davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11
MUNSTER

Mrs. J. Kuhlman and son Elmer, were
ing.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. Munster and daugh-
ter Myrtle. were Hammond shoppers on
Monday
Mrs II. F. Kaske and daughters saw
Fred Stone in Jack OLantern" at the
Colonial in Chicago on Saturday
The Munster school will give a pro-
gram and box social Thursday evening
Dec. 18th.
Mr.. and Mrs Kuhlman and son Wi
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11

we're conducted by Rev. C. A. Brown.
There were several from out OF town in
attendance.
Mrs. Wilbur Livers left last evening
for her home in Big Sandy, Mont. after
a visit here with relatives and friends.
Clyde Foster of Evanston. Ill, visited
his parents. Mr.. and Mrs. Albert Foster,
here. yesterday
Mrs. T. Sargent is very seriously sick
at the home Of her daughter. Mrs. P
NJ McNay.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11

non-cssential during the war. will be
allowed TO continue 'N.eir activities now
and will in some measure replace the
activities Of the plants working on war
materials.
The convention win continue for two
days. 1t was twice postponed during
the epidemic of influenza
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11

lam went to Lansing on Monday to the
funeral of young Schultz.
Fire partly destroyed the Monon de-
pot here last week a valuable structure
end ornament of this town.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11

The announcement was made re-
Gently that the marriage of Miss
Flora Petersen and Lieut.. Col. w. NJ.
Duguid- McCombie of the Royal Scots
Grays would take place at Brompton
Oratory. The bride is the younger
daughter Of William Petersen Of
Inverness. Her sister. Brenda, was
married to the Earl of Wilton, an
officer in the Royal navy
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1918-12-11
LOWELL

The funeral services OF Frank f. Nell
son were held yesterday at p. m. They
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

Skipper can't be found. He then, amid
much profanity from the Top, proceeds
to take about half an hour to find the
First Loot, who is next in line. If he
finds him, your little band of sick pill
grims get started in the direction Of
the infrmary about an hour later.
In You Go!
There is no place to sit down, unless
a crate Of pills happens to have been re-
Gently opened. In that case, you may
be able to share a corner Of it with some
fellow sufferer. There are no magazines
to read-not even those that trium-
phantly announce the swearing in of
Andrew Jackson, as there were in doc
tors Offices at home. There is nothing
to do but to swap ailment gossip with
your next-in-lines. That is cheering.
Also, it helps you to rehearse your own
tale of woe.
Finally, the non-com in charge of your
detachment hollers out your name in
stentorian tones. In you go, and come
up to attention before the khakied
gentleman with the twisted grapevine
on either side of his neck.
whats the matter with you?" he
begins.
You tell him, although you know it's
no use. If it's on your outside, he'll turn
you over to an orderly to paint it with
iodine. If it's on your inside, he'll tell
an orderly to give you a couple of Co.'S.
But, just on the chance that he may
like your face and your salute when you
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
BY BRAN MASH

The oldest and best families in the
A. E. F.-a body which includes both the
F. I. F.'s and the F. F. VS., those who
came over in the Mayfower and those
who came over in the transports-still
adhere to the quaint, graceful and alto
gether pretty custom Of saluting all COM
missioned officers; and the officers, in
their turn, still adhere to the custom Of
returning the salutes Of enlisted men.
The same custom is prevalent in the
army of France, the British Expedition
ary Forces, and the other social organ
izations now spending the season in
Europe.
Because of the multitude of uniforms,
and the variations in insignia now
prevalent in France, much confusion is
apt to arise, however. Accordingly, few
simple rules may herein be set down, for
the guidance Of the newcomer and the
brushing-up Of the oldtimer.
In general, it can be said that the
best rule to follow Is this: When in
doubt, salute. If the guy you salute re-
turns it the chances are that you were
right. If he doesn't the chances are that
either he is wrong or you were wrong,
or both. You can't take back salute
once you have tipped it to bird, but
you can cover your breach Of etiquette
by witty bon mot that will more than
make up for your faur pas.
For example: If, in the gathering
dusk you mistake Y. M. c. A. fan for
an officer and salute him, the proper
thing to do is to stop him and say, cob,
hell! I'm damn sorry! Honest, thought
you wuz the Old Man himself" That
puts the Y. M. guy entirely at his ease
and relieves him of any feeling Of en-
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

"Wake up in. the morning, feelin' mighty
ill;
Go to the hospital to get quinine pill.
And if the doctor kills you, he doesn't
give damn
He's only doin' his duty by good ole
Uncle Samv
Yes, seeing the doc-beg pardon, the
lieutenant or captains very different
proposition when you're in this mans
army. To begin with, you don't go to
see him on your own hook. Oh, no!
First, you've got to get by the Top.
You hurry through breakfast that
pains you every inch of the way going
down in order to get up to the Tops
office at sick call. The minute you get
inside the door
"Well, whattell you here for? Tryin'
to get outer the hike?"
"Honest, no, Top" you begin, with
what wind is left in your sails after that
greeting, "I'm sick-honest to good
ness, / am-couldn't sleep wink all
night, and"--
Hump" snorts the Top. Been
drinkin' some Of that cider, Ell? That's
enough to put any man on the bum.
That sorter stuff don't go!"
"Ain't had drop O cider since pay
day." you retort, getting hot. Honest,
tell va, Sarge, I'm blooey! No kid
din'v
He Eats EN- Alive
The Top looks you over and through
and through. Somehow he doesn't seem
impressed, but, after mumbling some
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
ETIQUETTE TALKS FOR DOUGHBOYs
Saluting Manners

barrassment he may have felt at not be.
ing able to salute in return.
In case field clerks hat cord m;..
leads you and you snap one at him. later
discovering your mistake, just say II
him. real intimatelike, 3Do you mind
walking with your coat unbuttoned in
the future so / can lamp your collar
ornaments? Thanksw He will proh.
ably take the tip and thus your salutinp
(and otherwise hoisting) arm viii be
saved.
When saluting officers Of other armies
use your own method, and not theirs
The chances are that they get so tired
of answering their own mems greetinpx
that they welcome the American one as
change. Besides, if you try to do theirs
you are apt to get it wrong, and then it
isn't salute at all, but mockery.
When in a town full Of officers Of aIl
armies, and when you are hazy on Yust
what the insignia means-whether
they're non-coms or otherwise-the best
rule to follow is to salute every Other
man who looks as though he might rata
one. If they all rate salute, then you
get so per cent hand-batting average.
If only half of them do you get a 100
per cent mark. Take it either way. Won
can't lose.
In all cases care should be taken.
when elevating the hand to the face.
that the thumb is tucked carefully in.
If the thumb hangs loose, like one Of
those swinging doors back in the States
it IS apt to come into too close prox.
unity to the nose. When that happens
the salute is robbed Of its original mean.
ing, and Is ruined beyond repair What
is worse, the poor cheese who doesn't
practice thumb control usually gets A.
credit for good intentions.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
A FIELD NOTEBOOK
WHY is IT?

That they always send you oodies Of ar
tillery gloves from home the minute you've
been transferred from the artillery to the
motor transport service?
That. right after the distribution of Gig
arettes from the company fund, you get
slathers of 'em from home-whereas you
hadn't had a butt of any kind for month
before?
That, after you've been promoted, you
can't get any chevrons for month and
half to show your pals who you are?
That, just after you've gone out and
bought pair of puts your own, the
supply sergeant takes it into his head to
issue better ones than those you purchased?
That just after you've done your own
laundry, at the expense Of parboiled hands
and broken back, payday comes along.
bringing plenty of laundry money with 1t?
That, after you've taken one OF those
billet baths in a mess tin, you find out
there are perfectly good shower-baths only
a quarter of mile away, and that they
were there all the time you were wrestling
with the sponge?
That, after you've paid 100 francs to
French dentist to go over your teetn'
regimental dentist arrives in the town VINO
would do the whole job for nothing?
That, just after your barrage OF letters
to a girl back home has begun to take
effect and her replies are becoming better
and better with each succeeding mail, you
suddenly discover that you don't care about
her at all?
That, on the very night that you decide
to skip mess and buy feed Of your own,
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

ated from you. He wore, if his practice
Afforded it, frock coat and glasses and
spats and all the other emblems of gen.
tility. If he was young doctor, he
didn't Young doctors are lucky to be
able to wear anything.
But, no matter how formal his appear
ance, the doc was usually polite and
kind. You stated your ailments, helped
out now and then with an encouraging
word, with an expression you had for
gotten, but which helped to explain your
case, with kindly smile that heartened
you to go on.
"Um!"
Cunt" the doctor would say, stroking
his facial landscape gardening, when you
had concluded your tale Of woe. "That's
too bad; quite too bad. Let's see what
can be done about it. You had better
lay off for couple of days, at any rate.
Take this prescription and get it filed
and administer one Of the tablets inter-
nally every hour and three-quarters,
varying them with the powders l will
also prescribe for you. Then, about
three days from now, you might come in
and see me again.
my impression is that you are rather
badly run down. You must have been
overworking. Take it easy from now on
Get plenty of sound sleep, and eat regu-
lar and wholesome meals. A few days.
rest, in an even temperature, ought to
put you on your feet again."
But in the army? You know the song
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

come in, you tell him-that is, as much
as he will let you. It's never very much.
In short, in the army medical prac-
tice you are adjudged guilty until you
prove yourself innocent. To prove your
self free from blame for having contract
ed what you have. you have to answer
such questions as:
"Where were you last night?" "What
have you been eating?" "Why didn't
you change your socks when you came
in?" "How long have you felt that
way?" "Why didn't you come in beforsT
(You want to say that you didn't dare
but dismiss it as sounding fresh
"Where do you feel it?"
The cross-examination over, you are
handed over to an orderly for your =.
C.'s or iodine, as the case may be. You
feel low and miserable, and altogethef
you look forward to day in quarters
by the old stove, resting up and getting
into shape. But on your way out you
glance over the clerks shoulder at your
company's report And there, opposi1s
your name, are the two worst nasea
words in the army: Light duty"
Light duty! You know mighty wen
what kind of work your Top considers
light duty. With heavy heart y0u
snail your way back to the Tops on'es
to get all that is coming to you, trying
to hum as You go:
you're in the army now,
You're not behind the plough;
You'll never get well, on this side q ~
You're in the army nowi" s
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
the cook dishes out xesa steaA,. fr1eds and
apple pies
HOW PUDGY LIKED IT

Fair, fat and past 40 is this secretary
of the Red Triangle. Has the smile that
won't come off. Every doughboy within
miles around the hut knows him and likes
his CHEEKY personality. That is why, per-
haps, the opportunity came Pudgy's way last
week to spend q night in front line
dugout. While he was there deafsning
barrage rained around the dugout for . full
half an hour.
Every one wanted to know afterward how
Pudgy liked it.
"I fear" he confessed, and the everlast-
ing smile broadened as he spoke. shat I'm
no braver now than before. Maybe I'd bet
ter 60 up front some more and get sort Of
used to it."
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

He sends out his company clerk to
find non-com of sufficient presentable-
ness to take the sick report up for the
Skipper to sign. After about half an
hour spent in the search the non-com
comes back and reports that the
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

thing about a too ALFRED sick list for
the outfit, he puts down your name.
Then he proceeds to eat up alive the
other unfortunates who have answered
sick call. If any of them survive, he
puts down their names, too.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

CHEEKY? OH!
1t used to be "the gin mill" back in I'll
ole N'Yawk;
He used to lap 'em up with side-kick "Bo,"
But since he's lit in Frawnce it's quite a
different line o. talk.
He pulls above his wang blang "Sheerio!"
He struggles with briquet as he lights
casper" lean
And airily describes the bloomin' "show"
Agin the stingy bar Of some estam,anet
old beam,
And instead of "How!" he toasts it:
"Cheerio!" A. Mex
After the Salvation Army had given
certain company some cocoa the company
advanced successfully against the enemy.
After the war the S. A. will be justified
in telling folks how many miles the bows
got to the gallon.
The long-range guns batting average
for the last few weeks is about 900.
1t seems to be popping up to the in
field.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

EOORSCORE fathers
u liberty and dedicated to that Mnenare aahde
and
dedicated canlg endure We battlefield Of
Atfed final those who here
altogether and should
ecanntc The
The world will little remember forget
The living dedicated here
thus far b advanced tn rather for be here dedicated
from these honued dead increased o last
highly these dead
dhao,e
people shall not perish from the ABRAHAM LINCOLN
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

Member going to see the doctor in
the States? Not cheerful performance
at best, was it? No? But going to see
the doctor-beg pardon, the lieutenant
or captain-in the army in France is
something else again. (Voice: "You said
something thereby
Back in the States, getting in to see
the doctor was as tedious process as
going on guard. You were ushered in by
darky boy in a bartender's uniform, or
by nurse in black gown, white apron
and cap, into sort of receiving room
where, amid the files Of all the defunct
magazines from the Martin van Buren to
the first Cleveland administration. YOU
sat in solemn state and awaited the
ordeal.
On the wall above you was that pleas
ing picture by Mr. Rembrandt, "The
Autopsy" with all those leering Dutch
medicos in their black campaign hats
squirting impolitely at the innerds of
very defunct Dutch gentleman. Ugh!
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

Poor Fish-The gink who didn. know tho
war was over in Russia.
Poor Boob-The Ash whose pack comes
undone on the hike.
Nut-The poor cheese that goes out and
does setting up exercises by his lonesome
without being told so.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
WARTIME SEE-SAWS

The Tommies describe those big belts q
steel that are sawed in alf to make arched
roofs for dugouts as elephant iron.f The
French gamin describes them rs "reckers.'
Whenever two youths Of France discover
one of these half sections on Its back with
the ends sticking up, they balance plank
across it and merrily proceed e. see-ssw.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

There was, as usual, the talk about the
long range gun. One of the disputants,
also as usual advanced the theory that
when the shell reached certain height
it ignored the power of gravitation.
"Sure," said the skeptical sergeant,
'like the colored guide down in Virginia"
"Tell u.s." said an obliging private,
"about the colored guide down in Vir-
ginia."
"Well," said the sergeant, "this fellow
was sitting on the seat of his victoria in
front of hotel. A stranger happened
along.
"'Drive yo' all out to de pet'fed forest,
sah?'
"'What's the petrifed forest?' asked
the stranger.
"'Why, ev'thing pet'fed. Trees, ev'-
thing. One place where bird was flying
f'om tree to tree, an dat bird jes' pet'fed
right in de air between de trees"
"'How could that be? The power of
gravitation would prevent that
"'Wha's at, sah?'
"'The power of gravitation'
"'Yes, sab. Dat OF gravitation, sab,
dat done pet'fed, too.'"
The second lieutenant wheeze is get
ting as numerous as Ford stories used to
be two or three years ago. To COM
ment to this effect a second lieutenant
said: "Well, all right. Maybe we're the
Fords of the army. We give the best
service for the money, at that"
At the hour Of bayonetting to press
the Giants were still so far ahead that it
looked as though they would again get
second money in the world series next
October.
BLESS HIM!
A man we like
Is a certain Sarge;
He furnishes
A rhyme for large.
What will be in the peace compact it is
hard, at this s. of the g., to forecast; but
the guess is hazarded that this proviso
will be In it: that If, after the war, any
body says "Potato" to German hostili-
ties will be considered on again.
SAYS THE BATTERY
We shot a round into the air,
1t fell to earth, we knew not where;
But later we were told, by Gosh!
That it had slain a hundred RocLes
FRENCH AS SHE is SPOKE
A word of praise
For Henry Moore
He hasn't yet
Said: "Bony sore!"
Also, please
Cite Johnny SWANS;
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
FAITH

heard the cannons' monotone
A mile or two away;
But in the shell-torn town saw
Two little boys at play.
From what was yesterday home
heard the cannons booming;
But in the garden / could see
A bed of pansies blooming.
Along the weary, dreary road,
Forspent and dull trod;
But in the sky of spring I saw
The countenance Of God.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
Into the Chamber of Horrors

After about an hour and a half the
.darky boy or the nurse peered out from
behind some folding doors and stage
whispered you to step forward. Your
hour had come. With last clutch at
your already overclutched hat, you
stepped into the chamber Of horrors, as
steadily as you could
At length, you faced the doctor. He
generally wore beard, in which to
staxs up tAe axcess microbes that eman-
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

What will be in the peace compact it is
hard, at this S. of the g., to forecast; but
the guess is hazarded that this proviso
will be in it: that if, after the war, any
body says potato" to German hostili-
ties will be considered on again.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
The Listening Post
He never>calls
1t "Axeless Banes."

1t "Axelcss Banes."
At late hour last night the fapjacks
in certain mess we're heavily oversub-
scribed.
And now the boys want Shakespeare
in ragtime A corporal confides that the
troupe in his bunch are going to put on
"Jazz You Like It"
A SQUARE GUY
Freddie, old kid, take this from me
l know this world and what it's made
One on the square has naught to be
Afraid Of.
The German guns and bayonets? Nope.
Such deadly things need not alarm him.
Why, even all that mustard dope
Can't harm him.
He's just as safe in No Mans Land
AS in the Mississippi Valley;
Safe in all places on the Rand
McNally.
Once, in my trench, when things were hot,
sang as though my Jane could hear
me;
A rat came in and he did not
Come near me.
Wherever I may chance to be,
I'll sing few harmonic stanzas-
Upon the plains of Picardy,
Or Kansas.
Still of my smiling Jane I'll sing,
No matter where the fates may drop
me;
And nobody nor anything
Shall stop me!
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
BLESS HIM!

A man we like
Is a certain Sarge;
He furnishes
A rhyme for large.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

And now the boys want Shakespeare
in ragtime. A corporal confides that the
troupe in his bunch are going to put on
"Jazz You Like It."
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

At late hour last night the fapjacks
in certain mess were heavily oversub-
scribed.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

FKENCH AS CHE IT'S Spoke
A word of praise
For Henry Moore;
He hasn't yet
Said: "Bony sore!"
Also, please
Cite Johnny SWANS;
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16
NINE

Sir: How many times do you have to
land in the Listening POST before you
become an Ace? G. S. M.
New-York tribune., 1918-06-16

And there ought to be some decoration
for the regiment every one of whose
members goes through one day without
using the term "camoufage."
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1918-08-15
HOW TO SHIP NEW POTATOES
Prevent Losses by Loading Them Care
fully Into Observation-Disclosures
Barrel IL Good.

prepared by the United States Depart.
ment Of Agricuiturel
Shifting of the loads IN transit weak
and partly filled packages. and lack Of
ventilation are responsible for losses
Ia many ears of new potatoes which
are arriving ut markets. The loading
Of diseased potatoes Is also responsible
for considerable loas. In some caaes
shipments that show scub wilt or late
blight are practically worthless when
they reach the market.
The doubie.headed barFeI appears TO
be the best package for new potatoes
that IL now ia general use II proper
~ made It protects the potatoes as
well as holds them Ia plnce. Much
less breakage has been found In cars
where the barrels are loaded on end
than when loaded on their bIlge. Strips
should be placed on top OF the lower
layers Of barrels for she upper layers
to rest upon.
Loading barrels % khelr bilge IL not
"A safe practice lhless headIIners
Iatlns n preyefit heads bulgipg) are
bse II II said that the use OF head.
liners would prevent nlne-tenths Of the
breaknge IN all types of loads with
Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1918-08-15
WEED OF ANCIENT PRACTICE
rtiotory Tells Us That Roman Farmers
Stored Various sucoulent Feeds
for Live Stock.

Prepared by tho United States Depart.
uent OF AgrieultureD
History tells Of Roman farmers who
.arefully chopped fine various green,
mcculent feeds aud packed them In
,lts for use during the winter season.
The practice seems 20 have been com
non and the feed kept we'll From
hese eariy times Il has been good
Practice TO store various green crops
n pits or alright containers for feed.
ne to stock The silo is the present.
lay result, and farmer who raises
I've stock cannot afford to be without
me The advantages OF the sIlo are
numerous, but some OF the more I'm
J9rtant are:
1. Green. succuIent feed Is available
throughout the year,
2. A silo stores-&nore feed for less
;ost than any othN&fafnl buIilIpg.
3. The feed is hdhdy for use.