Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1919-04-07

there soon--will kill old John Barley
corn so dead and bury him so deep
that he will never again be resuscitat'
ed or eXhumed.
There is something down at Cedar
Rapids that attracts one OF JEWELS
young men to the extent that he spends
about half of his Sundays in that city.
Well, the last time he was down there,
he says, he gave her 200 kisses. Now
don't put wrong construction on this.
1t wasn't the kind that requires any
muscular exertion at all. that is, 1t
wasn't the osculatory brand, but the
kind that come wrapped in tissue
paper and has nuts in 'em. Oh, Hank
There is no grand and glorious, etc, in
that. 4
SO the Williams correspondent
spends her Sunday afternoons out on
the prairie gatherin' pussy Willows,
oh, you city folks think you are awful
ly smart, dOntja? Just because you've
been examining down few pages OF
elementary botany, you think you can
name everything that grows out OF the
earth, dontja? We doubt like the
dickens though whether the Williams
correspondent can tell the difference
between. pussy willow and ripe
cocklebur-and there must he helaya
lot of difference, too.
When Bill Thompson, the republican
mayor of Chicago, whose official record
is anything but commendable, could be
reelected after having passed through
one of the most scorching political
campaigns ever waged upon American
SOIL it would seem that the people
will elect almost anything in prefer
ence to democrat. Oh boy! What's
going to happen to the democratic
donkey in 1920?
Just why some men in this enliEhten-
ed day ana age will wear full beard,
one that resembles an alfalfa field IN
fun bloom, is something we cannot I'M
derstand. Surely there is no ornament
in heard foot long and as matted as
a patch of quack grass and we wOuld
think they would make one feel ex-
tremely uncomfortable if for no other
reason than they are IN the way.
Furthermore, they are not conducive
70 good health. The medical, fraternity
long ago declared the boards as insani-
fairy and make fertile fields for the
development of bacteria bacillus, or
what you call'em. 1t has been said
fiat the Spanish flu germs were
brought to this country last summer IN
the whiskers Of an old sea captain.
Ont ,em off, fellows, cut 'em off, and
keep 'em down.
The way to '.get on" the school board
Is TO get on If the women want a
place ION that school board" they
should let their wants be known ana
then get out and hustle for EN-. Time
was when the. Office sought the man
time is when the man must seek the
office, if he wants it. You don't get
ANYTHING handed up to you on plat
ter nowadays without any effort at all
on your part. No ma'aM. Women III
this state have the right to vote at all
school elections. Then why the deuce
don't they take advantage OF It anu
vote when they have a chance and QUIT
Yelling themselves llOarse over that
.oyerworked phrase equal rights.
Women. like men, should practice what
they preach. If she has the mental
enuipment a woman as a rule makes
a better teacher than a man. IL IS IN
tbe nature of things. She mas the
mother instinct. For the same reason
she would make good as "A school direc-
TOR. There is no doubt about that.
Talk less and act more, dear sur
fragettes, and then square your words
with deeds. Give me my hat I'm
going. Goodnight!
April 5.