The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-05-01

S U N B EA M s.

it." But he insisted that | finish til,
verse. This is what he had written
In the spring a brighter polish
Comes upon the garden hoe; ,M
| told him to leave it and l would
compose the verse and mail it &c
him, which l did, as follows: y
In the spring brighter polish
Comes upon the garden hoe; Z
The Good Book says AT the harvest
We shall gather what we sow"
| Now, while life is all before you
Strive some common sense to show
You wasn't born to be a poet,
n You were built to WELD said hoe"
! Discouragin'? Yes. But KNOWN
. how hard is the lot of the poet, /
felt that | was doin' him a. kindness.
Perhaps after the first pangs of dis
appointment have passed he. may
thank me. Anyway, he should do
so.
The first settlers of Brazil are
Said to have paid $500 for cat.
Can you beat it? Holy mackerel!
Why, say, they could have bought all
the cats in the old home town for
$14.oo less money. Well, by golly!
A New Jersey Judge is quoted as
saying: 'All women lie-most Of
them very often-more often than
men, etc. suppose the reason
women lie oftener than men is be-
cause they talk more. AS to wheth-
er all women lie, l can't say. l
haven't met all OF 'enl. Not yet.
Latest form of greeting: Good
mornin'. Have you plugged your
taters? Meanin' (of course) have
you picked the Colorado potato
beetle from your potato sprouts.
Up and at em or you won't dig any
spuds next fall.
Then wake and call me early;
Call me early, Mother, dear
| must fight the pesky beetle, or
I'll raise no. spuds this year. =
Study to know myself" Simple
words, Yes. But they mean much to
us. For instance, you have. never
seen yourself as others see you, else
you would act differently. You have
never heard your voice as others
hear it, or YOU" would speak ditfer-
entity. Think 1t over once.
A fellow was very disappointed
with some pictures of himself, and
asked me how he could have a photo
taken SO that he would look we'll. !
told him to stand behind a tree.
|. notice that cod fish lido you
get me) can now be sent through
the mails. This don't interest me
none a-tall as don't eat the stinkin'
stuff. l am just wonderin' how soon
they will admit 1imburger cheese to
the mails. Do Il like limburger?-
y, boy!
All soft drinks are goin to be high
this season. Milk shakes~will sell at
40 cents per. But have been payin
so cents TOR milk shakes for a good
while. Butter milk shakes.
All of you who voted for Jim Reed
please stand up. Thanks, that will
do. wonder how he happened to be
electedD
Does it pay to advertise? I'll say
it do. Recently l run an add in
"Sunbeams" about a pillow | had for
sale and before the paper went on
the press had disposed OF said
pillow. Can you beat it,
Il know some preachers" whis-
pers Sports Cousin in the Atchison
County Mail, whom would be per-
fectly willing for the cannibals to
eat. *. c. Times. Well, by golly,
| wonder what the cannibals ever
did to Sports Cousin.
p Talk about hard luck. Listen. In
1852 whisky sold for 2S cents per
gallon. And l wasn't born until
several years later. Naturally | feel
like sayin Just my luck Cor misfor-
tune).
If there were some jurys hung and
a few less hung jurys l opine that
the way of the transgressor would
be made harder in the land
One day l met a man whom | had
never met before. We; were strang-
ers. After a few commonplace re-
marks about nothing in particular, +
he said, "You are writer for
newspaper; and you also write
poetry Naturally felt ffattered
and asked him by what process of
reasoning he had arrived at such a
conclusion. WAS it," 1 asked, be
cause, OF the intelligent look on my Il
face" mot at alt" he replied.
Quite the reverse. Rather lack of
any expression, intelligent or other
wise" (P. S. Pm carryin' a six
gun and whistlin' the latest popular
song IT'LL we meet again. +
A fellow asked for my opinion on |
the league Of cations Tor notions) as
the case may, be. l didn't speak a [,
word. just looked at him. Just +
gave him one look. He said, an
thank YOU. I'm much obliged" I,
Right smart Of talk goin' on just
new about the first man {supposedly
Mr.. ADAM bein' an ugly. brute. /
Plenty of evidence to support such \.
q argument among his descendants,
blight. The learned professor al +,
!eged tt have made this statement
1on't say anything about the looks
lgood or baO Of Mrs. Eve. Evil
iently he (the Pfof.) didn't see her
wheh he called (she bein' out among
he fig trees planning = new dsess