Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-06-03
An OId-FashiOned Mother.

Mrs Thomas J. Preston, widow of Grover
Cleveland, is opposed to woman suffrage May
sound trihe old-fashioned, but somehow hel
position rings of that sweetness and sanctity
of home and f1reside, and the thought that you
just don't care to have your mother and sister
dabbling in such a game to which there at
taches so much odium as politics, don't you
know.
Mrs. Virginia Mustard is leader in Demo
cratic politics in Delaware. Yes, she is capa-
BILE of making it warm for the opposition.
In Chicago the other night a negress es-
capped from Jail minus even as much apparel
as Eve is reputed te-have worn in the Garden
of Eden. She managed to get to a telephone
on which she got the judge of the morals court
If your imagination is sufficiently fertile you
may be able to whittle a wheeler out of this
situation. Correct, you said it. For the best
answer to what the judge said to the chocolate
drop when she said hello to him we will award
a ripe watermelon from our private garden
The answers must be in this oflce before mid
night July 4.
This business of grooming men prominent
in the movies presidential timber may de-
velop interesting complications. What would
you say to Charlie Chaplin running as an indie
pendent? If the kids could vote he would
touch goal in canter.
Barnum has been missing from among us
these many years. but he said face full when
he remarked about the American public liking
to be fooled. We were just thinking of the
society event that is being cooked up to be set
off at Toledo on Independence day. The pro-
moter has even gone to the lengths of pulling
the loving mother sob stuff to loosen the sheck-
els. Jack Dempsey's mother is reputed to have
written him letter from her home in Cali
fornia expressing the hope that he would win
1t was hardly to be expected that she would
wish that he would lose 1t is even declared
that Dempsey refuses to be Interested in the
attractive women who are going in droves to
see him train. OF course not. We imagine
that he is going about with blanket over his
head.
The fool who rocked the boat may be heard
from any day now.
Inside Information.
G. G. writes to inquire how to make two
squash grow where only one grew last year
Answer: Arise an hour earlier for nine consec-
hour each the large toes of both feet. Shake
well before using. No. Columbus had no full
brothers. Men did not drink to excess in his
day.
Well VS.. Well is the title Of divorce action
action in the local court. 1t might not be out
of place to remark that alls well that ends
well.
"I notice where Bethany home is advertis-
ing for supply Of Dutch cleanser" postcards
Emmeline. Il thought since the ending OF
the war, there wasn't any such animal. Fur
thermore, that sounds like German propaganda.
l move that the name be changed to American
cleanser"
No. Angelina the taxing by the government
OF merry-go-rounds does not mean that you
as member of the society you mention, will
have to kick in.
William Breese has been granted divorce
from Mabel Breese. A Breesey affair, so to
speak.
You're wrong, Emil. The coming of the
government tank officers to the arsenal had
nothing to do with the enforcement of the dry
regulations here. You have another tank
coming.
You may have noticed that Mr.. Slime was
the owner of the car that was bumped by a
drunken driver the other evening. Slime wasn't
even spilled, however.
%
Harry may be a Hawker. Well he can't
fly like Read, that's all.
J.MC