davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
In THE PREvARlcAToRS' CLUB
Stories Told That Would Make Baron
Munchausen or Ananias Hang
Their Heads In Shame.

A Chicago packer was deriding the
lack of ingenuity in England as COM
pared with the inventive aptitude of
his own countrymen.
"Why," said he, "they tell me man
down In New Orleans has invented a
sausage machine. It's big sort of
tool, driven by steam. All You have
to do is to drive pig up plank,
through hole In the machine, and
five minutes later out come thousands
of sausagesw
'What becomes Of the hide?" queried
the solitary Englishman of the audi
ence.
1.-THE hide. sir?" retorted the Chicago
man. "Oh, that falls into another slot
in the machine and out come Glad
stone bags, purses, or, If you like,
shoes or saddles-merely a matter Of
turning a screw"
"Oh, Is that ALL" said the English
man. "We've used that machine in
England for the past thirty years.
What's more, we've improved on 1t.
Sometimes we found the sausages
were not up to our standard. Well,
what happened-all we had to do was
to put them back in the machine, re-
verse the engine"
go on - cried the American. "What
happened?"
"Out walks the pig as fit as I'D
die"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
WHY SHE COULDN'T SEE HIM
Hubby Didn't Happen Just at the Time
to BE in Wife's Line Of
Vision.

The young lawyer was defending
man accused of burglary, and the
woman whose house had been entered
was under examination.
Madame" asked he, what time OF
night was it when you saw the prison
er in your room?"
'.Close to two o'clock in the morn
ing" came the reply.
was there a light in the roomT
NO.
"Could you see your husband at
your side?"
"No."
The lawyer frowned impressively
and shot side glance at the jury as
he fairly Numbered: "Then pleasa,
madame, explain how 1t was you could
see the prisoner and yet not see your
husband?"
my husband" was the quiet an
swer, twas at the club"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Some Exceptions.

! Secretary McAdoo, in commenting
on the sales of War Savings stamps,
took occasion to remark upon the
splendid work done by the pretty mo-
tion-picture actresses.
.1t's a funny thing" he remarked,
"but know of hundreds of cases
where men had refused to buy stamps
from other men. but later bought them
from the screen beauties. heard of
one, however, who was an exception
Z "sWhy didn't you buy your War
Saving stamps from meT asked the
girl, and added. "some other girl was
prettier, supposeT
"'On the contrary, / bought mine of
a girl who was plain enough so that
] could get little credit for being a
patriot"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
LEMON JUICE
TAXES OFF TAN
Girls! Make bleaching lotion
if skin is sunburned,
tanned or freckled

Squeeze the juice Of two lemons into
a bottle containing three ounces Of
Orchard White, shake well, and you
have quarter pint Of the best freckle,
sunburn and tan lotion, and complexion
beautifier, at very, very small cost.
Your grocer has the lemons and any
drug store or toilet counter will supply
three ounces Of Orchard White for a
few cents. Massage this sweetly fra
grant lotion into the face, neck, arms
and hands each day and see how freck-
les, sunburn, windburn and tan disap-
pear and how clear, soft and white the
skin becomes. Yesi 1t Is harmless
ADV.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

For centuries GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil has been a standard household remedy
for kidney, liver, bladder and stomach
trouble, and all diseases connected with
the urinary organs. The kidneys and blad-
der are the most important organs Of the
body. They are the filters, the purifiers Of
your blood. If the poisons which enter
your system through the blood and stom-
ach are not entirely thrown out by the
kidneys and bladder, you are doomed.
WEAKNESS, sleeplessness, nervousness,
dependency, backache, stomach trouble,
headache, pain in loins and lower abdo-
men, gall stones, gravel, difficulty when
urinating, cloudy and bloody urine, rheu-
matism, sciatica and lumbago, all warn you
to look after your kidneys and bladder
All these indicate some weakness of the
kidneys or other organs or that the enemy
microbes which are always present in your
system have attacked your weak spots
GOLD MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules are
what you need.
They are not "patent medicine" MOI
"new discovery" For 200 years they
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Brigade Commander.

Brigadler is of course from com.
mon stock with brigade and means a
brigade's commanding o.lies-- The
source II brigade is tbs Eciieval
Latin noun brigada. FROM The Latin
verb brigade. to contend. hrigapd is
an oifshoot. DO not remind gour
brigadIer of this; 1t would be unkind,
also untrue. tShouId you run across
the German esaisaisni of a nrigadier
go rs far as you like.) The Italian
word is brigadiere and for brigade.
brga,a.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Remarkable sian.

Half way between camp and Prince
George Courthouse sign in little
dump of grocery and refreshment
store invites all beholders not to spit
on the floor. 1t is an ambitious sign
of two paragraphs, and the second one
says: IF you can't read this sign,
have some one else read it for YOU
The Bayonet.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Tin Hats.

This is told In London by a re-
turned British officer:
"One day my servant was struck
on the head by shrapnel and saved
from instant death by his steel helmet.
On coming round, this was his YER
dict: Shook me something 'orrible,
that did. I never did like them tin
ats ="
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Heal Baby Rashes

That itch, burn and torture. A hot
Cuticura Soap bath gives instant re-
lief when followed by q gentle appli-
cation of Cuticura Ointment. For free
samples address, "Cuticura, Dept. x,
Boston" At druggists and by mail.
Soap Is, Ointment rs and 60.--Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
How He Got Ry.

"What became of Piute Peter
asked the visitor at Crimson Gulch.
"He joined the army" answered
Broncho Bob.
''That he was too old to fight"
.He was. But he was such fighter
that nobody dast to tell him So"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

''The dog you seen spinning around
to catch his tail is Hooverizing."
'How so?"
Don't you see he is trying to make
both ends meet?"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

A man is a fool to be jealous Of a
good woman, and he is fool to be
jealous of a worthless one.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Knew Better.

The Girl-"England owns the finest
diamond in the world" The Fan
.'Go on! They don't play baseball over
there"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

The most successful men have me:
with a lot of argument.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Poverty may be all right as the
DRY, but practically it is all wrong.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Always the Way.

Mount--"How did that movie ven
ture turn out?" Seer-"Oh, as usual,
a film-flnm. instead Of flim-fam."
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Man proposes, woman disposes, and
the rest of the world says: II told
you So"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Groves Baby Bowel Medicine
aids Digestion, relieves Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea
apd Flnx. 1t Is Just effective for Adults as for
Children. Perfectly harmless.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Seeing isn't believing when man
can't believe his own eyes.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Captured American army and navy
officers are reaching German prison
camps without clothing and shoes. The
American Red Cross has established a
tailor shop in Berne to supply them
with proper uniforms, according to In;
formation just reaching the bureau Of
prisoners relief.
The officers, Ii seems, In being hus-
tied back from the front by their cap
tors lose their Overcoats, blouses and
even trousers. Frequently their leath-
en- shoes. which are greatly coveted by
the Germans, are taken from them. and
they are forced to wear wooden shoes.
The clothing Of others is so damaged
in strenuous fighting as to need re-
placement.
To outfit the forty commissioned.
Americans known to be in the German
camps and others who may be captured
later, the Red Cross purchased tall
or shop in Paris and moved tailors and
outfit outright to Switzerland. This
shop is now turning out each week II
uniforms made to measurements sup
piled by mail by the various prisoners
in the various camps. The men are
supplied also with underclothing, shoes,
toilet articles, towels and food. The
food is particularly necessary to sup,
plement tl.e meager prison fare for
which the Germans make the captured
officers pay In money.
The stripping of prisoners apparent,
ly takes place only at the front in the
heat and confusion of battle Campl
committees, appointed by the prisoners,
themselves. see that American prison,
ers receive supplies sent them.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13
Thrift Stanps.

Thrift Stamps.
Thirty-four million persons own
Thrift stamps. The total sales OF
these stamps, together with pledges
run up to S1,6oo,000000. The original
aim was to establish 100000 licensed
sales agencies. But a0S,0OO have been
established. More than 10000 So
cities are Systematically buying
stamps.
Good Chance.
"She's an angel. "
well, send her letter by aerial
mail. Louisville Conrier-Journal.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Appointments are turning to Ameri-
can wearing apparel, especially hosi-
cry, which. before the war. was
brought almost entirely from Germany,
They are free spenders and willing to
gay literally for what they wear.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

Camp Shelby, Miss. will be remodel
ed and converted from tent camp in
to a cantonment with permanent quar-.
tiers and camp utilities, at total cost
of S5,4G7.37S.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1918-09-13

The total value OF all imports into
the United Kingdom during the
first six months of 1918 were $3,173.-
S51.129; of exports. Sl.201. 211, 0S6.
For the same period Of 1916 the val
ues were. Imports. s2,3l0, 100, OBS; ex-
ports, $1.l76,75S,033. The submarine
hns not destroyed the commerce OF
Great Britain.
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
BARRIERS WILL BUY BONDS
Union Secretary Asks Them to Share Good Fortune With Gov
 ernment,

Union barbers in St. Louis. who re gently have been benefited by an in. crease in their wage scale, are being asked by F. A. Heller, secretary 4, Local No. 102, Journeyman Barbf International Union of America share their good fortune witkrts country.
 Heller is advising the more thN, 600 members of the local craft to ip vest some of their earnings in Liberty Bonds. Haircuts are now costing 35 cents.
 Under the new scale barbers are getting a guarantee of $16 a week and 6o cents on every dollar over SPA a week that barber takes in. The boss barbers, or shop proprietors, have inaugurated a higher charge on slaves and haircuts to meet the in creased pay of the men at the chairs.
 There can be no better investment than Liberty Bond," said Heller. q would like to see our men, who are now getting a share of the prosperity which the war has brought to some fields of industry, help our govern ment in turn. So I am telling them to divert some. of their earnings to Liberty Bonds,H
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
BOY SCOUT WINS HONOR
c. D. Wa;les, r, of Memphis, Sold More Bonds Than Any Other
 Scout in Town.

Boy Scouts did valiant service in selling Liberty Bonds of the first and second issues. Plans have been launched for the Scouts to sell many thousands more of bonds in the thira issue. Out of the army of Scouts ln America, c. D. Wailes, Jr., IT years old. of Memphis, FenRy has the dl$; dnction of having sold the largest number of bonds of the second issue
 Young Wailes has just received gpld medal given by the president oi the Nationsl Boy Scouts Council in New York te the Scout who sold the most bonds. The Memphis youth, syho is employed in a bank, sold i.asq bonds, valued at $445,oO0.
 Troop 2. Boy Scouts, Of which Wailes is a mefabar, won the state nag given by President Wilson for eellimg the largest amount of bonds. The troop ssld sS65,O0o in bonds.
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
LABOR AND CAPITAL UNITE
All Glasses Must Buy Liberty Bonds
 to Help Win the War.

We are face to face with the most critical situation in American affairs. The time has come when each indi- viduai, nc matter what his or her call ing. must do his utmost to help in winning the war to rid the world of German autocracy, to protect his home and the love of freedom, and to insure the coming generations that same freedom which is. so dear to every American citiSAn.
 In this cause there must be no class distinction; the laborer and cap, italist are equally interested and af. fected, and each must, for the time. forget self and stand shoulder to shoulder in helping the government in this crisis.
 A war cannot be conducted without money. Less than 10,000,000 people subscribed to the first two Liberty Loans. There ought to be 5o,o00, COG subscribers to the Third Liberty Lean
 Let us all put np a solid front of complete and determined, cooperation and see to it that the present Liberty Loan is fully and promptly subscribed
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
HE PINK A1D YFi:LLls.1l
 CARD FIXES STATUS
Both Indicate Siackcrs, Thcuch One Has Subscribed-Eut Not
 Enough.

Two cciors are going to figure prom inently in this Third Liberty Loan campaign, Yellow and Pink. Every person who is financially able to buy bond and who refuses will have his name recorded on the yellow card the stacker card
 In the last two campaigns for the sale of Liberty Bonds there were many persons who slipped quietly into their barKs and made a small purchase of Liberty Bonds, when, as a matter Of 1act, by reason of their financial abil- lty, they should have bought ten times as many bonds. Such individuals are considered by the federal government as slaekers, just as much as are those who can but will not buy any bonds at all
 In order to get permanent record Of persons of this character, the Fed eral Reserve Director of Sales of To va has sent to every county chairman a supply of pink cards, upon which the names will be recorded of such per sons as do not do their full duty-who do their Dit instead of their ut most"
 Thase pink cards will be carried by every Liberty Bond salesman, ard when an individual who ought to ouy a $l,000 bond will only buy a $50 bond down goes his name on the pink card These cards will be handled the same as the yellow cards--they will be re- Viewed by the county chairman and his executive committees. The indi- Vldual will then be given another op- portunity to increase his subscription to it's proper amount, and, failing in this, the cards will be forwarded to the Federal government for such ac ton as the Federal agents deem proper.
 Each state in each of the Federal Reserve Districts has similar plans, and no man may be a stacker without the knowledge of Uncle Sam.
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
WHAT WE CAN DO
Prominent Kentucky Educator Points
 Out Duty of American.
By FRANK l.. McVEY.

President University of Kentucky.
 There are a number of thines that we can do in this war. Some of us can do all Of them, Any of us can dc part of them. These things are:
 1. To enlist.
 2. To so in the draft.
 5. To work for the government.
 4. To buy bonds.
 D. To save food materials and money by buying bonds.
 Unless there are materials and food the men who enlist, who go in the draft, or who work for the government cannot be maintained. The means by which the government gets food and materials and pays wages is through the sale of bonds. This is the key, and when the government has the funds 1t eah go on with the war. If lt does net have them it's efforts must cease. The duty of the patriotic citi- zen is apparent
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
FARMERS URGED 7O
 BUY LIBERTY BONDS
Must Inconvenience Himself If His
 Country Needs Him.

An article recently published in some papers of the Central West gave an erroneous impression as to the part the farmer should play in financing the great struggle for liberty and world freedom. It suggested that the farmer should not borrow money with which to buy Liberty Bonds-that he should not inconvenience himself'' in lending financial support at this criti- cal time in the history of the nation
 This is no time to think of incon- Yenience at home IT inconvenience is to be the basis of thought, let the American farmer consider first the in- convenience of the boys on the firing line in France. At this particular time it is up to all Americans to make sac rifices. This is no time to think of comfortable financial circumstances and freedom from inconveniences, Tha government is at a great deal of in convenience. If the boys at the blaz- ing, thunder9Ns front are standing in muddy trenches dodsing shell splin- sers and Hun bullets and facing the terrible gas attacks, there is no red son why the farmer at home should not extend himself to help out.
 Don't think of inconvenience. Think of the inceAvenience and danger of your son. or your naighbo~'s son, at the front, and bay Liberty Bonds to the limit. Stretch your financial sya. tom to the breaking point. if need be, to support your government and the boys who are actually engaged in the business of fighting your fight.
 If you haven't the money at hand to do your full duty toward the fran, cause, go out and borrow it fre1a sfl,r hank-borrow so that yen play buy bonds until 1t hurts, foar financial support may be a measure 1s yoar practical patriotisr-and the Iation needs practical patriots at this critical period.
 Don't think of inconvenience-thin only of suecess>
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
WHAT A BOND WILL BUY
Even $50 investment Will Do Much for Some Boy lover
 "There."

When you subscribe to the next Li5- erty Loan you not only make a good investment, but contribute in a direct and practical way to feeding and equipping the army or navy.
 Here are few of the things even a small investment in the bonds will ac- coAplish They are taken from a list prepared by the Treasury Depart ment, and there are many others:
 One $50 bond will buy trench knives for rifle company, or 23 hand gren- ades, or A rifle grenades, or 37 cases of surgical instruments for enlisted ments belts, tor 10 cases of surgical instFuments for officers belts,
 4 NQO bond will clothe soldier, Or feed 8 soldier for eight months, or purchase five rifles or 30 rifle gren. ades, or 43 hand grenades, or 25 pounds of ether, or 145 hot-water bags, or 2,00O surgical needles.
 A $100 and $50 bond will clolhe and equip an infantry soldier for serv- ice overseas, or feed a soldier for a year..
 Two $100 bonds will purchase a horse or mule for cavalry. artillery CT other service
 Three SlOo bonds will elothe a sol dief aad feed him for one year in France, or buy motorcycle for a ma chine gun company
 Four s1C0 bonds will buy an X-ray outfit.
 One $500 bond will supply bicycles Tor the headquarters company of an infantry regiment.
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
WHY YOU INVEST ta BONDS
1t Is Easier Than to Pay iriDute 10 the Kaiser and His War
 Machine.

It took you Song tifae ts wake up to the war, but, now that the rItRisss German war machine is batterlng al fbe gates of Paris and threatening the llae of communication from England to France, yea gre beginning to realize that Araerica asse Is Iaenaceo.
 Failure to support the seyegaaitpsssinE' which means failure to back the army in Francs, would bring disaster ana shame upon every American citizen
 Invest in Liberty Bends and receive the interest on your money saa a llnai return of the principal or you Wiii pay tribute to the Kaiser and get noth' ing in return.
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
DAHK DEPOSITS HOT
 DEPLETED BY LOANS
Despite the Fact That Billions Have Been Invested in Liberty Bonds,
 an Increase Is Shown.

There is in some sections fear on the part of the banks that Liberty Loan subscriptions will tend toward a material decrease in bank deposits.
 To offset this fear the following summary of the statement of the Comptroller Of Currency, dated April 15, 1918, should correct this impress sion.
 This statement, naturally, applies only to national banks, but is doubt less also true of state banks and trust companies.
 On March 15, 1917. the total depos. it's of national banks were $12,957,. ooo,ooG, or nearly 13 billions.
 In spite of the sale of Liberty Bonds since that time of $5,880, 100000, or about six billions, the deposits in na. tional banks on March 4, 1918, show an increase of s1,4SO, ,5s9, ,ooO, or near, ly one and one-half billion. as com. pared with March 5, 1917.
 The total amount of Libtyty Bonds owned by national banks on March 4, 1918, was $433, ,00O. This is less than $500.
 This amount of Liberty Bonds owned by national banks on March 4, 1918, is only about 7h per cent of the total of the first and second Lib. erty Bond issues.
 These facts should be given by the directors of publicity to all banks in their localities.
 It is the most accurate and forcible evidence of the effect upon bank de posits of the Liberty Bond sales
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
WILL BACK UP TIE
 BOYS AT THE FRONT
Written for the Liberty Loan Orgsn- zation of the Eighth Federal
 Reserve District.

By MILDRED s. McFADEN. we are backing up the boys at the
 front, Our soldier boys. the flower of our
 youth,
 Who answered Freedoms call And are gladly giving all For liberty, for justice and for truth. We are working for our heroes at the
 front, Who nobly bear the brunt of shot
 and shell. For, backed by love untold, And bullets made of geld, They will rescue all the world from
 German Hell. We are backing up our sailors on
 the sea, So gallantly a-standing by their guns, Mid perils of the deep Where deadly U-boats creep To do the baneful bidding of the Huas! We are backing up our birdmen at
 the front, Whose dauntless souls no sense of
 fear can know. Patrolmen of the sky, Der hostile lines they fly To guard the guns on firing line"
 below. We are backing up. our service at
 the front, Where toll of pain doth mark each
 victory won, That nurse with Cross of Red May hover o'er each bed To soothe and comfort every mothers We are backing up our colors at the
 front, Old Glory shall never brook disgrace o lift it high and higher, That its message may inspire A spirit of world-freedom for the race To back our allied forces at the front Is the urge of our Liberty Loan
 campaigns. Each Liberty Bond we hold Is handicap of gold To bind the Beast forevermore in
 chains. Bring yoVr tithes into my store
 house." Freedom calls, Make every hoarded dollar do it's
 share;
 With patriotic thrill And zeal of Bunker Hill Roll up millions for the boys lover
 there"
Cleveland County herald., 1918-05-02
KEEP THE WIaDMILL GOING
Investing in Liberty Bonds Keeps ths Governments Machinery
 in Motion,

livery farmer has seen a windmill Millions of farmers own one or maybe two. And every farmer knows that windmill can't go without wind There IS an old-fashioned expression about raising the wind," meaning that enc is raising the money for some venture.
 Uncle Sam is raising the wind at this time for one of the biggest jobs he eyer has had on his hands It is up to all of us to help out The pur- chase of Liberty Bonds will make cer- tain the turning of the machinery that will defeat the common enemy.