The Washington herald., 1919-10-19
Such Is Life
As 1t Is Seen
By O. B. JOYFUL

None of our one-arm auto drivers
have a warm spot In their hearts for
Justice of the Peace werremeyer. of
Clayton. Mo. Nor for Constable
Schoenbien and Deputy Constable
Roth. both OF Clayton. too.
All of them are roofing for Ed
Francis. who Is n one-arm driver
and. take It from the young lady
In the case. "a good one"
1t looks much Like II was going
to be a showdown on the PROPOSE
tion that one-arm driving. is reck-
less driving.
The case has all the ear marks
of becoming one OF those celebrated
causes such as Dumas used to write
about, for II the defendant loses II
puts the finishing touch on automo-
bile courting and will make autoing
with ones best girl just about as
exhilarating as 1t used to be when
one went buggy riding and had to
keep both hands on the reins.
Ed and his best girl were motor
ing along Claytonward when Ed
was pinched and fined for reckless
driving
only one hand on the steering
wheel the constable testified, 10Th
rer was around the young lady" e..
The other arm?- smiled the
young man. sure. I don't mind tell
ing you; 1t was on the back of the
seat. and I guess IL she didn't care
It was no skin OF the constable's
nose"
However. the constable seemed to
think IL was Skin of his nose and
as We remarked. pinched Ed. nick
ing his pocketbook to the tune Of
1880. The case goes to a higher
court not because Ed thought so
much of $3.50. but because he wants
to. have it legally established by a
higher court that one-arm driving
goes with the law IL the young lady
doesn't object
And in Chicago. in the summer of
1878, some smart Aleck- city COPS
best girl, drove down State street.
He had one hand on the reins and
the other about the girl. so -she
couldn't fall out going round the
corner" he explained to the judge.
But the Judge said. -Disorderly con-
duct 81 and COSTS
That young man. too, protested
at the way cops and Judges were
running the buggy-riding industry
for young folks. but before he got
the case settled his way everybody
had sold his buggy to buy tires for
his automobile.
And along in about 1888. or there
abouts. some fresh aerial trafic off,
Ger will pinch a joy-riding couple
because the young man is guiding
hrs airplane with one hand and hug
gingthe girl with the other arm.
But before he gets the case firmly
decided in favor Of the one-arm
aviators. young men will begin TAX
ing their best girls out in some
newer method Of transportation.
and the whole program will have to
get started again.
Which reminds us that an English
prophet has this bunch:
All vehicles, excepting only those
used in transporting freight will be
junked. No more passenger traff1c
on railroads, no need for passenger
airplanes. automobiles or buggies
Indeed. the travel of human beings
practically will cease Everybody
will stay at home. and no shoe
leather will be worn out
It'll be this way:
Humans Will be equipped with in
dividual wireless telephones. so they
can talk with each other thousands 3
of miles apart-no need to run down
to New York. over to London or
Manila to visit or transact business.
Humans will be equipped with a
wireless lens outfit (prophet doesn't
say how or when) which will enable
them to see clear round the world.
See a typhoon in the South Sea, a
gorilla in Central Africa, or a Boil
shevist in Petrograd, just az easily
as one sees the plate on the table at
dinner-no need to race around the
globe to see this thing or that per-
son.
Humans will. by a method now
unknown, shift ocean streams so
that northern countries will be
cooled by Arctic waters. Climate
the same the world over-no need
to go to Palm Beach In winter. and
North in summer. Maybe they'll be
able to get a whiff of the ocean into
Kansas in August by leading it up
the Mississippi and Missouri rivers,
That will be the life, eh boyI