davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
LOOKING AFTER WAR BRIDES

- where Lieutenant No 2 shines as dip lemat and at the same time. prepares himself for a terrific barrage of mixed French and English. The French brides arc naturally disturbed when they see the ship, the only part of their bodies visible being their heads, which protrude from open portholes.
 "Oh, mon lieutenant" they invariably excaim. Lieutenant No. musters all the pacifying French he can command in one sentence.
 "Oh. mon lieutenant what is that that it is that, my pauvre husband he is in- side? I not see him now, mo-
 And then the commissioned Sir Walter whose husband hasn't shown his face through portbole. perhaps because he isn't lucky enough to get near one, that the husbands will be given freedom aboard the ship. and can be seen often. And then usually somebody in the crowd compress and becomes the interpreter for all.
 More than 200 brides have gone to the United States so far, and as many as 10 or 15 arrive in Brest in day. When told that, if practicable, they will go on the same boat with ther husbands, they assault the lieutenants verablly. They want to see the states and embrak im- mediately.
 "But Brest, c'est terrible, nous no like the vile. Nos husbands he no like the camp
 Or they demand that they see their husbands immediately, even though said husbands might be walking post or be OF detail in Pontanezen, which isn't be- , cause the brides are different from Amer jeans, but simply that they think their particular husband is a hero and that there ought to be plenty of romance in this army. Then Lieutenant No. 1 makes his final speech and does a quick exit, if the brides don't exit first. He ex- plains to them about army discipline, about certain hours during the day when even foreign-tied husbands can't neglect their duties or even their slum, in order that their wives might feel more secure through their presence.
 The lieutenant, after waiting breath lessly for fraction of minute, dis covers whether they understand. and if they do there always follows an audac- ioas shrug of the shoulders with ''Allons we find my husbands" and out they saunter, back to the Y. w. c. A. hostess house.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
"FightinE ParsOnc Fishes

T understood that some friends in Bir- mingham had quite a time in trying to reach me at Midway over long distance and by wire,' said Chaplain Emmett F. Smith, the fighting parson' of the 167tn. who recently spoke here at Temple Eman- u-El and at the Howard College Alumni banquet. "The truth is I got away from town to have a rest. All the time I was in France I promised myself if I ever got back home safe, one of the first things l was going to do if it was fishin' time, was to dig me some bait, for I am no fam cy fly fisherman, and hie me down to the creek bank and just fish and fish and smoke and smoke and doze and doze and pretend that I was a barefoot boy again. I was out on one of the nearby streams with can of worms, a sack Of tobacco, and bamboo pole, realizing my dream when the messages kept pouring into my home town.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
A House In "A Hours

While it has not been my pleasure to meet you since the good old days when you were secretary of the Commercial club,'' writes Joseph Beitman to the au- thor of the For the Good of the Commu- nity articles, T have nevertheless been deeply interested in what you have to say For the Good of the Community
 My object in addressing you today is in reference to When Birmingham Houses Were Built in One Day.
 q think that you will still find a few six or eight room houses on Avenue E between Twenty-third and Twenty-fourth streets that were built inside of "A hours by the Elyton Land company in 1886.
 Said houses were not only built inside of 24 hours but they were occupied inside of 24 hours after the work began on them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Up the Starry Way

T had quite an amusing scene with one of the old family darkeys on my return from duty,' said Ensign Eugene Duna. way, who was in the flying corps "Un- I heerd about you being one of dem bird men, who flies around in de skies. In you migrating around above de clouds did ye ever git sight of St. Peter. and wus de door shot or wide open?' I told the old man that I never did exactly get a glimpse of Peter rattling his keys. but at one time flew so high that I heard Ga briel practising on his horn. He bowed his thanks and ambled away, talking to himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
LUKE MLUKE SAYS

A preacher is about the only man who
 is too willing to work overtime at his
 trade. A man will worry almost as much over a boil as a Princess will over a pimple And if you would eliminate the He sez' portion of girls chatter there wouldn't be anything left. The nastiest way to knock another man is to say of him in patronizing way: "Oh, he means well.'' The transparent skirts reveal the fact that there are a lot of girls who have no business wearing them. Just because a woman stands for 10 minutes in front of show window is no sign that she is interested in the goods displayed therein. She may be using the window for mirror. The trouble with most fellows who have spring fever is that they make spring last 365 days
 The reason why June bride agrees with everything he says right now is be-
 cause she isn't going to agree with any, thing he says a year from now. There are a lot of cheap looking things in the world. But nothing else looks quite as cheap as cheap jewelry. Imagination is good thing But you should not let it run away with you to the extent that you refer to the lady with the big hips and the red tights in a , burlesque show as an actress. It is mighty hard for man to look sad when he is attending the funeral of an old grouch who has just died and left him l $350, 900.
 , There are so many grouches in the world that any man can gain distinction by being cheerful.
 The trouble with poverty is that fl l makes folks economize on soap more than anything else.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Max Made Good

My friend, Max Wellborn is fond or telling joke on himself" says Alex Walker, for he said it was turning point in his life. He relates how when youth he went to Montgomery and' through political pull, got job, sine cure, which paid him 8 day without requiring any real labor. After the ses- sion adjourned, having gotten a taste Tor life about the capitol he made application to Walter White. who was then auditor, and from Barbour county, for a regular place in his department, but was uncere- moniously turned down with the caustic remark: Max, I have noted you carefully since you have been on duty, and you are the laziest white boy I ever saw Max says he had never given the subject any thought, but that it set him to thinking and he went back to Eufaula determined to show his friends that he could not only work but save. I can say for him that he has more than made good or wouldn't ever have told the story to a newspaperman."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
From the Stars and Stripes.

From the Stars and Stripes.
 N NICE the early days in January S when the troop movement bureau at IS Brest, started establishing records for speed in loading troops, French wives of American soldiers have been arriving for transfer to the states. Obviously, something had to be done to make them feel at home under the new conditions.
 So now we have Lieutenant No. |, whose duties consist in being responsible for the comfort, care and maintenance of the French wives from the time they arrive at the railroad station at Brest until Lieutenant No. takes charge of ducts them to a waiting transport in the outer harbor. The latter's duties are "fineeH when the transport leaves Brest.
 In other words, these two lieutenants are courtesy dispensers when it comes to catering to the wishes of these re- gently made Americans. The problem Of politely and expeditiously handling these additions to the A. E.. F. on the home going proposition is a delicate one. It used to be that when buck private blew into the railroad station at Brest and thrust his own orders and the orders for his bride before the clerk, business suspended until the force, including even the M. F., who blocks the exit, had seen her. Now it has become bit monoton- ous, and colonels and others, who in the early days were delayed because the checking force at the station wasn't on the job, go through this process quickly.
 The brides are now the guests of the Y. W. C. A. until they depart. Their head quarters is the hostess house at Brest. Accommodations, however, are limited, and there are certain American women in Brest who appear when the hostess house is crowded. So the French brides, sometimes accompanied by mothers, and always with an enviable collection or boxes, bags, sutcases and trunks, each weighing as much as doughboys pack and equally distributed among the mem- bers of the party, find themselves in a massive chateau facing the bay which forms the harbor and gateway home for great majority of the A. E. F.
 Now, if Lieutenant No. 2, representing the army transport service, can arrange
 it, Mr. Husband is sent aboard the same boat as Mrs. Wife. But the wives find themselves up above, with white-coated, ebony-faced stewards, floating silently among the staterooms, executing various ssks while the husbands are slowed away in the troop compartments down below.
 Then comes the tangle. and here is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07

that might have inspired an artist. They afforded a striking illustration
 of the situation in the Birmingham district where there are hundreds of soldiers seeking employment. They are to be seen sitting on park benches, like many of the human derelicts who frequent such places and are down, never to rise again. Surely, the plight of our soldiers must appeal to every citizen with a spark of patriot ism in his bosom and gleam of grati- tude for what these men did in France.
 Officials of the United. States em- ployment service are having difficulty in finding work for the numerous ap- plicants. This should not be so. It lis reflection on the Birmingham dis trict which has war record second to none in the country, for commu- nifty of similar size.
 It has been said many times, but it is worth saying again. The least we can do for a discharged soldier is to give him a chance to earn a liveli- hood. That isn't asking much, when we consider what these men went through for us and this country of ours.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
OXFORD IS ALIVE AGAIN

From the Manchester (Eng) Guardian.
 Oxford once more exists. Since January the ghosts have been trickling back, and signs of life have been accumulating-. old faces and new faces Americans, Co lonials and Englishmen. The colleges are full and there is not lodging to be had.
 More than 600 freshmen, including mora than 100 Americans, are announced, but there is reason to believe that the actual number of new residents is about 1000, fl we add in those who are recommending an association broken by the war. Balliol is known to have more undergraduates in residence this term than ever before in her history, and most colleges seem to bo within 25 per cent of their previous maxi num- This means that about half of every college are freshmen or quasi freshmen. The university and the colleges. still short of service and of tutors owing to gaps, temporary or periiahehe' oouae" by the war; are hard put to It to digest the influx, and in spite of the relaxation of various restrictions on unders at lsN lodgings, the lodging house aceonfr9ae tior barely suffices for present isessi
 In the colleges the subject of Iale 'nor n,ent is the cost of living. Great efserts are being made to keep charges down ps new economies.
 Among the legislative measur affect ing the university. one which z ss eS pected will be enacted, is a statlse grant ing degrees to women students. $ an derstood that when war broke aut 1914 form of statute was neal rsa '.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Bed For Sanitorium

"We are getting move on us," said pr. Eaves. Almost before breakfast this morning I had a call which brought me in contact with lady who desired to give bed to the Mary Rumph Mem- orial for tuberculous child the bed it. self to be in memory of a little niece. These things go close to the heart. Their fitness is poetically beautiful I men tion it so that perhaps others may catch the idea. At the same time I thank this donor. thank the donors of five other beds for the same institution. Twenty five bedsc in all will be needed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Happy Years In Birmingham

T put in some happy years in Birming
 ham, said Harry L. Strickland, the Sun day school expert, who now lives in Nash vile. 'I, however, am greatly enjoying my opportunities in reaching Southern Baptists through the organized class work of the board. It requires me to travel a great deal as there are r states to be covered. I stopped by to see pr. A. K. Wright and others in reference to putting on a demonstration of our work at the Sunday school convention to be held at Howard college in the near future.
 take part in a state programme. I reckon I can count myself a fixture in Nashville as I have recently bought me home. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
NEW SORT OF DEMAGoGUE

NEW SOkkE OF' DEMAGOGUE
 From the Montgomery Evening Adver- tiser.
 An interesting pen picture of the Rus sian proletarian dictator, Lenine. Is given in a radical magazine published in America.
 We are assured that this parsonage idolized by the Red rabble of Moscow, Is
 a dandy. ''He looks like writer, wears eye glasses, manicures his hands daily slaves every night, and is one of the life," says the writer.
 While this parsonage, in the days of the Czar, was engaged in revolutionizing Russia from safe retreats in London, Ge-
 neva and Paris, we are assured by his admirer, that he maintained the estab- lishment rather incongruous with what we might expect from a leader of the pro- letariat:
 Lenine lives like any other aristocrat He surrounds himself with comfort and beauty. In London, in Paris, up to the outbreak of the war. he had houses of his own. Body servants took excellent care of him, stenogra phers and secreta- ries attended to his business. I remem- Der once in London about nine years ago. he received draft for 100000 rubles; in Paris regularly each month 30 to 40 thou sand francs Money became scarce after 1 1914. But Lenine remained the same in dress and in his mode of living. Like all | of us revolutionaries Lenif1e had to keep | two and three residences at the same | time.
 His living rooms are SumptuouSly fur- nished. He loves beautiful, soft and pie turesque carpets. The furniture must be | solid and of quiet, unassuming style, The hangings are arranged in a certain
 way and the colors must harmonize l His dressing room shows his tastes and 1 inclinauons. An ebony toilet set is very conspicuous on the table. Each piece rep 1 resents wonderful workmanship. He uses 1 for years the same kind of toilet water
 and perfume: Lily of the Valley. He is
 one of the best groomed men wherever he
 appears. His suits are well cut, of ex- | CeptlOndllv good TndteTldl, diWdyS udTh | sedate, unassuming but distinguished. His dressers and trunks contain several thou | sands of dollars worth of silk under | wear and shirtings."
 l Nor is that all. According to his Bos- we'll, the revolutionary great man does
 not care particularly for the hoi polloi
 His ideal is world of aristocrats, and breeding and intellect are the pass
 words of admission to his society. l All of which is likely to make the Amer I ican demagogue, who ofttimes affects a ''plainness' foreign to his real character l inquire of his Russian contemporary
 How do you get away with it?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
OF LITTLE THINGS

By Clinton Scollard. many things there be that lure
 Aye, many little things there be:- The fern-rimmed forest fountain pure,
 The dancing, frail ephemerae ; he lunar moths first stirrings when
 It bursts from out it's rough cocoon; me wood thrush fluting from the glen
 In early watches of the moon; 2 ie moss rose as it bursts it's sheath;
 The flame breast of the oriole; A ords that like subtle altar. breathe
 A something fragrant from the soul; Tae tender touch of loving hands; : The arm that clasps, the lip that clings < I. is it strange my heart expands
 At the sweet lure Of little things!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
ARE YOU HA,NTEDs
.om the London Times.

From the LOnuOn IlmeS.
 Haunted or Disturbed Properties-A lady who has deeply studied this sub- ject and possesses unsual powers will find out the history of the truble and undertake to remedy it. Houses with persistent bad luck can often be freed from the influence. Strictest con- fidence. Social references asked and off, fered, Zonke, Box z, 176, The Times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Promise of Large
 Food Production

TIT HE excessive rainfall in May and 0 in the early part of the first week of June was disheartening to the Alabama farmer, but with the coming of fair weather there is prom ise of large food crops.
 There is good stand of corn. The
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
NO PROFITEERS.

Those new arrivals at Seaview Inn seem to be quite wealthy" "They are prudent, too.'' "How's that?' ''They had been here only a few days when they contrived to get the word passed around that they amassed every dollar of their fortune before the war started"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
oLD-FAsHIoNED CIDER

From the Houston Post
 The proposition to organize a hard cider party comes so years too late. Few people drink real cider any more. and the kind that spits in your face when you draw the corncob stopper out of the jug would be a stanger to the average American city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
THE RAIN AND THEN SOME.

The rain, the rain, The drenching rain Descends with all it's might and main Upon the fragile window pane. It fills the yard, oerruns the yard And makes a river of the lane And spreads out over all the plain. It stops-the sun shines-back again It comes and falls until you fain Would swear and rave and te>~ your
 mane.
 It gets your goat and gives a pain; It spells your temper-father's cane Descends upon the youthful swain For no cause-just the darned old rain It spells the cotton and the grain, It spells the tracks beneath the train. It mildews clothes, that dreadful bane Of housewives. I am sure Mark Twain Could get no humor from this rains
 Adam Yank.
 Since this contribution was received Old Sol-baseballese for the sun-has re- stunned operations with his customary fer vor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
SINS FASCINATION
om the Kansas City Times.

From the Kansas City Times,
 Dr. Frank Crane tells the American Magazine the four most interesting sub. ects in the world are: Love, money. danger. goodness. Maybe so But don'i people find badness rather more interest ing to read about than goodness?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07

BEGINNING THE DAY-Help me, 0 God, to try one more time. Give me added strength for one more great effort. Teach me that the gold may be within one spade thrust. that the crust may even now be trembling to break, that the adversary may already be turning to flee. For Christ's sake. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
AFFECTED SUPERIORITY.

You've been talking over that tele- phone for 45 minutes by my watch. growled MT. Gadspur
 Well, what of it?' answered Mrs. Cad spur, indignantly. Mrs. Twobble and 1 are going to several shops tomorrow afr ternoon and we were trying to decide where we'd 30 first"
 Suffering. snakesr' And yet you wom- en want to vote! Why. I could have mapped out transcontinental tour n less time than that"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Member of the Associated Press

The Age-H Herald Is the only morning and Sunday newspaper in Birming ha al carrying the Associated Press d!s- patches
 The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use for publication oI all news dispatch $ credited to IL or not otherwise credited in this paper and also ths local news publlshed herein.
 All rights of republication of special dispatches herein are also reserved
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
ApuI1MM1Aaussll
SURE TO BE LATE
From the Houston Post.

 A Missouri town has sold its cala- boose for s9e with bone-dry's approach These Missourians are eager sort of folks Our last report is that the millennium is far behind scheeaA1c -~s> losing time right along.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Unemployed Soldiers
 In Birmingham District


 TIE other day two discharged sol- S diers, both of them wearing in- signia that showed honorable service overseas, were standing in front of the bulletin board of an employment agency wistfully reading an announce ment written with piece of chalk. Neither of these boys had the spick and span appearance of men in the ranks. Their uniforms, even more than their faces, showed that they have not been living in the lap of lux ury since they left the army.
 The two soldiers presented a study
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

short of ocular proof will convince him that gasoline pump can deliver the goods"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
4 DIxIAN ECHO

From the New York Herald
 If anybody attempts to pull down the American flag from a German ship seized by the United States in the course of the war, shoot him on the spoti
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Famous Battleships
 Will Be Strapped

IMPOSING in size, mighty in arma N ment and costly in construction, in a few years the greatest battleship afloat becomes merely an "old tub" and is usually shot to pieces as tar get or sent to the scrap heap.
 It is Impossible to view the passing of these fighting craft without a re- gret that the money and ingenuity so lavishly expended on them cannot pro- long their service. Nothing more forcibly illustrates the folly of great armaments than the fact that a bat tleship may become out of date even before it is finished and in 10 or 12 years it is almost as antiquated in the opinion of naval experts as the Monitor or the Merrimac.
 A Washington dispatch states that 12 predreadnaught battleships will be placed out of commission and probably broken up for junk or used as targets. They belong to the mixed battery type now hopelessly outclassed by modern fighting craft. Four of the squadron, the historic Oregon, Iowa, Indiana and Massachusetts, have already been sent to the scrap heap. The others are the Kearsarge, Kentucky, Illinois, Alabama, Wisconsin, Maine, Missouri and Ohio. They were built between 1893 and 1901 at cost for hulls and machinery alone of more than $9O,- GOO, ,0O0.
 At the time these ships were built they were considered among the most powerful craft afloat, but during the war with Germany they could only be used as training ships or units of coast defense. Slow in speed, with small coal capacity, inferior ordnance and insufficiently protected against mod ern projectiles, these vessels, once the pride of our navy, would have been practically helpless in such naval en- gagement as that off Jutland.
 The historic Oregon has been of- fered to the state of Oregon as mem- orial and it is probable that the offer will be accepted. It is proposed to sink some of the ships in shoal water near the entrance to the more inn portant American harbors, converting them into permanent forts. A senti- mental interest attaches to everyone of these vessels. It is sad to think of them doomed to an ignoble fate, but that is the memorable law of naval construction. A battleship out of date is more of liability than an asset.
 # x x
 Unemployed Soldiers
 In Birmingham District
 k1GJIIEr 1+Lo- J,x, +,ro
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-06-07
Washington bureau. POT HibDs Dnd-

Washington bureau, POT Hibbs pliu- ing.
 European bureau 10 King street. Covent Garden. London, w. C. Z'
 Eastern business office. World build ing, New York city; western business office Tribune building, Chicago. The $. c. Beckwith Special Agency, agents for foreign advertising.