davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22
Showing That 1t Is Pretty Hard to Lose the Liquid That Lures
By LOANE GORDON

The state OF Michigan went dry BY
legislative enactment That was
months and months ago. Detroit
voted against prohibition. but the
rural sections outvoted the metropolis
and the saloons put UP their shutters
OF course that didn't make Detroit
really and truly dry. The police au-
thOrities. who ought 10 know. say that
out OF 200 saloons in Detroit that
We're voted out in the fall OF 1916.
about 1000 continued 70 do BUSINESS
modified and furtive business, 70 be
sure. but they stuck. The same pro
portion is said 20 hold good through
out the state. For the properly intro
duced customer in any one Of these
supposedly denatured saloons. a glass
Of near beer would receive an injec-
ton OF authority that would make the
purchaser enter into an immediate
quarrel with himself.
There is a yarn af1oat about the
sort OF stuff that was solo in a certain
Kentucky town a few years ago
Enter a colored BROTHER
Whisky" he remarks 10 the q
keep.
Ten cents" responds the keen
eyed dispenser Of liquid losseness'
And say. Niger" he adds. when
you drink that. go on outside. We
don't want no trouble in here"
a lot OF that general sort became
current. so 70 speak. in Michigan dur-
ing the period following the prohibit
ton enactment and preceding the de-
cision Of the Michigan Supreme Court,
a decision which promulgated a com
g-w4Hw- nnuHrrufu ~ tho layU- fha II
was not a crime TO be seized and
possessed of '1ikker"-that one might
not be rudely searched-that one
might. in brief. tote whisky into
Michigan and drink whisky in Mich
igan and become pifflicated in Michi-
gan to ones hear desire, so long as
one didn't acquire and exploit his
red eye commercially. That Ia to say.
the Supreme Court figured II out n a
there is nothing illegal nor inherently
criminal in merely having intoxicants
in ones possessiOn-or system
Dnisent Officials.
Heretofore enterprising guardians
Of the public veal had stationed them
selves along the state border and
frisked the traveller on his way. II
he had drop or two in his suitcase
or trunk. he was hailed into court ana
fined The diligent officials even en-
ployed the instruments Of science TO
aid them in their pursuit Of the demon
rum-and the passing p~ocketbook.
S-tethoscopes were used to detect the
gurgle. Birmingham, Alabama. was
the first spot on the prohibition map
TO equip its police department with
s~tethoscopes. Cecil CASTOR. city ply
stefan down there. found 1t tut. But
that is another tale. The village con-
sta-buIe along the Ohio-Michigan Dor
der embraced and adopted the stetho-
scope as though II were his very own.
Through II he would listen TO the
beating of the heart OF a pallid suit
case-to the throbbling OF a high
booze-pressured trunk
II there was q gurgle-blooey!
II seems. from all the evidence a
able. that il is totally impossible 10
still the beating Of a liquor-laden
volise. Shaken. II betrays unmistak-
abb symptoms OF liquid content
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

m N~aine-dear. dry and desperate
Maine. * Is said-yyhcre the coinn
was first utilized Kansas adopted the
idea and staged IL properly and proit-
ably Down along the Missouri border
so goes The tale-a funeral procession
sgddcued the o~nIookers one dark and
dolcful day. II came from kansas
city and was headed for the tow OF
the same name which lies lust across
the Kansas state line. Just why any
one should resort 10 collins 10 get
liquor into Kansas. so long as the sup
ply OF sugar barrels holds out. Is a
thing 10 wonder at; maybe they were
practicing. But. anyhow. this funeral
procession crossed the border sadly
and solemnly and the traffic police
men made way for IL. There was a line
Of carriages back of the hearse and
the mOurners were numerous and wet
eyed, apparently. That cortege sim
ply spread gloom all over the neigh
bOrhOOd.
In the midst Of life there is death!
Repent. oh brother. lest it be too
late!
Some Are COrpseS.
All Of which was quite conventional
and all that, except hat funeral do
iugs got TO be a habit. And they
didn't change the mourners. The same
crowd kept suffering the pangs OF
parting with loved ones until even the
officers of the law grew uneasy about
il. Then they stopped q funeral pro-
cession one day and examined the
corpse. Old John Barleycorn. He had
died again. The coffin was plumb full
OF Old John. But not that, the car
riages in which the heartbroken rela-
tiyes had been committing across the
line were likewise laden. Each time
this procession crossed the Kansas
Missouri border. according 10 reliable
estimators. the material for 500 Ink
embroidered 1ags were imported into
Kansas.
This same plan was also tried I'm
Michigan once and worked well until
a fordcar jumped off a twig one day,
and bit the hearse. causing disaster
and the spilling OF much cofhned whis-
Ky.
But. to return TO Kansas. Why go
70 extremes. as suggested above. TO
import likker into the Sunflower
State? The Kansas City CIo) branch
of a well-known Milwaukee beer max
ing establishment built an enormous
warehouse a good many years ago
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

through a stethoscope. A kit-bag suf-
fering from s-alcoholis
simply can't get away with it
But that is all of an earlier Michigan
day than the one OF which we sing.
When the Supreme Court decision
came. the lid lifted and the Toledo
rush began. The federal authorities
butted in later and checked the flood
which threatened to inundate Henry
Ford's state, but Michigan will never
be the same again. Toledo is gradual
~ coming back to normal. that is to
say. is replenfshing. For a while, II
looked as though Toledo might suffer.
Detroit got nearly all OF 1t in eight
hectic days.
Maine has been officially dry since
ISL II was the first State In the
union 10 ban intoxicants; that Is, "a
make the liquor traffic illegal The
Maine constitution contains a provi-
sion which outlaws LIQUOR.
Fire Disclosures.
A few years ago the city OF Bangor
was swept by hre. The business cen.
ter Of the town was destroyed. II was
one Of the most disastrous
tons in the history OF the State. The
mayor Of the city OF Bangor was
t~hrobbinsly alive 70 the danger that
might follow the Reorganization and
confusion brought about by the vast
disaster. Wherefore. being a pruden;
man and stickler for the prophecies as
well. he issued a proclamation order.
Ing all the saloons I'm Bangor to close
They did. But opened later.
Which gives birth 20 this thought.
II any person suffers from thirst VI
Maine-way. he is simply a mutt-a
plain mutt
Whisky. sardines. Holsters and
tourists T among Names most
acute distresses and sources Of rev.
enue. And insofar as the first men
toned is concerned. Maine seems &c
be brazenly hypocritical about IL
DRINKS and d~isorderlies and annual
increases in liquor consumption
don't appear 10 be at all out OF
order in Maine. The present in
habitants Of hat State. IL seems
were BORN into prohibition and ac-
cept il as an accident OF birth. like
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

searched mountains Of ~suitcases and
frisked an army Of suspiciously bull
ging gentlemen Of color who came
across the Maryland line. On one
notable occasion. they hooked a
colored brother who had thirty-six
pockets in his clothes-each pint
size. When they backed him into
the central station and unloaded him
he looked like an 'after-taking" pic
ture in a patent medicine almanac.
But when il came TO automobile
"rum-runners," as they call them in
Toledo. that was something else
again. Spare tires were filled with
LIQUOR. False bottoms were built
into machines. in which dozens or
quart bottles could be cleverly con-
cealed. A machine was found in
which the seat cushions were made
Of rubber and pumped full Of whis-
XIV. SO great was the profit in buy
ing liquor in Baltimore and selling
il in Washington. that even children
and women got into the game. And
the cheater got 20 cheating in new
ways. Men in uniform were vic
timized 10 an almost unbelievable
extent. One thrifty individual piled
his trade along Pennsylvania ave-
nue. so openly that he became the
town joke.
Cold Tea.
And he didn't violate the law
Like 10 buy some cold tea?' he
would whisper cautiously 10 a man
in uniform as he sidled UP 70 him
on tho big Av'noo.
Would he2 Surest thing YOU know.
Five dollars a quart. zap. but
don't open it around where anyone
could sec you. Police getting nigh
" suspicious
No soldier was likely 20 open II
where anyone could see him and
the warning was just part OF the
stage setting.
Whereupon cap" would produce a
fve-dollar bill and the tea merchant
would scUttle up an alley and return
shortly with a quart bottle OF reddish
looking liquor.
Imagine. II Won can. the thirsty SOL
der man trekking rapidly 10 his no.
tel. Picture him. in YOUR minds eve.
waiting impat.ertly for the elevator n
RESPOND 20 his irsistent ringing Gaze
upon him inserting the key into the
door softly and carefully. Observe
llNU INNNAAL.AH= - ALA hEANEN anu a.
smile OF anticipation and then-just
imagine II. nv brothers-and then
opening up a bottle of-cold tea
"Ach Gotti'' as the ex-Kaiscr might
remark.
Booze. red-eve. merry mucilaEe. oh
be-toyful. disturbance; call Il what
you will. is being transported hither
and and yon between the Gases and
the desert wastes in coats and cans.
shoes and shaving mugs. dishes and
busters. II Is being condensed. evapo-
rated. camouflaged. until the boot
logger measures ID. IN a way. 20 the
famous wonderful pelican.
Whose bill holds more than his belly
can.
Who keeps IN his beak enough food
for a week.
And don't see how IN the hellycau."
Collins Shucks, collins have become
commonplace as booze carriers. IL was
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

snake attacks. II North Dakota we're
in the real rattle snake belt. the NOR
tally would be frightful.
UnIeveI Levels.
And yet
A spirit level IS a perfectly proper
instrument.
No one should keep house without
a spirit level.
E~nterprisins agents impressed 1t
forcibly upon the scandinavian gentle
men who manicure the prairie wastes
and reclaim the forest Businesses and
fens Of northern North Dakota. that
spirit levels are among the very
necessary democratic adjuncts.
We bane bust Won leveI,' became
one Of the North Dakota s~alutations.
"Skol' responded ole as he tipped
a tube.
The brand OF spirit level most in de-
mand in North Dakota became obese.
as it were. One frail glass contained
enough alcohol to paint visions OF
Bergen fjords on the brain OF any
Norseman.
Spirit levels were purchased by the
cord. And there was Joy and cheer
and trouble in lumber camps and on
North Dakota ranch.
Then Old Man Avarl>e got into the
game and a Job lot OF spirit levels
containing vast quantities Of wood
alcohol were sold to unsuspecting and
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

when West Virginia went OF the
water wagon. a Kentucky mountain
got into the bootlesginE business IN
side OF three weeks. Il B. a JOINS. hiSn.
smooth sort OF a uuCr-aiu and the
trail across its top leads from Ken
tucky right over trc West Virginia
border. 4 Wei fortified and properly
EoOpel kcg OF moolsli-e could T-de
happily into West Virginia from
the top Of that kcntuck emin-
hence And many a one a
made the Journey. For the revenue
officer 10 attempt 70 interview q speec-
ing key Of the sort Of stun that
comes from a Kentucky still, after Il
has accumulated momentum and pur-
pose. is an extremely hazardous under
taking. To be sure, a keg might oe
traced 70 its destination, but even then
an investigator would have 10 DC
spr. rightly and diligent and while his
attention was devoted 10 the original
key. he couldn't possibly intercept as
followers. That particular West Viz
ginia locality which enjoys the neigh
borship Of the Kentucky mountain
never has gone dry and probably never
will until the laws OF gravitation are
repealed
IN NAFElhAds
But old Virginia hasn't been idle IN
the matter OF irrigatinE the arid sDots.
Norfolk and Newport News, Hamp-
ton and Old Point Comfort-all those
Virginia places where the vast move
ment Of troops and supplies for Eu-
rope changed the currents OF activity
from trickling brooklets into rushing
torrents, came under a double ban so
far as alcoholic beverages We're con-
cerned. There was the state law. and
on top OF IL. the military regulations.
Gen. Grote Hutchinson was the war
time commandant Of that beehive ter
ritory and he was sleepless in his ef-
forts TO bar John BarleycOrn. II Is
even charged hat he went on the
water WACO himself. which is said
to be an unusual exhibition OF self-de-
NAL on the part OF a high AMY Of
icer. But neither Gen. Hutchinson nor
the men he assigned to the task of en-
forcing the regulations could keep Up
with the ingenuities OF the tr~afficking
rum merchants.
over In Norfolk one chap had him
self Incorporated as a company the
stated purpose Of which was TO deal
in plumbers supplies. The coastwIse
ships from New York brought his cor
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22
MULES, RAISINS AND LEVELS.

Things are not always what they seem.
1t has ever been so, though we have just learned to define
it by "camouflage."
The government says we ar doomed to be "dry" after
July l. There is considerable gloom. The cup that cheers has
many tpplers. That sans cup has been banished before by
statute. But its contents still leak where it give most salts
faction.
How! It's an interesting story involving mules, raisins.
cold tea, spirit levels and countless other things not taken into
consideration by the Constitutional Amendment.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22
Moisture Often Turks Where Man Says IT'S
Dry-Even the Sahara Has Its Oasis
PrOclairning America a National Desert
Creates Many Spots of the Oasis Variety.
List to the System.

When this old country Of our goes oonstiutoua1y dry" what
sill those parts OF said country which didn't vote dry do about it?
What will those individuals who refuse, stubbornly, to be legidated
into believing that Il IS criminal to drink alcoholic beverages, do
about il:
Listen, gentle reader! Just between US We don't know what
they VIII do about IT, But we may glance over the record OF past per-
fomanccs-hkc a certain Detroit debauch-and get something Of
a line on en-
Down n Oklahoma, which is a constmtionaIy dry state, the
mule IS m Institution Missouri may claim to have discovered him
and nurturcd him and all that but Oklahoma wa first to recognize
the commercial possibilities OF the set ways OF a mule. Texas, in
the days here ohronclcd, was a wet state. 1t has since dried up.
But n that time just a grasp Of days ago, there we're oases across
the Texas border And palms waved. And there was the perfume
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

thirsty -husbandmen with the result
that the undertaking business looked
mp amazingly A commission was ap-
pointed to investigate the "mysteri-
Gus disease that was decimating the
northern population and the spirit
level market subsequently slumped.
OF course when an individual goes
crazy IL is serious. When a whole
family goes crazy 1t is what might
be called compounded nuts. But when
a whole state goes perfectly dippy-!
Well. Michigan did.
You recall. no doubt. the reports in
the secular press Of that states period
OF nutness.
Michigan went violently crazy just
after having taken the cure and hay
ing. apparently, sobered Up.
Michigan reached out across the
Ohio border for booze. She pleaded
for ukker-hard. hard nkker. She
offered 70 pay fancy prices for any
thing wet that contained alcohol.
The Dixie Highway. between Toledo
and Detroit. got all torn up.
M~iehigan's Plan.
Michigan came over in automobiles
and wabbled back in automobiles and
there were sixty-eisht total wrecks
along the highway in day. There
was 10 miles Of cars on that road.
sixty empty on the down t1p and
loaded 10 the guards on the way back
The Michigan temperature is still!
high and the Michigan pulse is beating
rapidly and erraucalIy. Now and
again there are attacks OF nervous
ness. II one were 10 slam a door un-
cxpectedly. Michigan might jump out
OF q convenient window. She may pun
through. az that
And here's how come
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

poration "a a consignment Of radi-
ators-the kind that make a noise like
a boiler factory in your apartment on
a winter morning. Norfolk and ao-
jacent communities got regularly and
r~iOtously drunk. Then a careless
stevedore permitted a radiator 70
smash up on dock and a regiment Of
wharf laborers diyed int the ensuing
flood. The water front was redolent
Of rye. And one plumbing supply
house went ont of business.
But Norfolk was only a poor second
to Mobile. Alabam'. Down there the
gentleman who Incorporated himself
was a paving contractor, if you please.
He was supposed TO be paving streets
up through Alabama from the Gulf
| coast 10 Tennessee. Every boat that
came down from the North brought
barrels OF tar to this contracting per
son. 1t was regular pine tar, too. the
kind hat is black and sticky and
smells loud And then the accused
accident happened, A barrel that vas
being lifted from the ships bowels got
lose and fell from a crane arm 10 the
hard. ~uny.clding stones that paved the
wharf. And il busted right open
Inside that barrel-and numerous 9TH
CT DAfIfl1 E4ltLL l4ldlE uD LIfLL AlEAlCu-
lar consignment. as subsequent inves-
tigation revealed, there We're dozens of
bottles OF whisky. Each quart was
wrapped in parafine paper. SO wrap
ped. the bottle was buried in tar. When
the barrel was opened il was an easy
matter 20 pour of the tar and the
process Of freeing the bottle from the
sticky black stuff resolved itself into
tho simple action Of stripping of the
oiled paper.
Sioux City System.
In Sioux City. Iowa. last July. &
piano which had been shipped in from
Chicago was found to contain com
partments for the accommodation Of
numerous quart bottles. Eacn little
niche was nicely padded and the bot
tie containing, as the Investigators as
certa.ned. the proper amount OF corn
juice. reposed safely in its little bed
until the consignee began 10 play
How Dry I Am"
And so. wherever thirst and cupidity
meet Up. Il seems that the occasion
produces. too often. the man and the
means. But IL isn't the tr~ansporta-
ton OF liquor from wet into dry ter
ritory that most menaces the perfect
operation OF the law. After the Fed
eral amendment goes into effect. there
viii be no wet spots from which 70
ship in this country. At least there
viii be no territory recognized as wet
Then comes into more general con-
fict with the law the Illicit distiIlery.
the "coTee-pot STILL" the kitchen
brewery and the sllo.
Do you know what a silo souse Is?
OF course YOU don't II is a strictly
rural institution. A silo is a round
thing and looks Ike ar upright. at
tenuated water tank The up-to-date
husbandman presses his green fodder
nto that tank. packs il in tight and
thus preserves Il FOR winter feed for
the lowing kline. But a silo Just nat
uraliy viii allow the corn and such
20 WORK" In other words. 10 fer
menL Tho processes OF fermentation
may De stimulated Wherefore. the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22

Just TO accommodate the Kansas beer
trade. All beer destined for Carrie
Nation territory was concealed 90 in
sugar barrels and labeled accordingly.
This beer was sold in drug stores. gro
c~eries. blind pigs" anywhere.
If you want a drink, stranger, -
suggested a Good Samaritan to a way
farer who happened to be marooned
between trains in the city Of Hutch
inson. a short while back. ask a pO-
Iceman." The stranger did. The po-
liceman. after sizing him up. not only
led him to it. but joined in the festivi-
ties with great custo and eclat and all
that sort OF bally enthusiasm.
Once upon a time when the gold
madness gripped Northern Ontario and
The Porcupine'' was a mans 10 con-
lure with. the writer happened into
Golden City, Ontario. The Canada OF
those DAYS boasted a law that pro-
hibited the sale Of intoXicants within
five miles of "A mining camp. Or was
IL ten? Anyhow. a Canadian min
ing camp was supposed 10 be as arid
as a hot brick. Would we like a drop
OF tn creaturc?' inquired the prOprie-
tor OF the big tent that served as the
leading hotel Of Golden City in that
hectic TIME AIlZ WHICH, dALtl
the proper display OF interest on the
writer's part. the Celtic proprietor led
the way 10 a shack. raped in the
code. and was ushered into a room,
the center Of which was piled high
with q shapelcss mass Yer which a
tarpaulin had been carelessly flung.
Removed, there came revealed case on
case of beer. wine, whisky. brandy.
gin-cven cordials and ahsinthe. 10
Canadian spot was better supplied
with the juice of JOY than that dry
area.
Candy Boxes.
You remember. no doubt the candy
boxes hat used to be made 10 look
like books. Vanity Fair contained a
pound of choice chocolates and your
best sri was not averse 10 consum-
ing the contents and then adding the
receptacle 10 the library shelf. just as
4 sop TO the family yearning for the
evidence OF culture! Wei. old Mr..
Earlevcorn found out about that little
slbterfugc. and nowadays a hand
slmcly bound volume OF Shakespeare
viii hold something like four pints Of
TIE stuff that inspires blank verse and
homicide.
A booklover was arrested in Chatta-
nocga and segregated in the Fulton
County Tower" as they call the jail
in the classic Tennessee metropolis.
And all because his books needed
plumbing, He had carefully selected
a me collection for shipment from st.
Louis 20 Atlanta. and. being z con-
noisseur and Jealous Of MS literary
children. mad gone along At Chatta-
nooga the books began 10 leak, Gosh,
Jonas Porter. OF Pine Bluff. Ark.
didn't display so much Imagination.
He labeled his express package-an
ample one-"Fish.' and when II
reached Pine Bluff the nosey officials
went a-smelling. Fish and rye liquor
don't exude the same bouquet How
ever hat may be. Mr.. Forter's fish
leaked also. n he didn't have any
better alibi han the Chattanooga
bookworm-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22
In the Capital.

But Maj Pullman. famous super
intendent Of the District OF Column
bia police department. has also had
his automobile experiences. When
washington went dry and the Con-
g~ressional committee rooms went
wetter than usual. al. or nearly all.
Of the residents. permanent and Of
h~ce-holding. OF our National Capital
romped joyously toward Baltimore.
The Maryland metropolis is but
forty-four miles and as many
minutes distance from the Capital.
Railway. trolley and automobile
trafac between Washington and Bal
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1919-09-25
SICK II YEARS, RELIEVED BY
TAKING NO. 40 FOR The BLOOD

For II years ! was troubled VITA
dropsy and bad blood. | took every
kind OF medicine that waa recoll-
mended to me without benefit until
| got bottle OF Number 10. and it
helped me so much that | sent and
got two more bottles, and since TAX
ing the second bottle | am feeling
fine. wish to recommend Number
40 TO anyone needing blood me III
cine, as believe il is as good as rec.
commended. Mrs. JOne Goodwin, Cid
con, Mo, Number A. is demanded
in deprayad conditions Of the system,
especially Of the blood and general
health In chronic enlargement of the
spleen or liver. In chronic malarial
poisoning, Removes the causes of dis.
ease by stimulating the removal os
waste, thus encouraging nutrition.
Employed With success in blood POI.
soning, chronic rheumatism. catarrh,
eczema and skin diseases. Made by
j. G. Mendenhall, Evansville. Ind, 10
years druggist,
Sold by Corbus' Drug Store.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1919-09-25
WESTBOUND.

Westbound cars leave Ottawa sta.
ton for Utica, La Sale, Peru, Spring
Valley, Ladd, DePue, Bureau, Prince
ton in a. m, rs 10, 1850 dc so, is: 20,
80: 80, dl0:50, fll;50, in p. M, gl:6O,
d2:50, 1900, d4:55, 60 so, d7:O0, f7:50,
k9; 80. mll:2A.