Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-03
Life's Problems
Are Discussed

A few weeks ago a household was
plunged into sorrow. The wife, who
seems to have been the tie that held
the family together, died. And
thus, quite apart from the natural
sense of loss and bereavement, a diff
ficult and perpleXing situation was
created for those left behind.
So now a group of people, with
their relationships and half rela-
tionships and lack of relationship,
are gathered under one roof, and,
deprived of that tender, tactful hand
which formerly smoothed out their
disagreements and adjusted their
differences, are facing the question
what to do.
The son of the husband does not
appear to cut any marked figure in
the equation, and may, therefore, be
dismissed from consideration. 1t is
the oldest daughter of the mother
who writes me, signing herself
Doubtful" to state her problem
and ask me if l can shed any light
upon her quandary.
She is now a girl of nineteen, she
says, and consequently must have
been about half grown at the time
of her mothers second marriage.
But she and her Stepfather have
never been able to agree from the
first There has always been an
antipathy between them. One gath
ers that it was the mothers inhu-
ence alone that kept her at home,
and also that she herself is a strong
rather outspoken character. The
mothers death has left her prac-
| tically alone in the world; the only
persons to whom she is connected
by any ties of blood being her two
! little sisters and brothers.
Now the question that stares me
in the face" she writes, 'is, what
ought l to do under the circum-
stances? 1 am perfectly capable OF
taking care of myself, and were 1 to
follow my inclination, would un-
hesitatingly do so. But what about
my poor mothers children?
MY stepfather wants me to ster
into my mothers place and make a
home for him and them. If he were
my own father, l would not question
this solution for moment. But
the fact that he is no more than a
stranger to me, now that my mother
is gone, an da distasteful stranger al
that, puts a very different COM
pleXion on the matter. Would not
people be very apt to gossip about
me, living in the same house with a
| man who is in no way related to
me?
Yet on the other hand, if / go
away and allow things to take their
own course, it is almost inevitable
! that my stepfather will remarry, if
! only to secure a home for himself
and proper care for the children.
| Must they know the meanness of a
| stepmother, as l have had to know
J the meanness of a stepfather all
these years ?"
Let us take up the most unim-
! portant query first, and dismiss it in
a word. No one whose good opinion
is of the slightest Value-no one in
fact except the possessor of a pecu-
| lars depraved and vicious mind
would ever question for moment
your perfect right to assume the
charge and direction of your step
fathers home, as fully as if you
were his own blood daughter. 1t is
done every day without the least ad-
verse comment in hundreds of cases
where the justification is far less
than yours.
AT to the advisability of your do
ing so, l am not so certain. Re-
SOlNlHS IL uoWn 10 lHe stTlcI TERMS
of duty, there are two points to be
considered: first your duty to your
self; second, your duty to your lit
tie brothers and sisters. That you
owe a moral obligation toward these
motherless children to see that they
are properly brought up and cared
for is undeniable. No one can
probably do it as well as you, for
no one else will give them the same
tenderness and love.
Yet, you must remember that