The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1919-05-29
|RECISTRARL LED
CHAPEL TUESDAY
Normal School Budget)

Last Tuesday our new secretary ant
registrar, Mr.. C. A. Lee, appeared IL
chapel as master of ceremonies. HI
had been preparing for this event fol
some time as we happen to know but
the exact time Of his appearance hac
been postponed for one reason or an
other. He said,. by way of introduc.
ton, that, II have to appear, I have
something to give, and you've got tc
take it," Perhaps these were not the
exact words he used but they are ar
approximate equivalent.
Mr.. Lee read first "The Confessions
of Lunkhead'' which was written by
Samuel w. Foss. His second selection
was "Jane Jones" and the next was
eff I Could Be by Her" The author
of these two selections was Benjamin
| King 1t was necessary for the speak
er to respond to an "encore" which he
did by reading, eff My Wife Taught
School," This, he said, was addressed
particularly to the faculty for it's ben
eft. The readings were all humorous
and were greatly enjoyed by the
school. We print the first of these be-
low-"The Confessions of Lunk-
head"
Pm a lunkhead, an 1 know it,
'Taint no use to squirm an talk;
Pm gunnp an I'm lunkhead,
I'm lummux, I'm a gawk.
An make this Introduction
So that all you folks kin see
An understan' the natur' of
The critter tibet I be.
I allus wabble wen I walk,
My jints is out o. gear
My arms go foppin' thru the air
Jist like a elephants ear.
An wen Womern speaks to me
I stutter an grow weak,
An a big frog rises in my throat
Tibet wont let me speak.
Wal, thets the kind er thing I be,
But in our neighborhood
Lived young Joe Craig an young
Jim Stump an Hiram Underwood.
We growed like corn in the same hill
Jest like four seprate stalks,
Fer they was lunkheads jest like me
An lummuxes an gawks.
Now knowed was lunkhead,
But them fellers didn't know.
Thot they was the biggest punkins
An the purtiest in the row.
An I, ulster laff an say,
Them lunkhead chaps will see
Wen they get out into the world
What gawky things they be-
Joe Craig he was a lunkhead,
But he didn't get it thru his pate;
l guess you've all heard tell o. him.
He's governor of the state. g.,
Jim Stump he Numbered off to war.
A most uncommon gump, --s
Didn't know enough to know it.,
An come back, Genl. Stump. H. g..
Then Hiram Underwood, he went off
The biggest gawk of all,
Wy, we thot him hardly bright enough
To share in Adams fall,
But he tried the railroad biz'ness
An allus grabbed his share,
Now this gawk tibet didn't know it,
Is fifty millionaire.
Wal, often out here a hoein',
l set down a'tween the stalks,
A thinkin' how we four together
All wus lummuxes an gawks,
All wuz gumps an all wuz lunkheads,
Only they didn't know it yer see;
An I asst, "If l hadn't knowed it.
Whar in natur' would I be-"
Fer I stayed to home an rastled
In the cornfeld like chump;
Cause l knowed I was lunkhead
A lummux an a gump;
But if I hadn't knowed it
Like them other fellers there,
Today might be settin'
In the Presidential Chair.
You're all lunkheads- don't git mad,
But us pore chaps who knows we be,
We walk in tumble walks.
So, I say to all good lunkheads,
Keep your own sells in the dark,
Don't own or .reckernize the fact,
An you will make your mark.