The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1919-03-04

not know II IS like an uncooked STEAK
Let your slogan be @plant a citrus
tree" 1t should be the duty and priv
iilege of every citizen of Marion coun-
ty for the next few years at least.
/ -
| We are glad the social status of
Ocala is not regulated by the same
standard that fixes the income tax.
While the "deaf and the blind" of
the masculine gender abideth, we no
tice that some of them (when they
think no one is looking) are keenly
alert to the beauties of the spring
time so extravagantly and tempting
| ~ displayed in the various shop
windows of the city. The Easter bills,
we opine, will renter an awakening
sufficient to the least of them that try
to camouflage.
Aunt Patty "done tole u.s. dat
Uncle Buck is sure busy with his
fishin' tackle these days, San he done
found new cistern to get bait
outer"
We wish tight skirts had never
come into fashion. We don't see the
consistency. of them "nohow" Be
fore they became the style, mission
aries could go to China to see that
the feet of the little Chinese girls
were unbound so they could walk Now
their sins are visited upon US, and
nobody can walk decently. However,
the comedy of the thing somewhat
relieves the strain.
$50
For dull evening there's nothing
so stimulating as a perusal of the
small advertisements in the Ocala
Evening Star. / culled the following
few days since: "Lost, December
&c, pair trousers going from Dr..
Smiths on South Second street down.
to Hunters Cafe. Reward. if called
for at Editor Benjamin's office
Wasn't anybody in the trousers.z-
Editor).
Old gag: Laugh and the world
laughs with you." but snore. and you
sc it alone.
A gentleman, having recently had
the good fortune to sell almost all of
his worldly possessions, said to his
wife the other day: "Sissie, you know
/ want to go down town mighty bad.
But do yon 'spose I'd better risk it?
Somebody might want to buy my
pants, then how in the world would
get home? 2"
Well, of all the mean thingsl Here
comes the Times Union Sunshine
Philosopher saying: "The heart pant
eth after the water brook, and the
suffraget panteth after the pants"
No, we only want equal ballot rights.
$50
The Lake Wales Highlander says:
"There are certain ladies who are in
favor of each woman having two hus-
bands, a social husband to accompany
them to parties and dances, and a
business husband to make them a
living" For pity sake, we wonder how
long the society butterfly would last
if business hubby went broke?
|
Pedestrians should not put all the
burden on drivers of automobiles.
The cars have right on the streets.
No driver wants to hit anything or
anyone.
| Future generations are going to
wonder why in the world their grand
pas didn't insist on underground
telephone wiring while Ocala was yet
in the heyday of its youth.
! Christian Science and a sick head
ache skipped territory and met at the
crossroads in the Uranium of one of
Ocala's well-known women a few
days since, with such force and fero-
city that the young daughter frantic
ally 'phoned for physician to come
Immediately, while the tiny son. scar
/ cely past four years, hoped on the
bed and with a pass of his tiny hands
over his mothers agonized face, said
| in tenderest tones, "Be calm, mother,
quick, be calm, and Diet yourself in
'hominy' with the world. Hurry and
Diet yourself in hominy' with the
world, mother"
| Says lady high in authority on
the art of exquisite dressing: 'HIf you
want to feel really rich and elegant,
get you a few yards of black tulle
for an evening dress and bottle of
block shoe polish. Dip small sponge
into the polish and over the surface
of the tulle make little smudge polka
dots-no, not poker, but polka dots.
Mount it over satin and, honey, you
will glisten like a Christmas tree
when you put it on. and feel like a
million dollars" (And she did and no
one was wise to her scheme).
| "Don't go near that calf" admon-
ished fond mother to her small son,
"a few mornings ago, as the colored
man tethered the little animal on the
side lawn to enjoy the green grass
s'Cause he will kick you to kingdom