davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1918-03-23

Copyright. lVlb' oI ue
ktYT seems to me-" said Lucille the
Waitress as the Friendly
Patron took a seat in the res
taurant, IL just have TO make three
or our wrong mlsjudgments a week
in here while sizing up the person
alitie, OF the victims. II just SHOWS
that nothing is absolutely definite In
this world. Some OF tho lime you're
right and the rest you're wrong OF
stewed. How's that for q loglcai
sequence. eh2"
ITS logic. all right"
..That's how l look at IL now
there was a man in here to-day ina
rove mo the wiIlygrubbins when II
come TO Judging him. He's all dressed
no Il n reuben glue-you know Win
h%aIfalfies Just like you read about IN
the funny papers. When he fiies on
a claim at the trough l figure It's
ua for the rural stuff. so l DO a
swish up to him and say:
"'Wal, 81, haow's yer apperti'er
"He looks up at mo n says
Would you kindly endeavor to procure
o., me a small steak OF unusual EN-
aerness and excellenceT
"pirht away / see where I've mis-
Judged him wrong and it's rather un-
cuiIting to me, So / try my best To
er.etify the i~nsinuation.
",Oh., l says. then you amt q reg
ular hayseed?
~ reside onto a farm he says pu'
I'm from the city,
"'Well,' I says, you must pardon
me- child. There's many flower born
70 blush under the wrong camera
nawge.'
.He takes II good-natured and
shows a pleasant intent As he argues
with that p~ar-excellent steak he says
70 me: Farm life is the only life
D,d Won ever see a barn dancer
81 think he's Kidding me. you know
40 l tust reply; what kind OF q
dance does the barn do-a turkey
trotT
"A barn dance he says, st!n-like
Il, a dance In a barn. That's plair
enough
"oh. hol So he's getting peevtshl
I ace it's time to break on diplomatic
relations, so | say: Then | persum'
that a square dance is a dance pulled
of in a square. ike Sherman Square
or some other little beauty spot IL
our wonderful city,
"He looks at me a minute and says.
Wen just forget the dancinA idea 10.
the time being, Now. where can | 20
a shaver
ION your face l says. Their,
wasn't nothing new or particular.
likable about II. but It seemed to Il
The evening world., 1918-03-23
Lucille tn Waitress
Bv Bide D dl e

z %. CThs New York Evening Worm.
in fine. He gives me n look and
says:
docs the Jokes cost anything In
hereT'
mo 1 say~ They don't come
extra
"T notice they don't come extra
good he says.
Nov. don't sympathiEs with mo-I
deserved It There wasn't any use
getting into a ~provocation with him.
but it's up to me TO make q return
sally. 30 l says:
"'Them whiskers ought to be re-
moved I'd like to meet you faos 70
face
For a minute he's got . far-away
look. Then he says;
"'By the way. II your name
Deslees7'
mo I tell him. Tt's Mcorooty,
why7 Do you want TO send me a
Christmas present by pastel post next
winter2'
mot exactlyl' he says. But I
thought It might be Deslees.'
"'And why did you thought thatr
I ask.
Because he says, you're Eabby.'
SAY. listen, brotherl l turned onto
my heel and l went TO the kitchen
and bawled out the chef good. He
needed 1t and l needed to get 1t out
OF my system"
Didn't you get even with the be-
w~hiskered fellow2" asked the Friend
ly Patron.
Even with hlm2" came from LuciIa
SAY. didn't have to. That par-ex-
celleht STEAK done It for me. He
blamed ear broke "A coupla hacE
blcuspidors trying to eat it,"
The evening world., 1918-03-23

some people are so dull that even
tue most cutting sarcasm Is wasted
on Observation-Disclosures Record.
Atter a young man has blown In all
ms money on a girl she often shows
htf gratitude by marrying some other
fellow.-ChicaEo News.
II Is proposed that candy be intro.
uuced as "A part OF the menu OF the
soldicr.-Los Angeles Time8,
II all mon were really IN every re-.
spect equal all would want TO Riv,
orders and none would ho willing 10
take thom.-Albany Journal.
Folks who cultivate the habit OF
hatred end by hating themselyes.-
plnghRmton Prose-.
The evening world., 1918-03-23

q %. The New YORK Evening worldl.
I'VE must see hat the army is we'll
shod." interrupted Mr.. Jarr. Foot
ner, who runs a shoe store down
town. told me In Gus's the other
night that Napoleon said An army
fights on Its feet And by that
Napoleon meant an army had 10 be
we'll shod. Footner told me that the
regulation army shoe was radically
wrong. and that he. Footner, had pat
ented an army shoe thai was guar
anteed TO prevent blisters on long
marches"
"Shoes!" sneered Lieut.. QUINN OF
tho Dental Corps. why. Washing
toms gallant army had no shoes at
Valley Forge"
YES" said Mr.. Jarr. but II you
will remember. no fighting was done
at Valley Forge. The army suffered
without shoes. left bloody footprints
in tho snow. That shows the brave,
courageous hearts OF our forefathers,
but you must admit II would be
somewhat difficult to charge over the
oarbed wire entanglements OF No
Mans Land OF to-day without shoes.
No. Footner was right. An army
fights on its feet 1t MUST have good
shoes!"
The Southern Army in the Civil
War fought practically barefoot the
last years OF the war" persisted
Lieut. Quinn. TT was only when their
teeth gave out because they had few
II any dentists with the Confederate
Army that Leo surrendered. No. as
Napoleon says. An army fights with
its teeth"
Il thought you said Napoleon said
An army lights on It's stomach'2''
Mr.. Jarr retorted. and he yawned
1t was a fatal opening. "Oh!" cried
the newly commissioned army dem
fist, although | am an army officer
! mustn't forget my private practice,
so 10 speak. | notice you have a cav
lty In the second lower bicuspid!"
Ho took Il probe from an inner
pocket OF his military Jacket AND
raped the tooth smartly. A thrill of
pain that left a duh aching behind n
followed the blows OF the probe, and
MIR. Jarr was led Off. the first wal
prisoner Of the militant DR.. Gilbert
Quinn.
The evening world., 1918-03-23
Hits From SHARP Wits

Variety Is the spice Of life. Even
the actress who IL welded TO her art
a seldom resist the temptation OF a
divorce.-Ph!ladelphia Record.
The young chap who wears no
would die for her sometimes finds It
mighty hard 70 make n living for her.
-BInghamton Press.
There Is one advantage In being
your own boss-yuu car work over
Chicago News.
A charity thief who has been steal
ina funds donated by generous peo-
pie 10 some OF the activities OF tho
war has been givon a penitentiRry
sentence. That ought TO holp.-Los
Angeles Timcs.
The evening world., 1918-03-23
Toy DOG CALL

A TOY DOG which, at the word OF
~ command, will rush from its
kennel Is n Of the ingenious
products OF those whose business It Is
to please the children. A nicrophone
is placed inside the kennel, A sharp
noise causes II to vibrate and come in
contact with a piece OF metal. This
closes an electrical circuit. equipped
With q small battery and connected
with an electromagnetic, The pull OF
the latter on It's armature releases
the catch OF the spring and out DoDs
the toy animal.
The evening world., 1918-03-23
A POLITICAL MEDICINE HAT"

A RoCK-RIBBED Republican pre-.
~ cinct In the South Is an oddly
OF which Texas lays claim to a
few, One OF these precincts is known
as Mountain Springs. and In the ma
tional election its eleven votes &c
unanimously for the Republican
Presidential candidate. Mountain
Springs canno. boast OF my telephone
or railway connections. but It has a
mail service once a week. 1t was
nearly a week after the last national
Election Day that tho precinct Chair
man took the returns to tho county
seat.
who was elected?" asked the
countryman OF the first nan he met.
wilson was the reply.
"Wilsonl" he retorted, why, he
didn't get q single vote at Mountain
Springs, There must be Something
crooked about this lng."-Eyery-
body's Magazine
The evening world., 1918-03-23

pre- p airing
machine has
been intro
duced.
BY elIrni-
mating about
third OF
the manual
work asso-
ciated with
food prep
%aratlon. IL
r 0 m o tea
Ell cheney
and clednu-
ness IN ad-
dttion to
c o nservinE
MechanlcA
The evening world., 1918-03-23

The sun shines
bright and there
is laughter in the
air.
What Is II all
going to mean to
yo u d o y u
know that in q
few days you are
going to turn
your watch for
ward and h a e
The evening world., 1918-03-23
LAWS LIKE OTHER LAWS.

n PEW YORK restaurant and moving picture house proprietors
need to &c. it into their heads that Thursday and Sunday are
y still Eighties nights" by a law that isn't wholly toothless
because it's young.
Last Thursday there we're between 500 and GOO violations Of the
rule f~orbidding the turning on of unnecessary electric light signs.
Two hundred warnings were sent out. Deputy Fuel Administrators
Norman has had to order the electric current turned off in the estab-
lishments of the most fragrant offenders.
Eighties night is still required in this city two nights a week.
and nobody is to be excused either for not knowing the fact or for
deliberately ignoring it.
The number Of restaurants that will have to close for twentvtou
hours, beginning next Tuesday at midnight, because they dericd the
beefless and porklcss day order, is eighteen, As against ffty-seyep
last time.
This marks improvement. AT the same rate another week should
find all New York restaurant propretors, so far as meatless dav ie
concerned, in the ranks Of the loyal and ~law-abiding.
The evening world., 1918-03-23

Go ahead. dig those trenches and let's see II we can't live
down and forget a silly opposition that tried to make out Cen
tral Park too pretty to BIO mixed up with patriotism
The evening world., 1918-03-23

The first great German attack on the British front was
checked with heavy German losses. with sufficient repeti-
ton this can become as decisive as anything else.
The evening world., 1918-03-23
Kitchen Food Machine Sapes
Time and Labor.

Tor large residence kitchens
i medium-capacity model OF a
highly-deveIoped electric food
The evening world., 1918-03-23
What Does This Spring
Mean to You?
By Sophie Irene Loeb

CopyfEht, 1918, By the Proas Publishir
IT has come early-earlier than
usual. the spring. We have had
tho warmest March day In Year,.
The evening world., 1918-03-23

"Art artists" says the Mayor. should take A vacation
until the end OF the war"
Right Leave 1t to law lawyers and public Office officials
The evening world., 1918-03-23
TIL Jarr Family
D.. D. M-Gn
COPYRIGHT, 1918,
~ The pree fNIblishin ing 90,
THE New YOrk EveninG WoridI

oOpynEht 1918 By U. Pro. PubushinG %. lThs New YOrE EreninI wotdl.
The evening world., 1918-03-23

oo,rtrs,, 1911. b, ts Pres. PubNaAinl %. nn' New T@f Evening Word
The evening world., 1918-03-23

doubt" Tor the Confed
spy. Instead, they loci
A report OF the '
In a New York newspa
tanned this sentcnce:
The Springfield herald., 1918-03-08
LOCALS
Girls statement will
Help SprinRfield

sour stomach or gas and prevents
appendicitis. 1t has quickest &C.
tion Of anything we eyer sold.
S. E. Speckmann Drug Co.
The county legislators are in
session.
II. Amrine was over from Villas
Tuesday.
AuctioneerRussell was in from
Elder Tuesday.
Lockwood this week painted a
sign for our ieweler.
Uncle Charlie Wilson was up
from c. l. Wednesday.
w. o. Brown puts himself up
into December of 1919.
r. 3. Woolsey this week makes
it one more for Joycoy.
Notice. the sale ofEarl Taylor
elsewhere in the Herald.
!, Mrs. W. c. Fergurson has re-
covered from her sick spell.
4 Fred Twyford-Stonington-
Herald medicine-$3.OO worth.
/ j. N. Whitlock, Dean and Bas-
ON were up from Rodley Tues
day.
Philip Butcher of West Flats
was in Springfield on the 1st
inst.
S. H. Osteen and Giles Green
were here from Richards on the
first,
]. Il. F. Opfer of Clyde helps
out on the Herald $500 worth
this week.
; The biggest stock sale in Baca
county-see bills and elsewhere
In Herald.
Frank Welch and sons Lonnie
and Dick we're here the FIRST Of
| the week.
]. N. Turner Of Monon helps
ont the Herald strong. bog $500
worth this week. "'
Land and Loan man Terry and
Fred Harris were down from
Two Buttes Tuesday.
!, Mr.. Newberry. who has been
helping out in Springfield. has
moved onto his claim
The meatles mealss have been
cut out. and Tuesday now is
/ the only meatless day.
A. duty to your children-to
lbuy each one a war stamp, and
to let him know that it's his.
a. E. Bosley of Elder reports
As acres of wheat and 20 acres
of rye goodas could be this time of
year.
]. Zimmerman of Effineham,
ILL.,, this week has himself set
up an additional nile post on our
books.
O. K Osteen and Adam XII
, censki, two leading farmers of
Richards, we're in town Friday
school district matters.
Jimmie McAdam q short time
ago lost his right hand fore fin
ger-cauvht under the chain of
a motorcycle. He h as been get.
ting along Veil since.
Robt. n Dickey, tile farmer
land nan Of Rodley. last week
bought the Zirkle garage and res
idence, and will undoubtedly
move to Springfield in the early
future. Mr.. Dlckey has been
one of the most successful land
men in Baca county, and we are
predicting big success for him
in annexing the garage to his 9th.
er business.
BY picture sent to his farther
Johnnie Huston shows that he
has taken on some good, solid
avordupois, and in letter states
he has probably written his last
letter from over here" He
says there are $1,000 soldiers
there, and all in good trim.
When he wrote it had been rain
ing there a week. with good
prospects Of continuance.
B. H. Jones, Fred Twyford,
s. w. Matthias, j. A Huston, Jay
Waldren, Thomas Konkel, Will
Wsldroupe. and whole lot Of
-Al .n.ko~. L. a NJ aro,,ud Ros
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

these are at least 500 years If they
are q day old. The country and
climate is certainly nice fields and
gardens nice and green the wea
Their like the incest days IN spring
A fellow cannot help but get up
IN the morning with his best Sun
day smile.
Am sure you have read about
the t0rpedoed Tuseania. Want TO
say that the boat We were on
wasn't very far away, and we
figured we were pretty lucky in
getting away without a scratch.
Took as two weeks TO make the
trip across. When / come back
the boat that III ride on viii have
10 beat that
Well, work here is soon going
10 commence in earnest. What we
got in the u. s. was only a pre-
liminary.
So the n. II. S. Is still holding
up their old rep. Hope Rich won I
neglect 10 write.
Am certainly feeling fine. Write
soon. Love 10 all,
George
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
Letter Prom Cecil Coz

The following are extracts from
a letter received from Cecil Cox
written 10 his mother and dated
February !.
The weather is certainly fine
now. guess spring has come
The villages look very pretty. The
fields are all green and the red
tile roofs Of the houses show up
nicely.
We have a piano IN the Y NJ.
G. A. now. We certainly appre-
ciate II. Had q picture show last
night. Pictures were about as
good as they put out at Nezperee.
Taking il al around we are hay-
ing q fine time.
Ny address is. Co. b. 2nd L. s.
Engineers. A. +. F. via. New York.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
How,s This7

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case 81 cafarrh that cannot be
cured by Halls catarril Medicine
Halls Cafarrh Medicine has been taken
~ catarrh sufferers for the past thirty
I'VE years. and has become known as the
most reliable remedy for Cafarrh. HalYs
Cafarrh Medicine acts thru the Blood on
the Mucous surfaces. expelllng the Poi
son from the Blood and healing the dis
eased portions
After you have taken Halls cafarrh
Medicine for a short time you win Ser a
great Improvement in your general
health Start taking Halls catarrh Afedl-
cine at once and get rid OF cafarrh. Send
for testimonials. free.
+. .. CHENEY & co. Toledo. Ohio.
Sold by al Druggists. TIC
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

There are to DC found occasion
ally upon the walls of old brick
houses. at about the line Of division
between the first and second stories.
fat pieces Of iron five or six inches
in length and shaped somewhat ike
the letter ~S.v The use of these ar
ticles was clearly brought from Eng
land, whore it is still continued, and
there are a curious origin and mean
ing attached to them. The figure
in question is an early symbol Of The
sun. Ii is still used in Hereford
shire and other parts Of England.
There one is informed that the
reason for the particular form Of
these irons is that they were made
thus in order to protect the house
from FIRE as well as from collapse.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

To the patrons Of rural route No.
The price Of feed having adj
vanced to such a figure as at pres
ent, and believing that it is work
ing such a hardship on our faith
full old mail carrier, / suggest each
patron voluntarily donate Soc per
month until July /, when the car
riers get a raise in salary.
Believing that we live IN the
best country on earth and have
the best government on earth, ]
viii head the list Of patrons Of
route ] with 4 bits a month until
July ! Sign at Herald office.
VIM. Eastman
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
Townlev In Bad.

Fairmont. MINI. March IL
While A. C. Townley. president
of the National Nonpartizan
league, was inl Fairmont today
awaiting action of the Martin
county grand jury, which tomor-
row viii consider a charge of cir
culating sedition pamphlet
against him, Sheriff o. G. Lee
slipped over from Jackson county
and arrested him on a charge of
conspiring to obstruct the ma.
ton 5 military policies.
Townley was arraigncd before
Judge c. NJ. Tiff and bound over
to the Jackson county grand jury
in $1,000 bail. The bond was fur
nished BY four Martin county
farmers.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

Our boys are doing their part
in the trenches. They are fight.
ing every form of shot and she'll
that human fiendishness can CON
cieve Of, and are being victorious
and are carrying the Stars and
Stripes triumphant into the
trenches OF our Teuton foes. They
are doing their part, depriving
themselves of the pleasures Of
home. living in tents and dug
outs. wading mud knee deep, fac
ing the furious charge Of the en-.
envy, and dying at their post Of
duty. They are doing their part
Say brother, are you doing your
partf What have you deprived
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

FROM Geo. Fox Over Thar.

Old Nozperce boy, who was il
transport with Tuscania, writes
TO homefolks Of trip across and o.
experiences on the other side.
To his sister Mrs. +. j. Arm,
hruster in Moscow:
Somewhere in England.
Dear Anna and All Arrived
safely at the above named land,
and found everything 0. X. Was
two weeks on the water and had
begun 10 think that there was no
end to Il.
Made a vow in the middle Of
that deep blue sea that ] would
not go back until there WAS a r.
r. built across, because | was =
victim of that disease they call
sea sickness. Am sure ! viii
change my mind, tho, when the
time comes.
Would like 10 write YOU all
about my trip aud just where 7
am. but conditions will not allow
IL.
VIII say. tho. that | saw great
sights and when we were just
day from port was IN the vicinity
where a clever piece Of submarine
work WAS played, causing the
sinking Of the Tnscania which
you viii have read about when
this reaches you.
Now about this place. Can you
imagine the grass nice aud green,
also garden truck. and the people
threshingi Well, this is Il. Nice
country assure YOU.
Am enjoying getting our Z. 5.
coin changed into lbs, shillingr.
and pence.
Well. Anna, from n0w on my
letters won't be 80 interesting.
About an ! can write is that ! am
well. Lave TO all,
George.
Somewhere Ia England, Feb, T.
My dear folks ] arrived safely
on this side Of the pond. after
anything but q pleasant trip Two
words will explain the cause Of
ny trip being spoiled, "Sea Sick.
ness. il Is called. but ! call il IN {
digestion.
In spite OF my health. folks, ] \
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14

The Sunday school will meef
ut the usual hour, w. r. Emer
son, superintendent. The slogan
for next Sunday is "0ver the
Top"
The Christian Endeavor will
meet at $50. Topic, "The Art Of
Living With Others. Leader
Mrs. LLOYD Stevens.
There viii be preaching at II a,
M. and at z 80 p. m. The morn
ing subject win be, Eternal
Life. " In the evening the subject
viii be. ''The Whole Life of
Christ" This subject win be
treated in a way especially inter
esting to young people.
The regular annual offering for
Foreign Missions win be taken at
she morning and evening services.
Already there are indications
that we shall come near to reach
ing our apportionmcnt, IL we 10
not 80 beyond it. Your presence
and gifts will add to the spirit Of
d good work we'll done. Come
thou with us and we win 10 thee
good. " +. M. Finn, Minister
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
OUR WORLD AS A MOON.
Fine Display Full Earth Would Give
20 The selenItes.

20 the Seienites.
We're we transported to the plan
ct Venus a peculiar set Of Eiewi
could be obtained Of our earth. en-.
aiding us TO see ourselves, TO some
extent at least, as others see rs
Venus is about the same size as tho
earth, is somewhat closer 70 the sun
and has more atmosphere than the
earth. When the earth and Venus
are nearest together they are Of
course on the same side Of the sun.
and in consequence II this the earth
does not see more than a very small
part OF Venus Illuminated, but We
nus, on Che other hand, sees all OF
one side OF The earth illuminated
and is therefore able to claim she
has something thai takes the place
If moon, for the earth 10 Venus
II this time looks very large and
bright, almost as much so as cur
moon does 10 us.
II we could see all the illuminat-
ed surface Of Venus on these occa-
sions we should have quite a distinct
second moon. When We do see all
Of her Illuminated surface she is on
the opposite side Of the sun from
us and consequently at an enormous
distance, yet she is So brilliant as
to prevent us from seeing her sur
face distinctly.
But TO our own moon We appear
in the best light as a moon. A full
earth as seen from the moon. ac-
cording to astronomers, is a very in
spring sight. 1t can at once be
seen why this is necessarily true.
The earth is several times larger
than the moon and would appear in
the heavens as a disk about four
teen times the size Of the moon. II
would probably shine with varia-
bic light, due to the shifting clouds |
If the earth, though the light is of |
sourse reflected from the sun, and /
he reflection is due in part to the
upper surfaces Of the clouds.
The outlines Of the continents Of
he earth appear very clearly to the
noon as if they were formed in
'apier mache on a globe. Cities Of
comparatively large size could be
made out with ease in case observ-
rs were there to make them ont.
The intensity Of the reflected earth
ight would be as much as fourteen
Moons and would enable the Selen-
les, if such there we're. to read OF
Iork in comparative daylight.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
Visitors to Moscow Should Take
Receipts.

Visitors to Moscow this week
should take receipts for their rail-
road fare If they buy their tickets
on or after Wednesday, March l3.
The railroads have granted a re-
duced rate Of one and 0nc-third
fare for the round trip on account
OF the basket ball tournament.
The visitor should take a receipt
for his or her fare to Moscow and
have this endorsed by the proper
officials of the basketball tourna-
ment and the return fare viii be
but onc-third Of the regular fare.
This win apply to everyone COM
ing TO Moscow during the Is, IA,
rs and 16 of March. The tickets
are good returning up to March
II. Those attending the Red
Cross convention to be held Thurs
day. the basket ball tournament
and Friday, and the
publishers convention Friday and
Saturday may secure this rate.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1918-03-14
Lutherans Over Tor.

The Lutheran drive for $50.
600 in s days met with gratifying
response. The last report shows
that they not only reached the
goal. but have gone far beyond
the million mark. One Of the
greatest missions Of the church to-
day Is 10 bring the church to her
sons who are with the colors.
y. J. Holm.