davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Gen. c. w. Tiiden Auxiliary.
$. of V. will be instituted in H. +.
A. hail Tuesday evening. March IL,
at 80 O'Clock by Mrs. Rose Kelley.
division president. assisted by J..
Mae Hailett. division secretary. also
by the Gardiner Auxiliary. which will
exemplify the work. The officers
eject are requested to meet with Mrs.
Mics. rs Second street. tins after
noon. from TO 5 p. NJ, for an i'm
portant committee meeting.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
OInsk Clergy
Bitterly Attack
B0lslaeviki Govt.

Omsk, March o.-{Havas). After ..av-
ing remained neutral for two years. the
clergy in the government of Omsk is
now bitterly attacking the Bolshevik;.
II has gone completely over to the
cause of Admiral Kolchak. supreme
governor of the government OK On3k.
and is expressing its sentiments in a
manner which has deeply impressed
the entire country.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

George H. Roberts. the food con-
troller, according to 4 dispatch from
London under date of February D.
in announcing the suspension Of
government control in Great Britain
of prices and distribution of import
ed bacon. hams and lard after
March 81. said that the board Of
trade, at the request of the food COR
troiler. was issuing Il general license
permitting the importation Of bacon.
hams and lard arriving on or after
March 10.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
Bath Boy Accidentally
Kills Self with Revolver

Bath. Me-. Mar Carl 81. Sward..
IA years old, shot and instantly killed
himself tonight with revolver thai
he supposed to be empty. He vas
discussing with 4 boy friend Wild
west scenes from their savorite lit
erature. and by way Of illustration
turned the gun on himself The bullet
lodged near the heart. The boy was
the son Of C. Oscar Sward. who lives
with his rAInily here on a houseboat.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
Admiral Oman
To Be Governor
Virgin Islands

Washington. March. 5-Rear- Ad-
miral Joseph W. Oman is t o be ap-
pointed governor Of the Virgin Is-
lands. it was said today at the Navy
department. He will take the place
of Rear Admiral James Oliver. re-
tired. who was recently relieved
from that duty and returned to the
retired list. Admiral Oman is now
commandant OF the Second Naval
district with headquarters at New
port. r. I.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
Ahsant Minded Abnar outpointed

Though this incident happened sew
eral days ago those who were con-
nected with the affair have not i'm
ished chuckling over it yet. It's 4 fact
in every detail. except the name, ana
IN this city. The story runs
as follows:
4 certain professor whom we will
call Smith was due TO lecture in Gar
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

\ uenlbpr was initiated into the
.star,rs ri Masonry at the regular
neetIg- 81 Herman Lodge on Monday
.aerlng lndrr rather unusual condl-
9e L. vas he fifth genera ton to
.a.orne 4, Mason. and all previous
r,,b he rXceptlon Of one were men,
ers nj fie!rnun Lodge. His great
req; grandfather became a member
S.e MS grandfather in 1873 and
: f.tl!er II lS9". the young man
aak.ng The rifth 10 join Hermon
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
". Y. Pharmacists Want
No LinuOr Traffic

Albany. N. T.. March 5.-Representa-
tives of the retail druggists OF New
Fork state today urged the Assembly
judiciary committee to amend the pro.
hibitiOn enforcement DILL so that phar-
macists would not be permitted to traf-
hc u liquor. il.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
NATIONAL HOME

Officer of the day. Capt. Frank w
Mckee.
Edward L. Hayes. late Co. I. l. Ne.
Inf. has reported for re-admission
Sumner Glazier, yeoman. L. s.
Navy. has returned to his station at
Newport. r. l., after L furlougi1 to
his home.
Burroughs were granted Wednes-
day to Archibald x. Alden TO Lynn.
John lyman to Lawrence; William
Walsh to Lewiston, William H.
Churchill to Biston and Charles H.
Wyman to, Portland.
Capt. E. L. Clark left Wednesday
for Portland. to attend meeting Of
the Loyal Leglon9
Thursdays Concert Program
March-"Home Coming Day
Overture-'Sunshine
Waltz" Memories of Spain
Descriptive Fantasia-"An American
Abroad"
Grand Fantasia-"Songs of Uncle
Sam
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Lieut.. Huron Clough Of Canyon
Vile. Ore. has been the guest of his
cousin. Judge Will G. Atkins. Church
street. Lieutenant Clough has Just
returned from France and is now
making his first visit among some
of his relatives in the East. "a
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The prayer meeting at Spears
Corner will be held Friday evening
at Deacon Coles. People from Car
diner attending please take the 3
clock acr.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
ConY High Notes

There will be n meeting of the CO.
club in the library at $50. Monday
evening to initiate new members.
All graduate members of the club
are cordially invited to be present.
Refresnment will be served.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
Queen of Rulnania
Arrives in Paris

Paris. March 5.-tHavas). Queen
Mary Of Rumania. accompanied by
her daughters. the Princess Eliza
beth Nnrie and Ilennia, arrived IN
Paris this morning. They received L
warm welcome.
4 dispatch from Geneva Feb. %
said the Queen Of Rumania and her
daughter, the Princess Elizabeth, had
fed from Bucharest for England,
fearing a. revolution in Rumania
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Special cunyocation of Jerusalem
Royal Arch Chapter, No. 4. this eve-
ming at $50. Work in Royal Arch
degree. Sojourning companions are
cordially invited to attend
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

IT.. -z.lag meeting y. the reii-
-og. institute will be held this
,,r-soa- .v,nlng II the niversalist
,t-. n. study class will begin
~, md III 5 O'Clock Prof. Henry
n Brown nj 'oibN College will give
ro LIST If MS series OF lectures. the
s..,. ,.an., "Cvolution.' These
.,.,.r.. re ,cientitic. instructive and
.e.ous Al are weicomo and cor
-t4,.. nvlt,"l.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Lowney's cocoa free with genuine
aluminium sauce pans. in nest. See
adv. Chocolates SOC lib. at Beane's
Drug Store. Daily papers.-Adv.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Frederick S. Smith and daughter
Miss Geneva left Wednesday for New
York. for Il visit TO the wholesale
dry goods establishments Of that
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The remains of the late Edwin E.
Morse, who died in Livermore Falls.
arrived III this city Wednesday on
the 2.41 train. and were taken TO
West Gardiner. where funeral ser
vices were held.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Miss Genie Cali returned Wednes-
day from Bath. where she has been
passing a week with friends
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Mrs. Edwin Whitney who was
called to Portland by the illness Of
her daughter. Mrs. Charles Cassie.
returned to her home IN this city
Mon'iay
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

-. ladies' AID Society Of the
,.,.odt,t Episcopal church will
,.o, .--.tl4 lfternoOn with Mrs.
l..sel highland avenue.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Rebekahs will please notice
that the Three Links Club will not
furnish the lunch for the Friday
night dance.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

-, -1roh4 club will meet Thurs
o., .yen.ng With Mrs. Violet Dale.
, v,41l- ,-."t Randolph. at 7.4a
...,, Al 2ebekahs are invited.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Many friends Of Sergt. William H
Waldron will be pleased to learn of
his safe arrival from overseas, he
being AT present at Camp Merritt.
Y r
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Regular meeting this evening at
80 o'clock of Sanborn Lodge. No.
9S. |. Q. Q. F. Work in the Second
degree.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

,...,,,n Theodore Emery, L. S. n.
sing sew days furtough with
,.rerte Il Randolph.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

-,. f,yles Aid of the Randolph
II Z. -hrra will meet at the vestry
r,ursaa,' I1relnoon.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Mrs. H. R. Treworgy left Sunday
Tor New York. where she will attend
the millinery openings.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Walter Lewis has resigned his po-
sition At Shea fish market and left
Wednesday, for Winthrop, Mass,
where he has employment.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

stephen Mariner left Wednesday
for Danville, ILL.,, where he is to be
employed.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The boys and girls from the eighth
grade. class in civil government.
Central street. visited the State
House on Wednesday.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Twice Two Club met wednes-
day afternoon with Mrs. f. 8. Smith.
Vine street.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Word has been received of the
safe arrival in New York. from
France of Sgt. Walter C. Neal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Oren True Of Lifted was calling
on Gardiner friends, Wednesday,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Miss Emma Dunn is enjoying a
two weeks vacation with friends in
Auburn. y. H.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

G. B. Warner was able to be down
town Wednesday after being confined
to the house with larYnsitis.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

.,,..r,..- r4nham of Waterville was
.nong n~ MI Of town visitors IN
-. ~ a ttrrsday.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Jolly Sister will meet Friday
evening at the home Of Mrs. A. Pet
erson, II Chestnut street
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

W. s. Paul Of Oakland was amonr
tie out-of-town business visitors
Wednesday,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Henry N. Bates. ticket agent at
the Maine Central station, left We'd
neSday for Portland
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Art Club will meet Thursday
evening with Mrs. George James.
Farmingdale.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Mrs. z. l. Sutton of Waterviiie was
in this city Wednesday calling on
friends.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

..s -nroile OF Portland was
..f,,. IN ,lardiner friends. Wednes-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Charles B. Schlosberg has resigned
as member of the Junior aid Sem
Tor orchestra.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Miss Katherine Chase OF This city
PASSED the week END N Watervllle
as the guest of her father. Winfred
Chase.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Mrs. Jack Boyer of New York and
Mrs. Elizabeth Boyer Of this city
left Wednesday, for New Orleans.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Miss Eva e. York OF Readtieid was
calling on friends III this city Wednes-
day.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Mr. ana Mrs. George Marley were
..so,,ers Wednesday, for Port
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

z. G. Carver OF Portland was a
business visitor IN this city Wednes-
day.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Miss Elsie Trask left Wednesday
for Il two-weeks visit to Boston.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
WATERvIlLE

Clinton Gondhue has gone to Port
land on 4 short business trip.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Abel D. Brown arrived Wednesday,
fromb South Norwalk, Conn.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
HIGHER PORK
Continued from Page One)

and all foodstuffs for the allies bought
IN America were purchased through it,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

g., t:ciaan of Litchtieid was
80 ,;.lr,iiner friends Wednes-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
TWO-MAN TEAMS
BOWL TO A DRAW

Laid rolled 5O2 in his five strings
OF the Two Man League match.
Wednesday evening at the Colonial
alleys. The teams Nos :, and 4,
broke even on points. team TAX
ing two strings and scoring the high
err total. The summary:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

London. Mar. 5.-Private traders
will be free to import bacon into
Great Britain from March 10. This
announcement was made in the
House of Commons today.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

Ahlte left Wednesday for
- v,~y. ,a.led by the illness of
mo sister
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

,,,~,ev AcEasiin of West Gardiner
'4-' >uOess visitor IN Gardiner
vas
raditc'ls
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

.... ..r,ras4.l races for Wednesday
,l.o IF owing to the condition
4 ,Ee 'C-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
LOCAL NOTICE

~ rore,ga Missionary Society of
re Methodist church will hoid =
9st.ne ,oe!a Y the Vestry Friday
en.ag Pleasing program given.
ae.res!ments md canned goods on
ale idmISslon 10 cents in costume.
NuhuUt costume IL cents. marod1t
so ID. lance range hall tonight.
u Master orchestra. Good music.
REFRESHMENTS mar6d1tH
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

waiter NJ Spear left wednesda,
on business trip to Portland.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06
the 18TH LEGISLATURE
Continued from PAGE Four)

voted to adopt Senate Amendment
a in concurrence: and on further
motion by the same gentleman the
bill was passed to be engrossed as
amended by Senate Amendment A.
in concurrence.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

TEAM NO. =
Goodwin. 81 81 81 100 94-4ti2
Laid. 80. 81 SO 107 1O7 102-502
Totals. ..1S4 173 2G4 207 1876 964
TEAM NO. 4
Perkins. 100 d 1O5 81 10l-ss4
Allison, :. 81 1O4 80 81 1O2-466
Totals. $50 1876 1856 1893 2O3 $40
Monday evening Martin and Nor
cross will roll GirouN andCroteau.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Chair lays before the House
An Act to authorize the Northern
Seaport Railroad Company to merge
with and into the Bangor & Aroos-
took Railroad Company. House Doc
ument No. l90, tabled by the gen.
tleman from Portland. Mr.. Allan.
pending the adoption of Senate
Amendment A.
On motion by Mr.. Allan Of Port
land. the House voted to reconsider
tn, vote whereby the bill was passed
to be engrossed: and on further mo-
ton by the same gentleman. the
House voted to adopt Senate Amend
ment 4 in concurrence: and on fur
ther motion by the same gentleman
the bill al amended by senate
Amendment A was passed to DE en-
crossed in concurrence.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Chair lays before the House
An Act to provide for physical edu-
cation in the public schools, House
Document No. :55. tabled by the
gentleman from Minot. MIR. Bean.
pending its third reading.
On motion by Mr.. Bean OF Minot.
the bill then had its third reading
and was passed to be engrossed.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

The Chair lays before the House
An Act amending the charter OF the
city of Calais. providing for biennial
elections. tabled by the gentleman
from Calais. Mr.. Murchie. pending its
third reading. and the Chair recog-
nixes the gentleman from Calais. Mr..
Murchie.
Mr. MERCHIE: Mr.. Speaker. I
do not like to ask for delay. but this
bill was tabled only yesterday. and
tabled for the reason that there are
people in Calais who wish to amend
the bill as it appears. Therefore. I
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1919-03-06

On motion by -.Ir. Murche of Calais.
Adjourned until tomorrow morning at
. o'clock.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1919-08-26

All restrictions on the output of beer have
been removed in England. The government.
has announced that the act restricting theT
output will be repealed at the next session
of parliament Meanwhile, the announcement
says, its provisions will not be enforced.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1919-08-26
The AdUancing WeeUiL.

The fond belief of north Georgia farmers
that they would be immune from the ravages
of the cotton boil weevil has been demolished
by the discovery of swarms of boil weevls
IN the Adamsville district of Fulton county
Commissioner of Agriculture Brown re-
ports that an examination of a large farm in
this district disclosed the fact that the weevils
are deVouring cotton squares with the same
rapacity in Fulton county that they exhibit
in the cotton fields of south Georgia.
The Weevil attacks not only the cotton
boil. He attacks the square when it first
forms, before it blooms. When he finishes
with a square there is nothing left in it
to make a boil of cotton, even when it
blooms. The cotton field examined in Fulton
county was found to be literally swarming
with the weevil. The ground was Uttered
with fallen squares.
For the past four years the farmers of
south Georgia have been engaged in the
battle with the boil weevil They have found
by experience that this little insect is not
a myth Of the entomOlogists, but an actual
and deadly enemy of the south's great staple
They have found that field infested with
weevils this season cannot be made by even
| the most intensive cultivation, to produce
next season a crop of cotton that will pay
for the fertilizer and labor, much less yield
a profit.
Advancing slowly towards the north and
northeast, the weeyil as yet has not reached
the upper portion of the state, and the farm
ers in this section have permitted themselves
to believe that the weevr for some reason
would never get above middle Georgia Now
they have in the Fulton county farm warn
ing which they cannot ignore or misconstrue
BY the middle of next year predict the
experts, all of north Georgia will be Uttered
with the boil weevil. By the middle of 1921
it will be swarming with them. North Geor-
gia farmers will then be obliged to take the
! same steps to combat the pest that south
Georgia farmers have already taken.
Up to this time the experiments made with
various poison treatments have not been sue
! cessful. There is yet one way, and only
one way, to combat the pest, and that is
by rotation of crops and increased produc-
ton of food and live stock. A field infested
this year cannot be made to produce next
year profitable crop of cotton.
1t seems tCe7be certain beyond any doubt
that the weevils advance. will continue until
I it has penetrated the farthest corners of the
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1919-08-26
BITS OF INFORMATION

A baby kangaroo is little larger than a
The source of practically al the icebergs of
the Arctic and sub-Arctic regions is Greenland.
Duflng the last year nearly 100000 acres
of woods in England were felied for war pur-
poses F'
Field experiments in Ireland have shown
that liquid manure produces better hay crops
than any othe fertilizer
In 1916 there were $4,000 divorces granted
in the United States, the record among Civilized
nations being surpassed only by Japan
The notice, Ladies are requested to- re-
move their COMBS" appears now on theater
programs in London, because the vogue of the
An apple tree with which Missouri nurs-
cry firm is experimenting is valuable enough
to be inclosed in a wire cage provided with
q burglar alarm. s,
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1919-08-26
OF THE ORDER OF PETER PAN
By DR.. Frank Crane

There is a young widow out west who has
written me interesting letter. She signed
her name, too. I will not tell what it is I
may have my shortcomings, but I will not
tell on lady
Along with several thousand others her
home was wrecked by booze, and she had to
get rid of her bibulous spouse who enjoyed
SO much personal liberty" that she and her
children had nothing to enjoy but little bit
of hell.
But" she says, now this is why am writ
ing to you I must have some safety valve,
some outlet, some excitement once in while
Or feel I shall blow up. Don't mistake me.
L nave always been good. I don't want to do
any OF the horrid, vulgar things lonely women
sometimes do for excitement. / had a lovely
idea tonight. Could 1 get some mans clothes,
and when that do something or bust feeling
takes hold of me, just dress up and go out,
of course at night? That surely would be
exciting? D please tell me what YOU think
NO one knows l have these feelings, for I al
ways behave as a sensible woman of 2y,
with two children, should. Please write me-
But don't tell me to be sensible. 1 am, nine
tenths Of the time"
Well, first, fair one, you are little out of
order. The usual ritual is to go ahead and
cut up the high jinks and ask advice after
wards Then the wise adviser can say at
was naughty, but don't do it again" Where
as, if he says before hand GO ahead and do
1t, and you get arrested, or Mrs. Peckinpaw
nappeHs 10 see you and tells everybody in
the sewing circle, why then you can lay it on
to your adviser, and he will lose trade
so, my advice is: Do not dress up in mans
clothes. Do not rob a hen roost And do
not do anything else hilarious Do not even
get klttenish. In short do not do anything
at all.
That I consider masterpiece. It is on a.
level with most good advice. Because you
will probably pay no attention to it, and go
ahead and do as you please. But will save
my bacon
Still, Ethel, if you should happen to kick
over the traces, and break loose some fine
evening, and unlock old man Beaseley's gate.
or steal Lawyer Tompkin's apples, or some
thing, and then come and tell me about it
should say Never mind. Don't again. But
if you do, don't tell"
The trouble with you, woman, seems to he
tnat you belong to the Order of Peter Pan.
and are one of those blessed children who
never grow up And if you won't give me
away I'll confess I am secretly member
myself But I've learned to save nv antics
TOR home consumption. At home l am-well,
II ever fall out with my wife, and she wants
TO have me put in the insane asylum, she will
not have much trouble getting evidence.
And just for luck I send you a kiss.-if
you'll promise never, never to tell. It won't
hurt you and may help appease our thirst
for crime.
Copyright, 1919, by Frank Crane)