davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

40 23d of April" says
Vn ..v W NJ. Depew, William
b'unes s.re. St. George and | were
SsSespesa I am the only survivor"
w, ! ' ssven years he has survived,
Iehl Nth little to eat except BAN
r ! would like to board him"
' ,1;,,sd boarding house keeper.
s 4 never dimes at home" !.
" q mn ~ banquet, invite people OF
, e " and trusty Chauncey will
l p'.d e attend and make the fun
" ga 'aosch of the evening. All new,
/ .s sp Brilliantly, dazzlingly
Rack in $50, he addressed the
~ 81 Society of New York. AS
'' MESSED when he arose, he had
a. s' u the reporters table just be-
u n, \ speechmaking began, and
.','need that neither Senator
s's,ssss nor Secretary Bayard
VA sIa'' As had been expected, hold
Tut y he added, "there will still
|. me- good speech-mine." As he
I. IN to relate, with one accord
IT, q reporters answered and
4, unto me, saying, 'Chauncey,
4, reported that speech of yours
4 times already"
sme men are born great and
=, are born in Ohio, as Depew
a 70 remark in McKinley's day.
h himself was born in Peekskin, N.
/ During political campaign,
Inn ago, Depew and Blaine were
|n,urg up the Hudson, making
|sxhes at little towns along the
IN. As they approached Peekskill,
INV happened to mention that it
n bis birthplace. why" said
|hns Il always thought you were
|m in Buffalo" Arriving at
|hikin, Blaine stepped to the plat
Inn Of their car, and thus addressed
II natives.
Tor 80 years | have passed regu-
hi up and down the Hudson, and
Hive never come in view of this
|ntful town but that my heart
lind up, and | have said to my
N There-THERE-is the birth
~ Of my steadfast friend and sup
In, Chauncey M. Depew."
civil war days, Depew became
Eay Of state in New York when
L 80 and seemed destined to go
The courier-index., 1919-12-19
,..c Suruiues Eighty-SeUen Years
n.y." With Little to Eat EXCEPT Ban0uets
st. Louis Globe-Democrat.

far in politics, but business interest
ed him more and he never got be-
yond the United States senate.
Thrown in with financial magnates in
New York city, he was amused at
their genius for viewing great prin-
ciples always from the financial
standpoint.
One day, just after his election to
office by a vote in which the CITY
had gone heavily against him but
had been overbalanced by the coun-
try districts, he met friend in Wall
street.
Excuse me, SENATOR" said his
friend, "but fear you must feel
greatly disappointed at the defeat of
your party here"
mot at all" said Depew. eve car
ried the state as a WHOLE
"You are not really annoyed by
the vote here?"
mot in the slightest degree" De-
pew insisted.
"Then," said the man, would you
mind loaning me $50"
All his life Depew has been a col
lector of jolly yarns, and in Wash
ington he amassed them by the
score. One of the jolliest concerns
senator who shall be nameless.
While getting shaved, this senator
remarked to his old colored barber,
Uncle, you are old-you must have
known many famous senators long
before my time"
"Yessah, SENATOR" replied the ne
gro. II knowed de greatest senator's
dat was eber here. By de way, SEN
ator, you remind me of Dan1 Web
ster."
"Ah, indeed" said the statesman.
Like Webster! My head has the
same shape, and my brow looks like
his, suppose?"
mo, boss" said the barber, "it's
yo' breff.'
At the close of speech to Italian
laborers during one of the Roosevelt
campaigns "a speech which had
been puctuated with violent applause
and had wound up amid ear-splitting
cheers-Depew sat down flushed and
beaming.
This must have been the finest
speech of my entire career" he re-
Elected. Seeking out the local man.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

belonging to the private library of
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
Says peach of girl to Methu-
saleh, II see you've been celebrating
your birthday. Which is it,"
''The nine-hundred- and -sixtieth."
"Oh, my dear Mr.. Methusaleh!
Really and truly you don't look day
over DO"
Take him all in all, is there any
where on earth a SUMMER, happier,
more delightful old soul than the
prince of story-tellers, Chauncey M.
Depuw? Nobly has he lived up to his
own maxim, Laugh and the world
laughs with you; snore and you sleep
alone"
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

the scenic attractions of the route
for tourists than in dozen poems
by Alfred Tennyson," but he pokes
endless fun at mere money grabbing.
Depew refrains from identifying
this delightful fellow as New Eng
lander. Though he remarked in a
paragraph about Philadelphia, mo
Yankee ever stays in Philadelphia
because no Yankee can make money
there" he admits that not all New
Englanders are alike. One day a
Yankee came into his office and
asked him for a pass over the New
York Central
oh said the man, 81 have fine
new occupation now. Expect to make
my everlastin fortune at it. Going to
be lecturer. They give me SIS to
lecture in Albany tonight, and all !
need is some way of getting over
there, for | haven't cent"
Depew wrote out the pass, then
asked, What are you going to lee
ture about?"
Thank you," said his friend,
warmly, 81 knew you'd help me out.
The subject? Why, it's How to
Make Money"
Perhaps Depew's cleverest jibe at
the New Eng1anders is his story of a
Bostonian who went to heaven and
remarked condescendingly, that the
place was all very well in its way,
even to a Bostonian.
But westerners amuse Depew still
more, and it is to him that we owe
our knowledge of the deceased Chi
cagoan who declared in the other
world, Heaven isn't so very much
better than Chicago after all, and
heard the whispered remonstrance,
"S-s-s-sh! This isn't heaven"
While touring through Illinois, De-
pew was asked where he was born,
and replied, "On farm at Peeks-
kill"
"And where was your father
born?" continued the questioner, an
Illinois politician of great repute.
"At the same place, on the old
farm"
"And your grandfather"
"On the old farm, too
"And your great-grandfather?"
"On the farm"
"And your great-great-grand-
father?"
"He bought the farm af the In
dams about $780,"
The politician blinked, drew deep
breath, and exclaimed, 81 don't be-
lieve one word of it; there is no such
case in the whole state of Illinois,"
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

ager, he complimented him on the
lntellience of the audience.
Their responsiveness was simply
delightful" said he.
YES" quoth the manager. "The
poor wops didn't understand a word
you said, but we had agreed that
they they were to applaud whenever
| lifted one finger, cheer whenever
lifted two, and raise hell when |
lifted three. | just worked my fin
gers whenever l thought things
needed warming up"
After the election, Depew hap
pened to be talking with a demo-
cratic senator from down south.
"Depew," observed the democrat,
I'VE pranced around this country try
ing to defeat Roosevelt because he
entertained Booker T. Washington
at luncheon. From the character of
the returns. | am inclined to think
that if Booker had stayed to supper,
Roosevelt would have had unani-
nous vote"
All Depew's speeches are short
Whether on the platform or at a
banquet, he believes in knowing
where to stop-and stopping. Once
the Republican Club of New York
arranged a banquet and allowed
eight speakers total of two hours.
Nevertheless, Dick Oglesby of Illi-
nois turned up with an armful of
manuscript. Governor" inquired
Depew, show long are orators per-
mitted to talk at banquets in the
west?"
WELL" said Oglesby, ''in Illinois
never less than three hours and usu-
ally Six"
Nov, Oglesby,' protested Depew,
"it is 1880 already and six men
follow you. If you don't sit down
Is minutes after you begin, you may
never get back to Illinois alive"
At IL, Oglesby was in the full tide
of his discourse. A little after l in
the morning they managed somehow
to squelch him, but he went back to
his hotel still bursting with oratory,
and at a o'clock rushed into Senator
Foraker's room and shouted" Sena-
tor, these weaklings of the east don't
understand our western vigor or the
energy of western thought. | will
tell you what l intended to say"
President of the New York Central
for Is years, Depew made himself
millionaire, and loved to say, "There
is more poetry in one booklet by our
general passenger agent describing
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

Another of Depew's western jokes
relates how a charming mayor of
Kansas City received a dinner invita-
ton inscribed "R. S. v. P" and
asked leading citizen, "What the
deuce does that mean?"
ooh, simply directions as to what
to wear! 1t means, Come in round
about, shirt, vest and pants"
''I'll stay homew cried the mayor.
81 haven't worn a roundabout since |
was kneehigh to grasshopper."
Out in Ole Hanson's country, De-
pew met governor who was annoyed
one day by fool question sent in in
writing by fellow waiting outside.
"Give him an evasive answer" said
the governor to his secretary. "Tell
him to go to HE'LL
Like every man who has reached
the top in business, Depew finds some
thing deliciously humorous in the av-
erage onlooker's explanation of sue
cess-as luck, generally. One of the
ablest Representatives in congress
told Depew that he began life hum
bly, and for a time was employed
with friend as a waiter in a hotel.
firing of that, he caught freight
train west and settled on the Pacific
coast, where he throve in business
and was sent to Washington by an
adoring constituency.
On his way to the capital, he passed
through the little towns where he had
been a waiter, and stopped at the old
hotel. His former partner and room
mate was still there, and, not recog-
nizing the congressman, waited upon
him. When the congressman revealed
his identity, the waiter gasped:
as it really you, Bob? How did
you get past the .clerk?"
The congressman said, eyes, it's
me, old man. When / left here /
went west, studied law, shaved like a
horse in business, scrimped, invested
my savings cautiously, stuck it out
through thick and thin, and now I'm
to sit in the house at Washington.
"Good Lord" cried the waiter.
"Why didn't l go west?"
Among Depew's distinctions, the
most endearing, perhaps, is the way
he has of growing old gracefully. For
many years it was customary to hold
an annual dinner in New York in
honor of his birthday, and nothing
delighted him more than to make
sport of the passage of time by quot
ing a yarn about Methusaleh, as au-
thentically recorded on brickbat
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

The colonial government of the
Dutch East Indies proposes to build
900 miles of railways during the
next Is or 20 years.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

A patent has been granted for q
device featured by sort Of three
handed clock dial to indicate the day
of the week, the day Of the month
and hour when man absent from
his office will return.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

Florida has been spending more
than $2,000,000 on new hotel work
in preparation for the greatest tour
lists year in history.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

Sidney Hooks went over and
turned the corn shelter Tuesday for
Frisby Hancock. He says the corn
shelter made so much noise he didn't
get credit at all for what he DONE
Dog Hill Paragrafs.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

With the close of the active build
ing season the United States faces
housing shortage equal to the needs
of 100000 people.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19
GARDNER WANTS TO
BE u. S. SENATOR

Kansas City, No.. Dec. 17.-Gov-
ernor Frederick D. Gardner an
nounced at dinner at the Country
Club in Jefferson City that he will
be candidate for the democratic
nomination for the United States
senate.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

In the three years of the world war
six million men were killed. In the
same years eight million died of tu-
berculosis. Buy Christmas Seals.
The courier-index., 1919-12-19

President of the New York Central
for Is years, Depew made himself
millionaire, and loved to say, 'There
is more poetry in one booklet by our
general passenger agent describing
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01

Yelling When Armistice was Signed.
At eleven o'clock, eleventh month
and twelfth day the Armistice was
signed and such a yell. But the yanks
were ready to keep on. We were right
behind the gun that fired the last shot
of mustard gas into Germany at the
dot of eleven o'clock. Thank God it
is all over. We have started to get
Strengthened up now. | told you all
they needed were the Pioneers to end
the war Wasn't | right? All we
want to do now is to get back to the
good old U. S. A. and the place called
Home, Sweet Home, which will not be
long now. Hoping you will enjoy
these few lines, could write a book,
but will tell you more when l get back.
Remember me to everybody and tell
them, I'll see them. Your Loving Son,
R. Warren Deakyne, Company A. 59th
Pioneer Infantry, A. E. F.
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01
L. IRVING HUTCHINSON WRITES.
Letter From France to His Father
William HutchisOn at Greenspring

Letter From France to His Father |
William HutchisOn at Greenspring
Battery c, 7th L. M. B.,-A. P. o. No.
903, American E. F., France, Nov.
"a, 1918.
Dear Dad:-As this is "Dad's Xmas
Letter Day" and they want all of
us to write them a letter, | will write
you few lines to tell you that | am
still well and expecting to be home by
Easter. How is everybody around
home? Is it very cold there now? 1t
is real cold here in the morning and
the days are very short, the sun rises
about a. m. and sets about $50 p. m.
l have a real warm place to sleep, as
my cot stands near a stove and have
four heavy army blankets to keep me
warm when necessary, also have in
possession a gas mask and trench he'll
met and they have issued me a lea
ther jacket now.
How are all of you folks getting
along? l haven't heard a word from
anybody for nearly five weeks, but it
seems more like five months to me.
Do you know yet where you are going
to move? You will have to let me
know where it is as soon as possible,
so l will be able to find it, for that will
be one happy moment of my life,
when they hand me my discharge and
tell me to "get out as soon as pos
sible" and take it from me it won't
take me very long to get out either,
as there is no place like the good old
L. S. A.
noticed a piece in the paper last
evening that there will be little CEN
soring going on in these letters, as
they want us to tell you where we are
stationed and where we have been
since we landed. asked the Sergeant
of our Battery, but he advised me not
to until we received orders from the
Captain and as we have not received
them yet, will not tell you where we
are at present, but will tell you where
have been, when l get "Home."
Guess l will close now hoping these
few lines will find you all in the best
Of health, as it leaves me o. K.
Another Letter on Thanksgiving Day
November 28th, 1918
Will endeavor to write again to let
you know ! am still well and getting
along as we'll as can be expected ir
this country. 1t is very muddy here
at present, as it had been raining the
=. last three days so you can imagine il
is little damp here now.I understand
as a rule the seasons are very rainy
and not much cold weather They say
it never gets any colder than it has
Continued on third page.
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01
SMYRNA BOY WRITES Of HIS
EXPERIENCES IN FRANCE.
r. WARREN DEAKYNE son OF
w. d. DEAKYNE WITH PIONEERS
Tells of His Trip Overseas, the Places
He Saw and of His Exciting Exper-
fences Near the Fighting Line.

Private Reuben Warren Deakyne, of
Company A. 59th Pioneer Infantry,
(Delaware) son of Mr.. w. D. Deakyne,
of Smyrna, writes the following inter-
esting letter from France:
Limey, France-Dear Dad:-Just
like every other thing, l am behind
with it. But it is better late than
never, isn't it? The reason l say am
behind with this is that the twenty
fifth of this month was set aside as
Dads Day for the A. E. F. to write
Dad Christmas letter and as the CEN
sOrship has been lifted a little it
is much easier to write than it was be-
fore. In this letter you are allowed
to tell where you are, what you have
been doing and so on. So you can
see it is much easier to write than be-
fore. | have written you a number of
times, but it was impossible for me to
tell you any of my experiences, so this
time l will try and give you some of
the things l have seen. l will begin
with my departure from our training
at Camp Dix and up to now.
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01

Continued on third page.
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01
From Camp Dix to Overseas.

Well we left Camp Dix on the even
ing of Wednesday, August the 28th,
1918, at l suppose about ten-thirty.
boarded the train there for Hoboken.
We arrived in HobOken at about $50
O'Clock in the morning. There we load
ed on our transport, and a transport it
was too, believe me. She was one of
the largest ships afloat, better known
as the Fatherland or Leviathan. At
the outbreak of the war between Ger
many and the United States, this Ger
man boat was in one of our harbors.
Of course Uncle Sam siezed her and
made a transport out of her. Ger
many thought that it had been sunk,
but if she could only see the amount
of troops it brought over to whip her,
l guess it would surprise her. Well
| will go on with the story After ly-
ing in harbor a couple of days waiting
for the rest of the troops, we set sail
out of New York harbor, Saturday
of the same week, with eighteen
thousand troops and a crew OF
two thousand men. That seems i'm.
possible when you read it of how you
could get that amount of men aboard
ship, but they were there. We haC
a pretty good trip across; we never
sighted submarine as l know of al
the way across, in fact l wasn't wor
rying because she was very heavily
guarded both night and day. So to my
notion there was no use worrying. Blu
there was a lot of seasickness
we weren't sailors we were soldier
and to tell you the truth l like some
thing that the grass can grow OF
under my feet (dogs, they call then
here) you can't blame me either cal
Smyrna times., 1919-01-01
Sailed up the the Bay of Biscay.

DuC Dy patiently waiting we sailed |
up the Bay of Biscay and some of the
boys sighted lighthouse and such
yelling you never heard. 1t was impos-
sible to keep US off the decks, it surely
did look good to us. We arrived in
our harbor about dusk on September
7th, and as our ship was so big she
could not dock, we did not unload un-
til the next morning, Sunday. Just
seven days crossing the Atlantic,
where it took the rest fourteen days;
she was so fast we could have given
a submarine a nice chase, if they did
get after US. We landed in a well
known port, Brest, there we hiked out
in the country few miles to a rest
camp and a rest camp it was. Just as
soon as we got our dog tents up it
started raining and rained every day.
You can imagine what kind Of resting
we had with everything wet and even
a wet bed. But we cheered each other
up and let it go at that. We stayed
their a couple of days, from their we
went to a place called Fort Debougen
for guard duty, where it was little
better and it was there that the boys
got their first taste of the French
wines and beer. Some of us fellows
had several big times, while we were
there. In fact we hated to leave, but
it wasn't what we liked. After staying
there a couple of weeks we were or
dered to move. We were up the next
morning rolling our packs at 4.3C
ready to get on the move. We hikeC
from there to the station few mile.
away and Dad here is where our fun
started. Our destination was unknown
to US, but on our arrival to the station
instead of the nice coaches back il
States on our railroad cars we wer
greeted with the wonderful cattle car
about half the size of our box car
back in the United States. In one o
these there were forty of us. And yo
should have heard them trying +
sleep in there with somebody walkin
all over your face and body with thos
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1919-07-01
Compromise amOrOSO

La culta socicdad dc Bayamon SC
prcpara para asistir a los esponsales
que en- breve celebraran los distingui-
dos iovencs don Manuel A. Rosales Y
la senorita Manuela Lucas, quienes dis
frutan ALI de la mas alta estimacion.
Los novios han formalizado el com
promise amoroso y las bodas sc celebra-
ran por el rito catolico ell la iglcsia
dc Bayamon.
Don Manuel A. Rosalcs ocupa I'm alto
cargo en- la mercantil ''Merino Her
manos" dc esta capital donde sc ha
hecho acreedor la confanza dc sus
jefes.
Las bodas anunciadas prometen ser I'm
acontecimiento EN- la vida social de Ba
yam6n. Una orquesta ha sido contra
tada para tocar la Marcia Nupcial'
dc Lohcngrin ell las fastuosas bodas.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1919-07-01
No Iadran a Ia luna, ST. AICaIde

Infnidad dc personals RESIDENCES cn
la localidad sc quejan con frecucncia
cn csta rcdaccion dc que son molcstados
por pcrros rcalcngos que pululan dc
ccnas por Las GALES dc csta ciudad.
Muchas vcces hemos tcnido la opor-
tunidad de comprobar que tienen fun
damento las quejas. Estos animales os-
torban a los transcuntes, desparraman
las inmundicias de los zafacones, lie
nando cl ambiente dc miasmas insalu-
bres, detienen el curse dc los vehicu-
los ell la via publica; desarrollan pcli-
culas rcnidas con la moralidad, cn cl
silencio dc la media noche, forman con-
ciertos caninos y turban cl sueho dc los
durmicntcs con su milsica dc pcsadilla.
Yea ESQ cl Municipio. Esos perros no
ladran la luna.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1919-07-01
El bersfiCio de Gloria Gil Rsy

Un publico muy numeroso cusl 81
fucra cn los bucnos ticmpos dc La
zaro o dc Espcranza Iris, asis'io Ia no
che del sabado al bencficio dc Gloria
Gil Rcy. la cminente estrella, que nos
ha proporc:onad tantas gratas nochcs
Ell cl Municipal.
Gloria, va 10 hcmos dicho rcpctidas
veccs, cs una gloria vcrdadcra del
artc del ritmo.
El publico conocicndo y aprcciando
la artista que tcnia eli frcnte. prorrum
pia eli una ovacion formidable cada vcz
que Gloria aparccia cn la csccna.
Llovicron las flores
Sc multiplication los rcgalos
La bcncfciada. Ia linda Gloria. I'M
POGO cmocionada. daba con una ligcra
inclination dc cabeza las gracias a la
concurrcncia
va Gloria habra vis'o como aqm Sc
lc quicrc Sc lc admira.
Es la prcdilecta.
Es portorriqucha.
Es dc Carolina.
Anochc Sc dcspidio del publico dc
San Juan cl Cuadro dc Varicdadcs CLIO
RIA GIL REY.
Como sicmprc cl tcatro cstaba lleno
Maria Montcro. la bcncficiada dc ano
che, fuc muy aplaudida
La Montcro gust6 mucho El publico
lc hizo repetir varios numeros dc su
repertoire.
Ell ltncs cmbarca para Venezuela.
El Mundo. [volume] (San Juan, P.R.) 1919-1990, 1919-07-01
LAS MUIERFS OCIPNN STTIOS
DE PREFERENCIA

Dc~pu dc hancrsc dalo prime luio
Va . amblca anti -nrohibicionisia. M
incidcnfc intcrc an'ismo intrrrumpio
" acfo Doscicntas damas. quc cons
'ifuian Ia delo~acion ac Baltimore ode
eio. decentralization fal 81 hahian
1cn'crado al'nno- minu'os. Ncga
ron al silio dc "a asamhen dc ppc H.
hnhor n,nrrhndo nrr la "Ea.t Capitol
Street" ostcntundo parasolcs dc por
pura tina banda las accompanied
III acto fuc intcrrumpido para dar
les la bicnvcnida q las distinguidas da
mas, Y cl 'tOastmastcr" dc la fiesta.
que ocupaba Ia trihuna. dcsccudi6 d.
ella Mr. Z. W. Baync atravcso por
entire la muchcdumbrc aglomcrada s
fuc rccibrlas
I'll orador consiguio que - pnhlirp
hicicra un vacio en- un sitio dc prcfc.
rcncia. c cual ocuparon las bcllas ma
nifcstantcs
Mrs. +. Rooney. prrsidcntn dc IL
"Liga Fcminca DC I.ibcriad PERSONAL
dc Baltimore. fuc llamada pronun-
ciar un discurso
La muchedumbrc. frenctica deli
rantc. la aclamo. y cntonccs. ella. su-
bio la tribuna grito
-"Yo cstoy dispuesta ir al mis-
mo inferno 81 fucrc ncccsario para
haccr triunfar este movimicnto"
q am willing to 60 To hell 10 put
this movement thrOugh).
Mr.. John b. Colpoys. uu leader
socialista, a quien le tocaba pronun-
ciar el discurso de aperture, ocupo en-
tonces la tribuna. Lego las resolucio
mes adoptadas por Ia a. + Of T.. of