davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
QUEER KIND OF OLD CODGER
TybaIt Totter in Fair Way to Be Read
Out of the Aged Mems Pro-
tectiVe Union.

81 have reached the age of eighty
three years." admitted old Tybalt
Totter, land yet l do not think that
a man is only as old, as he-ee-hee !!
hee feels, and that all the comedy
widows are after me, merely because
they treat me with ,civility. l have
never had much cause to complain of
anybOdy's lack of respect for the aged
Il find that the aged generally get all
the respect their behavior entities
them to. And 1 have found that the
average busy citizen is not deeply in
terested in the trivial happenings of
1854 and thereabout.
GAS we'll as | can remember, the
weather back yonder was usually just
about; the same as it is now. l cannot
say that I am greatly surprised to find
proftGering going on, for to the best
Of my recollection a considerable pro-
portion of the people have hogged
each other at every chance they got.
But what is especially queer about me
is that l do not make a practice of
denouncing and raving at young peo-
pie for cutting the same fool capers
that.I did when I was their age."-
Kansas City Star.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Important to all Women
Readers Of this Paper

Thousands upon thousands of women
have kidney or bladder trouble and never
suspect it.
Women's complaints often prove to be
nothing else but kidney trouble, or the
result of kidney OF bladder disease.
If the kidneys are not in a healthy con-
dition, they may cause the other organs
to become diseased.
You may suffer pain in the back, head.
ache and loss of ambition.
Poor health makes you nervous, irrita-
BILE and may be respondent; it makes any
one so.
But hundreds of women claim that Dr..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root, by restoring
health to the kidneys, proved to be just
the remedy needed to overcome such
conditions.
Many send for sample bottle to see
what Swamp-Root, the great kidney,
liver and bladder medicine, will do for
them. By enclosing ten cents to Dr..
Kilmer & Co., Binghanton, N. Y, you
may receive sample size bottle by Parcel
Post. You can purchase medium and
large size bottles at all drug stores.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
FOGGY?
II Bilious, Constipated or
Headachy take
"CaScaretS."

Tomorrow the sun will shine for
you. Everything will seem clear, rosy
and bright. Your system is filled with
liver and bowel poison which keeps
your skin sallow, your stomach upset,
your head foggy and aching. Your
meals are turning into poison, gases
and acids. You cannot feel right. Don't
stay bilious or constipated. Feel splen-
did always by taking Cascarets occa-
sionally. They act without gripping or
Inconvenience. They never sicken you
like Calomel, Salts, Oil or nasty,
harsh pills. They cost so little too
Cascarets work while you sleep.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
PATONlC
PLACE NAMES THAT PUZZLE
Europeans Said to Find 1t Hard to
Master the Designations of
the Various States.
B FOR YOUR ACID-SToMACD

Down on the wharves they tell q
story Of how two British sailors were
rowing a skiff under the stern of the
batt1eship Ohio as she lay in an Eng
lish port. .... -...
''A no, a hatch, and TO-" said one
OF the limies, "Wot a ell of name fol-
a stip!"
We made very merry over Russian
and Polish names. When it came tc
the Balkans we were free to confess
THAI we didn't know whether the Do.
bruija was q river or breakfast food.
But it is now borne in upon us that
our own place names may not mean
much more TO Europeans than some
of thelrs mean to US.
Ealf the names of our states are
pure Choctaw to all but educated Eu
ropeans, and not much more to many
of those. A celebrated violinist said
he had long ago given up trying to
comprehend American geography or
Indian names, and simply bought his
railroad ticket to any place his man.
ager designated.
you ought to translate the1n,' he
added plaintively.
His host confessed:
1--WE can't."-Boston Globe.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
4E KNEW ONLY ONE METHOD
italian Wanted to Be Incorporated
and Went About Scheme in a
Practical Way.

"Mister," an Italian of middle age
addressed Lou Guernsey. 81 want to be
Incorporated"
By questioning the Italian, Lou
gained the information that his client
vas a man of odd jobs, moving lawns,
carrying coal, washing windows, etc.
you see," explained the client, 81
nm going to have some advertising
cards printed and 1 think it would
give an influence if 1 say on them l
am incorporated"
"But how" asked Guernsey, edo you
expect to have yourself Incorporated?
81 have no knowledge" was the re-
ply, '.but if it costs, will pay !"-Los
Times.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Beware Of Tmitatit

The entire machine is mounted on
truck wheels to make it easy to move
to the trees or logs, and from cut to
cut On a log 11ithout stopping the en-
CINE. For moving on the road, the
truck wheels are placed parallel with
the skids and the rig hauled straight
ahead The wheels turn on two
way spindle. You do not have to take
them off, but can change direction OF
wheel travel by merely taking out
pin.
The Ottawa can be fitted for saw
ing down trees. 1t cuts level with
surface of ground, thereby getting all
the timber and leaving no stumps
sticking up. An automatic friction
clutch stops the saw in case of undue
resistance. Two men can fall forty
to fifty trees a day in ordinary timber.
The whole outfit is compact, simple,
durable against a lifetime of hard
wear. 1t sells for low price and is
fully guaranteed for reliable opera
ton in the hands of every one who has
trees to cut down and logs to work up.
Full information and low factory
price to you can be had simply by ad-
dressing the Ottawa Mfg. Company,
2724 Wood ST., Ottawa, Kansas.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Have You Heard That

Canaries in their wild state are of a
striped greenish color. The yellow
canary is due to breeding?
The next airships to be built in
England are to be 694-foot length, with
a lifting power of s2.7 tons?
Certain Landlords in Scotland are
bound, under monetary penalties, to
marry at the kings command?
A ring is usually worn on the third
finger of the left hand because it is
the least used of all our fingers and
on the least used hand?
Prisoners in the Massachusetts state
prison wear gray uniforms. and not
striped clothes.
Spy suspects in the A. e. F. were
given baths in lemonade in order to
reveal any secret writing which they
might have written on their skins.
The acid in the lemon disclosed ''invis-
ible'' ink?
Artificial legs were used by Egypt
ians 100 years before Christ ?-Boston
Post.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
"See Other Side"

Vic works in downtown drug
store. The other day an elderly wom-
an perplexed him when she gave him
newspaper clipping and asked him
If he had any of that. He read:
"Eight-button length chamoisette
gloves, $1.49."
"You must be in the wrong shop,
madame" suggested Vic.
''This is drug store, isn't it," asked
the woman.
"Yes," said Vic, "but we don't sell
eight-button gloves"
Then the woman reached for the
clipping, turned it over and on the
other side was an advertisement for
snake oil.-Detroit News.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Why.

The new high-school teacher thought
that she was making a decided hit
with the older boys because they gath
cred around her to talk at many of
the intermissions. The principal, who
had noticed this, commended her on
her interest in the boys and then told
the boys how they should appreciate
her for this same interest.
Il guess you like to have her talk
football with you,'' he smiled.
"Oh, no." hastily corrected one Of
them. "She doesn't know any football.
We talk it before her and then we like
to stand near so we can hear all the
foolish questions she asks the fellows
about it,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
State of Ohio, City of Toledo, Lucas

State of Ohio. City of Toledo, Lucas
County-ss
Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that he is
senior partner of the firm of F. ]. Cheney
& Co.; doing business in the City of To-
ledo, County and State aforesaid, and that
said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUN
DRIED DOLLARS for any case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by the use of
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE.
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 9Th day of December,
(SeaD A. W. Gleason, Notary Public.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE is TAX
en- internally and acts through the Blood
on the Mucous Surfaces of the System.
F. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
F. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

ment of the Netherlands granted spe-
cial charter authorizing its sale.
The good housewife of Holland would
almost as soon be without food as with
out her "Real Dutch Drops" as she
quantity calls GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil Capsules. Their use. restores
strength and is responsible in a great
measure for the sturdy, robust health
OF the Golanders.
Do not delay. Go to your druggist
box of GOLD MEDAL HARLEM Oil
Capsules. Take them as directed, and
if you are not satisfied with results your
druggist will gladly refund your money.
Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on
the box and accept no other. In sealed
boxes, three sizes,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
KIDNEYS WEAKENING?
y BETTER LOOK OUT!

s. Kidney and bladder troubles don't
disappear of themselves. They grow
upon you, slowly but steadily, under
mining your health with deadly GER
tainty, until you fall a victim to in
durable disease. -.
Stop your troubles while there is
time. Dent wait until little pains be-
come big aches. Don't trile with dis
ease. To avoid future suffering begin
treatment with GOLD MEDAL: Haar-
lem Oil Capsules now. Take three or
four every day until you feel that you
are entirely free from pain. :: -.
This well-known preparation has been
one of the national remedies of Hol-
land,fer centuries. In 1896 the govern
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

pound my husband wanted me to try it
/ took it for week and felt little bet
ter. kept it up for three months, and
l feel fine and can eat anything now
without distress or nervousness. Mrs.
J. WoRTHL1NE, 2St2 North Taylor St.,
Philadelphia Pa.
The majority Of mothers nowadays
overdo, there are so many demands
upon their time and strength; the result
is invariably q weakened, rundown,
nervous condition with headaches, back
ache, irritability and depression = and
soon more serious ailments develop.
1t is at such periods in life that Lydia p:
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound will
restore a normal healthy condition, as
it did to Mrs. Worthline.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
COLD on CHEST
and SORE THROAT
ENDED OVERNIGHT
You Get Action with Mustarine-It
Drives Out Pain in Half the Time
it Takes other Remedies - It's
the Quickest Pain Killer
on Earth.

Stops coughing almost instantly; ends
sore throat and chest colds. over night.
Nothing like it for neuralgia, lumbago,
neuritis and to speedily drive away rheu-
matte pains and reduce swollen joints.
Mustarine is the original non-blistering
prescription that takes the place but is
fashioned mustard plaster. Use it for
sprains, strains, bruises sore muscles,
stiff neck, swellings, sore, painful or
frosted feet and chilblains. Be sure it's
Begy's Mustarine in the yellow box.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Influence. {:

The high school teacher was giving
a review biography of John Milton.
"His life influenced a great many Of
his poems" she told the class, "and
Milton had very unhappy life in
deed. His first wife and he were very
unhappy" She talked few minutes
and then asked: "Now what poem
did this unhappy. marriage cause him
to writer"
paradise Lost" came back from one
of the listeners.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Why Hurry2

One of the colored convicts at
Leavenworth had knocked the ball
over the prison wall in baseball game
and was tearing around the bases at
terrific speed, making hard work out
of an easy homer" Whereat one of
the boarders shouted:
Take yo' time, bo,' take yo' time;
yos in fo' life; take yo' time"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
EASY How TO SAW LOGS
And CUT DOWN Trees

Only one man, or even a boy, with
the improved ottawa Engine Log Saw
can easily cut twenty-five to forty
cords a day, and at cost of less thar
&c per cord. This machine. -%ZssEch out
does all others, mas a heavy, cross cut
saw driven by a powerful especially
designed 4-cycle gasoline engine. It's
a fast money-maker for those using it,
and does more than ten men could do,
either cutting down trees, saving logs,
or buzzing branches qUhize you rest.
When not saving, the engine can be
used for other work requiring power.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

SHINY AASoN ~
time. ! went to q
doctor and he said
I had nervous indi-
gestion, which ad-
ded to my weak
condition kept me
worrying most Of
the time and he
said if / could not
stop that, I could
not get well. I
heard so muchabout
Lydia E. Pinkham's
T.~o+oh1o Topo
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
The Supreme Sparkle.

snow that you are a high-salaried
picture star, you can wear diamonds"
Diamonds !" echoed the film favor
tie, scornfully. "Where are you go
ing to get any jewelry that will put
up display to compare with the cleo
trio lights at the front Of the house"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Applied KNOWLEDGE.

Our little boy asks so many ques-
lions and so many of them we are IN
able to answer, so we give him this
answer: That's just nature, son."
One day 1 asked him how he got his
face so dirty, and he said: That's
just nature, mother."-Chicago Trib-
une.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

81 hear you are studying elOcution."
81 am"
But you told me you intended to
devote your life to moving pictures"
True. But I'm going to be a di-
rector and I'll have to holler at the
actors"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Shave With cuticura soap

And double your razor efficiency as
well as promote skin purity, skin COM
fort and skin health. No mug, no
Shiny soap, no germs, no waste, no
Irritation even when shaved twice
daily. One soap for all uses shaving
bathing and shampooing.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Illicit Music.

"Pretty dry time at the club dinner
last night, eh, old man?'
"Well, the orchestra gave us a lot
of Meyerbeer. Boston Evening Tran
script.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

for Worms or Tapeworm and the druggist
will get it for you. 1t is the only Yermi-
tuge which operates after a single dose. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Nothinq. Like That Here.

: An English chemists synthetic milk,
which can be condensed or dried, is
made from peanuts, soy beans, sugar.
water and mineral salts from real
milk
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

. When money talks to the most of
Us it is at the other end of q long
distance phone.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
One Form.

"What is cafnouflage, pa?"
Staining your fingers with ink to
make people think that you are
writer"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
In a Low Key.

Joe-What was the tenor of his
talk?
Bob-There was no tenor to it; he
has a bass voice.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Never Judge ring by the jewelers.
name on the box

Acid Stomach Heartburn and Nausea
quickly disappear with the use of Wrights
Indian Vegetable Pills. Send for trial box
to 372 Pearl St, New York. Adv
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

Bookkeepers are merely figureheads
IN the business.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
HEALS RUNNING SORES

81 feel it my duty to write you letter
of thanks for your wonderful Peterson's
Ointment. 1 had running sore on my
left leg for one year. 1 began to use
Peterson's Ointment three weeks ago and
now it is healed."-A. c. Gilbrath. 1O3
Reed St, Erie, Pa.
For years l have been selling through
druggists a. large box of PETERSON'S
power In this ointment is marvellous.
eczema goes in a few days. Old sores
heal up like magic; piles that other rene
dies do not seem to even relieve are
speedily conquered. Pimples and nasty
blackheads disappear in a week and the
distress of chafng goes in few minutes.
Mail orders filled Peterson Ointment Co..
Inc, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
This WEAK,
NERVOUS MOTHER
Tells How Lydia E. Pinkhan's
Vegetable Compound
Restored Her Health.

Philadelphia, PA was very weak,
always tired, my back ached, and felt
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

A woman seldom means all the mean
things she says. =
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

To have friends, one must be
friendly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
Not So Bad.

as this son of yours you are talk
ing of, adolescentP' mercy on US,
no! He's merely cranky"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21
WINDOW SHADES

Buy drct. from fly. Save cost to retailers.
800 shade soc; s1.35 oil, csc; s1.65 revsble.
duplex green and white, SIPS. Send for
sample book of colors. Shades sent par. post
anywhere Transmitter Manfg. Co., 2021
SAMSON St., Philadelphia, Pa
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

Oh, girls, such an abundance Of
:hick, heavy, invigorated hair; a per.
.ect mass of wavy, silky hair, glorious
~ fluffy, bright and so easy to manage.
Just moisten a cloth with a little
'Danderine" and carefully draw it
through your hair, taking one smah
strand at a time; this magically re-
moves all dirt, excess oil and grease,
but your hair is not left brittle, dry.
stringy or faded, but charmingly soft.
with glossy, golden CLEANS and tender
lights. The youthful glints, tints and
color are again in your hair.
"Danderine" is a tonic-beautiier.
Besides doubling the beauty of the
hair at once, it checks dandruff and
stops falling hair. Get delightful Dan,
derine for a few cents at any drug
or toilet counter and use it as
dressing and invigorator as told on
bottle.-AdV.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1919-11-21

When it ache, asain-tr, Pixies ToOthachs Drops
The Holbrook news., 1919-07-04
LANDED IN THE STREET

A thin. sickly, little man en- tered one of the stores in one of our small towns recently and quietly seated himself in a con- venient chair. One of the clerks approached, and asked if he wished to purchase anything.
 'Oh, no," said the man, II just dropped in for few minutes. . After half an hour had passed,
 the manager of the store. be- coming curious. approached him and asked what could be done for him. Why nothing that know of," said the man. You see 1 have nervous prostration and the doctor told me to stay in a quiet place. Noticing that you do not advertise 1 thought this would be about the quietest place I could find" Let me tell you it was anything but quiet there for five minutes. The poor little man found himself in the street wishing he had landed on 6 feather bed. But the next week the store surprised itself with>z big display ad in the home paper.
The Holbrook news., 1919-07-04

time comes. Bear in mind that at least five hours should always elapse between meals so as to give the food ample time to di- gest and the stomach a period of rest before a second meal is taken. Then if you eat no more than you crave and take a req sonabls amount of outdoor ex- ercise every day you will not need to worry about your ap- petite. When the loss of ap- petite is caused by constipation as is often the case. that should be corrected at once. A dose ot Chamberlain's Tablets will do it. Adv.
The Holbrook news., 1919-07-04
ARIZONA LEADS IN
 HOME ECONOMICS

The State of Arizona leads all the states in the Union for enrolment in vocational home economics. In the vo- cational summary, the organ of the Federal Board for vo- cational education, for the month of May, appeared dia- grams showing the standing of the various states in the Union n-enrollment per pop ulation in vocational agricul- ture, vocational home econo- mics, and the trades and in- dustries for the year ending June 30, 1918. Utah leads the country in agriculture,
 and Arizona is eighth ahead of agricultural states such as Nebraska, Kansas, Indiana,
 Wisconsin. In the trades and industries Arizona is six teenth on the list, leading thirty-two other sta tes,
 among them California, and such industrial states as New York, New Hampshire and Maryland. It is in the mat ter of home economics that | Arizona has outdid herself, | for in this particular branchl she leads all the states in the