The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-08-17

StSnAluTG up TOP,
and glance caught the words, I hit
my COW right amidships.' he continued in
weak tones. Rose right over her back
and landed easy. But Jones bounced Oft
the first cow-guess he was nervous
and hit another one. She -"
Just then a baggage transfer tiend
saluted the snowy haired little old lady.
and her copy of Golfers went shut, and
| had to wait until we had pulled in at
the Back Bay station for copy of my
own. There, in a place where 1 intend
some day to erect a bronze tablet in
scribed, ION or near this spot R. L. II
first threw fits over G. F., Sept 20, 1913
| devoured the entire gorgeous narrative,
which begins:
II have never ridden a motorcycle
myself except partially on one occasion,
but I haven't a thing against the con-
rrivance. In fact, vast and exciting ex
perience in motorcycle riding-acquire1
VIGOROUSLY at no expenditure of money
or epidermis 1t has been furnished me,
gratis, by my good friend Allie Ferris,
who cycled Economically all last sum-
mer and passed the thrills on TO me with
out charge.
Il first suspected Allie had been con
sorting with a motorcycle when he came
into my office one day last July in u
state of extreme dsrepar. Even thea
I was in doubt. 1t might have been an
automobile. The effects on the pedestrian
are much the same.
Where did it hit your I asked, sym
pathetically.
Didn't hit me at ALL said Allie. L
rode it,
Motorcycle I asked.
Guessed right, first time said Allie,
lowering himself into a chair with sew
eral loud Wells of anguish.
How did it happen?' ! asked in
amazement. for Ferris was at that tims
a sober-minded and reliable citizen
1T was a COW, said Allie, working
his shoulder into more comfortable
position.
CONCERNING COWS
Here I pause to remark that any man
who doesn't buy his wife a complete set
of George Fitch would beat her if he
had the courage For the immortal
George continues:
If there's anything in the world that
is a supreme and unqualified nuisance.
it's a cow said Allie, Indignantly. A
pig is small enough to dodge, but you've
got to serve a ten days notice on the
ordinary woppy-brained COW to get her
out of the way"
Here we approach the point where the
snowy haired little old lady let out that
wondrous whoop. Says Fitch
Hit oner shrieked Allie, rolling over
and over in his chair. Hit onel III
bet that COW is rubbing herself yet.
We each hit one There were plenty to
pick from, too. We were going down q
good road about thousand miles an
hour when those cows came into view
and says to Mones, Darn those cows
and he says to me, Darn those cows
and then we were right on them and
there was nothing else to do, so we
each picked fat. soft one, and oh my!"
This is where the snowy haired little
cid lady emitted that never-to- be- for
gotten whoP.
II hit my CIV right amidships," he
continued in weak tones. Rose right
over her back and landed easy. But
Jones bounced off the first cow-guess
he was nervous-and hit another one.
She went up on her fore-feet and came
down with one leg through the front
Wheel of Jones's machine. That scared
her some more, and she ran away. After
/ die I'm going to wake up some time
to laugh at that poor cow, galloping
off with that motorcycle dangling from
her hind legs, still running like mad
and popping like a gattling gun. while
Jones, chasing her. yelled, Here, you,
bring that machine back" just as if
she was doing it on purpose. Oh h,
dear
Do you wonder that from that hour
forward tooE pride in numbering my
self among Fitch fans?
Fitch on Hate:--"After a good jour
neyman hater has spent few years on
the job he gets so much acid into his
thoughts that it eats large holes in his