The Washington herald., 1919-03-31
THE SECRET OF OLD AGE.
By DOROTHY DIX
The Worlds Highest Paid
Woman Writer.

smoke nor drink, but because he has
never argued.
Eureka! II is discovered at last.
The secret of longevity is never to
argue This scientific fact will amaze
the world. for we have all been com.
mitted TO exactly the opposite the
ory. We have thought that IL was
the disputatious who never died I,
seemed to us that they lived on for
ever, although, at any time, we could
have spared them without a murmur
and registered, as movie fans say
perfect resignation TO the dispense.
tons Of Providence at their funerals.
Anyway. here's hats of TO the Mis-,
souri centenarian who through a long
life time has abstained from the vice
OF arguing. How his wife must have
dotted on him, How his children mus
have adored him! How his brothers
and sisters must have cherished
him! What a boy he must have
! been as a friend and companion!
1t makes one green with envy ever
to hear about him for, alas, he was q
man whose like most of US have never
looked upon. For the individual iyhc
Is content with his own view OF
things. and liberal enough to gram
you the privilege of holding your owl
opinions in peace and comfort, with,
out having to fight for them tooth anc
nail, is the rara avis of humanity.
we have thought there amt no sicf
a animal until this white BLACK bird
showed up to prove that miracles
still happen.
why people argue has always
oeen one of the Dundreary things
( that no feller can find out. Nobody
is ever convinced in an argument
No amount of augmentation ever
changes ones views a whit. All
: that an argument does is to rasu
tempers and rouse bitterness and
antagonism, and estrange the dis
putants
! No one gets on our nerves as do
those afflicted with the arguing
habit. There is no one who is sc
little cOngenial as the one who in
variably takes the opposite point OF
view from ours. There is no brute
no bully. no prude, no virago, with
whom it is such an anliction TO have
! to live as II is with a man or woman
/ who must argue with you over
everything you do or say. or leave
undone or unsaid.
Everybody knows this. Everybody
mates the arguer. and yet in spite
: or all this arguing continues to bt
the faVorite indoor sport in the ma
/ Jority of families. Which explain.
why home life is no more popula
than 1t is.
/ All of us know households In
which to make the simplest, mos
innocent, most innocuous statement,
Is like throwing a piece of meat e
n pack of starving dogs. They
spring on it with yelps of Joy, anC
worry over it, tear it shred from
shred. fight and growI over IT unit
finally having dissected the origina
subject, they turn aGd devour each
other.
For arguers never stick to tn,
original topic OF debate. They car
( begin with why Germany went e
war" and end up with Maria's MOI
sweeping under the bed. and invelgl,
Ing James into marrying her BY
wearing false hair. or whatever
, other personal insult they know
Will hit Maria in the weakest spot
And it leaves Maria still with heI
, opinion of why Germany went L
= war, and with one more notch scored
in her reasons why she hates tn,
arguer.
Also we all know households IL
which it is impossible to do tn,
slightest thing without having al
argument over it You cannot buy
tube of tooth paste without fathel
wanting to know what has becom,
Of that last tube of tooth paste yoI
bought and arguing that tooth past,
Is new tangled, useless eXtravaE.
anCe because nobody used tootl
paste when he was a boy. AND
mother arguing with you abou
where you are going to buy it
and telling you of a place she ha.
read about that is only ten mile,
of, but where you can get tootI
paste cent a tube cheaper Anc
sister Sally disputing with yol
about using tooth paste instead o.
tooth powder. and Aunt Jane argu.
ing with you about the kind o.
tooth paste you use and so on anc
) on, ad infinitum.
When it comes to breaking vi
homes the argument puts Demor
Rum and Infidelity into the pike
! class. More divorces are granted
on the ground OF Incompatible,
of temper than for all other cause!
combined. This simply means tha
disputation is death to love. anC
that men and women can stand an,
other fault, foible. weakness, or vic,
in the one to whom they are united
easier than they can perpetua
augmentation.
! woman may be a poor cook anC
a bad manager, get fat and lose he
complexion, but her husband will
cherish her as the apple of his eye i
she will refrain from disputin,
everything he says. and lends al
approving air to his opinions. AnC
Il a woman will never find out sh,
has not gotten a real affinity anC
soul mate in a little sawed-off. bald
headed man, who forces her to tax,
in bOarders to support him, so Ions
as he listens respectfully to he
views on politics. and lets her be
lieve in any kind OF religion sh,
fanCies. Nor is there any home
however. poor and humble, that Il
not a happy one SO long as there il
no arguing in it. For the bird o
peace perches on its roof pole.
For the sake Of the happiness o
others. and our own good. let Vi
avoid augmentation and follow tn,
example of the Missouri patriarch
It may not really prolong our owl
lives. but it will prolong the live
of those about us. and enhance thei
happiness, and cause them to aris,
and bless our name.
Copyright. 1919. BY The Wheele'
Syndicate. InC.l
Dorothy DiX's articles appear reg
Il 81 in tlf.
Wedne sday and Friday.