The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-09-13

Having settled all of the problems
that rest heavily upon the bowed back
of the universe, we chart a course in
the direction of the lighter vein. One
inconsequential matter which piques
our interest is that of the age of Bob
by Jones. the 17-year-old Atlanta
golfer. Bobby has been II for a much
longer time than is customary or
habitual We are curious to know
when-he is going to have a birthday.
The only noncumulative age is that
of the professional ball player. No
ball player is ever more than %.
z. ]. r. rebukes us for what he
CONSTITUTES as a slam" at the Socialist
party and expresses the opinion that 1t
will sweep the country in 1924. Maybe
so. But we have noticed that a po-
litical party which doesn't arrive in
twenty-five years isn't going anywhere
in particular.
Another thought jostles the old
bean. 1t concerns Mrs. Wilson, who
is away from home a great deal. 1t
is whether she is continually harassed
by the fear that she left without lock-
ing the back door. That. we are per-
suaded, is one of the fdiosyncrasies
Of her sex.
maldehyde. We take it. therefore.
that the plan to rehabilitate the Bull
Moose party, announced a time ago,
is under way.
Uncle Jim Chambers believes there
is food for thought in the announce
men that a firm of baby-carriage
manufacturers which does business
in Michigan. has quadrupled the ca
pacity of its plant. We wish neither
to monopolize the column nor to make
it wholly the reflex of our own didac-
tics. We. therefore. permit you to
write your own ticket on Uncle Jim's
entry.
Gradually, but with unerring GER
tainty. women are mastering the ele-
mental principle of politics. Miss An
ME Martin, who ran as an independent
candidate for United States senator
from Nevada the last time. is going
to be one of the Republican candi-
dates at the next election.
There are a number of elemental
principles in politics, but the most i'm
portant of these is that of hooking UP
with a political party which has a suf-
ficient number of votes to elect its.
candidates.
And so, for the benefit of the new
voters and those who are about to be-
come such. we print here the adjura-
ton of the late and much lamented
Chester Thomas, who was familiarity
known as Uncle Chef" Mr.. Thorn
as battle cry was "If you can't lick
'em. jine EN-" and 1t is not recorded
that he ever lost a fight.
Out of the limbo of memory springs
the last story they ever told on Uncle
Chet.' It relates to the attempt of
an - a
reconciliation between Uncle Chef"
and his arch and longtime personal
and political enemy, Durkin Stout
Both men were well beyond the
meridian of life. Uncle Chef" lay
on his deathbed; Durkin was feeble
and falling fast. And so it was deem
ed, by mutual friends. desirable that
they be brought together in peace and
amity before the final summons came.
A friend carried to Durkin the in
telligence that Uncle Chef" wanted to
see him before he died. But Durkin
was reluctant to go. Age had not
withered nor had time rendered stale
his infinite contempt and scorn for
his adversary. But softened speech
and pleading tongue finally won him
over. And so he laboriously climbed
the hill to Uncle Chefs" home and
was ushered into the death chamber.
Then he said to the wasted form out
lined beneath the coverlet: I'm
here. you blankety, blank. blank,
blank; what in blankety. blank. blank
do you want of me-" Uncle Chefs"
fading eyes lighted. The ghost of q
smile chased itself over his wan fea-
lures. HE knows me: he knows me-"
the dying man squeaked- And then
he turned his face to the wall and
went to meet his Maker.
The activities of Mr.. Bryan, we
gather from a perusal of the PUBLIC