The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1919-02-16

something, against knowledge, against
life. s,gainst-oh, most Of ali against
lived within him and had ruled
"Oh, dear!" His voice sounded az
though ne were going to cry. You don,
know what you're saying You mustn't
talk like that"
why mustn't /? Isn't it tr,,es" She
pushed herself from his embrace And
that is what makes il 50 dreadful
thought belonged to you because vas
the first, the very first. tnd now 10
unfinished sentence heid hopeless depths
OF diSllluSIon.
Jimmy did not strive TO draw her
nearer him again. He leaned forward
in his place and looked out upon the
fash and dazzle Of New York with an
awakening vision. tOh, my dear Sirl.
he said sadly, don't you know that not
one man in thousand narr.es the
hrst?"
The girls white face looked pinched
and old Then It's true-all the things
you read in the papers. all the things
you see at the theatcr. all the things.
the very worst things that people talk
about OF course ! knew that some
men are unspeakable. Maybe | took il
for granted that most men are But what
difference did il make to me. even if
what YOU say IS true, that all but one in
thousand are. when | thought that YOU
were that one ?"
The thing which had lain dormant in
Jimmy stirred al the heartbre2k Of her
cry, an untIied. stihed self OF which a
lew weeks ago he would have been
ashamed the better sell which had been
horn II him IS in rs all the SCI which
had conc out to Cicilys Young purity
With 4 love that was honest
i wish 20 Sod | had been Bat I'll
prove 10 you, no matter what I've been,
It hasn't really hurt me. There are two
kinds OF men ono WHO goes The pace
beforehand and cuts II out when he
nSrries, and The other kind that goes
he pace and rlarTlc> and keeps j; up.
NJ Hen YOU marry me you1l find thai / m
not in that class anyway"
The girl shook her mead No. | shall
not hnd II out-uot in that way. I'M
my"
With al the whiz and snor, and dis
turbance common 10 is class, tie tan
lad come 10 : Stdndstii Al their curb
and CiclY, not wa.tsag FOR ljns~y5
help. got oft and ran beIurt him Up tue
steps Ks they asceEded IN lie c!o>a.ur
her face vas turned from him bU. vn a
they stood alone IN the hallway - an,
mothers apartment Sire could not Yge-
cnt his crushing las. II his arm. th>
n1ys. All the careless g4iety lad c.' n
1t Was Whlte and tense And IL, ,,..c
was not l1mms's ether Il Nd ht.,.
and stalumeriug
You don; mean That >ourc goug 10
break With me That sua Won, nl.!ry
me-
4 couldi,', nov. hAcrs;h.as IS
spoiled I'd always th!nk ln4t yor e~liy
belonged TO someone else 10 -kao..
wasn't tic hrst.
Win d fierce satisfaction tllat She Lad
made HIM suffer. Sic ruiied herscl. nom
his released arms aal TUNED thy u-nGt,
OF her door
Standing before the mirror upon her
dainty dressing table, She began L. ,,,c
of her thing First Ills nilc aat Ai:ct
Jimmy had laughed ii but had said me
loved, then the iurs lie had gwen ii.I -
an engagement present. then III, Etiie
tailo. cd coat. TOMORROW she would -
home She would take the earliest lr4lh-
She would never see Jimmy Burke
again. Let Linn 20 back ~ his old
friends. Let HIM SO back 10 Uiat tiarh-
haired, enchanting woman MO loved
HIM lie WoU.d soon forget itlse CIc,ly
Day Tor whon he had pretended ID
care. 1t was better - 1t Was, She gould
never have taken her pace IN the Ne"
York pageant. its brilliant crowds, is
dlzzily soaring buildings, lad never lost
tor her the glamour Oh The unreal. She
had moved IN IL TOR u season, but not
OF 1t. All her inherited uisuncts, ner
training. <; her apart
from II. Serious, W.~liul-eycd, she was
only a spectator who Was beginning -
understand but who could never play
Inc game. 1t WAS better as il was. Jim
my did not belong 70 her. She turned
toward the closet and began TO take
down her simple dresses IRON the hook.
Half way IN the folding OF little
pink evening frock She stopped, the
OF the white face that was not
iimmys Of that hoarsc, stammeriug
.oice that was not III, filling her with
All unwilling pity. ~ hat was he doing
low: She mad not heard him pass hcr
toor.
Yielding to the impulse, she went OUT
nto the hall The servants were gone
or the evening Mrs Burke was keep
ng theater engagement, to be followed
alter BY d supper party. What was that
harp. smothered sound that came from
he library: Her breath caught in her
hToat. Did men cry like that!
Hurrying down the hall she stood be-
ween the portieres and looked in. Sit;
ing at the table, his head down upon
lis arms, his shoulders bent, sat Jimmy
And from that huddIed, boyisll shape
anne those choking racking sounds
ound unknown in all Cicily's expert
nee, mans uncomfortable sobbing.
With cry. the indescribable cry of
he mother whose sorrow for her child's
,rief is quenched by the certainty OF her
,ower to comfort Cicily knelt by his
ide and placed her face close to his
owed head
,ered. How could / know it would
.urt you like that? l don't care who
-ou belong to. l don't care whether I'm
lrst or not You're mine, mine, mine