The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1918-01-28
/ am a germ.

. ctui d. 6CllH
A scarlet fever germ.
A proud and naughty, red FLOODED
germ, member of the G. A. r.
Germs Of the American Revolution)
for | can trace my ancestors back to
Valley Forge and the Boston Tea
Party.
My family tree goes back to the
Mayflower. Millions of my kinfolS
landed with the Pilgrims at Plymouth
Rock in 1920 and it is said that some
of the more sturdy germs did not
wait for the ship to land, but swan
ashore and were huddled upon the
rock when the Pilgrims came. giving
them right royal welcome to this
new promised land Of high prices ana
foodless. heatless days.
But that's neither here nor there.
IT'S another story l would tell.
l am also an r. G. X. (First Germs
of Keokuk) for the roots of the fam
lily tree wiggle back to 1920 when
DIR. Muir brought ~kis lndsan wife
nsl :, sia,Sfied up a cabin U1E''<sse"4s y
er bank, planted half acre Of po'
tatoes aud put Keokuk on the map.
But that also is neither here nor
there. IT'S anothSk-SkDrS< would
tell
.c1 Unexplored Wiftesysee1>z, '~''
Mike Robe, an uncle Of mine, had
the proud distinction of nesting IN
the beard of the prophet. Brigham
Young, while on a trip to Keokuk III
search of more women, took uncle's
fancy and with a cry of joy uncle
leaped into the unmowed, uneXploreu
underbrush on Brigham's chin and
there lived out his life OF usefulness,
amidst ease and luxury.
Aunt Crimson's home was destroy
ed by workmen building the canal.
Cousin Redhead was a passenger on
the first train to cross the bridge.
My niece, Blooey Blood, was burned
to death in the cereal works fire and
Uncle Splotch got his start in lille
among the bohunks on the water
power construction.
But all Of this is neither here nor
there. It's merely family history,
germ geneology, dead leaves rustling
on the family tree in the pleasant
breeze Of recollection. IT'S another
story l would tell and tell it soon l
must for the suspense, dear reader.
surely is we'll night unbearable ere
now. CThe words nigh and ERE
inserted to make this sketch more
poetical)
So here's my story, the story Of
the great winter drive, tale of vic.
tory snatched from the jaws of de-
feat:
The Cold Draft.
At the annual meeting of the q.
o. P. Germs Order of Progress),
plans were laid for a big winter drive
in Keokuk, stirring speeches were
made, resolutions adopted and en-
thusiasm reached a fever heat (scar-
let fever heat. Strategy, plots, spy
program and food conservation were
discussed by fluent orators. Not a
Stacker was present. The cold draft
was endorsed.
Fumigation was condemned, sanl-
tation was ridiculed and the yellow
quarantine card was denounced as a
mere scrap of paper. A campaign OF
ruthlessness was outlined and our
war cry was up and at EN-" The
army was modified and sent against
the enemy. We determined to VIC
late the neutrality of dogs and cats.
disregard rabbits feet and count as
naught that old saying: An onion
day, keeps the doctor away 1t
was to be war to the bitterest end
of the bitter end.
And it came near being the bitter
end on the wrong end. Our first sur
prise attaci- carried us over the top,
beyond the ,irst line trenches and
well into the enemy territory. But
there we stopped We were up
against a stone wall OF medicine bot
ties, barrage fire of nux vomica. an
armada of tanks Of sal salonika,
eau de epson and just ordinary in
sect powder Careful precautions and
by the board of education
halted our progress and the battle
seemed lost.
Home Fires Smoking.
There was unrest behind our lines.
The home fires did not burn bright