davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

women have more sense than men. If woman had to wear a wooden leg she would have common ordinary wooden | leg for wear around the house and an ex- , pensive pink %enameled wooden leg for wear down town.
 Jf mother happens. to break dish at
 the supper table, father indignates about mothecs carelessness keeping him poor. | Then father goes up to his pet kaif and
 breaks a couple of bills entertaining the l audience that is listening to him whip the Kaiser
 Some men don't know ,how to say No" We know a poor boob who let three girls become engaged to him at the same time.
 Funny how fate arranges things. If the husband is economical, the wife is extravagant. and if the wife is economi- cal, the husband is extravagant. Why does musician imagine that he
 has to look like a damfool? The best musician we ever met doesn't dress like freak ans he gets his hair cut regu larly
 It is mighty good thing for the sea that women do not have to depend on their elbows and knees to attract the male sex It is a good thing to remember that the only person who is going to lose any sleep worrying over you is your mother. It is almost as hard to get some men to fight as it is to keep an Irishman from fighting.
 Why is it that the fellow who is abou:
 us useful around the office as a 1905 cai-
 endar IS tho same fellow who imagines that the alice would have to close if he wasn't there?
 But, strange as it may seem. the waf time diet does not seem to affect the
 <ern fed girls. A corn fed doesn't ca [
 much, anyway There is something in her makeup that just naturally makes
 her devkiop curves and wobbles no mat ter how mach she diets. We talked to a Princess for five min utes the other day And she said: Well, thought Ill dis!" only 29 times during ahs five minutes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
ROSES OF FRANCE
-l-------- . v

 Minna Irving. in the New York Herald. My soldier, who followed the Stars and the Stripes Far over the wide rolling sea- To Stand at his gun till conquer the Hun, Has just sent token to me; Not a blood sprinkled souvenir wrested from Mars, The trophy of sabre and lance, x But a little pressed nosegay of roses that bloomed In shell battered gardeA in France. ~The red rose of love and the white of death,' He said in his letter. The walls Of the chateau rent, and the rats and the owls 1nhabit its chambers and halls. But gathered these roses by moonlight alone, All fragrant with dew and romance, red rose for you and white one for me, From shell battered garden in France" Oh rose of the velvety crimson superb. And with the petas of snow, So bravely unfolding In beauty and grace Right under the guns of of the foe. You breathe of the spirit eternal that springs Der ruin and death to advance, Implanting the flag of the tricolor deep In the shell battered gardens of FrancA Your red is the blood of fair Gallias spna Your white is her loyalty true That endures to the end-I will put you away Tied up with q ribbon of blue. And lo when the batteries thunder no rnCre shall waik with my soldier perchanco. s4 And gather tho rosee that blossom anew In that ehell battered garden in FrAnce. Tartxtown. N Y.. AuGust A
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
x T Good Work of the Alabama Miners

THE weekly records of coal pro
 H duction in the Alabama district showing substantial gaits make it plain that the mine workers are re- spending patrioticaHy to the appeal of President Wilson for a maximum of effort" With an adequate car SUD- ply the weekly output will continue to increase.
 The governments system of keep ing run of the individual miner will operate to the benefit of the public. A great majority of the men who get out the coal are not only eager to do their part in winning the war, but are striving for the highest efficiency. Those who have been disposed to work only part time when full time was needed now realize that it is the duty of every man to do his best. Under the new system practically every miner will be to all intents and pur- poses 100 per cent operative.
 From the present outlook there is promise of this years coal production in Alabama going well above the high record of nearly twenty-one million tons in 1917.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
Necessity of Close Watch
 Along Mexican Border

If 1NTL the Mexican people, par " ticularly the lower classes, re- talize that America is disposed to be their friend, there will always be more or less friction along the Mexican border.
 Recent events at Nogales, while threatening to assume serious propor- tions, do not mean that there is any more of . s'problem" now than there has been since the withdrawal of American troops. The promiscuous shooting at Nogales was evidently the work of irresponsible natives, proba- bly, drunk. There is disposition in official circles, both American and Mexican, to regard the trouble as strictly local and of no political sig nificance.
 As long as we are at war with Ger many, the Mexican border will bear watching, not only because Mexican brigands and peons are apt to get ugly on short notice, but because there are great many shifty persons south of the border, spies, pro-Ger- mans and the like, who are not by any means desirable neighbors.
 The threat of German invasion through Mexico has been proved a myth and Mexico will think twice be- fore inviting the displeasure of America, yet it would never do at this time for us to have our attention di- verted even for a moment, from the important business of defeating Ger many.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
BATTERED CHATEAU THIERRY

streets of Chateau Thierry in June, the smashing of the bridge halting the rush of the enemy and trapping many of his troops undefended on the southern bans. Though the bridge was blown up, it's fall ing masonry left rough path across the river, and by use of ladders. by climbing. sliding. jumping, dropping, the Yanks still employ the old bridge as their foot way across the Marne.
 Even the most battered house can serve as a billet, and history must record how one detachment of Tanks passing onI their way through Chateau Thierry spout the night sleeping serenely in great deserted house with many beds in It. They did not know till afterward that they had put up at a brothel.
 The ruins of the old chateau which gave the town it's name are not much the worse for the latest battle to beat against the chateau walls. It was built in the eighth century, and little is left of it save a part of the ancient walls, a part of a watch tower, and moss grown en- frances to it's dungeons. Once again these dungeons served as refuges too deep for any shell to reach; once again the town watch holes served defenders. machine gun shot splitting through tho narrow apertures where long ago the ar- rows sped. Half-wrecked machine gun emplacements tell of positions within tha chateau grounds held until the enemy had engulfed the city; here and there ? grave will mark where some French so,- dier fell, his rusted rifle lying on it, ms wound decoration fastened to the cross the tale of his death scrawled in Ges- man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
FRENCH PRONUNCIATION

Washington Correspondence Philadei-l
 phia Publ. Ledger.
 Speaking of nomenclature, our authcri- ties at the war department great time agreeing upon the pronunciation of the Frcnch towns and rivers which are prominent from day to day in the reports from ths front The officers who return from abroad come back filled with proper accommodations and are inclined to
 'swanls'., ii little over their less fortu'- nate or Srudite brothers in arms.
 General March ist quite wizard with French namest but often when addressing the newspaper men at his semi-wceklr conferences he deliberately mispro- nounces a name so the stenographerr can get the sypelling of it. It was quite a shock fo us to hear him call the vcs.sy river the ''va-zel" the other day, until he looked directly at the shorthand man to see that he fully understood. Tho yese, of course, is the Vale. just as Fishes is "Feem," and Fismette is, "Feemctte. .N
 The marshal of France has the nost ''mispronouaced monaker,' as the sport ing writers would say. of all the allied generals. ' lie nearest that America ns' get to 1t as rule is to pronounce 1t "Foash." but as Vatter of fact thes French 70" is in pronuhciation mora nearly like the English 'U." So to those who would pronounce General Fochas name correctly 1t can be stated that it js2 "Fush." t,iunciated much like the word hush. -~e
 ssThe Boche" is called bush" by the French, the bush" not being like th$s English bush. but like hush again. And so the river Somme is not the Son." as we often call it, but the Sum-" Somme tv, Trench k1 fba xna vs a,1v1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
NO CHANGE.

"Do you think any of the crowned heads of Europe will ever be so reduced in circumstances that they will have to work for nving?'
 Mo- replied Mir Dubwaite. Most. crowned heads seem to have a host of relatives. Even if they should lose their thrones, they'd probably find somebody who would take care ofsthem to the, end of their days. never expect to see an ex-king running an elevator or peddling'
  pencils sc
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

From Stars and Stripes, France.
 N HATEAU THIERRY was by no |(( means obliterated either by thc " battle which halted the Germans there in the first week of June or by ths one which drove them from it's gates the third week in July. No building in the town, on either side of the Marne, is without some scar of the. bombardmen. or the occupation, but the damage done to many house was done within it's four walls, and the plasterers, paperers. gia ziers and cabinet makers will work won- ders of restoration up and down it's bat tered streets.
 The town was systematically pillaged, and if more was not stolen, it was be- cause the Roches had to leave so sud- denly that they did not have time to take their plunder with them. Ths cred in the ransacked town, done up into bundles and addressed by this soldier or that to his folks back in the fatherland. The stolen goods included everything inn aginable from the robes of a priest te the copper faucet of a waterpipe. The unforgiveable thing was the abundant evidence of malicious vandai- ism, mirrors wantonly smashed. paintings wantonly slashed. Time and again a painting would be found with neat, rec tangular hole cut out of it, the deliberate malice of an invader who wanted it known he had been deliberately mali cious. It is known. And will be remem- bered.
 Curiously enough, a restraining hard kept the vandal from the home of La Foitaine. Jean de la Frontaine, Frances 3 beloved poet and master of fables. was
 born in Chateau Thierry, and dwelt there
 in the days of his maturity. Pretty much
 as it looked in the seventeenth century
 with it's high, outside stairs and it's old
 fashioned well it stands now. and Ame--
 ican soldiers passing by note that no
 shell happened to strike it's white walls.
 Inside, the paintings and sculpture are
 unharmed. The deep cellars served as
 dugouts for German officers. Judging rom the eieSdnce or tHe Dco-HHcl dAiu
 comforters allotted to them. An American
 sergeant, surveying the >dugout. founl
 and confiscated for his own use some
 precious German papers left behind in
 the hurried flight. It was some of Herr
 Oberst's toilet paper.
 Now and for many 8 day to come there
 will be great pow-wow in the corners IS
 the returning citizens listen to the tales
 told by the 200 who stayed-old old folk.
 for the most part who managed somehow
 to live through the one and fifty days of
 the occupation. How they crept into the
 gardens at night to look for food, how
 they lived on the one or two cows kille
 by shellfire and on the bread the baker
 baked them. how they saw the first
 American wounded soldier back of the
 German lines and wept because he was
 so young, how they thrilled at the tid.
 ings that the battle tide had turned ana
 that the invaders were being driven from
 their gates th.s is the tale of the 200
 The sight of sights in the ecarred city
 is the bridge the famous triple .archod
 bridge of stone which spans or used to
 span the Marne and link together the
 two parts of the city. It was dynamited
 during the first battle that swept tns
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

BEGINNING THE DAY-Let me not lose, 0 God, the sense of won- der. Keep me fresh for the en- chantments of this Land of Life. May I walk this day n rediscoverer Of colors and frngrances, of heights and depths, of fide1itfes and loves, of God bending over us and Christ walking with us. In His name, Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
HEARD IN FRANCE.

Heaven. hell or Hoookenr'
 That was the doughboys' cry; And with a cheer that wakened fear,
 They made the Boches fly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

summer maximum of food will he needed throughout the year. There will certainly be as much reason for garden work as a war necessity as there was this year. Whlle the canning and drying of vegetables have saved millions of dol lars worth of food that would other wise have been wasted, further saving can be effected with campaign drive along these particular lines. And above all, greater attention should he given to the fall garden. The summer garden is of marked economic value lof course, but winter vegetables planted and cultivated in the fall will ibrlng large lreturns. In many cases the fall garden has been neglected. * # * | It is true that Miss Rankin w.s | feated for the senatorial nomination in ! the recent Montana primary, yet her suc- cessful competitor had no walkover. More than 1900 Montana voters thought Jean- 1 cite would shine in the United States | Senate.
 we trust that Carrie Chapman Catt. Ida Husted Harper and other suff lead CTS had the good taste not to eloat over Marse Henry when the Louisville Courier Journal came out for equal suffrage. * * * N About 200 old, people stayed in Chateau Thierry during the German occupation As Stars aHd Stripes says. they will have something to talk about for the rest of their days
 Most accommodating of those German soldiers who voluntarily start out to look for the allies prison camps provided with bundles of clean clothes and two days rations
 xs x x Grown Prince Rupprecht is rather> above the average crown prince in decency and intelligence. Still. that isn't what you | might call fulsome compliment, E S Those German, soldiers who surrender in droves don't seem to care a boot whether or not "old Fritz" is looking down on them from heaven. < * x Many peace-time hobby has gone by the board since people began to collect war maps and try to keep up with every variation in the battle linAA * x < {, It's all very well to talk about "yic- | tory" flour helping to win the war. but the humble corn dodger should not be denied it's need of praise. * * * Many of the French villages retaken by the allies are nothing bM heaps of rubbish. But the sites remain and love
 
 l E x as l Another definition of an optimist is a drinking man who believes it simply out of the question for America to become bone dry.
 Whatever President Carranza's 8 private opinion of America may be. he knows it behdoves him to keep on friendly terms with us.
 * * * That ineipient war along the border is nothing much to brag about. if German pr6pagandists had anything to do with it.
 * * $
 If Uncle Sam bought shoes the way the average woman does. it would take him about 100000 years to buy 100000 pairs.
 x # #
 There is great deal of humor in Ger man newspapers these days. but it's the unconscious kind.
 x E g
 Consider the cucumber" says the Bal timore American. We do-and let it se- verely alone
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
BOTH HOPELESS.

'4There are two sad sights in this world" remarked Mir. Twobble, thought. fully. ~
 "Name taem." &
 "One is a large woman trying to aps pear kittenish and the other is q small man trying to stand on his dignity" s7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
Enjoys Birmingham

T am always happy to get back into the hustle of Birmingham" said Dr.. Thomas M. Owens, state historian.
 T am up on some war library busi- ness. 1 arose on Friday morning and looked out of my window from the Tut wiler down on Jones valley, and re- marked to a down customer who had shared the apartment with me, that there was no finer climate or people on the face of the earth than could be found in this community"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
AGaRAvAT1NG SUBJECT.

AGGRAVATING SUBJECT. Whats engaging the attention Of Professor Diggs these days?' "Oh, he's still deciphering Assyrian tablets" Happy manr' 'Why so?"
 He might read great quantities~ef sush literature without ever running across any reference to the Hohenzollerns."
 MUST HAVE A THIRST. May ask what you are readingT'
 Some verses entitled. Farewell. John Barleycorn.'
 Humorous, supposef''
 ''Hrmerous. nothing! Why. at times this poet sounds the very depths of despair. ]"
 PATRIOT GETS WORST OF IT.
 What happenedy'
 1T tried to stay the hand of a man in a restaurant who was reaching for a third spoonful of sugar to put in his coffee.''
 And thenr'
 .'He launched a brisk offensive and when I came to my senses the patrol wagon had arrived on the scene"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
A PEDESTRIAN REJoIcEs.

No Sunday rides in motor cars? Oh, joy said William Falk. Perhaps twill be quite safe for me To take little walk
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
BarnwelI Fits Any Place

T have never seen Dr. Middleton S.. Barnwell fail to fit into any place yet" said "Ranse" Mabry
 T happened to be present at big barbecue up in St. Clair county on Thursday, and the versatile pulpiteer was holding the crowd spellbound with his burning eloquence. I think it's a fine thing for clergymen to take an interest in public affairs. MT. Barnwell has been a tower of strength in this community with his straightforward.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
Got Johns Goat

"Yes, it is true that I left town on Thursday" said John Yeatman, and can you blame me after what Jeff Bailey wrote about me under my pie ture on page five in The Age-Herald. over which was written, Get Ac- quainted%
 T was tickled with it all, until the boys kept stopping me on the street and asking me the meaning of the word 'bombastic' never paid any at tention to the first two or three, but when customers dropped in and be- gan to- ask me to define it, I thought the easiest way to get rid of my tor mentors was to hit it for the country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
THE WAY HE FELT.

THE WAY HE FELT. T understand Gadspur was rescued from drowning at the seashore by a stun ming lady life saver "so he was And what do you sup pose he said when he regained conscious ness in her arms7" T can't imagine 70 death, where is thy sting?
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
Large Winter Resort Business

A prominent passenger agent was con- fdent in his prediction a few days ago that the southern resorts would be not only well filled this winter but that the tide southward would begin earlier than usual" said J. J. Pebloe of Phllade:- phia
 Many wealthy northern people are ac- lively engaged in war work and on that account will forego their usual winter trips to sunny climes. But as a repre- sentative journal pointed out recently there are enough rich folks who are too old or too frail to be of service in the present crisis to fill the southern hotels. They could do no good by remaining at home and enduring the rigors of northern winter. All such people should look out for their health and comfort
 Travel south will be largely in tour ing cars. October and November will find the southern highways scenes of great animation I was in this part of the country several winters ago and found weather conditions delightful. .Bir- mingham should be an especially inviting resort city in the autumn or winter, and have no doubt but that thousandss of northern tourists will stop here for a month or more on their way to the gulf"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
ADRIFT WITH1THE TIMES
A STRANGE CASE.

The ruthlessness of Huns abroad
 He found 1t hard to bear; But when it came to buying bonds
 He simply wasn't there. No citizsn more loudly cheered
 Our soldiers marching by And none more quickly tossed his hat
 With fervor to the sky. And when "Old Glory flew aloft
 His eyes with tears grew wet; That middle age kept him at home. It was his great regret. He seemed patriotic man
 And had that kind of air, But when 1t came to buying bonds He simply wasn't there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
Col. Noble May Be Promoted

'@The retirement of Gen. W. c. Cor gas, surgeon general. on October l, may mean the promotion of a well known Annistonian, Col R. E. Noble," said pr. George c. Lang.
 Although I made my debut in the Model City only a few years back. l learned that the Noble family had in dellibly written their name into the .woef and warp of Anniston's history. I feel sure that the elevation of one of their townsmen to succeed so dis tinguished a public servant as General Gorgas would give great satisfaction to the citiezens.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connectfng g all departments) Main 40O0.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Coai trine Development


 While we have made good progress in developing our mine near Parrish, in Walker county, it will be January before we will be equipped for capacity produc- tion.' said W. E. Leake, vice president of the Southern Fuel company, a sub sidiary of the Southern railway.
 We have been getting out develop ment' coal at the rate of 15o to 200 tons a day for several months past. but when we begin to mine, the capacity will be about 30Oo tons a day.
 We have well built mining town sanitary and modern in every respect. No industrial community in Alabama can boast of better houses, and the fact that our camp is a model has enabled us to attract the best class oS mine labor. Since our company began its work we have not known what shortage of labor was.
 ''We had expected to be mining coal this fall, but have been delayed by the slow arrival of electric and other ma chinery.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, l postoffice as second-cless matter, un- der act of Congress, March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

* * x
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

NOW, from Prescott on I could readily see why the whole country was coming together to talk about improving it. goat stunts in mountain climbing, but, believe me, the Chevrolet jumped across gullies and from peak to peak like tomcat acourting over backyard fences If hadn't been present and bouncing and seeing it-with my own eyes, I would have doubted any machines ability to negotiate such a trail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

And then to bed to sleep the sleep Nof tho tired brain worker, whose nerves are racked, without any thought of having to arise to go about the daily grind, but whole fresh day ahead of you to do with it as you please, is enough to make the busiest town dweller sigh to live the simple life. far away fro mthe madding crowd, and he lifts up joyful heart for short rest from his labors
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-31

Hungry and well shaken, we arrived at sunset. but soon forgot our troubles as We sat around the supper table and de- voured fried chicken and all the other good things which makes city man nearly kill himself eating when he gets to sit down for a good square meal with charming hostess continually saying. Please try some more of this. won't you Why. you must have lost your appetite on the way