The L'Anse sentinel., 1919-04-04
The Fifty !
Dollar Bill
(copyright.)
BY FRANK coNDoN

| you will find some hundreds of thou
sands of wives In New York city with
their hair done up, their going down
expression upon their countenances
and a wrist-bag suffering from COM
plete emptiness.
They are waiting for their hundreds
Of thousands of husbands to come
home from the Office and hand over
without comment sufficient amount
Of money to relieve the wrist-bags Of
their paucity.
Mr.. James Joseph Sidell did not pull
down $50 a week, but through the
kindly help Of delayed expense bill,
the cashier at Wormer G Mulreavy's
broke the glad news.
you've got something extra this
week, Sidell," he announced, handing
over the envelope. "That expense ac-
count of yours has come through with
the official OK"
would you mind changing the fifty
into tens?" said Sidell placatingly.
"Tll need small money before night"
There isn't another drop of money
In the building" answered the CASH
Ter. "You can stop in somewhere and
get 1t changed"
Sidell stopped in the billing-room
long enough to flash the fifty and
dazzle O'Rourke. Then he inserted
the folded bill in his waistcoat pocket,
and O'ROurke amused several clerks
by skillfully extracting 1t and substi-
tuting in its place a menial and lowly
five-dollar note.
At the moment O'Rourke changed
bills with Sidell, Mrs. Olive Sidell
ceased curling her hair on the sixth
floor of the apartment at the corner
Of 10th street and Amsterdam ave-
nue. and began TO, compute time.
Mrs. Olive Sidell was going down
town, and on the dinlng-room table lay
slip Of yellow paper on which was
written the names Of seventeen ar
ticles she wished to purchase.
C'I need exactly eleven dollars and
nineteen cents" said Mrs. Sidell cheer
fully.
James Joseph knew that Olive was
waiting. He hurried out of the Office
and turned into the tawdry and vul-
gar place on the corner.
"Give me a lemon and seltzer," he
said virtuously.
The geptleman In ermine behind the
mahogany placed the drink before him
with hard thought in his mind.
"Can you change fifty-dollar billT'
inquired Mr.. Sidell casually.
''Do you think this is a bank?" re-
torted the man, looking at. james Jo-
seph peevishly.
II thought you might have it." said
James.
II haven't" said the man.
Mr.. Sidell laid nickel on the coun-
ter. He had borrowed 81 from
ORourke during the morning, and was
relieved to find most of it in his pocket
In the shape of small change.
He left the place in slightly un-
pleasant frame of mind. and wandered
toward the subway, slowly and halt
ingly, but with general notion of
getting into train.
"There's no sense In taking home q
fifty-dollar BILL" he reflected. "Olive
doesn't need 1t and she can't change
1t, and, besides, it's too much to hand
to woman who Is going downtown
on shopping tour. l must break this
bill"
Once again he entered a gilded den |
Of iniquity. The man behind looked |
at him brightly as he cast anchor d.
rectly before the gold cash-register.
"Give me a milk and seltzer," he |
said.
"Give you a whatT said the man.
peering at James Joseph, and raising |
his voice as he said the word "what."
"a milk and seltzer," repeated Mr..
Sldell.
The man sneeringly reached for the |
milk bottle, and more sneerlngly |
squirted the seltzer at the glass.
"Can you change fifty-dollar billT
he asked firmly. and with his blue |
eye fastened intent,y upon the gray |
eyes of the barman.
"No; and, what's further informa-
ton, I can't play the bagpipes, and
can't initiate Eddie Foy. and I can't |
make my ears wiggle, and there's
lot of other things I can't do. This
Is saloon. not the mint"
Crestfallen and chastened, James
Joseph tore another nickel away from
the O'Rourke loan, and paid for the
milk and seltzer.
He began to feel strange throbbing
within. him as the milk closed with
the lemon In death grapple, with the
seltzer as referee; and when he hove
within sight of the next life-saving
station. he hurried forward with
stride that almost betokened enthusl-
asm.
''Have you got something for pain
In ones stomachT he inquired, and
the genial pirate behind the casing
nodded and Immediately began stir
ring a wooden spoon In thick glass;
Here's lookin' at you." he said
"Have you got change for a
bill?"
mo, sir" replied the man. "There