South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-05-16
The Tower
of Babel
By Bill Armstrong

I
meeting up with brother undertake
ers ali along the route, the South
Bend delegation or the way 10 the
international Kivanis convention at
Bin mingham, Ala, reached here late
his afternoon. Undertaken Jones is
evidently intending 10 bury quite a
J lot Of people outside OF South Bend
during the summer. He spent the
] day meeting undertakers on the
route 10 Louisville 70 secure mailing
lists OF good prospects.
south Send members Of the XII
wants club are on their way 10 the
convention for the purpose of elect
| ing Louie az. Hammerschmidt first
vice president Of the international
organization. They are travelling in
motor cars and seem 10 be enjoying
| the trip REGARDING the personnel OF
the crowd, Mr.. Hammerschmidt
stated that he did not believe they
would do him any harm at the con-
vention or, comma. any good par
ticularlN. The members OF the South
| Bend party besides Mr. Hammer
schmidt ;nd the well known under
taker and county treasurer candi-
cate are Guy McMichael and We
editor delegates 10 the convention,
Ecnest P.0waty, the fruit man; e.
b. Stced OF every inch a clothing
store: GeOrgc NJ. Platner, the popu-
lar cigarist; George T.. Dimel, Of the
largest dealer in retail shoes in the
world, and William Nichols. who
4
other birds from South Bend,
who didn't have the nerve TO make
the trip in autos, are expected TO
join the party in Birmingham.
Lloyd Greenan had the lumbago
and could not make the trip. Tom
Brandon was too busy getting up his
friendly Sunday add TO come along.
Joe Donahue had a roof to measure
and Doc Geyer was too busy pull
ing teeth. There is no available in
formation here in Louisville as TO
why the balance of the South Bend
club could not attend.
Providing that everybody gets up
on time and Mr.. Palmer can locate
his extra collar, the party will leave
here early tomorrow TO continue on
the way to the Alabama city. Moth
ing of any particular interest has &C
CURED thus far. or course its too
early to begin boasting. but nobody
has been thrown out of any of the
business houses Of Louisville yet.
Like Jake Heckaman's annual
Ford excursion, this trip to Birm-
ingham will be. covered in detail in
these columns by a expert. Better
order your paper now from your
nearest newsdealer.
Brown county. Ind, where Abe
Martin Of the indianapolis News
lives, hadn't heard Of the Victory
loan until the South Bend Kiwanis
club blew in on their way TO Birm-
ingham. One of the South Bend ma
chimes needed some gasoline and the
garage was located on the main
street in connection with a picture
show and the post office. Able
Martin was out in front and was
interviewed by your wide awake
industrious correspondent.
Mr.. Martin stroked his whiskers
extracted a few cookie burrs and
spoke az follows:
II see they have finally perfected
the automobile. BY gum l never
thought it could be did. ] seen in a
paper around a berry crate that was
brought into the county by someone
the other day that some of the big
ger cities are also connected up by
telephone. Pears to me they would
be right smart dangerous in storms
but this younger generation haint
afraid to take a chance no stree.
also seen in that paper that some OF
them there smart aleck kings i'm Eu-
rope were acting kinder nasty. They
better watch that German kaiser oil
the first thing you know he'll be
starting trouble"
Here. one of the South Bend party
interrupted Mr.. Martin to tell him
that there had been a war. and ne
remarked:
We'll, they have had mighty nice
weather for it, anyway, haint they p
Mr.. Martin was then informed
that the war was all over now and
that South Bend has just gone over
in the Victory loan. raising over
s. 100000 He didn't believe il. and
explained:
"Oh. shaw, YOU smart alexis drive
on. | haint so slow. You can't kid a
TELLER that has been up to Indern-
apolis and everything Ez Pash here
in town is the richest Teller around
here and he's only worth about
S4O0. Four million dollars why ]
don't believe all the breweries have
got that much money"
This switched the subject to pro
hibitiOn. Mr.. Martin SEE he didn't
believe prohibition would ever 20
through.
The prohibitionists never will get
no where in this country" declared
Abe emphatically-and then the
South Bend party left him suddenly
feeling that ne was too much behind
the times 10 converse with
! Five hundred copies of south
Bend Today" the official publication
Of the South BEND Chamber OF Com
merce are being carried 10 Birming-
ham in the Kiwanis machines to ad-
vertise South Bend and introduce