The Washington herald., 1919-05-15

New York, May A-Consider the
cucumber cootie. In some circles the
cucumber cootie Is known as the
pickle cootie-but at any rate death
war has been declared. This fact
was officially announced at meet
ing of the National Pickle Packers
Association in New York.
The packle pickers. or rather the
packle packers, or. We should say
darn these euphonic tangles). the
pickle packers say that unless the
pickle cootie is extcrminated the price
Of pickles will be about the same as
a jigger of caviar.
The outlook for sauerkraut was also
gone into, since 1t is also u product
handled by the picked men-pardon.
pickle men-and there seemed to be
a feeling that II Germany signed those
papers, kept its neck clean and be-
haved like a little Rollo II might re-
sumo its old name OF sauerkraut and
put aside its nom de guerre Of liberty
cabbage.
The very first announcement made
by President Ivan Josephs. than whom
there is no more fastidious pickle
packer, was that the war on the
pickle cootie last year was vigorous;
but, even at that, half OF the Long
Island pickle crop was destroyed and
every home In the Bronx was sad
dened thereby.
Experiment stations have already
been opened at Riverhead. l. l., BY
some big pickle men. and at Green
lawn by the Packle Picklers-there
we go again!-the Pickle Packers As
sociation. Several cootie experts from
Cornell are to invent serums that will
end the life of the sturdiest OF coolies.
Those present at the packers asso-
citation were inclined to think the crop
this year would be successful. how
ever. and that. all things considered
the outlook was ''vey delicatessen, :"
as Sam Bernard would say.
A packle-er, pickle shortage would
work a great hardship among the
kiddies of the East Side. Dill pickles
sell over there for a penny. and pickle
peddler5 sell them from little peram-
bulating kegs from the curb. Thus
every East Side child hopes the pickle
packers project plans precluding pests
! polluting product-Whoa! what the
Copeland Townsend, the hotel man.
often goes back to his home town in
Oconomowoc, Wis, to see the village
characters. This year he arrived just
as the last term of school was open
ing at the village school He dropped
around and a teacher in the first grade
was asking the name OF a new pupil
She came to one youngster whose
father was noted for his profanity,
and said: What is your name7''
Jack Barton" was the reply.
do you know your a-b-c's?"
Hell, no: I've only been here five
minutes" was the astonishing reply.
She was a pretty. short-haired. long
! shocked telephone operator and coat
check girl at an eating place in Green
wich village. A woman / admire very
much sat near enough to the low
doorway to watch her as she checked
coats and hats, switched numbers on
and OF. and blew rings Of smoAe
from her cork-tipped cigarettes.
81 wonder how she spends her
days" the woman unused. Does she
write. or paint. or pose?"
Just then a girl in furs, supping at
one Of the tables. rose. crossed the
room and asked the girl: My dear,
I've just ripped my stocking I won
der II you have a needle and thread?"
Il had one once" said the girl. but
1 guess it's gone. You cannot keep
anything around here"
"Oh. that is too bad. Is there a
shop near where ] could buy it?"
81 really don't know" the girl re-
piled. IT don't live here. 1 live out
in the country and lust come in here
every day-to work"