The Belding banner-news. (Belding, Mich.) 1918-1973, 1919-01-01

BY his Motto. We shall know the
Scissors-Bill Here II Is: What was
Good Enough for my father Is Good
Enough for me-" He thinks that Is
Good Reason for blocking all Progress,
i've Moves, but what the Boosters
think Of him wouldn't look At All Well
In Print.
We have q small head in our town,
but it is wondrous wise, it's skull is
like any other mans and looks about
the size, and you can never tell; this
skull contains, oh, listen, just ta-
blespoon of jell. 1t shrinks up in
the dry, warm weather, and swells
up when it rains; this slight variation
fools the owner, he thinks that it's
his brains. So when the air is crisp
and dry he's silent and seems quite
smart, but when the weather dampens
up, he opens up his heart. Advice>he
gives the president on how tc, make
things go, he could have licked the
Germans year or two ago. He
knows about the aeroplanes, he knows
about the guns, he knows about the
trickery Of the malicious Huns. Pro-
blems economic to him are but A B G
and industrial perplexities left to him
would quickly flee. But his mar
velous erudition, he can't turn into
cash, and it keeps. his wife a humping
to get the daily hash. Pay the in
terest on the mortgage, keep the coal
bin fairly full, feed and sleep the dec
Grafton with the jelly in his skull. All
no, he is not lazy, an, no, he never
shirks; the thin spots on his panties,
tell how hard he daily works.-F. M.
H. in the Sparta Sentinel-Leader.
The boys, as they return from the
camps now and then tell pretty good
story en- one another. The following
one on "Artie" Richardson may or
may not be true. Art, along with a
lot of other raw recruits. was being
drilled by young sergeant, who after
working the rockies 4 for about three
hours, thought. they seemed to be get
ting some class and he decided to test
them. Right turn" he cried and
before the men had ceased to move he
yelled out another order, Left turn.
Artie at this juncturee left the ranks
and started off towards the barracks.
"Here, you," yelled the sergeant.
"Whereinblazes are you going 2" I've
had enough of YOU" replied Artie and
then he continued, "You don't know
your own mind fer half minute run
ming"
Over on Pearl street there lives a
little lad of four years, who bad been
told that babies came down direct
from heaven via the s,orx route and
it has puzzled his little brain as to
why he could net recall his former
heavenly surroundings. Two weeks
ago, baby brother was born to him
and after a time he was admitted to
the room where his new relative lay.
He tip-toed over to the cradle, pulled
the covers back and gazed down at
the pink, wrinkled up mite of human
ity lying there. The new found light
of a brothers love shone in his face,
and then he whispered, "Buddo, tell
me all about Gcd fore you forget,
too" 81
We wonder how the poor fish over
on the north side liked his bed last
Sunday night, when his wife chased
him down cellar and made him sleep
in the coal bin? We were just ask
her that we'd like to have got hooked
up W q udlliC tfhC ciiab 90 we NJ oiih~~A
up the coal stove and shook down
the ashes, telling her at the time
what we'd do, when she laid down her
paper, froze us with one look over
the rims of her glasses and told us to
forget it or we might try the coal
bed in the cellar ourselves. Just
the same, we'd like to know how the
poor fish liked it, even if we did keep
still.
While we were down at Dennis
studio having our picture taken, at
the command of our mother, we were
somewhat consoled by the following
conversation which took place in the
front when a man and woman came in.
Here's the man who wants his pic
ture TAKEN" said lady's voice, fol-
lowed by the mans. "No, here's the
man whose wife wants his picture Ia
KEN" N
One Of our former friends from out
Parnell way came into the Office the
other day and said that we had some |
speedy merchants in this town, one
Of whom was living ahead Of time
and showed us a check which he had |
received from the so-called merchant,
which was dated week ahead.
Friends of Lloyd (''Fat") Under
wood just visited this Office and got |
out some posters on which they offer |
ed reward Of 500, for information |
that would lead to disclosing Of his |
This is no dead or |
alive" reward, but from the fact that |
the genial bachelor groceryman left
LEFT under the ssms c;rcumstsncs. the
said friends would like advance infor-
nation % to when Lloyd - coping |