Evening star., 1918-05-06
The OTHER ANGLE
Eat Old Potatoes!
BY KIRK MILLER.

Everything runs in cycles these days,
even thy street. cars. and while you may
not have enough cash today to purchase
one of those stamps that formerly re-
tailed for 2 cents. tomorrow you may
wake up and find yourself buried in a
blizzard of stocks. bonds. tapioca pudding,
pomeranians and other luxuries.
It's the same way with the food time
table. A year ago you couldn't get an
Irish potato without a search warrant
and a permit from the major and super
intendent Of police, and now the food ad-
miralty is turning handsprings in an ef-
fort to inveigle Old John Publich to inhale
Erin's principal fruit in habit-forming
quantities.
One year ago today, lacking one hour.
you could limp into one-armed lunch
and French fried potatoes. When the
order breezed in you could locate the
cows hip, but you had to employ the
services Of an alienist to determine the
approximate tenting ground OF the elu-
sive French fries. The steak was there
o. K, but the grease-spangled potatoes
were SO bashful that you refrained from
eating them on the same ground that
people are now conserving veal. Easily!
Now there Is a patriotic squawk from
"
for you to go over the top each meal with
an extra potato beneath your Christmas
necktie, and it's beginning to look as II
they are running this extra period busi-
ness into the same hole in the ground
that certain European monarchs are aim
ing their toes for.
It wasn't enough for that congressional
clinic to slip us an extra hour Of day
light, SO the spud generalistsimo had to
issue a proclamation stealing the same
idea and asking the general public and
general gormandizers to conceal one fam
ily-sized potato over the regular rations
right below the place where your trench
belt buckles. Might as well!
Even President Wilson grabbed that
extra. hour Of sunstroke idea when he
Of bonds and forgot to copyright the
scheme In the last week he was re-
sponsible for half a million people trip
ping al over each others hand o1n,GIs ia maaen
that all you've got to do In America II
you want some sport is to start some
thing"
buy a W. S. s. or knit a sleeveless sweater
and forget to leave an aperture for the
arms, II you don't get patent on the
stunt everybody in the neighborhood will
steal your stuff and pretty soon your
up the regular traffic Nothing personal
nothing PERSONAL
That's why America ts SO efficient with
out appearing to try. In Germany they
make you eat an extra potato every meal,
and in America some wise guy starts
doing it and in two days all the tax
payers and tax-evaders are eating gpuds
because they hear It Is all the rage.
Yes, war crabs everything, even q good
idea, but what is good for the geese Is
also good for the geeses husbands, and
in the case Of liberty bonds. w. 8. 8.
and potato consumption that American
habit Of plundering the other birds idea
is going to knock the kaiser right away
from his tin panama
The purpose Of cracking open an addi-
tional hour Of potatoes every, day IL to
save wheat and keep the teapot hitting
on all six cylinders for the soldiers
abroad Potatoes are substitute for wheat.
as every one understands who knows two
pairs won't defeat threea II We eradi-
cate all the potatoes from North Amer
lea via the gravy route that will release
SO much more wheat to make biscuits to
shoot at the Germans. who would drop
dead IL they were to see Wild biscuit
ambling unprotectedly over t Ae western
terrain without its keeper or anything.
The gist of this word-potpourri is to
Fletcherize old potatoes and wear . serv-
ice star in your food nag.
Hop to It'll Alc.>,