Norwich bulletin., 1918-05-02
WHAT WAR IS DOING.

the pretty girl, as he laid aside his evening newspaper. that this house seems terribly quiet lately! Haven't you any friends that you haven't quarreled with? There ought to be a half circle of young fellows around the piano singing Annie Rooney and livening things up a bit! Whats be- come of 'em?''
 My goodness." cried the pretty girl disgustedly. Don't you know there's war taking place? There aren't any men any more!''
 fiJehoshaphat," said her father blankly. I never thounght of that! Say! That's kind of tough on you girls, isn't it?''
 The pretty. girl waved .her hands said, I'd be tongue tied if a real man ever came to call on me again.! Of course your nice middle aged friends might do to keep me in practice--aA cept that when they drop ill they get so wrought up over war boar6s and what is the country coming that don't like to disturb them. There isn't one of them who would drQp his cigar long enough to listen to my girlish chatter-and he'd be scared tc death if he did, for fear might think his intentions were serious!p
 "Well!" exploded her father, blink ing little. Where cid you set al this dope about my so-calied middle aged friends? Evans AtlIiard is { mere babe Of 3S ard the girls used tC run a. mile just to see him pass by 1 Being years older and wiser than ht was in those days, l could observe I Evans popularity without gnawins panss of jealousy. Why. the girls
 "H'm!'' commented the pretty girl I'll bet he didn't nave that. cJnnin. little bald spot or he top ot his heat 1 in those days. And l never SEW man, so fussy over his food. thought he was eoing to cali for |; surveyors outfit the other night wAel ] he was served his portion O. steal k He squared off and turned it arount and then he salted the northeas section and peppered the south western corner, after which he pu a dab of catchup in the exact cente and then leaned back i'll his chai and said Hal in a most relieved an satisfied way as though he was goin to call it a day or quit. And mothe always has to have his special brea when he's coming, and he's afraid 0 draftsi If he was inclosed in
 vacuum tube and somebody shoute
 to him that he was in draft, he
 sneeze his head off! I just can't stan a fussy man, especially when he's al ways catching cold!'
 "Well, I must say!" cried her fathe trife heatedly. You make Evan
 out a very fair old lady, and let Iii
 tell you, miss that the girl that get
 him gets something! He's well o
 and of good family and q very fas cinating man! Just because a youn snip like you with no sense can't ap
 preciate him is no sign-Humph!
 Whats the use of talking. You
 ing around! Maybe the army train
 ing willt pound some sense into 'en,
 And I'd like to know what you've gC
 against Joe Emerson He's certainl lively enough and he doesn't kno
 there's a draft on earth and he's most intelligent"
 "Oh!" moaned the pretty girl. 'M Emerson! I am so well acquainte
 with his back teeth after years { viewing his hearty, spantaneoI
 laughter that I've kind of lost il ,, terest! He's such village cutuI Some day he's going to work off loaded cigar on you and then you feel just the way I do about his baC teeth-they'll sort of pail on you! And once I got whiff of whi rose perfume! I wonder why he didr buy tuberose and be done with i
 And he wears that heavy gold watC chain across his tummy and noboC on earth wears 'em like that any nor Besides he still thinks I'm 6 years ol , Didn't he give me that box of mike hard candies Christmas? He mig as well have sent animal cracker Maybe next year hen send me a doll
 I'm ashamed of you!" said h
 father Utterly ashamed! If any
 your dude acquaintances ever grow |
 to- be as smart as Joe Emerson he e : thank his stars! Why, there are ty unmarried ladies now just breallil their necks to catch Joe Emerso ' Hump!