davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26
Socialism VS.. Bolshevism

To birdman the view of Socialia
would be identical with hundreds Of
other small cities. There would be
church spire; a small park some
where in the center; well-defined
streets, and a few towering chimneys
of manufacturing plants. Socialia is
an imaginary place of habitation, and
because it is imaginary it is ideal
according to certain principles There
are no pouchy bankers or sleek land
lords; no over-ambitious mortals, no
parasites. The lumber mill, brick
factory, haberdashery, cotton mill and
packing house are owned, managed
and sweated in conjointly by all the
users of the products thereof. There
is no mayor nor are there any bick-
ering councilmen. The only public
officials in the community are the
dog catcher and the street cleaner.
All affairs of state are discussed and
decided under the spreading elm tree
in the center of the park. There not
being any over-ambitious citizens all
questions are consummated with
characteristic mildness and complete
satisfaction.
Oh, it's just lovely! That's Social
Ism.
Now, it so happens that by contin-
ual violent exertions in capturing
CANNES the dog catcher becomes am
bilious. The street cleaner being a
spectator of several clever catches
also becomes infected with the am
bilious virus. Both begin to plan
secretly methods of improving their
social positions. Heretofore no opin-
ion had ever been handed down as to
which of the two public offices was
the most desirable. However, seeing
all others living peaceably and con-
tented each one resolves to make the
most noise. When the community as
sembles to decide whether or not to
decrease the hours of toll with a pro-
portionate increase in remuneration
the only officials take opposite sides.
Being public servants, to them is ex-
tended the courtesy of opening the
discussion. Because the dog catcher
is closer to the stump he is the first
to speak. The discussion becomes
heated; in fact, so much so that the
entire assemblage becomes. infected
with the virus ambitious of the two
speakers. The dog catcher has the
bigger following and he therefore
boldly announces that his plan for
less toll will go into effect. Those
taking the other side do so only for
personal reasons, and not wishing to
be ousted they sulkily withdraw after
counting the other side. The neutrals
stay in the background. The follow
ing morning all the street corners are
thickly populated. Each corner has a
soap box and an animated figure
thereon. This leads the dog catcher
to line of action. He elects himself
Mayor of Socialia and composes city
council of six. He seizes all factories
and good supplies and also the print
ing office where he makes currency.
The opposing side is rapidly organized
too, only that the street cleaner ap-
points himself generalissimo, and
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26
1T WAS THE WRONG MARK TWAIN
So an Actress Did Not See the Writ
er's Old Home.

1t has been said that no person from
Hannibal, Mo-, can refrain from men,
t1oning the name of Mark Twain if
away from home longer than ten min
utes. However, Mrs. ]. H. Garth of
Hannibal, exceeded the limit five min
utes at the Daniel Boone Tavern
Thursday.
Have you heard the true story
which happened recently at Hannibal
about Mark Twain?" she asked.
AN actress, fond of Mark Twain's
works. was passing through Hannibal
stopped for few hours to visit Mark
Twain's home. Hiring taxi, she asked
the negro driver if he knew where
Samuel Clemens home was. Vas sir,
vas sir, / does
1.-THE driver drove on and on and
finally drove up in front Of a small
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26
LAW VS.. CONSTITUTION

British newspapers are poking fun
at the Americans because after Jan
uary 16, 1920, it will be unconstitu-
tional to drink glass of beer in the
United States. They point out that
the British constitution allows the in
dividual free choice and is more dem
ocratic than that of America.
1t is true that we have rigid, writ
ten Constitution. We define our law
and put it in a document where it is
more easily accessible and understood.
This method does away with much
pleading of ignorance of the law. That
paradox of thing being constitu-
donal but illegal cannot occur in the
United States. Legality and consti-
tutionality are the same.
Great Britain is the possessor of a
flexible, unwritten constitution. Much
of her law is underlined and based on
custom. Constitutionality is put not
up legal status but upon fundamental
subject matter. Old usage and GUS
tom may decree a thing constitution
al, regardless if the number of laws
that have been passed declaring it lille
gal.
Great Britain is ruled by parties
that fast succeed each other. All tina,
is necessary to be in power is to have
a majority of members of the House
of Commons. The controlling party
through Parliament, can make or un
make any law. 1t can abolish its
kingship and constitution by stroke
of the pen.
American democracy is built upor
more substantial basis. Every poll
tical party must obey the Constitution
of the United States. The whim Of
no party can make or unmake it
Amendment to our Constitution i:
slow and can be made only by a vote
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26
surrounds himself with a brilliant

surrounds himself with a brilliant
staff.
During this time the soup-bone line
forms twice daily before the packing
house.
The conflict finally takes on a
bloody aspect when thirty who dared
to fight are killed. Much property is
destroyed, and hunger and pestilence
prevail. After feeding the coerced
dogs so that in few days their ribs
We'd for prominence with their legs,
the dog catcher turns them loose on
the enemy and gains a complete vic
tory and becomes ruler of Socialia.
Oh, it's just bloody! That's Boil
shevism. A. S. G.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

of the people. We have a working
basis to begin on; we know always
where we stand. We are ruled by a
Constitution, written and rigid.
If the alcohol habit becomes obnox-
ious or a social menace to America,
the decision as to the outcome is TAX
en- out of the hands of the individual
and placed in the hands of society for
the registration of opinion. This opin-
ion is final and must be lived up to.
In Great Britain the question OF
whether the nation can brest the
waves of social disorder lies separate
" with each individual. He cannot be
molested or restrained, unless common
law or an ancient custom says it is
unconstitutional, and even then it may
be legal to continue the practice. Con-
stitutionality improves with age In
England. 1t takes the flight OF two or
three hundred years to make a prin-
ciple venerable enough to be constitu-
tional in Great Britain. We at least
know where we are at"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

cabin with a group Of ragged children
playing on the porch. Here's where
Sam Clemens lives he said. 'Them's
his chiluns on the porch and there's
Sam hisself out in the back yard saw
in wood"
Mrs. Garth in company with Mrs.
L. T. Lathrop of Hannibal and Mrs. C..
B. Forbes of st. Louis drove through
from Hannibal.
They are being entertained while
here by Mrs. ]. H. Lansing, 300 Col
lege avenue, and Prof. H. F. Major.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

1t is easy enough to play the part
of the advisers of Job; the test of the
real actor is in taking the part of Job
himself.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26
It's No Time to Die.

LONDON, July (by maiD.-The
parallel increase in the costs of living
and dying have again come to atten-
tion, this time through the medium
of the Lambeth-London Borough coun-
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

Don't give all your smiles to your
business acquaintances; save few to
take home to your wife at the close OF
the days work.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

The vets are becoming more con-
vinced each day of the truth of the
slogan of well-known near-beer
manufacturer: "Near-beer makes
thirst a Measure"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

l. W. WIS held at Leavenworth have
gone on the strike. Perhaps they
want less confinement.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1919-07-26

There isn't much hero-worship be-
for breakfast, but lets try to be
pleasant anyway.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
HINTS FOR
POULTRY GROWERS

The first step to eradicate the pests
which live in cracks and crevices in
poultry houses Is to thoroughly clean
he house, writes p. F., SchOwengerdt
If the Colorado Agricultural college.
All litter, nest material and droppings
should be removed. Then spray or
paint thoroughly the entire surface Of
the house and literally flood all cracks
and inside Of nests with per cent
solution Of cresol. Use plenty of
spray and do the work thoroughly.
Finally 1t should be remembered that
one application of either of these treat
ments is not sufficient. Where there
are lice and mites there are Also eggs
or "nits" Of these same pests. A Sec
ond treatment should be given about
one week after the first. By this time
the snits" will be hatched and the
treatment will affect them while it did
not kill the "nits" at the first applica-
ton.
These suggestions followed out will
relieve the hen of the greater number
Of parasites and will .enpble her to
make the best possible Use Of her feed
and time. 1t Is not profitable to feed
hen when lice or mites are sapping
all the nourishment and vitality from
her body.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Damascus, Oldest City, Known :
as "The Pearl of the East"

= Called by orientals "the Pearl Of
the East" Damascus is the oldest city
in the world which is inhabited. It is
mentioned repeatedly In the Old Tes.
lament, and documentary evidence
shows that the ancient city dates back
to 1400 b. G. Travellers refer to it as
"dear. dirty Damascus" for It's odOrs
are many and strong, and Its street
cleaners have long ceased to work.
One of the city'ss smain features is "the
street which Is called Straight." which
runs from east to west. Damascus has
been the scene of many conflicts since
David sent an expedition against It
and took 1t with a slaughter of $1,000
men. Egyptians, Crusaders and Turks
fought so repeatedly for II that 1t has
become the most captured as well as
the Oldest city In the world.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
MENTION 0N|BLACKHAWKCOUNC|L|

Mrs. Fred Kruse went to Denver yes
terday afternoon.
Mrs. ]. e. Lightbourn went to Den
yer yesterday to have some dental worl
done.
Mr.. and Mrs. e. L. Clark were pas.
sengers to Denver yesterday.
Harry and Jake Eilmann were called
to Denver Tuesday morning on account
of the serious Illness of their brother
Henry. He died before they arrived.
DR.. G. N. Towers and wife spent Sat.
urday in Denver
w. B. Wheeler went to Denver Tues
day morning.
Capt. Thomas Pearce came up from
the valley Tuesday and will reside in
the county permanently.
Mrs. JShn Hamllik went to Denver
Sunday and came back with the funeral
party that brought up the remains OF
Sam Whitman.
Mrs. John Reilly came up from Dem
yer Monday night. Her mother Is quite
i'll in Nevadaville. \
Mrs. Walter Mcleod returned last Fri
day from Denver. where she had been
attending her mother, Mrs Henry Beck
err who is quite i'll. Mr.. Becker is also
in poor health.
Peter McFarlane and daughter, Mrs.
C. A. Schroeder, ard Mr.. and Mrs.
George McFarlane and daughter came
up from Denver Sunday evening.
Georgetown to attepd tire funeral of
her father.
Alfred Belcher came up from Denver
to attend the funeral of his brother He
formerly resided in Central.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
FARMERS Borrow Large sum
From Government Farm Loan
Banks Since Organization

Farmers have borrowed $139.37S 900
from the twelve federal farm loan
banks since their organization in
March. 1917. In reporting this the
farm loan board announced that capi.
tai stock Of the banks, originally SUBJ
scribed mainly by the government, has
increased from $9,OOOOO0 to $685.
900 through additional subscriptions
by farm loan associations, aud that
bonds amounting to $14O.122,O 600 have
been issued.
The farmers are making their pay.
ments promptly. The report shows
only $4,000 in loans was overdue. and
delinquencies occurred almost entirely
in sections where there had been crop
failures.
Three banks, Wichita, Spokane and
Houston, have an actual surplus, and
the Spokane and st. Paul banks will
begin shortly to repay the government
for the stock originally subscribed.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
PAST STILL VITAL IN JAPAN
Why<Ancient Heroes Are Able to Ex-
ert an Enormous Influence on the
Peoples Minds.

No wonder that Japan's past is liv-
Ing past, Gertrude Emerson writes in
Asia Magazine. The ancient heroes
are not dead,N but exert their subtle
influence through the intimate contacts
OF the daily life of the people. one
meets them under thousand guises-
as legends imprinted on the common
biue and white towels upon which the
people wipe their hands, as the ever.
fresh Inspiration for artists in choos-
ing subjects for their paintings, in the
commemoration festivities at the count
less temples, in the illusions scattered
through the Hundred Poems" famil.
lar to the lips of every man, woman
and child in Japan, reappearing in the
classic "Noh" dramas inherited from
the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries.
In the popular theaters, and, finally, so
that no one may escape, in the mo.
vies." All the really cultural roots of
Japan are buried deep In the past, and
although the Japanese student of to-
day Is thrust unceremoniously into a
modern school system Of western der
ivation. his western education sits but
hghtiy upon him. He never breaks
free OF his own inherited Influences.
which are peculiarly strong, his own
angle Of vision, which still has its
feudal slant.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Restaurants in Other Lands
Serve Meals at Low Prices; .
Show Good Weekly Profits

American fried-egg financiers and pie
ntutocrats should take warning from
abroad, suggests Thrift Magazine. The
Rational restaurant of London, which
was established to expose tbs prof.
teerS, shows Il profit of S356 a week
OF about 10 per cent on the investment.
Lunches and suppers are sold for 25
cents and tea and breakfast for 15
cents. There is q profit of about two
1'nts on each meal. The cooperative
restaurant idea also has taken root in
Paris, where ten publicly controlled
restaurants, each seating 1000 per.
sons, are selling good meals for about
20 cents each.
In the average American restaurant
to-day man has to play a mean trick
an his appetite if he expects TO have
much left out of dollar after main
aining contact with full meal.
Statistics show that there are 9,QhO,.
tu persons who subsist in American
restaurants from day to day. Among
iiiis vast army of bacon-and-egg ex.
re,ts there are many, no doubt, who
would be glad to see the daily menu
taru speak in more conciiatory ac
eents on the subject of hash and other
fZxures.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Topography of Our Country
Responsible for Tornadoes,
Explanation Of Scientists.

y Why do some portions Of the United
States suffer from tornadoes, or cy-
clones, us they are generally but erro-
ncously called, while others do not7
The question is answered, notes a
writer in Peoples Home Journal,
by scientists of the United States
weather bureau, who point to the topOg-
mphy of our country in explanation.
Tornadoes occur in the Mississippi
valley, anywhere from the Gulf Of
Mexico to the Canadian line. No pOr-
tion Of this area is more apt to suffer
than another, the experts assert. This
valley opens to the warm waters Of
the gulf on the south and is closed in
en- the west by the high wall of the
Rocky mountains. Warm, moisture
laden winds from the gulf move north
ward in the spring and early summer
and encounter the cold north and
east wall of the Rockies. When the
opposing currents meet there is some-
times formed one of those rapidly re-
rolving, funnel-shaped clouds SO de-
structive of life and property.
TornadoeS travel southwest to north
east, and, in addition to their terrific
Thirling movement, which is too great
TO be measured, have forward We
loclty of from 80 to 60 miles an hour.
Their path may be from few hundred
yards to a mile in width.
The word tornado" at first spelled
-rernado," probably was derived from
the Spanish tronada, which means
thunderstorms. Tornado" may have
grown out of an attempt to combine
ahis word with the Spanish word tor
htr, meaning to turn" thus making 1t
descriptive of storm that turned or
twisted.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Belief That You Are Tired,
Not Work, Makes You Tired

"TRe thing that makes the tired
business man tired is his belief that
he is tired. Believe the contrary.
There have been times when you
worked all day and all night on a
stretch. 1t did not kill you. Work IT.
self. says American Magazine. as the
modern business world is organ.
lied, cannot possibly tire out the man
of average normal health. II II
could. Edison would have, been dead
at the age of thirty-five, Bell would
never have produced the telephone,
Henry Ford would not be now king
Of the automobile business, Herbert
G. Hoover would not be controlling and
directing the nations food supply to-
day, Woodrow Wilson would be in a
sanitarium, General Pershing would be
taking a rest cure instead of com.
mandlng American soldiers in France" I"
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
AUTO IS ENTITLED TO
THREE WOUND STRIPES
Orderly Tells Of Experiences I'm.
der Fire With General
Edwards Automobile,

Maj. Gen. Clarence r. Edwards au.
tomobile Is entitled to three wound
stripes, according to Corp. Harold
Soane, his orderly. General Edwards,
Cleveland man. Is commander of the
department of the Northwest, with
headquarters at Boston.
"Once shell exploded so near the
car that 1t was torn to pieces" Cor
pOral SOane says. 1.-THE general had
just left the car. Another time shrap-
mel hit the side. We are saving pieces
of 1t for souvenir"
Other tales Corporal Soano tells
are:
"At Moulin Boche In a French
plane began shelling the generals
headquarters at night. So he went
into the dugout and slept with his
men.
Probably the narrowest escape Gem
eral Edwards had from death was ut
Verdun. There was u heavy barrage,
but he insisted on staying at the front.
Shrapnel exploded but few yards
away, but he was not even shaken up.
I'm lucky boy. a lucky boy he muir
INJURED, as he hurried on to the
trenches.
although as commanding officer
he had the choice of quarters, life at
the front was not always a bed of
roses. Near Chateau Thierry 1 could
find only an ill,smelling cellar for the
general to sleep In. After we had
been there three or four nights we
found that the odor came from the
bodies of four Germans buried under
debris close by his bed"
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Welcome Gift.

A learned professor often became
so Interested in his lecture that when
the noon bell rang he kept the class
hve or ten minutes over the hour.
Some of the students decided to give
him a gentle hint. and accordingly
bought an alarm clock, which they set
to go Off precisely at noon. and the
next time they came in to one of his
lectures placed 1t on the desk, trust.
Ing that as he was somewhat absent.
minded he would not notice 1t. When
the noon hour struck the alarm clock
went Off with crash. Very quietly
the professor waited until the alarm
was over; then. turning to the class.
he said: Gentlemen. l thank you for
this little gift; had quite forgotten
1t was my birthday. An alarm clock
Is something my wife has been want
Ing Tor some time. It Is very kindly
remembrance on your pnrtw He then
calmly proceeded to finish the demon
stration.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
RABBITS DO THEIR BIT
Many Of Them Turned Into Cash for
the Red Cross.

Many Of Them Turned Into Cash for
the Red Cross.
Practically every town and county
in western Kansas is having what is
called Red Cross hunt this month.
Rabbits are unusually plentiful
throughout the West, and real rabbit
drives are being held, all of the rab-
bits sold for shipment to the East
ern states and the money is turned
over to the Red Cross fund.
The other day drive was held near
Zurich, and more than 600 rabbits
were killed. They were sold at eight
cents each for shipment to New York
and other Eastern points, where 1t is
said they are retailing at rs cents each.
while jackrabbits are selling at 81.
In the Zurich hunt. people from all
the surrounding counties participated,
some coming as much as 30 miles, re-
garding 1t as their patriotic duty.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
TOO BIG FOR UNIFORM
Soldier in the Army for Many Months
in Citizen Clothes.

Riley Rucler, a Linn county, Oregon,
young man, has. served more than four
months in the United States army and
has had no uniform.
Rucker is six feet four inches tall,
and weighs over 800 pounds. He went
to Camp Lewis last fall with selec-
tive service contingent. For one month
he was in quarantine. Then he was
placed in the depot brigade and re-
ported for uniform. Nothing could
be found TO fit him. His measurement
was taken and orders sent East for. a
special uniform. When it finally came
hucker could not get into it,
Rucker was measured again, and
this time definite instructions accom-.
panied the order The uniform was
made, but before it was started, from
the East to Camp Lewis came the sign
ing of the armistice. Rucker has ar
rived home, in civilian attire, dis
charged.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
LITTLE GIRLS CAPTURE
Child Followed q Bicycle and Had q
Man Arrested.

wan ATTooke0.
Ontario, Cal, boasts of the youngest
apprehender Of criminals on record in
the person SOf Mabel Morton, four
years of age.
Louis Garcia, a Mexican. who owes
his capture to the little girls bravery.
was given 80 days In Jail by an On
tariO justice for the theft of bicy-
Gle.
Mabel was playing on the lawn Of
her home when Garcia approached.
She didn't like his looks, she said
later, SO she hid behind u rose bush.
Garcia walked up to the house, and,
believing himself unobserved, took the
bicycle. When he left with 1t the girl
followed, and in tho heart Of the city
ran up to him, grabbed hold of a
sweater he was wearing. and hung on
when he tried to shake her Off. Men
who ran to the scene learned the
story, and Garcia was arrested.
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
INFANT TORN TO PIECES
Bears Fell Upon the LIttle-0 Girl In q
Park

Park.
The twO-year-old daughter OF Mr..
and Mrs. Daniel NJ. willard was liter
ally torn to pieces by two big bears
in park ut Venice. Cal, while the
mother and another small daughter
looked on recently, according to in
formation received by friends here.
The child, while walking through
the park with her mother and sister.
went too near the cage where the
bears were confined. One Of the
bcasts grabbed the child and dragged
1t Through the bars. One Of the
child's legs was torn on and the sec
ond bear had jumped on the child's
mangled form when guard shot both
animals. The child died on the way
TO the hospital
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06

b Black Hawk. Colo. Feb. 4th. 1919.
A regular meeting of the city coun-
Gil of the city of Black Hawk was call
ed to order by Mayor Crook. Aldermen
present. Moyle. Perley. Nordlien. wher-
ry; absent. Rundquist and Daley.
Minutes Of the last regular meeting
were read and approved as read
Reports of marshal, treasurer and
clerk were read. On motion of Alder
man Nordlien. seconded by wherry.
that the reports be accepted and placed
on file,
The following bills were presented:
Jacob Krell. marshars salary
and fees ...t. :. :. IS 1880
Hazel B. Tabb. treasurer's COM
missions =. 7H
Geo, s. Hewes. clerks salary. 1850
Gilpin Observer. printing ........ 14.H
Gilpin Co. l.. II. & p. Co., lights 49, So
George L.. Hamllik. births and
deaths :, =. 400
Gilpin observer., 1919-02-06
Enouohness.

did that burglar say: Enough
when you attacked him?" asked Mr..
poian.
"Of course he did" answered Mr..
Rafferty,. "Why wouldn't he say,
TnoughT He had as much swag as
he could carry and was trying to hold
IN to every bit of IT,"