davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
SOME EXCUSE FOR FAILURE
But Civil Service Candidate Who
Could Not Place Goofusburg Did
Not Pass His Examination.

Now that the government depart.
ments have begun to cut down their
forces, examinations are the order Of
the day. Incidentally, the civil service
commission is finding that many
grades are unusually high, for about
half the woman war workers who came
to Washington originally left jobs of
teaching the young idea how to shoot.
Hence, they just naturally tie the av-
erage civil service question into a bow
knot and hang the whole works on the
line In no time.
Every now and then, however, the
commission manages to dig up a ques-
ton that no one can answer. Such a
one was found recently for a constit.
uent of Representative Ayres of Kan.
sas.
Driving through Maryland, a few
days ago, with this particular constit
uent, the congressman was somewhat
obfuscated when his friend pointed
out one ramshackle house, standing
in the middle of a cornfield, and ask
ed:
Can you name that county seat for
me, congressman"
mo, l can't, "Ayres said, "and I don't
think any one else can"
"Oh, yes, it can be DONE" came the
reply. "That is Goofusburg."
"Well," responded the congressman
that may be true, put it doesn't ap
pear that Goofusburg has been func
tioning for some time"
"Quite right" continued the unfor.
tunate constituent. ut went out OF
business as a county seat right after
the Revolutionary war. l believe, but
that didn't prevent the civil service
commission from asking me to locate
1t recently. / failed"
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
PUT MATTER TO THE TEST
Maids Practical Demonstration That
Her Employer Was Wrong In
Statement She Had Made.

Jealousy" said DR.. Mary Dorgan
Lockwood in a lecture on domestic
science In Chicago-"jealousy Is hor-
rible thing.
ut isn't only lovers that get jealous.
Let me tell you a story.
Il once had a capable cook and an
incapable parlor maid. My husband
rushed into my study one morning and
said:
"'Grab your medicine case and
come quickly. The cooks hair is all
burned off,
"'Gracious! How did 1t happen?
".Jealousy,' said my husband. The
parlor maid overheard you say last
night that she couldn't hold a candle
to the cook
"'Well?'
"'Well, she did
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Preserving Morale.

Morale implies morals, and more.
1t may be possible to be perfectly clean
morally and yet have low morale.
Morale implies hope, courage, determi.
nation. Many a good man lacks these.
He is good morally, but has lost lis
grip on the world and himself. In
spite of his goodness he is doomed to
defeat. On the other hand a mar can't
have the highest morale If his life is
not clean. Mental and physical i'm
purity are bound to leave their stain
upon the life. Then in time of stress
something will give way and the papers
will talk about collapse and overwork
and things. The only way to meet
life's problems is to keep fit. That
means more than mere eating and
drinking. 1t means the proper care Of
the whole organism.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
A COLD

A cold in the summer tire, as every
body knows, Is the hardest kind Of a
cold to get rid of. The best and quick
est way Is to go to bed and stay there
II you can, with a bottle of "Boschee's
Syrup" handy to insure a good nights
rest, free from coughing, with easy ex-
pectoration in the morning.
But if you can't stay in bed you must
keep out Of draughts, avoid sudden
changes, eat ~sparingly Of simple food
and take occasional doses of Boschee's
Syrup, which you al buy at any store
where medicine is sold, a safe and eff
Gent remedy, made in America for o
than fifty years. Keep 1t handy.-Adv.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Had Fallen Down.

When the Los Angeles boys got In
the other day, the papers said Joy
was unconfined, but they were wrong.
At least there was one doughboy
whose face was not wreathed In
smiles.
Yes, the folks were there, and so
was the one and only girl, but, espe-
cially with the girl, the doughboy
seemed embarrassed.
Gee whiz," whispered a buddy In
his ear, "why the %shyness? She's
crazy for you to kiss her"
mix" walled our hero, shell be
off me for. life in a minute. When
went away I promised her the kaiser's
helmet, and I amt got it, seeT"-Los
Angeles Times.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
| .n rIrls. Ana .leeplnr aule.ly On ~.

al girls. And sleeping quietly on tn
window seat,
So moveless she seemed. so very
still, that suddenly a panic rear
smote Pllny. He took a hurried step
forward, and Alicia opened her eyes
They looked, first, straight into
Pliny's, and then dazedly about the
old, dismantled room. II was think
ing of the people who must have lived
and died here; and Of the brides
why, l must have fallen asleepl
Your"
YES" interrupted Caverly, II found
your hat on the grass. And | was
thinking of brides. too. Brides-and
this room. You see"-Pliny went on
like a race horse, giving the girl OF
the poppy hat 10 chance TO speak
there is a tradition In the Caverly
family that the eldest son always
meets his bride for the first time In
this room. It held true for three gen.
erations."
The girl raised her right hand to
her cheek and deliberately pinched II
so hard that the red mark, staining
the fair skin. was visible TO the young
man across the room.
Quickly he crossed and sat down be
side her. Boldly he did the pre-
sumptuous thing OF grasping, quite
gently, the hand responsible for the
blemish. "Why did you do that?" he
demanded sternly.
ITO make sure / was not dreaming"
answered Alicia, drawing away her
hand. "Who, pray, are you-who
walk into the Caverly mansion, spy
ing on sleeping girls and talking about
the traditions Of the placer
Pliny arose and bowed low before
Alicia. 81 am Pliny Caverly the
fourth" he said, land at your serv-
Ice, fair lady, forever. ! was born in
this room and OF the same day my
young mother died. The next week
my dad took me away and I've eve
seen the place till now. Poor dad
He never could bear to come back.
but I'm here at last, and just in
time to find you here. So the tradition
is fulfilled for the fourth time. Let's
put the house in order and live happily
ever after. What do you say"
Alicia gave the fourth Caverly just
one i%nstant's glance, and there was the
faintest, tiniest, remotest suggestion
of the shadow of a smile at one cor.
ner Of her mouth. But she looked
hurriedly at her watch, jumped to her
feet and replied
II say that I'm due at a garden
party at five and it's half after -four
now. It's very interesting nonsense
You talk, but l can't stay to listen"
"Oh, you don't have to-" briskly an
swered Pliny. "Tll just go along with
you. You see I'm going to always &c
along with you, through life. The
Caverly traditions, you know, always
come true"
Just taking things by and large
what, think you, were Pliny's chances
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
He Draws Hearts of Men.

On that day when our Lord Jesus
Christ was lifted up, all sorts of peo'
pie were drawn to him. There were
those who loved him dearly at the foot
of the Cross. There were scribes, and
learned men, and aristocrats, and
priests and common people. There
were simple peasants from the coun'
try, shepherds from the hills, and 9
motley crowd from the city streets
There were Roman soldiers an6 Cali
lean pilgrims. 1t was a crowd repre-
sentative of all the worlds people, and
today when he is lifted up ever as OF
old, he draws to himself the hearts
Of men.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Valuations.

"Why does a woman value pearls
and diamonds so highlyT
81 Dunno" replied Farmer Corn
tossel. 81 guess maybe it's for some
thin of the same reason these sum.
mel girls think more Of a four-leaf
clover than they do Of a whole load Of
hay"
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
The One Biz Opportunity

for men of moderate means to secure a small
farm, "Made Safe' for the farmer and inves-
tor, is on the East Shore of Lake Okeechobee.
Richest natural soil in the world. Muck 20
feet deep, perfectly drained. No fertilizer
used. Crops growing every montS N the
year. Write for folder.
Pahokee Realty Co.. Inc, Okeechobee. Florida
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
HOW's This ?

We offer $4,000 for any case OF catarrh
that cannot be cured by HALLS
CATARRH MEDICINE.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE Is TAX
en- internally and acts through the Blood
on the Mucous Surfaces Of the System.
Sold by druggists for over forty years.
Price 75c. Testimonials free.
=. J. Cheney & Co.. Toledo. Ohio.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Not Enouqh for External Use.

wv GhoNS" W. GNeS'ha' ooS
Two English mothers were talking
about the jam ration. (" Wot's four
ounces of jam a week to my biby," said
n of them. "Why, l used to wash an
off his flee after tea hevery day."
Boston Transcript.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
The Work That God Appoints.

I am not bound to make the w0rlc
go right, but only to discover and
to do with cheerful heart the work thn
God appoints.-Jean Ingelow.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

"These + my salad days." re-
marked the green worm as it slowly
approached the lettuce in the flourish
ing garden.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
No Cash VaIuc Vet.

Neighbor-"So your son got his B. A.
and his M. A." Father-"Yes, but his
PA still supports him"
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
To Live In Peace.

Peace is the fruit of love for to live
In peace. we must learn to suffer MANI
things.-De Lamennais.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
A TO GIVE UP
Was Almost Frantic With the Pain and
Suffering Of Kidney Complaint.
Deans Made Her Well

Mrs. Lydia shuster, 1888 Margaret
St, frankfort, Pa, says: "A cold start
ed my kidney trouble. My back began
TO ache and got sore and lame. My
joints and ankles became swollen and
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Pass That Day in Peace.

You have only a day to pass or
earth so act as to pass that day ir
peace.-De Lamennais.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Describing Her.

els she the kind of woman VINO
knows it all?" "No, but she's the kind
Of woman who tells 1t ALL"
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
@NSM

No other I've is packed so safely and con-
veniently, or Is SO economical-not a bit
wasted.
No other I've or soap cleans and disinfects
so easily and thoroug hly as Banner Lye. 1t
is. not oid-style I've. Odorless and colorless;
the greatest cleanser and disinfectant the
world has ever known. Use 1t for cleaning
your kitchen, cellar, sinks, dairy, milk pans
and bottles. for softening water, and the
labor of washing and cleaning will be cut In
half MI LAKE PURE SOAP
and saves money besides. A Decent can Of
Banner I4ye, 5h pounds of kitchen grease,
ten minutes easy work Ono boiling or large
kettles), and you have 10 pounds of best
hard soap or 20 gallons of soft soap.
Banner Lye is sold by your grocer OF
druggists. Write to US for free booklet,
uses Of Banner Lye."
The Penn Chemical Works Philadelphia USA
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

Defeat Is always lying in wait for
the man who is sure he can't lose.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

Poverty is the mother of many eff
forts.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

painful and it felt as if
needles were sticking in NENAAyM
to them. / finally had to ~&M
give up and went from
bad to worse. H~S
my kidneys didn't act v ~
right and the secretions Ax
were scanty and distress V
ing. / had awful dizzy S
spells when everything 8
before me turned black;
n time ] couldn't see Mrs. Sinister
for twenty minutes. Awful pains In my
head set me almost frantic and / was
80 nervous, | couldn't stand the least
noise. How / suffered! Often / didn't
care whether l lived or died.
Il couldn't sleep on account of the
terrible pains in my back and head.
Nothing seemed to do me a bit of good
until / began using Dodn's Kidney
Pills. / could soon see they were help
ing me; the backache stopped, my kid
neys were regulated and / no longer
had any dizzy spells or rheumatic pains.
| still take Dodn's occasionally and
they keep my kidneys in good health"
SpoTn to before me,
r. w. CASSIDY. JR.,
Notary Public.
Get Doan's al Any Store. 60e Boz
DOAN'S h pInns
FosTER-MnBURN CO.. BUFFALO. N. Y.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

Debt makes towards OF us all-pro-
vided we are honest.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
important 10 Mothers

One today is worth two tomorrows.
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25
Don't Be Discouraged.

The burning thoughts Of tomorrow
are often thrown into the waste bas-
ket of today
Grainger County news. (Rutledge, Tenn.) 1917-current, 1919-09-25

A man may not be a coward because
he is afraid of n woman.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-02-27
Thin PEOPLE
SHOULD TAKE
PHOSPHATE
Nothing Like Plain 5itro~. Phosphate to
Put on Firm, Healthy Flesh and
to Increase Strength, Vlgor
a'td Nerve Force.

Judging from the countless prepara-
tons and treatments which are contin-
ually being advertised for the purpose
of making hin people fleshy, develop
ing arms, neck and bust, and replacing
ugly hollows and angles by the soft
curved lines of health and beauty. there
are evidently thousands of men and
women who keenly feel their excessive
thinness.
Thinness and weakness are usually
due to starved nerves Our bodies need
more phosphate than is contained in
modern foods. Physicians claim there
is nothing that will supply this def
cheney so well as the organic phosphate
known among druggists as bitro-phos-
phate, which is inexpensive and sold by
Washburn-Lyle in Memphis, and most
all druggists, under a guarantee of sat
isfaction or money back. BY feeding
the nerves directly and by supplying the
body cells with the necessary phos-
phoric food elements, bitro- phosphate
quickly produces a welcome transfor-
nation in the appearance; the increase
in weight frequently being astonishing,
This increase in weight also carries
with 1t a general improvement in the
health. Nervousness, sleeplessness and
lack OF energy, which nearly always
accompany excessive thinness, soon
disappear, dull eyes become bright, and
pale cheeks glow with the bloom of
perfect health.
CAUTION-Although bitro- phosphate
is unsurpassed for relieving nervous
ness, sleeplessness and general weak
ness, it should not, owing to its remark
able flesh-growing properties, be used
by anyone who does not desire to lat on
flesh. adv.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-02-27
SOUTH SHOULD USE
SOUTH'S PRODUCTS
Are Just as Good as and Often
Superior to Shipped In
Food and Feed.

Sterilization and home consumption
Of Southern farm products was the con-
dition urged at the regular monthly
meeting of the farm development
bureau of the Chamber of Commerce
late Wednesday afternoon.
The desired condition is to be brought
about, according to plans agreed upon
by the members of the bureau in dis
cussion with Fl. o. Pate, market director
OF, the bureau, through a campaign Of
education, which shall teach the pro-
ducers Of food and feedstuffs properly
to grade and pack their products for the
market, and the consumers of food
stuffs and feeders of stock the advan
tages Of using homegrown products
and the obligations of a sectional 10y
atty attached thereto,
Just as good and better butter, hay,
grain, potatoes and other food and
teedstuffs can be and is produced In the
Memphis trade territory as in the farm
ing sections OF the North and West
from which come the bulk of the food
products now being consumed in Mem
phis, the sense OF the meeting demon
strated.
1t was agreed that the prime obliga-
ton and necessity in connection with
the tri-state territory Is the profitable
marketing Of what the farmers pro-
duCe. This will always be considered
first, but Memphis buyers will be given
the option on all purchases, so as to
develop this city as the true market
and clearing house for the district. Only
when Memphis is unable to meet the
figures, which all things considered,
may be secured in distant markets, will
produce from the tri-state farms be
routed beyond Memphis.
The market bureau will issue a week
ly market sheet, which will be sent
throughout the territory, showing the
current prices and demands Of Memphis
market along with such markets as st.
Louis, Cincinnati and Chicago. In these
bulletins farmers will be urged to stand
ardize their products and be given ad-
vice on cooperative marketing.
Upon the suggestion OF A. l.. Parker.
member OF the farm bureau, a bulletin
board will be maintained at some CEN
trally located place, where all may see
II, lists OF demands and prices for the
information Of buying prospects and
sellers.
The market direction will shortly be-
gin excursions over the Memphis trade
territory for the purpose of organizing
cooperative marketing associations in
the communities where they are not
already organized and teaching stand
ardiZation of products as to grades and
packages,
The meeting was presided over by
Charles J. Haase, chairman of the farm
bureau.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-02-27
PRESIDENTS TALK
TO SOLONS FAILS
TO CHANGE THEM
Republicans Still Opposed to
World League After White
House Dinner Despite Will
sons Warning of Chaos.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 27.-Renewed
day in capitol cloakrooms and corridors
followed the White House dinner con-
ference last night, at which President
Wilson outlined the reasons upon which
he predicates his belief that the future
of the world rests upon such an Or
ganiZation.
Republicans opposed to the league
plan, however, apparently had not
changed their views and they will con-
tinue to voice their opposition in the
senate until congress adjourns next
Tuesday. There will be replies from
the Democratic side, Senator Hitch
cock, chairman of the foreign relations
committee, planning to speak briefly
late today. Senator Lodge, the Re-
publican floor leader, who will speak
tomorrow, had completed preparation
of his address and given confidential
copies to newspaper correspondents be-
fore last nights conference.
The discussion at the White House
was free and frank. The president told
the senators and representatives that
unless America Joined the league the
whole plan would fail and that utter
chaos would result in Europe. He point
ed out that half a dozen new nations
had come from the crucible of the
great war and said the stronger coun-
tries must combine to help and guide
them until they were able to stand
alone.
Success of the entire plan, the presi-
lent was quoted as saying, depended
| upon the friendship Of America, Great
| Britain, France, Italy and Japan and
| impotence of the league might result
| from the, withdrawal of any one OF
| them. Serious trouble between the five
| associated nations was said by the
president to be unthinkable and he
contended a league already existed
through reference OF grave world peace
| questions to commissions Of the five
great powers
C~onceding that membership in the
league carried with it the surrender
Of some sovereignty, the president told
his guests there could be no concert
of nations to safeguard against war
| unless each was willing to make some
concessions.
Senator Brandegee, Of Connecticut,
Republican, took the lead in question
ing the president. Senators Lodge and
Knox, of Pennsylvania, former secre-
tary of state. contented themselves
largely with listening to the discus
sion. No secrecy was imposed on the
visitors. the president at the outset
emphasizing that they were free to dis
cuss afterward what transpired.
Replying to specific questions, the
president was said to have declared
| America was free to withdraw from the
league at any time; that the Monroe
doctrine was not c~ontravened because
all ~signatory nations would be obli-
gated to uphold it, and that recon-
m~endations of the executive council for
world disarmament could not become
effective until each nation had APP
proved them and thus had been given
q voice in the apportionment Of such
| armament.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-02-27
SPEED UP
BUT MANY BILLS
APPEAR DOOMED
Appropriation Measures Have
Small Chances of Being
Passed, Leaders Think,
Despite Wilson's Appeal.

WASHINGTON Eoh % Au,auuh
marked nrorrcss IN dis,osinc ~ lor;sI
lation was ,nodn yostor5,y Nv corrToss
after announcement tho, prosiIort
Wilson ,yould mot r,u an oxtro snsston
until after his rot,,,n from Enrona "a
ministration laado,, ,,u1 aro ovtrornoI,
doubtful mat nil no nccnssory arnroy
p%riation hills can no anacted hefora ad-
iournmeut nnxt Tucsdov
There w.s corsjl,r,hlo .,r.o, o,,r
the Legislative situation a. en- ~,,,i,ol
a fter II be,amo Lnon,, ,h,. a., nro.I
dent was irsistorf thot on ro,nss,r,,
Legislation no aisrosod ~ o. ,his 49,.
sion. ON fine genato rnnr ard I, MI
vate conycrsatkrs Dounonrata ,nd b.
publicans charred oach othor NTH Va
sponsihiitv for doloy Il, ontioo an ~,
nortont o0"' " Nv va -"
presidant \VHaar ,os o,o,..
In tbo ,onttnI ''n, 80" 10 -
corfar ,,jth a,',.au"' W.. ~
60 WV" ''l'lo'i"tlo 'edue'S !" an
- "N'N"'"'e 'no WIN VI '""-
Ste9'' o|I " u'o'o"Ee" meeting Oh ms
"ft '"o''e' prevented re proo"
"prS WIN carry gu. 'nIS program To-Day
D'H'o''a't He""er MhrtIh yesterday
ulseu greater speed upon m
cnalrileh' ne asked democratic sen
ators 10 ueler prolonged speeches. and
requested senator owen or Oklahom
ana senator Hltchcock OF Nebraska to
abandon proposed speeches on the con-
stitution of the league Of nations. Sen
ator owen spoke late in the day.
In the speeding up yesterday the sen.
ate naval committee reported out the
1921 900, 900 naval appropriation bill with
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-02-27
Nav Shelve Plan.

II President Wilson fails to persuade
the American people to take up their
share of the burden of world %organiza-
ton then when Mr.. Wilson comes back,
he will find the league Of nations pro-
ject shelved, and bitter and disillu-
stoned Europe, thrown back upon the
old fashioned methods and old-fash-
toned ideas, compelled TO take precau-
tions against Germany which would be
unnecessary If America were a perma-
nent partner.
Our whole mission and our whole role
in Europe is now at a supreme crisis,
Europe, and particularly France and
England, have accepted our leadership
expressed by Mr.. Wilson, and have
formulated the projected league Of ma
tions, but they have done it purely and
simply on the assurance Of the presi-
dent of the United States that America
was prepared to share in the burdens,
responsibilities and guarantees Of such
a league of nations.
The French believe they have assur-
ance from the president in the matter
of military establishment of America.
The English at least have a profound
hope that their. cordial. consistent CO.
operation with Mr.. Wilson, without
which we could not have achieved his
covenant, will be r~ecompensed by
America, participating in manda-