The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-12-11

Il Some parents are conscientious oh
. iectors" to every blessed thing thei
children wish to do. A little respec
| is due to children's rights - well q
to women's rights--or even mem
rights.
i One reason we agree with the scient
lists who fear something is going X
happen in the heavens on December
4 Ills that that's where it will have t.
happen. Everything else has happen
ed down here.
/ The scientists who have discovered
that q small amount Of oil can be ex-
tracted from cockleburrs have wasted
their time. What the country needs
| is a safe and simple process for ex-
tracing burrs from mules tails.
Talking Of riddles, uncle, do you
know the difference between an apple
and an ELEPHANT" Uncle acknowledge
ed he did not know. YOU'D be smart
chap to send out to buy apples, would
ut you?" replied Tommy.
Question before the barber shop
forum is--Where do we draw the line
between SNAP and spell 7" Some
hold that after twelve hours of ice, it
ceases to be 'cold snap" and enters
into the prominence Of "cold spell 2"
At a party given in Emmett few
evenings ago, one Of the amusements
provided that caused much competi-
ton and mirth was contest Is to
who could pronounce the name Of a
celebrated Indian chief-Wautanas-
siam. Can you do it?
A husband went home tired and
hungry. Failing to find any Of his
family in the house he went to the
kitchen. "Say Bridget" he inquired,
do you know anything of my wife's
whereabouts 2" eyes, sor, / have
thin in the wash,' she answered.
4. 4 4
A fashion note says: mems pants
are to be worn longer-pink and iny
digo socks having gone out of style"
Well, we can't wear ours much longer
if we are to avoid being arrested, and
even at that we can't see what we are
to do without them.
A lady phones us that she can make
a mince pie with nothing whatever in
it that can't be purchased at a law
abiding grocery store. We thank her
for the information. But neverthe-
less we contend that fnince pie with
no more authority than that would
betoo effeminate to command respect.
A skunk sauntered into school in
the country the other day. One intre-
pid lad captured the earnest
but unlimited seeker after knowledge
by upstting large, well filled waste
basket over it, but not before there
were several casualties. Some of the
kids got several days Of unexpected
but it wasn't any fun-there
was nobody to play with.
A colored man was being baptized
and he hadn't changed his clothes. As
the preacher was getting ready to
duck him cards began dropping out of
his pockets. First the ace of hearts,
second the king of hearts, third the
queen of hearts, fourth the jack of
hearts and fifth the ten of hearts.
The preacher looked at them intently
as they floated face upward on the
water and said: Skinner, if dat dere
hand don't get you to heaven, this
baptism won't do you no good"
At Leicester, in England, there is an
inn upon the wall of which many years
ago pastor wrote: ~ pray for all
The village lawyer, seeing in this a
means for free advertising, wrote un-
derneath: II plead for all" One day
a farmer thought he was justified in
adding: II feed ALL" and an army
officer passingthrough the village left,
Il fight for ALL" But an unknown
author added the last line by writing,
II take them all--the Devil" The
host, not wishing to show any parti-
atty, has hung out his sign, "The
House Of All Five"
Back in Kansas, during the cam
,aign of 1896, good man living in a
small town was gathered to his
fathers The funeral was held in the
little church, Everybody in the COM
nunity turned out to mourn the loss
If a loving husband, kind father and
good citizen, and to get the parti-
.ulars. The customary simple ser
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