The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-10-03
WRITES HIS PAPA

The following letter purports Il
have been written by the crown
I prince to his father, the kaiser, dur.
ing the recent disastrous campaign
Somewhere in France, "On der run
all der time"
Dear Papa: | am writing on der
run, as der brave and glorious soldiers
under my command have not seen der
Rhine for so long dat dey started
back dat way, and Of course | am
going NIT dem. Oh. papa, dere has
been some offel things happened here
IN France. First, | started my big
offensive which was TO crush de fool
Americans, but dey know so little
about military stactics dat dey will
not be crushed like | want dem.
sent my men in der fight in big waves,
and ven dey got to der Americans dey
all said boo" yust so loud as they
could holler.
"Vell, accoding TO vat you have al
ways told me, der Americans have
turned and run like blazes, but vat
do you tink? Dem fool Americans
don't know any thing about war, and
instead of running de odder way dey
came right at us. Some Of dem were
singing about eve won't come back
till it's all over, over there" or some
other foolish song. and some Of dem
was laffing like fools. Dey are so
ignorant.
"But dcy are offel reckless with
deere guns and ven dey come toward
us it was den dat my men took a no.
ton TO go back to der dear, old Rhine.
We don't like de little dirty Marine
river anyhow. And, oh papa, dem
Americans use such offel language.
And dey talk blasphemy 90. Vat you
tink dey said right in front of my
face. One husky from a place dey call
he said--Oh papa, | hate
to tell you vat a awful ting he said
but ! can't help 1.-THE said, ITO /
hel nit der kaiser" | didn't tink any
body would said such offul ting.
"And furthermore, dem Americans
amt be much of chentlemens. 1t
made me so mad. wouldn't stand an
hear such ofel ting. so | turned
around and run NIT der odder boys.
Vas | right? Vat? And oh, papa.
'ou know dem brest plates vot you
ent us-can you send us some to put
N our backs? You know we are GO
ng der odder way now and brest
iates are no good-de cowardly
americans are always shooting us in
err backs
"Some Of our boys took off der
reast plate and put them behind,
ut de fool Americans are playing the !
Star Spangled Banner" nit machine
uns right on dem plates. Can't you
clip usy Remember in your speech,
on sed nothing could stand in front
I de brave German?
Oh, papa, don't believe de ignor-
ut Americans ever read your speech,
N dcy run after us like We vas lot !
, rabbits. Vot you dink of dotP
ont you send dem some of your /,
'eeches right away? Dey don't
how how terrible you are. Can't ]
N move my army back to Belgium
re We won all der time? My men 7
u vip all de vimmin und children
I dem Belgiums can bring us, but
se Americans are so rought and
norant. 4
I've can't make dem understand dot
are der grandest soldiers on earth,
d ven We try to sing Deutschland
er Allies dey laff like lot of monk
5, but We are getting de best of the
nericans. We can out run dem papa.
We are not the best fighters on
rth We are the best runners. No
dy can keep up NIT us ven We think
dot dear old Rhine, und my army
YER did think so much of dot dear
Rhine eder. Let me know vot TO