davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

man doesn't know a blame thing about it.
 When an old man marries a young girl the old man gets the sympathy, but it is the young girl who is entitled to the sympathy.
 We don't know why. But it af- lords the average man a heap of satisfaction when an absconding cashier is a Pillar in the Church or Sunday School Superintendent.
 Women know how to get bargains in other things. But a lot of them dig up might cheesy husbands.
 The reason why a man has a kit ten when he has to sit in a barber chair for 20 minutes while a barber cuts his hair, is because he wants to get out so he can stand in front of a bar for three hours.
 It makes a Corn Fed girl mad to have thin man offer her his seat in a crowded street car. She could not possibly squeeze into the space he occupied, and he merely attracts attention to the thickness of her beam.
 You have often noticed how will lingly and cheerfully a druggist waits on you when all you want to purchase is postal card, haven't you? Neither have We, brother, neither have we.
 The average married man is so .elfish that he fails to realize that his burden brings compensations.
 A boy can do an errand in ten minutes if he goes alone. But if he takes another boy with him it .akes him an hour and ten minutes
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
DEAD SHOTS IN CONGRESS
Washington Post

If all the members and officers of the House an Senate were drafted for service the firing line in France there would be two veterans who would prove themselves be the equal of most marksme of France or England, other country. Ther' are very few good shots in either House of Congres it is said and no member of either body can com pare with Jerry South, of Arkansas Chief Clerk o the House of Representatives rifle shot. Nil South was known Arkansas the best shot in tha part of the country in his younger days, and he still there with the eye The other man under tho dome is Senator Mark Smith of Arizona.
 It is very difficult thing to put five shots il silver dollar a hundred yards, yet Jerry Soul has done it a dozen times. Senator Smith has tried he said, 5000 times, perhaps to do the same thing but the best he has done to plant fou shots Always would outside or cling to th' outer edge of the dollar. He attributed his falur' to imperfection of powder shell, the whim o the wind The Senator said that he had tre. placing rifle wise and seeing that nothing moved the gun but invariably shot would fai of it's mark. The old Mills rifle-a muzzle loader which used in the early days of the war and al terwards by many hunters, the best rifle eve invented, according to Senator Smith.
 The other day Senator Smith offered to be Jerry South that he could not repeat his performance of placing five shots in dollar. Jerry wanted tt take the bet but he asked to make test, Whel he came back he declined because he said, the old time coordination between the eye and the finge had gone.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

would see that he did not starve and they have mon ey sometimes That was shown when the enthusiastic Krylenko followed Lenn in his banishment to Gal acia When in exile Lenn, according to the European journals settles down in little house in the country with his wife and his servant In no long time he gathers library of revolutionary literature around him. Pen, ink, and paper provide him with materials for the Improvisation of a code He has become so skilled in this specially says the Paris Gauois, that the most innocent letter imaginable from his pen asking about the welfare of some dear friend in Mos sow may conceal information of vital nature with reference to the latest conspiracy Lenn takes good care not to attract the attention of the neighbors He is in appearance a simple German, engaged ln teaching his native tongue pupils from Lemberg or Cracow At Zakopane, in Galacia, he went about Tn black velvet coat, occasionally followed by dog Lenin is very fond of animals and he IS great loe of vivsection, about which he has written more than one article in the radical press of Europe One fac confirming the impression that he is German is his fondness of sausage which he took cold at Zakopane washing the links down with the beer of the dis trict He moved into Lemberg one winter and gave a series of lectures on Karl Marx. In warm weather he nrefers the country He has a little garden pack of the bouse in which lives, whenever posslole for the sake of the Mendelan experiments with peas and beans to which he is devoted. One night the Austrian noce raided back garden Of Lenns and unearthed box of compromising documehts "heie the vegetables were growing expermentally.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
INDEPENDENT ALASKA
fNenana NeWS)

Alaska is slowly but surely nearing a state O independence regards food supply. We alread. have vegetables in abundance, meat supply ii practically inexbaustible, if properly conserved, an the day is distant when Alaskans will be able to produce sufficient wheat to fill the flour require ments of the Territory.
 M. D. Snodgrass. who is in charge of the govern ment experiment farm, a distance up the river from Nenana reports that l250 bushels of grain, in cluding wheat. oats and buckwheat. harvested during the past and that within years, when the government railroad is completed the farm will produce sufficient flour for bread for all in terior besides.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Luke McLuke Says
 This is selfish old world. The average man doesn't care what hap pens just so it doesn't happen to him.
 Men like to brag that they know more about fishing than a woman. But we have often seen girl land 175-pound sucker even when her whole family were trying to lelp him get away.
 Argument may convince man. But it takes fiattery to convince the lverage woman.
 When man claims that he is poor because he is honest, the betting is that he is poor because le is lazy.
 If you want to know how to manage wife, don't ask married nan, ask a bachelor. A married
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
QUAKER CUPS.

Philadelphia Record.)
 War is hell. so, naturally, there's he devil to pay.
 A man may be as straight as a ,tring, but even string gets balled ID.
 There is no reason why good lll-around man shouldn't be on he square.
 Laugh and the world laughs with you but it sometimes laughs in its sleeve.
 The eyes are the windows of the soul, so every fellow should look out for himself.
 Beauty is only skin deep. Even the girl with freckles may have a spotless reputation.
 You cant raise the hopes of a pessimist by telling him there is plenty of room at the top.
 CEETEY,C White pine Tor with
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Breaking IL Gently.

The man had been arrested for 'unning over and injuring a traffic ,op while out. drunk and joy riding with a chicken. He sent for a riend and the friend went to the police station to see him.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Friend" said the man, you had better go to my home and explain his to my wife"
 What will I tell herr" asked he friend.
 First tell her that l was killed, nd then Ngently work up to the limaX," said the man.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

"slacker" is who evades serNoe III 'n army or navy while "sicker" is one who puts on a uniform but never goes the firing line
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

It Much Ado About Nothing but it is McAdoo about everything-( Seattle Post-Intei gencer.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

One really is asounded at the progress oeihs made bv Alaska Natives when all of their handicap are considered
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Wug!

Sweet Mary Hogg will marry me-" Exclaimed the happy MT, Roark; aid I: "It is quite plain to see
 That you are very fond of pork.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
No Joke.

When you are broke, and things
 look drear, Be silent, and don't holler: Tor, while your friends might shed
 tear, Not one would shed a dollar.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Irish brides for Americans show how rapidly the ,,h nooo ; snreadine The Jews will have to loo out.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Though might wear paper pants the
 would not do for the American "pinchback style.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke Copyright by Cincinnati
 Enquirer
Betcha !

Poor Tompkins fell into the bay, Before he sank we heard him say: Ten yards of rope right now would
 be
 Worth twenty miles of sympathy. :"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

The Alaskan with musical beard wants L keen away from the barber shop.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Have the fuel conservatnonsts considered making of the radiating power of the mustard plaster?-( Kansas City Star)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
AW. GWan ]!

"A thirst is just like crops,' said
 First,
 And have cause to know The more you irrigate thirst, The faster it will grow"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Catholic and the Jew who had an agreement that in case any one of the three died the other two were to put $500 each into his casket and have the money buried with him so he could pay his way into the next world. The Protestant died and the Catholic put $500 in cur rency into the casket. The Jew then took out his check book, wrote a check for $1,000, took out the $500 in currency, and put the check in the casket. ...--. Arithmetic. Old Kaiser Bill assumes pose so
 very debonair That all the world just winks and
 says:
 "We'll take his little dare.' And if a bomb should slyly burst
 and kink the Kaiser's strut, Would you subtract or multiply the
 figure that he'd cut?
 Ho0ray, Here is the name of our destin- ation, and what it takes to get there we've to: B rains. E nthusiasm. R esources. L oans. industries. N erve.
 Correct. The way of the transgressor' hard, This fact you cannot disregard; But it is, you'll agree with me, No harder than it ought to be.
 Luke McLuke. The weigh of the transgressor's
 hard,
 And you may send this on its
 rounds; For, when you buy ton of coal. You get some eighteen hundred
 pounds.
 Names Is Names. 1. Fish lives at Grab Orchard, Ky.
 Our Daily Special. The People Who Live in the Glass Houses Throw Most of the Stones.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Mean Brute !

oas a heavenly voice." asked Mrs Matchmaker
 "Well,' growled MT. Oldbach, "i will admit that 1t is unearthly, if hat is what you mean"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, what is a rapid cal ,ulating machine?
 Paw-A gas meter, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Our Joe Miller Contest.
 Mac claims that the oldest joke s the one about the Protestant, the
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

SEELEY'S White Pine Tar with eucalyptus and menthol-for coughs and colds-25c, soc.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Entered second matter November 2, 1913, the posoffice Juneau Alaska, under the Act of March 3, 1879.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Names Is Names.
Our Daily Specia

The People Who Live in the Glass Houses Throw Most of the Stones.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16
Hooray !!
Correct.

The way of the transgressor's hard,
 This fact you cannot disregard; No harder than 1t ought to be. Luke McLuke.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-02-16

Published every evening except Sunday by 'he EMPIRE PRINTING COMPANY. at Seccnd and Main Streets, Juneau, Alaska
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
LOCAL HOSPITALS ARE
ABIDING WITH ORDERS
wheat Substitutes Are Being Used
Wherever Possible" States In.
stitution Official. -
WE HAVE MOVED"

"The hospitals and other similar in.
Stitutions oil the vicinity OF this city
which were included in the statement
of the food administration, yesterday,
concerning the using of flour substi-
tuteS, are well.in advance of many 9th:
cr institutions. of this city in observing
Mr.. Hoovcrs ORDERS" said an official OF
Il local hospital to The lntelligencer
last evening. We have been using
substitutes wherever possible for many
weeks, and more thar that we cannot
do. In all cases where the patient is
in condition 10 stand the use OF
bread containing the substitutes OF
wheat flour it is being used, but there
are many cases in which it would:
mean death if it were used. There: are!
some patients who cannot stand the;
use OF any other than wheat flour" -,
Tie official further stated that II.
cense had been applied for at the gem :.
eral headquarters in Washington. and
had not been granted, as the insutu:
ton was not required 10 have a license.
The statement seemed to reflect upon
local institutions they were not doing
their bit in observing Mr.. HooVer's or.
dcrS. according to the speaker.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
Personals and Briefs.

Harry White Of Elm Grnv" IS confined
10 his homo. seriously i'll.
Joseph McTauSland "f Elm 'ir"r" -
confined 10 his homo. critically i'll.
L r. Kitchen. contractor is rushIm:;
work IN IN" new high school building.
near Wheeling park.
Miss Edna Carter nf Elm Grnr" has
Resumed her Studics ~ Bliss college
after 4 hr!cf stay here.
Newton Nichols uf RooCh Glon las
resumed his stud'0s y; "arn"Ei" Tech.
meal Iustt+ut" after 4 fiv' days vara-
ton.
Miss Clara v"rmiiion Of nvrrhr"ol>
is confined To h"r horne. slightly i'll.
Idttln Albert Scih"rt "f Sprinrd1lc q
able tn n" ahnu, a.:Hiu after Il serious
illness.
James Whit"r"ti"n "f Elaine. -. IS
VISITING relatives IN Tr'aH"lrhia for So
oral days.
John Fn'mar Of Edgw""d is MOVING,
hie household effects In Blaine. n.
Miss HcI"u 'i"nth"r Of Pittsburgh has
returned h"mf" after sp"rItnr several
DAYS with Elm Grow" relatives.
Gc"rG" MrC1"lland "f r"t"r'S Run g
spending several days with r"lr.iN' :
nj M"undsv!l".
Faris nolnnd nf TriA1clrhiH is con-
ffncd =" his horne. slightly iT"iSp"S"d.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
Personals and Briefs.

NJ. and Mrs. John Wilkinson OF
Nrw York. y. y. who have been
GHOSTS 4; The hnmr u: relatives in Cen
,rnr Warwood have returned to their
home.
Miss Marie Jackson Of New Mar
tinsvillc is the guest III friends IN
South WarwoOd for the weekend.
Mrs. s. +. Smythc OF Richland ave
nue.. who has been visiting friends
and relatives in Pittsburgh. has re-
turned 10 her homo,
T. r t. Onunncll Of South ONO
avenue is spending some time III nus
hurch on business
Harry Becker Of South Wheeling
wa, in South Warwond yesterday on
business.
Mr.. Springer Of the Warwood
garage has returned In Center war
wood after business trip 20 various
points in Ohio.
G.. {. Meyers OF South Ohio Avenue
has returned 10 his homo after a BRIEF
visit 10 Columbus on business.
+. !. Brnfeld ri North "Arwood
i the. guest AZ the home Of relatives
in Rrllairr.
Miss Mary Hughes Of Grafton. W.
Va, who has been visiting al IN"
home Of relatives in North Warwood.
left last night for Pittsburgh 10 be
The guest Of relatives.
Charles T. Thi"roff who is a m"m-
her Of tho "Baynnci" staff ut Camp
Lee. il spending Il scvCn-day fur.
Tough with his parents. Mr.. and Mrs.
Andrew Thereof Of North WarwnOd.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
BANKERS GROUP Of THIS DISTRICT
ELECT ". B. IRVINE CHAIRMAN
NAME ROBERT HAZLETT VICE
CHAIRMAN AND BAIRD M1TCA-
ELI. SECRETARY.
will Hold Meetings at Regular Per1oas
in Future - Several Logical
Speeches Delivered.

W. |! Irvine. vice president OF inc
National Bank If West Virginia. was
elected chairman. Robert HtLlrlt oil the
Dollar Savings and Trust company. vice
chairman. and Baird Mitchell OF Mich
irlI 6 Stevenson. secretary. AT Il meet
ing Of group No. 81 tn" West Firelhii'
tank, RS association held last night IN
lhr Fort Henry club.
The business session was preceded ny
=, dinner. Tic tahl" was beautifully
and ratriulically dcrnratcd.
This is III" iirSt session OF inc ErHHn
for some time. II was planned last
might Ia rut new lif" into the orEanlZa-
non and To hold meetings AT regular IN
lcrvulS in III" future. Group No. Ter
rilnry. embraces the city Of Wheeling.
IIauruck. Eronkr. Wctzcl. Tyler ana
Ohr" counties.
'rhr opening speech last evening was
made by e. burgess Taylor. who dis
.ussrd the work and aim Of the hatiohai
association ur owners of railroad sccu-
rites
rartain Charles MrCamir next gave
- very appropriat" talk. declaring mat
,hc people should not be ovcrc"hiidchl'
i.ut should be- fully prepared III every
way. that the food should b" conserved
.,ri n,nr, mon and munitions be made
r,.,jy. tn shin 10 France The TWO other
important speakers Of the evening were
Willi"u T.. ClrgG Held representative
,r tho war loan department OF federal
reserve banks of Cleveland. and judge
L. l.. Head al Indiana on banking lurS-
lion and wars effect upon financial IN
Stituli"nS.
N,nrly all of tho bankers representing
,I,.. ,,hnrr. named counties were present
lasr evening and il was announced lnaI
these meetings would be held at regular
intervals So ns 30 bring tho men To-
c.tl,cr more often tn discuss affairs per
,,inin... In the banking business IN gen
ora! and Other matters Of interest.
Among those present were:
H. j. Schcu!llcr. Alex. Mitchell. y. f.
Schmidt. J. H. Mcdonald. {. y. Bowers
n 4. uhrrmau. Henry GundlinE. y. -
List. capt. thas. McCamlc. I. i, ray
Inr. Robert lIa@lctt. +. j. f"N. W. Is
Irvine. Baird Mitchell. Or. J. H. plckrE'
t W. LETTERS. 7. 9. nri"horst. John J. =
Hell. all OF Wheeling; j. Nj. Sanders D..
Eloyd. &. \. Weaver, James y. SIga-
fur>., w. H. Alexander. Charles a.
Shnwnrrr. t. II. Hunter. ]. y. l'urlcy'
ali of MuunGsvillc; j. (. Palmer. J0hn
rolstou. pr. W. T.. Taylor. of Wells
I.lr... Vim. \. rlcgE. Cleveland: ". X
Erl,x. Sisi"rsvillc: {. II. Gilbert. war
w..id. l.. A. rye. Lil1l"ton; II. W. camp
L.u Fulton. i. Il. Clirk. N"w Martins
yillr. David IluIr". Foliansbcc: W. VI:
,'atr"II. E'nilansbCc; JudSc Il. l.. heau ol
Indiana.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
WILL RELIEVE
SICK HEADACHE
Mississippi Lady Recites her Fami'
ly's Experience in Prevention Qf.
Serious Sickness and Tells
How Quick Relief Follows
Use Of Black Draught. -

Edinburg, Miss.-Mrs. Lula Nc
LauChlin,. who lives few miles out
of this town. recently made the follow
Ing statement in regard 10 Thedford's
Black Draught. the old. reliable family
liver medicine:
We have used Thedford's Black
praught in our family for years, -las
a liver and stomach medicine. i have
used it for indigestion. gas on the stom-
ach, for bloating and disagreeable
taste in the mouth. o.
a couple of good doses will relieve
Il sick headache and make you feel
like Il new person. Z: =,
keep it. especially in the winter,
for grin and colds. 1t has been suSN
a wonderful help TO US.
Black-Draught has saved US man
good dollars in doctor bills. as a
great deaf of sickness comes. from
constitution and torpid liver, which
can be relieved by so simple a
remedy as Black.DraughL ! praise It
10 all my friends.
TORPID. or slow-acting. liver Is the
commoncSt form Of liver trouble met
with in America. The liver does not
do its duty in helping the digestion OF
food and regulating the bowels.
Thcdford's Rlack-Drausht has beAR
found Il very valuable remedy for de-
rangcmcniS Of the liver and stomach,
not only in the case Of this Mississippi
family, but in thousands Of simila1
cases.
Try Blac..-DrauGht. LID
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
AGREEMENT REACHED
WITH SPAIN MEANS
SUPPLIES FOR ARMY

WASHINGTON. u. G.. Feb. IT
ehabili,atlon OF the Spanish railroad
system is planned rs tine United States
10 make possible the shipment Of larG"
quantities OF supplies from Spain 10
General pSsSh!ng'S forces in France.
An offer OF American railway mate
rails has been made as q part OF the
negotiations The United States Is con-
Quoting 10 induce Spain 70 lift her en-
barge against the shipment Of goods
into France, placed. according 10 The
Spanish government. because OF III"
broken-d down condition vi her roads.
While 4 final agreement has nut been
signed. 4 conclusion OF the ncSutla'
lions, il was said to-day. is near. and
Spain has again been notified that all
spanish ships held in American ports
are free to sail as soon is Th"y dis.
charge the parts Of their carSceS Tor
which licenses have been denied or re-
voked. II was reiterated that there Is
no disposition 10 hold the Spanish
ships TO exert pressure on the uegotla-
lions. There are now IN American
ports some six Spanish steamers ana
half as many sailing ships.
The American government. il was
learned to-day. in It's latest proposal
20 Spain has asked for the use OF con
siderable Spanish tonnage on terms
similar 10 those on which il obtained
the ships owned by the northern Euro
pean neutralS. This tonnage would b.
paid for at 4 high rate. and for the
most part would b" used by the United
States in the non-hazardouS trades.
The War Trade Boards plan for re-
ducing imports calls for 4 consider
able cut in the importation Of Spanish
products AS the American govern
ment's own needs and thoS" OF its aSSo-
ciateS in the war will absorb most OF
the export commodities produced in
the United States. exports 70 Spain
also will be Lighted. This. in the view
OF officials, should release number OF
Spanish ships now plying between the
United States and Spain in which the
Spanish government could charter.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28

Within ten minutes after ar appil-
cation IF Dandc:inr YOU can not hnd
single trace Of dandruff OF falling hall
and your scalp will not itch. but what
will please you most will BE- after d
few weeks use. when YOU Sc" ne"
hair. fine and downy III hrSt--E"s-
but really new hair-2row!ng all Over
;hr scalp.
4 little pandcrinc Immediately
doubles the beauty OF YOUR hair. NO
difference how duh, faded. BRUTE ana
Scru&Ey. Just muiSicn Il cloth Win
pandrrilic AMI carefully draw II
through your hair. takiN" one small
strand AT time. The 'lf"r; is ama%'
ing-your hair will be light. fluffy and
wavy. and have an appearance OF
abundance: an Incompatible luSter,
sO!inCSS and luXurianCe.
Get small bottle OF knowlton'S
Dandcrinr lrT q few cents at any drug
store or toilet counter. ana prove that
your hair is n pretty and SOFT as any
that il has been neglected or IN
1urnd b. careless trra;mcnt--that'S
all-you surely can have beautiful
hair and lots nf i, if YOU will just Try
Il little Dandrriue.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
RHEUMATIC
KNOCKERS
NOW BOOSTERS
All Loud IN Praise of "Neutrone Pre-
scription 90"

They all >ay. III does beat Nh"
Dutch" how qulrh "N"ulronr PrescriP-
lion ~" 20; rid "l thar rheumatism.
IL almost MAGIC. "Nru'ron" Pre-
scriprinm 80 gets all forms OF Rh"u-
mariSm every time rs sur" ~ The sun
rises. Thu, first few d"s"S : how re-
suits. Those hurrih!" Rhrumai!" pains
stop. jho$" poor inllam"d JOINTS 20
down. AMI oh what blessed r"li"t'
Ever try anything Xix" that We'll.
It's Irur. There's no NOR" fiery. vile
smelling linimcntS; jus' good. clean
internal remedy That puriiics the blood
drives all Impurities out OF The system
--rnalies YOU feel like new. like doing
things. Don't delay. Get Il bottle To-
day and your troubles ar" over. a0c
and $1.00.
E. II. GrirsL & Co. Wheeling, W.
Va, and leading druggists everywhere.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1918-02-28
WALSH is NAM ED.

WASHINGTON. n. c.. Feb. 2T.---
Frank p. Walsh, of Kansas City. Mo.
formerly chairman OF the Federal In
dustrial Relations Commission. was TO-
day Sclected By labor assistants repre-
sentative in public interest on the
board framing national labor policy
for the government Employees have
already selected President Taft 10 rep
rnSen, the public interest for them.
IL is planned 10 hav" Mr.. Walsh and
Mr. Taft r., a. charmcn Of the JOINT
board. Alternating daily.
The next meeting OF III" board Will
b. here. "Wednesday.