New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1918-07-05
Featherine
His Nest
-
By WILLIAM HAMILTON OSBORNE
a. The Y4il0nass

Hardshell Hopper is an unpatriotit
cynic. He admits he Is, himself. Its
only recently he came into the lime
light. Old Hezekiah Hopper died q
year OF SO ago and left two million
dollars. He left half his fortune to his
nephew. another young man Of the
name OF Latimer Cobb, aud the other
half he left to his other nephew. Hard.
shell Hopper. Hardshell is called that
because he's got that kind Of a shell.
or so it would SEEM. The testator had
this money all nicely invested In good
paying five and six per cent securities.
For about a year the young man
clipped their coupons and collected
their dividends. The war was in their
midst, and young Latianer Cobb sub
scribed to everything in sight. and got
his name In the papers and kept 1t
there. He must have given up as
much as fifty thousand dollars put OF
his million, to the Liberty loan. the
Red Cross, the Red Triangle and other
Things that came along.
but what I really want to do" said
Latimer Cobb, lis to double or treble
my money-then I'll give twenty-five
per cent of all 1 make to furthering
our interests In the war;"
He looked about him. He picked out
a good likely looking munitions stock.
II money had to be made out of the
war by munitions concerns he might
Ms well make some of 1t, then, as he
said, he would turn around and give
a lot of 1t to the war, and get his
name in the papers and keep it there,
right along. He was a patriot, he
knew he was a patriot, and he kept
saying 80. He was proud of it, in
fact.
But Hardshell Hopper wasn't-he
admitted that he wasn't. A friend of
Hardshell's who was going around SELL
ing Liberty bonds went to see Hard
shell about buying some Of the bonds.
Now. that's a pity" groaned Hard
shell Hopper, but fact is. Steve, just
this morning I invested my whole pile
in frst-class, gilt-edged securities. l
amt got a dollar left. Now, II you'd
been around here yesterday"
Next night Steve, his friend, came
around again. Steve shook him earn
estly by the hand. why, Hardshell,"
he cried, you're the biggest patriot in
this town. You've invested all your
mOney-a million or more in the Lib
erty loan. You're the biggest man
we've GOETHE foremost of our pa.
triOts."
Hardshell Hopper shook his head.
Don't get off your trolley, Steve" he
said, II amt a patriot. My cousin.
Latimer Cobb-he's a patriot-every-
body says so. But I amt. Why. bless
you. man, I've only been feathering my
nest"
you've put one million dollars into
this war;" said Steve.
"Tve. tucked one million away
where its safe and sound" drawled
Hardshell Hopper. "where l don't have
to worry about 1t. l got a security
that won't be taxed, and that's as gilt
edged as they make 'em, backed by
about three hundred billion dollars
worth of assets-and that's enough
for me. But don't you 60 calling me
names ] don't deserve. l amt no pa
tri0t. I'm only feathering my nest.
If you want a patriot you go to my
cousin, Latimer. He's the boy for
YOU"
Steve went around tOssee H%ardshelrs
cousin, Latimer.
AT any rate" he said to Latimer, II
can sell some bonds to you"
Latimer glOwed with patriotism.
"Steve," he said, II promise you you'll
be the boy I'll buy 'em of. And I'm
going to buy a lot. But just now l
haven't got a dollar to my name. I've
plunged on some munitions stock
there's been a flurry-it's gone down
on me. and l can't get out without a
post tremendous loss. All I can do is
to hang on like grim death. But the
that l make a handsome profit,
Steve, I'm yours. There's no man for
five hupdred miles around that's got
a warmer feeling for the old flag than
Latimer Cobb. l can tell you those"
But Latlmer didn't make a hand
profit-he didn't make any profit.
n fine morning his shares Of
stock turned worthless on his hands. =
The concern whose stock he'd bought
was as worthless as the stock. 4
As In a flash, I'M day, he found
himself penniless. He had to turn to
and arm his living. Hardshell Hopper I
gave him a Job that kept body and
together. But one day something ,
happened. It must be remembered
mat Latimer Cobb, like his cousin, F,
Hopper, had received for ,
n year at least, the income on those I
i've per cent securities that their dead j
had Invested in. So Latimer
Cobb had had an incOme-and he had
lied an income tag return. His in
come he'd been about nifty thousand
or the year-aad the present income A..
on fifty thousand dollars is consid. ,
.rable. But LAtimer Cobb. the young 4,
whose intenttsas had been 20 :
sood, and WHO was going to do 20 well /.
y the government, found himself with :
mt money to pay this tax. He wal :,
and he had had a large in !,
he couldn't pay his income !.
AZ. The government Jailed him-a .
cry proper thing to do. Hardshell :.
Hopper raised some money on his ].
liberty bonds, and went around and :
'ot Latimer Cobb out Of Jail. Then ;,
e took him back to his ONCE, .
"Latimer. son." said Hardshell Hop .