Arizona republican., 1918-05-12
For Sale-Miscellaneous
FORD HAS MORE GRIEF

Of all the dirty, low, disreputable, tricks for which l must answer, when angelic wings are apportioned me. I honestly believe what 1 relate, will occasion in the unknown future more black marks on the debit page, than the whole score previously chronicled, many of which, having been unpre- meditched and counterbalanced by prayerful confession, l know are can celed. All of you know that my hard earned @ dollars are obtained by purchasing, of rag pickers, cast off clothing, and tho carefully matching pieces, 1 arrange full suits on-suits) which are sold to the unsophisticated. A strolling victim from Sweden dropped into the den Saturday, and from his idiotic face I knew chance favored me. Got sum close" he mur- mured-I didn't even reply, but rakiny down a pair of striped tight legs" with mouths like crock -diles, helped him squeeze within, and by un- usual effort got them buttoned, as he stood gasping for breath. The coat was of polka dot pattern, seemingly made for a narrow back, large chest, short armed, and long bodied clown. It required united effort to encase him, but when there, he was as help less as a bootlegger in a straight jacket. Eighteen dollars" 1 whis- pered, at which he attempted to reach for purse. but failing bade me help myself. 'I tink so now, he unused, shall go to Pateericks hall and yump my toe.-Little did he dream that any attempt at tipping would lead to disaster, but the truth soon was ap- parent, for as he passed outside, the gale took his tip crowned derby, and after it he started, 'h-- bent for own ership. A passing woman, of dusky hue, proved the favorable obstruction which checked it, and as he bounded toward the goal he too suddenly in clined his body, and, horror of horrors, the wide breadth which opened in both upper, and lower garments, revealed the anatomy of places, which custom and necessity, demand, should be ob- scured. You have seen the winged winds play thru an old Russian strhg- gling whiskers, and I likewise have viewed a tattered flag streaming in strings from pole, but i doubt if ever you beheld a Swede grasping with one hand a helpless screaming female, while the other member hung to a battered hat which he planted across a flattering shirt tail loosened from its captivity and Tipping athwarts surroundings like a hand flail wallop- ing corn from the dry huskS It took long explanation to keep an officer from juggling the poor half stripped idiot, and you must remember, that during this melee there was more effort being wasted by she, who was striving to hold some loose garments around pink covered anklets, and limbs attached. To add spice to the play a little flee" deemed his duty requisitioned, and kept nipping the heels of Sweden, who with kicking
 swearing and yelling, made a panora-
 ma well worth witnessing.-All things
 have an end and I understand he contemplates Ending me" but twiXi you and l. he'll catch me first.
 Patience has quite me,-likewise cus- toners.
 Pretty soon, Its over the hills to the Poor House."
 | Will you accept any article in this
 store in good condition and pay 5( cents value on the dollar?
 l Every woman of whom l buy tell:
 me, Tt cost so much;" You, can pay l half: Nov dearies, when you reaC
 my selling price perhaps you'll ge your thinker on.