davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Luke McLuke Says

The girl who is fishing for hus band is about as impatient as the man who is fishing for catfish. Both imagine that every nibble is bite
 Before he gets her he believes that she is so intelligent that he can make her come to his way of think ing by using quotations from the Poets. But after he gets her he be- lieves that she is so Dumb that he couldn't make her argree with him by using Club.
 Few things are so quickly forgot ten as a Campaign issue after the campaign is oyer.
 Education is constantly developing crooks who think that they are much smarter than the other crooks. That is why penitentiaries are always be- ing enlarged.
 A wife doesn't waste any time cod ding a husband when he is well. But, gosh, how she does worry over him when he comes home sick! Every man has to have at least I ISW ploJuulCSo oo lc odH looC ooiilc of his hard-earned money betting on them.
 If you want everybody in town to know story inside of two days just whisper it as a secret and make the man you tell it to swear that he will not repeat it.
 Some talking machines use a crank and a spring as the motive power Others use electricity as the
 motive power. But the human talk ing machine uses hot air as the mo i've power.
 | The trouble with a wife who los ss her temper is that she always gets
 it back again.
 It is hard to tell a mans real
 value by the amount of life insurance he carries. Some of the most useful | men we know of carry about $5,000 and some men who are about as use
 full as a cootie carry $25,O0O Nobody loves a Pessimist But an | Optimist is likely to be so much | that way that he won't bother to lay anything by for rainy day be
 cause he figures he can always bor
 row an umbrella.
 You can always gain woman's | friendship by knocking one of her woman friends.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

To others he Independent. The Republican convention refused to nominate him. Two years be- fore that he had schemed to secure the Democratic nomination. Two years before he sought the Demo- cratic nomination, he a Progressive. There are few people who believe he would have filed for the Republican nomination in 1918 if it had not been that he a chance capture the party be- cause other Republican had filed. If any strong Republican had filed for the Republican nomination A hours before the nominations closed last year,
 in all probability, Wickersham, if he had been a candidate at all, would have added few more party labels to his vari-coored political record.
 For ten years before 1918, Wickersham had not even claimed be a Republican. In that time he had belonged to tried to belong to practically every other political party-but to the Republican.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

At last has risen to place or power Tn the turmoil of European affairs who not only has been in America, but is known in America Ihe great Clemenceau knows Amercia at hrst hand ana made his home here for while, and Leon Irotzky lived in New York, but neither impressed hlmself on thesAmerican mind in any way.
 But Paderewski, who seems to have unified Poland, is known by sight to millions of Americans, the most of whom know him also sa great artlst Years ago Americans would have laughed at the mo- ton that a statesman's brain under that fam ing shock of hair but after the war began Pad9reW- ski showed himself in new light. He appeared as a leader Of Polish thought in America and as an orator of stirring power. He was new Paderew- ski to Americans, but there nothing new in his devotion to Poland
 He expelled from Russia on 24 hours notice fouting the Czar to his face and that was many years ago. when the ruler of all the Russas addressed the young artist calling him great Russian pianist
 "I Pole,'' said Paderewski, and there being no such thing Pole in the Czar's court, Pader- ewski lost all of his valuable engagements in Russia and fled to escape than punishment
 He is Pole st and seems to be in fair way to make Poland, where every Pole may pro- claim his and allegiance with no fear of des- pots,
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
EXPORT THAT DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE
 RECORD.

The Douglas Island News calls attention to very important 1918 Alaska export that does not appear in the official rceord-the boys who went off to war and the camps to prepare for While the export one to measure the value of which have no standard, it had very important influence the economic condition of Alaska. The man-power of the Territory reduced to such extent that both exports and imports in material things were much smaller. than they would have been had it not been for this priceless product.
 The Douglas Island News puts it this way:
 "In reading the annual report of the act
 ing collector of customs for Alaska it is
 that the Alaska trade fell off several
 million dollars. The shrinEage mostly
 in copper and gold. If we did not send
 much minerals in 1918 did the year
 before it would seem that the Territory
 more than held it's when you think of
 the several thousand young fighting men
 that left the Territory with Uncle Sam's
 army. Their worth not be measured in
 dollars but if it could it would be seen that
 the year 1918 was the biggest in the history
 of Alaska"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
MIR. BOURNE'S MISTAKE.

The publicity bureau conducted in Washington City, for the purpose of making President Wilson unpopular, by Jonathan Bourne muti-monaire but erstwhie Oregon Populis is responsible for the following which mailed free to all newspapers:
 Tn November, 1916, James Wickersham
 Republican, duly and lawfully elected Delegate in Congress from the Territory of
 Alaska. certificate of election issued
 to Charles A. Sulzer, the Democratic can
 didate Wickersham protested the election
 and diligently pursued his claim to the seat
 in the House of Represen tatives, but, in ac-
 cordance with the usual Democratic policy
 of delay the contest not determined
 until January 2, 1919 when the House de-
 cided by vote of 204 to GA that Wicker
 sham should be given the to which
 he elected than two years be-
 fore. The Congress to which Wickersham
 elected will expire March 4, 1919. Out
 of the two-year period to which a Republican
 elected the position has been held for
 than 22 months by Democrat"
 MT. Bourne's publicity writer is mistaken Judge Wickersham was not elected Republican He did not claim to be- He told the people in several sections of Alaska that he was Wilson Democrat. In other places he said he was Pro- gressive-D Democrat To some he Progressive
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Quaker Quips
Philadelphia Record,

Philadelphia Record)
 Even when a man rests on his laurels he may suffer from insomnia The egotist is never blind to his own interests. He has capital Is. You never can tell. It's the sure things that make life so uncertain When a man is ashamed to show his colors it's pretty good sign he's yellow.
 Treat 'em rough" was the slogan of the tanks. The Prohibitionists are now taking up the cry.
 Marry a girl who believes in love in a cottage. It's a cinch you can make her believe anything.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

They're coming to Alaska. The influx of people to the Northland has started and the last great rush to the land of gold is This time it is not a mad scramble like it was when white men first were drawn to the North by the magic word .gold" This time it is quiet determined movement of people wish ing to establish homes in country where they may have the advantage of growing with the country, where they may find opportunity that to be found nowhere else.-(Fairbanks Citizen.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
AEROPLANE USED
 FOR ELECTION BY
 ANDREW BONAR LAW

LONDON, Feb. 11.-An example of the commercial uses to which the airplane might be devoted has been given by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Andrew Bonar Law, by twice flying from his home in Lon- don to Scotland to make speeches in the parliamentary campaign now ended The Chancellor was the first statesman in England to avail himself of air transport for every day purposes. By travelling by air plane. he crowded. into six hours journey which would have con- sumed "A hours by train.
 Tndau,c Moura Todou-I In E,,a lrn
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
BRITISH SUBSCRIPTIONS.

LONDON, Feb. II. - The Lon don Evening News estimates the total subscriptions to British war bonds at $S,000, 1000.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Those NocturaI FIue Germs

Those NocturaI FIue Germs
 During the Flue epidemic the Gin cinnati Board of Health permitted the stores to remain open all day and closed them at p. m. to discour- age the Flu germs. the idea being, we suppose, that the germs pounded their ears all day and went to work at six p. m. The Health Officer of Fresno, Cal. seems to have the same idea. He has issued this or der:
 Dr. Mathewson said he would also require patrons of restaurants to sit as far removed from one another as possible after z o'clock.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

After reading about what he has been doing back in Poland, all of will hasten to reract anything thought about Paderewski's hair.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Mary" Here, we may be sure, the two women got together on common grounds of the ewigeweiblich.
 Oh, the ewigeweiblichs is them fluffy hing-ma-jigs that they wear under their whatchacallits.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Mrs. Peavich says that although MT. Peavish can sleep like a log when little Pansy has the earache, he wakes up instantly when his bird dog whines at the back door.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

The United States will become a govern ment by strikes. Nor will American labor be led for long by European anarchists and Bolshevists, and l. w. w. agtators.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

The most valuable both sides of a contro- versy those able to see the others side
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

There is no sound reason to become discouraged over the outlook of this town. Our tremendous re- sources just about to begin development on big scale. insurng the employment of many men at good wages-( Anchorage Times.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, what is Prohibition ist?
 Paw-A prohibitionist is man who seems to get lot of enjoyment out of keeping others from enjoy ing themselves, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

It develops that only 5000 Conscientious ob iectors' discovered during the entire war; and there is to believe that than half of these objectionable than conscientious
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
The Wise Fool

The Wise Fool Happiness is the cheapest thing in the world" observed the Sage. Maybe" commented the Fool. But lots of rich men cant buy it,"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Some folks worry while others smile Farmers are made uneasy by the prophecy that there will be bumper grasshopper crop next summer, whereas trout evidently never looked up the home statistics on married life-(New York Telegraph)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Of course the rabbit has other troubles, but he isn't subject to ar rest for travelling without a tail light
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
BITS OF BY PLAY Dy Luke HcLuks
 n-g~s, -- & Copyright by Ciloi11au Enau1reI
Col!

Go! Here's a rhyme that is worth know ing; Do not be a quarrelsome clown; When your temper gets you going, Go away back and sit down.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
No Joke

Give ear to this," said Old Man
 Griff, I'm telling the truth, my broth
 CTS; think we'd all be perfect, if We'd use advice we give the oth
 CTS.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Mercy!

Young RoundeE surely gets our goats He gives his friends pain; Since he began to SOW wild oats, He's raised a lot of cain.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Notice

If your home is getting rusty look ing, you can always find A. Painter in Dresden, Ohio.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

One of the strangest things in this world is why every young mother imagines she will never need another baby buggy after the first one.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Mo Coptect

No Contest The bottle lost the fight My land! It is an empty wreck. It tried to fight the corkscrew, and It got it in the neck.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

What has become of the old-fash- toned gaudy civilian who got his distinction by dining with chorus girls?
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Tips from Texas
(Dallas News)

Sometimes a man spends so muci money foolish people agree that he's a fool.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Easy

Dear Luke: Women have no sec rets from you. So kindly explain what is meant by the following in the Nashville Tennessean. What were they buying?-(S. O. S. Louis vile, Ky)
 Mrs. Wilson shops with Queen
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Our experience in eating fried cat fish is that it smells that way partly on account of the garage grease it was cooked in.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Oh, Snoose!

And why have you never mar ried?" asked Miss Peach. Are you woman hater?"
 "Oh, my mol" replied MT. Old bach You see I hated to make about a thousand girls unhappy just to make one of them happy"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

Phone 1t to The Empire. No. 374.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Goodness Gracious

OoouheSS OrdctouS Let's go out to Norwood, Ohio, and hear Miss Anna Damen.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
-(Newark Advocate.)

He couldn't brag of Mothers bread,
 Nor of the things on Mothers table, But kicked about the pie. 'tis said.
 And did it again when he got Able. -(Wentzlerr (MO.) Union.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Oh Joy!

Of course they are scarce on the streets of the large cities. But what we started to say was that you can always C. Trees on the streets of Milwaukee, Ohio.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
Our Daily Special

We Are All Willing To Forget The Other Fellows Enemies.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11

He may have liked the things to eat That Eve prepared, but it is plain Domestic bliss was not complete, For both of them, I hear, raised
 Cain
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-02-11
In the First Family

In the First Family Old Eve was lucky. there's no doubt; 1; No matter what she'd try to make, Old Adam couldn't brag about The bread that Mother used to
 make.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04

they're worth forty thousand dollars
at the very leastw
"Mrs. Delario," I said soberly. ~
can give you only rough estimate, for
those stones are far beyond my range,
but in my honest opinion they are
worth at least million dollars"
Silence fell on us-my words had
sort of stunned US both; for until
had spoken them aloud the full mean.
ing of the diamonds hadn't come home
to me, and that l sat there, casually
holding a million dollars in my hand;
1t all at once seemed a solemn thing
to be doing-an immense responsible.
ity. dropped them back In their box,
put the lid on and handed them to her.
Her own first words showed the
timid woman. "And I've all this right
here In the house with mew
felt sorry for her. was gle.d J
| didn't have them In the house With
Inc. saw her apprehension when
her eyes roved over the room as II foi
a possible hiding place. When heI
eyes returned to the box she muttered
under her breath. "a million dollars
And / asked only little for Lila's
sake. What confidence they must have
had in me! A million dollars |" She
had evidently taken my word with i'm
plicit trust that l was right, though
was almost doubling It myself. My
thoughts were chasing one another
and the silence between us was such
you could have heard a pin drop. And
in that silence the front bell pealet
through the house.
Mrs. Delario's hands flew TO her bo
som as though she had been shot.
MY God-it's GOMEZ" she gasped
and the color left her face.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04
CHAPTER ~.
Mrs. pelarlo,s Diamonds.

To say was astonished when be-
held that neat row Of footgear with
three teeth knocked out simply doesn't
express 1t. / was flabbergasted. 1t
wasn't only the mysteriousness OF that
particular theft-if theft 1t were-and
why all three slippers had been taken
and not one slipper, or one pair; II
was that nothing so far as ! could OBJ
serve had been touched In the Hat but
Just the particular objects that the day
before had turned and toed the wall.
Now they had walked off and left me.
Well, the end of all my puzzling was
that had my choice between two ex'
plantations ~ that some person,
name, age and sex unknown, motive
impossible to guess. had entered my
fiat with duplicate key and stolen
the slippers; or (2) that Mrs. Delario
had worked a physical manifestation
TO get her slipper home and had taken
all three at once to be on the safe side.
One explanation seemed about as
possible as the other, for ! didn't see
how anyone could have duplicate
key--even the janitor does not have a
pass key to the flats In this house-and
didn't see how magic could carry on
three slippers. But whatever way l
put II ! had still the unpleasant task
of explaining the loss to Mrs. Delario.
l remembered she'd said when we were
buying them that they were more than
she could afford. but she just must
have them and would go without some
thing else. and was particularly mys
tilted because of 1t. II could In any
way have replaced the slipper I'd have
done so and never said word about II
Meantime l remembered that
hadn't communicated with Mrs. Della
rio since my return--though had the
slipper all that time. Then came
letter asking me would i do her
great very great fayor--would
come to her house that Sunday eve
Ming at eight o'clock? The letter ar
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04
JUST HOW THEY ORIGINATED
EnterprlsIno Chicago Newspaper Man
Has Traced Some Common Gus
toms to Their Source.

The common. custom Of shaking
hands. according to an encyclopedia
in which we have every confidence.
was introduced by the Phoenicians.
who signihed their agreement to
bargain by clasping hands.
The common custom of Offering
ones left arm to a lady originated In
days when one was required to keep
ones right hand on the hilt of a sword.
Which reminds us q
The common custom Of treating
dates from the days when a drink OF
whisky cost dime, and continued
more or less generally for many years.
The common custom OF making a
touch was initiated by a man who
and II has been practiced ever since.
The common custom Of winking
originated when the serpent began
to chat with Eve while Adam was do
ing the chores. and II still enjoys
considerable vogue at beaches and on
excursion boats.
The common custom of swearing
was invented when the first hammer
hit the first thumb. and II has been un-
dergoing constant Improvement ever
since.
The common custom OF swearing
of began the FIRST OF January of some
year. but II was never really enforced
until the first Of July. 1919.
The common custom OF going
away on vacation was inflicted upon
humanity to make mankind appreci-
ate Job and bathtub with plenty
OF hot water on tap.-Chicago Ameri-
can.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04
"Put It in your stocking
and run!"
(To BE coNTINUED.)
Making a Garden.

And because the breath Of flowers
is far sweeter In the air. where Il
comes and goes. like the warbling OF
music, than In the hand, therefore moth.
ing is more fit for that delight than to
know what be the flowers and plants
that do best perfume the air.
That which above all others yields the
sweetest smell In the air Is the vIo-
let; especially the white double violet
which comes twice year, about the
middle of April and about Bartholo
NEW tide. Then wall flowers
which are very delightful to be set un
der parlor or lower chamber win
dow; then pinks and gillifiowers, es
peciaily the matted pink and Glove gil
lifower; then the flowers of the lime
tree; then the honeysuckles, SO they
be somewhat far on. OF beauf0wera
/ speak not, because they are felc
flowers; but those which perfume the
air most delightfully."-. not passed BY
as the rest. but being trodden upor
and crushed. are three; that Is, burnet
wild thyme and water mInts. There
fore you are to set whole alleys oi
them. TO have the pleasure when you
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04

/ went, but i never once mentioned
the slippers-slippers were the last
things In my mind as rang the bell.
Mrs. Delario herself admitted me,
apologizing that her maid was away
for her Sunday evening out. and what
between welcoming handshakes and
Mrs. Delario's taking or my coat and
insisting on my taking Off my hat and
being comfy" and my declining, and
her leading me into the seance room
Claire had told me about, and my as
tonishment at seeing 1t, slippers didn't
occur to me and the chance to speak
of them went by.
my eve as 1t seemed to have been to
Claire's. think the impression upper.
most In my mind was the soundIess-
ness Of the place. 1t seemed as re
mote from the bustling life Of the
great city in the midst of which 1t was
as II 1t had been In the heart Of q
| desert.
But Mrs. Delario left me but little
time for observation; merely remark
ing that this was the seance room, she
asked II I'd seen Claire and what
thought Of her.
WE'LL thought great deal Of hel
and many things about her, and whil'
I was considering my answer Mrs
Delario propounded question tina
fairly stunned me: 'Do you think tn
4 pirI could he a tthief7"
"Oh, never--never in the world
What-Clalre! / cried hotly, and tn
picture of the high-bred girl came be
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1919-12-04
CHAPTER il-continued.

suppose I'll be set down as a per
feet fool, but actually turned sick all
over, and 1t required positive courage
on my part to pick up the slippers and
examine them. Which taught me moth
ing, Of course, and-I may as well
confess all my folly-I set them back
heel to the wall and actually sat there
and watched to see IL they'd turn
about Of their own accord. But moth
ing happened. and there they stayed,
heel to the wall, till morning.
That same evening, however, an
other thing happened that annoyed
though 1t didn't alarm me. / was
awakened about half past two by the
sound of a key in the front door
someone was trying to get In. /
bounced out of bed and looked to see
that the chain bolt was on-that was
all that worried me; for had neigh
Dor on a floor below who came home
frequently ut that hour Of the night
in so elated a condition that he never
stopped ascending stairs until he
reached the top, and as my fiat directly
corresponded with his on the lower
door he tried to get In with his key,
and sometimes threatened to smash
the door In II 'Mlnnie" didn't open It
SO hearing the familiar key now
fumbling, I looked at the chain-bolt
and then merely "hollered" through
the door my usual, you're trying tc
get In the wrong Hat-yours is down
stairs"
The key slid out Of the lock anc
there wasn't another sound. / stood
there shivering in my nlghtie, waiting
for the usual colloquy that would con
vince Mr.. Man wasn't his Minnie, bu'
as he didn't favor me with so much as
an oath of recognition, went back tf
bed after few moments and fel
asleep. 1t never entered my head tha
the person at the other end of thu
latchkey wasn't the high-spiritedN Mr.
Man that I knew and was prepared
for, but another Mr.. Man 1 didn'
know anything about. eek
went to sleep dreaming about slip
pers; l walked up to wonder abou
slippers. They were just as I'd lief
them-which gave me real disappoint
ment. I was out nearly all day, ant
when I came home my first look wal
to see II the slippers had been makini
any more manifestations"
ALL THREE SLIPPERS WERE
GONE.