Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-07-09

the pulmotor was successfully used on two
young pigs that fell into river in New York
and were thought to be dead when they were
ished out And it might be added that young
pigs are worth saving these days. Look what
they bring when they are full grown.
Keep your eye on Alvin York, who killed
more Germans than any other American sol
der. He continues to reject all theatrical Of
fers. That's what his press agent reports.
He'll turn out to be a wiser bird than folks
imagine him to be or miss our guess. He's
got a card up bis sleeve. Keep your eyes on
his cuffs, gents. 1t wouldn't be human for a
man to turn down the gold York is said to have
| been offered. He's lying low and waiting until
| all the other heroes shoot their wads, and then
he'll spring the blow-of.
White Cloud is to have another newspaper"
reports the Atchison, Kan, Globe. White
Cloud needs another newspaper like it needs
a tornado or a flood invasion of army
worms or something
James whitcomb Riley once said: "A pearl
gray ass is an ass that has been ass long.
long time" He must have been thinking of
the clown prince of Germany.
In England society girl, after the mar
rage knot was tied, lighted a cigaret and
smoked it, her husband following suit. And
she allowed herself to be photographed with
the weed between her lips. Bet there is a fam
lily connection with the tobacco trust.
An ohioan of 81. asked how he retained his
health and buoyant spirit, pointed to a little
old bicycle in his back yard. He says men
who ride in autos are lazy. Perhaps. One
thing is sure: The beneficial results attainable
by bike riding are not to be had by lolling in
the rear seat of gas car.
There is to be another federal investigation
Of the beef trust And the packers keep on
saying they court publicity. OF course they
do, because it pays in the long run, even if
they found guilty.
During the war 20 New York truckmen stole
81 600 worth of merchandise. The discov-
cry was not made until the concerns mu1cted
settled down after the excitement OF cleaning
up on war contracts. Which is faint insight
on the clip at which business moved during
the war-speeding process. Everybody who had
anything to sell got his. He threw his lead
pencils away and used a scoop shovel.
A hen offered in evidence in an English
versy over the ownership Of the egg arose, and
the magistrate interposed and claimed it. Yet
we hear it said the British have no sense of
humor
Senator Penrose says he doesn't care what
names people call him just so they don't call
him old. Well, he knows how old he is without
being called.
A correspondent says American money is
in high favor among the Germans. For his in
formation we might say it also is very popular
in this country.
In Belgium shoes that cost $50 two years
ago now be had for So Yet we hear it
said that the people of that country are suf-
fering. Not as much as they are in this coun-
try, if we are to believe the price quotations
on necessarfes of life.
Harry New took a girl auto riding in Glen
dale Cal. and asked her to marry him. She
refused. He shot her dead and took her body
to the police station. He said he didn't want
to have any mystery about the affair and was
ready to take the consequences. At least he is
to be commended for his frankness.
Now Won Hindenburg has come to bat and
says he should be blamed for Germany's war
acts Don't crowd boys you'll all get yours
when the time comes. There will be punish
ment enough to go around
The way the war lords of Prussia are climb
ing over one another in effort to keep the
former kaiser from going to trial one would
imagine they afraid that he will tell some
unpleasant things about them in the event he is
placed in a corner
Kipling has penned a poem about William
Hohenzollern. He says the angels may want
the former kaiser. but that he'll never be want
ed on earth. Most folks think that neither the !
angels nor the earth will want Will Therefore
there is only one place left for him to go when
he checks in. Most people want William to go
where he won't be worried any more over coal
bills.
On the back of admission tickets for car |
ity ice cream social to be given soon in Rock
Island appears the business card of a local flu |!
neral director and embalmer. Put there. evil /
IDENTIFY. to keep the joy of the occasion from |
being carried to excess.
J. NC