The Caldwell tribune., 1919-03-21
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X 7TH GRADE REPORTER \
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AT my tender age don't discover
any of that serene piety we used to
have when grandpa was a boy s of
youthful age and design. Why, every
man joshes like the mischief no mat
ter if he is elder or belongs to the
session or the stewards or deacons or
what not. Its no trouble for me at
my tender age to detect that there
must be an African in the woodpile
about this 1919 piety. 1t aint here,
that's so, amt it the truth. Why, you
can't tell the differenceAbetween a lot
of church delegates and lot of horse
show or puppy show delegates. They
all have about the same lot of old
whiskered joshes that even at my
tender age I have heard a thousand
times ten thousand times, 1t would
be quite a relief for some church
delegate to spring a few real new
poshes if posh it is. think holy
written literature tells pious folks to
GO straight ahead and josh neither to
the right nor to the left.
| A lady who is reputed not to be
getting along any too we'll with her
beloved husband who is one of our
leading business men went into the
Colonial the other day and bought
thirty-five cents worth of bulk candy
and ate it all before me and never said
kid have piece: She Tapped like a
dog and purred like kitten while that
candy was disappearing down her
worthless throat. I say worthless
throat simply because she did not
offer me piece of it. OF course so
far as | know her throat may be
answering the purposes for which it
was made pretty we'll and very salts
factory to her, but at my tender age
/ can see as far into rock as any
body who can't see further than
can. Hully gee, l amt had that much
candy in a year Moral, a feller ought
to find out what kind of a wife a
woman will make eight years after he
is tied up to her. If he would do that
there would be "a great deal less
economy of affection and fewer trips
to the Nat | don't know what there
is about a trip to the Nat but ma
gives dad fits about them. and thus
at my tender age | caught onto the
expression.
No use telling me that married
folks loves each other when they are
all the while pecking one, another,
! was visiting with little chum o.
mine the other night aud that hus
; band and wife fought like tigers anS
rats. They did not know that w
boys paid any attention to them. bu
il was surely holy terror the wa.
I they fought. They fought over mos
: everything that kept coming up. Sh
fought him and then he fought her
then they both fought both. Sh
would peck and then he would peck
1t didn't seem like there was anythinl
to any of It. but they seemed to enjo
pecking each other. am OF tende
age OF course. but seems to me ther
amt much love where there is s.
many pecks, CANT be a bushel O
love even If there is hundreds %
pecks.
A man told another man yesterda,
that we are drinking more buze Il
Caldwell now than any time in tn
natural civilization of the place. Ma.
be So but n feel that that man is lyinl
about it, Y OH don't see drunk maj
once a month 1t may be of cours,
that we have more genteel way o
hiding them away or taking then
home out of sight or taking them t.
some rooming house and SOLDERING
them down few hours before the,
are took to the bosom of their be
loved families. At any rate that maj
was talking through his hat when h
says wer are drinking mbre buze nov
than ever before.
seen one of our society ladies un
load from an electric car one dav thi
week with a big package OF good
she had bought up in Boise. She ha'
no shame about It either. She go
off in broad daylight and stepped intt
her automobile and drove of towart
Ii. H. ~. ,he call. home