Evening journal., 1919-05-14

: pOsal an insted OF spending his life
a-lovln' peepil an a-helpin' peepil, he's
I spendin' his life a-hatln' peepil an a.
hurtin peepil. There before me wuz a
beautiful house, an beautiful grounds
an beautiful trees, an beautiful shrubs
an beautiful hosses an beautiful kows
an everything else beautiful, an
want to Whisper In yore ear, Mary Ann,
that ef they wuz offered to me with
Alfred Is disposlshun ! wuldn't give
yu an our little home down in Sand
town fer the whole dam hlzness.
But ] des!ded hit wuz my doOty as
a gest to cheer him up a BIT, so sez,
sez /, "Alferd, wen l ferst herd as how
yu had gone into the citrus froot biz
ness, kud skarsely kredlt my in
fOrmashunw lie lookt at me kinder
serprised. Mary Ann, an he sez, sez
he, "W0t do yu meen about me ago
in into the citrus froOt hlzness2'
'Why," sez /, "a-tryin TO hand the Re
publikln voters Of Wilmington sech a
lemon as Wlllyum G. Tayler as a kan
dydate fer mayer an putin his kan
pane In the hands Of sech pOlitikel
lemons as Edwcrd Gee Bradford, Ned
Davis, Ike Bowers an them uther fel-
lers. Hell's bells, man. hits enuf -
glut the lemon markit lu mite at
least have offered the voters orlnges
or grape-frootr
Mary Ann, ! wlsht yu kud a-saw
the man. He jumped up o1en the grass
an glared at me an sed: You're in
sultln' sir. insultln'W / seq, SEE J.,
I'm sorry, Alferd-lm sorry He
sez. sez ne, "Hlts too late to be sor-
ry."
Then he termed 10 a feller hoo
wuz standln' in The meddcr an yells !:
"Go an git Mister Jones' karridge." ."
I sez, sez l. 81 kun in Walkers hack "
He sez. sez he, walker ought to be
ashamed Of hlssclf fer brlngln' sech
an insultin' feller as yu TO see me.
He ought 10 be put Outten oizness.'
I sez, sez !, "Walker's hack is my feet
an neether yoo nor emmy uther derned
man Is a-goin' to put them outten
bizness. | KUN yeer on my own leth-
er an III leeye on my own lether.
di ~ need nun Of yore help to git
yeer, an / don't need nun Of yore
help 20 git away. The trubble with
VI Alferd. Is that you're in the grip
Of d lot OF fellers hoo Is feedin' y0G
on lies an a-milkin' yore pOcklt.
They've bin a-doin' hit so long that
yoo don't know the truth Wen yoo
hear it. Jay Frank Alice, Ned Davis,
Ned Bradford, Ike Bowers an them
uther fellers look upon yoo as bein'
one hunderd per cent. butter fat, an
they're a-milkin' 700 akordingly. I'm
a-goin' now, but, like sam Slmpklns
wife down there in Sandtown, I'm a
comm back, an wen | do, you'll be
a poorer but a wiser man, bekaws Jay
Frank Alice, Ned Davis, Ned Bradford
Ike Bowers an them uther feller5 Is
a-gittin' while the gittin's good
An so / left KneemOors, Mary Ann
an / didn't heer Alferd l. say KUN
agln'." wen I passed throo that derned
iailyard gate with its sheet steel plate
to keep the publlck frum lookin' in an
seein' wether the grass in the medder
Is green or pink. .
Plees send me up a klene SCOT Of
underklothes by parsel post, an also
pare OF stockin's an that selluloid kOl-
Ter. Wen yu rite, tell me how them
there silver-skin unyun sets is a-glt-
tin along. Ef yu need the rake, sam
Norton has IL a-proppln' back his side
shutter He borrowed 10 last fall. When
the tortus she'll cat has httins, send
me wun fer Mr.. TAFT an wun fer Mis-
ter Harkins.
That wuz a helluvu hard rain we
had up yeer on Friday mite, an be-
leeve me to bs.>
Yore luyin' husband,
bili Jones.