Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-08-13
No Wonder Germany Quit
By BRIGGS
NUMBER FORTY-TWO

'One nlBnt early IN June, 1870
we went into the trenches for the
first time, relieving some veteran
French troops" said Major Frank
C. Mahin, of the Army Recruiting
Station, 325 Market street, Harris
burg. The next morning l started
out to make an inspection and see
how things were going with the boys
to see how many were scared and to
hear what had happened to the diff
ferent groups as the made the res
lief the night before. We were up III
ness mountains, clothed in forests,
with footpaths replacing trenches in
many places. There were rows of
trenches all right but the woods
were completely hidden and were
always used unless the Boche hap
pend to be strafing us. OF course
clear down in the front lines, the
trees were all shot away and we had
to use the trenches for thorough
fares. AS l came down the noun
?
ed smoke and also corn beef hash,
so l realized l was approaching a
company kitchen. Suddenly my ears
were assailed by as fluent and fiery
stream of profanity as it has ever
been my good fortune to hear.
Stand still you little, lop cared,
blank. If you step on my toes again
you gray skinned, moth eaten,
stringy tailed, son of a blankety,
blank, blank, I'll bite your blank
ears off. There wasn't never no
Missouri mule ever dreamed of hav-
ing your cussedness, you little,under
done runt Blankety, blank, get off
my foot Naliantly l leaped for
ward to rescue one of my men who
was undoubtedly about to be mas
sacred by the sneaking Hun. | ar
rived at the edge of a large fissure
in the rocks and looked down, nv
trusty gun in my hand, ready to do
or die for my beloved country. when
10! what burst upon my astonished
! VISION but couple of cooks sitting
In 'front.' of q cavern like kitchen,
hands in their pockets, tin hats on
the back of their heads, thoroughly
! enjoying the troubles a tall, lanky
Iennessean was having loading cans
, ~ NV wi IL DStl HdSn ana coffee
! onto the backs of fourteen veteran
donkeys. What a disappointment,
Here l was all primed to dash into
the midst of a mob of cowardIv
Huns, my automatic splitting bullets
and fire right and left till it was
| empty, whereupon l would seize
| the rifle of fallen Hun, and using
| II as a club, brain Huns right and
lett until terrified they would fall
on their knees and cry 'Kamerad.'
Whereupon l would magnanimously
cease my slaughter and order them
10 the rear to rot in a prison cage.
instead my eyes beheld a very
small donkey whose two fore feet
were firmly and determinedly plant
ed on the eleVens of a big buck SOL
dier, said buck soldier, between
oaths, being busily engaged in
! punching said donkey in the ribs
TO which treatment said donkey paid
not the slightest attention. Finally
having extracted his pedal extremi-
Ties from under the donkey's hoofs
my long lean friend picked the don
Key up under one arm, carried him
| over to where his cans were sitting
and Violently depositing the donkey
on the ground, caught his two ears
| 'iNit VIC manu- ana started loading
On Marmlte cans with the other. 7
round that each donkey had two
wicker baskets strapped on his back
and into each basket was loaded q
can of grub. Our official pack mas
ter, cargador, or whatever You might
call him, of the donkey pack train.
had had an inspiration. When he
got one donkey loaded, he put his
root against the donkeys hind outht-
ers and gave n mighty pust, tho
donkey braced frantically but skidd-
ed far enough to be out of the way.
Our friend would then pick up an
other donkey under one arm and
carry it over, load it and repeat the
performance, until finally the break
fast for two hundred and fifty men
started walking down towards the
trenches, shepherded by our dough-
boy. From the kitchen 1t was over
four miles through the trenches and
paths to the last of the front line
groups, and by the time their break
| fast got there those men were ready
for supper, and anybody except a
southern mountaineer would have
| lost the last vestige of grace and
charity he had ever possessed try
ing to get those blankety, blank
| donkeys to go to the place they
were supposed to CO."