davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

ihl, the rich have to 'kimp occasionally
or they wouldn't he rich
OF course a Princess won't believe il,
But more OF the girls who married for
money arc happy than the girls who
married for love.
Why shouldn't the w.mmen folks or
ganile batalions II they choose to2
They are always in arms they are grea,
at charging, and they are not bit
afraid Of powder
When YOU see shabby little man who
looks Ike a starved mouse on the street
with an extensively dressed woman
who looks like drum major you can
tell who is the Better Half IN that home
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
TRUST THE WEATHER.

THERE are times when the weather man seems an
obduate individual and meteorological conditions give
ths patient hubandman ingrown Crouch This being
tns Is encouraging to note that the city will be in
psson to supply the needed moisture when passing clouds
III to deliver But should hesitate to plant garden
Because Of dread Of arid days TO 1t is we'll to ir(-
aste possible when the occasion demands it, but this
no desert region where planting should hesitate for lack
d irrigation facilities Certainly there will be rain enough
% produce considerable yield and there may be sufficient
ios he season Remember the gardeners risk at most
h small and that farmers with large crops involved rel,
whslly on the rainfall for the needed moisture If yor
ssst already in this garden game get in without fuhe
Iso6hy
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
'Sape the Waste and Win the War
BUY MORE THRIFT STAMPS.

VlyE DWELL In favored region blessed with surpass
w ing prosperity Of which the varied evidences are seen
On every hand fat land far removed from the destruction
and desolaon Of war is ours but for all these present.
slessant conditions we part Of nation engaged in
vital struggle All that have and aud hope TO be
hinges quite definitely on the Of that struggle To
bring the war home TO such region thousands OF
miles Of land and sea Is difficult but must be done The
announcement that Oklahoma county is falling thousand
dollars day below It's quota Of thrift stamp purchases
10 proof that all aroused TO the importance OF the
crisis which eoniron,s
That is the only explanation for such laSy; the only
pjausbe way to account for delinquency in this patriotic
service For at heart the people Of Oklahoma are loyal
nd patriotic They have proved this in many ways and
ey should not cast the shadow Of doubt upon that loyalty
b. failing the nation in any service asked They will not
ii u the imperative need be properly impressed upon
ther minds To that end let all who are awake exert
themselves to inject new vgor into this savings stamp
campaign The bitter truth that the whole state is behind
s proper place in these investments sorry shortage which
should be promptly overcome.
The call OF the nation Is paramount OF course, but II
may help some to bear in mind that this call Of the nation
also carries its reward for the individual and the state
This is money you asked to give but to loan on
excellent security The money is here and the country
has righteous claim on it, Do not call yourself good
American II you withhold from such fund the amount you
might put in 1t i, little enough to do at such time, anC
sscker dollars have less excuse even han those unspea
able creatures who seek to dodge the draft TINS vol
NhU matter, and duty 50 plain that all should see
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

tain to draw the line at vhisker, and
big feet
la bunko man had as hard a time
ioolng other men az he has foollng hiS
wife Ne would starys 20 death
When a man brings horne bundle
md puts il aside and doesn't unite a.
the reason why his vile doesn't have a
kitten IN until she sees what Il contains
is because small boy spends forty
minutes ',-ubb.ns his ears every morn
ing
a man knows a million good reasons
why a girl should be his vile before he
marie, her Bu, after he marries her
he can't think Of one
Isn't It funny how a married mar
ike, TO hold l9-pound girl and how
he hate, to hold a lS-Pound boy,
Nine women out OF ten do not know
a blame thing about mathematics But
when 1t comes to making their figures
count they make male algebra experts
look like blind Eskimo babies.
A baby has more sense that Il gets
credit for When Father starts singing
to the baby the baby stops bawling SC
Father will soon stop singing
Far be it from uS TO say that girls
are not modest nowadays But wher
they get goods for a summer waist they
buy mosquito netting and then punch
holes in the material 10 make the view
clearer.
When YOU do a thing regularly It IS
habit but when the other fellow does q
regularly it is vice.
You can't make the poor understan,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Horse Ease.

Ease the horses into the heavy WORK
don't throw them in A sore shoul-
der makes an inefficient and unwilling
haulcr, often leads to viciousneSs ~
well as TO chronic sore shoulder, which
cannot be reduced without an opera
uon. Come TO think Of il, the manure
,prcadcr is one Of the hardest Juggling
tool, on the farm A little OF it goes
long ways with a soft horse Civ
ing the horses an hour the first day,
two the second. three the next and so
on will better enable them to stand the
irksomc labor in store for them--FarIs'
Lie
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
A Snt1icAl Opefation.

cob ! am so grateful that you came
so quickly in response to my call, doc
tor said the youRg bride
Well said the physician, smiling
iato the pretty face, 81 am only too glad
to do So particularly as you said it was
so urgent
YES, doctor, it is" she replied
Some unexpected guests have come
and the butler hasn't turned up as he
promised And as | know YOU are &C
customed to killing things, ! wanted to
ask you It YOU would kill a couple OF
chickens for me"-Lades Home Jour
nal
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Old Sfor,ies
izNeWI,1Hape, WI,1
rom ne ZmeS TYlsS

Twenty Years Ago.
Last night a sleet fell which will prob
ably finish the work OF injury TO ihe
fruit buds. caused IN the past twenty
four hours by a drop OF forty degrees.
in temperature
The Rock Island has begun wosk on
a new stone depot at III Reno
The public schools Of ~ Reno have
donated 20 the Kansas City stars
Cuban relief fund
That Maine board Of inquiry report
will monkey along until It arriyeb
about the time Of the city spring eleeN
ton and the people can't 90 to war
until they vote
Fifteen Years Ago
There will be a meeting Of The Pio-
neer Girls club thi, afternoon at the
home Of Miss Eda Wand
There were fully twenty-five men at
work yesterday in ClaSSen's West High
land addition citing out shade trees
along the newly plated roadways
K S Sparrow Of Pawhu'ka who i'
interested in the Oklahoma Packing
company. has purchased for 5000 NJ.
J.. Blackwclder's residence ON West
Fourth street and will move his family
20 this city
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

The pope is a peaceful man. but peace talk is wasted
q the allied nations while the Hun at the gate Better
rd wpr with s It's devastation than that such monster
= The kaiser should be permitted to triumph, left with
partial victory to plan his onslaught the world
Haigs stand the western front is the British answer
10 peace proposals now and the allies in accord
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

The Laughter Undertaking company
isn't a musical comedy !, is a real
honeN-,o-g goodness funeral directing es-
labhShmcnt in Abiline. Texas
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Merely a Suggestion.

II VIII Drinkard wants 10 live up 20
his name he had better leave the Nash
willie branch Of the Club and &c, a trans
fer to a branch in some wet state
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

It's fine cheer 70 the boys In camps,
And say. the country needs them
But the patriot who buys Thrift stamps
IL the patriot who feeds them.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
The Hunter

1qlT-
We len him out whore the horse wsfts
grow.
We spoke of snlpe-hs wanted 20 know
lie stood with the sack ln ne pale ulcr-
light
But nary snIps dId ne baE that night
1915
IIr cravled way cI' ln 40 Mans Land d"
He vas camounaEsd 20 beat the band
He vas hunting su.pers instead o. sn.ps
7 n "
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Lnke McLnke Saws.

You Can't Broaden Yourself BY
Merely Getting Fat
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Pscatorial pastimers should be pleased to know that
ne army medical department recognizes angling as one OF
he best means Of restoring whose shattered
" she'll shock or other horrors of war
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Huh

There ,' always room A. '7s '07 o.
served 'he cheerful trays'sr. a, 10 N
a cigar 30 the Pullman smoker
u, that So" ntersd 'He grru-ry ~ar
who bad 'pen, the night in an gr-s-
berth
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Some mon may think this rhyme s F-1'
Some may think n a hone
Uu' don't ih|rk a doctor should
let well enough alone
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
LukRMLt4e


Fact
A Wise man OF In silsrrs tEsIa
ne never blabs of blows
And whih he knows all that - ff.f
Hs vont tell al he kngst
Great Scheme
Smith 3, great golf bog i'ri s.,
said Brown.
YES" replied lone, Ne ksg' h.,
hand IN al winter ard had Pl-es
every day"
"Bu, how could he prIet-, 10 vi-,,-
when me links are e'aisi' asked
Brown
we walked down town every morn
ing and every ~5 hurt'st yards -s
would swing a. an imaginary BAN v'F
hi, cane replied l1ne, Then he
would cuu a blue streak ard sHs1 rs
got down town he would drink a s-.' .1
highhall'
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

"Al men have tender spots E.t Par
'rIns fs frr truth. srH-.
And n If lent boz fIs ffafi
~ may be- 10 his TOE
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

II lack Rabbit Of Aurora l0i V.'
join the Club We viii see 'ra. rr1ri,
takes a sh9, al him
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Ten Years Ago

For the entertainment Of visitors at
Wheeler park. Commits VIII ".
Clark OF the park board has arranged
10 have two performances with The
large cinnamon bear 90, star actor; AZ
, ~ and I o'clock the animal feeder
will have the bear climb the tre, which
grow, in the IRON pen OF the beast A
piece of sugarcd bread viii be suspend
ed from one Of the higher limbs and
kept just ont of reach Of the bear
Charles Daughcrty chairman Of tho
legislative committee Of the Federation
OF Labor was IN oklahoma City from
Guthrie last niglt
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Even the most rabid Sufi who de-
mandS all that a man can have is Ger
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
O

u hear 500 War' mar 'r ar' a'
hourger here" att tNs a0g.Iar,
II d." replied 'hs proprietor -i 'r,
tough concert hall -Rg'scu trrf 'a.,
Ike sou could 40 much Bouncing f,''
have any experience a' a hrg0csr
Nav" replied 'hs applicant f"
! u,,i % he me- Irli rubber ~a- be- a.
side show
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Texas has gone dry and it won't be long until the solid
south will be solid for prohibition
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Names l. Names.

DR. L. s. Tarter lives in Cleveland
Ohio
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
We Prefer Ours Singed
Wuff

Harry Bacon has restaurant in
Hamilton Ohio.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

BY this time Holland probably feels that NOBODY loves
the Dutch
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
You Knor Hin

A thifilru rIss is Dsunf Bloc
Ana some tay 10 vIN rue .f
Hs knows me very tf'nE 'n So.
And then fUrgs's 90 DO .'
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Billy Wood wants to know II after a
man has eaten flock OF irankiurterS
for dinner he could refer 10 the rePasi
as a "doggone meal2"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23

Bnrs frailty | do not admire,
And / tell you that I've, sir,
Much sympathy for that poor wire
That he ate up alive, sir
Newark Advocate
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-23
Tnnk In Too Much Territory

Took in Too Much Ietfitoty
Our William goat we saw expire.
His death We do not question
He Rte q live electric wire
And ruined his digestion
Luke hcLuke
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-04-10
D u I'D D.

have remarked that snow was
lying on the ground, and the weather
was cold 7 should also mention that
81 had been freezing hard for about a
was almost like digging in rock.
The German guards announced IN
etfect that they did not give a tinkers'
ezpletive loW impenetrable the SOIL
vas They were there 20 see that the
BrltiEhers stuck 10 the Job, and we're
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-04-10
GAINS 70 lbs.
TAKING TAHLAC
Suffered for years and
had rheumatism so bad
couldn't get shoes on.

wen I tell you / have been re-
lleTed OF three years awful suffer
ING and have actually gained twenty
1--WE pounds in weight besides, you
can readily understand why I'm so
strong for Tanlac," was the remark
able statement made by Tom McClen-
non OF 1913 Grama street, FL PasO,
Texas recently.
Il had . number Of troubles. he
continued and it's the first time in
several years have been rid Of
rheumatism Before I began taking
this Ianlac my legs and feet were
swollen all the time and sometimes
couldnc get my shoes on The pain
was something awful and 7 was so
nervous and miserable I didn't know
what L was TO get a good nights
sleep had no appetite and nearly
everything / would eat disagreed with
me Ny food would sour and the gas
would press On my heart so i could
scarcely breathe Besides my terrible
suffering j had an awful tired feeling
ana would wake up in the mornings
feeling so no account I could hardly
get out OF bed.
I tried every kind Of treatment
and medicine ] heard Of but got no
relief until I began taking Tanlae.
but three bottles OF the medicine
have made me feel ike q brand new
man through and through. I have
never in all my life had such a raven
GUS appetite and you may know
everything agrees with me OF 7 could
never have gained so much in weight.
] sleep al night long without waking
ara my nerves are as steady as a
clock. All the swelling and pain has
left my feet and legs entirely and
Pm never bothered any more with
gas On my stomach, shOrtness OF
breath or other signs OF indigestion.
You may count me among the many
Ianlac boosters and you are welcome
70 this statement which I hope viii
be The cause Of others finding relief"
Tanlac is sold IN FL Paso by Kelly
& Pollard Co., me- and Peoples Drug
store, under personal directions Of q
special Tanlac presentative.-AdV.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-04-10

not prepared to lose the chance OF a
good dinner through neglect OF GUY
Col. Busch sailed mp in his motor
car about 8 o'clock In the afternoon.
and casting one glance at the scratch
on the surface Of the grOund-Whicn
was all the gang had made-he looked
bout the most surprised and horri-
fled Hun il has ever been my Good
fortune 10 behold He sent Tor the ii .
terpreter, but I had not the slightest
intention OF supplying verbatim re
port Of his fiery remarks over tns
trench digging capabilities Of my IN
defatiEable Comrades-althouSh tnat
was not the adjective he employed IN
their description
German Colonel Angry.
Now, Dickinson" the crusty orator
beloved in conclusion, you VIII tell
those blankety-b blank shlrkers WnaL
my views are about their work And
you viii also tell them that II they
don't turn out as much earth as j
think they ought 70 turn out they
viii be packed off TO the mines or the
coke ovens I won't continue 10 IeeQ
them on the best in the land and per-
nit them TO loaf on the job They
must work six times as hard as they
have been doing, and even then they
won't be performing tul sized Ger
mans work"
Something whispered to me that
crisis would be reached in very
NUAEA A0l u A-A4AI AA-AA AAA@ Ef-A - -
iaI little rift within the lutte was
about to make itself manifest Win
results which might separate me hur-
riedly and traglcally from very
cushy job and good grub
How We Were Puniahed.
The sad end came IN the middle OF
the second week. It happened 10 rain
on the day in question. and Il was
really water than caused the final
breakdown between the parties ana
closed the show.
To give il Justice. that was no or
binary rain. It was high power, r.
resistible downpour Of most dis
couraging and shelter enforcing de-
scriptiOn.
Never a grumble or moan Of pain
came from the Hun guards as the
heavens went for all they were worth.
but the ordinations that arose from
the British plainly indicated they
~ ere fed up with rain and intended to
quit In friendly way warned the
boys as to what would happen II they
jumped the JOB and took shelter, but
the advice fell on ears that were tired
and full OF rain So they departed
from their labors in body and the
spectacle temporarily deprived the
colonel O. any little sense to which he
would ever lay claim
No need 70 prolong the agony. The
trench diggers we're sent 70 the mines
and coke ovens, as per promise.
And the interpreter No. 1 wasn't
sent to q mine. was sent 70 a dark
cell FOR Is days, and fed on bread and
water, and mighty little Of both.
The gentle Col. Busch accused me
% having iustiEated the men TO leave
their work. There was no trial, no
witnesses, no nothing 10 even sug-
eest that I was guilty OF the charge I
The colonel in his rage had 70 have
his spite out on somebody. And was
the Eoatl HOch for German justicet ]
private Dickinson viii next con- 1
tribute a remarkable article In which /
he viii graphically describe the hOr-
rors OF imprisonment in a dark cell. /
This IL one Of the most powerful IN /
dicfments Of German cruelty ard IN I
Justice ever published In this c0un- /
tryD
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-04-10

For some reason the Canadian com
mander became suspicious. He had
the staff officer searched, when the
latter failed TO produce his authority,
and papers were found on him prov
ing that he was a German officer He
and his chauffeur were Immediately
shot
American engineer officers are said
to have been present when this Incl
dent occurred
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-04-10
Expert Hair
Demonstration

Will be with us one more
week, and viii sell all hair
goods at special prices.
Demonstrations Of all the
new weft Pompadours
Transformations, stem
less switches, O'Triple
switches, Mary Pickford
and Billy Burke curls. Let
this hair expert give you
some pointers on hair
dressing. -(Fifth Floor
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-05-23

Mrs. Eta Rcidy's backyard 10 a
paying investment. When figured
In cold dollars and cents. the small
yard back OF her bungalow. In Bcrk
cley. Cal. Melted her II per cent las,
year.
She expects to do even better this
year.
She grew all Vegetables used In her
home. She didn't try for the com.
merciai market. hut only for the
homo table. while her n~ighbors
paid from q TO eio . month 20 tho
local vegetable market. she industri.
DUSTY cultivated the backyard. grew
ali the green vegetables used. and
had them fresh whenever sh~ wanted
them. Besides. her nrixhborm profit.
ed By her generous hand. for they.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-05-23
\ Brand New One

Well. we'll there is something new under the sun.
Here it from the office Of information. United States
postofce department. and it lines up perfectly new
1n6er two different cassifications
First-Its excuse.
Second-Its new fish story.
When your letter is few days late, or your paper
epmes in week or behind time. it may be due to IA
shortage Of cars coal labor-or fish, Get that. Fish!
II it came via the Anchorage Alaskan ine the
day caused by fish, rather it was caused by the
ohogtage of fish, -
Fish play important role in postal affairs up there
Val carriers drive wolf dogs and wolfdog won't dine on
cnything but raw fish. No cooked. boiled fried. or
djeasseed food for the wolf-dog.
"A one mail carrier out Of Anchorage explains to the
anortment: THE delays account Of the dogs.
emf get fresh fish for them and they won't stand up
under cooked food"
8 But do not be discouraged Your mail from Anchor
- may some day arrive time
"Tm training the dogs to cooked food the mail car
m adds
When those wolf-hounds develop taste for canned
1mon the postofce department will have to hunt for
nGWer excuse.
The collar trust has sent cord to the hdberddshers
that prices TO be raised From every side zee get
4 g in the neck
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-05-23

Thafs was a man In our town
And he was wondrous wise.
lie never left a bit Of dirt
To raise a crop OF files.
4 New York court has decided
that William *. Vanderbilt IL the
sole owner OF the bed Of river in
that state. The bed Of the ocean.
We believe. ia olaisred by William
Hohenzollcrn.
And he'll need II II his fleet ever
comes out.
Rubber man TO train to fly
headline
IL this stretching the truth?
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-05-23
Knowing Bill, We Say It

VIM Il. Cover has been made chairman of the federal
trade commission Colver is the newest and youngest
Der of the commission This is another of newspaper
making good Colvers most notable work his
vestgation of the coal situation and his prediction
what would happen last winter He told congress last
July all about the shortage which took place December
and pointed out remedy which not adopted. His
plan to pool all coal and all coalcarrying equipment
McAdoo has lately adopted the Colver plan railway
equipment and Garfield is rapidly coming the pooling
plan. Since the began, the federal trade commission
has become the most important regulating agency the gov
eminent 1t has charge of proteerng patents and the
suppression Of all unreasonable competition
BILL" Cover held important editorial position on
The Cleveland Press for several years. and for
time of the Newspaper Enterprise association He
had talent for studying out propositions and forcing
thru his conclusions and the odds big his making
corking fine chairman.
Don't judge an Americans Amercanism by his
The only original Americans Indians orr
achite ancestors from, Europe.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-05-23

It is perfectly natural. and German. in the German
npives to spread the report amongst the allied troops
Tat Hindenburg dead with the expectation Of relax
alton Of effort by the allies.
Autocracies have to depend much particular per-
oona4es It doubtless surprised many Germans that Eng
land didn't throw up her hands and quit upon her loss of
Kitchener people drunk with the obsesson that the
~Ne und Colt partnership has Hndenburg its right
naturally overeststes the Importance of the effect
upon all other peoples o report of Hndenburgs removal
It will be in conflict with the German idea of the fitness of
things if he allies simply say. "Oh, well! Hindenburg
dead is just less German and go right on with the
business of removing Germans before.
Hindenburg's death might mean much to Germany
The allies bent the work Of what Hndenburg rep
resents dead alv But guess that Hindenburg is
st earth. We've received reports of riot mutiny
in the internal regions.