The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-01-02
ON THE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
By ROY K. MOULTON

EQUALITY.
There is one thing that yexes,
My socks are very short,
My wifes are very long.
We hang them up
At Christmas time.
For swear words / use KS
X X Y
The short socks and the long ones
Is that equality of sexes?
The following poem, which, altho
beautiful, has something the matter
with its feet, has limped into our Of
flee:
think it is a great pity.
My darling's face can't be more lumin-
Gus;
wish this weren't such a dirty city.
l wish it weren't so bituminous.-H. L. G.
The Wrist Watch on the Rhine.
Oh, Waterbury, Ingersoll
And Waitham, Elgin-Iankces all
They are the watches on the Rhine,
In one stem winding line.
Yankeeland, no danger thine.
Firm stand thy sons to guard the Rhine.
Never minute late,
But running fine.
Marking a tyrants fate.
That Wrist-watch en- the Rhine.
"Calves Tongues inside" is a sign
noted on meat market window,
which leads G.. La NJ. to remark that
inside is where all tongues should be-
Where Is That Efficiency?
"Wilhelm Tries Suicide" says a
headline.
IF at first you don't succeed try. try
again.
Glen Buck says the kaiser isn't go
ing to everlasting bliss, but to ever
lasting blister.
Is There Doctor in the Audience?
A Mexican by the name of Herman
DEE, aged % years, died in the little
handcar house down by the depot The
man never had a doctor so nobody
knows what killed him.-San Miguel
(Cal.) Examiner.
If Mrs. Henry Allen had known be-
forehand how unfit to live in is the
governors mansion at Topeka. Mr..
Allen would not have run for governor.
Fort Scott (Kan.) Tribune.
OF all home ties, the least popular
are the ones father gets for Christmas.
Just to keep the record straight. we
would announce that Mr.. Bud Wad is
a resident of Piedmont, Kan. A
worthy contemporary OF that other i'm
mortal, Mr.. Jet Wimp.
Age Will Have Its Fling.
when she arrives at the age of
Zl- she Is 10 receive outright SZZ5,-
000.-Louisville Post.
"At Detention Home No. there
is pretty girl scarcely more than ISL
years old who is the victim of anne
sia- Chicago Herald-Exaniner.
Hartford fConn) woman has had
four husbands. all graduates of Yale.
If that quartet should get together
how it could sing 1.-THE Girl Left Be
hind Me-"
How To Become Beautiful.
Science has rung the bell. on the
beauty problem. Prof. Somebody an
nounces, in scientific journal of rare
repIte, that everybody in this here
q S. can become beautiful by fJllow-
ing his course.
He says: ITO become beautiful one
need only to eat one onion. half
cabbage, half a grated turnip and a
handful of cranberr:es each day"
Half the world has never Known
how the other half got is beauty. Now
the secret is out
AS usual. the treatment is strenu-
Gus. 1t is easy to eat an onion the
first day and the second day and per-
teenth day most persons would pre-
fer homeliness. Wading thru a half
pound of spinach every Gay is more
or less or a bore. Nobody eats SPIN
ach because he likes it. but because
TIE hostess is serving it. in order to
! become beautiful Grated turnlps are
pleasant IL one happens to be z horse
If one doesn't happen to be a horse
| 1t is different
] make the course expensive. A hand