St. Tammany farmer., 1919-05-24

to him. "lky, for wy you don't
write? ky, how is your health?
Last night the store in Covington
burned. l got ten thousand dollars
insurance"
Not hearing, he sent another cable
a week later. "Iky, for Wy you don't
write it no letter to me? How is
your health? Friday the store in
Shreveport burned. l got it fifteen
thousand dollars insurance. ky,
please write papa"
One month went by and no letter
from ky. The old man again cabl-
ed "Iky, for Wy you don't answer
papa? Three times l make 1t cable
gram. ky, how is your health?
Monday night the store in New Or
leans burned all up. Iky, it was
such hot fire. / got thoity thaus-
and dollars insurance. Please write
papa"
So ky finally sends papa a cable:
Don't be Worrying about my health
in France. Just keep the home fires
burning. ky Cohen"
Did it ever occur to you that it
that air house." them there
books" as to speak Of that air ship?
The egg comes from the hen; the
hen comes from the egg. 1t may
seem hard, but it has been boiling
for long time.
A teacher of one of the schools Of
St. Tammany parish was questioning
boy pupil about the word re
cuperate." AS an example, we will
take the case Of your father. He is,
of course, a hard working man.
Yes, said the little fellow. And at
night he arrives home worn out,
DOESN'T he? Yes'm, again said the
boy. Then, continue dthe teacher,
it being night, his work Is over, and
he is tired and worn out. What does
he do? That's just what ma wants
to know, replied the boy.
A foreigner was boasttng to an
American of ancestry. He took a
coin out Of his pocket which had the
impression of former king on its
surface. THAT" he said, lis the
likeness Of the man that made my
grandfather a lord" After glanc-
ing at it the American drew from
his pocket penny bearing the In
dian head. "That," said the Ameri-
can, "is the likeness of the man who
made my grandfather an angel"
In great many cases money is q
splendid substitute for brains.
Brains may be all right, but did
you ever notice the success OF the
block-head with pleasing person
ality
Nowadays the girls have to be
careful when they are walking on q
railroad track. The cow catchers
have caught all the stray cows and
now they are looking for their calves.
\ A diplomat Is man who remem-
bers a Woman's birthday and forgets
her age.
The only time some men are ahp-
py is when they are intoxicated.
That's no reason why they should be
happy all the time.
The other day / saw fight be-
tween butcher and a milkman. /
was on the side of the butcher. oh,
well, blood Is thicker than water.
II it wasn't for some boarding
- r%C II sya+
an dgo out Of business.
A modest young woman went to a
photographers and asked IL he took
children's pictures. He replied Eyes;
four dollars a Dozen" The little
lady blushed and said, II suppose I'll
have to wait then. I've only got
eleven now."
The other day while In New Or
leaffins, Louis Stockfeth called to see
a friend that works in ohe city court.
The Judge, who was trying case,
was disturbed by Louis moving about
in the rear of the court room, lift
ing chairs and looking under things.
Young man." the Judge called out,
you are making a good de of un-
necessary noise" "Your honor" re-
piled Louis, 81 lost my hat and | am
looking for it, "Well. people often
lose whole suits in here without max
ing that much disturbance" said the
Judge.
Perrin: What is the greatest en-
gineering feat in the world?
Gilbert: Wheeling, West V ir-
ginia.
Stockfeth: What Is the greatest
surgical feat in the world?
DR.. Verdier: Lansing, Michigan.
Beauty and summer skirts are
only skin deep.
The keynote of good breeding is
"B" natural.
Last Saturday night a Vamp in
troduced her summer style of Vamp-
ing.
Times have changed, and changed
greatly. Noble Eyes came, saw, but
did not conquer, as he did in days
gone by. Most of his old flames had
been extinguished. The only thing
Noble conquered on his last visit was
a box Of violet talcum powder, which
he used freely.