Baxter Springs news., 1919-04-04

W0mans Suffrage mas Deen recoB'
nized in the Peace Conference al
France. So much for Step-Mamms
Wilson going along.
March went out with a smile after
all; If April will just be half as decent
as March we won't complain.
Some Of the street car conductors
are getting SO civil as to discuss the
weather with their passengers.
BY the way, what has become Of the
shirt you had to either skin into over
your head or syphon it on from the
other end?
We would like to make owners OF
dogs which persist in rending the
night air with their melodies, sit up
with those dogs and lose the same
amount Of needed rest as the rest OF
US sufferers.
Speaking of dogs bowling at night,
if the old grannies' tale that there is
a death in town whenever you hear. a
dog bowling, is true, then the under
taking business in this berg must be
paying investment.
We overheard a farmer who lives
out on the west end of the proposed
concrete highway say that whatever
the town got free the farmer paid for
and naturally he was looking for the
joker IN the proposition that is soon
to be made, to take care Of the farm
er's end of the cost of this road.
One thing apparent about that new
movie "Cannibals of the South Seas"
it didn't cost much for costumes.
It's coming to a pretty pass when a
high priced paragrapher has to spend
time to read thru an entire column OF
stage happenings to find the word
scenario and then not find it.
~ er1.trre --s-=-N-
You can't aFord to Dodge insurance
so long as cars are being taken every
other night, yet some fellows think So
With prairie hay and alfalfa flirting
around the $40 per ton mark, we have
instructed our cook to cut out cereals
until further notice.
One apple day may keep the doc
tor away, but after consulting our
grocer we have decided it's cheaper to
have the doctor.
Speaking of butter substitutes, 3
Hope Sudds, our local tonsorial artist
says his wife has found one that costs
less and tastes more like butter thar
the real article itself.
With a dollar down and dollar q
week" store coming to town, there
shouldn't be much trouble in negotia-
ting our new Easter suit.
One good thing about the annual
change in time is that some folks get
out to church on time once every year
Over at Budapest some one started
the cry "free looting for % hours
Over here in America they don't raise
the cry but carry on indiscriminately
and without any limitation of time.
Mrs. Newbride, who is very anxious
to beat the high cost of living by hei
garden methods, says her beans are
already up but that she will wait un'
til danger of frost is over before risk
ing her onions, as they don't seen
very strong.
Some well-meaning but badly mis-
informed neighbor of~Ours recent!
told a house hunter that We wer'
about to vacate our premises for tn
summer. Investigation disclosed tina
they had mistaken a severe case O.
spring house cleaning for a case O.
moving.
In fact, about all the vacation
poor paragrapher gets is along II
EAugust when he takes the kids ant
camps out on the front lawn betweeI
g p. m. and 6 a. m.
Pa," said little Johnnie Nye, sol
of old Pert, ''What does BOlshevik
mean?" Pert scratched his head an
said "bol" means to mess things up
'shev' means anything ignorant; an
flli' means Russian Jew. In othe
words, a Bolshiviki is an ignoran
Russian Jew messing things up"
We are willing to wear our summe
trousers without the assistance Of sus
penders and will gladly persecute ou
feet with those fancy house slipper