Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1919-12-24

Mr., Fokins. ersatse q ~ Nsssian
ballet, has reached thts ceuntry and
will invent an American dancA but
viii It be more exciting than the one
srs?
No, fresh eggs are not u . dosen.
They are only 30 cents.
SOB STUFF.
The band played Were loyal, Dear
Rockford, we're loyal to you." while
O thrill ran over the audience, and
somewhere In the crowd girl scbbed.
Rockford CID. Star.
one-half Of the world wonders how
che other half drinks.
Tho prize hard luck artist Of our
neighborhood hid five quarts in q dark
corner a the coal bin and the next day
an unfeeling driver dumped four tons
Of anthracite on them.
THE IDEAL APARTMENT.
The ideal apartment 10 one which
you are not living in. You can tell
the world that.
When people in a small town get
together they talk about their opera
lions. When people in a big city get
together they talk about their apart
ments. 1t IL sometimes q question
which Is the more painful, an opera
ton or an apartment.
Chasing a mirage in tho Sahara de-
sert Is an amateur sport compared
to stalking the ideal apartment. You
have got 1t and you tell all your friends
you have got 1t and then
You move in. Moving into an apart
ment In q mistake. If people could stay
out OF ideal apartments and admire
them from distance, they might re-
tain a few of the 1878 illusions they
had when they rented the place.
1t may continue to be tho ideal
apartment for - hours after you move
In. On the second day you begin look
ing again for the ideal apartment.
The trouble with every ideal apart
ment is that there is something the
matter with IL.
When you give up searching for the
Ideal apartment you move out to the
suburbs into house that you buy, a
dollar down and a dollar when caught.
At the end of the year you move back
into town into some nobody's ideal
apartment.
AS somebody once said: what is
home without another?
DR.. Mayo says elderly men are the
best assets of the nation. We can't
say whether we agree with him until
ne tells us just where mis- idea of
elderly begins. II it begins at forty.
the doc. is undoubtedly correct.
"Guerr Til quit work and 20 fishing
said the man.
John" said the wife. 'if you dir
your own bait and honestly try to
catch fish. itll be the hardest work
you've done In many day."
A doctor came up to a patient In
a lunatic asylum. slapped him on the
back and said: well, old man,
you're all right You can run along
and write your folks that you'll be
back home in two weeks as good as
new"
The patient went off gaily to write
his letter. He had 1t finished and
sealed, but as he was about to affix
the stamp the latter slipped through
his fingers to the floor, alighted on
the back of q cockroach that was
passing. and stuck. The patient
hadn't seen the cockroach. What he
did see was his escaped postage
stamp zigzagging aimlessly across
the floor land following a crooked
trail up the wall and across the CELL
Ing.
In depressed silence he tore up the
letter that he had just written and
dropped the pieces on tho floor.
1.-TWO weeks!" he said. II won't be
out Of here In three years"
"You say you are lifelong Demo-
craft"
Eyes. sir! That's what I am"
but just what do you mean by
Democrat"
Guess I'll quit work and 20 fishing"
ticular about the meaning. Demo-
crat is sort Of part Of my name.
same as BILL"
DO you think marching in q pa
rade helps a movement"
I'VE don't ALWAYS see immediate
results, perhaps. However, I consider
It better than running round In cir
cles."