davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09
Good Evening
BY ROY K. MOULTON
A LITTLE SLICE OF LIFE

:! LITTLE SLICE OF LIFE
The other day
j We were in a prohibition town
! And were walking down the street
With friend who lives there.
Does prohibition prohibit"
| ] asked my friend, and he replied:
Certainly it does
Nobody can buy a drop in this town,
| Nobody can ship any in,
And nobody can bring any in.
Every suitcase is searched.
! There hasn't been a drop of liquor
In this neighborhood for two years.
I'll call that a pretty good record.
You can't even get it .-.-
IN patent medicines
Just then we looked across the street
and saw an individual
Clinging to a lamppost and singing
When die, bury me deep.
With bottle Of alcohol at my feet. y
A policeman was hurrying after him
Whats the matter with him."
| Asked my friend, much alarmed.
He's stewed," said the policeman.
THE fifth one have picked up
This morning"
One sign Of advancing prohibition
is that they seem to have removed
all the Bronx from the Bronx district
Are we a nation of nickel nurs
ers?" asks one editor.
No. What's the use of saving nick
els? A nickel don't buy anything any
more.
Now that the platinum corner has
been broken and prices have gone
down it will probably be possible tc
buy a platinum finger ring as low as
1865 If you go to the right place.
The last years straw hat, cleaned
looks good-for couple of days
Kansas City Times.
Laura Simmons, the brilliant Boston
parodist, says, in connection with ar
ocean trip:
1T is better to have dined and lost,
Than never to have dined at ALL
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

From mixture Of sugar cane refuse
and bamboo fiber Trinidad plaoter
has succeeded in making paper equal
in quality to the best wood pulp
product
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09
Memories Of Old DAYS
In This Paper Ten Years
Ago Today

The Young Mems Business club
decided to send delegation to the
Wright celebration at Dayton.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

Laura Simmons, the brilliant Boston
parodist, says, in connection with an
ocean trip:
1T is better to have dined and lost,
Than never to have dined at ALL"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

The last years straw hat, cleaned,
looks good-for a couple of days
Kansas City Times.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

Now that the platinum corner has
been broken and prices have gone
down it will probably be possible to
buy platinum finger ring as low as
1865 If you go to the right place.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

John Conley, we'll known photo
grapher, was found dead in his home
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09

THAT'S IMPORTANT TO HIM
Washington Star.
Lenine's greatest success has been shown in his
ability keep of line with stray bullets.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1919-06-09
JUST SEEMS LIKE 1T

:"
Houston Post.
Moral limitations utterly preclude the idea of ami
mated perpetual notion The incessancy of Bryan
Villa merely suggests it.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
Warming to Bogus Heroes

There have been lot of bogus heroes in
America since the army began dispatching
men back to the States for sickness, wounds,
training and other reasons Every soldier
who has gone back has been a hero until
proved otherwise, and the temptation not to
prove themselves otherwise has been too much
for some
There is the case Of the air service me-
chanc who went back with heart trouble His
hometown newspaper printed his diary,
which recounted several stirring fights over
the German lines, ali imaginary. The nearest
he had been to the front was Issoudun.
There is the case of the sergeant who
lectured on the battle of Cantigny for the
fourth Liberty loan land sold a lot of bonds,
tool until he was found to have spent all his
stay in France, barring travelling time, at lie
Mans
And there Is the case, just to show how
hard it was not to be ia hero, of the major
who returned and, merely obeying military
regulations refused to be interviewed. AS far
training school at Langres "Modestly de-
clines to speak Of his part in Chateau-T hierry
fighting" was the second line of the heading
over the story about him in the next morning
paper. The fault was the newspapers not the
majors.
To date, in the eyes of the people back
home every soldier who has been in Europe
has undergone the horrors Of the front. Private
Johnnie Jones Of the S. o. S., whose greatest
hardship in this war was taps at $3.50, was
pictured in his home journal and captioned,
John Jones' Of this city, now battling for free
dom in the trenches" 1t is going to be hard
to convince the home folks that of the 100000
Americans in France, half of them, through
no fault Of their own, of course, never got
under FIRE.
But, once the idea is around, and once we
get back with our hrst-hand knowledge of
affairs over here, the bogus hero is going to
have a pretty thorny trail.-Stars and Stripes.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
MAKING A MONKEY OF THE ARMY.

Secretary Baker has just committed the most
astonishing act Of his amazing career as head
Of the War department He has ordered "the
release Of ii2 conscientious directors held at
Fort Leavenworth, the remission Of the unex-
eeuted portions Of their sentences, their hon
orable restoration to duty and immediate dis
charge from the army" They will thus emerge
from prison to take their places. in civil life
alongside men who did the real work Of the
army.
These men had been guilty Of refusal to sub
NIT to military discipline or to perform milf
tary service. Under the selective draft law,
every man between the ages of IS and As was
required to register for military service He
was pursued as a deserter il he did not Such
as were wanted by the government were in
Quoted into military service. Some of these
were defiant of authority, and under guise Of
conscientious" objection refused to obey any
order, no matter what or by whom given.
A few Of these men were sincere, holding
religious beliefs that taught them to abhor war
or the shedding of blood. Some extreme cases
of this devotion have been recorded, especially
among the Mennonites and Quakers although
the latter found ways to serve without taking
up arms. Mainly, however, the &C o." ele-
ment was found among the radical socialists,
who. following the lead Of the ST. Louis con-
ference, sought to hamper the government in
every way. These men were and are insolent,
not only in their defiance of military order, but
Of the civil courts of the land, Omaha has
heard from them within the week
Secretary Baker has heard the voice Of
Upton Sinclair and other socialist leaders, de-
manding that the "polticals" be released He,
has had civil commission, headed by Judge
Mack Of Chicago, democrat Of socialistic
proclivites, review" the proceedings Of the
courts-martial and the FIRST fruits of this come
with the undoing of the work of the military
officers, who have tried to make an army.
What may be looked for in the future, if this
sort Of thing prevails? How can military serv-
ice be enforced, if the certain way to escape is
through conscientious objection1" And how is
il possible to avoid bolshevism, when the sec
rotary Of war encourages resistance to author
ity by making a monkey" Of the army7
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
Nation Of the Water Wagon

BY the final act Of the Nebraska legisla-
ture this country Of more than 100000, COM
posed Of citizens Of varied ideas as to personal
liberty, moral duty and economic expediency,
is now committed to prohibition through a fed
eral amendment We shall be bone-dry at the
end Of year at the utmost and may be bone-5
dry within six months at the earliest If the
emergency law passed by congress and apply
ing to wartimes is effective. The possibility that
actual or legal army rehabilitation may put
off the application Of the war-dfy enactment Is
the only thing, therefore, that stands between
the states and an extraordinary revolution IN
social life and habits.
The swiftness with which the amendment
has been pressed to ratification BY the neces-
sary three-fourths of the states must be re-
garded as ia part directly due to the social and
economic upheavai caused BY the war, in part
to the growth Of a sober Judgment that the use
Of alcohol as a beverage was social industrial
and economic waste, and in part to the moral
sense Of the various Communities. Undoubt-
eddy the ieaven Of the states which Of their own
motion had previously adopted prohibition as
a policy has spread resistlessly throughout the
entire nation, and the growing policy Of the
great employing groups to make the use Of in
to,icants a bar to employment has exercised 8
powerful Influence IN winning mems minds to
the view that liquor was an evil only to be erad-
icated By 4 drastic operations-Ph Philadelphia
Ledger.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
suppIy and Demand On FoodstafEa.

High cost Of living is intimately bound up
with the price of foodstuffs, which in their turn
depend on several elements, and not always the
cost of production. Two phases of the problem
are reflected in the current news. Out at Den
yer the commissioner Of the general land Office
warns live stock growers not to resort to lini-
tatiOn of product in order to maintain prices,
From Washington comes a story that a Sarpy
county farmer has complained that the selling
price Of corn has been affected by the action Of
the food administration.
Each of these points deserves careful ex-
animation. Meat has been selling at prices all
most out Of reach, and with little sign Of a
recession. Short supply is the main reason
assigned for this. If the American producers
should set about deliberately to restrict output
in order to keep up prices, they would be doing
humanity poor service No one will deny them
legitimate profit, nor begrudge them prosper
ity that has come with the war, but none will
undertake to justify them in an effort to hold
up the world by eurtailing meat supplies.
The corn market is involved, because finished
meat animals are the product of,corn4feeding It
is not easy to say to what extent the price Of one
depends on the other, so closely are they con-
nected. The corn raiser is looking to profit
just the same as the meat producer, and is en-
titled to it In the present situation, the law
of supply and demand is operating, for the
latest break in corn came with the removal Of
the bar against the Argentina crop. When
brought into competition with the9world sup
ply, the homegrown crop suffers in price
American food products are entitled to some
protection against competition that will tend to
lower the agricultural industry to a foreign
standard, but that protection will not be af-
forded BY the limitation Of output nor by arti-
fetal stimulation of market prices through
speculative control A better balance than now
exists will be found but farm and range alike
must be used to their utmost productive ca
pacity if we are to have the benefit Of DIR won
derful natural resources.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

mules halted to prepare to 60 over
the top. Peggy did some fast think
ing as she looked down toward the
big enclosure that held hundreds
and hundreds Of horses. And her
thinking caused her 10 face BalIky
Sam very seriously.
"Do you know II you attack those
German SOLDIERS you viii ne 90 ny
wrong to Uncle Sam2" she asked.
''How's that?" asked Balky Sam,
rolling his eyes at her in surprise.
Because Uncle Sam promised he
would quit lighting while peace was
being arranged. You are part Of his
army. II you make war on the Ger
man soldiers you will cause him TO
break his word"
Balky sam didn't like that idea
bit. He frowned and paved the
ground.
"Ill not touch the Germans. but
Just thrash their horses. That will
not harm Uncle SAM" he finally
concluded.
How can you get at the horses
without lighting the Germans?"
asked Peggy.
Il know" broke in Billy Belgium.
RIett0 NAAA AAAAV lAes
That's a good idea" brayed
and kick up my heels"
mo" said Billy. Slave all your
mules roll in the soft snow until
they look like a lot OF ghosts. Then
hee-haw just as Nmournful as you
can. That will puzzle and alarm
the Germans. Peggy and will play
tricks on them, making them think
spirits are around so when they see
a whole white troop come galloping
out Of the graveyard 1t will send
them scooting."
"Hee- hawi Great" brayed the
mules rolling in the snow. In quick
time they were covered with pure,
white coats and looked very ghostly
indeed.
Billy Belgium chanted the Co
liekety Shrub charm, which made
him and Peggy their usual size
again, but invisible to human eyes.
The Germans were gathered
around a campfire, as Billy and Peg
laughing and joking among them
selves, evidently glad that the war
was over.
Suddenly there came an awful
noise from the graveyard. II was
like a great, mournful groan, fol-
lowed by an agonized wall. Peggy,
badly scared, grabbed Billy Belgium
by the arm. Then she remembered
1t was only the mules.
But the Germans, not knowing
about the mules, were badly fright
ened. They jumped to their feet and
looked up the hill. Again came
that awful ghostly noise. Then q
sergeants cap few off his head and
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
aRait for the RolshsviIzi.a

Third in the list of major plans proposed at
Paris for dealing with bolshevism is that Of
furnishing free food for the mass of ignorant
and hungry humanity now caught up and car
ried on By the swirling food Of madness Sen
ator Harding Of Ohio has debated this point in
connection with the presidents statement that
force alone would not control the bolsheviki.
The senator takes the position outlined by The
Bee at the time Mr.. Wilson made his request
for an appropriation Of $lOO,O00,0OO to provide
food for the starving millions Of central and
southern Europe.
II the plan is merely to feed these people
and coax them back to a state Of reason, its
wisdom may we'll be questioned. Assuredly, we
can not and will not permit them to starve
while we have means for providing relief. But
il must be made plain to them that our effort
is temporary and not permanent, and that with
the coming Of another planting season they will
be expected to take steps to provide their own
food. Absurd as It may appear, the people Of
the greatest grain growing region Of Europe
are starving 70 death because the lands were
given to them to live on and cultivated This
paradox could only exist in a country where
all order had vanished.
Bolsnevism is a terror only as it tends to de-
stroy ali organized effort save that bent on de-
struction Il embodies the primal passions Of
savage man, manifestng itself through the inn
pulse Of the unframed mind to strike out
blindly, brute force exerted without direction,
To feed these and stop there is to invite just
what. happened when the nephews Of Con-
stantne sought to compound similar situa-
ton with the Goths and the Visi-Goths. Along
with the food must go such instruction as will
not be lost on the child-mind Of the muiik.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Washington Post: If you want
to understand how darkness can be
made visible, listen to a senate de-
bate on Russia.
Detroit Free Press: Having lost
its place in the sun, Germany is also
experiencing difficulty in maintain
ing its place on the map.
washington Post. The poor gold
miners are asking for help. II they
will trade some Of their raw ma
terial for It, the thing might be ar
ranged
Baltimore American; Now, where
the Salvation Army to make those
famous 6Oughnuts available for civil
lians, it would stand a good chance
Of enlisting all the church members.
Kansas City Star: The discovery
that Washington has never been
legalized as the capital of the United
States is worrying Senator Myers OF
Montana, who introduced. resolu-
ton to repair the neglect. Well, IN
the meantime we've got Paris. <
Philadelphia Ledger: The presi-
dents message from Paris to the
war labor board was just as effective
in ending the intolerable conditions
in New York harbor as IL it had
come from Washington. In spite OF
the prophets OF evil, the White
House has not ceased" to function.
New York World: Those who re-
member how suddenly Germany
plunged into war maybe forgiven IL
thew y1naY.ttal AZ s&3n 1orcg de1aVg ~ tt,n
victorious enemies of that country in
taking up the considerations Of
peace, and yet war-making and
peace-making are different trades.
Brooklyn Eagle: Whatever Amer
leans think about "entangling alli-
ances," they have growing admira-
ton for the Father Of His Country.
Perhaps that accounts in a measure
for the fact that Gilbert Stuart's
George Washington brought s21, 900
at a city auction. though three years
ago 1t had been sold for $500.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

The Omaha Hyphenated presents an
elaborate and important program Of work for
the legislature. Il may be impertinent to re-
mark that each Of its several items was present
and just as imperative when the last legislature
was in session. But that was democratic or
ganization, and so its time was taken up in pass
ing laws that might give the party an advantage
in ways such as the gerrymsnder of Douglas
county.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

The ship-buiding business is IN in the air,
and doesn't know how to get dem. Federal
control will result in disaster, says member
Of the board. and cancellation Of orders given
will also bring trouble Here is a case on
which the doctors had disagreed for many
years and concerning which the war seems to
have taught no lesson
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

new war until he explained that It
was to free the Belgian horses and
COWS carried of by the Germans,
were now eager to help him. They
few away and were soon out Of
sight, Dusk was falling when they
came back.
'The horses are at the far end Of
the camp" they reported. "You can
attack their corral through grave
yard on the hill"
"Are the horses guarded?" asked
BallSy Sam.
"By a whole company OF Ger
mansl" replied Homer Pigeon.
Galloping to the graveyard, the
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Mr.. Armour explains that the 400 per cent
stock dividend paid by his company was the
result Of the policy Of reinvestment Of earn
ings. The same result Is achieved by borrow
ing money and paying it back as 1t produces
income. There is no magic in this way Of
getting rich.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
CHAPTER Nv.
The Army OF Ghosts,

Gallop, gallop. ganop went the
troop Of mules along a snow-coy-
cred road, until they came out upon
the brow Of q hill overlooking q
large camp.
'Hee-hawl Hee-hawl There are
the Germans" brayed Balky Sam,
hating his army Homer and Car
rie Pigeon will you scout ahead and
see II you can find any Hun horses
for us to whip 2"
Homer and Carrie Pigeon, who
had been opposed to Balky Sans
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

The grandmother Of the Russian revoiu-
ton has followed numerous brood Of her
grandsons to America, where already enough
Of trouble might have been noted.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Another general strike" is called in Ger
many, where the practice has almost reached
the stage Of perpetual performance. Some-
body will have to 60 to work there pretty soon.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Activity at the land loan banks is rehec-
tion of the determination of lot Of farmers to
stick to the game, even If they have to borrow
money to carry on the business
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Mr.. Bakers latest act may not be intended
as a bait to boishevism," but it will not tend
to strengthen the discipline Of which the army
must depend for effectiveness.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

began to dance around the IRE. The
hat OF a corporal followed. An
empty. coat. assumed. shape. and
legged violently. A sword jumped
out OF q scabbard and waved vio-
lently in the air.. A gun whirled
around pointing in all directions.
Yells Of fear arose from the Ger
mans. Like an echo came that
ghostly wall again, but this time
much nearer, as dozens of white.
phantom-like figures rushed over
the graveyard wall and toward the
terrorized Huns.
I'm tomorrow's chapter BalISy Sam pre-
pares to fight a duel)
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Nebraska Is certainly glad to get the boys
back from over there, and they need not worry
about their future, either Plenty Of employ
ment will Be found for all
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

New Zealand reports s7,o32 casualties with
1880 killed and only As taken prisoners. The
Anzaes are highly respected by the Huns.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

"a recent invention provides for 10
telephone messages to be sent at the
same time"
'That will cause no END Of talk."-Ds-
troit Free Press.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

In Oregon the temperature Of each legislator
will be taken as he starts the days work It
might be wiser to try EN- out after business
gets under way.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Thirty-one thousand hogs, averaging above
200 pounds and selling at $l7.2O, is one days
record for the Omaha market, pretty fair
business incident, we thank you.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

John F. Stevens has been named as head Of
the Siberian railroads, but whether this is an
asset or liability is not stated
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Paris now reports a wave OF crime. Can
this have any connection with the International
gathering Of statesmen
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
CHEEKY CHAFF.

7 understand your husband Is keeping
late hours again.
HE certainly Is" replied the woman
with the positive voice II have given
John instructions to keep the house warm
IL he has to cit up with the furnace till
3 o'clock In the morning."--St. Louis
Globe Democrat.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

The president may not be responsible for
bolshevism, but he can not get out Of the
blame for the secretary of war;
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
Daily Dot PuzzIe

coMINGl A dot puzzle prize
contest Watch for next Fridays
dot puzzle,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Maybe when the law allows the policemen
to form union, the matter will not seem so at,
tractive to them.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

The peace conference at Paris is likely to
have permanent job. Some enthusiasts are
now proposing to take the Mexican matter
there.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Chicago hotel owners are going to do away
with the "lady bell hops" for the good Of the
service
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23
DREAML AND
ADVENTURE
BY DADDY.

tBalky Sam leads an army OF mules
to rescue captive Belgian and French
animals from the Germans. Peggy and
Billy Belgium so along)
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Woman now asks admission to the peace
table. There is where she shines.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Douglas county's lawmakers are not idling
away their time at any rate.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

Seattle shpyard workers are about to kill
the goose that laid the golden egg.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

"How the war and sudden peace have
speeded up evsrythingl"
But a dollar travels only about half
az far as Il did."-Life.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1919-01-23

good, honest, brave, self-respecting
workman, no matter what his work
may be. But, above all, teach
Christianity and not ''kultur."
Down with the Germans.
MRS. JULIA M. sIEROLD.