Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-04-08
ROI-SHE.YEEE!

BOL-SHE-VEEK!
| Government requests that all citizens de-
sist from the of nicknames, such as "Wop"
| or Mickey" "Dago," Guinea" and so forth
Recent Associated Press dispatch.
mustn't call you Milky" and you mustn't call
"Wop,"
For Uncle Sammy says it's wrong and hints
ought to stop;
But don't you fret there's still one name that
I'm allowed to speak,
| So when 1 disagree with you I'll call you boil
she-viki
It's a scream and it's shrek;
It's a rapid-fre response to any heresy
you squeak
You believe in votes for women?
YAH the bolsheVih do.
And shorter hours? And land reforms? They're
bolshevfstic too
| The recall" and other things like that are
dangerous to seek;
Don't tell me you believe em or IN call you
boIshevik,
A reformer is freak!
But here's name to stop him, for it's like
lightning streak.
'B- stands for bolshevism and the reason that
Is because the boIshevih do some stupid. wick
ed things;
And SO it's plain your mental marches run at
left oblique,
bolshevik.
It's bingle on the beak!
mustn't call you names, so ! shall call
you bolshevik! E. V. c.
After reading an article giving the inside
story of the abdication of the former German
emperor General Won Hindenburg remarked
that it was "one-sided." Obviously, it is, when
one is given to understand that it is an inside
story"
woman at Grand Forks, n. D., claims that
she has made the discovery that by taking the
sap Of the box elder syrup be made that
tastes like honey. Well, maybe, in N. D.
B. R says we waste too much space on the
possibilities of July l. That makes it unani-
nous.
The following is just little notation we
find on our desk, evidently written and placed
there by "Op" of the nearby desk for whose
typewriter we have acquired fondness:
For the love of Mike don't try to cut holes
in this new ribbon. Do your writing on this
mill something like 1t should be done-lightly
not like you find it necessary to hammer that
Olivah of yours
Nice pleasant cuss, is sop"
Writing the headings for squfbs for a column
requires especial thought Or training, but
rather the sense of approaching the suggestion
contained in the item. For instance, consider
the following news item from St. Paul, Mimi:
Mr. and Mrs. George Rugg were held up and
robbed on their way home last night by pair
of armed bandits" Doesn't it seem only nat
uraI, considering the season of the year, that
one should say something about the Riggs be-
ing cleaned?
Secrecy Declared to Be Sapping Life of
Peace Council says New York World head
line. We would be tempted to believe it were
the council membership held by the W. k. talk
alive sex.
WHO is the prominent business man of this
- ,,R6
an Elk will not agree to join unless assured
that the tips of the antlers will be heavily
padded? GLIB.
HE SHOULD HAVE HIRED THE P. P. co.
Sir: Have you heard about the thrifty indi-
vidual, who, hearing of the lack Of conscience
usually exhibited by plumbers in the matter of
charging for work DONE turned his plumbing
job over to E. E. Lamp, hoping to get away
with light bill? n. B.
Wen Leave This Problem to B. R
(Houston, Texas, POST.
Then, again, it may become necessary to
congress to define intoxication. What would
you call it, for instance? There is the soporific
daze, the nocturnal striving for the minor
chords in Kentucky Home" the affection
ate advances toward mother-in-law, the soften
ing of sibilants by combining the aspirate, as
saying Shutdown" for shutdown, and plain
spiflication, as is indicated when one is fiat
on his back reaching up for the ground
o.
Keeping up with ones studies in school is
always a difficult task, but imagine what a
truly trying task it must be in these days of
uncertainty.
Just think of teacher asking you the form
of government of Hungary, Austria, German
Austria, Ukraine, Bavaria and few dozen 9th
ers The only correct answer the pupil can
really give, it appears, would be:
Pardon me, haven't seen today's papers"
o. D. K