Evening journal., 1919-06-28
ouch Il
)IIFE ~
BY O. B. JOYFUL


on the Trlanon diamond, Versailles.
All that was at stake was the PEN
nant OF the League OF Nations and 81
billion dollars.
Kid woodIe Wilson was on the
mound for the Winners.
shorty Dave Lloyd George was grab
bing EN- OF back OF the plate.
Lefty Clemenceau was playing CEN
ter and batting .450 besides making two
homeruns on Brockdorf-Rantzau.
Kicker Orlando, who had just re-
turned to the game after bad case OF
spiked feelings, was playing short.
Silent Eddie House was flashing the
signals from the Winners bench.
Toughnut Hohenzollern was running
the Losers game from a knothole IN
left-fleld fence.
1t was one-two-three for Kon
Fehrenbach.
Game called while Brock Rantzau
Kicked over umpire's decision putting
Hun coachers on the Rhine linc-)
Goose Glesberts TO bat.
Game called while Hun rooters and
manager OF the Losers go outside the
grounds and decide II they're going to
put in a pinch hitter or forfeit the
game.)
Nutty Noske and Doc Mueller call
the umpire's attention TO the fact that
Pitcher Wilson, OF the Winners, Is
putting emory on the canonball, and
that he's using the famous double
twist" which they insist Is half balk.
imp gives the Losers two minutes
TO get back into the game.
They get.
Scheldemann nav batting for Gies-
berts.
woodle puts a swift one over the
nor-east corner OF the plate.
strike oncf"
Manager Egbert and Batboy Willie
protest They insist Scheidey was nip
ped on the knuckle and entitled TO take
his base
Game called while the Losers go
outside and talk II oyer.)
Mat Erzberger now batting for
Scheldemann.
woodle puts over splitter and old
Erzie misses IL a mile.
strike twor'
Game called because AL Belgium says |
Toughnut Hohenzollern Is throwing |
brockbats over the leftneld fence. AL |
Is moved over 10 right field and Johnny |
Bull throws custard pie through the |
knothole, landing square In Toughnuts
eye
Game resumed.
Woodle Wilson taken out OF the box
10 go up In the grand stand and settle |
a Tight between Bill Taft and Hank |
Lodge.
Dave George now pitching for the |
Winners. Bob Lansing takes Dawes |
place behind the bat.
(Game postponed because Jap Nip
pon isn't playing third base. Umpire
hnds Jap over in the bullpen taking
peanuts from John Chink)
Game starts agoin.
strike three and OUTW
Brock Rantzau at bat.
Coach Hindenburg OF the Losers
,awls out the umpire for letting Foch
play In too close. And because he won't
let the Huns have more than three
strikes at the ball.
Umpire orders Hlndy TO the outside.
Strike Oner'
Game called while the Losers call up |
Weimar to see IL Tricky Won Bernstorr /
should pinch hit
Tricky is now batting for Rantzau.
Strike twor
Toughnut Hohenzollern crawls over
leftfleld fence and starts hight. Gets
licked again. and tossed back over the
fence. Game proceeds,
"Strike THREEV
"YOURE OUTr
Games over.
Let's beat it for the car an get home
In time for dinner
Awright, let's.
~ LEAGUE STANDING.
Wars Wars Wars Per
Fought Won. Lost cent.
Winners ...t 1000
Losers ........ 0 900
Golden Rule, a Washington printer, is
being sued for divorce by his wife,
Rule, for not "adhering TO
The sentiments contained in the original
OF his name"
There's no law against chewing, the
Philadelphia police magistrate said
when Patrolman Gallagher arrested
Andrew Olson. yeah. but 1t was my
thumb" Gallagher retorted.
The meanest thief police have been
asked to apprehend is the one who 4,
stole a white crepe from door at Nor
ristown, Pa.
Whose wife are you taking To dancer
Judge Durham, OF Grand Rapids in a
divorce suit ruling said a woman can i
properly go TO a dance with a man l
other than friend husband.
William Ackland, Canadian veteran ,
OF the great war, today admitted in
Chicago court he is afraid OF his 100
pound 'honey." He obtained a court
order for his clothes.
On his one hundredth birthday
Philip Green, OF St. Paul, decided TO
make out his first will. "I've reached |
my objective for longevity" he told
his attorney.
It's the soldiers home for Henry
Mack, S0-year-old colored veteran, un-
less he keeps out OF henrOosts. Mack /
told the Omaha judge, 81 Jest KANT |
leave 'em Alone and was paroled to
his wife.
Until New York owners can prove
they don't travel as fast as their chauf-
feurs, Magistrate Folwell- is going TO
fine both.
Charles Ortner says he like Ossining,
\ 10 -s.s |