davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
Identified HEX ALL RIGHT
Tots Proved They Knew Principal,
Though Their Explanation Might
Have Been More Dignified.

Ned and Joseph, two tots in the
first primary grade, had been fight
ing on the way home from school at
noon. Their own teacher scolded
them, but it did no good, for they
fought again on the way home that
very noon. The teacher went to the
principal. II want you to say some
thing to them," she told her. "Tm
sure they will be more impressed
then"
That afternoon the principal did as
she was asked. She talked long and
earnestly on the evils Of fighting, but
neither of the culprits seemed the
least bit moved. Finally she ended,
"Now, I say you must not fight, and
I mean it." Grimly she eyed them.
"And you both know who I am
don't your"
Both nodded their heads and Joe
said cheerfully, "Why, you're the lady
who rings the bell for the other teach
ers--aren't your"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

Claire-till her mother arrived, ant
Mrs. Delario wouldn't on account of
her work, and what sort of work could
it possibly be?
I saw by that that Mrs. Delario
hadn't taken Claire much into her con-
fidence-Claire said even her father
couldn't guess what Mrs. Delario did,
exactly, though he thought he knew
a little. only he didn't know that la
dies did it in America.
While 1 was considering what I'd
better say the clock struck and |
bounced out of my chair in hurry
it was the hour Of an appointment,
and here was five miles away, gos-
siping.
1 told Claire had to run, and she
followed me to my bedroom while /
got my coat, and it was she who ex-
claimed, "Why, there's Mrs. Delario's
slipper She's hunted everywhere for
it. You picked it up at the customs
house and put it in your suitcase"
''Fm the thief" I laughed, slipping
on my coat.
Claire took a couple of steps toward
the slippers and said, "Ill take it back
to her."
"No, my dear-just leave it. / don't
know which is hers-I see Mrs. Jimm-
son has mixed them all up-and ]
haven't time TO find out now"
"Oh, 1 can soon tell" and Claire was
about to ,pounce on them, but headed
her off.
''That's a matter for me to attend
to, Claire, and entirely between Mrs.
Delario and myself"
BY this time / had on my veil and
gloves, and hearing the elevator stop
ping at the floor, / shooed Claire and
bolted for 1t.
Now I'd looked at the slippers as
Claire spoke, and they were standing
HEEL TO THE WALL, between a
pair of oxford ties and a pair Of
bath slippers that were toe to the
WALL as were all the rest but these
three slippers; and I noticed this par
ticularIy and remembered 1t later COM
ing home In the cars when the incident
required to me, and wondered why
since Claire was no longer with Mrs
Delario-she had been so anxious tt
take the slipper back, and If she need
ed an excuse possibly-to her father
for going to the house to see her
friend, and how if it hadn't been fol
Mrs. Jimmson l could have let her
take the slipper and been glad to have
her do it and how. Mrs. Jimmson must
have pleased herself in placing the
slippers just that way, backs to the
wall, so they'd show off to best advan-
tage as works of art and decorate the
room at large with their beauty; and
how 1t must have puzzled her to find
three slippers all alike in my room
not two, not four, but three; and why
three? And what would the good
creature say If 1 told her I'd stolen the
odd one?
These thoughts may seem too trivial
to mention, but the point is that /
ously suggested by the way Jimmson
placed the slippers, heel to the wall.
But here's the uncanny thing that hap
pened: When / got home one hour
after seeing them that way and turned
on the light my eyes fell upon the
slippers-THEY WE'RE ALL TOEING
THE WALL.
7, gave me such shock that sat
flop down on the bed. So far as
knew not a human soul had entered
during my absence of one hour and
some minutes, nor was there any evil
dence that anything else In the place
had been touched-the other shoes
stood toe to the wall just as I'd seen
them when I went out with Claire.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
Finds a Giant Spruce.

N. L. Carey, forest assistant in the
Olympic national forest, has discov-
cred what he believes to be the largest
spruce tree in the world, says the
American Forestry Magazine of Wash
ington. 1t measures Is feet in diam
eter Az feet from the ground. 1t is
on the south side of the Solduck river.
The top was broken off $50 feet above
the ground.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

Stuffed Ii in Among Sone Clothes.
seconds later saw my cousin, who
should have met me, coming up on the
trot.
He made the first sensible sugges-
ton that had been offered-that as
Mrs. Delario had Claire in charge
she'd better take the child home with
her and cable to the father for instruc
tons.
The slipper was all this while in my
hand, and without giving it another
thought-indeed, hardly being con-
scious what / did stuffed 1t in
among some clothes in my own suit
case and shut the lid and away we
went Wasn't 1t, under the circum-
stances. perfectly natural thing to
do? Well, the moral is "don't"-don't
every carry off an old slipper unless
you're sure it's yours. That old slip
per nearly cost me my sanity and my
life!
Now, when I unpacked ] found the
slipper, but even then it didn't occur
to me that 1t wasn't mine-I merely
wondered how I'd lost the mate, and it
was a couple of days before / got to
the bottom of the other suitcase and
found my own pair neatly done up in
tissue paper. OF course / knew in
stantly that the old slipper was Mrs.
Delario's, and remembered then how
I'd carried it off; but 1 didn't have
box suitable for sending it through the
mail to her, so I set it on a chest
where I'd be sure to see it and not let
it get mixed with mine, meaning to
take it down to the house as soon as
I could find time for it. And thus
several more days went by, and
forgot the slipper and that Mrs. Jimm-
son was coming to clean. / some
how assumed that Mrs. Jimmson had
sense enough to see it was an odd
slipper and leave it on the chest
where she found it, but you never
can tell what anybody will do-per-
haps she'd have done just the same if
I'd told her not to: for she mixed
those slippers up and set them in
row beside my bed along with oxford
ties and bath slippers.
1t was on the day that Mrs. Jimm-
son cleaned that Claire came tripping
up to see me and tell me that her ia
Their had arrived.
1t was the first time I'd seen her
since we'd parted at the cable office,
and of course had to spare her a
few minutes and hear what she had to
say. She was staying with her father
at hotel-mamma hadn't yet come,
because grandpapa was dying every
day and she didn't dare to leave him.
And then she suddenly wished to know
If all Americans lived the way Mrs.
Delario did, and did american ladies
work?
I had to ask her what she meant,
and she explained that everything at
Mrs. Delario's was $50 unlike the way
they lived abroad" that Mrs. Delario
never left her bedroom unlocked for
a single minute; that all the upstairs
rooms were locked; that she made
Claire-keep her door locked,
because" she said, ''you never can
TELL" that people, most of whom were
strangers, were coming to the house
all day from nine till five. Mrs. Della
rio called them "sitters'' and gave
them readings" in an awfully queer
room where the shutters weren't ever
opened; and she - Claire-believed
that Mrs. Delario took money for
these readings, though she never would
say what she read; and If she took
money how could she be a lady?
Though she was very nice and kind
and papa wanted her to keep her
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
Turtle unstops Sewer.

To open a stopped up sewer pipe,
Frank Ward of Richmond, Mo-, caught
small turtle and cut sEau hole in
its shell. Then he tied string in
the hole and started the turtle Through
the sewer pipe. Whenever the turtle
stopped pull on the string started 1t
clawing It's way forward again until
the pipe was clear.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
A Curious Case.

Heres a curious case"
'What's the matter?'
''Young woman of twenty-seven mar
rying an old man, past seventy"
"Nothing peculiar about that-the
old man is very rich, presume"
"That's the curious thing about it
he isn't; he's as poor as a church
mouse"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

Magnate-That fellow knows too
much about my affairs. had to give
him $1,000 to keep me out of Jail.
Wife-Oh, Henry, please stop spend
ing your money SO fOolishly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
The Real Difficulty.

"Don't you have lot of trouble
keeping down expenses"
"Not so much as have keeping up
the revenue. Boston Evening Tran
script.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

An Ohio girl who is unable to speak
above whisper has had 48 offers of
marriage.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
The County Fair.

'eHow'd you come out in the live
stock exhibit?'' s'Took first prize for
steam tractors"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

in
girl
dislike
in sui
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
DISTINGUISHED.

"What's his claim to distinctions"
"Him? He's the man who didn't
strike.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

The late husband catches the early
morning lecture.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

It's almost as hard for woman to
pick out a good husband as a good
cantalOupe.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

Honest-to-goodness facts are scarcer
than pullet fangs.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04
HEADACHE
Often Caused by
ACid-StonlaCll

Yes indeed, more often than you think
Because ACID-STOMACH, starting with in
digestion, heartburn belching. food-repeat-
ing, bloat and gas. if not checked, will even
tually affect every vital organ of the body.
Severe, binding, splitting headaches are,
therefore, OF frequent occurrence as q result
of this upset condition.
Take EATONIC. 1t quickly banishes acid
stomach with it's sour bloat, pain and gas.
It aids digestion-helps the stomach get
FULL strength from every mouthful of food
you eat. Millions of people miserable.
weak sick and ailing because OF ACID
STOMACH. Poisons, created by partly di-
gested food charged with acid, are absorbed
Into the blood and distributed throughout
the entire system. This often causes rheu-
matsm, biliousness, cirrhosis of the liver.
heart trouble, ulcers and even cancer OF
the stomach. 1t robs it's victims of their
health. undermines the strength OF the
most vigorous
If you want to get back your physical
and mental strength--be full Of vim and
vigor--enjoy life and be happy, you must
get rid of your acid-stomach.
In EATONIC you will ind the very help
you need and it's guaranteed. So get big
60c box from your druggist today. If 1t
fails to please you, return it and he Will
refund your money
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-12-04

strike.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
AT THE LAST.

The stream is calmest when it hears the tide, The flowers the sweetest at the even
 tide,
 And birds most musical at the close of day, And saints divinest when they pass away. Morning is lovely. but a hollow Lies folded close in Evenings robe And weary man must ever love her bes+ For Mornings call to toll. but Night to rest. She comes from Heaven, and on her wings doth bear A holy fragrance, like the breath of prayer; Footsteps of angeIs follow in her trace.
 To shut the weary eye of Day in peace. All things are hushed before her as she throws Ger earth and sky her marble of repose;
 There is a calm, q beauty and a power
 That Morning knows not in the evening hour. Until the Evening must we weep and toll,
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
L1tttt1z3otofrSHs 2 NotQ g79<SSi3x:
 ~ M ss@@zzft ss@@zzst z5SsS, iA}g
 Qo a DE2

I found a horseshoe on my way home from sEool yesEdday, being a hole horseshe exsept a little hunk broak off at one end, me thinking, G, good luck
 And I took 1t home to nale it up over my door, ony I couldent find a 1aIe so I used a pin, getting up on a chair anl hammering it in with the back of my hair brush, thinking. Now if I suddinly start in having good luck after this, III know the reason
 Witch dident have any speshi1 good luck the rest of the day, and this morning pop called me to get up 3 times without me realizing I was heering him, and the 4th time he called up, Benny, if dou don't hop up ont of that III come up there after you, and if I do you'll wish I hadent.
 Proberly meening he would give me a cupple of kracks, and laid there a vile longer keeping on starting to get up, and the fert thing I knew I was asleep agen, and the next thing 1 knew slEmbody was yelling, Owtch, confownd it to blazes, owtch, holey smoaks owtch.
 Being pop standing there holding one ankel on account of the horse shoe having fell down and hit it. me saying, It aint my fawlt, pop, it aint my faw1t, it must be on account of the hunk out of the end of it.
 What are you bHthering about, you confownded merderer?- sed pop.
 The little hunk out Of the end must of kepp it rum being lucky, sed.
 o, how intensely intristing, you lit tie assassin, how did you have 1t .fas- sened it up there, enyway? sed pop.
 With 8 pin, I sed.
 With Q pin, of all the bone hedded tricks I ever herd of, that's the bone heddedest, get up now out of that and go to skool and Tern a little sents, sed pop.
 And he gave me fearse kraclzs with his hand some place, me being lucky I was under the covers but wishing I was under more And ] quick got up and started to get dresse thinking some time 1 mite try a horse shoe without a hunk out of it, but not being sure.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
Copyright fsts
 by ti1s Mcclure hs~Eez9sr synd;eSas

Sweet, starry twilight round our sleeping clayi
 Author Unknown
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
lenz Hostess House

Nonsents, don't bleeve there was more than a few spoonfuls theres sed
 ma.
 few barrilsful, you meen. I never saw so hutch jam in sutch a short space of time in my life, sed pop. And ma cleaned it off of the chair and pop sat down and ate his suppir looking as if he was still thinking of Jam, and after suppir he got some more on his hand off of the setting room door mob, saying, This is the last straw, I'm go- ing to do sunthing about this, and I sed, Artie always gets thing on things.
 Artie be hanged, if I toutch another jam trap you'll martch strate up to bed, sed pop.
 Wich jest then he touched another one on the arm of his morris chair.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
SOLDIERS MAKE CObLENz AS GAY
 AS ARMY POST

Coblenz is taking on very much the air of a big American army post since our officers there have been permitted to send home for their wives, accord ing to Miss Ruth Woodsmau of Den yer, Colorado, who has just returned from Y. W. c. A. Hostess House work in France and Germany. 'The num- Der of women war workers in that area is very much decreased," says Miss Woodsmall, 'bpt the govern ment has asked that the Hostess House be kept open until the first of January at least, for the officers wives who are living in Coblenz and for the Y. W. c. A. girls stationed
 there.'
 The Hostess House at Coblenz was one of the most popular German ho- tels of that city before 1t was requi- sitioned by our government as billet for American women in Germany. It has living accomm odat1ons for forty five women, and has served meals to as many as 1, 500 people day. It had the distinction of having the only dfn- ing room on the Rhine which was open to officers anu enlisted men of the Army of Occupation at the same time, and as there were sometimes as many as 5000 men on leave in Cob- lenz at a time during the spring, it was decidedly busy. As a social cen ter. too, it made a reputation, for the best orchestra in Coblenz played there
 every evening. Between three and
 four hundred officers and men would come in during the evening, for cof-
 fee or chocolate, or just to enjoy the
 music.
 The Army of Occupation has shrunk
 from 250,o00 to 5000 r'~~ and Coblenz
 is no longer full of soldiers On leave.
 The billet is continuously occupied by
 women welfare workers, however, and
 so long as there are American troops
 ir Germany, it seems probable that
 there will be a demand for the Cob
 lenz Hostess House.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28

CAvverizement) Swimming lessins tawt in your own bath tub, with either warm or cold water and no danger. Rates, sents a lessin or < for 8 dime. See Artie Alixander. My cuzzin ArtTe was erround yes tidday, and there was half a glass of peetch jam on the dresser in the kit chin, and ma sed me. and Artie could finish it, saying it the 3rd time I asked her.
 Wich we did, the jam being sticky as enything but not too sticky, on ac- count of that being impossible, and Artie went home for suppir and I was reeding The Boy Scout in the Trent ches, up in the setting room wen I herd pop come home, opening the fru1t door and saving, For the love of mud Wats all this over the door nob? :? T never saw sutch a house in my life and I'm lucky I haven't.
 And he hung up his hat and pritty came in the dining room, sa yi1rg, Con- fownd it. heers some more of that blasted gloo on this door mob, wat the doose is it, enyway-Benny, do you know enything about this?
 Who, me? I sed, and pop sed. No, the boy down the street. Meaning yes, me, and I sed, Ma laft me and Artie finish a half of a glass of peeteh jam this aftirnoon, and maybe Artie got some of his on things.
 O, I see, maybe SArtie did, hell, very clever, very clever, sed pop. And he started to set down and stopped. say ing. This is the limit. this is too mrtch, it's all over the. sect of my chair-motfier wat on erth ever pig zessed you to go and give those 2 In- dians a buclit of jam?
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
THE GOTHAM VERSION

Say, paw" queried little Benja- min Baxter, where is-the bridge of sighs?"
 'tIt connects New York and Brook ly, my son." replied Baxter, ST.
 'sBut. why is it called the bridge Of sighs?" asked BeniaLnin
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28

Flow Life's stern furrows, dig the weedy soil, Tread with sad feet our rough and stormy way, And bear the heat and burden of the day. Oh, when our sun is setting may we glide Like summer evening down the gold en tide: And leave behind us. as we -pxss away.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
By HdylUmd
By DWLC

Because" explained the old gen tleman, "a man lets out a sigh of anguish as he goes over to Brooklyn and a sigh of relief when he comes back"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28

Sissiety: A site 1emminade and cake party was held last Wensday nite at Miss Maud Jonsons house, the
 most popular game being the one to see who could draw the best pig with their eyes shut. MT. Sam Cross won, not because his pig looked the most like a pig, but because it Ia ked the leest like enything e1ts
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
WILLING TO LISTEN

Nobody" remarked the mora1izer, "admires a knocker.'
 And yet" rejoined the demorali- ger, 'he can always get an audi
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28
Pome by Skinny Martin.

Wats the Use of Worrying? I had awfiIl fever, My temperature was POS, But I keep rite on playing hop skotch Because otherwise I felt grate.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28

Spoarts: Last Satdday morning the fellows was going to meet in frunt of Benny Pottses house at 6 o'clock and take a mile wawk be- fore brekfist jest for the exercize, but the wawk was called off on account of too few of them being there, Per- sey Weever being the ony one. It is thawt by merry to of been a put up job to get Persey up erly.
 1ntristing Packs About Intristing People: Ever sints Puds Sinlzins saw a band martching past in frunt of some soldiers last week he has bin wishing he was taking trombone les sins insted of piano lessins.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-10-28

THE PARK AVE. NEWS Weather: Fellows getting more used to skool, but not fond of it.
The sun., 1919-11-05
EXPLAINS DECLINE
OF POUND STERLING
End of War Loans and Credits
Responsible, Says
Expert.

MELBOURNE. Oct. s1.-Cessation Of
war loans by the United States to Great
Britain, and the termination Of sundry
banking credits and agreements between
the two countries. are given as the
causes Of the unusual decline in the New
York quotation Of the pound sterling In
a statement issued hero by A. w. Fer
rim, American Trade Commissioner In
Australia.
"As Is we'll known" reads the state
ment In part. 'the United States Gov
ernment shortly after It's entry began
making large advances both to Great
Britain and other allied belhgerents. and
continued them throughout the conflict.
The amount SO loaned was about
sufficient to Offset the trade balance In
favor of the United States curing tina
last three years OF the war. or In other
words the United States furnished the
funds with which to pay for the Sur
plus Of its exports over imports. which
was required by the necessities of the
other countries.
with the close of the war and the
subsequent adjustments these advances
naturally ceased to be asked or allowed;
and the military and commercial require
ments Of the situation no longer calling
for such action the British Government
during the past spring announced that
1t would discontinue It's purchases and
sales of exchange at the fixed price on
the New York market.
"Sundry banking credits and agree
ments were then outstanding (as they are
at all times) and they sufficed to pre-
vent an Immediate fall of exchange to
any extremely low figures; but these
credits are rapidly running out or have
already expired. and the result Is that
exchange quotation has now become a
matter Of bargain and sale. The low
quotation is due to the continued
need of Great Britain and Of the coun-
tries which depend upon sterling remit
tances for large excess shipments from
America"