Evening star., 1918-04-07
raH1s trip Il was m.tter Of t.nks.

C@8IS trip IL was matter OF tanks.
No, not the ice-water variety.
or the kind that absorbs high
q balls Army tanks-the sort
that wallows out at daybreak and gives
the Hun that chilly feelin' down his
spine.
Accordin' to my credentials, I was
supposed to be inspectin' 'em for weak
spots in the armor or punk work on
the gears. And I can tell you now. on
the side. that it was 90 per cent bluff.
What the ordnance department really
wanted to know was whether the work
was bein' speeded up proper. how many
men on the shifts, and was the steel
comm through from the roliin' mills
all right. Get me? Sleuth stuff.
ia been knockin' around there for
four days, bein' towed about by the re-
serve major who had face on him like
Q stuffed owl, nut full of decimal
fractions and a rubber-stamped mind.
Oh, he was on the job. all right. So
was everybody else in sight. I could
see that after the first day. In fact.
I coded in my o. K. the second noon
and was plannin' to slip back home.
But when / limited as much to the
major he nearly threw a catf1t. Why,
he'd arranged demonstration at 10
Am Thursday for my special benefit.
And there were the tests-horsepower
gun ranges. resistance. and / don't
know what all: technical junk that /
sawed about as much as II he'd been
tryin' to show how to play the Chinese
alphabet on a piccolo.
Course / couldn't tell him that, nor I
didn't want to break his heart by refus-
in. So agrees to stick around a while
longer. But say, never enjoyed such
a poor time doin' 1t. For there was
anxious to be for the next few days.
That was at home. 1t was one of the
times when 1 ought to be there, too,
for-weli, IN set to that later
Besides. this fact'ry joint where they
were buiIdin' the tanks wasn't any al
lurin' spot can't advertise just
where 1t was, either; the government
wouldn't like 1t. But IL there's any
part Of Connecticut that's less interest
in 10 loaf aro''nd in: never cot stranded
there. You run q spur track out into
the bare hills fifteen miles from no.
where, slap up row of cement bar
racks and few acres of machine
shops. string a ten-foot barbed wire
fence around the plant. drape the whole
OUTFIT in soft coal smoke, and you amt
got any Garden of Eden winter resort.
Specially where it's full of mechanics
who speak in seven different ingos and
subsist mainly on cut plug and garlic.
After I'd checked up all the dope I'd
come for. and durin' the times when the
major was out plannin more inspection
stunts for me, I was left to drill around
by myself. Hours and hours. And all
there was to read in the majors Office
was engineerin' magazines and the his
try of Essex county, Mass Havin'
been fed up on mechanics. I tackled the
hist'ry. One chapter had a corkfn' good
Indian scalpin' story in 1t about Mrs.
Hannah Dustin: and say, as short
order hair remover she was q lady
champ, all right But the rest of the
book wasn't too thrillin'.
secretary. Lieut.. Barnes. The major
must have picked him out on account OF
that serious face of his First of, had
an idea Barnes was sad because he was
detailed at this soggy place instead Of
bein' sent to France. 1 asks him sort of
sympathixin' how long he's been here.
He says three months.
Il don't mind it." says he. II find the
work quite interesting"
But EVENING" I suggests.
II write to my wife," says he.
wanted to ask him what about, but
choked It back '-Oh. yes" says L "of
course Any youngsters at homer
plicated enough without children"
oh I don't know" says L They'd
sort Of help. should think"
He shakes his head and stares gloomy
out Of the window. Il cannot agree with
you." says he. Perhaps you have never
ssr;ou.ly considered just what it means
Maybe not.,' says /, ''but-'
Few seem to do So" he breaks In.
Just think; one begins by putting two
Lets pass over that" I says, hastily.