Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1919-07-18

forty times to promise the same thing,
but l have done it and never
will"
"But l wish / hadn't"
"But you did, and now we must
see how you can get out of it. Was
your wife ever in a boat till that
day."
"Never."
"Was there any call for her to go
on the river?'
"Not a call"
(which of the women suggested
that they take the boat?"
"My wife,"
"Deacon Strothers, if that don't
come under the head of conspiracy,
then my old white COW is a red onel
If anyone c~onspires to force a
promise out of another then that prom
Use won't hold"
81 believe you are right, Mr.. Roe
buck" replied the deacon with relief in
his voice.
"Of course I am. An agreement
that benefits only one side does not
hold. Did your wife speak UP and
say that she would not marry again
if you died first?"
"She did not!"
? SWELL, there you are, as free as a
bird, though you'd better go to the
parson and see what he thinks about
it. He may hold sentimental views"
The deacon walked over to the par
sonage, and not wishing to be too
brusque, he began:
"Parson, do you hold that an angel
here below?"
eff they could they wouldn't be
angels very long," was the grim
reply.
"Did you ever preach that they
could?"
"Not that I remember of. Heaven
is a long way off, deacon"
"My wife kinder believed that after
she got to heaven she could see what
was takin' place down here"
The parson was silent.
"She wanted me to promise not to
marry again in case she died, because
if she looked down and saw me with
a second wife it would make her feel
bad.
eff anything could make the angels
feel bad in heaven, it would not be
heaven, would it?'
"By George, parson, it wouldn't!
Martha was mistaken about it. If
1 was to marry half a dozen times
over she couldn't know anything
about it."
"But did she ask you to promise?'
Queried the parson.
"Yes, she kinder asked me"
"And you promised?"
"Yes, l kinder promised, but 1t was
because 1 did not want her to feel
bad as an angel. Now that you say
she couldn't feel bad if she tried her
hardest, 1 guess that promise needn't
bother me much"
"But look out next time, deacon"
"Yes-ahem-yes"
"It's the Widow Stephens, I sup
poser"
"Yes, kinder"
"Throw out any hints YETI"
"a dozen, I guess"
"You may find hat she made a prom
Use to her dying husband"
"Jewhittaker! I'll see about that
the first thingi"
It was q new scare for the deacon,
and he made the two blocks to the
Widows house on the trot. He found
her in the garden coaxing the pea
vines to climb their best, and he
didn't wait a minute before asking:
'Widder Stevens, did your husband
expect to go to heaven when he
died?"
81 don't see how he could. He was
a man that cussed and gambled and
drank"
ibid he ask you to promise not to
marry againT
"No, he didn't, and if he had l
should have told him that that was
my own business. Why r you asking
these questions?"
"Widder, hain't I been a good man
at the woodpile?"
ZINE.
"And a good one in the garden?"
"Sure."
Sand hain't I lonely and you
lonely?"
1--WE are"
"Then-then let's get married! !"
"La me! Bring on the parson and
have it over with and off our hands,
for them string beans have got to be
poled afore sundown!"
Water Damage to Flour.
It is a well-known fact among sail
ors that -four will not only float after
immersion in sea water, but suffers
very little damage. To ascertain the
actual damage, says the Northwestern