davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
A CONVINCING ARGUMENT

From the Kansas City Times.
 Mister Mayor and gentlemen" began Lafe Lazzenberry, the we'll known sleuth, addressing the governing board of the municipality of Grudge, T am candi- date for reappointment to the position of city marshal of our progressive little burg, As you know, from time imlnater- ial it has been the favorite pastime of the bullies and sports of all small towns to whip the marshal. During my mora or less checkered career in that capacity have been licked in round numbers, by about every ambitious poogelist in the community. After feller has licked the marshal time or two it grows sorter tame to him and he gives 1t up and turns his talons to something else. So I re- spectfully reckon, gents, that I am the logical candidate A new man would have to go through all that. but having met my Waterloo so often have about had my quoter. and should be practically immune
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
County to Have
 Many High Schools

7T7HE fact that the Shades -Cahaba
 O school district voted three mill tax Tuesday by large majority for the purpose of providing a high school building to cost approximately '$60,000 shows that the people are eager to advance along educational lines
 When the state ratified the consti tutional amendment authorizing each county to levy a three-mill tax for school purposes, a great step forward was taken. Nearly all the counties have availed themselves of this privi- lege, and now school districts are be- ginning to avail themselves of the second provision, that of authorizing them to vote an additional three mills to be applied to school improvement within the district.
 Birmingham as school district voted the additional tax by an over Whelming majority and the action of the Shades-C -Cahaba district will be followed by other rural districts in the county Boyles already has high school building and the Shades Cahaba high school will be the sec ond outside of Birmingham.
 Five or six more are needed.
 As the tax cannot be levied until next year, there need be no hurry about calling elections, but the people in every district without high school should begin an educational campaign this winter and be ready to roll up a decisive majority for three-mill tax when the time comes.
 Within the next two or three years every child in Alabama should have tho privilege of high school training without going away from home.
 If this state has stood near the bot tom in point of literacy, under the present educational laws, which in clude compulsory school attendance, the stigma of illiteracy will gradually vanish. The three-mill tax will speed the day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
Must Make The
 Drive Intensive

6T7HE united war work drive, begin
 Q ming next Monday, must be in tehsive from the start.
 The quotas for states and counties were apportioned on the basis of a
 total of $17o,5o0 900 to be raised in
 the United States. But that appor- .tionment was made many months ago.
 It Is now found that something like $250, 1000, GOO will be needed to carry on
 the work of the seven organizations included ill the united activities.
 r The appeal, therefore, for a 50 per
 cent oversubscription is not only req Isonable, but urgent With the ap- proach of peace the tension in many
 war-hke directions may be relaxed, but at no time since hostilities began .aave the boys at the front and the boys in cantonments in this country needed the fostering care of the Y. NJ. IC. A, the Young Womens Christian association, the Knights of Columbus, the Jewish relief, the Salvation Army,
 the war camp community service and the Library association so much as now. After peace has been concluded, the American army will remain in
 Europe year or more, and during the time intervening between the ces- sation of warfare and the return of our soldiers, the morale must be main tained, and the associations named must be supplied with adequate funds flor their benevolent ministratioas. The remarks of Secretary of War
 Baker in his address in New York last Sunday should be deeply im- pressed upon the people of this coun- try q do not know when the war
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
oommlssioner Gro,s nenrh

went by yesterday afternoon and took Commissioner John Taylor some outtermilk, and he didn't fail to do it justice either, said J. w. Latham oi the health department "Commissioner John said that they didn't turn him loose to satiate the longings of his pal ate until yesterday, but he had been making up for lost time on fried chicken and other appealing edibles since that time
 T found him in fine spirits The con- trast between his bald head and the abundant crop of whiskers he has sprouted since he has been sick is cer- tainly marked, and would be Imaginable were it not for his recent severe illness,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
IN HOTEL LOBBlES
 AND ELSEW HERE
rIay Joke on sia .no,yle

'I never SAW Syd Bowie hacked until election day. said pr. Gross Harrison T happened to be in an office with ex-Governor Jelks when he came in, and just for fun said, 'syd, can you give any good reason why democrat should not scratch his ticket today?' It got him going as I knew it would, and soon he was arguing that no in- dependent movement had ever amount ed to anything. That was just the trap we had laid for him and when we be- gan to laugh, he said But remember was talking about politics and not religion We all had good laush over it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
MOTHER srAND-BY GONE

From the Chicago Herald and Exam
 iner
 MT. Hoover has interdieted the rare bit and the club sandwich. What a burden has he thus imposed upon the F clock brain that is ground between mystifying columns of menu print and a desire to avoid bankruptcy! The gov ernment might offer a substitute fog the hand monologue.
 I'm not bit hungry. Pause) Oh. know what I'll take, Business of sudden discovery). Just bring me q club sandwich"
 To be sure, the old standby, ham and eggs, is spared to us by MT. Hoover. But who could be a successful blasc. onee-a- month loophound with H. X E. In front of him, even with seat near the orchestral
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08

more to feed one abroad. This is an increase over twenty years ago of $50 per cent.
 According to figures recently given .out by the war department, IS cents would keep a-soldier twenty years ago. The average cost per man in the Spanish-American war was 21.S1 cents; in 1908 it was 1866. While we were on the trail of Villa in Mexico the ration was 25 cents a day and in 1916 it had climbed to 26.87. When America declared war on Germany there was 9 sharp advance to forty cents. From July 1, 1917, to March 31, 1918, the average cost was 40.46. Naturally, the expense of transporta- tion and packing makes the price of food for our overseas army higher.
 Since Uncle Sam feeds his soldiers better than any other government in the world and civilians know what it costs them to subsist on the plainest fare, it can readily be seen that the government is as economical as con ditions will permit and provides an abundance of wholesome food at con- siderably less cost per man than would be found possible outside of the army. At present prices, a person might con- trive to subsist on fifty cents a day, but would eventually have lean and hungry look. Fifty cents won't go far in a grocery store and except in the cheapest restaurants, it's pur- chasing power is painfully limited.
 & % Ss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
From No Nlan,e Lnnd.

People certainly are interested in things from the war zone, said J, N. Howard, cashier of the Farmers and Merchants bank at Athens. "one norm ing an empioye of the bank brought a small flower and laid it on my desk, stating that it came from No Mans Land, People came by the scores to see and grasp the powder-burnt flower. It kept one busy answering the telephone and l was forced to put it in nearby window in self-defense. It was one of the biggest advertisements we have had in q long time.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
Changes Made in
s Staff


 h 6IENT was made yes
 ts3a M several important changes III the personnel of the Bir- mingham Ledger. James J Smith will remain president of the company. Robert c. Hiden, long associate edi- tor, was elected first vice president and treasurer and will succeed George M. Cruikshank as editor J. A. Mar tin, formerly advertising manager of the Progressive Farmer and gentle man of wide experience, joins the Ledger staff as vice president and ad- vertising manager. J. A. Waters was reelected secretary,
 MT. Martin is the new mana ger of the Ledger's advertising staff and it is predicted that he will prove a most valuable acquisition. He has been very success ful in the advertising field and is rec ognized as a keen, energetic business man with vision and ability to do big things. It is gratifying to know that MT. Smith, who is one of Birming- hamfs most highly esteemed citizens and has been largely instrumental in maintaining the Ledger's standing as one of the south's leading newspapers, will continue as president, while MT Hiden and MT. Waters are gentlemen whose character and ability have been of great service to the Ledger. The newspaper fraternity of Ala bama and the south will regret the retirement of MT. Cruikshank, who has been editor of the Ledger for more than twenty years. He is man of fine ideals, a sincere worker for the public good, fair and impartial student of affairs and an honored member of his profession, to which he has devoted the greater part of his life. He has always been one of Bir- naingham's most philosophical men, whose aid and sympathies were en- listed in every worthy cause. MT. Cruikshank has not announced his plans for the future.
 The Age-Herald extends it's best wishes to the Ledger and feels con- fident that it will continue as in the past to work for the upbuilding of Bir- mingham, steadily increasing it's ase- fulness and power and enjoying a wide spatronage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08

| chinery and guns rescued |
 many people as anyone thoug s be gotten aboard destroyer.
 Many of the American boys assa aits erwards from exposure. HundreaA were buried on little island off Ire- | land and an hundred or more, brought into Glasgow. were buried there.
 Yesterday we newspaper men while in Glasgow arranged for tablets in little Irish church and in church in Glasgow in memory of these gallant fellows who lost their lives in the trip over with us.
 To return to England's work in this war Almost every work here in Scot land and England is being done by the women and the old men. Edinburgh. with population of ssO,OoO people. enlisted 10000 men In the British army and navy. Some of the men cans from the surrounding country, but en- listed in Edinburgh So 1t was in Gias- gov. In these two great cities of Scot land the women are doing the work. They are driving street cars. motors, trucks and thousands of them are in the shops.
 Today ir Glasgow we saw 2soo boa nie Scotch lassies working at iathes, on cranes and in every department of a grea: shop making six-inch gas shells and eight-inch high explosive shells. They work in shifts going all hours of the 24, turning out many thousands of shells per week We iunched with these girls In their great dining room and spoke to and with them. They sang Scotch songs to us and were apparently the fappisst lot of lassies in all Scotland.
 Yesterday we saw women and men making great Handley Page airplanes with wing stretces of 13o feet. each. these airplanes carry crew of seven men and several machine guns. They are air monsters.
 In the same factory we saw them testing out the Deisel engines for sub- marines, to drive these craft 16 knots on the surface. We saw women aiding men in making Howitzers and gun car riages. We saw them at work on sub- marines of a new type several hundred feet long. and on cruisers and destroy CTS and upon every imaginable kind of machine of war and of carriers of commerce.
 It is indeed wonderful what the Eng fish and the Scotch have done and ar3 doing and in particular, what the women are doing. The women of all classes are at the bench, the lathe and in the shop, in blue uniforms of tbc pyjama type.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
T,urns Down Golf tin,u. {.

A friend of mine tackled me the other day with the desire to get me initiated into the mysteries of golf said Q. l.. Bum, the rate expert, and think l rather gave him offense, for thanked him, but declined, but ] told him that I might take it up whea got 50 or 60 years of age, as ]. rather suspected it was good game for old men. It rather got his goat as he vas under the deIusion that he is still in the youngster class.n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
LUKE N,LsINE SAYS

There are so many divorcees now adays that it would seem as though the women folks Imagined that U. $. A. meant United States of Aiimony-
 You may not believe 1t, But it hurts Q 60-year- old boy more to be scolded than it. does q 6-year-old boy.
 You have often met woman who has as much confidence in her husband as she has in her family doctor, haven { you? Neither have we,
 When some married couples are talk ing baby the poodle, out for an air l ing, you have to look at the poodle and the husband two or three times to make sure which is the dos
 Boy babies are more popular than girl babies-untl the girl babies get to be about 1l years old
 Don't get Discouraged Your tutor was q student. too, once upon time. and he didn't learn any faster than you are learning When they are first married they name their bungalow '"The Dovecote.' ties that the neighbors name it The Arena"
 And even the bItterest opponent of the supreme court will never accuse that august body of violating the speed limit.
 While a corn fed girl has larger show than the slim princess, the corn fed doesn't have to carry as much spe- cial scenery.
 The fact that she is wearing skirts doesn't hamper a girl any when she makes up her mind to catch man. of the height of something would be blind man trying se laghetti.
 ing we can't understand u
 en can be so kind to other
 nd so cruel to husbands.
 I'd to make a woman under
 the more she tries to hide
 he more she shows it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
Enjoyed nrontnc,, Lnre

T got word from a friend in Atlanta to be one the watchout for Montaga Love, as he was very fond of golf said J. H. Doughty, the general mana ger of the Belt Line, land so called at the Tutwiler and had the pleasure of taking him out on two occasions to the Country club links and he was sim ply delighted with the beauty of the grounds and the sporty courses. greatly enjoyed meeting him for he is an unusually interesting man. as he has traveled widely"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
Corn Iniured- By Htrh wnter

II ran down from Bell Nina on a visit to my son and his wife" said A. J Eaton. and find Birmingham full of hustle and interest. Limestone county had hard time with the flu and Huntsville suffered particularly but the condition has cleared up. The corn crop was hurt in north Alabama by the overflow of the Tennessee riv- CT as quite a lot of the bottom lands were flooded. Limestone is a prog ressive farming section and more anu more the farmers are diversifyng and putting in registered cattle"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT VISIT TO GRAND FILE
 AND OF WOMEN WAR WORKERS IN BRTTAHH

| NJ NJARLISLE, England, October 17.-Re I II gapdless of the Spanish influenza ! W which gripped some of this party of eminent newspaper men. as we ar, termed over here, we have been goini every hour and doing something ever! minute since the evening 10 days agt when the party landed at an Englisi shipping port all pale and prayerful d having landed anywhere.
 1 IL was a shivering, bedraggled party taken in tow by representatives of thu British ministry of information.
 In return for the hardships of that trip our sister ship the otranto having been wrecked in sight, with nearly 4ol gallant fellows lost, our English cousins have given to us right royal time.
 Tn London we were lunched and dined with all the formalities of old England before the war Lord Northcliffe of the London Times, and of the Daily Mail, gave us the most formal of lunches in Times Printing House square-the Times building surrounded with great piles of sand bags as protection against air raids The august toastmaster of Old England introduced with the expression My lords and gentlemen" And there were present the most noted of Great Britain's states men, authors and army and navy officers including our own Admiral Sims. We dined one evening at the Old Cheshire Cheese. We lunched with the English Speaking Union, with MT. Balfour as our host, and later in the afternoon heard Earl Grey, former minister of foreign affairs, on the league of nations.
 Unfortunately the great man is almost blind now
 We attended great boxing bout at the National Sporting club between sea- men of our battleship and men of Eng land, Australia and Canada, Admiral Sims and staff were present, and our American boys carried off several of the honors in this most clean and splendid sport Here not a cheer is permitted dur ing the rounds. Our boys-though con trary to home customs recognized the English customs and rules and acted in accordance.
 Splendid courtesies and honors the American boys are shown here, though, in the language of Admiral Sims, of the vessels patrolling overseas shipments of troops and supplies we have but three per cent. Great Britains navy, he said, is doing CT per cent of the work of trans porting and protecting our troops. But no Englishman ever mentions this
 Indeed, the Englishman, of army and of navy, is most modest He speaks of America's most splendid acts and deeds in the war, but seldom mentions his own. He feels that his back has been
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

"Austria-H Hungary loses, But if old Emperor Francis Joseph was alive l would be afraid that it would be only a little while before 1t would be stronger than ever. for he had Wonderful way of growing. stronger out of defeats.
 
 I know of no stranger career than that of Francis Joseph, who at the age of Is was made Emperor. The crown ot Austria. one of the most renowned on earth, was most difficult to wear in 1S4S when the wave of demoeracy was sweep ing over Europe to break itself against Metternich. the willy statesman who haf been the tutor of the young Emperor.
 IL had caused Emperor Ferdinand and all the imperial family, the court and the high dignitares of Austria to make an ignominious flight from Vien- na, which was in the hands of an in surgent populace bowling itself hoarse for a constitution to replace the tradi- tional Austrian autocratic government The people had tired of the Hapsburgs. but to certain exten were appeased by the abdication of the old ruler in fla vor of Francis Joseph
 haven't time now for the story of the family meeting at the provincial garri- son town of Olmutz. in Moravia, not far from the dreaded fortress of SpieIberg, where Emperor Ferdinand and his court ly retinue had pitched their tents. Or of the interesting ceremony in which the young lad took upon his shoulders the burden of elppire. or upon his faltering reply to a speech made by Polish pr. smolka. who headed a deputation from the Parliament ~hich was then sitting at Kremsier.
 The new ruler had to wait for the clouds of revolt to ron by before he dared show himself in Vienna, but the Wien nese are pleasure-lovng folk. and after wait of S6 hours tor there were no telesraphs or telephones or wireless apparatus in those days, the news reached the capital and was greeted by cries of Long live Francis Joseph l, the consti- tutional Emperori7
 Francis Joseph did not take d light crown upon his head, although he man aged to~wear it for many long years, all most making a record. He was called to rule not merely people in revolt. but people torn asunder among them selves. Remember, it was said in ISIS, just 70 years ago, that the old. decaying Austria had to die. Bear in mind that in spite of the way in which the Vien- nese received the information of his ac- cession it was several months before he set hisS foot within it. and when he did so it was silently and almost incognito. 1t had been seize dand sacked.
 Before his death it was said of him that he had never succeeded in any great undertaking since his uncle was de- throned and he took up the rulership, and yet at the end of 60 adventurous years he found himself ten times more powerful than ever before. He was con sidered the unluckiest of sovereigns, and yet one of the most successful He
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
CLASSMATES

CLASSMATES. How did this oracksman happen to be captured by the poliee?" Tt seems that he met a fellow alum nus and they started little celebration which soon got them into trouble "A fellow alumnus of what?a Tt seems they attended the same in- tramural school for nine years"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
vALuABLE CONNECTIONS.

You treat your cook as if she were a privileged character"
 As long as she is here we expect to be Well taken care of"
 Tn a culinary way?@
 Not entirely. She has brother on the police force, another brother drives 9 coal truck and her sweetheart is opr iceman.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08

lagainst the German empire will come to an end," declared Mr. Baker, "but I know this: That the war for the salvation of young American manhood has just begun and it is going to keep 'up.o
 l Jeffc1sefi county's quota for the united war work drive is stated at S250, ,000. Let's make the contributions total 50 per cent more than that sum. Of the many patriotic campaigns we have had, all have gone over the top. Not one has been more important than this of next week. Let's put it in the over-the-top class. It can be done and 1 it must be done.
 < # < Austria's archdukes may be able to strut with impunity in Switzerland. The Swiss are tolerant people until n1is- guided individual tries to interfere with their liberties
 * * j. Don't let your trifling debts make you lose sleep at night Germany has bill to pay that even staggers 9 stolid Teu- tons imagination.
 < * * There is no particular reason why re- publcans should go around looking like the cat that swallowed the canary,
 * * * The Turk is a philosopher. A cup of coffee and a few whlffs of narghile will console him for reverses met in war.
 % # < American troops who have come in con tact with the bolsheviki have had no diff ficaty in gaining all osjectives."
 sk * R The Senate loses the pulchritudinous figure of Jim Ham Lewis. Washington will be colorless without him
 H $ $ Due credit should be given to the Chi nese coolie for helping to win this war. He worked hard in France.
 # # # It is going to be long, long time be- fore sirens give warning of another air raid on London or Paris.
 as % # 1, Time will pass slowly for amateur strategists until they adjust themselves to new conditions.
 Y + # If begins to look as if there would be nc hall of fame for U-boat commanders even in Germany.
 # * E Oh, we'll We may put some military police in Berlin, just to keep the Kaiser at his prayers.
 x # # The Italians in the last hours of bat tie made the Austrians pay dearly for Caporetto.
 Rats may desert sinking ship, but the Kaiser seems determined to stay on deck
 * i; # The Serbian flag flies once more in Belgrade. It's sign of the times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08

BEGINNING THE DAY--Teacls me. 0 Lord, the difficult art of for getting myself. May I learn the blessedness of being interested in another's appearance. ira anOther's pleasure, in anOther's success. Give me the freedom and the courage which come from fighting my brothers battles rather than my own. For Christ's sake. Amen H. NJ. E,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-11-08
THE coLoNEL IN ACTION

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 We suppose the Colonel hurredly ate z keg of nails yesterday. washed thens down with jug ofzvinegar, picked hix teeth with crowbar, and then moved merrily to the polls where he proceeded to commit reprisals against Woodrow Wilson.