El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-01-26
Little Boobies Pa.
Ma Wishes To Do Something
Patriotic and Decides to Keep
On Feeding Pa and BObbie.
BY WILLIAM +. KIRK.

SEE the ladies is ackting as mo-
tormen & mail carriers etc. in
L sum of our leeding cities. sed Ma
to Pa last mite. must look around
me, sed Ma, & find out what can do
to maik myself useful
Rite for you. sed Pa. Three cheers
for them patryotick ladies' witch is
going to bat for thar nativ land, sed
Pa. Beefoar you maik up yure mind
jest what branch of the Service you
viii talk up. sed Pa. how about lit
tel dinner for US three?
You newer went with out yure
dinner. deerest. sed Ma; doant git
nervus 7 am RELY deep in ernest.
tho. sed Ma, about doing something
to help my country rite now.
The way for wimmen TO help the
most, sed Pa. is to feed the heroes
Isent that so. Bobbie2 sed Pa
The heroes around this house
usually gifts fed. sed Ma I see one
big fat hero & a nttel fat hero git
ting reddy rite now for thare eevinS
fodder, Ma sed. But I do feel that
thare must be sumthing I can do TO
help the nashun-sumthing outside
Of my house hold dutys. sed Ma, sum-
thing big & braiv.
Bless the ladies, sed Pa, how can
this country Io1e a war wen its ladies
is so full Of Pep2 Moar power to you
deer, sed Pa. I viii put my keen
brane to work on the problem, Pa
sed. & maybe beefoar long I Will hit
on sumthing you can do which viii
refleck CRATE credit on me K you
both, sed Pa Only wuddent want
you to be q mail carrier, sed Pa, II
wud naik you so tired that wen mite
CAIN you wud ask me TO buy you
OttOmobeel, witch Wud be a vary BAD
etc. sed Pa
I want to do sumthing besides
knitting, sed Ma, I have woar out
three 90 sets Of big needels knit
ting things for the sOljers.
I want to do sumthing bigger &
noabler. like inventing a crate gun or
a crate air ship or sumthing. 1 had
a dream last mite. Ma sed, that had
invented a airship witch was so big
that il carried a milyun bombs &
dropped them on a German camp
That was a very patry-otiek dreem,
sed Pa dreemed that had found a
way 10 maik peepul stop fiteing for
ever. Pa sed- That was a crate dreem,
sed Pa. but jest wen I was going to
talk il up with Mister Wilson you
called me to anser the dumb waiter &
git the ice, sed Pa, wich chilled my
ambishun-
The wimmen is certainly anxshus
to talk thare share Of this crate bur
den. sed Ma. I am in dedly ernest
& so are the other winner.
Well, sed Pa wen the wimmen git
in dedly ernest sumthing dedly usu-
ally happens. sed Pa The feemail Of
the sDeeshies is moar dedlier ernest
than the mail. sed Pa But while you
are casting about. sed Pa, you cud
be peeling three 90 spuds & putting
them on TO boil Pa sed. Boobies face
is Citing kind Of long. I feer the lit
tel man is hungry, sed Pa
feer the big man is hungry too.
sed Ma After all. sed Ma, feel that
wen a woman feeds two such sin-ceer
eeters as you & Bobbie she is RELY
doing a crate work for the Cause,
sed Ma
Quite true spoken. sed Pa, & later
on you can think up sum way to saiv
the nashun. Our main objeck in this
war is to keep Freedom batting 300.
sed Pa, & we can best do this by not
Citing ratified II we shud git rat
tied & fergit to eat. sed Pa, the rec
suit wud be a gloomy speck-tickle-
Be a braiy littel housewife first Of
all, sed Pa. & keep the hoam fires
burning. espeshully the cookstove
fire, sed Pa.
& then Pa smacked his lips &
looked like Rover wen I show him
the dog meet witch I git from our
Irish butcher. We have got a Irish
butcher now.