davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
FORGED ENJOYMENT
erybody's Magazine.

From Everybody's Magazine.
 southern man tells of a colorod mother, living in a country district of Georgia who was induced by her l0-year- old child to take him to the circus in a town near their home.
 She borrowed a wagon and a mule and set out with her offspring for the circus. The roads were bad-it had rained-and the younghter was frightfully fidgety. Finally the tired mother exclaimed:
 See heah, you Erasmus, To set still! I've druv yo 10 miles to enjoy dis circus an you shall enj'y it, ef I has to pull ebery hair out CT yo' haid.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
LIKE M,LuKE SAYS

It is different with a city boy. But country boy earns his first dollar long before he gets his first dollar.
 Some men seem to wear flock of chin whiskers for the purpose of advertising the fact that they chew tobacco
 An unmarried daughter in the home requires so much special scenery thai her mother often has to be content With the finery that daughter has cast or.
 Every married man believes that II he didn't wear his shoes down town his wife would lend them to one of the neigh bors. The neighhors borrow almost ev- erything else in the house.
 The reason why man hates to hear you tell him how brainy he is is because a Senegambian would rather eat dish of shredded hay than mess of pork chops.
 One thing we like about dogs is that they do mot have to be pedigreed to Dc faithful A plain 10-cent dog is often more loyal to raggedy boy than $l00o dog is to well-groomed millionaire.
 One reason why the first row ia a movie theatre is never filled with men IS because you cant make a date with a fillum photo of chicken
 A man may he too tired to go to church on Sunday. But he Isn't too tired to SPShN ehS tHs Ws'SHAii5 eAit oN~i iiea Nt' 'tAc his auto.
 There are all kinds of pests in the world. including the man who imagines that he will be considered dull if he quits talking.
 Men overestimate their popularity with the women. The truth of the matter IS that for every woman who is trying to get man. there are dozens who are try ing to get away from men.
 A small girl has more sense than a small boy When there is company for dinner a small girl will act as though they had napkins at every meal. Eut you can't make small boy act that way.
 The world never wastes any time re- gretting the death of the man who has lived only for himself.
 The man who is always going to do something wonders why the people who do things always manage to succeed.
 When man acts polite to woman he meets on the street. the betting Is that she isn't his wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

From "A Traveller in Wartime" by
 Winston Churchill in the February
 Scribner.
 57 N spite of the fact that our newspa- II pers at home had made me familiar 4 with these airplane raids, as l sat there. amidst those comfortable sur roundings, the thing seemed absoiuteN ,ncedible. TO fly 15O miles across the channel and southern England. bomb London. and fly back again by midight! We were going to be bombed! The anti aircraft guns were already searching tpe sky for the invaders It is sinister, ana vet you are seized by an overwhelming curiosity that draws you, first to. pull and then to rush out into the dark street both proceedings in the worst possipie form.
 The little street was deserted, bus m Pau Mall the dark forms of busses couiu be made out scurrying for shelter, one wondered where? Above the roar "A Loneond the pop. pop! pop! or the ae- lending guns could be heard now aii''os' continuously. followed by the shriehs and means of shrapnel shells as ties na ssed close overhead. They sounosu like giant rockets, and even as rochets sone of them broke into a cascade or sparl,s. Star shells they are caiiea' bursting, it seemed. among the iihh'h- ta,le stars themselves that burned ser ane,v on. And there were other stars like November meteors hurrying across space -tha lights of the British planes scour- ing the heavens for their relentless ene- mics. Everywhere the restless white rays of the searchlights pierced the darkness seeking, but seeking in vain. Not sign of the intruders was to be seen. I was induced to return to the sit- ting-roon
 But what are they shooting att" l asked.
 Listen said one of the officers. There came a lull in the firing and then a faint. droning noise like the humming of insects on a still summer day. Its all they have to shoot at, that noise. But their own planes?" I objected. "The Gotha has two engines, 1t has a slightly different note. when you get used to it. You'd better step out of that Win dow It's against the law to show light
 and if a bomb falls in the street you'd pe
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

TN the letters of James Whitcomb
 Riley, in Harper's Magazine for q February, is told for the first time the true story of the poets early begin nirgs as a sign painter. He had tried more serious employments, but finally entered into partnership with a certain Mechanism.
 Riley and Mechanism travelled through many Hoosier towns with much theatrical display. On entering town, said Riley, Mechanism went first to the livery stable and with unfailing instinct picked out the best horses 1t was not long before we were in the good graces of the livery man and had as our reward the best team in the bals free of charge for the afternoon. Thus set up, two young sign painters made a dashing entrance before the public. of the leading merchants on every barn, fence and boulder on each of the roads leading into town, with the very eloquent prophecy, These signs will stand as long as the fence or barn or stone remains. Human nature could i'll withstand such an attractive proposition even at the big price named by the members of the new advertising agency. To any close listed objector they exclaimed: Why, you. spend that much each year on newspaper ad- vertisng, and, what Is more, your news paper allows your competitor to ad- vertise in the very next column in more conspicuous place. He can't Go that on the road, because you'll have every fence and barn, and if you don't take the contract he will. you bet" And yet, despite their cleverness, the young men on occasion met discouragements From the town of Peru, Riley wrote, early in August 1872:
 "sDear Bro: We have been here one week tomorrow night We came from K okomo here, after doing flourishing business there expecting to do equally as we'll here, but alas! We Will fail to amass the handsome little fortune be- oueathed us by Kokomo. l have even
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

versary could be brought face to face for a little oratory. The audience would by no means consist chiefly of women. There would be many awe struck males in the throng. Whatever trepidation they might feel would be overcome by the lust of combat. Mrs. Catt would give good account of her sek and so would Mrs. Wadsworth. It would be tilt worth going miles to see and hear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
. Camouflage Don't Go

When fellow hasn't visited his old home place for 90 years and then goes back he is liable to find both things 70 joy and things to sorrow over," said Robert Ewing My recent visit to my old Florida stamping ground made me realize one thing, and that while fellow may fool himself by pretending that he isn't getting any older, he can't camou- flage the old residenters who knew him in his childhood and youth. Florida is a land of flowers, and the St. Johns is as beautiful as ever. It's all right far a rest, but give me busy Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
Army Bands Labor
 at a Disadvantage
# # x

M WRITER in the Musical Courier GA calls attention to some of the unfavorable conditions under which American army bands labor. A confer ence of song leaders in the army had been called to consider all phases of musical service, but for some reason or other the meeting was postponed indefinitely.
 While there are many excellent bands in the army, it is said that the majority of them are not up to stan dard. It was not to be expected that in mobilizing vast military force hurriedly band music would receive the attention that has always been the rule in the regular establishment; but with average talent there is no reason why all bands having daily re- hearsals should not achieve satisfac- tory results in the course of time, pro- vided capable leader is found.
 The Musical Courier says the chief trouble is the lack of suitable rehear- sal rooms in the training camps. While this matter of music is not of first im- portance compared with the work of equipping and disciplining our fight ing men, yet it is important, and whatever is needed to improve the bands should be promptly attended to.
 No army goes to the front without martial music and the better the music the more inspiring it will be to the rank and file. Even General Pershing, with his manifold and tre- mendous responsibilities, has re- marked that American bands are not up to those of the French army. It is now hoped that he will be able to take some step to remedy any deficiency. Musical superviors of the first class have been needed all along to look after the bands in each camp. With such supervisors responsible to the government there would be decided improvement in the music and that speedily.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
INTERIOR DECORATIONS

From the Illustrated World.
 An Irish soldier coming out of ether in the hospital ward after an operation exclaimed audibly: Thank God. That IS over!
 Don't be so sure" said the man in the next cot they left a sponge in me and had to cut me open again.. And the patient on the other side said: ny, they had to open me. too, to find one of their instruments.'
 Just then the surgeon who had operated on the Irishman stuck his head in the door and yelled: "lIas anybody seen my hat?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
LITTLE GIFFEN

By Francis Orray Tichnor. Out of the focal and foremost fire-- Out of the hospital walls as dire Smitten of grapeshot and gangrene-- Eighteenth battle, and he sixteen Specter, such as you seldom see. Little Giffen of Tennessee sTake him. and welcome!" the surgeon
 said;
 Not the doctor can help the dead!' So we took him and brought him where The balm was sweet in our summer air: And we laid him down on wholesome
 bed:
 Utter Lazarus, heel to head! And We watched the war with abated
 breath,
 Skeleton boy against skeleton death! Months of torture, how many such! Weary weeks of the stick and crutch-- And still a glint in the steel-blue eye Told of a spirit that wouldn't die. And didn't! Nay! more. in death's de-
 spite
 The cripple skeleton learned to write Dear Mother.' at first of course, and
 then Dear captain. inauiring about the men. Captains answer: "Of eighty and five. Giffen and I are left alive'' Johnston pressed at the front,'' they
 say Little Giffen was up and away. tear. his first. as he hadeT good-by. Dlmmed the glint of his steel-blue eye. "I'1l write. if sparedl" There was news
 of fight.
 But none of Giffen, He did not writc! sometimes fancy that were I King Of the courtly knights of Arthur's ring With the voice of the minstrel in mine
 ear & And the tender legend that trembles
 here, I'd give the best on his pended knee The whitest soul of my chivalry For Little Giffen of Tennessese
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
Defiance Hurled
 at Mrs. Catt

MM RS. CARRIE CHAPMAN GAIT GV4 has been challenged to debate the national suffrage amendment by Mrs. James w. Wadsworth, Jr., pres ident of the National Association Op- posed to Woman Suffrage. Mrs. Catt is called on to lift up the gauntlet thrown down by the redoubtable lead CT of the "antis," or confess that the methods, platform and principles of the movement cannot succeed if sub 1nitted in any fair way to the sound Judgment of the American people,"
 That sounds ominous. But whether or not Mrs! Catt, who is something of a battler herself. enters the forensic arena with Mrs. Wordsworth, she will most assuredly not confess the weak ness, or alleged weakness, of the suf- frage cause. From the suffrage point of view that is a matter not open to debate.
 However, most interesting situa- tion would be created if the suffrage leader and her most prominent ad-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
Spring Weather and
 the Garden Campaign

7T HE spring-like weather with
 4 which this section is being fav- ored, should give fresh impetus to the war garden campaign. Next to the need of large food crops, increased garden production is urged by the United States department of agricul- ture.
 Unless this country can help feed the allies, and help bountifully, it will fail miserably Sm it's obligation to hu- manity, for food is as necessary in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
COLD AND DISTANT

"so you've quarreled with your fiancee?"
 "Yes. I fear it's all over"
 Don't give up so easily. Call her on the telephone
 "Its no use. She used to know who was the moment said Hello Now she positively refuses to recognize my voice."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

seemed friendly enough when first be- gan to call"
 "why-er-I think I can explain it." answered Miss Teacher.
 Father is naturally courteous and suppose he thought you would be drafted or something before you and I discov- cred that we were soul mates"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
MhoIcromc preachers

As I sat at the table at the dinner given by the Kiwanis club 10 the Ro- tarians and looked into the faces ot I'r. Edmonds and pr. Barnwell and heard their snappy talks" said J. w. Donneily, T was sensible of the fact that Bir- mingham was fortunate in having two such preachers to be leaders. The Ro7 tarians prize Dr. Edmonds most high'y' and I am sure that the Kiwanisites are proud of Dr. Barnwell. Both are whole some influence in the cluos III which they hold membership
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
PROVINCIAL IDEAS

eve have all kinds of palaces in this country"
 "ouite true.
 "There are tonsorial palaces, shoe shining palaces, wienerwurst palaces and scores of others
 "rve noticed that
 "A certain type of business man seems to think that all that is necessary to create palace is to install few mir TOTS and put in tiled floor"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
TO AN ExUBERANT cUss

Slam me on the back,
 Poke me in the ribs, Call me boob" "old top, Or. worse still, 'your nibs;'' Be facetious, friend,
 If that is your way; Though you act the fool, I will yet be gay. If you think it smart
 To mistreat me so, l will not respond
 With harsh word or blow, But if it befalls
 That your pleasantly Takes me off my guard
 And I chance to see Red, forgive me then.
 Let the deed go by; Mine won't be the blame, Should I black your eye.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
BOMB RAID ON LONDON

filled with glass I overcame my fascf- nation and obeyed. Tt isn't only the bombs'' my friend went on. its the falling shapnel too.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

farmers are noted for their loyalty, will increase his food crop acreage.
 If we do not have bumper harvest next fall it will not be because the farmers have failed to do their part. Weather conditions permitting, the grain production this year will make a high record. The farmers will plant for a 4,00o, ,0O0, ,OO0-bushel corn crop, and if their hopes are realized, the yield will be something like a billion bushels greater than the record crop of 1917.
 The condition of winter wheat is promising, but it is too soon for the agricultural department to make an intelligent forecast. But even if all the main crops turn out to be record breakers, there will be barely enough food for home consumption and ex- bort consumption on a normal scale. | Not only will strict conservation be lreauired, but the home garden must lbe cultivated more intensively than ever. The garden campaign must be pushed, and pushed vigorously. While winter held us in it's grasp, it was hard to arouse householders with garden rlats and owners of vacant !city lots to the gravity of the food Isituation. But now with the backbone of winter broken, and with spring approaching, every man able to wield spade should have the garden fever | in his bones.
 Let's have strong campaign drive without further delay.
 The loss of Birmingham Central High School building may be blessing in disguise, but it calls for considerable optimism to be able to view the matter in that light.
 l Life is still tranquil in the South Sea Islands. That's probably because the South Sea Islanders don't take the New York newspapers. ! Ss
 Those gentlemen who are running for the govcrnorsiip of Alabama must be wearing rubber soles They are scarcely audible
 It has been suggested that thrift stamps be sent instead of valentines. That will knock the socks off romance. af H: # Magazine writers waste lot of more or less valuable time trying to figure out whether or not Chicago has a soul. < # * 1 Japan can't devote her undivided at- tention to the war for keeping one eye on the worlds trade markets
 * > a l Wheatless days are playing hob with the man who feels uncomfortaL le without his daily portion of pie. | # % # Does Bolo Pasha really agree with his brothers contention that he is person of no importance?
 1 The nations knitting is going ahead with increased vigor since the Tuscania was torpedoed.
 Nicholas Romanoff is in position not to grow excited about what is happen. ine in Russia.
 If music be the food of love, syncopa- tion does great violence to the tender passion.
 I Spain's protests to Berlin over the sink ing of Spanish ships have perfunctory tone.
 $ < $
 The Kaiser is as full of speeches as a prohibition orator in wet district.
 x < 7
 The German idea of a good peace is one that will be good for Germany.
 E < r
 That fire at yassar was not started. il is believed, by chafing dish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
DOING HIS BIT

T never hear you critieizing your neighbors.
 q haven't the heart to do it." an- swered MT. Dubwaite.
 Most extraordinary
 Not at all. The only neighbors I know well enough to criticize have two sons in France and feel it my patriotic duty to gloss over any little imperfections they may have. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
ATTENTION, HENS:

From the Nashville Tennessean.
 No patriotic hen will spend her tims in poultry show. with eggs at 70 cents a dozen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
KEEPING HIS cOuRaGr

From the Chicago News
 Emperor Williams boasting sounds li,-a whistling in graveyard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
A sToPovER

What was my condition when came home last night?" asked MT. Jagsby.
 "Beastly, sir That is the only word to describe it, replied Mrs. Jagsby.
 Yet, opened the front door with my latch key, undressed and retired to bed in fairly good order, did I not?"
 You did, sir. But I would have you understand that you took nap of three hours duration on the front doormat before you performed those functions"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14
IN A BAD HUMoR

How are you progressing with that wonderful garden of yours?"
 'Who said it was wonderful?" asked the suburbanite, grossly.
 "oh, just used the adjective to make you feel better"
 Well please don't do it again. I'm not one of those silly asses who thinks that every time he puts handful of seed in the ground he has accounted for regiment of German soldiers"
 A FoRLoRN HOPE
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala'' postoffice as second-class matter un- der act of Congress, March $, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

A FoRLoRN HOPE has taken sudden dislike to me. He
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald, year $s'oo Daily without Sunday .......... e.VV Daily and Sunday, per month ...- .tV Daily and Sunday. three months. z'oV Sunday Age-Herald, per annum.' z.Oo Thursdays ediuon, per annum 70
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

kemittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald VII not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address,
 THE AGE-HERALD,
 Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14

"Gentlemen," said he, coming fresh from the western front where regiments are being, not smashed, but wiped out where a man minute is giving his lie to preserve liberty throughout the world, I dare not be other than serious. for 1 have seen and l know that the hour mas come when we must make those who have remained at home and far away from the firing line realize that all we prize in our civilization is at stake and that civilian as well as soldier must do his all or we will be beaten.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-02-14


 "Clicl'' was a word much used by him. It stood for uprightness, it meant obe- dience, it carried with it the idea of pre- cision it had the smoothness of an en- zine well oiled and humming in time to every part of the great war machine, his superior, to the swifter rolling of tender woman's hand, to the speeder thrust of the soldiers bayonet It had rude alarm of the bugle's call to battle when the army over vast stretches must get into action, not on the minute, but the second
 He had the click about him. His eyes snapped fire as he vlsioned what they had seen of the Huns ruthlessness. His heels came together with click when he saluted the flag His firm set Jaws clicked as he said that every Englisn- man'would die in his tracks before the German army should fight it's way to the sea and threaten Britannia. John Bull IS a good name for the Britishcr. for when the English bulldog gets a hold and his { teeth click" he never lets go until death.
 I am glad this splendid specimen. or 1 the English army man is going to sari- ous military camps to carry the message 1 to Garcia, for I believe every American who hears him will realize that his first business is to learn obedience after mak- 1 ing the supreme sacrifice of volunteer | glad that he gripped us here in Birming- i ham and made those of us who heard hin I resolve to do what he asked and arouse l the people to the seriousness of the sit :, uation since Russia has gone out for 1 good
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1918-04-17
COU NTY NEWS
SEAL COVE.

Mrs. E. L. Mclean of Augusta, with two
children, IS ia town.
Dana 5wasey OF the coast patrol is at
home for short furI ugh from the Otter
Greek station.
Mrs. E. P. Lunt, appointed postmistress
here - succeed j. j. Heath, resigned, took
the ctsce April s.
MS Mary Jane Heath died April 3, at
che age OF lightweight years. Her death
MARKS the passing OF the last Older mem
Der of ore otethe best-known Maine fami-
lies. She was granddaugate OF William
Heath, soldier in the American Revolu-
tiop. She was charter member of the
Mt. Vernon association and also a mem
her OF the Red Cross. Miss Heath fitted
herself for a teacher in what was, in early
days. Gorham academy. She took an
aetiy,, interest in affairs of the prese nj
dsy. in spite OF her advanced age. Her
Illness was brief, death being due to cere
bral aemorrhage, she having been in her
usual Health up to about week before
her death. Funeral services were held at
the home Sunday, April Z, Rev. Mr. For
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1918-04-17
sythe OF Southwest Harbor officiating.
Interment in the family cemetery.
NORTH BRooKsvILLE.

Mrs. Sidney Snow spent the weekend
in Bluehili.
G. A. Pierce visited his son Foster at
Limerick last week.
The daughter arriving at the Methodist
parsonage April has been chrtstened
Katheryn Eliza beth Violet Carson.
The many friends here OF Alice Beckford
Ellis were panied to hear of her death in
New York April 2. Mrs. Ellis was a
native of this town, daughter OF the late
Il. B. and Nancy Beckford. Interment
was at rarrytown.
April Is. Z.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1918-04-17
TRENTON.

Roy Davis and wife have moved to Bar
Harbor.
Mrs. Robbins OF Harrington is with her
daughter, Mrs. Hayden Bunker, who has
been ill the past month.
Mrs. Lonnie Woodwork and son
Harold, OF Bar Haroor, are with her
father, B. F. Jordan, for week.
April 10. W.