Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-04-23
FanHas Great Time
When Season Opens
Gets Fired, Cheers WiLdly
and Catches Foul
on Beam.
ny ARTHUR tBUGs) nEAR.

uere Is the way the dyed-in-
spends the night at the corner glue
tarior bending. the merry elbow With
ne BOYS boys and buIzing about the good
CID days when batters were out on
the second bounce and NumDires out
on the third.
Gets sentimental and cries when he
high silk hats in center fields and
ES ,ang hot liners and free lunch bare
Flat-whecls home and wife fans him
with three. pitched fiat irons. Sets
alarm clock for o'clock and prays
a IL wont rain. Then sits up ali night
JLokes his skull out Of window at G
O'clock and il isn't raining. He takes
NE circuit Tor the beautiful weather.
o adspaiGs t on crane fruit removes It's
4 set of soft boiled eggs and cscapes
from house before the wife wakes up.
Sir Fan Gets Fired.
Goes down TO the corner mucilaEc
garage and bartender helps him to look
at the sky. They decide that ii won't
rain. blizzard or earthquake and they
chat about the old timers who Thought
, nnotminE Of pitching 4 double header,
runs, thought nothing of the umpires.
III TACT never thought anything
they look at the sky through diff
l 1Srent kinds Of glasses until noon.
Then the bartender gives the fans
loss a rumble on the phone. lie tells
pos, noss ihat this is the fans wife and
the davenport. and that he will be un-
aDIe TO work today. Bartender hasn't
rreneaLsed Mrs; Fans voice. enough as
me soprano notes. lie tells bartender
to hang up and he will call back. Boss
sn and c PACK f ana discovers it is saloon
takes price OF return call out Of his
wages.
Two Hours 10 Spnre.
ran figures that being fired is had
DI.iiilIrds put it might have been worse
T. ~ might have rained. lie starts walk
N. IN. money TO buy automobiles. Figures
,heX must be war contractors. Stands
~, m, Inc at ball park and only gets in
TWO hours before the game starts,
which is an awful narrow margin.
cheers the first guy out on the field
ana discovers that he is cheering the
Looks at tho sky and sun is shining
i CO l,k SO he offers TO sell his rain check
,tomc team nutters out and he hollers
himself silly. Which is easy. Settles
M MN back in his seat and talks
the European situation. GETS so en-
cited about the European situation that
ho lorgsds ne hasn't got one himself.
Mayor throws out the first bali and
IAN laughs himself dizzy. lie doesn't
know what it's all about, but every
body laughs when a Mayor throws
baseball UmDire boots Mayors throw.
and fam gives him the grand buzZcr.
Gets in an argument with guy in next
Paris. and tells next seat guy thai
the German signature on the peace
treaty will only be another German
signature on another scrap OF paper.
Fan has his back TO the diamond. but
he boots with everybody else when
umpire calls a strike a strike
h, ~
tons, and tells next scat guy that
America can defeat the world at any
thing from war 10 measlcs Foul bali
pops into Grandstand, and fan tries to
which leaves him with four good ones
for the rest OF his life. Next seat guy
gets the foul and sticks it in his |
n"cket' where il is still a foul. Cop
back. but fan helps TO boot him away |
cop LOOKS shecpiSh and escapes. Visit |
M team makes seven runs. and fan
chanses MS IDEAS and prays for rain. |
Shnrcs Shells with All.
Buys soft drink from soda hoy, and |
wonders what he will do after July. |
stretches in lucky seventh with The
rest of the bugs.
Erd9 1mf s sSn% oaeT So and o he
friend bartender, and tells him ali |
about it. Spends the rest of the even
ing trying to dope an alibi for the |
. :. Goes home at midnight with his boots
Tor their feet when they are always |
carrying EN- in their hands
Kicks umbrella stand with nimble |
toe and racket wakes up wife. who
Is not only prepared for the worst. |
put has also prepared it She fouls a
Opening day winds UP with the home |
team and home fan both in the second