Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-10-04
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It is reported that 1000 Of the 10000 Pres
byterfan churches are without pastors. It is
SAID that the phonogTaph may be resoFted to
to I'LL the void. Next we may expect to have
the choir replaced by the music box Then
there will be NO excuse for the soprano being
laid up with cold, anyway.
A French bride. recently arrived in this
country, doesn't like America Americans are
always so hurried they hardly notice you." she
complains. Well, If she will take OF her stock
ings, and everything, like her sisters do over
home when they hit the boulevards, we'll wager
wooden nickel she'll not be missed by any
body except the blind
he poets used to write of the loving kline,
but that was before the high cost Of living
struck them
"Furs make the woman reads an adver-
tisement And on the same page we read a
story that it's bare legs that make 'em in
Paris. Take your choice.
Husband--I don't believe in parading my
virtues"
Wne-'You couldn't, anyway 1t takes
quite number to make a parade"
The first aiFplane funeral has been held in
Canada Here is a suggestion to sinners who
may have doubts about getting to heaven.
They can put it in their wills that they get a
ride in the air. That will assure them a near
ness to heaven, anyway.
Nature Faking in Indiana
Mrs. Anna Dugans and her 7-year-oid
daughter, Katherine were returning home late
at night. A large black snake craWied around
dangling from the girls neck. Mrs Dugans
seized the snake near its head. and hurled it
into the street Neither Mrs. Dugans nor the
daughter were injured.-Vineennes, Ind, dis
patch to Chicago Tribune.
Too much dignity has spoiled the chances
of many a worker. Taking ones self too Sc
riously causes many near heartbreaks.
Pat Mccoy is the name of a 22-year old
girl who earned $1,000 last year a travelling
saleswoman for a wholesale plumbing house.
Yet some folks shudder at that thought of a
woman doing the work fashioned by man.
There is one good feature about breaking
up housekeeping: it enables people to get rid
of their old furniture.
Acid Sandwich Burns Worker."-Headline
This ought to serve as a warning against the
use Of acid in sandwiches. Ever tried one?
You may if you choose. It's no funeral of
ours.
Theodore wrote 100000 letters during his
public career and there is on file in his per-
sonal effects copy of each one Of that number
Roosevelt possibly never dreamed, when he
began his public career. one day he would at
tain to the conspicuous place he filed at the
time of his death There is a moral here:
Preserve copies of your letters, that is all of
them except those you write to your wife or
your sweetheart.
The average gain in weight of the American
boys who fought in Europe 10 pounds. In
other words, none OF those weighed were
found wanting.
A Chicago degenerate who mistreated lit
tie girls has been sentenced to hang This
will satisfy the public. but most people who
read the evidence in the murder of Janet Will
kinson by Fitzgerald would like to see him
boiled in oil. And even that would be treating
him too deCently.
Those Dangerous Hospitals!
Among the spectators al the opening game
today. were six army officers, each minus one
leg. lost in action, from the Walter Reed hos
pital in Washington-Chicago Tribune.
A Hens Testimonial.
Now raises 500 chickens, after being re-
lieved of organic trouble by Vegetable Com
pound. Patent medicine advertisement
Did the Cincinnati minister. who has been
praying for the Reds. forget yesterday. or was
his supplication lost in the chorus of appeal
from Chicago?