Evening star., 1918-04-15
THE OTHER ANGLE
This Liberty Loan,
ny K1Rx MILLER.

Of . goidnsh7
DID you sver know . rsveastns Gsof
to win any popularity coutssts or IN
elevator to gain any circulation OUT
side Of its own orbftf
Although . goldfish dsvotss his az
istsnos smirling as you from behind
! his g1ass garage, he never developed
much Of q borrowing acquaintance
outside Of his transparens voting pre-
cinct. He wtgEles away at the rate
Of about seventy wiEglss . minute
ana by the time he has wigg1ed his
nnAl wig. he's never been anywhere.
Marathon races and long-distanoe
nnning tournaments are nothing in his
vale Of celluloid collars and palm
beach suits. Nothingi
Which proves that there isn't much
difference between your goldfish. II you
pay taxes on one, and your gold dol
lars. II you have some. A goldfish 10
chronically cranking up as II he has
a destination. although he has no more
objective than q soap boz has archi-
lecture. II he ever did bust out OF
that cylindrical show window It's
pretty certain that he'd gyrate himself
into tho nearest rain spout and dash
out into the ocean and chase all OF
those U-boats right loose from their
knitting. But he can't evaporate from
the finger bowl SO he's got to Do q
non-cambatant. Easily!
Don't let your gold dollars be hnnan-
haddie, and don't let your pennies oe
shad roe. We know an elevator that
hasn't any speaking acquaintance out.
side Of the Washington Monument, and
we know a flock Of gyrattng doors that
are Grabbing a good many tournaments
because people will push them the
wrong way. Never rub a revolving door
against the nap, and don't live In the
same elevator shaft all of your life!
Because the goldfish is q crippled
herring is no reason that your bank
account should be exempt from the
draft, and the most stylish draft being
worn this spring is the one made out in
favor of the United States Treasury,
+. o. b. Washington.
Since the kaiser started short-chang-
Ing civilization and grew bun1ons
where he should have planted brains.
terrible piece of spaghetti. and Uncle
Sam has been called into the consulta-
ton room. He's decided to operate i'm
mediately and he wants all Of us neph-
eWS ana n1eCeS TO nelp Ouy
and anesthetics to cure the war.
That's the idea of the third liberty
loan-it was the purpose Of the second
liberty bonds, and the first issue was
foated with the same malice afore-
thought. We're going to inha1e these
liberty loans in tabit-formfng Quanti-
ties until the battle is healed on all
sides.
While statistics prove that it's going
to take lot of anesthetic to put the
F xyha "a OF
he's not a mushroom-he's toadstool
Of the poisonous variety. He's also
parasite net. and a piece of fungus
over all-that makes 1t unanimous.
in a or per cent aquarium like the
saffron-spangled fish. Let your cash
circulate at u per cent where It ts
mostly needed now. and II you don't
get It bacl<Itll be because you waited
so long that 1t grew barnacles where
1t should have sprouted battleships.
Mr.. McAdoo shouted something when
he dashed off that formula about pa
half so1es on your scufrers. Patches
on your palm beach and patches in
your back yard mean just so much
more food for the patriots who are
going to patch the western front until
Germany thinks she's at a quilting
party
Let's make silver non-skid handles
for kultur out of our silver dollars.
There's no use saving 'em up Tor old
age, for If we don't use 'em now we're
not going to have any. Our idea of
patriot is one who viii go broke for
democracy. and q good old patriotic
spree is not a misdemeanor on this
side of tho Atlantic.
If we're going to be relatives of
Uncle Sam let's don't be poor relatives.
While the kaisers sowing his wild
oats we'll save wheat and buy first
mortgages on freedom. The more buck
foy. hny IA g n
for the boche. Refrain from the career
Of an elevator and avoid revolving
doors, Buy liberty bonds, buy war
savings stamps-don't be goldfish.