davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
RHYMES
BY WALT MASON
Mary's Lamb.

Whom Mary had her little lamb, existence was a joke;
then people lived on pie and jam, and weren't always broke
The prices then were not so steep as those our markets quote,
ind so a girl could have a sheep, a warthog or a goat. LII mary
had O lamb today, and wished to feed the same, and Went TO
buy a bale Of hay, she'd find the price a shame, Ana ana she ne
would cry, ooh, mutton, dear, the prices freeze my blood; II
YOU can live on atmosphere, methinks your name is Mud; l
gnash my teeth and mourn and weep to see you 60 away Ih put
Marv had her little lamb you'd buy a herd of swine, for what
you now pay for a ham, that's mostly bone and brine. Then
little girls could have their lambs, to trail along behind, and
bobcats, crocodnes and CLANS, and pets of every kind. And
they could have their polar bears, and wolves, and snakes
galore, and build them neat and coy lairs beneath the kitchen
floor. But now a girl would get in wrong itshe with pets should
fool; and Mary takes no lamb along, when she proceeds to
school.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
CABLE WORKS TRUCKS.

Editor EVENING NEWS:
/ read with Interest the controversy
in the EVENING NEWS between Mr..
Walter and Mr.. Wilson, and would
like to ask Mr.. Walters, who is chair
man Of this committee, why the Gable
Works is permitted to run trucks on
our city streets without any license
tags OF any sort? Are the drivers of
trucks licensed? The trucks that
/ refer to are small electric trucks
carrying coils of wire, ETC., along the
r part of Washington street.
her motor vehicle of any kind
ste license. Mr.. Walter.
DsnI have inquired of
vest -rfsh:ee one seems TO
Guth Eiers .a these peo-
Nellie Davis .PesN.,;ossenswsr-
I. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Fire Alarm Boxes

RS--Raritan Copper Works.
kx-Market and Sheridan Street
a5-Smith Street and Central r. II.
s6-Marke> and First Streets.
27-Madison Avenue n Paterson St
as-High and Lewis Streets.
s6-Smith and TIigh Streets.
1e-New Brunswick Ave. and New St
S7-Smith and State Streets.
42-Atlantic Terra Gotta Works
<S-Buckingham Ave. and Hartford st.
46-Commerce and Front Streets.
Estate and Washington. Streets
k4-State St.. and Buckingham Ava
S6-Parker st. and Pulaski Ave
bs-Hall Ave. and ChRles st.
67-State and Wayne StreetA
ks-Near United Lead Works.
by-Maurer.
e2-Washington and First Streae&
s3-Naw Brunswick and Elm St
s4-SiAith Street and Watson Ava
66-Commerce and State Streets.
72-Front and Smith Streets.
7S-Water and Gordon Streets.
74-Kearny W n Gordon Street
61-Brace and Hanson Avenues.
s2-Smith and Herbert Street..
SS-Amboy Ave. Inc Washington st.
s4-Lehigh Ave. and Stanford Street.
t5-Near lily Hospital. =
s6-ClevelaRd and Brace Avenues.
B7-Amboy and Hall Avenues.
s2-Amboy Ave. and Inslee Street.
bs-Lawrence and FrancissStreets.
SI-Neville and tombstone Streets
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
PUBLIC OPINION

OF course the Cable Works is not
the only concern that does this, but
since you are connected with this con-
Germ. possibly you can answer for all.
Last but not least are the men driv-
ing these cars competent drivers for
public thoroughfares? Are they or are
they not required to abide by the state
and city motor traffic rules as other
licensed motor vehicles?
Is there not just as much danger of
accident with these?
Waiting for a public reply and
thanking the EVENING NEWS in adj
anc for space in their paper,
/ remain,
Yours truly.
EDW. p. erode.
p. S. This is not a political move
ment
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Cut This Outfits Worth Money

DON'T MISS THIS. Cut out this slip
enclose with &c and mail 1t to Foley &
Co, 2SS5 Sheffield Ave. Chicago. Ill,
writing your name and address clearly.
You will receive in return a trial pack
age containing Foley's Honey and Tar
Compound. for coughs. colds and croup
Foley Kidney Pills for pain in sides
and back; rheumatism, backache, kid
new and bladder ailments: and Foley
Cathartic Tablets, a wholesome and
thoroughly cleansing ~cathartic. for con-
sluggish bowels. For sale by Barne-
koy g. Petz.-Adv.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
.R1TS OF BY=PLAY

ny LUKE MeLUKE
coDv,iob,. 1919. the Cincinnati Inquirer

Her Thoughts.
"A girl will think a lot" said Ben
She's thoughtful. goodness knows
When she's not thinking about men,
She's thinking about clothes
PoIice!
The Tight Wad placed his money
under the mattress and then cllmpeu
into bed.
"Ah," said the Tight Wad, with a
| sigh of satisfaction. ut is nice to
have some money to fall back on
oh, JOY!
He jumped into a real beer vat
And drank until he was out OF
breath,
| Then sank. But 1 imagine that
Would be a very pleasant death
I'm spite of steel cars, l notice that
we continue to have railway disas-
ters," said the Old Fogy, as he looked
| up from the newspaper he was read
ing.
Yves" commented the Crouch.
"You can get rid of wooden cars, put
It is hard to get rid Of wooden heads
He loved her very much, and when
He thought that he could get her;
| He bought a ten cent fountain pen,
And wrote a gushing letter.
Haw, Haw!
"You Americans are lacking in i'm
agination, old chap" observed the
Engiishman.
rs that sol" replied the American.
why II 1t wasn't for our wonderful
imaginations the patent medicine
manufacturers would starve to
death"
Would Hep Some.
| Here is a quip that Isn't had"
Remarked the wise old Editor;
| at says: We wish a debtor had
A memory like a creditor
He Missed Something.
Leo Tolstoy missed something by
not living In this country. He once
| described his Ideal Woman as one
whose lips were covered with a soft
down.
L HeIpi
George Ehll used to have a kali in
Louisville, and many a time we felt
like going to Ehll for a drink.
HO, Hum!
And A. Buser, of Brooksville, KY,
Is sure out Of luck these days.
Mercy!
The country editors won't stand for
any bull these days. We notice that
most of them refer to male cows in
their columns.
MORAY !
Dear Luke: l am a proud man. To
day had the pleasure of shaking
hands with O man who shook hands
with no less a parsonage han Luke
McLuke.-Dan D.. Milwaukee.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

What has become of the o. I. wife
who used to pay SO for a crayon ell
iargement of a photo Of her 1O-cent
A Corn Fed never uses the buttons
at the top of a waist. She knows ina
the top buttons on a waist are puI
there for girls who are not as wen
built as she Is.
Unless YOU have-Em- .rz0r fotn
Unless Won are a good fighter or a
good runner, do not try to tell the
truth all the time. .
Every time we hear a man signing
for the Good Old Days we think OF
Modern Plumbing and we are quite
satisfied with the present century.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Generally Oeea

Generally Ocea
? Tho trouble with the fellow who u
30 disagreeable that he Says 1t to
your face" is that he is likely to boast
about 1t sfterward.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

The Tight Wad placed his money
under the mattress and then CLIMBED
into bed.
"Ah," said the Tight Wad, with a
sigh of satisfaction. 1T is nice 10
have some money to fall back on.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

"A girl will think a lot" said Ben
She's thoughtful. goodness knows
When she's not thinking about men,
She's thinking about Clothes
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
, vrrrps FOR PUBLICATION

Tte EVENING NEWS is glad TO pun
fish letters from its readers. put .na
cases the name and address o.
writer must be signed to the the S S9men viii
cation. When requ@ Hniess personalities
are INDUCED In.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
ubat,m va Have?

WhatH va IIH'Ur are n
Digestion and Fermentation
and the same process nercent-
Nature ,o "I, SO that the organs OF
a tbe body will fu~nctuate properly Either
'iT To help nature you must
drink beer or eat sugar. t. almost
You can't get beer. and II Is INV
impossible to get sugar:
What are you gonnadoF
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

He jumped into a real beer vat,
And drank until he was out ol
breath,
Then sank. But l imagine that
Would be q very pleasant death.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

A Fruitful Topic.
He brags about his ancestry,
ne Does pompous Mr.. Demm4n;
res nlain to me his family uee
PRODUCED at ~ Luke McLuke.
But when his daughter Maude l So'
Parading on the beach, IA +raa
1t + Produced at least one peach,
springfield (Mass.) Union
And when his twins SO winsomeiY
stroll forth to take the ar.
Won win agree that wondrous uee
Produced at least one pair. e.or
We do not like to give offense
TO Demmon's family, but
We think that he is evidence
The tree produced a nut'oo+a
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Wifi!

I'm spite of steel cars I notice that
we continue to have railway disas-
ters," said the Old Fogy, as he looked
up from the newspaper he was read
ing.
YES" commented the Crouch.
"You can get rid of wooden cars, but
1t is hard to get rid Of wooden heads
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

Leo Tolstoy missed something by
not living In this country. He once
described his Ideal Woman as one
whose lips were covered with a soft
down.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
HeIpi

George Ehll used to have a kali in
Louisville, and many a time we felt
like going to Ehll for a drink.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
What?

What has become OF the G!uo 80 hia
toned man who used the paI IN 9g1re
s ort wbat was coming to him when
he got through the JOB!
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

Would Hep Some.
Here is a quip that isn't had"
Remarked the wise old Editor;
ut says: we wish a debtor had
A memory like a creditor
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

Our DAI.N SPVOTu'
Some Men Do Nothing But Second
the Notion,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Haw, Haw!

you Americans are lacking in i'm
agination, old chap" observed the
Engiishman.
Us that sol" replied the American.
""Why If 1t wasn't for our wonderful
imaginations the patent medicine
manufacturers would starve 10
DEATH"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04
Cushing.

He loved her very much, and when
He thought hat he could get her;
He bought a ten cent fountain pen,
And wrote a gushing letter.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

. corn Fed girl, mere man observes
can't pitch ball, that's agreed;
For, while she has a lot OF CURVES
one A" Luke McLuke.
The Corn Fed never packs her sllP'
(T can't let this escaPe) +r,n
To get herself in shape.
Detroit Free Press.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-11-04

And A. Buser, of Brooksville, X
Is sure out of luck these days.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Drink Hot Water
Before Breakfast
Says you really feel clean,
sweet and fresh. INSIDE,
and are seldom Ill.

II YOU are accustomed TO wake up
with a coated tongue. foul breath or
a dull, dizzy headache: or, IL your
meals sour and turn into gas and
acids, YOU have a real surprise await
ing you.
Tomorrow morning. Immediately
upon arising. drink a glass OF hoj
water with a tes-spoonrul OF lime
stone phosphate in il. This is intend-
cd to first neUtrslize and then wash
out OF your stomach, liver. kidneys
and thirty feet OF intestines all the
indigestible waste, poisons, sour bile
and toxins, thus cleansing. sweeten-
ing and purifying the entire ali
mentsry canal
Those subject 20 sick headache
backache, bilious attacks. constips
uon or any form OF stomach trouble.
are urged TO get quarter-poUnd OF
limestone phosphate from the drug
store and begin enjoying this morn
ing inside bath. 1t is said that men
and women who try this become en-
thusiastic and keep it Up daily. j
is a splendid health measure for II
is more important 20 keep clean and
pure on the inside than on the out
side, because the skin pores do not
absorb impurities into the blood. caus-
ing disease, while the bowel pores do.
The principle OF bathing INSIDE Is
not new. as millions Of people practice
IL. Just as hot water and soAp cleanse
purify and frcshen the skin. so hot
water and a teaspoonful OF limestone
phosphate act on the stomach. liver.
kidneys and bowels. Limestone phos-
phate is an inexpensive white powder
and almost tasteless-Adv.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
LEAGUE OBJECT
TO DELAY WAR
Senator Hitchcock Ex,
plains How Armament
VIII Be Cut Down.

Before the members OF the Political
Study Club. Senator Hitchcock, OF
Nebraska, yesterday afternoon eN-
planned the constitution Of the league
OF nations at the regular monthly
meeting at the home Of Mrs. Wesley
Martin Stoner. l527 Rhode Island ave
nue. northwest
The league OF nations is q court
Of arbitration" said the speaker.
This great conference board Is
not created to prevent war, but rather
10 avert it as long as possible. There
are two procedures in the constitu-
tion Of the league OF nations. One
is that the case be submitted 10 ar
bitration. the other that II go before
A court of inquiry. In both cases
three months must elspse between the
time the decision is rendered by the
official board and war is declared. This
postponement of the warfare. 1t was
felt, would give time for considera-
ton"
Senator Hitchcock said the league
will decide as TO the armament the
nations would have. and that in the
future the cards OF war would be
on the table" He also explained that
it was the plan Of the league to
abolish all private manufacture OF
armaments and that all munitions
would be made by the governments
themselves on a basis OF mutual un-
derstanding
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08

away. = All his friends are helping
him and expect to get a ride.
Herman Hitz has been transferred
from the Library to the Job section.
Now that the fishing season has
opened. William !. Reed is expected
to distribute the fish he so lavishly
promised last fall.
Mrs. Thornton and Mrs. Sheehan
are absent from the machine sewing
room, suffering with influenza
Clay Jones came around Thursday
night and allowed the boys to inspect
his new Lexington car. He is sta
toned at the Brighton Hotel and do
ing very well. thank you.
First double play in the ruling and
sewing room yesterday: Paymaster to
Freeman to Barrett. All in one
breath, too. Now for the War Savings
Stamps.
Jim Mann says he doesn't like
these pay-asyou-enter cars Why,
Jim. can you get on them to pay a
fare?
Mrs. Mary Jarvoe, the newly-wed OF
the ruling and sewing section. has
been doing a lot of shopping lately.
She Just can't induce hubby TO spend
the money.
Steve Harder will be one of the
chief singers at a concert by the
Apollo Club under the direction of
otto Simon. Some singer, this Teller
Harder.
Frank Lanham is off today for some
more housecleaning. At least that is
what he said he was going to do.
John l. Kelly Is absent from the
keyboard room because of the illness
of his wife.
Jarvis Moulton and Stephen +. Wal
ton. detailed TO the proof section for
several months, are back in the job
section
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08

| New York. March THE greai
war developed very few of the typt
of the adventurers that L. Phillips
Oppenheim sprinkled through his
mystery yarns. Mr.. oppenheim':
female spies always happened to'bt
| seated in gilt and old rose cafe
surrounded by the syncopated blasts
OF theejaGz and stately palms. They
wore silken black gowns. the Gains.
borough hat and a pint or so OF
pearls and had sleeping, tiger-like
eyes.
But in real life in the worlds So
ries just ended only one of that type
developed The others were hectic
fat chested and their outlook upon
life was drab. The single exception
was Nine. Marie X. de Victoria, who
suited the role even to her name.
Mime. Marie was a stunning blonde
chemical but smart looking. Her
lips were always rouged properly
and her carmine splashed cheeks
gave the Lroper dash one would ex-
pect to a spyess's complexion. She
lived at the Ritz and at the Nassau
at Long Beach, where walking by the
! sad sea waves she wormed govern
mental secrets out of khaki clad
striplings.
She was a vampire and the kind
one would like to chase from Paris
to London, to st. Petersburg and al
the other places where the spyess
used to be trailed in the best sellers
in the pre-war days
In New York she moved almost
every other day. She had the most
ingenious methods of lodging hel
pursuers and they were always hot
on the trail. OF course she wa.
caught and she now rests in the
Tombs-stiIl arrogant and defiant.
Nine. Marie. was a drug addict, re-
quiring ten grains of morphine G
day at least. Deprive her of hel
drug and she babbled like a child
became hysterical and sometimes
violent and when the great govern.
ment net closed about her the frs
thing that was done was to shut OF
her supply of morphine. 1t WASH
long before she began to tell all.
She came to New York direct
from Wilhelmstrasse. She had had
the stately roll that Wilson Miznei
speaks of as tripping a greyhound
en- passant. Half pints of wine
washed down her breakfast. > Hei
cigarettes, monogrammed with hel
crest, came direct from the Cars
cigarette maker in Petrograd. She
had charge accounts at all the
smart shops and the beauty experts
had carte blanche. 1t was a great
life while 1t lasted-but it didn't
last long.
The Rev. DR.. Charles A. Eaton
pastor OF the Madison Avenue Bap-
tist Church, was aroused recently
by a reporter. who at the hour oi
formation from him by telephone.
rs this the Rev. DR.. Eaton?'
queried the newspaper man.
Until a minute ago" came the
reply. this was the Reverend Doc.
tor sleepin'. I wish you men
wouldn't call me up at this hour
Two returned soldiers were chin.
ming in the shadow OF the Times
Building. One OF them said: Say
Billy. 1 went into a saloon today
and met an awfully sweet girl ]
know"
Go away" replied the other.
Sure thing. She's one of the fin-
est girls l ever knew. Met her ir
France. She's with the Salvation
Army and she was collecting funds
in her tambourine."
"Oh," said his buddie.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
W0MEN'S FARM
union FORMED
Twenty-eight Become Char
ter Members at Home of
Mrs. Ransome.

Twenty-eight farmerettes, who last
year helped the Maryland and Vir-
ginia farmers harvest their crops,
last night organized permanent
"Farmerette Club" al a meeting in
the home Of Mrs. F.. L. Ransome,
1877 Belmont street northwest.
Plans were formulated for the orga-
nization to obtain a twenty -five-acre
farm within committing distance of
Washington where government en-
ployes coyld work early morning and
late evening hours.
1t was announced that farmers will
be supplied with women workers this
year. through headquarters women's
Land Army of America, 1410 Pennsyl-
vania avenue.
Mrs. William H. Hubert. Federal di-
rector of the Women's Land Army,
said the work of the organization
would in no way conflict with the em-
ployment of jobless discharged SOL
diers.
Miss Marie Baker, last season as
sistant supervisor of the Broad Creek
Unit, presided at the meeting.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Our Town.
BY EDMUND VANCE COOKE

l say town is pretty good town
And nobody needs to doubt it,
And the item it lacks cinch its crown
Is poet to tell about it.
Our town has good earth under its feet
And a good, blue sky above it.
Ii has work to do it has friends to meet
And know that of US love it.
Its arms are strong and its hearts are light
And its heads not all bone, ->..
For some, though you may not believe it quite,
Are almost good as your own.
And if there's goal which we may not reach
Well learn to be happy without it,
But we want the song and we need the speech
OF the poet to tell about it.
Why, what would you know of the towns of Greece
Or the doings of ancient Rome
If Homer had choked on his little piece
Or Virgil had knocked his homcY -
So when performance is staged complete
And we're aching TO sing and shout it.
Let's be sure 10 reserve one front aisle seat
For poet tell about III
Copyright IefsA -
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
POLICE TO INVESTIGATE
SCHOOLMATES' ATTACK
Disease Developed After Lad Had
Been Kicked.

Following an attack by schoolmates
at the Pierce School, u-year-old Ju.
Illus Keller, of 1861 H street northeast
was brought to Sibley Hospital
Thursday afternoon, suffering from
acute appendicitis.
An operation yesterday by DR.. VIII.
lam A. Jack. is thought to have
placed the patient on the road to re.
covery.
Police will make a thorough fnvesti.
cation of the alteration today. From
information already secured by The
Ninth precinct. the boy is believed to
have been kicked in the stomach
causing a congestion of the intestina
tract, and leading to an irritation OF
the appendix.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
DR.. SIMON TELLS WHY
HE OPPOSES ZIONISM
Says New Nation Has Called for
Erpstrates.

NO power and no nation has
ever been known TO invite people
o. other countries 10 eEpatriate
themselves as the new Zionist nH-
tion is planning to do" declared
Rabbi Abrsm Simon last night.
speaking at the Eighth Street Tenn
pie. on Why ] Am Not a Zionist" d"
Religion" he added, has 10
place on the entire Zionist program
Tor the reconstruction. Education.
agriculture ana other things are
included. but none is possible with
out religion.
The Zionists say tho proposed
new land will make the Jews in
dependent" he added. but how ca n
a man be independent when ho
does not own his land2 The Ara hs
own almost all OF the land in PalCs-
tine"
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Father of Crane Boy Sues
Standard Oil for $4,000

Charles Crane. y years Of age,
through his father. William Crane,
sued the Standard Oil Company. yes
terday. for S25OoO damages.
Mr.. Crane alleges that the oil COM
pany was negligent in allowing his
son TO climb up on an oil wagon and
attempt to drive the three mules
The boy fell off, 1t is charged. and
was run over. sustaining a fractured
skull. The accident happened October
y, 1918. Attorneys Potbury. White and
Wheatley represent Mr.. Crane.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Air Brakes for D. E. Cars.

The Washington Railway and
Electric Company agreed to waive
it's right, to a public hearing before
the Public Utilities Commission and
will install air brakes on all double
truck cars before October 1. 1918.
The Capitol Traction Company has
made a similar agreement in con-
formity with the recommendations
Of traffic expert Beeler.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Big Bond Issue Voted
By Alabama County

Macon. Ga, March, 7.-UnofficiaI re-
turns early today point to an over
whelming majority, in favor of the
proposed s1.15O,OoO bond issue for roads,
bridges, new school houses and a new
county court house, which was voted
upon in Bibb County yesterday. Tabu-
lated figures so far show that not
moEs than 100 votes were cast against
the proposition.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
Belgian Minister Leaves
To Attend Celebration

By request of his government, Bel
gian Minister z. de Cartier has left
for Brussels to be present during the
celebrations in honor of the forthcom-
ing visit of President Wilson to King
Albert, the Belgian Official Bureau
announced yesterday.
During his absence, Charles Symon,
councillor of the legation, will act as
Charge d'Ahaires.
The Washington herald., 1919-03-08
A LINE O. CHEER .
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR.
BY John Kendrick Bangs.
MODELLING.

When Woe comes stalking near
Imperiling my cheer.
1 bear IL asI must,
And view its painful thrust
As might a marble block
That bears the hammer-shock
OF him who fashions there
a bit of sculpture rare,
And patient wait to see
What's to be made of me,
And what life's modelling
Out of my soul will bring.
Copyright, 1871