davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
Luke McLuke Saws

Wouldn't it be perfectly wonderful
if woman had as much confidence in
her husband as she has in her baby
Re careful what you say. A funny
crack often develops into a bad break.
When you are handing out medals for
Patience don't forget the Telephone
Girl and don't forget the Bartender,
Another damli: Once upon a time a
woman made a date to meet her hus-
band at o'clock, and she was there at
5 o'clock.
II man would listen to his con-
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
Old Sfo1.iea
zzzNeNnfpa
.Hns. Ne 1m~s Mzae
Twenty Years Ago.

A"Vhiy Av@ie hkos
The board of education last MI
after a session lasting until midni
made the appointments for the sch ,
year. Emerson school has the folio
ing c. +. Daley. principal, salary
per month; Mrs. Chambers, $40; N
NJ. Etter. $40; Miss Overstreet, 81
Mrs, b, Chinn, $40; Miss Bodine
Miss Blackwelder, $40; Mary Fox S
Daisey Scott, $40 Washington schol
J. NJ Holcomb, principal, salary $1
Mrs. F. Holcomb, $40; Mrs. Sang
$40; Miss Eagin, $40; Miss Alvey
Miss c. p. Scott $40, Mrs. Staff
$40; Miss Bensen S4S
Miss Fannie White Of Purcell is vi
ing Miss Lucy easier.
Mrs. J. II. Nichols returned to L
irgton yesterday after a short visit
the city
Fifteen Years Ago.
Hon Horace Speed of Guthrie
in the city yesterday
Mr. and Mrs. Charles NJ. Weir
| Omaha are new arrivals in the cityl
The first through train from MemI
over the Choctaw since the high wat
arrived yesterday afternoon about
o'clock,
+. f. Mason, a capitalist OF McCt
Kansas, purchased the fine residence
w. f. Ashby on West Eighth ST
yesterday.
Ten Years Ago.
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Paul have
their guests their daughter, Mrs. I'd
stein and Mrs George Goldberg
children OF Indiana, also Mrs. u
OF Kentucky
They will remain until after the VI
ding of Miss Julia Paul, which ts
place on the oath of this month,
Mr. and Mrs David McKinstry }
in Chicago Mrs, McKinstry's mot
Mrs Henry Herzer, who was their II
last week, accompanied them as fad
Wichita, Kansas.
George Gerson, who is in the Sd
tarium at Battle Creek, will be joi
by Mrs Gerson They will not red
until fall
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Dear Luke: The Val Duttenhofer
Sons Company. Of Cincinnati. is adver-
tising for "An experienced jollicr." |
don't know what the position pays hut
YOU are the right man for the job
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
Our Joe Miller Contest.

Our Joe Miller Contest.
SANDY" Hazen claims that the old
est joke is the one about the boy who
had been bad and who had to stay in
after school and write a composition
on punishment" The boy wrote this
"The boys father punished the boys
west end and the boy did not like the
punishment"
Tommy" said the teacher, what do
you mean by the boys west end? What
is boys west end?"
"The end the son sets on" replied
Tommy.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Now they say the Huns armed with razors, but wait
until colored troops get them Then the boche will
learn something OF the practical of that Afro American
argument
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Those American marines in France living up to the
standard of the American marine corps, which is high
praise for any fighting
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Three thousand Kansas City business men have en-
listed in the harvest army and the worlds largest collection
OF blisters will he on display in that city soon
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
oh

OF course, most doctors have a high
opinion Of themselves and do not mind
expressing it. But what we started to
say was that DR.. |. NJ. Perfect lives in
Columbus Ohio
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Fair Warning.
lta getting hot,
~ swat the fly;
II YOU do not.
He'll multiply;
Your food he'll rot.
And YOU will die
Luke McLuke,
Swat MFR. Fly,
But | aver
The race won't die
Unless we, sir,
Also apply
A swat to her.
Newark Advocate.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Doing good Ia my vocation"
Said the hustllng bunco man;
Though II causes aggrAvatlon,
stu, / must do all I can"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
Oh, Joyi

Mrs J. NJ. Hurt. of Battle, Maine, an
nounces that there isn't a thing the
matter with her
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

There have been many million dollar rains this
that it is difficult for farmer look downtrodden
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Life.
We travel In narrow rut
And seek the Goal each day
We don't know where we're going, hut
We know we're on our way
Luke MCLuke.
Nay. Luke, the road IL very wide
To those who see through mists
We rut II only when wo glide
On like astigmatistH.
--Sarcoxle (Mo) Record.
And Luke. | like the journey well,
Although ! do not know
My destination, hear me tell,
I'm In no haste to go.
Houston Post
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Buy thrift stamp every day and help to chase the Hun
away.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Lines Worth Remembering.
The recovery of freedom is so spl.
did thing that we must not shun az
death when seeking to recover II
Cicero. N
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
No Chance.

"In spite Of your republican form OF
government said the Foreigner 1T is
possible for a man in this country to
be rich enough to do exactly as he
pleases, Is it not2"
We'll" replied the American, ~ guess
II is. That is, provided he isn't mar
ried"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
Advice.

Think twice before you speak" said
Head.
Select each word and weigh n:
While you can leave thing unsaid,
My son, you cant unBAy H."
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Copyright 1918 by n. c. Fisher. Trade
Mark Registered U. S. Patent offles0
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

Friend. no vacation spot IN finah,
Why not try Happy. Moth Ca'linah1
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08

"Oh, well" said the Old Fogy mo
news is good news"
Not TO the gossip, it isn't" remarked
the Crouch.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-08
The Wise Fool

The camera cannot lie" observed
the Sage
a, that sol" commented the Fool.
Did you ever have an amateur photog-
rapher take your pictureI"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

LOO cows, and like cows owned In any
other community some are good, others
bad, and the remainder Indifferent.
The herds have represented a similar
variety of breeding, but from now on
all must be good cows and of the rec
ognized breed to be worthy Of place
in the herds on this island.
Some time ago representatives OF the
the Wisconsin Live Stock Breeders
association and the College of Agri-
culture held a meeting on the island
and initiated a campaign for the i'm
provement of its herds. The farmers
then agreed TO use only Holstein sires
in their herds, to have all the cattle on
the island regularly tuberculln tested,
and, by means of local COW testing
association, keep a record of produc-
ton of each COW in the herds.
This project has already served to
stimulate another on Madeline island
in Lake Superior, which is similarly
situated to Washington island 1t Is
very likely that Madeline island will
become a center for the Guernsey
breed
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
WORTH KNOWING

The residents of Ni1daline island, Off
the northeastern coast of Bayfield,
county, are planning a second Guern-
sey island. They have agreed to keep
only this breed of dairy cattle, and
this summer have purchased three
more purebred sires for the use of the
dairymen Of the island. A petition
has been circulated to have all the
cattle tested for tuberculosis and all
herds freed from disease.
Small investment. low labor costs,
and feed gathered largely from the
garbage pail are reasons why you can
raise poultry and eggs more cheaply
than the big poultry farmer.
IL you haven't tried a sandwich of
barley or rye bread and cottage
cheese, with lettuce leaf and salad
dressing. you don't know how really
easy it Is to do without wheat and
meat.
A water system on the farm may be
used every day IN the year. Isn't such a
machine better investment than one
that you use only week or two dur
ing the year? And 1t doesn't cost as
much. either.
Legislation plus public opinion is the
most effective combination against the
tramp dog. An unmuEzled dog allowed
% wander where ne may is menace
TO the farmers flock and thereby to the
townsmSa's warmth and comfort.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

and finally drive him beyond the Rhine
and TO ultimate surrender The i'm
precision became deep-seated among
those who have studied the war that
tn brave Englisamen and Frenchmen,
weary of four years warfare, needed
just whae the American troops could
give them for tile necessary dash and
hustle to heat tack the Germans and
to start a movement which means ulti-
mate success for world civilization.
Consequently all official Washington.
and particularly those who have given
close attention to everything pertaining
to the war, we're very nuch gratihed
and really felt that american troops
had performed that which was expect
ed of them.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

Henry's mother was explaining
some of the reasons why he should be
a good boy at all times. Among other
things she told him that he had only
one life to live and one chance here
on earth to be good.
well. mother said Henry, Il think
we should have mo chances"
NO Henry; God gives us just one
chance and we must try very hard TO
be just as good as we can be-.
"Well." replied the boy. Il think we
should have two chances. Now. who
do you think is right. mother. God on
me?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

There are states and regions in this
country which will have to make a
special effort to meet the Fourth Lib
crty loan tu the extent that they did
not in regard to the other loans These
states which are producing little or
nothing. and are getting none of It
back" as the saying is in regard TO
money at the present time. will have
to make sacrifices 10 subscribe very
heavily for the next loan. AS Sena-
tor Sm0ot of Utah remarked. his state
has already paid. in Liberty loans.
Red Cross and war savings. more
than $44,0OO,O00. which is 500 for
every man, woman and child in the
state. Smoot said that as scarcely
anything was being returned to the
state ON account of the war this
money was a drain which could not
be replaced. AT the same time IL is
expected that everybody Will do his
level best to make the next loan "A
success.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

its dairymen are planning TO make OF
the island one of Americas very great
est centers of "Black and White" cat
tie.
Like the men who live upon the is
lands of Guernsey and Jersey in war
ridden English Channel, the Washing
ton Islanders have agreed to keep but
one breed and will seek to build up
reputation for healthy and high pro-
ducing herds of their chosen kind.
The little island with its Michigan
wave-washed shores now supports
population of one thousand of which
scarcely 100 are farmers, who own
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
J0TTINGS

Mexico forbids the employment Of
children under twelve In industry.
A Cincinnati CO.. shoe concern adj
vertises as follows: Take Eleva-
tor-Pay Cash-Carry 1t Home
Save So"
Official reports made by some ma
tionaI hanks in the Northwest TO the
comptroller Of the currency show that
many bank directors In that section
cannot write their names. and so use
a mark.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

Virginia labor unions demand free
school books.
James Ham, a farmer near Wealth
eriy, Pa. used large Holstein bull
as mate for his horse In his spring
blowing.
Women Of England virtually have
assumed charge of public utilities and
have invaded the police and fire de
partmentS.
There is a dearth OF laborers in
Mayo, Ireland. owing to the exodus OF
men to England TO work In the NUM-
ton factories,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
With Self Eornot

Greatness is achieved. not by direct
and eager chase, but while we are look.
ing for something else. II is the little
things we get by hot endeavor. The
great things come TO US. as il were
around corner. We never become
beautiful. or eloquent. or popular. or
happy. or intellectual. or even good. by
hard labor. Whatever we get of such
things will come TO US when we are
most self-forgetful, and most absorbed
in the service of our kind.-Edward
JudsOn.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
Spraying LOGS.

AS safety measure. logs at a North
western mill are given a vigorous
spraying under several jets of water
before going to the saw. The reasor
for this process is that bits Of rocS OF
gravel may become attached 10 thu
bark of the log while ii is being trans
ported to the mill, and II the swiftly re
volving saw strikes one of these Oh
struetions trouble i likely to follow
Tie abrupt checking of a circular saw
may cause il To ly in a score ri piseef
that are hurried in every 81 e' tea iik'
a burst OF shrapneL
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

verified dripping pan one inch apart
Spread into circular shape with case
knife dipped In cold water. Bake In
moderate oven until delicately
Drowned. To give variety use two
thirds eupful rolled oats and fill cup
with shredded coconut.
Stuffed Baked Heart.
remove veins and cords of calf or
beef heart. soak and clean. Stuff with
dressing made of one cupful cold
boiled rice, one teaspoonful chopped
onion, one teaspoonful chopped pars-
ley, one tablespoonful fat (beef suet).
salt and pepper. Place slices of salt
pork or beef suet across heart
sprinkle with salt and pepper and cook
slowly in covered roasting pan one and
one-half to two hours. About one cup
full of water should be placed in the
bottom of the pan to be used for
basting. During the last half remove
cover and brown the meat.
Rice Lemon Pudding.
one-half cupful rice. one quart milk.
SOiAS VI wv SSsS, lANee-ioull ms Sup
full sugar, grated rind and juice Of two
lemons, one-fourth teaspoonful salt.
Cook rice in milk until soft. Use
double boiler. Add, while hot, the egg
yolks, sugar, lemon rind and salt. Cook
five minutes and add lemon juice.
Make a meringue by beating whites
of two eggs until very stiff; add two
tablespoonfuls of sugar and place on
top of pudding. Brown in moderate
oven. Serve cold.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
Barber sIarss Customer.

This stuff about the talkative barber
is all wrong, 1t appears. A barber
writes Seattle Post-Intelllgencer pro-
testing against further misrepresen-
tation. 1t is the customer who insists
upon opening his heart. he writes, and
the poor barber is Obliged TO listen to
az manner of confidential patter. home
troubles scandals. and occasionally the
customer spills bum tip on the stock
market and the barber goes broke. II
is this latter contingency that impels
him 20 protest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

An elderberry wine has beer invent
ed in Germany that = so r .eh like
grape wine that it can be used as an
adulterant of it.
Examination of various Trustworthy
records has convinced scientists that
there has been no appreciable change
In the climate OF northern Europe in
l 500 years.
Experts of the department Of ag-
riculrure have developed a machine
which peels all kinds Of citrus fruit
without il being necessary to sort the
fru!s for size first.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
PoSTSCRlPTS

Fuel oil that works in engines OF
certain types is being produced in Swe.
den from shale and slate.
A British hospital for crippies is *
perimenting with electrically heated
mattresses for keeping beds at even
temperatures.
A ratent has been issued for Ia
HE electric fountain which pumps wa
ter up through perforated rings that
are revolved above lamps OF varl-
Gus colorS
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

While their brothers are lighting The
battle of liberty on the front in France
the women of England are seeking to
speed the cause to victorious finish
by working night and day in munition
factories to turn out hundreds of thou
sands of war weapons. This picture
shows a woman worker in one of Eng
lands largest factories. acatylene weld
ing the bodies of aerial bombs.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
Mistaken Identity.

cleopatra Cleopatra I" called
Mary, who liked big names for her
pets.
"Why. I thought your cats name
was Napoleon" protested the visitor.
"He was Napoleon till he had his
kittenA.' affirmed Mary stOutly.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
TURN THEIR ISLAND
INTO A BIG PASTURE

ASHINGTON Is
land is being
placed on Amer
ica's live stock
map.
A | t h o u g h
scarcely equal In
size to an ordi-
nary township
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
An Apology for Sarcasm.

"Are sarcastic people ill-naturedT"
Not always" replied Miss Cayenne.
Sometimes what seems sarcasm is a
generous effort to be euphemistic in
stating a necessary fact"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

II was Vice President Marshall who
once remarked to a Republican sena-
tor after the late Senator Newlands
had made an assault upon the actions
and policies of the Democratic party.
that he (MarshalD believed that
"Newlands Is the original fat boy who
spilled the beans" Probably in these
later days the vice president would
he willing to transfer his remark to
the blind senator from Oklahoma,
Early in his speech criticising the
veto by the president of the $2.40
wheat proposition Senator Gore re-
marked: eff the next congress goes
Republican it will be due 20 this veto
message"
That remark caused deal Of critl-
cism among Senator Cores party as
sociates. Quite a number of senators
and representatives OF wheat growing
districts have in their minds the pos
sibility that the veto may work some
harm, but none of them believes that
il was good idea 10 advertise the
fact.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

Thousands of women are being en-
ployed in France TO make war bal
looms.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

was lived before the war.
Countless recipes for war dishes are
being printed in the newspapers, mag
azines and war pamphlets. Some Of
the recipes have been thoroughly test
ed and are reliable; some are worse
than useless, for, as the housewife
discovers on trying them. they do not
result in satisfactory products and
they waste food materials.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
KEEPING UP
WITH HOOVER

HAT shall we eat
on wheatless aud
meatless days?
Cook books are
in nearly every
kitchen. but these
do not supply the
answer. These
are suited to con-
ditions of life as
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

result in satisfactory products and
they waste food materials.
n-fs-A-t-Es-IS-fts a-fz-Et-ss-tt-t-ts
2 The soldiers need wheat. The r
y folks at home can use corn, oats, \
rice, barley and potatoes.
p-1S-Et-St-St-Si-' 1S<-I1-s1-st-
Transportation needs make II de-
sirable that home supplies be used as
much as possible and practicable and
that the most concentrated foods
(those that furnish the largest amount
OF energy in the smallest space) be
saved for shipment to the armies In
the camps and at the front The pres
ent shortage of wheat, sugar, fats and
certain meats and the possibility of
continued shortage make the saving
Of these foods of special Importance.
Here are the menu and recipes for
single wheatleSs day which may
serve as a guide in planning for other
days:
Breakfast.
Fruit
Homlny grits. with top milk
Cornmeal mullins
Coffee
Milk. for children.
Lunch or Supper.
Scotch broth
HOecakes
Stewed prunes
Oatmeal macaroOns.
Dinner.
Stuffed baked heart
Mashed potatoes
Buttered carrots
Rice lemon pudding.
cornmeaI Mullins.
One cupful sour milk. One-half tea
spoonful soda dissolved in one tea
spoonful water, one tablespoonful
sugar one tablespoonful fat, three tea
spoonfuls baking powder. one egg one
half teaspOonful salt and one and a
half cupfuls cornmeal. Combine as for
mullins and bake in small muffin tins
for 20 minutes.
Scotch Broth.
Three pounds mutton from fore
quarter, two quarts cold water, one
half tablespoonful salt, one-fourth tea
spoonful pepper, carrots and turnips,
one-half cupful each cut In small
cubes, four tablespoonfuls barley flour,
three tablespoonfuls pearled barley.
one small onion. Wash meat, remove
skin and fat and cut in small pieces ::
add water. seasOnings. vegetables, bar
ley and barley -four mixed with little
Geld water. Cook slowly from six to
eight hours. As wafer evaporates add
enough to make up for that lost by
evaporation.
Hoecakes.
One pint cornmeal, two tablespoon
fuls shortening, one pint milk, one-haIf
teaspoonful salt, three teaspOonfuls
baking powder. Scald milk in double
boiler, mix cornmeal with a little cold
water, add to milk and cook 20 min
Utes, stirring frequently. Add salt and
shortening and cool; add baking pow
der. Form into round flat cakes and
cook In a hot oven until delicately
Drowned (abour 80 minutes).
Oatmeal Macaroons.
One egg, One-half cupful sugar two
cnirds tablespoonful melted fat, one
cupful rolled oats, one-third teaspoon
full salt, one-fOurth teaspoonful va
nilla. Beat egg until light. add sugar
gradually and then stir in remaining
ingredients. Drop mixture by tea
spoonfus on q thoroughly creased in
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21

Senator Fletcher of Florida Just be-
fore the recess was trying to get
through a bin 10 which Senator Pen
rose OF Pennsylvania made some OBJ
lection. and after some discussion the
PENNSYLVANIA Senator remarked I:
with great reluctance l withdraw my
objection. I have voted for so many
questionable measures in the last six
months perhaps one more will not
weigh upon my conscience nor require
a greater reckoning on the day of judg-
ment"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-21
Oatmeal Macaroons.

One egg, one-half cupful sugar, two
Gairds tablespoonful melted fat, one
cupful rolled oats, one-third teaspoon
full salt, one-fOurth teaspoOnful va
nilla Beat egg until light. add sugar
gradually and then stir in remaining
ingredients. Drop mixture by tea
spoonfuls on a thoroughly creased in