davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1919-03-23
Little Tragedies of Married Life

From Vanity Fair
Published BY Permission Of Cant aud Ftammarion.
FdrS3.
First Act: A Tragic Moving Day
Scene: The Apartment of the E,7utic
Husband and his Embittered Wife.
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND.
"HAT was "A great idea just had
to cut all our furniture up into lit
IA tie pieces, like picture puzzle. 1t
enables us discreetly TO remove all
our beongings-now that our lease has ex-
PRED. n few trips, this morning, trans
ported nearly all our furniture into the
new apartment which we are going TO oc-
cupy.
THE EMB1TTERED WIFE
Did not tho janitor notice anything
THE EgRATlC HUSBAND
Not thing. You know that tho pieces OF
furniture are not any larger than humps Of
sugar 1t is quite easy to hide them III one's
pockets. The jenitef saw me so cut Little
did he think that the pockets Of my overcoat
contained bed and the dining room table,
THE EMBlTTERED WIFE
Oh, what life You insane creature! 1t
would be better if you made enough money
to pay your months rent. instead of deform-
ing your pockets by stuffing them full of
furniture.
THE ERRATICi HUSBAND
I? Lazy? Do not blaspheme, madam!
Remember that whenever we move into
new apartment, it takes US nearly two
months and half to piece together the
fragments of our puzzle. Lazy, indeed!
No sooner is all the furniture arranged
than I have to begin thinking again about
transferring it to some new abode
THE EMBITTERED WIFE
Don't chatter so much, but work. You still
have 1885 pieces of the looking glass to
take out, and 5,4o4 pieces OF the lcebOX.
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND
l mustn't waste any time. with the aid
of pair of sugar tongs he removes, ont
by one, all the pieces of glass from the
mirror.) 1t is done now
THE EMBITTERED WIFE
oh
glass in this old newspaper (she counts
the pieces before wrapping them up.)
Seventeen thousand, six hundred and twenty
five - that's right. Put the icebox. as
usual, in your overcoat pocket and let's be
off
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND
Yes Let's be off. On pocketing the ice
box he let's fall few peces.)
THE EMB1TTERED WIFE
Pick them up, clumsy creature, You have
fingers successfully.
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND
4"one 90 MuNh lun VI me as you IKE,
madam. Is 1t my fault that Mother Nature
has endowed me with an extra finger?
THE EMB1TTERED WIFE
BE quict-~pinhcadl
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND (infuriated)
Pinhead, indeed! This insult Is more
than I can bearl (He springs forward,
seizes his embittered wife, pnches her nos
trils with nutcracker and closes her mouth
with the sugar-tongs. She falls, choked to
death.)
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND (regaining his
habitual calm.
One should never lose ones temper.
must try to make amends for this moment
his wife into small pieces, which he wraps
up in newspaper) must now dispense
these fragments Of my poor wife in various
deserted quarters Of the city. 1t is the
classical way, and nothing equals the clas-
sizes. Gle starts to go out) OH I was
forgetting the package containing the pieces
Of the looking glass. Every triAe makes me
lose my head. Gle takes the package con-
tanning his wife in his right hand, carries
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1919-03-23
Third Act: The Tender Helpmate
Scene: The neac gpavtment.

Scene: The ne1c apartment.
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND (entering).
Here / am in my new apartment. The
dawn is coming / can now begin to recon
struct all my furniture. This package con-
tains the fragments of the looking glass.
Gle begins to fit the pieces together.) Ny
hand is trembling, my sight is obscured I
have drunk too much-too much-too much!
He continues to piece together the frag
ments) My work is almost finished.
only have three pieces left. | am working
mechancally-wthout seeing. | fit the
pieces together by sheer force Of habit
have drunk too much-~too much. Therel
The last piece is fitted I'M The looking
glass is reconstructed
THE EMBTTTERED WIFE
You must indeed be very drunk to take
me for looking gIassl
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND (instantly be-
coming sober.
Great Heavens! understand everything!
drank to keep up courage Thus mixed
up the two packages and threw the pieces
Of the mirror away. And now | have
constructed my wife, by mistake.
THE EMBITTERED WIFE Gin Il terrible
voicej
Whatl You threw away the pieces of the
looking glassl WE'LL always said you
didn't amount ia nnythnR' But you must
indeed be the least Of men, and the first
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1919-03-23
THE ERRATIC HUSBAND

THE EMBITTERED WIFE Throwing her
arms about his neck in paroxysm of rage
Be still! If you had not taken too much
to drink this would never have happened
and l should not be here to tear your
hair You should never, never have mixed
up the packages.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1919-03-23

And then, when your
wife, by some miracle,
does happen TO- be virsu-
Gus and kind and domes-
tic and rather pretty, and
she IL an ideal house
keeper. why, then you
simply can't keep awake
when she's in the roonx
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS

NoTE-Plcase notify the editor wn,n you
desire advertisements discontinued.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
Interesting
Personal
Mention
Effective December 9Th, 1918

Mr. Joe Beavin was in Owensboro,
last week.
Mrs. Clyde Hall was in Louisville,
Tuesday.
R. 0. Smith of Stephensport, was
in this city Thursday on business.
Miss Margaret Burn will be hostess
to the Wednesday club this week.
Messrs. Alfred Wroe and Robert
Hannah spent Saturday in Louis
vile.
Thomas Lee Thrasher, Jr., of
Hardinsburg was in Lewisport last
week.
Mr.. Jesse Owen of Louisville has
been the guest of his mother, Mrs.
]. t. Owen.
Mr.. Ben Brown left Monday for
Durant, Okla, to visit his brother,
Mr.. VIM. Brown.
Miss Eleanor Burks of Louisville
spent the weekend with her mother,
Mrs Nellie Burks.
/, Mrs. Sam Dix and daughter, Miss
Sara Dix of Stephensport, were in
this city Monday shopping.
Mrs. Frank Payne went to Hard
insburg, Tuesday to visit Mrs. Her
bert Beard and Mr.. Beard
P. H. Manning of Chenault was in
Cloverport, Monday this being his
first visit here in fifteen years.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Graham of
Louisville are visiting Mr.. Graham's
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Price Graham.
Mrs. Thos. L. Wroe and daughters,
Miss Margaret and Miss Eva Wroe
were in Louisville, Saturday shop
ping.
Miss Jessie Hemphill has returned
from Troy, Ind, where she was the
guest of her grandparents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Pat Masterson.
Mr.. Jack Norman, Trainmaster of
the L. H. & St. L. r. r. was in Glow
export several days last week on
business.
Mr.. jeff Hambleton of Henderson,
was here Sunday the guest of his
sister, Mrs. Chas Lightfoot and Mr..
Lightfoot.
Mrs. Joe Morrison and Mrs. VIM.
Hoffious were in Louisville, Wednes-
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
Cuben.

Cubeb berries are from the climbing
plant called Piper Cubeba, native Of
the West Indies, being extensively cul-
tivated in Java and Sumatra. 1t is
used as local stimulant In indigestion
and as a flavoring vehicle in mixtures
and gargles. 1t is valuable particular
ly in diseases of the mucous men,
brane, especially of the bronchi. Ere
quently smoked in cigarettes for their
effect onsthe mucous membrane of the
brOnchi and larynx.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

FOR SALE horse power gasoline Engine.
good condition. with small burrs, I thimble
corn crusher with 2 sets OF burrs, good con-
dition. 800 bushels corn and car load hay
and straw. II. L. Harrell, McQuady, Ky.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

FOR SALE-Emden geese for sale now.
Eggs for sale now.-Mrs. Taylor Beard.
Hardinsburg, Ky.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

| FOR SALE-Remngton Typewriter No. O.
| In very good condition and will sell cheap
for cash. Apply at The Breckenridge News
| office.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
Round Robin.

Originally q round robin was petit
ton or protest signed in such q way
that no name headed the list; that is,
the signatures We're usually placed in
circular form. The device is French
and the term corruption of rOnd
(rOund) and ruban Ga ribbon). 1t
was first adopted by the officers Of
government as means Of making
known their grievances.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
THE PREACHER AND

why WntTtln lies tne 0iHerenCe,
you say;
Are they not both engaged in the
same great work: to teach and to
preach and to pray;
To warn us against our failings, such
as envy and hatred and strife,
And to guide our feet in the narrow
way that leads to eternal life.
To explain this difference as fully as
know you would wish me to do,
Let me outline the lives of two divin-
es, both eloquent, honest and true.
They lived in the self same city, their
churches the largest there;
One was the eloquent Preacher, the
other the Minister
The Preachers life was no complex
one. but simple round of routine
He breaches two fine sermons on
Sunday with Sabbath School visit
between.
On week days he'd call on sick MEM
bers. few social visits would pay
Public meetings he'd grace with his
presence, where he'd always be
asked to pray.
When midsummer came twas the
custom church work for two
months to suspend,
While Preacher and people wander
ed afar, their summer vacation to
spend.
Their sincerety's not in question but,
at least in the Preachers case,
He had certainly missed his calling
he was sadly out of place.
Now to prove my assertion true one
is quite easy for me to do;
/ will simply outline the Ministers
life and let you compare the two.
On the Sabbath his eloquence filled
the church and, let me add one
thing more:
Unlike his good friend the Preacher,
he preached to both rich and poor.
But visits to wealthy parishioners
were but few and far between,
For he had made of them Ministers
too, as win be quite readily seen:
They formed large corps of volun-
teers, of which he was chosen the
Chief,
To visit the poor and afflicted, give
them comfort and quick relief
OF course they were not quite ortho-
dox, for they never once paused
to ask
To what church the people they help
ed belonged, but went ahead with
their task
OF cheering the broken hearted, of
assisting the ones in need,
Whenever they knew such help was
required, regardless of church or
creed.
But that is Salvation Army work, "
/ think / hear you say,
Forgetting that it is our work, if the
Masters call we obey;
For he's given us positive orders,
where there's poverty, sickness
and sin,
To "go into the highways and byways
and compel them all to come in"
Now, presuming you may chance to
think that I'm drawing the line
too fine
Just think of the work of the Minis
tiers right back of the battle line.
For of one thing I'm quite certain, to
the boys at the front it's clear,
That there's all the difference in the
world 'twixt Preacher and Minis
Harhert " Harris
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
Refresh Your PRINCIPLES.

with the newness of a new year or
with the stimulus of altered circum-
stances or with the inspiration of
new work, what his start ought to do
for him is to refresh the deepest prin-
ciples by which he lives.-Phillips
Brooks.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

FOR SALE-Thompson Ringlet Rock eggs
for sale from large Barred Rocks, the kind
bred to lay. The bird OF business and
beauty. Safe arrival and good patches guar.
anteed Mrs. F. c. English, Dixie Hill
Farm, Skillman, Ky.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
TO Clean Marble.

To clean discolored marble, first of
all wash with soap and water, then
wipe dry and apply paste made OF
powdered bathbrick and lemon juice.
Rub it well into the discolored parts
and rinse it off in clean cold water,
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

FOR SALE-Two houses and lots a reason
able offer will not be refused. Also auto
mobile $4,000 no less. T. F. Sawyer.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
WANTED

County rights and big dividends small in
ves;ment by live merchant salesman, who
will sell article, absolute necessity in every
home and factory. Good commission. Re-
peat orders. For particulars address, p A.
b. 1906 W. Market street. Louisville, Ky.
WANTED-To take subscriptions for all
Clubbing rates given. Mail orders receiv-
ed Call or write Miss NJ. ID. Babbage,
Cloverport, Ky.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26

WANTED-Men or women to take orders
among friends and neighbors for the gen
uine guaranteed hosiery, full line for men,
women and children. Eliminates darning.
We pay SOC hour spare time or $2i a
week for full time. Experience unnecessary.
Write, International Stocking Mill, Norris
town, Pa
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1919-03-26
FOR SALE

FOR SALE--1 Registered Poland China Boar
years old-James Haycraft, Glen Dean,
Ky.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
YANKs IN BALKANS.

Don't lose sleep with deep colds-try
Flumonia Salye, breathe easy. adv,
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
INDUSTRIAL PEACE
IS THREATENED
London Views With Alarm
Some Issues Emanating
From United States.
BY K, WALTER.

LONDON, Dec. .. (By the Reciprocal
News Servicc)-Thc Industrial peace of
England Is again threatened and with
it the political peace of Europe. and
upon both these issues America, &C
COrding TO competent observers in both
fields, can exercise a decisive influence.
1t Is not n matter of signing n treaty,
but as stated in the presidents mes
sage, OF putting our W house in
order"
AS "the greatest capitalist IN the
world Americas labor troubles arc
viewed here with growing anxiety, A
few greedy profiteers welcomn them, but
sober British capital, | hear from the
city. Is alarmed at their persistence.
Tho whole capitalist system hangs
on America today Is the opinion OF
ono financial expert, land W. are all
threatened when America is threatened.
The labor menace II international
American instability encourages unrest
here and in Europe, and although all
Is quiet now in England we are on the
verge Of serious trouble ourselves. The
capitalist system is shaken and it rests
very largely with America to restore
confidence. The American system itself
is already too heavily committed abroad
TO Withstand a catastrophe with which
the Russian debacle would be no moro
.''ilbdIhDl' IMAM inc bdlhdl wars NNH
the great war"
rho Industrial danger here also is
from the miners, whose leaders are
koenly following the course Of events
In America, and the railwaymen with
whom the government Is involved IN
critical negotiations regarding the in
depreciation OF the recent settlement.
Tom Mann, the new rebel leader Of
tho aristocratic union of engineers, Is
also on the war path md there Is now
said to be complete agreement between
that union and the formidable triple al
lance for future e~ventualities. Leaders
Of these forces had little interest in
American labor while GOmpers and the
federation were believed to be in the
presidents pocket. but today there Is
much more sympathy with American
unionisn than with continental social
ism.
These Industrial matters are causing
some concern in diplomatic quarters be
cause, II Is pointed out. Internal strife
in the two countries upOn which treaty
or no treaty. the sanction of authority
In international affairs most depends,
must II continued weaken that author
ity. European affairs are almost out
Of control. The situation In Germany
and Serbia, aggravated by the mill
tarlsm Of Foch aud D'AnnunziO. il no
serious that the decision Of the Ameri-
can peace delegation to postpone It's
departure from Paris was welcomed
with a sigh Of relief. But m|ilitarism
on both sides will be encouraged aud
delegations will have little authority
TO intervene unless their counties first
put their W. hOuses Ia order.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09

man, asked to carry on Conn's unsuc'
Cessful fight.
Two, sharp blows on the chin, delIv-
cred by Fisher, sem Hisel down, That
was Fishers version.
when Hisel was found to be dead,
military authorities caused tho arrest
of II prisoners present at tho fight An
army surgeons examination showed
Hiscl to have died from IA fractured
skull, A defense argument was that
Hisel died from heart disease, but the
body was not exhumed.
A court-martial of eight officers con-
vened Nov, 4, 1918, and heard the evil
dence, Kelly, Buchholz, Kimbrell &
O'Donnell, Of Kansas City, defended the
prisoners. Five were released and re-
stored to their former positions. When
the case Is reviewed finally by the Mar
department and President Wilson, the
finding will be known officially and not
until then,
Being plain American citizens, sol
diers who were in the barracks for mill
tary infractions, the review was not
made so speedily as has been the case
where conscientious DIRECTORS were in
volved. In those cases-tho paCiftsts
and radicals-review would have been
made, sentences set aside, clothing sup
piled and $500 or $500 back pay glvca
before now
As a thin ray of hope for the sup
posedly condemned ~ a habeas corpus
proceeding Is pending In the federal
court. The defense has raised the
question Of why the case was not tried
in federal court.
A federal grand jury was in session
in October, 1918. The state being at
peace, the courts open and running, the
defense attorneys plead that the men
should have been given a civil trial,
even though military prisoners.
The proceedings are in Judge John G..
Pollock's court, briefs nave been sub
mitted and he has indicated a finding
at an early date. Should he overrule
the proceeding the hope Of the 10 men
lies with President Wilson, who may
find life Imprisonment or any term down
to absolute freedom.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
DARK CELL
FOR OVER YEAR
Story of How Men Are Pun
ished in Federal Prison
at Leavenworth.

L~EAVENWORTH, Kas, Dec. g.
Gown in the isolation ward, in the bot
tommost tier of the United States dis
culinary barracks cells, are II prison
ers who have been there more than a
year.
Supposition is that they are con-
demned to die. The secrecy OF an I'M
reviewed court-martial surrounds them,
making it "A military violation for any
person to make public their exact stat
us. However, 1t has become known that
the IL men have been found guilty Of
murder and will be hanged by the mill
tary, unless Providence and mercy OF
some sort saves them.
In July, 1918, Shelby Hisel vas a room
orderly, a position held within the priS-
oners' barracks. His duties were to keep
certain cells clean, and among other
things was to report any uncleanliness,
Hisel got a reputation Of being n
"tattle-tale." He was Of strong ply
sique and a skilled boxer, hence he was
feared in more ways than one by 9TH
er prisoners.
Hisel reported one Alexander Conn
for splitting on the floor. Conn denied
it and Hisel reported him again. Fol
lowing custom, Conn challenged Hisel to
a fist fight, to be staged in Hisers room.
Thirty or 35 prisoners gathered in
Hisel's room to watch. Hisel was win
ming and some of Conn's friends took
a hand. Donald Fisher, also a big
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
WILL SEND
MEN TO TWO MEETS

RIO DE JANEIRo, Dec. 9,-The
brazilian government is taking steps
b be properly represented at two i'm
conferences to be held shortly
h Montevideo at which problems af-
ecting the social and economic life of
onsidered. All the principal South
american countries will send delega-
ions to these meetings. One confer
hce will deal with the problem of the
Ugh cost Of living, while the other
Efll discuss immigration and measures
br dealing with Bolshevists, anarchists
nd other undesirables.
AT the suggestion Of Brazil, discus
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09

sion of the question of s~tricter immi-
grafton laws win be separated from the
question of giving the various govern
ments, either through individual initia-
tive or by Joint action, greater powers
for dealing with undesirable radicals.
In the high cost Of living conference,
the measures proposed include free
trade in articles of prime necessity and
the creation of special stocks in the
various producing zones. The selection
of Brazil's representatives at the con-
ference is now under consideration, and
the minister of agriculture has already
gathered much data as to prices and
the economic capacity of the country
for the use of the delegation.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09

CATTARO, Montenegro, bee. 9-The
American Red cross is serving Ameri-
can d~oughboys ID this town. \ battal-
ion Of the 332nd Infantry. part of the
army Of occupation, Is being given
medical assistance as well as canteen
and entertainment service by the Red
Cross mission to Montenegro
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
100 TOTS HELPED.

PARIS, Dec. 9,-The Junior Red Cross
has completed plans for furnishing
homes for the winter to 1000 children
of the devastated districts. The homes
will be in colonies maintained by the
contributions of American scnool chill
dren.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
HOME FOR ORPHANS.

POSEN, Western Poland, Dec. o.
The American Red Cross has Just
equipped a large building here for the
care of 500 war orphans who are being
assembled from the devastated districts
by the Polish government.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
Cigars Pipes! Tobacco!

You will find all these and many more
smokers articles at Samelson's. Buy
him something from this smoke shop"
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-12-09
A BOX of Cigars

Will make an ideal gift for him. Sam
elson's has his favorite brand, Mar
loves, Tademas, Flor de Melbas and
others. adv.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1919-12-25
lie had the muscles

a little fellow. He had the muscles
of a Hercules"
my Jimmie is very TALL" she laugh,
ed, 'tall and dark; he is really
awfully good looking. He was on
the baseball team the year he grad
uated." On she talked of Jimmie, of
his popularity, Of his fraternity, of
the many friends he had.
''Pm so sorry" she said penitently
at last. "I'm wasting your time. Now
tell me what 1 am to do"
swell, I'll have a prescription for
you, in addition to the diet. I'll have
it pwepared. Could you come back
tomorrow? I have call. I'm sorry"
He looked at his watch. Tomorrow
She had gone and the doctor went
into his laboratory. He looked at the
long rows of tubes and bottles, at pow
ders and liquids. The little phial of
that strange oriental poison seemed to
be looking at him with the eyes of
an evil spirit, drawing him nearer and
nearer. He had always meant to use
1t in connection with some research
experiments, but he well knew it's
power. He had heard of that fakir
abroad who had advertised he could
make anyone thin or fat within 40
days. This was what he had used
in moderation. He had made a for
tune during the short time he had
practiced, but he had ended in a cell
because he had bungled. He had been