El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-07-05

@TT'S already surprising what people
will eat if they couldn't get any
thing else" Abe Potash commented
sue morning.
Not nearly so Surprising as what
they would drink in the same circum-
stances" Morris Perlmutter remarked
wen. I don't know Abe contin-
ued- Here IL stands in the news
papers where professor says tnar
Tor the Information OF the men which
would sooner eat grasshoppers as
starve, 1iawruss, they taste very much
ike shrimps II you know how snrimps
taste, which 1 am thankful 70 say
that 7 don't NaWruss, because 1 never
vel had the nerve 10 eat shrimps on
account Of them looking too mucn
like grasshoppers-
Making the Hair Grow.
That's nothing" Norris declared
IN Porto Rico. where they have had
prohibition now for some time al
ready, the authorities has Just found
out that the people has been drinking
so much hair tonic az ersatz-schnapps
Abe. that the insides Of the stomach OF
q Porto Iican looks like the outside
OF the president CT the new Polish
republic, Il you know what mean
Well If the prohibition law is go
ing to be enforced SO as to confiseats
the schnapps which is now being
stored away by the people who have
had an insurance actuary figure out
LLF4r expectancy 4l46 ~ QLlAAAG
a day for 13.31416 years. MaWruss, OF
all the cellar viii hold. understand
Abe said, ct won't be much later than
July 10 before somebody discovers
that there's quite kick to furniture
polish or 6 in J. MaWrusS, and IN TACT
expect to see that there would be
what looks like stove polish, shoe
polish, automobile body polish ana
silver polish retailing at from one
dollar to a dollar and a half per hip
20 e-- h1++1n rrHfrh altar hn1nC (
strained through blotting paper, y'un- |
derstand. would net the purchaser
three drinks of the worst whisky that /
ever got sold on Chatham square Tor 1
five cents a glass.
Going After Furniture Polish.
'.And suppose that pretty soon
they viii be passing law 1orDtdolnE 1
the manufacturers OF stove polish and 4
directing that the labels on the pottles /
shall contain the statement. Stove 4
Polish. by Eolume . 49, and IN 4
fhimbleful OF what amt stove polish
in that stove polish. Abe. there 4
wouldn't be no more harm than Two
or three quarts Of so much nitrOgly-
cerine, understand" Morris said i
Also on Saturday nights. you win
see the poor women neoich hanging
around the swinging doors OF paint
and color stores right ID TO closing
time 10 see If their husbands is in
side. while the single men VIII stagger
from rouse furnishing store TO house
furnishing stOre-or the poor men s
clubs. as they call them places where
stove and silver polish Is sold"
But joking to one side MaTrUss,
vou don't suppose thai the PolakS
and the Huns and ali them foreigners
Is going TO leave of drinking
sehn2pps lust because OF a iitsle thing
Ike a prohibition amendment to the
constitution Of the United states DO
you2" Abe said.
To quiet the Cravine.
why do you limit yourself TO Po-
1aizs and Huns. Abe Norris asked
Believe me. there is fellers whose
forefathers was old esta blished Amer
Jean citizens before Henry Clay start
ed his cigar business, understand
end when them boys gets a craving
The nearest Carnegie library and read
orer the prohibition amendment 70
The constitution till that gnawirE
feeling a. the Dit OF the stomach had
Abe. that IS what think IS going TO
happen. and from the number OF peo-
pie which IS giving out prophecies TO
he newspapers about what Is going
70 happen, ana from the WaS they
differ from each ether as TO what IS
going 10 happen. not only about pro-
but about conditions IN En-
rope. the next war. the -Saiser's H.
ure and the next presidential cam
1aiEn. understand. It seems to me
that anybody could prophecy any
thing about everything and get away
with #" s
'aThey could anyhow get away with
Il tin it does happen" Abe COM .
The Prophets.
sure I know. but generally 7 don't
happen" Morris said. Take for IN {
stance where alr. Yanderlip is going {
-ound telling about the terrible things 5
which IS going 10 happen IN Europe :
1uiess something which 1fr. Nanderlip I
suggests Is done and take also. for
Instance. where Er. Dawson IS going
-ourd telling about the terrible things J
which Is going TO happen in Europel
inless something which Mr. Dawson {
suggests is done understand. and
while I don't know nothing about Z
Europe. understand ne. know some
hing about Mr. Tanderlip. which IS {
hat he Just lost his Job as director
4 the war savings stamp campaign
Ind president OF TIE National City
lznk. and you know as wen as do. !
4 be. when a man has Just lost his Job !
hinEs are apt 20 look pretty black
= him. not only IN Europe. under
itand me. but in Asia. Africa and (
,u1erica. and sometimes Australia and I
Cew Zealand. also"
Wen. how about Mr.. Dzvisonzr q
Nothing Altogether Right. Il
wei. III ten you Morris said 7
7fr. Dawson is a banker and 7 am '
garment manufacture. r'under- t
itznd. and with ne it's like this; Con- !
iftions in the garment trade IS meyer !