Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-06-08


II up. The Rambler often finds it
easier and LASER to hitch one mar
Tative onto another than to write
an independent introduction to each.
This not only saves time. but spares
the patience Of readers. The Rambler,
like all other men. is an excessively
vain person. and IL he were not afraid
Of offending his brethren in trousers
he would rewrite that clause and
extremely conceited person" But that
would never do. because 1t would be
betraying a secret which men strive
hard to keep from each other, and a
secret which they all strive hard to
keep from women-but which they
do not.
But the Rambler is not so conceit-
ed AZ to feel that the many thousands
of persons who read these lines care
written. or care a hang or a hurrah--
and all that-about the name of the
fellow who writes them. Some of the
poorest stun printed in magazines
and newspapers bears the name of
the author and is accompanied by his
picture. The name may not be the
real one Of the culprit, but the fact
that the story is signed and illus
trated by the authors" picture
makes 1t look more important and.
therefore, leads more hapless read
ers to wade through its dry length
which. by the way. is a rotten bit of
writing. for how can any reader
"waAe" through something that is
dry?
What the Rambler had in mind
whom he rambled the foregoing para
graph was that readers do not follow
him for his hne writing. Some fol-
low him for his fine walking, though,
honestly. he sometimes writes ten
miles Of narrative after a one-mile
walk. However. most people read him
for ancestors-that Is, for dead ances-
tors. Live ancestors are not in strong
demand BY descendants, because live
ancestors are seldom aristocratic and
usually poor. while dead ancestors
were always aristocratic and were al
ways very rich and generally other
wise distinguished. The thought often
comes to the Rambler. as he meets
the descendants Of aristocratic ances-
tors, how merciful 1t 10 for those an
cestors that they are dead! II there
10 anything in the theory that blood
will tell" the Rambler. after looking
over many aristocratic descendants. is
forced to the conclusion that there
must have been some very homely and
ordinary ancestors. Either that or
some descendants must have had a
long and hard descent
A few lines above the Rambler
gently insinuated that men are vain.
He arrives at that conclusion after
long acquaintance with that logical
sex which wears rubber suspenders.
coats, vests and tall starched collars
In summer, but which does not wear
furs In dog days. 1t would not be fair
to the young men of this town to
write that they are vain without pro-
ducing some evidence to support the
charge. and he means to do it even il
1t delays him in getting past the lit
10 AIAiuc CuuICH Oh tne rlOSe. some
time ago the Rambler went into a
barber shop-and how long ago that
was Ia none of your business-and
this was the line of the BARRIERS talk:
A lady's hairdressing parlor isn't in it with
. barber shop when you want to know about
the weakness Of human nature, and especially
the weakness Of man nature. Study it your
self. Look at the man who il getting his hair
cut, with one Of our manicure girls sitting by
him hxng up his finger nails. Look at the
stnpering smile on his face while he Is taking
some idiotic stun TO the girl! She is not pref
u. but she's . woman, and that fellow thinks
he 10 making hit with her. It's q habit with
him and others. He thinks he has Just got to
make an Impression. Perhaps the girl encour-
ages him. She 10 used to that line of talk
hears 1t from almost every man she primps IN
and she has to act As though she is pleased.
It's good business. II she should tell the Eel.
low that he IL q saphead he would get sore
and never come into the shop again. And II
she drove OF every saphead we'd have to close
the shop.
Take that fellow over there getting q facial
nassage-electric vibration, hot towels. cold
cream. and such. He il fighting Oh the lines
that years are putting in his face. He il try
ing to stave on old age Just as every woman
does. Mind you, I'm not saying II Ia wrong:
I'm only pointing out that men are vain. IT'S
An T.