davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
AMONG THOSE PRESENT.

A story was told me not SO very
long ago by a St. Louis newspaper
man that / do not believe has ever
before broken into print In any of
the magazines. It concerns a man
who used to live near Belleville,
ILL.,, just across the river from St.
Louis, and is particularly interest
ing because Teddy Roosevelt plays
part in the telling.
1t happened at the time T. r.
was i'll in the Roosevelt hospital in
New York City. The former Belle
vile man was staying at an apart
ment in New York and happened
to have a telephone number SINH
lar to that in the hospital. Day
and night he was kept busy, so the
story goes. answering the numer-
Gus calls that came in regarding
MIR. Roosevelt's condition, many
many persons getting his number
by mistake.
The limit of his endurance was
reached, however. when one man
called up and said:
"Just tell the colonel that Mike
Hicks called, will you? He'll re-
member me alright. I'm the fellow
that shook hands with him at the
depot that day he came to Allen
town."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
EXCUSE NE!

"The Brookville, Ind, Democrat
recently reported that William
Stewart was the victim of a double
son stroke" said my friend, Fred
Myers. AT first l thought the print
err must have pulled bonehead,
but on further perusal of the ar
ticle l learned that William was
merely the father of a bouncing
pair of twin boys.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
YAkA HULA HiKA DUlA DU,

A paper published in this section
of the state recently carried a
headline which said, "Looky What
Boston Township Done" Well, l
looked look and seen where Bos-
ton township had gone and bought
en- a lot Of Thrift stamps which is
a very creditable thing to have did.
l am wondering though. what Bos-
ton township will have did since
saving that headline.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
a FEW GOOD ONES THEY
TELL ON THE ROCKIES

A Sammy writing home from the
trenches said:
1.-The children of France seem to
re much smarter for their years
han the children of America. Why,
even the little tots here can talk
he French language before they
are three or four years DID,"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

After watching a hen cackle for
a moment, little Jimmy asked his
mother why the hen had to draw
its breath every time it wanted to
say something to another chicken.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
NOT LIKE A ROSE

Customer: How do you tell bad
eggs?
Grocer: ] don't know, Pm sure.
I never told any. However,
would suggest that you break It
gently. Might be cold storage eggs,
you know.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

Coal land will be developed by
the Luton Mining Co., Providence,
KY, incorporated with 100000
capital.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

The Indiana state Council of De-
tense says that the wise man is he
who puts In an early order for coal.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

niece No <@1upt she was a fresh
man ~ high school.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
How ! saved Something That Was
Formerly Wasted to Buy
Thrift Stamps.

Thrift Stamps.
l used to put sugar on my bread,
but now / don't. l used to eat
Jumps of brown sugar, but / do not
now. ! used to eat lots of candy
too, but now ! am saving the money
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

Fern Doolittle went shopping up
20 Indianapolis the other day to buy
her spring outfit. and all she bought
was q pound of fudge and pair OF
oyerallS.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18
News Clipping. From
Pershinx Pest

Silas Bonebreak went fishing the
other day, but didn't -.mlch any.
think. He complained that the
Wc..n.s We're too poor this spring as
they hadn't been corn-fed since the
war begin.
Fern Doolittle went shopping up
20 Indianapolis the other day to buy
her spring outfit. and all she bought
was q pound of fudge and a pair Of
oyeralls.
Bud Jcnes's father bought a new
Ford the other day, and now Mary
Simpkins is hoping she will get
over the measles pretty soon SO
Bud can call.
Jim Dollarhide says the Liberty
Loan Bonds is mighty good in
vestment, and he's going to put
every dollar he's got in 'em SO his
wife can't strap him every night
when he hangs his pants on the
bed post.
Peter Hollern, the corner loafer,
bought some thrift stamps the other
day, and now every body is won
dering how Peter got the money.
Thrift is all right Peter, hope you'll
get along with it SO that you won't
have to borrow your next winters
coal.
Bridget McCarty says she is sur
prised at This Oirish over the
pond at the way the've bin actin
of late. The spalpeens! They're
no bitterin' me son Pat. He wuZ
censcripted and got into a stiff
fought the mkt day after he landed
in cam for calm his tint mate a
doirty Dutchman."
Josephine Apple went to Indian
apolis to visit friends last Thurs
day for the weekend, but came
home Friday. She said the town
was too hig for her-she couldn't
attract any attention, and her new
spring hat wasn't in style.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-05-18

Bud Jcnes's father bought a new
Ford the other day, and now Mary
Simpkins is hoping she will get
over the measles pretty soon SO
Bud can call.
The Lamar register., 1918-11-20
SIMS HOARD
BY HAROLD CARTER.

Sim Lane was the meanest man In
Colville. Though he came OF a decent
old family, and had. in fact. had the
chance Of going to college in his
youth, his fathers impoverishment
seemed to have turned the wine OF
life into vinegar for him. He settled
down on what was left Of the farm.
and eked out a miserable existence
together with his slatternly wife and
the daughter who always looked half
starved.
1t was a shame. everybody agreed.
His miserliness had grown on him
with age. The cottage was cold as
an icehouse in winter because he
burned fagots. picked up in the woods.
instead OF coal. Mrs. Lane looked
more and more disreputable. and the
daughter more hungry. He was un.
popular in the village, and the boys
used to shout taunts after the skulk-
ing figure.
A new barn had to be built, and, af.
ter much haggling. Lane skimped
down the contractor to the lowest fig
ure for shoddy work. Then. to save
money. he set to and started on the
foundations himself. 1t was while he
was digging them-dynamite being an
expense to which he would not cater
that his pick struck something hard
er than earth and more resonant than
stone.
Presently Sim unearthed q metal
box rusted with age With fremblInv
fingers he managed to get 1t open. In.
The Lamar register., 1918-11-20

side was a linen bag, and in the bag,
he found eight thousand dollars in
Revolutionary era gold.
Nobody saw Sim make the discovery
except two village boys who were
watching him furtively through a
crack in the fence. The story. spread
through the village. recounted that,
after the find. Sim sat down and ran
his fingers through the gold for half
an hour and more.
Everybody soon had news Of the
treasure. For a week nobody saw
Sim Lane or his wife or girl, except
that the druggist fancied he had seen
the women hurry with averted faces
through the streets toward the depot
one evening. However. a week later
there was a sensation in Colville.
Mary Lane. looking ten years young
or, and Amanda, the girl. walked
quietly up the street toward the
church one Sunday. They were
dressed in decent clothes. there was a
gold bracelet on Amanda's wrist, and
they were altogether transformed.
Youths who had never favored Aman-
da Lane with a second look stared at
ter her. She was positively beautiful.
A Gsst ssnsstiep- fallaEaa ~ Aa3
The Lamar register., 1918-11-20

revolution.
viii not venture "A guess as to when
that Will be, but feel sure that 1t will
certainly come about. Fortified by II
large portion of the army, the German
people Will at last turn on their rulers
and destroy the throne and the whole
Hohenzollern regime.
In this connection, recall q
prophecy made early in the war by an
honored colleague of mine of Dresden,
an American dentist who had lived and
practiced in Germany for forty years
and understood the German people and
their rulers as well. perhaps. as any
man alive. He was a lender of his
profession and man whose judgment
On all things was most accurate. He
was in close contact with many leading
figures of the German nobility.
Germany will lose the war because
her cause is wrong" he declared. "She
will fight 1t through to the bitter end
until the foundations of the empire are
absolutely destroyedw
THE END.
The Lamar register., 1918-11-20

Copyright. 1918. by the Mcclure Newspa-
per Syndicate)
had been tried that ones laundry IN
yariably came home full Of holes.
In November. 1917. paid 500 for a
suit of clothes which IL It had been
made out OF cloth of good quality
would have been worth about S35. As
II was, the tailor frankly admitted
that the goods was made of re-worked
yarn. and because of the lack of cotton
thread, the seams were worked with a
material which looked like paper
string.
This paper string was in general use
at that time, the department stores all
displaying notices warning customers
not to carry their parcels by the string.
Many purchases were no longer
wrapped. to save paper, and no pur-
chase amounting to less than So was
delivered.
Before left Berlin, artificial silk
was the principal fabric obtainable for
ladies' wearing apparel. Almost every
woman In the land. princess or maid.
wns nttlred In art taffeta. 1t sold for
SO q yard. In normal times 1t would
have been worth from 20 cents to 81.
In the fall Of 1917, cloth suit was un-
obtainable for less than $500. 1t would
have been worth S25 in normal times.
All fur skins were needed for SOL
dIers' wear and the few that were still
obtainable for home use in the form
of fur sets sold for $1,000 up.
Through spectators, We obtained
some Imitation soft soap at 81 per
pound. People said 1t was made from
human corpses, but 1t was the only
thing available outside of the substi-
tutes which were soap only in name. A
small cake of toilet soap easily brought
S3. A servants plain wooden ward
robe, formerly costing S5. was unob-
tainable for less than $50. We paid
as high IS So n pound for butter. from
n speculator. and my last Christmas
dinner In Berlin consisted of a small
goose, just enough for one meal for
three persons, for which paid S25.
One of the things the people missed
most, of course, was their beer. While
1t was put on sale at p. m. every
night, only limited amount was avail
able and as soon as It was disposed
of. only coffee or tea substitute. with
out sugar, milk or lemons, could BIZ
had.
The scarcity Of metals required foi
munitions was evidenced early in the
war when the interiors and exterior'
of houses throughout the country wer,
thoroughly ransacked and everything
in the way of copper, brass or alu
minum fixtures or cooking utensils tina
wasn't absolutely necessary wa
seized.
Horses were gradually disappearing
from sight when left early this year
One saw them lying about the street
where they dropped from exhaustion
and what disposition was made of thei
F. - - -
The Lamar register., 1918-11-20
Time.

Time doth transfix the flourish set
en- youth.-Shakespeare CAfidsummey
Nights Dreamy.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
The Departments Service Flag

In front of the main building of the
Department of Agriculture hangs
big service flag with the numerals
"1,196." Since the flag was made the
number of former regular members of
the Department now in the Army or
the Navy has risen to 1887. In adj
dition, 4,511 employees, including 95S
women, have been lost to the Depart
ment in other ways since the declara-
ton of a state of war with Germany.
Most of the 6,04S who have left the
Departments service are experts in
their fields and were performing i'm
portant duties in the Department
which required long training and
peculiar qualifcations-some of them
special technical qualifications. The
Department has been in the position
of having to increase its forces greatly
to perform its old duties and meet the
wartime demands for extended opera
tions while at the same time it has
been losing large numbers of its most
effective and trained employees. The
difficulties in securing men of the
requisite training and of retaining
those already in the service have been
very great.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
Republic Tomorrow.

Joan of Plattsburg," the new Gold
wyn photoplay starring Mabel Nor
mand. which is to be seen at the Re
public Theatre tomorrow is a patriotic
plav of unusual timeliness. many OF
the scenes taking place in one of Uncle
Sans concentration camps in the
East
According to the story. this camp at
Plattsburg, n. Y, is occupying the at
tention of Il band of enemy spies who
operate an orphan asylum close by to
hide their nefarious work. In this
asylum the charter orphan is Joan,
little girl who has become obsessed
with the notion that she is a second
Joan of Arc. destined TO save her coun-
try from ruin.
She hears the spies DECIDING wire
less messages in the room above her,
and thinks they are the voices that
came to the other Joan. She hears
these voices planning the theft of a
secret invention of man named Ing
Teton. who is at present stopping at
the camp under protection of Captain
Lane. the dashing SOung officer with
whom Joan is in love; so she hastens
TO Lane and warns him of his danger.
At first he thinks she is demented;
but when some of her prophecies
come true. he realizes there is more
fact than fiction underlying. and con-
ducts an investigation which results
in discovery of the band. But before
the band is captured they accomplish
some bloodthirsty deeds with which
they have been commissioned by the
enemy powers; and events lead to a
thrilling series of scenes involving
little Joan. the dashing captain, and
a number of Government officials.
In the course of the action, Uncle
Sans student officers are seen in
various phases of their training at
Plattsburg; and there are number
of other unusual scenes.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
At The Republic Tonight.

A stirring war play, one whose ac-
tion centers on the front lines in
France, will be shown at the Republic
Theatre tonight II is a William
Fox play. called "A Daughter of
France" and in it the beautiful Miss
Virginia Pearson is starred
1t is a typical of love in the
trenches" play but has in it a twist
that is surprising In fact. it is one
Of those dramas that keep You on edge
continually because you cannot forsee
The ending, and while You hope it will
turn out according to your sympathy
for heroic France you are never sure
but what the Williams may conquer.
The picture also presents an idea of
what happened when the Germane
ovcrran France, regarding neither wo-
men nor churches.
Miss Pearson gives a splendid por-
trayal of the anguish that overcOmes
true-hearted French girl of noble
blood when the enemy occupy her
town and her chateau. Here is ro-
nance and adventure aplenty.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31

Last fall, when digging potatoes In
his garden in the rear of 1887 South
Senate avenue, Frank Fletcher found
with a spadeful of earth and a clus-
ter of the precious tubers a bronze
medal about one and one-third inches
in diameter q relic of the Civil war.
On one side, besides the figures 1861
1865, it presents two figures, one of
the Goddess of Liberty and the other
a soldier, on whose head the goddess
is placing laurel wreath. The other
side. inclosed in a wreath, shows the
inscription. 1.-THE state of Ohio to /.
F. Seal, veteran Co. G. 35th regiment.
Ohio volunteer nfantry."-Indianapo
lis News.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
Spraying Circles" For Farmers.

Community cooperation in spray
ing, particularly in the control of
such diseases as potato late blight and
tomato leaf spot. is urged by the
United States Department of Agricul-
ture. The Department is suggesting
to county agents and extension path
ologists the early organization of such
spraying circles" to deal more eff
fectively this year with such destruc-
tive plant diseases. A community
spraying outfit with a man and team
continuously employed throughout the
season is both economical and efTici-
ent, Department officials say, and
proved successful plan in Vermont
and New York last year. In one New
York community the average spray
ing cost per acre for the season was
as low as 65cents, while the cost of
one application averaged 10 cents an
acre. Detailed reports of the organi-
cation and operation of the community
spraying circles as they are conducted
in Vermont and New York are being
made available by the Department to
workers.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
THEATRE ATTRACTIONS.
AT The Colonial Tonight.

Captivating Billie Burke in an ex-
tremely enjoyable perturbation Of the
great stage success "Divorcons." en-
titled Lets Get a Divorce" viii be
the delightful attraction at the Colon
ial this evenig.
typrienne Marcy, an orphan in d
convent in Southern France. is of
peculiarly romantic nature Life to
her Is one round of romance. and she
manages TO indulge in one Irritation
after another The Mother Superior
regards Cyprienne with anxious eyes
and when good man asks Cyprienne's
hand in marriage, the excellent Mother
gratefully offers her cooperation
Henri de Prunnelle is the brother of
Cypriennes best friend, Yvonne. He
is forty, student and writer. and
realizing her love Tor adventure. Henri
plots with the Mother Superior to ar
range a romantic elopement. This
marriage is quite soul-satisfying 10
Cyprienne but when Henri settles
down to the role of a commonplace
husband, ner romantic spirit awakes
again Adhemar, who is in his hand
some uniform of the Foresty Service,
appeals to her Imagination. The two
carry on a secret Irritation and finally
Cyprienne, without realizing the seri-
BUSINESS of her request, asks Henri to
give her divorce. After a consulta-
ton with Iyonne, Henri consents and
in the subsequent scenes il develops
that Cyprienne sickens of Adhemar,
who after all, proves to be a cad.
When Henri with mock tears offers to
turn her over TO his rival. Cyprienne
falls weeping upon his breast. and
amid her sobs, assures him that she
loves him alone. Adhemar takes his
leave in disgust while Henri clasps his
repentant wife to his bosom.
Dainty Billie Burke is truly at her
best in this enjoyable comedy, don't
miss it, Pathe News also.
Tomorrow, matinee and evening,
Constance Talmadge, in up The Road
With Sallie;" also good comedy
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
CAVE HIS MESSAGE
"Poppa" lust Had to Speak to
Station Master.
Had to Hold Up the Train to DO II, bus
Now Hot-Tempered Official Knows
Exactly What Murphy
Thinks Of Him.

In Omniana Mr.. ]. +. Fuller tells Of
meeting an American tourist in an
Irish train. There is much in the story
that is not pleasing TO an American
reader; but il is an amusing tale, and
in helping US 10 see ourselves in the
light in which some of US are seen by
others ii shows some characteristics
that we, at least, can avoid.
/ soon found myself, says Mr.. Fuller,
filling the position of a soft of second
hand tourist guide without the frogged
frock coat and the cap that lend dignity
to the genuine article.
The conversation dwelt on the differ
ences between the two continents and
the superiority of Ammurrica over
U-rope and might have gone on indefi-
nitely had not "Poppa" put n stop to it
by suddenly calculating, as we pulled
up at the next station:
"Darned If this amt k! This is
X, mister?"
He let down the window with bang
and, poking his head out, shouted to
the guard, gesticulating violently
bald-headed and hatless:
Say, sir must see the station mas
ter right away"
You can't. We stop only minute"
oval, won't go without" said he,
jumping out. That's fact"
Then you'll have to wait for the
night mail. The station master is en-
gagged down at the other end. See him
beyond. shakin' his fists?'
Call him up! It's most pertikler."
"Poppa's" insistence was so great
that the guard, thinking that there
might be something in it. yielded, and
sent porter to fetch the official up,
while "Poppa" stepped in again and
waited.
whats up?' inquired the full
blooded, painting station master as he
arrived.
Yankee gent wants to see you, sir;
that's him with the big head, waving
the umbrella"
well, sir, what do you want?"
''This is X station, amt it?"
eyes. Can't you read that sign
boardT
The American ignored the question
Z
the station master?"
Yes, confound it, Don't be keep
ing the train"
you were acquainted with Joe Muir
ply of DetrOit!"
"Oh, yes. He left this country two
years ago. Is he dead-or what? Look
aliver
wal, no. He amt dead; but he said
to me in confidence when / started on
this tOwer-and they were his last
words at partin'-'When you get to Ire
land he says. you be sure to look out
for B., at X station. and don't go by
on no account without seem him. Let
me have the pleasure of shakin' hands
with you Mr.. B.. I'm vurry pleased
indeed to make your acquaintance.
For says Joe Murphy TO me, b Is
VIGOROUSLY the worst-tempered railway
official in the whole of Ireland Ia
ia" And he suddenly bobbed In, pull
ed up the window and gesticulated po-
litely as he sat down.
The objurgatiOns hurled at "Poppa"
by the Infatuated B. were sufficiently
violent, anyone would have thought, to
shatter the glass.-YOuths Companion.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
johnson as Literary AutOcrat.

The Great Cham of Literature was
n term formerly general in its ap-
nlication TO Samuel Johnson, arising
from n reference to that quaint and
autocratic master of letters in a let
ter from Doctor Smollett to John
Wilkes in 1859. The term suggests
the Great Cham sometimes CHAM OF
Tartary whom many writers of that
dov employed as a figure typifying
despotism. In the letter referred to,
however. the term is used somewhat
i~onicaIlv. for the so-called Great
Cham had appealed to Smollett to Sc
cure the discharge of his negro serv-
ant from the navy and it was through
Wilkes. who had nursed q grudge
against johnson, that the discharge
was procured. Smollett's Inference
was that under such circumstances
the Great Cham was humble man.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-05-31
Traits of Bird Lovers.

Years ago, during a winters visit
in London, ] used to watch the per-
sons who regularly fed the birds in
Hyde park. l noticed that most of
them were people of apparently hum
BILE circumstances, a few pretty close
to underfeeding themselves. It was
delightful to see how much pleasure
they all took in keeping these birds
from hunger.
Two that l saw each day for a
week or so, evidently husband and
wife, l ventured to speak TO. Eagerly
they talked about the birds as they
might have talked about children,
noting and relishing individual char
acteriStics.
I'VE have become so fond of them"
said the wife. "They recognize us
now. many Of them, and a few come
10 us quite fearlessly. We should
feel quite uncomfortable If we should
miss a day. They are like members
of the family that have to be cared
for."-ExchanGe