davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
BROADWAY'S SAD PLIGHT

sandwiches. My only hope is that scientific explorers will mistake me for petrified rock and lay me away under glass in a museum, to live out a quiet life.
 The barroom cat slunk along. de- jected. Hot dogs and cheese and ee
 and crackers had been her daily tfd-
 bits. Only the alley ashcan now re- mained to her. And that meant com petition with the alley cats. The re-
 fined life of barroom cat, removed from competition for existence, had ill-fitted her to struggle with the hardy felines of the common stratum But there were joyous ones too ir that saloon. The lunch counter, pret- gel, for one, had lost its sour dispo. sition in gleeful elation that it nc longer would be cast down upon the tiles by hundred fingers disgustsd with the adamant structure of that maker of arid throats.
 The push-buttons too were happy Their faces had been thumbed lop- sided by the boys in the back room ringing impatiently for the waiter. And the large square mirrors were laughing. ''We'n never again have tc face that bunch of rumsoaked mugs, they chortled. At New Years they won't father us with soapy reindeer Perhaps, oh, joy! they'll send us to a swimming school for girls"
 On the walls the framed brook trout was filming merry jig, 'W lth out booze flasks on the hip, fisher men won't go fishing. That means that my dad and ma and brothers and sisters won't be caught and made tc stay forever on a wall, gazing always on flowing streams and never a. drop in which to swim"
 But the rainbow -hued serpents, the vermillion mastadons, the emerald spiders of the reeling minds visior4 were glum. They were now out oi work and no chance to get job al the ice cream parlors. The swinging door had a lament to tell, the cash machine a cheer to register, the bar tenders apron a moan, the mahogany bar tale. But the tender heart ot the sentimental man who had saunter- ed in could stand no more. And he sauntered out, weeping
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Move To Consolidate
 Albany and Decatur

1CIVE prominent citizens of Albany 4 and an equal number who reside in Decatur have asked The Age-Her- aids cooperation in promoting the consolidation of, these two cities for their mutual benefit.
 Not only The Age-Herald, but a large part of Alabama, would be glad to see this consolidation brought about by legislative enactment. It is evil dent that citizens of both Albany and Decatur, who look to the future, are tired of the jealousies that have re- suited in two cities being kept in con- stant competition with each other when, logically, there should be but one
 It is to be regretted that Albany and Decatur, enjoying superior ad- vantages, have so long pulled against each other. It is sign of better understanding and promise of great CT development that there is wish to get together, to bury the hatchet and weld the two towns into a large and prosperous city. It is a wise move.
 It has been proved time and again that two municipalities in close prox- imity cannot advance without one eventually absorbing the other or else choking out it's industrial and busi- ness life. As the situation now stands, Albany and Decatur can be consolidated to the immense advant- age of both and without disparage- ment to either.
 It appears to an outsider that no plausible reason can be offered in op- position to the plan. The consolidated cities would enjoy a more efficient municipal government, they would fare better at the hands of the federal government and by their united strength would be in a more advan- tageous position to compete with oth- CT flourishing cities of Alabama than they are at present, when they are virtually "house divided"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
TWENTY YEARS AGO
 IN THE AGE-HERALD
Events recorded July 8, 1899.

About 1000 people attended the dollar dinner given by the Young Mems Demo- cratic club last night at Columbus, Ohio. in honor of William Jennings Bryan. Allen W. Thurman was the toastmaster. MT. Bryan spoke on the '+Weakness Of Brutality of Hannaism and Corruption of Crokerism."
 The peace conference at The Hague gives out the text of the proposals for a court of arbitration to maintain peace Each government shall name four mem bers for six years and permanent coun- cil will be charged with establishing an international peace bureau as soon as the present conference adjourns.
 The situation in the Brazos valley dis trict of Texas is improving. The river is rapidly falling, but the banks for hun dreds of miles look as if there had been waterspout- Relief work is still go- ing on.
 At the regular meeting of the Com mercial club yesterday Hon. o. W. Un- derwood discussed the probability of the governments building an armor plate plant in the Birmingham district. A com mittee of 31 members was appointed tc take up the matter.
 Capt. Paul Gillardoni is disposing of his restaurant on Twentieth street, near Morris avenue.
 The Tennessee Coal Iron and Railroad company is making preparations for erecting fifth furnace at Ensley. The old furnace which the company owned a. Cowan, Tenn and the smaller of the two furnaces at Florence. Ala, recently pur- chased by the company, are being moved to Ensley where they will be consolidated into a furnace of about 200 tons capacity per day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

Another strange thing is how poor men try to pretend that they are rich and wealthy men try to pretend that they are poor. | The fellow who voted his ho1Ae town dry and then went to some other town to get stewed is now indignating be- cause we have wartime prohibi-H after the peace treaty has been signed. | Oh, well. Now that the country IS dry a lot of men will stay at home at night and get acquainted with their families.
 1 Funny how girl can't get used to a stepfather the way she can get used | to a husband.
 l A woman can give you because" as
 reason. But man sometimes hasn't even one that good. | The difference between good habits
 and bad habits is that good habits are
 hard to form and easy to break. i There was a time when he called her
 his clinging vine. But now he calls
 her his poison ivy. . 1 A woman gets more excited over see-
 ing a bed bug on the pillow case than
 a man would if he saw snake under ! the bed
 l There comes time in the average mans life when he wishes his whiskers would stop growing and give his hair a | chance.
 i No, Oswald The chemical blondes
 are not the only light-headed girls in the world.
 1 When they are first married she be- lieves that the earth sags down eNery time he takes step. But later on she believes that it would take about four dozen mutts like him to outweigh a feather.
 Ho. hum. It sure does seem like half ] the women are trying to get married
 and the other half are trying to get divorced.
 | Some men would rather put in II months hunting for job than work
 one month.
 Of course it is none of our business
 But our observation has been that the 1 girls must consider it vulgar and in- decent to wear anything under the outer skirt this summer. | Every now and then you meet a man who believes that if he could only bor- row enough money to pay his debts
 he would soon be out of debt. Before you go calling on girl it is a good thing to remember that girl is
 a whole lot sweeter after she has eaten
 . pound or two of candS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Red Cross Workers
 Helped To Win Victory

M VAST army of women were mo- N bilized for work during the war. In report made public at Red Cross headquarters in Washington it is estimated that S,OO0,000 women, an army numerically larger than any en- gagged in the war, except that of Rus sia, volunteered their services in the 13 Red Cross districts of the coun- try. They gave nearly 0,000, ,OO0 hours to serving the nation and pro- duced more than 354,0OO, ,OOO articles valued at approximately $81, ,000, ,O0o.
 A remarkable showing for IS months. These figures offer a strik- ing summary of the work performed by the nations patriotic and self sacrificing women. The story of all they did cannot be told, but they have earned the gratitude of America, as well as the army and the navy.
 Behind the men who wore olive drave and navy blue stood these s. 0o0, 900 women, comprising the great er part of American women who did
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Feudist Battle In
 Breathitt County

E EUDIST warfare used to be con-
 U mon in Breathitt county, Ken lucky, but in recent years outbreaks have been rare.
 Evangelists, laboring as mission aries among the mountaineers, and strong public opinion in sections of the state where law and order pre- vailed, placed Breathitt at last in the civilized class.
 But there has been a recrudescence of the fighting habit and a feudist battle there a few days ago resulted in the killing of two men and the serious wounding of several others.
 A bitter feeling has existed between certain factions, and at a wedding celebration a bloody conflict broke
 out. Further trouble is feared, but a
 sheriff's posse is said to have the sit,,-
 ation in hand.
 Breathitt is one of the larger coun- ties. It is rugged and easily lends it. lsef to the feudist life. The leading
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Will Continue Drive
 For Alabama Memorial

'MOTHILE six counties have gone
 w lover the top" in the Ala bama memorial quotas, intensive work must yet be done before the amount sought is raised.
 The memorial organization must make a new start, with determina- tion that the goal will be reached. Of all the patriotic appeals that have been made in this state, few have been so laudable or so pressing as this for money with which to build a memorial edifice at Montgomery in honor of our valiant soldiers.
 Many liberal contributions have been made, but the masses have shown apathy, and after all it is the small donations of the multitude that will tell. Thorough organization in Jefferson county and thorough organi- zation in the rural districts will be needed. A whirlwind drive this week will complete the campaign.
 Birmingham should not stop until it not only reaches it's goal, but goes far beyond it. Great have been Nthis city's past achievements in patriotic causes. We must not relax our en- thusiasm now. Certain it is that no body of soldiers ever deserved to be so signally honored as those who bore the name of Alabama It is the duty of all our people to contribute to the memorial fund. Let's speed up the campaign and bring it to brilliant close.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
President Wilson To Be
 Heartily Welcomed

1T7 HE President is due to land this
 9 afternoon Preparations have been made for a semi-official recep- tion and tumultuous will be the greet ing.
 Republican politicians have been att tacking the President most viciously. Never has any chief executive been so unjustly assailed as Mir. Wilson, any every one of his opponents in Congress has resorted to a low order of attack. Never were so many small bore men arrayed against a states man of lofty ideals and straightfor- ward policies as we see today. Petty fault-finding and discourtesy have characterized the wasteful debates in- tended as republican capital for the presidential campaign of next year.
 Chairman Graham of the special House committee Investigating war department expenditures was the sensational feature at the capital yesterday. He charged that the Presi- dent organized the council of national defense before the war was declared, in "absolute violation of law" But Graham's charge is making noun tain of molehill, just as have been the other republican "spasms."
 President Wilson was the most pop ular man in the United States when he first went to Europe to take a hand in the proceedings of the peace conference. He comes home even more popular. The more he is as- sailed by his political adversaries, the more he is drawn to the American people.
 He will address Congress Thursday and during the summer will make speeches in many states, explaining and defending the league of nations. How rapidly public opinion will back him up and how rapidly his small bore critics will dwindle and become ridiculous will be to make one laugh.
 The war was titanic. No party have conducted it so ably and no commander-in-c chief could have guidcd the nation more adroitly, as Wood row Wilson. What if the President |did make mistakes? They were small, indeed, compared with the great things he accomplished.
 T'e shouting ard the demonstration over the President today will be won derfully significant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08

From the New York World.
 IA RUCH of the sorrow attending lWll prohibition has been dispell- SVS ed by the sale of 2.75 brew and Tight wines. But there was still considerable lamentation yesterday.
 One who, through sentiment, saun- tered yesterday into his favorite bar room. now closed to the public, in which he was wont to gulp his por- ton of Minnehaha C1aughing water). reported that he came upon the touching scene of a brass rail and bar rag in wai1ing embrace.
 Furrowed with service as the brass rail was. and stopped with age and drudgery as the bar rag was, the two principals of the emotional scene pre- sented a pathetic picture indeed.
 ssFor decade I have upheld my riad dignitaries and have learned their bottommost secrets, for by the holes in their soles I knew many to be four-flushers." moaned the brass ralL Never was I perturbed by the high cost of booze. vermuth, Burgundy, three-star, lager, all were mine in the drippings. And now and then stray frankfurter and a but. To many wabbling hoof have I given stanch support. ?Sackcloth and ashes, sack cloth and ashes!''
 The bar rag limped away grumbling
  "Quit your grouching. am the one to mourn. Each day I have had the grandest souse Fresh from the tap and glass. Many time has a sot bumped elbow into glass and over turned the sparkling fluid, and I have quaffed of the fumes of bacchanalian ectasy."
 Just then from a round table in the back room, a crestfallen Raines Law sandwich wept: "A dozen years I lived a calm, untouched life. Six weeks a day of rest in the cupboard. Only one day a week of work, Sunday, when the bartender carefudlly dusted me off, washed, ironed and polished me and laid me on the table, where I received my weekly airing. The customers ad- mired me- And they were gentlemen for none made advances. The boss in- sured my life, so we'll did he think of me. Now. woful fate, am to travel the garbage can route with common
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
AirpInne Runs Away

People often wonder what would happen if a plane for some reason or another find itself flying without a pilot" said Lieut.. John Bunting. This happens sometimes. Planes sometimes get away while the engines are being raced in tests by mechanics.
 q once saw one get away with ythe mechanic. There were no blocks to hold it and it was not staked down. It moved off with the mechanic and he climbed out for he didn't know how to pilot it and couldn't stop it. It rose about 25 feet, when the tail turned up and it crashed to the earth. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08

citizens are ignorant and fearless and in other days every clansman was ready to shoot at the drop of hat.
 While the manners and morals of the old stock have been greatly hu- manized, a remnant of its original trouble-makers are left to carry on the traditional feuds.
 Public sentiment of Kentucky should assert itself again and all law-abiding people should see to it that lawless- ness in every shape and form is SUD- pressed.
 The Houston Post fears that lynchers in the Jefferson county jail will not be punished. If that prediction comes true, certain assistant attorney general is going to be badly disappointed man. | # # *
 Astronomers report that Jupiter's "red hollow has disappeared Could it be possible that reformers are getting in their work on one of the earth's distant neighbors? | A traveller arrested at the Terminal station with S1 cases of liquor has de- parted still in possession of his property, much to the discontinue of local li- quor sleuths. | One man on board the R-34 found time to shave. Thoughtful fellow. He had an idea the fair sex would be out in force at Mineola- | MT. Willard wishes it understood that he is neither dead nor dying. He nigh. have added, Thanks to my constitu- | tion."
 | Berlin has perked up enough to have the German derby run, which was won, oddly enough, by Gibraltar, with Kaiser up
 , # + A Japanese statesman says China is 8 menace to Japan. Quite so. Even as the lamb lies in wait for the unwary wolf F # F | William Waldorf Astor has reached the parliament as if to the manner born. | * * * 1 A man who killed his sweetheart near Los Angeles may plead insanity. AS a sort or arterthought, no doubt. * !: # '"The allies can have only my dead body" says the former crown prince. speaking in melodramatic vein. < # Ix | The abolition of saloons may help Dempsey to retain his crown longer than he might have done otherwise. | # T < | The allies have decided not to make peace with Bella Kun, thus stamping Bella as very bad egg. 
 l When is 'Eblimp' not .'blimp"? We should say when there is an acute short age of hydrogen. l The R-34 brought over a stowaway That fellow will have something to tell his grandchildren. Hs # # z
 Men who never make wagers on prize fights occasionally gamble in cantaloupes land lose., | # # #
 Facing the high cost of living, the Ital- ians gave way to their grand opera tenn perament. T # *
 Some of MT. Wilson's critics simply can't forgive him for being rhetorical. |
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
UNIVERSITY SALARIES

life appealed to him, in every way, nos was he desirous of great wealth. But he also wanted to marry-and the munificent salary of $1000 a year, with a prospect of some day reaching almost as much as $30o0-by the time he was old and bald and the father of family-didn't fit in with any workable scheme of things. So he went into an insurance company and with. in a very few years became it's boss actuary, at a salary of-well, we'd be afraid to guess how many figures. He has since then "retired' and is doing some kind of scientific work, but the university lost the service of his best years and he always detested the routine of the work that paid him SO well.
 Harvard professor has been quoted to the effect that the teachers do not ask, ol care for any such financial rewards as might come from "big business or the professions They do ask enough to feed, clothe and house themselves and theii families with responsibility. Perhaps as much as a good plumber can earn.
 Another factor is that the Carnegie fund will not continue pensioning retired teach : CTS who may be appointed from now on, and has also raised the retirement age sions, but a fair pay in the present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
THE ONE STEP

From the Dallas News.
 A certain judge could not control his temper, and consequently could not con- trol other people. One day there was un- usual disorder in court, and at last the judge could endure it no longer.
 Tt is impossible to allow this persis- tent contempt of court to go on,'' he said, land I shall be forced to go to the extreme length of taking the one step that will stop it.''
 There was long silence, then one of leading counsel rose, and with just a trace of smile, inquired:
 "If it pleases your honor, from what date will your resignation take effect?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
ROUTED ELSEWHERE.

''Giddersieigh promised to meet Mrs Giddersieigh in heaven when she died ''So I understand
 Judging from the way Giddersieigh ha. been behaving since he became a widow CT, he will never be able to keep thu date"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
GREAT ExPECTATIoNs.

'T cannot marry you,' said the wealthy young woman. "Alas,'' murmured the impecunioui young man. as he mopped few drops O. cold precipitation from his brow.
 T hope my refusal is not great blow to you?"
 'I guess I can stand it, but my hear goes out to my creditors"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
IN RE FIuME, PERHAPS

From the New York Herald
 It is reported that on one occasion the President of the United States stopped Dr. Clemenceau as they were about to enter the council room of the big four at Versailles and asked: What is the French for compromise
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
AuuA1MM1l0anllI
QUO vADIss
From the New York Herald.

From the New YOfk deraIu.
 In his novel Quo Vadis." Henry Sienkiewicz says that St. Peter. the aged apostle, leaning heavily on, his staff, left Rome on the dusty Appian way at the earnest request of his distracted breth- ren. He had suffered everything but death at the hands of the Emperor's hirelings. On his journey the apostle saw a wonderful vision as the sun rose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, at times the foundations seem to melt under me; the people l trusted be- tray me; the things I leaned on break. What shall I dof I will re- member that Thou dost not betray. I will do right and trust Thee to come to me in the dark. Amen H. NJ. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
OUT OF HIS CLASS

"Do you think it is vulgar to be rich7 asked the seeker after useless informa tion-
 'rNo," replied MT. Dubwaite 'But think it is rather inconsiderate for millionaire friend to look bored when descant on the high price of butter"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Instructive Articles

'1 was very interested in the article in Sundays Age-Herald written by Bill
 Sikes, giving an account of Chile in
 Spanish and translation thereof" said E. c. Horton There is a large
 number of people in Birmingham who
 can read Spanish fairly well and there are some who speak it fluehtly. Inter
 est in the study of Spanish is grow
 ing here. The article was interesting and instructive"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
REw-a iBEsAxcE

Theodsre 1dsy gle Hd in the New Witness
 Lnndoaa
 Let not the wcr.a remember you,
 By any greater hing or less. Than hat n10n reed I blew
 A scnS % ptadEe your loveliness! Let n, tbf serld remember me Of ivfs1 .Aat4 should crown A line ye e. when empery In tle as waves of time goes dcwn)i By any sre4far thing or less, Than eale good song made and suns To praise } ear Iowa and loveliness, One sssias wfer the world was young
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Increase in Pay

q am glad that most of the post masters salaries have been increased as result of larger postoffice receipts also that the assistant postmasters and clerks will be advanced substantially in the payrol1s,' said Sidney & Eos ter of Cincinnati, registered at the Hillman.
 q was employed in the postoffice al Chicago during President Cleveland first term and have for many years taken an active interest in the busi. ness of handling the mails.
 Birmingham, I understand, Is now in the $6000 class. That being so the assistant postmaster's salary will bt $3150. The law used to provide tha' the assistant receive just half of the amount of his chiefs salary. But Con gress recently added $150 year."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
STOICAL RESOLVE.

sTOICAL RESOLVE. 'So you persevered in your attempt to have a garden7'
 tYes,'' answered MT. Grumpus. "1 neighbors to start with, and decided that any further unpleasantness that might develop couldn't make a bad sit uation much worse.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1919-07-08
Absent But Accounted For

T received a letter on Monday from Arnold Maseberg, who is at the White House, Biloxi, Miss, on a short vacation. which pleaded me very much said Frank Willis Barnett, flor it shows the right spirit It is just what is needed to put the Memorial building over in Jefferson county. He said:
 Have just arrived here from away down the coast. Just found copy of the Age-Herald dated July 1st ana the article Alabama Memorial Campaign Brisk, prompts me to ask that you have me credited with $1oo my mite to the fund. will give my check on my return nome next week. So noble a memorial, l am certain will be oversubscribed by the red blooded Americans of our beloved state