davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08
The Old Bird.

A Colonel of colored regiment
coming in about half-past 10 o'clock
was duly challenged by the sentry,
and resopnded:
Colonel. officer OF the camp"
darkness, gave It up and finally said:
Look 'eah man. yo-all ah de 10th
man what's done tried to make me
think he's Cunnel Go away
wild dat stuff"
The Colonel pretty warmly Ie-
affirmed that he was Colonel -.
and demanded immediate admission.
The guardS H1abashed. told him to
step up so mat he could see him.
The Colonel walked up to him in
rage, and you can imagine his con-
sternation when the sentry took hold
of the silver eagle on his shoulder,
looked up at him with a grin on his
face and said
"Ch, Lawsy! 'Tis de ole bird, aia't
it?" The Bayonet
A man advertising for wife
there is one man looking for trouble.
Some one has said that Texas has
more rivers and less water, more
cows and les milk, more black
land. proportionate to its white peo-
pie than any state in the Union.
Truel
Some Poetry.
The days may come,
The days may go.
But wherO they come from,
Well. | don't know--Selected
The First But Not the Only.
An apple is said to have cause the
downfall of the first man, but / do
know many whose downfall has been
cause by the banana peeling.
My brother never lets his wife
cut wood-with dull axe.
II is said that Kansas farmer in
the corn belt has made a scare crow
90 natural. that the crows brought
back the corn.
Many 4 family who has not been
married twenty-five years would cele-
hrate the 25th anniversary before
that time II by doing so. he could
get the silver,
A small HOY hear6 his married sis
ter talking about celebrating her
wooden wedding. Being asked by
another boy what wooden wedding
was. replied that when n woman
celebrates her wooden wedding, she
ahows that she has found out that
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08
Card of Thanks.

wish to thank the many friends
for kindness shown me during my
illness, ] shall always remember
each one of you.
Very sincerely,
(Mrs.) Clemie Alexander Reynolds.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

Some Stops 1 will Make Coming
Back.
1t is not every man who can go.
There some who go must stay, but
can come back" When l leave
Louisville, Kentucky, the land Of
pretty women and fine horses, the
land which is still celebrated for its
blue grass, but from which "Old
Kentucky Bourbon" has been eX-
tirpated. | will stop and speak at
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

DR.. J. H. oopD, Physician and sur.
gecn. Blood. Sputum and Urine ex.
amined. 1904 Williams. near Henry.
Phone 1928 North Belt, South Belt
and Hickory cars. Hours: to IL ..
M; 2 to 5 p. M: 7 to 8 D. m.
DIR. GEORGE LYTLE, Veterinarian,
day and night. Office 1874 Willow st.,
cor. Hill. from to Il. NJ, or PEG.
ple's Undertaken Co.. a m to 6 p. m.
Guarantees cure in lock1aw and other
serious diseases Of Horses. Cattle and
aninals GENERALLY. Answers calls
DIR. r. II. HAMILTON, Physician
and Surgeon. Room 215 Pythian
Temple; residence 1903 Thomas Ave.
Phones: Office, Main 1144; residence
II. 1927; Office hours: 10 a. m. to
- M; 8 to 5 p. m; to $3.50 p. m.
Dallas. Texas.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

A Missionary can always be trusted
to go to the bad.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

Some who complain much about
coldness Of this world, if they do
not change, will go to world where
they will have no need to complain
further of GOODNESS.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

to 80 to the bad.
| A white man who don't want q
Colored man 70 live a week with
him in the same square is offering
to go to heaven with him and there
live forever. The other world is
not like this.
The public be pitied-5,O00 more
young doctors to be turned loose
Oh, generation of butchers Well
they may be necessary, for we must
have a door when we come in the
world and we usually have one when
we 90 out.
Civil engineer is a failure in a
locomotive and civil conductors are
scarce on the trains.
A man does not have to go to a
saloon to have a doctor treat him
In Japan man can get a wife
for so cents. Well she is worth every
cent of it.
The difference between marriage
in India and United States is, that
in the former, man never sees
his wife before marriage in the lat
ter he seldom sees her afterwards.
If women were firemen you could
not keep men from going QUITO
see them handle the hose.
was the chief mourner at the
funeral today, deceased owed me
$500
A girl may be as pretty as pic
ture and then have poor frame.
Texas once noted for tough people
Is now celebrated for tough steaks.
A policeman is man the city
pays to sleep outside.
The passengers who complain are
the blame for the crowded street
car.
A question-Does a man wear
suspenders to keep his pants up or
to keep them from coming down?
Big shoes are the best things Off
big feet.
A cannibal is man who lives on
human beings, and Dallas is full of
them.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08
Going Him One Better.

Going Him One Better.
The Oldest good story is the one
about the boy who left the farm and
got a job in the city. He wrote a
letter to his brother, who elected to
stick by the farm. telling of the
Joys of city life, in which he said:
Thursday we auto'd out 10 the
country club, where we golfed until
dark. Then we motored to the beach
and Fridayed there"
The brother on the farm wrote
back
Yesterday we buggied TO town
and baseballed all afternoon. Then
we went to Ned's and nokered till
morning. Today we muled out to
the cornfield and geehawed until
shutdown. Then we suppered, and
then we piped for a while. After
that we staircased up 10 our room
and bedsteaded until the clock fived."
San Francisco Argonaut.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

A white man who don't want a
Colored man 70 live a week with
him in the same square is offering
to go to heaven with him and there
live forever. The other world is
not like this.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

A Question.
A song of Abraham approaching
one of his brethren inquired
well, ky, do you b'lieve in heav-
emf?
mo"
"Do you believe in hell?"
well, no."
Den NIT you tell where all de
pizness gone, alrady."
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

Marriage is the only game of
chance not forbidden by the law.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

In many places 90 l find well
come has been here, and gone.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

A father can make spots on the
son with a strap.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

JaInison SaRiterfum- Among the
show nlaces in 'rexarkana Is me
new Jo,nison sanitarium at 610 Hazel
esreet where through the enterprise
Of DIR. @. r. Jarnison. a pew balm
81 GiIeada yeritable fountain Of
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

ntllectlOnS.
A man was found dead near Chica-
go. recently and the Coroner In
searching the body for papers by
which 10 establish his identity,
found no name, but the following
Diary: "Being told time and time
again hat was no good on earth.
| decided on a seafaring life. and
shipped on the Great Lakes. Speak
ing of bunny water. why the wind
BLEW with such force. that the waves
went around bareheaded. the wind
having blown off their white caps.
AS a measure of safety / threw out
nv chest along with some other
things didn't want. There was
kmocked-kneed women on the boat
when we started, but overheard
her telling lady friend on her re-
turn that she was bow-legged. Tips
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

Single people are about the only
ones who do not believe in divorce
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

The only women who do not go
through the pockets of men are
those who are absent
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

There are men who can not keep
a secret, but never fail to keep any
thing they get their hands on.
II a modest woman lifts her skirt
too high in crossing a muddy street,
and she notices that she has attracts
ed attention, she bushes. but the
next day she walks into the surf
with a one-piece bathing suit on
and doesn't blush.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

A cannibal is a man who lives on
human beings, and Dallas is full of
them.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

Civil engineer is a failure in a
locomotive and civil conductors are
scarce on the trains.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08

They say that silk dresses come
from worms. Then there are many
worms wearing pants. ard have
only two legs.
The Dallas express. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1893-1970, 1919-02-08
The First But Not the ONLY.

An apple is said to have cause the
downfall of the first man, but / do
know many whose downfall has been
cause by the banana peeling.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
Dpp1i11R
M$a49M4lMa@s!ss1,, az
CCl<r>.ro,J,T /SNsy
TIMELY THEMES.

ne day is ,ot as melted lead;
iihCo somo Ice upon my head and
seek the shade outdoors. and tncre
tcad some cooling boOk-tho VOYAGES
0i br. Cook along IN, arctic Hhorcs
,e ne uoc IN held to he fake. but IN
nus wrltlngs he can mnke "A man forxet
tnc neat. with him | walk whrr, hlik-
hatns toll discovering n pipe dream pole
among the framed up slcet Ny read
ihg taxes me farther hack; | follow SIR
Joan ffhhklin's track, TO where n mas
hh "hd, ne vanished In tho storm and
inck' and never sent "A mcssnge bnck
10 any mortal friend So;uewhcr, .hs
polar night wind moans above Sir
johns heroic homes. all hurled dr.p IN
snow bones ~ others hv their sid. hut
now the heroes wrought and died we
h"vermorc shah know. | read OF Gree
ley'H hunger camp and feel tear In
either lamp, for that's frightful tale;
and as ! read | seem to hear tho ic.
Toes crashing far and near, and feel
IN" bitter yale A nelghbor comes along
and cries, Gee whlx' Our Augus,s and
Julys are getting worse and worse;
thls heat, II longer II persist VIII get
my Eont ! WOO and visit. and put mo In
h"1rso." ! hear his words In mild
surprise; I've been abroad meath arctic
skies, among the endless SHOWS, and [
am feeling lust M II my ears and nose
were frozen stlff. and | had chilblained
toes
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
Ola Stories
hzNee23h4Pe Ne 3'.l?
Twenty Years Ago.

The Street Fair association has
placed the work of the flower parade
in the hands OF the ladies' clubs OF
the city, who have appointed com
mittee to handle the matter. Mem
bers OF the committee include Mes
DANES 7. NJ Richardson, d. +. Stiles,
II Overholser, ]. G.. Street W, J
pettec, A. b. Reagan, r W. William
son, r. NJ Upshaw, w w. Storm,
K II. Wilkin, Harry Gerson and b.
+. Dunn.
II. G. Trospcr notified the police
Sunday morning that he had been
robbed the night before OF about
$500.
Florence addition is putting on
airs. Sewer pipe is being put down
and yesterday $1,000 worth OF lots
were sold. TX Governor Renfrow in
'vesting 5000.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
EH:isto1yR
Bits <sA6
One Hundred Years Ago Today,

One Hundred Years Ago Today.
lSl9-Joseph p. Thompson. noted
clergyman, author and Psychologist
born in Philadelphia. Died IN Ber.
I'm, Sept ~, 1879
Seyenty-tlve Years Ago To-day.
lS44 -- Many persons crushed to
death in crowd at a public exccu.
tion in Nottingham, England.
Fifty Years Ago Today.
l8b@-A total eclipse OF the sun
was visible throughout large part
OF the United States.
Twenty five Yeats Ago Today.
1894 - Russia threatened 10 inter
fere IN the Chino Japanese war if her
trade suffered too severely.
One Year Ago Today In the War.
August 7. l9l8-Grneral March an
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The federal trade commission after extensive and thorough investigation
finds warand profits the shoe industry from the packers the
retailers Packers wholesalers and retail merchants
involved according report That all will
plead the packers have already done be expected Their
defense entitled consideration But important truths that the
price shoes shockngy high and the trade had opportunities
OF finding the which the hope have
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
Our Daily Birthday Party.

Rear Admiral Spencer s. Wood,
Unted States navy, recently assigned
to command Division No. | OF tn,
Pacific fleet, born in Brooklyn, N, Y,
tlIty-elght years ago today.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
D01lfW6rru
- YR Nm -
WALL OF A WALKER.

We heard that wise pedestrian say
One ought to walk ten miles a day
To keep the human system tit
Until old age shall end the skit.
And we'll repeat that he is wise.
And walking is great exercise,
But still we take the open air
Reclining in a rocking chair.
Perhap, we'll join a walking club,
And be a strong, athletic dub
When autumn comes with chilling breeze
And multi colored naples trees,
And frosty air produces pep
Reflected IN our sprngy step
But who would walk ten lengthy milos
Until the weather changes styleS2
That being thus, or ,hereabout,.
This should inform the ben1ne scouts,
They needn't hesitate with pride
About inviting us TO ride.
For when arrayed in pricky heat
And perspratlon soakS our feet.
We do not really want to walk
NO matter how the wise men talk
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
Fifteen Years Ago.

India Temple Anclcu, Arabic Or
der Mobiles OF the Mystic Shrine. held
a reception last evening in honor OF
Mobiles William J Pe,tce, { Porter
Johnson and William L. Barnum.
who represented the local order at
Atlantic City when the imperial coun-
Gil meeting was held there recently.
The Southwestern Baseball league
is thing Of the past, As a result
OF the loss OF the fourth team, thu
second schedule Of games resulted in
Oklahoma City winning the pennant.
D. X. Green, Familiarity known as
Cannon Ball Green" is stopping at
the Illinois hotel. In his Younger
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The skin of an elephant when
tanned is very expensive. the tanning
taking about six months.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Now that the American fleet ha. entered the Pacific Is hoped
Senator Hiram Johnson will be able get little
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Austria, reply the peace isn't particularly important. Austria
has O those which lets her
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

EUcpTBoDT IS NOW
AWARE Oe TrG SAcT
TAhT AR TOAST rAR STCR
IS ALLUDrJG 10 NC
T,-eT acc AL lOoHtrJG
AT NE
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The young lady across tho way SAYS
p. thing else Is so important as health
and every morning she goes throagh
gymnastics TINT exercise every pre-
roeative
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

days he was perhaps the biggest mail
contractor in the west lie 'is now
living quietly on hi, farm near
Bridpcnort
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
Ten YeaIs Ago

Ten Years Ago.
WASHlNGTON--Ihe tariff ha,
been revised The Paync-Aldrich bill,
which has been pending in congress
since last March was passed by the
senate Wednesday afternoon and
Presiden, Taft affixed his signature
Miss Olinda Ge,hmann was mar
ried yesterday to J, +, Wellenmcycr
superintendent OF schools at Glad
brook, Iowa The ceremony took
place a, the home of the brides par
ents, Mr. and Mrs William Geth-
mann OF go West Eighth street
The Tradesmen's State bank. with
its capital OF $4,000, will open i,s
doors for business September /.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The bunder' enough ot undertakings but il
might DO by needing the advice eros
forum, where fault finding the regular order business
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Rue Hoskin, hi. old had ,lmeot,
baseball fingers, and continues enjoy poor health
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Resade', of the Grea, Unrest, fertile memory recall. tha, there
sold for thirteen bushel Farmers alliance was cont.m
plating Power and the bu oons 81 W. m @
well satisfied with conditions knowledge Of history onb
readily ~ ~ '''' p''ou
big league baseball player drawing 5000 for brief season, p,m
ms viii also have some difficulty that he slave
The man who figures how much he would ne didn't
smoke probably wouldn't it, there being infinitely more
ways OF wasting money than of killing a
sADDEsT WORDS
John G. Whittier we feel sure
Had he but thought of I again
Had deemed the saddles, Of pen
Are not much change temperature
Now an Ice shortage interfering with ,hpmen, the peach crop
modify. ~
winter and baekslde about the time fishing season opcnedi
THE ACCENTED SYLLABLE
What dssipates elation
For the man who think, he,
Is her
WIN the the
Tho mere fact that to drive the car is
sign that she knows
Some In for political career, while Others devise
different excuses for staying late
Most of the auctneer, regardless, ability at rapid
fire conversation.
pe.,mI,t can't think of anything but mo.uui-
toes and red ants when contemplating camping trip.
lot of old ooshne,, appea, to disguised
Thought
Close probably have that the applause usually loude,
at the end of speech
Another way to lower place in the lin.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

nounced United States planned to
raise army OF 100000; Lloyd George
in house Of commons said $50 Ger
man submarines had been sunk Ma
ior General Graves named to COM
mand United States Siberian con-
tlngcnt.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The strike of railway ,homen which spreading and already hamper
Ing premature and unauthorized by national officials the crafts
involved That startling evidence of the spirit Of unrest but it
weaken rather than strengthen labor The
strike Chicago authorized minority defiance their
Union abos lies solidarity Here evidence Of
defiant within Needless and
gains
naon business
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Ve Bocte confessed robbery here boolesgng as might
have been expected
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
BUSINESS MEMS OPINION

VERWHELMINGLY the business Of America have expressed their
ownership railroads The referendum
United States chamber Of commerce show, " percent against
ownership plan That based somewhat actual
experience with government operation of the transportation Before
that experiment with the railroads
makes bad There few line OF
suffered from the change ha, been difficult to get
freight shipments have been Rate, have increasedS
and the prompted by competition has been largely lacking
unnmiy they oppose plan which would make such conditions
permanent
balance OF the will do well to ponder the Judgment OF these
Ignorant as, and unreasonable agi'a'or' use this
favor OF edairng the
seek the and class rule regard all business
exploiting the workers whom they choose to
wealth Blu, such un American
idea, and ideals They but small minority Of the total
Their wild theories have brought chaos other lands and
should not be riked in America
There proteers business Some OF them be
egazed fashion But the MAN, their honesty and integrity
will stand with the of humanity And their wisdom uds
and have been mighty factor in placing America
In competition with each other and
OF this nation and its the
and initiative quite essential creating
wealth labor Russia which sought otherwise prediction
slump ovewhem her industries America we'll listen the
business particularly when it strictly business
proposition, such the operation OF railroads
orgssed labor will do well listen Business have had
clashes the they have been
been steadily toward improving working conditions Many
freely have been granted under
The has make Amcan labor the best paid best educated best
world t,
ownership still beiriendng the of wongmn
private capital eliminated the huge public debt thus created in taking
the railroads will fall proportion their holdings labor and capital
profits promised public intangible thing best In all
probability would be profits all The verdict of the business
O ownership is the rendered
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

Lines Worth Remembering.
II needs great nature TO bear the
weight OF a great gratitude .-Ouida.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

The man who figures how much he would save II he ddn
smoke probably wouldn't it, there being infinitely mo,
way' OF wasting money than of killing a cat
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

big league baseball player drawing 5000 for brief seasons p,s,n
mg will also have difficulty convincing that he is slave
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07
SADDEST WORDS.

John G. Whittier we feel sure.
Had he but thought of il again.
Had deemed the saddet words OF p.n
Are mot much change in temperature"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-08-07

IT, TRY To APpG AZ
AS TAOUSs , DO NOT
hhERlT ALL MS PRAISE
BUT , Az pOVJG RGES ,
10 SVOP ttkn
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-08-22
DEATH OF MRS. o. H. vOELKER

Owosso people were shocked Friday
by the death of Mrs. o. H. Voelker,
wife Of the superintendent of the
Owosso schools. Outside a circle of
intimate friends few knew that Mrs
Voelker's condition was serious. Death
is attributed to the after-effects of a
severe attack of influenza last Octo-
Der.
Miss Ruby Rice was born in Strik-
err, Ohio, October %, 1889. She had
lived in Ohio all her life previous to
coming to Michigan few years ago
She was graduated from Olivet col
lege with the class of 1912 and in
1914 she was united in marriage to
Mr.. Voelker.
She is survived by her husband
and one brother, Marion Rice, of Strik-
er, Ohio.
Mrs. Voelker was a member Of the
Congregational church here and was
known as a young woman of keen in
tellect who devoted much time to
reading and study. The sympathy Of
the entire community goes out to Mr.
Voelker in his bereavement.
The funeral was held at the home
Sunday afternoon, Rev. B. G. Mattson
officiating. Burial was made in Oak
Hill cemetery.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-08-22

For sale-On easy terms and AT a very
reasonable price, a building lot on Com
stock street. Plenty Of time ia which
to make easv payments. f. o. Dewey.
over Southland d DepsmOre's.