davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
NEW YORK CITY
By o. o. MCINTYRE

New York. Nov. 23.-A page from
the diary OF a modern Samuel Pepys:
Up betimes, and after a quick small
bite to eat. ! mounted and rode with
]. Powers around the park, and a
mighty fine chill there was in the
air. At slovenly place we stopped
for big breakfast and twice we got
bad eggs, which vexed us to the
blood, and so to Ripley's. the sketch
er. who made hot toast and coffee.
but By the Saints his eggs were
soilt, too.
In my riding breeches to ]. Barnes
Wells, and he did lead me to the
Savoy. where a right merry gather
ing, and they fell to discussing the
book Madeline, the true autoblog-
raphy of a harlot. some claiming Il
great. and others mawkish, and I
vowed to read It.
Thence Wells to his home and I to
e. Simpson, the barrister. and found
Mistress Louise hath bought a new
pup. Boston, and as sad-eyed a dog
as ever I saw I'll be bound. but
right waggish and cunning. And I
stayed all the forenoon rompine
with him and named him Gambler,
which i think is a fairish name.
Home and ate with my wife, poor
wretch. a dish of of my own direct
ing made of chopped meats and a
mayonnaise. Bide Dudley came to
say he was going on a journey and
made bold to undertake to keep
the key of his cellar. but he was
suspicious and obstinate. Lord,
What simple, untrusting cox
comb.
In the late evening. through the
town. and ! saw Nine. Yvette Gull
pert In brave furs. and J. Drew, the
play actor. and Commissioner Eli
else. Home again where / read late
and SO to bed.
Undertakers in New York now
have press agents. Two of the big
gest establishments in town - one
with its own church on broadway -
have employed trained newspaper
men to look out for their publicity
needs. One OF the press agents is a
Dartmouth man and is said to, get
$4,000 a year. There are some un-
usual stories in the daily elegies that
are uttered in various funeral chap
els in New York and a good writer
can weave the material so gathered
into thriller. either along comedy
lines or those of grimy tragedy.
No longer will those queer. watery
eyed down-and- sing out.
Matrimonial Moose" in front of the
aters and cafes at night along
Broadway. The Matrimonial News"
plant was raided the other day and
the district attorney ordered that
| its publication be stopped. The pa
per did a thriving business amone
other things in the highly philan-
thropic work of selecting mates. by
scientific means, for the matrimo-
nially inclined male and female
A bark back to the days before
July l was enjoyed briefly by the
visiting hotel men at the conven-
tiOn here last week. At the annual
dinner served by young John Nick.
Bowman at his Commodore Hot,N.
there were cocktails, hiGhballs, and
even fizzling champagne. Jack has
q cellar out at his country home pa
Long Island and he went clear dow n
to the second level for some choice
drinks for his associates. Reporters
said it was the first thing like a
regular banquet they had seen since
July.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
MANS SUSPICION LOSES IN
CLASH WITH WIFE'S ANGER
Police Aid Sought When Wife Disappears
Telephone Call Proves Complainant
Himself Is Cause of Worry.

An excited. belligerent young man
dashed into police headquarters late
last night and demanded the entire
d. 'ective force devote itself to the
OF finding his wife.
when came home today. my wife
was r"." gasped the agitated
stranCc Il need help"
ting Inspector Cornwell gazed
Coohy upon personified distress.
"Wh'n did you last phone your
home he inquired.
Two hours ago." said Distress.
Call again." suggested Cornwell.
The wifeless husband seated himself
at the telephone and called a number.
A querulous voice greeted him.
'Is that you. wifie?''-Surprise.
Yes, it is" came a petulant voice.
Where have you been all this time,
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

There arc some men who declare
that Jesus came TO establish an ideal
republic.
: Others insist that He came to set
up a Utopian democracy.
They are both wrong; He came to
inaugurate an absolute monarchy-a
kingdom which shall be comprised Of
all those who will acknowledge His
kingship.
And yet practically every social re-
former insists that Jesus is the advo-
cate of His particular theory. even
though these theories be as far apart
as the poles-North and South.
Whatever else this may indicate, II
proves that the Christianity OF Jesus is
e bigger, broader thing than any
ism"
But nobody can prove that Jesus
was the champion of any social sys-
TEN.
He lived in an age when social con-
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Freshness of an Egg.

An contemporary bewang dollar egg market
that people demand fresh instead of eodoage
aside from its freshness the codorage good the
laid people have the fresh whether there
not" Thus the editorial
Our idea always has been that about all there
its freshness.
We admit that codstorage probably has much shell
had and somewhere concealed its interior there is doubt
less less yok and white and well developed CELL and
ahap embryonic chick but somehow though the all there
has been generally admitted that freshness
that worth all it might
In impeuous youth slid down hill late july and
wound neglected full of Regular only they
weren't fresh
Ma seemed to have the prevailing prejudice against unreh
for she made und the woodhd and take bar of soft
and brush and scrub caoused
she let inside the
And those aside from their lack of freshness
good they
We fear brother editor is going have righ-sma choe
ahead OF him trying popuarze the unfresh egg.
New York milk right
idea Let's all eating anything that much Skinny
people are fashionable anyway.
authority" Mobs always without authority except
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Down In Old Kentucky.

WAYNE w. CORDELL4 pension ex-
pert for the Pensions Committee OF
the House OF Representatives. is q
Tennessee an and says he is proud n il.
Representative SAM r SELLS, chair
man Of the committee. also is a native
OF Tennessee. and is equally proud of
the fact. They both regard Kentucky
as their sister State. and Wayne there
fore sent Inc a parody on MY Old
Kentucky Home" from the pencil or
typewriter of Bailey, OF the Houston
Post. Here il is:
''Oh. the clouds hang low in my old
Kentucky home. tits winter and the
trees are all bare: the lection is Ger
and the pubukins have won and the
dimmycrats are up in the air. The
old States dry and the blue grass
withered is and the stills all are shut
down good and tight. and the boot
leggcr's charging sl5.Op for a quart
then my old kentucky home, GOOD
NIGHT"
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
CHAPTER IA.

CHAPTER IA.
The battle Of four kings against five. L Lot
is taken prisoner. II Abram rescueth him.
ls MelchiZedek bleSseth Abram- % Abram
giyeth him 1.-THE. . The rest Of the spoil, his
partners having had their portions. be re-
storeth to the king Il Sodom.
And it came to pass in the days
of Amraphel king of Shinar. Arioch
king of Ellasar. Chedorlaomer king
of Elan. and Tidal king of nations
2 That these made war with
Bera king of Sodom. and with
Birsha king of Gomorrah. Shinab
king of Admah. and Shemeber king
OF Zeboiim. and the king OF Bella,
which is Zoar.
All these were Joined together
in the vale of Siddim. which is the
salt sea.
4 Twelve years they served Che
dorlaomer, and in the thirteenth
year they rebelled.
5 And in the fourteenth year
came Chedorlaomer. and the kings
that were with him, and smote the
Rephaim in Ashteroth Karnaim. and
the Zuzim in Ham, and the Emim
in Shaveh Kiriathaim.
And the Horites in their mount
SER. unto El-paran, which Is by the
wilderness.
And they returned, and came
to Enmishpat, which is Kadesh. and
smote all the country of the Amale-
kites, and also the Amorites, that
dwelt in Hazezontamar.
And there went out the king
or Sodom. and the king of Gomor-
rah. and the king of Admah. and
the king OF Zeboiim. and the king
of Bella, 'the same IL Zoar;) and
they Joined battle with them in the
vale of Siddim;
3 With Chedorlaomer the king
OF Elan. and with Tidal king of
nations. and Amraphel king Of
Shinar. and Arioch king of Eliasar;
four kings with five.
10 And the vale of Siddim vns
full OF slimepits; and the kings OF
sodom and Gomorrah ncd. and fell
there: and they that remained fieo
to the mountain.
il And they took all the goods
OF Sodom and Gomorrah, and all
their vfctdals. and went their way.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
The Twelve-Hour Day.

Did do hard work twelve hours davs
And after having done that day. did working twelve
hours day for the week? Yes SUNDAY oo7
And did you ever try working twelve hours day,
a week. month in and month out, year after year?
No? Well, then don't know is that has b..n
asked OF hundreds of thousands of fellow citizens the men
who have toied in the mills and foundes industry
There many have had the twvehou day.
week schedule for And the mills insisted that
must cold steel must
never halt Workers have argued this be
eompshed by three shifts of four shifts of six
hours each, instead OF shifts Of twelve each
II the steel strike is by the workers; their union is
ctoriou they collective BARGAINING then
there Will be no tweehour shifts and heren
OF work each
How do the steel kings would standing in
'front.' OF furnace twelve hours day. of the
week? How minutes would Gary Schwab stoke fur
mace before organizing union and demanding employees
are asking for today?
fou thing for the has ereatv
developed the art Of bookkeeping.
friend is one who loves You in spite of Dragging
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
1T IS WHAT YOU ARE
WITHIN THAT COUNTS
uY THE REV. CHARLES STELzLE

ditions were much worse than they
are today.
He denounced these conditions as no
man of His time dared denounce them,
but instead of advocating another
social system. he began to change in
diTidual men.
Josh Billings once said that before
We can have an honest horse race,
we must have an honest human race.
Before we can have an ideal social
system we must have ideal men.
If it were true that all sin Is due to
poverty. then all the capitalists are
Saints
After all, whatever may be said for
better surroundings-and I'm strong
for better social conditions-it's what
a man is within and not so much what
he has without that determines his
destiny.
1t was a very wise sage who wrote:
out of the heart are the issues OF
life"
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

and what do you mean by staying out
so late? I've been home two hours.
You've had me worried to death.
Come home this instant"
Yes. dear" the mere man respond
ed. weakly. He bade a hasty adieu.
and skunk out of the detective office.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Roads Saved France.

With the A E. F. home from France States has
advocates of good roads
French highways opened the soldiers Some
doughboys insist fun hike he regardless of
75-pound packs
Excellence OF roads back of the battle contributed
the suppy
Without roads Of the French variety Joe could
have succeeded in moving axieab and stopping
at the Marne when the first drive
From Brest the Rhine Marsees the Ameri
fighters found France honeycombed
transportation.
"Ship by Truck" facilities ideal
They home wanting Kind of highways in the
United States
The Russian Soviet willing ranspora
ton for Reds who furnish bai
The radicals ardor coos when his wife able buy coat
as good as that by bankers wife
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Free Trial PIAPAO

No charge for It nov Or eTer. Lea u .end yot
a mass Of evidence 70 prove what the PLAPAo
PADS are doing for others La Us send yoS
our book on Rupture, telling YOU many thine
about this distressing mAlAdy that you doc e
know We have sTon statements on fl. frcr
all or- the country. positively rroFinE that N.
PLAPAoPADS have corrected. foT all time ts
come. the dangerous coaditicn that !. The csus
Of the prutHHion known as ''r1psure" Don Z
WAIT, DON'T DELAY q minute Send ycT
name and sddress TODAY. We will send 8
FREE TRIAL PLAPAo tr returu mail Ely
hook on rupture. Address PLAPAO %. BIcI
. St Louis Mo.-Ady
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Took Chloroform For
Rheumatism, Will Live

Chloroform as a remedy for rheu-
matism caused James y. Chidsey, 81,
Of aO5 Fifteenth street northeast. to
be sent to Washington Asylum Hos
pital for treatment. Chidsey's condl-
ton is not serious.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR
BY John Kendrick Bangs.

NOT ALL BAD.
A bit Of Care came by today,
But when 1t ran its course the
Brighter
Instead of darkening my way
By going made II much the brighter,
And that Is why I say of Care
That while I'd rather 60 without II
There are some things both good and
fair about 1t.
Copyright. 1873. by The Mcclure Newspaper
Syndicate)
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
JUST IN FUN

Why don't you attend church,
asked the minister OF a non-church
going man.
Well. I'll tell you. sir. The first
time l went to church they threw
water in my face, and the second time
they tied me to a woman I've had to
keep ever since"
Yes" said the parson. land the
next time you go they'll throw dirt
on ou."-Ladies' Home Journal
How do you like that cigar I gave
you. old man? For 200 bands off that
brand they give you a gramophone. "
You don't say! II smoked 200 OF
those cigars I wouldn't want a gram
ophone: I'd want a harp."-London
Tit-Bits.
Friend-"Is her father the kind of
man who would pursue you if you
eloped?"
Jack Poore-"No. he's the kind of
man who'd move so that you couldn't
tind him when you came back" ."-Bos-
ton Transcript
(which is the most delicate Of the
senses?' asked the teacher.
The touch" said young Jones.
"How's that" asked the teacher.
and Jones explained: We'll. when you
sit on a pin. you can't see it. you can't
hear it, you can't taste it. but it's
there. re."-Edinburgh Scotsman.
The Clerk-Can have two hours of
this afternoon, Mr.. Hardface. I'm
to be married today.
The Boss-I'll let you of for the oc-
casion this time. but see that it doesn't
happen too often.-Detroit News
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
VIII MAX. Good con...s.r.

MY comrade OF the war with Spain.
CLAlBoRN s. CLOSE. who has been
nominated for commander Of Gen.
Nelson A. Miles Camp. No. !, United
Spanish War Veterans, rs known as
live wire. He is an ofhcial OF the
Department OF Justice. stationed at
the Training School for Boys out on
the Bladensburg road, and when
elected will put into effect his SLOGAN
More comrades: better comradp-
ship. While in Chicago he was the
confidential and trusted assistant 81
Lieut. Gov. Barratt O'Hara- OF I'M
nois, another SPLENDID veteran OF the
wsr in 1885 that made free the on
pressed people Of the Gem OF the
Antilles"
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Came Hack on the Job.

On the invitation of Sergt. CHARLEY
A. STEVENS. OF the House of Deten-
ton, dropped into Pythian Temple
where the Circle Club was holding one
of its famous iollif1cations. The guests
were nearly all members OF the Ma
sonic fraternity. and it surely was a
happy bunch. Charley is acknowl-
edged 10 be one OF the best entertain
ers i'm the District. and the affairs he
presides over are marked by pep and
joyousness. There were cigars. min
strels. good things 10 eat and CLIFF
LANHAM. the genial superintendent
OF trees and parking of the District
government
4 group OF Masons discussed an oc-
currence OF several years ago when
Charley Stevens was a duty sergeant
in the Eleventh police precinct. across
the Eastern branch Of the Potomac.
He became seriously i'll while a candi-
date for promotion to a lieutenancy,
and Chief of Police SYLVESTER gave
him an extended leave of absence for
the benefit Of his health. His brother
officers concluded that Charley had
gone away TO die. and the heutenancy
went TO another man. But the dead
man came back One day a hearty.
red faced man full OF pep. stepped into
Mai. SyIvester's Office, saluted and
said:
Il am back. sir. and report for
duty"
II was Sergt stevens. fully recov-
cred from his ailment and ready for
any sort OF service But he never got
the lieutenancy which he had "cinch-
ed" when he went away to die.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Three Shot in Cheese Argument,

Detroft-An argument started ir
Nike Pizzo,s restaurant over a piece
OF cheese. The cheese was dropped to
lhe iloor ana guns drawn PiLzo was
wounded in the arm and hand: one Of
his patrons was hit in the knee, an
other in the hip.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Round the Town F',S FrSaHHEa FrESaStEE. ssE5

terms at the old workhouse in
extreme East washington. While
speaking of Saulsbury with SAM
KENDIG. veteran bailiff of the
Police Court. we called TO memory
the occasion when ALBERT T.
WALMSLEY, then q Police Court
reporter. tried 20 marry Sauisbury
TO ELLEN ALE, another police
character. The woman gave q beer
and whisky party in her shack
and salisbury was the guest OF
honor. The police raided the place
when the hilarIty became riotous
and the noise almost awakened the
dead In a nearby graveyard There
were ten soiled prisoners with al
coholic faces in the Police Court
the next day. Walmsley, scentinE
a good story. talked with Ellen Ale
and advised her to explain to Judge
kimball that the jolIifcation was a
wedding party at which Ellen and
salisbury were to have been mar
ried. had not the police interfered.
Ellen told the story to the court
all right, but when salisbury was
called to the stand in verincation.
he drew up his more than ak feet
OF height in dignity and roundIy
denounced Ellen Ale and her state
ment.
Me marry that thing" he said.
Not at all: not at all. am stiII
gentleman, even IL ] am a bum.
My present intention. your honor.
is to remain single. il not sober.
from now on"
But Walmsley accepted the state
ment Of Ellen. and the prenuptiaJ
celebration with trimmings wa,
printed in an afternoon Newspaper.
When salisbury had finished his
term at the workhouse. he declared
he would find the man who Eav.
him such pitiless publicity and
club him into submission"
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
VIII Protest statue Removal

WIN StaNue nf"ONaL
The statue of Abraham Lincoln
mounted on a tall. slender pedes: a,
IN front OF the courthouse represents
the pennies OF colored children in this
city and the Southern States, con-
tributed soon after the civiIrwa Col
SAM r. STRATTAN explained 10 me
And" he said, Its removal will
bring forth a strong protest from the
colored people here. They will not
consent TO have IL boxed and htowed
away in some obscure place. as was
done with the statue OF George Wash
ington. in the toga OF a Roman Sena-
tor. which for many years stood on
the east front of the Capitol. II the
effigy Is placed in the Hall Of Fame or
some other prominent place there may
be no protest, but the negroes will
never consent to having IL poked
away out OF sight to be forgotten"
Col. Strattan said he met Charles
Douglass. son of the late Frederick
Douglass, and 1t was agreed that If
the statue is to be removed from its
present site. ii should be placed in
front of the new amphitheater at
Arlington where the great Lincoln can
look down upon the magnificent Capt.
tai City that has grown since he pre-
sided in the White House.
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
when George Didn't Get Married.

One OF the really unique char
acters in Washington about twenty
five years ago was GEORGE
SALISBURY. a veteran of the regu-
lar army. whose horse fell with
him and crippled both legs. He
walked with a cane OF club-like
proportions and was reputed to be
the ugliest man in the District
George frequently fell into the
hands of the police because OF his
bibulous habits. and served many
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
Collective Bargaining.

Employers they
vdualy advancing that impossible impractical
and nonsensical
The has been conditions for the
boss make the without worker
chance express his grievance.
Suppose boss who employed should
hold conference with each of He
fifteen miles long waiting his Office, gave
hour of his me it would take fifteen years.
long for boss the average
worker in fifteen years.
AS matter of fact the boss who he deal
with the chosen of deal
with them at al-he make the himself
Collective bargaining involves the principle
division OF labor principle accepted by all industry The
workers task his work. while the job
his business deal with the
In order that the worker shall
interests with other workers and choose
executive ability and pay them salaries
This IS collective bargaining unonm the right organize
the only whereby the workers
the time have their looked
employers.
Our present statesmen just brilliant the
Why sixty Congress wouldn't
s. ,oooOooooo.
Six teachers New Yoks schools This seems
unreasonable until remember the of get
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

Some folks are asking-why Thanks
giving?
When one can't meet the cost OF liv-
ing:
Can't touch turkey. can't touch goose.
What in thunder? What's the usel
MRS. 4. G. H
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24
THE THE BIBLE
GENESIS.

Translated out of the original tongues and
from the edition known as Our Mothers Bible"
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

Six teachers New Yoks schools Communists This seems
unreasonable until remember pay teachers get
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

L. C. Martens complains of American mob acting without
authority Mobs always without authority except
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

The Russian Soviet is willing furnish rans
ion for Reds who wanted here it also furnish
The Washington herald., 1919-11-24

friend is one who loves You in spite of your Dragging
The Washington times., 1919-08-28
ACTORS CHEER NEW
BYCOHAN
Wild Scene Follows Offer of
100000 Loan BY
Producer.

NEW YORK, Aug. 2S.-Gecrge NJ.
Cohan, at a meeting Of the new Ac-
tors Fidelity League at the Hotel
Biltmors accepted the presidency Of
that organization, announced his
resignation from the Producing Man
ayers Association. and offered to
back the new association to the ex-
tent of S5OO.0O0.
He also submitted from the man
ayers a form of contract which, as
Louis Mann, vice president, said, sur
passed the widest dreams of the Ac-
tors Equity Association, the body
which the Fidelity promoters hope to
supplant.
Mr.. Cohan renewed his previously
made offer of 100000 to the league,
and suggested that the check which
he had brought be turned over to the
Actors Fund of America, If the board
of directors persisted in refusing it.
This suggestion for a donation to the
Actors Fund was carried admid the
customary histrionic outburst Of
cheers.
New Contract ArOuses Cheers
Mr.. Cohan aroused an even greater
storm of applause by reading the fol-
lowing provisions for a new form of
contract which he said the Producing
Managers Association was willing to
grant:
Eight performances to constitute a
week, with additional performances
to be paid for at the rate of one
eighth extra.
Dramatic companies to rehearse
gratis for four weeks, with additional
weeks of rehearsal paid for at full
salary.
Musical shows to rehearse five
weeks, with additional rehearsals at
full salary
All costumes, wigs, shoes, and
stockings for the chorus in musical
comedies to be furnished by the man
ager, and in both dramatic and musi-
cal companies all gowns to be fur
nished by the manager.
Salaries to be paid no later than
Saturday night.
If the play is rehearsed less than
ten days and abandoned by the man
ager full salary shall be paid.
To ArbltraJe Disputes.
In case of dispute over a violation
of contract, the case to be settled by
arbitration, manager and actor choOs-
ing a representative, with a neutral
umpire called in from outside the the
ater if no settlement Is reached after
three days. No suits are to be
brought after the award.
Beginning next season, full salaries
are to be paid all companies dur
ing the week before Christmas and
Holy Week, whether they work or not
Wherever possible this arrangement
to be made this season though so
many routes have been booked that
no general agreement can be made
on this point.
Cheers which outdid anything the
Fidelity have tried their voices on
and they can do plain and fancy work
at cheering-greeted these provisions,
which marked the most sweeping con-
cessions ever made by managers in
the theatrical history.