The sun., 1919-02-23

orderly.
We have an orderly TO clean our bur.
rack room. And for Colonels inspection
on Saturday it certainly is so aggreSsively
clean, so Immediately protestingiy spick
and span that the sight would make any
Colonel, you'd think, suspicious of what
its state may he on-Thursday, let us say.
But he'd never be such poor sportsman
as to turn up then. No; the army is either
on parade or off. A colonel, has, it seems,
many of the attributes of our childhood's
God. The Sergeant Major stands to him
and us--very much as did our head
nurse. But he does not, thank goodness,
shake warning finger and exclaim:
"Children, whatever You are doing the
Colonel always sees!' So sometimes that
pathetic orderly can get the barrack room
clean and at other imes-well, at other
times of course It's Thursday.
The orderly is pathetic because the war
has recalled him TO barracks. guess him
TO have been an ostler in some omnibus
stables in civil life. A decaying trade, l
suppose, bat cheerfuller than this. As We
come in from parade he'll eye US as he
might his returning horses, though with
less favor Some of US, by the way, are
Sir to him and some are not. 1t is hard
for him to reconcile our anomalous cadet
hood with any one correct attitude. In the
old army etiquette was certain and settled.
But at US white banded what-d' ye-may-
eall-ums the privates OF the permanent
cadre wink pal-ishly. Y. c. O.'s may call
us rather aggressively by our names, by
our Christian names if they know them.
We observe, of course, a stony correctness
toward officers, who are as stOnily correct
in return. For the orderly these consid-
eratious are complicated by tips.
He gives limited hand to cleaning as,
too. We are more closely inspected by
long way than is the room; and-while
buttons ] can do, and boots / am fair
dab at, pipe-elay is for long a mystery to
me. Pipe-clay, properly so-called, is out
of date. There are selections of patent
things, penny tins of them, in the dry
canteen nowadays. | fancy some fine war
fortunes may have been made out of the
cleaning of soldiers buttons and belts
So when the dread word falls that one Of
us is for picket or for guard the helping
hand must be unlimited full hour. The
honor of the room will be involved in my
appearance for one thing. For another,
there's my chance Of getting off"
''But You won't get off, !" says the orderly.
NPicket never does. Give US your boots"
give him my boots and search for
clean cap band.
"a picket from number nine did once"
says the orderly. But the guard can't
have been up to much. And Fraser in
number nine, he's for guard tonight. He'll
have their kit"
One MIN too many, it must be explained,
is detailed FOR picket and guard, and on a
preliminary inspection the smartest gets
off. Much competition then in smartness,
and room number nine has furnished
itself, if you please, with special guard
kit. kept immaculate for these occasions.
"Ever;thlng," says the orderly, "boots
to gloves"
And 1umber nine boasts that you'll
never find man from that room on
guard.
The orderly does his best by me.
"Herc's a better belt than yours" he
says, but you might step up here after
first relief and put your own on. I'll
never get this the same again"
My left foot balks him.
Must have put some grease on it some
where he says. That's as bright as it'll
come. And look at the other, You'd bet
ter wear Mr.. Bullock's boots"
Wont he mind'" I ask.
HE wont mind" SAYS the orderly
leave that barrack room ike de-
butante TO her first ball. Woe betide me if
speck my specklessness or blur my shini-
=. r