davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28

qf&Bride
GaarasAed OK b 0e lE&wpp4Ee~zneA=a,sAoa

II suppose one might lose ones
way even on a ladder" was my next
thought whereat | climbed up until 1
touched the noor above me, then /
counted the rungs down to my feet.
and kept counting them as / descend
ed. At the twelfth rung, L knew 1
must be about on the level with the
first DOR of the house. 1 stopped and
felt along the brick wall of the well
for a knob or a lock or the crack of
a door frame. But the shaft was
smooth. so on I went still counting
my downward steps. When | reckon
that 1 was on h level OF the base
ment floor 1 repeated my experiment
and with the same RESULT
Evidently I was bound for a sub
basement. This proved to be so. A
few more rungs. n I felt a cement
floor beneath my toes. At the right
of the ladder, n door pushed outward
at my touch-and II opened upon ut
ter darknessi
IL was impossible for me to go on
without a light-anybody in that place
must have a light. 1 felt along the
door frame. and, of course, / found
a handy button to press. When my
eyes could endure the dim rays OF the
electric bulbs. | left my ladder and
entered the adjacent room. Ii was
SlildAl anu us NbAld very NflChs ~
was packed with bottles in cases. Ap-
parently 1 had discovered a huge stock
OF c~ontraband liquorsl
But 1 knew Certeis was not n drink
ing man in the sense that he ever
imbibed too much at a time. Yet his
sub-cellar was supplied with intoxi-
cants enough to hand down To his
grandchildren
1 couldn't pause to make an in
yentory-I had to hurry on in search
of the passage or door by which Ger
tets himself had left the house.
Suddenly l saw a huge rat Sinking
along the walls. IL seemed very an
xious to get away and instead of scar
ing me, 1t reminded me. somehow. OF
the makes I had seen in the cellars
on the coast and of the explosion
Great Scott" / said. using Bob's
~favorite exclamation. / had discover
ed-something-or guessed / had
Those barrels and kegs had m
thing in them besides liquorl
And yet / eouldnL go around ham
mering them carelessly In search OF
weapons and ammunition. There was
nothing to do but continue my hunt
for n way out of the place. l wan
dered through a labyrinth of small
rooms-then 1 noticed another rat
then others-soampering in the same
direction. What was frightening
them.2
Faint steps!
And now for the Bolsheviki." I
warned myself as / retraeed my steps.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Personals

Mrs. w. W. Oliver. Of Catalpa ave.
nue.. was a New York sojournel
Saturday.
Miss Charlotte Ryan, of Brace ave-
nue.. visited friends In Brooklyn Sun
day.
Francis Murray. of U. s. Navy spent
the week end at the home of Mrs
A. Powers, of Compton avenue.
Albin Lovegrin, of Bound Brook
spent the week end with his parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. A. Lovegrin. Of
Brace avenue.
Rudolph Anderson. of Elizabeth
spent the week end at the home Of
his parents. Mr.. and Mrs. Soren An.
derson. of Baker Place.
Fred Lovenberg, of Newark, visited
friends in this city Saturday.
Lieutenant and Mrs. Matlaw, OF
New York, visited friends in Brighton
avenue YESTERDAY.
Miss Mary NacFadyen. DAUGHTER OF
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph MacFadyen, OF
269 Hobart street. underwent an op-
Grafton for appendicitis at the city
hospital Friday.
Walter Egam, a young pianist OF
this city. played at the Virgil piano
conservatory In New DIRK city Friday.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Paul Bdumgartin
GiUen Surprise Party

A surprise party was rendered to
Paul Baumgarten. of $50 Brace ave-
nue., Saturday night at his home.
Dancing and games were enjoyed and
a supper was serve at midnight.
Those present were the Misses Edna
Anderson, Fanny Clausen. Martha Pc
~terson, Mary Zupka. Elizabeth Clau-
sen, Martha Baumgarten of this city:
Serena Nelson and Engrid Gerstarker
of South River. Messrs. Walter Mel
son., Paul B-aumgarten and George
Nelson of this city, Walter Newton of
Sayreville, Harold Swizer of Railway.
Morris Nelson of South River. and Ru-
dolph Anderson of Elizabeth. an
Mr.. snd Mrs. Paul Baumyarten.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28

"why. you big chumpl I don't want
her-wouldn't have her on q bet. But
we've got a chance to make the two
finest girls in the world happy BY a
little sacrifice on our part.
Finally. after much persuasion. Jim
agreed. but when he decoyed Edna out
onto the lawn under the trees. she was
thunderstruck at his proposal.
"why, jim" she said, II like you
better than any man I k~now-except
one-snd he Is so stupid I guess I'll
have to propose TO him myself"
But Billy was not so easily discour-
aged. you see, it's like this. Emily.
I've been thinking about marrying you
for a-some time-and We might just
as well go ahead and have It v
with"
"Biily." laughed Emily. "you remind
me Of the Charge Of the Light Bril-
gade, but even so. I might marry you
II ID weren't for the fact I'm In love
with somebody else"
"weIl," said Jim g%rouchfly. as the
two Of them conferred by the front
steps. "your dope was all wrong. And
we're both out Of 1t. Emily. II seems
loves somebody else. but 1t isn't me-
and Edna loves somebody else, hut 1t
| isn't you. THERE'S no eternal triangle
to this tragedy, It's more like a hollow
square"
IT CUES we have leased them
enough" came In Emily's amused
| voice. shut can you imagine two grown
men being 50 stupfd?"
mo. I can't but then" said the prac-
teal Edna. stupid men make the best
husbands"
whereat Billy looked at Jim and Jim
looked at Billy. Then with one and
the same impulse they charged on
| those two defensaless maidens with eff.
fectiye suddenness.
mot for a stt Z husband" said
Billy blandly.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Many Service Men
Enjoy Entertainment

The entertainment held last night
under h aupsices of the ]. w. b. in
the Y. NJ. II, A. hall was the great
est yet registered by that or
mig entertainments The a was
crowded to its capacity more than 200
men In uniform alone were present
The opening number was an exhibit
lion drill by a boy scout troop. They
opened their number by their song
and followed up by signaling a mes
sage from one n of the hail to the
other. The message was written by
one of the sailors present and 1t was,
Join the navy and see the world y
This was followed by a demonstra-
ton of the scout method of signaling
over a slight rise in the ground. The
final number was emergency practice.
which was given in the form of q
little playlet presenting the instance
Of a lad being lost in the woods and
how he was rescued by his fellow
scouts.
The next number was a solo, Love
Is the Best OF ALL" BY Miss Lillian
Good-day accompanied by Miss Har-
riet Good-day. This was well receiv-
ed and encored. The next number
was a reading from tom Sawyer by
Miss Rose Brody. 1t was well rem
dered and although the tale was
known by many II held her audience
throughout the entire recital. Miss
Rose Cheshansky hen gave a reel
tation in the italian dialect. The en-
tire piece was carried out in this man
ner and the rendition was excellent
Miss Ruth Block then gave. Good
Bye John Barley Corn accompanied
by Miss Theresa Kreielsheimer.
Piano selections were rendered by
the Misses Minnie Isenberg, Bianch
Spiegel. and Theresa Krielsheimer.
Refreshments OF ice cream and
homemade cake were served by the
refreshment committee composed OF
Mrs. ]. L. Klein. Mrs. Hertz. Mrs. j.
Krielsheimer. Mrs. l.. Krielsheimer
and Mrs. ]. S. Schwartz. The host
esses of the evening were: Mrs. J. I.
Block n Mrs. L. K. Roos.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28

Picturesque Is the word best de-
scribing the lovely millinery with
which this years debutante Is destined
to crown her youthful head. Every
thing In beautiful millinery materials
is available for her-ribbons, flowers,
braids, laces-and all fabrics in flow
erlike colors. How effectively they are
used may be gathered from the hats
pictured here. At the top there Is a
lovely hat of tuscan and piping braid
trimmed with a wreath of wheat and
field flowers that is like a song Of
summer. Below 1t a pretty hat of taf-
feta, with frayed fiounces about the
brim. IL lovely in marine with a band
Of bright embroidery in the crown.
The last hat Is Of hair braid overiaid
with bands OF narrow ribbon Joined by
stitches Of embroidery silk.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
z-EI.
Important Rivers.

Just as Egypt has been made By
the Nile. so Mesopotamia has been
made by the Tigris and the Euphratcx
The view put forward with some a1
thority that The rivers should be kept
exclusively for irrigation and not be
depended upon for transport Is chal.
legged on many grounds. n Of which
Is that irrigation and navigation can
be effectively combined. and indeed
made mutually advantageous for
many years to come.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Miss Elsie Beck Bride
Of Fred Paul Albert

Hans Beck, of 705 Carson avenue,
announces the marriage of his daugh-
ter, Elsie Beck, to Fred Paul Albert,
of Albany, N. Y, which took place
Saturday afternoon at 2 o'clock IN
the Collegiate church. New York. The
ceremony was performed by the pas
tor. Rev. ID. Russell The attendants
were Louis Ludwig, of Albany, and
Miss Augusta Petersen, of Sayre ave-
nue., this city. MI. and Mrs. Albert
will reside In this city.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
W. c. c. r. Event

The War Camp Community Service
held their regular Saturday night
dance that hight in the X. Nj. IL. A.
hall instead Of the Army and Navy
Club. 1t was a great success. the
music being furnished by Martin
Schenck's orchestra. Refreshments
of homemade cake and punch were
served. The hostesses of the evening
were Mrs. w. w. Oliver and Mrs.
Eugene Dieterly. Miss Edna Ritten-
house. of the War Camp Community
Service, was also present.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
His RuIina Thouaht.

One hears a great deal about the
absent-minded professor. but it would
be hard to find one more absent-mind-
ed than the dentist who said soothing
ly. as he applied a tool to his ANTONIO
bile. under which he lay: Nov, this
Is going to hurt Just q little"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Lunch Box Social
and Dance Enjoyed

The lunch BOZ social and dance held
under the auspices of the Western
improvement Association in their hall
in Brace avenue. Saturday night was
the promised success. The music was
furnished by Philip Hart at the piano,
and Walter Gcrlufsen at the violin.
Tho chairman of the arrangement
committee was w. C. Taylor.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28


Copyright, 1913, by Mcclure Newspaper
syndieste.)
Billy Warden sat on the yeranda
rail half oblivious to the chatter of the
company about him until Edna Barns,
their charming hostess, stood beside
him.
do come in and sing something.
Billy" she whispered. I'm afraid the
evenings beginning to drag"
Warden arose dutifully and followed
her into the house toward the plano
while she announced from the door;
Come on everybody, Biily's going to
sing"
And everybody trailed into the room
where Billy was already running over
the plano keys aimlsssly.
"What1l you haveT he asked over
his shoulder to the gay assemblage.
Something sad--something mushy-
or something frivolousr'
Something frivolous n was the
unanimous request.
So Billy's fingers strayed into q syn
copating melody as he threw back his
blond head and sang In his rolicking
baritone:
In q certain situation
While engaged in a Irritation,
When she asks you II forever
You will love her
Don't fall In CONSERVATION
For that maiden's appreciation.
Nor make promise that you'll never
Low another.
BY tudicious implication
And q little oscuiation.
Break It gently and be clever
Lows the girl. but not forever.
Tor forever IL q long. long time!
Forever is a long. long time!" ap-
plauded one of the men. Fright you
are, Billyr
A little later after he had managed
to break away from the piano, Edna
Barns caught him In the hall and faced
him accusingly.
"a man of your talent ought to be
ashamed to have such a frivolous phil
osophy. Billy wardon." she said i'm
patiently.
Billy was bland and his eye was In
nocent.
"Since that heartless song Of yours.
Emily Wayne has been out in a dark
corner Of the veranda weeping her
eyes out" she chided.
81 never made love to Emily Wayne
in my life" he protested.
"You make love to every woman you
meet-wtth your eyes, Billy" she ae-
cused.
II don'tr r. denied Billy rudeiy.
"You do, too" she insisted. "You
even make love to me that way
you're doing 1t nowP"
For an instant his serious glance
sought hers as she stood there looking
up at him. This Is a grand little old
ffe-notp he said. with q pathetic
grin. Emily Wayne loves mel love
you-you love Jim Br~sdley-and Jim
loves Emily. Outside Of that we're all
as happy as a bunch Of pickpockets at
a prison wardens' convention" And
he moved OF gloomiiy toward the We
randa In search Of the grteving Emily,
while Edna watched him go with q
Q perplexed little smile on her lips.
But he did not find Emily. although
be did find Jim Bradley. smoking
mocdify.
"Jim." said Billy. what we want In
this world don't amount to much. but
what the women vant--that's differ
emil Now. I want Edna. and you want
Emiiy-but women being contrary.
Edna wants you. and Emily wants me.
Now. It's up to nj to make them happy.
30 the only thing to do IL for yon to 80
ahead and marry Edna and IN 60 and
nnd Emily and dx II up with her.
But I don't want Edna" protested
Jim violently. -and I'll be darned II
I'll stand your marrying Emily. !
want her myself" -
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
Girls Club Notes

There viii be a rehearsal tonight
of the play to be presented by tho
Girls Club of Perth Amboy. The re-
hearsaf will beheld In Roessler's gym
and win start at 1880 o'clock.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28

204 New Brznsuiezx Ava Tel 8 n
Formerly Reaufx Pa<Rsr.. q SMITH BA
Combings q up into Switches
Transformations y any aty1e made
here In parIo<.
Human hair goods our speciality.
Switches from t3-t9 up
Appointments made by t~siephons
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28

This springs hats r wonderfully
becoming, and here are three Of them
designed for the younger woman At
the top q dress hat Of braid and
georgette; at the bottom q street hat
Of satin and beads. and between them
a semidress hat hrightened by ribbon
and flowers.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-04-28
STUPIDITY FOR w
BY INES MACDONALD.

Copyright. 1918, by Mcclure Newspaper
syndicate.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06
The Funniest Men That EUer LiUed Intimate Sketches of the Worlds Greatest umos
 tes Their FOlies and Their Pebbles.
No. 9-M. Quad

Back in the queer old days of blacE horse-hair furniture. wax flowers. what nots, steel engravings of George Wash ington. and gas fixtures adorned witt glass earrings, Charles Bertrand Lewis began to write funny skits for the De troit Free Press, and singed himself AI Quad. He is still writing. Week by week his yarns about Mir and Mrs. Bowser tickle the readers of two newspapers. H. has friends by the million. Humorists adore him. Out on the far edge of Brook lyn the other afternoon he showed me lat morocco-bound serap-book filled with letters sent him on his seventieth birth day by the most amusing celebrities Of our time-Whitcomb Riley, Chauncey De- pew, Gelett Burgess and dozens besides. Wrote George Ade:
 One of my earliest recollectons is tha; of sprawling on the floor with Free Press in front of me, gigglng over the Lime Kiln Club. Ellis Parker Butler, author of Pigs Is Pigs. chirps up as enthusiastically. "Out there in Iowa. along in the late seventies and early eighties. I was kid he says, and two oss-eurrents swung me this way ana the other. A dearly beloved aunt fed 5ne safe doses of Matthew Arnold and ~Tennyson and Longfellow, and some of the poems l wrote were bad enough to appear in the magazines of today 1 was within on inch Of being a poet But had father got him still, thank heaven --and he would sit in his deep old green easy chair and chuckle and gurgle and choke over the Free Press, night after night.
 T couldn't see that anyone chucllle1 and gurgled and ehoked over Matthew Arnold and it seemed to me that the codger that could take tired man ane give him hours of mirth and merriment was doing mighty good job
 So you are the guilty man! But when your Maker charges you with this crime, you can say, I know, I know I'm re- sponsible for a bum humorist, but think what dod routed poet he would have beenr'
 NJ Quad has shed the heavy. dropping onoustaehe that is so conspicuous in his published portraits. but he has the same bright keen, kindly twinkle in his p''rc' ing eyes, and the twinkle fairly bi- .el for half an instant when I said That scrapbook of letters beats Ph.D. from Harvard university!"- by all odds it does. In it's way and to the extent of it's abilities, it is the reward of being generally funny for 70 years. Of that old time group of humorists-Artemus Ward.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06
Thanking you severely for your infectious distraction

Petroleum Y. Nasby, Josh Billings and the rest-M. quad is the last survivor
 Now when look for the secret of longevity in Quad's fun-the thing that makes it as so uproariously good today as ever 1t Was-I think it is the magic ot his quiet, convincing. delightful serious ness. You believe in the Arizona Kicker You believe in the Lime Kiln Club You believe in MT. and Mrs Bowser. It was so from the first.
 one day, ages and ages ago, Lewis was
 fixing up string of editorial opinions rom various newspapers. and took it into hls head to conclude with ioyously fan tastic one from the Arizona Kicker. Ot course no such journal existed. However. the name made a hit. Ever and anon for years, Lewis would quote the Arizona Kicker so plausibly that on 26 occasions he got letters like this: Dear MT. Quad: l desire to subscribe to the Arizon Kicker put do not know where it is published Please use the enclosed dollar in making the subscription for me-
 territory in those days Arizona was clamoring for admission to the union Time and again. the territory appealed for statehood. Time and again, state hood was refused it. To Quad's unlimited amusement, the territorial governor de- 1Ae'iCu He IHdln lulllS lndS SldnuS III our way is that ridiculous, internal de- lusive sheet, the Arizona Kickern
 Do you know the Bowsers? Ever since the year one. MT. and Mrs. Bowser have been having it out cantankerously in the newspapers on all conceivable subjects. and letters pour in on MT. Quad from wives who say he has drawn their hus- bands to the life Once a man wrote; "The neghbors insist that Bowser is the very spittin' image of me, and think you must have come here and looked me up. Please answer-yes or no-were you ever in this town?"
 Although the colored folks have let Quad alone about his darky Lime Kiln Club, white people have frequently writ ten to ask the way to it's famous head quarters in Paradise hall. For that mat ter, a stranger in Detroit once came to the Free Press office cornered Quad, and put the question to him straight. Quad squirmed out of it by inventing a fire. and extensive repairs in progress. and indefinite adjournment of delibera- tions at Paradise hall
 THE USE OF BOOKS
 Now, it is true that NJ. Quad's preface to Brother Gardner's Lime Kiln Club" is couched in terms not precisely calcu- lated to foster an unquenehable faith in the proceedings of that learned society. Tt has become quite fashionable, he says, ito write and publish books. They are handy to box the childrens ears with; are good property to lend to your neighbors; and when the baby has torn the covers off, they can be worn as chest protectors and liver-pads. The only thing I warrant about this book is that it con
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06
YAQUIS ARE NOT
 ALWAYS GUILTY
By Associated Pres.

Fl Paso, Tex, July 5-Yaaui Indian depredations in the Mexican border states are becoming more frequent, but not all acts of banditry in the Yaaui country can be laid at the doors of the Indians, according to adrices reaching here from Sonora. Tt is a case of giv ing a dog bad name and hanging him, '' ar American reported who is familiar with the marauding activities of the Yaquis.
 It is the custom in Sonora, he said. for Mexcans to shout ''Yaqui whenever a foreigner has been killed in isolated ter ritory, or whenever a fragrant violation of Mexican law has been committed any where in the section where Yaquis may be found. This is supposed to impress the visitor with the idea that real Mexi- can banditry exists largely in the i'm aginaticns of outsiders. Hence, the Yaqui is blamed for violent acts whether he was responsible or not.
 Yaqui and Mexican bandit bands are both active and it is said to be impossi- ble to tell which is guilty of various re- ported raids, robberies and murders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06

aims no vegetable posons and will not sxplode when handled, by innocent chill
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06

pire? Whar am Caesar an Brutus ar Cassius? Let de dust of de past an swer Much blowing of noses.) My hearers. we should not lib fur de past, but fur de future. De future am big wid events. Today we may be full of sor- row. If so, we hope dat de morrow will bring clam showder. (Great smacking of lips.) My frien's, I am done. Thanking you severely for yodr infectious distraction, l 'rambulate to my seats wid oderiferous feelings of concentration toward each an every one of you"
 There you are. brethren. Doubt the story if you like, but think what you're missing.
 Copyright. 1919. by the Bell SynGi-
 cate, Inc)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06
RICH LAPS ARE
 RUINED BY WAR

Tokio, June 5-K number of Janapese "narikin" or men who have won great wealth in building or selling steamers during the war. have lost their fortunes owing to the advent of peace. Some, even, have incurred debts and are in serious difficulties.
 Another group of "narikin,' however, is anticipated. It depends entirely upon Cermany's resources. If Germany can meet the allies claims for shipping in- demnity some of the Japanese shipping magnates will receive reparation for yes sells they lost in the war.
 Thirty-one Japanese vessels, totaling 12S, AT tons, were sunk by German sub marines during the war, and for this loss an indemnity of $l25, ,O00,000 has been demanded from Germany.
 Columbia university has added a new course dealing with the remedial mower of music
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06

Past Sir Isaac Walpole, you an Giyeadam Jones will put on your yal- Ter kid gloves an long tailed coats an escort de professor into de hall
 usLTr- c.rruo A Nr1LVI1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-06

Tn about five minutes the stranger made his appearance and was greetel with burst of applause. On taking the platform, he was introduced by the president. handed piece of slip pery elm to keep his throat moist dur ing his oratory, and he then bowed ano began:
 "'My dear frien's, whar am de past? Look fur it under de bed, down cellar. upstairs, in de woodboN, or what you will, an you cannot find it. Why :? kase it am gone. It will neber, neber return. tSighs from all over the halL) Whar am de glories of de Roman em-