Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-06-13
WoH481
] - cAND II
81HS9088SRE5
Time-About Sis p. IN.

Time-About Sis p. IN.
Place-Crowded aisle OF Elm street car.
Cast-Fat lady with bundles. tall thin spin
ster, short, plump working girl. club woman
No. l. club woman No. 2, bevy of hello girls,
pleasant faced young man, Office man, first
workingman, second workingman, conductor.
Scene-Car is at a standstill loading up at
bundles is anchored midway up the aisle.
Ahead Of her there is clear space, behind
her solid mass Of struggling, sweating hu-
mainly, including the above named characters
in the order OF their introduction.
Con (bawling Justify -"Step toward in the
aisle, please-fo'ward in the aislei"
Crowd of struggling humanity surges ahead.
F. L. W. B. grunts forward to next seat handle
and halts. c. o. S. H also halts.
o. NJ, W. NJ, W. NJ. Tin unison)-'Ies'
go, lots of room up 'front.'" Push altogether
against P. F. Y. NJ, who is showed into bevy of
hello girls.
/ Hello Girb-"why the nerve of some
peopIe."
2 H. G-"where does he get that stuff
who's he. Huntoon?'
H. G-~Say graceful. you think you're
smart, don'tcha Well, you amt foolin' no
body"
Ply M Cblushing)-"Pardon me, please"
Car starts with jerk, throws everybody for
ward, slams P. F. Y. M violently into c. W.
Con (desperately)-"Lots of room up front
there. step toward in the aisle
C. w. No Upon my word this is abom-
Unable service turning her head to glare at
P. F. Y M.
C. W. No. Ives. one is forced to rub
shoulders with all kinds Of rude, common peo-
pie. They lack bringing up. don't you know"
Also bending frigid glance upon P. F. Y. M.
S. P. W. G. filters as her eye catches that
of P F. YIN
P F. Y M (shamefacedly)-"Oh, beg
your pardon. I'm awfuIly sorry"
Con Qoudly)-"Get toward in the aisle,
pleased"
o. NJ (fxing longing eyes on open space
in front of F. L. ". b. only little further
to co.
W. NJ (eyeing F. L. W. B)-"Port your
helm, r4ate, yon freighter's aground in the
channel"
Wv. NJ Ito Ply. M)-'Falter not, broth
er. She's great life if you don't weaken"
All together-'Les' go!"
Car careens around curve P. F. Y. NJ
grasps wildly for support. Lurches forward
forcefully. One hand comes in contact with
hatpin in S. p. W. G.'s hat. Jerks away to
plant elbow solidly beneath short ribs Of tall
thin spinster.
T T s. galvanized into sudden speech
What do you mean sir. by such actions?
An apology. sir, I'm a LADY," glazing at P. F.
Y. NJ. severely through spectacles Jared awry
and hanging in precarious position on hump
of hawk nose.
P. F. Y. NJ. (weakly)-"I couldn't help that,
honest. 1 apologize"
Seeks to worm way past F. L. W. B.
FL. W B. with a shriek)-"Right on my
sore corn! Oh, my poor foot" (Ffercely) You
men are all alike. you just b1under along blind
Iy. Bout handy as 'rhinocerus'!" This
last to TALL thin spinster.
T. T. S. docking meaningly at P. F. Y. M
-"Aint it the truth"
Everybody pushes, F. L W. B. drops
bundle Makes frenZfed attempt to recover and
Ioosens hold upon seat handle. All shove. F.
L. W. B. pushed forward despite belated efforts
to brace herself. Brings up finally against
front vestibule partition with T. T S. and S. P
". G. Three ladies pant indignation.
Pr Y MAJ LAST" Staggers through
swinging door into motormans sanctum fol-
P. F. Y. NJ. colapses Imply against side OF car.
Con (faintly)-"Step toward in the aisle.
please-fo'ward in the aisle!" ELSEE.
In the scrap over the presidency of the Illi-
nois State Federation of WomanS Clubs at
Peoria two charges were lodged against Mrs.
Frank Funk. One that she was Chicago
woman and the other that she was born and
reared in southern Illinois. Which recalls
Charley Cases old story he used to relate in
vaudeville He said that Brooklyn and Science
tady, n. Y, had been quarreling over him ever
since he was born. Brooklyn claimed he was
a native of Schenectady and Schenectady was
just as insistent that he was born in Brooklyn.
Johan c. Gluck left s1.25 each to a nephew
and a niece. They have refused to accept the
requests. and the probate court at Washington
has ordered that the money be paid into the
the money be donated to Bill HOhenzollern to
be used in buying him a straw hat for con-
tinues the writer. 'he was wearing one Of the
vintage of 1918 in the last photo of him that
l saw"
Make Sure Jews in East Will Get Rights"
Headline. And lefts. too. That's what their
brethren in this country are protesting against
o.
Clothes don't proclaim the man these days
But the Liberty loan button does.
J. NJ. C.