davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
Bv de PoL.

When our boys come back!
We've got our over-heroes-got
sort O. used to 'em in fact-but
our ver-Thereos--well, they've
got something comm 10 EN-.
Daddy throw out your chest!
Mamma, you know what they like
best in the. "eats" line--cook 'em
lip the best old feed you know
how. Our boys are coming back!
O. course we'll believe all they
tell US. Heaven forfend (polite
for God forbid that we question
their veracity as to the number of
notches on their tommyhawks,
when it's perfectly plausible that
one may stutter when keeping
record The boysll certainly
have the bulge on us. How'll
we know where the quaint little
village Of I, Femme Delarue is. if
we don't know our geography?
This Somewhere abroad stuff
gives a fellow a pretty broad
license. Anyway, WE'LL drink in
every word and believe EN-, too.
"Cootie or Cutie"
And we'll not look surprised
when they spring the barley
vous" OH us. We know what
demi-tasse is and what a cafe-au-
chicory might be. Well even par
don 'em when they call a coffin
nail faa, but, believe me. there's
one thing I'm personally curious
about, and ! hope the boys II put
me wise to it's it "cootie"
or cutie? I'D -
When Jim was drafted he sold
me his almost-new overcoat. The
past week I've been in cold
sweat that he might want it back,
and you know what a new over
coat costs nowadays.
There's young Jones. He got
three promotions in quick, short
order and is now major Will
he be content to return to his lit
lie old job at $40 per? There's
Pete, who played the patriotic
dope so he could get away from
his wife, and George. who joined
to be a hero and Courses on the
luckD got as far as England
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12

The most conspicuous member of
the presidential party was General
Humidity" who stuck fast to his
commander and chief all the way to
the point of destination. The presi-
dent, however, is a good wet wealth.
er traveller. At St. Louis he put
his audience in good humor at the
outset by shaking water out Of his
hair and exhibiting his drenched
clothes, with this introduction: Il
am afraid you will find my speech a
little dry, but | want to assure you
that that is the only dry thing about
me" 1t rained on the president
also at Cairo and at Menphis--in
fact, it was typical waterways
journey in all respects.
No Number IS Hoodoo.
When the president went on his
boat at Keokuk, the governors and
rest of the party took possession
Of special train that had been
chartered to take them to St.
Louis There were twelve COVER
nors in the party at this time. On
arrival the previous night the in
formation had been vouchsafed that
IS governors would be present at
Keokuk.
THAT won't scare me-" exclaimed
Governor Sheldon. Owe been
through the Ak-Sar-Ben initiation"
But Governor Johnson of Min
nesota proved to be number Is,
and not having had the benefit of
any Ak Sar-Ben incarnation he fell
sick, and by the Doctors advice
gave up the trip down the river
and returned home under the care
of DR.. Loeb, who was headed for a
vacation on his ranch in Montana,
by way of st. Paul and the northern
route.
Puts Omaha on His Map.
The presidents reception at St
Louis marked the climax of the trip.
Thousands upon thousands of peo-
pie massed upon the levee to watch
his debarkation at the boat landing,
and many thousands more lined the
streets along which his carriage was
TO 60 to the Jai Alai building on the
Worlds fair grounds, where he
was to speak, and they stood there
undeterred by the drenching rain
that fell in torrents. When the
president appeared before the au-
dienee that filled this large hall from
center to circumference, he was wet
to the skin, but good-naturedly set
his audience at ease by perpetrating
the sally above quoted. The St.
Louis address was the best Of the
series delivered by the president.
1t was more comprehensive than
the others. The president seemed
to enter thoroughly into the spirit
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
Travelling With Roosevelt
April 1908

constantly with him whenever. he is
exposed to the public and no one
can get near the president unless
fairly known to these men or on
business that entities him to access
to his presence. One of the secret
service men always rides on a box
of the carriage conveying the presi-
dent and others have places in the
carriage Immediately following.
When the president mounts plat
form or reviewing stand these men
always cling close to him. The
president is literally surrounded by
bodyguards whenever he moves
they catch hold of him and push
him along, throwing the crowds
back and moving almost on the rum
Before people know it the president
is whisked in or out Of his carriage
and driven away at fast gallop.
president Roosevelt is easy to
handles said one Of the secret SER
vice men to me. "He is less trouble
10 us than was President Mckinley,
for he helps us out. If anyone gets
in his way or the path becomes
blocked he will push along with the
rest of US, whereas President Nc
kinney would stand still until we
cleared the road.
1.-The great trouble as a rule with
the police and the guardsmen who
do duty on these occasions" he
continued "is that they hold the
crowd back up to the time the pres
dent arrives and then become so
intent on seeing the president that
they forget all about the line be-
hind them and are overrun by the
crowd just at the wrong time. We
paw less attention to the president
than we do to the people around
him. I always size up every person
within a radius of 20 or 80 feet and
keep watching in front for the
slightest sign of anything wrong.
Since the Buffalo affair we are, of
course, particularly careful to an
spect the hands Of everyone who
comes near No one with his hands
IN his pocket or under a cape or COW
cred in any way will succeed in pass
ing very close to the presidential
party. We try to ne polite and Of
ten get people to show their hands
without letting them know what we
are about, but If necessary we pull
their hands out Of their pockets or
force them back"
All Are Rough Riders.
The route laid out for the presi-
dent could have been materially i'm
proved if the main object were mere
comfort in travel. All members Of
the party protested that the trip
from Clarinda to Des MONIES was
the worst they had encountered, and
wondered why such a jolting line
had been selected for them
We'll all be rough riders before
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
Gigantic Iron Beds

The enormous coal and iron beds
in Spitzbergen belonging to the Brit
ish company, the Northern Explora-
ton company (Ltd), have been
investigated by experts who declare
that the iron beds are without ex-
ception, the largest in Europe.
Whole mountains of massive iron
ore are said to have been observed.
covering a distance of over Ia miles
and situated on good harbors. in
which ships of any size can enter.
One of the English coal beds is stat
ed to be working already.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12

Fatty who had bay window on
him that was his pride and joy, is
going to return. Gone is the
pride and joy'-but his chuckle
still remains.
Many a wife will bless the ar
my for initiating hubby into the
order of X. P. Also many a boy
will give that old army gag as an
excuse to his ma for having
learned to smoke. Katy can get
married now and things'll go
along much the same as they
were before the kaiser tried to
bite off more than he could chew.
OF course every year there'll be
reunions.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12

nag two weeks ahead of time and
spent all his leisure hours practic-
ing in the saddle so as to be in good
condition. Later word was receiv-
ed that the president would like to
attend church in the morning. Here
was a chance to distribute honors
still farther, and another committee
with distinct membership was APP
pointed to escort the president to
church. When all the committee
men were called together for final
consultation so nothing might be
neglected, one of those present is
said to have broken out: II don't
think this is fair deal. You APP
pointed the horse committee two
weeks ago and gave Ross plenty of
time to practice up on, now you put
me on the church committee with
three days notice and not time
enough to practice even once. l say
that's taking a fellow like me at a
DISADVANTAGE
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
TESTIMONIAL.

Editor Bundle Bee. Dear
Sir: l suffered for % years with
dandruff, pimples, that full feel
ing after eating, chills, chill
b1ains, warts and bunions. but
since reading the Bundle Bee l
am we'll man. noticed im-
provement in my case after
reading the Bundle Bee the
first time. The dandruff dis
appeared and I noted de-
crease in the size of the bun
ions. After reading the second
number / no longer had chills
and a complete cure followed
reading the fourth number. l
certainly can recommend the
BUNDLE Bee to anyone, espe-
cially to those who are above
the ordinary intellectually.
Gratefully yours,
EDYTHE SMYTHE.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
Brewery to Pork Packery

No more will the natives Of st.
Louis joyfully steer visitors to 1.-THE
greatest show in town"-the Anheu-
Busch brewery. The day Of its
glory is over. Admirers claimed
that its product was food and
drink in inspiring proportions.
thing, without bubbles or bottles
plain ham and bacon and sausages
on the side. The transition Of the
big show is from brewery to a
pork packery.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
KEEPING UP WITH THE LADY
SHORT STORY WRITER'S.

The hero of story in the Steve
post last week
Had an aristocratlc nose and
fastidious mouth"
''-lunched at the Bankers club"
took himself toward the Aston"
put his arms into his dressing
gown Of maroon silk, which exactly
matched the hangings of his Heppel-
white bedroom"
had well-chosen bric-a-brac."
played. before sitting down to
breakfast the first six bars of Bach's
Fugue in c Minor"
looked at his fine figure in the
Adam mirror"
went to an exhibition Of japanese
netsukes of which he was connois-
seur."
was passionate collector Of rare
Chinese porcelaines."
dropped in to Sherry's for tea"
OF course, he has a Japanese man.
named Togo, and thrice in the story
he touches something with a we'll
kept forehnger."
-
LINGER LONGER, LINGER.
"B. S. Linger," who conducts the
Squirrel Food" column in the
Minden (Neb.) Courier, sent us six
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
d7pn{bl8 a36ea3n!z5zin9s
~ 10 q JED ~

(6) cents to blow in on a New
Years cigar for ourself. Brother
Linger's column is frightened up by
extracts from the Bundle Bee.
!
Sudden Sol.
(Holdrege Citizen.)
Tailor Sol avine and family
took a sudden notion to move 70
Lincoln, Neb., and departed for
there last Monday evening. >sN
o. .m
THE HEADLINES.
"TUMULT IN GERMANY"
"TUMULTY IN WASHINGTON"
o
A TRUE STORY.
Little Drewie's mamma was tell
ing him the Christmas story of the
three wise men and how the star led
them to Bethlehem and how they
brought gifts to the child, Jesus.
What did they bring, mammal"
Drewie asked.
"Oh, gold and silks land things"
said his mother.
And candy and a fly swatter,
mammal" Drewie insisted.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
HAVE YOU READ IT.

On a shelf labeled New Books
of the Year" we observed a copy
of the Bible at the city library
last Thursday.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
HANDI CAPPS.

Born-To Mr.. and Mrs. J. J.
Caps, Saturday, December IA,
a daughter, who has been named
Aeriel De Jean.-Beaver City
Times-Tribune.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
Roosevelt Was "a Great Letter
Writer; Illustrative Sample of
Recent Correspondence
'METROPo J
Once Of
theodore Roosevelt
80 FOURTH AVENUE NEW YORK
June Goth, 1917.

Ny dear Mr.. Rosovatsrs
that's ,aashty nice sd4tOr4al Of
yours. you completely answered the prspOSt'rOu'
statements Of Senator H4tohoOok's paper. have
been. as you point out. sorupulously careful not
to attack the Administration. a. the upntrary,
vent out of ny way to assume, for the entire
people, the bldno which in reality rests primarily
upon the Administration. did this because
dld not Intend 10 make ny speech partisan speech;
but neither DO intend TO lie. as Senator hitchcock
and his paper desire.
faithfully yours,
re.~~cee e -
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12
We Know Several 81 'Em

Found-An auto crank. owner
may have same by proving property
and paying for this notice.-Nemaha
County Republican.
"A CITY OF CEMETERIES! i"
A. folder issued by the Chamber
of Commerce contains a large map
of Omaha which shows seven ceme-
teries, the postoffice and the railroad
stations. Judging by the map, that's
all there is in Omaha.
O.
TWINS!
ITS twins-19-l9," announces the
Minden Courier.
By Charles August Pulls.
First Griffin going to get my
friend" a set of military hair
brushes for Christmas.
Second Gir1-Why, thought he
was civilian.
o.
BY Joseph Armstrong.
Life, to him who feels, is a
tragedy; to him who thinks, a COM
edy."
Omaha daily bee., 1919-01-12

Mr.. Victor Rosevatsr, EdAtorI
The Omaha Daily Bee,
oNahs, Nebrs
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
TO RELEASE 1,151,OOO YANKS
Gen. March Says Generalization of
Army Is Proceeding at
Rapid F2te.

Washington Jan. 13.-Demobliza-
ton of the American army, General
March, chic of staff, said, is proceed
ing at a rate which comparative fig
ures show to be more than twice as
fast as the British rehabilitation. Ac-
tual figures up to January 10 of men
discharged from the American army
showed total Of 6o3,SS9 British dis
charges to January Z numbered 3j2,-
65S. American troops scheduled for
rehabilitation now number 1.151, 900,
including 10000 men who actually have
returned from overseas. but not in
Guiding units designated for return or
on their way home
The attaches report showed that OD-
erations undertaken in December were
for the purpose Of consolidating the
American and allied lines efor winter
occupation and also to break up boil
shevik concentrations on the front
south of Archangel.
An advance on front Of twelve
miles was accomplished on December
% and on January 3 attempts of the
enemy to retake the positions were
repulsed. Subsequently the allied lines
withdrew slightly to better positions,
where they are now standing. The re-
captuer of the town of Kadish by the
American troops was mentioned.
General March also made public
report from the American military at
tache at Archangel on operations in
northern Russia during December and
the early days of this month, indicat-
ing that the situation was regarded
as satisfactory both from military and
sanitary standpoints.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
WALDWICK
By HARVEY UREN.

| Mr. and Mrs Byron Bennett of Will
low Springs spent few days recently
at the w. T. Short home.
There will be a Farmers Institute
held in the Woodman Hall January 49,
II. On Friday the Red Cross will
serve dinner.
Mr. and Mrs Robert Uren and daugh-
ter spent Thursday evening at the
Joseph Grafton home.
William Buckingham is helping to
care for his uncle John Buckingham at
Blanchardville, who is very sick with
| influenza.
! Mr. and Mrs Clarence Humbert spent
last week at the Raleigh James home in
Pleasant View.
George Harris and Cyrus Terrell
were Blanchardville callers Tuesday.
Rev. Lindsey had a wood hauling
bee Thursday.
Elmer Uren was a Mineral Point
caller Tuesday.
Mr. and Mrs Robert Uren and Mr.
! and Mrs George Harker and son spent
Monday at Thomas Uren's near Hol-
, landale.
Mark Hansen was Mineral Point
caller Monday.
Fred Ross returned home Tuesday
from Camp Dodge, Ia, where he was
discharged from the army.
Herschel Terrell and Will Ross at
tended the Reese sale at Ridgeway
Tuesday.
Mrs Chris. Whitford and daughter
spent Tuesday at Chandler Heath's.
Mr. and Mrs Peter Jackson were
Mineral Point callers Tuesday
Henry Nygard was a Blanchardville
caller Tuesday.
Mr. and Mrs Clarence Humbert, Mrs
Walter Humbert and Mrs Chad Harker
spent Monday at the Henry Carter
home in Jonesdale.
Mr. and Mrs Will. Ross and family,
Mr. and Mrs Erwin Ross and family, Mr.
and Mrs Fred Ross, Mrs Mary Uren
and Grandmother Ball spent Thursday
at the John Ross home.
Mr. and Mrs Herschel Terrell spent
Thursday at w. T. Shorts.
Floyd Lindsey returned to Harvard
College Sunday, after 3 weeks fur
Tough With his parents, Rev. and Mrs
Lindsey.
Mrs Chris Whitford is caring for her
mother, Mrs Chandler Heath.
Mrs Virgil Boyle returned to her
home in Soldiers Grove, after visit
with her parents, Rev. and Mrs Linds
ley.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
u. S. GOVERNMENT WILL
AID FOREIGN BUSINESS
Legislative, Executive and judicial
Budget S7,0o0,0O More Than
in 1919

Washington, Jan. 11.-Aid in the
extension Of American foreign trade
is provided in the annual legislative,
executive and judicial appropriation
bill for 1920, reported to the house.
The measure carries appropriations
totaling $96,31S,000, approximately ST.
100000 more than the 1919 bill, and
provides for 19,435 salaries, a decrease
CT 178.
For the expansion of Americas for
elgn trade an appropriation of $780,
500 would be given the bureau of for
elgn and domestic commerce of the
department of commerce. The apprO-
priation, which is double that made in
1919, contemplates, according to testi-
mony gwen at hearings on the bill, the
sending Of agents of the bureau
throughout the word to investigate op-
pOrtunities for American business The
home personnel Of the bureau also is
increased under the bill so that infOr-
nation as to world markets may be
readily available to American business
men.
Assistance also would be given
American firms engaging in foreign
trade through the state department,
additions being provided for the de-
partment's staff of trade advisers and
legal experts. Representatives of the
state department at hearings on the
bill urged that measures be taken to
insure that American business men
are treated fairly by foreign govern
ments in the competition for after-the-
war trade.
In providing for state department
needs the bill abolishes the title of
counselor of the department and sub
stitutes the title of undersecretary Of
state.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
DODGEVILLE

Capt. D. J. Jones, an old and highly
respected citizen, died of old age, at his
home on E DAWSON street here Monday.
Spencer Hendrickson, 7year old son
of Mr. and Mrs Gust. Hendrickson, died
January 9, Of heart trouble caused by
infamatory rheumatism, from which he
has suffered since last May. The fu
neral was held Saturday, Rev. w. j.
Grifiths, Lastor of the P. G. Church,
officiating. He leaves his parents, three
sisters and three brothers. He was a
very likeable and intelligent little chap
and will be missed by all who knew
him.
Joyce Mellor of Edmund was home
over the week end.
Mrs Wesley Callow, Mrs Norman
Gibbs, Mrs John Hawke and Mrs Carl
Schulke of Cobb were shoppers here
Friday.
Mrs George Hible and daughter Ruth
of Edmund called on friends here Sat-
urday.
Miss Dorothy Jones expects to leave
next week to take up nurses training
course at Post Graduate hospital, Chi
cagO.
Ray Smith of Barneveld was here
Saturday on business.
Miss Libbie Theobald of Barneveld
visited friends here Saturday.
Mr. and Mrs G.. L. Mitchell visited
over Sunday at the Fred Berg home in
Madison.
Bernard Enzenroth, Hugh Hutchinson,
Dave Arthur and Clarence Clark of
Mineral Point called on friends here
Sunday evening.
Mrs Will Curnow returned Saturday
to her home in Chicago.
Mrs R. E. Gribble returned home on
Friday from a visit with relatives and
friends at Mineral Point.
Clyde Thomas is the first Dodgeville
boy to return from France. He arrived
home Friday night from Camp Grant.
Clyde was at the front three days when
he was injured by cave in caused by
the bursting of shell near him. An
operation was performed and he is al,
most entirely we'll again.
Mrs A. W. Gordon entertained the
bridge club Thursday.
James Houston of Montfort visited
friends here Thursday.
Mrs Thomas Johns was at Ridgeway
Saturday visiting friends.
Mrs John Trentzsch came home Fri
day from Highland, where she has been
visiting at the home Of her son, DR. Max
Trentzsch.
Charles Nc Cormick of Fennimore
visited friends here Friday and Satur
day
Miss Aletha Bartle, daughter OF Mr.
and Mrs Frank Bartle of this city, and
Lieut.. Merien Jones of Camp Meade,
Md. were married in Chicago last
Wednesday.
Miss Retta Gort has returned to her
position as operator at the e. N. W. de-
pot, after having ,been called home to
Eau Claire by the illness of her mother.
Rollie Burroughs has returned from
Camp Meade, Maryland.
Mrs Clarence Wilcox of Ridgeway
visited at the Henry Bartle home on
Thursday.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
YANKS EAT SELVES TO DEATH
Americans Reieased From German
Prison Camps Have Enormous
Appetites.

Washington, Jan. ia few Amer
lean soldiers, coming out Of the starya-
ton of German prison camps to the
plenty of the American army. have eat
en- themselves to death, said a medical
officers letter received here. The
cases are exceptional aid care is taken
to check the Appetite CT all return
ing men.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
$4,000 IN BONDS STOLEN
Safety Deposit Boxes of First National
Bank of LewisvIIe, Ind,
Looted

Newcastle, Ind. Jan. 13.-The First
National bank of Lewisville was rob-
bed Of about $4,000 worth of Liberty
bonds during the night About thirty
five safety deposit boxes were opened
by the bandits.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
900 Learning English.

Nearly 900 persons, in almost every
country of the world and including ina
migrants, prisoners, and many other
classes of people, are studying the
English language by correspondence
through the University of Wisconsin
Extension division.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
DEMAND HUN WARSHIP BADEN
Allies Want German BattIeship instead
Of the Uncompleted
Mackensen.

London. Jan. 13.-The German bat
tleship Baden has been demanded In
the place of the uncompleted Macken-
sen which has been surrendered to the
allies al Scapa Flow.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
THE MILWAuK EE JOURNAL

Subscriptions received at The Demo
crat Office
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-01-16
HOLLANDALE

Clement Demuth left Thursday for
Prairie du Chen, where he attends
school.
Clara and Rosetta Lund of Mt Horeb
arrived here Wednesday to visit at the
M. B. Lund home.
Miss Della Gathers of Blanchardville
visited friends here Wednesday,
Mr. and Mrs Thomas McGinnity spent
few days last week at Blanchardville.
Misses Alice and Lille Downey spent
Tuesday at Dodgeville.
Miss Hazel Bollerud is working at the
Farmers store.
Mrs Carrie Hendrickson and daughter
visited at Dodgeville Tuesday.
Mr. and Mrs George Campbell of Bar
neveld spent Thursday with relatives
here Mabel Washburn accompanied
them home.
Harold Hosking left for Beloit Fri.
dav.
Mrs Scott Campbell, who lives near
DoA nCFCIu, SpeuI Vic Wo6A db tH0 y dLucS
Swenson home.
Miss May Fallon visited at Blanch-
ardvil!e Tuesday.
Miss Alice Torphy of Ridgeway ar
rived here Tuesday to resum me teaching.
Michael FallOn of Beloit is spending
the holidays here.
Tom Conway of Zumbro Fall, Mimi,
arrived here Wednesday to visit rela-
tives.
John Dunstan left Wednesday for
Madison.
DR.. Reese of Dodgeville was a caller
here Friday.
Howard Hegeland spent Sunday at
his home here.
THE MILWAUKEE, JOURNAL
Subscriptions received at The Demo
crat Office