davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
ADVISED HIM TO GO SLOW
oarky's Peculiar Reason for Wanting
Son to Be Easy on His "Pen
Arm" for a While.

George" said Florida man not
long ago to an old negro in his employ
II understand that you intend to give
your son an education"
"Dat's my intention, suh," responded
George. 81 know myself what it's to
struggle along without learnin,' an
has determined my son amt goin' to
have no SIGH trouble as Ise had"
SIS your son learning rapidly?"
"He shore is, sub, Las week he
done wrote lettah to his aunt what
lives more'n twenty miles from we're,
an alta while he's goin to write to his
aunt dat lives bout fifty miles from
yere."
"Why doesn't he write to that aunt
nowF smilingly asked his employer.
HE KANT write so fur yit, sub. He
kin write twenty miles fust rate, but I
tole him not to try fifty miles It'll he
gets stronger wifi his en.''-Jackson-
vile Times-Union.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Wanted
Ash, oak, maple, birch, Eastwood,
hemlock, chestnut and pine. Also
logs or standing timber, especially
ash. The H. Sheldon Mfg. Co., EIkIand. Pa.
The Devastated Areas.

YES" observed the sergeant major
(volunteer) to the unwilling working
party (retainable), "some o. you lads
don't seem to realize that you're well
off. You might be ON the Rhine 'aving
'yms of ate sung at you all day long.
You might be on the Somme, working
side by side with Chinks and ferries.
Instead O. which ere you are in love
ly country, good society, beaucoup
estaminary an beaucoup mademoi-
selles. An still you won't put your
backs into it. Very WELL if you want
a change you shall ave one. I'll ave
the whole lot of you transferred to the
demonstrated areas" Manchester
Guardian.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
MILLIONS
Suffer from
Acid Stomach

Millions of people suffer year after year
from ailments affecting practically every
part OF the body never. dreaming that their
Ill health can be traced directly to acid
stomach. Here IL the reason: poor digestion
means poor nodrishment of the different
organs and tissues of the body. The blood Is
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS weak, thin, sluggish.
Ailments of many kinds spring from such
conditions. Billousness rheumatism, lum-
bago, sciatica, general weakness, loss OF
power and energy, headache, insomnia,
nervousness mental depression-even more
serious ailments such catarrh and cancor
of the stomach. Intestinal ulcers, cirrhoss
Of the liver. heart trouble-all of these car
often be traced directly to acid -stomach.
Keep a sharp lookout for the first symp-
toms of Observation-Disclosures. heart
burn. belching, food repeating, that awful
painful bloat after eating, and sour. gassy
stomach. EATONIC, the wonderful modern
remedy for acid-stomach, Is guaranteed to
bring quick relief from these stomach mis-
cries. Thousands say they dreamed
that anything could bring such speedy relief
every way. Try EATONIC and you. too,
will be just as enthusiastic In its praise.
Make your life worth living-no aches
pains-no blues or melancholy-no more of
that tired. listless feeling. Be well and
strong. Get back your physical and mental
punch: your vim. vigor and vitality. You
will always be weak and ailing long as
you have acid-stomach. So get rid of it now.
Take EATONIC Tablets-they taste good
you eat them like a bit of candy. Your
druggist has EATONIC-50 cents for big
box. Get box from him today and II you
are not satisfied he will refund your money.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Where Poor Sermons Come From.

The little group on the steps of Say
mouths general store and post office
were discussing the ministers cOnven-
ton, then in session at the state capt.
tai, and Squire Lane, who had been
assessed" for his share of Rev. Mr..
Lambs expenses, said that in his opin-
ion there were a good many better
ways of spending five days.
Cheaper, too" he added feelingly.
After sigh of sympathy had com
pleted circle of the little group, Joe
Rollins, who in village estimate
WANT all there" asked what they
held them conventions for anyway"
"They meet once year to swap ser.
mons" replied the squire.
"Now l know why we get such poor
ones" said Joe, momentarily enlight-
ened. "Mr. Lamb never did amount to
anything in q trade. Youths Com
paniOn.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
BACK LIKE A
BOARD? IT'S
YOUR KIDNEYS

There's no use suffering from the
awful agony of lame back. Don't wait
till it "passes off," 1t only comes back.
Find the cause and stop it. Diseased
conditions of kidneys are usually indi-
Gated by stiff lame backs and other
wrenching pains, which are natures sig
mails for help!
Here's the remedy. When you feel
the first twinges of pain or expert
ence any of these symptoms, get busy
at once. Go to your druggist and get
a box Of the pure, original GOLD
MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules, i'm
ported fresh every month from the
laboratories in Harlem, Holland.
Pleasant and easy to take, they Instant
ly attack the poisonous germs clogging
your system and bring quick relief.
For over two hundred years they
have been helping the sick. Why not
try themP Sold everywhere by re-
liable druggists in sealed packages.
Three, sizes. Money back if they do
MEDAL" and be sure the name
GOLD MEDAL" is on the box ADV.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
WHEN HONEY BEE WILL STING
Persons Dressed In Black Garments
Should Exercise Caution in
Handling Insects.

Dark colors seem to be more often
sive to bees than light, and the per-
son dressed in dark garments should
show more caution when handling
are also Objectionable to them, and the
person recently returning from work
ing in the stable or whose perspiration
has distinct odor should show some
discretion in making himself familiar
around the beehive.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
LOOKING for a Telephone.

was looking for public telephone
and thought would find one in a large
office building. l walked through and
at last saw a public telephone sign.
and as 1 was in hurry I rushed
through the doors and found myself
in the middle of a saloon. The bar
tender looked up and said: "What'll
you have, miss?" / was so surprised
that I could not speak for a few min
utes, but finally said was looking for
a public telephone. AS was backing
out the elevator starter saw me and,
as he knew me, asked if 1 was in for
an eye-opener. I then decided my tele-
phoning could wait and rushed out
Of the MISUNDERSTANDING.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Keeping Pleasant.

Do not have so many irons in the
fire that you find it impossible to keep
sweet. 1t is all right to work. and to
work hard but the girl who WORKS 10
the point where her temper suffers is
OVERRIDING it. Among the many things
you find it necessary to do, remember
that one of the most important is keep
ing pleasant.-Girls' Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
More Comma.

Buddy, my five-year-old commanding
general, had spent the day at the cir
Gus, chaperoned by his mother, and in
the evening after 1 came home from
the office he was telling me all about
it. He paused in the middle of glow
ing description of the clowns and
everything to say: Now, daddy, give
me a penny and I'll tell you the else of
it"-Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
A Worthwhile Ambition.

Someone said concerning a success
full business man that the people who
came to his Office always went away
looking more cheerful than when they
entered it. Why not make that your
ambition. to live in such way that
those who come in contact with you
will go away with their faces little
brighter, and their hearts little
lighter?-Girls' Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03

the remainder Of the pit. AS slight
freezing does not injure the cabbage,
the covering of the pit need not be as
thick as for other vegetables.
Another good method of storing cab
bage Is illustrated in figure l. The
plants are pulled, roots and all, and
set side by side with the roots down in
shallow trench, the length of which
corresponds to the width of the bed.
The bed may be any width up to or
10 feet and as long as necessary to
hold the number of cabbages to be
stored. Cover the roots with earth.
Around the bed erect frame of rails,
boards or poles, or by driving row of
stakes into the ground so that an in
closure about two feet in height is
formed. Bank the outside of this frame
with dirt and place poles across the
top, covering them with straw, hay or
corn fodder. Make provision for re-
moving portions Of the stored product
from one end of the pit. This type of
storage is inexpensive and gives good
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
GREEN'S AUGUST FLOWER

In the good old summer time when
fruits of all kinds are getting ripe
and tempting, when cucumbers, rad
fishes and vegetables fresh from the
garden are too good to resist, when the
festive picnic prevails and everybody
overeats and your stomach goes back
on you, then Is the time for august
Flower" the sovereign remedy for
tired, overworked and disordered stom-
achs, a panacea for Indigestion, fer
mentation of food, sour stomach. sick
headache and constipation. 1t gently
stimulates the liver, cleanses the in
testines and alimentary canal, making
life worth living. Sold everywhere. Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
COMMON METHODS OF
STORING CABBAGES
Pull Roots and All, and Set Side
by Side in Trench.
Provision Should Be Made for Remov
ing Portions of Stored Product
From Time to Time-Good Re-
suits Are Obtained.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture
Heads of late cabbage may be cut
and stored in conical pits in the same
manner as beets. Another common
and very satisfactory method is to pull
the plants, roots and all, and place
them In long pit with the heads
down. A few heads may be removed
from time to time without disturbing
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
STORE ALL FARM MACHINERY
Greater Loss to implements by Elk
posure to Weather Than by Actual
Use of Them.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agrculture)
1t is said that exposure to weather
causes greater destruction to farm i'm
plements than using them. Avoid this
loss by storing all machinery and tools
! properly under shelter before winter
sets in.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
sians Pointed That Way.

Visitor-What makes you think Will
liam will grow up to be great doc
tor?
Fond Mother-While playing doctor
with his little playmates, he said:
'%Gentlemen. before we begin to oper-
late. you hold the patients hands and
feet, I'll get the three cents out of his
right-hand pocket
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
EFFICIENT FEED FOR SWINE
Dried Pressed Potato Fed in Combi-
nation With Rich Protein
Feeds Is Favored.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture.)
Dried pressed potato is very efficient
in producing rapid gains and high
finish when fed to swine, United States
department of agriculture Investigators
have found in a search for suitable
way TO dispose of Gull potatoes. To
give best results they must be fed in
combination with feeds rich in protein,
such as oil meal, fish meal and tank
age.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Imnorted soan in China.

There are said to be on sale In
Shanghai. China, more than 100 diff
ferent brands of soap A recent three
day investigation disclosed 81 separate
brands. OF this number 80 were of
Chinese manufacture, 20 of British,
five of American, four of Japanese,
two of French and one of German.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
KEEP HERD FREE OF DISEASE
Within Power of Large Per-
centage of Owners.

Experience covering period of
several years has proved beyond a
doubt that a herd of cattle can be
freed of tuberculosis, and kept free
and that the procedure is entirely
practical and within the mower of a
large percentage of owners.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Source of Fancy.

"Read any new fiction lately?" asked
the lady with the pink hat at the
health resort.
"No, must confess I have not" re-
piled the lady with the blue creation.
"What's wrong? Isn't you husband
writing to you while you are away"
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
SELF-FEEDERS VERY USEFUL
Feed Saved In Proportion to Gain
Made in Weieht-Hogs Ready
for Market Sooner

Fatten hogs on self-feeders as far
as possible. Hogs fed in this way
save labor, save feed in proportion to
the gain in weight made, and are
ready for market sooner than those
which are hand fed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
No Help.

"Now that the war is over l dare
say your boy can write you where he
is located in France
"Oh, yes" said Mr. Cobbles, "but
the information doesn't do me an
mother any good. He might just as
well say he's somewhere in France.
The names of them French villages
don't mean anything to people who've
never been outside of the state they
We're born in. Birmingham Age-Her-
aid.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
The Army's Efficiency.

Friend-How's your boy getting on
in the army, Mr.. Johnson?
Observation-Disclosures l feel great
sense of security. An army that can
make my boy get up early, work hard
all day and go to bed early can do any,
thing American Boy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
GEESE AND DUCKS IN DEMAND
No Meat Can Be Supplied More Cheap.
ly for Family Supply as Well
as for Market.

For the family food supply as well
as market purposes no flesh can be
produced more cheaply than that OF
geese and ducks. Indications are that
there will be a greater demand in the
future for water fowls.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
MUCH SOIL FERTILITY LOST
Prevent Erosion or Washing by Keep.
Ing Lands in Sod and by Filling
Gullies.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture)
Much soil fertility is lost every win
ter by soil washing or erosion. Put
a stop to 1t by keeping the billy lands
In sod, planting cover crop, under
drainage, filling the gullies with brush,
etc.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Now we've the chance
TO sing and to dance.
For we know the best way
is to love every day

"For they knew they were being CIV
en- the party because they hadn't grum-
bled about the days.
After the guests had all arrived and
had thrown off their wraps there was
great excitement for they were all
dressed to look like the different days.
all smiling and wearing great signs
which read like this:
"T'm happy Monday of last week.
1t rained but they all played and didn't
grumble about me-
"And another read, I'm windy Tues
day of the week before last. / blew
everything l could because Mr.. Wind
made me, but no one grumbled, ev-
eryone only laughed And so on! And
Peter Gnome's ball was great sue
cess"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
SOURCE OF REGULAR INCOME
Few Cows on General Farm Would
Enable Farmer to Build Up
Soil for Larger Crops.

A few cows on a general farm
would give the manager a source of
regular income and enable him to
build UP his farm so he could expect
larger crops.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Some Consolation.

While wealth will not buy happiness
it will purchase an imitation that is
calculated to deceive anybody but an
expert.-Border Cities Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Too Strenuous for Sue,

Sue-Wouldn't you like to be as
happy as a lark?
Prue-No, indeed. Think of the
time they have TO get up.-Marne Her
aid
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Always Hopeful.

"Your real fisherman is true op-
timist."
"What nOw?"
Look at Flubdub. The dock is so
high that his line won't reach the wa
ter"
Well?"
$50 he's angling for flying fish,
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
.DADDY,} nENNG
.E1FAIRY TALE e
PETER eNoME's BALL.
1yf1RY GRAIlAn BONNER

"Peter Gnome wanted to give
party. or rather, a ball outside his
cave. where two big dining-room ban
Quet tables were" said Daddy
"fhe tables were so big they could
be used for dancing and there could
be two bands playing. When one got
tired of playing the other band would
begin. and the different fairyland mu-
sicians could take turns about play
ing in the band.
Fairy Ybab would give the direc-
lions, but they would take turns so
everyone could enjoy the party.
"These were Peter Gnome's plans.
He wanted to give his ball for the
Day-IsNice club. They had
been keeping to the rules of the club
better than ever and had been telling
so many others about it, making 9th
ers feel that every day was nice and
that something could be done on every
day. So Peter Gnome thought he
should give them all ball. SO as to
let them all know how pleased he was.
"He sent around his invitations by
the Breeze Brothers. and asked every
one to come the following evening as
the sun went down. He explained to
Mr.. Sun that he was giving moon
light ball this time. so Mr.. Sun wasn't
In the least bit hurt.
Anyway, Mr.. Sun was tired and
sleepy and said that he knew his eyes
oouIdu,t nocsihIv boon nnop for an ayp-
ming party-they had never been able
to and he was too old chap to be
taught anything new.
$50 Mr.. Moon was invited and he
said he might be few minutes late,
but he'd surely come.
1.-THE ball began the following eve
ming just after Mr.. Sun had gone to
bed. The Breeze Brothers had taken
around all the invitations so they were
oil at the ball-the fairies, gnOmes,
elves, COLLINS, brownies, DOGGY family,
and old Mr.. Giant and Witty Witch.
at commenced in this way. Peter
Gnome stood outside his cave as all
the guests came trudging up the long
wooded walk which was an uphill
walk, but very beautiful one. They
passed ferns and little wild flowers as
they walked along and they picked
them up and brought them as gifts to
Peter Gnome.
1.-THE first guest to arrive though was
Fairy Princess Twilight Bell, for Pc
ter Gnome had asked her to come
little ahead of the others.
"As soon as she had arrived and had
made Peter Gnome beautiful bow,
and he had made her one he told her
to call to the guests to hurry.
"This he had planned to ask her to
do, so that all through the woods could
be heard the beautiful voice of Fairy
Princess Twilight-Bell, calling all the
fairies to the ball.
FAIRY Princess Twilight-Bell raised
her lovely little head and opened her
small red mouth.
Come to the ball. come to the ball.
All. ALL all,
Come to the BALI
Her lovely voice sounded all
through the woods and the little wood
land, fairyland people all came hurry
Ing along.
''They kept coming faster and faster
and more and more kept coming. Fairy
Ybab started the music, and she sang
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
A 300 INVESTMENT

Two story brick and cement business
block, nearly new. splendidly located. in
Okeechobee. Fla, one of the best growing
towns in the state. rs feet 'front.' four store
rooms first floor. Offices second floor All
always rented. Now bringing more than
200. Good reasons for selling. Price
$4,000. Address Pahokee Realty Co., Inc,
Okeechobee, Fla.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Definition of Alibi.

Teacher-What is an alibi?
Bright-Being somewhere where you
ain't.-Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03

Indigestion produces disagreeable and
sometimes alarming symptoms. Wright q
Indian Vegetable Pills stimulate the diges-
tive processes to function naturally. Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Willing TO Try Them

"Are you in favor of light wines?'
81 gezzo. never drank any
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
.BUSHEL MEASURE
MOST PRACTICAL
People of Forty Different States
Favor 1t as Being Most
Definite Unit.
SACKS ARE TOO INDEFINITE
Weights Per Bushel as Used by United
States Department of Agriculture
in All Estimates of Crop
Production.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture
Many growers, particularly in the
territory where field seeds and crops
are sold commonly by the sack, ask
why the United States department OF
agriculture estimates crop production
by bushel measure instead of by sack
or hundredweight. The reason is that
90000,000 people in 40 states of the
Union think, talk and measure by
bushels, the bushel being the standard
unit Of measure throughout this area.
The bushel measure is definite, and
congress and the states have stabilized
it and specified the number of pounds
of different commodities legally con-
shutting a bushel. The census figures
of crop production have all been re-
duced to bushels for all commodities
for which legal weights have been
used and doubtless will be used until
different unit of measure has been
adopted.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Often the Case.

Whites he In business?
Black-No, he is the president of
our Business Mems association.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Dirt <ggNS7NZy2M
oRAlt A.l@@iasSEANMA
cabbages Stored in Long Banks
Good Drainage Is Essential, but Dirt
Covering Need Not Be as Thick as
for Vegetables That Are Easily In
Jured by Frost.

results. Waen the heads are cut, leave
the roots in position, and In the spring
these roots will sprout and supply the
family with an abundance Of green's.
A large percentage of the cabbage
sprouts found on the market are pro-
duced In this way.
Heads bf cabbage may be laid in
rows on shelves in an outdoor storage
cellar but not In storage room In the
basement Of dwelling, as the odor is
likely to penetrate through the house.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Keep Away Verm,n

Keep hens free from lice and the
house free from mites.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Calling the Stenoq.

whats your push-button code?"
"One ring-my stenographer breaks
off conversation with the handsome
bookkeeper."
"Yes."
1.-TWO rings-she puts her hair into
place"
go on"
"Three rings-she finds her note
book. When 1 get thoroughly mad she
arrives."-Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
Both.

Manager-That was a roast you got.
Actor-Yes, 1t was a raw deal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-10-03
BusheI Weights Used.

are used by the United States depart
ment of agriculture in all estimates of
crop production:
Apples, AS pounds; beans (dried), 60
pounds; clover seed, 60 pounds; corn
(shelled), SO pounds; corn on cob, 20
pounds oats, 80 pounds; peaches, 4S
pounds; pears, 4S pounds; rye, SO
pounds tomatoes, SO pounds; grain
sorghum, 90 pounds; onions, 81
pounds peanuts, % pounds; potatoes,
60 pounds sweet potatoes, Sc pounds /;
timothy seed, 45 pounds; wheat, 80
pounds.