davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1919-04-25
Once-Overs
CopyTtSht 1912 International Feature Service Inc
GO TO THE ANT, THOU SLUCGARD.


GO TO THE ANT, THOU SLUCGARD.
You allowing yourself to become lazy.
You constantly leaving undone duties which you say you are
reality neglected because Of tagging
ambition
yourself that when have
decided things another day because are so
weary all sudden you filled with astonishing ambition II more
congena tasks appear to claim your attention
You half "worn ont have been making your
self believe
feeling rapidly evapOrates under interesting con-
ditions.
Doesn't prove you lying down your job? 49,,
foolish idea that when work that
storing energy for something ese for there vast
difference between tagging and resting up
Tagging you establishes bad habit hard to over
,...
time rest and earnest expeditions effort
work. the only plan to get results satisfactory 70
You're and to your self respect.
You haven't any real self respect if laggard
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

The children of the country have friend In Daniel O..
Roper Commissioner of Internal Revenue.
BE reads the law as the protector Of those little
who cannot protect themselves and has just issued ruling
that going bring tears to the eyes Of those rich men
who have been heaes enough to add to their wealth by
extracting profits from the bodies of child workers
Commissioner Ropers attitude toward child labor is
made public through document which he has just issued
containing his Interpretation Of section Of the
act of 1918, which becomes effective today.
This section provides that any Of any mine or
quarry mill factory where children under fourteen
years of age permitted to work during any portion Of
the taxable year. shall be taxed per of the profits
made by the establishment
This means that one child works one hour in the year
onetenth of the entire profits shall be paid to the Gov
ernment.
That touches the employer of child labor where he is
tenderest.
His lawyers could protect him from all the other kinds
of laws, State and national that have been passed
They could keep him out Of prison and keep the
children at work.
But here is National Government department which
IS going to make him report the and age Of every child
that works for him
It going to check up his truthfuness by inspectors
who win investigate the reports he is found falsiyng
the age Of child making the child itself fasfy its age
there is substantial fine waiting for him in Federal
court.
Then order that the collection may be ample in case
be does employ child labor he will be required to furnish
sworn statement Of profits and for attempting to evade
defeat the provisions of the law the gentleman viii
penalty Of $4,000 fine Imprisonment for one year
or both together with the cost of prosecution.
This law appears to have full set of teeth
It looks like something that will put end to boys
coal mines and girls in cotton mills savng their lives out
Tor pitiful wage.
The camoufage of free schools advertised as main
4aned by generous employers but to which the children
never had a chance to go will disappear
Special editions Of newspapers subsidized to publish
glowing accounts of how happy and healthy the little work
ing children will no longer be profitable.
The children at last to have into their own
They thought that they had won victory in 1916
when Congress passed foriddng the movement
IN interstate commerce of the products of child labor
But two years later the Supreme Court decided that
that law unconstitutional the ground that it
nged the rights of the States to control such questions
Commissioner Roper, however, has a law and
to have interpreted its true purpose and announces
MS intention to see that it is enforced
There a thousand statues to the man who freed
he slaves There will time be thousand more to
those who made certain the freedom and health and happi
ness of children.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

Here is one for your mathematical
wizards: A street car is operated
seven miles at a cost OF 800,
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

Tell me, what did Commissioners
Gardiner ever do about those IRE
insurance companies he was going
to hamestring? And that dog Eax:
FRED 8. WALKER.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25
What's funnier than the bronze
whiskers On the DupOnt statue?

An answer to the above:
Observe the bald-headed nan. He
spends half an hour each morning
rubbing lather on his face to expe-
dite the removal Of q bristly growth
Of beard. Then he goes over the
top into no mans land and spends
another half hour rubbing marvellous
preparations on the shining surface
Of his dome in an effort to restore 20
life a few dfsheartened hairs. Why
does he endeavor to promote growth
on q smooth and barren waste? 1Tis
futile. Why doesn't he let them grow
where the soil is fertile? A problem.
HAROLD p. STODDARD.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

Mr.. Ham is very anxious 70 give
the public adequate service. The
only condition is that he expects 10
be well paid for it.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

WILLIAM ]. EVANS, chief inspec-
tor Of elevators, has it in mind to
find out from army officials whether
he can place some Of the jobless and
convalescent soldiers as elevator
operators.
That's a good plan, and / happen
to know that many a business house
in Washington viii gladly give ele-
Vator jobs to soldiers at any time.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

Mr.. EvGns has his mind oR the
BIG question Of finding occupation
foP returned soldiers. Everyone Ia
Washington should eaSaGIGts has e1-
GRspIs, and out of the concentrated
tkoH0kt, on the JOBLESS SOL
DER problem zoe ought to gel
something worth tOkiIs.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25

II j o1
respectfully
of in Wonderland"
found
blndy trusted
and
In \
of
lIf others have done Il not WeR
Whether or not Daniel Defoe was BolsheVis Of the
early eighteenth century, let say that school teachers
devoted considerable of their time to the wonderful story
telling ability of Defoe and the pure English Of Robinson
Crusoe and if pupils would study the clear thinking and
the elearcut expressions used by Defoe in writing this
charming tale would have less sloppy thinking and less
inaccurate writing.
Daniel Defoe scheming, intriguing journalist he
wrote what he believed to be the popular side Of pretty
NEARLY every public question of his day Frequently he
attempted the marvellous feat Of standing both sides Of
la public question at Had he been in Washington
to-day he could write in favor Of tencen fare for the
Washington Railway and Electric Company, and could also
put up very plausible argument in favor of return the
old six-for-a-quarter ticket He ckster with Ian
guage He wrote many books and many pamphlets bat
lit had not been for Robinson Cusoe he probably would
have been heard of today except by the specialists in
the eighteenth century literature.
Teachers do not worry Take my advice and Eli in the
chinks in your spare current topic hours by little nstruc
ton on Robinson Crusoe. believe he is safe.
The Washington times., 1919-04-25
The Emancipation of Child
Labor


Commissioner Roper's Ruling Seems to Put an End to
Profit Making Along That Line.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
A DEMOCRATIC ELEVEN

From the Cleveland Piain Dealer. Walter Camp. Americas highest foot
 ball authority. each year presents an "A1l American eleven" composed of the men who, in his judgment. are the eleven best players of the season. It
 was not so very long ago that this myth ica1 team was almost if not quite wholly
 composed of players representing the
 eastern football oligarchy of Harvard.
 Yaie, Princeton and Pennsylvania. AS
 football developed 1t became necessary
 for MT. Camp occasionally to include a
 player of one of the great western uni-
 versailles or of one of the lesser eastern football has been accurataely mirrored in
 Mir. Crump's selections from year to
 year. The season of 1919 may be regard
 ed as a climax. Just two ''big four
 players. one of Harvard and one of Penn
 syivania are on the All-American list.
 while one player from Ohio State univer- sity is the sole representation of the big western institutions.
 Eight of the eleven selections are men representing institutions commonly
 known as -the smaller colleges" though this designation is not always apprepri- ate. Pennsylvania State college, West vir-
 ginia university, Colgate, Syracuse, Dart
 mouth and Washington and Jefferson each has one representative on Mir. Camps eleven, while the greatest mir
 acie of all is that Center college of Ken lucky, a country institution with an en- rolled membership of les sthan 20. has two places and is the only institution
 thus honored.
 It is far cry from the days when liar yard, Yale, Princeton and Pennsylvania
 monopolized the football honors. This
 year the combined efforts of the ''big four land, but two men on the Camp team, precisely the number accorded to
 Center college.
 Truly football has ceased to be a game
 for the few. It is game for the many,
 and the barriers of clique with the col leges as well as the arbitrarily elected
 barriers erected among the colleges are things of the past.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
THE PATHOS OF CHRISTMAS

mas carols they add curses, or signs, or both.
 ' It is very sad that such things must be, but the condition will exist until we shall have learned the simple lesson of brotherhood, so easy to learn, but apparently so difficult to practice be- cause of our innate human selfisness or our callous indifference
 These children outside the windows make us sorrowful May that feeling inspire all of us to do something, how ever little. to take from their childish lips and the lips of their parents a cup which contains draught moro bitter than the waters of Marah
 This is the joy season. I1et all of us join the Good Fellows'' or emulate their splendid service to the lone and lorn lads and lassies who are stand ing out there feasting their eyes upon the glories of Santaland. out there by the gorgeous windows. Humanity wfll- ingly should bow before tho wonder and the majesty of the child; for in the child reposes all that can mako for the welfare and stability of the future or contribute to its degeneracy and final wreck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19

It has been discovered that General Pershing can sing. Still, it would be safe to bet g to nickel that nobody has ever heard him sing, I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles"
 % % #
 Genuine Chartreuse is quoted at $50 a quart Which is probably due tor The fact that ''moonshiners'' have not yet mastered the art of distilling Chartreuse
 E z %
 Mir. Bryan is one of the few former members of Mr. Wilson's cabinet who didn't resign primarily because of the high cost of living.
 * $ E
 It's lucky everybody doesn't think him. self fitted for the presidency. Otherwise who would attend to business during a campaign year7
 # # F
 That shipment Of machine guns from Germany, destined for Mexico, could not have been desired solely to put down 'Pancho." * # #
 In contradistinction to Mir. Dempsey Georges Carpenter has a war record that does not call for apologies or explan- ations. We arc greatly treasured. "Ambassa- dor" Martens says Emma and Alex vii not be murdered in soviet Russia % # % The end of the world just at this time would have been & terrible blow to Uncle Sam's foreign trade. % # H pr. Garfield has quit, but as long as he lives the sight of coal pile will make him grow thoughtful. % # # Here's the New Year almost upon us and we are still moving in that 'vicious circle" + % x Happy the shopper who has already gone lover the top" l # # # l A ton of coal makes an acceptable Christmas gift
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS.

There never was a case in which a woman got so hard of hearing that she was deaf to flattery.
 We want to predict that prohibition will never be successfully enforced in this country for the reason that the Anti Saloon league is not the gov ernment.
 You think that you are a pretty nice fellow, don't you? Well. the betting is that if you ever had to associate with any one precisely like yourself you would want to swat him.
 You can't make woman believe 1t. But the photographer is the only beau and blemishes.
 We know at least one woman who is entitled to divorce. Her husband insists on calling his second wife by his first wife's name.
 One way to get popular and retain popularity is to make a habit of get ting people to believe that they know more than you do.
 When a man quits working he can't resist the temptation to go and poster those who haven't quit. Don't feel cheap just because you discover that you have been sold. The time to feel cheap is when you have to admit to yourself that you have been bought.
 Many a man imagines that he is strong minded when there is nothing strong about him except his. breath.
 He doesn't realize it But tho luck fest man on earth is the fellow who has a wife who really likes him
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
Has Hard Luck With Dogr

"All of my friends know my fond ness for bird dogs" said E. Rowe, "but some of my recent experiences have been enough to dampen my ardor for trying to raise them in city like Bir mingham. I had several pups just right to be trained and along came the distemper and in a few weeks they died. Then the mother failed to show ups for several days, and in spite of advertising and searches it was nearly a week before friend called me up and said there was a dog in one of his outhouses which had been badly hurt that might be the one I was looking for. Sure enough it was her, and. in such a pftiable condition. Evidently an automobile or a street car had run over her. She was hurt in rmany places and one leg cut off. I gath cred her up and took her down to a veterinarian and had her patched up. I do not supposed I'll ever quit keep- ing pointer, but it is a mighty dis coraging thing after my recent ex- periences"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
CHICAGO SHOCKS PREACHERS

the average Chicago family in the past year spent 50 cents on books-and $17 on whisky and beer! And $S.66 on movies-nothing but entertainment. Ii is shocking. intend to prepare sermon and bring the facts home te my congregation next Sunday"
 The Rev. William c. Golden, presi- dent of the conference and pastor of the Diversey Boulevard Methodist Epis- cipal church, red the Washington re- port with evident anger. He referred 1t to a committee headed by the Rev. A. T. Stevenson, pastor of the Olivet Methodist Episcopal church.
 Now for the other side of the scan dal Jim Murphy was asked to speak for publication. He splintered the quarters, 115 West Madison street, with his fist, exposed the veins in his neck and boomed thus:
 sIt Is all the bunk, I know. Amt I the financial secretary of the barkeeps! Think of any guy bein' able to buy s17 worth of bourbon for his sufferin' fams fly in Chicago! It can't be done. Bu> if the supreme court had ripped 'em open wide today and then each and every family would have swallowed SIT worth of hooch inside of four minutes"
 'The newspapers have so many fea- tures-no wonder the average Chicago family only spends half a dollar year for books,' said A. Kroch, bookseller, 22 North Michigan avenue. "Logically. book sales have increased since pro- hibition. But tell the preachers not to worry-Chicago is becoming a high brow center. Why, poetry sells better thap pova1S poxvt,,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
Need Increased Facilities

"The railroads have done well by Birmingham, but the paramount need of an industrial district producing heavy products of our kind has always been for increased transportation fa- cilities." said Harry W. Coffin, 'presi- dent of the Alabama Power company.
 'The war hastened the crisis in the rail systems, but the necessity for de- velopment of water transportation was beginning to be recognized even before the war: We know, now, that the Warrior river is an invaluable auxil- iary to our railroad facilities It has been developed for us, terminal facil- ities have been provided, and now it remains for us to see that use is made of it. Unless sufficient tonnage is fur nished by the shippers of this district to justify the maintenance of the barge line the government has given us, we will lose the vessels and the terminal facilities at Short Creek will not pay for themselves.
 With superior rail and water faci1- tiles. this district should expand tre- mendously, especially along export lines"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
From the Chicago News

HHWR YELL. for gracious sakei WW What's the matter with Chicago; has the village gone pleasure mad? Indignant clergy men attending the Methodist ministers conference today at the First Metho- dist church, IT West Washington street, breathed shocked differences to that gay old jade, Rome. that got the cabaret habit and went to the dogs. 'Is Chicago the modern Rome?" they de- handed
 Threats were made by the ministers proclivities from the pulpit in forth coming sermons. The outraged feelings of the churchmen at the conference was the outcome of a few innocent statis- tics from Washington. Had German Gothas dropped some of their eggs" in the loop today they wouldn't have created such an explosion. "Chicago's average liquor expendi- turc during the past year was the high est of thirty big cities" said the off cldl government report. Ihe Neia6o Chicago family bought $17.o1 worth of liquor.
 For church work" added the report,
 "s,S6 was spent the last year by the
 average Chicago family; movies, ss.66,
 and for books, 51 cents"
 Chicago should bow it's head in
 shamep' thundered the Rev. c. K Car penter, pastor of the Ravenswood
 Methodist Episcopal church, at the
 ministers conference today. These official statistics show the city has rnno wild on nlea sl1ra Tn think tha f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
RELEASED

Nv Berton Braley, in the Home Sector. Q Never had we master to say us Yea or
 Nay Or ever hearth or home for which to But when the sound of cannon came
 booming down the way We joined the columns marching day
 and night We joined as blithe adventurous who
 sought fresher thrill, Who dreamed of war as splendid as .
 flame; We found it but a sullen thing. . bloody.
 muddy mill That ground grist forevermore the
 same. And we who had been masterless and
 free of foot and hand Were bound by rule and discipline and
 code, And kept to soggy trenches that zig
 gagged through the land. Or held to slogging marches oa cul
 road
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 C0N HERE is a more or less active
 association of kind spirits in
 this country which is known as the Good Fellows" And they truly are good fellows. They seek to trans late the Christmas spirit into works of concrete good. They make it their business in this and many other cities to do what they can for children who to hope from Santa Claus.
 It makes the heart sad to see cer- tain children outside the lovely display windows at this season. They are for lorn waifs, indeed. Too often the par ents of such children greet the advent of the day with bitterness of heart. They discover a patent irony in the fact that Savior of the world wrought and taught for the poor of the earth, when modern society closes it's eyes to SO much of childish longing. human pride and suffering. Many such par ents hate Christmas with a very real hatred. They love their children, but they cannot do for them as they would. Too often they have the inclination and the ability to work and are un- able to find work to do- Perhaps there is not much of this sad condi- -tion in this city. but always. every where, there are some who are not able to enter into the spirit of the season. They see their own children grouped about the windows; they hear the pa thetic wishings and longings of these little ones; they realize their helpless ness; and so to the chime of the Christ mas bells and the swell of the Christ
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19

Tho youths from shop and office found
 life braver thing Than all their drab existence of the
 past, But we who knew the open trail. the fret
 of winds in spring God, how we hated war that bound us
 fast! And yet somehow we stuck 1t cut Der
 perhaps because we know That if the world was conquered hy
 the Hun .~FN There'd be no placa for wanderer1 b.
 meath the vault of blue, No road for careless souls beneath the
 sun. But now-But now it's over. the great
 world calls again ~ Before our feet the paths again are There aren't so osmany left of us who oncs<
 were rowing men, But Lord. there's plenty lsft for - .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Busy 1rme For Chief Shirley

Police Chief Thomas J. Shirley Is anything except lonesome man. Talk about trouble-thaes the chiefs name. With the yuletide and blithesome New Year upon him, Chief Shirley is buster than the Georgia merchant who didn't advertise.
 He had a flock of cooties and a Waterbury watch" the chief said When @he wasn't scratching he was winding his watch"
 Petty thievery, complaints from autoists, stories of poverty, tales of woe and every conceivable rumor of misery-they always. invariably, pile up during the holiday season.
 "I think I'll lock myself up, wear mufflers, go out in the back yard and eat worms" the chief declared. Won der if Doc Bowling could give me something to make me forget. I'm liv- ing until January 1T
 Here I've been contemplating a merry Christmas and happy New Year in prosperous season, everybody working and the goose hanging high, when these birds come around and tell me everything diresome from wife go- ing back to mother, husband breaking the bric-a-brac, on down the line"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
HE'LL CARRY ON
e Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 Speaker Gillett, of the National House, has just received bequest of S100,oo But we suppose he will hang onto the honorarium provided by the government for sacrificing statesmen who unfortunately find themselves in Congress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19
A Tax on Chickens

Although there has been much talk abroad that chickens are not taxable. .'' stated Tax Assessor D. E. McLendon, still it can easily be shown in refer ence to the ad valorem tax collected by the state that as small a number as one chicken could be made taxable. On the face of the return that is made by the property holder, there are shown at the very top the following six classifications: Cattle, hogs, sheep. goats, poultry and household goods. Now if person making return assesses any of the above at $150 or over he is liable for any number of the other classificaions owned by him. and should he have just one chicken. according to a strict compliance with the law, he is supposed to pay a tax on this chicken. This is given merely as an illustration, as the very small amounts are not bothered with, and it is only where the person owns a large number of poultry that he is made to pay tax. The tax on poultry is just the same as on other belongings. s1.so per $100."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-19

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God, give me n genuine passion for my Lord. Makk my religion personal. a matter of personal devotion, of personal love, of the sweetness of personal communion. O Redeemer of the souls of men, burn out the selfishness that usurps Thy place in my life. Amen.-H. M. E.