Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-26
Little Talks By
Beatrice FdHfdr

OIL young lndTTleu pair VIM tooiN
the risk of starting life with parents
in-law.
And an unwise risk it proved TO
be, in this, as in so many other un-
happy cases. For it is a sad little
story that is told by Il sympathetic
friend of the young wife.
over and over again one wonders
at the eager, kindly stupid and al
together masculine blindness that
leads Il young bridegroom whose
mother is loath to part with him,
to insist that his bride shall come
TO live under the same roof with his
parents.
Here's the supremely happy ar
rangement for everybody, he cheer
fully tells himself. a lonely father
cheered up, slightly jealous mother
pacified, and bride allowed to begin
married life without a responsibility
worth mentioning. How could there
possibly be a more sensible and sat
isfactory sort of operation?
And the bride, of course, keeps
her disappointments and misgiv-
ings to herself They would hurt
somebody's feelings if she eX-
pressed them. Her wise young hus-
band is probably right after all.
And it won't matter if for a time
she can't have her own things"
about her, and her own friends. 1t
won't matter that she can't have
her husband to herself, and that
they can't pursue the deliciously
awkward experiments of their early
married life without the constant
presence of critical lookers-on. Or
rather it would matter, but she'll pre-
tend it doesn't. She'll be, in short,
the victim.
Faults of Mother-in-Law
And as to the working out of
such a project, the letter I've al
ready spoken of furnishes the de-
tails. in this household, the young
husband meets most of the eX-
pense and the young wife does
most of the housework. The letter
goes on:
THE mother-in-law seems to
keep the poor girl in hot water all
the time. Last spring the wife
lost her baby before it was time
for it's birth. after one of the ner-
vous attacks she has been having.
The mother-in-law acts as if she
could hardly stand the wife around,
yet insists that the husband stay
and help support the parents.
"To be just, the wife is rather
high-strung from being ill, but
the mother-in-law is very conceited
and headstrong. and runs to her son
with all kinds of tales she imagines
she has grounds for. And, of course,
the wife, out of love, and not want
ing to make it any harder for her
husband, says nothing, but,gets thin
ner and more unstrung all the time.
Some blame may be laid to this
girl for not standing up for her
rights, yet anything she said or did
would be twisted and turned TO make
it appear against her."
7 wish I felt sure that the young
husband in this case will come to
see the family situation as it is, and
insist that his wife have her own
home, and freedom.
But he's probably nice, be-
wildered. altogether dense young
man, who will keep on balancing
his wife's side of the case against
hts mothers and imagining it's his
duty to remain neutral. The kind
est husband in the world can't al
ways see his way out after he has
let himself become the bllndfolded
center of a domestic tangle of love
and jealously and unfairness.
Hints for Young Lovers
But it's the. kind of story that l
wish young people who aren't mar
ried yet. the blissfully engaged ones,
who believe that perfect happiness
is only lap ahead of them, would
consider carefully.
Perhaps marriage is going to be
sweet and serene and successful for
all Of them. But none of them can
be sure that at any moment there
won't come some turn in family af-
fairs which will seem to suggest
that they sacrifice that freedom
they've dreamed of, that sweet in
innate life together. Somebody has
died or somebody is out of job or
somebody is lonely or somebody is
poor. And in any case. somebody
wants to sap their youth and hope
and health ard happiness.
1t really isn't fair.
1t ma ybe necessary, / know. And
in such a case the newly welded
ought TO make their sacrifice gay
heartedly.
But usually it isn't necessary.
It's merely expedient or economi-
cal It's the plan of somebody who
Is timid or prudent. I'm sure it's
scarcel yever prompted by real
And IL the older generation were
as wise as they believe themselves
to be, they would protect young
lovers from risking their married
happiness in family cooperation.
Cooperation is an excellent prin- |
,iple. believe in applying 1t TO
almost every department of life. |
But it ought to be practiced BY