Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-01-03
(ponuI! -oO)
A Bit of
German
Shell

| and we were bub-
bling over with
good humor. There were two rea-
sons for this: First-our battalion
was to be relieved at nine that night
and, we were going back for two
weeks rest. Second--it was spring.
We could smell it in the air. Even
tho wind blowing from the German
trenches in our direction had a sweet
and "springy' smell.
About thirty yards down a COM
munication trench to the left was an
orchard. The trees were Scared
from bullets and fragments of she'll;
but even these battered trunks could
not resist the feel of spring, because
here and there on the twigs and
branches could be seen bursting
buds. Fitting around were numer-
Gus birds. chirping, and sometimes
wrangling among themselves.
To me il seemed odd that birds
could accustom themselves to war.
Occasionally a German she'll. or per-
haps one of ours. would go scream
ing over the orchard. The birds did
not seem to mind the noise--just
carried on with their nest building.
In our company was an American
named Alexander Stewart. Natur-
ally he and I were very chummy.
Stewart and ! were the chief
amusement Promoters in the COM
p3ny, the Tommies constantly look
ing to us for some new diversion.
In the English Army a Tommy
seems to have the idea that an
Americans chief vocation in the
United States is to invent. and TO
keep on inventing. OF course, Stew
art and l did not in any way try to
dissipate this idea: in fact. We en-
couraged it, and took great pride
in being looked up to in this way;
but. believe me. it kept us hustling
to keep the Tommies amused.
1t was getting too warm for Soc
Ger Football. and we knew as soon
issue would be put right up to us:
How are you going to amuse us
while behind the lines?"
We were Americans. and red
blooded: spring was in the air, and
our thoughts turned TO what every
American boy is thinking of upon
the arrival of spring-baseball.
turned my eyes to the muddy
parados (rear wall of the trench)
and fixed my gaze on a fragment of
German shell imbedded in the mud.
Pretty soon this fragment seemed to
change into baseball player with
mask. protector and catcher's mitt.
He was crouching behind the home
plate and signaling TO the pitcher.
Just then Stewart said: Say. Emp,
I wonder If we could teach the Tom
mics how to play baseball?"
l Immediately turned in his direc-
ton. He was also staring at that
fragment of shell.
I answered: Did you ever try to
teach Chinaman how to speak
French?"
He got il right away and a defect
cd look spread over his countenance.
and he let out a long-drawn sigh.
A Tommy sitting on my right
5utted in with: Did you sye byse-
ball. Yank? Why, l saw a gyme in
London, and it is absurdly easy to
plye. but l cawn't sye I fawncy hit"
With look of disgust Stewart
turned to me and said: Il guess
you're right. Emp, it would be easier
10 teach the Chinaman French"
That night we were relieved and
went behind the lines.
The next afternoon, after parade.
r'e were sitting in an orchard drink
'Hs tea. About a month before
Stewart and I had taught the Tom
lies how to pitch horseshoes. There
vas great rivalry among the differ
ent squads, each squad having
team.
Just then Corporal Watkins came
over to us and asked, Where are
the 'orse shoes? I cawn't find EN-"
Another Tommy answered: "Strafe
me pink where are your h'eyes?
Cawn't you bloomin' we'll see the
h'off1cers usin' EN- be'ind that billet
over ther? Blime me. they're alw's
agummin' the gyme."
Sure enough. the officers were
using our horseshoes.
Stewart, with a look of depression
on his face. turned to me and said:
We'll. here goes, Emp. Steve Brodie
took chance. so I might be able to
get away with this
Then, turning to the Tommies. he
said: Did any of you blokes ever
hear Of John McGraw?'
Three of the Tommies. answered.
Yes"