Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-07-13
The OTHER ANGLE.
Costs of Wars.
BY KIRK MILLER.

The high cost of fighting has flop
ped so far north recently that it's
getting SO a nation can't afford to
fight any more. It's cheaper to run
than to fight, especially if the run
ming is down hill. Nineteen months
of war cost Uncle Sam $30.0OO,OO0 900
fiat. That means his pocketbook was
the shape of Childs pancake when
the armistice cured the fighting. The
tar-spangled purse was f1atter than
a pan of clabber milk dropped from
the dome of the Capitol. After that
European smear that Great Britain
won for us. the nations pocketbook
had only two dimensions, length and
width. No more thickness than there
is between this minute and the next
Back in the good old days when
a couple Of nations could conduct a
sociable little war without the whole
world horning in on it fighting
wasn't so expensive. But that's the
way it is when you get a good thing
going. First thing you know some
body is stealing your stuff and little
later on in come the mice with the
maggots. centipedes, tarantulas and
horned toads-and then the price
July.
Twenty years ago Spain was trying
to shove Cuba around like an Atlantic
City rolling chair. and early one
morning somebody playfully sunk
the Maine. The United States de-
ciared war on the Espanolas and we
had a real exclusive fiasco. without
anybody on the sidelines trying to
get their faces into the movies. The
whole affair didn't cost either side
over two dollars and a quarter and
when peace was made everybody took
treaties or leagues to sign and no
expensive entangling alliances. No
senators were calling each other bad
names and thinking worse ones, and
every one agreed that it was a very
successful war for all concerned.
That was in the palmy days when
bird could pull a stunt without fear
of another guy coming along and
grabbing the party.
But when every nation on both faces
of the globe tries to get into the bat
tie. when there's only standing room
for two. then the price of war is
bound to go up. 1t reduces itself to
mand. II there had been less people
wanting to get into the late obse-
quies the tickets would have been
cheap enough to the original con-
tracing parties. But when the war
spectators discovered that the world
was war mao up went lhe dHee' anu
toward the last of the tournament
you couldn't get a berth even in the
mezzanine balcony for less than a
couple of billion berries.
That's why the war cost America
$40. 900, 600, 900 f1at-simple as an
adding machine.
During the civil war you didn't see
a flock of alien countries coming in
and cluttering UP the parade and
boosting the price of admission. The
outsiders just stood by calmly and let
the bantams go to it, and when the
referee awarded his decision they
gathered up a lot of war souvenirs
and junk and went home.
Same way in the Mexican war and
the revolutionary no stage-door
johnnies hanging around after the
show and none butting in during 1t
and boosting the prices of warfare.
Thirty billion looks like an awful
big drop in the bucket for one coun-
try to separate itself from for only
nineteen months of leading and feint-
ing. but at that the American people
who pad for the big war got more
for their money than the American
people who paid for the Toledo war
Tex Richard says the gate receipts
were $4,000 The fight went three
rounds which made it cost John
American about $4,000 per round or
$50, 200 per punch. All of which
comes under the head Of the high
cost of fighting.
II the league Of nations and the
na.ce treaty are ratified, President
Wilson promises to reduce the tall
cost of tearing at each others threats
TO a whisper. so that tossing rolling
uins and fat irons will be a luxury
which every American household can
afford.
Right here in the dear old capital
the price of war has become almost
prohibitive, and they're trying to raise
the bet cents for encores. Time was
when you could get into six battles
on any six street cars you chose for
two bits. Now, if you want to fight
YOUR way to work in the morning II
costs a nickel straight and 2 cents
additional if you ask for a change Of
venue. The war lords have JUS
asked the allied council at the District
building for cents battle with ne
rebate for arm -stices.
Sherman shouted something!