Trench and camp., 1919-02-20

ferred In Song and Story for several
Centuries. When the first Regiments
arrived and began to perc0late, we
shrewdly suspected that you had
picked out the more robust Lads just
40 O Show-OR. We believed that the
next Lot would be pigeon-breasted
and thin In the Shanks. After Two
Million had arrived, each looking
ready to fight O Bengal Tiger at the
drop OF o Hat, the Fact began to
take Root that We were 400 years
behind Columbus In Discovering
America"
1--WE just been tryin' to figure out
how much Of o Line we had ON Lab
Belle France before William started
this Argument" spoke up the Dough-
boy. "It was q Pipe that all OF Eu-
rope was 200 Years behind us and
deep In the Mud. but we did have o
Warm Spot for the Frogs on account
of Lafayette. OF course, we couldn't
have passed any Civil Service Exami-
nation as to what he really done, but
we knew he had acted Friendly while
we were q Runt and before we be-
came the Greatest Nation on Gods
Footstool, as we used to say away
back In 1916 before we became Citi-
zens Of the World. We had a kind
of indefinite Regard for France as a
Geographical Division, but Musseer
Bonbon as an Individual Proposition
was q plain Joke. 1t never occurred
to us that France was inhabited out
side of Paree. When some one said,
'Frenchman, we could see one Of
these Boulevard Bugs that wore
Corset, put Perfumery on his Eye
brows, and stayed UP all night dane
in the Cancan with Ladies who never
had heard of the Methodist Church.
All the French we'd ever heard in
the Town / came from was 'La-la.'
OF course, we'd seen the Partisan
Bellies in Burleycue, and they didn't
look anything like the Edwards of
great Christian Nation. / understand
now that most of them came from
west of Peoria, but the zap who stays
at Home and buys Patent Medicine
gets to putin his Faith in Labels.
l guess we judged che English by the
English Sparrows and the French by
the Books that the Boys used to hide
in the Haymow, and the Italians by
the Monk that worked in front of
Hand-Organ. I had to come all the
way over here to find out that the
Moolan Ruge has got just as much to
do with France as the Corner Of 42nd
and Broadway has got to do with
the Anti-Saloon League. When
was pushed up into the front Regions
of He'll and saw thousands and thou
sands of these wiry little Cusses
whangin' the Das flights out of the In
vincible Porch-Climbers and Door
Mat Thieves, had to rub out and
start a new Book. When i got into
the Trenches with them 6ghtin'
Hounds, / couldn't discover that they
was much addicted to the use of Eau
de Cologne. On the Contrary, I'll
say that they're the peppiest little
Banty BOOSTERS that ever chased
yellow Hamburg through barb-wire
Fence. / tip the old Bonnet to Par
ley Voc. His Language is q Phony
but his Heart is 24-Carat The same
goes for Sunny It over there. He
may have been o Guinea two years
ago, but now he's my Roommate.
Any one that calls him a Dago had
better hunt a Shell-Hole. When
used to see him wearin' Red Shirt
and boardin' in box car, called
him Tony Spaget and didn't give him
Credit for KNOWN that he had a
Country or a Flag. Somehow, after
a Fellow has stood Elbow to Elbow
with you and you've taken the Tall
Gamble together, he looks about