davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

A mar wants to know what is the
matter with matrimony.
"Why is marriage SO generally a
failure, and why do so few people find
any happiness in the holy estate?'
he asks.
Marriage Is a failure because men
and women enter into the most binding
OF all contracts with less thought and
consideration than they give to buying
a new hat.
II they were going to buy a house
they would hire a lawyer to look up
It's title, but they marry people with
out ever investigating what sort OF
mortgages rest on their past lives, II
they were going to pay as muchc as
$25 for a dog they would be careful
about its pedigree, but they do not
bother to find out what rotten strains
Of blood may flow in the veins of the
men and women they marry and that
they will inflict on their children.
No other enterprise in which people
engage in which they exercise as little
f%orethought as they do in marriage
would turn out any better than mar
rage does.
Marriage is a failure because people
deliberately pick out one kind Of hus-
band or wife when they want another,
expecting the marriage service to work
some sort of miracle that will change
the individual they have chosen for a
life mate into something entirely diff
ferent. The man who desires an In
dustrious, thrifty, economical wife
doesn't marry a domestic girl who has
taken the blue ribbon for bread -mak-
ing, He picks out a little fluffy ruff
files, whose idea of heaven Ia to live
in a smart hotel and look like a fashion
plate,
The girl who yearns to ride in a
limousine and wear Paris frocks and
have a box at the opera doesn't pick
out for a husband a business man who
thinks IN dollars and cents and who
has the gift of gathering dollars. She
selects Il dreamy poet or an up-tn-the-
air idealist, who will never be more
than one lap ahead of the sheriff.
And because fluffy ruffles cant cook
and won't cook and the dreamer viii
never learn how to make money, the
and discontented and bat matrimony.
Yet their position Is no more uurea-
sonable than 1t would be If they had
brought a bunch of violets that took
their eye II appealed to their taste,
and then found 1t wasn't beefsteak
when they got it home,
Matrimony is q failure because human
nature lacks a~daptahility. When you
think OF a man and oma who come
of different heredity, who have had a
different environment n n different
education, who have different ideals
and different tastes, undertaking to
live together in the intimacy Of the
home circle 1t Is not strange that they
get on each others nerves. The won
der would be il they did not fight over
everything from politics to pie,
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

MARCH 10, 1909.
10 Years Ago Today In Memphis.

Memphians had hurried to the aid OF
citizens of Brinkley. Ark, badly dam
aged the day before by a tornado. Over
30 people were killed and scores in
jured.
Ernest Hill, farmer, was under arrest
charged with murder of Lon l.. Chan
nell, who was shot the night before by
an unknown assassin.
Predictions were made by S. c..
Emery, weather observer, that the river
would go to 40 feet at Memphis. It
had already reached 81 feet and was
rising rapidly,
George Petty, local artist, won a pool
game match at DOC" Hottum's parlors
from Bodie Arndt, champion of Ohio,
by the score of 100 to 81.
The firm Of James Avdalis & Co. pro-
cured the contract to operate the Over
ton park refreshment privileges for the
coming season,
L.. =, Murray, linotype operator for
The News Scimitar, died an hour and a
half after quitting work, while alone
in his apartments.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10
GOES TO TIPPAH.

BLUE MOUNTAIN. Miss. March 10.
tSplD-W. r. Pollard. who has been
county farm agent in Alcorn county,
is to go to Tippah, his native county,
where he win at once take charge Of
progressive and scientific farming and
live stock raising. Prior to his removal
to Alcorn, MIR. Pollard became well
known in this county, being an active
fixture in local political circles.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10
SAILS FOR CHINA.

BLUE MOUNTAIN. Miss, March 10.
(Spl)-Miss Mary r. Anderson, who
for many years was head Of the pri-
mary department of Blue Mountain col
lege, has just sailed from a Pacific
port to Canton. China, to resume her
duties as a foreign missionary in the
has been stationed for some years,
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

REMINIsCING.
AROUND THE wood fire.
IN THE ranch house.
ON THE night Of the day.
WE HAD our runaway.
RECALLED.
THAT ONE time.
WHEN 7 "a. a boy.
IN MY early teens.
HAD seen a runaway.
WHICH as runaways 90.
WAS ENTIRELY successful.
AND RIGHT away.
THERE AROSE within me.
A GREAT desire.
TO WRITE something about it,
AND PUT it in the paper.
WHERE MY father was editor.
AND l wrote about it.
AND PUT it in my pocket.
AND WENT down to the office.
AND ON a counter.
THERE WAS a little tin box.
WHERE had seen ministers.
DEPOSIT THEIR church notices,
AND sUNDRY others.
DROP VARIOUS items.
OF LOCAL interest.
AND l waited there.
TILL NO one was looking.
AND THEN extracted.
FROM MY coal pocket.
THE LITERARY child.
OF MY youthful brain,
AND QUICKLY dropped it.
INTO THE box.
AND HURRIED away.
.
AND THE next morning.
WHEN THE paper came.
l WAS up and waiting.
AND IT was there,
IN THE local column.
ON THE back page.
UNDER LOCALS and Personals. )
AND NOT a word,
OF WHAT l had written,
HAD BEEN changed.
AND RIGHT there,
I MADE up my mind.
I'D BECOME a writer.
AND I kept my secret.
TILL THE next morning.
WHEN I read a notice.
SOMETHING LIKE this.
WILL THE person.
WHO WROTE the item.
ABOUT THE runaway.
ION PORTAGE avenue.
PLEASE CALL at the office"
AND l had an idea.
THEY WERE going to pay me,
AND I grew excited.
AND TOLD my father. 4
I'D WRITTEN the item.
AND THEN ! discovered,
THAT I'D made a mistake.
IN THE name of the store.
THAT THE team had run into,
AND THE store I'd mentioned.
WAS SORE about it.
AND / changed my mind.
ABOUT BEING a writer.
RITT EVER since then.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10
OK165PQT
Of tk@N9MQrt
II Roy KWouhon:

A DIFFERENT WORLD.
Somebody has said
1t is a different world
Since the war.
Somebody is right
Lady policemen,
Messenger boys with Whiskers.
transparent roast beef,
Women bill posters,
Foodless train meals,
Cement gum drops,
E1ghtyCent butter.
Puncture-proof griddle cakes,
Skp-Aop street cars,
A thousand new "donts,"
George Creel in eclipse
Desk soldiers back to work,
Skirts dragging on ground,
Winter weather abolished.
And a famine In parsnps.
How shall we ever
Withstand our Woes?"
Asks a calamity bowler
IN one OF our public prints,
And the philosopher replied:
60 to, a good show
And forget them"
Marie loved concerts.
took her to one not long ago.
We discussed the music.
Said |, His technique was excellent,
But his music sounded so quick and jerky"
Marie was clever,
Make no mistake.
Perhaps that's why she answered:
Well, don't blame him for that;
Wasn't he playing Chopin"
Mark Hellinger.
1t has been a very unhappy winter for the lady who spent 1895
Tor a squirrel coat.
A st. Louis man has been fined $500 for trying to kiss a police
woman. Gradually the people will learn that Is not what policewomen
are for but they are pesky cute-sometimes.
We can only hope that the Versailles conference doesn't run ont
OF peace before everybody is served.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

The election OF a Democrat running on the league of nations
platform in a Republican stronghold is signihcast enough to
warrant Senator Lodge in asking consent to strike out the round
robin inserted in the record.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10
The Public Be SerUed

I'VE BEEN interested in runaways.
BUT IN my widest dreams.
l HAD no idea.
I'D EVER be in one.
l THANK you.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

One thing about it: The ireprcssiblc George Bernard
Shaw tells the truth as he thinks he sees it, and no one has vet
accused him Of being myopc.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

New York gave a mighty welcome to the Reimbursement.
ana me men OF the lh1rueth must be given the same rousing
reception when they arrive.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

More American soldiers over there died from disease than
might have been greater,
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

me great s%hlpbH,Idoing plants will doubtless favor sinking
me German navy, Ibis will make more work and bring erist
to their mills. ""'
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

The NacancT III the Office of coal oil inspector for Shelby
county probably will ~precipitatc a heated political contest.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

All me Republicans except Taft are against the league OF
nations, and still they claim it is not a party issue.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10
MOOR SPORTG~

RSiAG % APPEAR AT EASE
Az ftG NlSt1NG COMAAlrT EE
From 0+e LODGE CALLH 10
SEE HOW 4ooR Govt IS
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

a wel-cared for brood SOW will bring in more money than
bale Of cotton. N1 U""
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-03-10

telegraph and telephone without wires, and scientists claim that
we may yet communicate with the denizenS of other planets
II the spiitualiSts can satisfactorily answer the agonizing ques-
ton, do Our loved ones live in the spirit land they will be
entitled to much gratitude. Sir Arthurs reform may go or stay.
The "od-imc religion" will continue to be good enough for
modest people.
The election Of a Democrat running on the league Of nations
platform in a Republican stronghold is significast enough to
warrant Senator Lodge in asking consent to strike out the round
robin inserted in the record.
One thing about it; The ircprcssblc George Bernard
Shaw tells the truth as he thinks he sees it, and no one has vet
accused him Of being myopic.
New York gave a mighty welcome to the Reimbursement
and the men OF the Thirteth must be given the same rousing
reception when they arrive.
More American soldiers over there died from disease than
were killed in war. Had they remained at home the number
might have been greater,
The great shpbuldng plants will doubtless favor sinking
the German navy, This will make more work and bring orsGf
to their mills. e S"'
The yacancT in the Office of coal oil inspector for Shelby
county probably Will preciptate a heated political contest
you can always predict what kind Of weather there will he
N March, provided you know all the different kinds.
an me Republicans except Taft are against the league Of
"Siions III sui they claim 1t is not a party issue.
a welLcared for brood SOW will bring in more money than
a bale OF cotton.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06

the corner of London newsstand and
mo adequate remains could be found
Zero would have been a welcome addl-
tion to the ranks of our local sovietcers,
who think that to speed by church at
dusk and toss a handful Of INT in that
direction in the vague hope OF kill
ing some one, is a glorious exploit
against capitalistic civilizations He
would have justified their outragcs with
a quaint huency Of philosophy, and when
netted by the secret service he would
have been a picturesque figure on his
way to the chair.
Alas it is to be feared that those who
make war on society these days arc not
such engagingly absurd figures as Ste
venson's rascal. They are maniacs who
delight in cruel Outrages for their own
sake and deal horror regardless. Blood
is their argument and blood their desire.
They think nothing Of striking down
"noncombatants" in the hope of reaching
those who they fancy have injured them.
They need not expect society to be tender
with them when it hunts them down.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
THE STRAW HAT

pAINY days almost invariably follow
upon the advent of the new straw
hat. Unsettled weather." said the
weather gentleman firmly in making his
Representation for the present week.
Men of fashion who put away their win
ter headgear on the tick of the clock
have no easy time Of it. They become
anxious students of weather reports.
They flee from a darkening cloud.
The straw hat has increased in popu-
larity as venture more and more boldly
toward colorful embellishments. Socks
OF bright hue are recent acquisitions
dear to the proud spirit of man, dearer
even than his passionate ties of recent
summers. But it is in his hatband that
the average man is most daring and
venturesome. Women, whose hats in
spire the oldest and most cherished Joke
in man-made world, preserve a wise
and tolerant silence when the season of
xolored hatbands comes round Straw
hats show which way the wind blows NOT
only in the streets, but in the realm of
p1asculine psychology.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
THE WATER SHORTAGE

IF THERE is water shortage in Phila-
delphia now what will the situation be
after July l?
This city comes next to Chicago as a
consumer of Adams ale in these days
when certain classes of the thirsty
moisten their throats with other liquids.
The daily consumption of water here is
40 gallons for each man, woman and
child, or $50 gallons for the average
family. In Chicago it is 220 gallons.
New York, whittier men go from all parts
of the country to quench their thirst.
uses 100 gallons. Boston gets along
with 1O5, while ST. Louis needs 12O and
Baltimore consumes 140 gallons.
We are told that the enormous guam
tity used here is due to the large number
of manufacturing plants, where the sur
plus not consumed in the homes of the
people is needed for the various processes
and flows directly into the rivers or
reaches them through the sewers after
serving its purpose.
Perhaps this is a complete explanation.
At any rate, the water is pumped into
the mains and goes somewhere 1t GER
tainly does not reach the homes of the
people in any such quantity as the figures
would indicate, and in some sections of
the city it is difficult in the summer to
get any water at all, save during a
rainstorm when the roof leaks.
If the situation is so bad as the .outgiy-
ings from City Hall would indicate some
thing will have to be done before the dry
spell begins at the end of next month.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06

HOG ISLAND AND A HOLIDAY

MORE than 10000 persons visited Hog
Island on a recent Sunday when the
vast shipyard was opened to visitors.
No one Who ever saw the greatest Of
shipbui,ding plants has gone away with
out new sense of amazement at spec
tacle that is almost indcscribable. and a
new sense of pride nd of confidence in
the American spirit. The schedule of the
yard recently published indicates that
two vessels are to be ready for stimuli
taneous launching on Memorial Day. If
Mr.. Brush and his associates in the di-
rection of Hog Island could find it posi-
bic to open the gates to the general pub
lie on that occasion about 100, 900 persons
would thank them for some unparalleled
thrills and an outing really worth while.
Few persons in this city are yet able
to realize that Hog Island is actually
one of the wonders of the world and per
haps the greatest single work under
taken and successfully carried out under
the stimulus of the war River steamers
could provide a magnificent grandstand
for multitudes if the yard management
would arrange its double launching as a
holiday event. The yard itself would
draw vast crowd. The people own Hog
Island. 1t is their shipyard. Most of
them have no adequate notion of the
miracle they helped to create Once they
were permitted to see the island and its
work they could afford to smile toler-
antly at the emotional blow-ups that
occur at intervals in Congress when effer-
vescent politicians find themselves in a
mood for probes and investigations.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
SATISFIED

M1HEN the Good Lord fixed the seasons
w And arranged the spring and fall
And the summertime and winter.
And the rain and snow and all:
When he made the storms that buster
And the little winds that blow,
And the frost that kills the flowers
And the crocuses that grow.
On. dont mean no irrcv' renee
When ! state this mystery;
when the Good Lord fixed the seasons
lie must have thought of me.
When I got tired Of summer
And | see the binding heat
Com" ripping up and sizzling
From out the blazing street:
When the long hot months have worn me
10 fragile thickness, then
Things change about, and autumn
Comes Haunting in again!
And l dream of Indian summer
And the fine cool days to be
When the Good Lord fixed the seasons
lie must have thought of me.
And then. when | get restless
And the winter nights are long,
| sit there by the freside
And hear the chimneys song.
1t somehow don't seem tiresonic
Because | know the year.
is moving round, and springtime
VIII pretty soon be here.
On, IT'S fine, Old Natures changes,
And they suit me to a T.,
When the Good Lord fixed the season.
He must have thought of me.
-Garnctt Laidlaw Eskew, in the New York
Herald.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06

earnest of an efficient democracy.
We have lined up few major points
Ihcre are other arguments equally
wclghty, and a proper discussion of this
vitally important topic might well fill a
book. The issue is so acuteIy before us,
however, that we do not feel that lengthy
arguments arc in order
This newspaper has consistently in
dorSed the program Of the charter revi-
sionists, which calls for homo rule and
good government in Philadelphia, and we
cannot, without a sense of qualification,
bring ourselves around to favor an emas-
culation of the charter program by con-
Sentng to looping off from local control
the city's largest, most important and
coStlicst single governmental unit.
After all, we believe in the American
tradition that the prosecution must prove
its case. and a wise cOrOllary of that doc
trnc would be that whom fundamental
change in government is proposed the
burden of proof must lie with the advo-
Gates of the change. This newspaper be-
,lcvCS that the advocates Of charter rCNI-
sion have adequately proved their case
and that the decent clements Of the COM
munity- rcgardlcss Of politics, regard
less even of factional prcrcrcncos--s"c
soljdly behind the very elementary
changes they propose,
With regard to the paiX police meas
urc, We believe that many Of the propo-
rcnts are acting in entire good faith.
II. Il
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
ELBOW ROOM

TUST because his name is Wood that
doesn't prove that he's presidential tim
Der.
This is cleanup week in Versailles also.
V
This is the time when many a would be
presidential candidate. hunting for an ''is-
sue finds only an exit.
We received birthday card yesterday
and were much touched by the sentimental
message on it. "Now." thought we. much
moved "who can that be from and how did
he know it was our birthday? 1t certainly
is delightful to receive these disintercstcd
tributes of friendship
We looked again into the envelope and
found the card of our insurance agent.
If one of those transatlantic flyers doesn't
make Il start pretty soon we won't be able
to drink his health when he takes the air
In other words. what W" are laboriously
leading up to is this: Wen be off hops when
he hops off.
NaIlOnS MI tPt IdNIHS Dtth htpOIttu Ms
Causing a "DeadIock' at the Peace Con.
ference
Liberia.
Cuba.
San Marino.
Those desiring to predict the complete
breakdown of the Peace Conference and who
have not yet done so had better hasten.
v
Even in his own estimation the crown
prince is no longer perfect thirty six.
He's thirty seven today.
Last year we wrote him a birthday poem.
but this year he hardly seems worth the
necessary expense of calories.
Seven doesn't seem like lucky number in
Camden. AT any rate, when applied to troll
ley fares.
The Urchin. aged two and a half years.
after observing some small girls in the square
where he takes his exercise, is very eager
to have doll baby carriage. Even so early
is the masculine heart perturbed by the
gongs on Of the other sex.
Another prophecy: The favorite amuse-
ment in certain quarters in November, 1920,
will be wondering what happened to "the
soldier vote"
The most transparent political maneuver
is retiring into ''seclusion" in the hope of
being summoned therefrom.
" " "
Femaledictions!
We're supposed to be angels of sunlight,
Smiling, cheerful and gay
But why is it always our best beloved
Cruel Fate takes away?
Oh. why is the Lot of Woman so hard?
Why are we so accurst?
| hear now that bar pins must be de- barred
After July the first. SUB ROSA.
An eminent Caliph writes us:
Some time when you pass the Bell Tele-
phone Building on the Parkway, look at
the flags. The American flag and British
jack are flying backwards. / suppose Mr..
Burleson has reason for so flying them.
We predict decline in bolshevism. At
any rate until the next equinox. Bolsheyism
is cold weather stuff.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
THE DYNAMITERS

n OVERS Of "The Dynamiter," that de-
IL licious farce in which Robert Louis
Stevenson skitted the Bolsheviks of his
day, will remember Zero Pumpernickel
Jones. the sentimental bomb-compiler of
Golden Square. This tender-hearted
assassin, whose hair had grown gray
with the vexstions of internal devices
that failed to explode as planned, was on
bis way TO Philadelphia, when brick of
d>namite in his handbag knocked against
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
What Do You KnonU?
QUIZ

l. Who is acting secretary of state in the
absence of Mr.. Lansing?
2. Where and what is Quidi Vidi?
3. Who is premier of Belgium?
4. When and where did the Kearsarge sinh,
the Alabama?
.. What is the origin of the word sill.
houette?
6. What is indicated by a halo around the
moon?
Z. What is the meaning of fore and -aft,r
s. What is a "Fortunatus purse?
0. Why is the humble bee so called?
10. What was the nationality of the artist
Nandyke?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-05-06
Answers to Yesterdays ouIz

~ SuIk
1. Ferdinand is king of Rumania.
2. Maui after which the large army trans
port is named, is one of the principal
islands of the Hawaiian group in the
Pacific.
g. The Nobel prizes are derived from
fund of $40, 100000 left by the Swedish
engineer
4. Camaraderie: intimacy, mutual trust
and socability of comrades.
5. The amaranth is an imaginary unfadinv
flower.
6. The cardinal signs OF the Zodiac arc
the two equinoctial and the two solsti.
tial signs, Aries and Libra, Cancer and
Capricornus.
Z. Eugene V. Debs was Socialist candidate
for President in 1916.
s. Exegesis: exposition, especially OF tbs
Scriptures.
0. Stormy petrels are called Mother Carey's
chickens.
10. The Prince DE Lgne declared. ''Ths
Congress of Vienna does not walk. b,ss
il Dances" Lt