New-York tribune., 1919-11-23

Girl" We grow up on the stage in q
narrow atmosphere, or destiny leads
us kindly into some experience that is
beautiful in real life. Women, fancy,
are always waiting for that experience,
happy when they find it. bored when
they don't, embittered if it fails to
come true when it happens.
Ten years ago | had just one ex-
preston of life, which was dancing;
one unfaising influence of gayety,
which was music. They belong to-
gether, they are partnership of fine
spiritual meaning. They were to me,
though ! never could have understood
myself that way ten years ago.
Music has always been the magic of
my being. | lived and stirred to music.
1 did not know then that there were
secret melodies in the heart. | did
not know that they were born of ro-
nance, of love, of those perfect days
that lie between the first and the last
great days which bind the heart of a
woman forever in the tender folds of
their memories.
On every day, each day page in
that small volume of romance that was
so generously given me, there was a
song without words, too wonderful for
words. Their echo haunts me. Look
ing Backward | wonder who that being
how to dance to the music of romance.
The only thing that makes it possible
for me to interpret myself at all is
the echo of the music that was in those
swift years of~happiness, of spiritual
horizons and. perfect growth.
Perhaps we are all born too blind
10 see, too dull to hear. too weak of
purpose, or voice, or vision to grass
the .ecrets of romance until they are
INF tod i'll
me that | myself had neved adjusted
the cryptic signs TIL ,hev were .rans-
lated for me, by the same Richard that
had trans ated the inner sous of all
the $50 diers of Fortune" he had writ
ten about and mmortalized.
| always hid thrt sense of pleasure
IN rhythym that children have; music
made me van 20 dance. From the u.me
was TOUR .ears old, music was the
whispering srritc that teased and tor
mented my imagination. | wanted hap
2incss and ne nearest approach had
10 II cam IN iaNcinr Thee y q,
lndescribable elation of heart and mind
When my IimDs uere on wires .nu ny
heart was bursting. Then the music
stopped, the applause ended, and
sank back into the cngmatical being.
Ressie, McCoy-the dancer. | had
worked well, or poorly. according to
moments IF ha Noir"ss in the dance
and then they were gone.
Inc soc oc.a.lC..S the theater were
my world Tor SO many years that
scarcely expected to know anv Other.
Aappress eluded me. it came with all
he intense wonder Of joyous expecta-
Ten to the music of d dance and it
Fanlshed IN the dressing room of the
thcater. These were times of boarding
mouse tortures, OF grim trains, of bad
hotels, OF the Bohemia where | was
born an" where ] rclQN,. Only r,usic
tormented me with longings l could not
graz. ~ .:guC Al i, n
could not seize, with transient emo
tions that were counterfeit happiness,
and yet seemed real to me. Because of
thee movus nat lurad me on. because
n them found strength and emancipa-
tion from sordid facts, because music
stirred the si.ences of my being my
dancing had an individuality that was
myself.
| can talk about these transitions
now as | could not then. To under
stand the impulses of life one must
ENJOY them at the time, even though
later there is the texture of tinsel in
their plendor. Obs.inacy rebellion.
were always going on in me. If dane
ing lad not been what it was to me, a
gayety of spirit, an irresponsive pas
sion OF Ion gag TO expires, something i
had found no other way to express,
the theater would have failed me.
1t satisfied me just as far as it led
my impulses, and il solved the practi-
cal issues, the bread and butter prob
lems that had not been denied me.
When | danced my spirit was in the
sun, and between times the sun lin
gered IN my heart, its glow an optim-
ISM that kept me hopeful | was not
IKE some people who s ut themselves
up away from the sunlight, as if win
dows have been left out in them So
was happy as na,ure seems in the
moonlight. she dowy sort of happi-
ness, waiting happiness, all still and
peaceful. buC waiting.
Ihese are the experiences, no doubt
OF many other women who must wait
for the miracle itself Most women
wait for the perfect day in those silent
reverles of great expectatiols. Women
have duality in themselves that
makes the struggles of their lives. The
perpiexlng nys.er. of the women is
romance. If it only comes true-there
IS the question of all questions to a
woman If V doesn't, tie fault often
lies IN the blindness, or the vanity. or
tie greed OF a woman's nature, for it
Will always come true if you are true
10 it,
The heart of a dancer is expressed
an her dancing; if it isn't the sponta-
nelty of me dancer is missing Be
true. and above all, wed to the idola-
try of the men you love- Responsible
ity IN woman's heart lies in her re-
sponsiveness to him. If the romance
gets twisted and scatters, cling to the
1doi with all your strength, for ro-
nance often has perverse wavs Of ac-
compilshing its purposes. If he fails
YOU be sure of it,
1t would be absurd to think about
these things at all ii they were pur-
poseless thought. In myself there is
me story of many other women in the
tneater. Therefore, it seems worth
%hile to trace the shadows and the
depths of one experience.
My disadvantages OF education were
silght after all. for | see now that we
each nave voice of our own for ex.
press'on, form, a face and a spirit
iight 70 show Us forward as we pass
along. With such things education has
nothing to do. There are so many
women IN the world without the devo,
tton and the care Of man who car
educate them through their hearts
lhe delight of finding that out, the dis
eovery tnat man can take spirit
lamp o. your life and hold it frr,lv 70,
you TIL you see further and cleare,
ana better than be ore is a m rac,.