The Washington herald., 1919-05-27
Get on Cheap.


OF all the people who have been
law, John Henson Jared better than
any.
A combination of a jag and the
bringing In Of a half pint Of brandy
cost him only so.
He was nabbed as he hoped on
the electric train at Kenilworth.
II he hadn't been soused he would
not have been noticed.
But, as 1t was. the cop didn't want
him sleeping on the car tracks and
probably causing train to be de-
rallied.
"Ah was gwine through to Va
ginger, Jedge," explained Bill. "Ah
gotta brudder down dere wot needed
dat likker to makes pies en- cakes
| wild"
He was to meet his brother In Ken
| ilworth. he said. and they were both
to go to Virginia by automobile.
Most of the booze Bill carried was
| inside OF him. The little half pint
he carried looked almost too small to
notice
There was no explanation to the
court why Bill went to the expense
Of a trip to Baltimore and return, nor
oline coming about twenty miles from
| Virginia and then going back again
all for a half pint Of brandy.
However, be that as II may, the
| two offenses only cost Bill so. and
| he's probably home by now.
She Was Right.
Herbert Morris jumped of his coal
| truck one afternoon and rushed
| around to a house where his wife,
Cora, was visiting.
He stopped in front Of the house and
looked up at the window.
There he saw Cora and another
woman, smoking cigarettes. SO he said
"Ah got as much right to smoke
desc CONN nails as yo' has to drink
whiskey," Cora told him when he
demanded a reason for her conduct.
"Zatso"' shouted Herbert. Den All
gotta right to put you where yo' VIII
see all de smoke yo' wants. Yo' Is
goin' to see de debil right now"
1t happens that Cora could run
pretty fast She left Herbert way
behind and got to the station house
before he did.
"Ah didn't mean dat An was gwine
kill nah wife" he explained to the
court. she made me sore by smokin'
cigarettes en- All lost nah temper"
"You are going to lose your liberty
| IL you make any more threats like
| that" said the court as II took his
personal bonds to keep the peace.
One Month for Three Pints.
Harry Eager drives a delivery
Lizzie" used to haul meat around.
| When coming out of a store at
Twenty-seventh and l streets north
west. the other day. he discovered
that he was minus two hams.
boys were busy watching cor op-
portu1it:cs to get money without
working for II.
All four of them must go to Jail
for a month. Now they will work
for nothing and without liquid re-
Ifreshments. too.
| He looked all around. even in the
gasoline tank. but he couldn't find
hide nor hair of them.
Shortly afterwards. Lieut.. Thomp-
son. tile cop with the beautiful
lbald spot. got on the job and
rounded up a quartette of boys.
They were Bill Dyson. Bill Day
Bill Eyre and Arthur Dawson.
The three Ellis and one Arthur
were told where they could get
three half pirts OF whisky.
So they stole the two hams. sold
them for SIS ard bought the booze
When asked why they sold the
Ihams and bought whisky. they
argued that being thirsty, they
couldn't drink the hams and hac
to convert tf6m into money tc
buy the liquor with.
In court one trio d to shift the
J blam, on the otl'or. Only one oi
lthsm admitted stealing tn" meat.
Ins.eal of locking for jobs, the
The Great Robbery.
| Bill Hopkins worked as a waiter