The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-04-16
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

Another remarkable thing is what a lack of brevity there is in a lawyers brief If the other fellow thinks he can whip you he isn't going to listen to any talk about arbitration.
 You may have noticed that the woman whose husband is worth s2O,OOO puts on more dog than the woman whose husband is worth s2,o0o,00O.
 A woman is so cocksure that her hus- band can't do anything without her find ing 1t out that when he does start run- ming around with another woman all the neighbors know it before she does Don't laugh at the farmer. He has a good appetite and a sound digestion, and that's more than most city fellers have Don't worry about your enemies You always know where they stand-that is 1 more than you can say about your friends.
 Some men are such liars that even when they are rattling a pocketful of loose change they will complain that money is !, tight
 i If it takes a man long time to make up hFs mind to do the right thing it is sign that there is no money in it for him. l And what has become of the o. f. man who used to use clove for chaser? | A man will marry a living picture and | then get mad because she insists on him supplying her with suitable frame. 1 Many wife has bad time of it be- | cause she happened to marry a good fel- low.
 This is a bad old world. A play that is indorsed by the clerk will take in 10 cents while play that is denounced by the clergy is taking in thousand dollars. l And bI,va kinfolks who are we'll to do are also hard to do.
 You can't blame a woman for calling her husband brute when he gets his
 back up like camel, and roars like a lion, and kicks like a mule l What has become of the old-fashioned man who used to put in all of his time 1 denoqncing the robber trusts? l No matter how flat-chested a girl may be. she knows that she would look good in low-necked dress if she had one to 1 wear.
 Any time man points an unloade gun al you in fun, hit him as hard as you can. Better to have his eyes in mourning g
 for a week or two than have your rela-
 tives in mourning for year or two.
 And there is the kind of man whs thinks that because he once paid 25 cents for a o0-cent supper at Church socia he has paid his way into heaven
 Ever notice that the more cheap rings a girl has on her fingers the more her hair and her hat need fixing?
 It is we'll to remember that you ear always help your friends by not givine them advice.
 | Funny how sleepy man can get 1T
 church at Il a. m. when the preacher is lstarting his sermon, and how wide-awaks
 he can be in theater at II D. m. whe'
 a girl is starting her shimmy dance.
 Of course, it is none of his business
 But dvery man thinks it is his bushes. when an old man marries n young girl.
 Any time you go to the theatre with |
 man friend don't leave the seat coupon.
 in your pocket. If your wife ever finds them nothing in the world can make hel
 believe that some painted blonde didn use the other coupon.
 We do not wonder that there are s'
 many divorces nowadays! Many brid is making affinity eyes at the best ma,
 while the preacher is tying the knot. 1 A lot of men won't remember 1919 as tn year Reace was declared. But they will a!
 ways remember it as the last year boc'
 beer made its appearance.
 A girl hides her small ears under he
 hair. But d man gets his haad shaved s you can see his big ears