Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1919-06-01
The Observer Talks Automobile
ny one having an old automs-
bile Of any make or size that
\ ne wishes to give away will

he wishes to give away VIII
confer q great favor on the
Observer by dropping him a line to
this effect. He will make arrange
ments for a secret transfer from the
asked. II desired, the writer will call
in disguise at any secret point and
take the automobile away without
sound.
The point of all this is that the
Observer has been trying to buy, or
rather obtain, an automobile at
reasonable figure with the assurance
that he is not being cheated. To ac-
this very desirable result
he believes it will be necessary to
obtain car gratis. AS near as he
can make out from talking with the
owners Of various autos. to purchase
any except the particular kind of
terrible waste of honey-almost
criminal. in fact. And, since obvious
ly it is impossible for the Observer
to purchase all of these different
makes of cars, he must get one free
in order to be in position to argue
with all Of his friends that he has NOT
been cheated
1t is a strange fact that motor car
owners seem to think that the fact
that their particular machines run
well is due to their own major ability
owner of an automobile is something
like the doting father of a handsome
child. AS l see it, the fact that either
the machine or the child is suTDass-
lngly fine is due not to any special
of the parent (using
poetic license to call the ownlr of
car the parent of it,, but it is hard
man who has a machine runs it up
very steep grades on high, pokes out
his chest and says, Some boat" just
as II he made it some good. He never
seems to think that the manufacturer,
the inventor. the man who drew the
or the oil that runs the ma
chine had anything to do with the
going up the hill. Yet it must be
that they had a small hand
in 1t.
Few men ever start out, find. to
buy a medium priced car. They
either think that they will take on a
fivver because it runs or a large
eight passenger boat because it
makes the neighbors jealous. AS for
ne, l started looking for flivver,
Jumped to the eight-cylinder classes,
and now am noundering badly in the
section and wondering
II, after all. it would not be best to
invest in roller skates or bicycle.
One thing about trying to buy a
aivver Is that one starts out after
hem confident enough. 1t seems from
he number on the streets that every
one and hks brother has one. There
ore it should be easy to obtain one.
one thinks. That is erroneous. Good
livvers. Ind. are almost as scarce
Is good Indians. And when they do
,hanse hands they go almost as fast
Is dollars. 1t is not unusual for q
liver owner to advertise his car in
IN afternoon paper, sell 1t before
fifteen papers reach the street and
hen have to call the cops to protect
lis property from the several thou
sand persons who call on him after
his boat is gone, demanding to know
he did not keep said boat
or them.
But the hivver owner-oh, how
'abid! He probably is the worst type
II all. They will swear by all tlut
S holy. and some that is unholy, that
here is no machine in the world like
he one they own. Flivs generally
IRE good, they say. but the one that
'ests in their shed. oh, boy" 1t
forks like a trained flea, they main
ain. Trouble with it? Never in the
world. Had it eighteen years and the
'nly thing ever bought new for it
vas rubber band or a feed nipple
n something else that can be picked
Up at any good 5and-lo- cent store.
X X X
l honestly believe that the flivver
'revaricator Is the worst liar in the
world. Why, one Christian gentleman
Who owned a'fiiv actually looked me
'quarely in the eye and solemnly de-
Jared that he got thirty-eight miles
gallon out of gas in his fliv. Another
declared that on one occasion when