Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-11-20
Dove Dulcet, a Millionaire
Proposes to Endow This Column

love Dulcet informs us that he mas
come into a vast sum of money, and that
therefore he will no longer need to sup
port himself by writing poems.
1t sounds suspicious to us. Is it pos
sible that some one has taken this step
in order to throttle and estop Doves
muse?
Still, Mr.. Duicet in his new capacity as
millionaire has thought of an entirely novel
and delightful way to dispose of his wealth.
He sent for us today, and with a very
grave face told us that he had decided to
make The Electric Chair his sole heir
and legatee
Il intend" he said, "to leave the sum
of half a million dollars to endow and per.
petuate The Electric Chair as a Dove
DulCet Memorial Column. 1t seems to inc
tnat in this way my memory will be kept
green and comparatively fragrant 1t will
be new kird of epitaph, fresh every day.
/ shall require you to Trint at the head Of
your department the words Dove Dulcet
Memorial Column. Otherwise you may be
unhampered in the conduct of the depart
ment, save tEat once year, on my birth
day, I wish YOU would write a little article
concentrating my virtues.
There are certain difficulties in the life
of a newspaper column writer" he went
on, from which l wish to release you.
There are times when even tn, most in
dustrious of us do not feel yearnng for
toll There are days when even the most
highly volted Electric Chair will be EN-
barrassed by the static humor latent IN the
air and not be able to utter the right kind
of sparks. On such days l. Is my wish
that you should repair to Blacks Hotel,
where I have placed an endowed meal at
your disposal. The interest on the fund
that | have mentioned"
Half a Million" we asked politely, wish.
ing to be sure we had not misunderstood.
Half million" he said firmly Tine
interest on that sum will permit you 70 live
in a modest way, without anXieties, and
also to buy enough stuff from the leading
humorists of the world to fill out the
column on days when 20 feel shortage
of ohms, amperes, rheostats or whatever
they are l should like you to some Of
Karl Rosner's stuff. He is a very compe-
tent humorist now out of job. I make
rather point of that endowed luncheon
at Blacks, because I have always under
stood that journalists scant their lunch to
| keep the public supplied with news. This
| is great mistake.
Il do not wish you to decline this plan
too hastily" he said, apparently mistaking
| our agitation for signs Of opposition.
| There are number Of dsagreeable codi-
ellis that may as we'll he frank about I
| should insist on your keeping up the dig
nifty of the Dulcet Memorial by wearing
| fur oil .;pte
and the most expensive Palm Beach fabrics
! in summer. Nothing but silk socks could
be tolerated. should insist on your hiring
| two competent stenographers to take care
| of your correspondence. 1t would be de-
sirable for you to show yourself in public
a bit, box at the opera, you know and
perhaps an imported motorcar. with a
| chauffeur in Electric Chair livery. 1t would
| all be good publicity for the Chair and
therefore for my memory. l would rather
like you to go in for fox hunting and take
your blooded mare over the jumps at the
| horse show A photo of that. with the
| proper caption, will serve eXcellently 20
keep my memory before the public"
you would not insist on our dying
young?" we asked. I'VE do not feel very
keen about that horse-jumping. The
blooded mare is o. X, but we are all against
| blooded Socrates"
| you need have no alarm" he said. Il
intend to make this perpetual Your death
would make no difference. I shall put tho
fund in the hands of trustees, and IL you
are carried off by broken pun the trus-
tees can appoint some one else to carry
| on the great work. I desire this column
to carry the name Of Dove Dulcet down to
the ultimate ages. Not marble nor the
monuments of princes shall be more en-.
during"
Some of your conditions are disconcert-
ing" we stammered, but we find nothing
insuperable"
zone other thing" he said. Hard as it
may be, would like you to wear frock
coat in the office, white piping on your
vest and a silk hat on the street. fancy
waistcoat now and then, leopard skin or
something of that Sort will also add to the
general effect. You see 1t is essential that
you be pointed out in public as the Dove
Dulcet memorial. You will owe that 20
my memory. / should like you to do a
good deal of entertaining and to keep a
good cellar and plenty of memorial cigars
when do you think of dying?' we said.
| Al that moment we heard a ring at the
bell and Mrs. Dulcet entered the room.
She was evidently much agitated and
beckoned to some one behind her. Here
he is, Doctor" she said. Dove, my dear.
the ambulance Ia here from the asylum"