davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Ouick-Witted Waiter.

A downtown city restaurant mas
made it's reputation upon Sne waiter
who has never yet been found want
ing to translate all orders into a
language of his own, and he and the
cook understand each other absolute
ly.
lone order of pea SOUP" one GUS
toner will say. :
Splash OF split peas" cries the
waiter.
Couple of doughnuts and cup of
coffee without cream another, will
order.
1.-TWO submarines and a mug OF
murk-no cow" orders the waiter.
IAN order of ham and eggs," says
a customer.
Roast two on a slice of squeal!
the waiter shouts into the tube.
"Beef stew and cup of tea for
me-" new arrival says.
"Bossy in bowl-boiled leaves on
the side!" sings the waiter.
"A dozen raw OYSTERS orders a
busy business man.
Twelve alive in the shell!' shouts
the waiter.
"Where's my eggs on toast" COM
planned man who has been waiting.
Rush the biddies on a raft!'
cries the waiter.
Il want a rump steak rare," orders
another man.
"Slab of moo-let him chew it,
the waiter calls.
Il want bowl of tomato SOUP -
orders one man, "a plate of beans,
bread and butter, piece of apple pie
and a glass of water"
The waiter seemed puzzled for an
instant, then he shouted in the tube
as follows:
Zone splash of Ted noise, platter
of Saturday nights, dough we'll done
with COW to cover, Eve with the lid
on and a chaser of Adams ale!'-
New York World.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
No Wonder Bill Smiled!

What are you smiling about,
Bill?" asked Sam, as the two friends
met in front of the postofice. Did
a rich uncle die and leave you few
millions? You look as happy as if
you had next winters coal in your
cellar. What's all the jubilatlon
about?"
q just got news that an invest
ment l made turned out fne!' en-
husiastically exclaimed Bill. I'm
las happy as a German who comes
across a square meal. Wouldn't you
be happy if an investment that you
made turned out so nicely?"
What investment was it?" asked
Sam. Cotton? Steel? Copper"
"Not exactly" replied Bill. did
you read today's paper?''
"Yes-but 1 didn't see anything in
it about investments, said Sam.
Didn't you read the war news?"
asked Bill. Didn't you read the
great news about the French and
Americans grilling up the German
lines? Didn't you read about the
great number of prisoners and guns
captured as well as territory recov-
cred, by the Franco-American fore
esq"
Sure" answered Sam. But
what's that got to do with your in
vestments?"
"It was those same American SOL
diers and thousands of others that l
invested in," proudly exclaimed Bill.
"I put my money in them, and I'm
getting my moneys worth, plus! Do
YOU blame me for being happy?"
What do you mean? How did
you invest in them?" asked Sam, a
trifle puzzled.
1--WE loaned the government mon
ey-by investing in War Savings
Stamps-to help get those men over
there and to supply them with the
equipment with which they are max
ing the Huns run in a direction ex-
actly opposite Paris,' beamed
Bill. isn't it wonderful to think
of what my money did? It's licking
the Huns as surely as if was on the
line with my rife and bayonet."
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Knew the Color All Right.

Say" said the landlord to the
tenant who was two months shy on
his rent, when am l going to see the
color of your money!"
Il can't exactly say when you are
going to see it, replied the party OF
the second part, but l can tell you
about it: The color just now is an
invisible green. New York Tri-
bune.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Selling Bones for Food in England

Over in England at the height of
the meat shortage and before the pop
ulace was put on rations, they sold
bones at the rate of five pounds for
one shilling. Policemen regulated
long lines of people patiently stand
ing out on the side walks, waiting,
not for their favorite matinee idol to
pass, but for chance to enter a food
shop and buy a samll quantity of
food. 1t takes about three minutes
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

for the shop keepers to dress their
windows over there, merely because
there are, perhaps, but a few cans OF
condensed milk and box or two OF
corned beef to be displayed.
Yet over here in America, bones,
hay, even fats and precious scraps OF
meat are going into the garbage pals!
Although in many cities there were
long lines of people waiting last win
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

ter for supplies of coal, there has as
yet been no pinched-faced mob plead
ing for food. True, there are fire.
quently long lines of people on the
street, but mostly they are buying
tickets to shows! in the busy streets
in towns and cities, shop keepers dis
play elaborate arrangements of all
kinds of delicacies in their show case
windows. They would scorn a dis
play" of corned beef and condensed
milk!
! The accompanying pictures are
from the Official Press Bureau in
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
CANDIDATES. CARDS.

Cards inserted in this column
charged for as follows: All county
Offices, excepting magistrate, cotton
weigher, and county commissioner,
$500; magistrate, cotton weigher
and county commissioner, each
$500; congress and T. S. senate,
$1,000; all State Offices $1,000. CasE
with card. Please don't ask us to
insert card unless check accompanies
same.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Groves Tasteless chill Tonic
destroys the malarial germs which are transmitted
to the blood by the Malaria Mosquito. Price 60c.
NOTICE TO DEMO OCRATIC VOTERS

In accordance with provision of
the Democratic rules (see section 12)
the committee for Bamberg county
will meet at the court house, Bam-
berg, S. c., on the 14th day of Aug
ust, 1918. 5 p. M, for the purpose
OF examining the club roll, at which
time any person may complain of
errors therein, and the committee
will hear complaints, and make such
corrections as directed by the rules
of the party. The committee will
also transact such other business as
may properly come before it at such
time and place.
J. F. CARTER,
County Chairman.
Aupust 18Th 1913
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

London. They were sent over to this
country for the express purpose OF
showing America what England was
actually facing. A country in such
straits not only needs help herself,
but cannot possibly be expected to
contribute to the support of United
States troops now on-the other side.
The food shortage is real. Save food
and Garry On
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Hind Horse.

Fare-Cabby, what are you stop
ping outside this public house for?
Cabby-Bless yer, sir, didn't stop.
Me 'orse stopped of is own haccord.
'E's the tenderest-' -'earted 'orse that
hever was. E knows i'm that thirsty
! kin 'ardly keep me mouth shut
Illustrated News.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
knowledge Dearly Bought.

Eddie" said mother sternly, "you
should not fight with that Jimson
boy"
'I know it, ma," said Eddie peni-
tently.
That's right. And when did you
find out?"
about a minute after | hit him. J"
kansas City Star.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Assisted the Artist.

Teacher-This drawing is excel
lent. Did you do it all yourself?
Small pupil-No'm. l held book
up to keep the sun from shining in
Johnny's eyes.-Baltimor Sun.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
FOR CONGRESS.

I hereby announce my candidacy
for reelection to Congress, pledging
myself to abide by the rules and
regulations of the Democratic party
and to support the nominees thereof.
JAMES F. BYRNES.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

l am a candidate for Congress from
the second congressional district COM
posing the counties of Saluda, Edge
field, Aiken, Barnwell, Bamberg,
Hampton, Jasper and Beaufort, sub
ject to the present and future rules
and laws of the Democratic party.
Platform-one hundred per cent.
American. G. L. TOOLE.
Aiken, S. G..
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

l hereby announce myself candi-
date for Cotton Weigher at Bamberg,
subject to the rules and regulations
of the Democratic primary, pledging
myself to support the nominees there
Of. CLARENCE B. FREE.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

In compliance with the request of
number of our citizens / have de-
cided to offer for election to the
House of Representative and hereby
pledge myself to abide the result of
the Democratic primary and to sup
port the nominee of the party.
JONI F. FOLK.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Will Be Fed Up With Fight.

The American soldiers are the best
fed fighting men in the world, ac-
cording to the war department diet
expert. But before the war is over
the German soldiers are going to be
the best fed-up fighting men in the
world.-Syracuse Herald.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Summer Resort Note.

whats in the mail from your hus-
band today?"
"A couple of needles. He wants
me to thread 'em and mail 'em back
to him. Got to do some sewing, he
says. Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

Being thoroughly familiar with the
affairs of the office and having had
active charge of the duties thereof
for the past several months, hereby
announce myself candidate for the
Office of Auditor and superintendent
of Education of Bamberg county, sub
ject to the rules of the Democratic
primary. w. D. ROWELL.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

I hereby offer to the people of
Bamberg County my services as
member of the House of Representa-
tives and announce my candidacy for
that Office under the rules of the
Democratic party.
J. CALDWELL GUILDS.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

I hereby announce myself candi-
date for Cotton Weigher at Bamberg,
subject to the rules and regulations
of the Democratic primary, pledging
myself to support the nominees there
of. D. K. SANDIFER.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

I hereby announce my candidacy
for election to Congress from the
second congressional district, pledg-
ing myself to abide by the rules and
regulations of the Democratic party,
and to support the nominees thereof.
T. G. CROFT.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
MAGISTRATE BANIBERG.

I hereby announce myself candi-
date for reelection to the Office of
magistrate at Bamberg, pledging my
self to abide by the rules of the DEM
ocratic party, and to support the NOM
inees thereof. E. DICKINSON.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
What Happens.

School Teacher-"Richard, do you
know what happens to boys who use
bad language when they are playing
marbles?"
Richard-"Shold think l do! They
grow up and play golf.' baltimore
News. ~
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
COTTON WEIGHER BAMBERG.

l hereby announce myself a candi-
date for the office of Cotton Weigher
at Bamberg in the primary; subject
to the rules and regulations of the
Democratic party. A. P. BEARD.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

Having been induced by a large
number of my friends, I hereby an
nounce myself a candidate for the
Office of Magistrate at Ehrhardt.
pledging myself to abide by the rules
and regulations of the Democratic
party and to support the nominees
thereof E. D. GRANT.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

I hereby announce my candidacy
for the House of Representatives, SUBJ
ject to the rules and regulations OF
the Democratic party, and promise to
support the nominees thereof.
w. L. RILEY.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
COUNTY COMMISSIONER.
Lower District.

I hereby announce myself a candi-
date for reelection to the office OF
county commissioner for the lower
district of Bamberg county, subject to
the rules and regulations of the DEM
cratic primary. o. L. COPELAND.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
MAGISTRATE At EHRHARDT.

hereby announce myself candi-
date for reelection to the Office Of
Magistrate at Ehrhardt, subject to
the rules and regulations of the DEM
ocratic party. j. H. klNARD.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

1 hereby announce myself candi-
date for Cotton Weigher at Bamberg,
pledging myself to abide by the re-
suit of the Democratic primary and
to support the nominees thereof
w. NJ. SANDIFER.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

All persons having claims against
the estate of VI. A. Kinard, deceased,
will file same, duly verified, with the
undersigned, and all persons indebt-
ed to said estate will make payment,
on or before the 21st day of August,
1918. G. w. RENTZ.
July 81. 1918. Administrator.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
Groves Tasteless chill Tonic

restores vitality and energy by purifying and en-
richins the blood You can soon feel its Strength
enine. Invieoratine Effect. Price 60c.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
AUDITOR AND SUPT. EDUCATION.

l hereby announce myself a can
didate for Auditor and Superinten-
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08

dent of Education, subject to the
rules of the Democratic primary, and
pledge myself to support the nomi-
nees thereof. F. 0. BRABHAM.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
COMING TO BAMBERG
The Associated Doctors
SPECIALISTS
Will Be At

SPECIALISTS
Will Be At
MAYFLOWER INN SATURDAY,
AUGUST 10th
FOR ONE DAY ONLY.
ReSultS-MarVelOuS Dem.
onstratiOn in Chronic Disease
Cases by Their New Sys-
tenn Treatment.
OFFER SERVICE FREE OF
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1918-08-08
NOTICE TO DEBTORS AND CRED
ITQRS

August 9Th, 1918.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02
LUDENDORFF SEES A GRAVE

General Ludendorff, in an authorized
interview with a correspondent of a
Berlin paper, says that France is
bleeding to death. she has dug her
own grave" he says and proceeds to
weep crocodile tears, perhaps possum
tears.
The tribute he paid to the bravery
of French soldiers is a deserving one:
the loss of French blood is appalling
in spite of their heroic bravery in
every conflict. But is Ludendorff
sure that the grave he sees is for
France? Doesn't he recall that no
French soldier goes down without
taking with him several Germans?
Doesn't he remember that for every
French soldier who must go through
life crippled, several Germans are
also crippled?
France has lost much blood but in
the losing she caused Germany to do
considerable bleeding and she will
cause it to do much more. Back of the
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

trict made at a meeting held April %,
1918, NOTICE is hereby given to the tax
payers of said district that special school
election will be held in the corridor OF the
first floor at the Court House on
FRIDAY, MAY 10th. 1918,
20 submit the following proposition -
To increase the annual rate OF taxation
sixty (60) cents on the $4,000 valuation
for school purposes (teachers and inciden-
dental expenses) over and above the
amount the board may levy under the
law.
The polls at said election will be open
from O'Clock a. In. until 6 O'Clock p. IN.
on said day.
1t was further ordered by the board that
o. W. Boutwell,, W. A. Shaw, A. Jeffries
and Simon Hedrick be appointed as Judges
and VI. T. Andrews, f. Forrest Thomas,
W. n. Guitar and VI. L. Lipscomb as
clerks of said election.
Done by order of the Board Of Directors
this 9th day Of April, 1918.
JNO. l.. HENRY,
Sec'y Board Of Directors.
Note The levy submitted is not an in
crease over that Of last year but OF the
amount that may be levied by the board
without a vote.
JNO. l.. HENRY,
(1SS- 1907 Secretary.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

with the provisions Of said deed of trr,.
and at the request Of said legal holder y,
said note, notice is hereby given thar ,Sa nj
undersigned, Boone County Trust CO..,
pGny, trustee, will proceed to sell ~.
above described real estate to the hipbsss
bidder for cash In hlnd at tie San,S
front door Of the Court House In the Ci,n
Of Columbia. Boone County, Missouri. AZ
public yendue on ~
TUESDAY, MAY 2lst 1918
between The hours OF nine O'Clock in ,ho
forenoon and five o'clock in the af,ss
noon of said day, to satisfy said note in
terest on said note, and The cost Of ex.
ecuting this trusr.
Boone County Trust Company, Trustee
1SS-209) yice-P -Presiiep,
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

ireland ought to have home rule
And If her people could agree, she
would have it now" Thus says the
Post-Dispatch. The people of ireland,
Catholics and Protestants, excepting
a pitifully small minority in Ulster,
have agreed. To permit this handful
in Ulster to defeat the will of the
majority is as though two wards in
South St Louis were permitted to
keep the city from municipal self
government
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

French blood, is British, American
and Italian blood and if necessary it
will flow as freely as the French blood.
The blood of the allies is being given
in the cause of democracy.
For what is the German blood be-
ing given? For a military caste and
because the Kaiser wishes to rule the
world with his autocratic hand.
Look again, General Ludendorff
The grave is being dug for Prussian
militarism, not for France.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

County Of Boone and State Of Missouri, to-
wit: Lots Number Four "a, Five ~,
Six (6), Seven %, Eight (s), Ten t1Ol,
Twelve Q2), Fourteen 14) and sixteen
I6) In Ballenger's Addition to the said
City OF Columbia. Boone County, Mis-
souri. which said deed Of trust or con-
veyance was made in trust to secure the
payment of a certain promissory note In
WHEREAS, default has been made In
the payment Of said note, and also the in.
terest thereon, and said note and deed OF
trust remains Unpaid: and
WHEREAS, the undersigned trustee has
been requested by the legal holder Of
said note TO exercise the power OF sale
in II vested by said deed Of trust;
NOW, THEREFORE, In accordance
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02
Medical School to Have Open House

The School of Medicine of the Uni
versity will hold open house for visit
ing high school students and towns
people from s to 10 o'clock Saturday
morning. All of the laboratories ex-
cept that of anatomy will be open to
inspection and members of the Junior
and senior classes will answer any
questions. One of the features will
be food demonstration.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02
AN EXCELLENT PLAN


Under the agreement entered into
between the Powers and China, fol-
lowing the Boxer uprising in 1900.
says ]. B. Powell, formerly of the
University OF Missouri, in Millards
Review, the United States Government
was permitted to keep an expidition-
airy force of about two thousand men
in China This force is stationed
at Tientsin and Peking, about fifteen
hundred men being stationed at the
former place and the rest stationed as
a Legation guard in Peking. 1t has
now been proposed to the American
Government at Washington that the
regular army troops stationed at
Tientsin be recalled to America for
service in France and their places
taken by a contingent of the same
number of men who are now in train
ing in America at the various canton
ments under the provisions of the. Sc
lective draft The idea originated
with Major Arthur Bassett, judge ad-
vocate of the army contingent at
Tientsin. and formerly L. S. District
Attorney in China. MissCurians will
have special interest in the proposition
because of their interest in Major
Bassett, who went to China from Paris,
this state. Under the plan suggested
by Major Bassett, the contingent OF
regular army troops now in China
should be returned to America and
sent to France as the men desire, and
in their places the United States
Government should send out fifteen
hundred men, specially selected |
from the standpoint of education and
training, who would be available upon |
their retirement from service in China |
to engage in trade or over activities
in China and the Far East. Major |
Bassett would select the new men |
for service in China largely from the |
great group of college graduates and |
students who have been drafted for |
service in France He would bring |
these men to China and, ip addition
to their regular army drill, he would |
have them instructed in the Chinese |
language and in the customs, history /
and traditions of the country; and at !
stated intervals he would have them
make trips into all parts of China for
study and investigation. In short,
these fifteen hundred men would re-
ceiye a three years college course on
China, so that upon their retirement
from the service they would be at
liberty to engage in trade, missionary.
educational or any other activity they
desired in the Far East, or if they
desired to return home they would
possess information regarding China
that would be of the highest value to
China. The plan has been approved
by the American Chamber of Com
merce and other organizations in
China and has been commended to the
State and War Departments at Wash
ington.
1t is also certain that this plan OF
a Citizens Student Army in China !
would be welcomed by China, for it
would be of the greatest possible as
sistance in bringing about a better
tween East and West-something very
necessary if the future peace of the
world is to be maintained
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02
FAyORS ANTI.I. W. W. MEASURE
Senate Judiciary Committee Orders
Approved Report on Them.

By Associated Press.
WASHINGTON, May 2.-Legislatiop
against the Industrial Workers of the
World and similar organizations adyo-
eating force and violence to bring
about governmental, social and in
dustrial changes was approved to-
day by the Senate Judiciary Commit
tee. Measures featuring the anti-I
W. W. bill of Senator King of Utah and
Senator Walsh of Montana were
ordered favOrably reported.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02
NOTICE OF TRUSTEES SALE UNDER
DEED OF TRUST

WHEREAS, George w. vanlandingham
and Mary NJ. Vanlandingham, his wife, by
their certain deed of trust, dated the 18th
day of May, 1915, and recorded in the Of
fee of the Recorder OF Deeds of Boone
County, Missouri, In Deed Of Trust Book
I2I, at page 90, conveyed to the undersign-
ed, Boone County Trust Company, cor
pOration organized under the laws Of the
State Of Missouri, as trustee, all of their
right, title and interest in and 10 the fol-
lowing described real estate, lying, being
and situate in the City Of Columbia, in the
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

Columbia is indebted to Charles B.
Miller, Good Citizen, for many things.
Just now the Indebtedness for suggest
ing S. A. Davis for two talks to Co.
lumbia business men.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

Someone has suggested that sauer-
kraut be called Liberty cabbage"
The kaiser by any other name would
be a Prussian still.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

Sororities that have pledged to eat
no wheat until the present distressing
situation is relieved, have the right
idea of patriotism.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-05-02

Birdseed has advanced in price.
Will the canaries be willing to accept
substitutes and eat rices.