Bisbee daily review., 1919-10-10
.OLD FASHIONED COUNTY FAIR
 IS RECALLED

first prize with her bed quilt of three thousand pieces, and sister Sues cur rent jelly was redder and more delec- table than any other spread" and Mrs. Amanda Brown won the prize over Mrs. Hen-e-r-y Jones in a lace making contest, and Farmer Smiths pumpkins (pronounced punkins) was yallower and bigger 'en Farmer Jen- kins's best homemade seed crop? Ye olde fashioned County fair to which mother and dad went many years ago, when they was kids all dressed up in their Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, a pumpkin along in the early morning dew. in the creaky old carry-all, all intent-by heck!-on meetin' all the other fellers and gals from over the other side of Short Mountain?
 Mother and dad may not have been interested, but grandma can sure re- member the fakers who swarmed in the wake of every county fair-the same fakers whose proteges still flut- Ter to the fun centers of the earth with their persuasive smiles. comicaI songs, elegant manners and convinc- ing oratory. Grandma can tell about one bargain" in particular on which she 'bit." Standing in an open barouche, holding up his gewgaws, the faker proceeded thusly:
 Now, ladies and gents. while the professor who entertained you is resting, I'll give you the opportunity of lifetime in securing a few neces- sary notions required daily by a well regulated family, at prices so much lower than those asked by storekeep- CTS in this village as to cause their faces to burn with shame. We are able to do it because of our New York connections, and because we buy such quantities and always pay cash Our business motto is Small profits and large sales Now, here's a paper of pins, twelve rows, thirty pins to a row, grand total of 360 pins, the best nickel-plated steel wire pins manufactured. You couldn't dupli- cate the package in this village for fifteen cents. Now, I'll tell you what I'm goin' to do. Pm goin' to give you five packages of these pins for a quarter. Remember, you couldn't buy one package in your own home town for fifteen cents. But wait, just an extra inducement, ladies and gents; I'll throw in a paper of the finest steel needles to be obtained anywhere "a needle for every kind of work that housewife requires-and half a dozen spools of white cotton thread 200 yards of white cotton thread, best quality. soft finish on each speel all for quarter But hold on folks, feel generous tonight I'll put the five packages of pins, the paper of needles and the half-dozen dainty spools of thread in this danty paper box. And then in one of every five boxes I'll slip a dollar bill-just to keep the currency in circulation these hard times, gents-and then I'll mix up the boxes indiscriminately and sell 'em right out of the carriage, gents at twenty-five cents each. Now, gents step right up and get five packages of the fine pins, a paper of needles half dozen spools of fine thread and Q chance to make seventy-five cents in addition by investing quarter and win the everlasting love of your wife by buying something every vel regulated family requires. Step live ly, now, and have your change ready.
 For, of course. grandma will make it appear that the address was di rected entirely to the gents" and that grandpa "fell' for it. And while grandpa insists that it was grandma who was taken in by the suave faker little grandma gently reminds hin about the medicine man who sold the famous "rheumatiz cure" guaranteed to cure any and all manner of ills.
 "You recollect as we'll as I do Hiram" she reminisces. "how that slick fellow started in by pulling 6 wad of greenbacks from his pocket and offering to give 5000 to charity for a case of. anything he couldn't cure with his elixir. Then he invited anyone in the crowd to take his treat ment free. A lot of chaps went uI quickly And you. Hiram. thought Il was all true, when knew all the time they were members of the medicine mans own fake crew. And you was fully convinced when one fellow, who claimed to have been deaf from childhood, was cured so he could heal his watch tick in his pocket. Another one got his eyesight back. A thirC one had his lame leg annointed anC at once hopped around lively-ike while still another one, who said h' was confirmed drunkard, had h1' mouth all sprayed out, and at once took the pledge for good and keep
 And you, too, Hiram (tee-hee-heeD
 got some of the rheumatiz cure, ant lowed it helped ye very much, While ftNcf nlQir