davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
A WEATHER OPTIMIST

rrY e read that John Hartman, of
wv York county, has dug his
garden and is about to plant
corn and potatoes.
Our advice in this case, If we were
asked for it, would be to paraphrase
that of Quay to Beaver, and say:
Dear John-don't."
Two swallows do not make a sum-
mer. Neither does a mild winter al
ways presage an early spring. Our
old friend, the weather wise Grant
Forrer. is authority for the informa-
ton that all signs in Wildwood Park
indicate an extremely open Febru-
ary, but even such a warm weather
optimist as he has not as yet begun
to think of spring planting.
The first robin nearly always gets
stuck in a snowstorm, the man who
takes off his winter underclothing
too soon catches the "fiu," but the
man who plants corn and potatoes in
February Is daring beyond endur-
ance the providence that regulates
the billiards.. In the technical lam
guage of the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture, his crop pros
poets are about one-half of one per
cent.-minus
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Day of the Motor Truck

When the pink primordial pride and
joy
OF our nntediiuvian hoi polloi
Had ichthyosaurian steak to tote
He dragged 1t along on an old stone
boat;
Or when his congenial mate and he
Would lug their luggage along the
orr down to q gloomy and glacial
shore,
They found their burden consider
able chore.
oh, tough was their lot and sad
their luck,
For they had no Gazimpikus motor
truck.
When Hannibal scampered across an
Alp
The rollicking Romans hollered
'halp!"
For they had been told that it
couldn't be done
And Hannibal fooled them, the SON.
of-a-gun!
Some stunt for those Carthaginian
geeks
Was peregrinating across the peaks
For all OF their baggage rode all the
way
Upon their cervical vertebrae
And into the ruck poor Carthage
snuck
For she had no Galumpicai motor
truck.
And tres unfortunate, too, the fate
or Alexander, the so-called great,
OF Kid Vespasian, Brian Boru,
Napoleon Bone and Stonewall, too.
Copernicus, Newton and Peter and
Paul,
Solomon, Satan, Salome and Saul.
They limped along in their feeble
way
Without the aid of the benEine shay.
While you and 1 have superlative
luck
We have the Gazootical motor truck.
Then hail to the cam and the cog
and wheel,
The brass and copper. the wood and
steel!
And hail the dominant speed and
style,
And super service of gas and lie!
No more need the proletariat pine
That the load must lean on the sag
ging spine.
For now it can lope DER the 1oamy
lea
On a Rackard, Fierce, or a Moon
stone T;
Gosh Almighty. we're all in luck;
We have the> Gazzamikus motor
truck.
j. p. McEvoy in the Chicago
Tribune.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Cited in a Private's Dispatch

rock ballast, steel clamped, perfect
ly graded-and every ounce of that
metal was dug out of American hills,
smelted, forged, rolled, and beaten
by Americans, and laid down in this
strange, far-off land to wage free
dom's war and to comfort him on his
bitter journey away from the roar
ing guns.
Beneath and around his tortured
body he sensed the incarnated soul
of America in unbending rails be-
meath the mighty engine and the
swiftly, smoothly flying car. He
knew that he was being conveyed
by ponderous drive wheels which
dwarfed every locomotive in that
foreign land of wars.
The soldiers sufferings lessened.
He thrilled. :As he explained it
something got hold of me-" The
vision, the daring, the epic labor
that conquered the wilderness,
swept through the prairies. climbed
the mountains, and lined with steel
the sunrise of the Atlantic with the
sunset of the Pacific-that sonie-
thing had got hold of him. And
that something has got hold of the
world.-An American soldiers ex-
perience, as reported in the Man
chester (England) Union.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
FOREST POLITICS

VERY clear thinking resident
n, of Pennsylvania is a conserva-
ZIONIST and will hail any legis-
lation tending to increase the acer-
age of the States forest reserves
and provide adequate men to handle
them. The time is coming when the
Keystone State will find its woods
a very important revenue raiser for
educational purposes. 2 for instance.
and when the people by means of
automobile facilities will get much
pleasure from them for camping.
picnics and recreation. This State
has made a most commendabIe
start and bills are in hapT to ad-
vance the cause not only CT forestry.
but of water supply and general
conservation.
But it would be unfortunate IL
these valuable activities in behalf
of saving resources should be tied
to any individuals coat tail and
made to serve political ends. The
general scheme for conservation is
excellent and we are for it, but we
do not want it to be any one man
affair foresty and politics should
not mix
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
GENERAL SNYDER'S PLAN
UDITOR GENERAL, CHARLES

A UDITOR GENERAL CHARLES
~ A. SNYDER'S plan to in
crease the pay of teachers in
proportion to the salaries they now
receive is practical, meets the
needs of the case and doubtless will
have the approval of the public.
The teachers have proposed a lump
advance of twenty-five per cent. Mr..
Snyder feels that the poorly-paid
rural teachers should receive an in
crease of larger percentage than the
more generously, paid city instructor.
and he Is right. The money avail
able ought to be so divided as to
give the most benefit to the largest
number. The State is going to ap-
propriate these millions primarily
for the benefit and improvement of
the school system, and to do that
most effectively it must make the
schoolhouse of the tiny rural COM
munity attractive to teachers of
ability.
The pay of country teachers is
pitifully small. It will remain small
by comparison If a general increase
of twenty-five per cent. regardless of
present rate OF pay. should be
granted.
Governor Sproul threw out this
idea in his inaugural address and
General Snyder has enlarged upon
it and amplified it in an extremely
helpful and practical way.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
WELL KNOWN PEOPLE

The Rev. ]. ]. Curran. the
Wilkes Barre priest, who was a
close friend of Roosevelt, will make
several addresses about him this
month.
Judge Albert w. johnson, of
Lewisburg. will be one of the speak
ers at the Washington's birthday
exercises in Philadelphia
General John w. Heavey, chief
of militia affairs at the War De-
partment and well-known here, has
returned to his work as colonel
in the regular army.
william Jennings Bryan Is to
be a speaker in Philadelphia this
week.
DIR. j. p. Kerr, Pittsburgh counp
Gilman and major in the medical
corps, is being highly praised iA
letters home for his work in the
hospitals.
-E. C. Higbee, Uniontown law
yer, has started a battle with. the
Thompson estate creditors commit
tee over the delays in the litigation
The Rev. w. e. McCulloch.
Pittsburgh minister, is home from
France where he did war work. and
is making a series of addresses fl
Allegheny county.
-Congressman s. D. Fess. men
toned for speaker, has been 4
teachers institute lecturer In all
most every county in Pennsylvahis.
u. T. Cortelyon, the Phiiadek
phia district postal inspector whs
has Just resigned has been in til
service twenty years and halls ErAsA
Brooklyn.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1919
A FREE SERVICE BASIS

FIGURES published by the State
H' Board of Public Charities show
- ing the free service rendered by
hospitals of the State in definite
statements of dollars and cents
should prove both illuminative and
instructive. They will serve to en-
tighten the public as to what free
service is being given in return for
money from the treasury of the Com
monwealth, and also to demonstrate
to the people running such institu-
tons where they must improve. 1t
is the first time that the Board has
published such figures, and it was in
response to a request from Pennsyl-
vauia's business Governor that its
agents assembled the data.
The fact is that the time has come
when the State should not be asked
to give a cent except in return for
free service, not partially free. but
wholly free. Neither should institu-
tions not under State control come
around year after year with requests
for buildings and Improvements
when the policy announced is against
such grants. The communities
wherein the hospitals are located and
whom they serve should support the
hospitals. The idea of State aid, ex-
cept in return for very definite free
service, is all wrong. This does not
apply to any one institution; it af-
fects hundred.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
The Mental Alarm Clock
IFrom the Boston Globel

LFrom the Boston Globe1
We have in our brains a little
alarm clock. Just as we often set
that mental alarm clock to wake us
at a certain hour, it can be set to
remind us to do or not to do certain
acts next day. Before going to sleep
one says to the alarm clock, IF
anything happens to make me lose
my temper tomorrow, want you
to remind me to hang on to it." The
thing happens. The temper is all
ready to lose when the little alarm
clock of ones subconscious mind
rings up on an inside telephone and
says. "By the way, you asked me
to remind you to keep your tenn
per-" and the odd part of it is that
you reply, $50 did. Thanks" After
that a person would look silly
going back to his rage. There is
nothing to do but cool down.
A little practice with this interior
alarm clock works wonders. 1t
acts like silent touch on the sleeve
from a wise old friend in a moment
of rashness. Go slow, go slow.
Steady" And one goes slow.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
BOOKS AND MAGAZINES

The sad and untimely death OF
Colonel Roosevelt has brought out
many interesting anecdotes of his
career and character. But perhaps
there is none more amusing and
revelatory of his personality than
the one told by Charles G. WASH
burn in his Theodore Roosevelt
the Logic of His Career" Mr..
Washburn writes:
He had, / think, more genuine
sympathy with more classes of peo-
pie than any man ever in public, life
in this country. I can best illustrate
what 1 mean by two stories, both of
which l heard him tell.
1t seems that when he was hunt
ing in Colorado several years ago, he
met q cowboy who had been with
him with the Rough Riders in Cuba.
The man came up to speak to
Roosevelt, and said, ''Mr. President,
1 have been in Jail year for killing
a gentleman"
How did you do it?" asked the
President. meaning to inquire the
circumstances.
"Thirty-eight on fsrty-five
Frame" replied the man, thinking
that the only interest the President
had was that of comrade who
wanted to know with what kind of
a tool the trick was done. Now, 1
will venture to say that to no other
President, from Washington down
to and including Wilson, would the
man-killer have made that response.
Another old comrade, sure of his
sympathy, wrote from q Jail in
Arizona:
Dear Colonel: am in trouble.
shot a lady in the eye, but 1 did
not intend to hit the lady; 1 was
shooting at my wife,"
Dear Charley: OF the various
books written of me this is the one
1 hope my grandchildren will accept
as giving the real motive and pur-
pose of my career. You are over
partial to me, old friend; but you
have sketched the ideal to which,
with many, many failings and short
comings on my part, 1 have yet
tried to be true, I am very proud OF
what you say in this book, and very
thankful to you for having written
it. Faithfully yours, Theodore Roose-
velt."
Theodore, Roosevelt: The Logic
Of His Career% by Charles G. Wash
burn. (HoughNpn Mifiiin Company
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

TT e had been shot to pieces
Broken-bodied, he was un-
conscious when his journey
towards the base hospital began. He
was lifted and dropped, shaken by
the inevitable difficulties of the be-
ginning of the b1esse's progress
homeward.
Finally, awakened to conscious
ness, he felt himself raised into a
railway coach. The train started.
Again the wounded boy was tossed
by the stiff springs of the little
coach, as 1t ratified over the lightly
built roadbed, jerked forward and
backward by the hesitant progress
of the under-sized locomotive on
ahead. 1t was foreign train on
foreign roadbed.
Then one night there was a
change. The wounded young
American was put into another
coach-a larger, heavier one. 1t
started. He felt beneath him the
solidity of rock, the smooth rolling
of wheels not to be mistaken; the
steady and powerful pull of the To-
comotive. At last-an American
train on American roadbed.
Now was he comforted by heavy
steel rails, stoutly timbered roadbed,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
ROOSEVELT MEMORIAL

They closed the eyes and laid away
to sleep
In natures bosom but the flesh
he wore,
Dust unto dust; for while the angels
keep
Celestial records, he lives ever
more.
Lives, moves and has his being in
the hearts
OF all who knew and cherished
him before!
Star-high, sea-low, the fame of him
shall spread
From Orient to the coast of set
ting sun.
How dare ye say a man like. this is
dead?
Tho pulse be stilled, his work has
but begun!
Thru history making epochs shall
he lead
With unseen hand until sweet
rest be won!
And little children standing at our
knee
With wondering eyes shall ask
concerning him.
A prince of men. who faced Eter-
nifty
Unfiinching, as he faced wars
scarlet sin;
unmoved. as thru the tides of
calumny
He fought his way to Justify
and win!
Bend low the knee for Roosevelt
rides by
In chariot of fire and clothed in
light
Transcending all the glories of the
earth,
Illumining the biackness of our
night.
God made him, sent him, saved him.
He Is oursi
Friend. counsellor, apostle of the
right.
ANNA HAMILTON WOOD.
Written For the Telegraph.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
DREAMS

If come to speak of dreams con-
cerning the dead, it must be with
tenderness and awe that all who have
had them will share with me. Moth
ing is more remarkable in them than
the fact that the dead, though they
are dead, yet live, and are. to our
commerce with them, quite like all
other living persons. We may recog-
nize, and they may recognize. that
they are no longer in the body, but
they are verify living as we are.
This may be merely an effect from
the doctrine of Immortality, which
we all hold or have held, and yet
would fain believe that 1t may be
something like proof of it. Some
times those who have died come back
in dreams as parts of common life,
which seems never to have been
broken. The old circle is restored
without a flaw.--W. d. Howclls.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

(Ap0logteS to oliver wendell HomeS)
"ONE-HOSS SHAY"TO BURLESON
With Secretary Glass, He Objects to
Motor Car For Personal Use
Newspaper Headline.
Have you heard of the postoffice one
boss shay,
That was built in-such a logical way
1t ran like q charm to the present
day,
And then of sudden it faded away? !?
I'll tell you how happened the mail
delay,
Doing the soldiers out of home news,
Frightening parents out of their
shoes,
In spite of a three-cent stamp, I say:
Now in our postal service chaise-
tell you what
There was always somewhere q trou-
BILE spot
In zone laws. railways. the army ban.
Outside competition, how things ran,
Unusual congestion, catch as catch
Or maybe the Postmaster General
man;
Above or below, within or without,
And that's the reason, beyond a
doubt,
Our chaise broke down, but didn't
wear out.
Let someone else drive the postal
chaise.
Logic is logic-that's what say.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
HIS HANDICAP

Look here, Holler!" severly be-
gan Constable Sam T. Slackputter,
the we'll known sleuth of Petunia,
addressing the chief of the fire de-
partment, "the mayor and council
are kicking a good deal about your
everlasting chess playing, S'pose a
fire was to break out right now;
you'd hang back and fool around till
by the time you got there the hoio-
caust would prob'ly be all burn up"
1T wouldn't make any difference,
for / couldn't go to a fire nohow be-
fore day after tomorrow" replied
Chief Holler. my red shirt is in the
wash."-From the Kansas City Star.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
GERMAN GUILE

rr ow to develop peace orders
and get back on a normal
business basis is what is chai-
lenging the commercial and indus
trial leaders of the United States. An
authority suggests that 'in passing
from the activities of great war,
when very large part OF our whole
industry was devoted to war work
only a few months ago. to the new
conditions of peace, when the ma
chinery must be dlsmantled or re-
adjusted and the wheels set running
on peace orders, we are. bound to
encounter. difficulties and to meet
problems of character heretofore
unknown. But these problems by
themselves consist mainly OF how to
develop a SUFFICIENT volume of peace
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
THE SECRET

You silly. frilly lady of the century
anterior,
What charm had you that makes
men deem the modern girl
inferior?
What sweet. disarming, charming
trait beneath your prim ex-
terror,
Oh whisper. was 1t that you made
the men feel so superior?
Ethel Blair.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Too Much For Her

Whats happened next door?"
'The Jibbleby cook failed to show
up and Gladys Jibbleby, who holds
the local long distance tango record,
tainted from exhaustion after wash
ing the breakfast dishes"-From
the Birmingham Age-Herald.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

No American workingman who has
any conception of his own future i'm
terest will waste a minute on the
vaporings of the half-baked theorists
of Russia and their wild-eyed imita-
tors on this side of the Atlantic.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Gets Use of the Money!

Evidence continues to accumulate.
A couple of weeks before the Ger
mans started for Paris the kaiser
ssO.OOO.0oo of his private
fortune from London banks to Hol-
land. And that accounts for Hol-
Herald.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

There is no reason for our county
and city officials to hesitate on the
plans for the proposed city and county
building. The project has unanimous
public approval. We cannot talk en-
ployment for the returning soldiers
and others made idle by the sudden
cessation of the war and do nothing
TO solve the problem. Governor
Sproul is showing how to do 1t.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Simply Can't Pay EN- Back

Justice will have to be merciful in
dealing with the central powers.
Justice has not punishment enough
in her whole bag to give them their
due.-Buffalo Enquirer.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
One Can Alwdys Worry

Mrs. Peavlsh says another thought
that keeps her uneasy is that IL the
time should ever return when she
can buy a steak for 10 cents she
probably won't have the money
Dallas News.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Thrift-Dau Note

Another, good bet is that the
happy-go-lucky young man isn't 60
ing to act that way when he gets old.
Cincinnati Enquire.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Still We Send Missionaries

Eggs are said to be selling for six
cents a dozen in China That Is one
advantage of tie primitive civiliza-
tion-Baltimore American.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
Peace. One Win Another

Salt is good; but il the salt have
lost its saltness. wherewitn will ye
season 1t? Have salt IN yourselves,
and have peace one with another.
tx, so.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
We Simply Can't Please EN-

If America starts to feed Germany
it will be just like the Huns to kick
about the cooking.-Detroit Free
Press.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
He Takes a Chance Himself

The robin, however. wants 1t dis
tinctiy understood that his appear
ance guarantees nothing.-Indiana-
pelis News.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

Women engaged in munition work
throughout the countries at war
number 100000.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

that must face a shortage of facili-
ties.
HI. B. Eppley, burgess of York
Haven, will quit. He is going to move
to Goldsboro.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10
DO YOU KNOW

Harrisburg products are used
to make soldiers clothings for over
sea service?
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10

Oakland. (Cal.) Typographical
Union has secured a war bonus of
81 a week for it's members.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-02-10


running. while prices generally must
decline. and buyers everywhere are
disposed to delay purchases until this
decline seems really to have reach
ed bottom. While this is q large task,
1t Is being accomplished with great
energy. ability and caution, up to
the present without mishap. and. as
the decline in prices has very for
tunately thus far been gradual and
not precipitous, the transition may
after all be accomplished with a
minimum of friction and distress"
But it is not only the economic
adjustment that is bothering many
thoughtful citizens. What is troub-
ling them even more is the great
burden of debt thrust upon this
country by the German autocracy in
its wild race for world dominion and
its effort now as a vanquished nation
to demand terms of settlement that
will relieve these culprits of their
Just punishment Senator Harding,
of Ohio. has recently given tongue TO
the real sentiments of many Amerf-
can citizens in this forceful state
ment9
The point I want to make ts
that we proclaimed to the world
that we were making O war for
democracy. and we never would
have proclaimed IL for single
minute IL II had not been for the
politics of the moment. when most
men In public life were fearful OF
vote in the United States of
America; and instead of announc-
ing that we were making war on
Germany. which had trespaSsed
we made the excuse that we were
making war for democracy. and 1t
has been q lie from the beginning.
It has recently been developed in
an inquiry at Washington that an
effort was made in the 1916 cam
paign to throw the German vote to
Wilson and Vaccinations of propa-
gandists to keep America out of war
have been revealed before Senate
Democratic leaders make
no secret of their hypocritical cam
paign 'fWilson kept us out OF war,
when they must have known that in
the very midst of this deception of
the American people the United
States was already being engulfed
without the slightest effort on the
part of the Washington administra-
ton to prepare for our inevitable
and vital part In the world struggle.
Under the circumstances 1t Is not
a matter Of wonder that suspicion
should be directed toward the pa
cifistic and inexplicable attitude OF
the peace conference in the Ameri-
can sector toward the German PEN
alties. Ever since President Wilson
declared for peace without victory"
there has been an indeinable fear
he might forget even justice IN the
of peace terms. 1t is believed
that the Hun deviltry is still at work
and that the American people must
guard against an actual defeat at
Paris. We are dealing with an un-
and immoral people who
have no respect for covenants, and
Germany is ready to employ any
device to accomplish now in divided
council what she failed to achieve
on the field OF battle He must pay
to the limit and President Wilson
nor any other will be able. to defeat
the will of the red-blooded men who
forced our participation in the war
and who will see to 1t that those
who died shall not have died in vain.
There must be no compromise with
Germany and no nonsense after the
war"