Gunnison news-champion., 1919-07-04
The Fifty
Dollar Bill
tcopyr.xht)
By FRANK coNDoN

expression upon their cOunisDances
and Z wrist-bag suffering from CON-
plete emptiness.
They are waiting for their hundreds
Of thousands Of husbands to come
home from the office and hand over
without comment sufficient amount
Of money TO relieve the wrisi-bass Of
their paucity.
Mr.. James Joseph Sldell did not pull
down so a week. but through the
kindly help Of q delayed expense bIll,
the cashier at WorIner & Mulreavy's
broke the glad news
You've got something extra this
week, sidell.- he announced. handing
over the envelope. THAT expense ac-
count Of yours has com. through with
the official OK"
would you mind changing the nifty
into tcnsT" said Sldeil placatingly.
I'll need small money before night"
There isn't another drop Of money
In the building answered the cash
Ter. You can stop In somewhere and
get II changed"
long enough to flash the fifty and
dazzle O'R0urke. Then he Inserted
the folded bin in his walstcuat pocket.
and O'Rourke amused several clerks
by skIllfully eItrocting 1t and substi-
tuting In its place a menial and lowly
fye-dullar note.
At the moment O'Rourke changed
bills with Sidell. Mrs. Olive Sidell
ceased curling her hair on the sixth
floor Of the apartment at the corner
OF 10th street and Amsterdam ave
nue. and began to compute time.
Mrs. Olive SldelI was going down
town, and on the dining-room table lay
a slip Of yellow paper on which was
written the names Of seventeen ar
ticles sh. wished 10 purchase
II need exactly eleven dollars and
nineteen cents" said Mrs. Sldeil cheer
fully. I
James Joseph knew that Olive was
and turned Into the tawdry and yul-
gar place on the corner.
"Giye me lemon and seltzer," he
said virtuously.
The gentleman In ermine behind the
mahogany placed the drink before him
with hard thought In his mind.
'Cnn you change fifty-dollar billY'
Inquired Mr. SIdell casually.
.'Do you think this is a bank." re-
torted the man. looking at James Jo
seph peeyishly.
Il thought you might have It," said
James
Il haven't" said the man.
Mr.. Sidell laid nickel on the coun-
ter He had borrowed 81 from
O'Rourke during the morning. and was
relieved 10 find most Of II In his pocket
In the shape OF small change.
He left the place in a slightly un-
pleasant frnme of mind. and wandered
toward the subway, slowly and halt
ingiy. but with general notion Of
getting into a train.
There's no sense in taking home a
fifty-dollar BILL" he reflected. "Olive
doesn't need II and she can't change
II, and, besides. it's too much TO hand
on shopping tour. must break this
bill"
Once again he entered gilded den
OF iniQuity. The man behind looked
at him brightly us he cast anchor d.
rectly before the gold cash-register.
Give me n milk and seltzer." he
said.
"Give you what!" said the man.
peering at James Joseph. and raising
his voice as he said the word what"
"A milk and seltzer." repeated Mr..
SIdell.
The man sneeringly reached for the
milk bottle, and more sneeringly
squirted the seltzer at the glass.
Can you change nfty-dollar bInr
he asked firmly. and with his blue
eye fastened intently upon the gray
eyes Of the barrnan.
'No: and. what's further informa-
ton, I can't play the bagpipes. and I
can't initiate Eddie Foy, and I can't
make my ears wiggle. and there's a
lot Of other things I can't do. This
is a saloon. not the mint"
Crestfnllen and chastened. James
Joseph tore another nickel away from
the O'nourke loan, and paid for the
milk and seltxer.
He began to feel q strange throbbing
within him as the milk closed with
the lemon In death grapple, with the
seltxer ~ referee; and when he hove
within sight Of the next life-saving
station. he hurried forward with
stride that almost betokened enthusi-
asm.
Have you got something for q pain
In ones stomachf- he inquired, and
the genial pirate behind the casing
nodded and Immediately began stir
ring wooden spoon in thick glass.
Here's lookin' At you" he said
nmiabiy. ~1ave you got change for q
fifty-iollar bill7"
''No. sir.. replied the man. there
aln't change for nifty In New York
city. n we had thnt much m0oev IN