The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-01
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

proper subject and there before him it is set down in white and back.
 Now wishing to know a bit more about
 sugar than its sweetness, took down a ponderods tome and turning to the Ss I
 read: Sugar. q term applied generically
 to number of sweet-tasting, polyhydrio aldehyde or ketonic a1chohols, such as
 dextrose and levulose, and their anhy-
 drldes, such as can sugar, which forms a
 considerable section of the class of com
 pounds known as carbohydrates"
 This being a good American encyclo-
 pedia had expected to be treated with
 more consideration, and so in hun l
 terked down the old reliable Brittanica.
 thinking if tho United States compilers
 had gone daffy would run across bit
 of common sense of the good old-fash-
 toned variety which in plain terms might
 give ire tip on the subject under iD-
 vesigation."
 Here is what I ran up against, Sugar,
 in chemistry, the generic name for 8 cer-
 tain series of carbohydrates. CTshen came
 the formula) Formerly the name was
 given to compounds having a sweet
 taste, e. G.. sugar of lead, but tis now
 restricted to certain oxyaldehydes and
 k1aN oy1fsr sr1a1
 and vegetable kingdoms either free or
 in combination as glucosides and to ar
 tificial preparations of similar chemical
 strncture.' This was followed by three
 pages of matter absolutely uninteliigibIe
 to me, as what little chemistry I learned in college left me years ago.
 I just looked over them long enough that for me 'ft was no mans land" and I dug in for did not wish to be asphyx lated with the poisonous gases which such words were sure to generate if they came in contact with my thin and de-
 pleted gray matter This war taught us the debt we owe to chemists, but until I essaycd to get up on sugar never knew just what heroes they were, for any man who can tackle such verbiage and live to tell the story deserves cross of honor.
 But what would we do without the
 original investigators, the men who for
 years turn their back upon the world
 and it's pleasures to give to mankind the results of their researches. A pessimist
 who remained too long at one of our
 leading universities said: Every college
 professor has his hobby. In botany it
 may be algae; in zoology it may be
 arachnids in chemistry it may be
 pseudothiohydanto I haven't the
 faintest idea of the extent or meaning of
 any of these things, but if length has
 anything to do with the difficulty of the
 question under investifation I give my
 sympathy on the side of the chemist.
 The thing for which am thankful after starting out on my tour of investigation is the fact that man to get the pleas ure ana full benefit out of sugar does not
 have to be able to repeat all the technical terminology in which the various formu-
 lac are embalIned in order to find out that it is sweet. Just suppose before a man could properly digest his food it was nec- essary to stand examina ton in phys- ology and dietics. I think it was Dr.
 Holmes who intimated that if the ordi-
 nary man had the slightest idea of how his food was assimilated he would think
 himself prodigy.
 Perhaps in despair of the flood of in- formation exuded by the enclycopedias you turn for relief to the dictionaries,
 but there will be no comfort in sight, for have just tried it. It was like roll call
 of the nations before I got to the deti- milton, for the variations on the word
 sugar which was given in every language from old English to Sanskrit was confus- ing that 1 fel- that I had unwittingly stumbled on a Tower of Babel conference, where the confusion of tongues was being born.
 I hope you will stick to me to the end, for l am terribly in earnest in trying to get gleam as to the real significance of
 the word sugar from the standpoint of the language sharps and the defners, Here IS one: Sugar, the general name of certain chemical compounds belonging to the group of car fbohydrates. They are sol uble III water, have more or less sweet taste and are directly or indirectly fer mentable. According to their chemical
 the saccharoses and glucoses." That was in section L Now comes number }: "A sweet crystalline substance, prepared
 chiefly from the expressed juice of the sugar cane, sar charum officinarum, and of the sugar teet, but obtained also from great variety of other plants, as maple maize, sorghum, birch and parsnip" Having gone this far I have little more sympathy with the hyper-educat- ed man who. having overstayed his, time at one of our great universities, kchose for thesis. That the under graduate departments are matching lunatics, while the graduate depart ments are breeding maniacs." I dare not set down in print what he thinks about the average professor who in his opinion ought to be locked up in a padded cell with his speciality where he
 would be prevented from infecting the studentry
 I am sure if you have followed me thic far that vo, have coma to tho oop-