The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-11-13

Why don't those Mexican bandits
. abduct A. G. Townley or Victor Ber-
ger and make themselves more popu-
lar in this country7
q . q
"John", inquired the teacher, "can
you tell me a bird that is extinct ~
"Yessum," replied Billy; our canary
The cat extincted him."
Here is what q farmer said the
other day: IL marketed my hogs for
IL cents and paid 40 cents for some
pork meat. Where do get Oft"
hHere is theway this paragraphxxx
would look if The index weer hprint-
ed by the Ltarery Digests' photo
graphic EXPERIMENTATION plan;
| An Irishman signed two pledges to |
abstain from whiskey. III OF break
one Of thin pledges III have another
lpne to fall back on he explained
Some talk is almost as expensive as
porterhouse steak We know q young
gent who uttered two words that cost
him $25 each. The words were "Wocha
got7"
No other egotism equals that which
the Freshman class feels when the
teacher calls upon it to answer a ques-
ton that has stumped the Sophomore
class.
The package that President Wilson
handed out on the miners strike shows
that his mental carbureter is working,
whatever may be the matter with his
speedometer.
whats the matter now" demand
ed father as the sound Of trouble came
from the bathroom. willie dropped :
the towel in the water and he's dried
me weeter than | was BEFORE" yelled
little Jack
II would be just as fair for grocers 4
|
and butchers to make it impossible for :
the coal strikers to secure food as it
IS for the strikers to make it impos- Z
'ible for the shopkeepers to secure
fuel
Human nature, city and country, is
the same. The city
'eader smiles at the country CORES
in the old home town weekly
md the country reader haw haws
loud over the items in the society
olumn Of the city daily.
. 4 =
II New York city's $500 drug clerks
walk out and shut off the medicine
upply, the old town may have to get
own to medicinal diet of castor lie,
safetida, turpentine and catnip tea
little country treatment like that
night do it good.
He was trying to sell the farmer q
ar and sprung that old argument
hat car doesn't eat while it is in
he shed. To which the farmer said:
Yes, and horse doesn't eat when he
! working" And do you know,
hole lot of people never thought Of
nat.
A teacher was trying to impress
pom her pupils recently the fact that
istory repeats itself, and that many
rings which happen today are the
ounterpart Of similar things that
appened years and years ago. "Now,
i'll anyone tell me of anything new
Importance that has happened dur
x the last 20 years." inquired he
'acher. "Me," answered one Of the
lpils.
ANY good hunting round here!"
'ked the visitor Of the little farmer
d. Eyes, SIR" answered the boy.
You goes down that private road I'M
YOU comes to q sign in field wot
US. 'Trespassers will be prosecuted
ell, you go across the middle Of that
cid, and then you comes to raviue
it'll notice-board wot says. NO
inting allowed Yes?" well,
ats it'll"
Unobserved and unannouneed, THE
'esident of a church society entered
e composing room of a newspaper
st in time to hear these words issue
ON the mouth of the boss printer:
lily, go to the devil and tell him to
nish that murder he began this
orning. Then kill William J.
vans youngest grandchild, and
imp the Sweet Angel of Mercy into
e hell-box. Then make up that II
aughty Partisan Actress and lock