davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03
PUPILS SHOW HUMoR.
Display Funny Antics and Say coml-
cal Thinas in School.

Display Funny Antics and Say coml-
cal Things in School.
There is more humOr in the school
room than in the the press or theater,
someone has said. A slight exaggera-
tion, maybe, but the humor uf tile
school room is usually exceptional in
its character; "for from the school
room," as one writer has put it, "as
from the nursery, humor comes pure
and undefiled; it droppeth like the
gentle dew from heaven, untouched
by artificiality, unmarried by strain or
stress"
The Tennessee youth who describ-
ed volcano as a mountain where
the worlds busts through" and the
crater as "the place where iJ sDits
out" had his facts, though he clothed
them in somewhat unusual terms.
There was picturesqueness, too, in the
small boys description of a natural
history museum as "a dead circus"
And joy was brought to the heart OF
Mark Twain by the sentence, There's
great many donEeys in theological
gardens"
Sometimes, of course, the pupil will
come to grief, especially in cases
when one is asked to define IL word
and then use it. One attempt ran
thus, "Desp2t--a ruler that is 'earcd.
Me teacher swatted me wild her ,es-
pot."-Tit-Bits.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03

Speaking OF women's compilations,
seeing isn't always believing.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03
The Farmer Slicker
Sticks a City Pair
Foxy iowa AaricuIturist is Arrested In
Chicago for Trimming Two
WouId.Be Soil TiIlers

WouId-Re Soil TiIlers
Down on the farm at Cherokee, Iowa,
Alexander Erlick read the city papers
apd found out all about the foxy
slickers" who lie in wait for the inno-
cent ;sarmer.
Suddenly the Big Idea struck Alecls,
and all during that night he even smil-
ed in his sleep. Next morning Alecls
rubbed "a little hayseed in his hair, put
on his best pair of rawhide top boots.
packed the old carpet-bag and went to
Chicago to meet some affable stranger
who would take him down to the lake
front to see the German submarines
come up for air.
Helmet Thomas Pieske and Nicholas
Kircigesner in a saloon near the stock
yards. He waited patiently, but they
did not offer to sell him the Logan
monument or the Masonic Temple, SO
he offered them jobs down on the
farm.
Hard work? Early rising? Oh, no,
indeed. That was in the olden days,
but not now. All the modern farm
hand has to do is drive the automobile
down to the general store for fresh
eggs for breakfast, count the money
left by the commission merchant on
his daily visit and then dress up and
take the neighbors' girls out riding.
Aleck explained to the two city men.
Pieske and Kirchgesner decided that
"down with the COWS and chickens"
was the life for them. and each handed
Aleck $40 for railroad fare to Cherokee
and then went home to have their suits
pressed and their shoes shined.
When next they met Aleck he gave
them the cold shoulder. Don't know
you feilers from a pair Of Masasawgy
Indians" he is reported to have told
them. They had him arrested as
"bunco man"
You ought to be ashamed of your
SELF" Police Captain German told Err
lick. when farmers come to town
they are expected to let the city fell
lers' get their pocketbooks, but see
what you have done. All the comic
papers will have to go out of business
right away"
Score one for the farmer-also two
for the city slickers.
John Severson worked as a farm
hand In North Dakota for twenty years
and succeeded in saving enough money
to buy ticket back to his old home
ip Sweden. He arrived in Chicago on
his way to New York to board y steam
er. Two men stopped him in the Dear
born street depot and confided that
they had carload of horses which
they were shipping to the German
army. They needed some money to
pay the freight to New York. John
lent them 500 for ar. hour or two. At
nightfall he started back for North Da-
kota to work for another twenty years.
Rudolph Kruger of Cleveland stood
In the Grand Central depot holding :.
handkerchief. A policeman approach
ed him with broad smile on his face.
Two men told me looked like a
well-to-do." explained Rudolph, land
said they wanted me to hold their
money. Then"
Enough" interrupted the police
man. How much did you con-
tribute?"
81 placed $50 in the handkerchief
here. IL that is what you mean," replied
Kruger. "See," he continued, opening
the handkerchief, they each put in
5000 and"
Brown paper.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03
WONDERS IN ARTIFICIAL LIMBS.
Genius Promises False Feet With Toes
That Wieele-Hands With
Serviceab;e Finoers.

William Henderson of Mount Cobb,
Ua., farmer. blacksmith, off and on,
and maker of artificial legs, believes
he has fortune in sight through his
latest Improvement. wooden leg
whose foot has toes that move and
wiggle as freely as the toes of the nat
rral foot.
Following an incentive gained from
the conditions prevailing in war-rip.
ped Europe where the demand for ar.
tifcial limbs is tremendous, Hender-
son has evolved p working model
which has socket. heel and this with
the jointed toes, eliminates all the old
marks, the maker asserts, of the other
kind of wooden feet. The appliance
is made of willow, turned out by hand,
and according to the designer, it is
SO near the real thing that the move
ment OF the toes has the tendency to
wear holes in the socks.
Henderson is also worNiEG on an
Improved artificial hand with movable
fingers. He has progressed so far
with his patent that the fingers now
love at the first joint. He expects
to perfect the hand to degree that
win give the wearer the same usage
as the natural hand. The designer
rlans to make the hand grip and
clutch articles of some weight. and
TO be so useful that the fingers will
be able to tie cravet or button a
collar. which he says is the supreme
test.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03
{ asy Enough

Old Gentleman (dictating an indig-
nant letter)-"Sir. my shorthand ty-
pist. being lady. cannot take down
what l think of you; being a gen.
tleman cannot say It; but you. being
nsither. can easily guess nay
thoughts"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03

Too many men who run into debt
don't even attempt to crawl out.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03

One must strive in these war times
to keep away from the dark and
somber clothes and to help the wom-
an who has dark suit or frock fash
ion has designed colored neckwear.
This black and white checked collar
is something very new and dashing.
1t is tailored model of silk finished
with fold of white piuue.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1918-10-03

The price of liberty often depends
on the humor of the Judge.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18

For Amendment No. 13
 Against Amendment No. 13. For Amendment No. IA
 Against Amendment No. IA. For Amendment No. 15.
 Against Amendment No. 15. Said election shall be held at the several voting precincts as now es- tablished and by the judges and clerks in the several townships as stated below, appointed by and who will make returns of same to the Board of Election Commissioners of Lee County, Arkansas, as required by law.
 Voting Precincts and Places Independence Township at Court House
 Marianna, first ward at Commercial Club Office.
 Marianna, second ward, at City Hall.
 Marianna, third ward, at Lee Coun- ty Milling Go.
 Richland Township, first precinct at La Grange.
 Richland, second precinct at Rondo. Spring Creek Township, first pre- cinct at Aubrey.
 Spring Creek Township, second pre- cinct at Hunters Store at Vineyard. Hampton Township at Moro. Big Creek Township at Langston's store.
 Oak Forrest Township at Oak For rest store.
 Fleener Township at Prairie Chapel Union Township at Haynes. Texas Township at Gill.
 Liberty Township at Soudan store. St. Francis Township at Raggio. Council Township at Council. Walnut Township at Whitehall. Bear Creek Township at Beau champs store.
 Hardy Township at Phillips Bayou. The polls will open at o'clock a. m. and close at 6:30 o'clock D. m. All mills, shops and factories in Lee county and the State of Arkan- sas are required by law to close down on election day, or exchange their working forces not later than 4 D. m., on election day, so that all employees who are legally entitled to do so may vote.
 Given under my hand this the l4th day of October; 1918.
 ARTHUR COTTER,
 Sheriff of Lee County
The courier-index., 1918-10-18

Notice is hereby given that by v1r- tue of the authority vested in me by the constitution and laws of the state of Arkansas, I do hereby proclaim and make known to all legal voters in Lee county, that an election will be held at the usual voting places in Lee County, Arkansas, on
 Tuesday, November 5, 1918 for the purpose of electing national, state, district, county and township officials, as follows, to-wit:
 National Officer One United States Senator. State Officers Governor.
 Secretary of State. Auditor of State. Treasurer of State. Attorney General
 Superintendent of Public Instruc- tion.
 One Associate Justice of the Su- preme Court.
 Commissioner of State Lands. Commissioner of Mines, Manufac- lures and Agriculture. Congressman.
 Railroad Commissioner.
 District Officers Circuit Judge. Prosecuting Attorney.
 County Officers Representative in General Assem- bly,.
 County and Probate Judge. Circuit Clerk.
 County Clerk.
 Sheriff and ex-officio Collector of the Revenues. Treasurer.
 Assessor.
 Coroner
 Surveyor.
 Superintendent of Schools.
 Township Officers Three Justices of the Peace in h. dependence township. Two Justices of the Peace in each of the other townships comprising Lee county.
 One constable for each township. And at which time and places in the various townships and in the wards of the City of Marianna all legal voters may vote For or against Road Tax.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18

dicinal virtues are vastly improved the doctors and druggists are claim ing that Calotabs are the ideal rem edy to abort a cold over night and cut short an attack of sore throat or la grippe. They are also finding it most effective as the first step in the treatment of pneumonia.
 One Calotab on the tongue at bed time with a swallow of water-that's all No salts, no nausea nor the slightest interference with your eat ing or your work and pleasure. The next morning your cold has vanished and your whole system is purified and refreshed. Calotabs are sold only in original sealed packages; price thirty-five cents. Your drug gist recommends and guarantees them by refunding the price if you are not delighted.-Adv.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18
FOR COLDS AND GRIPPE DOCTORS
 FIND REMEDY

Physicians and druggists are elat- ed over the fact that they have at last found a genuine and dependable remedy for colds, sore throat, influ- enza and la grippe. For years they have depended chiefly on the old style calomel, which is certainly fine but unfortunately many people would not take it because of its nau- seating and dangerous qualities.
 Now that the pharmaceutical chem ists have perfected nausealess cal omel, called "Calotabs," whose me
The courier-index., 1918-10-18
DANGER SIGNALS
 OF BAD BLOOD

Pimples on the face, punches on the neck, sallow and swarthy com plexion, sores, ulcers, mucous patch es. copper colored spots, scaly skin affections, constipation, inactive liver dyspepsia and stomach troubles are common symptoms of poisoned blood There is no remedy offered to the nnblic today that has so successfully cured these diseases as Number 40 for the Blood" An old doctors pre- scription containing the most reliable alternatives known to medical sci ence.
 Put up by J. c. Mendenhall, Evans vile Ind. 40 years druggist.
 Sold by P. R. Turner Drug Co.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18
cARELEssNEss RESULTS IN
 FAILURE

That is why we say Feed B. A. Thomas's Hog Powder according to directions DO NOT FEED TT SLOPPY. but mix 1t with ground feed and moisten with just enough water to make a crumbly mass. Then each hog gets a beneficial dose. See full directions on package. Your money back if you are not satisfied. Sold by M. D. Daggett, Marianna, and Moro Drug Co., Moro.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18
ELECTION PROCLAMATION

General Election for National, State, County, District and Township Of ficers to be Held on Tuesday, Nov. 5, 1918.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18

too much don't seem to realize how much fun expecting is.-Columbus Ohio State Journal.
The courier-index., 1918-10-18

Our calm and conservative students of the situation who keep warning us in their solemn way not to expect
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
WILLIE FINALLY SAW LIGHT
But II Took Great Blow to Make Him
Realize Why Everybody Hated
the Kaiser.

1t had been very difficult 10 inn
press little Willie with the serious
ness of the war situation. He could
not exactly understand why the people
should all hate the kaiser so. but of
course he hated him as a matter of
principle because his father hated him,
and his big brother hated him, and
well. almost everybody else he knew
hated him.
"But why, mother, do they hate him
so awful much?" he would persist.
The family couldn't explain it to him
satisfactorily.
June came. and the close of school,
and all was rosy for little Willie. Now
he was looking forward to the Fourth
of July.
But few days before the great day
a notice came around that there would
not be any fireworks, not even torpe-
does, or little mandarins, or 'son-of-
a-guns." This was awful news.
why not, mother?" he pouted.
"Well, you see the kaiser is getting
all the powder in this country now
and we can't waste it,"
Now little Willie say why everybody
hated the kaiser.
81 wisht l was old" he concluded
"and then, beware old kaiser PIN
dianapolis News.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
BREAD MADE WITHOUT SUGAR
Two Processes Said to Have Been
Worked Out by Milling Company
of Kansas City.

A method of making bread with
neither sugar nor malt has been
worked out by a milling company OF
Kansas City, according to the Bakers
Helper This process uses germ mid
dlings, which are ordinarily sold for
live stock food. Seven pounds OF
germ middlings are weighed out for
use with 100 pounds of flour, placed
In a vessel and scalded with water.
After it has stood for short time
the residium is strained out, and the
water is used in making up the
dough, adding as much water as Is
necessary. Sponge made in this way
without the use of sugar or malt
shows an increased expansion, with
loaf of fine texture and exceptional
flavor, a trifle whittier than when
sugar is used in baking. The process
has been perfected III the milling
company's laboratory, and is now be-
ing applied commercially. Another
process consists in taking per cent
of the flour to be used in the bread
batch and let it stand for several
hours in five times it's volume Of wa
ter, at a uniform temperature of 100
degrees. This makes sugar unnec-
essary, but does not dispense with
the desirability of using malt.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
Not a Comic Sheet Boy.

A Cleveland young woman has a
ten-year-old brother who is wise be-
yond his years and is likely TO crop
out in new places at the most unex-
pected times. The other night the
anxious sutton called on his manor
alta, arriving at her domicile little
before he was expected. She was not
ready 20 make her appearance, and the
duty of entertaining the caller de-
volved upon the little brother,
well. Bobby" began the young man
in an effort TO make conversation and
at the same time to put his involun.
tary host at his ease, docs your sis
ter think that am calling at the house
oftener than ! am welcomeT'
The child looked keenly al the call.
er. Nothing doing" he said DO
you think I'm one of these fresh kids
you read about in the funny papers
There amt going to be no embarrass'
ing answer this time"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
WAR NOTES FOR
BADGER FARMERS

A big potato crop is the hest insur-
ance against hunger and famine.
After all dairying was the industry
that really MADE Wisconsin famous.
We need to raise potatoes and to
sell potatoes, but most of all we need
10 eat potatoes.
Boost Wisconsin loyalty. Eat Wis
consin potatoes, save Wisconsin wheat,
helm send wheat to Wisconsin soldiers.
The Irish earned the name of the
fighting people of the world-and the
Irish diet has often been milk and pO-
tatoes.
But a very few of the tests used in
determining and improving the quality
of dairy products have been developed
outside of Wisconsin.
A back yard is large enough for e
successful poultry flock.
VIII the recording angel ever be able
TO find the soul of the man who
wouldn't give up wheat when another
man was willing to give up his life?
II is unfortunate that the name Of
the first man or woman TO practice
keeping dairy animals is not known
in order that we might do him or her
honor.
A few weeks ago three dairymen
from far away New Zealand came 10
Wisconsin for inspection; they were
lured by the names of Henry, Hoard
and Babcock.
If your allied brother can get along
on short rations Of wheat and It's sub
stitutes, can you get along without
wheat but plenty Of substitutes, espc-
cially potatoes?
The greatest factor in safeguarding
the health and nutrition Of the m0s+
progressive nations Of the world ma,
fairly be said to be the prevalence of
the consumption OF dairy products.
We cannot ship potatoes In quantity.
but we can ship wheat. Let Is eat
potatoes ~ home and ship our y heat
to the men abroad. Every potato We
eat releases wheat for the boy IA
France
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
Watch Your Stomach
In the Summer Time

it is good news to tell you that
tens of thousands are now using
EATONIC-for all stomach and
bowel ailments caused by too
much acidity with such truly won
derful results that every one
should always have it in the house.
EATONIC Tablets stop the cause of
indigestive and dyspeptic ailments by
neutralizing the poisonous fluids, acids
and gases largely the result of super
acidity. This makes the stomach
pain-free and ready to perform its
proper work.
You can have good appetite in hot
weather to eat the things you like
when you want them if you take one
or two EATONIC Tablets after each
meal. Such quick, wonderful relief
would seem unbelievable but for the
fact that thousands of sufferers every
where have received marvellous results
from EAT0NIC. Obtain large box
of EAT0NIC Tablets from your own
druggist who you know and can trust.
II they fail, go back to him and he will
gladly refund your moneys Do this
today. You will then know what real
stomach comfort means in hot weather.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07

Hot summer days upset the
strong stomachs as well as weak
ones.
Your vital forces reach their
lowest level when the weather is
the hottest. Then the danger is
the greatest.
You can't guard your stomach
and bowels too carefully through
the long, hot season. Don'SS take
any chance. Indigestion, sour
stomach, that wretched, bloated
feeling, belching, food repeating,
pains that claw at stomach and
bowels and an endless train of
stomach ills that make life mis-
cradle are greatly aggravated in
the hot weather,
This year of all others-it is
vital that we keep our strength
and full power at work. The ex-
ira war work, change of diet-all
must be looked after because they
hit US in the stomach. And now
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
WHEN VISITORS
COME UNAWARE S
BY NELLIE MAXWELL, Department
of Farmers institute of the Univer-
sIty Of Wisconsin.


slty of Wisconsin.
Unless you are housewife and have
experienced that same "all gone" feel
ing. you cannot appreciate what really
happens sometimes when company
comes within few minutes of meal
time. There are times when it just
seems that there is not enough of any
thing 10 go around.
OF course. there is but one thing 10
do-make the best Of It. If the visit
Ors are from town, few crisp slices
of well Drowned salt pork which have
been rolled in cornmeal before frying
III probably please them as well as
the best fried chicken. Foods that
are ordinary on the farm are often
a great treat TO the city dweller. This
crisp pork served with a gravy made
of corn -four cooked in q little of the
/ fat and good rich milk with salt and
/ pepper added to season, served with
/ fresh new potatoes from the garden
will be sufficiently satisfying for the
/ most healthy appetite.
From the garden we win have fresh
I lettuce for salad green onions and
/ radishes for relish and berries of
some kind for dessert.
! Canned meats win give a variety of
all the year round meats. A can of
/ chicken may be opened served with
cream sauce and poured over hot
biscuits, making an emergency dish
which is as good as chicken pie.
1t As never quite safe TO be without
jar of good salad dressing. This
may be seasoned to combine with what.
/ ever is used as salad. Whipped cream
or a little sour cream. added 10 the
/ dressing makes If go farther and taste
| better
A good dish of cottage cheese gar
nished with some raspberry Jam Tor
! jelly may be used) when served with
small cakes and a cupful of tea makes
delicious dessert.
Cream soups of various kinds are
quickly prepared. muffins, gems ana
baking powder biscuits are quick
breads, easily made in five minutes
and baked in 10 to - minutes.
One always has plenty Of eggs on
the farm as well ms milk. cream and
| butter, 50 that an omelet with a green
salad Will make another good main
dish TO serve in n hurry.
Spinach and swiss chard. If canned
now, will be great addition TO the
diet served as Vegetable or In cream
soups. Such vegetables are quickly
heated and when seasoned well are
most satisfactory.
Here is the recipe for hurry-up
sponge cake: Separate the y0lks and
whites of four eggs. Beat the yolks
until thick. add one cupful Of sugar
and one cupful Of rice -four or corn
| flour, one-elghth of a teaspoonful Of
salt. one tablespoonful Of lemon Juice
and then fold in the stiffly beaten
whites. Bake in gem pans. Served with
whipped cream these make a most
dainty dessert.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-08-07
WHY WOMEN DREAD
OLD AGE

Don't worry about old age Don't worry
about being in other peoples way when
you are getting on in years. Keep your
body in good condition and you can be as
hale and hearty in your old days as you
were when a kid, and every one will be
glad TO see you.
The kidneys and bladder are the causes
of senile Affections. Keep them clean and
in proper working condition, Drive the
poisonous wastes from the system and
avoid uric acid aecumulations Take GOLD
MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules periodical
" and you will find that the system will
always be in perfect working order. Your
spirits viii be enlivened. your muscles
made strong and your face have once
more the look of youth and health.
New life, fresh strength and health will
come as you continue this treatment. When
your first vigor has been restored continue
for awhile taking a capsule or two each
day. They viii Keep you in condition and
prevent a return of your troubles.
There is only one guaranteed brand of
Harlem Oil Capsules. GOLD MEDAL.
There are many fakes on the market BE
sure you get the Original GOLD MEDAL
Imported HARLEM Oil Capsules. They are
the only reliable, For sale by all first-elass
druggists.