The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-12
WHEN WAS PLAYOFF
 OF PHRATES-REDS
 GAME WON ANYWAY?

On July 27 Cincinnati and Pitts burgh finished a game started on July G. On the former date the score stood at the end of the sixth in ming to in favor of the Reds On the latter date the score at the end of the ninth inning was to 1. The question arose as to whether the Reds won the game on July or 27. Seeing that the question involved the same sort of a snarl as the three four round dispute of the Dempsey Willard contest, in which so many rOugh-necks and rude persons took part without a satisfactory concIu- sion We decided to put the question before eminent academicians and we herewith give their views:
 The first person interviewed was Professor Bonenean, the famous as- trologist. "I perceive" the professor began, most vital consequences in this question in view of the dispute on the daylight saving bills now be- fore Congress. On July 9th the solar projection at the time the game was called was of the libration while on July 2Ith there were solar protu- berances which created nebula in Or lon having direct effect upon spe- cific gravitataion of the ball. On the 9th the Cincinnati team held the line of the Equinoxes whereas on the 2fth they were in the axis of the elliptic; therefore the question is simply one of lunar synodical de- duction.'
 To further elucidate the question Tor our readers we sought an in terview with Professor Adamant skull the world-famous pathoIo- gist.
 T appreciate" said Professor Skull. that you do not wish a formal in- terV1ew; you have merely come to puttonhole me as the fans would ex- press It. GA chuc<le from Professor SkuIL) ''EnterologicaIly speaking the epidermis of the sphere which the oatsman impinges produces a reflex hyperextension which varies accord ing to the humidity prevailing I am choosing my words carefully to make the matter clear to the laymind; thus the neurological status of the idiopa- thatfc subluxation was anemic on July 9th due to the diminishing cal ories in the food serveo ac 1,ttts- burgh hotels Fermentation in the gastric processes of the dietic assimiI- ation was of a more perky order in Cincinnati and being diluted with beer, the players on the 27th were
 
 term, more happy"
 Not feeling that even this made the answer conclusive, we secured an in tervfew with Professor Avery PiffIe the eminent psychologist, wno ex- pressed his views thus:
 ''I do not agree with those authori- ties who find a metaphysical relation between this question and that of Shantung merely because they both attach to leagues. In fact, I think the covenant may be ratified separately from this question One factor, now ever, to which I give great weight is that in both games the Cincinnati team wore red hose which were con sfderably soiled on the 27th because of a previous game. This is a phe- nomenon which arises within the do main of superconscious cogency and in the terminology of speculative philosophy in subjective ego. Volitior and introspection in their several psychic categories carry the research into the limbo of the empirical and makes it evident to the psycho-ana- list that the subject has close fdio- pathic association with Bolshevism.'
 When I returned to the office tel ephoned to all the professors and ask ed if there was any academic objec- ton to stating that Cincinnati wor the game and they all authorized me to so quote them.