The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1919-07-10

1 ~
a school for mothers to which
every woman should be committed
for a six months term on the eve of
| her childrens marriages. Needless
10 say, II 10 reform school with
discipline that makes any other penal
Institution look like gay and care
| free summer resort.
It Ia impossible TO say how such
an experiment In foroibly intoxicating
virtue in the breast OF a woman with
married children would turn out
Criminologists are much in doubt as
30 the ethical value OF correctional
institutions. The mother-in-law
might come out OF the mother-in- law
reformatory with all OF her vices
shorn from her. She might come out
with a fresh supply OF mother-in- law
| tricks and nagRings that she had
learned from hardened mothers in
law who were serving their third or
fourth sentence.
| However, there 10 no denying that
the crying need OF the day Is for
some place, or some way, in which
women can learn the gentle art OF
| being an in.law. II Ia the n-law
| question that Ia at the bottom of
nine -tenths OF the divorces. 1t Is the
in-law problem that causes more suf-
| fering and heartbreaks and tears than
all the other sources OF human mis-
cry combined.
And the problem of the in~law is
an essentially feminine one. Men
seem to have solved 1t successfully.
Most fathers law and sons-in-law
are able to smoke the pipe of peace
| together, and to exist on neutral, even
| II not affectionate, terms with the
/ l. Lad no
| by marriage. But when two women
| arc brought together in the relation
| ship OF in-laws there Is something
about the artificial connection that
seems to bring out everything that
is mean and catfish in their dispo-
sition as hot poultice brings out the
| measles.
They hump their backs and spit at
each other at sight, in spite of the
fact that they are perfectly aware
that by so doing they are going to
| ieopardize not only their own happi-
ness, but that Of the unfortunate
man who Is the bone Of contention
between them, and whom both of
them think they love.
Certainly, a school for mothers l.
law that would teach them TO deal
| with forbearance, with tact and dis
|
tiers law is a much needed insti-
tuition. and it Is not hard to suggest
| what its curriculum should be.
1t should begin with combating the
old fallacy that when a woman's son
marries she gets a new daughter, and
| when her daughter marries she gets
new son. She doesn't. This mira =
Gle no more takes place psychically
than 1t does physically.
Your own children are used TO all
of your little ways and know that
your nagging simply means your
over anxious mother love and inter
est in them. Therefore they can for
give 1t. To your in-laws, who are
not used to you and have no affec-
ton for you, your nagging is simply
an intolerable affliction not to be
borne.
Also FOR your own children, you
make a million excuses for everything
that they do and don't do, but you sit
in stern judgment on the shortcom-
ings of your in-laws and they resent
your unjust criticism accordingly.
Therefore, learn as the first lesson
in the mother.in-l law course that your
FLAWS are strangers, and treat them
with the reserve and politeness that
you would show to strangers.
The second lesson that should be
instilled into the mother-in-l laws
mind is that 1t is a crime, that should
be punished with death, for her to
butt into her in-law's affairs. Every
man and every woman have an in
alienable right TO run their own
homes in their own way without any
advice from the mothers on either
| side.
If mothers could only make up their
minds to the heroic sacrifice of letting
their sons-in law eat what they like,
smoke where they please, worship
their own gods and go to their own
clubs, without any suggestions from
them, and II they could only rise to
the heights of permitting their
daughters in law to have the kind OF
wall paper they fancy, and use their
best china every day and bring their
children up according to books. in
stead of in the old-fashioned way, 1t
would do more to bring about the
domestic millennium than anything