The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-08-08

their bills. A druggist brought s
young man in this town bill years
old, and the first item of the bill was
charge for box of chocolates ane
the last item was charge for nurs.
ing bottle. How time does fly!
A stammering man was turned
down when he tried to enlist. He was
peeved and said: ~ d-d-d-don't want
Observation-Disclosures This say
ing interested the recruiting officers
in the man and upon further question
| ing him he said. 81 c-c-c-couldn't say
s-s-s-surenderifth wholedam German
armywouldjumpontome"
q z =
1t makes the old-fashioned woman
snort when she reads of physicians
operating on boys heads to make bet
ter boys Of them. There was time
when she operated on her boys for this
very same purpose, but didn't use
knife, and the portion of the anatomy
she OpefdIeu on was luIluei SOutH
than the head.
Pat and Mike wefe crossing the
Delaware river on ferryboat. They
were watching intently big dredg-
ing barge that was sending it's NAM
moth. scoops under the water and
bringing up tons of mud. pat" says
Mike, wouldn't yez loike to be a
workin' over there on thot mud dig
ger?" "Yis,' says Pat, "but begorra,
Old hate to be one of the fellers I'M
der the water that's film up thin,
shovels."
1t was beautiful evening and Ole,
who had screwed up courage to take
Mary for a ride, was carried away by
the magic of the night. "Mary," he
asked, twill you marry me?" eyes,
OLE" she answered softly. He lapsed
into silence that at last became pain
full to his fiancee. "Ole," she said,
"why don't you say some
thing?" "Ay tank" Ole replied,
"they bane too much said already"
Z z e
A Scotchman landed in Canada not
long ago. The very first morning he
walked abroad he met coal black
negro. 1t happened that the negro
had been born in the Highland district
Of Scotland and had spent the greater
part of his life there. Naturally, he
mad burr on his tongue. "Hey,
said the pink Scotchman,
can we no tell me wheer I'll find the
Sirk?" The darkey took him by the
lrm and led him to the corner. $50
-icht up to yon wee hoose and gang
Up the HILL" said he. The fresh i'm
from Scotland looked up at
Tim in horror. "And ARE we from
Scotland, mon?" he asked. "Richt
re are" said the darkey. "Aberdeen's
ma hame." "And hoo lang have ye
een here?" "Aboot twa year. said
he darkey. "Lord save us and keep
81" said the new arrival. w naur
an | get the boat for Edinboro
4 z z
An old Scotchman was acting as
uide to an American tourist who was
raveling through Scotland. Sandy
ound great diffirulty in pleasing his
nployer, for no matter what point
f interest he took him to see, it vas
othing in comparison to what the
merican had already seen in the
nited States. Finally Sandy took
m to see Loeb Katrine that supplies
e city of Glasgow with the finest
linking water in the world. "Ha'e
drink O. that, mon, we ha'enna wa
r like that in New York The
merican drank long, and when he
I'd finished he turned to the old
.otchman and said, "Say, Sandy,
ats the finest water I've ever tast
If we had this lake in New York
) would make fortune out of it." i
Veel, sir" said Sandy, Eye can easy
t it there" Impossible" said the
nerican "How in the world could
AXE lake to New York;" "Weel,"
id Sandy, Eye cud lay a two-inch
De frae here to New York an if we
n suck as well as we can blow, ye'll