Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1919-05-14
THE 4INsTITUTE, ONCE MORE.

THE Constitute" ONCE MORE
In recent issue of The Democra
we reluctantly referred to the melan
cholly collapse of the once famou!
enterprise known as the Mancheste!
Institute of Auto Engineering, presid'
ed over by the editor of the Press
Having performed this sad duty to the
best of our ability, we trusted that
there would be no occasion for har-
rowing the feelings of our readers with
further illusions to SO painful sub
ject.
In this we have been deeply disap-
pointed. In the last issue Of his al
legged newspaper, our contemporary
charges us with being prompted by the
basest of human passions in writing
the aforesaid article, such as envy OF
the shining height of reputation to
which he claims to have attained. and
thievish propensity for possessing
ourselves of the Institute funds-for
the existence of which, by the way, we
have no other evidence than his own
unsupported assertion. If Mr.. Ram
had been content with flinging these
allegations at us, we would have tax
en- refuge within the noble precincts
Of a stately silence; for in the face of
a purely personal attack, we are stoo
proud to fight" But when he proceed
ed to make most inexcusable assault
upon the invulnerable reputation as
an auto expert of Mr.. c. B. Baumgart-
ner, whose name we had the honor to
propose as future head of the Insti-
tue, and that by sheer distortion of
plain and well-know facts, our sense
of loyalty to our friend would not per-
nit us to luxuriate in the aforesaid
noble precincts any longer.
In what we said two weeks ago we
had no tthe slightest intention of
growing over one who was down The
sole object of our article was to praise
our Caesar, not to bury him, oil the
more since the latter operation had all
ready been so satisfactorily achieved
by his own unaided efforts. We know
that not one of our readers can have
failed to notice that the article in ques-
ton was fairly saturated with sympa-
thy for the misfortune of our fallen
paragon. That he should so deliber-
ately misinterpret our most generous
sentiments, is something of which we
feel the hurt but to which, in the ma
ture Of things, we can make no reply.
{c IN
ticle, carried away by the flood tide
of our sympathy, we exaggerated the
achievements of Mr.. Ram to such an
extent that we almost feel like apol-.
ogizing to our readers. Happily, he
himself furnishes the corrective. He
shows, without intending to do so, Of
course, that his Institute has been a
flat and dismal failure from the be-
ginning. SO far as imparting instruc-
ton is concerned; for he mentions pu-
pill after pupil who, after wasting
months of time upon the curriculum
and paying an exorbitant tuition for
the privilege, has gone out to demon
strate his utter incapacity even to
clean a car, much less to run it.
= Here, on Mr.. Rams own testimony, |
are few brilliant specimens Of the
material the Institute has been turn
ing out. "A. d. Brown drives as far as |
the Mt. Hope school house. Owing to |
deep ruts, his car follows the road for
that distance. Suddenly he turns it
into ditch with one foot of water and
three feet of soft mud in it, evidently
on the superstition that he is operating
a hydroplane instead of an automobile.
The next day, after a gang OF men
with ropes, derricks and traction en-
gins have succeeded in extricating the
car and getting it back to town, he
runs it under full head of steam in
to Halls bread wagon, this time on
the assumption that he is working a
British tank, and that the innocent
bread wagon is a Hun fertilization OF
some sort-a most insiduous SANDER,
by the way, on the worthy bakers
who is such staunch
patriot that he never whistles anything
but Yankee Doodle Yet this same
Brown has been for months the star
pupil of the Institute.
w. B. Hawkes., another of his most
promising students, has his nervous
system completely shattered by Rams
famous "short course!s' that he dares
not drive his car at more than three
miles an hour; in consequence OF
which it breaks through the crust on
one of our best-paved-roads and sinks
out of sight Mrs. F. ]. keiser, vale
dictorian of her class, has never been
taught that motor requires certain
of gasoline for it's successful
operation, and as result she is igno-
miniously stranded on Main street.
These are but few of the many hui
failures that might be men
toned, all going to show that the
graduates of this institution have not
even mastered the most elementary
principles of auto management All
that Mr.. Ram has done is to take their
tuition, give them the horse laugh
when they get into trouble, and Shit
as much of the blame as possible on