davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

Gone are the days OF luxurious
travel, when all good trains car
ried ladies' maids, Wallets, BARRIERS
and furnished telephone service at
all large cities. Gone are the days
when staterooms or at least sec
ton were absolutely imperative to
iastidious American travellers and
when upper berths-well, when up
per berths were simply impossible.
With the emergency cut in pas
senger service the crack excess
fare trains, the pride of all lines,
ceased to exist. The proud palaces
which once flashed through towns
and cities at a speed which reduced
miles to yards now come to grumb-
ling halts at water tanks and viii
lagos which even the largest maps
fail to record. The Overland Linz
tied is now 4 humble local, the
Twentieth Century limited and the
Rocky Mountain limited, trains OF
nationwide fame, have become leg
ends.
Stateroom is Necessary.
All of which prepares us for the
entrance Of a woman Of naughty
demeanor. She approached a clerk
in the consolidated ticket Office, and
produced a lorgnetto
81 wish to reserve stateroom on
your best train for Los Angeles"
she announced. II prefer it, in the
middle of the car, the vibration is
less.
"It is quite" began the clerk
ooh, yes, there must be an obser-
vation car on the train. just can't
stand it to be cooped up in a Pull
man car. / wish to leave tomor-
row."
"But it is quite impossible to re-
serve a stateroom for tomorrow and
besides we aren't running observa-
ton cars" choked the clerk.
He wilted under her stony gaze.
"Who is in charge of this officer"
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Declares Car Service in
Omaha 30 Years Ago
Better Than at Present

Under the headline Thirty years
ago in Omaha" in The Bee, issue
of December II, appeared this bit
of news: N
"The cars on the motor line con-
Meeting Omaha and South Omaha
began taking regular trips at 20
minute intervals"
Joe c. Martin, live stock man on
the South Side had just waited .
week" for a car to come along t.
take him to his work on the morn
ing of December II when he lamped
that little passage.
"They had good service in those
days. all right" commented Joe.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Willy Farmer Gives
Police Assumed Name
And Fools Reporters2

A farmer had just reported to
the police that two men had feeced
him out of $500 bv matching dollars.
In the hallway Of the police sta
ton on his way out Bee reporter
accosted him. The reporter ques-
toned the farmer about his loss but
refrained from taking notes.
When the tale had been told, the
reporter asked casually, where
carr we find you in case these men
are arrested?"
WELL" said the farmer. II gave
the police operator the wrong name
but my right address and telephone
number, we'll here's my right name.
I knew if she put my right name on
the report, the newspapers would
print it. If those men are arrested
get in touch with me,-here's my
name, address and telephone num-
ber."
Thank you" said the reporter.
at would be terrible to let any
newspaper men get your right name
or he'd surely print it on the front
page"
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

how Santa Claus comes through the
gas logs.
When somebody says. "If they
aren't the right size, let me know
and I'll change them for you"
When that bang in the street is 4
trolley passing over Willie's new
foot ball.
When Gladys, aged II, asks,
Shall | put the camlsole out on
the table with the rest OF my pres
ents? Tee, heel"
When mother says, II think it
was all right to give it. Willie never
used it and it was practically as
good as neww
When grandpa says annually,
We'll, first thing you know it'll be
the Fourth of July"
When mother says to father,
"Why don't you let Willie play with
the train himself for awhile?"
When Aunt Jane, stunning sweet
cider, eats a large piece of brandy
mince pie.
When any number of people say:
Just see what she sent me! And
all I sent her was 4 calendarr-
Cartoons Magazine
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
!

How his bosom swells with pride,
How he sighs in deep relief,
How he feels 4 happy thrill
That is most beyond belief.
How he laughs and shakes in glee,
How he almost chokes with Joy,
When the nurse comes down the
hall
And she whispers, Its 4 boy"
How he scow1s and shakes his fist,
How he raves and paws the air;
How he mutters to himself
Awful exclamations there.
How his mind is full Of doubt
And his brain is in a whirl, -"
When the nurse comes to his side
And she whispers, "It's girl"
How he clutches at the wall !
And he gasps to get breath,
How he reels as if to fall,
And his face turns white as death.
How he groans in his despair,
And the nurse adroitly grins,
As she meets him on the stair
And announces, "They are twins"
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

DO your Christmas shopping
,arly," is an overworked phrase, in
vented to tighten the work OF the
downtrodden working girl.
The very sound Of it should bring
the joy of Yuletide into the hearts
cf our generous male population.
What could be sweeter than to give!
And what could be nicer than to
buy what YOU'RE going to give
early, thus avoiding the rush and
giving the clerks \ chance to
breathe9
Yes, the early shopping slogan
should cause the aforementioned
male heart to leap with the JOY Of
giving, should cause him to dig
deep into his pocket and produce
the wherewith to accomplish the
early shopping, and should bring a
smile of serene contentment to his
countenance-bu it doesn't!
Man Gets Tired.
Far from it'll When Christmas
draws near and the early shopping
stuff begins to get popular, the
proverbial tired business man gets
even more tired.
He is often heard huming Chop
ms well-known funeral march and
trying to figure out why the do
your Christmas shopping bunk
would make such an excellent lyric
for that highly diverting tune.
And we'll may he be sad. How
could he be otherwise when the
very sound of the slogan warns him
that he must finance innumerable
shopping tours, that he must cen
sor two-yard list OF persons who
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Finds Diamond, Lost Over
Two Years, Safe in His Safe
Prominent Omaha Club Woman Rejoices When Absent
Minded Husband Finds Wedding Gift "Lost" in
Safety Deposit Vault for Two Years and Half.

pin. with ito beautiful stone intact
And when he told her how he
had found it, she gave him the
laugh"
II went to put some papers away
IN the safety drawer of the safe" he
told her. "But the drawer wouldn't
push clear back the way it should.
II took it out and felt blindly in
the dark, hole to find what might be
the trouble. My fingers grasped \
piece OF something soft, which had
been crammed into the crevice at
the base of the drawer slide and 10,
when ] brought it to light, it was
the ribbon on which you gave me
the bar pin we lost two and a half
years ago.
II must have put the pin in the
safe, after all, and forgotten all
about it until that suit came back
from the cleaners and then l
thought I had lost the thing"
And Mrs. Edward Johnson, prom
inent Omaha club woman, is still
giving her husband the laugh.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Bouquet of Live Human Interest Stories About People
Eligible Omaha Bachelors

Good morning, Mrs. Worden. Il
the rector inl"
How does that sound to you,
girls?
Well, sir, this week we are pre-
senting our first clergyman eligible
! bachelor, Rev. Carl Worden, assist
ant to Rev. T. ]. Mackay At All
Saints Episcopal church.
Strange thing, isn't it, that there
aren't many bachelor preachers1
You'd think that, with the small
salaries and everything, plenty of
ministers would be bachelors. But,
! no. Such is not the case. We find
there are many more bachelor law
yers, in proportion, than there are
ministers.
Why Preachers Marry.
This may be due to the fact that
the ministers have faith that the
Lord will take care of them and I
I wife as He does of the sparrows.
Surely that must be the explana-
tion.
But, be that a. it may, the fact
remains that Rev. Carl Worden 10
an, eligible bachelor.
aAre you inclined toward mar
riage?" we demanded Of him.
He, laughed loud and long.
"Well, I am not opposed to IT."
said he, "but the fair sex don't seem
70 agree with me on the PROPOSE
We told him that, with, all respect
for the cloth, we doubted this re-
mark. For we had heard several
ladies say that they thought he was
"awfully nice"
"Perhaps you haven't asked 'emF
we suggested.
Rev. Mr.. Worden laughed louder
and longer than he did the first time.
Leap Year Coming.
WELL" he said at last, next year
will be leap year and then maybe
something will happen to me-"
We remarked that we hoped 50.
On the stage, clcrgymen are in
variably pictured with solemn faces
and sepulchral voices. In real life
they aren't 50. Especially the Rev.
Carl is not so. His countenance
continually radiates sunshine, bene-
ficence, benevolence and good will
toward man (and woman). He
laughs easily. In fact. he's ~ jolly
a.. any bartender we ever knew.
And that's the way 4 clergyman
should be.
He was born on farm near Pc
toskey, Mich, and pursued his
higher education in the University
Of Michigan, University of Chicago
and Western. Theological seminary,
Chicago.
Boys His Hobby.
Having completed all this, he
came to Omaha FIVE years ago and
became rector Of st. Matthias Epis-
copal church. A year ago he be-
came assistant to Rev. 7. ]. Mackay
at All Saints.
His hobby is boys. He IL in
Juvenile court every Saturday and
some of the bad" boys are paroled
to him. He has about so under his
parole at all times. They report to
him regularly and he gives them lots
Of good advice and makes better
boys of them.
He is head Of Boy Scout Troop
No. 43, composed of South Tenth
street boys and he likes to take
them on long hikes.
He playa aoma teaRil and some
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

Twenty-eight years agA he gave
her diamond barpin for her wed
ding gift. The pin was valued at
Isl 900 then.
Two and \ half years ago she
gaze it back to him and asked him
to put it in his safety box down
town for safe keeping. Its value
had so increased that she feared to
wear il.
Several days later he came pranc-
ing home with the heart-brea aking
announcement that he had. fastened
the pin in the back of his lapel, and,
forgetting it was there, had sent the
suit to the cleaners. When the suit
was returned he could not find the
pin.
! Both Of them searched high and
low for the almost priceless jewel.
but il could not be found, and they
finally resigned themselves to its
loss.
Last Monday he proudly strut
ted into their home on Wooiworth
avenue, fairly bursting with the good
news.
He had found the precious bar
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
GENERAL STINeER WILL bEA
CANDIDATE FOR the PRESIDENCY
Remarkable Platform on Which His
Election in November Is Prac-
tically Assured.
OTHER CANDIDATES ALARMED

General A. Singer, editor of The
Bundle Bee, has at last yielded to
the demand of many prominent
voters and decided to allow his
name to be used as a candidate for
president of the United States.
This announcement startled the
entire country today.
II appreciate the honor which has
been conferred upon me-" he said
to a party of nearly half 4 dozen
friends who waited upon him in
his palatial home last week and
urged him to make the race.
IF elected" he continued, II shall
know neither color, race nor creed,
but shall endeavor to bring justice
to one and all. With the policies
which / shall put into operation,
everybody will be satisfied and
happy.
Feels Duty's Call.
While, of course, l should prefer
the ease of private life in the bosom
of my family and in the manage
ment of my publishing interests,
who am / that l should seek to
escape the call of my fellow-citizens
to the highest Office within the gift
OF the people.
Il view with alarm the course Of
our beloved country, these United
States. Whittier are we drifting?
Something must be done and I
promise you that | will do it with
all the power of my brain and hand.
| thank you"
General Stinger has prepared 4
platform on which he will make the
race. 1t is as follows:
l. Immediate reduction of the
cost of living to the level of
1910 and maybe more. Milk, 5
cents quart; bread, cents a
loaf; beefsteak, IS cents
pound; eggs, IS cents dozen,
etc.
2. Labor must have its re-
ward. Therefore, wages in all
lines of industry should be in
creased at once Gas soon as |
take office) at least 50 to IS
per cent and maybe more.
8. The pass system on all rail
roads should be restored and
free passes allowed to all
working men, professional
men and their families and
friends.
4. Capital must also be treated
fairly
S. Intoxicating liquor" should
be defined as liquor containing
more than 50 per cent alcohol.
Thisis the generals platform only
in part. He is working on it daily
and expects to have it finished soon.
His political advisers believe it will
be the most popular platform and
that rival candidates will have no
chance at all.
Bugg Campaign Manager.
]. Doodle Bugg, who was closely
associated with General Singer
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

out, nearly every community has
postmasters to be appointed and
others also need U. S. marshals,
collectors of revenue, tax collectors,
etc.
These positions" said Mr.. Bugg,
will go to those who support and
vote for General Singer"
General SINGERS election is
merely a matter Of getting enough
votes" continued Mr.. Bugg in the
lucid manner for which he is known.
"The country is demanding Singer
for president. How can there be
any doubt about the result?"
General Singer is already at
work on his campaign speeches and
is understood to be, getting up a
list of stories to tell like Lincoln
did as we'll az a set of maxims,
proverbs and terse sayings which he
is selecting from book.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Why the Con Smiled.

Traffic Cop-When l signal you to
stop, | want you to stop. The next
time it will cost you a FIVE!
Autoist-Say, brother, if you can
show me how to stop this sheet-iron
Lizard any quicker than I did I'll
give you ten!-Cartoons Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
SuREl HE'LL DO IT.

Lincoln, Neb., Dec. 32.-Beryl
Kirk returned here today and gave
himself up to Warden Fenton of
the state penitentiary.
II heard that Governor McKelvie
had revoked my furlough, so ] took
the first train for Lincoln and am
ready to serve the remainder of my
sentence" he said.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
HIGHJACKETs.

EAST Lynne News in Clay County Sum-,
Do you know what "High-
jackets" are? Well, if you don't
read the daily papers. 1t seems
like Omaha is just full of them.
Highjackets are some awfully
dry people and we would not
care much if that kind of people
only were in Omaha, but some
time ago one of our neighbors
went to town Saturday evening
as usual and when they got
,--home that night, they noticed
someone had been in the house,
in every corner of it, in the eel
lar and UP in the attic, but moth
ing was missed only half bottle
of blackberry bitters, when
there was plenty of good stuff
to take. Well, our neighbors
stay at home nights now to look
out for the highjackets.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

tie clerk for something nice in silk
hose bushes when she asks what
size and adds hastily that they're
for the wife.
There are other attendant discom-
forts to Christmas. Relatives have
a way of arriving on Christmas eve
and occupying your favorite and
only bed, making your eight-pound
turkey look like a bantam hen and
giving you bright red neckties in ex-
change for something really nice
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

Young mans cynical grin, causes
him to grit his teeth in despair.
Accompanies Friend Wife.
. A picture of a long cared burro,
struggling under load twice its
size, hanging over his desk in the
Office, causes him to swear violently
that he will never be made a beast
of burden, even if it is Christmas.
But a beast of burden he becomes,
nevertheless. He follows the wife
from department to department,
from store to store, shouldering an
ever-increasing burden without pro-
test. He even ventures to do little
shopping of his own-buy something
for the wife, you know-and curses
himself for waiting until the day be-
fore Christmas.
Silk Hose Ordeal.
Stores are disgustingly crowded;
clerks are tired. He gets lost in the
ribbon department, when he didn't
even want to buy ribbons. He
stammers when he asks a pretty lit
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
A LARGE PARISH.

(Johnson County JournA1.1
A daughter born to Mr.. and
Mrs. William Parish Thanks
giving day was the fifteenth
child born to them. With one
exception, this is the largest
family in Johnson county. Mr..
and Mrs. Lawrence Morrissey,
residing west Of Tecumseh, are
the parents of IL children.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
Or, Can It Be Our Ignorance7 :

Or, Can It BE Our IgnoranceP
Out of list If 90 presidents and
chief executives of the great rail-
roads of America which appeared
in a recent advertisement we had
heard of only II. Sic est gloria
mundi! In other words, what's the
use!
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
= IDLE TEARS.

We didn't feel overwhelmed with
pity last week for the youth who
"Weeps Silently at Bier of Sweet
heart" who had killed herself be-
cause>of his alleged treatment of her.
His weeps don't restore her young
life.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

out.
Oh! You Mistletos.
= But after all Christmas comes but
once a year. It's generally a happy
day, especially when the pretty
daughter Of the next door neighbor
drops in and stands under the mis-
tletoe and the wife is in the kitchen
and can't see what happens.
It's lots of fun, too, to open funny
shaped packages, even if you know
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21
The eyer sing plant i;a"
exciting pa3t1me and ex-
ceedS the: famous Game
lofR5t office

they don't contain. what you want.
Besides you know there won't be
any more packages to carry till next
year.
And strange as it may seem the
average male in his New Years res
olutions generally includes a re-
solve to do his Christmas shopping
early. What's more, he keeps the
resolve until next Christmas.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-12-21

]. Doodle Bugg, who was closely
associated with General Singer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-19
CHICAGO BUYING BIG
900 Have Made Army Supply Pur-
chases IN Windy City.

Chicago. Aug. 19.-On the first day
Of Uncle Sans bargain sale of army
food. more than $4,000 Chicagoans
made purchases, while at least that
many were turned away. according to
estimates today by officials of down
town department stoes where sales
were made.
Early today-as occurred yesterday
long lines began to form at the en-
frances to the stores. Before 6 a. m.
waiting for the doors to open.
At the postoffice. clerks were
swamped with orders from citizens.
No estimate of the number was forth
coming today, but officials expressed
a fear that department store sales
might exhaust supplies before appli-
cants for postoffice service could be
satisfied.
That was the step Chicago took for
immediate relief from high costs of
living. Meanwhile
The government here took steps to
see that sugar hoarders and food prof
iteers diSgorge before they are forced
to walk the plank.
In the first suit to prove the power
and authority of the government in
Furnishing alleged violations of the
food control act, District Attorney
Clyne late yesterday filed suit against
Charles Pope, head of a sugar re-
finery for $4,000 alleged excess prof
its.
Clyne declared the money will have
to be paid to the food administration
Clyne last night named IL cents as
a fair retail price for sugar in Chi
cago. He declared he will prosecute
retailers and distributors who sell
above that amount.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-19
SNAP SHOTS
AT HOME NEWS

small fire occurred in the Branner
street yiaduct this morning.
Probate Judge Ralph II. Cav today is
sued a marriage license to John W. Taller
shull. "a, Manhattan, and Frances InskeeP,
20. Manhattan.
The final dress rehearsal for the Mother
Goose pageant Labor day will be held at
PelIetier's tea room. Saturday. August 30,
from J. until 4 O'Clock.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. H. Kline. ITO West street,
have received message from their son.
Corp. Paul j. Kline, stating that he has
arrived from overseas at Camp Merritt. He
was with the Quartermaster corps In
France eleven months, stationed most Of the
time at Tours.
Alleging that the Forbes Milling COM
pany. of Topeka. Is infringing on his
patent process of grinding corn, John Is.
Watkins, Of st. Louis. has filed a petition
asking that the mill be restrained from
deriving further benefit from the process
or Of selling or disposing Of 1t in any way.
Two ex-soldiers who saw service in
France with the quartermaster's depart
ment have been appointed to the places In
the Santa Fe office here made vacant by
the resignation of John Dee and c. F. LODI
ter. E. F. Evans will take Lodter's place
and Leo f. Mooney will take up Does
work as head Of the bookkeeping depart;
the railroad.
Owing to the fact that all bids were
above the figures of the city engineers esti-
was made this morning by the commits
sioners in the meeting held for making
the award. The city will advertise fol
bids at once. No award can be made until
some contractor makes a bid below the
engineers estimate. Bids were received to-
day from C. C. Clark, Gurtler & Co., and
w. s. Fulton.
The two tennis courts, used by the Sun.
day school of the First Methodist church
located between Eighth and Ninth streets
on Topeka avenue, are again in condition
TO be used after being out Of commission
for more than two months on account o.
the wrecking of the building to the south
of the courts. All of the members of the
church and Sunday school and their friends
are urged to arrange to use the courts thu
balance of the season,
The Woman's Home Missionary society
of the First Methodist church will meet a
o O'Clock tomorrow morning at the home
| of Mrs. T. c. Whitaker, 1905 West Nintl
street All members are requested to b.
present, as DIR. Q. p. Zook will review thi
STUDY of Missions" the new text book OF
| the society. Assisting hoStesses will be
Mrs. Clara Curry. Mrs. W. NJ. Gillian. Mrs
+. A. Faville. Mrs. A. A. OFT. Mrs. n. ]
| Stevenson, Mrs. E. w. Grindell. Mrs. W
H. Rutter, Mrs. Jerry Chubb, Mrs. p. J
| Clevenger. Miss Sarah Beck and Miss MARI
| Stevenson
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-19
GET zap ISLAND.
U. S. May Obtain Control for
Communication Purposes. =
Wilson Says q. S. Needs Such
Base in Pacific.

Washington. Aug. 1s.-The United
States may obtain control OF the Island
of zap. in the Pacific, for naval and
communication purposes. 1t developed
today at President Wilson's conference
with the senate foreign relations COM
mittee.
Japan's secret agreement with Great
Britain for disposal OF Shantung and
Germany's Pacific islands would not
interfere with the United States getting
an island in the Pacific, Wilson said.
American naval authorities have
pointed out the importance of the
United States having such q base. and
Wilson said he specified at the peace
conference that control of zap should
be reserved for a general conference
which is to be held on the ownership
and operation of cables.