Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-01-09
Lite'S Problems
Are Discussed

II Il
set me as a seal upon thine
heart, as a seal upon thine arms;
for love is storing as death, jeal-
ousy is cruel as the grave"
That verse of exquisite poetry
came into my mind the other day
after receiving a letter from a girl,
in which she confessed that she
suffered tortures of jealousy.
She says: will you please tell
me what can overcome my pet fault,
jealousy?
Il am past twenty years of age"
she goes on, "and should have bet
ter sense, but l cannot seem to con-
quer this dreadful enemy.
I'm order to give you an idea of
how it affects me, l will tell you
some of the things of which L am
jealous-friends. both men and
women; favors bestowed on others,
attention to anyone except myself.
You see, l am not sparing my
self; for ! know only too well that
L am a victim of consuming ieal-
ousy. and am only too anxious to
overcome it.
II know, too, that I am Jealous
lots of times when l have no cause.
For instance, l am jealons at times
of some person paying attention
to another when l haze no pos
sible right to expect it for myself.
You see how hopeless l am, but
do hope you will be able to help me-
Might l add that l never, or at
least very seldom-for l may as
we'll be truthful-give exhibitions of
my jealousy? 1 succeed pretty well
in concealing it, But, oh, if 1 only
knew some way of overcoming it!
FLORA"
Poor, little "Girl with the Green
Eyes" your letter gave me a differ
ent idea of jealousy from any L had
ever held before, and I Immediately
sat down and began to think about
it.
What is jealousy anyway? 1t is
evidently not one of our ills of the
flesh, neither n disease of the mind;
but rather of the emotions-one of
those ailments which are psyche
logical and which grow by indul-
gence.
Why do you feel jealous of your
friends? Because you think you are
losing something that should belong
to you. Why are you jealous of
favors bestowed on others? Because
you want to be the recipient of all
the favors that are being passed
around. Why do you feel injured
when you see some one in whom
YOU have no interest paying atten-
ton to another to whom you are
equally indifferent? Because you
want all the attention that any one
has to give.
Those are the only conclusions to
be drawn from your statements, but
they are so absurd that you will
laugh when you see them. You will
say: mo; of course I do not mean
that. 1t is, just that when 1 see
those things. L feel jealous in spite
of myself"
Let's analyze the subject further.
Jealousy is a form of covetousness,
and covetousness leads to miserli-
ness. 1t is craving sense of pos
session. The reason some people
are misers and some are inordin-
ately jealous is because they have a
sense of lacking something.
You, my dear, do not see your
self in a true perspective. You need
a re-appraisal of yourself. Your
sense of proportion is faulty. Does
this seem vague and cryptic?
Well, consider the matter more
fully. You are jealous of others for
possessing qualities that you envy,
powers of attraction that you fancy
are denied you. Did you ever stop
to think that at the same time they
may be envying you for qualities or
charms they feel are not theirs?
You are overlooking and belit-
tling your own possessions; namely,
your gifts, your talents, your good
qualities, your charm of appear
ance or personality. A mistake.
You should rejoice in these things
and recognize them.
You only want what is your own.
do you not? Then realize that you
have within yourself the power to
draw to you everything that is truly
your own. But you will say: Then
why do / not do so?" 1t is because
you put the wall of an irrational
jealously between them and you.
You may think you conceal it, but
what we conceal we always reveal
in one way or another
1t is natural and right to wish
others to think well of you; but you
would not care to be embarrassed
! by drawing to yourself a host of
| friends who were entirely uncon-
genial, or to be pursued by the love
which means nothing. You only
want what is your own, what is
freely and spontaneously given you
that which your individuality
seeks and Graves and needs. You
| cannot coerce love or friendship,
and then tack them down in the
| effort to hold them.
So cultivate a more fiattering and
therefore truer opinion of yourself.
You reserve for yourself the right
| to select your own friends, and to
'bestow favors on whom you choose;
| give others the same freedom. And
whenever the demon of jealousy
| whispers to you laugh at 1t. assert
that you are quite free from its in
| fuence-and ultimately you will be.