The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-05-24
THEY WILL FIGHT
Coolies Also Are Great Animals
To Explore a Person.
"San" FARRELL Writes About
Little War Pets.
He NAMED THOSE He FED.
ThurstOH, an AristOcrat, Lived
in His Arm Pit.
Shakespeare the Father of
Thousands of Children.
He NAMED THOSE He FED.
BY "sANo JARRELL.


To man who served in France the
words front" and "cootie" are synon-
ymous. He couldn't go to the front
without getting a rare collection of
the industrious little vermin. He
would dodge a Boche II shell and
scratch coolies at the same time. The
writer of this article is an authority on
coolies, as he on more than one occa-
sion put other Yanks to shame be-
cause of the number and variety OF
his seam squirrels"
Coolies come in various shapes. sizes
and dispositions. First in number
comes the hungry type-the happy lit
tie fellows who digest the tender NOR
sails which they pick from the soldier S
unprotected skin. At the beginning
of their career on various parts OF the
anatomy. they are frisky and a little
nervous, but gradually they grow sleek
and stolid in their movements. But
the dainty dears are always eating,
nibbling on a piece of shin, or MUNICH
ing contentedly in the region of the
left ear.
Raised Family On Writer.
One of the writer's eating coolies
found a comfortable haven of refuge
under the right arm-pit, where ne
prospered undisturbed, and where he
raised a large and fine bunch of little
coolies. Like other pets. he was gwen
a name. and because of his aristocrauc
bearing and manner was named Tnurs-
ton. His oldest son, who also was the
father of n few thousand children
was commonly known as Shakespeare
Another kind of the species when
has become famous is the fighting
cootie Many scientists, after laDorl-
Gus Investigations. say that the cooue
doesn't like to fight. But these sci
entists examined them thru micro
nj didn't into close con-
tact with the coolies inner life as dld
the average buck private at the front.
A Topeka radio corporal has PROOF
that a good fighting cootie is worth
his weight in paper francs rms cor
poral a X. S. A. c. fraternity man.
trained one husky insect with the
same care that a prize fighters train
err would show before world cham-
pionship match. Other lads had am
billions for their coolies, particularly
when it was announced that an artil-
lery cootie tournament would be forth
coming Just before the batteries were
deloused But this radio mans
cootie. highly trained in the noble art
of self-defense, won in walk, ana
a good many soap wrappers chang
ed hands because of his success.
Arc Vcnturcsome- Animals.
There is no part of the body that
the adventurous coolies do not visit.
In cold weather they are not so pest1-
ferrous. except at night. when the SOL
der retires, wrapped up in his heaVy
blanket Then is the time for the
coolies to frolic and gambol over the
greensward, as it were.
1t is estimated that the average
per man in the both field artillery
was 100. That means that during the
height of the coolies prosperity in
that regiment, perhaps 100000 found
refuge about the persons of these
artillerymen.
1t was essential that the combat or
CARNATIONS, which suffered the most
from the insects. be deloused before
they left France. Coolies inhabit dug
outs and box cars largely, and it was
almost impossible to be rid of them
as long as habitations consisted of
dug-outs. And many times after an
outfit was thoroly deloused. the men
"Hommes 40. ChevauX s" side door
Pullmans.
In the lie Mans area, where troops
on the priority lists are concentrated for
embarkation, every man is thoroly de-
loused. and his clothing is fumigated
or destroyed. At Brest the same pro-
cess is repeated. By the time the or
CARNATIONS leave Brest. coolies are
merely memories. But the camp au-
thorities at Upton, Mills and other
eastern cantonments. take no chances,
and Immediately upon landing in this
country, the men are deloused for the
third and last time
Coolies Know No Rank.
Coolies have no respect for rank
The writer has seen brigadier generals
occasionally scratch themselves in the
small of the back unconsciously, aItho
it is not so common among briga oilers
as officers of lower rank. Colonies are
not immune Majors are meat for
the insects. The writer only knows
of one major who was immune He
was commonly known as Major
God" and he was very hard boiled"
and the coolies didn't associate with
him very long. Second lieutenants,
as a rule, are more susceptible than
corporals and privates.
1t is probable that it will be several
years before the cootie is exterminated
from France American tourists NAV
run into them at some of the finest
hotels in Nice and P t-is in the next
two or three years. That will be q
shocking blow to the pride of some
American millionaires. with their
young and tender heirs and heiresses.
because coolies, now that the war il
over, have ceased to be fashionable
1t is not considered good form to have
the coolies now, altho during the war
1t was a sign that the possessor had
seen active service.
Irwin Cobb once wrote 5000 worda
about a peanut. One of these daya
Cobb or some other writer familiar
with the subject, viii probably grind
out a voluminous piece of literature
about the cootie.
Last year 10000 100000 cigarettes were
produced I'm the United States, four times