Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-07-12
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Sayings of Celebrities.
Cartoons Magazine).

Sayings of Celebrities.
Cartoons Magazine).
David: People in glass houses shouldn't
throw stones!"
Lucretia Borgia: Accidents will happen in
the best-regulated families!"
Tantalus: Man never is, but always to be
blest!"
Armour: 'The pen is mightier than the
sword!"
Neptune Water, water, everywhere, but
not drop to drink"
Billy Sunday: Empty vessels make the
Rebecca: We'll! Well"
Huyler: Sweets to the sweet"
Faust: Give the devil his duet"
Romulus and Remus: Wolff Wolff"
Annette KeIlerman: Still waters run
deep!"
Emperor wilhelm: What can you expect
from pig but grunt?'
Minerva "A word to the wise is suffcienti -
Queen of Sheba: Fine feathers make fine
birds!"
Caruso: The stars sang together"
Charles II: Eat, drink and be merry, for
tomorrow we die."
Sarah Bernhard: Age cannot wither, nor
custom stale her infinite VARIETY"
Adam: Turn over a new leaf"
Father Time: I'VE have met the GnSmy, and
they are hours!"
Connie Meenan has just returned from At
lantic City where he has spent 10 days flirting
with the mermaidS.
Indifferent
81 can trace my descendant a long Way off
and from high source"
Well do you expect me to fall for ft?'-
Exchange.
The average strawberry-nosed gent today
believes there is Just little more than ordi-
nary significance in the name of the principal
city in Rhode Island. Providence has a police
commission which ruled that beer containing
up to per cent alcohol was Misunderstanding
On this theory the commission announced it
would issue permits to sell 2.75 per cent beer.
Tea Room Tete-a-Tetes.
Oh. why hello Mabel 1 didn't expect to find
you here. Yes, it is a dandy place to rest isn't
it? AS l said to Tom, whenever I'm shopping
and can't think Of anything else to get just
come to the tea room, and I'm sure to think of
something want to buy . . Usually some
one comes in with a real smart hat or a darl-
ing waist or chic pair of Shoes and then I
Oh, say Mabel speaking of shoes, you know 1
was so infuriated today 1 went into the
H. & H. to look at spring pumps And
that perfectly horrid Mr.. Sims tried to make me
take pair whole size too large for
/ was so-angry E, Hum? Oh no of
course the numbers weren't marked so 1 could
tell But 1 always know when they lie
to me about the size of my feet. Believe me
What? Why l wear a four triple A
that's what wear e.. Any clerk could tell
that at a glance if he wanted to Hmm?
. Why 1 knew they weren't my size be-
cause they were perfectly comfortable e.
Felt just like the ones l wear at home
So they must have been fves anyhow
Fancy anyone buying shoe that is per-
fectly comfortable to start with : . 1 told
him hi it wasn't my size 49, Hmm? What did
stand on it, please" And, Mabel. he
had the nerve to ask me if it was too tight!
Wasn't that an insult? Oh, yes
and Mabel. what do think he said when
1TVlff fa1y
THE reason shoes were numbered that way
was because women wouldn't buy shoe that
fitted their foot unless the salesman
LIED to them THINK OF THAT.
MABEL! Admitted that he had lied to me
The impudent thing! I'm never going
in that store again as long l live.
NO NEVER. E. T. s.
The population of Providence may not ex-
pect to be increased as rapidly as trains can
carry EN- into the city. Toledo on the night OF
July had nothing on every night in this 2.75
city
I'm coming around to collect a little bill
from your dad. What's the best time to see
him?'
Just before ma sees him"
Lady of the House-"one thing l particu
larly require is a good memory"
Cook-"No trouble about that, maam. II
can remember almost every place I've worked |
during the past month"
Under the law you are guilty"
Il know that. What l hired you for was to |
prove the law unconstitutional"
Plumber-"welI. what have ye forgotten? ?"
Apprentice amt forgotten nothin boss D."
PIumber-"Ye amt! Ye1f never make a |
plumber"
you don't hear any talk nowadays about |
more elastic currency"
No; what we want today is a more adhe- |
;ive currency"
J. INC