Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-14
LHe'S Problems
Are Discussed
By MRS. WILSON WOODROW

a wise and witty old friend of
mlne-l regard him as a friend, al
though l know him only through the
comments and criticisms he writes
me upon these articles of mine
rails at me occasionally in a good
humored way upon the amount of
space l devote to the woes of the
married. Happily welded himself,
he sees no sense or reason in the
so-called problems of matrimony;
and then, too, he is sufferer from
sciatica. which surely gives him a
license to growl at anything he wants
to.
Yet when one considers that of
the three great adventures of life
marriage is the only one that can
in a measure he charted or con-
trolled, and that upon it depends to
so great an extent the success and
happiness of our careers, does not
the subject merit all the discussion
which can throw any light upon its
difficulties and hazards? For the ma
jority of people it is the most vital
and pervasive fact in their exist
ence.
We know not whence we come at
| birth, or whittier we are going at
death; but to marry or not to marry
! is largely at our own option, to-
gether with the why" the when,
the where" the how" and the
whom" of it. And whether we
make hash or roses of the expert
ence is equally, if sometimes uncon-
sciously, in our own hands.
And just as the aviator soaring
aloft can often see the sunken rect
or obstacle invisible to the navigator
on the surface, so the detached and
unprejudiced observer of marriage
may detect perils in the tack which
| is being followed, wholly unrealized
| by those who are sailing the bark.
! Here, for example, is young
| wife who is very genuinely puzzled
and distressed over something she
spies which seems to her to spell
shipwreck ahead. but which is really
only a windrift on the water.
Il wonder what you would do, If
you were placed as l am she
writes. II have been married two
years. My husband loves me dear
| ly, and generally is the best of hus-
bands. He has one fault, however,
that kills all my love for him. We
get along nicely for a long while,
and then suddenly my husband
doesn't come home from business.
worry and wait, and finally start
! hunt for him. People say he must
| be hurt, and I half believe it my
! self, although all the while l sus-
pect that he is merely revenging
| himself on me again.
| 1.-TWO or three days later he turns
up without apology or explanation,
! except that something l did had
angered him, and he proposed to
get even. If he were a tempera-
mental fellow l might understand
! but he is just a plain American,
/ quiet and good at all times except
when he breaks out suddenly in the
way 1 describe. I've found out long
, ago it does no good to scold. but all
my tears and all can say has no ef-
feet. What shall 1 do with him|'
| For answer let me tell you what
one woman said she did in SIM
liar case; since as l gather, yours
is no unusual experience. Indeed, l
am told that it is quite the custom
among young husbands to display
this runaway impulse. just as it is
with colts not yet thoroughly broken
to harness.
The woman to whom I refer had
suffered for a long time as you do.
During his absences she searched for
him wildly; on his return she would
indulge in Mysteries. Then she sud
denly realized that she was simply
playing into his hand. He wanted
to torment her and she showed him
that he was able to do so. Accord
ingly. the next time he disappeared
she forced herself to smother her
anxiety, went about her customary
affairs in the usual way, and when
he eventually turned up, asked no
questions and made no protests, but
greeted him calmly and Indifferent
~ as if he had never been away. The
! wind was completely taken out of his
sails, and a later repetition of the
treatment completely cured him.
The husbands are not always to
blame for the runaway impulse, how
ever. Wives are quite apt to clank
the matrimon chain too loudly and
thus startle sensitive ears. forgetting
that marrige is not a serfdom but a
partnership-a business association
and like any other business, apt to
prove stale and wearisome.
When a man sees his business
partner becoming tagged and run
down, he says John, you're losing
your pep Take a week or. so off
and go fishing. Don't give thought
to the shop till you come back" But
a woman will say: John, you're not
looking we'll. You need rest. Well
take the children and go some
where" And the last state of tn at
man is worse than the first.
Every American, no matter how
plain and prosaic, is Temperament
| tai" under the skin. He has in him
the spirit of adventure. And the
wise woman when he begins to
show signs of vagrant yearnings will
not oppose them. but will practically
force him from the nest, recognizing
that If a man needs an occasional
vacation from business, so he does
from the cares and worries of family
life. When he comes back. he will
tackle them with fresh enthusiasm.
iewed from above, there are