Trench and camp. ([Admiral, Md.) 1917-1919, 1919-01-02
Gashouse Boy Enjoyed
German Hunting License


been written by American soldiers.
but the following, written by . for
nner New York "Gashouse Gangster"
ana racetrack tout to his mother, 10
considered exceptional:
Somewhere at the Front in France.
August 10, 1918.
Ny Dear Beneficiary:
Your scathing letter of July 10 at
nand and needless to say 1t found
your big, handsome SON enjoying ex-
istence.
Now, darling, by the tone of this
violet-scented note you can readily
see ] am In the pink of condition.
My step is quick, my eye IL clear and
my fertile brain is working over
time. The beer muscles have melted
from my Greeklike figure. Dissipa.
ton is scratched. have placed
Church in the entries and with q good
ride we'll finish way UP in the money
am thoroughly converted, AMI
hereafter I'll be friend OF the cops.
I am very sorry now | did not fol-
low your advice and become a men,
Der OF the cloth, but the ecclesiastical
calling did not appeal to me then
know you would be tickled to death
TO see Rev. attached to my monicker
Just another case of a misguided
youth.
Never mind. old sparring partner.
every time steel tube busted over
my handsome nut it found me MUIR
muring "Our Father, Who are in
heaven" etc. long before its frag-
ments settled on terra firma. Moth
ing lukewarm about your dazzling
Wilbur.
So you say paid you a visit.
His advice may be o. K, but all can
say Is, Truly Warner doesn't make
'em small enough" He has the
brains Of Gunboat Smith. It's about
time the family asked for waivers
on him. Where there's no sense
there's no feeling" Give him the
ozone the next time he drops in and
tries to talk you into making a sky
pilot OF me.
His notorious SON, after diligent
study and hard work, has been re-
warded with the glorious honor of a
promotion. He Is now first-class pri-
vate. The other boy, I'm told, is
working to advance himself from the
rank of common sailor and become a
sailor. can see no reason why, with
the backing of the community, the
prayers of his family and a strict
adherence to the straight and mar
row, that the finish of the interna-
tional quarrel will not find one SON
an acting corporal and the other lad
swabbing even an Admiral's side of
10 hn
right dope and Sherman knew FIVE
or six. The old man has as many
friends as an alarm clock
So you miss me very much at
home now, Ell? Well, amt it won
derful the change one short year
does bring! You never missed me In
the old days-every one of your
Dresden cups caromed of my think
tank in those good old days. II Rube
Vanguard had your speed and con-
troll, McGraw would never have let
him 60.
know the truth will leak out
sooner or later, 80 must risk shock
ing your delicate nature by telling
you I've had coolies.
Yes, darling, for the past month
every available opportunity finds me
WAtH myD. V. q. In my m1tL. l give
them the north and south. and take
It from me, l have found them %
large as oats on the underwear. They
are as scarce as fiivvers on a Detroit
boulevard. My pastime has been
reading the shirt. Hence the SEEM
ing neglect of corresponding with
those near and dear to me. At last
have the coolies beaten. take my
shirt of, take O handful of salt and
walk down to a brook. Arriving at
the brook / throw salt all over the
shirt. In few minutes those gigan-
tic coolies have tasted the salt, leave
the shirt to Quench their thirst and
wander to the stream. And then,
while the coolies are intent on drink
ing and have their faces down 50 they
can't see me, I tiptoe away and at
last make a Decline to camp, freed 1
of the demons for the night. But
don't worry. dearest, about the little
coolies lost in the dark beside the
lovely little brook. In the gathering
dawn they find their way back to me.
Well, darling, I guess I'll call it o
day Hoping you, dad and the rest
of the family enjoy your vacation at
Poverty Beach, l remain,
Your Big, Handsome Meal Ticket.
(Europes Prize Waltzer.)