The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-11-16
HIS COSTLY DERBY
AbunLa It Reasons Why Owner
ClIngs to HeadpIeC2.
Merely as an investment 1t Must &c
Conceded as Deserving Care, and
Is Worthy of Respect as
Thing Of Value.

It Is only a plain derby, beginning
10 have the permanent duSkincSS of Il
peach. in spite of frequent trips IL the
I hat specialist for rehabilitation. 1t
has no claim whatever To any ind ."is'-
ualiSm, outside OF the initials. which
are inside and don't show anyway. 1t
Goes not do me justice. either. And
at any angle 1 place it, it gives me a
topheavy appearance.
So why do | cling to 1t? Why?
Because anything that costs as much
money as that derby. deserves not only
care as an investment, but respect as
thing of value. People don't laugh
at the Kohinoor diamond. do they?
They never poke fun at the Great
Ruby? Then why should they he
amused at my derby?
1t cost n great deal of money. The
first time I bought it, I near when
selected 1t in the ha: shop and paid for
it. suppoSing that 1t was wholly mine,
the price was four dollars. The pay
ing over of four of my dollars to the
hat man gave me, at least to my SIM
pie one-track mind. sole r'~ht and IT,
tie against all pretenders until the end
Of the world. But only simple mind
could believe a thing like that.
Alas like many other things in this
surprising world. it was not my derby.
Ii nev has been and probably never
will he. For I have been buying 1t
ever since the first sale In the shop,
almost like one does on the inStalment
rlan. Only the instalment plan entails
q set expenditure each week or month;
YOU know just what 1t Is going to be
| and can be prepared for it.
But when you get your derby from
q hat boy or hat girl in hotel, restau-
rant, theater or wherever the grafters
are nermftted. you do not know what
il will cost you 1t all depends on the
hauteur of the hat boy or girl in
charge. Some of them have the ap-
pearance that anything rendered less
| than fifty cents would be faux pas be-
yond thought. Then the surroundings
| play such an important part in gaug-
ing the amount of blood money. or hat
| It. A mass of towering palms. much
marble and occasional rugs, means a
| ransom. Less marble and only one or
| two palms mean less indemnity. And
| simple mahogany and no palm mean
| ten cents.
Why do men ever select such
piece of headgear in the first place!
| l know why they hang onto it after
| they get it, but what can be the rea-
| son for wanting one in the beginning!
| They are not beautiful on or off the
| head. They are hard to keep clean.
Also they dent very easily and grow
| shabby without an effort. 1t is mys-
| terry.
There is no sentiment in my case
| toward my derby. / respect 1t, the
same as l respect anything that costs
| lot of money. but I don't love 1t.
don't gaze at 1t with the tenderness
l bestow on my tulip bed, nor do l look
at it with the fondness which my old
briar pipe inspires. These I would
| lot part with.
But anyone who will advance to me
| one-tenth the sum which I have paid
/ out may become the owner of one
black derby, trifle fuzzy perhaps, but
still capable Of exciting the envious
eyes of hat hovs and hat girls.-Harry
| Irving Shumway, in Judge.