Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-09-18
No Wonder Germany Quit
By MAJOR FRANK @. MAHIN
OF the Army Recruiting Station

"Once in a long time the Boche
used to treat us real nice. Up in
the Vosges mountains, where things
were usually nice and quiet we had
a real good time. The dugouts were
good, we had electric lights, water
was plentiful, and the chow came in
plentifully and regularly, so every
body could get full tummy twice
a day. The scenery was perfectly
beautiful and during four years the
French had figured out defense sys-
TENS that were so good one had
time to really enjoy the pure noun
tain air and the sights. OF course
sometimes the air wasn't quite so
good after a few hundred gas shells
had come over, and people used to
get killed or wounded every once
in a while. 1 went eleven whole
days without having a man hit, at
one time, but that was too good to
last and the next couple days made
up for those eleven days of immun-
ity. There was just enough doing
to make life thoroughly enjoyable.
If the Boche hadn't shelled us oc-
casionally life would have gotten
monotonous and stale especially as
there wasn't a woman, even an old
peasant woman within miles. In
fact we didn't see a woman for six
weeks at one stretch and everybody
knows how dreary life gets without
n chance for any female society un-
less things are happening fast
enough to keep your mind on some
thing else. And also since we were
over in Germany all along the front
in the High Vosges the French had
helped themselves to furniture
years before and many dugouts had
real chairs, tables and beds in
them. Wherever possible the dug
outs were put on the reverse side
of a hill so the Boche shells would
go sailing harmlessly overhead and
burst we'll out in front These dug
outs would have vine clad porches
on which we would loaf and bet on
where and when the next shell
would strike. AS the Boche had
worked up a real good Hate for
the Yanks we seldom had to wait
very long to settle bet. In one
sector in addition to everything
else we had a charming little noun
tain lake covering a couple of
acres with q fiat bottomed boat in
which to go riding. The water was
bitterly cold in the lake, but for a
few minutes it was fine swimming.
Immediately to the North of the
lake was quite hill, the south side
of which was honeycombed with
nice large, airy dugouts. room
enough for battalion but only oc-
cupied by a company and a few
casuals. The Boche couldn't reach
those dugouts with their shells, but
they used to pepper the lake with
commendable frequency. And ii
was thanks to the Boche that we
used to be kept fairly well supplied
with nice fresh fish out of that lake
Every time a shell burst in the wa
ter it would kill some fish, as an
explosion under water always does
Out we would go in our boat and
gather them up. 1t was probably
from there that the glad tidings
were spread up and down the
front that If you had an offensive
grenade-containin ounces OF
T. N. T.-and a stream with fish
in it you were all set for a meal
Pick a nice likely looking pool
pull the safety pin of the grenade
and heave it in the water; five Sec
onds later every fish in the poo
was floating white side up. dead as
door nail, and all you had to dc
was wade out and gather your
crop. The trouble Is it kills little
ones as we'll as big and is therefore
wasteful way of fishing. It got
the goats of thrifty French peasant
SO completely that they got law
passed prohibiting fishing witt
grenades, but naturally there was
no one up in the trenches to keeI
one from fishing that way If yor
could find a stream with any live
fish in it. Another thing for which
we had to thank the Boche wa:
their generous use of fire works
Frequently for weeks at time we
didn't have to shoot off n flare a:
the Boche were so scared we were
coming over they would keep NJ
| Mans Land lighted up all night
with their star shells. Then every
few minutes they would send III
some kind or other of rocket
evidently to tell those in the real
that the twice accursed Yank'
| hadn't gobbled them up yet 81
| each night you could sit out on p;
hill side and have perfectly goot
fire works display, as long as yol
didn't forget yourself and start t.
light a cigarette If you did hav,
n momentary alteration 1t onl!
took a couple of seconds for tn,
Boche to convincingly inform yo'
that you had better move and NOV,
fast IL you couldn't remember u
AL times that he was there"