El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-07-26

Of the mosquitoes In the country. think
OF the wild waves and the sunburns
think Of the nay fever which comes
from the bonny highlands
Think Of these terrible atrocities
and you will be happy TO do your Dill
in this great cause You viii send
your man on your vacation gladly
You will bid him goodby with a smile
You may miss him for a while, but
you won't miss your morning grape
fruit and you WON'T get poison ivy on
your hands or fishhooks N your togas
IF your business Is flourishing and
/ requires the attention Of your en-
tire personnel. you might confer with
your efficiency expert 10 see about
putting on q professional vacation
taker.
This man could take vacations for
your whole force and save consider
able inconvenience for yourself and
employees
Take for instance-the case Of D.
S. J--prominent business man. Mr. J.
is a busy man You can't get around
that he supplies merchandise TO
thousands OF persons. This tires hin
out considerably And II takes Up
about all his time. and what with a
few dinner engagements with young
women OF his acquaintance. q man, ne
says confidentially, doesn't get much
time for foolishness like vacations
Mr.. J. Is right
take up his problem with his secre-
tary. Nr. J. would have. But his
secretary the week before had Joined
the BOlsheviki. planted = few bombs
in the postmaster's little brown mall
bag and was singing Murray for Free
Soup and Nobody Knows How
Tough I am" when the police de-
scendsd upon him Audit Is a great
sorrow 20 say 1.-THE secretary Is now
taking a sea voyage 70 his old family
friends.
ar J. was sorry. but could The
Herald suggest something else2
The advice was 10 go 70 motion
picture show where traTelogs are
Shown Mr.. J. said he had already
done this. but the last time he had
n.o 9 a terrible mistake. He had gone
iIlprepared. He thought the picture
was a south sea island tour and he
had bedecked himself accordingly and
they put on a picture Of Alaska IN
Winter" The poor fellow nearly froze
20 death and It was with great diff
Guilty he was rescued from his seat
and led TO his taxi. and res1scitated
with tavorite nectar from bis cellar
We'll. there's still julius" The Her
lave you seen a drowning nan
! l elutchlng at q straw7
Thus Mr.. J.
He says his vacation was q great
success julius. his office boy. kindly
consented to 20 on Mr.. Us vacation
julius. who returned to his desk few
days ago. looking ike the wreck Of
the overpoetized Hesperus. passed
three weeks In the wilds. earnestly
seeking &c recuperate his employers
waning health He reports ne was
pronounced delectable By 7.Sls.sS4 OF
the largest mosquitoes that ne has
ever had occasion to meet
julius advocates vacations In win
ter TO avoid bug evils" attendant on
camping For those who must take
their trips to the mountains IN the
summer. however. he recommends the
following. practiced with success on
his camping trip:
The stranEest sensation he says,
is that OF awaking In the Silly night
to the discovery that an ant Is walk
ing southwark on ones bosom Find
ing II impossible to locate the animal
with the human hand. there are other
means OF exterminatinK the creature
Try this Tell yourself a funny story
and laugh heartily the while This
movement Of the ribs and diaphragm
viii cause the ant to become uncer-
tain on his feet lose his equilibrium
and thus die.
Another way Is: When one finds
a mountain ant scampering down the
chest. suddenly expand the lungs
This viii raise the floating ribs and
cause q huge hollow over the stomach
The ant plugging hurriediy southwark
win hurtle ever the precipice and
break his neck"