The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1919-10-03
ring LARDNER SAYS AMERICAN
LEAGUE TURNED AGAINST ITSELF
Washington Gleason Wing Would Catch For
Manager Started Left Handed Pitcher
Because Ivy Hits Left Handed-Then Rariden Broke Up
Gleason's Strategy.
(eY RING w. LARpNER.)

l6r KING w. LAhON6hJ
Cincinnati. o., Oct. 2.-Gents: The
biggest scandal of a big year of base
ball scandals was perpetrated down
here this afternoon when American
league turned against itself and beat
the White Sox out of the second game
of the present horror. Whoever is
running the serious went and hired Mr..
Announcer at the Washington ball
park to come and announc for this
serious things he was a fair minded
American Lacquer and what does he
do today but announce Mr.. Ivy Wingo
as the catcher for the Reds and fool a
Mr. Gleason into thinking Mr.. Ivy was
going to catch and he hits left handed.
so Mr.. Kid started left hand pitcher
instead of going through with his
original plan which was to pitch Mr..
Red Fa'oer.
Before the mistake could be recti-
fled. Mr.. Game started. If / was run
ing an event as big as this. would
try and get loyal Mr.. Announcer who
would announce the right Mr.. Catcher
and not cross up his own league and
as far as that is concerned. I could
OF got down tsere and told the peo-
pie the right Mr.. Catcher who was
going to catch and maybe nobody could
Of heard sne but at least they wouldn't
of had to 80 to the expense getting
a Mr.. Man from Washington to an
nounce the wrong catcher as some
other goof is paying my expenses down
here.
That was the first break of the
r~a nd he tv;1I NTv-
Score Board which could not register
strikes. This was fatal. For instance
in the 4th inning up come Mr.. Morris
Rath and Mr.. Williams kept pitching
to him and pitching to Mr. Rath and
had him struck out at least a dozen
times but Mr.. Evans would look up at
Mr.. Score Board and no strikes was
registered there. so Mr.. Evans finely
got sick OF looking at the left side
of Mr.. Morris's profile and said "You
walk. Mr. SO Mr.. Morris had to walk
and say think you Mr.. Empire as an
umpire is c Car in event of this
kind The next bird who have forgot
his name and anyway it don't make no
difference and besides that he got out.
A man named Mr.. Groh and a man
named Mr.. Roush kept their bat on
their shoulder and watched the score
board and next thing you know. they
was both misters on base and then Mr..
Larry Kopf popped one up between
Messrs- Felsch and jackson for three
bases, and Mr.. Me took a long nap
and the next. time looked at Mr..
Score Board, some club had three runs
which have ~nicknamed Mr.. Tallies.
Coming down in friendly but ted
ious Mr.. Taxicab after the game some
body asked me what / though about
Mr.. Game. So l said l didn't see the
game for from where I set Mr.. as
where we was the Mr.. Umpires looked
like so many Mr.. Ants there although
I know them all personally and they
are not ants though their best friend
couldn't say they wasn't some kind of
insect.
From baseball standpoint if there
Is any such thing the thing that inn
pressed me most was Mr.. Felsch who
I have decided that the minute we get
back TO old Chi. we will have his first
name changed from Mr.. Happy to Mr.
Lucky. The first three OF four times
Mr.. Felsch come up. Mr.. Felsch sac
rifices and then allowed sudden Mr.
Felsch pepper up a fly to Mr.. Roush
vile Mr.. Weaver was lettering on third
base and Mr.. Roush seems to have
caught IL vile facing Kentucky and if
he hadn't of why Mr.. Felsch could of
scored three times would of tied up
the game. Later in Mr.. Sth inning
up come Mr.. Lucky again with Mr.
Jackson on the keystone sack and
knocked down Mr.. Groh but when Mr.
Groh got up. Mr.. II. Groh had the
baseball in his hands and threw IL
pver TO the first Mr.. Baseman who I
have forgot his name but speaking of
names IL will be Mr.. Lucky Felsch
hereafter far as Mr.. Me is concerned
There is a wild rumor around here
tonight that Mr.. Gleason wants the
fourth inning eliminated for the rest
Of the serious and I don't care which
inning they do cut out as long rs they
cut out one or maybe win a game which
will merely elongate the serious so
whatever happens we are the Mr..
Losers.
In the 7th inning effigy was threw
put OF a airship and landed on the
middle of Mr.. Diamond and for a
minute I hoped it was me but it turn
ed out different
7 don't know who was playing but I
think 1t was Columbus and Ohio any
way / think Mr.. Ohio won Pay your
war tax as you pass out
copyright 1919 by Dell Syadicate)