Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-04-24

The DR.. Foster -Undertakers' endorsement
incident again proves beyond doubt the higner
sense of humOr possessed by the average ROCK
SANDER than that of the ChieasOan FOR the
atter a Joke must be properly labeled and
bear the official seal, guaranteeing the public
that it is really joke and not fraud la-
we are driving at is that after receiving III
calls directing our attention to the undertak-
ers endorsement Of DR.. Foster we quit count
ing on that question to give our attention 10
the Chords fans who had discovered in later
issue of the paper that Coroner MaDeFFy had
also endorsed the health physician
But have you heard the latest! III n.
HensIey the florist, has phoned us and added
his endorsement to those of the coroner and
undertakes. in urging that DR.. Foster be kept
in office as health physician If the doctor can
keep the public health secure in lace OF the
zeal of his friends, surely no more can be
expected.
THEY ARE GOING TO USE OTHER DAYS AS
WELL AS SATURDAY.
Sir: Please permit me to present question
that is puzzling-and l must confess, troubling
me. 1t is this: Whether the fact that the
country is going dry July l mas any hlng To
do with this Unprecedented amount or interest
that is being displayed in regard to waterways
The government proposed to carry out Big
waterway program, then there are the MISSES
sppi valley enthusiasts; the state OF ILLINOIS is
to build a iakes-to-the-gulf waterway route
and it seems nearly every state in the union has
legislation OF a similar nature. Why, aga-n l
ask this unprecedented interest in water and
its ways? H. u u.
During our temporary absence our worthy
Weary Sub explained. casually enough. that
we foundered buttermilk. Not knowing eE-
actly the pains resulting from too mucn Dut-
termilk we decline to refute the statement, but
if our own memory of bygone days serves US
correctly our recent pain more closely resem-
bIed that which is universally recognized as
being due to '.Co much green apples! Yes. II
ma and n
While the bolsheyists were taking hold Of
Turkey they were odsted in Bavaria ana Hun
gary, according to reports. Thus the net score
Tor tie days Goings in bolshevism would ap-
pear to stand as two los aud one won, but II
really amounts to three defeats, for it's our
opinion that even the S. c. red terror can teach
Turkey no new tricks:
Row Would a Sky-Blue-Pink One Do!
louisville CourierJoGrnaN.
HELP WANTED-Girl, good colored for
general housework; good wages
Who is the steady churchgoer of the hill
district who is employed at the Rock Island
Bridge & Iron works who mot knowing that
one OF the children had found the badge ana
had fastened it on the mo hers dress without
her knowledge was considerably upset on his
arrival home the other evening when his wife
greeted him at the door wearing one OF those
No Beer, No WORK pms! Gl-lA'
Wise old Doc Brady, N giving a prescription
in his column, which he rarely does says: Il
am not afraid to present this formula, because
no matter what the p-oofreater may 90 10 It.
no harm can result" Thus Doc shows as thor
ough an understanding of newspaper Ills as cf
those the human body is heir to.
The lady book agent was wearing a we'd
ding ring and on the lit lie finger next TO 1t she
wore a small silver ring bearing the Significant
word liberty" Just when friend VIE was
wondering if that combination was a fashion
dine to the success of suffrage or the world
being made safe for democracy. the / b. a ex-
planned that she had recently obtained a
divorce.
II Cam Be Done!
CWashtng on d. c., Times).
FOR RENT-Strictly private large seven
window room; reasonable.
AS the communication Of women is sa- q 10