El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-22
GET FULL
HOUSE AGAIN
Local Jokes Make a Hit
With the Big Audience;
Some of the Jokes.


Elks' minstrel show at the Texas
Grand on Tuesday evening-an even
/ larger audience than on the first
night The entire lower floor was
filled and there were more seats tax
en- in the balcony than on the first
night
Many Of the jokes were new and
the performers seemed more confident
Of themselves, therefore gave a bet
ter account Of themselves than on the
first night. if anything.
Charlie Brann and W II. Fryer, inn
personating Zach Lamar Cobb and
Claude B. Hudspeth in joint debate.
were the big hit of the second night
and the applause was so strenuous
that they had TO take curtain calls.
Big Help To Red Cross.
Altogether, it is believed that the
lodge viii realize something like
$1,000 for the Red Cross. above ex-
penses. as a result OF the two-night
chow Credit for this is due largely
to Chas- Armstrong, director Of the
now. who conceived the idea and put
it on
The lodge wishes to give credit TO
I. II Crawford. lessee OF the Texas
Grand, for his cooperation, as he gave
in addition. donates 500 TO the Red
Cross. through the Ell1s. He wired
his local manager, E F. Maxwell.
that he wished to show appreciation
Of the patriotism Of the Elks and
authorized him TO write a check for
500 for the Red Cross. TO be donated
through the Elks, regardless OF the
receipts from the show. AS the share
Of Mr.. Crawford will be but little
more than $500 for the two nights
the Elks consider his action most
generous
some OF The Jokes.
Now that the show is over. for the
failed to attend the performance. IL
is permissible to print some OF the
jokes.
For instance, J. II. Niece asked the
interlOcutOr The meaning Of camou-
flage- Being told that "camouflaEe
may be taken as Indicating something
where there is nothing" Ir- Niece I
said:
Then the good Lord certainly did
a fine Job OF camouflaEing when he
nut that brainy looking head on Y.
R. stiles" The first night he used
George Theisen instead Of stiles.
He wanted TO know why Jake
Miller was going to put an apple over
the White House door as a Trademarks I
and then said- Mr. Miller says IL IL
hadn't been for an apple where
would the clothing business be-
Tom Couzens and Marriage.
Then he told one on Tom Couzens- I
He said Tom asked a girl II she Z
thought marriage a failure. Having ]
never been married. 7 can't say" she I
said. "but between you and me. Tom. /
I think it would be-
Willie Winch said he was standing I
in front Of The Herald office and saw I
Bob Page 90 in Somebody asked ]
him II that was where they made /
men Willie asked him what he ]
meant The man said: 4 just saw a 4
frame Of one going in"
Willie. when asked how he felt I
said. as he placed his hand to his /
head I'D be all right if 7 could keep
my Wigwam."
He asked how 20 catch a squirrel
and answered. Climb a tree and i
make a noise like a nut" Asked how
he would catch Charlie Armstrong.
he said stand on a corner and make
a noise like a skirt"
County Jail Is Hit.
g. ". Wilchar asked why the new
fail is called "a Mother. Hubbard
IaiIT and replied that IL is because
.t is so easy 70 get out Of
Barry HaEedon said they were en-
'loyinE manicurist at the jail "to
Tile on the prisoners nails so they
,an't scratch out"
Barry wanted TO know II It wasn't
4 serious situation over in France and
being told by the interlocutor that we
needed more men over there-another
regiment from Fl Paso at least. he
said; "I'u tell Mr.. Ted Cooley and
have him muster in his family"
Then he said Cooley went 10 Fred
Feldman TO get a group picture made
of his children and that FeIdman
said. showing the pictures: They
are SIS dozen" Cooley said, "Tlli
have TO wait a little while; I only
have ten"
A Smart Man.
Harry Lyman asked IL Dr.. ". 7.
Brown wasn't a very smart man. and
being told that he was a graduate OF
two universities, said. That's moth
versity. but I claim 10 be some smart
man. without any help I filled out
my draft QUESTIONABLE and filed my
income tax report"
Harry said his wife hated TO talk
over the telephone-"just naturally
resents having to get the permission
1f another woman TO talk.
Tom Donahue asked IL il wasn't sad
about so many young men going 20
war from FL Paso and being told that
.t was. and that Eve miss them very
much" said: Yes, and we are GO
.uE 10 miss some OF Lne OlQ ones
too Since we have prohibition here,
we are going 70 lose VIII Brown,
Doc Higgins. judge Jim Harper and
4 lot OF others. who are going over
here TO join the tank corps"
The purity Squad
Barry said the Purity squad had
leen disbanded. Tom Donahue asked
him why. He said: Because there's
lobody in FL Paso who can qualify"
Chief Of police Charlie Pollock
RULED one on the purity squad. TOO.
lie came onto the stage and then
tarted TO shuttle off His partner.
4en Nash. asked him where he was
,cing. Il heard the purity squad
as out" said Charlie, so I thought
d better get to cover"
In his song. Somebody's Done Ne
Wrong" Barry said they had done
i'm wrong if they mixed him up
with that McNary purity squad"
Another verse said:
For years I've been a Democrat, a
Democrat good and true,
But when you mix me up in this
Hudspeth-Zach Cobb stew;
Somebody's Done Ne Wrong"
Military Jokes.
Barry asked Donahue il he knew .
zen. Cl0pton Smith. Donahue insisted
hat he knew private Clopton Smith"
ne NOT aaT-am C1nnHnm Smith Eq.rr~- q &