South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-07-21
100 accidents
By Olive Roberts Barton

Reginald Kent opened the door OF
his bachelor apartment and eyed
his NAV servant with hostility
. Whether the hostility was meant
for Weller or not. Weller couldn't
say. because whenever the master
was hostile about anything, he
usually took Il out on him. In 9TH
er words. one OF his chief functions
a. man servant was 20 be the goat
a nice. polite. obseI- .ous goat
So in spite OF the hostile CLEAN
n ReginaId's eye. Weller held out
his hand for ReginaId's hat The
latter. however did not move.
Weller" he said instead, in a
tone OF stern command
Yes. sir"
viii you please place yourself
precisely behind me"
Certainly. sir" And after only
the fractional part OF an instant's
hesitation at so unusual command.
Weller obeyed One never knew
just what Mr. Kent would be want
ing newt. and Weller had learned un-
questioned obedience.
Now. Weller. kindly raise your
right foot and give me one kick
hard"
Reginald could not see him so
Weller permitted himself a slight
change OF expression. Really this
was quite unusual. more unusual
thaa-usual And he didn't move.
do as I say. Weller. instantly.
Give me a good. hard kick"
Certainly. sir" And Weller.
tentatively raising one foot, touched
his toe very delicately 10 the seat
OF Mr.. Kent's trousers.
'Oh. rats. Weller That's no
good Here. take my hat: I don't
suppose a regular old-fashioned
Salem whipping post would do any
good now. It's done. Weller. done.
And I've done it,"
Yes sir"
But II wasn't my fault. Weller
II was her fault. Shed no bust
ness going TO sleep on my shoulder
in the bus. And what's more, Miss
Alien had no business getting on at
the Circle and finding US there
asleep like two turtle doves What's
more still. you'd no business wax
ing me at all this morning. II I'd
stayed in bed all day and caught up
on about a months sleep, it wouldn't
have happened"
Not at all. sir. I'm sorry. sir
II you had given orders"
oh, have a heart. Weller. and
shut up I'm talking" Reginald
dropped into a chair. 1T sort Of re-
lieves my feelings to talk to some
one. But you're about as sympathe-
tic as a piece of cheese"
I'm sorry. Mr.. Kent I didn't IN
derstand." There was real feeling
in Weller's voice now He had his
masters permission TO be human.
rs there anything ! can do. SIR p"
Yes. just listen while L talk I'd
like 10 tell you the wi ole thing.
sort OF have a rehearsal so 10 speak.
although the shows over. Sure
enough over-the jig's up. Miss
Allen won't marry me now"
Indeed, Mr. Kent! That's too
badi'
Yes, it is too bad" sigher Regi-
mad. 1T was this way. / got on
a Fifth av. bus to come home and
that's all remember [ had sort
OF a dream then that somebody 1
knew was er-ah-rather near. and
must have put my arm around
her. In fact. / did put my arm
around her. Weller. for when a
motor horn in my ear woke me up
at the Circle. at the same time wax
ing the lady whose head rested gent
L. a. i
ciseiy what I was doing And Miss
Allen was getting on the bus. But
before 1 could fully realize the sit
uetiOn. she had turned and got OFF
again. The worst Of il was. the lady
was holding was quite young and
pretty. and although 1 never saw
her before, and don't care about
seeing her again until doomsday.
Miss Allen will never believe that il
was an accident"
1T is certainly too bad. Mr.. Kent.
I'm sorry, sir. Miss Allen is a very
fine young lady"
Fine is right, Weller And it's
list about going 10 finish me the
whole thing I've thought OF every
thing. but it's no use. There. run
along now and serve dinner. 1 need
a little reinforcing"
Yes, sir. AZ once. sir"
There. there don't turn into A
piece OF cheese again. Come back
here a minute"
Weller returned.
You don't happen 20 think Of
any way out, do you. Weller"
Weller considered a minute and
scratched his bald head
why hadn't thought OF IL.
But now you've asked perhaps-if
you'll excuse the liberty. I used 10
work for a doctor who taught me
some Latin words "Similia SINH
nbus Curantur" Maybe YOU know
what they mean, Mr.. Kent
Like cures like. OF course. but
whatever hes that got 20 do with
this" Then catching a CLEAN IN
Weller's eye. Reginald exclaimed.
Weller you're a rare article
human being with sense OF humor.
get YOU Now, just what would
YOU suggest under the circum-
stances7"