South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-02-24
The Melting Pot
OoMEi TAKE POrnUCK
WfTH UB

Some OF the boys back home from
overseas are telling the following
one of Devon Gall, who is with an
artillery division and who has not
yet received his discharge from the
service.
The truth OF the story concern
ing the South Bend boy is vouched
for by those who are responsible
for its circulation, and they declare
that II is characteristic of young
Gall.
AS the story goes, the men in
Calls company one morning were
ordered to the range for practice
shooting. They all made ready and
left. except Gall, who remained in
his bunk.
Hey. arn't yoE going out on the
range with us?" asked another mem
Der OF the company. seeing Devon
roll over TO take another nap as the
rest of the men left camp.
Go and get out OF here, and leave
me alone" Gall is said TO have told
the solicitious one, and then cover
ed his head with the blanket, pre-
paratory to a good, long rest
you had better come along with
u.s." admonished the soldier as he
prepared to leave Gall TO his fate
for he believed that Devon was
merely sleepy and did not get the
seriousness OF the ORDERS TO so to
the range.
II told you TO go on and get out
Of here" growled Call again II
am on wood detail, and don't have
to go out today" he fired at the de-
parting soldier.
Everything went along all right
out on the range until the sergeant
missed the sleeping soldier. and
right away he made inquiries
Where is CALI" the noncommis-
stoned officer inquired of one of the
men. He says he is on the wood de-
tail and don't have to he out here
today" came the answer.
The sergeant scratched his chin,
and then started toward camp. Up
on his arrival there he found De-
Won oblivious to everything that had
to do with ranges or soldiers life
in general.
"Say, why amt you out on the
| range 20 demanded the sergeant as
he wakened Gall by roughly shak-
ing him.
I'm on wood detail" replied the
now awakened soldier.
"wher do you get that wood de-
tail STUFF" asked the sergeant, ap-
parently growing angry. What do
you mean?"
'I mean that 1 would be out on
the range if 1 felt better" answered
Gall.
The story ends here as far as any
details can be learned. c. ]. c.
Not Jealous.
Wont you marry me?"
But 1 am welded to my art"
said the grand opera singer.
II won't be jealous. You can
keep on working after we are mar
ried."
Took a Chance.
you admit YOU knew YOU
couldn't pay for them"
Yes"
Then why did you order oys-
ters?"
Kind sir. I thought one of them
might contain a valuable pearl"
The Kaiser's Door.
Many crimes are being laid at
the kaiser's door"
IT gotcha. When he hears a
fresh knock he knows it isn't OPP
portunity."
No End to IL.
To marry all your daughters off
In days of long ago
Was not feat at which to scott,
As many mOtnerS Know.
But in these lively days. perforce
Mas troubles are not few:
For first comes marriage, then di-
vorce,
And then she starts anew.
|
other Things Should Go.
(Manchester Union.)
Putting the submarine under the
ban is a good idea But with the
under sea raider should go poison
gas and the bombing of hospitals
and unprotected towns.
Found Ii.
(KanSas City starr
And now you may understand
why we reporters smiled wisely and
mysteriously a couple OF months
ago when you were worrying so
about what the newspapers would
find TO print after the war.
IL n W" VIZ