davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
sHnApD on THE STREET.
ny White River Junction Lanamaris
Mani


(By White River Junction Landmark
Mani
That all cattle do not have horns.
That 10 far the baseball people have
failed to enthuse over the good beins
Done the crops by the rain.
Fhat the SOAP boz orators are also re-.
minaea that people sometimes get their
mouths open 80 far that the jaws Won't
shut.
Inat the small boy has made UP his
MIND that when he gets to Congress he
VIII repeal this odious and tTsnnioal
tax on leo cream cones.
Tnat the fact that the boys can 60
mo tho old swimming hole does not
prove they could tako Saturday night
paths at home without getting cold.
That ut present prices the consumer
numbly walks up to tho meat market
and timidly asks for n small quantity OF
tho Kind Of meat he used to buy for cat
food.
That reading that a stained glass win
dow fell and killed a worshipper at
Trenton. N. j., many men will probably
conclude that It 10 dangerous to attend
church.
That 1t is pretty hard for boys to pre-
serve their faith In the world and hu-
man nature. when invited by mother to
spend Saturday morning beating the
parlor rug.
That having caught the Bolshevist
spirit, the school children will soon rise
and demand that no one over twelve
years Of age be permitted to vote or
school questions.
That the internal revenue bureau DID
much celebrating before deciding tina,
corsets are underwear. Do some Of the
women wear EN- outside where the bu-
reau people live?
That the incoming Congress was
greeted by a large number Of patriots
who. at great personal loss. have de-
cided that they are willing to take posi-.
tons in the government service.
That the high cost of house construc.
ton discourages home ownership and,
anyway, the boy who supplies the
drinking water to the builders should
never be paid more than IS for a six
hour day.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
A VERMONT RASCAL
CBy Daniel l.. Cady)

10Y Ddnlel Il. CdOyD
Most every town has got. I guess,
chronic case of wickedness,
Some scout to whom no sheep belong
Who smells of mutton mighty strong;
Who, minus COW and apple trees.
Enjoys his cider with his cheese;
gray old rat, with income slim.
Yet outwardly 1t does for him;
OF course, if he should break his leg
He'd have to sue the town or beg.
He drives a horse that's adder blind
And never has her shod behind;
He teams little-more or less,
With that old long low-seat express,
The tailboard marks on which are
thought
By most to mean a charge Of shot;
He's been a-met past midnight twice
On Cobble Hill by Doctor Price;
The night the butcher shop was burnt
He want to home. the sheriff learnt
His wifes the kind that likes to shine,
And would II she was yourn or mine;
She likely comes from down below
And likely dressmaked years ago;
Her snow-white hair. black silk and veil
Are all that keeps him out OF Jail;
L
For church. he grabs his pole and starts
To fish up Barret's brook, and then
Down Story's brook a-home again.
The boy that builds a dam and gets
A pair of pretty trout for PETS
Some summer morning wipes his eye
For old Bill Boyd has seen 'em fry;
The day you put away your meat
He's round a-looking sharp and sweet
Your new potates however new.
He's sure to taste ahead Of you;
You've got to watch your butnut trees
The very night there comes a freeze
No fowl will ever roost in peace
Till Bits dishonest breath shall cease /;
No corncrib door will rest content
Till Bits suspicious life is spent;
All piggery pens will feel chill
Till excavation tackles Bill
The only comfort folks can draw
From this old life opposed to law
Is, that it may be counted on
He'll have no gravestone when he's gone
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
THE STORY TELLER
ORDERS is ORDERS

Strict orders had been given at chill
drens masquerade In Auckland that no
adults wete to be permitted 70 enter.
Everything went well until an excited
woman appeared and demanded admit
tanee.
mo adults. ma'am," said the con-
stable. You can't go In"
But must go In" persisted the worn
an MY little girl Ii taking the part OF
a butterfly and she's gone without her
wings"
The constable wrinkled his forehead
ana tried to think II any official reEula-
ton covered q case like that.
ORDERS ID orders. ma'am," he said at
last. we'll have to let your little girl
60 on as q caterpillar. "-Boston Trans
cript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

situation like this the consumers of meat
products In Vermont and elsewhere in
the United States have been able to use
substitutes and force the packers as.
ISOLATION to take heroic measures BY
reducing prices is reassuring The con.
sumers have thus done what could not
be accomplished by legislation, namely
they have brought the beef barons tc
terms. The lesson ought not to be los,
In the future.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
sALTING NEWBORN BABIES
(F'rom the Detroit News)

The strange custom Of sailing neI
born babies is still practiced in certa
regions of Europe and Asia. r
method varies with the differing n
tionalities Of the peoples employing
The Armenians of Russia cover I
entire skin Of the infant with very A
salt. This is left on the baby for thr
hours or more. when It is washed
with warm water.
A mountain tribe Of Asia Minor a
even more peculiar in this regard tn
the Armenians, for they are alleged
keep newborn babies covered with 8:
for period Of twenty-four hours. T
modern Greeks also sprinkle their babi
with salt. The mothers imagine tn
this practice brings health and strens
to their offspring and serves to Ike
away the evil spirits as we'll.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
WORLDS LARGEST GRAPEVINE
(From the Detroit News)

H'ohi tie iIctIoIl NeWSJ
Near the Old Catholic Mission
Santa Barbara, in California, there is q
enormous grapevine, said to be Il
largest in the world. The vine Is Of Il
Mission grave variety and was plant<
by the FRANCISCAN monks more than I
years ago.
From this single vine from ten
eleven tons Of delicious black grapes a
obtained annually. For many years pa
l2o gallons of wine have been made fro
it's fruit. The leaves and branch
spread over an acre Of lis square fee
while 1t is eight feet in circumference
it's largest part.
The vine really consists Of two part
which have encircled each other as the
grew. forming a spiral The immen'
size of the branches requires a hea,
framework Of timber to support ther
The vine affords shade for more than !
people when seated below it.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
ABSENT-MINDED

Mrs. Wnite-My husband is so absen
minded that I'm beginning to worry abor
him.
Mrs. Brown-It isn't as bad as all thai
II it?
Mrs. White-Yes. indeed. Why, just no
he thought he'd left his watch at hom|
and pulled 1t out TO see II he had tim|
to go and fetch it.-Galveston Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
DECAY OF MOURNING WEAR

Nothing is more remarkable in our
social life at this time than the rar-
ity OF conventional mourning. says
the London Daily Chronicle. There are
millions of bereaved people in these
Islands. yet 1t is uncommon 10 en-
counter anybody who wears the TRAP
pings and the suits OF woe we nave
found juster way of showing re-
spect for the dead than by changing
the hue of our clothes. only AZ the
two extremes. east and west VIII you
now discover woman wearing
widows weeds"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
WALDO'S LEARNING =

Mother~You have been naughty Waldo.
I hope you know what / mean when /
say you have been naughty.
Little Waldo-Yes. mother. My knowl-
edge Of philology tells me that naughty
is the diminutive of naught. Meaning.
therefore that you are about to punish
me for less than nothing.-Boston Globe.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE
ON TO HER STRATEGY

Great spring bargains" remarked
Mrs. Subbubs, porting over the Sunday
paper II shall drive into town o-mor-
row and"
Il see, and your drive will be fol
lowed by a counter attack" said her
recently demobilzed husband.-Boston
Transcript
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
NO PLACE FOR HIM

II saw you at the moving picture show
last evening" said the fat plumber. but
when I looked for you little later
missed you." Eyes, I got up and went
home" when was thatT IT left when
the villain began to lay a snare for the
wife Of the man who had to stay at his
Office on account of business" Didn't
you see any more Of the picture7" NO.
"And you left at the most interesting
part?" Yes" "Why?" I knew II
things kept on as they were headed there
would be a fuss pretty soon between
the two men, or between the man and
his wife, and 1 made up my mind
wouldn't be mixed up in anybody's do
mestic troubles. "-Youngstown Telegram
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
A BALKAN STORY

Prof. Give Day Of Yale, a specialist on
the Balkans, said in a recent interview
There Is a Balkan story in praise of
cleanliness. The scene Is brigands
camp. That brigand there said a
brigand. pointing his knife at a young
Turkish captive, he combs his whiskers
every morning. I don't see how the
fellow stands it. Why, only comb my
whiskers once a month, and then il
nearly pulls my chin or "-Watertown
Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
TOO MUCH LEISURE

A farmland who had worked every day
in the week from dawn till late at night.
finishing the chores by lantern light.
went to the farmer at the end Of the
month: I'm going to quit. You prom
ised me a steady job Of work" well
haven't you got one?" was the aston
ished reply. NO." said the worker.
There are three or four hours every
night I don't have anything to do ex-
cept fool away my time by sleeping."-
Buffalo Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
THE PHILOSOPHER

why. it is hardly dark yet, Sister
Johnson" supposedly said the presiding
elder. you do not mean to tell me that
your husband has retired already? Sure
ly, he is not ill?"
NO" replied Mrs. Gap Johnson, Of
Rumpus Ridge. Ark. But he lowed
that as long as he had to go to bed
some time or ruther he might Just as
we'll go now."-Judge.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
A BETTER FIT

Toastmaster latter the dinner)-I beg
your pardon, doctor, for introducing you
inadvertently as professor.
Doctor-That's all right. The title fits
me better than doctor" does / profess
to be doctor. but get mighty little prac-
tice-Boston Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
PART OF THE GAME

Goodness. Doris" exclaimed the
mother, why are you shouting in that
horrible way? Why can't you be quiet
like Wirlief''
ITS a part OF the game we are play
ing for him to be quiet" explained the
little girl. You see. he is papa coming
home late and I am you."-Dallas Morn
ing News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
THRIFTY LAD

The other day boy went to the pro.
vision store and asked for half a dozen
black hen eggs"
The grocer laughed. Eggs from a
black hen!' he said. How can you tell
them, my little MANI"
II can. My mother told me how"
We'll, here you are. Let me see you
pick them from the crate
The boy carefully selected the six big
gest eggs he could find. put down the
money on the counter, and said, These
are black hen eggs have taken"'-Edin-
burgh Scotsman.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
THE GEOGRAPHY CLASS, AGAIN
(From the New York World)

Persons In whose hearts there is con.
alteration for future students Of geog.
raphy must note with deep concern the
fact that military operations In the
Murmansk region have unearthed Lum.
bushki. Ostreche. Kolarari and. articu.
larly. Medvyejyagora.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
SNIP. SPELLING

II you and l and eve and eye
And yew and aye dear meD
Were all to be spelled u and 1,
How mixed up we should be!
Boston Transcript
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
HELPING OUT

Here, Binks, / wish you'd take M
garden seeds and give them to your hen
with my compliments. 1t win save then
the trouble of coming over after them.
Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
WHAT'S THE USE?

A transport carrying negro members
of labor battalion was pulling into a
French port. One big darby. leaning
over the rail. watched the harbor scenes
Spying a Frenchman fishing In little
skiff, he shouted: Hey. you French
boy! Here I come 5000 miles from
Alabama to fight for you and I find you
out fishin' Where do you get that stuff
at ?"-Ontario Post
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
ANXIOUS

WATERFALL right, sir. all right You'll
get served in time.
Diner-Well. rush 1t. want to get
through this meal before the prices rise
again.-Boston Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
NOT ARRIVED

Churchill see my neighbor has got a
three-thousand dollar car" Gotham
where did he get it?" THE car"
mo, the three thousand dolars?" "Oh,
he hasn't got that yet."-Yonkers States
man.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
AND HAVE HIS MONEY

Daughter-Marry that old Mr.. Roxley?
Why I'd die first!
Mother-Nonsense. child You'd outlive
MN forty years at least.-Boston Tran
script.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

Reggie had laid his very small portion
Of the world at Mariannes very small
feet, and Marianne had gently but Arm
ly said mo" Then you won't marry
me?" said Reggie, feeling very bad
about 1t. mo, a thousand times no.
said Marianne, with decision. You
needn't say mo- a thousand times" said
the rejected sutton, resentfully. I've
only asked you once!"-Pittsburs
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
FEAR

Caller-What's the matter? You lool
nervous.
Cafe Owner--I am. That's a movie
comedian at the table near the window
I'm always afraid he'll forget where he
Is and break the dishes.-Film Fun.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

The raise-the-rent landlord can count
on the dollar-an-hour carpenter to keep
his tenant from terminating the lease
and building a home of his own.-Boston
Evening Transcript.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
WANTED.

new special column of this paper. Some
bargains are offered there this week which
This paper has more than 5000 readers
every week and cent a word will reach
them all.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

Turkeys Sultan says that he wants JUS
tice for his people. That is what the
peace conference is dealing in. No trou-
BILE to show the goods-Toledo Blade.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

We wish to remark that the true in.
wardness of the League Of Nations pact
will not be satisfactorily elucidated I'M
til the graduating exercises next MONTH
Rochester Express.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

The classified columns solve a wioe
range of selling problems for you
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

pocketbook. Mo-, City Indepen-
dent.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

In this country there is coming to be too
much freedom for those who abuse 1t and
too much restraint upon those who de-
serve to be free.-Albany Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

Samuel Gompers. in the proposed posi-
ton of president emeritus of the Ameri-
can Federation of Labor. would probably
perish of biting his nails.-New York Eve
ming Sun.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

The country is anti-democratic. but not
Enthusiastically pro-republican.-S
Republican.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05
SHORT AND SHARP

| Turkeys Sultan says that he wants JUS
tice for his people. That is what the
peace conference is dealing in. No trou-
BILE to show the goods-Toledo Blade.
We wish to remark that the true in.
wardness of the League Of Nations pact
will not be satisfactorily elucidated I'M
til the graduating exercises next month";
Rochester Post-Express
Some folks solar plexus resides in their
pocketbook.-Lowry. Mo-, City Indepen-
dent.
The raise the-rent landlord can count
on the dollar-an-hour carpenter to keep
his tenant from terminating the lease
and building a home of his own.-Boston
Evening Transcript.
In this country there is coming to be too
much freedom for those who abuse 1t and
too much restraint upon those who de-
serve to be free.-Albany Journal.
Samuel Gompers. In the proposed posi-
ton of president emeritus of the Ameri-
can Federation of Labor. would probably
perish of biting his nails.-New York Eve
ming Sun.
The country is anti-democratic. but not
Enthusiastically pro-republican.-Sprin
Republican.
Where do the Huns get the idea that
the chief aim of the peace terms Is to
be popular in Germany?-Toronto Tele-
gram.
Many German citizens are no doubt
anxious to engage in some useful occu-
patton and get out Of the Hun class
Washington Star.
After the trial of the ex-Kaiser is con-
cluded Trotsky and Lenne may as we'll
be prepared to step up to the dock
Washington Star
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

Where do the Huns get the idea that
the chief aim of the peace terms Is to
be popular in Germany?-Toronto Tele-
gram.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

Many German citizens are no doubt
anxious to engage in some useful occu'
patton and get out Of the Hun" class
Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1919-06-05

After the trial of the ex-Kaiser Is con-
cluded Trotsky and Lenine may as well
be prepared to step up to the DOCK
WASHINGTON Star
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1919-04-23
Start Extensive
Road Building
NEARLY 5000 MILES OF ROADS
TO BE BUILT IN NEXT
TWO YEARS.

Although funds made available
| through federal aid only month ago
Minnesota counties are preparing to
launch at once the most extensive
road building plan in history.
They will build $500 miles of gra-
vel roads and 200 miles of paved
roads in the next two years accord
ing to reports to the state highway
departp ent.
Steam shovels are already working
in Goodhue county on the new roads
make possible by the recent appropri-
alton Of congress by which $1,000, 900
is available to Minnesota.
Trucks are busy in Pine County
carrying gravel and stone to roads
being surfaced there Similar work
is ready to start in score of other
counties within the next two weeks
Virtually every county in the state
will participate in the improvement.
Nearly all of these roads will be on
the proposed trunk highway system
work out by C. M Babcock, COM
missioner of highways. They will
form a working organization and pro-
vide an effective start in the greater
plan Of road Development which will
be made possible in two years under
the Babcock good roads amendment.
eff we succeed in getting in only rs
miles of paved roads in Minnesota this
year, we shall have made good start,
said O. L. Kipp, engineer at the state
highway department. eve shall be pre-
pairing the way for more effective
work under the Babcock amendment
by building up an: organization in all
the counties.
Next year we should be able to
build 125 miles of hard roads, and the
first year under funds from the amend
ment if it passes, we should be able to
put in ESQ or 800 miles.
IF it were not for this Federal
aid and the fact that we shall get
this work started this year, we could
not build so much the first year UNI
der the Babcock amendment. So this
road building program for Minnesota
in cumulative process. We shall
gather momentum as we go on.
Although we knew only month
ago that this 100000 would be
available, Minnesota counties rapidly
are making arrangements to meet the
fund Ivy raising an equal amount. I
think the entire fund will be match
ed by county funds"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1919-04-23
Delhi Village Is
First To Get Over
FIRST DAY IN VICTORY SALE
SHOWS THAT COUNTY WILL
TAKE FULL QUOTA
REPORTS COMING IN FAST
MORGAN, WALNUT GROVE BEL
VIEW AND MILROY ALREADY
PUT LOAN OVER.

William Duncan Jr., Chairman of the
| Redwood County Victory Loan organ
ization received reports from many
parts OF the county late Monday night
and early Tuesday morning, the re-
ports Indicating that the first day of
the Victory sale was highly successful!
land that the County would do its
share n this sale as it had in former
ones.
The first report to reach Mr.. Dun
can of complete victory was from the
village of Delhi which reported Nor
day evening that it had sold its quota
by good wide margin. D r. Nc
Quordale is the chairman of the Delhi
commil fee.
Almost at the same time that the
Delhi report was made the villages OF
Milrov, Belview, and Walnut Grove
also reported their quotas sold. Brook
vile township has reported that her
sale has already gone three hundred
dollars over the quota. Morgan village
is away over and will go across with a
big margin before the sale closes I'M
less all signs fail. Morgan township
had nearly reached the top early Tues
day morning and was sure of success
before night. Westline township with
a quota of $24, 900 had already sold
$22,500 and was still selling. The city
of Redwood Falls is doing it's share and
its allotment is apparently assured. A
few of the wealthy men of the city
have rot yet purchased their allot-
ment but there is no question but what
they will take them today, thus put
ing the city among the loyal commu-
mites of the county.
ReDorts are most encouraging and
Mr.. Duncan and his assistants arr
optimistic that the work will be entire
" done within the next few days &c :
tainly by the close of the week. Com
mittees can be saved much work ard
time by each citizens calling on their
local chairman, ascertaining his al
lotment and subscribing for it. In this
way the work may easily be finished
this week.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1919-04-23
Delhi Seniors
To Give PA,
SATURDAY EVENING APRIL 2G
is DATE SELECTED FOR "THE
FARMERETTE" TO APPEAR

The Senior Class of the Delhi high
school will present "the FarmeretteD,
a clever little play in three acts, next
Saturday evening April 26. The cast
consists of seven girls and the play
promises to be an interesting one
from many viewpoints.
Nan Wellington, the Farmerette,
throws up good job in the city when
her mother dies and comes back to
the old farTnstead to save it to the
family. Her plucky fight against in
experience, nature, human villainy and
greed provide the material from which
this interesting play is made. The IT,
tie role is played by Mable Blanchard.
The other members of the cast are
Lourene Peterson who takes the part
of Jane Wellington, Sixteen and
still unkissed; Lila Blanchard who
appears as Joselyn Wellington the lit
tie Bugologist! Lola Tibbets, as Elnora
Wellington a born homemaker; Grace
Tibbets as Mrs. Beckwith, an UNI
friendly neighbor; Florence Mckay as
Minnette Wellington Lawson, an adj
mirer of soulful eyes, and
Mildred Bunting as Gracious Ann
Bean stout middle-aged colored "pus-
son" d believer in Caicothenics" All
three scenes are laid in the sitting
room Of the Wellington homestead.
The public is invited to attend this
play and to enjoy the dramatic work of
these Young ladies.