The Washington herald., 1918-02-15

ter wear since last inauguration. Nah
wife jes' woan stay in de house en- ten
to huh bizness."
But, my dear man." said the court
to Carroll Brooks. does that give you
a license to try to kill herr"
Now listen, jedge," answered Car
roll; 'nawthin' on dis earth could kill
dat woman. Not eben de whole Ger
man army. Her haid is too hard"
1t was the same old, old trouble,
Carroll said. His wife was feminist.
Whatever that was to Carroll, he
didn't approve of it.
He insisted that his wife, Katherine,
stay in the house, cook his meals,
darn his socks and do what she prom
ised on the altar to do.
Katherine would. however, go to
the movies, attend lectures. gossip over
the back fence, go to church six
times a week and do all those little
things which the modern woman
thinks she must do whether or no.
One day Carroll got tired. He
actually spanked her. Then he used
stick on her ''haid." with the stick
getting the wortst of it,
He has promised never to do IT
again. II he does he must serve out
a stxty-day sentence.
Careful There Mamie.
II people would only look where
they were going, or else go where
they are looking. there would be
less trouble in this world.
This applies especially to Mamie
Jackson. Mamie Is always pointed
one way and headed for another
way, lust like a pin,
She was coming out of a lunch
room. Her head was turned. She
was looking at sporty-looking m
dividual of the masculine sex
She was considerably shocked
when she ran plump into Hyacinth
Brown.
Hyacinth's hat was knocked of.
Her coiffure was disarransed.
She smacked Mamie in the kiss
er. She got her in a corner and put
her foot, (No. 10). in her jaw.
Then the pair got out on the side
walk and fought it out.
Three cops ran up and tried to
separate them. They couldn't do it.
So there was nothing to do but
to carry the scrappers to the lock-
up.
The girls fought all the way
there.
They are both very sorry now. 1t
hurt them more to part with a ten
spot than it did to get into the
scrap.
The Woman OF II.
Two years ago Matt Jackson and
his wife Isetta separated.
Why they separated doesn't make
the least difference now as they stayed
apart just a year and a half and then
agreed to live together again.
Everything was running along
peacefully until Gertrude Wilson came
on to visit the Jacksons from some
where in Virginia"
The minute she hit the front door
Matt began to be uneasy.
Monday night as the three sat
around the kitchen stove Gertrude be-
gan to relate some of ner adventures,
which, by the way, were rather spicy.
When she got to a certain little IN
cident that happened in Petersburg,
Va. Matt got up and left the room
Gertrude then whispered in Isetta's
ear. OF all boneheaded stunts this was
the limit
Matt. He refused to say a word. But
II grieved her to learn that Matt
had made love 10 a certain woman
while they were separated.
She got after Matt about 1t. Matt
got after her with a cane
The court got behind Matt with
$40 fine.
The Reason Herman Hurried.
One night as Herman Beavers. son
of Madeline Beavers, came home, he
notified everybody that he would
not stay for supper.
Ma inquired the reason. Herman
sidestepped the question and flew
out
He did not get home until mid
night. Ma heard him coming in and
reprimanded him.
An hour later Katie Johnson Her
mans girl rushed around to the
Beavers home and demanded aud
ience with Herman.
Ma let her in and inquired the
reason for the nocturnal visit.
Herman had taken her watch, she
told Ma, who Immediately got hot
in the collar.
Herman was ordered downstairs.
He sheepishly admitted his guilt.
But because of a previous misun-
derstanding between Katie and her
prospective mother-in-law, she re-
fused to drop the case, even though
Ma got down on her Bonded knees.
But when the case came to trial.
Katie softened her heart.
She asked the court to parole
Herman. It was done.