davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1919-01-16

Why not subscribe for the Herald? I?
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1919-01-16

Mrs Chas Spencer was very ill
this week.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1919-01-16

Willis Whitelock was in town a
few hours Saturday trading.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1919-01-16
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:

ADVERTISING RATES:
Display. front page. col. inch Is
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Readers. per inch---- .25
Foreign advertising representative:
The American Press Assn. New York.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1919-01-16

Hugh Doris is i'll this week of the
influenza
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Fremen Of Engine Co.
No. 9Have Created Big
Garden Opposite Station

The tiremen at engine house No.
9, Twentieth and Spring streets, are
exemplars in thrift, and the best
evidence Of their industry is spsn-
did garden on tract of land across
from their fire station.
Firemen have more or less time
on their hands, and these fremen
believed that their leisure time
could be devoted to good advantage
by cultivating this vacant land. They
started during the early springtime
to clear the space of debris and then
they prepared the soil. They plant
ed potatoes, corn, radishes, lettuce,
onions and other truck. They did
some of the cultivating with horse
drawn machine. .t
Their efforts already have been
rewarded by taking from the soil
many baskets of produce, and along
in the summer and fall they expect
to have considerable corn and pota.
toes, which will help reduce the
high cost of living.
Fred Vaverka. captain, is proud
of his hremen-gardeners, whose
names are Fred Gillin, John Casey
and Joseph Dover If anybody.
wants to learn how to obtain big
results by intensive gardening it
will pay him to drop around to this
engine house and ask the bows how
ii is done,
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

is to meet some of those lonesome
young ladies' in Omaha and help
them to live real sensible life, such
as the good book speaks of.
Il am ready to meet all corners
and will take the trouble to come
and see anyone of YOU if you will
write to me and explain yourself.
am 50 years old, weigh 10 pounds.
feet 10 inches i'll height; not good
looking or ugly. I'm just common,
however, quite sensible and refined.
ITS not case OF no friends but
Just have not had a great many to
choose from. am firm believer
that the two parties must look deep
in their souls to determine it they
like and love each other That is
the reason would like to meet the
ladies of the lonesome type; not the
| homely but common. Please sign
me, r. L. Reddy."
And now this same editor is wait
ing to hear just which one OF his
many correspondents meant what
they said! He wonders who FIRST
will write to r. L. Reddy, and in
sists that for furnishing the address
he must know the outcome.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Some Kisses ) Cents
a Sack; Others $500
for Just Two, IT'S Said

During a recent sensational case
in Judge Holmes division OF mu,
nicipal court evidence was received
that all elderly man had PAID S10G
to a young woman for two kisses.
During a recess of the trial, attor.
neys, judge and others commented
on the apparent advance in the kiss,
ing market, Judge Holmes appear.
ed anxious to obtain some unbiased
expression on the value OF kisses. He
was inclined to doubt whether two
kisses could be worth 500, and yet
he admitted that if man paid that
amount with his eyes and mouth
open, there might be some basis for
the contention as to the value of
these particular kisses.
Il did not know" said Attorney
w. H. Hatteroth, that kisses could
cost as much as that. Only this
morning | was looking into shop
window on Farnam street and |
noted sign which read, Kisses,
five cents per sack"
The judge then resumed the trial.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Bouquet of Live Human Interest Stories About People
When They Wooed and Won BYE
= By Edward Black =

His interest in the injured friend
became more marked. He made
several visits and after a while he
was beginning to wish that his
trends period of convalescence
might be extended, not that he
wished him any bad luck, but he
was beginning to take an interest in
the sister.
Mr.. Kennedy was at that time
beginning to chart his course of
life. He had decided that he would
be lawyer. He also decided that
it IS not good for a lawyer to be
alone at home, so after he had at
tended the Creighton university and
the law departments of the Uni
verslty OF Iowa and the University
of Nebraska, and had obtained a
commission as first lieutenant i'll the
Second Nebraska volunteer infantry
during the Spanish-American war,
he took counsel with himself. He
likewise took counsel with the siste.
of his chum of foot ball days. He
offered his testimony to her, argued
his case, which she took under ad-
visement for a few minutes and
brought in a verdict in his favor.
On bright day in June he made
an important entry in his diary.
Mr.. Kennedy advises a fellow to
go to see his chum when he is i'll,
because the chum may have pretty
and clever sister, and there's no
telling what may happen. And
from a sense of duty, he AYERS it is
the proper thing to do, to visit a
chum who is invalided or indis-
posed.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

Only nine more days until July
/, count EN-. On that day the big
lid will be clamped down all over
this great commonwealth, from
Broadway, i'll little old New York,
to Market street, in Frisco. The
| last kick will be taken from John
Barleycorn. Beer will be Invested
of its authority" as the funny fel-
lows say i'll vaudeville. The amber
colored ambrosia which has beer
soothing the esophasgus of the de-
voice in territory as yet unaffected
by state legislation. will have lost
its influence. 1t will be deader thar
stale battery i'll box car on dark
night.
The loop-hound who gargled his
larynx with the merry suds, Will
point with pride when it is red, or
white or blue. While pop may not
be one of the wonders OF the world,
it is said to have its virtues anG
may not be viewed with alarm, un-
less lit be the sanguinary use OF pop
bottles at ball game. Pop does
not beget headaches, or other mani
festations of the morning after. Nor
does pop promote much business for
the owl cars.
Well Have Beerless Leaders.
There are going to be lot of
peerless leaders. There will be also
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

Sometimes a fellows sister has
friend who comes to visit and i'll
that way he gets acquainted; and,
again, it may be that fellow has
chum who has a sister and he.
goes to visit the chum and meets
the sister, and after a while he mar
ries the sister. A lot of married
men in Omaha can bark back to the
days of long ago when they shlncd
their shoes and washed their faces
when their sisters had company, and
in some cases they asked their
sisters to introduce them. There
are also some married men here
who aver that they met their fate
when introduced to the sisters OF
their chums. In some cases 1t was
just youths fanciful dream and in
other cases the acquaintance ripen-
ed into more serious considerations.
Do you believe in the psychology
ical moment in love affairs! Is
there such woman. or is just a
fiction? ]. A. C. Kennedy, who was
born in Omaha during the year of
the centennial exposition at Phlla-
delphia, believes that he met this
particular kind of a moment some
wears ago when he was in foot
ball game with George Purvis, who
was injured during the contest. He
went after the game to the PurviS
home to extend solicitous interest
in the condition of his friend. He
examined his chum to determine
whether any bones had ben broken.
While thus engaged he met for the
first time a sister of the injured
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Have a Smile?

Elias Cornstalks Cat Metropolitan
museum entrance)-We'll have 20
go back t tn tavern an get our
umberrella, Mirandy.
Mrs. Cornstalks-Why?, They
amt no clouds shown.
Cornstalks-I know, but read that
consumed sign. 1t says: "Umber-
rellas an canes must be checked be-
fore entering" and if we amt got
no cane or umberrelia they won't
let us in, will they?
= Wife-Boo-hoo! Mrs. Warmoney
snubbed me today. | suppose she
thinks I'm not her equal.
Observation-Disclosures. You're her
equal in every way. Why, she's
nothing but conceited, painted
and-powdered piece O cheese.
Lawyer-What! Fifty dollars for
cleaning out my chimney? This is
an outrageous charge.
Chimney Sweep - Well, you
charged my brother 500 for repre-
senting him in court when he was
non-suited. I've just non-sooted
your chimney. Pay up or you'll
have suit, on your hands even if
you haven't any SCOT.
Jolly Boy-Laugh and grow fat.
Grouch-Aw, can that stuff. !
tried it once and my teeth fell out
n broke.
Miss Ina Ficient-Isn't my new
uniform just too perfectly swell?
Miss Hustler-Altogether toe
darned swell, unless you do some
thing real to measure up to it.
Buck Private Ito benevolent
looking old party with stars on his
shoulder -Got a match?
General Supplying the match)-
Why did you fail to salute al
officer?
Buck Private-I just got here
an amt got acquainted YET.
General (chuck1ing)-Well,
don't mind so much, but don't lie
any of these second lieutenant:
| catch you falling to salute, Of
they'll baw1 you out a-plenty.
Duck Hunter-Didn't have any
luck. Only shot couple of coots
Wife-I think it is dreadful. How
do you know those coots didn'
have a lot of little coolies, which
will starve them to death now?
Bolshevist Baltic Fleet ordered
| to Attack Allies.-Headline.
Well, anyway, the Bolshevist
seem to have more spunk than thu
! Germans displayed.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

a host of refugees who will have
hung up their bar aprons for the
last time, just like one would hang
his harp on willow tree, or hang
his ukelele on a tall tree. Will they
be cherries leaders, or will they
be fearless leaders?
These joy-water prescription fill
ers, these nimble faucet chauffeurs,
will have to learn to shoot soda
or go to work. These boys who
filled your orders as per sample, and
then sent you home to your mother
in-law, will have to find another
place in the sun.
But we who live in this great and
glorious desert, where no lip has
touched liquor since May /. 1917,
should worry about July |. We have
quit singing Lips That Touch
Liquor, Shall Never Touch Mine. -
We have gone through the testing
fires of bone-dry communal life. We
can look booze hound in the face
without having the river chills. We
can drink pop, near-beer, Jamaica
| ginger, tlavoring extracts, hair ton
&c, bay rum, and other interior dec
orations. And we are learning how
to place raisins, sugar and water
where they will do the most good.
And The yellow Peril"
Dandclion wine also has been dis
covered in paying quantities. Dan
delion wine may not inspire one to
dance the shimmy gallop, but we OBJ
serve that people throughout the
country were not SO eager this
spring to remove this yellow peril
The forecast is that there will be
more birds manicuring dandelions
next spring, than there are bugs pay
ing the extra war tax on soda pop;
and there will be lot more Waiting
from the neck up on dandelion wine
in Nebraska than there will be dane
ing from the neck down in Kansas.
The old familiar bar pennant will
be flown at halfmast, the pretzel will
be remodeled, and free lunch will
receive jolt on the coco when the
pros put the hampers on the rum
orchard picnickers who hung around
the headache garages to doll up the
mirrors with stale beer and salt.
Misery likes company. Total alb
stainers in present dry territory will
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
SLICE O. LIFE

| wanted light gray hat.
had always wanted light gray hat
| dreamed of light gray hats
And | hung about show windows
Where light gray hats were shown
The boss of our house
Wanted me to have green hat.
She had always wanted me to have
one.
"A light gray hat is too old.
What you need is green she SAID
1t will match your complexion.
The argument continued for weeks
And in the meantime the old hat
Began to look like shiny can.
If YOU have ever seen a Skinny can
You will know what | mean.
Well, we were down town together
And the argument attracted the at
tention
OF several policemen,
And the crowd gathered round.
! insisted upon a gray hat.
She insisted upon a green hat.
Finally we were obliged to compro'
mise.
We compromised on a grsen hat.
Roy X. Moulton.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Search Of the Federal
Building Fails to
Reveal Judge S Razor

Razor, razor, who's got my
razor?" was the name of the excit-
ing game played around the office
of Federal Judge Woodrough last
Tuesday, when he returned home
from one of his out state trips with
out being able to rake the, day
growth from off that noble chin.
But in vain! All near the anguish
dignity had hidden their rusty
blades from his grasp.
His honor commenced to search
the federal building for one of the
culinary instruments, but he
must have discovered hidden
booze chest instead, for he returned
with the rath of a vengeful justice
upon his fair. countenance.
We'll, I'll shave in spite of you
all" was the malediction cast
behind as our hero departed the
mocking multitude.
Next morning the third floor oil
the federal building was quiet and
our own Marshall Flynn could
enjoy his siesta in peace. The
Judge has accomplished his revenge
His chin. forsooth, was smooth
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
You're Right

I like it when it's hot,
When it's sizzling
And it's frizzling,
And there isn't any spot
Anywhere
Where there is breath of air;
When my weary faltering feet
Stick at every single step
To the tar that's i'll the street;
When my patent rubber heels
Burn upon the torrid walk,
And they leave a pungent scent
Till wherever | have went
They have known that | have came
And the flesh upon my frame.
Full two hundred pounds. at that
Seems to melt;
And my hay hat seems to weigh
Twenty pounds
As | plod my weary rounds.
| like it at hundred,
At a hundred day and night,
| know what you are thinking,
You are thinking I'm liar
And | think that you are right.
By Roy X. Mouton
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Eligible Omaha Bachelors

Now, here's Nate" Denny, girls
There really seems to be no excuse
whatever why he is still running
around loose, with no wife. to guide
his erring footsteps, no tender wom-
ans hand to soothe his brow, cook
his meals or bring his slippers to
him when he comes home i'll the
evening after hard day among the
hogs at the South Side.
What's that! Insult the South
Side! We certainly did nothing of
the sort. The hogs mentioned were
real, honest-to-goodness, fat, woody,
SOFA hundred hogs.
For this bachelor whom we have
under the microscope is chief hog
buyer for Armour & Co, and Man
ager R. c. Howe's righthand man.
He is an expert and can tell hog
from a sheep as far as he can see
them Not only that but he can
tell good hog from bad or in
different hog. His Judgment on hogs
is perfect. That is why he holds the
position of buyer for the great house
of Armour & Co.
Plenty OF Baths.
He has staff OF expert buyers
working under him and they have
a nice little Office building all to
themselves at the stock yards. 1t
is equipped with bathrooms so that,
after being in the stock yards at
mosphere all day, they take a
plunge, put on their glad raiment
aud go forth, spick and span as a
new dollar.
Nat" Lives at the Omaha club in
regular man-abouttown style like
you see in the movies, except that
he hasn't special valet. The NOV
les are his hobby, by the way. He
IS very debonnaire and you'd take
him for big banker or diplomat
or something.
Has Lots of Friends.
He belongs to the Athletic club
and has lot of men friends, as
well as some OF the so-called gen
tier SEX"
In fact, one of the "gentler sex"
snapped the picture of Mate" shown
herewith. 1t is the only picture he
has had taken since he was 2 years
old. 1t is the only picture of him
now extant in this or any other
country.
Here's chance for some girl to
win happiness. Mates" disposition
is all-wool and a yard wide, And
you know dear, chief hog buyers
for big packing houses get fat SAL
aries.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
bparf6{6lE88! E T: y ]
The Horseshoe League.

fisherman County Times.)
Great reports have been COM
ing from Arcadia about the
prowess of the horseshoe throw
ers UP there. There are some
horseshoe pitchers in Loup City
who think they are not so slow,
and accordingly they have chal-
lenged the Arcadia men for a
match to be held at Jenner's
park on opening day, Tuesday.
June 10. Six or eight players
are~ready to meet a like num-
Der from Arcadia. Let's hear
from the Arcadia men. The
management of Jenner's park is
willing to put up couple of
prizes for this event.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Twentieth Century Farmer
Ready to Wed Lonely Girl
Refined Young Man, Who Has Lived in Both Country
and City and Who Now Owns Farm Wants to
Hear From Bachelor Girls Through Metropolitan
Page Editor.

Here is a man among men! a
farmer who is proud of it. A man
who has worked in the city, neither
handsome nor ugly, but as he says,
common" He evidently will be- a
man with real opinions and real de-
Sires, He wants a lonely, not ugly
friend and is willing to call upon
any. In fact the man wants just
what hundreds of others want-a
real person, who he can both like
and love
Surely there is no better answer
to the queries from lonely, bachelor
maids who write weekly letters in
search of someone who is lonely
too.
In his letter, he says:
Am very sorry that so mary
young ladies are making the mis-
take about not choosing farmers as
their husbands. | wish to say tina!
perhaps 50 per cent of the young
farmers today possess the qualitie.
and financial standing so much
looked for.
Il am farmer to the core, how
ever. have done other work for !
number of years. Have worked one
year at the Union Pacific headquar-
ters of Omaha and also for the Bur.
lington railroad, Northwestern ARD
Union Pacific freight house as clerk
checker, storer, trucker, and also a,
switchboard operator for Y. NJ. c
A. | operated under all auditor OF
books, drafting and auditing a SCI
of books and placing the accounts
in new set Drafted by me in Il
days, these accounts were of SIN
months standing and was cons;d-
cred quick work considering every
thing. I also keep Sc; OF books
on my farm.
Il would like to talk to the skep-
tic that thinks the young farmers
Of today don't know how to- enjoy
themselves in a respectable mad
ner
Il have lot more to say and if
you wish will give a typewriter let
ter on this. My object in writing
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

garden her thoughts take flight to
That battle-scarred region where the
iuggernauts of war ruthlessly crush
cd even the flowers of the field.
And as she looks at these pretty
peoples, as they nod their heads in
the evening breeze. she thinks of the
son who with tender hands gathered
the seeds which have blossomed into
reminders of wars awful din.
A few days ago this mother re-
ceived more seeds by her son from
Eoblenz, Germany. where he is now
serving with the army OF occupation.
Another son. Harris McFarlane. is
in France with telegraph corps.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Has Lots of Friends.
What He Got.

Met pretty girl one day..
Took her down to see play,
Bought her candy, cake and
cream,
Other things that were beseem,
Thought was in good, all right
When l took her home that
night,
So hung around and babe kiss,
And what think you she said.
this miss?
Of all the cheap skates l ever
lamped with my once overs, you
are the crustiest, two by twice. hair
bIained gezeke on Gawd's earth.
Shake those gunboats of yours and
evaporate. Good night
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
EXTRAORDINARY.

An unique display is attracting
crowds to Sixteenth street shoe
store window. 1t is a pair of mems
shoes, selling at S.. They are not
freak but a real pair of shoes,
declared the proprietor when inter
viewed. They are made to be
worn and will really give consider
able wear, in spite of the unbelieve-
able price" An aged man who was
in the store said he remembered the
time when a good pair of shoes
could be bought for S..
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Mother Cultivates
Bed Of Poppies With
Seeds From Flanders

Mrs. w. P. McFarlane, 1888 South
Thirtieth street. is cultivating a bed
OF peoples which were raised from
seeds sent to her by son, John w.
McFarlane, from Flanders field.
When she walks through her flower
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22

A little excitement was caused in
town last Saturday afternoon by the
ringing of the firebell. In a little
while a large crowd gathered at
Klein's barn where fire had started
possibly by a passerby throwing
cigar stub into some straw that was
at the corner of the barn. There was
quite a little blaze but it was extin-
guished before much damage was
done,
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
An Obstacle.

He met a peach
Down at the beach.
Indeed she was a beaut.
He fell for her
Right off, yes sir!
And forthwith pressed his suit.
The lady sighed
And then she cried:
You surely must forget me,
It's sad, but true,
| can't wed you;
My husband wouldn't let me-"
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Mistakes Will Happen.

tLaureT AUVOCate.J
Will the person who took by
mistake from the Andrew Jen-
sen store a package containing
shirt waists and stockings please
return the same to either An
drew Jensen or B. J. Hoile.-Ad-
vertisement.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
That's Easy-It's This WAY.

A Constant Reader writes in tt
find out how Bolsheviki is pro.
bounced. By listening carefully
wherever we have been, we have
found that it is pronounced as fol-
lows:
Bolshy-vikky. .4>
Balshy-vishy.
Bol-shave-eeky.
3 Boshy-veeky.
Bosky-visky. T.
Bols-ski-veeky. 81,
Bolzv-vizkv.
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
YE EDITOR MAKES A "MAUX
Pas"

Life is made up of series of
disappointments.
This summer when the straw hats
began to blossom ilr the store win
dows we noted some of a light
brown color. They struck US at
once as something, "Oh, so diff
ferent' from the common almost
white hay hats of past summers. We
aspired to be what is known as
nifty dresser"
So we purchased the brown hat
about 10 days ago. In pride we
wore it from the store, prepared to
receive congratulation Of friends.
Alas, as we stated before.
We met one whom we considered
a tried and true friend. We ex-
pected pretty compliment on our
hat. He looked at it. We were
throbbing with pleased expectancy.
whats the idea?" he said.
What do you mean, Whats the
idea?'' we asked.
whats the idea in wearing the
old lid?' he replied.
We tried to crush him with
look.
This is brand new hat and cost
three bucks, fifty" we answered.
He laughed, cruel, cynical laugh.
Say, tell that to Sweeney" he
said. 81 can tell by the color that
its an old one from last year"
well, it isn't an old one from
last year." we said, taking it off
and showing shin the inside, all
fresh and new. This" we con-
tinued, is the latest and niftiest
shade, right from,New York"
Some shadew he said, continuing
his vacant grin.
"If you haven't got the intelli-
gence or the style to appreciate a
classy hat, don't blame US for that
we told him and then walked away.
But the cruel arrow had struck
home. 1t is but too true The shade
of the hat is like that of white one
which has been worn all summer.
The more we looked at it the more
we realized this. Other persons
have cruelty tainted us with wear
ing a last years hat. One of the
girls in the women's department
said it looked antique"
A man named Smith in the court
house tried to be funny by offering
to 2chip in" and buy us 1919 straw
hat.
Alas, such is life. Our fondest
hopes end in disappointment.
s THE TRUTH.
We regret that we have but one
life to live i'll our country. We'd
like to live thousand years and see
how this peace treaty is going to
,,.n.l. .,,.4 p.nt'1,r ,,-a,,ld 500 Lot
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
Undesirable Citizens.

OHueSlIdDle NltlZenS.
A blooming jay
IS Charley Hewitt;
Just hear him say.
Il seen you do it."
Pittsburgh Post.
Provoking guy
Is Howard Brame;
Just hear him say,
The train has came" q
Butler Citizen.
We hate the gink
Till hate is spent.
Who mourns. where
Has Maggie VENT
Omaha daily bee., 1919-06-22
The Mists.

The Mists.
A pessimist is one who signs
On days when there are cloudless
skies,
Complaining that the suns so bright
1t quite obscures his share of light!
The optimist is one who sings,
And says all sorts of cheerful things,
When gloom so dark the world en-
shrouds
That he can't even see the clouds
Cartoons Magazine. o..