Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-24
cM0RDs I'D
DISc0RDs

THE Bolsheviki leaders have reach
ed the conviction that the German mil
tary dictators are hypocrites. They
viii be calling them worse than that
before long. That term is mild.
AN Indian 100 years Of age is at
tending the Chicago automobile show
He probably would prSer horse to
the finest car at the exhibition. lie
was assigned room with a bath at
/ loop hotel and slept on the floor. He
said sleeping in bed gave him
cramps.
GUY E. Waite of Ottawa. H., doesn't
have to worry over the coal scarcity.
He has discovered a mine in the Gel
lar under his home. Property in the
neighborhood ought to be selling at a
premium. With coal as high as So
Der ton investment in nearby lot
ought to prove fairly attractive.
i THE committee on public informa--
( ton continues instructing the pa
pers on what news not to print that
helpful information might be kept
/ from the eyes of the enemy. The
smaller papers generally over the
country have been religiously obsery-
ing the rules of the voluntary censor
ship, but the larger city dailies have
not in all cases been doing so. The
government has been very patient in
dealing with these violations, but in
Justice to those papers that have been
acting square it ought to at least give
a few words of counsel to those pub
! fishers who feel that they are so big
and important as to be immune from
regulations that apply to the rank and
file.
IF Pat O'Brien had killed the kaiser
he couldn't have been more highly
honored than he was by his home town
of Momence, ILL.,, on his return there
this week from Europe, where, as Lieu
tenant O'Brien of the royal flying
corps, he escaped from his German
captors by jumping from a speeding
train. If there is anything in Mo-
mence that Pat wants he has but to
ask for it.
THE army is advertising. for bak-
ers At the same time there are a
lot Of people trying to get the head
baker of the war. department under
the rolling pin.
, A MAN who refused to meet the
, king Of England has just died in Lon
, don. He was an original cuss, at any
/ rate. The boast of many people is
) that they have been received by some
5 king or other.
: SUGARLESS days are to be next in
5 order An old poker player inquiries
to know whether that will interfere
with sweetening the kitty. We under
stand not.
AND now we must purchase Smi
lage books. They contain tickets thai
will admit soldiers to cantonment en-
. tertainments. Bought one yet?
Il AM in favor of dropping SammieS
t as name for American soldiers,
S writes L. F. Rather would l have
e them known as Slammies. Sounds
i Chinese-like, but it is more impress
d sive than the aforementioned. Samm!
I has Lizzie ring to it. On the othel
hand, Sammy means something.
hsounds as if the fellow with such {
a name at least would take wallop a
| the enemy if he got half a chance
But, in all seriousness, we ought tt
. have a dignifed and picturesque ant
ut 60 :,
a khaki. l have heard Brownies sug
Q gested. But that would not do. Wha
u shall 1t be?'
WHY DOESN'T SHE TIP HIM OFF
u Miss Olive Hope, teacher at Salem
u is home for the holidays. Miss Hop
|. saw the jackknife which a kenesh
3 man swallowed and knows all the cir
cumstances of the case. The knit
was found in his stomach and h
didn't know how it got there.-Bloom
ington (Wis.) Record
st JOHN ". Gift, Is, and Miss Ma
= Harvey, 80, have been married at PEG
e ria. He is wealthy You may or ma
n not have any comment to offer
o COLONEL Roosevelt insists that tn
d American people should know tn
It truth. All right, T. R., come fOrwar
u with it. We're steeled for almost an
s shock nowadays. So let's hear wia
IL you have on your mind Well stan
IS hitched during the recital, though
" be ever so painful
MANY of the papers are comment
1t ing considerably on a statement c
ly Secretary Baker that the war is 800
W miles away. Well, isn't it? Or is
to 3,001 miles? If the distance is in dis
IS pute there ought to be an AUTHORITATIVE
ID statement in the matter.
N
eff 1T is charged that the price {
re brooms is far higher than it Shout
u be. The manufacturers appear to h
Id attempting clean sweep during tn
OF war.
d A UNIVERSITY extension lecture
s, says there is too little love about. an
'p that we ought to love in the street
Re in the butcher shops, on railroa
N trains, etc Which moves Ignatz
ask if you ever boarded an owl ca
after dance and observed the DO,
III trying to keep the girls from gettin
IL chilled on the journey homeward. H
I'd says you will see more different hold
ct than are 10 De round at Wrestlin
n match.
is
ne 1T may interest you to learn tn,