Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-06-03
A seventy-Mile Legal Gum.

a
ms hrst case the other day. He was defending
man accused OF stealing hog 1t was a seri-
Gus and solemn moment for MIN and he onened
his address follows:
May it please the court and pen+,o~o, -, ~.
jury while Europe Is bathed in blood while
classic Greece is struggling for her ancient
,is"'s ana liberties and tramplinE the unhal-
lowed affairs of tho beardless infdels to dust.
while the United States, entering tho war
shines forth the brightest orb in the political
armament, /. with due Difference rise to defend
the cause of this humble hog thief"
DO you call him a hog thief?' asked the
court.
Those were my words" admitted tho LAWYER
Then the jury will find verdict of guilty
without leaving their seats" commanded the
court.
which would you rather be-" asks a COR
respondence school ad. "a civil engineer or
mining expert"
If they're asking us. would rather of the
two be comic strip artist and get the real
money.
Now the Germans using all bronze statues
for ammunition. Personally we would hate to
be hit by statue of Frederick the Great
The United States has made no reply to tn,
Bolsheviki regarding that loan
AT this time silence is not golden. either.
National Pickle Packers Association has
changed the spelling of sauerkraut to sour
krout What was 1t the immortal Will said?
"A cabbage by any other would smell as
Teutonic."
1t Can't He Done.
The enemy may train all their guns.
And slaughter million common Huns
But they'll never hit one Of the Ka!sers sons
Sing Ira la la la lay"
Will you please write about something be-
sides the war? ADELE
We will. darling, II you will kindly have
han
About the fifth day the amateur gardener
looks out OF the kitchen window to soc II his
garden is still there. On the sixth Gay he for
gets all about 1t.
Is it efficiency to times as many let
ters as necessary in word? Here Is what the
Germans call their type OF tank: Sturm.
panzcrkraftwagen
Onward the Observation-Disclosures
Forward the Observation-Disclosures,
Into the jaws OF death,
Into the mouth of hell
Drove tho Observation-Disclosures"
One thing about which we positively refuse t.
worry is the threatened resignation of the fuel
administrator.
The moths will have to 60 a restricted diet.
There will be cuffs belts on mems suits
in future.
"a pat on the back brings wonderful results"
Charles NJ. .Schwab. Charlie is right so often
that just have to believe him this time
The General Federation OF women's Clubs
favors eugenic marriages. Just when we
thought that thing had been laid In it's grave
forever.
Here Is what started the war. We have lust
found out after nearly four years OF investi-
cation. 1t is all very simple after ALL and we
CLEAN the real Of from the recent
speeches OF Count Hertlins
King Albert OF Belgium tried to steal Ger
many away from trusting and peace GLOWING
Kaiser.
The King offered Various anronts to the
Kaiser. which in the first days CT August 1914,
caused the latter To take UP defend
the fatherland One led 20 another until
the first thing everybody knew America
was tangled up in the conflict which Belgium
had forced upon unwilling Kaiser.
We're glad to have that settled at last