Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1919-04-03
13ie
Aerial Mail
on
By LYDIA M. D. o'NEIL
Copyright

nave dlTsAipS 10 carry II mai an ex-
press, an then it's old Black Lulu to
the scrap-shop an you to Highland
Park, Surly Simmons. An I'll be sit
tin up in one O. them airships, all
dressed up in goggles an, gloves an
things, steerin' the aerial mail an
lookin' tony. Aw, say, now, SurlYl
That bolt like to clip me on the head.
Don't be so reckless, THROWN things
around like that. AS / was sayin'-"
SHUT up, you thick-head, you! You
couldn't steer a hand-car. An there
won't be no aerial mail in my time,
cub. Let 'em run all they like when
I'm under the sod-but not In my
time"
But Surly was perceptibly disturbed
by the idle banter to which he was be-
ing subjected to daily. "Old Black
Lulu" officially known as Engine 1448,
was his darling. He abhorred electric
locomotives, automobiles, gasoline.
launches, airships-anything and ev-
erything that was not run by steam
power.
"Old Black Lulu" was good enough
for him, he said. "Old Black Lulu
and the drag" of express and mail
cars she carried were good enough for
anybody. Ut
Simmons did not know that the big
trunkline was already contemplating
the building of a few airships for the
purpose Of conveying mail and ex-
press, or his mind would have been
more troubled. 1t was rumored that
the Continental Airship company was
In the process of formation, and a con-
tinental airship line would mean more
speedy delivery of mail and express,
cheaper rates, and, therefore, consid-
cradle pecuniary loss to the railroad
company. This threatened competi-
tion must be met and defeated; so,
while Simmons growled and swore, the
railroad company planned and expert
mented.
By and by there came a young Eng
llshman from the other side of the
Atlantic, with a little money in his
pocket and a grim determination to
earn more-much more. By night he
dreamed of cogs and wheels and
screws and propellers and dynamos
and ohms; by day he worked on these
dreams and made them come true.
He didn't become famous; he want
ed to marry. But he hadn't sufficient
money, and no influential friends.
One day his dreams and his labor
came to an end. That was the day
that his small model of the Fenimore-
Stokes airship was finished, tested, and
found perfect.
Then Fate brought him into contact
with Hendricks, the recently elected
president Of the Never-Mind-What
Railroad company. Hendricks wanted
an airship, and Fenimore-Stok want
ed money. Each supplied the others
demand. Fenimore-Stokes sold his
patent outright, and went home to
Merrie England and his sweetheart.
Hendricks went his way, rejoicing
in the knowledge that he had secured
the means to combat the Continental
Airship company, which was still non
existent.
The Never-Mind-What company built
two large airships after the pattern of
the Fenimore-Stokes model, and then
FASTENED to build more, because, first
~, the Continental Airship line had be-
come a reality; and, secondly, because
Of two daring mail and express rob-
berries which occurred only four or FIVE
weeks apart and defied solution.
Five mail clerks and three express
messengers had been found dead in
their cars, with their skulls crushed.
A sixth mail clerk died without re-
gaining consciousness, and a fourth
express messenger became so hopeless
ly insane that no clew could be OBJ
tanned from his confused, incoherent
speech.
All the most valuable express pack
ages were missing, boxes broken open
and safes ~dynamited. In the mail cars
not n registered letter or parcel had
been overlooked. In both instances,
No. 3, drawn by "Old Buick Lulu"
with Surly Simmons at the throttle
was the train selected by the maraud-
ers. 1t hurt Simmons more than any
one knew, but that did not mend mat
tiers.
The N.-M.-W. company decided then
to convey express and mail by means
of the Fenimore-Stoke airships; so
they broke a bottle of wine over the
gray metal body Of the first man-made
bird and christened her the "Regis-
tered Mail" The second they named
the Chicago Express"
When he heard Of 1t, Surly Simmons
broke two bottles of wine over 'Lu-
LUIS" black nose, saying to her: "If
you amt worth two o. them 1ylng-ma-
chimes, then you can't run two miles
In four minutes"
lulu assuredly could run two miles
In four minutes; but she sighed, new
.ertheless. and her iron heart throbbed
convulsively.
The Registered Mail' made three
trial trips between her terminals-New
York and a town halfway between the
Eastern and Western coasts-safely
and speedily. On the fourth day she