Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-07-24
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
Instructions to German Editors
Issued by the Imperial Bureau for Preparing
the German People for News Of
Another Victory

Another Victory
Great General Penquarters.
Somewhere Not. Too Near the Marne,
July "a, 1918.
Whenever German victory occurs
which for reasons of strategy it is inadvis-
able to explain too fully to the public. the
following course will be pursued
special article will be supplied by the
Imperial Mouthpiece for Dissemination Of
Chit Chat. Herr Karl Rosner. This article
which will be uniformly CHEEKY and gos-
sipy. is to be given prominent place on the
front page.
The strategy of the latest movements in
the Marne sector is to be explained &C.
cording to the following formula: "Our
victorious troops have compelled the re.
luctant French to advance across the
Marne. This was done by the French en-.
tirely against their will, and is in pursuit
of General Ludendorff's theory that it is
well to encourage the French now and
then. or they would quit altogether and
the fun would be over"
If the public shows any disposition to in
quire too closely into matters that do not
concern it, it will be well to divert atten.
ton by another announcement of Hnden-
burg's death and graphic description Of
his last hours. General Hindenburg has
given permission for this to be done. and
the announcements will be inserted on the
following schedule:
Week of July 22-Hindenburg dies in
Berlin.
Week of July 29-Hindenburg very i'll
in Vienna.
Week of August 5-Hindenburg buried
in Brest-Litovsk.
Week Of August 12-Hindenburg con-
| valescent in Bavaria.
1t may be convenient for the next few
weeks to avoid mention of the Marine alto
gether. If this plan is adopted by the
Bureau Of Helping Along the Facts due no.
| tice will be given to all editors.
A series of designs and fashion plates
| illustrating the beauty of the new paper
| clothes are being prepared and will be syn.
| dicated to the press.
| Similarly, this bureau will continue the
distribution of the very popular series of
cOlTllCS eDtllleu lVUl ways 10 MAKE u ul-
| nips Fascinating to the Fastidious" These
are to be run on the women's pages of ali
| newspapers and will take the place of war
news whenever there is an important vic.
| tory to be concealed.
! Until further notice, absolutely no men,
| ton is to be made of the following:
| The Crown Prince
| Chateau-Thierry
| Doctor Muehlon
| Macmillan Harden
Spanish influenza
Devil Dogs.
In mentioning American troops great
| care must be taken not to exaggerate the
| numbers Of Americans in France. 1t may
he admitted unofiiciaily that General Per-
shng and his personal staff have arrived
| also a quantity of baseball bats: but it is
| well to add that owing to a gross mistake
| on the part of the American navy most of
the American troops have been landed in
| Africa by mistake.
| During the continuance of startling sue.
| cess on the western front it will be we'll
| to avoid overencouraging the public by
| turning their attention to more seemly
| topics. such as the hot wave in America,
| which has caused the death of millions of
| prominent citizens; and the brutality of
the Washington Government. which COM
| pels American citizens to continue their
tasks as usual. just as though they were
| not terrorized by U.boat raids along their
| coast (Signed) Won BUNK.
| Deputy charged with the task of interpret.
| ing disagreeable matters.