Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-08-29

Put Thy Tears Into Bottle was the sub
iect of a recent Chicago church sermon. Any
remarks?
Last week Boston gamblers offered $4,000
to throw three games of baseball. The offer
was spurned. Still some people still are I'M
convinced that baseball is really played on the
square.
Northclife, the London publisher has had
made pair of golden slippers costing $4,000
and will award them to the Cinderella of the
English stage. Daphne Pollard, an American
girl hopes to win the kicks. She says Ameri-
can girls have smaller feet than their British
sisters. Have you noticed your feet lately,
girls?
Prohibitionists will celebrate the 5Oth ami
versary of their party in Chicago next Monday
night at one of the loop hotels. We would
have thought it more appropriate to hold the
celebration at the municipal pier.
At the Dance Hall.
Don't introduce any Of your jazz steps here.
We don't allow it."
"Oh, shut up, we're not jazzing. The lady's
tainted"
Every girl fancies herself perfect Marconi
as far discovering the secret wireless work
ings of a mans heart is concerned.
To a man the end of youths romance is
just an episode-to a woman it is Iife's
epitaph
Man wants but little here below,
Would gladly dodge life's hustle.
But woman isn't quite so slow,
She makes him hustle.
.Teacher-'In what country is the north
pole Iocated?"
Pupil think it must be Chilli"
A reader writes for an opinion on how
to defeat the high cost of living. Answer
Don't eat.
King Ludwig of Bavaria. before his abdica-
ton, donated several bottles Of wine dating
from 1910, 1886 and 1922 to the Wine Museum.
Speaking of goods with a kick, how would you
like to take chance with one of those bottles
on a dark stormy night while at home sitting
behind long black cigar and your feet toast
ing before the fireplace? Oh, boy!
Caruso has been offered 100000 for 10
performances in Mexico He has been re-
ceiving $1.5OO per night in New York Gotham
has been made to look like piker for once.
There is no wisdom in the thought
That when at last we've learned to live -
In endless dark our souls are caught
And heaven has no more to give.
Hence 1 believe death is fair.
And that its seeming Swallowed way
No end is but marks a rare
Beginning Of another day.
JOHN HENDRICKS BANGS.
sand government officials their families and
friends have been riding on free railroad
passes while the lines have been under govern
ment operation. Perhaps that's why govern
ment ownership is favored by so many of the
laGs in Washington. It's human nature to try
to get something for nothing. We know a man
who once blew in 10 bucks entertaining cir
Gus press agent in order to get compliment
tary ticket to the big top.
Daniels Eats Fish With Fingers in Homo
lulu."-Headline- Well, did the head writer
expect him to eat them with his feet?
One of the theatrical magnates claims God
is on his side in the fight against the striking
actors But the gallery god is with the actor
a British lord who owns 1900 acres is to
appear in vaudeville. For the lands sake?
Perhaps. The land may be heavily mortgaged
and the lord may be taking a dash in the thea
ire to raise the blanket. Never can tell.
Even the matches are striking these days.
LMC.