The Washington herald., 1919-09-08
Such Is Life
As 1t Is Seen
By 0. B. JOYFUL
By DwlG

les, lndeed, cities are wonderful In
sututions. II we had no cities the
rural population would have no place
TO go when It wanted TO let loose
and touch a few high spots" And
there'd be no city slickers" to sepa-
rate Hiram Rube from his harvest
earned coin.
If the city were abolished the ef
feet would be much like cutting OF
a dogs tail. The dog suffers a bit.
but the tail stops wagging forever!
Two well-known American cities are
well near bursting with pride because
OF some rems rkable playing done by
baseball teams they call theirs.
But II it hadn't been for the tiny
village of Millerton, y. Y, the White
Sox wouldn't have Second Baseman
Eddie Collins. II took a Brandon
Mills. s. c., 10 produce a Joe Jack
son.
Cincinnati isn't really winning the
National League pennant The win
ming is being done (for Cincy) by
Oakland City. Ind: Shamokin. Pa:
NOrCross, Ga: Bedford, Ind, and
bunch of other rube burgs.
ROyston Ga. and Hubbard City.
Texas. couldn't pay the score card
bill in a big league. but their native
sons. Ty Cobb and Iris Speaker. keep
baseball alive for Detroit and Cleve-
land
Maybe you think it was possible for
some larg" city to produce the worlds
richest man. 1t wasn't 1t remained
for Richford. y. Y, to give the uni
verse a Rockefeller.
OF course a town with q name like
10. 5rr1,t b. i
with a rich guy.
II takes sturdy little tewn like
Staunton. Va. to produce a Woodrow
Wilson. North Manchester. Ind. gave
us n Vice President. Watcrtown
y. Y. presented the nation with a
Secretary of State. LynchburE. Va.
comes across with a Secretary of the
Treasury when the movies grab a
MCAdoO. MartinSbur-. W. Va. is
right there with n Secretary of War
And Linn County. Mo. produced a
Gen. Pershing. Pell Nell. Tenn. gave
US Hero York.
No one seems to have figured it
out why the biggest men come from
the smallest towns. or why the big
gcst men don't stay in their home
towns.
Also. be it known: The biggest
suckers come from small puddles. 1t
has been estimated that the Masonic
I Temple at Chicago has been sold 1000
times to rural visitors. And only the
other day a rube tried to take pos
session OF Central Park, New York
City. after he bought it from q city
sllcker for s67
Tom Duff believes the small town
is a great plaCe-to come away from
THE smaller it is" Tom says. the
greater the bliss in leaving it
Likewise it has always been a prob
lem. Where do towns get their names? Z?
| 1t is possible that they come from
the same ward which manufactures
Pullman car names. once We thought
jokesmiths made 'em up. But we
gave too much credit to the humor-
lists.
Why Dusty, Wash. or Ike. Tex?
Naturally they would run to Jay.
Every State has jay. Oklahoma
has a Jay. and across the line Texas
planted layton Then Oklahoma
countcred with Jimtown. Iowa and
Indiana think much Of their Jay
towns. Iowa tried to corner the town
name record with a rural villag
rightly named Rubens - filled with
rubes, you know. And Indiana came
over with MuEg.
But OF all rube States Cthis lets out
California. which. according to the
Hughes campaign committee. is only
boob State), Ohio takes the cake.
Not satisfied with a Hicks town. she
named another village HicKsville. And
having a Jays town she called the
next one Jaysville.