The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-06
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

you found at your plate as sassy ; programme as ever was gotten out tt mislead jolly bunch of banqueteers.
 
 There was some class to it. It wa! printed on deckle-edsed paper and or the cover was a significant announce minute Men. Firedr' Now. that oueh to have jared even the hardest of tht government spellbinders. ! have always liked fellow who had | the courage to face, facts and who I never camouNages to save his face I have such a friend. He is news paper man. For years he has held down desk on one of the big daiIes and then suddenly appeared at the clut 1obless One of the boys. wishing tc | make it easy for him. said: What made you quit?" As quick as a flash he replied: Where did you get that stuff? I was fired"
 Now, that is just what we four-min- ute men were up against, but there were no winners, but as a matter of fact all seemed to be rather proud that they were jobless, although there were regrets that the old rush and happy fellowship was to be thing of the past. The organization certainly was the means of bringing many fine men and charming women in a cana radie that was pleasant and helpful.
 
 l do not know who had a finger in making up the programme, but all through it could be seen the fine Ital- ian hand of Sidney lazarus, who mas been drafted by the big New York producers to see to it that the white lights are kept burning of Broadway and that their brilliance may even pen citrate out into the lesser cities and towns of America.
 A bright woman wittily' remark Id that she never knew a man to make such change in his business as .s being done by friend Sidney, the fun maker-for, said she, flor years he has been trying to make it sasy for people to find comfort in sleep and now he is going to do his best to keep them awake. Some chance, but he is a lightning change artise and will get by with it.
 On opening the programme spread across both pages at the top in bold type was the announcements: "Nhat Ynry the pleasing information that Hugh A. Locke, associate state director (weu posted on divorces, but still sinsle) would be the toastmaster The rec ord of the judge is clear, for there is no 'evidence that he has every been hailed into court on a breach of prom ise suit
 But before giving the dramatic Der sonea. I call your attention to the back page of the programme It never beat about the bush, but spoke with authority. for I read What You Will Have to Eat" was reminded of the statement of a friend rotund jour- nalist, that is what he is, but he is so modest he would fight before he would let anyone in his presence speak of him as other than half dozen banquets and I give you my word If honor there wasn't the slightest change in the menu.
 He spoke rather bitterly and resent fully of the lack of ingenuity upon the part of those who prepare the feats for the diners out on public occasions, and seemed to think that the hotels and clubs were going a bit far i'll the eats. Having suf- thetic ear and together we may yet plan revenge against the caterers who are serving cut and dried Ca la national prohibition amendment) ban quets
 Here is the one we had to eat. Do you recognize it as an old and tried one? If so do not be too hard on Fred Shireman, for Sidney at least gave it a semblance of piquancy by putting beneath he-pxescribed form of diet the name of a theatre or movie to at least call up visions of happy people who had to take their medicine in homeopathic doses:
 Oyster cocktail (Bijou). celery and olives Lyric), puree of tomato tStrand), roast turkey tprincess dress. ins) spaghetti (The Best). roast pota- toes tAloazar). hearts of lettuce (Co- loniaD, ice cream (Trianon), coffee (Rialto), petit fours (not petty four minute men. There are none).
 Now cometh the first section of ye entertainers:
 What the Four minute Organization Has done for.me." Clark Williams CT, should be funny).
 Song, If No One Ever Marries Me-, Miss Evelyn Going (rather inconsistent namel
 Why I Would Not Allow My Hus- band to Be Four-minute Man,r Mrs Kenneth Carlton (Do you know Ken neth?)
 Troublesome Speakers I Have Met R. C. Arrowood, manager of Bijcu (Get the hook).
 i'o" T oui minute speeches bOOSteQ Business" GIot air artist for moving picture theatres).
 Presentation of Certificates" T. |. state director (Shoe filter. very handy). s<
 Here beginneth the second lesson:
 Recitation. Miss Evalina Wilkerson GA reel speaker).
 ''Ts the Birmingham Railway. Light and Power Company's Gas Stronger Than Four minute Gas?" Ered Moore, (Hot stuff).