The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-08-02

on some old clothes and run down
and meet me on the quiet. Wen
have a good dinner and then well
get machine and go out and smear
little red paint around. How about
it?
I'll be delighted to join you,
Jack" was the reply. But why not
come up to the house and get me?
There's nobody home"
AS the young husbands name is
Tom, he spends his evenings at
home now.
And his wife wears a queer smile
when he isn't looking at her.
Il suppose. Eileen. the housewife
remarked to the new girl, who
fetgned indifference. that you over
heard my husband and me convers-
ing rather earnestly this morning.
hope, however. that you did not
think anything unusual was going
on?, IL
''Niver a bit. mum. OF wanst had
husband maself AN n!ver a day
passed that tn neighbors didn't be-
lave one or the other NV US would
be kilt entoirely."
Now. Lieutenant Tompking," said
the general, you have the battalion
in quarter column. facing south
how would you get it into line. in the
quickest possible way, facing north
east?" s
well. sir" said the lieutenant,
after moments fruitless considera-
ton, do you know. that's what I've
often wondered" "
=, In south side street of this city
lives a woman who, for optimism
and homely philosophy, takes rank
with Mrs. Wigs Of the we'll known
and justly famous Cabbage Patch.h
This woman. with her husband and
family, was seated at the dinner
table one day not long since, when q
knock came to the door, and friend
called.
Won't you come in for d.nner?n
the housewife invited.
oh, no. the caller answered, you
have such a large family yourself IL
would be a shame to put you to extra
trouble"
oh" was the CHEEKY reply. "one
more don't make a bit of differences.
All have to do is TO put another
cup Of water in the stew" Youngs-
town Telegram.
Have you ever borrowed any
money from Blithering?"
No"
I've been acquainted with him for
some time. believe I'll ask him to
lend me So"
Il wouldn't If 1 were you"
why not?"
ITO my personal knowledge Glith-
ering has had the same umbrella for
six or seven years. II he can hold
on to an umbrella like that, you'd
have a fat chance to separate him
from So"
Il never hear you criticis!ng your
neighbors?"
Il haven't the heart to do IT," an
swered Mr.. Dubwaite.
Most extraordinary"
Not at all. The only neighbors /
know well enough to criticise have
two sons in France, and feel IL my
patriotic duty to gloss over any
little imperfections they may have"
Norah was a new servant girl in
the employ Of the Browns. and
hardly had she been "a hours on this
job before she had the misfortune
TO drop a piece Of roast beef on the
floor.
Norah thought it a part of Wis
dom to consign It to the garbage
can.
I think, Norah," remarked Mrs,
Brown, rambling into the kitchen
later in the day, that we will have
some Of that roast beef cut cold for
supper"
Sure, an Dim sorry. ma'am.a
responded Norah, contritely. But
the cat got it when OF wasn't looks
in"
THE cat got it," exclaimed the
mistress. What cat?"
Gee, whizz. ma'am!" rejoined
Norah. Amt there no cat?"
An Irishman, who had recently
come over was looking at the head
lines in the paper. Are you d
patriot?'' Pat riot is it?" says lles
''begobs, Pat is me furrust name and
Riot hits me where iive-just count
RE in an let me know when an
where the foight begins"
Who's that woman you just
bowed to-"
"Our next door neighbour"
"She didn't return the bow"
"No. she never returns anything