New-York tribune., 1919-01-10
HO, LANDLORD, A FLAGON OF
YOUR BEST WINEI


We have. recently fallen heir to a
fortune, Aunt Eleanor Ann, and we
fell all full of thrills and everything
Tomorrow we are going to start drink
ing our fortune u, as many gilded
youth has waded through his patri-
mony before, but we are going to
drink this fortune up literally, four
fingers measure at a gulp.
There arc not going to be any "wild
oats" in connection with this celebra-
ton. Instead, we shall take our usual
breakfast order of rolled oats and
cream. We have found that the rolled
variety are much more digestible than
the wild" ones and far cheaper.
We became an heir last night, when
the telephone bell gurgled mysterious
ly on our desk and voice said: "Is
that you, Boss? Well, this is Silvey,
you know, Silvey Burns. Say, l JUS
got lot o. fine Italian red wine, came
in this morning from the old country;
amt been opened in five years. Great
stuff, you know, big kick, porka Dio!
Pm gonna send a coupla O. bottles
down to you; how long will you be
there?
We are a person of few words and
decisive action. "Wcll be here until
the bottles come Silvey. Well meet
them at the door with brass band.
Show them in."
The Sporting Editor, who had over
heard our conversation, and who
already had his hat and overcoat on
preparatory to doing the subway glide
to his home on the Heights of Wash
ington, SUDDENLY decided he would stick
around and wait for the big show, and
he got very chummy right off. He's
that kind of pusson, Aunt Eleanor
Ann
In due time the bottle twins we're
ushered into our august presence, and
we took off our hat and shook hands
apart, as they were both dark COM
plexioned, of the some build and wore
the same style of co1ks on their heads
The Sporting Editor tried to get on
good terms with one of the bottles at
once, and kept asking if it had ever
run across Kid Chianti, in Rome, or
the Haig twins, in Scotland, or young
Gordon Gin, in London.
The bottle didn't say a single word,
and finally the Sporting Editor, getting
a bit exasperated, said: "Why don't you
take your hat off ?" Seeing the situa-
tion was getting dangerous we grabbed
of the office by the hand and took them
home. On Sunday afternoon we are 60
ing to have very serious talk with the
twins, at which time we shall decide
upon their future, but we are afraid
they are both destined to tread the
downward path.
Jimmy Wilde, the lillputian, "tangle-
foot" champion of the world is plan
ming to win the bantam and feather
weight titles within the next year and
will start his campaign as soon as he
has wiped up the ring with Pal Moore,
of Memphis who gained decision over
Jimmy in the international bouts at
London last month.
Wilde intends to come to this coun-
try within the next few months. which
will probably interest Gust" Willard,
our reckless heavyweight champion.
Although he refuses to mingle with
Jack Dempsey or any other heavy
weight who might accidentally lean
haymaker on his sensitive jawbone,
willard will no doubt grasp the oppor-
tunity to meet Wilde at catch weights.
AS the fyweight champion "Just" Will
arl would be about in his sphere. and
his battle cry would be. "SWat the
fyl"
Our old side kick Tom Cassidy, one
Of the X. of G. men who has done much
to tighten the burden of the boys who
went overseas to battle with the Boche.
has arranged monster boxing and
vaudeville show at st. Mary's Hall. in
Hoboken, for next Wednesday night
All the convalescent men at the hos
pital in Hoboken and any others who
care to come arc invited. as we'll as
officers, and the old sign. Everything
Free! Everybody Welcomed" will be
hano'ng over the entrance, Champions