Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1919-07-29
COULDN'T EAT PET
Children Balked. at Idea Of Max
ing Neal Of "Jerry."
outspoken Revolt at Dinner Table Re-
suited In Neishbofs Having Poetic
Revenge and Enjoying Dainty
Dish Of Roast Pig.

A well-known physician IN town has
q family of small children who are
crazy about animals, and every stray
dog or cat Is always sure Of good
home II they happen to wander near
the Doctors spacious residence. In
deed. the doctor calls his home the
Zoo Annex" for 1t harbors not only
dogs and cats galore. but three cana
ries. two white mice, five pigeons. one
conversational and profane parrot and
a brown squirrel, so an animal or two
more doesn't count.
Somebody gave the children a baby
pig, a nice little pink-and-white pig
with funny little squinty eyes and a
cute little curl to its tail.
The children were wild with Joy over
their new pet, and Installed 1t in the
laundry, but evidently the little pig
didn't adapt himself to his surround
ings. and persisted in staying up late
nights and giving voice to such lugu-
brious lamentations that the doctor
christened him Jeremiah" This name
was too long for the. children to man.
age, so they called him Jerry and loved
him to death.
Jerry grew so fat he could hardly
waddle, but he was great fun and frol.
licked with the youngsters and had q
grand time, and even his squeal had q
joyous note in 1t by day, but once night
fell Jerry seemed to grow SO low in his
mind that he refused to be comforted,
and his tones were as shrlll and pierre
Ing as a banshee's.
He grew so big that he looked like a
young mountain lion in the arms Of the
children, and occasionally he would es-
cape to the front Of the house and wad-
ding up the steps, would lie
down and drop into slumber, 80 that
visiting patients had to fall over or
step over the reclining Jerry. Then
to add to the general discomfort his
squeals grew deeper, like unto the vo-
cal efforts of basso profundo, so
the doctor, losing all patience, de-
clared that Jerry must pass on and
pass out. So one day when his
children were in school Jerry took his
first automobile ride. ending upzat the
butchers, who had orders to return
Jerry right side up with care, ready
for the oven and the Sunday dinner.
The children, in ignorance Of this
foul deed, searched high and low for
the missing pig, but he couldn't be
found, and after weeping violently for
the first day, grew resigned to their
loss, after the manner Of children, and
seemed to forget him.
Sunday came and the family assem-
bled at the dinner table. Norah, the
cook. came in, bearing aloft the plump
form Of Jerry roasted to turn, with
his tail turned in sancy ringlet and
an apple In his mouth.
There was a moment Of absolute
silence, fraught with significance for
the doctor and his wife, then one
of their eagle-eyed youngsters shrek
ed: "It's our Jerry" and set up a
dismal howl which the rest soon Joined
and fixing their guilty parents with
uncompromislng looks demanded to
know why their beloved pig was be-
ing served up as a burnt offering.
They were aided and abetted by
Norah, the cook. who, wiping fur.
tive tear from her eye with the cor
ner Of her apron, muttered: "Shure,
tits mesilf thinks 1t sin to murder the
baste."
Not one mouthful Of the martyred
Jerry would any Of the mourning
youngsters take, and the parents sud.
denly lost all desire for roast pig and
decided that the late Charles Lambs
dissertation Of that delicacy was all
wrong.
Jerry, the baked, was removed with.
out delay and sent to neighbours,
who took a poetic revenge in eating
the animal that had squealed them into
insomnia for weeks past.-Buffalo
Courier.