The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1919-04-08
TRIBUTE TO
MRS WOOD and
HER tai En- IS
eY oiLFiLLAN SCOTT.

|
Mrs. Herbert Wood. tho little church.
champion. IL up to her tricks again.
Churches have become positively
''skeereds to admit they have debt
hanging around anywhere within
reach. for she Il sure to grab Il.
Debt grabbing IL Mrs.. Woods pet
hobby. and Pensacola business men
reach for their check oks and mem
tally calculate the extreme limit Of
their banking accounts when they see
her coming.
Indignation and determination and
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES In that order, and
short order to. are Invariably assoc
ciated with any church debt Mrs.
Wood gets . strange hold on. Stand
and deliver or sit and deliver. its all
one to her 30 long az It spells deliv-
erance.
Those who love their money ana
those who have buttons or stitches
liable to give way are warned to keep
away from the First Christian church
tonight: for Mrs. Wood. the irrepress-
ibie. has discovered little trumpery
item Of sixty dollars or no which she
refuses to permit kindly 9uarantors to
pay out OF their own pockets. Il isn't
fair. abe. says. to allow perfectly splen-
did workers. who got together and
raised five thousand dollars which t.ss-
ablod the church to burn its mortgage.
to dig Town into their own pockets 70.
this unforeseen sixty dollar balances.
OF course. It Is all practically over
but the collection. and Mrs. Wood viii
see to that!
What has she done this time?
Well. Mrs. Wood believes In laugh
ter.
Did you never hear Mrs. Wood
laugh?
Why. where have You been shutting
yourself up?
For years and wears. winter after
winter. Mr.. and Mrs. Herbert Wood
have come from their home IN Gales
burg. Illinois, where Mr.. Wood 10 q
(. bank president. to spend several
months In Pensacola. their chosen re-
fuge from northern blizxards. and
every visit has meant Joy and deliv-
eratce from church debts through Mrs.
i Woods energy. enthusiasm and artistic
ability on the platform az reader.
And now the little wizard OF church
finance has entered into contract
which viii bring disaster to- buttons.
strings, stitches (including stitches n
the side). safety pins. purses and pock-
/ ethooks.
Lao A. Waters. the side-splittlng
comedian. has been roped In by Mrs.
Wood and will positively appear to-
might at the First Christian church.
When Leo sets foot on platform
J good bye to long faces land long
purses). Two minutes Inter you'll be
family whispering give me air. give
me air" but the Waters VIII close over
you amidst buildings and gurglinzs
and screams Of laughter for Leo A.
Waters doesn't know what mercy Is
once he gets started.
You will laugh only once. Just once.
mind you, and that VIII be all the tvnc.
Why, this Leo Is the son OF the comedy
King Waters, the man who has made
millions laugh land cost millions for
new buttons and strings.)
Tho anti-corset league went onts IT
business when Leo A. began. Tight
iacing jnrt naturally exploded. Laugh
ter killed 1t.
| Anything tight Is bound to give
way (inc,uding tightwads) unde-
such pressure.
Nervous people or enamelled people
liable to crack or need an ambulance
are advised to stay away tonight and
read F,cx's Book Of Martyrs