The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-09-16

Today; ERNEST MILLER, our can
didate for finance commissioner.
A-ahI
Now you'll learn how the city ticket
backed by We Editor Mods win guard
the city treasury, when Ernest Miller.
our candidate, goes into office. Verify,
a new era will open.
There Is nothing about finance that
our candidate doesn't know. When j,
Howard Audrey left Dallas, Texas, 70
become vice -president of the National
City Bank OF New York, he first wired
Ernest before accepting, And II was
on Ernest's advice that J. Howard ac-
cepted. You see, besides their finan-
cial inclinations, they had another
trait IN common. Like T Joe, Cole, our
candidate for mayor. they both part
their name in the middle. Mr.. Miller's
financial name always has been F,
Ernest Miller. But his political name,
insisted upon by Ye Editor, Ii plain
Ernest Miller, We can't have too much
class on this ticket. We want the votes
Of the b~ootleggers and the Republicans
as well as the church vote. ut might
be well in passing to remark that ].
Piermont Morgan also had a soft spot
in his heart for F. Ernest You can
see the r~eason).
When Ernest Miller was a little boy,
he heard about George Washington
throwing a dollar across the Delaware
river. The story fascinated him. 1t
marked the beginning OF his financial
career.
Little Ernest, being a born ~financier,
also wanted to throw a dollar across a
river. He started to choose the Mis-
But two things interfered. First, he
didn't have the dollar. Second, he
couldn't throw across the Mississippi,
Then the Unborn financial genius
crept out in our candidate. He got the
dollar, from his fathers pan-er,
Struggled in beneath his pillow until
morning. Then he went to the Loosa-
hatchie, which was powerful low. He
cleared a place across the stream,
marked it carefully, and tossed the dol
lar, across. Then he crossed,
not have thrown as far as George, but !
quit with more Of my capital i
Then Ernest traded the dollar to a
grocery keeper for W halves. Te
traded the two halves for four quar-
tiers. Then he slipped in a bad two
bit piece, and handed the three good
quarters and the bad one In on q busy
Saturday, and got a dollar just like his
original one. The very genius OF H.
nancel .
He pushed that $1.25 until today 1t
has resulted in lots n lots n houses
and houses, enough so that Ernest can
have bacon and eggs for breakfast
every morning, If he wants EN-. He
made bond one time for a chap, amount
SIS, 900. The man skipped, and the
court hung the forfeiture on Ernest
and fellow bondsmen. Did u candi-
datee draw a check? Huh! He was q
financier. When the smoke and dust
cleared away, he and his fellow bonds
men still had their $4,000, and the
court was out.
Ernest has been a deputy sheriff. a
politician, a speechmaker and a claim
agent in his wanderings through lire.
Could anything better qualify q man
for finance commissioner?
Ernest made one speech when he was
a member of the state legislature. 1t
was short, but 1t was a gem. Referring
to a political opponent, Ernest made
this terse announcement on the floor OF
the house Of representatives, "Mr:
Mr.. So-and-so is a liar and a thief"
There was no reply from the negative
side OF the debate.
We recommend Ernest for his manly
qualities to the lady voters. He Is not
much for beauty, being, like most great
f~inanciers, as ugly as a $40 bill is
has lots of pretty $40 bills. so ladies.
rest assured that the treasury OF the
city will be we'll looked after.
Ernest is almost SUI to get the solid
craps shooters vote, knowing personal
ly almost every crops shooter in the
city from having arrested them while
he was a deputy.
But, alas! We fear for the bootleggers''
vote. 1t may go to some other ticket
for finance commissioner. Ernest hasn !
taken a drink for more than ~ years.
. But then, a man cannot be perfect, He
must have at least one fault.
Hence we recommend Drnest Miller
for your consideration as finance COM
after Ernest Miller's name when you
20 to the polls, And after the names
of the other candidates On Ye Editor
Mods ticket.