New-York tribune., 1919-07-10
AIRSHIPS
BY OUR OWN Mr.. DOoLEY

81 see by tn pa-apers," said Mr.. Hen
nessey, "that they're goin to sta-art to-
night"
"Sta-a what?" asked Mr. Doolcy.
9TH airship," said Mr.. Hennessey
"They're goin' back"
"Lave thin CO." said Mr.. Dooley. otis
all wan to me- Th' airship goes up, and it
comes down agin; but tn price iv milk
an ice an cookin' butther an earned beef
an / dinnaw what tn divvle all wint up
fr altytood tin years ago an has been
there iver since, soorin', as Hogan says,
like bird iv tn Wilderness
"An' tits aisy enough t. understand, if
ye put yer min to it. l lose sivinty-five
cints shakin' dice with Schwarzmeister iv
tn Lberthy Goody Shop, formerly tn
Braunschweiger Dclicatessen Verein This
l says to mesilf, will niver do. So l raise
tn price iv tn turr'blc two-svinty-five per
clint amber liquid l dispinse to tin cints
glass, an people 60 payin' it. Me land
loord comes in FIR dhrink He puts
down jitney. Wan more,' l says. What
fer?' he says. 'Th' high price iv labor,
l says, AN ice,' I says, AN glassware, l
says. we've no idee,' I says, what thin
cillulide aper-cutthers l shave off tn
collar with is costin' nowadays l says So
he gives me another nickel. Th' first iv
August I get a letther firm him tellin' me
that 'owin' to tn high cost iv labor an
matheryal an ilecoth, we regret tn rint
firm now on an incloosve as th' case may
be will be sixty-two fifty a month instid
iv forty-fve. P. S. Answer be tillygraft,
prepaid, and take all tn time ye want be-
fOor tin o'clock tomorrah mornin' an
oblige. An do l stan fr such tyranny?
/ do. pay tn advance. 'Th' landlords
maxim too much money says to mesilf
An whin he comes In agin l tell him that
OWN to tn scarcity iv spa-ark ploogs,
tn delivery thrucks Is havin' throuble. so
tn beer is fifteen cints a glass. An he
pays it.
can so it goes. 'Shartage iv flats says
tn pa-aper 'Profteerin' landlords a dis
grace it says. There ought to be law
it says. 'Hangin' is too good FIR thim it
says 1 don't see it, I don't that Sup
pose tn landlord doesn't raise tn rint iv
his flats. He comes home wan evenin'.
It's turr'ble,' says his wife. It's even
hotter down town. he says. 1T amt tn
heat, she says. It's tn cost iv liyin'.
Milk is up, an ice is up, an tn flower
decorations f'r tn table cost three dollars
an they barely hide tn guests faces at
that, an Hida won't stay unless she gets
fifty-five a month, an tn pearl necklace We
promised me last week might be gone to-
morrah I'm doin' tn best cam he saws.
I don't know why you let Everybody i'm
pose on We So she says. It's too soft
hearted y'are, ye big simp.' An th' mex
day he dictates tn letther raisin' tn rints.
An, as tn Kaiser used to say, wan thing
leads to another, an tn prices go up all
aroun,' an if ye can only keep in some
game yerself where tn boostin is good I
don't see that it matthers.
AN thin airshps, says ye? l stopped
gettin' excited about thin things whin
Walther Wilman quit. Over tn ocean in
foor days, says ye. Does it rayjooce my
rint? 1t does not. Ye can tillyphone firm
Detrite to Seattle, an it goes like this:
Hello says Seattle. 4 can't hear ye,'
says Detrite. What? says Seattle. L say
can't hear ye,' says Detritc. Yes, she's
pretty WE'LL says Seattle. 'What?' says
Detrite. Il say she's better says Seattle.
About thin tin thousand autymobiles,'
says Detrite. 'What?' says Seattle. oh.
we'll write ye about it, says Detrite.
About what?' says Seattle. 'Th' autymo-
biles,' says Detrite. can't hear ye,' saws
Seattle, why don't ye write to me?'
mo, Hinnissey tn wondhers iv science
is grn-and fr tn front page, but tn moro
iv thin we have tn higher tn milk goes"
WELL" said Mr.. Hennessey, "some wan
has to pay f'r all that gasolene thin air
ships uses"
Il hope it1l be my landloord," said Mr..
ooo4sT. +. P. A.