The Washington herald., 1918-07-20
By DWIc
1----

New York, July 00.-He Is a VOL
luminous talker. At the New York
banquets he is always the chief
speaker-soaring on and on like an
Arkansas Senator speaking for a
800 appropriation for his district.
He owes his success in life entire
ly to his humor sense and not to
his personality OF features.
His face is long. like that OF n
horse, and is wrinkled. like that of
a blood hound, and his figure is as
commanding as a back door soap
salesman. Yet he mingIes with the
literati society and is welcomed in
Bohemia. He has an expensive
apartment, a Jap svaIet and all the
little trappings Of the rich.
He came out of a railroad-lcss
county in the middle West and his
parents were poor. So far as the
records show he has never he'd a
steady job. He does not driak or
frequent the stage back-doors. He
is just a big, loveable. homely. hu-
morous type.
Mingling with the rich he has had
many tips on the markets that
proved valuable. Borrowed money
made the speculations possible. He
has made shrewd investments.
His only asset is that he is good
company" People like to have him
around. A party never grows stale.
In perhaps no other city could he
live so well just because he has a
sense of humor but he can do it in
New York.
Nearly every small community has
its character who lives without
working and lives well. No one
seems to know how he does it. This
New Yorker applied the same prin-
-clples to a larger community and
got rich at 1t.
The outrageous necessity for SOL
diers of the American army giving
hat.check slackers tips for holding
their military caps while lunching or
dining in New York hotels has been
checked. Three hotels have banished
the tip where a military man is con-
cerned. and it is probable that in
another week all of the other first
class hotels will stop it. One soldier
on three weeks leave told of having
to pay half of his months salary for
hat tips around New York cafes and
hotels.
These are days of great confusion.
But one. thing Is certain. New Ro-
chelle-which gained fame as being
IS minutes from Broadway-has a fire
department that is efficient. Aside
from being efficient he is a nice fell
low. Read this from the New Ro-
cheile Star:
"A spark which fell on the roof of
Goldstein's garage yesterday was
checked by the fire department. No
damage was done"
You cannot believe anyone anymore.
Even the beavers at the New York
Zoo seem 10 be tainted with Prussian
deceitfulness. One day last week the
beavers worked like beavers for "a
hours piling UP a strategic reserve
of sticks handy to the beaver dam
in the park. According to this. New
York was in for a hurn-dinger of a
storm. Nothing could stop it. The
beavers never failed before to pre-
dict storm within three days in
this fashion. New York had a week
of perfectly fine weather without even
a trace of dark cloud.
The srowler is silenced for the
duration of the war. Along Sew
enth avenue where the front steps
are nightly crowded with knights
of the Can the blow has fallen heav-
lest. 1t was on Seventh Avenue that
the great and historic discovery was
made that "sreasing" the inside of
the can would make a growler hold
less foam and more beer. The dis
coverer was a simple italian laborer.