davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
Housekeeping.

We went housekeeping Immediately
upon our marriage, for mother said
she despised these boarding people;
she went to housekeeping when she
was married, and she meant all her
children should do the same; and IL
their husbands weren't able to go to
housekeeping then they weren't able
to be husbands, and there was an end
of IL; and no two people, she said.
brought up In different fashions, could
unite their lives into one without some
Earring. and third party was sure to
turn that jar into an earthquake; and
II there were fewer third parties half
the trouble would be done away with;
for she believed half the divorces and
separations and quarrels In the state
were brought about by boarding house
intimacies with third parties. Harriet
Prescott Spofrord.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
MAJORS RELIEF CAME FIRST
willing to Admit Sam Had Griev.
ance, but He Had Served the
Longer Term.

A major In stevedOre regiment en-
plOyed one of his men to take care of
his horses and do little chores around
the yard. One day Sam came into the
majors Office and he was some agitat-
ed man. After he had saluted, he ex-
claimed:
Major, want to be relieved from
dis hyar job right nowv"
The major asked him why he didn't
want the job any more.
"Major. that job is good enuff, but I
just can't seem to get along with yo'
all's wife. Seems every time l goes
down to that thar house she puts me
to dOin' all kinds of chambermaid's
work, and a-naggin' at me al, a Their
time, too"
Then it was the majors turn. "Sam,
I've been living with that woman for
thirty-odd years now. and IL there is
going to be anyone relieved, it's going
to be me."-Judge.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
Ring Three
r
By WILL T. AMEs
(copyrisht. 1913. By the Mcclure News
paper syndicsts.)

The telephone In the east room OF
the Hanford homestead rang zing-zlng-
ding. Miss Hanford, who was writing
notes, glanced inquiringly at the in
strument. The house was on a party
Mne, to be sure; separate wires In that
locality were not to be thought Of; but
Eleanor did not remember having
heard a ''ring three" call that year.
zing-zing-zing Zing-zing-zing clam
ored the phone. Miss Hanford was
wondering, as ten thousand other peo-
pie have wondered under similar cir
cumstances, whether she shouldn't
really answer, on the chance OF the
operator having made mistake. when
man burst into the room.
The man was a total stranger.
Eleanor had never seen him before. He
was large man and young. and 0bvi-
ously stark. raving mad; for not only
had he made his entrance to the house
unlimited and without permission Of
anybody. but now. without the first
word Of apology and without even
glancing at Miss Hanford, he rushed
wildly to the telephone. grabbed the
receiver and yelled in lavishly re-
dundant voice. "Hell0!"
To Eleanor's ordinarily calm eyes
his entire demeanor was that of
lunatic, perhaps dangerous one.
Without too much fuss she shifted her
position 80 that the drawer with the
pistol in It was just beside her right
hand.
The intruder. who had flung himself
into the none-too-strong windsor chair
beside the telephone table and made It
creak alarmIngly In doing so. appeared
still to be utterly unaware Of Miss
Hanford's presence.
"Hellol HellOl" he bawled, the look
Of wild anxiety on his countenance
becoming still wilder as he appeared
to wait, in desperate impotence,
reply that did not come.
Miss Hanford, who was never pre-
eipitate. had almost made up her mind
to fee and seek the protection Of old
Mark, the gardener, or Hannah In the
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31

know you are. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ly sorry to come tearing In that way.
but I'll tell you how II was.
"You see. I've had that little bunga-
low that sets back In the woods a
quarter of a mile above here for a
week. I've been away for good while
on that little business overseas and
she's been In California. so we haven't
seen each other. She got home to
New York yesterday and wired that
she'd be out here on tiis afternoons
train. There are two trains. you know.
and put In telephone call for her
ut New York. After II was in, and I'd
waited half an hour, realized that II
waited any longer couldn't meet the
tw0-eighteen. and she might bS on
that. So started. When the phone
man hooked up the bungalow he told
me that this big white house and that
stone one down below were the only
other subscribers ON the line. My
number was three.
"Just as was passing here heard
the ring. Golly! What was going to
do? If stopped to be polite they'd
calmly say, Party's hung up; excuse
1t, please!' by the time got the re-
ceiver down. know II was rotten
manners, but you've got to make al
lowances for fellow. sometimes. now
haven't you? My names Grey-Lester
Grey; scribble foolish things that
foolish people print sometimes. hope
you'll pardon my headlong intrusion"
Miss Eleanor Hanfcrd with all her
dignity and all her responsibility as
woman Of position and not little
wealth WINS, as matter Of fact, just
mere girl. And this big, utterly nat
ural, laundering boy with the marks Of
overseas still on him, was good to look
upon. Somehow 1t wasn't the ingenu-
GUS impropriety-quite shocking in It.
self-of his receiving his sweetheart In
q lonely bachelor bungalow that made
Eleanor feel u new and different kind
Of indignation toward him. Away down
In her secret heart she knew that 1t
was because there was sweetheart at
all.
"Oh, very WE'LL" she laughed-for. Of
course, under this new circumstance.
being a woman, she could no longer
show indignation of any sort lest 1t be
construed in certain way-"if you
put your defense on the ground Of
alteration. there is nothing
else to do but pardon you, suppose"
Grey should have gone away then.
OF course he should. A young man in
his peculiar position would be doing
very well, you'd think to get out of the
situation without cOmplicatlng 1t fur
Their. But the more he looked at this
little person the more
he didn't want to. The only thing he
could think Of to say, however, was:
May l not bring her to see you,
Miss Hanford?"
If looks could kill, Lester Grey
should have been at least serious
casualty. Bring whom, pray, Mr..
Grey?" Eleanor inquired chilly, with
her eyebrows quarter Of an inch
higher than normal.
MY mother, of course"
Whisper: Secrets: Just between
you and me: There was the gladdest
little thrill that ever was, right
through the middle of Eleanor's heart,
as she said-very nearly gasped-
"Why, l should be positively de-
lighted"
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31

Kitchen, when a great change came
upon the man at the phone. The
strained, eager look disappeared, a
happy light sprang into his gray eyes,
and he smiled broadly. Miss Hanford
mentally classified the smile as q grin.
"Like a Cheshire cats" she indignant
ly concluded.
''Sure, this is Les" the unlimited
guest was saying into the phone,
'Never so glad to hear a human voice
In my life, sweetheart Don't seem as
II could wait another minute to see
you. What's that7 Yes; didn't know
but you'd be up on the two-eighteen.
Yes; gets here at five-twenty. You bet !;
I'll be there. Good-by honeyI"
When about half way through this
monologue the man twisted about on
his chair till he was facing the mis-
tress Of the Hanford establishment.
Then, still grinning broadly and with
the receiver still at his ear. he winked
at Eleanor-winked at Miss Eleanor
Hanford, IL you pleased The nerve Of
himl
Miss Hanford arose, to the full height
Of her slxty-three majestic inches.
She no longer felt any fear of this
mailman she was experiencing instead
a mighty indignation. Much--anything
might be forgiven In a mere lunatic;
but for a vandal like this to violate
your privacy, to seize upon your prop
erty. to set at defiance all the conven-
lions and safeguards Of society--for
the purpose Of making love over your
phonetic some other woman-ugh!
Miss Hanford was all Icy calmness
AZ the trespasser, hanging up the re-
ceiver, uncoiled his tall length from
the trembling windsor chair and stood
erect. She gave him no time for first
word-there L. no strategy In that.
May be privileged" inquired
Eleanor, ito know to whom have the
honor of being hostess-and why? 1t
would be interesting to learn what
there is about this house to give
strangers the impression that 1t is
hotel or an Office building. do not
think II has ever been regarded as
mere public utility before"
I'm awfulIy sorry, Miss Hanford--
you are Miss Hanford. are you not ?
But what's the use Of that talk-I
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
Not a Square Deal.

My little cousin, Bobby, five, came
crying to his mother:
II don't like the little boy next door !;
he hit me-"
"Well," said his mother, II wouldn't
cry. Why didn't you hit him back 2"
Bobby thought for moment, then
said:
II did," and went away still sob
bling. In few minutes he was back.
"But, mother"
"Yes, Bobbyw
when he hit me, he hit me. and
when l hit him. I missed him.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
Why Teddy Left.

AS the Sunday school teacher was
entering the classroom she saw little
girl and her small brother leaving In
great haste.
"Why, Anna" she exclaimed in sur
prise, you aren't going homer"
please, Miss Jones, we've got to CO."
said Anna, In distress; 'sFreddie's swal-
lowed his collection"
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1919-10-31
Munchausen outcIassed.

II suppose you meet great many
eccentric characters In Washington"
"Oh, yes. You can hardly believe
the stories you hear about some Of
those persons"
"Now G.s.
II was once introduced to man who
was said to read every issue Of the
Congressional Record from cover to
cover
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
HIRAM STARTS FIGHT
Senator Johnson Calls on Admins.
tration to "Stop MeddIinq.'

uakiOn 10 OIo1 Meuuilng.
Washington, April 5.-Senator Hir-
am Johnson, the Progressive Republi-
can leader from California, in sar-
castle attack on President Wilson
and his Committing administration"
yesterday began what he calls cam
paign to make 1t respectable to be
/ an American again"
lie demanded that the officials Of
the government cease meddling in
the affairs of other countries, bring
the troops back home and pay some
attention TO American affairs.
Senator Johnson is one Of the sign
ers Of the round robin against the
League Of Nations. He declared that
he purposed TO keep up his campaign
until the people of the United States
come to their senses"
The regular monthly meeting OF
the Ladies' Aid society Of the Metho-
dist church will be held at the church
tonight at 100 O'clock. a large at
tendance Is desired, as there will be
election Of officers
Miss Helen Beecher, who recently
took the Civil Service examination In
Burlington for Customs House ant
Revenue Clerk, received the highes
mark Of the LOT in The state who tool
the examination, and is now await
ing her appointment.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
BANK ROBBERS CAUGHT
Automobile Carrying Thieves Broke
Down.

Randolph, n. Y, April 5.-The State
Bank Of Randolph was robbed by five
men soon after the doors were opened
today. The robbers obtained $4,000
in cash and several thousand dollars
worth of Liberty bonds.
The men drove up in front of the
bank in an automobile. Three en-
tered the building, two standing on
the sidewalk between the bank door
and the automobile, holding off all
citizens who CHANGED to come that
way.
Two of the trio in the bank herded
the clerks into a corner with threats
to shoot them, while the third went
into the cashiers cage took all the
money in sight.
AS the three thieves were leaving
the building, j. A, Crowley, cashier,
opened fire with revolver through a
glass partition. His aim was poor
and all five of the thieves entered
their machine and sped away, ex-
+ changing shots again with Crowley as
they passed the windows of the bank
on side street.
The highwaymen's automobile
broke down near Kennedy, a short
distance from here. One OF the men
was captured but the other -four
took to the woods and at noon were
still at large.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
JOCKEY ROBINSON KILLED
Star Rider is Spilled on the Race
Track

Track.
Baltimore, Md, April 4.-F'rankie
Robinson Americas premier jockey
is dead at the University hospital
here, Johnny McTaggart has two frac-
tured ribs and Mooney and Sneidman
are suffering from bruises and a Sc
we're shaking up as the result of
spill in the sixth race today at Bowie.
Robinson, under contract to Harry
Payne Whitney the New York mil.
lionaire, and the highest salaried rid
er in the United States, had gaping
hole torn in his skull at the race.
course.
The accident occurred when field
of eight horses dashed to the first
turn in a race of a mile and 20 yards
for four-year-olds and upward and u
mx-up followed at the sharp turn.
Willie Doyle was held responsible
by the track officials They claim
that Doyle, riding Garbage, swerved
over to the inside rail, when his
mount was not clear of the field
causing Ted Rice, who rode Harwood
which was on the rail, to pull NJ
sharply. \ tangle followed. Robin
son riding Roederer. was the second
to so down, Observers said the
jockey was thrown over his mounts
head and then kicked by the ANNA
McTaggart was on DR.. Charcote
Mooney and Sneidman were ridini
Manioc and Marianne respectively
Doyle with Garbage finished the rae
in the lead, but the stewards dlsQual
flied the horse.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
MILLION CHECKS
For AlIotments, Etc, During the
Month Of March.

Washington, D. c., April 4.-The
war risk bureau now is issuing
checks for allotments, allowances, in
surance and compensation in the
same months when they fall due. An
nouncement was made today that L.
062, 566 checks were mailed in March,
representing a total of $39,14S,S2305.
Since the bureaus establishment
nearly $419,OOO,O00 has been paid ont.
Mechanical devices by which TWEEN
ty checks are signed with an actual
pen signature at one time, have been
installed to assist in handling the
enormous volume Of business tran
sacted by the bureau.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
chlldrenla loulo.

no you know" said n little fellow
Of four years OF ago, "what I thought
dark was? A great, huge live thing,
the color of black, with mouth and
eyes" Another assured his teacher
that the wind wns alive, for he heard
II whlstling In the night.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-04-07
500 Reward. 500

Tho readers OF this paper will be
pleased TO learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all It's stages and
that Is catarrh. Catarrh being greatly
Influenced by constitutional conditions
requires constitutional treatment. Halle
Catarrh Medicine " taken internally and
acts thru the Blood on the Mucous Sur
faces OF the system thereby destroying
the foundation OF the disease, giving the
patient strength by building UP the con-
stitution and assisting nature In doing It's
work. The proprietors have so much
Catarrh Medicine that they oficr One
Hundred Dollars for any case that u fats
10 cure. Send for lnt OF testimonials.
Address T.. J. CHENEY q co. Toledo.
Ohio. Sold by ell Druggists. zoe.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1919-02-13
Il VERSE 4 DAY.
FHE DAY OF THE MOTOR TRUCK.

IXXTHEN the pink primordial pride and joy
w OF antediluvian hoi poloi
Had icthyosaurian steak to tote
He dragged it along on an old stone boat;
Or when his congenial mate and he
Would lug their luggage along the lea
Or down to a gloomy and glacial shore
They found their burden considerable chore
Oh, tough was their lot and said their luck
For they had Gazimpikus motor truck
When Hannibal scampered an Alp
The rollicking Romans hollered "halp"
For they had been told that it couldn't be doAe
And Hannibal fooled them, the son-of-a-gun!
Some stunt for those Carthaginan geeks
Was peregrinating across the peaks
For all of their baggage rode all the way
Upon their cervical vertebrate
And into the ruck poor Carthage snuck
For she had Galunrpical motor truck
4
And tres unfortunate, too the fate
OF Alexander, the so-called great,
Of Kid vespasian, Brian Boru,
Napoleon Bone and Stonewau, too
Copernicus, Newton and Peter and Paul.
Solomon Satan, Salome and Saul,
They lmped along in their feeble way
Without the aid of the benzine shay,
While you and have superlatiVe luck
We have the Gazootical motor truck
Then hail to the cam and the cog and wheel,
The brass and copper, the wood and steel!
And hail the dominant speed and STYLE
And super service of gas and lie!
No more need the proetariat pine
That the load must lean the sagging spine,
For now it 1ope DER the loamy lea
On Packard, Packard Fierce, Moonstone r;
Gosh almighty we're all in luck;
We have the Gazzamkus motor truck
j. P McEvoy, IN the Chicago Tribune.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1919-02-13

only 342830 0e 3703 900 bales of cotton
With good season ahead of u.s. would you increase
the acreage2
Which would you rather do, prouuce more cotton
and take less price for after working larger
Der of at greater expense limit your production
to smaller number of acres, better tended permitting
the full production of your and better
chance for a good price?
1T IS ABSOLUTE FOLLY to upset the present pros
perity of the cotton states by PLANTING A LARGE
ACREAGE which only mean LARGE CROP and a
LOWER PRICE. hear rlmors of farmers selling their
livestock to put their land all in Such action
inviting disaster farmers landlords merchants and
bankers combine pull house down upon their own
heads by producing large crop of cotton they should
have the to make appeal to the the
world for help if their action leads them into dis
tress
But remember that there is GOOD WOY Look in
the bulletin. FOOD PLUS COTTON EQUALS PROS
PERITY Full production of the FOOD for cur people
and the FEED for growing livestock industry
South should be the first and most important considera
ton. SAFE FARMING demands caution this time Sup
ply your needs first as a sound measure of pro-
lection then hold your cotton acreage down to
crate figure less than in 1915 in we may
guard the production and not destroy prosperity by
deliberately over-producing IT IS UP TO THE SOUTH
TO PLAY SAFE GAME SAFETY FIRST DEMANDS
THAT EVERY COTTON FARMER BIG AND LITTLE
SHALL COOPERATE IN HOLDING DOWN THE COT
TON ACREAGE"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1919-02-13
THE STATE PRESS.
Diversity! Diversity!

The fact that about sixty cent of the 1918 cotton
is in the hands of the farmers is conclusive
evidence that they have raised much
needs at home If the embargo the expectation of
ton is lifted outside demand will in all probability
the price up least figure that reasonable The
moral is Investigation greater diversfcation than
before is urged 1s19-The Fitzgerald Herald
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1919-02-13

It's easy enough farmer to sell bale of cotton
anywhere at what is termed the market minus little
jig off that the local buyer will take if he gets the
chance but to sell bushel OF potatoes, gal
lon Of syrup pen of chickens will have to peddle
them from house to house in order to find market
Townsville will have one for all fruits and vegetables
this year-Thomasville Times Enterprise
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1919-02-13

Those silly absurd .sufragettes who burned Presi-
dent Wilson's eagy in front of the White House Sun
day disgraces to their The great pity is that
two silly Southern girls were In the bunch OF mischief
doers.-Vadosta Times
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1919-12-06
1intcriucbmitceft iiber
Berlincr tscpclmticn
ariesSminiiter 9ieinbarbt gab &c.
febl, $50 Spartafer pbne iuei-
teres sa erIdlieken.

Berlin 6. 9ea.-Die eeeenndr-
tig bon elmer 9fei9stagsfomlttillinn
ongeIteIlte llnteriudlng iiber Die
M6r5.aebolution in Berlin bat er.
geben, baB Der ebenaIige ariegs.
niitiIter @enerolnlaior Geinbarot
(lnter Oent ebert 9ieginle) 2eltt-
nant MarIo6 0rOer gegeben hat.
ipenn notig $50 @taril 9febolrtio-
n1re Sii erifieben.
Jieinbnrot itpllte biefes III abre.
De, erfI1rte jeood), ooB er gefebI
gegebeit babe. erborinungslos bor5lt.
eeben; iibrigens, 10 iagte er, ipiirbe
er 0cn 8efaI, bGtte ct einen fol.
den ipirflif eage6en alS D6qis ge.
redJtfertigt 6oItcn. &allptmnnn Sci
Tel fagte aus, ooB na6 General
yfeinbarots glniidt Die ganSe Sra.
rineoibiiion bdtte fiifiIiert tueroeu
ioIlen. aeiiel idgte, er bdttc 2elt.
itnnt Ma6ntaber inItruiert ibo4
iiltngstos borsngeben, ieIbit petm e.
oos 2eben bon $50 Mam foiterl
iolIte. Sierouf b1tte MebmoDer ge'
nnttportet: o6nnoertfiinfsig Mann
follen niebergeIdoiien iperoen2 Sic
fin0 tn0i"
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1919-12-06

&oniulnragetten fpltroe IN nfttIiheis
uno &ongreBfreiien perihie6et aiif.
gefaBt. SSeood) mar bns @efiibl Dor.
5errihenb, oaB Die niisenblidlite
5panniilg sipiiden beioen 2dn6ern
In erireuIident MnBe noheeIoiien
babe, unb oob Der &ongreE feine
tueitere @eranlalirne babe. iid] In
bic nlerifanifden angeIeeenbeiten
Ser Gegiering ein5umiid)efl Bis oos
Staatsoepnrtement griinbIid]e BE-
neile babe, Oh Garran5o fid] dis-
fiinftig nm bic 8arnltngen Der Der.
Stdaten fiirtrllern iperoe noer fiid)t.
Senfins iuill iuieber arretiert iuer-
ben.
Gtoot Mlerifo, S. Sea. s.sidd fei.
ner sSreilalluns am 9oniierstas
nabntittng periudtee oer aonlulnrs
agent Senfins bier eineetroffenen
siodridtca 5ufoIge, feline @iaoerber-
baftitne au peranlaiien. 0ie Ge-
ridtsbeb0roen IN 9uebla erIanbten
inn iebod aidt, oas @efdngnisee-
bduoe alt betreten. gielr 8eniiibun.
gen oes 9lgeliten etitiprdngen Dem
geitreben, feline 5reibeit belongings.
Los all erlansen; er bebuuptete
ndn1lid, elmer iciner s5reinoe, s.
@alter Saniett. babe aegen ieitten
8ilIen fir i'm 8iirsidnft geIeiitat,
uno er ipoILe nidlt ouf ioIde BE-
oineuneen ieine Sreibeit nnnebnten-
Dterifafiifd)e 3eitltngen beridten,
ooB Silario Meoinn, Der i1,erif0ni-
id)e lltterftautsiefret1r, ii1 babilr
gcauBert babe bob oitr1 Die aret.
Iniillng bes Seafins 1IIe @riittoe
fir Steibungen on'iid)en Merifo iifao
ben Ser. stauten hinipegaerduntt
ieien.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1919-12-06
Garratsa icbliefst
41ctrcleitm<Witeuen

9olliturb aer. 6. 8ea. @rGii-
bent Garran5a ntadt ieine 9robung
mobr, Dab er aIle felt 0eit grlaB
Der giegierunaSberfiigune aur 9sn-
tionaliiatiou set 9etroleitlttqueIlen
erbobrten -Giellen idlieBeit iperoe.
glIe nelerbobrten Giiellen iolder
@eieGidoften, Die es neridiinlt baben,
Ole nod bern tfeuen inerifnniifell
@eies erforoer[ideil @rloiibni5lGei-
ne bon Der nerifoltiihet 9eeierline
at eripirfen, iitlb eeifIoiIen i,ilo nut
elmer merifoniiden Bodtntnnnidoft
umgeben woroen. Gnrh nieieS &or-
eeben Der nierifnniihen Nesieriina
ipiro oie t1gIide 9etroleitntproouf.
tion 91erifoS nt 100000 SAP Der.
ninOert.