The Washington herald., 1918-02-26

"Jedge, pleez." said Isaac with a
groan, "wuz yo eber so hongry dat
yo would do almos' ennything ter git
somefin' ter eat?"
Now look here" said the court en-
phatically, II want no camoufiage
here. If you don't tell me the truth
1t Is going to go hard with you.
There is absolutely no excuse for
you to steal Your son says ne is
willing to take care of you and give
you a home"
But ledge, "interposed Isaac again,
dat boy has such a debbil of a wife
dat All jes' CANT stan her"
Living around her is not half as
bad as living in jail'' the court an
swered sternly. "and If. you persist
in stealing and ever come here again
you are going to Jail. I'll parole you
this time on account of your age"
His Name Was Pat.
One day in a powder mill was
enough for Pat jackson.
He quit stone cold. II was safer
for him to walk the ties he thought
than to take a chance of ocins blown
to Halifax.
He bummed for a couple of months.
He got in the way of freight train
one day and landed in the hospital.
He stayed there a week. He wasn't
as badly hurt as was thought.
my dear man." said the court to
Pat when he was arraigned for vag-
rancy, don't you know the shipyards
are crying for men to help built the
fleets to beat the submarine?'
A L. 0kN fVNR 40
sick. Ennyhow All can't build no
ships. All ben waitin' 70 NAH ship to
cum in for a long time. All got no
time to bodder wild odder boats"
you can do some Of that waiting
at the workhouse" answered the court
with much disgust. "as 1 can readily
see that YOU need to be made to work.
This is no time to be a Stacker. Sixty
days"
Boys VIII BE Boys.
Two boys, Terry Jackson and
Charles Suterman. attended a birth
day party.
Both of these boys were very much
attached to Ruth -, in whose
honor the affair was given.
At the very outset Terry did some
thing which got on Charles nerves.
He monopolized the attentions Of
Ruth. Wherever you saw Ruth you
saw Terry. always close behind her.
Charles gave vent to his feelings
against Terry by making a few un-
derhand remarks.
Terry stood it for an hour or so. He
tried to be calm for the sake Of his
lady love.
However. It got the best of him. He
politely asked Charles to refrain from
these remarks until the party was
over, and then IL he had anything to
say. to say it then.
Then Charles blew up. He swore
out loud In front of everybody. He
called Terry all sorts of names. He
even insulted Ruth.
Flushed to the eye teeth, Terry
dared him outside.
A minute later both were deadlock
ed. 1t was some" scrap.
Just as Terry got a half Nelson on
Charles a cop got them both by the
neck and ended things then and there.
It doesn't matter If Terry was chiv-
alrous. He ought not to have fought
In the street. The court took a five
spot away from them both.
Just Like a Prune.
"Ah was real tired last night, Jedge
Yonner. All leans mahseff agln a
tree to ease nah bones.
"Dat orsifer he Gums along en-
pinched me 70 being drunk. All wus
only drunk onct in nah life en- den All
wasn't drunk, jes' a little stewed."
Emma Collins did her best to con-
vince the court that she was a per-
feet lady.
She was arrested on X street Sum-
day night while trying to hold up a
tree.
Her hiccoughs attracted the atten-
ton of a cop. There was a circus
when he tried to arrest her.
When they locked her up they dis
covered a half pint of something that
was supposed to be whisky.
But it smelled like ink and tasted
like burnt paper. How she ever man
aged to drink it, goodness only
knows.
"Why do you come into court and
tell me a story?" the court asked
Emma, after hearing her spiel
"Ah amt lyin tall" she answered.
"Ah am jes' as trufeful as large
Washington hisself."
well" said the court again, "since
you went to Baltimore on his birth
day and did something he never did.
l am going to give you fifteen days"
Jes' a IIp Jealous.
One little wink of his right eye did
more damage to Harry Meadows than
he ever would have thought.
Harry is engaged, or rather was
engaged to Georgia. Anyhow, that
is what Georgia said.
Last Saturday night he took her
to the movies. During the show they
both held hands.
When 1t was almost time to go
home Georgia caught Harry winking
his eye at chicken" across the
isle.
The Chicken" had her beau with
her. And she heard Harry get an
awful call-down from Georgia.
Suddenly Harry was confronted by
man about twice his size. 1t was
Frank Morris. one time an army
blacksmith.
Frank looked at Harry for a min
ute and then dragged him outside.
The poor fellow looked like a tank
had run over him when Frank got
through with him.
Even Georgia softened her heart
when she saw how badly he had
been handled.
She forgave him. She agreed to
be a witness against Frank.
Frank made no bones about his
wuuaN IL