Evening star., 1919-08-24
HA 7 ow. remember dear. what
ever other curios you buy,
don't fail me on the execu-


gore OF the pirates and murderers ana
all that sort of thing. 1t will be the
greatest ornament in the armory.
Don't let the guides fool you with
any cheap and bogus imitation"
This was the farewell charge Of
Hawthorne Chester of Worcester,
Mass, to his wife, whom he was leav-
ing behind in China for an extra
months tour in the east while he was
hurrying home in answer to an urgent
business cablegram.
why, what a terribly bloodthirsty
individual your better half must be-"
remarked her dear friend and COM
panion, Miss Pinkerton, to Mrs. Ches-
= ter as. they took their seats on the
company's launch that had carried the
goodbye party out to the departing
Pacific Mailer. ".Just to think of any.
man asking his wife to bring him
home ghastly thing like that. 1t
reminds me Of an Englishman that
saw bidding goodbye to his wife in
Egypt, and what do you suppose his
last message to her was? Why, just
this, With all the rest Of that an
tiQuity trash. dear, don't forget the
baby mummy! 1t was bad enough to
speak Of all those beautiful jewels
and relics as antiquity trash wasn't
it?-men are such unappreciative
creatures. anyway, you know, my
dear-but to calmly ask her to bring
home that horrid cadaverous bundle
of dried-up human flesh and bones
under the name Of the baby mummy
WAS just one too many for me. You'll
pardon my saying it. but just for the
moment it made me reconciled to-
might have truly said thankful fora
condition of single blessedness. No
husband Of mine would ever ask me
twice to act as freight carrier for
that old dead and disgusting stuff"
"Oh, my child" replied Mrs. chester,
with good-natured smile (she called
her friend, Miss Pinkerton, child" out
OF sort Of patronizing affection for
her and sympathy with her in her
loneliness). you're entirely mistaken.
He's the tenderest and gentlest crea-
ture In the world. He wouldn't hurt
q mouse. His own mother used to
say that when he was little boy he
wouldn't pull the wings of a fly. This
is Just q little innocent hobby Of his
this collecting terrible weapons Of all
kinds to hang on the walls Of his den
in the attic, which he calls his
'armory.' He's been buying them up
ever since before we were married.
He's got it Just covered with guns and
pistols and swords and knives and
daggers, to say nothing Of cannibal
island war clubs and frightful things
they beat out each others brains
with. He loves to tell you that every
one Of them is genuine
"Just what does he mean by that re-
mark"
why, that every weapon there has
killed somebody-or tried to, sup
pose"
How perfectly awful"
And nothing disappoints him more
than to have some visitor ask him
about something that isn't in the col
lection. He just worries about it until
he gets 1t. That's the reason he's SO
crazy about a Chinese executioner's
sword. You see some old tea mer-
chant from Boston. who had lived
many years in China, told him that
would be the greatest thing in all the
NAMOAy anu ih AdSt, was IHc only
really important thing he lacked. You
see. II only we could have gone up to
Canton and seen an execution and
bought the actual sword there and
then; but that miserable cablegram
spoiled It ALL"
And SO. man-like. he has left the
unpleasant duty for his wife, has he?"
''Tut. tut. my child. you don't UNDER
stand. 1t isn't an unpleasant duty at
AL; It's just Joy to me to crafty
that little hobby of his and add lit
tie something to his 'den.' Why,
don't feel any different about buying
him q. sword than do about buying
him q new pipe or a tobacco box. My
only anxiety is about its being abso-
lutely genuine as he says. OF course,
can't go up to Canton and actually
see their heads chopped Off my
SELF"
"Merciful heavens! should hope
not" interrupted the astonished COM
panion.
so I'm obliged to rely on the con.
sufs finding me some thoroughly re-
liable party who can do this for me.
He thinks the Bennington will be
going. south next week and, IL so,
Lieut.. Ward. who 10 a most charming
man and an old personal friend Of