Evening star., 1919-08-18
The OTHER ANGLE
Queer Doctrines.
-vnu vsrVJ.ER
BY KIRK MILLER.

trine industry back In 'steen-hundred-
and-'sty-two, we've had q lot OF queer
looking waffies served up In the nap
lack tournament; but the Shantung
poultice is the mustard plaster that
drew the hump out Of the dromedarys
sheulder blades. It's the stroke OF
lightning which turned the milk to
clabber!
But that's the way 1t il with = guy
who starts a good thing. AZ soon as
the world and way stations know
about it. they begin to initiate ana
dilute and alter ana experiment Until
nnally the market is as full of bogus
mfniatures as q purchaser of $3.50
shoes is of Indignation
In the first place, Monroe gave us .
good doctrine by which to govern
others relations with our southeriy
neighbors. The Monroe doctrine cas was
and non-sinkable. But 1t wasn't moth
proof The mice. squirrels. chip
munks and other rodents have gotten
into it and today 1t doesn't know
whether it is standing. STOPPING or
lying down. And there are more
replicas of II on the international
change today than there are imita-
tors Of Charles Comique Chaplin.
But the Shantung agreement is a
blimp. It's a total loss from the ears
down and from the hips in. Japan
and Great Britain worked the shell
game on the laundry magnates until
China doesn't know whether she's
chop suey, Yum Ripper or chowmein.
All she knows is that Shantung is a
gone gander in favor of the party of
the first part, Japan
But the ShantuZ.x 1bter is only
the least of the gumboils which have
blossomed in the vicinity of our ton
sils. Look at the league OF nations
and the covenant of the 2-cent trans
fer. They are fine dictum to expect
an intelligent nation to inhale in hab-
Informing quantities and they are all
designed from the ancient doctrine OF
what is good for the goose Is also
exquisite for the goose's sterner half.
There has never been but one sis
ter-ship to the Monroe doctrine. and
IL the samples don't improve there
never will be another twin to II. The
bird who invented the law of per
cent knew that he had q big order
and he did himself proud. The 6 per
cent code is accepted and practiced by
all of our best profiteers and to show
how well a lot of 'em think of II
they have added a whole flock of per
cents onto 1t to make 1t binding and
legal.
Now the ragged transit systems
want a 7-cent dogma to be proclaimed
as legal on the north bank of the Po-
tomac and it doesn't look as though
that pill is going to taste good with
or without a chaser. The H. c. of l.
treaty which the profiteers voteG
unanimously for but never submitted
10 a referendum of the folks whom
the shoe pinches. sounds like a secret
agreement between Capt. Kidd and Al
Baba- The very worst thing you car
say about . profiteer is simply thai
he's profiteer.
From one who has no overcoat;
Who warns himself with hope,
From one who fain would shiver, san,
His optimistic dope;
From one whose salary IL small
OF course not you nor me,
These chilly morns extract a cry
A prayer spoke pleadingly. :,
Il worry not o'er H. c. L.;
No wife must i support;
am not summoned weekly to
The alimony court;
Il have not many worries now
No Venus Fair. nor Mars,
Perturb me-ff this winter they
will heat the surface cars"