The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-11-02
The Funniest Men That Euer Lived
Sketches Eccntrc
ties Their FOlies and Their FOibles.
yRoITN LYNDEHA

your face and watch thoughts carefully
from under the brim of it as they come
toward you. If a thought that seems
as If 1t were going to be too profound
tries to crawl up on you, shoe it away"
Marquis goes on to tell which thoughts
are easiest and / could quote him at
length, greatly to your enlightenment but
am not trying to transform you into a
scientific fisherman. | am merely en-
deavoring to prove what a thoroughly
scientific fisherman Marquis is, and. in
so doing, to show that his account Of
Mr. lIoskins' career compels belief.
This particular bullhead we caught
and tanned when we were about u years
Old he informs us. land named him Mr.
Hoskins because of his facial resemblance
to a neghbor."
In those days the Marquis Menage-or
should l not say the Marquis menagerie?
consisted of "a black dog. a crow,
black and orange cat, a brown dog called
Gustavus Adolphus, after the Terrible
Swede of that name, and an owl known
as the Duchesse de Montpensier," not to
mention Mr.. Hoskins and Marquis.
AS we learn, Mr.. Hoslxns dwelt in an
old washboiler under maple tree" and
1t was worth the price of admission just
to watch Marquis feeding his family
The dogs, the cat the crow. and the
EMMY expectant, in row under he
maple tree and catch the bits of meat
in their mouths or beaks" and lin ten
days Mr.. Hoskins could catch as well as
any Of them
Now comes the serious part, and yet
not too appalling strain on credulitv for
you know how bullheads are They enjoy
an aquatic existence, but a change of
scene affects them little. Says Marquis.
Otten we have caught a bushel or so of
bullheads and driven home with them
five or six miles, At the journeys end.
they would be stiff and caked with dried
mud and dust, and to all appearances
dead But throw them into a barrel of
water. and in a few minutes thew were
swimming around as if nothing had hap
pened, srinning over the top of the bar
rel and begging for more worms and
hooks and lead sinkers."
MIR. Eoskins possessed this gift in an
degree One night thirsty COW over
turned MS washboiler and emptied Mr..
Hoskins out, and when visited next
morning, the poor fellow seemed dead.
SO Marquis dug a hole and dumped him
IN But, as the truthful narrative con-
lnues before We had him covered a
summer rain came up and we sought
shelter. couple of hours later we re-
turned to find the hole filled with water
anu llm Hopping about in it and con-
tentedly eating an angle worm.
Here [ pause to twaddle for mo-
ment about the difference between tai
ent and genius. Genius is natural en-
downment forked over by destiny. You
can't acquire it, Talent is the mere
germ of an endowment--it must be
cultivated. Mr. Hoskins, as it strikes
me. was not a fish of genius. but only
a fish of talent Hence MARQUIS de
termination TO put him through a
course of sprouts and watch results
IF he could live out of water for two
or three hours why not for a whole
day%"
BY degrees Marquis increased the
time and when September came. Mr..
Hoskins could stay out from 7 in the
morning until in the evening"" and
in January he began to experience. or
at least to affect, a repugnance to-
ward being in water at ALL" At that
stage, Mr.. Hoskins lived indoors nest
ing in box of sawdust. "Stil, how
ever, he would sometimes awake dur
ing the night and cry for drink, and
we insisted on weekly bath"
NESTED IN WARM ASHES.
Nothing could be more touching than
Marquis sweet devotion to Mr.. Hos
kins. One cold night Hoskins "felt
cold and 'leaped to the hearth OF the
Kitchen range" and worked himself in
among the warm ashes" Says MARQUIS.
After that we always put him to bed
with hot water bottle, and we re-