The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-01-09


seems to be doin'
fine and bids fair
to make a wonderful growth. We
are expectin' great things from him.
If we take advantage of the oppor-
tunities he will offer us some mot
alp OF us may become millionaires
and others of us be elected to office,
All of you have swore off. Yes. and
you have turned 4 new leaf, and you
are goin' to write on that leaf a new
record. And you won't be able to
erase any of the items, SO be careful
what you write. Me? Well you
don't expect much from me. You
see ! have to cate. to So many dif-
ferent personalities that can't fol-
low any set rule. But | may say
that ] believe it's better to make
resolutions (and break 'em) than not
to make EN- at all. | haven't got
ten my 1919 motor license yet But
! was elected president of the liars
club ON account OF services rendered
and | ask you to kindly remember
me in YOUR devotional cxercises-by
so dom you will help me in my
work--for YOU.
sending Mr.. Wilson - pound cod
fish. This explains why MIR. Wilson
was so very anxious to get out of
this country. He just had to go
some place where he could eat all the
tlsh he wanted at onct.
SOfOlnon was a wise old bird and
yet if you will peruse his sayings in
the book of Holy Writ you will find
quite list OF things which he was
honest enough to admit he didn't lin
derstand. And no more q apprc-
hend) could he understand were he
among us today, why it is that a
ladies suit which sold at $1,000 be-
fore Christmas can now be sold for
$500. Methinks | can hear old Sol
say, Verify, the profiteer is abroad
in the land
The Worlds Largest Whistle
The largest whistle in the world IS
attached to the smokestack OF the !
Homestead, Pa, steel works, 200 feet
above the ground. 1t is five feet |
long and one foot in diameter. AMI
is connected with 5-inch steam
'':~e. 1t requires $50 pounds OF
steam to blow the whistle, which can
be heard twelve miles.--From the
Boston Globe. showed this clip
ping to fellow and said to him.
''some whistle. Ell: 20, | don't
know he replied. Said he Il once
heard man call hogs that far"
But" said |, you don't mean to say
the hogs heard him. do you?" and he
angrily- retorted, haven't just told
you?'
Hencefortl any one who is bound
by habit will have my profound
sympathy. Yes, sir, they shore will.
Why? do you ask? Simply because
am victim of habit. It's like
this. have gone SO long on half
rations that it has become habit
So much so that when. we prepared
Christmas dinner land it was the
first good one for many months) |
simply couldn't eat it. wanted to
eat (Lordy. yes) but the habit OF
abstinence was too strong to be
broken. I hope the good Lord will
forgive Mr.. Hoover, | never can.
In the 18th century or about 5'7
years ago in Europe was founded the
"order of FOOLS It, had Git is said)
a large membership Some of the
members must have found their way
across the briny and located among
us The order was composed OF
gentlemen and noblemen. but in Mis-
souri, we call them politicians
I notice that Paderewski is spoken
of as presidential timber for (or in)
Poland. Well, pad" here's to you--
but remember. it's the longest pole
that knocks the persimmon.
Ford to Demand Recount
(Headline) My only comment is
this-I think Ford would better NOT
insist. A man who has caused as
much trouble as he has, has not right
to expect anything at the hands of
the public. The wonder to me is
that Ire got any votes at aft No,
don't think Uncle Henry would feel