davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Famous Women
Sarah Joseph Hale.

Sarah. Joseph Hale. the author OF
the first version OF .Marv's lamb
was born In Newport. N. H.. $50 years
ago tomorrow. It was while she was
editor of a woman's magazine that
Mrs. Hale wrote the immortal lines
beginning MARY had a little lamb"
Mrs. Hale. besides having been a pf-
oneer in the field of feminine Journal
ism, was an early and influential adj
vocate of higher education for women
She was the mother of Thanksgiving
Day as a national holiday In the Unit
ed States. For more than twenty
years she steadily advocated the cele-
bratfon of such a festival ard IN
President lincoln established
this holiday Mrs. Hale died In Phila-
deInhfa In 1879.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

NEW York Telegraph

1NC% 1VAA
A mighty suffragette with a mole on
her chin. from which protruded Il few
struggling g.ay Pairs. was delivering
a harangue en- one of ou~ street corr
ners tho 9th err day, n spled a NAV
standing nearby whom h suspected
of having sneered at some of her re-
marks. The s~uffragette In question
Immediately few into a rage and,
pointing her finger menacingly at the
supposed offender, roarded in a more
or less masculine tone:
why aren't you in the army?"
For III same reason. my good
woman. h you're not In Ziegfetd's
Fo1lies. I'm physically unfit" retort-
ed the brute.
wuhi
There was a -oung woman anne
Who was chased by a large dog named
Towser.
She gave him a race.
But he gave up the chase
When he tore a large hole in her
stocking.
Billie Wood.
Oil
Miss lima Kuhn. of Dry Ridge. KY,
isn't ANYTHING of h kind. She's a
white girl.
III feel like taking German Gas, or
catching Spanish Flu.
The Board of Health has closed the
shows and I've a pass for two.
Sad.
Ho. Hum!
what's the use of going over to
Francet The price of edible snafIs
has just gone up from $40 a thousand
to SIS a thousand.
HooraY!
Far be Il from us to intimate that
Safety Director James. OF Dayton,
Ohio. is fixing his political fences
We merely wish to announce that
John Cedar Post has Just been ap-
pointed a Sergeant OF Police in that
city.
All women puzzle me. The dears
Are gigg1ingsome and ffrty;
But 1t takes them just 40 years
To reach the of thirty.
Luke McLuke
Our principles 'twould surely Jar
To be q scandal monger:
And yet. the faster the dears are,
It takes them that much longer.
Newark Advocate.
Names Is Nanea.
Tina FflIev lives In Horsey. W. VA.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Daily Horoscope

Copyright, 1918. by the Mcclure
NeMSpaper Syndicafe

Copyright. 1918. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.l
Saturn. the Sun and Mercury are all
in benefc aspect. according to astrof
ogy. Uranus Is family adverse.
During this sway there should b.
most encouraging news concerning
the war and general assurance of ma
tional good fortune.
1t Is a time when unity among lead
ers of public thought and action
should be closer than ever before, a.
the stars presage some event that will
draw distinguished men together IN
harmonious action.
For political candidates this govern
ment of the stars should be particular
iy stimulating ~presagfng strong sup
port in quarters where help means
much.
The day Is favorable for all who
seek employment or promotion and
seem to promise C especially
for those who write or are engaged
in publicity.
Newspaper publishers and editors
should prosper during this direction
of the planets. There will be many
changes among p~roprietors of perfodf
calls and publishing houses
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes
The Pc ee Campaign.

The allies victories increase. and Kaiser BIZ will talk OF
the boon he's longing for: and spInless delegates will say. why
let Wilhelm have his way. and end this beasuy war;" Oh. yes LET'S
put away guns, and sit and gossip with the Huns untlt bev ref
their breath. when. with hei energy restored, they'll usher I'm. with
brand and sword. a new crusade of death. By all means let NJ nee
half way the Teut who has SOME things Il a of armktfce ana truce
let u forget how he has lied (there Is n O truth beneath his hlde,
and turn some twaddle loose. Let u . forget the Prussian's crimes
which, have. in all historic times. % parallel. a lei and talk OF
peace and kindred boons. and Hverwurst and beer and prunes un
til we're ricked again We've seen the package Russia ROT when
she gave ear to German rot and banked on German lies: ana we
should do 5 Russia did. and In the ditch Ike Russia skid-it would
be and wise. But II will be a little while before the Tents m
trancing smile can put US In q trance; some German towns wen have
to strike and show the folks what wars 80 - Srnor~ n towns ~
France Wen have to show the placid Fritz how scenery is blown to
bits by modern allied guns: down German roads we1f have 10 wen
and stand the river Rhine o end, and grieve a lot OF Huns
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
That Dying Expressior

Where did you get hat collection
of hopeless-looking. miserable faces
you use In the Before Taking pictures
in your advertisements" we k the
Patent Medicine Man.
"Oh," was the reply, those are
snapshots taken in Cincinnati the day
after Ohio went dry"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Fire Alarm Boxes

a3-Raritan Copper Works.
24-Market and Sheridan Streeta.
26-Smith Street and Central r.. n
2e-Market and First Streets.
97-Madfson Ave. and Patterson ST.
2S-High and Lewis StreetA
ss-Smfth and High Streets
aS-Sew Erunswfck Ave. and New St
a1-Smith and State Streets
42EA.iaEttc Terra Gotta Works.
43-Buckfngham Ave And Hartford st
4S-Commerce and Front Strsets
4d-State and Washington Sta
47-High and Washington Streets.
b4-State st and Buckingham Ave.
k6-Parker 81. and Pulaski we.
Sf-Ha1l Ave. and Charles St
kT-State and Wayne Streets
gs-Near United cad Works
5gEMaureK.
63-Washfngton and First Streets
63-N4r Brunswick v and Elm 81
a@Smfth Street and Watson Ave.
e6-Commerce and State Streets
TEFront and Smith Streets
7s-Wgter and Gordon Street2
T4-Kearny Ave. n Gordon Street.
8l-Rraca and Hanaon AvenueA
Sz-Smfth and Herbert Sfreets-
STANDBY Arc and Washing ton st.
sl-Lehfgh Ave. n Stanford Stree
S5-Near City Hospital
8s-ClevsIand = Brace
41-AmhuY and Haul Avenues
aa-Amhov Ave- ana TnsIee Stree
13-IAwrenco and Francis Strsofn-
B4-Nevft1e and Johnstora Streets-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

'They tell me that there are more'n
a hundred men In New York city who
have more'n a million dollars each,'
said 81 Meddergrass.
Well aid 81 Humdinger. who had
recently returned from a trip to New
York. they couldn't have 1t in a place
where they would need 1t more"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

IT have discovered perpetual mo-
tion," said Mr.. Gabb.
Pooh. poohi" replied Mr.. Nayeor.
There amt, chi" insisted Mr..
."Tehre ANTI, chi" Insisted Mr..
Gabb. well. any time you think
there amt just come to my house and
watch my wife's jaw"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Bangt

"oh, yes" smiled Undertaken Bree,
"Our busy season now commences;
| For hunters will insist. you see,
On dragging guns through barb
wire fences"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Sound.

I made a sound Investment. Bless
Your heart. you shouldn't laugh!
I made a sound Investment. yes,
I bought a'phonograph.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

A young fellow named Henry Hen
and a grass widow named Mrs. Peck
were married in Oregon last week.
Nuf ced.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

While peace talks splitting.
Use your guns,
And keep on killing
Filthy Huns.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Fooeyi

I heard q Sweet Thing gently say
To mean old Grocer Blee;
"Theose eggs you sold me yesterday
Were rather elderly"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Daily SDeciaI,


II You Run to Meet Trouble You'll
Be Kept Busy Running.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23
Bits Of By-Play

BY u McLUKE.
Copyright 1915, the Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

Our principles 'twould surely jar
To be a scandal monger:
And yet. the faster the dears are.
II takes them that much longer.
Newark Advocate.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-10-23

All women puzzle me. The dears
Are gigg1ingsome and hfrty;
But 1t takes them just 40 years
To reach the OF thirty.
Luke McLuk
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
WHAT SAM THINKS.

Samuel G. Iverson, former state auditor is
serving with the 92nd division of the United
States army in France. In letter to John E.
Diamond of Minneapolis Lieutenant Iverson pays
his respects to the home Copperheads. He writes:
There is no room in the United States for the
pro-Huns. The Stars and Stripes are not safe
with them. "Old Glory" will rebel and refuse to
shelter disloyalists. They should be banished to
the land of their friends. The sacrifice being
made by the people of the allied countries here
and the mobilization of the majestic resources
of the United States, with keen sacrifice at home
to save the world from its greatest menace of all
history, will some day arouse the people to de-
mand roll call Of loyal and disloyal and then
some action taken.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

It is all right to conserve gasoline but while
the automobile is under more or less supervision
it would be well not to forget the ordinary horse
drawn vehicle, the operator of which, seemingly,
cannot be made to observe the law in the matter
Of showing light by night. There is no such
shortage in kerosene as to afford him excuse for
importing traffic on dark road. Park police
men, city policemen, and town and county consta-
bles might do worse than sing, within the hearing
Of drivers of lampless vehicles at night, to we'll
known patriotic tune, whenever occasion arises
some such refrain as:
On the road sojourning,
Going or returning,
This you should be learning
Wherever you may roam
To avoid all mourning,
Satisfy our yearning,
Keep your tail lights burning
Till you get back home
Christian ScienceMonitor
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
THE REDWOOD GAZETTE, REDWOOD FALLS MINNESOTA

solder has accomplished ana 5G~ $780, .
that have taken place, his species will undoubt-
eddy have disappeared entirely from the County's
map.
Stand back of the FOURTH LIBERTY LOAN
BOND COMMITTEES! Make it feel that its work
is yours! Buy your bonds in the spirit and with
the eagerness- of the true American citizen who
is will ing to back to the limit in this big game
is wllingsto back the boys to the limit in this big
game of teaching humanism toWihelm and his
men,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
THE FAIR is COMING

UR Fair yours and mine and everybody's
is just around the corner and some morning
we are all going to find out that while we
were asleep it arrived and the annual good time
is right in our midst. The dates are September
"a, rs, &c, and II with the good old evening en-
tertainments thrown in for good measure. We
are very fond of the Redwood County Fair; if
we could keep only one annual institution for the
County we should most certainly cast our vote
for the Fair. 1t is such good chance to meet
each other once more, to talk over all the things
we have done and mean to d. to see what pro-
gress our neighbors have made to make plans
for the coming year and get altogether the signs
of what corking good old county this is.
So long as it is our fair and we each enjoy it in
this wholesale fashion, it behooves each and every
one of us to do his bit toward making it a. sue
cess. The Board of Directors are doing unlimited
work, taking time from their own private affairs
to do it and it is up to every resident of the
ty to cooperate They are dandy bunch Of fell
lows and each one of them is as efficient as the
past years of experience and thoughtful work
could possibly make them.
BUT THEY CAN NOT DO 1T ALONE.
Unless the farmers bring in the exhibits, I'M
less the towns people help in every way they are
called upon to help, and unless we are all there
when it comes to paying gate receipts, the fair
is bound to be failure. It never has been that
dreadful thing, and certainly this year of all
years when the fair is needed if it ever was, for
very obvious reasons, it is not going to fail
But it is up to US as individuals to put it over.
So let's get out and get to work. It's going to be
a splendid fair the same as all the others have
been. We hope to see you at it four days and
three evenings. NJ
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
THE FAIR WAY.

- He fairest and most just thing about the
Liberty Loan sale which is 80 just and fair
a in its entirety, is the allotment system OF
apportioning the amounts citizens shall buy.
America adopted the selective draft system be
cause it was the fair way to raise the vast army
needed. The volunteer system would have raised
the troops but in the end it might not have
yielded enough and it would certainly would have
left thousands at home who should have been
in the army, just as it would have taken thou
sands Of men who should remain at home for the
sake Of their families and war-essential industries.
Just so FAIR is the allotment system Of bond
purchases each man his deserved share
Of the immense total to carry, rendering it mpos-
sible for the shifty one to put his burden onto
shoulders already overburdened. Bond buyers are
selective just as much as the men in the service,
and to try to belittle the duty each is called to
do, or to try to evade that duty is slackerism for
which there is even less justification than there is
for hesitancy to join the army.
Today at Wabasso a company Of the most re-
preventative men Of Redwood County is discuss
ing with view to absolute fairness and justice
to all, and incidentally with malice towards none
but he who seeks to evade, the amount which Red
wood County will need in the coming bond sale,
just what is the share Of each property holder and
wage Garner, and the best method of procedure
in the sale which starts Saturday. September %.
glance at the names of these men will show us
that the State Central Committee by whom they
are chosen, has chosen wisely, and that they may
safely be trusted to do the ultimate best for the
County and its individual residents
The only fellow who will not approve Of these
men is the fellow who isn't hundred per cent
er, who is not willing to back the government
with his purse, the fellow who is seeking any and
every opportunity to let the loyal member Of ths
team pull the entire load. The last Third Liberty
Bond sale proves that Redwood County at that
time had very few Of such men within her borders
and by this time in the face Of all the American
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
A CHAMPION ARMY.

If there ever was better, healthier, scrappier
army than the over three millions we have
under arms, history has failed to record the same
They are the cream of the United States, but
there are as many more and many more of the
came caliber left for Uncle Sam to call if he needs
them. saltwater Gazette.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
PUNISH THE MURDERERs FIRST

The talk Of calling for a peace pact when the
baby-killing Huns run themselves out Of France
and Belgium is the silliest kind Of rot After the
Huns are completely and everlastingly crushed
out and the Meless bodies Of Kaiser Wilhelm and
his murderers are dangling from a common scat
fold, then will it be time enough to talk about
peace-Mankato Free Press
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
GET IN AND HIT.

There should be no "age limit" Each man of
US should register, Each Of us. no matter what
our physical condition, and the QUESTIONABLE
should read-"What can you do?" And then
when Uncle Sam says to us-"Do it" let as have
the twists taken out of our suspenders and be
ready to hop to it. There are tons Of latent ener-
gy going to waste right here in Ely that should be
Communicated by our very respectable Uncle
Sam.-Ely Miner.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

A German soldier writes his brother that he is
only interested in knowing whether the Germans
can hang on through the winter or not; that
next spring will surely clean them up. If that is
the situation it would seem that somebody should
slip the German the bit of advice that now is an
awfully good quitting time.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

A prayer that God will help the boys over there
is heaps more effective if we've done little to.
wards helping them ourselves in several Of the
various ways that constantly offering. There
is no use in asking God to shoulder our respon-
sibilities. He has plenty Of His own just at pre-
sent.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18th, 1918.

UNSEXED
dedicated to Max. Johnon.)
It doesn't unsex her to toll in factory,
Winding the looms from the dawn till the night
To deal with schoolful of children refractory
Doesn't unsex her in anyones sight.
Work in a store when her back aches inhumanly
Doesn't unsex her at all, you will note,
But think how exceedingly rough and unwomanly
Woman would be if she happened to vote.
To sweat in a laundry that's torrid and torrider
Doesn't subtract from her womanly charm;
And scrubbing the flags in an echoing corridor
Doesn't unsex her-so where is the harm?
It doesn't unsex her to nurse US with bravery,
Losing deaths hand from it's grip on the throat;
But, ali! how the voices grow quivery quavery,
Wailing "Alas, twill unsex her to vote"
She's feminine still when she juggles the crockery
Bringing you blithely the order you give;
Toll in sweatshop where life is mockery
Just for the pittance on which she can live
That doesn't seem to unsex her particle.
Labor is noble"-so somebody wrote
But ballots are known as dangerous article,
Woman's unsexed if you give her the vote!
-Berton Braley in Golfers
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

Last week was such pleasant week! We had
only ten people say to Us eve are called on to do
so many things and give money for SO many eau
ses that really haven't time money to do
anything more" Usually the numebr is much
larger. We repeat that last week was a very
pleasant week.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

According to press dispatches from Hague the
Germans are now building system of trenches
along the Dutch-Belgian frontier, said trench
facing inward so that the Germans soldiers may
not escape into Holland And $500 Hun soldiers
who were home on leave refused to return to the
battle line. Both facts speak for themselves
and prove that now is the psychological moment
for America to hammer away as she never ham
mered before. incidentally if there is any effec-
tive way assisting the government in the ham,
mering process than by purchasing Liberty Bonds
we are just enough from Missouri to have to be
convinced.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
SMALL TOWN TALK

Charlie Lindberg has Off-Again On-Again Fin
egan skun a mile by the way he has hoped on
and hoped off Of the War Industries work.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
AND THEY'LL NEED IT.

It the Germans don't fight any better at the
Rhine than they did at the Marine, Germany will
soon need new national song.
-Winona Independent.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18
AN INTERESTING PROBLEM.

It we ever get to France we are going to try
to find out how the kaiser gets that tin hat on
over his horns. -Baudette Region.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

The Kaiser says he has cleft no stone unturned
to win the war;. That is falsehood! If he would
just overturn his monument in the Royal Gene
terry and crawl under it, peace would come in
short order.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

We just know we are going to rise up some day
and say lot of mean things about that word
"Farmerettes". Of all the insipid, contempt-in
spring, backboneless names to be applied to a
perfectly splendid group Of women-(if we don't
look out we'll be saying it all now.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

We just want to say in passing that Father on
the rear OF the Minneapolis Journal is being
brought up mighty bad these days.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

Harry West of the Morgan Messenger has in
stalled linotype in his office, hoping thereby
to solve some of the short help problems which
beset every newspaper publisher these days. Har-
ry has always shown the rest of US county editors
several things about getting out real country
paper and we prophecy that with this modern type
setting device at his elbow he is going to show
lot more. But he's got trouble or two ahead
of him too, if he endeavors to show that machine
that he and not it, is the boss Of the establishment
The bed of the linotypist has thorns just about
as thick as it's roses-until the animal becomes
office broke.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

DR.. Fritche of New Ulm must now stand trial
or the Brown-Redwood Medical Association be
expelled from the State Medical Association
These New Ulm citizens who had good time in
the summer of 1917 are now reaping the whirl-
wind.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

"Glass Eye Making Is Woman's Task" says a
headline. Some women have been known to make
black eyes and others sheep eyes.".Joe Rey-
nolds.
YAH Joe! But it takes man to make goo-goo
eyes and some of the "old uns" are past masters
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1918-09-18

"A marriage license was issued Wednesday to
Robert R. Wiedow and young people Of Lake Belt
township.-Frank Day.
Frank, we are sorry to see you give this pro-
miscuous sort of marrying any publicity what
ever! If young man can't confine his marriage
license to one particular girl he is not entitled to
having his name in the scrupulous Fairmont Sem
tinel.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1918-12-04
WELL ATTENDED
M'CABESESSI0N
is INSPIRATION
Bishop r. J. Cooke Makes Fore
ible Address Tracing Chain
of Events
TWO BIG TALKS TONIGHT

The meeting at the Methodist
church last night was we'll attended
and exceedingly instructive and inspir-
ational. Bishop r. ]. Cooke. D. d.,
made the opening address. In a very
forcible manner the bishop shove cd
that the chain of events during the
world war pointed to prOvidential
hand that had reversed the expecta-
tons Of the enemies OF justice and
brotherhood. Man may have propos-
ed but God had disposed. On the very
soil and in the halls where German
tyranny once ruled supreme, Today her
victims are liberated and debating
terms of peace. The bishop is most
eloquent speaker and is peculiarly
happy in the discussion Of world PROB
lens.
DR.. George Mecklenb berg, who is the
director Of the work of this area af-
ter describing the plan-of work that
will be followed both in the conven-
ton that is on and the district later,
was followed by DR.. II. H. Frost, pas
tor of the First Methodist church OF
Fargo. DR.. Frost's address was illus
trated by a series of stereopticon
slides, showing something OF the
greatness as we'll as the diversity Of
the task that is before the church.
The keynote of the Centenary Move
ment is Every Christian enlisted In
Christian service for the world"
The sessions Of today are given ov-
err to a discussion of 'The Why and
The How of the campaign. Tonight
the public as we'll as visiting dele
gates are promised two splendid adj
dresses by DR.. c. E. Powell OF India
and the Rev. H. B. ojhnson, superin-
tendent Of Japanese work on the Pa
cific coast. No admission is charged
and no emphasis of finance other
than the receiving of voluntary Of
fering to be APPLIED on the local ex-
pense No obliagtion for the work
ers is involved in this. Everyone will
be welcome at all sessions The hour
tonight Is 1880 prompt.