davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
PRETTY DOCGIE.

The so-called city editor-and limo
OPP, bookkeeper, reporter, etc, is un
able to put out much" this week owing
to disastrous collision with a ms
guided canine out on the hard road on
THE Hill" last Wednesday night. When
about midway the hill, sizeable white
dog dashed out from the roadside and
made for the speeding cyclist landing
squarely between the wheels. Imme
diately the dog and bicycle both stop
frog-fashion through the coon night
air for a distance of some twenty
feet, at the end of which brief flight
the roadway rose UP and met us.-St
Andrews Bay News.
Hope he begged the pups pardon,
or what was left of it.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
ONE OR TOTHFR GOT KORT.

Riding on a train recently we saw a
sign over a village store which read
"Ketchersid. Evidently sid" follow
ed the advice, for there was comely
looking woman seated on the stoop at
the entrance to the store.-St. Peters
burg Times.
Why blame Sid? Names are mislead
ing things. Much more likely to have
been a case of ketehimsal.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
AT THE MOVIES.

The biggest pest
Is Ike MCCloud,
He always reads
The lines out loud.
st. Augustine Record.
He amt so worse
That Jennie Matt
Who will not doff
Her flaring hot.
Thorn in Palm Beach Post.
Nor Ed and Annie,
The lovers true,
Whose close heads one
Cannot see through.
Tropical Sun.
Or Nancy Brown
Who skips the text
But tries to tell
What's coming next.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
The Agony Column
HE USUALLY Is.
(By r. p. Aiken.)

The averave newspaper man or write
imagines that he ought to be q states
mamie is usually ymistaken.-Talla.
hassee Daily Democrat.
But you couldn't convince him Of i
no more'n you could that he wash
born to be palpitating political per
siflager.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
,LESE MAJESTE.

The editor of the Daytona Journal
is being sued for $4,000. The mere
matter of having to pay our $4,000
is not of much consequence but it Is
the annoyance that the editor canno
tolerate.-Ocala Daily Banner.
How dare he Officer, take the com
plainant out and give him fifteen taps
on the wrist watch.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
DISCRETION is THE BETTER PART
OF PUBLICITY.

A pillar of fire" is among the new
religious cults. But how can there be
a pillar of fire" without pillar OF
cloud" and who wants TO be obscured
by a pillar of 7''-Ocala Daily
Banner.
Nobody might want but cloud might
be handy at times in thoughtfully OBJ
securing some pillars Of the church.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
STEP FORWARD PLEASE.

AS explained to me by a charming
lady friend, the fancy styles in shoes
are necessitated by the shortness OF
skirts, and the skirts are made shorter
in order to display the fancy shoes
Sanford Herald.
1t has generally been understood tina
both inventions were contrived for the
delectation Of the man behind.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
MAKE COTTON FABRICS
GOVERNMENT AT ATLANTA

Washington, May IA bill au-
thorizing the establishment of a
factory at the United States peni-
tertiary at Atlanta. for the manu-
facture Of cotton fabrics for the man
uacture of cotton fabrics for the gov
eminent has passed the house. It
now goes to the senate
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
NOW. BILLY.

The reason some people are consid-
cred goats is because they are always
putting inst. Lucie County Tribune.
And on being thrown out he usually
collect everybody's goat present and
take along regular herd
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
UP AND SWAT ,EM.

"Mosquito-less Miami"-"F1y-less
Miami '-according to the efficiency OF
the city board Of health.-Miami Me
tropolis.
Don't change that efficiency to .suf
ficiency else merry Miami will be
swattin' flies and skeeters til the tour
ist turns again.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
OR SENT TO THE KAISER.

Painter Shot" reads a headline
Well, there are lots of 'em who SHOULD
be shot.-St. Petersburg Times.
Some of 'em ought, to be hung.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
NONE LOST YET.

Despite the war straw hats are thu
same as they always were-will blow
off-St. Lueie County Tribune.
Because despite the war, American
heads are still the same-will stick on
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-05-12
OH. WHIFFIE.

We are all watching to see II Sena-
tor Zenophon F. Whitley lives up to his
name.-Times-Union
VIII have to play one of those music
al key boards that you beat with a
couple of sticks?
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
Building Up Russia-What Part
Should America Play?
Current Opinion

COUNT ILYA TOLSTOY, writing in
~ the March issue of Current Opin-
ion" ventures prediction, like many others,
concerning Russia politically and eco
nomically. His views Of the commercial
opportunities open in Russia to Americans
after the war are worth noting:
after period of destruction there should
come time for constructive work on
prodigious scale. Russia, with her great
natural resources, stretching across con-
tinent that forms almost one-sixth of the
earth's surface, offers to the manufacturing
nations of tho world immense field for
development. Russia emerging out of chaos
will no longer suffer itself to be selfishly
exploited by the grand dukes and the Ger
mans. There will exist no longer those handi-
caps which caused America several years ago
to refuse to draw up treaty with Russia.
items of millions of people in Europe and
America who are now employed either in
making munitions in using them will
turn to their normal ways of living and
lnboring The time will soon come when the
labor supply will exceed the demand and
the world will face once more the problem
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

ago that during the year 1917 the submarine
had destroyed more than two tons of ships
10 every one ton built. In the light of re-
vlsed figures to which we have recently had
access we know now that case would have
been more accurately stated if the proper
ton had been given as nearly three to one
In making this statement we include even
the new tonnage built by Japan, although, up
to the present, Japans ships have not been
IN the Atlantic Ocean and have not been
subject to the submarines attrition To be
concrete and specific, the shipping destroyed
directly by the submarine and indirectly
through mines which the submarines laid,
and by other hazards, was nearly three times
the total amount of new tonnage built by
all the Allies and all the neutrals. To put
it broadly and simply, so that the public may
as easily as possible grasp it's grim mean
ing the shipping Of the world, which is as
essential to the Allies as the throat to human
life, was destroyed nearly three times as
fast it was renewed.
There is reason to believe that the naval
authorities in Great Britain and this country
are cheerfully expectant of greatly reducing
the number Of sinkngs by submarines
through devices in preparation. 1t is
pretty safe to say that the U-boat will not
have it all its own way from now on Better
weather will bring about higher production
of tonnage. But the great task is still to
build enough ships that no matter how
aggressive the U-boat warfare may be, it
will still be possible for us to send enough
men and material and food to Europe to
make victorious war; And into this great
effort the country must put all the might it
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

of overproduction. The only country in which
supply' and demand will not clash will be
Russia, for she will need much after the
She will need first of all agricultural
machinery, for her one hundred and fifty
million people working the soil will need
harrows, rloughs, tractors and harvesters.
Who will furnish them? Germany? L.
evitaby, unless America grasps her oppor-
tunity. America is the only country in which
agriculture faces the approximate conditions
that exist in Russia, country in which
agriculture is conducted not in terms Of
square acres, but the basis of square
miles. America, owing to her machine max
ing genius, has been able to develop her
immense agricultural resources gigantic
scale, and for this reason it is from her that
Russia must learn and to which she will look
for machinery. 1t is great opportunity for
America, and it will be a great mistake if
she does not take every possible advantage
of It,"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

up of thoroughly trained men. 1t may be
that by this time the working forces in all
our yards have been brought to nearer 200, 900
new men we get are not skilled in this work.
They may be good machinsts in other lines,
but still they'll require much training. In
fact, with a large proportion of newly re-
cruted shipbuilders might see the aver
age output go as low as fifteen, or even
twelve and a half tons. 1t certainly wouldn It
be anything like twenty. And the men who
might have helped this yard come to that
average have gone to the army. . . Ship
building is a young mans business. .
Ir this plant more than $500 of our 1900
employees are inside the draft age These
men, the skilled shipbuilders upon whom
the armys very existence, to say nothing Of
its ultimate success, depends, were taken
away from us, both in voluntary enlistment
and by the draft AS one even pretending
to be a good American, l could not raise the
slightest barrier against the recruiting Off
GERS coming within yard, but I knew what
it meant when I saw our shipbuilders, trained
and skilled go marching out after them.
"The army has now agreed to return the
drafted men to the shipyards. 1t is highly
necessary that they should be returned. But
as yet it hasn't been willing to give US back
our young men who went out and volun-
teered. We need them now; never so much
as right now. What's more, the army needs
to have them here more than to have them
in khaki"
From many quarters there come insist
ent demands that the government take
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

methods, and in this the idea of the
ferro-concrete ship is gaining rapidly.
Submarine sinkings remain, as ap-
pears from the British reports, on an
aggravatingly even level. About a dozen
big British ships fall victims every week,
with proportionately great losses un-
doubtedly for other nations involved. In
certain quarters, however, great hope is
built on the new anti-submarine meas
ures soon to be applied with full force
The exact nature of these could not be
disclosed here even if the information
were fully available
Sir Eric, while pessimistic about build
ing, was optimistic about killing off sub
marines. He said one out of every four
or five German U-boats leaving a home
port failed to report. Captain Sato
Yamamoto, japanese naval attache at
Rome, arriving at an Atlantic port de-
clared Americans and Japanese sank
fifteen U-boats in the Mediterranean in
a single recent month. The Mediter-
ranean, it seems, has been the happy
hunting ground for the submarines.
n estruction Nearly Treble the
l. Renewal
"Collier's" sounds the tocsin for more
ships, as follows:
ut was stated in this paper two weeks
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

and summer. Senator Nelson is quoted
to this effect. To show that "our allies
have been warned in time to discount
the promises of Mr.. edwin NJ Hurley
chairman of the Shipping Board)," it
then prints the following passage from
Sir Eric Goddess speech of March 5:
"Despte glowing reports in the Ameri-
can press, there is no doubt that con-
siderable time must elapse before the de-
sired output is obtained'
How much tonnage will the United
States produce in 1918? Here the most
diverse answers are being given in the
public press. The optimistic still expect
the 100000 tons promised by Mr.. Hur-
ley some time ago. Homer L. Ferguson,
one of the greatest practical shipbuilders
in the country, cuts this in half Inter
viewed by Edward Hungerford for "Col-
lier's," he said:
"Based upon Mr.. Hurley's estimate of
10000 men working in all our yards a very
few weeks ago, I should say that 5000, 900
tens was a fair estimate for the present
year. We shpbuilders figure it out on a
basis of about twenty tons per year per man
that is, under ordinary conditions. The
Union shipyard, of San Francisco has pro-
duced as high twenty three tons per man.
But the climatic conditions out there are
better suited for shipbuilding than most Of
our Eastern yards, and the force was made
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
Leading Articles in the Current American MAGAZINES

personally each case up for medical atten-
ton, the lieutenant ordered the man to take
OH ms SHIRT. 1t was removed revealing a
back crisscrossed at regular intervals by
ridges and burrows
Glow long have you been this way?" asked
the commanding officer
All night, sub, lieutenant" was the reply;
didn't get no rest tall, NAH back was
a-hurtin' me so. Anyways try to sleep pear
to me like dat misery d get worse amt
used to desc here army beds, nohow!"
The last remark, about the army bed. solved
the puzzle. The man had filled his bed sack
properly, and then had spread blanket over
the wire springs of his cot and crawcd under
the tick to sleep. Naturally the springs left
their imprint on his body, with some two
hundred and twenty pounds of avoirdupois to
counteract the slight padding effect of one
blanket.
An example of the unfying effect of song
occurred early in the life of the organization
The company was engaged in clearing the
ground around the barracks, and it was neces-
sary to move some heavy timbers, Ten or
twelve men would cluster around stick and
Try 10 move IT, the acting sergeant in charge
strutting along ahead and counting Zone
two, three. four-r-r!" for the step. Some
would start on the right foot instead of tho
left, and then would throw the entire squad
of when they attempted to change cadence.
Finally Potassium Acetate, in one OF the in
tervais while the sergeant was calling down
one OF the clumsy ones, began to chant:
Lett, An lett, An had good home an left
An left my wife an big fat baby.
Hayfoot, strawfcot, belly full o. bean SCUM.
Lett All left, All had good home an left;
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

When the British government came to
deal with its workers, Mr. Lloyd George
and his associates had 1.-TWO compact
bodies to deal with-organized labor and
organized capital"
another great advantage was that he was
negotiating with Englishmen, and not mass
of nationalites, many Of them new to the
country and many having no spontaneous en-
thusiasm for the English cause. Hostile as
might have been the relations of these two
classes, point they agreed, and that
was the necessity Of defeating Germany.
With this attitude as a common meeting
establishing a working agreement. The first
consideration was that both parties, employ
ers and employees, should refrain from re-
garding the means of enriching
themselves. Workmen were not to obtain
exorbitant wages and employers were not to
exact outrageous profits. In the matter of
employers on war work, an average of their
profits for three years preceding the war was
taken and they were permitted to make 20
per cent in excess of that amount. There
was agreement that this modest excess
would provide sufficient payment for the in
creased energies and responsibilities, as we'll
AS furnishing an Indictment to increased ex-
ertions. The unions, in behalf Of their men,
agreed to accept standard the wage rate
which existed at the beginning of the war.
While there was to be no increase in wages.
as wages, an ingenious arrangement was
made to compensate workmen for their in
creased living expenses. The government
the increased cost of living four
times each year and pays the men a bonus
that represents this increase"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
The Place of the Negro in
Americas Army
Outlook
Outlook
T VOW is it with the negro in. Amer
ica's new armies? Lieutenant
u (,l.ouI.. T,X-Jo o~o,,xo~.

VOW is it with the negro in Amer
ica's new armies? Lieutenant
Charles C. Lynde answers this
question in "The Outlook" by citing con-
crete examples Of the changes which
"Rastus" has been undergoing recently.
Moreover, the article is replete with anec-
dotes showing the typical American negro
humping against something that is new to
him. The stories are worth as much as
the assurance that all is well with the
negro recruits:
"Namc?' asked the captain, as he glanced
up at the denim clad negro on the other side
Of the desk.
"Tass," the man replied, shifting uncasily
from one foot to the other as the officers in
the registering line looked at him.
"'Tass who ?" qucried the lieutenant at
the service record desk.
"Po- Potassium Aceta' Smith, Cap'n."
At the full name the lieutenant laid down
his pen with hearty laugh.
"'Potassium Acetate Smith," he repeated,
slowly. eve ought to transfer that boy to
the medical department, II only on account Of
his drugstore name"
At sick call that morning, blown immedl-
atcjy after rcyeile, one recruit reported
severe pains all over his back misery" ne
called it, On the theory that sick-call malin-
gering could be checked only by examining
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17

has. Nothing that Americans are doing, not
even the training of soldiers and the fighting
IN The trenches, is SO important as the build
ing of ships. There never has been such a
challenge to the American spirit as this.
Every employer Of labor must make sacrifices
of personal profit in this enterprise. Every
mechanic or laborer must feel that on his
individual effort depends the safety of de-
mocracy. 1t might we'll be said that better
proof Of our will to beat our enemy would
be found in the number of rivets driven by
a gang of riveters than in the number of
rounds fired by battery of 75s."
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17


warn, and unless a
great effort is put forth the war, it is
urged IN some quarters, may be lost by
breakdown Of transportation.
Three very interesting weaknesses in
the American shipping programme have
been pointed out in the last week. One
implied in German review of the AL
lied tonnage situation which appeared in
me German press on February 2. "Since
February l, 1915" says this article, as
quoted IN The New York Tribune, cover
100000 gross register tons of cargo
room in the service Of our enemies has
Been destroyed-in other words, somewhat
less than half Of Englands commercial
neet at the outbreak Of the war"
At the same time NJ Togo, writing in
the March issue Of "The North American
Review" shows how American refusal to
give Japan steel has withheld the con-
struction Of at least possible million
IONS Of shipping that would be Of service
70 the Entente A more serious indict-
ment Is that in the March issue of "The
Review Of Reviews" which emphasizes
NE point made last fall by a writer in
Golfers"
The idea Of army ACKNOWLEDGMENT has
~xen possession Of certain minds. An ex-
.sasiye army programme has been so pro-
"c'ed and pushed to the front. that the
sSsehtial things this country was undertake
ing on practical lines 10 make its place in
70. zoe world strong and safe, and at the same
ane to help the Allies beat Germany, have
nag 70 be minimized or delayed"
IN Great Britain Sir Eric Geddes,
fnst Lord Of the Admiralty, and in the
United States Admiral Bowles, in charge
VI 'he great Hog Island yard, have both
complained that the shipbuilding plants
arc not turning out the work they could
~ expected TO produce, although With
'"e coming Of warm weather the totals
rs' month, it is pointed out, may be ex-
pscted 10 rise rapidly.
All observers agree that this is a crit
s'ai year for shipping. The Allied and
"sutfal tonnage is sinking lower and
s"Daoly will continue to do 30 until
a'@' Iail or winter. If this year can be
,'a'nered, however, the vast shipbuild-
As machine the United States is Great
:. Wy should be able, it il felt, TO counter
"s ehemy'g efforts at destruction.
"as 100 ships TO take the water in
- next do no good when ten
.',m are needed in August next. A.
-e"fopleted ship, or Il thonsand such,
~f'ScS no v11da There IL therefore a
@'s@s discussion Of quicker building
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
Scanning the Wit of the Day

But it was out of place,
For when that fellow showed his mug
'Skiddoo was on his face"
The Yonkers Statesman.
How did you come to be performer on
the base viol?" "Well when | decided to be
n musician l got father to promise to buv
me fiddle. But father always was one of
those men who want to get as much as
possible for their y."-Washingto
Star.
Shears--How is it that your Scribleigh
has been attending church so regularly of
late? Typo-Why, he says that he likes
to go where he is always sure of having
his contributions accepted Lamb.
Hi, Bill! Here comes a gas wave!'
THANK heavens This toothache's almost
KILN me."-Cartoons Magazine.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
The Difference Between British
and American Labor
Worlds Work

WHY England has industrial peace
w during war, while America has
not is shown by Burton j. Kendrick in
the March issue of "The Worlds Work"
The great contrast between labor in Eng
land and America is stated in the simple
fact that 80 per cent of English labor is
unionized, against only 10 per cent in the
United States.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-03-17
Hoboes Can Read

TNWO hoboes came to town one day
To see what they could beg;
One tried to fake an injured arm,
His pal broken leg.
The man who faxed the broken limb
Would stand out at the gate,
The other one would seek the house
And ring the bell and wait.
One hobo walked up to door,
And it was opened wide,
And there man with features stern
Was standing just inside.
The tramp ran quickly to his mate,
Who said: "Why run like that?
Did you not see that Welcome word
Embroidered on the matt"
II saw that Welcome word, you bet,