davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
CHAPTER III.
1 Go to Church.

Upon enlistment we had identity
disks issued to US. These were small
disks of red fiber worn around the neck
by means of string Most of the Tom
mics also used little metal disk which
they wore around the left wrist by
means of a chain They had previous
ly figured 1t out that if their heads
were blown off. the disk on the left
wrist would identify them. If they lost
their left arm the disk around the neck
would serve the purpose, but if their
head and left arm were blown off. no
one would care who they were. so 1t
did not matter. On one side of the
disl; was inscribed your rank. name,
number and battalion while on the
other was stamped your religion.
G. of F., meaning Church of Eng
land; r. c., Roman Catholic; W., Yves
leyan; P, Presbyterian but if you
happened to be an atheist they left 1t
blank, and just handed you pick and
shovel. On my disk was stamped G. of
e. This is how / got 1t The lieuten-
ant who enlisted me asked my religion.
was not sure of the religion of the
British army so l answered, "Oh, any
old thing" and he promptly put down
G. of Z.
Now, just imagine my hard luck. Out
of five religions l was unlucky enough
to pick the only one where church
parade was compulsory
The next morning was Sunday. l
was sitting In the billet writing home
to my sister telling her of my wonder
full exploits while under fire-all re-
cruits do this. The sergeant major put
his head In the door of the billet and
shouted: &C. of e. outside for church
parade -
kept on writing. Turning to me, in
a loud voice, he asked, "Empey, aren't
you C. of E.Y'
answered. yep"
In an angry tone, he commanded,
Don't you yep me. Say. Yes, ser
geant major"
81 did So Somewhat Modified. he
ordered. "Outside for church parade"
l looked up and answered. Il am
not going TO church this morning"
He said, "Oh, yes, you arer
I answered, "Oh, no, I'm not But
I went
We lined up outside with rifles and
bayonets, 100 rounds of ammunition,
wearing our tin hats, and the march
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
CHAPTER II.-continued.

The greatest shock a recruit gets
when he arrives at his battalion in
France is TO see the men engaging in
"cOotie" hunt. With an air of con-
tempt and disgust he avoids the COM
pany of the older men, until a couple
of days later, In torment of itching,
he also has to resort to shirt hunt,
or spend many a sleepless night of
misery. During these hunts there are
lots of pertinent remarks banded back
and forth among the explorers, such
as. "Say, Bill, I'll swap you two little
ones for big one" or, 1--WE got
black one here that looks Ike Kaiser
Bill"
One sunny day in the front-line
trench, saw three officers sitting out
side of their dugOut ("cootles" are no
respecters of rank have even noticed
a suspicious uneasiness about a certain
well-known generaD. one of them was
a major, two of them were exploring
their shirts, paying no attention TO the
occasional shells which passed over
head. The major was writing a letter
every now and then he would lay aside
his writing-pad. search his shirt for a
few minutes, get an inspiration, and
then resume writing. At last he fin
ished his letter and gave 1t to his run
ner." l was curious to see whether he
was writing to an insect firm. so when
the runner passed me l engaged him
in conversation and got a glimpse at
the address on the envelope. 1t was
addressed 70 Miss Alice Somebody. in
London. The runner" informed me
that Miss Somebody was the majors
sweetheart and that he wrote to her
every day. Just imagine it. writing a
love letter during 'cootie" hunt; but
such is the creed of the trenches.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
THE SPRING DRIVE

Our boys are going cover the top"
and into mo mans land" this spring.
No one has any doubt Of their ability
to get there. There I'm also be a
spring drive on this side of the ocean
because March is the years blue Mon
day" 1t is the most fatal month Of the
year. March and April is time when
resistance usually is at lowest ebb. IL
IS q trying season fer the rundown
man. But medical science steps in, and
says, at need not bel We should cul-
tivate love of health, a sense Of re-
sponsibility for the care Of our bodies.
DO not allow the machinery of the body
to clog, Put the stomach and liver In
proper condition. Take DR.. PiercSs
Golden Medical Discovery, TO be had at
most drug stores In tablet or liquid
form, tablets sixty-cents a vial. COM
posed Of native herbs. This puts the
stomach and liver in proper condition
You may be ploddlng along, no spring,
no elasticity, no vim. but as soon as you
have put the body into It's normal physi-
cal cOnditiOn-oiIed the machinery, as
IL were-you win find new vim, vigOr.
aud vitality within you. A little pep"
and we laugh and live. Try 1t now.
Send DR.. Pierce, Buffalo, n. Y. Ice. for
trial package. A little energy will save
the day. The prime necessity of life Is
health With spirit and energy you
have the power TO force yourself into
action. The Golden Medical Discovery
is the spring tonic which you need.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

About five that night. we reached the
ruined village of H, and I got my
first sight of the awful destruction
caused by German Kultur.
Marching down the main street we
came TO the heart of the village. and
took up quarters in shellproof cellars
(shellproof until hit by shelly. Shells
were constantly whistling over the viii
lage aud bursting in our rear. search
ing for our artillery.
These cellars were cold. damn and
smelly, and overrun with large rats
big black fellows. Most of the Tom
mics slept with their overcoats over
their faces. l did not In the middle
of the night l woke up In terror. The
cold. clammy feet of rat had passed
over my face. l Immediately smoth-
cred myself in my overcoat, hut could
not sleep for the rest of that night.
Next evening, we took over our sec
tor of the line. In single die we wend-
ed our way through zigzag com
munication trench six inches deep
with mud. This trench was called
whisky street" On our way up to
the front line an occasional fare of
bursting shfapnel would light up the
sky and we could hear the fragments
slapping the ground above us on our
right and left Then a Fritz would
traverse back and forth with his type
writer" or machine gun. The bullets
made sharp cracking noise overhead.
The boy in front of me named Prem
tice crumpled up without word. A
piece of shell had gone through his
shrapnel-proof helmet. felt sick and
weak.
In about thirty minutes we reached
the front line. 1t was dark as pitch.
Every now and then a German star
shell would pierce the blackness out
in front with its silvery light. l was
trembling all over. and felt very lonely
and afraid. All orders were given In
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
CHAPTER ~.


The next morning the draft was in
spected by our general. and we were
assigned to different companies. The
boys in the brigade had nicknamed
this general Old Pepper, and he GER
tainly earned the sobriquet. | was as
signed TO b company with another
American named Stewart.
For the next ten days we rested"
repairing roads for the Trenches, drill
ing, and digging bombing trenches.
One morning we were informed that
we were going up the line, and our
march began.
II took us three days to reach re-
serve biIlets-each days march bring
ing the sound of the guns nearer and
nearer. At night. way off in the dis
lance we could see their flashes, which
lighted up the sky with a red glare.
Against the horizon we could see
numerous observation balloons or "sau-
sages" as they are called.
On the afternoon of the third days
march / witnessed my first airplane
being shelled. A thrill ran through me
and gazed in awe. The airplane was
making wide circles in the air while
little puffs of white smoke were burst
ing all around ii. These puffs appeared
like tiny balls of cotton while after
each burst could be heard a dull
"plop." The sergeant of my platoon
informed us that 1t was a German air
plane and wondered how he could tell
from such distance because the plane
seemed like little black speck in the
sky. | expressed my doubt as to
whether ii was English. French or Ger.
man. With look Of contempt he fur
Their informed US that the allied anti
aircraft shells when exploding emitted
white smoke while the German shells
gave forth black smoke, and, as he ex-
pressed it. ut must be an Allemand be-
cause our pom-poms are Smelling, and
l know our batteries are not off their
bally nappers and are certainly not
strafeing our own planes, and another
piece of advice-don't chuck your
weight about until you've been up the
line and learnt something"
L lLnIUeuIdleIy Qull CHuCklnR my
weight about" from that time on.
Just before reaching reserve billets
we we're marching along, laughing, and
singing one of Tommy's trench ditties:
want to go home. 1 want 10 go home.
don't want to go to the trenches no
more
Where sausages and whizz-bangs are ga
lore.
Take me over the sea, Where the Ale
mand can't get at me,
oh. my, don't wa; to die.
| want to go home
when overhead came "swish" through
the air. rapidly followed by three 9th
ers. Then about two hundred yards to
our left in a large field, four columns
Of black earth and smoke rose into the
air, and the ground trembled from the
report-the explosion of four German
five-nine's, or "coalboxes." A sharp
whistle blast Immediately followed by
two short ones. rang out from the head
of our column. This was to take up
artillery formation" We divided into
small squads and went into the fields
on the right and left of the road. and
crouched on the ground. No other
shells followed this salvo. 1t was our
first baptism by shell fire. From the
waist up was all enthusiasm, but from
there down. everything was missing. !
thought I should die with fright
After awhile, we reformed into col
umns Of fours, and proceeded on our
way.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
Speaking of Lodqes.

"Skuse me, boss, but would you
mind 'vancin' me a dollar to jine de
lodge dis evening"
81 guess so, Uncle Jake. But seems
to me you're always joinin' lodges.
What's the name of this particular
lodge?"
please, sub, it am de Sublime De
tenders OBJ de Royal Purple Secret OBJ
de Ancient and Honorable Order OBJ de
Consultations of Epicurus."
Gee whizz--it only costs a dollar to
Join such mighty lodge as that?"
"Suttin'ly, boss. Dat amt muffin.
You oughtagsee what 1 could jine 70
n dollar and a half or two dollars
Florida Times Union.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
PLAN A WAR GARDEN;
FIGHT FOOD SHORTAGE
BY J. C. MOORE,
Horticultural Department Of UnlVer-
sity Of Wisconsin.

The work done now may largely de-
termine the success of the garden.
1t is time TO begin to make definite
plans for the garden work which is to
be done when gardening time comes.
Don't waste your time next summer
In gardening In competition with trees
and shade. II can't be done success
fully.
Hoeing, watering and fertilizing can
not make up fog lack of sunlight. Many
gardeners tried to make this substitu-
ton last year and found it wouldn't
work
Good garden tracts may be spoiled
by worthless. often self-planted. trees
or shrubs. Cut them out so your yege-
tables may not have to compete with
them for sunlight. food and water.
You will find. too, that your back yards
will look better without them.
If you can't remove these offenders,
or If buildings shade your garden for
the greater part of the day, begin at
once to make arrangements for a suit
able garden tract. ASK the aid Of the
local committee which is helping to get
gardeners and the garden tracts to-
gether.
What kind of house would car
penter build without a plan? How
would a garden which was planned.
row by row. while the planting was be-
ing done compare with one carefully
planned in advance of planting7
The professional gardener finds
plan necessary for best results. A def
mite plan Is of even more Importance
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

denly taken away. One would teach
school, another return to giving music
lessons. and so ON. One woman re-
manned silent. They asked, "And what
would you dor" She answered slowly,
Long aso learned the lesson of go-
ing without" Going without is not
popular in a nation Of free spenders
and high livers like the Americans.
"Going without Maybe an all-wise
Providence viii let this war go on I'M
til we learn to stop our wicked waste.
1t is one of our national sins.
However, I do not want TO dwell on
the subject of waste, for farmers as
class are not knowingly wasteful. We
do not spend lavishly on ourselves. We
do not desire luxuriousness In our
homes. We live simply. We work
hard. A garbage can with lots of choice
food dumped into 1t prOmiscuousiy
would be very rare sight on farm,
hut ! have seen goodly pieces OF wheat
bread floating on n farm swill pail. DO
You recall the fact that food we can
eat ourselves, wheat, oats, corn ana
the like. give us five times as much
nutrition when we eat 1t as 1t does
when we feed 1t to a pig and then eat
the pig? Right here is the fallacy OF
the well-intended but foolish advice
that every city family ought to keep
n dozen hens on their table scraps,
There should be no table scraps. save
perhaps very thin potato parings and
the onion skins. How much cackllng
will old Biddy do on that2
no. there is very little willful waste
on our farms, but there Is waste OF
farm management. II the aggregate,
farm management naata colossal
waste, as Professor Otis and other deep
students of the business OF farming
have shown us. For example: Wiscon-
sin has nearly 100000 cows. Prob
ably our cows average as well or bet
ter than the cows of any other state
in the Union. But about one-haH mil
lion of them are boarders. What a
grievous, what Il needless tax on our
farmers
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

whispers. The company we relieved
filed past us and disappeared into the
blackness of the communication trench
leading to the rear. AS they passed us.
they whispered, 1.-THE best o. luck
mates"
sat on the fire step of the trench
with the rest of the men. In each
traverse two of the older men had been
put on guard with their heads sticking
over the top, and with their eyes try
ing to pierce the blackness in mo
Mans Land" In this trench there
were only two ddgouts, and these were
used by Lewis and Vickers machine
gunners. so 1t was the fire step for
ours. Pretty soon II started 10 rain.
We put on our "macks," but they were
not much protection. The rain trickled
down our backs. and 1t was not long
before we were wet and cold. How I
passed that night ! will never know,
but without any unusual occurrence.
dawn arrived.
The word stand down" was passed
along the line. and the sentries got
down off the fire step. Pretty soon the
rum issue came along, and IL was a
Godsend. II warmed our chilled bodies
and put new life into US. Then from
the communication trenches came
dixies or iron pots. filed with steam
ing tea. which had two wooden stakes
through their handles. and were car
ried by two men. I filled my canteen
and drank the hot tea without taking
it from my lips. 1t was not long be-
fore I was asleep in the mud on the
fire step.
My ambition had been attained
was in a front-line trench on the west
ern front. and oh. how I wished were
back In Jersey City.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

Canada over he
name of the led
eral minister Of
a agriculture:
"City and Town
Can Help.
M u nicipal
G o u n c I ! S.
G h u r c h @ s,
Schools, and other
organizations both
OF tnen and wom-
en-. can render
National Service
by Directing all
available labor to
the land.
Farmers them
selves can ex-
change Dor.
Schoolboys can
assist.
"W ere you
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

aehahiIitatlon Of HoIN Land.

Immediate plans for the rehabillta-
tion Of the Holy Land, 70 fit 1t for the
home Of the Jews Of the world. are
now under consideration By the officers
If the New York Zionist organization.
A medical unit viii be dispatched to
the stricken land, loans viii be made
10 the cOlonists to rebuild and refit
their farms and vineyards, ana irriga-
ton and sanitation problems must be
solved. The 100000 fund now being
raised will be used for immediate pur-
poses. and It is believed the recon
gtructlon work will involve an expen-
dIture Of approximately Sl0o.OO0,OOo
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

TO church began. After marching about
five kilos, we turned off the road into
an open field. AT one end of this field
the chaplain was standing in a timber
We formed semicircIe around him
Overhead there was black speek cir
cling round and round in the sky. This
was a German Fokker. The chaplain
had book in his left hand-left eye
on the book-right eye ON the airplane.
We TOmmies We're lucky. we had no
books. so had both eyes on the afr
plane.
After church parade we were
marched back to our billets, and played
football all afternoon.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

pound ever since and give you my per-
mission to publish this letter. Miss
FLO KELLY, 476 So. 14th ST., Newark,
N. J.
The reason this famous root and herb
remedy, Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, was so successful in Miss
Kelly's case was because it went to the
root of her trouble, restored her to a
normal healthy condition and as sresuls
her nervousness disappeared.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
Everyone Using II Now.

The market for condensed milk has
greatly increaEed during the past few
years. In the early stages Of the de-
velopment Of the industry the chief
markets for the product were in the
South and West, where the POSSIBLE
ties Of dairying were limited by eco
nonic conditions and. IN the case Of
the South. by the difficulty Of keeping
and delivering whole milk. Now, how
ever. 10 Wisconsin and other Northern
states. one can find scarcely a grocery
store that does not AT all times Eayei
on IT'S shelves a supply Of condensed
milk. This is as true Of stores IN the
villages and hamlets as Of the city
stores
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
Didn't Seem Rlaht to Ter.

My sister and / have an auto we
drive and care for in many simple me-
chanical ways. One day we had IL
out in front of the house, giving it a
coat of polish, and were much amused
when n red-haired, curly-locked little
maid came bounding across the street
with a great show of concern, her eyes
bright and round with establishment.
"What are you doing?" she demanded
in frankly Mortified tone. working
on a ear and no man here PIX
change.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
SOIL Clubs Eormed.

Local soil Improvement clubs have
been organized in several sections Of
Wisconsin. Last year the members Of
one Of these clubs purchased a carload
Of acid phosphate with which TO i'm
prove Tx production Of their fields.
The farmers ia this same locality have
already ordered for this season several
carloads Of acid phosphate and com
mercial fertilizers.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
KIDNEY TROUBLE OFTEN
CAUSES SERIOUS BACKACRE

When your back aches. and your blad.
der and kidneys seem to be disordered,
go to your nearest drug store and get a
bottle of DR.. h;lmor's Swamp Root. It
is q physicians prescription for ailments
Of the kidneys and bladder.
II has stood the test oil years and has
reputation for quickly AID effectively
giving results in thousands of cases.
This preparation so very effective, has
been placed on sale everywhere. Get
bottle, medium or large size, at your near
est druggist
However, if you wish first to test this
preparation send ten cents to DIR. Kilmer
4 Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for a sample
bottle. When writing be sure and mem
ton this paper.-Ady.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
Cow Test Experiment Proves Biz
Success.

The first aIl-Guernsey cow testing as
sOciation 10 be organized in this coun-
try has been formed by Waukesha
county Guernsey breeders. 1t has in
fact, almost completed its first years
work. Last July second was formed
identlcally the same in character. and
there is now waiting list for the
third. The members Of these two as
sociations base their records strictly ON
production. and In other ways en-
deavor 10 be as progressive as possible.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

DOWN ana got so
weak l could hardly
stand, and hadhead-
aches every day. I
tried everything I
could think of and
was under a ply
sician's care for two
years. A girl friend
had used Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound and
she told me about
it. From the first
day | took itIbegan
to feel better and
now / am well and
able to do most any
X in d of work. I
have been recon-
mendinp the Com.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

ing-and we?' What are we doing?
Can we measure up? Are we worthy :?
In my hand | hold an envelope. on
its face is stamped. "Faod will help
win the war--don't waste It," Only
the farmers hold the high commission
of producing the nations food out ev-
cry man, woman and child, of our
lOO.OO000O fellow citizens can save
food Stamp II not only on our enve-
lopes but in our hearts. Food will help
win the war-don't waste IT," 1t is
not enough 10 preach the gospel of
the clean plate. we must practice il
three times a day.
A group of club women were telling
what they could do to increase their
incomes If their husbands were sud
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
Our National Flower.

Italy is mystified by the discovery
that peculiar yellow powder has been
strewn over parts of the invaded terri
tory by Hun aviators, which powder
the Italians wisely regard with great
suspicion. However, if anything Ill
comes of it. let Uncle Sam know, sug-
gests the Kansas City Star. He will
supply his airmen with gOlden-rod pol
len next summer, and let the Hun
population sneeze itself into submits
sion
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27
On Top and stln cllmhlnn.

Wisconsin leads the United States
In the number Of dairy cows, in the
value Of dairy products and in the
number Of cow-testing associations. In
1906 Wisconsin started its first associ-
alton. the movement growing until now
there are So associations with q mem
bership o. $500 farmers. Yet we have
room for many more.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-27

Spend the summer working on farm.
LET every man, woman and child
in the Dominion who has access to
land, no matter how small the plot.
make II produce food In 1917"
A great deal of casual help was fur
nished from this source last year, es-
peclally in harvest. Motor loads OF
men drove out from the towns in the
afternoons and evenings, and helped to
shock and to thresh. The harvest rip
ened rapidly in the west last year. A
farmer, single-handed on his quarter
section, or even half-section, would no
sooner finish cutting a 50-acre field OF
wheat than he would find his oats We're
ready 10 cut. He would leave his
wheat cut and lying on the ground,
thinking II would be many days before
he could return TO IT. Along towards
evening a gang of men from the nearby
town would drive along the sideroad
and see the sheaves lying on the
ground Forthwith they would park
their car by the roadside. climb
through the strands Of barb wire, pull
off coats, vests and collars. and go TO
work shocking Next morning the
weary farmer would look over at his
wheat field and exclaim, well. what
do Won know about thatf l guess the
fairies have been busy on my prem
ises."
Editors Note: This IS the fourth of
n series of short articles to appear In
this paper on the farm labor problem.
They were written expressly for Wis
consln farmers.