davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
cH|cAG()'S RACE
VAR is WANING
Governor LowGen Believes
Crisis Is Passed In
Chicago
KILLED
Troops in The City Are Increased
But They Have Not Been Called
Out by the Authorities.

Chicago, July 81. Comparative CAIN
marked the situation yesterday in The
Chicago race war. No serious out
breaks had been reported, the spora-
die fights were few and mostly be-
tween individuals and in only cne
instance were policJ compelled 70
shoot. IN that case a negro was Kill
ed while resisting search by two %
icemen.
i white woman shot negro in'
the side on South Wabash aveaus
Yesterday afternoon. She escaped en-
identified.
Gov. Frank 0. Lowden ard other
State and city officials were plainly
encouraged By the diminishing cid
arces of mcb spirit.
Although practically very militia
man in the State was either in ths
city or enroute here it was indicated
that they probably would not be
called TO active duty III the sire IS.
~ believe that we have passed The
crisis" said Governor Lowden. "Of
course, the troops will remain as long
IS there is possibility of danger,
and their services are at the c>nl-
mand cf the city authorities.
q believe, however. that the Maze,
and Chief of Police are right in re-
framing from asking for soldiers.
Sending the troops into the trouble
districts might arouse some ara
gcnisn1s, ard then when ,-the re q
ments were Withdrawn fresh trouble
might break out.
With the lull in rioting the police
took stock. They checked the cororsr's
official death Est cf 2G and said nat
was complete. They also found tAat
the list of injuries reported to tham
kad increased to 325. One policeman,
John H. Simpson, a negro, was hi!l-
ed and upwards of so were hurt in
the three nights Of fighting.
The official death list Of 2G inci.d-
ed II whites and IA negroes. No ;ro-
men or children were dead but scores
If them have been hurt some in the
actual fighting.
Police yesterday redoub!ed tneir
repressive measures. Commanding Of
ficeYs were given copies of drastic
.aw on gun toting" passed by ihe
,ast Legislature, and told to b-;ng
charges under it wherever possible.
Al! public gatherings in the Souths:ds
negro section were forbidden, the in
hbition extending to a jubilee celehra-
ton Of chapel, whose pastor assured
the police that he intended to counsel
h:s fellow-negroes to be calm.
Few negroes went to work yeStar-
day. The riots and the strcet-csr
strike gave them double excuse tor
remaining home. The most seriously
affected district was the stock yards
where only half the working forces
reported, despite heavy police grG:G:s
along the chief thoroughfares lesi-
ing to the yards. The negroes evident
" kept under cover as almost n2na
appeared on the street, and the rsi!-
roads effected there had been no
noticeable exodus Of blacks from The
city. Reports that the $4,000 South
crn negroes. who came TO Chicago 70
get the high wages had begun 10
drift southwark again were secuted
ny railroad men.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
COUPLE SLEPT On
IN BLAZING BED

Baltimore, July 31-A striking
testimonial to the heat was paid
yesterday when Mr.. and Mrs. Allen
Mullen slept on bed in flames
and never knew that ii was on fire
until they were aroused by Patrol
man Gustav c. Lample, of the North
EN- police district.
Lample was passing the house
when he saw smoke coming frcnl
the window. He reported that he
went into the house and found the
bed on fire.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

SANITARY FISH MARKET will
have on sale tomorrow and bal
ance of week; rock fish, large and
medium trout. salt water croak-
ers, butter fish. crab meat, clans,
and a few select melons on ice.
Stall No. 2, City Market. Phone
7S5. Open till 5 p. m. 1S0-2p
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
KILLS GIRL WIFE AND SELF

Pontiac, Mich, July 3l.--Gaorge
Near, % Yeas oZ!, Of London. OHt..
shot and killed his wife. Mabel, 10.
years old, on the Pontiac State
Hospital grounds, and then killed
himself. because she refused his
Dicadings that she 90 back to Cam
ada with him.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
OFFICIAL VISIT
Guy Hcrner, Grand Master, "ill
Visit Potomac Lodge Tonight

Guy Homer, grand master Of
Odd Fellows in Virginia, tonight vii!
pay an official visit 70 Potomac
Lodge No. 3S, this city. Mr.. Horner
vii go from this city to. Martins
burg, West Virginia. thence to
Winchester and in the latter city on
Saturday will attend the big picnic
given by the Odd Fellows.
Mr.. Homer will be accompanied
on MS trip by W. Clifton Cunning
ham this city. district deputy grand
master.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
NOTICE

Al! Odd Fellows arc requested to
.send a special meeting Of Potomac
! cdp No. 3S, l. 0. 0. f., on Thurs
zay evening at s o'clock to receive
guv T. Homer, Grand Master of
Virginia.
i30-2c. BY order of the Lodge.
Edgar Carpenter, Noble Grand.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

The regular meeting Of Mt. Ver-
non Chapter No. IA, will be held in
Masonic Temple Friday evening,
August /, at 7::3O for work in ?. A.
Degree. Refreshments.
By order of High Priest
1920. F. ". Latham, Secretary.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
MASONIC NOTICE

There will be called communica-
.fcn cf Andrew Jackson Lodge No.
100 4. 2. ;.nd A. H., at the Masonic
rcrDIo Thursday evening July 81 a.
: % o'clock to confer the T. c. and VI
:,srrees. All Master Masons are in
,.i-ad. By. order, of the Worshipf'.i
master.
]. E. ALEXANDER,
>eG.2c Secretary.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

POTOMAC FISH COMPAN will
have on sale today and balance OF
week, fresh crabmaat. river melons
and clans and all kinds Of fish.
c. H. ZIMMERMAN, Proprietor.
Phone 1913. 179-4p.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
NOTICE

Summer School vii! open at the
Lee Building, Monday, August 4,
ct a. N.
1S0-3c. ". II. Sweeney. Sapt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

POTOMAC FISH COMPANY will
have on sale tomorrow and bal
ance of week; fresh mackerei,
trout. butter FISH, catfish, white
perch. rock, Red Fin crabs. c. Il.
ZIMMERMAN, Phone 1913. 181-1q
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

George Z. Price and J. T. Cook will
have on sale Friday and Saturday
trout, croakers, butterfsh and
halibut. 1Si-2p.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
.I.APPENIHGS ABOUT
CITY TOLD IN BRIEF

Announcement IS made thai 4
summer school will start Monday at
,o School Building.
The Willard W. c. 7. u, will meet
this evening at o'clock at Iii
North Columbus street.
Mr.. Julian Simpson has returned
to his homo in Queen street, after
spending some time at Colonial
Eeach.
Mrs. W. w. Demaine and daugh-
.cr, Miss Elizabeth Demaine. left
today for q visit to Columbia, S. c.,
and Jacksonville, Fla.
1t is expected that large delega-
ION of pythians tonight viii go to
Fterndon, Va. 10 pay visit to the
2ythian Lodge of the Knights OF
gythias 1T that place.
The community sing given last
hight IN Christ Church yard was
.argely attended. A band Of eighteen
ieccs frcm Camp Humphreys fur
1ished music.
Funeral services for Matthew Will
ans were held this morning at st.
Nays Catholic Church and conduct
/ by Pew. l.. F. Kelly, assistant
Iastor. ard 0uriE was in st. Mary's
.emctery.
According to the monthly report
: nr. L. Z. Foulks. health officer
COR the city, during the month from
,ly to July 81, inclusive, there
ere thirty-nine births and fifteen
t.aths in the city.
Dorothy Virginia Whlpp, twelve ,
ans cid. died yesterday at the
me Of her mother. 1l3 Prince
rect. Her funeral will take place
4 o'clock tomorrow afternoon
I'd services viii be conducted by
II. Edgar Carpenter, rector OF
race p. Z. Church.
Little Miss Ruth B;bb, of Manas-
:, who has been visiting at the
nc Of 2lr. and Mrs. Norman Ev-
is, at Braddock, for the past eight
ecks, returned to her home on
lasday, accompanied by Mrs. Mary
Bonncr and little Miss Oracle Bell
Il Master Billie Harcok, Of Brad
'5ck.
The funeral of Mrs. Sadie \. Park
viii take place at 8 o'clock this af-
moon from the residence CT her
sror. Mrs. Bernard Barnett, 2l4
-orth Alfred street. Services will
\, conducted by Rev. Dr.. L. V.
psgostcr. pastor Of the VI. Z. Church
outh, ard burial viii be in Union
amctery.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
STANDARD GASOLINE 25c

Open evenings and Sundays, Alex
andria Auto Supply lC4 South
Washington street. 14g-ft
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
Spend the Week End at
OR COLONIAL BEACn
Steamer z. Madison Hail

Steamer e NaulSNn HalI
Leaves Roberts Wharf
Every Saturday p. M.
Returning Leave Colonial Beach
Sunday ) u. m. Round Trip 81 IS
Hall Steamboat Co.
r. H. Hancck, agent
lSl-2p.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31
Announcement IS made thai 4
summcr school will start Monday at
.,c SchCol Building.

The Willard ". c. I. u, will meet
this evening at 5 o'clock at Iii
North Columbus street.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

Mr.. Julian Simpson has returned
to his homo il Queen street. after
spending some time at Colonial
Beach.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

MIS-. W. w. Demaine and d&ugh-
~. Miss Elizabeth Demaine. left
today for visit to Columbia, s. c.,
and Jacksonville, Fla.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

1t is expected that large delega-
ion of pythians tonight viii go to
Eterndon, Va. 10 pay a visit to the
; 2ythian Lodge Of the Knights OF
! ythias 1T that place.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

According to the monthly report
= nr. L. Z. Foulks, health officer
for The city, durilng the month from
lily i to July 81, inclusive, there
ere thirty-nine births and fifteen
i .aths in the city.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

The community sing given last
light in Christ Church yard was
:argely attended. A band Of eighteen
icccs from Camp Humphreys fur
-ishci music.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1919-07-31

Funeral services for Matthew Will
ans were held this morning at st.
Nays Catholic Church and conduct
Il by Pew. l.. F. Kelly, assistant
Iastor ard DuriE was in st. Mary's
cemetery.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
SAVED TWO FAMOUS PICTURES
Old Masters Taken by British Officer
From the Ruins of Ypres
Cathedral.


The king of the Belgians will shortly
have returned to him two famous PIC
lures which were rescued, four years
ago, from Ypres cathedral 1t APP
pears that during the bombardment of
Ypres in 1915 young British artil-
lery officer noticed inside the cathe-
dral, which was being heavily shelled,
that the only things not shattered by
German fire were two large Flemish
masters, dated 1900, hanging some 20
feet high on the walls. How to get
them and save them for Belgium was
the question which Immediately pre-
scented itself. The officer called two
private soldiers to help him, and with
the aid of some long gas pipes which
had been blown down by the German
fire, and two large hooks, the pictures
were lowered to the ground. The of
ficer, Lieutenant Daniels, r. A., then
cut the pictures out of their frames
and put them in large sack, which he
used for a time as bed. In the end
he took them to London, where, with
the approval of the Belgian minister,
they have been placed on exhibition
prior to being returned to King Albert
at Brussels.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
DADDY,) EVENING
E]FAIRY 1ALF e
AFRICAN PoRcUPINE.
5YnARY 6AIlAn BONNER
- AZ n. AIrrANR

when I lived in Canada" said the
Canadian porcupine, 81 was perfectly
happy. Of course if am helping the
zoo along and being of great interest,
| do not mind, but I do not care for
zoo life as I do for a life of freedom.
"Ah, what wanderings through the
woods used to have" the Canadian
porcupine continued. 81 used to go
miles and miles along through dark
low fir tree forests. I used to live
SO happily in the woods where people
so seldom came.
"And in the springtime when fishing
parties would camp in the woods, if
a dog bothered me would soon punish
him.
1T is not true that 1 throw my
quilts, but if a dog barked at me and
tried to fight me well, he got punish
ed and you know howl
81 don't like these untrue stories
to get around that throw my quilts
as the wind throws leaves around. I
don't do that, but / can give away
some of my quilts if I am frightened
or annoyed. That is perfectly true.
'In Canada, where there is beauti-
full country and where the forests are
very wonderful I think a porcupine
leads a very happy life. Such free,
wild life, no bothersome society around
one all the time.
Here in the zoo folks come and talk
and the animals chatter and make such
a fuss. l like life which isn't So
ciable, a wooded life, and I'm not go
ing to pretend like what don't"
Now the Canadian porcupine said
all this to no one in particular, but
the speech was heard, just the same,
by a good many of the animals, some
of the visitors, boys and girls and by
the keeper.
'That is perfectly true" said the
keeper, and he told those who hadn't
been able to understand, just what it
was the porcupine had said.
''But I think the African porcupine
is going to- say something, too," said
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08

the keeper. "He will have differ
ent story to tell. We must hear his
story, too"
So everyone listened to the story the
African porcupine had to tell; it was
a little story of his own ideas and so
forth.
''That Canadian porcupine," said the
African porcupine to himself, sis very
fussy.
HE doesn't care for the zoo. He
says it is so very fine where he comes
from up in Canada that he is very
homesick. Now, am not so fussy.
MY home is in Africa, as anyone
might guess or know or imagine be-
cause my name tells a good deal. At
least it tells two important things.
"The first one is that it tells that
come from Africa or that am AT
rican, which is the same thing, and
the second important thing that my
name tells Is that am porcupine.
'They name me well-the African
porcupine. It's a good name, good,
sensible name, and 1t tells folks what
am and how look, and quite lot
about me.
"Now. little girls and little boys are
often so foolishly named. If they were
just called North American tall thin
boy, or South American short fat girl,
it would be so much easier.
"How is one to know anything from
the name of Sally, or Susie, or Kitty, or
Jane, or Donald, or John, or James
and Jack? When one speaks of the
African porcupine one knows what is
being spoken about, but when any,
one speaks of a friend named Jack
/ have no idea!
'They may be speaking of little
thin girl with golden curls and blue
eyes or they may be speaking of a
very tall girl with black hair and
brown eyes. Or they may be speaking
of fat boy with red tie or thin
boy who is very, very tall and who has
freckles.
"Yes, have the right sort Of a
name, have, and I'm not in the least
fussy. / don't mind it here in the
zoo; in fact like it, and don't miss
Africa in the least, not in the least"
But the Canadian porcupine who
heard this said: africa isn't Canada,
though, and do miss Canada and it's
woods"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
saIf.AnnnlInced-

A story told by Bishop Greer Illus
trates the plain nature of the man. On
an occasion when he was to confirm
class a carriage was sent for him in
charge of an English coachman who
had been imported by wealthy Amer
lean. Bishop Greer walked unaccom-
panied and in non-clerical dress from
his front door to the carriage and en-
tered it-but the driver did not move
his horses. After waiting for mo-
ment the bishop asked the man why
he did not drive on.
'T'm, waiting for the lord bishop
of New York, sir" the proper person
replied.
"Well." said the bishop, ''T'm it.
Drive on Christian Register.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
SAFE, GENTLE REMEDY
BRINGS SURE RELIEF

For 200 years GOLD MEDAL Haar-
lem Oil has enabled suffering human
ity to withstand attacks of kidney,
liver, bladder and stomach troubles
and all diseases connected with the
urinary organs, and to build up and
restore to health organs weakened by
disease. These most important organs
must be watched, because they filter
and purify the blood; unless they do
their work you are doomed.
WEAKNESS, sleeplessness, nervous
ness. despondenOy, backache, stomach
trouble, pains in the loins and lower
abdomen, gravel, rheumatism. sciatica
and lumbago all warn you Of trouble
with your kidneys. GOLD MEDAL
Haarlem Oil Capsules are the remedy
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
poinn What You DO Not Like.

It is desirable for young people to
choose the life-work which accords
with their tastes and qualifications,
but never make the mistake of sup
posing that any work will be alto
gether pleasant. There is no occupa-
ton without some drudgery. There
is no success without sacrifice. You
will never do anything of consequence
without doing something you do not
like.-Girl's Companion.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
"WelI Enough"

Unless an individual is placed In
some exceptional environment, he sell
dom works up to anything like his
full capacity. Human beings are nat
urally drawn in the direction of ease.
They do not court effort. A man will
do piece of work just well enough to
''get by with it, but only the excep-
tional man will do piece of work any
better than the minimum of result re-
CURED. Because of this universal hui
man tendency, a man seldom reaches
the higher levels Of efficiency Of which
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
He Knew

"Now, Harold" said the teacher, "if
there were II sheep in a field and six
jumped the fence, how many would
there be left?"
'None," replied Harold.
Nonsense! There would be five"
"No, ma'am, there wouldn't" per-
sisted he. "You may know arithmetic,
but you don't know sheep"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08

you need. Take three or four every day.
lining Of the kidneys and drives out
the poisons. New LIFE and health win
surely follow. When your normal vigor
has been restored continue treatment
for q while. to keep yourself in condi-
ton and prevent a return of the dis.
ease.
Don't wait until you are incapable Of
fighting. Start taking GOLD MEDAL
HARLEM Oil Capsules today. Your
druggist will cheerfully refund your
money if you are not satisfied with
results. But be sure to get the original
imported GOLD MEDAL and accept no
substitutes. In three sizes. Sealed
packages. At all drug stores.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
Fortune Awaits Inventor

"Untearable" linen has long been
the dream of many people, but al
though experiments have often been
made, the way to weave an indestructi-
BILE cloth is still unknown, and no
one has claimed the fortune which 10
awaiting the inventor who solves the
problem.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
Will Go Round the World in Day

latitude of London would require a
speed Of less than 700 miles an hour,
while over the equator the speed would
have to be 1850 miles per hour. An
interesting point in such a one-day
woodworking flight would be that if
the airman flew from east to west and
started at noon, he would travel in day.
light with the sun at the meridian
from start to finish
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
safeguarding a Jewel.

"Could you arrange to have the let
ter carrier call only once week at my
houseY asked Mr.. Crosslots.
whats the idea?" inquired the man
at the post Office window.
''Wy wife's afraid the new cook will
think he's company coming to dinner
and leave before we can explain"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08

statement was made recently to
the effect that in the near future there
will be airplanes capable of travelling
800 miles an hour, possibility that
makes the idea Of crossing the Allan
tic seem almost insignificant. And if
this prophecy is fulfilled we may look
forward to a race among airmen to be
first to circle the earth in a day. To
fly around the globe in day over the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
No PIeasantries Attached.

'"There will Still be use for cork
screws when the nation goes dry.
Corks are found in other bottles be-
sides thouse containing whisky.
Il dare say you are right" said Mr..
Jagsby, gloomily, shut corn puller of
that kind will not be preceded by merry
quips and sparkling repartee, show
ing that joy is about to be unconfned."
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
Not Yet.

"You once said you would share
your last dollar with me-" whined the
son-in-law.
= eyes, but you haven't quite reduced
me to that yet" returned the heart
less father-in-law.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08

he is capable. He never reaches any
thing like his best. He does his work
swell enough and lets it go at that
W. E. Towne.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
No References.

Jones-'Have you references from
your former employer Typist-
"Well, no; I'm unfortunately married
to him."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
SIeep.

''My husband slept all through the
sernon in church yesterday morning"
"That's nothing. My husband even
goes to sleep at moving picture
show"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
Fellow FEELING.

Why is sympathy like blind mans
buff? It is fellow feeling for a
fellow creature.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
Bad Sickness
Caused by
Stomach

If people only realized the health destroy
ing power of an acid-stomach--of the many
kinds of sickness and misery it ce.uses-of
the lives it literally wrecks-they would
guard against it as carefully as they do
against deadly plague. You knew in an
instant the first symptoms OF acid stomach
pains of Indigestion; distressing, painful
bIoat; sour, gassy stomach; belching; 1000
repeating; heartburn. etc. Whenever your
stomach feels this way you should lose no
time in putting it to rights. If you don't.
serious consequences almost sure to fol-
low, such as intestinal fermentation, auto
intoxication, impairment Of the entire ner-
vous system, headache, biliousness, cirrhosis
Of the liver; sometimes even catarrh OF the
stomach and intestinal ulcers and cancer.
If you are not feeling right, see If 1t isn't
acid-stomach that is the cause of your III
health. Take EAToNIC. the wonderful mod
ern stomach remedy. EATONIC Tablets
quickly and surely relieve the pain. bloat.
belching, and heartburn that indicate acid
stomach. Make the stomach strong. clean
and sweet BY keeping the stomach IN
healthy condition so that you can get fui
strength from your food. your general health
steadily improves. Results are marvelously
quick Just try EATONIC and you will be
as enthusiastic as the thousands who have
used it and who say they never dreamed
anything could bring such marvellous reiie[;
So get a big 50-cent box OF EATONlC
from your druggist today. If not sattsfac-
tory return it and he will refund your money.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1919-08-08
June Advice.

Bishop Bristol, in an address in
Chattanooga, was giving advice to pros
pective bridegroonis.
whatever you do" said the bishop.
"don't spoil everything on your we'd
ding day by telling your wife what
fine pies your mother used to make.
Swallow the brides creation, even If
you have to break the crust with a
sledge hammer, assure her it's cult
nary chef d'oeuvre, and then take a
pill on the sly"