Newark post. (Newark, Del.) 1910-1969, 1919-08-20
THE KEY is THE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
OF MANS DEPRAVITY
Some Thoughts on Its Use
and Its Abuse

Babson, in the Boston Transcript. al
every man respected his nclghbors
gcods and privacy. we should not be
Durdened with carrying keys in bags
and pockets, hunting for them in q
panic and frequently losing or mis-
laying them. W. have the care of q
door key, an office key, trunk key 3
9afety box key Ii We are coupon cut
safety box key if we are coupon cut
and automobile and garage k .ys, il
we own those luxuries. Keys natural
" multiply with our outward prosper.
lty. Diogenes, living in a tub, was a
happy man, as far as the responsible
ity of keys went, and although some
people might prefer more roomy
apartments for permanency, at least
Diogenes wasn't obliged to turn his
toga pockets inside out in vain at
tempt to locate his key-when re-
turning to the tub after brief So
journ at the club.
keyrings, upon which you can con-
centrate your responsibilities, are
sometimes desirable; on the other
hand, if lost, the whole bunch must be
replaced. | consider the mode of the
public both frequently, that of wear
ing the bathhouse key on rubber
ring around the neck, preferable to
any other method. 1t absolutely can
not be lost, unless the bather is eaven
by shark.
Aunt Mary invariably goes OUT
without her door key afternoons when
the maid is also out; this necessitates
ladders and small boys borrowed
from the neighbors to climb in second
story windows, then, aftar tie whole
neighborhood has been aroused, Aunt
Mary remarks calmly: "Why, do de-
clare, the cellar door was unlocked
after all"
When she runs out for little "all,
although expecting Cousin Sue at any
time, she leaves an artless note pinned
On the door-Gone over t, Jernie's-
key under mat-walk right in and
make yourself at home. By merciful
dispensation of Providence no burg
lars have visited the street for forty
years-but even f they did come the
frankness and welcome of ;hat note
might disarm the most hardened
Cousin Sue is equally devoid of key
responsibility. Once on the eve of her
departure for a round of visits, her
trunk was SO full that thu entire fam
lily had to sit upon it, in order to close
the lid. After fifteen minutes of
painting, perspiring effort the cover
was down, and clamped, and Henry
turned triumphantly to Cousin Sue
"Done at last, Sue-give me the key
"The key?" faltered Sue, looking as
bewildered as if he had asked for the
moon. "Why, it's-it's-heavens. Pm
afraid it's at the bottom of the trunk'
The KEEP has been a source CT trou
hle and annoyance ever since the por
trnss in "Paradis Loset" unlocked the
gate, and let Satan loose upon thu
world
Thus saying, from her side the fata
key
Sad instrument of all her woe, sht
1t probably was a large one, like
the key of the Bastile, which tourist.
may see at Washington's home, Mount
Vernon.
Bluebeard's key did a good deal Of
mischief, as the mere possession of il
aroused that Unsuitable feminine cur.
iosity and brought so many blooming
wives to an untimely end.
In the case of lovers the disadvan.
tage of being without key made NJ
difference in results, if we may trus'
to song and story.
Her father, he has locked the door, hei
mother keeps the key,
But neither bolts nor bars shall keeI
my own true love from me.
Glove laughs at locksmiths" has
been the attitude from the beginning
of time, but the ordinary mortal mo-
in love generally finds the key ne
cessary adjunct to the locked door
The watch key was great nuisance
in the old days; always lost whet
winding-up time came. The man who
invented the stem winder was a bene
factor to the careless. If key. con
nected in some way with the door
knob, and having a family combina
ton, could be worked out, it would be :
boon to many persons-especiall!
Aunt Mary"