davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08

speech that Tinney murmurs and splutters along In
and always wins big laugh:
Yes, l like the moving pictures. go to see
Theda Bara Yes. go to see her every day
(sllght ripples of laughter). Every day see her
(pause and with rapid cxctement) and she's always
fighting for her honor tsudden storm OF laughter)
always fighting for her honor and she al
ways wins renewal of laughter). but haven't given
up hope keep going SHE
CAN'T ALWAYS VIM (Shrieks Of laughter: audi
ence refuses to subside for two minutes).
"our military jokes. the good ones. all came from
our army camps" said Tinney. One speech always
gets laugh. 1t is spoken slowly in trench
scene, with the stage dark and the German guns
booming. Tinney tells the commanding officer:
1.-THE Germans will come where AM
They might come where WAS"
Another army joke that goes big is when Tinney
is asked Were you drafted?" he replies
81 don't know that they missed any. but
] wasn't drafted" and then in tone OF having had
a great distinction bestowed him. General Crowder
selected me-" tstorm of lausher)
problems.
"If eight worked three days cutting down
tree, how long would II take to cut IL DOWN."
a student asked
Like Mrs. whifnetree's little boy, this student
wasn't to his in arithmetic He thought long
and earnestly. Then he wrote:
THE tree having already been cut down by eight
men, could not be cut down by six men,"
BEESLL BE THERE
southern from Sunday service look
ing greatly pleased.
Dat sermon sho' comfort" he told his friend
'foh de pahson said dat 1eaben was flown' wild milk
an honey An II dey liz honey dar dey sho' mus be
bees an whar bees is dey's always watermion in
season--bless dc Lord.-Boston Transcript
Editor Wen Say So
l can't begin to tell you how nervous my grand
mother Is. She upstairs and hides under the
every time she Johnnyjumpup in the yard
B. b.
Editor Wen Say So
I know you will laugh at me and say ] am silly
but / just can't help it. I shake like a leaf every
time l hear tree bark.--Hazel Bush.
New York's Fifth footmen are talking of strik
ing and. gosh how dread IT, Fifty or more Der.
will tell us the foomen putting up a kick
But, the shoe dealer remarked 81 always show
the customers the latest last first"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08
Miracles

BY EDMUND VANCE COOKE
Do I believe in the miracled sign
As wrought by the ancient prophet?
Tho miracled water turned to wine
That the wedding-guest might quaff IL?
Miracled fishes and loaves of bread.
And Lazarus miracled back from the dead,
Or any miracle heard or read?
Well, pray you, why should / scott it?
For I looA- up thru my miracle eyes
To the miracle skies above me.
Then i look at you and I realize
miracle for and of me-
Something has turned my blood TO wine,
Something has laid your lips on mine,
Greatest OF miracles! this its sign,
That you alive and love me!
Copyright, 1919, n. Il. Al
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08
Keep Convalescents at Lewis

The following communication from the Mitchell
Nursery Co. to the Commercial clubs of the Pacific North
vest speaks for itself:
I'VE would like to call your attention to the fact that
hundreds of convalescent soldiers being sent from
Camp Lewis to the Letterman hospital at San Francisco
eastern states Many of these soldiers have relatives and
friends in the Pacific Northwest home towns and their
convescence has undoubtedly been fastened by the at
tenton and of their families and friends in this section
Aside from this Camp Lewis has of the best equipped
base hospitals in the United States, the greater part OF
which is unused. 1t has also splendid sewer and
water systematic being exceptionally fine and pure
while the water of many Of the California cities is
torousy bad Camp Lewis has also been officially acknow
edged by the to be the most beautiful canton
ment in the United States.
'The Pacific Northwest has the finest summer climate
IN the world and Camp Lewis almost ideal con-
ons for the rapid of soldiers suffering from
nervous Affections shell shock and wounds There is no
tonic equal the COOL invigoratng air from snow
covered mountains and salt inland There is probably
place the world where such unbroken refreshing sleep
can be had in the Puget Sound region.
by making vigorous protest against the Punishment
Of convaescent soldiers from Camp Lewisaway from
their home towns fathers mothers sisters wives and
ends-we have unusual opportunity to bring to public
restoration to health matter of fact instead of send
Ing convaescen soldiers away from here they should be
brought to Camp Lewis in large numbers from other sec
ons recuperate from their wounds and other ailments
except perhaps the of lung troubles where hot
dry climate is preferable. The cooperation and backing
u the medical associations of the entire Northwest should
Be enlisted in this cause
Councilman Carroll suggests city mutation to the
Irish president to speak here Seconded doubt By
Councilman Fitzgerald, and approved by the police de-
p0rtntent.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08
The Kirkland Ferry Route

A shorter route from Kirkland to the downtown dis
trct of Seattle has been proposed for the King county
ferry 1t ought to be adopted The proposed from
Kirkland to the south end of Lake Union instead of
Madison park at present The shorter the distance the
better-and the economical for the ferry Also
The change would bring passengers quicker the center
of the downtown distrctand that, too is item
little consequence.
Baker says the troops oiU be icithdra,cn "as soon
the to American life and property along the
& Rio Gronde has been removed." The doughboy Is in
for lifetime Job.
Perhaps it has occurred to you that Villa is appeal
ing to the Mexican people the head of the govern
Ment
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08

they say lots Of
snappy stuff.
these young
men with gray
hair--these good
listeners - they
bring II back to
us - the snappy
stuff - and we
put II In the
shows on Broad
way"
These honest
confessions came
fro m Captain
Frank Tinney as
he sat In his
blackface make
up between acts
Of "Attaboy."
You X n o "
tn at d an d y
speech / pull
a b out Theda
Bara?" he said.
Nobody made
that up. We
first heard II on
the wet special
train that leaves
Washington ev-
cry day for Bal
tifnore."
This is tn c
T h O d a Bar q
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08

The snappy stuff you hear In the shows that come
from Broadway-we don't make that up out Of our
hcads-we don't have time to think up all the jokes
and chatter.
I'VE hire listcners--young men with gray hair-and
they out to clubs picnics clam bakcs. fish fries
any place where people happy and foolish-where
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08
Tides
BY EDDMUND VANCl

BY EDDMUND VANCE COOKE
Autocracy is the great waves high crest
To beat down you and me and all the rest
While Bolshevsm is the undertow
To mire US by its treachery below.
In neither is there hope for you and me,
But In the free sweep of democracy,
Ruled by opinions ebb and reasons flow,
Unawed above, nor menaccd from below.
Copyright. 1919, n. e. Al
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1919-07-08

Councilman Carroll suggests city mutation to the
Irish president to speak here Seconded, doubt By
Councilman Fitzgerald, and approved By the police de-
partntent.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

prejudiced against him now, and II
have 70 lose IN this case I want TO
feel that I am losing 20 a better man.
See? And as for supporting you. my
dear girl. II you'll marry ne I can
move mountains. Coming down 10
facts and figures. dad tried out my
little invention for regulating over
heat IN the factory last month and II
is a complete success. The returns
will bring me in quite a little bunch
OF money"
why. Bennerman," cried Elsie, her
eyes shining. I'm so glad. You didn't
tell me a word about It"
NO, I'm a modest guy-like all real
ly great men. Why, I met a young
fellow in a big scientific institute the
other day who has discovered and
perfected an antitoxin for gas gan
creme. He is the biggest man in the
medical world today. He came from
the mountains OF East Tennessee. He
never says a word abou: himself or
about his wonderful discovery for the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
How Happiness Came

a large hand in contradiction. IT did
il because I'm fond OF Mr.. Blom. He's
a very nice young man. And you
know he gets big wages as a cheese ex-
pert over at the factory. His being
Dutch amt anything against him. He'd
make you an awful good husband"
"Oh. mother!" Sariann gasped. She
was crimson with shame and dismRy.
Turning. she went quickly out OF the
room In the hall she met Mr.. Blom
entering. He was a little man with
furtive eyes. who. to Ssriann's disgust.
always reminded her OF lump of
curd he handled. She gave him curt
nod. shrank past him. around the new
Ell post and sped upstairs. In her own
room she sat down on the bed and dug
her knuckles into her hot cheeks.
"Oh. hate II all SOL" she breathed.
This eternal maneuvering OF mothers
10 get me a husband She might
know I'd never be happy with any one
she picked out for me. l wonder that
her own mistakes haven't taught her
that this marrying business is haz-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

preservation OF human life. He de-
ltvers the goods and lets the other fell
lows DO the talking. That's the way
with really big men. Now, your friend
Holt. 70 Judge by his letters, he's about
the finest ever.
You are prejudiced, aren't your"
asked Elsie coolly. Mr.. Holt merely
told me a bit about himself because I
had no way OF finding out other
wise"
Nov. you're talking" came the
young Americans slang. And what's
more, you never will hear anything
about his brilliant achievements un-
less he tells you himself"
From somewhere IN the house sound
ed the faint Ginning OF clock. Three
silvery tones died away. Elsie jumped
up and surveyed herself IN a mirror
hanging on the wall. She touched the
soft brown waves OF hair with her
long. slender fingers.
ITS time for Mr.. Holt" she said
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

ardous, TO say the least. My own IA
Their was q failure, but then he only
lived two years. And her next hus-
band was no better. And now there's
Mr.. Johnson, her third. who lets her
support him. Yet she wants me TO
have Mr.. Blomi" she shuddered.
However, so accustomed was she 10
obedience that she changed her dress
before she went down TO supper. Mr..
Blom sat beside her and talked In his
thick Dutch-English and swallowed a
great portion Of omelette. Mrs. John
son smiled upon him her motherliest
Mr.. Johnson, the new husband, ate
toast for his dyspepsia and was hard
~ less silent than Sariann.
Sariann always washed the dishes
and tonight when she repaired TO the
kitchen. Mr.. Blom followed. Sariann
hated him increasingly as he stood
leaning against the casing OF the open
door. signing like the spring breeze
and ogling her.
VIII you go to the movies tonight
wild me. Miss Sariann?" he implored.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
Letters and the NJ an

because her own position had been a.
tackled.
so my proposal is 10 hang fire IN
I'll the stranger arrives within our
gates and you give him the once over
before you decide the momentous
question. Do you think that's quite
fair. considering that I have loved you
always7 Oh, girl, say you'll marry me.
Then. II you and that you like him
better. I'll release you, but please say
that you are engaged to me for a lit
tie while, anyway"
I'm going 20 be fair to everybody,
and I'm not going to be engaged I'M
I'll I am sure OF myself. So there.
You're Just the spoiled son Of g rich
man. Bennerman. Do you think that
you could make a living for ME II you
suddenly lost your fortune? Mr. Holt
is self-made. He has worked himself
UP in the world by sheer perseverance
and ability"
Don't talk about that little college
chair-warmer any more I'm almost
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
Where There's a WILL

town. Why. man alive, she is my
neighbor-that ought TO be enough
and yet Il isn't. because people IN this
big old town are too conventional. An
introduction is necessary. and simply
can't find any one to bring II about"
Howard willoughby looked at Dick
with sympathetic expression. You
know what you've always said about
where there's a will"
Dick was a man Of facts and he had
brought Howard into his confidence
that he might help him bring about a
solution to the problem that was be-
ginning to be real source OF worry.
What's she do for a iving?" How
ard asked. you say she goes out ev-
cry evening. She must work at some
thing"
Hanged II know" Dick replied.
shes plain. very plain. but there's a
grace to her body that doesn't last
when one works at desk all day" he
volunteered by way Of clue "She
must do some kind OF physical work
and yet she is always so simply dress
ed in her little plain blue tailored suit
Then she has that little aristocratic
air about her that bespeaks success. Z"
Howard willoughby sat thinking
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
By Elsie Endicott

quietly. Il hope that l will be IN
good voice. He is sure 70 ask ne TO
sing. Why. Bonnie. dear" she lapsed
into the old childish nickname. I'm
almost nervous" She laughed little
IN selt-conscious fashion. He has
written such story book love letters 70
me. no wonder that am excited. Let's
90 to the front windows and watch
for himi I can Just fancy him. strid-
ing Up the street, a big man. a little
gray at the temples, distinguished
looking-you know the types! You can
always tell what people are like by
their letters. wish that he would
come so that we could have the meet
ing overt Why. who is that coming
in here, carrying a violin?'
Two young faces. close together.
peered through the curtains at
strange ngure advancing UP the con-
crete walk. He was an understood
fellow. possibly i've feet, certainly no
more. and his head was the only thing
about him that one could truthtully
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

cheeks were full OF color. The caller
had arrived while Mrs Johnson was
IL the midst OF making an omelet for
supper. and everything remained as It
had been left hurriedly. Sariann put
on an apron and took up the egg beat
er. When her mother came out she
had the omelet ready for the pan.
Why. when did you get homer tn
quired Mrs. Johnson -Therei I'll do
the rest. dearie. You run up and slip
into another dress before supper Your
hairs real kinda tousled. and there's
some typewriting ink on your left
cheek. Mr.. Blom is such a neat young
man
I'm too tired to change my dress,
and don't care about that DutchmAn.
anyway. I don't see why you allowed
him to come here and board" There
was note Of passionate protest IN Sa-
riann's gentle voice. He makes a lot
OF extra work and we don't need the
money"
Now. deariel" Mrs. Johnson spread
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
By Abner Anthony

OF the forlorn dwelling and opened the
door. Old Mrs. Muzzy crouched like a
witch at the window in the failing
light.
Are you sick?" Sariann asked
What do you want?"
Old Mrs. Muzzy eyed her. sit down.
child. and I'll tell you. Not that chair
its the cats, and you'll get all hair.
There! I've been wanting to see you
for days and tell you, but you know
I can't stir out Of the house. It's doc
tor, doctor, all the time for this pesky
rheumatic. But I've got a good doctor
DIR. Burnham There's a man what
Is a man! You know him?"
Yes" Sariann colored. That IS.
just know him. Mr.. Johnson had him
once when he was H."
Old Mrs. Muzzy nodded knowingly.
81 wish you'd get better acquainted
with him." she said. Hes looking for
a wife and you, hear, are looking for
a husband-that is. your mas looking
for one for you"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

for spelling a word wrong.
When Bobby was alone with his
teacher that night he pretended 10
study hard. but he couldn't keep his
eyes OF his teachers face. She evil
IDENTIFY had forgotten that be was in the
room. for she was crying as II her
heart would break. Bobby could stand
this no longer.
Teacher" said a tmid little voice.
why are you crying"
"Oh. Bobby. I forgot you were here.
am crying because am so lonely
and want 70 90 home. but I can't go
until I finish this term"
why. my Jane teacher. haven't you
got me-"
Yes, Bobby. but you don't under
stand that 7 wish for boys and girls
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

II will not" Sariann replied without
the mercy of thank you. She emptied
the dish water with a splash.
You do not like me. not7 Why"
appealed Mr.. Blom.
Just on general principles" retort-
ed Sariann. and escaped.
"Sariann! Sariann!" Her mother
called from the sitting-room where she
sat embroidering IN company with her
husband. But Sariann fed. She was
out In the street before she knew It.
bareheaded, with her dress all too low
for the breezy spring night.
Between mother and that Blom I
believe I'm going crazy" she thought
wildly. "Oh, what was that?"
1t was a hand-rapping on a nearby
window pane-a very dry, wrinkled
old hand. It's old Mrs. Muzzy." Sari-
ann thought, in panic. What can she
want7 Oh. can't go in therel She's
a terrible old creature, mother says.
But perhaps she's III"
Sariann mounted the rotting steps
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

listened. then heard voices. Silently
he crept toward the open window of
his living room and crouched down TO
eavesdrop.
Douglas. Douglas. can't marry
you, I can't. Don't you see I don't
love you. It's impossible. I'm in love
witn"-There was choking noise
that made Richards blood run cold
I'm in love with a stranger, a strange
man whom see watching me from his
window every day. l don't know him.
butt was just enough for Richard.
He slipped into his clothes. threw
his heavy overcoat over his shoulders,
and In jiffy was IN the lobby Of the
next apartment bribing the doorman
to let him up to apartment ga
In response to his knock the door
was thrown open and he found him
self face to face with his black-eyed
beauty and Howard Willoughby.
Come right in. Dick" Howard
greeted him. That is"-he turned to
Miss Rommerly apologetically-" II
you don't mind my asking an old
friend OF mine"
Not at ALL" she said sweetly, cycling
Dicks confused toilette.
ANY trouble. was there's there?"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

TT z knows English as well as
you understand sports or I
know the subject Of clothes. %
said Elsie Gaines enthusiastically. as
she refolded bulky letter and pushed
u back into en- envelope that seemed
% feel the strain OF It's responsibil!-
ties In carrying such an epistle almost
TO the breaking point And you must
admit. BennerTnan Meredith" she con
tinued. that Mr.. Holt's letters are
charming. Yes. Bennerman. be really
is q big man. The reason read you
parts OF his letter was to make you
realize what an attractive person he
Is And today" she concluded ecstat-
icaIFy. today am 70 meet him"
Bennerman strobe up and down the
cory little living room. stopping oc-
oasionAIly TO look at the pretty girl
before the are. Il think that the fell
low - presuming 10 write such senti-
Dsutzl rot 10 a girl whom be has never
seen Why. hang it all. Elsie. how do
you know that be hasn't wife and
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

over the facts as Richard had given
them 10 him. In moment a smile
broke over his face. Then he looked
at Richard with a curious light spread
ing over his allwise features.
Maybe can find way" was all he
said "Ill see you tomorrow and have
some news-maybe.
That evening Richard watched for
the familiar figure coming down the
street. His window faced her living
room and Richard sensed a wild hap
piness in his veins at the anticipation
Of at least catching a glimpse Of her
as she lolled about, as was her custom
after dinner.
He was disappointed! That night
she did not come home. Richard sat
down to dinner. a depressed feeling
surging through him and sitting the
happiness that he had felt only an hour
or so before. He retired early.
He had not been asleep long when
he heard sharp cry. He glanced at
his watch, found II 10 be half past g.,
then sprang from his bed. He listened
intently. 1t was not a nightmare, as
he had at FIRST supposed; II was real.
1t sounded again. 1t was coming right
across the airshatt into his room. He
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09
A Child Shall Lead Them

Well, thought that If you had you
might give me some idea what to do
for someone I love that is awful lone
some. She was crying this afternoon. "
Who is she?" inquired the interest
ed Mr.. Sands.
Why. my pretty Jane teacher. She
is awfully lonesome for someone her
age She told me so this afternoon
She's awful cross lately"
What does your Jane teacher look
like?"
Bobby described her the best he
could and Mr.. Sands wondered If she
really was as beautiful as Bobby said.
She's my girl" Bobby finally said
"Oh. didn't know she was little
girl. 1 thought you said she was your
teacher" said Mr.. Sands. rather dis
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

Sariann was on her feet. palpitating.
but her anger subsidized before the old
woman's arresting finger.
Don't get huffy. child" she said
calmly. Everybody in this town
knows what everybody else is up TO-
But don't you fall into the trap your
ma and that Dutchmsn are setting for
you. Because he's married already"
Married." exclaimed Sariann.
Married and got wife and six
young ones in the old country. He
abandoned EN- when he came here
But his wife is no fool She's been
writing letters and she's got him To-
Gated. So DR.. Burnham save. Here he
comes now. You can ask him your
self II what I'm telling you isn't true"
"Oh, no. mol" Sariann faltered. She
heard the doctors step and started 70
run. but old Mrs. Muzzy caught her by
the skirt and held her fast
Wait" said old Mrs. Muzzy. merri-
ly. i've made many a match in my
young days and amt too old yeti
amt too old yet"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

kids out there in that Western desertT"
II have told you several times how
l happened 20 hear about him and why
I wrote 70 him. Our minister. old DR.
Kachin, has known Mr.. Holt for years
Mr.. Holt was a professor IN North
ern university until bis health failed
and he went West to recuperate."
20 lunger. I'll bet. on his last legs
now" interrupted Bennerman, savage
ly.
"Oh. no." said Elsie quickly. ''he Is
quite well and strong. He wrote 70
Dr. Kachin about a college position
here that hac been offered 10 him. At
the same time be inquired about the
musical circle in this town-he is a
gifted violinist, as I told you-so Dr.
Kachin asked me to reply IN regard
TO the music. That is the way our
correspondence began. II was all very
nice and proper. under the eyes Of
Rev. Kachin. as you know" Elsie was
growing q little vindictive, angered
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1919-10-09

- ARIAsIHS could hear her mother
- talking TO q caller in the par
lor as she closed the front
door and removed her shabby little
blue serge coat and tooue in the hall.
JohnsOu-s snrf1l tones easily penetrat-
ed tho thin partition and the thinner
pornereA
Look at that photograph, Mrs KEEL
lam Amt he splendid He was Ssri-
anu1s vocal teacher in the last place
re tfYed before we moved here. He
corresponds with her regular; seems
tfks be can't give her up"
1T will make a match. won't IT."
said good nstured, gossipy Mrs. KEEL
lam.
Hard telling. Sariann IS so partic-
ulsr. There Was Mr.. Gitchell. as fine
q yung man as you'd wish to see
she wouldn't look at him. And look at
the way she treated Mr.. Blom. and he
right here IN the house. too"
Sartznn moved on TO the kitchen
Her heart was beating and her pale