New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
''No,. sSiir!''
How a Woman, Poked
Her Nose IntoSa British
Mess, and the Wonders
That Resulted in the
Culinary and Service
Departments
n TARD MUIR recounts in "The
~ Spectator" the following
Y sprightly experience:

.
Wv sprightly experience:
"'Any complaints?' Regu-
larly at dinner time the orderly officer ma
terializes for fraction of second in the
mems mess and, having uttered this chal-
lenge, vanishes, waited on his way by the
unvarying No, sir!' of the senior cor
poral
Before enlisted had heard such har-
rowing stories about the roughness of life
in khaki that the victualling was from the
first pleasant surprise; it would never
have occurred to me to uplift my voice in
amy COMPLAINTS There was always enough
to eat. Beyond this point there seemed to
be nothing more to be said.
Nevertheless, looking back, con-
scious that our mess is better than it was
in the spring of 1915, when joined.
Thereby hangs tale. 1t is the tale Of
a woman who poked her nose in where she
was not wanted-and on whose head hum
dred and fifty men should shower blessings
for her inquisitiveness.
cat the time of which I write the cook
house staff in our mess were men-chosen
ancient principle. The
mess corporal, who at that era was chosen
on grounds not unsimilar to those which
governed the choice of the cook, dumped
upon his counter at the end of the mess
room the large tin eceptacle-resembling
a baby's bath-which contained THE stew
Cor the dishes bearing the roasts, as the
case may be) and left it to the hungry
rabble to help themselves as best they
could This you may be sure they did, and
our spirit of fairness was such that l am
certain no one was deprived of his share
by another's selishness. Still--it was a
tussle.
"The stew was mobbed by persons armed
with spoons and enamelled soup plates;
the skirmish to dip into the appetizing
mess was so confusing that you sometimes
hardly knew what lucky morsel you had
scooped until you had elbowed forth and
could examine at. leisure your plates con-
tents.
THE attack upon a joint was even more
vigorous. The joint could not be said to be
carved; it was rent asunder by several in
dividuals' knives and forks hacking into it
simultaneously-wit awkward effects in
the matter of juices.
but these matters were beneath the no.
tice of our corporal. He kept order in the
mess. He produced the food from the back
ground of the kitchen at the hours appoint
ed Having done so, he beamed at us from
behind his counter, with the complacency
of one who would be panied to learn that
as far as his messroom was concerned all
was not for the best in the best of all
possible worlds.
80 NAE scene l remember WE'LL We or
= derlies were seated at our tables,
munching hard, when l noticed that the
usual babel of talk had died down. Look
ing up, l saw behind Corporal Morgan's
{tro
poral himself. the quartermaster, and--as-
tonishing vision-Miss N, the assistant
matron. 1t was the first time that any one
present had ever seen woman in our mess
nut. The sight struck US dumb. We gapcd
MISS n, with two spots of pink in her
cheeks and a determined expression, was
lnterrogating Corporal Morgan; we saw her
snlffng the stew, peering with frown into
the egg-box and gingerly lifting out speci-
mems of its contents, the knives and forks
and spoons. 1t was not difficult to guess
that she was dissatisfied with her scrutiny
presently Miss N withdrew through
the kitchen, the quartermaster in her wake
The babel broke forth afresh, but with in
creased loudness and fury regret to saw
that the assemblage with almost complete
unanlmity expressed its vehement disap-
proval of the sacredness of the mems mess
being invaded by woman. Our corporal,
harangulng us In language which reached an
unusual fioridity demanded to know whether
we were or were not girls, school and
whether the matron, the assistant matron
or any other member of the female staff
had a right to come and lord it over US.
Inc outrage of woman interfering in
our affairs was represented to us as I'M
endurable.
What exactly happened thereafter, be-
hind the scenes, l do not know; nor do
know what influence had caused Miss
N to examine into the mems mess.
Suffice it to say that, mysteriously,
phenomena began to supervene. Corporal
Morgan found himself transferred to ar
other post. Women cooks appeared in the
kitchen and woman washer-up in the
scullery Stranger STILL we suddenly be-
held our bare wooden tables covered with
American cloth; a new outfit of fawless
enamel plates. in two sizes, one for meat
and one for pudding, on the counter; like
wise, complete new set of cutlery. The
anti-socal method Of the skirmsh, and
even that Of the queue, was superseded by
a system whereby each table was allotted
to given number of men, and a plate
OF food, exactly calculated for that num-
Der and ready carved, was placed thereon
only when the table was filed Each man
helped himself from the plate to as much
az he wanted; unused food was saved; any
man who had taken food and then not eaten
1t was liable 70 be punished; the new rules
against waste were rigid. but just.
"And the grub itself! it was the
same as before, yet how different! Steak
pudding shepherds pie green's
fried onions . stewed fruit
blanc mango salad jam tart
roly-poly why were these things. all
quite unprctentious, never once seen as
addenda TO the stew roast and dufv ~
our men cooks, yet introduced as a matter
OF course into our menu as soon as women
reigned in the Kitchen?
Later she quilted the hospital for SER
vice abroad. Before going she came once
more into our mess. Again there were two