The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1918-04-04
lCopyriGnt tsio. Tpo bopbs' Merrill Company
CHAPTER xxUI.-continued.

CNAS EN- NNII|.-Continued.
il
There was something peculiarly hor-
kifying to him In the exhibition Ran
dolph was making Of himself. He'd
never In his life taken q drink ex-
cept convivially, and then he took az
little as would pass muster. Going off
alone and deliberately fuddling one
self, rs n means OF escaping unpleas-
amt realities, struck him as an net OF
she basest c%owardice. But for that
picture Of Rose he'd have gone long
ago and left Randolph to his bcmused
reflections. Only . . Rose Ind
asked him to drop In on the doctor for
n visit. Did she mean she wanted him
60 try to help?
He tried, though not very success
fully. TO conceal his violent dlsrellsh of
the task. when he said: Look here,
Jim! What is the matter with your
Are you sober enough to tell mcf"
Randolph put down his glass. II
have told YOU" he said. I'm Elennor's
kept man. Well kept, oh. yes! Beau
tifully kept. I'm nothing but n pos
pcoSioh VI ViS n ti'fhy Va ooitS' uh
ornament. I'm something she's made.
4 have a big practice. I'm the most
fashionable doctor In Chicago. They
come here, the women, In shoals.
That's Eleanor's doing. I'm q faker,
N fraud. l pose for them. l play up.
give them what they want And
that's her doing. They go silly about
me; fancy they're In love with me.
81 haven't done a lick Of honest work
In the last year. ! can't work. She
won't let me work. S~he-smothers me.
Wherever I turn. there she Is, smooth
Ing things out. trying to make It easy.
trying to anticipate my wants. I've
only one want That's to be let alone.
She can't do that. She's Unsuitable.
There's always something more she's
trying to get, and I'm always trying TO
keep something away from her, and
FALLING"
"And why1 Do you want to know
why, Aldrich7 That's the cream Of the
thing. Because we're In love with
zach other. She wants me to live on
her love. To have nothing else to live
on.
do you want to know what my no
tion OF heaven is7 1t would be to &c
or alone, with one suit Of clothes In
n handbag, oh. and fifty or n hundred
dollars In my pocket wouldn't mind
that; I don't want to be n tramp-tC
some mining town. or Stun. where
could start n general practice; where
fhe things I'd get would be acciden,
Eases, confinement cases: real things
urgent things. that night and day are
all alike to. I'd like TO start again nnt
be poor; get this stink Of easy none!
out of my nostrils. I'd like to see II
could make good on my own.
81 came back from New York, aftel
shat look at Rose. meaning to do 1t
meaning to talk 1t out with Eleanor
and tell her why, and then go. Well.
talked. Talks cheap. But I didn't 20
Til never go. I'll go on getting softe'
and more Of q fake; more dependent
And Eleanor will go on eating me VI
until the Inst thing In me that's mi
myself Is gone. And then, some day
sheli look at me and Gee that I'm moth
ing"
Then. with suddenly thickened speccl
Kan affectation. perhaps), he looked VI
at Rodney and demanded:
"What are you looking 40 s-solem'
about3 Can't you take a Joke? Com
along and have another drink"
"No," Rodney said, "Tm going. AM
you'd better get to bed"
Rodney walked home that night lik
d man dazed. The vividness OF on
blazing idea blinded him. The thin
that Randolph had seen and lacked tn
courage to do; the thing Rodney dc
spised him for a coward for havin
failed to do-that thing Rose had done
Without knowing 1t. yielding to
blind, unscrutinized instinct, he'd want
ed Rose to live on his love. He'd trie
no smooth things out for her, nntlcipat
her wants. He'd wanted her soft, helT
less, dependent. She'd seen. even thef
something he'd been blind to-soms
thing he'd blinded himself to: tina
love, by itself. was not enough. Tha
it could poison, as well as feed.
But she had won, among he rest q
her spoils OF victory, the thing she In
originally set out to get. His frient
ship and respect. Friendship. he r.
membered her saying, was u thing 20
mad to earn. When you'd earned It,
couldn't be withheld from you. Wei
1t was right she should be old that
smade to understand II to the full. IL
couldn't ask her to come back to HIN
hut she must know that her respet
was as necessary now to him as she
once said his was to her. He must SC
her and tell her that.
He stopped abruptly in his walk. III
bones, as the Psalmist said, turned I
water. How should he confront thi
gaze OF hers, which knew 80 much an
understood so deeply-hc with N
memory Of his two last ignomlnlous CT
counters with her behind hlmf