The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-12-14

we have-(starts back, looking nerv- ous). An, I see. MT. McAdoo forgot something. Let me add the Plumb plan" CDrops three pluns and breaks another egg. Investor groans and tears his hair.)
 Hines (continuing>--Now we have it. cus-1s2o-presto" (takes up handkerchief. looks-starts back. rushes to McAdoo. saying) ~Hines--My God. Mac, I can't do the trick"
 McAdoo-'That's your affair--not mine."
 Investor-'My hat-my hat'-
 McAdoo-"Give him back his hatr'
 Hines-"But this mess-what will I dor.
 McAdoo-"oh, hand 1t back. He can't kick"
 Hines-'Here you ara. Eir." Glands hat to Investor, who takes 1t and yells:)
 Investor-"what 8 mess! Oh. my hat! can't use it. can't clean it. can't sell 1t. I can't give it away
 McAdoo and Hines-"rake 1t up to Congress. They'll fir it for you" (Botth link arms, bow and go off)
 Investor-'Mr. President Is 1t true that ladies are always present at Grid iron Club dinners? Then I'll wait until I get outside before I say anything more"
 The labor problem and its relation to politics got a brief touch" in skit wherein a policeman disturbed the ban queters. entering with raving maniac.
 Who's her was demanded.
 Well" replied the policeman, "it seems that few days ago he was waited on by the managers of his polit- ical party and informed that he's been selected to write the labor plank In the next years platform"
 # # #
 There was another labor skit de- scribed as the lone hundred and twen- ty-seventh installment of the Contin- uous Comedy Drama
 One actor who acknowledged that he was made up to look like Judge Gary of the United States Steel corporation. said he had troubles remembering his lines and was admonished not ito run up to New York for instructions every time he forgot them.
 Another. called Lentrotski. announced that he was the "sole surviving mem Der of the International Labor Confer ence," and told the diners that his col leagues had been -asphyxiated by the United States senate-'
 He said he used both the names of ScHtrotShA ana W. A. rVSbo4 AA HiS business"
 Finally, the director of the skit an- nounced that it was rotten" and that 1t would be done all over again, where upon the actors struck and announced that they worked ''only three hours day. and .'knew their rights
 Life is one damn strike after the other.- groaned tho director.
 # x x
 The coal crisis came in for separate treatment in skit dealing with Utopia" The Coal King. the Land lord. the Butcher. the Baker, the Gro cer and other functionaries of every day life all had prominent parts through which they bewailed the pros pect of no greater profits.
 The Coal King sang that his idea of the greatest fun was -high-priced coal and short weight tom
 The Capitalist said his idea of Utopia was "a place where there is neither in- come nor excess profits taxes and you can charge twenty per cent interest" He walled that its got 50 a billion aire can't lay up dollar any more.~
 When the walking delegate entered he was invited to "come over and meet Judge Anderson of Indianapolis, but the delegate protested that he twas busy.
 The King of Utopia advised them all to go back ito the good old U. S. A.. play the game square and find Utopia right at home"
 The walking delegate allowed that the place wasn't Utopia after all, but rather was "HelLs
 * * % Some singing to popular airs with words arranged for the occasion com pleted the evening. It included lit- tie song for Vice President Marshall to the tune of Bubbles" with the re- Train:
 I'm forever facing troubles,
 But they never get my goat