The Washington herald., 1918-01-14

Special Correspondent Of The Washington Heah
New York. Jan. 13-As Samuel
Pepys would record in his diary: Lay
late planning some stories 7 vowed L
would write at the beginning Of the
new year. but which 1 know 1 will
not do because 1 detest the actual
labor thereof.
For a walk in the park and found
the air very crisp and my dog i'll at
ease and whimpering until 1 found a
cut in his foot made by an ice thong
and at the lake they were dragging
out a young man who had broken
through and who kept saying Judas
Priest" which struck me as comick.
Came T Everett Harre, the novelist.
to call and he tells me OF his home
in the Cumberland Mountains. but
would liefer live in the city with all
venison pasty the best ever tasted
and met Ray Long, the editor, and we
discussed this and that and he tells
Of his bitter hatred for the wash
room boys who annoy guests in Goth
am taverns.
Home on a tram car where some
high words passed between the con-
ductor and I about the payment of
fare and I refused to pay twice and
took his number and vowed I would
write to his employers for his dis
charge which will never do.
Great talk about the coal shortage
and how many are leaving the city for
other places until the blizzard abates.
To an afternoon tea where 1 sat en-
tranced looking at a man who wore a
monocle with the greatest east ever
saw and he seemed real human like
withal.
Home all the evening casting my
accounts and my wife. poor wretch,
showed me the many sweaters and
things she hath knit for the soldiers
which pleases me greatly. And so to
bed.
Prexy Theodore Shonts, who occu-
pies the chair of daily hints to sub
way slackers in the Sardine Univer-
sity. author of Watch Your STEP"
Keep on My Foot 1.-The Unfolded
Newspaper" and many other classics
that he who rides may read. has Just
lectured his classes upon the subject
Of 1.-The Camoufiage Kpitting Bag"
Mr.. Shonts declares that women are
riding on the subways with huge knit
ting bags that occupy much space.
He complains that all of the ten
room and two bath bags carried by
women do not contain knitting for
the soldiers.
These bags occupy space that he
thinks could be better occupied by the
tired business man. But he does not
tell what the bags contain. 1t is
limited that In many OF them are mixed
cocktails. perfumes and other things
not essential to the red-blooded SOL
der.
There were many odd subterfuges to
secure coal during the famine-but the
most ingenious comes from Brooklyn.
A high-salaried employe of a big cor
poration rose from a truck driver.
One particular zeroish morning he
found his home as comfortable as an
Arctic igioo.
He browbeat, cajoled and threatened
coal dealers over the phone, but all
tearfully protested that they were alb
solutely coalless. So the head Of the
finally donned old clothes, applied to a
coal yard for Job and on account
Of having a drivers experience got the
job.
He was ordered to deliver three tons
to an exclusive section. Instead he
took the coal home and emptied IL into
his bins. Then he returned to the
coal yards, paid over the cash, laughed
at the indignation and an hour later
was back on his regular Job. This
man will own the corporation that en-
ploys him some day.
Harry Houdini, at the Hippodrome.
Is making an elephant disappear be-
fore the vast audiences daily and
somebody has written in to the man
agement protesting against such
waats Of elephants.