The Washington times., 1919-10-15
MODERN 'RIP FINDS
WORLD HEARTLESS
Drifts In to City on Court Sum-
mons and Soon Drifts
Right Back Again.


got when he snapped out OF his long
couche. IS our French-speaking
doughboys say.
He is George W. Berry, a retired
farmer Of Talbot county, Maryland,
and his temperance in the metrop-
oils Of his native State after twenty
years-the same period as Vans -
was in traffic court Of Baltimore City.
Like the long -whiskered, moth-eaten
Dutchman Of the Catskills, this prop
erly shaven, neatly dressed old-time
Marylander came back as victim
of the new-fangled civilization that
had popped up while he was down in
'the sticks"
And in the same manner as that
seIf-same Dutchman, he came back to
be the victim Of a raw deaI"-a mis-
take.
But he saw a good show. For q
couple OF hours he heard and saw
things the like Of which they never
hear and see down in Talbot county,
and the like Of which he never heard
and saw when he was in Baltimore
twenty years ago. AS he sat with
the rest of the traffic court crowd
on a nifty, modern mission" style
bench, group after group Of folks
stepped up to Magistrate Staylor's
bar and bawled each other out He
saw more brOtherly enmity, more
"buck passing" more evidence Of the
rapid decline Of neighborly love than
he saw in Baltimore twenty years
back. He came to the conclusion
before he left that automobiles (as
he said), don't care who own 'em."
How Grip Got summons.
He has an automobile himself. Like
other Maryland automobiles IL has a
| license number. One day recently
/ officer Hitzelberger watched an au-
I tomobile standing on a downtown
street within one Of the anti-parking
zones. He watched IL for a long
/ while, waiting for the owner TO step
up, and when he finally had to be
on his way and the owner hadn't
shown up yet officer Hitzelberger
/ took dOwn the name and number.
When ne got hold Of an automobile
I book the policeman looked up the
number he had written and found it
| opposite the name OF George w
I Berry. Trappe. Nd" So .he had q
summons issued.
In the course Of the arrival Of mails
over In Talbot county, George W.
Berry got the summons. IL means
]
/ Egyptian paprur, but il was unmis-
takably a summons. 1t had "aU-
thOrity" and court and command"
written all over it. So Uncle George
got out his ready-made blue satin tie,
packed his kit and made haste to an
swer the commands Of the judiciary.
George W. Berry," called Clerk
John J. White, iT.. OF the traffic
court, along aboutth middle of yes
terday's business, and Uncle George
stepped UP to the bar Of justice with
anxiety in every spear Of hair on his
sparseIy covered head.
'Mr. Berry, you're charged with
violating Section Umpteen Hundred
and Sixty, subsection 90, Provision
B, Of the Motor Vehicle Laws Of the
State Of Maryland in Baltimore city
on or about October 9, 1919. How do
you plead, guilty or not guilty?"
mot guilty" croazed Uncle George,
Il amt been in Baltimore for twenty
years up to today"
Twenty years." gasped Magls-
trate Staylor.
Twenty yearsr repeated Uncle
George.
Wrong Number9 Sure!
Officer Iitzelberger began sorting
his little cards to find the one with
George ". Berry's number Of IL. He
found it and thrust it dehantly at
the magistrate. Justice StaylOr look
ed Il up in the little yellow book.
"Why, that's the number Of a man
out in Roland Park, ,"-he said. Whats
your number, Mr.. Berry,"
Uncle George Berry produced his
operators card. The only difference
between that and the number OF Of
ficer Hitzelberger had was a differ
ence Of one digit. But that was
enough.
Dismissed" said the magistrate.
Must have taken almost 50 and
costs for you 70 come up here on
this wild goose chase" he called to
Uncle George. wish we could give
IL back TO you"
That's all right; that's all right"
said Mr.. Berry. Just a little visit
that's ALP
RIP Van winkIe" Berry didn't
have time 10 caat much out in the
corridor Of the central police sta
tions for he proposed 10 catch a train
at 4 o'clock and it was then $3.50. He
wasn't going 10 stay in Baltimore
any longer than he had to- FOR you
weren't as safe here now as you
were twenty years ago" he said.
'LOrd knows what they might ar
rest. me for next" he said This
was only a village when I was here
before and a man could have a nice
time. And as long as the only kind
OF bars you've got left Is that kind
hack there (jerking a toil-worn
thumb toward the coUrtroom), I'm
goin' back 20 Talbot county and I'm
goin' to stay there"