The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-09-04

= taking in arreStln
- folks mo s
young people) who drive to seclude
places at night in autos. turn out IA
lights to conceal their c0nduc
(which to say the least seems to 2
auestionable). This sort of thing Oh
tains not only in the cities but i
some small towns as we'll. If thi
condition of affairs is of sufficien
magnitude to cause the police to &C
it would seem that the parents 9
young girls should be interested j
knowing where their girls are a
4 night. l don't want to 60 on recors
as an alarmist, but while l believ'
the auto should be used for pleasure
l also think that it may very we'll D
land possibly isl used as means K
lead to a state OF moral depravity.
who Has the Most Beautiful
Legs in the World'-Headline. a
French dancer claims to own EN-
Two other women (also dancers)
claim they each have pair of prize
winners and say that Frenchy must
prove. up. They say they are plum
willin' to go before jury to decide
| IuC uIdktCI. AL uaNC ~ COY - sA0s
if the show down (or show up) as
the case may be takes place in my
home town the sheriff won't have any
trouble gettin' jury-whats .A
If had an enemy on whom 1
wanted to wreak vengeance l can
think OF no more dire punishment
than to compel him 10 read the
League OF Nations covenant. l
| notice that some unregenerate
son-of-a-gun made 4 raid OH Willie
Sundays tabernacle. stole his car, a
lot OF checks and some cash. Hard
lines old man. but you may console
yourself thusly. Come easy, go easy.
got it by preachin.
can't find anything in the League
of Nations covenant about suppress
ing the jay" driver nor the road
hog" Possibly these insects" have
been overlooked. shall take the
matter up with the peace congress as
soon as I'm done diggin' my spuds.,
"A soft answer turneth away
wrath "-So we are told. Likewise
and moreover good stiff punch on
the snout often shows the other chap
the error Of his ways.
Speakin OF taste | guess l have the
highest developed faster of anyone
now on earth. Long years ago (more
years than like to rcmember) some
thin got wrong with my ''innards.
and as castor oil Chen as nowh was
the panacea for all childish ailments
mother decided to lubricate my
works. And do you know l. can
taste the derned stuff. yct.-Yessir.
The only difference between a hog
and profitcer is the profiteer has
got up ON his hind legs.
Golf lit is saidD was first. played
by the ancients. Mebbe SO. l dun
no. But | know felt petty ancient
after playin' my first land last) game.
don't know whether Shakespeare
or Bacon wrote the work attributed
Tor credited) to the former, but me
IN for Bacon.
If there is anything you want al
ways be OH the watcn for it, and
while watching also pray for it and
last land best OF alb roll up your
sleeves and work for il. Ii you fol-
low these suggestions nothing can
prevent you having the things You
want.
T'other day l read 81 man who
has been sent to the Fen for :, l.,
years for bigamy. He'd been married
to six women. made the remark
that thought he got off easy.
Why" said my friend, what SELL
tence would you have imposed that
would have been more severe::" And
| just seq. scz'l. Il would have COM
PEELED him to live with all six of 'em. u
"He that passeth by and meddleth
with strife belonging not to him is
like one that takes dog by the ears"
Bible. That's my text. The choir
will please sing number -, entitled,
Mind 20 own bizness and let others
alone"
| had some sport with pill peddler
once, like this. l went to him and
asked for an examination. He looked
at my tongue. felt of my pulse,
pounded me in the Stats, then looked
wise and asked me when is the
pain the most severe:" why" says
l, when have to consult DOCTOR"
where are you sufferin' most to-
day." he asked. Right here in your
office answered. That got his
nanny and he said "tAere amt any,
thing the matter with YOU" "Ker-
rect old gobbler," says I. Il knew
that before came" He fell in fit.
] phoned for a boss doctor told him
to hurry and went home.
Almost any sort Of plane would be
an airy plane these August morn
ings of September.
Sixty-two (count 'emJ sixty-two
French war brides have secured di-I
vorceS and hied themselves back til
sunny France. Verify there is. more
pleasure in pursuit than in possessionj
tor SO it seems).
Mr.. Male Weds Miss Hammer
Headline. THIN. yes. Claw Haus
mer" most likely.
P. S.-Remember me in your de-
votional cxcrcises).
-Q