The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-01-24

THE f
news dispatches say the Germans hav
invented to use on the allies in tn
next offensive is grip germs instea'
of gas. If so, pity the poor allies.
Somebody got the wrong numbei
Saturday, the wrong number being
The Index office. as this the slaugh
ter house?" inquired the voice on thu
wire. "No, this is the hot air fac
tory" replied the young reporter.
One of those health news syndicate
doctors explains in his clear, convinc-
ing way, that having cold may mean
that one has loyngitis, pharyngitis
tonsilitis, influenza or coryza, and in
our own case we believe we have all
these, and in addition, helfra.
The click of the needles is heard in
the land,
Sweaters creating to beat the whole
band;
And bowls of friend husband resound
everywhere,
As he sits on the knitting that sits
on the chair.
Yes, we'll rally round the farm, boys,
Well rally once again,
Shouting the battle cry of Feed EN-.
We've got the ships and money
And the best of fighting men,
Shouting the battle cry of Feed En-.
The onion forever, the beans and the
corn,
Down with the tater-it's up the next
morn
While we rally round the pillow, boys,
And take the hoe again,
the battle cry of Feed En-.
Speaking of hard drinkers" re-
marked Old Bill Misgivens, 81 never
saw any other man who could hold so
much Intoxicating liquor as Ike Speck
noodle. Ike started in when he was
quite young drinking moderately, but
gradually increasing the dose until
ne got to the point where he could |
quart of raw liquor day. |
Then just ordinary whisky got so that
t didn't seem to have any particular
fleet and he got to mixing it with
llcohol, and to increase the general
fleet he would squirt in few squirts
# sulphuric acid Ike got so that he
vas no earthly account around
Iome. He wouldn't work and his wife
lad to support him. Naturally she
rot tired of that sort of business and
vas thinking seriously of applying for
divorce, when one day she happened
o see house fly come in range of
ke's breath. 1t fell dead right there
nd that gave Mrs. Specknoodle an
lea. One day she sat in front of
er husband and opened up on him as
ollows: Ike, you are just simply a
runken loafer. You are not only no
ccount as a provider, but you also
re a nuisance and in the way. Be-
ides in these days of high prices feed
10 you is a big expense and | don't
ropose to stand for it any longer.
'ou have either got to do something
, earn your board and clothes or |
i'll get divorce and fire you Ike
.arted to shed maudlin tears and
sked what she wished him to do.
yell,' she said, the bedbugs are get
ng mighty bad around this house.
wish you to go around blowing your
reath in the cracks and on the mat
esses and see what it will do to
lem.' 1t worked all right. Every
sdbug in the house that came in
intact with Ike's breath keeled over
I'd died Then she tried him on the
d ants and he put them out of bust
,ss. No insect could stand that
cath of Ike's. Then another happy
ought occurred to Mrs. Specknoodle.
lie rugged up wire holder on which
e could place a pan and made Ike
down with his face under the pan.
len she touched a match to his
cath and used him as an alcohol
rner for such things as she needed
r light lunch. Ike complained about
wing to lie in one position so long
lille the cooking was going on, but =
RS. Specknoodle told him it was eth /
that or he would get out and hus-
a living for himself. Ike had de-
nded on his wife so long to feed
d clothe him that he felt helpless
d agreed to stay with his job as
alcohol burner. Things were 60
2 along pretty well until one day
e sucked in his breath when it was
hted and set fire to himself inside.
e fire company made quick run
put out the fire, but not until one
his lungs was burned up entirely
about half of the other was
AIRED badly. AS result Ike died. =
the funeral Mrs. Specknoodle re- =
- N