davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Another feet Of army motor trucks has ielt
the interior for the scaboard. Some day per-
haps one may read OF great fleets of military
trucks travelling from Washington to the coast
via Richmond. or travcrsing the State from
west 20 east from war munition centers
That day, however. is in the future. In the
present condition OF Virginia $ highways, the
only way to pass over them in safety is By
airplauc.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Juvenile StuH.

the little girl "ho reads the ncxspapcrs a nd
Who takes "A great interest in public affairs and
Who was seeing the sights in Washington to
the snickcrinG conductor who never Knocked
down fare. and was, therefore, poor bat
honest
Mister does this car pass the prohibition
amcndmcnt:'
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

The man who rocks tho boat.
Tho fellow who didn't know I, was loaded
The susceptible glnk who went flower hunt
ing With g!r! and got engaged
The man who thought nc Was immune from,
poisoned ivy.
Tho picnickcr who sat tho ground III fore
u VS. warm and was looked i, aympa thctica1ly
b.! his widows relatives
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Whiskcr Yarn.

We Ike 10 dig up yarns now and then about
"hiSheTs. somehow. whiskcr growing is the
most humorous error Indigenous to man. what
ever that means Here's one wrcst!ed out
OF the inside OF very old COPY Of :, formerly
humorous periodical. Puck--vintace of 1851:
hanker-John. you must go and get shaved
instantly.
Iohh-but. sir am growing a beard,
bahhcr--fou may grow what you like az
nome. but I'll not have YOU growing whiskers
in business hours.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Eix.. xatnrnIIxntinn pnners.

Il. s. T.. City Pont.-Ecs, British
subject may apply for first papers in
the process OF naturalization. if he has
continuously for five years. and of the
state in which he makes application
one year.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
.IalS.

Tho vain man Is AS silly as the mastery
woman.
Cherries are ripe any old time-.o an op-
timist
disturbance.
some mercy is strained through coarse sieve
Habit excuses apoocist.
y peacocks voice thrills no Hammerstcin
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Flour Substitutes.

J L. r.. Spring Grove.-lf YOU vii!
applv 10 the State Food Administrator,
whose headquarters are in this city,
"A copy Of the latest regulations per-
tanning TO sales of -four VIII be sup
piled YOU.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
VOICE OF THE PEOPJ F

Vas OUT OF the State and could no, b,
.isn',l nave expressed themselves a.
apSotutelF opposed 20 cceducat!on TEa
separation they deem requisite must ns
hut merely theoretical. No, ONLY hs
PfaSs!aeht ana board. but. as has been
frequently stated, and as is evidenced
oS INC communications which hay.
!tached Us at laast - per cent Of m,
aluinhi OF the University OF Vlrsini.
az onposeu TO "a coordinate college,
and al least ~ per cen, TO roran,,.,{1,
EirA iItNTpN. JR
HENRY TAYLOR. JR
MURRAY ~ MCGUIRE.
klcnmoHd, February J.. 1915
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Praise for the Oyster

he Federal Bureau OF Fisheries calls
upon the American people to eat moro
oysters citing the fact that it is not only
pleasure but d duty, in these days OF food
CONSERVATION In issuing this in junction 10
the public. the government goes to tho dc
tense OF this product Of the waters, reassuring
the country that nothing purcr now comes
from the sea
NirginanS do not need this advice. OF
course. They have known not only the Joys
Of this delicacy, but the wholesomcness Of
it for centuries, aud have prided themselves
upon their ability to grow an oyster admitted
y superior 10 any in the world. But there
are lot of people somewhat removed from
Lynnhaven Bay, York River and the lower
James who may still entertain msgyings
to the purity OF this product, and it will
behooye them to take very seriously the state
ments Of the government.
The Bureau of Fisheries has issued u poster
giving q series of conclusive reasons why
You should eat oysters" I'm the first place
the bureau says, oyster production OF the
United States is the greatest in the world
IN the next place it can be made greater
because vast areas OF unproductive bottom
can be made productive by culture. Again
the purity Of the oysters placed on the mar
ket is now assured by United States and State
inspection in cooperation with the large pro-
ducers"
All this being vouched for, the bureau re-
minds the citizen that it is a duty to utilize
this great food resource as far as possible
and other foods OF which there is a
cearth. We are privileged, the officials say
TO use freely the oyster, which in other coun-
tries than ours Is luxury rather than a
common food Finally. the government closes
its case with the convincing statement that
the oyster is without waste, digestible
wholesome and delicious and it may be pre-
pared in many ways II any reader Of this
poster does not know how many ways there
! are a serving the oyster. he is invited to
address .he United States Bureau OF Fisheries
/ III Washington for a free cookbook All this
/ * sound advice, and the government bureau
/ Is applaudet for the tmelness Of its suc-
! eesiipa and for the quality OF its taste
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Stuuc !,

"Ah-cr-Miss Mabel" said tho fellow who
contemplated proposing. can YOU cook-cr-
Gigs for instancc?'
May ask you swung in the fair one. "can
YOU buy eggs"
Whereupon he realized that he required
transfer.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
The Brute

Mrs. NaSserly-You can growl all YOU want,
Johh HasserlE. but you know perfectly we'll you
pursued me a fun year before | yielded and con-
scented to marry you.
NaaserlE Ga heartlcss gink With an awful
ncrve)--rhats right; I'll give YOU credit You
did suspend sentence for quite Il while
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
ki,i NaiSiuS.

y a maW-Chilh.
y regular boy hates to bc pa,tcd and curl
pulled.
The hc-instinct Of life is straigh, on to a barr
tone voice and a razor
And for those who have been raised on bon
bons Lord, what blessing il the war.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

AS Uncle Eide Dudley might have said. II hc
had thought OF it first:
y bald man moves his comb through air,
Md heavy is his heart.
For YOU cannot lose all of your hair
md Silll retain a "nart"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
u

There goes married man who is afraid Of
his wife
You know him.
NO, but can see can't /, He has c,o,,
shave that She made him go, hu, .,ho,...
button off his vest and the way he limps proves
Il hole in his sock"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
When poets sing Of The gen,,e snrinr

Whcn PoctS sing OF the gentle spring
When other folks freezing
and Elp their praise OF the tilawinE DAYS
When other folks sncczing;
When they paint spring scenes in the magazines
With their weird vcrs libre pattcr
They should be Intcrncd till they all have learned
That II is no Joking matter
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

me bride wore An exquisite diamond cluster
brooch. the gif' Of tho groom, and carried fora
mum or i'rldc roses The groom gold
watch and chain. the gift OF the bridc-AIarion
(Ohio) Tribune.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Starting tho aid or Right.

Born TO Mr. and Mrs. Fred Washer n ten
and-a Ina lf-pound girl. Various games were
played there Was an old fashioned barn dance
and oysters were served. All report a pleasant
time WAS had-Siurgis 'Mich1 Journal.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

PUBLISHED every day In the year az 10 South Tenth
street. Richmond, Va. by The Times DISPATCH Pub
ishiux Co.. 1Er.. Charles +. Aasbrook. Editor apt
Nnnngct.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Much Ado About NOTHING
BY ROY a. MOTITnN

If tho conservation and tho .,.s.. a,, -,
on az their present rate there Won, - 80
thing TO give up for Lent. "''
There used be women who uorri,a .,a.
about their hack hair than thcv aid aho,, .ho
high cost OF living "
But they have passed from viay Ma ~.
wocfus and tho dodo bird
Fashion journal says: "On accoun, OF The
scarcity OF material. skirts VIII bc shorter and
tighter next Summer"
Gosh: it's fierce TO he drafted and have to 20
70 France next summer
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Social MOTTO.

That man is model OF poiitencsy"
Precisely, and, therefore. "a paragon OF con-
tented discomfort
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Thc Limit.

Imagine two more dsagrecable pcrsons n Won
Than the woman who is frowzy and the always
AhavclcSs man.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Extremes.

Heaven PITY the woman who's husband is 50
wild that She can't control him. or the one whose
spouse is 50 good that he's monotonous
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

While Germany insists that the United
States has been terribly deceived by Eng
land and France" it cannot claim success in
decciylnS any one.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

There viii be but few more dog DAYS in
Virginia II Representative Baker is allowed 10
get in his work
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

I:eats AL how shy OF greatest Twin;
Americans when there is presidential cleo
ton in sight.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

ADDRESS ALL CONCENTRATIONS The Times
Dispatch, aud 10 Individuals
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

TELEPHONES: Randolph 1.
Private Branch EAchapzo
connecting with all depart
meufs,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

INC whoie world is eager TO grease the slide
ior any fellow who starts down the chute Of
Luck.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Germany uses gun for strike-breaker,
ana does it with success every time.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Our old friend Aaron Hoffman says:
IF meat goes up any higher. il Will be worth
than money.
There won't be any money. Instead Of car
ryinS money, You will carry meat.
"a slrloin steak will be hundred dollar bill.
YOU will go and deposit ii III tho bank.
And when you ask the cashier for change he
will give you piece of liver"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Il doesn't seem just right that Congressman
Kitchin is not at the head of the food
r!ittcc.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Undoubtedly there has been lavish and per
haps wastctul expenditure OF government
funds mt the Hog Island Navy-Nard. SO long
ms there has been actual graft or other
misrepresentation OF money. the public viii
not be- inclined TO bubble provided the ship
building contract is carried out to the letter
and the 40 vessels promised are launched
on time. What the nation needs and must
have is ships TO slow up the building
program now to look for leak would be
penny wisdom
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

BRANCH OFFICES: Wash-
inston, 1l6 Fourtcenth
street, y. W.; New York
City, Fifth Avenue Build
ing; Chicago, Peoples Gas
Building; Philadelphia. Mu-
tual Life Building.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

1t will be necessary TO designate sleepless
nights.
y good many OF observing s.ccp!ess
nights seven days in the week
Like the Owl Restaurant at Keokuk. Iowa, we
sleep
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
mt lie Don

ne Aulho'-l nave here sir. 4 new joke
Inc Lo''er--iamcs. throw out this !mpostur,
II can't be done.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

Propose OF certain Virginia Democrats 10
abandon interparty fights for Congress this
year really is an offer OF an opportuui,y Ia
Republicans 10 exchange chance for :; Ger
tainty in the Ninth District. The RepubIi.
r cans have not the slightest chance TO elect
their man in any other OF the ten districts
and putting UP a candidate is mere formal
ny Tor the sake OF party organization In
the Ninth they are reasonably sure OF sue
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

ADOPTION OF the budget system for the
disbursement Of Virginia 5 funds is practi-
cal!y assured Only TWO dissenting votes were
cast in the Senate, and little opposition TO It's
passage in the House is expected. Leaders
OF economic thought long have fought for
such I. measure, and il was one OF the chief
recommendations i'll Governor Davis's inau.
Cural address, Not until its adoption can the
states affairs be placed on basis OF
thorough business efficiency. Even then il
VII! requir" The creation OF State Iurchas-
ing agency as its necessary complement be-
fore the demands OF economy and efficiency
viii br fUy met There is 90 reason to
doubt that both bills will be enacted into
law.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
Helping Hand,

RHe Ctcrhn1 Question.
Got your coal?"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14
RGhmonD Giu1r5,bispafrh
THE DISPATCH

uttered JnDsary -; 1905. a Post Onico at
Richmond. Va, secoad-class matter.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

n our friends who fnvor ~ with munuscrips lnd
r.t Tor publication wish to have unavailable
article, returned they must III all cases send stamps
that
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

MEMusE OF THE AsSoCltIEn phEsS:-I,n ae
Associated exclusively entitled TO the use Tor
capitalization Of all news dispatches credited 60 Sr
incs news published herein. AN rights of rcpuIliea-
don 81 special >pui herein also reserved
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-14

-~-
SEEN ON THE SIDE
by HENRY EDWARD WARNER
! am great astronomer: how far from earth
to Venus.
To Mars to Jupiter--how many milos Of air bo-
tween us?
Q shucks! Just ask 'em something hard, A
simple sum to do.
! y fool could guess one-half the way and multiply
by two.
The Brute!
Mrs NaSgerly-Yuu can prowl ALI Won want
| Jehn NasserlE. but you know perfectly we'll you
pursued me a full year before yielded and con-
scented to marry you.
Naaserlr "a heartlcss gink With an awful
herve)-rhats right; I'll give YOU credit. You
did suspend sentence for quite Il while
The vain man is as silly as the mastery
woman.
Cherries are ripe any old time-.o an op-
timist
disturbance. "
some mercy is strained through , coarse e!cve
Habit excuses apoiosist.
y p'a'oeNs voice thrills no Hammerstcin.
Cnn't lie Done
the Author-l have here sir. a new Joke
The Editor--1amcs. throw out this inr.st ar,
II can't be done.
The Eternal Question
Got your coal?'
Helping Hand
Tho whole world is eager to -reas. ,ba slide
for any fellow who starts down the chute Of
Luck
Proof.
a m "ri lad
his wife
You know him.
No put can see. can't /? He has a clean
shave that sho made him get bu, .,here's a
button off his vest, and the way he limps proves
Il hole in his SOCK
Imagine two more disagrecable persons IL you
Than the woman who is frowzy and the always
ahaveless man.
whisker Yarn
We like 10 dig up yarns now and rhen obou,
"hS"e's somehow. whiskcr growing is the
most humorous error indigenous to man what.
ever that means. Here's one we wrest!eI out
% ''e INSIDE OF r very old copy Of formerly
humorous periodical. Puck-vntace of 1851.
Banker-John. You must go and get shaved
instantly
dohn-But. sir, am growing a beard,
na"HeF--iou may grow what YOU like AZ
iton'e' pu' II not nave YOU growing whisherS
IN business hours:
Extremes
Heaven pity the woman who's hus band is 50
wild that She can't control him. the one whose
spouse is 50 good that he's monotonous
Social Note.
That man is model of poiitencsy
Precisely and, therefore. paragon OF con
tented discomfort"
lid nnisius.
Don't lap raise man-child
y regular boy hates to be pattcd and curl
pulled.
The he instinct Of life is straich, on 10 . h,yy
tone voice and a razor.
Ana for those who have been raised on bon
hons' Lord what blessing is the war
StunE:
"Ah-cr--MiSs Mabel" said tho fellow who
contemplated proposing can YOU cook-cr
eggs, for instancc?"
May ask YOU" swung in tho fair one. can
you buy eggs"
whereupon he realized that he required
transfer
Spring Chumps.
The man who rocks tho boat
Tho fellow who didn't know Il was loaded
The susceptible glnk who went flower hunt
ing With cir! and got engaged.
The man who thought nc Was immune from,
poisoned ivy.
Tho picnichcr who sat tho ground III fore
il VS. warm and was looked u aympathcticallv
b.' his WIDOWS relatives
Juvenile StuG.
The little girl "ho reads the newspapers and
who takes great interest in public affairs, and
Who seeing the sights in Washinston. to
the snickcrinG conductor who never kuockcI
down fare. and was therefore, poor but
honest,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
SAVE PENNIES AND DOLLARS.
From Publicity Bureau,
Virginia War Savings Committee,
Richmond, Virginia.

One often hears complaints that
the parents of the complanants fail
ed to educate them in thrift. Usually
these are uttered by those past middle
age, who have nothing laid aside for
"rainy day" Quite likely they fail
ed to become thrifty because there
was no example provided to go hand
in hand with the prccepts to save.
There Is wonder that nearly every
foreigner who came to our, shores
from certain quarters OF Europe was
saving Inquiry will prove, that in
each Of these quarters there was pro
vided an easy method Of depositing
earnings.
In Switzerland every other person
--554 out of 1000-had prior to 1914,
a savings account. While children
they were fought to save their pennies
and put them in the postal bank or
other institutions near at hand. Thus
they acquired the habit of laying
away certain portion Of thoir sur
plus. Almost every habit has the
same tendency to cling, the good as
we'll as tho bad.
Some parents in the United States
recently have bought bonds for their
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
AMERICAN SOLDIERS SAYING GOODBYE.

children On the installment plan, hop
ing that this will serve to stimulate
their thriftness. This is commendable
and effective, too. But it would be
far better if the children were TO be
trained to handle these things for
themselves. It y therefore recommend
ed that they become interested in the
Thrift Stamp and War Savings Ger
aficate pan of tho United States
Government.
Start each child with q thrift card
let 1t save until it secures sufficient
FUNDS to buy stamps and carry the
accumulation along until a savings
certificate can be bought. In some
cities the school banks succeeded won
derfully in establishing the savings
habit among the little ones. Drilling
them at the same time in arithmetic
and the art Of banking and account
ing E....
The new national savings system
will do this for every child. Then
there Is the lesson Of patriotism that
can go hand in hand with this educr
ton against extravaganza. Love of
country and the necessity Of denial
for the common cause of humanity
will early be instilled into the minds
Of the American children and the
fruitage will be better men, better
women, and, above all, better chill
dren.
April 90, 1918.
A. b. TUNIS,
Publicity Manager.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
TELEGRAM WANTS ORDER
COUNTERMANDED

The Telegram read as follows:
Boston, Mass, April 81 191S.-To
President Woodrow Watson, White
House, Washington, d. c..
The National EquGl Rights League
calls upon you to countormand Gen.
Ballou's Bulletin No. 35 for 92nd Di-
vision, Camp Funston, Kansas, en-
Joining officers and soldiers to re-
frain from going into public places
where their presence is resented be
cause of Color. His d,ctum that asking
public service is putting pleasure
above the general good is not applied
to white soldiers destroys all civil
rights, causes fresh Determinations
fosters race prejudice humiliates our
race, degradcs the army uniform.
No order so yiciouS Or undemocratic
has been issued in any armies fight
ing Germany. Protect American sol
diers in democracy at home before
sending them abroad in Dcmocracy's
War, ...-. ...
Rev. Byron Gunner, N. Y. Pres.
Rev. M. T. Sydes. n. I. Exec. Com,
! William Monroe Trottcr, Mass,
Cor. Secretary.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
Blacksmith Wanted.

A colored Blacksmith wanted, with
or without family. Light work, good
wages. Apply at once.
William II. Mapp, Box 115
Eastville, Va. Phone 29--12.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
ASK PRESIDENT TO COUNTERS
MAND GENERAL BALLOU'S
JIM GROW ORDER.

Boston, Mass, April %, 191S.-Re-
saralng 1t as the most non-democratic
action since the world war began the
National Equal Rights League which
has branches in 90 states and Will
hold its 18th Annual meeting in CHI
cago in August, protested to Presi-
dent Wilson by telegraph last nigh, ,
aga.n the order of Major General
Ballou, former commander of tho
seperate officer training school for
Colored, which order is so insulting
cnnt 1t was torn down. three times
when posted up at Camp Upton and
which order Colored soldiers to sur
render civil rights at the behest of
white race prejudice.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11

British been in
masFy nat w hep win the war This photograph just
&c we'd country is the first
Gaow engaged in the Wonderful British
such great wonders III demoralizing Huns.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1918-05-11
Bnl}K ING

Some people will not take advice from
any one. Some people VII take advice
from irresponsible people and some people
Will take advice only from people who
they believe are well informed enough 10 ..
give advice and some other people will
take advice only from those people, who
will give advice I'M accordance with their
desires and wishes.
In matters of finance, it is always best
to consult a person who has succeeded in
handling Enthusiastically their own finan-
ces The reason for this is that in select
ing physician, one seeks a competent
one, who has succeeded in relieving some
one else With reference to money mat
ters, 1T Is we'll to learn the basic principle
by beginning to save a small amount, no
matter how small that amount NAV he and
not be selfish enough to fear that death
may overtake you and some one else may
profit by your saving habit.
Patronize some banking institution.
give encouragement to your own financial
institutions. When YOU learn to do this,
your future VII be promising and hap
piness In later years secure
john MITCHELL, JR.,
President, Mechanics Savings Bank.