The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-10-30
ls q = 2
is;iUlNBIEAMg..

r. - lAi
|tNY MI has made its, APP
n n ~ ~ pearancc, due pos
n sibly 70 the. high
h - cost Of clothing
N only men are SUBJ
ject (wosae are imnune}. Gas.
we'll as many others) am afflicted.
This latest malady is "patina." 4
don't think the medical profession
was also sufferin' from it. 1t is not
fatal and the remedy is very simple
provided you have the price. Pa
tina" is said (by an expert IN such
matters) to be the polish or shiny eff
feet that makes its appearance on the
back and elbows Of your coat, anl
on the front Gas well as the back)
part Of your trousers and is produced
by havin' worn said garments too
many seasons Cor words to that eff
fect). I don't know whether it is
contagious or merely infectious, but
It is plentiful and seems to be spread
in. The remedy is new suit of
clothes, but at the present prices it
kinda looks to me as though the dis
case will wear itself out along with
the clothes. However, if you are a
sufferer from Patina you may deduce
some small comfort from the fact
that Patina is bound to be a very
popular disease for some time to
come.
Some women get divorce and ali
mony and some of em get divorce
and darned nigh all the money.
Some one asked me if | had ever
seen Constance Talmadge in "A pair
| of silk stockings" | replied that l
had not, nor III any other kind of sox
either.
Many times man OF mediocre at
tainments has been chosen chair
man of the town meetin' simply be-
cause he was owner of the only long
tailed coat and silk plug hat in the
village. l amt sayin' that clothes
makes a man., not none whatever.
But have noticed that good buds
will often carry an "addle pate"
farther than old clothes will take a
chap with dome filled with gray
| matter.
Asked what is the difference be-
tween a woman's face and her |
clothes replied, womans face is
her fortune, but her clothes are her
husbands misfortune.
All frfeff esonrc more than UrhersJ t
exhibit strong characteristics of the
monkey. Recently | read that some
savant had advanced the idea that
long time ago man was fish and
by golly do you know kinda think
so myself. Frequently we hear OF
some fellow havin' been played for
"sucker"-some times a whole town
full OF people-as for instance, Carni-
val week.
l remarked to friend that !
thought that there were too many
preachers, doctors and lawyers. That
the world would be better without
en- He was Mortified, Cor so it
seemed). "How do. you figger the
world would be benefited" said he.
WELL" says I, take the preacher, if
there want so many of him to pray
for folks more of said folks would
learn to do their own supplicatin'
Then if there want so many pill
peddlers more people would die
naturally and if there want so many -,
lawyers" Perhaps it is just as we'll | ,
that he didn't wait to hear the rest
vi ~ - AAV was q io"ySAJ
A chicken q mean the feathered q
kind) are supposed to be plumb G
foolish, absolutely senseless. rise
to remark that this is all mistake. :
Chickens do have sense and a high Z
order of intelligence. am feedin 0
quite bunch of we'll bred, ladylike 1
pullets some high priced feed, and |
have been expectin' results Tor rath- |
er aigs) but until recently have met F
only disappointment. ! decided on
this plan and it will prove my con-
tention that chickens (the kind above
do at times show intelli-
renee, painted sign like this
Every pullet in this flock who has
1ot produced at least one 'aig' on. or
before Nov. Ist, shall be shot, {
cooked and eaten" and nailed it up
where they could see it. Did ] get,
'esults? Better than that. I got an
zig next day. To date they have all fl
/ mean the pullets) demonstrated "
hat they can qualify except one. She a.
cts kinda Indifferent and independ- Ell
mt. Sorter as if she'd as soon be "
hot as to be compelled to perform m
mil she wants to. Possibly some tv
f you won't believe this, but it won't b,
ost you anything to try it. p. ST. C.
DON'T be selfish. Tell your neigh e,
ors about this. G
An optimist is the fellow who be- oil