South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-05-18
POTASH and PERLMUTTER By a Montague 74 s
the boz
Discuss The First Day of May s5eS.s
By Montague
Glass

come tax which he has been paying
for the past four or FIVE years, Abe, ,"
Morris said.
That's only once year. Nav
russ" Ape said. "but these here
May 1st taxes is going TO keep him
awake three hundred and siXty-hve
days out OF the year. People which
thought you was a tightwad II you
happened 20 mention that six hun
dred million dollars OF the country
money was used up in experiment
ing with aerOplanes. is now going 10
shrek in agony every time they buy
a three dollar and a quarter shirt
that it's a shame and q disgrace the
way every little secretary IN the
Presidents cabinet is galliyanting
half over Europe on the peoples
money. and they'd probably beef
Just as hard If the shirt only cost
S2.25 excepting that the luxury tax
Of ten per cent is only collected
from the purchasers of mems shirts
Of the value OF three dollars and
upwards on amounts in excess of
three dollars each. Also, Mawruss,
people which has Just paid eight
dollars for a bath-robe on which the
tax would be ten per cent OF fifty
cents or FIVE cents cash. Y under
stand. is going 10 say, Couldn't that
felle- travel 10 and from Europe in
one stateroom the same like any
body else? Must he got TO have a
whole steambo at2' and they will
start right n 10 estimate that the
cost of keeping a steamboat the
size Of Re George Washington in
commission is s45.622.3S per diem
and is it any wonder you've got to
pay a one cent tax on every orange
phosphate, understand me"
Some people is willing TO get in
a knock at Mr. Wilson without even
so much as an orange phosphate
tax for an excuse, Abe" Morris said
significantly.
Il know they are" Morris re-
piled innocently, land as for Post
master General Burleson, seeming
ly he couldn't suit nobody no mat
ter what he does. Take for in
stance them fourteen bombs which
! was mailed in New York the other
day. Mawruss. and IL IL wouldn't be
that Postmaster General Burleson
has given strict orders that no mail
should be forwarded which was
short even a half a cent postage
81, So, hoF
cry one OF them fourteen bombs
would have been delivered and ex-
ploded by now. But suppose that
instead Of Postmaster General Bur
Lesson we would have had as Post
master General some good natured
Teller which when his New York
representative called him up and
told him they were holding four
teen packages there for additional
postage, would have said: oh.
let 'em go. We couldn't afford to
be small about a little thing like
additional postage And what would
have happened? Why. the fourteen
judges. mayors and assorted sena-
tors and district attorneys TO which
them packages was addressed
would have been lucky if they es-
capped with nothing worse than
singed eyebrows, Mawruss. And to-
day yet. Mawruss, them fellers
which has got only Postmaster Cen
eral Burleson to thank that they
can still rifle a desk Of cards, un-
derstand me. is probably going
around beefing about the terrible
delay in the delivery Of mail under
the administration Of Postmaster
General Burleson."
"And do you think that the DO
lice Will ever find out who sent
them bombs. Abe?" Morris asked
Probably not" Abe replied, but
they will probably find some man
or men who would have liked TO
have sent them and would have
been glad TO have sent them. and
as nobody is going 10 miss such fell
lers. Mawruss. il probably won't
make much difference in the long
run il any such case Of mistaken
identity amt discovered until the