The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-06-11
My Fall.

hair streaked with gray. l see a figure bent, fat-chested, angular. A shabby gown does not improve the appearance of the almost haglike woman whose face stares back at me from the mirror.
 It is my birthday. I am 2S years of age today, but you would take me for more than 40, for woman worn with the toll of the world who is now treading that path which leads to the grave.
 But no, I am only 2S, and if l could show you a photograph, the sole relic I have of the days that were-and taken of me three years ago-in America, you would see a girl with a good figure, abundant hair, a face that was pretty can say that now-and a smile and a laugh that an admirer had once said was like water pouring from a silver jar
 Three years ago I was well-to-do, successful in my profession, happy vivacious, with plenty of admirers, and now I am an old, old woman, ruined in bodily health, with a mind and soul scared and torn with the horrors of what I have been through with just a mere pittance on which to live, in one sparsely furnished room, without a friend or relauon' or even an acquaintance.
 An old, old woman of 2s is sitting down on her birthday to tell her story. The money that 1t will per haps bring in will buy me little ex- tra food, and a dress in which l can gon on the street, perhaps.
 One day five years ago lawyer in New York informed me that an uncle of mine had been representing a large Chicago business house in London, had suddenly died, leaving me a le- gacy of s2O,00O.
 was an orphan - I sometimes thank God for that now, for my father and mother had worshlpped me. and I them-and I lived when l was not on the road with a woman much older than myself, a sort or cousin she was, contributing to my own support out of my little ancoIile of $500 year left me by my fatner.
 She was a good soul was Sarah that will do for her name-and when I came into my money she begged and impIored me to invest It III some good, straight security.
 But I was foolish, reckless; thought there was plenty of time Tor that. In the meanwhile, I was gong 10 have my fling. I was gong 10 have fine dresses, jewels, fine frlends' all the things I had longed TOT ever since I had arrived at womanhooo' For I was a little snob then-oh' yes know it now So, to London l came +o collect the s2O.000 left me and to live the life" To the stage l plo foraveu for ever. Sarah came with me.
 Youth and Folly
 succeeded in getting into cer- tain sort of society, the society thaC likes to see it's name mentioned as having been at such and such rst- aurant, or being described III the papers as rather daring ana smart s,d soon began to find out my soo ooo uyou1dn't go very far. My dressas cost me a lot; I must be Tn Inc mode. the movement, of course. And my losses at bridge were consld- erable.
 T know now that my chaperone, 1Irs Merrvon, was just simply that worst of all sharks. a female shark- It was she who introduced me to the sci in which I moved, she who per suaded me that I was an excellent bridge player, and she who attracted to herself the greater part of my los- ings.
 sometimes would look at my bank book and think that I ought to begin to pull up. But there was young. was a woman, and-l was in love- I must keep myself beautl1ul in the eyes of my beloved l must always be at my best, I could never reF,1sa to be where he was likely to be. Besides he was rich, and my 1u- I,i Iyn1Ild be safe.
 let me do myself the justice to say that if he had been as poor as Job l 1ro,,1d have married him gladly; but all the same, for both our sakes, was pleased that he had plenty or money. He had followed me to Lon don, fearing that unless he watched over me constantly I might be drifted into the whirlpool of London's bad society.
 However, the proposal I had hoped for never came. One night we part ed. and there was something in his eyes as he looked into mine that made my heart f1utter as he whls- nered to me, asking me to meet him a+ a certain spot in the park on the following day, as he had sometnins he wanted to say to me
 We said good night, and Che next noorning I learnt that he was dead. Within a. few minutes of leaving me there had been an accident to his motor car, and he was killed on the spot.
 That is all The man I loved was dead.
 Depression and Drugs.
 Ii was then that the horrible black fit of depression, that ever-present melanch olia, took possession of me. saw myself daily growing thinner and paler, and though I tried to laugh and joke, for none had known of my secret, more than once I heard comments on my altered appearance, sometimes to my face, sometimes be- hind my back.
 And try though I might. pick-me- ms. medicines, tonics, fresh air, nothing seemed to do me good, to re- vive me, to take away that weary, depressed feeling, the lassitude of mind, the jaundiced outlook on every thing.
 More than once I was tempted to trv what drink would do, but curi- ously enough spirits of all kinds had