Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1919-05-22

oOAACOOOy doh0s 41dfO JO1A AAO 0NA0S'
| think of flowers, and some one hollers,
when will you pay me them ten
dollars?"
Tennyson ]. Daft.
* y s.
Force of habit is almost as hard a
master to some people as rum is said
to be-" commented the landlord of the
tavern at Grudge. Although the post
office moved to it's new location more
than month ago, and, too, though
they never were compelled by law to
do so, most any time o'day bunch
of prominent and influential lunkheads
can be seen standing in the. doorway
of the old postoffice room, patiently
waiting for busy people to come, as
they used to, and scourge past them,
trying to get in"
When Sally danced the shimme one
Sunday on the sand,
1t was giddy, it was gaudy, 1t was
gorgeous and twas grand,
But all alterations apt and artful aid
Would weaken when SpeaKln or WnaC
the deacons said.
Tennyson J. Daft.
* - *
did you ever hear the story about"
began the teller Of interminable tales.
"Yes!" snarled Festus Poster ABOUT
a thousand times.
y -. -
Blushing red, the suitcase SAID,
Mine is a sad condition.
Though innocent of i'll intent,
I'm open to suspicion.
y y i.
Why strut when there are at least
fifty seven Off, 1,;.. 5 - making peo-
pie detest you?
'"Heh -heh!" cracked old Riley RezZi-,
dew. "The Hon. that GRATED at the
ChautauQua last week gave you hot
shot in the Whillersville paper day be-
fore yesterday. Ee said that q more
miZzable roost than this hotel would
be hard to imagine He mentioned by
name the broken fly screens, tattered
curtains, hard beds, grimy towels,
cracked looking glass, sticky salt Gel
lars, and so forth, which he said con-
spired to give him a feeling OF mental
and physical depression that he
could hardly shake off"
"Yes!" grimly replied the landlord
of the Petunia tavern. " appears
that the Honorable liked my hotel al
most as much as l did his lecture"
ITS SOURCE.
Hark! A terrible thunder resounds on
the wings of the wynde,
That makes your kneecaps clatter and
your scalp crawl up behind.
Rut don't in apprehension reach out
for your gun or the AK
It's only stay at-home Stacker roar
ing over his income tax.
-Tennyson J. Daft.
y = =
It is about time for seVen-reel
movie comedy entitled, "The League or
Nations" interpreted by Charlie Chap
lin. Ham and Bud, Fatty Arbuckle ana
Buster Keaton.
y * 81
"And so you're really back!" muir
INJURED girl from the midst or
brOtherly embrace at the Union sta
ton the other day, "and you dadn t
get killed, or married or anything"
y: s. y.
Brother, | am deeiple Of The New
Freedom" announced beWhlskered
and unwashed gent, approaching the
fence over which Gap Johnson Oh
Rumpus Ridge, Ark, was comfortably
draped.
Say you-p'tu! are?" nonchalantly
returned Mr.. Johnson.
Eyes! We Bolsheviki believe in the
rule of the proletariat. The rich must
divide their illgotten boards with us.
We will take by force
Hi. Runt!" called the householder
to one Of his numerous progeny. Skin
into the house and fetch me my gun
I'm going to divide the buckshot IN
It with this yur hairy cuss, and-Well,
I'll be logged, if he amt mighty nigh
to the bend of the road, already!
81 y y
scan the dictionary, and then [
t. sadly sigh.
How great was Noah Webster; how
very small am I!
For know next to nothing, and know
that little wrong,
{. While Noah knew most everything,
and knew it loud and strong.
But there's one consolation that | have
lately found
| shall not grow hump snouldered
from. toting wisdom round,
And folks are not expecting, despite
his thoughts intense,
| To find shyster poet displaying
sense. -TennysOn !. DaIt.
One of the hardest things is getting
up a surprise party for woman whose
telephone is on a rural party Inc.