Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-28
Gao RDs ND
DISC0RDs
BIFFS AND BOOSTS.

munications that have come to this
column in recent weeks, some compli-
mentary and others that are not. We
have decided to throw in the entire
lot, that our readers may know that
we are not afraid to let it be known
that We do not please everybody.
Dear Sir: l have said often that l
would write you to tell you that l
like your column 1t is particularly
welcome in these days when We have
so much of the gloom stuff printed in
the incorporation one page the war
and on another coal scarcity, etc. l
read it through every night and al
ways find some little thing that causes
me to smile. want you to know that
it is feature that is making the paper
popular. Yours, J. F.
My Good Friend: While all Of the
writings that appear In your column
are good, some are better than others,
and what enjoy most and get so lit
! tie of is your free verse. Why don't
you give us more of it? 1t has been
weeks since we had any, and in this
respect you are getting verse. if may
be allowed to spring pun OF my own
manufacture. O. G.
! Sir: You men who write funny COL
umns for the newspapers give me
pain in the ribs. l have been wading
through your rumblings for months
and have come to the conclusion that
you are using up lot Of valuable
space in these times Of the high cost
of print paper that could be put to
better use My criticism of the pa
pers published hereabout is that they
print altogether too much reading
matter. Gives us the news boiled
down, and it wouldn't be occasion for |
protest meeting of your subscribers
if you forgot to run your column about !
six days week. ] say this not to be !
harsh. 1t is my honest estimate of
the invaluableness of the stretch in |
which you honestly and heroically en- !
deavor to get your readers into JOY |
full mood before they retire at night. |
l hope you succeed with some. But !,
you don't do it with your Uncle .
Fuller. X. G. T.
]. NJ. c.: Among your contributors
my favorites are Pansy and Ignatz.
She is so cunningly sweet in the
things she says, and Ignatz, though
blunt, manages to put laugh in ev-
erything that he turns in. Won't you
some day print their real names?
fancy Pansy to be just young thing |
with both her eyes constantly open.
Is she not? AS to Ignatz. I'll bet he's
big fat fellow who laughs in his
sleep. Am l right? HELEN E.
Dear Sir: l don't claim to be hu-
morist, but I'll wager l could get up
column that would cause more mer-
riment than the one that you grind
out daily for your readers. Strikes
me lot of perfectly good things go
over your head. For instance,
haven't seen where you have said that |
now that General Bliss has arrived in
France, everybody is happy there
There are many other items that
have seen in the papers the past few
days that could be turned to account
as funnyisms, but right now they es
cape my mind. But it seems to me
If all l had to do was to put together
a column of writings to amuse my
readers l would manage to give bet
ter line Of goods than you have been
furnishing. You do pretty well, old
top, but not as we'll as you should
J.B.
Dear Sir: At our house there is a
fight for your paper every night. Now
what do you suppose the scrap is
about? 1t is to see which one of us
can get to your column first It's
great stuff, We are all agreed, and we
wouldn't subscribe for the paper If
that feature was omitted. When it
was announced that the price of the
paper was to be increased, father put
his foot down and declared he would
not stand for it, and would quit the
paper. Then when mother and I
asked him where he was to get his
evening smile, at first he said he
would buy it at the corner groggery,
but when we showed him that would
be more expensive than meeting the
subscription advance, he yielded, and
we have been living happily ever
since LIS.
Kind Sir: There is too much
grouchiness in your column. Let in
more sunshine. It's getting worse in
stead Of better. Let US have some
poetry like James Whitcomb Riley
used to write. G.F.D
Dear Friend: If it wasn't for the
high cost of postage / would send you
frequent contributions to brighten up
your column, for it certainly needs it
now and then. think of many funny
bits that would illuminate your space.
and some. day will bring you in a
bunch of them. They will be a riot,
Delleve me. TOM.
Old Pal: May not take my pen in
hand to convey to you my earnest
congratulations upon the great sue
cess that you are making Of your hu-
morous column? 1t is constant
source of joy in our household. Tol
be sure. now and then there is a uuip
that passes over our heads. but the
most Of them are understandable, with
the result that life is made the han
pier for having read them as we gath
er at the Preside these cold evenings
and try to forget the diminishing COAL
pile 1L.R r
My Kind Sir: have a son of II.
He used to turn to Goldberg when the
paper came every evening. Now he
heads for your column first. / fear
l