The Coconino sun., 1919-12-05

staying at his home that nlght-JuSt before he showed, him to his room he put a huge snapping turtle, a pet of his children, into the bed. Then he bade his guest goodnight.
 In about ten minutes he heard a commotion in the guest room; then the door opened and the St. Paul man came tumbling down the stairs, with the snapping turtle hanging on to his night shirt.
 "What is this that's got hold of mel" the St. Paul man yelled.
 ~That's bed bug, you d-d fool. Have you got lem bigger than that in St. Paul 2" was the triumphant re- tort.
 Don't hunt after trouble, but look for
 success;
 You'll find what you look for; don't
 look for distress;
 If you see but your shadow, remem-
 Der, 1 pray,
 That the sun is still shining, but
 you're in the way.
 "Sir:-An aristocrat of the tall grass, sitting beside me at the table in Phoenix the other night and wear ing the Kohinoor on his left hand, re- marked that he didn't see why any feller had to smoke them abominable cigarettes in dining room and spoil other peoples appetites; and then he took out his false teeth and cleaned them inehis drinking glass.-J. B.
 Here's a business opportunity that some of us ought to grab up: "Wanted rare opportunity for bookkeeper - correspondent who can invest $4,000000 and show himself really qualified. Address N-422"- New Orleans Times-Picayune.
 Cleaned from Topeka, Kans., church calendar: Preaching at D. n.. subject A Voice from He'll Miss Holman will sing"
 Persons in magazine stories are al- ways trying to hiss "How dare you!' and other unhissable phrases.
 If they want good hiss let them hiss "Swiss physicist" The biggest rascal in Flagstaff is l.. F. Wesley, the blacksmith. He forges and steels every day.
 One of the most impecunious men in town is Dr. Hayes Nance, the den- tist. He actually lives from hand to mouth.
 According to the Suns latest cabled advices from its Parisienne fashion correspondent, the ladies soon will wear rings in their ears to attach their hats to, doing away with hatpins.
 It'll get so after awhile that we men will have to wear rings in our noses to hold our pants up.
 A fly has 9,369,999 pores in it's body. If you don't believe it, count 'em.
 Jim Rupe says corn on the ear is worth two on the toe.
 A girl who could spell deuteronomy And had studied domestic economy,
 Came after her mail And right near the jail Sat down to study astronomy. Did you feel foolish when you fell on that icy sidewalk the other day !! We did.
 One of our school teachers recently sent a boy home because he was too odoriferous. His indignant mother sent him back with this note:
 willie is sewed in for the winter Lem him, don't smell him."
 From the Franklin, Pa, News-Her- ald:
 t"Chestnuts wanted-Will give sec ond hand organ and two dollars cash for one bushel (50 pounds) of good chestnuts. Bring the chestnuts and take the $2.00 and the organ. have ten organs to trade for chestnuts. have good old-style square piano, re. eight bushels of chestnuts."
 Hope he won't corner the market we are in need of a few ourselves.
 Judge Fred w. Perkins says the meanest man he ever saw was toe mean to buy a collar button. He hat a mole on the back of his neck and buttoned his collar on that.
 Tom Mccullough gravely listened to the Judges statement, and ther said he knew man who was so mear that he put green spectacles on his horse and then fed him shavings making him believe it was grass.
 Fred Lusk says a landlord he re gently put up with on his travels wa. the meanest he ever saw. Fred com plained to the landlord about dirt,