The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-09
AeNHeOcES4UTz

Mein dear son Heine:
Veil, Heine, haven't wFotten yoI
for quite a vile. but no excuse iss bet
ter than something, so here goes idt.
You see, Heine. l han hadt so Hooch
work. to do during der 6umper dot
haven't token any vacationings, und
der only recreation vot I han hadt vos
to gedt mad adj der kids, und ocas-
sionaiiy ge-kick der dog. so der oder
day l started ouidt for ride in der
old tin boat. But, Heine, someding
vos wrong, for der engine got heart
failings. der tires blew oop, der gaso-
line leaked away und der windshield
kicked me i'm der face, Dot made n e
mad adj meinselluf, so I walked ouidt
puy der edumacational institution adj
Vashburn Skollege, ind den der trou-
Bile commenced. Hsine, ouidt dele
voE couple Of tellers vot hadt made
captive on a Wild aeroplane.
Asropiane, Heine, iss word vich iss
derived from der Latin word Aero,
vich means to go COP. und der Greek
word Plane, vieh means "coms down."
so you see properly translationed
AeroplaHe means "all vot goes cop
must come down"
: One on der felIers name vos Lieu
tenant Merle Morthland, und ven he
saw me he Saidt. Mr.. SchnitE, veuldt
You like TO take a buggy ride puy der
aeropiane in?" Und der oder Teller,
whose name vos Lieutenant Harry
Bum. saidt, please do. Mr.. SehnitE,
meln worst enemy hass made me madt,
und ] want TO gedt even nit mein.
selluf."
Now. Heine, under der ukireum-
stances, how could I refuse sooch
pleading, so / asked Lieutenant Buff,
who Vos going 10 drive der blamed
machine, Are you married" Und he
godt all red puy der face on, und saIdt
NO" Und I Saidt, Veil, MAYBE den
lat iss all right, because vunce l knew
Teller vot vos married vot drove yum
off dose machines, und he didn't gife
tam vet happened"
Veil. Heine. dey tied OPP mein head
IN a gunny-sack, und put some vim
dow-glasses, giggles dey called dem,
on mein eyes, ind I climbed puy der
machine in. Und den dey tied me in
der seat nit q strap. I saidt ''Vot ISIS
der big idea, do you think maybe
am going to gedt ouidt und walk ?"
yum OF ger mechanics saidt mo. dot
iss nodt tdt, We iSs afraid maybe you
viii gedt away COP puy der air in und
maybe yedt you might loose der aero
plane, so We are ehust tying idt to
you" Lieutenant Buff sat In der
back seat, ind sat Ouidt on der
front porch, ] suppose 50 dot lift We
hte someding. I would try idt first.
Chuse den. Heine. saidt, "Vait a
minute Subbose dot We Eedt away
oop in der air, und den run Offer a
tack und gedt puncture. Vot den az
IND Buff saidt, Elm dot case, idt iss
courtesy OFT der air for der pas
sengeT to Eedt ouidt und change der
tire" Und said, "Vell. vot Will I
stood on" He saidt, ION your repu.
tation. ! gusss." Und I told him dot
didn't got some. dot idt vos wilfuIly
token away from me. und he saidt
IF dot iss so, and sooch q event
shouldt happen, den guess you iss in
a helufafix."
Heine, aindt idt vunderfuI how
mooeh force isS contained in truth
sometimesf Veil. anyway, chuat den
Lieutenant Morthland ge.clImbed oop
on little stick vich ISIS called der
propeller. und after he und Lieu
tenant Buff hadt cussed adj each oder
for vile, der engine started. as did
likewise der aeropiane und der whole
bunch off Us. Heine, nefeF knew
SIXTY miles an hour vos so fast.
After We hadt smoothed ouidt all
der bumps on der field, und only
missed vun off dem, der ground grad
ually slipped away from US, und We
voS trespassing on der property off
der angels. Pretty soon Buff yelled
adj me to turn around mein headt.
did vot no said, und den he yelled adj
me und oxelamationed. How in der
tefif do you expect TO see someding