The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1919-11-16

SOLS, wen llOW uIu TIC hdiluIC lll'
subjick Larry?
This Loose-uS; LoOSe-us, did W
say Mike? | thought the lads name
was LoosciuS, but | guess you arr
right; mebbe so, as cant see how {
pair of 100 persent sane parents
should wish name like LooScius
on any one, even a helpless infant
! Loose-is right and "LoOse-us he die
from a little coin somebody in poOl
Brunswick; either the Board Of
Trade or some of the disinterested
patriots aforesaid; boosting the new
government; How much ye say?
do not know, but whatever it was
it would have been acceptable to
Doc. Todds Septic Tank fund and
far more benehshul. But oman, !
want We views. Well Mike, his
thayories were as beautiful as Edens
garden bird, and as numerous as
holes in a Swiss cheeS: as to figures,
he diSdained them: as to the facts
Mike, they were, as Omar Karyam
says, non est demonStrandum ct
non compoS mentis. Mike, II bet
you a pint of real Irish whiskey a9in
a pint of rain water, that if all the
thayorieS that LooSe-uS ever put in
practice were rip-resinted by medals
he would have to stick it III his
pants pocket and add his knife and
knife and bunch of kays to make ii
rattle, Larry. says Mike, that's a
very rash statement to make; Did
he liver show you his collection Of
medals-naw Mike; then why do
YOU say he hasn't got EN-? for all
you know Larry, he may have the
Andy Carnigay medal for bravery
in reScuing the citiZinS Of Plutonia
from the rava9eS of Pluto Water, or
Of the burg Of Siedltiz from the eff
fects Of them cllibrated powders;
Nav, Mike its like I'm telling We; he
just amt got en-. But why are you
so sartin Larry? Because, if the
theories advanced by this Loose-us
boy we're practical, all the cities in
this grand and glorious country
would have adopted thin long ago,
inStid of the few unfortunate COM
munitieS who are trying out this
new style, from stress Of cirCum-
stances, from the effects Of storm,
peStilince and famine from which SO
far Mike, the good Lord has deliv-
cred us; and all the cities where in
telIigince predominates and til c
wind TANNERS and trouble makers
are locked up in the KaIaboose hav
| ing adopted it, in the language Of
me frind Tomrnie Moore, Life would
be one sweet, sweet dream Sure
Larry says Mike, and if the trouble
makers and WindjanmerS i'll this
city were doctored according to
their diseases, | could sleep for swim
hours on a stretch without being
haunted by the SpectreS of anarchy
lowering this wole land, But Mike
what did the LooSe-uS say, didn't
hear very well not having a good
seat says Larry; Well, says Mike
he leave the station Oh time, with
the system Of government at the
period when oul ANCESTORS used the
rock and brick bat as an ar6ymint
ran behind time, owing to the floods
betWiXt Noah and Dayton, Ohio
made up the lost time between the
Magma Chartu and Christopher
Joiumbus, side wiped George
Washington, and barely avoided d
aead On collision with independence
md Armistice days, and ran into
he station with all his coal gone,
aever neglected al opportunity to
loot his whistle at every crossing on
the road for Commission Form OF
Government. but for why, or on
what ground except the statement
ny him that it was J.! good thing,
was not disclosed He showed his
descent from the animal ridden by
)nr old friend Baalam the Prophet
/ y prophesyinG that if we didn't &C
1>pt the opportunity offered by
Commission Government in the con-
Ing election, that we would, some
timc in the beautiful future" turn
9Ver in our graves as our grand
chlIder would blister our names with
/ innethemerS. He says, pointing
lis finger at Us, I dare We togo the
| oils in the coming election and
%0I vote me tIrket" and dropping
nto POETRY says,
If you do, I'm from another State,
And will not share your fate
/ do not have to live here,
So will leave you to your fate"
the krooI lad. | say Mike, Won
Ter how many cities he has had to
cave to their fates? Divil a bit
know says Mike: All Of them
,aould think, that ever had the op-
)Ortunity TO hear him.
But Larry, what was the Widow
ialleger on the rampage about?
Nonderedwhat adameat her age was