davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
--A--- ------------- os------------- LIKE M'LUKE SAYS

These poets are so blame contradic- torv One tells us that woman's crown ing glory is her hair. and another tells us that glory cannot be bought
 Why is it that a bank always misses the cashier before 1t misses the money that he steals?
 The day a man marries his stenog- rapher he ceases to dictate to her.
 There was nothing so wonderful in Balaam's ass talking. You can find the remarks of lot of asses in the Congressional Record.
 Two heads may be better than one, but it is hard to make the father of twins think so.
 As a rule the girl who bats 300 in the Good Looks league. bats about .003 in the Good Cooks league.
 The world is growing better You hardly ever see man wearing red necktie nowadays.
 Funny how strange doctor can make a man quit smoking when his own wife can't do it.
 A wife has more luck than hus- band. He can't wear her hat when he wants to run across the street and gab withNa neighbor woman for while.
 We know a man who doesn't drink. smoke, chew or swear. But outside of that he is a pretty decent fellow. It is all right to laugh and grow fat. But after you grow fat the laugh is on you.
 When you call on girl you might as we'll start in and hold hands right away. She thinks that is what you are there for.
 You may repair 8 broken promise. But you can never make it look as good as new. The reason why every young man should think seriously of matrimony Is because matrimony is anything but a joke.
 A flock of women often act nutty over long haired nan. But you never saw man act nutty over a short haired woman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
ALABAMA PRESS

Roanoke Leader: The much advertised offsnsive campaign by the Germans In the west seems to have turned to sound and fury. They have met the British and the French before. They will be in- troduced to the Americans little later
 Mobile Register: The bolsheviki imas- inc that under their kind of democracy everybody will be happy, and new Gar den of Eden will be inaugurated in Rus sia, but other people know that guns and gunpowder are the only things an ig- norant and lately freed people respect. The downfall of bolshevkism is assured when it is proved that it will not fight.
 Tuscaloosa News: Birmingham mer- chants are preparing for continuation of steady buying" That's the right idea That shows Alabama understands what the nation needs.
 Huntsville Mercury: The government officials may know better than the gem eral public, but there is pretty gem eral feeling that the prices of the va rious grades of coal do not vary enough to meet the requirements of justice and fair dealing to the common people. Five dollars for dust and only $6.5o for the best grades doesn't seem to be quite discriminating enough.
 Andalusia Star: Political announce ments will cost a little more in Ala bama newspapers during the present campaign. The night cost of print paper and material will make it imperative that political advertising rates advance.
 Brewton Standard: With the declara- tion of war on Austria by Congress, a lot of musical stars contracts in this coun-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
POUND OUT, NOT DOWN

From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
 Says the Birmingham Age-Herald. "A small fortune in liquor is stored in the city jail of Birmingham and the chances are that it will stay there untn destroyed" We'll, we presume that de stroyed" is as good word as any, though we had usually spelled it 'im> bibed'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
War Hits All Trades

''The war is hitting every kind of business said W. F. Perry, the jeweler.
 'I know five watchmakers who have already been drafted, and several more who will be called in the near future. It is going to take hard work on the remaining few in Birmingham to keep the citizens timepieces in condition. l am breaking in my soh so that he can help me keep up with my increasing work"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
DOING GOOD WORK

From the Guntersville Democrat.
 Blackman in The Age-Herald and Kirby in The Mobile Register, are doing more effective service with their cartoons than is done by the most labored and elaborate editorial.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
# # #

BEGINNING THE DAY-God, save me from the dcspOtism of dead things. The old year is dead, nnh It's failures, doubts and fears arc dead. Help me to leave them dead and to strike trail into another world where. behold, all things are new. In Cbrist's name. Amcn.-H. M. F.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
Hard to Get Cars

''If YOU tell a man it is hard to get a car these days" said Ed Crawford
 'he thinks 1t is the same old salesman joke to speed up laggard buyer, but take it from me, it is sure hard for dealers to get the brand I am selling The government has put so much muni- tion work on the big automobile plants that many are crippled in their own out put"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01

months realtors" will be so busy as to cause them to forget the six or seven years of extreme dullness. Let's keep up the optimistic spirit and help in that way to at least bring about an early fulfillment of the glowing prophecies.
 < x s,
 we would not willingly disturb Col onel Bryan, who is now eating oranges and custard pie in the pleasant climate of Miami. Fla" is the way the wash irgton Times begins an editorial on the horrors of "boae-dry' prohibition. The last time we observed the Peerless One satisfying the wants of his inner man he was eating something considerably more sustaining than oranges and GUS tard pie.
 While the Mighty Pole'-it is too much trouble to see for the one hundredth time how his consonantal name is spelled-is claiming the championship of the world, there are wrestling fans who recall that Mir. "Strangler" Lewis nearly choked the mighty one to death right here in Birmingham.
 # < E
 General Pershing has involved himself in a pretty row with the prohibitionists by permitting American soldiers to have light wines and beer if they want them. He's probably glad the broad Atlantic separates him from the fanatics in Amer ica.
 # x #
 A contemporary suggests that LaFol- lette is availing himself of the opportu- nifty to dodge publicity. Stuff and non sense. Tis meat and bread to men of LaFollette's stripe, even though they hang for it.
  pugilistic lights to jeer at Hon. Willards prize fighting offer for the benefit of the Red Cross. The lesser lights insin- uate that there is a "joker' in his pro- posal.
 The Age -Herald's city editor, who is now a first lieutenant Somewhere in France,'' seems to think hot water is nearly as hard to get in France as champagne in dryest Alabama.
 * * *
 The New York Worlds facetious edi- torial writer wonders if women drum mers will be able to tell funny stories" Hoot, mon! Some of them are won- ders at it!
 The Birmingham chicken thief who "gassed'' unsuspecting fowls before mak- ing away with them at least spared them the pain of parting from familiar roost.
 * * < Photographs of the Kaiser in Turkish uniform, published in American news papers, have evoked great deal of comment, most of it caustic.
 # * *
 White hairs at 40 means peace" says Winifred Black. Sometimes, winifred, but at other times it means a liberal ap- plication of hair dye.
 A Frenchman can understand how an American wants to drink water, but he strongly believes in water as means of transportation.
 * # *
 Dishonorable discharge from the army won't deter would-be slackers. It takes a prison sentence to worry persons of that sort.
 It is still possible to organize a mur- der syndicate in the larger cities of this country and carry on flourishing busi- ness.
 General Kaledines is apparently about as strong with the Cossacks as President Wilson is with the American people.
 * * #
 Even Judge Hylan's enemies are forced to concede that he has few good ideas pertaining to municipal government.
 * <
 Ella Wheeler Wilcox has written a poem entitled "The Telephone Call"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
as0A Flower Dny

''This has been wonderful season for cut flowers" said Mrs. w. w. otey.
 q can speak for the flower shops in the Tutwiler and in the Empire build ing. I have been informed that the lat ter place took in $500 one day last week. The flower business has grown by leaps and hounds in the Magic City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
Chicken Thieves Busy

Tt is a good thing for the govern inent to try and get people to raise poul- try in their back yards" said M. II. Stiles but I do not believe the move will meet with much success in the Mountain Terrace district, as I think every chicken was lifted by thieves dur ing the holidays. I had mine stolen and my neighbors shared the same fate. There seems to be an organized gang operating in our section"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01

Brewton Standard: With the declara- tion of war on Austria by Congress, a lot of musical stars contracts in this coun- trv become mere scraps of paper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
Fifty Fer Cent Better

Notwithstanding the conditions of the present war and the many calls upon the public, our business was 50 per cent better this year than it was in 1916.' said pr. Earl R. smith, Of the Pegram- Patton Drug company of Bessemer, and although additional help has been secured for the purpose of taking stock, very little along this line has been done as we have all been. kept busy waiting on our cus- toners. Business of all lines is bet ter now than it has been in several years, and every one seems to have lots of money.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01

Lets teach ourselves that honorable stop
 Not to out-sport discretion. -Othello.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Can't Get Alabama Coal

am retail grocer and do business In Guntersville," said F. P. Baldwin.
 Tt seems strange that while we live in Alabama that we have to get all of our coal out of the state on account of freight rates. The Tennessee valley made great corn crop. There Is no hurry, however, to sell it. II seems the farm CTS are holding foodstuffs and selling cotton to get what cash they need. l am finding it mighty hard to keep up with all the things the government is requiring us to, but I am not worrying about the extra work. as I know it's a good thing for the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-01

to his own as never before. The Magic City has learned the lesson of service.
 A year ago you could hardly go to public meeting unless some one asked, What is the matter with Birmingham" How the answers varied. The papers discussed it, the ministers preached about 1t, the civic bodies gave out the ories. the merchants admitted it. It was laid at the door of this and that until every gathering was depressing and crepe wao the order of the day. Then some one, I believe it was Hill Fergu- son, proposed that we never propound the question any more, but just do our best to forget it. For months 1t was allowed to rest in a state of innccuous desuetude and no one has had the te- merity to try and resurrect it.
 Then when we failed time and again to land some big government enterprise like the armor plate plant. the canton ment. the federal reserve bank or what not, it vas the fashion at every confer ence for some orator to get up and plead that we catch ''the Atlanta Spirit" This was worked night and day until at last somebody had the sense to put a quietus in giving the Gate City any more free advertising. We had buried the parrot-like question of What is the matter with Birmingham and inferred the .'Atlanta Spirit This was some thing, but not enough.
 Then came the entrance of America into the war. bringing with it big issues
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
Simon Tannler Writes to Robert Kennedy About Army Life Over
 There.
KICKS IN THE AR M Y
He Says There Are Less Things to Put up with Than There Are in
 Civil Life.

Robert Kennedy has received an interesting letter from Simon Tann- Ter, formerly of Juneau, now with the "Colors in France" He says in part:
 "I received your letter a few days ago and was very glad to hear from you, and I would like to hear from some of the other Brother Moose. 1 have been giving Brothers in my company your let ter to read. Kennund is in my com pany. I did not know he was a Moose until you told me, and l have travelled with him since we left Fort Mcdowell, Calf.
 ''Well, Bob, l have been in France since the 4th of March. We are having pretty nice weather and the climate is different from Alaska. ] would like to have been at your Ju neau dance, but otherwise would rather be in the Army in No Mans Land; it is not so bad as lots of fellows say. We have some kickers toO, III thc SohlpdHy, pbt .hSJ oi ' naturally born kickers. There may be lots of things in the Army mar doesn't like, but l have run UT against more things in civil life that didn't like There are some 25 or 30 men from Alaska here, SC there is lots to talk about the Yu- kon and the far north. l have told the boys from Alaska about losing the high steps in the line in Juneau, but l do not believe they care much about it, as the girls in France look pretty good"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
Fish SaIting & Bly, Products Company Will Build One in the
 Fall.
HAS STARTED SEASON
Dolphin Is Being Repaired in Juneau to Be Used by Company in Its
 Operations.

A large herring plant will be built in the Fall at Killisnoo by the Alaska Fish Salting & By-Prod- ucts Company, according to word received in Juneau.
 At the present time the company is busy putting up salt fish. It has already begun the season with good initial catch The fish are running in good shape and from all indications there will be good season.
 The Dolphin is being repaired in Juneau to be used by the firm. John Ratchye is looking after the carpenter work, and it is expected the boat will be ready for operation inside of two weeks
 According to word received, there is considerable activity at Kills moo. In addition to the Natives, more white people than ever bef" are being employed there by the cannery and fish companies, and there are several Juneauites work ing there.
 This is the company which has been using herring for fertilizers. The fish now being caught are be- ing salted and conyertetd into food products and next fall the plant will be enlarged and remodeled in order to utilize the herring strictly for food purposes Experienced Norwe- gian fishermen and others claim that the Alaska herring, if properly put up, is superior to the imported ar ticle, and there is already a growing market for the Alaska herring.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
NENANA MAY GET WOOL

According to word received this morning by Governor Thomas Riggs, Jr., the White House wool set aside for the Fourth Division will go to w. l.. Packer of Nenana for $212, unless some person at Ruby has exceeded this bid. The wire received by the Governor this morning says that the wires between Ruby and Fairbanks are down and it is impossible to get word from the latter place as to the amount of the highest bid recorded there. The Elks get the wool for this Division.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31

ONLY A FEW LEFT
 We have a few sacks of Seed Po- tatoes left and will sell them for S2.5o a sack they are sprouting fine.
 GoLDSTEINS EMPORIUM.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31

Give us your next oder 'oF rms. fer work or coal. J,Aeau Transfer Company. Phone 48
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
NEW PLAN FOR HELPING SAVE
 NECESSARY FOOD

LONDON, May 2S.-An interesting scheme for helping food production has been started in the suburbs of Hampstead, one of the most desir- able residential sections of London. The arrangement is for sites to be built in a field close to the suburb and the residents are to have their own pigs and maintain them there. These pigs will be far enough away from the houses not to be a nuisance and they will make good use of the food refuse of the homes. An ex- pert is to be placed in charge of the whole enterprise.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31

Are your coal bins empty? Phone Femmer and Ritter, l14.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
Empire Urged by Manager Great Organization Speed Up Tobacco Fund for
 Boys in France.
MEN WANT s M 0 K E s
Soldiers at Front Ask for More Tobacco Than Red Cross Is Able to Fur
 niSh Them.

The Alaska Daily Empire is in re- ceipt of the following self-explana tory letter from the National head quarters of the American Red Cross, written on the general stationery of that organization, containing the thames of President Wilson, former President Taft, Chairman Henry P. Davison, General Manager Harvey D. Gibson and the others:
 THE AMERICAN RED CROSS
 National Headquarters
 Washington, D. C., May 15, 1918. The Daily Empire,
 Juneau Alaska.
 Gentlemen:
 The Red Cross Commission in France is continually receiving re quests from the commanding officers for supplying great quantities of to- bacco for the use of the American Expedtionary Force in France The efforts of your paper and other pa pers in the country to secure funds especially designated for the purchase of tobacco for our Army abroad, has made it possible thus far for the Red Cross to respond to practically all Of these requests for tobacco without it being necessarily to expend any Red Cross funds for this purpose. 1 We have just received from our amount of tobacco which we have been able to supply them with in the past is not nearly enough to answer i the urgent calls which we are re- i ceiving and will receive ill the fu- ture. l give below some extracts from recent cables received from our Commission bearing on this subject:
 March 7th-Not over 300 cases ! tobacco in all our store houses. Last months distribution 1000 cases. I March 23th. Have now distributed all newspaper tobacco and should have more How much can we ex ! pect monthly.
 Il March 2Sth--We need 175 cases of \ newspaper tobacco a month for each Army Division.
 II Aprll otu-DINlSlOlldl bouiSo o"t troops scattered detachments unde; training as we'll as sick and wound ed. all make irresistible demand fol more tobacco. Minimum needs IT! cases per month for each Division We must be able to supply such de mand as we had this week wher American aviator who recently haf brought down two Boche machines 1T one day walked miles in rain to gel tobacco for himself and comrades.
 We are depending on you and hope that it will be possible for you to in crease your activities in this line tt meet the increasing demand. The need is gaining as the number o troops abroad grows. We sincerely hope that you can make your endeav ors proportionate and that you vii be able to furnish us with large quantity to equal the needs as indi cated to us from abroad.
 Very truly yours.
 H. D. GIBSD&, l. Gene Manage
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
Summons for Publication.
No. 1741-A.

NO. ll4I-A. In the District Court for the Dis trict of Alaska, Division No. One, at Juneau.
 Marietta Bruno, Plaintiff, vs. Stef- ano Bruno, Defendant. TO Stefano Bruno, the above named defendant, Greeting:
 In. the name of the United States of America, you are hereby com manded to appear in the above en- titled court holden at Juneau in said Division and District and an swer the complaint filed against you in the above entitled action within thirty days from the date of serv- ice of this summons and a copy of said complaint upon you; and if you fail to so appear and answer, for want thereof the plaintiff will take judgment against you for a disso lution of the bonds of matrimony- now existing between the plaintiff md defendant; and will apply to he court for the relief demanded In said complaint, copy of which is served herewith.
 The date of the order for publi- cation of this summons Is May 18th, 1918, the period of publication pre- scribed in said order is six weeks, md the time within which the oe- 'endant is required to appear and answer said summons Is thirty days after the last publication.
 Dated at Juneau, Alaska. May 15, 1918.
 J. w. BELL,
 Clerk District Court, District
 of Alaska, Division, No. i.
 By John T. Reed, Deputy. (SEAL)
 First publication May 16. 1918. Last publication, June 20, 1918.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
NEW CAMERA IS
 BEING USED BY
 ALLIES IN FIELD

LONDON, May 29.-A new "mul- tiple camera" with which Allied airmen are now equipped is a de- velopment of the motion picture ra- meras. An airplane observer can take thousands of photographs at sary. In this way it is possible to map the German lines with precis- ion Each camrea is caple of 750 exposures with single loading. The turning of the film for the new eX- posture is accomplished automatical-
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
REPUBLICAN MEETING.

There will be meeting of the Republicans tonight in Ponds 2x4 hall for the purpose of selecting del- egates to a convention in Juneau at which a Legislative ticket will be nominated for the First Division.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31
NEW MAT AT MARKET

B. Faye, who for several months past has been meat cutter at the Treadwell Market. has resigned his position with that company and El- mer Jackson will now take charge.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-31

For a little chat and a bite to eat there's no place like THE GASTI- NEAU - ANY TIME, ALL THE TIME, ANY TIME. s''
La prensa. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1913-1962, 1918-05-15
f. E(.SfRVICI()P()SIAZ
P()RfL. ARE HOYSE
|NAljCljRARA
ENTIRE MUEVAyCRk
Y WASHINGTON
TcIegrama CSpcclaI para Ii pEENSA.

NUEVA YORK, Mayo l4.-Si eI
tempo 10 permite, manana empezara
de una manera positiva el servlclo
aereo entire esta ciudad Y Ia de Wash
!ngton. seglln 10 anunci6 aver e! Ad-
ministraGor de Correos de Nueva
York. Mr.. Thomas &. Patton.
F. seIvicio Sc inaugurara las once
v media de la manana. hora en- que
partira el primer aeroplano de! Par
que Belmont. de eSta cludad, al mis-
mo tempo que otra maquina saldra
de los terrenos de polo de Washing
ton con runlbo a Nueva York. IL
viaje en- cada camino Sc espera que
durara cerca de tres horas.
Sc ha hecho IN arreglo por el Ad.
ministrador de Correos Patten con e!
Ferrocarril de Long Island para que
la correspondence que Sc ha de con-
ducir por la ruta aerea, sea traspor-
tada en- un tren especial de esta clu-
dad al Parque Belmont. en- venti-
cinco minutes. Ninguna correspon-
cia Sc aceptara para este servncio
despues de las 1890 a. m. pueS el
correo saldra de la oficina central
todos los dias las II a. NJ. para es-
tar en- el Parque oportunamente.
Ell aeroplano que hara el vuelo dc
Washington para esta ciudad, deoera
llegar al Parque Belmont & las dos
media de la tarde eu punto las oa-
lijas de correspondence que traiga
estaran en- Ia oficina central de CO.
rreos las p. m, para que pueda
SER repartida normalnlente por los
carteros. Cuando por cualesQuiers
ciecunstuncias el aeroplano Sc rel
tarde en- su viaje Y Ia correspondent
cia no llegue a tempo para el repar'
TO normal, Sc enviara les destma'
tarios por mensaieros especia!es.
En- el primer correo que parta ma,
mana por Ia manana de esta ciudad
para Washington, Sc enviaran 40:
ejemplares de la obra Las FSHEte
ras de la Libertad," del Secretsrio dt
Ia Guerra, Mr.. Newton D. Baker, qus
] iran dirigides, uno al Presidente vii