El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-09-13

l anese going to return Foulard
or Shantung or whatever its name IS
TO the Chinese. Mawruss. but Is the
farmers going to return the United
States to the city fellers. and II 50.
when, understand, ABE Potash re-
marked a few days after the repeal
OF the daylight saving law, because
II Is getting so now. Mawruss. that a
motion would be made by the senator
from Iowa almost any day. amending
the Declaration Of Independence. the
Gettysburg address and the constitu-
ton OF the United States by striking
out the word people wherever It oc-
ours in them documents and inserting
in Its place the word farmers. so that
the same shall read: We, the farmers
OF the United States. or a government
Of farmers, for the farmers BY the
farmers. as the case may be, anything
hereinbefore contained to the con-
trary nevertheless OF whatever the
legal schmooes for such motion
might be, Mawruss."
And such a motion would be unanl-
mously carried, Abe" Morris de-
clared, because for some reason
which amt exactly clear to anybody
but a congressman or a farmer, Abe.
any legislation which a farmer thinks
he wants, and which practically
everybody else but a farmer or con-
gresham thinks he shouldn't ought
to have, Abe, the house Of represen-
tatives and senate will give him by
anyhow a two thirds vote, which you
take this here prohibition, and"
Farmers Are Not Hit.
Prohibition wasn't thinking about
at all. because prohibition won't affect
the average farmer any more than the
actors strike did The average farmer
is practically independent OF the
Liquor traffic for his schnapps- As
long as the flavoring extract business
continues to operate and apples grows
on trees, Mawruss, the farmer Will al
has IN the past: Well. here's how
OF LfChayim, because when you see
a farmer talking to himself, Mawruss,
that amt a sign that he's crazy. He
is only inviting somebody to have a
drink" Abe said Yes. MaWruss, the
idea that congress and the farmers
has about farmers being more moral
than other people is a mistaken one.
They amt more moral. they're more
exclusive. and don't think the farm
ers was bit more in favor Of PROFIT
bition than anybody else. but they
didn't oppose II because sitting around
a table with a lot Of friends IN cafe
was always mir nix dir nix to a
farmer. and he should worry about
ohibition so long as he can enjoy his
eight ounce bottle OF vanilla and Jug Of
hard cider IN the privacy OF his own
woodshed which Is the Farmers
Union League club. Mawruss. Prohi-
billion didn't change the farmers
it get by without any protest, y'under-
stand, but when the daylight saving
law went into effect. MaWruss, right
away 1t struck blow at one habit
which while don't claim the farmers
has got a monopoly OF It y'under-
stand. he anyhow values It as highly
as the city Teller and that habit Is
laziness"
rs it laziness to work from sun
rise to sunset the way farmer does7'
Morris asked
City Teller Gets Results.
The way farmer does, II Is" Abe
replied. which I have had the mis-
fortune to sell goods in certain terri
tories where my customers done a big
credit business among the farmers OF
their neighborhoods. and aside from
the fact that a whole lot Of farmers
wives Is going round wearing gar
ments which I never got paid for on
account the storekeeper busted up on
me from the habit the farmer has OF
only paying cash to Sears. Roebrck |
and Montgomery. Ward. understand. |
still the experience OF giving me an
opportunity 10 see the way a farmer
WoTk6s ana II you ana me worked
that way, Mawruss, instead OF staying
IN the store from sunrise to sunset,
we would be here from one new moon
to another and still we would get
cancellations for not delivering the
goods on time, because there Is two
kinds OF laziness. There Is the farm
ers' laziness which requires II hours
10 do six hours work in. understand
me. and there Is the city fellers lazi-
ness which makes him do ten hours
work IN five and fool away the rest
OF the ten hours in idleness. and even
at that. Mawruss, the city Teller gets
four hours more results a day than
the farmer"
But admitting that the farmer
works slow, or II you want to put II
that ways iazy-understand me
amt he got a right to kick when IN
der the daylight saving law, the milk
train on which he shipped his milk
every morning practically drew out
OF the station the night beforeTF
Morris inquired.
Law should Have Stood.
Then II for no other reason than
Il caused the farmer for once in the
history Of farmers and farming TO be
ahead Of the times. Mawruss. the
daylight savings law should ought to
your chest well up and your shoulders
back, and then begin to prance like a
horse. Stop and rest at discreet in
-aerrrra -orafn