The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-12-08

And so on, ad lib. My word
Now and then a specimen hangs
on and achieves immortal fame.
with no intent 10 bcliitie tho In
tellcct throbbing beneath its ivory
hrmor. We viii endoavor. In this issue,
20 act forth Ia plain and truthful
words tho durable quality OF certain
specimens that have come under our
obscrvntson--the idea being rather 20
behold with awe the manner in which
bencficen; nature protects the de
voices OF our noble pas;irne.
Once Upon n Time
Once upon a time Hugh Jennings
made n running dive into a concrete
bathing tank that had been cmptied
Of water. He struck the solid bottom
on his head and reboundcd from the
concrete az the same angle at which
he went In. Perhaps you have seen
sawiog shunicd into n mill pond.
the log disappears and then back out
Of the hole q made In the water so.
ing under.
And on still another occasion.
while walking along In Detroit. hold.
Ing converse with an ndmircr, a
glass paper weight dropped from an
office window. hit Mr.. Jennings on
tho head and caromed off into space.
Hugh interrupted the thread OF dis
course long enough TO observe that
no wouldn't employ a stenographer.
male or female. who ate peanuts dur
INK office hours.
Let us turn back TO Frank Bower.
man FOR absolute confirrnatio OF the
doctrine we are expounding. A riot
broke out at the finish OF n Philly.
Giant game at Philadelphia. MIR
Bowcrman. in uniform. was taking
his ease IN the rear seat OF an open.
faced hack outside the park. n half
consumed cigar In his teeth.
When the mob surged thru the
exit. member in good standing
sneaked behind the hack. removed
Mr.. Bowerrnan's baseball cap and
whangcd him on the dome with n pop
bottle. The only result was 20 Jar
the ashes off the cigar. In be
wildered alarm the rloter replaced
Mr. Bowerman's cap and threw away
OF no further use TO him.
Real Puzzle
For many years we have been puz.
zled TO know why the assassin lifted
the cap from the head OF the victim
before walloping him. One might as
well yank the cast iron laurel wreath
from a statue prior to tRckling the
hero with hammer.
And so. continuing this line OF re
Election. we come TO Bin Sweeney,
now n brilliant and successful insur.
ance man m Boston. Four or five
years ago. when BIN was with the
Cubs, he peddled accident insurance
to the athletes and carried a Se5
policy himself
one day. while backing under a tall
pop fly near second base. Bill tripped
over his own feet and sat down.
Thus. with the earth beneath him
for a solid foundation. the BAN
smote Bin on the skull and squirted
away to the grandstand. in a word
the rising young insurance agent
butted out a two-bagger for the bats
ha.AA WIN Ht'dth u lNO'htkEtF inc
worst way--and got IL.
Needless Overhead Expense
That night Mr.. Sweeney Cancelled
his own accident policy by wire, feel
ing that he was carrying needless
overhead expense. but Bin continued
to insure sterling athletes who had
never tested out their skulls except
in an occasional. isolated. sporadic
mental exploit which generally sent
them back to the ivory jungles
whence they came.
IL is with pleasure we announce.
also in this issue. that today Bill is
cleaning up $4,000 per annum in the
insurance game. and that as soon as
he got out OF baseball for good he
renewed his personal accident policy.
Some head.
An ivory hunter In tho amateur
class n couple of seasons back. dis. |
covered whirlwind third baseman |
NJ Grand Rapids. Mich. The phenom. |
whose name was Taylor. ran wild on |
hitting. fielding and base running !
stunts. It's n wonder the big league
hadn't grabbed him long ago. While |
the performances OF the phenom got |