The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1919-10-27
CHANGE IN TIME
AND 1878 BREW
FAIL TO BLEND
Five Strokes of | Too Many
for Mans Nerves Which
Were Already Strained to
Near Breaking Point.
BY noe ~HILDEBRkNo,

The ticking Of the mantelplece clock
was ~steady-tick. tock-rythmic-tick,
tock-even II the footsteps Of the
clocks owner were not, as he wendell
his tortuous way into his room Satur-
day night an hour before midnight.
II had been an occasion with "the
boys'-when the last three bottles in
the last case had been opened to cele-
bratc a birthday, He had good reason
TO be home so early-the last drop in
the last bottle in the last case had
been drained full 30 minutes before,
As he stumbled into his room, tread
ing as he thought softly, friend wife,
from the adjoining room chuckled at the
headache she knew would be his In the
morning. A headache, thought she,
which would prove a better lesson than
any adverse criticism she might pile
on his throbbing Uranium,
With the abandon OF near midnight
and ans full, he tossed clothes hither,
thither and yon. Then he tumbled into
bed, a-well, q prohibitionist might
have termed him a sodden slumberer
But he slept the sleep Of the just
enough!
Silence settled over the room, broken
only by his heavy breathing. And the
clock licked on and on. Suddenly
1t was the musical chime Of the clock
bell, striking the half hour after mid
night,
The sleeper stirred, then awakened,
"Durn," he murmured. zone O'clock"
And he dropped back to sleep.
Ting again chimed the musical
bell, after a 30-minute interval,
Again the sleeper stirred and half
II must have dreamed that cock
eyed clock struck m BEFORE the
slumberer murmured, and again was
fast asleep.
Again a 30-mlnute interval, and
Ting"
The man sat up. sharply. wide awake.
Ding bust my time, either I'm
crazy, or tina clock is" he said aloud,
addressing the blank darkness Of his
room. That's the third time that clock
has struck one, or I'm n heifer,"
After 4 brief interval he gave up the
puzzle as too deep for his fuddled
brain, and dropped off to sleep. AS
he did so, his door opened softly and
his wife stepped in.
She fumbled in the darkness, across
to the clock, and set back the time
an hour. as per instructions from con.
gress, and thesfinis of daylight saving
for 1919, Then she stole softly out.
"Ting,"
Again the lnsistent clock spoke. II
anything. the ring vas louder than us
ual, as though the timepiece were in
dignant at being set back to 12:29, when
1t already had progressed to 1880.
AS the musical chime smote his ear,
the man cursed, softly and fervently, as
with his whole soul. Again he sat up,
bod, reaching for something beneath.
He evidently got II, for he uttered ~
sign of satisfaction, muttered D.
that clock" and again fell asleep.
As he slept, the clock licked on, never
ceasing In It's rhythmic pendulum swing,
and It's monotonous, perpetual tick,
took"
The minutes passed. Suddenly from
the gloom surrounding the mantel-
Ting"
The sleeper jumped clear OF the bed
With a dexterity born as of long
practice, he swung his right hand back
to the limit. Then, with q sharp, swift
| and $40 worth of a $50 pair of shoes
went hurting through the intervening
| space, slap-bang against the face Of
the offending time piece.
The tinkle OF breaking glass brought
the wife on the run, startled. She
switched on the light,
John, John, John" she exclaimed
tearfully, why oh why, don't you
quit drinking that terrible whisky? Look
how you've gone and smashed our new
clock, and cut your new shoe in the
Don't give a durn" snarled the In
| ebriated one as he clambered back into
bed,
Then, q beatlfic smile crossing his
features, he murmured, in a voice OF
| perfect satisfaction,
Cant no damned clock get fresh
with me an strike one o'clock five
times In a night"
And he turned over TO sleep it off.