Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-12-12
Making the Most.
of Our Children
Ray O. Beery, A. B., Nj. A.
President of Parents Association
Is Your Child Becoming an
Autocrat?

AutOcrat!
! T.. We have seen that autocratic gov
ernment is bad for nations. 1t is
equally bad for homes.
In fact, the desire on the part OF
selfish adults to rule others arbit-
rarily, and on a large scale, starts
with the childish habit of command
| ing others in the family.
Children early must lie taught that
they cannot expect everything for
which they ask and that the dtten-
| ton they can command of others
| has certain limits. Of course, we
want our children to have square
deal but we do not want them TO be
unreasonable.
Let us take a concrete case. A
mother writes to me.
My three-year-ol boy is docile
most of the time and sometimes he
| is so very wilful For example, to-
| day, when 1 said, Come on Max,
| you want to grow big and strong
like the soldier boys, so let's take
nap" he began to cry and said,
Il don't want to take a nap" l
en- said, would you like mother
, ~ sing?" He said he would, but
hadn't sung more than two words
| when he announced, "I don't want
I you to sing. l want drink. I had
| just given him one but 1 got him
I,another and set him back in my lap.
Then he wanted to get into his,
~beddie" and then he wanted me to
rock him, but. as 1 had my dishes to
do, said, Look here, Max, mother
| did rock you and you wanted to
come to bed. Now you musts try
to go to sleep here like soldier and
I'll play a piece for you on the Edi-
SON." He cried and cried and di-
rectly 1 stopped the music and he
said, Il want to hear the music,
etc.
Your little son evidently is start
ing out to rule your home in regular
autocratic style.
1t is a mistake to try to reason
with a child as young as yours about
something you want him to do. OF
! course, after he has consented to
do what you request then there is
no objection TO making him feel
good by talking about how the SOL
dier boys do. But it really is better
not to try to make an appeal by tell
! ing what the soldiers do and then
say, so let u.s." This puts up to
him too much. He feels that if he
would rather not go to sleep he does
| not need to.
If you didn't care whether your
child took a nap or not, it would be
all right to ask him whether he
wanted to and if he didn't then say
no more about it. But you certainly
| have decided definitely that it is best
! for him to take nap. Then, the ma
tural thing to do is to let him realize
! this by the use of the fewest words
possible: Simply insist upon this
! without the least suggestion to the
+! contrary. Children are exceedingly
quick to detect the slightest sign of
weakness.
When your child started to cry
and said, Il don't want to take a
nap" you should not have paid the
least attention to his remark. To
ask him if he wouldn't like for you
to sing to him shows him that he can
work you. When he tells you to stop
and you stop, he delights in his in
! creasing power and ability to COM
mand you. Children love this sort
of attention.
| w men q CnllQ asks Tor q uflnk art
er some time has passed since he
| drank, offer him a drink at once,
but if he asks Immediately after
wards, you can be sure he simply
wants needless attention. Never give
him this kind. Just ignore requests
that are unreasonable.
When your boy wanted to get out
! of bed, it would have been better not
to go to the trouble of explaining
to him that you had just been rock
! ing hims All such explanation is
unnecessary and unwise. Your ac-
tions always speak louder than
words, therefore do not use many
words. Let him understand quietly
and very clearly that he is to stay in
| bed.
| Never let your child influence you
| to- change a decision by crying or
talking. When you carry out the
policy in regard to sleeping, he may
cry hard for a time or two. but
don't make the mistake. of reward
ing him in any way, and after he has
taken his three or four good cries
on consecutive days, he will discon-
tinue 1t as naturally as can be.
Play with this little fellow en-
thusiastically-get him TO like you.
Then show him clearly what you ex-
I - l. 4.