The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1918-02-21
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s U NIB E AM 8.

~ l was very pleases
|N@ to hear from ii,
@ old friend, VIM
~ Badgley, Of Cali
1D fornia last week
through The Times
Bill says he likes Sunbeams, but 4,
the same time said Don't tell him
said so" Why such modesty, Billf
am we'll past the age of swell head,
and never was what you could by the
widest, stretch of Imagination call
conceited. l have always been
mighty quick to commend the good
qualities of everybody and a trifle
more sudden to condemn their bad
ones. Ny policy has been and still is
to scatter the flowers along the path
way of the living rather than to wait
for the funeral to bestow the wreath.
do not deserve nor do take unto
myself great credit for Sunbeams. Il
was born this way and can't help it,
But at that l take some small pleas
ure in knowing that Sunbeams meet
the approval and are read by good
many people. just how long will
continue to give you Sunbeams I am
unable to say. Since Hoover got af-
ter me | have lost quite bit in
weight and am still "shrinkin." l am
down to my last stub of pencil and
don't see how | can get another. So
if you don't want to lose Sunbeams
| suspect some of you would better
contribute pencil. | always have
felt that it is. more blessed to receive
than to give-(gosh, | believe | got
that quotation wrong end toy how
about it?
i Lines to be Remembered: For is
not truth the master always, and does
she not have the power and hold the
book?-Thackery.
The only comment I will attempt
on the above will be in the nature OF
an admonition to you folks who are
careless OF the truth (if there be any
such amongst you). The old adagc
truth is mighty and will prevail" is
correct. Then, too, liar should have
a good memory. How about me:
Well, now that's different. | have
a license.
| notice that Billy Sunday has been
prayin' for Teddy. l wonder who IS
interceedin' for the Kaiser. Seems
to me it should be fifty-fifty.
The Germans admit that they won't
get all they want in this war, but
that they will take what they want in
the next war. | just want to remark
here that before this war is finished
Germany is goin to get all she
wants and-a little bit more.
Have | ever met an honest lawyer:
Well, don't know. You see have
not met all of EN- yet. Possibly
there are none, for if there were, a
good many people who are polluting
the air of freedom would be on the
inside lookin' out.
That recalls this story: An Irish
man .(and | take off MY hat to the
Irish) was strolling through CENT
etery. He came to where beautiful
monument stood On the marble or
granite q forgot which, was this in
scription, Here lies the body of
lawyer and an honest man." The
Trishman scratche dhis head and said,
Now phwat in the divil did they
bury EN- both in the same grave
for?"
Enee, meene, minee, mo
Chuck the Boches down below.
Put EN- in the middle kettle,
|. Cook 'em slow; cook EN- slow.
understand that in the early days
of our country the log churches were
very cold places of worship. There
being no stoves to heat them, the
people carried hot bricks or stones
to keep their feet warm. The preach
er furnished the balance of the heat
by telling of the temperature of an
other place where birthstone is the
fuel used. Now; in our modern
churches we have to depend (mostly)
on furnace heat Your modern
preacher don't say enough about the
other place to generate sufficient
heat to melt ice in the month OF
August.
| was talkin' once to person who
is Tor was) an extreme evolutionist.
Yes, sir, he was strong for evolution.
So much that he was very particular
about his eatin'. He wouldn't eat
pork at ALL | asked him why He
said some of his departed relatives
may have Gin the course Of evolution)
returned to earth in the form of a
hog. "Well," says l, "by golly, l
don't know as l blame you much"
knew some of the departed and they
shore displayed many characteristics
of swine before they left here. No,
sir, l didn't blame him.
The question of whether the toma-
to is a fruit or vegetable has been
settled l notice and the tommyto is a
fruit. l don't suppose this decision