Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-08-16
Getting Out
of It
By DON LA GRANGE
copyright, 1918, by the Mcclure Ne
per Syndicate.)

0lI0 ACROSS Tie IdDle.
Moses, if I should die, would you
marry again?"
"Bless me, but what a question: he
| replied as he choked.
"3ut / should like to know"
at amt likely that l would"
"You believe TIL go TO heaven when
L die, don't your"
straight as a crow flies"
"And how'd feel loekin' down from
hea~en and seem you around with an
other wife,"
"But the angels in heaven can't look
down on EARTH"
'It is said they can't, but how does
anybody know they can't?'
"TheSe are nice mashed taters, said
| the deacon as he helped himself to
some more.
His wife was a Christian woman
and a church member, but nevertheless
there were times when she wanted TO
know, you know, and he lound 1t safer
to choke her off than argue with her.
He was hoping he had in this case
when she said:
Eyes, I've got a knack Of mashin'
taters, and you'll miss me when I'm
gone. How about my question, Moses?'
"You'll probably outlive me ten
years."
ST probably won't, and I want to
know if you will marry agafnT'
mo, sir, I shouldn't"
The deacon was vexed with her per-
sistency, and he brought out his answer
with an emphasis.
"All right" began the wife and be-
gan talking of something else.
Next day she and another woman
were drowned by the upsetting of q
boat on the river. The deacon, who
I was over fifty, was overwhelmed for
tine, but gradually his grief wore
away and he was like himself again.
It is not contended that he was an
absent-minded man, but it is stated,
and 1t is quite reasonable, that after
the first month the deacon did not
think of that promise again for four
years. Then 1t came like a knockout
blow. Bit by bit he had come to be
friends with the Widow Stevens. He
had sat on her doorstep; he had sat
by her fire; he had hoed in her gar
den: he had split wood for her cook
stove. Aye, he had called her Sarah,
and she had called him Moses. One
evening he had had a talk with him.
self beginning with:
''By the great horn spoons, but that
wilder can make a custard fit for a
king!"
And then: deacon, you have been
widower for. four years-for four
long years. You have been sad and
lonely. 1t has come mighty hard"
And again:
"Theres folks winkin' and blinkin'
around and sayin' that me an the
wilder will make a match of 1t, but
let 'em wink and blink. 1t hain't none
of their pesky business, and have
told 'em So"
Then with a chuckle:
at wouldn't be bad match for
either one of us. Home is whero the
husband and wife is, and we've neither
one of us got a home 'cordin' to that.
wonder If l had better hint aroundT'
Three minutes elapsed and then the
deacon brought his fist down and ex-
claimed:
Hint? Hint? No, won't hint a
hint! I'll just ask her outright J"
And he was going over in his mind
what he would say when a thought
struck him and he fairly leaped from
his chair and gasped out:
my promise to my wife that 1
wouldn't marry again.
For five minutes Deacon Strothers
was as weak in the knees as if he
had seen a ghost. He had promised,
and that promise was like a wall across
his future path.
"What di Martha ever poster me
into making that promise for?" he
asked himself "It wasn't right-no,
it wasn't. Did ask her not to marry
again in case I died first? No, of
course l didn't. / Jest left it to her
feelings in the matter"
Was there any way out of it?
Couldn't that promise be lodged?
1t was an hour after the deaeon's
usual bedtime, but he was still as live
" as a fox He went over the matter
for ten minutes, and then said:
"Why did l promise? Because Mar
tina was in the best of health, and APP
peared good for fifteen years yet.
Did she give me the slightest hint
that she was goin' to be silly enough
to get into a boat the next day? No,
she didn't Did she say she might get
drowned? Not word. Wouldn't
court hold that it was deception, and
that 1 wasn't bound by my promise?
When Jabez Reed sold me COW for
thirty dollars and never said a word
about her jumpin' fences, didn't the
court make him take her back? It
said he suppressed fact. Didn't
Martha do the sameF
The deacon went to bed feeling bet
ter. but when he awoke next morning
his conscience began 20 trouble him
again.
by heck. but sunthin' has got TO
be didip he exclaimed over his break
=