Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-11-20
CICERO LAUGHED
AT SOME OF OUR
NEWEST" JOKES
Many Admired Witticisms
Were Old When Plato
Was a Boy

1t would be difficult to state which
age saw the birth of the first joke.
No doubt, man had some sense of
humor even during his struggling
cave-dwelling days, expressed, most
likely, in ough-and-tumble Lorse-
play or in practical jokes rather than
in keen jest and witty repartee.
Very likely the first jocular utter
ance had origin in the form of criti-
cism on the personal appearance,
dress, manners or customs of others.
A sort of corrective censure, one
might say, on those who. dared to
depart from the accepted rules of the
community.
The works of the ancient Greek
and Roman authors abound in
jeSts. A great number are severely
personal, of q cutting and sneering
kind. Others are mere puns and
verbal 1ests, incapable, of course, of
being translated. But in many the
fun depends entirely on the sense
or rather nonsense-of the thing. AS
we read them the antiquity of many
of our present-day jokes is brought
to light. In spite of their age, the
humor in these classical jokes is as
keen as ever. For instance, this
quip from ancient Greece is ap-
propriate and full of meaning to all
ages.
Archelaus, asked by talllative
barber how he would like to be
shaved, replied, Elm silence"
And this, surely, we have heard
before:
Gnathene, of Athens, was offered
some rather poor wine. Wien told
that its age was sixteen years. he
dryly remarked, IT'S pretty weak for
its age.
A similar jest is related to Cicero.
When told at a banquet that the wine
he was drinking was forty-year-old
Falerian, he said; "By my faith, it
bears its age we'll"
And here is the classical form of
the woman's age joke:
Cicero, hearing the wife of n Ro-
man patrician say that she was but
thirty years old, said. mo doubt it
is true, for it is twenty years now
that I have heard you say it."
Just as good as ever is this irony
of centuries ago:
The painter Apelles. who flourish
ed in the time of Alexander, was
shown a picture by an inferior artist
who boasted of having sketched it
time. "Yes, can see that very well" o."
said Apelles, but I am surprised
that you did not make several other
pictures exactly like this in the same
time"
According to tradition. we are in
debted to this same Apelles for one
of our common phrases. The paint
err had listened with patience and
profit to a cobbler's criticism of the
sandals in a picture. But when the
cobbler began to enlarge the fields
of his criticism TO other parts of tie
Ipainting he received this rebulie
| from Apelles: Shoemaker, stick to
| your last"
In the expression, where the shoe
pinches" the ancient rendering took
this form:
There was general disapproval of
the actions of a Roman citizen who
| had divorced his chaste. rich and
beautiful wife. But" said he, point
| ing to his foot, here is a shoe, well
made and brand new; no one but
myself knows where it pinches."
In the days gone by. as at present,
tie doctors were made the target of
| the TESTERS filings. Pausanias, the
| physician how'it was that he was
never ill, exultingly replied: Because
never consult you"
! At another time Pausanias said
that the best physician was the one
who dispatched his patients with the
least possible suffering.
Pausianias, strongly approved Of
a certain physician and his methods
and berating him in no mild terms,
was asked by friend how, as he had
never consulted that particular doc
tor, could he be sure of his state
ments Poucapioc o,,S1,a,od s.vXr,,