davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

J. d. Montgomery of this city and
Miss Ada Irrons, of Wyanoka. Okla,
were united in marriage at the home
of the grooms sister. Mrs. c. II. Suit
ton in East Slaton, at 4 o'clock Tues
day afternoon, Rev. A. V. Hendrix.
pastor of the Methodist Church, Of
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

mage will not pay"
Yes, we are going to have a rous-
ing Christmas here. Our people have
worked hard; they have made the
dough, and they are entitled to a
good old peaceful Christmas with the
Merry" tide on good and strong.
Come to Terry; God love her san
dy" heart.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

ficiating. Only few Of the closest
friends and relatives were present
They will make their home in Saltonn.
We Join host Of friends in extend
ing congratulations and best wishes
for long, happy and prosperous life'
-Slaton Slatonite
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Miss Addie Kirksey. Of Rails, who
is teaching in Abilene high school
spent between trains with Miss Hal
sey last Saturday.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Mr. Bowers, Of the Merrill Hotel.
bought a section Of land four miles
north Of town from Mrs. Fraser, con
sideration s25. 900.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

We are closing out our line OF
"Vitanola" Photographs at cost
Riley Duff 4 Co. 2b-z
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

J.. r Stephens Of Celeste, sold his
farm three miles southwest of town
TO Mr. Reed.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Mis- Willie Kate Meador. ward
principal Al Amarillo. and Mas May
neador, ~ rosi. are hers 70 Will
homsfolkk
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Mrs Ella NJ. Hall. Of Holly springs
Mss. mother Of Mrs. II A. Davidson,
viii spend several wesks with her
daughter here.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

We are closing out our line of
"Vitanola" Photographs at cost =
Riley Duff & Co. 25-2
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

We are closing out our line OF
Rilev Duff & Co. 25-2
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Messrs. Lowell Page and Mat San
ders of Lorenzo, were in town Friday.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Jno. n. Moore sold his farm two
miles north Of Canyon school house
for $4,000.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Messrs W. T. Dunn. G.. N. Mckee
and r. NJ. Parker, were over from
Crosbyton Saturday.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Mr.. Euhanks. Of Amarillo. has ae-
eepted a position with the Western
Union NJ thla place.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

We are closing out our line Of
"vltanola" Paragraphs a eost -
Riley Duff a Co. asa
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Mr.. and Mrs. bud Arnett were IN
from the ranch Saturday Xmas SHOP
ping.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Charlie Middleton returned from
Amarillo Thursday of last week.
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Roger Pierce left Saturday 10 Join
he family IN Fort Worth
The Lubbock avalanche. (Lubbock, Tex.) 1909-1922, 1919-12-25

Ma. Mabel DannsIl lsfs saturday
10 spend the holidays a susslxsisr
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
g3unlbl8 a36q6B zind j
~ & a.. IL ~

WE TURN A DEAF EAR TO
CRIES FOR MERCY.
c. H. Rock and ]. E, Stone are
not related to each other.
H. G. Shedd doesn't live in one.
Ben S. Baker has never been one;
neither has DR.. P. T. Barber; nor
Dan Butler.
Dean Swift and J. c. Quick are
not related to each other.
They might have used G. w. Hull
during the shortage of ships.
Lee Huff never gets into one.
You might hunt all day for A. w,
Hunt.
George H. Payne and w. A. Glass
are scarcely acquainted.
Do you know Fred c. Hill and
Fred B. Dale?
O.
PECCAVI.
The better we get to know some
people, the less admiration we
have for ourself.
The Battling Schoolboy.
From school examination papers
THE law allowing a man one wife
is called monotony."
when England was placed under
an interdict the pope stopped all
births, deaths and marriages"
Louis XIV was gelatined during
the French revolution"
Give Us the Grain-WeIl Over
come the Obstacle.
Threshing in this vicinity is
about at an end, but the next
great obstacle will be in hauling
to market the thousands of BUSH
els of grain produced in this vi
cinity.-Hemingford Ledger.
THE WERE 1T" STATE,
There was once a Kansan who. ad-
mitted that something new and good
originated outside Of Kansas. He
was confined TO an insane asylum.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23

Friendships place where / will not
be lonely whilst / am in the Prov
ince looking at sights. The only
sight / did see since falling from a
freight was Everett Buckingham
signing a pledge to abstain from
near-beer. Now, / must cherish
rest. | must seek seclusion from
feminine raiment and wiles. | must
not be troubled with awfternoon
teas and crap-shooting, for / must
meet humans who will show me
through the province. In what
haven of seclusion will | find Sir
John Latenser, Thomas Quinlan,
Ward Burgess and Thomas Flynn,
who schemes with Sir Joseph Hay
den?"
And Sir o'Neil did not think
ooh Goofe," he did say, pull
dead ahead; tuck in your &unning
light, land lubber, and enter yon
Athletic club building; heaye the
anchor, pull in your torpedo net and
shout, Ship ahoy! I'm here.p
To Athletic Club Building.
And Goofe did pace dead ahead
to yon Athletic club building and,
secluded from effeminity, he did ut
ter words with Sir John Latenser,
Thomas Quinlan, Ward Burgess,
Thomas Flynn and Joseph Hayden.
Coolies escapades in the Athletic
club will follow shortly.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Goofie At Last Sees Sights
Of the Province Of Omaha
After Spending Weary Night Flirting With the
Coolies at Hotel de Ringer, Goofe Drops Into the
Athletic Club Building. ~-< ...s

And Goofe Cook, six-feet-six and
lanky. did sleep with the coolies
that night, for did not the supper
less Julius take him to bunk in the
Hotel de Ringer? And did not
Goohe smoke the judges flor de
rope until he did grow exhausted
into deep sleep? 1888
1t so happened the following
morning that Goohe was still bent
on seeing the byways of the prov
ince of Omaha. But Goohe was
sore of heart, for at no time since
his advent into the Windy City did
brass band meet him; nor did the
Chamber of Commerce offer to
Goohe remnant of.the fatted calf;
nor did Sir John w. Gamble donate
his services to show Goohe Ger fair
Omaha.
Hungry for Chow.
And as Goofie did grow hungry
for chow, etc, he did direct his
courses dead ahead up the via Of
Douglas until he did nearly stun
Bile DER one human, small and wear
ing the rainent of the prodigal son
in all his glory. 1t did happen that
the human was DR.. James O'Neil,
who did say to Goofe: ooh Goohe,
where art thou directing thy
course?" For Sir O'Neil did take
pity upon Goofe. And Goohe did
reply in accents soft and sleuthful:
Il am looking for a harbor of
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
"a HAFEU RECONSTRUCT
ny NOME POWER

J Readjusting our pipe to another
and more suitable angle. we sort Of
wake up and note that the war has
taught US several things.
Helluva lot of things need recon-
struction. For instance, there are old
barns, society, politics, religion,
business, etc. In fact, il you sit
right down and concentrate, there
amt hardly nothing that don't need
reconstruction. Look at your brains
for instance. How long Is it since
you have given them some exer-
else. You ought to take them out
and dust them. ~ +"
We thought that things would be
the same as they were before the
war. Huh! They make a big row
about the price of butter coming
down, but our pocketbooks don't
look any fatter than they did in
1914, and that is FIVE years ago.
The elixir of life is drawn out Of
the body poiitix, or will be on July
/. There is got to be some tall hust-
ling to improvise new lubricating
oil to take the place of the liquid
coin. If the weaker sex are now
supposed to be equals, it will Ger.
tainly conserve lot of elbow grease
in not having to tip our hat to
Talk about efficiency experts.
Isn't there an expert on efficiency
experts around the country some
where?
This red tape business gets my
goat. How am going to figure out
how much pencil has been worn out
in writing this article and how much
gray matter used. Wouldn't it con-
serve paper to use both sides and
not have any margin?
In passing, would like to recon-
struct the proofreader, who has
been trying to reconstruct my ar
ticle for me, but | suppose this re-
construction stuff is in the air.
Do you ever think they'll cure a
fellow in trying to butt into some
body elses' business? Do you think
they'll ever cure these fool women
chasing after the styles whether they
are becoming to them or not? The
man that tries to reconstruct human
nature has got some big job.
Still our president wants to recon-
struct the whole world.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
God Bless Man They
Want to Kill, Good
Sons Of Erin Pray

Thomas Lynch and Jerry Howard
met on a recent day in public thor
oughfare. The conversation veered
around to the thought that the Iyish
are kindly and loving people, even
under adverse circumstances.
Illustrating his point, Howard told
the following story which Lynch re-
peatcd at meeting he attended dur
ing the week:
There was a bunch of Irishmen
hid in a hedge alongside of a road,
and they had their guns with them
and their pixies and their blunderbus.
ses. and they were waiting to kill
their landlord when he should pass
that way But he did not come Il
suppose some dirty informer gave
the whole scheme away and at last
one of these laddie bucks stuck his
head out of the hedge and looked
down the road. No sign nor trace Of
the landlord; and says he TO his
comrades, God bless him and save
him, the poor man, | hope nothing
has happened to him
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Wants Lid on Movies;
Husbands Learn to
Choke Their Wives

Ali the wives in one small town
in Nebraska (name withheld by cen
sor) are solid phalanx in favor Of a
moving picture censorship bill.
One Of them wrote the reason
why to G. F. Akers of the Para
mount Film company
"Since your last serial shown in
our town, where the villain chokes
his wife in the last act, there has
been an epidemic of husbands chok-
ing their wives" she wrote.
i hope your husband took you
40 times" was the reply Akers wrote
but did not send.
Versatile Harry Goldberg of the
Sun theater, argues against the CEN
sorship. Of moving pictures, using
thisvery instance as an example.
Most of our pictures show their
husbands paying the most beautiful
attentions to their wives-candy,
flowers, jewels. Then why shouldn't
the wives take their husbands to
see these pictures often-and LET
the lesson soak in" he suggests.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Bouquet of Live Human Interest Stories About People
Eligible Omaha Bachelors

name and neither was Smith. So
he emphasized the "Farnam" part
Of it and ever since has been known
by the rotund name of w. Farnan
Smith.
Farnam was born back In '63, and
also back in Boston, Mass, His ia
Their, Henry Farnam Smith, was
born in Quincy, Mass. Old, New
England stock, you see, Of English
descent.
Farnam was educated in the pub
lie schools Of Quincy and finished
off at Thayer academy, Braintree.
Mass. His father died when he was
boy and he and his mother moved
away out to Lincoln, Neb., il 1883,
where Farnam got a job with the
Burlington railway. In 1887 they
moved to Omaha where the young
man went into the real estate and
insurance business, in which he has
been ever since.
He has built up big business and
accumulated fortune. He has a
reputation as heavy and indefatig-
able worker. When he isn't working
at his own business he's doing
something in the Chamber Of Com
merce or other public capacity. He
is a republican politically and an
Episcopalian reiigiously. He is an
active knight in the court Of the
great king, Ak-Sar- Ben.
There With S. o. G.
They do say that Farnam has
been the chevalier for half dozen
or more crops of fair debntantes in
Omaha society oh, yes, he's right
there with the social chatter.
He is clever at repartee, turns a
witty "bon mot" is subtle with
compliments, and, in general, has
the gift of the southern courtesy"
though he comes from Puritanical
New England.
He lives at the Omaha club, COLTS
and dances at the Omaha Country
club, swims and gyms at the Omaha
Athletic club, frequents the Omaha
Chamber d Commerce.
Before the days of automobiles,
tits said, Farnam had a swell car
rage, sort of coupe affair in
which he sat out in the front seat
and drove the horses while his
guests sat inside the glass. He was
his own chauffeur in those days and
in rainy weather il wasn't altogether
pleasant. But it was stylish.
Oh, yes, girls, and he likes the
theater very much, too. You'd get
to see all the good things that coma
along Think it oysg
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Seek Out the Fat Man But
AS to Fat Women--Look Out
Everybody Loves the Fat Man. But Give the Fat Girl
Plenty Of Room; You Meet Her in Every Town You
Visit on Your Journey

"Fat People" was the subject
under discussion by two eastern
delegates to the Transmississippi
REIMBURSEMENT congress. They were
men Of affairs, leaders in the world
activity, prominent and influential
in their respective fields of en-
deavor. Seated in one of the Of
fees of the Chamber of Comerce
during the lunch hour, they were
enjoying their cigars, or srather
smokes" One was putting a
cigaret. The FIRST number on the
afternoon program was scheduled
for 2 o'clock and they had minutes
to spare.
No one loves fat man." echoed
the one with the cigaret, who for
the past 10 years has accepted as
final the decision of the bootblack
as to his needs in the way Of a
shine.
His companion of the cigar was
thin. He wanted to say something
to buoy the spirit Of the betty one.
Always Good Natured.
"But did you ever observe that a
fat man always is good natured? ]
have travelled around this old world
some little bit. I know what it is
to be a stranger in a strange land.
l have been so much of an alien
in the big towns that it was neces
sary to inquire of persons / did not
know the location Of a street. / have
experienced the lonely feeling to
such depressing extent that a
short answer, or impatient reply
to my simple inquiry cut into where
it hurt. There are times when a
fellow likes to avoid such ex-
perience.
"The best way to miss this most
unpleasant contact is to shy away
from the skinny fellow. Always
ask fat man"
Good boy! But how about the
fat woman? You know we have
ito reckon with the ladies these
days" The big man behind the
cigaret was a good listener. He
was benevolent and wanted to hear
something nice about his fat sister
Easy, old man. Step softly. This
is confidential I would not be
quoted for the world, He dipped
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
''Miked'' in Horse Race
Game, Thinks Dicks ?
in With the Swindlcrs

What detectives are supposed to
know would FIJI Webster's una
bridged several times and some to
spare, but they frequently are
"stumped" when the victim Of a
confidence game makes a "squawk."
Anyhow, here's what happened
to two of the city sleuths last week.
A farmer, fresh from the stock
yards, or wherever farmers do come
from, was mixed" on the old reli-
able horse-racing swindle. Right af-
ter the deal was perpetrated he met
the two sleuths. Somehow or other
he knew he was robbed.
"Sayl" exclaimed the farmer, 81
been robbed Of $1,000 on a horse
race. Il was my share of the wheat
grown on two acres of dads farm
out near Galloway" e..
Where d'ya get that stuff re-
joined one of the detectives, don't
pull that on us; they amt had no
horse-raees here since way last
summer"
And the farmer went>away think
ing the detectives were in collision
with the swindlers.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
See Each Other for
First Time Since '82
Through Bee Picture

Pictures do many a queer thing
and the picture of the Wyoming
Four" in Tuesdays Bee has an i'm
teresting sequel.
1t went to the home Of C. w.
Neff, 1924, Dodge street, and there
he saw the name of Jess Yoder, OF
Cheyenne, Wyo.
'He phoned me next morning, .
said Mr.. Yoder, "and asked which
are you, the big man?'"
mo-" answered Mr.. Yoder, "the
man next to him. But who is thisln
And "this" proved to be an old
man whom Mr.. Yoder's grandfather
had raised back in Iowa and who
had not seen the boy" Jess Yoder.
since 1882.
"E1e was down at the hotel this
morning" said Mr.. Yoder. "and for
once, at least. we were glad Of a
picture
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Who's Looney Now?
When They Wooed and Won

big jeff" the new congressman
from the Second Nebraska district.
did not play g ukelele beneath the
window Of his sweetheart during the
days Of his ceurtship at the Univer-
sity Of Michigan. He was a star on
the gridiron and a lurninary in the
debating team, but he displayed no
proves on the mandolin or ukeiele.
He wasn't that kind Of boy.
Albert w. Jefferis was attending
Ann Arbor at the time the accom-
panying picture was taken. About
Is years ago he was playing center
on the Ann Arbor team and during
an exciting game he was kicked in
the back. At the. place where he
boarded was a young woman-then
in the freshman class-and her name
was Helen ]. Maiarky. She viewed
the battered form Of the hero of the
foot ball team and admired his for
titude under great pain. When he
represented Ann Arbor during the
finals of an intercollegiate debating
contest with Wisconsin she sat in
front seat and followed every word
spoken by the man who soon will go
to the national congress from this
district.
And then the days passed and the
seasons came and went, until Mr.. JEFF
ferris was graduated, which was in
1898. The one who had commiser-
ated him when he was injured and
had applauded when he debated, was
graduated two years later, but in
the meantime the postal department
was in operation and it cost only
two cents to send a letter either
way. The then Miss Malarky went
from her graduation to Minneapolis
where she taught two years. On
bright spring day Mr.. Jeferis told
his Omaha friends that he had ''iui-
portant legal business in Mime
apolis. So he iourneyed northward,
and proposed.
Did he make a fine speech when
he pleaded his case in Minneapolis?
He AYERS that it was the worst
speech he~ever made, but he won
his case. The verdict was rendered
IN his favor without even arguing
the case. He can not remember
one word that he said on the occa-
sion.
He was married at Oregon. ILL.,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Recruiting for Navy
Picks Up, Many Former
Soldiers Re-EnIisI

Ensign Charles E. Mas will
take charge Of the United States
navy recruiting station in this city
tomorrow, February 10. He re-
lieyes Ensign Fred G. Condict, who
has made host of friends while
stationed in Omaha and who re-
turns to his home in st. Louis to
resume his post as city editor of tine
Globe-Democrat.
The Omaha recruiting station is
now main station and maintains
substations at the following points:
Grand Island, Nsb.. George A. sunder-
land, quartermaster third class, in charge.
Lincoln, Neb., Clyde C. Loveiady, chief
quartermaster, in charge.
Pierre S. D., Frank c. BurAi gunners'
mate third class, in charge.
Sioux City, Ia, Henry o. A. MarschneFs
chief yeoman, in charge.
Sioux Falls, s. D., William II. Lansing
coxswain, In charge.
Enlistments in the navy are now
for four years, and men enlisting
are usually sent to the Great Lakes
training station. Recruiting is very
brisk all over the entire United
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Run Down by Car! Hurry! He's
Dying, Woman Tells the Police

Nothing doingi The suspense was
terrible.
Then the patrol wagon without a
doctor was dispatched to the scene
of the accident.
A Mad Drive.
1t was a mad drive. Officer John
Coffey leaped from the wagon.
"Bedadl" he exclaimed, "the VIC
TINS gone"
A search finally discovered the
mangled remains of a white Fox
terrier lying in the street. He was
dead.
And the lady telephone operator
at the central police station wouldn't
believe the story when the patrol
wagon returned, for she had finally
reached a doctor and there he was
His instruments were all laid out
ready to operate and sew and stitch
and everything but lacking the
victim" G. L. Smith, Twenty-hrst
avenue and Howard street. owned
the dog.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23

"Dying, is he?" fairly shrieked the
lady telephone operator at the Cen
trail police station to a voice at the
other end of the line.
The other voice was a female
voice, too.
The tragic details Of an automo-
bile accident were being given to the
police.
Eyes," screamed the other voice,
IAN automobile struck him and
drove right onl Obi Its forriblel
"He's all cut and bleeding; maybe
he's dead"
"Wha-what's the address," asked
the lady police operator.
Five hundred and twenty-six
South Twenty-frst avenue" an
swered the frantic lady voice at the
other end e.. e
Then the lady telephone operator
began a futile attempt to reach a
doctor. Hurriedly she called list
of numbers.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23

w. Farnam Smith has seven
passenger touring car in which he
likes to buzz around. But his hap
piness isn't complete unless he has
about 81 poor little kids with him.
You can often see him in the
summer time driving out to the
park with car full of poor kiddies,
white and black. shouting and laugh
ing. And out in the park there is
ice cream and lemonade m ev'ry-
thing.
Same as Old Man HohenzoIlern.
wv" stands for William. AT an
early date young Smith decided
that William wasn't very classy
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
Maytlme Ecllpss ID Sun.

The total solar eclipse. May %. 1919, Will
be comparable with the eclipse Of last
summer in the long stretch Of continental
territory covered by the path Of totality.
though not in accessibility Of places along
the path. The track extends across South
America at its widest part, and also
across equatorial Africa. The duration Of
totally will be exceptionally long tsix
seconds or more). The Carnegie Depart
ment Of Terrestrial Magnetism, Washing
ton. Is planning to send two expeditions to
favorable points,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-02-23
In the Qld Homo Town.

In kue Via TONG 4OWus
Hazard Correspondence in Loup CT
Tlmes.l
1t is rumored that there will
be an attempt made to open a
pool hall here in the spring.
John Ernest, who lives east OF
town, sold his farm to c. H.
Roberts last week. We have not
learned what Mr.. Ernest intends
to do but we hope he don't leave
Hazard.
Quite number OF real estate
changes, but it is hard to get
particulars.
Heard the postmaster say the
other day that he was going to
put in a stock Of books. Hope
he does.
A number put on their winter
clothes this morning.
Our new blacksmith, Mr..
Redecl:ff, seems to be pretty
busy. We trust he will have BUSH
ness enough to permanently To-
cate him here as a good shop is
needed and will do we'll hnan-
tally.
No school last Monday on ac-
count of the teachers getting
stuck in the snow. The kids sure
were glad.
1t is getting so now that IL a
party has not had the fiji he is
not considered as being in first
1ae.lasa sncietw.