The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-02-20

full declares a prominent temperance
advocate. He may not cure anything,
but hanged il he will ever go hungry
in Emmett.
To be prepared for the future, the
| legislature should not overlook
measure providing for the capture and
hning Of aviators who carelessly drop
monkey wrenches and things in
mans back yard.
! A well meaning minister declares
/ that both Democrats and Republicans
ought to unite upon a platform Of
broad patriotism and christian civii-
zation. 1t ought 10 be that way, but
it can never be so long as the Re-
publicans remain unwilling for the
Democrats to administer the Offices.
. Q
Harold's mother was giving a party
She told the little fellow that when
ever he passed in front of anyone he
must say excuse mel" Harold made
many trips back and forth and got
tired Of repeating the same phrase
over and over, so he finally said
ladies and gentlemen, please excuse
me for the whole evening
& q
A couple Of small boys were enjoy
;n,, a c,,nn,, Couth Gi,, - 4. ,.,o,,;o l
show when the orchestra struck up
Dixie" One of the boys rose TO his
feet. "Sit down. said the other.
THAT amt the Star Spangled Ban
ner" at sure is where | come FROM"
said the one who was standing, and
he remained standing until the piece
was finished.
A justice Of the peace in a small
town was very unfair in his rulings |
against defendant. The defendants
attorney demonstrated bitterly. "Your
honor" said the attorney, "don't you
ever give a defendant any considera-
tion?" 81 do not" screamed the
Judge "What in thunder does this
court owe defendants? Defendants
never bring any business to this court
This court knows it's friends, believe
muh"
Time was when all we had to worry
our nerves was in the summer time
when Harry Shropshire is accustomed
to go around with nothing but a belt
to hold up his pantaloons. Since at
tending the Shriner's ball we have
had another Jar in the gala toys the
women wear To place so much re-
sponsibility upon two delicate-looking
straps is certainly nerve racking to a
man who has, never taken any lessons
in first aid and wouldn't know what to
do in an emergency.
A returned stoldier relates thu fol
lowing story: A negro soldier APP
preached Major Walton, of the medi-
cal corps, attached to one of the base
hospitals and demanded: "Boss, how
does you all do yoh cookin' in than ?"
We'll, SAM replied the major. 1--WE
have all of the new tangled equip
nent here. It's quite different from
he field hospitals. The fact is, we
10 our cooking by electricity" "By
lectricity, huh," retorted the dusky
ioughboy "Majah, | begs yo' par
lon, sub, but yo' sho' ought to hab
,iven dem beans another shock"
One night at one of the rest camps
Jack of the line a discussion arose
mong the soldiers as to what smelled
he worst around an army camp. One
.roup of soldiers insisted that the
oats which followed the army, smell
d the worst. Another group insisted
hat Turkish soldiers had the goat
acked off the map in that respect.
wager was laid and the contest was
n. Three men were selected as
Judges. They were blindfolded and
ook seats in room, not well venti-
tied. goat was led in first. The
hree judges tainted. Then Turkish
older was led in and the goat tainted.
q q q
Oh yes, it is perfectly easy for any
'oman to learn to cook. All In the
'orld you need is the fright spirit"
nd stove and cook book and a
ungalow apron. And--the genius of
Newton, the science of Savarin,
ne patience of a Griselda, the agility
Charlie Chaplin, the judgment of
olomon, the skill of Ariel, the mag
nation of Jules Verne, the persistence
Delilah, the versatility of Mrs
iske, the sure aim of Christy Mat
iewson, the GOODNESS and composure
Central the calm decision of Ha-
,an-aL Raschid. the thumbs of a