South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-05-04
By Montague
Glass

cent per annum. and that Is the
very least YOU could do for your
country when you consider that
right now the salesman would say
and he should practice in advance
20 make his voice sound tragical.
right now your uncles and my
uncles is making peace In Paris
with all the strength Of language
which they've got in their system
Yes. Mr.. Sitson.' the salesman
should go on 10 say, the govern
ment is only asking you TO invest IL
interest bearing cash money, so &c
speak, and what for a sacrifice Is
that compared 10 the suffering OF
your father-in-laws and my father
in-laws which is bravely standing
larynX 20 larynx in the battle area
Of the peace conference while the
air is filed with French. Italian.
Greek, Jugo-Slob and Polish re
marks. You sit here in your COM
Portable home while the flower of
our experts and clooege professors
is exposed 10 all kinds Of coffee ant
cigars. Amt you ashamed to be
doing nothing but buy bonds wheI
old and feeble men like most OF the
American Peace delegates is battling
with French walters, French taxicab
drivers. French hotel service and
French laundry lists. giving and re-
ceiving no mercy. v understand,
and you should thank Heaven that
your own country has been spared
the horrors OF having on our own
soil this here Peace Conference
which is now raging IN Paris, un-
derstand me-"
THAT would be anyhow an argu-
| ment." Morris admitted. but with
these here Victory Liberty Bonds. il
I shouldn't ought TO be a case OF first
come first serve. With only four
and a half billion dollars worth Of
Victory Liberty Bonds for sale. Abe
| Seventy-fve percent OF the people
/ of the United States should ought TO
/ be going round looking as sore as
/ fellers that sell tickets in theater
/ box offices, and when anyone asks
\ 'em why. they should say: Amt il
/ just my luck. l put off buying my
! Victory Liberty Bonds till April %.
and when 1 got round to the bank,
/ there wasn't one left Yes, Abe.
instead OF Victory Liberty Bond
salesman having 10 go about visit
ing customers. V understand, they
should ought to have luxurious fit
ted-up offices, and il should ought
to be a case of when the customer
arrives, the Victory Liberty Bond
salesman, should ought TO be play
ing auction pinochle or rummy with
two other Victory Liberty Bond
! Statesmen. Then when the customer
says is this the place where they
sell Victory Liberty Bonds, the Gus
toner says: I'll be with you in a
minute and makes the customer
stand around without even Offering
him a seat until the statesmen gets
through playing two more hands
The customer should then make out
his own application. y understand
have the exact change ready and
close the door quietly when leaving
and that's the way would sell Vic
tory Liberty Bonds If 1 was the
government"
That's the way you even try Ia
sell garments" Abe commented.
Because" Morris continued
! evading the challenge. cit is my idea
that IL is a privilege TO be allowed
TO buy these here Victory Liberty
Bonds and before anyone gets that
privilege, Abe, he should be made to
prove that he has done something
TO deserve II. Yes, Abe. instead Of
a man wearing a button TO show
that he has bought Liberty Bonds
he should ought to go before a no
tary public and make an oath that
he has given up his quota 10 all
! Red Cross and United War Relief
Drivers and otherwise done every
thing he could do 10 help win the
war If he couldn't fight in It, y I'M
derstand, and then and only then
Abe, he should be given a button
emitting him to buy Victory Liberty
Bonds under the conditions 1 have
stated"
But joking apart, Mawruss, and
talking business not poetry. under
stand me-" Abe asked, do you