Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1918-05-09
Buttons

sCome hereis cried the mother "a
the family severely. us that = pin 7
see in the front Of your lblousei How
many times must / tell you. Caroline.
to sew on buttons and hooks and never
never pin yourself together Some
times ! wish there wasn't such thing
as a pin In the worldl"
"Huhl. shifted Caroline. "Just one
little pin-and you can hardly see It'll
don't see why you make such fuss!'''
EMO doubt" said the father Of the
family. bursting into the conversation,
''y0u don't, but there Is great and
basic truth underlying your mothers
frantic efforts to save you. The truth
Is that men don't like girls who use
pins instead Of needles and thread.
Men like peace and quiet. and solid.
dependable surroundings and 1t upsets
them frightfully to be made nervous
and hnrried.
"a girl who pins herself together GER
tainly Is not dependable.
''For instance" continued the father
of the family, II was terribly in love
with girl when / was an exceedingly
young nun. think was about nine
teen and was merely filling in the
time until your mother came. along
when i was twenty-five and had at
tained horse sense.
'aThe minute laid eyes on Isabel.
surrounded six deep by my friends. ]
knew had met my fate. She was one
Of these ethereal, fioaty sort Of crea.
lures who you expected would fit
away on n moOnbeam or something like
thnt. There always were lacy scnrfs
and tulle wisps and ribbons waving
about Isabel and she was regular
dainty little creature-to look at. Yet
the boys seemed to get over their fond.
ness for her very quickly. They would
say, oh, yes, Isabel was a nice enough
girl and awfuliy pretty-but had you
seen the new girl who had just moved
in down on Hopkins street In the house
with the cupola?
Invariably after being in love with
Isabel they seemed to turn instructive
ly to strictly tailor-made young won.
en-. It was because the tailor-made
kind absolutely cannot use pins. That
was the trouble with Isabel. That girl
literally pinned herself together and
she had special brand Of pins with.
out any heads on them, judging from
the way they showered out She would
start out Mt a dance looking like q
fluffy angel, with white tulle scarf
draped around her shoulders, and al
the end Of the first waltz her partner
would haEe to do a football dive un.
der the ironshod feet Of his friends In
order to rescue the draggled remains
Of that tulle.
II never knew another girl who hated
buttons SO thoroughly as did Isabel. Al
first you wouldn't notice that she had
carefully stuck pin in Mt each spot
where forlorn buttonhole waited pa.
tiently for its absent button, but things
eventually brought 1t to your attention
That was the era when dresses but
toned down the back. There was q
young man calling on Isabel one lovely
summer evening and, as they sat on the
broad porch seat his arm accidentally
fell of the railing and its impetus was
sufficient to cause it to wind about hei
waist.
"When the people down on Main
street got the echo Of that yell II
caused intense excitement. Zed Sim
mons, who was in the middle of a
funny story, nearly bit of the end OF
his tongue he stopped so quickly, and
Judge Belmont let the front legs Of his
chair come down so suddenly that the
BARRIERS dog had no chance ut all and
to its last day wore that hole punched
through its ear. I
"You see, there were enough pins In
Isabel's belt and waist generally ia
sink battleship and that unfortunate
young man got every last one of them
shot into his arm clean up to the hilt
Isabel's mother and her father and her
little brother and the hired girl and the
hired girls girl friend and one or two
neighbors all came running and it took
all Of them to pry the young man loose.
"You do not need to have me tell
you that this was most horribly EN-.
barrassing situation, especially as his
arm in lighting where 1t did had been
activated purely by accident, and his
efforts to explain to Isabel's father be.
tween yelps of pain. so to speak, were
very pathetic. He never went to see
Isabel again and she eventually mar.
ried travelling man, who after he
married her managed to travel 385
days every year, leaving her lonesome
and pining, all because he couldn't
stand looking at so many pins bursting
forth. So you see"
Maybe she didn't like him much,