The Lamar register., 1918-08-14

are Ill VIII Cohibat. oAyo Dohf t'
Tom to Lady julie, 81 know where you
are at-you're close to the corpora
ton, the guys who fry the fat" But
Lady julie, quite modcstly, disdains
to make reply. She merely smiles
with marked contempt, winks,> the
the truth is out-that's the reason
why.
Honestly, lads, it is getting to be
as good as an old time one ring cir
Gus when fellow could keep his eye
ON the entire performance and not
miss a thing. Don Quixote Thomas
jefferson lyman and Lady julius Cat
rina Gunter are at it like couple of
Boston brindles. And it is to be some
unique fight too, for each has been
permitted to select his own weapon.
Lady julie, ever demure and polite, has
adopted the tank of silent contempt
with which to crush the hero of the
windmill, while Don Quixote Thomas
jefferson lyman, naturally and in keep
ing with his established record, has
selected the sword of verbiage.
Tom is long on language. He can
use more words and say less in a given
length of time than any human being,
past, present or future, excepting pos
sibly Jim Ham Lewis, and just now
the Don thinks he has Ham playing
checkers. If ever Don Q. Thomas J.
lyman has his vocal organs affected
or paralysis hits his typewriter hand,
the game is over for him.
Verbosity with Lady julie is sacrilig-
ious. Silence with Tom is simply be-
yond the rank of possibilities. There
you are. Toms long suit is building
good roads on paper or from the lee
ture platform. 1t has been estimated
the number Of miles the Don has con-
strueted this way would reach around
the world nineteen times with enough
left over for a couple of broad high
Why's " bONll lllt tlpftf 5OulU DUit.
True Don Q. 7. J. T. has never built
a mile Of real road in his life, but
what matters that SO long as he has
made the people think he is a regular
Sampson at road building?
Don Quixote Thomas jefferson Ty-
nan says Lady julie is bigamist or u
polygamist or something like that pol
itically speaking. In this Tom has
kicked over the entire bucket Of demo-
cratic beans and decorated the land
scape with the chile. The Don insists
the Lady is not satisfied with joining
in political wedlock with all the cor
porations in Colorado, but is now run
ming matrimonial advertisements in
eastern papers hoping to annex few
that have not yet sneaked up on the
people Of this state.
Now Don Q. T. Jefferson lyman
doesn't like this sort of stuff. His pol
itical nature revolts at the very sug-
gestion. The only political alliance
Don Q. T. J. T. believes in is one that
attaches IA state job under diverse and
sundry administrations and allows the
attachee a fat expense account to EN-
able him to run around the state at
the expense of the taxpayers fixing
political fences. Toms intentions
if he every had any intentions outside
Of giving himself large sized boost
may be all right, but the fact that the
Denver Post is yelling for him gets
the peoples goat. Again, many who
might be yelling for him think he is
not acting right in accepting a state
Job with fat expense account-don't
over look that expense aecount-from
Lady julie and then devoting his time
TO planting dynamite under the good
danes arm chair.
The tank of silent contempt as used
by Lady julie is some powerful weap-
on. Oh, no, fellows, she doesn't run
it herself. That would be shocking
for the tank engages in most inhuman
methods at times, such, for instance
as crushing the hopes of gallant Judge
of Brighton, Helen Ring Robinson, 1t.
Gov. Pulliam and ambitious Charley
Friend. The tank is handled by its
crew consisting Of Chairman Miller,