The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1919-12-13
END OF WORLD COMING DECEMBER Is.
SAYS PROF. HOOZISS: ALL BUNK, is
ROBERTS, REPLY: PLANETS ON SPREE
Astromogolical Expert Predicts
Sudden Cpldness Which Will
Kill All Living Things, But
Weather Man Ridicules State
ment as Foolish

AS the sun attempts to peep over the
eastern horizon next Wednesday
morning Il sudden intense cold will
grip the earth, tremors will demolish
houses and the earth's rocking will be
the beginning of the end of the world.
That is the prophecy uttered today
by Prof. Ambrosia Iooziss, the astrom-
meteorological expert whose predictions
| in the apst have always run true to
form. Another of Prof. Hooziss' read
ings of the heavens shows that more
people will attend church this Sunday
than attended church last Tuesday
and that Christmas will fall on De
cember 25 this year.
| But to get back to the last trip OF
the sun around the earth. Prof. Hoo
Kiss states that on December II Il half
dozen planets with nothing else to do
will be on Il direct line with the sun
causing the latter's complexion to be,
come somewhat mottled These spots
which Prof. Hooziss says are not
really spots. but merely spectrams, Will
shut off all light and heat to our earth
thereby bringing a severe coldness
that will defy the range Of any hnown
thermometer to register and that all
plant and animal life on the earth will
cease to live.
PLANETS ON STRIKE
The planets responsible for the end
ing Of the world next Wednesday III
their order. from the sun are Mercury
Venus. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus and
Neptune with the earth between Venus
and Jupiter and slightly to one side
|ltris 5foEtunate that thea earth tisi is be-
tween Venus and Jupiter, otherwise
Prof, Hooziss believes that not only
the earth would cease functioningS but
the whole doggone universe would
strike for four hour day and triple
time for overtime.
DisAGREEs WITH HoOZIss.
Mr.. Roberts of the weather bureau
does not agree with all OF the predic-
tons made by Professor Hooziss, but
some people believe that may be pro
fessional jealousy. However, Mr.. ROD
erts says chat it is all Dosn about the
sudden cold spell on December II
because some of the other planets are
\ gong to mottle the sun Light from
the sun to the earth IS relracted,
said Mr.. Roberts, "and those light
rays also carry heat to the earth
I'll bet that it is warmer December II
than it was December TO-"
Mr.. Roberts says that the planets
only get in line with the sun as
\ IL, = will be on "Wednesday cn;e i,
centuries, but does not believe thai
that is any cause for alarm.
! All BUNK Says Roberts.
ut is all bunk" is Che weather
mans only comment on Professor
&IoozisS' prediction Of the end of the
world
Some of Prof. Hoozss' most famous
predictions as a result Of his exhaus:
tive study Of the solar system and the
--latest planetary fashions have been as
follows:
/ SOME PREDICTIONS.
A. C. Townley, declaring that the
nonpartisan league is too socialistit
for his stomach.
! Ed Patterson is going to quit whist
ling up the wind and let someone else
run Burleigh county
| President Wilson is going to rul
on the short end of the presidential
ticket with General Wood on the |
[W. w. platform,
! O. w. Roberts is going to stop drlv
! Continued on Page Three)