Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-05-01
THE SPICE OF LIFE

Memories. Memories, - see
they are making shingles out of ce-
ment now"
Then l recall my wish to be
hoy again."-Boston Transcript.
The Scotch of It.-"How was it
you never let your mother know
you'd won the V. c.?
"It wasna ma turn tae write."-
Punch.
Truth i'm ET'ror.-For the work of
IN absolutely inspired compositor
we are indebted to the Boston
Transcript-"Thed doctor felt the pa
tents purse and declared there
was no hope. Opinion.
Moving Lettcrs.-"FTrst Pater-
MY boys letters from. college al
ways send me to the dictionary"
My boys always send me to the
bank. Boston Transcript
'BusincSs as Csual:-A sorry
blow has been dealt at those who
maintain we are not a commercial
lace. You gave me prussic acid
in mistake for quinn this morning"
a man told a chemist the other day.
rs that so?" said the chemist
then you owe me another two
pence. Punch.
50 Say We Aldo YOU under
stand the League of Nations propo-
sitions?"
II think So"
Would you mind explaining
them"
"Im feel better if 7 don't try. 1
only said think I understand. When
ever l get to explaining | have my
doubts about whether 1 do or not"
Washington Star.
Undying Songs. - There are
songs" said the musician, that
have never, never died. They go
ringing down the ages"
THAT is true, sir" Brown re-
piled. For the past six months and
upward I have heard my daughter
try to kill two or three each even
ing, but they never, never de-
London Tit-Bits.
Circumspcction.-'I am sensible
of the honor you do me, Mr.. John
son. in the proposal of marriage
you have just made" said the
naughty young lady. but circum-
stances over which I have no con-
troll compel me to decline the
honor"
What are those circumstances?
demanded the young man.
Your circumstances, Mr.. John
son."-New York Evening Post.
Real PuniShmcnt.-"Ger is
going to be badly surprised when
the Allies peace terms are read to
her. The peace terms are very Sc
Vere-juSt, but very severe"
The speaker was Assistant Secre-
tary of the Navy Roosevelt. He went
on:
Germany is going to feel like
Rastus Rosin, who was convicted of
stealing hog.
"'Rastus,' the Judge said to him.
you are fined S5.'
obliged to ye. All got dat five spot
right here in nah left-hand vest
pocket
WELL continued the judge, just
dig down in your right-hand vest
pocket, Rastus, and see if you can
find thirty days Los Angeles
Times.
Get a Man-SiZcd Job.-It is so
easy 10 ma fault that Selt-reSpectlng
persons ought to be ashamed to
waste their energies in that way
Boston Transcript.
The Best Tonic.-Willis-"D the
doctor do anything to hasten your
recovery"
Wallace-"Oh. yes; he told me he
was going to charge me a guinea
visit. Tit Bits.
Breaking 1t Gently paint
what ! see," an art-student once
said to his master. complacently.
We'll. the shock will come when
you really zee what you've painted"
said the artist.-Boston Transcript.
The Proper Retort.-"So you want
my daughter, eh?"
"I do, sir"
Have You any money!"
"A little. How high do you quote
her r?"-Brooklyn Citizen.
Deductivc Reasoning.-"why do
people say, AS dead as a door nail?"
asked the Boob. why is a door nail
any deader than a door,"
Because it has been hit on the
head. 1 suppose. e."-Cincinnati In
quirer.
Too Cruel.-F. M. B.. Fisher re-
L