Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-09-29
No Wonder Germany Quit
BY MAJOR FRANK G. NIAHIN
OF the Army Recruiting Station

A few days ago I heard a very IA
nous army chaplain speak. and in
his speech he referred to the very
naughty word damn" The chap
lain said he did not believe, and he
had higher authority for 1t, that the
word damn" as commonly used
was profane, but was merely a very
forceful adjective. A famous Cen
eral then got up and told a story
on the chaplain in which the chap
that they had "to damned many
chaplains around there" These. re-
marks reminded me of a personal
experience. Early in October q lot
of troops were being swung over to
the west side of the Meuse to par
.ticipate in the pleasant little Donny-
brook fair going on in that vicinity
entitled the Meuse- -Argonne battle.
That part of the smiling French
landscape for 10! these many miles
in every direction was swarming
with khaki-clad Yanks who were
doing their bit to lick the tar out OF
of the Boche. During the days we
lay in woods or villages, mostly
woods full of mud, supposedly rest
ing and hiding from the inquisitive
Boche airplanes and at dusk each
night we crept forth, +furtively onto
the roads, formed up and hiked all
night long. Since every village was
filled to capacity and so was every
woods, and even the orchards, it
made a continuous procession once
we got straightened out on the
roads. Any little block at any point
in the column made n nasty tumble
and delay which would spread back,
constantly getting worse over the
twenty or thirty miles of troops on
that road. Now it so happened that
like many other outfits we had been
pretty badly shot up in the past and
consequently were trying to make
many square pegs fit round holes.
Most of them soon got their corners
worn off and fitted snugly, but 1T
took time and time was one of our
rarest commodities. My new supply
officer was a good man and nice
fellow, but few months before he
had been chemist for sugar COM
pany. He had charge of the trains
and supplies but what he didn't
know about animals would have
filled q book. The wagon master,
sergeant, l fear had been ribbon
clerk, and on rolling kitchen l
so-called teamster who l am sure
had been a chaperon in young
ladies' seminary. Now none of these
three perfectly estimable young men
had any idea of how to talk the
only language under the sun that a
Missouri mule can understand. one
evening as we started out of our VIII
lage ! noticed that the colemn had
broken, the rear part being matted.
Putting the spurs to my fiery steed
captured in the st. Mihiel, l tore
back and found those mules jammed
and baking between two houses at a
narrow part of the road. Doing q
Douglas Fairbanks dismount [
staggered up to find my supply Of
ficer, wagonmaster and teamster so
peeVish at those mules that they
were threatening to. slap them on
the fore fetlock. Those mules were
looking at them with one long ear
dropping forward and Laughing at
them if ever an animal did. Having
had more or less mulish experience
over a quite q number of years
stepped in front of the leaders,
looked them in the eye and began to
talk real mule talk. After about
two minutes, without having repeat
ed myself once, Il picked up bar
rel stave and stepped along side the
near leader. 1 remarked pleasantly,
now you blankety. blank, blanks,
giddap," and hit that mule in the
ribs. The teamster had been SO fas-
cinated at real mule talk that he
was sitting on the kitchen with an
open mouth and staring eyes. When
| said "giddap' those mules got;
they disappeared down the road in
cloud of mud, but the teamster,
after turning a pretty somersault
backward, landed head down in a
lovely mud puddle in which he near
ly drowned, as his mouth was still
open when he landed and he was
too dazed at the mule talk to even
think of closing 1t. But as started
to remark, profanity is not neces-
sarily implied by the use of certain
words; they may be merely force