New-York tribune., 1919-09-04


You rascal, you're doing the same!
Was no fairer the flame that burned Ilium.
Cheer up, you're fortunate scamp,
Consider avuncular William
And Phryne, the vamp.
Speaking of deleting "obey" from the mar
riage service, as some of us were only two
weeks ago, it will be impossible to obliterate
from the engagement ritual "Oh, boy!" or
W. to that G.
Testing at scars is not confined, as q we'll
known playwright once thought, to the un-
wounded. Some of the best wheezes of the
war were made by the boys in the hospitals.
The Presidents voice, we are convinced, is
guaranteed for 10000 miles,
THE DIARY OF OUR OWN SAMUEL PEPYS
August 31-Early up, and to the office to
read my letters, but none came of any
moment. 10 Yonkers again, and carried
luggage into the city, and did this three
times, the third time taking my wife and
our kitten to the inn.
N1'P'N"'Oof - Vic OIICe, ana IOun0 CnCro
letters from three ladies asking whether I
dld not deem their eyes to shine with greater
spcndor than Mistress Marion Zindcrstcn's;
and the eyes of only one of them do, and
so 1 told her. To Forest Hills, and saw Will
Tldcn defeat Dick Williams, and II. Voshcll
and | wagcred that he would and gained
some currency thereby. To dinner with my
wife, and with Mistress Jane Muriin to
Brooklyn, and saw the show of the Actors
Equity; fairly amusing, but Miss Barry
morc's Juliet seemed without colour, and
Mr.. Tearlcs Romeo also.
2-Ran, and the tennis-match put off so
c. Riegeman and with Mistress Beatrice
to New Rochelle, and we shot craps for an
hour and | won 80; and then l to the CITY.
and had N. Levy to dinner, and he tells me
he has entered into partnership with his
father; and we had talk Of literary matters
till eleven, my wife being in gay spirits.
3-Rain again, and the tennis-match de-
1erred, so all day at my desk reading and
doing many small businesses. My Lord Wood
row goes this night journey Of the
country, and thos. that like him will con-
tinue to do so, and those that hate him will
not be won away from their hatred, such is
the inelasticity of the publick mind.
The gh-gneerale mark was reached At
Long Beach the other day, according to
faullne, who, at Castles in the-Air was
assessed $500 for four bottles of domestic
brew A cover charge of 81, it should be
said, included
Meat prices down. and vegetable and
fruit prices are coming. Before long hotels
may charge only 55c for canteloupe. instead
of G0c.
pubic Blamed for High Prices" saws
the Evening Suns headline. Prices will 90
down and stay down only when the public
is cXterminated
The strike is costing the managers money.
also 1t is costing the actors money. Can IT
be that the innocent bysittcr will be called
upon to make up the deficit?
A nlne-game world series would benefit tho
club owners of course. It's like the selfish
public to think of that, now, isn't it?
Fiction, and the Army Postal Service
Sir: Your contributor "Didone" asks how
'he nero OF whats the World Coming To?"
got letter in Paris when he was A. W. O T,
My crushing retort is to demand if (s)he
has never read Little Breeches," where the
answer Ito the query as to how the child
got himself transported through blizzard
to ShoepfOldO is "AnreIsiu
1t is simply disheartening to observe how
much latitude readers will give to Sir O1iver
Lodge, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Professor
Hyslop' and other writers of pure fact, and
how strict they are with US poor, strugglinp
fiction twsters
And now, goldurn it, I've got to trv to
hgure out just how the internal ictter did
get to him. Perhaps he never cot it at all
ana just lied to me about it to explain that
disgraceful spree he spraw.
RUPERT. HUGHES.
+. S.-My hero has just called me on tha
telephone He reads the Tribune. of conrso
and he is furious: "You pauvre poisson" ha
sad IN his quaint way "why will YOU always
get everything wrong? l distinctly told YOU
that when l was A. ". O. L. in Paris T
met Red Cross come-on who said that Anru
mad given him a letter for me because she
could not trust important a messapa +o
the mails He was planning to take it out
TO the trenches to me, but we met up in the
cafe and he handed it to me- | was still
sober enough not to try to read that letter
IN that crowd, so l put it in my pocket.
where found it when l came back to earth
the next afternoon"
This clears up the mystery, but leaves me
with another bunder to my credit. In such
a magnificent total, however, one more will
hardly be noticed r II