Baxter Springs news., 1919-05-23

replenish their stock, far be It from
US to have the Kansas brand Of hogs
suffer.
What great day Il would be II the
Germans decided TO sign the treaty
the same day the American flyers
reached England. 1t would certainly
be a different ending to what Kaiser
Bill had pictured out when he started
all the trouble.
It takes a brave fellow to venture
out in his last summers light trousS
ers, especially after he had put on
about fifteen pounds Of weight during
the winter.
Someone is always hunting trouble;
just when the country had decided the
status Of the common corset along
comes the Government expert and
asks when a girl becomes a miss. We
would answer that by saying that
girl becomes "amiss" when she tries
to intrude upon her older sisters
front-room company.
There is only one thing worse than
Blue Monday and that's rainy Blue
Monday.
We should like to meet and look
over a man who would deliberately
advertise for a lost hoe. There are
plenty of garden hoes laying around
idle without the necessity Of spending
perfectly good money advertising for
lost ones.
This is the time of year when faith
er digs out the scythe and hangs it up
in the old apple tree until mother
threatens to leave home if the path
along the clothes line isn't cut out.
We had rather have prickly heat in
August than to be one Of the fellows
who will have to tell their grand
children why they didn't wear the kha-
XII in 1917 and 1918.
"Why did you name your latest
progeny 0leander?" We asked old
Pert Nye, who has thirteen Of them.
"Well, my wife is strong for orna-
mental names and that's about all that
we had left to decide on"
Some of the churches are raising the
question of sex equality insofar as the
right of deacons and elders is con-
cerned. The woman at our house has
not only been deacon and elder for
some time but also custodian Of the
royal funds, as well.
A scientist has just discovered that
fish are intelligent. We had observed
also, that they don't bite on every
thing that comes along.
Anxious inquirer: "Will someone
tell me how to get rid of moles ?" Ed
itor: Your inquiry is too brief-do
you mean the garden or face variety?
The only serioug thing about those
Bolshevists is that they don't know
when to stop mobilizing.
Paradoxial as it may appear, the re-
turn of hundreds of soldier boys from
the war is going to make that many
designations among the school teach
ers.
Austria, having turned states evil
dence, naturally expects the Allies to
let her off with a light, sentence. If
it's just the same to the Judge, she
had rather Germany was removed
from the court room during her trial.
The markets OF late snow prairie
hay selling higher than the choicest
clover, timothy or alfalfa, any one of
which are higher in food values. The
fellows who sold last fall for $25 a
ton are kicking themselves for not
holding for $40; with new standards
set up during the war period it is go
ing to be hard to go back to fifteen
cents q bale where it used to be.
This is the time Of year when the |
coal barons leave for Florida and the |
ice kings return from their hiding |
places to minister to a suffering pub
lie.
We sincerely trust the fashion max
ers of Paris won't attempt to carry |
that stockingless fad to America;
what with low neck gowns and short
skirts it's mighty hard for the poor
merchants to make ends meet
at the hest