Evening star., 1918-05-19
BV Ellis arker Butler

We Attend to All Details" The first
following page WAS devoted to the
subject of western girls in general
and their admirable wifeiy qualities
The next page was headed: 1--WE Ar
range Proxy Marriages" This page
Mr.. Heath read from the first word to
the last. He did not skip a line
When he had finished his face was
CHASTITY.
This is going to kill mother" was
what he said.
The page on proxy marriages was
enough to worry any young man In
Mr.. Heath's position. IL explained
the law of proxy weddings as pro-
territory of oklamaha. with the rul-
ing of the supreme court making
telegraph proxy weddings legal. and
the certificate granted to J. Bunker
permitting him to perform proxy
weddings by mail or wire. 1t men,
TONED Mr. Bunker's fee as being 500.
There's one thing" said Mr. Bun
ker. after the two men had stood in
silence for some minutes: "she is
nice-looking girl"
This did not seem TO cheer Mr.
Heath greatly
Nice looking: What has that got
to do with it?" he groaned The
world is fun of nice-looking girls.
marry them all. Why. look here" he
cried. with evaporation. Il can't
marry this girl
shes your wife already" said Mr..
Bunker.
Butch. it spoiis everything-it
spoils my life, I wasn't going to he
married for five years yet I don't
want a wife and family and all that.
Mother will-mother viii disinherit
me. And I'm engaged to marry Kate
Fanderdonok five years from now
Maybe this wife will die before
then" said Mr.. Bunker. hopefully
I'll bet this girl I'm married to
isn't in nv class at all, Is she?"
asked Mr.. Heath, in deep depression.
Her pa runs the milk route out
there" said Mr.. Bunker
aye gods" cried Mr.. Heath" She's
a milkmaid. Mother-mother will
commit suicide Me married to a
milkmaid I never saw. and mother
Kate still standing. What does this
what does my wife's mother look
like"
Last time seen her" said Mr..
Bunker. .'she looked quite a consid-
cradle like me. Same build and
chin whiskers."
Great Scott" exclaimed Mr.. Heath
Mr.. Bunker felt heartily sorry for
the poor young man. The tears were
running down the poor fellows face.
AS Mr.. Wells Hardcome Heath sat
which he had dropped. he seemed par
ticularly young and immature. and
Mr.. Bunker. much as he felt he should
give more time to building up the
finale of his bunco-plan. had not the
heart to cause Mr.. Heath any more
pain than necessary. Mr.. Heath sat
with his head buried in his hands.
and Mr.. Bunker watched him. much as
an angler watches a hooked trout.
"Ardella's last husband" he said.
f<A \.
us she a widow"
We'll. not exactly what you'd call a
full widow" said Mr.. Bunker. She's
a divorced widow. I got her a divorce
from her last husband. / got her
proxy divorce"
He handed Mr.. Heath one of the
cards he had just had printed. 1t an
nounced that Mr.. Bunker secured, for
a observation-disclosures fee, divorces
by proxy anywhere in the territory
of Oklamaha. The effect on Mr.. Heath
was Immediate and twofold. At first
his countenance frightened; then a
look OF suspicion came upon ii. He
scowled at Mr.. Bunker.
I'm onto you" he cried. IT KIN. W
what this means: ii means that this is
a bunko-game, that's what IL means.
You get folks to marry by proxy. and
they don't suit each other. and then
YOU get them to divorce each other.
You can't fool me. I'm New Yorker
ana L can see INTO things. It's
bunko scheme-that's why you charge
three hundred dollars for divorce
and only one hundred for a mar
riaRe."
"Bunking is part of my regular
line" admitted Mr.. Bunker.
About two weeks later. when Mr..
Bunker had the four hundred dol
lars Mr.. Heath had paid for a proxy
marriage and a proxy divorce safely
in the very bank of which Mr.. Heath
was the largest single stockholder.
Mr.. Heath was walking down 5th
avenue. AS he neared 42d street. he
saw coming toward him a face he
knew well. This was the face of Mrs.
Roxana Burlington. Mr.. Heath stiff
ened his back and walked straight
ahead. and Mrs. Burlington. hurrying
home. passed him without so much as
glance. Mr.. Heath drew a deep
breath of relief.
That bunko fellow was a crook. but
he was a straight crook he said to
himself IF he hadn't got that proxy
divorce for me. that girl would have
been after me long ago"
The next story in this series is:
"ART AND ART"