davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
Gen. John J. Pershing
Is On His Way Home

N EN-. JOHN J. PERSHING has
w sailed from Brest for America,
after two years spent abroad. He
returns with honors thick upon him.
Great Britain and France have, in
particular, shown the high esteem in
which they hold the American COM
mander-in- chief. Statesmen, military
leaders, royal personages and, in fact.
most of Europe's notables, have at
one time or another paid tribute of
respect and admiration to the gallant
American soldier, a soldier and pa
triot who undertook a great service
for his country and performed it well.
When the history Of the war is
written, Pershing's achievements will
loom large. He proved himself not
only boSn leader of men, but a
skillful tacticiAn and an extraordi-
nary organizer and executive. In the
performance Of exacting duties he
won credit for himself and his coun-
try. It is gratifying to learn that a
diliatory Congress is at last bestir-
ring itself to confer the title Of full
general on him before his arrival. 1t
is not much to do for a man who mas
done so much for America and FOR hu-
manity.
There will be celebrations of many
kinds when Pershing reaches American
soil, notably in New York and IN
Washington, but none will be more
sincere than the welcome to be ex-
tended to him by his fellow townsmen
of Laclede, Mo-, Of which he is by far
the most distinguished son. There will
be no stiff formality in Laclede's re-
ception to "Johnny"Pershing, as May
or Edmund B. Allen calls him. 1t
will be an old-fashioned Missouri
homecoming - singing, shouting,
handshaking, music and oratory, with
"fried chicken dinners on the ground. F"
Sometime in October Johnny" is ex-
pected to greet the friends of his boy
hood at Laclede and if we mistake
not, it will be one of the happiest
DAYS of his life.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

Charles Phelps Cushing, in Leslies.
6NO an A. e. F man. the convic-
tions of the average civilian
q that two regiments Of Anne cican
marines and two Of United States
doughboy regulars unsupported at first
army in it's march upon Paris is a
shocking piece of exaggeration. But
your average American believes it
like a gospel. The A. e. F. man sits
down and draws on the back of an en-
veIope a diagram of the deep bulge
running from Scissors down to Cha
teau Thierry and up to Rheims. He
explains that the Chateau Thiersy
pocket was about 60 miles long on the
first day of June, 1918 and that the
American units Of the Second division
on the Belleau woods front and tine
men Of the Third division in the city
OF Chateau Thierry and east of there
alona the Marine held only a small trac-
ton of that 6o-mile front
These facts do not please your civil
ian. He is certain that but for, the
machine gunners Of the Third division
there two regiments OF marines and 81
few other Yanks who happened to be
around, the Germans in column of
squads. with flying colors. would have
marched right on nopposed through
Meaux and Vincennes into Paris to
camp On the night of June 2 in the Place
de ia Concorde and along the Champs
Elysees. You demonstrate that you are
an American yourself, and are as proud
as any one possibly could be of the
way the Second and Third divisions
took the place of WORKOUT French di
visions and held bit of the line that
was rapidly crumbling. But after all,
it was only a bit, and two divisions
could not have stayed 6 huge army.
without considerable cooperation along
the rest of the front. That certain
French, English, Italian and Scotch
troops took part in the defensive of the
Chateau Thierry pocket" and fought
with fury which matched that of our
own men-particularly those allied d.
visions stationed at the hinges of the
line (near Scissors and near Rheims)
is too much for a headline skinner
to grasp. Your man in the street be-
lieves that the Yanks did it all, how
ever small their sector of the line may
have been, and nothing under heaven
will shake his convictions on the point.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

And later from the "Old Dominion came
Strong scions of the gallant cavaliers
Who with Prince Rupert charged on
Edgehill field.
Such elements as these combined to make
A mighty people and a mighty state.
Nor Greek nor Roman tongue, with words
of fire,
Fer stirred to greater deeds the souls of
men
Than Yancey's eloquence, when all
aflame
1t set the Southern heart In later years
Thy statecraft stretched to ages yet
unborn
When Morgan spoke the tie of the mighty
seas.
Proudly thy name was carried round the
globe
When the chivalric Semmes the oceans
swept:
Not Drake nor Nelson earned q nobler
Than he who trod the "Alabama's"
decks.
When first our fratricidal war famed out,
Thy elder Fourth" leaped to the battle
front
And grandly met. on Bull Runs CORY
banks,
fields
Thine other sons immortalized their
deeds:
While trump of Fame shall sound its
notes, will live
The roar of Pelham's guns at Freder-
icksburg
And when the world call came. thy
younger Fourth
Along the Marine and in the Argoiine
Wood. .<ei
Was wide acclaimed the earth's hest
fighting band.
And. Mother State. victorious though
bereaved,
While the long centuries roll. thou'lt
keep afresh
The memoir, o. thine own heroic SOS
Who sleep "a Glc-ss arms on foreign
shores
And year / year, Fond pilgrims o'er tr.M
sea
Will fare shels way ani loving trhass.
pay "
Beside the graves O. al, immortal dex
Cniversi ~ A.sham.I
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

The difference between IA brainy
man and an idiot is that the brainy
man agrees with you when you make
statement and the idiot argues with
you.
Many a girl who has married to get
a home has had to go out and get a
Job to help pay the rent.
y A woman is always willing to trade
some old thing she needs for some new
thing she doesn't need.
nan is more apt to be lenient with
a big man than he is with a little
man
The secret of success lies in knowing
more about your own business than
you do about other peoples business.
After a girl has read half dozen
Of the sex serials running in some of
the magazines she won't have any.
thing to blush about when she becomes
a bride.
What has become of the o. f. stork
that used to visit Queen Victoria Of
Spain every year?
modern statesman hasn't much Of
future unless he is able to say things
that sound big and mean nothing.
1t dlsgusts bride to find that the
man she has been posing for is no pet
ter than herself.
The way to brighten the world for
two members of shv hand holders
union is to turn the lights out.
And married man doesn't have to
tell conundrums to keep his wife
guessing.
Rouge doesn't look so bad when it is
properly used. but most girls put it
on with putty knife.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
ALABAMA'S BROOD
1S19-1919.

By Thomas c. McCorvey.
An hundred years! And not the tawny
Tiber
That flows beneath great Rome's en-
circled hills
Fer looked upon nobler breed of men
Than thou hast fed upon thy generous
breast
Proud Alabama. From princely stocks
they sprang.
First came and went the Spanish cava-
Tiers
But naught they left behind. save tracks
of blood.
Next came to stay the Gaul and then the
Scot;
And some their blood they blent with
fierce Maskoki:
Sehoy's right royal strain still flows in
veins
OF TAFT and Tunstall Shomo and Wealth
erford.
From this rich blendure on thy soil there
sprang
McGillvray, ''the forest Talleyrand.'
Who matched his wits with Washington
himself,
And the Red Eagle chief who proved
to be
A worthy foe of stormy Jackson's steer.
While yet the cross of Britain flew from
the walls
OF Fort Toulouse and from TomDeck-
bees bluff,
There came the staunch colonial stock
which stood
For England's crown. the ''Loyalist" so
called,
who sought refuge in thy forests wild
From patriot zeal in older mother states.
From them arose a line of Cotton
I lords
Strong leaders in the large affairs OF
men.
When Tohopeka's blood field was won
The way was clear Tor atriot pioneers
Who trelseG aionS thy Hills and plains;
unyoked
Their oxe, ~ thy cryssal streams; and
here
Built sturt homes. Al strong of limb
were they
| And keen o. eys-~st men to win the wild.
Some on king Mou1si ms crimsoned
| slopes iaa helped
| To turn the tide Is edom's glorious
war.
Among Their. WAS he riie ulsterite-
A blend mcss are u Sas.on and of Celt
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
TWENTY YEARS AGO
INTHE AGE-HERALD
Events recorded. September 2. 1899

Yellow fever has broken out in New
Orleans and Key West. One case is
reported in Indiana. Alabama has al
ready established a quarantine against
infected localities.
Sir Thomas Upton, owner of the
Shamrock. arrived in New York yes
terday on board the Cunard liner Cam
pania. He was given. an enthusiastic
welcome.
War preparations in the Transvaal
are going grimly on The Johannes
burg town council has provided three
months supply of food for certain of
the towns employees and animals. Out
going trains are crowded with ref
ugees, bound to Natal and other
places.
The attempt made at Rennes yes
terday to show Dreyfus's intimacy
with Germans failed. During yeste--
days proceedings many dispositions
favorable to the prisoner were given.
Jerry Fountain has been appointed
superintendent of education for Jeffer-
son county, to succeed Prof. I. w. Nc
Adory. after strong fight made a:
Montgomery.
The Commercial club has Joined the
other commercial bodies Of BirmiEg
ham in demanding the abolition OF the
present state railroad commission and
the adoption of the Georgia railroad
commission law.
The Republic Iron and Steel com.
pany will build a new blast furnace
with a capacity of 200 tons day te-
side the two furnaces at Thomas.
DR. ]. D. steele, new pastor of tht
Cumberland Presbyterian church, viii
begin his work tomorrow. DR.. Steele
is regareAA as one of the most noted
div she country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

the farmer, the wage-worker and the
salaried man, they feel the need of a
larger return than formerly
But there they run UP, first of all,
against the excess profits tax in re-
spect of their own business or the
business of the corporation in which
they have invested
Let me point out, incidentally, that
the spectacular earnings of certain
corporations and individuals afford no
just criterion OF the earnings of bust
ness on the whole. AS against num-
Der of concerns and individuals who
have made exceedingly great profits
during and since the war; there are
numerous Others whose earnings have
shrunk during and since the war.
AS to the matter of thrift, Mr..
Kahn tells US that the lessons of the
war are being rapidly unlearned.
Thrift, he says, consists not merely,
or even mainly, in putting ones saw
ings into savings bank or war saw
lngs certificates or other sound in
vestments. Indeed, the investing of
savings is really only the utilization
of the product of thrift; it is not in
itself what can properly be termed
thrift
Furthermore, according to Mr..
Kahn:
The essential thing in thrift is the
continuous practice of sane economy,
Of avoiding useless or wasteful ex-
penditure, of careful, individual, fam
lily and business housekeeping in ev-
eryday life. That is not as simple
and easy as 1t may seem. 1t requires
teaching and guidance.
A general exhortation to be thrifty
is not enough. Some qualified agency
ought to exist, not only to direct a
persistent propaganda to encourage
saving, but to indicate how, where
and in what way to save. Some saw
ings are more needed, and more effec-
tive than others. Some are wiser and
more desirable than others. Numer-
Gus savings are practicable which
really. involve no deprivation at all.
Thrift, as particularly the example
of France has demonstrated is ma
tional asset of the greatest value. 1t
is astounding how great is the effect
of multiplicity of savings, and, con-
versely, of a multiplicity of extravag-
ance The effect upon prices is cumu-
lative one way or the other.
I would suggest therefore, that the
Federal Bureau of Salvage, the es-
tablishment of which I have advocat-
ed, be also charged with the function
of promoting and teaching thrift.
This little brochure issued by Mr..
Kahn is full of stimulation and should
have wide circulation. 1t is educative
in the highest degree.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
Opposed to CIairvoyant..

IT notice that an Injunction handed
down recently gave fortune tellers,
seers and all such people the privilege
of operating in the city limits again,'v
said M. N. Morris, local insurance man.
'"The city commissioners kept these
people from locating in Birmingham for
some time, much to the credit Of Bir-
mingham. I do not believe they ought
to be allowed to operate within the
city limits. We have had clairvoyants
to mysteriously disappear from here
with large sums of money belonging to
local women. In my opinion these peo-
pie should not be allowed to locate
here"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
MONKEY DOSES DOCS

Bridgeport, Conn.--Hercules, trained
monkey, owned by DR.. Robert MARGIN. a
veterinarian, slipped out of its cage re-
Gently.
He found bottle of pills, the contents
of which he fed to two bulldogs, one
valued at $500 and the other at $3.50. The
dogs died.
Hercules made his way for four blocks
to house, where he entered bedroom
and got into bed with two children.
police sergeant who had had expert
ence in a circus caught Hercules.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
All Have Insurance.

Negroes as rule take more pre-
cautions about some things than white
people," said assistant Coroner r. f.
Askew. Not since / have been in Of
flee, which has been period of several
months, have 1 investigated the death
of member of thE colored race who
did not have from one to three insur-
ance policies. They always derive
enough from their insurance to pay
their burial expenses and the rest is
left to their wife, or wives, some of
them having as many wives as insur-
ance policies"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
y y y

BEGINNING THE DAY-God, re-
lease my fingers from my own
throat. Help me to turn myself
loose. Cure this miserable reserve,
this fatal seIf-consciOusncss, this
deadly unwiflingness to cut away
Ito be an arrow, n voice, to lose
my life in Thy life. In Christ's name.
Amen.-H. NJ. f.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
BREAKING 1T GENTLY

From the Eagle Grove Ua.) Eagle.
The Rev. Winter was pastor of the
M. f. church many years ago, at the
time it was destroyed by cyclone. En-
gineer Sam Wood broke the news to Mr..
Winter gently by shouting: Your church
has all been blown to hell, elder!'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

piead In Dehalf OF himself and the 1or-
mer masters of Germany, as Senator
Chamberlain asserts? Let him pic
ture the war lords as virtuous, Kind
ly men who wouldn't harm a fly,
particularly if it happened to be a
Belgian fly, and seek to show that
Germany was not only innocent of
causing the war, but after being
forced into it, carried it on in the most
humane and heightened manner?
Such statements are no longer cred
tied in America. They are an old
story now. We have heard them from
practically all the leading imperialists,
from Wilhelm on down.
1t is probable that there is little
capacity for harm in Won Ludendorff's
book, but it is sure tc be interesting
as showing the typically German point
of view and expressing the opinions,
real and feigned, of a man who played
no small part in the war. AS propa-
ganda it will make no progress in
this country for the simple reason that
there are certain facts in regard to
Germany and the war which cannot
be argued away, even by Won Lu-
dendorff.
The passing of New York's famous
"AIimony club will work a hardship on
Stacker husbands and space writer's for
the New York papers. Ludlow street
Jail has furnished some good copy in
its time
Uncle Sam has "a water wagons for
sale, "A for sprinkling and 10 for drink
ing water. Some people seem to think
the chief trouble with this, country is
an over production of water wagons.
+ y
Admiral Mark L. Bristol. who warned
Turkey that Armenian massacres must
cease, may have exceeded his authority.
but he hasn't hurt his popularity in
America enough to notice.
4 y y
When all the naughty dances are ban
ished it may no longer be possible for
patrons of vaudeville to watch the play
Of muscles in a stage lady's kalsomined
back.
President wilson's hope that the whole
wage question may be put upon another
footing is merely his way of saying he
hopes America will soon be putting her
best foot forward.
1t is now realized that cartoonists who
pictured Wilhelm at work on rock
pile or sitting in cell with a ball and
chain attached to his ankle were bit
premature.
STILL isn't it, quite comedown for an
actor who formerly travelled about the
country in a private car and seldom put
foot on the ground. to do picket duty
in front of theatre?
* * *
RI. ;v,to oh
livion, he paused to regret, like Carl and
Zita, that he was born a member of the
House of Perhapsburg."
X X 4
Proclaiming the Independence of
Korea and maintaining it against the
Japs, are two entirely different propo-
sitions
It's bit dull in the public prints since
Bella Kun removed his tear-stained face
from Budapest.
y y y
At any rate, Mexico seems to have
adopted friendly attitude toward Amer
lean boxers.
* * =
The nabit of carrying a bottle in ones
hip pocket no longer shocks patrons of
fashionable restaurants.
y y: =
A race riot is not necessarily an indica-
ton that town is progressive.
X * y
Every little movement has slogan
all it's own.
\ * y
The cost Of living is still a considerable
distance above the house tops.
TWENTY YEARS AGO
TNTHE ACE.HERA1n
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

FTOIft Ute CIeFtIHHu IIdIH IedIer.
Poor, bankrupt Prussia merrily
hands over 17o,00o.OO0 marks to the
kaiser as settlements for The civil
list he lost through abdication. STILL
at the present exchange on marks.
that isn't SO much as it looks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
NARROWING RECITAL.

NARROWING RECITAL.
"Who is the man over there surrounds
ed by a crowd of admirers?"
That's Blobster, the famous arctic ex-
plorer"
81 suppose he's telling about his ex1
periences in the frozen regions?"
Eyes. He says the temperature in his
apartment last winter wasrseldom above
zero"
SCATTERING A PRECEDENT.
MAY 1 ask what you are readir<r'
you may. It's a story about giit|
nihilist in Russia, extraordinary in one|
respect"
How so?"
1.-THE heroine is named neither Vera
nor Olga"
LONG FIGHT AHEAD.
What was that short haired woman
saying?"
Down with tobacco"
"Umph. wonder what she'll be saying
next?"
We'll, unless 1 misjudge the temper of
American people in general and tobacco
users in particular. that slogan will last
her for the rest of her life
LABORING UNDER A HANDICAP.
''This author says he has tramped
about the country, beaten his way on
freight trains and been thrown into Jails
to get material for his stories.'
That's the way to study life at first
hand
"Qute so. But he wants to lay the
scene Of his next story in fashionable
hotel. He says he's too old to be bell
hop and too poor to be guest
FAST WORK.
Hes a super salesman"
"why do you think SOP
"I've seen him buttonhole a fat man
who had just issued, red-faced, perspir-
ing and angry from a telephone booth
and sell him block of oil stock in Is
minutes PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

HARKING hack

From the Kansas City Times.
A Kentucky man has been found
who says he Is ISL years old. That
ought to be easily settled. Can he re-
member when bread and butter wore
served with meal without extra
charge?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

MELANCHOLY DAYS.
Oh, the signing winds of autumn
And the sere, the yellow leaf
Only fill me with forebodings
OF a not far-distant grief
For they solerpn1y remind me
tbs thought to chill my soul
That ere long l may be paying
Half my income out for coal
DIsILLUSIONED.
$50 she refused your"
Yes, thank heaven!"
Il must say you are bearing up we'll
under your disappointment"
80 would you, if you had thought the
object of your affections was gentle.
refined girl, quite unworldly, in fact, and
after you had whispered, BE mine she
had replied, Nix on that stuff"
MAGAZINE POETRY.
Once / saw
Perched on my bed, flock OF pink and
green snakes,
blue monkey and red giraffe,
And purple dog, all in a bunch.
Luke McLuke.
Once I saw
Approaching toward my flivver on the
highway
A heavy truck and a speeding bike
And an ice cart, too close to dodge.
-Boseon Journal
Once 1 saw,
AS I held three deuces at a little green
table,
A king FULL and a flush
And straight. and they told me to
stay out till
had something.
Detroit Free Press.
Once I saw,
Calmly drinking at the bar together,
And a Herzegovinian from Sarajevo.
called the police.
ST. Louis Post Dispatch.
A dance a,es v hall where couples rocked and
Jazz band walled and shrieked and
moaned.
o what a shimmy that was!
And then a woman screamed,
1.-THE place is pinched.'
SONG OF PROCRASTINATION.
when the frost is on the punkin
And the folders in the Shock"
There'll be time enough for getting
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
Tunnel the Mountain

Possibly 1 am optimistic in the ex-
treme," remarked ]. r. Hornady yes
terday, 'but believe that it is only the
matter of few years until we see the
entire residential portion of Birmingham
crowded to overflowing. The town is
simply outgrowing itself.
1.-THE boarding house is the last step
beyond privately owned homes and comes
Immediately before the business house.
Already practically every house in the
heart of Birmingham is filled to capacity
with the young men and young women
who have come here to take their places
in the growing business of this district.
This means that some new ground must
be broken for a new addition. Can one
suggest a more logical place than Shades
valley? A tunnel through the mountain
for both street cars and general traffic
would turn the trick. There is certainly
food for thought in the situation as it
stands today"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02
Henry VIII.

Still, tnihy right hand. carry gentle
peace.
Henry VIII.
* y *
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Ag-Herald viii
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

out at ole Howard they are
eagerly looking forward to the as
sembling of pigs<in punchers, expect
ing to find when the candidates for
the team assemble next week one of
the most promising football squads
Howard ever has had" said Baby"
Haynes. former football star at How
ard, who has been elected coach ut
Carson-Newman college for the COM
ing year. Coach Dillon and other
college officials are optimistic over
the outlook. 1 do not know exactly
who among the old players will re-
turn. but I know of a lot of promising
prep men who will make splendid
material for a speedy team. And in
addition l understand that the line
will be heavier han usual"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1919-09-02

SONG OF REPRESENTATION.
when the frost Is on the punkin
And the folders in the shock"
Therell be time enough for getting
Winter clothing out of hook.