Trench and camp. [volume] (Augusta, Ga.) 1917-1919, 1919-01-29

Groans and concentrations emanate
from Ward u Is Captain Bason neg
lecting his PATIENTS Are bones refusing
to knit? Has the mess changed for the
worse2 No! IN answer 10 every one Of
those questions No.
What then Is responsible for the mani
fest distress? why. Ward Master Beau
Brummel Matthes is getting his aIs-
charge. Next Monday he bids us adieu
and leaves Us to our gold bricktuk or
bone Matching as the case may bs--and Is
he sorry to leave US? He Is not sorry.
He is doiling himself UP like a member
Of a Modern Woodmen uniform drill team
and he babbles incoherently Of open fire
4 places, brandy and sodas, square meals,
etc. just as though ne never served any
/ time at the Base Hospital.
| For he is going to the rubber city
| Akron, Ohio not the city Of tears. but
| the city Of tires. whore he may again
| join forces with Goodrich, where prior to
| the days he has been deVoting to the
crushing Of autocracy, he held sway over
| the service department
Arthur Matthes was a good ward mas
| ter To begin with he ha sa sense OF hu-
NOR an dthat rare faculty Of mixing
common sense with regulations in a
\ way to even satisfy the boys OF the
| broken bone" brigade.
| We're glad you have your discharge
! but hate to see you go, Matt. But the
| law Of compensation steps in and what
| Ward y loses, Akron gains,
Sgt stevens Of the Cavalry, is back
/
us. He is among friends in Ward u.
| He was here long enough for the nurse to
| become familiar with his eccentricities.
| Yes he has them but she not only became
| acquainted wit hthem but tolerated them,
| She must have told the nurse in Ward
| II about her find, because she, too seem
cd TO find him an interesting specimen.
| Some say steve doesn't want to get
well However. we don't believe in cir
culating idle rumors.
/
! tors Supply Company, is proving to be a
| very interesting case in Ward u. lie is a
| little worried now as to the length OF
| his fracture. in some fashion he saw the
| chart Of his case and he thinks It was
| marked Fracture onc-siXth Of an inch.
| He says IL could have been intended for
! sixteen inches and he iS not sure
''Fox! Oh, Fox" (He wants plaster
| cast.)
Doe Hcyman Pododsick is a living ex-
| ample if the marvels Of medical science,
/ He now twirls cane d la Charley Chap
! lin and no longer lies awake nights fig
uring on how his beneficiaries should in
| vest his insurance. Doc had simple frac-
| ture Of the left neither limb and great
| hopes are now held out for his recovery.
II can't walk without the cane"
Sgt c. C. Grouse has evolved a meth
| cd for Strengthening stiff arms that he
| thinks beats the messages suggested by
| Captain Bacon, Every night you can
! see MN Juggling n couple OF WnitB cUDe8,
| These bones are not easily fractured.
| And here Is n little tip for the girls
| down town. Grouse talks in his Sleep
| sometimes in a most illumnatiyc manner.
| Co beware beWare
Who is it that would rather sleep a lit
tle lSte than 70 go after the morning
| disappointment" in the mess halle
Who is it that hastens one lady away.
so that he may properly receive the next
fair visitor Who is it that Augusta 5
fairest delight to bring swectmeats and
tidbits to?
Dear reader let us MISUNDERSTANDING
Herr.
Eddie STAYS out late at night and spends
| the next day reading
Schopenhauer-He says that Schoppy
must have been drunk when he wrote
i that essay on women"
Regimental Supply Sergeant Immersion