The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-09-18
HIS JINx AT WORK
Traveller Felt II When He Saw
Those Whiskers.
But That Didn't Prevent Him "FaIl>
ing" for Probably the Oldest "Suck-
err" Game in Existence, and
Then Kicking.

"Nice day :" said the stout man as he
lowered himself on the seat beside me
In the day car with parlor-car look.
Nice, / remarked just to humor
him, although / must say that | always
try to avoid a man who wears whisk-
ers. This man was wearing a No.
face fungus with ear flaps. / thought
at first of asking him if he had to take
out license for his face trimmings.
Bur, after all, felt that he had a kind
face-what l could see of lt-behind
the shrubbery, as It were.
"Are you Il commercial traveler?" he
asked, stroking his beard to starboard.
mo" l replied, but | once had a
fourth cousin who did seven years in
jail for another offense. That was the
only member of my family who stray
ed from the narrow path of virtue"
Lucky for you'll" he snapped out.
pushing his plantation in my face. ITS
a dogs life. Everywhere you go peo-
pie talk about the peace"
"Ah! ~ l interposed, there is a peace
on, then? | thought | saw something
about 1t in the press"
"Are you an American he raped
out, getting nasty.
Eyes" | said. Are you? Or do you
live in HOboken, n. j." felt |
would like to have struck match and
started a bush fire around the wooded
portion of his face.
81 see you have some cuts on your
face" he remarked.
"Yes. My tonsorial artist illustrate
ed me with some funny cuts"
"Ah" he slipped in. you should
shave yourself and you would never
have face like that"
/ should like to have told him that
his was no oil painting. Especially did
l hate his face mats. i detest man
who tries to look venerable by wearing
face mats. when underneath he may
have the chin of n criminal.
"Do you wear those germ traps on
purpose?' l asked curiously.
"Them's camouhage," he said. Just
to show what people look like when
they don't shave. l travel for Raxros
safety razors. $3.50 each and seeing
you're nice sort of boob | can do
you one for So Here is the last one
l have"
took IT, If 1t had been a scythe
should have had a harvest with his
beard.
Then fell to thinking Of his whisk
ers again. They were the most vile
whiskers I had ever seen. They stood
out at all angles from his face.
couldn't make up my mind whether I
should like him better with or with
out them. But l was quite prepared
TO get lawn mower and try.
Seeing you are a good business
man." he went on, "what about a nice
pipe lighter? | have "A really good line
at % cents each. Sorry / haven't got
one with me, but can send it. on. New
or fails, and always lights a pipe or
cigarette. In fact, II is one of the best
pipe lighters ever invented. Just give
me % cents and your address and |
Will send it along"
OF course fell. | handed him the
quarter and got ont mt the next station.
Some days later package arrived
at my villa. Here was the pipe lighter.
Breathlessly | opened the package,
eager to see the contrivance. 1t was
Yes, match. | gulped two mouthfuls
of fresh air and threw my cigarette I'm
the porrdge
And that is why. when | meet n man
with full set Of face mats, | always
say-(Oh no. you don't. Not here,
nj any rate-Editor.) Walter Stuart
Marsden in Pennsylvania Grit