The Washington herald., 1919-05-04
Illustrated by ALBERT LEVERING

advance to make his voice sound
tragical. right now your uncles and
my uncles is making peace in Paris
with all the strength of language
which they've got in their system
Yes, Mr.. Sitson.' the salesman
should go on to say. the government
is only asking you to invest in inter-
est bearing cash money, so to speak.
and what for a sacrifice is that COM
pared to the suffering of your father
in-laws and my father-in-laws which
is bravely standing larynx to larynx
in the battle area of the peace con-
ference while the air is filled with
French. Italian, Greek, Jugo-Slob and
comfortable home while the flower of
our experts and college professors is
exposed to all kinds of coffee and ci-
gars. Amt you ashamed to be doing
nothing but buy bonds when old and
feeble men like most Of the American
peace delegates is battling with
French waters. French taxicab driv-
ers. French hotel service and French
laundry lists, giving and receiving no
mercy. y'understand, and you should
thank Heaven that your own country
has been spared the horrors of hav-
ing on our own soil this here Peace
Conference which is now raging in
Paris. understand me-"
That would be anyhow an argu-
ment," Morris admitted. But with
these here Victory Liberty bonds. it
shouldn't ought TO be a case of first
come first serve. With only four and
a half billion dollars worth of Vic
tory Liberty bonds for sale, Abe, 70
per cent of the people of the United
States should ought to be going round
looking as sore as fellers that sell
tickets in theatcr box offices, and
when anyone asks EN- why. they
should say: "Ain't il just my luck
/ put OF buying my Victory Liberty
bonds till April 23rd. and when / got
round to the bank. there wasn't one
left Yes. Abe! instead of Victory
Liberty bond salesman having 10 go
about visiting customers. y'under-
stand, they should ought to have lux
urious fitted-up Offices and il should
ought to be a case of when the GUS
toner arrives. the Victory Liberty
bond salesman should ought to be
playing auction pinochle or rummy
with two other Victory Liberty bond
statesmen. Then when the customer
says is this the place where they
sell Victory Liberty bonds. the sales
man says: I'll be with you in a min
ute and makes the customer stand
around without even offering him a
seat until the salesman gets through
playing two more hands. The Gus
toner should then make out his own
application. y'understand. have the
exact change ready and close the door
quietly when leaving, and that's the
way I would sell Victory Liberty
bonds if I was the government"
That's the way you even try to
sell garments" Abe commented.
Because" Morris continued. evad-
ing the challenge. lit is my idea that
IL is a privilege to be allowed TO buy
these here Victory Liberty bonds and
before anyone gets that privilege. Abe,
nc should be made 10 prove that he
has done something TO deserve il.
Yes. Abe. instead of a man wearing
button TO show that he has bought
Liberty bonds. he should ought to go
before a notary public and make
oath that he has given up his quota
to all Red Cross and United War Re-
lief drives and otherwise done every
thing he could do TO help win the