The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-10-23

TdIlFOduS, SnlpperS, SCaLe ana munlcl- pal authorities and the public gener- ally, to bring the lesson home to everybody.
 A motive is to minimize acci- dents. And the more the employees are careful to avoid accidents the less will be the loss of life.
 "To stimulate southern region em- ployes in their fight for the record as the region of safest railroads y says the circular, "B. L. Winche1l, regional director, with headquar- ters at Atlanta, has offered a handsome silver cup to be awarded to the employees of the group of lines showing the smallest number of acci- dents during the two weeks. There are eleven groups of railroads in the region, and the cup-known as "The Southern Region Trophy"-will be awarded upon the basis of the reports of the eleven federal managers. The trophy is now on display at Atlanta" !" The efforts of the railroad admin istration to safeguard life are to be commended. Good results may be expected
 Speaking of disagreeable jobs, com paratively few envy T. V. O'Connor his position as president of the International Longshoremen's association. He never knows when he's going to be mobbed by presuming to tell them they ought to work.
 It cost William Waldorf Astor sum estimated at from s1o,ooO,ooo to s2o,Ooo, 900 to acquire British title. He could have stayed in America. moved down south and become a major. colonel or even general merely by distributing few tips among the colored brethren. * # < The proprietor of Chicago dance hall advertises perpetual motion party" at which the guests may dance as long as they like, with no stops and no inter missions. It sounds like something new under the sun, but the Chinese may have tried it 1000 years ago. ,s # # 1 The crop of fish stories this year was not up to jrevious standards, but it Is interesting to note that female hump backed whale having two hind legs 50 inches long is reported to have been caught at British Columbia whaling station
 ! On the Elzabethan stage a sign in- dicated a tree. Niwadays we not only reproduce a whole forest on the stage. but the drummer in the orchestra car initiate nearly every bird known to ornithologists.
 | The man who can't understand the fine points of diplomacy naturally won- ders why the allies propose to blockade soviet Russia when the world is solemnly assured that Lenne hasn't leg to stand on.
 | The Louisville Courier-Journal facet iously suggests that the salaried class may eventually have to wear blue shirts and carry dinner pails. Even then. there would not be any assurance that the dinner pails would be full. # * #
 There has been so much talk about the high cost of living and industrial unrest Ilately, that the average newspaper reader doesn't know offhand what novels are just now the "best sellers
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 The Welshman who spanked his wife for flirting with an American officel anc was fined s in court at Cardir intended no reflection on American offi cers as class.
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 People who think the British have u< sense of humor should read some of thu Jokes they crack at the expense of thu American representatives in London o the Anti-Saloon league. l E s ss
 Mir. Bryan disavows his alleged fond ness for grape juice That will raise thu colonel peg or two in the estimation of rum hounds"
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 The late viscount Astor died mem Der of the British peerage. but ribalt paragraphers called him Willy Wally' to the last.
 After President Wilson, lying bed-rid den. exerts himself to write it letter lthe industrial conference can no nothing less than pull itself together.
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 Reeardless of who first said "Th human form divine" some famous clas s,c dancers are headed toward Birm ingham.