davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

I claimed the roof as their own dur
ing my absence. With cry of
horror 1 leaped to the other side
Of the clothes line and endeavored
to conceal myself behind an old
lady's petLicoaL or lady's old pet
ticoat or something of that nature.
Sir" Numbered a pompous gen
tleman, have you any explanation
for your surprising conduct?"
Several, / replied bTiskly from
behind my only claim on respect
ability. In the first place, l didn't
expect an audience. In the sec
ond-"
That will do, sir" broke in this
heavy person in a quarterback
voice. who. may | ask, are you?''
You may" l replied. I'm a
GOd-fearing sailor man who is do
ing the best he can to keep nice
and clean and if you'd give me a
couple OF thrift stamps | might be
able to come out from behind this
blooming barrage"
Shameless" exploded the man.
Not at all" | replied, in the
olden days it was quite customary
for young gentlemen and elderly
stout ones like yourself, for in
stance, to drop in at the best caves
with very much less on than |
have without anyone considering
their conduct in any degree irregu-
lar. In fact, the ladies of this time
were no better themselves, it being
deemed highly proper for them to
appear in some small bit of stuff
n I'd NJ dTr 2 . l., -
at all. Take the early days of the
fifteenth century B. c.
At this pont in my eloquent ad-
dress a young child took it upon
herself to swing on the clothes
line with the result that it parted
with snap and my last vestige of
protection came fluttering TO the
roof. With surprising presence of
mind, | sprang to a ladder that led
TO the water tank. swarmed up it
with the agility of a cat and low
cred myself with a gasp of despair
into the cold, cold water of the
tank. From this place of security
l gazed down on the man.
Clear the quarter deck" |
shouted. 'get aft, or, by CAD, I'll
come fldttering down there on your
flat. bald head like blooming
flood Then | said some more
things as my father before me had
said them and the man withdrew
with his women.
l emerged and sat in a borrowed
bathrobe the rest of the evening.
The next morning my clothes were
still damp. Now, that's what l call
a stupid way to spend a Saturday
night On liberty. The fat people
.nJoyed it.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
MAGNETISM and AciditV.

Is milk Of magnesia a harmless
remedy 10 take for acidity OF the
stomach? About what dose and
low often may this be taken?
II. A. F.
Answer Milk of magnesia is
dne suspension of magnesium oxid
Ia water II is an alkali and, when
taken freely or il acts also as a lax
alive. Whether the excessive lac
tic, butyric and acetic acid from
fermentation Of stagnant food resi-
dues. or an excessive secretion Of
the normal hydrochloric acid OF the
stomach. milk OF magnesia would
neutralize much of the acid and so
give temporary relief, though Of
course, it would not bring about
permanent cure The dose is a tea
spoonful. as many times a day az
desired. There is no particular
remedy, medicinal or otherwise,
suitable or "acidity" indiscriminate-
". because of the great number OF
varying conditions in which "acid
stomach" is but one symptom or
effect.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
The Case of Potash.

Looking around for something to bring
back from Europe in freighters transporting
supplies to our forces on the other side, Chair
man Hurley of the shipping board hit upon
potash from the mines in Alsace 1t is not
economical to operate ships with one-way
load. so Mr.. Hurley interested the war trade
board. The United States has been suffering
much from shortage of potash, especially in
the eastern gardening districts. because there
are few deposits in this country that can be
worked successfully in competition with those
formerly within the German domain.
No sooner than it became known that the
war trade board was planning to import pot
ash than loud protest went up from those
who have been developing in this country
limited supply from by-products and from
evaporation of alkali lakes in the west Here
was an infant industry about TO be squelched
Just as it was beginning to get on its feet ana
in position to make the United States indie
pendent of outside supplies.
The war trade board has ascertained that
European potash will not be available in time
to fertilize the soil for this years crop and
shall feel the shortage, in any event, for
another year.
In the meantime there should be some reg
ularly constituted non-paTtisan body Of men
Of special qualifications to study the whole
foreign trade question Potash is merely one
item among hundreds that are going to press
for attention from now on and more insistentIy
than ever before This is work for experts,
not for log-roIliEs and pork hunting politicians.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
CONVERTING Drink Bill Into w. S. S.

Now that the United States has been voted
dry" what IS to become of the enormous sum
spent annually for Intoxicating liquors?
So eminent authority as ex-President
Eliot of Harvard has compiled table show
Ing the amount spend each year for things
that are more or less non-essential. One of
The items is $4,000, 100000 for intoxicating
liquors.
John Barleyoorn having abdcated, though
invoIuntariIy, why not convert the nations
drink bill into war savings stamps?
National prohibition opens up a great ave-
nue for saving. If all the money spent for
liquor were used in the purchase of war saw
lngs stamps the $2,ooO,0Oo.0oO issue authorized
By congress for this year would not be enough.
It would mean $22 worth of stamps for every
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
THE SLEEP WALKER.
By Victor Redcliffe

There was a thieI in the house
If this fact Gregory Dale felt GER
ain. His identity it was not diff
:ult TO surrnise- of this also the
wealthy ex-b1nker was assured.
The man of money and position sat
reflecling in his sumptuous library,
grave. indignant, disturbed and ur-
lecided al at one ard the same
ame
This had transptred: His son.
Matter, had returned from college
apparently broken down nervous
B lie had brought with him a
:1ose student friord named Alien
siafr. 1t had been decided to send
1alter away TO recuper2te at a
Gstant health resort at the end af
wo weeks. and Blair had departed
Or his own home tie same day.
AS the welcome guest of the
Danes tbs young man had daily net
he fair daughter Of the house,
priscilla. Towards the last few
lays of his visit they had been to-
teCher most Of the time. They
tad learned to love, although no
EutGaI confession had taken place.
And now, the day after the dou-
lie departure, the father Of Walter
Fas going over some distressing
houghts. He meditated deeply.
inalIy seemed to arrive at a defin-
te conclusion, touched en- electric
ntt0n and told the servant TO in
brm his faughtsE that he wished TO
pea with her.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
]ElI Ei iA!HTqI TNR dK@
BY MILAN BRADY MD.

ma, but are frequent, and the symp-
toms sometimes do give rise to
suspicion OF appendicitis or gall
stones. However, if the doctor
Knows his patients history and the
family history he won't rush In
With the knife ono of a hundred
good reasons by the way, for hav-
ing a family doctor and sticking TO
him.
The nature Of angio-neurotic
edema lends weight to the theory
that it is due to defective function
OF the adrenal glands. These
glands pour into the blood adrenin,
which has much to do with main
| tanning normal blood pressure and
metabolism.
Or. ]. A. Codd reported in re
British Medical Journal" June Is.
1917, a case Of angio-neurotc EIDE
ma of long standing cured now for
four years by hypodermic iniec-
tons of adrenin followed by a
course of internal administration
Of adrenal gland extract
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
HQdrt, GpHOn0
: 7,!1DTODIO111cC
V i Mrs. ELIZABETH THOMPSON

boys and introduce them to each
guest? If not, what should we do?
-FOUR FRIENDS.
Yes. one OF you should SEQ that
the strangers are introduced
Dear Mrs. Thompson: My hus-
band is too sick to work. 1 work
during the day and do all the house
work. 1t seems to me that when
| support him he ought to get my
dinner at night at least. l don't
know what TO do because I get 80
tired He is well enough to smoke
cigars all day. What do you think
about It? X. Y. 4.
From my point of view 1 should
say that he ought to do the simple
things around the house to save
you. You should, however, con
suit a doctor so that you will not
overestimate his strength.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Rock Island will remember DR.. A H.
McCandless with affectionate regard. His was
a magnetic personality. 1t was easy for him
to make friends. By nature he was optimistic
and he was a consistent booster for his town
and for the various business, social and relig
ious organizations with which he was connect
ed. He had smile and CHEEKY word for
everybody. Would there were more like DR..
McCandless.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Jesse ID. Wade, Chambersburgy
Ill
(SECTIOS TWO.
Killed in Action
PRIVATES.
Frank 4. CZarhuski, Chicago.
Michael Evanko, Collinsville, Ill
Inie Machacek, Clutter, Iowa
Died of Disease.
LIEUTENANT.
Lloyd G. Williams, Elgin, Ill
Wounded Severely.
PRIVATES.
Bill BialaChofski, Depue, Iowa
Felix :. Donash, Chicago.
Charley Donovan, Waukon, Iowa.
Henry Engelbrecht Pomeroy.
Iowa,
Edward Joseph FGshback, Chiea-
go.
Thomas w Koblitz. Chicago.
George r Lilies, Ellston. Iowa
Gustave W. Robert, East st.
Louis, III.
Missing in Action.
CORPORAL.
Qaxel Leander, Oak Park, N.
PRTVATES.
Nick Braoun, Chicago.
Elmer Werner Heath, Bridgeport,
III.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
Household Hints

man, one teaspoon salt, one tea
spoon butter substitute.
The rice is washed, boiled
blanched and sailed as usual
Spread on deep pie plate that has
been brushed with butter substi-
tute. The apples are washed, pared
cut III half and put on the rice. Be
sure rice is entirely covered with
apples. Sprinkle with little salt
sugar and cinnamon, and whatever
butter substitutes is left over. Gov
er pie plate; put in hot oven. When
apples are nearly tender. remove
cover and bake until Drowned nice
~. Serve with milk. This makes
very good dessert.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Our heart is in a tu--
multi of sadness. and
life's way has been
darkened. y familiar
form has gone from
our midst that the
coming years will be
unable to replace. To
know our friend and
neighbOr. John Jones.
was TO love MIN He
was the soul Of geIer-
osIty and Kindness. ana
his sad Ieave-tukiuG
has cast a pail over the
entire community. As
a hus band and father
he was the peEsonifiCa-
tiou of all that was
good and noble. in hts
business dealings with
his fellow N len he was
the acme of honesty
and uprightness. He
has gone over the vine
clad hills of time to
await the coming OF
his loved ones on that
other shore. His life
was ideal, an inspira-
ton to better citizen
ship; and we know that
his shall be the reward
of the faithfui-a seat
on the right of the
throne, a place in glory
through all the eter-
nal aLg eS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Dear Mrs. Thompson: I have
| been going with girl friend for
some time and love her very much.
| Her father is dead and her mother
has married again. Her step-father
does not want her to go with boys.
l have talked to him, but never
said anything about this girl until
last Sunday. She had been sick
and so | asked him how she was.
He just walked away.
The girl also goes with other
boys and does not say anything to
me about il. l am not jealous over
her, but love her dearly. She has
often asked me where l was going
to live when l got married. Do you
think she loves me?
Her mother does not care IL she
goes with boys. l can go with other
girls, but l do not want to give her
UP. LONG JOHN.
The girl does not love you or she
would not go with other boys.
Probably she is too young to be in
love, since her step-father does not
want her to go with boys. Keep
her as a friend if you want to, but
unless she is in her 20's. 1t is all
right for her to go with other boys
without mentioning it TO you IN
less you and she are engaged.
Dear Mrs. Thompson: / have
been long desiring to get a type
writer since in some cases it is alb
solutely needed. Since there are so
many different kinds / don't know
which one is best. Being limited
as to means | would also like to
know which one is the cheapest
Sometimes l wish to get a second
hand typewriter in order TO save
money. Do you think this is a wise
plan? ME.
There are several excellent tyne
writer's on the market now. You
should make your choice according
to your use. Have the different com
panieS demonstrate for You and
give you prices. A second hand
machine is a very good investment
and purchased from a reliable com
pany could be depended upon for
service.
Let me caution you to buy a ma
chine with a standard keyboard
Most machines now are being made
with the standard keyboard
Dear Mrs. Thompson: We arc
four girls in grade school We are
going TO give class party, There
will be a strange girl and two
strange boys. Should one of us go
around with the strange girl ant
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

In the due course Of
Of human events Des-
tiny finally came to its
senses, and last Wed :
nesday uiEht reaCh ed
out and yanked Old
Abe smith into the I'M
known. We don't know
where he has gone,
and care ii dam site
less. so far as this
community is concern =
ed. we can spare him
W Z pleasure. lie
was a boulder uuvn
the rails OF. progress ;
he was agiu every
TiLins that stood for
the bettsrment of the
town in which he liV-
ed. He was parsimO
NOUS, low-doWn. and
foul of mouth. and It
must be a relief TO his
family to be rid of him.
He died wing a VIII
ow and eight small
children. no estate, and
an unpaid subscription
account at this Office of
seven dollars. We are
humane. we are for
giving. and just before
the undertaken screw
ed the lid down we put
in Il Seersucker suit, a
palm leaf fan, and Il
thermometer. We hope
he'll have q darn big
lot of use for EN-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

The Mexican constitution prohibits presi-
dents from holding more than one consecutive
term and Carranza says he means to respect
its provisions. However, he warns the poll
ticfans it will not be wise to be in too much
Of a hurry about looking up a successor. 9th
erwise. presumably, he may it necessary to
change the constitution.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
Menu Hint

BREAKFAST.
Stewed Apples
Boiled Hominy with Milk or Sugar
Toast Coffee
LUNCHEON.
Tomato Soup Crackers
Waldorf Salad
Bread and Peanut Butter Cocoa
DINNER.
Mashed Potatoes Brown Gravy
Roasted Spareribs
Stewed Squash Cucumber Pickles
Sweet French Rolls and Butter
Lemon Jelly with Whipped Cream
Coffee
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

The distillers may not make as high profits
manufacturing sugar from corn as they did
making whisky from the material,
but they ought to get along with a much.
smaller law department and be able to keep
out Of politics if they want to.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Many people took the food regulations quite
seriously, but very few, it is feared. have been
willing to go as far the aged Iowan who
committed suicide because physical tntrmities
prevented him from giving what he considered
an adequate return for what he ate.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Belgium's decision to keep Ypres as war
relic just as it is will meet with the approval
OF the allied nations at least Those ruins will
speak eloquently to posterity and may deter
future generations from inviting similar or
Yorse min
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
WEEeOfS8
~ eAND 80
HBe9KG8E



l wonder what Cervera thought
When, to the wide and silent sea,
That dull November morning brought
The broken feet OF Germany
Those dumb gray hunks that never knew
The glory OF hope forlorn,
Whose long dishonored banners few
Only to feel their foemen's scorn.
l wonder what Cervera thought
While unbelieving waters bore
Those craven ships that never fought
To anchor by hostile shore
Those great tail ships, alive with men
Who shamed that knighthood of the wave
Whose trust they shall not know again
Nor the high councils OF the brave.
HAROLD PULSIFER-
James Monroe. the alleged fake slayer of
Miss Josephine Mcdonald of Chicago, is, il
nothing else, a mighty welcome character to
the newspapers By his antics and confessions
he has supplied a lot OF copy OF most fan
tastic type and has been able to kick in with
u new and entirely different story for each
edition of morning and evening papers. 1t
takes live wire with lot OF imagination to
do it. He seems to have arranged all OF the
details of stories and various escapades with
the idea of putting the desired punch N It for
The reporters and readers.
When it came to choosing aliases Monroe,
it seems, was OF a most afecuOnate disposition
Two of those he is known TO have used are
James Darling and Mr.. Love
The Judge advocate general has ruled that
marriage by proxy of soldiers overseas to their
where such marriages do not contravene state
statutes. There. girls, is your chance to res
cue part of those 200 coo Yankees who are re
ported intending to remain in France.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
But Il Looks LLke Long, VAIN Wintor.

IIOptAa, MAI, OApItaIJ.
Bill BotfCrd, a Topeka Wsdower has got
through his second summer all right A bet
of $40 that he will never marry again was put
up the other night
o
Two obituaries are reproduced below, as
printed by a paper. Read them through and
see if you can guess which OF the TWO men
kept his subscription to the paper paid:
SMITH
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31
Not Saying Anything Against Luke.

(Edgerton, Wis, Eagle).
Friday seemed to be hog day, there were
several loads passed this way for Milton juno
ton, Luke Crandal being among the number.
LOGICAL CONCLUSION OF F. ".
Sir: Isn't this just like wife? Our friend
Ed. who is just recovering from quite siege
of sickness, says that when he was taken i'll
the family physician called The doctor
carefully diagnosed the and announced
to the distracted wife, who standing by
that it was brain fever.
Brain fever. Impossible!" she said
II. K.
Prohibition has gained such hold on the
people, says G. B., that he was not surprised
to hear that prominent IOwan had refused to
have his portrait painted unless it was done in
water cOlOrS.
ANOTHER ONE FOR DOC. BRADY.
Dear o. D. X: Referring to add Modern
Improvements" in Chords and Discards of last
nights issue please tell me what part of the
anatomy a mans kitchenet is, and where
located. MISS SHORTY
Mac, whose characteristics and habits are
familiar to us, dropped card from Peoria,
where he is sojourning at present. The only
message he able to write after tracing the
address
"Hic."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-01-31

Dear Mrs. Thompson: We are
four girls in grade school. We are
going 10 give class party There
will be a strange girl and two
strange boys. Should one of us go
around with the strange girl ant
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1919-05-07
Change of Fashion.

Indeed, so completely have fashions
and materials changed in a century
that the articles Included in the fol-
lowing advertisement of goods to be
sold on Fishbourne's wharf, "back Of
Mrs FishbOurne's dwelling" have
scarcely any meaning for us. Among
the numerous articles to be disposed
of were: "Tandems, isinghams, nuns,
bag and gulixall shirtings, huckabacks,
quilted hum-hums, turkettes, grassetts,
single allopeens, children's jumps and
bodice, whalebone and iron busks,
mems Newmarket caps, allibanies,
dickmansOy, cushloes, chuchlOes, cut
tanees, crimson dannadOr, chained
soosees, lemonees, byrampauts, mOree,
maffermany, saxlingham, prunellOe,
5arragons," etc.
Humhums was sort of towel made
Of coarse Indian cotton cloth; cutta-
nee kind of piece goods of silk and
cotton, also imported from India; bar
ragon is the barracan Of today, a
fabric made Of camePs hair, used wide
" in the Levant for robes and MAN.
ties; but for the most part the ar
ticles named in the advertisement
have long become obsolete.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1919-05-07
WHY He QUIT "THE ROAD"
Ex-Drumner Voices Regret for the
Disappearance of oIdtime Boni-
face and Clerk

ooh for the old-fashiOned hotel
clerk, smiling, accommodating, always
friendly, who never forgot a face,
obliging and always making fellow
feel like he was at home" said
Frank Whitsell Of Portland. Ore, &C
cording to the FL Paso Herald What
q difference between the old profess
siOnal hotel clerks of % years ago,
even up to 10 years ago, and the au-
tomato, mechanical clerks who never
try to oblige-I might call them auto
matte grodches-of the present day
behind the hotel registers. If you
ask one of them a question he or
she. nowadays, intimates that you ger
your room and meals, just exactly what
you pay for, and not a thing more,
please understand that. / was a COM
mercial traveller for a quarter CEN
fury up to six years ago, and / know.
Why, we old drummers, as they used
10 call us, felt at home in those old
hostelries of the western states, just
on account of the clerks. Say, they
were Gods noblemen, those old-timers.
They seemed TO anticipate a fellows
wants and would 90 to all sorts Of
trouble to accommodate one. The
milk of human kindness flowed in theis'
hearts. And it made business, too.
have stopped at an inferior house,
many a time, because I had been treat
ed so well by the clerk. And / can
say, too, the proprietors were much
the same way in those days. Hotels
were made homelike, not q big box
with compartments, where you are TO
be tucked away at so much per. That
was one of the reasons quit the road,
the chilly, purely mechanical hotels
of the present day"
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1919-05-07
CANNOT BE TAKEN ALIVE
GoriIIas Will Fight TO the Death, and
Are to Be Feared, Even When
MORALLY Wounded.

The most perilous job that any one
can undertake in the jungle is the cap
ture of a full-grown gorilla. 1t is said
that no gorilla has ever been captured
alive after he was full grown. He
would be a bold man who would at
tempt such feat. Gorillas fear moth
ing. Even when MORALLY wounded
they show an. agility, strength and fe-
rocity which is astonishing. A famous
traveller once stated that 1T would take
80 men to hold down a gorilla with
any degree of safety.
On the other hand, all other apes
are said to be pathetically easy to cap
ture. The usual method is for a trap
per to seat himself where he is certain
TO be observed by these creatures and
pretend to drink from q bottle OF
crude spirits. When he is sure that
he has been observed, he leaves the
bottle and goes away.
The moment his back is turned the
monkeys rush TO appease their curiOs-
ity concerning the contents of the bot
tie. They like the taste of the spirits,
and quarrel among themselves for 1t
till the bottle has been emptied. They
are soon overcome by the intOxicant,
and the trapper returns and gathers
them in.