Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1918-05-04

By JANE PHELPS
*** 81 x 4 4
GEORGE Is PLEASED THAT MRS.
ROSS CALLED.
CHAPTER LyIx.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ross called, last night
saS Mr.. Hunting ion came with them y
remarked at the breakfast table.
THAT sol Well, Gerald Ross is a
charming woman. should like you to
be friends with her."
She is lot older than l."
~ know thatl 1t is one of the rea-
sGas | should like you 10 be with hen
daa't care so much for Bert, but Gerry
is all right"
nWhat is her name? You called her
Gerald. l thought that was a man I,
name"
"IIer name is Geraldine. We al
ways called her either Gerald or Ger
ry', before she was married. and most
of us still keep it up. That young Hum
tington | don't care so much about.
don I know what. ails young men, now
adays; they don t seem to have ar
idea in their heads beyond having .
good time. He's rather of an ass, but
has money enough to do as he phases. "
l was disappointed to hear George
criticize Claude Huntington before |
could tell him of the invita- ion to din
ner at the gay little restaurant in the
suburbs.
"He is going to give dinner out
at Craft s soon. He asked me if you and
would CO."
"Perhaps, if l have nothing else to
do" George replied carelessly, and |
said no more-pleased to have even o
tentative promise.
Warm Feelings Suppressed.
l do not think that anyone dream
ed l was not perfectly happy, at thi
time or that George was dissatisfied
with ME. But l felt thai had failed te
meet his expectations as he had outlin
cd them to me. He had married me not
because he loved me, but because ht
saw my Possibilities. He had preferred t.
mould country girl, than to take
girl who would be more inclined 20 as
sent herself own individuality. Tbl
feeling Of failure always made me very
unhappy. l knew perfectly well whe,
he said he hoped Mrs. Ross and woul1
be friends, that he said it not because
he thought the friendship would be o
pleasant one for me, but because he
thought it would be IMPROVING.
i wonder if one who has not had ,lh
same experience will, or could, under
stand how such an attitude affected
me. continually felt belittled, made
quate.
Then, too, loved my husband. Wher
married, l thought him veritablt
prince among men; he was so handsome
so courteous; and he certainly seemed to
love me. was a very happy bride-un-
til we ended our honeymoon and wen
to Morelands. From that time. it had
been a sort of struggle struggle to
please him, struggle to hang on to my
happiness, and a struggle to convince
myself that he still loved me when he
continually found me so lacking in al
hat he believed went to make up tn
attractive, successful woman of tn
world.
1t nettled me, too, that he always D'-
sisted upon having his own way-never
consulting me or my inclinations. Thii
from the veriest trifles to the mos
serious affairs. had pro ,ested, at frs
had tried to persuade him to ALLOW
me to do as I pleased, occasionally. But
no longer even objected. He alway
insisted upon his way, with polit'
coldness, perfunetory manner, thai
chilled and frightened me.
A Remembered Conversation
Once, when we had been married but
a few months, l Iried to demonstrate
with him about something. / begged
him to consider my feelings; l even
tried indignation; then loving gentle
ness, But never did he give in to me.
~ am disappointed in you!" he re-
marked, at one of these times. "You
are proving yourself foolish, tiresome
girl, instead of the kind | though. l
was marrying"
He didn t really love me, l concluded,
and wept bitterly over the thought. He
merely wanted housekeeper, wife
whom he could train to be digniifed and
uncHlOIlOuul.
l WAS changed, Often l wondered if
it were for the better or no. From a
loving girl, spontaneous and warmheart-
ed, / had become hard-reserved- and,
at times, utterly wretched. Yet, he con
sldered me BIT more capable, or, as
put it in my thoughts, he was not
QUITE as ashamed of me as at first.
fel, frozen. George was so correct-so
dignified that even before the SER
wants l was unnatural, stiff, lacking in
that poise which had begun to loom as
the one desirable thing in my existence
il I were to have my husband 5 re-
speet (if not his love).
Then came the Mrs. Sexton episode
to complete my self -abasement. And
while | no longer felt toward her as
| did at first, ''he thought still ranked
that she had been hired to teach me
things | should have known before
married.
MONDAY Helen Seeks Happiness)