Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-03-06
Life'S Problems
Are Discussed

The other day I chanced to meet
a woman whom l had not seen for
some time.
Dear mel" said, unable to con-
ceal my surprise, for she appeared
to have undergone some subtle
metamorphosis. you look as if you
had stepped back twenty years or
so."
She is of the small, rather insig-
nificant type, and I remembered her
as a reserved, somewhat mournful
person who had seemed to melt
into her background, rather than to
stand out from it-one of those
quiet, mouse-like creatures as easily
! ignored and overlooked as a chair
or a table.
. But now she was different in
every way. Instead of passing me
with a stiff bow, she came forward
as if she were really glad to see
me. She was charmingly dressed
and smiling, and she seemed more
| like a twin sister than herself; a
twin sister with much more life and
vivacity. Her personality didn't i'm
press one as vague and slate-gray
any longer. And the change was
not merely a matter of good clothes
and becoming hat. 1t went
deeper.
what have you been doing to
yourself?" l asked.
Guess" she replied.
"You have come into a fortune;
you have married again; you have
taken up some very congenial
work?"
I II haven't had any money left
me, and 1 haven't married again,
and I'm not doing anything new
That is, unless you call the task
of making myself over congenial
work."
But how have you done it?"
was all curiosity.
WELL" she replied, ct realized
that I had been living for years in
the shadow, and it was growing
deeper all the time. People were
treating me more and more as il
I didn't exist, and l was very un-
happy about it until one day l said
to myself, Haven't you got enough
strength of character to walk right
out into the sunshine" 1 did
That's ALL"
This conversation was recalled tC
me by a letter from a woman who
seems to be suffering from the same
eclipse. She recounts some of heI
| bothers:
IF 1 go into store to buy some.
thing, accompanied by one of my
few friends, the salesman will
usually explain the article to heI
instead of to me, who am there tc
buy it. If 1 go into a restaurant
with another friend, she will gel
all the attention while L sit and
look on, although 1 am paying the
J check. I put on my wraps alone
while the waiter or waitress holds
her coat for her.
Perhaps you will think this
amusing, and it certainly sounds
childish for a woman of thirty
eight to make such a confession
but these are facts, and they hurt
| is the matter with me. l have met
some of my neighbors two or three
times, and they never know me
unless they are introduced to me
all over again. And ] never know
what to say when 1 talk to people
have no confidence in myself
Isn't there any hope for he?"
Dear lady, a canary bird doesnt
! sing when it has a dark cover over
it's cage; a lamp cannot shine
| through an opaque shade. You
! have shrunk so far back into the
shadow and have so successfully
most blotted yourself out. Come
out into the sunshine. Don't lei
people ignore and overlook you
Take the centre of the stage.
"But," you cry helplessly. "how
| shall l do it?"
Let us see. You say that you dc
not know what to talk to people
about. There is one topic that
never fails to interest them-them'
selves. Walk right up to someone
who is looking over your head, ano
say something like this:
"How do you do? am so glat
to see you. How is that dear, little
girl of yours? The measles! oh,
am SO sorry How long has she
been ill. But you yourself are
looking very well. Have you moved
into your new house YETI" You car
keep it up hours.
Silly? OF course; but every one
is doing it. And what is the differ.
ence, If 1t gives you self confidence
BY the law of opposites it /:
probable that you attract rather
assertive and aggressive friends
| When you go into shop with one
of them she does all the talking
while you stand meekly aside, ant
the salesman naturally takes it fol
granted that she is the purchaser.
And the same thing no doubt
holds true in a restaurant. Make
1t a point to give your order first
Then when you sec her preparing
to grab all the ateention of the
waiter, be first again. Keep him
fussing about you. Say, Waiter
my wrap. please" and let her put
on her own things. 1t will be a new
and salutary experience for her.
Never allow any one to make q
door-mat of you. Sweetly, smil-
| ingly, gently but firmly assert
yourself. Walk right into the sun
| shine.
There's plenty of it, enough fol-
everybody. And there's no reason
why you should give UP your
share.