davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-16
SOMETHING SHORT.

Wifey-I just can't find words to
describe my new bathing suit.
Hubby-Then why not try some
authorizations?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-16
CRUEL WORDS.

He (rapturously) accept
me. Then it's bargain.
She (calmly)-Certainlyl I
should not consider it If it wasn't.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-16
TOO MUCH SACRIFICE.

He-The government calls on
people to be economical in the use Of
paper.
She-Goodness, graciousl And
I've just been engaged
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-16
CENTENARY
Answers:
1--WE ARE
READY"

This space contributed by j. M.
Hunt.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
DIDN'T HELP TO GET CLOSE
Excellent Reason Why Old Gentleman
Could Not Decipher the Let
ters on the Card.

The old man was applying at the eye
hospital for some spectacles and the
doctor was making test of his eyes.
A card was fixed on the wall twenty
feet away from where the old man
was sitting, and the doctor asked him ::
"Can you read that, my man?"
mo- sir" said the old man. Il
can't"
The doctor told him to go nearer.
"Well, can you read it nOw?"
Again the old man replied. "No
sir"
The doctor angrily pulled him for
ward until his nose almost touched the
placard.
"Well, can you read it now?"
'No, SIR" said the old man sadly,
shaking his head. "You see, sir, I
never learnt to read
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
See What He Started.

Struck by the notice, Iron sinks, y
in a shop window wag went inside
and said he was perfectly aware of
the fact that 'iron sank"
Alive to the occasion the smart shop
keeper retaliated:
eyes, and time flies, but wine vaults
sulphur springs, jam rolls, grass slopes
music stands, sheep run, Kent hops
and holiday trips, scandal spreads
standard weights, India rubber tires
the organ stops, the world goes round
trade returns, and"
But the visitor had bolted. After
collecting his thoughts he returned
and showing his head at the doorway
shouted: Yes l know, and marble
busts. Irish World.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
HER ONE PRECIOUS MEMORY
Led Spinster to Dwell on
Kissing Episode.

The spinster waited two or three
hours to be admitted to the presence
of the man who visited their town
once month to retail good advice and
his own proprietary medicine to the
cOme-OnS.
At last she was admitted.
Eyes, yes" said the brusque doctor.
81 want to know if influenza can be
transmitted by kissing?'
Beyond a doubt, madam"
"Well man with pronounced
case of influenza kissed me-"
"So How long ago was this?"
"Well-let's see. / think it, was
about two months ago"
''Why, madam! No harm can come
to you from the exposure. 1t is
quite too late"
II knew it," she sighed, "but just
love to talk about it. Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Marked for Assassination.

San Francisco, Calif-Charles NJ
schwab, Sir Cecil SpringRice, Lord
Fisher of the British admiralty, the
late Lord Kitchener and the British
vice consul at Ensenada, Mexico, were
marked for assassination by agents OF
the German government, according to
sworn testimony given by former First
Lieut.. Wilhelm Won Brincken, formerly
military attache of the German consul
ate in San Francisco to Commissioner
Of immigration Henry M. White OF
Seattle, Wash.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
THE MOST DANGEROUS
OF ALL DISEASES

Get some GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules at once. They are an old,
tried preparation used all over the
old-fashioned, soothing oils combined
with strength giving and system cleans
ing herbs, well known and used by ply
sicians in their daily practice. GOLD
MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules are i'm
ported direct from the laboratories in
Holland. They are convenient to take,
and will either give prompt relief or
your money will be refunded. Ask for
them at any drug store, but be sure
to get the original imported GOLD
MEDAL brand. Accept no substitutes.
In sealed packages. Three sizes.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
"CARRY 0N"!
If Constipated, Bilious
or Headachy, take
"CascaretS"

Feel grand! Be efficient! Don't stay
sick, bilious, headachy, constipated. Re-
move the liver and bowel poison which
is keeping your head dizzy, your tongue
coated, your breath bad and your stom-
ach sour. Why not get small box of
Cascarets and enjoy the incest, gentlest
laxative-cathartic you ever expert
enced? Cascarets never gripe, sicken
or inconvenience one like Salts, Oil,
Calomel or harsh pills. Cascarets bring
sunshine to cloudy minds and half-sick
bodies. They work while you sleep. Adv.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

No organs Of the human body are so
important to health and long life as the
kidneys. When they slow up and com.
mence to lag in their duties, look out
Danger is in sight. :,
Find out what the trouble .is-with-
out delay. Whenever you feel nervous,
weak, dizzy, suffer from sleeplessness,
or have pains in the back, wake up at
once. Your kidneys need help. These are
signs to warn you that your kidneys
properly. They are only half doing
their work and are allowing impurities
to accumulate and be converted into
uric acid and other poisons, which
are causing you distress and will de-
stroy you unless they are driven from
your system.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Another Cousin?

A little Angeleno boy had spent sew
eral weeks in the East where several
families of cousins lived who were
very fond of him and consequently
had done many nice things to make his
visit pleasure.
A few nights after his return home
when his mother was getting him
ready for bed, she was telling hin
about God and how good He was tC
him, when the little boy interrupted:
"Say mother, is God cousin, toO?'
Los Angeles Times.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Mob Two Negroes.

Montgomery, Ala. - Two negroes,
Miles Phifer and Robert Crosby, the
latter discharged soldier, were taken
from the county officials about five
miles from Montgomery and shot to
death by a mob of about twenty-five
masked men. Both negroes were
charged with having assaulted white
women. The two negroes were being
taken to the state prison at Wetumpka
for safe keeping when the mob held up
the automobile carrying them.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Painters Hard Luck.

A painter at work on water tank
at Buhl, Minn., foresaw a catastrophe
when cow began to scratch her back
on the bottom of the ladder and start.
ed to come down. That frightened the
cow and she ran her horns through
the lower rungs Of the ladder and
started off in gallOp, carrying the
ladder, painter, paint and all. The
louder he yelled the faster the COW
travelled. 1t was but short ride fol
the painter, who struck the ground
uninjurcd, but the cow carried the lad
der for a quarter of mile.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Physicians Order Rest.

Washing ngton-Under an absolute
President Wilson began the vacation
which has been prescribed as a cure
for his attack of nervous exhaustion
SO thorough vii! be the effort to pre-
vent him from doing any work that he
will not be permitted to see any of the
Senate leaders in charge of the fight
for ratification of the peace treaty.
White House officials believe it essen
tial that this subject be put entirely
aside.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Nav Overthrow BoIsheviki.

Washington.-The Russian soviet
government is prepared to negotiate
for peace on terms that include the de-
rarture of the Bolshevist leaders from
Russia and the overthrow of the soviet
system, according to official advices
received here which are credited with
an authoritative character.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Accept California" Syrup of Figs
only-look for the name California on
the package, then you are sure your
child is having the best and most harm
less laxative or physic for the little
stomach, liver and bowels. Children
love it's delicious fruity taste. Full
directions for child's dose on each bot
tie. Give it without fear.
Mother! You must say California"
ADV.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Expensive Pet.

"There's an atmosphere Of wealth
about this home" "Do you judge from
the size of the house, the ample garage
in the rear, the maid sweeping down
the front steps and gardener busy
on the lawn?" mo, l judge by the
size of the dog on the veranda. Any
body who can afford to feed a Great
Dane these days must have plenty of
money" y."-Birmingham Age Herald.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
LONDON IS
ON RAT|0NS
COMPLETE TlE-UP LEAVES ENG.
LAND WITH SHORT FOOD
SUPPLIES.
FOURTEEN WEEKS FOOD
GOVERNMENT CONSIDERS sITUA.
TlON WELL IN HAND, is
REPORT.
Western Newspaper Union News Service


Washington, Sept. 3O.-Shipping in
American ports, so far as it concerns
shipping board vessels with cargoes
consigned to ports of the United King
dom, are at standstill because of
the strike of British railway workers.
Suspension of the sailings of all YES
sells under it's control to ports of Eng
land, Scotland, Ireland and Wales has
been announced by the shipping
board through the making public Of
an order issued when the railroad
strike became a certainty.
The shipping board, it was ex-
planned, ordered sailings suspended
following receipt of information from
it's representatives in England as to
conditions in the ports there and after
the issuance of the British order pro-
hibiting the furnishing of bunker coal
to any ships other than outbound Brit
iSh vessels.
While shipping board vessels allO-
Gated to the United Kingdom trade
constitute only about one-half of the
American tonnage. engaged in that
trade, the congestion of ports result
ing from the strike and the British
bunker coal order are expected to stop
eventually, should the strike continue,
the sailings of all American craft to
the British isles.
Shipping board officials refused to
comment on the effect the suspensions
would have on the gradual accumula-
ton and resultant congestion Of goods
at Atlantic and Gulf ports.
LOndOn.-LOndOn is now facing
stricter food ratiOning than for year.
Regulations which were winked at
even before the armiStice, when sup
plies started coming in in larger guam
titles, have been clamped down hard
on all kinds of meats and butter and
sugar. Cured meats which were only
slightly rationed during the war to-
day were placed in the same category
as other meats. Fish was not placed
under the ratiOning edict, but the lack
of transportation is affecting the
supply.
1t is roughly estimated that there
is fourteen weeks food supply i'll
the country, if it is conserved. Res
taurants have eliminated butter from
their menus and restricted bread to
one roll per meal. The familiar min
iature war steaks. again are in evil
dence.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Des Moines Holds Hog Show.

Des Moines, Iowa.-Hogs valued at
more than $1,5OO,0OO were in the pens
for the first day of the fourth annual
swine show and exposition here. One
boar, Grand Models Equal in the aged
hoars' class, is dead. He was owned
by Thomas Robinson of independence,
Iowa, and was insured for $1,000.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Footpad-ls this all the n.oLey
you've got?
Smth-Yes. but that's enough to
send you to prison
Footpad-Here, take it back. 1t amt
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Bride Runs Away.

Some time ago l attended the wed"
ding of my cousin. 1t was quiet at
fair, the pastor coming to the homA'
When he was just about to pronounce
them man and wife the bride began
to cry and ran into the other ROOM
The groom followed her sayings 8
"Mary, he isn't through yet"
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
After ThIrtv-Four Years.

A Bath man has just received dvi-
dend checks from some shares of a
silver mine which he bought "a years
ago and had forgotten all about. A
friend who remembered the purchase
told him of a notice in some paper
that the mine was about to pay IT'S
first dividend and he began to cut
cOulons.-Grit
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Watch Cuticura improve Your Skin.
On rising and retiring gently smear
the face with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off Ointment in five minutes
with Cuticura Soap and hot water. It
is wonderful sometimes what Cuticura
will do for poor complexions, dandruff,
itching and red rough hands.-Adv.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Anain Peace on Earth.

"Jones doesn't believe in promoting
the good old idea of Peace on earth
and good will toward men," what
makes you think so?" "He has bought
his son a cOrnet."
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Chapter |.

''There was once a merderer with
yellow eyes, and his wife .caid to him: !:
If you merder me you will be hung
And he was hung on Tuesday next
FiniS."-BOOkman
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Widows Must Not Remarry.
In Korea widows never remarry.
Even though they have been married
only a month they must not take
second husband.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Reflections of a FIatterer.

Odd that we should call it a dumb
waiter when it tells us what everyone
else in the house is talking about
Boston Transcript.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Fifteen million is the average daily
attendance at movie shows" in the
United States.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Love realizes it's blindness shortly
after the marriage ceremony.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Airy Persiflage.

can aviator lives high"
"Oh, 1 don't know; only one flight
up."
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

When in need of good line of talk
patronize telephone company.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Some people do odd things for the
purpose of getting even.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
only Popularity Worth While.

/ wish popularity; but it is that
popularity which follows, not that
which is run after-it is that popu-
slarity which sooner or later never fails
ITO do justice to the pursuit of noble
ends by noble means.-Lord Mansfield.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Getting Together.

"How do you meet the high cost OF
livingY you are not supposed to
meet it. 1t overtakes you"
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

! Persons not vaccinated are not per-
mitted to vote in Norway.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Use for Fat Ones.
'And that stout son Of yours. What
is he doing?"
ooh, he's hammock tester"
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

Begin to educate your grandchil-
dren by educating yourself.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04
Wise Men

and women are having their
old garments dyed instead Of
buying new ones. We do sue
cessful dyeing, also cleaning.
The Model Cleaners and DyerS
1917 BROADWAY, DENVER, COLO.
The Benson signal., 1919-10-04

One Test of a Vacation.
A vacation is success if the vaca'
ZIONIST comes back with the conscious
ness that work is an easy job.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1919-01-01
SOLDIER BOY
TAKES BRIDE
sergt Clarence A. Bowling Of near
Denison and Miss Cerana EWoldt
Of Manning, Are Welded. u
REV. j. /. BOYD oFFlciATEs
Young Man Has Fine Record. az .
Soldier Being Particularly Fitted
to Train Men for Service.

The marriage Of Miss Cerana Ewoldt
and Sergt. Clarence A. Bowling oc-
Cured at the home, of the groom's par
.ehts Mr.. and Mrs. A. ]. Bowling who
reside near Denison, on Monday at
ternoon, December 3Oth, at 3 o'clock
Rev J. L. Boyd, pastor OF the Metho-
dist Episcopal church performed the
ceremony, which was attended by only
the immediate relatives.
The bride was becomingly gOwned
in charmeuse dress OF raspberry
shade and looked charming. The bride
lis the daughter Of Mr.. and Mrs. Henry
Ewoldt Of Manning, Iowa. For several
years she made her home in Denison
and it was while here that she first
met the man Of her choice. She is
young lady of pleasing personality aud
mas many friends in this community.
# Sergt. Bowling was reared in this
community and attended the public
schools Of Denison. For several years
he assisted his father on the farm
south of Denison. At the first call for
volunteers, Clarence enlisted in the
National Guards on April 8, 1917, and
was stationed at Ida Grove where he
was a member of Company B of the
End Iowa Infantry Later he was trans
fered to Camp Cody where he remain
ed for almost a year when ne was
again transferred in March, 1918, to
Gettysburg, Pa, where he was promOt-
ed to the rank Of sergeant and was
among 213 men who made up the first
tank corps. While at Gettsburg he
assisted in the training of seven bat
talions for overseas service, 1t was q
source Of great regret to Clarence that
he was unable to see action In France
but it seemed that he was peculiarly
fitted to train men in this particular
branch of the service and was retain
ed here for that purpose. He received
his honorable discharge December s.
|1918 His record while In the service
lis deserving of cOmmendati ion.
Following the ceremonial sumptuOus
three course dinner was served. The
dining room was appropr iately decQra-
ted in pink and white, carnations and
ferns, forming the center piece of the
table. I \, 4 SD
The young couple will remain here
for few days before leaving for Sioux
City where they will make their fu-
ture home. Clarence has secured q
position with the Chicago & North
Western railway as fireman.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1919-01-01
Who died in infancy. Russell and Mer-

rill.
Mr. Nicholson was an advocate OF
Masonic principles and endeavored to
embody in his life the benevolent and
charitable spirit of the craft. His
was with the Sylvan
Lodge No. 5e7 A. F. & A. M. of Deni-
son; Ark Chapter, r. A. M. Of Dunlap,
Mount Zion Commandery, X T. of
Harlan, Iowa, and Zagazig Temple of
Mobiles of the Mystic Shrine of Des
Moines. He also was a member of
the knights OF Pythias Lodge. Politi-
cally a republican, he served for about
IL years as a member of the city coun-
Gil, exercising his official perogatives
in support of many measures and
for the general good. For
more than twenty years he has served
as member of the school board and
the cause Of education always found
him warm friend. He was chairman
OF the county central committee for
two years. Mr.. Nicholson made a sue
cess in life by following the princi-
pies OF industry, energy, perseverance,
and close application. He held the
respect and esteem of everyone in the
community. The home life of Mr..
Nicholson was IDEAL He was kind and
loving as husband and father and his
greatest pleasure was when among
his loved ones.
Arrangements for the funeral had
not been completed this afternoon. The
funeral will probably be held Thurs
day afternoon at the home and inter-
ment will be made in Oakland ceme-
terry.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1919-01-01
md forming many delightful friend

Her death can but mean great loss
and deep sorrow of heart to her loved
ones and her many friends. She leaves
to mourn her death, her greatly be-
|reaved husband, her father and moth
|er, Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Huckstep, two
brothers, Perry and Homer Huckstep,,
|of Deloit twin sister Ethel, now
Mrs Tracy North of Vail, and many
other relatives and friends.
The sorrowing ones have the gen.
uine sympathy Of a large circle of old
friends and neighbors in this time OF
such grief and loss.
Funeral services were held at the
Bartcher Chapel in Denison Saturday
afternoon at 1880 O'Clock, Rev. ]. u.
Boyd pastor of the Methodist EpiSco-
pal church officiating after which in
terment was made in Oakland Gene
terry.
i cannot say, will not say,
That she is dead. She is just away.
With CHEEKY smile and wave OF the
She has wandered into an unknown
land. W
And left us dreaming how very fair,
II Heeus HluSt pe s1ACe SuS AiAsols
+ there. q. IL
And you, oh you, who the widest
yearn,
For the oldtime step and the glad
return,
Think of her faring on, as dear,
In the love Of there, as the love Of
here,
Think Of her still as the same, say,
She is not dead, she is just away.
James Whitcomb Riley.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1919-01-01
COUNTY FARM
BUREAUS meet
Meeting Held In MarshalItown on De-
cember 22d, for Forming State
Wide Federation in Iowa.
|JAcoB WEISS REPRESENTATIVE
Over One Hundred Farmers in Atten-
dance-Farmers Handicapped by
Packers and Markets Today.

Seventy Of the County Farm
Bureaus Of Iowa were represented at
a meeting held in Marshalltown, De-
cember 22nd, for the purpose Of effect
ing a state wide federation This
meeting was in reality the elimination
OF we'll organized effort on the part
Of a few Of the county farm bureaus
which have for sometime been pro-
noting astate wide organization.
The Iowa Farm Bureau Federation
Is OF Importance to the rural people Of
Iowa. The object Of this federation is
to effectively organize advance and i'm
prove in every way possible, the agri-
cultural interests of the great common
wealth Of Iowa, economically, educa-
tionally and socially, through the uni
ted efforts of the County Farm Bur-
eaus OF the state. Like the County
Farm Bureaus, the state federation Of
Farm Bureaus is not a political or a
commercial organization.
Mr.. Jacob Weiss Of Denison repre-
scented the Crawford County Farm
Bureau at the MarshalltoWn meeting.
Mr.. Weiss reports that over hundred
farmers were in attendance. Farming
in Iowa is a business enterprise of
large proportions and farmers must
adopt business methods if they are to
succeed. Most Of the men present
were farmers who know farming as a
business, declared Mr.. Weiss.
County Agent Quist believes that
the Federation Of Farm Bureaus will
be protection for the farmers during
the reconstruction period. Today the
farmer is handicapped by uncertain
future markets. He is largely at the
mercy OF the packers and terminal
grain merchants. Getting farm pro-
ducts to the markets Is another prob
lem OF the farmers, and one which can
be solved only by the united efforts
OF the farmers. Friday Mr.. Lnmann
from near Kiron called at the Farm
Bureau Office. He had just returned
from Chicago. Mr.. Linmann had a.
car: pf cattle and a car of hogs on tae
market Thursday. The car Of hogs
however had been shipped over a week
ahead OF the cattle, yet Mr.. Linmann
saw both loads sell the same day. OBJ
tanning cars for shipping grain has
been impos sible in several sections and
this has been a loss to the farmers.
While it is realized that transpOrta-
tion. has been disorganized because
OF the war there has been little