Evening star., 1919-08-17

II you take Cupid's word for 1t, the
poor soul Is a lodger in life's hall
room-bare little cuddy-hole.. un-
warmed by the fire OF love. When
her lease Is UP Coroner Hymen will
pronounce her dead failure and bury
her without the rites Of matrimony.
omitting flowers. but. is she crouch
ing? Just you ask her once. and see
her smile. smile. smile.
For one thing. any woman can marry
IL she wants to. II you doubt 1t. look
at the dubs who do. And listen at
this: An old maid with worthwhile
job and bank account at the back
of 1t Is the only grown human on top
OF the earth who knows the serenity
Of living. BY calendar count. she has
lost her youth, but when you figure 1t
out for yourself, what is youth, any
how, but gay rag with no wear to IT?
You go to sleep some night with the
sparkle Of Elusive girlhood and you
wake up a plain woman-and that's a
fact as old as the world. Your Ian
terms of pleasure have sputtered out
before the fun was half over and your
spring song has dirged into lamenta-
tions that would put jeremiah in
hole. After that-oh, we'll, the angel
that bottles tears and picks up hearts
broken on the wheel Of life could tell
you some human interest facts about
old maids that would put the worlds
best sellers on the dump. You may not
know it. But God does.
Miss Marian-to quote facetious
married public-has stopped strug-
Cling. and. having roped down and
hog-tied her lawful longings for love,
as wise protection from the joke
smiths. lives serenely on diet Of
reflected happiness, such as the max
ing of wedding presents. the knitting
of bootees. pink or blue. according
to the style of baby on hand, though
maybe foot is the better word. and
to the supporting Of several by-prod-
ucts of marriages made in heaven.
but which were not adapted to the
wear and tear Of earth-meaning
kids. Her one concession to romance
is an impersonal tenderness for men
who are nothing to her in tribute to
the one man who was all. 1t Is a
sentiment which most big brothers
are wise enough to understand. The
others write the jokes for comic sup
plements. which makes one thank the
Almighty for wise men. The others
don't count. They never did. They
never will.
Literally Miss Marian bungalows
out Chevy Chase way. There are
two other things about her that have
to be mentioned right away, because
this happening cannot get along
without them: She is the president OF
the Once -on-a Time Club. and she
owns fireplace with ball-topped
andirons-brass.
Being a president is one thing, and
making fire is another. Miss
Marian had tried both. and she knew.
Any nice woman who can serve re-
freshments has within her the max
ings of a club president-until the
next election, anyhow; but when it
comes to make a fre-vestal vir-
gins, sit tight while the dear soul
tells you her experiences-like this:
when 1 used to go down on my
knees and touch off the kindlings in
a dozen places they took a mean ad-
vantage of my ignorance and smoked
me out of the room. Now thWAI toss
a lighted match as If it were an ul-
timatum the fire crackles into living
glory, and-what l want to get at is
that l had just started the flames to
flickering on the wall the other even
ing when the opening Of my door
gave them a chance to dance over q
stylish caller-happer hat. ultra
French heels and the rest-.of a girl
l used to 60 to school with. but whom
l have not seen, except on the street,
in the between years that have made
her fifty and something dreadful
over, though, honest she doesn't look
it--with her veil down, which it most
ly. is. And that let's you know Ada
line Calvert as we'll as I do, except
that she was one Of those vine clingy
girls that leech onto everything they
love, and that after Ned Sands. the
rascal, went back on her to marry a
rich widow, she mourned him until