Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1919-10-17


who are Intentionally bad or stingy
husbands, or who marry girls for the
purpose of making their lives miser-
able-as many wives contend in their
letters to me. They merely lack the
power of getting their wives point of
view-these good, kind, blind men"
who cause SO much unhappiness.
They are lacking in vision; they
are unable to see anything beyond
their own noses. Their job, meals.
rest, make up the whole world; they
never stop to think of how many peo-
pie are sacrificed to make their cycle
of job, meals, recreation, rest. pos
sible. They never stop to consider
the price the wife's services would
bring as a working housekeeper in
the open market, though 1T is
brought hame to them sharply at
times by the death of the woman
who never had anything to do but
'the few things about her own
home"
Such Husbands Lack Sympathy
Besides lacking vision, such men
are deficient in sympathy. They are
unable to grasp how deadly and
dangerous is the daily round OF
cooking. dishwashing, scrubbing,
washing and ironing not to mem
ton the care of children. They
see only that "she" does rot have
to work outside of her own home;
that she has food, shelter and
clothes, and these things to the hus-
band-lacking in vision and SYM
pathy-"the paradise enough"
He does not realize that when a
woman nags and is peevish it is
her tired, overwrought nerves that
are goading her, and not her ugly
disposition" Women have written
me letters saying there is no re-
like q camping trip. There in spite
of the God-given out-of-doors, there
are meals to be prepared, eaten,
washed up after, and the same pro-
gram started all over again. The
preparation and clearing up after
meals then dawns on the masculine
mind with true significance. 1t is
not the trifling pastime it appears 10
be when someone else does it.
sympathy means UNDERSTANDING it
means the power of valuation, it
means the gift of saying the right
word at the right time. For this
woman will cheerfully face poverty,
hard work and drab monotony. And
1t is lack of sympathy on the part of
the husbands-the feeling that men
NAN Niitlb WOiH6n COI1l
init the wholly unaccountable crimes
that fill us with horror.
A woman on trial for her life the
other day-she had shot her two
year-old son, of whom she was ieaI-
ous-testified that her husband had
no sympathy with her.
II is lack of sympathy that leads
unhappy wives to seek the society
of other men. They are plain lone
some, these women who are sup
posed to forego all desire for COM
panionship, recreation, little trips
and amusements as soon as they are
married. Husbands do not realize
1T, but often their wives have no COM
panionship in their own homes. Their
husbands will not talk to them
they rudely read the paper or be-
come engrossed in something e.se.
When woman tries to tell her hus-
band about something in which she
is vitality interested, he yarns, looks
bored or openly scoffs at her.
And she takes to the unwhole-
some habit of brooding in silence.
He is not in sympathy with any
thing she is doing, or aspires to do.
His sole concern is how cheaply she
can run the house, and yet people
wonder that one marriage in every
ten ends in divorce.
1t is sympathy, and sympathy
alone, that makes the relationship
or marriage possible. 1t bridges the
raging flood of differing tempera-
ments; it takes the weariness from
the daily treadmill; 1t offers heal
ing pity for the sings and arrows
of outrageous fortune" and there is
no real marriage without it.
This is the secret of why so many
women will stick to the scapegrace
husband through thick and thin. He
may be deficient in all the other
virtues, but if he possess this one
saving grace of sympathy she counts
herself blessed among women.