The mirror., 1919-05-08

censure is of course fatal to agree
able converse, and habit of criti-
cising or contradicting on the spot
the statements of others is un-
pleasant even in a comrade or
friend, and more so in casual ac-
quaintainces. Engrossing the con-
versation is another ill-mannered
practice to which even the posses
sion of a remarkable wit in the
speaker will fail to reconcile the
aggrieved listeners.
Emerson, in his admirable essay
on Manners" points out that un-
derneath the best manners must
lie some spiritual power or as
tendency perceived by every OBJ
server, although held in reserve.
The gentleman or the lady ought
to possess personal influence dis
tinct, though often unconscious,
as we'll as beauty of form or fea-
ture and grace in action, and to
that end should be manifestly
truthful, straightforward and self
reliant person. 1t is impossible for
an untruthful, insincere, fawning
man to have the best manners,
although he may be polite in the
ordinary sense.
The aforementioned difference
between good manners and good
breeding, namely, that the latter
involves a long education and the
acquisition of much knowledge and
skill, whereas the former does not,
is quite as important in democratic
society as in aristocratic. Peas
ants, barbarians and illiterate per-
sons often exhibit some of the best
elements of good manners, but their
experience of life has not given
them access to good breeding.
Selfshness, ignorance, stupidity
and habitual inattention to the de-
sires and claims of others are the
chief causes of bad manners: and
since these qualities are rather
common among mankind and some
admixture of them often exists in
meritorious characters, bad man.
ners are not uncommon. Like good
manners, bad manners have uni
versal quality, since they are due
to the absence of sound moral
qualities, or of fine perceptions, or
of the indispensable conditions of a
refined and beautiful life.
Persons of good sense can exer-
else great freedom in adapting their
manners to their surroundings and
their companions of the moment,
provided they exhibit composure,
gentleness and disinterestedness.
Nevertheless there is, on the whole, a
remarkable agreement about GER
tain points of good manners among
people that exhibit strong differ
ences in other respects. Thus, the
soldiers attitude of respect is COM
mon to many peoples. He stands
erect, with his heels together, and
touches his cap. or fez, with his
right hand. Gentle speech is the
same thing in all languages, since
it is a matter of tone and infection.
Emerson's remark that "a gentle
man makes no noise; a lady is
serene.' is of universal application.
Locke. in his Thoughts on Edu-
cation" gives very sensible direc-
tions: How to form a young
gentleman as he should be. 1t
is fit his governor should be him
self well-bred, understanding the
ways of carriage and measure of
civility in all the variety of persons,
times and places, and keep his pu-
pill, as much as his age requires,
constantly to the observation of
them. This is an art not to be
learnt or taught by books" These
excellent directions for the bring
ing up of young gentleman by a
well-bred governor suggest one ex-
PLANTATION of the great difficulty