The Washington times., 1919-11-24

Another Little Cloud.
A Dead Undertaken.
100 Per Cent Profiteer-
ing."
Ladies Are Difficult.

IVY.
| Ladies Are Difficult.
By ARTHUR BRISBANE
Copyright, islsD
A cloud hangs over the Rio
Grande, q possibility Of war be-
tween Mexico and the United States
very faint it does not disturb
Carranza-
Mexico's oil supply Is nation
alized,' a pleasant word borrowed
from Russia, meaning that Mexico
. decides to confscate property OF
Americans and other foreisners.
Her bandits kidnap the Ameri-
, can consul, Jenkins, then Carran-
Ia puts him In Jail, saying the
kidnapping was a put up job. There
won't be any war. probably, for, as
NorthcIiffe says, this is a patient
country.
This headline you read rarely:
Undertaken Commits Suicide"
Arthur Kaiser Is his name. Con-
necticut his State. The line holds
you. You know that girls in candy
stores soon get tired of candy and
cooks have poor appetites-they
see too much food.
An undertaken, you would say,
must see enough of death, without
rushing into it, But you never can
tell what a human being will do.
Victor Berger, running for Con-
gress, after being put out. reminds
you of Tim Healy, the Irishman,
put OF the floor by the Speaker
and running up TO the Prince Of
Wales place in the gallery to con-
time insulting Colonel Sanderson,
Of whom he said. The honorable
aid gallant gentleman is a willful
and cowardly liar,
Berger is out with a platform,
nearly all Of its planks against"
something. This shows intelli-
gence, for men vote AGAINST
things more often than FOR them.
Many not Socialists win see merit
IN these two lines of the platform:
against 100 per cent profit.
eerihy nasquerading as 100 per
cent ABericaniSm."
Sad as it may sound, it seems
quite probable that Berger will be
reelected, although Republicans
and Democrats have united against
him.
His constituents in Wisconsin
apparently think that they, not
members of Congress living in
other States, sGould select their
representative. They ara Ike the
Engiishmen that insisted o. re-
eiecting Bradlaugh, condemned be-.
cause he, foolishly, denied the ex-
istence f God, and would not take
the prescribed oath.
The eight day as "a world
principle" is urged at the Wash
ington International Labor Confer
ence. It is a good principle, but in
parts of the world-China, for in
stance-lack Of machinery makes
lit impossible for populations to
keep alive on an eight-hour work
ing basis.
In a country where they drill
wells two and three thousand feet
deep, the hammering power being
a stone in q mans hands. that man
can't earn a living in eight hours.
But hands Plus usaehfrer~' can do
it, and viii. Develop and distribute
machinery, good pay, good books,
with leisure TO read them, and
you'll solve social problems-in q
few centuries.
A witty person, disapproving
eight hours day and high wages,
says: "The great working class
viii soon be spending eight hours
in sleep, eight hours at work,
eight hours spending what they
earn"
Would that be worse than tie
small class now existing and de-
voting the entire twenty-four hours
to spending what somebody else
earned?
Fair woman when she cuts
loose is difficult, Ask the Mexican
strikers, whose women, the other
day, first took their jobs, then
drove them back to work. Ask the
ghost of Dionysius, hunted and
torn to pieces by the Bacche, a
group of ladies that included his
own mother. Ask southern poll
ticians, who say, "We can control
the votes of black men, but heav-
~en save US if the black women
vote"
Ask Miss Cobb, superintendent
of Bedford Reformatory for
Women in New York. She says
the only successful method with
Young ladies in her institution is
handwriting, them TO cell bars,
putting them on a bread diet and
holding their heads in cold water
until they lose their volubility,
which is extreme. The authori-
a.. -orLaoo will n.sS On NiSs