Omaha daily bee., 1919-10-19

arched and his face blanched at the
thought of when Greek meets
Greek What will follow should
be an interesting signal.
Theft BY Wholesale.
But the city as we'll as country
hotel men seem to have their grew
ances, too, even if some are imagin-
airy. An interesting dialogue took
place in the lobby on southeastern
Nebraska hotel owned by a party
we will refer to as Uncle Charlie.
Now this Uncle Charlie can wax
hot when he wishes. One morning
after going up against some OF his
own literal celluloid ham and eggs,
his indigestion bobbed up persist
entity as Banquo's ghost but not so
serenely. A maid in taking cen
sus of the tableware that morning
reported dozen or more knives,
forks and spoons as among the
missing-either prisoners, danger
ouslv wounded or dead!
This stirred Uncle Charlie into
frenzy and he delivered himself of
few forersics that almost made
the old shack tremble.
"'By heck! Numbered the said
uncle. 1 never saw SO many thieves
trav'lin' about tn kentry. Towel
thieves, spoon thieves. match-holder
thieves. and every other kind of
thief. III hev t chain TIL towels in
ever room or watch every guest as
he washes. 1t keeps me broke run
MIN t tn Smiths jewelry store fer
more spoons, knives an forks.
Damn 'em! I hope every last one
of 'em will lose their arms before
they return here. Pm buyin' cleo
trio light globes by TIL gross; an
last week three bottles of catsup.
sev'ral bottles of Worcestershire
sauce an eight napkins disappeared
First thing know they'll be strip
PIN tn wallpaper from TIL rooms.
TIL first thing | know TIL travelin'
men will be usin' tn bindin' on Gid
con bibles for order book covers.
An, by TIL way, I missed six Gid
con bibles from tn rooms last
month
"A travelling grocery salesman
who knew Uncle Charlie intimately
took up the thread of conversation
and soothed the old uncle by maxi
ing him acknowledge a few discrep-
ancies of the hotel service
The Saleman's Defense.
"'Well now, Uncle Charlie said
the salesman as he started with
smooth and modified air, you are
little unfair in some of your alleged
premises. Granted some of your
guests are kleptomaniacs and annoy
you. Do you not provide for such
shrinkages in your cost of running
your hotel-your overhead expense?
All large hotels accept the items Of
loss by souvenir hunters" as legiti-
mate overhead expense and charge
it to hotel upkeep. Those who do
not take things gratuitously from
hotels are really getting the worst
of it. In addition to their legiti-
mate bill they are innocentlv paying
the general added cost of the thefts
practiced by the more artful, leger-
demain type of guests.
"'And now again. Uncle Charlie
continued the salesman as he
warmed himself into the argument,
you must admit right here that the
room you charged me 81 for this
morning used to cost me (within the
last FIVE years. but 50 cents a night.
Then I could get reasonable accom-
modations for 81 day in this very
house. And yesterday it cost me
exactly $5l5 for service not nearly
so good as the old 81 day Amer
lean plan style. You old fossil,
why don't you wake up! You're
getting yours with vengeance. But
you squeal like a pig under a gate
when someone walks off with one
of your nickel and dime store
spoons. You are behind the times.
If it's stylish for you to cabbage
more than is coming to you it is
just as plausible for the other fell
low to retaliate-tit for tat. Your
ruthless disregard for the other
fellows rights makes you unholy.
uncompanionable, inconsistent! Get
into the band wagon! Wake up!
"As the salesman said this he
smiled. Then others began to laugh
and Uncle Charlie, cornered as he
was. blurted out:
We'll. | can't talk fast enough fer