davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Asserting Himself.

"What good does It do you to shake
your fist at Il reckless mot0rlst after
he has nearly run you down? He's
speeding ON his way and doesn't see
you.'
That's true.' replied the pedestrian,
"but | can ut least show curious on
lockers that / am q man Of some
spirit"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
GREEN'S AUGUST FLOWER

has been a household remedy all over
the civilized world for more than half
a century for constipation, Intestinal
troubles, torpid liver and the generally
depressed feeling that accompanies
such disorders. It is a most valuable
remedy for indigestion or nervous dys.
pepsia and liver trouble, bringing on
headache, coming up Of food, palpita'
tion of heart, and many other symp-
toms. A few doses Of August Flower
will relieve you. 1t Is a gentle Taxa
tive. Ask your druggist. Sold In all
civilized countries.-Adv.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Really Had Something Coming

Pat recently dined In one OF the
smartest hotels in the city OF Dublin,
selecting the best Of all that was good
and expensive on the menu, and then
he prepared to leave.
"Shall l bring you your bill, sirT'
asked the waiter, putting himself In the
way.
"Begob, an We needn't" returned our
hero. II intended payin' with the pearl
] expected to find In the oysters, but
bad luck to the wan could ! find In
thin at all. SO ye may go to the
diyil," and he modify passed out"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

and advise oil siling women to Try
Lydia E. Plnkham's Vegetable Com.
pound and I will guarantee they will
derive great benefit from it"-Mra
FRANK FITZGERALD, Is N. 41st Street,
West Philadelphia, Pa
There are thousands Of women every.
where In Mrs. Fitzgerald's condition,
suffering from nervousness, backsches
headaches and other symptoms OF .
functional arrangement It was .
grateful spirit for health restored which
led her to write this letter 20 thst other
women may benefit from her experience
and find health % she has done.
For suggestions in regard toyour con
dition write Lydia e. Pinkhsm Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass. The result Of their
10 years experience 10 at your services.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
A. /. We Saw Them.

Our dead are with the undylng
Love. and moving on with him. Our
business Is to mourn no more, but
to love them as If we saw them. and
to live for them and with them In
snIrlt and to wait in work for the
hour when they will welcome US into
.eunIted life. This Is patti Of our
aIth.--Stopford Brooks.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
An Hour OF Relief.

"Mrs. Peck's husband told mine that
he spends the best part of his life at
the club"
Nonsense Mr.. Peck spends only
about an hour n day there
'Well, | daresay the poor man con-
slders those hours the best part or
his life"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Not the Same One.

"Can I have leave to visit me wife,
sir?" asked Pat of his ships officer, as
they dropped anchor in Dublin bay
recently.
ITO visit your wifei" Numbered the
officer. "What the devil are you up
to now? Were you not granted leave
ten or eleven days ago to bury your
wife?"
"Yes, sir, and I did bury her." re-
piled our hero, "but that was the wan
belongin' to the last port we wor H.
SIR"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
They Didn't.

Mary Ellen had received several
Easter presents-the latest Of which
was new hat. With all the wisdom
of a three-year-old she looked at the
auntie who had presented 1t, and
purred, 81 love Aunt Grace"
Aunt Ruth looked up from her book.
"Then l guess I'll take that new dress
| bought you back and give 1t to Viz
ginia," she threatened.
For a minute Mary Ellen was trou-
bled. Then relief came to her face. Il
love you. too, Aunt Ruth, she purred
again, "and everybody else who got me
something. Now" wisely. II guess no
body will take my fings back"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
to ask for your money back.

Dodson's Liver Tone is pleasant.
tasting, purely vegetable remedy,
harmless to both children and adults.
Take spoonful at night ap wake up
feeling fine; ne biliousness. lex head
ache, acid stomach or constipated
bowels. 1t doesn't grippe or cause In
convenience all the next day like ylo'
lent calomel. Take dose Of calomel
today and tomorrow you will feel
weak, sick and nauseated. Don't lose
days work Take Dodson's Liver
Tone instead and feel fine, full OF
vlgor and ambition.-Adv.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
A NEW REM EDY.

ooh, dear. we have had such trou-
Bile with our son Archibald" exclaim-
ed Mrs. Hi-uppe at the bridge party.
ave had to take him out Of college
because he oyerstudied."
"And where Is he now, Mrs. Hi.
uppe?' asked Mrs. Heepsadough.
sweetly.
We've started him on the stage, so
he could get his health back by un-
dcrstudying."
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
LADIES CAN WEAR SHOES

One size smaller and shoes last longer
after using Aliens Foot Ease, the anti
septic powder for the feet Shaken into
the shoes and sprinkled in the foot-bath
Aliens Foot = Ease makes tight or new
shoes fee easy; gives instant relief TO
corns and bunons. prevents Blisters, Cal
lous and Sore Spots. Sold everywhere.-Ad
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Sure II Was His Fault.

"Say, what's the matter with you
fellows" snapped the dance manager.
"You've played three pieces all eve
ming. WHAT'S the big idea?"
ats your own fault, friend" re-
snonded the trap drummer; you
asked for three-piece orchesiry,
didn't ya?"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
The Query Department.

Dear Star-Can you tell me what
kind Of wood these here xylophones
that the vaudeville fellers play are
made of?--Lumberman.
Answer-Nope, but they make such
dandy harmony II they are well beaten
that we suppose they make 'em out of
chord wood
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
MARRIAGE an Eye Opener.

Wife (complainingly)-You used te
say before we were married that ]
was dream.
Hub--You were. A dream Is some
thing that one wakes up from and
discovers that Il wasn't m
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Bio Saving In Hauling.

If our main highways were improved
with permanent surface, we would
certainly save 8 or o cents per ton
mile In hauling the immense Interstate
commerce that each year originates
from agriculture, mine and forest.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
cuticura for Sore Hands

Soak hands on retiring in the hot suds
Of Cuticura Soap, dry and rub In Gu
ticura Ointment. Remove surplus
Ointment with tissue paper. This Is
only one Of the things Cuticura will do
II Soap, Ointment and Talcum are used
for all toilet purposes.-Adv.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
war Shown Need Of Roads.

The first great road builder OF his
tory was julius Caesar, warrior.
The second great road builder was
Napoleon. War gave the impulse to
the two great road-bullding eras In
history. This war will be no excep-
ton to the rule.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Co-oneratlon.

Elizabeth must have heard someone
talking about Cooperation" She
doesn't like to have her hair curled.
which her mother curls around her fin.
ger, and 1t takes long time and
pulls" like the mischief.
However, Elizabeth often blinks back
the tears. One day she said: moth
er, do you know people ought to CO.
operate in everything they do2 Even
when 1t comes to making curls, you
and ought to cooperate, oughtn't we
mother?"
She was certainly doing her best,
and mother was, too.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
One WAY TO Achieve Success.

Une WY 70 NtHIeVe oueeeo"
"How went the bazaar?
"A great success In one way
"Yes?"
"The ladies got so Disguised with
the poor business done that they went
straight home and touched their hus-
bands for the amount they wanted to
Answers.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Just a Toy.

"What did your wife say, II any
thing. when she struck your"
"she said, woman Is a plaything
just a toy And then she slapped me
over, judge"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Mr.. Blinks-Here's $50 mllllner's
bill I'VE Just paid; another cnse of
a fool and his money soon parted.
Mrs. Blinks--I know. dear, but just
think how fortunate 1t is that you arr
one of those who have money.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Winued Wonders.

The aeroplane's expanse we view
With hearts devoid of glee.
II 1t could lay an egg or two.
oh, what a bird 'twould be!
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Anyone Could.

Elsle-Nly grandpa has reached the
age of 90. Isn't II wonderful?
Bobby--Wonderful, nothin'! LOOK ut
the time it's taken him to do 1t.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

II Is now necessary to build o high
or type OF road than was needed q
few years ago because traffic Is con-
stantIy changing. and IL increasing
from year to year.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
EXPLAINED.

81 found your neighbor extremely
-unattractive. Why did you tell me to
beware of her taking waysg
0Bccause she is a kleptomaniac.'
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Decu III Duu uo0@
and had several At
tacks Of nervous
prostration until u
seemed - II the
organs In my whole
body we're worn
out. ! was finally
persuaded to try
Lydia E. Pinkhanas
Vegetable Com
pound and It made
. well woman Of
me. ! can now do
al uy ho,,aownvr
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
channs In Road Sentiment.

When we consider the fact that such
large proportion of our population
are owners of automobiles it Is not
difficult to understand the change In
sentiment in regard to road building
that has recently developed.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
smaoks Of Contempt.

representation is the thief of
time"
"Maybe so, hut you don't want to
shoot TINT around law court"
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

1t Is simply low Vitality, lack OF Energy
caused by impurities in the blood GROVES
TASTELEss chill TONIC restores vitality
and Energy by Purifying and Enriehing the
Blood You can soon feel Its Strengthening
Invlgorating Effect Price 60c.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Apt Destination.

Which tooth is it that trou
bles YOU sam:
Pullman Porter Lower five, sab.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
rrYxrn n.nrK . COON TONIC

EIINIR BABEK A GOOD TONIC
And Drives Malaria Out Of the System.
~Your .Babek' acts like magic; ! have given
4 to numerous people In my parish who were
suffering with chills, malaria and fever rec.
smmend II to those ,,ho are sufferers and In
nesd of n good onic."-Rev. s. Szymanows ski
81 Stephens Church, Perth Amboy, N. J.
Elixir Babek, so cents, all druggists or by
Parcel Post, prepaid. from K.oczewski Co.,
Washington, d. @.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Get Longer Better Wool

Shear with machine ard oaye no second guts nor
scar the sheep. Use a Stewart No. Ball Bearing
shearing Machine Gets 50 more wool easily and
quickly Removes the re completely making :
buxer and better selling. lie es q smooth, even
stuhble or next years growth Machine soon
paysfor itself Price 5 a Send s2-haance on
arrival Write for catalog
CHICAGO FLExIBLE SHAFT COMPANY
aept IA 18th Street and Central Avenue Chicago, H.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

The best friend you have on earth
is better friend to himself than he
Is to you.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
NERVOUS
II PiRR06$S7RATIoN
May be Overcome by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound -This
Letter Proves Il

West Philadelphia, Pa" During tho
thirty years I have been married. have
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Yesterdays neglect causes two
thirds of today's worries.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

People who are intoxicated with
music must be air tight.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
The Star Performer.

The Modest ViOlet-Watch me
shrink.
The Soda Water Glass; can beat
you at that.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
A SURE CURE.

Miss c.: Cap
tain, what do you
recommend for
ight-headedness =?
Captain: Keep
1t dark.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

A record is a fragile thing. You
can't lower one without breaking it.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Roman Eye Balsam IL an antiseptic oint-
nent applied externally and not a wash
n heals the infamed surfaces. providing
prompt relief Adv.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
IMPROVED UNIFORM INTERNATIONAL
SUNlAYS0lO0L
LESSON
BY REV. p. b. FITZWATER. d. d.,
Teacher OF English Bible In the Moody
Bible Institute Of Chicago)
Copyright. 1919. by Western Newspaper tnon,l
LESSON FOR MAY rs.
REPENTANCE.

LESSON TEXTS-Jonah S.l-l0; Luke III:
i-5 Acts 1881, IS.
GOLDEN TEXT-Repent ye. and DO
lieve the Gospel. Mark l:l5.
ADDITIONAL MATERlAI-lsaiah l:lo-
70: Luke 3;l-li, Acts 1880, 81, Cor. 1's-li;
2 Peter 49,
PRIMARY TOPIC-God's Willingness to
Forgive
JUNIOR ToPIC-Thc People OF Nine
veh Repent.
INTERMEDIATES TOPIC Turning
From Sin to God
SENIOR AND ADULT ToPIC-The
Nature and Fruit OF Repentance.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23
Just So.

"I want an actress for vaudeville
"All right"
'For skit."
"very good"
"Not a heavy, ponderous woman"
81 know. For skit-sOmething
sklttish."
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Unpaid bills are sometimes the
source of q poets best efforts.
Roanoke Rapids herald. [volume] (Roanoke Rapids, N.C.) 1914-192?, 1919-05-23

Some girls see in every bachelor OF
their acquaintance n possible husband.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25

HOW TO BE HAPPY THOUGH MARRIED.
BY DOROTHY DIX,
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

who never attempts to balance his
Wife's accounts.
Theory No. 4. A man should make q
fair divide of the family finances n
give his wife half of all he earns,
Fact. The usual American average in
the divvy of the family income gives a
wife 80 per cent OF it. Otherwise there
would not be so many beautifully
dressed women Illustrating around SUM
mer and winter resorts while their hus-
bands toll in dark offices. Three ward
robe trunks full of CONNECTIONS for the
wife and two shirts for the husband
are about the accepted ratio Of the d.
vide of family finances In this country.
Theory No. s, The wife should al
ways meet her husband when he re-
turns home with a glad, sweet smile, nc
matter what the hour.
Fact. If more wives met their hus-
bands with a brpomstick on rolling pin
smile we should have something doing
In real reform. Ne woman comes roll
ing In at that hour looking for a glad,
sweet smile from hubby. She knows
better than to try It.. That is why
women are more moral than men.
Theory. No; 9, A man SHOULD never
riage that he showed his wife when he
was counting her,
Fact. II a married man devoted the
same amount Of time to ~spooning and
holding his wife's hands and writing
her 47-page letters after marriage that
he did in the counting days, he would
land In the bankruptcy court. Besides,
after a woman is married to a map she
wants him to prove his love by deeds,
not words,
Theory No. 7. A wife should always
be exquisitely dressed and keep her
self young and beautiful in order to
retain her fascination for her husband.
Fact. 1t can't be done. No woman
knows the secret of perpetual youth.
Nor can any woman be eXquiSitely
dressed while she is wrestling with a
teething baby and trying to keep the
house going.
ter to 9 man than any Paris cteas
ton and when the cook leaves he,d
apron than the most beautiful ball
dress that was ever made. No mar
was eyer sentimental on an empty
stomach or noticed what a woman had
on when he was hungry. Cleopatra
first fed Anthony. Then she fascinated
him,
Theory No, 8. A woman should be a
home angel with all her interests CEN
tering In her husband and children.
Fact, There are no women of whom
men tire SO quickly as the ones who
smell of bread and butter, and whose
conversation only runs the family ga
nut.
Fact. That includes all other facts
concerning how to be happy though
married. Nobody can tell you how to
do 1t.
Copyright, 1919, by the Mcclure News
paper Syndieate)
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25
NOT TWo-FACED

Personal beauty came up far discuss
sion at a social gathering, when a lit
tie Incident along that line was recalled
by Senator William II, Thompson, Of
Kansas.
One afternoon Smith and Jones were
comparing war garden statistics over
the backyard fence when a new resi-
dent, who had recently moved into the
neighhorhood CHANGED 10 pass by at a
distance,
There goes that man Brown" re-
marked Smith, with an indicative nod
Of his head toward the stranger. What
do you think Of him by this timer
II don't know replied Jones, Il
haven't had occasion to give him much
thought"
Il don't know whether he appeals 70
me or not returned Smith. docs he
look 70 you like a man who Is two
facedqn
well, l should say mott was the
emphatic declaration of Jones. III
he was he wouldn't wear the n he
dneep
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25

Dear X. G.. B.--I would like your
apinioR CONCERNING p%oliteness after one
Is married.
Several people have made fun of mo
always say please and
you to my husband when | ask
4 favor of him and he ob,iges me. Now,
i don't see why | shouldn't be just as
polite to my husband % as | was be-
fore | married him,
What would you suggest?
Roxbury, Boston, Mass.
MY DEAR Madame.
IN THE first place.
YOU CAN be polite.
WITHOUT. SAYING please"
AND WITHOUT saying thank you "
AND You cen say please"
AND YOU can say "thank you
WITHOUT BEING polite.
AND | know n man.
AND | know his Sife,
AND THEY hate each other.
AND OF all the couples.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25

AND WHEN he comes home,
AND ! don't know,
WHETHER THEY'RE so polite.
BECAUSE THEY hate each other,
OR WHETHER they bate each other
BECAUSE THEY'RE so polite,
BUT, ANYWAY.
49,
If l were you.
I'd JUST be human,
BECAUSE SOME morning.
THIS WONDERFUL man.
YOU HAVE Just married,
WILL GET W with a crouch.
AND If YOU leave him alone.
HE'LL GET cver it.
BUT If you're polite.
1T WfG1 make him worse.
AND 1T may start something.
AW YOU'LL probably cry.
IN THE eakfast dishes.
AND If | We're you.
| WOULDN'T worry.
ABOUT BEING polite.
BECAUSE AFTER a while.
YOU'LL MAKE the discovery.
THAT BEING polite,
is A silly game,
AND THAT real ~pollteness.
LIES IN what you do.
AID NOT what you say.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25

paper S~yndicate.)
.Thla Is an unimportant day In
planetary direction, according to as
trology. While Nentune and Mercury
are IN II mildly benefic aspect. Mars
Is slightly adverse.
II should be u favorable rule for
aaVeftlsers ana for all who may hene-
III from publicity.
Architects come under a sway that
makes for great activities, since many
splendid structures are to be built In
the cities of the United tSstes, those
who read the stars announce.
Young folk are subject to the most
helpful influences daring this confG-
uration, which should reveal to thdin
their faults and give them Tfew vision.
Shart journeys should be exceedingly
lucky, u begun today, In cases where
travel IL In the interests Of any COM
mercial organization profit is indicat-
ed.
There Is q sign read M f~oreshadow-
Ing discoveries of oil, which will be put
10 new uses.
During this government OF stars the
mind IL supposed TO he peculiarly alert
and for this reason 1t Is helpful to all
who make laws or discuss diplomatic
problems
Mars continues to give warning OF
evil repohts as an aftermath of war.
Army officers may suffer from official
Investigations.
The sinister aspect OF Mars also
seems TO presase clashes among sol
diers and serious Observation-Disclosures due
TO varying national characteristics.
Mara and Venus are In positions rath-
or threatening to government affairs
which may be disturbed by radical
movements and labor troubles, Next
month Is most menacing In its general
forecast,
Depression of the money market In
England appears to be Indicated by
the planets,
A crisis Is shown for France, for
Mars ruling the midheaven at Paris
and eonJolned with Jupiter In the sign
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-08-25

The problem Of how to be happy
though married Is one of the questions
whose interest time cannot wither, nor
custom stale.
Those who are already married and
these who are about to marry are alike
t~anKiously seeking some remedy that
win simplify the matrimonial problem,
he a sure cure for the Ills Of domestic
The trouble seems to be that IN mat
irimony theories and facts 50 seldom fit
together. Take, for Instance, the fol-
lowing well-known recipes for insuring
teonnubial bliss;
Theory No. l. Husbands and wives
should have no secrets from each other.
Fact. The woman who tells her hus-
band everything she thinks Is the prize
goose in the bunch, for h thereby
lays herself liable to be derided for
feminine inconsistency every time she
changes her mind. Experience also
teaches a woman that she heads off
much argument and prevents family
fights If she does q thing first, n
then consults her husband about it
iafterward.
Fact No. .. Men are also wise that
the things a woman doesn't know don't
worry her. A wife can go TO bed at
10 o'clock and drop calmly off to sleep
IT she thinks that her husband is toll
ing over his ledger, while the mere
suspicion that he Is sitting in a FRIEND
ly game produces insomnia, with cur
tain lecture complications.
Neither does a wife reveal to her
dearest friend the business affairs and
the professional secrets that her hus-
band has not told her. Too much talk
gets people into trouble In the family
circle as often as it does In the outside
world, Saw wood, and say nothing, Is
as valuable a motto In domestic life
las it is in politics.
Theory No. 2. A wife should keep
her husband from wandering from his
own fireside by providing at home the
attractions he seeks abroad.
Fact. Men do not like at home the
very things they enjoy abroad. A
vaudeville wife who continually sang
land danced, and laughed, and grimaeed,
would bore a mar to death. Nor is IL
convenient in a small flat, or cottage,
to set up a first-class bar, replace the
bric-a-bric with spittoons and substi-
tute o beer cooler for a piano because
a husband likes to spend his evenings
in a saloon.
Theory No. 8. Husbands should en-
courage and cheer on their wives by
taking an interest in domestic affairs,
Fact. The most a~ggravating husband
on earth Is the one who goes shopping
around the house, prying into the ice
box and poking his nose into the house,
keeping.
The three things a woman will never
forgive are any suggestions about how
she should raise her children, manage
her servants, and keep down the gro
cerv bill. The husband who criticizes
his wife's cooking does 50 at his peril,
and wise is he who eats what Is set
before him, asking no questions ana