Evening journal., 1919-01-28
ORIGINAL "lRON
MAN IS FOR WAR
Neauderthal, Patriarch OF
Killers, Sneers at League
of Nations
BEMOANS ATTEMPT
To BRING PEACE
By JACK JUNGMEYER.
N. E. A. stan Correspondent

IN. 2. A. Stan Correspondent
have just interviewed the worlds
Oldest and most famous blood-and-
iron champion. Homo Neanderthal, on
the league OF nations plan.
what do you think OF it2" asked
from a discreet distance.
"Old stuff" he chuckled derisively
toying with the jawbone Of a prehls-
toric ass. "Older than the whlskers OF
Cain. | thought the idea Of universal
peace had been buried In the quater-
nary zoo"
The Neanderthal Man. as you know
comes from one OF the FIRST families.
Buried under the detritus OF half a mil
lion years, he had been regarded as
more or less Of a dead one. Scientists,
however. yanked his remains out into
the light Of day, and now for the first
time In 10000 years he was consentins
TO speak for publication.
MY views" he resumed, should be
well known. I've always believed In
the big club. I'm for power politics,
though we didn't call Il that In my
day. I'm congenienitally against peace.
"Peace"-cracking a marrow bone
"is so stupid. Only the weak want II.
The strong have never permitted H..
Herod. Nego, Bismarck. the Kaiser. all
glorious sons Of mlne-Ah. how they
have kept my red blood stirred and
heightened my yearsw
He sucked greedily at his marrow
shank while wrote.
This leagle Of nations talk makes
me laugh" he doomed gutteraly. Some
OF our Impractical theorists OF the
paleolithic age wanted to try II out.
Visionary fellows, who wished TO cur
tail our ancient rights Of murder. may
hem snd wlfe-stealing.
"As ! recall, II was old See Far.
neighbor Of mine, who proposed II. He
thought Hank Red Eye shouldn't have
all the dinosaur tenderloins Just be-
cause he was big. We practical fellows
never approved. Instead, we laid for
old Hank and bumped him OF.
He even went so far as 10 suggest
that instead Of raiding the tree folks
crab-apple orchard or robbing the ape
mems nut bins, we ought 10 be moro
industrious ourselves. That we ought
70 talk things over with EN-, shake
hands, call II quits and all live In sweet
accord the rest OF our days. Bah
Il understand" continued Neander-
thai, that See Far's notion did sort OF
catch on after time, and that families
banded themselves into tribes and
tribes into nations, and that they set
tied their differences by word Of mouth,
starving or torturing or imprisoning
the bacqsliders instead OF knocking 'em
cold with a club. I've been out OF
touch with things for the past half mil
lion years, as you might say. Isn't that
what happened7"
YES" | said, that's about t."
"Too blooming bad" with a wag OF
his shaggy pate. I'm saddened TO know
that the world has become so decadent.
Where are all my sons; where my
teachings? To think that the soft talk
ers should have been permitted 10 go
far by the hard hittersl
81 tell you, young man." he roared,
"The world lives by the stealthy leap,
the letting Of blood and the fat Of a
cracked femur. Why even my high |
brow successor, Bernhard, the Hun, |
recognizes that in his philosophy OF
war.
THE world wants 20 live too soft, !
too secure. Soon therell be no Ihcen-
tive left, no personal or national lib |
erty. I'd hate 10 see the day when q |
man can't even beat his wife or tear |
up a scrap OF paper without being |
hissed from the gallery, II you get |
what ] meanm
The day seems about here" volun-
teered timidly.
For a moment the water Of sadness
seeped from his eyes. But he rallied |
quickly.
81 refused to believe IT," he coun-
tered. Il had expected 10 see the cult |
OF killing fully restored by this great
war. as you call It. But am not with