The Washington herald., 1918-01-03
THE EVENING SERMON.

you try II on her for the first time.
II some Of you fellows went whole
day without cussing your wife, shed
phone for the doctor. II you want
your wife to be an angel. treat her
like one; not like q devil. Show her
that you have love for her. She'll
become young again. And the wrin-
kles around her eyes and the crow
feet will iron out. That old bent
form will straighten. and smile
will sweep over her face and you
will recall how she looked when she
was a blue-sashed maiden wander
ing through the grove. and you were
feeding her on gum drops and candy
hearts and licorice.
Gosh, think We have all fell for
that / know I have. II ! had never
loved. would want an undertaken to
embalm me and put me under the
ground. What Is the use Of taking up
room In the world II your heart Is In
capable OF loving7 Marriage may not
always result in the heaven you had
hoped Il would. and maybe half OF II
Is your fault. for all know. Love Is
something you can't quarantine; you
can't vaccinate: you can't warn; you
can't reason with. 1t Is q good deal
like lightning. You can't tell when or
where or whom II will hit.
Some young people were discussing
love. They were going to decide how
old a person should be before they
could fall In love. and they left II to
the grandmother, and they said,
Granny, how old should a person be
before they fall In lover" She said,
You'll have to ask somebody older
than me-" Somebody said to an old
maid. s. years old. Are you mar
ried?" She said, mot yet"
Recipe for Happiness.
Make your wife happy. She will
never grow old. You can make her
happy with religion. d plead for a
happy religion. Happiness Is the best
preventive for gray hairs and a
wrinkled brow. 1t beats q powderrag.
my friends, or hair dye. And the wife
who Is worth her salt Is worth prais-
ing. She would be, too, if~she had a
husband that was any account. 1t
would spoil q mule to be treated the
way some men treat their wives
Some men never hint that they love
their wife until they are a hundred
miles away, and then they send 1t
back on a postcard.
All some men marry for 10 to get
somebody to cook for them, patch
their clothes and darn their socks. 1t
is like an old farmer out in Nebraska.
He pulled his whiskers and said.
''Bill, didn't marry for love, and /
DIDN'T marry for money. and didn't
marry for good looks" 1 said, What
did you marry for?' He said, "welI,
my wife had the reputation of being
the best worker of any woman in this
part OF the country" said, II knew
a fellow down in Missouri that bought
a mule on the same recommendation" 4"
Men have done a good deal for
the world, but women have done
equally as much. IL not more. Many
a man wouldn't have amounted to a
hill Of beans If it hadn't been for
the little woman behind him nagging
him on to do something. Yes, how
thankful we ought to be that God
has made woman for US. And il
you haven'tfgot yours. it's not her
fault.
oh. We admire her for her beauty
and her wit; we respect her for her
virtue; and we love her, we'll, be-
cause we can't help it. Woman has
always been found in the forefront,
and the center OF everything good
and noble. II she is in the nire,
you bet your life. some brute of a
man pushed her there. 1 think the
man that deliberately plans TO de-
ceive, .seduce a girl and sell her as
a white SLAYER ought to be shot on
the spot.
Now, IL I was on the jury, the
ants would carry me through the
keyhole before I would free him.
That's the way 1 feel toward a fel-
low who will sink to sell the virtue
of a girl-demonize her. She has
always been the inspiration, bless
God, OF the world. from the max
ing of mittens and blankets for the
Eskimo and the making of MOSQUITO
nets for the Hottentots to going
without butter on her bread to send
the Gospel to one heather. and you
can't get into the second chapter of
anything good, that she is not there
with bells and spangIes on. No sir!
No sir!
Women should Handle Money.
And she has sold all the oyster
soup; she has baked all the beans
and all the sponge cake; and she
has kept the church steepIes from
falling down from Manhattan TO
the Golden Gate. God bless her.
She has run all the bazaars and all
the rummage sales. She has sold all
the concert tickets. and she has
kept the old Ship of Zion afloat. She
has taught US how to love, how to
pray. how to sing. and how to make
our homes a Heaven on earth, and
IL she had the handling of the mon
ey the devil would be on crutches
with both eyes out
That's why some of you fellows
look as though you had beans in
your shoes when she asks you for
ten cents. Now. you let your wife
have some money to do whatever
she pleases with it. without making
an accounting to you. and you give
her so much a week to run the
house. and then you give her what
is left over and when you are shy
she'll have some to loan you at six
per cent.
Say. take a tip from me. give her
a chance to know something about
your business, and when you die, some
good-for-nothing sharker won't ha q hla