Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1919-06-06
His COSTLY DERBY
Abundant Reasons Why Owner
CIings to Headpiece.
Merely as an Investment Il Must Be
Conceded as Deserving Care, and
Is Worthy of Respect az
Thing Of Value.

It is only plain derby, beginning
TO have the permanent duskiness of a
peach, in spite Of frequent trips to the
hat specialist for rehabilitation. 1t
has no claim whatever to any individ.
uallsm, outside of the initials, which
are inside and don't show anyway. It
does not do me justice, either. And
at any angle place 1t, It gives me a
topheavy appearance.
So why do cling to TT Why?
Because anything that costs as much
money as that derby, deserves not only
care as an investment, but respect as
thing Of value. People don't laugh
at the Kohinoor diamond, do they?
They never poke fun at the Great
Ruby2 Then why should they be
amused at my derby7
1t cost great deal of money. The
first time I bought it, mean when I
selected 1t in the hat shop and paid for
it, supposing that 1t was wholly mine,
the price was four dollars. The pay
ing over Of four of my dollars to the
hat man gave me, at least to my sim
pie, one-track mind. sole right and ii.
tie against all pretenders until the end
of the world. But only simple mind
could believe a thing like that.
Alas, like many other things In this
surprising world, II was not my derby.
II never has been and probably never
will be. For have been buying 1t
ever since the first sale in the shop,
n1moct 1ila ono dnac m tho tpatoIr,on4
rlan. Only the instalment plan entails
a set expenditure each week or month
you know just what 1t is going to be
and can be prepared for It,
But when you get your derby from
hat boy or hat girl in hotel, restau-
rant, theater or wherever the grafters
are permitted, you do not know what
II will cost you. 1t all depends on the
hauteur of the hat boy or girl In
charge. Some Of them have the mp
pearance that anything rendered less
than fifty cents would be faux pas be
yond thought. Then the surroundings
play such an important part in gaug
ing the amount of blood money, or hat
money, just as you desire to designate
VI. n IuuSs VI lDWeIllS IhlIus, IuuCn
marble and occasional rugs, means
ransom. Less marble and only one or
two palms mean less indemnity. And
simple mahogany and no palm mean
ten cents.
Why do men ever select such
piece Of headgear In the first placer
know why they hang onto It after
they get II, but what can be the rea-
son for wanting one in the beginning?
They are not beautiful on or off the
head. They are hard to keep clean.
Also they dent very easily and grow
shabby without an effort. II Is a mys
terry.
There is no sentiment in my case
toward my derby. I respect it, tn"
same as I respect anything that costs
lot of money, but I don't love 1t.
don't gaze at 1t with the tenderness
l bestow on my tulip bed, nor do I look
OF It with the fOndITess which my Old
briar pipe inspires. These would
rot part with.
But anyone who will advance to me
one-tenth the sum which have paid
out may become the owner of one
black derby, triflc fuzzy perhaps, but
still capable of exciting the envious
eyes of hat boys and hat girls.-Harry
Irving Subway In Judge