The Washington herald., 1918-01-27

A few days ago Claude Jenkins
bought a SO pair of shoes.
His girl, Ruth Barnes. admired them
very much. She was so stuck on
them she borrowed them.
1t was all right as long as Ruth
wore these shoes. That is, when she
was with Claude.
But when she went to a movie show
with them on. accompanied by an
other admirer, Claude drew the line.
He raked Ruth over the Goals about
it. She got sore at the call down and
told him to take his shoes and 20 to
blazes with them.
Claude didn't do that. He took one
Of the shoes, a number 10, and banged
her on the head with it.
The heel came off the shoe. Ruth's
head was only slightly Jared.
Her feelings were Jared the most.
She got a warrant.
Claude thought he had = natural
right to hit Ruth. but the court
thought differently about II.
And so that pair of shoes has stood
him just sSO-s1O being the original
cost and $50 for bsaning Ruth with
one of them.
Just a Stacker.
There is one woman in Washington
who has supported her husband ever
since she married him four years ago.
She is Elvira Simmons. A day after
she and George Simmons were mar
ried George was taken sick.
He stayed sick for six months.
Then he got well.
Wifey told him to hunt a job. He
said he would.
Six months loafing has completely
spoiled him. He got sick" again, all
of a sudden, and has been Sick ever
since.
And yet he has been able to shoot
craps, drink booze and do lots of other
wicked things.
Wifey pleaded with him last Thurs
day to get a job.
George told her that she should
consider it great privilege to be al
lowed to support him.
He demanded money She said no.
He said he would get 1t anyway.
He threatened to kill her. He acted
the fool in several other ways.
And now, IL he don't 60 to work
and let Elvira alone, he will get a
schooling in hard work at Occoquan
under the personal direction of Mr..
Whitaker. Peace bonds for him.
1t wasn't Baltimore Booze. Either.
Friday morning John Collins walk
ed up to Jean Baker and said: "Ah
am sick; All feels LAX All am comm
apart"
"Ah am de doctor fo' yo'." answer
ed Jean. Come wild me en- All will
mex yo' sit up and tex notice"
John said that he went. He doesn't
know where.
But the booze he drank would make
a terrapin act like it had q Liberty
motor in each leg.
He staggered out on H street He
got tangled up with the steering ap-
paratus of fiivver. tF-
He escaped arrest for an hour or so.
He butted into everyone on the street.
He slipped down at Tenth street
and began to go through the motions
of SWIMMING. He was in a puddle of
water.
The next thing he knew he was
lying on an iron bench in a cell.
He had enough OF a headache for
lch Lhch. his throat was on nre, ana
they poured a bucket Of water into
him.
By the time John has served his
thirty days he will forget all about
the taste of liquor. able hopers hope.
A LIP Argument.
/ Mary GIascoe was busily engaged
In chopping, wood the other day,
She would stiIl be chopping if Min
ME Chance hadn't butted in.
Minnie started an argument with
Mary about a stocking.
Even though her head is not made
of wood. Minnie stuck 1t in front Of
the hatchet in Mary's hand and got
1t nicked few times.
or course. there was something in
this stocking argument that made
Mary mad. II was no ones business
how much money she had in the First
National Bank.
Minnie ought to have known better
than to let her head make a noise
like cherry tree.
There was something else TO this
,arsument but Ralph Given, the pros