The Washington herald., 1919-08-31

sInCnd lor u guest at q SUMMER uotei
IL the sun Is shining outside when
inside he is boiling like a kettle
Mawrussf Furthermore. Mawruss, II
the management of the Blackface Inn
could of arranged things so that only
them guests which paid rs cents an
hour for the privilege could of en-
joyed the sunshine, y'understand, they
would of done SO, Mawruss. and they
would of also posted a notice in the
hotel office that owing to economic
conditions following the war. on and
after August l. the rates for sun
shine would be 90 cents an hour with
a minimum charge of two hours in
advance, because the water falls,
which the management had boarded
up and charged IS cents admission to
last year. now costs 30 cents to see"
DO you mean to say that them
people actually has the nerve to
charge their guests for looking at
water faus7" Morris asked.
Il mean to say that If there was
any way for the proprietor of sum-
mer hotel to charge an admission to
a cool wave, Mawruss. he would do
so, not including the amusement tax.
Abe declared. TT must poison them
summer hotel proprietors' whole lives
when they think that It amt feasible
to build a high board fence around
the Atlantic Ocean and make anyhow
10 cents a head out of the PROPOSE
! ton. Take for instance the pure
spring water which Providence sup
piled to that Blackface Inn, and the
proprietor supplies it to his guests
in secondhand bottles against the
provisions of the Bottle Registration
Law Sor 50 cents a bottle, and II
after ths>priginal contents Of the bot
tie got emptied out, an insect or two
went to housekeeping in the bottle.
Mawruss. the proprietor of the Black
face Inn don't charge nothing for that
neither, but that is only because in
sects amt in such great demand
among the guests of summer hotels.
Otherwise summer hotel proprietors
in mountain resorts could make
fortune out of mosquitoes alone. and
at the same time schenck his guests
all the other man-eating insects which
he has got inside and outside his
hotel"
Seemingly. then, you didn't profft
a whole lot from your stay up in the
mountains" Morris observed.
who says didn't profit?" Abe re-
weeks roughing it in a modern, up
to-date summer hotel. when for six
months afterwards 1t is going to
make boiled beef with horseradish
sauce seem like a banquet already?
Let me tell you, Mawruss. that the
summer hotels of this country is
doing more to make a married man
contented with his home for any
/ ha
from such summer hotels, than all
the Anti-saloon Leagues, Anti-Di-
vorce Leagues and Anti-Vice
Leagues combined. Take the aver
age orchestra in a summer hotel,
and when a Teller gets back to his
own apartment In New York after
listening to them musical murderers
for a couple of weeks, he feels like
sending word to the people across
the light shaft in the next apartment
house which he has claimed all win
ter and spring that the police should
ought to prevent such carryings-o
y'understand, and asking them
wouldn't they be so good an run OF
a couple Of miles Of 110-Rote Ha-
waiian rolls on their pianols, be-
, cause musicians that play in sum-
mer hotels are usually doing It for
their board and would be overpaid
II they were working on the same
terms in a tea-room run by re-
duced gentlewoman who was on the
verge Of giving up the experiment
! and letting the landlord take the fix
lures on account Of the back rent.
| Yes, Mawruss. the way some summer
hotel orchestras play. y'understand.
hi nj a
/ vote on the program before coming
| into the dining room and that while
! the winners were playing the adopt
! ed program, a strong minority of
! losers was trying to put over an op-
position program and almost sue
ceeding, y'understand."
Maybe the management deliber-
ately fixed the orchestra so as to
/ take tie guests minds off of the
/ rotten cooking" Morris suggested.
] Summer hotel managements ain't
, bright enough for that, Mawruss,"
/ Abe said, otherwise you might argue
that they deliberately put one-and-a
half-inch cotton mattresses on 1892
model spring beds in order to make
/ their guests feel so grateful for being
UP and dressed in the morning that
they will overlook the quality of the
/ cold-storage eggs which is served for
/ breakfast. No, Mawruss. It amt
/ smartness which makes summer hotel
propretors, theater managers and
! popular price clothing dealers offer
! the public a rotten line of goods. 1t
I is banking on the motto of the Amer
| lean people, which is Better Luck
Next Time They figure that with
| the average American sitson, hope
| will win out over experience practi-
! cally in nine cases out of ten, so that
/ no matter how often you stick him
/ he will always come back for more,
and II the summer hotel proprietor
should go a little bit too far in try
/ ing to get by with the minimum OF
! expense, all he has to do is to ad-
vertise:
BALD MOUNTAIN TAVERN
formerly the Blackface Inn
UNDER ENTIRELY NEW
MANAGEMENT