Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-10-29
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
KAISER PREPARES TO WEAR MUTT
SON BORROws FROM HARDEN


= ner. was privileged to attend the
| Grand Crown Council held in Berlin the
other day. All the crowned skulls Of the
| Empire were present also few Of the
brains. The business Of the meeting was
| to discuss whether Germany was licked or
| only defeated. Also the question of what
to do with the Kaiser was on the table.
Rosner and met wilhelm in the ante.
chamber. He was looking stouter than
when I saw him last and was carrying q
| suit case.
You're looking well,' said. PUT on
| weight, haven't your This sort Of thing
seems TO agree with you"
He smiled family. i've got my civilian
clothes on under my uniform" he said. II
thought 1t best to he prepared for any
emergency. Abdication is rather simplined
II It simply means taking of ones coat
and trousers. 1t was dashed good luck I
kept my civilian suit wasn't II? It's virtu-
ally new, too. I don't think Tve worn II
more than once. That was in 1908. Dear
me, how time fiies'
Doesn't IT." said. Almost as fast as
the Deaths Head Hussars."
Wilhelm looked pained. "You mustn't
make fun of poor wiie" he said Hes
having deuce Of a time. You know he
never had any civilian clothes at all, and
now he's trying to get some made for him
in hurry. The tailor says he can only
make them of paper Imagine willie's
shanks In a pair of brown paper breeks."
Never mind" l said. "St. Helena is a
warm climate, 1 believe"
GIFTS all very embarrassing" he said.
II hardly know what the etiquette is
for an occasion Of this sort. 1t is some-
thing I was never prepared for Do you
suppose Liebknecht would lend me an
extra pair of trousers? I hardly like to go
away with only one pair. And I suppose
Liebknecht will have spilled soup all over
them. Those Socialists are such careless
fellows"
MY dear chap" I said. perhaps every.
thing will work out all right. Very likely
you won't have to- go away at all. You
know, II doesn't make much difference
what sort Of trousers fellow is guillotined
In. No one is disposed to be hypercritical
at time like that. The utmost eniency
and good feeling always prevails on such
occasions"
He looked bit staggered, but Rosner
whispered to him. I could not help over
hearing. american humor," said Rosner.
You must play up to it or you'll never
get preferred position on the front page"
"oh, yes said Wilhelm "The gulllotine,
eh?' Dear, dear. and l shaved this morn.
ing. What a waste of time
To tell the truth, thought better Of him
for this. After all, he has only made the
worst Of bad job.
You Americans have such a robust
sense of humor." Wilhelm said. ITS a bit
overpowerink at times. Now that man
Wilson, when he called me the Intolerable
Thing of which the masters of Germany
have shown us the ugly face Don't you
think that's bit stiff? But perhaps am
| a little morbid today. You know am
going to lose Rosner, and feel dreadfully
about it. I don't know what l shall do
without him.
rs that so?" l said. II hadn't heard.
What are you going to do. Kar?"
I've been offered a perfectly corking
job as publicity man for Swedish match
factory" he said.
We'll" said the Kaiser, II didn't feel
could stand in Karls way since there is
chance for his advancement. But things
| won't be the same. However, he shall have
| brand of fountain pen named after him
in honor of his services"
U0F COURSE" said Wilhelm I'm al
" ways willing to admit it when I'm
right. but in this case I seem to have had
things doped out wrong. Naturally, I'm
| not a bit keen on abdicating. 1t seems
rather a plebeian thing to do. don't you
| Think"
1T has been done in some of the very
| best families" said
"If I do abdicate I shall do so with my
| fingers crossed, so that if things should
| turn out our way I can repudiate it,"
II hope" I said, that II you are gull
| lotined you will also keep your fingers
crossed. Then II they should find mis-
take had been made 1t would be all right"
"The point is this" he said. why
should I abdicate? Why not simply
change the name Of my ONCE? Why, as
far as I can see. President has infinitely
| more power than a Kaiser. Now, why
| shouldn't be a President who wears uni
forms? I wouldn't mind bit being kind
| of hereditary President Of German repub.
| lic The sort of king Albert of Belgium is
you know"
That's easy" said lust give the
Allies three months inside your frontiers,
old chap, and you'll feel good deal like
| Albert"
ElROM the council chamber we heard the
l sounds of tables being pounded and vio.
lent arguments proceeding. I'm gripa times
like these no scruple of taste" Soils voice
was saying Some one else shouted "Foch!"
In a hoarse voice. Athird gutteral kept re-.
peating. Bean him!"
Perhaps we'd better 30 to the meeting" I"
Rosner suggested.
IT think i prefer to stay out here" said