The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-11-06
A NEW LINE
OF GAGS
BY "Buss' BasH.

WASHINGTON. Nov. e,-Wash.
inotor, o. c., oomss 90 olos TO
soundinQ and acting Ike Washing
ton, deceased, thst there aln't much
tun 10 Il, Woody travelled oil over
the world, brt Washington 10 tk
only town no ever got sick In. And,
after giving the works tho perpen.
dicviar ard horizontal a GUY can't
blame Mr.. Wilson. The buru has
folded up llke a morning glory At
twilight. g .Ac
Tho armi.,lcs was an rwrui humping
20 the rent hukznrds IN tho city OF Mag
u,flcent Distances, They call " thAt
because there wee ~ many majors and
co,ouels down here keeping a mngnfi.
cant stretch between themselves and
tho war. They were all on the west
Nrn front. figuring from Atlantic CITY
All the swivel chair cavalry IN demo-
hiljzed or de -Washlngt onized. and rents
are sinking like tho crust on brides
first pie,
The town has collapsed from hnN
q million back 10 the original popu-
Vat,or, which consisted ef $50. 900
1smocrats and the same number OF
Republicans waiting 10 get their Jobs
osck, No mere Limousine pr'ees sor
hal, rooms. They say there was
ho>el keeper down hsv WHO used 20
rent q comb OUT n % much tom
Ns wac peddilnQ eontn,vtat'on t'ok'
etc Tor the eevoisiro door, and was
lust osttIno rsady TO tack Q taxi.
meter on TIE roller towel when the
kaiser took II on tho aolls loop for
Holland and points north.
Grabbing a snifter In this mans towr
10 a tougher job than keeping a crease
IN n mail order catalog suit, The h'ul,
barometer shows an absolute lack o'
fermsnted humidity All the powder
works hre now United chcroot stores
One nose polish txzaar has been u NED
into a bird and animals store. You
look In and see EN-. In the old ony'
you used TO look out and sec en-. Ihl'
IL no place for the capital OF the nation
We met an old timer VINO used to play
Haneoek's and shoornaksrs. Ont
shooter used 10 mako th's baby sleks'
than q Cocks tourist on the seeons
DAY out. ~ never could drink mor'
than ons q . time and never eou'l
keep n parked after ne got u. Do yo,
think thls veehokus wee Glad 20 plp'
peph,blsh7 Fat chance. Win the pow
dsrs sn gone. ne cries himself SOU
thinking of the days whom NJ used u
Get siek and waste T.
There's rio, In Congress every day
That bunch agrees with Woody k'
heat with a cei'uloid collar. The PreH'
6ents veto Ia up In the garage for re
pairs. He sprnined Il on tho wartime
enforcement act. Booxo 10 deader thar
any guy who couldn't swim At the time
Noah built tho ark. n you have n oei
lar load OF throat varnish put plentS
~ postage on II. for II has TO 70 a lonp
way. A long way, brothers, Yea bo.
The only excitement 10 burrine en-
barber TO alvS you A double order q
hslr tonic and emitting II ~ II fsak
down your double chin. saturday nigh
10 nothing but halrcuts and shavir0
Ovys hang out In the barber works 10
tive srd six hours having their sku'''
decorated like the erass p,ot In front o
. suburban railroad station Nothln,
slss 10 II. The law makers wfAde wash
ireton dry and 40 some b'rrbo eh'rped
n don't care who makss the laws .,
'sns a. ! don't have 70 live there"
All the old. time buffet lizards arr
getting desperate. Most OF 'em ar
getting married Old Skeets Watson
the hest golfer In the old Rigs House
Ia now todd ng around pushing a si'
passenger baby carringe. Riley Wlsoi
hasn't Ind hlH glass eye out In months
NIany's the time tho man In the whit
irron took I, for security We nlpe'
Unclo Joe Cannon sitting In the 'oobl
NJ tho Raleigh looking Ms " he hs'
mislald his croche'ing or something
When the Gun sets here u pushes
q button that rings ourfew. " NE
NIGHT has a thousand eyes. they are
oil black ana blue.
Tho lawmakers sUrc gummed th
carnival. But there Ia no use sguawk
ing. There are two things In NE W
must stand for One Ia politicians. AM
The other is paying u laundry for losln'
your BOZ.
white Outpoints Wilmer.
DETROIT. Nov, G--Jabes white, IN
fast Albany, ~ Y. bnntamweisht VIII
defeated Pal Moore here recently. Las
Risht defeated Eddie Wilmer, Of Pitts