Baxter Springs news., 1919-01-03

Lawyer Williams boasts Of getting
. 13 necl<ties and o pairs Of sox for
Christmas. But II he wore 'em all at
J once, he couldn't hurt our feelings.
; We gotta shirt.
Mrs. Salmon, wife Of the man
caught with a big load Of booze east
Of town, complains about the beds at
the Jail, mot being good enough" "
And Sheriff Frazier says they are all
mice spring cots, too"
| Dot Boston, niger wench Of Ga
lena, is not so particular. When she
was brought back to Jail again, af-
ter q brief freedom, she demanded:
"Mistah Sheriff, ah wants nah old bed
back"
It beats all what the ladies will
wear nowadays. A woman was ar
rested at the Frisco depot IN Baxter
this week, wearing 20 pints Of whis-
key strung around her waist, inside
her belt.
McAdoo said the American people
should buy Thrift Stamps and Liberty
bonds, in order to learn how to save.
At the same time, McAdoo was draw
ing $4,000 salary, and blowing $10,-
900 of it for house rent.
Judge E. r. Pattyson sampled some
of the "a pints Of whiskey captured
from Louis Sachetta this week, and
pronounced it not much better than
HEX. Said he: 'T tried to make q
toddy of it, but it was very poor, and
my wife didn't think much Of it, eth
er."
After George Hoods little daugh-
ter was born, it became q custom
every morning to measure the baby,
to see how much it had grown since
yesterday. And each day, when the
tape-line showed another 'steenth of
an inch, Mrs. Hood would say: 'Now,
let's measure papa"
T. P. LaRue shoveled off the snow
in front Of the ruins after the storm.
As Captain J. r. Carter was passing
Mr.. LaRue said: "I think it's too
bad that us poor old soldiers have to
do such work as this" eyes, in
deed it is," replied the sympathetic
Captain.
Christmas trees grow by the million
in the Ozarks, as usual, and the aver
age price has been rs to Soc. But the
merchants this year, with perfect
sang frOid, charged $1.25 for the fifty
cent brand. Probably the war pois-
oned the air, so the trees can't grow
so fast.
The other day the main gas line
from Riverton to Baxter sprung
leak. A farmer drove past the place
and heard the hiss Of the escaping
gas. He tossed q rock on the leak
and the gas pressure threw the rock
back at him, and he straightway left
that vicinity.
Talk about econOmizing in Christ
mas presents! We know Of one block
on Walnut street where one woman
got q new motor car; another a pair
Of diamond earrings; and another . |
house and lot. "And to think" ex-
claimed an indignant neighbor lady, |
"all I asked for was some linen hand |
kerchiefs. But just watch NE next
year."
A group Of Yanks in France taught |
the French children in Brest to sing |
in English what the doughboys told
them was "0ur national air." The
other day, when Pres. Wilson's train
pulled out of Brest, the children lined
up alongside the train and under the
direction of q stalwart Yank, sang
from start to finish: "Hail, Hail, the
Gangs All Here. What the hell do
we care, what the hell do you care?"
LIES darkest moment for Al F.
Williams happened when he was
swimming In Galveston Bay. While
he was splashing and geSticulating,
his twO-caret diamond ring, costing
$500 Of as good money as MeAdOO
ever borrowed, slipped Of his finger
and went 10 the bottom Of the bay,
where it remains. What Al. =. said,
depOnent sayeth not. But Of what bis
wife said, the family history is more
explicit.
When you have baclEaehs the IiVaF