davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Luke McLuke Says

If you don't believe that a woman can keep secret, just ask her her age.
 A man spends half his life trying to get g woman and the other half try ing to get away from her.
 Would il be proper to say that a jolly old bachelor who is bald leads a gay and hairfree life?
 Remember, that if you know nothing but your own business you come pret- ty near knowing all there is need to know
 A woman will attend a party dolled up in a S100 gown and s900 worth of jewels and then sweat and wranglc for five hours trying to win a 39-cent prize.
 Any time a man offers to buy you a drink. you should accept the invita- ton in the spirit in which it was of fered.
 Nature knows her business There isn't one girl in thirty who isn't knock kneed and this is that keeps the length of the skirt below the knee caps. A woman thinks a whole lot of the lingerie in which she was married and
  orally comes when she will cut it up to make an outfit for Baby.
 Any man who knows the mean dis position of an auto engine wonders why an aviator takes chance with the blame things.
 When it takes a man five minutes 10 look up a number and five minutes more to learn that the line is Bus s-s-c-e-e-e," it is hard to make him re- alize that the telephone is a time saver A man doesn't mind having to dodge q big, denified- d-looking touring car. But it makes him mad all over to have to jump out of the way of a Henry. What has become of the old-fashioned man who used to go around the house in his socks and who thought that onlx dudes wore slippers?
 Every wife knows that other womens husbands are more attentive to them than her husband is to her
 Ask any man to spell 'IIallelujah" for you and the betting is that he will spell it "Hallelulu."
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

fish" said the nar- Iuck man. That's bet" said the stranger. They went into the store and asked the proprietor what sort of a fish it was and he re- piled that it was a catfish. "Aint that h-l," said the hard luck man. as he paid over the ten dollars Here l had everything that swims from min tow up to a whale running for my mon ey and this blame thing had to be a catfish
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
FOR DOUBTERS
(Saturday Evening Post)

Saturday Evening PosD
 The Kaiser win this war! Say he defeats Italy. Say he defeats France Say he gets peace with Russia and has his will in the Balkans and in Poland Even then his position will be rela lively less strong than Napoleon's once was
 The United States, Great Britain and Japan can still shut him from the seas. With all the raw ma terial resources of North America and South Amer ica Australia Africa and most of Asia to draw upon, and with command of salt water. they can maintain an economic blockade until the people of Germany set up peoples government with which lasting peace be made.
 The United States and Great Britain will never surrender to triumphant Prussan militarism On the sea and in the ar-f the very worst happens on landthey will keep the fight until the basis of enduring peace appears.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Our Joe Miller Contest.

Steve" Raymond claims that the old est joke is the one about the champion hard luck man who never could win a bet. One day he saw big fish hang ing in front of store and he asked a passer-by what kind of a fish it was. Tt is a catfish" replied the stranger. "Fll bet you ten dollars it isn't a cat
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Alta Bowl

Luke McLuke, the eternal fitness of things though crushed to earth will rise again. Major Charles A. Meals is Assistant Division Quartermaster as Camp Logan, Houston.-(Houston PosD
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

a hurry. But what we started to say was that pr. Rush, the dentist, has an office in the City Bank Building, Mo bile Alabama.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Betcha !!
out he had tried,

To saw his way out he had tried,
 speak of angry convict Hook, Then said when bars his work deiied
 "Tho Pen is mghter than the Crook"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
The Only One.

Eve was a wonder. 1ully gee! To this fact I'll attest; She never turned around to see How other danes were dressed.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Huh 1!

There's nothing new under the sum-" said the Bachelor.
 That's right" agreed the Benedict, mot even a good excuse.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
The Wise Fool.

''The more some people have the more they want" observed the Sage.
 You are not talking about trouble, are you?' commented the Fool
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Packages.

He won't carry packages under his arm, For he is dignified rummy; And yet this same fellow can see no
 great harm
 In carrying them in his tummy.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Well. Well!

When you are in Chicago and need pair of shoes you can c. A. Leather man at the Rosenbach Shoe Company.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
More Thrilling Information.

It takes eight and one-third minutes earth.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

The Japanese General who remarks that Japan is ready to join the Allies in might complete the information by explaining who is holding her back-( (Pittsburg Dispatch)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Should Say Not.

A. w WinalI. of Cincinnati. wants to Snow if he can get into the stud game It the Club.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

Fight like the devil!" exclaims Mir. Bryan. We congratulate Mir. Bryan for being the Colonel more Our regards, Colonel Bryan-(St. Louis Globe Democrat.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Oh !

'I see that old Smith is dead" said Brown. What was the trouble"
 "Oh, he worked himself to death earning money to purchase all the la bor saving devices" replied Jones.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

With all the women and children gone and many are treasures removed, there to be no good reason why the Germans should desire to lombard Venice.-(New York Word.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

We could be rejoiced over MT Hoover's prediction of lower food prices by January 15 if we weren't busy feeling foolish having hooroyed and whoopaed at the recent predictions of cheaper coal.-( Macon Telegraph.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Form in Line, Girls. Don't Crowd

(Ad in sharon, Pa. Herald.) WANTED Sewing by the day, $1.50. Miss Fitting. Phone SS l..
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke Copyright by Cincinnati Enquirer
Fact.

Fact. It takes long years of constant aim To gain the pinnacle of fame, But there are men who when they win it, Can tumble down in one brief minute,
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

German statesmen may from time to time consd. peace. but cant detect anything that indicates that the Kaiser does. He's welded to his idol -(St. Louis Globe -Democrat.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

Now the War Department announces that mar ried men will be accepted. Mr. Baker begins this is a in which the country will need fighters who have had experence-( Houston Post.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

The declaration of against Austria was abso utely unanimous. Representative Meyer London voted in the negative.-(Chicago Herald.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Oh, Joy! 1!

When a man has to get into den- tai chair he wants the work done in
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

The Kaiser expects to regain the respect of the world by the sword. And the poisoned well and the mangled children, too.-(Detroit Free Press)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Our Daily Special

A Cheap Sport Makes An Expensive Friend.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Mercy!

We hope he isn't referring to the members fthe Club. but. anyway, o. U. Mutz lives in Edinburg, Ind.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

Headquarters for Ladysmith coal lnneau Transf. Co. phone 48.. ti
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

TWO IN ONE - The EMPIRES way for everybody. The EMPIRES ads" keeps the housewife informed of all sales and the news columm are right up to the minute on tho tay's neWS.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02
Fact.

I've been in many cities, From Frisco to Norwal< But l never met q barber Who didn't like to talk.
 Luke McLuke.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

Names Is Names. A. Subject lives in Elyria, o.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-02

l, too, have often travelled By trolley. train and ship; But 1 never saw a waiter Who wouldn't take a tip.
 Newark Advocate.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

In England at the ontset Of the
War there were rbout $50 women
employed by the railroads-today
there are more than $4,000. In
banks there were a few-telephon-
lists only today there are more
than $4,000. The same conditions
are coming in this country. With
in the next few months young wo-
men living in Nebraska, Kansas,
South Dakota, Colorado and Wy
oming are going to be requested to
step in and take the places of
young men who are being called to
the Colors. Are you qualified
If not it will pay you to enter the
we'll known Grand Island Business
College of Grand Island, Neb.; at
once for a thorough course in Ac-
tual Business Training-the Old
est and Leading Business Train
ing School west of the Mississippi
river. Adv. 401
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

tration planned by the State Coun-
Gil of Defense and the United
States Employment Service for
South Dakota has been postponed.
1t is felt that to proceed would
likely result in two registrations,
and this, considering the keen de-
mand for every hour of time and
every effort now, would be a mis-
fortune. The vocational registra-
ton is needed to protect the agri-
cultural production of South Da-
kota, as the draft of the men for
war industries must be met, and
at the same time, we must not al
low men to be taken from agricul-
ture or from the essential war in
dustries in South Dakota. 1t is
hoped the latter may be increased
and our men employed here in
stead of being taken to remote
factories.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12


This week we are sending out
duns to our subscribers. The re-
cent ruling of the government
forces us to do this. All subscrip-
tions must be in ADVANCE, O.
therwise we must discontinue send
ing the paper. Hence if your
sub. expired, say a month ago, do
not feel offended if you receive a
dun. but take the addressed enve-
lope which comes with the dun
and send the amount to advance
your sub. if you want the paper
without delay. Our subscribers
know as much as we do about the
situation during these war times,
and we are sure they will respond
generously.
Editor.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
Heed This Advice

Many who have, purchased Lii
berty bonds are now holding in
vestment security for the first
time. Most of these bonds are
coupon bonds that must be care
fully guarded for if lost they can
not be replaced any more than
would the loss Of $40 bill be
made good. Many thousands of
dollars have already been lost ac-
cording to government reports.
Most of these lost bonds are Of the
hundred dollar denomination. ma
ny of the FIVE hundred and large
numbers Of the one thousand size
Coupon bonds are for those who
have safety-deposit boxes. They
are payable to bearer and if lost
or stolen the person getting it can
only cash it by committing a for
gerry and payment of the bond or
it's interest can be stopped. On
proof of loss and giving of securi
ty another bond can be secured.
There is such a vast amount of
savings wrapped up in these cou,
pom bombs as makes it matter OF
serious Importance, worthy of the
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

att ntion Of those who can i'll af-
ford to take the chances of a loss.
Common business prudence
should cause every one to get re-
gistered bonds. Also those who
wish can convert their 81 and 4
per cent bonds into those bearing
AZ per cent interest. The sim
plest way is to consult your bank
er. Or, II letter to Secretary Of
the Treasury division of loans and
currency will secure you form
l031." This form filled out pro-
perly is sent with your bond, to
the Treasury or to any Federal
Reserve bank BY EXPRESS.
The Treasury makes no charge for
making the change and will return
you a registered bond by register
ed letter. If you also want to
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12


Nelson Weeks, who had been
running the King elevator for the
past two months while regular
manager Koletzky was threshing,
left Monday for Kimball to take
charge of an elevator there.
Edward Bohaty, a relative of
the Trunec family, after a pro-
longed stay here returned to his
houe in Omaha Tuesday.
Miss Emma Obr left for Sioux
City Tuesday for visit with her
sister, Mrs. Chas. Sears. :
Both the Public aud Parochial
schools of this place opened the
school year Monday with a good
attendance.
Mike Smith, August Seiner and
their families of near Wagner
spent Sunday here visiting rela-
tives.
The old pump house has been
torn down by FIR. Carda and John
Houser last week and new, lar
ger building put up. The town
intends to install an electric motor
there in addition to the gasoline
engine.
The new selective draft law, re.
quiring the registration of men
from 18 to 45 years Of age for mi
litary duty, will no doubt decrease
the man power of the agriculture
class of this state. The Council
of Defense of this state urges that
farmers who have 320 acres, seed
at least from 80 to 100 acres to fall
wheat and rye within the next five
weeks in addition to other crops.
This is an important question and
one that is strongly advised by the
War Department as we'll as the
Agricultural Dept. of the Federal
Government.
Matt and Joseph Merkvan ano
their wives were Yankton visitors
Tuesday.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
Gallon Petrol Equals
SO Pounds Dynamite.

Oh i VuAASAo Dy hoAasASSs
Many automobile owners do not
fully realize the danger connected
with the careless handling of gaso-
line. They recognize the explo.
sive power of the liquid, but few
of them know how great that ex.
plosive power is. A writer in an
automobile trade magazine seeks
to make this clear and more i'm.
pressive by comparing the explo-
sive power of gasoline with that
of dynamite. He says that gaso.
line, even at low temperature, con
stantly develops an explosive va.
por. Five gallons of gasoline will
generate 5000 cubic feet of gas,
which, if ignited, expands 1900
times. One gallon of gasoline,
properly mixed with air and com.
pressed, is equal to about IS
pounds of dynamite in explosive
force. What makes gasoline par
ticularly dangerous is the fact that
it is more readily ignited and ex
ploded than dynamite. Popular
Scianca MONTHLY.
Statements of the two local
banks appear on page 5.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

change bonds to AZ interest
rate, so state, and ask for Form.
l.. and &. 25." But if you OILY
want to register ask for blank
1881" But the change into a AZ
bond must be asked for before
Nov. 9, 1918. The immense n
mount of effort put forth in the is
suance Of these billions of dollars
in bond securities has been syste-
matized to II point of perfection.
Every possible protection has been
thrown around investors. Secre-
tary McAdoo has urged all rail
road employees-they are under
his supervision-to to register their
bonds or take special care of what
they have and the same advice is
good for our readers. Attend to
it.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

The vocational registration of
men from Is to 65 years did not
take place today as announced in
the Independent last week, with
the military registration of men
from Is to As, but will take place
at later date and because of this
the industrial or vocational regis
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

Mrs. Fr. Kostroun, Miss Rose
Novak and James Novak left Mon
day for Omaha for a visit with re
latiVes.
John p. Vikla, nursery man
from Lonsdale, Minn., arrived
here Wednesday on business.
Monsignor Bouska left Wednes-
day for Omaha to attend the fune-
raj of Father Chundelak a we'll
known priest of Omaha, organizer
of the Catholic Sokol and writer.
Old Pioneers Reunion will be
held in Springfield, Thursday,
Sept. 10. The program commen-
ces at II a. m. Gov. Norbeck and
Adj. Gen. Morris will be the
speakers. All Home Guard Com
panies of the Comfy are request
ed to participate in uniform.
Emil Blachnik left Monday for
Jacksonville, Fla, for special SER
vice in the army, as butcher and
cattle buyer. Mrs. Blachnik and
little Evelyn will live with her pa
rents, Mr.. and Mrs. John Jancik,
meanwhile.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
Editor.

Sell your eggs to John F. Mike
lasek, who pays highest market
price for them at all times. Adv.
Try some of our Monarch paint
and varnishes. The best on the
market. Ptak Lumber Yard Adv
The Security Mutual Life Ins.
Go. gives advantages that many
others do not. See v. j. Wag.
ner about it. Adv.
We pay highest market price for
cream and eggs. Kostel & Co.
Adv.
See V. j. Wagner of Lester
vile about your life Insurance,
He represents the Security Mu-
tual Life Ins. Co. Adv.
Emil Koenig. of Tyndal, landed
in trouble here Labor Day, by
bringing a few half-pints of whis-
KEY with him for treat for his
friends. Deputy U. S. Marshal,
Woods Smith, discovered the con-
dition of affairs and after making
investigation, found a dozen half
pints in Mr.. Koenig's car. The
gentleman in question, is now out
ON 81, 900 bail, and he feels mighty
bad over the affair, too. Wagner
Eagle.
j. A. Wagner returned Wednes
day from Camp Stever, Lake &C.
neva, Wis, where he had taken a
14-day intensive military course.
James liked it very much, and said
there was something doing all the
time. He also stopped in Chicago
on his return.
Mrs. Marion Champion, daugh.
ter of Mr.. and Mrs. S. PAuly OF
this place, was married to l.. R.
Chesebrough in Huron.
Lost a new brown coat west OF
Tabor, Sunday. Rudolph By
stricky. Adv. 9-121
Harness and collars for sale al
Skorpik's, at lowest prices. Adv,
Some people do not know that
they should remove their hats
when the American flag passes
them in a parade. Likewise, men
should remove their hats when the
National Anthem, THE STAR
SPANGLED BANNER" is play.
ed or sung.
A Red Cross Day will be held al
Bonhomme Tuesday, Sept. 18th,
Program of the day is as follows
10 am. speech by Lieut.. Gov.
McMasters of Yankton; II am,
dinner served by the ladies; j pm
Sale of Articles. Dance in the e.
vening in the r. E. Slater barn,
music by Ryan orchestra. AL
are invited to come.
Brewing of beer will be prohi
bited after December 1st, 1918
This decision was reached at
conference of Pres. Wilson with
the representatives of the fuel
food and railroad administration
and the war Industries board,
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

The 4 days old infant son Of
Mr.. and Mrs. John Hatwan died
of convulsions Monday. Funeral
was held Tuesday afternoon and
burial in the cemetery north of
Scotland. We extend our sympa-
thy to the bereayed parents
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
WorS From are,r Williams.

Oars land huff ter feed de worl',
but don't miss de feet dat It needs
cosYin' After you Sit in good workin'
hmnor, yo2 got ter make de lard fees
good. Hits de or.y way ter have
hiIpy time all 'roun'.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

County Judge G. G Pickett of
Tyndall. part owner and editor of
the Tyndall Tribune. left Tuesday
for Camp Pike, Little Rock, Ark.
for military training. His place
as editor will be taken up by Miss
Matte Metzger.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
At the r1OVieS
KAISER
The Beast Of Berlin

will be shown in the Opera House
Saturday and Sunday. Sept. IA
and Is, in 7 reels. Dance will fol
low the pictures Saturday, music
by the Opera House orchestra.
Beginning on both evenings at
$3.50 p. m. sharp. This is the
greatest play vet shown and
proves why germany must be de-
feated. Come and see the Beast.
Everybody is invited to come.
Pro-germans especially invited.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
Card of Thanks.

We wish to extend our sincere
thanks to our kind friends and
neighbors who assisted US during
the illness and death of our
Darling Baby.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. H. Hatwan.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
Notice to Pupils.

Pupils desiring to enroll in the
Tabor Public School, who will be
six years of age by January, 1919,
should enter now. No new class
will be formed later.
G.. G.. Allard.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12
The TABOR STATE BANK

Capital and Surplus $30,o00.0o
JOS. V. Wagner, President.
j. A. Wagner, Vice-President
Thos. j. Wagner, Cashier
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1918-09-12

price for /
& Co. |
F. Miko
market
!. Adv. |
ch paint
on the
ard Ady
eggs to |
receive
Adv. |
Life Ins. |
at many
j. Wag- |
Adv. |
i Lester |
nsurance,
rity Mu- |
Adv.
int doing
Apply to
8 22f
for sale.
s. Chas.
9-5f
e ~ inch
pms. Jos.
8 29f.
ktween Ia
Ee at Inde-
9-5f
is hereby
ny premi'
nters will
for per-
permission
J. Rezac.
ST
The Cordova daily times., 1918-05-08
DISLOYAL ACTIONS
 TO BE DEALT WITH

WASHINGTON, May 8. - Final legislative action was taken yesterday the sedon b which gives to the govern ment powers in dealing with all manner of dsova ac
 tons The house adopted the conference report which already had been approved by the senate and sent to President Vii son for signature He expected to sign the bill promptly on its receipt
 The bill provides penalties of twenty years imprisonment fines of $OOO boh for those convected uttenc or printing disoya abusive, profane scurious conemp tuous language about the United States its government or form of government about the flag
The Cordova daily times., 1918-05-08
TROOPS AND SUPPLIES ARE IN READINESS FOR HUNS
THREATEN TO 0STRACIZE
 TEUT0NS FROM MARKETS

NEW YORK, May 8. - Prussian frightfulness de noced and the determination of the United States wipe 1t out emphasized at a Lusana memorial mass meeting held in Carnegie hal under the auspices of te American Rights League last night.
 Former President Roosevelt Senator Robert L. Owen, of Oklahoma, and Charles S. Fairfield former seueary of the treasury, the speakers. The latter presided.
 Ostracism from the markets of the world until they ready accede to the principles of international law urg ed the penalty to be inflicted upon the Germans Ausrans Bulgarians, and Turks The sentiment popular with the audience which cheered the speakers repeatedly.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-05-08
VERACITY PREMIER
 BEEN QUESTIONED

LONDON May 8.-A political crisis involving t1e tenure of office of the Lloyd George has arisen 1 Eng land letter written by General Maurice formerly chief director of the military office, stating that the cabinet 1d de ceved the country and parliament about army affairs iii which he questioned the veracity the Premier and Chancellor Law
 between Bonar Law the representative of the and former Premier Asquit which resulted in the govern monts acceptance of Asquiths motion that the house discuss the form of inquiry which is to benade General Maurice statements.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-05-08
ARE REFUSED
 EAST OF JORDAN RIVER

CONSTANTINOPLE May 8. = An official Turkish statement that the British troops attacking the east side of the river Jordan in Palestine have repused by the Turks who brought and compelled the Brit ish to retreat toward the river.
 The British suffered heavy losses, The Turks still in pursuit, and have captured much booty.
 It was briefly announced Saturday last that the Brit sh had been Withdrawn in this region order to strengthen their nes but had left strong attachments the bank of the Jordan