davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11

chatter like chorus girls, and pull
out chestnuts from the hre tor
other people, just like we do now
and maybe grow long ring tails
and everything
On second thought we are IN
favor of it, and if you happen to
call around a couple Of thousand
vears"or so from now to renew
your subscription as we'll as your
youth, maybe by that time ou'
name will be Jocso. -Ex' ii, !
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11
EffectivePr printing

means good type. good presses, good
vorkmen and good paper. We have the
eouIpment and the worlsmen for you, and
use Hammermill grades Of bond, safety
anA cover papers. Let US show YOU
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11
Dear Santa Claus:

Dear Sdntd Claus.
l want you to bring ne a
little doll chair and three story
5ooks, three drawing books and a
British War Tank, Some oranges,
nuts, candy, apples and a box Of
popcorn and two boxes of sparklers
Your little friend,
M Edith Hutchins.
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11
NO MORE
GETTING OLD
Doctor Discovers The ia
bIed Fountain of Youth

There is always something new
under the sun, and here it is. DR..
Serg, yorono(f, Of Paris has dis
covered the fabled fountain o.
youth, for which, be it remem7
bered. Ponce De Leon waded
around Florida from Cuba IL
search of and failed to find, as
several millions Of the rest Of us
have since tried to do, with the
same result.
Ponce, old i boy, came from
Spain to Cuba. way back in 1918,
looking for that fountain, but
found nothing much but yallow
nipgers, alligators and hookworm.
There were not even Habbana
Danfno cig1rs iii Mother Hub
bard wrappers in those days, OF
sugar cane, like came under be-
nevolent assiu,ilifen after q ciga-
rette had touched off the battle
ship Maine. SO he went ever to
the mainland and discovered q lot
of beauteous flowers, hence the
name Florida. But the Fountains
of Youth did not materialize, and
has been elusive to all the rest Of
rs ever since until now Florida
however, has a lot of other things
now besides flowers. Among
these is Palm Beach, where the
idle rich spend hundred dollars
d minute blowing soapbubbles and
~-eating Socialists.
y Mis- new discovery, according
&dispatches from Paris, has
he nssslieal fraternity S
~ Ab and take notice, and 4
hounds like there might be some
thing to it. The medlcos ac} :
nowledge that it is an enormous
step toward the abolition of old
age and decay, so those OF US
who may banker to attain the age
Of Methuselah and as many wives
as Solomon along also with some
of his wisdom, can now take
cottage and some of the dope
and maybe live forever or there
aboutS.
In a nutshell the new scheme
12is to transplant young interstitiaI
glands into old folks from the
Young and vigorous, and there
YOU are. In the lower animals II
has proved to work to a charm
and in occasional instances on
people. The drawback has been
to find any young and healthtuI
chap who Vas willing to give W
his glands to reiuvenate the ole
and age worn population whose
glands hacl.worn out and wouIo
no longer come when they were
oo,,ed If.bas been difficult, ac-
cording to the report, to locate
ANYBODY who had any more glands
than he needed in his own bust
ness. SO apes are being used
and it is said to work out fine.
Well, we have quit being skep-
tical about anything, We knew
very we'll not 50 many years age
that nobody could ever-set type by
m,,hinery. We also knew tha
RI, horseless carriage was an i'm
possibility, and as for flvlng thru
IN, air like bird, why say, tina
was Just common every day nut
house talk it couldn't be done
But all these things have bee
done, anda thousands more lik
them, sucba, telephones, wlreles
telegraphy, chainless bikes an
A.,;,Iass diides, and so if III futur
any of us begin to fade away a
il were, because our old gland
have got all tangled up with tn
internal steering gear why all W
have to do is to go to the doctor
Il we have the price, and nav
him put III some brand new mon
key'glands only a few years OF ag'
and then we get young again. al
maybe jump frou tree to tree an
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11

w. +. Russell has returned IRON
a short business trip to South
Georgia. -
4 r
No plptr prints it all-take the
News 4...
Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1919-12-11

Subscribe for the News
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

This upheavsl of thought will
churches, especially those hat will
benefit by the results of the war.
College professors and heads of
educational institutions should ben
eft from this government of the
stars. which - seems to : promise in
crease of fame and financial re-
ward.
Changes long prophesied for
seats of learning have begun to take
place. but before the new order is es-
tablished there will be much discus
sion over radicalism among instruc-
tors and undergraduates. An East
ern university will be the center of
inquiry before commencement, the
lseers f~oretell.
Wise men and women will be espe-
| cially careful during this sway in
their association with persons who
| WELD power. Opinions freely express
ed will cause serious trouble.
The evening is not a propitious time
for writings of any sort. Letters are
to be the u of a serious scandal
next summer. r
Great expenditures of public money
will be investigated and serious in
Justices seem to be foreshadowed as
likely to be suffered by officials.
Persons whose birthdate 1t is have
the augury of success and increase
of money.
Children born on this day are like
ly to be generous. popular and gener-
ally >fortunate. These subjects of
Taurus often have great patience in
working out their ambitions
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

WASHINGTON, ID. c., May g.
The Azores Islands, proposed as .
mid-Atlantic respite for the trans
ocean airplane flight, have been an
oceanic halfway. house ever slnce
Columbus halted there to oner tnan
for his success upon his way nonie
after discovering America, says .
Society.
"Farthest from a continent of y
Atlantic island group, the Stands he
$40 miles west of Cape da Roca, Tor.
tugal. and more than q thousahu
miles southeast of Newfoundland
nearest North American land.
volcanic eruptions and eartn-
auakes, while the former were aclive'
made the Azores objects of
interest akin to that vinced IN Tue
now famous Mt. Katmai region in A.
laska. S~uboceanic eruptions, some
times piling up island which soon dis
appeared were characteristic phenom-
ena. One early description OF sucn an
event tells how the earth and waters
were rocked for eight days by earth
duakes. followed by a vast couldron
of fire that seemed to sweep the sea 5
surface and the clouos'
spewing enormous masses of eartn
and rock. Then there appeared a
group VI IOChSt Eve 6ACN
and wider until an area of several
square miles was contained in this no
mans land.' Later 1t was shattered
and sabsided as the result OF
earthquakes.
THE Azores comprise three groups
of islands. Their total area is less
than that Of Rhode Island; their pop
ulation about equal to that of
City, Mo. Most of the inhabitants are
Portuguese. The rest are Flemish and
Moorish with a few immigrants from
the United Kingdom.
Fruits and fish constitute the prin-
cipal exports. Oranges are supplant-
ing pineapples, but the other products
lemon, citron, Japanese medlar, and
bananas-maintain their popularity
The principal fish are the mullet, tun-
| ny and bonito.
est. Michael's largest island If the
| group, has lava beds, W which may
| be traversed for miles. and a nam
mouth crater with two jeweled lakes
one azure. the other emerald, at 1t,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03


to collect when he makes a winning
bet.
II a man were as dissatisfied with
himself as he is with other folks. he
would oon be wealthy.
Some of the roosters who crow
loudest when they are down town
with the boys are the most henpecked
when they are at home with their
wives.
Some darn fools imagine that Dig
nifty means going around and acting
like a butler in q play.
Verify. man is weak and prone to
fall. He rideth down town on the
Water Wagon in the morning, and
cometh back home in a Tamarack
Taxi in the evening.
A good many little men get away
with big bluffs because a big man
knows there is no credit in whipping
a shrimp.
Women are supposed to have more
sense than men. But a man never
puts on his wife's hat when he runs
j across thu street to see a neighbor.
You have probably been in enough
arguments to notice that a man VII
| make an affidavit to a thing he would
MT bet 10 cents Oh.
When a mans doctor orders him to
quit smoking it is sign that his wife
will brag about how her convincing
arguments caused him>to give up the
Filthy Habit.
Funny how wages are so high wher
| YOU want some work done n how
| wages are so low when you want to
do some work.
And the betting is that a Here
| would Jump just as far as you would
If he stepped on a wooden collar but
| ton with his bare feet when ne go
up in the dark.
brary if you will remember to, lie
/ your friends buy to lend While yo'
borrow to. keep.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
GEOGRAPHIC NEWS BULLETIN
Azores. May Be Aerial Halfway House /.
PREPARED AND ISSUED BY
THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SOCIETY

.Sn Santa Maria is the urcn
mhnra Columbus knelt ON TercelI"
= mn volcano made It's appea
ance as recently as half q cen.uIy
80 On Coryo rave been uned.tie~
Gins which suggest -Carthaglnian
Visits. and an Arabian geop.apns ,ds
the Twelfth century descrlpeo 80
OF the Western Ocean thous"s
have been the Azores. ae.a,tb
20 bout ne middle of the hfteenun
century the Portuguese sent efpeos-
tions 70 settle upon them. one isianu'
IL val was presented by Alpnonso y,
pcrtugaI TO his aunt, lsapeAas
1n,cbess Of Burgundy. 1t was upon
her marriage ID Philip the Good: Du ne
~ Burgundy, that he founded me an
nous knightly order Oh the
Fleece. 81 Maria da
c,oria against Miguel. in the sruss
g. tba crown, estaplisnsu
tSamseIves on the islands LOT ny
.broa wears following Queen MATTE
ii,oJ az Angra. one of the-seaport -
inonortance. Others are fohta
cada and Horta. Wac. In
Treasure fleets from the Wrsras
s,..in older days put in at the Azores.
Sniohrated in British nava tradltoh
- tbe exploit of Sir Richard Sren-
uit,e whose ship Revenge, ~acci9en.
siiv separated from its feet, held OUT
for Is hours against IS Spanish s nded
previously Gren nv ssr Waiter SG Raj
o,eh- his cousin, which anueu
what is North Carolina. Inc vas
taken aboard the the s sDani5nn Drake naf in his
The Revenge, had r%and Of which
T~rryson says in a poem aDout IA"
famous encounter: w,o,e night
/" ship after ship, the who,e e came.
long, their high built nss sa,ie eigst 'n long.
Ship after ship; the %nSer and flame:
cnsn after ship, the whole night n
on ayew back with her dead ana he'
shame: uranv were
| For some were sunk ana M anSS no
5shatter'd, and so couio
cod Of battles. was ever a natue INC
This in the world before!
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
WHERE THE SOLDIERS STAND

We read a great deal about the soldiers, sailors and working
men councils being at the root of much Of the disturbance in Eu-
rope at the present time. The overthrow Of the various govern
anents have been due to the fact that the army has gone over to the
revolutioniIs and in some instances to the treds.'
There have been some people in this country who have feared
that when our soldier boys returned they would be imbued with
the spirit of Boshevism and radicalism and there would be trouble
here. But any fear of that sort ought to be dispeled now since the
May day demonstrations, If it had not been dspened before by the
loyalty, of the troops that has already landed.
While the action of the soldiers on May Day is not to be en-
dorsed because anything bordering on disorder is contrary to the
principle of our government, yet it is significant that on the first of
May bands of soldiers everywhere attacked the red flag wherever it
was seen, and they even went so far as to raid the headquarters of
certain radical elements chasing leaders and compelling those who
were inclined to show any daoyalty to sing the ''Star Spangled
Banner
No, there is no fear as to where the soldiers stand. They stand
for the good, old fashioned Americanism that has made this great
Republic what it is
These soldier boys have just gone through a hell on earth for
the sake of the flag and they are not going to see it trampled under
foot now that they are home again. They have fought and their
brothers have died that the principles for which this country stand
might live. They are not going to make their sacrifice in vain
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes
ENJOYING LIFE

II is good to say some plumber, v a part\of all w e earn, s
that when we're old Is thunder W e may have som coin to burn.
oh. it makes a man Disguised when his age is eighty-nine, and h 70
finds himself 81 busted that he cannot buy a shine. But to save
like some blamed miser 1 consider vain and wrong; blowing in some
coin is wiser, for a man is dead so long. This old worlds a thing
of beauty, NJ it will pass away. s o when W e have done u
duty, we should go ahead and play. When we've earned our daily
wages we should be for pleasure strong; for the prophets and the
sages say the dead are dead so long. Let's be happy while were
living, happy in n selfish way, but a friendly handout giving to the
more unlucky jay: Nets do something for the heather. make their
lives ne grand sweet song, and be happy while we're breathin,
for wen all be dead % long. Let's support all worthy causes, help
among the poor; let us merrly skedaddle with the transient human
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
DTxS1ELzLE SAYS:

1t is counted a virtue on the part of employers if they are willing to
wag scales which eres cure py In "orher uHins Tue wei
o n ecoun of he advanced cost Of living -. -, -
INT We may al we'll recognize the fact that ven with thisin Increase In
wages workingmen-wuh some possible excepton-are n o better o. than
they were before the war . go,
cost O foo hs Increased Q per cent. during thu pst month, 81 hat there
is no sign IF relic IN food prices Some'artcles have decreased In price,
nut others have risen.
Prof Twins Fisher, IF Yale University said at the conference o. COVER
nors and mayors at the White House a few weeks ago: 49,. :.
"The fundamental practical question confronting bushes men is
whether the general level 4 prices is going to fall. In my opinion, 1T is
level and The soone h business men In the country take this view and
adjust themselves to it the sooner they will save themselves and the nation
from the misfortune which will come il W persist in present false
hope"
When the question of increased wages in a particular industry is being
considered, 1T is necessary, to a certain extent. a any rate to give careful
thought to thu welfare of the industry as a whole, 20 that its interests nay
be conserved.
But we must nt forget the fundamental principle that the first charge
against n industry is the wages of its orkmen.
And If a n industry cannot afford to pay a living wage. it has 10 right
to live ~
1t is far more important to conserve men than iis tt construct machines
or tt produce m other commodity. =
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Ddih Hoi 0scObe

'.The stars incline but do not compel
Sunday. May 4, 1919.
Copyright 1919, by h Mcclure
Newspaper Association.)
Jupiter, the Sur and Mars are
all in benefic aspect. according TO
astrology. Many planets will have
power to influence human destiny
Impetus win be given to church
activities. the seers declare, and
complications will influence secta-
rian plans.
II has been long prophesied that
he psychic conditions produced by
the war will be reflected in reig
Iious thought and that old creeds
will be discussed and new ones
troduced-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

at is never too late to mend" OBJ
served Mrs. Gabb.
Except when there are socks to b'
darned," added Mr.. Gabb.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

"You say the bird is on the wing"
Complained old Mr.. Hurd;
But 1 can prove to you, by jung,
The wing Is on the bird"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Betchai

Real good advice is this that /
Give, you, friend. is it not?
You should be sure to swat the fly
Before Ii flies the swat.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
HUH

An English critic a that the Am
erican play is overdressed." said the
Old Fogy. as he looked up from the
newspaper he was reading.
"I'n bet t~hat-foiiow didn't get to see
ifflvnsEnllies' or the Passing Show !"
ISnl-Anhted the Crouch.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Advice.

huSICC l
Keep busy. Make your old brain
Don't stall round, and don't slack
And Opportunity will come
And slap you on the back.
OUGHT
"Don't you think that the modern
girl Is less affected than h old-fash-
toned girl 2" asked Miss Peache.
Less affected 2" replied Mr.. Sharp.
"Well, I will admit that she puts on
less"
You Know Himi
At work he is not steady,
A lazy man Is Hit;
But he is always ready
When it is time to quit.
GOOdnessi
Gainesville (Ohio) Signal.)
Luke McLuke wants to know what
has become of the old -fashioned girl
who used to keep a diary that made
her blush when h read 1t q year
later" She's got a hectic daughter
who wears Al different varieties OF
skin plaster to make her look shy or
fused.
Come Right In!
Christian N. Devor. of Newburgh,
N. Y, wants to start a Sunday school
in the Club.
Nothin' DOM.
B.. Fresh, the tailor in the Spencer
Hotel Building. Indianapolis. wants to
know if he can make spring suits for
the Corn Feds.
Alta BOyi
A. C. Tubbs has been elected Presi-
| dent OF the Royal Yosemite Laundry
| Company. of Pasadena, Cal.
Firms Is Firms.
Nesdham & Cook have a grocer,
| store In Knoxville. Tenn
Heipl /,
| my wife speaks broken English
The henpecked Ignatz lectures;
/ "And every night, ere l hit bed,
I hear her diaiectures."
Luke McLuke.
| It is so wearisome to me :
I cannot help c~onjecturing
| How peaceful IL would seem IL she
Some night would die a~-lecturing. =
Newark Advocate.
/! she cats at night, and says she can
Digest a brick, you bet;
But she declines because she isn't
Prepared to die Jest" yet.
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune
shoot the Two Bucks!
We have been hunting for a SUE
thing to bet on, and we have discover
ed Urey Goodwin in Newport. Tenn.
Located.
r. E. p. has located the old-fash-
toned boy who used to say: IF yor
can't get a board, get a shingle." when
a conductor hollered "All aboard!'
| Said o. +. boy was operating his Jok'
on that depot platform at White Sui
phur Springs. W. Va.
Business Is Business.
Sign.on a little clothing store OF
Central avenue. Hot Springs. Ark:
For the sake of Jerusalem l shai
NOT keep silence."-Bible.
"Who escaped from prosecutor
can go back free now" (
Going Therei
Selling Out Everything At A Sac
Names Is Names.
Frank Headneck lives at Diiier. Ne
braska-
Our Daily Special.
There Are A Good Many Cures. Bu
There Are More Ills.
Luke McIuke Says
A mar often forgets to come aroun
to settle when he makes a losing De
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Bits of By-Pldy
Avn. Gwanil

BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1919. the Cincinnati
Inquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

A man often forgets to come around
To saffIe when he makes a losing bet:
But he never forgets to come around
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Located.

Located.
r. E. p. has located the old-fash7
toned boy who used to say: "lf you
can't get a board, get a shingle." when
a conductor hollered "All aboard"
Said o. +. boy was operating his Joke
on that depot platform at White Sui
phur Springs, w. Va.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

Keep busy. Make your old brain
hum.
Don't stall round, and don't slack.
And Opportunity will come
And slap you on h back.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Alta Boyi

A. C. Tubbs has been elected Presi-
dent of the Royal Yosemite Laundry
Company, of Pasadena, Cal.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Helpi

my wife speaks broken English
said
The henpecked Ignatz lectures;
"And every night, ere j hit bed,
I hear her diaiectures."
Luke McLuke.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

It is so wearisome to me
I cannot help conjecturing
How peaceful IL would seem IL she
Some night would die a-lecturing.
Newark Advocate.
she eats al night, and says she can
Digest a brick. you bet;
But she declines because she isn't
Prepared to die ''jest" yet.
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
You Know Himi
At work he Is not steady, !
A lazy man Is Hit;
But he Is always ready
When it is time to quit.

Goodness!
GAINESVILLE (Ohio) Signal.)
Luke McLuke wants to know what
has become of the old-fashioned girl
who used to keep a diary thai made
her blush when she read it a year
later" She's got a hectic daughter
who wears Al different varieties OF
kin plaster to make her look shy or
fused.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

Firms Is Firms.
store In Knoxville. Tenn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Sboot The Two Bucks!

Shoot The Two Bucks!
We have been hunting for a sufe
thing to bet on. and we have discover
ed Urey Goodwin in Newport. Tenn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03
Rus;ness Is Business.
Lake McIuke Says

Our Daily cpSCIaI.
There Are A Good Many Cures. Blu
There Are More MS.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

OUGHT
"Don't you think that the modern
girl Is less affected than the old-fash-
Toned girl?" asked Miss Peache.
Less affected ?" replied Mr.. Sharp.
well, / will admit that she puts on
less"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

Come Right In!
Christian NJ. Devor, Of Newburgh,
N. Y, wants to start a Sunday school
in the Club.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-05-03

NOthln' DOM.
B. Fresh, the tailor in the Spencer
Hotel Building, Indianapolis. wants to
know if he can make spring suits for
the Corn Feds.