The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-05-08


One of the hardest things is getting
up surprise party for woman
whose telephone is on rural party
line.
Greater love than this hath no man;
that two CT them can trade second
hand Fords with each ether and re-
main friends.
Konsider the postage stamp, my
son; it's usefulness konsisLs in its
ability to stick to one thing till it
gets there-John Billings.
Sometimes we think we would like
to be banker Not that we would
care for as much money as bankers
have, of course, but the hours APP
peal to us.
Why is it that the man who insists
he doesn't give dam" is always Civ +
ing a shower Of them on the street .
corner where the passing women and
little children have to listen?
Life's darkest moment for the small I
boy is going TO come this fall when
he is introduced to the geography les
son the peace conference is now pre-
pairing for him.
A farmer was in town Saturday who
contends that if the tail Of sucking
pig is cut the result will be the saw
ing of half bushel of corn to the :
world.
The dispatches state that Indiana is
20 have statewide Bone Dry Cele-
,ration.' Somehow or other, those
asst two words don't seem to 90 to-
,ether. :
A strange new spider having been :
discovered in the act of attacking the
Dung and helpless prune blossoms, 2
an any one say why Nature has never :
vented an enemy of the dandelion.
z q :
A woman came up to the cashiers
,indow the other day with a cashiers
heck for $50 what denomination
sked the cashier in his pleasantest
tanner. Lutheran" replied the wom-
n. "What are your"
q 4 4
An Atchison doctor says the best
sercse for women is showing the
wn mower. And the missus says
Iat if the doctor is right, it is her
,inion that washing dishes is equally
healthful an exercise for the men,
"What would you advise me to take
r a cold?" asked the man with a
sy nose. "No use limiting, friend,
i'd the clerk. "This is a prohibition
immunity and if there were any to
had would have been doctoring for
cold for the past six months"
There was man who went to
urch three times in his life. The
st time they threw water in his
&c. The second time they married
n to a woman. The third time they
ID a few words over his remains
d then took him to cemetery and
-ew dirt on him.
q {
L is hard for Christian to write 4
obituary without using the word
And when we read in
beautiful tribute to
God woman that mentions her "im-
raj soul"-well, we are glad the
type has never payed a mean trick
, that on US.
he minister was filling in the mar
re certificate LET me see," he
to the bride, as he came to
date, "this is the 7th, isn't it?"
flushed holly. The impertinence
the man The she found tongue
- she answered sharply, at is not
seventh. This is only my fourth"
q q
, is said some Burbank is trying
freed the smell out of onions. He
hit to be lynched if he succeeds
the onions and there's
hing left. If he wants to desmell
e other things we might mention
has our consent, but the onion,
er!
2 & 4
Astronomers tell us" said the
of statistics, shat an express
a moving hundred miles a sec
would consume several million
s in reaching a certain star" The
r man sat silent, wrapped in
ght did you hear me?" asked -
man of statistics. "Oh, yes, he