The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-11-25
Father Buys Hand Assembled
Fliuuer, Then Fun Begins
(Pem in Kansas City Starr

EtIVUc5S UeI U5s DC6A"S
(Pem in Kansas City Starr
He said he never would do 1t. but
he did
He'd never be troubled with motor.
tits, but he Is.
Never put his foot on the pedal Of
a car, but he has; and on all three
break, reverse and low--at the same
time.
And father said further that II he
ever should change his mind. he'd
buy a car, not tin shop" as he
called our next door neighbours car.
For several days we'd heard father
say a kind word or so about cars. This
happened after telling US Of riding
downtown several mornings in a jit
ney-the first we knew of his ever be-
ing in a car.
Well, sir, last Friday morning We
noticed a car pass our house With two
people in 1t. One OF them was father,
the other an Instructor. They passed
the house twice, but never stopped or
looked our way.
About o'clock that afternoon
mother and l heard a peculiar grind
ing noise out in front. not unlike that
made by a car in distress We looked
cut and there was father in car
alone, pulling first with his hand and
finally. with the car uttering q groan
as he slapped on the break too sud
denly. he came to stop nearly in
front of our house.
Father didn't appear at all worried,
although he had committed murder by
killing the engine when he stopped.
lie stepped out just as we came to
the door and said as calmly as you
please:
Well, how do you like her."
He wanted us to get right in and
take a spin over the bou;evards, but
mother took a sudden heatia ,ha, and
tell you the reason l di1n't go. I was
afraid. Fathe. Is buUheadeo, and
knew he would run that car or bust.
could see. too. that mother was
ashamed Of the car. Father had
bought a car Of thu vintage o. 1919 or
had told him 1t had the best engine in
town. being hand built combination
Of the years 1914, 1916 ard 1918.
Father was up with the birds Sat
urday morning and away, as he said,
for nice quiet spin among the trees,
the clover and the bees. DER country
roads and lanes. He cranked and
ranked and cranked some more;
still Lizzie wouldn't start. Neighbor
Stevens came out. asked father If he
needed any help. Father said the
engine was Just a little frosty and
would start in moment. 1t didn't.
though until Mr.. Stevens turned on
The spark. Still father looked wise
got in, looked where to put his feet
and prepared to take a jump. After
killing the engine seven times he was
off with a snort and smoking at the
rear like volcano in trouble.
About 3 o'clock father called up out
at Twenty-ninth and Wabash and sa id
he might be late for supper, as he had
run into another car mot his fault)
and was waiting for repairs.
Well, father did get home for sup
per and the car looked but little worse
on account of the accident One
wheel had TO be replaced also a tire :;
the downspout on the northeast cor
ner was badly bent and the caves on
the same side battered and twisted
After two weeks of these maneuv-
crs father seemed as earnest to break
his neck as ever; has bought heavy
overcoat, a pair of driving gloves and
We heard him telephoning about tire
chains; so it seems he is going to
stick to it through the winter.
Chronology to date:
tranked for ten minutes without
starting; neignhor asked him II he
had any gas. He had none.
Attempted TO run with his feet on
all three pedals al once.
Cranked himself red in the face
before switching on the coil box.
Killed Il chicken on Blue Ridge
boulevard.
Ran over dog at Independence and
Blue.
Locked the steering scar, turning
around five times in a turnip patch
before getting car under control.
Hit 4 man at filling station at Fiji
tecnth and Pas"O.
Ran into another car at Twenty
ninth and Wabash.
Iii; H. III" Met a. Sixteenth and
Tro0.t.
Father ~a'I AL ho needs to com
p!ote hi, imitation is 4 broken arm.