The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1919-10-16
HIS JINX AT WORK |
Traveller Felt It When He Saw
Those Whiskers.
Hut That Didn't Prevent Him "Fai'-
ina' for Probably the Oldest "suek'
or" Game in Existence, and
Then Kicking.

"Nice day ]" said the stout man as ne
lowered himself on the seat beside me
In the day car with parlor-car look.
"Nice," 1 remarked just to humor
him, although must say that always
try to avoid man who wears whisk-
ers. This man was wearing. No. o
face fungus with ear flaps. 1 thought
at first of asking him K he had to take
out a license for his face trimmings.
But, after all, felt that he had kind
face-what could see of it-Dehlnd
the shrubbery, as 1t were.
"Are you commercial traveller ne
asked, stroking his beard to starboard.
"No," 1 replied, "but / once had
fourth cousin who did seven years IN
jail for another offense. That was the
only member of my family who stray
ed from the narrow path of virtue"
LUCKY for you" he snapped out
| pushing his plantation in my face. Its
| a dogs life. Everywhere you 60 peo-
pie talk about the peace" 49,.
| "Ah!" interposed, there is peace
on, then? thought 1 saw something
| about it in the press" -
j s"Are YOU an Americana" he raped
out, getting nasty.
"Yes," said. "Are you? Or do you
live in Hoboken, N. j." L felt l
would like to have struck match anu
started a bush fire around the wooded
portion of his face.
81 see you have some cuts on your
face" he remarked.
eyes. My tonsorial artist illustrat'
ed me with some funny cuts"
.Ah !" he slipped in. You shouio
shave yourself and you would never
have a face like that" >.
I should like to have told him tna'
| his was no oil painting. Especially dc
I hate. his face mats. / detest a mar
who tries to look venerable by wearing
face mats, when underneath he ma!
have the chin of a criminal.
$40 YOU wear those germ traps OF
purpose?" asked curiously. -..-..s
II "Thep's camouf1age," he said. Jus
TO show what people look like whel
II they don't shave. / travel for Raxro
ii safety razors $3.50 each, and seem
you're nice sort of boob 1 can
II Won one for So. Here is the last on
II I have"
ii took it. If it had been scythe
III should have had harvest with M
beard.
ii Then I fell to thinking of his whist
ers again. They were the most VII
Il whiskers had ever seen. They stoo
III out at all angles from his face
Il couldn't make up my mind whether
y should like him better with or Wit
- off them. But was quite prepare
to get lawn mower and try
"Seeing you are a good busine
man. he went on, "what about nj
nine lighter? have really good III
off % cents each Sorry l haven't g
one with me. but can send 1T on. Ne
or fails, and always lights a pipe
cigarette. In fact, it is one of the be
pipe lighters ever invented. just q
me % cents and your address ana
will send 1T along.
OF course 1 fell. I handed him {
quarter and got out at the next static
Some days later a package arrlv
at my villa Here was the pipe light
Breathlessly 1 opened the packai
eager to see the contrivance. 1t was
Yes, a match. I gulped two mouthf'
of fresh air and threw my cigarette
the porridge.
And that is why, when | meet a M
with full set of face mats, | aiwf
say-(Oh no, you don't. Not ne
at any rate.-Editor.) -Walter Stu
Marsden in Pennsylvania Grit.