davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
Hot Shots from
Evening Sermon

Jesus said. -Leve your neigh
bor n yOurseIf." The world
s.y.s aFirst come i. then I, then
I come asain.s
rhs ouly Spiritual grounds
Tor divorce Il adultery. When
! am q Roman Catholic from the
top OF my head to the soles OF
nay feet
Some people are 80 burned
sftngy that they never give
away ten cents that they don't
sing SGod be with you, tiII we
meet again"
I hsve met people so eontemp-
ffbly stinEy that they talked
through their nose to keep from
wearing out their false teeth.
They'd steal u fly from q blind
spider.
Ths liquor trafiie, thank God,
10 folding its tents and In pre-
pairing to creep into hell, out of
HMAcn u "rhSSieo us chrehsss
Any man with good. rich, red
blood In his system doesn't care
10 play second hddle to q bow
legEed bulldog.
Girls, II I were you, I'd rather
marry a man who In man enough
TO wear q pair OF 40-eent over
alls thsn TO hook up to some
Cuthbert who can play the man.
dolIn or the ukeIele, smoke Gig
nrettes and live on the old mans
pension
have no quarrel with society
only with the sinful usages of
society.
I'd rather n daughter of mine
would kiss n blind hog through
barbed wire fence on Friday
night the 18th of the month than
to change partners three nights
. week with the lights turned
out.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
Gems from Biny's
Talk In Afternoon

In nearly every city 4 visit 4
am nsked why don't preach
against the Catholics I will tell
you We have too much dirt and
rubbish In the Protestant door
yard-it keeps me busy about
that.
The Roman Catholic Church
has said High Mass over the re-
mnins-over the rotten remains
of UnitarinnIsm I'm all axes of
the worlds history.
don't propose TO stand around
and let any one make q bsttIe on
Jesus Christ.
Hank some OF the ErOans and
pessimism out of your prayersg
shove I'm some neeIamatIons of
triumph.
This city fs q Sunday school
compared to ancient Babylon.
Faith will put the ball over the
fence I'm the last half of the ninth
inning, with the score , 10 o
against you, bases full, two men
out and two strikes and three
balls called on you
II you hear me say anything
rood about the Turk while am
here you will know 1 am bug
house or nuts.
There are just as good Chris
tisns in the Protestant church
m there are In the Catholic. and
there are Just as good hypOcrItes,
too
II you take CkristianIty cut Of
the world you will sound the
death kneII of morality.
believe . poor church mem
her 1s better than none at all,
and q soldier who breaks every
regulation of the. military power
ana who will 20 on the firing line
Ia n better man, he In more loyal
than the GOd-fOrsskeB mutt who
will sneer and will not enlist
and keeps other people from en-
listing.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

decision in your favor IL yoa put
them there"
Jesus Christ said. 'whosoever
be servant of all"
The world says, If you want to
be some pumpkins. you must keep
q valet"
Divorce and veracity.
Jesus Christ said, what God
hath Joined together let not man
put asuuder."
The world says. Il will divorce
you and marry another woman and
that will not be sim"
You lieI
The only scriptural grounds for
divorce Is adultery. When 1t comes
ito the divorce question i am a Ro-
man Catholic from the top OF my
head to the bottom of my feet. I
believe the Bible teaches that you
have a right, my friend, to get q
divorce on Scriptural grounds. but
you never have a right to remarry
as long as the one from whom you
are divorced is alive.
am an ordained minister OF the
gospel, so help me God I shall never
prostitute my manhood and high
and honorable calling to unite In
marriage any man or woman that
has ever been divorced for any rea-
son. as long as the man or woman
from whom he or she Is divorced Is
alive!
One day in Chicago a fellow came
up and rang the doorbell, and oh,
he was dressed fit to kill! Had on a
silk lid; he had a diamond in his
shirt front as big as a hickory nut,
patent leather shoes, a Prince Al
bert coat, silk lined, hung below
his knees; and there was a girl
about Is years of age-a peach OF
a girl-one OF these kind of girls
you'd involuntarily turn and look
at twice IL you saw her on the
understanding by his side.
When Billy Reniged.
So he tipped his lid and said
Does the Rev. Mr.. Sunday live
here?'
I said. II am he"
He said. viii you oficiate at our
wedding?"
said. Have you the marriage
license?"
He said, Sure Mike"
said. I'm from Missouri, come
across
So he pulled It out and I looked
at it and I said, That looks good
to me-"
said. Have either of you beer
married before?"
He said. Not the young lady;
have"
I said, your wife living ol
dead?"
He said. She's alive
1 said. Beat it-twenty-th three fol
you. you lobster"
He said. What do you meant"
I said. II mean according to my In
depreciation OF the Bible 1 haven't any
right to hook you up to that girl"
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

Holy Spirits army Is not what st
should be-"
81 know there are some people in
the church." he said. that are un-
worthy. but we've got a right to
one in twelve. Jesus had twelve dis
ciples, and one OF them was a devil
sometimes. We've got q right to
one in twelve. Somebody said IL you
want to introduce one person to an
other you must stand mighty close
to the person you desire TO intro
duce. 1 am mighty sorry II there
isn't any man in church that hasn't
lived sufficiently close to Jesus Christ
by their life and conversation TO be
able to introduce you to the Son Of
God who takes away the sins Of the
world.
Work of the Church.
But il you ever come into the
light of the Gospel; IL you ever know
what 1t is to have the peace OF God
that passeth all understanding; IL you
ever walk the streets Of heaven; il
you ever sit down at the marriage
feast of the Lamb; If you ever wave
the palms of victory in that trium-
plant throng. It will be because OF
the prayers and the tears and the
groans of the church; and I abso-
lUtely haven't one symptom Of re-
spect for any man or woman that
links themselves with the opposition
and sneers and derides and mocks
at the church. II you don't like
the church of Jesus Christ you are
living on the wrong side, and We will
give you your passport any time
you want it and you can beat. We
believe in Jesus Christ
I'd have as much respect for you
IL you pointed a finger Of scorn at
your mother as I would the man
who sneeIs and spits out his venom
at the church OF Jesus Christ"
Billy recalled several stories OF
Incidents in the Revolutionary,
Civil and Spanish-American wars to
emphasize the bravery and fear
l,ssness OF "our Country's Grena-
diers."
Napoleon's Drummer Boy.
He wound up with this state
ment:
II feel. my friends, in this con-
flict for God a good deal like the
drummer-boy in Napoleon's army.
AAS " AAAlAs LoCal ~iG L
He made no reply. and Napoleon
said, Boy, ] command you, beat n
retreat No answer. The third
time, I command you, Roy, beat a
retreat and the boy looked up ard
said, I don't know how, sir. Mon
sieur Dessaix never taught me that
I can beat a charge that will make
the dead waken into life. beat
1t at Marengo. beat it at Auster-
litz. beat it at Tabour; may I beat
it here?' And he did. over the
dead, over the dying, through the
trenches. over the guns. over the
horses, bareheaded. hair streaming
in the wind, blood coursing down
his cheeks and dyeing his his gar
ments. he led the way to victory.
81 say to the forces of evil. say
to the enemies of God, we don't
know how to beat a retreat
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
Sunday Gets Decision In
First Round with Devil
Evangelist in Opening Sermon Flags Sin and
Sinners, Raps Critics and Tells of
His Finances.

In his opening sermon yesterday
morning Billy Sunday preached Oh
Have Ye the Holy Ghost?" His text
was from the nineteenth chapter of
Acts. second verse: Have ye re-
ceived the Holy Ghost since ye be-
lieved?"
Mr.. Sunday pictured the coming of
the Holy Spirit at Pentecost and
again over the River Jordan when
Jesus was baptized. He emphasized
that there have been but two such
manifestations and that the probabili-
ties are there will never be any others
this side of the grave
He spoke of "grieving' the Spirit
by the wrong use Of our lips, and de-
clared:
Raps Petty Offenders
There is many a man who wouldn't
keep somebody on the side, who
wouldn't stagger and reel home into
the arms of his wife, but he will
stoop to do the mean, contemplate,
dirty, scurrilous. derogatory, under
handed, villifying. little things that
show that he Is led by the flesh and
not by the Spirit, although he may
have been baptized, sprinkled and
immersed every fifteen minutes,
knows the catechism from A to z, and
has been confirmed every half hour!
There are multitudes of themr'
Billy declared there is mo fog or
mist over the eyes and mind Of the
Holy Spirit" neither is there any
about eternal damnation for the i'm
penitent IL he does not turn from his
sin and yield to Jesus Christ"
where there Is no love you cannot
grieve," said the evangelist 'It is
analogous to the feelings OF a mother
whose heart breaks because her boy.
by some act, has put stain upon the
family escutcheon that nothing can
ever erase-because that girl, by her
good-for-nothing. coquettish ways and
her Goddess. wayward life, and the
miserable bunch she goes with, she will
soon present to the world the mute
evidence OF Illicit affection, and by her
you help to feed the red light Of
some great city.
''Or the man who swore to be true to
you as long as the sky and. waves
were blue and has turned from that
marriage vow and broken 1t as II It
were made Of spider webs, until he
has made the name synonymous with
everything InaI Is low down, groVelllng
and infamous in the world"
God Helped Joshua.
Billy emphasized that he does not
find Go. coming in physical contact
or working with His hands. That's
the work of the Holy Spirit, he pointed
olt, ''seking to WOO and win you from
the paths Of sin."
When Joshua fought the battle"
said the evangelist. "he saw that the
sun would go down and it would be
dark before he could finish the con-
fict. He said: Lord. it's taking me
longer thon I figured out, and IL you've
got some way just to prolong this day
and keep the sun from behind the
western hills III lick this bunch to a
frazzle and IN send your name ring
ing down the ages!'
And God reached pp and grabbed
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

bunch. and III bet you ten bucks
that I can make him mad"
The wager was made. These two
uren had a business transaction and
the doctor purposely falsified the ac-
count in order to test the religion
Of his brother-in-law, the. professor.
and in response to some question
that the doctor knew was q lie (for
he was trying to string him and put
one over on him, and the professor
knew he was) the professor Jumped
to his feet and said,
You're a liar. Get out OF my
house"
And he drove him out. And bis
/ brother-in-law, the doctor. took UP
his hat and went, somewhat crest
fallen to think that so great and good
man had sidestepped. but highly.
elated- to think he had rightly in
! terpreted human nature and was a
ten-spot ahead.
So they went to their homes and
'etire6. Soon the old doc was reel
ing her of like a Twin Six. and the
old professor was rolling and toss
ing with a troubled insomnia, and
he arose at o'clock in the morn
ing and dressed, walked four miles
across the city and as the sun came
tripping DER the banks of myrrh, he
raped on the door. His brother-in-
law opened 1t and he said,
Yesterday called you a liar. I
am sorry I did it. have come to
ask you to forgive me-"
And he drew him in and said, 'Tf
that's religion. that's the brand I'm
looking for. and I think I'd better
take a good old hypodermic injec-
ton Of the good old-time, worth-dy-
ing-for religion"
GFOrgIve Your Debtors.s
What did Jesus Christ say? I
haven't time If you had the DISPOSE
tion to hear all taht he had to say.
but listeni
Jesus Christ said. Forgive your
debtors"
And the world says. Sue them for
their dough"
Jesus Christ said, TITS more
blessed to give than to receive"
The world says, Get all you can
and then can all you get"
Jesus said, Give to him that ask
OF thee turn not away"
The world says. Go to the Asso-
ciated Charities. I subscribe"
Jesus Christ said, You can't
serve God and mammon.'
The world says. God on Sunday,
mammon through the rest OF the
week.
Jesus said. Love your neighbor
as yourself"
The world says. First come I,
then I. then come again"
Jesus Christ said. Him that smit-
eth thee on one check, turn to him
the other also"
The world says. Call a cop"
Jesus Christ said. Let him that Is
among you without sin cast the frst
stone"
! The world says. Choose judges
that know the law and will give a
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

God Almighty will pump your old
carcass full of embalming fluid.
Since when do you run this world
because you've got whlskers and
breeches7
And she said TO me, well. what
will I do? Will leave him?'
/ said. NO. You oughn't TO have
married the old hog in the first
place" / said, There where you
dropped your candy"
And her little boy about 2-oh, he
wasn't quite years old. came bound
ing into the room with his cheek all
bruised and bloodshot, my friends,
where a man had struck him She
said. Wont you 20 down and see
him?''
I said. "what for? I'd get into a
fight with him. II you were my daugh-
ter. SO help me God, I'd lick him"
He was working for the American
Express Company. so I went down TO
see him.
strolled In with all my Chesterfield
impoliteness. with my suave manner
ism. and said. as / leaned over the
counter:
How do you doT' and called him
up in the neighborhood and seen your
wife. Everybody's talking about what
you did and they are thinking about
having you pinched, but ! have been
stalling them on" I said, They
asked me to come down and see you.
so I did. You oughtn't to treat her
that way. She wants TO go to church;
you ought TO be encouraging her"
And n 0frf sfr Of 81
angular. triangular. hair-splitting.
blister-mouthed. blood-curdling oaths.
He called me everything he could lay
his vile tongue TO. and IL all the en-
nifty in his heart, ranking against
me and against religion had been In
jected into his stomach. he'd have
died OF black vomit in three minutes.
Business Behind the Counter.
1 was graduated from FIVE gymna-
Sums; l can go so fast for five
| rounds you can't see me for dust. ]
! put my hand on the counter and ]
went over there like a shell out of a
mortar. and he jumped backward 10
grab a .52-caliber gun that was lying
there. / jumped between him and the
gun and said:
Don't you move TO touch that. II
you do they will take you up with q
dust pan and a whiskbroom.
He said to me. You have no bust
ness behind the counter"
said, You are right. Neither have
you any business to call me the in.
| famous names that you have, cir.
and I said, land you 20 ahead and
I'd advise you to get your photograph
| taken because your wife won't know
you when you go home in the Red
| Cross ambulance" I said, "You gel
out from behind that counter and
come out here on the sidewalk and I'll
| show you the finest demonstration oi
muscular Christianity you ever looked
at"
And II that gink had come out rC
have backslid long enough to have
licked him. But IL I had, I'd have
gone up against that verse-see,
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

the sun and said: You stay there and
don't you move an inch until Joshua
gives you the high ball."
Mr.. Sunday raped "egotistical
self-contentment" and declared it to
be one of the curses of the world
and of the church. He raped also,
church organization"
I'VE are organized to DEATH" he
said. We've got so much machin-
cry In the average church you can
hear it speak when you start in. We
haven't got oil enough for the Holy
Ghost to grease one axle of Gods
chariot-that's what's the matter
with US today, we've got the Y. NJ.
c. A, and we've got the Y. w. c. A.,
we've got the Y. P. s. c. E, we've
got the B. Y. p. u, we've got the
c. E, we've got the W. F. ". H.,
we've got the ]. E. L. and the
J. e. /. l. VS.. 1t gets a man bug
house.
Drop into an average young peo-
pies meeting and the leader says in
a weak. negative, falsetto, apollo
getic, sissifled sort of mannerism,
This is a splendid topic this even
ing. I have been so busy I haven't
had time for preparation"
Its superhuous to say that, It
wouldn't take the bunch long to
find he's all in. I hope you will
feel free to take part Somebody
gets up and reads a poem from the
Christian Endeavor Herald and
then along comes someone and says,
Let's sing No. 49, and they sing,
oh. to be Nothing, Nothing; Only
to Sit at His Feet
Like Unknown Quantity.
"Two-thirds of them are like in
Algebra Someone says, Let's sing
No. 81 They all get up and sing,
Throw out the Life Line, Throw out
the Life Line when they haven't got
strength enough to put up a clothes
line.
Then a long pause and hear the
organ pealing that prelude and then,
Let us arise and repeat our benedic-
ton and be adjourned The Lord
watch between me and thee when we
are absent, one from another
Yes, and Gods got a hard Job on
his hands!''
Billy here challenged the forces Of
evil' in Washington.
"And I say to the forces of evil in
this city," he shouted, "that have fed
and fattened and gormandized. out
ragged, ruined men and women
and children, impoverished, sent
them shrieking and screaming
down into hell; and all the
good-for-nothing. Godforsaken. in
iquitous, rapacious, mendacious, buff
foons, mountebanks, poltroons, sexual
and moral perverts that have brought
them into degeneration, that have
cursed and damned this whole earth,
Come on; come on!"
Tells Of Finances.
Here Billy took up his finances.
Now then, let me tell you some
thing" he said. IT DON'T want your
money. want you" They say, 'Oh,
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
Tells of Finances.

Here Billy took up his finances.
Now then, let me tell you some
thing" he said. 'I DON'T want your
money. want you" They say, 'oh,
he works for money I haven't got
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
HY CALL YE Me LORD LORD, AND DO NOT THE THINGS SAY?"

in
Can
Asma n
Creor-D Standard to
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
His InadeI Brother.

I heard Of a professor who was a
Christian He had a brother-in-law,
\ doctor. who was an infidel and this
doctor said the reason that all Chris
tians didn't sin was because they
weren't sufficiently tempted. Some
body challenged the statement, and
said:
whats the matter with your
brother-in-law. the professor?'
Hs said. sIJs like the rest Of the
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
In Ged's Service.

II everybody loved God and served
Him, what a happy place this old
world would be, and If everybody
could do the will of God! Every
body. my friends. has some verse
in the Bible that's hard for you.
Here's the hardest verse in the Bible
for me to live up to-honest confess
sion is good for the soul-"Resist
not evil. If a man smite thee on
one cheek, turn to him the other
also" don't know whether I have
gotten down to that one-cheek basis
or not. If a fellow would swat me
on one cheek, think I'd clear for
action like a battleship.
Love your enemies. Bless them
that curse you and do good to them
that hate you and pray for them
that despitefully use and persecute
you"
II you think that's easy, try It
out. I'm trying my level best to
live up to 1t. I've got a combative
nature. I've got a temper like a
sheet-iron stove-a bunch of shaw
ings and a bundle of paper and a
match will make It red hot in two
minutes.
want to think Tn making a lit
tie headvay, Ask Mrs Sunday
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

IL you take ChristisnIty cut Of
the world you will sound the
death kneII Of morality.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

There are Just as good Chris
tians In the Protestant church
M there are In the Catholic, and
there are Just as good hypOcrItes,
too
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

II you hesr me say anything
rood about the Turk while i am
here you will know 1 am bug-
house or nuts.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07
-

ooNrSuEp ON PAGE ELrEn
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

have no quarrel with society
only with the sinful usages of
society.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

.QoNrINuEp oN nAeE EIEyEN,
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

Any man with good. rich, red
blood In his system doesn't care
20 play second nddle to n bow
legEed bulldog.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

Some people are 80 burned
Stingy that they never give
swuy ten cents that they don't
sing sGOd be with you, tiIl we
meet again"
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

rhs liquor traffie, thank God,
10 folding fits tents and In pre-
pairing to creep into hell, out of
which u wriggIed its carcass.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-07

The Roman Catholic Church
has said High Mass over the re-
mnins-over the rotten remains
of UnitarinnIsm I'm all ages of
the worlds history.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04

READERS
RELIABILITY
RESULTS
POR SALE RIAL ESTATE.

FOR SALE
50s w. Fourth &C.. o T.. D.. .. a b
1913 " Third 8t.. r. D.. D. h"t Na''f
heat
25Z7 Washington 81. = =. b o.. D
100 W Thirtieth 70. =. ~, r. p
10 "'n'"'s" KAsT RbR' T"
sos Poplar g. 10 p. y b..
r v Cor Ninth and Pine gee p n.
D., h., store property
NJ r. COr seventh and klrkWf<G 5ff. p
r., b.. H.. store property
Dwelling a. Brock N. . p. p naF fi ri.T
convenience.
biao have q few desirable hofrss ~
Eicbards0n PARK
For fun particulars apply 20
HAWKINS h %.
Post0ffice square lO3 NiHtG
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04
FOR aAI.F

au,faro rian semi drtarhcd nome zen
rrofna bath thrre I,orcbes. no, water nea'.
gas and elecsric light. cement cellar ana III
modern improvements
24Of Carter So SIX rooms. bath. porcl
steam treat gas and electric light. hardwood
trim ccrnrnt cpiIar Practically new Pos
session juno ~
l2I2 Tatnau ~ eight rooms bath porch.
not wate- neat cement cellar and 81 modern
conrentencns Possession June -
We nave several properties mat can -
purchased on the rental plan. s0me of Faich
would make excellent roaming houses
If you rfsh "a purchase : property % the
Taeftrgtesr uaighfs section 10 nor fail m
-ali 4,fr ogstca i III eave e,,lite mum .r
- reer washington and ne Boulevard
Tor sale
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04
REAft1N Ais.

ALBERT BUCHER. the sign maker las
removed from ole Shipley street 60 ais
new building. 7i3 Shipiey street
WM A. MOORE. optometrist has moved
his office from III West Ninth street. to
9I9 Market street
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04

NE kEN b anu repair Aii nlaSce ttrs,, -t.tt-a
SOIL r-Ui-,r stamps. luQsl .uAt liuutta Anr
stationery Adlcc supply AlA Apcnri.e
Cl. -u5 r1E1 Buhd4nS ~ AS-N
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04

RA,S newspapers. mctaIs. furrnur. tnu
aN Kind, ~ uuk. MD pas igAcat lr.rs
M ID,.Awar, III Sloan. iU4 Nl.4l,au >.s.t
ID N A. phOu- i.+S-J
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04
PRINTING

ANDEN CAEI1S-SpociaI opportunity 70
gel index cards Any thing you nesu. All
kinds ana sizes. Chas. Ii. Gray priuter.
II East Eighth street
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-05-04

SlA TWO STORY RKICh HOU Sis.
WEST SIDE. SEVERED GOOD
CONDITION EXCELLENT IN
TESTAMENT. PHONE 2S2 4 ~
POSEN OR e. II. HAYDEN. 700
WEST NINTH STREET.