The Washington times., 1919-04-13

way musical comedy star-and soon
- discovered that l was a husband in
name only.
Whatever the words of the marriage
ceremony mean to most brides-they mean
nothing to pet of the footlights.
Love, honor and obey"-love me she
sometimes did, honor me she rarely did,
obey me she never did. My honeymoon
was like a grotesque dream in the world
Of Topsy-TurVy. Everything was exactly
the opposite Of what conventional society
considers the usual and proper relation of
: bride and bridegroom.
was the husband according to the law,
but nobody recognized me. was the head
Of the household, but nobody paid any at
tention to me- Ny wife looked upon me
as she would upon bangle on her arm-tO
, dangle around her when it pleased her or
to take it of and toss it aside when it did
not suit her moods or her engagements or
might be in the way.
When l took on the title Of husband L
imagined l had acquired the rights and
privileges which are commonly supposed
to go with that title. But Broadway star
recognizes none of the habits, hours or
customs of conventional society. She lives
in a little world apart, and she rules that
little world.
The picture of domestic life had paint
ed in my brain was turned completely up
side down. 1t was not for me to plan for
the eVening-my wife had her own plans.
II was useless for me to suggest where we
should dine-my wife had already made
an engagement 1t was futile for me to
propose a supper party-my wife had one
on hand and perhaps was included, per
haps not.
People came to the house, but they never
asked to see me. The telephone rang but
always for Lillian Men took my wife out
to supper without consulting me, or inVit-
ing me, or telling me where they were go
ing, or when they would be back.
Ny wife's dog was treated with much
more consideration than / was. The dog
was often invited to go along when l was
not. Considerable interest and solicitude
were shown in the dogs meals, its daily
outing and its hours of rest. Ny pride, my
feelings and my affairs were of no such
concern.
Our home was without routine. Break
fast was a meal more hOnored in the
breach than in the observance During all
of nv life as the husband of a Broadway
idol never had breakfast with my wife,
because she breakfasted when she liked,
and she never liked to breakfast at the
same time at which she had ever break
tasted before.
The day began wrong, and it seemed to
20 wrong / worked as hard as l could
considering that / had been doing the
Broadway treadmill the night before.
Business was over about four. l did mot
60, as other business men do, to a quiet
home there to enjoy a rest from the tur-
moil of downtown.
NY wife would telephone me at what
cafe could find her. There / joined her.
And there others Joined us. This manager,
that actress, would drop in upon us. The
domestic group thus reinforced we would
move on to another restaurant. Then an
other. Raise that two or three. Then to
her show if my wife was playing, to some
other show if she wasn't.
And then more restaurants. Crowds
came TO our LaDle 10 VlSlL us. we maze
the rounds of the tables visiting others.
II was silly as a Punch and Judy perform
ance. But my wife called it Life" And
It went on until it was nearly the death of
me.
We might get to our home at two o'clock
in the morning But it was extremely i'm
probable. We were far more likely to
rumble in at the same witching hour as
milk wagons, between three and four.
But however late, the next night the
same rounds must be repeated. II not
there was danger that we might miss
something. Something OF the gossip that
is the small change and scandal that is the
big currency on Broadway.
/ spent FIVE years trying to keep up with
a Broadway star In those five years /
never saw a woman. reading book, except
at the race track. Amusement between
hours at the theatre consists in shrill sing
ing Of popular songs or in telling once
again the old story of woman's allure and
mans weakness II was sickening. But |
could not stop il unless / ran away. My
wife chided me, said l was grumpy. Was
not this Life?
Fancy with what an empty head a man
would begin the struggle to take the other
fellows money away from him, which is
modern business. A mans head aches. He
thinks in fog. His eyes are staring. His
hand Is unsteady. This is the pitiable crea-
ture who faces and tries to combat the
man downtown.
II by some miracle we were to have
Iuiet evening at home then-"Ting-a-ling
the telephone rinRs,