davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
In Defense Of the War Risk.

They say we're inefficient,
And we cut all sorts OF capers;
The other bureaus knock US,
And we're roasted in the papers
They claim we have no system,
That we don't know how to work
And each "overpaid" employe,
Has a mania to shirk.
The stenographers are takers,
Crude and clumsy at .dictation,
And the clerks are only experts
In the art of conversation;
Say, | don't know Dawley Junior,
And I'm mighty glad of that,
For think the man is crazy,
And just talking through his hat
We are not bunch of grafters
Pressed in service from the farm,
But we're real blue ribbon winners,
Blending competence with charm
Policies we juggle briskly,
Millions of EN- every day,
Hustle claims and rush allotments,
Keep the soldiers families gay.
We at least expect some credit,
When we do the best we can,
And we don't stand condemnation.
Undeseryed, from any mani
It's just blooming propaganda,
Not bit of justice in it,
Why, the old War Risk Insurance,
Jua< goes at it" every minutel
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR
BY John Kendrick Bangs.
HELP.

HELP.
When Nature with her stores OF peli
Cries to me. COME. AND HE'LL
YOURSELF"
l do not think she means for me
To look upon her gifts as free
For me to take without a care
OF how they happened to be there
But that some effort l shall make
To help provide the things I take,
And by thus helping justify
My heavy drafts on her supply.
tCopyright. lAA)
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
How q Missouri Worn Turns.

When NJ. L. Ridge cut down a
big elm about a month ago along
Deere branch a perfect letter y
was found In the wood shout a
foot from the bark. II was per
feet in shape and may have been
the work OF a hungry worm.-Bra-
shear News.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Looks Suspicious

Hubby, regret TO say that
you were intoxicated yesterday az
ternoon-" You do me an injus-
tice. my dear" hen why did you
take a watering pot and start TO
freshen up the grass rOrE"-Louis-
Vile Courier-JournAl.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

table is being set. Nothing to do
but stall around. look clever and
hum few cracked chirups- He
doesn't strut around very long,
examining the landscape furniture
and the frosty carpet, before some
more guests blow in. Baimy
breczes and cheerful sunbeams.
Along about that time we begin
10 take notice of our. togs. IL
only takes a handful OF fancy
days 10 make fella feel like an
old Xmas tree in a vacant lot.
The faded, battered hat The
worn velvet collar. sagging poek-
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Hoonah, Apparently, Expects
Trouble.

Hoonah. a native village Of
Alaska. has Just abolished its
cider industry and built a Jail
and hospital 1t believed that
prevention should be attended to
as well as cure. Reactionsry7
Springfield Republican
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Well! Well!

What makes you think that Tip.
toms wife has him completely un-
der her controI7" Il saw him TAX
ing luncheon with her the other
day in a department-store res
taurant-"-Life.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Carried Mail $50. 900 Miles.

Doquoin. ILL.,, March 24-Thomas
Policy didn't hike to the Rhine. but
he estimates he's tramped 10000
miles for Uncle Sam in carrying
mail here for nineteen years.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
DRY" BY Purchase.

North Attleboro, Mass. March a
A temperance advocate plans TO put
this town in the Jamaica ginger class
| by buying the nine liquor licenses
and letting the dust collect on the
barroom floors.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Even So.

Friend-HeIlo. scribbles. I hear
that your manuscripts are selling
like hot cakes. Scribbles Cssdly-
Then the editors must all have
dyspepsia--Boston Transcript
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Some Excitement.

Bacon-Ever try the war ransf
with my wife.-Yonkers Statesman
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
White House Whittier.

The White House is being made
whittier. Painters are giving the exc
cutive mansion its spring coat of
paint.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

" cracked and minated buttons of the overost The curly ps
and much bent sleeves OF the The wked vest The shiny
bagknee frowzu pants socks The broken spirited
shoes How do know it's spring? Your clothes know
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
AMT NATURE WONDERFUL
SPRING RECONSTRUCTION PERIOD

The first robin flap the footprints of departing Jacques
Frost the FIRST arrival party
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25
Helping the Helpless.

amohers' pension system.
1t applies widows and wives of dead and disabled officers
and to children.
year paid by the for the food and
cIohng each child and addition $3.50 paid for
seach chlds education
This pension paid until the children 8 years of
suffering humanity less of what has been having
The is we'll enough. Now let have
.loa6ng.
When dog became the upper dog, he put
.thc dog the bill of fare
You perhaps noticed of this opposition the
ague coming boys who through the Argonne
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Anybody want q nice shirt2 See
Oliver Graf. George Van Den Berg,
or that spess hound on Merg. 70.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Edward T. Negosta Is strutting
around the pressroom, all because
Of new girl at his house. Every
one doing fine.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Joe Johnson had an able assist
ant yesterday afternoon at the
band rehearsal in Jimmy Gessford.
Jimmy says they can't hold him
back now.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

An early Monday morning argument
between Steve Harder and Phil Mach
man became quite Q heated AFFAIR. but
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Chief George H. Smith took sew
eral days rest after the strenuous
moving in the forwarding and fin-
ishing section.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Edward Nenzies. carpenter. is
taking a few days leave.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Fred Smith. plate printer. section
Z, is still confined to his home in
Tacoma Park. Fred has had a long
siege of 1t. and his friends are pull
ing hard for his recovery.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

When the under dog in Russia became the upper dog
he dog meat on the bill of fare.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

George B. Klum has been absent
from the electrical section several
days because of illness.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

suffering humanity is less of what it has been havi
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

The friends of Miss Mabel B.
Frye, of the surface division. were
surprised yesterday to learn that
she had been married for a whole
month. She is now Mrs. Van Haaf-
ten. her husband having returned
from France a few weeks ago.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

The tax on luxuries is we'll enough Now let US
oa6ng.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Misses Margaret and Bessie Nc
Namara should ask Kirk Harrison
about picking flowers in public
parks.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Miss Daisy Chase. of the exam
lining division, is back. after a spell
OF illness.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Albert J. Klatt is again at work in
the pressroom after several days
leave.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-25

Arthur Bates, Cornelius Psxson.
Giles Eubanks and Emory Garner,
of the stamp perforating division,
were absent yesterday, just to en-
JOY the sunshine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
JEWS NOT EASILY CONVERTED
Sermon to Which They Were Annually
Forced to Listen Failed Of lite
Purpose.

In John Evelyn's diary Of January
Z, 1916, there Is notation Of pecu-
liar ceremony which seems to have
been of annual occurrence at Rome.
1t was sermon preached to COM
pulsory congregation of Jews, with
view to their conversion. Mr.. Evelyn
says they are constrained to sit till
the hour is done, but it is with so
much malice in their countenances,
splitting humming coughing and mo-
ton, that 1t is almost impossible they
should hear a word from the preacher.
A conversion Is very rare"
The Zionist movement, which has
gone on for years and received new
impetus by the changes made in mid
die Europe as a result of the world
war, was outlined in poem written
by Robert Browning during his resi-
dence in Italy, probably about the mid
die of the nineteenth century. He
calls 1t Holy Cross Day."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
NEWS OF THE LAMBERTVILLE
AND NEW HOPE CHURCHES.
First Presbyterian Church.
Rev. Theron Lee, Minister.

All are cordially welcome at the
services of this church. This coming
Sabbath Mr.. Lee will preach in the
morning on "Communing With God"
At the close of this service the mems
Bible class will study the story of the
return of Jacob to Canaan, and to all
men is given a hearty invitation to be
present.
Mr.. Lees theme in the evening will
be "Soul Labor" One hour before
this evening service the Young Peo-
pies Society will hold an automatic
meeting" which will prove novel and
interesting.
The subject of the prayer service
on Tuesday night will be "The Grace
of God in Jesus Christ"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Chinese Woman Enoottin.d Aliu.

An unusual case of flial ingratitude
is reported from Huchow, China, in
the Tokyo (Japan) Advertiser. A very
aged woman lived with her sons fam
lily, who were so poor that they did
not have necessary food. To reduce
expenses, the son, forgetting his coun-
try's traditions regarding f3liaI piety,
conceived of disposing Of his aged
mother. He secured a coffin, placed
his mother therein, without protest on
her part, nailed on the cover and de-
posted the coffin in a vacant lot.
Neighbors informed the police, and the
coffin was taken to the station house,
where 1t was opened. The woman was
still breathing, and when removed
asked: "Why did you disturb me7
am burden to my son and do not
want to live. Please put me back In
the box and let me die" The request
was refused, and officials are detain.
ing both mother and son In the va
men awaiting judicial disposition of
the case.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Ignorant Money Hiding.

The dollar-hider endangers his funds
and his personal safety, also he works
against prosperity. Money buried in
the ground or slowed away under car
pets, in cupboards, clocks, mattresses,
bureau drawers, trunks, etc, is idle
money. If 1t does not get lost, it is a
temptation to thieves-an incentive to
crime. Money kept In your safe is
never safe-that's where the burglar
looks for 1t.
Take tip, Dollar-hider, buy a
bond, and laugh at the burglar in
your sleep.-Bolton Hall In Thrift"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Making ARRANGEMENTS

A stray but friendly cat wandered
to the front door of a home where
lived Charles, an only child. The lit
tie fellow was pleased with his new
visitor, and was endeavoring to well
come him by bringing him into the
house. when the mother appeared on
the scene. She told the child that
the cat was not allowed In the house.
Immediately after the cautioning and
while the cat was on the front porch
Charles went to the door and said:
Say, kitty, you come around to the
back door and nj meet you there
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
st. Andrews Church.
Rector, Rev. Thomas ]. Bensley, D. D

Sunday, May 4th. End Sunday after
Easter. 7:30 A. M. Holy Eucharist;
1890 A. M. Choral Holy Eucharist
and Sermon; subject, Patriotism"
2:15 P. M. Children's Service in the
Church; 7:30 P. NJ Evening Prayer
and Sermon; subject, "The great
Multitude"
Wednesday, May It'll. $50 A. M.
Holy Eucharist.
Friday, May 9th. 7:3O A. NJ. Holy
Eucharist; A 80 P. M. Evening Prayer
and Litany.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
ANNUAL MEETING

The annual meeting of the Stock
holders of the New Hope Delaware
Bridge Company" will be held at the
Company's Office Lambertville, N. J..
Saturday Afternoon, May 10th, 1919,
at 800 o'clock. An election for
officers will be held.
M. A. MARJARUM,
Secretary.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Thompson Memorial Church.

Rev. w. w. Harris, Pastor.
Sunday School at 10 A. M.
Morning Worship at IL o'clock.
Sunday School at Wood Hill Chapel
2.20 P. M.
C. E. at 7.30 P. M.
Evening Worship at 500 o'clock.
Cottage Prayer Meeting on Friday
evening at 500 o'clock.
A welcome to all services.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
VICTORY RHYMES.

A simple pieman met wise young
Simon
A goin' to the fair.
Said the pieman unto Sir Simon,
wont you taste my ware?"
Said canny Simon unto the pieman,
Il cannot spare the penny.
l save to buy War Saving Stamps,
For I cannot have too many"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

Services for Sunday, May a, 1919.
Services at IL A. M. and 7:30 P. M.
The Fiftieth Anniversary services
will be continued over next Sunday,
May a, 1919. The pulpit viii be &C.
cupied both morning and evening by
the Rev. W. G. Russell, D. D., of
Philadelphia, Pa, District Secretary
of the American Baptist Home and
Foreign Missionary Societies. DR..
Russell is preacher of reputation and
it is privilege to have him visit our
town.
Sunday School at 9:45 A. M.
Y. P. S. c. E. Meeting on Sunday
evening at $50.
Prayer Meeting on Tuesday even
ming at 7:45.
All are cordially invited to these
services.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

FOR SALE-To close the
estate of the late Susan &.
Smith, the very desirable re-
sldence, No. 18 Jefferson street.
Lambertville. Eleven Rooms and
bath. One of the best locations
in the city. Pleasant surround
ings and outlook. Isaiah P.
Smith, above address. John w.
Smith, Stockton, N. J.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Centenary Methodist Church.
Rev. Edward A. Wells, Pastor

Services at this church next Sunday
will be as follows: $50 A. M,
mems Bible class; GAS, Sunday School
and ladies' Bible class; 10:45, morning
worship, with preaching and Sacra-
ment of the Lords Supper; $50 P. NJ,
Epworth League; 1880, evening wor-
ship.
All are invited to these meetings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
IN s tt!

Persons having from
$500 to $40, 900 to invest
can place same in a safe,
reliable financial institu-
ton, netting between 5
and 60 Interest per an
mum. Interest payable
every three months.
For information apply to
Chas. F. Holcombe, Agt.
80 Clinton ST.,
Lambertville, N. J.
Feb. %, 1894.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Cent a word Ads.

Every family should own a
burial plot. If you have been
negiecting this important matter
don't let another week 20 by
without giving it attention. Plots
IN Riverview. Elmer Smith. 16
Church Street, Lambertville.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
New Hope M. E. Church.
c. E. Radcliffe, Phi. D., Pastor.

1000 A. M. Sunday School.
HOO A. M. Sacrament of the Lord S
Supper and reception of members.
6:45 P. M. Epthworth League.
1880 P. M. Evangelistic Scrvice. :
Glass meeting Tuesday evening.
Prayer meeting Thursday evening.
Everybody Welcome.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Scale of Regular Prices

OCdIe OF heguIaT FTlCeS
Matinee daily = Adults &C.,
war tax 1c.: children tc.. war
tax 1c. Evening-Adults 13c.
war tax PC children, &C., war
tax lie. Wednesday and Satur-
day evenings = Adults zoe,
children, 10c.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
GEOGRAPHICALLY STATED.

Charlie-You have seen Browns
girl. What is she like? Would you
call her pretty?
jack might if l were talking
to Brown!- Stray Stories.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

FOR QUICK SALE of your Farm
or City Property list it with E. E.
Hawke, 1873 North Union Street, Lam
bertville. Always Square Deal.
5-2-4t.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

FOR SAIE-Seven room brick
house, SO South Mainstreet, Lambert
vile. Garden in rear, good well and
cistern. Apply Miss Mary A. Shan
non, Main St., New Hope.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

There are here ana there sounds. OF
course, which remind US that there are
no war profits in arbitration.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

PRINTER WANTED at the Record
News Office. Apply at once. AZ North
Union Street, Lambertville.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
St. Martins r. C. Church.

Rev. Henry S. S. Hasson, Rector.
Hours of Services-Mass on Sun
days at and 10 o'clock. Holy days at
5 and 8 o'clock.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

Come in and ask us about the
proposition of changing your
wheels and tires to 30x312 all
around. Well take your old tires
in trade.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
Open until Noon on Sundays
Let the Pdpier
Auto Supply
doll Up
Your Ford

Maybe you've bought new
one. The Ford is a fine little car
if you have it equipped correct
ly. Most likely you'll want De-
mountable Wheels, Foot Rest,
a Robe Rail, a Speedometer, or
perhaps a Clock.
This store can make that Ford
of yours look ever so slick. Why
not give us chance to see what
we can do.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

Foch must be glad that he isn't an
american and won't have to run for
president.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
New Hope Presbyterian Church.
Rev. NJ E. Bartholomew, Minister.
Sunday School at 1000 A. M.
Morninn Worshin IL A M

Morning Worship IL A. M.
Evening Service at 7.30 o'clock.
Prayer Meeting Friday evening at
o'clock. Bible lesson on some i'm
portant theme.
Teachers Training Glass following
prayer meeting.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

Thursday, May 8th-
Thomas Ince presents Australia's
beauty Enid Bennett in
s'Happy Though Married"
By Louis and Arthur Zellner.
Also MN. Duncan in "The Creep
ing Death" part three of "The Man
of Might" and Hop Bill Hop" an
Lko comedy.
Friday, May 9th
Benefit for the Lambertville Ath-
letic Club.
Feature picture, Aircraft Special
William Faversham in the great stage
play
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

WANTED Apositiion at house.
keeping. Mrs. Nora Agin, Stanton,
N. J.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
"WOmen, Women"

Also Pathe News, A Mack Sennett
comedy entitled ''The Village Smithy'
and Burton Holmes Travelogue.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
'The Silver King"

Then smiling Billy Parson in
WANTED A Baby" and Ruth Roland
in part of "The Tigers Trail
Tickets 20 cents.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02
1.-THE BRAND

Seven tremendous acts. An all-star
cast.
Also Pathe News and Mutt and
Jeff in the Side Show.
Regular admission
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

FOR SALE room Brick House
in good condition. Inquire of Mrs.
Joseph Mathews, "a Elm Street, Lam
bertville.
so
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

Saturday, May 10th
William Fox presents Evelyn Nesbett
Thaw in her latest play, entitled
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1919-05-02

First Baptist Church
Rev. Geo. Boddis, Phi. D., S. T., D.
Pastor.
The Filer record. (Filer, Idaho) 1919-1930, 1919-11-20

pink carnations formed the charming
centcrpiece al dinner given BY Ns
Marie sommer. ar the home ~ bier
rareufs. sunday. Covers we're laid Tor
AIRS Rosa Allen and family the Misses
Irene WISER. and Elena Sommer 1
Twin Falls and Mafsaref showers of
F,lef. and Tor Mcssrs Springer uai
Resn1Ils Lewis oi Twin Fails. aal
Richard Chuds and T. a.. Fergusun
aho motored dawn frou n1.se
A. - Madlani. Co bier oi ihe Faf-
mars and Nrrsha ilank. sud iluae
pWhiuery. returned ttc ari % the
ases ron l.e game hunt in fa-
northern Negads molnfains Thry
stslked macy q ~ and other game
sal we're sacs iui 81 aoaning D big
back Ihfy visited tne Demo mines
cpcrefi b. l1r. n-h.nlry AID other
q Fncr ard report thar tvsaty mca
-e now ca 15rk CT iha pr7per-y. ne
alma g ioc1icd near Nruisilo
MOSCOW. IDA William Beck arr
Micna-l Thomat-. 81 Fiief. Who are
rsw Urivtrsity az idaho freshmen.
aadr tho idaho debate team Ct aine
70 mbars against a field Of some IS
-crapc eifurs Those who Ecre selected
- members of the team are Carl
61-Ee Of STAR. Phii.p Buck or Fler.
William Briscoc Il Troy, Lawrence
auL az Moscow. Ray AEee Of hanian.
ana william Carpenter q Boise
Her7ates seieced were Michael Tho
metz CT Fler. Floyd White q Boise
nd RaRnar Kuihc-g ~ Moscow
Washington state college and ldaho
are 20 have DUAL debsfe December
le. on the question Resolved, tl.t
Tie United States should ADOPT uui.
versal military fr4ining as 4 parma
Eent policy.
The Filer record. (Filer, Idaho) 1919-1930, 1919-11-20

Mr.. and Mrs. Ward Blakeslee and
family lee the fore part OF the
week Tor san Dernariino. California
Ihey viii make the trip overland and
expect 10 stay IN California an winter.
The El1kesiees viii keep In touch
alth Filler through the Record. and
viii reside al leo East FiIth street
san Bernariino