The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-11-06
n, 4. ~ 81, sfFs'
auNDEA NJ.

III - As sSGS. ASsNSSy d Anu BelkSl&S
Y skSS& men come ~
fpfe sypp oday l1ot
TO tell ron
know, but some III
81 AZ = B The AmeriEAn
|lsaRlE =; y yefy 1lx6Gr bisd. Ae
EapFead$ one WinS maj stically over
4 the A11aAt3c Ocean, the other. WinH
ovef the Pacific mot The MI Pa
Icikc) aud lint that amt what | was
lgoim, 20 tell yol, am only tryin'g to
Sttfact your attention. Ny only rea-
Ison>for appearin' IN print this week 3
this our city editor is sufferins with
1.-THE gout, superinduced possibly fy
the reduced cost of Twin. And Our
leditor.in-chief has been stuffin' his
|pale skin with roast duck (said duck
presented to him BY friend) until
The is unfit for duty. The devil struck
ffor more pay and les work and 10 /
Threw myself into the. breach III Or
weekly copy of the great dispenser
of important news. Otherwise 4
could not have overcome my innate
modesty "a, the extent Of hayin' the
leffrontery Of appearin' before you 8
times (count 'em) 3 times in sue
cession. Hopin' this explanation
will convince you that we shall per
init nothing to prevent the aforesaid
dispenser of public opinion from
reachin' you on. time we will now
proceed with the show. / thank
you. Let's go. .,
My article on the malady "patinea"
in last weeks issue seems to have
been quite generally read from the
comment and criticism it engendered.
One party asked me why said that
ladies were immune and that only
men were afflicted. .'Well,' says ],
you remember that said that
'patina' made its appearance on the
coats and pants only, and" says l,
women don't wear coats" "Quite
right" says he, but they wear-er -
uhm-I thank you. Good day"
Asked how I-observed Lent, re-
piled, by always askin' the other fell
low for loan first"
At 30 a man suspects himself
fool, knows it at IS and at 40 gets
married and then everybody else
knows it, too. What?
Of all glad words
l. OF tongue or pen
The glaaddest were these:
Here's how-say when
"A fathers duty to his daughter
does not begin when she is H." l
read this in paper and l fully agree
with the writer. If the mother has
safeguarded the daughter thus far,
she is competent to take her all the
way. The fathers duty is to dis
courage with a club) the spindle
shanked. cigarette smokin imitation
of an A-harrQw who tries to enticc
the daughter away from home.
1t want because Eve ate the ap-
pie that she and Adam were driven
out in the cold. @ dear no. 1t was
because she violated ! law which
said Thou shalt not" Even at the
present time people who violate this
law get in trouble-sometiines. (P.
S. But not often.) ;ss
It's impossible to make some folks
see the. sunny side of life. I met a |
fellow ON the street t'other day who |
was lookin' plumb discouraged III
was feelin' just the opposite The
price of meat has taken tumble and
So. l slapped him on the back and
yelled, Cheer up, old gobbler, meat
is so cheap that we can all afford to
eat it again" Did he smile? He,
did not. Instead he said to me, yes,
and now that meat is gettin' cheap,
Detcha toothpicks will go outs
sight in price, Can you beat it.
DO you wonder that | sometimes
feel that it amt worth while tryin' to
help folks see the dawn of a bright
er day? Do you? |
Hoover sees cheaper food'--Head-
line. Yes. and l read lines like these
once, "the truth itself is not believed
from one who often has deceived"
Hoover amt foolin' me. none.
sAll beautiful women have good
digestion" ADV. All the comment
| shall make is this. 1t may be nee
essaEy to have good digestion iu
order to be- good lockin' but fel-t
low don't have to be handsome in
order to be the owner Of q good APP
petite. Ii you don't agree with me.
just ask me out to dine with you
That's all. Just try it once. j
: Stockings at $Iooo0:-He adline.
At. first glance this seems awful, but
II you stop and consider the higher
the stockin' the shorter the skirt, It'll
lust about evens things up, now don't
Il? - II
A baldheaded snipe Of. perdition
asleed me how big is the desert OIL
Sahsra. Alter he, hid regained his
Ienses told him the Sahara Desertl
MAS about the 2xe Of Bates County.