Trench and camp. ([Admiral, Md.) 1917-1919, 1919-03-20
COLUMN RIGHT!

COLUMN RIGHT! AZ
BY ROBERT ID. GOODWIN. ~
How dry Is a bone?
If you haven't seen a copy of Henry
Ford's paper you haven't missed amy@
thing.
The first step toward civilization
the bolsheviki could make would be
to get hair cut and shave.
Since the announcement that
Doug Fairbanks is single . lot Of
pat.
Charlie. the one with the million
dollar feet. IL going to take his wife
little local color for that married life
stun?
In waiting twenty years for the ID.
s. G.. that officer displayed enough
patience to be awarded q medal for
the championship in human enaur-
ance.
Have you ever stopped to figure out
how many miles bar Of soap travels
after It gets into the hands Of .
soldier?
Inere may not be anything new
under the sun, but-oh, boy, the same
can't be said of that old moon.
In stepping from Washington e.
the office of the moving picture trusts,
McAdoo disclosed the Invisible bridge
that weds big business with small
politics.
The day Congress adjourned gas
dropped cents.
Canada has a $40 bachelor tax.
Needless to say they are not worried
about any peace conferences.
"Marse Henry" Watterson. IL s.Lools.
ing Backward in a popular weekly.
II his hind" sight is as good as his
fore" sight 1t ought to be q good
story.
did you visit the Capitol whilo in
Washington asked an inquisitivo
maid Of q friend.
"Yes, we had lunch at several Of
them" was her reply.
Wonder what will become of the
Combination bar-grocery.
Automatic corckscrews.
Pink nose gents.
$4,000 stomachs.
Kelley cure.
Lemon peel.
II you haven't trouble enough try
reading the patent medicine ads.
Upon a billboard after recent rain
we observed the following: Your
Nose Knows" Fools Spagetti," "Ag
Strong as the Rock Of Gibralter."
Just about the time Home, Sweet
Home" Is played you feel like shout
ing. I'VE Won't Go Home Until Morn
ing" Right?
White Wing-Come on in, Bill, lets
have a strawberry soda.
Coal HEAVIER Bill-Thanks, old boy
I'll take chocolate, it matches my
mustache better.
Since Barleycorn Is on the wane
And prohibition is no joke;
I'd like some one to tell me quick,
Does William Jennings Bryan
smoke?
No, Chauncey. taps" has naught IA
do with bung starter.
The latest in excuses for A. w. @.
LIS are the follow the green a1l0
black lines" in the Times square
Grand Central shuttle.
And the new daddy sent home 6 copy
of infantry drill regulations.
clothes might make the single man
they usually break the married
ones.
Hush! little sixty dollar.
Don't you cry:
You represent the "cIvv!ess
That I'm going to buy.
Famous come -backs--Bad checks.
The saddest words,
To you or me;
Are simply these,
&C. 0. D."
Nobody ever heard OF soldier Ioa@
ing an umbrella.
Since the war is over we can 81
back to the gentlcr pastime OF swnts
ting the hy.
It is rumored that a resident %
D. c., was seen recentlY
Glove.
And Carrie will not be among tho
nations present at the peace table
Our heart leaped with JOY. "Bufkan
2 cents pound" said tho adYerrlsA6
nent. but the date line said August.
I916.
Irwin Cobb says he wishes to ahoiS
Oh trousers. IL you do. l-y. yc.s'll turn
many pants into gasps-.yoarx certF
"a awxui lot OF territory. ana 3lsSf
hinls what "Padulayv would HaV