davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

Va AN5Av $500 PHN
Inquirer.
The Hi Cost OF Drinking.
The old-fashioned man who could
go out with q 81 bill and a thirst and
come back comfortably stewed. now
has a son who goes out with a $40 bill
and a thirst and comes back with
nothing but the thirst.
Wuff!
The young grass widow smiles at me,
She's quit her husband. he has
gone;
But it is very plain to see
She's not a maiden all for lawn.
Then 1t Happened.
IT wonder if you could?" unused the
Rummy, as he WHIPPED the foam OF
his lips.
you wonder if you could what?"
demanded the Barkeep, as he grabbed
a baseball bat hat stood behind the
bar.
why, if the leader of an orchestra
died, 1 wonder If o could q that
he is a finished musician ?" replied the
Rummy, as he headed for the door.
Obi
The boy stood on the burning deck,
He stood to dodge the heat;
He knew If he sat down. by heck,
That he would burn his seat.
What?
The definition of Independence Is:
Exercising ones own will or judg-
ment without h guidance or control
of others"
This being the case. please answer
one question:
If July s is independence Day, what
tina HEX is July 1?
Giddapt
He met a girl, now hear him sigh.
The doggone simp:
He had his leg pulled, and hat is why
He's telling limp.
Paw Knows Everything.
willie-Paw what is ambition?
Paw-Ambition is a desire to DO
something we can't. my son.
Advice.
When buying things, cash you should
pay.
And you will avoid lots of sorrow;
If o don't meet that bill to-day,
You'll meet the collector
The Wise Fool.
"You can't get ahead by going
backward" observed the Sage.
But suppose you are rowing a
boat?" demanded the Fool.
No Joke.
What IL winds do rage and blow?
Just wear a smile where'er you go
Be of good cheerl
For cute see-mores and peek-a-boos,
A M Ituh- ont cIxt FfQ and 1nW nlIf shoes
And flmy waists and silhouets.
And all of Summers one best bets
Will soon be here.
Luke McLuke.
II prohibs once discover We
This joyous pageant like to see
They'll have a fit!
They'd try to Danish from our gaze
Both see-mores and decolletes;
So whate'er pleausre you may take.
Dissemble it. for heavens sake.
Don't publish it
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
Bits of By-Pldy
The Hi Cost OF Drinking.

BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1919. the Cincinnati
Inquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
How smart Arc YouY

Or course o are a smart guy and
lido not have to open a dictionary for
anybody.
But, if a fellow is proposing to a
girl. and he says: MARRY me. and ]
will indulge in nidifcationi" whai
does he means?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
What?

The definition of Independence Is:
"Evercising ones own will or judg-
ment without h guidance or control
of others"
This being the case. please answer
one question:
If July 8 is Independence Day, what
tina HEX is July 1?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
wuH!

The young grass widow smiles at me,
She's quit her husband. he has
gone;
But it is very plain TO see
She's not q maiden all for lawn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

He met a girl now hear him sigh,
The doggone simp;
He had his leg pulled, and that is why
He's telling limp.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

Willie-Paw what is ambitionY
Paw-Ambition is a desire to DC
we can't, my son.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

II prohibs once discover we
This joyous pageant like to see
They'll have a fit!
They'd try to Danish from our gaze
Both see-mores and decolletes;
So whate'er pleausre you may take
Dissemble it, for heavens sake.
Don't publish it
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
Then 1t Happened.
Obi

The boy stood on the burning deck,
He stood to dodge the heat;
He knew if he sat down. by heck,
That he would burn his seat
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

The old-fashioned man who could
go out with a 81 bill and a thirst and
come back comfortably stewed. now
has a son who goes out with a $40 bill
and a thirst and. back with
nothing but the thirst.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

When buying things. cash you should
pay.
And you will avoid lots of sorrow;
If you don't meet that bill to-day,
You'll meet the collector to-mor-
row.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11
The Wise Fool.

The Wise Fool.
"You can't get ahead by going
backward" observed the Sage.
But suppose you + rowing a
boat?" demanded the Fool.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-11

What IL winds do rage and blow?
Just wear a smile where'er you go
Be of good cheeri
For cute and peek-a-boos,
And high-cut skirts and low cut shoes.
And flmy waists and silhouets,
And all of Summers one best bets
Will soon be here.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
WOULD PLAN FOR
 THE NEXT WAR

Topeka, Kans., Jan. 22.-Calmly re- ferring to "the next war;" Major Gen. eral Leonard Wood made ] strong 3D. peal before joint session of the Kan sas legislat re for system of unive"- sal training for national defense.
 "The prediction that there will be no more wars is as old as time," he continued, but war is like a pestil- ence. It comes unawares and the most democratic method for nation like ours is to be prepared. You can not massage away by fine rhetoric the passions of nations whose methods and morals are entirely different from our own."
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
OMAHA MAN SAYS
 IT WAS LUCKY nAY
 WHEN HE FOUND 1T
Union Pacific Fireman Declares TaE- lac estOred His Health-WOrk Is Easy for Him Now He Says.

Nothing but real medicine could do what Tanlac has done for me, and that's why l am always glad to tell others about it,' said Ira W. Polsley. 2033 Elm street, Omaha, Nebraska, recently. Mr. Polsley is fireman for the Union Pacific and is we'll known in railroad circles. Eve always been str )ng and well' he continued. 'until about lsiX months ago, when I began to feel my system getting out of fix and my health slipping away from me. My appetite got poor and what little l ate didn't give me nourishment. my liver was sluggish and I had no en- ergy or ambition. I weighed 40 pounds when my trouble started, but it wasn't long before I had lost sev- eral pounds and was going down hill and feeling tired and worn out all the time. l don't know just what did ail me, but whatever it was it made me miserable and unfit for work
 An engineer friend of mine told me how this Tanlac had helped him and advised me to try it, and I did. The first few doses maue a big diff ference in my feelings, and it soon began to prove to be just what l needed. My appetite soon came back and l could eat anything set before me and enjoy it. When l finished the third bottle, I was not only re- stored to health but l had actuaIsy gained ten pounds besides. and I'm even heavier than I was when my trouble first begun. Taillac certain ly is wonderful and it was a lucky day for me when I found il"
 Tanlac is sold in Pine Blur sy Central Pharmacy. Advt
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
LOCAL SAMMIE TELLS OF HIS
 EXPERIENCES

The following experiences over there" are offered by 6en H. J. SculI, a Pine Bluff Sammie, who has re- turned recently:
 Back nome once more, and cer- tainly glad of it." conveys certain thought, but words fail to- convey our feelings"
 You asked me about the Triangle 39 or our shoulders. That signifies the division to which we belong, anl let us tell you we are proud of the honor of being one of the 29th divi- sion. While we did not have the chance of meriting wound chevron nevertheless many of the 39th men did have and are now wearing them. Many there are also whose dear ones at home have changed the blue ser vice star to gold. They measured up to their opportunity, gained the territory assigned to them and then some, so we cannot but feel that as we had the same training we would have carried on the good work if the armistice had not stopped us."
 "The blue c1evron on the left sleeve is for three and under six months foreign servicae and we are proud of this also. But the red chev- ron is our honorable discharge chev- ron and it is the one we like p~s. and aare the proudest of fore more reasons than one.
 On Guard at Sea.
 While going across the Atlantic we were on guard duty, most of the time on lookout for submarines, keep ing gangways clear and keeping care less men from throwing trash over- board as we did not want to leave q trail behind us for a submarine to follow. At night we saw to it that no one smoked or that no lights shone on our ship or on any the others that were journeying with us Even wrist watches with illuminat- ed dials had to be hid out of sight as we were nearing the other side and sailing through the Bay of Bis cay in very dangerous waters on ac. count of the submarines and mines The writer while on guard duty un B deck was given orders that in case our ship struck mine or was torpedoed that he was to keep his post until properly relieved or untr the water came up to his feet. Well Illio O1IIply lllcduC W>so LII ID uSCh and I knew that if ever the shiI sunk that deep in the water was { goner because the ship would draw me after it by suction before I coult get a safe distance from it. Also had an imaginary picture of the of ficers and non-commissioned officers taking time to relieve the guards when the ship was going down. did some thinking. yes, and somt praying. but l finally came to tn, conclusion, Never trouble troubl. till trouble troubles you We pass ed through the danger zone in safet. and landed at BIest. France.
 UnlOaded Supplies.
 Our company was left on the shil
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
The Razor in Civilization.

Busts of the Caesars show them to have been clean-shaven. Men in the eighteenth century relied still further on the barber's art, for they shaved their heads as we'll. Hogarth has painted beau of this period who by some chance had his wig removed which gives him the look of an elderly baby. The uncouth appearance of the barbarians, which shocked the Romans was due a good deal to the neglect or these wild mon to dress their hair.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Facing Charged Conditions.

"I'm looking for employment, sir. I'll be frank with you. I've just been released from prisoc" "Ahem! One of the model prisons?" "Yes, sir" "Well, I'm willing to give you chance, but ever, man we employ is expected to hustle. If you think you can get down co hard work and long hours after the life of elegant leisure you havs doubtless enjoyed in prison, I'll make place for you"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23

to help unload the supplies we cant ried with us but before we left the ship for good a hospital ship brought to our ship lot of casualties, wound ed and gassed-men Ill all condi- tions. Some we knew on the verge of death and would soon reach the port in the direction of which we have all been sailing since birth. It was ghastly sight! We consoled each other by saying, Men, they don't all get killed over here, look at those men going home. Soon you will be homeward bound like them Some consolation! For about the first time we realized what war was at it's worst.
 French Wines.
 "Y want to know about French wines We'll, when we first reached Phelan le Grand there was one wine shop that attracted the Sammies and their officers more than any other and the reason was apparent to every one. A pretty French lady, she was pretty of face and figure and stylish of dress-the belle of the town. She told them she was the madam but they did not care. So the officers rented the place and called it an of- ficers club For officers only The first night midnight arrived and the officers still stayed and made merry. Some were little zig-zag and they were expressing their love for the French lady and were trying to out do each other in kissing her hand and so forth She soon told them ] that while she appreciated their kind feeling 1t was not necessary for them to speak and act the way they were doing. She calleA the chaplain aside and asked him what to do about getting the men out as her rep utation would not be worth cent if she kept an open house all night She stated that her husband was at ] the front and it was necessary that she make all the money possible out 1 of the shop while he was gone as he only received a few cents day sal ary The pay of ooldier in the French army is very small. The chaplain told her to retire up stairs and lock the door and he would run the shop for her that night. Tne next night it was the same way and the chaplain saw that he was going to nave steady JOD on ms nands every night and one that he did no, appreciate. So when it was time fol all good people to retire he miXeo a fancy drink out of the different wines, one that would not mix in a mans stomach. And he camouflaged the taste we'll and served the officers from the major down. They went I wild over it and ordered more and more. Shortly they were the sick est bunch of men you ever laid eyes on. The next morning they had their heads bandaged up and were ordering seltzer water. The chap lain took the doctor and the writer in on the joke and we had many 6 hearty laugh over it. Nevertheless it broke up the midnight party al the madam's and the madam's repu
 tation was saved by calling the frs
 night the chaplain's party, then ev
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Teutons in History.

The term Teuton is of Latin origin. in ancient times the part of Europe now embraced in Germany was called Germania, and one of the principal tribes of the country was called by the civilized Romans Teutons, just as we speak of the Apache Indian. Being 8 fierce and warlike people they gave the Romans a great deal of trouble, and as they were the dominant tribe of that came to be applied to all the people oc' c1pying what was called Germania. u has survived in the form of Teutons.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Strive to Keep Sweet.

Some folks are the very picture of misery. Their mouths are so constant. ly in sour pout that they get ugly be- fore they get gray. The kiddies take to their heels when they see the nag ger coming down the street. Objec- tors are always wanting a new boss. Dismal old age stares the unfortunate victim in the face and he's bound to get soured on the world for the world has little to offer him. You can't take such risks.-Exchange
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
A Divine Melody,

The worlds history is divine poem or which the history of every nation is canto and of every man a word. Its strains have been pealing along down the centuries, and, though there nave been mingled the discords of roaring cannon and dying man, yet to :he Christian philosopher and historian --the humble listener-there has been 9 divine melody running through the song which speaks of hope and halcyon days 10 come. History is but tne unrolled scroll of prophecy James A. Garfield.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Don't Exaggerate.

The girl who stretches every state ment she makes out of all resemblance to the actual facts of the case may imagine she is strengthening what she IS trying to say. But that is mistake. People who listen to an exaggerated statement invariably discount it, and usually more than it deserves, and in addition they feel distrust of any thing which has to be so overempha. slzed. Every exaggerated statement is weakened in proportion as it is exag- gerated.-Grit.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
NOTICE.
NOTICE. Pay your Dist. tax 27 and save pen alty, books at TAYLOR 6 co. 123 w. Barraque Street.
Ukraine ReqlGn.

Ukraine is from the Russian and Polish "Ukraina," meaning the from tier, which includes the extensive from s!er region between Poland and Rus' sia, forming the districts of kle1, Chernigof, Podolsk, Kharkof and Pol taya. The region is watered by the Dnieper, which intersects it in a wlnd- ing course from north to south. Black soil overlies the Ukraine territory, which produces two-thirds of all the cereals grown in the whole of Russia. The Ukraine takes leading rank i'll most other natural resources of Rus' Sia
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
New Spectacles.

The latest development in spectacles is supplied with electric light, set either between the eyes or in the rim surrounding the eye. A clear, shadow less light is thus thrown upon the ob- feet of vision, though the eye itself is shaded from the direct rays of the lamp.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Shocks Retard Drug Action.

"Shock retards the action of drugs" says the Revue de Medicine. "Frogs n state of shock from a blow on the head or an electric shock did not respond to the effect of a poison until after period of eight or ten times longer than under normal circum- stances, even when strychnine, for ex- ample, was injected by the vein."
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Persons to Avoid.

Unwelcome are the loiterer, who makes appointments he never keeps; the consulter, who asks advice he nev- er follows; the boaster, who seeks for praise he does not merit; the con- plainer, who whines only to be pitied; the talker, who talks only because he loves to talk always.--Selected.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
BeinQ a Politician,

You cannot help being politician
 You cannot live for an hour without being politician. But what a man generally means when he says that he is not politician am afraid is this that he has been all his life enjoying his political privileges and grossly neg lecting his political duties.-Rev. Hugh Price Hughes.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
SeIf-DeniaI Went for Nothing.

A young woman was staying at Jacks home, and seeing box of candy on her table, he went into her room and helped himself. His mother told him how wrong it was aud said he must apologize. That night, be4sre go- ing into her room, he was heard to murmur: eff I has to 'pologize, wish l took more than one piece"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Fabrics From Peat.

Experiments with peat have been considered successful in producing the following articles: Fibers which can be used for carpets, draperies and clothing; artificial wood for paving, railroad ties, etc.; stufting for mat tresses, pillows and cushions.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Fora staillnd Visitors.

Said the i:ear-cynic: women asl- dom get credit for taking any prece~ lions other than looking under the bed. but did you ever notice that they usue ally put on their hats a couple of hours before it is time ts start to tho place they lave sek their hearts Gn soing?"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
LIBERTY BONDS.

We will buy Liberty bonds at high est market prices. 'eW represent a large bond company and will buy any amounts from $50.00 up. Don't sacrifice your bonds, we will pay you out. Durham Bros., 110 Main. Phone 1884. l-22-5W
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Meaning of Name "Rachel." !"

The Jews were at one time nation or shepherds. and it was probably for this reason that the Hebrew word for a mother sheep, or eve. was given to some of the Jewish women, Rachel meaning "a ewe."
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23
Too Much Connection,

"Now. where do yop want youi speech to come?" Put me on befors the celery is served. Two hundred people eating celery in unison make tt very difficult to be heard~
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1919-01-23

erything was all right in the eyes of the natives.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

Lyndon Libby has arrived from
France, where he saw some heavy
fighting in the Meuse-Argonne cam
raign but fortunately emerged from
the conflict without even receiving a
scratch. Later he was with the occu-
pati6nal army at Coblenz and says he
got along with the German people
first rate, but that life on the Rhine
is -monotonous and he was glad to get
back home. Lyndon is in the pink
Of condition and Is pounds heavier
than when he left for France.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

r-# -
Henry D. Meyer, secretary of the
state dairy and food commission, and
J. B. Connolly, inspector, were here
last week in. connection with their Of
fetal duties. Mr.. Meyer was at one
time editor of the Carver County Jour
nal and Mr.. Connolly for many years
auditor of Carver county, but the
bolshevist element defeated him at
the last election. They are both
capable officials, true blue Americans
and, fine fellows generally. The writ
er had not seen them for II years, and
was, much pleased to again meet
these good old associates of the good
old days before the dawn of bolshev-
ISM,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

The Collegiate Business Institute,
Nicollet at Tenth, Minneapolis, has
been selected by the state department
of education and the adjutant general
to give advanced business training to
returned men and women in the SER
vice from Minnesota. Seven other
collegiate business courses for high
school and college graduates exclus-
lively. Fall term opens September 2.
Write President A. E. Pickard for in
formation. Catalogue sent on re-
quest. 35-1c
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

Ralph l.. Conrad, advance organizer
of the evangelistic campaign, will ar
rive Saturday to have the lumber
hauled for the erection of the big
tabernacle, which will begin Monday
by volunteer workmen. All who
are willing to help should report to
their respective pastors or the build
ing committee. Building Committee,
Louis Wicen, Chairman.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

For an enjoyable time you should
attend the West Branch creamery
picnic next Sunday. The picnic will
be held in N. P. Olson's grove, half a
mile south of district school house,
in Greenbush township. Speakers
will deliver addresses on dairying and
other subjects, ball game will be
played and Henry Uglem's Minneap-
oils band will furnish music. A gen
eral invitation is extended to the pub
lie.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

On Monday, August rs, the Prince
ton ball club will play the Mora team
at the Kanabec county fair at Mora
for purse Of 500. Beckett and An
derson will do the battery work for
Princeton. Kanabec county is putting
on good fair this year, and you will
have chance to take in the exposi-
ton and see an exceptionally good ball
game at the same time.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

'From School to Position" We can
save you from $50 to 500. Learn
shorthand, typewriting, bookkeeping.
Ask for catalogue today. St. Cloud
Business College, Vath & Ahles. $500
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

Lovers of jazziperean music should
not fail to attend the dance at the
armory tomorrow night. The armory
must be heated this winter and the
boys are nedeavoring to obtain suf-
fcient money to install plant. 1c
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21
Professor and Mrs. HAYES and fan

Professor and Mrs. Hayes and fam
lily on Saturday moved to East Grand
Forks, where Mr.. Hayes has secured
the position Of superintendent Of the
public schools. He and his wife made
many friends during their residence
in Princeton. The Union wishes them
success in their new home.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

Mr.. and Mrs. S. J. Gum Of Cedar
Keys, Fla, were guests Of DR.. and
Mrs. Cooney from Tuesday to Friday
OF last week. They are on their an
nual auto tour and will visit Helena,
Mont, and the Yellowstone park be-
fore returning to their home. Mr..
Gum is cousin of Mrs. Cooney.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

Jay Jones of Clay Center, Neb., is
visiting relatives near Blue lake. Jay
is a very persistent fisherman and,
to hear him tell it, is catching hun
dreds of bass, pickerel, etc. But a
friend Of his says all Jay caught in IA
consecutive days on the lake was a
swapping turtle, and that bit his hand
when he hauled it into the boat.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1919-08-21

One hundred and fifteen tubs of but
ter were manufactured by the Prince
ton Cooperative creamery the past
week. Over 80 were shipped to east
ern markets.