Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-04-27
The OTHER ANGLE
Earthquakes
War crabs everything
BY KIRK MILLER.

War crabs everything.
No matter how many whiskers con-
stitute a bolshevik quorum, it's getting
SO it's hard to keep the earthquakes on
peace-time rations. A day Is no longer
twenty-four hours unless the earth
quake administrator tries to rattle US
away from our futures at least once.
and the bird who ladies out the earth
tremors seems to be fully cognizant OF
the fact that he's got an extra sixty
minutes in which to do the chore.
Chessir, earthquakes. are quaking on
schedule and a little ahead, but we
wish they'd inherit this skip-stop menu
ana not SILVER so oftenish. In the good
old days earthquakes came In solos, Dut
now II an earthquake isn't duet IL
triplets, and three or four nobD1sh nttle
quakes decorating the American .eI ).
for lodging shell craters and German
made IninenNerfer.
One helping Of earthquakes seems to
call for a dozen encores. according 70
the new etound rules. and an earth
quake that doesn't drag along his wife
and little chilblains has as lmucn
chance in this war-spangled cosmos az
one apple in an orphan asylum.
If the earthquake commissioner can :
serve us with an entire regiment OF
afraid Of being pinched for boarding
and aims 'em at us through one OF
those long-range beanshooters ne cay :
ries In his hipmost pocket.
perform remind you of a school of por-
pofses at leisure. Out in California
where the Pacific and Barbary coasts
merge, a playful earthquake made two
mountain peaks shorter and third
one taller. which Is. pretty clever Tor
%1a$ h h a n
any previous experience. We won't be
satisfied until we lamp an earthquake
which will make cream sprout on the
bottom of the milk and make the tele-
phone girls pronounce nine IN one
syllable After that. we'll vote the
straight nonagenarian sticket and
admit that brown derbies are no worse
than trench coats, and that a coolies
growl is not any more serious than his
bite. Easily.
If some pro-American earthquake
would condescend to waste its fragrance
along the Rhine and tear Won linden
burg away from his boots. then they
could take his oxfords and present 'em
to the kaiser for loving cups
If you want to know what an fnsfd-
ious effect that late earthquake had on
Washington just take one long, deep
inhale at the Billy Sunday Tabernacle.
While Billy was turning 'em away last
winter that bungalow was tabulated
among the shortest Office buildings In
the western hemisphere and Swamp
oodle, but the earth fluctuations
shrunk it into hut where they dis
pense liberty. democracy and freedom.
and vaccinate you against kultur and
kaiserism. 49,.
To take a tabernacle and give it the
dignity Of a hut is a mean thing for
an earthquake to do without the Gus
tomary thirty days notice. but it's no
worse than some of the wishy-Wash-
|ington landlords who are giving their
tenants the privilege of buying their
homes. paying 10 per cent more In
heritance tax or evacuating in toto.
That's what we call charity beginning
away from home and staying out all
night.
The earthquake has rent some other
serious gaps in our mole which the
strict censorship Of war times prevents
US from divulging. Anyway, some OF
em would be hard to verify, as the
peculiar atmospheric conditions Of this
island Of skiptopia make the verifca-
ton quite difficult to capture. and there
fore very scarce for the wholesale trade
Might as we'll!