Trench and camp. [volume] (Augusta, Ga.) 1917-1919, 1918-06-12
Grin-AidS

~ 4 Al n "a ~
He was a proper professional con-
jurer, and, after proceeding to get the
Audience under his spell he commenced
in real earnest.
Now, ladies and gentlemen" he said,
with a wave of the hand "This is the
magic cabinet. / invite any lady in the
audience to enter this cabinet. l win
then close the door, and when it shall
be olened again, tn lady win have dis
appeared leaving no trace"
There was an impressive silence un-
til a little understood man in the Sec
ond row turned TO an enormous woman
who sat by him, and Ireathed eager
ly
m ria, dear. won't you oblige the
gentleman?"
Pat Murphy one day was in New
York looking for a job. He entered the
mayors office and the mayor said he
would give him work il he answered
three questions. Here they are: /.
What is the weight of the moon? Pat
said he could not answer that. 2. How
many stars are in the sky? Pat said ne
could not answer it, 3. What am /
thinking about? Sure. I could not
answer any of them" replied Pat.
"Wen, go home and think them over
and come in as soon as you can" said
the mayor so Pat went home and
told his brother Mike Then Mike said:
"You don't fret. Hand me your
clothes and III soon settle that fellow"
said Mike. Next day Mike started off
for the mayors office, dressed up as
Pat, and told the mayor he was ready
to answer the questions. What is the
weight of the moon?" "One hundred
pounds" replied Mike; twenty five
pounds to each quarter. four quarters"
Every good" said the mayor. How
many stars in the SKYE" zone billion
sixty-six millions four hundred and
seYenty-two thousand and forty"
Capital" said the mayor. What am
I thinking Off" "Ye're thinking I'm
Pat, but you're terribly mistaken, for
I'm his brother Mike"
Dick" said a girl to her lover one
night recently, you've been drinking
coffee, haven't your"
He admitted it.
''Why do you drink it" she said
Well he answered thoughtlessiy;
SCI did it because l was coming to see
you and wanted to keep awake"
He is looking for new girl now.
Binks held out his hand to the young
man advancing up the street.
why old ma | haven't seen you
for ages" he said.
The other returned his handshake as
he replied:
''Ah, but | saw you only yesterday
doing a gallant action. You were Civ
ing up your seat to a lady"
Blinks reflected a moment.
well, that wasn't exactly gallantry
it was really self-defense," he answer
ed Rather than have her stand on
my feet l preferred to stand on them
myself.
"Sedentary work." said the college
lecturer. tends to lessen the endur-
ance."
In other words" butted in tn smart
student the more one sits the less one
can stand"
Exactly" retort the lecturer; land
if one lies a great deal.one's standing is
lost completely
Former Senator George Sutherland
of Utah. relates the following: zone
evening a young man attended circus
where one of the big features of the
show was a beautiful lion tanner, En-
tering the ring, followed by iion the
fair charmer placed lump of sugar
between her lips, which the king of the
forest took from her with his teeth
Instantly the youth sat up and began to
take notice. Grea~ stunt all flgnt, ne
enthusiastically shouted to the per-
former but [ can do it tool" OF
course scornfully replied the pretty
performer. who didn't like having her
act minimized, but do you really think
you can? Most cssuredly,' was the
prompt rejoinder of the young man,
just as wen as the lion"
young Dobbins is a wise man. You
have to give him credit"
What has he done now?"
HE is remaining neutral in the war
fare between his wife and their cook"