davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
II AM DISGUSTED WITH BENZINE
nIrf.lNII.s. >. CHI.


1t was a lovely day in Delhi last
Wednesday and. as P. Silas Petit
bone, the tonsorial artist, sped along
in his automobile, he let his thoughts
wander from razors to women.
Mr.. Pettibone was lonely. There he
was driving a nice car with plenty OF
money in his pocket, but no gentle
one by his side to admonish him to
look out where he was going when he
almost hit a dog in the road. No
wonder 1t was then, when he saw
Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the noted
poetess, walking along Goldenrod ave-
nue. that he brought his car to stop
and invited her to take a spin. Well
say it wasn't.
Miss Doolittle stood for a moment
thinking She wanted the ride but
she feared another proposal of mar
riage from Mr.. Pettibone. Already
according to Dame Rumor. she had
turned him down three times and
(pardon, pleaseD she did not care to
celebrate the fourth.
Better take a ride, Ellie. 1t will
put roses in your cheeks"
1t sounded so poetical and the slen-
der girl, being such a poetess. APP
preeiated it. SO she leaped into the
car.
The ride was delightful Chickens
squawked and the cooling breezes
famed their brows--those of the man
and the girl, of course. 1t is not
strange, therefore, that Miss Doc
little was inspired with an idea for a
poem. AS the car sped along she
wrote on her pad-of paper, we mean
1t took her but a moment, for Miss
Doolittle always has been fast
worker. This is the poem she read to
Mr.. Pettbone:
| love to ride in an auto,
1t is, indeed, treat,
Like some fairy grotto,
Making enjoyment complete,
Over the hills we speed along,
The birds are singing gaily,
Otter we skid little bit,
But my courage does not fail me.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
ELLABELLE MAE DOOLTTTI F
BY Bide Dudley.

Ny sisters child, Tenney Ricketts,.
Popped hot biscuit into her
mouth,
On, Tenney, you were so funny,
1t cured me of my crouch.
But, getting back to auto riding,
l am thankful for each mile,
l love the way you drive, p. Silas
But your finger nails you must file,
Mr.. Pettibone said the rhyme was
truly exotic. Miss Doolittle politely
refrained from investigating to see il
he knew the meaning of the word, but
she suspected he got it off hair tonic
bottle.
You must read that to the ladies
of the Women's Betterment League"
said Mr.. Pettibone.
"As you say, my brave chauffeur!"
responded the girl with a little laugh
that spoke happiness as it passed over
each tooth.
And then 1t happened.
WHAT" you ask.
Why, the car broke down Some
thing went wrong in the engine and
the auto gave a whee2e and went on
strike. Tinker as he would, not a
wheel would turn. Half an hour later
Miss Doolittle wrote another poem.
1t follows:
I
Amt it awful when your auto,
The one you thought so dear,
Breaks down and will not go at all ?
It's worse than 2.75 per cent beer.
I'll never take another auto ride,
They break down and make me hot,
They beauty of the automobile
To me it all rot.
My father, Peter p. Doolittlc.
But his tongue last night
lie was biting the baby's lolly-pop,
l guess it serves him right.
But let us return to the auto,
am disguised with benzine buggies,
I'll bet, by gosh, I let them alone,
This one has got me feeling ugly.
Two hours later passing team of
mules hauled the auto back to town.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
TODAY's EVENTS

Annual observance OF Labor Sun
day.
The Emperor Yoshihito of Japan is
40 years old today.
Wheeling, w. Va, today begins a
weeks celebration Of the 150th ami
versary of its settlement.
Two hundred delegates are expect
ed at Scranton today for the annual
convention of Young Mems Hebrew
association of Pennsylvania.
The North Dakota State Federation
of Labor has called convention to
meet today at Fargo to organize a
state labor party, to work in conjunc-
ton with the non-partisan league.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
A NEW USE FOR PIGEONS.

The fishing authorities at the Fish
Pier have Just obtained a large NUM-
Der of carrier pigeons recently dis
posed Of by the war department. They
are to be used on fishing boats. BY
means of them captains of fishing ves-
sells can communicate with the Fish
Pier without leaving the fishing
grounds.
The carrier pigeons also should be
protection to smaller fish boats in
case of danger, a protection which the
high cost of maintaining wireless APP
paratus on board has heretofore rend-
cred impossible.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
HE TOLD THE WIFE THIS.
Detroit News.

Memphis--Some folks wouldn't kick
If they found themselves in the pre-
dicament of Samuel Waddell, custo
dian of the Federal building, the other
day, He bad some work to do in the
vault where confiscated liquor Is
stored. A deputy sheriff unlocked the
door and after he had entered locked
it again. Then he went home and
forgot Waddell, He succeeded in at
tracing the notice of passing boy
and was released. AT least that's what
he told his wife.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
WHERE WE SHOULD NOT
"BUTT IN"
New York Herald.

Why the American delegates at the
peace conference should intervene in
a settlement of territory in which the
United States has no concern, should
oppose their views to the unanimous
judgment of all the allies and should
advocate what amounts to aiding a
co-partner of the Germans in the war
is a mystery. But it is not too late
to remedy the injustice contemplated
in their proposal to award Thrace to
the Bulgarians.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
Today's Birthdays.

Emperor Yoshihito of Japan, who
joined the entente allies in the war
on Germany born 40 years ago today.
Queen Wilhelmina of the Neither
lands, the only woman now occupying
a European throne, born 80 years ago
today.
DR.. Joseph A. Blake, who served as
chief surgeon of the American Red
Cross hospital in Paris. born in San
Francisco, SIS years ago today.
James e. Ferguson. former gov
ernor of Texas, born in Bell county,
Texas As years ago today.
Mrs. Harold F. Mccormick. daugh-
ter of John d. Rockefeller. born in
Cleveland, AZ years ago today.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
MORE PRODUCTION ONLY CURE.


Whatever criticism may be directed
against Premier Lloyd Georges speech
in the house of commons, his plea for
increased production cannot be as
sailed. 1t was addressed to the British
people, but the whole world stands in
need of the same admonition. The
problem of the high cost of living is
universal. America no more than
Europe can escape it by any quick
and easy solution. Only by settling
down in solemn earnest to hard work
can we hope to repair the enormous
wastage of war and restore the normal
conditions of pace and plenty.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
OFFICERS DAY.

Whatever the strength of the reg
ular army shall be. the service will
not attract unless officers can live on
their pay. The present schedule is
warning to keep out of the army.
Several proposals are before congress
to relieve tense condition that Is
undermining morale, greatly to the
satisfaction of the enemies of the state
and society. Delay in legislation to
advance the pay of officers of the
army and navy would be unjust and
without excuse.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
NO DIEF1CuLTY THERE

"But suppose" said one of the
spectators on the common, that the
parachute should fail to open after
you had jumped off-what theng"
THAT wouldn't stop me-" answered
the parachutist. I'D come rlght
down l."
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
BRINGING MExICo TO TIME.

Armed intervention is an alterna-
tive that can wait while. There
are other means of bringing the Mexi-
cans to Their senses, and they should
be tried. There is the punitive ex-
petition for outrages committed upon
Americans. IL President Carranza
cannot suppress brigandage on the
border, ii he cannot protect our peo-
Pile III the Tampico region. It, can be
done in thorough fashion by american
soldiers and marines. A few such les
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
WHAT THE RAILROADS NEED.


What the railroads of the United
States need today IS what every other
worker and consumer needs--not1
more steeple climbing to an unescap-.
able pitch off. but a sane. balanced.
journey back to stable landing place,
where dollar of honest service or.
of honest exchange will be worth an
honest dollar that will be worth one
Hundred honest cents in buying
power,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
ABOUT As SENSIBLE.

NEW 1OTk IIETdIU, n
According to the latest indications
the agricultural committee of the
house of representatives will recon-
mend that authority be given to the
president to fix a fair price for all
commodities" Why not incidentally
authorize the chief executive to work
for twenty-six hours a day?
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
GOVERNMENT DAM is NAMED
aWHySON DAM

The great government dam across
the Tennessee river at Muscle Shoals,
Alabama, has been named wilson
Dam" in honor of President Wilson.
An announcement by the war depart
,ment said the name had been selected
by Secretary Baker.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
AS USUAL.
Utica Observer.

The author of the Plumb plan for
the seizure of railroads and turning
them over to the control of the
brotherhoods, now pulls off some of
the old stuff by claiming that Wall
Street is plotting to retain the roads
in private ownership. Private capital
built the roads; why not own them?
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
TT WAS BUSINESS,
VIE TIN n
natroit Eree Press

Detroit Free Press.
"I asked the boss for an increase
in salary. Told him couldn't i've on
the sum / was getting"
What did he say?"
"Told me it was business. not a
life saving institution, he was run
ming"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

room musicals and ordered him from
the house. 1t was Admiral Sir Berke-
ley Milne of the then Prince of Wales
household, who had ben brought to
the concert by Consuelo, Duchess of
Manchester. The admiral hadn't an
invitation and that settled it.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

Amarillo business men had the
nerve to make trade hunting eXcur-
sion into New Mexico towns to take
business away from Albuquerque,
while she may have been asleep at
the switch. Now FL Paso dealers are
organizing an auto tour TO call on
towns of eastern New Mexico. Wake
up, Albuquerque!
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
ono Year Ago Today in the War.

British captured Mt. KENNEL
southwest of Ypres.
French crossed the Canal du Nord,
in the Solnme region.
AlteTapt 70 assassinate Nicholas
Lnine. Eolshevik premier
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
MORE CORRECT DESCRIPTION

Cincinnati Enquirer.
your husband denies it" said the
doctor, "but isn't it true that he
smokes between meals?"
NO" replied the patients wife. HE
eats between smokes"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

Four small electric fans that sur
round a pedestal. any of which can De
operated Independently or all OF them
together, are the idea of South pa
kota inventor.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
AcNNoWTEDGE TnE GOOD.
George Macdonald.

1eOTSe lMdSioiaiu.
) do not think that the road to con,
tentment lies is despising what we
have not got. Let us acknowledge all
good all delight that the world holds
and be content without II.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
chow ABSOLUTE THE KNAvE IS

William Waldorf Aston. worth over
800, 100000. forced into seclusion by
his resentment of the heavy British
income tax, is an impetuous man. He
met stranger at one of his drawing
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
KIPLING AS A POET.
New York Tribune.

Happiest, no doubt. are such az
calmly ignore and captious critic, who,
If he can't start something, will quick
ly subside. The battered and almost
unacceptable form of Mr.. Brownell
having been rescued from the scene
of controversy by the fathful-'Agnes, y
the foolhardy detractor of the author
of "Dinny Deeyer," is now getting
his" Is .Kipling poet? You are
either a Kipling fan or you're not, and
If you are the question is immaterial.
Emerson said Napoleon captured the
imagination of the world because at
heart all men are little Napoleons.
And SO at heart men are as Kiplins
knows them. They are as he says
they are in 1.-THE Feet of the Young
Men" They understand the scene in
Fultah Fishers boarding house and
the passions that famed with the
flashing knives in the fight for
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

sons, and there would be order on the
Mexican side of the border and peace
along the coastal no great cost, too.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

A plan for draining the Auyder zee
in Holland contemplates the puildlhg
of an embankment 1872 miles IN length
and work that will require thirty
three years to complete.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

showing famous Texas Million-Dollar
Triangle Burkburnett Iowa Park and Pc
trola; and our monthly Bulletin, containing
late oil news. mailed FREE upon request.
Write today,
II. Is. RICHARDSON
toas 18th Street Denver. Colorado
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

A recently patented hanger Tor
moth-proof clothing bags also seas
them securely.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

Two ovens of the usual kind and
third on the fireless cooker principle
feature a new gas range.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

In connection with an Oregon in
ventor's fireplace are ducts through
which cold air is drawn around
metal drum and smoke pipe. heated
and returned to room.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

Swedish iron ore deposits have been
estimated by experts to contain $780,
100000 tons,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
NEWS NOTES OF SCIENCE.

A California man has invented
poultry feeder which is operated by
an alarm clock which lat set times,
opens doors and permits gain to fail
into a trough.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31
1.-THE main Altruda's charm
The little silver crucifix
That keeps a man from harm"

They love to ride in the raw, rough
dun" with it's mouth of bell and the
heart of hail." and do. Is Kipling a
poet? Ask any man who has sighed
to think that there amt no buses
runnin' from the bank to Mandalay"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1919-08-31

To meet a COAL shortage the gas
works of one Swedish city is distilling
wood, peat and pine burrs and mixing
the gas so obtained with coal gas and
water gas
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02

Of the family devised the following
scheme, which worked so admirably
that II was speedily copied BY other
friends with slanting clothes-closet
seiiihss.
F'6f s5 cents blacksmith furnished
ana bent an iron rod which had
hanging space Of Elk feet. 1t was the
ends Of this rod which we're unique.
For four inches they followed the cell
ins slope, then they bent outward and
downward for about four inches At an
angie Of about sixty degrees. Then the
rod haHsihs-spaee OF six feet connect
cd the two ehds and ran parallel to
the ceiling and at right angles to the
juttlng-out ends,
Little steel straps fastened the rod
10 the ceiling and were screwed in
place. Tiny blocks OF wood we're
trimmed out with a jack-knife and
driven under the rod mex, 10 the
straps holding the ends tightly In
place.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02

general health, but in your disposi-
ton and appearance.
Every once in a while, stop and let
got Relax those strained nerves! II
may be only for a moment, but 1t will
accomplish wonders. If you are walk
ling along a hot, crowded street, just
pause a fnoment--not physically, per-
haps, but mentally. Smooth out those
efeases In your forehead, relax the
strained corners of your mouth, lower
your eyebrows, and let the lids drop
d moment. There, don't you feel diff
fereht? And IL you could only appre-
eiate the difference In your appear
afieei
II your work requires that you cit
at a desk or a typewriter. take a few
seconds several times day for the
complete relaxation Of your tired
nerves and muscles. Lift your eyes
from your work. take few deep
breaths, close your eyes and allow
yourself to become quite limp. Revel
in nothingness for just moment. and
you will be surprised how rejuvenated
you will feel when you return to your
task again. Practice the art of relax
alton, Il is an invaluable aid to health
and beauty.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02

TT is a fact of common knowledge
4 that the finest instruments are
those which get out of tune the
easiest. IT ls the delicate q string
OF the violin which snaps the most ffe-
quentiy and gives the musician the
greatest concern 1t is because OF this
that when they are not IN use. the
tension is relieved on all striheed In
struments. In order that the purity or
tone may be preserved.
II people, women IN particular,
would only learn TO apply this prinei-
pie by which musicians safeguard
their Instruments, a large humber OF
nervous bfeaksdowns and serious HI
hesses would be avoided. The deli
cate nerves Of the human organism
are much more senitive than the E
string OF a violin. yet they receive far
less consideration. They are kept at
concert pitch all the time, instead of
Just that portion of the time when they
are actually In use. Learn TO relieve
the tension on your tired nerves oc-
rasIonally. and see what a difference
it makes. not only In the state Of your
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02

Five years ago took our garden
hose that was said to be worn out and
mended itso well that am still using
it. Take heavy. stout twine and tie
ii tight around the hose an inch be-
yohd the place TO be fhended. Allow
enough OF the short END 30 that II
may lie clear across the worn place
and beyond. Then with the long end
wrap hfmly around the hose and over
the short end Of twife. Gohtin6e
Wrapping row aftef row. tight and
close. until the whole worn place is
covered. Then tie the two ends to-
gether In hard knot. II the hole is
In such shape that II can not be
pressed close together before wrap
ping take a piece OF canvas or bicycle
tape and cover the hole, then wrap as
directed. Success depends upon both
tight and close wrapping.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02
Treatment Of Piano

Ut is really a shame to see how
some beautiful instruments are
4 subjected TO almost barbarous
treatment. at the hands Of those who
think piano one Of those convenient
household pets which stay put and re-
quire no further attention. A piano Is
as sensitive as canary and requires
just as much thought and care In or
der to make it bling forth pure notes.
In the first place piano should be
placed where 1t viii mot be subject to
dampness: no outside brick walls, no
open windows where a sudden shower
might ruin It. OF course. the grand
piano may be placed eornerwise well
to the center OF a room, and ls at its
best that way. but usually a hat wall
Il the best place for the upright piano.
Sometimes the upright piano can be
placed al angles TO wall. and its
back covered with a thin tapestry TO
form the back OF a low seat but this
is not to be generally advised. as 1t
is apt to look awkward and prove SO
for comfort
Never let piano stand open over
night. A piece of camphor placed in
side the works will absorb moisture
and help to keep moth out of the felt.
II a piano is over carpeted floor. IN
sect powder blown under it will keep
the moth away from a favorite breed
ing place.
Have an expert look over your pi-
ano at stated intervals as you' woul-
have a dentist look over your teeth.
Never let piano get so run down that
scales are absolutely painful to the
ear. At the seashore this may hap
pen overnight. Utmost precautions
should be taken to protect the mech
anism from damp. A rubber cover
often helps. especially when the house
is closed between seasons.
use dampened chamois occasional
ly for polishing your plano. and a
good fufnitpre polish for extra rub
ups. when children practice al an
upright piano provide small stool IL
thelr feet do not reach the pedals so
thst they viii not klek and scratch
the wood at the bottom. A felt curtain
hung over the pedals will answer
where children are older. Make II an
law that the plano Is never
to be touched before washing the
hands. This will do q lot TO keep the
keys presentable for the visitor who
plays. To clean piano keys use a
eiotn dampened with alcohol.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02
A Closet Convenience

~ HERE were two closets In my
home with sloping ceilings.
One was built under a stairway
and the other under slanting roof
Both of these had goodly Hoof space,
but disappointing aiiaotiiit of room
for hanging clothes. The regulation
hanger could not be placed hatwise
against the wall, and then all Of the
articles had to be removed from the
hook before the Fight one could be
taken down. At last the gfowh-up boy
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1919-08-02
PME KN0T PHILOSOPHY
BY & Il FRtsBEE
THE POINT on VIEW.
ES: It pretty much all depends
v upon the point OF view.


" upon the point OF view.
Life is hard or easy. not by
reason of. the physical conditions sur.
rounding life. but by reason OF the
manner In which those conditions ar'
viewed. H gH~r7 'ffas' tEwls'tfAHt
The law OF average maintains fail
degree OF equahimity In the distribu.
ton OF things good and bad.
The man whose lot apparently is
easy meets with about as many OBJ
staeles, dlscouragements and failures
as the one whose lot appears habituai-
iy'hard.
The manner in which these OBJ
s.tacles. Acknowledgements and failures
are met, and their effect upon the In
dividual, depends upon the point Of
view.
Ny state is among those which have
recently been added TO the "dry" col
unan.
The law is most drastic. The man
who drinks, as well as the man who
sells, Is punishable under the law. One
step more and it will be a crime to
appear lii public with the odor Of whis-
ky on the BREATH
Yesterday, heard two ladies dis
eussihg the situation.
One was ali JOY. She rejoiced that
her husband could no longer secure
the booze which had been the bane of
her life. Now, she and her children
would benefit from wages which form
eriy had gone for drink.
The other was downcast.
Il don't know what will do" enc
said, "now that Bob can't get his
whisky. when he was drinking, he
was always downtswn with his
friends. and never bothered about the
house. Now, since he can't get
liquor. he is always lying around in
the way"
The conditions were identical. but
how vastly different the points of
view!
And IT'S so OF all conditions. life
depends entirely upon the manner in
which we view 1t.