Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-09-13

ON THE PHONE

Pretty nearly everybody is agreed that the telephone serV-
ice is about as bad as it can be. You answer your phone and
start to talk to someone, but before you have learned who the
person is YOU are cut off; then Central" in a sweet, innocent
voice, "butts in to ask what number you want. OF course you
don't want any number at all, you have merely answered SOME
one who has called you, but it seems to be utterly unknown
to Central" You explain as best you can and Central asks
who it was that was talking to you and you say you don't Know
that you were cut off before you had Identified the person.
Then Central says she's sorry but she can't do anything iof
you, and you hang up and wonder what you have a phone LII
the house for. n.
But that is only one Of a thousand instances. A merchant
will call I'D a business house in New York and, after the usual
delay, succeeds in getting the connection The connection mas
hardly started, however, before the merchant suddenly mas
that the person on the other end of the wire IS one u MS Gus
toners here in the city trying to give an order; what became OF
the New York business house with which he had started 10
talk n q one knows, not even Central" The merchants pro-
cceds to take the order from his customer, but, half the time,
finds he is talking into a dead" wire with nobody on the other
end at all.
All these things have become SO common in trying to use
the telephone that one does not expect anything else nova
days. Complaints do no good, nevertheless one does get some
satisfaction, even yet, in unburdening ones self to the OIL
Gals of the telephone company.
It is particularly satisfying to tell your telephone troubles
to Teddy" Spawn, the representative OF the New YORK Tele-
phone Company in this city. We don't know exactly what
spawn's official title is, but he has come to personify about
everything in connection with the telephone service here
abouts and the company would have to hunt q long time to
find a better man to fill his place. Why, actually, after talking
to Spawn about the telephone service for a few minutes you
find yourself believing that there never was such service In
the world as the telephone company is now giving-and that
is true. Really, IL seems as Ii LlS mdn spawn hS Somo HyP
motto influence over telephone subscribers when they come to
complain. If any ordinary man held Spawn's job he would be
either murdered or in the insane asylum by this time, but not
so with Spawn-hes a man that's different. He still appears
on the street and in public places as smiling as ever and is al
ways ready with an answer for any kick that's coming-andI
he gets lots of them, too. Really, the telephone company is not
paying Spawn half enough. Wed don't know what his salary is,
but whatever it is it ought to be doubled. We don't believe
the telephone people realize what a wonder Spawn is. |
But, in the meantime, when a person is not under the be-
nigning influence of the genial Spawn he is able to express
his real sentiment regarding the telephone service and he deal
clares without hesitation that 1t is ROTTEN" And everybody
else agrees-untl Spawn comes along. |