The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1918-03-22
Mr.. SIMPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
By ROBERT Me5LAIR.

COiOh 'ElIS, VINO n0Q TOUR times ,
tsE...esa.n ,i1I0ted for valor during the
Civn~ r. and had died bravely on the
feld--z> action. Mr. Simpkins throat
ached now for two reasons: First, he
reverenced and adored the memory of
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
go to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncomprOmis
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
in Imagination, the khaki-clad lads of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
fight, maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (whO
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for a salute.
But his equity shoulder twinged, and he
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
DAMN said Mr.. Simpklns, and
with his other hand fiercely twirled his
: white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the IL
-brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr. Slmpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject of taxes ever since he had discOv-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage of it he
pays in taxes. He could think of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pay only a
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the information
. that it asked for.
AS Mr.. Slmpkins' income was $4,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes, that is, single men making
over 1000 His calculation for mar
First, they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000 deducting 5000 for each Of their
children under eighteen years In Mr.
Simpkins' case this was 1912, which he
put down in the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 1911
law, married men pay an additional
per cent on all over $2OO0-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $3.50 to his payable" column.
y BE sthen observed that for every
a. 800 Jump in his income over 5000
ns had to pay a Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. Thi
was $3.50 more added to his burden
And on top of all this came an "Ex
cess Profits" tax of 8 per cent. on al
Occupation" income over $4,000, max
ing S72O more
The total, then, he must pay was fOul
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Wheww exclaimed Mr.. Simpkin
angrily. "There's young Henry WI
kins, who married Jake Johnson's cir
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay
cent of taxes. l guess this is his wa
as we'll as minei"
Thinking of young Henry Wilkins
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins weI
every afternoon to make bandages fc
the Red Cross and that Henry, VIII
was a lawyer, was aiding the Loo;
Draft Board with It's Questionnaires.
"Wel," he admitted to himsel
"that makes a difference"
He thought next Of Judge WillOug
by, whose income was about $1,000.
HE only pays 500" commented NJ
Smpkins, not quite so angrily tn
time; and then a thought struck hi
and he sat up rigidly in his chair.
Judge WillOughby's son had be-
drowned on the Tuscania when 1t w
submarined with the loss of two hu
dred soldiers.
Judge Willoughby gave his son
America" muttered Mr. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and p
his face in his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Simpkins s
very still In that position. There W
no sound in the library except t
ticking Of the tall clock and an oc'
slonal trilI Of laughter from the Oh
. dren skylarking upstairs. The squa
of light on the carpet gradually wi
drew itself through the window, a
first twilight and then darkness settl
in about the quiet, white haired, sol
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking thir
which he would never afterward spe
of. he was thinking things that w
too sacred ever to be put into wor
But some inkling Of his thoughts II
be found in his rejoinder to N
slmpkIns when that placid lady ca
in and turned on the lights, and asl
him whether he was ready for dim
Judge Willoughby's only son '
worth as much as fourteen hund
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't h
Mr.. Simpkins demanded Of her.
As his wife, who was not unused
- IL IL