Evening star., 1919-08-26
THE OTHER ANGLE
"Dog Days"
BY KIRK MILLER.

! All Of the popular song writer's,
poets. bards. verse libres and bour-
geois devote their talents and talons
to dashing of soul-stirring sonnets to
spring days. sunshiny days. rainy
days and pay days. but you never
catch any Of 'em going into ecstasies
over dog days. That's because none of
'em ever spent their boyhood loose on
sixty-acre farm with a stagnant
stream standing on the sinister side of
| the apple orchard.
! The old mud hole was as stationary
as poker players complexion. except
when 1t rained-then it swelled up
| like a second lieutepant's chest when
the band plays THE Star Spangled
Banner"
Can't expect the song biographers to
bust loose In anthems of rapture about
sompin' they don't know anything
about. If any of 'em had ever been
[ brought up and brought down on
rural landscape, they would naturally
have sought some robust method of
earning their biscuits other than CIV
ing vent daily or weekly or semi
annually to a flock of diluted words
about Raging the scales.
All the author of 'The Good Old
| Summertime" knew about summer
was that he couldn't afford change
of ice daily nor of Palm Beach neg
lige. If more songwrights had been
born in the suburbs we'd have a chant
which said sompin' about Dog days,
dog days, dear old dreamy dog days"
So nothing goes down in history
about dog days. which are just one
jump, two bounds and six stolen
US. Nobody knows just when they be-
gin and nobody cares how soon they
end! An ancient parable chirps that
every dog will have his day. but these
\
for the canine set. with no time off
| for good behavior. The rest of the
year pork and beef and lamb and
chicken are king. but for brief spell
through the hot days. hot dogs and
deuce, high low and the game. Also
pinochle!
Astrologers dope it out that dog
days are due to the simultaneous ris-
ing of the sun and the dog star
breathiess. humid days when it Is
dangerous to go in swimming or
listen-in on party telephone line.
The effect of water in dog days is es-
pecially bad, particularly when one
has been living in a non-prohibition
precinct.
There are varied and sundry ways of
telling when one is the victim of dog
ly feel very brunettish. If you are an
iinsomniast you are liable to wake up
lin the morning a confirmed somnam-
bulist. Dog days are upon you and
have you in their torpid grasp!
| One of the most common symptoms
of dog days makes itself apparent in
the average Office boy. All six of his
grandmothers die in the same week
and it is usually the week that the
ball club is playing a home schedule
In the adult the insipid malady as
serts itself in weird forms.
Dog days in these older persons are
usually, attended by a peculiar flap
ping Of the ears in the August zephyrs
The elbows droop lifelessly by the
sides. and the feet drag worse than
the signing of the peace papers. Knees
rattle like they were shaking the
house for the drinks and when you try
to speak, your chin mumbles as
though you were asking for a highball
and knew you weren't going to get 1t.
Terrible to think about!!.-but fact!
| The tongue swells and the cheeks
grow pallid; the bosom heaves and the
heart sighs, hair begins to turn green
around the roots and the Anger nails
curl up like last seasons straw derby. |
| Then you know you've got EN-! Got
IWhat? The dog, days blues! ..-rr-.i