Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-01-09
Life's Problems
Are Discussed

a woman has written me a long
letter asking me to explain why
certain fate has seemed to pursue
her through life. She says in effect
that since childhood she has, as it
were, been carefully censored" In
other words, her life has been made
miserable by constant fault-fnding
and criticism from those most close
ly associated with her.
AT first it was an older sister who
tyrannized over her numerically.
She had brief respite when she
went to school, and there found her
self in much more congenial at
mosphere. Her natural gayety of
temperament asserted itself and she
made many friends. But when she
/ invited them to her home, Older Sis
ter resented it and made her disap-
rroval of them felt. She made sar-
; castle comments or their dress, man
ners and conversation, and treated
them with such supercilious conde-
scension thai rhey were careful not
TO repeat their visits
The mother, who was completely
under the influence of Older Sister,
refused to interfere, and poor little
Cinderella was gradually ignored by
those to whom she had become at
tached. She was rich in money. in
youth, in health and good looks; yet
very poor in friends and companions.
The situation become worse as she
became older and attracted suitors.
Then Older Sister, who must have
been frightful character, cut loose.
She was so frankly rude that it took
more courage than most suitors pos
sessed to continue their attentions.
There was one, however, who
seemed positively to enjoy bandying
sarcasms with her. He came again
and again, quite undaunted by Sis
ter's vile manners. And the hero
inc of this true story was so thrilled
/ by his courage that she married him.
Here all should have ended hap
/ PLY. But this is stern realism, not
! romance. The poor lady writes that
she had been married but q short
time when she discovered that Hus-
band was only masculine replica
of Older Sister, and that in this case,
anyway, the female of the species
was not more deadly than the male,
lie. criticized everything she did
and everything she said. lie con-
demned her for all the things she
didn't do and didn't say. If | can
judge by her letter, the poor soul
never knew which were the greater,
her sins of omission or her sins of
commission.
In fact, it would appear that II
Older Sister were a talented nagger
Husband scared far above her and
proved himself a genius in that line.
Finally he died. but he left his un-
fortunate wife legacy in the shape
of an invalid mother-in-law, from
whom he evidently inherited his
powers of fiinging verbal vitriol. The
writer adds that she has become so
self-conscious, constrained and shy
that it is no longer any pleasure for
her to mingle with her fellow beings
and that she would never dare con-
slider the question of a second mar
riage.
1T mas always seemed to me that
the theory of reincarnation is the
only one that satisfactorily explains
the injustices and inequalities of
life. If this theory is true, both
Husband and Older Sister will spend
long ages in paying their debts to
This victim of their bitter and un-
disciplined natures.
There seems to be some law that
the gentle and sensitive man or
woman invariably chooses as a life |
companion one of those robust fiends
whose main purpose is to make |
those about them miserable.
This woman might have spared
herself much suffering If when she
had arrived at years of discretion
she had had one grand, formal row
with Older Sister. Rows, like every
thing else, have their psychology. A
succession of informal ones like
familiarity, breed contempt. Your
opponent sometimes comes out
ahead, and sometimes you do. But
one carefully staged. formal row
one crowded hour of glorious strife
lis almost invariably efficacious.
If my correspondent had said to
her sister This is my home Just as
much as 1t is yours. 7 have just as
much right to receive my friends
here and make them welcome as
you have to receive yours. And
while they are here do not propose
to allow you to make them III at
ease or unhappy by your offensive
manners.
IF you were offering me kindly
advice in sisterly spirit should
appreciate IT,. But you are not You
are merely making me the victim of
your censorious nature, and you cam
not do 1t. From now on until you
show a change of heart and treat
me and my friends with proper
courtesy ] shall utterly ignore you.
II 4 aaaat