The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-05-23
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

I thought when the. war was over that the "eatfests" would stop for awhile, but have just passed through veritable orgy of breakfasts, suppers and dinners.
 am sure that good friend John Bur roughs, who breaches and lives the simple life. and who says that much dining out is not conducive to high thinking or correct living. would not approve of the way I have gorged my self in the past few days.
 Now, in spite of the fact that l was generally present where eating was going on in the interest of winning the war, and that I register very frequently where meals are being served to pro- mote civic enterprises, and can be seen on most occasions where dinner drives are being set for social clubs; yet, am no gourmand.
 can prove this by any other pro fessional" who during the past few years udS DttI SOHiPSiAVu NO S'N ''. the banquets, or other meals served at the Putwiler. the Hillman, the Civic as- sociation or the Southern club; but while I cannot classify as a gourmand, I can boast that by digestive powers are little short of miraculous, for ishment.
 
 Now, just for samples I will take three of the functions at which l put in jeopardy my stomach during the past few days The coming of the Kiwanis clubs from all over America meant round of dinners. They gave themselves one, then they rendered the Rotarians one, then the latter rendered the former one, and it was just one round of "eatsr
 Have you ever been to formal din- ner where every one present was dressed to kill and on their good be- havior, and the courses came in cold, and the service was rotten, and the I speeches dull, and every man and every
  | the suspense was so great that mur- der was liable to be committed? If so, then you will enjoy dinner of another sort about which I am going to tell. 1 It was the first Kiwanis dinner at the l Tutwiler. and it's worth quite a bit of space, for it differed from all the others ever pulled off in Birmingham. It was | set for 1 o'clock, but it was high noon I before Fred Shireman and his host of | trained workers got into action to con- vert the big lounge into dining room l Unless you have been going as have for years to banquets set for par | ties from a score to a thousand you 1 have no idea of the labor required tc arrangeethe tables; place the chairs, ar range the linen, put on the glasses 1 plates, saucers and other dishes; fix the butter platters and olive carriers; and l lay down the various kinds of knives l forks and spoons. It is some little job
 
 After all this is done and the table is set, then comes the seating of tht lguests, and when it becomes necessary as it frequently is to arrange the ta I bles in figures so that every one car
 hear the speakers, and little room i l left for passageway either for them ol the walters, it is some mix up, ant takes the finest kind of manouverins on the part of those who eat and those who serve to keep from getting in ont anothers' way. And the waiter alway'
 has the advantage as he can caressssl'
 drop a plate of hot soup down fel lows back and smother him with apolo gies without in any manner saving hi
 feelings or wiping out the greas!
 spot.
 had just come down from the con
 vention on the lookout for something o interest, and I spied my friend Sit
 Lee, some expert when it comes t. kcatering, for he has made fame 10 himself by the affairs he used to giv
 when he was trying to put Buffalo Roel
 on the market and had hundreds t
 visit his plant and eat barbecue witt
 him. I knew then that something ou
 of the ordinary was happening. peeke ] over from the mezzanine floor and say that nearly every member of the loca Kiwanis club had been commanders
 to get busy and help arrange the din ing room and then have part in serv
 ing the meal.
 When everything was ready, tn
 crowd began to pile in. Mercer Bar nett had asked me to sit next to tn
 speakers table, so I could hear tn } speeches I did so, but it was soon see
 that it was to be no cut and dried af
 fair. We Americans have talked muc
 about democracy, and some notabl
 dinners have been given. which wer
 supposed to be democratic, because Q
 the dollar plate limit, but take it fror |, me the one given on Tuesday was
 sure enough democratic affair.
 rights of the individual so that ever
 man may follow his own bent, then tn , Kiwanis feed was the last thing 1 2 simon pure democracy, for each one di 1, that thing which seemed best unt himself without let or hindrance. If an
 one desired to speak he spoke, if on one Wished-tp sing he sang, if any cn wished to parade he paraded It Wa
 every fellow for himself, and it wa by long odds the funniest dinner eve