davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
DEDIYSTyLNLNG
.LAIQY TALL e.
~ MARY 0AHAN BONNER
THE PUNcTUAL PARROT.

81 am punctual," said the parrot.
1T am glad you are If it is nice
thing to be- said the canary bird.
ut is a very nice thing to be-" said
the parrot "It Is most extremely nice
otherwise wouldn't be such a
thing"
II see, 1 see," said the canary bird,
blinking his little bead-like eyes.
II know you see," said the parrot.
swell, it was very wise of me and
nice of me-" said the canary bird,
chirping cheerfully, "to say that was
glad you were 1t If 1t was nice to be.
I didn't know what to say at first, or
which thing to say first.
II thought of two things. l might
have said, I'm glad you are If 1t is a
nice thing to be-"
"That Is just what you did say" the
parrot said in a shrill voice.
* know it," said the canary bird.
"But I was going to add that l could
have said something else if / had not
said that"
ut sounds a little mixed-up," said
the parrot.
"It's not If you will listen," remark
ed the canary bird, putting his head
on one side.
II will listen," said the parrot.
II might have said that / was sorry
you were such thing If it were not
a nice thing to be. Because I didn't
know whether you were glad or sorry
you were whatever you are-punc-
tual."
"Now understand" said the parrot.
"You were being a very wise young
bird. Well, / am glad I am punctual.
And punctual is a word which means
on time.
II am on time in everything do. ]
believe in being on time, in fact"
:, II don't see," remarked the canary
bird, "how you are on time in every
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
HEAD HUNTER IN
AMERICAN ARMY

his bedside with fruit and an offer
to send home any messages he might
wish delivered. The man, unusually
big and dark, accepted the fruit CRATE
fully, but assured her that he would
be we'll enough himself to write soon
to his sister, his only living relative.
Sings Weird Songs.
And he kept his word in spite of
the five bayonet wounds which healed
so rapidly that all the doctors of the
hospital marveled at the remarkable
constitution Of the darlz-skinned man.
The patient was soon convalescent.
and the first place he visited was the
Red Cross recreation hut. Some one
was playing the piano, as usual, and
during the afternoon one of the men,
bers Of the sanitary corps sang one Of
Burley's negro songs, deep River"
Philipo offered to sing the song in the
original and astounded his audience
with a weird version full of minor
notes and harmonies that made shiv-
ers run up and down susceptible
backs.
And thereafter the Filipino insisted
on entertaining gatherings in the rec
reation hut each afternoon with wild
songs and curious chants and recita-
tons. Some of these were very spicy
tales indeed of the underworld and it's
denizens, and finally the Moro waxed
confidential and began telling tales
of the wilds of the Philippine Islands
and the days when he had hunted
heads.
The colonel of the hospital, attract
ed by the reports of these seances,
dropped in one afternoon to listen.
81 don't believe he's a Moro at ALL"
he announced. Hes too tall. served
in the Philippines and 1 never saw bus
two Moros as tall as that man."
Just then the Filipino came up and
saluted the colonel.
Excuse, SIR" he said in his broken
English. Perhaps you remember me?
I know you in the Philippine Islands,,
s'By George, I'll have to take it all
back" admitted the colonel. "He's
one of the two men was speaking of.
He comes from the head-hunting
tribe, eli right He became very much
attached to one of our soldiers, who
taught him English. But never ex-
pected to meet him in France or wear
ing the uniform of an American SOL
der"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
His Cure of Shell Shock Cases in
France AStoniSheS
Physicians.
never STUDIED MEDICINE
Sergeant AccompIshes Wonderful Re-
suits in Treatment of Patients Suf-
fering From Nervous Attic
tions-Says He Is Not
Hypnotist.

PariS-"Doctor" Van isn't a doctor
feally-that is, he has never been In
side a medical school. He is not a COM
missioned officer, either. Two days
after war was declared in America he
enlisted in one of the cities of the mid
Gle West and came over as a private.
He is a sergeant now. His experiences
that In the front line and then in vari-
Gus camps in France until he was sent
to base hospital as a patient-would
fill several diaries, If he keeps such
things, which I doubt.
But there are a great many men in
that base hospital who owe their re-
turning health to him after they had
been in bed for weeks, and even
months.
He was out of bed only day or so
himself when he came across two boys
in one of the wards who had been in
the hospital since April. They had been
shell shocked, and in all those months,
from April to September, they had
grown scarcely any better.
Asks Leave to Try.
Captain" Sergeant Van said one
morning to the doctor in charge of the
ward, "do you mind if I see what i
can do for those men there? / think
l may be able to help them out bit if
you don't mind"
"Oh, go ahead, Van," the captain
agreed. do anything you blame
please"
Next morning on his rounds the cap
tain stopped beside the bed of the first
of the two men who had been shell
shocked.
"How's it coming this morning,
boys?" he asked.
''F-f-fine, sir" was the answer, a lit
tie unsteadily given, perhaps, but the
captain did not notice that. He sat
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

thing you do-for when you are on
your perch you eat and often shrek
or talk, and you sleep there, too. Time
isn't your perch, is it?'
"Time," said the parrot, "is some
thing you don't understand-any more
than you understand what it meant
to be punctual."
THAT'S right" said the canary bird.
II don't understand, so you might as
well explain"
These two birds were in their sepa-
rate cages and before they continued
their talk they each had little meal
Of seed and a drink Of water.
II will explain" said the parrot, af-
ter a moment.
"When a creature is on time we
mean that the creature has arrived or
is ready for what he is going to do at
the time he said.
"Now, there are some folks who will
say at night, oh, must get up early
tomorrow morning' But when morn
ing comes they are sleepy and they
decide they don't care if they are q
little late.
"Then there are others who are
meeting friends and they will say,
What is five or ten minutes? l don't
mind if I'm a little late. I'd rather
keep my friend waiting than be kept
waiting myself
"Those people don't care about being
punctual-that is, they don't care
about being on time-or, in other
words, they don't care about doing
things when they should do them.
II do. / eat on time-when ! have
hungry time! I sleep on time-when
I have sleepy time! And get up in
the morning on time.
"But / won't let the mistress be late.
see that she is punctual. Do you
know how?"
'sHow?" asked the canary bird.
81 call, allie, Allie, Allie, get up, get
up, get up' and she obeys me-"
"That is when you are shrieking in
the morning?" asked the canary bird.
EYES," replied the parrot.
"Well, v can see. then, how you make
her punctnal," the canary bird replied.
81 couldn't wake her up with my sing
ing, but your voice is loud and shrill."
.It is" answered the parrot proudly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
CHINESE WOMEN PAWN GEMS
SIant-Eyed Beauties Buy Diamonds on
InstaIlment Plan and Then
Hook Them.

San Francisco.-"Alla same white
women. Just hook dlimond. Whatta
malla?"
Zip Shee, Lee So and Ian Sock,
Chinese women, residents of San
Francisco's oriental quarter, lisped
the foregoing, following their arrest
on a charge of embezzlement by bailee
preferred by the Brilliam Jewelry COM
pany. Then they told their story. De-
sirous of setting off their charms they
purchased diamonds valued at $1,000
from the jewelry concern, agreeing TO
pay on the insfallment plan. Then
the need for ready cash was expert
enced by these three slant-eyed beau
ties. A local pawnshop got the gems.
Zip Shee, Lee SO and Ian Sock spent
the money Then came the police.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
NGobs" Merely Waiting to Be
Mustered Out.
Tired of Being Single and Now Want
TO Marry and Settle
Down.
$3.50:

Quantico, Va.-American nlaidens
who have been worrying whether your
marines would pop the question when
they come home, stand Eat ease.
A canvass of marine barracks here
at Ouantico, where 10000 men have
been waiting their chance at the Hun,
made by reporter for Leatherneck.
the camp paper, shows that SO per
cent of the single men intend marry
ing when they are discharged. How's
that for good news7
Were tired of being single. We
want to marry and settle down." is
the consensus Of the replies.
These marines, many of whom will
be discharged when the president de-
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

81 would like" ordered the captain.
So Van showed him, though the doc
tor couldn't quite make it out at thai
lust what Van did. He stroked their
heads a little and massaged their
threats q bit, and all the time ne
talked to them in the quietest voice IN
the world. Ten minutes after he be-
gan the boys were asleep, naturally
without tremor in the bodies ina,
had been nerve-wracked for weeks
The doctor looked at Sergeant van
helplessly and left shaking his head.
Two weeks later Sergeant Van held
a clinic before major general OF the
medical corps and several majors anu
still more captains and lieutenants-
all men of reputation in America as
doctors. Two of his subjects were the
men over whom he worked that hrst
morning. They came into the cllnlc'
clear-eyed and straight and ruddy as
athletes from the field.
They passed tests that the doctors
couldn't pass themselves.
Since then the shell shock cases have
been i'm Vans hands. The doctors
shake their heads and wonder.
Tn the camp and the hospital they
call him the "hypnotist."
"It isn't that / hypnotized them at
an" he will tell you. IT just tell them
that they are bigger than their nerves.
and that they can control them II they
really want to. And Show them how.
They believe it because | tell them 1t
is SO. and then, you see, they are we'll"
But the doctors, continue to wonder
and say that Van has discovered the
first really successful treatment for
shell shock.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
GOING TO WE'D? SURE!

clares the national emergency no long
er exists, are fitting themselves for
good jobs that will permit them to
wed. Evening business classes are be-
ing held at the Y. M. G. A., and ex-
perts are explaining everything from
bookkeeping and shorthand to soil
cultivation and dairying.
The training the men have under
gone admirably fits them for mar
rage. There isn't a marine in the
service who doesn't claim to be able
to wash his clothes whittier than any
woman can ever get them. Every man
can mend and press his own clothes.
And as far as being ''handy about the
house," why, most of them can open
can of tomatoes with toothpick
and drive nail with feather
duster..
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
RENO REPLACED BY ATLANTA
Capital of Georgia Now the Greatest
Divorce Center in the
United States.

Atlanta, Ga.-Atlanta has supple,
mented Reno as the greatest divorce
center in the country, is the announce.
ment made from the bench in superior
court by Judge John T. Pendleton in
dismissing the divorce jury
Reno, little town out in Nevada,
formerly held the record for d.
vorces," Judge Pendleton told his
hearers. ''But this record has now
been wrested from Reno by Atlanta.
And Atlanta has no close competition.
We will continue to outrank Reno just
as long as Georgia divorce laws re-
main so lax"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
Very Convenient.

Geraldine was staying with her
aunt.
One day, as they were-visiting the
towns poorer districts, Geraldine no
ticed three rather untidy children
playing in front Of house and re-
marked about 1t.
'There are ten children living in
that house and only one mother to
care for all Of them, so she cannot al
WAYS keep them as clean as mothers
who have only one or two to care for"
said her aunt.
"Ten?" asked Geraldine. "Ten?
why, they can have party without
inviting anyone!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
PAID DEARLY FOR VICTORY
France for the First Time Makes Pub
lie Her Losses During the
Great War. ~

Casualties the French army, ex-
Guiding colonial troops. up to Novem-
Der 1, were 4,762, 800, according to Off
cial figures made public by the French
high commission to correct conflicting
reports hitherto published.
Men killed in action or dead OF
wounds numbered 1,O2S.OO0 and to
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

Paris.-The most remarkable pa
tient in Base Hospital No. 80 is
Moro Hunter, who turned up in
France six months ago with COM
pany of American soldiers who had
just come from the Philippine Islands.
His name is recorded as Philipo Mo-
reno, and his home as the Philippine
Islands. No one suspected him OF hav-
ing a remarkable record until his story
came out one day after a chance meet
ing with the colonel In charge of the
base hospital to which he was taken
from the front. And this is how 1t
happened:
A Red Cross searcher hearing Of a
man suffering from five bayonet
wounds who had just been brought
into Base Hospital No. 80, hurried to
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

this total must be added 100000 listed
as missing and given up for lost, max
ing a total of 1927, 5000.
The number of wounded was 5000
600, with $4,000 listed as prisoners.
Three-fourths of the wounded have
recovered, either entirely or at least
to such an extent as to be fit to work
again.
Slightly less than 100000 are abso-
lutely unable to work. The French
government estimates that the total
number of unfit and pensioned may
finally be between 100000 and 100000
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
Mo Loafinu in l:Iyria. 0.

Elyria, O.-The "work-or-fight' or
der in this city is here to stay. There
will be no letup in the order, accord
ing to Mayor Jones. IF u fellow
comes here and wants to work, he is
welcome. There is plenty of work for
him to do. If he comes here to loaf.
there is no room for him in Elyria.
Yes, the work-or-fight rule will be en-
forced, war or no war;"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
PRAYER SAVES HIS LIFE
Soldier Is kneeIing When Shell Rips
Hole in His Steel Hat and Wounds
His Heed

Uniontown, Pa.-The fact that he
was kLeeling in prayer saved the life
of Private John Quarrick, Jr., of this
place. A letter from the soldier in
France says that he was saying his
prayers at the side of his cot when a
German shell tore his tent to pieces,
ripped a hole in his steel hat and in
ficted q slight wound in his head. az
probably would have been killed had
/ been in a standing posture" he said.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
Ohio svictory Girls" to
Earn SIS Each for War

Kenton, O.-This city has an
organization known as Victory
Girls and its membership con-
sists of some Of the most promi-
nent young ladies of the city.
Each has pledged to earn So for
war work funds. To aid the
girls Mrs. Caresia Gilman has
opened an employment bureau
at her home, and the young Ia
dies are going to do real work
for their money.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
Making Your own Circle.

Do not sit down and grumble be-
cause there is charmed circle into
which you are not invited to enter.
Instead, make your own circle. Join
hands with another girl who does not
seem any more popular than you are.
Add another who he's come stranger
to the city and is without friends. Be
fore you know 1t, you will have a lit
tie circle at which outsiders will be
looking with longing eyes. wishing
themselves with you.--Girl's Compan-
ION.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

men. The returns are not complete
The losses among the native troops
coming from French colonies or pro-
tectorates were 42,500 killed or died
of wounds, with $4,000 missing and
very probably dead. The number pen
stoned after wounds or illness was
1000.
The total killed or dead of wounds,
missing and unfit for work is between
5 and 8 per cent of the French popula-
ton.
The number of dead is smaller than
had been supposed.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
New War Chest Record.

Bellefontaine, O.-Figures have
been prepared by the county war
chest committee in Logan county
which show that the contributions
made to the community war chest
shortly before the war ended averaged
1888 per capita. This is thought to
be a record for patriotic giving in q
country county.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

The Swiss federal council has de-
creed the adoption of 24-hour time for
railroads and other institutions un-
der government control at date yet
to be determined.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30
Women Huskinu Corr.

Rantoul, Ill.-A survey of the corn
fields of Illinois by air shows many
women have gone out to help in the
corn husking. One of the aviators
here reports seeing hundreds Of wom-
en- doing their part to save the crop.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

A strong and fireproof artificial
stone is being made in the Philip
pines from beach sand and volcanic
tufa.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1919-01-30

Even a big pain may be acute.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1919-10-10
AMUSEMENT NOTES
"My Honolulu Grip at the Barre Opera
House Monday, Oct 49,

Written by the late Queen Liliukalania
Of the Hawaiian Islands, that ever pop
ular melody, "Aloha De-" is one of the
many song hits Norman Freidenwald
presents in his beautiful musical show,
''My Honolulu Girl which will he of
fered at the opera house, Mon lay, Oct.
IL
This melody is the favorite Of tho large
group of native singers, dancers and in
strumentalists Mr.. Freidenwald carries
with his company. They play and sing
it in preference to the many other beau.
tiful Hawaiian songs that are interpolat.
ed during the show.
INV Honolulu Girl" is wonderful
conception dealing with the most beau
tiful islands of the Pacific, with their
people and their customs A decidedly
pretty love story and suggestion OF a
plot is woven into the offering, which is
filled to the brim with music and dances,
low and sunshine. Prominent in the pro-
duction are the scenic effects depicting
the Plaza hotel at Honolulu, the ocean
docks at the same place and the Island
Of Hawaii, where RACES the volcano Xxi
lauea." real ocean liners are seen NOV
ing from the docks and the volcano is
shown in action. Thirty-five people are
carried with the company, number OF
them being native Hawaiians and mu-
sicians of prominence in their own coun-
try-ady.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1919-10-10
Kreisler in Burlington.

No violinist of our time has equalled
Fritz Kreisler, who plays in Burlington
Oct 10, in his hold upon the public;
while none has won and maintained that
hold by clearer deserts or higher quail
tiles. During his years in the United
States he has played in every part OF
the country, in cities and towns that
rarely hear an artist of such distinction
no less than in the capitals of music
that annually expect four or five 'Kreis-
Ter concerts" Season after season, what.
ever the place or the occasion, his au.
diences have filled hall or theatre to the
doors. These eager and returning listen.
ers have included connoisseurs of the
violin and of violinists; musicians in
general quick to recognize a master in
their art; the public of experience, intelli.
gence and taste in concerts; the public
that knows when it is pleased and time
and again takes its pleasure; the curious
about an illustrious figure in the chron,
icles and the conversation of the hour;
and, finally, those with or without an
ear for music, who feel in Mr.. Kreislei
the sway of a potent personality. Nc
other violinist of our day has gathered
and kept such audiences.
Mail orders should be sent to A. W
Dow, care the Majestic theatre, or The
Free Press.--adv.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1919-10-10
STATE TUBERCULOSIS CAMPAIGN
As Outlined By State Board of Health
and tuberculosis Association.

The campaign proposed to be made by
the Vermont state board OF health and
the Vermont State tuberculosis associa-
tion in the fight against tuberculosis Is
outlined in the following statement TAX
en- from the last quarterly bulletin Of
the state board of health:
"The Vermont tuberculosis association,
although distinct organization depend
ing for its support on voluntary eontri-
buttons, works in the closest cooperation
with the state board of health. The
members of the state board of health
serve on the executive committee of the
tuberculosis association and the execu-
| tive secretary of the association is a
member of the staff of the state board
of health.
"The association advocates five hos,
pitfalls or wards for tuberculosis located
one for the northeast, northwest, south
east and southwest, and central sections
of the state. This will make it possible
J for open cases to be cared for at hos
pital and still be near enough so that
other members Of the family may visit
: frequently. Experience has proven that
if the hospital is too far away from the
PhticHtS Huiue ne BeHoidLiy REFUSES 10
! remain after one or two months.
! "The central section of the state will
soon have hospital located at Barre.
/ The other sections have no hospitals yet.
"The association plans to divide itself
in five parts, one part for each hospital
section. In every town in each section
there will be organized health COM
mittee and each committee shall appoint
one Of its members to represent it on
the district board of directors. The dis
trict board of directors with the district
health officer shall meet every two
months and shall supervise the work of
the district public health nurse
Local committees shall conduct tu-
berculosis survey of their respective
towns; that is, by consulting with doc
tors, ministers, social workers, town rec
ords, and so forth. It shall list all cases
of tuberculosis, suspected tuberculosis,