The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-07-31
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SUN B 3 Ans
!. ~ \ So sNss

Il tx fssF is,S M ~ Is is.7 Es M >&sssSA
b Asked HI Aad
ElNyV[Sk ever met I a,
I <NX0 snake l q
\ A that l had-aaked
for , descripalo1
\. N Offered this he
joint snake grows to. length ~ Is
inches; is clay bank in coloe, Nth
pin stripes Of black runnin' le4tA-
wise (also likewise). 1t has ! very
sharp, features; has hornlike no
lection on it's rear end and II 4kxmek
with club it falls to pieces That it
reassembles the parts has beea dis.
puted. But l knows that il doeA !
saw it done. Listen-I found oGle OF
these snakes onct and decided to
settle once and for all the question.
struck it lightly Gust back of Is
ears) and it instantly fell apart-four
or five separate pieces The psece
with the head (and faee) attached
glided away in the grass Having
nothing else to do land not wantin'
to do it) waited. In the meantime
II picked up one section the piece
that crosses the road last) and put it
in my pocket. Presently the first or
head section reappeared and began
to couple up again. One part bein'
missin' seemed to excite the crittcr
and he Cor it) seemed to look ON me
with suspicion-To fully convince
myself carried the piece home seith
me. Next morning found the
snake in the front yard, The derned
reptile had trailed me home. l threw
the tail piece down and immediately
with smile radiating its features) i.
backed up and made fast and presto.
it was off on its way. P. S,-This in
cident occurred several years ago and
is absolutely true. But DO you be-
lieve it? NO.
The death angel smote Alexander
McGlue
And gave him protraeted repose.
He wore tow shirt and 4 number
10 shoe
And had a big wart on his nose,
No doubt he is happier, dwelling in
space
Over on the evergreen shore.
His friends are informed that his
funeral tales place
Next Tuesday at quarter past four.
Several months ago the above verse
appeared in Sunbeams and sup
posed the incident closed, But I
was mistaken. Recently l was 2p-
preached by an ancient lookin' party
who wore sad look-a pair of specs
some faded whiskers and some 9TH
er clothes, who said to me, BE you
the Teller as writes fer The Timess"
| told him was it. Says he, "l'm
McGlue." mot Alec" I gasped.
"No, only relative about y times
removed .:But." says l. ALEC was
only removed once and he seems to
stay put" Il was actin brave. but
felt sure that some one would soon
collect my life insurance,l Il was in
distant state" he continued. where
I read your 'touchin' notice OF poor
Alec's finish and have come to thank
you" He extended his lunch hook
Il mean his HANDY and said shake"
l was already shakin'. Il have neith-
! er gold nor silver to offer. you"
(jist my luck, said to MYSELF but. i"
said he, 1.-The thanks of a MeGlue
will always be 'youIn'. Your deserip-
ton of Alec was very lifelike. Even
to the wart on his sose and the size
of his foot He acted as If he want
ed to give me parting embrace, but
! said to him, Don't mention it, Nc.
The pleasure is all mine" Up. S.
This took place since July Ist.l
read in paper that the old
timers in the fightin' game were
compelled to fight for small stakes"
Times don't seem to have improved
much. have been fightin' for
mighty small steaks for many moons
Jess Willard don't need an abb to
prove that he wasn't sthere" July
4th. SD
I'm in the market for an air plane.
III shore am. am told that astron-
omers have discovered lake Of beer
(do you get meD A lake Of beer ON
the planet Mars. Glory be.
There are two ways by which YOU
may hope to die natural death. By
natural death l mean the way which
nature meant you to die. One way is
to avoid dying by accident. The 9TH
er way is to never employ a doctor. ;,
A friend said to me thusly. linn.
you have been~bringing sunshine into
my home for many moons and want
| ~ tSAi yOu tOW HULL Il 8RpIGCl2tC
your work" Thanks, old gobbler,"
says l. Pm glad to be of use to my
fellows. Is there any other little
pleasure I can add to tighten yopr
burden in this vale Of broken PROM
ises and tears" Yet" said he.
there is. We have plenty Of SIM
shine. but if you could (oh If you
only eouldl bring just \ little bit of
moonshine-." ~
1 The packers say that il we woald
eat more meat, the price Of meat van
come down. Now, / suggest that Is
the said packers win make lower
4 price ], know one scitisen Who win do
his, derndest 70 cat more meat. (E.
S.-And there may Be- o&Aerx)
The time may afrive when the ltoa
and the lamb viii lie down toeetEer.
| Yes, but I'm bettins eksa hey %
that said lamb will be ~oa the ias;deAs
Thtes Lessons iron the Wa
Headline. ! leafned one Of EN-
a. o. - .