Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1919-04-10
Eagle Giggles When
Bill Jazzbo Returns
Laden With Medals He
Gets Cheers Instead
of job.
ny ARTHUR ,BuGs, uAEn.
When the euClc sisglcd.

{, q =
When the eagle screamed in 1917.
Bin Jazzbo was stakcd TO a junior
partnership in the walking department
OF Uncle Sans overseas circus. lie
was out TO make the works safe for
democracy and homo guards Sill
padded his dogs down Fifth Avenue
between two rows of cheering cue
koos who could not hear tho eagle
chirp unless it was or a dollar bill.
From his corns TO his army haircut.
Bill was dolled up in the regulation
-. -. pedestrian ;rousseau lie wore
and totcd trench piano and acccs
series on his spine piece.
Bill Weighed about ,92 rounds
which us pounds were Fill The rest
was, furnishings. Something. like u
steak en- casserolc. Sill didn't know
their life Insurance. that they pinned
the load on his back. This made Bill
look like a sandwich man for hard
ware factory.
About this time Jerry figured that
he had blouscful and took it on the
old home plate. Bill had one hippcr
that guy can conveniently spare. lie
had been laid up with ptomainc poison
ing. from biting a jerry in the neck
medal pieces. Bill wasn't vicious bu,
anything was a change from the .. II.
army beans.
In order 10 save Bits thumb the
army surgeon had amputated his little
hnEer at the elbow, but Bill figured
TO hold his job down When he again
parked his hobspikcd dogs on tho star
spanglcd real estate OF fonkers and
vicinity. The eagle had screamed with
corus by the entire company and Bill
was coming home.
StiII Screaming.
Coming UP the bay hUrd of tug
boats whistlcd in eight colors and pink
and Bill got his first eastern cyefuI Of
the Statue Of Liberty with her face
places New Jersey in rather Il peculiar
position. Tho same cukoos who had
ch che, re- Bin las, Fast, were there to cheer
ed him and dined him and checrcd
him. Bill was wondering about his old
job but nobody could stop cheering
stuck up a big triumphal arch made OF
some transient material like toothpasto
Avenue with so many medals on his
vest that he locked like Nylophonc.
Everybody cheercd themselves dizzy.
but Bill couldn't figure where things
down the avenue two years ago. They
we're s,ill doing the cheering and he
was still doing the walking.
Jobbcd out OF the Old Job.
When the parade was cured. they
mustered Bill on, and slipped him
enough kale to take him home. pro-
nickel away. Bill walked UP the old
street, and life was just one cheer
after another, with another cheer in
between, He asked traffic cop tho
way TO his old building, and the cop
gave him three cheers, but no dircc-
lions.
Bill figured you couldn't get fat OF
cheers until some bird invented a
n GTI al hay
finally dug UP the old building and
walked up thirty-six flights OF stars
as the elevator boy was out cheering
4 parade when he fat-wheclcd into
tho office, the boss got up on tho mcz-
canine foor OF his desk and checred
Bill dizzy.
Enl buzzed him about his old Job.
but tho boss was too busy cheering
lin 10 answer. Bill looked over at
his old desk and piped some button
eyed, ham backed cuckoo swivelling
around in his old swivel chair
shed. Specs After Exemption.
Bill didn't recognize this bird at first
because the last time he spotted this
n .edlcnosed bird nc had seven sets
look thoroughly EXEMPT. When the
shedding his specs. but kept just
Pill tried 70 ask for his old job back
bui al! The boss would give him was
~ tSS iH "aH sun screaming, but
Eili vas wishing he would stop the
Caruso stun and lay a few eggs
Aiter the Office force had chcercd on
ne "aE. BIZ popped into 2is other Of
fees. but all he got was a completed
set ~ cheers.
Bill hoofed {, down Firth Avenue.
pCNnH IKE z mule trying TO do n
Square he piped the game toothpast e
arch ~ triumph that he had waddlcd
under a short time ago. on the top
~
tnachn eagles.
Ell had made the world safe for
ever? body but himself. He looked UP
~ 'hc screaming eagles and squawEed:
10" about canning this cheering
Junk and clipping me d job? You
Eno" that Il bum Is bum even II lac
IS Il hero"
That was when the eagle giggicd