davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

tional features of the Y. M. c. A. SC. to especially appeal to them. Al
 A special piece of good luck for was the turning over by the Amereic committee ioH public information of thI entire moving picture equipmenet, inch ing studios. laboratories, machines "a films. This addition to our resources . enable us to maintain an excellent fl and lecture service throughout all beria. Beginning with this month,
 have l2o,0eo feet of carefully select films arriving each month from Anierii
 ''Of course. our first responsibility to the American expeditionary force. 2 signed to which are 20 American secj taries. Through the generous co-oper tion of General Graves and his tent, staff, we have been able to effect fairly efficient organization. At prt ent. we are maintaining a service wi 10 units of the American army. As t American units move westward to he guard the Siberian railway they carry club car attached to their troop train.
 Mir. Phelps said in conclusion:
 Perhaps of all the services of t Y M. C. A. in Siberia, the most popul are the entertainment given in the I ternational Hut, at Vladivostok. If our policy to have something doing eve day in the week from until g o'cloe These entertainments include band co eerts, choruses, boxing contests, popul lectures, moving pictures and anate shows. We try to. make the 'doughbc happy"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

wretched and thoroughly chagrined audience
 Things like this displeased Mark Twain greatly. When English audi ences began giggling before he mad so much as opened his mouth, he was filled with disgust. German audiences pleased him better, much though he hated to speak German. One time, set of German professors got Up a banquet in Marks honor and he under took to en1iven the occasion by tell ing them about a fellow who was so tall that whenever he wanted to ,is his cravat he had to climb ladder No one laughed. No one grinned. AS the party broke up, a professor drew Mark aside. and said. Ours is very difficult language. Herr Twain--a language filled with idioms that bat file the foreigner You speak it admir- ably Like a native almost. But am I not right in supposing that one of those idioms got in your way this evening? We understood you to assert that. in order to tie his necktie the man climbed ladder, whereas, if the man went up the ladder the necktis must also have gone up already yet"
 Mark was de1ighted--as tickled, daresay, as when he once noticed among his listeners a perfectly solemn
 individual, who remained so through, out Mdrh account or miner who ran tunnel into his neighbor's mire. got sued for it, and. such was his de- termination, ran the tunnel clean through the hill, and out into the air, and supported it on a trestle. After the lecture Mark buttonholed the sol emn individual and said, Come now, old chap, why didn't you laugh?" There were times, moreover, when Mark could crack a joke for his delec- tation alone.
 Why should I?" replied the solemn one. I'm a liar myself"
 l When I was living in Buffalo," says
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01
Brain and Brawn Producers.

l Arthur Hunt Chute, in Leslies S.
 | There is a false tendency to speak of
 those who toll with their hands as if they alone were the workers. The great est menace of this present time is this
 tendency to unduly exalt mere brute ef- | fort, and to discredit the more precious effort of our true leaders in the realm | Of the mind.
 The socialists and bolsheviki proclaim
 that only the producer should have a
 place in society. Their premise is cor rect. But in it's application they go l far astray In the declaration of the 1 Soviet government we read, Ut means
 all power of the working people The l Soviet organiza tions are so created that only the representatives of the laboring 1 classes enter them-workmen, peasants,
 and soldiers. The peasant produces grain
 and raw materials. The workman works lthe raw materials into fabrics and ma
 chimes, The soldier during the transition
 of society from capitalism to socialism 1istands on guard"
 In the reaction of the world against | Prussianism we have swung too far to
 the other extreme. Bolshevsm. the wild | est expression of this reaction, means | society turned upside down. If the de- , lusions of Lenine were realized we should have Hottentots and Chinese coolies in 1 the places of Charles M. Schwab and Thomas A. Edison. 1 A small group of rare minds have been
 the cause of every forward movement. | To deny the work of these men is to {, turn our faces backward. While we l have been engaged in smashing down
 false aristocracies of Europe, the new | world and the old alike must still pre- serve higher class. composed of those
 'rare minds whose leadership alone can
 make for progress.
 /! Ever since the days of the Grachi in | Rome we have had our nalcontents who | have been crying out for 3 reapportion-
 nent of goods. In the manifesto Russia 1 Did It. the Seattle workers voiced the desire of mediocracy for leveling up. {! Equality" is their cry and in shouting that word they are not merely against the present social system. but also against
 the pre-established order of the uni verse, which everywhere and always | spells inequality
 | Nature knows no such thing as equality. Granting to one man one talent, and to another ten talents, the Creator has or daned from the beginning that the two cannot be equal. Under ideal socialism, we learn from MT. Robert Blatchford, 'the only difference between a prime minister and a, collier would be the diff ference of rank and occupation But before he proves his case, MT. Blatchford will have to demonstrate how one talent 1 is equal to ten. A socialist may fatu- ously declare all men equal, but when one | man has a head full of brains, and an other has mere teaspoonful all of MT. Bla atchford's pleadngs will not make the two equal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray
 And dance and drink and jest And lie and steal. all one to him
 He done his level best
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

If he was preachin on his beat,
 He'd tramp from east to west, And north to south, in cold and heat, He done his level best.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

man and muttered under his breath. 'Is there anything wrong with my clothes?" Assured that there was not. ''Rum stays more thousands than dis easel"
 The audience burst in a roar of wild hilarity.
 At that, Hornet turned to the chair he resumed Right before our very eyes. intemperance is dragging men down to he'll"
 Then came a perfect tempest of ap- plause and laughter.
 Then Hornet got mad. Pointing an angry finger at man in the front row, he thundered. Do you see anything g funny in that.'
 The man cried. You bet we do"' It's funny as the dickens. Keep it up!" And others cried, Go it, Mark you're a good one" Whereupon the chairman saw a great'light, and nabbed Hornet by the court-tails, and had d word with him and then several with the audience. explaining ma tters Ths merriment died down but not the wrath of Hornet. Bursting with white hot indignation, he declared, he mad never in his life seen so many -cUnsum- mate jackasses together in one hall He departed forthwith, and so did the now
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

tial as if it had been Julius Caesar or the Great Horn. Spoon or 'old Deuteronomy himself
 At that stage Mark had enriched the household verbiage of America with such phrases as Be good and you will be lonesome. and Heaven for climate, hell for society," and My idea of luxury is a pair of suspenders for every pair of pants,' and you could always win a laugh by beginning a story with. AS Mark Twain says" but he had not yet delighted us with his most brilliant burst of wit, namely Reports of my death greatly exaggerated"
 l wish they still were. Copyright, 1919 by the Bell Syndicate,
 Incl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

hand from the rich gold mining region of Sonora:
 ITO MT Mark Twain: The within par son, which l have set to poetry under the name and style of .'He Done His Level Best was among the whitest men I ever see. Preachin' was his nat ural gait but he warn't a man to lay back an twidle his thums because there didn't happen to be nothin' doin' in his own special line. His last acts was to go to his pile O 'kings-and -tcalklatin to fill, but which he didn't filD when there was a flush out agin him, and natur- ally, you see, he went under. l knowed this talented man in ArSansaw and if you would print this humbly tribute to his gorgis abilities you would greatly obleese his unhappy friend:
 HE DONE HIS LEVEL BEST. !" When he was mining on the flat,
 He done it with a zest;
 Was he leading of his choir,
 He done his level best
 If he was preachin on his beat,
 He'd tramp from east to west, And north to south, in cold and heat,
 He done his level best.
 He cuss and sing and howl and pray
 And dance and drink and jest ,And lie and steal. all one to him
 He done his level best
 '"verily, this man was gifted with gorgis abilities and it is a happiness to embaln the memory of their lustre in these columns. If it were not that the poet crop is unusually large and rank, would encourage you to continue writ ing, Simon"
 Beholding such genius as this gave proof of, the world encouraged Mark, and kept him writing, and was rewarded with Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn and "Innocents Abroad, and a whole library of roaring humor besides, and rewarded Mark Twain in turn with riches and immortal fame. The last time .ever clapped eyes on him l was sit ting at luncheon with Ambassador Wal ter Hines Page, then an editor and pub
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

photograph has been put to a very novel use by seal hunters of the Pa cific A large instrument, but one which is of convenient shape for transporta- ton, is made use of. and it is set up near the rendezvous of the animals, and soon it's music attracts their attention and they lift their hears well above the water. The hunter reports that he has been able to shoot large numbers of them while they are under the spell of the sounds so strange to their ears.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01
Bacchus Also Ran

Ficm the Milwaukee Sentinel.
 I am afraid that your son is a fc lower of Bacchus." said the preacher WI was calling on old Gotrox
 "A follower" exclaimed old Gotros "Why, he caught up with. that guy Ba chus and passed him years ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

One morning. as we were enjoying our cigars on the veranda after breakfas st we saw Mark come to his door in his dressing gown and slippers. and lock over at us. He stood at his own door and smoked for a minute, as if makin E up his mind about something, and, at last, opened his gate and came loung- ing across the street. There was an unoccupied rocking chair on the yer anda and when my brother offered It to him he dropped into it with q sigh | of relief. He smoked for a few mo- ments and said
 Nice morning"
 "'Yes, very pleasant
 ""Shouldn't wonder If we had rain by and by
 Well. we could stand little
 This is a nice house you have here
 Yes, we rather like it.'
 'Hows your family?
 Quite wel1-and yours?'
 "Oh. we're all comfortable
 There was another impressive s;- lence, and finally Mark crossed his legs, blew a puff of smoke in the air, and in his lazy drawl remarked
 T suppose you're a little surprised to see me over here so early. Fact is, havent't been so neighborly, perhaps. as I ought to be. We must mend that state of things. But this morning I came oyer because I thought you mi gh be interested in knowing that your roof is on fire"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01

stead
 When he reached home his wife asked, "waal, Silas. haow did you like Mark Twain? Was he funny"
 Yep" replied Silas, The was. He was sartainly funny" the added, in tones mildly rueful. but not so goldurned funny"
 This is fiction, suppose. though. as they say in the B'Gosh Belt of Mas sachusetts, I "got the story straight from the bears maouth.' However, fact is stranger. Authentic history records that once when Mark had been advertised to hold forth in Colchester, Conn. and failed to show up, the com mittee hastily procured a substitute at the last moment. Now. the substitute, by name Hornet. and by profession a temperance agitator, was completely unknown to the audience, nor did the audience know that Marks real name was Clemons. When the chairman of the committee introduced Mir. Hornet, they thought he was Mark.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01
LAUGHED AT PROHIBITION

After making a solemn bow and glancing about so as to make sure that he had every ones attention. Hornet said impressively. What I am about to tell you is gospel truth. Drink is the nations curse"
 "Ha, ha! Tee, heel" snickered the audience
 Hornett looked puzzled. but went on
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-01
The Funniest Men That EUer Liued of the Worlds Greatest Humor Eccentrc ties, Foles and Their FOibles.
 
No. 4-Mark 1 Twain

A1fAl sum V VI AA V a way back in the B'Gosh Belt of Ma chusetts a
 f arm c r wen [ "daown t Boston one day to hear Mark Twain, but got into the wrong hall without real izin'g his mistake, and heard the Hon.
 orable William Jennings Bryan in-
The Carlisle independent., 1919-01-16

City marshal l.. B. Baldwin has had his name added to the large list of readers of the Inde. pendent, and will now keep post. ed on what goes on in these parts. Mr. W. M. Hilbert one of our staunch farmer friends living northwest of town came in Tues day and had his name advanced one year on our subscription list.
 -LOST-A pocket book con- taining money and papers, be- tween Puryear's farm and Car lisle. Return to Lee Smith and receive a reward. 36.It
 w. M. Grindle of near town returned Saturday from Garth age, and other Illinois points. where he had been spending the holidays with friends and relatives.
 Nichols & Hutson have just received large invoice of block salt for stock, both white and sulphurized. It is the best and cheapest salt for your stock. Mir. J. NJ. Griffith and wife of near town left Monday for Little Rock where Mrs. Griffith will enter sanitarium for treatment Mr.. Griffith attended the horse and mule sale at Camp Pike.
 MT. and Mrs. E. NJ. Watson, who had been spending about a month the guest of friends and relatives at Danville, Illinois, have returned home. They re- port fine trip and pleasant time.
 Dan Gillian, prominent far mer of the Walters Chapel neighborhood was taken to Lit 1 tie Rock hospital for treatment Mir. Gillian had suffered an at tack of influenza and it left hini in demented condition, which tits stated is being treated suo- cessfully.
The Carlisle independent., 1919-01-16
Milk In Winter

Why do your cows give less milk in winter than they do in summer? Just because nature does not supply them with grass es and green food. But we have come to the assistance of Dame Nature with B. A Thomas Stock Remedy which con .ains tbe very ingredients that the green feed supplies in season, only. of course. in a more highly concentrated form We guaran- tee that this remedy will make your cows give more milk, and better milk, with the same feed -Jno. D Martin.
The Carlisle independent., 1919-01-16

c. s. Ayres, formerly of this city but now of England, was transacting business here Sat urday.
 Miss Nellie Robbins spent a couple of days the guest of Little Rock friends the first of the week.
 Messrs. B. D. Patterson and s. E Arp of Brassfield spent Sunday in Carlisle with their families. J. ". Puryear left Friday eve ming for Stuttgart, where he was the auctioneer at big horse sale Saturday. Henry Hardke and son Charles two prosperous farmers of near 1 Screeton, were in town Tuesday on business. Mrs. E L.. White and Mrs.
 Willard White are visiting their sister. Mrs. J. Walter Welch at Conway Ark. this week. Mir. James A. Payne left Sun day for Memphis. Tenn. and Crenshaw, Miss. where he will visit relatives and friends. -Buechley is selling the same kind of smoke that you bought from him last year. Guaranteed to cure and keep your meat. Try jar.
 i J. M. Sipes one of our valued subscribers called Monday and made himself good for another years subscription to the Inde pendent.
 Mrs. Fred Norman and sister in-law, Mrs Florence Norman left Friday for Cheyenne, Wyo ming for a visit to friends and relatives. Leon Murray, who has been spending several weeks visiting
 friends in Alabama, returned l home Friday. He reported a good time. Mrs. Josie M. Hargrave and little daughter, Louise, were here from Friday till Sunday the guests of the formers sister, Mrs. B. M. Williams.
The Carlisle independent., 1919-01-16
Mrs. c. s. Long has hat re.

MTS V. D. Long mas a nat re-
 duction sale advertisement in this issue of the Independent, and is making some great sacri- fee offers. The same goods that she's offering in this sale are just about half what they sold for ear
 ly in the season, but she needs room for her spring and summer stock that will begin arriving in short time, hence the great re- auction she is now making. The ladies will save money by patron. izing this sale. Don't wait. Go today and make your selections.
The Carlisle independent., 1919-01-16
PE,,, [ OVAL: e.

MT. E. N. Francis went to Lon oke Sunday.
 Buechley sells shoes that are all leather.
 Mr. w. H. Euart of the Arkmo Lumber Go. went to Little Rock Sunday.
 W. T. Sheppard of near town attended the horse sale at Little Rock Tuesday.
 Go to Buechley's for men and ladies arctics.
 D. B. Perkins was business visisor to Little Rock Thursday and Friday.
 MT. James Patterson and son, "Spooken" were Little Rock visitors Monday.
 Try a can of French market coffee; something good at Buech- ley's.
 ROOFING PUTTY-We have it.-Arkmo. Lumber Con- pany. 39-tf
 Miss Paralee Fletcher left Fri day for few days visit with friends in Little Rock.
 Mrs. Hattie Sanders, of Car lisle, was Hagen visitor the first of the week. Herald.
 MT Fred Selig of Stuttgart was here the first of the week looking after well business.
 Large line of fannelettes at 24 cents yard. Best on the market. N. W. Young X Son
 Mir. Frank Jessup left last Thursday night for Weiner, A k to spend a few days visiting his sister,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1919-09-29

characteristics Hawsrden businseI
firms made liberal contributions 20 ,
smooth stranger Saturday night ant
obtained receipts for their donations Il
the form of checks which were pro
nounced TO be forger1cs at tho Hawar'
den banks when they were presented
for deposit Monday.
Lake City--Mrs Frank StAnfield. SO
sacrificed her life In front Of q pas
senEer train near hcre when she saved
her two year-old baby from death. She
saw tho babe sitting between the rails
playing and tho train approaching. She
had only time to throw the child to
safety before the engine struck her.
Sioux clty-The boys attending
school at Sioux City are not to DO al
lowded to smoke cigarcts. and one pu-
pill was suspended from high school last
week and told that hS could return
requesting his reinstatement and when
assurance was given by tho boy and
his parents and he had cut out the use
Of tobacco.
oodsn--Ogden IL going to lose its
hospital within very short time un-
less some unforeseen turn OF affairs
takes place. DR.. G. A. holland. who
founded the hospital and has been the
means OF keeping It going UP to the
present time, announces that the time
has como when he considers conditions
unfavofable to n continuance of efforts
to servo this community from this
standpoint
Sac City>-Glenn Gerry and Floyd
Lang were seriously injured by an
explosion Of dynamite In q well on the
@. B. Keir place In the south part OF
the city yesterday afternoon. They wers
working in the employ Of J. H. Nc
Clintock, boring two-foot well for
Mr.. Keir. and struck bed OF rock
At Q depth OF about twelve feet. They
drilled into the rock and put IN some
dynamite with Wow to opening inc
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1919-09-29
Norther,, Io,Ca Ite,,,s

way Cor the buchsG sn1 inaHnush -
the fSass was . littis 6loW. wsus ovss
to The well to watch ~ operation. They
had, no more thaa LOOKED - when IN
explosion occurred. TAsy were struck
in the face with terrific torss b. pieces
Of rock and earth.
rrssr--The city counci1 st special
meeting this week ciossd ne deal for
the purchase Of . new engine and gem
orator for the municipal electric plant
al cost OF nearly 5000. Delivery In
sixty days In guaranteed. A small
brick addition on the east Of the pow
Or house will Do necessary - make
room for the new machinery. WORN on
a foundation for the engine viii begin
In q few days.
kanawha--Farmers north ana east
of Kanawha have Just recently taken
steps to build electric lines from ka-
nawha 10 their farm homes which VIII
give them all the electrical convent
ences Of tho city. This certainly In a
great step forward In farm progress
and one that will be. moro widely fol-
lowed In tho near future a. In these
days OF high costs farm conveniences
OF every nature are considered wisc In
vestments.
Tsma-The Tama county fair closed
with q deficit which win probably
reach $500 and possibly more. Altho
the opening was tho most favorable In
the associations history. the rain We'd
nssday and Thursday. and the muddy
track on Friday. eliminated all possi-
bility Of successful fair from a n
nanciai standpoint. Tho attendance
Saturday was good. but not sufficient
to overcome the losses on the other
days.
Storm Lsks-Thirty newspaper men
from the extreme northwest Town
counties met In group meeting Of the
Iowa Press Association At Sheldon
last Friday. The most interesting top
10 for discussion was how best TO NEE,
the steadily increasing costs In the