davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

EUROPE is getting peevish about
the high prices Of food, but the
riots there have no lesson for the
fool profiteers in the United States.
A profiteer thinks he is smart. He is
not; he is merely mixture of fool
and hog.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17
TALES OF TOWN

n TALES OF TOWN
The higher the price of bacon the
better it smells while frying.
The best Day for Germany will be
that which finds her restored to de-
sirable citizenship.
Liberty Is too frequently construed
as the right to do as you please, and
to make everybody else stand for it.
To keep your powder dry" is very
good advice, but girl at one of these
summertime dances just can't do it.
Just to prove that everything has
its purpose in this world, we suggest
that the mosquito makes us think
more kindly of the fly.
Q q q
When the donkey saw the zebra, he
began to switch his tail. "Well, 1
never" was his comment. There's
mule that's been in Jail.
"Talk about woman taking time
to Dress" exclaims an Emmett wo-
man, II could buy half dozen hats
while my husband is buying one CT
gar"
A thief broke into a shoe store in
Colorado town and stole $40 worth
Of shoes. Why didn't he take the other
shoe. too? What good will one shoe
do him.
"Dog days are upon US and owners
of dogs found running at large with
out muzzle on will be shot without
further notice." is the warning given
in one of our exchanges.
We knew a young lady from Michi-
gan, To meet her ] never should wish
again. She'd eat ice cream Till with
pain she would scream, and she'd or
der another big dishigan.
. .
We read in one of our exchanges
that miss Gladys Jones, who hasn't
had vacation for some time, has gone
to Payette to rest the weak end" In
this case, il seems, the end justifies {
The means,
The chief trouble with the average 3
nan is ignorance. Lemonade with g
prig Of mint and cherry in it has Q
ust az musical downward gurgle Y
IS a highball but the ignorant gumps J
lon't know it. v
wake oop, We foghorn,' shouted y
hrs. Grogan, "Oi can't schlape wink f
n account av you're shnorin'," eye I,
aust try an get used to it." replied v
,rogan, "the same as Oh how Oh "
liver notice it mesilf, Mt ALL at all. !" II
q a
"Jess Willard loves the cows and A
hickens," writes an admirer describ- A
lg his home life. Oh, Jim Corbett, :,
ohm l.. Sullivan. Bob Fitzsimmons, ,,
ack Johnsing and all the rest of 'em q,
ere the same way, only they cared il
othing for the cows,
q q
All we lack is the car. There have
cen found and left at this office for
an automobile crank,
re chain. horn and license tag,
low if somebody will just have a q
cart and lose the rest of the ear =
e car 90 fishing.
q . "
The people are so often wrong that ~
e almost lose faith in them Nothing N
uch. We merely happen to remem- 81
er that, after Johnson whipped JEFF al
les, pretty nearly everybody predict
1 there would never be another prize az
ght Oh
. tn
During last year 744 packs of play ell
< cards were entered in the station sh
y account and paid out Of the con- Sc
ngent fund of the national House of of
You helped pay the bu
II. Mr.. Voter, but you didn't get to list
/ in the game,
Plans for nationwide anti-tobac- We
campaign have been blocked by ce'
court, but only temper fol
lily. As soon AS the Old Soak be- sp
mes accustomed to near beer and ins
ds water. he might as well begin ly
acquire taste for cubebs in his sh
pc. ste
Q q is
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

Charles B Scott, of Chicago Bureau
of Safety, was speaking to an aud
fence of workmen on the important
theme of accident prevention, and as
a humorous diversion he told story
which he had heard Ebert Hubbard
relate about James J. Hill. Mr.. Hill
was a born money-maker. When he
was a young man he had charge of a
railroad section in the Northwest
and with three other men boarded at
the Farmers and Merchants Hotel
in the small town. jim and these as
sociates made about the same wages
s47.50 month. There was very
comelv and beautiful young lady who
was accustomed to wait on the table
where these young men ate. and one
day, just before Christmas, Jim said.
"Boys, let's do something for the
girl" They said, "All right, jim;
we've been thinking about that.
Jim said, "Well, will you fellows do
whatever | do?" And they said Eyes
And so Mr.. Hill surprised them by
outline tweuty-dolar gold piece
from his pocket and spinning it on the
able. "Some of the fellows almost
vent under the table. and they said,
Jim, you are not going to give her
hat, are your" Jim Hill said eyes"
)ne fellow said, "I've only got ten
jim said, "Give me the ten
dollars and your note for ten and
will put up the twenty for you" They
aised the eighty dollars and present
d it to the young lady. The next day
i'm Hill married the girl"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

1t was the same old story. He had
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

A teacher was explaining to her
class the advantages of color harmony
in ones personal appearance. Snow,
the black haired person. explained the
teacher, SHOULD wear dark clothes,
the brown haired person brown clothes
etc" The silence of the next few sec
onds was broken by certain ungainly
youngster asking. What about the
baldheaded mani"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

got the wrong number on the tele-
phone. Only this time he received a
shock. "I'm sorry gave you the
wrong line" said sweet voice over
the wire at doesn't matter a Bit"
he replied, not to be outdone in court
esy. I'm sure the number you gave
me was much better than the one
asked for; but it just happened that
I wasn't able to use it,"
"Once upponer time said Uncle
Eben, "dar was a man dat said he
wanted to be his own boss. He saved
up enough SOS he didn't owe nobody
muffin an set out on an enjoyment
trip An de car conductor said Step
lvelyI an de hotel clerk said, Go
somewhere else!' an de telephone said
Drop in yoh 10 centsl an de taxicab
driver hollered, "Git out'n de way"
till finally he jes' packed up an went
back home where he wouldn't be or
dered around so much"
.
"Seven years ago." remarked Old
Bill Misgivens, "a farmer living just
west Of my place, hang his vest on
fence in the barnyard. A calf chewed
up pocket of the garment in which
was a standard gold watch. Last week
the animal, staid old mich COW, was
butchered for beef, and the timepiece
was found in such position between
The lungs Of the COW that the respira-
,ion-the closing in and the filling Of
he lungs-kept the stem-winder :
wound up, and the watch had lost
,ut four minutes in the seven years."
A certain professor who is noted
or being absent minded and who is
.eeping his wife in constant state of
worry for fear he will make a break
n public, recently purchased a new :
air Of trousers. He brought them :
ONE late in the afternoon and failed
0 mention the matter to his wife. :
he next morning he donned the new
rousers and left the old ones lying
n the floor. He reached the school :
lst as his wife was frantically ring :
lg his telephone and the first words
nat greeted his ear were: "What in
he world have you gone and done
OWL"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

We knew young lady from Mich.
gan, To meet her never should wish
again. She'd eat ice cream Till with
pain she would scream, and she'd or
der another big dishigan.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

The chief trouble with the average
man is ignorance Lemonade with a
sprig Of mint and a cherry in it has
just as musical downward gurgle
as a highball, but the ignorant gumps
don't know it.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

The people are so often wrong that
we almost lose faith in them. Nothing
much. We merely happen to remem-
Der that, after Johnson whipped JEFF
fries, pretty nearly everybody predict
ed there would never be another prize
fight.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

All we lack is the car. There have
been found and left at this office for
identification an automobile crank, a
tire chain, a horn and license tag
Now if somebody will just have a
heart and lose the rest of the car
we can 90 fishing
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

We read in one of our exchanges
that "Miss Gladys Jones, who hasn't
had vacation for some time, has gone
to Payette to rest the weak end In
this case, it seems the end justifies
the means,
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17

"Dog days are upon us and owners
Of dogs found running at large with
out muzzle on will be shot without
further notice. is the warning giver
in one of our exchanges.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-17
A 29c Table

See what you get for your money. Broke
lots of Wash Suitings, White Goods, Ginghams an
select while the lot is complete. Your 00r
pick of the entire table. & ~
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16

tion-wide strike of steel workers, be- ginning September P.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16

for the salary offered to begin on. All of these men took civil service examinations and were fully quanned for the positions open. This condl- ton exists not only here, but all over the country, and it is 10 relieve thls situation that Senator Moses has pre- sented his resolution. Several ot the force here at the post office reslgaed their positions, due to the fact that they could not live within the salary offered by the sovernme ent The post master cannot do anything to relieve the situation, being himself a servant of the gOVernm ent.
 Members of the force here stated that even milk-wagon drivers are getting $40 and $50 a week for labor that is not vital 10 the gOvernm ent or to the people. They also brOugbt out the fact that elevator n1en are being paid $4 a day and more for their services. With the two senators from Connecticut ba aclling the reSolu- tion and all of the postal employees in other states enlisting the aid of their senators. the postal employees feel that their ship is coming in.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
CONN. SENATOR'S ID
 BACK P.O. WORKERS
Brandegee and Mclean Favor
 Salary Increases

The local postal employees have received word from Senators Brande- gee and Mclean that they will sup port the postal employees in their application for an increase in alalN. Senator Moses. a few days ago, pre- sented a resolution before congress for an increase in compensation for all postal employees The postal cm- ploNes here imm ediatcly wired Sena- tor Moses of their endorsement of his resolution and also wired Senators Mclean and Brandegee asking them to lend their support to the resolution as formulated by Senator loses.
 A bill has been presented to con- gress for an increase and favoraEiy passed, but does not take effect until June 30, 1920, which is some time to wait. The increase in this act is very small and, in order to obtain an i'm mediate increase, Senator Moses has presented a new resolution, which the postal employees are backing to the limit. The pay of postal employees has not been increased as has other labor the highest salary being ap- proXimately $1,500 at the present time. Senator Moses, in his bill, asks for a, minimum of S1,500 for posta clerks, with a maximum of $2.300 for ordinary clerks. It takes about five years for a postal clerk to become highly efficient and he starts out at about $1,00o, being raised s1O0 each year. so that at the point of his high est efficiency he gets $500, which, the postal employe thinks, is too little to support him and his ia mily.
 During the past year at the New Britain post office fully half a dozen appointees have declined an appoint ment to positions on the post office staff. claiming they could not work
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
ASHLOOK, OWNED BY
 BELOW, ENTERED
Local Hotel Mans Horse to Take Part in Feature Attraction of Eastern
 States Exposition.

Springfield, Sept. 16.-Rain made it necessary to postpone yesterdays nght harness events at the Eastern States exposition track until today when four events will be raced. They are the PIP trot, the free-for-all. the three-year- and the 2:15 trot The track was rather heavy due to the rains, but the authorities in charge are using every means pos- sib1e to have it in fit condition for the starting of the opening race this afternoon at 1:30 o'clock
 The feature race of the day will be the free-for-all mill in which Wil- liam Lays Minor Hal and J. A. Me- Gregor's Athol flyer Baron Alta, lis entered. Along with this fast pair. Ashlook, the speedy entry of Fred Beloin of New Britain, Baron Merriam. J. E. Bolduc's steed; Bells, owned by Mrs. w. Starr Lee of Athol, and Baron Hal, the game side-wheeler of George l.. Weiss of Boston, will compete.
 The choice steppers of the event are Minor Hal, the fast timing local sidewheeler, and Baron Alta, which won from Ben Earl in straight heats at Athol on Labor day. Belon's mount is also picked by some of the railbirds to show.
 In the 2:15 trot, Radiant, owned by H. L. Handy of this city, is the only local entry. The black mare by Audubon Boy is trottingS against a fast field and will be obliged to go faster than usual to go under the wire first. Among her stanchest competitors are Peter Hopeful, Elec- tric McKerron and Josephine Watts,
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
MEXICANS ARE WARNED.
Those in Pueblo Advised Not to Cele
 bratc Independence Anniversary.

Pueblo, Col, Sept 16.--Mexican residents of Pueblo have been ad- vised by Adeloido J. Ortiz, Mexican consul in Denver, to refrain from celebrating the anniversary of in- dependence of Mexico from Spanish rule. This was the only action by the consul in connection with the lynching Saturday night of Jose Gonzales and Salvatore Ortez Mexi- cans following their murder of Patrol man Jeff Evans Consul Ortiz said he was awaiting instructions from Mexican Amb assador Bonillas at Washington
 The only semblance of disorder since the lynching was the firing of two shots last night at a patrolman. Neither shot took effect, and the identity of his assailant was not dis covered.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
YOUR CHILDREN
 NEED LAXATIVE!

The children need your closest attention especially after "stuf1ing' themselves with sweets, etc, at party the likei
 They are liable to get up in the morning complaining of cramps, bad tasting n;outh ; liable to have puffed eyes from restless slumber; feel tired and cranky; distempered and whimpering. Act promptly. Give them a dose of Dr. True's Elixir, the Family Lax ative and Worm Expeller, which millions of mothers were given by their parents, and who themselves are administering today, to their little ones.
 Only the purest of herbs are used-no harmful drugs-will relieve pleasantly the ordinary cases of Children's illness, COnsti- pation-worms. etc.
 Sym ptoms of Worms: Constipa tion, de- ranged stomach. swollen upper lip. sour stomach, offensive breath, hard and full belly, with occasional gripines,> ana pains about the navel pale face of leaden tint, eyes heavy and dull, twitchins cEelids itch ing of the nose, itching of the recturn, short dry cough, grinding of the teeth little red points sticking the tongue, starting during sleep, slow fever.
 Mrs Vim. c. Ronin of Caddo. Oklahoma, wrote regarding pr. Trues Elixir: We have used it for our children for the last twelve years. and certainly know the value of it." Three sizes. AT YOUR DEALERS.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
A THOROUGH TEST
One to Convince the Most slseptical
 New Britain Reader.

The test of time is the test that counts.
 Doan's Kidney Pills have made their reputation by effective action.
 The following case is typical.
 New Britain residents should be convinced
 The testimony is confirmed-the proof complete.
 Testimony like this cannot be ig- nored.
 Mrs. J. A. McGraAI, 432 Church St, New Britain, says: T used Doan's Kidney Pills when my back ached and felt weak, which seemed to be brought on by standing constantly. Mornings my back would feel lame and stiff and sometimes when stopped over, the pain would seem to catch me. Doan's never failed to relieve this trouble and they deserve the highest recommendation" (State- ment given April IF, 1916.)
 On December 10. 1918, Mrs. Me- Grail said: Whenever I have lame back or my kidneys trouble me, use Deans Kidney Pills and they are sure to relieve it."
 soc, st all dealers Foster Milburn O.. Mfers.. Buffalo. N. r.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
LADIES! SECRET TO
 DARKEN GRAY HAIR
Brings Back Color, Gloss and Youth fulness With Grandma's Recipe of
 Sage and Sulphur

Common garden sage brewed into a heavy tea, with sulphur and alcohol added, will turn gray, streaked and faded hair beautifully dark and lux uriant. Mixing the Sage Tea and Sul- phur recipe at home though, is troublesome. An easier way is to get the ready-to-use preparation improved by the addition of other ingredients a large bottle, at little cost, at drug stores, known as "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound" thus avoiding a lot of musS
 While gray, faded hair is not sinful, we all desire to retain our youthful appearance and attractiveness. By darkening your hair with Wyeth's s Sage and Sulphur Compound, no one can tell because it does it so naturally, so evenly. You just dampen a sponge or soft brush with it and draw this through your hair, taking one small strand at a time; by morning all gray hairs have disappeared. After another application or two your hair becomes beautifully dark, glossy, soft and luxuriant and you appear years younger.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
SEA CAPTAIN MURDERED.
Killed By Negro Mate Who Was
 Jealous of His Promotion.

Wilmington, N. C., Sept. 16.-In- vestigation of the death of RObie E. Corkrum, captain of the schooner William H. Sumner, which grounded in Topsail Inlet a week ago and whose crew said the master killed himself because of despondency over the grounding of his vessel has resulted in the implication of one of the crew in the killing.
 The authorities here say three negro seamen have admitted Cap tain COrkrum was shot with his own revolver last Monday morning by Charles l.. Lacey, negro mate, who was jealous over Corkrums promo tiOn to be master.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
ATHLETES FEEL H. (. |.
Stars of Metropolitan Association Are Warned Against Lavish Expense Accounts i'm Future

New York, Sept. 16.-Echoes of economy and the problem of the H. c. l.. rumbled through the theater of the Seventy-f regiment last night when the annual conclave of the Metropoli- tan association of the A. A. U. held solemn session. If the local body has it's way as recorded in the recommen- dations to the National association at it's meeting, which will take place in 8 month or two, no longer will the star athlete be allowed to charge Plaza prices on his expense account for an out of town trip for a Mills menu. Hereafter the athlete who is taking a. trip of not more than six hours from his home bailiWick will be allowed only expenses for the day before, the day of and the day after his competi- tion. In the past a runner or field athlete might run up to the Bronx for a contest and get enough on the side to pay weeks board.
New Britain herald., 1919-09-16
\. +. OF l.. MEETING.
2i InternationaI Unions Will Be Rep
 resented at Pittsburgh Session.

Pittsburgh, Sept. 16.-The presi- dents of A international unions, labor leaders and organizers from all sec tions of the country are expected to arrive today and early tomorrow to attend a meeting on Wednesday of the American Federation of Labor nation- al committee for organizing iron and steel workers.
 At this session the committeeman will discuss plans for the proposed na-
The Washington times., 1919-01-29
Puss in Boots
Jr. L.
By David Cory.

CEI IIGH-HO. how the winds
n blow" exclaimed little
= Puss Junior, as he rode
along on his good gray
horse towards the castle of my Lord
Of Carabas to see his dear father,
PUss in Boots. \
You remember in the last storyI
the innkeeper had told our little
traveller that his father wished to
see him, and Puss Junior had
started out forthwith to comply
with his fathers wish. But New
Mother Goose Land was big
country and our little hero did not
realize how long a journey IT was.
You see. he had been seeking ad-
ventures for so long and had trav-
eIed so far, sometimes on the back
OF his good friend. GOosey, GOosey,
Gande-, sometimes in the aIrship,
whose captain was q downey goose
and the sailors four and twenty
doves. and then. aEaia,-en broom
sticks and umbrellas and baskets
that few in the air with their old
women owners. that now. once
more, astride Of his good, gray
horse, who had carried him many a
mile in Old Mother Goose Land,
and therefore must know the way
back, he felt he would soon be with
his father.
Well. as Puss rode along he came
TO a bend in the road where an au-
tomobile stood. 1 guess il had
broken down. for the chauffeur was
tinkerinE with the machinery.
And just then a blackbird perched
herself on the fence along the road
and began 70 sing:
TaHy was a chauffeur, Tafy was a
loafer,
T1Gy broke a tire everywhere he
went,
His master soon grew tired, Taffy
ne was fred.
Tahy he was fired without another
cent
TSRy came to masters house. mas
ter wasn't in,
Tahy made An awful row, kicked up
such q din,
He blew on his auto horn. blew
with all his might,
Every one but TaEy ran away in
fright.
whoa there" cried Puss Junior.
and the blackbiFd must have
thought IL was meant for her, for
Biz ENDhBNA III GDAA- anu ioNlNt " Il
our small hero. And OF course the
good gray horse stopped and Tafy
well. he crawled out from under
the automobile and scoVled at the
bIzckbird. And this made Puss
Junior laugh, and the good gray
horse cough and the black bird
Enicker, and then Taffy got very
red In the face.
+Fef1=tsfe-tit, your tongue shall
be Slit," he cried and made a jump
for The -bIackbird- but she cispped
her wings and few away. And
after sFst Puss Junior said gid-up
20 his horse and rode of. leaving
Taffy TO 1nish mending his automo-
bile. And, after a little ways. the
blackbird came back and settled
herself on the head OF the good
gray horse. where are you go
ing" she said. To visit my father,
Puss In Boots, replied our little
hero, and in the next story you
shall hear what happened on the
way.
Copyright. 1919, David Cory.
(TO be COntlnuedD
The Washington times., 1919-01-29

The Voice above US shouted Halt
but the echo was lost in the deaf
ening report Of a rife.
Francis caught Monica by the
wrist and dragged her forward. We
went plunEing and crashing
through the tanEle Of the 'ravine.
We heard a second shot and a
third, commands were shouted. the
red glare deepcned in the sky.
Monica collapsed quite suddenly
at my feet. She never uttered a
sound, but fell prone, her face as
white rs paper. without 2 word
we picked her up between US and
went on, stumbling, GaspinG. cough
ing. our clothes rent and torn, the
blood oozing from tho deep
scratches on our faces and hand.
At length our strength gave ont.
We laid Monica down in tho ravine
and drew the underground over
her. then We craWIed in under the
brambles exhausted. beat.
Dawn was strcakinG the sky
with lemon when a dog jumped
shifting into our hiding place.
Francis and Monica were asleep.
4 man stood at the top OF the
ravine looking down on US lie
carried n gun over his shoulder.
Have YOU had an accident he
said kindly.
He spoke in Dutch.