davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
TGppai11R
HhDneS/
oSy HAzE Mason
- CDlyNkaX.AxT LSLSl
WORKINGS OF FATE.

MY Uncle jar cs, with brooding
MI eye, gazed on the autos whizzing
ANA by. Those blamed machines"
he grimly said, "just strew the highway
with their dead wouldn't ride in
one, ! wot. il you'd give me house and
lot. A wheel flies off, the springs col
lapse, and then where are your auto
chaps? Go ask the undertaken gent,
who'll tell you where their pieces went
do not wish to soorch and flee a nag
is good enough for me" Then Uncle
James rose from his chair and har-
messed up he old gray mare. Me
thinks III go to town" he said, and
buy nine loaves of graham bread" A
piece of paper flew along, when Bess,
the mare, was going strong. She
snortcd, SHE'D, kicked up her heels, and
busted all the shafts and wheels. her
big steel shoe hit uncle's dome an auto
brought his fragments home My Uncle
John took jealoui care in following his
bill OF fare. For years he cut out pies
and cakes. and eggs and cheese and Juicy
steaks, and lived on greens, such things
as cows throw in when they set forth
to browse. He said Id fill an early
tomb, because the good things I'd con
sumo. If | would reach a green old
age, I'd live on lentils, leeks anG sage
He ate some mushrooms on a day, and
then in anguish passed away. The
mushrooms were the toadstool brand
and so my Uncle John was canned, and
! still use my easy chair, and eat all
through the bill of fare. Which shows
that rules of life are vain; no human
plans are safe and sane.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
THE SLAVS ARE SLAVES.

NEWS that the kaiser intends to make the Lthuanians
fight is not surprising OF course the Huns recognize
the independence of Lhuania allied with the German
empire" Quite likely other Russian provinces will be
used the same way, when the lords feel they have
Restored order sufficiently that is when they have slain
or cowed the leaders who might have ability to organize
resistance and throw bombs at the junkers. 1t is also
certain that such troops the Germans succeed in raising
in conquered territory won't he allowed to conduct their
affairs the principles of Joint debate Germans don't
do business in that However, long training in
ground am, lofty disturbance muny anarchy and rev
olutiou may enable the Savs to make such fuss they
will really do harm than good But their present
plight shows nothing else could the folly of making
peace with the Teuts They have enslaved the occupied
area of Russia and the boshevik is to blame. That
should strengthen determination to batter bolsheyiki
in this country wherever it shows its bone head
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
LOYALTY FIRST.

PATRIOTISM should be the acid test for all candidates
this year and no is a true patriot who is willing
sto sec this end with less than decisive victory for the
allied arms. The who cannot measure up to that
standard has proper place in American officiadom
He would be particularly dangerous in congress, body
which has much to do with the conduct of the To
that extent there and righteousness in the appeal
of the League for National Unity to congressional leaders
to unite the two great parties in doubtful districts that
is where there is chance that socialist pacist
of pro- German tendencies may sneak n republicans and
democrats should not hesitate to unite whose
aggressive loyalty is beyond question.
Most democrats and most republicans stand willing to
see it through In very few instances will either party
nominate man whose election will be consolation or
an asset to the shadow Huns and in only few districts
have the pro-German socialists chance of success but
those isolated cases should have the careful attention OF
patriots and party agnmens may we'll be wiped out to
prevent such successes The nation should be held above
party and winning this is the only issue really
vital to the nation This sacrifice of party preference is
of less consequence than keeping the yellow dogs out Of
congress
Nor should the candidates word be takenhs conclusive
evidence that he puts loyalty first lie must show what
he has done for his country and the spirit in which he
served No man who was ever strong partisan of Ger
many can be rated above suspicion The right and wrong
of this conflict not changed by Americas entrance
into the arena, and the who needed such demon
straon the right may not it clearly
Ex-Presdcnt Taft says the true American is who
realizes the allies have been fighting battles since
1914 and is properly grateful The faint of Ilunism at
any stage will be fatal to most political aspirations, and
it should be. Germany wrong when its first lcgons
crossed the Belgian border it is today, and those who
sympathzed with such questionable characters
entrust with the large affairs of humanity. Loyalty
first and loyalty all the time, should be the demand
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Lines Worth Knowing

When they have covered the earth
with blood and ruins, they show us in
one hand a glittering sword and in the
other the symbol of peace. 1t ; against
such a peace that we ought to make
war. Never has a more sacred duty
rested with the men OF any age
Pastor Charles Wagner
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Haw, Haw! !

Jerry O'Keefe, The only white barber
in Ccbu p J., had been on a spree, and
when Father O'Callaghan came into
Jerrys shop for a shave Jerry was
pretty shaky. The result was that he
cut the priest in several places, but the
priest was very patient and when Jerry
was through the priest galcd at him
self in the mirror Now, Jerry" said
the priest, "you can see the i'll effects
OF drink" "Yis, Father" replied Jerry.
1T makes the skin tender, doesn't it''
Nike Ryan, lloilo p l.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

L. f. Phillips objects to coercion in raising the Red
Cross fund You poor American if YOU don't loosen
up for that OCCASION and that is coercion let it stand
We haven't the heart to change it. If the Red Cross fund
be raised without anything approaching coercion fine
but the Red Crossfund be raised 1t would be better
to coerce few misers than to fail The people who
need that Red Cross fund need it than anyone at
home needs anything.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
O1dSfo1ies
d1zNeWnfpe
rom NE Nmes T4les
Twenty Years Ago.
from Me NhneS I

Mrs Selwyn Douglas of this city has
been elected auditor OF the Womens
Federation OF Kansas.
Mrs Frank Butts has returned from
Horatio, Kansas and will visit here for
short time.
Mrs A. {. Scott arrived from Still
well yesterday and will visit here a
short time Mr. Scott passed through
the city yesterday en- route TO Nor
man where he lectures before the uni
yerslty,
Guthrie now has an all night cleo
trio Lighting system.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Then Il Happened.

Il wonder il YOU do2" mused the
Rummy as he stirred his highball
You wonder il you do what2' de
manded the Barkeep. as he grabbed an
empty beer bottle.
'I wonder if you have to use yeast
for raisin bread?" said the Rummy as
he headed for tho door
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
The Wise Fool.

Some men say exactly what they
think" observed the sage.
III they do, they are careful to avoid
thinking anything it would not be ex-
pcdient for them to say" commented the
Fool.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Ten Years Ago.

Owing to the impossible condition
Of the roads Mrs. Lille b. Hatha-
way has postponed her Maying party to
be given at the Country club, until
Saturday, May %
The Offutt- Pner wedding which was
to take place May % at Tampa, Fla,
has been postponed until the second day
of June.
This was done to enable Miss
Eugenia Hutton who is in school at
Nashville, Tenn, to attend as maid OF
honor
Mrs. Claude r. Kelsey 40 West
Eleventh street left Tuesday for a visit
OF ten DAYS in Kansas City, Mo, her
former home.
Mr. and Mrs. d. {. Mjnton have
Just named their baby boy, David Car.
son Jr.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
LIN To Date

The dances Of the long ago:
We're graceful, diguitied and slow;
hut II he'd dance today man
Must know how to catch -as-Catc can.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

Undertakers and embalmers must eat but tlmid out
sder shocked to hear them cheering at their luncheon
st the Lee-Huckins yesterday.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Then and Now

Time was when one lone penny made
small hoy laugh with glec.
OF candy It would purchase him his fill;
But things are different nowadays, for
he is peeyed. you see.
Unless he gets at least dollar bill
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

One is entitled TO enjoy the troubles of Austria as
much possible, but don't let them interfere with your
work The tail doesn't wag the cur in that central
empire combination
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

Those who can't go to the front might get as far as
Chicago where teamsers strike is in progress II you
ever encountered transfers strike in Chicago even
in San Francisco you'll know what
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

Making padded cells is a necessary occupation accord
Ing to the British draft board and there times when
one feels that the output should be increased
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
"Scent" Is Correct.

IOTVNFNh JVUT TTWIT
A receptacle for the storage OF garb-
age was stolen from outside the rear
door some time last evening or carly
this morning. The police are on the
scent
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

Among those aren't envying is whoever it who
started that big army plan story, sent out under an
Ottawa date line.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Good Judge.

Two men were holly discussing The
merits of a book, Finally, one of thein,
himself an author, said to the other y
mo, John, you can't appreciate H. Yon
never wrote book Yourself"
NO" retorted John, "snd I never
laid an egg. but I'm better Judge Of
an omelet than any hea"-Philadelphis
Star. .
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
LukRMLhate
His Column
Bless His Heart.
|OpNHNCW /QB

lie wears cheap cotton socks does Rost
As round the town he tramps;
lie needs the money SILK ones cost
To buy War savings stamps.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

A new law in New York psohibits
the employment OF women under Il -
telegraph messengers, \
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
The Limit.

Smith certainly is lazy, isn't he'"
said Brown
"l'll say he's lazy" agreed Jones.
"Why, he's too lazy to deny it"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15
Fifteen Years Ago.

Colonel {. r. Colcord returned yes
terday from a business trip to Kansas
City lie expects to occupy his mag
niiccnt residence here about Angus,
|.
Mrs William J. Pettee will enter
tain the Bridge and Bowling club this
afternoon.
Judge Frank Dale of Guthrie was a
visitor in the city yesterday.
Kee r. Mckee yesterday purchased
the Armstrong warehouse property near
the Choctaw railway and just north OF
the Curtis & Garside building on West
Main street, the purchase price being,
Sl2, 500
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-05-15

Modern Cursery Rhymes.
70 Belgium.
To Belgium.
A baby to kill.
Home again,
Home again,
lloch Kaiser Billl
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Yes, Same Old Ray Heating;
And He's to TRY Comeback

Ray Keating, who was hailed as a
wonder when he came to New York
from Bridgeport under the Wolverton
regime, is to try a comeback with
the Yanks. Keating is said to be de-
termined to make good on his new
appearance in the big league.
He has been attending strictly to
business and is prepared to give a
good account of himself. Keating
came to the Yankees originally from
Lawrence, Mass, and at the outset
Of his major league career gave
promise of brilliant future. He fal.
tered in his good work, however, and
. was sent to the American association.
Keating formerly relied on the spit
ball exclusively, but when that de-
livery was barred from the American
association he had to rely on his nat
ural ability. Since dropping the
spitball Keating has been pitching
good ball.,
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
rabbit" Washes Suit
In Hotel Bath Tub and
"Stows His Lob Scouse'

Walter Maranville. when not in
base bali uniform, is compelled by
Navy regulations to wear the white
duck uniform OF the sailor. The Rab-
bit was asked how he kept his uni.
form clean and he gave the answer
without blinking an eye. II wash il
in the bath tub Of my room at the ho-
tel every night"
Gunner's Mate Maranville was be.
ing interviewed by scribe in Chicago
as to his experiences in the navy. He
had about finished telling all he
thought he was permitted to tell when
he looked at his watch. "Blawst me,
said the Rabbit, but it's time to pipe
mess gear and stow a>bunch of lob
scouse in my midriff" and he hurried
off to lunch.
The Rabbit has been across to the
other side as convoy to transports
twice and says it's great life and that
he thinks it would do some ball play.
ers who kick on pullman berths and
S. a day hotels good if they would
take a swing at it.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
League Magnates Panned
bv Former Club Owner
tBy international News Seryice.)


New York, Aug. 1.-THE major
league magnates are acting like school
children" said former club owner
yesterday. They are bowling about
closing up their ball parks when they
should be trying to find ways and
means to perpetuate the game. Sec
rctary Baker hasn't ordered them to
bar their gates on September |. He
has simply exempted certain players
from the work or fight order until
that day when the local draft boards
will assume control of the situation.
Mr.. Baker is in favor of keeping the
game alive and probably expects the
nagnates to alter conditions so that
the teams can remain in action until
the FIRST day OF October. If the mag
mates are sensible they will engage
other players who are not in the draft
ages and will earnestly try to save
the pastime, which the public will pat
rorize as soon as the atmosphere is
clear. The idea of winding up any
business because skilled employees are
taken away is decidedly poor policy,
Base ball can be rebuilt"
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Prayer Paralyzes Don .
Bush and Tigers Lose
Game In indianapolis

Donie Bush, the Detroit shortstop,
was playing in an exhibition game
against an Indianapolis colored team.
One old darkey was sitting in the
bleachers watching his brethren per-
form. Also, he had wagered all his
spare change an6 all he could borrow
on them.
The teams we're playing the ninth
inning and the colored lads were one
run behind They also had a man
on third with two out and their heavi-
est hitter at bat, The batter popped
a foul.
Bush. scampering over, neared the
ball and just as he was about to make
the catch the old darkey dropped on
his knees and howled:
"Oh, Gawdl Paralyze dat man"
Bash heard him, started to laugh
and dropped the ball. The batter
slammed the next pitch for a home
run, winning the game.
There is one colored gentleman in
Indianapolis who is far from being
in need OF words from Billy Sunday
on the power OF prayer.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
KENTUCKY MEE7
TO OFFER GREAT
HARNESS RACES
Array Of BIuebIoods to Start in
Futurity to Determine
Best Three-Year-
Old.

Lexington, KY, Aug. 3.-The Ken
lucky Trotting Breeders association
will offer about $4,000 in purses and
stakes at its meeting here September
80 to October IL. The biggest of all
the events is the Kentucky Futurity
purse of $4,000. This race usually is
taken as a final decision, its winner
being without question the best j.
year-old of the season.
All indications point to one of the
best meetings in the history of the
association. Boxes have been engaged
by trotting enthusiasts from Is states
and Canada.
Among the probable starters in the
Kentucky Futurity are Nella Dillon,
June, Chestnut Peter, DR.. e.
more, Echo Direct, Ruth Mainsheet,
Miriam Guy, Selka, Jennifer, Ramco,
David Guy, Peter Vonia, Sunny
Smiles and Mekum.
In reply to many inquiries as to
whether the annual fall trotting meet
ing would be held, owing to the delay
on the part of the Kentucky Racing
commission in granting fall dates to
the running meetings in Kentucky,
President Upton of the Kentucky
Horse Breeders association said:
"The dates have been fixed by the
Grand Circuit and the annual meeting
will be held as usual"
The principal events to be contested
for follow:
September 2o--Ths Walnut Hall Cup g.
year-olds) $4,000; the Futurity (2-year-olds)
$4,000. =.
october 1.-The Kentucky Futurity g.
year-olds) $4,000.
October 2-The Phoenix Hotel Prize free-
for all pacing) $4,000
October S-The Transylvania, $4,000,
october 4-The Bluegrass (pacing) $1,000;
The Lexington (2-year r-olds) $4,000.
october 5--The Kentucky (3-year-olds)
g.. 900; The Breeders stakes (2-year-olds)
$4,000. .u
October s-The Cumberland (pacing)
a. 600; The Dinner stakes tS-year-olds)
5000.
October i0--The Pacing Futurity (S-year'
olds) $4,000.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Funston Foot Ball Team
Wants Game with OmahanS

The 4lst infantry comes forth with
a challenge to foot ballists that
should provoke q, match with some of
the Nebraska teams. Manager White
Lundgren has issued sweeping chal-
lenge to any high school, college or
semi-professional team for game,
either in Omaha or at Camp Funston,
for the last week in September.
The soldier boys have team quail
fed to back up the challenge OF the
manager and the team that accepts
their challenge should prepare for a
titanic struggle.
The lineup of the khaki team will
include several Hascall Indians, Uni
versity of Illinois and Wisconsin
players, as we'll as players from the
professional clubs Of Chicago. The
Chicago players are from such well
known teams as the Tornadoes and
Standards.
Team managers desiring dates with
the Funston team are asked to com.
municate with White Lundgren
headquarters company, 4lst infantry
Camp Funston, Kan.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
GOLF FANS DROP
FREAK SCHEMES
TO BETTER GAME
Game Needs No Innovations
and Seldom Do Any of the
Numerous Inventions
Meet With Favor.

With 100000 golfers in the
United States, little wonder that the
inventive mind occasionally offers
suggestions which threaten to send
the ancient game and its traditions
a-glimmering.
Inventions rarely receive encour-
agement, for "golf is golf" and
meant to be played as she is writ"
and for that reason the iconoclasts
seldom make more than momen-
tary flash ere fading away to utter
and lasting oblivion.
For instance, one is at loss to
know why anyone could suggest the
substitution of yellow for white
paint on golf ball. 1t has been
claimed that under certain conditions
white is hard on the eyes; that on a
very bright day more neutral color
would be serviceable. Yet golfers
have played for a good many years,
and the sun has shone as brightly
in the past as it does at present. 1t
would be hard to get better con-
trast than the white bali OH the green
turf.
So far as the trade goes, there have
been comparatively few recommen-
dations to change the color of the
bali, though recently a man who is
a frequenter to the Lido links left
an order with a prominent local
sporting goods house, calling for a
dozen of one of the latest makes of
rubber cores to be painted red. His
reason was that when his shots went
wandering among the glistening
white shells, the caddie had trouble
in locating the sphere. Consequent
ly, he figured it out that red object
would be much easier to distinguish
Occasionally some one comes
along with a new idea in the form Of
a club, but these innovations rarely
prove practicable. Not long since a
man had a new-fangled putter, with
a head OF abnormal size, and mir
ror attachment on the shaft. He
thought he had something that was
likely to revolutionize the short game,
but received no encouragement from
the manufacturer to whom he showed
the club.
After all, the same old saying, cts
the man behind the club" continues
to apply.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Clarke to Catch After
KiIIifer Goes in Draft
International News Service.

New York, Aug. 10.-Fred Mitchell,
the Cubs manager, admits that he
expects to lose Catcher Killifer be-
fore the end of the month. Killifer
is in Class Ia, and Mitchell already
has engaged the veteran Tom Clarke
to fll his place. Clarke is citizen
of the Bronx and for many years
caught for the Cincinnati Reds.
Matty involved him in trade with
the Yankees several weeks ago, but
after reporting to Higgins, Clarke
finally was turned back. In signing
Clarke, Mitchell has obtained the
best available catcher of experience
in the market. Clarke probably will
help.the Cubs, but he is far from be-
ing another Killifer.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
The Bees Special Sund
Sport Pages \
E. L. Potter Goes to France
as "Y" Athletic Director

Another Omaha man has entered
the service of the Y. M. c. A. for
service with Uncle Sans fighters in
France. He is E. L. Potter OF the
Potter Printing company.
Mr.. Potter goes to Chicago Angus,
20 to begin one months intensive
training to qualify for physical recrea-
ton secretary's work. Then he sails
for France to take up his duties
At 4S years, Mr.. Potter passed a
rigid physical examination which
many young men of half his age can
not pass. When young man ply,
sicians declared Mr.. Potter a hopeless
case physically and warned him to
give up his favorite sport ad past.
time, bicycle riding. Potter refused
to credit the doctors alarm and con-
tinued his riding. He has since that
time ridden a bicycle more miles than
any man in Omaha And he is as
nearly the perfect speciman physical
ly--as his examination snows--as any
man OF his age can possibly be.
Mr.. Potter is a familiar figure al
the Omaha Y. M. c. A. where he al
ways has taken an active interest in
the work. He is volley ball and
hand ball player Of note and he takes
part in nearly all Of the activities in
the "Y" gymnasium.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Tommy Ryan Makes Debut
at Funston with Good Card

Camp Funston, Kan, Aug. TO-
Iommie Ryan, camp boxing instruc-
tor, made his debut in camp with one
of the most extensive boxing bouts
ever held at Funston. 1t was held
at the all-Kansas building and there
was large crowd of soldiers present
In two bouts the men were wei
matched and they mixed things right
merrily. Each was three-round
bout. Ryan acted as referee.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-08-11
Former Omaha Players Now
PIayinu With ShipVardS

Tony DEBATE, former Omaha sec
nerly of Omaha and Joplin, who
merly of Omaha and Joplin, wha
went to St. Paul with the disbanding
OF the Western league, arc now play
ing in the Lake Ship-building league.
Both are members of Hans Wagner's
Riverside team in Duluth.
Freddie Thomas, former Omaha
shortstop, who played the earliest
part of the season with the Boston
Red Sox, is now playing with the
Great Lakes naval team.
Ben Dyer, who was sold by Denver
to the Detroit Tigers, is also a men,
Der of the Bluejacket team at the
Chicago training station.