davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
HEARD OVER THE TELEPHONE
City Editor Gets a Little important
Information Concerning a Certain
Uriah Unison.

Here's a bona fde telephone con-
versatiOn.
$40"
Hello"
81 gotta little adj for the paper"
"An advertisement
"No. It's about a friend of mine."
"Oh. I'll be pleased to take it."
Just say Uriah Unison is convass-
cling"
"Con-vASS-elling?"
"Yes.''
'What kind of a business is that?"
sit isn't a business. It's sickness"
"Oh. I'm so srry."
"Yes. He's soldier boy"
"Well, that is too bad"
"You see, he was hurt and now he
is con-vass-elling."
"Oh. l see, / see."
"Yes. He's con-vass-elling after
being on the casualty list
Youngstown Telegram.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Ey sEZs!l;S ;JI=;;I,N5
Sounded Like Destruction.

A large canteen connected with a
certain Industrial enterprise in a coun-
try town has its kitchen in such close
proximity TO the dining room that the
clatter of dishes becomes at times
quite overpowering.
Father had taken little Robert with
him TO lunch. After listening to the
clash and clatter of the carelessly
handled crockery, Robert asked: ia
Their, don't they want to use the dishes
any longerg'
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Here's Brand.New Excuse.

Mrs. Brighton Earle met him at the
door with the usual scornful express
sion. Married men please recall.
I'D like 10 know" she said, in meas
ured tones full of icicles and corrosive
sIblimate. I'D like to know where
are those groceries l sent you fort"
Swapping his fingers as one who
lapses mentis, Earle replied Sob
bingly:
DANCED If this Fl c L thing isn't
getting my goati l stopped at the
bank and left 'em in the safe deposit
box r'-Richmond Times-Dispatch.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Nat Satisfied.

Hotel Clerk-And how did you like
your room. sir?
Disgruntled Guest--1t was most I'M
satisfactory. There was no gas with
which to asphyxiate myself, no bath
in which could drown myself and no
rope fire escape with which to hang
myself-and all / came here for was
to commit suicide.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Demands Pie.

Bacon--I see for testing screw
threaded machine parts for extreme
accuracy apparatus has been designed
that projects magnifled pictures of
them on a screen.
Egbert-It won't do as public at
traction unless they introduce some
sort of a pie into the picture.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Safe.

81 gave up cocktails and rouge gust
to please him." sobbed the fair plain
tiff, formerly of the "Follies."
"Order in court" cried a bailiff as a
sympathetic juror groaned aloud.
Look here" said the defendant ia
his lawyer. I'm afraid we are going
to lose this case"
Don't worry" answered the lawyer.
''The fellow who grOaned is a man
about-town. The other jurors are old
fashioned men, "-Birmingham Age
Herald.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Waverinn Confidence

Figures won't liel" declared the sta
tistician.
Maybe you're right" answered the
mild-mannered citizen. "And yet, some
how, can't put implicit faith in the
numbers that go up ON a taxicab regis
ter"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Little Dorothy-ah. mamma, Bill
has taken a nickel out of my bank!
Mamma-Bill, what did you take
nickel out of sisters bank for?
Small Bill-'Cause l touldn't Diet q
dime out from it,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Experience.

Miss Sentiment--Were you ever dis
appointed in love?
Eligible Widower-Two and half
times.
Miss Sentiment-Two and a half
times?
Eligible Widower-Yes, twice mar
ried and once REHABILITATION Post.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Kenosha-Hopes of capturing the
three bandits who robbed the Amer
lean Brass company safe here of $780,
600 and killed Policeman Tony Pinge
tore were revived when Chief of Police
Owen O'Hare was called TO Toledo
to investigate the arrest of suspect
there. 1t is declared that he has $780,
600 of stolen bonds in Toledo banks.
and Chief OHare believes it is a live
clew
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
ExactIN.

"a keep telling my boy to aim high,
impresslng on him that mot failure
but low aim is crime"
81 see; in teaching the young idea
to shoot you use a Maxim"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Mean Thing.

Edith--How do you like my new pho
tographs, dear?
Marie--Why. one of them Is very
pretty and the other is quite good
likeness.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Kenosha--Due to the scarcity of fe-
male domestic help, C. ]. Huber, SUI
perintendent OF the federal employ
ment bureau, sent young men into
homes to do work ordinarily done by
women. One applicant for maid
agreed to try young man as serv-
ant. According to latest reports. he
is making good. The pay for such
work ranges from IS to SIS a week,
including room and board
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
WISCONSIN
! STATE NEWS

Madison-The United States forest
products laboratory at Madison has
been called upon TO make an elaborate
exhibit of wood uses for New York
state, and has furnished most unique
demonstration of how to utilize the
waste OF the forest. This is included
in an exhibit which is being sent TO
every corner of New York state by
the New York State College of For
estry at Syracuse which has started
out to demonstrate TO New York state
the need for close utilization of its
lumber resources. Warren B. Bullock.
a former Milwaukee newspaper man,
is in charge of this work as director
of forest extension for the New York
college.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
Color of His Thouahts.

"Gasby is downcast on account of
his lack of culture"
eyes, he is blue because he is not
we'll read"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Madison-Among the experts com
posing the mission to Armenia and
the trans-Caucasus which left Paris
recently under the leadership of Maj
Gen. j. G. Marlboro, chief of staff of
the American expeditionary forces in
France, are Capt. Stanley X. Horn
beck and Maj. Lawrence Martin, both
of the University of Wisconsin faculty,
according to a dispatch from Paris.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
umpor,an, to Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, that famous old remedy
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17
HEADACHE
Often Caused by


Yes. indeed, more often than you think.
Because ACID-SrOMACH, starting with in
digestion, heartburn. belehing food-repeat-
ing, bloat and gas II not checked will even
tuRlly affect every vital organ OF the body.
Severe. binding, splitting headaches arss
therefore, OF frequent occurrence as a result
OF this upset condition.
Take EAToNIc. II quickly banishes acid
stomach with It's sour bloat. pain and gas.
II aids digestion-helps the stomach get
full strength from every mouthfu OF food
you eat. Millions OF people are miserable.
weak, aick and ailing because of ACID
STOMACH. Poaona. created by partly d.
gested food charged with acid. are absorbed
into the blood and distributed throughout
the entire system. This often causes rheu-
matism, biliousness. cirrhosls of the liver,
heart trouble, ulcers and even cancer Of
the stomach. IL robs its victims OF their
health. undermines the strength OF the
most vigorous.
IL you want TO get back your physical
and mental strength-bs full of vim and
vigor-enJoy life and be happy, you must
get rid of your acid-stomach
In HATONIc you win ind the very help
you need and it's guaranteed. So get big
soc box from your druggist today. IL Il
fails to please you. return 1t and he VIII
rafund your nancy
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Manitowoc--George Vollendorf, A,
switchman for the c. & N. w, was
run down and killed in the Calumet
yards The heel of his shoe caught
in a frog while he was setting cars.
and with the engine almost on top of
him he could not escape. The engine
caught him. The engineer applied the
reverse lever and tried to stop, but the
engine was too near.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Kenosha- Sylvia Easulis, Is, be-
came discouraged by failure to get a
satisfactory job, so she went out in a
suit of her brothers. clothes. Dis
covery and detention by the police fol
lowed Her brother came and ex-
planned that she had no motive other
than to get work. On his promise to
look after her she was allowed to go
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Ashland-Jeremiah Driscoll, 72, was
burned to death on his farm two miles
east of Highbridge He lived there all
alone, and was feeble in mind and
body. The supposition is that burn
ing coal dropped from his cook stove
and fell on the dry wooden floor. A
neighbor discovered the burning house
and saw him lying on a cot amidst the
flames, but could not reach him.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Rhinelander-State Pres. j. n. Title
more, American Society of Equity, de-
livered an address on The Future of
the American Farmer in the Making of
the World to large crowd. He con
graduated Northern Wisconsin upon
the splendid progress made in agricul-
ture in recent years, and prophesied
dependence of the world upon the
farmers in the near future.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Stevens Point - Two hundred new
members is the goal set by the Port
age County Fish & Game Protective
association. A movement has been
begun to revive interest in the organ
ization and a representative of the
state conservation department at Mad
ison will be asked TO come to con-
duct campaign.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Manitowoc The Teitgen block. a
three-story brick business building, in
the heart of the city, has been pur-
chased by the two odd Fellow lodges
for 050,000. The city hall, drug store
and book store are on the first floor,
with the city council chambers on the
third floor The lodges bought the
building as an investment.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Wausau - The Marathon county
chapter of the American Red Cross
has received a large, fully equipped,
automobile ambulance and it has been
placed at the disposal of residents OF
Marathon county and surrounding
country. Calls will be answered night
and day.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Sheboygan - Martin Worden. IS,
AdeH, was run down and instantly
killed by an automobile driven by his
son. Grin, near Beechwood. The aged
man was walking along the edge Of
narrow road about quarter of a
mile from his home when his son and
a friend came along in his car. The
elder Worden was apparently not in
danger. when, without warning TO the
automobilists. he turned directly in
front of the machine. He was hurled
10 the ground with such force that he
sustained fracture Al the base Of the
skull.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

While cutting hay on the
marsh three miles below the city,
Fred Winkler had leg lacerated. The
muscles, tissue and nerves were badly
torn by mower. Thirty stitches
were necessary to close the wounds
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Eau Claire-At a meeting of all
high school and grade school teach
ers at the opening of schools, city
Superintendent w. A. Clark. empha.
sized the importance of the work OF
Americanization as part of the school
curriculum and urged them to develop
methods that would be the most eff
feetive and far reaching; also to work
along lines that would tend to com
bat the present feeling of unrest at
tendant upon the after-the-war recon
struction.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Tomah - Several farmers in this
vicinity began cutting corn, new
early record. The crop is fine one
and most of the corn is beyond dan
ger of frost. For the past week, the
thermometers have gone down to
within seven degrees of freezing ev-
cry night.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Oshkosh = Seventy head of reg
istered Holstein cows, heifers and
calves were sold at the George Kuettel
farm, for members of the Winnebago
County Holstein Breeders association
and brought $4,000, an average of
about $3.50 head. There were Al
heifers, IA calves and Is cows in the
group.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1919-09-17

Rhinelander The Thunder Lake
Lumber Company, which recently pur-
chased the large Robbins timber hold
ings and sawmill in this city, are max
ing extensive improvements in the To-
cal plant preparatory to one of the
biggest lumber cuts of many seasons.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
PERSONALS

R. H. Fatt, manager of the Fairmont
hotel has gone to Washington, D. c.,
where he will join his family and they
will go to Atlantic City for several
weeks stay.
Mrs. Fay Amos and little daughter
June OF Detroit, Mich, are guests of
Mrs. Amos parents Mr.. and Mrs. Web
Amos at Baxter. They will be join
ed here soon by Mr.. Amos.
Miss Emma Michael of the clearical
Mr.. and Mrs. Bert Davis have re-
spending several weeks at her home in
Hammond.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bert pavcis have re.
turned from two weeks trip to Ash
land, KY, and the former has resum-
ed his duties at the Fairmont hotel.
The Misses Katherine aud Grace
Fitzehough OF Florida avenue are
spending several days as the guests
Of Mr.. and Mrs. John Kelley at the
Log.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. W. vanncrt and
daughter Mar Margaret have return
ed 10 Clarksburg after spending sew
eral days here with the latter's parents
Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer Russell.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21

Mr.. Jones only recently returned from
France where he was IN the army OBJ
seryation baroon service. He sues
ceeds Fred ]. Handy, who resigned TO
open an office Of his own.
Mr.. ISner Improving.
Friends OF Robert Burns Isnar, OF
Elktns, win be pleased to learn that he
is improving at his home after having
been rather i'll, narrowly escaping an
attack OF double pneumonia. He Is
now out Of danger,
Mr.. lsner was formerly connected
as secretary and sales manager OF the
Elkins Coal & Coke company at Elk
ms, but only several weeks ago accept
ed position as sa;es manager of the
Boone County Coal Corporation,
Sharpless, W. Va. He became m be-
fore he could take charge of his new
post. He will so to Sharpless about
October 1.
United Mine Workers.
John Custalac, district organizer. is
at Meadow Brook today.
Joe Angelic, international organi-
ger, is in the Clarksburg fields TODAY,
Sanford Snyder, international or
ganiEer, is in Fairmont today.
n. 3. Peters, district organizer. re-
turned from Charleston last night
c. F. Keeney, Charleston, president
OF district II, United Mine Workers
will arrive in Fairmont from Charles
ton tonight.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
DINNER
TABLE FORM

Even etiquette has it's changing
fashions!
Many debutante and rising young
man" invited to his or her first din
ner party has tossed on a midnight
pillow, and raptly consulted some
What to Do Book" in an agony over
the proper way with asparagus!
And once asparagus was to be ap-
preached only with fork-but now
adays it may be daintily lifted with
the fingers! Fashions have changed
The tendency is ever toward sim
plicity, with Dame Curtesey's frown
upon display and elaboration in SER
vice and absurd restrictions in be-
hayior,-and the general rule is sim
plicity and inconspicuous behavior.
There are q few main points in
table etiquette which should be OBJ
served BY every well-bred and self
respecting individual OF family group.
In family life, where there are
very small children whose meals re-
quire special time and attention it
is wise to serve their meals away
in the social life of the family group.
At the average family table, with
adults only in the group, the mother
should be served first, then the girls,
rupted by the demands of children.
Children of 10 to 10 years should
be permitted to eat at the general
table to obtain training In good man
ners, and begin to take their place
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21

server for a second helping, place
both knife and fork side by side on
the plate and send with the plate.
When the plate is cleared place
knife and fork close together upon it,
the knife at the right and the fork
at left.
The spoon is used only for stirring
liquids or serving soft food from
plate or dish to the mouth. Never
allow the spoon to remain in a cup
or dish after all have been served.
1t endangers spilling, In drinking any
beverage use the spoon to stir and
test the temperature and flavor,
then lay the spoon on the saucer and
sip quietly from the cup.
Take soup from the side of the
spoon.
In dr,ukiny from water glass al
ways wipe the lips before drinking
to avoid leaving a greasy impress on
the rim Of the glass.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
RED CROSS AND
CONTINUED from page one,

Y. NJ. G. A. and some selected insur-
ance men of Fairmont will handle
problems of insurance and guarantee
action.
The Salvation Army will be called
upon il service man 81 found to be
in destitute circumstances or needing
shoes or clothing.
Many men returned from war and
found several legal tangles confront
ing them as the result of inheritances
and the like. A legal authority will
be retained to help these men 10
straighten up all such affairs. A doc
tor will be secured to render medical
attention to any man in need Of 1t.
II vas brought out at the meeting
last night that any man who is ten
per cent, OF more, disabled is entitled
to free education and training by
the government. There are many men
in the county entitled to this service
who are unaware of its existence.
After the conference between the
Legion committee and the Red Cross
today, special meeting will be called
of the Legion to elect the colder sec
rotary from a list of those selected by
the LeLgion committee and the Rec
Cross.
The Legion committee is composed
of Rollo Conley, chairman; Charles
Holt, Irwin Huntington, Will Ice and
o. S. Knapp.
The following resolution wal
adopted by the meeting last night:
Resolved, That Fred Heintzelmar
Post No. II, the American Legion, o.
Fairmont, gratefully accept the offel
of the Fairmont chapter of the Amer
lean Red Cross to employ a soldier
secretary to look after the needs Of
the returned soldier, sailor and ma
rlne, and hereby appoint committed
of five, with authority to act, to con
fer with the Red Cross in the EN-
ployment Of this secretary.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
Personals.

Miss Frances Rohey IS home from
Wheeling for a visit with her par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. Honor Rehey. in
Marshall street.
Mrs. Ralph Glen, Of I'E:sburgh. IS
here. the guest OF har mother and
sister, Mrs. q. w. Jones and Mrs Z.
N. Mockler respectively, of Buffalo
street.
E. G. Martin has gone to Pits
burg for few days business visit.
The Misses Edna and winifred
Baumann are out agaia after an 81.
ness of few weeks at their home Ia
High street.
Mr.. and Mrs. Camden Mcneil and
children OF Akron. Ohio are here for
visit with relatives.
The Misses Pearl Arnett and Amy
Williams Of Rymer were visitors In
the city yesterday.
Howard Koen, OF Lamar, Colora-
do is in Warrington for visit with
relatives. -
John L. Wells, of Glover Gap. was
a business visitor here yesterday.
Miss Nova Monroe, has returned
from Cleveland, Ohio. where she was
buying for Miss Christine Morrison's
millinery. Miss Monroe will not re-
turn to Mullens, W. Va, this autumn,
but will be employed at Miss Morri-
sons establishment.
Leslie Lyall, of Morgantown, was
the guest of friends here this week.
Roy criss has returned from visit
with his uncle at West Union.
Mrs. Frank E. Flowers left Tues
day morning for visit with friends
in Detroit, Mich.
Mrs. Charles F. Peard Is on o visit
to relatives in Parkersburg.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank H. Mayors have
returned from a visit with relatives
in Moundsville.-
Arthur Yost left last evening for .
visit with relatives at Cameron.
w. R. Goe, OF Weston, was. q busi-
ness visitor in the city yesterday.
Mrs. M. q Burt, Miss Laura Burt,
Fred A. Burt and daughter, Virginia
returned home yesterday from q VS.
1t in Atlantic City.
Miss Virginia Hewitt left yesterday
to visit the Warrington campers on
A. q. Baumann left yesterday for
Grove City, Pa, and will return with
new Bessemer truck for the South
Penn Oil Company.
Miss Helen Prichard is the guest
of Miss Evelyn Booher at Mounds
VILE.
Miss Marie Book, of shinnston, is
guest at the home Of her uncle.
Harry ]. Taught.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
GOOD CAR SUPPLY
Continued from page One.l

down because of car shortage. Late
placements are running good and this
will help some toward getting right
fair production today.
3. & o. Movement Good.
East of Grafton yesterday the Bal
timore and Ohio railroad moved east
of Grafton 1895 cars. On Tuesday
1924 cars were moved east OF Graf
ton.
It. is self evident that Federal Man
ager Galloway must have stirred
things because the movement has been
keeping up steady for several weeks
with scarcely break II any.
New Man In Charge.
R. N. Jones, Of Wilkes Barre, Pa, a
mining engineer of experience In the
anthracite fields, has been placed in
charge Of the offices Of the Alden Coal
Mining Company, Inc, at Clarksburg.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21

then the boys, and the father serves
himself last.
When guests are present they
should be served first, or If the meal
is semi-formal the hostess should be
served first, and should set the pace
for the guests in the choice OF silver,
and the use of the table equipment
of food, thus sparing the guests en-
barrassment.
For large formal dinners the hos
tess and guest of honor are served
first, and then the guests on one side
Of the table are served before serv-
ing on the other side is begun. This
is more practical than serving all the
ladies' first.
The fork is the table implement,
which is used for conveying food to
the mouth either as spear when
employed to hold food on the plate,
while 1t is cut with the knife. In
such case hold the fork with the top
end resting in the palm of the hand,
the tines downward; and the fore
finger resting on the waist of the
fork to steady 1t. In carry the food
to the mouth keep the food on the
tips of the tines, and the hand up
permost in eating. Using the fork
as a shovel turn the tines upward,
and take small portions of food into
the bowl of the fork, resting the
handle on the hand and holding the
fork between the thumb and first
finger.
Use the knife only when required
for cutting meat or vegetables, and RI
spread bits of bread with butter.
When not In use lay the knife fiat
across one side OF the plate.
Should the plate be returned to
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21
Alarm solInded.

Fire originating in box OF waste
paper on the rear porch at Young's
second hand store in Buffalo street
called out the department at ten
o'clock Tuesday night. The blaze
was soon extinguished without dam
age. How the fire originated was
not ascertained, but suspiclon!ng that
it was of incendiary origin, blood
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1919-08-21

Deeds for Reeord-The 1ol1ow,nr
deeds have been filed at the office Of
the county clerk, today. Sarah b
Hamilton and VIII Hamilton to B. D.
Outright and Mabelle May Outright
parcel Of land In the Second ward
Of the City Of Fairmont, valued at
$3.50. Larney McBee to Alexander
Fox Elias Fox and Reason Fox, all
OF Eairyiew, parcel of real estate
IN the Town Of Fairview valued at
gleo. " hlItAa. p..lE..