The Washington herald., 1919-12-31
CHAPTER sS-Continued.

CHATTER S-Continued.
'oh. I'm In trouble. / simply had
to get away. and this was all ! could
think of. wanted TO blow a real
hole through myself and ] tried three
times. But l missed myself"
Missed yourself? How? why?"
Branch wiped the sweat from his
face. Il fiinched-shut my eyes and
pulled the trigger"
Norine seated herself weakly; she
stared in bewilderment at the unhsp-
py speaker. Afraid? You. FL De-
monio! Why. you aren't afraid OF
anything"
Say! You don't believe all that
stun, do you? I'm afraid Of my
shadow and always have been. I'm
not brave and never was. They told
me i was going to die and il scared
me SO that tried to end things quick
ly. / couldn't bear to die slowly. to
know that was dying by inches. But.
Lord! II scared me even worse to
go into battle. / was blind with fright
all the time and ] never got over it,
Why. the sight Of a gun gives me a
chill. and ] jump every time one goes
on. God, how I've suffered. ] went
crazy at our first engagement-crazy
with fear. / didn't know where
was. or what happened. or anything
Afterward. when they heiled me as
hero. / thought they were kidding,
that everybody must know how fright
ened i was. After a time / saw that
I'd fooled them. and that shamed me.
/ Then-I had to keep il up or become
ridiculous. But it nearly killed me -
IF you're speaking the truth. I'm
not sure you're such a coward as
you make out" Norine said.
"Oh yes. / am. Wait! Before I
knew it / had a reputation. Then /
had TO live up to it." The speaker
groaned. 1T wasn't so bad as long
as felt sure ] was going to die. any
how. but when j discovered i was
getting we'll" Branch raised a pair
OF tragic eyes. his tone changed. "Tn
tell you what cured me. ] scared my
self well. Those bugs in my lungs
died from su1ocation. for never
breathed as long as there was a
Spaniarl in the same country with
me. One day ! found that ] couldn't
cough il / tried. / got strong. /
slept well. And eat? Huh, / COB
bled my share of food and whined
for more. i stole what belonged 10
the others. / began TO enjoy myself
to have fun. Life opened up nice and
rosy. / fell in love with my new self
and the Joy OF living. Then / didn't
want to die-never had. you under
stand, except 10 cheat the bugs: IL
gave me the horrors 10 think Of the
chances I'd taken To be strong, TO
be healthy and free from pain, to tear
my food like a wild animal. and to
enjoy hard work was all new and
, strange and wonderful. / was drunk
with it. To think of being cut down.
crippled. reduced to the useless. rniser-
able thing l had been, was intoler-
able. / was twice as scared then as
/ I'd ever been. for had more to lose.
/ You understand? ! forced myself 10
do the insane things expected of me.
Z when people were lookins-natural
pride, l suppose-but when they
weren't looking. oh. how ! dogged it.
! crawled on my belly and hid in holes
! like snake"
"How-funny." Norine exclaimed.
You've got a blamed queer idea
[ of humor." Branch flashed. with a
show of his former irritability.
/ And so YOU shot YOURSELF"
Yep j tried to select a good spot
where it wouldn't hurt or prove too
inconvenient. but-there isn't a place
to spare on a fellows whole body.
He needs every inch OF himself every
minute. / was going TO shoot myself