The spectator., 1919-03-07

8C0d humor. There were two reasons fnr this: FirSt-our battalion was to he relieved at nine that night and we ssvere going back for a two weeks kest- Second-it was spring. We could aannen it in the air. Even the wind Afewfng from the German trenches in Hr direction had a sweet and E Esrsringy" smell.
 E About thirty yards down a conmuni- scatSon trench to the left was an or scssnrd. The trees were scared from AufIets and fragments of shell; but even these battered trunks could not resist the feel of spring, because here and there on the twigs and branches enRid be seen bursting buds. Fitting Rscund were numerous birds, chirping, nHsf sometimes wrangling among them AraveA
 Y To me it seemed odd that birds could NseEsbom themselves to war. Occa- asrnaHy German shell, or perhaps Ssee of ours, would go screaming over the orchard. The birds did not seem to mind the noise-just carried on ,Syffh their neSt-building.
 In our company was an American named Alexander Stewart. Naturally ase and were very chummy. : Stewart and I were the chief amusement promoters in the con- Nany, the Tommies constantly looking So us for some new diversion.
 In the English army Tommy seems tn have the idea that an Americans chief vocation in the United States is fo invent. and to keep on inventing Of course, Stewart and I did not in Any way try to dissipate this idea; in fact, we encouraged it, and took great pride in being looked up to in this way: but, believe me, it kept us hust- ling to keep the Tommies amused.
 ks was getting too warm for soccer football. and we knew as soon as we got into rest billets that the issue would be put right up to us: "How are you going to amuse us while be- hind the linesT
 We were Americans, and red-blood- ed; STring was in the air. and our taauuglts turned to what every Ameri- l>an boy is thinking of upon the arrival jaf spring-baseball.
 ] I turned my eyes to the muddy para Hos frear wall of the trench) and fixed >nay gaze on a fragment of German lBsaeN embedded in the mud. Pretty Apon this fragment seemed to change Into baseball player. with mask, pro- rectop and catcher's mitt. He was srpucfing behind the home plate and signaling to the pitcher. Just then Stewart said: "Say, Emp, wonder H we could teach the Tommies how to play baseball?"
 immediately turned in his direction. He was also staring at that fragment of she'll
 \ answered.: "Did you ever try to teach Chinaman how to speak Rrench?"
 He got it right away and dejected look spread over his countenance, and he let out long-drawn sigh.
 A Tommy sitting on my right butted zn with: Did you sye byseball. Tank Why, saw a gyme in London, and it Ss absurdly easy to plye. but cawn't sye fawncy hit"
 
 turned to me and said: T guess you're right. Emp. it would be easier to teach Che Chinaman French"
 That night we were relieved and yrent behind the lines.
 The next afternoon, after parade we were sitting in an orchard drinking 6ra. About a month before, Stewart and I had taught the Tommies how to pifch horseshoes. There was great Eivairy among the different squads each squad having team.
 Just then Corporal Watkins came aDver to us and asked: "Where are the tnrse shoes? cawn't find 'em."
 Another Tommy answered: "Strafe me pink, where are your h'eyes Gawn't you bloomin' we'll see the h'of- 1icers usin lem be'ind that billet over sthere? Blime me. they're always A'guinmin' the gyme."
 Sure enough. the officers were using .0sT horseshoes.
 Stewart. with look of depression on his face, turned to me and said ~Well. here goes, Emp. Steve Brodie tsok chance, so I might be able to get away with this."
 Then. turning to the Tommies, he ssafd: 'Did any of you blokes evel hear of John McGrawY"
 Three of the Tommies answered ~Yes."
 A sunny smile and look of hope Aitted across Stewards face. and ht Mreathlessly asked. "Who is he?" Tht <hree started to answer at once. bu Stewart. majestically extending hi: hand. palm forward, saids "Get 1T line, one at time. Now. Perkins, wht Is John McGraw?"
 Perkins answered: "Why, 'e's