The bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1919-01-24
|SHORTOnR0MANC
Some Eminently Prosaic Pro.
posais Of Marriage.
Hardly - Picturesque ~ the Suited
Forms So Popular With Lovers
In the Pages Of Fiction, but
Meant the Same Thing.


Meant the Same Thing.
Perhaps the romantic proposals of
fiction are more picturesque than the
usual proposals OF real life; the fact
that lovers are reluctant witnesses
make it hard to tell. But certainly the
queer or comic proposals and attempt.
ed proposals of fiction cannot be any
queerer than some Of those recorded in
actual chronicle Of countryside tradi.
ton.
Mr.. Howells In his "reminiscences
gives an amusing middle West exam
pie Of country bachelor who be-
latedly made up his mind to marry,
and In his default of female acquaint.
ance took his place on the top rail Of
a roadside fence and called to the first
woman who passed: "Say! You mar
ried woman?"
"And then at the frightened answer
Indignantly gasped out, Yes, sir y he
offered mere 'Ohl' for an apology
and explanation, and let himself vanish
by falling into the corndeld behind
him."
Almost equally contemptuous of
fnesse was q New England bachelor
in middle life who had lived con-
tentedly on his farm under the able
administration Of an aunt only year
or two older than himself. His next
door neighbOr, and the owner Of q
small but coy farmstead, was COM
petent and contented spinster, in whom
Enos had displayed less than the or
binary neighborly interest. But one
day he hailed her over the dividing
fence: "Hi. Selina!"
Selma did not Immediately under
stand that she was being addressed,
and so Enos leaned across the fence
and continued shouting 'Hi HI! Hi"
until he attracted her attention.
"Well, Enos, what is it," she In
CURED, turning.
Enos allowed her to walk close to
the fence before he replied.
"Aunt James going to get married,
so I guess I better, too. What dye
think about it, Selina?''
II think We better, Enos.'
"Then eff ye'll have me, guess bet
ter marry you, Selma"
'Ef I will, Enos, guess ye better"
"Will We, Selina?'
II won't Enos.''
"Shucks, Selma, We better"
That's your say-so, Enos. My idee
Is. bettern'tl''
Certainly, whether she would have
bettered herself or otherwise she did
not marry Enos, and he remained a
bachelor.
Even less Of grace and glamor at
tended the courtship of prosaic youth
by the name Of Joseph and his sweet
hearth that term is not too poetic
the excellent and practical Susannah.
Coming up her fathers farm lane, Jo-
seph perceived her crossing it at the
far end with a bucket of pig wash, and
called to her to wait for him.
"Can't stop, Joe, the pigs are watt
tng!" she shouted back.
"Jest a minute, Sue! got something
to say to vel" yelled Joe.
I'VE can say it after I've fed the
pigs!" shrieked Susannah.
Joe broke into run. AS he ap-
her, where she had paused
reluctantly to await him, he painted in
Eye got to let the darn crit
tiers wait for once, Sue! Hang 1t, I
want to propose!''
"Come along and propose, then" re-
sponded SusannGh with sweet encour-
agement. "Ye kin do it while we feed
the pigs, can't We, JoeT'
Joe could and did; Susannah accept
ed him; the pigs were fed. Whether or
no the match was made in heaven, it
proved as happy as If its atmosphere
Of early bliss on earth had not been
with the aroma of the pigpen.
Years of My Youth.