Omaha daily bee., 1919-10-28
Raymond Hitchcock ON the
Ea1rOpean Situation
Karl r. Kitchin in "Now."

Poor bankrupt Europe" sighed Raymond
Hitchcock. Poor bankrupt Europe A room
for two in any cozy corner At the Ritz at least
FIVE quid and suit Of clothes 10 times that
| figure That's London. Multiply it by two or
three and you have Paris. Yet there is : wait
ing list block long at every London hotel
You can't get a table at the Ritz unless you
know the head waiter personally and even if
you were wearing barrel it would be three
months before any Bond street tailor would
deliver you pair of trousers.
Poor bankrupt Europe" the comedian
sighed again. "You can't buy seat in any
playhouse except for weeks in advance. The
! jewelers. and silversmiths are running three
| shifts and lot of aristocrats don't know where
| their next Rolls-Royce is coming from. Yet
we Americans are told that we must help bank
| rupt Europe. I've Clipped in TO three different
| collections today for INDECENT Europeans. 1t
was so funny / couldn't resist.
| "The truth of the situation is that those who
| are at work abroad do not want to leave their
| positions-because they are making 50 much
| money, and those who are not at work have no
| intention of resuming it. These latter have
ported and as their governments encourage
them in it by paying them for not working it's
impossible to do anything with them.
when ! was In London ! went to my old
tailor and ordered suit Of clothes. Fifty
pounds he asked me- and said he couldn't de-
liver it for three months. And he explained
the delay by the fact that his coatmakers only
worked when they felt like it. l encountered
the same situation when tried to have mo-
tor car repaired. I was told that few of the
mechanics might work half day the following
week Even the offer of bonus had no effect
have never received any OF my laundry from
the Paris hotel where stopped. Old residents
of the French capital told me that laundry was
often returned nine months after being sent
out. And yet we Americans over there are
ted tn 70 neon1A IN piy
money to them, and to make their lot easier.
There's only one way to deal with this sit
| uation. When we have a lot of INDECENT rela-
tives who won't work there's only one thing
to do. ! know from experience: used to
in and month out and write me for money.
And like big boob used to give it to them.
But one day / got to thinking how foolish it
was for me to work the year around while they
loafed So without warning / cut them all
off. For year l didn't give nickel to an
INDECENT relative, no matter how pitifuy they
pleaded. And what was the result? At the
end Of the wear didn't have single INDECENT
relative. Did they de' l should say not.
They all went to work and waxed exceedingly
fat as the good book says It was the best
thing that ever happened to them.
'And that's just what we should do for our
INDECENT European friends. Cut them off with
out nickel. They'll soon go to work if we
stop feeding them And they'll be better off
for it.
81 had peek at Belgium where this cho-
mage. as they call it. is hourishing. The work
men have been getting IS francs day TO do
nothing, naturally they won't go to work for
20 francs. as they figure it is only francs
more for their days work | met few aris
tocrats who were anxious to earn little money.
One Roumanian prince begged me to take him
as chorus man. But | found it impossible to
get any workmen to do anything When l
suggested to the burgomaster of Brussels that,
it might be good idea to close the schools and
teach the children to go to work he said: We
denend upon the generosity of your great coun-
try. America!'
1T would be interesting to see how much
could collect over there for some of our l.
Won't-Works. I don't believe we could col
lect nickel except among ourselves. We
have told them SO many times how much we
enjoyed giving that they're convinced
Needless to say I'm glad to be home again
and if the Statue of Liberty ever sees me again
she'll have to turn her head around to Broad
way and Forty-second street. If | hadn't been
married man I would have knelt down to
the dear lady and begged her to be my wife
and the mother of my children was SO glad
to get back to America"