davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20


 The male end of the sketch al ways expects the female end of the sketch to do the economizing for the family.
 Epidermis is epidermis. And yet we throw flowers at a nude female dancer when we would throw eggs at nude male dancer.
 When you are arguing you are of fering Convincing Logic. But when the other fellow is arguing he is offering Hot Air and Tommyrot
 One way to get through life pleas antly is to bear in mind that wo- man never forgets compliment and a man never forgets a knock Many a husband has to dry his face on his shirt because his wife is saving all of her good towels in case she happens to have company. It isn't hard to find out wo- mans real age Just ask one of the woman's women friends. Anyway, we would rather listen to a man bragging about what he
  about what he is going to do Any time a man comes around and begins telling you what smart man you are and how everybody has a good word for you, you can save a lot of time and hot air by pulling put your wad of Jack and asking how much he wants to barrow. After you have been over the jumps for a while you will discover that you have to pretend to use more force to kiss young widow than you do to kiss young maiden. Another reason why a man can't understand a woman is because a woman will wear furs and a jabot in Summer and will have her neck and chest bare in Winter
 The reason why man is afraid 70 go out in the rain to Church on Sunday night is because a blizzard couldn't keep him away from a leg show on Monday night
 Every time you hear of some oth- ar man making good you are re- minded of the fact that some men have all the luck. But the fact of he matter is that the other fellow got there with both feet while you were trying to decide which was the best foot to put forward
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
RECLAIMING CRIPPLED SOLDIERS.
lNeW York World.D ]

The work already dore by the Federal Board of Vocational Education in re-educating and placing disabled soldiers, sailors and marines gives good of it's capacity for solving of the press ing problems of peace By Feb. 15, three nths after the signing of the armstice the board in the service, of which 9020 reported to it from hos ptals 4,494 from the Red Cross and 6,552 from the War Risk Insurance Bureau.
 To to industry the thousands of men crippled in war, training them to the sef-supporting and finding jobs for them within the range of their i'm paired physical ability is obviously chief the country they have served faithfully Certainly there is present problem of education comparing with it in urgency in sentiment, and ti;ere will be general satisfaction is already we'll in hand. Not only have these victims of wars devastation given up valuable time that would nave been devoted to getting start in trade prcfes sion, but they with handicap of wounds and disability to have their way made smooth by every aid that be given them.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Woman's Statement
 Will Help Juneau

"T hated cooking because what. ever I ate gave me sour stomach and a bloated feeling. I drank hot water and olive oil by the gallon. Nothing helped until tried simple buckthorn bark, glycerine, etc, as mixed in Adler-i-ka" Because 1t hushes the ENTIRE bowel tract completely. Adler-i-ka relieves ANY CASE sour stomach, gas or consti- patton and prevents appendicitis. The INSTANT action is surprising.
 BUTlER-M -MAURo ( CO.,. 0ruoolsts
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
AT LEAST HE DID IT.

Scklers for historical accuracy enter objection to attributing John sherman authorship of the slogan gf specie resumption days 'The way to resume IS to resume Admirers of Horace Greeley assert that it was his fertility of expression that produced it. Claim is laid it's parentage behalf of other con tempora ries. But it John Sherman who said II last and the time that action was imperative. Not only did he say it. but he acted it by resuming the payment of specie.
 So too, did De Lesseps and others essay the build ing the Panama Canal but not until the genius or GoethaIs and Gorgas into play the deed ac- complished.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

they chosen to be guardians of our municipal affairs year all will be well in Juneau
 The next thing to be done is to register and vote for Mr Gray and the others the Citizens ticket Every voting citizen this city should qualify to obecme a April 1st. That much is deot that every one to his community.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
AFTER THE DANCE.

Or evening theatre parties, re-
 member that the Alaska Grill is
 prepared to furnish you any variety of good things to eat. See Tom" about it ahead of time and have it ready for you after the entertain ment.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

The House of Representatives did simple justice to the First and Third Divisions yesterday when 1t added three members to the Committee on Ways and Means and assigned Representatives Casey Davies and Ray to that committee.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
LEAVES HIS POST.

MEXICO CITY, March 17.-Dr. Luis J. Santamaria, who has been serving here in the capacity of Charge d'Affaires for Cuba has gone to Havana leaving that republic without diplomatic representative in Mexico.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Located

Dear Luke: You asked what had become of the o. f soldier who used to have to eat hardtack. Well, he is right here in France with the Thirty seventh Division. We ate Carned Bill and Hard Tack on all our drives. and it tasted like chickens and dumplings.- J. H. Whit, Souvegny, France)
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Ouch!
 The agent who was out selling Bunkem's history of the great war returned to the office in the even ing with look of disgust on his face.
 Well" said the Boss. Did you get any orders today?''
 "Yes," replied the Agent, q got two orders. One man ordered me to get out, and another man ordered me to stay out
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

the Mexican government has recog- nized the new Ebert government of Germany. No official announcement 10 that effct has been made.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

It is interesting to that the two South Ameri- can republics that nearest to taking sides with the Germans in the against human liberty Chile and Argentina-are the of rampant Bol- shevist red terrorism
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Gets More Out of 1t

That fellow is always trying to get the most for his money, isn't he?" said Brown
 "Yes," replied Jones. When he has to go anywhere he always takes slow train in preference to an ex- press"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
MEXICO RECOGNIZES
 GERMAN REPUBLIC

MEXICO CITY, March 17.-Senor GarLa Perez, Under Secretary of Foreign Relations, is quoted by the news paper Excelsior as saying that
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Cur neighbor across the Indiana lipe Will H. Hays asserts that his party declared war, fought all the battles, killed all the Germans and displayed all the bravery The miserable Democrats made all the mis, akes wasted all the money and blamed near losing the contest. The campaign of 1920 is therefore u be accepted as formally opeied--CIn cinnat Enquirer.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

European newspapers are asking what substitute the Republican Senators have for the Constitution of the League of Nations None, of course That is of the advantages of being Republican Senator Nothing but opposition is expected.-New York World.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

If there is grating going among those Of any machine" or otherwise crime is being committed and the Grand Jury should know of it. If there is no erafting it is a crime talk whisper charges Of grating" These are times for to act men S parts
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Paderewski irritably asks whether Boshevism can be fought with the Bible. We don't know, but we think the bath tub would completely terrorize these highly imperfect abutoners.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Paw Knows Everything Willie-Paw, what are the Bolsne' wiki?
 Paw-They are a branch of the l. w. W's my son. They are fellows who are trying to invent a Govern ment that will enable man to live without working, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
BITS OF BY- PLAY Dy Luke xcLuks
 r1e. -% Copyright by CineilAaH Enquirer

Cheer Up! Son, try to be a cheerful scout, And bear in mind these few snort lines; Don't tell your woes or you'll find out That hard luck loves the man who whines.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Having drited ice foe across the longitude md latitude of Kennan Land in the Arctic regions, Sorker Storkerson, explorer. without using single instrument reached the conclusion that the land water.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

It is said that the Germans short of coal, and considering their wanton destruction of French coal mines. would say that another flock of chickens had come home roost.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

It is quite possible for a man to without having wheels in his head.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

The thing that makes us so mad we want to fight sometimes scares us so that it takes all the fight out of us
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

How simple explanations of great things. Now, instance the shiver producing tales the pagan cpuiture of American soldiers the Brest camp In vestigation shows that the author, nurse, lied like sixty that's all.-Cincnnati Enquirer
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Gosh!

We were just wondering what Car rie Beer, of Cedar Grove, Ind, has been carrying since the State went dry.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
The Reason

He is hustler, and he earns Big money, does John Jones; When he finds stumbling blocks, h.
 turns
 Them into stepping stones.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

The Swiss Peace Society has adopted a resolution in favor of Swtzerland's adhesion the League of Nations If records count for anything, Switzerland ought be the sheet anchor and right bower of any peace league.-New York World.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Help!

Headline in Sawyer's Corner fO) Courier.
 MT. Ed. Baxter Shot In Head. Amputation May Be Necessary.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Notice

Better take an um-ber-ella with you when you go to Tullahoma, Tenn. You'll always find a Rainey Day there.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Yeast used in Germany a substitute for meat, gays exchange It ought to result in rising gen. eration all right-Detrot Free Press.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

B. B. Beebe is the social worker in the Crown Overall factory in Gin cinnati.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

You never can tell Many a fel ow who never took chance in his life will borrow your umbrella.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
The Tiaht Wad

While everybody knows that he Has coin in all the banks;
 When asked to give to charity, He always gives his thanks.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Search usI

Doc Lewstadcr wants to know how the hex a feller is gonna know when Spring is here when there will. be no Book Bree signs to tip him off.
 Another pertinent query is: Will they quit making pocked knives with corkscrews in them?
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

The Pessimist He certainly
 Gives me a pain; He always says: "It looks like rain"
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Names Is Names
Luke McLuke Says

o. B. Fuller lives in Danville, Va
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
Quaker Quips
Philadelphia Record)

Philadelphia Record) It is never too late to mend, but hat is no reason why you shouldn't begin.
 The clinging nature of some peo- ole is illustrated by the way they hold on to dollar.
 Even when his predictions are fair he Government prognosticator has Q weather many a storm.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
A Regular Bee Hive

B. B. Bucks and B. B. Bobbs are not such much, after all. Miss
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20
w ell, Well

Things are as they should be in Payne. Ohio. C. Sharp is profess sor of music in the Payne public schools.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Our Daily Special If Some Men Didn't Talk Shop They Couldn't Talk At All.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Authorized Local Agents Doup,as and Treadwell, Guy Smith; Thane, l.. O. Peabody: Perseverance, R. o. Egeland
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Entered as second class matter November 1912, at the postoice Juneau Alaska, under the Act of March 3, 1879.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

Published every evening except Sunday by the EMPIRE PRINTING COMPANY. at Second and Main Streets Juneau Alaska.
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

I
The Alaska daily empire., 1919-03-20

re1enbone Tor Editorial and Business Offices, 37
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
- INVESTIGATE THE ELECTION

N AYOR WILSON has expressed desire for an inves- MI gaton of the methods by which the last election certainly right in supposing that in vesgaton needed Here three matters that might be immediately covered.
 Somebody took collection the police department many gave? Was the person who received authorized collector? Who to him?
 corrupt practices act makes several requirements.
 The person collects money from policeman must be publicly accredited for the collection. Those who give must publicly reported
 Looking over returns by the manag ed Mayor Wilson's campaign, the of policemen spicuous by their absence Something is wrong.
 What has been said about police contributions applies equally contributions taken from the fire department Who made the collection? Who gave to it? Why have the gvers reported Corrupt Practices requires?
 third matter. It asserted that just before the election there understanding under which, the event the of teachers firemen policemen should receive pay increases.
 The Corrupt Practices Act provides especially against conditions whereby public servants might ally themselves with office seeker election conspiracy by which all might profit The of that understanding might be nvestga ed in a hearing under the Corrupt Practices Act.
 Here a statue not very modern and not very good which nevertheless does attempt to procure decency the conduct of elections. Its terms ignored it's dsobeyed in every election.
 It is true that both all parties 0 blame. also true that elections becoming increasingly corrupt outright purchase and bargains of corruption the of money being expended increasing year year. until this year. the campaign of Mayor Wilson and his associates confesses to a cost of $3OOOO
 wi be discovered in the long that the state will fer less by from the of alien Red than it will suffer from this habitual continuing disease of political corrupon which good men counenance because they do not the must follow such decay in the body of the state.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
Continued from First Two Columns)

esons and has,
  her tour This is quite true. Eight hours long enough fer teacher work change could be thought of that would make longer day Perhaps it should be shorter. The form includes the employment of teachers be necessary to do the york; just compensation Something wrong with school plant which functions than 9O hours year. That matter entirely separate from teachers and their pay.
 ever try to teach a hot sonek kinds of e
 This is entitled to consideration. tempera- ure scale from month to another. Upon how hot days children taught in May and ember. Surely some but the hot would frequent in July and August The small child certainly not be placed under undue strain cold weather weather
 less holidays, 1eass a in weeksh with eight a and a
 All of which is soundy putt the teacher not work than eight hour day. and ought to have month vacaton but also it does hour day. is4 days year, is not doing quite justice to young America.
 The two things not tied together. Children get education, without submitting teachers to injustice Indeed such system would end the hundred injustice to which teachers have been being jected.
 thosew havet money not home all
 Nor need they Given system with a month of midsum- vacaon the children of such parents might readily the other monh But anyhow doesn't qui6 fair the of children to the of comparatively poor people who make the tax paying body to string out the education of the child dragging way.
 holidays school Sat
 
 day
 That's days seems long, But What SHOULD the school year be What the happy That's the question. will do harm to think over
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
18TH CONVENTION
 OF RIVERS AND HARBOR CONGRESS

The 18th convention of the Ma tiona1 Rivers and Harbors Congress, which is to be held in Washington on the 9th, 10th and 11th of December, promises to be one of largest, as it will undoubtedly be the most import ant meeting in the history of the or ganization.
 Canada has again taken up the en- largement of the WeIland Canal, which connectes Lake Erie with Lake Ontario. The locks in the present canal are 4 feet deep, but the new locks are 800 feet long, 80 feet wide and 30 feet deep. A strong move ment is under way in the West and Northwest to have the United States join with the Dominion of Canada in building a 3O-foot channel down the St. Lawrence to tidewater at Mon treal. That would carry ocean navi- gation into the heart of the continent and make seaports out of all the ports on the Great Lakes. It is quite nat ural, therefore, that the plan is en- thusiastically advocated in the West and Northwest.
 It is quite as natural, also, that it is opposed with equal, or even greater enthusiasm in the East, and especi- ally by the city and state of New York. There is pretty general agree nent that it was the building of the Erie Canal that gave New York the position of supremacy 1t has held for so long. At any rate the people of New York believed that an adequate waterway between the Great Lakes and the Hudson was vital to the maintenance of their commercial su- premacy, and they believed it hard enough to spend nearly S155, 900, 900 on the enlargement of the Erie Canal, the locks in which are now 12 feet deep.
 Like all the rest of us, the people of New York want all the business they can get, and, because they think, and with good reason, that a 30foot channel down the St. Law renee would not only benefit Mon trea1 but take a great amount of bus mess away from the port of New York, they are unanimously, enthusi- astically, and it is safe to say, even violently, opposing the plan, Or at any rate they oppose any participa- ton therein by the government of the United States.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
D'ANNyNzIO MAY TAKE
 DALMATIA

(Continued From Page One.)
 the reports state, and among a cer- tain element there seems to be a de- sire to make D'Annunzio president of Italy.
 Some well informed quarters be- lieve D'Annunzio merely desires to annex Dalmatia for Italy and has no republican ambitions. Whatever his attitude may be on this question, however, there appears to be no doubt that he has not abandoned his plans of aggression in the Adriatic.
 Today's London dispatches supple nent direct advices from Rome re- ceived on Friday night which report ed the American embassy in the Ital- ian capital actively engaged in watch ing the situation in Italy, which was reported as holding the possibility of serious developments from hour to hour, as regarded both Italy proper and the Dalmatian coast.
 The city of Venice, to which Naval Attache Reeves has gone to report on conditions, is only about 75 miles from Plume by the water route and nearer yet by the land lines. The possibility of a move into Istria by Gabrielle DAnnunzio was mentioned in recent advices, in which case the prediction was made whole divisions of Italian regulars would be likely to follow him. An Istrian move would take the insurgent poet to the bor- ders of Venetia in which Venice lies.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
BANKRUPTCY
 COURT HAS
 BUSY SESSION

A petition in bankruptcy was filed this morning by Adolph J. Newman and Nathaniel M. Gray individually and as members of the partnership of Newman & Gray.
 Their liabilities are S1,196.72 and assets, $825.
 The principal creditors are the Cen traI Plumbers Supply company, $299.27; H. Mueller Mfg. Go, New ' orlz, S125.25; Harriet E. Gray, 152S Fairfield avenue, $500; and c. w. Heilaux, New York, $13S.
 The assets consist of stock in trade $500, and debts due on open account, s325.
 In the hearing on the final ac- counting of the trustee of the estate of Edward T. Sheeran, of Stamford, dend of 19 per cent was declared on all claims. The trustee had previous ly paid a dividend of 25 per cent.
 At the first meeting of the credi- tors of the estate of Finton J. Kelly, who recently filed a second petition in bankruptcy, to free himself of a judgment which John c. Lynch had obtained against him. it was an- nounced that an agreement had been reached between the parties and a petition would be filed next week asking that the bankruptcy proceed ings be dismissed.
 There was no opposition to the petition of Richard Ffnalei for dis charge in bankruptcy, and the dis charge was recommended by Referee John w. Banks.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
STONE 10 BE LAID
 BY BISHOP
Clergymen of City to Attend Ceremony at St.
 Luke's

Right Rev. ChauLcey B. Brewster, DID,, Bishop of Connecticut, will lay the corner stone of the new St. Luke s church on the corner of Connecticut and Wilmot avenues, at 2:30 o'clock tomorrow afternoon. All the clergy men of the various parishes of the city and also a number of the clergy from the different parts of the state will be present.
 The church choir augmented by other -choruses from various parishes in the city, led by Alvin c. Breul. will give a musical program. The Hon. Burton Mansfield will make an address following the ceremonies. Rev. William H. Jepson, pastor of the church, which is now situated on Stratford avenue, has charge of the program.
 The new church has been under construction for several months. It is of Gothic architecture. built of white stone and a wire cut brick. The rectory opposite the corner is also well under way. Both buildings, it is expected, will be ready for occu- pancy about Easter time.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-11-22
GERMAN BARK IS IN DISTRESS
 OFF HALIFAX
First From Country to Call For Help Since End
 of War.

Halifax, Nov. 22.---The four-masted bark Paul, bound from Hamburg for Philadelphia, is in distress $50 miles southeast of Halifax, according to wireless messages received here to- day from the steamer Winnifredian n. The message read:
 Latitude 43.O1, longitude 55.13. Win nifredian stood by four-masted bark Paul of Hamburg showing German colors. Bark has lost fore, main and mizzen masts. All sails and boats gone. Did not wish to abandon and ask for tow. Winnifredian could not tow and Paul asks that tug be sent from Halifax. Winnifredian proceed ing on voyage"
 Efforts are being made here to pro- vide assistance for the disabled ship. A wireless message telling of her con- dftfon has been sent broadcast in the hope that some steamer will be able to render the assistance.
 So far as is known here the Paul is the first German vessel to appeal for assistance in the North Atlantic since the war began
 A cruiser was sent from here to the assistance of the Paul