Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-06-11

their present talking gaits they will both be
winded by the date of the match.
Government agents have uncovered a con-
spiraey in army circles by which Uncle Sam
was defrauded of millions through bogus ma
terial contracts during the rush of war prep
arations. II this is the only piece of crooked
work that pulled on we still have reason
to be thankful that we live among the most
honest people earth, for 1t was not to be
expected that somebody wouldn't yield to
temptation during the scramble when it was
so easy to pick some dirty dollars. In the Eu-
ropean countries engaged in the war there was
graft on all sides. 1t was impossible to stop
it. Permitting this traffic was the only means
those countries had of getting desired results
Pretty Soft one OF the latest bedroom
dramas to be offered in New York, has quit be-
cause of poor patronage, The critics said it
was too tough even for Gotham Verify the
world Exchanging.
The government has purchased 10000
alarm clocks for the army. 1t Is not surpris-
ing that our soldiers would be tempted TO over
sleep mornings after what they have been
through in the past two years.
large underwear factory is TO be built in
Manila It is not expected that much business
will be done among the Igorrotes. however.
Mr.. Wade the teAmster. who was chastised
by Thor Norberg the other day because the
former was mistreating his team OF mules, has
800 to wager than he can best the local music
dealer in a rough and tumble scrap. The chaI-
lenge has not been answered. Here is an OPP
portunity for some enterprising promoter. One
thing is sure-if these two men could be got
together in the squared circle the audience
would get its moneys worth. There would be
no question that the battle would be for blood.
Mayor Schriver declared that he walked
900 miles the day the local boys reached Chi
aago from overseas. If you ever tried to keep
up with hizzoner when he is under steam you
will believe this statement.
The government once more has made the
discovery that the big packers are in COM
bination to control food prices. If govern
ment agents persist in their Investigations in
time they will actually convince US that the
packers ARE working together.
1t is said that all the former kaiser owns
is on his back He's lucky that instead of
suit he isn't wearing wooden blanket.
President Fred Mitchell of the Chicago Cubs
runs an advertisement in the newspapers in
viting the ladies to attend the Friday games as
guests of the management, the war tax being
the only expense they will be obliged to bear.
Mitchell should have gone all the way. He'll
never make a hit with a woman with such
short sporting tactics.
A H. Woods. known as the most daring
American producer when it comes to staging
risque plays. Is weakening. He recently &C
copied the manuscript of I'm Bettys Bed" He
has changed the title to "Oh, George, Forgive
me-
NJ c. F.: Thanks for the copy of the Dublin
Jewish Gazette You thought we couldn't read
it. Fooled you. Stood on our head with our
back against the wall. Very easy.
William Randolph Hearst is feminist the
administration because it has reversed itself
on governmental ownership of public utilities
Hearst accordingly has opened his newspaper
batteries on the president If he keeps up the
good work he may aid in forcing Mr.. Wilson to
stand for a third term. a favor that would be
duly appreciated by the American people.
Frank Akers and Miss Ethel Bonebrake
have been married at Greensburg, Ind. Great
pains. it is said were taken to make it an elab-
crate affair.
Frank A. vanderlip has quit his Job as
president of one of New York's biggest banks
The statement he gave out sounds between the
lines as if he had been sitting to an ex-
plosion.
rs a corn funny?" inquiries Percy Ham
mond, the Chicago Tribune dramatic critic. If
he ever had one he wouldn't ask such foolish
question.
Tip to hunters: Rabbits in Loveland Calf
have sleeping sickness.
Down in Virginia there is pet dog thaa has
been taught to stand on mis- hind legs when the
country is going to the bow-wows. however.