Arizona republican., 1919-05-15
MODERN HORSE TRADERS

We have undertaken Q dicller with Neighbor Hart by means of which we propose to trade our excellent patch of wheat for his tumble down automo- bile. Now, what We know about wheat you could put in a oanary's brain and still have room to drive in with a team of horses; and what our venerable neighbor knows about automobiles you could hang on a gnats eyebrow without impeding his vision. We might say, by way of explanation, that the automobile was formerly the prop erty of our neighbours son, and since his enlistment more than a year ago, it has been standing in his fathers corral, untouched except by the un- gentle elements.
 But heres how we carry on our dicker.
 We: 'Neighbor, how do you say we trade? You give me that old auto and I'll let you take my wheat, with the understanding that you take charge Of the wheat right now-finish irri- gating, harvesting. and all?"
 He: "Well, I dunno. I ain't much on these here automobiles, m I dunno what that there one is worth. Pears to me, though. she's worth a plenty
 We: "Oh, she's not worth a whole lot"
 He: "Mebbe not; mebbe not. But that ain't an extra good stand Of wheat either"
 We: "WeIl. as to the wheat, I'm not such a good hand at judging it They tell me that it's going to be a big yield. And as for the car-needs q new battery, the radiators shot tC pieces, and new rubber all around
 He: Yeah? I dunno. l was look ing at that wheat 'tother day. anC looks just a lettle like it might bt rustin' here n there" We: 'Aw, rust won't hurt that wheat like it will the mechanism ot this car. This cars been standing out here for year, and you can't tell what ! sort of kinks she's got in her unti ] you crank her up.'
 ! He: Course, as I say, 1 couldn' ] tell you a thing about cars. But i went fine when the boy went into tn, 1 service, and she hasn't been run al 1 inch since then, just a-standin' her, | day in an day out. I ain't said noth ing about it, but you might lose al that wheat by smut killin' it."
 We: Yeah? An how do I knoy 1 the gears on this car aren't all stripped ! The differential may be all outawhacB and all that
 He: An there pears to be som ! question about what they're goin' [ pay for wheat this year. An if there no market for it, I'll have to feed i to the chickens"
 We: Well, cars are going to com down now pretty quick, and I KNOY right now that raft of chickens" wi gobble up this car if 1 get it. So yo haven't got anything on me there"
 He: An it'll cost something t harvest the wheat"
 We: 'Look-this fender is brok and the upholstering is all torn up."
 He: "Then I got to haul the stu1 to the mill"
 We: "The paints all wore off and will have to be entirely repainted." He: And when l do get it to tn mill I'll have to take what they giv me for it"
 We; Gee! How did this carbu retor get cracked?"
 He: Don't ask me nothing abov that car. 1 don't know anything abou
 it. All in all, I'm not hankering { trade, so I guess I'll sleep on you
 offer for a while and ask Molly an see what she says about if. Then [ let you know"
 We: "Well. I got another car c the string and I'll see which one liE the best. See you tomorrow" We and He Cto ourselves): Cos , I'd just as soon make that trade he'd only be half way reasonab
 about it."