Carroll County democrat. (Huntingdon, Tenn.) 188?-1971, 1918-03-29
Mr., SIMPgINS PAYS
His INCOME TAX
BY RoeERT MeRLAIR.

tGdIS, II WIS pUElIHlt Oh MS father
Colonel Slmpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor dL-ing the
Civil War and had died brayely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Simpklns throat
ached now for two reasons: First. be
reverenced and adored the memory OF
bis father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
so to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
lng gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
in Imagination. the khakl-elad lads OF
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
eight, maybe die, for liberty
Mr.. Slmpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (whO
were at the teasing ages Of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
/ see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for salute,
But his equity shoulder twinged, and he
grOaned. He couldn't even salute.
"Damnl" said Mr.. Slmpklns, and
with his other hand Hercely twlrled his
white musiachios.
He turned and llmped into the H.
hrary and sat down creaklly before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state.
ment. blanks which he had rather
Erumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue officer only Tint day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. SimpIlins income for 1917 had
! amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject Of taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage Of 1t he
pays 10 taxes He could think Of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar.
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pay only
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filing In the information
that It asked for.
AS Mr.. Slmpkins' income was $4,000
he had to figure ont the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
/ classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes, that is. single men making
over 1000 His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First they pay per cent. (under
the 1916 law) on all income over
$4,000, deducting 5000 for each of shelr
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Slmpkins case this was 1912, which he
put down in the payable" column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional 2
per cent. on all over S2,000-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $3.50 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump in his income over $1,000
he had to pay a Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added TO his burden.
And on top of all this came an "I1x.
cess Profits" tax of s per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $6.000 max.
Ing 500 more.
The total, then, he must pay was four.
teen hundred and thlrty-fOur dollars.
"Whew!" exclaimed Mr. Simpkins
angrily. There's young Henry VIII
kins, who married Jake JohnsonS girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay a
cent of taxes, guess this is his war
as well us mne!"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
WAS a lawyer, was aiding the Local
Draft Board with its questionnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself,
"that makes a difference"
He thought next Of Judge WilIough-
by, whose income was about $4,000.
"lIe only pays 500" commented Mr..
S,mpklns not quite so angrlly this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat up rigidly in his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when it was
summarized with the loss of two hun
dred soldiers.
Judge Willoughhy gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and put
his face in his hands.
For a long time Mr.. SimplSins sat
very still in that position. There was
no sound in the library except the
ticking of the tall clock and an occa-
sional trill of laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
Of light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and |
first twilight and then darkness settled
in about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking things |
which he would never afterward speak |
of, he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into words.
But some Inkllng of his thoughts may |
be found In his rejoinder to Mrs. |
Simpkins when that placid lady came |
in and turned on the lights, and asked |
aim whether he was ready for dinner. |
"Judge Willoughby's only son was
worth as much as fourteen hundred |
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't he?"