The Washington herald., 1918-01-26

Albert Lee was hlred to put away
some coal in the cellar of a lunch.
room.
The boss told him to 60 ahead and
put it in and left him on the jot
without anyone watching him.
Albert discovered the cooks coat
hanging up near the furnace.
He went through the pockets apd
swiped the watch. He then concealed
it in the hole Of a doughnut, which
he also swiped.
Then he went home. The cook miss.
ed his time. The cops were put wise
Everybody knows very well that nt
doughnut was ever born with q lot
of machinery in 1t.
So. therefore, it was easy for the
cops to discover in Albert's home. 6
doughnut making a noise like a watch
So they had the goods on Albert
The court ssid. very solemnly, sixty
days"
Awful stun.
Judge, it wasn't the amount OF
booze that I drank" said Dave Nc.
Cracken, ''it was the quality that got
me in trouble"
Dave was nabbed on a street car
He was about to bite a pane Of glass
in half when taken off.
Only two weeny little drinks did he
take. Dave told the court. Ordinarily
this amount wouldn't have ever
warmed his little toe.
But the stuff he drank Thursday
morning would have burned a hole
in the asphalt. 1t played havoc with
his brains.
Thara 10 bord1,, 49,, -.... - A.
street cars for sober people, the court
told Dave, let alone drunks.
And, too. it takes a strictly sober
man to stand up even when he is
hanging on a strap.
The passengers on the car were be.
ing gradually drugged by the whis-
key laden atmosphere around Dave
and in self defense the conductor
called a cop.
Just for that the court fined Dave
s25 or 80 days.
A Cold Deal On Coal.
"Jedge, All asked a fren OBJ mine I,
git me some coal He tole me eff Al
got him some whiskey he would gi
me de coal"
Here was to be an exchange OF hea'
producers. Lawrence Ware wanted
something to heat him up on the out
side and his friend wanted heat on tht
inside.
Lawrence thought that such an ex
change would be Just the thing.
But, OF course, Lawrence didn'
know when he accepted a marked 8
bill from his friend for the booze tha
he was putting his head in a trap.
Policeman Wheeler said that 70
sometime he had had his eye on Law
renee for this very trick
And he caught him with the marke,
money. But Lawrence needed tn,
coal so bad that he was willing. h,
said, to take almost any kind O
chance to get It.
Five hundred dollars fine and thirt!
days in Jail said the court
No Heart at All.
Dick Chambers, driver of a san,
wagon, hasn't much sympathy TO
dumb animals.
Thursday afternoon Dick was haul
ing load Of sand to put on the ca
tracks.
He halted at the bottom of a hill
four blocks long. The hill was cover
ed with ice and snow.
Whipping his horses severely, h
tried to make them "go over the top
of the hill.
The poor animals would go forwarc
one foot and slip back two feet. TIL,
more they slipped the more Dicl
whipped them.
A woman rushed out Of a house anC
demanded that the beating cease
Dick said something ugly to her.
She called Policeman Derner. Der
ner locked Dick up.
The court sympathized with tn,
horses. They were doing the bes
they could to haul sand to keep tn,
cars from slipping and, were them
selves slipping.
Dick had to leave IS in court.
Those Dear Girls.
Two ladies were having an argu.
ment on c street one day this week
and both of them were determined
to have the last word.
Mary King was standing on hel
front porch hurling epithets at Josie
Rankin, who was leaning out of tn,
window.
Suddenly. Josie slipped on her coal
to run outdoors. She intended to e
over and swat Mary in the snoot.
Mary suspected something of the
sort. Consequently she took a brick
from under a flower pot on the porch
and got ready.
Just as soon as the door OF Josie!
house opened Mary heaved the brick
But 1t wasn't Josie she hit, it wa
Josie's husband, Tom.
Scared to death Mary ran in the
house and hid. Tom followed her.
He twisted her arm and almos
broke 1t. He tore a scarf off her par
lor table and bandaged his head will