The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1919-04-11
COUSIN DAVIS WRITES COUSIN
PERCY ABOUT THREATENED RICHES

YOUR own funeral. There are others
ways which I have seen put into
practice, but which / have never
tried. For instance again, on sales
DAYS down this way lot of land is
sold Now you can attend these
sales but never get there until the
last minute, and then be smoking a
cigar which cost at least Nickel
and stand around and look wise, and
if you know somebody will beat your
bid, make a dash or two at tract
of land. When it is knocked down
to the other fellow say that he paid
all it is worth, and that you do not
want to buy anything unless you can
make a thousand or two dollars out
of it.
Now some people try this in a
small way at country sales. Refer
ing to this way of talking rich, my
friend Col. Pat Roche, one of the
ablest setback players in the city,
has a habit of attending all country
sales. He starts everything at a
quarter and never bids over one sew
enty-fve> on anything, even though
it may be binder for binding grain.
But at one of these country sales
you have to be sharp especially if it
is cried by a town auctioneer, or he
may knock something down on you.
Friend Pat went out to sale here
the other day and tried his old tac-
tics on Auctioneer Hollingsworth
and before Pat knew it he had
bought hamper basket full of old
backbands, worn out plows, broken
axe-handles, old collar pads, and 9TH
er such junk. Before he got away
from there he had bought over two
hundred dollars worth of trunk
ery", and all his friends were dodg-
ing him for fear he might want to
borrow the money to pay for it. :,
Another thing about getting rich
is to have the indigestion and gener-
al debility. You must complain, of
it, and of your different diseases
nearly all the time, and if you are
game, and do not mind spending a
little it would not be a bad idea to
go to a hospital and have your toe
nails trimmed, or your appendix Ia
ken out, though this latter thing is
now getting very common even with
poor folks. I have not read up on
the new diseases lately, but I have
been. thinking the matter over and
I have about decided that I will not
be operated on until they get a sim
pie disease with big name, where
they do not charge too much for the
operation. Style in riches and the
things which 60 along with riches
are just like any other article of
merchandise, you must always buy
as cheap as possible, but talk about
the expense all the time. People
will then say that, eff had as much
money as old rich Kerr would just
have both legs cut off instead of one
and pay for them, for fear that if
only one is cut off the other one
might bother me in the future and
I ould have to stop to have it cut
off hich would be taking double
time"
Another thing which you should do
when rich lis to complain always of
being poor, and badly~in need of
money, when a collection is to be
taken up for the poor man. You can
not be rich and give away too much
money. I have tried that and have
never drawn any interest on all the
money which 1 have given away. 1
do not mean that you must not ad-
vocate being liberal, but you must
insist that the people commence CIV
ing at the bottom. Say to them that
the rich have the other rich on their
hands and the poor must first take
care of the poor, and then if any
thing else is needed the rich will
think about it, and maybe remember
them in their prayers. But make a