South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-06-22
Shopping
By James ]. Montague.

I was suddenly conscious that a
lady was addressing me
Il want TO see some Of your
voiles." she said.
Il am sorry, madam, 7 replied.
but I haven't a wolfe 10 my name
DO you mean 20 tell me-
Then il occurred 20 me that she
had mistaken me for some one else
IF you viii just ask one Of those
gentlemen-' I began.
But she stalked away.
a man easily wearies in a depart
ment store. II is a singular thing.
and one which science has eX-
planned that the same male vho will
stand for four hours in front OF a
bar will find the pregnant hinges of
the knee caving I'm under him after
three minutes of shopping. I de-
cided 10 sit down. and found "A chair.
There was a little dismayed cry
as I sank gratefully into il.
My tulle,' said the cry. NY
tulle,"
l shot back into a standing posi-
ton. which an angry hand pulled
from under me a section of mosquito
bar I had mistaken for a tidy.
There was still no sign Of tho
Head Of the Family. ] was getting
nervous. but long experience has
taught me that hunting is not OF
the slightest use. You must just,
stand i'm one place. and If she is there
she is bound 10 pass YOU sooner or
later.
] looked at my watch and it was
half past two-which making the
regular allowance was just u min
utes before the time 7 might expect
her 70 make the > o'clock appoint
ment. Since the episode Of the tulIe
I could see that I was getting talked
about.
Little groups were whispering
here and there and looking az me.
and 1 observed that was the center
OF a large circle i'm which there were
no men. No man likes TO be the
observed Of all observers when the
observers are shoppers IN a depart
ment store. I %strolled over TO the
window TO look out on the traffic. 7
strOlled a trife too close 90 a stand
that was hung with b-ewitching gar
ments, and upset II. 7 caught IL Just
in I'M 10 avoid a catastrophe. bur
precipitated a disaster. nevertheless.
three gowns sifted gently 20 the
floor, and at least a dozen stock
girls-as I believe they are termed
-leaped forward 10 pick them up.
All Of them regarded me as "a car
regards "a dog. ] glued my face 10
tho nan not Ia~r-- - HL-l- -r-
A soft hand fell on my shoulder.
You're wife" said its owner. as
I started guilty. lis trying on a
dimity. and wants you 10 come ia
and look at it."
/ didn't know what a dimity was.
but I was delighted al the diversion.
Furthermore l had succeeded in my
quest. She must have seen me and
sent for me.
threaded my way in the wake
OF the saleswomau through "a series
OF mahogany Ranked corridors.
ducking carefully 20 avoid ladies'
who swished through there. and az
last, as the lady stepped aside.
walked through a door and beheld IN
what appeared 70 my terrified ewes
10 be a nightie. a perfectly strange
woman.
! stood for a second. t-aus6xed
while she hastily caught up "a pile
OF fluff from the floor and threw II
about her bare shoulders and down
over " extremely long stockings
Then she gave tongue Take
that man out Of here. she shrieked.
The Head OF the Family thinks
that am going 20 keep mother ap-
pointment with her in this same de-
portment store Tuesday week. when
We arc again going 20 meet ln the
city. Bat she is wrong
Copyright. 1870