The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-12-18

WneH YOU 0AVO MI hutOIuOUle App6
tite and wheelbarrow digestion, an
when you discover that all young me-
are internal fools, you are CROWN,
old.
A captain, inspecting his company
one morning, came to an Irishmar
who evidently had not shaved for sew.
eral days, Doyle" he said, "how is il
you haven't shaved this morning -
"But Oh did, sor." "How dare you
tell me that with the beard you have
on your face?' "Well, ye see, sor,"
stammered Doyle, there wus nine of
US to one small bit NV looking glass,
an it must be thot in the gineral corr
fusion Oh shaved some other mans
face"
For two long years Jock had been
counting Maggie. One evening, after
a silence of nearly an hour, Maggie
said shyly: "I'll gle ye penny for
ye thochts, Jock" "Well," replied
Jock with sudden holiness, al was
just thinkin' hoo fine it wud be il We
were to gle me bit kissie." She COM
piled demurely, and again there was
long silence until Maggie timidly
ventured. what are we thinkin' ABBOTT
nee, Jock? Anither? ?" INA, ma, las
sie," was the reply. II was just think
in that it was ABBOTT time We were
payin' me that penny for ma thochts.
. q =
Along the hard. dry, wind-swept
road in suburb came drove Of pigs
Ia most unusual spectacle in London
Of recent years. From the by-streets
the children Of the poor came hurry
ingto see, and it was clear from their
comments that many Of them had
never seen a pig before. Look, Liz
er!" cried one Of the smallest among
them. "Look, there's a pie-bald one ?"
Course there is, stoopid,v said |
Lizer; who was clearly well versed in
natural history. "Where else do yer
think they get streaky bacon from? ?"
Mr.. Johnson was vending his way
home, after a firing day house hunt
ng with no results. Passing along
by river he heard splash Hor-
-ors! There was a man struggling
n the water. Could it be? Yes-it
vas his friend Mr.. Robson. Disre-
yarding his appeals for help, Juhnson
made rush for Robson's house agent
Excuse me-" he said breathlessly,
but can have Robson's house? He
las fallen in the river and is drown
ng.' "Sorry," said the plaster-faced
louse merchant, "but you're too late.
We already let it to the man who
'ushed him in"
"Den ag'n, sab, dar's de cheap man"
ontemptuously said good old Parson
'agster. "He huns and haws and
angs back bout j'inin' de church
well he gets de 'tention of everybody
nd den he filings up his hands and
ONES th'oo wild howl of triumph,
Ike he'd done invented salvation and
obody hadn't never used none of it
efo'. And he hasn't been instigated
lto de fellowship mo- dan bout six
iont's twell he's runnin' de church
nd high hand and gittin' ready to
ischarge de Lawd and hold Jedgc-
tent Day hisself. OATS de cheap
,anl"
The evening callers were chatting
ayly with the Misgivenses when a
after of little feet was heard from
lie head Of the stairs. Mrs. Misgivens
sised her hand, warning the others to
lence. "Hush!' she said softly. "The
lildren are going to deliver their
Goodnight message. 1t always gives
e feeling of reverence to hear them c.
'r they speak the love that is in n
leir little hearts never so fully as n
hen the dark has come. Listeni" n
here was moment of tense silence. Nv
Mamma" came the message Ell
shrill phisper, "Willy found b
,dbugp Il
Q d,
Old Bill Misgivens is trombone la
fist, and gets considerable enjoy II
ent out of playing that instrument. Il
ut he makes so much noise his wife
on't let him practice in the house,
i'd he is accustomed to playing out in 3
e barn. II was rafting off few u