davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Dinner Stories

In his book, From GaIlipoh to Beg
dad" Padre William Ewing tells tbs
story of burly Irishman brought into
the field hospital suffering from many
wounds.
What are your" asked the doctor.
Sure, I'm half an Irishman."
And what's the other half"
Holes and bandages.'
A retired army officer tells of an
army examiner who had before him
very dull candidate The man
proving, apparently, unable to make
response to the most simple Ques-
tions, the examiner finally grew I'M
patient and, quite sarcastically, put
this question:
Let it be supposed that you are a
captain in command of infantry In
your rear is an impossible abyss. On
both sides of you there rise perpendi-
cular rocks of tremendous height In
front of you lies the enemy, outnum-
bering you ten to one. What, sir.
in such an emergency, would you do?"
Il think, SIR said the aspirant for
military distinction, Il would resign
Now, Lieutenant Tompkins,' said
the general, you have the battalion
in quarter column, facing south How
would you get it into line in the quick.
est possible way, facing north-east?"
We'll, SIR said the lieutenant, after
a moments fruitless consideration,
do you know, that's what I've often
wondered"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Good Evening
BY ROY K. MolILT0N

ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT
Old Ed Oliver says the mule will
be the next thing to be legislated out
of existence. The people seem to be
against anything that has a kick in 1t.
Gerald K. Rudolph, managing editor
OF the Buffalo Enquirer" has donned
the cap and bells and will scintilate on
the first page of his paper. He calls
his new column the Port Side Col
umn" and we hasten to extend our
sympathy to him in his never ending
chase for the daily wheeze. Rudolph
has mean advantage over most col
umn conductors. He Is the boss, and
there is no one to edit his outbursts.
We sincerely trust he keeps out of
jail in his new vocation.
Freddie Hohenzollern says he will
take $4,000 for his fur oyercoat. We
don't blame him. But If anybody
wants to buy an overcoat we have
one we will sell for $3.50.
1t may have been noticed by some OF
our regular readers that this column
has been rather full of wheezes lately,
grabbed from hither and yon. Tie
reason is that we have been having
the flu, which for several days set our
well-known efficiency back about six
teen klowatts. Being fat land lazy"
as Burns Mantle says. the flu struck
US rather hard. but we got out in time
to wear our last years Easter hat,
and take part in the parade. We
were a little slow about having this
fashionable ailment, but, as somebody
said: Better late than never"
Benjamin Franklin Hickman tells
US of his conception of the champion
tough-luck guy of the UNIVERSE
friend of his. This man paid for
81 900 operation on his wife on Thurs
day and on Friday she sued him for
divorce.
Do you dine or do you just have
dinner? Much depends upon your an
swer, for, according to a society ex-
pert there is just as much difference
between the elect and the outsider
Think is over well and send sealed an
swers to the editor of this column,
who is getting up blue book.
In Brest it rains 800 days out Of a
possible 365 every year, which leads
the Parsons Sun" to remark that it
must strain even the thrifty French
to lay up something in that locality
for rainy day.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05


China and Japan Under the Tsingao Us
hanung peninsula Japan retains give
China
commercial Germany Including mines
and port facilities a Tsingao. '' 'e '-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
IF the various persons and organizations that have
declared purpose of launching crusade against
tobacco really want to fight to solve big problem,
and to aid removing dire evil they would do well to
direct their energies finding suitable substitute
the saloon
When Intelligent opposition came to be made against
the club but that alcohol took the place in
the lives of of many comparatively innocent
things in lives of its And the soundest
thinkers subject concluded that to destroy the
saloon without at the time supplying a substitute
would be blunder from which dangerous evils might
result.
Now the saloon is go, tina nks to God and the
prohbtoniss the substitute is not at hand Several
things including tobacco shops have been mentioned
few have been tried certain extent, but has
proved its case or promises be satisfactory.
On the other hand there is evident, not only wider
use of all it's FORMS but of cheap and dangerous
alcohol substitutes narcotic drugs. 1t has
been clearly established that the of these drugs
in the majority due the prohibition of alcohol
but that such is often the cannot be doubted.
Native born are the greatest drug addicts
in the world declares the Literary Digest basng it's
assertion report of committee appointed by the
secretary treasury make national investiga
ton of the drug This committee in its preliminary
report while stating that testimony thus far in
concsive yet gathered facts relative to the after
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Memories Of Old DAYS
In This Paper Ten Years
AGO Today

Mayor-elect w ". Zimmerman
promised the people of Richmond
clean administration.
DR.. S. E. Smith was chosen one OF
the delegates to the National confer
enee of Charities and Corrections.
Four hundred attended the annual
Commercial club banquet
Council members and the board Of
works went to indianapolis, Lebanon
an dother cities to see the central
heating plants.
All traction between Indianapolis
and Richmond stopped because of
trouble at the power house.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Boy Scouts To Serue
As "Gleaners" In Drioe
(By Associated Press,

NEW YORK, May Boy Scouts
will serve as cleaners after the reap
ers," in greater New York for the last
five days of the Victory loan cam
paign, it was announced today.
In other places in the second federal
reserve district, which includes New
York, parts of New Jersey and Con
necticut, the scouts will serve for
the last seven working days-May
to 10-at the direction OF local liberty
loan committees.
In addition to helping as solicitors,
the services of the scouts will be made
available to loan cimmittees as mes
sengers and for distributing printed
matter, incleading PAMPHLETS or post
ers and for the purpose of advertising.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
r4s eEoaeE MATHEW ADAMs DA1Lx TAX
NM IDEA OF GOD

the place.
have Him in the many. l
times
do not with He
something Spsomething
Understanding everything
BEST of everybody.
e s IN
feeling slightest
outside
pared by the
My God is Divine everything good and D
everything
done by Him in OF believe to be inspired
great
and the glory Of the God in whom do believe.
in
in
The God in embodes
Lowell
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Sends Birthday Message
To Ex-Kaiser, Belgian
Gets Prison Sentence
(By Associated Press,

DUSSELDORF, May 5-Commercia
councillor Underberg of Moers, Belgi
UNI, whose estate abuts the Dutch
frontier, instructed his minister tc
cross the border and dispatch a mes
sage of birthday greeting to the for
mer German emperor.
The latter acknowledged the com
pliment on a postcard which fell into
the hands of the Belgian authorities
Underberg was prosecuted and sen
fenced to Jail with a fine of hundred
francs for carrying on forbidden com
munication with the former emperor.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
German Militarism
Is Broken Forever,
States Hindenbure
tBy Associated Press,

COBLENZ, May German mill
tarism has been broken forever" is a
statement attributed to Field Marshal
resignation have been received here.
General Groener. former head Of the
department of munitions and who has
been the field marshals chief Of staff,
is mentioned as his chiefs successor,
according to news received here from
Kolberg.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
Weather Lore

THAT the average person is interested in the
weather cannot be denied" says the New York
Sun. "In fact, it is the most talked of subject
on the calendar. On arising in the morning one
usually goes to the window, glances skyward and
makes his or her own observation and in turn
prediction for the day.
Nearly all amateur weather prophets resort
to the old signs and do not depend on the baro-
meter supplied by scientific study and produc-
ton. Each has his own individual idea or notion
as to the atmospheric conditions and changes.
Below are some of the simple signs that have
been put into verse and handed down through
many generations and which seldom go amiss:
Red in the morning the sailors warning;
Red at night the sailors delight.
When you see a mackerel sky,
Twill not be many hours dry.
When the seagulls inland fly
Know We that storm is nigh.
A ring around the moon
Means storm is coming soon.
When it rains before seven
Twill clear before eleven.
Some other indications are:
when standing on high ground and the hori-
zon is unobstructed from all quarters, if the sky
is absolutely cloudless, look for storm within
forty-eight hours.
IF it starts to rain after o'clock in the
morning it will continue to do all day and very
often it is the indication of a three days rain
when it is raining and it brightens and dark
ems alternately you can count on an all day rain,
with chance of clearing at shutdown.
when the rain ceases and the clouds are
still massed in heavy blankets sure sign of
clear weather is the patch of blue sky that shows
through the rift large enough to make pair of
sailors breeches'.
Another sign of continued rain is when the
smoke from the chimney hovers low around the
housetops When it ascends straight into the
air this indicates clearing weather.
"a foggy morning is usually the forerunner
of clear afternoon.
"a thunderstorm in winter usually in Janu-
airy of February is always followed by clear,
cold weather 1t is not, as many think, the break
ing up of winter.
people living near the seashore say storm
is brewing when the air is salty, caused by the
wind blowing from the east
"a red or copper colored sun or moon indi-
Gates great heat. A silvery moon denotes clear,
cool weather.
THE old Indian sign of dry month was when
the ends of the new moon were nearly horizontal
and one of them resembled hook which to
hang his powder horn.
MANY people troubled with rheumatism and
neuralgia usually are excellent barometers and
can predict changeable weather by feeling it in
their bones.
"And the advice of the old weather sage is
never go out during April month without being
accompanied by your umbrella
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
OXFORD TO CLEAN UP

OXFORD, O., May 5-Mayor Hughes
has ordered the annual cleanup OF
the village. This will be cleaning
week for residents of the north side
and next week the south side will
clean up. These clean-ups occur ever
year, partly as a matter of sanitation
and partly in order that the village
may look we'll during the commence
ment season.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05

ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT
Old Ed Oliver says the mule will
be the next thing to be legislated out
OF existence. The people seem to be
against anything that has a kick in It.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
ULTIMATuM TO RUMANIANs

(By Associated Press)
LONDON, May 5.-The Russian
Soviet government has sent an ulti-
matum to Rumania demanding the
evacuation of Bessarabia.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
War S Effect on Play

While the general effect of the war upon play
grounds is still an open question, there is no
doubt that this country has been awakened, by
the war, to keener sense of the Importance of
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-05-05
DEFEND RATE INCREASE
(By Associated Pressl

tBy ASSOCIATED Press)
WASHINGTON. May 5.-The gov
eminent yesterday filed a brief in the
United States Supreme Court, defend
ing the increase in intra state tele-
phone rates
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
Inv THE
FRONT ROW
HEADLINERs TONIGHT.
The skaoe.

zarpow's American Girls
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21

which scenes are actually directed BY
tile producer at the bottom u The sea.
The big punch Of "Ths White TIeath-
eTst IS q fight between the hero and
Ike villain in their dee1 sen diving
suts which occurs Upon the. bulk Of
q sunken yacht while sharkS and S;itJ.
sca animal life dart back and forth
in front Of the camera. The strug-
gle end when one Of the men cuts
Bis own air hose by mistake.
Tho staging of these scenes was
made possible by the invention OF the
WiEliamon Brothers.
The director did not handle his play
ers from q deep sea glass "ball" or
any, other enclosure, He 'donncd a
diving slrit and, from the ocean floor
itself. handled his players by a SER
les of signals. Mr.. Tourneur, the d.
roc;Gr, says. AZ first the weight Of
the headpisce and the heavy loaded
boots seems terrific the rest of your
body appearing eliminated. You go
under the surface OF the water with
genuine relief for the pressure re-
lieYes the awful weight. Believe me.
the bottom Of the sea has been ire
mendousGy overpraised. / found tin
cans, broken bottles and other unTo-
mantle refuse. But there we were at
the entrance to San Pedro harbor.
"As an odd fish darted by me,
seized it with my bare hand but II
stung me. left the rest Of the deep
sea fish strictly alone,
Believe me. walking at the bot
tom of the sea is harder than climb
ing the Weehawken hills. When
came to the surface and had my head
piece unscrewed, the persoiration was
pouring down my face. Let me say
right here that If there's an..hing
harder than directing it's deep sea
diving. The hardest thing about div
ing is going down the second time
That makes will power plus! My next
picture isn't going to be deep sea
Onem
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
FAIRNONT WOMAN
HAS INTERESTING
STORY TO Relate
Mrs. Hall Declares She Can
Advise Anyone to Try
Perfect Tonic Trutona.

The statementSof local persona
resident of your home town, Is the
best evidence in the world that can be
gubmttted in behalf of medicine or
anything else. Although introduced
here but short I me ago, local peo-
pie are already pub licly pralsing Tru-
iona, thepeRfect tonic. Mrs. Ora Hal
A years old, %ho yes at I'll Market
street, Fairmont, 81 sess
eve suffered frun kidney tFNNhle
for the past four d five years. l.
had such dreadful p its i the small
Of my back that Liquid ardly bend
over. Severe paihs Under my shout
der blades would cut aAor my breath
i7lg If l attempted to he a long
breath. I'd become 50 tervous at
times I'd shake and tlFa he and feel
as 'hough l were going , pieces. I
use 70 have dreadful ms in my
hsa4 and would someti4 s xperience
sharp, shooting pains erg ny eyes
il was bothered conside "a ly 18th con-
stfpation, too, and n lppe tie was
very trreSular-one aylI q uld eat
and the nek u day q uldEG.<
SRm so 1uch bel Ter in every way,
since Ntaking ATrutd la that I'm glad
to say a good wor for the medicine,
NV Kidneys ba approved to such an
extent that INN % longer bothered
with the former IN in my back and
I'm not nearly Rervous as l was
The former sew Fe Pins in my head
have also disap eare Trutona has
regulated my b wells, %. AS said,
/! feel better in very WI since using
Trutona, and can advh anyone to
give It a fair 7 Ial."
None Can di pl iat. sincerity OF Mrs
Hairs >stateme7 and many will, no
doubt become Interested in Futoua
as a result Of this well-knownN wom-
ans praise. I8ntona has proven tn
be unsurpassed as a rccoustrucbve
agency and system purifier, giving
health and strength to weakened and
rundown men and women.
Trutona is now being introduced
and explained in Fs.k.nont ht ahe
Crane Drug Co.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
Don't Let That
Rheu rlatism Get
You This Winter
How to Avoid It.

The pain and misery Of tHoPe awful
RheumattS attacks Vial agai1 come
suddenly ufon you unless ou are
careful. Don e<oYeFleok the aetNf hat
It is uric acid ae blood dat c7ase'
Rheumatism/ ~A
Get a thdEoughly bod brood -
one that prd ytdes strt pgtR to W sys
tenn and tax, 1t now, bloos ood likd
Noyo-san th, { enrich the blOoA ana
strengthens he Adnd 80 theA Gan
6 ntsF a cid ak, S slus 9s{ Kidneys
cause most H6eumati be- eause they
can't take the URIC acia pt OF the
blood. WI -.
hood strengthening elemehts that go
right into the blood, givtn it new Vi
ATTY and giytng nGlrssb4 eut to the
ldneys, cleansing and Strengthening
Them. Tim the poiso4ous waste
matter Of he blood vi lch causes
Rheumatism IS filtered out OF the
blood ttrouh Ne kidney and passes
put Of the syst p and our case On
Rheumatism shot disa1 pear.
!Iova-san is his bly, recommended
BY. doctors to all sd rere q from rheO-
rnatism. It costs II aud can be
lSbtatned from drpggtst like Fatrmont
Pharmacy, FaiImont; 1ndHof. Nh
.aongah; w. P. Moran, "a ptngton; F.
]. Yost, Fairview.
The results Of NoVo San u "a days
viii surely please you Go TOD n and
ret some Novo- San oup never re-
gret it.-that Is sure.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21

I he Screen
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
oMickev,t Drew Well.

Attendance at the Grand yesterday
vindicated the Judgment Of Reno Flem
Ing that there were enough People
who would look at a good picture,
twice. together with those who haa
never seen mickey" to make 1t worm
while 10 bring It back. And the same
result has been found at every repeat
date. Wheeling has played the same
picture four times and it has drawn
we'll Briefly Mickey is an orphan
of a story people like, and the star
Mabel Normand has never appeared In
ANYTHING which suited her hall so
well. Briefly Mickey Is a nodpnan'
brought up by her fathers partner
Joe Meadows and his houskeeper. an
did indian woman. When Herbert
Thornhill visits the West, lie falls IN
love with Mickey, and the trou0iel
Meadows bethhks himself Of MicKeys
aunt, Mrs. Drake, social pretendeF
for advice. BY telling Mrs. Drake
that Mickey Owns a gold mime he az
,snres her reception but when II Is
fond that the mine does not ray
Mickey becomes a slavey. Thocn,"l!
meanwhile, becomes engaged to her
cousin, Else !'rake, who tA2,Ts hin
over when size is told thu; his fot-
tune has b,tr wiped away. Then ne
and Mickey marry to find that III loss
If The fortun" was merely =. trfcE CT
Il:e lawyer to free him from E'sia.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
Anti-InNuenEa Sample

Knew Pima is AXcel lent for the little
hurts Of the childSe8 as it affords in
slant relief to pih and soreness.
Used for Group, it Nieves the conges-
ton, stops the coughing and the little
one passes peacefully 10 sleep. A jar
should be kept ina the medicine cabi-
net of every family
At all drug storek in Is and 50 cent
jars. Keep a little n your nostrils and
purify the air vol breathe. Send a
postcard with you name and receive
a generous anti.flm sample free post
paid. Address The Krew-P Pima Com
pany, Waynesburg, Penna.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
RELIEVES
IRFLAM NATION
And KNOCKS COLDS
Krew-Pina aIaR Splendid
for Cuts, Burnt !, Bruises,
Bronchitis, TonsiIitis and
SOre Throat.

Krew-Pina Ia an ointment that re-
lieves internal aud eXtei pal inflamma-
ton. Gives quicEtyeiedf to colds and
often prevents pneuRpn b by breaking
your cold while in tn y rst stages.
Krew-Pina is a pl] asapt household
ointment that will no bl lstsrthe skin.
1t relieves rapidly WI erdyer Il is used
and is splendid for co ighf, coldsAcroup
tspsilitis lind bronchi is. Sore aching
eject are soothed and CON forted by an
applfeati b ,of Krew Pins Asthma,
pleurisy, headache and p sllrRlgia are
speedily relieveG Soh6 poifs ana,
muscles, sunbu b and insect tes ~
spond q ickly one aptiig &tion.
Eczema, cuts, burns and nrv yes van
ish und r Kr -Pina. 5eves ca
tarrh an draas pain fro4 sore throat
Splendid At06 for sprai1B, chilblains,
hay fever, stiff neck cold sores,
whooping cough and IN by other min
or ailmentA that bes the average
family.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21

PsMine Frederick Two Days
For the last two days Of the week
the Princess Is showing an adapta-
don II the play Lefty" the screen u
tie being Loves Of Lefty" Pauline
Frederick Is in the stellar role. The
Pathe News is the added feature.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21
Second Run at Dixie.

Today is the second run of the
picture Destiny" at the Dixie. The
picture was reviewed in these, col
umns yesterday. Today also witness
es the last episode OF taa serial 1.-THE
Perils Of Thunder Mountain
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21

u.
Z Gays, Raymond Lewis payed
~ chink part in the last show at tne
HIpp last night and ash Jack l1quay
Il he didn't do 1t well. We're is no"
II came about. Raymond and his com
pany were laying over in Clarkspurg
until Saturday, and decided to pay
IFS old friend and tutor In COMEDY
Jack Fuquay a(visit After the 1Irs'
show. Raymond, unbemown to Bu-
NAV donned a Chfnamans wig. ana
sltpoed behind the scenes only 70 up
pear later as q waiter in capare1 pl.'
Jacks astonishment was written on
his face plainlr than II he had spoken
Il. and the line Of Chinese Nngo ies
loose by Lewis made one think he haa
6v ,accidetn gotten into the Laundry
Iack seemed to misunderstood II par
fectly, and the catch eaten can
comedy not only convulsed the au-
dience, but had the members Oh ~. I'd
company so completely be"4lueie 60
that the whole last show was one y.
the funniest iIroromptu bits ever
pulled off on the Hjpp stage WIN JuSe
q word here and there to remind one
oR the real bill. Frank Shear ana
nun Davis both insisted on being al
lowed to nay the usual thirty-threo
CENTS and Sol Burka who saw only the
latter part Of the farce bill IS ,' sosL1
Kicking himself because he mlSseu
mart Of it. Raymond returned 10
Clarksburg today. Sergeant LOUIS LOUIS
Kerxston veteran Of the Spanish Amer
lean war and the World war gave
short talk prior to the rise Of the cur
ta6n in which he told Of the a a,v5ads
tages Of Marine service, and followed
this with an exhibition OF the manual
NJ arms and the famous setting-9p
exercise. Sergeant Kerxston ana otn1
er members OF the recruiting service
left this morning for Cumberland
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-11-21

cce,n Bottom for Location"
The White Heather" Nelson is pre-
senting today, is the tirst feature III
La libera parola. [volume] (Philadelphia, Pa.) 1918-1969, 1919-08-23
FRANCISCO MAsTRlAr4l
LA CONTESSA DI MONTES
Sesuito ALA CIECA DI SORRENTO

Quel verbo al plurale indicavs
che Gaetano non era tornatC
SOLO.
= Dio, ii ringrazio! - escla-
mo Carolina. - Egii vive anco-
IA, non e vero?
~ 81, Signora, il marchese vi
We II rispose Pisani che compre-
sc il pensiero della'mica.
- Non avevo il coraggio din
terrogaIvi,. - disSe Carolina. -
Questo e uno de- piu bel giorni
della mia vita. Non Speravo di
rivedervi mai piu. Sedete, Oil
viero, sedete. Mel riveder vol,
parmi che Beatrice, la mia dilet-
Ia amica, sta un'altra volta con
me. Perdonate, Ohviero, Ia mia
commozione. Non posse frenare
lie lacrime.
La giovane ruppe a piangere
e a singhiozZare.
Gaetano era coSi conmoSSo
che non poteva articolar paola.
La libera parola. [volume] (Philadelphia, Pa.) 1918-1969, 1919-08-23

gliavano. Bensi, in que primi
giorni del suo arrivo a Sorrento,
egli non fece altro che piange-
re-