The Washington herald., 1918-01-20

Three years ago Ruth jackson
borrowed a crepe veil from Jennie
Carter TO go TO her third cousins
funeral.
She forgot TO return it, SO Jen-
ME said. as we'll as some few other
unmentionable articles OF clothing.
Jennie is a very patient girl She
has waited all these three years OF
war, with crepe wells in style the
world over-waiting patiently for
Ruth TO return hers.
Thursday night she called on
Ruth. She discovered that Ruth
had a husband. She didn't know
this before.
Ruth was not at home. Jennie
explained her errand to Albert. her
hubby.
Al, a sort Of a roughneck guy,
gave Jennie some very short an
swers.
Angered. Jennie stamped her foot
, and told Al that she didn't intend
to go until she got her veil.
Al said nothing. He reached be-
hind a door and got a baseball bat
over Jennie's head il went grazing
her scalp.
7 IL IabDh IHt NOuEN NNo u
fine Al $40, enough to buy twenty
wells.
His Name Is Legion.
OF all the henpecked husbands
Tom Brady Is the worst ever.
! Never in all his life has Tom ever
1 did anything that drew a pleasant
smile from friend wify. So he
says.
Since he has been married. he has
actually become stoop shOuldered-
Wifey had him arrested. Not fol
anything particular, but Just be-
cause she didn't like him. He made
her nervous.
She hollered at him one day ant
made him burn his thumb. Ton
then cussed ever so softly.
He dropped the half burnt mattel
on the floor. This called fol
another explosion from wifey. Nor,
swear words from Tom.
Wifey says she got pOked in th'
nose. There were no marks q
prove it. Her nose was naturally
the color of a bruise.
Tom couldn't convince the court
that he had enough nerve to cracl
an eggshelI without hurting som'
hens feelings.
And so he was turned loose. H,
wasn't guilty of hitting wifey. But
oh. boy-wait until he gets home
Once Too often
Ed Stevenson had been working fol
a tailor. His business was TO press
clean and deliver clothes.
1t seems that whenever he wantet
some cash, he would take some ot
his employers money.
For two years Ed has had a hart
| job keeping out OF jail. because tn,
cops always catch him after he pull
a Job.
Heretofore he has been fined a small
amount. and turned loose to do tn,
same thing over again.
In each case his boss softened hi!
heart and interCeded for him.
However. the cops and the pros
ecuting attorneys have become tireC
Of fooling with FL
Even though the tailor for whom
Ed worked last refused TO press tn,
case, the authorities insisted tina
there was work for Ed at the work
house which couldn't wait.
Instead OF cleaning clothes. Ed hsi
been cleaning his employer.
The court sent him down for thirt,
days.
The Nerve of Some People.
After several months Of patien
work. Hattie King managed to fnis
the making OF sofa pillow out o
hundreds OF small pieces OF cloth
She put the pillow in her parlor o.
the sofa. And. Of course, all her visi
tors saw and commented upon he
handiwork
Friday night Marian Coleman cam
around to see Hattie. They had no
seen each other since they left Nor
folk, Va.
Right away Marian noticed the Pill
low. And since IL was such a fine pill
low, she coveted il. She cared naugh
for a certain comma ndment
Hattie didn't miss the pillow unit
half an hour after Marian had gone
1t was OF such size that it couldn't b,
easily swiped. she thought
She hunted all over the house for it
She even looked In her hair receives
on the bureau.
Marian was arrested. The cop
found the pillow under a mattress.
And now the poor girl has gone &
Jail for thirty days to pare potatoe
for prisoners.
TSI AND nH