The sun., 1919-04-13
A NUTCAKE RHAPSODY.
Chanted by q Man From Ohio After
Partaklng OF Petits Fours.

IN mere 10 say TO the WOrlo, ue-
clared citizen Of the Western Re
serve. part of Ohio many OF whose
residents cling fondly to the old name,
that I can deliver Z. o. b. anywhere
lot of gilt edged backing to the
proposition that some folks may be
quietly sane elsewhere and rockingly
loony in New York.
me, I'm here two weeks twice each
year. and fetch along the wife and
our eldest daughter in the fall 30 that
the daughter can have the art benefit
Of grand opera and dancing lessons;
in the spring so that both can have
the benefit Of shopping, for which 1
release myself from some roll, some
roll. I'm admitting to you, friend. No
kick. though. I've got 1t to unload,
and I part with grace and dignity as
our Oldest girl always urges me to do
when she separates me from a peak
load. At homo she plays tennis on our
front yard court with her brothers,
wearing knicks and a sleeveless Jersey.
But on the Avenue, buddy, she is all
there and then some with the grace
and dignity. Her dad says 30.
But about these here ordinary,
common sense Western Reserve folks
who dine at 1880 TO the second at
home, have coffee, cornmeal mush with
sugar and cream, boiled eggs, chops
and hot breads for breakfast at Z
o'clock; never have tea but drink lots
OF tea at 6 o'clock supper with hot
soda biscuits, which are biscuits and
not crackers, with honey thick onto
them: who call on ne,ghbors in the
evening without being asked who
wear the clothes they put on in the
morning until they go TO bed at night
I'm talking about those kinds of
folks who get little rifty in the reef,
a trifie split In the bean. II you get
me. when they sojourn in the mid
section Of the neck of land bounded on
the west by the extremely well known
North River.
But, brother no need TO tell New
Yorker anything about the meal hours
Of hicks like us with money to spend
and spending 1t when at one Of your
largest boarding houses on the Ave-
nue. or nigh thereunto. That's an old
story; 10 o'clock breakfast in our
rooms, mostly orange juice or grape
fruit and meal check, and so on all
the way through TO after midnight
supper with jazz and dancing on the
side. both sides, all sides.
What I'm leading gently along to-.
Mr.. Man, is this tea proposition.
Mother and the girl hog tie me for
that: it's bad form. they allow, for
unattended females to be restaurant
ing on the high spots, but on the level
it's because I'm rather handy at fixing
the head waiter for a good table where
the swells can be lamped by the la
dies OF my party, and to pay the meal
ticket. I'm not so much Of comeon
as not to run a thoughtful glimpse
down the invoice. and what started
me on this line of talk was an item
1 struck the other day:
Petits tours. .................$1 $3.50
make inquiry. and daughter wises me
that they are little cakes. They were
little, but oh. my. Brown and yellow
and pink and white models of airshIpc,
submarines and gas bombs. One and
one-f1fth bones Tor six little cute
cuties which IL you ate peck of EN-
wouldn't come any nearer curing your
hunger than smelling a violet.
II just laughed. All of sudden
those petits tours stood for the whole
insane proposition which we were
boosting along with our money belts
flying to the four winds of Manhat-
tan. Do you know what came into my
mind? Don't answer. ] was thinking
what those native swells around u.s.
wearing billion dollars worth OF furs,
would do if they each had a hunk
OF my favorite kind Of cake the missus
makes. Faint, l guess.
Ever eat Western Reserve nutcake?
No? Citizen. you've something better
to live for than cutting coupons.
Every fall my boys row two or
three miles up the river above the
furnaces and rolling mills. nuttiug.
What they hurl the good old clubs up
among the branches at, having pops
tip in mind. are hickory nuts. butter
nuts and walnuts. Not the kind Of
walnuts you crack with little silver
uO-uduS, Ddl lie hiliu you u am WIN
a hammer on a flatrion held between
your knees: you sitting in front OF
the fire while the wife reads a nice
long letter from Aunt Sarah, the boys
pretend to study lessons and daughter
plays the latest New York musical
successes on the pianola. That's the
way you crack all those nuts after
they have dried in the garnet where
the boys spread them on the floor.
"Mother-the wife. ! mean-takes
about "A pound Of those nut meats,
chops them up and mixes them in a
rich batter lots of sugar and butter
and eggs and cream and everything,
and bakes them into nutcakes as big
ms a loaf OF bread. III say that an
inch thick slice OF nutcake has more
Joy and forty times more chewing
than bushel OF petits fours; has
more goodness than anything out
side the Bible, and would make a
shell shocked kitten tote n saddle pack
an army mule would swear at.
Friend. I'm not here to I'LL you with
fairy stories as well you might think
when I ask you to take il straight
from responsible citizen informed
by his wife that a nutcake served at n
sewing circle has been known by its
soothing qualities to cut out scandal,
and enough of il literally served with
rich coffee and cream at a mite society
meeting has actually made deacons
agree that the DaStor'S nav was too