davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-01
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

Mr.. Man. just suppose

Mr.. Man. just suppose
You were nice, good looking
Young fellow, and you had always
looked forward to some day falling in
love with a charming girl and marry
ing her, and establishing an loeal
home in which you would live happy
ever afterwards.
with the lady of your dreams, and you
fell desperately in love with her. ana
wanted her more than you ever want
ed anything else in your lire, ana you
knew that if you married her, you
would make her just the sort or nus
band she needed-the kind that would
know how to cherish her, and help
her along in the world
But, YOU had to miss getting the
girl whom nature intended for your
mate, because the conventions oluH !
allow YOU to show her that you loved
her or to ask her to be your wire,
and all that you could do was just 70
sit around and look willing, and finaI-
-ly to take any sort of old wife that
wished herself on you
Yet that is the matrimonial handi-
can that every woman has to carry.
Mr.. Man, just suppose
You were an industrious, compe-
tent, highly efficient office man, but
nature had cursed you with snub
nose, and carroty hair. and salaratus
biscuit cOmple8lOHa anu every tAiAAS
YOU applied for a job, you were passed
over for some little movie hero look
ing kid, with cowlike eyes, and
poetic curl in the midst of his white
forehead, and solid ivory underneath
it, because employers expected their
stenographers and bookkeepers to be
living pictures. as well as good spoilers
and accountants.
Or, suppose you were a highly edu-
Gated, intelligent man, who had read
and thought and travelled, but you
were 40 years old, and fat. and had
bald spot coming on the top of your
head, and nobody would invite you to
dinner, except as an act of charity,
altho you could keep a whole table
entertained with your conversation,
because no young woman was willing
to have you saddled off on her at the
dinner party, and when you went to
dances, you had to sit out every one
of them with the grandpapas, because
no pretty young girl could be induced
to dance with you. and the only way
you could get any social attention
was simply by buying it with dinners,
and automobiles and theater tickets.
Yet. that is the sad fate of the
homely woman.
~~I7 T
Copyright, 1919, by the Wheeler Syndicate,
1nc)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-01
THE sHoRTsIGHTED BUSINESS MAN.

THE SHORTSIGHTED BUSINESS MA
He was a business man. and he
Was sharp as any man could be;
When night had put an END TO trade
And chuckle Ger some clever bluff
BY which he'd sold some shoddy stuff.
One day by artfHl ways and cute
He sold a working man suit.
The garment had BEEN poorly made,
He knew the dye in 1t would fade.
He knew the coat would lose its shape,
And hang lust like a womans cape.
Yet when the man went on his way
He thought he'd spent clever day.
Let us now follow while we can
The victim of this clever man.
His wife beholds him and she cries
THAT suits not fit for mortal eyes!
Who sold you such thing as that:"
And low he mutters ''Dooodlebat."
what, Doodlebatg" then answers she.
He'll get no more good coin from me-"
Now comes neighbor and he sees
Those trocsers bagging at the knees
And straightway he must be told
Where such fearful thing was sold.
Il need suit" says he, but oh,
To Doodlebat I'll never 60"
The gentle parson of his flock
Beheld the garment with a shock
And shook his head when he was told
Twas one that Doodlebat had sold
The women when they stopped to chat
Discussed that suit from Doodlebat
Wlfene'ar that shabby suit of blue
In street or hall came into view
1t cost old Doodlebat n lot
OF business that he might have got
1t advertised him far and near
AS one that honest folks should fear,
And Doodlebat, so sharp and slick,
Believed he'd turned a clever triekl
Copyright 1919 by Edgar A. Guest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-01

Postmaster General Burleson final
ly has relinquished his hold on the
wire service of the country. Now If he
could only be pried loose from his
strangle grip on the postal service,
we might all be happy yet.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-01
ON THE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
By ROY K. MOULToN

Futuristic Epitaphs.
Here lies the body Of Johnny Kale,
Death came from drinking too much giner
ale.
Hnried below is Sammy Spier,
He couldn't stand 275 beer.
Planted beneath is. poor. Henry Hick
kick.
Shed a few tears for Bobby Blk,
Reason for death-malted milk.
Say prayer for Old Man Jones.
bis death was caused by ice cream cones.
-Murat Namreh-
Harry Kirsh asks: ''By way of dry
cleaning Brandywine, N. Y, how about
making it Antiwine, n. Y.?"
EIectrifying His Audience.
according to a press dispatch from
Cleveland, Secretary Daniels tried to
deliver a wireless telephone address
from Washington, but lowing to an
electrical storm only the sharp flash of
lightning was audible"
Thru an accident the name of Mr.
John Marnell Edwards, the author
was not used in connection with a
poem entitled ''Takin' Life Easy" We
are pleased to give Mr.. Edwards credit
for a very excellent piece of work.
Now that Old Friend Coal Shortage
is with us once again it looks as tho
we are going to have a normal, old
fashioned winter.
Mexico exports a lot of hemp this
year. 1t seems as tho some of it
should be used at home
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1919-08-01

The current issue of the Milk
Magazine" carries a full page adver-
tisement Of a pump mandatory.
There is nothing suggestive about that
of course.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
Supreme in the Air? NiU 1t Be One
 Nation Or tue League Of Nations?

best routes to follow between various places, where aerOdromes or sea- plane bases should be established, what navigational aids such as kite balloons Corresponding to buoys, light vessels. and lightships), ground signs and lights, wireless stations, etc, etc, are required. The best position for re- fueling depots and the best organiza- tiOn of the many subsidiary services which will be necessary.
 There will be an typographical de partment to deal with the air as the hydrographical department at the ad- mirality deals with the sea.
 There will also be an air technical department to deal with the innum- erable technical problems raised by the pioneer service which will arise, such as landing in fog, dispensing fog, searchlight for cloud-piercing, instru- ments for nothing the exact height above land or water, seXtants. gyro- scopie compasses, etc. The nucleus of this service exists in the technical de partment of the air ministry.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
HIGHWAY WORK MAKES
 PROGRESS PAST WEEK

During the past week the county has through County Engineer Smith, put on some more men and added some more stock to the equipment Especi- ally has the force under foreman Schaeffer been increased. His gang is working on the Palominas road The other county gangs are working on the same as last week On the state work Foreman Chadwick has made good progress towards the Wal nut Gulch wash. A good grade has been secured by Engineer Jenkins and work is going along fine Whether a low bridge will span Walnut Gulch or a concrete dip has not been de eided.
 Work under the highway commis- sion moved forward with good strides this week, as all the contractors have more men and the weather was fine. The TOohey camp, number l, has been moved to a point about one mile from the track crossing where the Benson road will connect with the Tombstone Fairbank road This connection will probably not be right at the old meet ing point because at present the small hill makes it a dangerous crossing and Engineer Miller is now running line | to see if that cannot be eliminated, Chief Engineer Ryan having given or ders to this effect early in the week The big dip on the Benson road about 12 miles west of Tombstone. is be- ing used and it is 490 feet of dip pleas ure to compare with the old sand Wallow of just two weeks back One of the most pleasant surprises on the Tombstone-Benson road is the chang ing hands of piece of land right near St. David, that now belongs to pub lie spirited man, for he has agreed to let the commission have a right-of way across his land and thereby elimi nate the short run on the bridge just north of St. David, which has seen so many accidents and near accidents 4 good turn will be built at that point
 All the way from now on, betweeT Douglas and Bisbee there will be continuous line of advancement in al departments of the building of tha stretch of highway. Eaton and Smitl
 who have the contract for all the construction from Lowell to Pores
 Ranch are lined out in good shap'
 now and Atkins, who has the grading
 for the section between Forest Ranel
 and Forest Station, never has halted
 and is turning drift in rapid fashion ! Oswald. who has the paving ant
 bridges and culverts on the DOugla
 to Forest Station and the bridges an
 culyeTts on. the middle section wit
 the overlap paving on that sectiOl
 also is getting ready to shoot Tn ] most energetic fashion. Tomorrow the committee will open bids tor tn
 Bernadino, new section and the roaC
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
BAD BREATH
Dr. Edwards Olive Tablets Get
 at the Cause and Remove It

Dr. Edwards Olive Tablets, the subSd- tute for calomel, act gently on the bowels and positively do the work.
 People afflicted with bad breath md quick relief through Dr. Edwards Olive Tablets. The pleasant, sugar coated tablets are taken for bad breath bv all who know them.
 Dr. Edwards Olive Tablets act gently but firmly on the bowels and liver, stimulating them to natural action, clearing the blood and gently purifying the entire system. They do that which dangerous calonsl dccs without any of the bed after effects.
 All the benefits of nasty, SickenIng, rrip;nz cathartics are derived from Dr. Edwards Olive Taticts without griping, pain or any diSecrecable effects.
 Dr. r. Nj. E6vardS discovered the formula after seventeen years of pTac' tice among patients afflicted with bowel and liver complaint, with the attendant bad breath.
 Dr. Edwards Olive Tablets are purely a veCetabIe compound mixed with olive oil: YOU will know them by their. olive color. Take one or two every night to' a week and note the effect. 1oc ard 25t Fer box All druggists
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02

The future of the air lies in its power as a means of transport, as an ObliteratOr of international barriers and a means for improving civiliza- tion.
 It is probable that we have here one of the best links yet forged for binding together the League of Ma tions.
 Let us first consider the transport or commercial side. The air will be to transportation what the electric tele- graph was to communication
 The war is now over and the fact that we have a specialized air minis try gives to Great Britain a position of great advantage; if we take action soon we have a moderately good op- portunity of ranking as the predOmi- nant air transport power. l.
 The empire possesses many com petent pilots, many firms and Organi- zations desirous of commencing air routes, but there is little experience in actual aerial navigation under com mercial conditions.
 During the war risks in money and life were taken; in civil flying this will not be permissible, commercial pOtentates do not realize personally what it feels like to be lost in the air, or the exact degree of faith in him. self and the weather that a successful coss-country pilot has to have
 If commercial development in avia- tiOn is left entirely to private firms their experience will be bitter; they
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
FRENCH LEARN TO
 PLAY BALL FROM YANKEE ATHLETES

PARIS. Mar. Ion jeu!"-thats Play Ball!'' in French.
 'RegIes de Baseball" an official guide to the American national game, has just been issued by Prof. P. R. Carpenter. director of sports of the Foyers du Soldat, the American Y, M. c. A. for French soldiers. assisted by Franz MeSsorly, a local enthusi- ast
 The booklet will serve a double pur- pose. It will tell the Frenchman all he needs to know about baseball. in his own language, and it will teach the American in France what his French cousin means when he shouts at the umpire or the players. For the rules and explanations are printed in English also. parallel with the French text.
 When his Umps. otherwise farbiter, is ready to start the game he gives voice to the expression quoted at the head of this piece. LeLanceur or Christie Mathewson, takes his position at the plaque de lanceur. and hurls une balle in the direction of le bat teur, who is lowering about la plaque du but, otherwise known as the home plate
 A strike is une frappe, a fair ball is valide or a faux, according to whether it alights within or without the foul line, and un bunt. is just what the word indicates. The batsman hopes to become coureur de bases or base runner, in which case he will hear le aide de camp. on the coaching lines, bid him Slide, Kelly, slide" an injunction whose French equivalent appears to have been omit ted from this very interesting treatise If le batteur slams the ball to the 1 extra champs or outfield, the hit may prove to be un coupS a deux bases. Il the sphere goes over the fence the hitter scores a point but, which, as all French fans know. is home run
 Professor Carpenter has also just is sued two other interesting booklets
 both in French One is the Reglei T Officielles de Volley Ball. The other } Sports ct Recreations," containing
 brief descriptions of sixteen game popular in America. was complies
 with the cooperation of Dr. George 1
 Meylan. of Columbia University physical department, who worked | the war zone as '. M. c. A. physics
 director.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02

and for the bridge over Silver creek They will also open bids for cement reinforcing steel and culverts. Also bids will be opened for surfacing the lake road between WillcoX and Co chise. and also for the construction of a natural dirt drain and graded road between Pearce and Cochise on the west side of the Arizona Eastern railroad. This piece of road will not have single culvert in it, but all water will be handled with dips. When completed the autoist can kiss the adobe flats in that locality good bye and he can travel with speed rom Pearce to Coehise, because the dlps wifi permit all travel without trouble
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
GREAT BRITAIN By General Seeley
BISBEE CARPENTER
 BOASTS WAR RECORD

With five sons who enlisted either in the army or navy, and he himself Spanish-American war veteran, w. " McCleary of Bisbee, can well afford to boast of his family's war record.
 NIT. McCleary, who resides in Brew cry Gulch, and who is employed as a carpenter at the Holbrook shaft, said yesterday he was proud to say that each of his sons enlisted for service, and with the exception of Mike, the eldest boy, every one of his sons saw foreign service.
 the sons and where they are serving for Uncle Sam:
 Mike, age 2S years, is stationed at Nogales, in the quartermaster's de partment
 Frank, age 26 years, is in the ambu- lance corps on the front in France
 Kirt. age 24. and Billy, age IS, are with the 15Sth Infantry in France, while Clay, age 20, is serving in the navy He was formerly attached to the Asiatic fleet serving in European waters. While sailing on the U- $. transport Tchikembang, three torpe- does were fired at them from sub marine although each of the torpedoes missed.
 w. V. McCleary, the father of these boys, was a first sergeant in the Spanish-American war and helped tC recruit large numbers of men, Clay Green. a brother to Mrs McCleary was killed in the Spanish-AmericaI war at the age of 30. At the time ol his death he was orderly for Colone Roosevelt and it was during th' charge up San Juan hill that Cla, Green was Killed. Mrs McCleary Il the proud owner of several persona ! letters written her by the forme
 president touching upon the death O
 her brother
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02

 will lose lives. shake public confidence and retard progress.
 They do not know exactly what sort of meteorological information it. is ne cessary to obtain, nor how to obtain and distribute it.
 How much commercial sea traffic, for example, would there be in the English channel in winter if there were no buoys no Ightships. no har- bors, no soundings. and no knowledge of the tides2 In that small section only, as the result of experience gain ed by the loss of many thousands of lives and the expenditures of many millions of money, any competent firm can now run lines of steamers within scheduled times.
 The knowledge of the winds is al most as essential to the efficient navi- gation of the air by either lighter or heavier-than-air craft, as it was in the old days to the navigation of sailing ships and it is indeed conceivable that the old charts showing the tracks for the low-powered sailing ships will again be found useful for the air as a basis for air navigation.
 For this purpose the most import ant work of Mir. Winston Churchilrs commercial subsection will be that oi an air pioneer service.
 The chief function of this section will be to develop those routes which our commercial or military strategy show to be desirable.
 It will endeavor to investigate the
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
Commission BiU
 WiU Become LaW
CBy Review Leased wire)

PHOENIX, AriZ., Mar. lone Of the bils fathered by the state corpora tion commission to give that body fur ther control over investment compa- nies, passed its final reading in the senate late today and was ordered transmitted to the house.
 Buchanan brought down a bill in the senate to provide an appropriation of SSO.OOO with an annual maintenance fund of S7,5OO to build and run high school for colored children. As the state law now stands, provision is made for separate classes for colOred children in high schools where there are enough to form class, but those who favor of the Buehman bill say It would be preferable to have one state high school to be attended by all col ord pupils throughoutArizona
 Three relief measures were intro duced by the appropriations commit tee. the rules were suspended and they were sent to final reading. The three accounts represented old bills whicf the appropriations committee wished to clear from the books.
 Private dancing lessons at all hours Mrs. Sales Academy, O. K street
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02

Private dancing lessons at all. hours Mrs. Sales Academy, O. K street. Phone 1S2.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
DON'T FUSS WITH
 MUSTARD PLASTERS!
Musterole Works Easier, Quicker
 and Without the Blister

There's no sense in mixing mess of mustard. four and water when you can easily relieve pain, soreness or stiffness with a little clean, white Musterole.
 Musterole is made of pure oil of mus tard and other helpful ingredients, com bined in the form of the present white ointment. It takes the place of out-of- date mustard plasterS and will not blister.
 Musterole usually gives prompt relief from sore throat, bronchitis, tonSihtiS, croup. stiff neck, asthma, neuralgia, head ache, congestion, pleurisy, rheumatism, lurnbaeo. pains and aches of the back or joints. sprains, sore muscles, bruises, chill plains. frosted feet, colds of the chest lit often prevents pneumonial.'
 soc and soc jars hospital size S2.50.
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
BRITISH AVIATOR TELLS OF HIS COUNTRIES
 AIR PROGRAM AND HOPES
By CECIL L'ESTRANGE MALONE

Colonel British Royal Member of ParIiam
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
COLDS INTERFERE
 WITH BUSINESS
pr. Kings New Discovery Relieves Them and Keep You Going
 on the Job

Fifty continuous years of almost un- failing checking and relieving coughs, colds and kindred sufferingS is the proud achievement of Dr. Kings New Discovery.
 Grandparents, fathers, mothers, the kiddies-all have used and are using it as the safest, surest, most pleas ant-to-take remedy they know of.
 Sold by all druggists everywhere
Bisbee daily review., 1919-03-02
Keep Bowels on Schedule

Late. retarded functioning throws the whole days duties out of gear Keep the system cloanscd. the appe- tite lively. the stomach staunch with Dr. Kings New Life Pills Mild and tonic in action Sold everywhere.
Evening journal., 1919-03-21
Stars and Stripes, Year Old,
Prints Half Million Papers

N. E. A. Special to The Evening Journal
PARIS, March 2i.-Stars and Stripes
the newspaper OF the American expe-
ditionary force. has Just entered its
second year. It's first issue, It now ad-
mits, was short Of the 10000 II was
supposed to be. II now clrculates
more than 10000 copies. and is limited
to that only by the scarcity Of white
paper. It IS going all over the world,
even the American forces on the Muir
man coast In Russia. The money bor-
rowed Of the general stan 10 start the
paper has been paid back.
says the anniversary number.
almost every line Of the FIRST num-
Der was written between errands by
one buck private working in the Office
of field press headquarters at Neufcna-
teau. Its cartoons we're done at odd
times on still odder scraps OF paper up
in Damblaine, where the Marines were
somewhat cngrossed with the prepare
tions for their first invasion Of the
trenches.
'The present Office, over the Ameri-
can Chamber Of Commerce in Paris,
seems like Madison Square Garden
when compared with the FIRST office OF
the Stars and stripes, where, in a hall
Evening journal., 1919-03-21
JAZZ TO REPLACE
The FLOWING BOWL
Dorothy Dixon. Dancer,
Writes Two Step Called
prohibition Jag
SEES LIVELY NEW
YORK JUST THE SAME
BY DOROTHY DIXON.
Famous Dancer Now Extracting New
yorl. in ssTbc RoVaI Nauabondn %

York in "Tho Royal NagabOnd."
on with the booze and on with the
iszz
The exit Of Bacchus means the fresh
enthronement of terpsichOre.
Ia other words, prohibition is goins
% start the greatest dance craze
America has ever known-a bigger
craze than that inspired by the Castles
before the great war
Perhaps I am not IN favor Of prohibit
tlon-I don't knOw-but If prohibition
IS going 70 mean a revival Of dancing
then I am certainly for t.
They say that New York will be so
sad after June 80 that people will have
no heart for dancing. I don't believe
-. / have not the slightest doubt that
the grill rooms, the rathskellers and the
cabarets Of Gotham will be as popular
centers Of recreation and dancing under
prohibition as they are now under the
wet regime
In fact, with great sobriety, with the
lack Of stimulant taken from the glass,
] am convinced that the people will take
20 the dance 10 MI the vacuum.
The Jazz Will take the place OF the
flzz
In anticipation Of the good times
coming ! am now working on a new
dance that ! am going TO call the
prohibition Jag"
Evening journal., 1919-03-21
TRENCH WOULD KEEP
SUBMARINE FOR WAR

n. E. A. Special to the Evening Journal.
PARIS, March 2i.-Figaro. French
newspaper. protests against the elimi-
nation Of the submarine as a weapon
Of warfare. "Our geographical situa-
tion compels US to devote most Of our
expenditure to national defense and TO
keep up our land army. Our navy will
always be proportionately weaker. In
these circumstances the submarine IS
for US an Indispensable weapon"
Evening journal., 1919-03-21

bedroom in the Hotel ST. Anne, the or
iginal i've got out the early numbers,
with a cavalryman as the treasurer,
counting over the first francs on one
beer table and Wally drawing his dern
cartoons on another. There the small
staff wrote their pieces, corrected
them. made up the pages, folded,
wrapped and addressed the papers, and
then carried them OF 20 the train"
Evening journal., 1919-03-21
MILLIONS OF RUSSIAN
corn Is IN SxXFDV>

n. E. A. Special to The Evening Journal
STOCKHOLM. March 81. - Swedish
banks are holding S50.0O0.000 OF Rus
sian gold, sent to Sweden for safe keep
Ing by governments which have sue
ceeded that Of the Gear. Now that Rus
STA is broken up into a dozen govern
ments. the Swedish banks refuse TO pay
IL TO the original depositors, as they no
longer represent Russia. Preliminary
inquiries have beeh made by British
authorities as TO the possibility of hav-
Ing the money paid over on Russia's
debt TO the British.