Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-05
SKINNER MACK WRITES TO HIS GIRL AND
TELLS HER ABOUT LIFE WITH THE. ARMY

Camp Cody, N. NJ, Jan. 3.-Dearest:
A fellow in our battery censured me
because I,let my letters to you get in
print, and said it was not exactly the
decorous thing to do, but / told him
you talked about them anyhow, and
what was the difference, as you work
in a telephone Office and have nearly
as much circulation as newspaper.
l have to write to somebody, and
that is why pick you out.
You see, my other girls have left
me because l now do not make but
30 bucks a month, and it is no pleas
ure for a girl to 60 out on party and
have to split the tariff fifty-fifty; and,
besides, l have to be in every morn
ing at reveille, which is at 5 a. m.
l guess l am better off, at that, for
fellow who is in the army and has a
girl is usually in q pickle, as he is
always apprehensive over the question
OF whether or not she is going out
with some fellow while he has to stay
Al SohiPS VI 10 buGy II lh6 W uuSh
some drill so he can go out and tele-
phone her, or is sneaking away from
camp trying to meet her, and being
caught and put on kitchen police,
which is thing Sherman overlooked.
A girl can keep a soldier in more
hot water than a bad service record,
but the fellow who does not have a
girl to cause him all the tribulations
that follow in the heels of an up-to-
date love affair that is firing on all
four cylinders, makes good soldier
and after while will get to be cor
poral, or something, and draw two or
three extra bucks per month.
l write you all this stuff, dearest,
because / have to write to somebody
l get SO blue in the army that some
times think will go up to the brig
adler general and say: Hello, Brig
Cyl" and end it all.
But then l no more than get good
and blue than some fellow in our COM
pany gets cage from home, or the
brass band parades by. or something
on that order.
It is always like that in the army
things happening that you don't ex-
pect or want. If 1 ever find out that
the army is only bad dream after
when wake up.
Well, will soon have a degree in
kitchen policing, as | am getting. more
efficient every day. l can now speak
to a loaf Of bread and it falls into
slices. l can speak tersely to a dish
rag, and it will wiring ITSELF The cap.
tain said the other day: III you keep
On you will be in the kitchen when the
building rots down." I told him that
it would not long before the building
did rot down, as already scrubbed a
hole in the kitchen floor.
There is another fellow who is run
ming a close race for honors in the
kitchen, and his name is Jack Morri-
son, and Johnny is a sure bird. John
ny and l take turns about in securing
out the kitchen and peeling potatoes
which are known in the army as spuds
but l know some other names thai
would fit them better. Jack and l are
two unfortunate and neglected neph.
ews of Uncle Sam. He does not treat
us any better than the hired help.
Jack Morrison is an interesting cuss
whenever you can get him out OF thu
kitchen long enough to observe him
! He is little, thin fellow The army
is knocking the meat off of him ant
making him thinner. He says this II
because the army Is making him Ion,
for home.
He can initiate Charley Chaplin, ant
yodel, and play the piano, and do mos
everything. He is regular cup-up
He is SO frisky and full of life that h
cannot keep out Of trouble. He makes
everybody else in the camp laugh, also
but his life is nothing but tears on &C
count of his always being in hot watel
because of some mischief on other.
J / think he is Irish. or something, al
you ought to be able to judge by hi
name, which is Morrison, and which
I do not think any wop could weal
with any degree OF personal security
He enlisted as an ambulance drive
and later WIS made first sergeant
clerk, but / think he will be cool
before the war is over. as he is to-
busy with potatoes to learn anything
else.
One day there was an inspection be
ing made, and severe captain wa
doing the inspecting We had to hav,
our mess kits out for inspection
Jack. being as he had duties there
was back In the kitchen and did no
know about the inspection until tn,
rest OF the soldiers had lined up fol
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