The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1919-06-14
'CAP'HEzRA RILED
Ancient Mariner Has Trying Day
in Boston Town.
And He VIII Find Many to Agree With
Him In His Positive Assertion
That "umhreIlles Is Dan.
gerous Weapons"

l heard a sigh behind me as I'M
folded my favorite evening sheet.
Someone settled into the seat and rest
ed YEARLY against me. / exhumed my
self from my sheet and stole side
long glance. In the little leathery man
with the nervous bit of chin whiskers
/ recognized Cap'n Ezra Godsklns of
our town.
His mild blue eye caught mine and
wished him good evening. He re-
piled with another sigh and the cryp-
tic remark, "Umbrellies is dangerous
weapons" Then. like another and bet
ter known Ancient Mariner, he seemed
unable to contain himself and launched
forth into the subject that was tortur-
ing his soul.
This is the captains plant:
al come into town this mornin'
bearin' no man any malice. 1t looked
like rain, but ! didn't calc'late to let
that spoil my good nature. Most every
one but me was totin' umbrelly.
II was bumpin' along in the crowd
leavin' the station an just at the en-
trance / was surrounded by five fat
old ladies' who was so interested In de-
cidln' where they was goin' to meet
for lunch that they didn't notice that
was standln' In the middle of the con-
feerunce an gettin' the benefit of all
the emphasis of the pointln' they did
with their umbrellies.
"A lady pointin' one direction with
parasol wants TO look where's she's
a-polntin'.
~ squoze out of there just In time
to get gouged in the nigh leg by q
young Teller that carried his umbrelly
strapped 10 the side of his yalise. He
gave me nasty look for bein' there.
I started up the street and see fell
Ter ahead of me carryin' his umbrelly
over his shoulder like a musket. He
turned to look into store winder and
bumped old man into the side OF the
head with the Ihuzzle Of his weapon.
They had Come words. '9I 7ni - i'eI'
70 ego Young girl that looked bright
enough 10 know better was carryin' her
fgmhrelIysi in, Abe middle and tnllin' so
| fast at /, the same time 4 .gpess she
1 didn't know she. was proddln' folks
lboth ahead and behind as though she
\ might be sayin' Get up, Jessie; go
,I.qong, BlnpA t'p M ''''
ps "a tail felier With black ribbon on
his eye glasses was whirlIn' his slim
uubreIly around by the handle, thereby
4 gettin' most of the sidewalk and'a LOT
d of eunfatorable opinion nfori himself.
!. He, varied this a little by usin' Il az
a cane. swingln' Ii well deut in front
= and behind, Every once in q Wills
J II swapg into some ones shankss OF
4 stabbed 'em In the Instep. He sure
Y had the comfort an safety OF Other
folks In mind.
NJ. People used 'em as wedges TO gel
into the crowd and ASA pry to get out
d One Young Teller j See WAS standln
Z on the edge of the sidewalk. leanIn
A back on his umbrelly and talkin' TO
friend Of his'n. Some Teller goln
along mindin' his own business caught
his toe in It and brought the lad dowr
at neat as u ninepln.
"Now IL he had had his umbrell,
hangln' down straight from his hant
the way ii should ha' been an beer
goin' about his business instead o.
blookln' up the sidewalk he wouldn'
a had TO go home and changed BIZ
brooches.
1.-THE trouble is that folks who carr,
umbrelly so 1t didn't interfere Will
anybody else is generally the ones tina
gets jabbed.
~ amt got the heart to speak o
umbrellies when folks carries zen
raised. They is worse than dangerou
then; they Is positively deadly.
been dodgin' careless and thoughtles
handlers of umbrellies all day and II
the hands of them class of people tina
, is n dangerous weapon. Yes, sir, um
brellies is a dangerous weapon. BIOS
ton Globe.