Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-07-26
Little Talks by
Bedtr FdHfar

The other day a mother with two
grown daughters told me some
thing of the family history.
My older daughter seems con-
tented" she said, cautiously. She
has a tiny house in the suburbs and
four children. Her husband makes
very little money, but for some rea-
son they don't seem to mind. They
say they have happy times together.
and 1 suppose they get used to
doing without things.
But my younger daughter" she
went on, with evident satisfaction.
married we'll. Her husband is an
automobile manufacturer, and he
can give her anything she wants.
She hasn't any children, but she
has every conceivable luxury. No.
she hasn't ever told me she is
happy, but of course she must be. -
Ever so many young girls, l find,
even in this emancipated day, still
cherish the ancient notion of
marrying we'll" that this mother
expressed. And who can blame
them, when their mothers so care
fully inculcate it, when it's part
of the very air they breathe from
their earliest infancy?
We all know, of course, what it
means to marry we'll" 1t means
to marry a man with money. And
that is, of course. rather shocking,
when it's stated plainly.
Why should a mother be proud
of a daughter merely because she
has happened to attract a rich man,
no matter what that rich man may
be? Why should a mother apollo
gize for a daughter whose husband
t, I,t
the girl has found love and con-
tentment?
We all understand, of course, how
the idea Of marrying we'll" came
into vogue. There was a day, and
your grandmother can remember ii,
when there was no question of a
girls supporting herself. Still, she
had to be supported by somebody:
And especially if there were several
of her. this had a way of exhausting
the parental purse.
So parents cultivated foresight.
They formed the habit of looking
about for young men who could
support their daughters. They were
perfectly conscientious about it. 1t
seemed the best service they could
render their offspring-this marry
ing them off to somebody who
could guarantee comfortable per-
manent income.
Feathering Ones Own Nest
This system rather fell to pieces,
of course, as soon as girls learned
how to support themselves, and to
control their own lives. Sensible
girls no longer married because
they wanted "a home of their own"
or because a young mans pros
poets" were such-and-such. but be-
cause they fell in love and desired
the happiness of a life-comrade.
But even though times have so
radically changed, even though wo-
men are immeasurably freer than
they used to be, there are still
parents who repeat the outworn
formula, and who subtly and indi-
rectly, or perhaps even openly, en-
courage a girl to make a mercen-
ary choice. They teach her that
If she is once well established"
she can command worldly respect,
she can achieve social power, she
can not only have" everything, but
get" anywhere.
I am afraid that some of the
girls who write to me have heard
this sort of teaching.
So l would like to convince them
that it's extremely fashioned.
entirely out-of-date, the most bar
barous sort of survival.
A girl who falls in love with a
normal, wholesome young man
who loves her and who shares her
tastes to a sufficient extent mar
ries WE'LL" if she becomes his wife.
Truly, I don't know what else
she need consider.
Money Doesn't Count
If a married pair achieve happi-
ness, the possession of money will
scarcely affect their contentment,
one way or the other. And If they
are not happy. everybody knows
that money won't make them so.
Money, then. ought to be the last
thing considered. rather than the
first, in choosing ones self-partner.
Do you really enjoy being with