The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1919-11-13
HUMOROUS

- =
+ HUMOROUS =
+ "a little nonsense now and then, +
+ Is relished by the wisest men," +
= Anonymous. =
++4+ ! + \ \ = + + + +
Proper Help.
Wife-John, there's burglar at the
silver and another in the pantry eat
ing my pies. Get UP and call for help.
Hub Cat window Police! Doctor!
An Improvement.
Doctor--You cough with much
greater ease this morning.
PATIENT ought to; I have been
practicing all night.
Reasoning for Kittens.
Little Edwards twin sisters were
being christened. All went well until
Edward saw the water in the font.
Then he anxiously turned to his moth
er and exclaimed: "Ma, which one are
you going to keen?"
An Important Point.
"Your wife has imaginary all
ments."
"Um."
"1'll just give her some imaginary
medicine"
"Um. What kind Of bill are you go
ing to render in this case, Doc?'
\ +
The Keepsake.
A Red Cross visitor was making his
rounds Of the soldier patients in an
Army Reconstruction Hospital, when a
colored soldier greeted him with: "Say,
boss, what is they keeping me here in
this hospital fora souvenir ?"
i
Occupational Disease.
Mrs. Diff-How's your good hus-
band getting along?
Mrs. Biff-Fine! Gone to work
again at good pay
Mrs. Diff (astonished)- But I thot
he had St. Vitus' dance?
Mrs. Biff-He has; but he learned
to play saXophone and then got a
swell job in jazz orchestra in cab
aret.
Good Reasons.
Johnny-What makes the new baby
at your house cry so much, Tommy?
Tomnny-It don't cry so very much
and anyway, if all your teeth were
out, and your hair off, and your legs
so weak you couldn't stand on them, I
guess you'd feel like crying yourself.
X !.
The Lord Helps Those, Etc.
Mrs. johnson Ho wdoes yo' feel dis
mawnin', Joe?
Mr.. Johnson feels bad-mighty
bad! I wish dat Providence would
have mussy on me an take me.
Mrs. Johnson-How can yo' expec'
| it to eff you won't take de doctors
medicine?
"A Tale and Hint.
eyes, sir; an the last time was
wounded, they was in such 'urry ter
sew me up they went and left sponge
inside n1e-and it's there now"
"Good gracious! Doesn't it hurt
you?"
mo, sir, thank you. But it do
make me most uncommon thirsty"
i. 4.
Lost Flesh.
"Well, Brown, how i'll you look!
What's the matter?"
"Oh, nothing much; losing weight,
that's all. Lost hundred and thirty
pounds offesh in one day."
Impossible"
"Fact, l assure you. Ny wife has
eloped with the next door neighborw
Can't Be Done.
"A negro who had an injured head
entered q doctors office. \.
WI So ~
Eyes, sab, done got carved up
with a razor, Doc"
why don't you keep out Of bad
company?" said the physician, after
he had dressed the wound.
Deed I'd like to, Doc, but amt
got huff money e git divorce"
She Had EN-.
"A Berthold farmer was passing the
Normal school the other day and he
CHANGED for the first time in his life
to see one Of the young women stu
dents going thru her gymnastic exer-
|cises. After gazing at her with inter
| est and compassion TOR some time, he
asked Z small boy Il she had fits. 81
mo, q replied the boy, them's gym
nastics."
aAh, how sad" said the man. "How
longs she had 'em Z"
No Chance.
doctor Household er, said the no
torious hghtwad, do You think yon
can get this tooth out without causing
Z shock 70 my nervous system =
I'm afraid not, replied the dentist,
dryly. s 4 Will cost you two dollars"