Trench and camp. [volume] (Augusta, Ga.) 1917-1919, 1918-03-20
THE REAL WORLD SERIES

Thus spake the naughty Kaiser 'I'm
for kicking up a row;
Let's pick on France and Russia-they'
easy for us now;
They sleep the slesp of children, they lack
the fighters pep;
Wen slam EN- with Kruppie and Wei
smash 'efn with a Yep.
From Bismarck have / learned the game,
although he was a clod,
And Frederick was a busher compared
with me and God.
But I've oiled UP this old souper and I've
wised me to the game;
Now I'll show EN- how to sling EN-, tho
my south-paw pulls up lame
''All right" quoth Capt. Nicholas, count
Russia in this fray
And France arises to remark, Let the
veteran F'renchman play"
You can bank on me- shouts England;
that's jolly game for me;
I'm q sticker to the finish-and I'll get
them all at sea-"
The German led off sharply with a siz-
Zler over short,
And he drew up fast at Brussels, with a
gurgle and a snort.
He slammed en- through the infield at
old Tommy Atkins shins,
And they're bowling in the bleachers as
the bloody game begins.
Mon Dieu,' walls Papa Joffre as he's
warming up his wing;
ITS up to me to hold 'en-tho' 1 haven t
got a thing.
We must check them right at Paris, or
the world is out of luck
So he worked them over faster and fam
ned out Fritz Won Kluck.
Then the Kaiser on the players bench
looked up a bit dismayed,
His poker face a scowling-just likes lone
who's been betrayed.
The second opened swiftly and the Ger
man scores one more
For Hindenburg is stuffing down the
Russian in his nav,
And the Kaiser. growing holder, cries,
IVf-f ffal1 INV aIsY3Del vino
As floater it's corker-and it's deadly
on the beam
But Johnny Bull is smiling there's a
twinkle in his eye,
For he looks the pitcher over and he'll
get him bye and bye.
So Billy keeps. on plugging and he uses
all his stuff,
While he busters. kicks and crabs about
the Allies being rough.
Turkey hits, is thrown out stealing and
the Bulgar draws a walk
AS the Serbian kicks the ball about Won
Mackensen CLAIMS the cork.
But Italy stops his drive far DER the
snow-clad Alps,
And Austria keeps right at it-she loves
Rumanian ScalpS.
The Grown Prince tries to beat one out
tbs but sad parade,
For the Frenchman tags him neatly with
smoking hand grenade.
Ear Nicky gets northumberland his
coaching it is PANIED,
(uA he ny pays Win the umpire anu he
finds that he is canned.
The game is nip and tuck, and the
Kaiser weakening fast,
Ks the Allied nine is getting to his gas
sy" ball at last
The Frenchman drives through Verdun,
England clouts one over Lille,
rhe Italian. staunch near Venice, slams
the nauseating pill.
With England, France and Italy a camp
ing on the bags,
rhe bleachers now are waving all their
bunting and their flags,
For a stalwart slugger's coming--see him
swagger to the plate;
His stick he swings so gaily-to the
Kaiser's Flynn of Hate"
He knows the game he's playing-it's a
pipe-a red-hot cinch
And he always viii deliver when he comes
up in a pinch.
rhe Kaiser 1obs one over, froWn and kicks
the dust about,
And he winces when the grand stands
yelling, "Take the Kaiser QUIT
he pegs the last one over-Uncle Sam is
on the job,
And they all start for the exits when he
slams it on the knob.
So like Old Nappy Bonaparte-the great
est of them all
Poor Kaiser Bill-against his will-goes
out for once and ALL.
by Joseph A. Deegan, 18th Railway En-
gineers