The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1919-03-06
ROADS, PRESENT AND PAST
Artemis of the One-Fourth Grade
Writes a Letter About Them

telephoned you all about it, but
we have no telephone. And it is
too late now to get one put in, be-
cause the government has put a
prohibitivc piice on them, and my
uncle says, the government did
that to keep the women and we
girls FROM spending all our time
talking to one another.
My uncle is younger than my
father, but he is older in expert
ences. He never married, and a
good many people say it is a good
thing for his wife that he ain t
married, cause he just simply
won't stay at home at night nor
day time nor any other time.
My uncle has travelled over
more roads than any other person
in the world. And he says that a
few roads lead to heaven, all
roads lead to town, and a great
many more than that to hades.
He enjoys the distinction of help
ing t. Duild number of roads,
working out fines, and he says
that he's no slave to any sect,
travels no private path, but keeps
right in the middle of the big
broad highway, the dust from
which is golden. He says that a
good many roads are beset with
pitfalls and gin, but not much
gin now. And that there is one
road everybody has to travel once,
but never twice.
The first road work my uncle
did was on Horse Shoe curve
of the Pennsylvania railroad a.
bove Altoona, where he stayed on
1y long enough to earn 5000, the
amount of fine and costs for lick
ing the pupil teacher at the Oak
Grove school. Then he shot a
neighbours sheep, and had to help
finish the Switchback ON Snow
Shoe mountain. From there he
went to Ponce, Porto Rico, and
walked across the island to San
Juan over the improved road
made by the Spanish homeseekers
several hundred years ago. My
uncle says that that road across
Porto Rico is carved right out of
the mountains, and that it is the
beautifulest job of road carving
he ever saw. There are places on
that road where you can fall off
and go down three hundred feet
before you find stopping place.
Ny uncle says he wasn't at all
satisfied with the roads he saw in
this country, and so he crossed
over to look at the Appian Way.
Of course, Mister Editor, you
know all about that Way, and I'll
omit what my uncle said about it,
except that he thought it lay be-
tween Rome and Monte Carlo,
whereas he found it between
Rome and Brundusium, now Brin-
disi. My uncle says that Mr..
John p Appius got the contract.
to build that road in July, 312 B
c., and because he gave only one
tithe of one-tithe per centum to
the engineers, and built a mighty
fine road on contract time, they
named it after him. Ny uncle
couldn t find Mr.. Appius last sum-
mer, although he made diligent in
quiry. My uncle said he wanted
to shake hands with the man who
built road on contract that last
ed 2200 years with portions of it
still in use. 1t was appalling, my
uncle said, to observe how little
the Italians knew about their fam
Gus road, but one of them sug-
gested to him that, in view of the
lapse of time, it was highly prob
able that Mr.. Appius was dead,
and that he might find what was
left of the great road builder in
the catacombs. Ny uncle brought
along back one of the hexagonal
blocks of which the road was
built, and viii try to get Ed Scott
to use that same material on that
Concluded on page g.