davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
GETTING INTO LONG PANTS

Well, folkses, how dow you
like the size and general appear
ance of The Fool-Killer this
time?
I thought it was old enough to
put on long pants if it was ever
going to.
So here you are.
After being a little dinky 4
column sheet for nearly ten
years, it has suddenly blossomed
out into the regular siX-column
newspaper size,
This enlargement is going to
cost a good deal, both in material
and labor, but | think it will be
worth all it costs.
I have made so many promises
to enlarge the paper, and then
failed to do it, that | just took
a fool notion to slip up on you
this time and enlarge without
saying anything about it before
hand.
Promises are all right if kept,
but performance is better.
And here is the PERFOR-
NANCE stuck right -ker-dab un-
der your nose for you to look at
Now, honey, if you are willing
to help me keep it up to this anC
make it still better, just come
trotting along with all the big
clubs you can get.
You furnish the chink, and II
furnish the chat.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
"USEFUL IN WAR. -

There is q healthy fuss on
hand among the army bosses as
to how the army air service shall
be conducted in the future. They
all want to make it useful in fu-
ture wars" but they can't agree
on any plan of action.
Huh! How about our League
Of Nations that is going to pre-
vent future war? Looks to me
like the whole army shebanI
might as well be junked if oul
League is going to do such Won
ders.
But I reckon if the angels
should come down and give
every one Of the army snobs a
heavenly harp, they would go
around hunting for some way to
make them useful in war"
Don't that tickle you?
It tickles me.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
JUDGE IVES AGREES WITH
NE.

Hon. W. NJ. Ives, of Lake City,
Fla, is a noted lawyer and
Judge. Being thoroughly train
ed in law and having a judicial
turn of mind, Judge Ives ought
to be able to understand what
the language Of Scriptures
means. It is a Judges business
to decide hard questions, and to
decide them RIGHT. Judge
Ives will now proceed to pass
sentence on the Immortal soul"
doctrine:
Your paper gets better. The
devil is the author Of the inher-
ent Immortality. Genesis 3:3-4)
And Rome and the whole church
accepts it. And preachers, in
stead of believing I Tim. 6:19,
Romans 2::7, and [ Cor. 15:53-54
have theology to contradict God.
| tell people a man cannot get in
to He'll (as the orthodox use the
Word) until after the Judgment,
(Acts 17:31,) and he ought not
to desire to go to Heaven,
Psalms 115:15-17.) Preachers
say l hold a dangerous doctrine,
which is calculated to ruin all
churches. They teach, however,
that Satan told Eve the truth
(Gen. 3:4.)
w. M. IVES,
Lake City, Fla.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
DID YOU KNOW THIS?

Did you know that when a
cannon is fired it does not make a
bit of noise? The noise is made
by the ear-druns Of the people
who hear it. The very heaviest
thunder that ever rolls through
the heavens does not produce q
particle of sound. The sound is
produced in the ears Of the peo-
pie who hear it. Ii there was
not an ear in the whole universe
it would be impossible for any
noise to be made.
If every eye on earth were
put out, the earth would be in
total darkness. The sun might
shine Just as bright as it does,
but there would not be any light.
The light is not made by the sun,
but by the eye that does the see
ing.
II all the human beings on
earth were dead and every hui
man brain mouldered back to
dust, there could not be any hui
man intelligence nor thought mol
memory Of anything that had
been in the past. Human con-
sciousness does not come from
the outside and cannot exist Oh
the outside. Conscious contin-
uity Of life cannot exist without
memory, and memory cannot ex-
ist without the physical brain OF
which the events have been re
corded. Therefore, when the
body dies, memory ceases; anC
/ ~ N memory ceases there is nc
more conscious connection with
the experiences Of the past.
/ If an Immortal soul'- cannot
! remember the past it cannot be
conscious that it is the same sou
that once lived in a certain hu
man body. And if it cannot know
that, it is not in a position tt
know very much of anything
else.
That whole botched-up theor!
about souls living on and know
ing everything after death i
the biggest piece Of nonsense
ever heard tell Of.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Whenever one Of our big
statesman or big popular leaders
Of any kind undertakes to shoot
off his lip on some Biblical sub
ject, the result is such a collos-
sal display of ignorance that it
is highly amusing.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

from the Otner. ana L Jnank
God today that [ am loose from
both. 1
LISTEN! HEAR ANYTHING
The Laymen's Movement,
which made big promises about
converting the world by q certain
date, and with half-concealed
contempt for the work of the
preachers through the years of
the past, has collapsed, as it
should have done; and a better
movement, which Includes the
preachers, has come to the front.
Out Of this latter movement the
SeVenty-fve Million Dollar Cam
paign was born, and Big Busi-
ness has had the sense to put
the preachers in front. Now
you are going to hear something.
Charity and Children, Thom-
asville, n. C.
For pure hunor the above is
a gem. And the thing that
that makes it so irresistible
funny is the fact that it seems to
have been said in all seriousness.
! Charity and Children is a
Baptist paper, and it's editor Of
course thinks that the Baptist
creed contains all truth and that
no other creed contains any. He
thinks that the sun rises and
sets III the Baptist churchyard,
and that everything else is in
darkness. He seems sorter glad
that the Laynlen's Movement
failed to convert the world by a
certain date, and he rejoices
that better movement, which
includes the preachers, has now
come to the front.
And what has the "bettel
movement" done that it deserves
such great praise?
Why, bless yer gizzafd, honey,
it has started out to beg Seven
ty-fve Million Dollars to be used
in buying up high-class populari-
ty for the Baptists.
Money is the main object with
the Baptist church as we'll as ali
the rest, and any movement that
promises to rake in a big pile of
the long green is what they are
after. It don't make much diff
ference whether they have any
truth OF any spirituality OF not
MONEY is the important
thing.
And just look how Innocent
ly this editor lets it out that
Big Business is. the power be-
hind all these movements" He
says it just as solen2nly as if he
thought that was the proper
way for it to be, and reckon he
does
But to me it is very funny
What do you suppose Big Busi-
ness cares for religion, anyhow
except as it can use religion anC
the preachers to feather its OWL
nest? And about the worst
thing that can be said Of tht
preachers is that they will sub
, NIT to letting Big Business ust
them in such way.
Is it possible that the churches
and the preachers have exhaust
ed every other means of holding
t the respect Of the people? An(
] is that why they have to hool
up with the money power ant
7 buy the Big Business brand O
/ guaranteed respectability?
Ny stars alive, what a pas
> churchanity is coming to.
t Nov you are going to hea
: 5omething!" sWeetly Warbles Tn
t optimistic editor of Charity an
). Children. Yes, for one thin,
: you are going to hear the ours
: of God pronounced upon all sue
money-grabbing schemes.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
MY TWO DISCOVERIES.

have made two discoveries. At
first I didn't realize that they
were so closely related, but now
I have come to see that my two
discoveries are full-blooded
brothers-or sisters, whichever
you prefere. They depend on
each other in a very vital sense,
and each proves the truth Of the
other.
| was raised up in the ortho-
dox fold, both politically and re-
igiously. Just swallowed what
they gave me and never took the
trouble to think any for myself
until I was nearly thirty years
old. It was only after | had
started The Fool-Killer that I
began to think for myself. The
mental effort required in editing
the paper was what got me start
ed. Quite naturally [ had to
read and study and keep more
closely in touch with world
events than I ever did before.
And being by nature just a big
enough fool to be honest with
myself, [ was soon travelling a
mental road that the old moss
backs said was dangerous. But
[ knew better. [ was actually
on the road and seeing it for my
self, and [ knew it was a good
road. The mossbacks had new
er travelled the road-had never
even seen it-but had only
HEARD that it was dangerous.
[ felt safer in trusting my own
eyes than in trusting the "hear-
say" of people who had never
been there. So [ went serenely
ahead in my new path Of
thought, and have never for q
moment been sorry Of it.
My first discovery was that
Orthodox Politics was rotten,
false and dangerous. [ saw that
all the old political parties were
lined up with" the money power
and that their sole aim and ob-
ject was to serve the special in
terests of the rich and get fat
Offices for themselves. During
campaign times they shed lots of
crocodile tears over the "deal
peepul" and promise them all
creation with a fence around it
But there is not one drop of sin
cerity in all their salty Wopes
and they have no intention OF
keeping their fair promises
when they make them.
Neither the Democratic MOI
Republican party has ever stop
: ped and asked itself: What can
( | do that will reduce the amount
Of suffering in the world and
make the living conditions of all
, the people easier? No-sir-ee
Bob! The only question they
ever ask is this: What can [ dc
that will get me the solid sup
= port of the rich and powerful in
terests? What special favors cal
t I give the capitalists, bankers
| manufacturers, spectators anC
war-lords in exchange for thei1
support? Thus they swap anC
= trade with these powers Of dark
! ness to keep themselves in Of
: flee, and the "dear peepul" pay
?. the freight.
That was my first great dis
covery, and the moment tht
e truth dawned On me [ was done
=. with old-party politics forever.
f My next great discovery came
s a little later and a little NOR
e gradually, and it was this: Or
5 thodox Religion is just as mucl
like Orthodox Politics as tW
s peas in q pod. It is rotten witt
e hypocrisy, pride and selfshness
" and is also living adulter.
J with the money power. It
y + theology, borrowed mostly fror
e paganism, has been gotten u
especially to scare the ignoran
masses into submission, an
-e make them satisfied with thei
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Looky here, if there is anybody
in your neighborhood that don't
take this paper, go after 'em.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Cnefe is 'land,
What was that I heard about
Postmaster General Burdensome
going to resign? Say it agin
please.
"Mexico will be normal in
ninety days." says d headline.
Wonder who is going to start the
trouble this time?
It seems that the crime of hav-
ing ideas" is what's the matter
with the Bolshevists. Armies
mustn't have any ''ideas," you
know.
Wars and labor troubles and
all their attendant evils will not
cease until "better service" in
stead Of more profit. becomes
the standard Of government.
They have built a big power
dam on q river in Alabama, and
they have named it 'Wilson
Dam" But lots of people will
say it backwards.
You can set it down as a sure
fact that no capitalist paper
wants any true facts about Rus
sia these days. But there is a
great demand for lies on the sub
ject.
Kill one. man in private life
and your are q murderer. Kill q
hundred men in war and you are
a hero. But | have my. serious
doubts about whether God looks
at it that way OF not.
[ want every person on my
list again who ever did take The
Fo0I-Kiiiel' anywhere back in the
past. II you happen to know
one who isn't on, show him this
paper and take his sub.
IrV Cobb says the good report
Ell is the one who gets the facts.
Yes, and L reckon he is still
''gooder". when he learns to sup
press the facts and hatch up lies
to suit the BOSSES.
They say that in South. Amer
ica the United States dollar is at
a discount Of about 20 per cent,
Hooray, let's all go to South
America. Here at home the dol
lar is at a discount Of about IS
" per cent.
No, Hiram, it is not Bolshevist
propaganda that is causing the
radical wave to swell so in this
country. It is the fool conduct
of the bosses in trying to sup
press everything that crosses
their path.
They tell us that peace" has
come, and yet from reliable
sources I learn that more than
twenty wars are this minute 60
ing on in the world. This must
be the peace that passeth al
understanding"
It is seriously reported = I
that the nonarchists of Russia
have gotten together and offered
the throne to a young water
sprout Of the Romanoff family
Sorter like a dying chinch trying
to will the bedstead to a louise.
Any line of teaching that tht
bosses disapprove of is "propa
ganda," but anything that they
want taught in the interest O
their own selfish schenes-that;
"education," It's d mighty fin,
: thing to have q few scare-WoTd
, ready when needed.
i, The Greensboro Daily New
! calls the United States eth
: heavyweight among nations.
, Maybe SO; but you drop a heav.
! weight in q bog OF soft mud ant
: it viii sink deeper than q ligh
+ weight. You can study out tn
: moral for yourself.
It is a favorite pastime Of tn
2 capitalist press to refer to Sc
] cialists as "dupes." But tha
D don't fool anybody. We all kno0
! that the real "dupes" are tn
poor ignorant working peopl
t who are wiling to be eXploite
g and skinned by the plutes an
! still trot after them.
Y The life of the average sleepy
0 headed person from now on i
g going to be Just one big surpris
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

A few more hauls like tha-
and Henry 4d will be rich.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

They tell us that peace" has
come, and yet from reliable
sources I learn that more than
twenty wars are this minute 60
ing on in the world. This must
be the peace that passeth all
understanding"
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

No, Hiram, it is not Bolshevist
propaganda that is causing the
radical wave to swell so in this
country. It is the fool conduct
of the bosses in trying to sup
press everything that crosses
their path.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

They say that i'll South. Amer
lea the United States dollar is at
a discount Of about 20 per cent,
Hooray, let's all go to South
America. Here at home the dol
lar is at a discount of about IS
per cent.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Perhaps Henry will take that
six cents and buy him a 4d.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
PARAGRAPHS

Now just watch prices decline
There seems to be a rat in the
ratification.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

The life Of the average sleepy
headed person from now on is
going to be Just one big surprise
after another. I would hate to
be of those who are asleep and
have to get such a rude awaken
ing. Folks, you had better wake
up now, before it is too late.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

It is seriously reported = /!
that the n0narchists of Russia
have gotten together and offered
the throne to a young water
sprout of the Romanoff family
Sorter like a dying chinch trying
to will the bedstead to a louise.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Ireland is a country where
there is nearly as much ''ire" as
there is 'land."
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

You can set it down as a sure
fact that no capitalist paper
wants any true facts about Rus
sia these days. But there is a
great demand for lies on the sub
ject.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
WHITE men HELD FOR Ig..
KILLING NEGRO FARMER
FATHER AND SON in RAINsRIDoE
JAIL, CHARGE WITH KILLING
WARREN GREENLEE W E

Bainbridge, Ca, Sept 5.-The pre-
liminary hearing of Will and Luther
Barfield, of this county, for killing
Warren Greenlee, a we'll known negro
farmer, has been held and bottle men
were bound over under heavy bond.
Failing to give this bond, they are
still in jail Warren Greenlee was a
negro farmer who owned seven hun
dred acres of good land and the men
who killed him are white men, faith
er and son, and were trespassing on
the lands. The reports of the killing
are very considerable feeling in the
matter. At the preliminary hearing,
the defendants claimed that Greenlee
was firing on them and they shot
him. The dead mans wife the only
witness takes issue with this state
ment
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
SHERIFF WOUNDED BY NEGRO
Jumps From Buggy and Escapes
Track Dogs Used.

Sylvania, Sept. 16.-Sheriff c. n
Scott had close call yesterday after
noon about a mile and half from
town wheIB he and County Policeman
Kennedy held up two drunken negroes
who were on the highway in buggy.
When ordered to stop, one of the ne
groes, whose name is Ponder, jumped
out of the buggy and commenced fir
ing at the officers with pistol. One
of the bullets clipped Sheriff Scott
underneath the nose, making slight
wound The negro lodged behind a
house and then ran. into a nearby bay.
Policeman Kennedy shot at him three
times, but it is not known whether he
was hit or not. Dogs were put on his
trail last night, but up to this time he
has not been caught The other ne
gro was unarmed. but was lodged in
Jail ror being drunk on the highway.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
PRICE OF CHICKENS AND
EGGS DUE TO RISE

London, Aug 21-1One hundred
feet above one of London's busiest
streets, and within 200 yards of BiBg
Ben on the roof of the Institute of
Civil Engineers, there is one of the
best kept and most prosperous poul.
try farms in the city.
1t comprises -96 hens. housed in
three spacious eoops, but during the
greater part of the day the hens are
allowed to roam about the roof at
more than eighteen inches high the
ems never attempt to reach the
ground. contenting themselves with
mounting the top and there announc-
ing their satisfaction after an egg has
been added to the recrod they have
been making.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
TICK ERADICATION SUPPORTED
Lidestock Association In Laurens Fa-
Nors Cattle pippina.

Vors Cattle Dipping.
Dublin, Sept. ia strong endorse
ment fthe cattle tick eradication
work now going on in this county has
Seen given by the iLAurens County
Livestock Association which has re-
Gently been organized here. This en-
dorsement was given as a result of
the recent opposition that has de-
velopedl against the dipping of cattle
in this county, against which some of
the farmers threaten now to secure
an injunction. g
1t is claimed by those opposing the
dipping that their cows have refused
to give milk since being dipped, The
members of the livestock association
state they have never had any trou-
Bile with their cows when dipped, and
think if the owners would use little
care in dipping their animals there
would be no opposition to the work.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17


bearing the ioaptieA, The Explosive
lBniiitt," seores both Premier lloyd
George and Mr.. Bullitt Regarding
the. latter, it says:
: President Wilson seems to have
picked the wrong person when he
took this explosive journalist into the
employ OF the American peace mis-
sion. A journalist who is treated lin
this way has no business to explodei
II is against the first laws Of the
game"
The Post also expresses the opin'
ion that il Secretary Lansing indorses
MIR. Bullitt's statements regarding the
secretary's views sit will be all over
with the treaty as far as the United
States is concerned"
Declaring the denial itself untrue"
and worthless, The Herald, the labor
organ, claims to be able to confirm
Mr.. Bullitt's statements
Some newspapers raise the question
as to who authorized the denial as
neither Premier Lloyd-George or his
secretary. gPhtliR Kef, attaches his
name to it, aoeoding to Paris reports,
both refuse to be Interview on the
subject.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
+
LAND. OF ENGLAND Il!.INp.t
= CHANGING OWNERSHIP

London, Aug. 21. Correspondence
iof the Associated Press 1.-The land
of England is changing ownership un-
der the operations of the land settle
ment bill. Large tracts are being ac-
quired by county councils which are
selling them in small holdings to per
sons VIII omake annual payments for
them.
Until the enactment of the measure
England was the only country in Flu
rope which denie dto the smaller cul
tites to enable them to purchase their
holdings. In Germany Sc percent of
the cultivated land was owned by the
men who worked it while only 12 per.
cent of the small agriculturalists of
England owned their own farms.
Before the war the government
energetically opposed the policy of oc-
cupying ownerships for Englishmen,
Welshmen and Scotchmen, but helped
Irishmen to own the ground they till.
Thus far 100000 holdings containing
19,5OO,OOO acres have been sold to
Irish farmers, leaving only about SO,.
900 holdings to be sold. But the Eng.
lish farmer is just as anxious as any
to own his own farm, and under the
new law he will soon do it.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
LONDON is STIRRED IL.
BY BULLITT'S STORY

London, Sept: 16.-An tfauthoriz-
ed" denial of statements made by
William C. Bullitt. formerly attached
to the American peace delegation, be-
fore the foreign relations committee
of the United States senate, which is
printed in London papers this morn.
ing. it attracting more notice here
than Mr.. Bullitt's evidence before the
committee. The opinion is general
that explanations are imperativelr
needed
London morning hapers expressed
in their editorials views which are
coIored by their political predilec.
tions, some critcising what they re-
gard as Mr. Bullitt's breach of con
fidence"
THE Chronicle, strong champion
OF Premier Lloyd.George. says Mr.,
Bullitt's evidence was directed against
President Wilson. Secretary Lansing
and Colonel House.
The Post, in a satirical editorial,
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
BOLS USE STATEGY .iH8i
WITH EXECUTIONERS

Paris, Aug 20.-Boshevik leaders
in Russia are compelled to practice
strategy in order to control the law
less elements they use as official exc
cutioners of the sentences prounced
by the Soviet tribunals. One instance
occurred in arrest of Is sailors who
had been employed in this way by
Djerjinsky and Peters who have been
described as "the terror men of pet?
rograd::" The sailors had become OBJ
streperous but as they were heavily
armed they We're not expected to sub
nit docilely.,
So they were ordered to Boutirky
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17
~ 7~'ss
MACON MAY HAVE 8lI4iaIa..
COTTON EXCHANGE
Question Now Being Considered BY
the Chamber of Commerce.

q B AZ
u Nscon, tsepk 49, -Ths Chamber Of
'coAimerce II si'considefing the question
of cotton exchange for Macon IN re-
sponse to a request made by R. F.
Willingham, president of the Shippers
Bonded Compress and other warehous-
es, and H. M. Rogers, vice-president
OF the Fourth National Bank. Inas-
much as recent progress in warehouse
development in Macon has been con-
siderable magnitude, it is thought that
cotton exchange, such as other Geor-
gia cities already have, should be es-
tablished in Macon.
j. NJ Workman. cotton warehouse
expert. whose services have been Sc
cured by the Chamber of Commerce
through the United States Bureau Of
Markets, is now in South Carolina,
AHishingl business there so that he can
assume his duties here within the next
week. The expert was retained for
the benefit of Macon's warehouse in
terests. so that every detail in ware
house law may be adhered to and the
warehouses here may secure top
notch rating.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17


jail ito execute Il prisoners Of the
Bolsheviki. They entered the yard
gaily and We're marched to inner en-
closured where the 'officers left them
to fetch the condemned men. s
Soon the executioners discovered
that machine guns menaced them
from every window and tshe walder
ordered them to surrender. Realizing
their helplessness they threw their
weapons away and We're marched in.
to the jail where they made the day
'hidious with their threats and cries.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17

interchangeable rubber heels have
been invented that can be attached
to shoes and replaced when worn by
means of metal fasteners permanent
ly installed.
The Cordele dispatch., 1919-09-17

In sound amplifier invented by a
California scientist the fall of a fea-
ther makes a noise like a wrestler
thrown upon mat.