The Washington herald., 1918-07-10
Good Men Who Are Bad Husbands
BY DOROTHY DIX
THE WORLDS HIGHEST PAID WOMAN WRITER

One Of the difiiculties that confronts
a woman who IL picking out q mat
rimoniai partner Ii the fact that q
mans character and previous record
gives her no clue as to the kind Of q
husband that he win make.
Frequently, bad men make the best
of husbands. Men who are flint and
steel to all the rest of the world are
often putty in the hands OF the wom-
en- they love. History tells US that
some of the most relentless political
tyrants have been the most COM
placent Of husbands. and that one Of
the cruelest and most bloodthirsty
leaders Of the French Revolution was
the most domestic OF men. and noted
for his devotion to his family.
There are plenty of men who break
every law Of God and man, except the
law Of love. We have all known men
who wrecked railroads and looted
ferinE on thousands Of other people
without feeling q pang Of pity for
their victims, but who were the
tenderest and most sympathetic Of
husbands and the most loving Of
parents.
We have known men who were
cruel to every one else except the
women they loved. We have seen
men grind down the faces Of the poor
whom they employed In order to law
ish their ill-gotten wealth on the
wives they adored. and we have
known drunkards who. when out of
their cups, were simply models of all
that a husband should be.
The reverse of this Is equally true.
Some of the best men In the world.
men Of the highest principle. ex-
amples of morality. are among the
worst husbands. although they are far
enough from suspecting It.
Such a man considers that he II a
good husband IL he gives his wife
food and clothes and shelter. II he
can add to these a reasonable amount
Of luxuries he feels that he Ii a su-
perexcellent husband, and II he sup
plements these material comforts by
spending his evenings at home. by be-
ing a teetotaller and by never look
ing at another woman, he can't inn
agine what else a woman could ask
for in q husband, and he feels that
his wife ought to spend her time on
her knees, thanking God for the do
mestic treasure that has been vouch-
safed her.
1t never occurs to these men that
home virtues and outside virtues are
not identical, and that the qualities
that make a man respected among
men do not necessarily endear him
to his wife nor make him a pleasing
companion with whom to spend her
days. For q man to be truthful.
honest, honorable and moral may
make him a good man, but II does
not necessarily make him a good hus-
band. And in any husband show
where women were the Judges, the
chances are that not he, but some
lovable scapegrace would get the blue
ribbon prize.
This decision would be set down to
woman's lack of Judgment, but mas
much as women are the only human
beings who have ever married men,
they are the only properly qualified
experts on the husband question. They
have had experience with the crea-
lures, and they know.
There are. for instance, plenty Of
men who are shining examples OF
honesty in the community, and who
would never cheat another man out
OF a penny, yet who make their wives
live in perpetual misery by theil
stinginess. This kind Of Q man would
scorn to oppress his employees or tc
withhold from a laborer his hire, bui
he has no conscience about holding
his wife in peonage. He takes the
work Of her hands, her ceaseless toll
her virtual slavery to her family fol
nothing. and begrudges her a single
penny Of her own as a reward fol
services so great that no money coulc
pay for It.
There are many wives who look for.
ward with shuddering dread to the
first Of every month when the bill.
come in, for they know that they will
have to endure insults about theil
wastefulness and bad management
| that no servant would stand.
There are women who, from the day
they are married to the day they col
lect their husbands Insurance money
never have one cent for which the,
do not have to give an account, an(
that they can spend as they please
Such a woman's husband may con
slider himself vastly superior to hi
neighbor whose commercial charactel
Ms shady. but who lavishes what h,
has generously upon his wife, but 1
would not take the women Of the twt
households a minute to decide which
they think the better husband, M
matter which Is the better man.
There are also thousands Of mel