Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-07-18
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man walked into a Chicago soft drink par
Ior, bought soda and dropped tablet into
the glass, explaining to the dispenser that he
had discovered something that killed all the
other substitutes. He will be buried by the
county.
Sheriff Joseph j. Barley has been removed
from Office by the governor of Michigan for
selling a quantity Of 6onfscated liquor. Did
the governor expecr him to drink it himself?
Shortly after marriage man acquires the
habit OF listening.
1t is said the stockingless fad, introduced
on Broadway by some girls who don't care,
made great hit. But not with women, how
ever.
Secretary Lansing says he feels he is need
ed in Washington. Many folks will believe that
the sec. must be i'll.
Dr. Gunsalus told his congregation in Chi
cago that the nation is drunk on money. Well.
what folks going to do with prohibition in
effect? The doctor gives pretty effective an
swer to the claim that prohibition doesn't
prohibit.
If a man is pushed for money he is usually
showed to the rear.
A Chicago minister advocates the extreme
penalty for women wrongdoers. Would Jesus
have done that?
More furs are being worn by the folks who
can afford them this summer than ever before
in the history of the country. And next winter
half the population will be suffering with cold
not able to buy coal.
One hundred sixty-seven newly married
couples returning from Europe on an Ameri-
can transport were ordered not to spoon by
the captain He says his orders were respect
cd nOSSibly while he looking
One seldom realizes that he is wrong until
he is found out
Did you ever notice that the man who
whines and the man who wins are not the
same?
An evangelist was arrested in Texas on
white slavery charge. His defense is that he
and the woman are one in the eyes of God and
that man has no right to interfere. This would
be gay old world if that boys doctrine could
be popularized.
At Mckinney, Texas. a. man of SO and
woman of 70 who were sweethearts in their
youth have just married. Pretty good proof
that the love germ can't die.
Seller, shortstop for Bloomington, has been
canned. If were in a frivolous mood he
might refer to him a fizzle.
An insurance company advocates rife prac-
tice conducive to longevity. Not to the OBJ
Jects at which the cartridges are aimed, but to
the shooter 1t claims that it has been scientif-
cally proved that the trapshooter develops a
steady nerve, strong and quick acting mentality.
-
What pity that the truth is the most dis
agreeable thing one can say about some people!
-o- = ~
Few Toledoans bought tickets for the Will
lard-Dempsey fight. Toledo took the fight as a
speculation on which to make money. And
they made it. The suckers came from else
where.
The Paris fashion Of women appearing in
public bare legged has struck New YORK.
That's nothing. You go to any of our BATH
ing beaches close by and see darn sight mo.e
than New York has offered.
A war veteran in London was startled when a
toy cannon cracker was thrown at his feet and
exploded. Yet he didn't finch as the German
machine guns belched about him. Like the
woman who'll strike man in the face if he
insults her and will collapse at sight Of a
mouse It's purely physiological.
IN San Francisco a limburger cheese caused
a divorce action. The plaintiff ought to have
strong evidence.
IN France talcum powder forwarded in 100
pound sacks was mistaken for -four and used
in BAKING bread. When the soldiers who had
partaken Of the bread learned the facts it is
SAID the thought they had consumed powder
caused them fguratively to blow up
A courteous New Jersey conductor on an |
Erie train has received a legacy of $4,000 |
from a commuter as an expression of apprecia- |
ton for his kindly treatment of me and other |
passengers when he had no personal interest |
in us beyond his official duties" 1t doesn't |
cost anything to be pleasant. You never know
where smile or kindly word will bear fruit |
A wifes yearning capacity is usually far /
ahead Of her husbands earning capacity.
]. NJ C.