El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1919-12-19
Cynical Rat, Yet Wise In Bewhiskered
Grape Juice Philosophy AssaiLs Poet
In The Quiet OfAn Editorial Sanctuna

nUE perhaps to the fact that I am
u somewhat Of a nut the office rat
approached me last night as I was
trying to think up something to say
on my typewriter. For several even
ings had noticed that exactly at g
o'clock the office rat ran down the
lead casing in the editorial room that
feeds gas to the city editors light
This rat is respected by everybody
and mPlested by nobody.
From the first time the rat saw
me he took a fancy to me, but he
wasn't what one would cal a brazen
sort Of rodent. For weeks he played
around. getting nearer and nearer
until last night he walked deliber-
ately, but modestly, over to where /
sat and rose up on his launches He
did not interrupt my thoughts but
waited decorOusly until / was ready
TO recognize him.
At last / looked up, interrogatively.
Pardon me" said the rat, by way
OF preamble and introduction. i am
Col Nawer. Like the old time Eng
Hshmen 1 am named after what
do mostly and best Your name is-2''
Frank Confession
7 am the poet 1 replied IN my
case I am named after what I am not
mostly And j am glad to know you.
Col Nawer. What may I do for you %
Ignoring, apparently, my query the
rat asked;
"Tou write editorials, do you not?'
some Of them" was my reply
We'll, you're the party I want 10
talk to then, II you VIII give me a
few minutes"
Now" the rat went on. Il am Just
= 90 1rrnn-- IN
furniture, suck eggs, steal chickens
and raise general havoc with the or
DERBY arrangement OF what you arc
pleased to term your possessions. But
even II I am what I am reputed TO
be I have done no small amount Of
thinking and I have been over consid-
cradle OF the earth's surface II you
are not in a position 10 set forth some
Of my conclusions In an editorial ]
would at least like 10 have you heat
me In patience and make such q state
ment OF my attitude as you are able.
After I had assured myself that no
ventriloquist was present you. may
Imagine that I was interested. in fact
] might say astounded al hearing this
creature utter words despite the yarns
Of AesOp and the story OF BALKAN s
ass. But overcoming my establishment
I bade the little quadruped proceed.
This he did much after the following
manner:
Denounces Mankind.
Il am a rat. You are man. wall,
on my hands and my feet You walk
on your feet only Nv ancestors tell
me Of a time when your kind also
walked on all fours. Now you look
down on me and revile me. You call
me predatory pest-a .varmint' Why
do you do this2
I'll tell you why men refer 20 me
and other animals as predatory pests.
You can't use US You have grown
powerful in the world and as a re-
suit Of your success and your tri-
umph over the remainder of creation
you have become conceited and homo
centric
you have, for instance, decld-
ed that God Is made in your
image. Now we rats have q God
He g. the spirit TINT puts grain
and nuts and birds where we can
get them But we know mat
God is made in our Image.
Moreover. you men have decided
that you have souls and that the
lower animals have not Our anat-
0uiies are similar. We are conscious
We reason. mediate, make decisions
make resolutions the same as you
And perhaps the same power created
us chat created you, yet you don't