South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-11-27

cal janitor.
All you gotta do" said Jones. SIS
TO clamp her on the side of the fur
mace. and she'll keep the tempera-
ture dead even at whatever you
want. no matter whether it's cold
er'n the north side OF an iceberg or
a regular summers day. She tends
to that furnace as If she was its
trained nurse. day and night. A
college professor hasn't got any more
specialized intelligence than that lit
tie machine"
Does st put the coal in the fur
mace for you?"
mo, but 1t does pretty near every
thing else. And a man who's too
lazy 10 swing a few shovels OF coal
every night and morning oughtn't
TO have a home at all; he ought to
be a striking miner"
The trouble with our furnace was
an excess Of temperament. 1t was
a head strong, self willed furnace,
which had its own ideas about heat
and ventilation, and carried them out
with a fine contempt for the desires
of the family
It's conduct in the past had led
to more or less bitter dissensions
about how to manage it. When 1
sought to make it listen 10 reason
the lady of the house coldly disap-
proved Of my methods. When she
applied TO It her theories of en-
cheering stood by and pointed out
her mistakes. This did not lead to
that unity of thought and purpose
which ought to be the rock and
foundation of every American home
1t occurred 10 me that putting the
furnace in charge of this mechanical
mentor would be an excellent plan.
Once when the dog had distemper,
and pinned and dropped while we dis
agreed as to the best method of cur
ing him. we gave him into the hands
of a veterinary, and our anxiety fell
from us as a garment. Incidentally
the dog was made whole.
If the plan would work with a
dog. why not with a furnace? Clear
~ it would be better for the furnace
to have one master than two And
machine, which could have no bias
or prejudices, which was quite un-
likely to lose its temper, however
the furnace behaved. seemed its ideal
custodian.
So we went TO the address Jones
gave us and bought a device like
his
For a time everything worked
beautifully. The furnace immedi-
ately took a shine to the monitor we
had installed and instantly carried
out its lightest intunctions.
If we wanted the house heated to
seventy degrees we set the pointer
on a little dial to that figure. Within
ten minutes every thermometer in
every room registered seventy de.
grees. 1t was wonderful.
Then the cold spell came along,
That night, seeming frost in the air
/ set the pointer at 6S, and retired,
sereneiy confident that all would be
we'll
Along about three in the morning
the furnace decided that it had
tamely submitted to a handful OF
cams and clock wheels lonS enough.
I was aroused by a pleasant tinkling
sound in the bath room. which on
investigation proved to be produced
by a small stream of water proceed.
ing from a rent in a frozen pipe.
Down cellar. where I hurried 10
shut off the water 1 found other
frozen pipes. I looked at the fur
mace. It was lifeless mass of dust
and ashes within, a sullen figure OF
defiance without
patiently rebuilt the fire. This
time 1 took no chances. I set the
pointer on the dial at ninety.
IF she goes out at seventy" I
reasoned, 'at ninety she ought to
put up a fairly good fire"
went back to bed. In an hour
one Of the neighbors, after vainly
ringing the front door bell aroused
me by flinging a stone against my
bed room window.
do you know your house is on
fire" he replied. as l stuck my head
out of the window.
mo, is it?"
Looks like il. There's a stream
or smoke a quarter of a mile high
coming out of the chimney, and a
noise like Niagara inside"
hurried down cellar again. There
was considerable going on inside the
furnace. The hot water coil had let
90 in several places. and the jets OF
steam from the assures were shoot
ing the ashes out Of all the hampers.
as we'll as up the chimney The
place was filled with steamy fog and
ashy vapor, and was not, for the mo-
ment, habitable.
I went up TO the first floor 70
await developments. All about me
noticed a strong aroma OF hot
varnish Laying my hand carelessly
on the back OF a chair I Observed