The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-01-22
What Is a
BighbrOW?

If the great and learned
should think themselves or
himself a highbrow we suggest !
looking closer as it's probably !
only a bad case of mango which |
has caused the hair to fall out. |
Scratching the head for ideas
will cause the same result.
But We can't afford to pay for |
advertising space and devote it
to a highbrow essay. Let the
high brows effervesce, bubble
up, gurgle over and fzzle out |
while you, Mr.. and Mrs. Public
and we, slashers of prices, get
down to brass tacks and speel
bit about how you can save a
few iron men on suit, over
coat or mackinaw. For youuns
with red Yankee blood, can't
keep warm on the Kultur of
Mozart, Beethoven or Hayden,
or the product of any other
Hun. You may not need a
muffier for your neck 1T a cut
price for you are probably hot
under the collar already by the
atrocities of Kultur and the
Kaiser.
If you want bargains instead
of bad manners, we're it to a
capital |.
I'VE don't know nothing
about Russian Bolshevism, nor
Hun music but we have got a
strange hold on business prin-
ciples which is to let go when
you're overloaded even if there
'ain't no profit" Unload, that's
US, and we didn't get the prin-
ciple from high brow DRINKS
even though that's their habit.
We once knew a so called
self styled high brow that got
gloriously, uproaringly drunk
and for year thereafter he
was so mad at the cocktails for
what they did to him-a dress
suited, kid gloved high brow
that he wouldn't look a rooster
in the face without splitting at
!, him.
) We maintain it's virtue not
to quarrel with your bad habits.
If whiskey interferes with your
profession, cut out the profess
sion, but for goodness sake,
: don't try to mix 'em and don't
ever take liberties with lam
guage when bubbling with
, liquor.
When we offer $50 overcoats
for $21,75, it seems truly that
! we, ourselves, who never take
I anything stronger than weak
n tea, must be just from the club
. with a skin full of champagne
but we're sober as a Methodist
+: deacon at haying time.
/ We're loaded-that we admit
but it's clothing, not \cock.
tails we're filled with.
/, 1t costs high brow money
to load up (unless he gets his
; load at his friends expense and
then reviles them for the re-
: freshment.) Our expense
, comes in unloading but we've
got to do it, yet we won't re-
, vile you even though you feed
off our proftless sale.
Chickens come home to roost
that's why a mixed drink is
called a cocktail. Beware
as Diamond Dick observes.
Which reminds us that we
have underwear Cat cut prices)
and suits that wear and that
you won't be ashamed to wear
anywhere whether you're a
high brow or a low brow. If
you're too much of a high brow,
you might not be ashamed but
the clothing very likely would,
which reminds us Of a test we
are told the army just made.
1t seems that there were
three soldiers, an Irishman, a
Frenchman and a Hun prisoner
by the name of Beethoven Ca
German high brow music
; hound) and the three offered
!; themselves for a test to see
who could stand the most gas.
A skunk was procured and
placed in a dugout. The French
man went in but could stand it
only two minutes, the Irishman
4 made a stay of five and then in
went Hun Beethoven, singing
7 high brow music. He stayed
five minutes-ten minutes and
: then--out came the skunk.
; We've had about all the Hun
/ II.