Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1919-07-15
WHERE is THE COOKE?
BY DIR. Frank Crane

The Other day picked up the Sunday News
paper and just for greens counted the Want
AID columns. There were Lightweight columns
of Help Wanted advertisements in this particu-
lar sheet, and only eight Situations Wanted.
ParenthesS: Where is that Army of I'm
employed? What has become of those process
SionS of people marching the streets, sleeping
in the churches and reminding that every
Human Being has a right to job? Haven t
the Laboring Men now got this country about
Only Strikes Why aren't the Proletarat hymn
ing praises? Isn't this the Millennium?
Note: A man got a job as carpenter in a
Shipyard during the war. He knew nothing
about carpentry, but the friend who got him
the place said: That's all right You don't
from one pile of lumber, take it over to an
other, rest while, and then take it back" He
followed Instructions At the end of the week
he drew his pay, IS day. The next day he
noticed man following him about as he toted
his board This alarmed him. He suspected
he was being watched and would be discharged.
At last in desperation he accoSted the nan.
"Say, what are you following me around for?"
he asked. "Why, dot you know who | ami"
returned the man. 49, Who are you?" .sWhy.
Pm your Assistant"
But, to return to mutton. In these eight
columns of Situations Wanted there were only
tour applications for place as Cook!
Pause. Lay down this paper and think!
Among all the millions of the metropolis
only four human creatures that wanted to cook
cookl
The consumption of food is an absolute
necessity 1t is even more important, for it is
luxury.
One would suppose that cooking would at
tract the Supremest skill. But one would be
wrong. 1t does not
1t is about the poorest, punkest business in
the known world. 1t is badly done And bv
people mostly that hate it,
1t seems, from my acquaintance, that an
average of nine women out of eight deteSt. the
kitchen.
cook is looked down upon She ought to
be on pedestal and looked up to-
She ought to get high enough wages so that
the swarm of girls who now go in for tending
shop, typewriting and school teaching would
turn to Housekeeping, which is the Noblest,
Grandest and Most Needed Business on earth
In New York City | have eaten at scores
bad The food is i'll cooked and high-priced
The service is irritating. And it makes little
difference whether it is cheap lunch coun-
ter or fashionable robbers nest All bad.
With two or three exceptions.
Why, oh, why, doesn't ANYBODY want to
cook any more?
| am not ashamed to say that | look upon
eating as serious and important function, and
nave little patience with them that affect to de-
SpiSe it.
agree with DR.. Johnson. who said. "I
look upon it that he who does not mind his
belly will hardly mind anything else"
Where is the cook?
Copyright, 1919, by Frank Crane)
An old offender was brought I'D before q
well-known London magistrate.
Inc constable, as preliminary, informed
his worship that he had in custody John An
derson, alias Brown, alias Smith
Every WE'LL" said the magistrate. with an
air of dignity. "I'll try the women first
Bring in Alice Brown. What has she been
doing?"
"She is proud beauty. Last night we
parted in anger"
"Going to make up?"
81 guess so. But l think I'll stay mad
about week and spend some of my money
on myself"