New-York tribune., 1918-06-26
No Title
By Haywood Broun
NO. l..

a Z.
the catalogues arrived it was "the
farm" Now we call it "our farm"
although the land is still in Spain abutting
on the castle Chiefly, the place is for
Michael. The backyard is much too small
for him, and too formal. He regards the
house with affection, no doubt, but with
none of that respect which he has for the
backyard. He is, as you might say, thor
oughly yard broken. When he puts his
paws against the front door and barks for
freedom he would be u harsh person in
deed who would refuse to plan planta-
tion, a large one, for him. Of course,
there was Il, the Third, to consider.
also. but he seemed less restive. Things
beyond the borders of a pram are SO
foreign.
By eliminating Maine, Ohio and all
farms priced at more than twenty thousand
dollars, we succeeded at length in narrow
ing the field of selection to three. One.
which has the attractive name of Farm
No. 81, is in Connecticut. 1t has "good
American neighbors on all sides" 1t is
only half a mile to some village, not speci-
fed. Four Of the ten acres are tilable
aHu tHe TtSI lS III JlmOcT ounce CneTe are
at least ESQ cords Of wood bringing five
to six dollars per cord, the author of the
catalogue is entirely justified in the use Of
the phrase "ridiculously low" regarding
the price of $1,000 The author of the
catalogue goes on to say that "the owner
is an aged widow" and we have gath
cred the impression that the author means
to intimate that she is not quite compe-
tent. This would explain the ridiculouslv
low price
However, we wish to defend our motives
in favoring Farm No. 81. 1t was not the
opportunity to swinde widow out of her
homestead which tempted us, nor even the
cordwood, but single sentence almost at
the bottom OF the description. 1t read,
aged owner, for quick sale, will include
good mare that has paced mile in 1920"
This would bring the village half a mile
away within one minute and ten seconds.
while the good American neghbors would
be only seconds away
F. was the DEVILS advocate. "The
description doesn't tell enough" she COM
planned. "The 1920 doesn't mean anything
unless it says track fast, start good, won
driving OF something like that. And I'd
like to know who held the watch. I think
we ought to know what year it was that
she made that mile in 2:20. Doesn't it. saw
that the woman is an aged widow? Doesn't
it stand to reason that she must have
bought that fast mare some time in her
forties, at least? Anyway, 2:2o isn't so
very fast for PAGER. Dan Patch did it.
in less than two minutes"
In default Of more definite information
about the pacing mare, we turned to
farm called "Coin Money on a Barpa;n +"
This is an oyster farm, as it borders two
thousand feet on the Patuxent River. The
tillage as the author says, as loamv and
hne Tor trucking" 1t is we'll fruted 20
apples and grapes. I drew, as l thought.
rather attractive picture of scene before
the big open fireplace in the modern four-
room bungalow of "Coin Money on q Bar-
gain" I pictured the group telling stories
and roasting apples and stewing grapes and
Trying oysters over the embers R
interrupted to say that without doubt, Just
as soon as Ii. the Third began to
crawl ne would fall into the river with the
oysters.
eyes," said E, "and Michael would
Try and eat shells, and they'd disagree
with him. like that coal he got hold o.
last night"
| mentioned the fact that oysters cost
from thirty to fifty cents for half dozen
portion and spoke of the manner in which
ane sheiliish could be crowded along a
o,000-foot front
YES said E., aggressively, "but
how are you going to get them to market ,"
There | had her. "You have forgotten
the description" I remarked. at saws N.
farm is fine for trucking"
But "coin Money on Bargain" is still,
on tho market Just now we are torn
between place in Ulster County called
Only Nine Hundred Dollars Needed" and
Jersey home named "one-Man Farm
Equipped"