The Washington herald., 1918-05-07

! New York, May ga great volume
of cheers accommodating in William
Rasawich have been suppressed for
the duration of the war. He awoke
a bit early the other morning with
enough headache to worry a bronze
monument and had lost 500 which he
intended to invest in liberty bonds.
Patriotism in its most acute form
attacked William. He was pressing
trousers in his tailor shop in Harlem
| at the time and when he got through
cheering and applauding as a drum
corps passed there was an aroma of
stewed cheviot about the shop and
the trousers had gone to their reward.
William announced that he would
pay for the trousers and would also
invest SEQ in liberty bonds. Adam
Hordlenk. who worked at the next
bench, began sewing rapidly without
hitting anything with his needle. He
assured William he was a patriot and
would take him 10 a place 10 buy the
bonds.
He drew the money from the bank
and was proceeding along Broadway
with the helpful Adam when they en-
countered a friend. whom Adam had
known since he first peeked out OF
friend had invented a machine which
with one whiff could asphyxiate the
Kaiser. crack the kneecaps OF his
troops, feed the German populace.
blow the sandals and bloomers on the
Turks and make it possible for the
poor to use whip cream in their corree
forever and a day.
All that the machine needed was one
rNla min
cerise plush ribbon. all of which
could be bought for ss9I75. William
decided to investigate the machine
that would stop the war further and so
all repaired to a cute but no bizarre
thirst parlor. Before sunlight skidded
down over Williams cheeks the party
was having the tenth round. all OF
which tasted peculiar
Twenty-four hours later William
awoke a bit dazed. He felt for the
s7Oo To put it pointedIy-it had van
ished. So had his friend Adam. Will
lam went to the police who were SYM
pathetic, but inclined to be giggly as
he led up to the story's climax. SO
William is through cheering for the
duration Of the war.
George W. Sutton. jr.. has covered
up his typewriter and is Off to the
wars. He is the third editor this week
to desert the blue pencil for the
bayonet. He leaves the editorship OF
Motor Life to be second lieutenant in
the Tank Corps.
Mr.. Sutton comes from South Beth
lehem. Pa, and at a dinner given IN
his honor before he Joined the colors
he told a story that was eagerly
plagiariZed by the banquet hounds
In South Bethlehem there was a
negro character who showed up on
the main street one morning with both
eyes nearly closed and his head well
bandaged. He limped along on two
canes.
A friend inquired the cause OF the
disaster. 1t seems that the negro had
met a striking looking yellow girl on
the street and talked to her.
"NigSah." she said, buy me an ice
cream sody?"
"wha yo' all husband?" he said
cagily.
"oh shucks; he's gone over TO Pitts
burgh."
So they proceeded to the ice cream
parlor. AMI then it happened. THAT
WELLER gals husband just riz up out
O. the ground" he said, land he
basted me on one side of the head and
then on the other and when riz up
i he knocked me down again and then
he began jumpin' up and down on me
and he stomped and stomped and
stomped. I never got 30 tired Of a
niggah in all my life"
c. d. Morris. editor OF the st. Joseph
| Gazette. was among those present at
the publishers meeting last week. Out
in ST. Joe there IS a prominent citizen
who is as thin as a lead pencil. He
can sCarcely make a shadow. In New
York the -on CALLED on Mr.. Morris.
The son. in contrast, weighs 300
pounds and is about the biggest man
outside of the Barnum & Bailey col
lection. Mr. Morris took one look at
him. "a block of the old chip" he
calculated.