Americus times-recorder., 1919-12-14

Club had its little evening Of fun
with public men and things at it's
opening winter dinner tonight.
Headed by Vice-President Mar
shall, cabinet members, ambassadors
and ministers of the diplomatic corps,
and members of congress, large
guest list included scores of men
well known in public and private
life.
Nothing was spared from the ira
dltlonal gridiron. The railroad prob
lem, prohibition, the labor situation,
woman suffrage, reform and other
topics in the public eye came in for
their share of good humored treat
ment.
Members of the club, principally
Washington correspondents, took the
parts Of the actors in the skits which
did the "Gridironing" on these sub
lacts.
AS the capital, like the remainder
of the country now has dry ban
quets, or at least is supposed to, it
seemed appropriate that one of the
skits should be on "Moonshine."
A company of moonshiners
preparing some ''brew" was shown
and some of the dialogue included
the following "jabs"
Raided Marse Henry.
"There amt no place where its
more needed"
Speaking of books on the subject,
see by the papers that the prohibi-
ton enforcement agents raided the
Office of The Saturday Evening post
and confscated six installments of
Her-v Waterson's memoirs =
HAS it got any kick in it,"
'Kick, well you ought to see the
way it keeled over Morris Sheppard
and Wes Jones the other day"
'T see President Marshall's S
here Did you hear him order the
senate galleries cleared the other
day when we cheered Jim Reed?"
"Oh, yes, that's the oldest Noon
shine around here"
81 suppose you read that Josephus
Daniels thinks he has presidential
boom?"
That's Moonshine off green
cheese"
Speaking for the Old Solid Demo
cratic Party, nominate the best
known moonshine dispenser of the
day. Mr.. Will H. Hays, chairman of
the Republican National Committee. :"
''On behalf of the United States
Republican Party, progressive and re-
dictionary factions, suggest there is
no finer connoisseur of moonshine
than Mr.. Homes S. Cummings, chair
man of the Democratic National
Committee"
1t was decided to present both
chairman with bottle of "Moon-
shine" The bottles, they were told
were reliable"
Unscrambling the Rails.
The railroad skit dealt with 'un-
scrambling the railroads. The ac-
tors represented former Director
General McAdoo, Director General
Hines and An Investor.
McAdoo-" -"The late Mr. Morgan
said that you cannot unscramble
eggs. He was wrong. By the exer-
else of a little magic, to which we
rnodestly lay claim, we shall illus
trate how the railroads of the Unit
ed States may be scrambled and then
in the twinkling of an eye, as it
were, and so to speak, unscrambled
again. Can anyone loan me a silk
hat | shall return it promptly and
entirely undamaged."
Man steps forward with silk hat.
He is Mr.. Investor, we'll known cit
izen.)
McAdoo-'I shall return it with
its pristine beauty untarnished."
Investor" -"Please be careful
That hat represents the sale of a
Liberty Bond"
McAddo-"Tut, tut-have no fear
we shall not hurt it in the slight
est. I shall break this egg into the
hat-so- (breaks and drops egg and
shell into the hat).
Investor-"Oh, my hat"
McAdoo Passes Buck.
McAddo-"Tut, tut-sir Have
no fears. Trust me. Kindly turn
your back What you don't see
won't annoy you. Now we take an
other egg and break it-so. Now
we take some four-add some coal
pour in some of this agreeable varie-
ty Of ketchup-add little sand
and finish with a dash of vinegar.
Please don't groan, Mr., Investor.
1t is all right. All these ingredients
are ymbolc, gentlemen. Now we
have the roads scrambled This com
pletes my part of the trick. shall
now pass the buck--I mean the hat
to my friend, Mr. Hines, who will, in
his magic wayn with a few passes
produce the beautiful rabbit know as