The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1919-05-15

Ho S sp,nach) . and
why spinach has been so scarce a,
the stores-almost impossible to &c,
mess of green's. But the secret il
out at last-some woman (of counsel
read that spinach was great com
/ plexion beautifier. She told others
Result? Just what you might eN-
pect--"complexions must be pre-.
served What does it matter ii VIC
men who. eat spinach because We
like it) have to 60 hungry?
will build 'em-Ford? No, you have
another guess comm. Ford has
never built car yet.
The reason | would rather listen
to graphaphone than to most pub
lie singers is that l can always stop
the graphaphone when it makes me
tired.
Death of Cats Puzzling. No
Cause Found for Unusual Number OF
Fatalities Among Animals"-A large
number of deaths among cats the
last week has puzzled health author
tiles. Inspectors sent to investigate
were unable to find the cause. No
disease is prevalent among the ami
mails, according to the Inspectors
X. G. Star. Along about young
chicken time, quite few fatalities
occur among cats out in my barn
yard and | always attribute it to lead
poisoning
Millionaires dixie Ford cars and
lngersoll dollar watches) are gettin'
to be SO common nobody cares any
thing about 'em.
Some years ago hesitated wheth-
er to become a millionaire or Presi-
dent of the United States and while
! was hesitatin' somebody got both
jobs. Verify the man who hesitates
is not only lost, but fool as well.
! was talkin' to an old timer a few
days ago and incidentally remarked
that times had changed quite bit in
the past few years. Yes" he re-
Piled Times have share changed.
Why" said he, "a few years ago we
used to go out and kill rabbits for
fun" Sure" answered. and now
-?' We'll. now says he, with
hawgs at zoe per, we go out and kill
rabbits for meat.
If had my choice whether some
one should pray for me or send me 4
nice pork roast, ding my buttons, ii
] don't believe I'd take chance on
bein' happy Tin the sweet suisse
quently) and tell EN- to bring in the
pork
What Stray Swarm OF Bees
Done so Years Ago"--Headline. !
didn't read the story, SO don't know
what they did. But | have a very
vivid recollection of what nest OF
big husky yaller humble bees lin a
patch OF clover) did to ME along in
the summer of SO.
Some one pleads for more simplic-
ity in the home. BY golly, they
should visit (briefly) at OUR house.
We are led upon simplicity. It's
about all we have to brag of or to
show folks when they drop in. We
are shore long on simplicity OF the
very simplest kind.
All this talk about putin tax ON
luxuries don't disturb my peaceful
slumbers none a'tall. All the luxury
lay claim to is "Fordilac' worth
about $1,000 and today just finished
payin' 5000 tax on it. SO my
Luxurious" taxes are all paid. Go
on away trouble, | fear you no more.
Asked why the Ford is dubbed the
Universal Car | replied. Because
the folks who buy EN- are too un;-
versally poor to buy any other.
Me? Oh, yes, I'm universalst too.
Quite few people are able to at
ford Dodge, but only few are
able to dodge Ford twhen it gets
goin.)
I'm really glad it's locust year
For style | will not lack,
For nearly all the clothes wear
Are splitting up the back.
Here's something some OF you
didn't know. The first cattle were
brought to America by Columbus OH
his second trip to (Missouri). P. S.
Il think ! bought two-bits worth OF
steak off OF the hip of one OF these
cows last week.
SHOULD a Woman Get a Mans |
Pay:'- eadline. Whether she
should or not, the fact remains, she
gets it.
read in a paper that horse meat
is apt to be tough because it is
never used for (eatin' purposes) only |
when said boss is good for nothin
else. And opine that a cow is
never used for beef for the same rea-
son, or until she is too ancient to
give milk.
1t Is said that parrot uses its left |
claw to pick up 4 cracker and that
- IL I'LL
victim. Mebbe SO. Now my father
used an AK left-handed, but when
wieldin' a strap or single Con mel
he always used his right hand. Gee,
how well / remember.
Possum up gum stump
Raccoon in the holler
When we go a-fishin' now
We have to pay dollar.
lawful, awfuD
--..7..<zQ~I