Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-03-26
or word. But, stranger. when

| have heard two miles, and started
out 10 Kill soInebody-because, you
know, | knew il would come 10 that
sooner Or later. and so | might as
well begin. | read one OF them par
agraphs over again, 50 as TO be GER
tain, and then | burned my house
down and started. J have crippled
I several people, and have got one TEL
low up i tree. where | can get MN
In | want hIm. But | thought
| would call in here as 1 passed along
ami make the thing perfectly GER
tain; and now il is certain, and tell
you il is lucky for the chap that IS
in the tree. / should have killed him
sure, as / went back. od-byc, sir.
good bye: you have taken a great
load off my mind. My reason has
stood the strain OF one Of your asrl-
cultural articles. and know that
nothing can ever unseat II now.
Goodbye. sir"
| iclt a little uncomfortable about
tn. cripplings and arsons this per-
son had been entertaining himself
| with, for could not help feeling re-
murcly accessory to them. Bnt
| these thoughts were quickly pan
ishcd, Tor the regular editor walked
in. q thought To myself. now II YOU
had gone to Egypt as | recommended
yuu 10, might have had chance 10
get my hand in: but you wouldn't
! do il, and here you are. sort OF "X-
pccted you.)
The editor was looking sad and
pcrplcXcd and detected.
lie surveyed the wreck that old
riutcr and these two young farmers
had made, and then said: This Is
Il sad busincss-a very sad business
There is the mucilage bottle broken.
and six panes OF glass and Il spittoon.
and two candlcStickS. But that Is not
the worst. The reputation of the pa
per is injurrd--and permanently.
fear. True, there never was such
call ior the paper before, and II ncN-
rr sold such !; large edition or Soaird
to such crlcbrity--but does on"
want to be famous for lunacy. aud
prosper upon the iniirinitirs oi his
mind: My friend, as | ann an honest
man, the street out thcr" is lull vi
moplc, and others are rOusting on
he fences, waiting To get Il glimpse
Of YOU, because they think you ar"
crazy. And we'll they might aitri
reading your editorials. They ar"
Il disglgIc" To journalism. Why, what
put il into your head that you could
cdit Il paper of this nature? You do
not seem To know the first rudiincnts
Of agriculture. You speak OF fur
row and Il harrow as being the same
thing: you talk OF the moultinS sea-
son for cows, and you recommend
the domcstication of the polccat on
crllcncc as Il rattcr. Your remark that
CLAIMS will lie quiet If music be play
cd TO them was supcriiuous-cntirely
supcrlluous. Nothing disturbs CLAIMS.
NlllllS always NuiSN. 49,
nothing whatever about music. All,
heavens, and earth, friend! If you
had made the acquiring Of ignorance
the study OF your life, you could not
have graduated with higher honor
than you could today. | never saw
anything like ii. Your observation
that the horse chestnut as an article of
o@~,-- 49,, -, 49, AZ, ~ u - t. e ..i
T uun1inrte -r$SIvauIS gaining III raNof'
is simply calculated to destroy TINS
journal. | want you to throw up your
situation and 20. ! want no more
holiday could not enjo! it II had
| it. Certainly not with you in IN!
chair [ would always stand in dread
OF what you might bc going TO re-
commend next. II makes me lose my
patience every time ! think Oi your
discussing oyster beds under the head
of Landscape Gardening | want you
to 20. Nothing on earth could per-
suadc me to take another holiday. ON.
why didn't you tell me you didn't
know anything about agriculture?
| Tell you, you cornstalk, you cab
bagc you son of q caulitlower? It's
the first time | ever heard such an
| unfecling remark. tell you | have
been in the editorial business going
on fourteen years. and 1t Is the first
| time | ever heard of mans having
to know anything in order to edit
a newspaper You turnip! Who
| writes the dramatic critiques for the
second rate papers? Why, parcel ol
promoted shoemakers and appren-
| tice apothecaries, who know just AZ
much about good acting as | do
about good farming and no more.
Who review the books? People who
never wrote one. Who do up the
heavy leaders on finance? Parties
who have had the largest opportuni-
/ ties for knowing nothing about IL.
Who criticisc the Indian campaigns
IGentlemen who do not know war
whoop from a wigwam, and VINO
never have had to run foot race
with tomahawk, or pluck arrows
out of the several members OF their
| families to build the evening camp
fire with. Who write the temperance
appeals, and clamor about the flow
ing bowl? Folks who Will never
draw another sober breath till they
do it in the grave. Who edit the ag-
| ricultural papers. you-yam? Men,
rs a general thing, who fail In the
poetry line, ellow-covered novel
line, sensation drama line, city edl-
tor line. and finally fall back on agri-
culture as 4 temporary repriere from
the poorhouse. You try to tell me
anything about the newspaper busi-
ness. Sir, have been through 1t from
Alpha to Omaha, and tell you that
the less IA man knows the bigger noise
he makes and the higher the salary
he commands. Heaven knows If | had
nf i