davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

loss of thousands OF lives from hun
ger and malnutrition. But the allied
council Is ready for them on this point
with statistics that prove the infant
mortality In German cities would have
been kept at near normal If the dis
trlbution Of the country's milk supply
had been efficient. since the milk pro
duction never was below As per cent
Of the pre-war figures. Mortality in
hospitals, due TO lack of rubber and
cotton, also was cited by the Germans.
To this the allies reply that the i'm
ports Of rubber and cotton were much
in excess Of hospital requirements but
the authorities chose to devote these
supplies to military purposes, and for
this choice the allies cannot be held re-
sponslble.
These are the outstanding points In
the contemporaries made by the
Huns They object. Of course, to In
nummerable other clauses In the
treaty, especially the economic provl-
sions, and offer many substtutions
and notifications. 1t is not likely that
the council Of four will require many
days TO digest the document and re-
ply TO It. Then the Germans will be
required to sign the treaty within a
given time. presumably before June
IS. If, Unexpectedly, they refuse to
sign, they will be given u hours no.
tlce OF the termination Of the armistice
and then the blockade will be restored
with all It's former rigidty and the
allied armies OF occupation will adj
vance farther into German territory.
No one pretends that the Germans
could offer serious armed resistance to
such movement. An indication Of
the unyleldlng spirit of the allies was
given last week when American and
British troops were landed at Danzig
and their warships began to gather
there.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

Lieutenant Commander Read and
his crew Of the American navy plane
NC-4 completed their great achieve
ment Of crossing the Atlantic by air
plane by flying from the Azores to LIS
bon, Portugal The last leg Of the ep.
och-maklng flight was without special
incident. The bold avlators were re.
ceived in Lisbon with plaudts and Civ.
en- decorations.
Hawker and Grleve given up for
dead. were picked up in mld-Atlantic
by a small steamer which took them
to Great Britain. There they were
welcomed ms the heroes they undouht.
eddy are, though their attempt failed.
II was rcgrettable that Hawker should
show himself 20 be a poor sport by
hollttllng and sneering at the feat OF
the Americans.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05
The Elephants

Little Bobby was taken to see the
welcome home parade. His previou:
experience with parades had beer
limited to those of Ringing Bros
After watching the passing lines o.
soldiers for about half an hour. he
turned to his mother and asked
"When will the elephants get here7
indianapolis News.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05
FOUGHT the Midniuhts.

Johnny came home from Sunday
school quite thrilled by the lesson. ut
was all about the Midnights," he said.
"The what?" asked his father.
"The Midnights," repeated the boy.
"Teacher told us how Gideon fought
the Midnights and knocked the day
lights out of 'em in no time"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

The great general strike which has
tied up and almost isolated Winnipeg
has not vet been brought to an end,
and. despite the efforts of the govern
mcnt representatives, is spreading to
other cities Of western Canada. The
authorities declare the ngltators are
trying to overthrow the dominion and
provincial governments and TO estab-
fish bOlsheyIsm. This the strike lead
ers deny, but their course lends credi-
blllty TO the accusation. 0stensbly
the strike is to enforce the workers.
demand for the right Of collective bar
gaining, but the plan to form the zone
big union" fostered by the |. w. W.,
is apparently at the bottom Of the trou-
BILE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05
pISTRUsT MOVE OF AMIR
IN Offer Of Armistice, British See
Merely Desire TO Gain Time
for Operations.

London.--Tbe British political agent
Of Khyber, Northwest India, who re-
ceived an offer Of an armlstice from
the commander Of the Afghans, which
has been described as ruse 70 gain
time. was instructed, the Indian Off
Ger announced, to reply that II the
amir OF Afghanistan wants peace be
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05
The Reason.

81 call this my war garden"
"Why so now?"
because feel 1t has only fight
ing chance"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

News from Russia is frequently de-
layed and often confusing, but the
latest advices from that wretched
country show that Admiral Kolchak
is unremlttngly driving the bolshevlk
forces inward. Some days ago he was
attacking Orenburg an important rail
way Junction and bolshevlk strong
hold IN southeastern Russia. Dis.
patches from OmsI told OF revolt
against the soviet rule IN the Ukraine,
Trotzky's forces thus being attacked
from the rear. The Esthonians CON
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

If you are afraid to ask for what
you want the chances are that sons
one will hand you lemon.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

At home in Germany the counter
proposals seemed to please no one.
The conservative papers denounced
them as too yielding and the radical
press said they did not yield enough,
None had much hope of their sue
cess.
According to correspondents In Ger
many, the Germans Intend to sign the
treaty, but also intend 10 eyade its
terms in every way possible. This
would mean that the allies would be
compelled to keep under arms a large
force Of collectors" The German
people as a whole, say these CORE
spondents, have adopted the position
that they will pay for the war only
what is forced out Of them. They are
more united in spirit than at any time
before for several years. and cannot
be brought TO see that they are 3 de-
feated not n conquering people. In
other words, say these observers, Ger
many has not had enough whipping
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

The terms Of peace with Austria,
though not wholly completed, were
handed to the Austrian delegates. All
the territorial questions were included,
but certain economic arrangements
and the matter Of reparation were left
for further consideration. 1t was
known, however, that Austria would
he required TO pay about 2,500000,0 600
kroner indemnity and that the pay
ment of a like sum would be apportion-
ed among Hungary, Czecho-Slavakia,
Iugo-Slavia, Roumanla, Poland and
Italy. The countries that formerly
formed parts OF the Austro-Hunga-
rian empire have agreed to share in
the payment of indemnity, not as en-.
emles Of the allies, but In recognition
Of their liberation. They also will re-
deem proportionately their share OF
the Austrian paper currency in circu
latlon within their boundaries Italy
Is included because or her acquisition
of the Trentino. Trieste and other ter
rltory that was Austrian.
II was announced In Paris that the
Adratlc muddle had been cleared NJ
at last. Flume is to be in independ
ent city and Italy is TO get SebenIc,
and lara, together with soyerignt.
over certain strategic Islands.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

Why shouldn't soldiers sleep on
their knapsacks7
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

In the United States senate the bat
tie over the league Of nations Is pro
ceedlng merrily, and on Wednesday
the Democratic national committee
took hand. 1t unanimously adopt
ed resolutions demanding that the
league covenant be ratified by the SEN
ate, which is controlled by the Repub-
Leans. and then its members indicated
that the rejection of the covenant
would not be unwelcome to them, be-
cause 1t would force the political is
sue.
Reed of Missouri delivered in the
senate a fierce denunclation of the
league, In the course Of which he said
the covenant meant the domination Of
the white races by the black, yellow
and brown races, his appeal being
chiefly to the southern and far west
ern senators. Senator Robinson Of Ar
kansas, also Democrat, replied TO
Reed and challenged him to join him
in reslgning and seeking reelection
as test of the sentiment OF their
states on the league question.
Secretary Daniels, appearing be-
fore the house committee on naval af-
fairs, formally withdrew his recon-
mendation for second three-year
program of battleshlp building which.
ms he formerly said, was designed to
make the American navy the biggest in
the world. Last winter he told the con-
gressmen that even with a league OF
nations the United States should have
navy ms large as Great Britaln's.
Now he says we must show our conf
dence in the efficacy OF the league 10y
at least postponing any plans for such
| a naval increase.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

It Is difficult for some men to mean
what they say.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

tlnued their advance on Petrograd
while declaring they meant to occupy
that city only to relieve lis suffering
inhabitants. and If recent reports from
there are reliable the relief Is sadly
needed, for the people are said to be
starving to death by the thousands.
New units of the British volunteer
army arrived at Archangel and the
transports that took them were ex-
pected to bring away the American
troops that have been serving there,
and whose return has been so loudly
demanded. According to Maxim Gorky
who was interviewed by Frazier Hunt,
the outside world cannot aid Russia !;
bolshevlsm must run its course, bring
ing gradual starvation and paralysis Of
Industries; great revolt will follow,
with reign of terror, and then there
will be constituent assembly In which
the peasants will assert their power
and form "A democracy.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1919-06-05

The Budapest communists claimed
to have defeated the forces of the
enemy" that We're advancing on the
city, and assert that one Roumanian
regiment was almost wiped out. Bella
Kun, however, is not satisfying Lenine.
who announces that Moscow. not
Budapest, is the revolutionary center
Of the world and its orders must he
obeyed, and that the Hungarian revo-
luton is not proceeding well.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

stranger for that which is of inter- est only to yourself, always enclose a stamp. ABRAHAM LINCOLN"
 During the war a titled Austrian ap- piled to Lincoln for a commission in the army. T am a count" he said. '1 come of an ancient family. My rela- tives are highly respectable. T."
 Never mind" said Lincoln, batting him on the shoulder consolingly, you will be treated with Just as much con- sideration for all that"
 In the heat of a political campaign Lincoln's quick wittedness became terribly effective weapon. When he and Douglas tore around Illinois, publicly debating the negro question in town after town, Douglas scored heavily by telling the crowd one day how Lincoln used to sell groceries. cigars and whisky, and twas a very good bar tender"
 The crowd laughed uproariously, and as soon as Lincoln could make himself heard this was his reply:
 what MT Douglas has said, gentle men, is true I did keep grocery. I did sell cotton, candles and cigars, and sometimes whisky. But I remember that in those days MT Douglas was one of my best customers. Many a time I have stoon one side of the county and sold whisky to MT. Douglas on the other side. The difference be- tween us now is have left my side of the counter but Mir. Douglas still sticks to his.'
 Great repartee! But then, Lincoln was always great al repartee. At the White House, Sumner once caught Lin- coin in the act of polishing his boots
 Said Sumner, Why, MT. Presidents VI F. roIr xyfNfh q
 Sold Lincoln, Whose did you think, blacked?'
 Out in Illinois they called Lincoln Iong Abe" as his height was six feet four, while Douglas measured precise ly five feet two and on one occasion Lncoln's cronies got to discussing how long a mans legs ought to be. and left it to Lincoln.
 Well" said he, T should think they ought to reach to the ground"
 And speaking of legs, a deputation of red-hot abolitionists called on Lin- coin at the White House and vehement ly urged him to free the slaves. This he was not yet ready to do, for the right time had not come, and emancipation, if put through at that stage, would have been a good deal of a humbug. To make his point, Lincoln asked:
 How many legs will a sheep have if you call the tail a leg?"
 Five" they answered.
 You are mistaken" said he. Call ing a tail a leg doesn't make it os." DISLIKED STORYTELLING REPUTA-
 TION
 All his life Lincoln was celebrated as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

require any special genius or brilliant gift of mind.
 It is within the power of every man and woman to thrive through the cultiva- tion of prudent habits Practices of thrift do not bring a guarantee of great weath- But they are an absolute assur- ance Of modest success and a never-fail- ing Protection against complete failure and poverty.
 The primary value of thrift lies in the fact that through it we secure full ad- vantage of the little things
 Those who are thriftless in money mat ters do not, as rule, dissipate their resources in large amounts. The pro-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26
Money Making and Thrift

S. w. Straus, in the Thrift Magazine.
 Sheer lack of thrift has caused more financial failures than anything else How many men there are today who hmight have become wealthy had they only known how to save money! Dur ing the course of their careers they have earned large sums but these have slipped from their fingers from day to day. They had the natural gift of making money, just as their successful rivals, but they lacked the quality of permanent success which is thrift.
 Although the ability to make money is. to q considerable extent, matter of natural aptitude, the still more impor- tant accomplishments of thrift can be acquired by anyone. There is no excuse for not saving money.
 Thriftlessness is an indication of weak ness. IL is indecision of character.
 Thrift requires steadfastness, and the marsha,ling of the last ounce of moral strength that we DOSSeSS. But it does not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

a story teller, though he 1oathed the reputation and protested that he went in for that sort of fun merely by way of ramming home an idea, and yet, speaking of legs, a lot of his stories were clever enough to stand on their own-for example, one about the young man who was advised to take wife and said ''Whose?" and another about a fellow who murdered both his parents and asked the judge to let him off be cause he was a poor orphanr' and another about the lazy preacher who wrote long sermons and the reason was, he got to writing and was too lazy to stop" and still another about an old duffer who went to see Forrest play "Othello,' and, unaware that the actor was white man darkened for the pur- pose, remarked afterward, Darn me If don't think the nigger held his own with the best of 'emi"
 Everybody who had business at the White House came away with a good story and one such visitor was Gen. James Grant Wilson. Says he:
 "The President told of southern Illinois preacher who, in the course of his sermon, asserted that there was no record in the Bible or elsewhere of any perfect woman having lived on the earth. Whereupon there arose in the rear of the church persecutej looking g dame, who said, T know perfect wom- an, and I've heard of her every day for the last six years
 "'Who was sheT asked the minister.
 My husbands first wife.'"
 It Is true that deep lines furrowed Lincoln's countenance; true also that care and anxiety and sorrow accounted for many of those lines, and yet I be- lieye that not few were lines of laugh ter.
 Copyright 1919. by the Bell Syndi-
 cate, Inc)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26
ny ROLLIN LYNDE HARTT.

of tn court in Loncolns day was fond of telling Lincoln story in this style:
 Lincoln came in and leaned over my desk and reeled off a yarn so funny that l let out loud and piercing whoop. The judge called me to order roaring This must be stopped! MT. Lincoln, you are constantly disturbing this court with your levity Then to me. You may fine your self S5.' I apologized but told the judge the story was worth it. In a few min- utes the judge beckoned me to him. What was that foolishness Lincoln told you? he asked. I told him and he laughed aloud in spite of himself. Remit your fne, he ordered"
 Another judge was talking horse with Lincoln one day and claimed he could beat anybody in North America at horse trade. Well" said Abe, here's what I'll do. I'll make horse trade with you, but you must agree to my terms Neither of us shall see the others horse until it is produced here in the court yard of this hotel, and both of us shall then be required to swap. If either party backs out he forfeits S25'
 The judge took him up and out they went, to comb the town for suitable steeds.
 Quite & crowd had got together by the time the judge returned dragging a blithering U-necked spook of a nag, blind in both eyes, and just barely able to stand alone. Howls of m1rth greeted this ancient ruins arrival but they were nothing to those that rever- berated when Lincoln appeared car rying a sawhorse. Grave1y he set 1t down, amid tumultuous applause. Then, taking one glance at the beast the judge had brought, he said, This is the first time I ever got beaten trading horses, but, judge, you win."
 Whitney q hope you know who Whit ney was; I don't) says somewhere or other, 'T remember that once when sev eral of us were together, including Judge Davis, Lincoln suddenly asked a novel question regarding court prac- tice, addressing no one particularly, to which the judge, who was in the habit of appropriating his full share of any conversation, replied, stating what he understood the practice should be- Lincoln laughed. 'T asked that ques- tion hoping you would answer he said T have that very question to present to the court tomorrow and I am glad to learn that the court Is on my side.' :"
 A DIPLOMATIC EXCHANGE
 While trudging along a country road
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

one day. Lincoln was overtaken by a stranger in a buggy, Good morning." said Abe. will you have the goodness to take my overcoat to town?"
 'Why-er-yes, said the stranger. TT shall be pleased to. But how will you get it again?"
 Easily" said Lincoln. T intend to remain in it."
 Here and there Lincoln story has shocked the sanctimonious, and really I don't wonder. One especially I re- fuse to repeat though Anthony Gross did and the Harpers published it as follows:
 "A balloon ascension occurred in New Orleans befo' de war and after sail ing in the air for several hours the aeronaut, who was arrayed in silks
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

and spangles like a circuit performer, descended in a cotton field. where gang of slaves were at work. The frightened negroes took to the woods all but one venerable darky, who was rheumatic and could not run, and who, as the resplendent aeronaut approached, having apparently dropped from heav- en, said Good mawnin' Massa Jesus; how's yo' par"
 For passing along this irreverent whopped, Anthony will surely sizzle, and the Harpers along with him, but am not sure about Abe because maybe he didn't crack it. Every since Lin coln's humor became famous, unprin- cipled curmudgeons have been trotting out dire and sinful drolleries. and talk ing the curse off by blaming them on Abraham.
 If I had to pick out genuinely typi- cal Lincoln joke it would not be one like these. It would be his remark when the war department wanted a boy shot for sleeping at his post. ''Why do you want him shot?" said the President. shooting won't do him any good"
 Down south I recently found a big bank drumming up depositors by post ing handbills adorned not only with Lincoln's aphorism on thrift but with
  have heard southerners declare, Tn Lincoln we lost the best friend the south ever had" Why do they feel so, and act so, and talk so? Mainly be- cause of his humor. I think. To be sure, he was chivalrous to a vanquished foe,s but not one chfvalrous conqueror in a hundred makes the foe admire and love him. As rule, no matter how much kindliness he has, 1,a f,f1 ,,aI,r Nat T coin succeeded, for, while you can laugh at a man and hate him, it Is inn possible to laugh with man and hate him, especially if his jokes are genial jokes. and Lincoln's were.
 Mostly, that is On rare occasions he used his wit as a kind of dingbat for the presumptuous or the lazy. In the days when reports from McClellan's army were summed up in the exasperat- ing phrase, "All quiet on the Potomac" he nudged the general by writing, "I have just read your dispatch about sore tongue and fatigued horses. Will you pardon me for asking what the horses of your army have done since the bat tie of Antietam that fatigues any thing?" ind you remember his com ment on the stories about Grants de- votion to the flowing bowl
 What does he drink?"
 whisky, and in unusual quantities."
 Well, just find out what particular kind he uses ana I'll send a barrel to each of the other generals"
 COMPLIED WITH HER REQUEST
 He detested bad manners-by which I mean inconsiderateness or pomposity One day he received letter asking for his autograph and a sentiment" and signed by lady he had never met She received the autograph. She received sentiment" For Lincoln wrote in reply:
 Dear Madam: When you ask a.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-26

his pictures. Oh, gum! But you see, the kodak had not been matched in those days, and no one could snap you una wares. and sitting for your portrait in- doors was grim and ghastly experience. In some lair sniffy with unsanctified chemicals, your tormentor backed you up to the fatal chair, nipped your cranium in cruel wise, snarled, Now look pleas ant" and made you hold still for five aching, itching minutes at stretch.
 No wonder you looked solemn. So did Artemus Ward in fix like that. So did Josh Billings and John Phoenix and Petrolum Volcano Nasby. And so of course did Lincoln, frisky humorist though he was.
 I can't answer for his boyhood friv- olities; we have no records as to those: but he was hardly more than kid when he enlisted for service in the Black Hawk War { fool war, concerning which I could rave disgustingly, but won'D and got elected captain, and, as he afterward re- lated with glee, was marching his merry men across a field one day and saw a fence ahead with gate in it and for the life of him could not recall the word of command to "get them endwise' to go through. According to all known rules of warfare he ought instantly to have blown out his brains. But the predica- ment struck him amusing, and be- sides, he remembered old Deuteronomy's maxim, There's more than one way to skin a cat" Grinning inside, though regular hard-boiled captain outside, he beloved, This company is dismissed for two minutes, after which it will fall in again on the other side of the fence
 You will find, too, that his early career as a lawyer sparkled with fun. While defending a client charged with assault and battery, he popped out his habitual That reminds me- and treated the jury to yarn about man who was anfSlins along road with a pitchfork over his shoulder when a farmers dog approached discourteously and munched his leg. The man resented this quite perceptibly and jabbed the tines into the dog and killed him. At that, the farmer appeared, and the following exchange of felicitationS took place:
 What made you kill my dogr'
 What made him bite me?''
 ''But why didn't you go at him with the other end of the pitchfork?
 why didn't he ccme at me with his own other endy'
 EVEN THE OLD JUDGE LAUGHED
 An old codger who used to be clerk