The vidette. (Iuka, Tishomingo County, Miss.) 1912-1967, 1918-03-28
Mr.. SIMpEiAS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT mcsLAlR.

been promoted for valor during the
Civil War and had Gied bravely on the
field of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First he
reverenced and adored the memory of
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
20 TO wEr himself. = ID &C he observed
the martial bearing Rdd uncompromis-
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw.
in Imagination. the KHAKI clad lads OF
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
fight. maybe die. for liberty.
Mr.. Simpklns peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) we're where they could
see him. then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm UP for salute.
But his gouty shoulder twlnged, and he
groaned. lie couldn't even salute.
"Damn r. said Nh Simpkins, and
with his other hand fercely twliied his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the H.
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Re'e-
nue. officer only that FAY after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted TO just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject of taxes ever since he had dfscov-
cred lhat the more income a man has
the greater the percentage of II he
pays In taxes. He cop'd think Of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ricd and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pay only a
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filing In the information
that 1t asked for.
AS Mr. Simpkins income was $15,009
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each OF the successive smaller
classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first cf ss who must
pay taxes. Chat Is, .iassr lnen AMAZING
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay per cent. (under
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000, deducting 5000 for each of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpklns case this was 1912, which he
put down In the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law. married men pay an additional 2
per cent. on all over $2,000-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $3.50 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump In his income over $4,000
he had 10 pay 4 Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to Ills burden.
And on top of all this came an SEX
cess Profits" tax of per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, max
Ing $720 more.
The total. then, he must pay was four
teen hundred and thlrty.four dollars.
"Whewl" exclaimed Mr. SimpSins
angrily. "There's young Henry VIII
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay
cent. of taxes. guess this is his war
as well as miner
Thinking of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs Wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was lawyer. was aiding the Local
Draft Board with Its questionnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself,
'1hat makes a difference
He thought next of Judge Willough-
by whose income was about $1,000
"IIe only pays 500" commented Mr..
Simpkins, not quite SO angrily this
time and then thought struck him
and he sat up rigidly In his chair.
Judge Willoughbys son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when II was
Summarized with the loss Of two hun
dred soldiers.
"Judge Willoughby gave his son to
America" muttered Mr. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and put
his face In his hands
For long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still in that position. There was
no sound In the library except the
ticking of the tall clock and an occa-
sional trlll OF laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
of light on the carpet gradually with
drew Itself through the window. and
first twilight and then darkness settled
in about the quiet. white haired, some
times irascibie old man
Mr.. SimpkIns was thinking things
which he would never afterward spea K
of, he was thinking things that were
TOO sacred ever to be put into words
But some inkling Of his thoughts may
be found In his rejolnder to Mrs.
Slmpkins when that placid lady came
in and turned OF the lights. and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner.
Judge WiIloughbys only son was
worth as much as fourteen hundred
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't he7"
Mr.. SImpklns demanded Of her.
AS his wife, who was not unused to
his superficial irritations, watched him
In mild astonishment, Mr.. Simpkins
limped out to the hall and took his
old felt hat and silver-headed cane
from the hat rack. Letting himself out
into the foggy evening. he tapped his
way down to the corner and mailed his
income tax statement and check With
his own hands.
"Now God be thanked" said AIR.