South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-01-12

Some bibulous muttonhead OF
Providence. Rhode Island, says the
poetry of alcohol will always defy
the fanatic and the bigot. That
mans crazy. He would change his
mind if he were to move TO a eoun-
try where the liquid melody exists
only in blank verse.
OF course, 1918 was the year OF
romance for the young women and
second lieutenants. Our advice to
the young women is 10 put in a part
OF 1919 getting next TO the secrets Of
the cook book.
Dorothy Dix says undoubtedly a
person in love does manifest many
signs of disordered intellect and
that they see charms and grace that
do not exist What If they do see
things? Nothing matters when one
is I'm love. as all of as knows burned
well.
a New York judge stated in an
opinion that a man should not at
tempt TO run an automobile when he
Is drunk. But when a man is drunk
he prefers to run an automobile
above everything else TO show the
world that he is not drunk.
After a safety of fried chicken
we are glad once more TO get back
TO our regular diet OF fried liver.
But, mind you, liver now occupies
prominent place on Fred Majors
weekly menu printed in the papers
every Friday. and is priced at 80
cents a pound. We see the time
coming when we will have 10 con-
tent ourselves with dog meat.
As much as we criticise the fem
mime fashions. we suppose if girls
were to dress as they did 40 years
ago We would be the first to laugh
at 'em. And the truth Of the mat
ter is. we are not half as much
shocked at the present styles as we
pretend to be.
Our twenty -five-year-o files
show that eggs were Is cents a
dozen, bacon II cents a pound.
chickens $3.50 a dozen and whisky
S1.15 a gallon. Backward, turn
backward. o time in your flight"
and give us youth again just for
month.
They say a girls hair requires all
of her attention until she gets her
first corset. II looks very much TO
must have bought their corsets long
ago.
The poets who have written re-
plies to I'm Flanders Fields" have
all succeeded in emphasizing the
beauty OF Col. McCreas immortal
lyric and in demonstrating how un-
fortunate It was for them TO initiate
it.
Another reason why il might be
best for the peace conference to be-
gin right away is. the correspond
ents and attaches may succeed in
talking up another big war before
this one officially ends.
A Chicago man los years old
boasts that he has always drunk
LIQUOR whenever he felt like il and
that he feels like il frequently. All
the same, IL will eventually get him
IL he sticks 10 il.
Miss Lucy Page CASTOR. the anti
cigaret fend. has quit her league
and will organize the churches
against the coffin nails" II, Miss
Lucy thinks she can put the 4.0OO,-
OOc doughboys 10 fight. she has cut
out some job for herself.
as it proper to say my
damnedest p" asks n reader. No,
don't say it Do it.
Somebody is saying that London
will always regard Mr.. Wilson as
the "jolly president" In some com
munities the president is regarded
as exceedingly austere and indiffer-
ent 70 the longings of the human
soul.
A Mishawakan returned from
France told the Patron Teachers the
other night he had learned much.
We hope he didn't get that man
kissing custom.
.
Lord Northcliffe has entertained
the American correspondents 10 the
peace conference. He can now see
what the Germans are up against
The Sim Fein members OF par
lament viii organize a parliament
Of their own and keep out OF the
London shebang. Get the motion
picture machinery ready.
"Pres't Wilson is a good mixer"
says Buford McDOnough OF the En-
terprise Our information is that
he doesn't use il az all Who in
formed you. Buford?
The cable tells US that the New
Year was ushered in by the Scots
in London with songs and wassan.
sure. if there is wassail. even tho
scots can sing cold Oaken RucISet -