The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1919-07-24
TALES OF TOWN

/ N~---F~~NN~~f
speaking, a man spends his evenings
where he Is entertained best.
= . .
| An Illinois man mistook his young
bride 70 ra burglar and shot and i.illed
her. Brides should not start too early
in going thru hubby's pockets.
. = .
The sleeping porch reporter reports
that there have been very few import
ant changes in the style Of nightgowns
| A man has discovered that II Is inn
possible to support both his wife and
his automobile so he is beginning to
neglect his wife.
How renowned do you suppose the
name of King Solomon would be now
II all those wives Of his had had suf-
frage privileges?
"Pa wants 10 know if you can loan
him corkscrew?" asked the neigh
boris boy. LOAN him one!" exclaimed
Old Bill Misgivens "Son, III go with
you and show him how to use it."
There are altogether too many peo-
Pile who are ready to push man into
the troubled waters of politics with a
petition who are not willing to help
fish him out with their votes
.
Pack my box with five dozen liquor
jugs" said to be the shortest sentence
that contains all the letters of the
English alphabet. 1t is likely to make
very much longer sentences If obeyed
If there ever was anything to spirit
ualism this country would long ago
have been flooded with messages from
George Washington and Thomas JEFF
ferson.
What we need these days is a refri-
perator with gong attached so IL
will ring an hour or SO before the
drip pan needs empting and keen on
RINGING until the good wife takes care
OF the pan.
A Georgia colored Baptist minister
declares that the fruit with which
the serpent tempted Eve was water
melon. If that be true, then there was
no other way out of the dilemma.
Humanity will fall for an Emmett
watermelon even to this day.
The uproar in the cities about the
shutting off Of the booze supply is not |
Old Isaiah foresaw all
this $500 years ago when he said:
"There is crying for wine in the
streets; all Joy is darkened, the mirth
Of the land is gone"
The flies are never happier than
when torturing poor sweltering edi-
tor who is unselfishly trying to save
the country while his countrymen are
wrapping themselves in the cool
breexes of the snow capped mountains.
The preacher was in the middle of
his sermon when baby began to cry
and its mother rose and carried it
toward the door. "Stop,' said the
preacher. "the baby's not disturbing
me-" The woman turned towards the
pulpit and replied. "Oh. e amt, amt
e? But you're a-disturbing of i'm"
We have studied. at distance. it is
true but with painstaking care and
sssiduous devotion, the Apollo-like
form, the ripping muscles, the erect
carriage and the graceful stride of
Hon. Dempsey Having done so, one
thought stamps itself indelibly in mind
How well he would have looked in
Khaki
When Johnny came marching home
again they'd Strengthened up his
back.
At every sagging place on him they'd
puckered up the slack.
His walk was like q panther's tread,
his voice was a heavy bass.
No longer lantern jawed he had
pugilistic face.
indeed. he was so greatly changed
his Mammals petted SON
She didn't recognize the child. and
sicked the dog on John.
Q . .
"Now. you are sure you won't for
get to give the boy his medicine every
TWO hours?" asked the doctor. mot
likely" returned Old Bill Misgivens,
Half an hour before it's time he'll be
setting up in bed hollering that he'll
,e dod-blasted to tunket If he'll take