Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-10-09
Life's Problems
Are Discussed

Man always wants what he has
not; when it's cold he wants 1t hot"
II this were not 90 my daily bundle
OF mail would probably diminish to
the vanishing point
Most of the men and women and
boys and girls who write me do not
deny that they have distinct advaut-
ages and compensations of one kind
or another: but-And, then they 70
on to tell me about that one SEEM
ingly unattainable thing on which
their hearts are set and the lack Of
| which poisons their whole cup of hap
piness.
Here is very typical letter of ths
sort:
Dear Mrs. Woodrow: I am
! reader of your articles, and feeling
that many girls must have been great
ly helped by your excellent advice, I
am asking your consideration OF my
own problem
Il am only eighteen years old, but
am employed as bookkeeper by a very
large concern. The position is q re-
sponsible one, and consequently can
not help feeling that I have made :
success in the business, or rather "of-
fice," world
yet. although my ability and the
character of my work is realized and
appreciated. am very unhappy at
times because 1 am a total social
failure.
The trouble is. am very bash
ful. 1t is hard for me to greet peo-
pie, even though 1 have met them
several times; and as a result I am
sure that many persons think me
'stuck-up', while the truth is that
feel inferior to them.
1T seems almost impossible for me
70 commence or carry on an ordinary
conversation; and yet, as a daily
reader of the newspapers I am we'll
informed on current events. and I also
try to keep in touch with the sub
jects discussed in books and periodi-
Gals. But when am called upon to
talk l have nothing TO say.
IL there Is anything you can sug-
gest that will overcome this feeling
of difidence, you will indeed add to
my happiness, and, L am sure, benefit
many other girls who suffer in the
same way.
&C. r..
She is eighteen and has made good
in responsible position" Appar-
emily she enjoys the career she has
chosen. She is free and independent,
her own mistress. capable of earn
ing her own living and asking no
| odds of anyone.
Doesn't she know that many
pONis'i lsiNOElleg IldUy DetIeQ de-
butante whose name is double-starred
upon the society page. many of the
girls she envies who can chatter away
siN-to-a- dozen and who are always the
center of admiring groups, would give
all they possess for her feeling of free
dom and sense of capability.
Why should she feel inferior to
them. a regular stick in company,
always at n loss for something to
1ltl1nugb ha 10 -irf
intelligent.
Because-and 1 deduce this from
her letter-she is neglecting a very
marked social talent which she pos
sesses and instead is trying to adapt
herself to another sort of talent which
does not belong to her at all.
Man is naturally a gregarious ami
NAL. He loves to flock with his kind
And this is especially true of the
young; they are seldom happy when
alone. 1t is a normal instinct with
us to seek the society of others, and
in that association we want to "hoid
up our end"
But for this companionship and
commingling we are given, as St
Paul said of the early Christian
Church, diverse gifts.
Some are witty, some profound :;
some are musical. some tell a good
story some are merely agreeable rat
ties. But rarest of all are those
who listen well.
Few of us really care to hear any
one talk except ourselves. II you
watch people at conversation you will
sec that most of them are simply
waiting for the chance to break in
and air their own opinions and ac-
complishments. To find an auditor
who will give one his actual interest
and undivided attention is like water
in the desert. The silences of such a
person are unnoted: he is regarded as
the most delightful and sympathetic
of companions.
And the girl who writes me evil
IDENTIFY has this quality. The fact that
she has made good in the position she
holds shows that she Is able to listen
and concentrate upon what is told her.
Why, then, does she not apply to
her social world the same methods
that she has successfully tried out in
her business career? If she would
quit laboring to take a part in the
conversation forget herself entirely
- and cultivate an interest in others
by seeking to gain instruction or
amusement in what they are saying
drawing them out by her obvious ap-
probation and intelligent questions
she would soon find that she would
lack neither friends nor popularity
And then some day, when she is
absorbed in some especially interest
ing discussion, she will suddenly find
her sealed lips unlocked and herself
talking away with freedom and force
that will surprise her