The Bridgeport times and evening farmer. (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1918-1924, 1918-03-28
Danburian Pens Letter In
Reply to "The Abdica-
ton of SATAN
CONSIDERATION BY
SATAN rs PLEASING
Wilhelm Compliments Ruler
of Neither Regions Upon
His Wisdom

Cd(iOA ny odIdu VI Ills oCepISE 1uu
his sway over the neither regions" in
favor of the kaiser, was published
throughout the country, recently. E.
c. Campbell, of the faculty of the
Danbury High school, has composed
for Kaiser Wilhelm, an acceptance
of Satans scepter, and the letter was
published a few days ago in the Star
Gazette, of Elmira, N. Y. The letter
follows:
Berlin, Germany.
To His Satanic Majesty, Lucifer H.,
Internal Region:
Dear Mephisto: It is with no mea-
ger satisfaction that I receive your
abdication in my favor. I am especial
ly pleased that you have been brought
to this step on your own initiative
without suggestion from me. 1t only
proves your wisdom in divining the
future welfare of your empire, and
yet 1 must confess that your action
occasioned me no great surprise. /
have been anticipating this juncture
and at one time even contemplated
requesting you to transfer the su-
preme command to me, so you can
appreciate what great delight your
voluntary resignation has afforded
me. I accept the forked stick with
1 deem it a signal honor to succeed
you.
Let me summarize our situation. l
fully appreciate your past services
and pledge you to continue consecra-
ton to our aims You have done well
In my alchemists who have devised
criminal agents of destruction I rec
ognize your knavish inspirations; my
mechanic inventors are displaying a
genius that perfectly reflects your ex-
ecrable art; your processes of cruelty
and barbarism are being evidenced
more and more in the acts of my vass-
al chiefs. You have been conducting
our campaign against the Red Cross
in a most capital manner. In the
hearts of the U-boat commanders you
have instilled that merciless, unre-
lenting spirit which means consum-
nation of horror. Good! In nu-
merous mastery ways you have caus-
ed our diabolical principles to tri-
umph. So far, then, credit and glory
to you!
But as you must have perceived by
the tone of my Introductory remarks
I have some adverse criticism to Of
fer. Since I have assumed the lead
ing role in our affairs, wish to come
to frank understanding. You have
in several instances been Sinking. 1
refer specifically to the camouf1age
department. You have plunged di-
plomacy into an almost irretrievable
state. When I entrusted my politi-
cal liars Zimmerman, Won Bernstorff
and Won Luxburg, to your care 1 did
so without the least concern for their
proper training. You neglected
their education sadly, or else you mis-.
judged Uncle Sam. What, in hell,
was the matter? Henceforth 1 shall
take charge of all important lying my
self. This incident strengthened my
fear that your wiles were weakening.
You must bear the blame, for just
them I was turning my personal at
! tention to Russia. And isn't my
recent success conclusive proof of my
| proficiency?
You permitted England to institute
| air reprisals. This 1axity grieved me.
| Then why did you fail to dissuade
| America from conscripting an army ?
| Another slip-not your usual eff
cheney, Lucifer. Lucifer! you should
! never have released thus your press
ure on the pacifsts. Now I shall
have to hasten military operations to
repair the damage. The least repara-
ton YOU can make is to exert all
your beguiling energies in Scandina-
via. And you committed a most abom-
| Unable offense against hell when you
suffered the enemy to provide protec-
ton against the submarine. That
was the slip that just about exhausted
my patience in your leadership
Mephisto. These and many more
stupid omissions merit your severe
| render fastened down my censure. AT
all events, I intend, with the mailed
fist, to retrive all.
Is it possible that you do not realize
the extent of our compact, or do not
! have a clear conception of my aims
You declare me a puzzle. Horned
| Hun! where lies your vision? Yet
comprehend you, even. have failed to
grasp my designs. I am confident
that I can depend on you not to di-
| vulge secrets that might work harm
| to our common cause. Therefore, ]
| reveal to you my plans in their full
ness. You have me fairly we'll analyz-
ed, but your vision of the ultimate is
| dimmed.
How I have exulted at my craft in
| deception and intrigued Don't I come
| within an ace of winning the Nobel
prize? I'll have it yet, too; much OF
the earth is still willing to believe
that am earnestly striving for peace
My proposals, all with impossible
terms, have the primary object, as
you know, of forcing rejection by the
enemy and thus convincing my credu-
lous serfs that they are struggling fol
the defense of the fatherland. I car
work this indefinitely, for I make q
practice of sending to the front
trenches all conscientious objector,
among the soldiery. In this way the
troops are kept intact in militaristit
ideals and some day can turn then
to good advantage against the revolu.
tionry faction styling themselves so,
cialists.
beg you to note I duped the Boil
sheviki. For strategic reasons de-
sired to transfer several divisions o.
troops and some needed guns! I con.
Glued an armistice. Russia must col.
lapse completely. She is not to be
crushed so much by Germany as b,
Russia Internecine processes that
have instituted shall work havoc. The
Ukrainians have become my accom-
plices to this desired end. What, next
Rumania shall succumb. Serbia. too
/ Continued on Page 15.)