Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1918-07-04
1.-THE CLASSICS!"
BY CORA EVANS sANBoRN.

any OluSI uOpIIS W UcStt 10, anu IAC
boisterous speaker voiced an echoing
laugh that went clear through listen
ing guest, a travelling salesman, so
hearty and spontaneous was the guf-
faw.
THAT may be your view Of il"
mournful and sedate retorted Wyatt
Mills, 'but | look at the awful cOndi-
ton Of affairs b1oOdshed, deyasta-
ton, coming starvation We'd better
be weeping over the prospect than
gloating over the miseries of man.
kind,'' and the speaker smOthered an
actual sob in his throat and with that
Burgess left the hotel.
Regular characters of the town,
eh?" submitted the interested guest.
you've hit it exactly" replied the
landlord with animation. They're a
pair, tell you. Burgess is laughing
half the time. Mills is constitutional
~ down in the dumps"
"Why, man." observed the guest,
chose two men are absolute class
les! -
whats that?" inquired the land
lord.
"Well, once there were two Roman
hilosophers-Heraclit and Demo-
critus, of whom your two friends who
have just left us are very fair proto-
types. Heraclites was the Optimist Of
the world, who considered life q vast
joke and humanity a lot of curios. On
| the contrary DemOcritus mOurned con-
tinually about the wretchedness of
the world, and went around expound-
ing the theory of constant tears as the
correct trend for the thinker and
philosopher"
"That hits this case, doesn't it,"
grinned the landlord. give often won
dered-for neither Burgess nor Mills
is an old man, just turned thirty
what kind Of husbands they'll make
if they don't get just the kind Of
women they ought to have-that is,
suited to their peculiar make up"
Judging from the persistency with
which Burgess and Mills had kept
away from the opposite SEX the ma
jority of their friends and acquain-
tances had long since concluded that
they would drift into q natural bach
elOrhoOd.
John Doble, a wealthy wtdOwer,
died and in his will named Mary and
Janet Wilder, his orphan nieces, in a
very handsome way. He left them
the old mansion where he had lived
for many years and enough additional
in investments to insure a comfortable
provision for life. There was quite a
f1utter in the quiet village at the ad-
vent Of tie two sisters. Mary, plump
and jolly, was the elder. Her sister,
Janet, was thin and tall and of q
quiet, reticent nature. Both possessed
good looks, and somehow suggested in
their opposite natures, the one laugh
ing, smiling, Burgess, and the other
the pessimistic, gloomy Mills.
Gust your match, Mills, that Janet"
remarked the hotel landlord one day.
Gas to you, Burgess" added the jo-
vial boniface Miss Mary is your true
counterpart" but neither Burgess nor
Mills encouraged further discussion Of
the theme of the moment. They look
ed askance at one another and when
with a searching look at Mills, OBJ
served:
"People are beginning - learn that
we go down to the Wilder place a
good deal, I reckon"
"Well don't we?" quizZed Mills, sus-
glance of Burgess.
"For a fact, yes, but remember we
have to-" reminded Burgess. "The
ladies require our services in making
the repairs on the old house"
''It was after working hours when
you went down there Saturday even
ing"
Eyes, and you wasn't on business
when you spent Sunday afternoon
there. Miss Janet, your hostess, | in
fer? You pair are like two peas" de-
clared Burgess.
All the town expressed vast amaze
ment when it became known that
Mills, the pessimist, was engaged to
Mary and that the Optimist happy-gO-
lucky Burgess, had chosen sedate,
smileless Janet as his life partner.
The happy four celebrated the dou-
BILE wedding, went away on a bridal
tour, returned and settled down to the
enjoyment of life in a pleasant har-
mOniOuS way
Six months after that the same COM
mercial traveller who had discussed
Burgess and Mills as bachelors
CHANGED to be again a guest at the no.
tel. AS an automobile containing the
recently married Burgess and Mills
and their wives sped by, he asked:
"That our friends, Heraclites and
Democritus?'
"Sure thing!' responded the land
lord. Queer, ism it? Burgess looks
a trifie graver than he used to, Ell?
And Mills bright as a dollar. That
was funny match"
Glow SOP"