The Red Cloud chief., 1919-01-23
A Live Wire

so unusually Interesting as to Justify
republishing. He says
Champagne, France,-Brother and
Folks; speed | don't mind being a
soldier as long as soldering Is a popu.
lar sport, but | draw the line on being
the keeper Of "A 700. Have them?
Lord, have II herds with AS many
species. That may be a little farfetch-
ed, but so are they. English gray
backs, American bed bugs, Hindu lice,
French Coolies, Chinese Inches and
Australian bng a.boos. They bite you
on the ankle and they bite you on
the knee as We go marching. March.
ing! yes long, short, night, day, up
and back over and under. have
rounded France three times trying to
find the boundry line of "some where"
March! An, that gentle, docile, little
five letter word. How much territory
it can cover.
Speed mother asks me what |
want. l don't want anything, they
give you all you want both in degrees
of quality and quantity. What do 1
want? ?? l want back my rightful
name for No. 90; my soul economic de.
sire is to tear down two stories of
mothers flap jacks walloped in syrup
and hen eggs; 1 want to see a mule
pulling my mule cart like l pushed it;
l want to see some dry land; I want to
slip my wayworn mud.hooks into a
pair Of shoes which are not spiked
with steel bottoms and which can only
be put on one way; l want to show
mother a new formula for making
chicken dumplins out of saw dust: l
want to cast my weary body on one Of
mothers downy cots of feathers land
by the way, feather beds are in bed
rooms, are thes not?) and tell me gent.
ly Harve, if you can do so without too
much commotion, do you still eat
three square meals a dav over there;
whether thsre is such a thing as angel
food cakes, etc. or was that only a
dream | had when the armistice was
signed.
Am | having lots of fun and eXper-
fence over here? Just enough that |
would haye called a man a liar had he
said could have gotten in so much in
so hort IL time. If doing your bit in
hell here on earth is fun, then I'm
having it.
Am | hale and hearty? have
enough strength to dethrone king
HOcke and the four sons of Noah. /
have steel caps and bottoms with a
cast irsn stomach and immortal con
stitution. You wonder what an i'm.
mortal constitution is? It's that par.
ticular germ wherein you learn to
speak of people dying, as blowing up
the daisies aud Kicking in" with the
same conscientiousness that dad EN-
ployed when he threw Paris Green "A,
potato bugs"
Have | learned anything? I've
learned that ham is ham only when
you've got it, and that cackle- berries
don't grow on stock farms; I've learn.
ed that the ethics Of man change dur
ing war time and that Darwin probab
v done his bit at some time or other
I've been learned that all good picuics
end In rains; that Sir Gaiihead mus
of had a problem fit for any lore hun.
ter when he tried to rehabitate or rev.
olutionize the world. I've learned
that being u printer isn't the worst iot
on earth aud we'll we we will tell yor
about it when | get back, but thai
,er Teller who wrote Sweet Sweet
Home" wa IA soldier. Some fellow
stretches next TO me and cries this i,
a miserable life" which reminds mt
that it was Napoleon who wrote, at
Miscre."
Did ! tell you they SEN me to Al
officers training school. Yet! they did
thinking | was u fit subject for gur
fodder, but | fooled them. | came on.
on the drill field with two bars o
candy: we had Il riot and school brok,
up, The war being over L icle San
thought the boys preferred to accep
$50 per, rather than Sl70, seeing tina
| Sl1O necessitated n little mumble-pe
on the front. where Fritz celebrate,
the Fourth with hand bombs. Blu
speaking of the front, | just want t.
see M more front and that's ''maw's
front yard and the only battle | eva
want to see is sone woman washinI
clothes without soap, and soldier
clothes at that.
Did do my bit? Well, if ! didn'
my pack did. | carried between 9
and 20 pounds until my eyes watere
and my nos run, and | wondered VIII
France didn't have humane societie
like they have In America. If eatin
corn wooley" till you felt like an 0
or ass either one, is doing your bit,
done il.
Did | see the front? All, | gaZed i
awe, at that terror stricken land {
devastation, where American ginge
had already fertiliZed with Germs
bologna. Did | shoot? Did !? Sa
if you'd seen me dive into a dugou
$500