davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
C < t Horse Thief Banished By the Motor Car

TN the effete east, at any rate, the U automobile gave the death blow to that picturesque and dangerous pro- fession of a more spacious time, horse-stealing. The horse thief has become almost an unknown quantity in a large part of the country, all though in the southwest he is still heard of occasionally, as rule a poor spirit, belike Mexican peon, hardly worthy the attention of a self-respect- ing vigilance committee.
 From Skippack, Pa, comes the news that the Montgomery county court has been petitioned for the dis solution of a corporation known as the "Skippack Society for the Recov- cry of Stolen Horses and Other Property and the Apprehension of Thieves" The society was originally formed, it seems, chiefly to run down horse thieves, but the automobile and better police laws have made it no longer necessary.
 Your modern motor bandit, who < often operates in stolen car, is d shrewd and desperate villain who will take long chances and frequently gets away, but he is an entirely differ ent type of criminal from the old fashioned horse thief, who was sell dom very far in advance of the moose of retribution. When caught, partic. ularly in the western states, he was speedily strung up to the nearest tree Knowing that he took his life in his hands when he stole horse, he usual ly died game. He was a far more : picturesque individual than the .notol bandit and many stirring tale o1 the west would lose some of its thrill without him. He was a comrade il crime with the Cattle thief and ofter "detached" a herd of steers on hi own account. The expert horse thie was esteemed of low degree by th' old-time western gambler, but botl : have been of use to many writer O graphic fiction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Many Warm Attachments
 Formed By Roosevelt

51T7HE late Colonel Roosevelt was
 U man whose friendships were nu-
 merous and varied. He knew men in all walks of life, and knew them well. His personal magnetism was unde- niably great and his keen interest in all that pertained to his fellows made Ihim a delightful companion, whether inc was consorting with the crowned heads of Europe, the political poten- tates of America, humble friend
 and neighbor at Oyster Bay or a
 sturdy guide on one of his hunting ex- petitions. Strange as it may seem | in such cosmopolitan figure, the colonel did not have a keen sense of
 humor Had he possessed this trait
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
LIKE MpLITKE SAYS

This is a speedy age. It often hap pens that aN fellows wife is running around with an affinity before he fin
 shes paying the installment man for the furniture
 And what has becdfne of the old-fash toned man whose friends used to pre- sent him with a gold headed cane?
 When man does bury the hatchet he digs it up often enough to keep it
 from getting rusty.
 A little thing like insomnia won t keep a woman awake at night the way a husband who talks in his sleep will. Do not squawk about your lucN, Maybe if you had all that is coming to you you would be in jail The leader of the Anti Cigarette league has, just announced that: The war is over and the cigarette is again a deadly poison" It is this kind of bunk that makes sane man mad at any form of prohibition. The cigarettes did as much to win the war as any one think we know of And if the cigarette wasn't poison to our soldiers is ism
 poison to our civilians. And, at that, we do not smoke cigarettes, but we do | hate bigotry. 1 The war has done one thing. In the i year 1919 man will have to have more I than a shock of wild hair and a dirty collar to make people think that he is a genius. ] When steer gets the mouth disease you have to kill it. But when d man gets the mouth disease the law pro- 1 tects the darn pest.
 | Women are always defending other women and claiming that they are bet 1 ter than men, But you may have no- l ticed that when a woman has fur
 nished room for rent she always stipu- 1 lates: For Men Only"
 Don't holler because you are not get ting what you want Be thankful thai you are not getting what you do mol want.
 A man won't wear hat unless othel men are wearing one just like it. 4 woman won't wear ae hat if she see'
 another woman wearing one just lik' it.
 man usually has sense enough t'
 quit drinking when 1t is his turn t
 treat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
gro CAMoENs IN MEsoporAMIAp

Kermit Roosevelt in Scribner.s J Two small black tonnes that saw th.
 light TU In Lisbon scores of years ago, A wanderers friend have often proved Amid the desert or the snow. When first l turned the yellowed leaves Twas 'mong the palm trees of Brazil. Now in the caliphs land find k Their magic unabated still And when the sweltering troopshipk
 streamed Through Ormuz strait meath moltenl
 sky, A
 The sea-worn galleons of Camoens seemed there at anchor riding hig h\ Upon the housetops of Bagdad I've read of Inezs iucl<less fate, And mid the scorching desert dust Heard stout Da Cana S sailors prate In long sea watches. of the bout
 That once was held in London town, { 'Twist twelve of Englands sturdy
 knights
 And Portuguese of far renown. 4 Now in pursuit of cautious Turk
 With kit reduced to the absurd, One volume still I've brought and rettl Among the mountains of the Kurd And so I've scrawled these vagyant'
 lines
 To offer thanks where they are
 due, For many weary moment cheered By these companions tried and true.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
AUSTRIA'S LAST BATTLE

likely to be trampled underfoot. One fate Very few of the Red Cross cars had managed to get across the river at that time, owing to the few bridgess< which were passable.
 It was about next to impossible tok turn the car around, but in the end WI back-tracked across the big bridge jus as day was breaking. Only a short time after we passed over it the bridge was destroyed. / That made a nastyN situation. If the troops had been com pelled to fall back, they would have4 been in a perilous position but there2 was no falling back. In proximity 10 the river the Austrians had put up
 stiff fight, and they disputed the pas-
 sage of the first British and Italiaa
 regiments most stubbornly. but, wheny finally routed, they fell back so fas | that they had no time to wreck the vil-V lages which had sheltered them, even if they had been so minded. By thdJ time we reached the bridge the Aus- trians were well on the run with the allies driving hard on their heels.
 You have to get some fen out of all this tra gedy or you would go crazy, I laughed when the British Tommle j taking me for an Italian. as I was ! wearing an Italian helmet and travcil i ing with the Italian cinema section.'- would make motions to me to talk, i their picture. I would pretend notl l to understand them; then they would
 say "Maka de picta" and I would< shoot off a word or two in Italian. But | they were insistent in their demands, J l so I would get off few more Ita- ian phrases; then when they pleaded l to "Maka de picta,'' would say: "WhyN the hell don't you speak English" and I effect my escape, while their amuse y comrades gave them the ha ha.
 And so we finally reached the very
 front lines at the little river, Monti q
 cano. with it's very awkward steep
 banks. Then the cavalry came along.
 and crossed and we went along with
 them. The firing had nearly ceased
 at that part of the line just then, ande
 we really went ahead of the front line 1 with the mounted troops. /
 We got several tips that an armis
 tice was in the air. and an opportu-] nifty might come for us to go to Trento, fso we back tracked 40 kilometers
 of blisters on our feet that ever q doughboy worked up. Strange to say
 we found our military chauffeur with 5 the car exactly where we left him
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

James H. Hare. in Leslie's.
 @ N the first night of the big u U push on the Piave I went out
 " in a small car with Major Rava, in charge of the Italian cinema. Ow-
 ing to the congestion of the roads we were unable to make much head
 way, but we did get across the pom toon bridge On the Austrian side we found the roads in exceedingly oad
 shape, as the Austrians had not Kept
 them in repair and the rainy weather,
 combined with the terrific shelfing they had been subjected to by the allies, had cut them to pieces so badly that we found great difficulty in making any progress Twice we got mired
 once 1t took the combined efforts Of dozen soldiers to rescue the car, and the second time one wheel sank into
 small but exceedingly muddy she'll hole, so that about half the Italian army gathered to assist us The mud was a foot deep and traffic was passing both ways with no one to direct it, consequently there was suc- ] cession of traffic congestion Ambu- ! lanca men were carrying wounded; | dispatch riders were trying to force
 their motorcycles and single wheels 1 through the muck; lorries loaded with
 supplies were overturned, and through the maze plodded the mule trains car rying ammunition and the thousands
 of men passing to the attack. It is difficult to convey the idea to anyone l who has not seen a black night on l the Piave at first hand. | We had almost given up the car for 1 a bad job and had about decided we | should spend the rest of the night in 1 the mud-it was cold one at that
 except for the shells-when we man.
 aged to relesse the machine. As we
 were about to start away l turned to address a few remarks to soldier wio | had apparently been watching us, | without offering to help. The man
 was reclining in 8 graceful position on his side, so l stepped over him only a
 yard or so away, and was mortified to find that he was dying. His low moan- ling had been inaudible in the confusion
 of noises It was impossible for us to
 help him, and everybody else twas ir the same predicament as ourselves. Ali had troubles of their own, so the poor fellow passed away right there in the mud as I was trying to make him more
 comfortable There were many sueu
 cases: if a man went down he wa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Regarding the Official Weather Forecaster

A CITIZEN of New York writes a H letter to the Sun, in which he complains of the misleading forecasts of the local weather man.
 New York was full of sunshine for an entire week, but day after. day the official forecast was for Train tomor- row." Instead of rejoicing in the fact that the tomorrows never came he growled because, as he intimated, the weather bureau only guesses,
 The goosebone prophet, in the opin. ion of the fault-finding New Yorker is far more reliable in his prognosti
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

"doughboys" was because of the pro 1, test against the silly name of sam mies.' which the regulars especially resepxed. Tanks" should be the reaN affectionate designation of our fight ing men. but some of the men from the1 south seem to object to be known as
 9anks The British sailors invaria- ply term our men Tanks" and George( M. Conan was not far from the truth when in his most popular of all songsl over There" he announced that 9Th haf Tanks are coming"
 Baltimore Md K 6
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Treated We'll In England.

T am enjoying myself greatly just meeting my old friends said Lieut. Hugh Martin, who had charge of the great construction work of the air drome at Portsmouth England.
 "The Americans were most cour- teously treated by the English. A friend of mine was telling me how one day he was walking about Winchester cathedral and an Englishman came up and asked him if he cared to be shown through, and upon his saying lit would be a pleasure. later learned than Rudyard Kipling''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
pr. Hobbs Great Preacher.

T am sure that after, Birmingham has heard Dr. J. R. Hobbs. who has just been called to and accepted the work as pastor of the First Baptist church, that the public will find out that a really great preacher has been added to those already in service" said Dr. S. Y. Jameson. the enlistment secre- tary of the home mission board of Atlanta, Ca. who was here attending the Alabama Baptist state convention. q first became. acquainted with pr. Hobbs during my presidency of Ouichi- ta college in Arkansas"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Thou knOw'st, great son, The end of wars uncertain.
 -Corio1anus.
x x T.

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God, Thou art my Father, and I am Thy child. May the sense of 1t strike new chords in my being. May I thrill with it as I have not before. May rest in my Fathers love unafraid. and in my Fathers house with the liberty of the sons of God. For Christ'x sake. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Campaigns Calling
 For Team Work

U are ahead of us and each will call for thorough organization and the best sort of team work.
 The first is for Syrian and Ar menian relief. It is scheduled to start tomorrow. The suffering among the Christians in the near east, where Turkish rule has long been unspeak- ably cruel, should arouse our people to sentiments of the most whole hearted benevolence Thousands of Armenians and Syrians have been the victims of massacres, and thousands more have perished from starvation. The appeal for relief should meet with ready and generous response. A large fund must be raised in this land of plenty and it should be raised with as little delay as possible.
 The next campaign will be that for the new drive for the sale of War Savings or Thrift Stamps. Everybody is expected to invest in the govern ment's modest securities.
 In last years War Savings canvass children as we'll as men and women
 of limited means contributed largely
 to the success of the, cause, but as
 the amount sought to be raised this
 year greatly exceeds that of 1918
 every county and every school district
 must be highly organized and the team workers must be we'll on their mettle Patriotism must be keyed up just as lit was during the war and the habit of thrift must be inculcated as never before. Every child that learns the lesson of thrift and the virtue of self
 denial will be all the better for thei,
 discipline in the years to come.
 Arthur c. Crowder, the state di
 rector of the War Savings campaign
 lis perfecting his plans for the drive
 which will be inaugurated on Benja Imin Franklin's anniversary, Januar, |17. MT. Crowder has the right to in Isist upon earnest cooperation in every
 quarter of Alabama. He himself i. brimful of enthusiasm and his leader
 ship cannot fail to be an inspiration The third campaign in view will b' that for the fifth Liberty Loan Th'
 treasury department has not an nounced the particulars, but billions : must be raised. Jefferson county vii have an opportunity of distinguishing itself again by passing the goal. Tha drive must bring out the zeal and tn tireless effort on the part of the peo pie that characterized their activit, when former Liberty Loans were out standing in the minds of the public. : Now that the war is over, there ha been waning not in patriotism, bu in that solidarity of interest mani fested everywhere while the war wa in progress.
 Whatever apathy exists must b ] shaken off. Here in Birmingham W s should see to it that each of the com ling campaigns spells a 100 per cen e achievement.
 h l x E #
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
woUI,D RE REpREsENTED.

From the Boston Transcript,
 couple of old codgers got into a quarrel and landed before the local magistrate. The looser. turning to ms opponent in conductive frame of mind. cried
 'Tll law you in the circuit court
 I'm willin'," said the other.
 And I'll law you to the supreme court" sIll be thar An I'll law to 'ell!" My attorney will be thar" was the calm reply.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
A FAIR MARXING

From the Drumright (OlSla) Derrick.
 Notice-I am going to do my best to quit drinking. Now l want my friends to not offer me anything else to drink, and the first druggist or bootlegger that sells me anything l will report them to Sheriff Whiteside.- J. Reid, the carpenter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
WHAT NEVER DIES

From the Houston Post.
 Heres the world covered with white and Tom and Jerry among the missing, :" walls The Birmingham Age-Herald. "oh. the heart that has truly loved never for gets. but as truly loves on till the close
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
LAZY MANS GOLF COURSE

From the New York Telegram.
 We congratulate Watertown, Mass, on it's 179-yard golf course, with five holes, and haye no sympathy with coarse souls who call it tiddledy- winks outfit Everything must have beginning
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
MISSING.

MISSING. The old water wagon In days that are gone Had passengers many Who failed to stay ou. At most every corner A few would descend And into booze parlors Would hurriedly wend. But matters are mended Reformers all say; The old water wagon Proceeds on it's way No use to get off just To pick up the whip. And dangerous liquors To quaff or to sip. No more on each corner A barroom invites And tempts a poor mortal To wicked delights. A snug little drus store Is all you will see, N Or a nicotine palace Where lighters are free. Of Srapejuice there's plenty, And stogies to cheer, But the sign of the stein doth No longer appear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
Attended Billy Sunday Meetings

'T have just come from Texas" said Rev. Catt Smith, who recently moved back to Alabama after having lived in the west for more than score of Tears. .-s.-~ f- a
 "WhiIe [ was at Fort Worth I got to attend some of the Billy Sunday meet ngs and he packed and damned the great Coliseum. There is no doubt about his drawing power and when he gets his crowd he certainly tells them some mighty plain truths One may not always agree with his theology or his way of expressing himself, but no one who sees and hears him can doubt that he is a tremendous force for righteousness. The best evidence of this is the fact that the promoters of organized vice dread for him to hold a meeting in their town"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
THE sARDINE SPEAKS

From the Louisville Courier-J Journal.
 Said one sardine to another: We're packed like passengers in a street car on a cold day. and without any more ventilation than street car passengers enjoy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Major Browns Experience.

q had quite an experience in the guard unit" said Major Lucien Brown, who has returned home and is once more in citizens clothes.
 My detail took me all over the southwest. though I spent most of the time, at New Orleans. It was our duty to guard the wharves and terminals and bridges If the war had been kept up we had been informed that we were to get chance of being sent abroad I wish l could have had the trip and the experience and the chance to serve. Of course. now that the war is over, I am glad to be able to re- turn to Birmingham and get to work for myself" 4r
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
meube. of the Associated Pres.

Ths Ape-HeraId is the only morning and sunday newspaper in Blrmins ha Ill carrying the Associated Press patches. ,.,,
 The Associated Press is exclusiVe1tt entitled to the use for puolica'ion al, news dispatches credited 10 " not otherwise credited in tnls papo and also the local news
 herein.
 All rights of republication or sp dispatches herein are also reserVeu'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
PLEASE PASS THE PRESERVES.

From the Winona (Minn.) Herald.
 Wanted-Plums, rotten and .aii. Viii pay ooc per bushel, 56 pounds to -bushel. Deliver to 2l5 Kansas st.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

Washington. bureau. 2o1 Hioes oA'A ing. s,rs..t
 European bureau, HenrielA~ CoYent Garden. London.
 Eastern business otflce' building, New ! ork city wes'ei ,,ic. ss.,, ness office. Tribune building, Shicas The S. q. Beckwith SpsciaI Asen~'' agents tor foreign advertislns'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
LIKE AN OLD FRIEND"

LIKE AN OLD FRIEND" q thought you greeted your caller rather effusively."
 "So did" What was he sellng?' "Can-openers.
 Good heavens" T know it seems strange. but hes the first agent who has been around here in nearly three years"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11
DIsINTEREsTED.

Patrons are not permitted to tip wait CTS in this restaurant" Now I understand something,"
 "What?'' 'You>can' dissipate that far-away look n a walters eyes by merely calling. or your check"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

PRESENCE OF MIND.
 Have you resolved to quit smoking? Well" said the man who was louns- ing in smoke emporium, T promised the wife I would quit buying cigars, but, of course, if my friends
 . 'T see. I just came in to get light
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

"You>e cant dissipate that far-away look En walters eyes by merely -callins1 or your check.
 YOU KNOW HIM.
 The tireless uplifter
 We have with Us yet,
 Still loudly exhorting.
 And striving to get
 His name in the papers
 By hook or by crook;
 And failing in that, he
 Will write you d book. GETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT. Quite right, Gloriana. The last stanA ga of our verses to Johnny Crapaud in yesterdays issue, suffered somewhat. in a linotype barrage. It should have been
 But let monsieur do as he please, { At himN no fun we'll poke; Despite his kisses and "Oui, oui's, Hes ceased to be joke, HOPELESS CASE Cheer up. man! Cheer up. Don't talk to me 4 "Where's your philosophy" That's in my wife's name, too EASY PROGRESS. whats your grievance against MT. | Gadspur?" 1 T said wanted to go somewhere and make a name for myself,' replied soen-' 1 MT. Dubson "Wel1?"
 "He suggested the Fiji Islands as a place where he thought I could keep at least two laps ahead of my nearest com I petitor." PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

oh. you busy. prosperous business men who came from the country years back to make your fortune in the city, how long is it since you have been rao- bit hunting?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

You have had some exciting times when (yoG were playing the market or if devotee of the card game which has made America famous you have crooked your elbow and raked in big pot, but it wasn't equal to the thrill you got the first time you ever ran a rttb- bit into his hole and dug him out and proudly carried him home to show to the neighbor boys and later to proudly strut out into the kitchen and as a special favor ask your old black nanny" to cook 1t for you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

Come on now, some of you rich and respectable fathers in Israel whose hardest work is clipping coupons, or trying to figure where you can go to get a new pleasure or find at least a rest from your boredom, what woulc you give to be a barefooted boy once again with your favorite dog, and your chum. and a pickaninny to start across country after breakfast and to come home at night tired out but happy with a bag or string of Molly Cotton- tails?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

Sure I know that now that you drive nigh powered cars live in steam heated residences. patronize the the atres, play golf and lounge at the club : that you reminisce about fox hunting. but keep quiet when it comes to chas- ing rabbits
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

But. way down in your boyhood mem ories you know that in spite of the slurs cast on rabbit hunting as being the sport of "poor white trash ana Triggers" that you got more real pleas ure out of 1t than anything you did around the farm. Now. 'fess up Isn't it the truth?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

I have done my share of following the hounds. but take 1t from me the days out in the open upon which look back with fondest dreams arc the ones when, together with lot of other white youths and lot of dar- kies along to beat the sagebrush and tote the rabbits. I followed not on horseback but the dogs over fields and branches and hills with the sight Of white tail just ahead as the dogs ran with their heads close to the ground
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-11

James H. Hare. in Leslie's.
 @ N the first night of the big II U push on the Piave l went out W in A small car with Major Rava,