davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
SEEN ON THE SIDE
Our Garden.
BY HENRY EDWARD WARNER


We dug our garden up to-day,
Plucked out the stones. pulled up the hay,
Removed tho slate. extracted bricks
Worked out somc various twigs and sticks
Heaped chunks Of clay upon the. lawn
Worked faithfully from early dawn
And bathed ourselves in Precipitation
In said intensive cultivation.
Where we had planted rows of beans
We had to tickle in-betweens,
And all around the egg-plants we
Piled heaps OF earth industrlously.
Hard clods wep chucked. and lighter soil
Rubbed fine, and warbled at our toll:
Struck bits of glass that always linEer
In new-built plots to cut a finger;
And bent our backs with honest zeal
Then hauled the hose out on it's reel
We squrted water here and there
And yondcr. hence and everywhere
Until tho place looked like a food
And all the garden turned to mud
Then-then we went to bed; and saw.
II ever night bcmonncd the day,
That was the night! We thought TO slecn
AS infants. where the angels keen
Their vigil. But. alas! alacls!
Who sleeps we'll with broken hack7
Friend Hoover, Q Most Thrifty Hit.
We've done our bit, we've done our bit.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Bnlnnce of PatHer.

P. T.. g.. Portsmouth.-Balance OF
power Is the condition which exists
among nations when no one power or
dynasty is sufficiently powerful to en-
danger the Independence of other ma
tons. Tho principle involved is as old
as as history: for It Is nothing more or
expressed in diplomatic terms. II one
nationaor group Of nations, becomes so
powerful as to threaten the indepen-
dence OF less powerful neighbors. it is
natural for the latter to form alli-
ances in solf defense and thus restore
the balance wherein lies safety. Wars
have been waged 70 preserve the bal
ance OF power as they have been waged
to destroy 1t. Between 164S and the
fan Of Napoleon. in 1915. Europe was
almost continually at war, the preser-
walton of the balance of power being
the customary excuse for the endless
Encouragement of alliances. The great
coalition against Napoleon was one
more attempt to secure the same end,
and since his fall the theory has still
held It's place in Europe's diploma y.
The balance OF power was one OF the
underlying causes Of the present war
in Europe.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Foreign born citizens in the United States,
OF whatever nationality, who are true to
American ideals and loyal to the cause Of the
allies will unite with the American people
In celebrating the forthcoming Independence
Day In this country on a big scale Repre-
sentatiVes OF twenty-four different nationali-
ties signed the petition to the President re-
garding the proposed celebration The petit
ton within itself affords striking evidence
of the responsiveness that the immortal doc
ument OF 1776 has awakened in the people
throughout the world as its meaning has
sunk deeper and deeper into their conscious
ness with the passing Of the years.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Costa Rica is the twentyhrst no,io, ~,
has declared war on GERMANY Tho n,i,;,na..
ano naval forces which this newcomer anon.
the oell1gerents will be able to throw into
the conflict may not prove a wcigbtv factor
put It's action is another earnest Of unitv
OF sentiment and purpose in the Western
Hemisphere, and such II is gladly hailed
py Inc nghting nations of the entente. Ger.
many to-day is the most cordially and widely
hatee natlon the world ever has seen, and
one by one the countries with which sha Wv.
been nominally on terms OF friendsbir 49,
dropping out OF the neutral list Not IN
centuries, perhaps. as long as history ri
her barbarties is read, can she hope 10 he
able to achieve that respect and regain those
friendly relations which were hers before
she plunged the world into blood
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Those who cannot go have given. By
many millions the 100000, 900 fund for the
req cross has been oversubscribed, and still
the money comes pouring in by hundreds OF
thousands from the nations four corners
Americans heart is big and its pockctbook is
deep, but OF easy access when once il has
oeen convinced that cause is Just ONLY
wars horrors could bring a realization of
what the Red Cross does and what it stands
1or. In this realization money will flow
pientifully SO long as the need exists. Rich
mond' with its marvellous subscription NJ
approximately s45O,oO0, is only an examnle
OF what loyal american communities can and
are willing to do =" NV
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
spenker OF Hon.e

B. A. R, Hopewell.-The once Of
Speaker OF the House OF Representa-
tives Is OF great Importance on account
OF the power of the Speaker In shap-
Ing and controlling legislation. which
is now much less than formerly His
influence on national legislation was
believed by many even to exceed that
exerted by the President. 1t carries
with it 80 much political prestige and
as n stepping stone TO the presidency.
but up to the present time only one
Speaker has been elected President.
Viz. James r. Polk. Of Tennessee.
err, lifelong aspirant for tho
presidency, but did not attain 1t. James
G. Blaine, Speaker. 1869 to 1875, was
nominated and defeated for President
in 1884.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Charlie Schwab's language may not meet
with the fullest approval from the literary
precisian and the stckler for chaste phras-
ing, but it warns the cookies OF the great
American heart when he says in good old
fashioned Anglo-Saxon that "The Kaiser is
in for the damnedest licking any one ever
got" And it may be said that Schwab, as
the nations master shipbuilder, is doing
his damnedest' to make that licking early
and complete.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Sub5cFibcr, South Boston-T q
length OF time II takes to obtain a
patent depends partly on the nature
TO be patented. and partly on the ski
with which the case is presented. TherN
are forty distinct divisions In tho
charge a specific class or variety OF
work. Each application Is examined in
the order OF Ming and some OF the
divisions arc considerably behind in
their work. An application may be
acted on promptly or only after weeks
or months.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

The War Department has added two-ffths
of an ounce of tobacco to the daily ration
Of the army in France. This modest allow
ance to an army OF 100000 men will
amount to over 5000 tons year, but the
item OF cost is OF minor Importance, as with
the boys in the trenches in France it is both
a necessity and luxury.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
information Bureau

Inquiries regarding almost my tonic.
excepting on legal and medical sub
1ects' nre answered free. Az all In
konhi letter n sclf-nddrcsxcd, stamped
envelope is required. Address Ths
=, INES Dispatch Information Bureau,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
To Can Sninnch.

greens over carefully, blanch fifteen
minutes. plunge into cold water. drain
and pack tightly into jars. Add one
water to cover IL necessary Place
rubber and cap in position, partly seal
and sterilize two and one-half to three
and one-half hours.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Census bureau.

p, w. N, Luray.--The last census
was taken in 1910 and the next one will
be in 1920 There have been thirteen
censuses taken. The first was taken
in 1890. under the supervision Of the
President: subsequent censuses, to and
including that OF 1910. were taken
of\State. In 1s49 the supervision of
the census was transferred to tho
newly organized Department of tho
Interior. and continued under the con-
troll or that department until the pas
sage of the Act of 1903. creating tho
Department Of Commerce and Labor;
by this act the Census Bureau was
transferred to the new department.
Congress. by act approved March 6.
1902, made the Census Bureau perma.
nent bureau OF the government.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
COnfriIIifcd-

s. o. s.. Sir,-Please use this joke ask YOU
why Is charity like Chinese joss house. and
you, not expecting anything. fall for 1t and
ask why. and say: because p joss house COW
crs multitude All Sins" If you don't yet
this. ask the foreman of the COMPOSING. room
Printers are awful clever guessing conundrums
JOHNNY JOKER THE CuT-UP."
Richmond. May %. 1918.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
TUESDAY, MAY IS, 1918.

The Madison Square Presbyterian Church,
New York, which ediice was designed by
Stanford White, whom Harry Thaw slew, is
to be sold and possibly torn down. and the
last service will be held next Sunday The
pastor, Rev. Charles II. Parkhurst. d. D.,
however, has been placed on life salary of
$4,000 year.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Comm emf.

The compulsory labor movement emboldons
us 10 say what We've wanted to say for n long
.i'he' o"t nam the nerve. you know. But now
'hht knocking the loafer IS popular here goes:
Inc man who is nothing more than the son
OF ms 1ather is Of just much use to the
world as his fathers hcadstone-that.ss all
ielo" VINO ioafs because he has money isn't
"hit better than any other vagrant And a
sewer digger who digs good sewer Is = mora
eminent cltiSen than any man who hanps
around with fancy name and pays his clnh
dues with unearned increment
lucky! o"ih
20 along slower and you'll get along faster
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
To Waterproof C.nyn..

y. r. j., Lexington.-Was the can
vas cream, then soap we'll. using water
IN which has been dissolved about one
iourth pound to the gallon of soda;
the soap solution should FIJI the fabric
canvas should be soaked and rubbed
In the following solution: sulphate OF
aluminium (alum will do), ten parts;
Suiphate or copper, one part; water,
100 parts; vinegar (strong), ten parts,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Battlcships Camounagcd.

S. w. c., Lawrenceville.-The Navy
department is enlisting the services
OF distinguished marine artists as vol
unteer camouhedrs. Battleships are
camoufaged by painting the sides in
Such manner as to make the ship
at sea-
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
First Moving Pictures.

y, q M.. l!amsburS.-The first
In non pictures were exhibited by N.
neynard In 1877. They were called a
nard.s optical theater. The f,rst sue
Gesstul long strip OF film was made in
Nochester, y. 4, In 1889 "
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Much Ado About Nothing
A Little slice o. Life,
DY ROY X. 3IOULTON.

Our. friend Hank Jordan's vie iee
Told Hank that he would have
or they would have to stop eating ifns away
nsS w ens to al tie FeP boss aD a sS sa i'd
or mc sod E bs 6 GIye me more per week
hs @ Is SSsE yd to 7 zish:
50 at ase w yanr sah hay' oy Wife suffer
Hank telephonGd his wife about it.
A%% ,sa s1D'ns as * m ssisfy
Then the MARKET make 20 mn mee s,f fhe H. C. Of l.
ITS good thing, because the II. c. of L.
cent" '''O'"'"s ABOUT 10 per
IS, So Hanks ,s wife went back home and tele-
Or t fst s Wsss rass in salary
oas OF eye4y a 4sIss ii taking the 10Y
The peach crop has been killed again, for the
ti ITO, that we may box forward to a very pleas.
Thai Thai the the RIrusSians arc the
al ali 3 of Wht and ,, Eys' Great 10,
That there be no possible
Relationship between MS and the Kaiser
Is a eo i,;H,r greatly
the aS SeaT mems suits will cost SIS each
"n' , fe'' sven nf ef ne ' Sc cost suit
TO bear in mind few facts.
\, A barrel barrel is comfortable and roomy and may
ne mas ,as'Gned by straps oyer The shoulders
sl9 or - SD during the next year.
- person can keep rather by STAYING IN
TO transact business az usual. ~
The long-taiicd ovcrcoat will he a pood S-iona
next winter The matter OF q suit will MOI
make so much difference " "
what can YOU expect from guy who Is
chum Of the Sultan OF Turkey? va "
n ne iarm t complain that potatoes are so
numerous mat the price is going down rapidly
=, 'i Az; any OF these gentlemen tried to buy any
Gently? " ''e' re-
The proprietor Of the wagon circus was en-
EaGlng ms people for the coming season He
his cuff. ' ''e" vi
lie was standing the corner receiving an
piicauons Tor Jobs when man came along a nd
in the band ' player
man. i' "SSu inc circus
.-I can play one tune" replied the applicant
n"t tune is Inc stars and Stripes Forever
miles" ~ ''oA' ~ LOT nine
You're engaged" said the circus man. hand
ing him blank contract 1880
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

General Kornilof should come to Amorin.
ana compare notes with General VIII, IN
es'aDish the truth Of history" as To which
has been Killed the most number OF ,imos
'uarez Is convenient point at which ~
stage tho meeting ~
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

= Theodore and Will have met They have
4smiied, shaken hands. sat down together at
table and together they have dined. Events
lof recent months have so overshadowed these
two celebrities that their meeting will mo-,
issall forth the interest and speculative com.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

cong hfn bit" for his country. The
Word was coined In the present war in
Ing and. IT is applied TO divers per
the country. but refuse 10 do SO.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
The Optimi,t,

say. 81, that fellow elected Z Congress.
he's happy zap 'snt he? Always lookin' for
ward hopefully, y'know"
Ebenczer?" ~
Why hear he's done introduced reso;u-
ton t put his picture on tn postage stamnam
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
American Red cro.. ,n E

Mrs. j. Z. F., Staunton.-The first
american Red Cross unit to serve in
France under the official sanction Of
inc United States government was
Base hospital OF Cleveland, Ohio.
Ihis unit arrived in England, May II.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Literary Note.

Shakespearean society SAYS that nAon,a ,,,o
say bacon wrote Hamlet are trying to hoe
credit; yet. between Bacon and Hamlet we
sense a subtle connection.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

"Binks has made hit with free treat at
his restaurant"
What? Something free in a restaurant?
You're ~"
nix now, nix! Honest! He doesn't punch
the ticket any for air from the electric fans"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
CharconI Eph'. Dntly Tbour,.

Hlt don make no diffunce t. a blind man Of
n rose is red" said Charcoal Eph in MOOD
out oey ain no pusson git sweeter smell
Jackson" ~ ~
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Danville never fails to find way n keen
On ' inc front page. Its latest Gamer was tho
)ailing Of its jailcr
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Doubtful.

DO YOU get thet-snin, sniF!-odor. Jack?"
II get II, Mande: what about it?"
I'm just wondering whether that woman
who passed drives a motor car or has only
been cleaning her gloves"'
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
To-Dny'B o. Henry.

"one OF the chief punishments of you men o
ill-gotten wealth IS that when you do repen
You find that you have lost the power to max
reparation restitution"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
neIgian Towns Wfth TWO Nan..

Inquirer, Observation-Disclosures in
Belgium have two names because the
country has been under different rulo
at different times and the different Ian.
guages have prevailed. Some OF tho
cities and towns have Dutch, French
and German names. and some Spanish
also
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

ADDRESS ALL COMMUNICATIONS TO The Times
IS Dispatch, and not to individuals
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

PUBLISHED every day In the year az 10 south Tenth
nshtns Co.. Inc. Charles 4. Hnsbrook Editor and
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Meaning Of Stacker.

NIknnfnK OF Stacker. :"
Miss A. e. W.. Ash1and.-A Stacker 10
a person who, under one subterfuKe
or another, avoids or socks to- avoid
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Poets, Agency.

We've decided to open agency for poets
Send in your brain, children. and let read
en-. Rates:
Reading-Couplets. 10 cents: quatrnins IL
cents triolets. go cents; rondeuX two bits; sixty
lines. s237
Criticzing-Favorable SIS; adverse. free.
SellinE-Eighty per cent proceeds postage
TO be furnished by victim.
Rewriting into photo play. so cents.
Correcting-Limps, 10 cents each; false feet
legs. SO; spelling, s2.45.
Original poems furnished any theme. So
n quart. dry measure.
Reading love poems-s5o per foot.
''''Come along and get OF the draft!
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

Friend Hoover. Q Most Thrifty Hit,
We've done our bit, we've done our b,t,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

What can you expect from Euy who "a a
chum of the Sultan OF Turkey? "
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

ne FARMERS comp ain that potatoes are so
numerous IIn that the price is going down rapidly,
rave any OF these gentlemen tried to buy nv
OF the French fried variety in a cabaret re-
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

man mover realizes how stupid he Is until
he understands that any jury Of twelve men is
legally composed Of his peers.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Consolation.

When Providence distributed hair and brains
there lot of people who had brains
enough to know they could get along with
out hair.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

fifth time this year, which is n certain Ind -,
ton that we may bok forward to a very pIeas
ant summer. 80 ''~'"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
Juveniles.

willie! Willie! Stop pinching baby brother
this minute,"
Jaw. shucks. Nav! we're playin' automobile
an he's tn horn"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

TELEPHONE; Randolph i.
Private Branch Exchange
connecting with ali depart
deDt1,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

How to fool tho burslar-Leave your diamonds
the dininE-room table and lock up your
coal In the jewel box
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28

BRANCH OFFICES: Wash
inXton. 14l6 New York Ave
nue.; New York CITY. fifth
Avenue BuiluinEt Chicago.
Peoples Gao Building
phiIudelptia. Mutual Lie
lSuilulnE.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-05-28
RNhulullD Giurps.DisputIb

Entered January e., 1905. at the Post-Oipc: at
Richmond. Va. secoud-cass matter.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1918-01-16
Newspapers Hit Hard.

The cost of production has hit the
newspapers very hard. One feature
that we don't like about publishing
such facts is that some people may
accuse us of advertising our own mis-
cry. The Duluth, Mimi, Herald says:
Anybody who thinks the newspap-
ers, country and city, haven't keen
personal interest in the problem of
the high cost of living is badly mis-
taken. Newspapers in country and
city are wrestling with the toughest
problem in the history of newspaper
making. Many of them are giving ii
up in despair and closing shop. More
will be forced to that bitter solution
before the war is over. The country
weekly can and should increase its
subscription price, which has al
WAYS been too small when it was any
where below two dollars"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1918-01-16
House and Pension Money Burns.

Mr.. and Mrs. Ed George who re-
sided in one of the old land mark
homes in Auburn, were burned out
Saturday morning. The particulars
make it a peculiar affair. Friday az
ternoon the old people discovered the
house to be on fire, help came and the
fire, was extinguished, and the furni-
ture, which had been removed, was
replaced in the house, and Mr.. aid
Mrs. George went to spend the night
at the A. Conkey home. The next
morning the house was discovered to
be on fire again by A. Williams, and
before aid could be brought, burned
to the ground with all the contents.
The loss is estimated at $500, with
$500 insurance With the contents
was roll of 800 in bills, pension
money, which they had forgotten to
take with them.-West Union Union.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1918-01-16
BOARDING FOODS.
Seems to be Good Deal HOarding i'm
Country of Many Commodities.

J. F. Deems, of Burlington, of the
United States Food Administration
has issued the following letter to all
county administrators;
There seems to be a good deal of
boarding in the country of many COM
modities. The present situation III
sugar is more due to this than any
other cause. 1t is obvious from the
very large demand for flour il wood
en- barrels and the generally increas-
ed flour demand that this trade is al
so affected. Salt, matches and other
commodities have also been drained
from many markets. The causes seem
to be combination of greed fear
and in some places of propaganda.
It is obvious that movements Of
this sort could quite well bring the
whole Administration to disaster. For
instance-if every home bought a
barrel of -four it would represent c1e-
fifth of our entire annual produc-
ton. 1t has proceeded far enough N
prices difficult; for the mills, al
though running 100 % normal capac-
ity, are unable to keep pace with de-
mands. 1t clouds the whole issue OF
conservation, for while the same per-
sons may eat weekly less -four, we
are simply at sea to know what our
exportable resources might be. We do
not believe it is happening in the
larger cities with few exceptions as
all statistics Of flour car arrivals and
departures indicate a considerable
reduction of -four intake in those
centers.
With as little commotion as posi-
BILE, it is hoped that you will ask the
press of your county to refuse adver-
tisements of special prices on sugar
and flour, whether from distributor
or manufacturer, the scarcity Of both
commodities making it unnecessary
to make extended efforts to promote
the sale of either or both.
boarding is not thing which can
we'll be handled by newspaper pro-
paganda, for the sensational press al
ways overstates it and the result is
to increase the evil.
1t occurs to us, however. that il
might be possible to filter down to
your workers a verbal emphasis Up
on the paragraph in the new home
card and thus perhaps create some
public opinion il the local commnni-
ties upon the subject.