The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-04-24

| Another thing husband can't under
stand is how wife can tell anything
on earth about pattern.
The difference between fighter anC
knocker is the difference between
the affection Of dog and a mule.
The crucial days for the peach, the
prune and the other fruit crops is here
and the peace conference hasn't any
monopoly on crises.
q q q
1t Is said goldfish eat mosquitoes.
II this be true, we know where gold
fish of good character can find a
steady job this summer.
People who find so much fault with
this good old world had better be care
full. There is only one other place to
go and there are no return tickets.
z 4 z
The time is coming, and it is not
far distant, when man who INDUCES
his taste for tobacco will draw a Jail
sentence in connection with his fine.
Far be it from us to suggest any
thing, but we read in an eastern paper
the other day that woman found
dollar while spading up the garden.
q z Q
The burning issue is not what vari-
ETY. Of league of nations to adopt,
but whether father should take an af-
ternoon of to make garden or go
fishing.
He walked into the jewelry store
with bashful air, and murmured: II
--ah--er-um." Bring that tray of
engagement rings here" Joe called to
his clerk.
All that the German peace dele
gates need to take along when they
start for Paris tomorrow is a foun- |
tain pen apiece and the price of
nights lodging.
Well, there is this nice thing about |
national prohibition: After July l
man can go away from home and re-
turn with suit case without being
under suspicion.
A little fellow said the other even
NJ, 70 h;S n,ar,n,a. aJen,t - g,,r,,, |
now the days go by. one after the
other, just like train of cars, with
Sunday for the engine? 2"
We would like to know how boy
who has to pay a luxury tax of 10
per cent on baseball bats and masks
and mitts can ever be expected to
grow up into man and a soldier?
2 4
Little Billie was looking at Elijah
going to heaven in a chariot of fire.
Pointing to the halo about the proph-
It's head, Billie exclaimed: "See,
he's carrying an extra tire"
How many of you boys" asked a
Sunday school superintendent. will
,ring another boy next Sunday?"
Nobody answered for few minutes,
when Willie's hand went up. 81 know
wo boys. One of them can lick and
will try my derndest to bring him."
Have you got any of this yur
White Lightning Liniment?" asked q
nan in the drug store the other day.
My wife's rheumatism is Fostering
Ter powerful, and "But that is
Iorse liniment," said the clerk.
Well. gimme bottle Of it Nuthin's
90 good for my wife, by cracky:"
q q q
A Luisville & Nashville box car !.
rent through here the other day with
he letters L. q N, covering nearly t
he whole side of the car. A stranger =
sked what the letters stood for, and .
small boy standing near said: THAT t
ar 10 to haul President Wilson's n
.sague Of Nations in-that's what 9
hem letters stand for" \
q q q lip
A farmer and wife recently lost
heir last hog. They agreed not to
ay anything and they would know
he first person mentioning the fact b
rould be the thief. Sunday they en-
cred the church and the preacher
cad out his text: 81 have meat to Y
at that we know not Of" Nudging
is wife, the old farmer whispered,
Maria, we never did suspect him,
id ~e!' 81
A boy who suffered badly was y
landing in the Grand Central station
ne day in New York. A stranger c.