The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-11-14
home and induce the folks TO Duy
more War Savings Stamps.

home and induce the folks TO Duy
more War Savings Stamps.
In our campaigns out west, sa'u
Barnes, II found that humorous stof-
les about the war sell more stamps
than stories of carnage and horrors
But it seemed to me that the long
faced element considered it s1creiis-
ious to put few laughs into the wal
game.
1.-The funniest thing about this war,
said Barnes, us the seriousness Win
which most war workers over nere
take-not the war-but themselves.
Coming over on the boat was
young millionaire broker from New
York. He was Of draft age. by the
way He had signed up with the heo
Cross.
~ feel" he said to me confidential
ly one day, that Col. Harvey D. GID
son, head of the Red Cross in France,
will want me close to him in his work
over there. We have been close friends
for years and he knows my abilities
along financial lines.
"The other day I was visiting big
Red Cross hospital and back in one
corner of a dark room I thought l
heard familiar voice. 1t was the
voice Of the young broker. And what
do you think they had set him doing?
Counting children's chemises in the
ware'D 1use!
"ns at the front the other day ]
met college professor and he COM
planned to me that he was not being
cordially received.
"'In one Of the huts last night he
said, some of the boys We're positive
| ly rude to me. There were two of us
on the program. myself and a sleight-
of-hand man, who positively had moth
| ing to offer in the way of mental slim
illus. He could do a few thicks with
an egg and swallow sword but he
didn't know the difference between
prose and blank verse.
NOW, was going to give the boys
talk on the history Of French
| chateaus You know, I've written a
book on the subject. l hadn't been
| talking five minutes before some OF
| the boys began calling out to me to
'cut it Short Then others began
yelling ''bring on the egg man." and
| time" The uproar became such that
could not go on, whereupon l left
the stage to the sword swallower who
appeared to amuse them greatly. I'm
going mack to Paris. / fear our sol
ders over here are not interested III
worth wllle pursuits.
"There's a society spinster from our
! mart Of the country who has nothing
but money and time on her hands. she
tsigned up with some long-named or
ganzation which permitted her tt
come to France in a nifty uniform
provided she paid her own expenses
sBetween sohs she told me hel
troubles the other day.
"sOh. Mr.. Barnes she said. 'Thi:
morning 1 collected seven Of the lovli-
est American boys on leave IN Pari:
and started to show them the city
You know my idea was to entertain
them and keep them interested ans
amused that they would not want u
go astray I had planned to shop
them the tomb of Napoleon, the Tuil
! Ierles garden. the river Seine, the Eife
| Tower. the Ferris wheel Notre Dam
Cathedral and other places OF mora
and intellectual nature.
: but, when we had gone about
: square past Maxim's cafe, I notice
: for the first time that two Of my lad
were missing. Thinking they wer
lost. l had an American military pc
lice go back with me to look for ther
over the same ground, leaving tn
other five boys waiting on a corne
for us to return.
J "sYou can imagine, Mr.. Barnes, m
. horror when I found the two boy
sitting at little table in Maxim
7 right but on the street, drinking som
terrible, greenish-looking substance
| They positively refused to come alon
Il with me- and I found that / had n
| authority to make them do SO.
Then There Were But Two.
"I then went back to rejoin m
| other five boys but. to my chagril
> found only two waiting for me. Wit
- apologies they explained that the othe
/ three had gone on ahead and woul
wait for us at the Notre Dame Catht
dral.
mot wishing to lose the last tv
of my party 1 called taxi and starte
| with them for Napoleon's tomb.
large crowd was congregated aroun
the entrance when we arrived ar
: while l was bartering with the drive
= over the fare, which 1 thought w;
excessive, the boys stepped out of tt
4 taxi into the crowd. l paid the ma
B but when l turned to join the BIO!
both of them were gone-lost in II
crowd. Sometimes I think that my e
n forts are not appreciated
MY own observations are that tt
d American doughboy. in the war zor
hunts the Hun. in Paris, hunts I
\ fun"