The Washington herald., 1919-04-08
Oh, Yes, Try Telling Your " 1c
She's Getting Old!
Thoughts from E. W.
Howe's Monthly.

A good many years sso, one OF the
Vanderbilts was accused Of saying:
The public be damned" He never
said Il. but how Vanderbilt was
abused because OF the rumor that he
did say IL!
II was charged that he said Il in
connection with the railroad business.
But now that the government has
charge OF the railroads, how perfect
ly il carries out a policy OF The
public be damned" A gentleman tells
me that in New Orleans he wanted 10
buy q railroad ticket He took his
place IN line and waited ffty-fve
minutes before he could transact his
business. And when he finally reached
clerk, he was told he was lucky TO
be waited on in fifty-fivc minutes
This is the railroad reform W
have accomplished after years OF e.
fort And rates are y per cent high
er than under private oRnership. with
a tremendous deficit looming up.
Some Of our wisest men say the
proposed league OF nations is q stint
lar reform"
That is the trouble with Us fool
Americans: we scream and aEItate
for a certain thing. Claiming Il will
solve our problems; and then dis
cover it isn't what we needed-sU our
work for reform has been wasted
When will we be able 10 realize that
we are all extremists, and pull for tho
middle of the road?
Occasionally I see a man who Is
proud. l don't understand how any
man can feel that way, every hour
of the day, something comes up To
humiliate me
A man party was held in our neigh
borhood lately, and Log8nberry Juice
was served. There was consequently a
great desire among the men to be in
vited. One man was discussed as. a
guest, but was finally left out be-
cause he always monopolizes the con-
versation; when he is present, no one
else gets a chance TO say a word
You men might remember this: maybe
you miss many desirable invitations
because you do all the talking.
Men will do anything for health. *
cept cat properly. They will buy pills.
and submit to dangerous operations.
but the remedy is simpler diet
Same way with our public affairs. We
will try big experiments at any time
and cost. but refuse TO accept the real
remedy, which is simple common
sense.
Tho most common favor IN the
world is frying bacon. And 1t beats
orange blossoms.
We hear much OF the importance OF
high thinking: there never was an
essay in which Il was not COMMENDED.
President Wilson has made high
thinking as much of a Joke as reform
has become. Every time a serious
question comes Up, he writes a frivo-
lous piece OF high thinking. and that,
he says. is the remedy.
I predict that the hiEh thinking OF
Woodrow Wilson during his occu-
pancy OF the White House will do
more TO insure the return OF material
ism than any other thing that has oc-
CURED in many generations.
And what" asks q ponderous
writer in The Nation, will the dead
say"s
think / may safely predict that the
dead will not say anything.
A paragraph in a Western paper
reads: THE Kansas hosse OF repre-
sentatives has appropriated $4,000 TO
provide Kansas headquarters in New
York with reading and writing facIu-
ties. and thus show returning Kansas
soldiers a good time"
When the people sober up a little
more, there viii be an Investigation Of
that fool scheme. also. and many COM
plants from returning Kansas soa-
oiers