The Washington herald., 1918-01-16

AILeT Ine TdDDlI. "nen at ldSI HIS
master overlook him he found him
barking at hole where he had treed
a field mouse. ..
There are multitudes of people
started on a royal run and they have
] compromised on "a rat; started for
heaven, compromised on a bottle of
beer; started for glory, compromised
on some trifling institution that caus-
ed you to lose your vision of God and
Of his truth.
Four things man must learn to do,
II he would make his record true,
First, to think without confusion,
clearly.
To love his fellow man sincerely.
| To act from honest motive purely,
To trust in God and heaven surely.
Advice to Square Pegs.
II a man finds himself falling in
one line of business he will be
wise If he quits it and goes into
another that he can make a sue
! cess of.
Religion is not for time, not for
| money. it is not for business. it is
not for society. it is not for poll
| tics. 1t is for God, it is for life
| worse; to be carefully considered
before you can take a step and set
your face like a flint and never de-
yiate from the path that God lays
down for you to walk in. 1t will
end in apostasy if you don't return.
Peter denied Jesus; he returned
| with tears of repentance. Old Judas
| denied Him and he went out and
committed suicide, and he died an
| apostate. They both denied Jesus,
but one came back and the other
| didn't
Down in North Carolina sometime
ago an old fellow went out and
caught seventeen fine brook trout.
He brought them home and cleaned
them and his wife said,
You'd better take them up to
town to the preacher, he's got some
/ friends visiting him and he's got a
big family himself"
swapped Fish
So they put a little salt on them
and wrapped them all up, put them
in basket and he started to town
to give them to the preacher. On
the way he stopped at a little coun-
I try grocery store to buy some gro-
ceries, and a little country black
smith shop to get his old mare shod
and was telling about it. And the
grocer's boy went out and took the
| speckled trout out/of the basket
| and put them in the ice box, and he
wrapped up a piece of rotten cod
fish and put that in the basket The
| fellow ordered some groceries and
| drove on and when he got to the
preachers house he got out and got
his basket, walked in and said:
Il went out and caught seven
| teen of the finest speckled trout
ever cleaned. 1 heard you were
having some company SO I brought
them in to you"
Then he took the fish out of the
basket. and when the women got a
Whit OF it they grabbed their noses
and beat it for the door, and he
said:
Maria is losing her mind. She
put that Goldfish is there instead of
the fish"
And so he took IT, put It in
! the basket and started back. On his
way back he stopped at the grocery
store in order TO get the groceries he
had ordered on the way up. The fel-
| low noticed something was wrong and
said, What is the matter, Jack?"
| OH Maria is losing her mind, I
tell you she is going crazy!"
Puts Trout Back.
He told them about the Goldfish and
the boy went out and got the Goldfish
and threw it out OF the basket, and
| put the speckled trout back in and
! the old fellow drove on home and his
wife came out TO meet him.
| We'll, Jack, what did the preacher
say?"
Go on back, I don't want you to
talk to me, you're losin' yer mind"
/ he said, What made you put those
rotten Goldfish in there?'
3 Losing my mind! am notl"
| Yes you are"
| mo I'm not"
| Yes you arer"
| And they had one OF those domestic
| explosions whose names are legion.
/ He went and got the package out Of
the basket. She unrolled it, and reach
ed down and picked up a speckled
trout by the tail.
There! Who is losing their mind?
Is them speckled trout or rotten cod
fish?"
The old fellow looked at them, pull
ed his whiskers and said, well, you
may be speckled trout in the country,
but you are rotten Goldfish in town"
Some of you folks did amount to
| something before you came to town
but now you are nothing but rotten
! Goldfish. All right, come on back to
God and be some of the Lords speck-
led trout and not the devils Goldfish.
Taboos Two Towns.
What do you say? The devil has
no happy old men or women. have
never tabooed but two towns that
ever preached in. One was a little
jay town in a. Western State and I
| tell you they had 30 charter members
In an infidel club in that little town.
1 stopped at the best hotel and 1 was
started a founding asylum in that
town. There were only two men
there they called Christians and they
put a question mark after their
names.
| A fellow called me into his store
one day and he said to me: Bill I
am selling out to get out Of this God
forsaken hole and I am selling out
at q loss Of 5000 on my original in
vestment"
said. What Is the matter?"
| He said. 81 won't raise a family
Mere. have got two daughters and
there isn't young fellow in this
town I'd let walk the street with my
girls in day time to say nothing of
the night And there isn't a young
fellow in this town that I'd let come
into my home and sit up with my
girls unless ] had hole cut in the
ceiling and a Calling gun trained on