Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-07-02
The Club of Abandoned Husbands

AJAN: Hullo Socrates what are you
doing patrolling the streets at this late hour?
Surely it would be more seemly to be at
home?
SOCRATES: You speak sooth, Ajax, but
l have no home to repair to.
AJAX: What do you mean by that?
SOCRATES: In the sense of a place of
habitation, dormitory. of course / still have
a home but it is merely an abandoned shell,
dark and silent place devoid of allure. l
have sent my family to the scashore, good
Ajax, and the lonely apartment, with all the
blinds pulled down and nothing in the icebox,
is a dismal haunt That is why / wander
upon the highway.
AJAX: l. too. have known that condition,
Socrates. Two years ago Cassandra took the
children to the mountains for July and Au-
gust and upon my word l had a doleful time
of it. What do you say, shall we have re-
course to beaker of ginger ale and discuss
this matter? 1t is still only the shank Of
the evening.
SOCRATES: 1t is well thought Of.
AJAX: As was saying the quaint part
of it was that before my wife left | had
secretly thought that period of bachelor
hood would be interesting change. L
rather liked the idea of strollng about in the
evenings, observing the pageant of human
nature in my quiet way, dropping in at the
club or the library, and mingling with my
fellow men in fashion that the husband and
father does not often have opportunity to do.
SOCRATES: And when Cassandra went
away you found yourself desolate!
AJAX: Even so. OF course matters were
rather different in those days, before the
archons had taken away certain stimulants,
but the principle is still the same. You
| know, the inconsistency of man is rather en-
| tertaining. j had often complained about
| having to help put the children to bed when
| / got home from the Office. / grudged the
| time it took to get them all safely bestowed.
| And then, when the children were away, I
found myself spending infinitely more time
| and trouble in getting some of my bachelor
| friends to bed.
| SOCRATES: AS that merry cartoonist
| Briggs observes in some of his frescoes, Oh
Man!
| AJAX: / wonder if your experience is the
same as mine was? l found that about six
| o'clock in the evening, the hour when
| would normally have been Fastening home
to wife and babes, was the most poignant
| time. l was horribly homesick. If l did go
| back to my forlorn apartment, the mere sight
| of little Priams crib was enough to reduce
me to tears. ] seriously thought of writing
| a poem about it.
SOCRATES: What is needed is Club Of
those whose families are out of town.
| AJAX: l have never found a club OF
much assistance at such time. 1t is always
full Of rather elderly men who talk great
deal and in manner both doleful and ill
informed.
SOCRATES: But this would be club OF
| quite a different sort 1t would be devised to
offer a truly domestic atmosphere to those
who have sent their wives and Juveniles to
the country for the benefit of the fresh air,
and have to stay in the city themselves to
earn what is vulgarly known as kale.
| AJAX: How would you work out the
plan?
| SOCRATES: 1t would not be difficult
| In the first place, there would be large
nursery, with number of rented children Of
various ages. Each member of the club, has
tening thither from his Office at the conclu.
sion Of the days work, would be privileged tC
nick out some child as nearly as possibl,
similar in age and sex to his own absent off
spring He would then deal with this chile
according to the necessities of its condition
If it were an extremely young infant,
bottle properly prepared would be ready il
the club kitchen, and he could administer 1t
The club bathroom would be filed will
| hilarious members on their knees beside small
| tubs bathing such urchins as needed ii
| Others would be playing games on the floor
or tucking the children in bed. 1t ought /,
| be quite feasible to lire Rumber of childreI
for this purpose. During the day they wouls