Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-04-02

A FRIEND WE ALL KNOW.

FRIEND WE ALL KNOW.
A little girl, a roundabout
With a face as sweet saur kraut,
A character who is always such
That thinks too little talks too much.
In an empty-headed giddy way
Talks OF her friends the live-long day,
1t matters not who these may be
1t may be you and it may be me,
She's a real domestic, cooks and sews
And who she may be. God only knows.
L. P.
Again proving the truth OF that practical
but homely old that there is more than
one way OF skinning a cat"-even if the cat is
q dog OF Turk-on the approval of Secretary
Lansing, the British government is given per-
mission TO arrest a pair of individuals who
have not yet discovered that sticking NIT der
kaiser is no longer being done with much
success
TO O. d. X.
Dear o. d. X: The other day, heard you
are woman. Perhaps that's why you have a
way that touches interest-human.
But still your humor is so rare. so full OF
nerve and vigor, it almost makes me want to
dare to see your girlish figure.
Such gifts are mighty hard to find, unless
one is persistent; a graceful figure plus a
mind-are sadly Inconsistent.
l think it such splendid plan. since you
have not intended to disappont a maid or man.
or leave pal offended, to print your picture
where it stays above your pen-name proper
and then your clever. mannish ways will noe
seem such a WHOPPER. e T. S.
TO clear up any doubt that may still exist
in the minds of some OF our contribs. regarding
our sex, and for the especial edihcation of E.
T. s., may we not mention, inadvertently, that
our little girl calls DADDY"
The picture idea suggested by E. T S.
causes US to offer the excuse for not carrying it
out. that are supposed to be conducting a
cOlumn-nOt comic picture section.
To R. A. s.: Keep your eye the post
E. F.: Your call saved you by a narrow
margin
Giving our friend Morse full credit for the
idea we mention that there are a number of local
establishments that see no terror in the coming
of July; for instance. Young & McCombs and
MeCabes, inasmuch as they deal only in dry
goods.
YEH, THEY DROP A STITCH AT THE TOP
AND PICK 1T UP AT THE BOTTOM.
Sir: Four hundred pairs of socks have been
knitted for the Red Cross by the iremen of
four New York companies. Some of them, they
say, have become SO expert they slide down
the pole without missing a stitch
PAULINE L.
The assistant secretary of the navy is quot
ed by the A. P as saying in endorsement OF
the league of nations that under it our rela-
tiOns with mankind will go from better to
better" To US, that shows no advancement
at all.
WELL. WE'LL HAVE TO PAGE THE LADY.
Sir: In breaking in a new contrib. l
only ask: What has become of Add-a-Line?
X. J. C.
Grown Prince Admits Possibility of His
Being Tried by Court. The a.
admit-habh" is a good one for the Hohenzol-
Tn ko1 To have
lots of use for it
The inspired compositor made the headline
read: Establishing Court TO Try GenK
Ludendorn
Match IT. Man You Cawn't Even Approach 1t!
(Galesburg Republican Register
For Sale-Strictly modern two-family fat;
one-half block from Main ST., S7,700 splendid for
business man, railroad man or widow wanting
a modern home and monthly income of $56
Where can you match that.-Aaron Wood, 81
Aliens avenue.
In Kentucky there is a chiropractor by the
name of A. Lose. Now. if that had been the
name of ope of his patients no one would have
wondered much.
DRY STUFF
Sir: And you must remember that with the
coming of parched prohibition there passes into
the labyrinth of oblivion the land of Bohemia,
snappy fiction than it does in the quarter in
N Y. EYE GEE ELL
A lot of defeated candidates now understand
better than ever before the true significance of
April 1.
If it were not for Chicago one might, with
certain amount of truthfulness, say the world
had truly been made safe for democracy.
Hoch the sixth German city and it's kaiser
Bill
o. D. K.