davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
9HEN FATHER TELLS A JOKE
Mother Sees Nothing Funny In It and
0au0htsr's Glance Is Expressive
Of Her Pity.

"A ss men u man hears a joke which his
initive sense Of humor Classics as
ne funniest thing he had ever heard"
SS.le hurries home to bear the glad It'd
sHngs to his wife. Father produces his
great discovery, but mothers counte-
nance remains untroubled by so much
los q smile, observes the New York Eve
ming Sun. Nine wives out of ten will
5gaxe blankly into that interesting
3emptiness to which woman's eyes
ARE continually travelling over her hus-
hands shoulder. The tenth and cruel
5gest$ creature will wither her spouse
with penetrating stare which regis
tiers: II see nothing-absolutely moth
.Npe Sunny in that" ,- .~
Disguised and baffled, the husband
lis the same joke to his daughter.
n Ter only Indication of amusement
~ a plying uplift of the eyebrows
and a subsequent absorption in her
q knitting. ...
With his finger on the last unbroken
string Of hope father approaches his
J. nearest masculine relative. At last sue
cess IS his, for his son or his son-in-law
Ar Ills uncle roars, applauds and slaps
IN on the. back. Father bows to i'm
fnary audiences and compliments his
6SllOw man on his perspicacity and his
fortunate possession of n sense Of HUI
s1nor. He pities "tlDse women-those
moor defective women"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
Hard on Night Owls.

Frederick Palmer has brought some
grim humor from the front. Recently
at lecture at the Academy of Music
he told the following:
Gan Irish soldier in the forces of
the king said to his commander: Cap
tain, thought We were to take vii
lage today
"'And that is just what we did, re.
piled the captain. See that wide
stretch Of pits and holes that we just
came through. That's the village
"Is that so? replied the astonished
Irishman. Then after pause, he add
ed: well, all can say is I'd hate to
be drunken man lOokin' for the key
hole Of my house in a town like
that !"-New Haven Register.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
CONVERSATIONS

New York feeds zoo animals or
horseteSh.
One of the best paying jobs for wom-
en- in Japan is that of hairdresSer.
Brooklyn, \. y, expects to run
trains in new sideways in 1918 au'
,tumn.
New York in 1917 spent $20,112,50O
for dwellings to house 67.4l0 persons.
In England it is mandatory to EN-
ploy at least 20 per cent of female Ia
Dor in Industrial plants.
The tailoring trade in New York city
has over 10000 women workers Of the
voting age who are unnaturaliZed.
Several women are acting rs news
paper correspondents behind the lines
along the battle front in France.
Qualified women lawyers in Italy are
about to be granted the privilege Of
practicing their profession in that
country.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
IlviRTUEs OF FLANDERS MUD
MANY Men Have Saved Their Lives
I. fsg by Flopping Into It When Big
III Shells Come Their Way.

Mud In Flanders is awful stuff, but
the three miles or so from the walls of
Afulned Ypres to the line that stretches
from HOOge, in front of Zillebeke, to
s.diM Sixty and beyond, has not blessed
I the mud7 All across the muddy fields,
slipping, sliding and blowing along, we
used to follow no pathway. avoiding
when possible fields where enemy
shells were falling. Then came, SOON
er or later, the inevitable droning,
rushing sound, to grow into Shrek
lnD big BOche shell came over, writes
frederic Coleman in the Saturday Eve
ming Post.
One was thankful for the mud, then,
4 for the advice I will give to man
under such circumstances, unless his
lob Is such that delay must be avoided,
III to 60 down flop! quick! into the
< lnud. The quicker and the more flop
md the more mud the better. That Is
4 ny way Of looking at 1t. Once you are
Down nj your worries are over. Let
III come! If the shell lands on you
Aefe WIN not be enough of you left.
IN do any worrying with. If it does
~ land on you the odds are over
h elmingly in favor Of your escape
xSom III injury.
Many a lad has lain fiat in the mud
zen 4 big sBlack Maria" landed near:
ii1d dug a hole into which you could
p6t couple Of taxicabs, and never;
BEEN bit the worse for it. Yes, the
nud has its uses. - &
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
He Picked up a Living.

Sir John Kirk, who recently cele-
brated his fiftieth anniversary of work
in connection with the Ragged School
union, tells an amusing anecdOte of
how he once questioned a London waif
whom he had befriended as to his
method of earning a living.
The young fellows reply was typical
Of the London street arab.
"'Nell, guv'nor." he said, 'it's like
this. I picks strawberries in the sum-
mer, I picks oops in the autumn. In
the winter picks pockets, and, as a
rule, I'm pickin' oakum for the rest of
the year."
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
How Deaf Mutes Feel Music.

According to teachers Of deaf ln,ites,
musical instruction is more important
as an educational factor for the deaf
child than it is for the hearing, says
the Popular Science Monthly.
The parts most sensitive to vibra'
tons are the chest, head, lungs and
feet. IAN exciting feeling comes up
through the floor" is the way one deaf
boy describes it. "Without music
would be lonesome" wrote n little
Italian deaf mute ut gives me a
strong shock through the feet to the
head" stated another. Others, when
asked to explain their sensations, said :
Il feel it in my temple and in my legs"
II feel it through my whole body" and
Il feel it in my chest and lungs"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

Fine wolfe is the most durable Of all
the sheer fabrics that are used fof
making summer blouses and for this
reason it deserves the fine needlewOrk
that is lavished on it. In the plain and
elegant blouse shown here, rows OF
tucks and small pearl buttons are used
for decoration. The faultless work
manslip required to make groups of
tucks centers Alteration on them and
being accomplished they prove the best
of all adornments for the tailored
blouse.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

While the shipbuilding plants can't
get workmen on account of the short.
age of houses nearby, thousands of
have been lying stored
up for the winter and could transport
the workers 20 miles each way a day.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

The Russians were the first people
in the history of the world to discover
that the way to win your freedom is
to throw away countless millions of
military equipment and run for the
tall timber, 81" q
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
Grace and Utility.

II think I'll learn to be one Of these
Greek dancers" said Mr.. Dolan.
"What for?" inquired Mr.. Rafferty,.
II like the exercise, waving your
arms and all that Even if don't land
as a regular dancer it ought to get me
q Job as traffic cop"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOR RENT: SMALL FRAME
building just north of the Review
building. Reasonable rental. Inquire
|of r. P. Conner at the Review office.
SLIT
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FURNITURE FOR SALE: WE OF.
fer for sale part OF our household
goods, including dining room and bed
room furniture, chairs, couch, kitchen
cabinet, rugs, curtains, gasoline stove,
fruit jars, washing machine, etc. All
first class furniture in good condition.
Call at residence on Broadway. W.
w. Ferguson. loft
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
CARD OF THANKS

We wish to extend our sincere
thanks to our kind friends and neigh
bors who assisted us during the ill.,
ness and at the death Of our beloved
mother, Mrs. c. Stahl. We also wish
to thank those who sent flowers.
F.. c. Stahl,
Mrs. Fl. F.. Meyer.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

Mayor Laub demonstrated at the
cayicus Friday evening that he could
make d speech when called upon. even
~ the satisfaction Of the Bulletin ed
i dtOr, L
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOUND: A STRAY CALF, 8 MOS.
old, red with white spot on forehead.
Owner can have same by proving prop
erty. VIM. Steinker,ller. Phone Alb.
.,. 11-2t%
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
e FOR SALE.
TO RENT. ~.
q EXCHANGE
One Cent Per Word Each Inssr,

LOST-A SILK LACE COVERED
handbag, containing crocheting, he.
tween Fastje's store and the ridge
road along route I. Finder please
phone Ash. Hit. +
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

DRESsMAKlNG SCHOOL: THOR.
ough instruction in cutting. designing,
sewing and everything pertaining to
the subject. of dressmaking. An un.
limited number of lessons. Satisfac.
ton guaranteed. Shows College, De.
borah Tomkins, Manager. 42-tf
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
CARD OF THANKS.

We wish to sincerely thank all our
kind friends who assisted us at the
time Of the death and burial Of our be-
loved husband and father, c. J. New
com, and also for the beautiful floral
offerings which were sent.
Mrs. G.. J. NewcOm
and Children.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

WANTED: POSITION IN GENER-
| al homework. Inquire at Review Of
flee. Tilt
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

iowa wheat and Iowa potatoes for
Iowa people would be good slogan
for Iowa this year." says the Webster
City Freeman-JOurnal.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOR SALE-PURE BRED REGIS
tered red and roam Short Horn bulls.
one 80 months old, another Is months
old, the balance yearlings. John r.
Robinson, Denison. Vail phone.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
FOR RENT

FOR RENT: FIVE ROOMS DOWN
stairs in my home in North Denison.
Electric lights and furnace. Mrs. j.. w.
Burlington. Inquire at Review Office.
11-2t
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE-A 100000 kIMBALL
mahogany player-pianO and bench,
with some rolls. at bargain. Write
Potter Music Co., Jefferson, Iowa.
before March 18th. 9-3t
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

HOUSE WANTED: WISH TO
rent five or six room house, either
modern or partly modern, for family
OF three. Call 1852 or see me at Re-
view office. O. e. Gaylord. loft
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOR SALE: QUANTITY OF NICE
clean timothy seed, 1917 crop. Will
sell at $500 per bushel. John Elem
ing, Deloit. Phone, Vail line ISM.
1O.3t
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOR SALE: AT LAKEWOOD FARM,
4 miles west Of Denison, 10 Polled
Durham cows and heifers, II steer
calves, 6 to IL months old; recorded
Polled Durham bull calves, and our
herd bull, Butterfly Duke, years old.
Hans v. Brodersen, lakewood Farm,
r. F. D. 4, Denison, Iowa. Phone
34-Z. loft
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

ALL THOSE WISHING WILD
baled hay should see George Davis,
Denison. 1t is choice upland hay. 6-tf
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
PERSONAL

WANTED: MAN TO WORK ON
farm. David Comstock. Phone Al
11-1t$.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

FOR SALE: ONE BURBON RED
turkey tom, two years old; price 81 90;
also one young tom, price $500. j. l..
Riggleman, Deloit, Iowa. Phone 81.
10.4t
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

WANTED: A POSITION ON A
farm by married man with small fam
lily. Ralph Roy. Phone 46-Z. 11-1t*
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

WANTED: A SCHOOL GIRL TO
work for her board. Inquire at the
Review office. loft
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

. F.. WHO'LL WRITE A JOLLY MAID
en- of means? Object marriage, Stamp
for reply. Lillian Sproul, Station H,
Cleveland, o. 7-7t$
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

YES, l HAVE CHOICE RED GLOW
Ell, WHITE CLOVER, ALSYKE, AL
FALFA, BLUEGRASS and TIMOTHY
at lowest market rates. J. G. Wygant.
11.2t
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

WANTED TO RENT: A ROOM TO
store furniture. Phone 555. 11-1t*
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

GET YOUR HARNESS REPAIRED
and oiled now at the Denison Harness
Shop. 6-tf
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY YOUR
new harness. The Denison Harness
Shop is the place. G.tf
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13

AUTO LIVERY, DAY AND NIGHT
service. Phone 6. Campbell & Black
man, Laub's barn. lists.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
BUSINESS BRIEFS

DON'T THROW YOUR OLD HAIR
ness away. Have it repaired and oil
ed now at the Denison Harness Shop.
6.tf
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1918-03-13
LIVESTOCK FoR SALE.

FOR SALE.-Duroc Jersey boars, sir.
ed by my 900 lb. Grant Defender
Phone 80 J. B. w. Hunt, Denison,
Iowa. Att.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Soap Berry Tree.

The jaboneello or soap berry tree
grows in the humid parts Of western
Ecuador. 1t attains a height OF about
fifty feet and has wide-spreading
branches and immense quantities OF
fruit Of the size and shape OF cherries.
The nearly transparent yeIlowish skin
and pulp surrounding the round black
seeds are so Saponaceous as to be
used instead Of soap by many people
Of Ecuador, being equivalent to more
than fifty times their weight Of that
material.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Hot Water DRINKING.

A stomach cleansing treatment Is
often just as important as a rest for
the organ, says VIM. Eastman in Ply
steal Culture. The best ordinary meth
cd Of stomach cleansing is the drink
ing Of a considerable amount Of hot
water. Not too hot. Just not enough
so that you can drink It with fair "a
pidity and take a considerable amount
into the stomach in a short time. If
you viii drink a cup OF hot water ev-
cry five minutes until two quarts or
more have been consumed, the result
will be unfaiIing.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
any unusual subject apply too openly
TO anyone especially.
Huue Shadow.

Shadows, naturally enough are Of
various sizes, and one can imagine
that mountains throw very large shad-
Ows indeed. It Is said that the peak
Of Teneriffe. on the largest Of the
Canary islands, throws such a huge
shadow that IL stretches as far as 90
miles across the water, partly over.
tapping some OF the other islands
Christian Science Monitor.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Feed rwn Oceans

While making measurements of river
flow In the upper Mississippi river bas-
ins and in the Hudson Bay recently,
the United States geological survey
discovered that some of the rivers I'M
der investigation empty into the Arctic
ocean during certain seasons and into
the Atlantic ocean at other times
Popular Science Monthly.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
chamberIain and oranon-

Lady Jeune once asked Joseph
Chamberlain why, in his opinion, so
many men fall short OF their ambition
And Mr. Chamberlain answered: 'sThey
come to the place where they turn
back. They may have killed the dra-
gOn at the first bridge, and az the sec
ond, perhaps even at the third; but
the dragons are always more fornid-
able the farther we go. Many turn
back disheartened. and very few will
meet, the monsters to the end, but
those who do have won forever"
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Useful Palm.

In the 1owlaDds of the delta OF the
OrinocO river the natives build huts
suspended between trunks of Mauritia
hexuOSa, a palm. They also eat its
fruits. its farinaceous pith, its sac
charine juice, and use the hbers of its
leaf stems for making ropes, ham
mocks, etc.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Bio sunhowers.

Giant sunhowers that grew in a gar
den at Llanduff, Wales, were raised
from a seed brought from Australia,
and one reached the extraordinary
height of u feet. It held only one
bloom, which was is inches in Diane
ter. The giant entirely dwarfed its
English cousins close by.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Salt SuperstitIcns.

The kernel OF all the salt supersti-
tons seems TO be this: Salt cannot be
corrupt, and has, therefore, the title
to be regarded as q symbol Of immor
tally. In Ireland 1t was for long the
custom to place a pewter plate con-
tanning salt upon the heart Of the
corpse until burial. Then, with Goals
and holy water, 1t was thrown into
the grave.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
The Model aHoss.g

Twill say this respecting the horse
and have had much to do with every
variety and kind-that for docility,
for faithfulness and for cheapness of
maintenance, give me the horse who
never sheds his coat or is bothered
with ingrowing tOenailS, who remains
wherever you place him and is ever
on the job when he's wanted. That
horse is the sawhorse-Zim in Car
ICONS Magazine.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Tablets Of Stone.

The library of the School Of the
Sons Of the Empire. an ancient Chi
nese university which, it is said, was
In existence a thousand years before
Christian era, comprises 182 tablets
OF stone, wherein are carved all the
''18 classics," the essence of Chinese
culture
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Even-Toned Wood

Small splinters of the wood OF old
CremOna violinS, when vibrated with a
bow, have been found to give in
variably the same note; and that note
is always n tone higher when the wood
is taken from the belly of the instru-
ment than when it comes from the
back.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Demanded Attention.

Irene's mother was i'll, and sympa-
thiZing visitors sat at her bedside, di-
recting all their attention to the in
valid. The little girl stood by quietly
for a while, till she could bear the neg
lect no longer. Holding up her hand,
she began looking for some injury, and
finding an imaginary trace Of a for
gotten hurt, she exclaimed reproach-
fully, Eyes, but look at me. dot a
sore fingerI"
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Area Of Surface Of the Earth.

The superficial area Of surface Of
the earth is estimated TO be 1e6. 49,
coo square miles, OF which $500, 900
square miles are land and IA csc, coo
square miles water. OF the entire land
portion the best estimates place the
fertile regions at 100000 square
miles; unproductive plains, 100000
square miles; deserts. 4ss61. 900 square
miles; polar regions Of iee-bound land
and water, $4,000 square miles.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Insect LANGUAGE.

Insects, like birds and animals, have
their calls, naturalists say. But the
sounds they produce include the rub
bling together Of their limbs or wing
covers and the vibration of thelI
wings, so they cannot always be spok.
en- Of as voices. Flies and bees un
dOubtedly mean something when they
hum louder and louder.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
COURAGE.

Courage is not simply the absence
Of fear. To be brave is not merely not
10 be afraid. Courage is that compact
ness and clear conference OF all a mans
faculties and powers which makes his
manhood an operative unit in the
world.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Saw Little cowIets.

It was Anita's first trip to the coun-
try. She was particularly interested
In the mother and baby COWS" On
her return to the city she was telling
one Of her playmates all about the
farm "And," said she, ST saw lots OF
COWS and the cutest little cow1ets."
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
The Newest TheoIoov.

a boy at a recent examination in
Scripture was asked where Cain went
after he killed Abel. He replied that he
went to bed. The teacher wanted tc
know how he made that out He said
Its In the chapter, sir. that Cain
after he had killed Abel, went to the
land OF NOd."-Christian Herald.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
MANY HummIno Birds.

Seventeen species of humming birda
are summer visitors In the United
States These winter from southern
Florida to Central America. Thou
sands of humming bird skins are ex-
ported annually from Brazil, Venezuela
and Guiana to be used In the making
Of ornaments.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Gasoline Money Now.

We can remember the time when
a man used TO have to run back to
the house to borrow car fare from his
wife now and then. Nowadays he
touches her for gasoline money.-Ex-
change.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Muahroom IL Old.

The antiquity of the mushrooms
establishment In history may be read
both In the Bible and the treaties
of the Talmud. The mama that saved
the Israelites has been identified as a
mushroom Of commerce, growing In its
natural wild condition.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Be Optimistic.

Believe and hope, says q writer
Hope so much that IL will be difficuli
to believe all of 1t, but believe it any
way. In short-believe and hope that
all you believe will come true; and
hope and believe that all you hope viii
come TO pass some day.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
MiIkino Excited Him.

Henry, aged six, who had just been
in the barn watching his uncle milk
the cows, went in the house filled with
excitement and sat down to eat his
breakfast. Later when mother asked
him why he didn't drink his coffee, he
replied, "Oh, mother, I forgot to milk
I"
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
uesninn znd ReEnininn

Weep with them that weep, and for
them also that weep not for them
selves. Rejoice with them that re-
joice. and likewise rejoice for them
that rejoice not for themselves when
there is much to make them rejoice.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Etiquette.

There is an ancient saying that @One
should never speak OF a rope to a man
whose father was hanged" and there
is q great deal implied in those few
words. In effect, is meant that subjects
Of conversation should be carefully in
troduced where persons present are
not kRown to a certain extent; that is,
that nothing untoward has happened,
publicly. at least that would make
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Labor and the Matinee.

"Any man who goes to matinees lays
himself open. to the suspicion Of not
being a hard worker" Nonsense"
work ever did in my life was escort
ing my wife to an Ibsen Matinee
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Blue Water and Air

Pure water, according to Lord Ray
leigh, is greenish blue, while pure air
is blue, because, according to New
toms dictum, the molecules of the air
are sufficiently large to reflect blue
rays.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Smell Proved II.

Jack was fond of toilet water and
was always good to make q trip TO the
barber shop. One day after having
his hair cut his mamma asked him if
he got u good haircut, and he jerked
off his cap and said: 'TI say I did.
Just smell it."
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Ivory Billiard BALLS

The tusks of the COW elephant have
been found best adapted to the making
OF billiard balls. The tusk of the fe-
male is not so curved as that of the
male, and the fine nerve passage is not
SO clearly seen.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-06-27
Abraham's Chair.

The origin of chairs is lost in the
dim past. The Jewish legends declare
that Abraham made a chair with his
own hands from a tooth that fell out
of the mouth of Og, a huge giant in his
employ.