Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-06

TG.
be much rot about divine advice"
and heavenly directions" rendered
him while on his devout knees.
| And nothing excited william,
Prince of poseurs, quite as much as
the thought that, of his 70,00O,oo0
of Germans. one or another refused
to take him at the exaggerated val
uation he put on himself.
The Lese Majesty Humbug
Here follows a story told by
General Won Scholl, Williams boon
companion on his hunting trips.
1T happened in Rominton," said
Scholl, "and the chase had come
off to His Majesty's entire satisfac-
ton, which means everybody else
complete disappointment. That is
to say: BY the chief forester's trick
cry all the game was driven perore
the Emperor's gun, while the rest
of us got nothing but few miser-
able hares, or rabbits to massacre:
Indeed, the Kaiser was so elated
with his success as a pig sticker and
deer butcher that he INDUCED in
good-natured persifage "a rare
/ ShAh6 Will SOhoCHoOhtAJ
present had visions of plenty OF
f, champagne and imported cigars In
the evening, for, as you know, when
he has had bad days shooting he
| goes to bed as soon as he comes
| home, condemning his friends and
guests to a diet of Berlin beer and
evil smelling cabbage leave cigars,
the rankest in all Christendom.
"As we were walking toward the
carriages. young Fuchs, the under
huntsman, came to me and whis-
pered:
docs your Excellency advise me
to ask His Majesty now?'
"'Go ahead, my boy answered
If he doesn't grant 1t now, he never
will Fuchs referred to a boon. he
desired, namely, a pardon for his
old uncle undergoing Imprisonment
for insult to Majesty.
His case was one of the rankest
that ever came to my notice. Fuchs
relative, it seems, is a well-to do
Pomeranian farmer. During the
manoeuvres the Kings horses
trampled down the old mans corn.
He sued the government and lost.
When he threatened to appeal, the
states attorney tried to dissuade
him, pointing out that he should feel
honored rather, seeing that the Kai-
ser himself had commanded the
troops that destroyed his crops.
The Kaiser said the old farm
er savagely, cam"
"At any rate" continued the Cen
eral, "old Fuchs simply used figure
| of vulgar speech, as all of US are
liable to do under provocation, but
the public prosecutor hailed the in
cident as a means for bringing his
| ignoble carcas to all highest notice.
Forthwith he clapped the farmer
in Jail and had him tried for lese
Majesty.
We'll, seeing that William was in
such exceptionally good humor, the
horizon ablaze with popping corks
and fiddlesticks, the under-huntsman
took heart and asked the Kaiser to
pardon his old uncle.
| "May He Rot In Prison"
"a gentleman of our party had his
eye on William while Fuchs pleaded
his case. He says the Emperor al
ternately turned red, white and
green in the face when he answered
the request.
"I am astonished beyond words
at your audacity. You ask for a
boon-it's yours! I hereby promise
YOU that 1 will forget the act of
damnable hardihood you have been
guilty of. You shall not be punish
ed for asking the liberation OF a
traitor. Do you know" he added,
| what they did with fellows like
you in olden times? They might
deem themselves lucky if they were
not disemboweled or broken on the
wheel
! After that the Kaiser paused and
called to the rest OF the company to
listen. Let me state here, once and
for all, that under certain conditions
/ may feel inclined to pardon even a
common murderer, but to my mind
the man who insults q crowned head
is ten times worse than a murderer.
Pardon him never WILL
" AS to Fuchs case, his relative
is undergoing most inadequate pun
| ishment for the grossest of crimes,
seeing that his vile tongue insulted
Gods anointed, the head of the Ger
man nation. May he rot in prison. ="
His Majesty Curses Old Woman
| Some years ago when the Kaiser
was riding in state through the
streets of Berlin to attend the ur-
yelling of one OF the lifesiZed pup
pets lining the Avenue of Victory
and giving palpitations of disgust to
every lover of art, poor old lady
dropped an envelope into the Royal
carriage.
The Adjutant, sitting to William 8
left, picked up the missive and, with
respectful bow, helu it out in his
hand not daring to presume whether
the letter should be accepted or not.
The Kaiser grabbed the envelope
with scowl. Then, without reading
even the address, flung it into the
street and rubbed his gloved hand
over his coat, as if anxious to remove
stain.
He cursed the old woman who had
the "effrontery to assault him with
her dirty letter. al the way down to
the place of unVeiliEg and, arrived
there, summoned the Chief of Police.
Fine order you keep" he roared
at the official. "On the way here an
other hussy bombar1ed me with her
filthy missives. Unfortunately, I
kicked the rag out of the carriage
otherwise the old strumpet's name
might have been ascertained for the
prosecuting attorney"
beg the readers pardon for the
language used, it's the highest t"
duly expurgated.
Shoot an American NIillionaire,
l shall never forget the excitement