Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-08-09
A Nightmare

"CoME," said the distinguished arehi;,
- tect,s"I want to show you the Office
l have planned for The Chatting Dish in the
new building
In considerable surprise we followed him.
Up a shining marble elevator shaft we shot
in a smoothly rising car, and walked down
beauteous corridor.
We found ourselves in front of a vast ma
hogany door, on which was a little bronze
plate bearing the word SOCRATES. Ihe
architect pushed a button and instantly ap~
peared a small page boy in a neat plum col
ored livery and silver buttons. On his cap
was embroidered in silver braid The Chafhng
Dish.
"Ths is the anteroom," said the genial
architect This is for callers. You will
see how tastefuly upholstered it is, COM
Portable lounge chairs, newspapers and mag
azines on the table, and plenty OF ash trays.
The boy will receive all visitors here and
take in their cards. Please also notice this
little lens concealed in the wall 1t com
municates with periscope beside your desk,
so that you can see who the visitors are
and what they look like before giving per-
mission for them to enter the sanctum. ID
serve the sign, PERFECT SILENCE!
1t was indeed a delightful chamber, and
our heart rose strangely. The walls were
paneled in dark oak; there were sporting
prints of high spirited gentlemen riding to
hounds and a bust of Don Marquis stood in
the place of honor over the mantelpiece.
We passed into an inner apartment.
"rhis is the ante -room,' said the genial
architect ''This is where your stenogra-
nher, a very beautiful damsel with golden
brown eyes and pointed finger nails, vii! deal
with correspondence and take care of the
files
"And this" he said, opening another door,
sis the sanctum itself. Please note how
carefully all details have been planned to
assist YOU in your work. Here, by the
window, commanding a fair prospect over
the city, is a comfortable leather ottoman.
1t was felt that perhaps sometimes during
the course of the day you might feel the need
of n little slumber; nothing prolonged, of
course, but just few winks. Here, in this
large crystal fountain of green glass, is
fresh ice water. 1t has been arranged with
a little automatic valve that admits bubble
of air into the cistern every three minutes.
This bubble, yelling upward through the
clear water, is very pretty sight, and
causes a pleasant gulping sound which is
refreshing in warm weather / thought that
it would be a nice little gurgle to hear in
the silence of the office.
'The walls, you see, have been decorated
with mural Dy
showing the famous humorists of history
at work, from Ecclesiastes down to Henry
Ford. Here is little pipe organ in case
YOU should require the solace of music. And
speaking of pipes, please note the rack of
corncobs beside the desk. They are kept
automatically filed with fine blend of to-
bacco by a special machine
Your desk itself will, hope, commend
itself to your taste. 1t has no pigeonholes
at all, for pgeonholes are only device for
mislaying important papers. In order to
keep your desk free from confusion have
inyenteds mechanical suction pipe which
will swing down from the ceiling every five
minutes, pick up all loose documents and
silently convey them to your secretary in
the next room, who will file them. This
little gas jet is for lighting your pipe, doing
away with the necessity for Swedish matches
Here. is an inkwell which never needs to be
filled, a typewriter that never gets out of
order, a pot of mucilage that never gets
thick. Observe the drawers of the desk.
They empty themselves automatically into
a filing chute every evening Thus there
will never be any of that congestion that
you have often deplored in your old roll
top"
''And how about the Dish itself?' we
asked bewildered. Does that write itself
automatically"