Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1919-03-14
THE DEACON S PEW
Bv = MAcDoa

Tha little frontier tawu Oa SAnuers
ncn possessed several saloons and
gambling houses, two churches, tele.
graph once, but no newspaper. There
10re. when Gen. Gorgon Shorter, late
OF tho Confederate army, arrived on
the scene and announced his inten-
don OF starting 3 daily journal every
oae was pleased But when the gem
eral visited Deacon Lamb, one Of
Sanderson's most prominent citizens.
With i view to renting q suitable
building d which to house Ghe Sand
eracn Daily Trumpet, the deacon de-
cIined to lease without receiving =
quarters rent In advance.
ssEirrr-rs' Numbered the redoubs-
able shorter. 'yon insult me- Pay in
advance, indeed never, Sir. never
The deacon, one of the mildest-
hammered og men, felt embarrassed
ana stammered out for he had an
impediment Of speech: N,n-n-no Of
tense. / ho-ho-hope, g-gensral {?
But General Snorter's dignity was
affronted and the initial number Of
the Trumpet contained scorching
article devoted to the deacon, and
scarcely day passed without the
good man being In some manner
vituperated III the columns OF Sand
erson's only paper. Now Deacon
Lamb, . leading member Of the
church, vas much respected BY his
fellow citizens none Of whom ap-
proved or the Trumpet's attacks.
Yet nobody dared to demonstrate
with the editor General Shorter was
known to be the only survivor of four
brothers. who had al died with their
boots on leaving bloody records be.
hind then; and if report spoke truly
the controller Of the Trumpet's edi-
torial destinfes had slain several per-
sonaI friends during 3 somewhat linz
tied residence In Texas. Yet the
deacon preserved an unrufled calm
under Ore. Even when Elder Durham.
fearful lest the truculent Shorter
might proceed from verbal to physical
violence. urged his brother church
man to try to placafe the exterior
of the Lone Star State the deacon
merely shook his. head and STAN
mared:
ssT-t-tl1e g-general n . c-ch-ch.child
of w-w.w-wrath, but d-d-d-do-don'e
consider him q d-dd-dad-dange rous
man.
Thus matters stood when Shorter.
Ia an editorial on q religious revival
being then conducted in the town BY
q couple Of travelling evangelists,
seized the opportunity to emit the
following Yindictive blast;
eve know Of no one in greater
need Of the sacred ministrations Of
these good men than that precious
old sconndreI Deacon Lamb. Even
forty.rod whisky won't revive him.
He has tried that for the past thirty
years. III the liquor he has swallowed
during that period could be poured
into one vast tank II would form q
lake sufficiently large to drown the
entire congregation. the members Of
which have for decade been delud-
ed, cheated and gulled BY this toddy.
soaked and loathsome old hypocrite.
At about eleven o'clock of the day
on which this article appeared Dear
con Lamb entered the editorial sane
tum Of the Trumpet and approached
Snorters desk. The general looked
up, with a savage scowl.
wen, sir-rsr-r,s he growled herce.
ID. what can do for you Z"
'N-n-n-n-no-not much, g-g-ggeneral
/ m-m-m-merely w.w-wished
Come, come, make II short, make
Ii short, / can't cit here All day
listening to your internal suffering.
Eyes, g-g-g-general. III MN m-make
it as s-s-s-s-short as p-p-p possible.
Taking the morning issue Of the
Trumpet from his pocket he pointed
to the obnoxious article and asked the
general II he wrote Il.
"Of course wrote It. What Of y.
sirg''
An instant later the deacon
gripped the general by the back Of
his neck and, producing stout raw
hide whip, proceeded to lash the as.
tonished warrior with tremendous
yiaor. Shorter struggled and yelled
for mercy ia vain The deacon held
him III grasp of iron until he had
finished his exercise. Then he hurled
his victim into corner. remarking:
II h-h-h-have m-m-m-made 4 as
s-s-s-short as p-p-ppossihle. g-g-g-gen-
eral. b-b-bbut when you are n1-m-m.
more at l-l-lIeisure s-s-s-shall be
h-h-h-happy to renew t-t-t.this Gee.
experimentation.
The news spread quickly through
sanderson and the deacon's friends
begged him not TO venture upon the
street unarmed, a. It was freely pre-
dicted that the ferocious Shorter
would not rest until be had executed
dire vengeance upon his castigat0r
But the deacon refused To cucumber