El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-07-26
Take YourVacationByProxy
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The Herald Shows You HotO
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Ant-KiIIing Hints Are CiUen

away with the rest OF the bottled
goods, and the only bait man can
take a-fishing bow Is worms
MORE persons this year are taking
wi Vacations than ever before. The
{ fishing streams are 50 crowded with
fishermen a man must needs have 4
double width line to be able to get
his hook in edgeways In the streams
In view of lhis fact, The Herald has
designed n plan whereby persons Of
refinement RAY take their vacations
without suffering the Inconvenience
attendant on rcughins It in the wet
Wild WOODS.
Read on-the scheme follows:
Are you busy? Are you simply
rushed 70 death, with hardly time to
take your stenographer to the theater
and your wife to breakfast?
Does your heart jump seven differ
ent ways every time you look at the
clockz Are you n@rvous2
Are you, In short. wondering how IN
the name OF the seven mystic wells you
are going to find an opportunity this
year to take your vacation2
Aha, something signifies that the
subject is Interested
1 PM we'll II your ArAeuua look At
YOU sadly and remark. soto voee,
poor John, he really needs n vaea-
fiOn." Perk up. The answer Is here.
II you simply must take a vacation
take Il.
II you are too busy TO take II your
self, have your manStake Il for You. II
VOC can't spare your man, spare your
hired hand, or your second best chauf-
feur, or someone, but for heavens
sake. ease your mind about this vaea-
ton worry.
II you have no hired man or second
best chauffeur, look over your office
personnel. Have your secretary do the
dirty work. You never liked him any
way. Let him go out into the wilder
ness and tan himself and get mo-
squitO bitten and hay feVered. Let
him drink the coffee they serve At
those vacation resorts.
Or. II your secretary Is a good scout,
surely you have some poor but de-
serving relative.
IN taking ones vacation BY broxy
l however. great care should be ex-
ercised IN pointing out to ones repre-
sentative ones personal wishes in the
matter.
Tell him exactly what kind Of vaca-
ton you wish
The mountains are enjoyable. but
so are many other places The beaches
are exciting the waves are so Wild
Suit yourself about this matter. but
impress upon your man that he should
follow your wishes to the finest de-
tail Don't let your friends have oc-
casion to say; There's old John
Smiths vacation man eating pie with
a knife"
Outline carefully 10 him your choice
In camping spots. beverages, under
wear, whether you refer e smell hook
No. to a No. 10. whether your taste
In bathing suits runs to salmon pink
DIT Irish emerald Be explicit
And then let George do it Give
him the time tables and the suit cases
and your golf sticks and your hatbox.
and pat him on the back and bid him
sodspeed- Then settle back IN comfort.
turn on the cold water. ill the bath
Tub full OF ice. turn on the electric
ian, and with your favorite book
under your nose, enjoy yourself
IF you have trouble in finding a man I
to take your vacation. don't stop
there. II a man refuses. brfbe him /
II he still holds out, threaten leaving /
him out OF your viii Coerce him. It |
nay be difficult. but IN the end it viii I
be worth It
Think OF the poor devils who have
70 take their own vacationsi Think !