davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Should Learn to speak English

T think foreigners who come into our midst to live ought to be willing to learn to speak English" said Smith Cullom. T have come in contact with many of them who have taken little pains to ac- quire our language. I happen to recall an instance of a well-to-do business man, foreigner, who had lived here eight years, and yet he couldn't speak any English at all. Many foreigners make good citizens but with our war experi- ence we should see to it that those who dwell in our midst should learn the language and become naturalized."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
EXIT OF THE SUPERMAN-By Frank Willis Barnett

into the ears of the German people until they turned their back on the cross of Christ and worshipped at the shrine of Mars.
 Nietzsche was never tired of poking fun and shrieking with unholy glee) at the whole submissive teaching ot the Christian church, Tho beatitudes came in for his bitter reviling. The Sermon on the Mount was but the vaporings of a gentle enthusiast of no practical worth and not to be taken seriously by thinkers who were bask- ing in the rays of German kultur. He felt that the moralities of the Maya rene were enervating. This is why he hated the beatitudes, for they got on his nerves.
 The Nietzschean theory fits in per- fectly with autocracy, but 1t would not live in democracy. It was one of his criminal doctrines that only through the enslavement of the many can the great development of the few bs achieved. To show just what manner of man he was and to give an idea of how his mind worked I have only to cite his saying, Slavery is the es- sence of kultur,' to show mankind just what it has been saved from oy the shackling of the Kaiser.
 Nietzsche spoke patronizingly of Je-, sus, the founder of little Jewishi sect" but the damnable teachings o4 the man whose words corroded the. hearts of the Germans will die as they ought and will, but the luminous gos- pei of the Carpenter of Nazareth hasl within it the power to save the world\ and make it a fit place for democracy flor it exalts the common man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
THE VANISHED MINSTREL

From the Indianapolis News.
 What has become of the old-time fel- low who entertained his community with what was known as music on the French harp? To be sure these harps were made in Germany. as rule. but they were always called French. Now and again one sees--and hears-one of these performers in vaudeville shows. Occa- sionally a man appears who not only manages harp but plays guitar with his hands and beats set of drums with his feet
 In the little towns there used to be many French harp players. and one al
 ways stood out above the rest. As 2 rule he worked in the livery stable, and after he had manicured the horses, bathed the best girl buggies, folded the laprobes, put aNay the whips and greased the harness. he wiped his hands on his trousers and reached for his hir pocket where he kept his eating tobacco and his French harp On summer after noons he sought the shady side of the barn. tilted back his chair and fitted his feet to the lower rung In his cupped hands he placed his Preach harp and produced sounds. both going and com ing.
 1 Soon there came a little knot-of people
 who enjoyed the product of the mouth
 organ. First he played Home. Swee
 Home" then he gave "The Irish Wash
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
SMALL ODDS AT THAT

From tme Cincinnati Enquirer.
 Private H. H. Hall sends us the fol- lowing from France:
 Two Irishmen, members of British regiment, were pretty we'll liquored uN and in going back to their trenches wandered into a German dugout by mistake. dugout, all asleep. One of the Irish men grabbed his gun and was about tc start in slaughtering the sleeping Huns. when the other Irishman grab bed him by the arm and said:
 Don't kill them while they are aslape. Pat. Wake them up and give them a chance"f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

It is funny that a man is never as regular in his good habits as he is in his bad habits
 The fresh eggs may come from tho country. But the fresh chickens come from the city.
 Even when woman is wearing a black veil that is as thick as brick wall she can't help worrying for fear her nose is shiny.
 Some men worry more over what they owe to their ancestors than they do over what they owe to their creditors.
 The reason why a woman feels mis- erable all the time she is away on a trip is because when she gets back she is going to telp everybody what a splen- did time she had.
 And just because a man is buying wine for the lunch is no sign that his wife has money enough to get his breakfast with
 ister imagines he has to wear such a long face when he is preaching eternal happiness. tgFa
 As a man grows older the still small voice of conscience gets stiller and smaller.
 Ever since printing began the men who need watching have tried to muzzle the press. And ever since drinking began the men who tried to guzzle it all have tried to keep the other fellow from get ting any.
 Hooray! Now that prohibition is inn pending the kindly drug companies have agreed to reduce the price of car bolic acid 10 per cent. One thing we liked about lot of re- cent jail deliveries was that they were to and not from. Babies and dogs are now barred from fashionable apartment houses. And we suppose that after July the drys in pow CT will see to it that goldfish are added toa the prohibited list. It would never | do to have anything as wet as goldfish around flat, setting horrible exam pie to the tenants. l We do not know much. But the min ute man tells As that he isn't super stitious we mentayv class him as dam {, lire. We have our faults. But we never err I joy ed friends funeral because it gave us chance to get an afternoon off. Young unmarried girls are mighty flr and chipper when there are men around ! It takes a widow to act as if she had uever even spoken to man before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

If rum running" between Ohio and Michigan continues to increase in vol tune it will be necessary to widen the roadways and doube-track all single rail lines.
 If Poland ever does get a stable gov ernment, Paderewski will feel like sit ting down and playng a nocturne, which, we understand, is something soothing. -- Society women at Florida resorts are carrying around goats as pets. We venture to assume that the goats have been detached from their primitive odor.
 Those spring styles in mems suits may be just too sweet for anything but what do the clothing makers take us fora nation of chorus men?
 
 'T fought with Pershing'' will be an "open sesame" for years to come, but who's going to brag about having fought with Won Hindenburg?
 # # <
 With becoming modesty Birmingham submits to the publicity she has gained by having the largest illicit distillery ever found in southern city.
 x # #
 What does it profit town to name square in honor of military hero if it has no street cleaning department to keep the place tidy? s,at2
 as # F
 Almost any American army officer who fought on the western front can make the average congressional inves- tigator look foolish:
 E x *
 The George Washington could well afford to dispense with convoy. since the U-5s long ago ceased to terrorize American shipping.
 !. T x What we don't understand is how Clemenceau is going to recover with a distinguished visitor dropping in about every 15 minutes.
 * x x
 We predicted that President Wilson would spend the weekend in the Unit ed States. He's going to stay 2 week Not a bad guess. * E < You'd think, to read Professor Cor betts commiserating remarks on lat. ter-day pugilism, that he was abou 103 years old
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
HIS PET GRIEVANCE

A grabbed man is William Bitts, Who gives the corporations fits; They never do single thing to suit
 him.
 You'd think. to hear this fellow talk. Were there no laws their crimes to balk. They'd take him out some early morn
 and shoot him. All men of wealth, he says are crooks. He wonders how the nation brooks Their robberies and criminal conniving; They put competitors to rout And drive the little dealers out And take away his only hope of thriv-
 ing.
 Now if you want to make Bill hot, 'Tis quickly done; just ask him what Becomes of us and all the other nations Without the men who do and dare And have no time to warm 8 chair In other words, the wicked corpora
 tions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

have referred to William II as the make out good case that he was suf- fering from what the French call de lire de grandeur" although it may not have evidenced itself physically in the dread form of the disease, yet it has cropped out in ways psychological on which the great modern Caesar was feeding" However, it is not my in- tention to drag in here the pathology of Lombroso to show the narrow mar gin between sanity and genius. man may be criminally insane in his was or he would never have plunged the world into war.
 I said in story that the present defeat of Germany had put war as the national industry of Prussia on the toboggan. Now I wish to stress the fact that the teachings of the great Teacher are proving themselves eternally true and capable of world wide application. If this be untrue, then the victory of the allies is yet in- complexion making the world sate for democracy will not bring a lasting peace unless it be undergirt by re- ligion.
 If German kultur had have won for the time, the material would have dominated over the spiritual, for it was a cardinal teaching of the arch enemy of Christianity, Nietzsche, that the time of what he was pleased to call slave morality" must give way to master morality" This was the bur
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
.YANKs. GOT HOT CHOCOLATE

From the Stars and Stripes, France
 With the American Army of Occupa- ton. Andernach, Germany.-How a Ger man cafe proprietor was forced to aban- don the sale of beer to the fraus and herrs of the village so that he could serve hot chocolate to the American sol diers as they marched by on their way into Germany is one of the stories of the advance of the Thirty-second division.
 It happened at Andernach. c. P. Kelp- man, Y. M. c. A. secretary attached to the division, could find no convenient place in the village from which to serve hot chocolate to the men as they tramped by worn out from their long march. Then he came upon a cafe admirably situated by the roadside. Here the bartender and proprietor at first refused to exchange the joys of drawing deep foamed beer for the milder thrill of, pouring hot choc- olate for the men in khaki
 "Nein, nein!' he remonstrated disdain- fully. "It is beer I serve. Heiss choko- lade-that is a drink for old women!'
 guess you oiuh Set me, the I M. c. A. man told him. '"The American soldiers want hot chocolate And the American soldiers have got to have wha, they want"
 Herr Bartender said no more. Silently he poured the chocolate made by the Y M c. A. man and with resignation ht accepted the small fee that he was per mitted to charge. But there was a mel ancholy and meditative look in hi. eyes. It seemed to occur to him for tn. first time that when a man could be torl from beer pouring thus it must be tha Germany had been beaten in the war!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
Obedience to the Law

"A few years back when the prohibi- ton question was a live topic in poll tical circles and Birmingham had just gone dry" said Paul Barnett, some friends of mine were in a well known Greek restaurant and asked the pro- prietor if it would be possible to get a bottle Of beer. He said, No. am a good citizen; if the law say you no sell beer, no sell him, if it say you no sell cof- fee, then I no sell it. He had the right country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

'-The superman," after having play ed such fantastic tricks before high heaven as to make the angels weer,' has made his exit amid the laughter and curses of mankind.
 Neitzsche, the discredited, supplied a. motto to the title page of militarist book by the German general, Bern hardi, War and courage have done bor" I wonder what the exiled Kaiser thinks of this sentiment, now that his supermen were beaten all along the line with just ordinary. everyday fel- lows. who had job to do and did it?
 It seems strange that nation could have fallen down and worshipped the ideal of this "superman,' and yet this is the obsession which overlook Ger many and laid her low, until today she is a byword and a mockery on the lips of the great powers of the world which have put a ring in her nose while she is led into the paths of peace.
 s'
 Now Nietzsche, the author of the ideal of the fighting superman, and whose bitter mock cries of the teachings of the lowly Nazarene grated on the hearts of believing Christians, came at last to the madhouse imagining that he was famous murderer he was the King of Italy, he was God. This was but divine justice for his blasphemies in endeavoring to create a type of citizens steeped in pagan virtues and ready to crush out the weak and the unfit. fa ffn
 For years there have been those who
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

Lowell? Was there anybody-and here
 even Mr. Arthur Gilman must be over
 crowed-who was as much of a connois-
 seur in the Yankee dialect or could tell a
 Yankee story as we'll? In "Fireside
 Travels" MT. Lowell remembers the
 classic expression of the Snow Twins,
 the village oyster1nen, locution whose
 Grecian, Professor Felton, that oyster
 eater with Rufus Choate and Thackeray.
 When 'ysters are good, they air good.
 and when they ain't they isn't' In the
 dark backward and abysm of time the
 Charles used to be navigable to seals.
 The one almost impossible piece of Yan-
 kee dialect, which, however Lowell all
 ways stood up for was a dialogue be- tween two countrymen viewing the seals from the bridge. Wal, neaow, be them kind O critters common up this way, do ye s'pose D Wal, dunno's they be, an dunno ez they be-
 When MT. Lowell wrote "The Bislow Papers, the second part of which in particular contains some of his most 
 passionate patriotism, he expressed the feelings and the language of race that ] seems impossible now shrewd, ironic, laughing in the inside. retaining in their speech tang and salience one hardly finds in more sophisticated and retned languages. The old farmers who wanted their tea strong enough to bear up a H~1 OR ~%,,, t~v and wisdom. They talked familiarly and often irreverently the language of the Old Testament in the King James yer sion. Tho Riglow Papers is surely MT Lowell's best work. There are great
 lines and stanzas in ''The Commemora-
 tion Ode" but it was written hurriedly
 There are some curious lapses and jejuni- ties in 1t. And, as MT. Swinburne told
 MT. Stedman. there is little music in it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

From the New York Times.
 11 T was not the least of many felicities
 II in MT Lowell's life that he was born
 tive, homogeneous village of Cambridge.
 folks were still used to the "Cornwallis." "
 MT. Lowell recalls somewhere the Ameri-
 cans in one of those festivals, compelled
 by the apparent necessity of their part,
 representatives of the surrenderers at
 Yorktown, so nobly full of American pa-
 triotism or good old New England rum
 that, they refused to surrender, insisted
 on conquerering, and came very near jab-
 ping the Washingtonans in the midst.
 In that hamlet, so near to the Revolution,
 not only the Washington Elm and the
 route of Percy's soldiers and the spikes that Burgoyne's prison men hung their
 hammocks on, but the whole story, al least so far as it affected New England, of the Revolution, was absolutely con- temporary Old continental soldiers, some of them humbugs, one fears, were ex- tremely visible and audible. Mr. Lowell. in one of those delightful commentaries on nothing in particular, wherewith. walking thoughtfully up and down an absurd little platform in University hall, he used to illustrate the Divine Comedy or the Song of Roland, loved to tell of the pontifical ambitions of 1774 There was little bit of bridge over not the great est river in the world. though the Cha rles running s'crinkling sunninesS like Helens hair, seemed so to many villagers. The Americans were so proud of that bridge that they could not bring themselves to destroy it. They just tooA off the blanks and left the frame. The licentious English soldiers replaced the blanks in few minutes, but the bridge was saved.
 Was there anybody quite as devoted to that old vanished race of Yankees as MT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

In "The Washers of the Shroud,' in ths] noble lines. Lowell was fortunately born ; that is. he was sprung of race of peo- pie interested in intellectual things. and1 on the whole, rather poor than rich. H
 married on some absurd sum, $5e0 year perhaps. He was rather lazy than other wise. and he never quite brought the besy of himself out In his essays there is a kind of old-fashioned pedantry that one does not dislike. He understood his weak { nesses in this respect, and jeered him self elaborately in Parson Wilbur.
 The man himself, in his Cambridge manifestation and not merely as a man of the great London world of his diplos matic and after-diplomatic days, was more than the poet, the professor, .editor| of the Atlantic, man of letters. With' some affectations. he had great genuint
 native qualities. He was a child of the Yankee soil. Old memories may be per -saitted to think of him this February a
 he used to be seen in so many old FebA ruarys, recklessly marrying a tailles
 coat to a tall hat, marching steadily and cheerily through that intolerable Cam bridge frost and mud. There would b4 tears in those bright .eyes, but he woul'V not condescend to weakness. Like Han nibal Hamlin, he would never consent to an overcoat. Where he got that pre- posterous, unique straw hat, sole and un.' matcha hlo with which ho crounod him self in summer, no sociologist could ever find out. "Old" Lyons, village Can tabrigian of great experience, proprietoEt of the billiard hall in the old postoffice, used to say: Man and boy I've lived in Cambridge two or three thousand yearsl as he happened to put it. and the snobi is about as thick as the mud; but Jin1 Lowell is democrat through and through" '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

erwoman," and, if sufficiently urged, he would perform Listen to the Mocking Bird with variations of his own com position. That was music. sublime and inspiring, but it seems to have passed. Perhaps the passion for mechanical music has been too great for the mouth organ to combat. The small town livery stable probably is now equipped with a piano player. instead of the minstrel who seems to have vanished.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
Busiest Day of Year

'Yesterday was the best day in the year." said Harry Norris, proprietor of the Sanitary market. "and we were kept very busy all day long. There is some reduction in produce and fresh meats, but the high prices have in no way hurt lots of money and are willing to pay for what they get
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
THE HAPLEss SCHOOL MARM

From the Chattanooga Times.
 The Birmingham Age Herald says that the chorus girl is paid for what shs shows" and the school marm for what she knows" This. that paper thinkS accounts for the discrepancy in the pay of the two. meaning. we suppose. that the public still values some kinds of shows more than they do knowledge. We knew it was something. for the school marms do not get enough for the ser vice they render.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
MOTHERS HAPPY THOUGHT

From the Kansas City Star.
 small child in Wichita ran away the mysteries the mother had presence Of mind to turn in fire alarm, hoping the child would see the fire department on a run, and would follow 1t home. The plan was successful in every way, although it did not make much of hit with the firemen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
THE UNIVERSAL DESIRE

From the Globe and Anchor.
 "Elmer pears to like it pretty we'll v said the fond mother in the midst of her perusal of letter from her son at a cantonment. "He says he gets good food and plenty of it, but still he'd like to sit down at the table here at h9ne with a thick. juicy steak before him. with cream gravy, well bsowned fried potatoes and lot of other things. and wind up with lemon pie with inch thick frosting on it."
 Good Lord!' calculated her husband would IT.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
MOTHER O. MINE

By Kipling. If I were hanged on the highest hill, Mother O mine. O, Mother O. mine; I know whose sighs would come up t
 me still,
 Mother Q mine. o. Mother O mine! r. were drowned in the deepest sea, Mother O mine. o, Mother O mine; know whose tears would come dowl
 to me,
 Mother O mine. O. Mother O mine. If I were damned. both body and soul. Mother O mine, O, Mother O mine, knew whose prayers would make m
 whole,
 Aothsx .o' naine, Q. Mother q mine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
MISS SIMPLICITY


 MISS SIMPLICITY 'I wish to be loved for myself alone" I" said the heiress.
 Highly commendable, my dear. But how could you conceal your identityy' "Oh. wish could go somewhere and live simply under an assumed name. with just my maid and a single motor car, so nobody would suspect that my father was worth more than million or two. {"
 NO, INDEED What do you think of this multimil- honaire who says he like to be a care free tramp?" 'I'll answer that question by asking one"
 "wen?
 Did you ever hear of anybody sing ing, T Want to Be an Angel who really meant it?"
 REMORsE 50 you were in a German prison camp?p
 Yes"
 How was the food there?" Don't ask me to answer a question like that, but I'll say this much. If l ever run across the old lady used to board with'-overcome by the .recollec- tion of the mean remarks he used to make about those Sunday night suppers of cold ham and grits, the returned doughboy applied a handkerchief to his eyes and hastily walked away.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
Capt. Henley Coming Tuesday

T have just received cabegram from my son, Capt. Courtney Henley, that he will arrive in New York on Tuesday" said Mrs. John c. Henley. 'He had the honor of coming back on the George Washington, which bore the President
 | am overjoyed at the thought of his home coming. It grieves me to know that he lost leg. but I am thankful that his 1ifa vas sno rod o 9Ts fss SdI {.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, would ask not that Thou shalt give me thus and so, but that Thou shalt make me thus and so. I would ask grace; not for more things, but for more power and cOntentment in the use of what I have; not for gifts to descend upon me. but for graces to arise out of me. In Christ's name. Amen--H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
pr. Earl Drennen Returns

T have made three trips overseas and
 am glad to be back again. said pr. w.
 Earl Drennen, who arrived Friday from headquarters at Chaumont France. .'I came over on the Rotterdam. I have been in the service for 26 months, and in that time I have been shifted about con siderably It seems hardly possible, but there was a time when I had an office and kept office hours and my time was my own. I have been glad to do my bit and feel that the experience was well worth while''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-23
Dr. billiard Going To Auburn

q am looking forward with great pleasure to speaking to the student body down at Auburn said Dr. James F. billiard, pastor of the Southside Baptist church. T am to be there on Friday night I also have an engagement for Thursday to speak to the laymen at Parker Memorial church, Anniston. l find that if a preacher is willing he can get all the chances he may wish to run round over the state making addresses. But I do not object to it I look upon it as an opportunity for service"