The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1919-10-04


of the league OF nations. we here
with print an editorial from the New
York American of Saturday, Septem-
Der IS, 1919. The editorial appear
ed under the above head:
1.-THE minority report upon the
treaty closes with this tribute to the
proposed league:
The league of nations Is the only
plan proposed to redeem the world
from war. pestilence and famine
1T seems to us that this eulogy
falls short of the possibilities.
True, IL is indeed wondrous
achievement to abolish not only fight
ing but also sickness and hunger. but
we are sure that Messrs. Hitchcock.
Pomerene. ct al. have overlooked
many other contributions to the gay
ETY. of nations offered by the immor-
tai document in question.
There is practically no end of the
happy uses to which the constitution
of the league of nations can be put.
Properly toasted and shredded.
there is no reason why il should not
be universally used as a breakfast
cereal and boiled in milk IL would
be an invaluable food for infants.
Printed on sheets of convenient
size and covered with molasses and
glue. It would make an unparalleled
fly paper: carefully diluted with flour
paste and insect powder 1t would ere
ate havoc with cockroaches; dipped
at intervals in kerosene and thrust
into cracks and bedsteads, II would
infallibly check the ravages Of bed
bugs; and used as seamless under
wear. II would battle the most de-
termined and bloodthirsty coolies.
I'VE are amazed that ruthless,
ignorant. heartless and pigmy-minded
senatorial majority can even think OF
mangling such remarkable docu-
ment and so breaking the heart of
humanity. hopefully looking forward
to flyless, cockroachless. bedbug-
less. louseless world.
1--WE make bold to ask Senator
lodge and associates quite sternly
Ia event ou.--..., 4. oo,s,ae.--.''.
IL they even stopped l6ef. 1lkf VIVA,
disappointment they are planning TO
bring to the expectant heart of the
world by their reprehenslble profly,
procockroach. probedbug, procootie
sentiments.
Can it be that representatives OF
these nefarious enemies of mankind
have seduced certain Senator'S by at
tractive offers OF immunity from the
bites. stings and scratches in order
to gain senatorial assistance in their
pernicious plots and propaganda
Nor have VIC begun even to cat
alogue the virtues and possible
achievements of this wonderful pan
acea.
Taken exactly as directed by the
doctor himself It will cure irritability
OF the temper, inflammation of the
vocabulary, overappetite for profits
high cost of living. shortage of coal
frost on the corn; worms in the cot
ton. sore frontiers. national jealous
les, wrinkles. red noses, racial in
compatibility. difference In languages
pips in poultry, Irish agitation, Ger
man music desire for food fatty ex
cess of plumbers bills, strikes, ex
cessive perspiration of taxpayers, re
liglous disputes, ingrowing toenaill
warts, secret diplomacy autoeracy
jazz playing, law suits, broken um
brellas, the drink appetite, tendene
OF eggs TO decay, fatty degenerate
OF the dollar bill. plant lice. tel'
phone irritations, exaggerated growt
OF tips. interruption Of presidents
monologues, deficiencies of dividend
doors arising from garbage, Guitar
eous eruptions of colonies, Japanes
imperial itch. third term bees in tn
bonnet. bats IN belfries and million
OF other Affections that beset mar
kind,
And shall plgmy minds, who d