Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1919-07-07
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A Philadelphia is a grandfather at SO. He
advises early marriage. But, he says you've
got to get the right girl. And he might have
added that the girf>has got to get the right
man. The Philadelphia says there isn't a
happier couple in the world than he and his
wife. And they just ordinary folks, no
autos or servants They have four children.
Another bomb under the notion that it takes
money to make happiness. The jack may make
the ". k mare go, but it doesn't buy what you
can get for kindness and smiles
o
The Mexican government is said to be try
ing to purchase several American newspapers
for propaganda purposes. Sounds like another
German conspiracy. But the newspaper that
attempts now to put over any such camoufage
won't get very far. 1t won't last long enough
to get warm. Uncle Sam is organized as he
never was before and he can scent the serpent
for miles.
The prince of Wales. says a California girl
who claims to have been held in the royal arms,
knows how to dance the jazz to perfection.
Well, If he does he'll get sure enough run for
his money when he comes to this country, for
we have here the jazziest tazzers of the uni
verse.
Washington Judge refused to permit a
modiste to try on skirt in his court room to
demonstrate that it had been shortened four
inches by q cleaning process. He awarded $35
damages to the plaintiff. He might have al
onstrate her injury, says H. K.
Mexican aviator remained in the air Is
hours. Probably Villa was in the neighbor-
hood.
Chicago woman wired one Of her home
town papers she saw a quarter million people
on the board walk Saturday night and not one
drunk. Possibly the jags were in their rooms
with ice on their heads. 1t won't be fashion
Gafa oifh tn "a team
these days. so the wise birds will do their bun
ming behind closed doors.
A pretty girl at Aver. Mass. eloped with a
hunchback One could say that he will have to
hump to make a living for two now.
Lightning struck a house in Logansport,
Ind, the bolt travelling through a room occu-
pied by a maid. The head of the household
ran to the room. expecting to find the girl dead.
She was dead-asleep.
New York school boy, after finishing yell
low back novel telling how an outlaw had been
hanged, went into the bathroom to prove to his
own satisfaction that it was possible to take
doctor reported that the boys demonstration
was a success. The family has requested that
flowers be omitted.
California~baby slept four days, then came
TO and is pronounced all right One way of
keeping down the cost OF living
-
The Gould brothers have had fall out. It
is over the W. K root of all evil-moEay. Fa-
Tiers estate Father left too much. There is
so much that it is unwieldy to handle George
and Frank are the sons The pot is score OF
millions. STILL you wouldn't mind a family
scrap if you had such an aggraVation, would
you?
boy with one leg rescued two drowning
girls at Sharon Pa Lots OF men with two per-
" IL
this boy did. II Andy Carnegie has any med
ais left this boy ought to get one
It has been found that four per cent Of hu-
man beings are born left handed Parents
would do well to early learn which wing is
favored by their sons. Think Of the opportuni-
ties in baseball for southpaws-
bottle of ginger ale was used to christen
a ship launched at Newark, N. J. Well, that's
better than wasting IS worth Of the fzz water.
A tramp is blamed for wreck on the New
York Central. He shut of the air. Said it
was too cool.
When you sing THE Star Spangled Banner
these days don't you feel different Jingle in
your veins?
It will soon be recognized as an accomplish
ment to be able to call the names of the diff
ferent drinks originated as substitutes for the
sure enough stun.
And while thinking how you can serve your
neighbor remember even the undertaken lays
himself out to please.
The girls at the seashore are wearing cam
ouhaged bathing suits to keep the sharks from
seeing them. We mean the sea sharks.
A Trenton. N. j., youth attempted to light
cigaret while driving an auto 40 miles an hour
He lit the cigaret, but he didn't finish 1t. The
ear fnished him.
J.MC