The Topeka state journal., 1919-12-18
ON SECOND THOUGHT
An Apostrophe to "silcnt- Smith.
BY JAY e HOUSE.
tFrom Philadelphia Public Ledger.l


We have long wished to break and
tighten the prosaic task of conduct
ing a column by interjecting pos
trophc to silent" Smith. We havo
wished to stamp in indelible words
upon the public consciousness tho
brief story of his virtues and his re-
pressions. Opportunity lurking at
our elbow in the guise of duh day.
/ finally has vouchsafed US the favor.
We proceed, therefore. to erect, not
to "Silent's'' memory. but to his quail
| ties. a shaft of solid minion two-thirds
of a column. or less, in height we
express the hope that silent, when
he reads these few lines. as he IN
evita bly, will do. shall not cavil at the
tribute. 1t. is no mean memorial. Men
have been born, have grown to man
hood have built nests. perpetuated
their kind and haves gone to their
ieternal sleep to have the press dismiss
them in five lines of solid agate.
Speaking personally. which. by the
way, So phraseological indiscretfon
unauthorized and Objectionable III
| many ways, speaking personally We
cxpect no more than that. And the
only boon we crave in the connection
| is that the aforesaid five lines sheil
be 'leaded."
silent" Smith is the pudgy little
man who works on .he third chair In
for one brief invasion of the short
grass country he has been there
lit must be all of fifteen years. That
lis long time to beat continuous
trail to and from one barber shop As
a tonsoriaiist silent" has a certain
degree of skill. He shaves deftly and
with soothing touch which ap- p
proaches tonsorial necromancy. Ade-
llaide never liked his hair cuts. It was.
and Is. her contention that he lacks
savoir faire in imparting to the head
of a partially bald customer the IL
fusion of a hirsute growth. She dep
recated the pitiless publicity which his
shears invariably lent to a partially
denuded Uranium. But the criticism
seemed captious. No tonsorialist, no
matter what his skill. can bestow upon
a thiniy seeded poll the fiction of an
opulent growth of herbiage. 1t may
be added by way of further identifi-
cation of his type that "Silents" ac-
tivities are not entirely restricted to
the field of tonsorial endeavor. Morn
ings and evenings he hoes a back yard
garden or ministers to the wants OF
n limited poultry yard. 1t was in con-
nection with his poultry yard that the
one scandal besmirching his name had
it's conception. The Christmas hoii-
days one year found silent in pos
session of two fat geese. Seized and
possessed of the speculative instinct.
Silent framed q scheme to rattle
them off to his customers and friends.
The numbers were duly sold and the
drawing took place. One of his
brothers-fn-l law drew one of the geese
another brother-in-law the other.
There was some talk about It. One
: of those whose speculation had, been
unfortunate boldly expressed the
. opinion that had Silent put up three
, geese. his son-in-law would have won
the third. Having had no interest in
to n1I. uIa-
the incident. It was a coincidence.
But as an impartial biographer we feel
r that some reference to It must be
made.
Having catalogued such of the triv-
ial data pertaining to silent" Smith
= as occur to us, we now come to the dis
tinction that marks the man. 1t is
that his chair is the one spot where a
: man wooing silence and freedom from
. mental travail can find it. 1t is
silent" Smiths conception of his Job
. that he Is there to do his customers
= bidding. His theory is that entertain
ing. amusing and eniightening Is not a
part OF it The customer who gets
into'Silent's'' chair is greeted with no
bromide 'patter.' He is not "dogged"
into answering questions in which he
has no interest. There are no ques-
tions. No fictitious cordiality is evolv-
ed from a fawning spirit to make the
customer feel at home. And yet
Silent can talk and talk we'll His
is an intelligence much above the ordi-
nary that finds its expression in Ian
E guage that is pungent, clear and sim
pie. He knows the mental range and
I needs of the ba asber-shop patron. He
is familiar with all of the topics of
t conversation current in that great
n open forum of opinion and discussion.
the American barber shop. He knows
politics, baseball, fishing, pugilism and
the motion picture drama with a
knowledge that approaches expertness
and has snattering of golf. But he
never vouchsafes an observation nor
obtrudes an opinion. II a customer
wishes conversation with his massag ge
: or his hair cut, SILENT oblfges. II he
delights in controversy or argument,
Silent gladly accommodates him. He
| swings a vicious argumentative right.
But the pleasure of the customer is his
concept of his obligation and his duty,
and he abides by it.
1t is unlikely that SILENT Smith
ever sold bottle OF hair tonic without
first warning his customer that soap
and water would do just well. And
yet possessed, as he Is. Of luxuriant
growth of hair. he might have made a
small fortune acting as publicity agent
of a hair renewer. There are in
Silent" Smiths chair no unseemly
| brawls based on the assumption that
the customer should have a massage.
There is no half teering intination
that the patron could do with a hair
cut. no innuendo to the effect that his
hair needs washing and his nails at
| tention. silent" does not annoy HIS
patron by pressing his wares, nor re-
fleet upon his intelligence by disclos-
ing the goods in his display window
He goes along on the assumption that
man smart enough to make his way
into barber shop unattended is suf-
ficiently gifted of speech to ask for
what he wants. That type of unob-
trusive efficiency is so rare that We
have deemed ii worth while to rear to
1t shaft of solid rninion two-thirds