The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-10-25

spending large sums of money for gaso-
line to enable his henchmen to tour the
state In the old days candidates bought
'tuep of another kind.
y * y
New York's air copettes will range
from 10 to IS years OF age, from which
we assume that air copettes are younger
and tenderer than the ordinary police
woman.
Ticket spectators are not bothering
patrons of German opera presented under
police protection in New York. The aud
fences seem to be composed largely Of
detectives anyhow.
* Il y
1t is sad to think about, but It is prob
able that variations of the 'shimmy"
will be employed by musical comedy
comedians to evoke laughter for another
tw elvemonth.
While it may be true that polo has been
played for 1000 years. We are safe in as
sorting that auto polo was unknown to
the ancient Egyptians.
Il =
At the hour of going to press. President
Wilson had not announced that he had
chosen William Gibbs McAdoo to succeed
him in the White House.
y 81 y
WilheIrn's Discrimination to see himself
in the movies is probably due to the
fact that he is not shown in a heroic
pose.
Governor Kilby is distributing generous
portions of pie" but without exception
the gentlemen rewarded are able to give
the countersisn.
| Even though he has been unseated In
Congress, John Fitzgerald of Boston has
personality that simply cannot be hid
den under a bushe1.
* = y
| If Italy is actually getting tired OF
D'Annunzio, there must be something
radically wrong either with D'Annunzio
or the italian temperament
| y ). *
| Joe Tumulty says the President IS IN
t.hne shape" Tut, tut! What does Joe
know about temperature?
y y "
| Yr...5.a+1,, Mr. Toroasuev Of Boston is
a conservative statesman to his friends
and political boss" to his enemies.
* y y
Liberty AMI Victory bonds continue tc
he the kind of securities that speak fol
themselves.
life in An inland city has its advan-
tages. You are not often at the mercy
of longshoremen.
The United States Senate doesn't seen
r. realize that the world is waiting tt
pull itself together
). = =
How it carries one back to see DUBIOUS
looks once more cast at the sugar powi
"UNCLE JOE. AND THE LOBBYIST
From the Washington Star.
Joseph Guernsey Cannon, more effec
tionately known throughout the lengtf
and breadth of the land as Uncle Joe,
is nearing his eighty-fourth birthday
He loves his fellowman and is one O.
the most affable members OF Congress
toward strangers. But Uncle Joe hates
FOUNDERS" and lobbyists enough to re
sent their attempts at familiarity.
For the benefit OF a couple of mel
with legislative axes to grind whom
he was endeavoring to impress will
: his cwn Importance around the CAPT
, tol one of the we'll known lobbyist
held up 'Uncle Joe" near the ciga
counter in the House restaurant
Hello. Uncle Joe" he exclaimed
Haven't seen you FOR some days. Yo'
sure are looking fine. Won't you hav
2. cigar with us-one of your old ia
vorites?"
! Then the cold, steady. steely look :
Uncle Joe's eyes gave him a warning
He tried to bluff it off.
why Uncle Joe, you don't seem t
2 remember me-"
But he reckoned without his host
you just can't bluff Uncle Joe. He ha
played the great American indoo
! game too long for that With shoulder
, thrown back. arms stiffened at hi
side. eyes piercing the presuming &C
| cuaintance he raised himself on hi
: toes, leaning closer and daringly to
ward the face of the other, and said
mo, I don't remember you. Why
; if when you get to the pearly gate
you don't look more familiar to S
Peter than you do now to me. he'l
say tc you: Get to hell of here, don
know you"
WHEELS ON LIBERTY BELL