New-York tribune., 1919-08-29

Adams Englcwood, N. j., 7-5, 6--1, 6-2.
Three childless contrbs--Art, Ethel and
Billie.-prove, from the text of DAISY Ash
ford" that it could not have been written
by nine-year-od girl. Perhaps it could
not have been, but it was. And, as the fellow
said, That's story and we stick to it.
Old Ray Fosdck notes that the Londoners
Glide the r. Sign on an Oxford Street build
ing: "This building will contain shops and
flats" "And why not" adds Raymond who
will have his l. j "cal it the Singer Build
ing?"
Mr.. James p. Sinnott the Evening Mails
lawn tennis expert, is a daring prophet.
"To-day," he wrote Wednesday, "Williams
and Richards face each other, which means
that one must give way and drop out" And
no forecastcr over was more justified by the
result.
The Poor School Teacher; or. You Can't Win
If she is strict, people say she does not
allow the children to exercise their indi-
viduality. If she is not strict, people say
she cannot maintain discipline
If she pays great attention to her an
pearance, she is merely looking for a hus-
band. If she does not pay great attention
to her appearance, she is a bad example for
The children.
If she enjoys theatres cards, and dances,
she is disgrace to her profession. If she
rcfrans from such pleasures, she is Il
crank.
II she sticks to her subject, she is
fanatic If she diverts from her subject,
then she is talkativc and rambling
If she gives up her position to marry,
she is fool. If she does not give up her
position to marry, she is a fool.
WILL LOUP.
lamentations to and comments on "Abdu1.
the Bulbul Ameer," continue to come, but
L. b. submits another song, which her father
learned at Kenyon College. "Kafoozleum" it
is called; and it follows
In ancient days there lived a Turk,
horrid beast within the East
He did the Prophets holy work.
The Bah-bah of Jerusalem
lie had a daughter, sweet and smirl5
Complexion fair and dark blue hair,
And naught about her like Turk,
Except her name, Kafoozeum.
Oh, Kafoozeum,
kafoozleum! KafoOzeum.
on, kafoozleum! The daughter of the
Bah bah.
youth resided near to she.
His name Sam, a perfect lamb
lie was of ancient pedigree
He came from old Methusalem!
He drove trade that prospered we'll.
In SKINS of cats and ancient hats
And ringing at the Bah-bah's bell
He saw and loved Kafoozleum
1f Sam had been Mussuman
He might have sold the Bah-bah old.
And with of AL Koran
Have managed to bamboozle 'um.
But, on, dear, no! He tried to scheme
Passed one night late the area gate.
And stole unto the Turks harcem
10 carry off KafOozleum
The Bah-bah was about. to smoke.
His slaves rushed in with horrid din.
.Mashallah dogs your house have broke!
Come down, my lord and toozle 'um!n
The Bah-bah wreathed his face in smiles.
Came down the stair and witnessed thcre
gentleman in three old tiles
A-kissing of Kafoozleum!
The pous Bah-bah said no more
Than twenty prayers, but went upstairs
And drew = bowstring from the drawer
And came back to Kafoozeum.
The youth and maiden then he took.
And choked them both, and nothing loath.
Together threw them in the brook
Of kedron near Jerusalem
And still the ancient legend goes
When day is gone from Lebanon.
And when the eastern moonlight throws
shadow Ger Jerusalem,
Between the waings of the cats
sound there falls on ruined walls.
ghost is seen in three old hats.
A-kissing of kafoozeum
Mr.. George Cohan decided against naminp
it the Actors Protective Association as +bo
initials might irritate many; so it apnears
that it will be called the Fidelity Protective
Association. Thanks for the ad Ceorco
"Fits and Starts is suggested BY H, B.F
as book-title; and "The Undying Lvre,
by Adj.
Swinging around the circle as the Pres.
dents imminent sentimental journey is called
is one thing; but squaring it is Sometime
Else Again.
lhe majority members of the Comm;t+ee
on Military Law of the American Bar Asso
clatlon nave declared, and we believe iustlv
that the death penalty for women sn;es
should not be eliminated.
Volts for womeul ro