davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
She Never Chirped Again

My wife came home the other night and told me a good one that was pulled down in the Shirt Waist Shop" said Sam Friedman. Tt seems that one of the pretty girls halls from Atlanta and when trade is dull amuses the other salesla- dies with the many excel1encies of the Gate City. Sfe is willing to admit that Birmingham is good town, but then it is not Atlanta It seems that at last her boasting and boasting got on the nerves of one of the young men who hap pened in, and he made up his mind to hand her one, and l think he did it. Here is the way he got at her:
 Minnie, said he, you are a good look er and you have swell eyes, why don't you go down to a meeting of the Chamber of Commerce and vamp some of our lead ing citizens and get them to use their in- fluence with the city commission and may be they can get the owners of the Jef ferson County building in which you work to have the 10 top stories cut off and then Atlanta might be able to get a lit tie sunshine. Since then Minnie hasn't chirped about her home town near the Chattahoochie.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
LIKE M,LukE SAYS

After you have roamed around for a while you will discover that the big gest floppers are the people who brag n ost about their consistency.
 The difference between opportunity and a collector is that opportunity knocks but once al your door.
 A gown does not have to be cut so lo* that the reaches the waist line in order te be decollete. but you can't make some women believe it.
 And a fat woman can get whole lot of exercise out of wishing that she was thin.
 When man marries girl friend he sometimes discovers that matrimony knocks the "r' out of friend.
 You may have noticed that whisky all ways smells worse on the other fellow s breath And that is what the other fellow has noticed about you.
 Another sure way to make a bum out of a young man is for him to have a mother who hates to see him work.
 Why does man get so excited over lady humans leg when he pays no at tention to the leg of lady dog or a lady horse or lady cockroach?
 For every man who has money there are 50 who haven't any who are willing to tell him how he should spend it.
 There are only two kinds of women a bachelor is afraid of-the married ones and the single ones.
 A girl wants guarantee when she gets pair of silk stockings But she isn't that particular when she gets husband NAnother sign that honeymoon is over is when he wants to occupy>e chair all by himself
 Right now the prospective June bride imagines that she won't have any harder work to do than cransing the phonograph. But she'll wake up-she'll wake up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Vast Sum of Interest
 To Be Paid June 15

THE treasury department will pay 0 interest oh first Liberty Loan Bonds June 15, totaling s36, ,658, ,376.63. Of this amount $809 ,955.12 will come to the people of the Sixth federal re- serve district, which includes Bir- mingham.
 As the publicity department, in its recent bulletin, says, "Think what it means to have this vast sum of money turned loose in one dayl It is money for which the people didn't work-a reward for their thrift"
 What will the people do with this money? is the questios which the de- partment asks. It is pointed out that if they spend the money it's work is wasted-unless they buy War Savings and Thrift Stamps. If they take that course ''their dollars will be doing double duty-interest will be making more interest,""
 The department suggests that Liberty Bond interest coupons be clipped promptly and reinvested. "Thriftless money or money which lies idle, is of no benefit to the individual or to the community. It should be put to work, where 1t can earn the most in the safest way and there is no better or safer place of employ ment for money than in War Savings and Thrift Stamps"
 It is important to remember that interest coupons may be exchanged for War Savings and Thrift Stamps at the postoffice. Should the money be needed at any time, the Stamps are redeemable on ten days notice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Boil WeeyiI Weather

T was down al Montgomery recent ly," said Tom Anderson, and having finished my business I was waiting in the lobby of the Exchange hotel for the hour for the train to leave for Bir- mingham. I saw a man with wide stetson hat come in and soon he opened about the weather. The rain had gotten on his nerve, for he had some fine fields in the river bottom. lent sympathetic ear, and expressed regret that the grass would get Els cotton. He said, Friend, it an't the grass that's bothering me, but if this downpour keeps up boil weevils vii, be big enough to require bucksnot to Kill them and out he wandered into the mist"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Randolph countr Monument

There has been great deal of talk regarding memorials to our fallen he- roes," said former state Senator John W. Overton Of Wedowee, who was in Birmingham yesterday. "but I believe Randolph county is the first to take definite action.
 We are going to build a monument in Wedowee which will cost between s1o.OoO and s15o0O. and more than $1O,- 900 of the amount has already been raised. We put on a campaign in Ran dolph and the various sections of the county were assigned certain quotas Just as in the war drives. The response was fine and we expect to be the first county to pay this tribute to our own boys.
 Next Saturday we are to have a great celebration in Wedowee, at which we expect not less than 5000 people, Our hearts have been in thorough sympathy with the movement to thus memorialize our heroes and the entire county has shown its interest by it's ac- tions"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
\ Long Ride

Ihe Rotary party going to the inter- national convention at Salt Lake City will have some ride.'' said Col. James R McGregor, the genial district passeneer agent of the St. l.. and S. F. R. R "for the first lap to Kansas City is 7s5 miles and the jump from there to Pueblo is ,22 miles. The run up to Denver and hacl, will kill 23S more miles, and from puehlo to Salt Lake is step of 626 miles. Alto gether the mileage being 2221. Birmng- ham will send out three special coaches to be hltched on to the Scenic Spec;al from Kansas City which will pass through the most picturesque parts of the trip py daylight as it will run on it's own time. The trip will take five days on account of the entertainment along the route and the day in Denver"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
TWENTY YEARS AGO IN THE AGE-HERALD
 Events recorded June 6, 1899.

Gen. Joe Wheeler has been offered com has been organized, but has declined it., preferring to be mustered out if he can not get command in active service Gen. eral Wheeler wishes to go to the Philip pines.
 The funeral of Jacob Strauss, who died Saturday, was held yesterday at Vienna, the whole population of the city doing honor to the famous composer. The body vas inferred between the graves of Schu- tert and Brahms.
 The second pitched battle between dyn- amiters of the Union Pacific express train and sheriff's posse was fought 40 miles north of Casper. Wyo. The first battle oc- cured Sunday. Authorities are deter mined to round up the notorious "Hole-in- the Wau bandits.
 David Bremmer Henderson is certain to be elected the next speaker of the House of Representatives. New York decides to support him and clinches his election
 A Paris dispatch states that the at tack on President Loubet by mob at the Antenil races was royalist plot It is asserted that the Duke of Orleans has been in Paris since Saturday,
 Gen. Maximo Gomez. former com mander- intchief of the Cuban army, is sues his farewell manifesto today. urging harmony between Cubans and Americans
 Commencement exercises are held at the Birmingham seminary and the East Lake Antheneum. Commencement at Howard college will begin tomorrow.
 Miss Daisy Rowley makes her debut as a playwright and composer, Her opera. Terra Sortis'' was presented to a large audience at O'Brien's opera house last night for the benefit of St. Vincent s hospital The theatre Was filled tp it's capacity and the performance was a brill liant success.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06

further public good through music. In accepting the presidency he said Music has a tremendous influence for good. l demonstrated its value when I established bands in the mills and shipyards of the Bethlehem com pany. A successful civilization is one in which the love of music and the arts have been cultivated Such a people need not fear bolshevism."
 < < #
 You would think it would be com parativeiy easy matter for an expert de- tective to run down an anarchist. but Reds" are getting to be more elusive than bank robbers.
 The picture a correspondent draws of Angeles dirty and unshayed, cantering along on half starved horse should con vince the skeptical that Gen. Felipe is a 100 per cent patriot.
 Over 5000 people were killed in re- cent earthquake in Java and it is proo- able that not one of them ever had the pleasure of reading President Wilson's fourteen points.
 American doughboys in the army of oc- cupation are being entertained by an army circus which may reconcile them to doing without girl-and music shows
 < + #
 Premier Orlando doesn't pay much at tention to discussion of the German peace terms. but when Austria is mentioned he immediately bricks up his ears.
 # f +
 An Alabama officer counted the 1a2 Ger mans captured by Sergeant York Alaba- ma soldiers had hand in nearly all the large proceedings of the war.
 Sporting editors say Jess Willard has never hit man with all his strength. Mr., Dempsey is in honor bound to make Mir Willard extend himself
 * < #
 The Austrians explain that they are free from the Hapsburgs but they must acknowledge that it was no easy matter to bring about the divorce * # +
 Although poet said, Stone walls do not prison make, nor iron bars a cage,' we still think jail is the best place for bolsheviki
 Someone should inform our anarchists that it won't be as easy to overturn the American government as it was to upset the Czar.
 Only 20 years ago statesmen at The Hague deliberated on ways and means to make war less horrible in the future. < # # It is rumored that Lady Diana Manners will go into the movies My word. What is the British aristocracy coming to?
 # # <
 Congress has finished with votes for women'' It is now up to the state legis- latures to wrestle with the problem. # # x A picnic poster was mistaken for bomb clue in Ohio. Is the na tion get. ting a case of nerves" < x * Admiral-General Kochak seems to fight with equal facility on land and sea.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
ADMIRAL SIMS' PIE TEST

From the New York Evening Post
 All the world this half at any rate. knows that the British sense of humor IS not-let us say-the same a S Ameri- can. Rear Admiral William S. Sims. fresh from two years of service over seas, told the following story, which he used as a test on many English audIences-with the same lack of re- suit:
 The travelling salesman in the pia belt of New England forced to eat dlnner in small town, sat down at the tanie The waiter approached and sug- gested the following menu: Roast beef stew or baked beans, and for desert choice of pumpkin pie, raspberry pie and apple pie
 will have roast beef stew and baked beens and pumpkin pie. and raspnerry pie" said the salesman.
 There's nothing the matter with the apple pie, is there?" asked tha waiter.
 Now said Admiral Sims to one of the Englishmen present, "Iu bet vol, can't tell me what was the matter with that apple pie"
 "rll be blamed if I can." said the Englishnian
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
VICTORY FOR OLIVER TWIST

Uncle Dudley in the Boston Globe.
 Charles Dickens has won a complete victory in his long struggle against Bea- become fair to the wretched children into whom Dickens breathed the breath of life in his story of Oliver Twist Hereafter no healthy child more than three years old is to be an inmate of a workhouse. All dependent children are to be placed in families or in cottage colonies where the surroundings will give them decent chance.
 If Dickens were alive today, reformers all over the world would be inviting him the victory has been won too late. He has been dead half century. It is Sl years since hungry, abused little Oliver was first summoned by his creator to tell his tragic story on the witness stand in the interest of friendless and dependent little creatures like himself The defense never produced so much as brief. Three generations in England and America have cried over the book. Yet the wrong 1t exposed has endured until now
 The real wonder is not that the justice, which was the only possible answer to the story of the workhouse children, has been so tardy. but that it came so soon. For the road that leads to any worth while reform is the longest road in the world.
 Those who set their feet on it must not expect to reach the goal they seek. Like the leader, of the Exodus from Egypt. they must be content to lie in graves in the wilderness. If the pioneers leave be- hind them group thrilled with the vision which first called them to the journey. they will have done theiI part.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
~N v v Business Women Will Meet Tn Birmingham

1QlRMINGHAM will extend cor <0 dial welcome to the Alabama Federation of Business Women's clubs which will hold it's first meeting at the Tutwiler, June 10 and II.
 A plan is under way to federate all the business women's clubs in Amer ica. A convention will be held in St. Louis next month for this purpose and 1t is probable that Alabama will be represented by delegation. A pamphlet issued from Atlanta, the southern headquarters of the organiz- ing committee, states that there are "11, 100000 women now engaged in gainful occupations in this country" The war greatly augmented the num- Der of women workers, but they have for many years played conspicuous part in the nations business and ,em. mercial life
 A national organization will provide a means for standardizing work for women, for obtaining better living and working conditions and for help ing younger women to make their way iii the world. It is laudable under < taking, based on common sense and should prove of benefit to employers as well as employees.
 : The sessions to be held in Birming- ham next week will be interesting and Instructive. The Age-Herald feels sure sthat the business women of Alabama will be given the hearty cooperation ~of business men and of all others vho realize the importance of the move ement and appreciate the exceptionally thigh standard of business and pro- Sfessional women in America.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06

UNAPPRECIATED THINGS. Down in the lonesome country. Where nights are ages long, We hats to hear the bull frog, Whose heart is full of song.
 Youngstown Telegram Down in the lonesome country. Where time is hard to kill, There nothing so distressing As the mournful whippoorwill.
 Canton Daily News. Down in the lonesome country. The skeeter with his bill Is worse than any bullfrog, Or any whippoorwill.
 Houston Post. Down il the lonesome country, In the land where I was born, The bullfrog's lay is drowned, they say,
 By the honk of the auto horn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Strange Sights

T came in from Little Rock. Ark where have been for the past six months said Rev. Moses Butts. a su perannuated Methodist preacher in his sard year. who lives at Childersblrr but it is no such city as Birmingham may be little old to travel around hut get pleasure out of it. I accidentally learned that the widow of my brother Willis Butt. was on visit to the city and got chance to run out and see her I enjoyed talking of old times and then I got to see the beautiful Mountain Tar race district with it's lovely homes. | saw the golf links They were pointed out to me or wouldn't have known what the great stretches of grass were used for. Town ball was the game when was growing up. Later came baseball. and football"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
sErroneous Report
 Of German Defeat

se7TSHE psychology of the Hun con-
 4 tinues to engage the attention of observers in America and abroad. It Eholds the secret of what is the mat ter with Germany and the explana- stion of the causes which brought about the world war.
 The mind of the Hun still functions in the old channels, as evidenced by reports from Coblenz that Germans there are growing more insolent and 2 do not feel that they are conquered speople, but that they are negotiating on equal terms with the allies. This was the attitude taken by Brockdocf- Rantzau at the Versailles conference. { doubtless for ulterior motives. What ever else the count may be, he is at ] least a man of intelligence and he knows as well as the war lords know that Germany was beaten, that she is not in position to dictate terms to { her conquerors.
 Yet, there are doubtless millions of Germans who still believe that the Ger man armies were never defeated in battle. Any other people on the face of the earth would have faced the facts long ago, but not the Germans Wheth- or the treaty is signed or not, the painful truth will soon be forced upon them, with what result to themselves and the allies remains to be seen.
 However. such eminent authorities
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
WANTED, A BLoCkY MATE

From the Spencer Ga.) Reporter.
 Wanted-I would like to get in touch with a middle-aged woman, blocky made. with either black, auburn or brown hair, who is lonesome and who would look favorably upon an indus trious man. I want a woman of medium size who is industrious, who is not afraid to work a little, and who knows how to save money Address Samuel J. Thompkins.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
l F

By Rudyard Kipling II you eau Keep your head when all about Are loving theirs and blaming if on you. 1T you can trust yourself when all men
 doubt you, But make allowance for their doubt;ng
 too; If you can wait and not be tired hv
 waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in nes Or being hated don't give way to hatinp And yet don't look too good, nor talk
 too wise; If you can dream--and not make dreams
 your master; lfyou can think-and not make thoughts
 your aim. If you can meet with triumph and disas- And treat those two imposters inst the
 same, If you can bear to hear the truth vo,,,re
 spoken >~ Twisted by knaves to make a trap for
 fools Or watch the things you gave your lifa And stoop and build 'em up with worn
 out tools; If you can make one heap of all your
  And risk it on one turn of nitcb-ana-
 toss And lose. and start again at your be-
 ginnings And never breathe word about your
 loss. If you can force your heart and nerve
 sinew To serve their turn long after they are
 gone. And so hold on when there is nothing in
 you
 Except the will which says to them.
 Hold on,'' If yon can talk to crowds and keep your
 virtue, Or walk with kings-nor lose the com
 mon touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt
 you, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds worth of distance
 run. Teurs is the earth and everything that's
 in 1t, And-which is more you'n be a man.
 my son
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Motor Trucks Free To
 States For Road Work

1.-THE Secretary of Agriculture,
 9 through the bureau of public roads, is about to distribute more than fortyfive million dollars worth of motor trucks to the state highway commissions to be used in good road construction.
 These trucks have been declared surplus by the war department and are being distributed under the provi- |sions of section of the postoffice ap- propriation act. There are twenty thousand of them and large per cent will be available for Alabama.
 They must be used by the states on highways built in whole or in part by federal aid, for which two hundred million dollars, in addition to the former appropriation, was given to the states under the bill.
 No trucks will be distributed to counties or individuals to the constituted highway department or commission of the states; and all that the states must do to acquire the use of the trucks, which range in capacity from two to five tons, is pay the load ing and freight charges. Of the twenty thousand motor trucks to be acquired practically free eleven thousand are new and the nine thousand that have been used are in serviceable condition.
 This offer on the part of the gov ernment will greatly stimulate road building throughout the country. Ala bama will surely feel the benefit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06

BEGINNING THE DAY-God, in faith l look up. l can do no other. The past weighs on me with its burden of sin. The present is here with it's weakness, its proneness to err. The future beckOns, with its battles, its hidden snares, its heavy load, it's cries of need. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
ONES ENOUGH

From the Chicago News.
 Tearooms, it is said will replace bar rooms, but enc fancies that the man who threatens to buy his friend another cup of tea will come in for little imme- diate malevolence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
THE BARoN's BREEzIER

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 German publishers ask $250,00O for the foreign rights on a book by Won Tirpitz. But those that like that sort of German literature will probably be contented to continue to read Munchausen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Regrets

T ran down to the Howard college con- mencement and to attend the meernx. of the board of trustees,' said Rev. I V. Milford. of Fayette T greatly enioyed the exercises. but am sorry that so far no announcement can be made as to who will lead the great Baptist institution next year The board expressed sincere regret over the refusal of Dr. W J. Nc Glothlin to come to Birmingham to accent the secretaryship of the education board to which he had been elected by the Sol. thern Baptist convention There is a great demand for big men just at pres ent."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06

SOOTHING REFLECTION. Rather shocking bathing suit that beauty has on."
 'Er-yes.'
 Don't you suppose a still, small vol ,e ever reproaches her for being immodest?' NO. The only still, small voice she pays any attention to is one that whis- pers, My girl, you have stunning fig ure'"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE MATERIALfST.

THE MATERIALfST. Let poets sing
 The bosky dell Where perfumes sweet And shadows dwell His soul for no
 Such vista pants; He merely thinks
 Of bugs and ants.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
p..K1leM4Aant<l

P. S.-I got a peep into the dog house where proud SpHz mother was watching tenderly over three fluffy Wolley.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
SAFE.

T gave up cocktails and rouge just to please him. sobbed the fair plaintiff, for merly of the Folies. 'Order in court" cried bailiff as sympathetic juror groaned aloud. Look here,' said the defendant to his lawyer. I'm afraid we are going to lose this case"
 Don't worry" answered the lawyer The fellow who groaned is man about town. The other jurors are old-fashioned men,"
 PATTI COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-06
Schwab's Practical
 Interest In Music

1Gs HE progress of music of high
 S order in this country is due in large measure to the generous back ing which symphony orchestras and other concert organizations receive from men of wealth and affairs. Colonel Higginson, Andrew Carnegie, Otto H. Kahn, the Pulitzers, H. H. Flagler and H. c. Prick have given their money freely for the purpose of raising the standard of music, but in recent years no individual has done so much, perhaps, as Charles M Sehwab. As the active promoter of the Bach festival at Bethlehem, Pa, he has accomplished wonderful thing for religious art. Nowhere in the United States, or in Europe, as for that matter, will Bach's Passion music or his Minor mass be heard so nobly rendered year after year as at Bethlehem.
 MT Schwab has just been chosen president of the Music Service League |of America, new organization to