davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1919-02-21
|TWOBBTHREE
BUG" BAER

7
No smokes, no drinks, no chews.
That must mean. a League of Carrie
Nations.
We piped a bird weeping like
busted roof and laughing like a
saused hyens. When we asked him
how he got that way. he managed to
choke his sobs long enough to moan:
Il gotta terrible income tax to pay
this year, thank heaven" -.
Jess Willard can take off seventy
pounds aud stHI hare zoo pounds be-
ttCeeH himself and looking Ike lamb
chop.
WELL, WHATEVER WE DO
WITH THE KAISER'S FLEET, at
WILL BE THAT MUCH MORE THAN
THE KAISER DID WITH IT.
You said something. buddy Right
on the nose.
Dempsey Claims that WHIard's
chances arc scaroer than i0edlthy mo-
tOrmefl. Says II he CUer lays that
right oar oUeT WiIEurd'S chiHpiece, Jess
is going to Leave a Uery large estate.
Willard comes right back and pipes
that Dempsey's right fail hasn't any
more kick than a Bryan highbalL
Chirps that he is trained down to
three nosebags a day an dweighs only
275 pounds in his pinkies. Something
wrong here. Last time we heard
enteen cents to get weighed on a
penny scale.
Most democratic biri in the world
lives in Rockville, Nd. Won't even
take his hat off to get his hair cut.
Lots Of fun in the navy these days
Secretary Daniels is after the slickers
who got rich selling jobs to gobs
Here's how they'd work it, A lin
ousine-edged bird with a bankrolI like
n rhinoceros'. wrist would shimmy up
to the slicker The countersign was
TO have your hair parted in the mid
die. Then the bird who owned the
Atlantic fleets 'pickpocket privileges
would chirp:
so you want a job in the navy?
Do you know anything about the
ocean,"
Its so untidy during a storm.
Fathers a millionaire"
That's something else again.
Did you bring anything with YOU
besides that polish on your hair?"
"Oh. yessir. I have a OankrOlI
that you could use for an anchor"
Fair enough. How do you
want your meals?"
Big enough to hide behind. sir.
Father told me not to allow the
cost to interfere with my decora-
tons"
There's only fifteen tholsanI
here. Where's the rest of the vel
vet?"
"A near admiral shook me down
for six hundred for a subscription
to next Tuesdays sunset. He said
it was going To be very beautiful.
Especially for a Tuesday"
HIN. That's the second time
that bird came over on my side of
the street. What boat do you
want tO~sail On?'
None Of those horrid gray
boats. Have you any boats to
match my cOmpleXion?'
Not for fifteen thousand. Wen
hold the war up for few min
utes until you run back and see
your old man"
"Oh! Father told me not to
come back until was an admiral IL
1t took a week"
How far do you want to sail?
You know fares have gone up in
the navy. Fifteen thousand amt
much mileage money"
"Oh! don't care how far
go just so long as l can eat SUD-
per home every evening"
"Well, well put you to work
waxing the dancing floor on the
Weehauken ferry boat You're a
sailor now. Wear your hat on
the side of your head and cruise
in Jazzenwebber's every night"
when do 1 report for active
duty?"
'Soon as you hear the wars over.
Tell your father to ease me five
more grands for your Haiform.
The Washington times., 1919-02-21
WILL HOLD sHOOT.

WILL HOLD SHOOT.
Analostan Gun Club members wIIi
take part in q shoot tomorrow. Arm
and navy officers have been invite
to attend.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Women as Secretaries.

Since Mr.. Lloyd George made the In.
novation of appointing woman secre.
tary, the example of the prime min
lister has been followed by some of his
colleagues in the cabinet. One of the
three private secretaries to Mr.. Bonar
Law, the chancellor of the eXchequer,
having left recently to become deputy
chairman of the board of inland reve-
nue., the chancellor has decided to
economize man power and at the same
time give formal recognition of wom-
ems growing efficiency by making Miss
e. M. Watson one of his private secre-
taries. These appointments of women
civil servants to confidential posts in
the encourage of the members of the
British cabinet are highly popular
among women workers generally who
appreciate the honor thus done to
their sex.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
SPOILED BIG WEDDING FEAST
How Ex-German Emperor Upset Din
ner on Which Herr BaIln Had
Spent Much Money.

Herr Ballin was noted for the ex-
travagant dinners which he gave on
great occasions, says the Edinburgh
Scotsman. Probably the most magnifi-
cent of all was that which he arranged
to grace the wedding of the kaiser's
daughter to the duke of Brunswick.
The floral decorations alone cost $10.
$50 plate, and the wines at about
$50. But the dinner, from Herr Bal
Inns point Of view, was a failure, for
the kaiser and kaiserin, who were to
have been present, sent word in the
afternoon that they could not come;
and it was in their honor, of course.
that Herr Ballin had spent his thou
sands on the banquet. One of his
servants has said that when Herr Bal
lin received the message that the en-
tremendous rage. He sent for his
butler, and ere the man had reached
Herr Ballin's study, his master shouted
out to him: "The emperor cannot come
to dinner tonight-put the whole show
OFF, and then slammed the door The
butler did not know exactly what to
do. To put off so important guests as
we're to be present was, Of course, an
impossibility but no one in the house
hold dared to approach the master of
it to suggest this. However. at about
3 O'Clock Herr Ballin had sufficiently
recovered his temper to come down
stairs and give some necessary direc-
tions about the banquet.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
The Tsetse Fly.

The dreaded 'tsetse fly pronounced
tset-se, accent on first syllable. whose
vowel has short sound. as In set)
is an African gsdfiy, about the size
Of housefy. The symptoms of it's
victim are at first those of severe
cold. The eyes. nose and mouth be-
gin to run" the body then swells
while emaciation sets in. although not
always fatal. The harm done is found
to be not the result Of poison from the
fly itself, but communication to the
blood of its victim of microscopic
parasite similar to that of Texas fe-
yer which it has received from die
eased animal. Animals or persons
that recover are usually immune. The
great dread of this fly formerly enter
tanned has proved to be unjustified.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
MULE OF PECULIAR COLOR
Driver Explained With Patience Just
How the Animals Strange Appear
ance Was Brought About.

Two mules, drawing an army service
wagon, caused a sensation In knights
bridge a short time ago. One mule
was poor but honest in appearance,
brown In color; the other was deli
cate shade of green. The green mule
was solemnly unconscious of the atten-
tiOn he was attracting. effects of
war oats?" asked a facetious United
States soldier. A workman rubbed his
eyes and then muttered, "camoufage."
The A. S. G. driver looked thoroughly
ashamed of the turnout. He stopped
to pick up a crate. "What is the mat
ter with your pony?" asked mild
man. 81 am tired of being asked it,
and it isn't pony" replied the driver.
'It is all through the chemical. Good
ness knows what color it will be to-
morrow. It's coat was very light once,
and the other mules used to kick it.
We washed it In some chemical dye
to make it darker. The sergeant
can't remember the name of the dye.
and now that 1t is wearing off, it is
different color each day. You are the
last person shall explain it to-" He
drove off furiously-a khaki driver on
slate-gray lorry drawn by one hon.
est brown mule and one shameless
mule of an esthetic shade of green
London Mail.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Frenchman Given Honor.

The first white man, as far as can
be determined. to discover petroleum
in America was Joseph de la Roche
D'Allon, a French missionary who
speaks of his discovery in a letter
written 1S9 years ago. He had crossed
the Niagara river and made his way
southwark through western New York
into northern Pennsylvania. where he
found spring from which oil flowed
The oil was highly esteemed by the
Indians for medicinal uses. This old
spring was probably identical with
one described by the Massachusetts
Magazine In 1889, which speaks of "a
creek called Oil creek, which issues
from spring, on the top of which
floats an oil similar to that called Bar
badOs tar, and from which one may
gather several gallons day." The
waters of this spring were supposed
10 give great relief from rheumatism
and to possess many other healing
qualities.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
NEW IDEAS THROUGH READING
Important to Select Good Books, but
Practically Anything Is Better
Than Nothing.

A teacher who had the real interest
of her pupils at heart, and who took
genuine interest In them and their
activities after as we'll as during school
hours, was trying her best to reach a
particularly trying boy of about thir-
teen years. He did not seem at all in
terested In his work or studies, and
she was attempting to discover just
what he was interested In and how he
spent his leisure time. Upon inquiry
she found he was fond of taking long
and solitary walks, although he dis
claimed any interest In the beautiful
or scientific in nature.
"Rut what do you do with yourself?"
the teacher insisted "What do you
thir.k about? You don't read very
much, do your
The boy denied that he read. and as
serted that when he was off alone that
way he liked to think his own
thoughts.
wonder what kind of thoughts that
poor boy occupied himself with? He
never read. and he was apparently i'm
pervious to new ideas of any sort. He
was just content with his own empty
thoughts-they must have been poor
ind stale and empty, for he never
opened his mind to new ones.
The best and most efficient way to
get ideas is by reading-and 1t makes
such difference, therefore, what we
read. But it is decidedly better to read
almost anything that comes to hand
than nothing at all. For IL one has
nothing in the mind at all. such pc
culiar things are bound to creep in
Isn't it better to re-think the thoughts
of fine men than to think your own
mean little ones ?-Exchange.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
EXPLAINING FALL OF JERICHO
Scientists Have Shown How Happen.
ing at Which Many Have Scoffed
Was Quite Possible.

Many have refused to believe the
biblical suggestion that the walls of
Jericho fell down before the Israelites
as result of the sound caused by
their shouts and the horns blown by
the seven priests.
Modern researches and discoveries
In regard to sound phenomena, how
ever, show that such biblical miracles
could be reconciled with natural law.
Vibration of sound is a thing the
possibilities of which we do not yet
understand. 1t Is said that one of the
great tenor singers can break a wine
glass by singing into its keynote.
The sub-bass of the pipe organ is
known to rack pews to pieces with it's
sympathetic note.
The authentic story Is told of an
old fiddler who, angered by the work
men constructing the first suspension
bridge at Niagara. threatened to fiddle
it down. OF course he was laughed
at, but, seating himself near the
bridge he began to experiment with
his bass string.
When he found the note that suited
him he sawed away on that note. The
cables responded and soon the bridge
was swaying in an alarming fashion.
If he had not been stopped he might
have fulfilled his threat. In any case
care was afterward exercised to pre-
vent particle of vibration In the
bridge.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Yellow Fever Mastered.

Reports from Ecuador indicate that
Doctor Noguchi, the famous japanese
scientist. who Is at present in that
country. has isolated the bacillus
which causes yellow fever, and has
prepared an anti-serum comforting i'm
munity on those exposed to the disease.
The discovery is being tried out on
Ecuadoran troops in the fevery in
terror.
The conquest of yellow fever is one
of the important achievements. In the
Canal zone the first steps were taken
the fever was banished by sanitation.
But proper sanitation is an extensive
process and Is impracticable in sparse
ly settled regions. So Doctor No
guchi's discovery comes to give a need
full coup de grace to the old villain.
yellow fever.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Their War Aims.

The Boche was a typical wide fore
headed Boche, with big trimmed
spectacles and a lager rotundity. 1t
was possibly that rotundity which had
prevented him getting away with the
others when the British troops scared
of the German party that was trying
to cut their wire. He was a valuable
prisoner, too, for he spoke English like
q native. He had been, he told them.
o professor Of German in England for
many years.-Capt. r. f. W. Rees.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Presents PitifuI Spectacle.

The return to France Of the women,
children and old men who were sent
out of that part Of France which was
occupied by Germans for more than
four years presented pitiful spectacles.
Many of these refugees were little
tots whose fathers and mothers had
been taken away by the cruel Boche to
work In Germany or behind the fight
ing lines. Others were orphans.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Didn't 4 nnk I2

What would you say" asked the
fair theosophist. "if | should tell you
that l was born in Egypt three thou
sand years ago?"
Why" said the man addressed, 81
should say you don't look tt."-Boston
Evening Transcript.
The Winslow mail., 1919-04-11
Too DANGEROUS.

Here's a story about girl who
swallowed a diamond ring"
''She was very foolish girl. a
diamond ring Is too rich for anybody's
Digestion"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
The German Menace Is Not Dead

The Republican Publicity Association through
Hon Jonathan Bourne J the foowng from its
Washington Headquarters
people country ncrce yawnng
that lies before them take steps smd
late production the fruits the victory the will be t
The price that the United
States paid order that the Hun might removed will have
been for nothing.
Germany will be relatively she before
She huge of manufactured goods hand her
munitions industries planned with usefulness
after her artisans mechanics voluntarily working
hours day. and all pulling together concerted effort
reestabsh the nation sound bas her low
German goods
strained the limit speed the work of reconstruction
What with the conditions The
confronted with threat from its chief labor leader
pte industrial designed compel the unconditional
who happen formed themselves labor
Hanging heads the imminent renewal of the nonae
demands of the four railroad broherood with the
transportation systems the penalty for compliance Our
the stimulation which
with the aid of ieoparize Foreign
will be placed whose facilities
such condition Labor exhibits asstue and
for the future that has greatly lowered its efficiency
Legislation by Congress State Legislatures
the apathy that the Nation The innate American spirit
expressed the individual the emergency
the influence foreign acasm that has settled like
blight upon the The German fboded greater
Republic than the domestic which
threatens existence nation When the former oomed
the the call for funds soldiers
ton All promptly forthcoming and the Hun couge
beaten back 1t is looming again. different form To
combat successfully house rights by
body falling and utilizing to the limit
lives required but must have work without
will fail in his duty American citizen who refuses
his bit ward off the disaster that
be guided by the his neghbor adopt but apply
self at to the Important task of production
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
Mining and Mill Man
Called to His Rest

William Boardman, one of the
old-time and widely-known resi-
dents of Idaho Springs, died at
his home here, in Grass Valley,
Friday, November Z. 1919, at 6:45
D. m. Mr.. Boardman had been n
failing health for four or five
years, and death was caused by
peritonitis. He was a man of
quiet and unassuming habits whose
life motto was "Judge not that ye
be not judged
William Boardman was born in
Russia in about 1e43, and had
followed mining and milling in
Clear Creek and Gilpin counties
for the past thirty years. He was
the original owner of the Elsinore,
Bavaria and Queens County mines
in Gilpin county, and at the time
of his death was the principal
member OF company operating
these properties. Shipments of
good ore from the Elsinore were
made only recently.
Six years ago the family re-
moved to Arvada temporarily but
some time ago returned to their
home in Grass Valley.
The funeral was held Wednes-
day, with services at the grave
conducted by Rev. J. Martin.
Lady Maccabees from Arvada were
in attendance, as were also friends
of theta mily from Denver.
To the bereaved widow, Mrs.
S.A. Boardman, and Miss Hannah
Boardman, the only immediate
survivors, the community extends
its heartfelt sympathy.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
Likes Our Trout Best

H. L. C"Brick') Robinson writes
the Siftings from South Pasadena,
Cal, in part as follows:
"Your Siftings comes every week
and we cannot part with it.
"We are packing about fifty tons
of tomatoes every day and have
been since September l..
John Lewis Roberts is field
man and he is making good.
"Should you want any aprlcots'
peaches or tomatoes you can get
them from Roberts Bros, that
were put up by US.
Il go fishing every week ana
catch yellow-tail that weigh twen-
ty to thirty pounds, and about
two hundred pounds of other fish,
but give me your trout.
Yours truly,
Brick Robinson
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
Carnival Successfully
Celebrates ArmiStice

Yes, it was all there, everything
that constitutes carnival-min-
strels, heralds, sword swallowers,
snake charmers everything to
amuse, to thrill, to alarm the un.
suspecting guest-the dramatic,
the tragic. the comic. Forensic
art there reached its elimination;
likewise the rhetorical and ora
torical arts. Probably no funny
minstrels were ever more excru-
ciatingly funny than were our
own minstrels, black as the black
ness Of night. Probably no con-
-quering hero was ever more heoric
nor wretched villain more des-
perately villainous than the two
characters in the melodrama.
There was not an idle moment
for the crowd of spectators who
-.e Fly thronged the corridors and
iostled expectantly into the vari-
GUS rooms. From basement to
second floor there was constant
succession of startling and sur
prising events to see, hear and
taste-from the ludicrous min
strels to the thrilling magician
pantomimes where the spectator
was stricken dumb by the miracu-
. lous revelations of the most sur
prising nature, funny farces where
a continuous roar of merriment
convulsed the audience-to the
candy booths and lunch counters.
Every scrap Of the delicious
dainties was licked up as with a
-devouring blast; every pickle was
hunted down and consumed, every
piece of indigestible candy had
its purchaser.
From every view the carnival
was memorable success-an
event that will long be remember
ed in the annals of the school.
The first anniversary of Armistice
Day in Idaho Springs was fitting
ly celebrated, by merriment. by
feasting, by hilarious good-time-
Financially, the carnival was
huge success, about $1o4 being
added to the treasury of the Stu
dents Association.
The school wishes to extend
thankful appreciation to the friends
and patrons who rewarded SO liber-
ally their work OF the recent days.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Leslie ). Wilson. who for the
past year or so was sales manager
for Rheumachol. and who was
taken up and lauded by the peo-
pie of Idaho Springs as a real
wizard of success, left some weeks
ago without leaving forwarding
address. He has been located,
however, in Kansas, where he is
promoting large sales corpora
tion.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Reports received by the Immi-
grafton Department from all sec
tions of the state indicate that the
population of Colorado is now
approximately 100000, an in
crease of about 3S percent in the
past ten years. The census bureau
found the population of the state
in 1910 to be 799,024, an increase
of As percent over that for the pre-
ceding ten years. The increase in
the decade just ending is confined
largely to the agricultural districts
and is greatest in the non-irrigated
sections of eastern Colorado.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
Senator Lodge of Massachusetts,

Senator Lodge of Massachusetts,
Republican leader of the Senate,
said this of the election in his
state: Massachusetts has spoken
1t is a national victory and means
that the American republic stands,
and will stand, unshaken. 1t is
the verdict of the United States
speaking though the people of
Massachusetts. | am proud of
the people of my state who have
thus upheld the governor and vim
dicated American principles"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

A. G. Dart left for Denver Fri
day after having taken W. L.
Shaffer's place at the assay Office
for the past two weeks. Mr..
Shaffer has been i'll.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Herbert Johnson h as been quite
seriously i'll late this week, threat
ened with what might be typhoid
fever He is reported better as
the Siftings goes to press.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Charles Devlan ST., the vener-
able civil war veteran, continues
to improve in health and now
gets out to take some exercise and
enjoy the sunshine, but he has
not vet been down town.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Gar Smith is recovering nicely
from the accident he had early
last week when he broke a small
bone in his leg while working with
lew Oliver in a mine up Fail
river He will soon be up and
,bout none the worse for the
mishap.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14

Mrs. S. B. Bitterly was here
Friday from Denver with her
brother, George Schneider. from
Chicago. She had been back to
Chicago month on a visit. 1t is
the brothers first visit to Colo
radios mounta ms.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1919-11-14
''NeW Freedom" One
Cause for H. c. of L.

Inquiring into the high cost of
living is occupying the atten-
ton of many minds lately, and
various opinions are held as to
the upper most cause and the reme-
dy most likely to prove efficacious.
In answering the query recently
sent out from state headquarters
Attorney J. W. B. Smith offers the
following as his version of the
b. C. |.
November 1st, 1918.
Hon. George Stephan,
Chairman H. 9. l.. Commission,
Denver,
My dear Governor:
/ have your favor of October
Both, propounding some questions
concerning the high cost of living.
Mainly, rs profleering respon
sible for the present high cost of
living?'
This question cannot be answer
ed by Yes, or No.
Primarily, in my opinion, the
present high cost OF living is due
to the fact that from August, 1914,
to November llth, 1918, a large
number of the producers of the
world were engaged in activities
other than producing from the
earth those things essential to the
life and comfort of man.
OF course, following this mass
movement Of man. came the camp.
follower, the selfish hoarder, the
cootie, the buzzard and the prof.
teer; these are merely incidental
Now, in our own Country, the
flood gates of Europe having been
opened, and our unselish idealism
having been worked overtime, we
are living on half loaf, at rela
tive added cost, and wearing
patched pants. to the end that the
unfortunate brother may live and
have that to cover his nakedness.
Also we must not forget, that
even in 1912, there were ''far-see-
ing" philosophical statesmen, and
advocates of some kind of un-
defined New Freedom" discussing
the question at issue; and, at the
same time, ignoring the very obvi-
Gus fact that our urban population
was rapidly increasing, and large
| ly at the expense of our rural pop
ulation
To sum it up, there are too
many people eating wheat and
too few producingit.
While l have great faith in legis-
lation, yet, l am forced to admit
that it has its limitations; possibly
the time may come when we will
have to determine that celebrated
question as to which one shall
occupy the one-m man board floating
the wild seas; in other words, the
Congress some day might stumble
upon stone, and thus, by accident
take its head from out the clouds
and view at closer range that por
ton of the earth upon which its
feet rest.
1 have to say for myself that I
have been out of the County the
past month; if the local board has
considered the question, | have
not been advised of it. l will at
once investigate, and will report to
you.
With my best personal regards.
Yours very truly,