New Britain herald., 1919-08-21
Still at old 45-Thursday.


 Dearest Joan:
 At four this afternoon l was still determined to marry Jimmie Ross and be rid of him. After all, what a rare thing love is, 4 girl likes a man, is tired working, has an eye to his pay envelope, admires the way his coat fits across the ShOulderS-and is sure she loves him
 As d matter of fact, any nice man would have done as well unless he was bald and cross eyed and wheezed as he proposed. Why, I almost thought I was in love with that vio- lnist, what with my mood and the moonlight and everything. 1 could have been. in just another minute. But when I learned of the wife, l felt only rage on her account and humili- ation on my own. Which shows how all sorts of emotions masquerade as love. We believe them love, we call them love, and marry in the best good faith, not dreaming they have triclled us.
 I made up my mind that the liking I have for Jim, the respect he n- spires, his clcanncss and kindness and honest love for mo were enough to marry on.
 l got myself into the right mood. l recalled Jennie Orson and the movie hero who ran off with her. Remem- Der the snapshots she sent us of their bungalow in Hollywood, with roses smothering it and a sunken garden behind--exactly like views of Para- disc? If he and Jcn didn't marry for love, who did? And now look at them,
 And Ben Foster and Lisa Ellis, who waited nine years for each other and now don't speak.
 On the other hand, there was Trudy | Connors and that chap her mother made her marry. Everybody groaned and gave them six months to live together. Married eleven years so far, and still going strong! Can you beat it, dear? Look at the darling old Brewsters who married in their sixties, and the happicst couple in Bentsville. Respect, affection, com- panionship-that is what they mar ried on--no Hove" about it. I'm not so sure but those feelings are better than the real article-which is so scarce, so tricky and has so many limitations. |
 Jim Whizzed in today, about ten l minutes after I had made up my mind 1 to marry him. The glamour of my mood held and I felt so exalted that l I proposed a walk in the park like q 1 simple factory girl. We sat on a se- cluded bench in the "Ramb1e' and l began to feel that delicious sense of belonging to someone and being taken care of, when Jim suddenly turned and swept me into his arms
 ''Oh, Dolly darling, you're going to ! marry me, aren't you--aren't you? 1 Say you are--say you love me, Dolly l Say it-say it!''
 "Jimmie-don't." I struggled up right and tried to be casual. But my l nerves are paying for what I've been | through-that work for Captain ! Wallis and the drop from hope 10 dsmay, and that awful de Galler 1 with his invitation to glittering sin, ] and my flight from the beach and Jimmie. And now this. Is it q 1 wonder I am all wiggly and jumpy |
 'lForgiVe me, dearest in the World," i said Jim in voice so kind that it i was the one thing needed to finish l me. I'm ashamed to tell you, Joan, 1 but I put my head straight down on l Jimmie'S coat lapel and baWled.
 He put his arms round me and ! softly patted my hair with his check 1 laid against if. But Joan-it was like 1 crying on your brother. No thrili at 1 all Like a flash it came to me what l a wicked thing I was doing both 10 | Jim and to myself. \ quick revu- ! sion came over me.
 q c--can't do if, Jimmie!' I l gasped, sitting up.
 ''Can't what?"
 Marry you. oh, take me home. !