South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-03-09


A West Virginia minister says In
is just as wrong to gamble when
YOU win as when you lose. Yes. it
/ is, but the brother can't realize how
much harder it is on the appetite
when one loses. AS long as il is
wrong, anyway. the average gam
/ bier would just as soon win.
We have a notion that in the COM
ing year there are going to be many
small fry frock-coated politicians
10 be crucihed upon the cross de
guerre.
When we see the COWS biting off
mouthfuls OF tender. green grass,
we almost wonder how it is some
trace Of butterfat doesn't OCCASION
ally escape the separator and get
into the milk the town people have
70 drink.
Storler Storkerson. the Artic ex-
plorer. used an iceberg as a trans
port. an ottawa dispatch declares.
land landed on the coast Of Northern
Alaska An iceberg as a trans
port, The gag hasn't been used
/ fov three years. Was it Charles
Evan Hughes2
We do not know that our readers
expect us 70 note evidences of prog
ress in this column. but, if the mat
/ ter interests them, one of our new
neighbors who lives near us on Lin
coin way +. has a new rooster that
is egostical about his voice. II
must either belong TO John Schind-
Ter. Charlie Endlich. Ralph Feig. r.
II. Ahara or W. B. Hosford. II
can't be NIaurer; he lives miles
from US.
1t is well enough for folks al
icials TO understand that "self
determi nation" and selfish deter
animation are by no means synony-
nous.
We suppose our readers heard
about that Chicago paper carrying
a front page story to the effect that
il was. Mishawaka's mayor who was
responsible for getting the govern
ment to come across with a bonus
for all soldiers and sailors who en-
listed during the war. We are
sometimes accused of stretching ii
when attempting to boost Misha-
waka's greatness. but hanged if We
.ar
The new war taxes will send
prices Of cigarets and fve-cent
cigars up a-kiting. 1t doesn't touch
us. since cabbage will not be taxed
when combined with corned beef.
\ Tennessee farmer excavated one
or two little fresh mounds on his
place and found them rollicky with
ticker. There will probably be q
great rush to this fusel oil field.
A Boston doctor says that one
cause of influenza is the habit Of put.
ting too many clothes on a naturally
naked animal like man. But, doe.
tor the women have influenza quit,
as much as men, and you can
charge il TO clothes there.
Capt. Eddie Rickenbacker ran in.
to a female kissing barrage in Co.
lumbus Our notion is that the vol
unteer system as applied to Eissine
is not as satisfactory As the draft
All the members OF the president:
cabinet are church members, except
Postmaster Gen. Burleson, but witr
one exception of 10 Daniels who is q
Methodist. all OF them are Presbyter.
ians and Episcopalians We are sorry
for Daniels. IL is pretty hard fOl
one little Methodist 10 have 10 fur
nish the warmth and fervor for ar
entire cabinet of Presbyterians and
EpisCopalians.
Every transport that brings home
a load OF soldiers ought 10 take bach
a cargo Of nuisances. idiots. ignora
|. muses. and direlicts who ought never
20 have been admitted. And don
omit a bunch of hyphenates for tn,
steerage.
NIishawaka is troubled with toe
large a group OF men who are eX
pecting the town 10 make then
rich without any effort on their par
20 make the town grow.
This picture OF Fred G.. Eberhar
was taken before lie had begun L
cultivate a mustachio OF the Charli'
Chaplin variety. our artist designe,
] the ornament which sits very be
4 comingly on the wearer's organ o
4 + speech. The Eberhart family ha
! had much TO DO with making Mish