davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27
81 Mss HELEN ROWLAND


derstands a man untu she has ca
tered 20 a masculine digestion for az
I least few years and learned by hard
I experience when % offer him kisses,
when TO offer him sandwiches and
when 20 offer him a dyspepsia tab
let"
~EractIyr' acqulesced the Bachelor.
heaminE upon the waiter as the latter
uncovered the steaminE brown guinea
hen for his approval. The way to a
mans heart IS through his stomach
Not all the advanced theories OF the
modern Elrl can Improve on that old
axiom
Way eAruund7 his stomHch.
Nonsense The Widow royed with
her asnararus fndfffereutlv. The way
20 a mans heart IS AROUND his
stomach II husbands and wives
never saw each other before after
noon they would be sweethearts for
ever and divorce would become as
obsolete as monarchy and as uruonu-
lar as the kaiser It's the rosy We
sion OF the breakfast table teta-a-rete
that lures most people into marriage
and the cold. gray reality OF the
breakfast table Crouch that drives
old saws 20 the contrary % Is not the
vile who gets up and cooks his
breakfast that holds her hushand's
love the longest, bat the one who lies
abed and avoids SEEING him before
breakfast That old myth that mar
riage 90 a woman. IS merely the dei-
ticatlou OF mans stomach and
perpetual sacrifice on the altar Of
his digestion has tempted many a
poor young thing 20 burn her fingers
90 the bone-merely IN order 20 feed
her husband into q state OF chronl
dyspepsia Ever since Eve offered
Adam the apple, woman has been held
responsible for mans digestion and
expected 10 spend half her life in
planning tempting things to feed him
and TIE other half IN curing him
from their Effects
Is Noble LIE Work
Wen broke in the Bkchelor. On
high good humor. 'it'E atnohlc life
work. isn't lt7 When you consider
that The affairs OF the whole world
hinge on and revolVe around ir2 II
every thing. from the stock market %
marriage. and from revolutions 20
world peace. depends on the state o.
the human stomach. why shouldn't
that sacred organ be deified2 Feed q
bolshevist and he becomes a political
piutocratl Feed cynic and he be-
comes an optimist, IS merely a mat
ter OF dinner-oefore and after tax
ingi'
yes" admitted the widow. with a
sigh -the destiny Of the whole world
has ALWAYS hung on the state Of the
suspected that GO vas not Cleopatra'g
beauty. but the way her cook fried
tongues that induced
Anthony 20 change the history Of
Rome for her. And I've always felt.
secretly. that GO was German cooking
that drove the kaiser mad and IN
spired him 20 start the world war.
And certainly Hymn o. Hate was
written on top OF a late luncheon of
wlenerWurst and pretZels. It's the
light French breakfasts thar keeps
the Freuchman optimistic and licht-
hearted and the heavy English
breakfasts that make the EnEllshman
stolid and serious; and the hurriedly
Eulped down American brea lrfasfs
mat make the American a bundle Of
nervous activity. It's the cooks that
make the world so 'round-and yet
WHAT cook ever got any credit for
ltl What cook ever had a statue or q
erected 20 him or herr
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

o. filled with Etrunge scent cigars.
an tn clerk a. q Teller that'l fnlled at
everything. But you don't have q
leave q call when you sleep AZ q coun-
try hotel fouHl be M anyhow. Most
country hotels only bed you an you're
supposed 90 Ell AZ a Gneek Cafe with
a coul-oll range next door. But q tn
dinlni room q opeFntin- fits only worse
an more Of a.. tn modern country
hGtel d merely a shelter house with q
register an a clerk, thick Ink. an n
prehistoric peu.1
give jest returned from q long
automobile trip said Tell BfnkIey,
''nn' tn only bad luck I had WIZ afny-
In all night mt country hotel
Copyright National Newspaper Service
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

s7T'HEa's 40 Institution IN this eoun-
i try that has deEenrEated ~ RIP
IDLY an a. thOrouEhIy an tn country
hoteI.7 declared Lafe Bad this morn
IN whether IT'S Became o better
railroad service, tn long distance tel
ephone. tn interurban. or what, tn
fact remains that tn modern country
hotel r. jest about as honey an cheer
ful as a HlHtin' rink NJ five o'clock IN
tn mornin'- In towns where there's
only one hotel 1t IS afroel0us, an
where ther'= tive tn rivalry between
'eI-l as q which kin be tn most aboul-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

the act OF looking at his watch
stopped 20 stare at her.
stomHchs Must Not suffer
Like the French PREMIER repeat
ed the Widow. che wouldn't let she
six hundred delegates sign the ar
misfice until they had had their
defeuner. That's why Il was signed
az o'clock IN the afternoon instead
OF al II In the morning-and we
never got the news until the next
day. What was the nervous anxiety
Of millions Of people. IN HIS youRg
life. compared 70 the possible suffer
ing % six hundred masculine stom-
Hear. heart cried the Bachelor.
admirinEly. wise old bird He
knew what he was doing. II he had
hailed them there on empty stomachs
quite likely half OF them would have
come with a crouch and refused TO
sign at anF
chow well you know them.a
sighed the widow, mcekiy per
hitting herself 60 be hurried int
the nearest restaurant and sink
ing hreafhlessly down nt the first
available table. eNo man ever I'D
anything ErnciousIy or enthusas-
ticnIIy or effectively before lunch
eon-from mixing peace 20 max
ing loves7
sIIumphl" commented the Bachelor.
Without taxing MS eyes from the al
Turing menu card. NO sane man ever
made love before luncheon"
True" agreed the Widow. That's
where a widow has such a vast ad-
vantage over a young girl She
doesn't expect It She would know
intuitiTely that a proposal coming
from a man between breakfast Waf-
lies and luncheon trufflea was not
sinceref'
The Bachelor gave the order and
leaned back beaming with anticipa-
tion as the waiter hurried off TO fill T.
yes he assented. shamelessly.
romance and sentiment are as hard
10 awaken before midday as a prlma
donna But the average young girl
expects 10 be fed thrills and flattery
and devotion all day long. II a chap
doesn't play Romeo on the golf links
before breakfast, she thinks his love
Is dead"
Why HoneymoonH Crash.
when It's merely his emotions
that are IN a state Of coma sympa-
tnized the Widow; IF he is silent
and sinister. she fancies that he IS
suffering from soul starvation when
u is merely a famished appetite
That's Why so many honeymoons 90
down with crash. No woman IN
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

ct NIGHT have known you wouldn'i
1 be Interested IN them," eE-
claimed the widow. IN a disappointed
tone. as the Bachelor dragged her
gently but forcibiy away from the
struggling crowd OF women At the
tapestry sale"
Il AM" he protested. still tugginE
AZ her elbow. and guiding her fIrmlv
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27
THE MAN WITH THE LIMP

Antole JE=-eL French Socialist
deputy. ia murdered in the Latin quarter
O. Paris and the Parisian police arrest
1llle- LantaiEne, who has been seen with
him, an actress, daughter Of the chief Of
the French political police Tenant an
American working IN Paris FOR a private
detective agency, contends that she g In
uoceut re lives With lord Menzies- Kerr
On bachelor quarters. His lordship vs. ks
with limp.
Tenant visits the gil aud she tells him
room
Tenant sees the Eudience hlHH MA
LantaiEne down at the opera because q
thinks Ehs murdered Jarvet. and goes &c
Partisan cellar restaurant IN Response 20
ar Anonymous note.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

out OF the dusty
auction rooms into
the sunlight j
adore theml But Z
can't EAT them
And I'm famish-
ing! We can come
hack after lunch
can't We
T h G Wild o "
sighed and snapped
her lorgnettes to-
gether.
You're just Ike
Ciemenceaul she
announced. dra-
matically.
Like - which
Whm nmmna nHmm n
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27
Seen Through The Widows Lorgnette;
She Insists Way To A Mans Heart Is
Not Through His Stomach, But Around It

what cook ever received anything ez-
cepi the lettovera from the tah1s ard
the complaints when things vent
wrong
aOh. Weugs and the Bachelor
zftrred his coffee lud uuffrd ~
clElrefte with a delicious sense
o. well being which nothing could
mari alf uuEhf 60 be nuflclenf for
a woman 20 knew thar she hniln q
mans destiny On her hand
along with the frying r1n-N she
loves him.
1T is-lf she loves him ENOUGH
admitted the Widow. ruefullV. 9th
erTise she would never exchange thu
pleasure OF che ming him after din
1er for the privilege o. ENDURING him
before breakfast And there would
be no marrying-nor giving On mar
riaEe"
And the world would Be fust lie
heavenl- finished the Bachelor, Tlth
unrufled cheerfulness.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27

DIFFERENCES.
7 HAVE small use for vanity.
4 But pride IS pleasing unto ne
II IL be pride that's based upon
The consciousness OF somethlns yea
That's worth the winning, In conceit
Les much OF chaff. and naught OF
wheat.
But worthy OF respect I deem
A well-earned need OF SELF Esteem
II out Of an ones daily dreaming.
Has sprung something that's worth
esteeming-
Copyright 1918 BE- the Mcclure
Newspaper SyndicGte.l
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27
A Line O. Cheer
Each Day O. The Year
BY JOHN KEEDRIcK BANGS.


UNBELIEF.
TIE doubling soul that can't be-
1 mevs In God
Bears through his darkened DAYS
heavy rod.
And loses In the end mes sweetest
pelf
For having lost the best thaes IN
himself
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-27


A man VIII never bother % uous e.
u he has your love 80 Ions as he o
sure OF your lattery. youf kisses ard
your cooking
II child can't yen On n. q mnn
cuur Erourh in @ and woman
cant wear ouf her old clothes ana
wear off her nervous headaches IN
e. Thlt'I ehomen for, lnyho1TF
e always bcres a man 70 have q
woman yearn 20 1e the sun OF bis sr-
istences when eli he wanted Waa a
cute little satellite % reTolVs around
him
One pure steady flame % love kssps
Up the glow OF Ilfe-hut continually
letting IL die out and startling q new
Tame IS apt % leave one with q
burnt-out heart
Most men fall 81 love with a rlvTer
heart power and a twin-slN Vanltv.=
Copyright. 1913 the Wheeler syndi-
cate. Inc
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
g.: Sporting Gossip From Many Fields :-:
Numbering Of Players May Cause Dispute In Game On Coast Between Harvard And OregOn Weserners Object To Officials
 Mentioned By Crimson And Suggest Tiny Maxwell Of Phla

Pasadena, Cal, Dec. 24-Whether Harvard's eleven shall wear numbers
 in the New Years Day game with Oregon is one of the questions which the Tournament of Roses football committee will seek to decide as soon as the Crimson squad arrives Friday. Oregon's team, like other Pacific con
 ference elevens, carried numbers in all games of the past season, but opposition to their so doing in the New Years game, unless Harvard al so adopts the system, is said to have developed.
 Selection of officials also may cause their appearance, according to per lOregon's coach. Harvard's expressed
 of Wesleyan and D. w. Merrirlan,
 Pennsylvania referee, is said to be
 opposed by Huntington, who favors
 Robert Maxwell of Philadelphia, for
 ouo, if an eastern man Is chosen, and
 either W. S. Ktenholz, Pasadena George NJ. VarneH, Spokane, Wash
 or Sam DoIan, Corvallis, Oregon, for another.
 Meanwhile, however, Huntington is bending every energy toward getting
 his charges in the best possible condi- tion. The schedule of two work outs daily, started Monday, Is expected tC continue the remainder of the week with a possible lay off Saturday after noon to permit the Oregonians tc watch the California Interscholastic football championship game.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
Connie Mack Oldest
 Manager in Majors;
 Has Passed 57 Mark

New York, Dec. 24-Cornelius Me GuIcuddy, better known as Connie Mack, is the oldest manager in the major leagues Connie will cele- brate his ffty-seventh birthday to- Gay, having been born on Dec. 23, 1862. When the baseball season opens late next spring the directing genius of the Athletics will be close to nfty-eight years of age.
 There are several magnates in the majors who are Comics seniors, but there are no managers. He is eleven years the senior of John AIcGrsl'T, leader of the Giants, and Miller Hug gins at thirty-nine, is a mere youth. Why, Connie was playing ball be- fore Hug was born.
 Mack is one Of the most reraarfa,- bIe figures in American sport. Connie has been identified with baseball for the past thirty-fve years and during that time he has seen the game in is most interesting phases.
 Philadelphia fans claim that Mack has been one of the city's best ad- ycrtisernents, and tonight they are going to show their appreciation in a substantial manner.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
YANKEES PLAY BROOKLYN CLUB
 IN SPRINCTIME

New York, Dec. 24-The Yankees will play the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field next spring on the same days in which the Giants and Red SOx will play their spring series on the Polo Grounds Games between the Yankees and Dodgers have been scheduled in Brooklyn on April 10 Il and 12, the Saturday, Sunday and Monday before the opening of the championship season.
 Whether the Yankees train in Jacksonville or some other spot in Florida, the players will not report for training until some time between March 1 and 1. It is planned 70 have the players remain in Jackson vile for about thirty days. The series which will be played on the way north with the Dodgers will be brief, as only five games are sched- uled between Jacksonville and New York. The clubs will play only ths larger cities, as they had their fill Of tank towns last spring.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
RIBBONS TAKE
 THIRD PLACE BY
 WIN LAST NIGHT

By reason of their victory over Ansonia last night the Blue Ribbon basketball players are tied for third place in the Interstate league now. The Ribbons beat the valley boys by 4 to 28 in a fast contest which was watched by a big crowd at Colonial hall. The local players displayed an excellent brand of shooting and the fans cheered frequently.
 Schwab, the Ribbon forward. was not expected to play as he recently injured his ankle but he appeared with a bandage around the injured member and put up a great game. Eddie White was another star for the locals. Reich and Dehnert also did well. Chief Muller and Calder made some difficult shots for Ansonia but their efforts failed to check the on sIaught of the Ribbons. Wassn CT and Harvey also did good work for Ansonia. Harry WaIlum was referee and his work was excellent. Passaic will play here next Tuesday. Last nights score:
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
CASEY STENCIL WANTS ID JOIN
 GIANTS' SQUAD

Kansas City. Dec 24---Charles Ca sey) StengeI. demon outfeIder and slugger extraordinary, who belongs to the Philadelphia Nationals, but re- fused to report to that club last sea son. has just returned from Califor- mia, where he took a team on a tour about two months ago. Casey reports that the trip was a success, both from g. financial and playing standpoint, and says the rest of the team will re- turn Sunday.
 StengeI does not know what he will do in 1920. He still belongs to the Phillies, but hopes they will trade him to the New York Giants It would seem that McGraw could use Stengel nicely in his outfield.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
Jim Thorpe Released
 To Akron By Braves

New York, Dec. 24-Jim Thorpe, the travelling outfeIder of the Giants. has been released by Boston to the Akron (Ohio) Club of the Interna- tionaI League. Thorpe played last season with the Braves, but Mana ger Stallings doesn't want him. Just why Boston doesn't want to keep Thorpe Is difficult to understand. After sev- eraI years in the major leagues the famous Indian suddenly blossomed into a good hitter during the 1919 sea son.
 Thorpe ranked with the best bats men in the National League last sea- son and had a high average of .327, playing in 62 games. For several sea sons during the Spring training Nc Graw spent a great deal of time on Thorpe, trying to make a batter out of him. Thorpe seemed to get every other twist of the game except the hitting. He was always fooled by 8 curve ball. Jim clouted the ball hard for the Braves and made quite a name for himself as a pinch hitter.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
n--1-

falls out of the 'tbig fellows. Cen Ire College, hitherto unheard of. dropped West Virginia after the latter had thrashed Princeton 25-0. Rod gers of West Virginia was picked for the all-American team by Waiter Camp and is acknowledged to be the finest exponent of the forward pass in moleskins.
 Beckett was heavily backed on the long end to beat Georges Caarpen- tier. The Frenchman capsized the dope" in seventy seconds with a right swing to the point of the jaw. Jimmy Wilde was big favorfte over Jack Sharkey when the much touted fSr:ton made his first appearance in his country in Milwaukee. Sharkey, Q the surprise of all, outpolnted Jim ny with ease and sustained this ears tradition of "short end" luck. If short end" luck hasn't spent itself by next summer there will be a new heavywe:g ght champion of the world. Ever stop to consider that?
 Copyright, 1919, By The Wheeler Syndicate, Inc)
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
WILL
 STAY IN MAJOR
 LEAGUE IN 1920

New York, Dec. 24---Biu Piercey, a Yankee pitcher who already has been tried out by the club several times, has written to the club asking if there
 IS any chance to stick with the club next season. If there isn't, I wish you'd let me stay out here Cthe Pa cific coast), because I like 1t better out here than any place else" wrote Ptercey.
 In reply Harry Sparrow, business manager of the Yankees, informed Piercey that he had. the stuff to re- main in New York and could remain in New York if he so desired.
 You might a. well make up your
 mind to play with the Yankees, be cause if you don't make good here some taiIend team in the majors will pick you up. They won't let us waiver you out of the league" Piercey pitched for Sacramento last season. and was one of the best pitch CTS in the minors. With a fifth place team he won 26 games and lost IS, and appeared in 54 games. He led the Coast League pitchers in strikeouts with 163, but also stood pretty high in bases on balls with 14S.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
BOOKS 0F CLEvEL AND
 CLUB MUST BE SHOWN
New York American Owners Win Another Victory When Court Orders Investigation As to Whether Ban John
 son Owns Stock i'll Western Club.

on examination of him before trial admissions were obtained from him strongly indicative that he was in fact 8 stockholder of the Cleveland club in that amount
 The affidavit of Col. T. L. Huston of the Yankees in the case was in part:
 Upon the admission made by the defendant, Johnson on his examina- ton before trial. and upon tnforma- ton and belief, deponent alleges that he (Johnson) is in reality 8 stock holder of the Cleveland Baseball Com pany, and that by examination of the said witnesses and the said records it can be shown that he has in all respects acted and voted as a stock holder; that his omission to have his stock transferred into his own name is a mere ''blind'' to prevent discov- cry of his financial interest in this club, and that his story about at- tending and voting at the stockhold- CTS meetings as the representative Cbut without a proxy) of a deceased secretary of his is a mere concoc- tiOn."
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24

remarkable form at Forest Hills in vanqufshing the Australian cracks. Brookes and Patterson along with other stars In the tourney. John ston demonstrated in his wins over Murray and Patterson that he was perhaps the steadi est courtsmah that ever gripped a racquet. The soaring brtIliancy Of Tlden, however, coupled with his previous defeat of Johnston earlier in the season seemed to give him a slight ''edge'' with pnophets of the cour-. Johnston won quite handiIy largely through h:s unwaver- ing cOmDoSUre.
 stranele~ Lewis waa hocEed to beat r12rs1E-o vl'o0 the f'"'e -A~'W him for the ti+'e ii CIV --,- The Sae"17- . a5, was suu.,.s-6-y ''-i -" w-oH ha zuEEcr.y cam to lie 7~E = :-rn2cd z, sZ55o to the r1~t s o"t'v ri CT 'Bby" had established himself as the monarch of the ancient game.
 In football the tbig'' colleges fail ed niserably against smaller elevens West Virginia, Dartmouth, Colgate, Syracuse and Boston College took
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
NAVY PICKS EVEN
 AS CAPTAIN AGAIN

Annapolis, Md, Dec. 24-For the second year, EIidshipman Ed ward c. Even of Portsmouth, Y. H., will lead the Naval Academy football team, having been named by those who took part In the de- feat of the Army at New York last month. It Is heiieved that such an honor has been best0w- ed on only one other Navy player in the history Of the Academy. Even has played right end on the team for two years and has been q member of the squad fer an extra year. He WAS a third class man last year ard would have graduated tilis June had the war continued. On the division of the class to restore the four year course Even WAS assigned to the part graduating in 1921, so he will have another year of foot bali,
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
Vaughn, Cub Star, Has Been W anderer
 In Baseball Career

Ball players have been known to enjoy long careers on the diamond and still serve on one or two teams
 n all their playing years. Arthur Fletcher. for instance, has been 9 member of only two clubs since he broke into professional baseball the Dallas club of the Texas League, and the Giants. On the other hand, many have drifted from town to to n, from league to league, before settling down. One of these Is Jim Vaughn. Jim played with Temple III the Texas League, Corsicanna in the Southern Texas, Hot Springs in the Arkansas State. New York and Wash
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24

New York. Dec. 24-Justice Vernon NJ Davis, in Part I, Special Term of the Supreme Court yesterday granted the application of the New York America League Baseball club for an open commission to take oral testi- mony from officials of the Cleveland club in relation to the alleged interest of President Ban Johnson in the club.
 The order directs a commission, which will be appointed by the court, to go to Cleveland and examine Presi- dent James c. Dunn, Secretary E. s. Barnard, and Business Manager Wal ter McNichoIs, and also to examine the minute book, stock book, and other records of the club.
 Attorneys for the New York club brought this action as a step toward the trial of the Carl Mays case which may come up some time in January. One of the affidavits in the case al- leges that MT. Johnson, in his affidavit in the Mays case endeavOred to make it appear th2t he held $5S.GQO of par value of the Cleveland club stocks solely as collateral for q loan, whereas
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-12-24
British Golfers To
 Invade This Country
 Tn Orce Next Yeal

New York, Dec. 24-The expected invasion of the United States by British golfers next summer may cause the United States Golf Assoc1a- tiOn to move the national open cham pionship further down on the calendar than the position occupied last spring. The association holds its annual meeting here on January 9 to select the courses and dates for the golf fixtures.
 Local golfers interested in reports that Harry Vardon, J. H. Taylor, Abe Mitchell, James Braid and other British experts would come to Amer ica said today that the national open championship might be held in the fall in order to allow the Britishers a chance to participate.
 Walter Hagen, Tom McNamara and other Americans plan to invade Eng land next April and try for British honors and the reciprocal visits are looked upon with high favor by golf ing enthusiasts here.