davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
By CAPT. J. WALTER MITCHELL

Pleasant. One day while the romantic
clerk and his sentimental lady were
enjoying a one-man and one-girl pic
mic party in a shady nook in Rock
Creek woods. Crowley, who had gum
shoed them from their meeting place
downtown. FASTENED to the Pension
Bureau and had a special agent &C.
company him to the trystinr place.
Before resuming the trail of the
clerk and his affianced. Crowley pro-
cured from his chief DISCUSSES for HIM
self and the special agent. The effect
OF these make-ups was to give 10
both men a rather sinister appearance.
Crowley wore a dark beard and a
slouched hat. The special agent in
his disguise looked like a cross be-
tween a Russian anarchist and a
Weary Willie"
Thus grotesquely attired the men
proceeded to the woods, and like hu-
man shadows, fitted from tree TO tree
as they watched the sylvan love max
ing. Finally they attracted the at
tention of the clerk. who was a mus
cular young man well versed in the
art Of self-defense, and he started
after them. The special agent sue
ceeded In eluding the stalwart lover
but Crowley, after a short chase. fell
into his hands. The clerk gave Crow
ley a severe beating and proceeded
back to town with his lady. The mat
ter was reported to the police and the
clerk was arrested. In the Police
Court on the following day the clerk
lover told his story to Judge Tom Mil
Ter and explained that he and the
young woman were to be married in a
few days. After the Judge had listen
ed to Crowley's statement he said:
1T served you exactly right. You
were attired in the habiliments OF a
highwayman or thug. and it is for
tunate that this young man did not
kill you. You got OF with light pun
ishment. While his act was technical
ly a violation of law. il was justified
by your conduct. The clerk OF the
court may accept his personal bonds"
Many young men and women of the
old days owe the sudden termination
OF their engagements to marry TO the
secret work of private detectives. and
numerous divorces in the old days
were due to their quiet Investigations.
/ recall one particular case in
which a young professional nHn
with his Offices on the north side of
F street, near Ninth. and his afi-
anced. a beautiful. blond OF West
Washington. were estranged because
of a report made to the girls parents
by a private detective agency. II had
been suspected that he was keeping
company with fast young folks of
both sexes who met In his Offices af-
ter nightfall and INDUCED In high
revelry.
An amateur my cop" known as
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

'Reddy." was assigned 10 the case.
Early one morning he proceeded TO
bore with a large auSer two yep
holes in the door Of the suspected
youths Office. The holes were clever
ly plugged and painted the color %
the door 20 prevent detection. The
scheme worked like a charm. and
"Reddy" kept close watch on the
place. Several nights later his NiSils
were rewarded. as the youth with sew
eral Young mon and an equal number
OF bedizened females fitted into the
offices.
The detective quickly summoned the
youths prospective father-in-Izw End
together they waited the spicy pro-
ceedings within. which would put 10
shame the most "jazzy" cabarets OF
the present time. Wine and stronger
liquids flowed freely and the crowd
soon become boisterous and demon
strstive. Finally one OF the women
spied the peep holes. at that time oc-
cupied by the interested eyes Of tho
father OF the affianced. She rushed
to the door followed by the young
man who was under observation.
There stood the old gentleman and
the detective
harley. your engagement to NV
daughter is OF" the irate father
shouted.
We'll. I'll be id" was tn. only
comment of the amazed youtr, md
the incident was closed.
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

women in certain cases to make their
fees secure.
Some of the DISCUSSES employed were
quite clever. while others were clumsy
affairs, more like opera bouffe CO.'S
tunes than anything else.
PummelIed the BELL Hop.
Whiles watching the movements of
runaway wife one OF the amateur
fly cops sought employment as a bell
hop at an uptown hotel. He was
given the job and, encased In the
livery of the hotel. he entered upon
the task of ensnaring the erring wife,
who had apartments at the hotel in
question. One day. while he had her
rooms under close observation, he
observed two men enter them. Gum
shoeing along the hallway, he reached
the door of the apartment the man
had entered, and was peeping through
the keyhole. when a guest came along
and demanded to know what he meant
by his Peeping Tom tactics.
While the guest was berating the
fellow the door opened and the two
men who had just entered came
forth. Upon learning what the bell
hop had been doing. the men mauIcd
him numerically and led him to
the office where he was promptly
given his dismissal. The two men
who beat up the detectives wefc
brothers of the woman he had un-
der espionage. They had come from
Virginia to take their sister to the
home of her parents near Char
lottesville. as her husband had bru-
tally maltreated her.
Another case in which a wife, was
under suspicion was turned over to
private detective agency for in
yestigation. The husband of this
woman was a naval officer and was
frequently. assigned to sea duty
which necessitated long absence
from his home on Nineteenth street.
Upon his return to this city after
an extended sea voyage. he heard
reports concerning his
wife. These reports came in anony-
nous letters. but they became so
that the husband decided
to have them quietly investigated.
One of the letters received by the
naval officer alleged that during his
absence his wife made mysterious
trips to South Washington where
she met and had affairs with a we'll
known man-about-town. Several OF
the anonymous notes conveyed the
that three times each
week the wife took clandestine
trips in an old nighttime hack. The
naval officer. who was one of the
most popular and handsomest men
In Uncle Sans service, dearly
owed his wife and was loa tn to give
serious consideration to the changes.
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

publicly horsewhipped her. The in
formation that her husband was en-
amoured OF another woman WAS con-
veyed to her by a private detective
OF Jewish extraction. who was IN the
sleuth business on his own account.
This amateur detective ransacSed the
room of the New England woman
during her absence and procured sew
eral letters that had been written to
her by the erring husband. These
were addressed ITO My Darling
Cherub" and contained such sentences
as these:
II have flown to you on the invisible
wings of love in response 10 some
mysterious telepathic telegram. which
has convinced me OF your soul love
for one who will hereafter sail with
you DER the tides of time through all
eternity"
"The sparks of holy love in our
twin souls have kindled an undying
fame. and through all eternity we
will bask in its glorious freight
my devotion to you is akin TO the
devotion of Mudjad to his Buddah.
For all your love am willing to suf-
fer, suffer, suffer until time is no
more"
While the angry wife was raining
blows upon the back of this soul lover
with her cowhide, she punctuated
them with the exclamation:
Now you may suffer. suffer. sufter
for the sake of your he-cheruo and
when I am through you may take him
with you"
Thirty-five years ago when there
was a large force of clerks employed
in the Pension Bureau, and the ofi1-
cial rules were more lax than they
are now, many of the clerks were in
the habit of remaining away from
their duty for one or more days on
the slightest pretext This practice be-
came SO general that the Pension Com
decided to check 1t. He
summoned the manager OF an street
detective agency to his office ana
furnished him with a list OF persts-
tent offenders. The manager was in
structed to shadow these men and re-
port their movements to the Commis-
sioner.
recall three Of the cases investi-
gated which found their way into the
Police Court or public print. One OF
these was a young man who was not
satisfied with spending the candle
light hours with his affianced. but
took French leave from his office two
or three days each week to escort her
into the picturesque and romantic
places in the suburbs, where he could
make love accompanied by natures
fullest choral.
One of the private detectives en-
ployed on this case was a young man
named Crowley. who located the
clerks trysting places beyond Mount
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

home of the colored people in South
washington were continued three or
four times a week. The sieu;hs in
the meantime. having employed a
colored woman who lived near the
Delaware avenue house. to learn
what transpired there on the occa-
slons OF the visits of the naval off,
GERS wife.
The result Of the Investigation
can best be told as it was reported
10 the naval officer. The chief of
the detective agency in his final re-
port said:
4 can certify after a complete
and thorough investigation into the
movements OF your wife for the pa st
Two weeks, that she is a woman of
undoubted virtue and that you have
not misplaced your confidence in her
Integrity. During that period the
only men she has even spoken TO
were the tradesmen who brought
goods to your house, the aged col
ored driver and perhaps a few other
casuals who saw her on strictly
business matters. In explaining her
aleged clandestine and mysterious
mack rides at night. 1 am sorry to be
compelled to report to you that such
wife is an addict to opium, Her
only purpose in visiting the bouse Of
the colored people on Delaware ave-
nue. was to procure supplies of
haoit-forming drugs and to indulge
In smoking the opium pipe.
have learned that she became
an addict while in China, where she
had gone with you when you were
assigned to the Asiatic Naval Sta
tlon. She was introduced to the
habit, am informed, by the wife
OF Chinese official with whom she
became acquainted while in the.
Orient. In conclusion, 1 am glad to
report that the suspected woman
has honored her duty of wifehood
ana motherhood but has unfortu-
nateiy become the victim of a perni-
cious habit. and I suggest that you
nave her treated by the best special
ISIS you can employ for the cure
of the disease"
As sequel to this pathetic story,
,ne husband secured leave from duty
ana returned TO Washington with all
naste, Following the suggestion of
the detective chief. he quietly placed
his wife under treatment with a
noted physician. who in the course of
year effected complete cure. and
the suspected wife. who had been
very much Of a recluse, because OF
her addiction. became one of the shin
ing lights in high Washington So
ciety.
Another interesting case handled by
private detectives and which came
near eliminating in a tragedy. was
that Of an erring wife from East
Washington. who was found with her
lover In the notorious resort Of
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

SLAMS. by way OF Treaties OF Peace.
y'understand. was such that II We
would of attempted IL with the Ger
mans, Mawruss, and the United States
Congress would of confirmed il. Maw-
russ, Victor Berger would be fighting
to be let out of the House of Repre-
scntatiyes and TO be admitted to
Leavenworth, instead of vice versa.
on the grounds that he didn't want
to associate with no crooks. y'undcr-
stand. but seemingly this here Hohen-
lohe is suffering from loss of memory
as well as loss OF self-respect, Maw-
russ, because he Is now making
speeches in which ne is weeping all
over his already tear-stained copy of
the Peace Treaty and calling it the
Tragedy OF Versailles, whereas COM
pared TO the Treaty OF Peace which
YOU might call the Tragedy Of Brest-
Litovsk. Mawruss. this here Versailles
Treaty of Peace is n Follies Of 1919.
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
a ID @ra&e amd
show the
Allie. bow tlna4.
Peace treata
nm ade Them
suffer

worth that much money per capita
per annum to get rid of that Kosher
and they will also begin to realize
that II has been worth even more
than that much per capita per an
mum to the allied people to see a
performance such as the German
people has been giving during the
last few days and instead of the
German people continuing to weep
in sympathy with Ebert and Scheid-
mann. y'understand, they will be
advising them two boys to go and
take for ten cents apiece some
mathematic spirits of ammonia and
quit their sobbing."
However. Abe" Morris re-
marked, there was a few Ameri-
cans which instead of being in the
audience enjoying the performance
was back on the stage with the
Germans and weeping just SO hard
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
DEUNcALANC

about saying that the German peo-
pie relied on President Wilson and
the United States of America being
easy marks, but al Tzuris. what a
mistake that was, In effect he says
that President Wilson on January -
1871. made the statement that the
victor must not force his conditions
on the vanquished: and relying on
that statement. Germany went TO
work and got into a war with the
United States because if Germany
got licked. y understand. the worst
that can happen her is that she
makes peace again on her own terms.
and then when Germany did get lick
ed. see what happens to her: Presi-
dent Wilson behaves like a frozen
snake in the grass which somebody
tries to warm by putting the snake
into his pants pockets. y'understand.
and when the snake gets thawed out.
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
Illustrated by ALBERT LEVERING

ton for those Americans who believe
that the religion and race origin Of
certain other Americans makes them
eligible to give their children's lives
to the country and their money TO
Red Cross and other war drives
but that 1t don't make them eligible
to stay at first-class summer hotels
or play golluf by first-class country
clubs"
Say" Abe broke in. "there is need
of more important Americanization
among Americans than that. Maw-
russ. There should ought to be
Of Americans who
think IL Is American for landlords to
ask for raises of their rent and un-
American workmen to ask for raises
of their wages. In fact, this whole
movement should
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

ing out OF Americans any habits. Gus
toms or schemes they try TO put
across which is apt TO make Polish
Americans, 1talisn-Americans. Jew
ish-Americans or Assorted Foreign
Americans say to one another. Well.
IL that's the way Americans behave.
give me back my hyphen and let me
go home"
We'll. after all. Abe. it's a mighty
small bunch of Americans which
amt Americanized yet," Morris OBJ
served.
Il know it, Abe said. land It's
their smallness which makes me sore.
Mawruss. because no matter how
small they are by number. or nature.
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

where a Germans heart would he II
he had one. Abe. and said that no
Germans would positively and abso-
lutely not submit to any such Treaty
OF Peace IS the one offered TO them.
or. that is to say. they would not sub
init TO it except on and after May
p. 1919. and anyhow. nobody would
ever trust President Wilson again"
And yet. Mawruss. when them Ger
mans gets over the first shock Of this
here Peace Treaty and wipe away
their tears sufficient TO see things a
little more clearly. understand"
Abe commented. lit is Just barely
possible that they are going to do
some rapid figuring on what they
gain by not supporting a few thou
sand princes-not TO mention the
money which that blood od-thirsty kai-
ser and his family used To draw in
salaries and commissions. Mawruss.
and when these amounts are offset
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

Mawruss. they are the ones tai
the Turks pulled on us when we pe-
tested about them poor Armenians
nebich- Also. Mswruss. II Mr.. Wilson
should protest that the new Polish
republic amt treating our people as
aquals. y'understsnd, the new Polish
republic could come right back with
Neither 10 any number Of summer
hotels we could name In the Adiron-
dacks Mountains Of your own United
States Also IL the Peace Delegates
from this country gives a hint TO the
Greeks that there is colonies Of BuI-
garians living In Greece for years al
ready which wants TO be Greeks and
should ought 10 have the same voting
rights as Greeks. cumberland, All
Venezuela or whatever the Greek 500
retary Of state has got 70 say N:
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

Well. we hold that these people ain't
got a riCht TO vote under q law called
the Grandfather Law. which We
copied from similar laws passed in the
states OF Georgia. Alabama and Mis-
sissippi in your own United States
And them poor old Peace Delegates OF
ours wouldn't have a word to say"
AT that. Abe. ! think all them dis
agreeable things in this country II
going to be changed by the war"
Morris suggested.
Perhaps. Mawruss." Abe concluded
but considering what changes have
taken place because Of this war. it's
wonderful how little changed things
really are
Copyright. 1919. r. Mcclure N-vsr1rsr Svndiosts
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

The old-time detective with false
hair and whiskers and other camou-
nage abounded in Washington about
forty years ago. He was not a head
quarters plainclothes man. but an
amateur attached to one of the nu-
merous private detective agencies
mostly located along F street from
Eighth to Fifteenth streets
At that time anyone could hang out
his shingle and engage in sleuth
work as business without many
questions being asked by the city au-
thorities. There were few II any re-
strictions placed upon those who con-
Quoted the agencies" al they were
termed. Now. private detectives are
required to be heavily bonded and are
governed by rigid rules prescribed by
police headquarters. so that the pro-
fession Of human ferret in this period
10 q respectable calling. whereas in
the years following the civil war
many unscrupulous fellows followed
the avocation.
While engaged in my work as re-
porter in those days I met many OF
these camoufiaged gentlemen ana
wrote a number of stories of their
shady doings. Some of the mana
gers had polite canyassers who So
licited trade among all classes of So
ciety. in the government departments
and the business houses of Washing
ton Alluring literature was also en-
pIoyed by some of the agencies. I
recall the gist of one circular-letter
that was sent out by a firm of anna
teur Sherlock Holmeses on F street
II was headed Strictly Confidential
and Personal" Then followed a Sc
ries of queries. Here are some Of
them:
Catchy sCome-on, stuff.
do you suspect your employees Of
being dishonest?
,'.Do you know how they spend their
nights and with what kind Of people
they associate7
would you like to know their hab-
ns after leaving their place OF en-
pioyment. and whether they engage
In gambling or dishonest practices? :?
III you are engaged to be married.
would you like to know how your
affianced conducts herself or himself
while not under your Observation?
Would you like to know what your
wife or husband does after leaving
Nome?
f.If you do. or IL you have suspi-
c5Ans regarding some relative, friend
or employe. consult the Git-'em-Quick
Detective Agency. etc"
Not all the old-time detective firms
we're shady and resorted to such lit
srature" as the foresoins. Some were
conducted on honorable principles. but
the charge was made and sustained
asainst others Of them that they de-
tberately framed up" men and
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

German professors will have to get
busy and invent some ersatz sack
cloth and ashes to supply the de-
mand"
Crooks are Always poor sports, Abe"
Morris declared. ''in particular when
they throw themselves on the merry
Of the people that they didn't in
tend to show no mercy to them
selves Take this here Ebert. for
instance. and he don't make no bones
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
m BY MONTAGUE GLASS
German Roman Holiday and Americanzation of Americans

me, it bites the hand that
feeds 1t. and what are you going to
do In a case like this!'
AT that. Mawruss. Ebert amt
making near so bad an exhibition Of
himself as this here Prince Won
Hohenlohe- There was a feller which
was used to was the German Chan
cellor. Mawruss," Abe said. land the
dirty deals which he helped to put
over on the Roumanians and the Rus
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

with Just ore laugh after another,
understand"
And I see also where this here
Scheidemann is also figuring very
largely in this here Roman exhibition
the Germans is making of themselves,
Abe" Morris observed. He said the
other day that the Germans would
never, never, never-or anyhow not
until next Thursday a week-sign the
Peace Treaty. He put his hand on
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01

against indemnities which the Ger
mans are required to pay under the
Peace Treaty. Mawruss. it will in all
probability be found that the German
nation Is beggared. as this here
Scheidemann would say, to the extent
Of o.S3lhe per capita per annum by
such indemnities.
The result is going to be that
some of them Germans will then
begin to figure how maybe II was
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
Czechs Extend Power
OF President, Take Land

Pra Prague-Czecho-Slov Is giving
greater power to President Masaryk.
constitutional restrictions which de-
prfved him OF the right to name and
dismiss cabinet ministers and to make
removed.
Estates OF 900 acres that can he
cultivated and wooded land OF 80
acres Is being purchased by the state
and redistributed. Under this order
a half million acres of cultivated land
and a billion and a half acres Of
wooded land has been taken for dis
tribution among 5000 familieG
The Washington herald., 1919-06-01
HATE TEACHER, JAP,
SCHOOL GIRLS STRIKE

Tokio-Japanese schoole girls have
adopted the strike as a means ~
forcing removal OF a school head
they do not like. He is President
Morishita Of the high school at Mis-
hima-MachL and so unpopular IL he
that not one Of the ninety EIrls
would go TO school on the day they
called the strike.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1919-04-15
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The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1919-04-15
THE MOST. DANGEROUS
OF ALL DISEASES

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