The Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 191?-19??, 1919-04-23
BALDHEAD CLUB
INBUSY SESSION
LECTURE OF COL. CLARENCE
BLAKEM0RE ON THE
WEARING OF WIGS
COL. M. D. kELLYs INVENTION
Demonstration of His Wonderful &C.
Ray SpeetaeIes," That VIII See
Through Seal Skin Coat,

wv are mere because we are here,
facetiously remarked Col. Lemue
Hoffman Mckee, as he rushed into
the room with his characteristic
energy and effervescence.
Il came all the way from Trenton
to attend this meeting tonight, and
missed trading an oil well for to-
bacco crop to catch the train. The
United States may run six months
without q President but / don't be-
heve this bafdheaded club could run
fifteen minutes without my guiding
hand" by the way" continued Col.
Mckee, Il picked up a new member
on the way. The conductor of the
train, Capt. Beale, took off his cap to
salute me when boarded the train
and disclosed the fact that he is eli
gible for the S3rd degree in this An
Gent and Honorable Order of Shining
Pates. l herewith propose him for
membership and pause moment for
the vote to be taken" Col Jno. C.
Hooe moved his election by accla-
nation and he was made a full
tledged member on the condition that
he will in the future punch a hole in
the ticket of every baldheaded man
who rides on his train.
President Mckee lost no time in
introducing Col. Clarence BIakemore
as the orator of the evening and di-
rected him to tell what he knew or
didn't know on the subject of Wigs.
You needn't speak more than four
minutes" he added.
Col. Blakemore at once turned on
a fluent flow of language and said:
Il don't know of but one wig
worn in HOpkinsviIle and that is on
the head of man who ought to be /
black-balled if he ever tries to get
into. this charmed circle of hairless
heroes. Shame on the baldheaded
man who is ashamed of his badge of
distinction and would cover 1T I'D
with the hirsute sweepings from
some barber shop, where rank
growths Of hair have been moved in
the interest of sanitation. It is bad
enough to wear hair fastened to ones
own scalp, but good Lord deliver us
from the secondhand article that
some other one has discarded, or sold. /
like Esau, for mess of potash" G
Everybody applauded except Col. G
Bill Howell, who was jealous of Col. t
Blakemore's Oratorical ability. G
At the conclusion of Col. Blake '
more's lecture, the club took a re- S
cess TO witness a demonstration by
Col. M. D. Kelly of a wonderful in a
yention he had just completed which t
he called the "C-ray Spectacle. It t
Is somewhat similar to the ''X-ray." c
but much simpler. When made into Z
what appears as ordinary eyeglasses
or spectacles, the "C-ray' enables C
the wearer to see through any kind p
Of covering, fabric or cloth, from a a
Silk handkerchief to a chinchilla oy-
ercoat. In explaining its merits Col. o
Kelly said: Nothing can be conceal o
ID by any kind of artificial covering o
from the wearer of this wonderful o
INVENTION. It's possibilities are limit o
ess. 1t is possible to see every ar
acle In mans pocket and count the
'uttons on his union suit. It does in
more than the x-ray, which reveals M
My solids. 1t removes drapery of ~
very kind, revealing not merely W
ones and metals, but nature una ~
orned." Fl
The distinguished optician then per Sa
litted limited number of scientists
resent to put on the wonderful Tc
tasses. Judge Green Champlin was Sa
ne first one and when he glanced
round the room he said it reminded In
i'm of one of the physical examin-
lions of drafted men held at the
curt House during the war. The
My difference was that in one case DO
lie boys hung their clothes on a tut
1ok and in the other the clothes IN
orn simply disappeared like the ~
sgs from prestidigitator's hat. -
OIL Champlin became so convulsed ORE
it'll uncomfortable hilarity that he cut gu
Iort his inspection and passed the u.E
to Col. Alex .Overshiner, ing
ho was anxious to take look when WI
J learned that the demonstration iar
as free. Col. 0vershiner was not
tisfied with the interior views, but
anted to go outside and see how
ey worked by the light Of the white
~, but Col. Kelly said his inven- Ge
"a was designed to aid science and ca
It to be used to review sereet pa pa
des. Col Overshiner was very am
UGH interested and finally offered me
give Col Kelly his automobile for COZ
e use of his Cray glasses for one ~
EEK. Col. Mckee vetoed the nego- roo
.tions at this point and said that
would be highly improper for any ]
amber except the President to con- mel