Williams news., 1918-07-12

butted in.
 f'E@ Tn Tommy's eyes lance corporal is one degree below a private. In the corporaIs eyes he is one degree above a general. He ordered me to go with him and help him draw the next days rations, also told me to take my waterproof.
 Every evening, from each platoon or machine-gun section, lance corporal and private go to the quartermaster sergeant at the company stores and draw rations for the following day.
 The 'quarter," as the Quartermaster sergeant is called, receives daily from the orderly room (captain's office) a slip showing the number of men en- titled to rations, so there Is no chance of putting anything over on him. Many arguments take place between the quarter" and the platoon noncom, but the former always wins out. Tommy says the "quarter" got his job because he was a burglar in civil life. Then I spread the waterproof sheet on the ground. while the quartermas- ter's batman dumped the rations on 1t. The corporal was smoking a flag. I carried the rations back to the billet. The corporal was still smoking a flag. How envied him. But when the issue commenced my envy died. and real ized that the first requisite of a nom commissioned officer on active service is diplomacy. There were 10 men in our section. and they soon formed a semicircle around us after the corporal had called out, "Rations up."
 The quartermaster sergeant had given a slip to the corporal on which was written a list of the rations. Sit- ting on the floor, using a wooden box as a table, the issue commenced. On the left of the corporal the Eations were piled. They consisted of the fol- lowing:
 Six loaves of fresh bread, each loaf of different size, perhaps one out of the six being as fiat as pancake, the result of an army service corps man placing a box of bully beef on it dur ing transportation.
 Three tins of jam, one apple and the other two plum.
 Seventeen Bermuda onions, all diff ferent sizes.
 piece of cheese in the shape of a wedge.
 Two One-pound tins of butter.
 A handful of rafsins.
 A tin of biscuits, or as Tommy calls them flaw breakers"
 A bottle of mustard pickles.
 The "bully beef," spuds, condensed milk, fresh meat, bacon and 'Macono- chic rations'' Ca can filled with meat, vegetables and greasy water), had been turned over to the company cook to make stew for next days dinner. He also received the tea, sugar, salt, pep per and four.
 Scratching his head, the corporal studied the slip issued to him by the quarter. Then iA a slow, mystified voice he read out, "No. 1 section. 19 men. Bread, loaves, six" He looked puzzled and soliloquized in a musi1g voice:
 ''Six loaves, nineteen men. Let's see, that's three in loaf for fifteen men well, to make 1t even, four of you'll have to muck in on one loaf"
 The four that got stuck made howl, but to no avail. The bread was dished out. Pretty soon from far corner of the billet, three indignant Tommies ac- costed the corporal with:
 "What do you call this, loaf of bread? Looks more like sniping plate."
 The corporal answered.:
 "Well, don't blame me, I didn't bake 1t; somebody's got to get 1t, so shut up until I dish out these blinkin' ra- tions." +., f4. rl~-~ l
 Then the corporal started on the jam.
 "Jam, three uns-apple one, plum two. Nineteen men, three tins. Six in @ tn makes twelve men for two tins. seven in the remaining tin-"
 He passed around the jam, and there was another riot. Some didn't like apple, while others who received plum were partial to apple. After a while differences were adjusted and the issue went on.
 Bermuda onions. seventeen" ! The corporal avoided a row by say ing that he did not want an onion, and I said they make your breath smell, so I guessed I would do without one too. The corporal looked his gratitude.
 "Cheese, pounds, two."
 The corporal borrowed a jackknife (corporals are always borrowing), and sliced the cheeSe-each slicing bring ing forth a pert remark from the on- lockers as to the corporaPs eyesight.
 "Raisins, ounces, eight"
 By this time the corporals nerves had gone west, and in despair he said that the raisins were to be turned over to the cook for "duff' Opium pudding). This decision elicited little "grous- ing" but quiet was finally restored.
 Biscuits, tins, one"
 With his borrowed jackknife, the corporal opened the tin of biscuits, and told everyone to help themselves-no- body responded to this invitation,