South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-10-13

try before the soldiers come home
from France haven't as much sense
as a tackhammer. The soldiers are
going TO have a say. They are en-
titled to H.
The war department has ordered
/ $500. coo packages of chewing gum.
I Everything possible apparently is be-
/ ing done 70 make things agreeable
/ for the hundreds Of stenOgraphsrs
/ and typists fiocking 90 Washington
to work in the war department.
Get little more ground ready for
crops There will be a couple Of
million OF German prisoner mouths
to feed next year
!
Bert DeVault understands that it
/ is not true that grandmother invari-
ably calls a leg limb" In case
! OF a table, a chair. an animal. male
! person or girl under 1 2 she calls it
a leg. After that modesty asser-s
itself
The latest returns from Arranged
/ don indicate that everything is pro-
{ crossing satisfactorily and that a
democratic landslide is impending.
OF course. If your trOuser seat gets
1 so slick that YOU occasionally slip Off
/ your chair when you sit down 10 the
[ table. YOU can avoid embarrassment
when company is present by sprink-
| ling rosin dust on the chair seat.
While we have sympathy for the
man who acknowledges that owing
10 circumstances he is unable TO sub
scribe to the Red Cross or Y. NJ. c.
A., we have nothing but contempt
for those who, well able 10 afford il,
put their names down for a certain
amount but inwardly determine they
will never pay it. And, we have sew
eral such cases in Mishawaka. Pub
lish their names!
It may be that the kaiser is not an
expert on foreign languages and for
that reason cannot translate Meme
Meme, Tekel. Upharsin," which
CLEANS upon every wall in Germany
Ii is plain L. :. A. for we have
your measure, Bill. and will proceed
to beat hell out of you"
What is a nonessential indus
try?" asks sen. Edgar Anderson. As
rule, it is the industry the other
fellow is engaged in.
To this day grandmother is so
welded to her darling old past that
the petticoat is the only unIersar-
ment she will mention in the pres
ence of gentlemen, and she must
blush even then. But these prudish
notions don't go with granddaughter.
Gasless. Goddess Sundays.
ShOwless, Sheetless Mondays,
Meatless. Wheatless Tuesdays
Sweetless, Shirtless Wednesdays,
Schoolless. Tasteless Thursdays.
Heatless, Fishless Fridays-and
Payless, Loveless Saturdays.
We're in a devil of a fix.
That was glorious beating the
British and Belgians gave the Ger
mans in Flanders. When next Oc-
tober comes there will be no Ger
mans in Belgium save those who
occupy the cemetery or are work
ing in the prison camps.
Speaking at the Thursday night
prayer meeting OF the Presbyterian
church DR. Burnett referred to the
published fact that Bibles, not
bullets, had whipped Bulgaria. This
coming from a newspaper source led
the reverend divine 20 remark that
he was all the more impressed with
the truth of the statement inasmuch
as the sanity tendencies Of new
paper men were not as a rule en-
phatically strong. The doctor in
his callow youth had been in the
game and knew what he was talk
ing about. For ourselves. we may
here state that our only companions
outside our home circle are preach
ers. and. OF course, one is generally
judged by the company he keeps.
There is no skip-stop about that
ADVANCE III rance II just SWNtpo
forward like monster broom.
II 1t be true that the Germans
have spread the Spanish influenza
an this country. then Germany has
some circulation.
The descendants Of the folks who
hung upon Napoleon's neck until
they got him have negotiated the
strange hold on Wilhelm
Another thing that impressed
Mishawaka in its recent loan cam
paign was, that il Is simply waste
OF time 20 have a top II you deprive
yourself OF the fun OF going over IL.
II is not too early 70 make the
suggestion The German people
need 10 begin their house cleaning,
not emitting the WITHDRAWING OF
their fences. a large number OF
visitors will be with them very soon.
the kind OF people who are used 20
the best the land affords