davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
Luke McLuke Says

The reason why women break all of their marriage engagements is because a man is a better sport than woman and would rather take his medicine than be a well cher.
 The only argument in favor of prohibition that we can think of is the fact that when four men get to drinking ice cream sodas and milk shakes in sundae parlor, they never get yen to organize a quartette.
 This country is growing better. It takes more than the fact that she has been divorced six times to make a theatrical star out of society woman nowadays.
 Men are fond of the great Amer jean game. But they would rath- CT see an artists model display her curves than see a baseball pitched display his.
 Many a woman who is proud of her hair is indulging in false pride.
 WE dll ISfCtChCC oiltiquity if a lot of sthe old masterpieces were younger they would be re- garded as commonplace.
 Even henpecked man can get a little peace of mind when he takes his wife out in the machine. He can start the muffler going and she has to stop talking because she can't even hear herself talk.
 Any time man marries for money his wife fails to get her moneys worth.
 It often happens that man will kill himself making a fortune so that his son can kill himself spend ing it.
 A preacher rests up between Sun days. But old man Satan is on the job twenty-four hours day.
 What has become of the old fashioned small town cut-up who, when he say a>man carrying a va lise, would ask: Are you travel ing or just going somewhere?"
 We have roamed around a great deal and we have found that no woman who behaves herself proper ly ever needs a gun to defend her honor.
 There are two sides to every case. When a married woman be- slows all of her affection on a poodle, maybe she has that kind of a husband.
 A fat woman may not admit that she is fat. But she will al ways admit that all the girls in her family were inclined to be little stout.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
THE LOST PATH

(New York Evening Sun) Along a little twisted rose-hung path We two went out to walk one
 summer day, Then, led by wider streets and
 broader fields We lost our waay. We saw there running streams and
 deep blue seas And roads that led along the
 winding downs, And massive mountains on whose
 fir-trimmed tops Hung ancient, hidden towns. We saw there palaces with carven
 walls And taverns where the busy high
 roads crossed Still we are seeking but we have
 not found That little path we lost.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
STOP EATING SOLDIERS"

In February Cosmopolitan is brief article der the above caption which drives home the sity of food conservation. It says:
 every Cosmopolitan family does it's bit the million households in which this magazine is read alone wheat and meat enough to nourish million fighting The need for food conserva- ton is not fool conservation" Two sorts of sub marines threaten the Allies-the U-boat isn't whit more effective than the stacker garbage pail
 If each of you takes of the little wastes in your home. the big war will soon take care of it. self. Women of the United States the final arbitrators of this appalling conflict
 As they write their market lists, they determine the fate of the state and its foes. Cook the Kasers goose your stoves.
 Victory there is being weighed upon grocers scales here.
 The flag out front signifies nothing unless it's also hanging in the icebox. Whoever pampers spec iai tastes hampers army-dines upon the very Stan and stripes
 We have challenged the dreadest military force in all annal4 and we shall fail ignominousiy and be
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
QUAKER oUIPs.

Philadelphia Record)
 A girl can't be expected to be warmhearted if she wears it on her sleeve.
 It is easy enough for man to laugh and grow fat provided Dame Fortune has smiled on him.
 When a fellow sees snakes in his boots 1t doesn't do him much good to yell for a sherry cobbler.
 Many a mans idea of patriotism gets no farther than observing meatless days when he is a vege- tarian.
 Any girl can be called a chicken, but it isn't every fellow who can distinguish the cold-storage variety.
 Some people seem gifted with second sight. On the other hand, some people can find fault with their eyes shut.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
BUSINESS WILL ADJUST ITSELF
Steward Gateway


 Some believe that Alaska is now going to the eternal bow bows account of the liquor business being suspended Nothing is ridiculous as this assumption. The State of Washington is today in better condition than before; Seattle and Tacoma have experienced such prosperous era that there comparison with the present ani past and Seward going to be better off than Nine places liquor selling closed the doors at midnight Monday in Seward. One immediately changed into soft drink emporium and pool room and other places closed temporarily for repairs. Two other locations will occupied perhaps within a couple of weeks and men engaged in the liquor business who leav ing Seward will be suppanted by equal number coming here to engage in businesses. Seward is SO situated that nine businesses going out will only temporarily be felt The is still in the ground the fish are in the Other industries have not been changed the least whit All people must live as formerly Money that has been spent bars will turned into other channels because there is just as much money here before the liquor houses closed that part of the license money will be missed but other will be forthcoming to make up the deficiency.
 No-instead of Alaska going backwards, watch and notwithstanding the Alaska is going forward and Seward especially. Everything will adjust itself within few days and January 1918 will be better year than January 1917. January, 1916
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

ous," all you need ejaculate is: "Ace hobat ei giv ud hobos."
 And when you want to say: "1 am we'll today, but I was sick yes terday," all you have to gargle is "Abi lie sit aco til taf ud abi ca loc tik taf.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
WILHELM'S NEW BOOK

It is likely that book reviewers in allied coun tries will get a chance in the near future to read Kaiser Wilhelm in War Time" work containing all the Kasers speeches, edited by himself and passed by the General Staffm
 Perhaps it is just we'll that the book will cir cuate exclusively in Germany for the present but one could not feel resigned to the deprivation if 1t were not that the General Staff is taking a hand
 What the Kaiser says. when left to indulge his own garrulity interesting good illustration of this be found in his cable message to the Presl- dent telling why his army did its best to assassinae Belgium His lofty declaration another occasion that he was not responsible any short of the Almighty was another.
 But Wilhelm, edited by the General Staff we fear will be dull.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

A woman always wants the last word, but that doesn't necessarily indicate that she has reached defi- nite conclusion.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Certain members of Congress are modestly admit ting that the President could have stronger men in his Cabinet-(New York Word)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

When he takes a tablet and pencil and figures out what he is and what he might have been. the Kaiser gets 42-centmeter headache (Pittsburgh Dispatch)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Mir Roosevelt's fervent wish that Billy" Loeb President recalls the days when that faithful Secretary Presidents altar ego-(Philadelphia Ledger.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Is isn't every fellow who blows his own horn that can qualify as an army trumpeter.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Then It Happened
 "I wonder if you could?" unused the Rummy, as he put his glass back on the bar.
 You wonder if I could what?" demanded the barkeep, as he be- gan to remove his apron.
 "I wonder if you could say that a barber is man of many parts" replied the Rummy, as he headed for the door
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

There is no peace earth just now, but good will is not entirely extinct.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Russion revolutonsts propose to simplify Rus. sian spelling Perhaps will admit the justification for this-(St Louis Globe -Democrat)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Eggs are to sell at $1.25 dozen next season. we are told Her Honor the hen, may have some thing to say about that.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

TWO IN ONE = The EMPIREe say for everybody. The EMPIRES ads" keeps the housewife informed of all sales and the news columm sre light ID to the mtauts on tn
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

The United States has one-third of the world gold But what want is one third Of the world trade
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

The Kaiser solemnly asserts that he .dossnt boast" But he'll swear to anything.-(Atlanta Con
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

About the only thing about the Kaiser that hell do what he gives his promise not to do. Detroit Free Press.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Phone 1t to The EmpIre. No. 37s
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
BITS OF BY-PLAY By Luke McLuke Copyright by Cincinnati
 Enquirer

Push lot of push had Henry Hoo, Before he took a chance at mar riage; But now it makes him angry to Expend it in a baby carriage.
 Huh "A mans sins find him out" warned the Parson Well, so do his bills when call," replied the Bill Collector
 Some Difference It makes a difference, yes, indeed To this advice attend; While all men seek friend in need, They dodge a needy friend.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
You Know Hin

You Know Him We have no use for Oswald Pratt, He brags around and blows; When he's not talking through his
 hat,
 He's talking through his nose.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Rockefeller's luck still holds. His summer home burned in mdwinter.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
Our Daily Special

When You Lend . Man Money To Tide Him Over He Doesn't Al ways Come Up With The Tide.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
Lessons in 10

Another reason why we are fond of Ro. the new world speech, is because when you want to ask. Have you joined the Red Cross!" all you have to ny is: "Aci wei cul at Bofac OmAe."
 And when you want to say: Your gift is beautiful and gener-
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Paw Knows Everything -.-Wille-Paw, what are the des- tinies that shape our ends? Paw-The manicurist and the chiropodist, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

Tedce, IelloW men. asks Kaiser Bill
 He hopes the conflict ceases; But we will have no peace until We've shot the skunk to pieces.
 Oh! He is as kind as he can be. But when folks meet a man in Topton, they say Walter B. Kinder.
 Wonders The greatest man I ever knew Was William Henry Black; He merely smiled and said, Pooh pooh,"
 When he stepped on a tack.
 -(Luke McLuke) We'll own he is some statesman, but We're strong for Jimmy Katt; He simply grinned and said, "Tut. tut"
 When the wind removed his hat.
 -(Macon Telegraph The country editor, as you can see, : Can surely beat them all, For he only says. "Oh, me! oh me- When his car comes to stall
 Butler Herald) This Butler editors g fake. As one can plainly see; For since he did an auto take. Iris the dealer says. "Owe me. owe me-"
 -(Savannah Press.)
 Love
 Here's to Love!
 It cometh from above And lighteth like a dove
 On some.
 While some 1t never hits. Except to give them fits, And take away their wits. By gum!
 -(Fag.)
 Names h Names ohio.
 Our Daily Special When You Lend . Man Money To Tide Him Over He Doesn't AL ways Come Up With The Tide.
 Lessons in Ro Another reason why we are fond of Ro. the new world speech, is because when you want to ask. "Have you joined the Red Cross?"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
Our Uultimatum

Our Uultimatum Peace, fellow men!" asks Kaiser
 Bill
 He hopes the conflict ceases; But we will have no peace until We've shot the skunk to pieces.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26
Names Is Names

Walter Hadaway lives in Elyfia. Ohio.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-01-26

He is as kind as he can be. But when folks meet a man in Topton, they say Walter B. Kinder.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
thin PEOPLE
SHOULD TAKE
PHOSPHATE
NothNa Like Plain eltro-P Phosphate 20
Put on Firm, Healthy Flesh and
to Increase strength, V,aor
and Nerve Force.

Judging from the countless prepara-
tlons and treatments which are contin-
naIIy being advertised for the purpose
OF making thin people fleshy, develop
ing arms, neck and bust, nnd replacing
nsly hollows and angles by the soft
crirved lines Of health and beauty, there
are evidently Thousands OF men and
women who keenly feel their excessive
thinness.
dus 10 starved nerves. Our bodies need
in modern foods. Physicians claim there
js nothing that will supply this deficiency
20 well az the organic phosphate known
among druggists as bitro- phosphate,
which 10 inexpensive and 10 sold by
Westfall and most all druggists under
guarantee OF satisfaction or money
back. BY feeding the nerves directly
and by supplying the body cells with
the necessary phosphoric FOOD ele-
ments, bitro-pbosphate quickly pro-
duces q welcome ransformation In the
-appearancej the increase In weight fro
quently being astonishing.
This increase in, weight also carries
With II a general Improvement in the
Iach of energy. which nearly always
accompany excessive ~thlnness, soon
dlsappear. dull eyes become bright, and
DIE cheeks glow with the bloom Of
perfact health.
4AuTION:-Anhoush bltro- phosphate
10 unsurpassed for relieving nervousness
soeopleesness and general weakness, II
1Aopld not, owing TO Its remarkable
neod-arowinG properties, be used by
anyone who does not desire to put on
nssh- LAdy)
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
5000 Men Wanted
To Train for Navy
Engineer Places

The navy department is in need Of
5000 men with technical training aud
experience and qualified for training to
become marine engineer officers, &C
cofding to Information received this
morning by Adjutant General Gipson
from Provost Marshal General Crowd
er.
Orders to grant the release OF regis
trantS for enlistment in this branch
will be forwarded direct 10 local draft
boards, General Crowder advises.
"Slackers, persons who have failed
to register. delinquens and deseTtcrs
shall not be granted releases. Neither
shall persons deferred on the grounds
OF agriculture and industry and who
hold order numbers which, had they
been classified in class one, would have
been passed by their local boards, be
released under these orders" states
General Crowdcr's telegram.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28

The things which al that time seemed
so important will shrink into insiguiil-
canoe, and he will look forward to his
next Sentry Co." not A. something
~ be dreaded, but as a welcome change
from the ordinary routine OF the camp.
he has learned the lesson that a sol
der IS at his best when individual re-
,ponsibllity is placed upon him. II gives
him the feeling that he is no longer a
private in the rear rank, or a mere cog
in the army machine. lie is, in fact
IN command The general or colonel
ts asleep. There, in the early hours
OF the morning. always on the qui yiye,
the sentry is safeguarding the sleeping
officers and his mates. The general Is,
the private the private Is the general.
But next morning. he units mentioning
dis fact to the general because sen
tries also guard prisoners.
A Chance for Promotion.
A few pointers 10 the recruit mount
Ing guard at home for the first time
Will MOI, be amiss. Remember that a
soldier lh. is 30 efficient on guard that
the oi.r oi the day remarks on thi,
efficiency. B., the soldier who later be.
come, a non-commissionel office.
Guard duty Is the real test Of soldier
efficiency. On this detail his cool
and bad qualities are very apparent.
80. ! post IS the coveted post Of the
guard. 1t IS an honor for a soldier u
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28

a minute or 50, the man from the squad
comes 10 shoulder arms and marches
along the well-troJicn path in the same
manner as his predecessor. while the
soldier who ha, been relieved falls in
the rear OF the squad. A harp order
from the corporal and The squad moves
forward until It comes 10 another ono
Of these aimleS'ly plodding figure,
Your questions are answered You
have just witnessed the relief OF A SEN
try on guard, the watchdog OF an army
camp, or post
They're Responsible.
These men for twenty four hours arc
responsible for the maintenance Of or
der. discipline, and the safety OF the
irollcklng soldiers on this holiday II
the camp or post were TO be stationed
at this particular site for 100 year, or
more, blade OF graS, would never grow
on these laid out paths. or posts. as they
are called m the army. Never. unless
through a grave breach of discipline.
does a sentry leave his post unguardcd
In peace time the rule, and regulations
covering breaches oi guard duty are Sc.
we're, IN war time, the rules. rcgula
tons and pcnaluc- are double severe,
a grave breach Of guard regulations
ot,mc, resulting IN a sentence OF death
When a soldier 10 war time is posted
as a sentry, u entails a grave rcSpon-
sjbl.l'y, the lives OF his mates and the
safety OF his company rest upon hi,
vigilance and intelligence. j, Is On,
duty 0i such a sentry 70 safeguard Dbl,
pot, and. Iu case Of approaching dan-
ger, warn hi, comrades, even though
by doing So he sacrifices his own lrte.
To the recruit, alter a few day, scrv-
ne, a sentry appears 10 be something
wonderful, and IN his heart he despair
o. ever acquiring that high degree OF
ability and efficiency necessary TO this
exalted position.
A Grave Responsibility.
When he mounts guard for the frs,
time, he does so IN fear and trembling
All Selt.conildcnCc has vanished. The
most commonplace question from the
officer or non-oommisSioncd officer oI
the guard will elicit a stammcring an.
confused reply, but after his twenty iour
hours tour Is over, when he has beer
relieved, and is sitting on his bunk Of
cot, he will look back at his p]reyiau.
fear ~ an altogether different light
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
POWDER IN SHOES
As WELL As Guns
Foots Ease to Be Added TO Equip
ment OF Hospital Corps
at Fort Wayne.

Under the above heading the Detroit
Free Press, among other things says,
"The theory il that soldiers whose feet
are in good condition can walk further
and faster than soldiers who have corns
and bunions incnsed In rawhide."
The P%lattsburg Camp Manual advises
men in training TO shake Foot-Ea in
their shoes each morning.
One war relief committee reports, Of all
the things sent out in their Comfort Kits,
Aliens Foot-Fhse received the most
praise from the soldiers and sailors. II is
used by American, French and British
troops, because IL takes the Friction from
the Shoe and freshens tho feet There
Is no foot comforter equal to Aliens
Poot-Ease, the antiseptc, hsAling powder
to be shaken into the shoes and sprinkled
in the foot-bath, the standard remedy
for over as years for hot, tired, aching,
psrspiring, smarting, swollen, tender
feet, corns, bunions, blisters or callouscs'
Why not order a dozen or more 25c.
boxes to-day from your Druggist or
Dept. store TO mail 10 your friends in
training camps and in the army and navy.
A limited number OF Free Trial Pack
ages Of Aliens Foot-Ease will be for
wdrded, charges prepaid, 20 any War
Relief Committee for making up Com
fort Kits. Address, Allan s. Olmsted,
lie Roy, N. Y.
(AdyertisementO
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
More Information
Will Be Sought
In Registration

WASHINGTON, Aug q Men be-
tween lS and IS who register under the
new man-power bill will be required to
furnish personal information much
more varied and extensive than has
been secured from rcgistrants OF mill
tary ages IN previous cnrolments, a
synopsis Of the registration card pre-
pared by the provost marshal general
shows. 1t will carry twenty separate
questions.
A number OF the questions which the
new regiStran,s must answer deal with
citizenship and the registration ard
will fully define nativity OF each man.
the information presumably assisting
in applying military service regulations
Of allied nations to theft nationals.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28

LONDON, Aug % The German
empress, who has been III for several
days, has taken a turn for the worse,
according 20 a message received in
Amsterdam from Dusseldorf and for
wardcd to the Exchange Telegraph
company.
The message adds that her heart dis
plays increased weakness.
Emperor William has not been able
10 leave the bedside Of hi, wife. It is
declared that no bulletin on the em-
press, condition will be published in
order 20 not alarm tine people.
Earlier report, received through
Amsterdam in,imatcd that the empress
condition had improved.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
GERMANY FACES
DARKEST HOUR
HUN CRITIC SAYS
Won Ardenne Compares Fight
ing With ThermopyIae,

AMSTERDAM. Aug 28-"The Ger
man army and nation now face dark
hours May God protec, the father
land" concludes an article by Lieut.
Gen. Baron Won Ardenne in the Dus-
seldorf Nachrich,en Of Tuesday.
The period from August ~ to q
has been one OF the trying tests Of this
hardest OF wars" the critic says, but he
thinks the Germans have stood the test
magnIilcently and compares certain $50
lated actions with the stand Of Leonl-
das at Thermopylae.
General Won Ardenne speaks OF meas
ures which ii is not yet permitted 10
speak and which will aid the Germans
IN resuming the initiative and in re-
coupling their losses" lie does not be
lieve that the offensive will end speed
lily.
America has been able to transport,
more than one million soldiers TO
France because they have been carried
In small, swift steamers which offer
very difficult targets for the torpedoes
Of the submarine. declares Captain
Zimmerman OF the German general
staff IN a lecture at Bre,lau on the mil
itary situation, according TO the Rhc,-
niSche Wrsphalran Gazette NJ Essen
He said the steamer, we're escorted by
warships.
The captain said there were 5000
American, at the front and 7OOOO0
more behind the lines.
The recent progress uf the a%ll'c,. the
captain attributed 10 the mass employ.
ment Of tanks which had Welded initial
success. but, he declared, mean, now
had been found 10 master them.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
WILDCAT OIL STOCK
UNDER u. S. VIGILANCE

WASHINGTON. Aug. 2s-To round
up hundreds Of wildcat and unaulhor.
wed issues Of stocks and bonds, compel
promoters TO submit these to govern
men' review, the capital issues COM
mIllce today created a special vigilance
department, which plans TO establish
agents IN practically every city 10 re-
port IN advance ON business ]propOsi-
ilons involving capital expenditures.
Details OF organization plans will be
authorized in a few days.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-08-28
Deferred Man Asks
Place in Class One

With a request to be placed in class
one a." Jasper X. Henthorn. ZOO
West Reno avenue. who has been a
farmer in Oklahoma county for ten
years. appeared before county draft
board No, ! early this morning His
wife came with him, ard both signed
waivers Of exemption claims. Henthorn
was in deferred classification His re
quest was granted, and he is to GO
sometime between September J and !
to Camp Logan. Houston. Texas, as a
general service man.
He has a wife and two children, one
2 and one 3 years OF age, and six broth
ers and seven sisters. 81 have only one
brother in the service now. and ! can't
con%scientiously stay out" Hcrthorn re
marked when he presented his request
10 ue board. His first claim for ex-
emption was on the grounds Of a dc
pendent family Since that time he has
made arrangements for their care.