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The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
BY HAL POD


In one of the Richmond schools not
80 very long ago a lad OF a dozen
years was trying to recite q poem
which began, Greece. her knees bend
ed, etc." but the boy was unable to
recall what followed. Thrice he re-
peated, Greece, her knees" where
upon he forgot the rest and was com
PEELED to halt In embarrassment. Fin.
ally one of the boys in front seat
said in tone of voice plainly audible
over the room, Grease her knees
again, Johnny, and mebbe she'll CO.
Another good one is told by one OF
the Richmond school ma'ams along the
same line. In this case the poem the
lad was trying to recite started off,
HE stood beside the bier. etc" Three
or four times the boy was able to get
his man standing beside the bier, but
he forgot what he did further than
that and stopped each time trying to
recall the second line of the poem.
The fourth time he repeated. HE
stood beside the bier" one of the
young American wags toward the rear
of the room said, IF he stands beside
the beer much longer 1t will be getting
fiat"
Some stories are related to us for
the Towne Gossip in which it IS i'm
possible to repeat. names else some
body might get into trouble. One ex-
ample is the story told by Richmond
man who was in conversation with
friend
do you know" said the friend,
" my wife and her mother look a
whole lot alike?'
Whereupon the first man proceeded
to get in bad by replying, Eyes, the
resemblance is something awful"
81 want to see a nice, fat hog" said
a customer in a local butcher shop
''All right, SIR" replied the butcher
son who was tending shop for his
dad few moments, father will be
right down, sir
George. Porgie, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
If it happened to be Richmond girls
they were probably crying for more
If you should ever come home and
find your wife making love with one
of the bcarders, don't raise howl, Mr.
Richmond man. Remember, you were
boarder once yourself
Howard Horton had gang of labor
ers out digging post holes last week
and asked one of the men foolish ques.
ton No. 4,654,233 What are you do
ing" the farmer wanted to know,
digging out the holes?"
mo, we amt digging out the holes,
the laborer replied. Were digging
out the dirt and leaving the holes in
the ground"
This happened in the City res
taurant.
"Wen. what have you got to eat?'
asked the hungry customer.
"Everything' replied the waiter.
"All right, bring me in an order OF
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
1t Pays to Advertise
From the Wall Street Journal Straws


DVERTISING has elevated many infant industries
n at expense of old established industries. Those
a who do not read the handwriting the wall must
fall by the waysde When the automobile industry start
ed thought of wire wheels and there
in advertising wooden wheels. The wire-wheel
opportunity and covered the field with advertising
Now the woodenwheel have to resort to advertis
ing get back their lost business Coffee is drink of
the ages and it contended it required advertis-
ing But drinks the market substitutes
coffee and the coffee distributors backed by
Brazilian coffee growers going to spend million ad-
vertsing the fine points of coffee When bicycles
in vogue there popular speedometer use which
controlled the field. The manufacturers did adver
se and their real opportunity to newcomers who
made millions automobile speedometers. Automobile
magnetos used the world for ignition ago
but the battery along with battery ignition sys-
TENS and advertising campaigns and swept the magnetic
off it's pedestal When the recent sugar shortage
the largest distributor of refined launch
ed big advertising campaign. 1t had sugar to sell
butt wanted to keep its prestige That is the modern
method. and it pays.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
D N N E Z
STOR EG

There was no room telephone in
the hotel chamber which he nighted
for a single night. But there was a
pushbell with a card over it that said:
ring once for ice water; twice for a
bell boy; three times for chamber
maid; four times for porter"
He desired ice water. and tried to
make his wants known. After a half
hour porter presented himself and
looked around for baggage.
''Ice water" the man said, severely.
"The card says to ring once for
"Yassuh," acknowledged the porter.
But we all couldn't figgeh out
whethah you rang once TO- times or
TO- times once
The story of the "nice-old-lady" Wis
ftor to London hospital who asked
too many questions was told to the
Gyro club banqueters by Lieut.. McIn-
tyre, Canadian veteran.
"She had exhausted my informa-
tion," the lieutenant said. "The next
chap she encountered was a member
of the Royal Flyers.
"'Oh, I'm SO pleased she said, to
meet flying man. Do tell me what
you do when you run out of gasoline
way up there in the air.
Madam the flyer told her, we
have no choice but to wait for some
one to come to our assistance.
"'Do you know he added with
growing solemnity, there are thous-
ands, literally thousands, madame,
caught up there without gasoline who
starve to death for lack of assist
ance.'"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
The Cost of Illness

In computing the cost Of illness, the bills paid
for medical attention and drugs are only one
small item of the expenditure. Seldom is the
social cost Of the illness taken into considera-
ton Neither does the individual multiply his
case by thousands Of other cases when he counts
the cost.
It has been computed that there are always
5000, 900 sick persons in the United States of
whom 100000 are in the working period of life.
Fisher in his report on the conservation of ma
tonal vitality estimates that three-quarters are
earning an average Of $500 year, so that the
loss through sickness would amount to $780,
100000. He odds to this another $50o.OOO,Oo0
as expenses for medicines, medical attention,
special foods etc. bringing the total cost to about
$1,O00.000,000.
In the light of the health lectures delivered
here last week by DR.. c. A. Barker, the follow
ing summary of Fishers report printed in Chi
cago newspaper last Sunday, will be of special
interest:
"One-half of this loss is preventabe. The
preventable loss from death is estimated at ST.
OOO 900, which, added to the estimated pre-
ventable loss from illness, $5OO,O00000, gives one
and one-half billions as the preventable loss from
disease and oeath in this country. These fig
ures are estimates-conj ectures-and yet they
probably are not far from the facts.
"A recent survey of the sickness in North
Carolina was chosen because it included rural as
well as urban communities, and gave an oppor-
tunity to compare sickness in the white race with
that in the negro. Fourteen thousand one hun
dred and twelve families were canvassed, con-
tanning 66,OO7 persons, 43468 white and 22.539
colored, comprising about 2.5 percent of the to-
tai population of the state. There were 1881
cases of illness found, or 28.5 per thousand in
dicating that about 3 percent of the population
are constantly sick, and that in S0.4 percent Of
those sick the illness is serious enough to render
them unable to work.
This is slightly higher than the morbidity
rate found in Rochester, N. Y. 1t is also higher
than that reported by Billings in the eleven GEN.
sus report for group of twelve northwestern
and southern states but in considering the diff
ferent geographic areas covered and the changes
that have occurred since $780, the two estimates
correspond closely.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
Forget Your
Rheumatism
Not Necessary to Have Your Troubles
With You Any Longer

Don't suffer when you can get "Neu-
trone Prescription 49,"
Rheumatism, one of the most com.
mon ailments, is one Of the hardest to
cure. because of its being blood dis
ease. Any remedy to be effective
must purify the blood and kidneys,
common sense teaches you this.
That is why "Neutrone Prescrip.
ton 80" is SO successful, it is com.
bination of blood purifying agents pre-
pared from the prescription Of a
specialist.
1t relieves those sore, infiamed
joints and muscles. st puts out the
fire." 1t does all these things, re-
stores your health. makes you happy,
and free from pain
Go to your druggist today and get
soc or 800 bottle, then say good.
bye Rheumatism Mail orders filed
on s1.00 size. Conkey Drug company
and leading druggists everywhere
Adv.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
Village Gives Lest Man
of Draft Age to Colors
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. N. Y,

HASTINGS -ON-HUDSON. N. Y,
April 23.--The village of Hastings has
no more men to give to the colors.
Neighboring villages, in bidding
goodbye to their quota of drafted men
today, noticed the absence of recruits
from Hastings, and questions brought
forth the reply that there were no
more men to give because every man
of draft age had already volunteered.
Even those who would have been
taken in the June call have gone away.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
CUT THIS OUTFIT IS WORTH
MONEY

DON'T MISS THIS. Cut out thi-
slip, enclose with SC and mail r. to
Foley & Co, 1885 Sheffield Ave. Cni-
.cago, ILL.,. writing your name and ad
dress clearly. You will receive In re-
t;,rn a trial package containing Fol-
avs Honey and Tar Compound, for
coughs. colds and Group; Foley Kid
new Pills, for pain in sides and back:
rheumatism, backache, kidney and
bladder ailments; and Foley Cathartic
Tablets, wholesome and thoroughly
CLEANSING cathartic, for conStipa ton,
.biIiousness headache and sluggish
bowels. For sale by A. @. Luken &
Co.--Adv.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
Masonic Calendar

Tuesday, April 23-Richmond lodge
No. 1876, F. & A. M. Called meeting,
work in Master Mason degree.
Wednesday, April 24-Webb lodge
No. "a, F. & A. M. Called meeting,
work in Entered Apprentice degree;
commencing at 4 o'clock. Luncheon
$50.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

it," came back the sarcastic customer.
Hash for one" the waiter called
back to the kitchen.
There will no doubt be a whole lot
of changes when this war is over.
For one thing about Is or 20 secre-
taries IF war In Richmond will be out
of job.
"Why don't you write more high
brow stuff in that Towne Gossip of
yours?" correspondent wants to
know. And we might ask of our cor
respondent, why doesn't a chicken
learn how to swim?"
/ wish had an acceptance,
I'd fly right DER Berlin.
I'd like to drop bomb or two
Right on the kaiser's bean.
Of If l only had gun
I'd take the train, l think,
And get off when it hit Berlin
And shoot this kaiser gink.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
SUIT new BUT
HOLE IN SHOE
Bad Teeth Like Bad Shoes
Spoil Fine Dress and
Good Looks
PEOPLE NEGLIGENT
IN CARE OF MOUTH
Senreco Tooth Paste Power
full To Save the Teeth and
Prevent Diseases

IAN dressed up with hole in his
SHOE was a bit of sarcasm a girl
flung at a young man friend whose en-
tire outfit was new except his pune
tured shoes. Right enough, too
Either to man or woman a shabby pair
of shoes would spoil the appearance
OF the most elegant garments evsE
worn.
What about the teeth? Dress in all
the finery you please, II you open your
mouth exposing a decayed set Of teeth
your attractiveness ends right there.
That's hole in the shoe for you.
This applies both to men and women.
Girls. and young men, you lose half
the admiration which would be direct
ed toward you If you have bad teeth.
You can't be pleasing with a
mouthful Of decay. You can't
b healthy either. The condition
fiuence on other organs of the body.
Bad teeth affect the intestines. stom-
ach, heart, and even the eyes. Medi-
cal science shows that bad teeth pro-
body. 4
With senreco Tooth Paste at your
service-a scientifically prepared pre-.
need OF having a mouthful OF decayed
teeth. Used regularly on a set Of
good teeth the deadly germs have little
chance to enter. II they should enter
they can't exist long under Its thor
Ough cleansing properties. AS q
cleanser and preventive OF disease
OF the teeth 1t Is positively reliable.
Advanced cases should be treated by
your dentist.
Use Senreco Tooth Paste as pre-
ventative. Ask your dentist II you
should not pay all attention to your
teeth. OF course we won't say our
Tooth Paste will cure Pyorrhea. II
you already have it, your dentist
is the doctor Even If you are
afflicted with his terrible disease Sen
reco Tooth Paste will help you to get
rid OF it, with your dentists assist
ance. But we don't want you to con-
tract any ailn1ent Of the mouth and
teeth, nor does your dental doctor
A preventive is far better than to
have to go through the trials OF cure
Save your teeth by Senreco Tooth
Paste and the probability is that you
won't have to deal with foul and pain
full diseases. By taking excellent care
OF your teeth you may save stomach,
intestinal. heart and eye troubles.
Take all precaution to keep the teeth
clean and do 1t with Senreco Tooth
Paste. the latest discovery Of dental
science. Sample OF Senreco free II you
wish It. Senreco Tooth Paste, Cincin-
natl. Ohio.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
THOSE UPPERS.

Oh, McAdoo, please have heart,
The war is bad enough.
Please do not, at the very start,
Make it so awful rough.
You tell us now that we must sleep
In uppers on the train.
The order grieves us fat folks deep
In fact. gives us pain.
You saw that we must sleep in them
But this do not forget:
It's quite mpossible-ahem!
No one has done it yet.
Well lie in them and hang on tight
Through every weary mile,
And curse our fate throughout the
night.
But sleep? You make us smile.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

over their signatures saying that
when they called on the Rev. Charles
Moore, pastor of the Friends church
here to solicit him to purchase a Lib
erty loan bond he not only refused to
invest, but said he would not make a
purchase of that kind if he had the
money.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
FARM BRINGS $4,000

EATON, O., April 23.-Charles E.
Singer has sold to Art and Ethel Bier
ly farm OF SO97 acres in Monroe
township for a consideration of $13,-
200, according to records of the county
recorders office.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
MISS kEsELRINc BURIED

EATON, O.. April 23.-Funeral ser
vices for Miss Sarah Keselring, past
10, who died Saturday at her home
near Lewisburg, were held Monday af-
ternoon at Lewisburg. Burial was at
New Lexington, Preble county.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
Osn@e6pUr;
aMeN1O16Qnt
THE KAiSER
He can lick the lousy Russians,

He can lick the lousy Russians,
An the Bolsheyih cranks.
But he cannot lick the English,
And the Frenchmen,
And the Yanks.
Wonder what excuse the kaiser will
frame up to tell his wife when he goes
home this time after his jag in France.
We have a friend who went and
bought a 25-cent thrift stamp the
other day, andsfver since he bought
it you would think this was his own
personal war.
Observe in a Pennsylvania paper
that a certain gentleman there went
to bed feeling well and woke up dead.
That's what's going to happen to
few boches along the American front
before long.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

A fund of 100000 is needed to
build garden village to shelter Bel
gian widows and orphans near Ant
werp. 1t will be raised in this country
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
BUYS SCHOOL PROPERTY

EATON, O., April 23.-Julius Wa.
tiers has purchased from the board Of
education of Monroe township school
property, including one acre OF land,
for $1,000. according to records OF the
county recorders office.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

The best sponges come from the
Levant, in the eastern Mediterranean,
and are obtained by diving.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

QUAKER PASTOR CRITICIZED
NOBLESVILLE. April pa local
committee of business men published
a card in local paper last evening
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
DOCTOR ARRESTED, STEALING

HAMMOND. April 23.-Dr. Charles
l.. Davis, a dentist here. was arrest
ed yesterday. charged with stealing
coal from the Indiana Harbor Belt
railway yards. He was arrested by a
special agent of the railroad and is
said to have had wheelbarrow in
the yards. DR.. Davis is candidate
for county coroner. He helped Or
ganize the Reform party here.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23
Hoosier Happenings
GERMAN PAPER UNDER FIRE

EVANSVILLE, April %. - The
Evansville Democrat, which is print
ed in German, is under fire. Extracts
from an advertisement in the paper
read: "The best friend of Deutsch-
tum German patriotism) is the Ger
man newspaper. Every German-Amer-
lean should appreciate clearly at the
present. time how important it is to
support the German newspaper"
Extracts from another advertise
ment read: "You ought to read the
Evansville Democrat because you are
of German descent" and 1.-The Evans
Vile Democrat unswervingly and en-
ergetically takes the stand for 'Deu-
tschtum' and it's holy rights
The County Council of Defense is
investigating.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-23

This happened in the City res
taurant.
"Well. what have you got to eat?'
asked the hungry customer.
Everything" replied the waiter.
"All right, bring me in an order of
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
Flagstaff Normal Teachers Or.
 dered Dismissed.

Flagstaff, March 15-Ata meet ing of the board of education at the Northern Arizona normal school, held in Flagstaff, Satur- day, March 9, to consider the em- ploymet of teachers for next year it was voted that Dr. R. H. H. Blome, president; Edward F. Honn, assistant principal, and o. D. Thorpe, head of the English department, be not considered for unemployment.
 That such action was taken was the information given Dr. Blome this morning by E. T. McCOnigle, secretary of the board of educa- tion.
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
IN SAD SITUATION.

When at NOgales recently Judge A.G. McAllister informed a friend who repeated the sad story to The Oasis. that the families of the Chree Graham county officers, killed by John and Tom Powers and Tom Sisson, are in straight ened circumstances, and that moreover they are very large and the small children are numerous.
 Judge McAllister stated that Sheriff R. G. Mcbride left a wid- ow and seven children, with an other expected shortly; Under sheriff Kempton left a widow and seven children; while Deputy Sheriff Kane Wooten left a widow with four children and another expected.
 The count is eighteen helpless children made fatherless by the murderers.
 Neither Mcbride or Wooton left any means or property, but Kempton's widow has about 40 acres of land.
 All three families are in need of assistance, and it is said that an effort will be made to have Governor Hunt include in his call for a special session of the legis- lature a provision to pass relief act. Oasis, Nogales.
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
Happily Married.
-O.0-

Tuesday, March 19, at 2 p. m. Miss Elda Whiting, daughter of MT. and Mrs. Edwin M. Whiting, and Albert Brown, songof MT. and Mrs. J. w. Brown. were happily married at the home of the bride insthis city. President David K. Udall officiated in tying the Cor diansknot.
 The bride was dressed in a very beautiful white silk dress, while the groom wore the conventional black.
 After the ceremony the guest and there were 56 of them sat down to a grand feast consist ing of every good thing to eat. No doubt they forgot to Hoover ize.
 In the evening their numerous young friends gathered around the Whiting home and gave them a shivaree long to be remembered.
 Mir. and Mrs. Brown will leave for Salt Lake city about April 1st and will spend their honeymoon visiting relatives and friends in Utah towns.
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
APACHE COUNTS
SOLDIERS,

There is a place in California On the Pacific shore, Winch holds some priceless treas
 ures,
 Probably fifty or more; They are Apache County's soldiers Raised in a sun-kissed land, And against the German kaiser, Have gone to take their stand. They are boys of mighty courage And we pray they will not fall, For they are thought of daily And are loved by one and all. May God be with these soldiers To guide them on their way, And keep them all in safety As he watches day by day. Boys, our hearts are with you, For God is on our side And may you prove true and
 faithful,
 For you are Apache County's
 pride.
 Jas. Shreeve.
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
Bad Taste in Your Mouth

When you have a bad taste in your mouth you may know that your digestion is faulty. A dose of Chamherlain's Tablets will us- ually correct the disorder. They also cause a gentle movement of the bowels. You will find this to be one of the best medicines you have ever become acQainted with. Adv
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
CALL FOR BIDS.

The Board of Supervisors of Apache county will receive sealed bids for the furnishing and ha6 Ing of window blindSdiam1 court house, aptM
 number. Dimensions 'Ura are on file with the undersighs and may be seen at any time. Bids will be received up until 10 a. m. Monday, April 1st, 1918. The board reserves the right to reject any or all bids. Board of Supervisors, Apache Go.
 By Levi s. Udall, Clerk.
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21
STATE OF ARIZONA Executive Department
A PROCLAIM ION

The greatest duty of our coun- try today is the feeding of the armies and the other people of the Allied Nations. If we fail in this, the sending of an Army to the battlefields of France would be worse than useless. And since in our struggle forfreedom of the world we will brook no thoughts of failure we must devise the most effective and most efficient in every branch of endeavor.
 Responsive to the call there is an acreage of crops now planted in our country unprecedented in our history. But on the other hand thousands upon thousands of men have left the fields and the cities and gone to the framing camps and the battlefelds. To fill these gaps and take care of the additional farm work is the problem of the problems of those left behind.
 Last year at the beginning of our great struggle, Arizona, 1 am proud to say, was one of the States to take the lead in facing this question. One of the solu- tions was to have the boys from sixteen to twenty y-one go into the fields, and the results achieved far exceeded expectations. Farm CTS and ranchers who were dubi- ous at the thought of irresponsi- ble youth are now clamoring for the boys, and are unhesitant in their assertions that the Doys al most double the efficiently of the imported foreign labor.
 The Secretary of Labor, with the approval of the President of the United States, is sponsor for the United States Boys Working Reserve.
 NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEO. w. P. HUNT, Governor of Ari- zona, do hereby proclaim for this State, in accordance with the Ma tional program, the week of Mar. 18th as Enrolment Week for the United States Boys Working Re serve, and urge every boy be- tween the ages of sixteen and twenty-one, physically able to work, to enroll under such regu- lations as may be made by MT. Lindley B. Orme, of Phoenix, Arizona, Director of the Reserve for this State. To the parents 1 would say that there is no inten-
The St. Johns herald., 1918-03-21

More than S11, ,OOO, ,OOO, 900 of war-risk insurance has so far been written, covering over 1,500, 900 persons in the military and naval services. The average amount of insurance applied for is nearly $9,000. The maximum permitted is $1O,000, and the minimum $1, 900.