South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-05-15
Tower
of Babel
By Bill Armstrong

Special 20 The News-Times:
WASHINGTON, May 14-George
NJ. Platner's QUESTIONABLE. which
was submitted when the draft law
for the older men was passed, has
just been brought 10 light in the
war department here. This is Mr..
Platners QUESTIONABLE completes:
Name ...... George VI. Platner
Age .............
Business ........... Canvasser
White or black? OF 50 Why o.. Yes
Are your feet fiat or dirty? Yes
What is your politics? . Baptist
Do you know Joe Donahue? "
......... Yes, but don't rub il in.
DO you ever try 10 get in the
army? ~ In 1892 l tried
the Salvation Army, but it did
not take.
Have you any other military ex-
perience? | served II
years in the home guards and
used TO work in the first ward
in Chicago.
Are you married? &C.. go Yes,
emphatically.
What are the color Of your eyes?
.................. Blood shot.
Where do you live? ........ on
Lafayette St but / haint home
much.
Have you ever been convicted
Of a felony? . l don't remem Der.
Have you ever been in Mishawa-
ka2 .. l passed through
there on a freight in the early
forties.
Did you ever do anything else you
are ashamed of . / don't recall.
What is your favOrite color? ~
.............. Blond.
How many good teeth have you?
........ All good. Two sets.
What have you done TO help win
the war? . / quit selling
the popular Burnlikerags cigar
to minors.
What is your weight? ..... Six
and sever lights.
Could you sell US a good beer
receipt - 1 could not, If
1 had a good one I would keep il.
What organizations do you belong
to? .. 1 clutter up the XII
wants club and the Elks prin-
cipally and go over to the
Chamber of Commerce once in
awhile to kick about something.
As soon as you get out of the draft
where are you going? ........
By George. l am going TO Birm-
ingham or bust.
(Note: This Ia about all of the
QUESTIONABLE that might be of any
interest TO the general public.)
For a man his size, sammie
Schwartz raises a lot Of cain.
Z. Reeder wears out a Stetson
every time he passes Kresge's
All Right Dave, Get Busy!
ESSEX CAR IS WRECK-News-
paper headline.
The Tower of Babel will send one
OF its most efficient men (ahem) TO
the great international convention of
Kiwanis clubs at Birmingham,
Ala, recognizing the growing i'm
portance of this organization of
business men. The doings of the
South Bend men at the convention
will be set down in detail. with APP
propriate praise or criticism. which
ever is necessary.
The party will leave the oliver
hotel Friday morning at . a. m, If
the delegates are able to get up that
early and will proceed to Birming-
ham by automobile. The particular
object of the excursion is TO elect
our own Louis Hammerschmidt first
vice president of Kiwanis this year.
and pave the way for electing him
international president the following
year and also bringing the 1920 con-
vention 10 this city. II all this is &C
complished, the South Bend dele
CATION intends TO ask pothing else
of the convention and allow it TO
go forward without any trouble.
Here's a little dope about XII
wanis-It's been going less than five
years and now embraces a member
ship of nearly 10000 business fell
lows in rs cities of this country
and Canada. And all over the coun-
try. the members are live ones like
those in the South Bend club. We
know cause we used to organize
them for a livelihood.
Who ever saw "A man late in keep
ing an appointment for penny ante?
Some people seem to think that
two fellows make a crowd.
Howard EmmOns Of the Cham Der
Of Commerce is getting able 10 look
them over again.
Have you ever noticed two months
| before the date OF a convention you
hear such expressions as this
Sure I'll be there.
Cut me in on that trip. I want
10 go and wouldn't miss it for 500
| bones I'll take our whole store force