The Belding banner-news. (Belding, Mich.) 1918-1973, 1918-10-09
A PROUD SONS
LETTER To HIS
FOND FATHER
CLOWN PRINCE WILLIE WRITES
OF THOSE RUDE, NAUGHTY
YANKS AND HIS OWN BRAVE
DEEDS AT THE FRONT.

w. E. Leach brings the following
letter in for. publication. The let
ter is one which Willie Hohenzollern
wrote his father recently. Of
things took turn on the western
front and Willie, the clown prince,
whose army made a GLORIOUS re-
treat" recently for 'strategical rea-
sons has written this letter to his
father, the kaiser, explaining the sit
uation on the battle front:
"On the Run Somewhere in France,
August Times.
Dear Papa:
81 am writing you on the run as the
brave and glorious soldiers under my
command have not seen the Rhine for
so long that they have started that
way, and of course, l am going NIT
dem. Oh papa, dere has been some
offel dings happened here in France.
First started in my big often
sive, which was to crush the fool
Americans, but dey know so little
smashed just like | want 'em. / sent
my men in de fight in big vanes and
when they get to de Americans dey
all said Boo as loud as dey could
holler. Veil according to vat you
haf always told me, dey Americans
should have turned and run like
blazes. But what you tink? Dem
fool Americans don't know anything
about the war and instead of running
de odder vey dey come right towards.
Some of dem vas singing something
about we won't come back till it's
over over dere,' or some odder foolish
song, and some of dem laffing like
fools. Dey are so iknorant. But
dey are offel reckless NIT dere guns
and ven dey come towards us it vas
den dat my men took notion dey
wanted To go back to de dear old
Rhine. We don't like de little old
dirty Marne river, anyhow. Und,
oh, papa, dem Americans use such
offel language. Dey know nothing
of kultur and say such offel dings
right before us. And dey talk, bias
phemy. Vot you think they said
right in front of my face? One big
husky from a place dey call Belding,
he said, Oh, papa, / hate to tell you
vat offel ding he said-but l can't
help it. He said TO hell NIT der
Kaiser! I don't tink anybody would
say such an offel ting. 1t made me
so mad l wouldn't stand and hear
such an offel ding, so / turned round
and run NIT de odder boys. Vas ]
right? Vat? And, Oh papa, you
know dem breastplates vat you sent
us. Can you send some to put on
de odder vey now and breastplates
are no good for the cowardly Ameri-
cans are shooting us right in der
back. Some of our boys took off der
breast plates and put 'em behind but
de fool Americans are playing DE
Star Spangled Banner NIT machine
guns on dem plates. Can't you help
us? You remember in your speech
you said nothing could stand before
de brave German soldiers. Oh. papa,
/ don't believe does ignorant Ameri-
cans ever read your speech for dey
run after us Just like We vas lot of
rabbits-vot tink of dat? Can't you
send some of your speeches right
away. Dey don't know how terrible
We are. Cant you move my army
back to Belgium we're We Won all our
glory? Ny men can vip all de vim
men and children dat de Belgians
bring up. But de Americans are so
rough and ignorant. We can't make
'em understand dat We. are de greatest
soldiers on earth and ven We try to
sing Deutschland Uber Allies dey
laugh like lot of monkeys. But We
are getting the best Of de Americans.
We can outrun dem, papa, if We are
not de best fighters on earth We are
sure de best runners. Nobody can
keep up NIT US ven We tink Of der dear
old Rhine and my army never did tink
so much Of dot dear old river.
"Let me know right away what to
do by return post Office. f4
a1 ree "Crown Prince Willie" 4