davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
0oOD MUITIPLE NpGATIyE

A correspondent writes to a news
paper that he was travelling in the
interior Of the state and stopped at
country cottage for glass of
milk. He offered to pay for his re-
Sreshment. but was answered thus:
"I never made no practice OF
charging nobody nothing for milk. ="
Which reminds us of the ancient
tale of the Carolina mountaineer
Who said: Eve amt got no nothin'
but corn pone an bacon, an that's
what we amt got no nothin' but.
And of the still more ancient SEN
tence in Shakespeare. mo. nor no
Yeman, neither" And that in the
- old Anglo-Saxon, doubling null
tfp{ying negatives; had merely an
intensifying effect; THAI the rule
about two negatives making an af-
firmatlye was q later importation
from the Latin, no English rule at
all. Why can't we say amt got
NO" when we want to?--Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09

Where are you going to lecture
tonight, my dear?" inquired Mr.. Wise
of his wife. prominent equal-suf-
frage lecturer.
II am to address the Cooks and
Housemaids' Union" she responded.
Her husband laughed.
II sse nothing to laugh about.
Surely they have as much right to
vote as any other woman" his wife
began. Indignantly.
II am not denying that, my dear"
mildly explained Mr.. Wise; but 1t is
a waste of time. Don't you realize
that a cook or housemaid never re-
mains long enough in one position to
be entitled to vote?"
Mrs. Wise, recognizing the wisdom
of this. Cancelled ner engagement by
telephone.-St. Louis Globe-Demo-
crat.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
WHAT WAS ON THE ARM

A story comes from "oyer there
about bear cat" as the negro SOL
der is called by the fighting men.
who raided a Hun machine gun nest
and wiped them out. After the
raid one one of the negro soldiers
was found searching the battlefield.
What you looking for. MANI"
inquirdd another bear cat with
some curiosity.
I'm looking for nah arm" was
the reply OF the first soldier.
Then the enquisitive one observed
for the first time that his buddy's
left arm had been shot away. That
there arm amt going to do you any
good any more even if you do find
it," the inquirer said.
at amt en-" retorted the wounded
man. 1T ANT the arm 1 wants so
bad" he continued. "but rs the
wrist watch on it," And he re-
newed his investigation.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
McLERAN RESIGNS

fVoAT1ON IN fO0IOrrlOE
II. NJ. McCleran, who has been
cierking at the postoffice for the past
several months since he gave up the
mail route at which he spent several
years, resigned his position last
Thursday, same to take effect within
80 days. He may. however. remain
at the office five or six weeks or until
some one is appointed to take his
place, but would rather be released
when the 80 days are up so that he
can arrange to go to Hamilton, N. D.,
where his family will move March LIST
or later and begin farming.
Mr.. McCleran has been a faithful
rural route carrier and very efficient
in his clerical work at the office and
the patrons will miss his services.
The many friends of Mr.. McCleran
and family will regret their de-
parture from Audubon, but on the
other hand will wish them we'll in
their new home. They expect to
arrange their work so that Mrs. Nc
Cleran and children can come home
each September for the beginning OF
school and Mr.. McCleran for the
winter months.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
(SOOD-CHEER C;OSPEL

Learn to laugh. A good laugh
is better than medicine. Learn how
to tell story. A good story is as
welcome as a sunbeam in sick
room. Learn to keep your own
troubles to yourself. The world
is too busy to care for your Ills and
sorrows. Learn not to croak: II you
cannot see good in the world. keep
the bad to yourself. Learn to hide
your aches and pains under a pleas
ant smile. Learn to MEET your
friends with notwithstanding
Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
ARSENICAL SPRAY SAVES
BERRIES FROM INSECTS

Arsenical spraying for the control
OF the Insects known as leaf rollers
that are injurious to strawberries,
the blackberry. raspberry. and re-
lated plants of the rose family has
been found to accomplish good re-
suits. The Bureau of Entomology
reports the saving of at least so
percent by the use of this spray in
Iowa and Kansas. A single spray
ing resulted in destroying two-thirds
Of the pests
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
The Irish Question

Il was the eve of battle. An r.
ish regiment that was going to the
charge was being harangued by an
officer.
Min" he said, ''yez are on the
verge of battle. and l ask yez. will
yez bring glory on the ould regiment
or will qez bring shame to 1t and
run?'
I'VE Wilt" came the deafening
chorus.
"Ye will what?"
I'VE will not"
II thought yez wud," said the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
FARMING A BUSINESS

A farm Is a business. and crop
yields are only one part of that bus
mess. Studies in farm manage
ment show>that a farm to make mon
ey must usually have a large busi-
ness. must have good crops and live
stock, and must have these enter
prises so selected and organized on
the farm that the labor will be kept
busy throughout large part OF the
year. While it is important that a
farmer avoid poor yields. he should
not judge the success of his farm by
its yields alone.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
FROM A SUBSCRIBER

Mrs. Phillip Kradle. writes from
Chadwick, Ills, where she now re-
sides and encloses a check for renew
al of subscription to the Republican.
saying that 1t Is just like getting
letter from home to receive the paper
and that she cannot get along with
out It, Mrs. Kradle extends New
Years greetings to her many friends
and acQuaintances In this city.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
THOSE UNIFORMS

II has been announced that the
wearing of uniforms by men engaged
in civilian pursuits after returning
from the war, is frowned upon by the
war department. The permission Of
wearing of uniforms after returning
home was to cover different situa-
tion than that of wearing them for
the purpose of business reasons. II
seems that the uniforms have been
used by some as business getters and
the government officials do not like
the idea.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Puzzles Wise Professor.

prof. Pate Is a tery remark
bale man. He attended every show
Ing Of a certain movie serial, whereas
persons of less persistence usually
give 1t up after witnessing half a
dozen installments discouraged over
being unable to discover what it is
about. But the professor stuck to
the bitter end"
"Ah! And did he finally learn what
he wished to know"
mo. He says he did not expect
to be able to find out what it was
about. but he is much disappointed at
being unable to find out why he could
not find ont what 1t was about
Kansas City Star. .
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
NOTICE MODERN wOODMEN

At the Nj. w. A. hall. Audubon,
Iowa, January 14th public installa-
ton, including all members of the
family OF NJ. w. A. and Royal Neigh
bors.
There will be program of music
by orchestra and select readings and
good singing. A good time is antici-
pated. and we urge al Woodmen to
make special effort to be present at
this annual affair. A sumptuous
banquet will be served at the Vir-
ginian Cafe to all present.
By Committee.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Too Much Capitai Required

A Cleveland father tells us that he
thought he had thought up a great
scheme for keeping order In his
household. He noticed that his
rather obstreperous young son had
the qualities Of thriftness, and re-
solved to appeal to it.
Sonny" said he, I'm going to
give you a nickel every day you're a
good boy on condition that every day
you are naughty you are to give me
nickel. Is 1t go?"
''I'd like to do II, dad" answered
the kid. But can't afford it. I've
only got s1.25 in my bank to start
on. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Tn to the Fish.

Game Warden: Hey, kid, don't
you know this amt the season for
trout?"
Small Boy (fishiDg): Sure.
but when it is the season there amt
any around, and when it amt,
there's always a lot of them. Ii
the fish amt goin' to obey the rules,
amt either Think and Grin,
Boys Life
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
A Mean Man.

Mr.. Corderlam.-"Is this the Of
fee OF Cento's Certain Cure?"
Patent Medicine Man.-"Yes.'
Gimme six bottles for my wife"
Tried all other medicines without
success, eh?"
mo. she amt i'll at all. but I saw
in your advertisement where . WON
an wrote after taking six bottles. 1
am a different woman"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
RABBIT HUNTERS BON.
RARD AUDUBON COUNTY

The county was literally lombard
ed Sunday and the rural districts re-
sembled a Flanders front in point Of
small arms activity. The rabbits
came in bundles. Tho market was
depressed five cents On each animal
Monday, the rabbits selling for 25
cents as against the prevailing price
of 80 cents. This Is one recent
case where the price is somewhat
governed by the law Of supply and
demand.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Didn't Know Her Husband.

The members of the missionary So
ciety had assembled to turn in their
money. and to relate the difficult and
amusing experiences in earning, each,
her dollars.
SISTER Lamm. how did you earn
your dollars?" asked the chairman. E.
81 got it from my husband" re-
piled the good sister. rendering her
the money.
"Oh. but that is not earning it,
demonstrated another sister.
mo-" asked Mrs. Lamm. Then
you don't know my husband
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
RJrTTER RELIEVED RJJRIED

While cutting turf in bog near
Portadown, England, workers found
a keg of butter many feet under the
surface in perfect state of preserya-
ton. 1t is believed to have been
buried for a great number of years.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Modern Fiction.

Best meal in the City. Twenty-Five
Cents"
"All Horse-drawn Vehicles Must
Carry Rear Lights"
Speed Limit. Twenty Miles and
Hour"
minors Not Allowed"
"PUNKIO WILLO. A Good Five
Cent Cigar"
Our Ready Made Suits Fit Better
Than Those Made by Your Tailor"
l-Cleveland Plsindealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
JUST FOR FUN.
Try this on Your Kitchen stove

"Boiled potatoes" says an ex-
pert on such matters, ARE ever so
much better if they are gently boil
ed"
The gentle boiling of spuds
To us is no surprise;
Va sometimes hum a lullaby,
It helps them close their eyes "
Exchange.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
NO AUDUBON CASUALTIES

In the casualty list containing
about 5000 names released for Tues
day, the day before Christmas. there
were no Audubon county men men
toned
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
CARD OF THANKS

We desire to thank our many
friends and neighbors for the many
kind acts bestowed during the long
illness and following the death Of our
beloved husband and father, the late
f. f. Smith.
MRS. E. E. SMITH,
and Children.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09

The farm known as the II. S.
Slayton s Oacres four miles from Au-
dubon. Eeasy terms and can furn-
ish No. 1 renter IL desired. II. S.
Slayton so acres four miles from Au-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
i5I.4ss SOCIETIES FORMED

According to latest reports from
Washington. 151,i36 War Savings
Societies have been officially organ
ICED to date.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
FOR SALE
FARM FOR SALE

Modern and uplto-date seven room
house. Inquire at this office. 3 81
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Clcyer Young LAWYER.

A clever young lawyer was de-
tending a man accused of house
break.
Your Honor, l submit that my
client did not break into the house
at all. He found the parlor window
open, inserted his right arm and re-
moved a few trifling articles. Now.
my clients arm is NOT himself, and /
fail to see how you can punish him
for an offense committed only by one
of his limbs"
THAT argument" said the Judge.
lis very we'll put. Following it log
ically, l sentence the defendants arm
to one years Imprisonment. He can
accompany it or not, just as he choos-
es."
The prisoner calmly unscrewed his
cork arm, and, leaving 1t in the dock,
walked out.-Chicago Herald and
Examiner.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
No Settled Residence.

well-pleased officer.-K. F. O'C., In
Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Then She Remembered

The bride of last month pucker-
ed her brow, and glanced re-
proachfully toward her spouse on
the other side of the fireplace.
These accounts won't come right,
joint" she burst forth at last.
':Never mind. darling" replied
John, from behind the Evening News
Try again."
A pause, while his dutiful wife
wrestled with the bills. Then:
John dear" she exclaimed, just
sing two or three lines of song for
met"
What on earth for?" And the
newspaper rustled into the fireplace.
There's something I've bought
I've forgotten to write down, but I
believe it's got something to do with
singing" she stated.
"Right-ho!" And John COM
menced a song.
That's ~" broke in his wife tri-
umphantiy. ~ knew it! bought
nail-file. and I'd forgotten to add
1t to the expenses. Thank you.
dear!"--Answers.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
Free With The
Des Moines Register

new book containing nearly 100 of "Dings"
best cartoons of the past two years. has been pub
shed 1t makes splendid picture history of events
that occurred while the United States partici-
pant in the great world
AS a war souvenir "Dings" new book of cartoons
is unexceled The cartoons remind you of the stirring
sensations and the tumult of emotions of times.
You will enjoy looking at them and recalling the events
masterfully portrayed by Ding"
This is your opportunity to get this wonderful col
lection of cartoons, well printed in handsome
book. You may get one FREE with yearly subscrip-
ton to The Daily Register.
NOW is the time to arrange for your newspaper
for 1919. The Daily Register is the ONLY Des
MOines paper that you get the SAME MORN
ING PRINTED. 1t will furnish You LATEST
of world happenings QUICKEST. And it
costs no more than other Des MOnes dailies.
Subscribe NOW for The Daily Register. Send the
coupon by Jan. Is. You'll be enjoying your car
toon book and you'll be of seeing Dings" famous
cartoons every day during the coming year
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09
COUNCIL PROCEEDINGS

The City Council met In regular
session at the City Hall Monday
night, January 9Th. at which time
a great amount Of accumulated work
was cleaned up.
Resolution allowing Claims No. 10.
Be 1t resolved by the City Council
OF Audubon, Iowa, that the following
claims be and the same are hereby
alloua.l "a f0ll0uuss
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1919-01-09

Resolution No. IA resolution
allowing claims: BE is resolved by
the City Council of Audubon, Iowa,
that the following claims be and the
same are hereby allowed and the
clerk and mayor authorized and di-
rected TO issue warrants therefor as
follows. to-wit:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
Mrs. Thomas Henderson Jr.
'The Devips Organ"

In Diamond ave In Newton county.
Arkansas, one of the innumerable cav
erns of the Ozarks, are many stalac-
tite formations. At n point the sta
lactites, suspended from the roof Of
the cave, possess a strange variety
and melody of tone. Those who have
visited the cave say that these stalac-
tites can be played upon as n plays
upon a xylophone, and that the re-
sultant music Is unusually sweet. Tn,
place has been called "The Devils
Organ"
Diamond cave is about three and
one-half miles from Jasper, county seat
of Newton. The cave has been ex-
plored to a length Of more than three
miles. How much farther 1t extends
between the Ozark ridges Is not
known. At n point In 1t are many
mounds, presumed to be the burying
places of Indians in bygone ages.
In Corncob cave, also In Newton
county, the earliest settlers found
great heaps Of c~orncobs, apparently
an accumulation of many years. Yet
no corn was grown by Indians IN the
vicinity.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
WAR
STORY TONIGHT
Mrs. Sheridan, Who Lived in
War Zone, to Speak at High
School

Dark whispers began to circulate
among us the Huns are coming!" But
my lovely flower garden was still I'M
touched. Daily my little Kate and 1
picked armfuls of flowers, for the need
for bouquets was increasing and the
little hospital was fast filling with
wounded. Suddenly u world was
overwhelmed with confusion. There
were screams and shrieks. The dark
ness settled upon our village. The
Huns had come! l learned then what
1t meant to hate. l also learned the
extent to which people can sacrifice.
The meaning of war and why men and
women were giving up everything for
1t, became clear to me.
This is just an excerpt of the story
that Mrs. Edward j. Streichen wants
to tell you at the Red Cross enter
tainment in the high school tonight.
At this entertainment there will be
no admission charged and no solicit
tation of funds. 1t is simply an OPP
portunity for everyone to hear about
some of the happenings which our
boys over there have witnessed.
Colonel Williams who was supposed
to speak here tonight has been called
to the bed side of his son in Canada 30
will be substituted by Mrs. Steichen. 1t
- - A9AO ORROA bIAAA VA e vi kAAO
fact hat Mrs. Steichen is an Ameri-
can woman who hats lived for fifteen
years in the Valley of the Marine. To-
gether with the French inhabitants OF
that region, she was driven from her
home by the first great German ad-
vance in the fall of 1914. Later the
Steichen home became a billeting t
ton for the French troops on their
way to and from the trenches and
she was enabled to observe intimately
those wonderful qualities of bravery
n self-sacrifice at which the whole
world marvelled.
She was naturally a keen and SYM
pathetic observer and gifted with a
rare ~eloquence she will tell you to-
night not only the story, of Your
Boys at the Front hat Colonel Will
liams was intending to speak upon but
also the bravery and of the
women of the continent.
Three reels of moving pictures will
also be given. The general chairman
of the evening will be Tracy ID. War
ing; the program chairman is Mark
LETTER, the auxiliary chairman is Mrs.
Adrian Lyon and the publicity chair
man is Mrs. Frank Dorsey. No chill
dren under twelve will be admitted
without a guardian.
Think these words of Mrs. Steich-
ems over and come and hear her to-
night, II decided to come to Ameri-
ca to tell of the things I've seen.
We've all got to think 1t over, for our
war is just beginning. Our boys will
have died in vain if we fail them now.
Americas work is carrying on. And
the French name for Carrying On"
is Red Cross!
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
AZ Good as a Youth.

Workmen at a mill in Greencastle
are telling a good story regarding one
of the workmen. 1t has been a rule of
the company not to employ men over
a certain age.
A few days ago a man living within
q stones throw Of the mill solicited
work, but was turned down because of
his gray whiskers and his snow-white
hair. The "old" man was not daunted.
He felt he was still good for many days
of work, so he went to a drug store,
bought a bottle Of black hair dye and
soon had his whiteness a jet black. He
again asked for work of the same fore
man and was accepted at nee. He was
put to work and made good from the
start. Then he was worried because
his white hair was growing, al also
were his equally white whiskers. He
again bought a second bottle Of DYE
and used 1t to hide his identity.
The "old" man Is still working his
eight hours a day and n official Of
the company stated he had done such
a good Job he did not have to buy an
other bottle Of dye. but could hold his
job, even with his white hair and whls-
kers.-Indinnapolis News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
NEW ERA DAWNs FOR WORLD
With the Conquest Of tho Air, Life
Has Changed From the Old
Scheme Of Things.

Do the people Of today realize the
great changes which now are moving
over the scheme of the universei
We should look well on the old or
der before 1t has faded away. We
stand on the e1ge Of the new epoch in
the history of mankind. In the air we
have just conquered a new element OF
inconceivable immensely. With the
palms OF victory in every hand we
have a slightly overwhelming sense OF
our power.
Almost In a moment the span Of the
world has shrunk to a quarter of its
former size. Where we thought In
countries now We think in continents.
Where we thought In days now wa
think In hours, observes a writer In
London Daily Mail.
We have the power of throwing a
girdle round the earth. Remote Aus
tralla suddenly draws close. Green
land and Spitzbergen loom over us.
Rome and Chrlstiania and Amsterdam
are quaint foreign suburbs of London.
Nation almost merges into nation.
Perhaps the desire Of ages may by a
glorious fraction draw nearer and the
splendor of a world peace and a peace
full world may materialize a little
through the air.
Now should we take our fill Of the
old scheme Of things. In twenty years
time our life today will seem 10000
years old. The ancient civilizations Of
Rome and Egypt will not be more
legendary. How lucky are We, who
are young, to be able to see this swift
and dazzling age Of the air move
triumphantly into being.
No longer Is Japan an unattainable
dream The Nile lies but a day and
a half away. On glorious honeymoons
we can slip away into the star-below-
cred darkness Of the East to drift at
dawn above some fragrant island Of
Greece. 2
Over the rolling whitenes of the
limitiess cloudland, under . limitiess
sky Of unimagined depths, we will
wing u long and easy way through
a health-inspiring wind to the golden
sun-drowsed beaches Of the southern
seas.
This new life will not spoil u love-
ly world. Less than the train or the
whiriing car will u ~journeyings dis
turb the earth. On the blue above our
white wings will glitter, for a mo-
ment-a little murmuring as Of bees
will sink to the ground below and we
shall be gone. The world, u~nstained
and pure, goes on rejoicing into the
era Of the air.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
Paris Under Fire,

After the first day and a half OF
the long distance bombardment Of
Paris an officer Of the Red Cross went
out to get his lunch. Paris had just
traversed one disquieting moment-a
moment Of mystery. Ordered to It's eel
lars In broad daylight, 1t could not,
in spite Of periodic explosions, dis
Germ a single "gotha" in the sky or
hear a single French defensive shot.
But the news Of the long-range gun
was now abroad; already the boule-
wards were In movement, and the old
woman who sells newspapers at the
kiosk opposite the Madeleine was in
her place.
"Good morning. madame. I haven't
heard that famous gun Of yours for at
least half an hour-have your"
"What would your 1t has to have
its lunch |"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-17
IndIa's Coal Supplies.

Mr.. 81. Kelway- Bamber, former su-
~perintendent of rolling stock, East
Indian railway, speaking at the So
ciety Of Arts, said that the coal re-
sources of India were estimated at
79.001, 000.0 900 tons-ten times as great
as those Of Japan. Europs's coal de-
posts were estimated at 7S4, 100000
600 tons. OF the numerous coal fields
Of proved value In India only Is were
being worked. the a being found
in the remote position Of the coal
fields from parts and existing centers
Of industry. Sir Charles II. Arm
strong, chairman Of the Great India
Peninsula railway, who presided, sold
that a very large amount Of coal would
be produced In India II labor were
more plentiful. 1t was largely due to
those who had WORKER the heavy traf-
fc on the Indian railways that the
empire was victorious in Mesopotamia.