The sun., 1919-10-26
self up and looks daggers a, Fros..
iclr ~ ItQer.

self up and looks daggers at Froa..
ick.) N'euer'
Frederick with tignity)-r bor.,
an idea who you're referrinp 70 went
William-Oh, my dear old bov A..
put any frills on. Victoria's a roors u!
woman, and she knows what tho hed
o: the village are when they %, aug "
A very nice little girl, indeed W., N
tcria. If I hadn't been a marr,aa VIC
I'd have had shot at cutting Frods,n sn
out. ieuuie
Victoria Ucily)--He alwavs ,o,a
he'd never looked at a woman ~ ue ue
life. III hh
William-You shouldn't encor,.
the young to lie. Talk of lurid naa.'
Mrs. Shuttleworth, veil your face
Frederick-My poor Bill, your rns,,
ory. When you recovered It. I'm Aft,
you remembered all sorts Of thin.
that had never happened.
William (Going on)-I don't r,,..
you. Make hay while the sun sb,na"
Mrs. s. with determination
some one doesn't do something =.
once I shall do 1t myself
William Gin a whisper to vic,o,,.
pointing to Mrs. ShuttleworthlN
raids? Cat that moment a bahv,s nar
Is heard outside) wan
Victoria with agitation)-wiu,s
William-Hulloa, what's thato ,.
that the Kid? tHe goes swiftly to ,bs
door and opens it. The crying is bssrs
more loudly Why it's coming Nm
stairs. You told me the kid was ~
the nursery. addressing the nurssl
Bring him along and let me bavo
look at him. "a nurse in a neat vror
uniform comes in with baby in bor
arms).
Victoria (desperately)-Freddie do
something, even If It's only something
stupid.
Frederick-The only thing that m.
ours to me is to stand on my head
William-Hulloa, hulloa, hulloa,
Frederick-That's not the wav N
talk to baby, you owl.
William-Not such baby az all
that. Can he speak yet, nurse?
Nurse-Oh no, sir, not yet.
William-Rather backward, isn't hep
Not what I should have expected IN
a son of mine. (The nurse gives hin,
a look Of surprise and then with a Look
at Victoria assumes an appearance q,
extreme primness).
Nurse-1 never knew baby could
talk as young as that, sir.
William-Upon my soul. there's mt
much of him. Looks to me rather a
dud. I think we've been done, Vic.
toria.
Nurse (indignantly)-Oh, I don't
think you ought to say that. sir He's
a very fine boy. He weighs more than
a good many do when they're SIX
months.
William-What's that? How old Is
he?
Nurse-Four months last Tuesday
sir.
William-You've been busy in my
absence, Victoria.
Victoria-Freddie. for goodness sake
speak. Don't stand there like stuffed
tomato!
Mrs. S.-Leave the room, Mamie
CThe nurse, pursing her lips, intrigued
eiiu PVa bithCd' SOtS OUT.
Frederick (Trying to take it lightly
The fact is you've made rather an
absurd mistake. You've been awav so
long that of course there's a good deal
you don't know.
William-Im a simple creature.
Frederick-Well, to cut a long story
William-What story?
Frederick--I wish you wouldn't in
terrupt me. I'm telling you as quick
ly as I can. To cut a long story
short, the infant that's Just gone, out
OF the room is not your son.
William-I had a sort Of suspicion
he wasn't. tell you that frankly.
Victoria-Oh, the fool. The blither-
ing nincompoop!
William-Well. who the deuce is nj,
father?
Frederick-In point OF fact, am.
William-Youl You don't mean to
say you're married!
Frederick-Lots Of people are. In
fact marriage has been quite the thing
during the war.
"AhalH- why on edrtn OlQnt you
tell me?
Frederick-Hang It all. man, you've
been dead for the last three years
How could I?
William (Seizing his hand)-Well
I'm jolly glad to hear 1t, old chap
knew you'd be caught, one OF these
days. You were a willy old bird, but
ah, we'll, We all come to It. My very
best congratulations.
Frederick-That's awfully good Of
you. I'm-er-1'm staying here. you
know.
William-Are you? That's FIRST rate
Is your wife here too?
Frederick-It's rather difficult to ex-
plain.
William-Don't tell me she's only
got one eye.
Frederick-Can't you guess why I'm
staying here?
William-No. (He looks around the
room and his eyes fall on Mrs. 81
You don't mean to say you've married
Victoria's mother!
Vaudeville and Burlesque.