The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1919-01-17
AND DELIVERS MASTERFU ADDRESS ON SANC1

How do o do, Mrs. Brown? I am
delighted to see you and / am so glad
you have brought the children. Why,
dearie, why / am SO glad to see
you"
Smack! Smack! Kiss!
Take off your things and now we
will have a good time!"
She did 50 and the kids played
the handkerchief. an then they had
some refreshments. and then she
said. Now we will have IA lunch
con-"
f.A1
wtnd-jamming and her visitor said:
We'll, I must go. / promised my
husband I would be home early"
She said. Don't hurry. I am en-
joying your visit"
She said. mo. I must co. 30 she
coupled her train and prepared to
She said, Don't wait so long be-
fore you return again. will you,
| dearie? ?"
well. goodbye"
Good bye"
Good bye"
(Ktsses all the children.)
After the woman had gone she said.
Heavens! Bring me the smelling
salts quick; I know I shall faint"
And so, as the kids were luggfng
Tor they brought In a little china dog
about hat long-and she said,
who broke that dog? Tommy. did
you break TT"
"Aibert. did o break it, Doro-
thy, did you break It? Esteila. did
you break It? Dfmple. did You break
It?
Zone OF you children are lying to
me, and ! propose to hnd out who II
is. Now, who did it?'
Turns States Evidence.
Finally. one of the kids turned
states evidence and fastened the
him by the ear. led him in to a back
room and busted him. shook him up,
ana said. "Do you know why I pun
fshed yuu:-0h-ht-4t-h hurt mamma
worse than It did you!"
Cut that old bunk. That's stale
stuff: forget III And she said, "Do
you know why I did ft7"
mo"
Not for breaking the dog.
grandfather's grandfather. who
fought in the Revolutionary war gave
It to me-" she said. IT have punished
you for lying to me-"
Where did he learn Il? I'm tell
you where he learned to lie-he
learned It from his miserable old
lying mother. He heard what she
said when the carriage drove up.
Where did the child learn TO lie ?
From his old tying mother.
How old are you. my boy?" asked
| . r~,n~A 80 vrtr,r ~ 4, ttttyn fo1A1apu
He said. II am Ave al home. six at
school and -four on the street car"
We let the moral training 20 TO our
school teachers. have aspired
to hold but one Office, that is to be a
member Of the school board, and the
first thing I would do would be TO
raise the salary OF the teachers and
pay them twelve months a year.
\ 1t Is a disgrace the salary we pay
our preachers and public school
teachers in America, the two indis-
pensable people on earth. The aver
age wage is less than five hundred
dollars a year. II is three dollars a
day for the teaching year n It is q
dollar sixty cents a day for the calen-
dar year on the average. There are
| eleven states where the salary Is less
than three hundred dollars a year and
two states where the average Is less
than two hundred and fifty dollars a
year. Why when our teachers &c
roses: when they come out. my
friend. they took like lilies and they
arc anaemics, they are bending over
thai miserable nonentity that bears
your name trying to poke something
into his empty
We have taken from our school
teachers the right to lick our kids
and they don't get licked at home.
No wonder they boss you before they
have sprouted l>ng pants.
I got a licking at school that
I liz not deserve, but I have a good
many. my friends. that r coming
to me yet. hat I got away without.
When I vas a kid and went to school
/ always wore three pairs Of pants.
My children are imitators.
A fellow gav a friend OF mine a
dog, a water spaniel. A little later on
another fellow gave him q rat ter
rier. one day the fellow says to him
How are the dogs getting along?'
He said: by jinks. the water
spaniel is a better rat dog than the
rat terrier and the water spaniel Is
keeping the rats out now. He is the
best dog OF the two"
Power OF imitation in the world.
Many a kid is sent TO a reformatory
WHO ought 10 HAVE pcEH t1CkSu anu
SEM him. Themistocles said. My
children rule Greece"
How Is that?"
He said: why. my children rule
their mother. their mother rules me
I rule Athens. and Athens rules
Greece. therefore my children rule
Greece.
/ preached up In Minnesota some
years ago and one Of those billiards
was or and there II something doins
when there In a blizzard on In Mime
sofa or North Dakota. believe me,
The door blew open In the house in
which I vas being entertained
bankers, He came home and sat In
front Of his fireplace with his car
pet slippers on, reading the paper
The door blew open. He had a boy,
n r~ed-headed kid. sort Of a Clydes-
dale kind OF a boy, He said, Go
shut the door. honey"
He said. II amt going to do It: ]
am playing with my hlocks."
= He said. IF you don't papa will
have 70.
He said, II don't carr II you do. ]
want to play with my blocks"
That big lobster did get up and
shut that door. I wanted to borrow