The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-12-12
S U N B E AM S.
+++. 49,

~ they asked. for. |
used to play practical jokes and if
necessary 4 could tell lie (although
I didn't like to do SOY. Anyway
folks felt that / was careless with
the trl:k and often guyed me about
it. Usually got back at 'em as the
following truthful story will, show
We lived in the country and one day
! was out on boss back Eyes. ridino
l decided to have some fun with a
doubling Thomas, SO l whipped Up
and vas goin' past his place on the
run. lie was busy in the field. Hc
yelled at me and said, .'Hey. Jim,
stop and tell me lie Can't do it,
says l, your father has just been
kicked by horse and am goin' for
the doctor. Don't think he can live. y
| rode on. Later I found that he
took his family and fastened to his
fathers home, but instead of findin'
his father dead, he found him out
plowin' corn. Next time | met hin,
he SAID, why did you lie to me the
other day. and. just said to him
you asked me for lie didn't you?'
Yes says he but" 90, well, :"
says |. you got what you asked for,
what's eatin yuh?' (P. S. Always
give folks what they ask for.l
A few days ago l was goin' along
whistlin' Gas usuaD when friend
said to ME "Feelin' sunny this morn
ing, ch Jim? Why so hilarious"
"Just discovered I'm ten dollars TO
the good" | replied. slows that"
said he. co. says /, Just refused to
loan it to a friend of friend Of
mine"
No, we didn't eat turkey at oar
bungaloo Thanksgiving. No, in
deedy-why at the price of turkeys,
can't even afford to whistle my
favorite tune OF Turkey iii tie
straw.
Keep your eye OH McAdoo in 1920.
There's a bird who needs watch'n.
don't believe in flynn in the face
-providence,- -in-tenaptit-ia
too lar and I'm tcllin' you that whtn
feel the ground gettin hot under
my feet and | see the smoke cGnrIn
through (as chap over in Hudson
did recently I'm 4oin to start gHin
away from there and I'll be goin' so
fast that it will tlSc a telesc',nc -
feet long to keep me III sight for l-2
a minute.
Some one asked re why the papers
spoke so often lately If the lett side
OF the Rhine Said he (which :, 'hc
left side?" why, says |, 'tl:"'s
the side >hich the Huns recently
left Then he asked me VIII II IS
the left side OF a ruinee pie and .nst
says to h:.1 "t.iry amt any such
thing at orr house we eat both
sides
| guess when X. Bill is halel in'o
court and a, ed who caused the
.wah' he will say, Il don't know a
thing about 1t. Judge, | wasn't there.
Won't that he some abb: II ssy
Many Reasons Why You Should
Shop Early--lIeatJinc. Well, | have
a few pretty well defined reasons
Why | don't think III be able to do
any shoppin but you folks poss!b.,
have trouble oiyol:r own, SO Ill las'
suffer i'll silence.
Do you know tia, imagination is
a big factor III orr lives either ior
good or i'll. Wei, it is. You know
how | have harped bout Hooverlz~
ing and told you how thin | was get
i'm? All Inauguration, yes sir. Why
actually Imagined myself dryin up
and was AFRAID t. % out on "i'ldv |
law for fear il! bl W away. Pu.e
,nadulterate,. imagination, as ] "'i!
show you. T'other day ] was jlst
iraggin myself around town and
feelin' that ! only had few more
laws left when | chanced to pass a
place where there was weighni ma
chine. You drop a penny i'll the slot
step on the scales and a fellow m
side the machine speaks your weight
So ! tried it. Anything over Is"
shuts off the wind OF t'lc chap |
who speaks your weight and he ;"st
sort of gurgles. Well, w';eh
stepped on he gurgled.
Kansas City is pullin off s'ihe |
queer stunts, also. maxim history fcr
he forty year items. uhm, YUM
Last week I told of how the i'ol,ce |
iorce had taken on an alleged mule
.hief'' and since then l notice one OF
The COPS has been sent to state pris-
IN for 20 years for highway robbery.
don't quite understand such pro-
it intended to place a
premium on mule stealin' or act SIS a
deterrent on foot paddin'-which.
4 throng of youth and beauty glide
Amid the festive scene. =,
The dancers close and side by side
Upon each other lean. !
But one fair girl, the queen of all
Has on her brow frown.
She feels her pride will have fali-
Her back hairs comm down. |
One day was in meat market
lust lookin' at the meat) / noticed
! lot of brains Con the counter) and
nan came in and bought 3 pounds:
Knowing the price marveled at his
He answered me very II
urtly BY saying that every part
trengthens part. "O," says l, beg
n