The weekly Alaska citizen., 1919-09-01


 along with him. Not that there is any connection whatever between bridge and automobles-of course there isn't But because l played the game and was quite frequently his partner it so happened that after a monday rubber 1 was invited to aid hlnl in the selection of a car.
 Inasmuch as l knew nothing at all about automobiles, excepting that l could tell Ford when l saw it, could not, of course, be accused of prejudice in favor of or against any particular breed. This qualification coupled with the fact that l was a desirable bridge partner, made me therefore an ideal assistant in the purchase of an automobile.
 It took us a week to determine up, on the car my friend wanted. During that time We rode around town in nearly every make of car that sold anywhere between $l,500 and $3 1000. And the last car 1 rode in was al .,dys the car that l wanted my friend to buy.
 But Il was his money and he was going to be sure about it before he let go.
 And then, again, l believed every thing every salesman told us and he didn't believe anything they told us. By the end of the week they had him so that he wasn't sure there was a good car in the world. Every car on the market had been "knocked"' so consistently and earnestly that l had a feeling my friend was in constant aiate of surprise because cars con tnued to pass him on the street with out breaking down right in front of him.
 Anyway ne finally chose one that cost him somewhere in the neighbOr- hood of $1,S0O. Then he discovered that he really hadn't bought all of the car. It was like having a newborn in fant left on your doorstep in nothing but it's swaddling clothes. It had to be dressed Everything that went with the car in order that one should not be ashamed of it was an accessory, : and all cost money So that the eigh- tecn-hundred-dolla car became a ? 100 car.
 And will say for the car he bought that after it had been fully attired in speedometels and searchlights and clocks and extra tires and bumpers and various other things that it really looked like $2,100. But I don't think my friend was ever thoroly satisfied with it. He used to ihark back to what opposition salesmen told him about it and recall the good points about other cars, and then worry until he happened to see one of the other cars broken down on the side of the road and with lot of it's internals drag ged out and lying on the grass or in the dust. Then he would cheer up and be satisfied. And then another car would pass him on a hill and he would hate his car again and be sorry he hadn't bought the other one. When it came my time to buy car remembered my friend. 1 made up my mind that l wasn't going to ride around with any salesman because knew if a real good salesman ever got hold of me I'd buy his car whether liked it or not.
 determined, therefore, to get list of the cars that sold at about the price wanted to pay and then select the best-looking one and let it go at that. l assumed that all reputable automobile makers made the best car they could for the money and that they all figured that a satisfied GUS toner was an asset and dissatisfied customer liability. And, too, l had never heard of car that hadn't been most earnestly knocked and most earnestly praised.
 At the first salesroom l was waited upon by most obliging gentleman. asked him not to tell me anything about his car or about any other car. l assured him that l had no desire 10 look beneath the hood of the car or to have him discuss the engine with me.
 assumed, I said, that there was an engine under the hood and that it was the intention of the maker to so con struci the engine that it would run.
 Also, I took it for granted that if the car had any weak points he wouldn't tell me about them. Having quieted the salesman I thereupon sat at the driving wheel of the car of the type 1 wanted and discovered that could reach all of the little handles that came up thru the floor and that, at that time, I knew nothing at all about. Then I sat in the rear seat of the car just to see if 1t was comfort able, and it was. also tried one of the two little extra seats that hide themselves away when you don't need