davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-06-29
Around the CITY.

A MAN coughed. Another man on
the car said to the woman with
him:
THAT poor chap has a close date
with the graveyard. l agree with
lngersoll-that health should be
catching instead of disease"
The woman didn't in the least look
like one who feels called on to run
the universe. but-you never can tell:
That's all you know about it.
Overpopulation caused by unanimous
health would have left SO little room
for food growing that the world
would have been starved out before
you and l got chance to be born.
No. sir! II I had to run the world
] could make better bluff at it than
that. anyhow"
Then she stopped to laugh at her
own foolishness. and while she was
about it the man helped out with
another laugh, in which chumminess
was streaked with derision. And the
derision put the woman on her mettle.
Il could so! Mind. I'm fully con-
WINGED that this world Is better than
ii l had made it myself. but all the
same-say. you take the present sys-
TEN: So much time for unrealizing
childhood. SO little time for youth
and the vigorous mentality of middle
years and so much more than the
two times put together for old age
crawling on to senility and death.
Now then
III I had been in Natures place, I
should have fixed 1t this way: All
the babies should be, say, eighty
years old to begin with. Then they
would grow younger every day until
they died at last of cholera fnfantum.
My plan would eliminate the loneli-
ness of old age and the fear of death
and give to men and women long
lifetimes Of glorious. ever-growing
strength and happiness. But I'm not
considering a patent
While the two chuckled over her
nonsense the woman turned suddenly
serious.
The man across the aisle had
coughed again.
e! reckon Nature knows her own
business best. Maybe we need the
loneliness and the fear to try us out
for something better to come" and
the man with her said:
81 reckon"
X 4
A MAP of Latin America done in
eolored pencils was futtering
over a car-stop platform the other
day. A woman picked 1t up and
brought 1t to this small twinkle Of
the big. shining Star.
She said she is so proud Of a map
made by her own youngster that she
thought it would be nice IL the twin
kle was to try and return 1t to the
schoolboy artist whose name was
signed to the work, so that his folks
could save II away. Aren't mothers
the sweetest, curiousest things?
So. Louis Dove. honey. IL you want
your map you know where to come.
=. Sand here's another find:
white silk handkerchief with an en-
broidered symbol in the corner
sword and key crossed over a wheel
and topped by wide-winged eagle.
II Is 80 twinkle to another handker-
chief that q Yank sent to his mother
from France that, though this isn't
'xactly n lost -and-found column.
name the color Of the border ana
the handk erchief 10 yours.
MAMIE LANCASTER.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-06-29
I'D you ever hear tell of a song
called Pop Goes the Weasel?"
The reason for asking is be-

The reason for asking is be-
cause here's the chorus of it
done into a human reel:
Two vampy looking young women
were trying on hats. Another woman
Of the dub type sat on a stool and
watched them.
Becomes me, doesn't it?" The one
who asked was looking at herself in
triple mirror that showed every
vantage point of violet tam all
bound around with a lemon plume
bones is a whole lot to pay out Of my
salary, but it takes money to dress
we'll these days"
Don't forget that dentist bill! You
know how you have been worrying
over it,"
The warning came from the dub.
You certainly are one damp blank
ct. Nance"
We'll. you told me to remind you of
it If ] saw you throwing your money
away"
But l don't consider it throwing
money away for stylish thing like
this. 1 suppose I ought to get some
thing more durable. but
"Oh, buy what you want! 1t will be
all the same q hundred years from
now"
This cheerful philosophy was admin
istered by the woman who was ad-
miring the back of her head, via a
hand glass, topped of with a shape
that is called overseas. a military in
spiration exactly like soldiers never
wore and never will.
That's what I say, too, Mrie. Looks
as if it was made for me, doesn't it?
But l can't get 1t. Of course, because
I've only got SIS to my name. Wish
I hadn't blown myself to those white
how in hot weather like this. Say
Mrie, lend me v till pay day"
Il like your nerve! If get this I'll
have to go on tick. myself. You've got
money. Nance. Lend her some.''
That's bully good idea, Nance!
Lend me v. I'll pay you Monday
honor -connor-"
Inc uuD mad no money with her. She
was afraid to carry more than she
needed for carfare and lunch until she
had finished up her victory bond-s
but she could let her have 1t In tho
morning.
II suppose that will have to do. l
can pay the fifteen down-and. say
Nance. why don't you get yourself a
new hat. You can't wear that shabby
thing all summer"
1t wasn't a shabby hat, at all. 1t
was nice black straw with rosettes
Of yellow straw. The dub ought to
know; she made it herself. It's a
shame for people to hurt other peo-
pies feelings like that, especially
when you know what bonds cost, and
M'rie said as much:
DO let her hat be! It's all right
Nance. / wouldn't spend my good
money on this except that it's 30 per-
fectly stunning 1 can't help myself.
Don't forget my two dollars, Hon"
And that's the way the money s,-s
iVp gees the weasel.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
LIFE OF DOG IN BELGIUM
Does Not Loaf as They Do in America,
but Is Put to Pulling
Carts.

The expression, "a dogs life" must
have originated in this part of Eu-
rope. In Belgium and Holland the
dogs do not loaf about as they do in
america. In Holland | saw one dog
pulling a cart in which three men
were sitting, and ON the roads we
passed many dogs pulling carts, writes
Belgian correspondent in the Kan
sas City Star. Even more dogs are
used to pull carts in Belgium. as the
Germans left very few horses in this
country. To judge by appearances,
virtually all the husky able-bodied
dogs in Belgium are broke to har-
ness" But the roads are good and
the carts not heavy, usually, and the
dogs seem to like it. The drivers were
holding back rather than driving many
of the dogs we passed, and in one viii
lage we saw dog bark and beg to be
hitched up when a woman started out
on a short trip with push cart.
When she yielded and hitched up the
dog we saw why she had hesitated.
The dog was big, strong fellow, and
so eager to pull that she had hard
time holding him back.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
MONKEY BRIDGES ARE MYTH
Famous Scientist Attempts to Explain
the Origin of the
Story.

From our school Biographies we
nsed to learn that South American
monkeys cross alligator-infested
streams by linking their tails and legs
to form a living bridge. In school
READERS" published as late as 1897
there are pictures of this extraordi-
nary feat of monkey acrobatics. Prof.
L. w. Gudger, in an article quoted by
the Scientific American, attempts 10
explain the origin of this story. but
is not believed by any recent explor-
ers.
so far as it can be traced it was
first told by Padre Jose Acosta in
1893. The first person TO dispute its
veracity was Baron Humboldt. Final
ly Messrs. Leo E. Miller and George
X. Cherrie of the American Museum
of Natural History, who have done
SO much travelling and collecting in
South America. suggest to Professor
Gudger that the story of the monkey
Bridge has come about through OBJ
servation of a procession of monkeys
crossing ravine or stream on a pen
dant Llama.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
SWATMAN, SPARE THAT FLY!
Swat Not a Single Wing; They Tell
Us TITS a Surplus Fly and
a Useful Little Thing.

Not all flies are enemies of man and
deserving of being hunted with the
swatter and trapped with fly paper. ac-
cording TO G. F. Fluke, entomologist at
the Wisconsin experiment station. The
surplus flies. commonly called sweet
bees" and "hover tlies." are the chief
enemies of plant lice. according TO Mr.
Fluke, and the latter would cause
enormous loss IL their numbers were
not kept down by the flies.
The surplus flies are marked with
black and yellow bands on the abdo-
men. but they neither sting nor bite.
The adult lays eggs among the colo
MES of plant lice, and when the larvae
hatch they feed upon the lice. But
for the flies. plant lice would destroy
large areas of fruit trees and field
crops, especially peas, Mr.. Fluke says,
and they should therefore be protect
ed. rather than killed.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
A ricklish Bit of TunneIlna.

A very interesting bit of tunneling
was recently done on the Fourteenth
street tube under the East river. New
York. The heading was being run in
rock and at one point test holes show
ed thickness of only eight inches
of sound dry rock above the line along
which the top of the tunnel was to
run. AS the tunnel was being driven
without the use of compressed air il
was decided to drop the upper head
ing four feet until this thin cover Of
rock was passed. The cast iron lining
was set u place at each side of this
section and the rock was removed
very carefully by using great many
holes. each loaded with about one
eighth of stick of dynamite. AS each
bit of rock was removed the arch of
the tunnel lining was set In place. BY
this means the dangerous section was
tunneled without breaking through
the thin shell.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
To Bridge the Golden Gate.

Steps for the realization of one of
the greatest projects ever contem-
plated in California-the Golden Gate
bridge-were taken at mass meet.
ing of citizens in San Rafael early in
August.
The surveys show that the bridge
could be constructed directly over the
Golden Gate from Fort Baker to Fort
Mason. The Gate has total width at
that point of $500 feet. and soundings
show rock formation in the center,
which would support the central span.
A San Francisco banker has offered
to finance the project with loan of
S10,000,000, the estimated cost. The
only condition is that the government
grant the hackers franchise and regu.
late the toll charges.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Nasty
Get instant relief with
"Pape's Cold Compound

Don't stay stuffed-up! Quit blowing
and snuffling! A dose of "Pape's Cold
Compound" taken every two hours I'M
til three doses are taken usually breaks
mp cold and ends all grippe misery,
rho very first dose opens your
elogged-up nostrils and the air pass
ages D. 'he head; stops nose running
relieves the headache, dullness, fever
ishness, sneezing, soreness and stiffness
"Pape's Cold Compound" is the
quickest surest relief known and costs
only few cents at drug stores. 1t acts
without assistance, Tastes nice. Con
tains no Quinine. Insist on Pape's! Ad
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
SAFE, GENTLE REMEDY
BRINGS SURE RELIEF

you need. Take three or four every day.
The healing oil soaks into the cells and
lining of the kidneys and drives out
surely follow. When your normal vigor
has been restored continue treatment
for while to keep yourself in eondi.
ton and prevent q return of the dis
ease.
Don't wait until you are incapable Of
| fighting. Start taking GOLD MEDAL
Harlem Oil Capsules today. Your
druggist viii cheerfully refund your
money if you are not satisfied with
results. But be sure to get the original
imported GOLD MEDAL and accept no
substitutes. In three sizes. Sealed
packages. At all drug stores.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
S. @. S.
If Constipated, Bilious
or Headachy, take
''Cascarets"

Sick headache. biliOusness, coated
tongue, or sour, gaSsy stomach-always
trace this TO torpid liver; delayed. fer
menting food in the bowels.
Poisonous matter clOgged in the In
testines, instead of being cast out of the
system is re-absorbed into the blood.
When this poison reaches the delicate
brain tissues IL causes congestion and
that dull, throbbing. sickenng head,
ache.
Cascarets Immediately cleanse the
stomach, remove the sour, undigested
Good and foul gases, take the excess
bile from the liver and carry out all
the constipated waste matter and poi
sons in the bowels.
A Cascaret tonight will surely
straighten you out by morning. They
work while you sleep.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
A Feeling Of Security

You naturally feel secure when you
know that the medicine you are about to
take is absolutely pure and contains no
harmful or habit producing drugs.
Such medicine is DIR. Kilmer's Swamp.
Root, kidney, liver and bladder remedy.
The same standard of purity. strength
and excellence is maintained in every
bottle Of Swamp Root.
1t is scientifically compounded from
vegetable herbs.
1t is not stimulant and in taken in
teaspoonful doses.
1t is not recommended for everything.
1t is natures great helper in relieving
and overcoming kidney, liver and blad-
der troubles.
A sworn statement of purity is with
every bottle of DIR. Kilmer's Swamp
Root.
II you need a medicine, you should
have the best. On sale at all drug stores
in bottles of two sizes. medium and large.
However, if you wish first to try this
great preparation send ten cents to DIR.
Kilmer & Co. Binghamton, N. Y, for q
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

For 200 years GOLD MEDAL Haar-
lem Oil has enabled suffering human
ity to withstand attacks of kidney,
liver, bladder and stomach troubles
and all diseases connected with the
urinary organs, and to build up and
restore to health organs weakened by
disease. These most important organs
must be watched, because they filter
and purify the blood; unless they do
their work you are doomed.
WEAKNESS, sleeplessness, nervous
ness, dependency, backache, stomach
trouble, pains in the loins and lower
abdomen, gravel, rheumatism, seiatica
and lumbago all warn you of trouble
with your kidneys. GOLD MEDAL
HARLEM Oil Capsules are the remedy
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

Everything in the dear old village
seemed the same TO Jones after his
absence for four years. The old
church, the village pump the ducks
on the green. the old men smoking.
while their wives gossip--it was so
restful after the rush and hustle OF
the city. Suddenly he missed some
thing.
"Where's Hodges windmill?" he
asked in surprise. Il can see only
one. mill and there used to be two"
The native gazed thoughtfully
around. as if to verify the statement
Then he said slowly:
''They pulled one down: there
weren't wind enough for two of en-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
GREEN'S AUGUST FLOWER.

Stop q minute and think what 1t
means TO say that Screens August
Flower has been a household remedy
all over the civilized world for more
than half century," No higher praise
is possible and no better remedy can
be found for constipation, intestinal
troubles. torpid liver and the depress-
ed feeling that accompanies such dis
orders. It is most valuable for in
digestion or nervous dyspepsia and
liver trouble. coming up of food, pal
pitatlon of heart, and many other
symptoms. A few doses of August
Flower win relieve you. II is a gentle
laxative. Ask your druggist. Sold In
all civilized countries ADV.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
At the Critical Moment.

was attending the theater with
some friends. The hero and heroine
had reached the critical moment. but.
as he held her In his arms. he hest
tated. AS the seconds licked on
with no further action, the suspense
grew too much for me, and | finally
shouted at the top of my lungs (as
II seemed to me laterl kiss her, you
boob !" Needless to say, did not en-
joy the last few moments of the per
Torrance.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
f.,,+leura comforts sabys Skin

When red, rough and itching with hot
baths Of Cuticura Soap and touches Of
Cuticura Ointment. Also make use
now and then Of that exquisitely scent
ed busting powder, Cuticura Talcum,
one Of the indispensable Cuticura
Toilet Trio.--Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

THAT writer has become Immensely
popular"
81 suppose he gets many requests to
write for various B1agazinesT'
$50 many that he has to use a
printed slip Of refusal. the kind he
says he got 30 many of during his
early struggles"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
No Kick Forthcoming.

whats become of BiDbles. who
used to say soft drinks were an insul,
to his stomach?"
"oh. hes stili about here: ! occa.
sinnaliy see him swallowing insults Of
thai kind. but. TO do him Justice, he
doesn't wear the look Of glad exec.
fancy he used to wear"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

The landlord had just dropped in
on Mrs. Flanagan and informed her
gently. but firmly. that he had decided
to raise her rent.
Its a darlint We are sir" replied
Mrs. Flanagan, enthusiastically. Il
wor wondern how ] cu'd rase it me.
silt '-Harper's Magazine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

He-Your consin refused to recog
nIze me At the jazz last night; thinks
I'm not his equal. ! suppose.
shp-E.dieulo'ls or course you are
why. he's nothing but a Connected
IDIOT. Brightly tLondon).
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Rather Skenficai.

Desc yere aviatahs CLAIMS dey kin
do bout everything a bird kim" OBJ
served Shinbone; but when 20 sees
one fas' asleep holdin' onto branch
with his feet, An sho wishes you'd
call me 70 hab a look"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
unouenchable.

Englishman lin the bay Of Naples.
watching Vesuvius)-You've nothing
like that in America
Yank-No. but we've got Niagara
Falls, and they'd put the darned thing
out In FIVE minutes
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Doesn't hurt q bit and Freezone
costs only q few cents.

With your fngersl You can lift of
any hard corn. soft corn, or corn be-
tween the toes. and the hard skin cal
fuses from bottom of feet.
A tiny bottle of "Freezone" costs
little at any drug store; apply few
drops upon the corn or callus. In
stantIy 1t stops hurting, then shortly
you lift that bothersome corn or callus
right of, root and all, without one bit
of pain or soreness. TRULY No hum
bug ADV.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
No Reason to Hurry.

~You are the only NAN 10 your com
pany. corporal Who hasn't Applied tor
decentralization papefs Why Is ~
SIN the only one as IS married. cir.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

Before the war cacaro was the chief
crop of the Dominican republic, being
displaced by sugar later.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Unkind.

Hes a man after my own heart
THAT'S giving yourself quite high
rating, isn't it?'
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Just Wait q Bit.

Mrs.-Pm out for tramp.
Mr.-It won't be necessary; one Is
sure to call for something TO eat.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

WATERFOWL When Fred Gruchow
died, his farm was left for sale to the
enc Of his three sons who bid the most
for the land, after the will had been
admitted to probate. The highest bid
was made by Herman, who offered
S1S6.50 per acre. Dissatisfied with the
result six daughters of the deceased
recently petitioned Judge Kirkland of
the probate court to set aside the de-
cision After hearing several wit
nesses. the judge refused to set aside
the terms of the will and ordered that
the deed to the land should be given
to Herman, who made the highest bid
for the property.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

The hen is liberal fowl; she gives
a peck when she takes grain.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

The Vigorous Outing.
Going TO take another vacationT
"Yes. The one / just got through
with has tired me fearfully."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22
Mo Low Shoes.

No Low Shoes.
II bought a pair of shoes today"
"High?"
'Extortionately."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-10-22

Burlington-Th supervisors of Ra-
cine county have ordered the building
next spring of concrete road connect
ing Racine and Burlington, and ex-
tending west through Burlington to
the Walworth county line II is
thought the road will be connected
with route 20, state highway, through
Lake Geneva to the Illinois line. This
will prove boon to Milwaukee and
Racine motorists who travel to and
from the lakes in this section
Madison Plans for the Memorial
Union building, to be erected at the
university as a tribute to its men and
women who served in the world war
are now well under ay. To carry on
the campaign for raising $750,000
through subscriptions by alumni. for
mer students, and friends, headquar-
ters have been opened in 900 Uni
versity building, Milwaukee, and A. l..
Sommers, Sheboygan, OF, has been APP
pointed manager.
Sheboygan-Mrs. Harry e. Thomas.
Sheboygan, was reelected president of
the state organization of Kings
Daughters at the annual convention at
| Sheboygan Falls. Mrs. f. c. Dunn,
Milton, was reelected vice-president;
| Miss Gertrude Reiss, Sheboygan, sec
rotary, and Mrs. W. c. Hanson, Ra-
cine, treasurer. The 1920 convention
will be held at Milton.
Marinette-Alma Edswick, maid en-
ployed at the Corwin home in Menomi-
nee, was badly burned. She heated
can of syrup on the stove, and while
trying to open it on the kitchen table.
the can exploded The hot syrup was
hurled into her face and onto her
head. 1t was feared that she would
lose her sight.
Madison - The university campus.
took on a warlike appearance when
the new field artillery equipment was
put into place for the training of stu
dents in military classes. The classes
in military work have not yet begun
outdoor drill. but have been learning
the fundamental formations in the
gymnasium.
Madison-Albert S. Romig, graduate
of the university in 1907 and former
Instructor in the steam and gas de-
partment of the college of engineer
ing. is dead at Boulder, Col, accord
ing to word received.
Oshkosh Directors of the Winnie
bago County Swine Breeders associa-
ton have made preliminary plans for
oi ganizing a large boys and girls pig
club. with me aim of raising only pure
bred ANNALS.
Green Bay-Nov IL has been named
as the date for special election to
decide the question of issuing bonds
for Green Bay. 1t is proposed to ex-
pend $45,750.
Eau Claire - Admitting he had
broken INTO box cars and stolen since
the age Of 5. Stanley SchiIling, now
10; Leroy Schilling. his l2year-old
brother, and Frank Harms. Is, were
brought from Augusta to the county
Jail here charged with rifiing box
cars.
Madison - Out of 1890 head Of
cattle tested between Jan. ] and Sept
/, 1919. in various parts Of Wisconsin.
a large part OF which has never before
been tested. only 3.74 per cent reacted
20 the tubercuiin test.