davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

Some folks say we should have
more holidays. but the truth OF the
matter is that we should have feWer
holidays. After a man has taken q
day Off he feels like he has taken q
year on.
There would be an awful lot of
work accomplished in his world TX we
would only do half as much Today as
we intend doing Tomorrow.
Two men can live together for q
year and remain good pals. But a
man and q woman can do II.
When you consider all the exercise
she gets from jumping at conclusions.
o wonder how q woman ever gets
fat.
Why not prohibit the manufacture
and male OF clothes? No man ever
thought as much of booze as a woman
thinks of clothes.
If the law compelled every man to
advertise his mistakes in a daily news
paper some of the efficiency experts
would &c broke paying for advertis-
ing space.
The man who uses liquid shoe pol
ish on his mustache thinks he has an
awful yelp coming when he discovers
that the woman he marries Is q chem
ical blonde.
A plain, ordinary man can't under
stand why it is all right to wash your
hands at the table when o get
through eating and why it is all wrong
to pick your teeth at h table when
you get through eating.
1t is mighty lucky for us that hips
not In style right now. We need
the cotton for war purposes.
Considering that 1t Is none of their
business, ii is wonderful how little in
the Ants take in what we eat
and what we wear.
And what has become of the old
fashioned man who used to beat his
wife?
A woman always suffers from In
somnia the nights that her husband
talks in his sleep.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Daily HO, oScobe
Tuesday, November 5, is1s.)

copyright, 1918, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
This day is balanced by good and ILL.,
according to astrology. While Mer-
curry and Mars are in beneic aspect,
Saturn and Jupiter are adverse.
1t is a sway rarely fortunate for
military affairs and good news APP
pears to be foreshadowed.
Machinery of all sorts is subject to
the best conditions and should bring
good fortune. This applies to war OPP
erations involving big guns, tanks and
whatever moves by fine mechanism.
This is q sign forbidding to the sue
cess of very old persons. and especially
those who already occupy high place.
election of aged offlceholders.
Promotions in the army are prog
~nosticated and honors are forecast for
two American officers who will super
sede those now in command.
Saturn again seems to be In sinister
sway over mines. Trouble may arise
through labor shortage or the discon-
tent OF workers.
Mercury appears to promise fair
fortunes to young writers who will
build up a new American literature In
which poetry will be conspicuous.
There is a planetary sway threaten
ing to all who occupy places that give
them dominion over their fellow men,
This Is most .menacing to ~inanciers
as well as to kings.
There Is a forecast OF a dispute be-
tween the British government and a
nation supposed to be friendly to II.
Hospitals have the best sort of q
planetary government. so far as finan-
cial support and scientific achieve
ments are concerned. but there may
be a tendency to criticise their man
agement.
Mars. sextile to Uranus, promises
rapid development of the naval air
service.
Sudden and extraordinary deaths
are forecast by the seers. A public
man may lose his life in a Spectacular
manner.
Persons whose birthdate 1t is may
have many ups and downs In the
coming year. n even through their
entire lives. t ~ should guard
against false repC s.
Children born o. this day may be
obstinate. self-willed and Disconnected
These subjects of Scorpio usually pos
sess good abilities.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
GosIii
Old King Cole

ola KING Cole
Was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe
And he called for his bowl,
And he cllaed for his fiddlers three.
But just then q Cop stepped in and
told Old King Cole that it was
against the law to drink out of any
thing but a bottle and it was against
the law to have an entertainment dur
ing the Spanish Influenza epidemic,
and cited Old King Cole for violation
of the regulations laid down by the
Health oficer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Describing Him.

'sThat Teller is such a fool" com
mented the gaunt Missourian, shat
reckon likely when he was q baby his
NAV used to hold him by the ankles
and tote him around with his head
hanging down like a cbicken."-Kan-
sas City Star.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Then 1t Happened.

"I wonder if you could?" unused
the Rummy, as he stuck a half pint
into his hip pocket.
you wonder If you could what?"I
demanded the Barkeep. as grabbed
a bottle.
at wonder If you ciuld say that the
inscriptions on electric signs are bril-
liant remarks" replied the Rummy,
as he headed for the door.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
OH

az think IL is wrong for you to take
your boy out of school when he is only
16,' said the High School Principal
"Why 1 didn't finish my education I'M
til l was 81"
"Oh, well' replied Mr., Coop, some
kids is brighter than other kids and
they learn quicker"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
oh, Joyi

They tell us that the very newest
cure for rheumatism is a drug called
II
you suffer from rheumatism you had
better jot the name down on your cuff
so you won't forget 1t.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Grammar.

She was a High School graduate
1 know, because / heard her sigh;
a couple of sodas. Kate,
For ME an her is awful dry"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

There are no cuss words in the Jap
Vocabulary" said Bill Flam;
For this the Japdon't care a rap
For he soon learns the English
'd-n."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Is That So!

Dear Luke: / see that the BARRIERS
are wearing influenza masks. Wig
not complete our happiness and make
them wear gags?-D. J.. H..
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

what are parts of speech any
way ?" asked the Boob.
why, hyphens, of course replied
the Wise Guy.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

Our boys have licked the dirty Hun
The Kultur Skunk is on the run;
And yon can bet he's mighty glad
To stop and holler: "Kamerad!"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Things to Worry About.
cootie has no jew teeth.


People will feel sorry for you IL you
are wearing your foot In a bandage or
your arm in a sling. But don't expect
amy sympathy II you are wearing 4
mouse under your eve.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
How Many Are There?
NOWADAYS.

We arc sending one OF the CLUBS
expert accountants to Chipley. Geor-
gia, to Adde'S Bugs.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

don't teach children music. Nay
That day is past and gone.
Instead. we just show them the way
To put a record OF
Luke McLuke.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
Bits of By-Pldy


BY LUKE McLUkE
Copyright, 1918, the Cincinnati
Enquirer
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04

We don't teach children anything,
But wherefore make a fuss?
They're so precocious now. by jinI
That they are teaching us.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-04
The Versatile Daphne,

That they are teaching us.
Newark Advocate.
The Versatile Daphne.
(From 'Old Dad" in the Woman's
Home Companion.)
ooh. Old-Dadi" shivered Daphne,
Forget it," quivered Daphne.
Yes" parted Daphne.
Where did you find him." Weakened
Daphne.
"well?" quickened Daphne.
Fudge nothing f1ared Daphne.
Lost Man, famed Dahpne.
whats my name?" giggled Daphne
WHY" yawned Daphne.
isn't that funny p" ierked Daphne.
"A honeymoon" jumped Daphne.
"Why. how silly!" reused Daphne.
u don't understand" sobered
my father isn't good" tortured
Daphne.
I'm running away" glowed Daphne
You talk like father WINGED
"why?" babbled Daphne.
Carer" hooted Daphne.
"Oh!" danced Daphne.
You mean?" blanched Dpahne.
MY house!" collapsed Daphne.
Things to Worry About.
A cootie has no jew teeth.
Names Is Nmaes.
Ina Kerr ives In Sanders, Ill.
Our Daily Special.
Many Are Called. But Few Get Up
Right Away.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16

tellect, OF the highest Christian ideals
and possession OF the secret OF the Joy
OF living, priceless heritage to be
handed down 10 the little son too
young to know his loss.
SO that his last resting place may
be in the city where perhaps the hap
piest years of his life were spent,
and where he was universally loved
and respected by hundreds. the rel
mains OF the late George w. Leonard
will be inferred in Hermosa cemtery
tomorrow, Saturday, afternoon at 2
o'clock. There will be no service at
the undertaking chapel, but at the
graveside Ashlar Lodge II. a. A. NJ,
will conduct the burial ceremonies OF
the order although the full member
ship cannot be called out on account
OF the quarantine restrictions. Mr..
Leonard became Mason at Crystal
Falls, Michigan, but later transferred
his membership to the Cotton lodge.
In yesterdays account OF his death
slight mistake was made in stating
that arrangements for the obsequies
pended the arrival of his sisters and
brother, as Il was only word from the
sisters that was awaited The broth
err, Alec. a sergeant mechanic, is now
in France and although two letters
came during Mr.. Leonard's illness, he
was too sick to have them read to
him.
One sister. Miss Myrtle Leonard.
is a normal student at Marquette
Michigan, where she is. fitting herself
for kindergarten teacher, while the
other, Miss Octavia Leonard, since
her graduation from high school one
year ago. has been training for a Red
Cross nurse in st. Luke's hospital,
Chicago.
Mrs. Janet Fish, mother OF Mrs.
Leonard. has been here from Sierra
Madre all through her son-in-law's i'll
ness, while Fay Fish, brother OF the
young widow, who has the deep sym
pathy OF scores OF friends, arrived
this morning from Sucson, Arizona.
AS yet Mrs. Leonard has made no
plans for the future. but for the time
being at least she and the little ten
months'-old son will remain in Col
ton.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.

will mean more than ever TO thought
full people, but II will not be a season
for extravaganza: only worthwhile
Christmas presents VIII be given.
Fer nearly one hundred years The
Youths Companion has been the pop
ular Christmas present. II always
has been the best present for so little
money. because the paper means so
much 10 the family life and continues
to come every week throughout the
year.
Tho following special offer is made
&c new subscribers:
/. The Youths Companion--52 is
sues OF 1919
2. All the remaining weekly is
sues of 1918.
3. The Companion Home Calendar
for 1919.
All the above for only $500. or you
may include,
4. McCall's Magazine-12 fashion
numbers. All for only $3.50. The two
magazines may be sent to separate
addresses II desired.
THE YOUTHS COMPANION.
Commonwealth ave, st. Paul Street
Boston, Massachusetts,.
New subscriptions received at this
ONCE.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16

Roll called on the above motion
and resolution as follows. Ayes
Commissioners Gibson and Holmes,
Carried.
On motion the board adjourned.
w. A. HOLMES, Chairman.
John Wall, Secretary.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
Budget for Year 1919.

Be 1t resolved by the board OF Co.
Road Commissioners OF the County OF
Iron in regular session assembled at
the court house in the city OF Crystal
Falls on the 18th day OF September,
1918. that the sum OF sixty-eight
thousand eight hundred eighty-two
dollars and sevently-three cents $685.
SS2.73) be raised for county road
purposes in the county OF Iron for the
ensuing year. said money to be ex-
pended on the following roads and
parts OF roads in Iron county in the
proportions mentioned hereinafter:
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
COUNTY ROAD COMMISSIONERS.

Sept. is. 1918.
Meeting OF the board OF county road
commissioners held at their office in
the court house at Crystal Falls, Mich.
this 18th day OF September 1918.
Meeting was called to order by w.
A. Holmes, chairman with the follow
ing members present: Gibson and
Holmes. Absent, Wall.
Moved by Gibson and seconded by
Holmes that the following bills, pay
rolls and estimate be allowed as read
Moved by Gibson and seconded by
Holmes that the following budget for
1919 be presented to the county board
of supervisors at their annual meet
ing for their recommendations.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
October End, 1918.

Meeting OF the board OF County
Road Commissioners held at their
office in the court house at Crystal
Falls Michigan, this End day Of Oc-
tcher. 1918.
Meeting was called TO order by w.
A. Holmes. chairman with the follow
ing Numbers present: Holmes and
Wall. Absent, Gibson
Moved by Commissioner Wall and
supported Holmes that all bills, pay
rolls and estimate be allowed as fol-
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
E. p. GAGE COMPANY
Investment Bankers.
161 Devonshirc Street, Boston, Massacl

161 Devonshirc Street. Boston. Massachusetts,
Trustee International Trust Co
Transfer Agent: Hanover Trust Company.
Auditors: Business Statistics. -
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
October 10th. 1918.

Meeting Of the County Road Com
missioners Of Iron county. held at
their Office in the court house at the
city OF Crystal Falls this 10th day Of
October, 1913.
Meeting was called to order by w.
A. Holmes, chairman, with the fol-
lowing members present: Commits
sioners Gibson and Holmes. Absent,
Jas s. Wall.
Moved by Commissioner Gibson and
supported by Commissioner Holmes.
that all bills. payrolls and estimates
no llnwnI 10 RAD.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
Lavish Spender.

Il see you good deal with young
Flubdub."
Yes. auntie."
81 hope you are not going to mar
ry a spendthrift"
"Oh. no. l don't think I'll marry
him. But it's nice going around with
one."-Kansas City Journal.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
YOUR TIME HAS ARRIVED

With the end of the sight your
shipping
been profitable hay
GREATEST OPPORTUNITY
Owing fields
rushing
MILLION DOLLARS the
experienced men anticipated these conditions and the
B0STON-kENTUCY OIL COMPANY
indication being highly
COMPANY
$50
purchased
rentals royalties We production
oil demand
subscriptions
bought and paid for
for all the stockholders
Oh
its shares ten cents share We
Fifteen
participate
lucky OIL Company BOSTONKENTuCKY
capitalization unusually
before drilling begins The price the drill
which will
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
Temperance Expert.

Said Satan: sinners, fail to fret.
This warmth appears to please 'em.
I'll find way to get 'em yet.
I'll stop the coal and freeze EN-"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
The Only Things Left.

cant you give me something left
from your last meal to eat, ma'am?"
asked the tramp at the kitchen door.
But. my man. you couldn't eat
prune pits" said the boarding house
lady. Yongers Statesman.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16
An Originator.

my latest painting"
II never saw sunset look like
that"
We'll. what do you think / ana
mere copyist?-Pittsburgh Post.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16

Roll CT on the above motion as
follows, Ayes: Wall and Holmes.
Carried.
On motion the board adjourned
w. A. HOLMES. Chairman.
John Wall, Secretary.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1918-11-16

M. b. Waite .............. $500
c. Treas. ................. 306.S1
Standard Oil Co. ........... 775.0s
Four-wheel Drive Auto Co.,. 440
Bark River Bridges. Co. -. 114.96
Lindwall & Lindstrom $500. $3.50
Ihling Bros. a. Everard -. 9.65
Barrett Co. ........ 10000
Hematite Mere. Co. ........ Ss4
Mich State Tel Co. ...... $50
Standard Oil Co. ..... 5000
Roll called on the above motion
as follows. ayes. Gibson and Holmes.
Carried.
Moved by Commissioner Gibson
and supported by Commissioner
Holmes that the following portion OF
the old county road known as the
Crystal Fails-Amasa road beginning
at Station 6s and ending at Station
220 be abandoned and turned over to
the township OF Crystal Falls for fu-
ture repairs and maintenance. Car
ried.
On motion the board adjourned.
w. A. HOLMES, Chairman.
John Wall, Secretary.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09
NATURE CURES, AND THE
DOCTOR TAKES THE FEE

There IL an old saying that Mature
cures. and the doctor takes the fee."
but ~ everyone knows you can help
Nature very much and thereby en-
able 1t to effect cure in much less
time than 10 usually required. This
|is particularly true Of colds. Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy relieves the
lungs, liQuifies the tough mucus and
aids in Its expectoration. allays the
cough and aids Nature In restoring
the system to q healthy condition.
Advt.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09
CONSTIPATION AND INDIGESTION


These are twin evils. Persons SUI.
fering from indigestion are often
troubled with constipation. Mrs
Robert Allison. Mattoon. ILL.,. writes
that when she first moved to Mat.
toon ahe was . great sufferer from
Indigestion and constipation. Food
distressed her and there WAS . feel
ing like . heavy weight pressing on
her stomach and chest. She did net
rest we'll 1t night. and felt worn eut
. good part Of the time One bottle
Of Chamberiain's Tablets corrected
this trouble 20 that she has sinee
felt IKE . different person. Advt.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09
Weston Women's War Service Week

From April 8 to is IL Western
Woman's War Service Week. Read
what you may do to serve your coun-
try, and make the burden lighter
for those near the battle line, and
then do your duty.
Colonel Richard w. Young Of the
14Sth Field Artillery. in talk to
the Salt Lake Rotary Club ON the ef-
Aciency Of his regiment. said: 1T IL
the little things that count. It 10 the
little things that make the big things
and We are paying attention to the
little things. working constantly,
striving to become efficient in every
respect"
II Il 10 efficiency in little things
n the army that helps win the war
then surely II Il the little things the
great army Of women who stand back
.cf our boys are doing that viii count
mest. II Il the pennies the children
save to buy baby bonds. the ounces
Of fats and flour saved that make
for big savings.
Ono woman may say: what II the
uss Of my saving when I see my
asishbor wasting fats?" IL this any
reason why she should b less loyais
he kaiser d comforting himself
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09

with the thought that the American
women will easily become dlscourag-
cd and careless in making daily sacri.
fices. II big sacrifice were demand
ed Of them the whole nation would
rise In q mountain Of strength, but
the little sacrifice will soon seem too
petty to continue. A
The real American woman will be
efiicient In little things. She will
weigh her patriotism BY ounces. for
ounces make pounds. II every house.
wife saves an ounce Of flour or but
ter each meal, this, multiplied by the
number Of houses ON her street, then
by every street in town. very town in
the state every stlte in America.
what great saving there win be.
The woman who does not save win
soon be weighed In the balance. She
ID either working for or against the
kaiser.
We havS not begun to make big
sacrincss. The woman who says: Il
want to do something big for my
country" must nrst be proficient in
little things. The woman who cannot
do the little things will not be able
to do the big things:
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09

WeaeeN coeoA tooA <Ssor teWoA 3
,FishlnG - Samoan seas u oftsa doQa
blythe wonsK end without asls. bea1s
q h0okA They dmply wa0e into he
water and form themselves Into . ring.
The fishes being 70 plentiful, they are
almost sure to impsison some % the
ring. These women are very quick and
active, and every time they catch .
nsh with their hands they simply throw
Il, alive, Into the basket on their back.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09
Endurance d Relndeers.

The reindeer Ia sud to be able to
endure more fatigue than any other
draft animal except the camel.
It has been known to pull 200 pounds
10 miles an hour for IL hours.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1918-04-09
WnnAAAAa 0nIA ~
THE SOLDIER GIRL
sy MELVIN STRIVING.

h NH -, esle1ss1s - 49,
10 lYskl stSS loe Suiding hin u ~
ror. aftss having washed end u.
packed, he made HE way lslsursiy Into
the broad sun parioe and discovered
Ddythe Norton. She was reading ..
book, and the llrst thing be noticed'
was that her long black eyslashes lay.
carelessly upon the pink Of her ehseks.
She gave not the slightest indication
Of noting his presence. Instead che
looked over and through him, ana
turned again to her book.
Dick felt suddenly that OLD Point
Comfort wasn't all that II was cracked
up to be. He started to back ont Of
the palm room, but a. he did % q
young man In uniform brushed past
him and approached the girl Of the
black eyes. She sensed his coming
and looked mp with smile Of greet
ing, and there was something In the
way she smiled which made Dick
Huber wish for the frst time In his
life that he had gone to West Point
instead Of to Harvard.
He wandered aimlessly about. the
hotel for . time. his thoughts on the
girl he had seen. Still pondering. he
found himself back At the desk Of the
hotel. A clean-cut young fellow was
In charge, and for want Of something
to do. Dick engaged him In CONVERSE
ton. He found, after Z time, that the
clerk was . Harvard man also: that
he had been forced to leave college
for q year because OF lack az funds.
and that he knew everybody IN the
hotel. So Dick questioned him guard
eddy about the girl he had seen, and
found that her name was Edythe Nor.
ton; that she intended to stay at the
Point until the first Of March, and that
every good-looklng soldier at the Coast
ARTILLERY Training school vas crazy
about her. " E,i,sfe-r TinTt :; IN,
''Other fellows come from up. North
to zee her." the clerk announced. ~But
NO one without Z uniform has .
chance q
Dick wandered into the dining room
AFTER . time Whaling moro than ever
that he had .kous u west rN(it.
But the ne1t morning. thfua3h one
Of those rare pieces Of luck whieif
come to % IN now and then, he found
. mutual acquaintance who introduced
him. That was the beginning. OF the
happiest month Of his life February
wore away and the time came for him
- ~ haNk Nnpfh eHa vnoAA = Anlnnp~ -
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-12-05
. = = = = > : , = : = , ; = :
~~-S-~S~O~S~
SECURE THIS STATE AID

~ HE vital thing in connec-
VI ton with road work for
the future will be for the
county to take full advantage
of state and federal aid. The
county that, extends, a full eff
fort to secure such help is go
ing to gain heavily. 1t will OBJ
tain. permanent work covering
many miles of road and this
permanent work will do much
to eliminate future expense.
In view of assurances that
the state will gravel the road
from Pendleton to the Morrow
county line, via Echo, if the
road is graded by the county
most people will heartily=ap-
prove of the suggestion that
the county should go the limit
to secure such work. The move
if successful will be of real
benefit to the whole county for
the reason that when the work
is done we will have disposed
of one of our chief highway
problems and sources of COM
plant. The attractive feature
about the present case, of
course, is the fact that the
state, through its graveling
work, will be taking a heavier
part of the load than will the
county. With such a prospect
as this it is no time for people
to become too technical. Re-
suits are what the people real
ly want. Common sense re-
quires that every possible eff
fortg be made to secure the
maXfmum amount of state aid.