The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-09-14
Copyright, lsu, By the Mcclure Newspepz
Syndicate-)

RANDPA JABEZ BUNKER, q look
Of gentle benevolence on. his
NJ plump. rosy, babylike face. sat in
his rockingham In his room In
Mrs. winners clearinghouse. reading
small book with a glazing yellow cover.
The title of the book was The COM
piete Confessions of the King OF Gra1ters.
Telling How He Defrauded Thousands
Full Exposition OF All the Methods OF the
Most Celebrated Confidence Men Price,
Is cents" Having come to New York
from Oroduna. Iowa, to embark In the
profession of bunco-steerer. Mr.. Bunker
had met with good success, and ne was
keen to continue his career. Now, While
Grandma Bunker sat and rocked IN q
chair opposite him. he was studying tne
little book IN search for some method OF
bunco he had not yet tried. One chubby
knee was cooked over the other, and a red
carpet-slipper dangled from his elevated
toes; his pink brow was wrinkled and MS
kindly blue eyes concentrated tneir
gIances through his gold-rinmed specta-
hand over his smooth bald head thought
fully.
.'Wen, Jabez," said Mrs Bunker at
length, "ain't you hndin' no nice way to
bunco nobody?"
there's so many
Seems to mo that Spanish Prisoner
way that you read out awhile ago was a
real nice, respectable way to bunk. said
Mrs. Bunker.
well, 'twan't SO bad" admitted Mr..
Bunker ct reckon faint much differ
ence what way L choose, these New
Workers. is so easy to bunco. So long as
it is some old, reliable bunco-game, they
just kind of beg to be bunked by it. I
was sort of thinkin' of tryin' this one on
page. twenty-five. entitled Fake Cleric
$50 long as it is a nice. honest, respect
able confidence game" said dear old
Grandma Bunker placidly. lit don't mat
ter to me what it is. I only want you
should be straight and honest, Jabez."
This Fake Cleric game, as set out by
the King of Grafters," said Mr.. Bunker,
sis downright easy, but amt right sure
it is as honest as sellin' gold bricks. ct
cetery. I don't know as I'd care for 1t,
anyway. 1t says here the con'-man has
to make up like q minister Of the Cos
pei"
"Jabez Bunkerr' said Mrs. Bunker firm
ly, 'you won't ever work no such bunco-
game with my consent! Rig up like a
minister, indeed I'd call that plain out
and-out dishonest. No. Jabez, you'd bet
ter stick to honest wire-tappin' and gold
brick-sellin' and such!''
1T wouldn't seem right honest to let on
was a minister" said Mr.. Bunker, land
that's a fact. If We can't do a clean.
honest graft business, we might as well
go back to Oroduna and start store.
I want to try this Fake Cleric game
Mr. Bunker turned back to the descrip-
ton of the Spanish Prisoner bunco-one of
the Oldest and best, but one that needs con-
federates such as Mr.. Bunker lacked. The
plan appealed to Mr.. Bunker as some
thing high-class In the bunco line, but
he felt that for the present 1t was beyond
his capacity. In very few words, the
Is like
this: The victim in America receives a
letter, written .n a fine Spanish hand,
and mailed in Spain. telling Of a young
girl who is imprisoned in a Spanish jail.
Sometimes the prisoner Is an aged man.
The writer processes to know that the
prisoner Is heiress or heir to a vast sum
Of money, to which the guardian will fall
heir II the prisoner Is made away with.
The guardian has accused the prisoner,
through others, Of conspiracy against
Spain, and hence the imprisonment. If
ten or twenty thousand dollars can be
obtained to bride the government officials,
the charge can be dismissed and the pris-
oner can be set free to protect his or her
own rights. II the receiver of the letter
will advance ten or twenty thousand dol
lars, sending 1t to the Enclosed address,
the heiress will divide the fortune when
1t is secured. and the generous American
will receive fifty thousand dollars. that
being half the fortune.
It was evident to Mr. Bunker that this
plan would be far more difficult to carry
out than the simpler one OF walking down
to the corner to sell the policeman on
post there a leaden brick washed in gold.
To go to Spain would in itself be an an
noyance. 1t was much more comfortable
20 sit in a comfortable rocker in Mrs.
Winners clearinghouse. Having given
up the Fake Cleric game. he now. with
sigh. gave up also the Spanish Prisoner
idea.
Mrs. Bunker. the daylight having faded
so she could no longer see to knit arose
and lighted the gas and took up the
monthly copy of the Oroduna District
Leafiet and Messenger, a thin pamphlet
published by the First Church of Oro-
duna. Iowa. Each month this little leaf
let came to Mrs. Bunker. for It was one
or the ties that still bound her heart to
Oroduna. She now adjusted her specta-
cles and read She first turned to a let
ter from Mrs. Petunia Scaggs, who had
gone missionary" from Oroduna to Ar
menfa and who managed to write two
full pages Of the Leahet and Messenger
IN such way that tho reader got no
IDEA OF Armenia and remained, at the end
OF the letter. absolutely uninterested
| Mrs. Bunker's comment when she had
finished reading the letter was:
"'Tuny Scaggs has a letter IN IT..
Lea1iet and Messenger, Pa. She says
| tho butter amt SO good in Armenia
| as what it is in Oroduna"
Aainl SO good IN New York
neither. said Mr.. Bunker "'Tuny
could have stayed in Oroduna and
knowed there wasn't no better butter
| nowheres."
Mrs. Bunker turned a page of The
| Leaflet and Messenger,
Land sakes!" she exclaimed .Pa
Listen to this! II here amt con, e.
bofy been playin' that Fake Cleric
| eunco-game out to Oroduna! Warn
ing. The people of Oroduna ard
Vicirity are warned against a party
caiuaE himself Reverend Gideon Gith
and engaged in collecting funds for !
so-cslled Star of Hope Home for
| Orphans Of Reformed Zulu Canniba,s
Investigation shows there is no s1,cI
Home. and 1t is believed the Reverend
| Mr.. 9th is q fraud"
My! my! myi" exclaimed Mr.. Bunker
shocked. The mean. iow-down crook
cheatin' good. benevolent folks that wayl
Ma, people like him olfsht to be put
| into fail. The raScalts