davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

A bully Is a good deal like a bull. His voice is the fiercest thing about him,
 Why is it that the man who can spoil any story by trying to tell it always horns in and tells yopr pet story just when you were about to tell it your self2
 { We don't want to get into trouble with our friends, the preachers. But we believe-that as force for keeping men out of devilment. a wife scares a man a whole lot more than the here after does.
 Love isn't so blamed blind that it can't see that the blonde next door is making eyes at loves husband.
 You know how grudgingly you give charity to the needy. don't you? We'll, this should be a warning to you to put yourself in a position where you will never need charity.
 A pretty girl Would be blame sight prettier if she didn't insist on acting as if she knew how pretty she was.
 Our idea of an optjmist is bald headed man who cheerfully figures out how much he saves by not having to buy hair tonic and dandruff cure.
 Some men are such tightwads that they believe that a cheerful giver and avcheerful idiot run as an entry. And what has become of the old- fashioned man who used to get highly excited over a game of croquet? There are a whole lot of married worms who crow like roosterss +when | they get out with the gang No matter how absent-minded a hus- band may be, his wife can tell you that he is selfish enough not to forget him. self.
 And if men were noN such durn liars women wouldn't be neArly as vain as they are.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
pERsHINe AT WEST POINT

From the Worlds Work.
 As a student at the military academy Pershing did not shine with the same luster that he did as a soldier. Of course, to gain admission to West Point, to last through it's four years of daily cross- examinations at the blackboard, it's searching, semi-annual examinations,-A youngster must be fairly apt at study In the class of which Pershing was member. admitted to the academy on July l, 1882, there were 1o4"men. Twelve had been dropped by the end of the first year. The following year saw nine more dropped; the next year, five, and the last year, one The class graduated 77 men, an elimination of more than 9 per cent of the men who began the course four years before.
 But among the men who lasted through those four grueling years, Pershing did not shine as a student. At the end of his "Plebe' year, his general order of merit in the class was 22; at the end of the third year, it had dropped to sf; the following year he got 1t up to 3l, and at graduation he stood thirtieth in his class.
 Mathematics is the fundamental study at the academy. In this he was not brilliant, his merit being 22s.S in a pos sible maximum of 300 In civil and mill tary engineering he scored only trfle better than he did in mathematics. Even in tactics his merit was only 76S in possible maximum of 100. His highest merit was in discipline, where he made. 1887 in possible maximum of 200. But in an institution whose discipline is cast in an iron mold, this record was not exemplary; of the T men who graduated in this class, there were 34 whose merit in discipline was higher than Pershings, and of these, 20 achieved the maximum, Spanish was Pershing's greatest stunb- ling block; in this he made only 9l5 in possible maximum of 75.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
.A PAINPRooF soLDIER

London.--Thc negro who scratched his head when hit with crowbar has. noth- ing on this British sailor, now enlisted in the Canadian army.
 He cannot feel pain, cold or heat, has no sense of taste or smell, does not know what fatigue means, and is apparently without any emotions. affections or dis likes. When his nervous system was put together these things were left out.
 He was discovered recently at a hos pital at Aldershot, where he was being treated for humps. according to Capt. F. D. Roberts, R. A. M. c.
 T myself have seen him hold burn ing taper against his naked arm for 10 or l5 seconds and then unconcernedly pick off the charred epidermis." Capt. Roberts says Elbows on the head with poker and plunging his fingers in hot water produced no effect; when lis eyes were closed he didn't even realize anything was happening.
 .Otherwise he is normal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
PROFANITY AND WAR

From the Mobile Register.
 A contemporary opens the discussion. s"Why do soldiers swear?" The subject have sworn. Jaques in All the Worlds stage.' characterizes' the soldier as being full of strange oaths." while our Uncle Toby testified that Our armies swore terribly in Flanders" Apparently they have been swearing terribly in the called upon to explain what they mean by it. Is it routine or special perform ance? Also what Is its significance?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
prcvented serious Ffre

T wish to commend my chauffeur' said Oscar Wells, president of the First National bank, flor his diligence and thoughtfulness in leaving the Country club, where he happened to be last night when a fire broke out in the garage or F. E. Ellis, on Lakeview avenue He hurried over and aroused some of the neighbors, and was the means of getting the fire department quickly started. It made a good run and thereby preyenteo what might have been much mora serious fire Mr. Ellis was away from home at the time'' C.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
uc,rs rro,n pr. Ferguson

The last letter I got from my prother' pr. Burr Ferguson. who is overseas III medical service, said Hill Ferguson. was written from Marseilles where his unit is stationed It was written before the signing of the armistice, but could read between the lines and see that he had little hope of getting into the flgnt before peace eame& He was delayed from active duty for quite while on account of his physical condition but he wrote that he was feeling fit and anxious 10 get into touch with the fighting forces
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07

die even though tho crease came out of my trousers and the shine off my foot wear.
 Jim, old sport" said I, in my best jocular manner. let's hit the road and We sure hit it some, for the, ooze came over our shoetops and trickled gently down the clocks of my new silk hose as we struck up the road looking for friendly light in some farm window. After mile or two which seemed to us a marathon we spied home end soon were knocking at the door.
 sI have never been strong on secret orders, but when I found out that the farmer was Mason I almost fell on his shoulder and wept for pure joy. and when he said, hs never yet failed to do his dead level best to help brother Mason in trouble, could have em- braced him, yes, have kissed him on each cheek like the French do to show my gratitude. Believe me, he was strong on the Masonic fraternity and proved it hy his brotherliness.
 
 He had no way to get the women folk to his house, and after consultation we went back with candles and giving ths four unhappy females our guns and our prayers. in order to make more room for them to pass a comfortable night We very generously went back to the farm house and turned in. Talk about heroines, but | I was proud of my wife. sisters and niece for without whimper they curled iup in the car and remained in it from I 3 in the afternoon until Tn the morning
  The next morning we rescued them in a farm wagon, and got several miles on tho way to London. the nearest station, and seeing d Ford communicated it and made the station just 5n time to catch the train which put us in Eufaula in time | for dinner-and it was a thankful party which sat around an old-fashioned Bar bour county Thanksgiving spread. There was ham and brown gravy. turkey and ], cranberry sauce, quail on toast, candied sweet potatoes, macaroni and every other good thing imaginable cooked by an old negro nanny. There was plum pudding,
 fruit cake. ambrosia fit for the gods- and tell 1t not in Gath.. but scuppcrnone wine Do you wonder that with all the 1 good things set before us and surrounded
 by our loved ones we soon forgot our
 bad luck on the road?
 1 F. S.-My nephew asks me to caution any one going through the Pea river section of Bullock county to walt for dry spell Yes, he got his car after four
 days but he vows 1t took nearly week
 to- get the mud off of it. The good part. 1 none of the party developed the Flu I from the exposure
 r \
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
Getting Ready for Baseball

T am glad to see that the baseball magnates are mapping out programme for a great season next spring" said Harry Jones, one of Birminghams most ardent fans" "The war overshadowed rightly even our great national sport. but now that peace is coming know of no better way for us to get rid of our pentup feelings than to go out and sit on the bleachers and root for the home team. Baseball affords many tired man a chance to relax, and offers a perennial excuse for the office boy to attend his grandmother's funeral"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
MY LITTLE WET HOME. IN I'll

MY LITTLE WET HOME. IN I'll
 TRENCH Tom Skeyhill: Songs or an Anzae Doubleday, Page & Co.
 tWritten on the firing line.) I've alittle wet home in the trench Which the rainstorms continual drench,
 Blue sky overhead,
 Mud and clay for led And the stone that we use for benc Bully beef and hard biscuits we chew. It seems years since we tasted a ste'
 Shells crackle and scare
 But no place can compare With my little wet home in the trenc Our friends in the trench allstho way Seen to know that we've come here stay:
 They rush and they sfout.
 But they can't get us out. Though there $ no dirty trick they dol They rushed us few nights ago.r> But we don't like intruders. and 10
 Some departed quite sore
 Others sleep evermore. Near my little wet home in the trend
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07

to seize his opportunity when it pre- scented itself He is. regarded as one of the most able of American army of ficers and worked his way up by sheer merit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
Wounded Men Attacked
By German Amazons

X PROPOS of. the appeals of Ger A man women to their "sistersn of the allies for modification of the armistice terms in favor of Germany, Sergt. Samuel Horrocks of Company B, Fourteenth infantry, formerly an employe of Thomas A. Edison, says women in the German army commit ted more fiendish atrocities than the men. He says he was so badly kicked by German women that he can hardly walk and carries his right arm in a sling.
 Sergeant Horrocks was wounded late in October and lay near a lieu tenant, he told New York World re- porter. "Onr boys captured two hun- dred German women in uniform. A dozen broke away from the guard and started after the wounded. Three of  them stguck the lieutenant with clubs and cut his throat. Then they came after me. The stretcher bearers re- turned and. capturing the trio, put them to death without mercy"
 Whether this story of German wom- en fighting in the ranks is credited or not, there is plenty of evidence to show that their conduct in Belgium was typical of the Hun and their treatment of helpless prisoners of war, even the wounded, who were brought into Germany, was in many instances characterized by the utmost brutality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
FINAL,
considerates in |

s-'she was at least considerates in hI refusal
 How was thatr'
 @she said she hoped we would continJ to be friends"
 And did you take her at her word
 ''No. I said our friendship could nj have ended more abruptly if she ha married me-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
NOT so COMPLIMENTARY.

NOT so COMPLIMENTARY. Thank you for your princely dona- tion," said the solicitor.
 Hold on minute" said the philan- thropist. You mean well. but I don't like the wayeyou express yourself What's wrong, sir?"
 Tn the present financial condition of most royalty, princely donation is apt to take the form. of bogus check
 ElRsT-CLAss BUTCHER. 'I don't know whether to take pork or mutton" said the housewife (Which has the most calories?"
 Neither of 'em. mum said the butch- Ter. indignantly. We don't sell spoiled meat in this place
 NARROWING REcITALs.
 "Is9it true that whisky fires mans imagination?'
 Ut is supposed to do that. up to a certain point replied MT. Jagsby, thous shtfully. .'but some of the most lurid tales I ever listened to were told by men who hadn't had drink in a4 hours and were trying to locate one in dry town"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
Paris, November 4.


 I7TlHE service of supplies, or better known as the s. o. s. of the American army in France, fs on scaler far greater than the average cit izen at home can realize
 Headquarters at Tours, about 15o miles southwest of Paris. fs in direct communi- cation by rail with all the ports at which our soldiers And supplies are iand- ed-primariiy at Brest, St. Nazaire and Bordeaux Some landings are at Havre and some at Marseilles on the Mediter- Fanean.
 From Tours, in command of Gen. James c. Harbord and a staff of all manner of experts on transportation and supplies, everything for the American army in France Is directed.
 Incidentally the work is mammoth. There are over 100000 men in our army to be supplied with everything which war requires.
 s
 Few people realize that of every hun dred men in the army only 8 do any actual fighting. It takes s5 to handle the supplies for them and transport these necessaries to the fighters. General Harbords headquarters, and the army under him, have full thou- sand miles of American built railroad trackage, besides operating many times more miles of French roads. There have been brought over and were in operation on November ?, total of 1s,e54 American cars and 127s Amer ican built locomotives. Our shops have put together these locomotives and cars, and rebuilt 25.0o0 French cars. We have now in France 61 berths- American built, in French ports. for un- loading ships. In October we unloaded from ships and transported to our SUD- ply depots 91s.4so tons of stuff for our armies. We are unloading now over 10000 tons a day.
 And, above all, within the past 30 days we have been landing new American soldier in France every eight seconds. The reader can figure this for himself. The words are General Harbord's to me. spent yesterday with him at Tours, and, with an officer of his vstaff, visited all the surrounding plants. and depots. As General Harbord expressed it, we thought we were doing a great work back in 1898 when, after weeks of strug gle, we landed 1z5Oo men in Cuba "on one afternoon here" he remarked. T witnessed s5,oOo American troops come ashore"
 On November g. Saturday, we had ss ships in French ports, disoharging. We have some 400, 900 troops back here far | behind the fighting lines handling sup plies training, constructing and doing all manner Of work to keep the boys l in the fighting lines fit for their work l We have warehouses at the supply depot at Gievre capable of handling more stuff than all the stores of Chicago. There are warehouses and depots and ice plants and coffe roasting plants and | bakeries occupying a space seven miles I long by a mile and a half wide. Eight thousand tons of beef is kept in the refrigerating plant. It is constantly be- 1 ing brought in on one side from the ports and shipped out to the front from the other side in American refrigerator 1 cars
 No such wonderful supply station ex- ists in all the world. None such was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
Kentucky General
 Governor in Prussia

A KENTUCKIAN who rose from A the ranks has been made mili- tary governor of the territory in Prus- sia occupied by American troops. His name is Brig. Gen. Preston Brown.
 Twenty-three years ago, shortly after leaving Yale, General Brown en- listed in the United States army as a private. He won his second lieuten- ancy at the outbreak of the Spanish American war. His regiment fought in the battle of SanfJuan hill, in which he won a first lieutenant's commits sion. He added to his fame in the Philippines.
 General Brown was in charge of the American command at Chateau Thier- ry and was responsible for the safe withdrawal of two French divisions. According to press reports, it was his courage and resourcefulness as lead CT which really saved Paris. He ac- quilted himself so we'll that Major General Bundy promptly recommended him for a brigadier general
 The career of General Brown offers a conspicuous example of a man who was fitted by long years of training
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
X 4

BEGINNING THE DAY--O mighty God and loving Father, we bow be- fore Thee in humility and thanks giving. We thank Thee that in Thy work of rebuilding the world Thou hast called us to a share. Awaken us and move through us that we may be worthy and strong for Thy great purposes. May we be willing in the day of Thy power. In Christ's name. Amen.---H. M. IL.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
PRIVILEGED CHARACTER.

PRIVILEGED CHARACTER, Now that your former office boy ha returned from France and gone to vol for you again, l presume he is treat9 with distinguished consideration.'
 Quite right" answered MT. Dubwaid When that youngster is telling visitI what happened at Chateau Thierry, would never forgive myself if I intel rupted him on a mere matter of bus ness" M PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
Motorman Hit by ssFiu,

T got tired waiting for Lakeview car on Thursday afternoon and concluded would get on a Highland avenue car and make the long trip to the Mountain Terrace junction." said George M. Webb, ''but as I put my foot on the front plat form steA was waved aside with the information that the car was going to the barn. I was bit provoked until I found out that the motorman had de- veloped case of flu and as no one appeared to relieve him was taking it in himself''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE @S O S" OF
 AMERICAN ARMY AND ITS GREAT WORE

[ This plant is making from discarde
 refuse more than ss,oOo.Ooo worth of god
 army supplies month. The cost doing the work has been but bit ov(
 10 per cent of the value of the produ turned out. ~
 Not far distant at Romorantin, und.
 the s. Q. S at Tours. is the second avfaI
 tion production center. a plant mo
 mammoth than that of any of the oths
 allies. The new Liberty motors and ti|
 DeFaviland fours are shipped over her concentrated in shipment and put togetlI CT. Vast machine shops and constructidI
 plants are here, many buildings near 600 feet long and 25O feet wide are Al
 steel with concrete floors. The motoll are tested out, some troublesome al building. Nearly 15,OO0 men are at worII
 The airplanes are put up here. tested op| flown and given every test and trislI
 Fifteen a day are delivered to expes flyers to ferry through the air to ti| front lines. These are planes for recol. naissance and for bombing.
 There are great earth banks betwee !, ,r,,.a. x,hora +to rlanae, y-e ,.oflaa :, tests made of the machine guns firirt between the propeller blades. It sounel like a ship. construction plant drivirS rivets-these machine gtins in actios Every gun, in It's firing, must synchroni3 with the speed of the motor operatir the propellers in order that the bullet go through without hitting the blade It Is a wonderful invention of the accui acy of gun-fire with the revolution of ] propeller. I can't explain it but sonl 800 bullets a minute go between tf blades of a propeller operating as faa as buzz fan in your office withog
 once hitting the blades of the fan And there you have it. These buS lets must hit the Hun and miss the prs peller blades: and they do it. In this plant there are some 10000 AmeV ican soldiers at work. besides many cha nese. turned over to us by the Frenca and some 800 French women who are es5 perts in putting together the wings ars the stays of airplanes. They must gS it from their knowledge of corset coI2 struction. Certain it is that they al wonders in the delicate but strong coiA struction and putting together of tlS fuselage and wings of airplanes. Of course, there is a great flyifs test field at this Romorantin plant arN planes are in the air like wild gee In migrating season. E * E With no Splfit or detrActlnS from tiK work of the British or the French. who4 works are scattered all over England arE France this American work of all kind is on mammoth scales. It is almost mof than the imagination can conceive. makes possible the tremendous drives tlf American army has made since it got inf full action. Probably when this reaches prif the war will have ended but what IN Americans have done and are doing d F
 serves to be fully known.
 All the -othef allies have done thet' full part and borne the great brunt art the great sacrifices, but I take off nj hat to the American army of supply 4 well as to the dash and bravery of tf
 army in the fighting line.
 A2-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
GOSH!

From the Jefferson County IN. Y)
 Journal.
 A band of girls. early risers and full of icy Joined the crowd Women ap- peared. some fully dressed. others with shawls over their heads,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07

ever dreamed of before this war. One
 hundred and twenty-five miles of stan
 dard gauge railroad trackage have been.
 constructed and are being used to handle
 the stuff here Tt takes 65 locomotives
 to do the work It is beehive of in-
 dustry, Yet a cavalry officer, in Col.
 c. J. Symmonds, assisted by Maj. e.
 Hammershlag of infantry, and Maj. c. C. Warner of the coast artillery looks after ! it.
 In the plant, besides the cold storage and food supplies. are the chemical war
 fare service, the gasoline and oil engi- neers, bakeries, post quartermaster, the medical supply depot, the ordnance de- pot, the Red Cross, bureau of fire pre- vention, the Young Mems Christian asso- ciation and American Library associa- tion.
 I There are some ITS warehouses besides the other buildings. There are machine 1 shops and foundries, metal and wood working shops of all kinds. Coffee is roasted and ground here to supply more than a million men a day. And 100000 I tons of coal are stored here in the open next to yards where carts and wagons and all sorts ef anirnal-drawn vehicles are stored, knocked down. l There are five gasoline tanks storing 5ooooo gallons each besides innumerable smaller tanks.
 1 Tho railroad facilities include a locomo- tive repair shop and seven classification yards. The trains are not switched into these yards, but are classified over a hump" Controlled from the hump lare two classification yards. one of 20 l tracks and the other of 15 tracks. The receiving yards for the hump consist ! of about 15 tracks
 It takes 25,0OO men to operate this great storage depot, including some 60o | or more officers. l On the outskirts so to speak, is a pris- on camp for our own United States mili- tary prisoners. They are used in the ! salvage department. They are made to do all sorts of prison work down to mak- ing soap and operating plant for sal vaging boNed commissaries for chicken feed
 This American army over here is los- ing nothing. It has the Connecticut Tan kee instinct. It wants eggs and it pre- pares chicken food. It gathers p/ev- I cry discard and converts 1t into trump card
 l It has salvage depot at Tours turn ing out 8 product worth $10000O day. I In this, $500 French women are employed. besides our own expert workmen in the army. Wounded soldiers. unfit for serv- ice, at the front, are in charge as man. agers and foremen. There are 26 offi- cers. 745 enlisted men, 7so male civilians and $500 French wonien employed.>~It has a floor space of 225.ooO square feet, l Here every discarded thing from the l men of our army is gathered up and sent for rehabilitation-old underclothing and outerclothing. shoes. rubber boots, har- ness, canvass stuff and all sorts of metal is sent. Everything is laundered and then repaired and made over or into new stuff. Shoes are made over as no ordi- nary town shop could do the work. Old clothing Is made into new. Indeed, every-s thing is repaired or made over, or con verted into something useful to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-12-07
nd s...s.s .s.s.-.'@ ',s''' < ' heJ t37uee
 ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

chickens before they are matched" "well?"
 That makes it easy to sell them phor esgs."