South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-12-28


wouldn't be interested in them" ex-
claimed the widow in disappointed
tone. as the bachelor dragged her
gently but forcibly away from the
struggling crowd OF women. at the
tapestry sale.
II am" he protested. still tug
ging at her elbow. and guiding her
firmly out of the dusty auction
rooms into the sunlight. Il adore
them! But 1 can't eat them And,
I'm furnishing. We can come back
after lunch. can't we?"
The widow sighed, and snapped
her lorgnettes together.
You're just like Clemenceau."
she announced dramatically.
"Like-which? The bachelor
stopped in the act OF looking at his
! watch. to stare at her.
Like the French premier" re-
peated the widow, "he wouldn't let
the 500 delegates sign the armistice
until they had their dejeuner. That's
why IL was signed at 3 o'clock in the
afternoon instead of at II o'clock in
| the morning-and we never got the
news until the next day, What was
the nervous anxiety of millions OF
people, in his young life-compared
| to the possible suffering of 500
masculine stomachs?'
Hear, hear" cried the bachelor.
admir.ngly. Wise old bird. He
knew what he was doing If he had
hailed them there on empty stom-
achs. quite likely half of them
would have come with a crouch and
refused TO sign, at all."
How well you know them"
sighed the widow, meekly permit
| ting herself to be hurried into the
nearest restaurant, and sinking
breathlessly down at the first avail
abs table. mo man ever did any
thing graciously or enthusiastically
or effectively before luncheon-from
making peace to making love-"
"Humph." commented the bache-
/ Tor. without taking mis- eyes from
tho alluring menu card, mo sane
man ever made love before lunch
| con"
True" agreed the widow. That's
where a widow has such a vast ad-
vantage over a young girl. She
doesn't expect It. She would know
/ intuitively that a proposal Of mar
rage. coming from a man between
! breakfast waffles and luncheon truf-
fes, was not sircerel'
The bachelor gave the order and
leaned back beaming with anticipa-
ton, as the waiter hurried off TO fill
III.
Yes" no assented shameiessly.
/ Romance and sentiment are as
hard TO awaken before midday as
"A prima donna. But the average
young girl expects 10 be fed thrills
and flattery an devotion. all day
long. II chap doesn't play Romeo.
on the golf links before breakfast,
she thinks his love is dead"
When it's merely his emotions
that are in a state OF coma" sym
! pathized the widow. IF he is silent
and sinister. she fancies that he IS
suffering from soul-starvation. when
II is merely a famished appetite.
That's why so many honeymoons go
down with a crash. No woman un-
I
ed 10 a masculine digestion for at
least a few years, and learned by
hard experience, when to OFFER him
kisses. when 10 offer him sandwiches
and when 10 offer him a dyspepsia
tablet"
Exactly" acquiesced the bache-
Tor. beaming upon the waiter as the
latter uncovered the steaming brown
guinea hen for his approval The
way 20 a mans heart is through his
stomach, Not all the advanced
theories OF the modern girl can i'm
prove on that old aviom."
NONSENSE" The widow toyed
with her asparagus indiderently
The way 10 a mans heart Is arou1i
his stomach. II husbands and
wives never saw each other before
afternoon, they would be sweethearts
forever. and divorce would become
sS obsolete as monarchy and as IN