The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1919-11-20

! prevails III lue IilSn iSiSloh SisD
with moving pictures, food and par
| ties. 1t is my intention after election
| to do away with these friyolities and
substitute for them various serious
/ papers on dignified subjects which ]
/ will read to you. (Here place hand
on chest and frown.)
"Ah, my dear friends, l know you
will support me. l know that the
| majority Of you are above the carnal
] pleasures that the last administra-
| ton has served you. Let us unite.
and. in the words OF that famous
statesman whom you all know, l
insist that you do as say
Carlson"
In Behalf of Dark Horse.
Mr.. Jorstad then made his own
speech, which was delivered with
! Just the proper amount Of ginger
and humor. He said:
"Fellow members of the High Ten.
| sion club:
II have been asked to say few
words in behalf of the dark horse
candidates.
1T was a great disappointment to
| me that the leader of one of the other
u
| fully prepared speech, copy Of
| which found lying on the floor at
| the rear of the room. 1t was evil
IDENTIFY case of cold feet, for this
sheet bears the name Carlson and
must have been written by the presi-
Dental candidate on either the I. w
w. or bolshevikf ticket I think it
would be fair to my opponents II I
To vOu
(Here Mr.. Carlson's brilliant ora
! ton was ready
"If the author of this speech will
call on me after the meeting, I'll be
glad to return it to him so that it
may be preserved.
81 have here the platforms of the
bolshevik and I. w. w. parties.
These sheets having served their pur-
pose on one of the bulletin boards,
took the liberty to bring them along
so that might call your attention to
! some of the most important points
in their platforms.
"You will note that they have put
on camouflage. trying to convince
you that the initials Of the presiden-
tial candidate on the bolshevik ticket,
G. W., stand for good work, while.
as a matter of fact. 1t means gone
wrong" The candidates on the |.
w. W. ticket have employed similar
methods. and they would have you
believe that the initials of their
presidential candidate, I. r., denotes
imperial regent but let me remind
you this-that ]. r. also stands for
impudent rascal who would try to
deceive you and lure you into voting
his ticket.
For Higher Salaries.
Look at that first plank. Double
the present salaries of High Tension
club officers I'm certain you will
not allow that And their last plank:
Place penalty on all members who
do not shave, which imposes fur.
Their tax on some Of our most promi.
nent members.
Now that you are familiar with
yourselves whether or not they fill
your requirements.
"As a matter of fact, platforms are
thing of the past--in the class with
hoopskirts, buggy rides and those
things. No well-informed candidate
would offer such platform to an
intelligent group Of men such as we
have in the High Tension club.
(Mr. Mccoy, the carpenter for the
/. w. w. platform, was heard to
make this statement: why, l built
that platform, out Of No. 2 lumber,
full of knots and checks no plank is
strong enough to support candidate
of any weight, but then guess
good coat of paint will make it look
4 all right for one night.o)
1--WE make no promises, but rely
on past achievements to convince the
| observant voter.
"Mr Brady and Mr.. Murphy have
| asked me: Since when did the
| Swedes worm their way into politics,
| monopolizing first place on both
! tickets? The first thing we know
! they will be trying to nonopolize all
! the jobs on our police forces
Trolley Ride TO Cemetery
az have heard thatIin the event
either of our opponents is elected to
| office, orr annual excursions on the
| Mississippi, always great pleasure
!, to us all viii be converted into a
/ trolley ride to the cemetery. Shall
/ we sit meekly by and permit this?
(, my friends, / want to impress
upon you the Importance of voting
the dark horse ticket. I feel abso-
| lutely safe in saying to each and
every one of you that to vote for the
dark horse candidates is to be as
| sured that you will be proud of your
selection"
After this the ballots were passed
and the voting done. While the count
Of the ballots was being made. sew
eral reels of interesting pictures
were shown, with more music by the
orchestra.
Great silence prevailed when Mr..
Murphy arose to announce the re.
turns OF the election. Numerous
votes were sparsely sprinkled among
the various members of the com
1 panies However, as each return
came in, it was quickly noticed that
the dark horse ticket had carried
| every office by an enormous plu