davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
. Neat Comnromise.

/ Sisters of our returning heroes will please line up on the left" z said the chairman of the reception committee.
 "I'm not exactly a sister," said one pretty sdamsel, hesitatingly. / "But \ promised to be sister to at least dozen of these boys. Am eligible?
 q suppose. so, miss. Here's your badge. Let conscience be your guide" Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
The Difference.

She was a very society bred spin ster of fifty odd years and she was reproving her nineteen-year-old niece for not showing any more interest in society than she did. In ending her argument, she said: "Why, my dear, when I was your age was the belle of seven counties"
 The niece was provoked. That may be so, auntie," she admitted dryly, 'hut I see that no young man took the trouble to ring the belle"
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Certain Difficulties.

Here's a letter from your school sweetheart asking you to come back to the old home town and marry her," said the secretary.
 "Tell her." said MT. Henpeck, as he glanced at the picture of his iron-jawed wife and her numerous relatives, "that much as I would like to accept her kind invitation, circumstances over which I have no control prevent my doing so, for the present, at least"
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
International.

Two Tommies went into a restau~ rant on the eastern front and said to the waiter: "We want Turkey and Greece"
 Sorry" the waiter replied, "but we can't Servia"
 "Well, then, get the Bosphorus.'
 The boss came in and heard their order. Then he said, 'I don't want to Russia, but you can't Rumania."
 So the two Tommies went away Hungary.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Too Younq to Decide.

Gertrude (aged fOur) was asked by a visitor what nationalit" she was.
 "Tm English same as my papa is." was her reply, but my mamma is Frenchman."
 And what is your baby brother?" asked the visitor.
 Don't know" said Gertrude, ''he ain't big enough to talk yet"
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
They Also Serve Who Cook

They Also Serve Who Cook. '"There are all kinds of war heroes" '"True enough"
 'I just met one who should have been decorated"
 What for?"
 "He holds the army record for flip ping fapjacks.' s.''-Birmingham Age Herald.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Minute Men,

The Minute Men were a class of citi- zens pledged to take the field at min ute's notice. They were first known during and immediately previous to the War of the Revolution and after ward at the beginning of the Civil war. Sometimes they were regularly en- rolled as militia.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
The cuticura ToIIet TrIo

Having cleared your skin keep it clear by making Cuticura your everyday toilet preparations. The soap to cleanse and purify, the Ointment to soothe and heal, the Talcum to powder and per fume.- No toilet table is complete without them. 25c everywhere.-Adv.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Not a Question of Arithm etic.

Teacher-Now, Willie, if Johnny Stone Ga classmate) should tell you that he killed three rabbits yesterday and five the day before. how many rabbits would he have killed in both days?
 Willie-Oh, about one or two.
 Teacher-One or two? Why, Will lie, three and five make eight.
 Willie-Yes'm but I know Johnny's habis.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Takinu Heed,

"You do not seem to take any great pride in your oratorical ability"
 q have seen narrowing instances" replied Senator Sorghum, "of mans taking so much interest in his oratory that he forgot to watch the people who were attending to plain, prac~ tical politics.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Ein Tails In Curl Paners

Little Ruth was visiting in the coun- try and saw some little pigs for the first time. What attracted her atten- tion most was the twist in their tails, and after looking at them quite a while she asked:
 Say, grandpa, does the piggies' mamma put their tails up in curl pa pers every night?'
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
An Economic PerpIexitv.

Perhaps your hired man quit be- cause you didn't pay him enough" "No," replied Farmer Corntossel, that can't be it. The reason he won't work Just now is that he wants time to spend the money he made last week."
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
CoIlectinl1 That LiMinn

The world owes living to every man who feels that he owes the world for his living. It is a sort of exchange in which the world deals as fairly as 1t is dealt by.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Artificial.
NTLTHCIaIs "A pretty thing, fOrSOOth."

"A pretty thing, fOrsooth."
 What have you there?"
 "A sonnet addressed by my friend ScribsOn, to a lady's eyebrow"
 "It ought to please the lady"
 "I don't know about that. Scribson treats the subject as work of art and not a masterpiece of nature. ."-Bir. mlngham Age-Herald.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
His Firm Belief.

''How was the show at the town hall last night? No admission asked, be lfeve?'
 "It was wuth it." answered the sage of nkville.-Louisville Courier Jour nal.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Rabidlv for a Woman.

Howell-Your wife is aging rapidly. Powell-That's so. She was twenty five when married her ten years ago and now she admits being twenty seven.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Happy Endinq.

ing?"
 Comparatively so. All money was refunded after the second act."-An~ swers.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Didn't Recall the AskInu.

Mrs. Benham-Do you remember the day you asked me to be your wife?-
 Benham-I remember the day you said you would.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Buy a Farm \

Because land ts cheaper tha ever be again. The U. s. Railroad ration is prepared to furnish free tl ton to homeseekers regarding farmin ortuni- ties. We have nothing to sell: N 6ney to lend: only information to give. kite me fully with reference to your needX Name the state you want to learn about. J. l.. Edwards, Manager, Agricultural Section, U. 6. Railroad Administration Room 70. Washington. D. C.-adv.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
ExpIaininO It

''What a reptilian expression that man has!" Probably got it from seeing snakes"
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Clean Thinps.

Only those who make clean money and do clean things win success.-Rob- ert Collyer.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

Scotiand's Water Power. It is estimated that 100000 horse power could be obtained from Scot lands waterfalls.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

A young man who was fired with love says he thinks it was the girls father who acted as fireman.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

A cure in time knocks the undertak- CT out of dime.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

Men are born robbers. Every time a man marries he robs a woman of her name.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
act and Law. .

"Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty or not guilty?' Faith and phwat are yez there fur if not to find out?"
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

The good the average man does may be inferred with the bones without overcrowding the caSket.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

A true philosopher never argues. He mentally concludes his opponent is @ fool, and lets it go at that.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28
Bow M MateriaI,

What we like is apt to become a part of us. What kind of boy mate rial are your tastes putting into you7
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

Argentina will have for export this year over three and a half meter tons of corn.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

your typewriter always specify wheth- CT 1t is for "her" or for "it.'
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

Once in while we find a man so lucky that he is able to ride his hobby to success.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

Hot cakes and caterpillars make the butterfly.
The Connecticut labor press., 1919-06-28

fofV fres ing are coi Don't gep4 Sold by dealers
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
Centenary Church Drive Is
Now Under Way at MataWan

BY Special Correspondent.
MATAWAN, May FL The Centen-
nary drive. which is being carried on
by the Methodist churches to supply
monep for work in the countries af-
fected by the war, is on in full blast
in the First Methodist church here,
During the next five years this church
has to raise $1,000 of which S1,400 IS
raised yearly.
Captains and teams have been ar
ranged to the members and
each n is supplied with a card upon
which they are requested to subscribe
an moun which is payable to the
treasurer of the church weekly. This
money is used not only to establish
schools in foreign countries. which
have been freed by the great war, but
for the various benevolences and home
and foreign missions as well as church
extension. The work of visitig the
congregation, and getting the pledges
signed is going o rapidly ad it is re-
ported that the teams are meeting
with good results.
A meeting of the workers will be
held in the lecture room of the church
tonight at which time reports will be
received and plans made for the con-
tinuation of the drive for the rest OF
the week, when it comes to a closes
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
METUCHEN

J. Lester Ditchie, Albert Mundy. Ar
thur Drake and Jimmie Breen of the
18th Division have returned from
France, and many other boys are ex-
pected this week.
william Mckenzie has been made
End Lieutenant and is stationed at st.
Afghan where he will probably re-
main until the first OF the year.
The Delicatessen Sale held in the
parlors of the Methodist church Sat-
urday afternoon, returned a good pro-
fit
Mrs. Fred Sorter is visiting relatives
in New York State.
Elliot Corbin of the nth Division,
visited his sister Mrs. Burr. last week.
The Quiet Hour Club will hold an
ertra meeting Thursday afternoon al
the home, of its president Mrs. Coerr.
NJ. De Witt Price was presented
with a handsome leather belt and
silver buckle, by the members of Miss
Cropsy's Dancing Glass. for his kline
services in helping out with the mu-
sic.
Mrs. Richard johnson underwent ar
operation at st. Peters Hospital II
New Brunswick last week, and Is now
convalescing.
Mr.. and Mrs. Arthur Strong are oc.
cupying their cottage on Woodbridge
avenue for the summe months.
The Presbyterian Banquet will b'
held in the church parlors Friday eve
ming, a delectable MENU. has been ar
ranged. The Brotherhood held al
interesting meeting Monday evening
when the Rev. George Humphrie
gave a talk on Welfare Work.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
SOUTH AMB0Y


A number of local people are In
Hoboken today a~nxiously awaiting
the arrival of the ship bearing the
311th infantry to these shores. Over
fifty per cent. of the Amboy boys who
have been in service are serving with
that regiment.
There will be a meeting of the
welcome Home" committee in the
mayors office of the City Hall on
every committeeman is urged at this
meeting as definite action will be
taken on plans for the celebration.
Harry Stonaker, a member of the
29th division who returned to this
country a casual and is now stationed
at the Grand Central Hospital in New
York City, was a local visitor yester-
day.
william 'Dissy' Disbrow, one of
the popular young men of this city
who went "over there to aid in the
argument between Uncle Sam and
Kaiser Bill and was recently sent
back to this country to a base hospi-
tai at Camp Dix, has been discharged.
The Raritan River Railroad Com
pany has about completed the laying
of a siding to property owned by Paul
Brylinski, who proposes to build a
feed and cement business in this city.
Permission to cross the dead n or
Center street with the track was
granted some time ago at q meeting
of the council.
Dr.. e. f. Higgins. OF Arlington was
a local visitor on Tuesday.
A special effort is being made in the
local schools to aid the sale OF war
Savings Stamps. The school children
are the biggest purchasers in south
Amboy.
Miss Elsie Fothergil, Of Perth AM
boy, was a local visitor last evening.
city Engineer A. r. McMichaels was
a Perth Amboy visitor on business
yesterday Morning.
William Donnell, of this city. was u
Perth Amboy visitor yesterday after
o
were slow In accepting modern i'm
provements was badly mistaken. Yes
terday afternoon the first tribe to pass
trough this city In some time were
confeyed not ON horses nor on wag-
ons. but in the good old everyday
"fivvers." There were at least SIX
cars in the train. A short stop was
made in his city to get gas and pur-
chase some other supplies.
Michael Cannon spent yesterday
afternoon visiting with friends In
Perth Amboy.
Mrs. Nicholas Howley. of this city.
was a Perth Amboy visitor on Tues
day afternoon.
Miss May Timmins was a Perth
Amboy visitor on Tuesday afternoon.
In order to raise sufficient money to
purchase new chairs for st. Mary's
hall the children of the school are
conducting an active campaign, SELL
ing shares for candy.
Mail Carrier William Ryan Is at the
present time enjoying his annua two
.--t. x,oooftnn Turing his Absence
the deliveries are made by Edward
Gallagher, one of the extra" clerks
Now that the government is sending
| out the checks for damages done dur
ing the Morgan explosion the people
of this city are awarding contracts
| for repairs to thier homes. Every
| contractor in the city is loaded with
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
KEYFOHT

On Sunday evening, June Sth, Bish-
Cd Paul Mathews will be present at
st. Mary's Episcopal hurch to con-
firm a large class. which is now re-
ceiving confirmation Instruction.
Miss Lydia Eidredge. of Asbury
Park, was the guest of friends In the
borough on Sunday.
Miss Florence Huylar. of First street
visited her cousin. Mrs. Frank Post,
at Jersey City this week.
Mrs. NJ. Lester Terry, of Myrtle ave-
nue., is the guest of her daughter,
Mrs. Howard Ryer. of F~1atbush.
Miss Elsie Morris, of Brooklyn, was
the guest of her mother, Mrs. Fannie
Morris, of Front street on Sunday.
Mrs. Russell Sherrane, of High
Bridge, N. Y, is the guest of her Sis
ter, Mrs. Fred L. Schildknecht, OF
Church street.
Mrs. Arthur Van Schoick, of Asbury
Park is the guest of her sister, Mrs,
Fl. Lewis Hutchinson, of Osborn
street.
The next meeting of the Keyport
Literary Club will be held at the pub
lie library on Friday afternoon, June
9th. Mrs. John 4. Wyckoff will be
the hostess with the club officers In
charge, owing to illness of Mr.. Wyck-
off. A short story contest VIII be the
feature of the afternoon, all members
being asked to compete .
Mr.. and Mrs. K. deb. Newman, OF
Fair Haven, were the guests or frienq
In the borough on Monday.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
ROOSEVELT

Maurice Gerber n William Hen
ner, both having done overseas serv-
ice for the past year., are again In
camp in the United States and soon
to be mustered out of army and navy
service.
James Mullan was a Newark visitor
yesterday.
Andrew Sprague, of South Amboy,
spent Sunday in the borough.
Miss Althea Danilson spent the
weekend in Asbury Park.
James Wisely spent yesterday az
ternoon in Newark.
John Teats was a Newark visitor
yesterday.
Alfred Bonner returned home after
q year of absence. having served In
France.
Aside from the Monday services in
ST. Joseph's church Bishop Walsh
confirmed classes in st. Elizabeth X
C. church, of which Rev. Father
Szabo is pastor; also in h Holy
| Family church on Bryant street, Rev
| Father Dzeadosz being pastor, and st
| Mary's of Fitch street, pastor, Rev
| Father Horvath. All churches were
crowded to their full capacity.
| , Corporal Joseph Young returned
| homo Sunday for a short visit will
| his parents. He has seen more thar
a year of service in France.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
OLD BRIDGE

Those who were in Perth Amboy
Saturday were Mr.. and Mrs. William
Hoiienback, Mr.. and Mrs. George
Rusher. Misses Marie Myers. Rose
Brendel, Mamie Albecker. Rose Al
becker.
Miss Ruth Clemens. of Helmetta,
visited Miss Elva Appleby over the
week end.
Mr.. and Mrs. William Gordon, oil
Trenton, spent the week end In town
Charles Becker, of New York, WIS.,
ited his family Sunday.
Miss Mildred Skasvan visited he
mother In New York over the wee;
end.
Mr.. and Mrs. Elston Hawke, OF
Princeton, were In town Sunday.
Miss Gertrude Ernst. of Perth Am
boy. spent the week end with Mr.. and
Mrs. John Squires.
Mr.. and Mrs. Nelson Jolly are liv-
ing over the Ice cream store.
A. w. A2pleby and family and Miss
Ruth Clemens, Of Helmetta, motored
to Camp Dix Sunday.
Thomas Wooten, ST.. superintendent
of the Baptist Sunday school is CIV
Ing the pieces out TO the scholars for
Chiidren's Day to be held In June.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
JAMESBURG

Mrs. Joseph B. Lane. OF Camden,
who recently sold her house at lower
Jamesburg, is in town closing out her
personal affairs and selling household
goods. Benjamin Goldstein has pur-
chased the property.
Lincoln Hayes and Fred Perrine
are the latest to purchase new cars,
MI. and Mrs. James ODER, of Cam
den, spent the weekend with Mr.,
and Mrs. Albert Rogers.
Announcement has been made that
the stork has left a baby girl at the
home of Mr.. and Mrs. John McVey. of
New Brunswick, formerly residents OF
this place. The child has been named
Thelma.
Eleven violators of the ordinance
forbidding the parking of cars about
town without lights will be given a
hearing before Recorder Frank Pow
nall within a few days at Borough
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
SOUTH AMbOY'S
BIC PROGRAM
G. A. r. and Welcome Home
Committee Cooperating for
Memorial Day
Bv speclal correspordsrt.

By Special Correspondent.
SOUTH AMBOY, May 21.-The ap-
preaching Memorial Day will be one
long to be remembered by both young
and old Of his city. The usual G.. A
X. program viii be carried out in de-
tail while several new features of day
\ celebration will be added by the Wei
\ come Home committee. AS usual the
I procession will leave the post head
quarters promptly at 3 o'clock on the
morning of Memorials Day and Will
make their way to Christ church
cemetery where the following pro-
gram will be observed:
Commander.
Band-"Nearer My God TO Thee
General order No. 11-Jeo j.
Coakley.
Officer of the Day.-Arron Stillwell.
Chaplain.-W. w. Dey.
Address-George w. Abel.
Gettysburg Address.-John A. Coan.
Salute to the Dead.
Band-"My Country IT'S of Thee.
Upon completing the above pro-
gram the line will be formed once
more and will head for 81. Mary's
Cemetery. In this cemetery not only
will the veterans of the Civi War be
honored in as much as the only vet
ran of the Army of the World War Is
buried here fitting exercises Will be
held over his grave. The program to
be rendered by the G. A. r. is:
Commander.
Band-"Nearer Ny God To Thee"
Prayer by Rev. II. c. Mitchell.
General Order No. 11.-Rev. George
w. McCombe.
Officer of the Day-Arron Stillwell.
Chaplain.-W. w. Dey.
Address by Rev. Lewis A. Hayes.
Gettysburg Address.-Rev. J. Aus
tin Allsup.
Salute the Dead.
Band.-"My Country IT'S of Thee"
Renedictfon.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
Funeral for Edward Osborn
BIZ Special Correspondent.

Bv Special Correspondent.
KEYPORT, May 21-Funeral SER
vices for the late Edward Osborn
were conducted at the home of his
sister. Mrs. Henry A. Young. of First
street, on Tuesday morning at eleven
o'clock, Rev. Benjamin Dagwell, rec
tor of st. Mary's Episcopal church,
officiating, lnterment being In Green
Grove cemetery under the direction OF
Undertaken Harvey s. Bedle.
The deceased has beer a life long
resident of the borough and died al
his home on Atlantic street. where he
resided with his brot-r, Byron Os-
borne. on Saturday morning after a
brief Illness. Besides the brother and
sister above mentioned there are no
other survivors.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
FRENEAU

Miss Florence Tice was a Perth
Amboy visitor Saturday.
Thomas j. Watts, of Jamesburg,
spent Saturday on the Monmouth
Farms.
Mrs. Frank Duncan, of Matawan,
was a Freneau visitor Thursday.
Miss Mae Thompson spent the
weekend as the guest of Miss Ger
trude Meagher.
( Mrs. d. A. Taylor was a Matawan
Visitor Saturday.
L MIR. and Mrs. Walter Brown, Jr..
Were Keyport visitors Saturday night.
4 Mrs. S. Price and daughter Evelyn
Spent Sunday in Newark.
Mrs. Herbert Eurlew was an out
of-town visitor Monday.
{ William Welstead and Allen Lock-
wood were New York visitors Sunday.
Mrs. Lester Henderson and daugh-
ter spent Saturday with her mother
in Red Bank.
MIR. and Mrs. John Lockwood spent
Sunday in Asbury Park.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
WOODBRIDGE

Martin Jaeger, who arrived from
France last Friday spent a brief fur
Tough with his father last night. Jae-
ger was seriously wounded, but is do
ing finely.
Mrs. c. r. Chase was an out of town
visitor Monday.
Mrs. j. II. Love and Miss Ruth
Love were Perth Amboy visitors
Monday.
Miss Marguerite Browne spent the
week end with her parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. /. A. Brown of Railway avenue,
The carnival of the senior class at
the high school Saturday night was
quite successful. About $50 was cleap-
ed toward the Washington trip. Last
hight the senior movies attracted a
large crowd and another substantial
addition was made to the fund.
Mrs. S. ID. sDemarest was a New
York visitor Yesterday.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
South Amboy war Camp
Activities for Soldiers

SOUTH AMBOY. May zI- smr
com munitv Service held last evening
Tonight will be "open house at tne
oanteen Of the War Camp Community
Service. on this occasion the men aIs
privileged to bring whom ever e.s :
Choose to spend a social hour IN ths
canteen. ...4v carvics
4, mattnS an eYort to have the men
returning from the army and nav
register. This viii give the city q
south Amboy a permanent record on
iust what her boys did dutng tns
creat world war and families OF tns
1eturning heroes should urge the men
70 sssien up"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
BETTER THAN CALOMEL
Thousands Have Discovered DR..
Edwards Olive Tablets are
a Harmless Substitute.

Dr.. Edwards Olive Tablets-the substi.
tute for calomel - are q mild but sure
laxative, and their effect on the liver Is
almost instantaneous. They are the result
Of d.. Edwards determination not to treat
liver and bowel complaints with calomel
His efforts to Danish it brought out these
little olive colored tablets.
These pleasant little tablets do the good
that calomel does, but have no bad after
effects. They don't injure the teeth like
ntrong liquids O. caicmeL. They take hold
Of the trouble and quickly correct it. Why
cure the liver at the expense Of the teeth
calomel sometimes plays havoc with the
gums. Sodo strong liquids. 1t IS best not
to take calomel, but to let DR.. Edwards
Olive Tablets take its place.
Nest headaches "dullness" and that
lazy feeling come from constipation and
: disordered liver. Take DR.. Edwards
Olive Tablets when you feel s?oggy" ana
fheavy.s Note how they clear clouded
brain and how they sperk up" the spirits
1Qc and 25c Z box Az druGEistAL
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
Many Enjoy KeypOrt Recital
BIZ SprcfnI Correspondent.

By Special Correspondent.
KEYPORT. May 21.-The recitals
given on Monday and Tuesday night
by Miss Ola Bidwell and her pupils
in music were both we'll rendered and
we'll attended. The recitals were given
In the High School auditorium and
standing room was at a premium both
evenings. The programs were oil
great interest. owing to the variety
presented. Miss Bidwell teaches var
ious instruments inc has a well bal
anced orchestra organized from her
pupils all of which tend to make the
programs different.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-21
Loses Money; Then Is SIashed
with Razor, is Negroes Claim
Ru Special correspondent

81 Spccfdf correspondent
KEYPORT. May 21.-The end of a
perfect day came all too sooD to Hen
ry Williams. Of Cliffwood. who's wife
when she found he had lost a con-
siderable amount OF money in crap
shooting, so Williams says. slashed his
leg with a razor to such In extent that
he was forced TO come to Keyport
Monday morning Il 2 o'clock to re-
ceive medical attention from DIR. w. b.
Allen.
Williams gave his pitiful tale to the
doctor who rendered the necessary aid
n he returned TO Clinwood by auto
mobile. Williams is reported to have
said that he spent the day in the
above n and was enjoying life
until his wife when she found he had
lost the money, lost her temper and
ashed him.