Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-01-21
BH7MORE OSWALD
The Diary of Hapless Recruit

MAY 23.-This has not been a par
1Vl ticularly agreeable day, although
to woman no doubt II would have
been laden with moments Of exquisite
ecstacy. Feminine apparel for me
has lost for over the charm OF mys.
terry that formerly touched it with
enchantment. Its innermost secret
has been revealed and its revelation
has brought with il its full burden of
woe. 1 have always admired women
collectively and individually in the
past, but after today's experience my
admiration is tinged with pity. The
source of these reflections lies in no
less an article than a corset. AS
show girl, it has been my lot TO be
provided with one OF these fiendish
devices Of medieval days. 1t is too
much. Yet ! dare say there are
women who would gladly be poured
into a new corset every day of their
lives. They can have mine for the
asking. The whale is a noble animal
and love every bone in its body, SO
long as it keeps them there. SO
tightly was my body clutched in the
embrace OF this vicious contraption
that | found It impossible to inhale my
much needed cigarette. The smoke
would descend no further than my
throat. The rest of me was closed
port, a roadway blocked 10 traffic.
But there were also other devices,
other soft, seductive understrappngs.
know them all to their last most
intimate detail. l feel that now could
Join a woman's sewing circle ana talk
with as much authority and wisdom
as the most veteraned corset wearer
present. Ny views would be radical
perhaps, but at least they would have
the virtue Of being refreshing.
However, / can see some good com.
ing out of my unavoidably acquired
knowledge of female attire. In future
DAYS, while my wife is out purchasing
shirts and neclities for me, / can
easily employ my time in shopping
around Fifth avenue in search of the
correct thing in lingerie for her. 1t
will be a great help to the house.
hold.
May 2S.-T am slowly forming back
into my pristine shape, but only after
having been freed from bondage for
some hours. After several more sodas
| guess I will have filled out TO my
usual dimensions around the waist
line, but when ] consider the long
days of womanhood stretched out be
fore me in the future ! Will admit II
is with sinking not only Of the waist,
but also of the heart.
More indignities have been heapeo
upon me- Why did | ever take up
the profession OF a show girl? Today
I fell into the clutches of tho BARRIERS.
and such an outspoken lot they were.
whats that" asked one OF them
NJ I stood rather nerVously before him
with barred chest.
why. that | replied a uifie dis
concerted. that's my chest
Honestly. now. young feller' CON
tiuucd my. first tormentor, are you
serious when YOU try to tell us that
is your Chest?"
That's the part the doctor always
listened to whenever ] had a cold,
replied as indifferently as possible,
We'll" he replied, probably the
doctor was right, but TO the impartial
observer ii would seem TO be, as my
friend Tony so accurately observed
the bottom part of your neck
"Tt really doesn't matter much after
all" I replied. "You.all were not
sent here to establish the location of
the different parts of my anatomy.
anyway"
well, sir" lie began briskly, nov
that we've settled that. what do YOU
want me to do TO it,"
why shave il, Of course" I re-
piled bitterly. That's what you're
here for, isn't il? All us show girls
nave got 10 have our chests shaved"
An after I've shaved your chest,
dear" he asked in a soothing voice,
what DO you want me to do with it?"
with what" | replied, enraged,
with my Chest?"
NO he answered easily, mot your
chest. but that one poor little pitiful
hair that adorns it, DO you want me
TO send il home to your ma, all tied
around with a pink ribbon
saw no reason to reply TO this
insult. hut stood unea silly and tried to
maintain my dignity while he lathered
me with undue elaboration. When it