Trench and camp., 1919-01-09
Here's a "Safe" Bet.

The peace conference has already
taken place in some Gillett barber snops
-GiiIett (Ark.) Reporter
Mermaids Do Be!
Miss Margaret Bryan, who has been
the guest of Miss Miranda Douglas, mas
returned to her home in Boyds CTeek-
-Morristown Mail.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The genuine never-to-be-worried Dird
ia the soldier who received four IOun-
tain pens for Christmas and then re-
marked, .'Oh, well, it's all write any
way.
The news that German soldiers are
robbing houses in Berlin is not at all
surprisfng-they doubtless think they
are still in France.
And years hence we will have with us
that tourists guide who will ADJUST the
history of his battles to meet the par
ticular sector in which he happens TO
be assigned.
Did you have too many cordial
greetings? We'll, don't wine about 1t.
Once, because of his ideas about won1-
en-, thought Kipling a fool. Later. be-
thought l was fool. And now, because
we both had the same ideas, 1 know
that both Kipiing and | are fools.
Too bad some of those politicians
couldn't keep a "Brest" of the times.
Some of the Army raincoats are far
from bone dry.
NAT Goodwin almost lost an eye,"
fa1 I. ~wxatw
as much as Nat we wouldn't be 50
particular about just one little eye.
Most privates have a general" idea
about how it should be done.
After you are in the Army few
months you haven't any secrets.
"A fair exchange is no robbery"
fair exchange?
There's quite difference in the
of attention in civil life and
that of the Army. Yes, about two
counts different
Sergt. John Welgoss thoughtlessly
laid his pipe down without hitching it
and it's been A. w. o. l.. ever since
And Meade survived the war with
out having some movie queen for a
godmother.
Charlie Chaplin will find that married
life is no cuStardpie comedy.
Most American soldiers confess that
they didn't master the French con-
versational manual of arms.
Heavy casualties are reported
among New Year resolutionists.
Turn backward. turn backward, O
time in your flight, and make this
pass good for just one more night"
It's a poor rule that won't four
Private Fury has been exiled to the
development battalions
At least those unwilling twelves-
can still count on their hose sup
porters.
Many a soldier has been detained
from going on pass because he failed
to pass with the dice.
1t is to be hoped that Secretary of
the Treasury Glass is of the variety
as poor McAdoo went
broke.
Currant Events: Fruit cake.
Chicago isn't the only city that can
brag about 'em. Meade has it's own
little flock of loop hounds"
II you miss your blanket, just look
around for a Ford. and that is where
you'll probably find it.
McAdoo is now McAdid.
will whisky age in hot-water bot
bottle? Be explicit in vital uues- &
tionnaire like that
The more we see and hear of the
Jazz, the more we wonder why the
D. It's are considered an affiiction. -
When a man is able to describe to
his wife just how some other woman
is dressed he is inviting a request for
to Reno.
Now If somebody will just tell us
what to do with all that fancy ribbon
received wrapped round Christmas
presents, we can clean house.
And not soul sent us purple and
yellow necktie. We weep with joy.
Every one was expecting the kaiser
to beat it to some place with "ll'' in it.
but who would have thought it HoI-
Land.
Our idea of zero in the way of ap-
probation is to offer a conquering hero
the management of the Boston Braves.
The youngsters didn't care so much
for mechanical toys this year. Prob
ably tfred of Fords.