, 1919-07-31
Sylvia and
Slang
o0
Copyright, 1913. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.)
BY GERALD 81. ETT1ENNR

and philosophy, though it must be con-
fessed right here that although Sylvia's
tastes lay that way, her mind was not
equal to it. She just understood such
things partly-not that Sylvia was
stupid. She was really one of the clev-
crest and most conscientious stenog-
raphers in the employ of Ellis & Co.,
and was fair to look upon but that is
all that could be said of her offhand.
Madge was a very different type of
girl. New thought" was farthest from
her mind most of the time, and as for
beautiful thoughts and the art of liv-
ing in perfect harmony with every
thing and everybody, well, she just
didn't think of life In that way. Get
all the enjoyment out of everybody and
everything and give everybody and ev-
erything all the enjoyment of yourself
as far as 1t is within your power, was
the code that Madge lived up to un-
consciously.
She was the life of the office and
popular with everybody but Sylvia.
Sylvia could not make out Madge at
all. At times she seemed good-heart-
ed, and, IN unexpected occasions, came
out with real philosophy that astound-
ed the other girl, but whatever good
impression that made on Sylvia was
quickly banished by Madge's use of
slang.
That was the %bugbear of poor Syl-
Was life. She would just sit back and
gasp and hold her head when Madge
1~N I~&e@ ~. % L@u ,nr-tN-s ~
the English language. 81 should o
ry,", Have a heart" "I1l say that it
is" and such horrible expressions were
mild to some of the crimes against
Webster tfat floated so easily from
Madge's pretty, laughing lips.
The others said Madge was original,
but Sylvia could see no other interpre-
tation of such a manne of speech but
commonness and utter lack of propri-
ETY..
1t would not have been so bad, Syl-
via thought, If Madge had confined her
slang to use among her associates, but
when she persisted in using it even in
the presence of the manager and the
president of the firm, that about
capped the climax as far as Sylvia was
concerned. What did 1t matter If
Madge could express herself better
than any other girl in the office just
by resorting to slang? Even when
Madge was the means of securing an
extra twenty-dollar bonus for the staff
Sylvia could find no excuse for her.
The incident is worth relating.
For two weeks every stenographer
in the employ Of Ellis & Co. worked
nights to finish some special work. OF
course a promised bonus was looked
forward to-anywhere from thirty to a
hundred dollars was figured on by ev-
cry girl. Picture their disappointment
when the bonus turned out to be a
paltry ten dollars each. Every girl
(Sylvia included), excepting Madge,
got angry and mumbled to them
selves about the unfairness of the
thing.
Not so Madge. The minute she dis
covered the extra ten dollars in her
pay envelope she was back to the cash
Ter, and said, in a ton loud enuogh for
the manager and president to hear:
well, some people are so mean they
would sing through their nose to save
the wear and tear on their false teeth.
Now, Mr.. Ventilator," (the cashiers
name was vanslater. but Madge had
persisted in nicknaming him from the
first), "do you think this a fair bon
US? Or" she added, perhaps the firm
Is giving us our bonus in installments."
Madge was never %impudent. Slang
from her lips to the ears of anybody
but Sylvia sounded perfectly all
right. She was gifted with a personal
ity that could almost have put across
profanity.
Before Mr.. V~anslater could volunteer
an answer to her surprising question,
the manager had come from his office.
"You are quite right, Miss Wilson,"
he ~apologized. "There was a mistake
this week.. An additional twenty dol
lars will be included In the envelopes
next payday"
"How eucyliptis of you'll" 1t was a
senseless expression, but isn't all slang
s~enseless? And then the way Madge
said it, 1t expressed a whole lot.
Sylvia just gasped, while the others
ionged to applaud. Every one of them
knew that such an outburst from any
one of them would have won instant
dismissal, but with the exception of
Sylvia they realized that Madge's
personality counted more with the firm
and somehow her slang seemed to
make up part of that personality.
Poor Sylvia ! It was bad enough to
have to work with a girl that used
slang in about every fifth sentence
without having a man who used slang
In love with her. Dick Levery's slang
was not originate was just ordinary
gosh-ding-blished slang that did more
to irritate the object of his affections
than all the boxes of candy and con-
fessions of devotion could ever do to
pacify her.
At first Sylvia believed she cared for