Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-02-17
Ea606dS8
DESG0Hd8E
THE RECALCITRANT HAT.

II - n
THE RECALCITRANT HAT.
When Myrtle encounters window In town,
No power can hurry her by:
She stops to examine the fit Of her gown
With anxious and rigorous eye;
She studies her garments for crease or for
speck;
She gives all her tresses pat;
She pulls down her waist: then she arches her
neck
And fixes her hat
I've seen her in front of a window or door
Which casts a reflection that's clear
Obstruct passing traffic and calmly explore
All visible parts of her gear
She wiggles her nose till her veil is in place:
She twiddles with shoelace or spat;
She smoothes out her skirt with her usual
And fixes her hat
She powders her nose to eliminate shine;
She huffs out the lace at her wrist
She changes pin and thus straightens line
Which shows desire to twist.
Her eye is on guard lest her petticoat show
She always makes certain of that;
And when she is sure that she's just thus
and so,
She fixes her hat
When Judgment day comes, and my Myrtle
At Gabriel's ultimate trump,
She'll hunt for window, with tremors and
Quakes
For fear that she looks like a trump.
No matter how urgent the summons may be
Or how she may tremble thereat,
She'll stop for a moment in order to see
(And straighten1 her hat
KENNETH L. ROBERTS
This may be a short month and all that, but
the weather man is getting in lot of good
work in spite of its brevity Which do you
prefer, a springish winter or winterish
spring? Name your choice, both kinds appear
to be on tap now all the time
1T WILL BE GREAT WELCOME HOME"
Sir: Here's one for you. A woman, dark
in color, answered ad for washerwoman.
When she knocked, the door was answered sby
a young woman. During the ensuing CONVEX
sation the laundress, noticing that the young
woman of the house wearing a service pin,
asked: rs your husband in France, LADY,"
Blushing furiously the other replied: NO, this
pin / am wearing Is for my sweetheart, over
there" Whereupon the colored lady replied,
gleefully: 30, Lawdy, if 1 wore a star for every
beau had in the army l would look like the
Star-Spangled Banner" n. B.
Henry Picked of Jacksonville. Miss. has
been given life sentence. If national prohi
bition weren't so near one might be able to
whittle wheeze out of that.
THE THOUGHTS OF THE STENOG
Sir: 1 found the enclosed my stenogra-
piers typewriter. 1t is apparently the product
pose she had on her mind?
Now is the time for all good men to come
to the aid of the party of the country to the
aid of the country WSSWSSWSSS$$ II
400 77$s$$$$ l wish l had I wish he had
We had million one million, LOCO, 000, 900 .00O,
600 dollars 1 do 1 do Gertrude S. Gertrude Ed
wards, Mrs Gertrude Edwards Mrs: James Ed
wards Mrs. Jimmy B. Edwards Private James
B. Edwards MachineOgun company 316 A. P o.
III, A. E. F. sunny France Armistise, Arni-
stice Peace Jimmy dearest Mrs. Jimmy Ed
wards s4!T0 g. $$$$s$s" NJ 0.
The f. P.'s or rather the knights of Pythias
should not be expecting to get many members
from the returning soldiers, in view of the fact
that the most of them are pretty well filled up
on K. p.
NOW SOMEBODY'S IN FOR IT
Sir: So Mr.. X Y. has made application for
membership in the society for self-determina-
ton of married men, has he? And he has
supplied acceptable credentials" has he?
Well, 1 shall see about that. What does he
mean by taking such liberties without con-
sulting me? MRS. X. Y.
Private to Mr. X Y: You might suggest
that the society is considering establishing an
auxiliary for the women.
Add Modern Improvements.
(Harris Gazette.
FOR RENT-Room, to lady or gentlemen
with hot air heat, gas and other conveniences.
Also another room to married couple with out
side entrance.
In summing up the great flow of wasted
speeches being made by distinguished and ex-
tinguished gentlemen in Germany daily, it ap-
pears that they are having hard time trying
to convince themselves they weren't defeated.
Far be it from to line up with the "I told
you so" club, but if you are shivering consider
ably we trust you will remember that it was
only few short weeks ago, when the weather
was so spring-y it even fooled the birds, that
we passed the remark about heavies.
Don't you wish you'd kept em on?
o. D. K.