The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-06-12
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S u N B E AN s.

II <A line. The story
A was about 1 sol
der who kissed
- 100 girls all lin a
row and his boss gave him Z raise in
pay and gold watch. No wonder
he exclaimed "Ain't it a glorious
feelin'?" recall an incident Cor
rather an accident) in my own lie.
went to see my girl and as Twas
takin' my leave l kissed her-at least
l think I did am quite sure
meant to do SOL can't say positive
ly did or didn't for just at that
critical moment her old man gave
me mo, not a gold watch) raise
on the toe of his No. 10 boot--Was
it a g-l-o-r-i-o-u-s feelin'? Ill say it
was
If it took Ford 80 years to build
what he had the effrontery to cali All
automobile land what a confiding.
unsuspecting public accepted as
such) how long will it take him to
convince a jury that he amt an
anarchist? Please don't all answer
at once.
An over-the- flight (by any
other nanle) would be quite as ex-
pensive and opine just as much of
a-joke.
Time and again have warned you
not to be envious of the great and
of those who sit in high places. A
great man is like grass-in the morn
ing he flourishes and looks fine-but
along in the afternoon he goes look
in for a job. By the way, has any
body heard from Hoover lately?
Butterfly collections cost IL Mil
lion dollars-Headline. opine that
there be some specimens of butter
flies on the streets of my home town |
that would add materially to said
collection.
Luxury Tax May Stay-Headline
Well, by golly, as l said before, |
amt sayin' anything.
Ford may not be an anarchist, but
am willin' to bet that the thing he
placed on the market and named
car is more deadly than a bomb.
ITO Shop by Air Plane in Paris
Headline. And by gosh it looks as
if folks in Butler would have to do
likewise unless prices come down.
Instead of hollerin' for justice the
Huns should be begin for mercy,
for if they had gotten justice they d
have all been lookin up rope long
ago. 4-
A fellow who claimed to be a
stranger here Che said Heaven was
his home and that he was only here
on visit) said to me, you are
we'll read man amt your Eyes, sir
says ], II shore am" Have YOU
read 'Quovadis asked. NO."
says l. Have you Them he asked,
read SUIT Lovingood' or Bill Nye'
or Mark Twain or the Vicar Of
Wakefield'?" Not guilty. says ].
Then how in the name of the peace
congress can you claim to be well
read MANI" WELL now, my heaven
ly visitor" says l, tits like this
everybody reads 'Sunbeams' and as l
write 'em allow I'm a we'll read
man. P. 81 turned to look at
him and Lobe was not.
Once when | was a boy Ooh, yes,
was once boy) | was. walkin
along road on the bank OF river
met a man who said to me Hello,
son, III bet you my hat 'agin' yourn
that we are on the other side of the
river l quickly called the bet and
then he said, now amt that one
side? (pointing to the opposite side)"
Yes, sir" it shore u.s." ! replied.
well, them says he, "ain't this the
other?" So lost my hat-Soon
met another chap and ! thought to
even things up and not 60 home bare
headed-so / said to him, "l'll bet
you my knife 'agin' your hat you are
on the luther side of the creek"
"All right says he. So ! up and
said, Amt this one side?' "Kerect,
my son." says he, 1T is" We'll,
them" said l, "aint that (pointing
across) the tuther?" Quite right"
says he, but amt on that side"
You see ! got slightly mixed and SO,
| lost my knife-along with my hat.
P. S. And the world lost a gambler.
1t is not from lack of paper
That ! refuse to tell the thrill
OF how (l didn't cut a caper
Nor is it yet lack of will
The reason is (if I must own it)
Why in the air didn't shine
l couldn't find a dub who'd loan it
The price was ten-I lacked Just nine.
The above is one reason why III
failed to get up in the world via the I.
air plane route-the vital reason was
that Gust before was to start) Iii
was made wise to the fact that the
editor of The Times had arranged
with the pilot of the ship that when
he had got me up he WITS to circle
around until he had got me over the
square (where Id hit the pavement) Ii
and then turn a "summerset" and
let me fall out. OF course, / felt E
hurt. Twas mean way of tryin' to
beat me out of some back pay and
meant my complete placement from
all things earthly. But at that amt Z
hurt as badly as ! would have been
had the diabolical plan been success
full. L,
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