davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

Some men are such good spouters that you would imagine a common or dinary whale would feel ashamed of himself and hide his head.
 One of the few things we know about matrimony is that the man who hasn't patience enough to answer a lot of foolish questions should stay single.
 It doesn't hurt to tell the truth once in while. If mans wife smoked a cigar every time he smokes one. he would do an awful lot of squawking about expenses.
 Even with prohibition in effect it is wonderful how a married man can feel at home most any place but home.
 In a lot of homes where the front door mat says Welcome" the head of the house makes the man of the house use the back door when he enters.
 We often wonder what would hap pen to bank if the president and the cashier wrote their signatures so that they could be read. We do not believe that yarn that pro- hibition has increased the consumption of ice water It takes a hangover to make man put a dent into a two-gal- lon jug of ice water.
 The big-headed man who worries
 
 along when he leaves it forgets that the world managed to get along before he came into it.
 Han is a contrary cuss. He is never anxious to get up in the morning un- less the doctor orders Nm to stay in bed.
 Some married men are like rabbits. They are meek because they know 1t wouldn't do them a bit of good to have a mean disposition.
 You do not need menu card when you go into some restaurants. You can look at the table cloth and see what is being served that day.
 We don't blame the returned sol diers for rearing up and acting peev- ish. Wed get sore too if we went over there and won the war and were sent back home because the war was over and there was no fighting to do, and got home in time to face six months of 'war-time" prohibition that became effective six months after the war ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
TWENTY YEARS AGO
 IN THE AGE-HERALD
Events recorded July 20, 1898.

Secretary of War Alger has rendered his resignation to President Mckinley. to take effect August 1. Rumors of differ ences between the President and the Sec retary of War have been current for sometime.
 The Alabama Consolidated Coal and Iron company was incorporated at New ark. N. J., yesterday. with a capital of $. .ooo,00
 Acting Chairman Wi.iiam J. Stone will call the democratic national committee to order at 10 o'clock :nis morning, in Chicago. William J. Bryan will prob- ably sit as delegate. It is reported that Tammany is planning a fight on the Nebraskan. Henry D. Clayton, John w. Tomlinson and Robert J. Lowe are the Alabama committeeman.
 Among other presidential booms men toned is that of Admiral Dewey, but it is not believed that he will allow his name to be used.
 The state fair movement was fairly launched at joint meeting of the Con- mercial club and boar; of trade commit tees held yesterday It was unanimously decided that the state rair should be re- vivsd and made permanent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

the horticultural displays will be a revelation.
 Last year the fair was cut short by the influenza epidemic. The gates were closed after the second day. This, of course, was distinct disap- pointment to exhibitors and visitors alike, to say nothing of the fair asso- citation, which was a heavy loser.
 But it could not be helped. The as- sociation met it's losses without word Iof complaint and went to work with characteristic pluck to lay plans for even a better fair in 1919.
 The influenza is gone and there will be nothing to interfere with this years event. Let every prospective exhibitor arrange to have what he or she has to display installed day or two ahead of the opening date.
 Many improvements have been made in the matter of buildings and visitors will be agreeably surprised at the att tractive appearance of the grounds. President R. A. Brown and the direc- tors have a right to expect record breaking gate receipts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
% * *
Not One, But All
 Defeated Germany

MMOST of the leaders who were
 GVO conspicuous in the world war have had an opportunity to say who won it. Quite naturally Marshal Foch considers that France deserves much, : if not all, of the credit for defeating Germany. Marshal Haig delivered speech the other day in which he for got to mention the Americans and 'afterward hastened to explain that he was talking about that period of the , war before America became one of the belligerents.
 } President Wilson and General Pershing are convinced that the war would have been lost without America. 7 Italy is not loath to take some credit for having had a hand in the pro- .ceedings and Belgium knows that in the early states of the struggle she played heroic part in upsetting the German military machine. There is little praise for Russia, yet the Rus sians fought gallantly and success , fully until their morale was destroyed and their government crumbled.
 As matter of fact, there is honor enough for all. In heroic sacrifice . Belgium was not surpassed by any of the belligerents. France bore the brunt of German attacks while Bri- tain was "muddling along" and rais- . ing an army. Russia forced Germany to use a vast army and some of her ablest leaders on the eastern front and came very near deciding the war. Italy kept the troops of Austria Hun gary hotly engaged and protected the 'back door" to France, not, however, < without suffering severe reverses.
 The British navy perfected a block ade which finally throttled Germany and when England's citizen soldiers went into the field by the millions they fought shoulder to shoulder with the French and won new glory for the British empire. Furthermore, it was the British who soundly thrashed the Turks.
 But with all the heroism of British, French Italians and Russians, the war would have been lost had America stayed out We struck the blow that finished Germany, and history will so declare
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

head waiter politely informed a stockingless young woman in New York restaurant that she could not be served The rest of her attire indicat- ed that she was not trying to econom- ize.
 A Montreal man got a shave and hair cut the other day for the first time since 1870. He swore he'd never have his hair cut until Alsace- Lorraine was redeemed from Prussia.
 # < * The alert New York World tried to find out how many members of the House had liquor stored in their cellars. Needless to say. little accurate infor- nation was obtained.
 j. # x Any tightfisted captain of industry will tell you that Henry Ford is an ignorant idealist,'' Hasn't he made s7 a day the minimum wage for Ford employees?
 # * # A Dutch baroness served as domes tic in the home of an American family to study sociology The chances are 100 to 1 that she didn't make good as a domestic
 If MT. Dempsey parts company with his manager just when the money has begun to roll in, there will be another hard luck story to tell in sporting cir cles
 We still contend that the best prohi- bition joke so far is this one: "The man who invented near-beer was a poor judge of distance"
 4 $ v The departure of Uncle Sam's great fleet to the Pacific probably has no particular bearing just now on the Jap- anese question
 The Deutschland will go into a mn. oSuhi, ana meets better fate than most of the U-boats which went to Dayy Jones' locker
 ;. # * great light seems to be breaking on Senators summoned to the White House for a heart to heart talk with Woodrow
 * * x Persons who thought Raisuli was dead and buried are surprised to see him bob up in print again.
 * *
 That free verse" poet who says he 'felt the long hair of the wind" has q remarkable sense of touch.
 x * * Senator sherman may look like Lin coin. but the resemblance goes no far ther.
 E x In the course of time the air flivyer will be equipped with a rumble seat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
# Y !. Varied Exhibits For the State Fair

ID BIRMINGHAM will have a great lD State Fair in October, from the sixth to the twelfth, inclusive, and every farmer should be represented by one or more exhibits.
 Alabama has advanced in a marked degree in crop diversification. Among the southern states it leads in that respect. Every crop can be produced here at profit, and the breeding of live stock is fast adding wealth to the individual and to the state.
 Within the past three years wonder ful strides have been made in the growing of swine and cattle and finer exhibits of stock than ever before will be expected this fall. Liberal prizes for orchard products are offered and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
There Is n Reason

Tt is surprising the number of cor pcrations and new business enterprises that are trying to locate in Birmingham" |" said o. L. Bum, traffic manager for the Birmingham traffic bureau. T have an- swered at least six letters from various enterprises today. I feel sure that Bir- mingham is the ideal place for the manu- facturer and, if we succeed in getting 'basing point for steel in this city, Bir- mingham will certainly boom.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
ADRIF7T WITH THE TIMES
l,e. dRaueQ-

THE PINK BUTTERCUP DAWN Crimson and gold and silver gray; it's morning now in Kansas, Refulgence of the dawn Is told in multifarious stanzas. But Seh, Ia. why effervesce. you poets bythe legions? It's true day dawns in Kansas, but 1t does in other regions. -J. Tennyson Daft in the Kansas City Star O. Tennyson. why do you bring in words to foster grieving? Why smite the poets when they sin~ of glores past believingi Iris true the days dawn here and there and elsewhere, far and near. sir But does it glmmer anywhere as bright as it does here sir? Doc Bixby in the Nebraska State Journal Oh. if I knew Miss Nature I would surely have 10 aslla Why the day dawns in Kansas and why it dawns in Nebraska; The only really truly dawn of this or other nations Is the dawn down in Texas Other dawns are limitations,
 Houston Post Full many bard has sung of dawn, a spectacle entrancing; The sparkling dew upon the lawn. the rosy sun advancing, And while it must be beautiful, as all declare, to me if Is quite unknown-I never could get up in time to see 1t.
 MAY HAVE BEEN PRICELESS People who ride hobbies are a queer sort"
 Maybe so." replied MT. Jagsby. with a bored air. For instance. the other day in a curio store I saw an old gentleman go into ecstasies over a common clay jug"
 "Ah." exclaimed MT. Jagsby, looking interested. What was in it?"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

inc notes which no man however learn ed could have been competent to write. The letters were of great interest to me because they gave such intimate pen pictures of many of the noted women who from the beginning lines up to the suffrage amendment.
 Now thing which struck me was even as far back as the seventies when advanced women began to clamor for their political and legal rights there were conservatives who were as equal ly claimant against permitting their sisters to invade what they looked upon
 (COntinued Page Six.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
Baptist Assembly At Howard College

THE Baptist summer assembly at
 U Howard college, July 22-2S, will bring together representative men and women from all parts of the state and will be an event of more than ordinary educational and reli- gious interest.
 The programme will embrace every phase of Baptist activity and, of course, Sunday school work will come in for large share of discussion and practical demonstration.
 Distinguished preachers and lec- turers will be heard and every topic assigned will have ready appeal.
 No more delightful place for the as- sembly could be found than Howard. While it is within the boundaries of the city, it has all the charm and in |vigorating atmosphere of the coun- try.
 The public in general, regardless of |denominational utilization, will be cordially welcomed to all the exer- cises of the week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
HEARD IN FRANCE

A discharged soldier says: One of the first American divisions sent 10 France was being relieved in the army. the two columns passing, one in and one out, on the same road. There was much talk between columns and the following was heard: Who are you fellows?"
 Man of new division: "We are the selected men from New York"
 Man of old division: Selected hell. They selected them horses you've got
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

aroused, and they are in Montgomery in droves. They are determined that the big businesses of the state shall not be taxed out of existence.
 They claim that if the present laws are enforced all the money the gov ernor claims to need can be collected, and they are showing the legislative committees the right ana proper way.
 #
 Governor Kilby is determined to build up the educational institutions of the state. the common schools of the state, and elevate the young people of Ala bama from the low educational exist ence of the present day. In this the governor is eminently correct. But he can do it by other than war measures.
 After another two weeks of deliber- ation, probably a reasonable compro- mise will be reached which will pro vide the necessary revenue without do- ing injustice to the best business in- terests of the state.
 # F x
 A bill in the legislature which will do a grave injustice to educational and other institutions of the state is that for the inspection of hospitals, reform atories, convents asylums and sectarian seminaries of the state on petition of 20 citizens of a county made to the circuit judge. such inspection to be made by the sheriff or some other per son designated by the judge.
 So far the bill is all right But there is another clause in it which says that, Such reports so filed shall be kept secret and inviolate by the parties making such reports, and by the clerk of the circuit court, and shall be de- livered by the latter to the solicitor of said county when the grand jury has been duly organized"
 In other words the heads of the ir- stitutions so inspected cannot see the report nor have opportunity to make defense. 4, An unjust report would lead to the absolute destruction of an institution.
 Inspection by a sheriff or some one appointed by circuit judge would be all right provided such report was made in the open. Secret reports on church schools or convents made by a prejudiced sheriff would be calcu- lated to cause untold havoc
 am told that this bill has been re- ported favorably to the house, but un- it will be amended or de- feated, like bills which have been pre- sented to prevent the sale of cigarettes in the state
 7,eJ Gd3opea~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

This talk. of course. is the product of the brain of some of the anti-Under- wood people who are grooming prohi bition candidates against him It was anything with them to injure Under wood.
 The writer happens to know that Un- derwood has taken no hand whatever in this contest. lie was as thoroughly hands off as if he had lived in Alaska.
 Others claim that the Alabama Pow CT Company was the hidden force be- hind the fight on suffrage. As a mat ter of fact the officials of the Alabama Power Company had nothing whatso- ever to do with it.
 The opposition was composed merely of the old Bourbon element, a part of pretty plaything, and another part of which looks upon her as a housekeeper, cook and a rearer of children. They would treat her as the Chinese Manda- rin treats his wife and his daughters- beings not capable of intelligent baby dolls
 Of course suffrape is coming m again and the best indications are that before this session of the legislature shall have adjourned many opponents of 1t will have taken to the woods. Certainly those opposing senators and representatives who seek political hon ors will get nothing al the hands of the National Democratic Party. Not one of them can get an appointment in Washington nor an appointment as postmaster in his home town They turned down the request of the Ma tional Democratic Committee and the request of the democratic leader who now occupies the White House. They had nothing to gain thereby, but sought to muss up things rather than support the National Democratic Or ganization.
 # # #
 There is indeed merry mess about the state capitol in Montgomery.
 The governor is determined to put through his income tax bill with it's provisions to put a tax of cents ton on coal and of 10 cents a thousand feet on lumber. He wants business and personal incomes taxed in proportion to their magnitude and would take over those excess profits which the United States government does not take. He claims the state needs money and he wants it from those who have the most of it; but he is having easy sailing The business people of the state are
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
City of Good Restaurants

Birmingham has more cafes and cafa- terias than any city of approximately its size that l have ever visited" said w c Rainer of New York.
 Tn every city of consequence one will find two or three first-class restaurants, and several second-rate eating places. But every cafe that I have patronized here, during a stay of two weeks, has been ex- cellent in every respect.
 Birmingham is well off in hotels, too. All that the city needs to make it one of the great convention cities of the country is a big auditorium, and l under stand that bond issue will soon be voted for the purpose of supplying that long felt want
 Taken all in all, this is wonderrul city. Its residence section surpasses in beauty anything I have seen in the south. and few cities in the north or west are equal to it"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
FIXING HIS STATUS

From the Houston Post.
 A Tennessee anti suffragist complains that under woman suffrage a man with no property and a wife and five daugh- ters might have seven times as much say in government as a rich bachelor. He ought to have seventy times as much say as a rich bachelor A bache- Tor ought to be classed with mules, marble statues and wooden Indians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
REVENGE
LEFT OUT

Air ye one O them newspaper fel- lers?" asked the native
 Yes" replied the brisk reporter, 'T that lynching bee"
 You've got hard row to hoe, young feller There ain't nobody aroun' here doin' any talkin' about that little af- tide in bed with tn rheumatism an couldn't take part in th'-er-festiv- ities"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
CUPID SWALLOWED

By Leigh Hunt.
 r other day as I was twining Roses for a crown to dine in What, of all things, midst the heap, Should light on, fast asleep, But the little desperate elf, The tiny traitor-Love himself! By the wings 1 pinched him up Like a bee, and in cup s Of my wine, plunged and sank hi-l; And what dye think I did?-I drank
 him!
 Faith. l thought him dead. Not he. There he lives with tenrold glee. And now this moment. with his wings feel him tickling my heart strings. N
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
High Value of This
 Years Cotton Crop

|MNT HILE the total cotton crop of WV the south will be short, per |haps not much above ten million bales,
 Alabama will produce more than early
 estimates called for.
 The acreage planted might have
 yielded nine hundred thousand bales,
 save for unfavorable weather condi-
 tions and the boil weevil which played havoc in a few counties of the state. As it is, the best authorities place the new crop in Alabama at something like seven hundred and fifty thousand bales. A few years ago this would have been considered small indeed. But fortunately the day of "all cotton" in Alabama is gone It is
 much better farming to grow some cotton, but more of food crops. A seven hundred thousand-bale crop at thirty-five cents will bring more
 money than did the bumper crops of past years at prices which usually prevailed.
 * * * Marshal Haig has explained that he
 did not Intentionally ignore the Ameri- can army in recent speech. Still, it's a bit annoying to see how often our British cousins forget that we had .
 hand in the war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
Tax on Soft Drink,

Although the tax on soft drinks must be paid by the consumer, on many occasions the firm is called on to pay the tax" said c. l.. Hagan of the Hagan-Dunlap Drug company. Sometimes people buy drinks and put the check with the price of the drink on the counter and walk out, and it is then up to the proprietor to pay this tax. Of course, the people don't do this intentionally, but they just nat urally forget about the additional tax"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
FIattery's the bellows blows up sin. -Pericles Prince of Tyre.
 x * *

BEGINNING THE DAY-My Fa- ther and my God, when I consider the pattern Thou hast set up, my heart faints within me and my soul cries out in pain. For the pattern is within my own being and 1t lashes me with its white perfection. I must and yet l cannot. I cannot, yet I must. Lord, I fOIiSw Thee. Do Thou the rest. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
THE BIRDMAN

The man who sails in cloudland
 Looks down on all below. The streams like silver ribbons,
 The lakes like sapphires glow. Diversified with patches
 Of emerald and brown, The landscape flows beneath him,
 With here and there town. Where wreaths of smoke are curling
 In spirals to the blue And swarms of tiny creatures
 Their daily tasks pursue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
Political News Important

"The political news in The Age Herald is not only timely and interesting, but is impartial towards all questions aris ing in the Senate, Congress or legisla- ture," said H. N. Randle, warden of the city jail. T enjoy reading the reports of legislative progress from Montgomery Tn the morning paper. The legislature cer- tainly is we'll covered by The Age Herald.
 While I am in favor of the league of nations, I admired the policy of the paper shown when Senator Reed an- nounced that he would speak here. It W ould have been reflection on Birming ham if he had been prohibited from speaking or if there had been rudeness shown while he was making his address, '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
WHY BAGpIPER KEEPS MOVING

From BITghty, London.
 The Scottish bagpipe players were breaking the atmosphere into thousands of fragments with their instruments.
 Why do those pipers keep walking up and down as they play?" asked one stranger of another.
 T don't know" was the peevish an swer. unless it makes them harder to hit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
WONDERFUL CONTROL

What sort of man is Dubwaite?' "An unusual character"
 ''Yes?'
 T understand he has been known to the thermometer at 102 in the shade and not use any stronger language than tut tut"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

the festivities later on, I'm out of the house by o'clock in the morning."
 REVENGE Heinie's feeling better now In the fatherland; He sits around and guzzles beer And listens to band And as he quaffs the amber brew He winks a fishy eye And says "Verdammt America Is
 dry.
 dry
 dryw
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
ABOUT 1923

Life is getting to be more compli- cated every day"
 How so?"
 "I see where man lodged a motor car in an eastern town, only to be struck on the head by an empty cham- pagne bottle tossed off an airship that had Just arrived from London"
 NE1GHBORLY AMENITIES
 Just moment" said Mir. Gadspur to MT. Clipping. who occupies the flat above him.
 "well?"
 Would you mind breaking up your little dancing parties about midnight? That's my bedtime"
 Why, no. That's a reasonable re- quest"
 Thanks. And if you wish to resura
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20
sUBsCltIprlON RATES

No communication will be publlsheo without US autnor nalne. hsJecteH manuscript wln not De returned unAess stamps are sncIosed Tor that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

Remittances can be made ct eurreal rate o1 exchange. The 1Ase-t1eIaI aId Wlil not be responsible for moAey seht through tue maIIs. Address
 ThE AGt-h ERALD,
 Birmingham, Ala
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-20

Entered 'at the Bummg ham, Ala. postoffice as second-cIass matter, un- der act of Congress, March $, 1879.