The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1919-12-21
NEPTUNE'S DAY ABOARD THE j. S. S. IDAHO

and the use of intricate and marvel.
ousiy constructed electric switches pro.
duced results like unto the terrific
Hastings of the heavens which canopy
his mighty kingdom, taught the un.
ruly subjects how to yank their feet
into a merry clog, to the infinite
amusement Of the multitude and the
evident delight of the charming queen.
But these were events that happened
before the victims reached the barber
chair Arriving at that juncture Of
his journey, the offender encountered
savage, heartless wielder Of the
brush Of gold" On it was smearcd
the lather where man never cares
to shave again." He was generous In
his applications of the wonderful liquid
The brush dripping with the richness
OF the sticky cream Csoap and white
| flour mixed with molassesl would slap
the offenders twitching chops and
soon eyes, hair, nose and mouth would
! disappear, buried beneath snow.drift
/ Of whiskcr destroyer. The barber
shaved well but not long. Then the
! mystery chair receded. The prisoners
! back being towards the pool, he felt n
dizzy, falling sensation only exceeded
! by the surprise of the descending, re-
versal soinersault his carcass took be
fore it struck the salty brine. Splash
/ ing and gasping for air, he was seized
/ by the kings guards and tossed about
and ducked in the POOLS surging waves
untn he painted, "Be ye merciful unto
ale, landlubber."
! To escape All, there was the rub
/ lie was not in a New York theatre
with exits TO his choosing. lie had
/ but one a creased barrel; and, pity
/ the man too fat to hurry through it.
( for beside 1t stood two ferocious guards
faithful Neptune, each armed with q
strong board that did terrible eXecu
ton. Through this barrel each we
victim went and much pains did cacl
poor devil take TO rub the smoke off his
spanked pants when he emerged or
the other side,
Such is a short recital Of the natur'
Of the treatment the first ana every Of
fender, who have never crossed th'
Equator, receives.
Each case was intensely exciting bu
one or two are worthy Of special men
tion.
Some days before, one of the ships
most eminent and colored gentlemen
Ind voiced his utter disgust for TN
justice mcted ont in Father Neptune
court. His remarks about resisting ar
rest and such like were wen stored II
memory by those who had charge o
operating the various devices OF tor
ture. Physically he occupies a grca
deal Of space in this world. His gigan
tic body. with much fat hanging Owe
the rough places was only exceeded il
size by his beaming, Plstening smil
that swept from his lips in rollins
waves. to every part OF his body. III
bore the title Of being the officer
chief steward, or mess attendant; AM
many q time that smile rs ne de
scended the starboard ladder, mean
that he had just served the officer
with lemonade containing salt instead
of sugar. lie had spoke most hclittinH
ly Of the coming Neptune's day; and
truly, such remarks We're fittiugly r.
membered. The barrel through WhicI
all must pass when leaving the poe
was made just large enough that
good hard squeeze would be needed {
get his ebony body through IL. tn
paddle guards were given instruC
tions to do exceptionally great wor
in hurrylng him along on this part o
his splendid journey.
Well, the day arrived. The royal cop