St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1919-01-11
The
RedCrOSS Man
I-
BY ROY PERRING.


"Who wuz the bird, Hal? Looked
like a six-cylinder officer, but they
don't ride in no fiivver."
"You are guessin' close, Ireland.
Didn't you see the Red Cross on his
jitney? That's the Red Cross Man,
He's got real handle but few know
what it's like. Every jack from the
G. o. to the ducks in the guardhouse
call him the Red Cross Man. Got 'em
in all the camps"
81 didn't see none at Wheeler's field.
Is he what you call-not preacher
but "a"
"No, Mike, he amt no chaplain, If
that's the handle you wuz huntin' for,
The cross Is big red one, an the A.
r. G. on his jacket don't stand for
aero reserve corps, but the American
Red Cross. | heard him the other
morning when he tried to start his
| fiivver after the rain. Captain Welsch
said his language was Biblical, but 1t
wuzn't orthodox, whatever that means.
| 1t sounded like good old United States
! to me. No, he amt no preacher, but
| reckon he knows how to talk turkey to
the boys all right. Corporal Murphy
| hadn't been giving his folks square
deal; never sent any money home,
a-soakin' his pay shootin' craps two
| hours after gettin' it. The corp. tole
me the Red Cross Man talked to i'm
| like a Dutch uncle, an when he got
through, the corp. had signed a paper
| tellin' Uncle Sam to take a strangle
hold on half his pay, an slip 1t to his
mother. Take it from me, Uncle Sam
mie likes to hear them sort of orders,
an to show how happy he wuz to get
| the corps message, he chucked in
twenty more plunkers to the corps fif-
teen an the mothers gettin' thirty-five
per. Sure she amt happy less she's
| wraslin' with a washboard every day,
but the corp. tOle me she wuz only
| a-takin' In five family washes now, an
the kids wuz goin' to school again.
When the Red Cross Man had toe
hold on the CORP, he persuaded him to
take out insurance, same as the rest Of
us boys, an then he tole him he could
gamble his bloomin' block off with the
| rest of his pay. The corp. gets good
nights sleep now on pay day, cause
| what's left of his pay only lasts till
about ten thirty"
''Is this here Red Cross Man a real
for-sure officer, Hal?''
Rank of Officer.
'sWell, dino. He ought to be. We
call him captain, or lieutenant, and
say sir to i'm. He says he's an Off
Ger without rank. Says the leather
puts and green pants show that he's.
part officer and the rests Irish. The
new fellers don't know whether to
s'lute or not. He says we can s'lute
the cross if we feel like it, but he don't
care a tinkers hammer whether we
s'lute him or not. We old vets know
i'm an s'lute the cross an the man
that's benin 1t. But officers and pri-
Yates are all the same to him. seen
i'm talkin' to the G. o. the other day,
an he wuZn't actin as though he was
any scared of him. They seemed to
be real friendly-like. But he don't
seem to care whether he's talkin' to
the c. O. or N. C. They all look
alike to him. He takes chow at our
mess sometimes, an tin dishes don't
upset his stumik any. The boys like
to have him, cause he joshes 'em along
and they forget they'r still in the
| States stead in France where they all
want to be. He can deliver the mer-
| chandise too. Last winter when Tom
| Masons wife and four kids come down
| here from Detroit an got sick, the Red
| Cross Man got Tom a leave an took
i'm to the burg In his flivver. Then he
sent Toms wife doc, an some coal,
| an some eats. Reckon he must a.
| helped Tom get a discharge so he
| could support his family, though no.
| body knows nothin' for sure. Slim
/ Dawson thought he did, though, an
| asked the Red Cross Man to help him
get off Uncle Sans pay roll. The
Red Cross Man wrote some letters up
| to Sims home town, an when they
! come back, he tole Slim his wife and
kids wuz adrawin' forty-seven fifty
per and they wuz better off with him
workin for Uncle Sam, an he'd better
stick aroun' and help make Germany
safe for democracy"
"Must have the spondulix an some
| pull, if he's so free with the cash an
knows so many people. everywhere"
He Amt No "PIut."
''No, he amt no 'plut.' They say he
don't draw no pay, an he polishes his
own shoes, an in pinch washes his
| own shirt. But you see. Mike, this
Red Cross Man business is all over the
States. When a soldier from Millers-
vile gets word his folks is In bed, he
| goes mopin' aroun' like q dog was met
| up with a skunk. He's soured on the
| whole show, an all the sugar this man
| Hoover's saved couldn't sweeten him
| up none. His off see he's punk an
| they try to work 1t outer him, but 1t
only makes i'm bunker. They look for
him to go over the hill next. Then the
| Red Cross Man hears about 1t. He
| gets him in his Office, or in his jitney,
! am. believe me, he knows how to find
out what's wrong. Then he writes up
| to Millersville, where they got the Red
Cross too, an they go see what's
aslew with the doughboys folks an