Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1919-02-25

hihu anu COuIleOuS, anu tooh All if-
tcrest in me. They taught me table
and social etiquette, and took are
that I appeared neat and clean.
The younger Lazov, Lieutenant
Nasili, began to notice me, and one
evening invited mo to take a walk
with him. In time Vasili's interest
gethcr many times. He made love
to me-, caressing and kissing me. Did
I realize clearly the meaning of it all?
Hardly. It was all so new, so Won
derful, so alluring. 1t made my pulse
throb at his approach. 1t made my
checks flame.
Nasili said he loved me. Did I
love him? IF I did, it q more be-
cause of the marvellous world into
which he was to lead me than on ac-
count Of himself. lie promised to
to marry him? Scarcely. The pros
pect of marriage was more enticing
to me because of the end itwould put
to my life Of drudgery and misery
than on account of anything else. To
become free, independent, possessed
of means, was the attractive prospect
that marriage held for mo. I was then
! fifteen and a half years old. Then
orders came to the Lazovs to leave
for a different post. Nasili informed
me of the order.
"Then we will have to get married
quickly. before you 60" l declared.
But Vasili did not think so.
That's quite impossible, Marusia,"
he said.
"Why?" | inquired sharply, some
thing rising in my throat, like a tide,
with s~uffocating force.
Because / am an officer, and you
are only a plain moujitchka. You
understand, yourself, that at present
we can't marry. Marusenka, ] love
you just as much as ever. Come.
Ill take you home with me; you'll
stay with my parents. I'll give you
an education, then we will get mar.
ried.'
/ became hysterical and throwing
myself at him like a ferocious ami
NAL, 1 screamed at the top of my
voice:
you villain. You deceived me. You
never did love me-. You are a scoun-
drel. May God curse you"
Vasili tried to calm me. He drew
near, but l repulsed him. He cried,
he begged, he implored that | be-
lieve hat he loved me, and that he
would marry me. But 1 would not
listen to him. I trembled with rage.
seized by a fit Of uncomfortable TEN.
per. He left ME 1 n tears.
1 did not see Vasili for two days.
Neither did his brother or sister.in'
law. He had disappeared. When he
returned, he presented a pitiable sight.
His haggard face, the appearance of
his clothes. and the odor of vodka told
the story of his two days debauch.
"Ah, Marusia, Marusia," he lament,
ed. gripping my arms. What have
you done, what have you done? l
loved you so much. And you did not
want to understand me. You have
ruined my life and your own
My heart was wrung with pity for
Vasili. Life to me then was a laby'
r;nth of blind alleys, tangled bewilder
ing. It Is now clear to me thai Vasili
did love me genuinely, and that he
had INDUCED in the wild orgy to for
get himself and drown the pain I had
caused him, But I did not understand
it then. Had I loved him truly. it
might all have been different. But a
single thought dominated my mind:
He had promised to marry me and
failed" Marriage had become to me
the symbol of a life Of independence
and freedom.
The Lazovs left. They gave me
money and gifts. But my heart was
echoing with the whine of wild beasts.
Instead of a life of freedom, my
parents basement awaited me. And
deep in my bosom lurked a dread of
the unknown. 80
1 stealthily returned home. My
sisters had already noticed a different
air about me. Perhaps they had seen
me with Vasili at one time or another,
Whatever the cause, they had their
suspicious, and did not fail to COM
municate them to mother. 1t required
little scrutiny for her to observe that
from a shy little girl I had blossomed
forth into a young woman And then
there began days and nights Of torture
for me.
My father quickly got wind OF what
had happened at the Lazovs. He wa
merciless and threw himself upon me
with a whip, nearly lashing me to
death, accompanying each blow with
epithets that burned into me more
than the lashes Of the whip. He also
beat my mother when she attempted
to intervene for me.
NY father would return home drunk
qlpaoet every dav, ana i~nApedlatsly
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