Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1918-10-02
A SAILOR HUMOR|ST
DONALD MILLMAN OF PLATTE.
VILE, WRITES FUNNY AND IN
TERESTING LETTER HOME.
(Platteville Witness.)
At Sea.

At Sea.
Dearest Mother:-
| have been awfully slow about
writing, but please forgive me. Since
l wrote last l have had some fine ex-
periences. Some time ago we went
to England. 1t was treat to get
back to English speaking people. The
port where we were was pretty fair,
| but l got a four days leave and went
to London. That is a real town, at
least as real as anything European
/ can be, with the exception of Paris.
Aunt Elizabeth remembers it, sup
pose. l have forgotten whether you
went there or not on your trip.
The trip down to London was
through some typically English coun-
try and was very picturesque and Of
ten beautiful. OF course it was fine
to travel in an English coach with
side doors and dinky engine. At
every stop (there were but three) we
had time to get out and have "tea. !"
You should see us at tea. Why we
Out-Englished the Englishman when
it came to tea.
London itself is city of omnibus
es. It's "buses to the left of us, bus
es to the right of us, buses before us,
buses behind us land buses on top of
us if we didn't watch our step roar
ed and Numbered" Double-decked
buses with young women to collect the
pennies. The worst thing about lady
conductors is that one can't swear at
em or bawl 'em out when they short
change you, or you can't talk back
when they order you out. We got to
the Eagle, but after some hunting.
1t is a wonderful Y M C. A., God
send for the sailors and soldiers.
You can get everything from a pin to
a chess board. 1t being filled up we
stayed at a nice hotel with real bed
and bath and we had some right reg
ular meals, as far as war meals go.
Of course l took that bus trip
around the town and saw many old
and historic sites and sights, and
some new and historic and infamous
sites and sights. can't begin to men
ton all the usual Cook and Baedecker
series of WORTH ooking-at- but
two or three stand out. The tower of
London was the first place. How /
should dislike to have been king or
queen in those old days for as sure as
you were born you were destined to
DC U0u0du0U III Tie DIOOuy 1OWOI VI
somewhere just as bad and it seemed
as though everybody was brought
there to die the death of hero or
martyr to save the someone else's
cause. There were some wonderful
exhibits of armour and implements of
war of all ages, but most especially
the age of chivalry. After that walk
and talk we had to have tea, oh my
goodness yes!
"Our next STOP ladies and gentle
men, is the Westminster Abbey. You
will see it looming up on our right"
Eyes right! (Ours is military guide
an old retired soldier, but his Zine"
hasn't tired yet "That big stone.
pile is that famous" ETC., etc. AID in
finitum and everything else again.
Nov, lad, just one moment before we
go in" ct was raining like real
London weather) II want to say that
l want to take you in an ancient part,
but it is closed to all except the uni
form and to them unless each parts
with thrippence (3d,) and let me say,
if any of you want to buy any cards,
do it now. The old lady You see is
very deserving, is blind, old, decrepit,"
etc., and we bit and some bought.
Anyhow we passed clerical and clerg-
ical old hypocrites who were tickled
to death to take tippence in the