Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-12-04
THE GOWNSMAN

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The Case Of optlmus Against Pesslnus
THE Gownsman has two friends with each
of whom he gets on exceedingly well,
according to his mood, and can he but con
trive to Keep them apart; together they fight
like cats and dogs, or, better, like the far
famed toms of Kilkenny, who, hung over a
clotheslinc, clawed each other until there
was not tail to tell. NJ. Pejor Pessimus,
Esq, comes of very ancient family, al
though it is not at all certain that any Of
his people have ever been truly gentle. 1t
is said that the founder of his race crept,
into Paradise on his belly and did not like it
when he got in. Progcnitors Of Pcssimus
were unquestionably on the first cabih pas
senger list of the Mayfower, against the
food and accommodations of which they
lodged a determined protest and complaint
as soon as they reached Boston.
TTNHE present Pejor Pessmus is man past
- middle life in whom regret for youth
which could never have been pleasant, has
hardened into general grudge against man
kind Pessimus is nothing If he is not right
Indeed he has never known himself TO be
in the wrong 1t was JOY to see him, when
ne was IN the army, step out, the only man
in the company who was keeping step, the
rest marching unitedy wrong. SO, in opn-
ion, Pessimus deplores the perversities of
majorities, the tenacity with which men per-
sist in holding to ideas so different from his
own-in short, the general trend of things
straight to the pit of Tophet, according to
him the destined abiding place of the maj jor-
ity of mankind.
D MELIOR OPTIMUS, the Gownsman's
- other friend, is in great contrast He
is broad in his chest, in his notions and in
his humor. He makes no pretenses to any
unusual cleverness, to any peculiar powers
of divinaton in the affairs of men or of
nations. and he laughs at the Mayfower
stories of the Pessimuses. declaring that his
ancestors were atioat earlier than that, with
Noah in the ark, and that they were not of
the number of the beasts contained therein.
1t was Optimus who first told the cheerful
story of his researches after family tree;
how ne had at last found stick of wood
standing upright with a single branch
extending at right angles from it, from the
. end of which latter there dangled q moose of
excellent twisted hemp; "at which point,
sir he laughed, Il discontinued my genoa
logical Investigations.
nPTlMUS is no very sound theologian.
~ He refuses to believe that the heart of
man is desperately wicked. He is wretched
politician, and seems actually to think that
politics should be pursued as n means to
great ends. and not as everybody knows
that profession of artful lodging is pursued
as an end-a very bitter end-in itself
Optimus is a pretty poor patriot. He act
ually thinks that the United States Senate
has something to learn from the effete states
men of Europe! And he maintains a strong
in ind i,, A.
the senior senator from Massachusetts is
not the one and only man, howbeit he has
been singled out by Providence-or, rather
by the Providence Journal--to make a Bos-
ton Transcript of the decalogue whereby
perishing world may be saved The Gowns
man fears that his friend, Optimus, is guilty
of that unforgivable sin, a willingness TO
change his mind, of that weakness of char
acter which makes it possible for him at
times to see the other side of an argument
and even acknowledge himself convinced.
Moreover, Optimus is the avowed champion
of the underdog-that creature that ought TO
be chewcd up and scattered in gobbets. The
reader must see by this time what n wcak
and unstable person b. Melor Optimus is
Judged by the best provincial and parochial
standards.
Nov, the Gownsman confesses with sor-
" row that he has neither the steadfast
certainty, the sustaining impeccabiity, of
his old friend PessimuS, nor can he so
habitually discern the silver lining which
backs up the blacklist cloud according to Bill
Melior. who sees riffs invisible to anv one
except an inveterate optimist But. after
all, which of the two extremes is going to
get us anywhere? Doubtless, the greater
part of humanity deserves hearty damna
ton This is sound theology; not kind but
of kind. But why endure a punishment
so certain to our deserts, in anticipation
before it comes? And why be led by Mai
Pessmus into the slough. or rather the
trench, of despond? Billy Meior is the man
for the Gownsmans money-lttle as he has
of it. For Bill it is who faces the music
accepts facts works for ideals and wripes
something besides his hands.
CTICKING in the mud is less a question Of
~ your motor than of the determination of
the man at the wheel. 1t is a hard thing
to down an optimist. Neither the war with
its negation of half the old facile platitudes
which we have always accepted. nor tbe
refusal of that part of the world. which
suffers still from arrested DEVELOPMENT. IN
accept the lessons Of the war, can daunt
the optimists courage. 1t is hard for
decent people, which recognizes moral obE
cations, to accept as facts the existence of
dozen or more personages who talk much at
Washington and maneuver more. In time
to come, as Bagehot once put it, it will
only go to show how great is the strength of
historical evidence that some logician will not
be able to prove that there amt and never
was such creatures" But, harder even than
this is it to stand as an American. bumili-
ated before the world that had trusted us
with autocracy leering at our breakdown in
popular government and the Bolsheyists ON
tiptoe to fit on dead democracy the scarlet
winding sheet of the soviet And vet, let us
stick to our Optimus, who is more numerous