The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1919-07-05

once IN Wnlle LnSy run up dSdlHSLI
something that makes them feel
cheap.
"Using rubber bands for muscles, a |
New York man has invented a doll
that walks realistically" says an ex-I
change We wonder if it is rubber
necked, too.
"Why are you so in love with your
home, my good friend?" said one
Yankee to another, yesterday.
ooh, just because it is the one
place on earth / can talk back when
I'm criticised"
A certain newspaper says there are
100000 no account dogs in the
United States. Uncle Billy says there
seemed to be that many barking inl
our neighborhood last night.
Luke McLuke says that "when al
man gets the idea that his wife is
growing old faster than he is, some
divorce lawyer is going to get piece
Of change"
A pessimist, says an exchange, is a
cuss who can look at a dimple on a
pretty girls cheek and foresee the
day when the dimple will be nothing
but a wrinkle.
A white collar is not going to stay
white if you wear it two weeks in the
summer without changing it. But
some men seem to be color blind.
Don't all blush at once.
Of course, it is none of our bust
ness, but if we were skinny from our
tootsie wootsies up, as some girls are,
we would let the icecream cone-feds
do the demonstrating from the diving
tower.
The Los Angeles Times says: "The
masters of dancing are Mortified at
their own handiwork. When they
look at the 'shimmy,' the good-nightle
and other footsome frolics, they are
inclined to go behind their palms in
the conservatory and have a quiet
blush. At their recent convention in
Atlantic City, all but the staple,
standard dances were denounced, even
the fox trot is banned, and song
writers are urged for the love of Mike
to be decent"
Such a rain of tears on July 1st and
now the slums are but a memory; jails
will be used for corncribs, men will
walk upright, women will smile again,
children will laugh and hell will be
for rent. "But what S going to become
of the ministers?" asked dear Uncle
Billy.
! eco to plowing," said the saucy one.
Barney Oldfeld, former dirt track
champion driver of automobiles, has
nothing on the way some of the fell
lows around Ocala drive their cars.
/ Truly virtuous people are never
quick to start the ball of suspicion
a rolling about others.
The Times-Union philosopher says:
"1dleness is the father of gossip, and
may, how old man idleness does insist
on keeping his son going" Thanks,
Mr.. Sunshine; we are glad to learn
that gossip is masculine. We had
heard that it was daughter.
Il $50
Speaking of fools, brethren" says
the Madisonian, ga gentleman of this
city says that when he sees a gentle
man coming In: an automobile (and
he can always tell them afar Off he
gives him half of the road; when he
sees fool coming, he gives him all
of it, and when he sees darn fool
coming he takes to the woods" When
we see some women driving car, we
climb the nearest telephone pole.
|
It's all right to hitch your literary
wagon to a star, so long as it is the
Evening Star.
A lesson that it would be we'll fol-
all to regard is given in Hawthorne
story, "Rappachial's Daughter" He
describes a chemist, who in the study
of poisons has a garden full of love
ly but poisonous flowers, to whose
perfume, in fiendist experiment, he
exposed his beautiful daughter. The
girl became so filled with the poison
that her own breath was deadly tc
any living thing. This a true picture
of those persons who yield to the lure
of the world and to the evil influence
around about them. They are pois.
oned by it and become poisonous in
turn.
Tommy" said Miss Clark, "com-
pare the adjective Sick"
"Yessum; sick, sicker, Dead" re-
piled the little sinner with a grin.
. "No, Johnnie, figures don't lie"
"No, Uncle Billy. of course they
don't, over at Silver Springs, 'ceptin
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