The Washington herald., 1918-01-09

W VGNNtNS
Some Fellows Are Touchy.
Sunday night Elias Smith was sit
ting in the movies" holding hands
with his best girl.
At the end Of the second reel some
one tapped Smith on the shoulder.
.'Say dere. Smoke, wen yeh gonna
pay me NAH dollar?" gruffly demand
ed voice. the property of Louis
Craig.
"Goayfum here" said Smith. "Ah
doan owe yuh nothin'. Besides, All
nebber saw you afore.''
Cum outside" challenged Louis,
zen yo' will wish yo' had nebber seen
me dis time"
waiting to see IL he was man enough
to accept the challenge. She had no
use for a mollycoddle.
Smith got up and went out. with
Louis right behind him.
"watcha bawl me out in front of
NAH gal for?" demanded Smith,.
Louis said nothing. He looked at
Smith out of one eye.
With his other eye he was scanning
the horizon for a cop. Seeing none,
he landed on Smith and knocked his
jaw out of place.
Smith really owed Louis 81. which
he had borrowed the week before to
take his girl out. But even II he does
pay IL back. Louis won't get the bene-
At of 1t. as his finances have been
lowered to the tune Of so for hitting
Smith.
Expensive 1Nightie.."
nnon thara xpaa q ,,ap uho uhen
another man stole his sweetheart, got
even with the fellow by stealing his
beer.
This time 1t was one Of the militant
feminines who chose a peculiar way
| TO get even with someone.
Lizzie Smith worked OUT as a do
nestle She had to work awful hard,
she said.
Her employer even made her clean
out the furnace, she told the court.
That was a mans job, she insisted,
and she must be revenged for this
indignity.
So Lizzie swiped two nightgowns
from her employer. She Gizzie)
wasn't the only one who was to be
| embarrassed, she thought
| OF course. a nightgown is some
thing which will certainly be missed
| after II is stolen. And in the course
| Of time Lizzie was locked up.
i The court tried to tell Lizzie thai
/ two wrongs did not make right.
! Ash cans and nightgowns can never
have anything in common. she was
told.
And after fining her so the court
said it would investigate her record
to see IL she is as bad as folks say
she is.
Pinch Meets Pinchee.
Revenge may be sweet sometimes.
And at other times 1t may make a
noise like an unripe persimmon.
So far as we know. no one ever re-
venged himself on the law for its hav-
ing punished him-and got away with
IL.
Policeman Roane, in the middle of
December, arrested Dan Sheay. Fol-
| lowing this arrest there was a dis
pute about the amount Of money seiz-
ed from an alleged gaming table.
Several days after the case was
finished Sheay met Roane on the
street. And so Roane said. sheay
read the riot act to him and raked
him over the Goals, using consider
able profanity.
Sheay was again arrested. AS he
was at the box, waiting for the pa
troll, there was a scuffle in which he
and the policeman took parts. I
| Roane's face was badly scratched
He carries the marks yet
The court objects very seriously tc
mutilation of minions of the law. II
everybody got back at the cops fol
upholding the law the police force
would all be in heaven.
Sheay was fined $60-s10 for disor.
! derly conduct and $50 for scratching
the policeman.
Shamed for 90 Days.
One Monday afternoon Fred Kelly
was walking down Fifth street as
happy as a lark. He was smiling and
= singing to beat the band.
He had walked about a half square
when he suddenly felt someone wrap,
ping a bandage around his head. He
was not upon the street either, he
was in his own little bed, with ar
awful looking head.
As the doctor pinned the last lar
of bandage on, Fred sighed.
''Dis is shore de quickest thing dat
eber happened to me-" he conflded tC
Doc.
A week later he was able to sit ur
and take notice. The buzzing in his
head prevented him from doing any
clear thinking.
Milton Jackson came to visit him
During one of Fred's lucid moments
Milton confided to him that he had
discovered the identity OF his assail.
ant.
ton said. He-had found it out after q
little gumshoe work.
All because Fred had been talking
to his girl the night before, Eph al
most committed a murder.
/ The court told Eph that he should
be ashamed OF himself. Ana then II
send him to Jail for sixty days.