Newport daily independent., 1918-02-03
The Cub s COlpunl

tinued his colyum, and wishing to show him that he is not the only one who can inflict frenzied vaporings on helpless public and get away with it, his son, Adam Mutt will try it once under a new headline. In ad- dition to his desire to "get back" at papa for some "crewel" things he said, Adam is inspired to make this attempt by overhearing two estim- able ladies say, just after breakfast at his high-class boarding house yes tol day morning, that they were sor- ry the Mutt Colyum" was discontin- ued, because they got so much enjoy ment out of fathers painful at tempts to say something funny. More snow and more conversa- tion.
 You needn't thank the weather man because the ground hog didn't show up yesterday. Hoover is re- sponsible for that "porkless day."
 Some of the most conspicuous things in this town are the sidewalks that were not cleaned off after the mayors gentlemanly request for snowless sidewalks.
 The most insufferable bore is the fellow who always has story with a lavendar hue to pour into your ear.
 It's a safe bet that if the weather man has any more freak weather in stock he will unload in on Arkansas before the robins twitter again.
 At our fashionable boarding house each lady boarder takes an hour ev- cry morning to tell about everything that is, most everything-that she saw and heard since the vesperian meal of the day before.
 Very young men repeat the editor ial bunk they read in newspapers and think they are talking politics.
 Of course, you have noticed that the name of the gabby, critical man is never heard among those who do worthwhile things in the community. Some persons are so grouchy that they detest anything funny-and, for that reason, they should be pleased with this colyum.
 One man, in response to A. Nutt's request for contributions, submitted this one:
 "A young man should remain sin gle and settle up before he marries and settles down."
 Noah printed that pert little joke let in the Ark Weekly Clarion during the big flood-but, b'lieve me, it's still rattling good joke.
 Some men piece out with dignity what they lack in brains and manage to stand at the head of the class as paragons of wisdom.
 Three hundred and thirty-two days until next Christmas. Shop early! k Texas man killed his step-daughter to keep her from marrying. This means of checkmating the wiles of Dan Cupid proved quite effective, but so unpopular that his neighbors want to lynch him. But you never can tell. Maybe he did the girl real favor.
 -O-
 A female motion picture fan has the male baseball fan backed into a corner and looking foolish. She never knows when to stop flaming" {"
 We have the pleasure occasionally of meeting here in Newport an elder ly lady who has retained the charm of youth-whose tender solicitude for the comfort of others is beautiful, and whose uniform good nature and silvery laugh drive away all the lit- tie gloom germs in others. She is one of the kind you read about in pretty stories and dream about when you call to mind all that is good and sweet in womankind. We wonder if kind providence will ever trans form the flossy floosies in flirty clothes into lovely elderly ladies.