davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
luke McLuke Says

Luke McLuke says
 Any man who will wear tight shoes to make his feet look small ought to go the entire route and wear corsets.
 Somewhere in this world there may be a man whose job is harder than he thinks it is But we never run into him.
 There was a time when woman never looked at the first page of a newspaper unless she was interested in some divorce scandal. She read the death notices, the advertisements few local items, and then tossed the paper aside. But the American woman of today is following the war as closely as is the American man The other day we met four wOmenly women at four different times, and each of the four said Did you see what we did to the Germans yes terday?"
 More people would be willing to listen to what you call treason" if by treason" you didn't mean your version of things.
 Of course it isn't as romantic. But the case of a man who marries for a home and doesn't get it is just as pathetic as the case of the woman who marries for love and doesn't get it.
 Even if you are poor you can cheer ,J tn hnr around and run after people for the interest on the money you lent them
 There are so many bank holidays that an ordinary man wonders how bankers get any work done. Every time the almanac shows that the day is the anniversary of the death of William Bills, or the birth Of Thomas Titmouse, or the discovery of Newfoundland, bank declares l holiday to celebrate the occasion.
 What has become of the old-fash toned man who used to use a clove IS a chaser?
 It is human nature to criticise others because they do not do things that wo cannot do ourselves.
 Pity the newspaper reported. With 300.000 people in town who are will ing and anxious to be interviewed, his City Editor insists that he inter view the one man who doesn't want 70 be interviewed and doesn't intend to be interviewed.
 A lot of Prohibitionists die 0i food delerium tremens because they
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

be prepared to suffer for the general welfare. 1t was manifest that something drastic had to be done and the dangers of the situation had been frequently pointed out.
 The seriousness had not been realized in 1905 when the river closed for period and the danger was infinitely more acute at this time, he said. The of the Fraser uncon taminated ever, said Bell-lrving, and there why the river should not be made productive ever.
 Congress should give the Suzer fisheries bi careful consideration amend it if it needs amendmen and pass it without too much delay. It contain the ground work for the salvation of Alaskas grea est industry.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
A GREAT SHOWING

Alaska stands first among all the political divisions of the Twelfth |. S. Reserve District in the amount per capita of subscriptions Liberty Bonds PAT per cent. That is record that proves several things -Alaskans patriotic to the core, they are prosperous and the Territory is not in anything ap preaching desperate business circumstances Alaska is only American all the way. she is not only intensely patriotic, but she has a strength that will put her over the top in many lines and many times in the days when the shall have ended and the people and their money shall go in search of enterprises and places to make profits
 Juneau has contributed to the purchase of Lib erty Bonds War Savings Stamps, the Red Cross and other funds something more than $800,000 in the last year And Douglas and other nearby communi added their big subscriptions to this vast sum- The extent to which the people have dug down. and the extent to which they have been saving their earnings for the purpose of digging down more is probably little dreamed by the average citizen.
 This showing is indicative of the capacity Of this section do big things when the war shall have ended. It is a of the financial strength ol Gastneau Channel.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Scarinq Him

It does a man good to eat too much greasy food once in a while. him and makes him think of the past and his future and gives him a good scare.-(Luke McLuke
 About the scariest thing about eat ing nine No buckwheat cakes for breakfast, for instance, is being told by friend wife after the meal that the flour is all gone Wilmington News.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
TOM McCAUL BUSY

Thomas J. McCaul, of the Gas tineau Garage and Motor Company. is now busy with his line of Dodge Motor cars. MT. McCaul has re- ceived several inquiries recently for cars and is now engaged in boost ing the car. He has had his shep force at work for the past several weeks putting his stock. and rent cars in shape for the Summers business.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Guessed Riqht

You couldn't let me have twenty bucks until tomorrow, could you?" said Smith.
 You certainly arc a mind reader old man." replied Jones. "No, l couldn't"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
The RuIinn Passion

The baseball fan was wandering o'ef The gold streets on the other shore And now and then he would impore; Say, brother tell mel what's the
 score?"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Flaw, flaw!

What are your favorite phono graph records?" asked MT. Naybor who had a machine that was kept going morning, noon and night.
 The ones that have been de stroyed," growled Mr Crouch.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

One reason why a girl can't rest contentedly in a hammock is because she is always wondering how she would look if it spilled her.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Modern Cursery Rhymes

"'oue'" SurSe'y h''y"'eS Sing song of Belgium, Pluck out a baby's eye; Fourteen thousand infants Baked in pie.
 When the pie was opened The Huns began to sing; "Ist not das ein Kultur dish To set before our King!"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
The Wise Fool

Ignorance is bliss" observed the Sage.
 Yes" agreed ibe Fool, when you have more money than you know what to do with"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
THE ZEEBRUGGE RAID.
(NeW York WOrld.(

The British carried out their attack on the Ger man submarine bases Ostend and Zeebrugge with splendid dash and skill The operation took them into waters that were heavily mined. They braved the U boats in their stronghold and they di- rectly under the heavy fire of the German coast fense guns.
 At Ieebrugge, where the British raidng force did the most damage, it evidently succeeded in block ing the channel by sinking two concrete-aden old cruisers Even though the advantage gained may he only temporary in barring the Bruges Canal to the boats, the enterprise will be of considerable value.
 However substantial the military results achieved, the moral effect of the daring exploit will be excel lent. It shows that after weary years of waiting the aggressive spirit of the British fighting forces has declined and that they are ready for any adventure and equal to any test that may be open to them.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke
 -:- Copyright by Cincinnati
 Enquirer
Ok1!

A sign on a funeral directing es- tabGshment in Osborne, Ind, reads:
 Dunn Undertaking But he isn't done He is waiting until you are done so he can com mence.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Me Wonolcr

The fair grass widow sigh3 all day, l think her name is Molly Rawn ;
 say
 She is a maiden all for lawn?
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Amercas great job is to kill Huns, and must send the men and equipment Europe to do that as fast as they can be recruited
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Canada has reduced the age limit for the draft years, and Germany is sending boys of the 1919 class into the fight.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Miss AIbrecht

country that when man talks too much he has to tell some of it to the Judge.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Betcha

l know I'm not selfish stiff l hope that you will get me; I'd gladly love my neighbor if l though that she woulG let me
 -Iuke McLuael
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Give us your next order for trans fer work or coal. Juneau Transfer Company. Phone AS.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Or, mayhap, of Brother Bob,' of the Alaska Steamship Company. Brother Bob halls from the city of monuments and orioles.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

GOLD SHIELD COFFEE always fresh," because it is in the best can.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

New York optimst believes that the Germans will become good eventually. Yes, General 1aig is increasing the number of good Germans every day (Indianapos Star.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Some writer says Uncle Sam is the largest em. ployer in the world. That may be true but be. ieve it will be admitted that the German Emperor is keeping people busy than any man who ever ived.-( Houston Post.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Are your coal bins empty? Phone Femmer and Ritter, IA.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

The earthquake in California has proved that the Bear State be considerably rocked even though Senator Hiram Johnson be in faraway Washington Philadelphia Telegraph)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Safety First

Somnambulists are not so blind When barefoot Of this l have
 proOf
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Learn One New Thing Each Day Camels are able to work when they are five years old.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

only know that he was appointed by the Presi dent By that would judge that he had quail. fcaons. (Senator Brandegeel
 Among the Presidents selection for various tasks since the began Pershing, Root Taft, Schwab, Goehals, Ryan, Hoover, Hurley, Vanderip-to men ton only few of them mostly Republicans. How many United States Senators their equal ill abiy?-(New York WorldD
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

His enemies say that Mr McAdoo is mostly wind They must admit then that he's whrlwind = (Charleston News and Courer1
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Perhaps, if she's in kindly mood, She'd take your love, not spurn it i; If. like an lnjun giver. you'd Not ask he, 10 return it
 -(Newark Advocate
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

As a general thing, the kind of man who is too good for the world hasn't got much of this worlds goods.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

imagine that if they let whisAey alone they are temperate.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

much that I wishes you was dead and laid out i'll every room in that hotel"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Mr. George Greet says We should not hate the Hun. P'raps we shouldn't but how are you gonna get around the fact that do?-(Macon Telegraph !
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

It has just about got so in this
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

The Prussian Minister who said Americans could neither fly swim may observe that they can cross the ocean in German steamers Philadelphia Record
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

o Boob, where is thy sting; Hatcher where is thy victoyy?-(Valdez Prospector)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

In many places Sulzer defeated Wickersham on the Republican ticket winch is returning good for evil.- (Valdez Prospector)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

A Maryland man, Capt. Charles Carroll.1 has won the cross of the Legion of Honor Some relation of Charles Carol Carrollton probably(St. Louis
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Names Is Names B. A. Ford lives at Peachland, N. c.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Our Daily Special

It Is Harder To Mount The Stool Of Repentance Than It Is To Climb The Ladder Of Fame!
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Of course, it is different now, bu ! year ago when you began talking O a married man about Libert, bonds he thought you were kidding him.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15

Investigate, and you will find
 They won't walk on d gravel roof.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-05-15
Flashlights
(philadelphia Record)

Philadelphia Record) Our idea of a model husband is )ne who would rather get his break 'ast in the garden than try to coax ais wife into the kitchen.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
Jake Schroeder Writes
to Voters

May 9. 1918
To the Republican Voters and
Citizens of Gillian County:
1t is with a feeling of deep re-
gret that | feel called upon to
make a denial of certain reports
which are being circulated for
political purposes to the effect
that | had given expression TO
pro German sentiments since the
beginning of this war.
| have been a resident of this
county for the past eighteen
years and l know that I am Just
as loyal and patriotic as any citi-
zen in this community and was
surprised indeed to learn that /
had an enemy capable of making
an accusation against me as ser
ious as this one. am inclined to
be charitable, however. and be-
lieve that it was thoughtlessness
on the part of the person who or
iginated the charge and I feel
sure that my friends and ac-
quaintances are absolutely con-
vinced of my loyalty to my coun-
try and its people.
Respectfully.
JAKE E. SCHROEDER.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
OLLIE RINEHART IS IN
IL BALLOON COMPANY

Oliver r. Rinehart sends a short let
Ter and copy Of his company paper.
He says: The frst copy Of our com.
pany paper 10 just of the press so ]
thought had better send you one.
Just got q letter from Frank Burns
and be says he 10 camped just a few
miles from Company q Of the i62nd but
hasn't had chance TO 20 over and see
any Of them yet, didn't think Frank
would get over there before did but
the drafted boys are beating US to it.
| think we will be here few months
yet but we may get orders TO pack up
tonight and leave within "a hours. The
army 10 one place where you can't tell
one minute what 10 going TO happen the
next. Il was raining this morning but
stopped about 10 o'clCck 30 we got q
chance To 20 out and try our luck with
the pick and shovel. was over at
Yorktown Sunday and / think Corn
wallis picked very nice place to sur
render. Norfolk is not bad place but
there are 90 many sailors there a soldier
feels lost. Hampton Roads is q fine
little place. Think l will 20 to Rich
mond next pay day and perhaps to
Petersburg. Thanks for the Globe. :"
Ollie is In the 18th Balloon Company
and their paper ia well named "T!.e
Observer. Il is very good paper
and contains good story Of the 18th
Company In which olIie's name Is men,
toned. He 10 q frst-class private.
This company has q great record ami
the paper says: "Since the 18th was
organized Il has been reported. rather
officially. that the kaiser has had sever.
al hsmorrhages and found It necessary
70 increase his quota Of personal physi.
clans"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
SUGAR TO Be ALLOWED
FOR CANNING PURPOSE

On May lst potatoes ceased to
be substitute for -four in 80 far
as purchases were concerned.
Persons with wheat holdings
are again cautioned to report the
amount Of their holdings before
May Is or they will be held to
accountability.
Merchants or consumers having
over a 30 days supply of -four
on hand should report the same
at once or they may meet trouble
ahead In making your estimates
the merchant will figure 70 per
cent of what he used in the cor.
responding period of last year.
The consumer will remember that
each person is allowed 6 pounds
per month.
For the purpose of canning
and preserving berries and fruit
persons will be permitted to pur.
chase 100 pounds of sugar at a
time. They must first sign an
affidavit that The sugar is 70 be
used for canning and preserving
aid for NO OTHER PURPOSE.
Later on they will be required to
make an itemized statement as
to just what disposition was
made with the sugar. This 100
pound regulation does not change
or alter the supply for family or
table use.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
ONE-FOURTH OF THRIFT
STAMPS Are SOLD NOW
By ]. C. Sturgill

| again call yonr atten tion 10
the fact that Gillian county's
apportionment Of Thrift and
War Savings Stamps is $82, 00O
or $40 for every man, woman
and child living within the bound
aries of the county. In fact the
apportionment per capita for the
entire nation is $50. Gillian
county thus far has sold $4,000
or about % per cent in the four
months So we must sell more
in the remaining eight months.
Each person in the county must
purchase on an average of at
least two dollars per month or
sixteen dollars worth between
now and January l.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
PUPILS OF LOST VALLEY
SCHOOL, ARE PATRIOTIC
By ]. C. Sturpill

The Arlington school was vis-
tied last week and everything
found to be in good working
order. Teachers and pupils are
taking quite an interest In the
sale of War Saving Certificates
and in Junior Red Cross work.
The school at Lost Valley re-
Gently gave a party at which $38
was secured for the purchase Of
necessary equipment. This school
has only three pupils SO they did
exceptionally well in securing
that amount of money.
May 16 and II are the regular
dates for the eighth grade exams
ination in the state. There will
be about GO pupils in this county
try this examination. Pupils
preparing for this test should re-
member that much time has been
devoted to war work and as the
questions are made up from the
actual work OF tine year they
should familiarize themselves
with the following activities.
Red Cross work, Thrift Stamp
sales. Liberty Loan drives and
Food Conservation.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
MOTHERS DAY TO Be
OBSERVED IN CONDON

Mothers Day will be observed
next Sunday morning both in the
Sunday School and at the church
services. There will be special
music. flowers and a sermon in
keeping with the purpose Of the
day. All mothers are invited
and special invitation is extend
ed to mothers CT soldiers. All
such will be regarded as guests
of honor next Sunday morning I.
Let every one come and pay low
ing tribute to our mothers.
The following resolution was
unanimously adopted at the meet
ing of the Sunday School last
Sunday morning: "We. the Of
ficers. teachers and members of
the Congregational Sunday
School. desire to express our
thanks to all who furnished con.
veyances and entertainment and
in other ways so generously con-
tributed to the success of our
annual picnic last Saturday"
On Friday evening. May "a.
there will be a Parcel Post Social
held in the church. Full partic
ulars next week.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
Parcel Post Social VIII
Be Good Time

You are cordially invited to at
tend the good time planned for
Friday evening, May "a. at the
Congregational church. Adults
are expected to bring q parcel
post package worth at least Is
cents and the younger folks will
bring packages worth Is cents.
These will be auctioned of later
in the evening. An admission
fee of 10 cents will be charged
aI the door but those who do NOT
bring packages will be charged
more. An interesting evening II
being planned.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
COUNCIL MEETING HERE
SATURDAY IS SUCCESS

One Of the most enthusiastic ans
beat attended Agricultural Council con
vshtions ever held In tho state Of Ore
gon was In session In Condon Saturday
Delegates from every part Of the coun
~ were In attendance and every branch
Of agriculture was represented. The
meeting was called 10 order by Supt.
Sturgill and W. ]. Edwards Of Mayvills
chosen temporary chairman. County
Agent J. G. Hawkins gave brief out
line Of the purpose Of the meeting.
II. c. Seymour outlined the plan Of the
Agricultural Council. Wallace Kadderly
emphasized the Importance Of organi.
astiop, Mrs. Jessie d. Mccomb gave a
brief talk on the Importance Of conser-
walton in the home and Supt Sturgill
spoke Of the Importance Of saving
wheat. A nominating committee was
appointed to select a president. vice
president and secretary-treasure and
4 committee was appointed TO draft
constitution and bylaws. After dinner
the meetings were taken up in separate
sections, the Club people 10 one section.
the Home Department In another and
the County Agent work In still another.
In the County Agent section ]. L.
Blalock Of Arlington WAS chosen TEN.
porary chairman and ]. &. Stnrgill
secretary. The following projects we're
discussed and plans adopted.
LABoR-The labor discussion was by
far the most interesting one Of the day.
A committee Of Ave TO meet with the
other committees from eastern Oregon
at Pendleton Juno 8 was appointed 40
follows; Jas. Cameron. A. WheeIhouse.
X. B. Clancy, L. e. Fowler and ]. A.
Smith. Rodent Control and Field Dem.
onstratlon were tho next projects dis
cussed. Under the head Of Grading
and Price Of Grain, Il was the sense Of
the meeting that the farmers want
their grain graded and the price fxed
at their local shipping point and also
want a Federal grain inspector for the
county. The committee selected to
work this out with the County Agent
Isl. A. Smith. c. r. Peugh and F. E.
Smith. The Executive Committee so.
lected for county agent work is Fred
Weatherford. J. W. Dyer and Oscar
Maley. II. F. Shanks was chosen to
head tho club work. Officers chosen
for county agent section were Sherman
Wade, president, and ]. Z. Sturgill.
seeretary-treasurer. After the section.
al meeting all gathered together, listen.
cd to the reading Of the constitution
and bylaws and adopted them as read.
Officers for the Council were then chos.
Ell as follows: w. J. Edwards, presi.
dent; Mrs. Phillip, vice presldent;C. II.
Horner, secretary.treasurer. In the
Home Economics committee meeting
MIF. ]. W. Dyer was chosen chairman
and Mrs. Wheelhouse secretary. MIRA.
Dyer, Mrs. Wheelhouse and Mrs. J. J.
Portwood were elected members Of
the executive committee. A program
of work wss outlined by MIRA. McComb
and adopted for this county.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10

In the matter of the petition Of Alma
Lauder for Gateway---Report Of Road
Viewers read for the first time May /.
1918. Report of Road viewers read
for the second time May 2. 1913. and
the gateway ordered opened as petit
toned for upon the payment by the
petitioner of the damages, and cost of
viewing etc.
In the matter of the petition of H, A.
Stewart ct al for county road.--Re-
port of viewers read May lst, 1918, and
approved and road ordered opened &C.
cording to report of viewers.
In the matter of the application of
Mrs. A. M. Crawford for cancellation
of certificate Of delinquency. .-Applica.
tion rejected.
In the mBtter of macadamizing coun-
ty road north from Condor, to D. S.
Browns corner-.- Ordered that the Dis
trict Attorney advise the County Court
as to the different methods of procedure
prescribed by law, for levying assess
ments for obtaining money for such
purposes.
In the matter of the petition of ]. H..
Knox ct al for county road down
Sniption canyon-- Ordered that the reg
ular Board of Read Viewers view said
route on May l5, 1918.
In the matter of the application of
s. B. Amis, for refund of tax paid
through error-.-Ordered that $7.O8 be
refunded.
In the matter of fixing wages for
men and teams for work on county
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
Graduation Exercises on
Thursday Night

. The commencement exercises
Of the outgoing class at the high
school will be held in the Congre.
gational church next Thursday
evening at 8 o'clock. The ad-
dress will be delivered by Prof.
Richards Of Willamette Univers.
ity. Everyone is invited to at.
tend. The program will be good
and there will be no charge.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1918-05-10
Wilburn Finishes Other
Wells in North End

H. II. Wilburn's well drills re-
Gently completed two good wells
in the north end of the county.
One was for S. Nj. Barnett on
the Low place and the other for
VIM. Davidson on the Mcffit place
on upper Eightmile. Mr.. David
son came to Gillian County last
spring from California and from
the showing he has made on
this farm is a valuable addition
to the county.