davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
We SHOULD PAY CHEERFULLY

NATIONAL honor required the passage
\ ' OF the wheat bill. Through the action
Of the House on Saturday Uncle Sam will
keep his pledge to the farmers.
II is going to cost a lot of money. but
the money should be paid cheerfully. Uncle
Sam has the reputation of being a good
sport, and he should keep that reputation,
There is a hint of niggsrdliness in the
amendment giving the President greater
authority TO restrict importstions. 1t is an
implied suggestion that he exercise that
authority.
Consider the case az II stands. The coun.
try buys the wheat at the price promised
the farmers in a time of stress. The origi-
nal transaction was a perfectly legitimate
one. 1t was also a wise one, since no man
knew what the future would bring forth
and contingencies had to be provided for.
I. The country will sell at the market price.
We make bold TO declare that the market
price should be based on world production
in the interest OF the consumer, and that
II should not be boosted by any restriction
OF importations whatsoever. The farmer is
protected by the fixed price on his crop
which it is admitted now is more than the
crop will be worth.
Every cent saved by the government By
restricting the quantity of wheat on the
market is vlrtsally a tax OIL bread. every
cent OF which will be paid by the consumer
We danced and we are willing to pay the
piper. Let us have cheap bread.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
TAX VALUE OF A BABY

Under the old law a man with a baby
" was entitled TO an exemption Of $500
in reckoning his taxable income, whether
the baby was two years or two months old
at the end Of the year covered by his in.
come statement.
The internal revenue collector has de.
clded that under the new law a father may
claim exemption for only so much OF 5000
as is represented by the fraction OF the
year during which he has had a baby, II
the child U.s. six months old. he may add
800 to his exemption, and he may add
only $50 il the baby is three months old.
The government is apparently going 20
gei as much money as possible out of the
TAI law. The increase in the rate on small
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
AN OMNIBUS MIRACLE

ADMlRING wonder is mingled with dis
L may at the news that Secretary Daniels
IN Washington talked by telephone with
President Wilson 500 miles off the New
England coast. what. indeed. hath God
wrought, when His mystery Of the wire
less is susceptible Of such miraculous en-
ployment. But where. alas. is man head.
ing with salt-sea telephones? Not toward
a Nirvana Of unruffed calm, one may be
slarmingly sure.
The charms OF a wet sheet and a flow
ing sea" and a phone receiver are dis
ouietingly open to debate. The tired buzz
ness man may conceivably become in
curably weary when the cal. Longitude
40, latitude so. Msuretania." mistakenly
buzzes, The detachment and splendid
.solation' Of sea life is Knocked with mod
srnity under a clamorous system Of office
calls and Joseph Conrad will be com.
PEELED TO date all his romances to guarantee
picturesque verify.
The hendish pra ctice Of interrupting the
modifying appeal of the dinner table is
now capable of extension TO hip mess,
Embarrassing Guestionnaires from home
may crack and splutter in many a prosaic
deck booth. Byron's pretty press-agenting
about the deep, on whose azure brow"
time writes no wrinkles can no longer
he extended to include the front of sea.
faring man. Lined foreheads on ocean
voyagers arc in prospect. Mr.. Wilson him
self may have started the procession II ,ir.
Daniels told him what Senator Sherman
said.
And what of the rubber.stamp farces
that will begin with cabin phone scenes.
But at this point it is advisable to refrain
from draining to its dregs the urn OF
bitter prophecy"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
You Cob!

To know the boys in uniform there's been
full many a chance e.
This side of hell and heaven. and on the
way to France.
From the City Of the Golden Gate to our
Atlantic strand-O.
From border South to Canada, and then a
stretch O. land-O,
You'll find here, there and everywhere.
and. always on the job.
or hue so blue. and natty, too, the MILDLY
of the Cob!
The doushboys in the trenches through
hell fire held the Hun,
Those dashing devil-dog marines, they kept
him on the run;
But for securing deeps for super subs
swelled out with dynamite.O.
Sweeping seas for mine. fields hottest day
or icy night.O;
No work you shirk, where peri!s Turk, your
name is on the job,
You splashing, slashing, rough-tough stuff
My word. some bird, you Cob!
Ashore he cuts an awful swath, this flap
ping, %strapping boy,
He's never short on duties, but he takes
his fll of JOY;
He hugs the mast, and when it blows he
hugs the slippy deck-O;
He hugs his gun, he hugs his girl-he may
hug yours, by heck-O-
At making love to ladies he's a topper on
the job,
You'e got 'em all skinned there for fair,
you grinning, winning Cob!
It's like a busy beehive, this navy o. the
blue.
They're everlasting at it, no matter what's
to do.
A singing, kicking, fighting bunch, not
angels but just memo,
Each loyal to his outfit, an true to U. s.
NO.
oh, you're sea dog, lsnd.dog. demon dog
you're a cracker on the job;
We didn't know we loved you so, but
you're in our hearts. you Cob!
DORA ADELE 7HOEMAKER.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

the %innovator may die almost in an odor
OF sanctity. Give us a few years more
and the political philosophy OF Doctor
Walke will not be radical at all. but con-
ventional, trite. Even today II Is not pre-
cisely funny.
And as to garb. was the venerable dress
retormer of oswego a 1.-THE as m%irth-pro-
voking as William Hohenzollern In medi-
eval silver mail? Comparisons like this are
tones to the sense Of proportion. and per-
haps they are responsible for the current
almost benignant biographies of DIR. Mary
Walker. Their tone would have been un.
imaginable forty years ago. when an earlier
generation was ~siggling over an extrars.
CANT exhibit OF feminine folly
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
Member Of the Associated Pres.
THE PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED

CENATOR BORAH asks that the people
~ decide the league Of nations question,
and grsndiloquentiy eXclaims that there
is not A SUPERNATURAL government which
can be created by the wit of man so we'll
calculated to take care OF this republic as
the conscience and wisdom OF the hundred
million people to whom a loving God has
Entrusted its keeping and its destiny"
SO far as the evidence shows. all the peo-
pie. save a few Senators and members Of
the House, have already decided that the
league Of nations is what they want to
insure the future peace Of this nation as
well as that Of the world.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
DIR. WALKER AND THE TIME LEAyEN

Tn SPITE Of the stage and professional
! ~after-dinner speakers, moi all Jokes are
slong-lived. DIR. Mary Walker, who died
Saturday at the age Of eighty-seven. had
an admirable opportunity to note their
eyanescence. Eccentric to the end she re.
manned In her persistent adherence to male
attire, but unquestionabiy she ceased to be
comicsl in the conspicuous sense.
Freaks have glutted civilization since
she irst started 1t. No propaganda is too
wild to be unchampioned in a revolutionary
era. and life is too highly spiced nowadays
Tor most Of us to be moved either to riot.
Gus indignation or hilarious mirth over the
spectacle OF an old lady in trousers Amid
. surfsit Of sensations, DIR. Mary Walker
Of late years counted for very little.
Moreover. her crusading for woman suf-
frags some time ago ceased 70 be food for
sNtire. A pioneer is only abnormal 10
contemporaries. II he or she lives long
oaeuglfftime brings In his rcvenges and
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
What Do You Kno,U?
QUIZ

1. What political Office was held by Kurt
Eisner, who was assassinated in
Munich last week? n
2. Who said There never was a good war
or a bad peace?
>. What was the nationality of Hudson. on
whose discoveries the Dutch based
their claims to New Amsterdam?
4. What celebrated English novelist wrots
under the name of 'Currer Belr,Y
5. What is a panacea?
6. Who IL Rufus Daniel lsaacs?
7. Who were the Seven Sages OF Grescsf
s. What kind of government is a timocrscyi
.. What is the capital Of Bermuda?
10. What is the meaning Of the word sep
tentrional?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
Another Problem Solved

''The Story Of a Man and Woman-Utter
Strangers Forced Together by Circum.
stances Living In the Heart Of the African
Jungle without Communication with the
Outside World-He n modern American,
strong and dominating. She an English
Aristocrat, independent and unsfraid."-
From q Book Advertisement,
We suggest that the league of nations
give that influential couple the mandate Of
the African hinterland or hunterland or
whatever it is. Let them run things: II
will save one of the great colonial powers
a lot OF trouble.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
THE

WHEN the convoy erawls on a long
w white road,
Straight to tho blazing line,
While the drivers nod as they guide their
On where the star shells shine.
If a "two.ten' drops with a roaring crash.
The big trucks cease to roll, 81
And the c. Q. growls as he" views the
And swears at the ~ten.foot hole, (
Job for the engineers
Bring up the wrecking crew.
Shovel and pick will do the trick.
Then We can go on through"
They're on the spot, you bet;
Soon, with a clash Of gears,
We're on the way, for the roads o. X.
Fixed by the engineers!
When the storm troops wait at the river
banks,
And each stone bridge is blown.
And the streams too deep for the fat old
tanks, . .,
And pontoons must be thrown
Where the water boils with the shell and
shot, ',-
It's engineers. 'toot sweet"
They will lose one.half the men they've got,
But build that bridge, complete.
Job for the engineers
Never you mind the loss.
Fritz has a hate, but the troops can't
wait: So
See that they get across,
You won't get no rewards,
Hear any shouts or cheers,
Bring up your mob, for here's a Job
Job for the engineers"
-Berton BraIey. in Golfers.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
Answers ito Saturdays Quiz.

/. Emile Coffin is the man who attempted
to XIII Premier Ciemencesu.
2. Four farthings make a penny In English
money,
3 Tho Rumanian name for Rumania is
Romania. ri
1. Cock and bull story" is supposed TO be a
corruption OF "concocted and bully
story"
5. Blssextile is another name for leap year.
6, The hatband OF Richard Cromwell was
the crown which was too tight for
him TO wear with safety. Hence the
expression, "as tight as Dicks hat
band" '. 80
I. The fret name Of Lord Macauiay was
Thomas.
s. Jacob Ruysdael was a noted Dutch
landscape painter. His dates are
1626-16s2. .
.. Ambrosia was supposed to be the fsod q
the Greek gods.
10. The only American President whose sos
also became President was Joha
Adams. John Quincy Adams w.
President from 1925 "a, 1sz5.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
RUBBER HEELS
Spring in a Holl.Top Desk

WHEN spring comes w our elevator
w shaft,
And pussy-willows purr on fling cases,
When ofice.boys. with surging blood are
4. daft,
And mask their deviltry with pious
When the cashier. behind his silded grating,
Stamping those checks NOT MORE
THAN TWENTY DOLLARS.
Lapels a jonquil, and while Illuminating
Decides to buy a dozen striped soft COL
lars.
And blonde stenogs, pink.nsiled and absent.
minding.
Address to Mrs. Henry EdCdrdS, ESQ.
All then. d~elirious and misunderstanding
The spring comes up to our old rolltop
desk!
Al THEN the young and siddy, of both
"A sexes,
See strange illusions and rich mysteries!
See daffodils leap up in card indexes,
And blue flames darting round type
"tllCl hCys'
The gurgle of the Office drinking fountain
Is plashy like a brook across some lawn,
And Bill the Elevator, that vast mountain.
Is dancing in his car like any faun.
Behind each ~soisette blouse bright hearts
are pounding,
Gum arabic performs an arabesque.
And auditors see totals most astounding
When spring comes to our old rolltop
desk!
TIME billing clerk, whose heart is efer.
L vescence,
To former disappointments bids defiance:
Ciean-shaved and barbered DER with lilac
essence,
He dreams Of some entangoIng alliance;
And coming to his daily task, which bores
him.
lie smells delightful. fragrance of ben.
zine
For Jane, the Office girl, who Just adores
him.
Has brushed and cleaned the addlng-up
machine.
The telephones are trilling out like sky.
larks,
And in the safe you'l hnd-o thought
grotesque!-
A bunch of violets. Yes, there are high
lsrks
When spring comes up to our old rolltop
desk,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

After Congress provides land for return
ing soldiers there may be difficulty in get
ting the boys 70 work II. After we have a
merchant feet OF a size worthy OF our coun-
try we may have d~ifhculty in getting Ameri-
cans enough to man them. And after we
have all been as pessimistic as we want 20
be matters win straishten themselves out.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
Matthias


"dVNTTTNS TTEDtT XVI
Cool Calculation told the German Ma
tional Assembly at
Weimar that the government was pursuing a
policy of cold reason. Doubtless. 1t was
cold reason that prompted the Germans to
quit lighting the moment they knew they
were licked. 1t was cold reason that caused
them TO give up their feet. 1t is cold reason
that backs their fulsome attentions TO the
army OF occupation, 1t is the cold reason
that carns the scorn of all men OF every other
race in the world that awaicns suspicion
that their hearts are unchanged that warns
free men everywhere TO end the menace for
all t'I1r
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
Eupeptic Statesmen

Exact scientific observation. by means OF
the Roentgen rays has proved that a pleasant
frame OF mind 10 favorable to digestlon.-A
restaurant advertisement.
Who can blame Senator'S Fall and
Borah for declining to attend a dinner
which they could not possibly have been
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

New York labor unions have voted to
strike on July !. mo eer-no work. is
their slogan. But lots may happen before
that time, The saloonkeepers may have edu-
Gated the drinkers 10 do without beer-for
the beer glasses are growing beautifully less
as the days go by.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

II the league Of nations could automati
cally take possession OF all coal and iron In
disputed territories half OF it's troubles would
be over. Not ethnology but mineralogy is the
cause OF duarrels over frontier lines.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

The man who can fiji out hi. income
tax blank unaided will be apt TO regard the
problems before the Paris conference as conf
paratively simple.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

There are seven government bureaus to
look after the returning soldier-and when
ever he wants anything the chances are six
TO one that he'll strike the wrong place.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

The protest OF the United Mine Workers
to Governor Sproul against the head OF the
Department Of Mines and Mining seems 10
betrsy an intention to put Button in a hole.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

\ hundred and eighty miles an hour is
the latest a~lrplane record. Mr.. Wilson ap.
pears TO have wasted an awful lot Of time
on the George Washington.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

At least one anarchist in Paris has come
to the conclusion that it is unwise to buck
the tiger.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

MAY we not venture the belief that Mr..
Wilson found the show in the Old Salt Thea
tire all 10 the mustard and full OF pep:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

Governor Sproul does not believe in
speaking too softly when there is possibility
OF hs wing 10 uEe the big stick.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

Senator shcrmanz idea seems TO be that
IL the President speaks in Boston he Is liable
to spill the beans.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

The shade Of Mr.. Washington will be
tickled to know that he is still first i'm the
hearts of his countrymen.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

Come. my little heaven 80 said Mr.. Dice
as he shook the bones of government owner
shin
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

Thcro seems to be growing belief that
senator Borah's name is a syllable too long
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

The assassin of Bavaria's Premier be-
lieved himself ordained TO issue Deaths Kurt
summons.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
The X.Raise

The kind Of X-rays that even the un.
scientific can understand is a ten-dollar
ylise In salary. SOCRATES.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

DCRING our last meal together we con-
- versed at length concerning Ludendorff's
part In the war. the beginning OF C-bost
warfare, the moral collapse Of the west front
and the attitude of the Kaiser. We shared
this meal with the commission in friendly
circles, from which we learned many inter
estinE' facts. We were surprised TO learn how
generally known and recognized for a long
time had been the baneful influence OF the
men who were mainly responsible for the
needless protraction and the unhappy end
ing OF the war. ! was astonished that
there were so many who knew these
facts. who knew the calarnitous effects
OF our naval policy and who. moreover,
recognized what tremendous mistakes re-
suited from the unreliable temperament OF
a monarch who has not a single friend In
his misfortune and in his dishonorable exit.
Al this is a subject of surprise and painful
contemplation. But we all realize that the
arbitrary policy of Ludendorn, who enslaved
the press in an unprecedented manner, who
built up an unstable ediice OF authority and
supported II with every means in his power
long after the foundation had become I'M
stable-we realize that this had sealed not
only our own mouths. but the mouths OF
many others. At last. II was 100 late to save
the situation, and here we are at the con-
ference table In Spa, facing a conqueror
who knows no mercy.
At last we are on the way homeward
through Belgium. Then we catch sight of
the German colors and as We draw nearer
Berlin soldiers MI up the trains, We arrive
at the Potsdam station nine hours late.
Thousands OF placards are posted every
where, bearing the words welcome Home"
/ am suspicious and inclined 10 suspect that
IL betokens mostly the desire OF the shop
keepers displaying these signs TO get the SOL
diers' trade. But no! Even the little green
stand near the small house with a tower
on Potsdam Place has a sign between two
little fags wreathed with pine boughs: wei
come Home"-it stands directly over the en-
trance OF tho little booth. and so my Journey
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24
That Visit to Chowderyille

Nothing has ever caused New York more
chagrin than the Presidents ~entangling
alliance with Boston. The island in the
Hudson Is busy explaining how It came
about, and an ingenious correspondent Of
a New York paper, after spending bitter
hours with Mercator's projection, cables
the following explanation from Paris:
His selection Of Boston as a landing
port came about in this way: His at.
tention was called to the fact that at a
certain point on the Atlantic, several
hundred miles off the American coast,
his ship would be eaui-distsnt from
Hampton Roads. New York and Boston.
How fortunate that no one called his
attention TO the fact, when his ship was
passing the Azores, that he was nearly
equi-distant from st. Helena, the North
Pole and Boise, Idaho. What a vexation
for Senator Borah II he had decided to
land in Boise!
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

Reed shows the way tile Boishevist wind
blows.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

THE misleading rame "armistice commits
i sion gives a false impression Of the real
task that faces us. The armistice proper has
already been concluded. We have laid down
our arms and the conditions imposed are
known. We are now discussing the carrying
out of these conditions, the possibility OF
complying with them and the requests 10
change provisions that cannot be observed.
Our attitude is that the war is really over
that a resumption OF hostilities after our
complete military and political collapse lis
not even a remote possibility. quite apart
from the fact that the German nation could
not be persuaded under any circumstances to
resume fighting. The Entente. on the other
hand, takes the position of a temporary VIC
tor, who has to deal with an opponent that
that is. to be sure. in the midst of a politi-
cal upheayal. but not yet ready to surrender
unconditionally. our enemies are trying TO
assure themselves in a military way against
a possible Gernan spring offensive. We Keep
emphasizing that inasmuch as the German
troops have laid down their arms. the con-
ditions of the armistice that remain impor-
tant are only those OF an economic and tech
meal character. and that these must be CON
sidered because some OF them cannot be car
ricd out except at the cost of creating chaos,
famine and misery in Germany.
The excitement of the Belgians Increased
evety moment, News began to come in that
the mob had started p~illaging at Liege and
Verviers. Mobs even assembled In peaceful
Spa. forming professions that marched
through the streets, with Belgian flags. sing
ing the "Brabanconne"-the Belgian national
air-and the "Marseillaise" and organizing
an outbreak against the so-called friends Of
/ Germany.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-24

THE French. Americans. Germans and
courteously. Many OF those who are better
acquainted shake hands. Every language il
heard. including much German. No one Ia
addressed by his rank and the title Mister"
is often dropped. Everything IL ready in the
auditorium OF the hotel people stand around
smoking cigarettes, waiting for the session
TO open. II is a few minutes before 10
o'clock. We form groups and talk Of indif-
ferent matters.
At last everybody enters the hall. General
Nudant takes his place in the middle Of one
OF the long sides Of the great table. He had
entered with short steps with two fingers at
the vizor OF his cap. ~saluting the gentlemen
present. "Bonjour. Messieurs.' 4 slight bow
intentional thea trical gesture he throws his
cap upon a side table. The English. French
and Belgisns sit on either side. We note
the typical English head OF General Hakins.
The Belgian general. Delobbe. appears filled
with quiet happiness over the liberation Of
his country. The American general. Rhodes.
has an air of Indifference. He sits next to
General Won Winterfeldt across the table
from Nudant. Beside him are his officers,
while on the other side of Winterfeldt are
the gentlemen of the German commission,
Major Brinkmann. Captain Schaller, Captain
Won Cnger and several others. The sub
committees of the different countries have
grouped around smaller tables. We note the
railway committee with the chief of the field
railways and several privy councillors, and
Count Poducci of the finance committee and
Spinnes with the gentlemen OF the coal COM
mittee. There are so many details to be
settled that experts must be left TO handle
them.