davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
SOLVE SERVANT PROBLEM
bv STEALING COOK

DALLAS, TexsA--TM demand for
cooks, or rather the demands the
cooks make upon those who are H.
nancially able 10 employ one, has DE-
veleped Z new species Of crime in this
city. Stealing cooks 10 the very latest
method adopted in Dallas for solv-
ing the servant problem. flIis Smith
was the first one 20 attempt TO steal
cook. He was unsuccessful, and az
a result is charged with another OF
tense.
One nigk recently, 50 the cook
says, Smith crept up 10 the back
porch, made his way into the kitchen,
pointed a pistol at her and told her "a
come with him. where she would do
cooking in the future. She screamed
and the family ran into she kitchen
Smith wen, away without the cook
and the following day was chsrget
with carrying 4 pistol. The cook II
question i, a negress and the lady ON
ploying her says she is the best cool
In the neighborhood.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Sinners melt At her meetings just
like shavings in a furnace Of fire"
Luke NcLuke Gays.


Why is it that q meek little paper
weight husband is expected to fight
the battles Of an aggressive heavy
weight wiiei
Anyway, q girl would rather marry
the wrong man than run the risk oi
not getting married al all
And the cost OF living wasn't such
much in the old days when folks
were satisfied with iron-rmmed specs
tha. cost Is cents, and didn't have
to have the belladonna eject that
cost SIS
We never could understand why II
takes barber twice as long 10 trim
a bald-headed mans dome as il does
to trim a head Of real hair.
II they can prohibit liquor why
can't they prohibit ki.sinsi Kissing
has caused a heap more trouble than
liquor
Men like to CAB about how sossipy
womenears But any man who isn't
a monumental liar will have 10 admit
the, he is more or less sossipy him
self.
Another mystery is what becomes Of
the wealth Of hair a woman had five
years ago wkn she was first mar
ried. ~
1t doesn't hurt 20 tell the truth
once in while, Many mans liquor
bill is twice as big now as II Was be-
fore prohibition hit us.
A reporter ISN'T hypoerite. But
i, is his business TO act enthusiastic
abou, a lot Of things that do not in-
tcrest him in the least.
The maddcst prohbi,ionis. in the
country lives in West Virginia A
! boy mstook the moor mans nose for
red bird and took shot at him.
Aud wha, Mas become OF the old
! fashioned tad who used to sing
Over the Garden Wall;'
All women do not want husbands.
The only kind who want husbands
are those who have none.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Doctor Tells How To Strengthen
Eyesight so per cent In One
Weeks Time In Many Instances

tIons may be wonderfully bensHted by
follc wing the simple rules. Here Is tho
prescription; 60 TO any active drus
store and get a hottie OF Bon-Opto tab
lets. Drop one Bon-Opto tablet IN u
fourth Of n glass OF water. and allow
to dissolve. With this liquid hattie tho
eyes two to four times daily. You
should notice your eyes clear up per
csptibly right from the start and IN
flammation will quickly disappear, II
your eyes are bothsrinG you. even
little, take steps 10 save them nov he
fore II Is too lata. Many hopelessly
blind might have bssn saved " they
had cared for their eyes In time.
Note: Another prominent physician 70
whom the above article was submitted.
said: Bon, ,opto IL y very remsrksbis
remedy. Its constituent ingredients Grs
vslI known 10 sminsnt eve specialists snd
wiasly prsscribsd by them. Tho msRS-
faotursrs guarantee Il to strengthen eye
sight 70 percent 10 one sesk's time y
many Instances or refund the money. j,
can be obtained from any good druygis'
and 10 one of the very few preparations
! feel should he kept 90 hand ~ rssvie,
USE in almost every family" J 10 sold
by the Wsstfaii DraE Co and other drus
gists. tAdv.)
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
5000 SEE BODY
|0F CONGRESSMAN
Funeral Services for Thomp-
son at Pauls Valley,

PAuLS WILEY, Okla. Sept. a.
--tSpscial More than 5000 person.
attended burial services for the late
Congressman Joseph B. Thompson,
held Yesterday afternoon. During the
less than an hour and half the body
lay in state at the Garvin county
courthouse NOR. than $500 persons
iiled cast,
At $50 O'Clock a brief service vas
held st the home Of the late congress.
man AS Rev. r, l. Owenby assisted
v Rev. 7. n. Hartman Of the Pres
hyterisn ehuNh. Representative Scott
Ferris and Ailas Lasater each spoke
briefly during the service. The body
was buried =, I O'Clock in the pauls
Valley cemetery with iull MASONIC
ceremonies. An airplane flew over
the cemetery.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
MEN LIKE OLD REGIMENT
so THEY RE.EMltST

JUNCTION CITY. Kan. - Evil
IDENTIFY the ex-member OF the Sew
cn,h division, a regular unit, like
the service. The division is beins
demobiired here, So many Of the
men have re-enlisted that something
Ike A70 officers have been ordered
held here TO command the rcorgan-
ized units now being formed, Prac-
ticaIy hall of those re-enlsting are
going back into their old units.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
CORPUS CHRISTI
TOTAL DEAD 500
Total Storm Toll Estimated
TO Be 1000.

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas. Sept
3 a The official reports of the Corms
Christi relief committee now places
the total death lis, at from 500 TO
200 Several prominent persons have
estimated the total dead at 1000
however.
r W Wolling . prominent bu.i-
ness man of Austin, who LETT Corpus
Christi today after futile search for
the body OF his brother in-law, A. b.
Clarkson OF Corpus Christi, stated
that the total dead in the Texas gull
storm, arc from 200 TO 5000, Woll-
ing said l,S00 bodies had been buried
IN trenches around the shores Of
Nueces bay He said a party OF
which he was member buried iifty
unidentified bodies N one trench,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Italy Fears
Nation With
D'Annunzio
Story Spreads That President
Blocks Settlement Of
of fiume.

PARIS, Sept. 24-At Italian peace
headquarters here las, night the stu.
alton in Italy was frankly described
as serious Though it is asserted the
Nit,i governmen, held the whip hand,
no doubt is left ma, the whole coun-
try is opposed to the mnis,ry's dil-
tory policy and is backing Gabrielle
d'Annunzo to the end
Italian officials took pains TO en-
phasire in conversation with Amerl-
can newspaper men that, in their
opinion, a large share Of the respon
sibility for possible grave events in
Italy will rest with President Wilson
for the story continues TO he spread
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
72.yEAR. D HUBBY IS
NOT lAZI, SAYS JUDGE

INDIANAPOLIS. J d.--LaEy hus-
bands who have passed their three
score and twelve mark ere finding
consolation in q decision Of Acting
Judge ]. J, Mot, in city court. John
william Beli's 0-year-old wife COM
planned thM M J2-year-old spouse
was larry. The court held that a man
Of those ycws cap hardly b classed
a, 4 lazy hssban1 end took the case
under advisemsra.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
APPLES.

APPLES.
One little apple, hanging on 4 tree
Evs said to Adam, "Havs 4 bite with ms7"
Sure" said the serpent, With 4 baieful glance
Don't be = frsid-eat,' better take . chance"
Adam ate the apple, fresh off the limb
Fond and foolish Adaml That finished him
Nor little appieL hanging % . boSsh
Little Willie ate some; 90 did the COW.
Both sooa discovered something wasn't right
The vet and the doctor labored all that aight.
Vet hurried homeward, At the peep Of dawn
Willie had q narrow squeak, but the Gov psssed on
More little apples, dear old Uncle 81
Billed in the bisr when the state went dry.
Yel some 70 the Deacon; nice old man but frsii
Nsv the Dssson's doiaS twenty days 10 istl
laiAwin, Russst BeIiflovsr, Grsvenstsin or Pip
Apples. Oh ny bro(Asr, have aA awful zip!
tCopyright, 1919. He'll Syndicate Incl
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Write Your Own Autumn Pome
Ourhl

"Mr. Slick always says the right
thing a, the right time, doesn't he =
said Ms Gush.
"Yes," agreed Mr.. Sharp "He Is
one OF the most accomplished liars |
know Of"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Ho. Huni

wilmington Ncws-J JournaD
Luke NcLukc say, the gas meter
'oil, not, but gosh how i, can spin !
Bu, the fellow that puts up Tor the
gas meter has ,1 toll and spin both
faster than the metcr can
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
DON'T OVERDO
OR OVERHEAD


NOWATA. Okla.-Ar w. b. Daw-
son, Of this place. says 81 have known
Of Black -Drausht ever since can
remember, aud of oil the liver medic
ines ] ever used. lack-Draught is
without doubt the best We would not
k without !, in the house.
u used TO take pills and different
things, but after taking . course Of
strong medicine would be lef, In
cons,ipated condition. and would need
then to use a laxative. But after ] be-
san 10 take Black-Drauph, did not
have any trouble OF this kind
! take big dose a, night and fol-
low few nights with lighter doses
and ! am like new man until ] over
do or ovcrest and neglec, 10 take care
oi myseli until the liver gets out Of
TX, when have TO 20 10 Black
Draught again.
Black Drausht ] have found /, all
,ha, is necessary for the bloa,ed feel
ing in ths stomach, sour stomach or
bad taste in the mouth so common in
spring in the swampy country.
Try Thedford's Black Draugh,. A,
all druggists ~ (Adv.)
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
He Found Out.

He Was n very curious atin.
lIo put his hand beneath
The whifling buzz saw 10 find II
The dpggOnc thing had teeth.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24

Ina File, Of Cherokee road. Louis
vile, wants To know II she csn get
INTO the Club band.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24

across the length and breadth Of
Italy that he sloUs h blocking . Set
Element Of M Fiume problem, that
would b satisfsetory TO The italians.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Aking ImpioYemsI

A 'o' II Improy eme,s nars coming 9,
Ult,
IN 700 .e some today. II its fair.
] think Z viii lly new cap f1r m,
KNEE.
And Key for lock OF my hair
Luxe Mctuke.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Our Daily Special.
Beware or A Silent Woman.
What's the Fare TO Parisf

l a handbill picked up in Paris, Ky.
H{orma us tina, services are TO be
eA ~: Mrs Anna Thomas Fos.
\ A Gospel Magnetic Conundrum
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Police! 1!

We hate TO keep anybody on, Of the
Club, and we would hate 20 sec any
applicant blackballed. But whaddy
We gonna do with !, NJ. kidfoo)er of
Columbus Grove, Ohio2
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
IA She BAshful7

We don't know why. Blu, Bertha
May HYDE on Walnut Hills, Cincin-
nati.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
Huhl

Huhl
THAT is strange remarked the
Old fJgy
"What iS?' asked the Crouch.
"Why, after men contract bad hab-
its they are continually expanding
them replied the Old fogy.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1919-09-24
IJ,41leMLd1ae
His ss.lzs3@ Q64s4111n y
Oh, Joyl

"when my alarm clock sounds" said
HuH,
81 cuss a streak ~ woe;
And wish that | were rich enough
To tell II where To go"
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
FOREST FIRES RAGING
IN WESTERN MONTANA
Several Towns There and in North.
crn Idaho in Danger OF De-
struCtiOn.

Spokane, Wash, July 17.-Forest
fires famed by heavy winds are
threatening timber and livestock in
western Montana and northern Idaho,
according to reports received today
by federal forest officials here. Sew
eral small towns are also reported in
danger OF destruction. The flames
have caused the fire fighting crews to
retreat.
Many fires in federal forest service
district No. l were reported as
spreading rapidly under high wind
and all western Montana was said 10
be under a pail of smoke band of
thousands of sheep were burned when
blaze swept down on Tarkio, a small
town west of Missoula, and trapped
the animals.
Two ranch houses in the Priest
river valley east of the town OF
Priest. Idaho, were destroyed by a
fire which started last night and
which today was threatening 10 other
ranch homes further up the valley.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
TOBACCO PRICES TO BE
DISCUSSED IN FLORENCE

Columbia, S. c., July 21.-Gover-
nor Cooper. at the request of bankers
and business men of the Pee Dee
counties of the state, has issued
call to the bankers. merchants. plant
ers and others interested to meet at
Florence next Friday, July 25, for the
purpose of considering the prevailing
prices of tobacco.
The governor is in receipt Of
number of kilograms which say that
the price now being paid for tobacco
is ruinous and that something must
be done to stimulate the market. He
requested the meeting in order that
plans for boosting the market might
be considered.
Governor Cooper said that it was
improbable that he could attend the
gathering. as he had a previous i'm
portant engagement to fulfil.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
DIR. w. B. HOUSTON DIES
AT HOME IN MONROE
Brother OF L. :. Secretary of AgricuI-
turc Was Greatly Beloved by
His Townspccoplc.

Monroe. ~ c., July 17.-Funeral
services were conducted over the re-
mains of DR.. w b. Houston. brother
to Secretary of Agriculture David
Franklin Houston, at the home yes
terday afternoon at o'clock
Services were in charge of Rev II. II
Jordan, pastor of the Central Meth
odist church, here, and Rev. j. f.
Abernethy, pastor of the Salisbury
Methodist church Secretary Hous-
ton, of the department of agricul-
ture, brother to the deceased. was in
California inspecting government
forest and could not reach Monroe in
time for the funeral
DR.. Houston died about O'Clock
Tuesday afternoon following a long
illness with bright's disease.
The deceased was a son of the late
w. III. II. Houston, who has been call
ed the maker of Mecklenburg county.
He vas born in what is known as the
Whitfield residence here. in the year
1868. AS boy he moved with his
father to Charlotte. He graduated
from the dental department of Van
derbilt university, at Nashville
Tenn, and returned to Monroe about
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22

who was Bella Kun's personal guard
OF honor, publishes an appeal for vol
unteers, and the peoples commits
saries, Varga and Szamuely, and Vice
Commissary of Foregn Affairs Nose
salpary, the new leaders in control,
have sent an ultimatum to the mod
crate city commander of Budapest,
Habrich, ordering him to give up Of
flee and turn over the city to them.
The dispatch says the council of
government is still convinced that the
entente is too weak or unwilling for
armed Intervention. 1t says also that
1.-The red army" of Bella Kun con-
tinues to disintegrate. Food condi-
tions in Budapest are said to be in
discribable, and money is declared to
be rapidly falling in value.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
LONG STANDING GRAIN
DISPUTE NOW SETTLED
United States Grain Corporation Has
Entered Into a Contract With
the Buyers.

New York. July 21.-To settle the
long standing dispute between farm
ers and grain buyers as to proper
price basis for wheat. the United
States grain corporation has entered
into contract with buyers whereby
the latter agree "to reflect properly
TO producers the governments guar
anteed price for various grades of
wheat"
This contract which places the gov
ernment in the standing behind of
producers to see that they obtain a
proper price for their wheat, pro-
vides that, in case of disagreement.
either farmers or buyers are privi-
legged to submit a sample of the wheat
in dispute to the nearest zone vice
president of the grain corporation
and from him get a review of the
method of determining the price
1t also provided appeal for final
Barnes, wheat director, although the
grain corporation urged buyers and
sellers to reach a mutual agreement
wherever possible. thereby saving the
corporation burden OF settling trivial
disputes.
The contract specifies that millers
and dealers shall purchase on the
proper grade and dockage under the
federal standards and shall pay there.
fore not less than the guaranteed
price based on such proper grade and
dockage, at the terminal most advan.
tageously reached. less freight and
less a reasonable handling margin.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
DAMS At BRIDGEWATER
STOPPED GREAT DAMAGE

Morganton, y. c., July 2l.-The
Southern Power company storage
dams at Bridgewater are believed to
have saved flood on the Catawba
which would almost have equaled the
flood three years ago.
After AS hours OF downpour. all
the small streams reached almost un-
precedented heights and swept away
all crops in their path However, the
Catawba was up only six or eight
feet. due to the fact that the great
dams at Bridgewater held the surplus
water, saving millions OF dollars in
crops all down the river, it is be-
lieved
The damage along the small
streams in Burke will reach several
hundred thousapd dollars, principally
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
MIGHTY MOUNT MITCHELL

1885 to begin the practice Of his pro-
fession.
He was married to Miss Mollie
Fitzgerald and she, with four chill
dren, three daughters and one son,
Barto, survive. The daughters are
Mrs. Horace Neal. Mrs w. S. Lee and
Miss Elizabeth Houston. Secretary of
Agriculture David Franklin Houston
is the only surviving brother.
AS dentist DR.. Houston drew a
large practice from his start in the
profession and retained his popularity
as long as he continued at the work.
About six months ago i'll health
forced him to retire. The deceased
was one of Union county's best loved
men and a Christian gentleman. He
was a member of Central Methodist
church.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
NEW REIGN OF TERROR
REPORTED IN BUDAPEST
"Tcrror Troops" Are Now Masters OF
the Capital-They Have Disarmed
the Bella Kun Troops.

Berlin. July 21.-A new reign OF
terror exists in Budapest. according
to advices from the Hungarian capi-
tai to the Tageblatt, and red terror"
in its worst form is anticipated
The dispatch says so-called terror
troops" are now masters OF the capI-
tai, and that they have stormed the
garrison, disarmed the troops of the
Bella Kun government and distributed
arms to "the ragged proletariat."
The leader of the terror troops"
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
THE MOST

No organs OF the human body are so
important to health and long life as the
kidneys. When they slow up and COM
nance to lag In their duties. look out!
Find out what the trouble is--without
delay. Whensver you feel nervous.
weak. dizxy. suffer from sleeplcssness.
o. havs pains in tho back-tooks W
- sncs Your kidnsys need help. These
are signs to warn you that your kid
nsys are not performing their func-
uons properly. They are only han
doing Aeir work and are allowing i'm
puritAss to accumulate and be convert
ed into uric acid and other poisons.
which are causing you distress AND win
destroy you unless they are/drtvsn
rom your system.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22
WILLIAMS PASSES LIE
TO EX-SENATOR WEEKS
Comptroller OF Currency Hits Back
at His Critics Before Senate
Committee.

Washington. July 17.-John Skel-
ton Williams. comptroller Of the cur-
rency, appearing before the senate
banking committee which is consider
ing his nomination today. struck back
at his critics. passed the lie to former
Senator Weeks, OF Massachusetts
who bitterly opposed his nomination
at the last session and denied charges
recently made that he had caused the
withdrawal of Red Cross funds from
certain WASHINGTON banks. Mr.. Will
liams announced when the committee
adjourned until next Friday that he
would at that time reply to allega-
tions made by John Poole and Frank
j. Hogan. local bankers relative to
alleged discrimination against certain
banks
Mr.. Williams gave his testimony
today after \. f.. Jones, representing
stockholders of the defunct First Ma
tional bank Of Uniontown, Pa. of
which j. V. Thompson. millionaire
coal land owner. was formerly presi-
dent had charged Comptroller Will
liams with mismanagement of the
banks affairs so as to cause the
stockholders a loss of $2,7SO.OOO.
Jesse c. Atkins. one of the attor-
neys for the government in the RigEs
bank case. and another witness re-
futed testimony given by Mr.. Hogan
that the comptroller had prosecuted
the Riggs bank and charged that the
bank had repeatedly violated federal
banking statutes until compelled to
desist by Mr.. Williams.
The comptroller read to the COM
mittee letter which he recently sent
to Senator Owen, Of Oklahoma,
former chairman of the committee,
alleging that the resolution presented
10 the committee last session by
former Senator Weeks from the
Clearing House association OF Win
I chester. Ky. and Lexington, KY,
were ''impositions" upon the commit
tee. Mr. Williams declared no such
organization exists in the former city
but that the resolutions" were con
cocted by two junior local bank of
ficials, apparently at the instance or
/ influence Of some person or persons
whose Identity has not yet been dis
/ closed in an effort to deceive the
senate committee and injure me"
The comptroller quoted Senator
Weeks as telling the committee that
In tve years he had not received a
communication which had mot been
critical the comptroller" In ref
erence TO this Mr.. Williams in his let
ter charged he had proof that the
/ former Massachusetts senator at that
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1919-07-22

This scenario" said the eager au-
thor, 'is about girl who waited for
months for letter Of forgiveness
other man who"
"Wait minute" exclaimed the
movie manager.
whats the matter7 Too old!'
mo. ZOO modern. We're not going
to roast the government. The post
~sare has had criticism enough"