davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

law in some respects, but should be while the last class do not conform to law and are condemned in the report. Thus there are sixteen in- stitutions of this kind in Alabama that should not be tolerated.
 Such counties as Pickens, Lime stone, Hale, Fayette, Bibb and Blount, containing no large towns and having a relatively small population, have better jails than Jefferson. Mobile and Montgomery counties are both in Class A. In all the jails of the state, except Baldwin, Chiffon, Cleburne. Cullman, DeKalb, Jackson, Lawrence and Marshall, only two meals a day are served. It would be more humane to serve three meals, which could be done without much if any additional expense by making one meal the priu- cipal meal of the day and the other two light. Three meals are more con- ducive to health and would doubtless tend to improve the relations existing between prisoners and jail officials.
 It is easy to understand why lief ferson, the most populous and the richest county in Alabama, has a second-class jail. The Jefferson coun- ty jail is twenty years behind the times. It is no reflection on the sheriff and his assistants that the Jefferson county jail is in Class B. The only way to remedy conditions now exist ing is to build a new structure, mat ter that has been agitated for some time, and should be acted on. The present jail is in every sense of the word "carbuncle," a term applied fo # wave ouo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

At the foot of Mt. Ararat cluster the Armenians, truly the people of the Ararat. Nesting under it's shoulder is Etchmiadzin, where Gregory the Illumi- nator received the vision that resulted in the conversion of the Armenian, far back, in the year 3OS
 70 little harried garden-land,
 Eden of mans birth,
 o tortured stricken country Her grief thrills all the earth.'
 -
 On that spot is built the venerable church about which all the history of this ever-persecuted nation centers There on this day is the seat of the Cath olikos, or head of the Armenian church Armenia, roughly speaking, consists of the tableland from the Cacvian to the Mediterranean.
 Katherine Lee Bates sings: Armenia! The name is like sword In every Christian heart. o martyr Ea-
 tion, Eldest of all the daughters of the word Exceeding all in bitter tribulation!
 
 You can speak of the Armenian church, but Armenia is not 8 state, nor even geographic unity but is general term for the regions where the Armenians live. It consists of Turkish, Russian and Persian Armenias, with total area Of t33. 289 square miles and an Armenian population of over 4.25o,ooo souls. viscount James Bryce thus speaks ot the land:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

Here is a country blest with every gift of nature; fertile soil possessing every variety of exposure and situation; a mild and equable climate; mines of iron, copper, silver and coal in the moun- tains; a land of exquisite beauty, which was once studded with flourishing cities and filled by an industrious population" :"
 But the blight of Turkey has fallen upon it and famine stalks through the land.
 Armenia! The name is like a cry
 Of agony that shrills around the sphere, Bread, bread before her last starved
 children die
 And tell to Christ how cold our hearts
 are here'
 It's hard to realize it but in the area of the near east or western Asia, with Armenia as the chief sufferer, more than 8 million men, women and children have lost their lives through massacre, de- rortation, disease, starvation-all during the last two years.
 Atrocities have now ceased but the remnant of the people, including hun dreds of thousands of orphans, is in dan ger of starving to death.
 Many of these are away from their homes which have been destroyed They have no means of livelihood. Their sole dependence is American charity.
 "Armenia A figure on a cross, Do la tad yxyifh irpnlnrin Y eyes!
 Except we aaye her darkness lies across
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
ARMENIA, THE CRUCIFIED-By Frank Willis Barne

All Christendom, shamed in her sad
 rifice."
 The Armenian inhabitants of Turke are people of great industry, intelligenc and aptitude for business, and their sud cess in trade and in the liberal arts ha been a valuable asset to the Turkish nd tion. The Turkish grammar, printin press and theatre owe their origin to Al ability made them the leading merchar< of their country. The Turks have take advantage of the massacres and depoa tations to repudiate their debts to NJ menians and to loot their houses a stores.
 Any sherman Bridges says:
 Had I the tears of all the years q
 Since tears began to flow I could not shed them fast enough #
 sTo rightly speak her woe!' z The special characteristics of Armenif( women are sensitiveness, gentleness aII refinement. They are artistic and hal contributed much into literature and a \ More devoted family relationships th;l exist among the Armenians are nowhey to be found, and this makes their pres ent position agonizing in the extreme Many thousands in Europe and AmeriS have received no tidings of their relative in Turkey for over four years. They d not know whether their loved ones az killed. deported or dragging out wear existence somewhere as refugees.
 "She stretches out her bleeding hand
 Let her not cry in vain. 4l o give and give and give once more
 TO ease Armenia's pain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
Let s Have a Great
 Relief Campaign

NOUNTY CHAIRMAN J. MFR " GER BARNETT of the commit tee for raising funds for the relief of the sufferers in Bible lands and the aid of our local charities will have the active cooperation of the allied armies, and that should mean high achievement.
 The cry for help that comes from the Armenian-Syrian Christians is |heart-rending, and no one with spark of humanity will fail to contribute as generously as possible to this cause.
 The amount sought in Jefferson county for foreign suffers and local institutions is seventy-five thousand thirty-five thousand dollars for the near east and forty thousand for home charities that need public aid.
 The drive begins next Wednesday and will continue until the goal is reached. The committee and the field workers are pledged to maximum of effort; pledged to leave nothing un-
 done to make the campaign one of Jefferson county's 100 per cent sue lcesses.
 In order for the drive to start off with spirit and high promise, every business concern and every individual is urged to be ready with donation on Wednesday. It is hoped that con- tributions will be sent in large num- bers to relief headquarters in the
 forenoon of Wednesday. The more aid given voluntarily the lighter will be
 the burden of the allied army; for
 those who do not respond to the gen.
 eral appeal without being personally solicited will be looked up and be-
 sought to do their part.
 At least half the amount to be raised should be reported on the open ling day of the campaign, and if the people are true to form the entire amount will be in hand by the end of
 the week. Let there be no apathy any
 where.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
''Impe1ial Jefferson"
 Has a Class B Jail

7HHE report of State Prison Inspec-
 H tor Glenn Andrews, M. D., for two years, ending September 30, 1918, contains much valuable information about the prison system of Alabama, carefully compiled and presented in such way that quick access is given to all who are interested in this sub ject, one that has not been given enough attention by the public.
 It is rather discouraging, however, to note that the Jefferson county jail is placed in Class B. The county jails of the state are divided into five classes-A, B, c, D and E. There are twenty-five in the first class, nineteen in the second, seven in the third, eight in the fourth and sixteen in the fifth. The Class A jails conform to all re- quirements of the law and are equipped with modern appliances and improvements. Class B jails conform to law requirements, but are only par tially equipped with modern appli- ances. Class c jails need improve ments. Class D iails conform to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

When man is describing a girl and says that she is just as pretty as she can be, We don't know whether she is handsome or homely. Every girl is jus. as pretty as she can be. That is, she is just as pretty as she can make herself.
 Watch mans eyes if you doubt his word. If his eyes and his tongue tell the same story, he is telling the truth
 We don't know where the married women get the idea that chorus girls were put on earth to lead innocent hus- bands astray. Most of the chorus girls we know are sedate danes who spend their time after the show in sewing and knitting fancy things for their grand children.
 A drunk with a chip on his shoulder isn't the most persistent trouble hunter The prize goes to the woman who mar ries man to reform him.
 When a smart woman is writing a let ter that she is going to give to her hus- band to mail for her, she dates it a week or two ahead. By the time he finds it in his pocket and mails it, the date will be about right.
 A girl is so submissive during the engagement that man imagines that she will maintain you-kick me -and-Pll kiss-you attitude during their married life. But his pipe soon goes out.
 It may be different after the daughter marries But you never see mother who dresses better than her unmarried daughter.
 The trouble with paying a girl compi- ments is that first thing you know you will be paying her bills.
 You often hear single girl singing: "All That I Ask Is Love- but you never hear a married woman singing it.
 Give man six months in which to back out and he will agree to do almost anything for you.
 Farmers know that scrawny calves should not be exposed" to the indictment weather. But girls do not seem to have that much sense.
 The reason why young thing enjoys the passionate love story she is reading is because she doesn't know that it was written by an old maid with a mustache.
 There isn't any difference between flat and level unless you tell a man that he is flat-headed when you mean that he is level headed
 Funny how a photographer can mako some other mans wife look pleasant and keep her mouth shut when he cant make his own wife do it.
 Any one of the last crop of June brides can tell you that he has quit raving over ~er and is now raving at her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
L'ENVOI

By Kipling. ' When the earths last picture is paina' And the tubes are twisted and dric When the oldest colors have faded | And the youngest critic has died--.} We shall rest, and faith we shall neN
 it, Lie down for an aeon or two,
 Till the Master of all good workni. Shall set us to work anew. And those that were good shall be haprl They shall sit in golden chair, t And splash at a ten-league canvas -i With brushes of comets hair; They shall find real saints to draw frol Magdalene, Peter and Paul; They shall work for an age at a sitti,l And never be tired at all. t And none but the Master shall praise l And none but the Master shall blame: And no one shall work for money, 7 And no one shall work for fame:
 But each for the joy of working
 And each in his separate star
 Shall paint thes things as he sees the For the God of Things As They Ar
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
PRINCES ISLANDS RICH IN ROMANCE

of Athens. Irene married Empero. lAI | " and soon became the true ruler q the Byzantine empire. Upon the deat ] of her husband she assumed the rein | of government for her 10-year-oid son Constantine VI. For a decade her reigi was distinguished by frmness and wis dom. Then began the conflict with he
 ambitious son which terminated in tn greatest blot upon her career, the cap ! ture of the fleeing youth, his return t | Constantinople, where by his mother orders his eyes were gouged out. It wouli to interpret an eclipse of the sun wilic
 took place about this time as sign 0 heavens horror at such deed /, Another famous prisoner of Prinkip
 was Zoe the wife ot three emperors-,
 Romanus III, Michael " and Constars | tine TX. 1 One of the most populous of the is 1 lands is Halki (also spelled Chalcitis aaI khalkD, where there is naval colleRl and theological College A Creek con,
 mercial school occupies the site of an .ai cient monastery. At the entrance to tA school is tn tombstone of Sir Edvaf
 Barton, English ambassador to Turxl during the reign of Queen Elizabeth ~ "On the Island of Plate the peace de
 gates will find a castle, built after tll i model of Windsor castle. It is now faH | ing into decay. Once it was the summd
 residence Of Sir Henry Bnlwer (tSI | famous author of the Clayton Bulv~fl
 treaty of American history when he k, | British ambassador at ConstantinopA| ! Upon hts retirement, the one-time Br,a Is ambassador at Washington sold |
 | island to the KhedNe of Egypt, who;s family still owned it at the outbreak ! thu world war g
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
7 N WASHINGTON, D. C., February l..
 ' graphic society, from it's Wash

\V\W tSpeClal. )-Ine NdtiOidA HOo-
 ' V graphic society, from it's Wash ington headquarters. has Isued the FOL lowing bulletin concerning the Princes Islands. in the Sea of Marmora, where the warning factions of Russia have been asked to send delegates for confer erce. at which it Is hoped the internal dissensions In the vast Slav dominlons can be composed:
 "It would seem that the peace confer- ence in Paris may have had the number of the Princes Islands in mind as well as their geographical location when they were named as the place of meet ing on February Is for the warning fac tions in Russia. There are nine islands enough for each group of delegates to have an island to themselves should such a course of segregation provo ex- pedient.
 ..The islands lie from 10 to 15 miles southeast of Constantinople, near the Asiatic shore Four of them are inhab- tied, and the largest of the group, Prinkipo (aiso called Pityusa, meaning "rich in pines') has population of more than lO,OOO. Turks and Greeks being about equal in number.
 'The islands In modern times have been popular as summer resorts, owing to the salubrty of their climate and their prox- imity to the Turkish capital.
 'Few islands have a history more poignant with tragedy, with high hopes and shattered dreams, with dabolcal machinations of empire wreckers and makers than these few square miles of earth washed by the waters of the Mar mora Their very name is significant Of their past, for in the days of the Byzan-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
sf, V sF Unjust Features Is Luxuries Tax

F7T7HE retail merchants of Birming- Il ham have perfectly sound req sons for their protest against the so- called luxuries tax feature of the new revenue bill now before a conference committee of Congress.
 While they maintain that the tax itself is unjust and not sound econom- ically, it's most burdensome feature is the method by which it is proposed to collect 1t. Whenever an article above a certain price is sold the tax must be collected from the customer at the time. Forms must be made out, the exact percentage of tax must be fig ured and various details handled. In the meantime the customer must suf- fer the annoyance and worry of the delay and inconvenience, leaving aside any injustice in the payment of the tax itself.
 It is contended that this tax will so tend to discourage the purchase of certain classes of merchandise that It will affect the factories which pro- duce the goods and throw out of work great numbers of people, thus help ing to aggravate labor situation at a time when it is felt that the coun- try's best interest is served by keep ing every possible plant busy in or der to keep employed as many work men as possible.
 Although the matter is now in con- ference committee it is hoped that it Is not yet too late to rectify the un- just features of the tax measure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
Auto Training School

''The training school being conducted every Tuesday night in the Chamber of Commerce auditorium is growing more interesting all the time," said Clarence Lloyd. secretary of the club, and is be . ing largely attended The automobile men of this city are cooperating with the club and have offered the services of u cir mechanics and demonstrators te assist in conducting the classes. With this help and with men who have driven automobiles for years telling the vari ous troubles they have experienced and the mechanics give the remedy for this, the men attending are learning much valuable information regarding their cars and the upkeep of them. The training school is one of the most in- teresting features of the local club.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
New POstOfffce
Feels Queer At Home

Tt does seem a bit queer to be at home once more and busy about my own private affairs said Herbert Steiner, who during the war was hard at work in the ordnance department in Washington as lieutenant
 "f got so used to working for Uncle sam that all private business seemed of little consequence. Now I am back at my old job and I dare say that be- fore long I will be in the same old rut and looking back to my experience as soldier as the greatest adventure that ever came into my life"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

the empire they were the retreats, either forced or voluntary, of princes and prin- cesses who had fallen into disfavor at the nearby court.
 Each island of the group could tell Its own story of famous exiles. None is more pathetic, however, than that of Proti as the prison of the deposed em- peror, Romanus ", called Diogenes. The life of this ruler reads like one of the fictitious romances of Cleopatra's days. He was a distinguished young soldier descended from Cappadocian family. Having been implicated in a conspiracy to depose his sovereign, Constantine TX, he was condemned to be executed for treason. While being led to his death, ac- oording to one account, he caught the eye of the Empress regent, Budocia Macrem- bolitssa, who instantly fell in love with him, granted him a pardon and shortly thereafter married him. After his coro- nation as Emperor he led three success ful expeditions against the Seljuk Turks, but his fourth campaign, against Alp Arslan, was a disastrous failure.
 "Compelled to>pay a large ransom for his release, Romanus returned home to be defeated at the hands of a pretender to the throne. Blinded, he spent his few remaining days of abject misery impris- oned in a monastery on the highest point of Proti.,
 "On the Island of Antigene. the great patriarch. Methodius, spent seven years of his life imprisoned with two brigands'
 "On Prinkipo, which is now dotted with fine residences and gardens, the trav- eler is shown the ruins of convent in which Il centuries ago the remarkable woman, Empress Irene I, was imprisoned or a time. poor but beautiful orphan
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

ing Berlin with an ax over his shoul- der trudsing sturdily behind trans parency that reads somewhat after this fashion: Honest Bill Hohenzollern; for -"
 One does not know, of course, what office he would seek in republican Germany, but it seems fair to assume that William has hired a campaign manager
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
PASS THE HYPODERMIC

From the Chicago Tribune
 Some people are concerned over the possible dullness of dinner parties in the impending desiccated life, but their alarm Is groundless There will be changes, of course. Instead of Will you have another glass of wine?" it may be. "Will you have another shot in the arm7"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
WHY MEN LEAVE HOME

Ad in Prophetstown Qll.) Echo
 Statement Corrected-I did not leave my wifes bed and board and that I was forced out. Been sleeping in the barn for six months, but got too cold. I had to find a bed. And I don't intend to contract any debts on her name. and won't be responsible for any of hers.
 R, J. CLEMENTZ.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
Julian Cnheen Out of Danger

"I am glad to state that my son. Julian, who has been desperately i'll with Spanish i0fluenza at Camp Han cock, Augusta. Ga, is out of danger. although Mrs. Caheen is still with him." said Ferd Caheen, who left last night for the east on buying trip. The sickness of Julian gave me an insight into the care with which our government surrounds its soldiers, and my connection with the officers has left me with very high opinion of them as true gentlemen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
NAIL HIM!

From the Houston Post !
 It doesn't make any difference wh the color Of his hide or his hair m; be, the man who is satisfied with nov ing less than an advantage and turl down what is right and fair is an enee
 10 his country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
7. ADRIFTT WITH THE TIMES
A PLAGARIST

A PLAGARIST "The flowers of this orators elt quence seem to blossom without e' fort"
 "Ahem! Some of his most eloqueE passages have a familiar ring" 'Yes?'
 'I suspect those flowers blossom, in another mind" BRANCHING OUT "Does Mir. Jagsby care much abot travelT' He didn't until recently. Jagsh used to be content to make tour the downtown district in taxicab. Sl now that we are going to have bort dry nation, he's talking of enlargin his itinerary to include few of tA European capitals" KIND TREATMENT It was decreed
 We'd lick the Teut; We'll now proceed
 To feed the brute.
 TWAS EVER THUS
  Few are the mys . Teries that vex Us more than this:
 To lose our specs.
 Akron Times, And yet search
 Ing will, I VOW, Disclose them perch Ing on your brow.
 -Yonkers Statesman< And when we find Them where we look, Some one has got Our mag. or book.
 Houston Post At those who, lose
 Their specs we scoff, But wild words use l When we knock 'em off,
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
WELCOMING A HERO

in seer ct over a sentimental love tale.
 WELCOMING A HERO
 Has the returned hero been greeted by civic committee at the pier and several brass bands?'
 "Oh. yes."'
 And I presume the customary ban quets have been prepared?'
 "He has been the guest of honor at seven such affairs"
 Good, We may now proceed with the congressional investigation of his war record" A GENTLEMAN OF LEISURE
 Mandy, do you want divorce from Uncle NedY'
 'T sho' do, jedge. Dat nigger ain't no count, nohow." 'Tt's a case of incompatibility, ] suppose?"
 'rWFell. 3edge if settin in de sun when de sun shines an settin' by de fire when de win blows an eatin' m e out O house an home is dat incom- whut you said, den Isho' has got dat kindao' case aginst i'm" LOVES LITTLE THINGS
 Take the case of the woman who weighs over 200 pounds"
 "wen%'
 "she seems to have only two choices for a pet-a 115-pound husband or cauary"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02
THE GENIAL BANDIT

There are motors by the million, There are motors by the billion, There are motors anywhere and any time. There are motors which will bump you, There are motors which will thump you In an arctic land or in tropic cline. There are drivers who will sting you, There are drivers who will wing you, There are drivers who will press your bank roll flat. I don't like the modern bandit. But I've always liked to hand t To the Cabby
 with
 the
 silk
 hat. George E. Phsir, in the Chicago Her. aid and Examiner. Full well do I remember It was August or September That I journeyed to the City by tho Lake; As along State street wandered, In my heart of hearts pondered Were 1t we'll ride about the town to take. So I found a genial cabby, Soaked with alcohol and gabby, Who drove a mild and inoffensive nag; Those were days when motors speeding Did not call for constant needing And no motor bandit gathered in the swag. Down the boulevard we clattered And it very little mattered That my jehu was both weather worn and fat, For we rolled along sedately And sight that pleased me greatly Was the sunshine
 hat.
 BEHIND THE SCENES
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-02-02

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God, grant deIiverance from the worship of appearances. May I count myself disgraced because l do the wrong, not because I am punished for it. May I count myself blest because I do the right, not because I am praised for it. Help me, o great God, to be of single mind, q lover of substance and not of shadow. In Christ's name. Amen.-H. M. F..