New-York tribune., 1919-04-20
A Study of My Shropshire Buck

I gathered from them What he really said
was: "Wel, Msier Juge, dat buck she was
be pretty kan hearted. P'raps some tam
wen she ant feel SO good she lif hers
feets so high lax horses 'en she ben hees
head down lax mad bull wen she hollers
'boo-raughn and hook mans, ony dat buck
she was ben hees head down widout mex
it no noise
Gwen you dat you let out gran holler
lax hell and dat dam buck she ant strack
you. Nozzer, she ant do dat ting"
From his dialect you undoubtedly may
recognize his nationality
later learned that this light hearted
Canuck at gathering Of his compatriots
gave the following explanation Of the deal:
oval Sch boy, you was knew dat buck
ah'l was buy of Osias Chaiselonge Dat
dam buck she knock me more as twan-
ny-fav feet wan tam Ah1l was carry heem
bucket of water dat splotter me las dead
muskrat. Wal sch, ma broder- law she
was gat dronk fan tam EN- dat old pVice-
mans was rest heem en- dat dam hol Juge
Shute he'll was fine heem five dollaire en-
wch was be five dollaire en- soixante
cent auss
oval, dat tam an was knock twanny-fav
feete, Ah'll said Ah'l was want sell dat
buck for ten cent, en- ma broder-n-law
she'll said you tex dat sheeps to dat dam
hol juge that was I'm me fav dollar en- cos
for got dronk Mebbe dat Sleeps was knock
heem more as feefty feet and broke hees
dam neck. Den Ahll was geeve you few
dollaire eef she knock hem feefty feets.
He'll was buy dat buck sheep for fifteen dol
laire wich was more as you all can get from
oder mans. SO you'll was mex money bose,
Of dem way, heinz"
For several days when 7 entered the pen
that contained my favorite eve, Betty, and
the buck. kept my eye peeled for trouble,
but he was a turtle dove. He ate, drank.
and allowed me TO rub his iron frontlet.
Only onco when I averted my masterful
gaze did |, on looking at him again, notice
d surprising change in the yellow serenity
of his regard. For moment he stamped
his front foot
$50 high lax horses
EN- ben she head down lax mad bull"
hut, prohung by my Instruction.
''let out gran holler lax hell"
whcrcupon he raised his head. the steoly
CLINT faded from his yellow eyes, and he
quietly began feeding.
1t WAS not long after that. having fed
thcm dropped my glove and stopping
down TO recover It, straightcNcd up just
in time to see white thundorholt in tho
air, driving straight at my midriN In
stinctivcly let out most terrific yell.
wished efterward that had not, for in
emitting so terrific war whoop let out
wind enough to play n complete sonata on
the bass tuba. andante, allegro, maestoso
and presto, and when that iron frontlet
struck nc, there being no air cushion to
act as shock absorber, my lungs, liver. lights
and diaphragm were fattened out like an
inner tube that had never been inflated,
while my head struck the side of the build
ing with a bang that could have been heard
for half mile.
AS l lay flat the Uttered floor OF
the PEN ! thought | never could draw
full breath again, and really didn't care par
ticularly if | couldn't, and after got nv
bellows working smoothly, MY head hummed
like swarm of angry hornets.
was occupied so long in arranging for
the resumption of the business Of nv lungs
that did not fully appreciate the gorgeous
considerations that flashed across my orbit
Bielas comet having been lost for many
years, owing probably to the culpable care
lessncss of Bieia suddenly reappeared
more brilliant than ever. Mercury. Venus.
Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus came rushing