davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
On as Any Woman THmketh of Husbands

quote" when she wants 10 impress
her club
II only as an instrument or self
discipline,
To remind her that she IS getting
fat. -
or that her hats are too youn-
or that she is becoming Careless
about her shoes. or her finger nails
or the buttons on her gloves, or tho
Fit OF her stays,
And to prevent her from EVE;
feeling vain or self satisfied
II only TO help her 10 cultivate
patience,
And forbearance, and self-sacri-
flee, and seIf-control, and tact
And all the other noblN virtues OF
Accommodation
II only for something 20 worrF
about, and fuss over, and codcle. and
mother" and reform,
II only for somebody to hunt up
things for her 20 do,
And finally.
If only for something 20 distract
her mind from SERIOUS matters.
And take It off the peace treaty.
the League OF Nations. the strikes.
and the Russian revolution.
And keep II on ham and eggs and
darning needless
or course.
Every woman needs a husband,
And, for reasons which sound
just as inconseQuential.
And are quite as VITAL.
Every man needs a wife.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

OF course.
It's awfully nice 10 be modern"
and independent, am self-sufficient
and all that,
But. accept II from Me.
EVERY woman needs a husband,
If only to give the house a home
II only for somebody 10 come
home, after the housework IS all
done
And tell her how It OUGHT to
have been done.
If only, for something besides the
clock, to make a noise around the
place,
If only as a certificate Of respec-
liability in the community and a dec
grafton for her table at dinner
parties.
Like the engraved silver and cen
terpiece.
If only for somebody TO stay at
home and keep her mind at rest,
while she goes to church and Guilt
Yates the spiritual life, for the fam
lily.
II only DIS d DOBic Win nlAiCA ~
threaten the maid and keep the but
ldr in his place.
II only as the outward Sign OF a
real tip. with which to impress wait
ers and bell boys.
If only for somebody to play
Santa Claus TO the children, and
carve the turkey.
II only for somebody to brag
about TO the neighbors, and TO
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

redundant, irrevelant and OF no IT,
feet
But there may be some who
might deny their classification as of
the garden variety Of folks. Such
would, Of course, remove them
selves from the contest and in that
case there would be greater chance
for those girls OF good conduct who
would not dispute the grouping.
But who is to pick the winner L?
There is a lack of information on
that subject The mayor OF the
city is reported TO have sidestepped
the Job, possibly because he wished
to remain a citizen OF the city.
Picking the prettiest baby in an
infant show has been demonstrated
to be attended with perils. but that
Job would be easy in comparison
with making just reward in the
instance cited and facing the re-
sentiment Of the losers.
That Italian must have had a
grudge against Providence and
made his bequest with malice de-
signed to promote turmoil.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

thee. For thou art no different
from other damsels whom I ha,
FANCIED that I loved. before the.
Thy nose turneth up at the en-
and is powdered.
Thou walkest upon stilt-li.e
heels and chatterest With a ls-
Thou hast a hundred little fads ar
foibles and follies OF which Z must
try 70 BREAK thee, when NC -
married.
IF thou knewest 20 how man
women I have sworn eternal love
thou wouldst cast me- OF forever
II thou kneFest how many have
tried to catch me. and have fala6
thou wouldst marvel az thine own
success-even as Go.
10. 7 know not how 7 shall de-
tach myself from all those damsels
20 whom I am already more or les
attached, know not how I shal
endure 10 part from my clubs and
my pals. and my freedom 7 know
not how I shall endure comine
home TO dinner, every day,
II only know. that however mis-
cradle I may be with thee shal
be more miserable without thee
And while there have been manl
damsels with whom 7 thought ]
could be happy thou art the frs
without whom I could not BE-
happy,
Yea. peradventure. marriage VIII
be good for me- and VIII settle
me-
Therefore. have thy willard
marry me-
For It IS written. And what man
shall escape Karma o"
But would the damsel have mar
ried him?
Nay. verify,
Selah.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

United States in acting on the
peace treaty as an excuse for pro-
posing that the allies drop the de-
mand for the surrender of those
wanted for trial would not have
been made. so 1imsy is the pre-
text That those who fear punish
ment are powerful enough to COM
pei a government supposedly mimi
cal to them TO speak in their be
half goes far 10 show that the
change in government is in form
rather than in essential principle.
There have been other evidences
that the junkers were not entirely
down and out. but hitherto the gov
eminent heads have maintained an
apparent aloofness from such move
ments.
How the allies would put these
men on trial under law II they had
them has not been made clear.
Perhaps they would not be tried at
all. but that is not the point That
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
PROFITEER PROPAGANDA AND ITS
RED FLACED GOAT"

ATS of TO Sen Capper OF Kansas and he's
RI republican too. His speech in the senate
Friday touched keynote that the coun
try has needed hear for months There is a
boishevik movement in this country. yes; the L. W
VS. and reds must be suppressed sure: but we
have said it before and Sen. Cappcr now gives it
official currency. that too much of this railing at
he bolshevists the l. w. w and the reds IS the
product OF propaganda invented 10y profteers to de-
tract attention from themselves and by casting
cloud every labor movement intent upon enab-
ling the workinsman 10 keep in sight OF his living
costs shunt the public mind away from real exist
ing conditions
The congress needs more men ike Sen Capper:
needs them in both houses. and We guess on both
sides OF both houses-meu who not afraid OF
he old-piated Goodness that making fertile
held Of America, through its pronteering cussed-
for bo1shevsn J. w w--isu7 anarchy.
STOW in. ATTY. Gen. palmer has been begging for
months for legislation 70 enable him with
he prohteers but instead OF the legislation asked
he has been met almost every by the intro
duction Of some new bill attacking red-fagisms
the suppression OF sovletisnl. all that sort OF
thing until the total supply Of those bills in con-
gress number AZ
A congress trained FOR business-that u.s. the peo-
pies business-would have passed all the legisla-
lion needed 10y the attorney general 10 deal with
the proHteer and the red-AaE artists both and have
passed il long ago. but il has done neither. Il IS
not surprising that Of sen. Capper's red
blood" should have finally boiled over throwing
some cold. unpleasant facts. into the teeth OF his
senatorial associates The bolshevist is bad enough
without his being made the goat for anybody
else. and particularly. ne should not be insuted by
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
Our Uneasy Times Haze PreCedentS

different in the ultimate end sought
from the doctrines taught by the
modern bolshevists. For two or
of the Jacobin brand continued and
so completely did the democratic"
thought rule among the disciples OF
the French revolutionary theory that
even the title OF Mr. was dropped as
smacking Of class distinction. Cit
zen" Genet. who came here as en-
voy and representative OF what was
most violent in the principles OF the
dethroners Of royalty. was loudly &C
claimed by the people.
Only the firm hand and cool head
OF washington and few OF his ad-
visors prevented steps that would
have embroiled the new nation in the
general conflict abroad and possibly
have wrought its destruction. Il was
a time when Il was thought the
rights OF men" would be best serv-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

IN view OF the disposition toward
unrest and the manifestations Of op-
position TO governmental authority
: survey Of the situation in the light
only OF individual experience might
cause one TO arrive at the conclusion
that these times have had no coun-
terpart and that our plight is some
thing new in the annals OF the ma
ton.
Yet but a slight perusal CT history
would soon convince the reader that
more than once have there been pc
RODS when the people appeared 20
be in the mood for trouble and ready
20 set az defiance any authority
which appeared 10 interfere with
their personal wishes.
The time OF the French revolution
in Washington's second administra-
ton was one and II was not greatly
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
Echoes of the Velvet Hammer

Frank Blair. campaign treasurer
for Truman II. Newberry. Michi-
gan's election bought senator, when
indicted by the federal grand jury
Is said to have remarked that he
would rather go TO jail any time
than for the senator to 20. Again,
we anticipate, the senator and his
campaign treasurer are IN perfect
accord. Nevberry won't care how
many other people go 20 jail as long
as ne escapes; that is. on yes, he'd
care, but then ne would rather they
would go than him
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

ed by acting crafty. But even that
period was outlived. 1t could not
continue because It was founded on
passion and prejudice and not on
reason and judgment.
That they had reds" OF a sort as
early as 1876 is revealed in an old
chronicle that records that 'one Ar
thur Themes was mobbed and NAL
treated and chased 70 his home for
saying congress be damned The
same record notes that seven Phila-
delphia merchants who refused 20
accept the continental currency were
proclaimed enemies OF the colonies
and that tory who spoke profane-
~ from congress was rushed TO Jail
10 save him from the mob. Thus
1t may be discerned that this age is
not the only one that has had prob
lens OF unrest and a disposition 10
disorder.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14


My daughter. ask me not why =
man regRleth his beloved with
'-nevers." and "forevers" and bsalti-
full lies.
For. verify. his reason is more OBJ
vious than a debutante's shoulder,
and simpler than last sl1znm err 5
bathing suit
10, he saith:
Beloved. shall love thes forever
and ever,
Never before. have I really loved
never before have I felt just Ike
THIS about any womanl
Alas. l confess that am not pers
feet: my past hath not been lily
white, yet, II thou wilt only marry
me, shall be a different mani
Never again. shall follies and
temptations attract me!
Never again, shall I hear tho call
OF the wild time,
Never again, shall even THINK
OF another woman
For thou art al that my heart
desireth-even the perfect woman.
whom have sought, And, all the
days OF my life. do ! pledge myself
10 do everything on earth to make
thee happy"
And the damsel MARRYDTH him
and is content
Yet. II ne had spoken the truth,
would he not have said
Alas, alas, know not what hath
stricken me!
For, verify, thou hast got me
going, and I am powerless 10 stop
myself Ny viii and my WON'T,
they have deserted me-and there
IS no fight left IN me-
Behold, I know not why 7 love
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
Fuel dictator" Ga1tieIdS Pretty Peezv

being burdened with the sins OF his American
runner-the profteer that paves his way
Sen. Kenyon said. completing his investigation OF
the steel strike. that the big need OF the hour is
the Amercanzation OF the foreigner" 20 which
Sen Capper adds yes and to that end let Us
begin by Americanzing the American that the
foreigner may have him for a At example"
Gradually. getting down to brass
tacks on this Americanization and IL C. OF I. bust
ness-and thing somebody la
BILE 70 spill some beans
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
A COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS.

beautiful community Christmas is be
erected in the Grand Central Crystal palace in New
York The idea OF It is practical for any community.
The various wOmen's organizations of New York
have each taken a branch OF the tree which they
are 10 furnish with gifts. No gift 10
quarter in price Ten-cent gifts preferred. Tic
kets quarter apiece be sold charitably
disposed people and they in turn are expected 10
give these tickets to deserving Each ticket
Will admit woman and two children 70 the Christ
a whole day. Lunches be
served Boy and girl scouts will have booths for the
entertainment OF the visitors VIII other welfare
organizations The sale OF the tickets prac
tical,y. that those who deserving will receive
the benefits intended for them, and will prevent IN
Que crowding. The is be maintained for
week.
Any who thinks the Christmas spirit is gone
from the world should start some such movement
and then watch the results
a great deal OF food Is being mailed now from
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Good morning Have you renewed
your intestinal gland ?"
Never mind, Gland or no gland.
II you can feel bells tinkle in your
pulses, stars twinkle in your
eyes. and all life blossom into
Christmas tree, full Of dreams, IL
lusions, and glittering possibilities. at
this magic season, you are still young
with the eternal youth OF the
gods
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The atmosphere is surcharged
these days with trouble. Wheth-
er Il comes from the stars, or
evolves from a pent-up cussed-
ness within. is a debetable ques-
ton. but look out there! You
are on the verge Of somebody's
toes BIZ Didn't we tell you?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

II all those Germans who
deny plotting in America were
10 be believed, we would be
forced 20 the conclusion that
there weren't any plots.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Gov. Gen. Harrison OF the
Philippines declares the islands
ready for independence. He may
base his view on the fact that
they get along pretty well while
ne stays. in America.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Internal Revenue Commissi oner
Roper warns tax evaders that 1t will
not be healthy 20 be caught But
don't all those who dodge do II with
the expectation that they can get
away with II?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Rome Is Indignant al Alb
dication Rumors." says a head
line. Well, Rome started them.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Anarchist papers published in
rs languages in the United
States furnish an equal num-
Der OF reasons why English is
good enough for US.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The school children OF those
western cities will find it hard 10
regard as a calamity the shortage
or coal which led TO closing the
schools.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Interruptng discussion as TO
whether IL Will be a wet"
Christmas or a green" Christ
mas, the government suggests
that It has taken steps 10 assure
that it wifi not be a red"
Christmas.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The scientists are sorry that
meteor fell into Lake Michigan be-
cause IL cost them a chance TO study
1t. But a lot OF ordinary individuals
are Just as well satisfied.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

prince OF wales. dropped a quart
OF scotch" on the pavement, will
be likely forever to regret that the
prince came here.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The average man doesn't need to
be reminded that Christmas IS COM
ms The returning habit Of years
will take care Of that
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

mas stocking habit s. silly. for there
isn't anything he wants that can
be put into even an oversize.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

At twenty, a bachelors heart IS
filed with visions. at thirty with
fears. at forty with cynicism, and at
ilfty-with regrets.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

When a girl refuses to let a man
adays. he IS never disconnected; he
IS merely astonished that she could
be so blind 20 her own luck
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
Mrs. Solomon Saws
By Helen Rowland
eing the Confessions of the 7OOth Wife

Verify, verify, II q lover spalze
the truth, in the days OF his
courtship, no woman would
marry him!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

IN comparison 20 the bolshevih,
the sweet. d-fashion,d hobo" who
frankly refused 70 work. but didn't
demand 20 be paid for q. seems Al
most a blessing
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The New York woman, who, ex-
,ited by the proximity Of the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Little While thinks that Christ
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Most OF a mans sins and follies
begin in vanity-and end IN indiges
ton.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

II the United States were 10 fol-
low the precedent set by the Mexi-
can government In the jenkins case.
1t would seize CaITanza and put him
In jail because the bandit Villa.
has fought agaIngt him.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Medically speaking the heart is am
organ; but, from the ease with which
some men succeed in grinding out
the same old love-tunes. season aft
er season, IL would seem 10 be more
like a photograph
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Some husbands are never more
than one-half of one percent mar
ried, and the other ninety-nine and
a half percent pure firt.
A sweet home life looks about as
enticing 20 a bachlor as a cage 70
a wild canary; but, after year or
two OF warmth. comfort, regular
meals. and having his bath prepared
for him, you couldn't bear either
OF them away from f.
The biggest, bravest man that ever
lived is built like a barge; and any
little woman who puhs up steam
enough, can attach him 20 her and
TO him all the way UP the stream OF
life
II husbands and wives had 10 die.
as well as dine, simultaneously, most
Of them would never get TO heaven,
for arguing over which road 20 take,
and who should have the frst choice
OF wings.
Mental cruelty and ''psychoiogf ,
cal incompatibility are the newest
and smartest names for the same old
"grounds"-cold coffee, cold kisses,
hot words. luke-warn affections. and
the morning battle over the news
paper.
Every scientist and metaphysician
seems 10 be discovering new way
Of prolonging life-just as the II c.
L. and the labor situation have
caused most OF Us 20 doubt that ife
IS worth living at all.
Every woman envies a man his
ability 20 go into each new Irritation,
with all the enthusiasm OF FIRST
love" and the undaunted faith that
4 will be the last"
Love IS just the glittering star at
the top OF life's Christmas tree:
but what a dull. incomplete thing
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

A Boston expert has figured out
the exact weight OF the earth and
now some profiteer Is likely to try
20 add it on some OF his sales
weights.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

The Communist government OF
Petrograd adopts a radical plan to
end strikes by killing the strike
leaders, but 1t should be recalled
that It is a radical government
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

great deal Of food is being mailed now from
America to Germany. including. let hope, some
food for thought.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

the tree would be without IT,
Many a society girl has endeavored
vainly 10 appear as naughty and SUI
percllious as her Pomerarian.
Medically speaking. the heart is an
organ; but, from the ease with which
some men succeed in grinding out
the same old love-tunes. season aft
er season, IL would seem TO be more
like a photograph.
When a girl refuses to let a man
kiss her beneath the mistletoe. now
adays he Is never Disconnected; he
Is merely astonished that she could
be so blind 20 her own luck.
IN comparison 70 the bolsheviki,
the sweet. old-fashion.d hobo" who
frankly refused 20 work. but didn't
demand TO be paid for e. seems al
most a blessing
A mans way OF winning in a quar-
rel with a woman IS to climb Up on
his dignity and wait there. for the
girl 20 bring a ladder and coax him
down
Many a husband would never dis
cover that ne had recovered from
his first mad romance for his wife
II she didn't insist on reminding him
Of Il, every time he forgot 20 kiss
her.
Nowadays. a debutante's Creates
problem is how 20 keep her chap 4
erone from flirting too conspicuous
Is.
A girls heart IS Ike her treasure
chest-chock full Of tenderly cher
ished little souvenirs OF love; mani
IS ike his pipe-carefully emptied
after each flame" has gone out
Nobody knows so little about wo-
men as a happily married man He
20 whom he is linked-or he wouldn't
be so sure that he was happily mar
ried"
Heaven knows why a man aiways
admires a tiny foot with a high in
step-probably because that's th.>
kind that usually walks all over him
and places itself gently but firmly
on his neck.
Many a little tea-for-two has end
ed in lawyers for four.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Many n society girl has endeavored
vainly 20 appear as naughty and su-
percilious as her PomeraEian.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Some husbands are never more
than one-half Of one percent mar
ried. and the other ninety-nine and
a half percent pure firt
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

oELr SUNDAY EE-osPAPEP NORTHERN INDIANA Mailed
as natter.
y h SUMMERS. J. " STEPHENSON. Publisher
JOHN HENRY ZUyER.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14
And the Reflections of Bachelor Girl

the tree would be without fl.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Love IS just the glittering star at
the top OF LIES Christmas tree:
but what a dull, incomplete thing
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

A mans way OF winning In a quar-
rel with a woman IS to climb Up on
his dignity and wait there, for the
girl 20 bring a ladder and coax him
down
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Many little tea-for-two has end
ed in lawyers for four.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Heaven knows why a man always
admires a tiny foot with a high n-
step-probably because that's th.>
kind that usually walks ali over him
and places itself gently but firmly
on his neck.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Every woman envies a man his
ability 20 go into each new filtration,
with all the enthusiasm OF "frst
love" and the undaunted faith that
4 will be the last"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Many husband would never dis
cover that ne had recovered from
his first mad romance for his wife
II she didn't insist on reminding him
Of Il, every time he forgot 20 kiss
her.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Nowadays. a debutante's greatest
problem Is how 70 keep her chap
erone from flirting too conspicuous
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-14

Nobody knows so little about wo-
men as a happily married man He
doesn't even know the one woman
70 whom he is linked-or he wouldn't
be so sure that he was happily mar
ried."