The Washington herald., 1918-05-17
Lizzie Got Dizzy.

In the same house that Ned Wat
son and his wife Lizzie live. there
are several single girls.
And lately Ned has been kidding
and teasing these girls.
Despite his wife's protest Ned
kept on with his attentions, harm
less though they were.
Finally Lizzie got sore and call
ed him down right in front of the
girls.
No married man, she told him, has
Lany- sight to allow his attention to
drift to unmarried girls.
The call down did no good. Lizzie
began to worry about things.
One of these girls, Annie Jones.
had some words with Lizzie, with
the result that Lizzie was arrested
and charged with making threats.
According to Annie's story. Lizzie
got out her razor and was going to
carve the whole bunch.
Her hubby admitted that he was
guilty Of teasing the girls, but he
denied that his wife was going to
use the razor.
1t can easily be seen that Lizzie
had a right to get sore.
But instead OF threatening the
girls. she should have moved her
husband away and hid him.
Judge Hardison, after reprimand-
ing Lizzie severely for her indis-
erection. let her go home on condi-
tion that she would not pick q fuss
with these girls.
The sticker Stuck.
"Jedge. dat gal sittin' dere stuck
a hatpin in me. She 'cuse me of
hangin' roun her husband. Me en-
her husband is fust cousins"
What did you do to make her
stick you with a hatpin?" the court
asked Clarice Williams, who was
complaining about Eta Myers.
"Ah only tole her. Jedge." answer
ed Clarice, dat All was 'ris up wild
her husband. en- All had a right to
talk to him."
The fuss started Wednesday night
when Clarice borrowed ten cents
from Bill, Etta's hubby. to go to
the movies.
Eta, IL appears. had use for that
particular dime. and told Bill so
But Bill lent 1t to Clarice anyhow.
ms NioA ASC oloi IOo Outs I1lld JCAh
ed her back in a rage and the music
started.
Yanking Clarice's own hatpin from
her hat, Eta stuck the girl with it.
1t didn't go in very deep.
Neither did it hurt Clarice very
much, because the pair stood there.
and argued about the matter until
Bill separated them.
And because Eta insisted on
hurting Clarice. the latter had to
have her arrested.
Rill promised to keep the two
women apart in the future, and the
court let Eta go with a IS fine
Her knight.
In olden days when one man
wanted to offer another q deadly
insult he threw a glass Of wine in
his face.
The other day In a Greek res
taurant, Henry Bolden, anxious to
let Perry Jackson know what he
thought of him, threw q glass of
near-beer in his face.
After some kind friend had thrown
Perry q life preserver he jumped
up from the table and challenged
Henry to q duel.
Both rolled up their sleeves amid
loud protests from Louie, the pro-
prietor.
Bang, they went together. Perry
got in an uppercut. Henry faded
away on the floor moaning.
p It was all about Q woman. She
was standing there all the time.
Strange as 1t may seem, she had
to choose between the two. 1t is
hardly necessary to say that she
threw her arms around Perry and
called him her hero.
The cops rushed in. They picked
Henry up of the floor and took him
and Perry to Jail.
However. disorderly conduct Is not
a serious offense and each had to
shell out but IS. ..
How Very Nice Of George.
Some men collect pipes for q
hobby. others chase butterflies, coli
lect antiques. stamps. paintings and
curios.
George Baldwin is a connoisseur
of good shoes.
He worked as a special delivery
man for big Seventh street shoe
store.
In the past few weeks George has,
unknown % his eTbloysr. collected