Evening star., 1919-04-13
SAM SAYS, &c

|, "GIDDAP!"
piled piled SC 50 , high with papers tbs, that S;eS you
the Secretary tells him of the national
crisis.
Looks like well need about six
billions" says the Secretary.
tax eapeps 9tsna Gve se me few Te1ss days Mr.
Secretary. and I'll bring you a list OF
things to tax"
- Mccoy goes back to his Uttered
desk. He starts thinking and figuring.
wide area of human happiness and en-
deavor. He prizes into statistics on the
most intimate and trifling purchases
Of our everyday life. He discovers
how often we go to theaters and
movies and what we pay for tickets.
in playing cards, whisky, gin and jazz
records; in balls--golf, tennis, foot,
base, lacrosse. billiard and pool; of
cameras. candy, cigarettes, chewing
ing knives. daggers swords, canes
stllettos and brass knuckles.
Electric fans. yachts and motor
boats. liveries for coachmen. riding
habits, hunting and shooting togs.
pipe organs. cornets. bass drums and
phonographs-all coming under the
general head of Household necessi-
ties-are placed on the list.
Ice skates and tennis rackets,
canoe cushions and base ball bats and
gloves are not overlooked nor are au-
tomobiles and motor cycles, tires and
self-starters. He invades the pre-
cincts of the dressing tables and takes
notes on rouge. soap, perfume and
nj
and lists carpets. rugs. picture frames,
purses, lamp shades. umbrellas, and,
poking his head into clothes closets.
calculates luxury taxes on smoking
jackets, bath and lounging robes,
kimonos, petticoats and waists, hats.
SHOES, shirts. ties, stockings. suits and
underwear.
He casts evil designs upon our trav-
els and our freight shipments. our in
surance and our telephone and tele-
graph messages.
Not content with having learned of
the amount OF money we have to
spend for these things. he proceeds
10 nGure now much he can take
method OF a tax on incomes, which
he has just shown by immutable fig
ures already has been expended.
Mr. Mccoy. after arriving at an
estimate OF the amount Of revenue
his suggestions will raise, takes his
hat and strolls over to the Treasury
Department The Secretary of the
Treasury has learned in the meantime
that Secretaries Daniels and Baker
need some ready cash to keep few
generals and admirals on the pay
roll; that Lane has to have the pur-
chase price OF some farms for SOL
diers: that Houston fears the pink
boil worm will ruin Texas cotton un-
less he can buy some paris green:
Hines says the railroads will have
Tor lack OF COAL senators have to have
extra clerks to handle correspond
ence on the league Of nations and the
Smithsonian Institution needs an
additional night watchman.
He greets Mccoy most cordially.
takes the list, entitled mice Things
to Tax" and summons an underpafd
assistant. They go over the list
About S6 per cent Of McCoy's sugges-
tions are adopted. This, in fact, was
bill
How much will these taxes raise?
inquiries the Secretary.
oh. about sS,ss7,43s.s2l.as." re-
The Secretary writes courteous
notes to the chairmen of the ways
and means and finance committees.
telling them there must be new
revenue bill. Congress- may fuss a
day or two, but no one takes that
seriously.
Mccoy goes back to his office. piles
a few more papers on the desk and
waits for the telephone bell to ring.
He does not wait long. 1t 10 a call
from the ways and means committee.
Hello. Mccoy" says the voice. 1t
might be that OF Payne. Underwood,
Kitchin or Fordney. They all do it,
We've got to rig up new revenue
bill. Come on up"
II
Mr.. Mccoy goes to the Capitol and
begins working on the tax bill. The
nucleus is his own recommendation.
He must assume sympathetic atti-
tude toward the views OF the members
while waging defensive warfare
against efforts TO nullify his program.
Members of the committee are amazed
at his audacity in suggesting taxes on
rouge and perfume with woman suf-
frage just around the corner of the
political highway. Southern members
storm at the recommendation for
tax on cotton products: westerners
say hides must not be touched, and
New Eng la nders " i'll simply not listen