The Washington herald., 1918-08-03
THE STERN PARENT
By DOROTHY DIX
THE WORLDS HIGHEST PAID WOMAN WRITER

they are venting their lust for cruelty
on the only individuals in the world
that they may attack with safety to
themselves.
A man dares not beat his wife when
he comes home from the ofice ner-
vous and irritable because business
has gone wrong. or when his boss has
given him a lecture on his inefficiency,
for wife would hale him into the
divorce court IL he raised his hand
against her. But II is perfectly safe
to spank little Johnnie for some triv-
iai offense. and little Johnnie 10 offer
ed up on the altar of his fathers ILL
temper,
Mother has a spat with father at
the breakfast table about the bills.
She can't throw the coffee pot at
him. as she would like to, because
that way OF settling q family dis
pute isn't done in the social circles
in which she moves, so she finds
an escape valve for her over
wrought feelings by giving Mamie
a whipping about losing her hair
ribbon.
The spectacle OF a big husky, six
foot man beating a little three-foot
child is so degrading. so shameful.
so unutterably cowsrdly that II is
no wonder that fathers have had TO
camoufiage the dastardly deed un-
der a high sounding moral label.
and call 1t paternal duty. and claim
that IL Is exceedingly painful to
him and that he is only doing II for
the good of the little one.
How much good such parental
frightfulness really does its VIC
tim. we grown-ups can testify from
our own experience. There is not
one of us who can remember being
whipped by our parents. who does
not recall how we hated them for II,
what bitterness surged up in our
little souls, and how we despised
them for the lies they were telling
us in saying they were Furnishing
US because II was their duty. when
we knew they were doing II for
their own pleasure and the gratifi-
cation OF their own anger.
People who believe that you can
make children good by beating
them belong to the days when
people held that the rack and the
thumb screw were the divinely or
dsined means OF converting men
and women to Christianity. Their
only place in the modern world is
in Germany. where the gospel Of
frightfulness still prevails.
OF course fathers and mothers
must control their children, and
they must have authority over them
while they are still too young and
have too immature judgments to
regulate their own lives, but in or
der to do this, 1t is not necessary to
physically ill-treat them, nor hold
over them whip as q means OF
keeping them in order.
Indeed. this Is the worst possible
way any one can take to lead
child to the higher life. There is,
which a child Is physically afraid
of you. and. when that is over, and
the half grown boy or girl. realiz-
ing that you are too cowardly to
attack those who are able to defend
themselves. no longer stands in
dread Of the parental razor strop.
you have no hold whatever over
them.
Then the boy and girl who have
been kept at home of nights by fear
Of a beating. defy you to your face
and roam the streets of pleasure,
The son and daughter who have
been kept from the ordinary Hber-
ties that other children enjoy, by
threats of whipping. take their All
of them and faunt their newly
found freedom in your face. Nine
tenths of the wayward girls and
boys who go to excesses In amuse-
ments have been brought up in
strict households by stern parents
who ruled them by the rod.
Fear is the mother OF lying, deceit
and all sorts of under-handed deal
ings and the children who are reared
In terror OF whipping for every lit
tie misdemeanor or childish fault,
grow to be sly, cunning and untruth-
ful. Nor can one blame them. It is a
measure Of self protection that their
parents have forced upon them.
On the other hand, Just as fear
brings out all that is most despicable
In human nature, so kindness brings
out what Is best Virtues that wither
UP and perish in the stony soil of cru
city. flourish and bloom when trans
planted into the rich valley of tender
ness, and everybody. from hardened
criminals down to newborn babies,
can be gently led into doing the
things that no amount of beating
would have driven them into doing.
1t is worth while for parents to re-
member this elemental fact in human
nature. They can whip Johnnie and
Mary into doing certain things and
refrsining from doing certain other
things, for few short years, but
when Johnnie and Mary come to the
time that they are no longer afr1id
OF the whip. the parents power Is
gone.
But IL Johnnie and Mary had been
ruled all their lives by love and Kind
ness, II they had been on friendly
terms with their parents and had
gone to father and mother with their
condolences, had advised with them
and have deferred to opinions that ex-
perience has taught them had only
their good in view, why, then fathers
and mothers influence would never
cease. II grows stronger as the chill
dren grow older. and is always the
guiding spirit Of their lives.
And there Is this sad thing about the
stern parent. He misses all the re-
wards Of parenthood. He gets no re-
turn for the work and sacrifices that
u takes to rear family, for fathers
and mothers can only be repaid In
love, and none Of US ever obey those
we fear. or kiss the hand that strikes
us.
Any way you look at II, child beat
ing is . poor sport. and IL ID to BE