davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

two one of the great annual festiv3 when the Sultan comes out with all < numerous retinue including t charming maids of honor holding u gold umbrella over him-and parad through the main street of Djokjakari on the arm of his "Elder Brother" tl Dutch resident and real ruler of il province. But we saw, we are su the most charming member of the row family the 2 or S-year-old little prt' cess who is the crown princes dauei ter. She is said to be the favorite the dear old Dutch official in char of us. The little princess was love. grace itself and she. shone like a stl among her retinue of playmates al attendants. As soon as she saw Dutch official she left her devoted fcl lowers and ran across the courtya holding up her little sarong to ked from tripping on it. We stood asil while the old gentlman and the Iftt girl bowed low to each other. Thd she held out one slim little hand wi a royal gesture of command, and | fshed in his pockets for some colore picture postcards which she knew | always brought for her. Another lo bow to him and to us, and she was ( sgain like a little humming bird her nurses and attendants. Dear lit princess! She is not 10 years old VI but may be already betrothed, if nl married, by this time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

though non-smoker, has remembered to provide cigars" Among Little things that flatter," you came upon Being bit ten by the dog of a very rich man." It was capital humor-hit the bulls eye in- variably-and you can say the same of Ades, though he succeeds not so much by detecting unexploited traits of char acter as by kodaking mere surface synp- toms. And yet, Ades kodak is a won der. It records what no one else has the skill to. For example:
 "Once there was nice girl who grad uated from the high school in a white
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

for $5125. in spite of the fact that modern artists are copying this par ticular design with marked success and only the trained expert can detect the difference. At another country sale two Chippendale tables brought $1S0O and a Chippendale cabinet $6251
 Sheraton furniture is not so popu- lar, excellent tables going as low as s100. An old harpsichord in a Will liam and Mary case sold for $2500, and grandfathers clock gave it's for tunate owner $500 in spite of the fact that the clock had probably ceased to tick more than a hundred years ago.
 Illuminated manuscripts also are in demand; and as in the case of furni- ture, record prices are being obtained. Letters of David Garrick, and few by his wife, to noted persons of their time caused spirited bidding, but were withdrawn and will be offered again.
 Efforts to trace the purchasers of some of the choicest offerings have revealed the presence in the market of persons who never before paid any attention to antiques. Many of them are persons who accumulated large fortunes during the war, and now tha: they have acquired fine houses have set out, with the aid of experts, to give them the ancient touch required by good taste.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15
The Funniest Men That Euer Liued Intimate Sketches Worlds HmorTeir Eccentrc ties FOlies and Their FOibles.
 HARTT
No. 6-George Ade.

NCE there was a
 < < . ..... ... !. !. ]. ....
 "Hallucination in Three Spasms," by N George Ade. "The " --zAfA N Sultan of Sulu," SM4ASN -1sRN he called it, and if M XAs&3SS<&%NI you have gray N E%EIL<NE5tSW| above your ears, it N>--zxs.SSssssss@S% / is a pipe that you
 were among those
 present and re- member the Goings On. You saw the Americans swoop down on his Majesty, pinch his Archipelago, reduce him to the lowly but not unenviable Estate of Gov ernor simplify his Matrimonial Entang- dement's, and convince him, by Course of Easy Lessons, that the Cocktail fol- lows the Flag.
 Moral: Shakespeare at his Best has given us nothing in the Least resem- bling it.
 A regular roaring circus was that show of Ade's and replete with instructive episodes. Take the cocktail affair, for instance Brother Anderson himself could hardly have made it more educational. It was a warning to the young and spor- tive With their own eyes they saw a live Sultan reach for cocktails hand over hand and gulp them down, not singly as you might suppose, but one after an- other in amazingly swift succession. This took place at the close of an act. When next seen, his majesty gave evidence of extreme discomfort. "R-E-M-O-R-S-E!' he groaned-
 R-E-M-O-R-S-E! The water wagon is the place for mel" and continued, with here and there a. horrfd pause for sake of emphasis, Tt is no time for mirth and laughter, In the cold, gray dawn of the morning-after!'
 He had a water pitcher with him now
 -koI T ,zf stealing an idea from Eugene Fields immortal lines:
 'swhen a small but fierce volcano vexes
 me sore inside
 And my throat and mouth are furred
 with fur that seemeth a buffalo
 hide
 How gracious those dews of solace that
 over my senses fall
 At the clink of the ice in the pitcher
 the boys brings up the hall
 But Ade never cribs. Instead of counting on mere internal palliatives, the Sultan fished out a big, gleaming bunk of ice and rubbed 1t on his head, and then came the dazzling, unforget- table, uproarious incident of the hat. During the previous act the Ameri- cans had presented his majesty with his insignia of office-to-wit, tall gubernatorial "stove-pipe, which, when he put it on, slipped down around his ears.
 He demanded 1t now. It arrived. He put it on. By jingo, it was as much too small as it had been too large be- fore. You remember. You were there And while logic Ga poor thing at best, the preachers say and I believe them) told you that some cheat behind the scenes had substituted another stove- pipe for the original one you knew in your heart that this was the same identical tile, and could have sworn to it on a stack of Bibles six miles high
 Persanolly, I never saw time when I felt more keenly a desire to yell. Author! Author! and have Ade pop out, and pelt him with American
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

Joking aside, and speaking literally. he is now a gentleman farmer at Brook. Indiana, town of about 450 people. and when not chatting with
 guests from the city likes to be d
 Hoosier among Hoosers and hobncb with the country folks.
 He has known us all. I think he likes
 the farmers best, and I admire him for
 that. If I have quarrel with Ade. it
 is for one thing only; he has never met
 gazele that suited him, or taken a
 shine to any good looking tottie with 1 soulful eyes. or decorated his den with trophies of the chase, or put tag on any Dulcinea Either he is enamored ot single blessedness or overdoes the waiting act. And yet, what was it I heard in a show the other night? Married men
 have better halves, but bachelors have ] better quarters"
 1 Ade certainly deserves his. What great ] CT kindness can you do this world than
 to make it laugh, especially if you are at the same time consummate artist9 Ade Is. However. there are kinds and de- | grees of art. and his is a big degree of .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

Princess Likes Picture Postcards From Hunting Batik in Java" by Ca milla Cantey Sans, in Asia" maga- zine.
 Unfortunately We missed by day or
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-15

Censorship of press messages betwet places within Australia has been di continued.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
DANGER in Abbreviation.

Even the school nurse has her fun.
In a talk before the central philan-
thropic council the other day, Miss
Helen R. Stewart Of the board Of
health told of one little boy who,
after he had been examined by the
nurse, went to the teacher in tears,
complaining that the nurse called him
names.
When the teacher expressed her
surprise, the boy sought to prove his
case by handing her the card the
nurse had given to him as her record
Of the examination.
'Look at that!" he cried.
"PoOr NUT" read the card.
"POor nutrition" explained the
teacher, finally sending the child away
with a better opinion of the nurse
Dallas News.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Great Scott.

An Indianapolis woman had her first
experience with garden last year
She spaded the plot herself and then
planted her seeds. Everything came
up fairly we'll in due time except the
potatoes, and they didn't come at all
In desperation she went to a friend. TIC
her she told Of her failure to grow po-
tatoes. II bought such nice, smooth
ones," she ended her plaint, "and
peeled them as nice as l could"
peeled them!" calculated the
friend.
"Yes," agreed the amateur gardener
"T peeled them as nicely as could and
cut out all the specs just as if 1 were
going to cook them. 1 did hate to put
those great white beauties in the
ground but 1 did and they didn't come
up, and"
"Great Scott" CALCULATED the friend
And that was all.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
A Feeling Of Security

You naturally feel secure when you
know that the medicine you are about TO
take is absolutely pure and contains no
harmful or habit producing drugs.
Such medicine is DR.. Kilmer's Swamp
Root, kidney, liver and bladder remedy.
The same standard of purity, strength
and excellence is maintained in every
bottle of Swamp-Root.
It is scientifically compounded from
vegetable herbs.
It is not a stimulant and is taken IN
teaspoonful doses.
1t is not recommended for everything,
1t is natures great helper in relieving
and overcoming kidney, liver and blad-
der troubles.
A sworn statement of purity is With
every bottle of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp
Root.
If you need a medicine, you should
have the best. On sale at all drug stores
in bottles of two sizes, medium and large.
However, if you wish first to try this
great preparation send ten cents to Dr.
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for .
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

Don't buy Aspirin tablets in pill
box. Insist on getting the Bayer pack
age with the safety "Bayer Cross" on
both package and on tablets. No other
way!
You must say "Bayer." Never ask
for merely Aspirin tablets. The name
"Bayer" means you are getting the
genuine "Bayer Tablets Of Aspirin" !"
proven safe by millions Of people.
Beware Of counterfeits! Only re-
Gently Brooklyn manufacturer was
sent to the penitentiary for flooding
the country with talcum powder tab
lets, which he claimed to be Aspirin.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Rejects Title of "Hon."

II received a compliment yesterday
for which 1 did not thank the giver,'
grumbled old Festus Poster. "a total
stranger wrote me letter and adj
dressed me as the Hon.
II do not know why he should have
applied that epithet to me, unless it
was because he did not know me.
feel safe in saying that even my enc
mics would not charge me with hav,
ing many of the characteristics Of an
Hon.
II am not fawning, smirking blath,
erskite, too lazy to work, nor am a
liar and deadbeat. 1t may be that
1 have one attribute of an Hon.
very likely I am bore, but beyond
that 1 am not guilty. City
Star.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
THE MOST DANGEROUS
OF ALL DISEASES

Get some GOLD MEDAL Haarlenl
Oil Capsules at once. They are an DID,
tried preparation used all over tho
world for centuries. They contain only
old-fashioned, soothing. oils combines
with strength giving and system cleans
ing herbs, well known and used by ply
sicians in their daily practice. GOLD
ported direct from the laboratories I'm
Holland. They are convenient to take,
and will either give prompt relief or
your money will be refunded. Ask for
them at any drug store, but be sure
to get the original imported GOLD
MEDAL brand. Accept no substitutes
In sealed packages. Three sizes.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
JUST AS LAWYER FIGURED IT
Legal Light Had Method of His Own
of Ascertainng Age of Feminine
Witness.

Lou Guernsey has gone on record
that he doesn't think it should be nec'
essary to establish the age of woman
witness in court. He made the state
ment after pulling boner in court the
other day which has put him in bad
in one Los Angeles home, at least.
"What is your age madam Lon
asked of the matronly witness.
"My age, why I've just turned a."
she gurgled.
Lets see When you turn "a it's
49," figured Guernsey. II thank yous
madam"
"You BRUTE" she Kissed, but the
jury was more appreciative.-Los An"
geleS Times.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

In the Bayer package are proper di.
rections and the dose for Headache
Toothache, Earache, Neuralgia, Rheu
|matism, Lumbago, Sciatica, Colds
Grippe, Infiuenzal-C Colds, Neuritis and
pain generally.
'Bayer Tablets Of Aspirin" Ameri-
can made and owned, are sold in vest
pocket boxes of IL tablets, which cost
only few cents, also in bottles Of "a
and bottles of 1O0-also capsules.
Aspirin is the trade mark Of Bayer
Manufacture Of Observation-Disclosures
of Salicylicacid.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

No organs Of the human body are so
important to health and long life as the
kidneys. When they slow up and COM
mence to lag in their duties, look out!
Danger is in sight.
Find out what the trouble is-with-
out delay. Whenever you feel nervous,
weak, dizzy, suffer from sleeplessness,
or have pains in the back, wake up at
once. Your kidneys need help. These are
signs to warn you that your. kidneys
are not performing their functions
properly. They are only half doing
their work and are allowing impurities
to accumulate and be converted into
uric acid and other poisons, which
are causing you distress and will de-
stroy you unless they are driven from
your system.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
information Needs Confirmation.

"Old Dorsey Dudgeon prides him.
self on knowing where the confagra
ton is as soon as he hears the fire
bell ring" related the landlord Of
the Petunia tavern.
"By the time half dozen whangs
have changed he has scrabbled into
a garment or two and is out on his
front porch, hollering to the people
running by just where he knows the
fire is"
"He should be of considerable as
sistance to the volunteer firemen and
others in sending them in the proper
direction" commented the interested
guest.
"Eh-yah! He would be il he didn'1
nine times out of ten know it wrong
Kansas City Star.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Won Tirnitz a Pauper.

The Tribune de Geneve is informed
that Grand Admiral Won Tirpitz is
staying at Wildegg. Switzerland, as
the guest of Lieut. Colonel Willie, son
of the former commander-in-chief Of
the Swiss army.
Tirpitz has lost all his fortune. His
son is a clerk in a bank at Zurich,
and his daughter is a governess in a
Zurich family.
To avoid paying the German war
tax of 1913 Tirpitz invested his money
In Italian securities, with the result
that he is now penniless. What a
patriot!
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Talk of Resourcefulness!

He was discussing Australian re-
sourcefulness, and told how an Aus
tralian and his dog were lost in the
bush. They were starving. The man
loved his dog too well to think Of kill
ing him for food, not wishing to sur
vive his faithful, companion.
At last he had brilliant idea which
would serve to keep them both alive.
He kindled fire, cut off the dogs
tail, cooked it, ate the meat, and gave
the bone to, the dog.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
CLOSING Over the Facts.

"Pa, what is a euphemism?
"I'll have to explain that by giving
you an example, son."
Eyes, pa"
"The dictionary says euphemism
is "a figure of speech by which word
or phrase more agreeable or less offeO-
sive is substituted for one more &C
curately expressive of what is meant,
as in the case of the society reporter
who states that widow who has been
married three or four times is led to
the altar by wealthy old codger who
never had the slightest notion of get.
ting married until he faced the preach.
r."-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
He Knew Them.

"I told you," said the merchant, "to
mark this box Handle with care
What's this gibberish you've scrawled
on it?"
THAT" replied the college graduate,
'is the Latin for Handle with care y
"Huh How do you expect bag
gageman to understand that?"
HE won't, and therefore he won't get
mad and smash the box.
Transcript.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

There is nothing in which people be-
tray their character more than in what
they find to laugh about-GOethe.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

A buzz saw can teach an inquisitive
man more in a minute than the best
instructors can teach him in q life
time.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

The successful man is always busy
whether he feels like it or not. Any
man can work when he feels like it. ,
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

Baby's little dresses will just simply
dazzle if Red Cross Bag Blue is used
in the laundry. Try it and see for your
self. At all good grocers, &c.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Vain Escape.

'T am not rich enough to give you
a large contribution to this cause"
"That is a poor excuse"
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
Just Beuinninu,

Mrs. Finebred-'Is yours an old
family, Mr.. Newpop?" Mr.. Newpop-
Mercy, no! We've been married only
a year."
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

If Eve hadn't been forbidden to eaT
that apple the chances are that te'
wouldn't have happened.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

There is nothing more idiotic than
the smile of a pretty girl-when di-
rected toward some other fellow.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

Authorities differ as to whether a
poker room should be classed as an
ante room or drawing room.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17
What is Castoria

Tuition Will Be Free.
"She says she's going to give sing
Ing lessons" "She'd have to. No
body'd ever pay her for them"
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

When a man begins to discuss mat.
rimony with widow the result is
usually tie.
The Benson signal., 1919-05-17

The Beginning of Economy.
Husband-We'll have to economic,
dear.
Wife-Well, let's smoke less.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-12-23
By Fred TurbYVille.

Now and then we hear of fa- nous ballplayer dropping from the brilliance of stardom at the close of a season to the dim regions of no where at the start of a new year. And the wagg1ng tongues oil up an explanation, blaming it onto the bright lights of the winter months. While the fans sit around the old stove league circuit the idols of the bleacherites occasionally burn up the midnight circuit.
 But if anything is wrong with the outfielding and hitting of George Burns of the Giants, or the pitching of Slim Sallee of the Reds, next spring, don't listen to any such hu- mors. For here are Slim and George down on the farm at Feesburg, O., bagging the nimble cottontail, butchering the hogs, swapping base ball "reminiscences, eating Mrs. Sai- lees home cooking and getting lots of sleep. That is Burns and Sallee's idea of a real winter When Slim heard 'em singing q love the Cows
Bisbee daily review., 1919-12-23
Local-N SPORT REALM-W
SPORT JAZZ
BY RAZz BERRY

BY RAZz BERRY Boxing and Christmas are much the \ same;
 For each is sort of a give-and-take game.
 Portuguese lady is going into the bull ring. Someone must have made her sore throwing the bull at her. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. The Ring of Spain will enter the Olympic games next summer. Let's make the Olympic safe for democracy, Woodrow?
 Won't a king look funny in a suit of beeveedeeZ?
 President Wilson probably win have Colonel House run for him. As a pinch hitter the colonel is a hard working athlete. Jess Willard is charged with profit eering; purchasers probably think it isn't championship timber Jess sells.
 Pnoa City, Okla, is now bidding for the Dempssy-Carpentier fight which will probably result in the sale of lot or two in that city. There is
Bisbee daily review., 1919-12-23

and chickens BUT This Is the Life" he took out the "BUT' and inserted a semicolon, going right on with the tune. He said the song sounded bet ter that way.
 Anyhow Slim has been baseballing for many years now and he always hies himself back to BrOwn-co, O., at the close of a season. A year ago he bought a hundred acres at Fees burg. He raises chickens, tobacco, nice, fat porkers, corn, oats, potatoes and has a few good milk cows.
 In the summer Slim lives at Fees burg, when the club is playing in Cincinnati, making the trip back and forth. When he is away his brother in-law, who lives down the road, looks after things, and of course, Mrs. Sallee stays on.
 Both Rallee and the "missus" were born in the neighborhood and have lived there all their lives. Some times Slim gives his address as Hig- ginsport which has 200 more inhabit- ants. And sometimes they refer to him as the "Higginsport sheriff" |"
Bisbee daily review., 1919-12-23
World
Golfers Will Carry
 Trees Around Link
 in Christmas Match

The golfers are having their day at the Country club. Tournament matches have been in the clubs play during the last two weeks and now comes the Christmas tree match.
 In this match the man who carries a Christmas tree farthest wins
 In the matches played Saturday and Sunday but one club could be used along the entire course. V. Johnson won the Class A title with the score: 49, gross; 4, handicap hd 45, net J. P. Williamson won in the Class B division with 52, gross; s, handicap and A net. In Class B J. E. Lanning lead with 67, gross; IS, handicap and 49 net
 The winners of the December flight are Joe Chapman, A. G. McGregor, B. H, Johnson, A. Dupei and L. Buckwal- ter.
 The Christmas tree match will be started Wednesday. The qualifying rounds for the Jenuary flight will be played Saturday.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-12-23
STAGE SET FOR
 FAST FIGHTING
 CHRISTMAS DAY

Carpenters will be busy today and tomorrow constructing a new ring in Warren Park for the boxing program on Christmas afternoon in which Frank Loughrey, the Philadelphia Bearcat. will do battle with Kid Pal mer. the welterweight champion of the United States army, in the ten round main event for the champion ship of the southwest
 Seats will be arranged at the ring side. in anticipation of a record crowd. These seats will be arranged on a new plan, so as to give everyone full view of the ring, with no interven- ing posts or other obstacles. Four sections of chairs, twenty abreast, will run straight back from each side of the ring, instead of in the usual amphitheater formation. The ring is to be specially padded and constructed of strong lumber.
 Fans will be pleased to learn that Al Williams of Douglas was yesterday engaged by Promoter O. s. French to referee all bouts. Williams has given excellent satisfaction as third man in the ring every time he has served as such. both In Bisbee and Douglas.
 The advance seat sale was brisk yesterday and is expected to attain a record figure by Wednesday. Pal mer has the solid backing of Douglas to win, and hundreds of his admirers are expected up from the border city to witness the bout. Palmer is ruling a favorite, owing to his youth and dash. All concede, however, that IIoughrey is a tough nut to crack and many followers of the game figure that his years of experience, his willing ness to trade punch for punch with younger opponents and his ability to assimilate punishment will prove too much for the army youngster. Pal mer's most ardent supporters are mak- ing no talk concerning knockout, all practically an impossibility for any man of hs weight to put the Philadel- phian to sleep.
 Longhrey. who has fought such men as Carpenter and the late Les Darcy is training diligently, and is confident that on Christmas day he will add an. onther victim to the long list of box CTS whose aspirations toward cham pionship honors he has crushed.
 An added drawing card will be the six-round special event, between John- ny. Meyer, the Bisbee welter, and Young Banta of the Czar shaft. Banta outweighs Meyer by ten pounds, but has not the latter's. experience or science In view of his superior weight and his rushing tactics. the fans are looking for a gruelling battle, with Meyer forced to use every re- source of ring craft to stave off his aggressive opponent.
 A whirlwind affair is in store for the