South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-03-02
MAN IN THE STREET

OF public works Notwithstanding
his multifarious duties ne is immune
10 worry; and besides being one OF
the handosemst men in the northern
part OF the stale. is at all times most
gracious. he is big physically. as
In every other respect. and his name
assures success 10 any undertaken
to which II is attached. His public
works job gives him that fun and
recreation necessary 20 sustain life.
while IL also creates relaxation and
takes him out Of himself once a
week at any rate. A. d. has never
had a Photographic taken: but II the
reader can imagine a splendid type
Of an All-American citizen-well A.
D. Warner sis it."
An Ohio man who became the
father Of bankruptcies last year and
wanted 10 commit suicide new sees
a great light He gets a $500 in
come exemption for each one Of
them.
One can find much encouragement
TO live on and work hard by drop
ping in at the undertaker's and
pricing his line Of goods and serv-
ices.
Some crazy statstician has ascer-
tanned that the coolies killed a mil
lion people during the war. Con-
hdentially. we believe in this in
stance ne has lied. Almost any
oveaseas soldier will tell you ne
/ killed several million coolies and
was merely scratched himself.
We do not like|to borrow trouble.
but we are frightfully afraid that
while we are making Europe safe
for democracy the party will lose
every postofIice in the United States.
We heard OF a Mishawaka woman
giving up her job TO a returned sol
der the past week. The soldier
ought to be gallant enough TO marry
the woman.
Some one says soon there will not
he any more spirits. Somehow or
another the Lord failed TO give US
the quality Of cruduelity that en-
ables men TO believe anything. We
have always suspected that human
I Ingenuity was equal TO human cir
convention.
Erzberger says plainly that Ger
many viii get even when the oppor-
tunity comes. Forewarned is fore
armed. Gentlemen of the confer
ence. turn on a little more pressure
and sprinkle on a little high life.
Indiana reported earthquake
shocks the other day. Could a gas
explosion have occurred in some Of
the underground viaducts connect
ing Kentucky and this state to ia
cilitate the cause of liberty?
You can't increase church at
tendance on Sunday by closing
things. The way to do it is. work
on the fellows inside and make him
want to go, instead OF on his out
side
/ If Germany can keep her propa-
ganda going long enough 10 get the
United states trying TO dictate to
I Great Britain about ireland. she
may find II possible TO save some
thing out of the situation at Yer
\ sailles.
| tt is said American women wear
| $50. 600. 900 worth of corsets a year.
The funny part of it is, they used
to wear S25,00O,O00 worth until
they had the upper half of the
/ things omitted, and then the price
/ doubled.
A Commute kiss appears In a
breach OF promise suit in New
/ York. There is no such thing as a
Commute kiss. Lips would either
grow together or rip all the hide
off in the breakaway. such nature
taking is detestable.
The Toledo Blade says father is
Of less importance than bride
4 groom at a wedding That's all
right This sort Of indifference is
not always unwelcOme. IL gives the
old scout many little splatches Of
freedom that he might not other
wise obtain.
still. most OF the roar about con-
ditions in France comes from men
I'm this country who want Office and
not from the men who went over
and took things as they came, and
came 10 the scratch whenever the
guns began TO shoot and the coolies
began 10 coot
The effects Of prohibition are be-
coming manifest in South Carolina.
I Miss Lillian Boozer OF Gaffney has
married. and viii De something else.
A droughty Mishawakan wants TO
know if there is a good road be
tween Detroit and Toledo. and what
are the directions We think the
road must be worn out by now. As
for directions just follow the crowd.
The ticker is en- Toled
Patsey Brannigan. who describes
himself as "a friend OF the irish
and every other decent man. p
writes thusly. 'Iaddie. #. as Ser.
Hagertv saws. there Is no sunshine