The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-01-09

: mare and Jobs turkey replied John
4 ny.
"Vat's der news from der front
! asked one Berlin citizen of another
Zach! Der news ISIS dot der frondt il
/ now we're dere rear vas" replied thu
I second dolefully,
A returned soldier, when asked il
they had music at the training camp
replied, eyes, the band played a
funeral march at the hospital every
morning while | was there with the
flu"
Old Bill Misgivens is not particu-
larly interested as to the other details
of the regal dinner in honor Of Presi7
dent Wilson at Buckingham Palace in
England, but he would like to know
what they had to drink.
q q e
A California woman when accosted
| by an officer and told she would have
to put on a flu mask, protested by as
sorting that she would just as soon
appear on the street wearing a fig
leaf.
A little town in California went EN-
nett one better. 1t not only hauled
the kaiser's effigy through the streets
on a manure spreader, but had the
outfit placarded, "B. S." which prob
ably stood for Berlin Special"
People were aghast few days ago
when an Emmett man appeared on the
streets wearing a brand new hat, He
had always worn white hat and when
he went home under the gay new head
piece his own dog chased him from the
place.
swell, Auntie," asked her young
master, do you really believe in the
Bible?" Eyes, sab, cherry word" "Do
you belive that the whale swallowed
Jonah ?" eyes, sab | believe it cause
The Bible says so. Pm gwine tub ask
Jonah bout dat jes as soon as gets
10 hebben." >"But suppose Jonah isn't
here" "Den, honey, you ken ask
him."
The world owes you nothing unless
" your own achievements you have
made it your debtor. The man who
magines that the world owes him a
wing has taken the first step toward
lsvery; the second step is taken when
e tries to collect the debt which is
ot due him. The greater his success
n this, the greater he is, il ne takes
ut of the world more than he has
ut into it.-Lyman Abbott. d
Little Alice always said her prayers il
egulary before going to bed One u
light, however, as she rested her head
n the pillow, she remarked, in ques- m
oning way. Mamma, my prayers
re so much longer than the one nurse
lys in the morning. Can't | say hers
hen I'm tired?" "Does the nurse
ray in the morning." asked the mo.
Ter with puzzled look. "Yes," said
lice sweetly. "She says, Lord. have ! nj
1t to get up? Z"
On An autumn evening group of
innesota farmers sat around the
re in the general store and COM
aimed of the potato bugs ravages.
he pests ate my whole potato crop
two weeks" said one farmer
hey ate my crop in two days." said
second farmer, "and then they roost- ur
the trees to see if I'd plant more" sn
traveller for a seed house cleared his pa
rroat. Scents" he said, call that's tel
ny remarkable Let me tell you tho he
lat | saw in our own store. | saw a TIL
uple of potato bugs examining the pr
oks about a week before planting thu
ne to see who had bought seed" 30
4 q q a
A man, who shutters except when VIII
king speech or talking over the thi
one, had occasion to call up client, wo
iting in Los Angeles, on matter of ers
portance. After the long distance sta
lnection had been made, the man in the
S Angeles shouted through the sou
one: "Who is it?" "This is John in
les,' answered the man. "No, it arc
t John JONES' snapped the man in wa
5 Angeles. Eyes, this is John We
les, tell you; why should you VIII
lbt it," "Why, John Jones slut up
$" what! Do you think am go lin,
to stutter at 81 word" the man sta
orted, as he banged down the re- Bile,
yer in disgust. got
. . . and
clever young lawyer was defend the
a man accused Of HOUSEKEEPING. slac