davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
By Natalie McCloskcy

PROFESSIONAL honor is being
knocked from under the crook
these days with surprising IA
pidity. To be accosted by mere pro-
baton officer or other state official and
asked whether ones particular job
gould be classed as productive labor"
oe whether one really has job at all
we'll, it's CALLING to the pride of first
class gunman or deft dice roller.
Irdeed, things have come to a pretty
pass when the gentlemen Of the demi-
monde, together with the lounge lizards
and silk-socked sons of fathers indus
try are to be forced into contact with
the class VINO earn their living by toll
actual work. Br-r-r-r! The Colonel's
Lady has no more fastidious disdain
for the honest labor of Mrs. O'Grady
than has the professional Stacker for
The man who engages in recognized
occupation. But now comes a law
which says "work or fight.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21

with the receipt signed by the United
States Employment Bureau, attempted
to prove thereby that they had fulfilled
the requirements of the law One
weary waster accepted the uitimatum
of work or go to Jail with CAV, Jail
amt so bad. You've got a sunshade
over you, at least"
Jimmy Smith, who had been trying
for two weeks to get job and had
come to know the very real pangs Of
actual hunger, turned down an oppor-
tunity to go TO New Jersey at s4.5O a
day with positive "No, tanks, mister.
/ wouldn't leave little old New York
for the best job in the world" and no
promise Of advancement, no dramatic
presentation of the benefits of outs
town air, good food and steady employ
ment could lure hungry Jimmy from
New York and the reach of the law.
Nor were all who applied at the en-
ployment bureau actual loafers. Men
of forty and fifty, whose mode Of liv-
ing had left its marks upon them and
gwen them an appearance of greater
@ge, sought work of any kind, but we're
TOO unskilled for mechanical positions
and too incapacitated physically for
any arduous labor.
One individual, who looked like Poe
reincarnatcd, pulled down his frock-
coat, settled his tall hat more firm,v
and strobe up to the Representative, of
the du Pont powder people. Mott IN
advertcntly he stood directly vnder a
placard that begged all to remember
the country was at war and to regard
all suspicious characters as aliens
This man was without doubt suspicious.
else why the Poc-ish makeup? Also
why keep ones right hand thrust un-
der ones coat, unless it concealed
something that could not bear the
light?
The situation was serious. If con-
cealed weapon, who was about to be
shot? If bomb, was it lighted. how
coon would it go off and how could
such disaster as must surely result be
averted? ? Just at that moment the man
pulled his hand from under his coat
and thrust beneath the du Pont repre-
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21

that he took mothers dog out for an
airing twice a day.
"And you arc how old ?" the examiner
asked, sure that he had made a mis-
take.
"Twenty
(We can't print the examiners re-
ply, due to the censor)
When asked If he considered that a
job, Percival said: "Sure! If didn't
do it ma'am would have to get some
one else"
This type of man was not uncommon.
If it wasn't mommer's dog that must
be aired, then dads suit had to be
taken to the tailors three times
week and dad couldn't do it himself.
for he was very busy man and had
to be at the Office all day from 10:30
until 3 or 4 o'clock.
Some tried sending letters of appli-
cation by registered mail, and armed
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
1t Is a Great
Socializing Force

Aside from the healthful effect of
the new employment plan, it is a
great socializing force. The man from
the Bowery joint hoists beams and
loads freight with the man from the
Riverside palace, and between many a
row of potatoes or hill of corn the
same sun shines down upon the man
who took the tip and the man who gave
it. And in the shade of many
gnarled old apple tree the groups
swapping yarns and drinking ginger
pop in the noon hour would furnish
delight to those who hope to see the
world made safe for democracy.
On the high roads of our suburbs
the man who sits behind the wheel
of his Rolls Royce and thinks he was
SO "darned clevah" to take vacation
in the next state and so avoid the
consequences of law is going to have
jolly little party next fall when he
comes back to dear old New York. 1t
WIN be about as safe for him to
tramp the gay White Way as it would
be for Fatty Arbuckle to walk on thin
ice. He'll get Job for duration"
that will successfully obliterate all
Stacker tendencies he may once have
nurtured. For the law is busy and
It's going to get all Ioafcrs whether
they watch out or not.
In poolroom on Park Avenue one
DAY last week six ex-burglars were Civ
ing their undivided attention to cue
and chalk when Assistant District At
torney Smith opened the door and in
considerably interrupted the game.
NO" there's something about a District
Attorney that makes it impossible for
him to camoufage himself, and the six
burglars looked at Smith and felt de-
cldedly out of element. Smith looked
at the burglars, and there was a. mu-
'ually telepathic concession that things
were not exactly CONNIE il faut.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21

place. I cawn't do heavy work" Look
ing at his six feet of tailored mascu-
Unity, one suddenly wished he had the
placing of the man.
100000, you can't do heavy work I?
Want to go out of town on a farm ?"
solicitated the examiner, and, after a
pathetic "Oh, deah, not" heartlessly
sent fathers son to apply for posi-
ton" as ticket agent with one of our
popular vaudeville houses.
And SO they came-and went. Ex-
actors and whilom walters applied for
something eight and easy" One son
of ease insisted that he had heart
murmur, and when it was kindly sug.
gested that exercise was helpful for that
particular Walady he replied that he
had tried dancing every afternoon and
evening and had derived no benefit.
Pcrcival Somebody, or maybe it was
Clarence, insisted that he had Job
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
Change Whole
Scheme Of Things

Indeed. the Whitman proclamation
may revolutionize the entire scheme Of
things. With ball players forced into
production and the game no longer
Dulletined, therefore, on newsboards-
with criminal arrests soon non-occur-
rent-there will cease to be the diver
sion of a street crowd and resultant
mob enthusiasm. True, people will
stlll continue to get in the way Of
passing traffic and give the insurance
collectors something on which to base
their argument. but the poor wretch
who gets run over or is prostrsted hy
the heat will have to get along without
an audience.
With all the men at work. and tbs
women too well bred TO collect around
the victim, the cub reporter is going
to be hard put to get an interesting
story.
Maybe the Legislature didn't actual
ly consider any of these things when it
passed that law. Doubtless the chief
motive was to turn some of the wasted
energy and humanity that lived by
others labor into industry and pro-
ductive channels without any particu-
lar consideration of the effect 1t woulo
have on the criminal.
But whatever the motive, the resui'
is plain, and the novelist who aiwsy,
had his Sunbonnet Sue come to New
York to go wrong will have to nun.
around for another city. After ne nss
solved that little difficulty he mlga'
suggest some war use to which the spp.
cellars of sin could be converted, slh's
with every one busy there isn't gOins
10 be any time fer shining.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21

man, you wouldn't lock US II, =.
we're doing the first lick of work 49,. .,ss
ever done in our lives wop,d ~.
And if you think sweatin' on ~
docks ain't real work, try it for 49,, In
Ny God!'---- And his sent;u...,
came inarticulate. W.
Smith grinned and lowed
they were certainly exempt, and b.sr
been bromidically inclined donnie. 4e
would have added that they were .r.
doing their Bit"
There are some, indeed, corra,,.s,
the idlere' law who seek war iob.. -.
from any latent desire to render actr.,
service than from hope Of ye,,irs
into a "soft snap" Naturally tn. p.s
Cross and the Y. NJ. C. A. receiv. +,.,-
share Of such applications, not onlv g..
work here, but even for overseas D.
ticularly is this true in the case NJ ~.
bred to ease and inactivity. Roth
branches of service weed their ami;
cants carefully, selecting only the mo,.
it-mentally as well as physically
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
ATE LOAFER LAW CLEANS OUT INDUSTRIOUS CROOK
Threat of Search Into How Men Earn Their Living Drives Twilight
Workers Into Light of Day and More Lawful
Jobs Else Out of City

will write book on GLOW I Lived on
Nothing Year; or, My Commission as
a Land Agent" Attorney Smith par
ticularly would like to know how one
man, arrested as an idler and protest.
ing that he had perfectly good job
as salesman for a prominent jeweller,
lived on his earnings. Investigation
showed that the man sold on commits
sion entirely, and in the last two
months his profits had been So.
In these days, when taxes threaten
to outweigh cur incomes, the man who
can breeze along on two bones, wear
silk shirts, eat at the Claridge and ride
in a taxi is just about our idea Of a
practical economist. He ought to be
in the planning department, for there
is in him the stuff that efficiency ex-
perts grow from. His ingenuity is
oqualled only by the man who rakes
out his riding breeches, puttees and an
old Norfolk coat, registers as a chauf
feur and drives his car down the ave.
nue-a man with q job.
But not for the present, however, for
by no means all of the male parasites
have escaped. According to Assistant
District Attorney Smith, some few have
suddenly opened real estate Offices or
become insurance or jewelry statesmen.
But many have been captured and are
doing their bit, under new form of
sentence. Those who did not save
their skins by hustling to run down a
legitimate job are being rounded from
their lamppost leanlngs and street cor
ner rendezvous and personally conduct
ed by probation officer to the employ
ment desk of the Mayors Committee
on National Defence or to the head
quarters of the United States Employ
ment Bureau, at % East Twenty-second
Street.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
One Is a
I ennis Expert

Nevertheless, it sometimes hann.,.
that one Of these lawn tennis exn.rs
slips through and experiences cover
there" the actualities Of war--ths
doubtful JOY of soft mud and water
waist high. the friendly compan;onsb,,
Of cootie-even several eooties-.bs
need for brisk action and sure thouobt
in the danger of battle-not only tbs
sort of life that will get him beauti.
fully mussed up, calloused and season.
ably hardened, but will give him a tas.s
of the thrill that comes with a hard
job we'll done and service rendered n
some poor cuss who needed help on,
there, where there is no class distnc.
ton, where many a man stands at ,..
tention to his valet.
Those whom the above Organization.
turn down seek other means of easy
livelihood, and after an apprenticeship
in collecting cash from dad turn IN sba
street railways and gather nickels from
dads friends. Association may HELM
Willie to "step lively himself, and
regular hours of work may become a
fixed habit with him. With some Of
the veneer rubbed off by contact with
the human nature-amiable and other.
wlse-that crowds into streetcar
Willie may even be of some real use
after the war is over. At all events. be
ILLS a gap now and is out from unde.
the feet of those who hustle to legiti.
mate jobs each day.
He's just one of those cleaned TN By
the Whitman law. Somebody said
while ago that woman's day was cer.
ing. 1t rather looks as though it mght
actually be here. With all these loaf.
ers rounded up there wont be snr.
thing but fluff and feathers in an after.
noon movie audience, and women are
last going to have an opportunity IA
enjoy the benches that enhance tA.
pleasure Of our public parks.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
Some Very Delicate Occupations Like M;nd;,.
Mothers Dog and Caring for Father.
Clothes Are Disclosed

sentative's nose q worn leather wallet.
swallowed, and breathed again.
The wallet contained seven envel-
opes, each supposed to contain for
mula for a high explosive, which the
owner of the frockcoat and high hat
had painstakingly discovered and which
ne attempted to explain to the du Pont
man would surely result in wirhlng the
war for the Allies. Could this new
Nobel, therefore, act as expert aIviser
to the du Pont concern?
Evidently he couldn't, for I next saw
him applying for a job in the line OF
hotel employees, preceded by man who
wanted q job where ha'd get square
meal and followed by one who wanted
{, work as a dishwasher-or anything
else where there was lot Of noise
a peculiar demand that reused the ex-
aminer's curiosity.
"Well, you see," the man replied, II
have fiat feet, and the last place l
worked they fired me because / made
so much noise when | walked around.
If work where there's clatter no one
can hear mel" It was suggested that
he try rubber heels, but the suggestion
came late. They had proved injurious
to his spine.
Nor are misplaced vertebre and
fallen arches the only malignant dis
placements which render a would-be
loafer unfit for serious labor. Chronic
rheumatism, manifest in almost total
paralysis of important working limbs,
makes it quite impossible for many
to do more than totter up to the en-
ployment bureau and register for
work.
The percentage of men who have
suddenly discovered a tendency to-
tuberculosis since July l is appalling.
Such men are given every considera-
ton by the examining board Of the
employment bureau, and in view of
the fact that inside work would be
injurious, every effort IS made to send
them to farms and to the docks, where
a week of fresh air and strenuous
labor works astounding cures.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
Behind the Poet
Came a Man

Behind the poet came man
groomed for an afternoon tea and OBJ
viously aggrieved because of his lost
ling competitors and their vulgar
eagerness TO get job, who walked up
to the examiner and greeted his brisk
"Former employment? with q polite
very polite-"Beg pawdon?" About 10
blush at what l felt must be an awl
ward mistake on the part of the ex-
amlner, heard that brusquc person
snap, "What was your last job?"
"1've been working for fawther," re-
Piled Mr. Social Register. land now |
want something in light and air;
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21


family. 1t would be perfectly simple
sort of jolly lark. you know--for a
French ace to set out some quiet little
night and fly over to Berlin. Perfectly
feasible-people right here on this side
are flying twice as far every little
while, just for stunt. He could try
a few dips and circles over the royal
palace dropping bombs. Why we are
spending so much time and money and
men when the war could be ended by
such simple little device, is beyond
their comprehension.
Now, it's shame not to use such
genius as this. Why not give them a
uniform and a pair of spurs and put
them behind a desk in Washington :?
Give 'em chance. Give 'em a good
chdnce-and then put 'em to work max
ing gas bombs.
Line Resembles
Ziegfeld Follies
Other suggestions for tasks suited
to the erstwhile idlcr may be
had upon application at the en-
ployment headquarters, which rather
resembles these days Ziegfeld Follies
oltice. A retinue of policemen
keep order in the line that stretches
to Madison Avenue, and inside the
building crowds of men flood all dav
long the desks where examiners as],
most personal questions about previous
mode of living and means of occuna.
tlon, lineal dependents and present
capabilities. Rallied off, according as
man seeks work as carpenter. laborer
MOTEL employe, clerical man, mechanic.
electrician, farmland or what-not. he
stancs around from one to eight hours.
and thereby performs, perhaps, the
most arduous task he's ever run I'm
against.
The close-shaved head of the man
Just out' lined up with the pompadour
OF the man from Rector's. and hero
ana there one could see art dejectedlv
waiting around, with hollow eyes and
waistcoat.
In all ages and by all nations has
the poet been misunderstood. and
there was never more pathetic OBJ
Ject of gross misunderstanding than
the lmagist who had been sent to
look for work. Perhaps he would
have made himself clearer had he
stuck to straight prose and not at
tempted to make himself sound like
the Song of Songs.
Somebody suggested that what he
neeoed most was good feed. But, no!
lie lived on art, by art, and with art.
and the thought of consorting with the
mundane and material was oyerwhelm~
ing. He was. in fact, a problem. The
village painter could be used in sundry
ways. The ex- x-outfielder or pitcher. bv
virtue of developed Drawn, would be- a
handy man around the yards or docks.
But the poet, even after haircut, some
how failed to advertise himself. The
examiner scratched his head and in
terposed a few cryptic questions that
elected little satisfaction. A farm.
when translated into fields of waving
grain and the fair progeny of Ceres's
fruitful art. was one thing, and quite
IN a poets line; but when it came to
actual work among the weeds and
roots and rutted burrows of Natures
actuallties the amber sun and mus
GUAR activities incumbent upon
farmers helper proved too strenuous. ,
Skilled IN poetic license, he was of lit
tie use on the clerical staff of man
particular about the accuracy of his
accounts, etc. There really seemed
little left except the publicity depart
ment of the Y. M. c. A., unless the
Salvation Army could use him behind
coffee urn.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
An inclination
And a Commandment

But fighting was out of the question.
No fastidious man would go out and
deliberately xiii another one, even
though he had done some Of the horrid
things imputed to those Germans. Be-
sides, wasn't there something in the
Ten Commandments about that? Not
that your loafer had ever bothered
much about the Mosaic mandates; but
here was one which conceded perfectly
with a fellows inclination.
True, it mad sometimes been neces-
sary to sandbag a man who got rough
with his objections or threatened to
tell the police, and it was a fact that
this method had sometimes resulted
disastrously to the sandbagged; but
such a practice wasn't general, par
ticularly among the high-class men.
Now the government, which had
heretofore most aggressively opposed
all rough handling, was actually at
tempting to coerce men into propo-
sition that was more or less whole
sale murder-and such mussy work.
Then, too, it would be different if q
chap had any idea how long the thing
might last; but to get tied up in
lot of training that wouldn't do a
fellow any good after the war was
preposterous. Besides, it wasn't their
war-they ddn't start it. Let the guys
who pulled the thing off scrap it out.
No, fighting wasn't for the professional
loafer.
But the alternatives! New York's
underworld, flannel or silk shirted,
has always agreed on one de-
scriptive phrase that put man out
side its pale. "Him? Oh, he works."
is its cpitome of condemnation. But
this law: Without doubt something
had to be done, and speedily. The re-
suit was a general exodus out of New
York, by Pullman or brakebeam. The
city suddenly became unhealthful, and
some $50 gunner, about 200 "cadetS,"
rs handbook men and 200 tango lizards
hastily sought 1azier climes.
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
City Will Never
Be the Same

There has often been talk about
cleaning New York-thc state idlcrs'
law threatens to accomplish it. Whether
much has been added to the productive
power of the state remains to be proved.
But that good has resulted from the
Whitman law campaign against loafers
Is undoubtedly a fact. New York will
never be quite the same. Broadway
may soon be as safe as the Y. NJ. C. A..
and the policemen have to get other
jobs or be arrested as idlers.
Sooner or later somebody doubtless
New-York tribune., 1918-07-21
Were Doing Their
First Lick Of Work

Ihe SIX were inclined to sulk until
Smith mentioned the Whitman law and
dellcately suggested that even work
might be preferable to an enforced
lodging in the Tombs. With one ac-
cord the six translated into howl of
protest all the aggravations, all the
ache of weary muscles and calloused
palms OF two weeks work on the docks,
and one. more reckless than the rest,
waved his fist at Smith with, "My God.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-08
State Leads East
in Real Patriotism,
Declares Kahle

fasteners who come to Oklahoma
10 announce that the Atlantic coast
is afire with patriotism, but that Okla
homa-poor, sleepy old Oklahoma =
hardly knows yet that the war has be
gun, are given "panning' by Harry v
Kahle, secretary-treaSurer OF the Okla
homa Employers association who has
Just returned from meeting Of the
National Council for Industrial Defense
in New York City
Reports of western delegates 10 the
meeting showed that the middle west
southwest and far western sections OF
the United States are accomplishing as
much to prosecute the war as those
parts of the country nearest the battle
front, he declares.
New York itself did not display any
more external evidences of national
spirit than Oklahoma City has shown
since April 8. 1917, when We entered
the war" declared Mr. kahle. THE
eastern man displays his patriotism by
becoming enthusiastic when he attends
a public meeting, or when some singer
at the Midnight Frolic wraps a flag
around himself and howlS about the
red the white, the blue.
"Oklahomans, on the other hand are
not so apt to become hysterical every
time they see the flag-but they are
producing more Liberty loan money &C
cording to their wealth more soldiers
and sailors according TO population
more memberships for the food admin
iStration, more war savings stamp buy
ers-more everything that counts-than
the well advertised east"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-08
Afternoon Times

far exceeds any other afternoon
newspaper in circulation in prestige,
in popularity.
The Times is Justly the peoples
popular evening paper. 1t contains
many exclusive features; high stand
ard editorial policy; "reminiscences of
ten, fifteen and twenty years ago;
"Sidelights on the War" which is
recognized as one Of the most in
formative bits of war history being
published anywhere.
From the first page, containing the
full Associated Press leased wire re-
port, to the last page, you will find
The Times bubbling over with the
news Of the world, state and city.
Myself and Others" by A. P. c.,
Theodore Roosevelts editorial, "Rev-
elations of a Wife" Dorothy Dix
Hints for the Homes" History Bits"
Problems of the Heart "The
Young Lady Across the Way"
Dress" by Anne Rittenhouse. Briggs
and Budd Fishers cartoons are only
a part of the numerous exclusive fea-
lures that help to make The Times
Oklahoma Citys
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-03-08

TT renders rs victim morbid. pe,,i-
L mNlc. cnuous. and morally and
physically flahhy and kills every pros.
pcct OF success There's no pep and
ginger left m such a person Nothing
OF the spirit that makes him want to 30
over the top. and fight his way to VIC
tory, nor IS there IN him one quality
that draws him 10 another human being,
and gives that comrldeshlp that makes
anyone give him a hand up
Mothers sympathy has made more
failures than any other one thing IN
the world
On the other hand. the mother who
gives her children a brace instead oi
pity when they face the hard duties Of
lie. breeds IN them the qualities that
makes success DO you think that those
two Brooklyn boys whose mothers held
them steady IN the ranks when they got
wabbly and wanted to drop ont. will
make good soldicrs2 Never a doubt Of
II They simply wouldn't dare to come
back and look their mothers in the face
ii they showed the white feather. They
would know that their mothers wouldn't
weep tears OF sympathy over a coward
They would Shriyel him up with their
Scorn.
All life is a battle, and its hard on
the young and weak, There come times
OF encouragement when every boy and
girl feel like throwing down their weap-