The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-01-16

Recently | read a
USVA adv. which starte
<\% out like this: "Ar
~ you tempting fate
1and it set m
thinking. You ese,
verify believe I've been dom tina
very identical thing. have been ii,
| vited out a time or two to eat a
| places where the eatin. was good an
the morning after the night before
felt that | was takin the dropsy 60
some other foreign disease) whe
the truth is | simply had overfed.
| was telnptin fate in my emaciate
and rundown condition. | was flyit
in the face of providence by eatir
all could hold. So il any of yov
are thinkin of invtin' me out to hell
clean up at hog KILN time, don't d,
it. won't come I'm too weak
m not able. refuse to tempt fate
I'm also sorry.
"A poet indicted for treason.
Ieadline, Now, by golly, that's un
fortunate, very. But then poets g.
wrong (same as preachers) at times
The method of dealing with EN- dit
fers somewhat. If poet goes
wrong he is fined and sent to Jail
but let preacher commit the sam,
offense and he is forgiven and his
salary raised. Huh? How do !
know We'll, amt | a poet?
Some one asked me if l had ever
read poem entitled The Lay of the
Last Minstrel. NO, SIR" says I,
mot lately-at present ! am more in
!erested Gust now) in the lay of the
last hen
People are queer animals. Yes,
sir, they shore are. AS long as you
flatter EN- and say nice things
about EN- and praise EN- they are
happy and tell you that life without
your friendship would be wilder
ness OF woe--and they wear a smile
like unto that which radiates from
the face of dying christian. But if
you Tin careless momenD call their
attention to a single fault, You have
made all enemy for life and they
holler their heads Off. Now me-
Well, guess | have more faults
than any one. Some of EN- | recog-
nize. Others don't and count
him friend who tells NE about ,'em.
Possibly | may go on exhibiting the
said fault. but I'll have the satisfac-
ton of KNOWN that it is there.
hold that to tell friend OF his fault,
is Cor should be so considered) the
greatest kindness one can bestow
Yes, Sir, people are queer animals.
At last. by golly, | have Learned.
the correct way to- pronounce the
word golf Yes, sir. They say
there is no Il" in it. Well, all |
have to remark is that there was
quite some ell in the game |
PLAYED.
And 10, voice from Wyoming
crying send The Times" All right,
Billie. If the Times don't reach you
promptly each week let me know and
go 10 the office and kick the
devil out of it. = | appreciate your i,r
v1tation to come out and 60 shootin'
with you. | would be on familiar
ground and l love the big, wide west.
But it's quite some distance to walk
and the financial exchequer bein
sadly depleted on account of taxes
|and some other foolishness) ! will
not be able to come until | marker
he garden truck which | hope to
produce this season. Now, Billie. dc,
,e careful and don't get "overhet"
Var Over, The" Quit Wives -
Headline. This has referred to the
'lackers who married in order to
wade the war. 1t would be adding
INSULT to injury to say Il told you
n h,,f u,,11 81, I i |
| former article that the most con-
emptib!e thing knew anything
bout was man who would adopt
uch plan unless it was woman
Who would marry such man.
Verify hath the preacher wisely
aid. Vanity, vanity, verify all is
'anity.' which leads me to remark
is foolish to be top cutter in the
rmy when you can be conscien-
ious objector in the ranks.
shore must hand it to Hoover.
lie s-a man of great renown:
But if he wants to keep his reputa-
ton up
led better bring the prices down.
A party came to ME once Tone of ,
hose sanctified peeping Toms, he
ias) and said to me, Jim, have you
nv enemies?" We'll, now," says |, {
taken bv and large | may say that
have the finest assortment OF that
insect ! know anything about. Ill
hore have" DO you love your en- /
mies::" he then asked me- Not 50. a
hev notice il" says |, mo not none
;hatever." But" said he, (the pious f
raudD we are commanded to love '
ur enemies" $50 I've been told" t
avs |. but what sort of preachin' I
ont appeal to me, none to speak of. v
instead of lovin' and prayin' for EN-
just act plumb honest by EN-"
How. now says he. Co." says !, h
! just tell 'em of a place that is v
retty densely populated (alsc h
Doken of in the Bible) inhabited ex- @
|usively by their breed and tell 'em v
} go there. uhm-yes."
| notice that the Chicago police a
ave shot the perfumed burglar. The a
office didn't state whether he was o
not for wearin' cheap perfume or
" fat;n' oronertv which d;du'+ he =,