New-York tribune., 1919-10-23
What Is a Foreigner?
10 the Editor of The T,foun.

~ .a:es % an american has bee,
raised by the republicatio, zen
george Horace Lorimer's slogan. .p "
a good American or get ou,n De
ceived number of letters re-
from Russians arguing that seu'S tbsm
better Americans than George Eo,a.
Lorlmer or myself. | notice =.
communication in The Tribune fro
Egermaier asking you, in an ;ron,.,
tone. if you can define "a forei.na~s
May l attempt definition
An American is one who u;u a.,
ball" in whatever position falls :. p.as
lot. A foreigner is the fellow ~, us
won't play" if they don't mako SA0 S;
pitcher. A'H'
John L. Sullivan was an Amsr;,.
When Corbett conquered him. he s,am
gered to his feet, tears STREAMING d.,
his face, his heart broken. Iear;.~
upon the ropes, he stammered to tbs
crowd: 81 done my best, but he ,clss
me. Gentlemen, there's the new chan
plon. I've got just one thing n s.n
IN this hour of sorrow. Thank God !,
was an American that done it, Let -,
close by singing the first verse ars
chorus Of The Star-SpangIed Ran
ner'"
John l.. WIS an American when \.
was born. WHITTIER it was in Dublin =.
in Boston.
On the other hand, there has hs.,
many weakllug born of old Yanle.
stock on American soil that neve,
came into tbs Union" | know o,.
such who was born in Kansas and bo
always "belly-ached' When the "Co,s
Bugs" carried the country he favored
armed revolt. The state gave him q
free educatiCn n in engineering, but bs
quit the course because scientific
French was a compulsory course and
he though, this was a free country"
He tried farming, and because the
horses were hard to catch he took
a gun and shot their hides full of bird
shot. His milk cows got into his corn.
field, and he built high stockade and
kept them IN it five days without food
or water to teach 'em a lesson. Bs
hated the trusts" and the "putocrats."
and when the telephone company
strung line along his farm he cut
down the poles in defense of the pee
pull" He invented an automobile en-
gine out never built one, spending his
time pointing out the defects in other
engines and denouncing Henry Ford az
q damn fool" When Henry quit max
ing engines and starved to Europe to
put out the confagration with squir,
gun, he came out for Ford for Pres.
ident. When America entered the war,
he declared that all American soldiers
were afflicted with an insidious blood
disease, and that he would rather be
ruled by the healthy Teutons than By
American degenerates. He never
drank or used tobacco. and denounced
TO their faces, any neighbor that did
He was opposed to war because IL was
cruel but he beat his horses like MAJ
man, often stabbing them with pitch
fork from the top of a load of hay
Once tortured horse kicked the pitch
fork out of his hands and 1t tore =
hunk out Of his eyebrow. lie went to
the house for his wife's sympathy.
He used to eat three pounds Of roast
beef at sitting and four pounds Of
chocolate a day. but it has been years
since he commanded the price Of Il
beefsteak or box OF candy His
schoolmates and has brothers have
grown up and become well TO DO IN &
chance" He is a single taxer anu
complains that under our unjust prop
erty laws he is "a trespasser in the
land of his birth" And he is. Un-
fortunately his trespasses continue, for
there is no place to deport him to.
He is born foreigner
The land is full OF such Foreigners
native and imported. Apply his de-
scription to all the persons you know,
ana you will recognize their aliensri-
And now test by which 10 identity
the American. Walk up to any man or
the street and repeat this formula;
"You American boobs are 50 stuck
on yourselves that the other nations
will have to unite and wipe you OF
the earth. We foreigners made this
country; we are better Americans than
you are. I'd sooner live in Russia than
under your rotten government"
If the man accosted does not knocf.
the liver and lights out of you-he's
& foreigner. c. L. EDISON.
Somerville, N. J., Oct 2l, 1919.