davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
ONE PLUS ONE?
The Answer Isn't - wo," Asserts DR.. Sickle, Who Insists That
One May Equal fen.
BY REV. CHARLES STEELE
By REV. CHARLES sTELZLE

A sure as m and makes two"-has con o &c q axiom "hch
of us seem to have the courage to dispute. <u. .k
~" An vet there never wa a greater fauacy forced upon u IS foolish oIk.
Int most o. rs ccept it as III standard by which all life must be easure
No me M eve exactly equaed another man-nory et did on apple
equal another apple, % on horse anotnef hoSe' hh oe
They're different.
n how can things that are different 10 equal?
wen n machine is different from another machine athoush JON
have been made Of the m materials and by the same processes. or
urned ut b. h m automatic eranon
No-one doe not equal one ,.r- zu.uu.
Isl he police official in you town IN charse OK the befuAnoh sSS"'
"Dd o eve n ny W men -. ~
N re- will reply: "No-not eve in the prints o their fingers"
Isl n preacher: Did you ever now OF w peop "ho apsoiutey
agreed about every religious question:" -
know two people to think exactly alike about III M things about which
you are concernedg"
And they will also answer-"No"'
The only people h agree are thu M are tho
people h "a caused all he roubl in the world D. saying tina N
and ne make
n nay equal ter.
My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart Is pure" said
Sir Galahad.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

Luke McLuke Says
The betting Is hat IL a lot of hus-
bands were today to meet for the first
time the girls who are now their wives
said husbands would decline to be In
troduced.
Almost n wife can tell you that
her husband is such a helpless mutt
tina II he ever gets to Heaven he will
expect her to help him on with his
wings every morning.
After a man follows his own advice
for a few hours he begins to realize
why other men do not pay any at
tention to what he says.
nickle, and who explains his sting
mess by stating that he In isterested
in the preservation of the Buffalo.
The k~nee-length skirts expose a lot
of family skeletons that might just as
well have been kept under cover.
Do not be ashamed to admit that
you do not know everything. The
best spoilers in the world are men who
keep well-thumbed dictionaries on
their desks.
Any husband can tell you that a
morning glory. II remains on the
dresser until she dolls UP In the al
ternoon.
Many a Leader OF Men has q wife
who tells him where he gets off when
he is around the house.
The Female end of the sketch Is
always reciting a lot of things that
she would do II she were a fan and
the Male end OF the sketch Is always
reciting a lot of things that he
wouldn't do IL he were a omar
Maybe a married man would behave
himself and go to Church oftener IL
you could get him TO believe that the
assistant devils in He'll are women In
greasy kimonos who nag day and
night
Another reason why married life Is
one long battle is because he never
gives in and she never gives u
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
EDitaohS

FsDitaohS
What's left OF Oswald Perkins Bland
Is resting in this spaces:
lie puffed a Flor de Onion and
Blew smoke into my face.
Luke McLluke.
The shreds Of Percy Clarence Din
In this cigar box rest:
lie smoked while in a powder mill,
He's now a heavenly guest.
Allentown Democrat
Here rests what was Ambrosia Jones
In what were her best clothes:
She starched my hanky. dern heI
bonesi
And IL cut of my nose.
Houston Post.
Here are the ashes pale and gray,
OF Percy Cecil Bar
He ate iimberger and sat down
Beside us on the car.
Memphis commerciai-Appeai.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes

OLD BOOZE -. .,ove
ohs poa~a ;s dead 90 toll the knen for this old mauonnI az
the mourners raise Joyful yell a s they STAND py ~ -. n tomb.
Booze N IN with teeth and nails, e tried 70 s us TT. hoped
10 hoped n ell his gins and als until the crack OF uoomln-. u.grown
t ne nv op hs ~ anccient ash Till Father Time is gone; but we've outgr o
the Jug and flask. outgrown the demijohn. Od booZe - - yse hut
he lies cashed in beyond recall; he never helped a MAJ al ~ until
made a million fall. Old Booze will sleep eneat III 80. h.. 6ued
HI bright sun pales:h he never built a tolers nome ~ uboFs
man iaus Old Booze has crossed the great DIVIDE q asnafr
there: and we'll have less of suicide, and eSs OF , h-aod ~
And wen see less of womens tears, of children eeuAn I,TI
gone fol foaming beers, since Old Man Booze Is oe1 sz &c
dist no more the poison drink to knock the good man "
funeral would make you think a circus is In town. i"y ID
chorte a. they work and dig the clammy clay, n I'm the I"rd
the kirk the pastor yels "Tooray!" The undertaken. Is on NC. a,
with festive lifts and runes, and by the fence the village IA "
PLAYING ragime tunes.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
A Soldiers PRAYER.

Our Boss. who are I'm Washington.
Wilson be thy name. Our pay days
come with a cry small sum-. And our
clothes won't hold together. Give US
this day our Stun n beans. forgive
us our longings for discharges as We
forgive those who keep ms from get
ting them. Keep us not forever a
Camp Sheridan. but deliver us back
to our homes in Gods country. Amen
y. 7. NJ, s09 Engineers. Camp Sher-
tdan.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
FioOey!

TT says here tina shellac is a tor
ic," remarked the Old Fogy, as he
looked up from the newspaper he was
reading.
Huh" grunted the Grounch. ANY
man who ever drank Prohibition
booze knows that"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Paste This In Your Hat.

When to the Lord you make your plea
For aid, my hopeful brothers.
See that you bear in mind that He
viii help those who help others.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Then 1t Happened.

"I wonder il you could?" unused
the Rummy, as he picked up his
change.
you wonder If you could what?"
demanded the Barkeep. as he grab
bed q bottle.
II wonder If o could say that the
Students Training Corps attached to
each college during the war was COM
posed of 'rah recruits?' p" replied the
Rummy, as he headed for the door.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

Adam Jaw Cook. of Reading. Ohio,
wants to know IL he can act as chef in
the Club.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

Robert l.. loot, OF Neodesha, Kan,
wants to join the Clubs orchestra
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

Dearest girl in the world Is she.
When. with those lovely eyes of blue
She looks inc makes the heart OF me
Turn over with emotions new.
oh. how I love her! Dearest Pal
That man could ever hone 30 claim.
But marry her. I never shall.
For Carrie Fishback is her name.
Bill.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
We Tried II, George and It's All Bunk


Cheer up. Luke: n little pellet o
yeast in n glass of grape juice will
produce all the "kick" needed on that
next fishing trip.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Names Is Names.
Will u. Fite lives at Jackson. Ohio.

Our Daily Special.
A Human Sponge Seldom Absorbs
Water.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

"An ounce of prevention is worth a
pound of cure" remarked the Opt
mist.
But suppose o are selling the
cure?" demanded the Pessimist.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Oh. JOy!

Quincy Bass, President of the Mary
Vile (Tenn.) branch of the Club, an
that he has engaged Wayland
Crye of hat town, to render some
vocal selections at the next concert.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

Take this advice. 1t isn't bad.
And you should not refuse IL:
Instead OF finding fault. my lad,
Why don't you try to lose 1t?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13

1 asked a tall man for n loan.
But sad was his retort:
Said he: I'D let you have a bone,
But I am very short"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
February.

I'd like to rap
This bone head Harry,
Who always calls
1t: "Feb-u-warry."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-02-13
Bits OF By-Pldy

by LU-AE AicLUkE
Copyright. 1919. the Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21
MILAN

Miss Kathryn Schellm.n Of 10
liet, Ill. Il making IN extended
visit with her parents. Mr.. and Mrs.
Fred Schellman.
Mrs. ]. c. Johnston Of Moline,
spent Monday with friends here.
Mrs. A. d. Mccartney will enter
tain the ladies' aid society at her
home Thursday.
James McQuaid is having his
residence wired for electric lights
this week.
George Wooster has installed q
heating plant in his newly acquired
cottage.
G. Danielson and family from
near Andalusia, Tuesday moved In
to their new home recently pur-
chased from George N. Brown.
The missionary society Of the
Presbyterian church will meet with
Mrs. T. W. Matthews Friday after
noon.
The many friends Of Mrs. Thomas
Reynolds, nee Carrie Walker, OF
Ottawa, will be pleased to know she
IL recovering nicely from q serious
operation.
Miss Emma Dittmer returned
from Reynolds last Saturday where
she spent q few weeks.
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Hall have
presented their daughters with q
beautiful piano.
Margaret Carnashan spent Thurs
day with Moline friends.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21

=
chairman Of the affair. City Attor-
ney J. K. Scott delivered . welcome
address. greeting Colonel Simmons
in the name Of the city and the
state. Rev. 8. b. Moore welcomed
the speaker on the part Of the col
ored church congregations Of the
city.
Singing Beautiful
Music furnished by . chorus of
Is voices, all colored people Of the
tri-cities. was wonderful. In their
rendition Of . dozen well chosen
numbers the volume from the
throat Of these capable singers fill-
"a the hall and satisfied all the
music lovers present.
The audience was composed Of
both colored people and white, the
numbers Of each being evenly d.
vided.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21
SUSPENSION Of INDUSTRY IN
QUAD CITIES IS F0RECASTED
BY LAY-OFF STEEL WORKERS

company ohices. declared this
morning.
Mr.. Hammer said that the COM
pany's steel output II stopped on
account Of the coal shortage, and
present indications are that
work cannot be taken up again
until after the coal strike IL ended.
Little Hope Of Aid.
Mr.. Hammer said that the COM
pany sees little hope Of aid coming
from its customers who need the
steel output Of the plant. He said
that some of these manufacturers
probably will tender offers Of coal.
but these amounts would be 30
small as to be practically insignifl-
cant.
However, he said that the ONCE
workers will not be laid OF and IN
addition about $50 other workers
will be kept to complete certain
construction work that was under
taken some time ago and to aid in
some other changes in the plant.
Big Shutdown Seon.
However, the shutdown at the
steel plant Is looked upon a. only
beginning by other manufactur-
ers.
w. ]. Kahlke. purchasing agent
for the Rock Island Pillow company,
stated today that the ploy company
plant has only q two weeks supply
Of coal and will be forced to curtail
work or close its plant at the end
Of this period unless the coal strik-
ers go back to work.
Power Company Supply Low.
The most serious aspect of the
coal famine Is shown In a state
ment given The Argus today by r.
B. Macdonald, general manager Ct
the Peoples Power company.
I'VE have only q three weeks
supply of coal and the situation is
extremely serious as we furnish 81
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21
CONFERENCE OF
: So B. DISTRICT
rs A SUCCESS

The sub-district conference which
was held Monday at the First
Methodist Episcopal church of this
city, turned out to be q big sue
cess. The attendance in the after
noon being only fair was more than
doubled at the evening session.
In the afternoon District Super
intendent Jones appeared on the
program. He was followed by Rev.
Charles H. Hoffmire of Silvis. Rev.
Van Pelt Of Rock Island, DR.. Wash
burn. a colleeg president Of South
America, and Rev. Arthur Smith OF
Bradford.
At the evening session two very
stirring address were given by
Rev. Arthur Smith of Bradford and
Rev. Lewis of Kewanee. The
themes of each address dealt par
ticularly with evangelism and were
heartily received by the audience.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21

Thousands Of workmen in the
tri-citiss will be thrown out Of
work within q very few weeks unu-
less the strike Of 425.000 bitumin-
Gus coal miners IL brought to q
close. according to manufacturers
today.
The Republic Iron & Steel com
pany, located on Sylvan island, op-
posite Second street, Moline,
stopped production at 5 O'Clock this
morning when the night shift went
OF duty, and the coal famine 10 ser
lousy menacing other manufactur-
ing industries in this community.
Many Out Of Work.
Over 100 rollers at the steel mills
were thrown out Of work due to
the closing Of the steel mills, Carl
Hammer. chief clerk at the steel
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21


~ cen. =. .re ov ss..n rs - IA ~.
-. .w , - 1900. 49, 49, ~
s.~a 81 M. s.o,,nt
80. 80 -. ~ nS, y. 1870. ~. a..
so"s ~ 1919 .s ...ss ea-s ~ .c.1
.asS a. e
.1s ~: ..,,.... =. - - h.,k
sae s'. a., w nv ~ -.
~ wo.A w =: III III u.s - ~. ts,.,
pIus cO.l ~ sn wo. .;..s .na =. 't ~
Ill. ~. nsse " asSns Ia ea = :; . ~ ~
.ulee saIs usy suo :, - p. ~. =. ~
snss We my . ~. oe I'D, .u.e ~ u - sn~'
s-. ou - III .saa. 49,. ~.
osen y w coulo Icy W sl.s p.ss
sns ns1 n :. " en,ee 80 = I ~ "
W. ~o.iu :. nase !" .u. 49, ~ ~ -
, ,en' VI nea.S '"us oui 1su
AZ Dus'nsss. - ma
.r., 49, -. ~. ....
,.. .a wVsl ~ . ms -. ,s ss.ao ~,
1870. s... ', ss.eo. - 80.
A.s ~ 9 so . .S " ~.
.na ~ou.u sso~ ~ ~: -. n
";.,. " .Ao 1920 ~ I ~ -" :. w. ~.
t, ~ ne.y .ne po ~. =. ,m T1I =.
.,ns uUwn, .na e ~ . .u.s ". ~
nosess.y ~ 49, sue rH. ..os =.
~. set c"s. LOT pan. t ne.'ns pu.
pOsSs o.oles snu osa0l eu.s.
eeeeoilsumen.s wnlcn N M.uy
casos we sWAL powss Me1 ,.Au.s-s
~ w'u a.a. s.so ~ sasc.eo sIu i - ar
=. $3.50 s.s. a.u ao mss. n' w "
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-11-21

All the news all the time-The
Argus.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18

formerly OF Fairnont. Both msn
have been active In association work
and no doubt will again be selected
by their respective districts as board
members.
United Mine Workers.
B. A. Scott, international board
member, and NJ. L. Lewis, of Chart-
ton, Lucas county, Iowa, who just ar
rived in this field last night, went to
Rivesville today.
H. E. ePters left for Charleston,
and Sam Ballantyne. international
board member. is in charge OF the
Fairmont office of the United Mine
Workers during his absence.
John Custalac. district board mem
Der, is on trip to Century and Mert-
den today.
John w. Brown, international
board member, will address a mass
meeting of United Mine Workers at
Reynoldsyille tonight at Z o'clock.
| Joe Angelic, international organ
izer, went to his home at Bridgeport
last night because of illness. He will
remain theer until improved.
NJ. L. Haptonstall, district travel
i ing auditor, is in the Clarksburg field
today.
Sanford Snyder. international or
| ganizer, is at Enterprise.
John w. Brown, international or
ganizer. will address mass meeting
of United Mine Workers at Maccabee
Hall at Lumperport on Wednesday
evening, April 20, at $3.50 o'clock.
Last night John W. Brown. inter-
national organizer, addressed 1875
United Mine Workers in the opera
house at Shinnston. H. E. Pettrs
F., district organizer, and the mayor OF
Shinnston also delivered addresses.
There is an influx of international
Organizers in the field just now. The
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18
ARE
CONTINUED from page oneo

evening at the call of City Chair
= Ed. Robinson and at which every
agil In the city was represented.
Ii1nt twenty-five chairmen of mems
8'id wcmen's committees were present
and discussed in detail the methods
d be used in each ward.
n the East Side Community House
laSk night, their regular weekly meet
III was turned into Victory Loan
me 6ting. Addresses were made by
Harry Shaw and James A. Meredith
call for a meeting in the Community
house has been issued for this evening
! ~ Second Ward Chairman DIR. Jesse
Il Jamison, and splendid organiza,
ton meeting is expected.
The following letter was received
this morning by County Chairman
4 Hood from district headquarters in
Richmcnd:
10 All Victory Liberty Loan
Workers of the Fifth Federal
Reserve District:
Il is great to receive a CHEEKY
e message from the sick room of the
Governor Of the Federal Reserve
Bank Of our distrlct-our friends
and leader in former Liberty Loan
compaigns. Here it is and how
happy AMI to be the medium OF
transmitting it to you with the
dad tidings that his health is i'm
proving and that lie is now surely
on the way to recovery. He is
thinking Of US and the response
bility resting upon our shoulders.
He telegraphs:
sit will be an agreeable sur
Prise to the country that the gov
ernment has. to call upon the peo-
y pte for. only 4,50O,000,00O for the
ereak Victory Loan, the browning
financial undertaking of the great
and terrible war.
aThere has never been shown
BY the people of any nation, eth
er IN this war or at any other
time. such exhaltation and unanim-
ity OF purpose, adm. now that the
rurnose which burned In our
hearts has been accomplished,
there should and will be no falter-
ing In finishing the work which
was given Us to do.
s'The terms Of the Loan are lib
eral by comparison with any fl
nancing ever undertaken by our
government and they are design.
ca to appeal to the savers Of the
country the people OF small and
moderate incomes. Never before
was II 80 important to our ma
ficnal life and prosperity to save,
and the savings Of the people dur
Ing the war are now our shield
against diversity.
"a vide distribution of the Loan
viii greatly improve the banking
situation and enable the banks to
take better care OF reviving bust
ness.
All Liberty Loan Workers are
called upon TO make this Loan
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18

Fairmont force has been short in
numbers for osme time and the nee
essary assistants have arrived. ac-
cording to Mr.. Ballantyne, interna-
tional board member. who is in
charge OF the Office today.
Conference Called.
WI. heatherman, chief Of the State
Department of Mines, has called a con
ference of all the state mine inspectors
to be held In Charleston on Saturday to
discuss the work of the department
under the newly redistricted territory
in which there are now 10 instead of
Is districts.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18

by Edgar Reed. brother Of Miss Reed.
who only recently returned from
France.
Mr.. Patton Returns.
F. ]. Patton, coal broker, arrived
home from Philadelphia last evening.
He reports that the coal stocks are
heavy in that section and there is no
general revival in coal business.
Mr.. Patton appears to have got
more cheerful news while on his trip
TO Western Pennsylvania recently.
Meeting in Cleveland.
The Board of Directors OF the Ma
tional Coal association will meet at
Hotel Statler, Cleveland, Ohio, on
Wednesday, April %, at 1880
o'clock. The proposed amendment to
the constitution and bylaws which
provide for the placing of retired
presidents on the board of directors
for period after the expiration OF
their terms of office, will be voted on
Arrangements will also be made for
the annual meeting Of the association
which will be held in Chicago on May
l., 20 anu 20. III dSSOlNohNS "ANa
the order of the board at its meeting
on March IA. action will be taken in
reference to the plan for more effec'
tive cooperation between The coal In
dustry and the government recently
outlined by Fuel Administrator Gar
field.
C. H. jenkins. president OF the
Northern West Virginia Coal Opera
tors will attend the meeting.
Atthe Hotel Cleveland, Cleveland
Ohio, on Tuesday morning at 1O:3C
o'clock, there will be meeting O.
the secretaries of the various Goa
associations. George T. Bell. execu
tive vice president Of the Northern
West Virginia Coal operatrs' associa
ton, will attend This meeting.
n. G. A. Annual Meeting.
When the National Coal association
holds its annual meeting in Chicago
on May 81, %. and %. there will b.
eighteen vacancies on the board o
directors OF the National association
Eelection Will take place al that time
Among those whose terms expire
according to the Weekly Digest. TIT
igan OF the National Coal associa
tion, arc C. H. Jenkins, ~; J mont
land Jere Whealwrlsht, 81 Baltimore
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18
RAILROAD FUEL
CONTINUED from page one.)

just one car less on its order than on
the previous day. Lehigh Valley was
two shy of largest order-15 cars
of the present coal year. Maine Cen
trail, which averaged seven car or
der, did not place any yesterday.
Lake Shipments.
Some business is bound lakeward.
Yesterday there were 81 cars sent to
the lakes. This makes total of PIG
cars for the first four days Of the
present week.
Curtis Bay shipments totaled 81
cars yesterday.
other shipments consisted of 16
cars to Michigan points; Ohio points
5 cars; miscellaneous 81 cars.
Yesterdays Loading.
Yesterday there were $50 cars
loaded on the Monogah division OF
the Baltimore and Ohio railroad. All
of this was coal. No coke was loaded
yesterday and there were but four
cars loaded during the present week.
In addition to yesterdays loading
there were 81 unconsigned cars NOV
ed. This reduces the total number OF
unconsigned cars to 952.
The coal movement yesterday con-
sisted of 500 cars east and Ill cars
west.
Working Conditions.
Today is Good Friday, but gener-
ally sepaking the miners did not OBJ
serve a holiday. The work at the
mines has not been too plentiful for
some months and the majority of the
miners remained at work durilg the
greater portion of the day.
Today there are 155 mines idle
Last Friday there were $50 down;
two weeks ago 1856; three weeks age
1sS; four weeks ago 176. There
were two less mines down yesterday
on the division.
Today's Cars.
| Emptles on the division total 2,S17
Cars left over from the previous day
total SIS. The cars are classified a:
follows: Coal 2,66S; coke o; surplu:
NJ. V. r. $40. The placement at
o'clock this morning was 1873.
Going to Parkersburg.
Miss Boydie Reed and Miss Mary
Louise Hennen, connected with thu
office of the Northern West Virginia
Coal Operators association in this
city, will leave on Saturday for Par
kersburg. They will be accompanied
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18

Unemployment in the British cotton
trade is on the increase. At present
many thousands OF operatives are out
Of employment. The British govern,
ment pays unemployed adults with 40
children $704, those with three chill
dren, $9.97 and others proportionately,
each week. as out of work pay.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-04-18

the crowning success OF their
magnificent patriotic labors."
Yours for the Victory Liberty
Loan,
EDWIN W. ROBERTSON.
Chairman.