The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1919-01-16

calculated to soothe sensitive souls.
Exactly at eight bells, Captain Prin'
gle and his consort rounded the
breakwater, put his helm hard down,
came into the wind, lost Roadway,
and dropped anchor in the roadstead
just three points off the starboard
quarter of the Arrow Head, which was
nautical maneuvre Of the most DIFF
ficult nature under existing weather
conditions, as there was a FAINT
breeze ruff1ing up the asphalt at the
time and the harbor was packed with
numerous other arriving craft, rang
ling in rig from everything from sky
sail Cadillac down to a Ford rig. We
ldigress bit to mention these details,
knowing that they will interest our
lreaders particularly in view of the
fact that Captain Pringle accompa-
lnied Peary on his last expedition in.
| to the polar zone where they discov'
cred the tribe Of white Nsquimaux To-
Gated in the Great Lakes country st
q place they named Cleveland, after
Grover, who was great personal
friend of the Captain.
Well, anyhow. the guests began to
drop IN. You know how it is. Guests
always do that. Presently the mann
moth ball room or salon (not saloon
for that is outof-date) Of the Ar
row Head was iam-packed and
stomped on with the distinguished
gathering. Those who could not find
chairs just squatted like in the good
old Leadville days, fearing that some
one would jump their claim If they
departed to record their titles accord
ling to law. The less fortunate later
arrivals sat on the ceiling.
When everyone was lined up and
looking uncomfortable, and all eyes
were turned towards the archway
from where the action of the evening
was supposed to emanate, our es
lteemed fellow citizen, Mr. George Sc
bring, arose, and, pressing forward
through the mighty concourse
climbed upon the revolving piano
stool and made an eloquent address
(Our regular court stenographer un
fortunately got her right hant
mashed in wash ringer while sht
was talking to friend, earlier in thu
day, so We regret that We can no
lgive Mr.. Sebring's remarks in full)
From reliable and admiring witness
however We managed to CLEAN thes'
sentences, which we take pleasure II
printing: "Now listen, We are me
here tonight to have a good time
and therefore / ask you not only t
enjoy yourselves but not to look a
liz you were waiting in the reception
room of a dentist to have your viii
dom teeth pulled out. Now listen, W
are all friends here together and it i
only by standing solidly loyal to tn
cause of Cheerfulness that we ca
hope to escape unframed from tn
ordeal that lies ahead; specifically
mean that we have with us a gentle
man from New York who is slate
presently to give us a selection Q
recitations. The gentleman's nam
, + is Van Zandt Wheeler, and thong
have not yet heard him speak, ar
informed on reliable authority, tina
1--we would be safer If gas masks ha
been issued along with the invita-
tons. Now listen, this is why / TAX
occasion to warn you in advance {
} laugh while you can, which is wha
several quail are doing at this M
ment, doubtless, out yonder in tn
gopher holes. Now listen, l refer t
the fact that / had Mr.. Wheeler wit
line hunting earlier in the day. H
made several remarkable shots BIZ
! we neglected to bring along the me-
Iessary trench digging implements, W
were unable to locate any of b
! kills" AS to further remarks l hay
nothing to say save that l think yo
will find the rest of the program ;
racket, recitals and vocal and instr
mental music highly to your taste"
Mr.. Sebring concluded his remarl
\ BY falling off the piano stool i
to the mighty arms of Geo. w. Gag
Esq, who was completely crushe
with the honor, and the real busine,
! of the evening got under Roadway.
1 The first number was a light sele
!. tion of popular melodies played