Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-10

pOrtant part OF THIS Item, apparently
deleted by the censor, is the name of
the car.
STREET CAR COMEDY.
Going hunting?"
'No; I've BEEN"
mo luck, eh?"
ooh, my, yes. Killed SO many rab-
bits decided not to attempt to carry
them home. Left them with farmer.
He is to ship them by rail to me-"
AND so they finally married"
"Yes, and they seem so happy"
How is he doing?"
Better than he expected, I i'm
agine"
How sou
His father is housing him and his
bride for the winter Think of the
item of coal alone. Oh, mani"
COMMODORE Henderson takes us
to task for intimating that he may
not charge for riding on his ferry
boats next summer because of the
trouble in collecting all of the fares
owing to the congestion of traffic. He
explains that nothing would afford him
greater pleasure than providing free
accommodations, but that If he did he
wouldn't have anything to keep him
busy during the navigation season.
The commodore says he will go just
as far as he can. however, without
<yivy hn Foo 10 will
tinue to dole out the usual bunch of
tickets for two bits.
ONE citizen explains that the rea-
son he failed to clean his sidewalks
after the last snow was that he didn't
want to mar the wintry landscape. He
said that bald spots around the house
would spoil the entire picture.
CHARLES M. Schwab will save 49,
100000 through the supreme court de-
cision that stock dividends are not
subject to the income tax. Mr.. Schwab
can afford to resume riding in his
private car.
WISCONSIN had snowfall of 16
inches. May have been intended as a
cold blanket for La Toilette.
THERE Is another war brewing
Several of the larger cities have
opened campaigns to land the 1920
national political conventions.
GERMANY is reported to be facing
a beer shortage. That ought to aid
in Fastening the ending of the war.
WE heard father Dragging the
other day that he had the grandest
baby in the world because he never
bawled on the colder nights. Perhaps
the babv is wise to the fact that il
he cried when it was cold father would
take him for a walk in frigid room
You can never tell about those Young.
sters.
THE assayer of the United States
treasury asks the public not to hoart
gold. Have you seen any lately
Here, neither.
THE same men who are criticisms
women for bareing their chests il
winter will be bobbing about in spor
shirts next summer.
A PENNSYLVANIA left orders dur
ing his last illness that his divorced
wife should not be permitted to at
tend his funeral. Likely be suspected
that she would doll up to show hi
friends what mistake he made whel
he split with her.
:. If you are contemplating invest
ment in the stock of a newly forme,
rubber corporation, and have doubt
as to its strength, you may be reas
sured by the information that Mr.. Gar
lick is one of the directors. This en-
!. try is offered by G. H.
1T is suggested that we also have
freezeless day each week.
J., THE Chicago health department say
the way to avoid colds is by preventing
the feet getting wet How about thos
who take those cold morning dins
: A TEACHER of classic dancing i
authority for the averment that us
of the feet develops the brain. Sh
may have had in mind those who's
brains are in their pedals.
SINCE there isn't coal enough t
supply both. b New York citizen ha
written the municipal authorities t
close the saloons and open the schools
Decidedly original. to Say the least.
mo. I'm not 4 poet" said tn
stranger with contribution as he az
preached the editor. II just knoc
off few verses of the ordinary var
ETY. occasionally. One is not recos
: nized DIS poet until one commence
s to turn out stun that is beyond tn
e understanding OF 80 per cent Of tn
: people who read IT.
J. NJ e.