The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-01-15
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

trouble. He wanted to know if it was because I was a Baptist.
 Now. when it comes to bursting pipes and flooding I have tale to unfold which ought to bring water to every sympathetic eye, but l had made up my mind not to burden my readers with all the woes the freeze brought to my home.
 There is a strange fatality which dogs my plumbing. despite the fact that I had the work done under my own supervision and bought only the best material and fixtures. must be hoodooed, for Jack Frost never comes along without giving me lot of bother.
 I arose one morning recently when the mercury in my thermometer was playing hide and seek around zero and ventured into the bath room to find that a small Noachic food had descenc- ed in the night time and that the floor was one cake of ice I took it as a bit of good luck for I thought that the water had frozen as fast as it over- flowed and hence the dining-room oe- low would be safe.
 But I was doomed to bitter disap- pointment, for when 1 went below l found out that I had perfect skating rink in my big. airy salle manager, as the French call it. My boys had asked me the night before if the lake at the Country club was frozen over hard enough for skating purposes, but had answered in the negative.
 I remember back a few Christmases when just for curiosity, or rather to satisfy my namesake as to the differ ence between roller and ice skates, I had bought him a pair of the latter to put aside until Lakeview became a solid sheet of ice. had often bragged about skating on the famous Lake Salstontall during the winter when was doing some special work at Yale.
 I ought to have known better, but boy isn't geared up to the waiting habit sufficiently strong to fight against a real temptation. I forgot ali had treasured about boy psychology. and went to my work little dreamin 2 that one day would have to pay dear ly for failing to remember my own youthful days It is real funny how we get to think ing that a normal boy can keep out of mischief, when we know all the Curiosity is good thing. If man is bereft of it he had better stay out of the newspaper game, for real l good scent for news is based on nose that can smell it from afar.
 l As this is plumbing tragedy, can repeat what happened on the first freeze. Frank, Jr., went into the bath room and turned on the water anf | then let it freeze and tried out hi' 1 ice skates, and having learned all ht cared about them boylike, went al some other sport and forgot to turr off the water when he let in new supply to make his pond thicker. Il only cost me s2750.
 l I was sorry (when I walked in tht
 that he had lost his ice skates, as
 think probably he might have helpe.
 me to crack the ice. The rug was :
 solid block and the hardwood floor.
 had thick coat. Now. this is a tru'
 story. I went to work to break auI
 the ice jam in the bathroom and tn;
 dining-room at 7;30 a. m. and worked
 steady until nearly 2 p. m,
 If any human being had told m that a bursting pipe and freeze coul,
 produce as much ice as I dug out O the aforementioned rooms, I woul' have been tempted to have built al
 ice house, for l believe there woul,
 have been enough to carry me over a
 least one summer, and made me inde
 pendent of Frank Rushton. I got m
 hahhet and shovel and I tackle
 the job
 Sl will believe to my dying day tha somehow there was glue in the wate 4 for I never saw ice stick to ru like it did to mine. A bug in a r'l
 wasn't circumstance to the way 1 , which it clung. I never saw such a
 affinity in my life. It gave me q
 insight into how dangerous it is fo
 man or a woman to have 'an affin
 ity. A fellow can divorce his wifi } but nothing can separate him from hi
 affinity.
 I broke ice and carried tubful afte
 tubful out until felt that I was mis;
 ing my calling and that I ought apply to the ice factory for positio as one of their delivery men. Bt breaking up the ice was cinch
 what followed, for when the fire the room began to melt it then ts l deluge came and it was a fight to kee
 from being drowned out.
 , Sure 1 had on my rubbers but wh; I I needed was boots. or better still, n baptismal robes. I have been immer !, ed, but I can no longer truthful s claim that l have never been sprinkle 7 for when I had cleared up below looked above and the paper on u s wall of the dining room had balloS
 C.. oil Es