El Nuevo mexicano., 1918-01-03

R"t WIZ " IoE q INaf OF So
-LlncoIn State journal.
The oonvIcts' game was hn, but had
Just one grave drawback, sad, oh
very;
No one dared kill the umpire, lest
They put him back IN Solitary.
HAVE YOU amused your baby
brother, Willie, and kept him quiet
while ! was gomez" yes. ma, and he
hasn't opened his mouth since you
went away What did you do to
amuse him, Willie?" Il gave him the
mucilage bottle to uck."-Baltimore
American.
DURANGO DEMOCRAT explains it
is now in order to address every rail-
road man as Colonel
v---
THE MOST valuable features OF the
R~usso-German peace conference are
said to be the recesses. But the Trot-
sky utterances are by farAthe most en-
tertaining feature.
A DELIGHTFUL butchering was
held at the home OF MI. and Mrs.
William Hart near Big Pool. Some
fine hogs were killed, the head
butcher being Luther Bowers. A fine
dinner was seryed.-Hagerstown Mail.
v-
THE TURK commander in Palestine,
david Pasha, threatens to destroy
Djerutalem, a Galveston paper says.
do YOU understand the cause of
the girls quarrel?" Well, I'm told it
was six feet tan, with broad shoulders
and a khaki suit."-Boston Tran
script.
OFFICER-"Now, can you give any
reasons or exuse why you are con-
tinually late on %parade?" Delinquent
well, sorr, can give We any
amount OF excuses, but rayson-I'm
afraid | can't oblige ye. sorr!"-Judge.
IF YOU will excuse, the expression,
they are raising quite a stink about
Sinking Lake.
SCRAP SORTING contracts are UNI
der Investigation. Meanwhile the prob
ers seem to find that the main part of
their task is to sort out the various
bureau scraps.
"-v-
MERRY CHRISTMAS and a Happy
New Year to the Turk, who is having
the tar walloped out of him by the
British, which we are strong for it.
and we hope he chokes.
AFTER YOU, my dear Uncle Sam.
is the railroads attitude in regard to
the delicate matter Of adjusting the
wage demands of the Brotherhoods.
~v-v-
1T is announced that the Bolshe-
Wiki are to make a separate peace.
AS a matter OF fact, the Bolsh are
going to do just about what the kindly
and magnanimous German conqueror
tells them.
THAT El Paso Purity Squad needs
an injection of Pure Reason,
THE CHIEF business Of the small
rendering plant appears to have been
to render to Caesar the things that
are Caesars.
WE HAD some trouble getting the
intelligent printer man to put an Irish
lion hunter at the head of the Jew
battalion. Some combination, you must
admit.
WHEN CHARLEY was a little boy
(that was long before he dreamed Of
becoming o student in geometry, or a
star guard in basket ball) he became
'';nusiVev one day In noting how diff
ferent people had met and become fast
friends. He finally thought OF his
wi condition which suddenly en-
HANGED his curiosity and thereupon he
appealed to his papa for help: "Pa."
Eyes, Charley" Where we're you
born?" I'm the East isWhere was
Ma born?' I'm the Vest well,
where was | born?" "You, my little
boy, were born in the South. Why do
you ask?" Charley became lost in
thought for a little while and finally
concluded; Amt it funny how we
three people got together
y~-wv
THAT MAN said Sherlock Holmes.
Jr., has no daughters, and his wife
doesn't dance" How do you know
all that?" asked DR.. Watson. Have
You ever seen him before?" "Never.
/ just overheard him say that he could
see no harm in the tango or the turt
key trot-"