Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-05-02
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GET UP, DEAD MEN, AND FIGHT!

save One-the young officer in charge.
That man stepped up onto firing
bench and looked out and saw COM
ing toward him a charge Of German
soldiers. That man loved France in
his very soul. He could not bear to
see another foot of France taken
away. He turned to those men lying
in the trench and shouted: Dead
men get up" And, stunned and
wounded as they were, enough Of them
got up so that they manned the guns,
drove back the enemy, and held the
trench for France. And I feel that
Liberty is going to say to all Of US:
Get up, dead men! Wake up" So
feel in your souls what your duty is
that you can do the superhuman
thing. Get up and fight this, war;
Frank A Vanderlip.
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THE GIRL WITH THE HOE
Oh, come into the garden, Maud,
For duty calls
And many girlies are abroad
In Overalls.
True patriots will all applaud.
You'll make a hit.
So come into the garden, Maud,
And do your bit.
Louisville Courier-JournaI.
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LETTUCE
IF lettuce could win wars this ma
ton could easily have exterminated
Germany last year. Probably there
was enough lettuce grown in Chicago
alone to have killed off the German
army, but you can't kill Germans
with lettuce. They will not eat it.
This is one of the proofs OF German
efficiency-one Of the few proofs, we
American weaknesses We eat a lot
Of lettuce, we Americans, but nobody
knows why. Perhaps because it is
here And it is here because it is
cheap. It is cheap because it is easy
to grow. It grows with the facility Of
a weed. It is a weed. I demands lit
tie labor and will thrive in any soil
If a good, nutritious vegetable could
be induced to thrive like lettuce, the
world would never starve. The world
starves because it is easier to starve
than to till the soil. We asked a bon
vivant once why he ate lettuce. He
seemed astonished. "Why, I don't
know" he said, 81 always have They
feed it to you, you know. Why
shouldn't I eat it," And, as we could
not answer that, he went on browsing
his weeds. People eat lettuce by sight,
just as they eat Saratoga chips by
ear. Lettuce looks good, but it does
not taste as it looks. You have to
disguise it with many strong condi-
ments in order to get it down. Served
the same way, grass and hay would
taste as well-maybe better. We be-
gin herewith a crusade against let
tuce. We think it is German propa-
ganda. They get us to plant lettuce
and so take up valuable garden space
that could be used to raise something
good to eat. Lettuce won't win the
war-raise Cain! - Chicago Daily
News.
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Everybody in this section knows
that Aft T. Ringing gave Madison an
elephant In these days of high prices
it costs a lot to feed an elephant, but
that will not worry Madison. This re-
minds us of the lines De Wolf Hopper
used to sing in Wang" Here they
are:
The elephant ate all night
And the elephant ate, all day;
Every cent of his earnings went
To keep that beast in hay,
Till he envied the lot of a Hottentot
On Africa's burning sands;
And he curst the within that had sad
died him
With an elephant on his hands.
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Constructive genius in poesy has
succeeded in paraphrasing the little
Quatrain:
Hush, little gin-mill,
Don't you cry;
You'll be drugstore
By and by,
into the timely and useful verse,
Hush, little thrift stamp,
Don't you cry;
You'll be a WarbOnd
By and by
Mr. McAdoo. could hardly ask for
happier lullaby than this.-Christian
Science Monitor.
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AS warning to all those sportively
inclined, the Eldorado (Kan) Repub-
lican says "This town is getting to
be poor pickings for bone dry violat-
ors, as they never seem to stop here
very long without getting jagged"
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THE USUAL THING
brains are better than beauty" she
said;
,Tu,oc DURING on ovonino'c ohot