davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
The Very Best.

Wy SSos
The client was somewhat disgruntled
and the lawyer demanded wherefore.
THAT bond you got me. / had to
pay the man $25."
"Well?"
snow I hear you can get a man to
go on your bond for ten"
"You wanted a good bond, didn't
you? One that would hold?"
II guess So"
And that's what I got YOU"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Timely Sayings.

Politeness often makes liars
Of honest men.
Too many so-called gems Of
thought turn out to be paste.
He Is a strong man who can
overcome his smallest weakness.
If fish could talk, anglers
would have to revise their yarns.
Don't expect your friends to
be stuck on your jokes If they
are pointless.
Doubtless some people go
around looking for charity be-
cause OF what 1t is supposed to
cover.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
JUST SMILES
Observation-Disclosures
Economy.

Economy.
Paper is getting scarcer," ex-
claimed Doctor Dumkopf.
"Have you any suggestions?" in
CURED the Berlin official.
Eyes. In making agreements we
should write cur agreements with a
slate pencil. We could clean off the
slate as much as we like without
wastefulneSS."
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Mothers Cook Book

20, walk on the sunny side of the street
When the day is chill and cold;
a a CHEEKY word for all you meet.
And a smile that shines like gold.
Yes, walk on the sunny side of the street
Whatever happens, keep sweet, keep
sweet.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Encouragement

war garden turn
out?"
Fine" answered
Mr.. Crosslots. II
rails e d enough
weeds to prove
that the soil would
be simply wonder
full for something
else If could
make 1t grow"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Timely Dishes.

Those who are fortunate enough to
live near the chestnut market may
have many delicious dishes with them
as q base.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Population of France.

In 1914 the population of France was
S9,500,O0O. and at the beginning of the
tho excess Of births over deaths
was about $4,000 annually. In 1916 the
deaths I'm the civilian population to-
tailed 100000. and In the military forces
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
In the Courts.
Defendant =

DEFENDANT - ]
acknowledg your
honor, I punched
this man In a mo-
ment Of indigna-
ton.
Plaintiff
wouldn't have
minded that II he
h a d also
punched me In the
face.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
He Can't Be Reached.

what do they mean by poetic JUS
tice?'
There's no such thing. You can't
try a poet for writing what he calls
poetry"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
N... MLat~elo
Rims Fit Autos to Rails.

To enable automobiles to be run on
railroad tracks Hanged steel rims have
heen invented that r attached by
Debating the tires and then Initiating
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
The LOGICAL Place.

when the waiter at the club was
arrested as a spy, where did they take
him to question him?"
"They took him to the grill ROOM"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Ancient Mosaic.

The largest ancient mosaic known
covering more than $500 square yards.
mas been uneartbed on the site OF
Aquiefeia, a Roman CITY that 49, a.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08

A most dainty and appetizing COM
bination salad which was the result Of
necessity, will now be a cherished one
Cut fresh, ripe tomatoes into fifths,
not cutting way through, so they stand
like the petals of a flower. Heap over
these thin strips Of ripe, fresh pears,
serve with French dressing with a
dash of onion juice and tabasco. The
combination Is especially appetizing.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Naturally.

From the way that man talks Of
the best way of controlling a woman.
! suppose he browbeats his own
wife,"
"Oh, no, he doesn't"
"Then how does he manage itY'
HE isn't married"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Banana Snow.

Take two large bananas that have
been well chilled, peel and mash fine
with a potato masher or put through
a fruit press. Over the banana pulp
squeeze the juice Of a lemon and add
a tablespoonful Of grape or orange
juice If desired. Over this break n
egg white and beat until fluffy; add
gradually a half cupful Of confection-
ers' sugar and continue beating. At
ter a few minutes beating the snow
will be firm enough to stand up. Pile
1t In a pretty glass dish and serve with
a thin chilled custard or with sweet
ened whipped cream.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08

Warden-What did the prisoner say
when you told him he would be hang
ed at midnight?
G~haplain--Ele said he didn't mind.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08
Picked Peppers.

For pepper lovers this will be worth
while using before the %succulent green
vegetable is gone from u markets in
the North. For one-half peck of pep
pers scald two quarts Of vinegar and a
scant cupful Of salt. Pour the hot
vinegar over the peppers three morn
ings in succession, using care that the
vinegar is not too hot or 1t softens the
peppers. Then seal in glass jars. One
quart Of peppers will make a pint
when picked.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-11-08

If a carrot or two is left and viii
wither before being used, slice thinly
and put to dry In the warming oven.
A pinch Of dry carrot will be a great
addition to many soups or sauces and
so easy to use In a hurry.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
Strength and
How to Gain Ii
Instead Of Exercises, Patent Foods and
Medicines, Take Phosphate With
Your Meals.

The demand today IL for men and
" omen who are strong in every sense
Ut the word-possessing the physical
strength necessary to endure hard
ships and fatigue: the mental strength
to grapple with difficult problems; the
nervous force which endows the body
with yigOr and vitality; the will power
to triumph over adversely and turn
defeat into victory.
But such glorious strength Is impos-
sible so long as your nerves are weak
and exhausted, and therefore ii YOU
would be really strong you must first
care for your nerves. Weak. exhausted
nerves need food. and for this purpose
physicians strongly recommend the use
Of the organic phosphate known among
druggists as bitro- phosphate which
Missoula Drug Co, G. f. Peterson, ID.
{. Smith and all good druggists stock
ia 5-gr. compressed, tasteless tablets.
If you feel your strength is failing
from any cause get Il supply OF these
hitro- phosphate tablets and take one
with every meal Practically all of the
minor ailments afflicting mankind, MS
Wen as many Of the more serious mall
dies. can be traced to nervous eX-
haustion and lowered vitality. and
probably this explains why such re
markable Improvement in the general
health is invariably noticeable when
titro- phosphate Is taken as directed.
as the nerves are thereby revitaliZed
nd made strong.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
AUSTRIAN ARRESTED
ON SEDITION CHARGE
Cursing Government While
"Mooching' Drinks.

Three persons in as many days have
been locked up in the county jail for
making seditious remarks about the
government and the third one to be
arrested is an Austrian who gave his
name as Mike Marks
He was arrested at the Montana ho-
tel where 1t Is said he was vile. in his
dAnunciation Of the United States
There are several witnesses who heard
his remarks and are ready to appear
against him. Patrolman bingham
found him mooching drinks at the bar
and stepping around quite lively, but
i Whom Alike -felt the Anu al. the ~laW. on
Mis- shoulder lie Immediately became
lame and almost had to be carried to
the county jail.
He IL about so years of age and was
extremely surley. Papers We're found
on him addressed to Mark Pusibras and
il Is thought that that Is his right
name. According to the papers 1t APP
pears that he has brought suit against
the Milwaukee railroad for injuries
received some time ago.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
over u, BUT RELIEVED
BY INTERNAL BATHS

Mrs. l.. NJ. Wadlia writes Dr. Chas
A. Tyrrefl of New York ms follows:
within the last month have had
wonderful results ana all inflammation
has nearly subsidized. l could hardly
expect woman over 20 to receive ben
eft from a trouble Of long standing as
quickly as n younger person. Money
could not buy my ~. B. L. Cascade
II could not get aHother."'
1t Is difficult to Relieve how many
Internal troubles ipternal bathing Will
relieve until you sfSali1c that phySt.
clans agree that 95 per cent of human
ailments are caused by accumulated
waste In the lower intestine.
The ~. B. L. Cascade" the scientific
method Of internal bathing, removes In
a perfectly natural way all poisonous
waste, and has been 30 successful ID
Promoting health that over half mill
lion intelligent Americans are now us,
ing u regularly.
1t is produced by Chas. A. Tyrrell, NJ
D.. OF New York. who for IS years has
been a specialist on Internal Bathing
and it is now being shown and ex-
planned by the MissOula Drug Co.
They will give you on request a very
interesting booklet OH Internal Bath
ing. by DIR. Tyrrell. t"Why Man of To-
day Is Only so per cent Efficient"
ASK for 1t today and know more
about yourself and your functions than
you ever have before.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
lTY CAUSE
! Of lJSh SUICIDE
Aged Man Shoots Himself
Squarely in Forehead:
Dies Instantly.
HIS SECOND ATTEMPT
HIS SECOND ATTEMPT
Had Just Recovered After
Five Weeks Illness
With Pneumonia.

Old age and weakness drove George
Nv. Lish, 81. to send IA bullet through
his brain last night at the home of his
son. Oakle, Lish, 1907 Sherwood street
The old man shot himself squarely
In the forehead with SO caliber re-
rOlver and died instantly. The sui
eide occurred at about 9:3o y. m
Second Attempt Successful.
Three days before Lish had at
tempted to kill himself. but his rela-
tives caught him in the act and took
the gun away from him. Last night,
however. his son and dauehter-in law
both being sick in bed, Lish got hold
Of the gun and fulfilled his purpose.
Lish had only recently been dis
charged from a hospital here after be-
ing i'll for five weeks with pneumonia.
Leaves Five Children.
Lish is survived by two sons and
three daughters and a sister, Mary
OCney. of Ovandb. The sons are Oak.
ley Lish. 1107 Sherwood, and Bert Lish,
OF st. Ignatius. The daughters are
Mrs. George Slocum of Eugene. Ore,
Mrs. Frank Nelson. 500. South Fourth
street Missoula, and Mrs. Harry Hart
sell. Chicago.
Funeral arrangements will be am
nounced later
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
GERMANS J INVENT
AIR BOMB GUIDE.
Increases Accuracy of Aim
Among Sky Fighters,
Is Claim.
FOUND ON PRISONER
British Capture Raider With
New Device on Person;
Not Ihfallible.

London.-H a. bomb be dropped from
an airplane 10000 feet up ana travel
ing at speed of 100 miles an hour,
1t reaches the ground u considerable
distance ahead of the point at which it
was released and the difficulty of
judging how to hit a particular build
ing Is enormous.
Find New Device.
a machine invented to assist the
raiders has been found on captured
Gotha. The main feature is telescope
hung on gimbals and pointing through
the floor of the bomber's compartment
In connection with this is a form of
spirit level which brings a bubble into
the center of the glass disc when the
telescope is vertical, SO that the bomb
err knows when it is in the position
that can be trusted
Below the telescope is a prism, so
that the image seen is not an object
directly underneath, but at any desired
distance ahead, according to the angle
at which it is set.
Liable to Error.
For Instance, II the airplane is 1000
feet up and the speed Is such that the
bomb must be. released half a mile from
the object, the prism has to be set at
an angle of fifteen degrees Even then
the calculation is liable to errors be-
cause the density Of different layers of
air may vary.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
Bret Bits of
MsSOuLd Ne,x,s

son is born at the Parker hospital
to Mr.. and Mrs. d. r. Anderson OF
Stark.
Mrs. John NJ. Boyd returned yester-
day from visit OF three weeks with
friends in Seattle.
Df. Anna James. osteopatn. 2o4 w.
Adv.
/ Mrs. II. II. Salter and her two young
sons are visitors in the city from their
home at Trout Creek.
i Mr.. and Mrs. j. D. Sloane of Dixon
are Visiting their daughters, Mrs. II. c.
Abbey and Miss Jessie Sloane, in this
city.
Or. Willard. osteopath. First Ma
tlonal Bank.-Adv.
1 Miss Sadie Jones is in Missoula this
week. visiting her former associates
In the Missoula Mercantile store. Miss
Jones has been several months in Cali
fornia for the benefit of her health.
A. r. Cole has returned from Canton.
Ill., having been called to the bedside
of his mother, who died in that city
two weeks ago yesterday. MIR. Cole will
go this week to his ranch at Woodside
[ DR.. Louise Smith. osteopath, 61S W.
Adv.
Dwight Hughes, formerly resident
Of Missoula. was operated upon at
Butte last Friday for relief Of appendi-
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
BIG SOMBREROS AID
IN STUDYING FRENCH
Sammees Find Lessons Easy
When Teachers Pretty.

New fork.--The classic French joke
Is that the only way an American can
learn French Is from a pretty girl,
little love making.
Our brave soldiers have not only to
Wrcstle with the enemy, but they have
also to struggle with French verbs
Some of them say that this latter is
even more difficult than the former,
but all are standing up to it manfully,
OF rather sitting down to it. And the
little French girls are doing their bit.
So many reverses of fortune have
come to courageous French families as
result of the war that many young
French girls are trying to earn a little
money on the side by giving lessons
II. the beautiful language" And they
are succeeding, wonderfully WELL
There Is q great demand for such
abstraction by the Americans in
France. From generals down to priv
ates all are busy parlez- rousing. One
young girl is known to be giving les
sons to a colonel, a major, and at lease
two iieutenants. BE sure, though, that
thc Young French teacher is always
cEaperoned by mamma or some other
member Of the family, for a well
brought up French girl never sees :.
man alone, either when a social belle
or when Just an ambitious Young
French teacher
But even II mamma Is in the back
ground knitting, what's the use of a
big hat if it cannot be made to Aeio
out III a situation in Nhi,n Il prey
ranch girl plays tn" star roll?
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26

American airplanes. were confirmed by
General Wood. The French flyers on
both sides Of the American sector have
been protecting the American front,
the general said. but at times they are
too busy elsewhere to afford adequate
protection, and then the German air.
planes have absolute freedom.
At times, he said, the Germans flew
so low that the Americans fired at
them with revolvers.
Makes Criticism.
General Wood fully discussed the
situation from the time he left this
country up to his return" said Chair
man Chamberlain in a statement after
the conference. He discussed ships
mappower of both France and Great
Britain and the necessity for activity
In America in getting men to the front
He realizes that more ships are abso-
lutely necessary to success.
"The general has some criticisms to
make and many IDEAS" said Senator
Chamberlain. HE felt that the Amer
lean industrial program should be
pushed. He thought also that more
raw materials might be sent abroad
to be manufactured in France and
that. ! understand is the palicy Of the
war department"
Strengthening of the army general
staff also was urged by General Wood
So many former experts on the general
he no eli
given work in France, that while Cen
eral Pershing has a splendid staff
that in the war department has been
depleted and be built up for advisory
purposes,
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
Non Partisan Delegates
Arrive for Convention

Fargo, y. d. March 25.--lncoining
trains today brought an advance guard
Of delegates to the National Non Par
tisan league state convention from all
parts of the state, for the three days
session, which will open tomorrow with
"a secret caucus. at which the state
ticket for the coming June primaries
will be selected by the delegates.
On the eve of the convention, It was
generally believed that the present
state ticket. which won so overwhelm-
iing1y two years ago, would be held
Reimbursed by the league, with the ex
ccption OF the state treasurer's office,
as this was the only office the league
failed to carry at the last election.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
GREAT OLD REMEDY
FOR SKIN DISEASES

blood tonic that viii purify your blood
and cause most decided abatement
of your trouble, and finally makes you
entirely well. Fifty years ago =. 5. :.
was discovered and given to suffering
mankind. During this period it has
proven its remarkable curative proper
ties as blood purifier and tonic. and
has relieved thousands of cases of
disease caused by poor or impure
blood. and chronic or inherited blood
diseases. You can be Relieved but YOU
must take S. 5. S. Take Il II only
pimples appear. for they denote had
blood. and may be followed by the suf-
terings from torturing skin eruptions.
Therefore be sure. Don't take chances,
don't use lotions. Get S. S. s. from
Your druggist. II yours Ia a special
case. write for expert medical advice
!. Addres1e Medical Director, AS Swift
Laboratory, Atlanta, O..
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
Wa. Stamps
Will Be Sold by Dry Goods
and Department Stores.

The national war savings COM
mittee announces that through the
National Retail Dry Goods ASSOC
citation, a campaign for the sale OF
Sl00.000,O00 worth Of war savings
securities will he launched.
These securities will be sold over
the counters Of every retail dry
goods and department store in the
nation. +. l.. Howe, an officer Of
the association, will direct the
work from Washington, d. &.
a leading merchant in each stale
will be named as state director
and every dry goods store from the
large cities to the country cross
roads will be asked to become
government agency for the collec-
ton of small savings for the Unit,
ed States war fund. 1t is estimated
that 100000 shoppers visit these
stores every day.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
Fuel Controller Again
'>' Warns of Coal Shortage

Washington, March 25.--More than
htlf million tons loss In coal produc-
ton last week caused the fuel admin
istration tonight to reiteratc warnings
that next winters supplies should be
laid in early to keep mines working
to capacity. The falling OH. IL con-
tinued. officials said. would mean Sc
rious shortage In fuel next winter TO
those not forehandcd enough to pur-
chase in advance.
In working out a zone system for
coal distribution allotting Il certain
territory to each producing field to
avoid transportation evils. the normal
production and consumption have
been balanced so evenly that any drop
in output will mean innhmerable DIFF
ftculties in obtaining fuel after cool
weather sets in.
Accumulation OF reserve fuel by the
administration to fiji shortage next
winter is not considered either wise OF
feasible.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26
CHILD DRINKS ACID
DIES IN TWO HOURS
While at Play Finds Vial and
Swallows Contents.

Washington. u. Grinding a vial
containing carbolic acid lying onthe
buffet in the home of his parents
Joseph Ashby Kidwell. Is months old,
son Of Mr.. and Mrs. Floyd NJ. Kidwell,
drained the bottle and died two hotrt,
later at the Casualty hospital.
Playing In the dining room white his
mother was at her household duties,
little Joseph climbed on a chair and
picked up the bottle from the buffet.
swallowing the contents, he fell
screaming to the floor. suffering from
the burns III his throat and mouth.
Hearing the screams, Mrs. Khwell
hurried to the boy, who was in convul-
sions. The empty bottle lay on the
floor. Police Of the Fifth precinct were
notified and the child was taken to the
hospital.
Mrs. kidwell told the police she kept
the carbolic acid for disinfectant pur-
poses.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1918-03-26

fcftfs Mn George Beckwith OF st
Ignatius has gone to Butte to be with
Mrs. Hughes.
Henry st. Peter and Henry Clouter
lot Missoula left last night for Fort
Wright to serve as engineers in the
limited States army under general as
alignment.
Marsh. the undertaken, FL W. Cedar.
EhOne 321.-Adv.
The Granite Bimetallic Consolidated
Mining company filed application yes
terday for mineral entry upon 1925
acres, the Bear Lode claim, survey 1916
~ section 5. township 6 apd I north,
range Is west.
Or. Harrison, practice limited to eye,
ear. nose and throat and the fitting OF
glasses. Office. Higgins block.-Adv.
Miss Rhoda Richardson returned
yesterday to her home at Lothrop aft
er being several days in MissOula, a
guest in the homes Of Miss Helen Nc
l1eod, Miss Charline johnson and Miss
Beatrice Decker.
r. Gwinn, M. D., eye, ear. nose and
throat specialist. Glasses ground at the
IA
ADJ.
FRANK r.. Harris of Noxon applied at
the United States land office yester-
day, for homestead entry upon so
acres. the north half of the northwest
quarter of section 2s, township rs
north, range 80 west
a nine-pound daughter was born
10 Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph T.. Gillian yes
terday morning, at their home in
Townsend. Mrs Gillian was before her
marriage Miss Carrie Hardenbureh Of
this city.
Seven per cent money to loan. II.
D. Ffsher.-Adv.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. o. McCollum came
into Missoula yesterday from st.
lgnatins. leaving their heavy work of
ploughing and seeding to spend a day
buying supplies for further intensive
agriculture.
Wy John Chandler came to the city from
Iotomac yesterday. to take home his
mother. who has been for long time
Ill with pleurisy and is now able to
leave the hospital and return to her
nome up the Blackfoot valley.
Miss Dema Dorsey, nurse from the
Northern Pacific Railway hospital, and
Miss. Harriet Arnold went to Helena
Yesterday. to take special exami-
nation with a view to entering at once
into service as Red Cross nurses.
Four cylinder, 7-passenger Stude-
baker car for sale. Room AZ, Higgins
blOck.--Adv.
T.. b. Davenport has come from
Chelwelah, Wash, to take the position
resigned by Arthur Bussard in the
mems clothing department of the Mis-
soula Mercantile store. Mrs. Daven-
port will come later to her new home
in Missoula.
Sheriff and Mrs. j. T. Green went 10
st. Ignatius to attend the funeral of
Hugh Mcneil, held Saturday. They
We're accompanied to Missoula by Mrs.
Mcneil and son Dan, who will remain
with them and with Mr.. and Mrs w.
T.. Wheeler until Friday.
Attorney i. T.. Hershey has returned
from tour Of speaking in behalf of
the Armenian Syrian relief work Mr..
Hershey addressed willing audiences at
! Superior, st. Regis, DeBorgfa, Saltese
and Alberton. ,s-,a3 &%.i
Rev I. NJ. Underwood returned yes-
terday morning from Florence, where
he preached on Sunday morning and
evening at the community church. Rev.