Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-10-19
OF long ago an ancient house
was torn down to make room
for something skyscrapy.

to rummage inside for odds and ends
of lumber. staggered out into the
sunshine with the teeth chattering as
sertion that he wouldn't go back in
thar ag'n not for chuch fuller
money--no. subj" His reason was
that while he was a-wukkin', with
nobody nigh, sump'n blowed cold
win on him till it frizz his jints an
he heard what SCUM like mad old
gent'man cussin' undo he's breff."
The workmen gave the old soul the
merry ha-ha, and that was all there
was to 1t except that
Way back in the last century no.
body would pass that same old house
after dark. because It was known to
be haunted by one Of those treasure
guarding ghosts you read about
an out-and-out buccaneer Of the
Spanish main. with cooked hat, gold
lace and most unpleasant smell
not counting in screams and chains
that Understanding fierce.
All of which would be too stale to
bother about. unless-well, suppose
the new building should be an apart
ment house, do you reckon old Buc
would still come around? And if he
does, don't you hope the poor thing
will adopt the methods Of the modern
liant and lay off cussin' for
change? You know how it would be
If you were ghost your sNwnself.
ont %~
moldy churchyards at midnight or,
haunt old houses along with Fats,
would you? OF course not! You
would rather Turk in the sunshiny
warmth of nurseries, where babies
frolic and sleep. go incognito to teas
without being obligated to give them in
return. get into theaters-dead head
and leave for cabaret jazzes the min
ute the curtain went down. You
would do 1t for the reason that the
newest cult of England-unspellab
-decrees that ghosts always keep
company with us whether they show
up or not, and that they are really
cheerful chums. The rule is to think
up the sort of specter you prefer and
you've got him-which seems an
easy pattern to go by. Naturally,
you would rather see your ghost than
have to take him like pig in a poke;
still, one might get along as satisfac-
torily with a mock spook as with,
say, mock turtle-it all depends!
The thing to remember is that you
mustn't expect too much from ghosts
in this world. Wait until you get to
the next one.
"C1GNATuRES of Gen. Washington
and President Jefferson. Take
one"
Most every customer did. One wom-
an gave, In return, an opinion for
the benefit of her companions:
III / couldn't write a better hand
than those two I'd lose my job, and
deserve it. Neither of them could
earn salt directing envelopes; no edi-
tor would stand for their copy, and the
civil service would turn them down
SO quick they wouldn't know whether
they were afoot or horseback.
Talk about character in chiro-
graphy-huh. reckon Father George
is all he's cracked up to be, but do
you see anything suggestive Of VAL
ley Forge in those curlymacues?-
and when 1t comes to Jeffersonian sim
plicity-what object do you suppose
Thomas had in grabbing up his name
like that?"
Which seems to show that for one
woman, anyhow, two great men lived
in vain.
A MAN stood at the open door of a
house. He was middle aged and
had an air Of self-respect in spite of
clothes that put him In the financial
class with Jobs turkey. The woman
who had answered his ring was as
wholesome as a country breeze:
Il don't need pins, but I'll take
paper to help you out"
This was a promising opening, which
the man made the most Of. He had
needles, shoe laces. collar buttons. hair
pins
II don't want anything else. thank
YOU"
These are dull times for me, lady.
This IL my FIRST sale today"
I'm sorry-let me see the shoe
strings. Do you keep them in your
pocket like that?"
The man did. He drew out shoe laces