davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
3 O o k S
By Haywood Broun

w mt most successful full monolosists MOI log It's of Of
the American stage, has deserted
his hearers for the movies, but he has left
behind book Of his shrewd sayings, called
"Thc Peace Conference" The development
of Rogers as an entertainer was inter
esting. AS a cowboy he learned rope and
riding tricks which were good enough to
enable him to get a job with a circus.
Later he left the circus for vaudeville,
taking with him horse and rope. Here he
found that he must utilize in some way
the time which he spent in arranging his
ropes after the completion Of a trick. He
was, like most most Americans, an ON
nivorous reader Of newspapers, and, 'un-
like most vaudevillans, he took as his
material the news of the day rather than
the stock subjects of mothers-in-law and
rubber plants and travelling statesmen. SO
successful were his observations that by
and by he was able to abandon his horse,
and at the time he left the stage there
was also very little rope. 1t served merely
to point the jokes.
Even as a humorist there was something
of the rope thrower about Rogers. He
lariat and suddenly pull it taut to com
plete the capture of the audience. One of
his paragraphs crept into the repertory of
President Wilson, who used it in his Bos-
ton speech upon his return from France.
GAS one Of our American humorists says"
was the credit line Of the President Per-
haps he did not care to let his Boston
audience know that the joke came from the
current "Follies" Of Mr.. Ziegfeld.
"Tfhe Peace Conference" is hardly as
funny in it's printed form as when incor-
porated in the monologues Of Rogers.
Something OF the comedians method is
needed, and a mistake has been made in
trying to obtain this method by a crude
attempt to make the grammar Of Rogers
little worse than usual and to reproduce
his dialect phonetically.
Il was going to write a book on the
war, but l heard some other fellow had
already done It," writes Rogers in explain
Ing why he took the peace conference as
q subject. He continues; "There was 50
much argument about who was to, 20 that
President Wilson says, Y tell you what,
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
G. IT, o n S
mo Sfr1rags)
To fha Editor OF Thn Tl5bunn-

To The Editor OF The Tribune
GNR- Doubtless you know our work Of
~ getting positions for discharged SOL
diars and sailors has gotdan away to a
good sturt- All over the United Statns the
War Department. is securing the hearty Co
operation Of all the welfare services.
chambers Of commerce, labor unions. en-
ployrrs' associations and many national
STATE and civic bodies all OF whom are at
liberty to use the machinery Of the United
States Employment Service toward hooking
up the discharged man Of the army and
navy with a good job
We have also had the pafriotic as
slstanrs of employers, corporations, firms
and individuals in the matter Of reinstatinc
their old men in the jobs they held before
they went 10 war I may add that be-
tween 70 and 80 per cent Of our honorably
discharged soldiers and sailors have the
offer OF their prr-war jobs The hero of
to-day is not to become tho hobo of to-
morrow.
In return for this the War and Navy de-
pa1tments have prepared a handsome cita-
ton, which is issued to all those employers
who have assured the departments that
they will gladly recmploy everybody who
formerly worked with them and left to
serve in the army or navy during the great
war. This citation carries with it per
mission for the holder TO display on his
firms service flag the shield Of the United
States a symbol that he will fulfil his
obligations to the men who went to the de-
fence of the country at the time of its
peril
AS yet I do not think that employers
generally throughout the United States
know about this citation, and am writing
to yon TO ask if you will give this letter
space in your valuable columns in order
that the manufacturers, merchants, pro-
fesslonal men and employers generally in
your community may know that they arc
entitled to this interesting official docu-
ment
The citation is signed by the Secretary
Of War, the Secretary of the NAVY and
myself, assistant to the Secretary of War.
1t is handsomely engraved and engrossed
with the na,nc Of tho recipient. There are
no strings to it. All we ask is that the
employer write an application for such
citation, stating that he will rcamploy his
old service men, and address me, in care
Of the War Department, Washington, D. C.
The newspapers CT many cities at tho
outbreak OF the war published the names
Of those patriotic employers who agreed to
retain their places for their men who en-
hstcd or werc drafted. 1t occurs to me
now that IT would BIO n very fine and
patriotic act II Mt this time, with victory
won, tho newspapers publish tho names Of
those firms and individuals In thcir ncirh-
borhood who are taking back honorably
discharged eervice men. whether they
agreed to or not when tho way began.
ARTHUR WOODS,
Assistant TO the Secretary of War,
War Department, Washington, d. c..
juno 10, 1919.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

we will split ffty-ffty. I will go and you
fellows stay"
Concerning the peace covenant he writes:
"Says in there, There is to be no more
wars and then there was a paragraph a
little further down told you where to get
your AMMUNITION in case there was one.
Gall those nations claim they are fight
ing for freedom, but Of course, a little
more land would make little more
freedom.
"They wanted McAdoo to go, but the
salary wasn't right.
"If they want to get even with Ger
many they ought to let them keep their
cables and appoint Burleson to run them"
In Leonard Merrick's engaging novel,
"Cynthia," Humphrey Kent, the hero, be-
gins his literary career as novelist of
the most serious intentions. One novel
takes year in the writing, and then it
fails of publication. Later he becomes a
literary ghost" and turns out fiction
wholesale, which is published under the
name of a popular woman author. In this
partnership Mr.. Merrck pictures his hero
as working at terrific pace. "He never
turned out less than 1000 words a day."
writes Mr.. Merrick solemnly. To us, or
to any newspaperman, that sounds like
vacation.
Cynthia" is a most entertaining book
although by no means equal to Conrad
in Quest of His YOUTH" but some of the
facts upon which the story swings seem
to us highly improbable. We do not be-
lleve for instance, that any of these popu-
lar novelists could "do good stuff if they
only wanted to-" We know certain play
wright who announced after years of sue
cess that he was going to cease to write
for the commercial stage and turn out a
truly serious play. He wrote the play,
and it was produced, and it was just like
the other nineteen he had written. with
the single exception that all the Jokes had
been edited out.
On the other hand authors who write
we'll but never attain huge popularity are
given credit for q sacrifcial spirit which
they usually do not possess 1t is a mis-
take to assume, we think, that they write
for limited public solely by choice. 1t
Is their natural public. Theodore Dresser
could not some fine afternoon say, Go to,
I will write best seller" and immediate
ly begin Common Law" No, and neither
could Robert w. Chambers take thought
and, deciding "This time 1t will be litera-
turc." turn out "Sister Carrie
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
The Substitute for Revolution

Judge Amidon, of the North Dakota
Federal judicial district, has dismissed
suit which attacked legislation en-
acted by the North Dakota Legislature
pursuant to the industrial programme
Of the so-called Nonpartisan League,
an organization which politically con-
trolls the state. Judge Amidon has been
stiff upholde1 Of national rights, and
as q citizen is not rated as friendly to
the ideas of Townley and his associates.
4 His ruling, therefore, has the more
significance as being born of the law
rather than of personal opinion.
The best bulwark to our institutions
is the publics ability to alter them. The
powers of government are so wisely dis
trlbuted that except as to few things
state may order it's affairs to suit it.
self. If it wishes to become socialistic,
Judge Amidon holds, it is it's privilege
so to do. Private property exists as a
creature of law, and the conditions un-
der which it may be held are matters
of statutes. In the legislation respects
ing the trade in intoxicating beverages
property is notorious1y conflscated.
When the hotheaded strike out madty
and violently it is said there should be
yielding to their demands. This counsel
of folly and cowardice despots have
followed with poor success. It substi-
tutes government by clamoring threats
for cne Of law The implication is that
the aggrieved are justified in revolt
tion if rebuffed. The world is filled with
this noisy preachment, and there is effort
to stifie Bolshevisn by becoming Boz
shevist first.
The American way, as Judge A1nidon
points out, is better. This way is to
deny the right of revolution under any
circumstances and to throw open the
door to orderly change. Liberty under
law'-this is an old-fashioned A1neri-
can maxim, and SO far the world has
discovered nothing better. The proper
answer to takers Of revolution is to
point to the ballot box, with the rigid
Ties of Interpretation SO lonsened as to
lnsrl1e respect for the mandates Of the
ballot box. Our democratic institutions.
IN one Important aspect, are merely a
great and complicated plan to end the
revolutionary right.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
The End Of Daylight Saving

In these days Of revolutionary .yeastii-
1lezs the fate of the daylight saving law
is somewhat ironical reminder of the
persistence of crude human NATURE.
Here was a measure which Increased na-
tional efficiency, conserved coal in the
summer months, reduced bills for arfii-
fetal lighting and gave the workers in
the cities and in most Of the industries zcn
extra daylight recreation hour. But lfas-
cause it c1ashed with habit and ira ditlim
and Inconvenience small minority of
farm workers its widespread and snb-
stantial benefits are to be given up.
1t is hard to tell which argument ap-
pealed more to the Legislators who voted
\ to repeal the Calder act-ths inron-
venience caused to milk prodnpera and
suburban truck farmers {and shared in
minute degree by agricultural workers
generality or the natural aversion to
tampering with SO ancient an institution
as the clock
Senator Williams told the Senate.
half facetiously, that he "emphatica1ly
icGQaIQY-
froIn-New-Y ork time" But he ap-
parently relapsed into seriousness when
he added: II am rather tired of Con-
gress attempting not only to legislate On
every possible Federal and state oues-
ton but attempting to usurp the func-
tons OF God Almighty in fixing the time
for the sun to rise and set.''
Most human progress has been the re-
suit CT tanning and overcoming the crude
forces Of nature. 1t is as legitimate and
pralseworthy to outwit the sun in our
daily living schedule, if we find such
strategy to be advantageous, as it is to
dam rivers, control floods and make
water ascend again to its own level after
it has once descended. Sunlight costs
nothing. Coal and artificial illuminants
cost good deal. Is it ,usurpine the
functions Of nature to utilize the abun-
aant daylight of summer 80 as to reduce
the use Of artificial light?
Nobody denies that the daylight saving
act has been hardship to the dairy
farmer He has had to get up an hour
carrier IN order to catch milk trains run
ming on prc-daylight saving schedule.
His complaint could have been met, how
ever, by recasting the milk train sched-
ule The railroad administration failed
& 70 DO this, thus pcrpetuating an annoy-
afce which should have been removed.
Az to the ordinary farmer, his objcc-
hons were probably not fairly repre-
ssnted by Representative Campbcll's
statement: Everybody knows that
when the dew gets on the body It makes
sores" The farmers who employ hands
complained that the men went to work
on the new schedule an hour too ear1v
and stopped an hour too soon. Farm
work can be done to least advantage be-
1ors the dsw dries. But the farmer had
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

and is persuaded that as to some things
professional may not judge wisely.
Anyway, the army is to provide extern
sion courses.
Prejudlces were created against the
army by the Dld methods. The life of
single men in barracks was not deemed
wholesome. But when the boy who was
rather worthless at home and could not
be induced to settle down comes back
with knowledge in his head and skill in
his hands, opinions are likely to shift.
The Baker experiment is worth trying
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Good Internationalists?

To the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir Taking note of Alderman Quinns
statement that mo good lrishman ever was
an Internationalst," I am moved to ask
whether Alderman Quinn has ever heard
of Daniel O'Connell, or John Mitchell, OK
Feargus O'Connor, or Bronterre O'Brien. or
Michael Davitt, or James Connolly, or
Francis Sheehy- -Skeffington. Or would AL.
derman Quinn perhaps have the assurance
to say that these were not good Irishmen?
ALGERNCN LEE.
New York, June 10, 1919. {
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Colonel York , Never l :
tFrom Tho Arkonsos cosette,

NFTO" 1"o AFNu"SUS UuseIsSy
When Sergeant York was married to his
boyhood sweetheart at their home in Tenr~s-
see he wore the uniform Of a colonel Of the
Tennessee National Guard, for he had been
made colonel for life on the staff Of Gov
ernor Roberts, who performed the wedding
ceremony. But let no sucn calamity hap.
pen as tho displacing Of Sergeant York" ny
"Colonel York" (of the Governor's sts6) =
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

You can purchase merchandise advertised n TIE
TSteUME with absolute safety-or II dissausIHotWn re-
money back upon request. No red tape NO ousoo'"s'
We mako good promptly II tho advertiser does not
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Necdeds More Elbow Room

tTTsu7n 11ao Baltimore -NsnErtnuno
Collisions arn now taking place in the air,
It Is IN odd fact that whether on ths con-
gnstnd surfare OF the earth, the pathless
waste of ocean, or the iIIrnitahlds extent of
the MI, thErs is newer room enough for all
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
...ut,,ra ,or .,rnp .AssocrNrEp pREss

AfYnfDER OF THE -ASSOCrATED PIsF1sS
Tn, Associated Press Is exclusively entitled % ing ue
sr rers,bcatse1 OF dispatches cren.teo 10 ~ v1
not otherwise credited m this paper ana also -tn0 i"A
n-ss ~ spontaneous origin published herein -.
Al ,irh,s OF republication of all ohsr matter -ncfean
sre also reserved
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

For the Information of Mr.. Kenneth Mac
gowan, who rebuAes US for having not
listened to Della Fox sing "The Belle of
Avenue A." W. S. N. offers that it was
Ellie Fay who sang tho song; and Anxious
says it was Blanche Ring.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

They usually rejected.
The American Magazines advertising
copy contains an inept comparison, to our
notion at would be just as foolish for
you to ask" it says, "what will be in a num-
Der four months from now as it would be to
ask tho Lditor Of the New York Sun what
will be in next Mondays paper" No, it
wouldn't. II you ask the Editor Of the
New York Sun what will bo in next Mon
days paper, he will tell you that there
will be a story about the Germans signine
the treaty, story about Sundays auto
mobile accidents and a big bunch of
South American stuff
"1he magazine carries no gloom" the
Americans advertisement says "Pcople
have all the gloom they want. They
manufacture it on their own premises.
You cannot sell them gloom. What thew
want to buy is a cure for gloom. They
don't want to buy more gloom" Now. if
there is one magazine that deprcsses US
it is the American. AS we cvaluate the
message Of the American, it is that hard
work and perseverance will bring home the
only desideratum, to wit: money. What
we want is a magazine that will show MS
the way to get rich without working at all.
Tomorrow will be the years longest
day, and the bachelor golfer may play
until nearly o'clock.
Miss Margaret Widdemer has curious
notions about the ways that men and
women write. George Eliot and Jane
Austen she says, wrote casually. "But
man goes about 1t in n more serious man
ner,' Miss Widdcmcr observes. "He ar
ranges plenty of leisure for himself and
woos inspiration. Flo must hayo a room
away off from everybody" Miss Widdcmer
should breeze into tho Office some after
noon or evening and observe the So
questered privacy In which we pen our i'm
perishable 'dylA. We have no more privacy
It's too public even to think Of q simile
3. r. A.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
First to Iast--the News

From the Pearl City Qr) News
A runaway occurred in town one day last week.
. Some ones mules became unmanageabls. We
don't know what day, or whose mules or where
they ran to, but do know that neither tho
driver the outfit was injured.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Music by Sullivan

Music by Sullivan
The Germans didn't like the thing:
A mordant bite, poisoned sting
They said that they detected
And when it came their turn to sign
The treaty On the dotted line
They usually rejected.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

"Where," asks the Sun, els Laughter
holding both his Sides? Where are the
brains, in America, that are rlls Of hu-
NOR? Where is the mirth that is rollick-
ing, gleeful high with the animal spirits
of care-free youth. :. There is moth
ing mirth provoking written solely for the
sake of the mirth." Tush! and pair OF
contemptuous pishes! What message other
than that of mere mirth is there in the
work Of Ring ". Lardnet, Harry Leon
Wilson, Robert c Benchley, Montague
Glass and Don Marquis?
The umpires' chairs at the Philadelphia
Cricket Club, according to private advices,
ere recommended to Mr.. Eddie Conlin, the
w. g. tennis umpire. The chairs, our
espionage service reports, are fitted with
little awnings, under which one could easily
sell orange drink or peanuts. "The UNI
pire being in tho shade and comfort" adds
Sig, "invariably goes to sleep just as q
player is about to mick the line,' as the
saying goes"
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Tho Age cf Specialization

ISpVCIHIIZHCgCn
lFroln estate letterhead]
ALBANY - SCHENECTADY - NEW YORK -
HERKIMER~ R~-CNEIDA-ORANGE AND
RENSSELAER, COUNTIES
Established 1900 Tccphone Connection
4S9-R Hobogen, N. j. Barclay s27o New York
1912 Utica, N. Y. Main 57S3-W Albany, N. Y
RAPID DIRECT MANUFACTURERS OUTLET
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
FRIDAY, JUNE 20. 1919

Owned and published daily by New York Tribune 1nS'
q New York Corporation. Ogden Reid. President; O.
verrcr Rogers vfcePesidena; Helen Rogers Reid secre
tary. r. A. Ser. Treasurer Address. Tribune buiidins
sa Nassau Street New York Telephnne. Beemah '5ooo
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

Well, again We surrender. When a re-
form rs obviously beneficial rs daylight
saving fails Of accompl shment, what, we
ask, is the use OF attempting to better
such a silly world? For the third time
in a month, therefore, we are abandoning
tho universe to it's foolish fate
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
WILLIAM v. BUCKBlNDER

EFFICIENCY AND PUBLICITY EXPERT
ADVERTISING
TrahelIng sSepre esentatibr ann
Alannfacturer's Selling agrnt
COMMISSIONER OF DEEDS
NOTARY ,PUBIIC
NEW YORK rE17NSYLvANIA NEW JERSEY
ALL LIE GAL PAP'E
CAR r u LILY D r AVN
Is Ann ST., NJ z ais First ST. Hobokcn. N J.
50 Green Strest, Albany, N Y
1918 Park Ava, Utica N Y.
Now that the Presidents return is i'm
rincnt, the thought Of what to give him
token of welcome arises What better
than @Putnam,s Phrase Book marking
page 40, which contains:
COURTESY
Cfvillty Polifcncss
Convuntional-Apolcgy) -
! am afraid l I'm trespassing on your time
I beg your pardon for intruding
l hope my coming win not put you to any
incQnvenience
I offer my most sincere apology
! beg you will excuse me
I regret it moro than I can express
Excnse me for having detained you so long
l warmly regret being unable to oblige you
I must apologize for my stupidity
This is quits unforgivable, l fear
I am very awkward, pray forgive mo
I regret that l cannot assist you
It Is with small regret that
1 am exceedingly sorry that your request
comes to at time when I am so
pressed by my own affairs that l can
-
with il
p ,rdn1, ind;
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
The Coming 7ower

The Accented Syllable
AS at Park Place I stand and wait,
think, a patient waiter,
About the escalator, with
The accent on the later.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
syssscHrpT1oN sHArEs-By MAIL. inciuihss rcstase
-. euurn. x->.r.r,.z, .sr.A 1,ca AND CANADA:
GlJ6HENEEE

Enssred "a. te -Fcstofcs New York - Second fdss
Afsl Matter
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20

It's too public even to think Of q simile,
g. p. A.
New-York tribune., 1919-06-20
Misrepresenting

AT a Brooklyn league Of peace meet
ing Edward II. Wilson quoted the fol-
lowing from an address by Mr.. Knox
in 1910:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1919-07-26
CHICAGO GRAIN MARKET.

Chicago. July 25.--Corn was u to y c
lower to lie higher; oats u q &c lower
and hog products We're dull and lower
al the close of trading today.
Corn suffered a sharp reaction just
before the close of today's trading
with December showing the heaviest
loss 1t was weather market pure
and simple with traders scanning the
horizon for signs of rain. Gathering
clouds and cooler temperatures over
the belt occasoned the setback. The
only activity appeared in the cash corn
trade where $1,000 bushels was worked
at prices two cents higher to two cents
lower.
There was an absence of buying
power from the interior which was ac-
ctpted as an indication that crop pros
poets were all right thus far. July
closed with an advance OF one cent
which was the low spot for the day.
September was down ts q \. to IL q \ C
higher and December was n q lie lower.
Cats trade was light. Locals bought
Il little at the start but selling pres
sure was developed on the bulge and
the market sagged into comparative
inactivity Exporters offered recent
purchases for resale. Country offer
irgs were fairly liberal The Anal
price level was at declines Of u q u c
from previous days close. Hog Pro-
ducts were duh and generally lower
fer future deliveries in sympathy with
the decline of hogs at the yards. Ex-
port demand is negligible. with some
price jockeying by neutral nations.
supposedly for German account in EVIL
dtnee.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1919-07-26
RESOLUTIONS

The following resolutions were
adopted at meeting of the Richmond
Academy of Medicine and Surgery held
on the 21st uit.:
Whereas. 1t has pleased God, In His
wisdom, TO remove from our midst
ROBERT SEMPLE BOSHER. JR., be 1t
Resolved, That the Richmond Acad-
envy of Medicine and Surgery has lost
a valued member the medical profess
sion OF the city an esteemed colleague:
and the poor--particularly those at
fiicted with tuberculosis--a real friend
who was always ready to helm them
rot only medically but financially. The
science of medicine was more attrac-
tive to him than its practice. except
when his time and abilities could be
utilized in doing some real good !:
then he gave without stint all that
was in him. And be II further
Resolved. That these resolutions be
spread upon the minutes OF the Rich
mond Academy of Medicine and Sur
gerry. that they be published In the
daily papers and the Virginia Medical
Monthly. and that q cory be sent to
the bereaved family
(signedD CLIFTON NJ. MILLER.
Chairman.
f.. G. LEVY,
p D.. LIPSCoMR