El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-07-26

Us the day we sent for the police
man to put out that feller we had
running the elevator, Mawruss. we
could OF made quite a lot of money
maybe" Abe Potash remarked TO
Morris Perlmutter apropos Of the fact
that the heavyweight title had
changed hands.
IF we would only had our wits
about US and you had taken my ad-
vice to let the Teller sleep off his
Jag instead Of calling IN a policeman
10 wake him up and throw him out
Abe" Norris said, they wouldn't Of
broken between them fifty dollars
worth Of fixtures and ruined a lot
OF garments On US"
''WeI. that's what I mean Nav
russ, which Il forty-five thousand
people could be persuaded into paying
anyWneres from ten 10 a hundred
dollars apiece to see that nine-minute
affair in Toledo where the two loaf
ers didn't have nothing against one
another personally and couldn't of
kept their mind on the fight anyhow
for trying to figure their share Of
the profits. y'understand, what would
them torty-five thousand meshuGoyim
paid to see for twenty minutes a
couple OF fellers which they really
and truly wanted TO kill each other
Without any intermisSions Of so much
az two seconds MswrussZn Abe said.
PEOPLE Like Humbu-gery.
wei. III tell YOU, Abe" Morris
said, these here fight fans are the
same Ike moving picture fans; they
would a whole lot sooner nav out
money 10 see the imitation article
than the real thing. Tell one OF these
here fight fans that for 10 cents YOU
would let him know where ar half
past nine o'clock on Monday morning
an iron moulder has got an appoint
ment to meet q stevedore who used
10 be engaged TO the iron moulder's
sister and now refuses TO return the
S25 he borrowed from her TO get the
wedding ring and the MARRIAGE II
cense. and the fight fans would ask
you what Is that his business.
Tell a moving picture fan that
there Is & family out in East FL Paso
where the father is a rineer for Will
liam S. Hart and is also in fail,
understand, and that such a family
Is aooat to be dispossesed for nom
payment Of rent understand me. and
II you made an offer to such a moving
picture fan. that for a contribution
OF Is cents toward finding the family
new home. YOU would show him q
closeup OF the landlord, Of the notice
TO quit and Of the court room where
such proceedings are returnable, IN
derstand me. the moving picture fan
wouldn't come across with a nickel.
not even If you undertook to engage
the entire combined organs and or
theaters to play Hearfs and FiowerS'
while the furniture was being piled
on the moving van"
Real Life and the Movies. :
u wouldn't blame the moving pic |
ture fan at that Mawruss." Abe said. !
because II such a moving picture I
fan would see one Of these here har-
rowing William S. Hart and Mary
Pickford incidents in real life. Nav I
russ, when Il reached the point where /
the moving picture fans heart Is 60
ing to break unless there would be a /
quick. happy ending. understand, not /
only would there not be happy end /
ing. but also, MaWruSs. instead OF the /
next incident being a Mack Sennett /
comedy In real life, Mawruss. 4 might |
be something so sad. y'understand, /
that II a moving picture corporation |
would try to reproduce It on the /
screen. It would cost them a fortune /
for aruica alone"
"a moving picture fans heart don't i
break 50 easy as all that, Abe" Norris /
said. Moving picture fans is ike 1
doctors and undertakers, Abe. They've
got SO used to other peoples mis-
fortunes that Il practically don't af-
feet them at all. A moving picture
ian can see William S. Hart come out
of jail 10 find his wife married to
the detective who not only arrested
him IN the first reel but is also Civ
ing terrible nfaklls to Mr.. Harris
Youngest child in the second reel,
4l4E4EAEAA4f anu II WA4AEE AAAhL
moving picture fans heart to the
same extent like II would be some
thing in q tropical review entitled:
Eighth Annual Convention Of the
United Icen1en OF America. Akron, o.
Arrival OF the DeleEufes ut the Akron
Union Depot y'understand- Yes. Abe,
the effect Of five-reel filluns on a
moving picture fans heart Is like the
effect OF five star Scotch whisky on
a Typical clubman's life. II hardens
It TO such an extent that It practically
ceases to do the work for which It
was originally put into a human body.
Abe"
No Use for Fans.
ITO tell you the truth. Mawruss. I
amt got no use for any kind OF fan.
nd that goes for moving picture fans,
fight fans. baseball fans and pinochle
fans, not to mention grand opera fans,
first night thsater fans and every
other fan from golluf downwards-
Take these here fight fans which
chartered special trains for Toledo,
Ohio. and paid q hundred dollars for
a ringside seat MaWruss. and TO my
mind. il would take one Of these here
insanity experts to figure out Just
what made them do Il at a time when
on account OF the raise in rent and
living expenses. so many heads Of
families Is staying home with their
families these hot Sundays and read
ing the papers about the fight fans
chartering special trains and paying
hundred dollars for ringside seats. q