The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-07-10

| When see a young fellow out ii
a crowd with his girl for the frs
time do laugh at him? No, indeedy
| can't forget my own experience.
when l first took my girl to picnic
nor can l forget how l longed for ;
friendly glance or (some place to pu
my feet and. hands,. l felt that ev.
erybody was looking at me. Tht
sweat streamed from my face ane
cold chills chased up and down where
my back bone was supposed to be
and how ] wanted somebody te
either pray for me or take me
home. No, can't forget and so, in
stead of making him more miserable
(if that were possib1e) l forget to
stare at 'em and just let 'em wander
on immersed in the thought that
there is nothin' half so sweet in life
as loves young dream, II. So,
yes-And nothin half SO painful.
John the Baptist Il refer to the
John of Biblical lore) contended that
locusts were good to eat. We won't
dispute him as no one (now livin')
was present to give him an argument
anyway, it is said he ate EN-.
Anyone who feels inclined to prove
(or disproye) Johns statement will
probably have an opportunity when
the lociists arrive. Ne? Not on yer
life. l amt no Baptist and locusts
might not agree with me.
|. A couple of young married folks
were the proud possessors OF an in
FAINT and were very proud OF it. l
happened to meet 'em one day while
they were givin' the heir an outing.
They were very anxious to know
what l thought of it Il mean the in
fant) as ] am supposed to be au tat
on such matters. After lookin' the
young hopeful over carefully told
EN- that aside from the fact that it
was the very image of its Pa, I didn't
see anything else the matter with it.
(P. S.-They. didn't name it for me.)
| Buy now-But buy wisely.-Adv.
| thought when read this how time
ly it is, and by golly, that's just what
multitude of folks are dom. They
are actin wisely because they know
there's going to be long dry spell
and they're buyin' now because after
July Ist it will be too late.
| May sell army meat to the Public.
Headline. No, thanks. pass. II
the army couldn't eat it, l refuse to
tackle it.
Meat Prices Dropping.-Headline.
Says to myself, says I, They must
be droppin' on velvet carpet 6
inches thick) from the noise they
amt maxim.
Pay as you go and when you find
you can't pay-don't go. Pretty good
plan, Ell? I'll say it is.
Its wise man who knows HIM
self fool-yessir. | opine that's
why there are. so blamed few wise
men.
| | said to preacher one time, you
don't give a great deal of thought to
your sermons, do your" ooh, yes,
indeed" said he, Il do. Why do you
make such statement "Oh," says
l, 1T seems to me that if you spent
much thought on your sermons you
probably wouldn't be very keen to
deliver en-
What the Mosquito Does
Headline. didn't read the article
written possibly by some maverick
who knows not whereof he writes.
know what the muskeeter is capable
of dom. | haven't space to tell you.
But if anybody wants to know, come
and go with me and I'll give you a
demonstration of what he can do.
luther mornin' as ! was workin'
i'll my truck patch (pullin' weeds) l
got to wonderin' why l hadn't been
a preacher or boot logger so that
could have lived by the sweat Of
some one else's brow, when fellow
mot a friend of mine) draped his
frame on my back fence and said Ito
me, of course) If you could have
three wishes granted you, what would
you wish for7' "Well," says /, as !
wiped the sweat out of my eyes, "one
wish would be plenty and it would
sound like this. wish | had q shot
gun loaded with meat skins or rock
salt and that there was no closed
season on varmints like you. Now"
says l, If you amt got anything to
do, 60 on away from here and do it :"
(P. She VENT
have just read of a man who
committed suicide because of gos-
sipers. The pity of it is that he didn't
| go out and shoot the Rossipers first.
/ hope there will be "a law enacted
permitting the shooting of these
birds Ut all seasons Of the year.
Il this Tennysea Jay Daft? was
asked. "Well. / can't say" l replied
(never haxip' met him). But /
know. some folks who latter readin'
some of his poetry have become
|hopelessly daffy.
Il seens jess Willard didn't fight