The weekly Alaska citizen., 1918-09-02

One of his little girls informed him at the dinner table that she didn't want any "McDermotts" Ali ter each one had guessed at her meaning she pointed at dish of turnips and said "them' A few days later she was being Jollied by her mother for eating all the cab bage on her plate. "Yeth," she lisped, q put thyrup (syrup) on it so I'd like it."
 MORE HASTE That old idiom, "A ALWAYS poor excuse is bet LESS SPEED ter than no excuse at all," was we'll eX- emplified when the Tanana arrived from Fort Gibbon. Now, upon calm reflection. isn't it wonderful how the lamest kind of an excuse will serve a fellow at times Bob Sommers was returning home to Fairbanks in Roy Lund's launch from Fort Gib- bon, to which place the former AL aska Road commission superintendent had gone to take the physical ex- animation for a commission in the United States engineering corps. The launch overlook the Panama, pushing two big barges heavily load ed with freight, and, of course, buck ing the swift Panama current. The popular steamer, compared to her usual gait, was making slow pro- gress, the launch passing her as though she were standing still But to the surprise of everybody, and the astonishment of Lund himself who had been speeding up his launch to beat the band, if Bob didn't go aboard the Tanana at Tolovana and buy ticket to Fairbanks! Why, Lund's launch was running circles around the Tanana with her two barges, and when Bob's attention was called to that fact by some of his joshig fellow passengers, who asked him why he changed boats, being in hurry to get back to Fairbanks, he answered that the req son was because the launch was a "slow boat"-and there was the launch walking away! Now, whad- dy' know about that? And the only time Bob caught sight of the "slow boat" after that was when the "slow boat" tied up for the night, and the "slow boat" even after stopping at Nenana a day and half, got here hours and hours ahead of the steam CT. Of ocruse, always there's reason" The fact of a popular young Fairbanks lady being aboard, however, was only mere coinci- dence. but-anyway, Bob didn't wor- ny much about slow boats the rest of the trip.
 SEQUEL AS serials don't go OF THE in Town Gossip and GREEN HAT. Stories," this is only a sequel. Last Sun- |'day we told how local haberdasher, while dining at cafe, unaware of any suspicious person lurking around had his handsome gren hat carried away. We'll, without calling on Fire Chief and City Magistrate Buckley or Chief Wiseman, or the district attorneys office, our merchant con- stituted himself Sherlock Holmes to find the man who took his hat. And he was finally rewarded. He spotted his man wearing the hat, beating it with long brisk strides down First avenue. Determined to recover his hat, the owner was con- pelled to speed up. When overtaken and caught with the goods right on him, the man, who was dressed like a business man, seemed much sur prised, and when questioned claimed to be banker, and gave as refer ence younger brother, formerly Fairbanksan, and now with a ma chine gun battery, and whose fres- ent address, for while, is Some where in France. The explanations being satisfactory and the hat re- turned in perfect condition, the man who put the banks in Fairbanks was allowed to go.
 HEB! A few days ago sev- HAW! eral "skinners" hap HEB! pened to meet at a
 local livery stable