The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1919-07-26
BY Robert Welies Richie.

To William Quick. proprietor the oc-
cidental Hotel. Buffalo, Wyo.:
Dear Bill
AS one honest man to another. Bill.
I put 1t TO you fair. If you were
W liking down the street and should
meet two men. one of them an Abys
sinian and the other an honestto-
God American. which do you think
you'd look at the longest?
Wait minute, now, before answer
ing The Abyssinian's about six
feet three. black as the inside of a
gam bier's pocket. his hair. which he's
been wearing in curl papers since he
got out of rompers, stands up about a
foot from the top of his head, he
wears a purple coat and sea green
pants, and across his shoulders he's
slung lions hide, with the south
end OF that defunct lion trailing on
the sidewalk behind him.
Aside from these geographical fea-
lures, the Abyssinian is quietly
dressed.
The Americans just normally rugged
In a suit of store clothes, with a calm
tie and scft Stetson and--~well--hes
carrying a walking stick because he
happens to be in London.
Which of these two would you cast
your gaze at longest?
Wrong again. Bill. I'm sorry to say.
If you were in London and an Eng
lishman it would be an American
who'd grab all the look-see stuff. Any
why?
Here's my Alfy-davy Bill l was
that American.
! was walking down Piccadilly yes
terday enjoying a fine young fit of
the molly blues when ] happened to
ind myself just behind the lion hide
this Abyssinian was packing for an
ornament Well, Id never seen an
Abyssinian before. though I've been
! in Milpitas. Cal, and Panama City.
! and I've seen Mormons out Your way
| So l was gust trailing this particular
f, A byssinian. wondering when he was
| going to turn into the ten twenty
! hirty place and make the big spie1
from the ticket box. and ] was sort
Of lost in wonder at his couture and
things
After about FIVE minutes of this
hound logging on my part ] began
TO wise myself TO the fact that every
Englishman that passed us the
Abyssinian and your little friend
! sort of reared up and cast a swift
glance. Not at the sideshow gentle
man ahead, but AT me. And not a,
me. altogether. but at my hooks.
Then l got the drift | was wear
| ing pair of white silk socks.
Took Socks for n Walk.
You see that morning before / I'M
tethered myself from the stall / call
my room at the hotel I'd gone through
my trunk sort of general-like to see
what the moths had left-English
moths being regular sheep, Bill and
| cutting down right 10 the roots. And
] discovered this pair Of new white
silk socks which I'd cast into that
| trunk in careless moment back
home last August. They looked real
breezy and clipper to me, so thought
I'd take them out for walk
And those white silk socks simply
drove one mans size Abyssinian with
a lions hide shawl right off the range
of Piccadily.
OF course. soon as I discovered I'd
started a prairie fire in London every
where l walked my feet got heavier
and heavier, and l could feel my
ankles--which as you know. Bill, are
slender as a coyote s-growing to the
size of an elephants hind leg. I was
Just naturally plumb stampeded by a
pair OF white silk socks.
AT the dinner hour | asked an Eng
lishman~-l Christianized Englishman
who liked Americans--what the mer
ry Christmas was the matter with
white silk socks.
Dear boy, he whined. they're not
done. you know mean to say white
hosiery, WHAT"
And there YOU are, Bill. They're
not done" That ends it.
man can walk down this little
old Piccadllly place wearing knee
brooches and baggy wooden knee
length socks. with white hobbies
can dress himself up like a Sioux
medicine man with an elephants
breath fork tailed coat and a hard
boiled white hat and say he's going to
Ascot to II foot race or something
But let God-fearing American who
never harmed anybody give his feet
holiday and dress them up for a party
with white silk socks and he'll push
an Abyssinian big chief right out OF
the picture.
There are lots of things besides
white socks which aren't done in this
mans town. Bill. An American over
here gets trickle of the main idea
only gradual For instance, no mat
ter how hot it is you don't leave your
vest Off. and when you get to your
office you don't take off your coat
either. If you did that you'd be I'M
dressed.
Preparing For "Bawth.-
Friend of mine who's newspaper
man over here was tilted back in his
chair the other day with his coat and
vest off--and wearing real fancy
American shirt. too--when an English
man he didn't know very well started
to blow in. Englishman took q fright
ened look at the Americans pink and
white stripes and started to back him
self out the door.
Hey What's the big hurry" the
American yelled. why the sudden
,utT'
Sorry, dear chap" the Englishman
o.eated through his adenoids. go
right ahead with your bawth; I'll tod
lie in later"
1t took y sight OF explaining to con-
vince that English citizen my friend
lid not have q jolly old tub concealed