American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1919-04-04
The Fifty
Dollar Bill
BY FRANK CONDOR
(Copyright.)

Lnelf nulr lone up, lnelT BOlnS-uONh'
town shoes on, a severe and waiting
expression upon their ~countenances
and q wrist-bag suffering from com
plete emptiness.
They are waiting for their hundreds
of thousands of husbands to come
home from the Office and hand over
without comment a sufficient amount
of money to relieve the wrist-bags of
their paucity.
Mr.. James Joseph Sidell did not pull
down $50 a week, but through the
kindly help of a delayed expense bill,
the cashier at Wormer & Mulreavy's
broke the glad news.
you've got something extra this
week, Sidell," he announced, handing
over the envelope. THAT expense ac-
count of yours has come through with
the official Ok"
would you mind changing the fifty
into tens?' said Sidell placatingly.
"Ill need small money before night"
"There isn't another drop of money
in the building" answered the cash
Ter. "You can stop in somewhere and
get it changed"
Sidell stopped In the billing-room
long enough to flash the fifty and
dazzle O'Rourke. Then he inserted
the folded bill in his waistcoat pocket,
and O'Rourke amused several clerks
by skillfully extracting it and substi-
tuting in its place a mental and lowly
fye-dollar note.
At the moment O'Rourke changed
bills with Sidell, Mrs. Olive Sidel
ceased curling her hair on the sixth
floor of the apartment at the corner
of 10th street and Amsterdam ave
nue. and began to compute time.
Mrs. Olive Sidell was going down
town, and on the dining-room table lay
a slip of yellow paper on which was
written the names of seventeen ar
tlcles she wished to purchase.
81 need exactly eleven dollars ant
nineteen cents" said Mrs. Sidell cheer
fully.
James Joseph knew that Olive wa
waiting. He hurried out of the ofic
and turned into the tawdry and vul
gar place on the corner.
"Give me a lemon and SETTER" h
said virtuously.
The gentleman in ermine behind tn
mahogany placed the drink before hir
with a hard thought in his mind.
"Can you change a f%ifty-dollar bill2
inquired Mr.. Sldell casually.
"Do you think this Is a bnnkf" RI
torted the man, looking at James j,
seph peevishly.
81 thought you might have it." sal
James.
81 haven't" said the man.
Mr.. Sidell laid a nickel on the coul
ter. He had borrowed 81 frol
O'Rourke during the morning, and we
relieved to find most of it in his pock'
in the shape of small change.
He left the place in a slightly u
pleasant frame of mind, and wandere
toward the subway, slowly and hal
ingly, but with a general notion
getting into a train.
"There's no sense in taking home
f"fty-dollar BILL" he reflected. "Oli'
doesn't need 1t and she can't chanl
IL, anu, DeSIleS, II wv huNh " h"i
to a woman who is going downtoW
on a shopping tour. l must break II
bill"
Once again he entered a gilded d.
of iniquity. The man behind look
at him brightly as he cast anchor
rectly before the gold cash-register.
"Give me a milk and SETTER"
said.
"Give you a what !" said the ma
peering at James Joseph, and raisll
his voice as he said the word "whai
"a milk and seltzer," repeated N
Sldell.
The man sneeringly reached for t
milk bottle, and more sneerinl
sauirted the settler at the glass.
"Can you change a ~ifty-dollar bill
he asked firmly, and with his bl
V fastened intently upon the or
eyes of the barman.
"No; and, what's further t
ton, / can't play the bagpipes, and
can't initiate Eddie Foy, and | ca
make my ears wiggle, and there's
lot OF other things / can't do, II
is a saloon, not the mint"
C%restfallen and chastened, Jan
Joseph tore another nickel away FRI
the O'Rourke loan, and paid for I
milk and settler.
He began to feel a strange throbbi
within him as the milk closed W
the lemon in a death grapple, with
settler as referee; and when he he
within sight of the next life-say'
station. he hurried forward with
stride that almost betOkened entht
assn.
"Have you got something for a p
in ones stomach" he inquired,
the genial pirate behind the cas-
nodded and Immediately began S
ring a wooden spoon In a thick glt
Here's IoOkin' at you" he S
amiably. Have you got change TO
ifty-dollar billg"
"No, sir" replied the man. 9TH
amt change for a fifty in New Y