Ashland weekly tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1919-1924, 1919-12-17

NO WOnueT lueH VIC uSO INV NA"e
To make our food more rich.
NEW YORK.-With the cost OF
eggs mounting to $3.50 per dozen
even the Prince of Wales, Emma
Goldman or the misguided female
who invented and wears those bifur-
Gated garments, dubbed harleys,
pales into insignificance as a topic
of public interest alongside an egg.
Hence feel it was timely effort
on my part to have got in close per-
sonal touch with thin-shelled mem
ber of the family, no less an egg
salted parsonage than 1919 egg.
l found Mr.. Egbert Egg carefully
reposed in his private compartment
at the Carton. He was tastefully at
tired in white with the date of his
birth stamped in heliotrope on his
left side in much the same manner
that our best dressers are showing
the monogram on the shirt sleeve.
Well, what can l do for you, my
dear young lady?" he said eggily
when | had introduced myself. 81
can give you just fifteen minutes as
have an important date, with d
custard at the end of that time and
will certainly have to beat it.
81 would like to get your eggsact
opinion anent the present eggsorbi-
tant price of eggs" said l.
"In the first place, | don't consid-
er the price eggsorbitant," replied
Eggbert, much eggsasperated. All
the fuss is a great eggsageration.
Why, we are only beginning to get
our just due. And believe me, the
price is going higher and higher. A
drop in eggs at the present moment
would only spell disaster for | as
sure you all the best eggs would be
quite broken up in consequence.
"You must consider what a royal
part our family has always played
rim history. Humpty-Dumpty, our an
cester, was quite chummy with a
king and Columbus used an egg to
demonstrate his big idea to Isabella.
I was talking to a Chicago cold stor-
age egg the other day who knew this
Columbus egg personally Now am
just fresh young egg compared to
some of those older boys, but take
it you are after fresh viewpoint,
are you not?"
When / assured him I was, Egg
bert lost all reticence. He came
right out of his shell and unbosomed
himself entirely frankly eggsuding
all the family secrets.
Naturally, / am mighty proud of
my family, for while my mother was
an old hen, she was of excellent
breeding and my father was certain
ly the cock of the walk. My brothers
and sisters are all good eggs and If
some of the boys are a little too fresh
and we all have yellow streak, why
it's only egg nature after all and
eggs will be eggs, you know. All
boiled down, really eggsult in the
fact that my immediate family sets
such good eggsample for other
eggs.
"To be sure, there are dark spots
in our ancestry Just as there are, no
doubt, in yours. / am free to con-
fess that the cold storage branch
of the family is rotten and even in
the most respectable egg family you
occasionally find a bad egg. Take
my cousin, Eggmount for instance,
there was bad egg for you. He
trained with a bunch of eggs that
were in bad odor with the health de-
partment. They eggserted an evil
influence over him and egged him
on the road to ruin. Poor fellow he .
had a sad end. He got mashed on
an actress and went all to pieces.
There has always been quite an
affinity between our family and the
theater. Quite dozens of us have
made hits on the stage.
"My cousin Eglantin was a tenn
peramental young egg Most people
on seeing her said, oh, isn't that
egg flip?' but | really eggsonerate
her Of such a charge. It was just
her eggshilerating spirits She really
did get to going bit too strong,
though, and one Easter she dyed her
hair and painted her face and went
to the White House to an egg rolling.
Friends who saw her last said she
was going down hill very fast.
But, mercy me-" murmured Mr..
Eggbert contritely, 1--WE not only
eggshausted the subject but you also.
As a parting word I'd like to ask
you to eggshort the public not to
kick on the high cost OF eggs. Re-
member, we are Just full of nutri-
ton and albumen and equal to
pound Of meat"
And Mr.. Eggbert Egg scrambled
up and made his eggsit.
Delightful Card Party