davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Luke McLuke Says

Luke McLuke Says
 Some preachers would be a heaI more popular if their sermons wer5 only as broad as they are long.
 Another reason why we believe that tobacco should be free from g war tax and that the war tax or automobiles should be doubled is be cause we use tobacco and we have no auto.
 We know a man who brags about his common sense so much that he gives other folks the impression that he hasn't any.
 Most men descend from their an oestors But now and then you will run into a hustler who rises lbove them.
 The trouble with the average gir 0f eighteen is that she knows more than she ought to and not as much IS she should.
 What has become of the old-fash oned silver key-winding watch, the covers of which would make nice roomy lunch trays?
 A practical joker is usually 2 damphool who has sense enough mol to play practical jokes on men who are bigger than he is.
 A woman driving her first auto acts almost as uppety and naughty IS a young father who is steering his own baby buggy for the frs time
 And the reason why a baby is SC much like it's mother is because when it gets what it wants it wants something else.
 Any time a girl coyly admits tha he is lover twenty" you can be that she isn't far from thirty.
 Even when a woman marries ; man to reform him she acts lik' she didn't know that he drank ant gambled until after she had married him.
 Another Damli There are lots 0 16-year-old girls in this country who can't control their mothers
 Knowledge of Right and WrOns won't get you anywhere unless yol also have enough sense to choose he Right.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

number that would be required His plan from the beginning to keep them going the ocean just they could be until the last gun of the should be fired.
 When asked to respond Col. Roosevelt's declara- tion that the United States should raise army of 5000 900 men, President Wilson replied Why limit it to 5000, 900? Why place any limit We shall continue to raise and send them into action as fast facilities and permit until the is finished, then shall stop. If that means army of 5000, 900, very we'll if 1000 900 or 900 000 also very we'll if only 5000 900 00O better yet, but shall place limit until the war is over"
 When the end it found that we had approximately 100000 under arms and very nearly half that number in Europe alive wounded and dead. They crossing the Atlantic at the rate of 10000 day! If the had continued, the United States would have entered the spring cam paign with than 5000 900 actual fighting men in the fray, the best armed, best equipped fed army put into action, and as full of fight any man who ever met enemy the field of battle.
 That it the work of these Americans in France and the certainty of the than coming that made Germany sick at heart and caused Prussan marsm to crumble and the war to collapse is ad- mted by critics everywhere.
 Yet we have politicians in the country who would Gscredit the purpose and record President Wilson and those associated with him in management just for what political capital they might get out it all!
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
DOUGLAS PAPER FOR DOLLY" GRAY
(Douglas Island News.)

Douglas Island News)
 J. Latimer (Dolly) Gray heads ticket in the com ing Juneau city election and a candidate for mayor If he is elected he will make fine mayor-we are for him. One of the things that convince us that he would make good is the fact he is one of the few men who could ever umpire ball. game the Chan nel without being almost mobbed. fellow who can accomplish that should be able occupy even the mayors chair in Juneau in these troublesome times
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
STEP ROUND

and see how we'll we are prepared 70 serve you with just tke lunch you had set your mind nn ordering. Our quick service and good hot food will win your patronage. The Alaska Grill. Ask Tom About It."
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

There will probably be opposition to Guy Me Naughton for member of the School Board. However, every voter should make it point to mark his ballot for him next Tuesday just to show approval of the earnest capable and conscientious work he has given Juneaus excellent public school
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Imagine, if you can, those Aleuts whom the in erpreter could not explain what Attorney General or Territorial Senator meant, meeting in solemn conclave Shorty Stofers cabin, eating cake, drinking coffee and selecting a Mining Inspector
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Our Joe Miller Contest

A Nashville man who says he en joys Bits of Byplay with his han and eggs every morning claims tha' the oldest joke is this half-century old Limerick: There was once an eloquent preacher Who owned lame hen; the poor
 creature;
 He bound up her leg.
 And she laid him an egg, And thus did the Henry Ward
 Beeched
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Almost Naked

After noticing how little some of the girls wear we get the impress sion that they have their gowns made by Lotzoff, the ladies' tailor. II! West North Street, Lima, Ohio.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
THE CITIZENS TICKET.

The Citizens Ticket stands for PEACE, PROGRESS and PRE-WAR CONDITIONS RESTORED in JUNEAU. For Mayor J. LATIMER GRAY. For Councilmen HARLEY J. TURNER CHARLES WARNER FRED W. IiEBERr
 RAY C. DAY
 K. D. MCLEAN
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

The name of every AMERICAN PATRIOT in Juneau will be in the registration books before Saturday afternoon at 5 o'clock. See that YOUR NAME is on the HONOR ROLL!
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

The old-fashioned girl who made young men keep their distance now has granddaughter who is pitched ground like a bale of hay.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Probably there is nothing like prohibition to arouse mans inter. est in his wifes hair tonic.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Probe ply the main reason why no body lives a fat man is because he seems to get along so we'll without it.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Juneau has had surfeit of comic opera in her municipal affairs It is time try business methods more.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Always Apins Atilla.
(U. P DiSnatch)

The Spartacans are becoming more and more disorderly and art continuing their gorilla warfare.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Vote for Dolly" Cray the Citizens Ticket and Peace and Prosperity.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Keep your eye on the Teikhell district Some fine properties being developed that section and ii will be heard from.-(Valdez Miner)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Ole Hanson. Mayor of Seattle, gives notice to the Bolsheyiki that he will run the town Good for Ole Washington Post.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Ouch!

A nagging dame is Mrs Carp. She's thin, and she's not young; And. while her elbow is sharp, You ought to hear her tongue.
 -Uuke McLuke.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
BITS OF Y-PLAY By Luke McLuks
 -@ 4g Copyright by Cilci1naa
 Enquirer

Keep Your Face Closed Don't be a gaw)l,"
 Says Old Man Hire;
 "The more you talk,
 The More you tire" How They Love Each Other q take a two-hour beauty slee1 every afternoon" said Mrs. Flat. You should make it much longer my dear" advised Mrs. Catt. "Wh. not try about eight hours?'
 Orful! The cost ofthings is fierce, l VOW, It gives a fellow fits; We find a silver dollar now Is worth about two bits.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Of bath tubs, wash bowls and fin ger bowls.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

.zs snS' sTs'sS S'aoSrHET 5ass3ss1 91So . s2asr ~ y; $: $; 6 dio, Main Street near " W
 Front, beginning pm. Each Shriner may invite a Mason and ladies; all Nobles invited and requested to wear the Fez. Informal
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

At this distance it looks like 9 Spartacide is a Bolshevik who has read a book.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Though as lady's faults and such We do not like to harp; She whets it on her teeth so much Her tongue is bound to be sharp.
 -(Newark Advocate)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Horrosl

J. V. E. Hopes that the Drys will
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Our Daily Special

Our Daily Special Your Time Is Always Valuable When The Other Fellow Is Doing The Talking.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Tips from Texas

(Dallas News) If the truth could be discovered probably it would be found that the
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
"l Noe Hugh"

"I Noe Hugh" Go up to a certain man irtD6tan ford, Ky, and ask him his pane and he will smile and reply Huge Noe"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

reason Alexander thought he had conquered everything was because he wasn't a married man.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Catching
The Truth
Great Fighters

Great Fighters
 Moxey tells us that two Irishmen were having an argument about war and third Irishman came in just in time to hear one of the debaters an nounce that General Grant was the greatest fighter in history.
 "Gineral Grant" said the third Irishman, with contempt. "Gineral Grant, the great fighter! Why, old lawn L. Sullivan cud bite the nose off Gineral Grants face,"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Names Is Names

B. We'll Done lives in Boston Mass.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Entered as second class matter November 1912 at the postofice Juneau, Alaska under the Act or March 3, 1S79
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26
Orful! l!

Then It Happened q wonder if you could" unused the Rummy, as he lit a cigarette. You wonder if you could what? demanded the Barkeep, as he reach cd for a baseball bat. Why, if you wake up in the morn ing with a fuzzy face, 1 wonder il you could say that you feel down in the mouth" replied the Rummy as he headed for the door.
 ss &sE No matter what or who you are, This rhyme hits you all, so halt; You don't have to look very far When you want to find fault
 ? Ns#s
 Catching 'Is insomnia catching?" asked MT Smith.
 "Fll say it is,' replied Mr Jones When our baby cant sleep no onf else in the house can"
 The Truth You'll find this is the truth, l think So don't get mad or have fit; Though you can drive man t drink,
 You can't drive him away from 1t
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Published every evening except Sunday by the EMPIRE PRINTING COMPANY. at Second and Main Streets Juneau, Alaska.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Authorized Local Agents nouelas and Treadwell Guy Smith; Thane, L. O Peabody: Perseverance, R. o. Egeand.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-26

Telephone Tor Editorial and Business offlces' o'4
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
II You Need a Medicine
You Should Have the Best

Have you ever stopped to reason why
it is that SO many products that are ex-
tensively advertised, all at once drop out
of sight and are soon forgottene The
reason is plain-the article did not fulfill
the promises of the manufacturer. This
applies more particularly to a medicine.
A medicinal preparation that has real
curative value almost sells itself, as like
an endless chain system the remedy il
recommended by those who have been
benefited, to those who are in need OF it.
A prominent druggist says "Take for
example DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root. Q
preparation I have sold for many years
and never hesitate to recommend, for in
almost every case it shows excellent re-
suits, as many of my customers testify.
No other kidney remedy has SO large q
SALE"
According to sworn statements and
verified testimony of thousands who have
used the preparation, the success of DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root is due to the fact,
so many people claim, that it fulfills al
most every wish in overcoming kidney,
liver and bladder ailments; corrects uri-
nary troubles and neutralizes the uric
acid which causes rheumatism.
You may receive a sample bottle OF
Swamp Root by Parcels Post. Address
DR.. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N, Y,
and enclose ten cents; also mention this
paper. Large and medium size bottles
for sale at ali drug stores.--Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
A SUMMER COLD

A cold in the summer time, as every
body knows, is the hardest kind OF
cold to get rid of. The best and quick
est way Is to go to bed and stay there
IL you can, with bottle of "Boscheea
Syrup" handy to insure a good nights
rest, free from coughing, with easy eS.
pectoration In the morning.
But If you can't stay In bed you must
keep out of draughts, avoid sudden
changes, eat sparingly Of simple food
and take occasional doses Of Boschee's
Syrup, which you can buy at any store
where medicine is sold, safe and ell
cient remedy, made In America for more
than fifty years. Keep 1t handy.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Mininu In Korea,

BY q decree of the governor gen.
eral, the Korean mining ordinance has
been amended so as to eliminate the
royalty on gold, silver, lead and iron
ores or alluvial gold and alluvial iron.
The exemption of royalty will not ap-
ply, however, to special mining con-
cessions which were granted before
the date of the mining ordinance.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
AMERICANS
MAKING GOOD
AT SIXTY-FIVE

Don't worry about old age. A sound
man is good at any age. Keep your
body in good condition and you can be
as hale and hearty and able to "do your
bit" as when you were young fellow.
Affections Of the kidneys and bladder
are among the leading causes of early
or helpless age. Keep them clean and
the other organs in working condition,
and you will have nothing to fear.
Drive the poisonous wastes from the
system and avoid uric acid accumula-
tions. Take GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules periodically and you will
find that you are as good as the next
fellow. Your spirits will be rejuye-
mated, your muscles strong and your
mind keen enough for any task.
GOLD MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules
will do the work. But be sure to get
the original imported GOLD MEDAL
HARLEM Oil Capsules. They are re-
liable and should help you, or your
money will be refunded. For sale by
most druggists. In sealed packages
three sizes.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
SkeptlcaI Jury.

An Idaho lawyer tells of case tried
in that state some years ago, on which
occasion the judge, an fastener who
desired to display his learning, In
structed the jury very fully, laying
down the law with the utmost authori-
ty. But the jurors, after celebrating
some hours, found themselves unable
to agree. Finally the foreman asked
for additional instructions.
Judge, here's the trouble" said he.
'The jury wants to know If what you
told us was really the law or only
Just your notion."-Harper's.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

women Mrs. JOHN KoPPELMAHSrJ, r.
No. /, Mclean, Nebraska.
. This famous root and herb remedy,
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Conn
pound, has been restoring women of
America to health for more than forty
years and it will well pay any woman
who suffers from displacements, in
flammation, liberation, irregularities,
backache, headaches, nervousness or
''the blues" to give this successful
remedy trial.
For special suggestions in regard to
your ailment write Lydia E. Pinkham
Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass. The result
of its long experience is at your service.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

concerned they may only recruit at
present up to 200 men for each sena-
tor and representative. In emergency
the maximum organization could be
Increased to 800 men for each senator
and representative. In a circular let
ter Secretary Baker says:
cit is the desire of the war de-
partment to re-establish the National
Guard on firm and efficient basis and
to obtain in the commissioned and en-
listed grades maximum cf.men with
service in the United States army
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

society had him
officer
bachelor POSSIBLY General
exception mother will preside his
of the military
academ
good
rapid promotion
family brother the
Medal
personal gaany the his regiment up Missionary
ridge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

For several years General Macarthur
was stationed in this city as junior
member of the general staff. When
the United States entered the war he
was made the medium in publicity
matters between the wai. department
and the corps Of Washington CORE
spondents. lie was success as a
publicity man.
Washington society felt an unus-
ual interest in General Macarthur,
because admittedly ne is one of the
handconact men in the United STATES
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

the New Mexico Idaho Mississippi headed west Not
California Oregon and Washington their arbors powerful
holding
policy
while
American naval strength been divided
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

To achieve that
both officers and enlisted
participate will
military efficiency
of reorganization"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

the FilipinOs' pea lot independence
followed the recent hearing accorded
the Philippine commission at joint
session of the house and senate COM
mittees on insular affairs. 1t trans
pired that few, if any, of the Repub-
Iican or Democratic members of those
committees had been sufficiently i'm
pressed by the representations of the
delegates to take a stand in favor OF
freeing the islands at this time.
The general conclusion was that
- =; +b;c direction should be
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Shave With cutIcura Soap

And double your razor efficiency as
well as promote skin purity, skin COM
fort and skin health. No mug, no
Shiny soap, no germs, no waste, no
irritation even when shaved twice
daily. One soap for all uses-shaving,
bathing and shampooing.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

offered OF the VI "
institutions Oh
which nave
wards
conditions restored
committees
legislature forced
the majority
Of n seeking independence.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

to q III
women who suffer
from any functional
disturbance, as it
has done me more
good than all the
doctors medicine.
Since taking it I
have a fine healthy
baby girl and have
gainedin health and
strength. My hus-
band and I both
praise your med
so;po - oil c,,Hoxs,ov
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Madam and Her pou.

MdudTn dfIU TTET bUg'
Mr.. Styles-That dog of yours gets
more like you every day.
Mrs. Styles-My dog like me?
eyes, dear"
"Why, what do you mean?"
"Every time l do something he
doesn't like he snaps ut me."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
BILI0USNESS
Caused by
iid-Stonlach

If people who are bilious are treated ac1
cording to local symptoms they seldom set
very much better. Whatever relief is obs
tanned is usually temporary. Trace bilious
ness to it's source and remove the cause and
the chances are that the patient will re-
main strong and healthy
Doctors say that more than 20 nom
organic diseases can be traced to an Aold-
Stomach. Biliousness is one of them Indi-
gestion. heartburn, belching, sour stomach,
bloat and gas are other signs of acid
stomach. EATONIC. the marvellous modern
stomach remedy, brings quick relief from
these stomach miseries which lead to a long
train of ailments that make life miserable
II not corrected.
EATONIC literally absorbs and carries
away the excess acid Makes the stomach
strong, cool and comfortable. Helps diges-
ton; improves the appetite and you then
get full strength from your food. Thousa ndB
say that EATONIC is the most effective
stomach remedy in the world. 1t Is the help
YOU need. Try It on our money back lie
not-satisfed guarantee. At all druggist
Only so cents for big box.
ATO
D CF0R YOUR ACID-SToMAcD
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Where He Was Weak.

George disliked to do errands and
often received a scolding for his
thoughtfulness in his performance of
the little duties that fell to his lot.
"Why don't you give more thought
to what you are doingY his mother
asked him.
81 don't know why don't do things
right, mother" answered George
meekly. II guess I'm not very good
thoughter."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
EXCEPTIONS.

"Don't you admire Mrs. Jones' win
ming ways?" mot when l play bridge
at her house."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

OO9'tt sf'S t"HtfO'Os1 FNNFFt''Ss
81 rented a house today"
"Good. Didn't the landlord object
to your six childrenw
II don't know. / talked to him so
fast that he forgot to ask me whether
or not we had children"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Philippines Must Wait While for independence

W leaders have reached decision TO
indefinitely independence
Phippn Rpubcan leaders aga OIL
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

strategic value of the canal is to be
fully tested when Admiral Hugh Rod
man moves his armada through to Pa
cific waters. And for the first time
Americans of the far West are to see
with their own eyes the full pomp and
power of the navy that has been their
pride for years. The main base of the
Pacific fleet will be in Puget sound,
Washington.
The composition OF the Pacific
fleet tells it's own story. The three
most modern ships of the line in the
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
NaticHa Guard Must Be Reorganzed With Care

n ETAs
limit they desire far federal aid
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Fifty-Fifty Pacific Fleet Is New Naval Policy

Pacific marks epoch in American naval history
with exactly half
the western seaoard For the first time also m
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

A Catastrophe.
"He was on fire with love for Anna
when he called"
"NVhat happened"
"Her father put him out"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
TO ALL women
Who ARE ILL
This Woman Recommends
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound-Her
Personal Experience.

Mclean, Neb.-"I want to recon-
mend lydia e. Finkham's Vegetable
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Macarthur Youngest West Point Superintendent

superintendent the
Douglas Macarthur
position
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

The ETHIOPIA
Solomon
returned
religion living God From that
Of of Constantine Ethiopia became
the surrounding Moham
medans heathens
liberty ndepend
andpr American people"
her apparent
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

from their empress, Waizeru Zaud1tu.
The Dedjazmatch Nado was the ora
tor. His fellow ENJOYS were the Kan
tiba Gabrou and the Alto Herouy. The
Alto Sinkae was secretary and inter-
prefer. The ENJOYS wore red velvet
robes, heavy with gold and silver
trimmings, and large silk turbans, en-
broidered with pearls. The address
was in part:
"More than 5000 years have
elapsed since the establishment OF the
Ethionian Government In the time of
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28
Enjoys and Rich Gifts, But-No Queen of Sheba

Washington presentation the
"A
bearing gifts
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

Many friend in need is allowed to
remain in that position.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-08-28

Its Class.
us forestry a science?"
ut ought to be an art. Isn't 1t
where all the wood comes from?'