The Lamar register., 1918-10-23

Up in Nome there usta be fellei
we called Sky-Wolloper Tom. Ton
was the darndest Teller to talk about
himself l ever saw. There weren't nc
place on land nor sea he hadn't been;
no man small or great who hadn't
shook hands with him; no woman skin
ny or cornfed who hadn't some time
or another wanted to marry him; no
act little or big he hadn't done with
one hand tied behind him. never
known the Sky-Wolloper to work. He
had fascinating habit of hanging
around the bars getting free drinks
and feeding off 'em as liked to hear
him talk. He would grow enthusiasts
tic about how the Empress of China
fell for his handsome form when he
was over there prospecting for canned
salmon. He had a lovely story about
what the Lord High Mayor Of London
said to him when he visited England
as the guest of that guy.
Then he was elected marshal of the
burg. Most of US real fellers were
out hanging over the sluice-boxes the
day the election was pulled off cause
no advance notice was given, and darn
ed if the tenderfeet didn't elect the
sky-Wolloper.
The day after he was given his star
Sandy Mulligan and Esquimo Pete
bad ono Of thai ,,euaI ,raalyI,, CON, -
bats much to the disgust of the popu-
lace and the Sky-Wolloper stead of
doing his duty crawled under Gus
Taylor's saloon and stayed there the
rest of the day. Then Seareface Nell
broke loose on regular tear and shot
all the winders out of the front of the
Palace hotel cause she didn't like the
feed they was dishing up. The Sky
Wolloper at the first shot hit for the
trunda and was away two days.
Yellow-legged Lewis came down
from the Tanana, filled up with bum
booze and began shooting all the lights
out at the Urcada theatre. The Sky
Wolloper suddenly was SO sick he
could not move.
When Badly Wilson hit down and
allowed he would do a good job of
cleaning the place several of us found
it necessary in the interest of peace
and harmony to fracture Baldy's an
atomy so he was in the hospital for
a few weeks. The Sky-Wolloper came
around and said he would have to ar
rest us for cruel and inhuman treat
ment to stranger within our gates.
Right there was where we got sore.
The Sky-Wolloper was about as handy
as peace officer as / would be of
ficiating at a Fourth of July celebra-
ton in Berlin. That night bunch OF
us picked up the Sky-Wolloper, took
his gun and star away from him, load.
ed him in a small boat with some pro.
visions and pushed him out into the
calm but unforgiving Arctic ocean.
l never heard no more of the Sky.
Wolloper and assumed he had made
feed for some hungry whale till the
other day l got letter from one OF
my constituents in Alaska and he
said as how he had just learned the
Sky-Wolloper had been picked up BY
some ship, brought back to the state.
and was now running for governor il
some western state. He didn't say
what state.
Now, don't mean to say as how
Tom lyman and the Sky-Wolloper i.
the same feller-lest if they are the
Sky Wolloper has thickened out ar
awful lot afore and aft, and taken OF
facial expressions most unlike the lear
and hungry look of the Tom of yore
He sure does talk the same, however
The other day Tom and me butteC
together in the Albany hotel. I've me
Tom a number of times so we weren'
like strangers. Said he:
Senator" says he, 81 greatly feai
had l not built so many good road
in Colorado" says he, "the loan driv,
wouldn't have been a success" say!
he. 81 presmue," says he, 81 am tn,
most popular man in America to-day,
says he.
; His line of talk and the letter JUS
; got from Alaska recalling the Sky