The Mount Holly news., 1919-04-15

Idnky Fiuure.
scornfully rejected the quartet of ad.
mirers. The collective rejection was
as follows:
You go about trying to via a girls
affections just as a boilermaker would
operate typewriter. Think I'll marry
a man with no more initiative than
you? I should say not. emphatically
/ want husband who gets an idea
now and then. The fellow who thinks
up something new in the way of court
ing a girl is the one that catches me.
See?"
Then the Mutual Consolation club
came into being. Each of the four dis
covered simultaneously that the 9TH
ers were after the fair Matte. 1t hap
pened that they came together just out
side the Melvoude residence at the ton
of Turnip Hill.
Tom Grayson was pee..lg over n
long box of roses. Fred Hooper was
Juggling a chatting dish he had procured
from Chicago mail order house. Sam
Upkins puffed under the weight of a
table lamp, while Albert Terry looked
sheepish because all he had to offer
to the god of love was tickets to the
county fair, and they didn't make
much of showing in his vest pocket.
They compared notes and were
about to draw lots or flip a coin to
decide which of them should have the
honor of keeping his engagement for
the evening with the idol of their
hearts when the idol in question ap-
peared on the porch and delivered the
extemporaneous address quoted above.
Thereupon the brideseekers adjourn
ed to the insurance office of Sam
Upkins, at the foot Of Turnip Hill, and
the roses were put to repose in the
garbage can, while the chatting dish
came into use as an ash tray; the lamp
fulfilled its mission by dispelling the
gloom which was fast gathering in the
Office and in their breasts, and the
fair tickets were utilized to carry fire
from the one match which the quartet
possessed to the cigars which furnish
ed the ashes which were deposited in
the chatting dish.
By mutual consent each of the four
desirables detailed his journey along
the brink of matrimony in quest of a
place to plunge in. Each had under.
gone the same experiences, invested
! in the same presents for the elusive
Matte, and met with the same re-
bluffs.
Under the self-constituted presidency
of Mr.. Terry the club thereupon took
upon itself the task of discovering a
key to the paddock on Matte Mel.
voude's heart.
( "She wants some one who has in
ventive genius-some one who has
an idea," said Terry, addressing
his fellow members ''Thereupon, II
behooves us to collaborate and find
some novel way to her affections
When we have come upon a scheme
that looks feasible, we will hold a lot.
terry and the lucky man will be al,
lowed to try, without interference
from the rest, to win the prize on
Turnip Hill. If the scheme fails, we
will try another, using the lottery
again. In that way none of us will en-
croach on the preserve of the other.
and one of us ought 70 make our
dream of happiness come true. Collab-
oration-that's it."
The club adjourned to the next day,
when each of the members was to sub
NIT HIS plan for the capitulation of
Matte Melvoude.
Promptly at two o'clock in the aft
ernoon Messrs. Grayson, Hooper, Up
kins and Terry assembled in the in
surance office. Each of them looked
eXpectant, for, having failed t.
evolve an idea of his own, each ex-
pected there would be three other
plans submitted.
When the session was called to or
der and the deplorable situation be-
came known, four bright smiles turned
to four detected frowns, and four pipes
were lighted and eight feet deposited
on the mahogany table.
"What's to be dOneT' inquired Pres
ident Terry. "Have none of us any ini-
tiative2 Are we going to let this girl
escape marriage with one of us four
most desirable men in the village? Are
we going to let her wear her life
away, her beauty and charms unappre-
ciated, in that sordid candy factoryT'
The other three drew long and CUR
glingly on their pipes and wreathed
themselves in smoke and said moth
ing.
Finally Grayson reached out and
plueked the Abonvale Weekly Times
from the table.
Il tell you, I'm about ready TO give
up." he announced. and to prove he