The Coconino sun., 1919-07-18

' week-when we don't forget it-a brief history of one of our prominent men and the artifices by which he has kept out of jail. This week we exercise our spit on
 "Rimmy Jim"
 Nutologists and psychopaths are astounded by the abnormal precosity of Rimmy Jim. In appearance and action Rimmy is ten years old; but his brain is equal to that of ten Full grown men. At the age of fifteen this prodigy earned $15,000 in one week. A year later he invented an automatic bronco buster that was big success. He was the first herds man in Arizona to apply to his busi- ness the great cooperative principle, "Me for Rimmy; all for Me" He is a successful manufacturer of sheep's corsets, director of many banks, most notably the Sand Bank, is prom inent in society, and can fill a pulpit and empty church better than any other lay preacher.
 During the recent celebration, after 1 indignantly protesting against the | fact that it took him two entire min utes to get from the Commercial Ho- tel to the Sun office, owing to street congestion, he analysed Flagstaff's traffic problem, and suggested rem edv that could only occur to mind unbiased by knowledge, as follows: | "Take the cars all off of San Fran cisco street and make it a one-way street, north to south. Widen the sidewalks and crossings by painting a white strip fifty feet beyond the present boundaries, using Vel Blatz Barma and a camel's hair brush. And paint beyond the outer edge of each strip a one-foot border, with fish glue, in which pedestrians overstepping the prescribed boundaries will stick until Chief Neill can arrest them."
 Joe Wilson, cashier of the Arizona Central Bank, is paying for his va cation out of the profits made in the | last few months from his invention of an all-but human machine for checking errors in bookkeeping. The machine is built in two sections, the first being used to check clerical er- TOTS, and the second to check the er- TOTS of the first. He has given the invention the most rigid tests-on his own work-and predicts that it will revolutionize accountancy.
 Money spent in weekly-every week I-newspaper advertising is not an ex- pense, but an investment. Spend as much in The Sun as you do for rent l and in less than a year your busl- ness will be doubled.
 A baby smiled in its mothers face;
 The mother caught it, and gave It then
 i To the baby's father-serious case
 Who carried it out to the other men. And every one of them Went straight away, Scattering sunshine Through the day.
 For Real Class get "J. C." Kelly, the new fall style. "The Lid with Lasting Nap."-Adv.
 It's very easy to be brave as David when Goliath is going to tackle some one else.
 The latest fashion in female tourist dress was noted the other day at Mitchell & Gunter's garage. The lady weighed about two-fifty, wore khaki coveralls, with drawstrings and wide ruffles about each ankle, and high heeled red slippers.
 Special to The Sun, July 17.--The value of vocational training is shown by the case of f--(O, who, after years spent in fitting himself for the responsibilities, has realized his ambition to become demonstra- tor of Morris chairs. Nobody can see
 -(?) at work without want ing to buy chair and go to sleep. Through long custom his figure has shaped itself to this peculiar type of chairs until it is impossible to see where --(?) leaves off and the upholstery begins.
 Oh, the loose-hung jaws encountered
 In the course of but day.
 Oh, the lives devoid of purpose,
 That we find along the way! They the weddings be, who know not
 What strong faith and will may do; Know not that the worlds a servant
 To the man who's game and true And who sets his jaw to say,
 "Well, Pm going to, anyway"
 One smile makes one filtration; two flirtations make one moonlight meet ing; two moonlight meetings make one kiss; five kisses make one engage ment; one engagement makes two fools; two fools make one marriage; one marriage makes two mothers-in- law, and two mothers-in-law make it hot for you all of the time.
 Was leaning up against the counter in the Dresswell Shop lissenin' to Bro. Sullivan explainin' to feller the correct way to tie a bow-this away: "You hold the tie in your left hand and your collar in the other. Slip