davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
She Shipped the Hogs But
Failed to Destine Them
Porkers Are Wise Animals and Get To the Right Com
mission Man After Station Agent Sends Them to
Some Other Firm.

The ways of women when they
essay business ventures are too
much for certain operator in a
ncighboring township. ditto for two
i've stock firms on the South Side
But ais we'll that ends well--and
this incident did
"She" is the wife of the owner of
one Of Nebraska's finest farms. Her
husband ships a great number of
cattle and hogs to the South Side
market. He was expecting to get
car to ship some hogs last week but
was called to Chicago on business
before the car way obtainable.
Orders Hogs Shipped.
You can, ship the hogs if you care
to, when the car is ready" were his
parting words. @
Late that afternoon the farmer-ess
received word that the car was avail
able. So she ordered the farm hands
to load the car Of hogs-and serene
ly went to bed.
The next morning she awoke
bright and early and into her head
popped a bewildering thought.
She hadn't consigned the car to
anybody
She flew to the telephone (that
handy instrument in moments like
this) and called the operator at the
village station.
To whom did you send those
hogs?' she queried in great excite
! ment.
We'll. you didn't mention any
body in particular, so l sent it to
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
When They Wooed and Won By Edward

NAL school when he enlisted for
service in the civil war. He later
attended Washington-Jefferson col
lege at Washington, Pa, where he
received his degrees. Then he went
to Mount Union college, where he
wooed and won.
Alas. IT'S Closed Book.
1t would be interesting to know
how Mr.. Webster proposed. just
what he said, but that is . closed
book, because he declares that he
has forgotten.
Those who have heard Mr.. Web
ster deliver some of his master
pieces at state historical association
gatherings, or at legal functions or
other functions, may we'll UNDER
stand that he did not want for words
with which to make himself prop
eriy understood when he was face
to face with the proposition of ask
ing young woman to marry him.
His proposal was in straightforward
terms, without circumlocution, and
the imagination will have. to supply
the text.
Mr.. Webster believes that some
day he may recall how he proposed,
and then he will tell US all about
it In the meantime we will have
to think of those side whiskers
which bristled when he said: MAY
it please the court"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Bouquet of Live Human Interest Stories About People

has filled with satisfaction to the. fire
department personnel as well a6 to
the city.
He was "all set" to go to Europe
to do relief work among the Jews
when the armistiee was signed and
changed his plans.
Hunter of Chickens.
Harry is a renowned hunter and
likes to take his shotgun and shoot
the festive prairie chickens and
ducks. He belongSto the blackberry
club and the Yellowstone Gun club.
He is member of the Omaha
Athletic club and Chamber Of Com
merce. Wrestling and boxing con-
tests also claim his attention. But
he doesn't play golf or tennis,
doesn't dance nor attend the thea
tiers or movies.
Most of his evenings are spent
either in addressing public meetings
or in reading at home. He can sit
up through the. night, absorbed in
some "dry" old report on municipal
affairs that most people would look
at only with shudder. =
Does not the wild cry of this
bright, young man ring in your ears.
girls-"I hope l won't die bach
elor." Fly to his assistance!
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
n Suggested Iy tie ME. Executed ~ US


The NJ. E. for the last three weeks
has been spouting revolving doors at
me-says there's coolies Of humor
III en-. Maybe SO, but never saw
one of those rcvolvers yet that
stirred my risibles.
4 The origin Of the idea harks back
vars and Vars, back 10 the old turn
style. Before the turnstyle came
the ordinary style. These styles i'm
posed the effort of climbing both up
and down and the effect of hoop
skirt and some pretty calves was
something marvellous. Women have
always been crazy after styles. OF
course, the style was primarily
meant to keep the cows and their
calves on the side they belonged
OIL.
In the course Of time some modest
srced maniac devised the turnstyle,
ard they've been turning ever since.
The modern adaptation, the rcvolv-
irg door, is nothing but an evolu-
ton of the turnstyle-a sort of
Daughter of the Revolution. as i
were. so to speak.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Mountain Home Of Omaha
Man Is Destroyed by Fire
Former Retreat of Joseph T. Goodman, the Author,
Fitted as Library by Col. c. G. Cunningham, Burns
and Wrecks Plan for Declining Years

Col. c. G. Cunningham, one Of
Omaha's youngest old men," re-
turned last week from Msriposa
county, California, where he spent
the last year in the former home of
Joseph T. Goodman, author The
colonel bought this secluded noun
tain home a year ago, shipped his
library of 1000 books from Omaha,
and then settled down to spend the
remainder of his years in his beau-
tiful retreat.
Two weeks ago today Mr.. Gun
ningham heard a noise in the up
stairs Of the home. and at first
thought it was the sound of cat
scratching on door, His son, Paul,
went upstairs and discovered a fire
which already was beyond control.
Explosion Wrecks Building.
In a shed. Il feet from the. house,
50 pounds of stick dynamite had
been stored, the explosive to be
used at a mine in which the Cum
ninghams were interested. Mr.. Cum
ningham had time to. gather up a
few personal effects and then run
to a place of safety. The explosion
of the dynamite was heard for five
miles. Home and contents were
completely destroyed.
Arthur Goodman, who built the
home to be away from the disquiet-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
Wanted,
The Right Girl.
Apply before it is too 1ate.-H.
B. Q.
Hurry! Hurry!

Il am fond of the ladies. There is
no doubt in my mind that they are
the superior of the two sexes. They
are the best, the most dependable,
and the strongest in character"
This is the statement of Harry
Benjamin Zimman, bachelor, city
commissioner, student of municipal
affairs, home lover and man of gen
tie disposition. sWhat do you think
of it. ladies'?
Il hope | won't die a'bachelor,'
he added. when / was in the. mood
10 get married, 4 couldn't afford it,
and now, having comfortable home
and being sort of fixed in it, | don't
th;ak of marriage so much. But |
hope will marry some time" :
Harry lives with his mother and
two brothers at 30l9 California
street.
Not Beyond Hope.
He was born in 1879 and so isn't,
by any means, beyond hope, matri-
monially, especially considering his
views regarding the ladies.
Harry has had successful career.
4 Coming toSOmaha when he was 10
wears old. he finished the grade
schools and then secured job as
grocery delivery boy in abstore at
Twelfth and Cass streets. Other
grocery stores awaited themselves of
his services subsequently, and he f.
nally became a fuH-fledged clerk for
Gladstone Brothers.
While still mere boy he went
into politics and was elected city
councilman when he mas q years
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Aching Heart Is Crying for
Harley Conant as Soulmate
Lonesome Being Of AZ Summers, Falls, Springs and
Winters, Falls in Love With Curly-haired Hotel
Man Whose Picture Appeared in The Bee Bach
elor Column. ~-

Last Sundays write-up of Harley
Conant, under the caption of "Elig-
ible Omaha Bachelors" is beginning
to bring results. One prospect has
sent her photograph and an honest
to-goodness proposal from Fremont,
Dodge county, Nebraska. She signed
her name, Ethel Lang" and in a
fervid outburst of heart-expression,
she aveis that she is fancy-free and
fair, and is frank to state that she
is AZ. Mr.. Conant is .43.
Miss Langs photograph is re-
produced herewith so that Mr.. CO.
nant's friends may know what the
future holds for him. Miss Lang is
known in Dodge county as an ac-
complished ukelele player
Mr.. Conant is manager OF the CO.
nant and Sanford hotels of this
city, and among his accomplish
ments are dancing and golf. ale is
president pf the Omaha Hotel
Mems association and member of
the executive committee of the,
Chamber of Commerce.
Outbursts OF Heart.
Miss Lang's proposal follows:
II also am lonesome being of
~ summers and as many winters,
and when l saw your picture in the
paper ! realized for the first time
in my life that there really was a
soul mate for me. | like your kindly
look, your pleasant smile, your beau
tiful hair--and just to think that it
is curly; | love curly hair.
81 am enclosing one of my photo
graphs, and | don't want you to
make up your mind hastily before
writing me. Study this likeness as
! have studied yours.
my parents are humble farmers,
just outside of the city of Fremont,
and before coming to this city ] re-
ceived an education at the Fremont
Normal school.
II am a blond, and am very fond
OF all kinds of outdoor sports. The
man who doesn't play golf is moth
ing to the world; there is some
thing lacking in his makeup. Also,
| believe a man should know how
to play poker, and would have no
objection whatever if you INDUCED
in that pastime, especially if you
are a good poker player.
can see no reason in the world
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
BY EDWARD BLACK.

John L. Webster did not wear
side whiskers in the long ago just
because he liked them, nor Ior any
sentimental or romantic reasons. He
explains that he cultivated this style
of hirsute adornment for business
reasons. He was SO youthful look
ing when he began his career as a
lawyer, that he feared he would not
be taken seriously. This picture
shows how he appeared when he
came to Omaha, at the age Of %,
with his bride, to carve his name
in the legal profession.
These Websterian whiskers, how
ever, have little or nothing to do
with how, the general wooed and
won back in Alliance, O., where he
attended Mount Union college, and
where his wife was a coed. He
was even in those days given to
sattorial suficiency. He was i'm
maculate in his personal appear
ance as he is today.
Impressed Bride-to-Be.
This Characteristic impressed the
young woman who later agreed to
become his bride. They met at the
meetings of literary societies where
Mr.. Webster contributed his share
of essays and orations, and they en-
joyed the other features of the-pro-
grams together.
Mr.. Webster's early home was
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

ing effects of town and cities, wa.
well known in California. He was
the man who gave Mark Twain his
first literary employment. In the
early days Goodman went to Viz
ginia City, New, with $40 and
bought a newspaper the next day.
agreeing to pay $1,000 when he
could. Six months later he had four
presses in operation, employed 26
printers and was making money
with the Virginia City Enterprise.
Mark Twain happened along with
the crowd and was employed by
Goodman. The famous humorist
began to write for the Enterprise
and thus he began his career.
Enjoyed Books.
The Goodman mountain home
which Mr.. Cunningham bought had
an expansive porch l40 feet long.
Il put in nearly all OF my waking
hours during the last year reading
my books, and I believe it was the
most profitable year of my life,
without considering the disastrous
fire." Mr.. Cunningham said. He ad-
ded that the entire upper floor of
the home was a study room, the
same room where Goodman spent
years at his literary work. Good
man died in San Francisco at the
age of 81 years.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

The merry go-round doorway was
invented to keep the cold air out
and the watm air in. The idea is
good, and when used in a decorous
and temperate manner we have no
fault to find with them. Where we
90 come in with the objections,
trough, is when that genus of fool
with the speed notion rotates the
aforementioned door to see how
many good / eople he~can discom6t.
Personally. I'd like to catch the
speedy boys shin bone. when his
revolutions are fastest, or else en-
cage him within and let him play
the squirrel act for three or four
hours.
Then there is also the chump who
goes to the other extreme and, in
playful mood, holds the door tight
Oh someone half way through. This
is always case for great hilarity.
One Good Turn, Etc.
We do not wish to belittle the
revolvers. We believe in doing
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Planted Beans Upside
Down, His Neighbor
Prevents Replanting

City bred and broke, James c. Ell
bert, living out on Titus avenue in
Mime Lusa, has tried gardening for
the first time in his life, and is pref
ty thoroughly convinced that so far
as growing beans is concerned,
there are . few things that he still
has to learn.
Ebert accepted the advice Of his
neighbors, spaded up the back end
of his lot and gave his garden an
early start by planting seeds soon
after the frost was out of the
ground. Among the other things
that Ebert planted we're some
beans. They are quick to sprout'
and the popularity about them is
that the planted beans are pushed
up through the ground, later drop
ping off as the leaves develop. FL
bert noticed the beans coming
through the ground and conhded
his observations to neighbor. This
neighbor, practical joker, informed
Ebert that. he had planted his beans
upside down:
The city farmer accepted the ex-
PLANTATION as gospel truth and the
following night, upon returning from
work downtown. put in the most of
the evening pulling up his beans,
and replanting them with the up
per end down. He would have so
replanted his entire, patch if other
neighbors had not happened along
and convinced him that in coming
through the ground apparently
wrong end up, nature knew much
more than he in the matter of
growing beans,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Telegram Is Forged
lust to Make Child
Happy on Birthday

A Bee reporter walked right into
conspirators' meeting one day re-
Gently and was an eye witness to
the forging of telegram and sigma
ture purporting to be from one of
Onaha's leading business men!
But no charges will be brought
and no arrests will follow-when the
truth is known.
1t was all done to heap the cup
of happiness for one child's birthday.
Her father was out of town on bust
ness and fearing that he was apt to
forget the cf1ild's birthday the
mother made an early trip to his
office that morning to enlist the
support of office associates in con-
cocting a birthday message.
A yellow telegraph blank was OBJ
tanned with all the hieroglyphic let
tiers and numbers, the meaning of
which no man knows, fond birth
day message typed upon it, and the
fake telegram sealed and ready for
delivery, if no other message arrived
for the little girl.
Who was it? Well, to tell might
bring establishment to one little
girl, SO we won't tell.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

old-some say he wasn't even that
old. He was reelected twice, serv-
ing nine consecutive years in the Of
flee.
Elected Acting Mayor.
When he was Is years old he was
elected acting mayor when Mayor
Frank Moores was taken sick and
he filled this high office for %
months. Following the, death of
Mayor Moores. he was mayor for
seven months. He was called the
boy mayor OF Omaha" and was, BY
many years, the youngest man who
ever held that office.
Next he entered the law Offices of
Weaver & Giller. And last spring
he was elected a city commissioner
and now holds the portfolio of fire
commissioner. position which he
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
SOME PEACE CONFERENCE
CORRESPONDENTS DO
HATE THEMSELVES
BY Fuller Bull.
Especial Dispatch by Grapevine
TaleUronh

Telegraph.)
Paris, April 10-While chatting
today with President Wilson, he
said to me, Bull, Pm going to put
this league of nations through at
any cost" Clemenceau said to ME
at lunch last Thursday, Your pres
|eidcnt is evidently set on putting
through the league of nations"
Don't you believe he can do it,
Georges?" | shot back at him.
He looked atme keenly.
Bull" he said, you are a young
man of keenest perceptions, par
bleu!
Lloyd George stopped his auto
mobile as he was passing along the
Champs Elysees yesterday and
called to me. When | came to the
side of the car, he said:
"Get in with me, Fuller, want
to ask your opinion on some knotty
problems"
What we talked about / am not
at liberty to state at this time. |
may say, however, that it had to do
with the league and ! was aston
ished at what George thinks of it.
Premier Orlando has just called
me by telephone to come to his
apartments in Hotel de Vile to give
him my opinion on the proposed
league.
The Yanks Are Coming.
tplair Tribune)
Principal Russell Yankie
goes to Missouri Valley Friday
to officiate as one of three
Judges III the Iowa state ora
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Where Pat Was.

In a small village in ireland the
mother of soldier met the village
priest, who asked her if she had had
bad news. "Sure, have" she said.
Pat has been killed"
ooh, I'm very sorry" said the
priest. did you receive word from
the war office?"
No" she said, Il received word
from himself"
The priest looked perplexed and
said. But how is that?"
Sure" she said, here is the let
ter; read it for yourself"
The letter said, Dear Mother-I
am now in the Holy Land."-San
Francisco Argonaut
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

Carefully abstain from rinsing
the mouth or splitting while at the
table
when napkins are provided they
are to be unfolded and laid on the
knees. Use the napkin to wipe the
mouth or the fingers; never as
handkerchief, or TO mop the brow"
Plain Dealer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Manners in 1866.

Some people affect to think that
nice table manners are of recent in
vention, and that our grandfathers
were unacquainted with dainty con-
duct. To show such people how
wrong they are allow US to quote
from a treasured work, Inquire
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

1t is-all push and no pull, One
must take his chances, for he who
hesitates is caught. 1t is said that
one OF our peasant population was
the inspiration for that plaintive lit
tie ditty entitled, "He walked right
in and he turned around and he
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

Within, or $500 Facts for the Peo-
pie" published in Philadelphia in
1855:
IF possible, the knife should
never be put in the mouth at all, but
if it is necessary, let, the edge be
turned outward.
"The teeth should be picked as
little as possible, and never with the
fork
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

walked right out again" When your
turn comes to dive into your rotat-
ing compartment it is no time for
etiquette. ..-.. ..
Our janitor has quite a ragbag
full of shirt ends the dizzy-doors
have accumulated for him.. He's go
ing to make a crazy guilt of EN-.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Her Excuse for. smoking.

The chief of a government office--he
was a very great man, too-informed his
particular typist that he was quite aware
that she occasionally INDUCED to her cul-
tivation of the baneful weed during office
hours.
'Oh," she murmured sweetly II only
smoke to save you embarrassment"
me! Embarrassment!'' spluttered the
great one
"Well, you see, you couldn't smoke in
my presence quite as frequently as you do
without asking my permission, could you.
unless you were aware that didn't object
to smoke ?"
And rumor says that next time the big
man asked II he might light up.-Mon-
treal Star.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

1t is also whispered about that the
type of door under discussion is the
official door adopted by the Rotary
clubs. Anyway, stand in front of
one of these doors for a couple of
-hours and see if you can see an
element of humor in them. Then
you will see what we are up against.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

the firm that your husband sends
allshis cattle to-" was the reply.
"But | didn't want to send them
to that firm /. wanted to send them
to- hog salesman" walled the fair
farmer-ess. What will do? He's
expecting them, for ! telephoned
him they were coming"
The operator had no advice to
give. He was beyond that. So she
called the hog salesman to suggest
way out of the dilemma.
you telephone the live stock
company that mistake has been
made, and the hogs belong to me-"
he advised. -
Which she did and everything
turned out all right.
Epilogue: Her husband doesn't
know the story yet.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13

tons, and we can then enjoy lii,
together.
II have not arrived at this de-.
cision hastily, as I have made
great many inquiries about you.
won't you let me hear from you
by return mail? My address is r
Z. D. 81, Fremont, Neb,
Sincerely
ETHEL LANG"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
Incandescent.
FRENCH AMY BAD.

This was the scandalous am
nomcement which appeared in
three-foot electric letters on top. of
the Auditorium last Monday night
when the French army band was
playing there.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
abramEbll$; a { z u

torical and declamatory contest
to be held there that evening.
O. .I
GOOD FELLOWS.
(Stromsburg Headlight.)
Mr.. and Mrs. Ray Fellows
and children visited Sunday
with Mr.. and Mrs. August
Johnson and family.
Mrs. Ray Fellows visited
Monday with Miss Helen John
son.
Mr.. aid Mrs. Ray Fellows
and children spent Saturday
evening With Mr.. and Mrs.
Chester Larson and little daugh-
ter.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
The Angry Janitor.

Under the title of Leaks From a
Fountain Pen" a contrib hands US
this:
The janitor stood in the court,
His features wore scowl;
Most anyone could see that he
Was mad enough to howl.
His little daughter poked her head
Outside and cHed: "Oh. dad.
The tenants all Are asking why
You're mad
He shook an angry fist at her
And cursed the world at large
You tell them this ne beloved forth
Just as l say 1t. Marge.
Explain that l have got crouch
That always is in force,
Because I am a janitor, z
OF course.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
A Thought for Today

Honest tea is the best policy for
the tea merchant.-Eugene Kelsey
Allen.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
A MODEST FLOWER.
(Bayard Transcript,)

To the Public: While 4 ap-
preciate the honor conferred on
me by the friends who nomi-
mated me at the recent caucus,
for a member of the school
board, and having refused the
nomination both at the caucus
and prior to, | take this method
of stating to the public that
owing to the fact that / have
not the time to devote to the
affairs of the school that they
deserve, that | am not a candi-
date. This announcement should
have appeared in last weeks :
Transcript, but owing to an
oversight, was omitted by the
publisher.
Very respectfully,
l.. F. Flower.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
KHAKI KOLUMN.

KHAKI kOLUMN.
tPender Times.)
Fred LaInpe received a letter
yesterday from his mother in
Germany-through Swiss or
ganization-announcing that his
brother and brother-in-law had
returned safely from the war.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
An Old-Fashioned Town.


Soms more hitching posts are
needed Farmers driving teams
into town are compelled to tie
to trees or telephone poles. We
would suggest that the council
take tn. matter up and select a
place to set up some more
I. posts.
o
The Race Is Not Always to the
>Pepful.
From a description Of the worlds
greatest men in the peace con.
ference, we resd that Clemencear
has mild, blue, sleepy eyes," Lloyd
George seems sleepy" ColoneI
House "is a gray, quiet man. only
five feet, S inches in height" Pre-
mier Orlando lis slow in speech
deliberate in manner"
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-04-13
iBlair Tribune.l

NbIdIr ITlDuHe.I
A. w. Fees, M. D. Homeopathic
physician and surgeon, Blair, Neb.
Both phones.