The Washington herald., 1919-07-06
BY ROBERT WELLS RIrCHIE.
Universal Service StaR Corre-
sp0ndent.

BY ROBERT WELLS RITCHIE.
Universal Service stan Corre-
:. sp0ndent.
London. June ITO William Quick.
Prop'r Occidental Hotel. Buffalo,
wyo.; Dear Bill:
You didn't say anything about pants
in your last; but there's nothing in
the Defense of the Realm Act. made
and provided. to head me of this i'm
portant and informing subject. There
fore the text for the day is pants.
Which II will not be British pants
in general. Bill. because this isn't 60
ing to be an encyclopedia. but the
Scotch variety. with the accent on the
Scotch military style Of leg hobbies.
, I've been in London cutie some time
now, but l go on the stampede half
dozen times a day when ] meet up
with a certain species of pants native
to these ciimes. They're called ia
tigue trousers" Bill, by the soldiers
who wear 'em, and the bright mind
who first roped that name for them
probably got an F. r. g. s. to wear
like a lean-to roof after his name.
You understand the regular pants
of the Black Watch or the London
Scottish or any of those alleged High
land regiments are no pants at all
at least none that are visible to the
naked eye, which amounts to the
same thing. Just ktlts. But when the
Scotch officer wants to get out of his
Sundaybest and into his fatigue"
uniform, which you might call his
chore clothes. he sure does make up
for that lack Of pants noticeable on
parade.
Pattern Visible n Mile.
He first goes through the family
attic and finds his Mas old last win
ter's comforte- made in the pattern
Of the family clan-the tartan, you
know, by which you can tell Mac
lavish from a McWhorter away OF
on the sky line. just as you can pick
out crow buck from one of old
Spotted Tails boys by the way he
wears his feather. He takes this to
his tailor and says. MY good man.
cut me a fatigue trouser or two out
of this. Make 'em very roomy
around the waist and skinny at the
ankle. And. my man. don't leave
any of the bally old tatting sticking
In them, for I'm going on fatigue
with these trousers. what-what"
on that old comforter and when he
gets finished William Wallace Nc,
WhiffletreS, Lcftenant of the Royal
Southpaws. put on his dinky Scotch
bonnet and his regulation uniform
coat and Sam Brown belt-which is
designed. Bill, to support his dig
nity-and underneath those things he
buckles these fatigued pants
They're colorcd in squares like the
map of the nesters' claims over along
the Crazy Squaw-here's a square of
green about 4xi. with a yellow boun-
dairy line; there's that new town
site the company from Aurora, Ill.
has got staked out. with a red cross
marking where the courthouse is 70
stand; down the right leg runs the
map OF Clusters last hike over the
Wolf Mountains; the left legs just
various.
Couldn't Find Answer.
First time I saw one OF these loco
pants coming at me down good old
Piccadily-I being a tenderfoot to
London then and not saddlebroke-
why. Bill. ] just naturally looked
all round for the answer You
Enow-a sign on the birds back.
Eat Jazz Jiggers" or "Whitewash-
ing Neatly Done" But nary a Joker
was there into it. Those pants were
"commy fay" Cyou remember what
/ told you about the French stun I
picked up in Paris. Bill; get this
one).
William. there are at a close CEN
sus 1871 of these fatigue four
alarms in London this minute and
nobody bats an eye at en-. But the
other day when 7 strolled down Pail
Mall with a yellow necktie my
wife's sister bought for me at the
Busy Bee Emporium in Tucson.
Ariz.. tied under my Adams ample
just a quiet tie like a moonrise
over Pumpkin Buttes. say-one of
these fatigue-pantsers got the range
of that tie with his monocle and
just blasted it. l could hear the
report when his glance hit the mid
die Of that necktie.
was a 'Fbounder." Bill. because
I sported three inches of what you
might call color above my vest But
that short-horn was fannin' down a
! quiet street with one-half of six
feet a riot and Sioux ghost dance
and a prairie fire all rolled in one
When I see you again I'll tell you
just what the American for bound
err" is; you know, Bill. they're still
censoring letters out of here and one
can't be too careful.
Color Is for Hind Legs.
Color round the neck's a crime in
London. but you can rig out your
hind legs like a Sioux medicine pole
and be Willie Of the Pickleboat So
remember that when you come over
here.
This is British conservatism-the
kind the sun never sets on. Let me
trot another sample out of my
war-bag:
The other day l rose up hungry
from the place where ! put on the
nosebag at a. m. That's my usual
custom. Bill, to rise up from that
place hungry. You'd never even sit
down there-until you got used to
it.
Well, sir. along about time for
somebody to bang the old wagon
tire at IL | softed into an eating
house on the Strand. and when the
undertaker's assistant built up
alongside me. I ordered three eggs
scrambled with a dash. of sowbelly
mi