South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-01-19

polite chiyalry,
A New York grand jury has in
dicted a poet for treason. We sus-
pect il is a case Of faulty diagnosis.
! ne has boiled cabbage lyric in his
I system.
! II you think a rich man never has
any sorrows or troubles. just listen
to one rendering his property at the
tax assessors office. and IL you have
a heart in you. you will slip him a
quarter TO get something TO eat.
The dog catcher Of Tulsa is said 10
get $1,000 a month in fees. and the
city is demanding a division OF the
profits. Surely dog catching can not
be so profitable. Maybe he gets
that much in fieas.
! IL is said American soldiers are
forbidden to converse with the Ger
rules like that. Tongue tie 'em and
they will make signs at one an
other.
Mary PicI1ford, who has influenza,
! is said TO be improving. but you
know that influenza can't possibly
improve the World & Co.'S sweet
heart.
/ t-fostfpg p,ecfav Iod,. dooIo,oo
that American ad writer's are poets
We suppose she would call the
white Sale" window dressers scenic
artists.
Mishawaka officers took several
gallons from suitcases. You know,
there are times when we suspect it
will become necessary to prohibit
anything but transparent suitcases.
A girl should be so careful in
choosing her life partner that. il
she did not know him before April
6. 1917, she would decline to accept
him until he has passed the civilian
clothing test.
That's right-give the foreign
born anarchist what is coming 10
him, providing you remember that
the native anarchist deserves punish
ment twice as severe.
Washington reports that there are
now but 100000, 900 gallons of dis
titled spirits remaining in the coun-
try But it isn't remaining judging
by the returns from this country.
| Don't be too quick to criticise old
lClemenceau and France. Theory is
one thing and fact is another. France
has suffered grievously and you can't
exect her TO lay aside her gun read
lily.
They have found one woman i'm
New York who had married seven
soldiers. The Ancient and Almaga-
mated order of Old Maids ought to
take action on cases like this. If
these fair polyandrists are permit
ted to ply their matrimonial arts in
this fashion there will not be hus-
bands to go round.
We incurred the enmity of the To-
I cal Salvation Army captain because
we stated last Sunday he was out
TO raise $40, 1000 with which TO pur-
chase a block Of city property. We
should have said 5000. This sum is
SO trifiing TO linotype operators these
days. we believe they thought we
must have been mistaken. and dou-
bled the amount.
Those crazy jane roughhouse suf-
fragets in Washington are in Jail
again. We wish there was some
way TO change those damsels into
males for about two days. so that it
would be possible to apply heroic
remedies that the rules Of chivalry
do not permit to be administered to
ladies.
We have been in Europe. and Mr..
Wilson's experience prompts US to
believe that we are just devilish
enough that il we go to the contin-
ent again we would rather go to
Paris and rip up the highspots the
Paris way then go 10 Rome and do
as the Roman does.
Ii looks very much 10 us as if
those Russian bolshevists have ny
drophobia inside as well as out.
There are some very attractive
January white sales in Mishawaka
and we never miss the show win
dows in lingerie time because there
are many dainty, lacy funny and ex-
! tremely pretty things displayed that
we don't know the names Of. as
nothing OF the sort was ever strung
on our neighbours clotheslines when
we we're young
Or. Ostrander says very few phv-
sicians used whisky in treating in
fiuenza. Very little whisky is used
in Mishawska now in any kind OF
treating. they tell us
The signing OF the armistice did
not need to bring a halt to the great
| work OF dehyphenatsng the bupr,