The copper era and Morenci leader., 1919-12-19
CHRISTMAS
IS COMING

the unknown quantity of. gifts they'll
get. And some folks call it Yule-
tide. The tide comes in, but you'll
be out. Only ones that are really
in" on Christmas are the guys that
live up at Sing Sing.
Christmas is the glad season. Every
girls Pollyanna and every guys
Pollyandrew Holiday is supposed to
be merry for all of u.s. But Christmas
this year is only going to be merry
for the guys that did their Christmas
shopping early in June. Holiday
cheer for 1919 will depend on how
much Of it you've got in quart bottles
Night before Christmas THIS year not
a creature1l be stirring the holiday
punch-that's a safe bet. A green
Christmas no longer means Green
River Christmas. Only things Santa
Claus can bring into the country this
year are reindeer and rain water. And
the Christmas trees the only thing
that'Il be lit up.
the year and the. bills come the first
of the new year. That gives the old
man about a week to get ready for the
sad things. The real six-day race is
account between Christmas and the
first of the year Head of a modern
family does more swearing than
swearing off on New Years nowadays.
Trouble with 1919 Christmas is that
it brings the same old gifts, but some
brand new prices. Peace on earth
| good will to men" is all o. K But
you've gotta give good GIFTS TO wo-
men, Good will to women won't get
yu anywhere but in wrong. A 1919
| jane would rather have guy kiss her
over platinum lavalliere than under
a twig of mistletoe. The bird that
expects to collect kisses just because
there's an ounce of shrubbery on the
family chandelier has got another
guess coming. The boy that only
brings some mistletoe for Christmas
this year is going to get toe and
the missile in the order named.
Another fish that rates as a piker
is the guy that losses an engagement
ring for a Christmas gift That's
gyping the jane out of her usual Xmas
dividend-an engagement ring for a
Christmas present Killing two birds
with one stone may be all right in
the old mavims, but it amt in the
modern rules for frances. Two tricks
with one diamond amt according to
Hoyle or Tiffany.
Yes. indeed; Christmas comes but
once a year, but bills are little more
frequent than that. December 25th
is what makes January the busy sea-
son for the installment hounds This
year dollar may not go so far, but
it'll go twice as fast, And it ain t
only gifts that have gone up, but
grub.
Twenty years ago you could get a
dozen eggs for 20 cents. The 20 cts.
is for storage. Twenty years ago you
could get a swell waist for So. Today
you can still get one for So, but all it
is-a waste. A real swell casaque
today costs $40. You can see thru
it, but it's hard to understand the
price. Honestly, the only thing
that's gone down since 1900 is the
German fleet.
And speaking of Christmas cheer,
there's coal. No longer any differ
ence between black and white, lum 0
! of Goals as valuable as a lump of
sugar, and as scarce. Coal dealers
now sell coal on the Sugar Admins
trations schedule. And the grocer
sells sugar on the apothecary's scales.
Many a guy would rather have smoke
! going up his chimney this year than
Santa Claus coming down. Only one
ray of cheer as Christmas approaches.
/ Wise guys now claim oil makes good
/ fuel in place of coal. Can't say
whether they're right or wrong, but
we do know a lotta' oil STOCK that'll
make good fuel. We've got some.
One thing we wanta warn shoppers
against and that's useless giving. This
! is no season to give guy a silver
corkscrew any more than it is to pres
ent a girl with a red flannel night%e.
A girl today can keep warm without
that red stuff, just like guy today
has to keep warm without HIS red
stuff. There's nothing lust as good
for the male folks these days. One
half of 1 per cent is no happy medium
between nothing and 10 proof!
Mono, indeed; if a wise bird wants
to give girl something smart,
Georgette waist is just the thing. Rem
ember, the gift without the giver is