The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-02-06
THE DAILY
SHORT STORY
DANDY Girl.
nv r Ran eAKER.l
copyrieht: ,sis, s. the McClne News.

(py r. RAY BAKERY
Copyright. 1918, by the McClue News
paper Syndicate.l
THE Mutual Consolation Club was
In session. The members, four In
: number were detected.
Matte Melyoude was the reason Tor
the Mural Consolation Club. Matte
was the candy girl" Of ALLOWABLE. and
the most sought swimmer in the matri-
monial sea She was the candy girl
n two respects. She was declared to
be the sweetest and the neatest, but
also the most elusive belle that ever
wrung the heart Of man.
Her abode was on Turnip Hill, but
Matte spent little time there. She was
hot q social idler. She believed in
work and she did 1t before a. high desk
and a porportionately high stool in tho
business office OF the Bon Ton Candy
Factory.
Matte had rejected the four most
desirable young men In the village.
They were desirable by their own
admission. and they had bank books to
prove it. The bank book. however had
proved OF GO more avail in the wooing
Of Matte than so much waste paper.
Each member OF the club had spent
money like sand In the desert in his
campaign to make Matte his wife. She
accepted all the attentions until they
wearied her, and then she clamly and
scornfully rejected the quartet Of adj
mirers. The collective reflections was
as follows:
You 90 about trying to win . girls
affections Just as Q boilermaker would
operates q typewriter. Think I'd marry
man with no moro initiative than
you? ] should say not emphatically. I
want q husband who gets an idea now
and then. The fellow who thinks up
something new IN the way Of counting
. girl Is the on that catches me. See?"
Then Mutual Consolation Club
came into being. Each Of the four dis.
covered simultaneously that the others
were altar the fair Matte. I. hap
peped that they came together jNst
outside tie Melvoude residence at the
top OF .Turnip Hill.
Tom Grayson was pAering over q
long box cf roses, Fred Hooper was
Juggling a chatting dish he hal procure
ed from Chicago mail order house,
Sam UpkiEs puffed under the weight
Of q table lamp, while Albert Terry
looked sheepis hbecause all he had 20
offer to he god OF love was tickets
to the county fair and they didn't make
much OF showing In his vest pocket.
They compared notes ami were
about to draw lots or nip a cciu 10
decide which Of them should have the
honor Of keeping his engagement ior
the evening with the ideal Of their
hearts when the idol in question ap-
peared on the porch and delivered the
oxtemporaneons address quoted above
Thereupon the brideseekers adlourn-
ed to the insurance office of Sam
Upkins, at the foot Of Turnip Hill, and:
the roses we're put to reoose IN the
garbage can, while the chatting dish
came into use Asfan ash tfay3 the lamp,
fulfilled Its mission by dispelling the
gloom which was fast gathering IN the
office and in their breasts, and the fair
tickets we're utilized to carry fire from
the one match which the quartet poss.
essed to the cigars which furnished
the ashes that were deposited in the
chatting dish.
By Mutual consent each Of the four
desirables detailed his Journey salong
the brink OF matrimony In quest Of q
place to plunge in. Each had under
gone the same experience, invested in
the same presents for the elusive Mat
tie and met the same rebuffs.
Under the self-constltuted presi-
dency OF Mr.. Terry the club thereup.
on took upon itself the task Of dis.
covering keypto the paddock on
Matte Melyoude's heart.
She wants some one who has in
ventiye genius-some one who has an
idea. said Mr.. Terry, addressing his
fellow members. "Thereupon, It be-
moves us to collaborate and find some
novel way to her affections. When wa
nave come upon scheme that looks
feasible We will hold lottery and
the lucky man will be allowed to trv.
without interference fro mthe rest. 10
win the prize on Turnip Hill. II tho
scheme fails, we will try another, using
the lotte.y again. In that way none Of
Us viii encroach on the preserve Of
the other, and one Of us ought to make
our dream Of happiness come true.
Observation-Disclosures.
The club adjourned to the next day.
when each Of The members was 10 sub
NIT his plan for the capitulation of
Matte Melvoude.
"a n