The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1919-05-13
An Intcrnission
for Trouble
(Copyright.)
n
ny w. s. ROGERS

Line genIie East may De genlle 10
them that understand it, but I'll take
my peace and quietude on the back of
an Arizona cyclone and be satisfied
with that. No East for me. It's en-
tirely too strenuous.
SIT was in New Jersey, and 1 was
waiting for a train. had surplus
time on my hands amounting to three
hours, and not being restricted with
remorse or anything, thought I'd nat
urally move around through some Of
the jay precincts next adjacent, and
see what there was, if anything, COM
ing to me.
$50 I rummaged up long village
street, making sinuous reflections and
studying the outlook, till came after
q while to q tobacco establishments
layout, you know, where they had mag
azines to sell in the window and lot
of disastrous truck for effete people
with weak teeth; and went in and
spoke with the young-looking gazelle
In charge Of these preparations, and
asked him for something injurious but
smokable, and all the latest news.
"'Shake hands with a sympathizer,'
says l. DO you live in New Jersey all
the time? If So
"'Say,' he says, as if it was bright
inspiration that had just come in to
him from the shores of nowhere in
particular, If you haven't got anything
useful to attend to right away, maybe
you wouldn't mind holding down this
diversion here for a minute or two
while I go out and see to something.
Would you favor man like that? he
says.
"Well, it sounded reasonable, and
couldn't freely object right off quick
to such a thing as that. I only asked
him If he didn't think it might be I'M
lawful to trust perfect stranger with
a fifty-dollar outfit on such short no.
tice.
"'Well, all right, Willyr l says. 4
didn't come East looking for impromp-
tn adventures like this, but of course
I'm not going to throw down a nice
looking young man like you just from
bashfulness and unknown scruples. So
hit the warpath whenever you're
ready / says, and I'll stay behind,
and keep perfect order for YOU
$50 he went, and 1 was left there
all alone with that messy little cargo
Of misplaced confidence in the amateur
pipe and tobacco line. And / wasn't
especially afraid of it nor puffed all
up with rapture on account of the way
1 was suddenly getting on in the world.
"But then, pretty soon it got different
and lantern-jawed cuss in white
vest and gold-trimmed nose pinchers,
wearing considerable of a big brown
looking trunk that they call grip, was
responsible for it. 1t was him that
started things, and says he:
"Tm the collector
81 didn't seem to know much about
such a thing.
"'You areY I says. What's that2
/ never heard of you. What do you
make speciality of collectingT says L.
"Well, he didn't approve of that way
of coming back at all.
"Don't monkeyp says he. Amt
your accounts readyT
'Accounts?' says l. 7 don't think
so. This is too sudden. / don't seem
to remember you at all. What did you
say your particular line was?' I says.
THAT man begun to Jerk himself
around and look irritated.
"Tm not here for conversation he
says, but money. Pony up he says,
and be a little soon about 1t, toop
"'You'rs a trifie overheated, amt
your says I. Or applying to the
wrong address2 Hadn't you better
take mild cigar and walk down the
street and try to forget it?'
But he wouldn't.
"Tm after the money! he snorts
up. The money! Don't you know
what that Is? If you don't I'll spell
1t. Pm after the weekly money he
says.
"'Oh, the weekly money! 1 says.
7 hope you'll excuse me, but it's little
too premature and unexpected. I'll
have to think some before 1 can ac-
commodate you. Would you mind TAX
ing a chair for a few minutes while
we both refiect1'
"But he wouldn't do that, either
"He glared at me for about second,
and then he broke loose.
"sHell?' he says. I can't deal with
lunatics. Get out of here! I'll close
this damn place upp he says.
II thought he must be pretty badly
afflicted by that time, and when he
give me a shove by the shoulder and
was going to throw me out in the
street, it seemed to me he showed en-
tirely too much self-confidence for a
newcomer and%acouldn't put up with
1t.
IT couldn't quite catch myself cater
ing to any such stranger-than-fictio
little arrangement so sudden. So
picked up that Pinchers by the collar
and the seat of his trousers and waltz
ed him back to the hind end of our
studio, where there was a branch Of
fee, a poker booth or something, and
chucked him out of sight and locked
the door.
II hadn't scarcely turned around
with my face to the street before an
other grievance came romping ina
gray-haired party in a sack coat, bris-
ting all over with dangerous-looking
symptoms and swinging a big cane
HE came like an earthquake, ant
he met me half way. making jabs a
the air with his elbows, humping the
floor and dancing around there like {
warm hen with its head off.
'Scoundrelp he says. Where's
my daughterY
"That was what he wanted to know
where was his daughter?
"'Well, holy smoker l says. 'Art
the Jersey lunacy mills broke outT
tried to make room for him, but h,
wouldn't have it. He ranted after m,
and shook his supply Of furniture pref
nose.
I'm here in time! he says. Tn
glad I'm here in time. Wretchr h
says. Where is sher
"'Ex-cuse me, please l says.
never knew you had a daughter. Tn
just a peaceable-
Hah-hr he says. is she il
thereT He heard the Pinchers max
ing fracas with the door panel, AM
1t walked up his susceptibilities AM
gave him a clew.
"'Villain = he says. Release her
And he bolted back like a cyclone t
! the scene of the music.
/ 81 couldn't stop him, and 1 didn'
d try to. He just rushed back and grab
bed at things. The key was in tn
lock and he give it twist and threN
the door open and fell in.
tGT xroc about siv inchpC hnhind hir