The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-08-21

the good rain ! see
the corners of your
| - mouth have turned
up Feetin better, amt you?
haven't snake story for you this
week. But | want to tell you of a
little set-to had with a bear once.
was out in the mountains when !
was suddenly confronted by sudden
death in the form of black bear.
The bear wouldn't run (and |
co0tdn't) so it was up to me to kill
him or be chawed up. So took
what thought was my last look at
the sun and repeated If l should die
before l find tree"-pulled the rtig-
ger, also pulled out of that vicinity,
aud at ohce began tryin' to locate
tree, The bear came right along and
It was nip and l was nearly tuck. |
beat him to small saplin by about
) inches or the length Of his tail. and
lost no time in gettin' up in the
world. Talk about flivver climbin'
n hill on high. Say, went up that
tree like hound up the side of a
mountain. The bear didn't seem
none disabled and be must have been
brave to climb after me. Up | went
till the top OF the bush began to
bend and let me down. The derned
cri,ter q mean the bear) kept comm
aud the top kept bendin'. Finally
ate. The bear drew nearer. re-
membered Tin flashD of hearin' all
old bear hunter say if you hit bear
on the nose he'd quit. So when he
got in stgikin' distance I let fly hay
maker for his nose. Just then he
opeued his mouth to grab some Of
rue aud | showed my fist down his
throat, clear through his carcass.
Caught him by the tail, gave a saw
| age jerk and turned him inside out
aud threw him down. Then calmly
descended the tree, took up my gun,
felt for my watch to see now fony
the fign, bad lasted and discovered
that my pajamas had no watch pock-
Ct About that time the alarm clock
went off, somebody yelled. git up,
! aud awoke.
4 srain let me admonish yea. 1t
rays to advertise, in the Butler
Times. Sore time ago | advertised
plow for sale lin The Times) and
before the paper ca. ne out that week
| sold the pillow. Recently l adver-
tiscd (also in The Times) my t!iyver
for sale. In less than weeE sad
sold it and had three orders for cars
that l couldn't fill Does it pay to
advertise? III say it do. (P. Sin
The Butler Times).
| was asked what is the meaning
OF the expression or phrasc-"gettin'
a run for your money" l answered
like ihis-l worked for man oncr
till he owed me $I.6o and he told me
to call some time and he would pay
me, The +th of July Cor maybe a
clrcuS> was aproachin' and | called
or him, He saw me while l was
some distance away and Immediately
began goin' away from there. took
after him and after obliteratin' space
for mile and Ia nailed him and
we had pay day. This Gas UNDER
stand it, was gettin' run for my
money.
Asked If | was in favor of the
women votin' replied if | wasn't
would be afraid to say so.
"A woman is just naturally a wo-
man. notes the Erie Record Uhm,
yes, that's all. Just wait.
The old sayin' "A person is known
by the company he keeps is thing
vi the past, Nowadays a Teller is
sized up by the sort of car he
drives. P, ST have sold my
ilivverD
| sometimes wonder why country
editors wear baggy trousers when
they have a press day once a week.
Packers Fight With PEN
Headline. Uhm, yes. Pig PEN" 1
mostly.
Down in the hills of southeast {
Missouri met one of the natives !
who told ME he had never been out {
side OF his county Clancy county,. !
His hair and whiskers were long and t
white. II as ked him his - age. He ?
said he didn't know how old he was r
but thought he must be past 20
years OF age. asked him if he
could remember when Star tobacco
'old at 3 ten cent cuts for two bits
md he said he couldn't, but he had a :
riend further down the creek who
vas 10 or IS years older than he and
,c told me to ask him.
France Goes Money Mad"-l
Headline. Well, others as we'll as
rance may at times be afflicted
likewise. nearly went money mad
nee. dreamed I was a millionaire
nd woke to find that was still
lerryin" on railroad at a dollar
nd a dime per day.
The per capita wealth of Missouri
J $l7.sa which leads me to the con-
fusion that there's somethin' wrong.
is gettin' more than their
hare. l amt got none a-tall.
Drink to me only with thine eyes
And be of right good cheer
Upon the plains (of Mars) there
lies
A lake of foamy beer.
Asked what l knew of the "choir l.
visible" l replied not nothing a-tall.
ut that l knew several choirs that
re positively unbearable.