Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-07-05
HIS SUBURBAN DAY
By CEoRGiANNA HORN.

from Hyde Park. "He is very ad- mirable young man and looks great deal like me-but I tell you I am off him and his vine-clad suburban cot for life. Our occasional Sabbath pilgrim ages invariably fall on the days when it rains buckets or I want to sleep or train the canary bird, and I set out toward Lemuels roast beef and ice cream with a stern. and rock-bOund countenance. have no doubt that he and his wife are exactly as glad to see us and are demanding of high heaven why they were so unfortunate as to invite us on that particular Sunday. when they could as we'll have asked us for the Sunday after. Life is like that, you know.
 "Imogere and were out at Bosky Crest few Sundays ago and after dinner Bertha said she had treat for us. It seemed that her nephew Ar thur, also dinner guest, was star member of the home military company Point, was drilling them until he him. self was called. She said it was a wonderful sight to see all the mature residents of Bosky Crest drilling and that we were all going.
 "N'o, they did not drill at Bosky Crest, but at the next suburb, Sylvan Dells, and Lemuel would take us all over in the car, including their three children, only unfortunately he had to take over the Bosky Crest warriors. No, she explained haughtily, not the entire company in one little car, of course, but his contingent. So we would go over on the street car.
 "It was sticky day and when we got to the car line we were moist. Then it rained what the Bosky Crestites call lovely, growing rain, just enough to spoil your 5O-cent suit press and make your eyebrows drip. Reaching Sylvan Dells with many other pilgrims, we walked six blocks sizzling in the sun, arriving at last at large stretch of field.
 ""There we sat on the ground while Lemuel's youngest repeated in loud tone of voice every three minutes, with the calm regularity of an alarm clock, that he was thirsty and desired a drink. I have always thought parents short-sighted in respect to watering their offspring.
 q have observed that an infants raging thirst invariably increases in direct ratio to the length of the dis tance to water. What parents should do is to carry an affair like a rolled-up map which they can spread out before the gaze of their small children, reveal ing large hand painting of purling brook and gallon bottle of spring water-and the knowledge that plenty of fluid was at hand would instantly quell the juvenile craving for the un- attainable.
 "Just sitting was the best thing we did. With many moans and growls the restless populace from Bosky Crest sat and waited and glared at the gloomy residents of Sylvan Dells. No marchers appeared. Time went on. If my brothers youngest child had really received all the water he yelled for the coroner would have called 1t 8 justitiable drowning, am sure.
 "Other peoples children tramped on my tight shoes and Imogene grew hoarse begging me in stage whispers to keep still, for heavens sake! Two hours after we had grown to the spot there was wild yelp of joy and the military company appeared. This is where I learned to dislike heartily Bertha's West Point nephew. For he saw us where we sat, and what did he do but march his company on the dou- ble quick clear to the farthest end of that field and, by jinks, he kept them there, so we had to uncoil ourselves and trot over. never in my life saw such cruelty toward middle-aged and helpless men, who by good rights should have been stretched out on the parlor sofa snoring with the newspa- per over their faces.
 "Just as they faced one way nephew parked at them and they jumped to- ward the opposite direction as though they were shot. There was one dread full instant when they got tied up in a bowknot through trying to obey two orders at once and thought they were gone for good. When they had work ed like slaves for two more hours and gave no signs of ceasing they dashed by us and Imogene shrieked at nephew and inquired whether he were trying to kill those poor men on the spot or what-and, as this temporarily con- fused the military morale, they called it day and disbanded. and am con- vinced that many of them owe their lives to my brave wife. Yes, it be- gan to rain again right there, but that was good for the crops-and when we left l dared my brother and his wife to ask us again all summer. and they felt just the same way. So after this we will have our reunions downtown"
 "H'm!" said the Woodlawn man. "Catch me ever asking you out to din- nerl"
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