davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
NURSING q Crouch.

Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Thi paper says
that a woman should not nurse a
crouch.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Oh, well, II she
marries one and he's sick, how can she
help 1t?
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
Too Much White In Malta.

The houses, streets and roads In
Malta are built Of nearly white stone.
and during the summer months these
reflect the suns rays 50 strongly that
colored glasses are largely worn BY
both the native population and for
eigners. Many sizes and forms Of
frames and many different colory Of
glass are used.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
Those Rope.FIlIed Smokes.

Bill-Give some men rope enough
and they'll hang themselves.
Gill-Oh, don't think It's as bad as
all that.
"what do you mean by bad as oil
that?"
"why, you've given me a number
Of those cigars you smoke and they've
made me feel bad, but not bad enough
to hang myself"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
His Eavorite Dish.

mo wonder women go into politics.
ventured Mistress MallOch; "men are
such brutes and devoid of sentiment.
The other night l asked viii, in my
sweetest way. what his favorite dish
was, and he said. The ash-tray.'"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
Undecided,

"Now l sneak on as burglar. The
stage is dark. must not be discov.
cred"
"All right"
BE sure to keep me In the spot
iight."-LOuisville COurier-Jourpal.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
OrIojn Of Cotton Boil

The pink boil worm, the worst enemy
known to the cotton crop Of India.
probably originated there. Later II was
found in Burma. Ceylon. Egypt and in
almost every other cotton district on
the globe.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12

lesson for the sew
enth and Ell & h { h
grades and the first
year of high school
will describe the
life Of a colonial
family as an ex-
ample Of a fairly
independent eco
nOmic unit. The
lesson for the lower
grades will deal
with the things So
ciety makes and
uses.
The second PAM
phlet issued will
deal with produc-
ton and conserva-
ton.
In n letter to
s DOL officials
President Wilson
cniI loSt A,,n,,ct.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
Where He Was

Mr.. Dumpsey (who catches JOHNNY
among his mothers fresh tarts,-
Look here, Johnny! What are you nm
to?
Johnny (indistinctly)-Up to the
ninth. pa. but they're awfully small
PearsOn's Weekly.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
hldh Snots

Bill-When he goes out for a good
time he always hits the high spots.
doesn't he?
Gill-Well. he sits in the top gal.
lery at the theater, II that's what Won
mean.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12

Every time a person gives way to q
bad temper they put poison into their
system which has to be worked of az
the expense Of their general health.
Every time one laughs heartily they
add to the length Of their own life ana
add to the happiness Of the lives Of
others. Nature kills OF the right ones
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
1hanka Wa Not Enounh

THAT man made a hundred thou.
sand dollars in six months last year. /"
He ought to thank his lucky stars ~
"Oh. he has to do more than that
He's In the theatrical business"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-04-12
B1YS zndE
F l6tlT IND
KAISERz

HE boy and girl en-
ergy of the country
is worth the services
Of half Il million men
-, tho tit.iprlinav
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

Now that the aviation camps are to
be located at Arcadia, and that flying
machines will be whirring above us
frequently pretty soon, Lakeland
should bestir herself and provide a
landing place for the aeroplanes, so
that Uncle Sans bird men may drop
down" and see us often. A piece of
cleared land a mile square is re-
quired, unless we are mistaken; and
we have no doubt that some patriotic
citizen or citizens who have land ad-
jacent to the city will allow its use
for the purpose, and that other pub
lic-spirited citizens will assist in
clearing and otherwise preparing it.
All transportation lines center into
Lakeland, and the aerial highways
must be no exception, Let us make
our city one of the most desirable sta
lions for the aviators, as it is one OF
the most natural for them to visit
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
LOVES APHORISMS

Out of respect to ST. Valentine VINO
is we'll known to lovers, February Is
known as Cupid's month, and Wniie
the following predictions include all
Of the months of the year, February
Is o most fitting time to enumerate
them.
Not one of the months but has its
own predictions. Thus runs the best
known formula:
Married in January's boar and
rime, widowed you'll be before your
prime.
Married in February's sleety
weather, life you'll tread in tune to-
gether
Married when March winds shrill
and roar, your home will lie on for
eign shore;
Married meath April's changeful
skies, checkered path before you
lies.
Married when bees DER May
blooms fit, strangers around your
board will sit;
Married in queen-rose month OF
June, life will be one long honey
moon.
Married as July's flower banks
blaze, bitter-sweet memories in after
days.
Married in A1gust's heat ant
browse, lover and friend in YOU
chosen spouse.
Married in gold September's glow
smooth and serene your life vii
flow.
Married when leaves in Octobe
thin, toll and hardship for YOU be
gin.
Married in wells OF Navem er mis-
fortune your wedding rirg ha
kissed.
Married in days Of necembe
cheer, loves star shines trlghte
from year to year"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
WaveletS
Fro m
The Deep
C. Green

He who hesitates-doesnt waltz.
The water in my hotel was not ev-
Ell luke-warm this morning. I think
Luke must have been out all night.
When father comes in, the young
man goes out.
It's "plane"to be seen a carpenter
can attain high "level."
Society women have given many a
party on party line.
Glad to hear Roosevelt better this
Very few single people up around
Ocala. It's quite Marion county.
In some houses the Home Rule is
longer than a foot.
Don't waste your time in wasting
your arm. Are you hep?
Conserve your words. Some day
they will make a record.
You can't drive a buggy without a
"hitch" somewhere.
Maybe some day pies will grow on
a pas-tree.
When you kiss him goodbye, grille
kiss him behind the ear. He surely
won't wash it off.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
wzuAsNT' an 4 pTG MAN

rhoodore N Vail, vice president
-. general manager Of the Bell Tel
o,bone Company, has been cruising
tho East Coast Of Florida in as hne
chartered yacht as ever visited 81
Augustine. He spent much time a.
tho Ancient City. often he had occa'
sion to use the telephone. And Whe,'
NJ Vat, calls his office in New YORK
from any part Of the country Nc
,.ots II and gets it quick, with gooa
; rnection For Mr.. Vail WOULDN'T
call his office if he didn't want MS oi-
sca II is necessary to the govern
! ant that Mr.. Wallis orders be car
ried out swiftly. Late one afternoon
tho charming and accommodating TO-
90, chief operator called up st. Au-
e,lstine's live-wire manager, Roy ".
suead. who has been raised IN the
telephone business and knows the
nclicies of the company like book.
She was excited. The Jacksonville
operator had rung back in Mr.. vars
ear while he was talking to his New
York Office, the chief operator
thought; "and now he wants to talk
to YOU" she said, che thinks did
it," "Well, you didn't do it, did you"
replied the never excited Roy Snead.
LET me talk to him and we'll soon
see what he wants" Mr.. Vail want
ed Mr.. Snead to dine with him on the
palatial steam yacht. During the
course of the dinner Snead men
tened to Mrs. Vail the excitement of
the chief operator that afternoon.
Theodore, did you hear that?' and
she told him all about it. The general
manager of the Bell Telephone Com
pally said he must have finished talk
ing when the telephone rang back,
because he did not hear it. How
nany girls have you up there,
SEead?" said the heavy voice of the
general manager. He was told that
there were ten but, of course, they
: could not all leave the office at the
same time. Invite five of them down
to the yacht for dinner tomorrow, >
! ordered Mr.. Vail, "and have the other
five down the next day" Needless to
say, they went, and dressed in thei!
best frocks, A happier crowd Of pref.
ty working girls never lived thar
those that day. They beamed will
PRIDE and delight. One girl ha(
measles, and to her Mrs. Vail sent
r great big boquet of beautiful, fra
y grant white flowers. Few exchange,
nave been thus honored. Nobody rams
back in Mr.. Wallis ear; when tn.
phone rang back, he had hung up
Ptt the laughter of those nine tele
r phone girls as they ate dinner on tn,
}. stream yacht will ring back in tn,
r ears OF the great New Yorker durin,
e all his days of the earth, and mayb
!, atterwards.-St. Augustine Record
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
md ia altogether too much to ex-

yond, is altogether too much 70 Ga
pect.
,rhe Civil War in this country
brought no such moral revolution a.
seems to be expected now. On the
contrary it seems to have marked an
other kind of an era in American
morals. We should not expect too
much of this war, when it Is all over
and we again begin to pick up ths
threads of national life. We VIII al
be about the same sort Of people, with
htster ideals perhaps, but with abou~
the same frailities, -Miami Herald
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
TIE PRESIDENT AND
THE GERMAN PEOPLE

Dispatches from Amsterdam state
that President Wilson's latest speech
is printed in full by the Tageblatt,
Vorwaerts, Vossiche-Zeitung and Lo-
kal-Anzeiger in Berlin, the Frankfort
Zeitung, Cologne Zeitung and Bre-
men Weser Zeitung.
These are all important newspa-
pers of wide circulation. Others show
by their comment that they do not
think in platoons. The Cologne Volks-
zcitung, powerful Catholic organ,
says that the President elves in a
world that does not exist" neverthe
less, his plans are Selfish" The
Frankfort Zeitung finds the speech
vague but striving to work in the in
terests Of peace" Representing Big
business, the Westfalische Zeitung
heads its comment, Wilson the Pois-
oner." But Viennese organs and
some German ones speak of his lat
est utterance with significant re,
spect.
Remembering how President viii.
son's state papers have been distorted
in Germany in the past, is there not
a definite advance in the fact thai
millions of German readers are now
reading his proposals in his owr
words? Let commentators fling cpl
thets as they will; after more thar
forty-two months of war the Germa,
people have at last an opportunity Il
find out what the war is about on thu
part of the Allies.-New York World
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

Lakeland is one of the smallest
cities of which we know that has a
Rotary Club, but we'll guarantee that
Lakeland has no small Rotary Club
is the kindly way the Arcadia News
puts it. Lakeland is already getting
much valuable advertising from the
mere announcement that Rotary
Club has been formed here. It shows
that the city has big proportion of
boosters, for a knocker would just
naturally feel out of place in Rotary
circles.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

Visitors complain to us Of the noise
made by cut-outs, and Of the menace
of fast and careless auto driving over
the city streets, A new traffic ordi-
nance has recently been passed by
the city authorities, designed to give
relief from just such annoyances. All
that remains to be done is for the Of.
ficials to enforce its provisions. II
is printed in today's issue of this pa
per and auto drivers should look it up
and acquaint themselves with its re
quirements, else they may have ar
unpleasant experience in the police
court.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
q u uupuuuuuu n n Il n q q
4 MEMBER OF THE ASsOcl- q
4 ArED PRESS n

q The Associated Press is exclu- q
q siveIy entitled to the use for 70 q
Il publication Of all news credited q
q to It or not otherwise credited q
n In this paper and also the local q
n news published herein. All rights q
n Of republication Of special dis q
n patches herein are also reserved. q
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. II u n n a
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
EXPECTING TOO MUCH

III we were not pretty well ac-
qcainted with the vagaries OF the
American mind we might be sur
prised to learn that there are those
whc affect to believe that when the
war is all over, and when the soldiers
return once more to their homes,
about every political and moral and
social evil that has afflicted the
world from the beginning of time
down to the declaration Of war, will
be done away and man will emerge
from the struggle, reformed, re-made
and new creature, altogether.
AS one writer, more hopeful than
wise, puts it, "men shall then know
their sacred duty and freely contrib
ute to human needs. The cords OF
stint shall be Embossed, and grasping
greed shall have no place, but all will
draw from natures storehouse unre-
stricted, all the things the heart may
crave. None will try to rob his neigh
Dor nor begrudge him his equal
share"
One of the things that can be pro-
phesied with some certainty is that
economical and political conditions,
especially in this country, will be
changed to very great degree after
the war. We are never going back to
the days before the war any more
than we can 60 back to the days pre-
vious to the civil war Our civiliza-
ton will be changed, inevitably, but
no man now knows whether it will
he for the better or for the worse.
except as there is always ground for
believing that the Almighty works out
good from the greatest evil that can
come to a man or to people.
But there is not much in the situa-
tio1: to base prophecy that men arc
to he wholly regenerated. and that
the world is henceforth to be place
of comfort and peace, where the lio1
and the lamb are to lie down togeth-
or, and all that sort Of thing.
Ii out of this war there comes ar
arrangement by which nations car
rever again go to war, if some sort
Of system can be developed thai
will make armies and navies unnec
ossary, much will be gained for thu
world If, in addition to this safety
there shall come a development o
democracy that will do away with al
autocracy and leave the peoples o
the world free to work out their owl
dcstinies in their own way, withou
molestation from larger or stronge
neighbors, very much will be game,
for the world. And, directly, that i
about all that can be reasonably an
fairly expected.
II is true that we are justified i
believing that the people of tn
world will be kinder one to another
after this frightful holocaust ha
ended, when men shall have realize
to the fullest extent just what miser
land suffering means. It is also tru
that we will probably learn much /
the way Of sanitation, in surgery, |
iscience, in agriculture, in thrift, /
efficiency as a result Of the war, bu
that human nature is to be RADICAL
changed is hardly to be expected.
We are going to learn a great meas
ure of common sense and of self n
straint in this war, and we may, pei
haps, be able to shed much Of GU
emotionalism, but that our moral ns
, lures are to be turned upside dow
!, and inside out and man step at ono
. into that state of perfectness we a.
sociate with thoughts of the life b,
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

We all might emulate G. Washing
ten to the extent of not telling lie
on his birthday-for that one day any
way. But some folks we know would
have to 60 into a trance or otherwise
lose consciousness for the day.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

The situation in Russia is so con-
fusing that all we're really certain
about in the premises is that we
wish we had back the money we
loaned them Russkyvitches.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
NOTICES!

A party will leave Lakeland for
Cape Sable on Saturday morning, Feb.
23rd. Persons wishing to arrange for
the trip with them, please call at the
office Of the Cape Sable Land Co.,
l and Deem and Bryant Bldg, by
Friday. 1921
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

1t is said the Germans are prepar-
ing for an offensive, but we don't see
how they can make themselves any
more offensive than they have been
for quite some time.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21
THE LAKELAND NEWS

A weekly newspaper giving a resume
u local matters, crop conditions,
county affairs, etc. Sent anywhere
for $50 per year.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

THE, BEST MATERIAL and Best
Workmanship combined in the Best
Smoking Cigar. The Best Selling
Cigar, therefore smoke A. H. T.
esss
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

FOR SALE-Good mich COW, fresh
in a few days. Apply to ]. c..
Swindel, Boz 437, or Phone 100
Red. 1882
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-02-21

FOR RENT-March 1st two house
keeping rooms, convenient and
comfortable. Phone 427 Black or
apply 1908 Success avenue. 1897
The Coconino sun., 1918-11-22

In accordance with the provisions of Paragraph 3067, Chapter XI of the Revised Statutes of Arizona, 1913 Civil Code, the Board of Supervisors declared the following candidates elected to the various county and pre- cinct offices:
 Judge of the Superior Court, J. E. Jones; State Senator, Hugh E. Camp bell; State Representative, H. M. Stark; Sheriff, John o. Harrington; Clerk of the Superior Court, Tom L. Rees; Supervisor, -four year term) Fred Caring; Supervisor, (two year term) Lou Charlebois; Treasurer, M. A. Murphy; Recorder, Irene Bart; County Attorney, F. M. Gold; Asses sor, J. D. Dunn; County School Sup erintendent, Lenore Francis; Justice of the Peace, (Flagstaff Precincp Robert J. Kidd; Justice of the Peace, Williams Precinct) J. S. Button: Justice of the Peace, (Grand Canyon Precinct) Mrs. Helen Adams Cotton; Justice of the Peace, (Fredonia Pre- cinct) A. E. Lewis; Constable (Flag- staff Precinct) John o. Parsons; Con- stable (Williams Precinct) V. H. Me lick; Constable (Grand Canyon Pre- cinct) John Hance; Constable (Fre- donia Precinct) Milford Brooksby.
 The business of the meeting having been completed, the Board adjourned.
 Approved, c. T. WOOLFOLK, r Chairman. Attest, TOM L. REFS, Clerk.
The Coconino sun., 1918-11-22
FAIR CROP OF PINON NUTS
 REPORTED THIS YEAR

ALBUQUERQUE, N. M., Nov. 20. The pinon nut crop according to re- ports received by the District Forest CT, is below the average yield in New Mexico and Arizona. The heaviest crops reported are on the Datil Ma tional Forest, near Magdalena, where it is estimated that twenty-five car loads will be gathered; on the Carson Forest, near Questa, and on the Coco nino Forest, east of Flagstaff. There is also reported to be an abundance of the nuts on the north and west sides of the Jemez division of the Pecos Ma tional Forest. A light crop is report ed in the upper Cedro Canyon east of Albuquerque, the Chupadera mesa south of Mountainair, the Zuni coun- try south of Gallup and the Navajo country north of Gallup.
 In all it is expected that the aver age yield will be between 25 to 40 per cent of normally heavy crop.
 There is said to be heavy demand for pinon nuts in the east.
The Coconino sun., 1918-11-22
LIBERTY LOAN WORKERS
 RECEIVE THANKS

Hon. H. J. McClung, state chairman of the Arizona State Liberty Loan Executive Committee, is much pleas ed at the unqualified success of the workers in Arizona, and desires to convey the hearty appreciation of the officials in Washington, the officials of the federal district as well as his own thanks for splendid help rem dered.
 Secretary McAdoo in a telegram to James K. Lynch, governor of the fed eral reserve bank, says: Please con- vey to each member of the Liberty Loan organization in your district my grateful thanks and the assurance of my high esteem for the distinguished services they have rendered"
The Coconino sun., 1918-11-22

Office of the Board of Supervisors, Flagstaff, Arizona, Nov. IS, 1918.
 Pursuant to law, the Board of Sup ervisors met today. Present, Chair man Woolfolk, Members Hart and Caring, Clerk Rees, Deputy Clerk Aphold, F. w. Smith, F. D. Crable, F.. M. Gold, J.. D. Dunn, and Assistant County Attorney Wall.
 In accordance with Paragraph 3OO3, Chapter XI of the Revised Statutes of Arizona, 1913 Civil Code, the Board proceeded with the canvass of the votes cast at the General Election
The Coconino sun., 1918-11-22
SMALL PAPER VALUES
 MANY SUSPENSIONS

WASHINGTON, Nov. 2O.-The Re- publican Publicity Association, through its President, Hon. Jonathan Bourne, Jr., today gave out the fol- lowing statement from its Washington headquarters:
 "No other business has been hit harder by the war than the newspa- per business, particularly the smaller cities and country towns. The large metropolitan papers have probably suffered least. During 1917, more than 1900 publication went out of bus mess. After making allowance for new papers to be started, it appears that there was a net loss of 62 dailies and 569 weeklies.
 "The mortality statistics for 1918 will probably show as great a loss, for the shortage of paper, the increas- ing cost of all kinds of supplies, and the higher wages, together with the heavy call upon newspaper men foi military service have been more se- we're this year than last.
 "And one of the serious features ot the situation is that the people of tho country probably do not realize that the most valuable portion of the press has sustained the greatest loss. Under popular government the country pres! including not only country weeklies but the smaller dailies, is the req voice of the people. Editors of largc metropolitan papers do not have ant cannot have the close touch with thu people that is a necessary incident O the life of the country editor. Jus as Washington, D. C., is the poores place in the country to get a line ol the political thought of the nation, s, is the big city newspaper office tn poorest place to get correct pictur of national thought, either political O otherwise. The people of the Unite' States should realize this, and shoul' see to it that the whatever else hap pens the country press shall be main tained.
 Freedom of speech and of tn press is the first essential of Re publican form of government, for tn representatives of the people canno know the thoughts and aspirations an, desires of their constituents unles voiced through the mediumship of tn local press to which they have acces either directly, through the publica tion of communications, or indirectl, through the editors interpretation O the views of his community.
 "The country press, including tn smaller dailies, represents the produc ing element of our national life. 'Th larger metropolitan press represent the commercial factors. Just as pro duction is the first essential of a per manent prosperity, so the maintain ance of that portion of the press tha speaks for the producers is most i'm portant.
 "The metropolitan press has it place in our national life and nobod. wishes it i'll. The fact remains, how ever, that the vital interests of tn, nation. are most promptly and mos clearly represented and the though of the people most freely and maf courageously voiced by the countr. press. The people. of the country ma, not see it now. but they will some da, realize that the large preponderanc' of suspensions among the weekly pub lications is a menace to national wei fare"