davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29
Humor.

Humor.
If one has humor in his makeup,
he is a darling child of luck; for all
the troubles life can rake up slide of
like water from a duck. II humor's
in your composition, you laugh where
other fellows swear, and no adven-
ture or condition can fill your bos-
ON with despair. All, me, pity
some poor mortals who cannot laugh
at their own grief; you cannot make
them think that chortles bring to our
troubles quick relief. Tehy're always
prompt to Taught at others, they see
the fun in neighbours cares; they
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

My cuzzin Artie was erround last
mite and me and lin played parchec-
zie and lotto and authors up in the
setting room until ma sed, Its getting
late, Benny, Ant Sue will be getting
anxious about Artie. Ant Sue being
Arties mother, and | sed. She knows
ware he is, ma.
And | know ware he's going, start
ing Immediately, sed pop. Meening
home, and | went down stairs with
him to take him to the frunt door,
and Artie sed, G, tell you lets wat,
let's camelfag our faces with bernt
cork and put the hall lite out and see
if we can see each other in the dark.
WITCH we did, and finding cork out
in the kitchen and berning the end
of it with candle, and we rubbed
it over each other faces till they was
both camelfagged black, and got up
on chair and put the hall lite out
and we stood there seeing if we could
see each other, witch we couldent, and
jest then pop called from the setting
room. Benny, wat the mischief are
you doing there all this time?
WITCH dident anser enything, and
Artie wispered, shh, let's see if he can
see us in the dark. And pritty soon
pop came to the head of the stairs,
saying, Well for the love of Peet, the
halls as black as the inside of hat
Benny, Benny.
WITCH nobody ansered, and pop
started to come down, saying, He
couldn't of gone up to bed very we'll
without me seeing him, this is fun
ny thing.
And he kepp on going down till
he was down, saying, Mitey queer,
mitey queer, mitey queer. And jest
then he bumped into SUMMING, being
me, and | sed, Hello, pop, I'm camel
tagged.
You're COMPOUNDED little nuisance,
you pritty near scared me out of
yeers growth, sed pop, wares that
blasted lite. And he started to wawk
lords it feeling up in the air, and jest
thing he bumped into sumthing elts,
being the chair | climbed up on to
put the lite out.
Owtch, my shin, blast it, ha g it,
this mite be funny in Charlie Chap
lin comedy, but doubt it, sed pop.
And jest then he bumped into sum-
thing elts, being Artie, pop saying,
Wat in the werld did you move over
heer for, or you trying to trip me up
or wat?
That amt me, pop, | sed, and Artie
sed, Its me, Unkle Will, I'm camel
tagged too.
Wat, you still hecr?-well you
wont be mulch longer, sed pop. And
he struck match to put Artie out
by, and wen he saw his face he was
so serprized he berned his fingers and
dropped the match, and Artie ran out
by himself, and I ran up stairs and
wen pop came up was in bed look
ing as if thawt was asleep with my
face still black also the pillo cover,
and pop gave me slaps some place
and told me to get up and wash my
face.
WITCH did.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29
THE SUMMER COTTAGE
COMPLAINT

~0NAA AAFAANA
I'm not the man to grumble and COM
plain,
+ mnot patient and forbearing
through the day;
l never raise my voice against the
rain,
! seldom whine when trobles come
my way.
But, oh, | long for home and all it
means,
This summer cottage life is now a
bore,
Pm tired of eating fish and pork and
beans,
I've grown to hate my bed upon the
floor.
The children now are sleeping three
a-bed,
Poor little tykes that fret and toss
about;
Our guests are wrapped in slumber
overhead,
Nor dream nor care how much
they've put us out.
They call this place a charming, rest
full spot,
And praise the wondrous beauty of
the shore,
I'd rather have the busy town and
hot,
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

I'm tired of sleeping nightly on
the floor.
When one departs another comes to
stay,
Our visitors arrive by boat and
train;
And must row them daily round the
bay
And play the sport and gaily en-
terrain,
While mothers making beds l clean
the fish,
Or go for ice dreary mile or more !;
For home and all it's comforts now |
wish
! do not like my bed upon the
floor.
Come winter, with your bitter winds
and snow,
Come autumn in your garb of red
and brown,
And let US quit this restful place and
go
Back to our bed and bathtub in the
town.
I've had my fill of summer cottage
stuff,
For home today Pm hungry to the
core;
If this is rest, I've really had enough,
Pm tired of sleeing on the floor.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

laugh when they behold their broth
ers go falling down nine flights of
stairs. But there own grief's anoth-
err matter-there's nothing humorous
in that; they hand out grievous
groans and splatter all kinds of tears
around the fiat. It is not humor that
inspires you if you ha-ha at others
woe, while your own trouble only tires
you, and makes the we'll known briny
flow. If you can laugh at your own
troubles, you have true humor
in your heart, and you can look on
woes as bubbles you have a salve
for every smart.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

BUSINESS CHANCES:-- MILLIONS
are suffering with Rheumatism
Most important discovery of the
age. A herb that actually drives
the most stubborn cases of rheu
matism entirely out of the sys.
tenn. People write US and say
they are astonished at the results,
especially on the kidneys. Just
think of the money making posi-
bilities. Representatives wanted.
SLIP pound postpaid, 10 pounds
IS express paid. Rheumatism
Herb Co., Venice. California;. +
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

1t is curious about the Indian He early discovered the
narcotic effects OF tobacco and he dreamed of the
possibilities in until the white man cade and made
re water of It But he might not have been here when
the white came if he had
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

farm bulletin says that spraying the cows will in
crease the flow of milk Leaning up against warm wet
reekng red COW should make dairymans life still more
dream Of joy.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

Thousands admit that abstinence from certain habits
il good for them who never in the world will permit
body else to restrain them from those habits That too
Is human nature
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

Philadelphia, Pa, baper-the Record, to be exact
has discovered that congressman hypocrtes on the
liquor question We always told you Philadelphia could
catch on If you shook her WELL
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

FOR SALE:-Poland Chil,a Pigs, BIZ
type. The Burgess & Son stock
$25 each. Pedigree goes with sale
If interested, see Mark Myers, Rt.;
Greeneville, Tenn. May 6-3 mo
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

1t is question whether America will permanently de-
prve herself of diversion pastme indulgence that
other countries of the world enjoy expect bufghts We
never have been self-denyng people,
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

Somebody's conscience has been hurting The Treas.
ury it was announced recently has received contribu
ton Of $1,000 to the conscience fund The contribution
was anonymous and came from Chicago
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

FOR SALE:-House and lot in East
Greeneville, inside corporate lin
its. Three room house and good
small barn. If interested, Sc me
at once. Edgar Ellenburg.
2-102-6t.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

The elderly man who execrates the smashed flat style
Of hair the young affect forgets the 1870 period when
the youthful masculine mode loop pasted down or
the forehead.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

FOR SALE:--Ford Sedan, in good
condition; 1918 model. See John
Bullen, at City Garage. 2-103-6t.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

There is no hope for the kick in mince pie. Mnce pie
is kicked out. This happened to it once before-under
the reign of Praise God Barebones and his confreres
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

Japan promises ultimately" to satisfy China regard
ing Shntung but China being only 5000 years old and
knowing how time flies, is little urgent
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

They couldn't expect the President to start out imme-
diately his campaigning tour There was the White
House to get reacquainted with
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

II the prince of Wales to visit only Washgtond and
New York. ne should at least get regular American
to tell him something about the United States
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

After reading John Spargos history Of bolshevism we
reach the conclusion that Russia will not settle down to
steady trot in constitutional harness till about 1880
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

fatal flaw in the recipes for "lefovcrs" is the n.y.
pcthess that in these snted times there not going
10 be any left-overs
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

The oudest sound in the world is the laugh your joke
gets when you are speaking from public platform.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

Entered ct the pOstocs at Greensvs Tsnn Is second
class matter.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29

HAY AND STRAW BALED:-We
are prepared to bale hay and straw
with gasoline baler Our charges
are cts. for hay and Z cts. for
straw. Carter & Couch. Greene
vile, Tenn, Route A. 2-97-1Ot.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29
NEWTON c. MYERS & SONS
Meadow Valley Farm, Greene.
vile, Tenn.

Breeders of
Polled Durham and Short Horn
Cattle
Tuberculin Free Accredited Herds.
Kings Lad" a handsome roam
age % months weight 1,10O lbs.
"Cumberland's Type" a smooth
red of fine quality, age 8 months,
weight 700 lbs. "Cumberland's
Prince" dark red, stylish and a
show, age 6 months, weight $50
lbs. These are all high class bulls
and are priced worth the money.
come to see them if in need of a
frst-class bull. Pedigrees with
sales.
The Greeneville daily sun. (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1918-1920, 1919-07-29
Our Cheap Column

A Little Advertisment in this Column
Will Bring Quick Rssults-On.
Cent q Word.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
COMMANDER PERSHING
 PRAISES AMERICAN WOMEN

COBLENZ, March 19- Commander Pershing, while inspecting the hosp, tals of the occupation forces, praised the American women who participat- ed in the war.
 America could not have carried out her part of the program for the conflict if it had not been for the nur- Ses," said Commander Pershing.
 "The nurses willingness and cour- age and support of the women at home, were paramount factors in ths American army's success. Although in the war but a short time, Am erica's medical corps and hospital ser vice was not even exceeded by the oth- CT nations"
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
TERRITORIAL LEGISLATURE
 PASSES PROBATE MEASURE

JUNEAU, March 19- (SpeciaD- The Territorial legislature will inves. tigate through joint committee, the charges relative to probating estates of Princess Sophia victims. The House of Representatives today passed Sen ator John Romans joint resolution pro viding for the investigation. The Sen ate passed the resolution yesterday under suspension of rules. AS com mitteemen on the part of the House of Representatives John Noon. John w. Dunn and James P. Daily have been appointed. The Senate has not named it's representation.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
UND0CUMENTED VESSELS MUST
 BE NUMBERED

In compliance with an act of con gress approved June ', 1918, provid 'ng flat every undocumented vessel operated in whole or in part by ma rhincry, owned in the United States and found on the navigable waters ot he United States, except public veS. sels and vessels not exceeding siXteer 'eet in length measured from end t" md over the deck, excluding she"r temporarily equipped with detacha''N' motors, shall be numbered, and tho customs house is prepared to issue rumb bers to the vessels requiring them.
 The act provides that the numbers be awarded on application of the own or O. master of the boat, shall D" awarded by the collector of customs If the district in which the vessel is owned and record of the numbe" -,nt in the customs house of the f's- trict in which the owner or managing owner resides.
 The numbers are to be not less ir size than three inches and painted or attached to each bow of the vessel in such a manner and color as to be dis tinctly visible and legible. No num- bers not awarded by the collector of customs, however, shall be allowed 10 be carried on the bows of boats. Notice of the destruction or aban- donment of such vessels or change in their ownership shall be furnished within ten days by the owners to tho collectors of customs, however, shall he allowed to be carried on the bows of boats.
 Notice of the destruction or aban- donmnnt of such vessels or change in their ownership shall be furnished within ten days by the owners to the collectors of customs of the districts where the numbers are awarded, ac- cording to the act and vessels sold in- 70 another customs district may be numbered anew in the latter district
 The act provides penalty of S'0 for the violation of any of the provi- sionS in the act for which the vesse' shall be liable and may be seized and proceeded against in the District
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
NEW BOAT
 MAY RUN
 WEST WARD

Dr. Andrew c. Smith has wired the Seward Chamber or Commerce that he is now in San Francisco, rs- gotiating for the purchase of the steamer Unhnak. Dr.. Smith has the mail contract from Kodiak to the west ward but asks the local Chamber what inducement can be made for him to make his Headquarters at Seward, purchase of supplies, secure dockage and also coal fuel. The matter is now being taken up with the local mer- chants and Mir. Weir.
 The steamer UnimaE is craft Iar;- 1T than the Dora, has a speed of nine knots an hour, carries 800 tons of freight and has accomodations for 70 passengers.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
KOREANS IH
 REVOLTS

PEKING, March 19- Advices from Korea indicate that the younger gen eration, stirred by the Paris dispatch es regarding the prominence given their principles of self-determinatioa against the Japanese, are making demonstrations for self-government
 Thousands of students are partici- pating in the demonstrations in Korea md only the lack of arms is believed to have prevented a serious revolt ion. The Japanese allow the Koreans only fowling pieces as arms.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
TERRITORY EXPENSES
 FIXED

Governor Thos. Riggs has furnish ed the legislature with an estimate or appropriations for the biennium ena- ing March 31, 1921.
 The Pioneer Home and pension fund is recommended from Sl07, 300 in 1917 to sl55.O00. The governors office is raised from s7,4S0 in 1917 to slS,Ooo, and the office of the secretary iron. S17.45O in 1917 to SlS,1l0.
 The following is a complete list of the recommendations:
 Pioneers Home sl55,OOO Pensions 5o,oOo Governors office 1s,000 Mine inspection l2,OOO Special legislative expense 200 Dependent children 15,0Oo Secretary's office 1S,1t0 Treasurer 22,ooo Banking Board 1,5oo Health and sanitation 5O,OOO Compulsory school attendance 2,5OO Relief of destitution 15,0OO Expenses of delegates to
 conventions 1000 Counties on wolves 10000 Attorney generals office 23,OOO Iounties on eagles 7,50O Schools in incorporated towns 29O,OO0 Schools outside of IncoI porated
 towns 16O,OOO Uniform school act 1S,oOO Citizenship schools s,OoO Emsroencies 10000 Board of Pharmacy ooo Board of Medical Examiners 5OO Rent of Legislative storage room z'o Extra clerical help for leg
 islature S,ooV Primary elections lZ,Ooo Salaries of assistant com
 missionerS of health S,20O Compiling records of House
 and Senate 3O0 Roads and trails 100000 Publicity Bureau A'fOO betect;on of crime 10000 Rescue and relief of lost
 and missing persons lo,O0U Agricultural College and
 School of Mines S0,S4Q Erection of shelter cabins 10000 Fish hatchery 25,600
 Total N,425,9SO
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
|(I() ] 5

LONDON, March 19-- N&;ioNa'i = ire rioting at Carlo according to dis. atches received today. Six riotcr- lave been killed and 20 wounded 5v he troops which restored order.
 Eleven rioters were killed at Tanta, near Alexandria.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
B0LS ARE
 TRAINING
 AvIAT0RS
By Associated Press

WASHINGTON, March 19- Tn
 Russian Bolsheviki forces are nov training aviators at Moscow. The avi- ators are to drop propogandas over England and France attempting to in cite the people to adopt Bolshevism.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
WILL
 STRENGTHEN
 ]. s. RIGHTS
By Associated Press

PARIS, March 19- Lord Rober' Cecil in an interview with the Britisl and American correspondents today, said that tke inclusion of the Leagu, of Nations into the peace treaty WI not delay its signing, which it is hoped to be accomplished within the neX, two weeks.
 Lord Robert Cecil further said: "I: the Monroe doctrine means what think it does, the League Of Nations will strengthen, rather than weaken t No other nation, despite the League of Nations, has any right to infringe up on the doctrines of others"
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19

President Whittomore, of the Sew ard Chamber of Commerce, amour d today that Q special meeting of tn, organization would bo held tomcrrc" afternoon (Thursday) at o'clock 70 take the above matter up 90 that q wire can be sent to Dr.. Smith. The meeting will be held in the Fire Hal,
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
TROUBLE AT ODESSA

LONDON, March 19- Official re ports received say that the situation in Odessa is critical. There is no con firmation of the rumors that Odessa is being evacuated by the Allied for ses. The report however is not dsRis9,
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
FORMER KAISER SAVING
 TREES ARE SOUVENIRS

ANlERONGEN, March 19- By A. P.- The former Kaiser today sawed his thousandth tree since coming here. The trees are being made into souvcn- iers. The Kaiser's picture was taken showing him as a sawyer.
 It is estimated that the Kaiser has earned S3O since coming here saving trees, according to the union rates.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
TWENTY ALIENS PAROLED

WASHINGTON, March l9- By A. P.-- Secretary of Labor Wilson has granted paroles to 20 aliens of the 54 crs from the west for deportation. Their names are withheld but secret scr. ice men will keep them under va-,h for some time to come.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
CHILEAN VOLCANO HAS
 STARTED ON ERUPTIONS

SANTIAGO, March 19- By A. F. -Ch;le's volcano Calbuco has started erupeions and the inhabitants of Chile and ether nearby towns are fleeing from the ashes and lava. Already r,any fields and houses have been de- stroyed.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
ORDERS GIVEN FOR RETURN
 ID STATES
By Associated Press

WASHINGTON, March 19-- The War Department announces that all units of the Ninety First Division, which includes the majority of the Alaskans, have been assigned to early convoy across the Atlantic and then to their homes.
 Commander Pershing reports that the Forty Second and Rainbow Div ision leaves Brest for New York be. tween March 2S and April 19.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
FISH oUoTAfIoNs

SEATTLE, March 19- Fish quo- tations today noon were as follows:- halibut, fifteen and five eights cents; sable, three cents; ling and red cod, three and one half cents.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19

LONDON, March 10 The Daily Mirror says that there is a feeling ii. strong political and diplomatic circle in favor of inviting Herbert H. As quith, former British Premier, to be come first President of the League of Nations.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
SWITZERLAND WANTS TO
 NAVIGATE ON THE RHINE

PARIS, March 19- By A. P.- The Commission of International Wat erways has favorably reported Swift zerland's request for navigating facil- itieS on the Rhine.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
0N STRIKE
By Associated Press

CLEVELAND, March 19- Four thousand men, all clothing workers, employed in forty factories, struck this forenoon for and increase in wages. The men demand a thirty per cent increase and their work day to be seven and one half hours, also re. cognition of their union.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19

Miss FriSbee has been stenographer in the land office at Juneau for sev- eral years. The young lady succeeds C. B. Walker, who has been transfers l to Portland, Oregon, where he will have charge of the land office at thai city.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
vIL..ll..IA BUSY

here and while the former bandit lead CT was attempting to cross the border to rejoin Villa. According to advices received here, Villa is reported to have started activities again.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19

Three Metlakahtla natives have purchased the store formerly belong. ing to Father Duncan at that place and are selling out the stock.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
53,96O REACH THE U. s.

NEW YORK, March l9- Three of the largest transports in the ser wee, the steamer Harrisburg and Gnu iserS Seattle and Charleston, arrived in port this afternoon bringing 53,- 960 soldiers from Brest.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
GRAND ARMY ENCAMPMENT WILL BE HELD IN JULY AT
 WASHINGTON STATE CITY

WENATCHEE, Wash, March 19- By A. P.- The Grand Army of the < Dablc, northwest division, which in- ules Ala ka, will be held here from u.y l7th to July 20th.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
By AssOciated Press

e. PASO, Tex, March 19- Texas rangers this forenoon arrested Feder- ico Garvannes, former Villa Chief. Tic arrest was made 43 miles south of
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
PLAY FOR CHAMPIONSHIP

SEATTLE. March, 19- By A. P.-- The coast champions will play the Montreal champions this week for the worlds hockey championship.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
IvIALNT FOO D

Cleveland Graf Waldersee and Pre- toria, have already left Hamburg for foodstuffs from the Allies. It is an nounced that the steamers are on their way to the United States.
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19
Associated Pre,s

LONDON, March 19- A dispatch this afternoon from Berlin says that eight German steamships, including the kaiserina, Augusta Victoria,
The Seward gateway daily edition, and the Alaska weekly post., 1919-03-19

Court of the United States in any dis trict in which such vessel may b. found.
 The act took effect six months af. ter its passage,