The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1919-02-03

kooHts 6Hu get nome ana DuIiu lIi1s
hre as quick as you can"
Say. boys, If was on a Jury and
you could prove TO me that father
had stolen loaf of bread to keep his
wife from starving you could keep me
in the room until ants took me out
through the keyhole before I'd stick
him. That may not be law. ! don't
know. but you'll find there is a big
streak OF human nature in Bill.
There isn't a fellow in this crowd
but would be distrusted IL his wife
'llke nc does. II she wokid put fift9en
or twenty beers under her belt, he'd
go whining around a divorce court
/ for divorce right away and say he
couldn't live with her. Why, you
dirty dog. she has to live with you.
heard of fellow whose wife
thought she would show him how he
sounded around the house and give
him dose Of his own medicine. SO
one morning he-came -dawn-and
asked for his breakfast. Why you
old biankety, blank. blank, bald
headed blankety. blankety. blank,
breakfast" He was Mortified, but
every time he tried so say anything
she would bring out a bunch OF lurid
oaths until finally he said, wife II
you'll cut out that cussing, III never
swear again"
| Out in Iowa there were some men
standing along a fence when q bunch
of kids came along. One mar stuck
out his foot and tripped one for fun.
and the youngster got up, about five
years of age. and started such n
string of profanity that 1t would seem
| the demons in hell would close their
ears and cry Enough" The man
staggered back. 1t was his own son.
He turned to the crowd.
Bows" he said, III never knew what
an influence / have been until just
now. II any of you ever hear me cuss
again step up and knock me down.
and when ] come to I'll thank you for
| IT. never knew what was doing 20
my children"
You say. "BilI, I can't quit cuss-
/ ing" You lie. II was mayor OF
this city and had authority to put
men on the corners with double bar
, relied shotguns to shoot every one
who cussed. you'd see how much cuss-
ing There would be. ! suppose II the
Law against stealing was repealed and
placed against GUESSING all OF you
would start to steal
! Just think. when nj last they put
the clods In on your coffin and your
wife and children go home, and try
to earn a living without you and look
at your picture and ali they will re-
mem Der Ia your curses and blow. What
an awful heritage to leave behind.
and yet that's what many a man does.
i Take a young buck that cusses and
he will crush your daughters honor.
like he would AN egg she'll. IL YOU
never become a Christian. men. for
Gods sake stop your cuss.ng.
| You can't go anywhere any more
| In a car, a depot. restaurant, but
you find some hend with his foul
mouthed oaths ready tn spew them
out What an awful place hell will
be when 1t gets all OF that bunch
| down there.
| Like Father, Like Son-
| Here's a fellow who says, "Bill.
don't cuss very much. only when
! get mad" He says, II don't drink
| very much. just "A little, and always
| put sugar and water in my toddy al
| that"
one father said to his son. You've
I been chewing my tobacco" The boy
| denied it. Pretty soon he found some
+, OF his whiskey gone. The boy denied
| that Then he missed some money
| and the boy denied that. Finally the
| father said that his son was no good
| but he would take him to town and
! get him a Job. He goes to a grocery
| store and tells the owner he has JUS
the boy he is looking for.
! steals a little" he saws. hut that viii
| he,p the man out. as he Is that kind
| of a business man.
| The grocer throws him ont The
| father thinks IL ia mighty oueer thai
a fellow Hike thai doesn.f want a boy
| iust IKE him so he takes him across
| the street to get him started In the
lawyer business. but he tells the law.
yer the same thing and saws he has
| the making Of A mighty good law.
yer in him But the LAWYER throws
| them out Of his ONCE and asks him /,
| he doesn't know that as nation We
/ are run hy LAWYERS and gives a Ions
| list OF statistics 10 prove il. and tells
| biu that nobody wants crook
! Take the kid and get out" He cam,
! get in a lodge. and fnds that 81 DEL
| cent OF the members az me Masonic
! 1odre are nrofessed Christians and
J they'll blacklist a mutt like that: 81
! per cent OF the ODD Fellows are pro
| fessing Christians; 81 per cent Of the
Knights OF Pythias and Is Der CEN
OF the woodmen are PROCESSING
| Christians. Fifty-two sirners OF tbs
Declaration of Independence were
Ma.one. the Boston tea party was
an adjourned meeting OF the Masonic
lndrs