St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1919-08-09


Every time they would start or stop
I'd nod to something until my neck
got as timber as piece of asparagus.
| finished up by boWing to the cows
out of the car window. We stopped
at little place | can't recollect the
name. | says, Conductor, what are
we stopping for. He says, the post
master just tagged the train and ne
has letter for the engineer. After
waiting for while | says, Con-
ductor, what are We waiting for?
He says the letter was from the en-
gineer's wife and he has gone up
town to answer it. l says, does his
wife live here? He says no his wife
lives in Mott. Well, says, this
trains goes to Mott, does it not! he
said it does not.
The conductor then told me thai
one day last week the engineer dis
covered red flannel shirt about a
mile ahead. He sent the brakeman
to investigate. When the brakeman
returned the engineer says, what is
it! The brakeman said it's a wash
out on the line. The conductor said
that when the line was cleared they
were ten minutes behind and i've un-
dershirts ahead. Then we stopped
at an empty spot with station on it.
1 says, Conductor, what place is
this? he says, it's a new place call
ed We-Wah. He said it's an Indian
word which means Where We Were.
l says, how can this be Where We
Were when we just came from
Where We We're to where we are
now. He says, from this place to
the last place is five miles. Well, /
says, have we been going from this
place to the last place? He says, no,
we just Hme from the last place to
this place, and this place is Where
We Were. Well, l says, if we Just
came flom the last place to this
place, and this place is Where We
We're, this is the first road l ever
was on where you can ride elsewhere
from anywhere and be nowhere.
He says, while this train stops every
where, it never stops anywhere un-
less its somewhere. Well, / says,
I'm glad to hear that, but, accord
ing to your figures, / left myself
where | was, which is five miles near
er to myself than l was when we
We're where we are now.
We have now reached Slideil.
That's fine place. The people
down there remind me of bananas
they come and go in punches. Sill
dell used to be noted for her tough
people. Now she is noted for hes
tough steaks. Well, / certainly get
one there. When the waiter brought
It in 1t was so small I thought. it
was crack in the plate. i said,
waiter what else have you got? He
brought me in two Goldfish and one
'melt. l said, waiter have you got
pigs feet? He said no, rheumatism
makes me walk that way. l said,
low is the pumpkin pie? lie said
t's all squash. The best l could get
n that hotel was soup sandwich.
after the table battle the waiter and
signed an armistice. / then went
'ver to the hotel clerk and asked for
. room. He said with or without a
,ed? 1 said, with bed. He said,
don't think I have a bed long
enough for you. / said, well, I'll
i'd two feet to 1t when / get in it.
1e gave me lovely room on the
op floor. 1t was one of those rooms
hat stands on each side. If you :.
Happen to get up in the middle of
he night you want to be sure and
,et up in the middle of the room.
That night / dreamt l was eating
lannel cakes. When woke Up half
Il the blanket was gone. / must
ave got up on the wrong side Of the
'ed, for next morning had an awful
eadache. l told the manager about
t. He said, you have rheumatic
aims. / said, no, / think it is ono
I those attic room pains. / mad to
et UP at a. m. in the morning so
hey could use the sheet to set the
reakfast table.
/ saw some signs in the Sliiell De-
artment Store window that read
Ike this: Come in ami ge,s our
aides skirts; over one-half off. An
ther one: See our ladies stockings
nd look no further. And another:
lens trousers, cut one-half. Then
here was large sign tia. read:
Why go elsewhere and ga: cheated;
ONE in here.
Shdellians Attention.
When you read this remember, an
nion can make you cry, but they've
ot yet discovered eny vegetable that
an make you laugh, so its up to me
D kid you.