The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1919-02-21

hammer, Coldmashcr, Spoopendyke, |
Undcrwhiner, Overstuffer, Ransom
swagger, Poppypurple, Whipplewhap-
per, Brushbreaker, Scrublounger, Slab
slipper, Undercoffer, Uppercutter, Tip
perweine, Lostburger, Fellowsimp1e,
Smithwrinkler, Payuppermost, Rams
linger, Englewisher, Sidewhistler, etc.
The Hired Man has little curiosity
about him. The bible tells us that the
day will come in which the sea shall
give up its dead that are in it. My
curiosity makes me wish | could be
out where the Titanic went down, and
see all those dead folks come out and
start away for safety. OF course we
all know that they are not there to-
day, for it was only their bodies that
drowned. But to that spot they must
all return to get their new bodies.
There is little grave in canyon be-
tween Nyssa and Vale by which no
one has ever been able to drive a lamp
at night. I knew four fellows at
Nyssa who bet they could do it. The
lamp went out as usual When they
got to Vale one of the fellows shot
himself. He said he could not stand it
longer. He died Immediately. I wish
| knew about that grave. 1t was some
emigrant long ago. When that great
day does come and we are all being
awakened and assigned to the bodies
in which we will live for Eternity,
there is going to be lot of interest
shown.
What is double chin the sure sign
Of" I do not know. Allsigns fail in
dry weather The double chin ought
to grow smaller in dry territory There
are two kinds of double chins. One
kind is very desirable, for it indicates
poise and deliberation. If your double
chin is offensive to you. you know
you can slide it around a little by con-
tinually rubbing it gently the way you
want it to go.
II am about TO finish my schooling;
what is there for a man who is the
happy possessor of sheep-skin, is
there a job waiting?" There are
22,000O00 jobs in the United States
and 100000 PERSONS after them
That means that we will always have
a million persons looking for jobs
The jobs won't wait very long, it
seems to me. Its easy enough to get
a good job if you have fair job when
you apply for the other one If you
are out of job its hard to get good
one. Take any sort, and hustle About
all your schooling can do for you is
to give you hint about how to think
If it has accomplished that much. do
not complain, but set to work think
ing. A train of thoughts usually get
somewhere.
"What makes fellow throwup?"
He gets more material in his bread
basket than it can get along with. The
stomach has more brains than his
head, so the STOMACH does the next
best thing; it unloads. Throwing up
is very necessary accomplishment.
Do not blame the poor breadbasket
when it decides to disgorge. 1t is
doing the humane thing in most in
stances. The reason you get sick
when you are throwing up is because
most people cannot throw up without
getting sick 1t is simple message
to you that when you hog it again
you will have that same unpleasant
sensation when your stomach backs
up on your poor judgment.
"If burial expenses get very much
| higher, none but the rich can afford
to die Please write some on this sub
iect7" Well. Death never figures on
what his work is going to cost us.
In fact he does not care about the
price Of things He is told to do his
work and leave the rest to us 1t is
not the cost that makes us fight shy
of the ordeal, SO much as the dread
we all have of being forgotten, lust
10 sit and think that within week
after il is all over that but few will
remember our middle initial, is what
gets us to grieving, To think that
within year the waters will have
completely covered over us and our
memory to be n thing of the past, is
what makes you dodge the arrows as
long as you can. The ordeal of dying
is a simple matter and easy enough
but this being forgotten is the rub
4 o.
| "Where is the most illteracy in tho
United States?" In some Of the
southern states the soldiers who wen
into the war did not know Right from
J Left That is. one state had mON'
soldiers who had to be taught RICH
from Left before they could drill al
hour. These soldiers did not know
which was the right side of the roaC
they were travelling. did not know
which was the right hand or foot I
they saw sign to turn to the left
Al. 4 9 .hat . 80
they could not read the sign and i
some one read it for them, they woulC
not know which way to turn, II on,
of these young men got an eye hur
and was sending word to his mothe
about it, he would have no way o
telling her which eye got it. II he 60
a foot mashed. he would not be abb
to tell them which it was, and o
course they would not know il he di
tell them. Just think. one state sen
tL:rt,, tIAu.aaI snIJ,Nre l,tsn 3 fb,s