Omaha daily bee., 1919-07-06
There Are Times When
Money Doesn't Do All
the Talking

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say they have happy times together,
and l suppose they get used to do
ing without things.
But my younger daughter" she
went on, with evident satisfaction,
married we'll. Her husband is an
automobile manufacturer, and he
can give her anything she wants.
She hasn't any children, but she has
every conceivable luxury. No, she
hasn't ever told me she is happy,
but of course she must be-"
Ever so many young girls, find,
even in this emancipated day. still
cherish and ancient notion OF
marrying well' that this mother
! expressed. And who can blame
them, when their mothers so care.
fully inculcate it, when it's part Of
the very air they breathe from their
earliest infancy?
We all know, of course, what it
means to marry we'll" 1t means
to marry a man with money. And
that is, of course, rather shocking,
when it's stated plainly.
Why should a mother be proud
of a daughter merely because she
has happened to attract rich man,
no matter what that rich man may
be? Why should a mother apollo
gize for a daughter whose husband
is poor, even though through him
the girl has found love and con-
tentnement?
We all understand, of course, how
the idea of marrying well" came
into vogue. There was a day, and
your grandmother can remember it.,
when there was no question of a
girls supporting herself. Still, she
had to be supported by somebody.
And especially if there were several
of her, this had way of exhausting
the parental purse.
So parents cultivated foresight.
They formed the habit of looking
about for young men who could
support their daughters. They were
perfectly conscientious about it. 1t
seemed the best service they could
render their ,offsprirrg-this marry
ing them off to somebody who could
guarantee a comfortable permanent
income.
This system rather fell to pieces,
of course, as soon as girls learned
how to support themselves, and to
control their own lives. Sensible
girls no longer married because
they wanted "a home of their own"
or because a young mans pros
poets" were such-and-such, but be-
cause they fell in love and desired
the happiness of life comrade.
But even though times have so
radically changed, even though
women are UNNECESSARILY freer than
they used to be, there are still
parents who repeat the outworn
formula, and who subtly and indi-
rectly, or perhaps even openly, en-
courage girl to make a mercenary
choice. They teach. her that if she
is once "well established" she can
command worldly respect, she can
achieve social power, she can not
only "have" everything, but get
anywhere. o.
l am afraid that some of the girls
who write to me have heard this
sort of teaching.
So / should like to convince them
that it's extremely old-fashioned,
entirely out-of-date, the most bar
barous sort of survival.
A girl who falls in love with
normal, wholesome young man who
loves her and who shares her tastes
to sufficient extent "marries WE'LL"
if she becomes his wife.
Truly, l don't know what else
she need consider.
If married pair achieve happiness
the possession of money will scarce
ly affect their contentment, one way
or the other. And if they are not
happy, everybody knows that money
won't make them so. Money, then,
ought to be the last thing considered,
rather than the first, in choosing
ones life-partner.
Do you really enjoy being with
the young man who wants to marry
you? Can you have thoroughly
good time together, even though
you should never go to a play or a
restaurant or party? Do you both
like outdoor walks and do you
laugh at the same things, and do
you like some, at least, of the same
books?
If you do, you are pretty safe in
marrying, even though he hasn't
had a raise" for a year and you
know you will have to begin house
keeping in two rooms.
should also advise any young
girl in whom l was personally in
terested not to marry man who
was unsy,npathetic toward the
emancipation of women, or who
didn't like children.
Try to form the habit of valuins
the really essential things in life,
and you'll be more likely to make
the right choice when it comes to
a question of marriage?
Realize, if you can. that it doesn't
make the slightest difference
whether your bethrothed is taller
or shorter than you, or whether he
is older or younger or whether he
is ugly or handsome, or (from my
point OF view. at least) whether he
is of different nationality.
These are all trivial points, and
am surprised that so many girls
seem concerned about them.
But, is he person who can be
real companion, person with
whom you can hand-in-hand, under