davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly journal-miner., 1918-05-29

In spite ol two-ring opposition Capitol hl Barnum Bailey did good business Washington both of em have been dead for years
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
BUT TEACHER MIGHT OBJECT
Fathers Solution of Problem Was
Practical Thor1h II Wasn't Work
co Out Alphabetically.

District Attorney Swami was talking
about New York's moral crusade.
1--WE get suggestions for this difficult
crusade" ne said. that in their rough
and-ready quality remind me of the al
zebra story.
Little Willie was porting over his
books one evening, when his father
bent over him complacently and said
Cant help you. sonT
AZ wish you would, father said
Willie. I've got an algebra problem
here, and it's awful hard
algebra. Ell? Well. let's see her.
$50 little Willie handed her over
The problem reSd:
If A does a piece of work In eleven
days, and b does II in two days. how
long would it take them to do it to
gether?
THE old man frowned. Then he
said
"what makes you think this is al.
zebra, boy?'
because said Willie, it's got an A
and d b in it,
His father frowned harder than
ever.
"Well, he finally said, the only
proper thing to do in case of this kind
Is, Of course, to fire A."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
KIDNEY TROUBLE NOT
EASILY RECOGNIZED
Applicants for Insurance Often
Rejected

An examining physician for one of the
prominent life insurance companies, in an
interview of the subject, made the as
tonishing statement that one reason why
so many applicants for insurance are re-
jected is because kidney trouble is so COM
mon to the American people, and the large
majority of those whose applications are
declined do not even suspect that they
have the disease.
Judging from reports from druggists
who are constantly in direct touch with
the public, there is one preparation that
has been very successful in overcoming
these conditions. The mild and healing
influence of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root is
soon realized. 1t stands the highest for
its remarkable record of success.
We find that Swamp-Root is strictly
an herbal compound and we would adj
wise our readers who feel in need Of such a
remedy to give it trial. 1t is on sale
at all drug stores in bottles of two sizes,
medium and large.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send zen cents to DR..
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, n. Y, for a
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention ~this paper.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

To drive tank, handle the guns, and
sweep over the enemy trenches, takes
strong nerves, good rich blood, good
stomach, liver and kidneys. When the
time comes, the man with red blood in
his veins 'is up and at it." He has iron
nerves for hardships-an interest in his
work grips him. That's the way you
feel when you have taken a blood and
nerve tonic, made up of Blood root,
Golden Seal root, Stone root, Cherry
bark, and rolled into a sugar-coated
tablet and sold in sixty-cent Walls by al
most all druggists for past fifty years
as DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov-
cry. This tonic, in liquid or tablet form,
is just what you need this spring to
give you vim, vigor and vitality. At the
flag end of hard winter, no wonder
you feel rundown" blue, out of sorts.
Try this Medical Discovery" of Dr.
Pierce's. Don't waiti To-day is the
day to beginl A little ''pep," and you
laugh and live.
The best means to oil the machinery
of the body, put tone into the liver.
kluHeyS anu ClTtuldloIy system, Is 10
first practice a good housekeeping.
know of nothing better as laxative
than vegetable pill made up of May
apple. leaves of aloe and jalap. This
is commonly sold by all druggists as
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, and
should be taken at least once week 10
clear the twenty-five feet of intestines.
You viii thus clean the system-expel
the po.S9Hs and keep toeH. Noio is
the time to clean house. Give yourself
a spring house cleaning.-Ady.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

An Eskimo myth relates that when
a girl was at a party someone told his
love for her by shaking her shoulders
after the manner Of the country. She
could not see who Il was in the dark
hut: she smeared her hand with SCOT,
and when he came back she blackened
his cheek with her hand. When a light
was brought she saw that 1t was her
brother and fed. He ran after her and
followed her, but as she came to the
end of the earth she sprang cut into
the sky Then she became the sun and
is always chasing the sun through the
heavens. and wby the moon is some
timer dark as he turns his blackened
cheek toward the earth"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Easily Explained.

The minister had called in the home
Of one of his parishioners. There was
a bald-headed baby in the house, also
another child with beautiful brown
eyes and soft golden curls. The min.
lister was struck with the beauty of
the little one and said: where did
you get your big brown eyes. and your
pretty curly hairY" The child looked
at him In wonder and said: 81 had my
eyes when come. and my hair
growed."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
To Cut Prices.

Ex-Mayor Mitchell of New York was
talking at dinner about war prices.
These war prices are staggering"
he said. They're very hard TO com
bat, too. When a man comes along
with simple easy method for bring
ing war prices down to the pre-war
level, his idea is app to be about as
valuable as Josh's.
Josh said at the club one day:
1.-The high cost of living is fierce,
but l can't tell you how to cut your
bills in half
"'How? HowT the big clubroom
chorused.
"'Use an ordinary pair of shears
said Josh"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
How PxramIds Were Rullt.

In looking at pictures Of tie pyra-
mids and the Sphinx every one has
wondered how these great M ments
could be built in an age there
was no such thing as a steam derrick.
Discussion upon the point has run
through ire centuries. An English en-
gineer has bit upon what appears to
be the true explanation. His opinions
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Good for Some Love letter.

A letter written with a solution Of
iodide Of starch in water Is perfectly
legibie for q few days II is not. prop
erly speaking, in the invisible" cate
gory-at all events. for a while. But
writing thus made has the advantage
that after d week or two u fades out
and vanishes forever leaving 10 evil
dence that can be used against Its
author
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Had He Picked out His GeneraI7


Ben HapgOod Burt, who writes popu-
lar songs, was barhngulng a group Of
his fellow members of a theatrical club
In New York city upon the subject Of
patriotism In the present national cri-
sis. 1t was his contention that every
man should do his bit--in the fighting
line, II possible.
Look here, Ben" spoke up n list
ener; 81 haven't heard that you have
enlisted yourself, yet"
"Oh, I've got my job all picked out r.
said Burt. "And what's more, It's go
Ing to be a Job in the army, too"
"What sort Of a place are you going
to fill7" asked another.
I'm going to be chauffeur 10 gen
eral with yellow streak" said Burt.
New York feeds ZOO animals on
horsefiesh.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Small but Expensive.

Quiet observer wonders how IT can
be that the slight little woman who
says. mo, I'd rather stand" when
the Tat man offers his seat in the car.
Immediately drops into the space his
bulk has occupied and fills II to the
last little corner.-Seattle Post-Intel-
ggenceT.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Question for Nurse.

Jane was enjoying her evening meal
In the nursery, made up of milk, scram-
bled eggs, and a dish of stewed prunes.
She was quiet for a while, and then
asked her nurse this question: "NOrah.
If the moo COW has the milk and the
chickens have the eggs. who has the
prunes?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
catarrh Cannot Be Cured

by LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they
cannot reach the seat of the disease.
Catarrh is a local disease, greatly influ-
enced by constitutional conditions. HALLS
CATARItH MEDICINE will cure catarrh.
II is taken internally and acts through
the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces Of the
System. HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE
Is composed Of some OF the best tonics
known, combined with some of the best
blood purifiers. The perfect combination
OF the ingredients in HALLS CATARRH
MEDICINE is what produces such won
derful results IN catarrhal conditions.
Druggists 75c. Testimonials free.
+. J. Cheney & Co, Props. Toledo. o.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

are supported by the evidence of an
Gent inscriptions upon tombs and
temples. This engineer states that In
building a pyramid the Egyptians con
structed an inclined roadway to the
level of which the work had reached
As the pyramid grew taller, the angle
Of the road constantly grew sleeper.
and its length greater. Up this road
way passed all tie material required
in building the pyramid. hauled by
slaves aud pack animals.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
FRECKLES
Now Is the Tine to Get Rid Of These Ugly SpOtI

There's no longer the slightest need Of
feeling ashamed OF your freekles, as the pre-
seription othine-double strengths guar.
anteed TO remove these homeiy spots.
Simply get an ounce Of othine-doubls
strength-from your druggist. and apply a
little of Il night and morning and you should
soon see that even the worst freekles have
begun to disappear, while the lighter once
have vanished entirely. 1t is seldom that
more than one ounce is needed TO completely
clear the skin and gain a beautiful clear
com plexion.
Be sure 70 ask for the double strength 9TH
fne, az this is sold under guarantee OF money
back II II fails to remove freckies.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
skin Troubles That Itch

Burn and disfgure quickly soothed
and healed by hot baths with Cuti-
cura Soap and gentle anointings of Gu
ticura Ointment. For free samples.
address, 'Cutieura, Dept. X, Boston"
Sold by druggists and by mail. Soap
%, Ointment 25 and 5O.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
economy.

you must be crazy, Isabel. I've
asked you repeatedly TO be economical.
and yet you go and order the most ex-
pensive fnr coat in the shop"
"Well, l don't mind being economical
but l do object to looking economical"
Life.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

ANY kind of stain on a white table
cloth may be removed by rubbing with
just little prafiin just before sending
It 70 wash. If this is done the stain
will come ont in the boiling.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Hors.raeInn an Old sport.

Chester was probably the first place
IN England where b0rseracing was es-
tablished. as in 1909 the mayor Of that
city offered q prize fo= such a contest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Saw the Resemblance.

Edward saw his father in his dress
suit for the first time the other eve.
ming. He looked him over from head
TO foot, then said: you look just like
u gentleman, daddy"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
B0SCHEE'S GERMAN SYRUP

will quiet your cough. soOthe the ip-
aammation Of sore throat and lungs,
stop irritation In the bronchial tubes,
lnsuring a good nights rest, free from
coughing and with easy expectoratiGn
in the morning. Made and sold In
America for fifty-two years. A won
ierful prescription, assisting Nature in
building up your general health and
throwing off the disease. Especially
Useful In lung trouble, asthma, Group,
bronchitis, etc. For sale in all civil
zed countries.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

as there a game center anywhere
around heref" ''Yes. sir; there's my
pointers nose"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

As a new cotton picking machine Is
lriven over a field four men follow II
and pick the boIls with nozzles con-
1ected to pneumatic apparatus with
which Il is equipped,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Moderation.

"For a pesslmist, you are quite
cheerful" I'm what is known as an
optimistic pesslmist."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Why Not.

Held like to print kissOn those
ruby lips" She-"Why not place q
ruby ring on these fngers?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
When Your Eyes Need Care
Try Murine Eve Remedy

20 susrriag - Just Bye Comfort sc eents a.
DruGgis-s OF nail Write for Free BFe BOOK.
MURINE EYE REMEDY CO.. CHICAGO
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13
Up 70 Date.

"Come, my pet, let US travel into
Sunderland" "All right, daddy dear.
Shall we take a sleeperT"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-03-13

New York feeds ZOO animals on
horsefiesh.
The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1918-12-20

Pretty gift worthy qualities
In pure-thread silk hose
fun "fashioned. with double
reinforced heels. soles, toes
and wide elastic garter tops
white, black and a number
OF good colors, spec &I m
ial, at. q pair .. 0IIUV
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
War Savins, Society.

A meeting of the New Oregon War
Savings Society was held at the New
Oregon schoolhouse Monday evening,
Oct. 7th. Nine new names were add
ed to the society making total MEM
bership of forty. The teacher, Emma
Smith, and her scholars gave fine
program. Kenneth Fiske played seve-
raj pieces on his violin which every
body enjoyed, after which Will Tillson
gave Q very interesting talk on the
war and our duty as to giving and saw
ing. r.
Further notice will be~given of the
next meeting. Everybody is invited to
these meetings. 1t is your duty to te
there.
Mrs. Geo. Hill, Sec'y.
Mrs. A. H. Rucker, Pres.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
Fatal Threshing Accident.

Jim McIntire was fatally injuIed last
Monday afternoon while at work with
. threshing rig operating on the Harry
Harvey farm few miles east Of Plym-
outh Rock. While cleaning straw and
chaff from the side of the separator
with his left arm bis sleeve was caught
by the belt and he was thrown against
the machine and thence to the ground
about rod from the machine, frac.
turing his skull and both arms, causing
injuries that caused death in few
hours without regaining consciousness.
The funeral was held yesterday after
noon at the M. E. church, Rev. Bock-
oven officiating in the absence-of the
M. E. pastor, in charge Of the Wood
men of the World, who conducted the
service at the grave in Oak Lawn.
James Alexander McIntire, Jr., was,
born at Frankville, Ia, Dec. 9th, 1884,
where he resided in Frankville, and vi
cinity until 16 years of age, when he
moved with his parents to Howard
county where they resided on farm
four miles north of Cresco until 1906.
when he with his parents moved to
Cresco where he has since made his
home. -
He died at the age of 80 years and 10
months on Oct. 8th, 1918.
He is survived by his parents, Mr.
and Mrs. James McIntire, four BROTH
ers and two sisters, one neice and three
nephews. The following relatives sur
vive: MIR. and Mrs. G. A. Renne and
son Floyd Of Cedar Rapids, Ia, Leslie
McIntire of Mason City, Ia, Mr.. and
Mrs. Clark McIntire and children Mar
guerite and Clark Jr., Mr.. and Mrs.
Leonard McIntire and son William, of
Cresco, Ia, Harry o. of Camp Dodge.
Ia, and Mrs. A.. C. Kronenberger of
Minneapolis and husband ''Over the
Sea-"
"Jim," as he was familiarly called,
was a man of genial nature, a faithful
friend and an honest. dependable man.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
Local Instruction Board.

The Howard county Local Board act.
ing under authorization from the war
department has created q board of in
struction whose duty it will be to give
personal instruction designed to make
the selective service men more efficient.
The instruction is to be given here be-
fore the men are called to camp. The
local committee is composed Of
Rev. ]. P. Wagener, Chairman.
Rev. w. A. Bockoven, ~
j. H. Howe, .r.'
C. w. Reed. ~ 8
The services of this board are ren.
dered without compensation and the
meetings of registrants IN Class one
will be held from time to time by order
of the Local Board. ...- a
Among the subjects that will be TAX
en- up will be: Why America entered
the War; Why America must win the
War; The necessary character of the
American soldier; Morality and the
avoidance OF liquor as patriotic obli-'
cation; Explanation of the value of
military training; The chances for pro-,
motion. The aid and friendly support
of the Red Cross; The Army K. of c.;
The Y. M. C. A.; The Hebrew Welfare
Board and many other interesting
topics will be presented and explained
by this Instruction Board. Arrange-
ments for drilling will also be made.
Registrants in Class one will hold
themselves in readiness to meet for the
purpose of receiving instructions at the
call of the Local Board. 80
The Board of Instruction will prove
to be a most valuable aid 70 registrants'
as it will be in position to give correct
information regarding the duties they
will be called upon TO assume.
The chairman of the board at Mason
City wrote Father Wagener as follows:
''You are doing good work in Howard
county and congratulatn you upon
your initiative and zeal. You are the
first one to report definitely on what
has been taken up. 49,.
The local instruction board strongly
urges registrants to- take advantage OF
the instruction offered by this board.
These instructions are compulsory. but
the military instruction is not. It is OF
grert value to the individual, however.
and is il estimated puts him shout
three weeks ahead when he goes into
camp. It is suggested that persons
who have autos can render patiotic.
service by bringing in the boys who
live in distant parts Of the county,
Wednesday and Saturday evenings are
the days set and the hour is 7:3O. This
board is serving without compensation
and hopes that it will receive the loyal
cooperation of all citizens as we'll as
the registered men.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
Charges Unfounded.

For some time past reports have been
circulated relating to certain unpatriot.
ic statements alleged to have been
made by Lou Maronde of Davis Cor
ners. The matter finally came to the
attention of . secret service officer, F.
C. Gilmore, who after making an in
vestigation found that there was no
evidence to support the charges made
against Mr.. Maronde.
Mr.. Marohde offers $l00 reward to
any one who will prove where the lie
started.
Jas. N. Smith,
Chairman Council of Defense
Howard Center Twp.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
MARRIED.
.COURTNEY-NEUBAUER.

gE COURTNEY-NEUBAU
: The Assumption church, Cresco, Iowa,
at 1000 o'clock on Tuesday, Oct. 9th,
was the scene of a very pretty we'd
ding, the contracting parties being
Mr.. Michael Courtney and Miss Anna
F.. Neubauer. The marriage ceremony
was performed by Father ]. H. Court
ney, a brother of the groom.
After the marriage ceremony q
solemn mass was celebrated by Father
Courtney, assisted by Father Mullen,
as deacon, and Father Have, as sub
deacon. The music was furnished by
the Assumption choir and the dtars
were appropriately decorated for the
occasion. r.
The groom is one of the prosperous
and efficient farmers of Bluffton twp.
He is highly respected by all who know
him. "...
The bride is the second youngest
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. James
Neubauer, of Orleans twp. She is
highly esteemed and beloved by all in
the community in which she lives. She
has hosts of friends who congratulate
her on her choice of life partner.
She was attired in q gown Of white
satin trimmed with embroidered silk
chiffon, silver lace and pearl beads,
and wore q wreath and veil to match
and carried boquet of red and white
Killarney roses.
The attendants were T. F. Connor,
a personal friend of the groom, and
Miss Josephine Neubauer, a sister OF
the bride. The bridesmaid wore a
gown of white silk poplin trimmed with
shadow lace.
After the wedding ceremony the
bridal party repaired to the home of
the brides parents. where a sumptu GUS
dinner was served to the invited guests
and clergy, viz: Revs. Courtney, of
Toranto; Sampson, Of Bluffton; Ryan
and Landolft, of Cresco; Hagan, of De-
eorah; Mullen, of Lamott; and Have,
Of Dubuque. The dining room was
tastefully decorated with he:national
colors. During the dinner hour the
orchestra played several selections
appropriate to the occasion.
Mr.. and Mrs. Courtney departed on
the evening train for an extended
Eastern trip. They will be at.:home to
thsff friends after November first.
Among the many valuable presents
this couple received was an automobile
presented to the groom by the :bride.
and beautiful Kimball piano1present-
ed to the bride by brother Of the
groom.
May their married life be one OF sun
shine, happiness and prosperity is the
wish of their friends.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
Rev. Copeland Returns tolCreseo.

Rev. Copeland Returns toICreseo.
The list Of appointments given out at
Clinton on Monday includes the return
of Rev. E. G. Copeland to the Cresco
N. E. church, as requested by the Of
fetal board, although We understand
that from motives of health, Rev. Cope.
land desired IN assignment to q church
in milder climate. Other assign
ments in this vicinity are as follows:
Chester Roscoe Sires.
Decorah-A. r. Grant.
Lime Springs-C. w. Haroy.
Ridgeway-S. L. Bear.
Riceville C. Lusk.
Former Cresco pastors are assigned
as follows: F. P. Shaffer to Tams,
John Gammons to La Porte City and
Will Kerwin to Upton.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
Farm for Sale! !!

The Hallisy farm located 5 miles
southwest of Harmony is for sale.
The farm consists of 160 acres, except
the schoolhouse lot few rods from the
dwelling. Practically all is under cult.
vation. Anyone desiring to own farm
in, one of the best agricultural districts
of the state will do well to consult the
undersigned. For price and terms,
apply to TOILET SANDERsoN at the
Harmony State Bank.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1918-10-11
A Correction.

We are asked to correct statement
in our Twin Village correspondence last
week as follows: ''We wish to cor
rect your correspondent in one of lasa
weeks items. The picnic held at the
Weinkauf farm was not a German"
picnic, but a Lutheran Sunday School
picnic, absolutely American. Signed,
-''The Sunday School, Granger, MINI. -