Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1919-05-03

Why is professional bonds
man?
What are they doing arom.
here?
Why censor the news?
Why are reporters barred from
police offices?.
Has Morton brother-in-Iaw in
the Police Department?
Did Morton go the bonds o.
Cooper and Francis to pleas,
Evans?
/ Did he think they were angels
and would fly?
! Who is II. G. Ogden? Who is H
r. Ogen? Whose brother are they?
When are the keystone police GO
ing to graduate from school?
Who is going to tailor Winter
schmitt's uniform?
What does Chesley whisper in
Burlingame's ear?
Who protects the Third-streei
chilli parlOr which sells liquors on
Sunday?
What has become of Petty's Key.
stone Police Jazz Band?
Why is Secretary Jimmy Cunning.
ham given the right to wear a Cap
tain's uniform?
Supplemented with these queries
we're some pieces of art. One show
ed a man shackled, handcpffed
gagged and wearing blinkers II
was entitled, "a reporter gathering
news at the City Hall" Another
was one designed to touch keen
sensibilities and was labeled, 1.-THE
police censor covering up"
AS we sad at the beginning of
this article, what an awful reversal
of form on the part of Smith and
Petty, who promised to let the pub
lie in on the news. Instead they
are represented as gagging the
daily press and are so charged by
the entire daily press representa-
tives, regardless of their politics.
Where, oh, where, are those leaders
in the Mems Federation who were
so active guarding our morals dur
ing Democratic reign? They can
surely find matter for investigation
in the long list of mysteries" fur
Rished by the reporters. Surely
Messrs. Gernert. Meddis, Johnson,
Chandler, DR.. Lockhart, and last,
but not least, Dr. Hunt, will .inves-
tigate and furnish an anxious pub
lie the answer to the mysteries"
The poor old Board of Safety Is
getting ratified under the broadside
coming from all sides and Burlin-
game, the chief in power, is an
nouncing so many changes daily
for the good of the service" that
he has been delayed in getting rid
of the few Democrats left the Po-
lice Department, and incidentally
the only real police left to protect
the public. Thursday it was "off
agin, off agin," for Capt. Guelda,
being switched from the First to the
Second, probably in answer to the
protests of the stockyards men. In
the Sixth district the Republican
and lately converted Republican sa-
loon-keepers and their following of
gamblers are protesting against
Capt. Hundley's reign, and have
been circulating petition to have
Smyser reinstated. One of the Off
Gals of the lower board is said to
have tried his hand at smoothing
the path for the boys who want to
''hunch" a little, but the Captain
stood his ground and said, Nothing
doing" Watch the outcome of this
fight.
From one end of the town to the
other comes the stories of the Key
stone police, and hardly any little
gathering is complete without the
anecdotes of the comedy cops. They
are even more popular than the
Ford jokes, but every now and then
you may run acros some one in the
crowd who doesn't smile at the ca
pers of the Keystoners, and when
you query you'll find he can't see
the humOr OF it, being q victim of
the army of crooks and hold-up
men operating in our midst. One
night last week the motorman on
West Chestnut street car saw
burglar leisurely operating in
Quaker Maid grocery. doing his
shopping early, as II was after mid
night. The motorman hurried his
car to the intersection and notified
one of our keystone police that a
burglary was transpiring at the next
corner. The comedy cop said.
well, declare; TIL go out to the
barn (station house, and get some
police to lock him up" Needless to
say. the enterprising burglar was
gone when the patrol of Keystoners
came from Garland avenue.
The residents of F street don't
seem to care much for our Key
stone guardians. some Of them in
dignantly objecting to the motor
cycle cops riding on the pavement
lives of children and old people,