Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-09-29
RETURN OF THE CASUAL
By WILLIAM McEEE


of "Casuals of the Sea and other tales and
special naral correspondent of The Chatting
Dish. has jna returned to this country after
nearly fire gears of active sea scruice pih
the British nary. II is the general feeling
of clients of the Dish that Afr. McFee be-
longs to the family, and re beg TO assure
our readers that zee mW do everything in
our porer to persuade this delightful ,oriter
to continue TO give to the Dish an occasional
ejdculatioH.)
Nutley, n. j., Sept. %.
T AM here, je suis lei, and am just getting
l. my second wind. I really am tired.
I've been living in trunks, since July 20.
My ticket takes me to New Orleans, but
I'm not going step further just now.
Well, and what do | think of your
glorious country? Sir, it is immense. 1t
is fine to be back. 1t is vast improvement
upon Europe. | will go further: 1t is an
Improvement upon the United States of five
years ago. People are kinder. ! mean the
general run of people, conductors, telephone
girls, barkeeps and cops. The whisky even
seems to me tC taste better, though why that
should be. when there isn't any, ] leave you
to explain. Mind, | must say hospitality
has its responsibilities. 1t can be carried
too far. As when l stood at Forty second
street and Broadway or thereabouts and
asked a stranger if he knew a place where 1
could wash my hands. He smiled beatifcally
and said he did. He led me by one of my
brass buttons Il was in uniform) and in due
course we arrived before Door to which
one needs no Key. And he told me to apply
at the lower end on the left. And I did
saying politely that ] wished to wash my
hands And the white aproned servitor,
who seemed to be washing his own hands
with invisible soap in imperceptible water"
for the throat. And l sat down the Empty
Glass. as old Omar says one should, and
passed out and along the city ways mar
Yelling greatly. and was nearly run down
bv a Pulmotor Six which was bearing q
brewers widow to temperance conference
at the Sazera Hotel.
DUT everybody is so kind it is heartless
- to discriminate. The British naval at
tache was bubbling with good nature when
| reported to him. He offered me $4 for all
the pound sterling notes 7 could spare. The
British ministry of shipping gave me a
perfectly good blessing. The baggage man
on the steamer soaked me magnifcently for
handing my gear to some one else to trans
port to Nutley. The United States immi-
grafton authorities degned to accept one
pound sixteen shillings head tax. I've
never been SO fused about in my life.
With regard to coming to Philadelphia,
I should love to, bdt ! really do want to
fold my wings for spell. / am busy with
n volume. / must tackle this work, for I
am going to sea again later.
''' ' WILLIAM McFEE.
The next time we get our hair cut we are
greatly. tempted to avail oursef of the serv-
ices of Prof. w. II. Butt. whose profes-
sional pasteboard reads thus: .'.
Prof. W. II. Butt
The Great TOnsOrial Artist
Crinicutural Abeission and Chronological
| Trypsis
chronological Hair Cutter
Hydropatical Shaver of Boards
All Work Physiognomically Executed
AL s, 18th street Philadelphia, Pa.
A sign seen by one of our adorable clients
| in a millinery shop:
WANTED: Girls to Trim Rough Sailors.
Phil Gibbs Pays His Respects to the Dish
"one young man boarded the train at
| New York, bought me drawing room for
| private conversation, and by the time we
| reached philadelphia made Il entirely futile
| for me to give a lecture because he had