The Washington herald., 1918-05-17

Special Correspondent Of The Washington Herald.
New York. May 6.-ManufacturIng
platitudes has become a great .Ameri-
can industry. Men who can strike
! on pIatitudes become writers Of the
very best sellers not only in book
shops but in the newspaper syndi-
Gates.
During the last few years DR.. ORR
| son SWEET Marden, Herbert Kaufman,
DIR. Frank Crane and Gerald Stanley
Lee have caused a whole literature of
platitudes to spring into being. The
| books of these writers are the very
best sellers.
There is no intention TO belittIe the
efforts of these writers in calling them
manufacturers OF platitudes." They
write articles that make people think
and they appeal to the better side Of
mans nature--hnt there Is no getting
away from the fact that the sport
rlatitudes. And what is more they
make it pay.
found that Col Roosevelt Is the mas
ter pIatitude maker, however. He
has dredged up some of his master
pieces and here are a few OF them:
| Honest men are less dishonest than
| thieves.
Drunkenness leads to inebriety.
Incidence is a form OF inactivity.
However, the champion platitude of
modern times appeared recently as a
headline in New York morning
paper. It read:
Universal Peace Will Avert War
With Japan"
Speaking OF platitude makers. there
is a column conductor on a New York
paper who was asked by his boss the
other day to write poem on Spring.
The editor believes people like spring
poems.
The columnist tried to couple some
lines about the dismal winter taking
flight and the dawn OF vCrdant
! springtime but he found himself sit
ting and looking at his work by the
hours. Finally he ground this out
and sent it to the editor:
Spring has come,
| Oh hum,
Sergeant Hugh McCord was demon
| strating to the men at Camp Mills
the value of the new shrapnel he'll
NETS in warding Off hard knocks.
Through the aid OF Private Joseph
| Schneider the demonstration was
most convincing.
''Hit me on the head" the helmeted
sergeant directed Schneider. who
picked up a club and whaled away.
"See?" quoth Mccord. after taking
several blows without wincing. They
| do the trick. Gee, but they are
heavy, thought
He took of his tin hat" just as
Schneider delivered a final wallop.
See what happens IL you don't
keep your helmet on" murmured Nc
Cord as he came to. fifteen minutes
later.
1t was Just before noon. A band
struck up on Broadway, near the
Post Office. The sidewalks were filed
with jostling, double streams Of hu-
man traff1c, each atom intent on his
personal affairs. The band was Just
band. 1t was on its way to do
its noon time duty on the Sub-Treas-
\ ury steps.
At the first roll Of drums the hu-
| man traffic thrilled. In a few sec
onds everybody was marching
Shoulders were Strengthened, heads
| came up. and what had been a
tangled mess subconsciously became
marching army: inchoate, ragged
In action. but still marching, every
one.
| There was the stenographer in
search of her early lunch, the stray
imp of an Office boy, the hurrying
clerk. and the travelling man from
Toledo. Ohio, up to the elderly mag
nate In an anachronistic silk hat and
white whiskers. marching. yielding to
the spell Of the rhythm Of other
marching feet and the call Of mar
| tial music. Perhaps there is an aus
picious omen in the incident.