davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes
THE FLIES

The pesky nis in endless herds. have put me on the blink; l
II the swat crusade has thinned their ranks at all; l wonder y II
really paid to smash them on the wall? For long sad. years weVe
fought the flies in every way re knew; we've soaked the orutes
between the eyes, and pobonei quite a few. We've. blown or
swaters hard earned mon tina. should have gone for pies ana 10Y
that all the toll is done, have we thinned out the hies? We've
caught them in a patent cage, we've crushed them IN their racks
and often, in a seething rage we've slain hen with O n * Wev
sugged them o. the cellar stairs and o the pantry shelvesi re-
punished them with clubs and chairs until w e sprained urselV
We have beset the paths they trod with pitfan and with GIN, anu
spread our tangefoot abroad to rope the blamed things In Ano
was our labor thrown away, our anguish all in vainE N mes
seem just a thick today, as hopelessly insane. Around me count
less legions rise, and buzz and scoot and hum; l counted mneucen
million flies. and still LEI legions come. And i suppose icy
still be thick untlt there comes a frost. For sale: A brand lev
swating stick, at less than half Its cost
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Luke McIukc Says
The Work or Fight order Is a GOOD
thing. The amateur ukelele n sax
aphone players are so tired when
they get home these nights that they
can't do much practicing.
Isn't It wonderful how you like to
listen to a g~ood-looking woman talk
IL you are not married to herr
The Bride who Is proudly sweeping
up the aisle doesn't realize that In
about q year she will be humbly
scrubbing down the woodwork.
Nothing makes a man SO mad as
to ask his wife for half a cup OF cof-
fee and have her NIL n cup 10 the
brim.
A wife may fuss a good deal and
may keep you from doing a lot of
things that you want to 10. But
when you get sick she takes mighty
good care OF you.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Fire Alarm Boxes

22-Raritan Copper Works.
24-Market and Sheridan StreetR
26-Smith Street and Central r. r.
26-Market and First Etreetak
27-Madison Ave. and Paterson St
2s-HiRh and Lewis Streets.
s5-Smlth and High 6treeta-
S6-New Brunswick Ave. and New st.
s7-Smith and State Streets.
42-AtlantIc Terra Gotta Works
l3-BuckinRham Ave and Hartford st.
4B-Commerce and Front Streets.
46-State and Washington SITS.
4T-HiRh and Washington Streets-
B4-State st. and Buckingham Ave.
b5-Parksr st. and Pulaski Ave.
b6-Hall Ave. and Charles st.
S7-State and Wayne Streets.
bs-Near United Lead Works.
b9-Maurer.
e2-WashinEton and First Streets.
63-New Brunswick Ave. and Elm St
e4-SmIth Street and watson Iva
6b-Commerce and STATE Streets.
f2-Front and Smith Streets.
7s-Water and Gordon Streets.
|74-Kearny Ave. and Gordon street.
el-Brace and n Avenues.
fa-Smith and Herber Streets.
g5-Near City Hospital.
STANDBY Ave. and washington st.
s4-LehiRh Ave. and Stanford Street
sb-Nsar City Hospital.
,o4-NeVille and tombstone Streets.
IRe-Cleveland and Brace Avenues
e7-Amboy and Hall Avenues.
|e2-Amboy Ave. and Inslee Street.
e3-Lawrence and Francis Stress.
N-Neville and Johnstons Streets.
ak2b-smith Street and Central n r.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Our Joe NfIIIer Confest

Catcher Wilson, of the Boston
Braves. claims hat the oldest Joke Is
the n about the negro preacher
who delivered a sermon on Daniel IN
the Den OF Lions. An old negro
member of the flock was much i'm
pressed with the sermon, and he
walked home with the parson after
services. "Pahson," said the old
negro. "wuz them really truly lions
that was in the den with Daniel -
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

7 wonder II you COULD" unused the
Rummy, as he stirred his highball.
You wonder IL you could what?"
demanded the. Barkeep.
II wonder IL you could say that an
electrician would make a good cir
cult judge" replied the Rummy. as
he headed for the door.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Said sad Mr.. Bore,
AS he brushed off his clothes;
"A rap on the door
Is worth two on the nose"
Luke McLuke.
Said a pro-German crank,
AS he caught himself reeling;
"A bat on the nose
Follows bats in the ceiling"
North Georgia Citizen,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Bliss

Did she marry happily? 2" asked
the First Woman.
II should say So" replied the Sec
ond Woman. why, her alimony
amounts to 5000 a month"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Par,hx Correct

Since Major General Hell, formerly
Won Mackensen's chief of staff, has
been leading the retreat of the hun
forces, we suppose 1t is all right to
say that the Americans are fighting
to beat He'll.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Fooeyi

A hypocrite is Dealer Dare,
He's boarding worldly treasures;
He is q man who's long on prayer,
And short on weights and measure
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Answer to Corrcspondents

Anxious: The fact that you saw
pink elephants in your bedroom last
night should not cause you worry.
But II a herd of red, white and blue
elephants should call on you, you
had better either cut out the booze
or see a specialist.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

In view of what seems to be COM
ing right along, 1t having already ar
rived in Houston, we feel like saIut-
ing Luke McLuke with, "Be OF good
cheer; 1t won't seem bad when you
have company" In other words, the
worst thing about riding on the water
wagon is not the drouth. but the lone
liness.-Houston Post.
Water, water everywhere and not
a drop (of anything else) to drink,
eh?-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

An awful joke I'm telling you,
You won't drop dead, I hope:
But. speaking of the point of view,
There Is the periscope.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
HelpI

We wrote this little rhyme for fun,
Some day. friend, you will learn,
That, while the water has to run.
The fire has time to burn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Rouse Nit Demi

FtOuSc NIL DefnI
vbgkqj etaoin shrdlu cmfwyp xzihff-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Etaoin Shrdlu and Cmfwyp are all
good American names. But how did
them two Huns. Vbgkqj and Xzhfff
get into the line-up7
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
AUTOMOBILE
INSURANCE

Your new car may Do
damaged or destroyed by
fire. 1t may be stolen
White driving it you may
unavoidably injure or
cause the death of some
person. You may damage
the property Of others or
do some damage to your
own ear. Our automobile
policies cover all these
contingencies.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Bits of By-PIay
BY LUKE AcLUKE.
Copyright 1916. the Cincinnati
ED0uirar.
AIercyi

The glazier is a drunken ass.
He is a rummy slob;
They say he has to have his glass
Before he'll do a job.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

"Dey s~uttenly wuz." replied the par
son. "Wuz dey fee-rocious ions like
they Is in a circus" asked the old
negro. well, no. Not exactly lions
like they is in a circus" replied the
parson. "Yo' see, dis happened in
b. c., meanin' befo' ~circuses."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Willie-Paw. what is a pitched
battle7
Paw-A fifteen-inning baseball
game without a run, my son..
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

What you don't know DOES
hurt you-if you drink 1t.
The one thing you cant afford
not to know about Is the milk
you give your children.
If it's CERTIFIED, that means
a board of physicians who DO
know, assert that it is safe.
II it's CERTIFIED. that's all
you need know.
Wood Brook Milk is CERT
FLED.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Cole & Cole are coal dealers In
Greenfield, Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03
Visitors Always Welcomed
WOOD o R
N. J..

Orders received at Seaman's
Pharmacy. Phone Perth Am
boy 200 or phone direct TO the
farm.
No. ITO Metuchen
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Our Daily Special
Every Square Man Has a Circle OF
Friends.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-03

Names Is Names
,yne lives in Tacoma, W
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20

DUBUQUE. June eo.--American food
stocks increasing because Of the efforts
OF farmers were classed as an additions
al guarantee OF the successful outcome
Iof the war by Secretary OF Agriculture
Houston in an address before the Iowa
Bankers Association today.
Along With HE presentation o: AZ
ures summarizing agricultural accom-
plsshment. he called upon the residents
OF cities and towns TO see that bountiful
haryests promised does not waste be-
cause OF labor shortage.
This war will not be won by Amer
lean enchantment There can be no
turning back. no faltering, no hesita
ton.
I'VE are determined to teach the
lesson that law must rule among ma
tions as among individuals and the
prevention Of a recurrence OF such
calamity as this"
Farmers Respond 20 Call.
As to agricultural efforts during 1917
Secretary Houston said The farmers had
responded heartily TO the call OF. the
NEEDY people for food
TURNER'S planted 2a.oCo.ooc acrss
more In leading food crops In 1917 than
In 1916" he added. They GreAtiy In
creased the number Of live stock in
spite OF expectations. They Increased
the number OF milch cows by $4,000
Of other cattle by nearly 1000. 900: the
number OF sheep. for the frst time in
generation and half by i.so0. 900.
and Of swine by nearly 4.0OO.O0O In
spite OF expectation OF horses and
mules. they increased the number by
100000. The Indications are that they
will do even better this year.
Will Not Fail Thru Food Lack.
I'VE shall not fail to win the war be-
cause OF food shortage and need not
point out to bankers tho large bearing
OF this enormous production on the
foundations and machinery OF finance
and credit.
These statements mean another
things, They mean difficulties OF hnr-
vesting. 1t is a matter OF patriotism and
business for you to omit no effort to
help In the matter OF labor supply. This
duty Is Of the most urgent and impel
ling character in the crisis.
TAXATION, especially on consumption.
more particularly on luxuries and also
on excessive profits not only tends to
saving. to check investment in nom
essential directions. but also TO keep
down the general level Of prices and to
lessen the financial obligations OF the
nation. am convinced that the people
OF the nation are willing to pay the
necessary taxes and that the tinanccs
recognize the necessity OF sound g.
nances."
I'VE fight nation that knows no Law
except it's own law OF necessity made in
Prussia, exclusively interpreted by her
and to be changed by her ar will he
said in summing up causes OF the world
conflict
J. II 1ngerson. Of Clinton. was elect
ed president Of the Iowa Bankers' AS
socia ton at the final business session
this morning OF their thirty second
convention held here.
NJ H. Caulderwood. OF Eldridge, wac
named vice president. and o. r. Prayer.
OF Fairfield. treasurer.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
TO CUT LIGHT AND GAS USE.
Public Will Be Called Upon to Save
Coal For Use Of InLustries

Washington, June -o.-The public
will be asked soon by the government
to broaden the list Of wa sacrifices to
include electric lights ard gas, as =
means Of saving fuel.
Conferences between representatives
Of the fuel ADMINISTRATION. the war
industries board and the shippin s
board have developed tns,f every phase
Of Americas warmaklng Is dependent
in the final analysis on COAL The
fuel administration has warned the
nation THAT :ha visible supply OF coal
will not cover the needs OF war indus
tries householders and private indus
tries, and a beginning mas been made
In curtailing the use OF fuel for nom
war manufacturing.
Questions now have been raised.
however, az to why private citizens,
whose self denial has made 1t pos
sible to feed the allies and the Amer
lean soldiers abroad should not also
give UP other daily comforts for the
sake Of the country II thereby they
may ease up the demand on the coal
supply.
Instead Of shutting down all nom
throwing many persons out Of en-
ployunent and reducing the economic
resources an effort will be made TO
effect such q reduction In the pri-
vate consumption OF coal that many
factories will be enabled to operate
part time at least
One suggestion being studied is TO
notify all households that they may
consume hereafter only half OF tho
average amount OF electricity and gas
burned each month during the past
year. II that amount should be
reached before the end OF the month.
the supply would be cut OF for the
remaining days OF that month. In
dustries In each town would have
available for necessary work the
amount of current or gas saved, and
where there was not sufficient essen
tial work to utilize 50 much. there
would result u saving or fuel.
Compensation to the public utilities
companies for their loss In business
has been taken UP on,y tentatively as
vet.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
rBy the Associated Press.l

Italian Army HEADQUARTERS, Juno 10.
Realization that the Austrian Of
fensive has failed Is spurring the
Italians to a Stubborn resistance along
the Piave. Heavy fghting ensued about
Montello to the north. On Montello op-
posing forces frequently Stun rcd upon
each other unexpectedly.
The spirit Of the italian troops is at
high pitch. despite wounds loss Of
sleep and constant movement nude
necessary by change in terrain.
Complete Control Ct Air.
The Italians have won complete con-
troll OF the air on the Piave line. This
afternoon not single Austrian ma
chine was aloft on this front.
In general the situation Of the Aus
TRANS along the Piave appears far
from satisfactory to them
Prisoners taken by the Italians all
declare the Austrian army has little
ecod. Some OF the prisoners had not
eaten for FORTY eight hours.
4 staff Deserts Brave Austro General.
Deserted by his staff on the Montello
plateau. Major General Won Kronstadt,
4 OF the Austrian army, fought single
rnnded against the Italian ardiu until
wounded seriously. The general died
later in hospital.
It seems that the general and his
staff became lost In the woods Of
Montello and ran into unit Of the
additi. When the members of the star
saw the Italian soldiers they ran
away. The general was called upon
to surrender, hrt refused and opened
fire on the ardlti. In the exchange
Ct shots he received his death wound.
A "Hunger Offensive"
That Austrll's drive against Italy is
positively . nunser offensive mas
been proven by new orders and ad-
dresses signed on prisoners.
These wers signed by officers rang
ing, from Fifid Marshal Conrad Won
HcetzeadorE down &c rcS.mcnta,
commanders. One issued by the COM
Mander Of the famous regiment bear
ing TIE name Of Archduke Charles
says:
Soldiers. remember tho spoils we
got last fall from the Italians: the
sheep, COWS, warehouses full OF good
clothes, ond grocery stores full OF
wines, canned goods. flour and sugar;
think Of your families; think Of the
white bread you may win for all"
& Eating Straw Broad.
TIE correspondent has visited
Gyoups Of hilndrcds o3 prisoners, all 0f
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
FACTORY POWER POOLED.

ManufacturSa Of lows, Illinois and
Indiana TO Co. epsrsts.
Chicago, June aao.--Manufacturers OF
Ininois, Indiana and Iowa met in. the
Congress Hotel Tuesday and took the
/ first steps toward forming an organ
ization In accordance with the plan OF
the war Industries board. Lucius
Teter. recently appointed organizer OF
the Chicago regional industrial COM
mission, presided.
Mr.. Teter explained that the new
organization :: to handle all orders
which will cone into this district for
all war supplies to be purchased by
the government
r. B. Beach, business manager OF
the Chicago Association OF Commerce,
read a letter from Charles A. Otis,
chief of the eection OF resources and
conversion OF The war industries board.
Mr.. Beach then explained the manner
in which the entire country has been
divided sup into districts. and how the
business will be handled under the
direction Of the war Industries board.
The zone will include greater por-
tions Of Indiana, Illinois and Iowa.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
Germany Forced to
Admit U-Boats Have
Not Met Expectations

London, June 20.-The German w.
boats are unequal TO the warfare
against them is virtually the admission
of Captain Percisus. the naval critic
of the Berliner Tageblatt, says a Rot
terdam dispatch to the Daily Telegraph
Captain Percisus writes
Every layman knows that U-boat
losses are unavoidable owing to the
increasing sharpness and
effectiveness of the defensive measures
OF the enemy, which perhaps will be
Increased as the war progresses.
1T is scarcely to be denied that the
enemy are both carrying on the war
and living, and that it will be possible
for them to defend Themselves against
tonnage needs for some time to come.
At the beginning of the submarlna war
fare we underestimated the, thorough
ness of our enemies.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
Important Attack Fails More
Completely Than Any
Other.
FURTHER PROOF OF
GERMAN WEAKNESS
Army Of Crown Prince Showing Itself
Incapable Of Prolonged Effort - Al
lies Enthused by Defeat Of German
Efforts and Constant Stream Of
American Reinforcements - Quiet
on Enti' West Front.

Tho German crown prince has
not repeated his attacks before tho
defenses of RHEIMS, where 10000 Of
his troops wore reoilsed with
heavy loss in night attack Tues
day.
Tho front there again is quiet
and tho French maintain their
positions. Berlin says the effort
"ss more an artillery and mine
throwing bombardment than an in
fantry attack, but all other ac-
counts agree tho effort was in great
force and that it was broken up in
desperate fighting.
East Of Chateau Thierry Aneri-
can patrols have crossed tho Marine
IN boats and bested enemy patrols
in encounters. In addition to kill
ing a large number Of Germans tho
raiders brought back prisoners.
American bombing planes again
have bombarded comHani, rail
way Junction midway between YER
dun and Metz, dropping thirty
eight bombs.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
Coast Steamer Escape. U.soat.

A Gulf Port, June 26.-A coastwise
passenger steamship which arrived
here late yesterday reported encoun-
tering German submarine last Sat
urtlay of the coast of South Carolina.
Tho steamer made good her escape be-
cause of superior speed and wireless
calls for help which led the U-boat to
give up the chase.
I Officers Of the steamer sighted the
submersible at distance OF about
mile. The steamer began q zig-zag
course. As the steamer forged ahead
and began working her wiIeless the
submarine dropped astern ana was not
seen again,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20

y hom are thin and weak. They SAID
they hal little food the past months.
A sample of The black bread showed
| Il was made Of rye straw and potatoes.
Many of the prisoners have strong
we'll spiked shoes, but these they claim
they made themselves or bought. Tho,r
clothes, however, are falling apart
having been patched frequently. Mos'
of them have mere rags for shirts. Inc
majority Of the prisoners have money
but it is either in paper bills or iron
coin. The most of them wear inedals
for valor, some of them having two OF
three Of them, but these decorations
are Of base metal and none are OF goio
or silver One is stamped with like
ness Of Empress Zita and encircled
with laurel leaves and is made OF q
zinc composition. The prisoners part
readily with these medals for 1e"
pennies Of Italian money. Most OF those
captured are young.
Surrender to Get Food.
The Italian soldiers tell humorous
stories of captures effected by per-
suading the Austrians that they will
be we'll fed. One Italian officer who
had been wounded and picked up by
group Of Austrians, explained how TOOL
ish they were. He said:
Come with me, and you will get
meat, wine and real bread" There
upon the whole party went over to. the
Italian lines.
It is said also that at the beginning
of the offensive the Austrians IN the
front line each received three rations
of meat. one for each day of the at
tack until they reached the Italian
stores. They were so hungry. however
that they ate all the first day.
Airnen Destroy Battery Float.
AS thousands/of Italian and Austrian
soldiers looked OH today an Italian air
plane brought about the surrender OF
Ia crew Of an Austrian machine gun
roat after the Italian infantry and ar
til.ery had failed to subjugate 1t. The
Austrians brought the float UP on the
swollen P!aye river to point on the
south bank occupied by the Italians.
From this vantage point the Austrians
poured a harassing fire into the 1tal-
ians, who tried in vain to destroy the
float. It was impossible to use light
artillery because Of the proximity OF
the italian artillery to the italian lines
Finally an airplane swooped down
causing the crew Of the float to swim
to the opposite bank Of the river ana
surrender.
Italian aviators have spent days at a
time in the air, thereby virtually secur-
ing control Of the air and also prevent
ing bombardment Of cities behind the
lines rs
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20

patches to German newspapers say
that reduction OF bread rations in Aus
trii- Hungary caused immense excite
tmeft thruout the dual monarchy. All
papers. without distinction Of party. ask
the removal OF the order and demand
immediate help from Germany.
The socialist party committee has
addressed an appeal to the workers to
await n decision from the labor party
and to abstain from all interruption OF
work. The committee is expected to
make sharp protest against the re-
strictton OF the bread ration and says
it will decline all responsibility for en-
forcement Of the measure
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
R.nsw. Pie. For Intervention.

Paris, juno 2o.-BasAo Maklakoff.
the Russian ambassador 20 France. re-
iterates In an interview printed In
the Petit Journal, his appeal to the
allies for Intervention IN Russia, say
ing such action Is absolutely neces-
sary.
''The future of Russia" says NJ.
.Maklakoff, depends on victory for the
entente, allies. which will De the saliva
ton Of humanity. Allied intervention
is necessary to allow disarmed Rus
sia to meet the Germans on the battle
field.
1.-THE allies must help the popula-
tion of the districts were the boil
shevih and the Germans are not mas
ters Of the situation"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
lNplcT PoMERoN PREACHER.
Rev. Mr.. Sehuman Hold on Charge OF
Violating Espionage Act.

Fort Dodge. June 20.-Rev. Mr.
Schuman, preacher Of Pomeroy. was
indicted on two counts, charging viola
ton Of the espionage act, by the federal
grand jury in session here today. He
will be given a hearing Friday. The
indictment charges that Schuman
preached a disloyal sermon.
Fred A. Granzow, Of Mason City. was
indicted on three counts. charging
violation Of the espionage act.
James Williams. of Mason City, an
attorney, and Gus Pelatkus were fined
500 and sentenced to three months in
Jail for. the illegal transportation Of
LIQUOR. Steve Pantzas was fined $3.50
and sentenced to three months in Jail
on the same charge
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-06-20
URGE PAPER CONSERVATION.
Appeal Again Made to Publishers to
Reduce Consumption.

Washington. June 20.-Publishers
were again urged by the federal trade
commission to reduce consumption Of
news print paper in a statement today
showing there was no great saving In
May following an appeal. There was
slight decrease in returns. free copies.
"oyers" and in arrears" using news
print, but a considerable increase in
the percentage of return copies Of
semi monthly and monthly periodicals.
Several important newspapers showed
excessive returns, two in New York
showing over &c per cent