Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-01-02
The Egotist

An EGOTIST is a person who insists on
"A talking about himself when you want
to talk about yourself. His talk is incessant,
fluent, often eloquent, but 1t suffers from a
certain monotony of subject-matter, for 1t
swings. as inevitably as the stars in their
courses, about one great center of gravity,
himself. The egotist is at least as often a
woman as man and, as in other respects.
one sex is deader than the other: which.
will depend on your own. In conversation
the egotst habitually emulates the practice
of Lord Macaulay. who, knowing that it was
quite unlikely that any one In the room
could approach the inimitable conversational
powers of his lordship himself. naturally
asked "Why waste time listening to dull
fellows?" The egotist is rudderess and un-
steerable in discourse he is, indeed no very
good listener. For when not himself talking
he employs these inerstices in his own CON
sciousness to a better purpose than listen
ing that of thinking up what next to say.
In short, the egotist is tiresome and dis
agreeable fellow to everybody but himself.
But in this he is more than compensated,
for the buoyancy of his sef-esteem sustains
him lightly in the surges of life on which
may, he will sing no miserere
LGoTIsM is somewhat like moisture.
IL Spread as dew upon the LEAKAGE of an
open nature, 1t Is harmlessly exhaled in the
sunshine of a rising day Accumulated until
It fill a little vessel and frozen by neglect
In the shade. it will do as water does. ex-
pand and crack the pot Great wits to
madness are allied is merely the popular
expression of recognized truth, physically
demonstrable in the circumstance that, like
the pot the Uranium will not give where
fore the expansion technically known as a
"swelled head" if it go on. must inevitably
crack something There was a boy once at
college who sedulousy and impudentIy
affected red and blue socks. Not red and
blue on one sock, not red socks at one time
and blue at another, much less socks of any
color decorousy concealed in high laced or
buttoned shoes, but right foot red and left
foot blue. alternating with right foot blue
and left foot red, worn with shoes only
properly to be designated decolete. The
punishment meted out by his classmates to
this orgy of egotism in color 1t does not
become modest historian to disclose.
Suffice II to say that punishment did not
cure, Tor tne egOtlSn WnlCn once expressed
itself in red and blue socks now finds its
outlet In mauve and yellow poetry" as i'm
modestly decollete as were ever those sopho-
morc feet. The Gownsman will not say that
as yet anything has cracked, but there is a
great strain.
COME persons are more subject TO egotism
Othan others, though nearly any human
being may fall into chronic megslomania If
fed too much on the rich food of adulation
Persons of under stature. especially If they
be stout, often walk about on a species of
cothurnus or chopne of appreciation by
means of which they approach more nearly
the inches of their more fortunate brethren.
Deformity IL sometimes most pathetically
sustained in similar manner; and fools
float merrily In the shallowest waters, buoyed
with their bladder -baubes in which is only
the rattle OF dried peas Small poets are
an egotisticai breed, seeing deeply into mill
stones, sandblind as 10 their own miserable
little weans, Reformers who discover ex-
actly what is wrong with the world are apt
to fnd each man for himself, the only pana-
cea to right it. And when man has made
a pile OF money, especially If the process of
the making has involved chiefly Incubation
there is nothing which he will not tell you
precisely how TO do. Money speaks" i'm all
the idioms OF egotism too often it thunders
in terms OF the veriest tyranny, The megalo-
mania of a monarch has wrecked four em-
pires in our day, the megalomania of the
Bolshevik another, And megalomania is only
human egotism raised TO dangerous higher
power and intrusted with mechanism be-
yond its comprehension or control.
TTAPPY is the cobbler who sticks 10 his
III last. The neglect of this obvious course
OF conduct deyslops curious manifestations OF
egotism at 'es The man who has
achieved a nj n OF success In some one
M