The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-07-12
HIS WIFE AWAY
Young TOpekan Went Out To
Have Oldtime Time.
With the Ladies He Soon Found
He Had Lost His Lure.
NOT EVEN CHANCE To WET up
The Only Following He Could
Get Was of Dogs.
s. o. L. at Dance HaIl-No
Money for Card Game.
NOT EVEN CHANCE To WET up

"Hark. bark, the. dogs do bark
AT the wrong time"
No, this is not a tale Of the cursed
canine, but the sad. sad chronicle of
a young Topeka married man who
tried to step OUT a bit while friend
wife was away on a visit and who
couldn't. The dogs are the villains
of our story.
song. which goes something like this,
My wifes gone to the country,
hooray, hooray," etc. That song was
written before June 80 and outside of
Kansas. The young married man
had heard ii, in his younger days
when married life was a far away,
hay something not to be considered
by sane people when there were base
ball. swimmin' and so many other in
teresting things to do. But now, with
wife's announcement of her Intentions
to visit her folks for a week. the
words OF the old song cam back to
him and he said. by George. I'll
show EN- there's some hell-raisin' in
this old carcass yet" He was going
to have one big time.
No sooner had he put wife safely
on her train than he began to carry
out his plans He adjusted his tie
cooked his hat at more youthful
angle and stepped forth to see what
there was to see. That day he had to
work. but he was busiIy thinking all
the while of what he could do to cele-
brate; that's it. celebrate
Couldn't Buy a Drink.
Let's see what had he heard OF hus-
bands doing in their mates absence?
First OF all. they bought a drink.
Bought a drink? Not in Kansas. He
started into drug store to substitute
a coke for the customary booze,
but paused and went on up the street
It would be almost a sacrilege TO cele-
brate this occasion by drinking a
coke" he could do that when wife
was home
He probed his memory further for
ways of cutting loose. Cards. All.
that was it Husbands from time i'm
memorial had hardened TO the click
of the chips with wanton reeklessness
born of new found freedom But
wait: he couldn't do that. Wife had
taken most of his money and what
she hadn't the landIady would in Just
a Jew days. Another blind alley.
He scratched his head What else
ala recreant husbands do in these
stories he had heard. What was
wild women! Found at last Perhaps
not exactly Wild. but-er-sort Of
risuue and mischievous like. The
chorus girl would be lacking but no
doubt he could find someone to fIirt
with
Evening came. 7. T NJ II sailed
forth on his quest, lamenting the fact
darkness did not come so early under
Wilson's time as under Gods He
proceeded down the street on the alert
for the Ieastsqufver Of a feminine eye
lash, but none quivered- He saw
many bewitching girls, but none evil
denced any marked friendIiness. Per
haps the police chiefs remarks about
MASKING had scared them up. 7. T.
NJ NJ thought He was not going to
speak until he saw an unmistakable
flicker Of an evelid: that was certain
Maybe luck would be better at a dance
hall.
Line Of Talk Was Poor?
He went The dancing came all
right: he hadn't forgotten how to
shuttle his feet, but his line Of talk
didn't seem TO be getting away What
was wrong Had he grown stale with
the necessity for wholesale fattery re-
moved2 He must do better. Wit
must be his salvation He became