The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1919-06-27
"HOWDY, MR.. BUTTERMILK!"

"HOWDY, MR.. BUTTERMILK!"
2 UGH is THE CAPTION over spirited ed
, toral in the Miami District Daily News
he sprightly exponent of all things excellent il
he Oklahoma zinc and lead capital, otherwis
Ottawa, the county that Jack built Ottaw
county is the last stop on the journey to Joplin
No.. which is the last stand of the shattered
ninons of Gen. John Bareycorn, field marsha
If hell on earth. Our Miami friend is justi
led in proclaiming the advent of Mr.. Butter
milk, inasmuch as his proximity to Joplin rem
iers him peculiarly ripe, so to speak, for ;
sudden and somewhat severe change in bever
lges. Let us hear his whole greeting to th
,eneficent arrival expected next Tuesday, fo
t is a prose-poem par excellence, to-wit:
Buttermilk is going to be the great ma
tional drink in future. You can't stop it.
Milk is a natural food 1t is heathful
and invigoratng, minus the regrets Of
the morning after. Buttermik promises
to be more than a drink 1t threatens to
become an institution, sweep over the
country like the bolsheviki have overrun
Russia. But the effects will be so differ
ent If buttermilk is to be the American
bolsheviki, let it come; give it full sway.
Buttermlk, as one of our near-great
statesmen of the past could attest, is one
of the best drinks made. Indiana once fur
nished us with a vice president who was
an ardent supporter of the buttermlk
producer and the churn trust. Butter
milk Charlie" Fairbanks was no flash in
the political pan, but he was ahead of the
times when he tried, several years ago,
when doing one-night stands on the chau-
tauqua circuit, to make buttermlk the ma
I,,.,1 Wat. larA
another beverage famous, but when it
comes to choosing between the two it is
the buttermilk route for Miami.
Automobiles, Fastening to an oasis
thirty miles east of this city, have kept
the roads in state of dsrepair. Dust
clouds were to be seen everywhere, but
after next Tuesday this oasis will be as dry
as a sponge and weeds will grow in the
middle of the roads. After that date, too,
every man who feels bump on his back
will imagine he is evoluting into a camel,
only he expects to exceed the speed limit
of the animal whose hump is of secondary
consideration, when you realize he can go
for eight days without drinking. 1t has
come to period in our national existence
when, unless we can afford trip to Cana
da or Mexico, we must drink buttermilk
must learn to disport ourselves minus the
Joy water.
But as long as we have daily showers
and succulent pasturage for cattle in Of
tawa county there is no danger of a short
age of buttermilk Every family can have
a COW and churn of its own. No house
hold will be complete without one, and we
are expected to grow rich and wax fat
and strong on this most healthful of all
beverages.
Good night John Barleycorn-good
morning, Madame Cow.
Thus, as above, doth Melowed Miami be-
eak sad farewell to Joyless Joplin. Fare
ELL, long farewell, to all thy wetness!" to
raphrase a familiar quotation. The little
onoun in the tai-end is changed from first
third person in delicate Difference to the
teemed editorial writer of the Miami News.
10 is known wide and far as the original pro-
)itionist.