El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-05-10

fashion, but he had not wanted to be
taken seriously as a lOvemaker- Anc
not for a moment did he want TO be
regarded in the light OF a possible
FvadInE the Trap.
For him the art OF life is TO have
las much social distraction as pos
sible. without getting caught in what
J he regards as the matrimonial trap
So when the girl married his best
! friend. he did the handsome thing by
way OF a wedding present and con-
graduated himself on bearing
charmed life.
And he continued to quote the Kip
ling couplet, about the s1eed Win
. which a young man reaches the sue
! cess Eoal-if he travels alone.
But when he pauses to take stock Of
himself. from time TO time. he Is
! amazed to discover that he is no
nearer to success than when he first
/ committed to memory. the two kiplilnig
lines Eaking his chin in the chill
light Of a spring morning, he recalls
that the friend who married his girl
has Travelled a good deal further
Iahead Friend Benedict has devel-
Ioped into a very substantial citizen,
with an excellent Bradstrcet rating,
land an expensive hobby or two on the
side. like picture and rug collecting.
And the bachelor. still shaving, and
I deciding that the lines about his
mouth have developed into a very
Ideep pair Of narentheses. indeed. re-
members hearing someone say that
4 his friend owed much Of his success
to his wife. who was a wonderful
manager and had great social gifts
. besides.
And he IS conscious Of a sort Of
Idefrauded feeling as he looks back
Through the vista Of many hollow
Years in the raw light OF an early
spring morning. Years that he has
spent as a professional bachelor" re-
gardinE all women with a distrust-
I ful eve. and making them understand
in hundred little ways that while he
: is willing to do the right thing in
flowers, candy and theater tickets, he
is first. last and at all times matri-
monially immune
For the professional bachelor" diff
fers In kind from the bachelor-by-ac-
cident, or the bachelOr-by-neces sity-
The p. B." is not, as we say, "sus-
cepuble." and. conceiving every wom-
an to be a husband bunter. he sees to
IL that she knows Immediately upon
Introduction that is motto is Hands
Off"
No Longer Eligible.
Well our friend. the professional
bachelor" has escaped them all. and
he is now in the arly 40's. and moth
ers no longer regard him as an eligible
party He still dances. and he is still
longer causes flutterinEs-he IS out
Of the running.
And still, curously enough. he IS as
Tar away from that great goal of sue
cess as he was when he had Just left
conege and quoted so gayly: Down
to Gehenna, etc.
Other fellows. less prudent, who
took chances and got married seemed
20 have Travelled a good deal farther
along the high road TO success And
suddenly It begins 10 dawn on our
crafty friend that wife Is an asset
rather than a liability. and that this
travelling alone business is a delusion
and an expensive delusion. And by
the time one has finished keeping Up
ones position as a professional bach
eior' there is mighty little left IN the
bank
And that women. apart from their
mallEn sits as sirens. Delilahs and
temptresses. generally speaking. have
quite Taordinary ability In man
aging a mans affairs and rakinE
G hestnuts out OF the fire for him. when
his own hands prove too clumsy for
the business And that. all said and
done, being yoked TO one woman is
really more satisfactory than philan-
dering about with a dozen.
BY this time our friend "the pro-
fessional bachelor has finished shaw
Ing and noted with alarm that in addf-
ton to the wrinkles, his hair Is get
ting quite thin on the temples. and
that nobody really loves him And he
wishes. with all his selfish. ossified Z
Old heart. that he had never heard Of /
kudyard KiplinE and that silly rot
about Down to Gehenna. etc"
Ihen Joyously he remembers. as I
an antidOte. that someone else has
said "A hitching post IS much bet I
ter than loose rein" And with this I
In mind. the "P. B." rushes off and F.
marries in a panic the first woman .
who VIII accept him.
And every one wonders why. and B
The answer is-the effect OF the chill
light Of spring morning on his noble /
,ountenance as he SLAVES.