The Washington times., 1919-01-17
Two THREE
"BUGS" BAER.

If Robinson Crusoe's lamps had
been in the 5-B class Robby would
never have spotted Kid Fridays bow
legged, rubber heeled gondola prints.
And if Rob hadn't spotted those
busted-arched engravings in the
sand he wouldn't have been shocked.
Robby got an awful shock when he
piped the imprints of two violin
cases with toes on his front lawn.
Friday might have fooled him by
walking on his hands, but, as it was,
Mrs. Crusoe's husband was sure sur
prised when he ogled those pedes-
trian tracks on a perfectly good
island.
Still, it's fifty-ffty. If Robinson
hadn't been startled then, he would
have been shocked now, anyway, to
hear that the works have gone drier
than a soda cracker.
Chessir, the old star-spangled
suburbs are drier than a yard of
Chinese punk sticks. Nebraska slip
ped over the thirty-sixth jab yester-
day and the Boozesheviki curled up
like a burned potato filter.
The world and fringes is no longer
safe for demijohnocracy. With the
Little Brown Jug" packed away in
legal camphor, it's up to some cuckoo
20 write us a new national anthem
Nebraska always did have soda pop
pish tendencies. 1t is the nest Of the
I6to-1 bunk, meaning that every
sixteen rounds the bartender buys one.
Maybe. Bill Bryan's home is in Ne
braska whe9 he's home. Bill is the
originator OF the Beevo speech.
With the old nose rouge listed among
the alien enemies, an old timer IS 90
life as O rabbit cdn out Of q shotgun.
THE TINE IS NIGH WHEN A
BUSINESS MANS LUNCH WILL CON-
5IST OF FOOD.
The Emperor of Sahara died just when
the Nebraska Legislature added forty
eight States to his estate.
round the jag. boys, We'll rally round
the jag" is knocked colder than six
sardincs in olive oil
No more will we wake up in the hoose-
cow with our eyes looking like two loose
shoebuttOns and our mouths tasting like
the bottom of a parrots cage. All the fun
is extracted from the institution The Bull
hewhiskeys have lost another tussle.
You can inhale Skeevo or Lomon-
inc if you want to, but, fortunately,
it amt compulsory. They're perfectly
safe. You can drink all you want to,
but you'll drown before you'll get
stewed.
The long established bar ra- who
has been swallowing EN- in the - le
place for forty years, man and boy,
is going to have a corrugated time
when they drag the polished mahog-
any out from under his calloused ell
bow.
Forty-eight legislatures can lead a
percheron to Beevo, but they can't
make him buy.
Yea bo.
But the drys don't erpect the Uorks
TO roll orer and play dead Uitho'tt a
skirmtsh. They knOto right tceH that
pop and 1rdndpOpper toW demand
their rights as free, unequal citizens.
NeU ] IoTE Cnd SuOuTOS Uluy go HTfT
than corered bridge, but those old
jdszbos uon't hare any more use for
the InD than Mcrtcdn dog has for
hdtrpirs:
They may vote America dry. In
fact, they have voted 1t dry. We
han-ed the PPohibitionists many a
hoot since the first Prohibitionist
opened his mouth and threw the key
away.
We figured that he was something
like an apartment house steam heat,
ing system. All rattle and no results.
But the works are dry. The only
consolation is that county which
has been wet so long is bound to stay
damp for long while yet