davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Green as Grass.

II heard you had COW for SALE"
began the lady who had just moved
out from the city, land as I'm thinking
of buying one, l."
''Wait," interrupted the farmer.
''thar's that Jersey. Thar's one good
pint in her that"
"Oh, gracious! That would never
do; I'd need a quart at least" ex-
claimed the lady.-Boston Evening
Transcript,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
BOSCHEE'S GERMAN SYRUP

will quiet your cough, soothe the in
Illumination of a sore throat and lungs,
stop irritation in the bronchial tubes,
insuring a good nights rest, free from
coughing and with easy expectoration
in the morning. Made and sold in
America for ffty-two years. A Won
derful prescription, assisting Nature in
building up your general health and
throwing off the disease. Especially
useful in lung trouble, asthma, Group,
bronchitis, etc. For sale in all civil
lied countries.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
EASY MATTER TO EXPLAIN
Similarity of Spelling That Really
Looked Suspicious Quite Simple
Thing, According to Tommy.

A schoolmaster received the follow
ing note one morning from pupil:
Dear sir-Pleese eskoose little
Tommy for his absens yestiday as he
waz quite il, and the doctor tol!ed me
to kepe him in bed. So l let him stay
home, Yours resptively, Misses
Smith"
The master was trifle suspicious.
Tommy" said he, sternly, "Who
wrote that note"
"Why-er-mother did, if you
please, sir
"Well, 1 must say that some of the
spelling is remarkably like the spell
ing you generally give me-"
But Tommy was equal to the occa!
sion.
Eyes, SIR" said he, cheerily. 'Ev-
eryone says that, as far as spelling is
concerned, I'm the image of my moth
er."-London Tit-Bits!
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
KIDNEY TROUBLE Often
CAUSES SERIOUS BACKACHE

When your back aches, and your blad
der and kidneys seem to be disordered
go to your nearest drug store and get a
bottle of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root. 1t
is physicians prescription for ailments
of the kidneys and bladder.
1t has stood the test of years and has
a reputation for quickly and effectively
giving results in thousands of cases.
This preparation so very effective, has
been placed on sale everywhere. Get a
bottle, medium or large size, at your near
est druggist.
However, if you wish first to test this
preparation send ten cents to DR.. Kilmer
& Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for a sample
bottle. When writing be sure and men
ton this paper.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
The Kaiser as a Killer,

AS an exterminator of life the kaiser
stands without an equal in all history !;
being the prime instigator of the pres
ent world conflict, he is responsible
for the slaughter of millions of human
beings, and figures given by a German
forestry journal show that in 1908 he
killed nearly 1000 wild game animals.
his fetal score up to that time being
more than 61,7OO pieces of game, in
GLIDING over 1000 stags.-The Path
finder,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
a Teller of Tales,

There had never been the best of
feeling between them, and when they
collided somewhat forcibly, as they
rounded a corner, headed in opposite
directions, in a snowstorm, Smith took
the opportunity to vent his spleen.
Look here, you loafer! You cow
ardIy Stacker! Why don't you look
where you are going?"
Brown gulped, Redeemed perceptibly
and demanded:
"Who showed you my question
naire? '-Pittsburgh Sun.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
WHY Father Was Peeved.

81 don't understand why your father
has taken a sudden dislike to me. He
seemed friendly enough when I first
began to call" "Why'er-I think I can
explain it," answered Miss Peaches.
Father is naturally courteous and !
suppose he thought you would be
drafted or something before you and
discovered that we were soul
mates. "-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
His Sole Objective.

Something for you, sir?" asked the
salesman.
Certainly not!" sternly replied J.
Fuller Gloom. young man. do look
like a person who would enter a
store when he wanted something? No.
If there was something for me I would
have to be hitched to post outside
while someone else came in and pur-
chased the desired article. I am in
reality touring the country on bet
that will find a store where a turtle
headed clerk won't ask me If want
kansas City Star.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Pleasant Task,

Sweet Girl-Pa, the house next door
was robbed last night.
Pa-Mercy! Next door?
Sweet Girl-Yes, and the burglars
have been in two or three houses on
this terrace within a week.
Pal know it. 1 know it. It's ter
rible! But what can we do?
Sweet Girl was thinking it might
be a good plan for Mr.. Nicefello and
me to sit up a few nights to watch for
them.-Pearson's Weekly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
No Cause for Alarm,

"Were you frightened, my darling"
asked a doting mother of her little one
who had been lost and was found after
several hours of diligent search.
'Why, no, mamma" replied the
child, wonderingly, Il wasn't lost; it
was my home that was lost"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

We offer $4,000 for any case Of catarrh
that cannot be cured by HALLS
CATARRH MEDICINE.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE Is tax.
en- internally and acts through the Blood
on the Mucous Surfaces Of the System.
Sold by druggists for over forty years.
Price 75c. Testimonials free.
T. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Gave Him AWAY.

Willie-Say, nav, pop must tell you
lot of riddles.
His Mother-Why do you ask?
Willie-Well, I heard him tell Mr..
Jones last night that he had you guess
ing.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Soft, Clear Skins.

Night and morning battle the face
with Cuticura Soap and hot water. If
there are pimples first smear them
with Cuticura Ointment. For free sam
pies address, "Cuticura, Dept. x, Bos-
ton" Sold by druggists and by mail.
Soap %, Ointment % and 5O.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

"Most of our cities are pretty well
cleaned up now"
$50 they say"
81 was out in San Francisco recently
and they had even cleaned up the Bar
barry coast"
"Yes, the times are out of joints"
(Joints-not Jointly
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
ia Kill Dandruff |
IeSs} and Itching
IW with CutiCura
w NNYM Soap Csc. Ointment Csc & Soc
That Old Guy.

alive ruralist, was appearing in suit
brought by her husband. She insisted
on loudly commenting on each answer
given by the first witness. Repeatedly
the judge requested her to keep quiet,
but she persisted in audibly disputing
the words of the witness. Finally the
judge said:
"Mrs. Carico, the court demands that
you remain quiet. Unless you do so
you will be held in contempt
Giving the judge a savage look, the
woman turned to her attorney and in
quired:
"Who is that old guy that's buttin' in
all the time?"-Harper's Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Advice.

"NIy son, it is easy enough to be ii
promins young man."
Yes, father"
But the trick in life is not to prom
Use, but to perform"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

The tusks of the COW elephant. have
been found best adapted to the max
ing of billiard balls.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
That Kind,

did you come across many fine
building in your automobile tourT
did we? Struck every police court
on the route"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
A NERVOUS
= BREAKDOWN / Al
Miss Kelly Tells How Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound Restered ;
Her Health.
Newark, N. J.-"For about three
years I suffered from nervous break. :,

GOWN ana got SO
weak / could hardly
stand, and adhead-
aches every day. I
tried everything I
could think of and
was under a ply
sician's care for two
years. A girl friend
had used Lydia E.
Pinkh ANS Vege-
table Cornpoundand
she told me about
it. From the first
day I took it'll began
to feel better and
now / am well and
able to do most any
kin d of work. I
have been recon-
the Com.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

DR.. Pierce's Pellets are best for liver,
bowels and stomach. One little Pellet
for a laxative, three for a cathartic. Ad.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

pound ever since and give you my per-
mission to publish this letter:" miss
FLO KELLY, 476 So. 18th ST., Newark,
N. ].
The reason this famous root and herb
remedy, Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, was so successful in Miss
Kelly's case was because it went to the
root of her trouble, restored her to a
normal healthy condition and as a result
her nervousness disappeared.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

The prodfgal son gets the fatted veal,
but the prodigal daughter is lucky If
she gets plate of cold hash.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Honesty is the best policy for the
man who can't steal enough to pay a
good lawyer.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
A Different Matter.

Oke-"You're paying too much rent,
old man." Owens-"You mean the
rent is too high."-Boston Transcript.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Nearly all of the principal cities Of
England have pOlicewomen.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

If your eyes smart or feel scalded. Ro-
man Eye Balsam applied upon going to bed
is lust the thing to relieve them. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Garfield Tea is Natures laxative and
blood purifier; 1t overcomes constipation
and it's many attendant ailments. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
According to REPORTS,

She( sighing)-"Somewhere the sun
is shining" He-"That can't refer to
Somewhere in France"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

To restore a normal action to Liver,
Kidneys, Stomach and Bowels, take Gar
field Tea, the mild herb laxative. All
druggists. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

A walking stick has been invented
that can be converted into a camera
tripod.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

last survivor of Perry's expedition to
Japan.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Got Even.

One bottle Of DR.. Peerys Dead Shot"
will save you money, time, anxiety and
health. One dose sufficient, without Castor
Oil in addition. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Chicago magistrates are now send
ing auto thieves to prison for limit
terms.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

The Cupboard was Bare.
"Who was old Mother Hubbard?"
"The discoverer of the first meatless
day."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

1t takes Congress to settle a strike, but
an unruly stomach is subdued by Garfield
Tea. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Owing to the disappearance of near.
ly all gold and silver, Portugal is on
a paper basis.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

But the best airship on earth may
be good in the air.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Full sunlight is estimated to be 60O,-
600 times brighter than full moonlight.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Choice of Evils.

CHOICE or Evils.
"Why do you let your wife rule the
house?" Because if l didn't let her
reign she'd storm"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Human nature-to applaud the big
CRATER and frown on the little one
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Hull, England, in 1916 imported
9,130 tons of hemp.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Took the Right Train.

"He came home on a freight train"
''What was his hurry ?"-Buffalo Ex-
press.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
Innortant 70 Mothera

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, that famous old remedy
for infants and children, and see that it
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Report never does a wise man harm
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29
FRECKLES

Now Is the lime to yet KID OF these Ugly spots
There's no longer the slightest need of
feeling ashamed of your freckles as the pre-
scription othine-double Strengths guar
anteed to remove these homely spots.
Simply get an ounce of othine-double
strength--from your druggist, and apply a
little of 1t night and morning and you should
soon see that even the worst freckes have
begun to disappear, while the lighter ones
have vanished entirely. 1t is seldom that
more than one ounce is needed to completely
clear the skin and gain beautiful clear
complexion
Be sure to ask for the double strength 9TH
3ne as this is sold under guarantee of money
back II it fails to remove freckles.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Ignorance may be bliss, but there is
a lot of bliss that isn't ignorance.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Win the War by Preparing the Land
Sowing the Seed and Producing Bigger Crops
Work Joint Effort the Soil of the United States and Canada
COOPERATIVE
The Food Controllers the United States and Canada asking for
food production Scarcely 100 900 bushels of avail
able be the allies before
efforts of the United States and Canada the burden supply
Every Available Table Acre Must Contribute; Every Available
Farmer and Farm Hand Must Assist
Western Canada has be seeded
Short and appeal the United States allies
ing operation.
canadas Wheat Production Last Year 225 900 Buse the
Demand From Canada Alone for 1913 Is 400 900 Bushels
To this she have She has the land but needs
the The Government of the United States who
effectively help do farm work this the land the United
States developed first of but help Canada When
find Canadas fields after supplied
w direct him there.
Apply Employment Service and will tell where you
best the combined interests
Western Canada help will be not later than April 5 Wages
competent help $50 90 month and board and lodging
Those who respond this will welcome good wages
good board and find comfortable homes They will
mile from Canadian boundary points destination and
For particulars and places where employment be had
apply u S. EMPLOYMENT SERVICE DEPARTMENT OF LABOR
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

WlRTED Stamps on envelopes before 1880; Search
WAN garrets, trunks. Send registered for cash.
OF write VIM. Cornell, Hodges Bldg, Detroit, Mich.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Send for Free Samples-+Cold Cream, Corn Cure
Foot Ease, Mentholiie. Pile Cure. Laboratories
Cornell Company, Inc. 1t, Great Darlington, Mass
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

ARCADIA donng a u a6o eiamp acres
monthly Agents wanted. o. STEVENSON Arcadia Fla.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-03-29

Coffee Substitute, Cereal Coffee, make tea double
strength 0c gets ali three formulas worth dollars.
LUNDBERG COMPANY, Box 1858, Pittsburgh, Pa.
Evening star., 1918-03-31

for me, Robert; two. at least. I need
them at once"
Might ask, Miss Jane" says he.
eff any particular qualifications
What 1 would like" breaks in. Miss
German, would be two active, intelli-
gent young men with. some initiative
and executive ability. You see, I am
giving going away dinner for some
soldiers of the Rainbow Division who
are about to be sent to the transports.
It's an official secret, of course. No one
is supposed to know that they are go
ing to sail soon, but every one does
know. None of their friends or rela-
tives are to be allowed to be there to
wish them God-speed or anything like
that. and they need cheering up just
now. So I arrange one of these dinners
when can Ny plans for this one. how
81 see." says Mr.. Robert. And it's
perfectly bully of you. Miss Jane. Splen-
did! I suppose there'll be hundred
or So"
six eighty" says she. never battin'
an eye. I'VE are not including the Off
cers-only privates. And we don't want
one of them to lift finger for it.
They've had enough fatigue duty. This
timA they're to be guests-honored
guests. I have permission from the
brigadier in command. We are to have
one of the mess halls for a whole day
The chef and walters have been en-
gagged. too. And an orchestra. But
there'll be SO many to manage-the
telling of who to go where, and seeing
Evening star., 1918-03-31
ACID MANUFACTURED
ON A GREAT SCALE

IT. HE United States. under the stress
Of war demands. has become the
great producer of sulpburic acid. which
is one of the important handmaidens
of industry. This Is one Of the devel-
opments of the war which will stand
the United States in good stead when
peace returns. 1t is a chemical product
on which the art of war and many OF
the arts of peace depend. 1t is essen
tial in the making of smokeless powder
and in the manufacture Of fertilizer
that is efficacious in many soils and for
sundry crops
Most of the sulphuric acid manufac-
tured in the United States prior to the
war was made from Spanish pyrites.
but the pyrites deposits of the United
States, some of which lie near WASH
ington, on Quantico creek, have been
and new sources of sulphur have been
developed. Many of the American
plants have been made over in order to
permit the burning of domestic sulphur
or birthstone"
Sulphuric aci6fSlong went under the
name of oil of vitriol and was the dis
covery of one Basil valentine, toward
the close of the fifteenth century. 1t
ton of dried sulphate of iron. called
green vitriol, whence the corrosive
liquid which came over in the distilla-
ton and having an oliy conslStence
was called oil of vitriol
Pure sulphuric acid is a dense: oily:
colorless fluid, exceedingly acid and
corrsive, decomposing all animal and
vegetable Substances ~ the AIR OF heat.
It has very great affinity for water and
unites with it in every proportion, pro-
ducing great heat, and it attracts mois.
tare sgl lo.Iz.y iIo:1 tile atmosphere, be-
coming rapidly weaker il exposed. The
uses Of sulphuric acid to the chemist
are innumerable. 1t is written Of IL
that "of all the acids, the sulphuric is
the. most used in the arts. and It is. in
fact, the primary agent for obtaining
almost all the others by disengagipg
them from the saline combinations"
Evening star., 1918-03-31

other thing, I've always taken lot OF
comfort in this thought-that if all the
rest of these poets who are working
overtime to keep their names in the
write their poetry for them, the way
they say you and did, they'd have had
some chance to be as great as you and
l are. Think. Honey, how delightfully."-
interesting the writings of Dr. johnson
would have been if anybody but John
son had written them!"
by Joye, Cromwell" laughed Wei
lington as Johnson seized his cane and
shook it with apoplectic vigor at Shake
Speare, how fine it would have been il
for Il scrap as these literary fellers are
when they get together. l never knew
anything this side, of Kilkenny with her
cats to equal them for sheer innate pug
nacity of spirit If it could only be di-
rected to some good purpose. shedding
the blood of iniquity instead of the ink
of proliNity. what a noble army of un-
conquerabie warriors we should have. :.
Xxx
"All right" said Shakespeare. "Sneer
away, wellington. But you real war
rors couldn't get along without US. just
the same. Take the case of Ulysses
over there. or those of Achilles, or Cae-
sar, or Napoleon. or Alexander, or any
of the rest of you historical Jack John
sons-what would have become of the
swashbuckling bunch if it hadn't been
for us poets? Who'd ever have cared a
hoot for Henry the Fifth if l hadn't pu.
him on the map with my play?> Who'd
have known anything about Richard the
Third wanting to swap his kingdom for a
horse if it hadn't been for me?"
Sure thing said Macaulay "And
take the case Of Horatius at the bridge
Why, if it hadn't been for that little
lay of ancient Rome of mine the pub
lie wouldn't have known whether II
was the Brooklyn bridge or the grand
slam that made him famous. II Hec-
tor is alive today. it Is only because
Homer and Virgil embalmed the old
boy I'M imperishable verse. So you
fghtinE men needn't get gay with US
and try to wipe out the poets corner
as a non-essentiel industry
.Righto. said Wordsworth. gently
Evening star., 1918-03-31

Say that, when enlisted in noble cause,
l am miserable shirker"
'fndeed shouldn't believe word Of it.
even if I had time to listen to him. de-
clares Miss Jane. "And l must be at the
camp within an hour. I shall need one of
you young men now Let me see. Suppose
/ take this one-Torchy. isn't it? Get
your coat I'll not promise to have you
back for dinner. but I'll try. Thank you
so much, Robert
And then it was case of goin' on from
there. Whew! I've sort Of had the notion
now and then, when I've been operatin'
with Old Hickory Ellins at the Corrugated
Trust on busy days, that was some rapid
fire private sec. But, say, havin' followed
Miss Jane German through them dinner
preliminaries. know better.
While that French chauffeur of hers is
rollin' us down Long Island at from forty
to fifty miles per hour, she has her note
book out and is pumpin me full of things
I'm expected to remember-what train the
chefs gang is comm on, how the supplies
are to be carted over. who to see about