South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-03-10
CAN YOU BEAT 1T?


as being opposed TO the sending of
tobacco in any form 10 the boys
over there" This war is response
bic for many freak resolutions, bu,
this opposition 70 the soldiers
smoking in the trenches certainly
takes the cake" for downright sill
ness. Get GOWN 10 your knitting.
ladies'.
The Sirn Feiners are now pro-
Iosing to maintain an Irish en-
bassy' in Washington. And Wash
ington should make il plain that
anything like that will result in
somebody being informed just as
any other alien enemy would be.
Ir. Frank Crane tells girls how
they can do their bit. He advises
them 10 cut out beef and pork and
eat chicken and fish. Oh, doctor.
Chicken and fish, Wonder if the
doctor has seen the plans and speci-
Gcations of a chicken or fish dim n
recently?
Tn the role OF press agent, the
local Women's Chorus choir has the
! circus species skinned a thousand
ways.
Miss Marian Clark and Phanor
Hewlett were locked together by
handouts the other night and had
10 be sawed apart. Whom Stubs
has joined together, etc.
Some days have elapsed since
MIshawaka nailed down her rank
as the best giver'' 10 the Red Cross,
hrift stamps, Y. NJ. G. a. Y. w. c.
n. soldiers library. Salvation army
Liberty bonds and other war activi-
ties. and not once has she acted i'm
modestly or arrogantly because OF
her distinguished primacy. Misha-
waka has never been a boisterous
or boastful burg, but glories in her
fine breeding and gentleness.
Not much difference between a
war offensive and an offensive
peace. made in Germany.
Basil Thompson of Scotland Yard,
says: professional criminals are
prohibitionjsts. The bulk Of the
worst crime is a result of delibera-
| ton and TO act with decision a man
must be sober"
Only aaother proof that sObTlety
and efficiency go hand in hand.
Songs without words are prefer
able to songs without sense.
Honesty is the best policy. but
some people believe in moderation
in all things.
If history were written at the
time it occurred there would be
more truth in it.
we suppose there is public
archive room enough in Berlin 70
accommodate all the Spanish notes.
protests and ultimatums.
! Wool is now so high that some of
| the political sharps in St. Joseph's
county will not be able to pull many
| ounces of it over the peoples eyes.
Pay no attention to Germany's
| peace talk, 10 reports of a German
| revolution or 10 rumors of a new
l German strike. The business of the
\ United States is to devote every
atom of energy to licking the kaiser
and listen TO his peace talk after he
! is licked
The Russian bo!sheviki have
shown such form that Russia IS
very apt 10 become the gold brick
market Of the world after the war
a woman society writer says thai
pimple in the right place will
make a girl keep her chest covered
Maybe so. but il seems to us that
it is the Dimple in the wrong place
that makes a girl sit up and take
notice. cause there isn't any right
place for a pimple.
Various kinds OF prohibition bills
are TO be introduced. and some OF
the boys seem bent upon law that
will make things so dry that the
state will smell like a distinery.
The Toledo Blade SAYS a cold
storage Easter egg is unthinkable.
II is folly for us 70 be eggwise. so
long as We have lived in cold
storage bliss.
After the reception accorded Will
lam Jennings Bryan in Toronto,
March 1 we presume Mr. Bryan is
not among those who believe
March came in like a lamb.
The new republican chairman.
Will H Hayes. announces that il is
his purpose to beat the democratic
para. Sure. But the democratic
purpose is TO beat the kaisercTati1
party.
Fast train rivalry is going TO be
stopped. Washington announces.
Even at that. the average guy
doesn't travel so fast going TO Ne-
York that he doesn't strike a much
faster gal. after ne arrives.
Former Pres't Taft advises that
spies and traitors be shot. Amen
and halleujah.