The Washington herald., 1918-09-02

New York, Sept. las Samuel
Pepys would record in his diary: I'm
pretty betimes and did counterfeit
a letter to Mr.. Simpson, the bar
rister. which was oddly writ as from
q thief who stole his cigarette box.
q hneiy done hoax. Troubled a lit
tie In mind that my wife. poor
wretch, Should continue her strange
ness to me over the business of my
table manners.
Came news today that Sir Walter
Chalaire, the scrivener, hath been
hit by a bullet In France, but will
recover. Great news this day that
Lord Woodrow will reduce nearly
all to the soldiery and loud blowing
Of whistles and ringing of bells.
Through the town by coach and to
Times Square and with Barney Ber-
nard. the play actor, set out for an
inne hard by and there read some
letters from Vernon Castle. lately
killed hying. to his wife of fine sem
timent and brave wording, A great
love was theirs and yet the gossip
mongers were forever peddling false
tales
To luncheon at the Lion Dor, q
nne repast Of cake and a beaker of
WINE and a cheese pasty. and saw
there a flaming red-haired beauty
VINO wore sandals and strange beads
ana Mexican sombrero and blew
smoke through her nostrils, very en-
trancing. Thence to the infrmary
to see Mr.. Hodgxins. the doctors
giving him over.
In the afternoon to the pier and
saw Floyd Gibbons. the war CORES
pondent. newly come from France
and he in fine spirits. albeit q bullet
clipped out an eye and splintered
an arm and he brings good report
Of the fine fighting spirit of the
Americans and told how one Ala
bama man shot down a German fly
Ing machine with his rife.
In the evening to see the new Hip
podrome show. Everything" a most
excellent production Of Hodge Podge
and De Wolf Hopper appeared as an
elephant trainer and the animals
stepped over his body and a divert
Ing scene was the Country Circus"
fullfedged one. OF the one-ring
variety. which arrives in town by
wagon. pitches its tent and gives
a complete performance. Home late
and so to bed.
New York's honesty was Illus
trated one day last week A flee
ing thief threw away $500 on the
pavements OF lower Broadway
among the noon day crowds. Hun
dreds picked up bills of varying
denominations. Every cent of the
money was returned to the bank
within an hour.
Up at the Bronx ZOO the other
day two Englishmen were going
through the archaeological depart
ment. A certain bird was perched
high in one of the cages.
It's either a 'en or a howl" said
one with fnality.
En- or howl be blowed; that
birds a beagle. the hemblem OF
this ere bloody. bloomin' country!"
CALCULATED the other.
A tell man with a hawk nose and
dreamy blue eyes and short,
slight man with brown hair walked
into the Della Robbia room of the
Vanderbilt the other evening for
dinner.
As is the custom. small portions
OF butter. scant bits of sugar, very
thin slices OF bread were served
at all of which the two men smiled
in pleased way.
Now them guys" said Gus. the
bus. lis what l calls regular Amer
lean guys. Not a cheep over the
thin rations. They're patriotic"
You are what might be called a
simp. replied the stern headwaiter
Don't you know that was Secre-
tary Baker, who's running this war
and Secretary McAdoo, who's saw
ing all the money to help him run
1t. Study your algebra kid. study
your algebra-you'll be a bus boy
all your life unless some guest
kills you"