Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Little Talks by
Bedtr ice Fdirfdc

Does the mere consciousness that
she is loved content a woman?
Or does she long to be dominated
are subdued to be loved with an in
sistent and tempestuous fury? Does
she yearn, in short, for what one of
my latest correspondents calls the
"cave-man stuff"
1t depends upon the woman.
There will always be women who
will be content with a formal WOO
ing, and there will always be others
whose temperaments will demand
that love pursue and overmaster
them.
To my mind, the young lover who
has just written me displays some
thing more than the usual masculine
insight in guessing what it is that
his sweetheart unconsciously de-
mands.
"I am twenty-three,' he writes me,
land have a good position and sal
ary on which I could easily support
a wife and home. I am in love with
a girl who I think loves me. But
when 1 spoke to her of marriage she
evaded the question. We have been
going about for about two years.
Must use the 'cave-man stuff in
order to win her? Or give her up?
But why give her up, my dear
young man, when you love her and
understand so perfectly what she
wants? Unless, perhaps, you are
conscious of a defect in your own
temperament Perhaps you yourself
haven't yet fully learned what love
is.
Women Without Temperament.
There are plenty of women, un-
troubled by what we call tempera-
ment, who are content to lead cool,
formal, external sort of life. They
compare their suitors from the
standpoint of prudence, and they are
capable of marrying man for
whom they have merely gentel lik-
ing. because they want to get settled
in life. They enjoy the distinction of
being engaged and the pleasant fuss
| of being married, and they delight
in settling up the. machinery and
ceremonial of housekeeping. And
they expect the lover to play his part
dCC6pldDly III lIllS SERIES VI IllSS.
But they are quite willing that he
shall express all the emotion he has
through flowers. candy and jewelry.
They are relieved if they find that
lovemaking can be reduced to a min
imum.
Life isn't a drama to them, or a
song. It's business that they want
to manage as shrewdly as possible,
and with an economical expenditure
of emotional strength.
But this isn't the sort of girl my
correspondent has fallen in love
with.
He has found a girl who is con-
genial mentally and who is an enter
tanning companion and who seems to
him fair to look upon. He realizes
that he is of manageable age and
that he has a comfortable income.
He suggests, politely and consider
ately, that they establish a domestic
partnership. Perhaps he is just a
little light and casual and incidental
in making this suggestion of his, be-
cause he doesn't wish to put himself
in the position of being rebuffed.
Why Hasn't He Won Her?
But he doesn't expect the girl he
has chosen to be light, also. That
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matter is something he isn't prepar-
ed for. He knows she likes him. He
believes she has good reason to.
What in the world can be the matter
with her? He gives the matter a
good deal of thought.
At last a suspicion comes to him.
This girl friend of his isn't like some
other girls he has known. She has a
heart. She has emotions. There is
something very real about her. II
she promised to love a man, she
would mean it.
Can it be that before she makes
| any such promise, she expects to be
made love to?
To tell the truth, though, he be-
lieves himself in love; he shrinks
from love- making. That is, he'd like
very much to kiss her once or twice
and give her an engagement ring and
cultivate sense. of possession in re-
gard to her.
But love-making in the grand
style, love-making that demands
phrases he knows he could never
think of, dramatic scenes and serious
promises and excessive protestations,
and above all, that high-handed way
of beating down a woman's more or
ASoo AdiitL IcciSLduCC slndb hc TdLHeT
fiippantly refers to as "cave-man
istuff"-well, frankly, all that isn't in
hts line.
It's too much to ask of him, he
thinks. Isn't it enough IL you ex-
press wish to marry a girl? Ought
not that to content her? Why need
she be coy and evasive? Why need
she hold out for something that he
hasn't got to offer?
COunterfeiting Love.
Shall he confess that he hasn't 1t
Or shall he pretend that ne has? +?
That is. shall he fake" his love-
making. Or shall he withdraw from
the situation altogether, and when
the time comes round console him.
self with a different type OF girl?
Frankly. It is a problem.
One can't soberly counsel a young
man nf the oaav-k0inw lluamo1affana1 /