Arizona republican., 1918-04-14
l PUSH NO MORE

A lIl6uu WI1O IS AQ dEQuOuS sup porter of Ben Franlllin's early rising theories, stood despondently by his old "Studdabakker, or bullchecker" auto, this morn, as I, with eyes still guinmed by sights fevcille, dragged myself pitifully toward An Sins "Kaff-e or bull beef sanitoriem," i" pondering in my mind whether best to bear what ills I have-join the Rollers" don wings, and fly to those l know not of.-Fordi Ferdl yelled a voice, gimme a lift" My nature is of the soft soap tension, by which I mean pliable, and the word No, never entered my vocabu- lary.-"Surei Sure!" I responded. Whats wanted?" "Oh this d. old worm eaten, time worn rolling ma- chine, wont spark, and I must get up
 friction or camp here till day light" Friends, that word friction brings to my mind unpleasant rev cries, for it was that which caused the optic you saw bandaged last week, and the same can be said as to the reason of Mary Jane now swishing past with her nose up turned, and skirts, Con the side next to mel tightly drawn, when passing; but anyhow, proffered service, and getting shoulder to rear brace, screamed, Say when" as like an old mule in chain harness dug in, to start a ten ton vehicle with the strength of a 50 lbs. skeleton, as motive power. You've often seen the firemen's hose under water pres sure, stiff and hard, resist any usage, but just the second the cock is turned twisting and limp it assumes a re- semblance to an expiring rattlef in deaths agony: I know of no bet ter comparison:-My back bone was as stiff as the determined Corpsteln opponents efforts at our last election and in the twinkling of an eye, like their endeavors, it was as flat as old Daves brush fire slapjacks. Beg ging, cussin, prayin, adjuring, stomp ing and grooming, all availed naught for after one push l was done com pletely up, and not a spark eminated from that box in consequence. Il was surely unkind of this friend (!) to compare we to "a worn out bass horn whose every note was a Vls- cious equeal" for I did my level best, but in this way are good deeds rewarded.
 Now I'll privately tell you some thing: Prom your long continued i'm plorations, and "bull con" adjurations about wanting new furniture, bought what is said to be the finest select assortment in Phoenix, and vii continue the business at Hal Birds (the Edwards Furniture Co.) keeplns nothing there but new goods. Others prices will be ignored. I believe 1T small profits. My son will mana g. the business, and take my word foi it he's a affable, pleasing kind, loving, condescending, agreeable and loaded with gush. if he donH pull your leg, his old father won attempt to, and say "girlies, he ant Pop are both in the market:-ln any event we will welcome examination O goods.
 Adams street just this side of Re. publican printing office.
 Will I continue my second hant stores? should say yes: Today I leave for Los Angeles to ship tht next car. Yesterday a car of Re frigerators, Rugs, Electric Fans, ant general assortment, same from I'm perial Valley I buy in large ol small lots, and pay more than al others-spot cash. The new furni. ture store is on Adams, near Repuh lican printing office: The second hant store is on Central avenue, neal Wells Fargo Office: The new furni ture phone is 1510-the End hand fur niture phone is 1776.
 Ford's Stores-Geo. o. Ford, Prop.
 P S. Being train time l canno classify today only to notify the ladie. that I now have Rotary Sewing ma chimes and that storekeeper that
 have sizes cash registers and kinds typewriters. 1