The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1919-11-01
GIRLS WHO WOULD MARRY.

My dear young friend:-In our cor
respondence we have discussed many
topics, but the subject that you sug-
gest today is, indeed, delicate one.
You wish to have a confidential chat
with an old lady on the subject of
marriage. Are you?-but l do not
wish to be indiscreet; delicate
theme such as this must avoid per-
sonalities.
l have always divided young women
who wish to marry into two cate
gories: /. Those who in the circle
of their intimate friends freely admit
that they are not adverse to giving
their hand in marriage to a desirable
young man. They would not, how
ever, disregard good form or defy
social convention in order to attain
their object, even at the cost of per-
sonal inclination. If fate brings them
the ideal man whom they expect, they
gladly and gratefully assume the du-
ties and responsibilities of wife and
mother. 2. Those who do not have
the courage to give expression to
their secret hope, but who through
dress and conduct betray that the
thought of satisfactory marriage
dominates their whole being. FIRE.
quently it is not altogether the girls
fault, for how often has mamma made
known to the daughter that it is her
concern to win man, one who be-
cause of his social standing and ma
terial means might be called good
catch"
The Apostle Paul says that mar
rlage is great sacrament, but in an
other passage he declares that he who
gives his daughter in marriage does
well, while he who does not, does bet
ter. Must all girls necessarily be-
come married? Are there not many
occupations to which a single woman
can devote herself, realizing the full
aspirations of her heart and soul?
Those young women who can look for
ward to single blessedness without
pecuniary misgivings have the attrac-
tive fields of art, science and charity
before them. If l had daughters l
would have educated them to become
economically independent so that they
could calmly await matrimonial de-
velopments. She who never marries
Will never become so happy as she
desires, but she will also not be so
unhappy as she fears. l have always
regarded nuns as the happiest women.
Fortified spiritually, they are immune
from the cruel blows of fate. But a
religious life presupposes the grace of
a vocation.
Therefore, let everyone who binds
herself for evermore, analyze herself
carefully. l would like to know how
many girls seriously entertain this
caution before they enter upon a
course of life from which there is 10
retreat The young girl sees the
faults of the young man through the
veil of love merely. Important is the
question: Has my chosen one any
religion? When his love grows cold,
will his education or my own influ-
ence bring about his return to the
faith?" A girl in love is apt to over
estimate her influence. If you, my
dear young lady, cannot answer this
question in the affirmatiye,-then de
cline. Social standing, position, in
come are by no means negligible guam
titles. Lack of money is defect that
can be most easily overcome. How
ever the all-important question con
Germs those qualities of young mar
that guarantee happy Christian fam
lily life.
The engagement period should serve
the purpose of enabling a girl to be
come better acquainted with her fu
ture husband. If at the eleventh hour
the truth should dawn upon her tina
he is unworthy of her love or thai
their characters do not harmonize
then she should sever the engagement
Cordially yours,
B NJ