davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
JUST WHAT DID SHE MEAN7
Young Teachers Reply Might Have
Been Merely Statement OF
Plain Fact, or

The young primary teacher had Deen
continually annoyed by Bobby's mother
ever since he had entered school.
Nothing suited her. At first it was the
hours, then the arrangement OF BOD
by's seat, and finally, after score OF
complaints about everything imagln-
able, she began to come to school to
criticize the teachers methods ana
books used. "Now, these readers are
not nearly so interesting as the ones
we used to USE" she said. Couldn't
you get some of those old books and
use them to supplement these?" she
asked.
'T don't know whether l could flnd
any," hesitated the little teacher.
But you will find the stories SO
much more interesting that you will be
paid for your effort in hunting them, "
insisted the woman "HOw did love
those stories There was one about
a little red hen. 1t"
81 don't believe that would interest
nv children now" interrupted the
Young teacher. "You see, the hen
grew indianapolis News.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
She Calls This Funny!

MY funniest experience was last
year, about this time. We were trav-
cling by auto through the Topango
pass in California. We had an expert
enced driver. and the roads were IKE
boulevards all through the mountains.
We were going about eighteen miles
per, when suddenly, for no apparent
reason, we swerved from the road
about four feet, and almost went into
canyon.
We. all wondered why it happened
and the driver could not account for
II himself.
When we got to town In about nf-
teen minutes we learned there had
been an earthquake. People were
thrown off their chairs, windows
broken, and other damage done. Then
we knew what hit us.--Chicago Trib-
une.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
Thousands Have Kidney
Trouble and Never
Suspect 1t
Applicants for Insurance Often
Rejected.

Judging from reports from druggists
who are constantly in direct touch with
the public, there is one preparation that
has been very successful in overcoming
these conditions. The mild and healing
influence of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp. Root IS
soon realized. 1t stands the highest Tor
its remarkable record of success.
An. examining physician for one OF the
prominent Life Insurance Companies, IN
an interview of the subject, made the as
tonishing statement that one reason why
80 many applicants for insurance are re-
iected is because kidney trouble is so
common to the American people, and the
large majority Of those whose applica.-
tions are declined do not even suspect
that they have the disease. It is on sale
at all drug stores in bottles of two Sizes
medium and large. 49,.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to DR..
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for a
sample bottle When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
Lawful occasion.

"My darling" said a fond mother
who believed in appealing to children's
tender feelings instead of Furnishing
them, eff you are so naughty you. VIII
grieve mamma so that she will get Ill
and have to lie in bed in dark ROOM
and take nasty medicine. and then she
may die and have to be taken away out
to the cemetery and be buried, ana
you"
The child had become more solemn
but an angelic smile overspread MS
face at his mothers last words anu
throwing his arms about her neck ne
exclaimed:
"Oh, mamma, and may l sitspesiae
the CONDEMNATION Tit-Bits.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
Easy Money.

A discharged soldier with his young
wife recently went on shopping tour
in washington. Ex-sOldier, very tired
and not having much interest in walk
ing the aisles of a department store,
sat himself down in the lobby and
promised his wife to remain there I'M
til her return. Soon he was fast asleep.
In reclining position, with his hat In
his hand, he was enjoying a quiet nap
When his wife returned. she was shock
ingly surprised to see a dollar and
half i'm her husbands hat.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
solvino the Problem.

A new boy moved into the neighbor-
hood, and Gordon's mother heard oau
reports about him. "Now, Gordon,
she warned. 81 don't want you to go
over into the next yard and play with
that little boy. hear he's very
naughty" A short time later she
heard Gordon calling over the wall:
"Hey. there, kid My mother says l
amt to go in your yard cause you 70
naughty, but you kin come over into
our yard. / amt naughty"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
500 Reward. 500

Catarrh is q local disease greatly inau.
therefore requires constitutional treat
ment. HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE
s taken Internally and acts through the
Blood on the Mucous Surfaces Of the Syss
DESTROYS the foundation Of the disease.
gives the patient strength by improving
The general health and assists nature N
ioing its work. $4,000 for any case OF
catarrh that HALLS CATARktk7
MEDICINE fails to cure.
Druggists 75c. Testimonials free.
3. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
InnoasIhIe rask.

"No man can serve two masters"
II should like TO try 1t once. IL
ought to be easy compared to my job.
I'm trying to please 600 masters"
"Six hundred How do you make
that out?"
"Pm chairman Of the house commit
tee Of our club
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
The crocer's Plight.

"rm in terrible predicament," SAID
the grocer.
"What's the matter?" asked the Gus
toner.
81 don't know what to do. If ] sell
Won my goods at cost in a few weeks
ri be in the bankruptcy court, and II
I charge you a price which will give
ME profit, in few weeksk I'll be IN
iail,"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
$ P,ain ENOUGH.

In the zoology class at primary
school, says the Forecast, the boys ahd
girls had just been studying the rhi-
noceros.
Sand what is this?" asked the teach
err. turning to picture of glrane'
"WelI, Johnny, tell u.s." she said' IN an
swer TO an eagerly raised hand.
"It,s a Unicorn. You can tell 1t by
it's periscope"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
snaIles IN British Isles.

There is a legend that snakes were
driven out of Ireland by Saint Patrick,
the patron saint c. that country. The
popular saying that there are no
snakes in Ireland Is true. There are
none in Scotland and only two species
in England.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
FREE SAMPLES

The quick relief vacher-Balm gives
for Catarrh, Nervous Headache, and
many pains, is so marvellous that II
pays us to give away FREE Sam
pies, where 1t is unknown. Write for
a Free Sample and agents prices, while
this offer lasts. E. w. Vacher, Inc
New Orleans, LADY.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
Exonerated.

"Whatever did you see In me to In
duce you to marry me?" she asked
Nothing" he replied.
"What?" she cried Indignantly.
ooh, it wasn't your fault, my dear.
I evidently had visions and l ought TO
have consulted an oculist at the time"
Boston Transcript.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
NOT MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT
Reporter Naturally Found 1t Haro ~
Make a Very Long Story OUT
of Happening.

The city editor of an Ohio paper
said to new reporter:
"There's to be a meeting of the trus-
tees at the public library building TINS
evening at eight o'clock. You cover It.
Make story Of about 400 words"
The cub went away on his assign
ment, and the chief of the local de-
partment turned again 20 his desk,
made entry in the assignment book
that lay before him, and dismissed the
matter from his mind. About eleven
o'clock, however, he suddenly called
out:
.Where's Tompkins?"
Here, sir" said the new reporter,
coming forward.
81 sent you to board meeting at
the public library. Where's your
storyT'
sit isn't quite finished yet. You told
me to make 400 words Of it, and I've
got only a little over 300 so far"
"What. did they do?"
'sThey met, called the roll and al
iourned until next Friday evening.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
Melodicus Expression.

.AIusic speaks al: languages.
and I suppose you would say
jazz bands shutters
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

Indigestion produces disagreeabIe as
.or1efirnes alarming symptoms wright {
Indisr Vegetable Pills stimulate the elges-
tive processes 10 function naturally. A1f'
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

If we all got everything we prayed
for we'd all have an earth Of our own.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

No man will ever reach heaven with
his face toward the pit.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

Fortunate is the girl who loses her
temper and never finds it again.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

Only the small man fails TO see the
great qualities in his neighbors.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

It's just as hard to find a satisfied
person as Il IS to End a white crow.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

The man with swelled head usual
ly wears small hat.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

A good disposition Is more important
10 O girl than a Grecian nose.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

To Suit Her Husband.
Mrs. Blank-How had better have
my new dress made?
BIank-Small in the bill.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03
The Next Thing.

81 suppose it will come to that
next"
"What?"
"That we'll have to buy beefsteaE
on the installment PLAN"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

"Bayer Tablets of Aspirin" to be
genuine must be marked with the
safety "Bayer Cross" Always buy an
unbroken Bayer package which con-
tains proper directions to safely re-
lieve Headache, Toothache, Earache,
Neuralgia, Colds and pain. Handy tin
boxes of II tablets cost but few
cents at drug stores-larger packages
also. Aspirin is the trade mark OF
Bayer Manufacture of Monoacetic-
acidester of Salicylicacid.-Adv.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

Even lawyer objects to being cross
questioned by his wife.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1919-10-03

The wages of sin are the same
through the ages.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26

States in Vienna reported that the
food administration had one or two
agents in Budapest and it was stated
that there might be other Americans
there. These advices said there was
no ill-feeling toward Americans or
British in Budapest but a strong
feeling OF hostility was being mani
tested against the French. This. it
is believed here, is due to the occu-
patton by French troops of the neu-
trail zones between Czecho-S akia
and Hungary and Roumania and
Hungary. 1t is believed here that
probably the French members of
the inter-allied mission in Buda-
pest have been interned. as has been
reported in news dispatches from
Vienna, but doubt was expressed as
TO the inclusion OF Americans or
British in the internment order.
1t is said by officials that II the
Hungarians actually have declared
war upon the Entente powers. as
was threatened. 1t would be a natural
move for them to attempt to reach
the Adriatic and recover a portion
of the Austrian navy now in the
hands of the Jugo Slavs.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Stars and Stripes With
Wilson Picture at Omsk

Omsk. Siberia. March 24.-An
American flag floating above the
sidewalk and a picture of President
Wilson in window beside the flag
is one OF the first sights the Ameri-
can sees as, after n long. tedious
and even dangerous trip from Vladi-
vostok. he is driven at lightning
speed in n tiny sleigh or sled down
the principal street of Onsk.
The correspondent found that the
flag hung over the door of the
American Committee on Public In
formation. The Omsk branch of
this organization was founded and
is conducted by Robert f. Winters,
of Washington. d. c. Like the cor
respondent of The Associated Press
he labors by candlelight. When a
visitor comes, the existing courtesy
is to light n second candle. Gig
arets and cigars are lighted by
candles and not by matches for
matches are very expensive and are
becoming scarce. Life in Omsk
teaches respect for the little COM
fort of life one has previously dis
dained.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26

to do the same. If these essential
conditions of the Wilson program
should be violated or neglected, and
especially if conditions were imposeo
which went beyond the program,
the German delegates would unfor-
tunately find themselves in posi-
ton of, say, non possumus."
Bcrnstorff Advocates PIcbcscitc
Count Won Bernstorfr advocate Il
plebescite for AlsaC Lorraine and
German-Austria.
"Germany's attitude on indemni-
ties" he continued. lis fixed by her
acceptance of the note of Novembe
3. 1918. whereby reparation is ac-
corded for all damage done to the
civil population of France and Bel
GUM by German aggression. This
note admits of the payments of no
other indemnities.
Asked what the consequences
would be of the failure to sign n
peace. Count Won Bcrnstorff replied.
Says BolshcyiSm Would Gain
Il am no prophet, but Bolshevism
would gain immensely. The liberal
world. which has seen salvation for
humanity in President Wilson's s
principles. would be terribly disap-
pointed IL peace were not made.
Even the higher classes woud be
driven to despair. Remember that
since the Middle Ages no idea has
aroused the worlds enthusiasm like
a League of Nations based on peace
and justice. and who will dare to
cause the idea to miscarry at the
first test? hope that a league of all
the nations of the world will make
common cause against the Specter of
Bolshevism and triumph over it,"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Dope Peddlers Given
Hearing in Police Court

In police court this afternoon.
hearings are being given the four al
legged heads of the dope ring" that
has been responsible for the great
amount of illict sale of morphine,
heroin and other drugs in this city
within the past several months, to-
eether with the eleven accompliceS
and addicts taken into custody by the
police in their spectacular raid on
Monday night.
William bradshaw, George "Tish"
Casey and Mr.. and MIS-. Willis Fuller,
all colored. are alleged to be the
heads of the notorious ring" that
has been paying fines of all persons
arrested on dope" charges in this
city. Pearl Berth and Annie Frank
lin. also colored, are held as the re-
tailers of the goods on the city
streets to the addicts.
The other nine persons under ar
rest who are being given hearings
this afternoon are Robert Anderson,
Frank Robinson, George +. Gore.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
ENTIRE EGYPT
NOW IN REVOLT
Churchill Tells Commons In
surrection Has Spread
Over the Country

London. March 26.-Defending the
military service bill in the House of
Commons yesterday, Winston Spen-
Ger Churchill, Secretary For War.
declared that the whole of Egypt
was in n virtual state of insurrec-
ton. The position was so danger
Gus, he added, that the government
had to appeal to men OH the point
of rehabilitation TO return and
save their comrades from being
murdered.
This declaration by the War Sec
retary was brought about by the
remarks OF Sir Donald MaCLean.
who had said that Great Britain was
grossly overinsured with respect to
the strength of the army. Mr..
Churchill asked if he followed what
was taking place in almost every
country at the present time. aad, If
so, how could he say that there was
overinsurance in keeping 100000
men for every purpose, including
ten divisions on the Rhine and four
divisions in the home country, less
than the number kept here in the
peaceful days before the war.
Only three days ago, continued the
Secretary a situation developed in
Egypt which was of very far-reach-
in gdanger and which made it nee
essary TO appeal to the men who
were collected at various ports for
emobilization to go back and help
their comrades and save them from
being murdered. The whole of
Egypt was virtually in a state of
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
FATHER JOHNS MEDICINE IS A
TONIC OF GREAT FOOD VALUE
Builds New Flesh and Strength
Because of Real Nourishment It
Contains.

real tonic food like Father Johns Medicine
contains within itself the food properties and
bodybuilding nourishment which give re-
newed strength and flesh. Too many So
called 'tonics" merely stimulants OF appe-
tite and depend for their upbuilding effect
upon the other food which the patient may
happen to eat.
Expert chemical tests have proven that
Father Johns Medicine is abounding in rich
nourishment. a teaspoonful Of Father John S
Medicine is proven by these tests to contain
six times more nourishment than the same
quantity Of pure milk seven and one-half
times more than the same quantity of oysters
and two and one-half times more nourishment
than beefsteak.
DO not allow yourself to become weak thin
and rundown, because when you are in this
condition You are an easy victim to many
different disease germs
Because Father Johns Medicine is Euaran-
teed free from alcohol or dangerous drugs in
any form, il is the safe medicine for YOU to
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Service Flag Drapes
Casket of Local Nurse

Impressive funeral services for
Miss Mary F. Holmes, reconstruc-
ton aid in the United States hospital
at Fort Smelling. St. Paul, Mimi.
who died there a few days ago of
pneumonia. were held at the home
of her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Harry
l.. Holmes, at PaXtang yesterday
The Rev. Harry b. King. pastor of
the Paxton Presbyterian Church, of
which she was a member, officiated
and burial was made in the East
Harrisburg cemetery.
Miss Holmes was the first local
nurse to die in the service, and was
tittingly attired in her uniform of
bluegrey and white, with little cap
and r. a. service pin. A service
flag with one star was draped over
the casket, borne by Rishel Goho,
Matthew r. Rutherford, Edward B.
Elder, Francis Rutherford, Earl
kunkel and Samuel B. Rutherford.
With the death OF Miss Holmes,
the service flag of twenty eight
stars in old Paxton Church now
bears four gold stars.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Despised Foods
Again Favored
Correcting Stomach Faults
With Stuart's Dyspepsia Tab
lets Has Revived the
Doughnut, Pie and 9th
er Good Homemade
A Americ an Dishes

The shortage OF help has taken
thousands of women back TO their
own kitchens to do their own cook
ing. And how natural they should re-
Vive the cookie. doughnut, pie and
other distinctly American dishes. But
the recipes have been revised; flour
is coarser and different: less wheat
and more of other kinds, and a lot of
indigestion was complained of.
II is gratifying to know you can
safely eat any kind OF -four food
without consequent distress. Simply
take a Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablet at
ter meals. Not only does 1t aid di-
gesuon. but 1t arouses the stomach TO
secrete the juices necessary to re-
lieve sourncss. heartburn, gas. the
sense of stuffiness and the drowsiness
that 80 often follow the good things
you eat.
Try these tablets and you Will then
realize what influence they have. NOT
only to assist digestion, but as CON
triouting in a remarkable degree 10
the sense of comfort and weli-beinr
Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets are sold
in all drug stories at 90 cents a box
and throughout the United States and
Canada. 'N
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
HENRY +. MILLER

Funeral services for Henry T.
Miller. who died Monday at his
home, 20 North Thirteenth street
will be held tomorrow afternoon at
2.30 o'clock, the Rev. William NJ.
Moses, pastor of st. 2aurs Metho-
dist Church, officiating. Burial
will be made in the East Harrisburg
cemetery. Mr.. Miller was n mem
ber of st. Paurs Church for more
than forty-fve years and was active
ard prominent in its work for many
y-aIs. He was the son of the late
Daniel Miller, a pioneer, and was
horn in New York county. He was
employed for nearly fifty years as a
miller for the John lIoffer Milling
Company and was associated with
Eig son, James y. Miller, Ill the
grocery business here after retiring
from his trade.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
StateD Department Looks Into
the New Mexican Oil Order
By Associated Press

Washington, March 26.-Officials
OF the State Department have be-
gun a study of the order of the De-
partment OF Industry at Mexico
City threatening to punish foreign
companies and individuals for drill
ing wells or doing other petroleum
development work without permis-
sion OF the Federal government
The order. which was made public
by the State Department, reopens
the Mexican oil question, which
was believed to have been left to the
Mexican courts and the extra ses-
sion of the Mexican Congress to de-
eide.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26


After settling the reparation ques-
ton, the premiers and the President
will consider the remaining main
obstance-the Franco-German from
tier along the Rhine. With these
questions determined, the American
delegation believes IA prompt con-
clusion of the peace treaty can be
accomplished.
Conclusion CT the treaty by the
end of the present week is doubted,
drafting work after the main ques-
tions are settled in principle. The
drafters are steadily at work while
the super-council is in session and
each step of progress is followed inn
mediately by the completion of the
articles of the treaty.
The same process is being carried
on with the draft of the covenant of
the League of Nations, which in ad-
dition to being amended. will be re-
written so as to combine clearness
with the dignity of notable state
documents.
Germany ClcavcS to Wilson
Germany is determined to stick
close to the Wilson program in
making peace with the allies, Count
Won Bernstorff former German am
bassador to the United States, de-
clared in an interview last night
given the Berlin correspondent of the
Temps, which that newspaper prints
to-day.
The armistice of November H."
said Count Won Bernstorff, was
signed when all the powers inter
ested had accepted the program of
peace proposed by President Wilson.
Germany is determined to keep to
this agreement, which history will
regard. in Il way as the conclusion
of a preliminary peace.
she herself is ready to submit to
the conditions arising from II and
she expects all the interested powers
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Pennsy Reflects Three
of Its Old Directors
BIZ Associated Press

Philadelphia, March &c. - The
Pennsylvania Railroad Company
held its annual election here and re-
elected George Wood, c. Stuart Pat
terson and Clement L. Newbold as
directors to serve for the term of
four years. The resolution approving
of the increase of the company's in
debtedness to the extent of s75.-
900, 900, upon which. at the stock
holders annual meeting. a stock vote
was ordered to be taken at the same
time, was adopted.