The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-01-26
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
By DOROTHYADIX
Eeotism the Bar to Happiness.

S~~-~~~ls~-- 55-s,~-e--~--------S
Egotism the Bar to Happiness.
1.-THE reason that most of us are
miserable and discontinued" said the
Woman Philosopher. sis because we
are supremacy and utterly egotistical
and demand so much for ourselves
that it is impossible for our desires
to ever be gratified in full. Hence
these tears.
I'VE can understand why existence
must Inevitably hold much of disap-
pointment and sorrow for other peo-s
pie, but it seems such cruelty un-
just thing that we ourselves should
ever have to suffer. We feel that In
some mysterious way the law of ma
ture should be suspended IN our own
particular case and that we should De
immune from all the griefs that tear
poor human hearts.
I'VE demand of fate what is
vouchsafed to no other one human
being-to be perfectly healthy, very
wealthy, extremely beautiful. admired
and courted by all, and never to have
the shadow of sickness or death fall
across our sunshine.
And when we find out that life
doesn't play any fayorites and that
we get the same sort of deal that
all of our neighbors get. we howl
with rage and disappointment.
I'VE never argue out just why we
should be the darlings of the gods,
but we are very certain that we are
entitled to be, and that no matter how
blessed we may be we have not got
ten as much as we deserved. The
best isn't good enough for us.
Did you ever know anyone who
habitually compared his l1ot in life
with that of someone who was worse
off than he was? Never we always
look up, instead of down. at the meas
uring stick, and then rebel because
we are not top notch.
when I want a new sealskin coat
and can't afford it, 1 don't go out on
the street and gaze at some poor,
shivering woman who is dragging a
thin wisp of a ragged shawl about her
frozen shoulders, and then emit
/ good, thick. warm old fur coat, even
if it isn't the very latest word in fash
ionable fur rippleS.
ION the contrary, I turn my eyes
on Mrs. Croesus' gorgeous sable as
she rolls down the avenue in her
limousine, and beat on my breast and
weep because 1 also am not befurred
| like a millionairess.
las a matter of fact, the lot of the
faverage individual isn't such a bad
one. Most of us have fairly good
health and are comfortably fed and
housed We have agreeable friends
and relatives and we only work hard
enough to have something interesting
| to do to fill in our lives.
| There's nothing to prevent US from
| fairly burbling with happiness except
| the egotism that makes US think we
should have the thick cream of every
| thing presented to lis on a silver
| salver. But for our over-weening
sense of our own Importance we could
enjoy chugging around in our Tin
Lizzies instead of being miserable be-
cause we haven't imported French
cars, and we could wear our hand-me-
of iYl6 ING of
being filled with bitterness and envy
because they are not CONNECTIONS from
a world famous tailor.
| EgotiSm is the mother of diScon-
tent. If you will notice you will OBJ
serve that the more self conceited an
individual is the more of a dark blue
pessimist and surly crouch. he or she
| is sure to be.
| Such people never ask themselves
why they should have been given the
thlngs as their right that other people
have to toll and slave to get, or why
they should have been singled out by
rate for some special dispensation of
! providence. Nor do they ask what
they nave done to deserve success, or
| why their fellow creatures should love
and admire them when they've done
nothing to inspire any affectionate re-
gard in another's breast
| You see people who complain that
they have no friends, that everybody
| whether they live or die They feel
that they have, been victims of some
malignant misfortune and that thew
should be loved and cherished in spite
OF the fact that they have been utterly
! selfish and self-centered and have
never done a kindly or a generous act
| in their lives
I know woman like that All of
her life she has been mean and hate
ful and tyrannioal She has taken the
r-yyf6 hi -
like a rapier, and she has spared
neither friend nor foe Now she is
old and friendless and she can't uu-
derstand how it happens that no one
cares Tor her. She never asks why
And it's egotism that is responsible
Tor SO much domestic misery A wom
an doesn't say to herself:
IT m no living picture. I'm, no mar
hvel OF wit and brilliance. I'm no
fasclnate men, so why should / de-
! mand paragon of a husband? Wbv
would any man who is rich and hand
some and clever, and a model of all
the domestic virtues, marry a COM
monplace woman like me?
/ Il know that such a man-if srcb
| a man there be-would have nicked
out headliner in his own class instead
OF an ordinary Jane like me, and so
think myself very lucky to have
gotten a good. honest. kind business
man who has plenty of faults but
makes good living. and therefore I
| am going to be happy myself and
| make him happy and be humbly
grateful for what I've got
Nor does a man ever ston To a ok
himself why any woman who is per
fectly beautiful, gifted and charming,
domestic and scintillating, and rich
and aristocratic would pick out such
man as he is for husband If he
did he would realize that he has got
all that he deserves in the wife he
has got.
It's our egotism that makes every
woman feel that she is entitled to a
Prince Charming and makes every man
feel that his proper mate is a COM
bination of Lillian Russell and Mrs