The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-07-25

S U N B E A M S.

- But take my wore
for it we will ye
see worse days. But are we blue OF
discouraged? No, sir, not nons
whatever. We are about the mos,
cheerful people on earth. What il
; we do go hungry. Suppose we mus,
wear l-2 soled pants to keep oul
shirt tails from floatin' on the breeze;
suppose we do have to wipe our nose
on our shirt sleeves and so with our
toes stickin' out. | say suppose we
must do any or all of these, is there
any reason to feel discouraged? No,
by the beard of the prophet, no. Our
boys are at the front dom the work
we can't do and we should land do)
feel that it is a great privilege to
skimp and save that they may have
the things nece ssary to fit them to
carry Oh. l haven't heard any one
complain yet. To do so would be
about as good as proclaiming our
selves pro-German and that would
bring us into bad flavor and place us
! in a class with the skunk. Are we
loyal' By the gods OF war we are.
If any son of a Hun thinks we amt
let him dare to question our loyalty
and then: Well then somebody call
the coroner-yessir.
ii | were German, while | might
feel that the responsibility Tor such a
calamity didn't rest on my back, I'll
Iva d;prh,o+ad II ,,,,,,1,l,,'t taaI +L,.
it was a state OF affairs very much
to be. regrettcd-I would SO.
Mary owned little lamb
That was very good at buttin'
1t wandered in the street one day
Honk-Ho Mutton.
The old saying NO more sense
than a goose has long been used to
indicate dense ignorance. Now, l
have goose lin the making that
one day last week showed quite some
intelligence. But at the last dixie
other folks do) displayed his ignor-
ance a piece of the Butler Times
laid out in our back yard The goose
ito be- discovered it, looked at it
thoughtfully for a minute, tore out a
piece and swallowed it. Curious, |
looked to see what there was in that
sheet good enough to eat. To my
he had selected Sun
Beams. The goose evidently liked
what he read, concluded they were all
good and just swallowed EN- all
Vow, which displays the most ignor-
lnce, the goose, who only glanced at
en- and swallowed EN-, or you who
cad en- all and then-swaIlow 'em.
A man said to me, Jim, you are :
lretty smooth writer Thank you
or nothing | replied, Il knew that
before. Have you spent all your !
lie writing:' he asked. Not yet"
'ays i, in early lie was salesman y
md | was reckoncd a good one &
old lightning rods, sewing machines,
ranges, pianos, etc, actually sold 4
ghtnlns rods to men who didn't ;.
ave house to put them on. have s
old sewing machines to women who "a
ldnt have a tooth in their mouths 4
nd I've sold organs and pianos to =
eople who couldn't beat :. bass y
rum. Smooth? why my dear sir, q
mooth is my middle name Ike "a
larkablc, SAID he, and now as YOU =
'ok back on your past achievements
nat do you consider your greatest q
lccess!' The thing replied, n
which has brough me more pleas p
re and less money is Sunbeams.. To y
ghten toll, to make folks forget g
leir troubles, to help them see the Il
lnny side OF life in world all TOO a
I'll of doubts, dark days and misun- b
crstandngs is the mission OF Sun s
cams. They have successfully a.
assed the censor and the people u
ave decided in favor OF them, SO | b
ay say that consider Sunbeams
y most useful work and" just 4
zen | woke up. n
In Germany when a boche gives D
S wife beating,s she goes out in -
e wood shed and prays Got, to Is
axe her a better wife, Now in this -
,untry if a man should beat his wife
lie might go to the wood shed, but n
lie wouldn't do any prayin'. No, sir. WI
ned be lookin' for an axe. W.
Frequently people quote the old nc
hatch saw "Or would some power es
lie giftie gle us-to see oursels as 10
hers sec u.s. Not me, by golly, I'd
ire hate to see myself as l see 9TH CT
s and as others see me. l guess ii &c
could get one good slant at myself Sc
others see me, I'd go away some =
ace where wouldn't be trespassin' tn
i'd scratch myself to death Qeavin' ito
note) that had died of the. itch" pa
1t is said that skunk never has ha
e asthma. BY golly, I'm not sur SO
Used at that Anyway that sore of to
:ws is about as useful to you as it HI
ould be to know that a cat fish
,esn't part its hair in the middle. do
With sugar so hard to get that no. or
'dy is drinkin' lemonade, I've been an
onderin' why lemons were in such pa
.mand, But the secret is ouf ,,.