The Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 191?-19??, 1919-06-04
GREATEST
CALAMITY
That Ever Happened In HepkinsviIle
Caused By Col. MOnseh's
Offer.

caused five thousand women to get
weak in their knees and faint. Ten
thousand men butted their heads
against telephone poles. Five thous-
and men rubber-necked at it, Now
what caused this CONSERVATION? The
Colonel guaranteed every woman a
million-dollar husband and five
thousand-dollar automobile with ev-
| cry bottle they drank. Colonel
Monsch at once phoned to w. A.
/ Chambers & Company to send every
one of their trucks and every truck
in the city and hacks and carriages
were used to haul these people out
to the hospital. The hospital being
unable to handle them all the Colonel
wired to Camp Taylor to send in
cots. They were sent by flying ma
chimes to Hopkinsville to accommodate
all those who were hurt. The Colon
ell had the entire car of 100 barrels
sent out to the hospital grounds. In
sympathetic way he asked every
one to drink a bottle of Beaufort
Ginger Ale. After they drank it they
all got up and walked home. called
on J. H. Morgan and Thad McCor-
mick, the popular statesmen of the w.
A. Chambers Company and Jack To-
bin to help me with all these people
who were hurt. After / saw they
were all getting up and were all right
/ walked back to the city. met Mrs.
M. Y. Costello and Mrs. F. M. Mar
quett on the street with axes on their
shoulders. l said to them, "You are
patriotic, you are going to cut trees
for the Government shipyards? "They
said, "No, we are going to chop off
| the heads of our husbands for making
eyes at the women out at the hospi
tai and if you say much to me / will
chop your head off," That was the
greatest event in ColonePs life, how
to sooth these women. l said to them
"Let me give you a bottle of Beau
font Ginger Ale," and it tickled them
to death and they went off laughing.
l walked over to the w. A. Chambers
Company door and I met Mr.. Glenn
ents, the sales manager of the w. A.
Chambers Company and he looked
liked he had lost every friend on
earth. gave him bottle and you
could see that sparkle in his eyes.
He went home and Mrs, Clements
asked him what made him have such
rosy cheeks. He said he drank a bot
tie of Reaufont Ginger Ale, So Mrs.
Clements put her arms around him
and kissed him and said, Clements,
you are the handsomest man in
town."
Jack Tobin, the popular restaurant
mani looked him up-his family
tree, while / was here. He was shipp-
ed here on a tramp steamer in a
croaker sack as ballast, two hun
bred years ago and thrown off at
Santa Rosa, Fla. But since he came
here he has made good and his SER
vice is as good as that in any large
city, but he has those outlandish
names on his bill-of-farc that no man
can read. / doubt if he can read
them himself. He said they were
French dishes. After all this excite
ment l got weak in the knees too so
had to drink bottle of Beaufont's
Ginger Ale. After leaving Tobin's /
went by to c. R. Clark u Company's
store. l noticed Miss Woodson and
Miss Harrison crying. said to them,
Don't cry little girls, don't cry,
for you'll get to Heaven by and by.
l asked them what they were crying
about. They said did not give them
bottle of Beaufort Ginger Ale. So
I told Mr. Alex Cavanaugh, the head
salesman of the C. R. Clark company,
to give them all bottle of Beaufort |
l noticed sweet smile pass over their |
faces as / went out of the store. The
sweet and gracious way Miss Wood
son and Miss Harrison waited on
customers no wonder that G. R. Clark I
& Company have such a great trade.
Mr.. Alex Cavanaugh, he will scold
sometimes but when he does the girls
tickle him under the chin and he for
get all about his troubles.
Look at Morris fountain, you find
Beaufort served in the highest state
of perfection and sanitation. ! ask
ed Mr.. Morris what made him SO hand
some and he said his mother kissed
him all the time while he was a baby.
! finally walked back to the hotel
about ten o'clock / went to bed.
That night 1 had the sweetest dream
in the world. / dreamed / went to
sleep in Beaufort Springs, Va. saw
the water bubbling and gurgling
over the beautiful white pebbles and
the hooking birds were singing sweet
ly and the sun kissed me when l
awoke. Oh, girls, this was the gar
den of Eden. Where the water you ,
drank was as fragrant as the perfume :
of flowers and as sweet as the breath
of time. No wonder it makes every
woman love the whole world when .
she drinks it. 1t is the only thing in ,
the world that viii bring happiness,
sunshine, and joy to every family. 1t ]
makes everyone love one another. ,
Here is the Coloners toast to every I