St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1919-05-03

find this to be far better than trying
to hide it under the table like Gale
cas- used to do. II it happens to be
Friday when you, unfortunately, are
forced to dine with US, you might be
served fish. Should you encounter
a bone that sticks in your throat
don't try to cough it on the other fell
lows plate, if you did it might have
some meat left on it, then he would
get more fish for dinner than you
(the main object is to get the most
OF everything). The most polite
thing to do when facing such a crisis
and delay is to fish for the bone with
fork. Whenever you are lucky
enough to get an even start with the
rest OF the gang do not use the fork,
start in With your knife. Jake Bro
ders says knife can hold great
deal more than fork, especially
after you have mastered it. The
only time for you to use the fork is
when you get ready to clean up.
Be sure you approach the table
with a running jump for the place
you have decided to take, and by all
means be the first one seated and
get into action at once, make the
other fellows remark "how fast you
are" Perhaps you will see a piece
OF tissue paper on the table. They
call this napkin. Pay no attention
to- it, for 1t is not intended to be a
food and serves no good purpose.
Soup always leaks through it to your
shirt. This is something you can
not prevent at our table.
Should the gang appear to be care
less and not start eating at once
don't be deceived, it is only a barrage
and they are trying to throw you off
your guard. Bear well in mind that
you are to start at once, for If you
don't your digestion will suffer.
Never put off for tomorrow what you
can chew today And If at first you
don't fill up, try, try again. If at
any time you think you have reached
your limit take a short rest, then
start again. Eat heavily, If you don't
Kelly will. After you have followed
my instructions the gang will be cap
tlVated by your excellent table man
ners and good breeding, but rest as
sured they will see to it that you are
from all future contests.
In order to prove your good breed
ing be sure to carelessly knock a few
spoons, knives and forks to the floor.
When you pick them up slip few
into your pocket. If you practice do
ing this. You will soon be able to 60
INTO the cutlery business. Should
he waiter make a mistake and serve
zee cream don't try to swallow 1t In
jumps, just pat it with a spoon and
make a soup out of it when you can
rink it down, thereby saving a lot
II time. Morris has made a great
success Of this.) If coffee doesn't
'uit you spill it ON your neighbor's
ap, but be sure and tell him that
vou really didn't care for it anyway.
Valdin always drinks the contents
If the finger bowl, but it's best not to
10 this for it Is possible that it was
lsed properly at the preceding meal.
t, after handling the food, you are
compelled to wash your hands, be
'ure and call for a bar of soap.
After you have made a good lather
n the finger bowl, do as Pons does,
wipe on the table cloth. II a piece
# meat happens to crawl off your
'late capture 1t at once, for If you
10 not you will be meatless. Should
-ou spill any gravy on the table cloth
'rab slice Of bread and butter it,
lace bread over gravy spot, butter
ID side down, so 1t wont slip. When
ou drink water don't try and initiate
soda fountain, like Packard does,
or this takes much practice. Don't
at any salads. You may find that
7hile you were dressing your salad
tockfieth had finished the entire
ontents of the table.
My last advice to contestants is,
eep away from our table, for you
ave no chance with us-we are all
4 the pink of condition and unbeat-
BILE.