Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-12-27

BY THE SAGE OF THE SIDEWALK

I've been looking Ut my poem,
It's the lrst ever wrote,
And cannot quite decide
How to begin my little note.
For OF course couldn't think
OF sending It without :.
For an editor might steal it,
There's dishonest Ones no doubt.
think shall begin like this:
Dear literary friend:
am sure you'll be delighted
With the poem append.
Perhaps ought to name price,
But that seems hard to do;
The theme IN taken from real life
The heroine knew.
Each word HIS been erased know.
At least q dozen times.
That's why my meter IL SO good.
I've measured all my rhymes.
I'm not enclosing stamps. because
know you'll want to keep
The manuscrip: that / submit,
Although It's rather deep.
And now about the price again.
It's really hard to name
A figure that's consistent
With my talent and my fame.
My friends all say I'm careless
About making money-well,
Any soul that's literary
Cannot stoop to buy and SELL
But I'll put price tag ON it
That I'm sure will make you grin. >
For your readers it's a bargain,
For my art 1t is q sin.
-CELEsrIA.
Editors note: The Sage wants to thank
Celestia for the compliment implied In the sec:
ond line OF that third stanza. He is used to
being called names, but seldom does he re-
ceive an epithet 20 soothing as this.
The Nashville Banner says in Babylonian
times literature was not printed. 1t was baked.
Over here It is usually roasted.
-
One Of the strangest things in the world
ting chalk in her lungs.-Indianapolis News
%
in the jug.
-Four gills one pint, two pints one quart,
four quarts one gallon. one gallon one quarrel,
one quarrel two fights, two fights, four police
men, four policemen one magistrate. one mag
istrate, one month.-London Tit-Bits.
o.
To Iw-
Did hubby 'enthuse' when you gave him the
andirons and tea-wagon on Christmas? Pos
sibly he was thinking Of the small thin en-
velope. the kind with the onion skin piece on
week Of January. We say. possibly" for OF
course all husbands are not SO, so-cold-heart-
ed and, and-unreasonable!
Was it what she wanted? How did she act
Did you remember to take OF the price tag!
Tell us about It. Some disappointments now
and then, will come to cen the best Of men.
r. N. Has Hope.
1t 10 rumored that in some states the On
forcement Of prohibition has been written in
the interests Of patent medicines. With some
thing like $500, 100000 invested in the afore-
taid industry, it looks like something might
could. would or should be done about it. Pos
sibly when the state legislatures meet again
but then you never can tell what these bodies
will do.
Ten Years From Next Fourth.of-Ju-New
Years.
Mother to Richard: Fly over to Chicaxc
and bring me some kumquats: want them
TOR this salad. Fly right along, while make
the dressing"
A recent definition Of play: Work that YOU
do not have to do"
Would snow-shoveling come under tina,
head?
To our contribs: Be brief, 1t gives the i'm
preston Of intelligence and our subscriber:
do admire intelligence
Is letter writing q lost art? Ask the mai
carriers.
II Mary Margaret wanted q silk dress. 1
diamond necklace. 8 wrist watch and a Pierc,
Arrow for Christmas. We think she ought I,
nave ft-and the bottle Of perfumery, too
WHAT'S the use OF being stingy these days.