Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-07-22

i i
Much Ado About Nothing
| BY ROY X. MOULTON.
wel-knowm firm of manufacturing chemists
( advertiscs In the street tho fact that they
| have "a simple remedy which will make So
ciety woman's hair grow" What wife
wants to find out is whether it will grow hair
on 4 lady who is not in society.
There arc many questions which must remain
| unanswered.
The name Of Fortress Monroe has been
| changed TO Fort Monroe.
| Those who responsible for the change aver
| that there back handed slap al suffrage
| in this ALL
y thing of JOY would payday be.
y time OF mirth and jubilee.
II twcre not for those tendSh
We all round when payuay comes
a broueh, before the army cxemp-
tion board the other day. II had been charged
tina, he had visible means of support
What's your occupatio asked.
Il Amt got none. rcrlica the man. II am
just doing nothing-just circulating around. so
speak
The chairman turned to IL clerk
Please make ao:c." he said that this ma
is Withdrawn from circulation for the period OF
the war
What has become of the old fashioned ma
who used TO stick his head OF car win
dow and get cinder in his eye
lie is the same old gink who used lose
his watchkcy.
person who INDUCES in the insidious habit
OF playing the slide trombone. or slip horn.
II were. can't lie too careful. According to a
local scribe Amry Higgins who tortures u moor
slide trombone for the Amiiyvllc brass band.
was banging away at The stars and Stripes
Forever" the other evening during concert
in the town hall, and. when reaching for a low
note. shot his out sled length ard the slide
hit new $40 bonnet being worn by Mrs LATE
lurdS AID knocked said bonnet int,. cooked
hat. Mrs. rurdy sitting tho first
with her husband. When her husband got
through with .tmry nineteen folding chairs were
laid up for repairs and the artistic a,mos phere
Of the concert MAS entirely broken
Il takes 10; OF sand be solder.
.Asin. the chari;ii' Huns to make a stand
Bnt, though IN other thin.s there is "A shortage.
Thank God. we've never set out of sand.
Babies.
The biggest baby crop il years is being har-
vested. according 10 statistics from WashinEt
Old Or Stork IS no Stacker this year. He is
right tho job. The rEurcs for 1871
available. and they show that the baby crop
went over the top with whoop and hurrah
We thought we noticed it nosier around
here than it was last year. but didn't know the
cause Since read the story from Wash
inEton. have been looking around. Ycstcr-
day counted twcnty-eght babycabs in
BLOCK. tf course. il is long block and is
lined with large apartmrn, houses. bu,
maintain that twenty-eiEht babyclbs
time is some showing.
aside from the babies in the cabs. ,here were
o%actly lis chdrei .ust beyond tho baby age
playing in the street. No n,tter what Else be-
comes shy in this country. il doesn't look as
though we are ever going to oui Of popu-
.stiou.
News from the Austrian 'front.' is to tho cffec,
that General Wurm has been able to exc
cut, turning movement
An Eastern said to friend tho other
day tina, his wife h I'd bv-D missing IT, three
laya. The friend said ne had had worse trouble
ih4r THAT. His automobile engine had been
missing for week
Bishop OF Exeter urged England to celebrate
July srccial cay of thanksgiving owing
to Americas aid in saving Great Britain.
That doletul. creakins sound you notice. Was
the old German Kins OF England. George III
;u-n!i.g over in his sa:cophasLs.
Il lighting for c,"-Kaiscr Wilhelm.
so am /. and. 10y sum. In, going to have it,
-Cnc!c sam.
Now that have had regular little war
scandal and have 30, OF the way
everything vii! he -, .ly
Political sagac.;y 10 women possess it?
Listen. Congresswoman Jesnetto Rankin is
soin. for the senate. So many Of the
Montana tho front tina, her election
Viii be cinch LOOKS like the time. the place
and tho girl.
one woman ont W.s, married I'VE soldiers
Just FOR ,ha,. hope she doesn't get a cent
o! Insurance money.
Th~ SCR Man OF Europe dies in a While.