The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-05-31
At THE CROSS ROADS
BY C. E. HATFIELD
Observation-Disclosures.

The leading man in Russia today Is
not over eleven miles, two jumps and
one small whoop ahead of his nearest
competitor, the same being out old
friend, the demnition bow-wows. :.
Jim Unison has his whiskers shaved
off. He got up in the night for dose
of cough remedy and took swig of
aquafortis by mistake. He said he was
getting along very well. but every
time he took a deep breath it set his
whiskers on fire.
Hiram Blodgett is back in Herring
ton after a very successful trip to To-
peka. While there he bought ten
shares in the Santa Fe Trail from a
man who had to sell on account of his
wife's health.
A professor at Manhattan has dis
covered that turpentine is good for
fleas. Anxiously we await a further
bulletin telling us WHAT fleas are good
for.
Chris Hanback, says his wife made
him eat so many carrots during the
war that he has a yellow streak two
and one-half inches wide the entire
length of his backbone.
The one outstanding distinction of
one Kansas state senator is that in ad
dit!on to a right hand and left hand,
as most people have. he has one other.
Invariably he is behind hand.
There was a fellow thru these parts
yesterday taking a collection for the
purpose of sending a mixed shipload
of p~rsipmons and carpet slippers to
Siberia. He did quite we'll. Hi. Hen
berry says the American people show
no "eclnt" in drawing a line between
common piffle and common sense.
Widow pumpkins, sixty and fat, fell
| on the sidewalk Tuesday. and. accord
| ing to the doctors, sprained her me-
dulla oblongata. Jimpson says he has
no reason to doubt it, but doesn't see
how in thunder she managed it.
Simpkins has a dog which he claims
| is just like one of the family. Old
man Pertinent says he knows which
| one, but is too much of a gentleman
| to say so.
Talking the other day about learn
ing roller skating. Mrs. Hopkins said
| the hardest thing she found about it
| was the sidewalk.
Some one wants to know if o. B.
Joyfurs credit is good. 1t certainly
is. He owes every merchant in town.
The great trouble with unkind
thoughts is they will insist on speak
ing right out loud.
Zion colored congregation is in the
midst of trouble. Last Sunday, Just
before dismissing the congregation,
the preacher asked all members pro-
| vided with umbrellas to wait until he
had chance to look them over.
When President Wilson gets back
from France he is going to miss many
faces he was used to shaking hands
with.
Hezekiah Rojers keeps up his repu-
tation for being forehanded. He has
4 bargained for the sale of his mothers
false teeth when she is thru with
them.
A little twelve year old girl is doing
for son Willie what his parents have
failed to do in six years of trying. He
is washing his ears now.
The meeting of the Society for Care
of Orphans in Belgium will not be
held Thursday. Impossible to decide
what color napkins to use.
Frank Colt says he is one of the
best salaried men in Kansas. He gets
as much as $1,000 a. week for attend.
ing to his own business and another
thousand for letting the other fellows
alone.
No promise is ever sacred unles.
there is manhood or womanhood bach
of it.
one of our neighbors made $40 las
winter catching skunks for the fur
He has now gone to fishing for the
summer.
Private Hawks, lately back from
France. says the part of going to wal
he lilrad he be ai1ocr