Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-07-24

Some Things a Travelling Man Should Know.

Some Things a Travelling Man Should Know.
| l. That a woman may be looking in your
/ direction and really net see you at all
2. That ringing home box of chocolates.
after your wife has reminded you it is your
anniversary, does not spell sentiment.
J. That as you are usually a guest" in your
own home you should study that excellent es-
say, "How to Be an Ideal Guest"
4. That U. c. T. button does not entitle
you to four seats in day coach.
| 5. That the girl at the lunch counter sees
hundreds OF smiles every day quite as attrac-
tive as yours.
6. That wearing your hat on Che train will
not multiply those reminiscent locks
2. That being a compulsory widow nine
tenths of the year minus a widows privileges,
is not exactly what you pictured to friend wife,
when you built your castles together.
8. That arguing may create sales "On the
road" and friction at home.
9. That the famous three-word-classic,
which you knew by heart in the days OF court
ship, might interest friend wife"-since she
so seldom hears you mention it.
10. That it is possible to be so broad minded
that you are in danger of becoming fat-headed.
IL. That buying shares in a crouch distillery
is an investment that pays no attractive divi-
dends.
H. That the gentle art of listening may be
cultivated in your own home quite as proftably
as ION the road" z. T. S.
The blimp that burned in Chicago was built
for publicity purposes. Here is case where
the press agent literally burned 'em up.
In Tulsa Okla. minister has introduced
jazz music Sunday evenings to increase at
tendance Some years ago a Chicago reporter
wrote the heading, "Jerked to Jesus after
a hanging "Jazzed to Jesus" might be applied
to the Oklahoma experiment.
In Chicago a college student found nnys-
terious package on his doorstep He called
the police He suspected bomb When the
package opened it was found to contain
woman's bathing suit There wasn't any ex-
plosion, but the suit was loud enough to be
heard mile, it was said.
Norman Ross says he intends to swim the
English channel What he meant to say is that
he will make the attempt.
Out in kansas one Of the newspapers has
reporter 50 years old. And he admits he is still
learning the business He has refused many
high editorial positions. If you are good re-
gagged in the grandest of professions This
82-year-old writes all his copy long hand. He
says he enjoys his work more than he did so
years ago. He is having the time of his life.
And he has been so busy he hasn't yet taken a
wife He says when he grows old enough to
know how to handle wife he may take one.
Still you come across chaps of 40 who com
plain they are growing old.
A congressional investigation promises to
uncover pack of war vampires. Differing
without the covering.
With the growing OF the airship, and
possibility of accidents such as occurred in
Chicago the other day, the safety first indi-
vidual will come to the conclusion that about
the only way OF making sure of escaping trou-
bic is travelling underground.
Davenport is to have a million dollar bust
ness building. 1t is to be erected by one of its
citizens who made his fortune in that town.
Most men who make their wads at home invest
it elsewhere. Faith will make any city.
You are warned II you buy yeast to make
intoxicating beverages you are liable to prose-
cution. This ruling ought to get rise out of
a lot OF people.
So the earth goes singing.
One with the tidal roll of stars
Suns and their clustering planets,
Comets, and wilder Migrants of heaven
CLEMENT WOOD.
AS you lie abed these mornings stewing
over your future you might profit by peering
out the window and watching couple of birds
battling over worm.
There is a court fight over s7O.O 900 of the
estate of the late Marshall Field, the Chicago |
merchant king, son born out OF wedlock to !
son of the decedent having bobbed UP. The |
parentage of the child is not denied. Mr.. Field |
built wonderful business, and while II brought !
him wealth and fame it wasn't powerful enough |
to prevent the scandal that seems inevitably to /
follow families that pile up more money than |
they know what to do with.
Mayor Thompson of Chicago says prison |
terms for persons responsible for the high cost
of living is the only solution Of the evil That's |
old stuff. The big fellows are not in the least
alarmed over such talk If all the guilty were
punished the penitentiaries of the nation would |
not be large enough to accommodate them.
J.MC