El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-15
Gridiron Club Dinner Is RepLete
With Humorous SIaps On Topics
OfDaYMcAdooA And Hines Get Theirs

I WASHINGTON. D. c.. Dee 15.-The
w Gridiron club had its little eve
ming Of fun with public men and
| things at its opening winter dinner
Saturday night
Headed by vice president Marshall.
! cabinet members, ambassadors and
ministers Of the diplomatic corps, and
members Of congress. a large guest
hist included scores Of men well
known In public and private life
Nothing was spared from the tradi-
tionaI gridiron. The railroad prob
lem. prohibition, the labor situation.
woman suffrage. reform and other
I topics IN the public eye came in for
their share Of good humored treat
Members Of the club. principally
Washington correspondents, took the
parts Of the actors in the skits which
did the "gridironing" on these sub
jects-
AS the capital, like the remainder
OF the country now has dry ban
quets." or at least IS supposed to, il
seemed appropriate that one OF the
skits should be on "Moonshine-"
A company Of mOonshiners prepar-
ing some Drew Va a4emu
some OF the dialog Included the fol-
lowing labs"
speaking OF books on the subject,
see BY the papers that the pronlnl-
ton enforcement agents railed the
office OF the Saturday Evening Post
and confiscated six .intsalmenta OF
Henry WattersOn's memoirs.
Has II got any kick IN itf'
Kick, well you ought to see the
way 81 keeled over Morris Sheppard
and Yves Jones the other day.
"I suppose you read that Josephus
Daniels thinks he has presidential
That's moonshine Off a green
The Scrambled Railroads.
The railroad skit dealt with "un-
scrambling the railroads. The ac-
tors represented former director gen
eral BicAdoo. director general Hines
and an investor
McAdoo-~The late Mr.. Morgan said
that you cannot unscramole scram-
hled eggs. He was wrong. BY the eN-
ercise OF a little magic to which We
modestly lay claim, We shall Illus
trate how the railroads Of the United
states NAV be scrambled and then IN
the tWinkling OF an eye, as 10 we're,
and so 10 speak, unscrambled again
can anyone loan me a silk hat2
shall return Vt promptly and entirely
unchanged.
(Afan steps forward with silk hat
He is Mr. Investor. a Weh known
McAdoo--Tut. tut-havs no fear
we shall not hurt IL in the slightest
I shall break this egg into the hat
sol breaks and drops egg and shell
into the hat)-
Vow we take some flour-add some
coal-pour in some Of this agreeable
variety Of ketcnup-add a little sand
and finish with a dash OF vinegar
Please don't grOan. Mr. Investor II
is all right All these ingredients are
symbolic. gentlemen Now We have
the roads scrambled. This completes
ry part Of the trisk ] snail now
pass the buck-I mean the hat 20
my friend, Mr.. Hines. no VIII re-
tu1n the hat unchanged 20 my guod
f-iend. Mr.. Investor
Hines Qooks at hat and glares al
McAdool-'T am deeply indebted 20
oence. I wish be lad fnisi &c the
trick.
Now we have It. aacus- pocus-
i92O-prestO." (takes up handker-
chief, looks-starts back. PUSHES 10
McAdOo, sayinE).
Hines-'.8iy God Mac. can't do the
McAdOo-"Tbats yJdr affair-not
mine"
Investor-'My hat-my hatr
McAdoo-"Give him back his hat"
Hines-"But this mess-what viii
MeAdOo--oh. hand it back. He
can't kick"
Hines-'Here you are. sir" Hands .
hat to Investor, who takes II and l
yells;