South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-24
Man in the Street

We can tell By the coal anarchy
Of this month that the country is 60
ing TO have. almost ice riots in July.
The bolsheviki of Russia are so
called because they want more, but
they are likely TO wind up by losing
even their one pair of pants.
A lady who runs a boarding house
in the city was anxious to show her
patriotism by observing meatless
days. She had been a little late
starting in the movement fearful
lest her gang might utter a protest.
When it came TO deciding what to
provide for dinner Tuesday she was
evidently much perturbed in mind,
but a solution presented itself.
which to her way of thinking fitted
the bill admirably. Calling Fred
Major to the phone she ordered 20
pounds of spare RIBS The boarders
are trusting that fate will never al
low her TO know that pork is meat
Not TO disturb the general ease of
the country. but, say fellows, there's
a kaiser to lick; let's get busy with
the job.
II man really wants popularity
and nothing else, he must keep out
of any public job that has TO do with
the speeding of the war prepara-
tons.
There may be one good reason
why every enemy alien should be
required to produce his own food,
or there may be a hundred good rea-
sons why he should consume the
store that our allies so sorely need.
We have merely failed TO compre-
bend either the one or the hundred.
Rev. r. r. Parker. pastor of the
Methodist church. thanked God for
Woodrow Wilson, i'm his sermon last
Sunday morning. And the fervent
Amen" from the Presbyterian cor
ner could have been heard a dis
lance away With the churches on
our side it scarcely seems probable
that the republicans will again at
tempt to run any more candidates in
MishaWaka.
THE muse of history will write
the name of Woodrow Wilson high
on the scroll of fame as one of the
worlds first heroes of the faith"
Isn't that a beautiful sentiment,
George Mcbride?
With the coming of the wheatless
cracker some newspapers are de-
handing to know whether the
wheatless cracker is a nut cracker
or a firecracker. Most of the crack
ers we ever knew were Georgia
crackers.
Gen. Hindenburg says by April he
will be in Paris. He evidently eX
poets his capture to take place soon
err than we expect to take him. We
rather count on taking him in Ber
lin and executing him there next
year.
New York is now consuming five
tons of horse flesh week The
gastronomic experts, bon wants
and epicureans of Gotham viii never
be satisfied until they have an Op-
portunity TO test the toOthsomeness
Of a gray mule sirloin.
Have you commenced cultivating
your snail beds ae suggested by Mr..
Hoover? SOM folks used to turn
up their nose a. frogs legs, but they
have gotten bravely over it. We
guess the snail diet Will become
quite popular in Mishawaka in no
time. If by eating this dish were
going TO help win the war, count us
in. Mr.. Hoover.
Now that he has righted the fuel
situation, why doesn't Bill Miller in
stigate a corn pone and potlicker
revival? He would think the year
of jubilee had come so glorious
would be the hosaHnahs that the
happy hosts of democrats and Meth
odists would raise.
In order TO prove our utmost good
in the matter of weather prognosti-
cation, we advise the readers of this
column TO pay strict attention 70 the
daily forecast and then 10 bet three
10 one against it.
Glad as we are that the colonel
is convalescing so rapidly, we sup
pose science will never tie able TO
explain why it was not his vocal or
gans. instead Of his auricular ma
chinery that got out OF whack.
Gen. Hindenburg's promise TO
reach Paris by April strangely re-
minds US Of the former cars prom
Use 10 eat his 1914 Christmas din
ner in Berlin. There's many a eat
between a rat and the fat, or. in
other words, there's many a gun be-
tween a Hun and a bun.
We like that name Dodge princi-
pally because il belongs TO Billy