davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18
Why Don't I Laugh When I Tickle
 Myself?

Your mind tells you there is no need to laugh when you tickle your self. Your mind will respond to the tickling sensation when 1t is aware that the cause of the tickle is your self. The reflex action of the mind which causes laughter and squirm- ing when some one else tickles you only acts when it is not conscious of the cause.
 The whole purpose of the sensitive organization of our skins is to give us Information and cause action which will enable us to protect ourselves when any outside, influence touches us An injurious touch causes shock and pain, and the harmless tickle arouses the laughing and squirming sensation.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18
What Happens When We Laugh

What Happens When We Laugh
 Laughter is what we call a reflex action. When omething occurs to make us laugh, whether it is some- thing we see, or feel, or hear, it is because certain sensory nerves receive an impression in one of three ways: carry it to the nerve center and the nerve center then sends the same impression along certain efferent nerves, which connect with certain muscles or glands, and excite them to activity The action is practically the same as when you hold a light before a mirror. The rays from the light strike the surface of the mirror and are reflected back from the surface, lighting perhaps corners of the room which the direct rays from the light could not reach, all depending upon
 the angle of reflection. Light will all
 ways reflect from a mirror that is exposed to it.
 Now. then, when you see hear or feel anything that makes you laugh. the sensory nerves have only to re- ceive the impression to bring on the explosion of laughter. Something touched the laugh nerves or the laugh trigger that caused it to go off. You can prove that it is a matter of impression entirely by noting that some people can listen to perfectly funny story, even when told by a | clever performer. and never crack a ! smile, while others burst into uncon- l troIIable laughter. and he who does
 not even smile may be listening even ! morl -ntently than the other-he may even be looking for a laugh It all depends upon the impression that is made upon the nerves. The muscle l have the power to express the state sf giadness which is indicated b.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18
CzECH0-SL0VAK
 CAMP AICN GETS
 SPLENDID START

At the Lyric theatre last night the campaign to raise funds for the re- lief of the people of Czecho-Slovalda was launched in the presence of big crowd. On the stage were a number of prominent citizens in addition to the combined choruses from Sts Cyril and Methodius and the Slovak Lu- Sheran church.
 Among the speakers who described the dire need of financial assistance for the cho-Slovaks were Captain Mika, an attache of the Slovak em- bassy at Washington, Lieut.. F. S. Peck and Miss Emma Novokova.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

Lodge have agreed to be present. Among those expected are Past Grand Worthy President Rex B. Gooesell of San Bernardo, Cal. who Is prosecutor in the larscst county in the United States, nnl z. B. Lead. attorney gen. eral of Montana, who it is believed
 will be elected Grand Worthy Prcsi-
 dent at the present convection.
 A special program of entertainment is being completed for the meeting ] tomorrsw night ard final arrange
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18
LOCAL EAGLES
 CONFIDENT OF
 GETTING PRIZE

The Bridgeport Aerie of Eagles feel confident that they will win prize in the parade in New Haven Thursday at the annual convention of the Grand Lodge. The local Aerie will hold a meeting Tuesday evening to which several of the officers of the Grand
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

laughter when certain impressions pass along the nerves which operate them, just as they can be made to do other things when the proper cause for action Is shown them.-From the Book Of Wonders. Published and Copyrighted by the Bureau of In dustrial Education, Inc, Washington, D. C.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

Charles Griffith. who is piloting a Curtiss model flying boat. took a number of passengers from this city for flights over Long Lfland sound last Saturday. The fare was SIS person but this did not prevent q dozen or more people from taking the flight.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

The prolteers should have all the fun they can have now, as they will want something pleasant to think about when they get in jail.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

About the only signs of wild life that yoI get in the country summer resorts about now is the music of the jazz band.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1919-08-18

ments for the trip to Now Haven will be completed at that time
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

sitting in to find him.
When a woman goes to the races
and bets on q seven-year-old maiden
and the nag doesn't win h remem-
bers hat she broke a looking glass a
few years ago.
A woman is supposed to have more
sense than a man. But when a man
buys a pair of shoes he doesn't insist
on having shoes that nave heels that
are longer than the toes.
There is always something to be
thankful for. The War and the Draft
seem to have killed off the crop of
male Lizzies and male sopranos.
The first time a man takes a rail-
road trip after he takes out an acct
dent policy he is kind of peeved be-
cause the train wasn't wrecked.
lit doesn't take a wife long to notice
that her husband seems to display
more curiously when he is looking at
other girls than he does when he is
looking at her.
When people do not like a man they
say so to other people, but never say
so to h man himself
Man is a queer fish. He pays no at
tention to a k~nee-high stocking dis
play at a bathing beach, but gets ex-
cited If he sees the same display when
q girl is wearing a street dress.
OF course it is none of our business.
But our observation has been that the
girls must consider it vulgar and in
decent to wear anything under the
outer skirt this summer.
Every now and then you meet a
mar who believes that if he could only
borrow enough money to pay his debts
he would soon be out of debt.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes
WORK

I toled along for many years at hoeing beans and grooming
steers, with weary bone and thew; and I looked forward to the day
when I could throw the tools away, and have no work to do. Then
I would have no grievous task; on downy beds of ease I'd bask, and
drink red lemonade; for me thered be no beastly grind, I'd sleep
all day if so inclined, and through cheap novels wade. At last the
day 1 longed for came; bliss percolated through my frame; "At last"
1 said, I'm free; this getting up at break of day to milk the cows
and pitch the hay-no more of that for mel" Then for three weeks,
or maybe five, exuIting that I was alive, I loafed around the grad;
pitched horseshoes o the village green, and monkeyed with the slot
machine, and fancied I was glad. But soon my life became a bore;
/ yearned to have a VANISHED chore, to make M tired at night: I
longed to plow the rows of corn, and hear the old tin dinner horn,
and have IN appetite. Another month of glded ease, and my old
dome was full of heas, and bats and things like those; the loafng
life had lost its charm, and / went whooping to the farm, where toll
is all that goes I pity all the slothful shirks; true bliss is for the
man who works and sweats the long day through; who knows, when
comes the close of day, that he has grown q bale Of hay, or Per-
adventure, two.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS

Notice is hereby given thai scarce
bids will be received by the BoaTd OF
Chosen ~Freeholders OF Mlo9leSeA .onair
ty. N. J., for the extraordinary repair
Of Main Street in the Borough OF
Milltown in the County of MlddleseA
with q Warrenite surface upon a tont
crete Foundation; estimated amount % ~
surface pavement required is 1S'e0o
SQUARE yards, of foundation l3,5oO
SQUARE yards; and opened and read IN
nubIic at County Record Building. New
brunswick, N. j., on July 1Oth' 1919 a.
ESQ P. M. rus ~
bid. contract and bond for the proPoS-
ed work, prepared by Alvin b; FOX.
county Engineer and approved by, n
Council of Borough of MIDTOWN nave
SINGER al IT'S Smith Street, Perth Am
boy. N. j., and may be inspected py
irrespective bidders during business
hours. Bidders will be furnished Win
a COPY of the specifications ana piue
prints Of the drawings by the engineer
On proper notice and payment OF cost
Of preparation. Bids must be made on
the standard proposal forms in the
ann designated therein and re-
|nuired by the specifications, must De
enclosed in sealed envelopes, bearing
the name and address of the bidder
and name of road on the outside, n
addressed to the Board of CHOSEN
Freeholders of Middlesex County, N. j.
company agreement to furnish bond and
a certified check for not less than
81. 600. 90 and be delivered at the place
and on the hour above named; inc
standard proposal form is attached 70
the specifications, copies of which Will
be furnished on application to engineer.
BY order of the Board of Chosen
Freeholders of Midd1esex County, N. j.
THOMAS j.. MULvIHILL
Clerk.
trrrA g On 07-7o
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Today's Letter Takes Up

proambIe of the Covenant,
~ o,,a International peace anu
c~nrifv" by d~iscouraging hostne Il
eTeesiou everywhere; ana SO la sia+ic
~Drevepts a European pr a. 10 ter
nation from interfering VIII %noiiti.
ritor;a1 integrity or the exlstins tbo
IItoiL@ of any nation on tne
SS1aI+nrn hemisphere, it
w that mart of the world pFScnvs
tbo resuit aimed at by the MontY
Doa+rSne And, further more qulIo
DGgIaandentlv of the new ArtlcIe
WI fine United States 0 u
do1,b+edIv be called upon under AIl
cle x TO repel an aggression dpnIv
an American state, because h ~
would its political interest De ,,sa nv
49, involved. but also BECAUSE, ~
reason of territorial proAiI
sd most cn1 ycniently act. oeoc+s
IT, is the light of these eILeetS
Article x that the express iecos-
49, Of the Monroe Doctrine III
ntioio XXI should be examined
objections Answered.. ...,e
II +. argued that the Doctrine Itsei.
;s inadeauately reserved by relelt" 70
IN II as a regional understanoIns,
need not be denied that TINS tba+
ton phrase was not the zee. The
co1ld have been selected to denhe ~
STonroa Doctrine. although the Doc-
trine is regional in that 1t reiateS
to a particular region and IS an n, g ar-
Serstanding' in that it is wldely "a
cepted by the nations of the Wofau1
Probably the craftsmen of Artlcie
Nj the majority Of whom were Eu-
ronean statesmen, thought 1t unWise
n attempt to formulate a dennltIoh
Of an American political poiicy' con.
cerning the limitations of which Ame
icsn statesmen have not always tneIn.
thing is that the Monroe Doctrine Is
declared to be valid" thus renoerlnS
its continued existence unaffected by
! the Covenant; and, as the coblHion
! understanding indicates that tHe
charaeter and effect is consistent with
tbe principle of the general purpose
! of the Covenant, as indicated IN Al.
ticle X and the other articles deslgnea
70 preserve the peace of the world
if is a far cry to argue that the some,
what inept use of the phrase "reg1onal
understandings indicates that the
nigh contracting parties INTENDED by
indirection to raise doubts as TO the
! complete reservation of the Doctrine.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Resist the Impulse.

The impulse to write poetry Is one
that at one time or another ~convulses
every one Of US, but our notion Is that
quite q number ought to control and
smother it and very few ought to at
tempt it without first consulting
friends and the family physician
r~,se+nn Past.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
DIR. STEELE SAYS.

There's nobody that's criticized quite so much IS the Almighty
And there ire very few Of us who think that we can't u the universe
or efficiently than God.
This should give the most of us a great deal Of comfort. For if men
will persist in finding fault with God-Who Is rfect- can W e escape
their criticism? So
"A servant is not greater than his master'-thats the way the Master
Himself put it-when He told His disciples that if men Prosecuted Him
they would ALSO prosecute them. -.
But ordinarily men criticize. each otner through careless speech raner
because of hatred in their hearts-just a they sweara and take Gods
name in vain" They don't mean IL they say-rs just pure ssedne
los # them deplore ven more than yu do.
Next time YOU become hurt because somebody criticized you, ust bark
hack to h Iat time o criticized somebody else-and you'll find that you
won have to e very far back ovr the road to discover tn wreckage you
causedin somebody eles life because of your thoughtess words
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
@TDL

Tomorrow, the Fourth of July, no edition Of the EVENING
NEWS will be published. A bulletin ind megaphone service, how
ever, viii be given in front Of the EVENING NEWS building GOV
erng the Willard Dempsey fight round by round. The EVENING
NEWS will have the service of an Associated Press wire direct from
the ringside. This service will begin about $3.50 P. M.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

Earl Goodwin, of Raleigh, N. e.,
claims that the oldest joke is the one
about the two boys who were bad in
school and the teacher told both to
stay after school and write their
names 500 times. Both boys started
to work after school and wrote stead
lily for a while. Then n of the boys
stopped writing and started to cry.
"What's the matter?' asked the
teacher.
sThis amt fair" said the boy, as
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

The average man is willing to let
his own business go to pot wnlie ne
tells YOU how to run your business.
OF course, it Is none of Il BUSH
ness. But Judging from the transpar-
ent thinrs the girls are wearing they
must imagine that the men are near
sighted.
And at that, the man who Is wear
ing transparent B. ". ID. pants has no
business laughing at the girl in the
silhouette skirt.
As a rule. Father never gets any at
tention at home until he is teo sick
10 appreciate 1t.
Every maj knows one fellow who
hasn't any faults. And he doesn't
have to get ur out of sheceek$&e 4
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Advice.

This little rhyme is very true.
1t may saw you some sorrow;
Just close your mouth to-day, and you
Need not explain tomorrow.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

Obsolete Expressions.
'sWhat'n va Have?'
lies Have Another"
This Is On Me-"
"One More Won't Hurt Va"
Here's Luck!"
Here's All TIL Hair Off Yer
Head"
Here's Success To Crime!"
MAY Our Wives And Sweethearts
Never Meet!'
Here's Mud In Your Eyel"
Here's Howl"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Form in Line, Girls! Don't Sho,

(Ad. IN J~acksonV1IIe MetropoIIS.J
WANTED night phone girl about rs
years old. Ford Taxi Service, los
Julia.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
why, Annai

is but we do know that Anna
Ouarrels in Madison, Ind.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

When you need any smoked meats
go to Ham the Butcher in Osgood,
Ind.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
HeIpi

From Memphis, Tenn, m the
news hat Allie May Leake and Ida
May Knott.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
PERTH AMBOY EVENING NEWS

Published daily except Sunday by TIE PERTH ARBoY EVENING NEWs
CofLPANK. 81 State ST. Perth Amboy. Ew 1ersey hon 400 49,
Subscription Pnce-By mail Ecrudfng postage M v1r taL i MONTH -
rents yea SLSa su.
Braneh OMcea-New York T. r. Nouhrup % Fiji Ave Chicago: suts
1xa AzsDcIatiOn Building -.a--
THE EVENING NEWS is a member II TIA American Newspaper Pubnshers
Association ana Audit Bureau OF Circulation --.An~
his newruaper is a member Of The Associated Press News di5patcne
printed herein ana 81 designated ire Associates Press. tspaf2he Nmc1 g
hot be lawfully reprinted except by members Il The zOciated Pr TSIn a.
Ia capitalization
Entered al HI Perth Amboy Post Once s Second Class Natter
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Goo Bit

Goo Bit
Bill Binks has gone. He hased strife.
His passing is deplored.
But he was OVERLOOKED with life.
So he jumped overheard.
Obi
How did hat fire in Cohen's store
make such Roadway when he was
right there on the premises when the
fire started?" asked the Underwater.
Cohen was so busy estimating the
damage that he forgot to extinguish
the blaze" replied the Salvage Corps
Man.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Bits of Bu-Pldu
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1919, the Cincinnati
Inquirer.

Strange.
The hobble gown makes thin girls
look
Much thinner" said old Slater;
But when a fat girl wears one, it
Makes her look that much fatter."
Sure!
us there any such thing as the age
of discretion 2" asked the Old Fogy.
Sure" replied the Crouch. "a man
reaches the age of discretion when he
gets old enough to keep his face closed
when he hasn't anything to say"
More About Mary.
Mary had a Corn Fed calf,
And Mary was delighted.
For every time she climbed the stairs
The men folks got excited.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

he looked at the other boy. His name
is Lee and my name is Schlutteroper-
auffmyer."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
Hicks.
Another Hick
Is Ezra Teeter,
Who talks about
The barometer.


Most cigar stores are nice places.
But you can find A. Turf cigar store IN
Albert Lea, MINI.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
We Would.

We don't know whether he e OF
not since Prohibition has closed MS
saloon in Cincinnati, but we won't say
a word IL Otto Dahm says a few eusi
words.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

When You Pray Don't Ask Fof
More Than The Lord Has In Stock.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

that's not as bad as 1t will pc,
He soon will be in a worse plignt'
For after hes wed to his sweetheart
He'll get hell when he stays out at
night.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

If the Corn Feds in the Club will
shove over we will admit Susan Ophc-
liza Pickle to the Club. She lives al
Enid. Miss
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03
MeHCYl

Around her the poor boob would ling
err
And one night he had to propose;
Now she has a ring on her nnger'
And he has a ring in his nose.
Luke McLuke.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1919-07-03

he looked at h other boy: his name
is Lee and my name is Schlutteroner-
auffmyer."
Hicks.
Another Hick
Is Ezra Teeter,
Who talks about
The barometer.
- H
Gosh!
Most cigar stores are nice places.
But you can find A. Turf cigar store N
Albert Lea, MINI.
Mercyl
Around her the poor boob would ing
And one night he had to propose;
Now she has a ring on her finger,
And he has a ring in his nose.
Luke McLuke.
But that's not as bad as it will be-,
He soon will be in a worse plignt,
For after hes wed to his sweetheart
He'll get hell when he stays out at
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
why, ANIMAL
We do not know just what n
| trobule is but we do know that Anna
| Quarrels in Madison, Ind.
HeIpi
From Memphis, Tenn, comes the
| news that Allie May Leake and Ida
May Knott.
| We Would.
we don't know whether he does or
| not since Prohibition has closed his
| saloon in Cincinnati. but we won't say
| a word If Otto Dahm says a few cuss
| words.
Names Is Names.
If the Corn Feds in the club VIII
shove over we will admit Susan Ophe-
liza Pickle to the Club. She lives al
Enid, Miss.
Our Daily Special.
When You Pray Don't Ask For
More Than The Lord Has In Stock.
Lake McLuke Says.
The average man is willing to lei
his own business go to pot while ht
| tells you how to run your business.
OF course. 1t Is none of our busi-
moss. But Judging from the transpar'
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1919-09-29
THREE KILLED WHEN FORD AND
MOTORCYCLE CONE TOGETHER ON
PIKE NEAR MORR|STONN, ].

This rIrnitt. when the accident ncCurr"l.
| Il seems thar thr Ford which Murphy
WIZ div IN, WAS bowling along at a
! rrc;ty good rate Of speed in order 10
take tn" Lady Pend hill: when about
| tn. center "f tn" hrIdE" the m"torcycl"
jnrp"rr,-d from III" "pp0sit" direction. II
! ~ claimed that tn" accident was I'M
| ayoIdahlc ~ neither Of the drivers had
! Il chaurc !" Slnck"n up before tho impact
occurred. The occupants OF tho S!d"car
! w.r" thrown eat with crushing fore"
against the radiator of the automobile.
. Mr. Ecu'hcr'S skull and chest were
! crushed and one Of her limbs broken.
, She died n few moments later. Tn"
children both sustained fractured skulls.
which WAS the cause Of death al the
! hospital few hours later.
/ Witnesses Of IN" Smash-up immcdl-
lately got into communication with John
/ r. Wyatt. coroner for Belmont county.
ANA asked permission To remove the III
| jur"d which was granted with tho
understanding that nc WIS 10 meet the
rarity at BRIDGEPORT. When he arrived
there, however. hc learned that they had
been removed Ia tho hospital in kinscy's
ambulance It is understood that an in
v"StiEation with II Wow to placing the
responsibility for the fatal occurrence
will be conducted tomorrow.
Rcuth"r is employed as chief electric
ian al Alinc No. ., Of the Elm Grove
GOAL company At Philadelphia
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1919-09-29
Dock workers Go Out.

CLEVELAND. Sept 2S.-Scvcral hun.
dr"d dock workers. members Of the In
t"rnational lonCShOrrmcns union. voted
today TO so on strike here tomorrow in
sympathy with tho stool strike. Tho
walk out viii involve every dock except
those handling package freight. rassrn-
ger traffic and fishing
Workers in the iron orc storage yard
Mt Randall were also called out. Thry
arc not members OF any nj tho - unions
cooperating in tho stool strike.
TIL" dock"rS Strlk" viii have practice
ally no effect on tho situation hero ~ no
plants are producing. To whH, cviont the
walk out would affect mills Still opcr-
aiinE In parts uf Ohio ard PENNSYLVANIA
was matter &C conjecture.
Several ar" docks arc already tird IN
or being oncrat"d with skeleton crews.
Heads "f steel COMPANIES said today
tho situation is unchanged and that they
w"r" no. planning TO reopen their mills.
tomorrow.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1919-09-29

strike here was shifted 10 the situation
in other districts.
At strike headquarters II was stated
that many OF the organizers from here
had been sent 10. Pennsylvania.
I'VE are going to flood pennsylvania
with organizers and see If W. can | an
mex il to the United states. said ). T.
McCadcn. secretary in charge. He de-
clarcd that reports had been received
from across tho state limo that union
men were being hold up and robbed OF
their cards, and even their money.
An organizer just returned from Far
rcll. Pa, assorted that the mills there
are closed down tight and likely to re-
main that way. While J. s. Gros". STU
p"rintcndcnt Of the Ohio works Of the
Carnegie steel company here. ANNOUNCED
that no attempt Will h" made to "pcrat"
the plant tomorrow. organizers say they
arc taking no chances and viii have a
young army" Of pickciS at III" mil III
the morning.
youngstown and its cnvronS remain
as peaceful as though no strike were in
progress.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1919-09-29

they will sail for their native land.
Many others left earlier IN the week, ii
WIS stated.
Wv" did not lose an inch OF ground
with all the usual over Sunday shut
down" said an authorized statement
from tho Carnegie steel company to-
night. All along the line We are work
ing tonight with increased forces and
more mills wcr" put on by reason OF the
return Of NOR" mon tu work.
AT the plants in the Mahoninc valley
whore conditions were 50 diSorderly
earlier in tho week tho return Of men
tonight and the working Of the mills
WAS most cheering" tho statement said.
At GlaSSport today there was n $4,000
fIr" in a lumber yard. another small fro
in IN" grand stands of baseball ground
and a slight blaze in the HON" Of a steel
worker not on strike. While tho fires
w"r" looked upon with suspicion by res
:drntS of the place the police said they
had nothing TO indicate they were con-
n"ctcd with the strike.