The Washington herald., 1919-06-20
NEAR MURDER REQUIRED TO
GET DRINK OF COLD WATER IN
LONDON, SAYS WRITER GUY

London
To william Quick. Proprietor occi-
dental Hotel, Buffalo. wyo.:
Dear Btn-You remember me. Bill;
I'm the man you and the boys who
happened to be In town that Saturday
night tried to put over the jumps the
nrst time I blew into Buffalo along
with old Joe LeFors- You did this,
Bin, Just because you and the rest
thought I was an Fastener, and when
you found came from California and
eased on a bit we all sat down and
mad a regular session In your back
room. where the picture of Clusters
Last Fight hangs on the wall. Yes;
and 1 remember. Bill your assistant
nad q cast in his right eye and no
body who was not hep to him could
tel whether he was anxious about the
.enanse from the last one or who was
going to stand for the next one.
hope, Bill. that boy has a job with
the government now: as far as 1 can
see from reading the home papers,
the government needs him
wen. anyway. I'm going to write
you lot of stun that has no right
10 be In the news. because there's
no news about it. You see, Bill, old
Top. I'm a regular reporter now;
you and the rest of the BufraIo
boys thought 1 was q hIgh-brow
who wrote fancy stories about
Things that never happened Maybe
did; but I've reformed, and 1 live
IN London. and God knows, Bill,
that's as bad as being black
oalled" out in your Wyoming coun-
Try You know the T-bone steaks
your Tillie in the dining room. with
I Lgeraniums at the windows, used to
serve with onions on the side and
ll round, for the matter of that.
Nell, Bill. when 1 wake up sudden
at night over here and cast back
yer the dreams I've been dreaming
discover they're all about that T.
Pone steak and the real honey you
fsed to set out with the fiapjacks in
The morning. and the trout right
Fout of Clear Creek, up near Sol
diers' Home. broiled. and with three
Knife marks down the flanks for
the bacon juice to penetrate.
Bill Quick, you never can under
stand how terrible are those drains
in London.
Loose Weight on Hoof.
But 1 didn't start to write on the
eats question. Anybody from the L.
5. A who did that in London would
lose from three to five pounds right
on the hoof and be in no shape for
shipping with the rest of the two
Year-olds. What / started out to do
was to tell you and the rest of the
boys who get together in Old Man
Whosis' back room on Saturday nights
old Hard Winter Davis from Crazy
Squaw and the rest of the old-timers
one or two things which make Lon
don different from the rest of Amer
lea You know. Bill. the doodle
entendre" stun. Il got that phrase
while l was in Paris. Bill; what do
you think of it for a whizzerO
For instance, when you're in the
Savoy bar-which the real Americans
call The Swamp because it's so wet
compared with the rest of the Strand
when you're in the aforesaid bar
Bill. and somebody orders a round
and everything's all set, some short
haired muley lifts his glass and says
''Cheerio." and everybody puts his
away pronto. Get that, Bill;
Cheerio." Now what do you think
sof that?
"CheeriO- with n Drink.
Not. How" or Down the rat
fhOle." or anything Christian like
'that- But "Cheerior' Just as il
some shorthorn from Keokuk
! Ioway. should sit into a party in
your back room in the Occidental
and buy one and then say Grand
mas chintz piano cover" or some
thing quick and snappy like that.
Bill and boys. I've been in London
nigh onto five months now and ]
can't find out why the ~Cheerio'
business. 1t spoils the taste OF
what's there and. take it from one
who's had his foot on the old rail
from Gillette to Sheridan. there's
not near so much authority in
what's there in The Swamp as there
might be. At least. not anything
to say 'Cheerio" about.
Another thing, Bill, over here you
don't get a drink of water without
fighting for it. OF course. there are
some who drink water and there's
some who don't-from this angle il
looks as if the water-drinkers
would be on the increase back home
after July 1. But over here in this
mans town-and it is all of that;
don't make any mistake-if you
want a goblet of water with your
meal you've got to get on your wal
Hot Water and Salt.
HOT WATER AND SALT SU ? :?
Take it at breakfast time-which is
nywhere from 8 o'clock to II; ask
pr water and the heifer with the
oached hair who's trotting your trail
Twill bring you a large glass of hot
water and set the salt convenient to
hand. Cast your lamps over that,