South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-03-31
MAN IN THE STREET

Our unofficial advice is. treat
Japan as a full-Aedged ally and with
complete confidence. Any other
treatment would be insulting and
might lead 10 the gravest conse-
quences.
over in Paris some Of the trades
people are discussing how TO retain
the trade which has been captured
from Germany. Our idea is this
question need not be considered at
length until the kaiser and his
princes have been executed.
Smoky row will be dark for
time at least, after next Tuesday
night. Snakes are going TO be prev
alent in these parts during the sum-
mer months, and II will be well for
those who believe in the old-fash-
Toned cure to make note Of this.
One OF our wealthy widows who
simply "adores" pet dogs had one
on her lap while enroute from South
Bend to Mishawaka on a south side
car the other day. She asked the
conductor 10 stop at a certain point.
When he did so. she went to the plat
form and there stood gesticulating,
with the dog on her arm.
Hurry up. miss, hurry up. You
want 10 get out here. don't you?"
"Oh. dear, no thank you! l only
wished TO show Fido where her
mother lives!"
Litany OF French Soldiers.
You have two alternatives: You
are modified, or you are not. If
not you have nothing 10 worry about
II you are you have two alternatives;
either you are in camp. or at the
front II you are at the front you
have two alternatives; either you are
in the reserve, or you are on the
fighting line. II you are In the re-
serve you have nothing TO worry
about. II you are in the fighting lima
you have two alternatives: either
you get hurt. or you don't. If YOU
don't you have nothing 70 worry
about. If you do YOU have two al
ternatives; either YOU get slightly
hurt or you get badly hurt. II
slight you have nothing 70 worry
about; If badly. YOU have two al
ternatives: either YOU recover or Won
don't. If you recover YOU have
nothing to worry about and il Won
don't you have done with WORRY
forever
If the Tribune ever sends another
extra" to Mishawaka like that of
last Sunday we have il from the
police they will arrest a whole bunch
Of fakirs.
Alexis Coquillard was in the city
this week. In fact he has been COM
ing over quite frequently of late. OF
course, re doesn't expect to get any
votes here. The few republicans
there are in the city, bent on being
on the winning side for a change.
will vote the democratic ticket from
top TO bottom.
While we admit that Henry Egg
| gleston is a strong candidate and a
good citizen, for a republican, we
cannot but think that Jim Kennedy
will again capture the nomination
/ for township trustee. jim has two
things in his favor: He belongs to
the right political faith and he has
/ brought about wonderful changes for
the betterment of the township
school system.
We wish TO say right mere and now
I that il wasn't Joe deLorenzi who eX-
I pressed the wish that Sec'y of War
/ Baker might be killed by a German
shell during his visit to France Joe
/ has rightly and tightly kept his
mouth shut since this country en-
tered the war and anyone attribut-
/ ing the remark TO him does him an
\ injustice The namS of the person
who made the remark in the pres
! ence OF three witnesses will be dis
closed when the firing squad gets
/ ready.
The following colloquy between
\ lNp SuLdiA IVY = VIII ldu bCth oSiAiiH
I News-Times extras during the past
/ week was reported by a lady who
+ overheard il: Gee, 1 hope the wal
lasts 10 years; I'll make a lot OF
/ money selling extras" said one 70
the other who came back with this:
I'm 10 years I'll be able TO go "a
the war. and just think. it won't cost
; me "A cent TO cross the ocean,
Jealous Again.
So. the gallery kidded our W. Z