davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1919-01-30
Too Much.

The Club Man-What's this I hear
about you and your wife having trou.
BILE? Before you were married you told
me you would go to the ends Of the
earth together.
The Married Man-Yes, but didn't
know she wanted to 60 there in q
taxicab.
The herald., 1919-01-30

When one contemplates the new war
taxes and the high cost Of living, II ID
difficult to be content to leave the
ex-kaiser to the stings Of his own con-
science.
The herald., 1919-01-30
Othsr Worries.

'Does golf improve your healthF
"No," replied Mr.. Glithersby' Ut
spondently.
"But l should think fresh air, e1er
else and the interest one naturahy
takes in the game would help you tut
get your business cares"
"Oh, II does, but play sucn poo'
game that my golf cares keep me III
bad hurncr all the time"
The herald., 1919-01-30
Great Man Yielded.

"What1l you gimme for an interview
with Senator Wombat?"
"T'll pay you well If you really got
an Interview. But everybody knows
that Senator Wombat never talks"
Il got an interview, though. raised
my eyebrows and he nodded his head
The herald., 1919-01-30
Compensation.

His Wife-Mother's going to make
US little visit. I know you don't oh.
ject to having her here for a short
time.
The JOkesmith-Oh. I can stand Il.
Out of weeks visit I get enough ma,
terial for a years supply of mother-in.
law jokes.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Bertha-What did father say when
you asked him If you could marry mel
Percy-He didn't really refuse, but
he made very severe condition.
Bertha-What was it?
Percy-He said he'd see me hanged
6rst-Tit- Bits.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Any U-boat commander who refused
to destroy food cargoes would have
been disciplined to the limit. Yet
Germany now issues a plea for "a
lions.
The herald., 1919-01-30
Obeyinu Orders.

Mistress-What are you doing,
Martha?
Martha-The doctor told me to take
iron for me blood and Tn trying to
melt the poker
Mistress-But, Martha, you can't
drink melted iron!
Martha-Then I'll have to wait till
Il cools.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Recently 20. D." has stood for olive
drab. When Johnny comes marching
home with the latest overseas slang
20. D." will signify "old DEAR"
The herald., 1919-01-30

Mrs. TOnguesmith-It won't do you
any good to say a word. Talk is
cheap.
Mr.. Representatives., my dear.
The supply is so far in excess of the
demand.
The herald., 1919-01-30

In action you couldn't see the Yanks
for dust. And coming home, in the
case Of some of them, you can't see
'em for medals.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Germany's efforts to make a market
for toys would indicate some misspent
time that might have been devoted to
war gardening.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Running the entire railroad system
Of the United States doesn't seem to
be so much of Job, judging by the
number of men mentioned to tackle II.
The herald., 1919-01-30

1t must be great relief to the comic
papers Of Germany to be able at last to
work off their large accumulation Of
Jokes on the ex-kaiser.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Some Of those ball players who
rushed to the steel league will ina
they did not make such a wise move
as they supposed.
The herald., 1919-01-30

II America is to feed the Germans
she may as well expect to hear COM
plants about the menu such as hos
pitality seldom escapes.
The herald., 1919-01-30

In spite Of all kinds of publicity tai.
ent In all sections, Paris continues to
be the best advertised town on the
map.
The herald., 1919-01-30

The whirligig Of time brings in its
revenges. The invincibility Of the
German army and navy is now scrap
Of paper.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Soap is going up, Its manufacturers
say. just at the time when a general
cleanup is begun throughout the
world.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Some of the peace news IS almos,
as exciting as the war reports usad
to be.
The herald., 1919-01-30

A celebration is expected that will
make gay Paree" wonder whether II
ever knew before what real gayety is
The herald., 1919-01-30

The United States navy emergos
from the war just as it went in, with
colors flying, only more so.
The herald., 1919-01-30
His Qualification.

THAT horse is too sensitive to use
Tor hunting"
"All the better. He will be quicker
10 take fence"
The herald., 1919-01-30

The government might at least send
the ball players home in time to omen
the season.
The herald., 1919-01-30

The thrift learned by cOmpulsion IN
war times should not give way to e1.
travagance in peace.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Russian misfortune has served its
useful purpose in showing the world
precisely what "bOlshevism" means.
The herald., 1919-01-30
Browns Predicament,

sHOnki Honk !"
as that your auto outsider"
mo, that's Brown. He swallowed
some gasoline by mistake for medicine
and now instead of coughing he
hOnks."
The herald., 1919-01-30

Boycott the food profteers and tna,
will soon come down.
The herald., 1919-01-30
Accounting for IL

He-I tell you, the rich dress that
rust millionaire's wife is wearing was
paid for by blood money.
She-That accounts, then, for the
gore in the skirt.
The herald., 1919-01-30

The baseball fan wants IN know =,
this League of Nations will agree to
a world series.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Belgium occupies a comparatively
small space on the map, but will take
a big place In history.
The herald., 1919-01-30

When the troops return we sbou
hear just how some Of the socks VIC
knitted fit.
The herald., 1919-01-30

The hog market isn't the only place
where the law of supply and demand
and the price are strangers.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Look at the total cost in mere porou
Il you think war pays.
The herald., 1919-01-30

This war cost the world two hundred
billion and its education has just be-.
gun.
The herald., 1919-01-30

More Of the mighty have fallen
The flu IS no longer even a minor
topic of conversation.
The herald., 1919-01-30

With the disappearance Of hichh,u.
how are golfers to play the nineteenth
hole?
The herald., 1919-01-30
Imperfection.

Twas ever Natures wise intent
With good to mingle bad;
30 she neglected to invent,
Somehow, a homeless shad.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Now 1t seems that German efficiencv
was only skin deep.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Powdered sugar IS on the marks.
again, probably in lump form as uspo,
The herald., 1919-01-30
A Friendly Dig.
med THU hn& r,rcnl&0

II trimmed this hat myself" -
"Yes7"
snow, don't say 1t looks like it,
II won't, my dear. II there's any.
thing pride myself on it's tact
The herald., 1919-01-30
ANNOUNCEMENTS.

Prayermeeting tonight at 1880.
Everybody is urged to attend.
Next Sunday is communion day in
our church.
At the evening hour, the pastor
will take occasion to emphasize the
big drive that begins Feb. 3, for the
suffering Armenians. The subject
will be: THE Parable of the Good
samaritan This message should
be of especial interest to the NOM
bers Of the Independent Order of
oddfellows, who are especially in
vited.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Glory remains with US and so 40 -
war taxes.
The herald., 1919-01-30

And now for the making Of war HI.
tories, world without end.
The herald., 1919-01-30
SUNDAY SCHOOL.

Last Sunday morning tn aeroplanes
started on little chase, but Towards
is still leading by two laps. Martin
showed up very well, but he needs a
little more push.
Next Sunday is the first Sunday
in February. Let US do our best this
Sunday for the Centenary Movement.
Four stamp books have been turned
in for the Armenians. Have won
filled yours?
Have you made your pledge for the
centenary! If not, be prepared to do
so in the near future.
JUNIOR MISSIONARY SOCIETY.
The Junior Missionary Society will
hold their monthly meeting next Sun
day afternoon, at 4 p. m. Election
The herald., 1919-01-30
Mz;,,.zN.zizzzzMz
<CHsrz ETaaS
VISITORS.

rev. John Burns pastor of the
Catnoiic Church. Pass Christian. Miss.
and secretary to Bishop Gum. spent
Two days in Algiers the early part of
this week. Rev. John Donovan who
expects his release from the army and
The herald., 1919-01-30

Teacher-Now, children, which one
Of you can decline the word "sickY"
Katie Tin a tragic voice)-Sick-
wOrse-dead.
The herald., 1919-01-30
Gosh.

In days of old, when knights were bold
Book agents were in fettle;
You dassent kick a man, I'm told
His pants were made of metal
The herald., 1919-01-30

| learn to pray as never before; our
people should accept the principles
of Christian stewardship and at
least one million Of them should be-
| come tithes; and we must raise a
| fund of $50, 000,000.O0 for mission
airy effort and world construction.
| II all this is done, who will say that
| Methodism has not celebrated her
| missionary centenary adequately
and splendidly? In this great move
ment all organizations of the church
| are represented. Outlined by one
| hundred leaders, the centenary idea
| was enthusiastically adopted by the
General Conference. The Sunday
School, the Church Extension Board.
| the Epworth League, the Woman's
Missionary Society all of these have
| their place and have thrown all their
energies into the mighty effort. But
| in the last analysis, responsibility
is always individual. What will
this church do? What about you.
as an individual member of this
church? Have you seen the vision
| caught by our Methodist fathers 100
years ago?
Will you celebrate the Centenary
in your own life? VIII you conse-
crate yourself, will you 1.-THE, will you
give until God applauds you? Our
Centenary Celebration will be
failure unless individual Methodists
do these things" The talk was
we'll received and appreciated.
PERSONALS.
Miss Myra Martin is sick at her
home on Eliza st. She has pneu-
monia.
Mr.. Justus Labit reioiced the loved
ones on Evelina Street Sunday by
arriving after having done duty over
seas for several months. He has his
discharge.
Mr.. and Mrs Wilder of Crowley,
have been by the bedside of Mr.. B.
II. Brakeman, who has been so sick,
but who is now out of danger.
Miss Irva Daniels, who has been
sick, is now convalescing, but was
not able to attend to her Sunday
School and church duties last Sun
day.
Last Sunday a very pretty story
of self-denial was told by the Sun
day School Superintendent. The
story is told as follows:
Gussie Woolverton in Miss Thel-
ma Cayard Sunday School class.
She presented the story of the suf-
ferings Armenians so wildly that
this pupil, who had earned and
saved two dollars to buy skates, de-
cided to give that amount to those
sufferers. This is a real fine ex-
ample of what can be done by self
denial.
Miss Florence Kinkaid is clear of |
fever, after a weeks illness.
Misses Ida and May Harvey are
both well again.
Last Sunday, the pastor had two |
funerals. One was Mr.. Geo. Ko-
bolt, who had been a member of our |
church for twenty-one years, having |
Joined under the pastorate of Rev. |
X. H.. Wynn. Brother Kobolt was
only thirty-six years of age and was |
taken in the midst of his years
Juanita, the infant daughter of |
Mr.. and Mrs. w. w. Hicks, of Sill
dell St, was the other one laid away.
The families of these bereaved house
holds have the prayers of the pastor
and the congregation, that God NAV
send peace and comfort.
Mrs. ]. B. Miller, who has been
sick at Hotel Dieu, has recovered
and 1t at home on Pelican Avenue
again.
Mrs. Jno. Walters, Mrs. Garrett
Lynch and Miss Emma George are
all we'll again.
The members of the household of
Mr.. t. B. Fears are all out again.
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
The herald., 1919-01-30

OF officers will take place and all men,
bers are expected to be present.
The herald., 1919-01-30

Not On the Dot. =
.
She was a lazy, lazy girl,
And. too, a trifle snippy.
No wonder that she failed to dot
The is In Mississippi.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19

tism because he was so popular with
French and Belgian girls. Lucille says
she could stand for the mamzell but
wien he took to boasting' OF how the
freuleins fell for him
Daddy Lorlmer's hearty laugh stop
ped our gossip. Daddy is fond of Mar
that-always hunts her up when she
comes TO the house.
ITS no laughing matter to Lucie, :.
Chrys went on. ut has actually driv-
en- that butterfly girl to take posi-
ton in Judson's silver shop"
where she'll remain six weeks
probably" was Martha's comment
I'VE women are an uneasy crew. H.u-
Gle is helping to promote unstable
wage conditions. Women are patty tc
blame for the H. C. L. Why, some
women think that by adding to the
family wage they increase the family
comfort. Half the time they subtract
from II"
you've said 1t Martha" said Daddy
1--WE a first class foreman who never
employs men whose wives work away
from home. He says such men arc
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19

only bali as efficient as those whose
wives stay al home and mind tae ba7
.bies and do the marketing and baking
and canning and pack their husbands
lunches in the old-fashioned way. And
! bet he's right. too!!'
aWhlle the reconstruction period
lasts. why don't we women recon
struct our kitchens?" ] ventured tim
idly. q don't mean on the theory that
we ought to get our of them, and way
from home, and into our husbands
employments. mean on the principle
Of getting more efficient Kitchens, bet
Ter cooking and more comfortable
homes In return for the amount OF Ia
Dor we put into them"
you've said 1T, jane" remarked
Daddy.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19
dBItiGIi5IIIIItaBtEEdlr
easq5hel 1aob<de E93lf,p7pgkat~pzvAspaaa
easy43hhd 1aloh Aas

So Boz and i had had a vulgar
sefbal sauabble over that wretched
ettcT and It was all my fault, aud
leeald fave cried my eyes out only 1t
wasnt worth while to do so because
Bob y3ald have missed the effect. He
vent down town and stayed away FROM
ma tbr hours, the i:rst time STAGE VI
senreunited.
we awfuily MORBID, Of cours4, t!e
iosef j dwell upon the occurrence lie
RcryG hiudped Ala would rave
afiiisysdst g.,sily Jealous and unr7d'-
enable mood with which TO welcome
III h man home to dinner, had ROT
Mother plloned me &c come o7T a.
sotiety saved me Il at day. Ih9 7n-
itimcenisnls OF The engagement n'Fan
% AXE effect Never had sucn IN
tim produced mere remarkable e
suits
Intimate friends o. mothers, esd
liz tliat her son was 20 wed the brsc-
Eifil MISS Miller t=he hadn't neg. d
q. Seod hnr p,ctur: with the n-wsl
aan,e 10 sympatf1!ze with moth r. IT
acpearei that all the older 10 An
had eah opinion" IF the girl. Iney
came to amplify :hat opinion to NOM
and remained to drink tea Win
Bob's lawful wife! =.
Martha Palmer dropped in-she is
one Of Mothers favorites. After Mar
tina had Rugged me, after we had wept
together, she impressed me with tne
idea that 1t is an awfully serious thing
to disappear and come to life again
Iresolyed never to do it again. sup
pose / acquired her legal view OF the
case. To keep her from questioninIg
me-they say she is in line to be the
next assistant prosecuting attorney
/ made her talk about herself. snes
built Up a fine law practice while EV'
an was with the A. E. F.
Chrys came in. She usually avoids
= group OF women. When she anc
Martha observed that was terribly
distressed about something, they turn
ed the conversation into safe chan
lawfully exciting world" remarked
my sister in law. Let the actors
strike. We can furnish our owl
stunts for while. Lucie Searle Is
I doing her turn Just now" -,
Getting divorce, suppose" Ihi'
from Martha. "And she was one O
the original war brides! Married
Grant searle the night he left for ov'
erseas service"
aAnd now she's telling her intimate
friends that Grant is so conceited
. since he came back that she stmpi!
san't put up with him"
What ais Grant?"
"Lucile says he's soaked in ego
j
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19
VALUABLE PROPERTY.

The value of any property depends
IN what IT will sell for. An attractive
house sells quickly and at good
nrice The beauty Of house depends
largely on the style and color OF the
roof Let US show you samples OF our
saveral different styles Of attractive
and high class roofing. Fairmont wal
9,aster Company.-Adv.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19
nAgalEp Ar HARRISBURG.

1ucy Mortified and Harrison Mer-
rifIe1d were married at Clarksburg
Sept. 10.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-09-19
Her sui

She will probably pick
one Of the stylish Tn
cotine models, with
new lines to the skirt
and a smartness to the
Jacket that only the
best manufacturing can
give. Or a Suit Of
Velour, Serge, DuYey1l
Silvertone; Duvet de
Lame, or Tinseltolle
may be her choice
S29.75 to SIO0
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-04-07
FIND $4,000 HIDDEN
IN SPINSTER'S HOME
Miss Schasfer Used Old News.
papers az q Bank.

Almost $4,000 was found yesterday
secreted among tho old newspapers with
which the home OF Annie L. Schaefer,
800 Norris avenue, Newark, was Allied
The lone woman. dressed in rags OF
mems clothes, was found suffocated on
Saturday when firemen forced an
entrance to extinguish a small blaze in
her kitchen. In an old stove was
s375.T5, in one closet was $50. another
shelf held s47o. 3225 was tucked into
various pigeonholes OF an old desk and
the pages Of a hymn book yielded $50
more, while four tin tobacco boxes were
loaded with dimes and nickels, ana
money was found in every pocket of the
three waistcoats which the woman wore.
Richard Il. 4 Schaefer, the woman's
brother, appeared in Newark yesterday
after reading THE SUN story. and
claimed his sisters body. He lives at
46 Fresh Pond Road, Maspeth. L. L.,
but made arrangements for his sisters
funeral from the Newark morgue. to
which her body was taken by the police.
Mr.. Schaefer told the police that his
sister, who was 55 years old. had
worked for many years in a Newark
corset factory. spending but little OF her
earnings. During that time they lived
together. But she developed a mania
for the collection OF old newspapers and
mazasines. with which she filed the
house 10 full that her brother says he
was obliged TO move out He said they
both received a small legacy after the
death OF . relative few years ago.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-04-07
TO FLY FROM N. Y.
TO NEWFOUNDLAND
Navy Apiafors at RockaWdy
Plan Nonstop Test.

The Manufacturers Aircraft Associa-
tion. composed OF the principal airplane
builders in tho United States. announced
yesterday that the nrst OF the three navy
flying boats will leave the Rockaway
naval station for Newfoundland between
April IL and 10.
Commander John H. Towers has is
sued orders forbidding any news about
the attempt being given out at
Rockaway. Tho aircraft association.
however. states that a nonstop flight to
Newfoundland. By way Of test. will be
attempted. The twelve or thirteen hun
dred miles between Rockaway and the
jumping of place for tho cross-ocean
flight should be covered in sixteen hours.
Tho conjecture Of the aircraft asso-
citation Is that three ships will under
take the transatlantic night. One Of tho
four big flying boats the NC 1, recently
wrecked in q gale At Rockaway. has only
three motors, but the others are equipped
with four. The exact damage to the NC l
is not known.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-04-07
POPE BLEssEs NEW MOVE HERE
Archbishop Hayes Also Approves
Drive to Build French Churches.

Both Pope Benedict and Archbishop
Hayes have given their approval to a
movement launched in the New York
archdiocese, but which will be nation
wide, for the collection OF funds with
which to erect temporary churches In
France to replace the thousands of de-
stroyed Catholic churches until a re-
sumption of prosperity enables the
French people to restore their own
churches The temporary churches will
be of wood and can be used also for
schools parish halls and the like.
The actual campaign Is restricted to
Catholics, but contributions from other
sources will be accepted. Workers are
being organized to visit all Catholic
churches In the diocese to make coliec-
lions. and Archbishop Hayes has sent
letter to rectors authorizing a Sunday
collection. The campaign Is being
financed by wealthy Catholic women. The
funds raised in the United States will
be transmitted to Cardinal Annette in
Paris Pope Benedict has blessed the
work.
The movement Is under the auspices
OF tho Society to Help the Devastated
Churches of France, which has been in
corporated. The Countess de Laugier
Villars is president. Mrs. Frank A. Otis
secretary and Mrs Donald Harper
treasurer. Cardinal Gibbons of Balti-
more and Cardinal OConnell OF Boston
are honorary presidents, while Arch
bishop Hayes of New York and Arch
bishop Giennon OF st. Louis are honor
AIRY vice-presidents. Morgan j. O'Brien,
Nicholas r. Brady. Justice Victor ].
bowling. Marcel Knecht and others are
directors.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-04-07
BOWMAN REPLIES TO HIRsCH.
Hotel Man Says Pershins Square
Plan Would Add to Congestion.

John Nee Bowman. president Of the
Commodore Hotel, replied yesterday to
the new ideas OF Chairman Nathan
1iirsch OF the Mayors committee on
taxation concerning Pershing Square, as
printed Friday. Mr.. Bowman said:
Chairman Hirsch proposes to take a
stretch Of Park avenue and rechristen II
Pershing Square. This. he thinks. would
give the city a plaza 100 feet wide by
two and a half miles long and increase
the honor TO our Expeditionary Forces in
proportion.
II am unable to sec how this will help
the congestion OF travel which prevails
IN front of the Grand Central Station. a
congestion which Is visible to anybody
morning, noon or night who crosses Park
avenue or Forty-second street either way
Il, approaching the Grand Central Sta
ton or the subway entrances. The re-
Inoyal of the elevated spur and pillars
from the centre OF Forty-second street
between Park and Third avenues. which
] assume will happen some time. by
making a freer roadway. is only going to
increase the travel which naturally seeks
the easiest line Of resistance.
'If a forty story building be erected
or the site Of the old Grand Union Hotel
Il will halt and prevent the surrounding
development of new buildings In the same
way as the Equitable Building has done
in the lower part OF the city. Such a
result will cost the city q net loss or
thousands of dollars a year in taxes.
III the principle of economy which
Chairman IIirsch urges be adopted there
IL no reason why Central Park and Mad
ison Square should not be cut UP into
building lots and the city treasury be
thus repienished. or why some two hun
bred and nifty acres or land In the middle
OF Staten Island should not be called
<>srsAlnA Square - . sQbstitnts-*
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-04-07
TRANSPORT ARRIVES
WITH ARMY NURSES
The Metapan Also Brings
American War Heroes.

The transport Metspan, with ~ army
nurses and 81 casual officers. mostly OF
the air service, arrived yesterday from
Brest ana locked in Hoboken. Capt.
Abraham Tabachnik Of St Louis. got q
citation for bringing down a German
plane near St Mihiel on September IL.
last year. while fighting a feet Of twenty
enemy planes that almost made a sieve
Of his machine and wounded him In four
places.
Lieut.. Richard 8. Austin OF Brooklyn
also was cited by Gen. Pershing for val
ordus work in the Argonne-Meuse Often
sive, aid Lieut. Harold Watson Of Chi
cago received Croix de Guerre for fine
work at veriun. Lieut.. Walter J. OCon-
nell Of tho Medical Corps, son Of Con-
gressman Daniel J. O'Connell Of Brook
Ign. has been attending to French
wounded mostly, at Caen and Chateau
Roux.
Tho nurses sailed for France by the
White Star liner Olympic on August Is
last. and four of their number died OF
influenza on the trip. and smother OF
meningitis after landing. Sixteen Of the
arrivals. known az the Kansas City Unit,
were In charge OF Col Lindsey Mills.
There were three nurses from this
city, Miss Birdie A. Phalen. LOT East
Sixty-fourth street; Miss Rooney, 1877
East Sixty-ninth street. and Miss Mar
garet Sullivan. 4+4 West Fifty-eishth
street They were stationed at Base
Hospital IS. near Chaumont, which han
died 400 infectious cases.