davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
The Chatting Dish

A New York paper remarks that Il
will be perfectly easy to get our clocks and
watches to obey the daylight-saving rules,
but asks, what are we going to do about the
sun dials?" They will keep on telling the
truth all summer. Well have to compose .
lot of new sun dial notices. We suggest II
mark only the wheatless hours" 4'Asfi
If DR.. Scott Nearing will only show up In
Ardmore the citizens of the suburb will
change the name to Tarredmore.
The Huns have taken Ham. and the Kaiser
is egging them on.
That style show is to be held In Atlantic
City because that resort is near Philadel.
phia. But why not hold It here because
Philadelphia Is near Atlantic City? The
proper way to boom this city Is to bring
people here instead of taking them away.
The Kaiser Is the pressagentissimo OF the
German forces. Whenever he goes near
enough to the front to get within hearing
distance of the back he takes with him
little pad of printed forms. which (our special
correspondent assures us) read like this;
At the front. ..........1s..
By the grace OF God our noble troops hose
sprung SaossoardS sorls%rn and executed meo"ss-
cent 5crushing uictory Push .trsok.
0e"' (strdtegic retreat A'''"' - .,.,-.
loads of Iron Crosses. Our men are movs"s
1orsSSrn saessnara to mew positions Of greater =
vanta0e. with love, WILhnA-' K
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
Memo to a Press Agent

A.certain play which had Its premiere In
Philadelphia recently was bedizened bv ,ts
press agent with the customary acclaim'
II. the heart aud bull's-eye of the biurb.
however. It seemed to us that the Ingenious
chrysostom missed his customary steady foot-
Ing For this Is bis collocation Of winged
words offended to lure us In thousands TO
the fautevils: 1T touches only slightly on
the present war situation. but in a neutral
way" f
TN a neutral way" II you please. for
sooth and pardie. And we fear that II that
Is the case the attraction will be patronized
by the public In the same half-hearted man
ner. Jsi s-'f--
The press agent seems to feel, subcon-
sciously, that this neutrality Of sentiment
constitutes rather a shadowy and hooverish
appeal to the playgoing appetite. For he
hurries over that phase of the matter ana
speeds up his yocables to lay some yerv
CHEEKY laurels on the candid brow Of ths
baby vampire" who IL the leading lady Of
the piece. But not even our natural curios,tv v
to observe, witness and behold this vampire
cub can outweigh our distaste for NAV
that touches on the war "in neutral way"
The theatre u the most intensive form Of
-reoreation and inspiration known 70 man. II
can DO much TO hearten and hasten our var
winning win. But not by tonahiss % a.
M s, ss;'ss IS 2, I ssssA NJ I
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
YOU MUST FINANCE YOUR OWN
WAR

THERE could be no better preparation
~ for the third Liberty Loan campaign,
beginning q week from Saturday, than the
German drive now in progress If the
Kaiser had planned to arouse America to
devised better way
It must be evident now to the most
skeptical that the Germans cannot be
whipped without the expenditure of vast
sums. In the next ten days the people
must do lot of hard thinking on money
matters. The Government is asking for
three billion dollars, not as a gift, but as
q loan. 1t will pay Az per cent interest,
or more than the savings banks pay The
people are called upon to make an invest.
yhent in liberty. The money returns will
be good, but the returns in freedom and
peace will be hundredfold greater.
That is what the world is fighting for
Just now-peace anS freedom. If the people
were aroused as they should be the loan
would be oversubscribed within less than a
week. Every gun captured and every pris-
oner taken by the Germans in the present
drive should serve to increase the readiness
Of the ,eople to respond to the demands OF
their Government.
1t is our war, and we must see it through
That is, 1t is the war of the man who reads
this and the war of his neighbor on bott
sides of him and across the street. 1t can.
not succeed until he is convinced Of thi.
fact and girds up his financial loins ant
enters the fray with grim determination
and resolute purpose to see it through t.
the bitter end.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

IT should have asked you before. Have you
any German blood in your"
I was about to say no, but at that instant
an extraordinary thing happened. The organ
began to groan. There was weird moaning
sound In the pipes and then with a majestic
growl 1t began to utter die Wacht am
Rhein." / listened with mingled amazement
and fear.
you see?" he said. 1.-THE gas, confined
In this chamber by the sausage walls. Is
forced to wreak itself upon the only possible
MODE or expression, which Is the organ. 1t
is fortunate that you are pure American In
blood. 1 brought a German up here once
without knowing it. AS soon as the gas was
liberated he died miserably of curdophobia.
1t was very tragic"
sOTNHE idea was first suggested to me by
l. the old German pun about Kaiser and
kaese.' he said. "Kaese is the German word
for cheese. and Kaiser is perversion of that
word, meaning the Big Cheese. This sug-
gested to me that German kutur is pecu-
narly susceptible to cheese. You have often
seen In any cafe how German is peculiarly
exhilarated and exalted by the presence of
good stout Whit of cheese. Now II this whiff
can be magnified and pungentifed a billion
times 1t produces in a German the supreme
exaltation of all. which Is death. He is
simply disintegrated and shattered by his in
tense JOY. I have devised this odorometer
for testing the power Of the gas"
He pointed to a dial standing on a table
Il have obtained an intensity of $4,000
hohenzollerns in my gas" he explained ''The
hohenzollern is the unit have invented to
measure the power of the gas. One hohen-
zollern is the amount of cheese odor neces-
sary to destroy Prussian at the distance
Of fifty miles,"
NTF THE Germans ever hear of this in
i vention they will stop fighting at once" :"
I cried.
"Of course they will. But the War De-
partment says 1t would be unsportsmanlike
to take advantage of their peculiar weakness
in this way"
The inventor wanted to take me out to his
laboratory to show me the howitzer in actual
operation. He said he had had a model OF
the city of Milwaukee built at a distance of
mile from the laboratory. and by shooting
subcalber cheese pellets at It from a minia
ture howitZer he could show me the exact
effect of the limburger shell. But I was
getting nervous My Nwlfe's second cousin
had married into a German-American fam
lily and did not know what retroactive effect
this relationship might have on the gas. j
did not think that. with this monstrous
secret in my possession. ought to take any
chances.
The inventor offered to take me out TO his
farm. where he has a herd of 500 Holsteins
busy yielding the milR from which the cheese
shells are manufactured. 1t looks to me nov
as though the war would be ended not by
man-power. but by cow-powex
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
THE TAGEBLATT BUNGLE

MOT often has a prosecuting official re.
- ceived such severe rebuke from the
bench as that administered by Judge Dick
inson to United States Attorney Kane In
ordering verdict Of not guilty against
the Tageblatt editors.
Indirect though It was, the Federal
Judges reprimand clearly and unequivo'
cally fixed responsibility upon the District
Attorney and his staff for the masterful
bungling Of tie case from the very in
ception.
Failure to earmark important documents
seized at the time Of the raid on the Tage-
blatt offices, failure to insure the attend
ance of the one chief witness depended
upon to connect the two indicted editors
with the publication Of seditious articles
failure to establish even colorably in law
the essence Of the charge Of treason
brought against the defendants-that OF
giving aid and comfort to the enemy
these were the conspicuous omissions of
a trial whose gravity involved issues Of
broader effect and Importance to the public
at this time than the lives Of the defend
ants serious as any capital trial always is.
And the worst of these failures is that they
involved merely such rudimentary steps
of ordinary prudence and caution as ought
TO suggest themselves to any neophyte In
preparing his case.
There is little doubt that Mr.. Kane sue
ceeded in proving that the Tageblatts
columns reeked with pro-Germanism OF
spiteful and sneering character. That was
self.evident. But to have proceeded against
the persons of the editors without ocin-
tilla of legal evidence duplicating them,
according to the trial Judge, was to bring
the local branch of the Department of JUS
tice into ridicule and contempt, to give
fresh impetus to the mocking devils of
Kaiserism still allowed to flourish through.
out the land and to hearten the whole
tribe of German sympathizers, who will
interpret the result as a new license eor
their tituperations.
| This is not the first failure in kind by the
United States Attorneys office since this
country went to war. But it is the climax
and the powers-that-be in Washington
| ought to insure that it shall be the last.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
Lines on the Conservation Of q New
Smoking Car

Lovely brand-new, smoking car,
Sacred to the rich cigar.
Carry. safely and with speed,
Happy lovers Of the weed!
Vanished. shining. fresh and clean,
Caravan Of nicotine.
Io. we wish thee long career,
Rolling stock without a peer!
Welcome to suburban trafIlcl
Smokers all rejoice seraphic; n
And the many who commute
May sit down with their cheroot.
Lc. how fsrvsnt = eur praise
4 If thy widows W can' rn1sel
c1rRJcxuguNn 2fonLNx.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

4. GEORGE Fox tie24.eD yss The YhsrsaeS
d 0uskerism. NIn 1880 he meyr1cS ..sS$ ~
fsii. 81 swarthmore Hall. ~ Ex
Enaiaud, and her house. pscsmS 91SS{[
quarters Of the Society p .sni ~
more. near Philadsaphia' In ~
this house. A -.
/, A ..hootlesser', IL ono who sslls nsSS -
~ lawfuliy The term vas urss Jss29ss -
thCse who peddisd whisky ~ nsns.sis1 sns h ~
ervations, .cs!rytns. nask = n
leg Of q high boot. isi,s ~,
s. A "mal.'. tank n la.fs:. ~ q. "Sssk sssk ss
snnin," which came. TO fn"se q
Gently, II . sfcmaies" ....--
A ur.u,e n n uystsm of writing sne ~. ~
~ Tench iSvsnior d tie sssfsn. !. -.
&. ..rhe way Of All FLESH was E.ittsS E.itstsSS ssaiisR
who disi In is0a.
9. Leon Trotsky 4: 1ssssls1H s. Hs SsT I. Nv a. <
i.ssr q War g ths s''s'sa S'''-
!. Bssisnla Franklin. r known - -
.. A skeas hfwit.sr 4 5s:.ssyy safss ~ q e.
i.ss s'ss !: s'ss11siSssi "a iSsssisssiss sis sssa 81 CO.
= :;E;l::s ::;E:l:s; !: :!.:, |: .:s::s;;lv ~;
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

II Congress fails to pass the bill pro-
yiding that as fast as young men reach the
age Of twenty-one they shall be included with
the list of drafted eligibles it will be be-
cause it is not necessary At present it
Seems to be the proper thing to pass the
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

In silly sentiment which. without It's music.
would be derided by school girls. Amer
ican legend, on the other hand, is Infinitely
rich. in material from which writer's Of
perception might long ago have wrought
great librettos. Efforts so far made In
this virgin field have been more or less
futile. But the fault has not been with
the material 1t has been with the method.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

when Hindenburg
Or Like the Morning begins at last to run
Milk Wagon away the clank of his
decorations, as he
goes over the humps, will carry a pang of
homesckness to the Americans who happen
to be within hearing distance. He Is sure
TO sound much like one OF the good old fiat
wheeled trolleys as 1t hits defective cross
ing in the Land of Hearts Desire.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
What Do You Know?


QUIZ
1. why are the Philippines - eahed1
2. what Is the oriEin Of the word cssn
8. What is . ciceronef
4. How are diamonds formedf ,x.
K. what Is tho unusual feature OF tns
ors used on airpianesf ..s..s.
9. why were wooden Indians used -
nists' signs3
=. where Is asphalt obtainedf
9. What IL barrags href .m.s =.
o. who Is In suureme commano VI wv III
fense In FranceY y.
10. what are the uses Of trench mortarss
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Lenroot warns the President to keep his
hands off the Wisconsin fight The only use
of the presidential hands in the crisis should
be for pulling Davies out Of the race.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Score one for efficiency. The War De-
partment has adopted the adjutant generals
recommendation that the army officers devote
their time to training the men instead Of
filling out reports.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Colonel Macarthur. who has been deco
rated for bravery in France. is one Of those
fighting MacArthurs who have long been dis
tineuished in America.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Uncle Joe Cannon
And Uncle Joe 10 said In Washington
Often Right yesterday that the
swivel chair officers
wear spurs to keep their feet from sliding
off the desks. 1t used to be supposed that
the spurs were to help them cling to an oc-
casional horse.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

1t costs the United States $50 a week to
Smaintain each soldier in France. Remember
that when you put down your plunks for the
third Liberty Loan.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Better punishment
It's Hard On the might have been
flag, Tee found for tho suspect-
ID Germans In Liipa,
O.. who wers IdraSgsd through the streets
snd unake 70 kiss The nas. Thsy might have
been - acolle1 " v>aA the xaiears nos-
:ssss xszS9 ~ 2ysr - ( hed'ts n y
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Kaiser Bill evidently constituted hinseR
the umpire of the present titanic struepe
and God is merely doing the coaching sioes ~
the base lines. Bill considers himseit ~
umpire on whom the sun never sets .
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

In sending smokes to the men on service,
buy for quantity rather than quality. That's
what the Stars and Stripes. the official pub
lication Of the A. Z. f., says.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Lenne is about to
Further? fall. He will have TO
hurry II he wishes to be heard
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

The Turk, after killing most Of the
Armenians now promises through Germany
to treat the remainder with consideration.
But the Armenians do not put much trust in
either Turkish or German promises.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Can you pick out Toul and Luneville on
the map? Get to know them-thats where
our boys are teaching the Fritzies the smell
of American powder.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

II all the Town Meeting party sympa-
thizers are to be ousted from the Republican
party the minority that will remain can
hardly claim to be called the respectable
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

No, Emmaline, the
They Match the profusion of green
Cars, SillyI me tormen on the
Chester avenue troll
leys isn't to be accepted as a harbinger of
early spring.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

No, It is not necessary to sit up until
o'clock next Sunday morning to turn the
clock forward. You can do it when you go to
nod
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27
One good old Phila-
Boston Uses
Bean Pots

One good old Phla-
Boston Uses delphia institution is
Bean Pots the pretzel basket,
which hourishes on
streets running north and south, The true
pretzel basket Is equipped with vertical rods
on which the dainties are stacked. We hate
the Hun. but we still fall for his pastry. Do
they have pretzel baskets In Boston?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

The Ware ultimatum, "Scott or fight"
has not cowed the other fellow a bit Fight
II ia
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

Whatever the
height of our respect
boche'' may be for the Boil
sheviki and their hui
.manistc theories, we have reason to feel
glad that they are not functioning on the
Allied side at the present moment on the
western front.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-27

4 1hsrs ars two things the boys in France
~ ~ TOO many of--letters and smokes.
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21

lasting damage to the woodlands I'M
less precautions are taken. On the
other hand, the cutting of cordwood
affords each owner of woodland an
opportunity to clear his land and put
his timber in better condition. To &C.
complish this the idea to keep in mind
is to remove for cordwood the poorer,
less valuable trees, leaving the better
ones to stand. In removing the fuel
wood the greatest precautiOn should
be taken not to injure the more valu-
able trees or the young growth.
Briefly, the material which should
be removed is as follows:
Sound sticks lying on the ground,
including tops left in logging opera
tons. and trees blown over by wind,
crushed down by snow or otherwise
toppled over; dead trees which are
sound and still standing; trees which
are diseased, or are so seriously in
jured by insects that they will prob
ably die, and also trees which are spe.
cially subject to serious disease or
insect attack; crooked trees which are
crowding out straight ones; large old
trees unsuitable for lumber, and hav-
ing big tops which shade out numerous
smaller trees growing beneath them,
small trees which are overtopped and
stunted by larger and better ones,
trees of the less valuable kind which
are crowding good trees Of the more
valuable kinds, trees which by some
chance are growing on ground insult
ed to them; slowly growing trees
which are crowding out equally valu.
able kinds that grow faster; trees
badly fire-scarred at the butt, which
usually become rotten and are among
the first to be blown over by heavy
winds.
The ideal trees for cordwood are
those which range from four to about
ten inches In diameter. The yield Of
cordwood from trees smaller than four
inches in diameter is very slight, and
trees larger than ten inches in diam.
eter are usually more valuable for
some other purpose, unless they are
defective.
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Time to Overhaul Machinery.

The proper time for overhauling
farming machines is during their Pc
rlod Of inactivity and before the rush
Of spring work. II put Off until need
ed, delay incident to getting repair
parts promptly, press Of other work.
and the hazy recollection of the past
seasons difficulties may hinder the eff
ficlent prosecution of this work.
At the end of the seasons work 1t
Is plan well worth while to make
out a schedule of needed repairs and
adjustments for particular machine
and file 1t in convenient place, so
when opportunity arises the work may
be taken up and prosecuted expedl-
tiously. The machine itself represents
capital invested. It should be housed
properly and not left in fence cor.
ner or other out-of-the-way place for
wooden parts to rot and metal parts
to rust, which, even for short periods,
may cause more deterioration than the
seasons use.
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21
use Farm woodIands Wisely.

Farm woodlands are being drawn
upon for large quantities of timber for
war purposes. There is n big demand
for logs of black walnut, white oak,
hickory, spruce, black locust, yellow
birch, yellow poplar, rock elm. ash,
white cedar Tin the southern states),
and also for the bark OF chestnut. oak
and hemlock If near tennin-extract fac
tories. Large, sound trees Of these
species should be cut and marketed
for war purposes, and under no consId-
erntion used for cordwood except us
their tops and branches may be utilized
for this purpose.
Farm woodlands are also furnishing
perhaps double the ordinary amount
Of wood for fuel. This increased de-
mand may result in considerable and
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21
Food Instead Of Flowers.

A virginia florist, according to the
report Of the homo demonstration
agent. planted tomatoes this year in
stead of flowers, SO that he could help
the food situation. He made arrange
ments through the home demonstra.
ton agent with one Of the club girls
to can the tomatoes on shares for the
market.
"He also wants someone to make
pickles for market on shares." says the
report Of the agent.
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21
- Alv - sstreul mad"
SAFE, GENTLE REMEDY
CLEANSES YOUR KIDNEYS

For centuries GOLD MEDAL HARLEM
Oil has been q standard household remedy
for kidney, liver, bladder and stomach
trouble, and all diseases connected with
the urinary organs. The kidneys and blad-
der are the most important organs of the
body. They are the filters, the purifiers Of
your blood. If the poisons which enter
your system through the blood and stom-
sch are not entirely thrown out by the
kidneys end bladder, you are doomed.
Weariness, sleeplessness, nervousness,
despondency, backache, stomach trouble,
headache, pain in loins and lower abdo-
men, gail stones, gravel, difficulty when
urinating, cloudy and bloody urine, rheu-
matism, sciatica and lumbago, all warn you
to look after your kidneys and bladder.
All these indicate some weakness of the
kidneys or other organs or that the enemy
microbes which are always present in your
Iystem have attacked your weak spots.
GOLD MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules are
what You need.
They are not patent medicine" nor
new discovery" For 200 years they
Gilpin observer., 1918-11-21

have been . standard household remedy.
They are the pure, original imported Haar-
lem Oil your great-grandmother used, and
are perfectly harmless. The healing, sooth.
ing oil soaks into the cells and lining Of
the kidneys and through the bladder, driv.
ing out the poisonous germs. New life,
fresh strength and health will come as you
continue the treatment. When complete.
ly restored to your usual vigor, continue
taking capsule or two each day; they will
keep you in condition and prevent . re-
turn Of the disease.
Do not, delay . minute. Delays are e.
pecislly dangerous in kidney and bladder
trouble. Al! druggists sell GOLD MEDAL.
HARLEM Oil Capsules. They will refund
the money If not ~ represented. GOLD
MEDAL Harlem Oil Capsules are i'm
ported direct from the laboratories in Hol.
land. They are prepared in correct guam
tity and convenient fern, are easy to take
and are positively. guaranteed to give
prompt relief. In three sizes, sealed pack.
ages. Ask for the original imported
GOLD MEDAL. Accept no substitutss.-
Adv