Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1919-07-24
How Europe Wa. Made
Safe for Royalty
IQovyright. 1911. Western Newspaper union.l
By OSCAR cox

whose territory consists Of only few
square miles. The prince being of the
blood royal and an associate on equal
terms with the other sovereigns of Eu-
rope, was required to keep up their
style though he did it on an infinitely
sm,tll scale. He had one general, one
judge, one executioner. His army con-
sisted of hundred men divided into
ten companies consisting of ten men to
d company. Everything else was on
Irorortionate scale. But the general.
except when on duty, was butcher;
the judge the only policeman in the
principally, and the soldiers were
laborers. The executioner was the
rarson officiating over the little church
20 by 80 feet in area, one-third Of
which Is taken up by the royal pew.
The parson was meek little man in
competent to decapitate a chicken.
All worked well in the principallty
for many years. There were no crimi-
nails to try, or to punish, the prince
spent his time visiting his royal rela-
tives, so that his living was provided
for, and the people. who were taxed
only to provide for the royal pocket
money, were happy.
Then suddenly came trouble. The
general Of the army was caught in the
act Of treason. A neighboring king,
whose territory consisted of many mill
lions of square miles. wanted the prin-
cipality for pasture for his cows,
and bribed the general Of the prince
for consideration, to let down the
bars of the fence inclosing the prince
ly territory, and admit the kings army
without resistance ON the part Of the
princes forces. The plot being dis
covered In time, the other European
sovereigns frowned upon 1t and
stopped 1t. Had it been carried
through they would have held con-
ference and in order that the peace Of
Europe might not be disturbed would
have winked at 1t. As 1t was, the only
action required was to try the general
for high treason and cut Off his head
But the Judge, who, it has been said.
-
about law and was incapable Of con-
Quoting a trial. The prince got over
the difficulty by ordering trial behind
closed doors; and when they were
opened a warrant was produced BY
which the general was condemned to
death. 1t was taken to the prince. who
signed it. and the pen with which he
affixed his royal signature was sent to
the sovereign Of the most powerful en-
pire as a token that Imperialism was
absolute ia the principally.
It remained now only to carry out
the sentence by beheading the general
A meeting Of the privy council was
held, at which 1t was unanimously
agreed that the executioner could not
be relied upon to carry out the sem
tence and the members deliberate6
what was to be done In thcepremises.
One suggested that the general, being
q butcher, was Ear better fitted to cut
of his own head than the executioner,
who was parson. WhereupOn another
member suggested that the two be sur
peptitiOusly made to change places ana
the butcher be made to cut or the
head of the parson. This would sat
lsfy the powers.
But the prince, who was just SOW
eFeign would not hear Of such nefa-
rious deed, and dismissed the council.
saying that he would lay plan for
carrying out the sentence himself. Un-
tn such time Us he could find an exc
curioner he would take tie generals
parole and reledse him from confne-
ment. The general willingly gave his
word not to leave the principally and
the next morning was to be seen peace
fully swinging his cleaver in his
butcher shop.
Now the king of that country who
desired the principally for his cow
pasture-remembe that this story has
been censored and all names have been
deleted- that the general was
engaged at his usual business sent a
deputation to the prince to protest
against such fragrant omission Of a
royal duty to punish treason, repre-
1 SIZZLING tuul IL ouNh AChASh~J WSAS
practiced by The crowned heads Of Eu-
rope the world would at last be cursed
with all the horrors Of democracy.
To this the prince replied that rather
than see this he would consent to the
massacre of every one Of his subjects.
The leader Of the deputation replied
to this that IL the prince so desired his
royal master would send his own exc
cutioner to decapitate the general.
A few days later the kings execu-
toner arrived. His guard Of honor
numbered I'VE hundred men armed
with the most deadly implements OF
modern warfare. They took the gen
eral from his shop and the kings exc
cutioner dispatched him. Then the
prince was shot down. and when the
executioners were finished there was
not human being left in the princi-
pality.
The executiOner, attended BY his
guard, went back. to the king, who
asked him IL he had acceded to the re-
quest Of his royal cousin, and the exc
| cutioner assured him that he had done
| his work SO well that the principally
was now ready for his majesty's COW
pasture.
Il Z. (. II. Ia.