davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
A REAL PATRIOT SPEAKS.

WHILE there is too much pro-German and seditious
" talk and action in this country, we must not lose sight
of the fine patriotism of many Americans of German birth
or lineage. In a recent speech Julius Kahn Of California
a native Of Germany said, in speaking of those guilty Of
reasonable utterances:
I'VE must make an example OF these people, and do II
quickly. The man In this country who denounces this war
today, with his country in the war, has no business on
American soil The man who refuses TO contribute a
dollar TO buy Liberty bonds and support our boys In the
army, In my humble Judgment, is a traitor to our country,
III my boy and your boy are willing to die for our
country and q man without a boy closes his pocketbook
and wnl not give, he should be whipped out OF the county
by the scourge OF public opinion
That fairly we'll expresses how all true Americans feel
about it, and this is no fine to bubble with the other
kind. They are not Americans, nor entitled to be treated
as such.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Mkdls;%Ms6ess''
HDm NMfNe ZXG

Twenty Years Ago.
Guthrie's registration At Tuesdays
election was o26 and the vote 7l0. Ok.
lahoma Citys registration was SO and
the vote 74J.
Right Rev. Francis Key Brooke held
services at ST. Paul's Episcopal church
Good Friday
Twelve bars Of laundry soap for 2Sc
Nine pounds OF navy beans for Csc,
The 81. Louis & Oklahoma City
railroad company now building from
Sapnlpa. |. r., TO Oklahoma City, has
filed in the office OF W. NJ. jenkins,
territorial secretary, a first mortgage
against lis property to secure a bond
issue Of $4,000 in favor Of the ST.
Louis Trust company.
Bob Smith, who has been a resident
Of Ponca City for more than a year,
left on last nights train south to take
command Of a company in a regiment Of
TeNas Rangers. Mr.. Smith was with
Buffalo Bill for years and was one OF
his crack shots.
Fifteen Years Ago.
Mrs. Darling spent the week in Perry
o. T., the guest Of her sister, Mira
Wellerstedt
Mrs. Rock. the librarian has giyes
SIS toward the purchasing Of books fof
the Juvenile department.
Ben Davis will sing.a solo at the
Baptist church this morning. Mr..
Davis is one OF the finest male vocalists
in the southwest.
Mr.. and Mrs. Matt Turner OF Parn,
Ky, are the guests Of Judge and Mrs.
Turner Of this city Mr.. Turner 10
much pleased with the city.
Ten Years Ago. :
improvements requiring an expend.
iture OF thousands OF dollars are under
consideration by the Putnam park ran
ayers for this summers attractions.
The St Luke's Methodist, the Cumber-
land PRESBYTERIAN and the Southern
Presbyterian denominations are each
erecting new ediiiees.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. T. Harbour gave .
box party to see Lillian Russell at the
0verholser Thursday evening for their
guests, Mr.. and Mrs. John Alternately.
Of Purcell. Others present we're Mr..
and Mrs. {. r. Ames, Mr., r. \. Warner
and Mr.. J. L. McReynolds OF ST. Louis.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

Every once in a while we get hold Of a copy Of the
esteemed (by some) Congressional Record, and are reminded
again that the statesmsn's pay is fixed by statute, and
not based on earning capacity.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

to say about what he is going to do.
Nobody is going to put anything over
on him.
The reason why a man doesn't mind
paying s. and 20 cents war tax to
see a show is because he always frisks
through his big change to find a dime
when the collection is taken up in
church,
A woman is always willing to throw
out past performances and bet that she
can select a better husband for her
daughter than she did for herself.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Fooeyl

You know the man Of whom I speak.
Invariably his shoes doth squeak.
II can't be said OF Mr. Cole;
HE hath no music In his sole"
Maroon.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Our Toe Miller Contest.

' Allen w. Baehr claims that the old
est Joke is the one about the English
man, the Irishnan and the Scotchman
who we're drinking together and brag-
ging about how much money each had,
To show his contempt for money, the
Englishman pulled out a o~ne-dollar
bill, put a match to it, and lii his cigar
with it. The lrishman, not TO be out
done, pulled out a ten-dollar bill, put
a match to it, and lit his cigar with il.
The Scotchman than pulled out his
check book, wrote a check for $4,000,
put a match TO the check, and lit his
cigar with il.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Luke MeLuke Saws.

A Wedding Ring Is Not Always Ar
Exclusive Circle.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
GOSH

John Vennemann was a%rralgned this
morning in municipal court on the
charge OF passing a dollar bill raised
to a five-dollar bill, by affixing the
figure "S," on Mrs. Elizabeth Brand.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

We would be prosperous, too, II we
had been in the fuel business the past
winter. But what we started to say
was that 0. Little is a coal man in
Richmond, Ind.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

In the rural parts of Schleskig-
Holstein they speak of a place as being
a pipe, OF two pipes, or THREE pipes
distance, according to the number OF
pipes one could smoke while walking
there.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Ii That Sol

Dear Luke: Why don't you enter the
story Of the peacock in your your Mil
Ter contestl 1t is a beautiful tale.-W,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

He's dead, and he's 40 cold as Ter,
He oroaked today, did Oswald Loon;
He wouldn't listen 10 advice.
lie took 'em off n month too soon.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Rough Choice.

The burglars wife wa in the witness
box, and the prosecuting counsel was
conducting a vigorous cross-examina-
ton.
Madam, are you the wife of this
mani"
yes"
you knew he was a burglar when
you married him2"
yes"
"How did you come to contract a
matrimonial alliance with such a MANI
well" said the witness sarcastically
II was getting old and had to choose
between a lawyer and a burglar"
The cross-examination ended there
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

About the busiest period in the life
of a man is when he lands his first
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Paw Knows EYerYthlna.

Willie-Paw, what Is call money!
Paw-The nickel you drop in the tel.
ephone slot, my on.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Names Is Names.
Our Daily Special

Fannie Faircloth lives at Gastohia
North Carolina,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Firms Is Firms.
OH

The Bigger-ByerS Company IS doipI
business at Ranto, N. {.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Wuffl

Wuffl
A siege Of Helslngfors~o our cup
OF worry would diminish;
For, when It's soldiers are lined up.
The Huns could sec they're Finnish
Quill.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

The Thrift Stamp Ia a little thing,
IL only costs two bits,
But II will make the Germ-Hun sting
And give the kaiser fits.
Luke McLuke.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
RPp1iinn6.
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C6lNlMW /QL8
WELL AND ILL.

w HEN | am we'll | c~riticise all sorts
w and kinds OF human guys spring
w a clammy, cynic smile, and sa1
the race is full Of guile And when ]
hear how Neighbot Reed performed Q
good and kindly deed, | say. Its Evident
the skate will shortly be a candidate for
coroner or county clerk, and thus he's
getting in his work, Whene'er a man
plays that old game, when he assists the
halt and lame, or feeds the poor, OF
leads the blind, you bet he has al AK TO
grind" When | am sick the neighbors
come with jam that's made Of peach or
plum they feed the hens and milk the
COW, and sit and fan my fevered brow,
and stew for me the dainty prune, and
feed me nostrums with a spoon. They
let their work and business slide, to sit
through long hours by my side, to shoe
the blues and dumps away, and read me
tales by Bertha Clay. All through the
long and weary night they keep my ach-
ing from in sight, and always, at the
proper hour, they hand me pills and bite
tiers sour. And | can see, through aches
and smarts, how good and kind are hui
man hearts, and | regret the bilious
jeers, the cheap and tinhorn cynic
sneers.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

The policeman glared at the offender,
"You stepped right in front Of that
car" he said sternly. IF the driver
hadn't turned sharply you might have
been killed" .
"True-very true"
Were you trying to commit sui-
cider"
mo; | took out an accident insur.
ance policy yesterday, and | was JUST
exr imenting to see what sort of pros
'tecuon it would give me. By links, Il
worked ike a charm
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
The Wise Fool



John" said Mrs. Youngwife. as het
hubby staggered in after midnight, ar,
you intoxicated
mo" said John with dignity I'm
pef'fly shober."
Very we'll" said Mrs Youngwife. 81
have here a sobriety test that | found
in 4 paper today. Read these words
and pronounce them"
John looked at the clipping and hi,
daIed eyes saw a list Of words begin
ming thusly:
"Gnomiometfieal. paraehrGi,m. by
pochondriasis. phlegmasia. ntinomian-
ism, pseudathesia. synoategorematic."
M dear" said John, with an effort,
"s'n use iryin' to argue. It's easier for
TO admit that I'm toshieated than
10 saw the other words"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

His Column
NWNtW 2"
- muumMUD-aI

Turf.
While Poverty IL not q crime,
Youn lind u fact, dear nelEhbor.
That II has for a long, Ions time
Been punished by hard labor.
The Wise Fool
The good die Young" quoted the
Sage.
Wouldn't II be safer to say that the
young die good" asked the Fool
Strange.
II hate this mortgage" said old Bum,
And yet ] eann0t thln II.
| have 10 carry II, my son,
because ! cAnnOt llu H."
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06
Durn Pool.

There's something wrong with wllkin'i
head,
lie isn't right, I feel
lie ate n round steak and he said
Gee, that was q square meall'
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-04-06

Well. then. n little Thrift Stamps will
E~xtermlnRte the yermin.
Let's buy a lot Of them and kill
Each noxiouH germ In German.
Newark Advocate.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Carolyn learns why her uncle and Amanda ParloW are now so mad" that they do not speak as they pass each other by. Read all about it in the next instaIIment.
(TO BE CONTINUED
LANDMARK IN CITY OF PENN
Many Philadelphia Citizens Would Deeply Regret the Passing of
 Famous Old Alehouse.

Some Philadelphians of sentimental gard the possible advent of prohibi- ton with gloomy mien, if for no other reason than because it would mean the passing of the Old Ale House. on Drury street near Thirteenth.
 It is not age that gives flavor to the Old Ale House. The legend on the rusty signboard which states that it was established by Mary MeGillan in 1870 does not count for much in a city where many taverns can trace a direct lineage from the days of Penn. It is rather the garment of tradition with which the old taproom has GOV cred itself.
 It was there that this and that heavyweight signed articles for an i'm mortal bout. It was there that poli- ticians matched celebrated deal about which newspaper editorials are still being written and public speeches still being made. It was there that many young genius found the inspi- ration which changed him from bo- hemian hack to successful author. Over it all "Mother" McGillan pre- sided with a discipline at once gentle and stern. The brawls were rare.
 The old Ale House is no less land- mark than sight. The visitor is usu- ally taken there In the early after noon, and while he sips the ale from his mug the attentive guide recounts the history, adding a line or two from personal "reminiscences. The Ale House seems to fit all moods and to attract variety of minds. It is furnished in mission wood after the fashion of the English inns of the eighteenth cen tury, but that is as far as an attempt at atmosphere has been made.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

Joseph Stags know you for what you are-other people don't. II the neighbors heard you say that they'd think you were a heathen. Your own sisters childl''
 Now, you send Tim, the hackman. up after me this afternoon. I've got to go shopping. The child hasn't n thing to wear but that fancy little black frock, and she'll ruin that play ing around. She's got to have frocks and shoes and another hat-all sorts of things. Seems shame to dress T child like her in black-its punish ment. Makes her afiliction double. l do say"
 Well, I suppose we've got to flat ter Custom or Custom will weep" growled MT. Stagg. But where the moneys coming from
 Didn't Car'lyn's pa leave her none?' asked Aunty Rose promptly.
 .tWell-not what you'd call for tune," admitted Mir. Stagg slowly.
 "Thanks be you've got plenty, then. And if you haven't I have" said the woman in tone that quite closed the question of finances.
 (Which shows me just where l get off al" muttered Joseph Stagg as he started down the walk for the store. q knew that young one would be a nuisance"
 Carolyn May, who was quite used to taking q nap on the days that she did not go to school, woke up, as bright as newly minted dollar, very soon after her Uncle Joe left for the store.
 .'1'm awfully sorry 1 missed him, , she cohfided to Aunty Rose when she danced into the kitchen. You see. want to get acquainted with Uncle Joe just as fast as possible. And he's at home so little guess that it's going to be hard to do it."
 "0h, is that so? And is it going to be hard to get acquainted with me?' asked the housekeeper curiously.
 "Oh, nol" cried Carolyn May, snug gling up to the good woman and pat ting her plump bare arm. .Why, I'm
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

You're bilious! Your liver is slug gish! You feel lazy dizzy and all knocked out. Your head is dull, your tongue is coated; breath bad; stomach sour and bowels constipated. But don't take salivating ealomel. It makes you sick; you may lose Il days work.
 Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver, which causes necrosis of the bones. CaIomel crashes into seHr bile like dynamite, breaking 1t up. That's when you feel that awful nausea and cramp- ing.
 If you want to enjoy the incest, gen tlest liver and bowel cleansing you ever experienced just take n spoonful of harmless Dedsen,s Liver Tone to- night. Your druggist or dealer sells you a bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone for a few cents under my personal money-baek guarantee that each spoon
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

getting 'quainted with you fast, Aunty Rose! You heard me say my prayers and when you laid me down on the couch just now you kissed me-"
 Aunty Rose actually blushed. '4There, there, child!" she exclaimed. "You're too noticing. Eat your dinner, that I've saved warm for you"
 Isn't Prince to have any dinner, Aunty Rose?" asked the little girl.
 You may let him out, if you wish, after you have had your dinner. You can feed him under the tree"
 Carolyn May was very much excited about an hour later when rusty closed hack drew up to the front gate of the Stagg place and stopped.
 An old man with a square-cut chin whisker and clothing and hat as rusty as the hack itself held the reins over the bony back of the horse that drew the ancient equipage.
 "I say, young'un, ain't you out O yer bailiwick?" queried Tim. the hackman, staring at the little girl in the Stagg yard.
 Carolyn May stood up quickly and tried to look over her shoulder and down her back. It was hard to get all those buttons buttoned straight.
 Il don't know" she said, perturbed. Docs it show?"
 "Huh?" grunted Tim. Docs what show"
 What you said" said Carolyn May accusingly. Il don't believe 1t does"
 "Heyw chuckled the hack driver suddenly. "I meant, do you low Mrs. Kennedy knows you're playing in her front yard?"
 "Aunty Rose? Why, of course '" Carolyn May declared. Don't you know I live herer'
 Hive here? Get out!" exclaimed the surprised hackman.
 'Yes, sir. And Prince too. With my Uncle Joe and Aunty Rose"
 Pitcher of George Washington !" calculated Tim. You don't mean Joe Stagg's taken young-'un to board?"
 He's my guardian" said the little girl primly.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Ugh! CalomeI Sickens; SaIivates!
 Please Try Dodson's Liver Tone am sincere! My medicine does not upset liver
 and bowels so you lose a days work

ful will clean your sluggish liver bet ter than a dose of nasty calomel and that it won't make you sick.
 Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver medicine. You'll know 1t next morn- ing because you will wake up feeling fine, your liver will be working, your headache and dizziness gone, your stomach will be sweet and your bowels regular. You will feel like working: you'll be cheerful; full of vigor and ambition.
 Dodson's Liver Tone is entirely vegetable. therefore harmless and can not salivate. Give it to your children, Millions of people are using Eodsen's Liver Tone instead of dangerous calo- mel now. Your druggist will tell you that the sale of calomel is almost stopped entirely here.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

Aunty Rose appeared She wore ii close bonnet, trimmed very plainly, and carried q parasol of drab silk.
 Aunty Rose climbed into the eteaky old vehicle.
 Are you going to be gone lonE?" asked Carolyn May politely.
 Not more than two hours, child said the housekeeper. Nobody will bother you here"
 Not while that dogs with her. I reckon" put in Tim, the hackman,
 May l come down the road to meet you, Aunty RoseT' asked the little girl Il know the way to Uncle Joe's store"
 Il don't know any reason why you can't come to meet me replied Mrs. Kennedy. Anyway, you can come along the road as far as the first house. You know that onef"
 Yes, ma'am. Mir. Parlow's," said Carolyn May.
 Carolyn May went back Into the yard and sat on the front.porch steps and Prince, yawning unhappily. curled down at her feet. There did not seem to be much to do at this place.
 She had time now, had Carolyn May. to compare The Corners with the busy Harlem streets with which she had been familiar all her life
 Goodness me p thought Carolyn May, startled by her own imagination, suppose all the folks in all these houses around here were deadl"
 They might have been for all the human noises she heard.
 "Goodness me!' she said again, and this time she jumped up. startling Prince from his nap. Maybe there is spell cast over all this place." she went on. Let's go and see if we can find somebody that's alive"
 They went out of the yard together and took the dusty road toward the town.
 They soon came in sight of the Par low house and carpenter shop.
 We can't go beyond that said Carolyn May. 'Aunty Rose told us not to. And Uncle Joe says the car penter-man isn't pleasant man."
 She looked wistfully at the prem ises. The cottage seemed quite as much under the 'spell' as had been those dwellings at The Corners. But from the shop came the sound of a plane shrieking over q long board.
 "0h, Princey!" gasped Carolyn May. T b'lieve he's making long, curly shavingsl
 If there was one thing Carolyn May adored it was curls.
 Suddenly Mir. Jedidiah Parlow looked up and saw the wistful, dust-streaked face under the black hat brim and above the black frock He stared at l her for fully q minute, poising the l plane over his work. Then he put it down and came to the door of the shop.
 You're Hannah Stagg's little girl, aren't you?" he asked.
 sYes, sir she said, and sighed. Dear me, he knew who she was right away There would not be any chance of her getting a suit of long curls.
 You've come here to live, have you? said Mir. Parlow slowly.
 "Yes, sir. You see, my papa and mamma were lost at sea-wlth the Dunraven. It was a mistake I guess" sighed the little girl, for they weren't fighting anybody. But the Dunraven got in the way of some ships that were fighting, in a place called the Medi- terranean ocean, and the Dunraven was sunk, and only few folks were saved from it. My papa and mamma weren't saved"
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
DON'T BE FOOLISH
and buy an imitation; get the original 

and buy an imitation; get the original 
 It is better than any of the substi- tute 'Balms" for quickly relieving Coughs. Colds. Group, and all kinds of hurts and soreness.
 The many limitations are proof that 1t is an unusually good thing.
 The price is only 25c per Jar or Tube. Surely 1t is worth that to get rid of Cough or Cold, or your child's Group. If your druggist will not SUD- ply you and we have no agent in your locality, write for the agency.
 Every family needs Vaeher-Balm. and we supply samples Free, to start the demand. F. ". YACHER, Inc, New Orleans, La.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
FOR SICK HEADACHE. TRY THIS MILD AND
 SURE REMEDY. FINE
 FOR BILIOUSNESS

Bilious headaches are due to inactive liver. Stir up your liver. get 1t working right again, get your bowels regulated, like a new person Do this by taking BONDS LIVER PILLS, one each night for two or three nights, A large bottle costs only 25c at any drug store. They are mild. safe; never gripe, yet thorough in action.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
French ank

wearing Red Cross pajamas, and all lying in the same kind of cots, how are you going to tell Frenchman from an American7
 "The Frenchmen have mustaches and we haven't" explained one Yank. but it isn't always as simple as that.
 Even the nurses sometimes get them mixed, and address q wounded American boy in French in perfectly good faith. And every time that hap pens, the doughboy gives himself away by trying to talk French back Paris Stars and Stripes.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
buke= for.Jane.

At school the twins are in the first grade. Jane Is quite talkative. while John Is more quiet and sedate.
 Arriving home, Jane said: Mother, John didn't have his lesson this morn ing"
 Well" haughtily replied her twin,
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Just In Time.

"Did she return the engagement ring when she tilted you?n
 "She didn't have any engagement ring. Just before I proposed to her joined a society for the prevention of useless giving"
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Identified Just the Same.

she-Waiter, can you tell me if Mr. Jones has been in today?
 Waiter-Mr Jones? Is he the old man with the big red nose?
 She-Yes, that's him-but, look here; 1 want you to understand that my husband is not old. nor is his nose big and red.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

Little Girl-Please, Miss, it means having to come to Sunday school.- New Haven Register.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

A grain of sand in mans makeup is worth two in the sugar.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Important to Mothera

Brooklyn (N. Y.) surgeon reports discovery of solution curing most cases of gas gangrene.