Evening star., 1918-02-03

\
the library of the house
boat on the Styx and
greeted Attila. the Hun. who was seated
in one corner of the room slipping his
favorite tipple of wood alcohol and ia
basco sauce. "if it isn't good old Att!
What's the matter, old man, you look
like the Gloom Eost- When l hrst
ca ght sight of you 1 thought you were
a thunder cloud, and had visions of
heavy rain. you look SO black"
well. why shouldn't T." retorted at
tia, with a grim scowl.
Because, old top grinned the cap
tain, your reign is over; your stunt is
to do the rainbow act
.Humph.'' shifted the Hun. Rainbow
act. Ell? After that"
He banged his hand viciously upon the
first page of the Gehenna Gazette,
where, capped with headlines of the
most approved scarehead pattern, Capt.
Kidd read the following:
\ WORTHY son OF a FAMOUS HUN
Latest advices from the upper-world
are 10 the effect that Kaiser William
ii has taken as his model in the
savage forms of warfare he is wag
: ing on the women and children of earth
his predecessor in pillage Peter B. At
tilla, esq, formerly of Hunviile-on-the-
Spree, and now a prominent resident of
hades- Those who have followed the
courses Of the two distinguished poten-
tates And an amazingly complete paral-
lei between the infamous conduct of the
two men. and recent interview grant
ed the Potsdam correspondent of the
Gazette by the present head of the Ger
man empire would seem to indicate
that the similarity is not mere acci-
dent, but matter of premeditated
choice on the part of the reigning SOW
ereign.
Yes, said the kaiser. as he gra-
ciously received your correspondent in
the dark room where he was having his
daily fashlight taken, Il am perfectly
willing 10 admit it. Attila is my great
exemplar. They say am conceited
and regard myself as the great origi-
nator of all the truly progressive move
nents of my time. when as a matter of
fact there never has been in all re-
corded history more modest man than
= Myseif-print that myself with a capi-
tai NJ. please. like the G in Gott-nor
more apt pupil of an inspiring teach
err II was not l who invented German
killter-l-er-I mean kultur-but that
rare spirit Attila. my illustrious pre-
decessor in Teutonic effort. II was he
who nrSt laid down the fundamental
principles upon which the glorious re-
generation of a degenerate world might
be begun.
Would your imperial majesty deign
TO state in single word just what the
fundamentalest of those fundamental
principles is2" we asked
With pleasure. replied the kaiser
scratching his left ear with the prong
of his right mustache. 1T is sim
plicity itself. To eradicate veal kness
from the world. strike at it's source.
Eradicate the weakling. In other words
war upon the helpless. The helpless
are burden to every community.
Every dependent person in the world is
hindrance to the growth of the
stronger individual upon whom he de-
pends. and to that extent retards his
progress. and thereby diminishes the
possible sum total of the worlds ad-
vance toward that perfection of which
we Hohenzollerns are the supreme eff
forescence- 1t was upon that basis
that Attila the master invaria bly, acted.
and in tnis present conflict in the de-
struction of old women. old men and
little children. for which the squeamish
have SO severely criticised me- / am
but carrying out his noble policies for
the beneft of the whole human kind .
Capt Kidd read the above carefully
and with a beaming smile he turned to
the angry Hun.
Why. my dear old boy" said he.