The Mount Holly news., 1919-11-04
HIS JINx AT WORK
Traveller Felt II When He Saw
Those Whiskers.
But That Didn't Prevent Him "Fail.
ing" for Probably the Oldest "sucls-
or" Game in Existence, and
Then klckinn

"Nice day!" said the stout man as he
lowered himself on the seat beside me
In the day car with a parlor-car look.
Nice" / remarked Just to humor
him, although must say that always
try to avoid q man who wears whisk-
ers. This man was wearing a No. s
face fungus with ear flaps. I thought
at nrst OF asking him IL he had to take
out license for his face trimmings.
But, after all, I felt that he had kind
face-what I could see of it-behind
the shrubbery, as 1t were.
Are you commercial traveler?" he
asked, stroking his beard to starboard.
NO." replied, but I once had a
fourth cousin who did seven years in
jail for another offense. That was the
only member OF my family who stray
ed from the narrow path Of virtue"
Lucky for your he snapped out,
pushing his plantation in my face. "Its
dogs life. Everywhere you go peo-
pie talk about the peace"
"Ahl" interposed, "there is a peace
on, then1 thought I saw something
about it in the press"
Are you an Amerlcanf" he raped
out, getting nasty.
Yes" said. Are you? Or do you
live In Hoboken, N. J." felt I
would like to have struck a match and
started bush FIRE around the wooded
portion Of his face.
Il see you have some cuts on your
face" he remarked.
Eyes. Ny tonsorial artist illustrat-
ed me with some funny cuts"
"AhP he slipped In. "You should
shave yourself and yeu would never
have a face like that"
I should like to have told him that
his was no OF painting. Especially did
] hate his face mats. deteGt man
who tries to look venerable by wearing
face mats. when underneath he may
have the cAin Of q criminal.
DO you wear those germ traps on
purpOseT asked curiously.
"Them's camOufiage," he said. "Just
to show what people look like when
they don't shave. I travel for Raxro's
safety razors, $3.50 each, and seeing
you're nice sort Of boob / can do
you one for 81. Here is the last one
I have"
took 1t. II It had been a scythe
should have had a harvest with bis
beard.
Then fell to thinking OF his whisk-
ers again. They were the most vile
whiskers had ever seen. They stood
out at all angles from his face. /
couldn't make Hp my mind whether !
should like him better with or with
out them. But was quite prepared
to get lawn mower and try.
Seeing you are q good business
man." he went on, what about nice
pipe lighterf have really good line
at 25 cents each. Sorry haven't got
one with nae. but can send 1t on. New
er fails, and always lights a pipe or
cigarette. In fact, 1t is one Of Che best
pipe lighters ever invented. Just give
me rs cents and your address and /
will send it along"
OF course / fell. I handed him the
quarter and got cut at the next station.
Some days later a package arrived
at my villa. Here was the pipe lighter.
Breathlessly opened the package.
eager to see the contrivance. It was
Yes, match. gulped two mouthfuls
Of fresh air and threw my cigarette In
the porridge.
And that is why, when meet man
with a full set Of face mats, I always
say-(Oh no. you don't Not here,
at any Editor. .)-Walter Stuart
Narsden in Pennsylvania Grit.