The Washington herald., 1919-01-01

II not affectionate terms with the
female relatives they have acquired
by marriage. But when two women
are brought together in the relation
ship of in-laws there is something
about the artificial connection that
seems to bring out everything that is
mean and catfish in their disposition
as a hot poulticc brings out the
measles.
They hump their backs and spit at
each other at sight in spite.of the
fact that they are perfectly aware
that by so doing they are going to
jeopardize not only their own happi-
ness but that OF the unfortunate man
who is the bone of contention be
tween them. and whom both Of them
think they love.
/ Certainly a school for mothers-in-
law that would teach them to deal
with forbearance, with tact and dis
cretion with their sons and daugh-
ters-in-law is a much-needed insti-u-
ton. and it is not hard to suggest
what its curriculum should be.
It should begin with combating the
old falIacy that when a woman's son
marries she gets a new daughter and
when her daughter maTrles she gets a
new son. She doesn't This miracle
no more takes place psychically than
it does physically.
Your own children are used to all
of your little ways and know that
your nagging simply means your over
anxious mother love and interest IN
them. Therefore. they can forgive IT.
To your in-lawS, who are not used to
you and have no affection for you.
your naggins is simply an intolerable
affiiction not to be borne.
Also for your own children, YOU
make a million excuses for every
thing that they do and don't do. but
you sit in stern judgment on the
shortcomings of your in-laws and
they resent your unjust criticism ac-
cordingly.
Therefore, learn as the first lesson
in the mother-in-law course that your
in-laws are strangers. and treat them
with the reserve and politeness that
you would show TO strangers.
The second lesson that should be
instilled into the mother-in-law's $
mind is that II is a crime that should
be punishable with death for her to
butt into her in-law's affairs. Every
man and every woman have an in
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homes in their own way without any
advice from the mothers on either
side.
II mothers could only make up their
minds to the heroic sacrifice of letting
their sons-in-law eat what they like,
smoke where they please, worship
their own gods and go to their own
clubs. without any suggestions from
them. and If they could only rise to
the heights of permitting their daugh-
ters-in-law to have the kind of wall
paper they fancy, and use their best
china every day and bring their chill
dren I'D according to books, instead Of
in the old fashioned way. it would do
more to bring about the domestic
millennium than anything else in the
world.
Hands off of your children's af-
fairs when they are married, should
be the motto painted on every wall
of every mother-in-law's class room.
The third thing that should be
taught in the mother-in-law school
is the utter folly of any woman who
has ever had a home of her own
trying to live peaceably in some
body else's home. For mother to
go to live with a married child is
like putting a charge of dynamite
under the hearthstone. And it gen
orally blows up and scatters every
thing to kingdom come.
A middle aged woman is the most
unadaptable creature in the world.
She couldn't change IL she wanted
TO, and she never wants to. BY the
time she is fifty years old she is
certain that her ways of doing
things. her opinions, her views are
the only correct ones on earth. and
that IL is her solemn duty to force
them on everybody else. Therefore.
she makes life a purgatory for her
in-laws when she tries to live with
them.
This makes the solution of the
mother-in-law question practically
a case-of absence of the body, and
il the school for mothers-in-law can
teach women that IL is better for
them to live in a hotel. a boarding
house, or evensthe poor house than
with their married children, mil
lions OF grateful people will rise and
bless its name.
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