The Washington herald., 1919-11-02
PENROSE'S INFANT FLIVVER"
IS SNORING DRAGON OF RED
Fire-Breathing Monster, Known All Over
Pennsylvania, Is Operated By Walter
Mancer, Who Has No Jelly-Fish Job
To Handle and Control It.

An itinerant naturalist and botanist.
otherwise known as "a gentleman OF
the road" or more intimately as a
DO has told a wild tale of the Penn
sylvania hills. He told a story of a
Gargantuan touring car. painted red.
driven by a demon and occupied by a
giant. which traverses the State from
end to end at the speed Of an exp. cos
train.
He claims the birds and beasts up
there are SO sadly shocked from con-
tact with this cyclone-make- IN 1T. o
will never look the same again. He
says the squirrels are all baIC-heaGe-i
from lodging under rail fences: that
the chickens and geese are Sinking
about. immodestly stripped of all Out
their pin feathers; and that the farm
ers' dogs are all laid up with nerIou
prostration.
He states that when this earth
quaker and shaker taxes the road.
other vehicles begin to like fish,
ing smacks on a chOpp that Sc
date carriage horses az rIied Jer-
sey cows throw up 4 ont legs
and swoon, and that D. ~ pedes-
trians fall into the vacuum torn in
the atmosphere by this fire-breathing.
snorting red dragon.
Taken with a couple Of grains of
rough ''hash-house'' salt. this sounds
'sptshously Ike a description OF Sena-
tor Boies Penrose's infant hivver." 1t
will be a good car when II gets its
growth, but right now IL has TO tod
die along at 50 miles an hour. more or
less, tied securely to its nurses apron
string.
Walter Mancer Is chief nurse and
bottle-washer to this mechanical prod
ICY. He Is strong man. and firm. but
he says he has his hands full keeping
his ward within bounds. He has the
reputation Of being the best and high
est paid chauffeur in the United States
and when you see the chariot he drives
you decide that he must be the best
and that he ought to be the highest
paid, II he isn't. His Is no jelly-fish
job.
Car Is o Whopper.
The Senator's present car is VIM
ton Six. specially built. and is with
out doubt the largest touring car In
the world. 1t has a 14S-inch wheel
base. is 81 inches from the ground
TO the top of the radiator. and when
INT up - up sJdnuS Stt2 lnCleS ABOVE
worm. II is 10 inches longer than
the next largest car made. a Locomo-
bile. which has a li2-inch wheel base.
II has a Intersection wind shield.
where other cars carry one or two.
II Is supposed to be a seven-passenger
car. but that means the Senator and
six Of his Boies-size friends.
To understand this perfectly good
pun you need to be acquainted with
the Senator's Jove-like proportions
In fact he might be accurately term
ed the walking. or flying. embodiment
Of the three known dimensions
height. breadth, and thickness He Is
feet inches tail. and weighs 30
pounds.
Being a large. ample man himself.
he naturally chooses large. ample
friends. His political "buddies" are
all intellectually-no architeCturalIy
vast. SO. a car built to accommodate
seven such phenomena woud easiy
hold fourteen ordinary mortaIs.
Chauffeur Good Mechanic.
Senator Penrose had two chauffers
before he succeeded in enticing Mancer
away from a friend of his. but they
could not hold the car on the road
Mancer is a good chauffer because he
Is a good mechanic. He has been
eishteen years in the automobile busi-
ness The first six years he spent in