The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-05-05
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

This is to be the story of a tank, not a scientific one. but I hope a truthful one about how for several days I was kept "tanked up" with. orders from the Victory Loan headquarters to be ready to make speeches from it.
 
 Now, when at a dinner of the allied armies I was mentioned in the famous orders of the day by Major General Sparrow. the official gazetteer. as hay the streets. accompanied by two fair sponsors, Misses O'Neal and Avant, I felt distinctly honored
 The order was read out on Friday and I was to be ready to go on speak ing duty at II a. m. on Saturday. l reported for duty but was told that the p. m. but to hold myself in readiness, as it was sure to be on hand at that hour l again registered al the desig mated rendezvous, but no tank was in sight
 l was then earnestly requested not to lose courage or let my patience ooze out, for it would be visible to the naked eye before Monday noon, and that it was tremendously important that it be exhibited, and that the eager crowds who would gather to gaze on it be sur charged with hot air.
 On Sunday I went out of town to preach and to speak on the Victory Loan, and early Monday morning I got in touch with the speakers bureau to know at what point I should join the delayed tank, and was sadly told that there had been a mishap somewhere, and the tank was at large in parts un- known, but that the railroad was trac- ing it.
 All this time of waiting I was to stay close to the telephone so that l could make a quick get away from my word in order not to let the tank be idle for a moment as it was loaned for only two days and must be used to the limit while it was in the possession of the Jefferson county loan committee. was all keyed up to do my full duty under the circumstances.
 The sun went down Monday after noon, but no tank obscured the horizon, and it arose Tuesday bright and early without shedding it's beams on it. Now, have never been known as quitter and when detailed to do think l can usually be relied upon to stay put until it is done Something read about An drew Jackson in my boyhood has stuck with me through manhood His mother said, When I give Andy a job to do, know he'll fnsh it."
 do not think 1t necessary for me to introduce any witnesses in Birming- ham to testify to the fact that I have ever shirked or s1acked when called upon to be the leader in a speakfest. But if any one has the hardihood to question my zeal as a speaker, I can produce a cloud of testimony to show that I have spilled oratory on every downtown street corner, and filled the | halls, theatres, churches, stores and shops of this district with hot air 1 Tuesday rose from it's bed of sleep but no "baby tank" was born overnight and another day of patient waiting was before me. Please bear in mind l that all through my waking hours eith- CT my home or office phone was con l tinually tinkling to break to me the | latest news on the missing tank, and | for me just to possess my soul in patience and I would reap my reward l in doing my duty.
 l Wednesday was another anxious day The tank had changed from a lost one to mysterious one, for reports came l from all points of the line between here and Atlanta from passengers who l had seen it sidetracked at some station as they flew past on a passenger train Automobilists brought in tales of how 1 they had passed a tank on the road wearily but doggedly making its way towards the Magic City. went to bed 1 in full confidence that it was en route 1 from Jasper.
 1 Thursday morning I went down tc headquarters in summons to a phone message that it had been located il l the yards near the Terminal and would | be ready to start out on its voyage through Birmingham at noon in time to catch the crowds going and coming 1 from lunch. put aside some important | work and rushed out and swallowed l down lunch in order to be able te have my old boiler well stocked agains, 1 the time I would have to make a bfe noise from the street corners. It takes
 a lot of fuel to create enough steam tc | get over message out in the oper air.
 l showed up at the Louisville ant l Nashville station and found R. A Porter a much perplexed and be devilled man, for he had been wrestling with the Southern railroad for thre. | days. I was told that he had beer positively informed by the dispatche that the tank had not left Atlanta, bu wearied with his many phone messages and trips to locate it, he happened t, l look out of the railroad officials win | 7o,x, who had iust informed him tba