davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
A Dark Vision.

A certain colored private by name
of Rastus was brought before his G.
o. intoxicated, and after regular
army tongue-lashing, for a few min
utes the G. o. fixed his icy stare upon
the unfortunate and asked:
"Rastus, what in the name of pigeon
toed possums were you thinking OF
when you went and got drunk like
this?''
Rastus rolled his bloodshot eyes I'M
easily toward the G. o. and through
swollen lips came the sullen reply
'"First Of July, sab !''-Musician FL. A.
Trimm in Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
One Was Happy Either way.

A minister, meeting parishioner OF
his who had been quite recently mar
ried, and about whose domestic hap
piness terrible stories were rife, salut-
ed him and said:
swell. John, and how is all going
ONT"
"Oh. happy enough" returned John.
I'm glad to hear it. You know,
there were rumors of rows or
Rows" said John. "Oh, yes, there
are plenty Of rows; whenever she sees
me she catches the first thing at hand,
a dish or anything, and fires it at me.
If she hits me, she's happyl if she
doesn't am. Oh, we're getting on
fine !"-Tit-Bits.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

Get some GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules at once. They are an old,
tried preparation used all over the
world for centuries. They contain only
old-fashioned, soothing oils combined
with strength giving and system-cleans-
ing herbs, well known and used by ply
sicians in their daily practice. GOLD
MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules are inn
ported direct from the laboratories in
Holland. They are convenient to take.
and win either give prompt relief or
your money viii be refunded. Ask for
them at any drug store, but be sure
to get the original imported GOLD
MEDAL brand. Accept no substitutes
In sealed packages. Three sizes
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

the well rounded form which is usually
attractiveness.
That millions of PEOPLE are conscious
of this handicap is evident from the con-
tinued appearance H. newspapers and
magazines Of many suggestions proposing
various remedies in food or medicine or
exercises either of which might or might
not be appropriate for given case.
Authorities, however, agree that healthy
nerve tissue is absolutely essential to a
strong, robust body and mind. Weak
nerves, while indicated by multitude OF
different symptoms, more Immediately and
generally result in lack of energy, sleep
lessness, irritability, depression, etc,
which conditions gradually consume the
healthy flesh leaving ugly hollows, fiat
chest, bony neck and scraWny arms ana
legs.
Our bodies need more phosphate than
most of them are able TO extract from
the foods we eat nowadays, and many
opinions affirm that there is nothing
which may be taken into the human
system that SO effectively supplies this
known as bitro-phosphate and sold by
good druggists everywhere.
The essential phoSphoric food elements
in bitro-phosphate assimilated by the
nerve cells should soon produce pleas
ing change in nerve energy and hence
burdens of nervousness, sleeplessness,
lack of energy etc., lifted, normal weight
with it's attractive fullness and ruddy
glow of health replaces the former picture
of skin and bones.
CAUTION: = Although Phosphate
and attendant disorders, owing to its ten
dency to increase weight, one should
watch the scales while taking it unless
1t is the desire to put on flesh.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
MIGHT REGRET II.

Mistress afraid my poor, dar-
ling little Topsy will never recover. Do
you know, Bridget, / think the kind
est thing would be to have her cnloro-
formed and put out of her misery?
Bridget wouldn't do that, mum.
Sure, she might get better, after all,
an then ye'd be sorry We had her kill
ed.-Boston Transcript.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

With your fngersl You can lift OF
any hard corn. soft corn, or corn be-
tween the toes, and the hard skin cal
luses from bottom Of feet.
A tiny bottle Of "Freezone" costs
little at any drug store; apply q few
drops upon the corn or callus. In
stantly it stops hurting, then shortly
you lift that bothersome corn or callus
right OF, root and all, without one bit
Of pain or soreness. Truly! No hum
bugl
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
The Riuht Man.

Applicant-Got a job for soldier
that went through the Hindenburg
line?
Proprietor and Editor of the Crimi-
nal Gulch Whoop (wearily)-I have
that very thing. young man. I'm dead
tired from hopping up infuriated read
ers and spring poets. Take off your
coat and go on sentry duty. Buffalo
Express.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
The Difficulty.

SIT doesn't follow that a successful
business man can be success in pol
itics."
"No?"
mo. A man may be able to run q
big business without any trouble at
all, but the minute he tries to run
a big city he finds that he's got to
please everybody and that's job he
knows nothing about
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
The Ingenious Lad.

Small Boy-Father wants to know,
Mr.. Jones, if you'll trust him for a
joint of beef till pay day.
Butcher (amazed) didn't say
that?
Small Boy-What he wants Is a
pound of pork sausages; but / thought
I'd begin high and then come down
bit by bit if you proved stubborn
London Answers.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Another Motive Impuaned.

Wife (after church service, angrily)
Why did you put $5 bill on the
plate, Gregory?
Hubby-It's little enough.
Considering what you did at
some directors meeting lately, eh?-
Buffalo Express.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Paner From White Pine.

Manufacturers of rough pine lum.
Der state that the white pine in
northern Chihuahua is admirably
adapted to the manufacture of paper.
A milling company in Ell Paso. Tex, is
now making boxes of rough pine lum-
Der produced in this district on the
main line of the Mexico Northwestern
railway.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
INCREASE WEIGHT
and VITALITY
WITH PHOSPHATE
Nothing Like Plain Bitro-Phosphate 70
Put on Firm, Healthy Flesh and
to Increase Strength, VIQor
and Nerve Force.

The average person is beginning to real.
tze more and more that the lack of phys.
zeal strength and nerve exhaustion (fre-
Quently evidenced by excessive thinness)
are the direct cause not only of the fail
ure to succeed In life's struggle for the
necessities OF existence, but also for the
handicap in ones social aspirations. Com
pare the thin, sickly, angular frame with
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Quite Ready.

Teacher-Now, Willie, can you men
ton any creature that belongs to the
brute creation?
Willie-Yes'm my pa does. my ma
says.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
ParadoxicaI Sort.

"a doctor is queer sort Of man."
why so?"
lie is most angry and irritable
when he finds he must have patients. y
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Quite Compatible.

81 heard the speakers address was
extempore.' at wasn't anything of
the kind; it was rotten"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Pert (inent) Question

Enployer-The boy / had before is
worth twice as much as you are.
Boy--Did he get it?-Boston Tran
script.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

There is no cold cream that will
keep away wrinkles so successfully as
the milk of human kindness.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

It takes a man with sense to make
o dollar go long way.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

Many useless things are highly treas
ured-as the freckles on a boys face.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
FRECKLES
Now Is the Tine to Get Rid Of These Ugly Spots

There's no longer the slightest need of feeling
ashamed Of your freckles, Othine-doubls
strengths guaranteed to remove these homely
spots.
strength--from your druggist. and apply a little
OF 1t night and morning and you should soon see
that even the worst freckles have begun to dis
appear, while the lighter ones have vanished en-
tirely. It il seldom that more than one ounce
IL needed to completely clear the skin and gain
q beautiful clear complexion.
Be sure to ask for the double strength OthiAes
as this IL seid under guarantee OF money back
II It fails to remove freckles.-Adv.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

Nothing makes woman with new
hat so angry as to have another wom-
an pass her without noticing it.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

If patient has lots of money any
doctor can relieve him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

A calm is welcome after a storm.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25

Cowards' weapons neither cut nor
pierce.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-07-25
Restaurant owed Them Money.

Sometimes a bayonet just bristles
with the missionary spirit.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
GIadstone,s Nicknamea

Talking of niclnames reminds us
that young Mr.. Gladstone is known to
his intimates as "Tuppence." "A name
which dates from his Elton days. for it
was during the time that he was there
That Mr.. Gladstone the elder took 2d
oft the income tax and The boys cele-
6fated the event by decorating his
son with an appropriate title.
But Lord Randolph Churchill went
one better and called the promising
foahs Efonian the Pocket Hercules"
on account of his devotion to games
and especially 10 football. for at this
game young Gladstone excelled and
played for his house for four years
London Chronicle
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Crow Chased as Enemy.

The conservation commission places
The crow at the head of the blacklist
OF birds, quoting bulletin of the
PENNSYLVANIA board of game commits.
ioners to the effect that he DESTROYS
individually more birds Of all kinds
more birds eggs and young poultry
than any other bird that ever fappod
wing" As means of brinrinr
crows within easy gun-range the use
of a stuffed owl (crows delight in mob
bling owls which they find abroad bv
daylight is recommended. as wen rs
GROW CALI whistle, which may be
bought at sporting goods and hardware
stores.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Jan Industry Increasing.

The plateglass industry IN ' ,l.i
has greatly expanded since the w gu ~,
war. Before the war about 'si0s =.
hcxes of glass were consumer e' -
ally. 100000 boxes of which "efe =
ported from Belgium and ''efia ',s.
the remainder being of home hl' a.oal
ture. During the past year 9 ,a.a
hcxes were manufactured III ''t
of which 100000 boxes were eoi, a.H nj
ut home. and the renainiiig -9s
boxes We're exported
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25


a Newfoundland equipped H
field of Gen Francisco Villa Investigating
great mas of paper an hem along
we're ON thesepa men n
the
thank
fcIe TO II.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

State bank didn't anything but they killed
Herman w Uecker who they WERE
did Patcman John Iannon
South Morgan Harry t Parker of 655 South Fairfield
They Thomas
Albert Batc1er Daniel Nicholas
O Gary, Ind
participation
Nicholas Trulm i involved hatcher
admitted Uecke
Bacher, within II
and e n IA
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

The other night the telephone bell
ut the South Clark street station rang
and Womans voice asked the desk
sergeant: rs Coleman or Vernacchi
there ?" She was told that Coleman
was on tour of duty She reached
him after two hours effort.
Listen" she said you rescued
me from certain death last winter.
promised myself to requite You some
time-and | never forget. On June IA
five men tried to hold up the First
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
CYnicisnn.

We are reminded that resentment,
doubt and cynicism are so easily mis-
taken for the wisdom of disilIusion-
nent that there is double reason
to guard against them, Many hurt
soul fancies it is growing wise in the
ways of the world when in truth it is
only growing hard and bitter. An
acquaintance with mankind does not
mean merely learning humanity's seamy
sue and being on guard against it. A
wider study will bring far different
and more hopeful knowledge.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

eaefatleh lot business and Profess
s-onal Nemen, of which she is execu-
TIVE secretary.
This IS the biggest thing that has
ever been launched fer the business
women Of tire country says Miss Phil
lips who started the movement in New
York city, whore clubs have already
federated. The movement is spread
ing all over the country aud behind il
are some of our most prominent wom-
en-. The movement Wds begun last
February ana has progressed rapidly,
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Her Snsnicion.

You seem TO like to hear me talk
about the league of nations, Charley,
dear" sad young Mrs Torkins
Il do"
"But you don't take what say as
seriously as you take the remarks of
Others
That's nothing for you to grieye
about. is it,"
Il don't know. Maybe you encour-
age me TO talk because for a change
you like to laugh instead of getting
angry"
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

ents AIr. and Mrs. AFan HCFeanl i've
at 245l North Lawndale avenue, Leo
incidentally is private IN VI troop
Fifth United States cavalry, aud he
MAS one of The first into Me0ieu when
the Yanks went over to chase villa.
He was one of those who went
without food or drink or rest for n
hours. driving his horse TO the limit,
and suddenly it dropped dead in hot,
sandy waste, almost as hot and almost
as dry rs his tongue.
He didn't fancy the idea Of walk.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

dred marriages in June Is The record.
Competition for business has be
come so heated at the Chicago. Mil
Waukce and North Shore Electric Rail
way station that some score of so
iicitors for the marriage ceremony fire.
qaehtiy come near to fistieHf1s over the
patronage of couple that step Oft
the train, j. H-Ward heHaa
Il seems that the Justices of the
peace, the doctors and the jewelers. all
contribute dollar each 20 tho taNcab
drivers and others who bring the con-
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

WINSTON met her IN EehruarY.. Moon-
light, palm trees. the beach and the
soft strains of Hawaiian music fol-
lowed. Their engagement il now an
nouneed.
Winslow met Miss Anderson while
he MAS The guest Of her brother ut the
Anderson home IN Honolulu Both
men we're officers IN the same air
squadron i'm France.
When the war ended the two men,
Who were very close friends. planned
to visit each other. Lieut. Robert
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Innocent Heart ~ cbu

Daddy" asked a mite of eight sum.
mers. God makes us do the good
things, doesn't he?" YES" replied tho
father. And Satan makes us do tho
naughty things Again, yes. Wei,
who makes us do all the funny ones ?"
London Post.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25

"One thing against wearing silk
skirt around town on windy doy y
confessed Heloise OF the rapid fire res
taurant' lis that ii keeps you busy all
the time pulling 1t off from your hat.
pin. kansas City Star.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Friendly Saiutatinn

Donald was much interested IN
neighbor's dog. One day he came in
from play and said, Mother. waved
my hand at the dog and the dog waved
his tail"
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
But Thew Are Always There.

There are chords in the human -. -,
Which are only struck by aee'py !,
which will remain mute ana seii', ;,
to appeals the most passietia'e n
earnest. and respond al taS'
slightest casual touch.-Dlchen''
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
FORTY MILLIONS
FOR AIR SERVICE
CONGRESS GRANTS ENOUGH TO
KEEP UP EQUIPMENT AND
RECRUIT PERSONNEL.
NOT ALL AIRMEN ASKED FOR
Vast sum Was Needed to Put Aircraft
Manufacturing Industry on Produc-
ton Basis, but America Was Ready
When Armistice Came,
gy EDWARD 5. CLARK.


Wa~hington.-C Congress has appro-
priated S40.O0O,0O0 through the army
supply bill for the use Of the air serv-
ice. This is not rs much money as the
airmen asked, but it will enable the
service to keep up its equipment and
a fairly strong personnel, and will en-
able the United States probably to
have airplanes enough for an ordinary
emergency.
People have been wondering what
became of all the money that was
voted for the air service in war time.
It seems likely that some of it was
wasted, but there has been perhaps
no proper appreciation of the enormous
initial cost which the government had
to stand in order to get the great air
craft manufacturing industry started
on the basis of production that seem
ingly was necessary.
Brig. Gen William Mitchell, who Is
in charge of aviation operations in the
war department. was in command OF
the American aviation service in the
St Mhiel drive. He has just testified
that when the drive was started more
airships were concentrated in the i'm
mediate vicinity than ever had been
brought together within like area
since the war began. During the drive
LOO planes were sent into action.
General Mitchell was the first Amer
lean officer to fly over the Hun line.
Il is said 10 he necessary that the
aifBlane service of the United States
should be reconstructed. As General
Mitchell put it:
."fhe personnel which has been
trained as a result Of this war Is large
lY scattered throughout the country.
We have a wonderful baSis of person
mel returning from Europe, but they
Ind to go home 4 great majority of
them would not stay in the service
because it looked like a hopeless future
fer them. as very little encouragement
fer an air service Of anT importance in
the near future was held eat"
Air Forces Were About Ready.
Il IS pretty generally agreed that
when he armi>tice went into effect the
United States, 50 far rs IFS forces We're
concerned was Just getting ready Ito
do business on a proper scale. If IS
true That the St. Mihiel drive took
place I've months before The armi~tice
went INTO effect hut the concentration
If flyers ~ that place 1T some other
places without proper Americas air
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
LOGICAL.

"A man dat never thinks Of nohoav
but hisse'f,n said Uncle Eben, cant
help gittin' hisse'f on his mind so much
dat he jes' naturally gifts tired of his
SET"
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Business and Professional Women Now Organized

ENyER-2iss Lem Phillips attorney city only
- t law
Institution ..l has boon len.
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Dilemma.

A woman novelist Is bel'io" !.
that II a woman holds onto ne' ,.ss
ions she loses her husbaiio M
and if she holds onto bis INV
loses her identity
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
ION That Beach at Waikiki Romance Never Ceases

uoNoLULU"on Tint Watkfzf9 The
IL
nxere lodge Iazr Ea M md Ms RUN Anderson of Ianamu
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Grateful Woman Tips Off Bank Robbers to Police

CnCAGOone February Patromn
and of
Clark station Found Hungry
The Monticellonian. [volume] (Monticello, Ark.) 1870-1920, 1919-07-25
Wisconsin Now Has a Gretna Green in Waukegan

w AtKEGAN HID narfeaT" This suaioo
w a
e Naukcgan has Wisconsin
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-03-16
Rubber Nipples
for German Babies
Action of British Women
Brings Forth Much
Protest.

LONDON, March l5.-(SpcciaD.-T
action OF the Womcn's international
h nin1in in ,s sending 100000 rubber
babies and it's efforts to get money to
send another 100000 has been the sub
England. The organization is the Brit.
ish section Of the lntcrna tionai Com
mittec OF Women for Permanent Peace.
Shipment of the nipples WAS sug-
'EcStcd by correspondent in Germany
lie quoted the head OF a childrcn's
was not done TO help German babies.
by 1883 there would be no German sol
diers tit TO tight: Commenting on this
There are crowds Of people III this
country who, while loving children.
Imperative duty Of Great Britain rs to
raise up German army for 1883
There are many il, the areas upon
dropped bombs killing Enslish CHI chil ;
drcn. and still many more in France
and Belgium whose childhood came
drcn's fathers who would tell where
the charitable thought of Great Britain
as regards children might first he
After listening TO an appeal for funds
10 purchase the nipples. George Eyer
gave out "A statement NJ IN in VIII whicb r'' shc
said that the child is. the. one thing
that counts, yet say frankly tho APP
The boys whose bandaGes were torn
Off she continued who had cups of
water dashed from their parched lips
by German women. were all some Brit
ish mothers baby once: these wonder
full boys, in the thoughts Of broken
hearted mothers. arc always just her
common sense of my sex TO believe they
would supply Fritz with n million
pieces of rubber, but ] find my faith
was not justified"
The secretary of tho league has
stated that the leagues work at home
need not be curtaiiei in any way 10
help the German babies
we ourselves feel il may mean a
great deal more than merely giving
nipples TO starving babies" she said
1T may create "A better feeling. which,
after all. is the only guarantee of peace
afterwards"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-03-16
Fairly Divided.

A doctor was called 10 attend an
lrishman and his wife. Both were suf-
ferinE with severe colds. and, fearing
they would develop influenza, the med
ical man ordered two grains Of quin-
inc and swallow OF whisky every
three hours" Calling tho next day.
he found the man up and about but
the wife was still in bed. Did you
follow my Instructions" said the doc
tor. ITO the letter, sorr." replied the
husband. How much quinine have
you left." Sure, OF tink she have
taken the whole av' IL" said the Irish
man. And did you take it too?" he
was asked. "Niver bit" was the
reply. "Begorra, II kept me busy takin'
tho whisky every tonne she took a
pill. an sure she's in bed an Dim
m"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-03-16

Care should be taken to strain =
juice through fine cloth SO no lem.
pulp gets in. then this lotion vii, kc.
fresh for months. Every woman kno,
that lemon juice is used to bleach n,
remove such blcmishcs as freckIt
sallowness and tan, and Is tho idc
skin softencr and beautificr.
Just try it! Get three ounces
orchard white at any pharmacy
toilet counter and two lemons fro.
the grocer and make up a ouar,
pint of this swcctly fragrant Lotto
and massage it daily into tho fac
neck. arms and hands, particular
rough. rcd hands.-Adv.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-03-16

in tho valley of tho Jordan. Mules
and camcls arc used plcntifully. but
good horse is great rarity. Poul-
try is raised largely at GAIA, Jericho
is good deal of quail and partridge
shooting to be had on the Plain Of
GAIA.
These. i'll the rough. are the agricul-
tura1 possibilities OF Palestine. AL
ready much is being done to take ad-
vantage Of tho freeing of the country
from the Turk. In 1914, hundred
pupils. trained as farmers by tho Jew
ish Alliance Of Paris, were given an
opportunity to pass their knowledge
on 10 their nciEhbors at tho village
OF Yasur, near Jaffa. Jewish colonial
ton projects and monasteries are also
Undertaking to introduce modern farm
ing methods into Palestine.
Copyright, 1879