The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-10-24
WOMEN
AND THINGS

I have been accused so often of being
absolutely reckless in the use of rs that
/ am glad to find another editor who
shamelessly owns up to the same fall
! ing.
1t is none other than Roe Fulkerson'
the originator of Andrew and lmogene,
whose sayings and doings are syndicated'
and also editor-in-chief of the kiwanis
Torch. 1t is in the magazine and not
in the dailies that he makes the damag-
| ing confession.
In order not to do him injustice,
will state that in The Torch he conducts
page under the heading. my Personal
Column" in which he says: Here the
editor abandons dignity, the plural pro-
noun, magazine customs of all kinds and
Just chats in a natural Chat is to say,
foolsh) way with you fellows" (meaning
Kiwanians). No one is responsible but
him." This being so, reach out my
hand to him as true brother in the
ink.
Then he plunges into sad personal
story, which begins, Il lost cuff button
| yesterday" He got my attention at
once, and L do believe if he had set 1t
down that on arising he had dropped his
collar button and spent half hour
crawling under the bed, running his arm
under the bureau and even opened the
closet door to Sc if through perverseness
it had rolled on the inside, that I would
have wept inconsolably through unre-
strained sympathy, but being mere
"cuff button" 1 managed to control my
emotions
Roe may be careless in the use of per-
sonal pronouns, but real reckless
ness Is shown in his admission that he Is
one of the few people left in the world
willing to admit that he once knew the
meat packers well, and that they were
nice to him, and that because he helped
them eat couple of banquets, one at
the Willard in Washington and the other
at the Auditorium in Chicago, they gave
him a dandy pair of cuff buttons L sup
pose if he had assisted them in eating
one at the Tutwiler that they would have
felt SO kindly towards him for his sac
riflce that they would have given him
a watch and chain.
He says the reason he was so fused
up about losing the button because it
was a dandy pair Oh, Hoe! Is it pos
sible the beef trust had to go to the
4 extreme of spending real money to get
you when the papers told of western
senator who bit at a juicy beefsteak. |
am glad for the editorial fraternity that
you came higher than a mere states
man. You'll arrive some day if you
need to call in the police.
guy"
Roe admits that he is something of a
Sherlock Holmes, for when his missing
link disappeared he began to cogitate his
brains to ascertain how it got uncoupled.
But let him tell about his own detective
work: Il began to investigate the cause
and found that the button was lost be-
cause the button holes in my cuffs are
the same size now as they were five
years ago" It was something to be able
to establish the fact that the buttor
had not been stolen and therefore nc
i red to call in the police.
The strong arm of the law might re
main inactive, but not Roes mighty intel
lect 1t had a task before 1t to roo
out the trouble and remedy it. Hear him
Five years ago l wore starched cuffs
and now 1 wear soft cuffs. The buttor
holes which were correct size wher
starched are twice as big as they SHOULD
be for a soft cuff He had lit on {
great fact He had established beyond
cavil in his own mind that there wa
a discrepancy in the size of the but
ton and the slit into which 1T was to b
, inserted.
But what good was the knowledge i
6epc to himself. He had found wa,
to keep from losing cuff buttons and a
the same time save money for the man
:, ufacturers of shirts. When he unfold
the scheme it is as clear as day. IF tn
: one-half their present size he could saw
half the Stitchlng and give the shirt
wearer a better article" But havin
found out this economy for the shirt
maker he was not going to play favor
n ties, being a good Kiwanite.
: So what does he do? Hear we him: q
:. went to jeweler, hoping in vain t
:, match the other button, and he tell
. me that the jewelry trade has half
dozen inventions on the market to pre-
vent the button slipping out of sol
i cuffs Then he points the moral t
adorn his tail by asking: do you knov
what's the matter with the shrtmakers?
He answers it himself: They do nc
belong to the Kiwanis clubs.
'Tf shirtmakers had belonged to tn
/. Kiwanis clubs they would have bee
: thrown in contact with jewellers and be
: tween them they would have talked th
:. matter over or some other fellow woul
: have talked it over with the shirtmake
: and he would have reduced the expens
of producing q shirt and would hav
bettered the shirt to its wearer.'
i, Having established beyond controvers
a the facts he set out to demonstrate liR