The Washington herald., 1918-06-05
All Brutes AREN'T Fourfooted.


There is a dog in Washington that
is very much ashamed of its owner.
1t was tied up in the home of
Joe Bell. its owner. The man and
the dog were alone in the house.
That evening the neighbors be,
came alarmed at the noise coming
Policeman Trail.
Trail trailed himself around to in
vestigate. He stood by the win
dow and listened.
Then he opened the door and
went in. And instead of seeing
someone getting killed. Trail saw
the poor dog in the corner and Joe
few feet away. cussing at the dog
as hard as he could.
why take spite out on a dumb
animal?" asked Trail.
Joe said nothing. The dog look
ed appealingly at the policeman as
| II to say. Il can't help the fact
that Joe is my owner. He doesn't
know any better"
No man, unless he was no
better than a canine. would have
used the streak of cuss words that
Joe used. Not even to a dog.
OF course. Joe had a little liquor
in him. something the dog was
never guilty of.
The animal may have been a
, NANCY mogrel. Dameless and half
starved, but it never got drunk and
lost it's self-respect.
The court was very disgusted with
Joe. But it couldn't fine him any
more than s1o-or thirty days.
Mary slipped Up.
Monday night a man entered Mary
Johnson's home in Congress Court.
But before we go any further.
don't confuse Congress Court with
the House once Building. They
are two different places.
The man sat down. How about
bottle of liquor tonight, Mary" he
asked.
"Ain't got no liquor" said Mary
as she sat down. (StalD.
WELL the man said, II have a
dollar and I am awful dry. can't you
help a fellow out tonight?'
Didn't you heah me say All has
no booze?" answered Mary as she
took the dollar and went upstairs.
A minute later she came down
stairs with a half pint. She gave
it to the man. Then she spit on the
dollar for luck.
Now sab. you kin see 70 yore-
self dat All didn't hab no booze"
said Mary as she tucked the dollar
in her stocking.
The man went out. putting the
whiskey in his hip pocket.
A minute later Policemen Little
and Delamico came in. They ar
rested Mary for selling booze.
| OF course the man was only
decoy. He had given Mary a marked
dollar and she had it yet.
! In spite of Mary's protest that
someone put up a job on her. the
court gave her ninety days and
fined her $500 besides.
Seeing Things.
| Charlie Colbert had the d. T's Mon
day night and came home to escape
the geological park that was following
him around.
He laid himself across the bed and
tried to sleep. But a lavender colored
monkey with a German helmet on his
head bothered him so that he lust
had to get up.
He rushed outdoors. His wife was
only a few feet away.
To escape the monkey he almost ran
into her. His wife's brother was there
and he misunderstood Charles move
ment.
So he and Charlie grappled. The
brother thought sure that Charlie
meant to harm the girl.
Emma, the wife, tried to quiet the
man. but It was Of no use,
Her brother had to pin her bus-
bands arms behind him In order to
keep him quiet.
Policeman Broderick saw the pair
as they clinched and wallowed around.
He ran up. separated them and as
soon as he saw Charles condition.
he arrested him.
But Charlie declares that his brother
iD-law threw him out of the house
and he was only trying to get loose
from him when Broderick showed I'D
But how does a man with the de-
lirium tremens know who is after
him? Charlie didn't know a thing
about what happened, he only thought
he did.
The court fined him S1e-an ODD
figure, but nevertheless more than
Charlie had
George Got Sore.
Scuse me. Jawse.- said Enc
Rowe the other evening as she met
Gs0rEs Asrriman. ..Ah thQnsht "