davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
SOME MORE

[ want to show you in just a
few sentences that the belief in
eternal torment is a SANDER
against God. These are going
to be my Fourteen Points" on
~ there may be more than four
teen when I get done.
I've believe that God is
self-eXistent-that He never did
BEGIN to exist and never will
to exist.
2.-We believe that God is all
wise.
3.-We believe that God is all
powerful.
Awe believe that God is all
good
5.-We believe there was a
time back in the past when man
did not exist at all.
Good conceived the idea Of
making man.
7.-Man, not yet being in ex-
lstenca could not be consulted
about it.
8,-Ihe whole responsibility
for mans existence here in the
world rests upon God, as man
had no choice in it at all.
9.-Being all-Wlse. God GER
Jainly knew when He was MAX
ing man that He was making a
weak and erring creature.
10.-Being aII-poWerful, God
certainly could have made man
stronger and better if He had
wanted to.
11.-Being all-good, God Ger
tainly would not have made a
weak and sinful man just for the
pleasure Of seeing him sin and
then furnishing him for it.
12.-TO believe in eternal =
torment for the wicked for
ces US to one OF the other Of
these conclusions:
I3.-God is not all-Wise, and
therefore didn't know what sort
of q weak and sinful creature He
was making.
14.-Or He is not all-poWerful
and hence WAS simply not able to
make man any better.
I5.-Or else lie is not all-good
and hence just naturally wanted
something to torture for the fun
OF watching it suffer.
16.-Lt don't matter which Of
these last three stateemnts you
believe, You are dish0noring
God.
III do not believe either of
them and hence I do not believe
in eternal torment.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
THE GOD THAT WAS LEFT
OUT.

In closing his noted speech in
support of the peace treaty and
league of nations before the Sen
ate on July 10th, President Will.
son said:
THE stage is set, the destiny
disclosed. 1t has come about by
no plan of our conceiving, but by
the hand of God, who led us in
this way"
Please ex,@eT2 me while I
laugh. "The hand of God " to
be sure !)When everybody knows
it is a notorious fact that the
name Of God OF any reference to
Gods leading does not appear in
the whole clumsy proceedings of
the conference. There has new
Ell been a more fragrant case Of
completely ignoring God. They
didn't even have a chaplain to
open the sessions with prayer.
And it looks to ne like it is
sorter late in the day to be try
ing to drag God into it now.
They were going to do great and
wonderful things and claim all
the glory themselves. But
since they see that they have
made such a miserable mess of
everything they would like to
pack the blame On God.
But it won't work. God is not
to be played with that way. He
will hold the great statesmen to
a strict account. In this connec-
ton, there is a terrible forceful-
ness in the scripture which
speaks Of the fate Of "aII the ma
tons that forget God"
All the nations of the world
have forgotten God, and they
are all right now lettering on the
brink Of destruction.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
FINE FOAM.

Patriotism, at a staggering sa-
crifice, has made the world safe
for democracy. Now Religion
must make democracy safe for
the World.-Christian Herald.
= Such foWery nonsense as that
will catch a few thoughtless
readers, but any person who
stops and LOOKS it right square in
the face will discover that its
eyes are too little, its nose it put
on crooked, it's mouth is cut
slonchWays, and it amt got any
countenance. In short, the
whole thing is a fraud and a
humbug. It is not only untrue,
but impossible.
Such Patriotism and such De
mocracy as we have in this coun-
try are both dangerous, and such
Religion as most of our bought
preachers hand out wouldn't
save the immortal gizZard of a
grasshopper.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
One Of the grave charges

One Of the grave charges
brought against the Bolshevists
is that they insist on fighting
with ideas" instead Of bullets
wherever that is possible. Ii
they can re, son with a man and
make friends with him without
shooting him they always prefer
to do that. Of course that is a
terrible crime, because our good
"Chrlstian" armies don't want
and ideas OF any reasoning in
their business. They don't
want anything dragged in that
might interfere with the nice,
pleasant business Of killing.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
WILSON'S "EPIGRAMS."

Our silver-throated Woodrow
is a great maker Of epigrams.
That is, he used to be, but he has
about quit it. He discovered
that his beautiful little sayings
had 4 mighty hateful way of
kicking backwards harder than
they shot forward.
Put on yer SDecks and let's
take Z peep at some of Mr.. VIII
sons Offering gems that he
now wishes he had never utter
ed:
"Watchful waiting" came
about first, [ believe. But Mex
leo laughed at it, and we had to
cross the Rio Grande and climb
. cactus bush trying to catch
Villa.
"America is too proud to
fight" But he had to take that
back and go to fighting.
''GLake the world safe for de-
m0cracy." And now he's got a
still bigger job on his hands to
make his autocratic democracy
safe for the world.
"Self-determination Of little
peoples" But he went to Paris
and helped the Big Five to draw
boundary lines in their own in
terests Without ever asking the
little peoples" anything about
it.
"Open covenants openly arriv-
ed at" But he went to Paris
and locked himself in a room
with the Big Five and they made
"secret covenants secretely az
rived at," and Jesus Christ Him.
self would have been kicked out
if He had tried to enter.
The famous fourteen Points,
we're supposed to be a right
smart better than the Ten Com
mandments, and all the troubles
Of the world were going to be
measured and settled by them.
But. they turned out to be four
teen cuckleburrs under the
Peace Conferences tail, and they
all had to be picked off and
thrown away. When Premier
Clemenceau first saw them he
said:
"Fourteen. It is very many.
The good God had but ten"
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
The constitution they have

The constitution they have
drawn up for the Leegonashuns
does not mention the name Of
God at all. The excuse they give
for not recognizing God in their
work is that the heather nations
would object to it. So it seems
that they consider it more i'm
portant to please the heather
than to please God.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
PLAY THIS ON YOUR
JEWSTiARP

Among all their big work and
plans for preventing War, the
one and only plan that WOULD
succeed has never been serious
Iy considered by the big bosses,
and never will be.
It has been suggested by a few
Socialists and other cranks and
Missionaries that the voters Of
each country ought to be allow
ed to vote on the question OF de-
claring War against any other
country. Then War could not
come until d majority Of the
voters expressed their desire for
it at the ballot box. Further
more, a record should be kept Of
how each person voted, and only
those who voted FOR war
should have to go and fight while
those who voted AGAINST de-
claring wal should be allowed
to stay at home.
If the league Of nations would
get down to business and put
THAT plan in operation all over
the world, I'll just bet you my
luther breeches that there
would never be another war.
But will the league Of nations
do it?
Not on your chin whiaEers, my
dear Hiram.
And why?
Because, from the standpoint
Of the plutes, the plan had one
fatal defect-IT WOULD WORK.
1t would save life and prevent
the suffering and distress that
wal always brings. It would
benefit the common people.
But, bless yer heart, honey,
that is the very thing that the
pIute8 do not want. They want
to gallop around over creation
and talk big and Dretont that
they are. trying to do something
for the people. But if they hap
pen to see q chance to REALLY
DO SOMETHING that WOULD
benefit the masses, they will
run from it like a scared rabbit.
I hate to say such q thing,
but God knows it is true. I'm
less you are q millionaire capita
list and war prOflteer you need
not expect any benefit from the
league Of nations. If it ever
gets done being born and starts
out to do business, it will be ten
times more q tool Of autOcr2cy
and capitalism than even the
German Empire ever was.
If left to depend on their own
resources, the nations Of Europe
might be sorter skittish about
getting into another Tucus fol
awhile. But if We go and tie uT
with them and bind ourselves tC
90 and help them again, don't
you know it will just encourage
them to jump right into another
wal the first chance? If yoU
don't know it, [ do.
And, in the meantime, the one
and only plan that really
WOULD prevent future wars
will never be tried.
That's the kind Of a devil-rld.
den world we are living in, fel
lers, and | don't look for it to bf
any better until Jesus Chris
comes in His glory and His
mighty power and takes central
0nn Of tho secular nl1ltn nanprs
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
Thoughtless people very of


Thoughtless people very Of
ten use such expressions as
"Throught all eternity" and
they don't realize how foolish it
is. You cannot use either
through" OF "all" in connection
with eternity. If you can get
THROUGH it you have found
the END 0f it, and if it has any
end it is not eternity, If you can
experience it ALL, then there is
not any more Of it, and so it is
not eternity. Why don't people
learn to talk with some sense?
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

In past years The Fool-Killer
was softer coarse and shallow
and funny. But from now on 1T
is going to be refined and deep
and funny. The fun is only
dropped in to make you root
through the dry stuff to find it.
A good side-splitter every few
inches will help your digestion
and keep you reading on to find
the next one. :
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Show this paper around among
your friends and get up a big
club for it. Just read one or two
pieces in a crowd and you'll get
the whole bunch.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

One of the secular plute papers
calls me "a prophetic fool" But
that is at least some better than
being an unprophetic fool like
that papers editor is.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

If you find anything in this
paper that amt so, just crack
away and prove it. That's what
you are hired for.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

An exchange Of the reaction
arv persuasion says that the
present great wave of unrest and
dissatisfaction among the work
in people Of this country is
nothing but "groWing pains"
Yes, "growing palms. is right,
because the pains are growing
worse all the time.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Don't forget Joseph and his
descendants. They are going
to bob up somewhere pretty
soon.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
Club Rates.
IN CLUBS OF FOUR OR MORE, rs CENTS 4 YEAR

The price of single subs to The Fool-Kiler is FORTY GEMS a wear.
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a year each.
lub-rajaers, but thousands Of people enjoy getting up clubs for the fun Of
{ ana TO help out q coed cause. You will enjoy it, too and you are hereby
nvitaa to become a regular clubratser: If you can distribute some samples
no good hands, all they will cost you is to ask for them.
IN aending in clubs, be sure 10 write each nan and address vary
sarefDLy. Remember that 8 name which looks plain to you in o own
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he FoolKiler is now nearly ten years old. 1t has a large cir
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Send remittance by registered letter, express or .poEomce money
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The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

The schools and the profess
sional teachers have certain cut
and-dried rules that they say a
fellow must conform to when he
writes. But [ make it a rule to
observe no rules, and my writing
seems to get by about as we'll as
the luther kind.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

~ @1S SO41AS
to bob up somewhere pretty
soon.
The schools and the profess
sional teachers have certain cut
and-dried rules that they say a
fellow must conform to when he
writes. But [ make it a rule to
observe no rules, and my writing
seems to get by about as well as
the luther kind.
Some well-meaning people are
always throwing off on the study
Of prophecy. They seem to con-
slider it a sign of mental weak
ness for anybody to study OF
believe what the old Bible pro-
phets wrote. Well, they will
change their tune before long.
The orthodox people of this
age are just as badly in the
dark as the orthodox people of
the Jewish age were. And of
course they Will go right on COM
hitting terrible crimes in the
name Of Justice, precisely as the
Jews did when they condemned
and cruciFied the Christ.
If Debs we're one half as mean
as his enemies claim, he certain
I,ly would have been a Well Street
operator, a railroad president, OF
a corporation lawyer long before
this. There must be some mis-
take. Genuine high-class mean
ness seldom gets as low as Debs
is.
Some sleepy-heads thought
when ! started cut on this line
that would not be able to create
any interest at all. But, MASSEY
me, they just ought to see how
it is going now. These very
things I am talking about are
getting to be of more interest
than anything else in the world.
The churches are tied to the
old order, and they will remain
as bling as a bat. And the big
ger and more prominent an Or
thodox leader is the binder he
will be. There will be individ-
uaEs in the churches who will see
the new daWning light and walk
toward it, but the organized
churches will stand still and get
run over.
Got a letter last week from {
man who thinks it amt right, tt
study prophecy. He thinks we
ought to get as many people
saved" as We can, and then Just
let the rest Of it rock. That
would be like putting a man on
the train and then refusing to
tell him where the train was
going. Why not give the man
q timetable?
The statement of science that
matter is indestructable" is
used as an argument that the
soul must be immortal. Good
gracious! I thought you said
the soul was a spirit being which
could exist independent Of any
material form. And if the soul
is not matter, what has the de-
struction of matter got to do
with it?
Alvin C. York, of Tennessee,
the most famous hero that the
war produced, is a mighty reli-
~gious-sort of a fellow and an
elder in his church. It must be
a great comfort and satisfaction
to his sanity soul to know that
he is famous for killing more
men than anybody else could kill
The government ought to give
York a gold-plated halo.
One little thing that might
help some toward keeping peace
would be to quit having a Sec
rotary Of War, Why not call hin
him the Secretary Of Peace, anc
: let him work as hard to prepare
for peace as he now works tt
prepare for war? In matters OF
|, that sort We usually get what
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01
The FOOl-KiIIer.
We'll, EE1Owdy!
Boomer, n. c.
AS the g2I said


This is he only and original F~ooI-Ki!lor> the only thing of
its kind published on earth.
How does it set on our stomach?
If you like it you can get more at headquarters,
The Fool Killer is not even 3 forty leventh cousin to any
other paper on earth.
English language.
This paper wears no bell, muzzle, collar nor halter.
You can put that down to start with.
It does not bust its crupper holding back to see what some
body else is going to say.
It stands square, ~shouIdere1 and hat-footed for the people
who do the worlds work.
Ii believes in the Bible, but not in the way that Orthodoxy
teaches it.
It believes that the Eternal Torment doctrine is a lie and a
SANDER against God.
Il believes that we are now in the Great Time of Trouble
predicted to come at the end of the Gentle Dispensa'ion.
It believes chat all the governments Of men are now toter-
ing to their final fall, and that the next thing after this will be
the literal Milennial Kingdom OF Christ on earth.
It believes that most of the popular orthodox preachers are
bl nd leader RS of the blind, ard that they have already fallen
into the ditch.
! What do YOU think about it, mister?
How would you like to sop your mental fapjack in my
] editorial molasses for awhile?
. See Club Rates above.
! THE FOOL-KILLER
Bonner, North Carolina
q zEEz-zEz
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Some well-meaning people are
always throwing off on the study
Of prophecy. They seem to con-
slider it a sign Of mental weak
ness for anybody to study OF
believe what the old Bible pro-
phets wrote. Well, they will
change their tune before long.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

If | seem to harp too much on
the eternal torment question, let
me remind you that it is a very
important subject. If the ortho-
dox claims about endless tor
ment are true the fact ought to
be known, and if not true it
ought to be known. So I pro-
pose to discuss it as much as |
please. II it can't stand the
light, that is a plain admission Of
its weakness, and it ought to be
exposed. If it is true and able
to stand the light, then anything
[ say cannot possibly hurt it.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

The orthodox people of this
age are just as badly in the
dark as the orthodox people of
the Jewish age were. And of
course they Will go right on COM
hitting terrible crimes in the
name Of Justice, precisely as the
Jews did when they condemned
and cruciFied the Christ.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

Alvin C. York, of Tennessee,
the most famous hero that the
war produced, is a mighty reli-
gious sort Of a fellow and an
elder in his church. It must be
a great comfort and satisfaction
to his sanity soul to know that
he is famous for killing more
men than anybody else could kill.
The government ought to give
York a gold-plated halo.
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

One little thing that might
help some toward keeping peace
would be to quit having a Sec
rotary Of War. Why not call him
him the Secretary Of Peace, and
let him work as hard to prepare
for peace as he now works to
prepare for war? In matters of
that sort we usually get what
we expect and prepare for, and
just as long as we go. on prepaT-
ing for wal we will have it.
What would you think of a pray
Ell meeting that employed a Sec
rotary Of Cussing?
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

The statement of science that
matter is indestructable" is
used as an argument that the
soul must be immortal. Good
gracious! I thought you said
the soul was a spirit being which
could exist Independent Of any
material form. And if the soul
is not matter, what has the de-
struction Of matter got to do
with it?
The fool-killer., 1919-08-01

If Debs we're one half as mean
as his enemies claim, he certain
,ly would have been a Well Street
operator, a railroad president, OF
a corporation lawyer long before
this. There must be some mis-
take. Genuine high-class mean
ness seldom gets as low as Debs
is.
The Canon City record with which is consolidated the Canon City cannon., 1919-06-12
Lieut.. Clyde Hyssong
Is Here On Leave

Lieut. Clyde Hyssong of the Three
Hundred and Isifty-fifth Regiment,
tighty-ninth division, who came home
on the Leyiathan with 1909 men OF
that unit, arrived in the city Thurs
day and was greeted by his parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. John Hyssong. his sister.
Mrs. Jack Hannigan and family. his
brother Harry and wife and his young
est sister 1t was the first time in FIVE
years that the family has been to-
gether. so that Il was happy reun-
ION Clyde left here as a private
with Company c, Colorado National
Guards. three years ago, and has been
In service ever since. He received
his promotion at the first Officers
training school at Camp Funston, an,i
was assigned 10 the Three Hundred
and Fifty-fifth. with which he re-
mained throughout the war, partici-
pating in all of the big battles OF the
war. and especially the St Mihiel
drive. He fought month after month
ir the trenches with death playing
about him constantly. hut escaped
without scratch.
In September he was recommended
TOT CapttiucN- ous tht diIsiiSuSe
took effect before the red tape was
finished. and he has not received il
vet. However. he is stili in the serv-
Ice. ard has been transferred to the
central dena-tment. His promotion
will no doubt be given him in the near
future.
CLYDE Is looking remarkably well.
and didn't es-er'ence sick day in all
his three yea-s of service.
The Canon City record with which is consolidated the Canon City cannon., 1919-06-12
viii Cooperate In
Tourist Business

Secretary K. A. Bradbury Of the
Chamber of Commerce returned home
Friday morning from Colorado
Springs. where he went the previous
day to look oyer the situation In -ela-
ton to the tourist business for the
coming summer. He made the trip
back to Canon City with Dr. Hart
Goodioe. He had many interviews
with people there concerning the tour
fist season and all agreed thar The in
dications favored the largest nnmse-
OF visitors during the next few months
in the history OF Colorado. The peo-
pie Of the Pixies Peak district. accord
ing to Mr.. Bradbury, will heartily co !.
operate with Canon City In a cam
paign to induce tourists to include in
their iutinerary trips to the top of the
Royal Gorge. over the Skyline drive
and the Phantom canon highway. All
hotels. transportation companies and
garages in the Pixies Peak district
win advertise the attractions of Canon
City. The Scenic Auto Company. OF
which J. l. Reaconer is president. will
shortly establish daily sightseeing
excursion between Colorado Springs
anu ,eitoi Cits anu wiz put al ica7t
two large passenger cars into the
service. Runs will be made TO the
top of the Royal Gorge and over the
Skyline drive. The return trip will
be made via the Phantom canon route
tc the Cripple Creek district The
company has erected in front of its of
fee at 113 Pixies Peak avenue large
sign, 20x30 feet in size. describing the
allurements of the Canon City trip
The Canon City record with which is consolidated the Canon City cannon., 1919-06-12
Orchard Park

Mrs = J. rc-r and sister. Mrs. F.
l.. Lindeu. rrS rt.,e son. went TO
westciie. fueria to visit her daugh-
ter and r'e~e s.rs. Otto Franks and
Miss Fern Deem.
Mr.. and Mfs.,I A. GLADDEN. and son.
Albert. Jr.. motored up from Pueblo
Saturday and sl-ent Sunday with their
daughter. Mrs X E. roran.
Mrs. Nora Nresna Of La Jurta is
here visiting M~s ". L. Garderar on
c. r. Fresseyss rupch. Mrs. Me sdon
Ia on her way 10 California where
she expec-s to make her home.
J. H. Norris Of Pueblo came IN on
Saturday to spend Sunday with his
uncle. J. A. Boss.n.
Mr.. and Mrs. F-snk Tcwnsley mo-
tored down from ro'orauo Springs
and srent q few days 1t the Boyssa
ranch.
Mr.. md Mrs. ck-aner rave Z Marty
dance IN honor Of Nsp Nora Mead
on Monday evening. Refreshments
of sandwiches and coil&e Were served.
anl everyone had uest enjuyahle
The Canon City record with which is consolidated the Canon City cannon., 1919-06-12
26 Inch Trout
Caught Sunday


n. l.. Sears caught 2S-inch Lock
haven trout in the Arkansas river in
the vicinity of Cotopaxi last Sunday
and this morning sent II to taxider-
mist in Denver to have II mounted as
a permanent trophy of his skill as an
angler. II was magnificent speci-
men of its kind and was, perhaps, the
largest trout taken from the Arkansas
river in Fremont county.
Scores OF trout or different varieties
have been taken from the river by rod
and reel during the last two weeks,
and fishing is becoming very popular
as a recreation with Canon City peo-
pie along It's course between Parkdale
and Texas Creek.
Sunday scores OF fishermen and pie
nickers were camped along the river
between Parkdale and Pleasanton and
all OF them were more or less success
full in mring the "spectled beauties''
from the waters OF the stream.
Mrs. Ray Thomas caught eis.
pound trout = day or two aRo from
the river and Bert REYNOLDS dne but
sliKhtly less In size about the same
time. Hubert Tremayne landed trout
Ie inches long the same day. J. w.
Mckinley caught ~ OF them near Co
topaxi on Memorial nav, varying IN
length from : TO ~ inches. He had
Ms crsel nllsd With trout q the end
of the days spqet. s < 4 Z,