The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-06-26


4 A little boy disobeyed his mother
and when she started to correct hin
I for the offense ran under the hous'
/ and refused to come out all day. Vhei
, mis- father came home in the zen
|. inp the mother told him Of the occur
ance and he started under the house
to bring him out. Seeing his pater-
nal ancestor crawling up near to where
he was, the little fellow said, as she
after you, too papa ?"
! A little girl who was very proud OF
being taken for a walk by her father
and, though sometimes the ranb!es
extended trifle beyond her strength,
she would not have pleaded fatigue
for worlds. One day, however, her
father noticed that she was tagging
Tired, Pussy?" he asked. "N7,
father, that is not 'zactly tired. ]
was only wishing ! could take off my
legs and carry them little bit, that's
all"
1t is said of an editor that he visit
ed the insane asylum in Blackfoot,
recently, and was mistaken by luna
tic for fellow sufferer just arrived.
Being confidential the inmate asked
the editor what made him go crazy,
and to humor him the editor replied:
"Trying to make money out of the
newspaper business" "Rats!" said
the lunatic, you're not crazy, you're
just DIM fool"
An Irish woman who had been to
mass on Easter Sunday dropped in to
see a sick neighbor who was denied
the blessed privilege. "Och, God
bless we, Mrs Riley, but we missed it,
not being able to go to church today.
Sure the flowers were that beautiful
and the music so swate, but the pref
test sight of all was when little
Mamie Murphy walked up the tisle an
laid an Easter egg on the altar"
Q 9
The latest hair-in-th the butter story
relates that tenderfoot in a res
taurant called waiter to him anu
said: Waiter look here. Isn't this
a cows hair in my butter?" The wait
err took up the butter, examined the
hair and then replaced the plate be-
fore his patron again with a nod of
eyes, sir" he said,
that's genuine cows hair. We
always serve them with our butter.
sir, to show that it amt bull butter"
With a stormy look on his face the
master of the house waylaid the SER
,ant in the kitchen, "Look here" he
,egan, angrily, chow dare you tell my
wife what time l came home this
morning. after had told you not to-"
The Irish girl eyed him steadily.
Sure, an OF didn't" she replied,
calmly. "She asked me phwat tonne
re came in an Oh only tout her that
ii was too busy gettin' the breakfast
eady to look at the clock"
q 4 q
"What's the matter with this mules
hoes ?" asked the blacksmith. 81 put
hem on the day before yesterday and
hey look all right to me-" "Never
mind how they look. You just take
hem off an put on others. Me and
briggs will stand the expense!"
What has Spriggs to do with it?"
We've got bet on how many times
GU can fool with that mules feet
efore you get laid out"
These are dry times, but no matter
ow dry you are, don't drink bootleg
,hiskey. Chances are it never passed
through distillery. 1t is concoc-
ion of raw alcohol, fusil oil, sulphur
J acid and extract of plug tobacco
nth mixture of coal tar to give il
ody. 1t will eat the bung out of
ariel in two days. Pry open the jaws
I Rentle COItOulduSu idDuit, uIVP
hree drops of the mixture on the
nimaps tongue and it would rear up
n its launches and with bark of
age and contempt expectorate in the
ace Of Siberian bloodhound Men
no drink it for any considerable
myth Of time contract cases of de-
rum tremens entirely different from
lie old fashioned regular variety.
hey do not see just ordinary SER
ents; their distorted imaginations
lew flocks of prehistoric reptiles,
irds of fearsome beaks and wings
I'd claws; monsters of the Jurassic
eriod. pterodactyls, ichthyosauruses,
nosaurs and mournful whangdoodles
ON the tabled mountains of Hepsi-
nm.