The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1919-08-15
COAXING YOU TO SMILE
Nobody Home

Nobody Home
II is an American characteristic
declares President Boyard of the Uni
versity of Southern California, 'to
ignore things which are close al
hand and to strive for what is just be
yond our reach. The New Yorker
dashes across the country to see Los
Angeles and the Yosemite and never
sees Niagara Falls, and l know sew
eral people here in Los Angeles who
have climed the Alps, but have never
been to Catalina. And take our news
papers. We read them every day and
sometimes twice Yet how few know
anything about them. Too many of
US are inclined to be like the know
it-all woman who read from her even
ing paper that John Smith died Sat
Urday. But he died Friday inter-
posed her husband. He died Satur-
day interposed his wife, 1T says so
here. / thot it was Friday myself, But
! went out and bought six more copies
of the papers to be sure and it was
the same in all of them, and they
wouldn't make the same mistake six
times San Francisco Argonaut.
The Discovery of America
A school boy in London turned in
this composition on Christopher Coz
lumbus:
Columbus was a man who could
make an egg stand an end without
crushing it. The king of Spain sent
for him and asked him:
"Can you discover America ?"
"Yes," Columbus answered, "If you
will give me a boat"
He got his boat and sailed in the
direction that he believed America
was. The sailors mutinied and insist
ed there was no such place as Amer
lea, but presently the pilot came to
him and said:
columbus, land is in sight"
"Well, it's America" Columbus said
When the boat neared the shore Co
lumbus saw group of natives.
as this America ?" he asked them
Eyes" they replied.
81 suppose you are Indians" CO.
lumbus went on.
dyes, the chief answered, and are
you Christopher Columbus ?"
81 am"
The Indian chief turned then to his
companions and said:
"The jig is up. We are discovered
at last" lie Pele Mele, Paris.
Bolsheviki Cynicism
"The bolsheyiki," said Uncle Joe
Cannon at a Danville dinner, "take a
cynical view even of marriage. A lit
tie boy said to one of our Danville
bolsheviki the other day, Father,
what do they call man who isn't
married?' "A bachelor, my son.
We'll, what does man call himself
after he's married?' My son, I'd
hate to tell YOU"
Pat and the Phantom
An Irishman awakening in. the
night, saw in his room what he took
to be a phantom. He seized a shot
gun, fired at the ghostlike object, then
went back to sleep. The next morn
ing he found that the phantom was
nothing but his shirt, which he had
hung over a chair.
"What did you do, Pat, when you
found out your mistake ?" asked a
friend to whom he told the story.
81 knelt down." he answered, "and
thanked the Lord with all my heart
that | was not inside my shirt when
fired. lie Pele Mele, Paris.
The Sporting Instinct
"What's the matter with this mules
shoes ?" asked the blacksmith. " put
them on the day before yesterday and
they look all right to me-"
"Never mind how they look. You
just take them off and put on others.
Me and Spriggs win stand the ex-
pense"
"What has Spriggs to do with it ?"
"We've got a bet on how many
times you can fool with that mules
feet before you get laid out" Chi
cago-Herald and Examiner.
According to Rule
"The German has a holy reverence
for rules and regulations" said Ad-
miral Sims in a recent talk with a
London writer. Zone of our Yankee
destroyers took a U-boat crew plis-
oner. Among them was a particular
ly square headed, lantern jawed Ger
man, obviously country pumpkin be-
fore he degenerated into a pirate. A