New-York tribune., 1919-12-12
Books
By Haywood Broun

the world We were inclined 20 smile
indulgently. That was because in the
beginning Mr. Chambers included
among the Bolsheviki only those els-
ments generally recognized as belong
ing to the n1ovement-men who want
loot and blood, who want to rob evarv-
body with any education, men VIM
wear long whiskers and don't battle
men who have had the temerity an,
audacity to be born outside the bor-
ders of the United States, ali wolfsa
men, in fact, to quote Mr. Chambe-s
directly in a description of & radical
meeting, "the IA ority Of these nooole
men and women, were foreign ~ as.ect
round, bushy heads, with no backs
to them, were everywhere; muddv
skins, unhealthy skins, loose mouths.
shifty eyes.-everywhere around her
Palla saw the signs OF degcneracv."
In spite Of Mr. Chambers's eio3rencs
we saw no reason why we sho.ad fear
this crew which he described. IT. fac.
we were inclined to doubt the diagnosis
Of Mr.. Chambers that rad.cai3s-,
should Of necessity be set down - no
cause of muddy and unhealthy sAlns.
We were rather disposed to taink thst
diet might have something to Do VII
1t, particularly after reading the an
thors description Of Bolsbev,s.
breakfast a little later in the book.
THE bedroom, which smelled Of sour
fish, was very cold, very dirty and very
blue "l1n cigar. smoke. The remains ~
a delicatessen breakfast stood on
table near the only window, which wss
tightly shut and under the o<
which radiator emitted explosive
symptoms of steam to come.
"Sondhoim sprawied under The he'd
covers, smoking; two other men SAT On
the edge of the bed-Karl Kastner and
Nathan Bromberg Both were smoking
porcelain pipes. Three stopping quarts
of beer decorated the wa hstand."
Now, it stands to reason that M
democracy will ever be overthrown bv
agitators who sleep with their Windows
closed at night. A million free men
who touch their toes one hundred times
each morning would spring to tae de-
tense of competition, the Con IN
and fresh air. Nor has the faction
which breakfasts on beer, pickles and
porcelain pipes any chance to inonose
its will by force on all who live hon.
estly by bacon and eggs and toast and
coffee. But before we had gone much
further with the story we found that
Mr. Chambers had not even begun to
indicate the extent Of the forces which
might properly be identified with the
Bolsheviki. When he really warmed
to his work he could add couple of
million to the "Red" army with the
stroke of the pen. For instance. we
suddenly found one chapter declaring:
THE proper way to check Bolshevism
in America is to police the courtrv
properly and kick out the outraereo,,.,
gang of domestic Bolsheviki who have
exploited US, tricked us, lied to US.
taxed US unfairly, and in spite of whom
we have managed to help our allies win
the war"
The reference is not altogether clear
but there is at least the implication
that all the members of the Democratic
party, or at least all those in power
are bolsheviki. Later we found to our
horror that good many Republicans
were also under suspicion, for NJ.
Chambers described Congress as "a
domestic brand of sectional Bolsheviki
as dirty and degenerate as anv anar.
chist in all Russia"
Of course, by this time it is evident
that the Bolshevist menace to America
is truly formidable. including. as it
does, practically all Democrats, many
Republicans, all porcelain-pipe slnok-
ers, most of those who sleep with their
windows down, and everybody who
drinks beer for breakfast. We are not
quite certain, but we think that the
dirty prohibitionists who put over the
ory amendment while the boys yere
away in France were also set down
Bolsheviki. On page 800 the heroir
held a street meeting on Broadway
the rain for the purpose Of protestir Q
against all forms of violence, includir
the right of the working people
strike"
Well, we said to oursclf. now at lea
we know the worst. The "Reds" ha'
got practically everybody now but NJ
Chambers and Palla the beautiful her
inc. And then to our horror Pal
went as crimson as all the others. Sh
told young gentleman that she wouls
rather live with him than Submit t.
any degrading ceremony" and the hor-
rified voung man Immediately called
her a Bolshevist. That left Robert w
Chambers the only chemically loyal
person in the land We have identified
him, we murmured, the 100 per cent
American, so often mentioned yet so
elusive. But upon recapitulation We
set him down at a9ss because he made
his second assistant heroine a Swett
We suppose James Shotwell the
young man who refused to dispense
with the Clergyman. should not be
neglected. There seemed TO be no
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