The Lamar register., 1918-08-21

what hung around when any one WAS
buying and butted in for theirs by
telling how they was speed demons IN
their own special lines back in the
states" One of 'em, to hear him tell
it, had a couple of storehouses jammed
with medals he coppcd for hard hit
ting. Another one always recounted
how he was some long distant runner
having gone against the best in the
world not excluding the Pennsylvania
Limited. The third one never failed
to get in with story of his being the
original and great orator and having
once made Jim Ham Lewis jump off
the wharf in Seattle. One night a
big Sweede blows in from the Tanana
bought few rounds and listened to
those salve artists get it out of their
systems. When they was urging him
to unloosen his poke for another round
he scrt of leans up against the ma
hogany-only it was nothing but pine
and says:
wall, Aye tank Aye maik you show
guide"
The hard hitter proved to be run
ner. When last seen he had reached
the North Pole and was trying to
climb the darn thing without sanding
it, The long distance runner found
his pegs wabbly and sank down on
the floor with fright. The orator fail
ed to connect with his abilities and
was so badly handled he couldn't say
'nough.
Every time ! pick up country
paper and read a lot of rot about them
three fellows in the state house what
hog all the democratic publicity-Hub-
bard, holland and Leckcnby-I just
can't help thinking of them three stall
one grand round of pleasure in the
frozen north. IL sort Of makes me
sick at the stomach to think | am u
Democrat. Hubbard only makes me
laugh cause there amt anything in
his noodle anyhow and he is the only
human being in the world who don't
know he is a nut. Noland has some
brains; so has Leckenby, but that don't
give them no claim to all the virtue
in the land and no claim to being re-
sponsible for all that is good and pure
in the Democratic party. To hear No
land tell it since he slipped on the
beach and was carried into office by
a tidal wave. one would think the
second edition of the Dark Ages would
have been upon us had he not been
accidentally elected.
was back in Washington not long
ago to file my acceptance for one of
them dollar a year jobs to help this
government lambast Kaiser Bill, and
while there took occasion to drop in
and have nice chat with the Presi-
dent. Oh, know him. Went to school
to him and think during them years
had more private and confidential
chats with him during recess than any
lad in the school. He says to me.
Senator. you live in Colorado now
don't you ?" 81 admitted did and got
ready in case he pulled any Julius
Gunter froth ON me to let out roar
similar TO a Kamehatka injun when
some one sneaks of with totem pole.
"You have some great people in your
state" says he. Seeing he wasn't go
ing to mention Julius | thought pos
sibly it was Dodger John he was edg-
ing up to and had in minrd what
was going to tell him about that guy.
He sort Of smiled and says,
81 can get more unsolicited and
wholly valueless advice on how to run
this Office, how to manage the army
and navy, how to keep Congress do
ing as ! want them to do, how to
make Pershing speed up, how to soak
the corporation and get the coin, from
men in your state than from any other
state in the Union" felt certain he
WAS going to pull Ed Keating and Ben
Hilliard on me and thoughtless-like
commenced to peel my coat, when he
says.
''Yes, sir, Senator" as he informed
delegation in the hall to hit for the
tall timbers for time, "advice seems
to ooze out of the system of some
men in your state like mud from
meath n turtles nav" Now | was