davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
BROUGHT HIM BACK TO EARTH
Literal Suggestion Made by Old Souse
Was Not Exactly the Answer
Orator Desired.

The literary society was meeting in
Odd Fellows hall. Rev. Josiah Dob
son presided. Hon. James Bolivar
McHenry, the noted orator from the
adjoining county, was speaking on
.The Peace Table" and the audience
was rapt in respectful attention.
"And that was what they conceded, z
he concluded. 81 ask you, fellow citi-
zens, what does this nation need?
What is her necessity, as she leaves
the far western shore and steps proud
ly across the Pacific, and in the eye
of the world lays the hand of democ-
racy upon the brow Of the Orient?
What I repeat, does she need?"
Rubber bootsh," hiccoughed The
town souse.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
Satisfied.

The gray-haired stranger bent over
the desk.
.sAre you the society editor?" be
asked.
81 ann
Are you the person who wrote up
the account Of last nights big recep-
tion?''
Yes anything wrong with it?''
That's what / want to find out.
Look here. notice in speaking OF
any daughter you use the sentence
She swept about the room with an
inherited grace that arrested every
ones attention. Now, what was your
purpose in writing that?"
why, it struck me as first-class
opportunity for neat compliment to
her esteemed parents; that's ALL.
you are sure that you didn't mean
to insinuate that her father laid the
foundation of his fortune by selling
broomssp
Certainly not
Because I did, you know"
II didn't know it."
"'Then that's all right. Good day.
Dallas News.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
THE MOST DANGEROUS
OF ALL DISEASES

Get some GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules at once. They are an old,
tried preparation used all over the
world for centuries. They contain only
old-fashioned, soothing oils combined
with strength giving and systemic cleans
ing herbs, well known and used by ply
ported direct from the laboratories in
Holland They are convenient to take,
and win either give prompt relief or
your money viii be refunded. Ask for
them at any drug store, but be sure
to get the original imported GOLD
MEDAL brand. Accept no substitutes
In sealed packages. Three sizes.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

No organs Of the human body are so
Important to health and long life as the
kiGleys. When they slow up and CONF
mence to lag in their duties, look out I!
Danger is in sight.
Find out what the trouble iswiith-
out delay. Whenever you feel nervous,
weak, dizzy, suffer from sleeplessness,
or have pains in the back, wake up at
once. Your kidneys need help. These are
signs to warn you that your. kidneys
are not performing their functions
their work and are allowing impurities
to accumulate and be converted into
uric acid and other poisons, which
are causing you distress and Will de-
gtroy you unless they are driven from
RNl1r system
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
Truth and a woman's age are not
on speaking terms.

Watch cuticura Improve Your Skin.
On rising and retiring gently smear
the face with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off Ointment in five minutes
with Cuticura Soap and hot water. It
is wonderful sometimes what Cuticura
will do for poor compilations, dandruff,
itching and red rough hands.-Adv.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

Catarrh is a local disease greatly inf1us
enced by constitutional conditions. IL
therefore requires constitutional treat
ment. HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE
Is taken internally and acts through the
Blood on the Mucous Surfaces of the Sys-
tenn. HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE
gives the patient strength by improving
The general health and assists nature in
doing it's work. $4,000 for any case OF
Catarrh that HALLS CATARRH
MEDICINE fails to cure.
Druggists 76c Testimonials free
+. ]. Cheney q Co., Toledo. Ohio.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
Hard to DIGEST.

Binks-'The under crust to that
chicken pie you brought me was
abominably tough" Waiter There
wasn't any under crust to that pie,
sir; it was served on a paper plate
and you've eaten it."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
SLING Gives Relief.

Great relief from pain in neuritis of
the arm has been gained from the use
of a sling described by DR.. R. T. Will
hanson in the British Medical Jour-
nal. The sling passes over the shoul-
der of the unaffected arm and under
the elbow of the painful arm in such
a way that it slightly raises it. This,
by raising the shoulder and collar
bone, takes off the pressure upon the
nerve roots and prevents the weight
of the arm from dragging on these
nerves.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
Senatorial Courtesy.
what is senatorial courtesy p

what IS senatorial courtesy?"
Senatorial courtesy" replied Sena-
tor Sorghum, consists largely in re-
naming silent so ostentatiously that
anybody can guess what unpleasant
things you must be thinking about Z
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

II man is able to collect his
thoughts he can pull through without
borrowing trouble.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
New Telephone Table.

An inventor has invented compact
telephone table which can be folded
to even smaller dimensions for moving
from room to room.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

A minister talks about his "work,"
but the male members of his congre-
cation are apt to call it snap"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

Love is a good deal like stubborn
mule. There's no telling what kind
of stunt it will do next.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

A woman doesn't necessarily cry
when she sheds tears.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
ASPIRIN FOR COLDS

Insist on "Bayer Tablets Of Aspirin"
IN .sBayer package, containing prop
er directions for Colds, Pain, Head
ache, Neuralgia, Lumbago, and Rheu-
matism. Name ssBayer'' means genuine
Aspirin prescribed BY physicians for
nineteen years. Handy tin boxes Of IL
tablets cost few cents. Aspirin is trade
mark Of Bayer Manufacture Of Mono
aceticacidester of Salfcylicacid.- ADV.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
The Effects Of opiates,

INFANTS peculiarly susceptible to opium and its various
preparations, all of which
smallest doses continued these opiats changes the func
intractabe
smallest
unavoidable.
The administration Of Anodynes Drops Crd Soothing
children
need the attention physician it nothing
dose them wilfully with narcotics.
n If p
ii. n 80
OfISEX LEZE<%
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

Matrimony has cured many an old
bachelor of selfishness.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

There is no man so ignorant that
you can not learn something from him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03
Doesn't hurt bit and Freezone
costs only a few cents.

With your fingers! You can lift on
any hard corn. soft corn, or corn be-
tween the toes, and the hard skin cal
luses from bottom of feet.
"A tiny bottle Of "Freezone" costs
little at any drug store; apply few
drops upon the corn or callus. In
stantly it stops hurting, then shortly
you lift that bothersome corn or callus
right off, root and all, without one bit
Of pain or soreness. Truly! No hum
bug ADV.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

a little 'Danderine" cools, cleanses
and makes the feverish, itchy scalp
soft and pliable; then this stimulating
tonic penetrates to the famished hair
roots. revitalizing and inyigorating
every hair in the head, thus stopping
the hair falling out, or getting thin,
dry or fading.
After a few applications Of ''Dander-
inc" you seldom find fallen hair or
particle Of dandruff, besides every hair
shows new life, vigor, brightness, more
color and thickness.
A few cents buys bottle Of de-
lightful "Danderine" at any drug or
toilet counter.-Adv.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

Quite Logical.
Elbow did the story you cooked up
to fool your wife pan out?'
"In a regular family stew"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-10-03

W. N. u, MILWAUKEE, NO. 4o-194o.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
SWAPPING THE FLY.

It Is at this season of the year that the campaign for the elimination of the fly is started. It is started early because that is advisable in any un- dertaking that is expected to succeed and it is well understood that by striking while the number is small much better results can be obtained befh in decreasing the advance guard and preventing the propagation of bill llops more. Every fly killed now n1kans not only the elimination of one bUt the checking of armies of others, tho removal of which would call for fer greater effort later on.
 frhe benefits which have been ob- tMned from the swatting- the-f1y cam pkgns in recent years must be such al to cause full recognition of the need ot doing all possible to keep down the number of what are referred to as e rpddlers of death.' But it should be understood that all the relief is not gofng to be obtained by swatting. That is one way of eliminating them, ak. well as screening is a method of restricting them, but 1t should not be forgotten that the most effective ser vice in this connection is bound to be rendered through the preventive meas urss that arc adopted. We can swat,
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
EDITORIAL NOTES,

The man on the corner says: Prob ably one of the hardest jobs to tackle is that of self reformation.
 April will certainly be most incon sidcrate if it doesn't make due allow ance weatherwise for the Easter bon nets
 conscious of the fact that the unfav- or1blc April weather is all directed e gainst their activities.
 With more going out than is coming in, there are many who can appreciate the position of the New Haven road as described by President Buckland.
 The denial of the report that revo- lution had broken out in Serbia was 10 be expected That country has seen enough bloodsncd without attempting more.
 The delay in the arrival of the right kind Of weather for the transatlantic airplane trip is furnishing time for just that much additional free adver- tising.
 IF President Wilson is going to wait Cor the signing of the peace treaty, there will be no special session of con- gress May first unless he calls it to- gether from over there IF the salaries of the employees of the utilities taken over py the govern ment continue to be raised, it will be necessary before long to float bond issue to provide the money. 1t is a mistake for anyone who Is obliged to part with their Liberty bonds to think of doing so without disposing of them to banks or others who will pay the full market price.
 With two officers and four Negroes | killed, another Iynched and church buildings burned, it is of course evil dent that the people in the state of Georgia are thoroughly opposed to lawlessness and disorder
 With cold storage houses filled and record hauls of fish being brought ir feet upon the price, except that it may be considered wiser to dispose of them to the fertilizer factories. l One of the sons of the former kali | ser is said to be anxious to come tC this country, which will probably be all that is needed to have Mayor Thompson of Chicago invite him te make his headquarters there.
 Even though the proposal to an1ene the league of nations covenant so as to recognize Japanese equality failed that country is going to get the same treatment as other nations and have just as much to say in the league.
 The lower house at Hartford dit the rroper thing in showing it's dis approval of the law to tax cats. It ha for years been treated as a joke ant there is no reason to make an, ! change.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19

erican EXpeditionary Force and that romance bloomed in France in spite of wars alarms is shown by the fact that more than six thousand French women have been wooed and won by The majority of French girls who have become Americans through marrying men and officers of the American Ex- peditionary Force are stenographers, salegir1s or teachers with a Sprinkling of peasant girls and those of the mid dle class or bourgeoisie.
 The romanceS are in most cases very similar. A soldier would be billeted with French fauily member of which would be a girl of marriageable age. Together they would delve into the intricacies of the French language sign language being promptly super seded by combination of Anglo French jibberish.
 The clean cut. healthy physique of
 the Americans, their politeness and generosity would appeal to the heart of the French girl who saw in the American the realization of her dreams AS a rule, the Americans also made no secret of the particular sympathetic feeling they had for the French girls
 and so as natural sequence. marriage resulted.
 Many such pairs now are puzzled whether the wife should accompany her husband to America or the bus i band should make his home in France ] It is expected that fully fifty per cent of the benedicts will adopt France fo
 their future home.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
SELLING WOODEN sHlPs.

All the wooden vessels which have been constructed iu this country since the cry for ships ships and more ship went up are not going 10 he thrown into the discard Many have been put into service. the shipping board ar the present time having more than a hundred in operation. with varying degree of success. though there are many that are idle and others on which work has been stopped before they were half com plcied.
 From the very time that steps were taken to produce wooden cargo car riers because Inc work could be done quickly and a great many hands could be set at work along this liuc wno could not be engaged in the construc- ton Of steel vessels there was a hot controversy over the merits of such ships. To a considerable degree the opposition Co them has been justified by results, but inasmuch as these ships have been constructed and are wait ing 10 be used it Is apparent that they have not got 10 be made oyer into barges or allowed to rot where they are tied by the purchase this week oi 15 Of them for transatlantic service and the probability that many more will be acquired for similar or coast wise transportation purposes.
 And in view of all that has beer said against the wooden saips tn, price that was obtained must Je re. garded as satisfactory. Selling then at a sacrifice of s2O a ton means tha the government has got to shoulder big loss, but that was to be expected in view Of the high cost of construc tion during the emergency aEG the lac that the government itself has openly deprecated the wooden vessels. Tha there are those however who see al opportunity for these ships mean much for the future of American shipping.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
Sunday Morning Tall,
 PEACE BEFORE MINISTRY

We must know peace before we can minister to those who long for it. We cannot even clearly describe that we have not known, nor con we tell a troubled heart how it may find that we have not known, nor can we own earnest efforts to discover. We can only sit with folded hands and a heart thrilling with the Knowledge of what has come to another with it's burden of pain so like what came to us one day-yet how to bear it bravely we cannot tell them unless we have learned the secret of resting quietly in a faith that is willing to trust all the losses and gains acci- dents and mysteries of this checkered life in the hands of One Whose power and love are sufficient to make it certain that He will keep the record and see that in the final adjustment we will receive all and more than is due.
 There was never a load frightened
 by shifting it on shoulders already
 bowed with heavy burdens. The sense of it remained to haunt us, we could not forget the look of weari-
 ness, the touch of pain in the tired voice that triefd to tell us to be brave. We were conscious of sympat thy, but not of comfort or Of peace, for they were strangers to both. If we would be ministers of joy. of peace Of consolation, we must conquer our uragements-forget our fears, let the sunlight of childlike faith i11 God into our troubled lonely hearts and then will come the benediction | of peace that vii fit us to comfort others Sorrow and pain are only of the earth life. When we - reach home we will forget how they haunt . ed our footsteps all along 7. the way They will be dim shadow of d soon | forgotten past.
 1 Peace, troubled heart. beyond these 1 bitter breeZes.
 Mid isles of paradise, in airs ol balm.
 1 Where cruel wind or word ne'el l wounds or freezes,
 .Ihou'lt gain at last the everlasting calm"
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
AGRICULTURAL OPPORTUNITIES,

Quite ia keeping with a certain movement which is underway in this country is the proposition before the Hawaiian legislature providing for the sending of commission to Washing ton to lay before congress the import ancc of bringing about changes in the laws whereby public lands there can be distributed. The desire is to permit Of homestead occupation of lands which are available for agricultural development with the apparent object of increasing the amount of foodstuffs that are produced there.
 Hawaii has been making big strides
 in this direction. What it can do in the way of growing, canning and marketing pineapplcs not only this but many other countries thoroughly understand. This business has under gone great development so that over eight and a half million dollars worth of what was mostly pineapples was shipped from the islands last year. In sugar q far greater business is done with last years production sent from the islands being valued at over s64,- GOO. 000, while it does a considerable business in coffee and fish.
 The governor and land commissioner of the islands have been given au- thority. to lease public lands for su- gar cultivation where leases had eX- pired or were about to, but there is apparently a desire to make perma- nent the development of the public lands fit for agriculture of which there are about 49,000 acres, out of a total public land acreage in the islands Of over l,64l,00
 i It is a good sign that the Hawaiians are anxious to increase their devel- opment and from it there ought to be gained d valuable lesson right hert ! of making the most of the agricultu- ru opportunities which are here pre- | s6ntcd.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19

when the weather is warm. They may be left out all night when there is no danger of frost. Plants for the main or late crop can be started out doors after the ground has become warm.
 Two methods are in vogue for growing tomatoes in home gardens. In the small garden the plants may
 be set two feet apart in each direc-
 tion and then pruned to a single
 stem and tied to stakes. Where
 plenty of land is available, the plants may be three to four feet apart and allowed to grow naturally upon the ground. It should be borne in mind however, that by trimming and tying
 the plants to stakes a better quality of fruit is obained. and that the fruit will ripen earlier than when they are not trimmed and trained. From 1 twenty-five to fifty tomato plants will be sufficient for growing in the | home garden, and this number will 1 furnish plenty of tomatoes for sum mer use and for canning.-United 1 States Department of Agriculture.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19
MANDATORY FOR TURKEY.

From the reports that are coming from Paris it is indicated that it has not been determined just what dispo- sition is to be made of Turkey, or if it has it is not being told. This is based upon a report to the effect that France and Great Britain have agreed under a mandatory in view of t.eir ri- val claims for control in certain ter ritory of the near east and will ask that the United States will set up a mandatory in an internationaiized Constantinople.
 For some time there has been a de- sire manifested that the United States should assume mandatory control over Armenia. This would not con- flict with the French and British claims, but this country wants no sdch responsibility. To assume the task which it is said the two other powers are anxious to place on it's shoulders would mean that we would have to look out not only for Armenia hut all of Turkey. Regardless of the fact that the job might not be a desirable one this country is not now involved in telling any part of Europe or Asia what it shall do. It is not interested in them except so far as maintaining that tho rights of humanity saould be respected and it does not want to get entancled in any such work. The idea of acting as mandatory for Armenia, while great sympathy is felt for tl'ose people is not acceptable.
 According to the Monroe doctrine this country does not wish foreign countries to direct affairs in this hemisphere. Consequently it does not want to dip into the. governments of the other hemisphere. It therefore can not accept such proposition as is re- ported. Turkey cannot go on as it has but it is for the entente nations to dc the guiding. We have enough to dc right here at home and in our insulal possessions.
Norwich bulletin., 1919-04-19

r. Is a decidedly different Easter which the world will welcome this year from what it has observed in tlie past few years. The great strug- gle is over. The war that has in- voived most or the large nations and affected an of them. large or small. has been brought to au end. Where we were a year ago in the midst of the great German drive westward in fhe endeavor 70 reach the coast and surround Paris with success attending their operations from day TO day. we are now on the eve oi a peace which 0 is to be hoped will mean the end of all such struggles a peace that is be- ing secured through terrible sacri- iices and at tremendous cost with a view 70 permauency and the better ment of the world.
 The message which this anniversary of our Saviour's resurrection with all its joy and gladneSs brings To the world reminds Us of the new order of things that was instituted centuries ago. ard nothing IS more fitting than hat the progress in the peace making Arrangements has reached such a stage
 hat it has been apuouncad that the allied nations are in full accord re- Earding Inc adjustment and that the signing or the peace treaty will in all probability he a matter of but a few days. By the grace or God right and justice have triumphed
 Thus this Easter looks upon what it is hoped will be the resurrection of the world from the misery, disorder and general adversi,y into which it was plunged by the war. A new or- der of things is about 10 be set up and may it he a purer better. happier and freer world than has existed in the past