The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-08-21

T.. EAHIO8u 2QDllHibtl0 SAOH IG0O0 HUl
IF more pants, please notify this column
D. 1t may have all Of ours, and 3-year-
le old straw hat thrown in for good mea-
l. sure, for $3.50.
v The treasury department has is
Z sued a thrilling novel revealing the
y wonders Of saving q dollar. In 100
years, we are told, this dollar you
put away each week will grow to $685.
z 620,S9. The first hundred years, tho,
are always the hardest.
q Q q
!, "O'Shea," said the captain stern
ly, II saw you running from a boche
this morning as If the devil was af-
r ter you: you had thrown away your
rifle and" "Yis, sor, Oh know it
sor, but ye see OF had just slipped
live handgrenade in his pocket and
II see,' said the captain.
z .
The slight relaxation of tie dry
bill will not cheer the professional
hister to any great extent. He will
never be happy unless he can get
stewed in the presence Of bartender !
The homemade souse will not appeal |
to him, because it is almost cinch
his wife won't let him sing.
The returned doughboy slipped into
the chair and announced he wanted a
haircut. How would you like il cut,
sir p the barber asked. The soldier,
who was baldish, answered gruffly:
"Line up the hairs and number off to
the right. Odd numbers each want a
half inch. Dress smartly with bay :
rum and brilliantine. Then dismiss"
He was just out Of High school, and
she out Of High school also. "So,@I J:
he said, beginning the conversation,
"You are from Indiana" "You're :
mighty right" she answered, "Hoos- .
Ter girl" He suffered and stammer- s
ed. "Why-er-really-" he said, s
that is, don't know mean l =
haven declued yet, VINO.
Z q
Walter JONES'" said the teacher
'ternly, you are not attending to the n
essen. Did you hear Jessie Smiths /,
description of the American product, S,
lominy?" "Yes'm," replied the small O.
10Y glibly. "All right, then. Give W
ne sentence in which you bring in is
he word correctly With the cour- &c
ge of despair, Walter replied: "Hom- y
ny marbles have your" 9,
q q Q ~
A large draft of negroes came into y.
ne of the replacement camps in this
Duntry. The exasperated personnel
taff was having its troubles, and one
the men, whose duty it was to find
ut the mems home addresses. asked: 10y
Where did you come FROM" "Oh," hu '
as the reply, "Ah just got offn the Ind
ain out hyer." Damn it all, knew de.
,u just came in, but where from?" oil
Does y'all mean where is All was be-
ire All came hyer?" Eyes, that's
hat | mean," "Oh, An was in jail"
The harassed house hunter groaned
oud. whats the matter, my
iend?" asked sympathetic old gen.
sman. ~ was just thinking how ex-
ting used to be when was looking
ound for a place to live in. l de-
anded an extra large living room,
,sets by the dozen, not less than
ur bedrooms, sleeping porch or
%, roomy pantry, .baths upstairs
d down, wide veranda and north
n exposure. And now all want is
four walls and roof"
q 9 q
One Of the American army officers
IS staying overnight in a French
tel, in which a big American negro
IS employed The negro soon made
ends with the American, and in
-med him that he was also an Off
:, an admiral. "An admiral" asked
, Yankee. "And how is that? If
a are an officer on land why don't
] be a captain or lieutenant or some
ID Of land officer?"- The Negroes
e spread into broad grin and he
lied: mo, rs an admiral. has
'rge OBJ all de vessels on de third
DR."
4 q
lie has achieved success who has liv-
we'll, laughed often and loved much;
D has gained the respect of intelli-
It men and the love Of little child
/; who has filled his niche and &C
,plished his task; who has left the
Id better than he found it, whether
an improved poppy, perfect poem,
rescued soul; who has never
sed appreciation of earth's beauty
failed to express it; who has al
70 looked for the best in others and
Al L. L. L. u. u