davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
The Smiling Morning Pest
walter Prichard Eaton in
Harper's Masazinel

harper y MdSaDiiitl
To spring lightly out of bed. wide
awake and cheerful. is done only by
characters in stories, and the patho-
logically healthy in real life. Not
even in childhood does the normal
person spring lightly and happily
out of bed
AS for us adults, when we rise
with sleep still heavy upon |us, with
yesterdays fatigue not quite gone
from our muscles, with the insistent
morning void in the pit of our mod
ern, hyperacidulous stomachs, VIII
a dull, half conscious realization that
here is another day to put us by so
much nearer middle age, what won
der that we are not cheerful. that
we want to be left alone, to drink
our coffee in silence, and, by ming
the aforementioned void, ana SIP
ping thus pleasantly into the chains
of habit, to resume at last our
wonted way? To eat breakfast is TO
pick up again the job of living, after
vacation in dreams. 1T Is not
lightly to be undertaken.
1t is not a lack OF hospitality
which makes me dread the coming
of visitors; it is the fear that some
of them may be sincerely, or po-
litely, pleasant before breakfast.
What is harder to endure than the
guest who comes beamtng down the
stairs than u CHEEKY "Well, how are
you ali this lovely morning |-un-
less 1t he the guest who actually goes
out OF doors before coffee, and
comes in to tell us how perfectly
heavenly everything is with the dew
fresh upon it--as If it were not much
fresher at o'clock the previous
evening! Even the guest who dis
cusses Bolshevism at breakfast Is
preferable to this variety, because
nobody is cheerful on the subject OF
Bolshevism. either pro or con: Ar
eument is better than amiability, at
1uV rate.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
An Unnecessary Burden
[From Kansas city Times

tFrom Kansas City Times.
The burden of high taxes on the
cost of living is universally recog-
nized. The tax paid by industry is
shifted to the public in increased
prices. Congress can afford a
measure of relief by providing for
the refunding of the war loans with
long time securities.
To pay off the bonds i'm the time
originally planned would require
taxes TO the extent of nearly hill
lion dollars q year in addition to in
terest- This is an unnecessary bur-
den on industry and on the public.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
Chinese Coal For u. S.

[From the Scientific American
What is said to be the first ship
ment of Chinese coal to the Amer
lean continent was made in June,
when 1000 tons were shipped from
Chinwangtao to Alaska. The price
of the coal was reported to be
800 per ton. (. o. b. Chinwangtao,
and was bought by canning plant
at Bristol Bay.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

Christmas-have been provided.
Never in the history of the city
has the spirit of Christmas so per-
vaded the community. 1t is a good
sign. 1t indicates that the greed
and selfishness we have heard so
much about in recent months are
mere surface indications: that the
noise is that of minority and that
the great American people is sound
to the core and even more generous
and charitable following the war
than they were before.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
CHRISTMAS FOR ALL

X HRIsTMAS cheer for every
household in Harrisburg APP
pears to be the motto of all
the civic societies of town. Dinners.
parties, Christmas trees. baskets of
toys. candy, nuts. oranges-every-
thing that goes TO make for a Merry
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
Financial Progression

A million dollars was a sum
That used to stagyer folks, by gum
But nowadays. we must confess
he writer's seldom mention less.
Louisville Courier-J ournal.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
DdDid Made King of Israel

So all the elders of Israel came to
the king of Hebron; and they
anointed him king over Israel. David
was 80 years old when he began to
reign. and he reigned forty years
IL Samuel V. 3 and (
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
DO you KNOW

THAT Harrisburg used to cele-
brate Christmas eve. with light
ed candles in every window?
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
Strong on surprises
IFrom Punch. London

FROM Punch, Londonl
Russia, declares Mr.. Lloyd George,
is a land of surprises. When we
come to think of 1t, the natives do
rather take each others breath
away.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

Members of the Associated Press-The
Associated Press is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches credited to
il or not otherwise credited in this
paper and also the local news pub
lished herein.
All rights of republication of special
dispatches herein are also reserved.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

And, as Tiny Tim said; God bless
us, every one"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

Here's hoping you will have very
Merry Christmas
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

Late dispatches from the North
Pole are that the reindeer are hitched
and waiting.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24
HISTORIC HARRTsBURC

John Harris used to give pres
ents to Indians Of this neighborhood
on Christmas day.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

Admiral Sims apparently has as
much courage ashore as he has ailoat.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

-YHAT a wonderful Christmas
wv story that was which the
Telegraph gave its readers
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

The address delivered before the
state Medical Society in this CITY
last fall by Major w. G. Murdock.
chief draft officer for Pennsylvania,
which woke up people in this State
to the real showing made by it's
sons, has been printed in pamphlet
FORM. Major Murdoch analyzed the
ngures as reported to State head
quarters and as a result gave Penn
sylVanla far better standing than
data. -
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-12-24

George ]. Brennan. the archi-
tect of the who's Who" column of
the Philadelphia Inquirer. has this
to say about big figure in the
State Judiciary: 'Chief Justice 7
Hay Brown, of the Supreme Court
of Pennsylvania. whose term expires
next year. is the last survivor of the
delegates-at-large from Pennsyl-
vania who formed part of the IA
nous 500 who voted for General U.
s. Grant for a third term in the
Presidency of the United States in
the Republican National Convention
in Chicago in 1880. Justice Brown
in his early days took an. active in
terest in politics. He was affiliated
with the Cameron leadership in the
Lancaster county Republican organ
ization. His law partner. the late
William Uhler Hensel, who was one
OF the potential men in the Demo-
cratic party, served as Attorney Gem
eral under the second Pattison ad-
ministration. Upon the death of
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
QUEER KIND OF OLD coDGER


II have reached the age of eighty
three years." admitted old Tybalt
Totter, sand yet do not think that
a man Is only as old as he-ee-hee
hee feels, and that all the comedy
widows are after me. merely because
they treat me with civility. have
never had much cause TO complain Of
anybody's lack Of respect for the aged
II find that the aged generally get all
the respect their behavior entities
them to. And l have found that the
average busy citizen is not deeply In
terested in the trivial happenings Of
1854 and thereabout.
"As well as can remember, the
weather back yoNier was usually Just
about the same as It is now. l cannot
say that am greatly surprised to find
profiteering going on, for to the best
Of my recollection a considerable pro-
portion Of the people have hogged
each other at every chance they got.
But what is especially queer about me
is that l do not make practice of
denounclng and raving at young peo-
pie for cutting the same fool capers
that ! did when was their age."-
Kansas City Star.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
Important to all Women
Readers Of this Paper

Thousands upon thousands Of women
have kidney or bladder trouble and never
suspect t.
Womcn's complaints often prove to b
nothing else but kidney trouble, or the
result Of kidney or bladder disease.
Ii the kidneys are not in healthy con.
dition, they may cause the other orgsnf
to become diseased.
You may suffer pain in the back, head
ache and loss Of ambition.
Poor health makes you nervous. irrita.
bic and may be respondent; It makes any
one 50.
But hundreds Of women claim that Dr.
Kilmer's Swamp-Root. BY restoring
health to the kidneys, proved to be just
the remedy needed to overcome such
conditions.
Many send for q sample bottle to see
what Swamp Root. the great kidney,
liver and bladder medicine, will do for
them. By enclosing ten cents to Dr..
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y, you
may receive sample size bottle by Parcel
Post. You can purchase medium and
large size bottles at ell drug stores.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
EATONlC
ID TOR YOUR AcID-sToMAcD
PLACE NAMES THAT PUZZLE
Europeans Said to Find It Hard tt
Master the Designations of
the Various States.

Down on the wharves they tell {
story of how two British sailors wer,
rowing a skin under the stern of tn,
battleship Ohio as she lay in an Eng
fish port.
"A no, a hatch, and a TO-" said one
of the Iimles, "NVot ELL of name foI
shipr
We made very merry over Russian
and Polish names. When it came t
the Balkans we were free to confes,
that we didn't know whether the Do
brudja was a river or breakfast food
But it is now borne in upon us tha'
our own place names may not NEAR
much more to Europeans than somt
Of theirs mean to us.
Half the names Of our states are
pure Choctaw to all but educated Eu
ropeans, and not much more to many
of those. A celebrated yiolinist sale
he had long ago given up trying tt
comprehend American geography OF
Indian names, and simply bought his
railroad ticket to any place his man
ager designated.
"You ought to translate them" hs
added plaintively.
His host confessed:
"We can't.n-Boston Globe.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

The entire machine is mounted on
truck wheels to make 1t easy to move
to the trees or logs, and from cut to
cut on log iotthoHt stopping the en-
CINE. For moving on the road, the
truck wheels are placed parallel with
the skids and the rig hauled straight
ahead. The wheels turn on two
way spindle. You do not have to take
them off, but can change direction OF
wheel travel by merely taking out q
pin.
The Ottawa can be fitted for saw.
ing down trees. It cuts level with
surface of ground. thereby getting all
the timber and leaving no stunps
sticking up. An automatic friction
clutch stops the saw in case OF undue
resistance. Two men can fall forty
to fifty trees a day in ordinary timber.
The whole outfit is compact, simple.
durable against a lifetime Of hard
wear. 1t sells for low price and Is
fully guaranteed for reliable opera
ton in the hands Of every one who has
trees to cut down and logs to work up.
Full information and low factory
price to you can be had simply by adj
dressing the Ottawa Mfg. Company,
2724 Wood St. Ottawa, Kansas.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

Canaries in their wild state are Of a
striped greenish color. The yellow
canary is due to breeding?
The next airships to be built in
England are to be 894-foot length, with
a lifting power Of s2.7 tons?
Certain landlords in Scotland are
bound, under monetary penalties, to
marry at the kings command?
A ring is usually worn on the third
finger Of the left hand because it is
the least used Of all our fingers and
on the least used hand7
Prisoners In the Massachusetts state
prison wear gray uniforms and not
striped clothes.
Spy suspects In the A. E. f. were
given baths in lemonade in order to
reveal any secret writing which they
might have written on their skins.
The acid in the lemon disclosed "invis-
Ible" ink7
Artificial legs were used by Egypt
lans 40 years before Christ?-Boston
Post,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

State OF Ohio. City Of Toledo, Lucas
County--ss
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he is
senior partner Of the firm OF f. ]. Cheney
4 Co., doing business in the City Of To-
ledo, County and State aforesaid, and that
said firm win pay the sum OF ONE HUN
DRIED DOLLARS for any case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by the use or
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 6th day Of December,
A. ID. 1856
lSeall A. W. Gleason, Notary Public.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE Is TAX
en- internally and acts through the Blood
on the Mucous Surfaces Of the System.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio.
+. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
HE KNEW ONLY ONE METHOD
italian Wanted to Be Incorporated
and Went About Scheme In
Practical Way.

"Mlster," an Italian of middle age
addressed Lou Guernsey. 81 want to be
Incorporated
By questioning the italian. Lou
gained the information that his client
was man of odd jobs, moving lawns,
carrying coal. washing windows, etc.
'You see" explained the client. 81
am going to have some advertising
cards printed and think 1t would
give an influence II ] say on them l
am Incorporated"
"But how" asked Guernsey, "do you
expect to have yourself incorporated?'
II have no knowledge" was the re
ply. 'but if it costs, l will pay r'-Los
Angeles Times.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
FOGGY?
Il Bilious. constipated or
Headachy take
"Cascarets."

Tomorrow the sun will shine for
you. Everything will seem clear. rosy
and bright. Your system is filed with
liver and bowel poison which keeps
your skin sallow, your stomach upset,
your head foggy and aching. Your
meals are turning into poison, gases
and acids. You cannot feel right. Don't
stay bilious or constlpated. Feel splen-
did always by taking Cascarets occa-
sionally. They act without gripping or
Inconvenience. They never sicken you
like Calomel, Salts, Oil or nasty,
harsh pills. They cost so little too
Cascarets work while you sleep.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

The high school teacher was giving
a review biography of John Milton.
"His life Influenced a great many of
his poems" she told the class, '.and
Milton had very unhappy life In
deed. His first wife and he were very
unhappy" She talked a few minutes
and then asked: Nov what poem
did this unhappy marriage cause him
to writer"
Paradise Lost" came back from one
of the listeners.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

Vic works In a downtown drug
store. The other day an elderly wom-
an perplexed him when she gave him
a newspaper clipping and asked him
II he had any of that. He read :
-Eight-button length chamolsette
gloves. $1.49"
You must be in the wrong shop,
madame" suggested Vie.
This is drug store. isn't itT asked
the woman.
Yes" said Vic. ''but we don't sell
elght-button gloves"
Then the woman reached for the
clipping. turned 1t over and on the
other side was an advertisement for
snake oil.-Detroit News.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
KIDNEYS WEAKENING?
BETTER LOOK OUT!

Kidney and bladder troubles don't
disappear of themselves. They grow
upon you, slowly but steadily, under
mining your health with deadly GER
tainty, until you fall a victim to in
durable disease.
Stop your troubles while there Is
time. Don't wait until little pains be-
come big aches. Don't trife with dis
ease. To avoid future suffering begin
treatment with GOLD MEDAL Haar-
lem Oil Capsules now. Take three or
four every day until you feel that you
are entirely free from pain.
This well-known preparation has been
one of the national remedies Of Hol-
land for centuries. In 1896 the govern
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

The new hlgh-school teacher thought
that she was making a decided hit
with the older boys because they gath
cred around her to talk at many of
the intermisslons. The principal. who
had noticed this. commended her on
her interest in the boys and then told
the boys how they should appreciate
her for this same interest.
81 guess you like to have her talk
football with you" he smiled.
"oh. no." hastily corrected one of
them. "She doesn't know any football.
We talk 1T before her and then we like
to stand near SO we can hear all the
foolish questions she asks the fellows
about It,"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
COLD ON CHEST
and SORE THROAT
ENDED OVERNIGHT
You Get Action with MustarIne-lt
Drives Out Pain in Half the Time
It Takes other Remedies - It's
the Quickest Pain Killer
on Earth.

Stops coughing almost instantly; ends
sore throat and chest colds over night.
Nothing like 1t for neuralgia, lumbago,
neurits and to speedily drive away rheu-
matte pains and reduce swollen joints.
Mustarine is the original non-blistering
prescription that takes the place but Is
10 times as efficient as Grandmother's old
fashioned mustard plaster. Use il for
sprains strains, bruises, sore muscles.
stih neck, swellings, sore, painful or
frosted feet and chilblains. Be sure it's
Begy's Mustarine in the yellow box.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

One of the colored eonvIcts at
Leavenworth had knocked the ball
over the prison wall in baseball game
and was tearing around the bases at
terrific speed, making hard work out
of an easy "homer," Whereat one of
the boarders shouted:
''Take yo' time. boz take yo' time;
yo's in TO life; take yo' time"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
EASY now TO SAW LOGS
AND CUT DOWN TREES

Only one man, or even a boy. with
the improved Ottawa Engine Log Saw
can easily cut twenty-five to forty
cords day, and at a cost Of less than
&c per cord. This machine, which OUT
does all others, has heavy, cross cut
saw driven by a powerful especially
designed 4-cycle gasoline engine. It's
a fast money-maker for those using II.
and does more than ten men could do,
either cutting down trees, saving logs,
or buzzing branches ichiie you rest.
When not saving. the engine can be
used for other work requiring power.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

-Now that you are a high-salaried
picture star. you can wenr diamonds"
-Dlamondsl' echoed the film fapor-
tie. scornfully. where are you GO
ing to get any jewelry that will put
up a display to compare with the cleo
trio lights at the front Of the hoasefe
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

ment Of the Netherlands granted a sps-
eial charter authorizing It's sale.
The good housewife Of Holland would
almost as soon be without food as With
out her "Real Dutch Drops" as she
quantity calls GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules. Their use restores
strength and IS responsible in a great
measure for the sturdy, robust health
Of the Hollanders.
Do not delay. Go to your druggist
and insist on his supplying you with a
box of GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil
Capsules. Take them as directed, and
it you are not satisfied with results your
druggist will gladly refund your money.
Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on
the box and accept no other. In sealed
boxes, three sizes.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

Our little boy asks so many ques-
tons and so many Of them we are I'M
able to answer, so we give him this
answer; That's Just nature. son."
One day asked him how he got his
face so dirty, and he said; That's
Just nature, mother."-Chicago Trib-
uua
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

81 hear you are studying eiocution.s
az am"
"But you told me you intended t
devote your life to moving piatures.'
%True. But I'm going to be di
rector and III have to boiler at the
actors"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

And double your razor efficiency as
well as promote skin purity. skin com
fort and skin health. No mug, no
slimy soap, no germs, no waste, no
irritation even when shaved twice
daily. One soap for all uses-shaving
bathing and shampooing.--Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

An English chemists synthetic milk.
which can be condensed or dried. is
made from peanuts, soy beans, sugar.
water and mineral salts from real
milk.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

pretty dry time at the club dinner
last night, eh, old MANI"
''Well, the orchestra gave us a lot
Of Meyerbeer. Evening Tran
script.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

pound my husband wanted me to try ii.
] took it for week and felt little bet
ter. ! kept itup for three months, and
| feel fine and can eat anything now
without distress or nervousness. Mrs.
J. WoRTHLINE, 2s42 North Taylor St,
Philadelphia Pa.
The majority Of mothers nowadays
overdo, there are so many demands
upon their tins and strength; the result
is invariably a weakened, rundown,
nervous condition with headaches, back
ache, irritsbility and depression = and
soon more serious ailments develop.
1t is at such periods in life that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound viii
restore normal healthy condition, as
It did to Hrs. Worthline.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

Joe-what was the tenor of his
talk1
Bob-There was no tenor to it; he
has a bass voice.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
Never judge a ring by the jewelers.
same on the box.

Aeld Stomach Heartburn and Nausea
nnIeRfy fisapprar with the use Of Wrirht's
Indfan VEGETABLE Pills Send for trial box
Il Az Pearl ST. New York Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

Insist on having Or. Peery's Dead Shot
for Worms or Tapeworm and the druggist
will get II for you. 1t is the only vermi-
fuge which operates after a single dose Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

BookkeeDers are merely fgureheads
In the business.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

When money talks to the most of
as 1t is at the other end of a long
distance phone.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

"lVhat is camoullage. PAT"
Staining your fingers with ink to
make people think that you are a
writer"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

as this son of yours you are talk
ing of, adolescentfr "Mercy on us
mol He's merely cranky"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

nlthiY must u NAt1
time. l went to o
doctor and he said
l had nervous indi-
gestion, which al
ded to my veal
condition kept me
worrying most Of
the time - and he
said IL l could not
stop that, / could
not get well. l
heardsomuchabout
Lydia E. Pinkham e
" r.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14

A woman seldom means all the mean
things she says.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
this WEAK,
NERVOUS MOTHER
Tells How Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound
Restored Her Health.

Philadelphia, Pa.-sI was very weak,
always tired, my back aehed, and ! felt
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1919-11-14
WINDOW SHADFs

Buy drct from fly. Save cost to retailers
li-oo shade. soc; t1-ss OIL csc; s1.65 revsble
duplex green and white. s1.25. Send for
sample book Of colors. Shades sent par. post
anywhere Transnitter Manfg. Co, 2021
SAMSON st.. Philadelphia. Pa.