davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
HAD THE SPIRIT OF GERMANY
Old Man Green Might Have Been
Model for Some Of the Hun
Statesmen.

A senator was discussing one Of
the German counter-propositions.
"The spirit of the thing" he said,
reminds me Of old man Green.
"Old man Green's house was over
run with rats. and he hired rat
catcher for 81 to clean the rodents
out.
'1'he rat-caeher worked like a Tro-
Jan. He killed whole packing case
of rats. Then he said to the old man;
There you are, Mr.. Green. My
job is done. You1l have no more trou-
BILE with rats, and you needn't bother
about these here dead ones, neither.
I'll cart 'em away myself.
"'How much do owe you. friendY
said old man Green.
=" Two simoleons, like what was
agreed on, boss
'srhen the old man pointed at the
huge packing case and said in a pro-
testing voice:
Don't l get nothing for all them
ratsT"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Courtesy costs nothing. but rewards
LITERALLY.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Perhaps the most notable instance
on record Of a treaty prematurely dis
closed occurred in 1878. when secret
pact with Russia was revealed by
Charles Marvin, a minor foreign office
official entrusted with the task of max
ing copy Marvin sent a summary
Of the document to the editor of Lon
con evening paper. who published 1t.
The sensation was immense and Lord
Salisbury's attempts TO persuade the
house Of lords that the disclosure was
wholly unworthy of their confidence"
wns promptly followed by the appear.
ahee in the evening paper of the com
plete text Of the treaty from Marvln's
wonderfully retentive memory. Mar
win was arrested, but the law officers
discovered that he had committed no
offense known to the law.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
SWAMP-ROOT FOR
KIDNEY AILMENTS

There Is only one medicine that really
stands out prc.eminent as a medicine for
durable ailments Of the kidneys, liver and
bladder.
Dr.. Kilmer's swamp-Root stands the
highest for the reason that Il has proven
10 be just the remedy needed in thousands
upon thousands Of distressing cases.
swamp-Root makes friends quickly be-
cause its mild and immediate effect Is soon
realized in most cases. 1t is a gentle,
healing vegetable compound.
Start treatment at once. Sold at all
drug stores in bottles of two sizes, medi-
Um and large.
However, if you wish to test this great
preparation send ten cents 10 DR.. Kilmer
4 Co., Binghamton. N. Y, for sample
bottle. When writing be sure and men.
ton this paper.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
GREEN'S AUGUST FLOWER

In the good old summer time when
fruits Of all kinds are getting ripe
and tempting. when cucumbers. rad
ishes and vegetables fresh from the
garden are too good to resist. when the
festive picnic prevails and everybody
cyereats and your stomach goes back
on you, then is the time for August
Flower" the sovereign remedy for
tired. overworked and disordered stom-
az $, a panacea for Indigestion. fer
mantation of food, sour stomach. sick
sadact and constipation. It gently
timulates the liver, cIeanses the In
testines and allmentary canal. making
life worth living. Sold everywhere. Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

'In our army" said War Correspond
ent George Patullo. 'it doesn't pay to
pull the long bow.
II once heard a captain scold
doughboy for pottering too long over
his meals.
"'Why. when l was on the west
coast said the captain, I had to hunt
my breakfast in the jungle. Out I'd
start every morning. and I'd penetrate
several miles Into the wilderness, shoot
my food, skin 1t. cook 1t. eat IT, and be
back in camp again inside Of half an
hour
"He paused impresavely, then he
added:
"'of course you've heard of the west
constr
"'Oh, yes, SIR said the doughboy.
Baron Munchausen came from there.
didn't hep"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

II understand Mrs. Twobble and Mrs.
Gadspur have had falling out"
"Alas. yes
rs It serious?"
Il fear so. Mrs. TwobbIe makes the
charge that when Mrs. Gadspur borrow
ed a quarter of a pound of butter she
returned an inferior brand"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

3 Switzerland is a confederation Of
% eantons, three of which, Basel. APP
pencil and Unterwalden. are poIiti-
cally divided into half cantons each.
-Four are called forest cantons, namely,
Schwyz, Uri, Unterwalden and Lu-
cerne. They were grouped about Lake
Lucerne. As Sehwyz was the most
prominent In the war for freedom, and
members Of the confederacy for indie
pendence were known In the outside
world as "Switzers." this canton ulti-
mately gave its name to the entire
league. Each canton has its own con-
stitution and local government and is
divided for administrative purposes
into districts. The districts are in
turn divided into communes. In near
Iy all of the cantons the principle Of
the initiative and referendum is sue
cessfully applied. The Swiss cantons
are republics in miniature, having ex-
tensive power in local affairs.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
PATONlc
10 CToK YOUR AcID-sToMAcD
W. M b. BALTIMORE. ND. s5..1g1e.


While in certain government office
recently Sir Evan Jones. the British
transport chairman. overheard tle fol-
lowing dialogue between two fair type
writer tappers:
Isn't 1t terrible the way we have to
work these days?"
Rather Why. / typed so many let
tiers yesterday that last night finished
my prayers with Yours truly YAM
couver (B. c. Province
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

She was not very young. but she
had money.
Dearest" he began, but she
stopped him.
Il anticipate what you are about to
say, Mr. Sampson" she said, sand l
would spare your feelings. for It can
never, never be. I esteem you highly
and will be sister to-"
81 have four sisters already" he re-
piled bitterly. -four grown sisters. and
life is a hideous burden But, oh,
Clare" he went on passionately. "if
you cannot be my wife. will you not
give me home and mothers pro
tective lover am an orphan. Pear
sons Weekly.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Headline-'-Devn fishing in the Gulf
stream" Hope they catch the OLD
boy.-Boston Transcript.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
MEXICAN PLANT
MAY CONQUER
BRICHT'S DISEASE

New York.--Physlcians who have tested
the sap of the Mexican maguey plant in
the treatment Of diseases OF the kidneys
believe that an Important discovery has
been made. Writing in La Escuela de
Medlcina. the leading Mexican medicine
journal, the editor says; 1T is the only
substance known up to the present time,
In the whole world having the power to
radically and permanently overcome
Brights Disease"
Reports Of definite results In a large
number Of chronic and long standing
cases Of kidney trouble have created a
persistent demand for this sap which
Is popularity known under the name Of
AGMEL. and considerable quantities are
being Imported into the United States.
The Arrow Chemical Co, 81 Union
Square, New York City, will mail to those
Interested free descriptive booklet; or
upon receipt OF $500 a full sized bottle Of
AGMEL. containing 1856 cubic centimeters
OF pure concentrated sap, will be sent to
any address IN the U. s. A. OF Canada, all
charges prepaid.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Mrs. Bernard f. Grace. collector
Of st. Louis. submitted a rare Per-
sian shawl at the New York Metropol-
itan museum. The owner had traced
Its history back 165 years. The shawl
is eleven feet by four feet, worked in
long flowing designs of the palm leaf
and the River of Life with the stories
of the mosques. The predominating
colors are mellowed garnets and
brown. with alternating sheens of steel
gray and rusty brown. A Washington
expert to whom the shawl was shown
said its makeup probably represented
the lifetime of the weavers.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

On the Muir fruit ranch, between
Van Mugs and Lankershim, is the lar
gest apricot tree in the world. In the
opinion of ]. W. Grimes, wen known
figure in the fruit industry. who In
spected the arboreal giant last week.
the Los Angeles Times said recently.
1t is thirty-five years old.
The tree. measured by Mr.. Grimes
and G. A. Huffaker was found to be
fifty-four and half inches in cireum-
ference at point two and half feet
from the ground. 1t is twenty-five
feet high. Mr.. Grimes is said to have
visited almost every fruit-growing re-
gion in California and has made a spe-
clal study Of apricots.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Cases OF shell shock and army nerves
are being treated by an officer of the
British medical corps through study OF
the patients dreams. The afflicted
man is persuaded to relate the feat
ures Of any nightmares or other dreams
concentrating particularly upon the
emotional recollections. The observani
physician is able to identify. by the ex-
preston Of the subject and sometimes
by symptoms Of terror, the exact ma
ture Of the disturbing vision, and there
by TO adopt means to combat its in
fluence.-Popular Mechanics Magazine
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

! improved in health so could do my
Homework; we now have little one, ali
Of which | owe to Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound. - Mrs. o. S.
JOHNSON, R. No. 3, Ellensburg, Wash.
There are women everywhere who
long for children in their homes yet are
denied this happiness on account of
some functional disorder which in most
cases would readily yield to Lydia Z.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Such women should not give up hope
until they have given this wonderful
medicine trial, and for special advice
write Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co.,
Lynn, Mass. The result Of 40 years
experience is at your service.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

"Weli, senator. are you feeling the
public pulse these daysY"
81 don't have to exert myself to do
that" replied Senator Twobble. "Tm
swamped with kilograms from my CON
stituents every day ard judging from
the way most of those messages read
the public's pulse is considerably ac-
CELEBRATED. Birmingham Age-Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

A little four-year-oId. who is most
emphatically opposed to having her
face washed. said to her grandmother
the other day:
AZ am not going to wash my face
any more"
When asked for an explanation, she
said; 1--WE decided to have 1t dry
cleaned"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

A cat bit him and Levi Kurtz, a
Pennsylvania farmer, died. He found
cat chasing his chickens and tried to
seize the animal, which buried its
teeth in his hand. The cat would not
let 60 and a neighbor chopped Its
head of. Hydfophobia developed some
weeks later and treatment at the Pas
teur institute. Pittsburgh, was unavail-
ing
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Harold and his mother had been on
a journey and on coming home stopped
at hotel. When they had retired
they found the bed full of bedbugs.
They summoned the landlady and
asked her for another room, where
upon she said: "Why. | didn't know
there was single bedbug here" NO"
replied Harold. "they's all married and
has got families. Chicago American.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
N Vermont Was Flat.

met Vermont Yankee lately. and
the main thing he Dragged about was
the amount of maple sugar shipped
from his town every spring. But he
did not say that Vermont rolled out
fiat would be as big as ohio.-E. W.
Howe's Monthly.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

1t was Mrs. Youngbride's first ex-
perience in marketing. How DO fish
comef' she asked the dealer.
an various sizes, ma'am.r
Then give me pair of seyens.
That is the size of the gloves wear"
Boston Evening Transcript.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Have the Blitherbys named their
new twins yetg'
''Yes, but they were not given the
names applied to them by Mr.. BlIthers-
by when they first arrived"
"What did he call the precious
pairs"
Trouble and More of It.'"-BIr.
mingham Age-Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

and a good deal Of
the time was not
able to go about.
Our greatest desire
was to have a child
in our home and one
day my husband
came back from
town with a bottle
Of Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable
Co m on nd and
wanted me to try it
1t brought relief
&c. LrH
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

is the jury still out?"
Yes" said the sarcastic lawyer for
the defense sAnd TN not surprised"
mop
when looked In the faces of those
Jurors could see there was nobody
home.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

My husband and l went to strange
town to be married, and after we got
off the car we asked man the way
to the courthouse. He told US where
to turn after so many blocks and we
started out and arrived at the jail.
Wonder If he was married. too7-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Caller-It's good thing to teach
your boy the value of money, as you
are doing.
Hostess-well. don't know. He
used to behave for 10 cents, but now
he demands a quarter.-Boston Eve
ming Transcript.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

"You haven't made a speech for
some time"
''No," said Senator Sorghum: my
speeehmaking got to interfering with
my politics, so ! had to give IT up and
keep my mind on the game"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

"subbubs, why don't you make a
garden?"
"Tm willing. If you'll tell me what I
can grow with a tin can substratum
and ashes for a top soil."-LouisvIae
Courier-Journal.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

It was Mrs. Youngbride's first ex-
perience in marketing. "How do FISH
Gomez she asked the dealer.
I'm various sizes, ma'am."
Then give me pair of seyens.
That is the size of the gloves wear.
Boston Transcript.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Gazing at group of nine children,
an old lady called one of the little
girls.
care all of these children your sis
tiers and brothersq" she asked.
ayes. num-" replied the youngster.
What Is the largest one named7"
Maxi. num-"
sand what do you call the smaller
1neT
Minnie. mum"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

HAS Scribson found anybody to
produce his play?'
"No. He's still living in hopes"
'If he can keep his landlady In that
frame Of mind, well and good"--Bir-
mlngham Age-Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

That itch and burn with hot baths
Of Cuticura Soap followed by gentle
anolntings Of Cuticura Ointment.
Nothing better, purer, sweeter, espe-
cially If little of the fragrant Cuti-
eura Talcum is busted on at the I'm
fish. Csc each everywhere.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
Mistaken.

Maud-Your friend. Miss Blank. 60
ing to be married7 Why. had the
impression that she was a woman IN
her declining years.
EtheI-Oh, dear. no, she's In her ac-
cepting ones.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

'wiggins is chap who will prom
lee anything
"Bui does he keep bis promises7"
HE must; nobody sees or hears any
thing of them after,vardsn
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
why RAJ

Why Rats Should Be Exterminated.
One rat will eat or spoil four bush
els Of grain year. 1t costs 50 or So
a year to feed a rat on your place.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Harry bought his bride beauti-
full set of moonstones on their wedding
trip"
Then I should call them honey
moonstones."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Doorknob screws often work out and
let the knob come of. This may be
prevented by removing loose screws.
covering them with glue and screwing
them back into place.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

@Some people think movies are dan
gerous to the sight"
well, they do make film come
over peoples eyes"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

"Do you know if it is true that
Jones son became an aetor2"
mo, don't All know is that he
went on the stage"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
BELCHING
Caused by
Acid-Stoniach

Let EAToNIc. the. wonderful modern
stomach remedy. give you quick relief
from disgusting belching. food-repeatings
indigo bloated, gassy stomach, dyspep-
pia, heartburn and other stomach miserses-
They are all caused by Aeid-Stomach from
which about nine people out Of ten suifer
In one way or another. One writes as fol7
lows; Before used EATONIC, could not
eat a bite without belching II right up. sour
and bitter ! have not had bit Of trouble
since the first tablet"
Millions are victims of Acid-Stomach
without knowing It. They are weak and
ailing, have poor digestion. bodies improp-
erly nourished although they may eat heart
ily Grave disorders are likely TO follow Il
an acid-stomaeh Is neglected. Cirrhosis OF
the liver, intestinal congestion. gastritis.
catarrh OF the stonsach--these are only n
few OF the many ailments often caused BY
Acid-Stomach.
A sufferer from Catarrh Of the tonaach
Of IL yeai standing writes: II had catarrh
OF the stomach for II long years and never
found anything to do me any good--just
temporary reiief-untii used EATONIC- IL
Is wonderful remedy and do OF want 10
be without It."
II you are not feeling quit rght--laei<
energy and enthusiasm and 9o..'. know Just
where to locate the trouble-try Z ATOMIC
and see hov much better 20 wi feel In
every way.
Al all drug stores--a big b for SOC. and
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Mrs. Casey-An' phwat are yez doln'
wild thot income tax paper. Caseyi
Casey-Ol'm thryln' to figger out
how much money Of save by not hav-
In anny.z-Life.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

A gentleman is a man who wouldn't
argue one second with any other wom-
an but his wife.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

She-"I never could see why they
call boat She" Evidently
you never tried to steer one"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

For speedy and effective action Or. pesry's
dead Shot" has no equal one dose only
viii clean out Worms or Tapeworm Adv,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Old people who are feeble and younger
people who are weak, Will be strengthened
and enabled to so through the depressing
heat OF summer by taking Groves tastelesg
chill tonic. Il purifies and enriches the blood
and builds up the whole system. You can
soon feel It's Strengthening. Invlgorating
Enect. ann.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

81 am told that you referred to me
as an ogre"
1.-THE idea r.
Don't try TO evade the issue,
madam, Did you or did you not call
me an ogre?T
certainly not I wouldn't be so I'M
Kind merely said your face threw
my little Christopher into commissions"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Our idea Of a pleasing conversation
alist Is one who possesses the faculty
of making long story short
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Bob-''Is the lady in pink an old
flame of yoursY' Jack-"No. confla-
gratIon; nv ex-wIfe."
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

TIL occasional use OF Roman Eye Baisam
At night will prevent and relieve tired eyes
watery eyes. and eye strain. Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Stranger-Beg pardon. sir. how far
is it to the North station?
Golf Bug--I should say about full
drive, three brassies and a putt.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

All the world loves a winner-with
the exception of the loser.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Never be ashamed to show your re.
spect for honesty in whatever guise II
may appear.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

About the only way to convince O
girl that her favorite young man is moi
an angel Is to let her marry him.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

One seldom realizes that he is wrong
until he is found out.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

Some men just can't foot a bin with
out kicking.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29

It's surprising what a number OF
practical things are impracticable
when Won try them.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
THE JOY or
MOTHERHOOD
Came to this Woman after
Taking Lydia E. Pinkhan's
Vegetable Compound to
Restore Her Health

Ellensburg, Wash.--" After I was
married was not well for long time
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-08-29
ITuFR2W Rests, Relreshes, sooihes,

The shortest horse gets the longest
odds.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1919-09-05
AUGSBURG MAN TO
SUCCEED HILYER

The appointment by the board Of ad.
ministration of Dr. John O. Evjen OF
Augsberg seminary, Minneapolis, to
be president Of Mayville normal, sue.
ceeding Dr. Hilyer, was announced to.
day by Secretary Charles Liessn,an.
Mr.. Evjen is a graduate of Augsberg
and has bee ma member Of its faculty,
filling the chair Of history. He is an
alumnus of the University Of Mime.
sofa and Of Leipsig.
P. J. Iverson, superintendent of
schools in Nelson county, is said to
have been the boards second choice
for the Mayville presidency.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1919-09-05
MISSOURI POLICE
ANDCAR BANDITS
FIGHT IN STREET
Several Officers Injured in Run
ming Battle With Gang Of
Auto Thieves
MUCH BOOTY RECOVERED

Kansas City, Mo-, Sept. 5.-One
policeman was dangerously wounded,
another injured and three of their al
legged assailants were wounded in a
downtown street skirmish early to-
day.
The policemen members of new
ly created squad to curb motor car
thievery, were searching for owners Of
a car said to contain rifles, ammuni-
ton and a quantity Of nitro glycerine
and had entered the dark hallway OF
an old building in the business dis
trict when the alleged bandits opened
fire, and running fight Of several
minutes duration began.
A pretensious arsenal also contain
ing checks and papers bearing the
name Of a Kansas bank which was
recently robbed was found in the house
later, according to police, who believe
that the headquarters of an organized
band Of bank robbers and motor car
thieves was revealed by the shooting.
Among the property said to have
teen found by the police. in the alleged
bandits headquarters were Liberty
bonds worth $3S, 900.