Arizona republican., 1919-08-05
BULLETIN

and tomorrow are asked,-nay,
 implored,-to communicate with
 the Summer Romance Editor at
 once. At an early hour this morn
 in, hurry up call was received
 from a summer widoWer of good
 standing entreatine this depart
 ment to come to his rescue. He
 had been wandering about town all
 last evening, alone, and said he
 could stand the loneliness no long
 CT. His telephone number and
 name may be obtained from this
 department. He assures that the
 choice of the show or park will be
 left to the lady, and that there will
 be no limit to the evenings expen-
 dtures
 Before tonight the department
 must also care for a recently made
 summer widower, at present living
 in bachelor institution. He too
 is very lonely. Full particulars
 may also be obtained at depart
 mental headquarters.
 The Summer Romance Department, devoted to the interests of summer widows and widowers, has hurry up call and earnestly asks that all sum- mer widows registered, or who have sent in their phone number, please come to the rescue at once.
 A young man, not married, but who claims he has been in Phoenxi six months without having a date with a person of the opposite sex has been admitted to the roster of summer wid- 1 overs. This is strictly against the rules of the department. but his tale of woe was so heartrending, that after an l two wit nfh hnf- do | partments of the paper it was decided to give him one chance at happiness.
 He claims he has been outnumbered i every time he has sought to call upon 1 young lady. Each and every time he has asked for date there have been 1 at least six ahead of him. Twice he 1 has arisen from his bed at the early l hour of , a. m. called up the object of l his would be attentions only to find i that she had just received a previous l call from some other admirer.
 He says he is starving for feminine 1 company and unless this department l takes compassion upon him he is going l to leave town never to return. Al though the department is not coloni- zation bureau it is going to endeavor to hold hin1 in the valley for awhile To that end will about a half dozen summer widows call in this afternoon and get his phone number? It abso- lutely has been guaranteed him that he will have an engagement before SIX | o'clock tonight. For this one case only it will be possible for unmarried girls to phone the department. It is not intended to enter that line of enter prise. for the department is not a matrimonial bureau by any means, but for the once the rules will be broken In the interest of the future welfare of the valley, as it were.
 Several testimonial letters were re- ceived by the department yesterday Thus far very few failures have beer recorded The books which contain the various lists have grown to bulky proportions and a card index file vii be installed shortly The names vii not by any means be published; every entry is strictly confidential and al letters are burned as soon as thei1 contents are digested. In others word: the evidence is destroyed
 The department wishes to explain though to one irate citizen that it i! not to blame if some one else takes hand in it's business and sends out fife titious calls It is deplorable that tn,
 
 and that she received the call. All sucl occurrences are apoligized for in ad vance and it is thought that people with any degree of honor will not stooI to such an action. but the departmen is perfectly willing providing the gen tleman will call here with his wife tC positively prove that his name is no and never has been on it's books.
 At the present time there are thre' very desirable young men waiting :; call from some summer widow. Un less a call is in before noon today con scription will be resorted to. for it i the business of the department to SCI that happiness is dispensed with lav ish hand.
 A local summer resort yesterday of fered a large sum for a peek at tn departments books in order that i might make up a mailing list for ad vertisement purposes, it being intendei to make special rates to all couple who have met through the agency O