davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Miss Carrie Keys, of Manchester
Luke Mcluke Says

A hog can stand pat on a pedigree But man has to have more than hat if he wants to make good.
 Some of the graduates will go to High School and forget all that they learned in Grammar School And some of them will go to College and forget all that they learned in Hign School. And some of them will go to work and forget all that they learned in College.
 The reason why a thrifty man al ways gets by is because the emergen- cies that we are prepared for are the ones that never turn up.
 You are always whining that you might be better off. But did you ever realize that you might be a whole lot worse of?
 A princess may have bony ankles md bony elbows. But she knows that she has fine figure where it loesn't show.
 After a girl has invested two per fectly good bucks in a pair of silk stockings she doesn't give a doggone now tight the skirts get.
 It has just about gotten to point where one tenth of the world doesn't are a whoop about the thirst of the other nine tenths.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Nerves

(Boston News Bureau)
 The world is going through emotonay just now very natural pathological process-that of starting to get well, Therefore it is very touehy, grumpy irritehe and nervous. It knows the climax is past, that it's status is changing, and will change yet some more; but it doesn't know how or how fast and it doesn't precisely know what it wants or "where it is at Hence the of jumy nerves
 It is obvious to countries, in classes, in commun- ites and families and persons Each is disposed to argue, and to fear lest in the new adjustment some body else will put one orer' Things are in Aux; and the self-preservaion impulse has been trans formed from national allied military expression to much split up civilian concern over a problem atical future.
 The international wranele that it involves is made manifest in Paris With the best will in the world there cannot help being much fencing there to prospective national rewards or recompense assets or liabilities and touchy nerves make it harder to compose some the difficult realignments that the map of the Old World presents The nerves of vanquished foes evident every day in genuine well feigned protestatiOns.
 The returned soldiers in every land present a plex Their absorption into civilian fe-from their point Of view that of the civilians who absorb them-is not an easily automatic process. Each will have to get newly focused to the other; and establishments imposed on those who come back from the abnormal life of the battlefield If they show restessness or dissatisfaction for while, they cannot be harshy blamed
 Classes within the community, while the after war working out of relative values of everything from labor to land is in process are quite as natur- ally apt to shoulder another, do it with newly irritable sort of class consciousness Capi- tai and labor each apt to try to make out that it is the great loser sufferer from the and the aftorwar conditions; and there many differ ent kinds of capital and labor.
 Could there be any fertile eerm-culture for Boshevsm and such noXious growths than this after war neurast henia? A host of or victims are now susceptible. They look only the price of butter or Of shoes or what-not They cannot care not to know about underlying causes, or to detect specous tallacies
 Gradually the world will work out of this con vaiescent nervousnessaS reconstruction abroad and prosperity here supplant conservation to destruction But, meanwhile the only specifics for certain symp- toms will be patience and patient educaton
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
AMERICAN NAMES MUST BE GIVEN
 TO OUR VESSELS

LOS ANGELES, July 23. - Nc more West Cajoots'' or West Kat Gans' or ships with other freak names will slide down the ways of Southern California shipyards, ac- ,ording to advices received here re- 5ently from the Shipping Board Of Washington.
 The names which have been ap- 9lied to vessels launched in this section have been the cause of con siderable humorous comment and not little derision. The shipyard protested with the result that the Shipping Board will name vessels with pure, American names"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Wrangell Falls in Love With Governor
 and Mrs. Riggs
(Wrangell Sentinel

Wr9ngell was glad to welcome Governor and the first lady of Alaska. Their coming to us was honor which we deeply appreciate; but few of us were prepared to have them walk into our heart and affections they did They such big people hat they made forget their high position ana by their friendliness and simplicity of bearing we came quickly to feel that they just home folks whose visit We enjoying immensely When the time game to they left town full of friends behind them who will always remember them with pleasure and affection and whose best wishes for their happiness and welfare will ever reach out after them
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
UNDEFEATED

The other day d man walked into an employment agency Chicago and got loD at @4 oaS' U . ti.i,, that bapnel., every day, hundreds of times a dav Yet every paper in the city carried the story
 The man. you see. uas S7 years old and had orc, hean a millionaire He could have gone to inc poorhouse lie could have applied to the Unl'e" Charities. But something within forbade
 t1 had lost money and place and the fair-weath- pr friends who go with such gifts of fortune The companions of his youth and lusty manhood had nae1ed over the Great River. Likewise, doubtless, his wife and perhaps his children He was living in a strange world
 yot Lis enirit was tndqteated; and to be unde- foated under such circumstances connoes nobility of soul It is herOism
 That is why the papers printed the story They recognized that defeat like happiness, comes from within not from wthout-that no man Is beaten rntu he cries "Enoughi' They paid tribute to bis indomitable courage. So herewith, do we.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
WANTS TO LIVE IN PENITENTIARY

There is at least one man in this country who wants to live in the penitentiary In fact, he has refused his liberty giving reason that he is getting along better in prison than he along anywhere else, and he desires to remain where he do the best
 The fellow is locked up in the New York State penentiary He is model prisoner. according tc the records and the warden the other day offered to parole him. But he wouldn't have it: he has two years more 10 serve, and he refused to sign his parole when presented him. and he gave pretty good reasons for desiring continue to live where he is.
 When on the outside he said. he had to work just as hard as he has to work in the prison He has trade, and is getting along well in years. and it is lot of trouble for him make a living. His living conditions were better on the outside than the inside of the prison walls-and he had many more annoyances on the outside He is with hope without friends without money; so why should he not just well go ahead working for the State. which furnishes him his board and clothing and shelter from the elements, as to try to make q living under his direction? That is the way he
 The truth is, there lo of people in the world who can successfully compete for liy- ing They lack something. of course: but that is not the point. The point is that there many persons incapable of sef-drection, if you please.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Our Joe Miller Contest,

Glen Bartlett, caims that the oldest joke is the one about the Irishman who was sitting on a bench in a park beside a poet. Both men were silent and were enjoying the view and the sunset. At last the poet in rapture quoted the lines: And they fold their tents like the Arab and silently steal away" The Irish man sucked his pipe for a moment and said That's alright I've heard about them Arabs. They tell me them Arabs would steal anything"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
CHINESE STUDENTS
 ARE AGAINST LAPS

TOXIC, July 24-Representative of 150 Chinese students in Tokio will return home shortly to arouse nation al opinion in China against the occu- patton of Shantung by Japan, it is announced
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

They may be wilns enough to perform the ta5N pointed out to them: they may be honest enouAn' and sober But when it comes to directing their own energies, and then eisbW+ing the reward TOT 'ng'
 t ,ro,. ars miserable failures Maybe the New yo.l prisoner la- more sense than we give him arcdft
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
PRESENTS ITS CLAIMS

PARIS, July 23.-The Norweg- ian government bas presented a claim for reparation for the loss of vessels sunk by German submarines. The claim was referred to the AL lied commission on reparations.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
NOTICE

To Whom It May Concern. I have disposed of my interest in the In- ternational Billiard Parlor to s. D. Wallstedt and will not be responsi- ble for any debts incurred in con- noction herewith.
 PETER CARLSON. NO Smoking" signs for sale by The Empire.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

In framing the League of Nations, the President has demonstrated that he has confidence in Colonel House than in the United States Senate Baltimore American
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

hungry that she ate the spare tire off the rear of the car she was rid ing in. But what we started to say was that Iva Hunger lives in Chicago III
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
She's Elected, Dusty!

Wellington Journal and Republican,
 If the Chair please, we wish to place in nomination for the position as janitor of Luke McLulle's Club
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
The AViatorS.

The AviatOrs I would call
 This ball team" said old Wise I'd call them this because they al Seem to go out on flies"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

" Polish Premier Paderewski Proposes Probe of Pogrom Charges says headline. Which is the most alterative since Peter Piper Picked a Peck Of Pickled Peppers.-(Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

After it's all Germany might start a prize contest to determine what the greatest mistake made by them during the war Indianapolis News
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

Gustav Stresemann, leader of the National Liberal party to Germany, says the Kaiser's aim was peace. He was bad shot- Detroit Free Press)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
The By-Play Ministrels.

Good evening, MT. Bones. How are you feeling this evening""
 "Very dry Mister Interloeutor.
 And have you anything for us this evening MT. Bones?"
 "Yes, sah, Mister Interlocutor. Car you tell me why the Kaiser's head is like Saturday night?"
 Because it is the weekend"
 While the Prohibition sleuths art frisking the audience for booze, hair tonic, witch hazel and lemon extract MT. o. Howe Rottyn will render that pathetic ballad: The Sun Shone Through the Waving Trees, And Alse Shone Through Mary's Knees"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Names Is Names.

Willie Cry is a millionaire Indian living in Ponca City, Okla.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Huh

After swatting flies for a half hour we gave up in disgust. They can make 'em faster than you can kill 'em
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Oh, Boy!

Luke McLuke. you're an awful cuss, You keep us Corn Feds in a fuss You knock our ankles, you knock
 our knees, And that's not all you knock if you
 please, But, itake it from me, philosopher
 bright, When we put on our sec-mOres and
 get in the light, You can bet we are not ashamed of
 the sight.
 Nashville Corn Fed.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

The people who make fools of themselves are not governed by the law of supply and demand
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

Alaska should profit greatly as the result of the many tourists now visiting within her confines. They are mostly good boosters
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

Them Hobble Skirts. Some look sweet, and Some look slobby; Some look neat, and Some look knobby.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

Those many resolutions, promises and pledges to never again trade with Germany "so help me Mike arc in the same class as New Years resolutions.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

The worst thing about failure is that there are SO many people eager to tell you how you might have succeeded
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

You never tell. Many man has been lion ized, only to make ass of himself.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Our Daily Special,

You don't have to stay loaded |; be a big gun.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

If you going to kick about man do if to his face. Don't kick behind his back
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

The sshortage of ice doesn't affect the crematory but it's different with the ice cream-atory.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Thinqs to Worry About.

Scientists tell us that the Great Dpper will be rusted out inside of 196000 years
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Advice

If you'd grow great like other men, Down at the bottom you will start Acquire the art of work, and then You can turn out work of art.
 Luke McLuke
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Then 1t Happened.

Then 1t Happened. q wonder if you cOuld?" unused the rummy, as he showed aside his glass of pop, and gaZed sadly into the mirror.
 You wonder if you could what" demanded the barkeep, as he grabbed bottle of Nearo. "Why, I wonder if you could say that a musical director is a leading citizen?" replied the rummy, as he headed for the door.
 Another tlick.
 I'll soon be aslaping
 Oswald Boo.
 If he keeps saying;
 Quite a few"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
QUAKER QUPS

Philadelphia Record.l Prohibition work almost as effectively as keep-otf-the grass sign.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Oh l!

"The herrying season comes after planting time, doesn't it?" asked the Old Fogy, as he looked up from his newspaper.
 That depends upon whether you are a farmer or an undertaken" re piled the Crouch,
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

Some women fond of harmony that they Will even become green with envy if green is becom- ing them.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
Gosh

Jack Auer tells us that he once heard of chorus girl who was so
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLukC
 -:-- Copyright by Cincinnati
 Enquirer
Say Not.

Say Not. Good old St. George I would not pan No knocking grouch am l; But he was not the only man To see a dragon fly
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-07-24

If you'd grow great like other men, (Make note of what I telD
 Down at the bottom you must start Unless you dig a well. Hastings (Ncb) Tribune
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1919-11-05
STANDARD STEEL Can COMPANY
General FndB Phnbu Pa
New York; fie:1 Broadwa
Works. tier Pa NevC Castle Ind
J M
642 Munscy Building, Washington, D. G.
October 81, 1919.
utIer, Pa; New Castle, Pa; Hammond, Ind.
J. M. HANSEN.
President.

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The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19
DRAINAGE SYSTEM.
Continued from Page u

the junction of High street an lS-inch
pipe line will run parallel with the street
car track, and at High street the pipe will
be nine feet under ground From there
to the Elliot street junction Pinch tile
will be used. An even grade will be
maintained for the entire distance, and
the tile viii be below other pipes.
1t is expected that the work will be
completed in about 80 working days, as
the digging will be easy after the top
dressing of tar and crushed stone has
been removed For some reasons it was
preferred to lay the main pipe on the
east side of the street, where the main
water pipes are laid, but in view of the
greatly increased since the pipe was laid
it was felt that the danger of accident to
the water pipe was too great to warrant
taking the chance. If the water pipe was
uncovered and should happen to get brok-
en- or unjointed there would be a flood on
Main street in short order.
Road Commissioner DUDE brings men
to this job from Fort Drummer Heights,
where he has been rebuilding about ] ,20o
feet Of the main highway, also improving
one Of the streets from that highway
east to the river bank and building the
foundation for sidewalks authorized at the
| recent special town meeting. He has put
in broken slate stone from an old quarry
in that section for a foundation in tbs
main road, and this win be covered with
gravel. Cement sidewalks will be built al
| the proper time
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19
OPEN DEER ZONE
YIELDS IL KILLS
Anyone Knowing of Others Is Request
ed to Report Name and Date to
County Warden Metcalf.

County Fish and Game Warden f.
II. Metcalf reports that up to date y
deer have been killed in the Westmin-
ster open zone and reported to him. If
anyone knows of a deer having been
killed in this zone since it was esttab-
lished June u, that is not included in
the following list, he will confer ia
vor by letting Mr.. Metcalf know at
once who killed the deer and when.
Successful zone deer hunters who
have reported according to law are as
follows: Richard NJ. Page of Putney,
an eightpoint buck July IA; Stanley
NJ. Fullam of Westminster, an 1l-point
buck July Is; Justin r. Holden of
Westminster West, spikehorn buck
July 10; Lloyd H. Longueil of Bellows
Falls, spikehorn buck July 10; A. II,
Lober of Westminster, doe July %;
Sidney Bailey of Putney, a doe Aug
%; Fay Hall of Westminster West, a
big doe Sept. 5; Dexter Kathan of Put.
ney, a small buck Sept. 6, Dexter
Kathan of Putney, nine-point buck
Sept. %; Stanley NJ. Fullam of West.
minister, spikehorn buck Sept. 20;
Dan Holt of Putney, big doe Oct s;
S. w. Holden of Westminster West, a
four point buck Oct. 10.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19
ANIMAL ATAVISM.
Do Not Lose the Instinct of Their
Wild Predecessors.

~ have been greatly interested in
discovering this same trace of wildness
in domestic animals that have lost the
keen instinct of their wild predecessors,
but still possess a trace of it, in spite
of centuries of repression, = writes Ar
thur F. Rice in The Cali of the Open.
"The little dog that runs swapping at
the heels of the cow seems to inspire
that comparatively huge animal with a
panic: why? The COW could kick the
dogs brains out, or toss him over the
fence with her horns. Is it not be-
cause of hereditary dread brought
down through long generations from the
the time when all horned cattle were
the prey of eoursing wolves, from which
the cur s ancestry could be readily
traced. There is little of the deer OF
the wolf left in these animals, but the
old instinct of fight and pursuit has
never been fully eradieated. The same
dog, having more food than he can eat
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19
BRATTLEBORO LOCAL.

s'i,,o plcirtitr is still putting in testi-
y5auy IN Windham county court in the
ease OF Ralph Nj. Peltier against Grace
(Barber) Peltier, in which the plain
tif seeks to have his marriage an
nulled. The witnesses this forenoon
were DR.. G. K. Aldrich and DR.. L. K.
lynch.
Jason +. Bushnell has bought of Mrs.
Ella p. Russell the Russell laundry build
ing on Elliot street, which adjoins his
store property The sale was made
through John L. Towards real estate
agency. Mrs. Russell, who occupies the
tenement upstairs, will vacate within a
month The laundry is conducted by
Hugh Agnew under lease which has sew
oral years to run.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19

still furtively buries his bone; some
times he digs it up again, but more fire.
quently he doesn t. and this habit is
probably a trace of the old precaution
which prompted his wild progenitor to
secrete part of the spoils of the chase
against the time of need. Have you ever
noticed that 4 dog often turns around
several times before lying down! and
can you not imagine that his wolfish
ancestor did this for a better reason
when he was making his bed in the
leaves
Possibly you may have observed
that, on certain windy November days,
some strange excitement suddenly seizes
the domestic fowls; they squawk and
hop and run about, extending their
wings as if about to fly. What does
this grotesque exhibition mean, and
what prompts this lame and inpotent
attempt to do something out of the or
binary? Simply the fact, | am con-
WINGED, that certain wild fowl a thou
sand years ago used to migrate about
this time of the year, and their degen-
crate descendants are suddenly touched
with spark of the same old longing.
But it is only a glimmer of inspiration
anu Tire dDoIllNcs attempt u quit the
earth and eleave the upper air leaves
them more detected than before.
The farmer 5 boy, driving his cows
from the pasture at dusk, sometimes
sees the sheep preparing to lie down for
the night. 1t is an interesting process;
the father of the flock trots around
them, driving them closer and closer To-
gether until they are a compact mass.
into which-with characteristic male
selfishness-he finally insinuates him
| self When they are all down, it will be
| noticed that those on the outside all
have their heads pointing outward, thus
| presenting a circle of watchfulness, SO
| that the approach of danger from any
quarter would be quickly discovered
But this occurs in regions where all the
large predatory animals have long been
extinct and such wariness is no longer
necessary. It seems apparent, there.
| fore, that this is another case of inherit
ed instinct. 1t would be easy to multi.
| ply instances of this sort, and | call
Your attention to them because if you
look particularly for them you will see
them yourselves. =
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1919-11-19
STILL UNCONSTITUTIONAL.
Rhode Island Barrooms Remain Open
and Do Business.

PROVIDENCE, r. l., Noy. l9.-Col.
Michael j. Lynch. attorney for the Mar
ragansett Brewing Co., in formal
statement this afternoon called atten-
ton to the fact that the United Safes
circuit court of appeals has not over
ruled Judge Brown decision declar
ing the Volstead act unconstitutional.
The circuit court of appeals, he said,
has merely stayed the enforcement of
the injunction pending a decision by
the supreme court of the United States
in SO far as Rhode Island is concerned
the Volstead act remains unconstitu-
tional. The barrooms in Rhode Island
were still open at . O'Clock this after
noon, no official announcement having
been made by United States District
Attorney Baker.