Connecticut western news., 1919-09-18
PEANUT POLITICS
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS
COMBINE THEIR TICKETS

In view of the fact that there is
more or less anxiety among the can
didates for office at the coming cleo
ton, our cub reporter has kept his
ear pretty close to the ground. A
man with his ear to the ground would
naturally imply inactivity, but such
is not true in this case as we shall try
to prove.
Our reporter has been pestered
almost to death by candidates on
both tickets wanting free advertising
and mostly information as to how
the other fellows chances of winning
look. The result is that both the
reporter and the candidate have
worked themselves into fever and
if any of them are elected, the
chances are they won't be able to
serve until after they take cure"
at the East Canaan chemical COM
pany or at some of our famous
springs with the same delightful
odor.
Realizing the seriousness of the
situation, our leading politicians put
their heads together and agreed to
put only one ticket in the field and
caucus was held about 1890 Satur-
day night in the rear of Dempsey's
drug store. 1t was unanimously
agreed by the vast crowd present
that in order to show no partiality
whatever to the followers of either
the donkey or the elephant, that j. B.
Reed and E. S. Roberts both be
elected moderators. When this mo-
ton was put to vote the only dis
senting voice was that of Henry
Scutt, who was promptly chloroform-
ed by doc" Dempsey with the re
mark that he was going to see for
once how barber acted when he had
to keep his mouth shut.
"Now, gentlemen, said our VEN
cradle moderators in unison, ''we
have decided that nominations will
not be permitted from the floor.
Therefore we have prepared a ticket
that must meet with your approval
and if any of you don't like it, let
him hold his peace and join the pro-
hibitionists."
The ticket, so far as read was as
follows:
Assessor-Edward Ostrander.
Board of Relief-Henry Lynch.
Selectman-Gene Root.
Town Clerk-Seneca Strong.
II object, said Lou Rhoades,
Ito having >Axehandle for assessor,
because you all know he's worked
at different times for some of our
biggest taxpayers and the chance for
future employment might be an in
ducement to underestimate the value
of their property. Furthermore,
while visiting at Winsted he received
pressing invitation from the State
to spend the winter at Litchfield and
Ed. said he couldn't refuse"
you've got a good man in Hen
Lynch for the Board of Relief, but
I object to Gene Root for selectman",
said Bob PIERCE.
"Any man that runs a farm and
sells his natural fertilizer ought to
make an economical selectman, l
should think" remarked Mr.. Reed.
"Well, that may be so'', continued
Mr.. Peirce, "but you see Gene is a
little absent-minded. Why you know,
one of our coolest days last winter he
raced his horses all the way to Bor-
den's and stood in line for an hour
and when it came his turn he found
he'd forgotten to bring his milk
along"
"You argue then, that Gene might
forget to do some work or other
necessary repairing?" said Mr..
Roberts. "Well, maybe you're right,
but he wouldn't be any worse than
some we've had"
eff you men kick on that ticket,
you'd kick on anything, said the
moderator, "and 1 move we adjourn
and hope the democrats trim you Just
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