The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1919-10-30

uAvEVnAIH / ALA
ION CONVERSATION
In q short chapei talk last week
Father John Baker emphasized the
need Of higher grade of converse
ton than great many people are in
the habit of using.
II shall endeav6r to lay before you
for the short time allotted to me, a
few thoughts on conversation. Con-
versation, in any worthy sense of the
word. is the rarest thing in the world
and people who can judge, say that it
is becoming rarer very day. People
can talk and do talk, but few can be
said nowadays to converse. People
gossip, and enjoy gossip, but they are
perhaps the last people in the world
to believe that gossip is not converse
ton. How many people do you know
who say those wise and witty and pa
thetic and humorous things, that fas-
ten on the memory and cultivate the
mind? Why it should be, is hard to
say.
"To begin with, people are afraid Of
each other. It is strange what posi-
tive awe people seem to have of each
other. They look into each others eyes,
and yet their mutual estimate of the
thought that lies far behind the eye,
is based upon the merest guessWork.
Besides they are afraid of the topics
they handle. Under the most common
place topic they are afraid of some
lurking demon, that will leap out and
throttle the proprieties and conven-
tionalities. They handle topics gently,
as if afraid of hurting them.
II don't think it would be quite ju-
dicious to set oneself expressly to
study conversation as an art. Perhaps
it would be better to manage to have
something worth saying, and then the
art Of saying it might possibly be at
tanned unconsciously. Cultivation Of
how to say thing is liable to result
in epigrams which may be as spark
ling, bat may be, also as dangerous as
fireworks. Take my advice, do not
talk in epigrams, even if you have the
gift. There are unfortunately men,
who would lay lifelong friendship on
the altar Of an epigram and prefer
missing the Joy of good conscience
to missing the JOY of saying a clever
thing at the expense of charity, relig-
ion, decency, good feeling. They are
the free lances of society. But some
how, no one seems to think of making
bosom friends of them, and when they
get broken down, as in time they will,
their lot is lonely and loveless enough
Epigrams and truth are rarely so COM
mensurate. Truth has to become some
what cl1iseled, before it will fit into an
epigram. Don't be at too much pains
to chisel the rough truth. Neither
carry it about in your hand, ready to
fling it like stones at the first person
you meet. If you happen to have at
tached to you one of these tormentors,
known as "candid friends, you will
understand what l mean. Here is a
story of the candid friend: An old man
happened to fall into a very delicate
state of health. A much younger
friend, young enough to think that old
people who had in his opinion lived
their lives, ought to be anxious to seek
a better world, asked the old man how
he Jared. The reply was somewhat
Responding, whereupon the young man
clapped him on the shoulder and said:
Cheer up old man, why you will live
these three MONTHS If you meet one
of these rare takers as we find hint
of sometimes in books, but seldom
meet anywhere else, ask him who was
the best talker he ever met. You may
find the name he will give you to be
that of good listener. Good listen
ing connotes better intellectual ma
ture than the best talking; and the
vice of the age is perhaps not so much
the incapacity of talking we'll, but the
indispositon of listening patiently.
1--WE commonly resort to converse
ton for amusement. Few people want
argument, though there are pugna-
cious spirits, who will lie in wait for
some statement of yours, pounce upon
it, and force it to defend itself. If you
go in for an argument, take care of
your temper; your logic, if you have
any, will take care of itself. Some
men strike into conversation, as if
it were a free for all fight; neither do
they care whom they strike. Here
goes, say they we'll it should have
been an Irishman, but it wasn't-here
goes, and God give that I may be on
the right side
"The best thing, as it seems to me,
that you can bring into your CONVEX
sation, is what l will call easiness Of
mind. We know that it is the last re-
suit Of good breeding and fine culture.
It can't be simulated. The forgers of
it have never succeeded in getting the
right die. The man whose converse
ton is uneasy, pretentious, prompt to
show the extent of his knowledge, re-
minds me of one of these newly rich,
who are so fond of showing people
over their houses and grounds. They
have not had their wealth long enough,
but feel quite at ease in the posses
sion of it. They are richly gifted, but
if you apply to them the sHoratian
Thumbnail', you will find the base met
al underneath, and the metal is usually
brass. .- -
"A dash of egotism, if it is clever
egotism favors conversation wonder
fully. After all it is not so much what
a man thinks, you want to know, as
what he is. Take up volume from
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