The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1919-07-03
A MIDDLE AGED MAN.
He Discovers That He Has Passed the
Equator and Is Shocked.

To THE EDITOR or THE SUN-Sir! After
reading on the front page Of The suN
on Sunday the closing chapter OF the
first volume of the Great War, l turned.
AZ 10 my habit, TO tho editorial page.
When started at the northwest corner
OF that page was a fairly happy and
contented citizen. Half way down the
second column glanced at the heading,
How Good Ia Middle Age?" and was
about to pass II by as having nothing
Of particular interest to me, when
discovered that It had to do with the
lwillard-Dempsey fight, and so began to
read It. wish hadn't. For there /
discovered that am middle aged, and In
fact have been for several years and
never even knew 1t, Somehow ] got 1t
in may head that n man must reach IS
before he could be classed as middle
aged.
At FIRST thought could not have
| read Alright and so wiped my glasses
and read again. Yes, there It was At
least my increasing age had not as yet
affected my eyesight But at the reali-
zation OF the import Of what read. the
palsying touch Of age seemed to strike
my hand and THE SuN futtered to the
floor. arose and staggered a thing
never do In the morning. to the mir
| ror. II Is hard to admit 1t, but the gray
hairs are beginning TO show like four
leaf clovers In a twenty acre lot ] saw
the lines Of age marking my face, or
| one side OF II, but later found that the
lines were caused by sleeping too long
| on crcasee in the pillow case. The lines
soon disappeared. ] pictured myself
bent figure supported by cane and
stopping to pat little children on the
head as made my way down the street.
| II II must come to this. l thought, l
will be as graceful about It as possible,
| meaning the child head patting. and
since / have had no experience as
child patter thought OF having a sort
| of dress rehearsal to break myself In.
I had some trouble in finding cane.
| for have not carried one since adopt
| ing . serious view OF life. Finally I
| found one on a shelf In the storeroom.
! and In getting It down knocked down a
bottle, one OF several put by againCt that
evil day approaching. OF course 1t had
| to break. and my cries for a teaspoon
with which to salvage at least part OF
the precious contents brought all the
family. half awake. for It was Sunday
| morning and early. When my wife
asked me what was the matter started
to tell her that I was middle aged. But
she only said something about a hang
oversize is sometimes quite slangy-
and went back to bed.
Having got the cane ! remembered
that we have no children OF our own to
be head patted or elsewhere, so I went
10 our neighbor on the same floor, who
has three. to borrow one. After she had
listened 10 me politely she said her chill
| dren had all gone to church. which was
a white lie, for l saw them peeping
| from the next room. Childless I re-
| turned to my apartment and had to
practice by patting the dog. Far from
showing any pity for me at my increas-
ing age. he jumped about and barked
| and showed all the signs Of dog Joy. /
suppose he thought I was going to take
| him for a walk.
Nobody was sorry for me. Quite mis-
cradle In mind I sat myself down and
thought. Suddenly the lines Of that I'M
gallant song the late Harry Gilfoil used
| to sing came to me:
For a woman. poor thing. is as old as
| she looks.
| But = man 10 as old as he feels
With new resolution there and then
determined to grow younger as my mid.
die age increases, and IL my determine
ton is as strong as my present enthu-
siasm In a few years shall be sitting
In a high chair with Q BIB about my
| neck. TP
New YORK. July @