South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-10-20


Mishawaka simply must contribute
its share OF used clothing for desti-
tute people in Belgium The Bel
gians would be welcome TO our old
clothes. but we fear that any Bel
gian appearing on the streets Of
Brussels in garments that we had
discarded would be arrested for too
generous an exhibition Of epidermis
We suppose 30 years hence a NOR
,uary notice viii read something like
this: He reached the ripe old age
of 1,250,00O miles. leaving upon the
shores Of time not less than A. tour
ling cars and SIS sets Of tires"
\ The crops of 1919 are not going TO
be hurt by the drouth Of the year be-
fore. Get the ground ready work
hard. eat in moderation. beware of
bootleggers and pray without ceas-
ing.
Nobody will ever live 10 the age
OF Methuselah." observes Doc era
ham. We will. ooc, if we ever live
long enough to live down the impress
sion that some people have Of what
we do during our vacations.
And the Germans haven't sense
enough TO know that what we are
doing now is but a curtain raiser to
the grand forward movement next
year that Will begin with early spring
and stop in Berlin.
The presidents answer TO Germany
was a backbone stiffener for the en-
tente allies and a slat-shatterer for
the Germans.
Theda Bara was in the east Lib
erty loan driving Theda wants 70
make the world safe for vampocracy.
When you call your friend over his
residence phone about half the time
the servant girl answers that he is
at the city market and his wife and
daughter at tee millinery opening.
Which means that woman's chief
concern at this time is TO upholster
her exterior, whereas Old Britches
is willing to go a little shabby if nee
essary in order 10 tickle his inside
occasionally with a porterhouse
steak.
1t is seldom that man acts the
fool. Most of the time when it seems
that way il is not acting at all, but
the real stuff.
Frequently. the casualty list shows
a soldier killed, only TO have the an
nouncement followed a little later by
a correction showing him 10 he
slightly wounded or back in the
trenches. We take it that there viii
be quite a good deal OF Enoch Ar
dening in this country after the war
Austria Hungary is acting very
much like a tired man who is long
ing for an old stump to sit on and
somewhere to spit.
A canvass Of the situation dis
closes the not surprising informa-
ton that the men are enthusiastic
in favor Of knee-length skirts for all
women except their own wives. sis
ters. daughters or sweethearts. Il is
observation-disclosures like this that
makes men godlike.
War is another name for agony
and misery. The only really happy
people this war has produced are
the German soldiers captured by our
boys.
THE Silent Woman" was a recent
attraction at the movies. The movies
have made something possible that
men once believed only death could
accomplish
The brother who says the anti
tobacco campaign will begin just as
soon as peace is signed ought to
study the unpleasant possibilities Of
an over-played hand.
A Chicago mother is red eaded
because a teacher slapped her boys
face. The teacher was wholly in the
wrong in this instance. If she had
studied the science of anatomy in
diligently she would have known the
spanking places the Lord in His in
finite wisdom provided.
In DAYS Of old
The Huns grow bold.
Came raging past the SOmme;
But now the Yanks
With guns and tanks.
Have chased them back, by gum,
The war ought 10 be very popular
in Arkansas. Among the health