The Washington herald., 1918-05-27

kindergarten class in which the art
of letting q girl down gently and
gradually from the soft snap Of be-
ing sweetheart to the strenuous Job
OF being q wife should be taught.
Most men do this trick by simply
kicking the props out from under
courtship. without a word OF warning.
and letting the bride drop with q
dull, cold thud on the actualities OF
life. with nothing to break the fall,
or soften the jolt. "a
No sane person can 60 through the
world with a hectic flush and a hun
bred and four temperature asking
another creature daily, loose ducky
daddle Is oo?" but 1t is worth while
to teach men that affection Is as
necessary TO a woman as sunshine to
life, and that II q husband wants to
make existence worth while to his
wife, and save himself money, and
being sailed down in brine. he should
hand out daily a few compliments
and love speeches that sound as II
he meant them
Also husbands should be taught
that when they cease to make love
to their wives 1t il a cue for other
men to begin to do so. Especially
when friend wife Is young and easy
on the eyes.
Another thing which the would be
bridegroom should learn IL the valu-
able information that matrimony
works no miracles In character. You
can't lead a giddy butterfly up to the
altar and escort q practical cook and
wash woman away from II. An
idiot before marriage IL going to be
fool afterwards. A wedding cere-
mony does not turn q sharp temper
ed maiden into O Patient GriEelda.
IL men were only taught these facts
IL would save many q man thirty or
forty years Of acute misery and Bit
ter regrets. or the price of q resi-
dence In Reno.
There should also be a commercial
department in which the men con-
templatlng matrimony should be ia
mlliarized with the fact that while a
courtship can be conducted on hot
air. It takes cash to run a family.
In this department the pupils should
he taught to chant a morning hymn
in which they would repeat butchers
bills and grocery bills. ice bills and
milk bills. millinery bills and doctor
bills" and all the other bills and ills
TO which a married man Is subject
Then. at least a fellow would know
what he was going up against in
matrimony. and wouldn't be so
amazed when he finds out that II
takes ten times as much for two to
live on as 1t does one.
In the arts department would-be
husbands should also have 1t i'm
pressed upon them that II flattery is
useful in courtship 1t is a necessity
in marriage. 1t is incomprehensible
but true that a woman's idea of
perfect husband is a man who will
tell her that she looks beautiful in a
mother hubbard and curl papers. II
he will do that she will let him beat
her and starve her and still think
herself blessed among wives.
When you come to the range OF ac-
complishments that should be taught
in a school for husbands. the field is
unlimited. The most important is to
develop a talent for collecting gossip.
a faculty in which men are naturally
sadly deficient. Then when a man
comes home at night and his weary
wife. who has been shut in the house
all WIN tEt ASKS MIN
what he has heard, he won't growl
out, nothing" and spend the evening
doing a lfe-like imitation Of a store
dummy. Instead he will be a walking
encyclopaedia of spicy news. and do
nestle life will take on a new charm.
Undoubtedly. a conversational hus-
! band will be a startling novelty. but
one that will appeal strongly to
women.
AS for a husband who had been in
structed in the arts of ladies' maid.
and who could hook up a dress with
out profanity or tearing the lace. and
who could talk intelligentIy about
clothes-but why sigh for perfection
in this imperfect world. Such a hus-
band would be too good for any mere
mortal woman TO even hope to be
blessed with
And yet a school for husbands
might turn out these paragons. Why
not organize one?
Copyright. IoIs.l