Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-12-14


opening winter dinner tonight
Headed by vice-PrcSident Marshall
q Cabinet members. ambassadors and
ministers OF the diplomatic corps. and
list Included scores OF men wcIl-known
in public and private life.
Nothing was spared from the ira
ditional gridiron. The railroad prob
lem. prohibition. the labor situation.
woman suffrage, reform and other
topics in the public eye came in for
their share OF good humored treat
ment.
Washington correspondents. took the
parts of the actors in the skits which
did the 'GridironinE on these SUB
jects.
"Noonshine. Is Served.
AS tho capital. like the remainder of
the country now has dry" bAnquctS,
or at least is supposed TO- II seemed
appropriate that one or the SKIS
should be on 'Mconshine."
a company OF moonshiners prepar-
ing some brew" VAS shown and some
OIL tho dialogue included the follow
ing'"jabs:
"A gridron dinner is not the place
for that sort OF thing"
There amt no place uhere it's more
needed"
see by the papers that the prohibition
enforcement agents raided the ofhce OF
The Saturday Evening Post and con-
terson's memoirs
HAS il got any kick in it?'
Kick? Well you ought to see the
way it keeled o over EN-, Norris Sheppard
II see Vice-Pre6ident Marshalrs
here. Did you hear him order the Sen
ate. galleries cleared the other day
when We cheered Jim Reed?"
';0h.. yes. that's the oldest mo onshinc
around here"
Il suppose you read that Josephue
: Daniels thinks he has presidential
boom?' 4
"Moonshine- on Green Cheese.
That's moonshine off green
cheese"
cratic Party. I nominate the best
known moonshinc dispenser of the day,
VIII II. Hays. chairman OF the Repuo-
iican National Committee"
'Qn behalf of the United States Re-
publican Party, progressive and reac-
tionary factions l suggest there is no
finer connoisseur of moonshine than
Homer S. Cummings. chairman CT the
It was decided TO present both chair
men with a bottle of "moonshine: The
bottles. they were told. were refill
able"
The railroad skit dealt with ''un-
ecrambling the railroads" The actors
represented former Director General
McAdoo, Director General Hines and
an investor.
McAdoo-"The late Mr. Morgan said
that you cannot unscramble scrambled
egse. He was wrqnE. BY the exercise
of little magic, to which we modestly
railroads or the United states may be
scrambled and then in The twinkling
of an eye as II were. and so 10 speak
upscrambled again. Can anyone loan
me silk hat. l shall return it prompt
ly and entirely undamged.
(Man steps forward with silk hat
He Is Mr.. Investor. wcll-known citi-
McAdoo--I shall return, it with its
pristine beauty untarnishcd."
Investor--"Please be careful. That
hat represents the sale OF a Liberty
NicAdoo-"Tut. tut--have no fear
we shall not hurt it in the slightest.
shall break this egg into the hat
So" BREAKS and drops egg and shell!
mn Inv .aI my hat"
fears. Trus; me. Kindly; turn your
noy you. Now we take another egg
f ou a some coaiWpo M in m some % ' Of
this agreeable variety of kctchup-add
little sand--and finish with dash
IN fnves '"Ss1't is ali Hight. All these
ingredients are tiSJmbolic. gentlemen.
Now We have tire S.ads' scram bled. This
s eSa esss my bne m eaG the ref
10 my friend, Mr.. Hines, who will. in
his magic way, with few passes pro-
duce the beautiful rabhn known as
government. operation and control and
return the hat unchanged 10 my good
friend, Mr.. Investor" Qnvestor
sroans)
Ginres mt McAdoo
Hines Cooks at hat and glarcs at
McAdoo?.l am deeply Indebted to
Mr.. McAdoo for his trust and conf
dence. I wish he had finished the
trick. He hates the limelight arid likes
TO retire while the retiring is good
But 20 the trick. gcnte m~n. Let me
tory. reasons II is a little messy"
Covers hat with handkerchief, scizcs
wand.)
Hines--"T now make these mysterious
asSes-so-saying The cabalistic words
-Hocus,' pocus. j zee. Brothcrnoods-a.
taught me. by Mr.. McAdoo. Then |
have--tstarts back. looking nervous.
All. 7 sec. Mr.. McAdoo forgot some
thing. Let me add the Plumb plan"
DROPS three D!uns and breaks anothe
egs. Investor Groans and tears his
hair)
:. Hines tcontinuing,- Now we have
up handkerchief looks-starts back:
rushes to McAdoo, saying:
emit DO the Trick.
Hi aines-"Ny God, Aiac, can't DO III.
MeAdoo-'Thars your arals r no,
- t.ip' NJ Mainly haf''
McAdoo-"G!yc him back his hat
aines-"But This ness--wha. will I
NsAdqo-"ph hand it back. lie
H,nes-'Hero YOU arc sir, u,,ro,
h hat to Investor, VINO takes It t'' and
inveseor-'w VIVA, moss. ON nv
cant sell it. / ca CAM s s1n.t eis9 an i
McAdoo and Hines -"faic ~, ~ .
congress They'll fix il for you" CBotp
INK arms. bow and 90 Off
lHNestor-"Mr President rs 4, $50,
that ladies' are always present a. CO
iron Club dinners Then I'Il ~. ,',i
get. outside before say anv.t,I,n
labor Problem and po,iuc
iTe labor problem and It's rrIs.so
pontics got 4 brief touch" -, -, :,
wherein policeman DISTURBED IN" ~, ~,
queIers entering with a ravius ~. , ,,a ~
Well. replied tho polic..p,s, 90,
seems that few days ayo 49,,
waited on by the managers az He va
iitical party and informed tina, .%
Deen selected to write the Iabos' r,,.ni
IN the next years platform" ram
lhere was. another labor ski, =.
scrfbed as tho "One Hundred , a."
aWenty-scvcnth JnstaIImcnt or ~