davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
HAS TALE OF WOE
Uncle Joe Fell Among-Well, Say
Profiteers.
Charged $3.50 for One Of the Absolute
Neeessarles Of Life, He Has Re-
nouneed Yankees and All
Their Works.

anyone who has ever had the mad
denihg experience Of being stung,
stripped, robbed or mulcted of good
ly sum can and will sympathize with
Uncle Joe Howsley, a gentleman from
the Lone Star state, who came East
on little summer trip and fell among
thieves. as he views the matter. Uncle
Joe is an expert on watermelOns, know
Ing the fruit from stem to blow end
like book. He is also familiar with
watermelon etiquette, so his experience
proved shocking in more ways than
one. A writer in a Pittsburgh paper
tells the story as follows:
Uncle Joe owned a five-acre farm
down in Shackleford county, Texas,
until a few months ago. He then,
through the will Of benign fate and
the activities Of an oil company, ceased
being the owner of farm and became
an GILMAN with an income Of several
thousand perfectly good dollars a
month. AS a consequence. the wander
lust struck Uncle Joe and he accord
ingly hied himself northward to ex.
pioAC NOW he Is
going back to Gods country. glad, sub,
that the unfamillarity lasted for the
years 1t did.
Down In Uncle Joe's land the nee
tar known as the watermelon is fa-
vorite form of diet, and Uncle Joe is
one of the eplcures who when in his
part of the world partoOk of the treat
daily. Down there melon of size
that would tax mans strength to
tote, sub, could be purchased for five
cent piece. Or, If field was at hand
wherein grew the food Of the gods, the
taking thereof without the knowledge
of the fields owner was considered no
breach Of the law.
1t is not strange, therefore, that on
strolling about city to view its sights
when "Uncle Joe's" eyes fell upon a
restaurant in the window of which
were displayed numerous inviting red
and green melons, life took on an in
terest that it had not felt since his
train had passed over the boundary Of
the Grand Old State.
"Uncle Joe" hastened inside and
called for watermelon.
After what seemed much time, a
slice, which Uncle Joe" will testify
was not more than two by six inches,
was placed before him.
81 said Watermelon; not bite,
suh," he announced cuttingly, when his
amazement Mt the magnitude of the
thing before him had passed sufficient
ly to allow him to speak.
After much argument. he made the
bewildered waiter understand that
what he desired was a whole melon
like any gentleman Is served with down
where they know how to serve 1t.
"Uncle Joe" consumed the two halves
placed before him in blissful ignorance
of the outrage that was about to be
perpetrated upon him.
Then came the check!
Watermelon, S1.50, sub!
1t wasn't necessary to send In n riot
call, but for a time it looked as though
1t might be. AS 1t was, "Uncle Joe"
stamped from the den of thieves, VOW
ing vengeance against all Yankees in
general and one Yankee restaurant In
particular.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
SCHOOL NOTES
(By T. T. and D. W.)

Wy /. anu ~ W.
On December 5th, the most ex-
citing game of basket ball ever
seen in Central, was played at the
Armory hall between Idaho boys
and G. C. H. S. boys. The first
half ended with the score stand
ing we'll in favor of Central. Ida
no started we'll in the second half
but our boys soon tied the score.
From that time the score sea-
sawed until the second half end
ed with the score standing Is to
80. Three cheers for Central! In
the meantime the girls of G. G. H.
S. had defeated the Idaho team by
score of seven to four without
any particularly hard struggle on
our part, though we believe some
of the Idaho girls were pretty
we'll tired out at the finish. The
ball struck one of the girls on the
ear with such a force that the
"bawl" came out of her mouth.
However, she soon recovered, and
the ball suffered no injury.
Sis! Boom! Bah!
G. C. H. S. Rah! Rah! Rah
Some such noises as this fol-
lowed by others like it, greeted
the ears of the residents of Cen
trail on Sunday morning. 1t was
only Coach Laird with his famous
teams who had again defeated Id
aho in their "own hum town." re-
turning with their high honors.
The boys were victorious with the
score standing 30 to 20, while the
girls made even better record
than they did Friday nights to l..
Both teams wish to thank the
public for it's hearty support and
the part it took in making us vic
torious.
Everyone has been celebrating
the victories by blowing-blow-
ing-blowing-their noses. They
make more noise than horns you
know.
What a moment, what a doubt,
All my nose is inside out
All my thrilling tickling caustic,
Pyradmid rhinocerostic,
Wants to sneeze and cannot do
it!
How it yearns me, thrills me,
stings me
How with rapturous torment
wrings me!
Now say, "Sneeze you fool,-get
through it."
Shee-shee-oh! tits most del
ishi-
1shi-ishii-most del-ishi.
(Hang it, l shall sneeze till
springD
A cold is a delicious thing.
Congress assembled as usual,
Friday, December 5. After five
minutes of hard work, both hous-
es with mutual consent adjourn
ed
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
coftlns Rented In Mo.eow.

Unofficial advices to the state de-
partment state that practically all
stores In Moscow have been municipal
lied as a rule without compensation
to owners. Eggs nre quoted at II ru-
'bles and matches at four rubles box.
Individual coffins are reported TO be
no longer used, but are being rented
out. The mortality nte is very high.
with typhus. grip and eryslpelas being
especially prevalent and overcrowdlng
the hospitals.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Force Of Habit.

Clovertop-That old hoss you sold
me stopped right in front of the church
rs the bell struck one, and he never
moved till 1t struck two.
Cyrus Snodgrass-Oh, yes: forgot
to tell you he'd been in horse car
and that It took two strokes of the bell
to start him.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Somethinu.

The College Boy-Dad, l wish you'd
spare me hundred.
His Father-It's outrageous. You're
twenty and you've never made any
thing for yourself.
The College Boy-Beg pardon. sir,
but | always make my own cigarettes.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
EXPLAINING the ObIiaultx.

"How very cross-eyed Fred Bings
is getting?"
"ies; he's dead In love with old
Kicker's daughter, you know. and
when he calls on her he invariably
keeps one eye on the clock and the
other on the door of the old mans
ROOM"
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Taken for Beooar

a One day was walking through the
park and l stopped and asked a man
for the time. He put his hand in his
pocket and pulled out dime. That
certainly did make me feel like two
cents. looked at him and said Il
wanted the time, please. se."-Exchange,
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Nav Be So,

Miss Knowsltt-lie's very rich now,
but hear he started in life as II grave
digger.
Miss Kutting-I guess that's the rca-
son why the daughter is SO anxious to
have the past buried.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Need American Machinery.

There is n large demand In Greece
for marine engines Of from 80 to 200
horsepower. In the past much Of the
inter-island trade was carried on by
small sailing vessels, which were not
eQuIpped with auxiliary motors
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
How Mean Of Her.

Mr.. Shallowpate-Which do you
think counts for most in life-money
or brains?
Miss Caustique-1 see so many peo-
pie getting along with so little Of
either that It's hard to say.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Political Gossip,

81 spoke In favor of good roads,"
"And what did your opponent say
to that?"
"He Immediately spoke In favor of
better roads. That fellow is a shrewd.
dangerous man."
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
No Doubt Of That.

"Of course. you know that whisky
Is. poison?"
"Yes." replied Uncle Bill Bottletop {;
"any kind you can buy now is mighty
likely to be-"
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Relative Values.

1.-THE summer boarders will soon be
going home"
"rm glad Of IT," said Farmer Corn.
tossel. "I'm getttin' kind O. tired Of
givln' up all this precious food for
mere money"
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Then He Said Good Nlaht.

Mr.. Cholly Bore Q1 AS p. m.)-Don't
you know l could sit by your side for
ever.
Miss Cutting Hintz-Well. at the
present sitting 1t looks us though you
intended to.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Teachers Examinations

The regular county teachers
examinations will be held in the
county court house, Central City,
Colo, December 18, 19 and 20.
EDITH WILLIAMS,
County Supt. of Schools.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

Morris hams at Parteli's only
30 cents pound. The choicest
bacon on the market at 40 cents.
Gl Gloceries cheaper than elsewhere.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Holiday Variety.

First Writer-Ilow do you like this
tobacco?
Second Wr!.er-Awful. Smells like
you're smoking transfers.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

Vivian Martin in "Her Coun-
try First" in five reels and Ford
weekly will be the picture pro-
gram at the opera house Satur-
day, Dec. 18th.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

There will be a special meet
ing of the Altar and Rosary soci-
ETY. at the rectory Sunday, Dec.
18th, at 2:3O p. m. Important
business.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Runnlnn Mo Chances.

Wifey-You knew / had friends
coming to the house this evening.
What do you mean by coming home
an hour after they've all gone?
Hubby wanted to be sure they'd
all left.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

V. c. Herrin bought up a lot
of mining property at tax sale
this week as agent for L. Stern
berger.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

1t was awfully cold in Central
Monday and Monday evening.
When the editor retired Monday
evening Cat an early hour) it was
20 below.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

SOMETHING LEARNED EVERY
DAY.
Frank-Poor Jones! He has lost
all his money in a wildcat mining
company.
Ethel-Mercy! didn't know you
had to mine for wild cats.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
At Rehearsal.

"What ails the sailors chorus. pray?"
For there was quite hitch.
The manager replied: why. sir.
The tars can't get the pitch!''
Cartoons Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Poor Company.

Joax-YOu shouldn't Judge that mar
by the company that he keeps.
Hoax-Why?
Joax-He's the warden OF the peni
tentiafy.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
TACT OF WIVES.

Mrs. VA tactful wife keeps
many little household secrets from
her husband
Mrs. B.-Yes; even the fact that
she has all the brains.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

The Observer-$2.00 a year.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Very likelX.

Jinks-The paper states that Bl,son
died from complication OF diseases
Blinks-That's wrong. He died
from complication OF doctors. He
had six.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11
Epitaph.

Here lies a miser
Who would not repent:
He died lamenting
His breath must be spent.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

A cold is a delicious thing.
Congress assembled as usual,
Friday, December 5. After five
minutes of hard work, both hous-
es with mutual consent adjourn
ed.
Gilpin observer., 1919-12-11

tentiafy.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
You Do More Work.

You are more ambitious and you aet mora
enjoyment out of everything when your
blood Is in good condition. Impurities in
the blood have very depressing effect on
the system. causing weakness. laziness,
nervousness and sickness
GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
restores Energy and Vitality by Purifying
and Enrichine the Blood. When you feel
It's strengthening, invieoratine effect. SEQ
how 1t brings color to the cheeks and how
It improves the appetite, you will then
appreciate its true tonic value.
GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
Is not patent medicine. it Is simply
IRON and QUININE suspended in Syrup.
so pleasant even children like It. The
blood needs Quinine to Purifyit and IRON
to Enrich 1t. These reliable tonic prop
critics never fail to drive out impurities in
the blood.
The Strength Creating Power of GROVES
TASTELESS Chill TONIC has made it
the favorite tonic in thousands OF homes.
More than thirty-fve years ago. folks
would ride long distance to get GROVES
TASTELESS Chill TONIC when a
member Of their family had Malaria or
needed bodybuilding. strength giving
tonic. The formula is just the same to-
day. and you can got it from any drug
store. 60c per bottle.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
3, 600 Are Arrested.

Vienna. July 1i.-Three thousand
Galician Jews have been arrested in
the streets Of Budapest, according to
adv!ces received here.
Sea Eun. head OF the Hungarian
Soviet government. replying to Pol
ish protest against the arrests, de-
clared convict pogroms are bound to
come here, but we don't want Hun
garian Jews to suffer for the acts
of the Galician Jewish spectators,
who infest this country. Also we
their persons.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
Dragged to Death by Mule.
(Anderson Mail, 17th)

Elgn Bryant, the 15-year-old son
Of Peter Bryant, well-known
farmer living two miles from Easley,
WAS almost instantly killed Tuesday
afternoon when he was dragged a
few hundred yards by a frightened
mule which he had been working
with Il plow.
Young Bryant was. on his way
home from the field and tried to
Jump On the mules back. The ami
NAL was young and spirited. u
became frightened when Bryant
missed the try to mount him aid
dashed off towards the gin hoe
located on Mr.. Bryant's property.
liter running through the frame
part Of the structure he swung
around towards the house, where the
young mans head crashed against
one Of the supporting pillars When
assistance reached young Bryant at
the stable he was dead.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
Harris Heads Georgia Division.

Macon, Ga, July 15.-Walter A.
Harris, Of Macon, formerly brigadier
general in the Dixie division, was
unanimously elected chairman of the
Georgia division OF the American
Legion at the afternoon session here
to-day. w. II. Beck, of Griffin was
elected vice chairman; Baxter Jones.
Of Macon, secretary, and j. G. Bank
ston, Atlanta, treasurer.
Resolutions demanding of Con-
gress the immediate deportation of
all aliens who withdrew their pre-
iminary application papers at the
beginning Of the war and evaded
military service, and condemning the
wearing of service badges not author
lied by the War Department., were
passed.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
SAYS NIURDERERs HANGED.
Mexican Government on Job, states
Ambassador BOnillas.

Washington, July 14.-Murderers
OF number Of American citizens in
Mexico have been apprehended and
executed by the Mexican government,
which through expenditure of two
thirds Of the republics revenues in
the work Of pacification, is slowly re-
storing order, it was said to-day by
ignacio Ronillas, Mexican ambassa-
dor to the United States, who has
just returned to Washingto after
months visit at Mexico City.
The statement by the ambassador
was the first announcement Of any
Mexican official Of authority that any
of the perpetrators Of the murders
of American citizens had been dealt
with. The ambassador added that
bandits and rebels in all parts of
the country were returning to their
homes to till the land. To aid in
thia movement, he said, the govern
ment was distributing agricultural
implements.
Mexicos first duty, the ambassa-
dor asserted, was to put down in
surrcction and for that reason large
sums Of money were being spent in
pacification. This work, he said, was
slow, largely because the government
could not get sufficient arms and am
munition. He announced that he
would request the United States
government to permit the importa-
ton Of more munitions to be used
in wiping out rebels and bandits and
in protecting the lives Of nationals
and foreigners alike. When the paci-
fication Of Mexico had been accomp-
lished. he said. the revenue now de-
voted to this end would be used
toward paying off the interest on the
foreign debt
Mexico has never, and never will
repudiate her debts" he said. "She
should not be expected now to COM
ply with her international obligations
when her first duty is pacification of
the country. Mexico has no fear at
all of any unjust aggressions from
It's neighbors. She hopes they will
appreciate the efforts she Is making
to set her house in order"
BY the exclusion of Mexico from
the league Of nations, he said, the
Mexican people felt they had been
very unjustly dealt with, but har-
bored no i'll will Mexico hopes, he
said. the time will come when she
will be invited to join the league.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
NOTICE OF FINAL SETTLEMENT
AND DISCHARGE.

Notice Is hereby given that the un-
dersigned will make application to
v. F. Martin, Judge OF Probate, for
OcOnee County, in the State Of South
Carolina, at his office at Walhalla
Court House, on THURSDAY, July
31st, 1919, or as soon there
after as said application can be
heard, for leave to make fnal settle
ment Of the Estate of James Har-
kins, Deceased, and obtain final dis
charge as Administrator Of said Es-
tate. j. d. HARKINS,
Administrator of the Estate of James
Harkins, Deceased.
July Q, 1919. 27-30
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
SUPERIORITY PROVEN
BY RELIEF TT GAVE
Mrs. Sullivan Says Tanlac Gave Her
Quicker Relief Than Any Other.
Grccnvillc Woman Says For Years
She Never Felt Well, But Tanlnc
Gayc Her Health

"Of all the medicines | have taken
for those tro.bles | had, Tanlac
proved the best and gave me the
quickest relief" declared Mrs. jamie
Sullivan. Of No. Is Vance ST., Green
vile, S c., in statement she gave
IN Endorsement Of Tanlac. Il had
suffered from indigestion for years
when | began taking Tanlac, and
with the digestion | had had nervous
attacks. would get so short of
breath that would pant for hours,
just like a person who had been
running. | had to be very careful
Of what | ate, for everything. ate
hurt me. nearly always had head
aches and never did feel really well
"The Tanlac quickly ended that
shortness Of breath, though, and my
stomach soon was built up, regulated
and strengthened, SO l ate heartily
and was not troubled with indiges-
ton. Those headaches left me and
my whole system was regulated and
strengthened generally. | am glad
to recommend Tanlac."
Tanlac, the master medicine, is
sold exclusively by Bells Drug Store.
alfalfa; j. G. Cain, Oakway; Sa-
lem Drug Co., Salem Seneca Phar-
macy, Seneca; Stonecypher Drug
Co., Westminster; Hughs & Dendy,
l3ichland.-adv.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
HARPER SUCCEEDS LAWRENCE.
Acting Postmaster ut Seneca, But
Not Yet Confirmed.
(Farm and Factory, 17th.)

(farm ana FACTORY, 17th.)
Ben Harper is now in charge Of
affairs at the Seneca postoffice,
though his appointment has not yet
been confirmed in the Senate.
J. T. Lawrence resigned some time
ago and asked that his successor be
named by July Is. Mr.. Harper was
recommended for the position by
Congressman Dominick. but owing
to the absence of the President from
Washington and the fact that he has
had important matters before him
since his return, the appointment
has not been acted upon, and will
not be for several days yet.
Mr.. Lawrence the first of the week
wired to the department for instruc-
tions, and Tuesday afternoon he re-
ceived orders to turn the Office over
to MIR. Harper. It Is taken for
granted that Mr.. Harper's nominate
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23

will be confirmed by the Senate.
Mr.. Lawrence goes to Greenwood
where he has accepted lucrative
position.
Bub Kay, assistant postmaster and
letter carrier, also resigned his posi-
tion, effective July Is. Acting post
stead Red" Dalton, who resides
near Seneca. Mr.. Dalton entered
upon his duties Wednesday morning.
Mr.. McMahan is filling Mr.. Harper's
old position as rural carrier OF Route
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
NEWI}BRItI MAN is KILLED.
Slain by "Cap" Settler, Recently
discharged Negro Soldier.

Newberry, July 15.-The first
homicide in Newberry county for a
long time occurred last night about
10 o'clock. about four miles from
Pomaria and II miles from New
berry, on the public highway, when
Robert Wicker. aged 35 years, was
killed In the public road, quarter
OF mile from his residence, with a
pistol in the hands of a negro named
Clarance Cor "Cap') Settler. With
him at the time Of the killing was
another negro, Manuel Settler, his
uncle, who it is said, fired one shot
at Mr.. Wicker with a shot gun, but
missed him. Clarance Settler fired
four times with pistol, only one
shot taking effect. That struck
Wicker In the side toward the back
as he was scrambling up bank,
trying to get out Of the way.
Sheriff Blease was notified of the
shooting four hours after it took
place. With Deputy Sheriff Dorroh,
he left Immediately in his automo-
bile for the scene. He found Manuel
Settler at home in bed, but could
not find Clarance Settler anywhere
last night or to-day, though he and
the deputy and the rural policeman,
MI Taylor, and Magistrate Beden-
baugh and Ruff searched diligently,
securing every nook and corner of
that part Of the county.
The Sheriff has sent out by wire
and telephone a description Of the
fugitive, and hopes that he will be
picked up somewhere in attempting
to escape. He is described as coal
black, five feet eight inches high,
low and chunky and bow legged,
bumpy face, two gold front teeth in
upper jaw; had on blue overall sack.
black pants, black shoes and soldiers
hat. and IS 25 years old; recently dis
charged from the army.
Manuel Settler was brought TO
Jail early this morning. He denies
that he or the other negro shot at
'lr. Wicker or had any trouble with
him; says he and Clearance were Just
shooting across the road, not know
ing that anybody was near.
There seems to be good deal of
mystery about the cause Of the trou-
bic. The officers say they could not
find out what it was about Mr..
Wicker was unmarried and lived with
his sister, the widow Of the late Dr..
Dickert.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
Thrift Seeks the Best.

Thrift does not mean miserly
boarding. 1T means discriminating
and studied expenditure in the ra-
tional qualification Of wants. It does
not mean purchasing only cheap
things--indecd. the thrifty man
usually buys only the best. The
thrifty man. however, studies his
wants: he rules out the tawdry and
the superfluous. and he purchases
those things that contribute to his
permanent efficiency or that aid his
future development
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
THE CHAPLIN BABY DEAD.
Chaplfns Mourn Loss of Heir to
Throne of Filmdom,

Los Angeles. Cal, July 17.-While
thousands Of motion picture fans
throughout the world Friday were
laughing at his film antics, Charlie
Chaplin rode beside little white
casket to the cemetery here and saw
his baby boy laid to rest.
While hundreds OF thousands ali,
over the United States saw Charlie. "
as If in real life. doing the antics
that have made him king of laugh
ter few saw him at his beautiful
home here in Hollywood late Fri
day locking the door Of the nursery
he h2d fitted for Charles, Jr.,"
and simultaneously locking his own
dreams OF days when he could teach
the lad some new steps, ...
For weeks Chaplin has thought Of
little else but the babe that was soon
to be his. From the moment little
Charlie" arrived the comedian re-
mained at the hospital, first with
all the proud Joy Of every father over
his first born son. and then hoping
against hope that the doctors were
wrong and that the youngster would
live.
1t WAS not until the wee heir to
the throne Of filmdom died that
Charlie gave up.
What now?" the studios are won-
dering. "Will he make the world
laugh on with heavy heart-like
Harry Lauder and others of the fun
makers of the day? Or will he leave
the film lights?"
His friends believe it will he many.
days before Chaplin will turn out
his tricks again.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1919-07-23
NOTICE TO DEBTORS AND
CT. EDITORS.

All persons indebted to the estate
OF C. NJ. BYRD, Deceased, are
hereby notified to make payment
to the undersigned, and all per-
sons having claims against said es-
tate will present the same, duly at
tested, within tho time prescribed by
law or be barred.
j. w. BYRD,
Administrator Of the Estate of G. M.
Byrd, Deceased.
July Q, 1919. 27-30