Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-06-07
M@aoEl|Sd3|
@K90H881
Pity the Blind.

Mack Sennett is sending a bunch of his
bathing girls around the country to be exhib-
tied in the movie theatres.
A father who recently came to town, leaving
his family in another city, received the fol-
lowing appeal from daughter: Dear Dad:
Since you've been away I've been broke.
Please send money. Mothers SO tight she
sQueaks."
| The boy was just out Of school. son"
said father, while it isn't actually necessary
for you to work l think had better get you
job"
And if you get it," the young man replied.
II suppose it'll be one OF those dollar-a-year-
jobs"
When a baseball pitcher beans a batter it
isn't always correct to refer to it as a bone
head play.
One city has ordered the street cars to
lower the steps as a convenience to the women
who tight skirts. Why not our women
who are keen for the latest, chop their skirts
OFF at the knees and go hoseless, a la Paris ?
Might be little tough on the limbs, but would
be pleasing to the eyes.
Connie Mack plays golf We often won
dered what caused that worried expression.
| There is one ring that the telephone girl
likes. You said it
rou marry" remarked an eastern minister.
We know a man who was, but he isn't any
more. His wife left him. She weighed 1926
pounds.
We wonder if Captain Richmond P. Hobson
doesn't sometimes wish that he could turn back
the pages OF time about twenty years when
he reads about the girls showerIng kisses on
existence for Richard. He's preaching prohi-
bition, you know.
Hearsay.
Sir: I overheard this the other evening:
Billy: How do you know the world is
round?'
Jack: 1T must be; everybody says so"
CROWS.
Some ministers of Philadelphia are protest.
ing against Sunday baseball and kindred
sports If some preachers had their way you
would be arrested for wearing loud necktie.
Everybody talks about the sweet girl grad
uate, but there is never mention of the boy.
Yet we hear so much about equal rights in
this country.
New York pastor says laws can't avert war.
But armies and navies can. brother. And they
won't have to shoot do it. either.
o
French ace up $1,000 feet. breaks rec
ord. says dispatch That's about all he could
break, unless it be his neck
The auto race at the Indianapolis speed
way was the most successful in the history Of
the sport, it is announced. The undertakers
agree.
| The successful candidate for police mag
istrate at a recent election insPrinceton, ILL.,.
swears that his total campaign expenses were
sS.45. And he spent it all in place-with
the printer who supplied his cards.
Sarah J. Walker colored woman is dead
in New York, leaving an estate valued at
$1,000.00O. She made it selling a hair
straightener' to sisters of her race When
she 20 she was left widow and went to
work at the washtub to earn livelihood. Still,
you will hear some people say that all the
opportunities for making money are gone in
this country And her hair straightener WASH :
crooked business, either. 1t did take out the
kinks, so many using it claimed.
Street sprinklng has stopped in Butte.
Mont, because of danger from ice. Not so
here. When the local car is of duty it is for
fear that the water will become overheated
and scald pedestrians.
| About the only thing good for man or beast
that is left untaxed is fresh air. And that does
both more good than ham or bran. Try it out
one of these mornings, getting up with the
birds.
Black Hawk an Indian chief, has been ar
rested for murder in Kentucky. No. He isn't
any relative of the silent old gent who holds
forth in Spencer square.
Dick Little the Chicago Tribune cores
pendent. saws Germany is looking for a goat
animal that you have to ride when you join
the Rock Island Elks lodge