davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Knew Teddy by His Teetb.

Col. Theodore Roosevelt has object
ed at oil times to being referred to as
a one-time president; but that only by
facial adornments is he known In some
sections may be even worse. 1t was
at a church, where he was on the PRO-
gram, that an elderly woman APP
preached the doorman and asked II
that there man" was going to speak.
what man7" asked the attendant. II
can't remember bis name" was the re-
ply, ''but it's the chimp always thought
would make a good advertisement for
a dentist. He's got wonderful teeth,
and always shows them" Yes" an
swered the dOorman, hes going to
speak"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
UNEARTHLY WAS THIS MUSIC
German Publication Reprimanded by
Press Agent for Mistranslation
: OF Adjective Heavenly"

The censorship of foreign language
publications by the post office depart
ment won't be at all offensive to one
Of the musical comedies which re-
Gently opened in New York And If
the censorship can extend to the
point of gathering altogether a certain
German periodical, then the press
agent will be even stronger for the
government. :.
His animosity dates back to the
hand-painted~ account >of the opening
Of his play, which he wrote and sent
out some twelve hours before the cur
tain was raised on the premiere. How
ever, his description of the charms Of
the chorus, the plot, the scenery and
the personnel of the audience didn't
suffer on account of anything like that
On the question of the beauty of the
music he was especially grandiloquent,
and when he called up the German edl-
torial offices the next morning he felt
that his, grievance was just. But there
they told him he had used a part of
his own copy, without changing a
single word, merely translating it into
German, s'-s
"Oh, you did," raved the young press
agent and his voice instlnctively told
that he was tearing his hair. FL wrote
that the music was heavenly-and your
blamed translation made it say that
the music was unearthlyP"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Whale Meat Is Used.

"Whale meat q la Creole" is the
new Offering on San Francisco hotel
menu. The portions are large and
juicy, delightfully."- seasoned, and cost
IS cents each. The new food has come
to stay, according to the hotel experts.
It is a wartime food resource Of the
United States that has been over
looked. Many tried it and pronounced
1t good. The whale meat is supplied
by sea products company. which has
bought property at Moss Landing and
viii establish a packing house there.
The meat resembles beef In appear
ance, texture and flavor. There is no
fishy taste aboutslt - .
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
BwANA REscUEs MERlEM AND TAKES HER HOME TO HIS
Ia. WIFE, WHO ADOPTS THE GIRL-SHE LONGS
FOR K0RAK

synopsA scientific expedition off the African coast recues
human dect brings aboard intelligent
and friendly Jack of Lord Geystok the
oinn Tarzon has inherited wild life and steals from home
to see the ape card In music hail. The ape makes
with him and Jack despite his trainer
appears oyy recognized by the for Tarzan had
been king of his to buy Akut the ape ana sen
r ho m Africa Jack friends Pauch
s k when he attempts thief tries to kill jack but Is
I ,enes nm Arabian girl forest He is
wounded stolen The bad Swedes BUY her from hoVuooo
tbe hock Mabhn kills fighting for the girl
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

ings. At the. sight she drew back in
establishment.
"Where are WEI" she asked, point
ing. :...
1--WE could not find Korak," replied
the man, "andsas our way led near my
douar have brought you here to wait
and rest with my wife until my men
can find your ape or he finds you. 1t
is better thus. little one. You will be
safer with us and you will be happier"
Meriem laughed. '"The jungle" she
said, sis my father and my mother. !
do not fear the jungle. / love it. I
should rather. die than leave it forever.
But your douar is, close beside the
jungle. You have been good to me. l
will do as you wish and remain here
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
RECIPE FOR GRAY. HAIR.

To half pint Of water add D. OF. Bay
Rum small box Of Barbo Compound,
and Il OF. of glycerine. Any druggist can
put this up or you can mix it at home at
very little cost. Full directions for max.
ing and use come in each box Of Barbo
Compound. 1t will gradually darken
streaked, faded gray hair, and make it soft
and glossy. 1t will not color the scalp, is not
sticky or greasy, and does not rub off. Adv.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
'ForrPinlpfy, 4 Faces: I; i, ID.

To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointenent.
Wash off in five minutes with CuH
Soap and hot water. For free saI8ples.
address "Cuticurq, Dept x, Boston"
At druggists and by mail. Soap 70.
Ointment 25 and<5O.-Adv.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Freshwater EeIa

Freshwater cells are said to be very
clean feeders; they are sometimes seen
cropping the leaves VI watercress and
other aquatic plants as they float about
In the water; but they are immense
devourers Of spawn - 81 HsdS -
naA
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
"A Yearn for Beauty.

''NEhy did you pick out such hand
some shaving mugT
swell, I've never been satisfied with
my own mug. / thought I'd indulge my
fancy little In this"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
ouuht TO Have.

"He hasn't the ghost Of chance
with that girl"
81 don't see why not, when he is q
lad of spirit"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Well Named.

Private A-Wot kind OF cigarette
have you got? 7
Private b. thanding: him one)-Flor
de Persfling.
Private Al. (takes a few, puffs and
throws it away, remarking)-They
would floor better men than Pershing.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Feeble

Mr.. Trumble-The. elevator isn't
running as fast as usual this morn
ing.
Elevator Boy-NO sir; / don't feel
very strong today.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

Little by little she became more
trusting. At first she had had but her
intuition to guide her belief that this
big Tarmangani meant her no harm,
but as the days passed and she saw
that his kindness and consideration
never faltered she came to compare
him with her Korak and to be very
fond of him, but never did her loyalty
to her ape man flag.
On the fifth day they came suddenly
upon a great plain, and from the edge
of the forest the girl saw in the dis
lance fenced fields and many build
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu-
late liver, bowels and stomach.-AdV.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

appeared and your Vegetable Compound
IA made me we'll, strong woman 80
I do ali my own homework. ! cannot
recommend lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
fabla Compound too highly to women
Passing through the Change Of Life:
Mrs Mrs FRANK HENSON, 1916 s. orchade
ST., UYbana, i'll.
Women who suffer from nervousness
cheat fiashes,' backache, headaches
and sthe blues should try this famous
root and herb remedy, Lydia =. F'nk'
han's Vegetable Compound.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

Only One "BROMO QUINlNEn
To get the genuine, call for full name LAxATTHH
BR0MO QUININH. Look for signature OF y. W.
GROVE. Cures Cold in One Day. SOc.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Consistent carb.

GLOW was the runaway convict
dressedf" "In a cutaway coat and
SLOUGH hat"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

Atlanta has increased salaries Cd
1.444 city employees.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

Many a man negiects his family In
order to pose as a public benefactor.
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
The Sort Of Man.

'sMamie's admirer is a manufactures
Of umbrellas"
81 see; sort of rain beau"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
Furniture.

I'D like to visit the weather bu-
reau." e.
'"That isn't weather bureau. It's
an ice chest"
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08

had an !, &IJack OF
grippe which lasted
all winter and left
me in q weakened
condition. felt at
times that I would
neverbewell again.
/ read Of Lydia e.
Pinkham's v e &c.
Compound
and what it did for
women passi in 6
through the Change
of Life, sol told my
doctor I would try
It. Isoon began 70
gain in siren 9Th
and the annoying
- - 4 n ~ n ri 90
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
WOMEN OF
MIDDLE AGE
Need Helm to Pass the Crisis Safe.
ly-Proof that Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound
Can be Relied Upon.

], TJrbans, I'll. III During Change Of Life
IA addition to It's annoying symptoms, u
The Morgan County press. (Wartburg, Tenn.) 1916-1926, 1918-02-08
I,,nortan. fn Mofhera

Important 70 M0tn0Ia
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, that famous old remedy
for Infants and children, and see that 1t
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
COP. CHAIRMAN IS DIsPLEAsED.

The lately arrived chairman Of the
Kepuhlican national committee is dis
pleased with President Wilson. The
nresident had the bad grace TO refer
III the fact that Republican leaders in
congress. with few notable exceptions.
have sought 10 hamper him IN every
way they could tn the exercise Of his
Necessary authority in the conduct of
the war Wherefore. MIR Hays is fll-
"a with wrath and an ehervescenes
or patriotism In lengthy address
10 Republicans he begs them to rally
10 the banner Of the @, o, r. in or
der to eject q Republican congress
which viii compel the president 10
make the kind Of peace he might
make make without that compulsion.
All OF which VIII start an inter
esting display ri forensic fireworks
during the anal week Of the cam
palgn. 1t serves to bring sharply 10
the attention of nation busy with
the war the fact that the occasional
fnlrnina tons Of our noisiest ex- presi-
cent and the jndiciaily balanced
sreers Of our weightiest ex president
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28

The tnporizLnce -o1- ~il&s--se- ~ hep
election in It's relation 10 national pro-
hibition long ago was recognized by
tk1e Anti saloon league leaders, and
r:stiu,.s @efe made aeevraihgis.
In advance OF the balloting, itappears
probahla- that legislatures favorable
IL ratification viii be elected in a
rufl4cien, number Of states to make
certain the final adoption Of the dry
Amendment to the federal eonstitu-
tion before next summer.
Even SO, the liquor interests are
nutting up the best fight OF which
they are capable But they are hardi-
capped this year in n most embarrass-
tnx manner The revelations Of the
strockedness Of the German American
Alliance and the close connection Of
that aisloy&l kaiser-loving body with
Inc hIg liquor interests Of the coun-
sfry have created an adverse sentiment
which cannot he overcome.
Colonel l.. r. Musgrove, 81 Birn-
inkhan,. Ala. who is directly in charge
o6 the campaign fer ratification, af-
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
MAN ABOUT TOWN.
(By III. IT,

Met a fellow yesterday who had just
recovered from the influenza Asked
him to describe It. and let us know how
he caught It. and what he did to get
rid Of it so we could tell everybody
about 1t and he said thusly. like Alfred
Jingle might have said:
Used to be movie nend. no place to
went to park, sit on bench. watched
squirrels, got sad; went to depot to
watch trains come in. no place else to
go: people had long faces, everything
sad, no smiles; soda fountain closed. no
place to cool thirst, ambulance rushing
around with bells on, sad thing; felt
bad. nobody to talk to. crowds all gone:
started to church, no good. closed; got
headache. felt sad, hall room musty;
tried to get limeade, no good. sign up
this place closed. order board Of health;
gloomy outlook. couldn't sleep; big
headlines In paper. keep away from
crowds. couldn't fnd crowd; sadness
increased. gloomy thoughts: friend said
looked bad; tried to find cheerful place,
no good, none to And; soldiers all gone,
very sad. went to bed, no use getting
up, no place to go: had doctor. said had
flu. very sad stayed In bed two days,
out now. liable to get back; no place
to go. everything sad. feel bad again"
We tried to cheer him up. but there
wasn't the slightest chance for that.
he had caught the gloomy outlook
from the headlines In the papers. and
nothing could cheer him. and We ex-
pect to haar from him later In the
obituary column. s5A
NJ kasv ~ fAvofits acwsr. Aou~
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
Columbus and Wilson.

II was the vision OF Columbus to
the globe. What thai
VISION meant in his day cannot be com
pretended now. Men in general. the
church and most scientists could not
peiieve the theory that the earth was
round He was hereto. a luna
tic, in the popular mind, and perhans
the indominatable persistence OF the
great navigator was best shown by the
determination with which he com
batted the powerful influences and
persuaded her majesty Isabella of Cas-
utle 10 furnish funds for his VOYAGE
or exploration. He opened the way
Tor all mankind to become one COM
munlty 1t has required four and a
quarter centuries for mankind to rise
TO full realization of that opportu-
NIFTY, but 1t is rising rapidly to il now
Principles OF human right and liberty.
porn and tested and strengthened in
the land to which Columbus led the
way, are today acknowledging the
globe as swiftly and surely as the
great ,admiraa,s vision swept AROUND
It. Ne''N
In these trying times, when all
worth while that mankind has wrought
IN the world Is In the balance the
VISION and the perseverance Of Column
bus offer inspiration and example. 1t
IS well for us all to remember and
Keep fresh in mind all through this
world war. how the sailors, after the
long voyage into an apparently
boundless ocean mutinied; how CO.
lumbus pleaded for just three DAYS
more OF advance, promising at the
expiration of that time to put about
and return to Span; how his spirit
was cheered by the sight OF a drift
ing branch with leaves upon it, evil
IDENTITY fresh from some neighboring
land; how a bird came across the wa
tiers while still no land appeared and
perched In the rigging: and finally.
how at night came from the caravel
Pinta the welcome hail Of Land Ho!"
and a waving light across the wa
t ! s,ts showed how the presence Of human
Today In the new circumnavigation
of the earth, from west to east, a
leader with still clearer, broader Wis
ion and even more purposeful and
indomitable, is in command.
The minds OF men are today cloud
ed by Ignorance and self-interest as
OF old. The way to universal freedom
of the nations, great and small, is all
uncharted. Storms rage, the compass
sometimes falters, and towards would
mutiny.
But the vision OF our leader we
believe to be divine. and every true
American will stand steadfastly by
him to the triumphant end.--Charles
Grant Miller. in The Christian Her
aid.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28

TO put us in a dominant position in
the worlds markets, regardless of the
comfy between nations upon which
alone lasting peace and league
of nations can be built, the Republi-
can party continues to worship the
protectionist golden calf. symbo, of
81 Dollar Mark Hanna
And that also leads to a further
reference to Hays outburst against
Colonel Il, NJ House, the presidents
sole, unelected. unappointed. uncon-
frmed personal adviser" Against
him, Mr.. Hays can bring no other
charge. Mark Hanna. in the Nc
Kinley regime. brazenly represented
the money power and brazenIy die
tatcd to Mckinley those policies which
he aud his associates required. The
Roosevelt kitchen cabinet was more
mixed assemblage, representing all
sorts Of climbers and schemers who
busted themselves with being agree
able in the Rooseveltian presence.
These things were all as they should
tie. according TO the Hays standard.
because they were done under the
blessed spell OF the G.. O. p
But under a Democratic admins
tration. il Is horrible thing that the
president should have as his personal
adviser Il man who represents no "in-
terest. $ who is not a climber who
has no axes to grind, who is simply
straightforward. clean-cut, que,
and highly efficient patriot, lending
himself 10 the unpaid service of his
country.
Consistency la vrtue which never
boihers the c. o. r.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28

bership In the literary socista>s = -.
untary, but practically all OF the stu-
dents In the institution are members
OF tho literary societies.
The department of rural education
VIII devote much attention to the Or.
ganization and proper conduct Of iunior
high schools during the present sAs.
sion. A large number OF tho high
schools In the smaller villages and
rural sections Of the state win be con.
Quoted as junior high schools for many
years The Normal school at Radford
is devoting much thought and atten-
ton to the training Of group of teach-s
ers for the junior higf, schools.
Much interest is being manifested m
the standard four-year courses leading
to the bachelors degree which are be.
ING onered in the Normal school At
Radford. "A considerable range 81 elec.
tives Is offered in these tour-year
courses. Nj
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
ever. and we will do all We can to
keep his memory and his grave green.

Macmillan has the fiu.
Here's pretty how do;
II he'd pass 1t up to Bill
Let that fellow have the chill.
Then we'd probably nave peace
And gloomy bulletins might cease
This beautiful pome was sent us by
the favorite port laureate Of Church
Hill. the eminent Larry Martin. whose
Efforts with the administrative board
resulted In curb and cutters for Thir-
ty-sixth street.
The sentiment Is good, and might be
applicable to some others besides Bill
With the heads of all the departments
absent from overwork and other
things, the substitutes are certainly
playing the mischief with the general
run OF things. :,
We are glad Thanksgiving day is
coming for there are some things we
are keen to give thanks for:A
We want to thank Administrator
Archie Cary for his efforts in behalf
of the country In making the feed
places give us q lot OF things we don't
hardly want, and In not reducing the
price when the quality Of the article
Is reduced.
We want to thank Administrator
Blair for permitting the fuel men to
slap good price for wood on VI. when
tho administration advises Us not to
use much coal.
We want 70 thank the board of
health Tor taking Al the chAerfulnAae
sSt q eoR yean9 ~ t ~
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
THE NATURE OF AN ARMfSTfcE.
BY Major FRANCIS vINToN GREENE.

ers agreed upon the fundamental terms
CT peace. and after that had been done
then the army commanders arranged
the suspension of hostilities by means
OF an armistice.
A moments consideration will show
that no other course is feasible or Dos
sible now. The allied rulers cannot, il
they would. shirk their respons ibility
and throw 1t upon Marshal Foch. They
must decide the issues for which men
nave been giving their lives for more
than four years. and until these are de-
clded the lighting must go on No
armistice that Foch could make-save
the laying down Of German arms
could rail- to be of enormous benefat to
our enemies and corresponding detri-
nent TO ourselves and our allies. For
curing the armistfce Germany would
repienlsh her stores Of ammunition, No
guaraptees that Germany could give.
not even the occupation OF her Rhine
lortreSseS, would compensate for the
restoration of equality in the matter OF
ammunition and projectiles.
In each of her successive replies she
strives TO create the impression that
she has complied with the terms laid
down by her enemies, and she asks that
pienipotenttaries be appointed to ar
range the details and that an armistice
of their Iabors.
But the situation now la not what II
was IN the wars terminating in 1871.
1878 and 1898. There has been no
agreement as to the Fundamentals OF
peace. That must be made by the chiefs
OF me state. 1t Is beyond the power
Oh the army commander and the re-
sponsibiiity. cannot be thrust upon him.
his business Is to win the victory and
ne Is IN process of accomplishing IL.
out until he has finally achieved this
any armlstiee, no matter how guaran-
teed~ VIII weaken his position rather
than strengthen 1t. The natural Sc
auence Is hrst victory. second an
agreement as to the fundamentals of
peace, third an armistice and fourth
and last detinitive treaty. Any dis
arrangement of this time honored pro-
cess VIII only defeat its purpose and
result IN greater loss of life.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28

ter completing an extensive tour OF
the country gives this report OF the
outlook
Besides the fourteen states that
have Hafiaed pineteen states; vnow
dry, eoncededly will ratify. This
makes thirty three The situation in
the remaining states insures victory.
Florida, Wyoming. Nevada and Yer
mont have nominated ratification leg
islators that cannot be defeated II
the election In Novemb Der results as
may rightfully he expected. ratifica-
ton legislators will be elected In Min
nesota. Ohio, Illinois, Missouri. Cali
fornia. Pennsylvania. New York, New
Jersey and Wisconsin There Is a
good fighting chance in the other two,
Connecticut ard Rhode Island.
Ratification will be' com pieted by
March. 1919, This must he follow
ed by legislation in congress and in
the states TO make It effective A mill
liant public opinion must be main
tanned 10 insure the full fruits Of law
enforcement"
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
GERMAN MADE TOYS AWAKEN OPPOSITION.

Things began to happen right soon
aSter the arrival OF several hundred
4cns of German made toys In New
York the other day. Women, espe-
S01aIly mothers OF children at an age
10 be Interested In Toys, were indg-
AAnt that there should be an attempt
- promote the sale of goods from
- enenys country while we are in
NJ midst OF war Very soon their
\ nnixa tons demanded the attention
S1k the ccnsignees Of the unweleome
1850.
The goods arrived via Holland The
euee. insisted they would have MOTH
- - do with the toys. The order
- them had been placed In 1914
e10r to the war;. IL was asserted
some manner, the shipment APP
nFo6 to have been lost. Now thst
tpys had appeared. four years be-
schedule, the firm declined to
- them or assume any respon-
NY for them. Members of the
wWre disposed 10 believe that the
"a been allowed ny the German
nent 10 come forward at the
enaar time for the double pur-
IN saving trade and. Incidental
e1Ein~ MP the diplomatic bid for
~ women were oven more
- -, - their own
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-10-28
RADFoRD NORMAL NOTES

Especial to The Richmond virginian.)
East Radford. Va. Oct. 27.--The lit
erary societies have formed large plans
for the session. Each Of the societiez
have spacious. well-furnished halls.
Much attention will be given to par
liamentary drilIs and parliamentary
usage this session. This work 10 under
the direction Of Miss Elizabeth Allen.
teacher Of expression and public speak
ing. Tho work Of tho literary societies
u an integral part Of the work of the
Institution r. IL tFainins ~ yoane
womsn f6r - ekehlp m scoaa rnnntty ~
ganisakl0n elal M slkalls y n Aailllr.