Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-07-13

QOn Nign onto i've months now 1HC
/ can't find out why the "Cheerio'
business. 1t spoils the taste o.
what's there and. take it from one
who's had his foot on the old raj
from Gillette to Sheridan, there's
not near so much authority in
what's there in The Swamp as there
might be. At least, not anything
to say "Cheerio" about.
Another thing, Bill, over here
you don't get drink OF water with
out fighting for it. OF course, there
are some who drink water and
there's some who don't-from this
angle it looks as if the water-drink-
ers would be on the increase back
home after July l. But over here
in this mans town-and it is all OF
that; don't make any mistake-is
you want = goblet Of water with
your meal you've got to get on your
war paint and 60 after it.
Hot Water and Salt.
Take it at breakfast time-which's
anywhere from 8 o'clock to II; ask
for water and the heifer with the
toached hair who's trotting your
trail will bring you a large glass OF
hot water and set the salt convenient
to hand. Cast your lamps over that.
Bill and boys; hot water if you ask
ed for a mountain oyster" which
everybody knows is steadier AMI
not a bad thing to start the day on
if you've jumped the reservation the
night before. But hot water in a
glass for breakfast! That's the only
kind of water they know about over
here; in your tub" before breakfast
or in a glass alongside the Did bacon
and eggs and the "kipper" when you
sit down to eat the first meal.
The other day / was having my
breakfast in one of the SWEETEST eat
ing houses on Piccardilly-blowing
myself, as it were-and there was an
American major just in town from
Coblcnz who was extending himself
just like I was. I sat back in my
chair with an expression on my
countenance like the last act Of
"The Two Orphans" just listening to
that yearling fighting for a glass
Of ice water with his smoked fish
and "porrige." Bill, that man never
wasted more heroism in front of a
machine gun nest in the Argonne.
And what'd he get? Listen, Bill:
He got a teapot full of boiling hot
water and the waitress gave notice
to the head guy right then and there.
She wasn't going to serve any more
mad Amuricans."
Rushing the Growler.
I'm no longer a mad Amurican,"
Bill. I'm just sorrowful. Only way
I can get a pitcher of ice water in
this town is to 60 to the ice house
with a pitcher in my hand-just
plain rushing the GROWER, as it
were-and l haven't the nerve to
ride three miles on top Of a bus
with a glass pitcher in my hand.
Honestly, I haven't! I've seen guys
riding a bus with a wooden leg;
but I've never seen anybody take
his seat on the hurricane deck with
q glass pitcher with the intent and
purpose, as the district attorney
says in his indictment, of going to
the ice house for pitcher of ice
water.
Which may be neither here nor
there, Bill. Be that as it may, as
the democratic spellbinder said when
he unbuckled himself from that
speech against old Senator Warren
down in your town when was re-
siding in your midst; what do you
think of "Are you there?" on the
telephones
Old Vaudeville Stuff.
OF course, this is old stuff with
the vaudeville circuit back in the
effete east; but out Wyoming way,
Bill, it may drag a laugh out from
under your suspenders.
You know: Get on the phone nice
and friendly-like and fight about 10
minutes to get your right number.
Then the short-combed rooster at