Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1918-04-10
CHAPTER XVIII.
STAGED Under Fire.


Three days after the incident just re
the front line and carried. We stayed
in reserve billets for about two weeks
when we received the welcome news
that our division would 60 back Of the
line ito rest billets." We would re-
main in these billets for at least two
months, this in order to be restored to
our full strength by drafts Of recruits
from Blighty.
Everyone was happy and contented
at these tidings; all you could hear
around the billets was whistling and
singing. The day after the receipt of
the order we hiked for five days, max
ing an average Of about twelve kilOs
per day until we arrived at the small
town Of o..
1t took us about three days to get
settled, and from then on our cushy
time started. We would parade from
8:45 in the morning until IL noon.
Then except for an occasional billet
or brigade guard we were on our own.
For the first four or five afternoons
spent my time in bringing up to date
my neglected correspondence.
Tommy loves to be amused, and be-
ing Yank, they turned to me for
something new in this line. I taught
them how to pitch horseshOes, and this
game made q great hit for about ten
days. Then Tommy turned to Amer
lea for a new diversion. I was up in
the air until happy thought came to
me. Why not write sketch and break
Tommy in as an actor?
One evening after flights out" when
you are not supposed to talk, l impart-
ed my scheme in whispers to the Sec
ton. They eagerly accepted the idea
of forming q stock company and
could hardly wait until the morning
for further details.
After parade, the next afternoon ]
was almost mobbed. Everyone in the
section wanted q part in the proposed
sketch. When Informed them that 1t
would take at least ten days of hard
work to write the plot, they were bit
terly disappointed. I Immediately got
busy, made a desk out of biscuit tins
In the corner Of the billet, and put up
sign "Empey & Wallace Theatrical
Co." About twenty of the section,
upon reading this sign, Immediately
applied for the position of Office boy.
I accepted the twenty applicants, and
sent them on scouting parties through
out the deserted French village. These
parties were to search all the attics for
discarded civilian clothes, and any
thing that we could use in the props
Of our proposed company.
About five that night they returned
covered with CRIME and dust, but load
ed down with a miscellaneous assert
ment of everything under the sun.
They must have thought that I was
going to start a department store,
judging from the different things they
brought back from their pillage.
After eight days constant writing I
completed a two-act farce comedy
which I called "The Diamond Palace
Saloon" Upon the suggestion of one
of the boys In the section sent proof
of the program to printing house in
London. Then I assigned the different
parts and started rehearsing. David
Belasco would have thrown up his
hands in despair at the material which
I had to use. Just imagine trying to
teach Tommy, with a strong cockney
accent, to impersOnate BOwery tough
or Southern negro.
Adjacent to our billet was an open
field. We got busy at one end of it and
constructed a stage. We secured the
lumber for the stage by demolishing
an old wooden shack in the rear of
our billet.
The first scene was supposed to rep
resent street on the Bowery in New
York, while the scene of the second
act was the interior of the Diamond
Palace saloon, also on the Bowery.
In the play took the part Of Abe
Switch, a farmer, who had come from
Pumpkinville Center, Tenn, to make
his first visit to New York.
In. the first scene Abe Switch meets
the proprietor of the Diamond Palace
saloon, ramshackle affair which to
the owner was a financial loss.
The prOprietOr's name was Tom
Twistem, his bartender being named
Fillem Up.
After meeting Abe, Tom and Fillem
Up persuaded him to buy the place,
praising it to the skies and telling
wondrOus tales Of the money taken
over the bar.
While they are talking, an old Jew
named key Cohenstein comes along,
and Abe engages him for cashier. After
engaging key they meet an old
Southern negro called SambO, and
upon the suggestion of key he is en-
gagged as porter. Then the three of
mem, arm IN arm, leave to take pos
of this wonderful palace which
Abe has just paid $4,000 for. (Cur-
tain.)
In the second act the curtain rises
on the interior of the Diamond Palace
saloon, and the audience gets it's first