The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-01-18
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
Worid's Highest Paid Woman Writer.
Don't knock Your In-Laws.

Don't Knock Your In-Laws.
We are always reading in the
papers about the parents of some dis
gruntled couple being sued for the
alienation of the affections of faith
less husband or wife. When we do,
we smile cynically and think to our
selves that such a suit is pretty raw
matchmaking scheme, for we have lit
tie faith in the hurt heart that de-
mands money as panacea for its
wounds.
But, as matter of fact. in many
and many a marriage that goes to
, smash. it is the parents who are re-
sponsible for the disaster. 1t is the
parents who have alienated the af-
fections of the husband from the wife
he once adored, or killed the love of
the wife of the man who was the
hero of her girlish dreams. Especial
ly it is mother who is the first aid to
the divorce court.
And the pity of it is that parents
generally do this wrong unwittingly.
unintentionally, with no malice afore-
Thought, and no repentance after
| wards, because they never even know
that they have committed u crime
against their children's happiness.
Mother wonders why her children's
| marriages have turned out badly. She
| wonders why Tom happened to get a
wife in whom he is disappointed, and
who does not come up to his ideal,
and why Mary was unlucky enough
! to pick out for husband a man in
whose supernal qualities she so soon
ceased to believe. 1t never occurs to
her that it was her hand that Weakened
her children up from their romantic
dreams, shattered thier illusions and
| turned their domestic life into a great
| disappointment
Mother did this by the simple ex-
pedient of continually harping upon
| nf h
! ter-in-law and son-in-law. 1t was she
| who pointed out to Tom that his wife
was extravagant and wasteful. and
| that she spent more money on her
! clothes than she should and didn't
keep close enough eye on the gar
bage pail.
1t was mother who suggested to
Tom that a wife's place is in the
home. and that she should spend her
time darning socks instead of running
around to afternoon teas. bridge par
| ties and matinees. Likewise il was
mother who called Toms attention to
the fact that his wife preferred read
ing the six best sellers to Ibsen and
Maeterlinck, and that her musical
taste ran to "Oh Boy" instead Of
Brahms. and that she was generally
! frivolous and light-minded. instead of
| being serious and learned were the
women of Toms own family.
Left to himself Tom would never
| have found out any of these things.
| Being no Judge of the thickness of
| potato parings. or how much a gown
| should cost or how many hats a
woman really needs, he would have
| paid his wife's bills without a muir
muir so long as they were within rea-
son, and enjoyed seeing her well
dressed. also he would have enjoyed
listening to her jolly chatter and her
gay laughter.
/ However. after mother had turned
the spotlight on wife's faults and
shortcomings they grew bigger and
bigger until he could see nothing else.
and soon the shadow of her foibIes
blotted out all the brightness of her
charms. and he realized that he had
made a mistake in marriage.
And il was mother who did the ga me
disservice to Mary. 1t was mother
who got out her little Hammer and
went for every single fault habit and
popularity OF Marys husband until
! she battered him out of all resem-
blance to the Cooling Mary thought
she had married. and left him such a
Door. miserable object of scorn that
Mary wondered what she had ever
| seen in him that even made her think
that she wanted him
1t was mother who suggested to
Mary that her husband was a tight
wad when he said he couldn't afford
things. 1t was mother who rallied
against mans seifishness when Mary's
husband expected her to he on her
Job and live uD to her part of the
partnership by keeDiDg n comforfa bie
! home 1t was mother who so1ed the
wondering why men always picked