Evening star., 1918-04-18
THE OTTER ANGLE
War Garxns.
BY KIRK nfILIrp-


everything. and the natural tine for
buzzing. there ought to be some kind
Of a maximum si1encer invented TO
defeat the genial old gent who insists
on buzzing about his war garden whil>
you are trying to annex the war news
en- route to the armchair each am
It's tedious enough trickling to work
these days without inheriting the
troubles OF Neighbor Goof, who In
serted his onion sets with the fuse
pointing toward China instead of
Washington. Easily.
These war gardens are the PATRIOTIC
patches which Secretary McAdoo re-
ferred to in North Carolina, but don't
bring 'em to work with you every day
The place for war plots Is in the back
yard, not in your neighbors' ears. Now
Dat winter has taken tho last encore
ct can begin to look for spring fresh
waseut that spring freshet last week
come.o darned fresh. Any caller who
eyen co2d stays four days and don't
sor ons tbute an intermission is due
Charles issa> those things Emperor
The food alo No-Count C1ernin.
According to the = a war garden. and
mIts those recipeY writer who COM
page, buckwheat Is on the woman's
two leading crops. I be one of our
sirup. II America didn't other one Is
wheat cakes there'd be0e ITS DUCK
fight for except a seat In n'1hing 70
car, and that's not nearly SOC street
your Christ,nas t,e- rom
Which reminds US that stack
buckwheat cakes Is no longer a stack
and that war has reduced their altitude
without diminishing their cost price
4. o. b. the plate-glass griddle. Wnile
yet parked their disastrous enects on
the American cuisine, when you speak
of "buckwheats and" at two-bits .
copy you are infringing on one OF the
inalienable rights Of the American citi-
xenry
Time was when you could attract a
flock of buckwheat cakes by simply
d. opping o thin dime in the player
piano, and in those good old days there
were always three in a set. A COM
plete set now consists Of two, and, in
stead of needing ladder to usurp the
roof-most bucky, you stand gooo
cLancs Of getting stoop-shouldered dis
covering his exact geographical loca-
to have happened to their ambition,
and, instetd of being self-rising.
they've voted democratic and become
very demuse-veryl
The stack Of buckwheats isn't the
only national Institution that has been
ing. Look at the architecture Of the
1915 model club sandwiches: Instead
Of being OF the regulation three.etory
type, they have started puolisnine {
look like the result Of q eongressional
investigation or the busting up OF a
II YOU can locate any bacon in one
they started putting an hour Of day,
| lisht in between the bread without
! eriiisting the services OF set Of bi'
I noculars we'll explain how the tele,
| phone girls get two syllables out o.
All these and frequent other viola.
tions of the grub .syndicats make !,
necessary for you to convert your laWf
| tennis rink into a coliseum for tht
preservation Of the memory Of n,s p9rt
| atrocities of the war is the anemie
| com mplexion Of a plate of beans wheI
| served according to the 1913 food rules
| Even the walters blush when they is
| sue a set Of pork and beans, and, like
the buckwheat cakes. two comprise q
! regulation set. Nobody ever accused
a walter of having conscience before
but who could help developing mora
enameled dinner dives that line eithe,
side of Pennsylvania avenue7 The til.
| ing is beautiful, but you never know
whether you are going into a lunch
Try to get a school of sardines in 8
tin aquarium at your food brokers' and
you'll begin to realize that all of the
| horrors Of war have not been copy.
righted in Europe. Its getting SO iti
! these days without sending a SHOCK
| regiment In frst to sample tho prices
Let's go.