davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
LEFT MR. WEDDERLY WORRIED
Nothing but Temporary Mental Aber.
ration Could Account for His
unprecedented Action.

Mr.. Wedderly's wife was gone and
he was under the painful necessity OF
having to shift for himself. even to
the extent of hunting for his hat, as
he was now doing. He had appar'
emily exhausted every conceivable
place where a hat loves to hide when
its owner is in a surry. Every nook
and Granny in the house that ne
could recall as having been the place
of refuge Of his headgear on former
occasions was absolutely hatless.
Wherever he looked his hat wasn't
there.
The situation was fast becoming
desperate. Finally, when hope al
most had fed his face suddenly as
sumed a diabolical grim 1t was the
last resort. He went to the clothes
closet and looked in. There was the
truant hat. In a moment Of mental
alteration he had actually put the
hat where 1t belonged. He resolved
that 1t should not occur again. An
other such experience might wrecf
his mind entirely.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Maybe 81 raj.
a gentlemaD sOm the rural district
made his semi eekly trip into the city
md disposed of a small wagon load
If produce for a sum that caused
him 10 walk stOop-shOuldered with
Its weight. says the indianapolis News.
Ever and anon he would feel for
the money in his pockets and men
tally smack his lips in extreme salts
faction.
With a freakish impulse he stepped
into a dairy lunch room for a snack
before starting home. He got a cup
full Of coffee, sandwich and a piece
af Die that he was afraid he would
lose sight Of before he got chance
TO eat 1t. His check was punched for
As cents. As he was standing at the
cashiers desk digging mp, one Of the
kitchen attendants, failing to catch
the order of a sandwich-shOuter, sang
out. ''Come again."
Eyes, I will. like thunder. ye dern
robber," snarled the agriculturist.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Ugh! Calomel makes you sick. It's
horrible! Take dose Of the dangerous
drug tonight and tomorrow you may
lose a days work.
>Calomel is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis Of the bones.
Calomel, when it comes into contact
with sour bile, crashes into 1t, breaking
1t up. This is when you feel that awful
nausea and cramping. II you are slug
gish and "all knocked out" If your
liver Is torpid and bowels constipated
or you have headache. dizziness, coat
ed tongue. If breath is bad or stomach
sour. just try a spoonful Of harmless
Dodson's Liver Tone tonight.
Here's my guarantee-GO to any
drug store and get bottle Of DOdsOn's
Liver Tone for q few cents. Take Z
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Cured

y local applications as they cann0I reHcn
ne diseased portion of the ear. There 70
,nly one way. to cure Catarrhal Deafness.
HXLES CATARRH MEDICINE acts
through the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces
Of the System, Catarrhal Deafness 10
caused BY an innamed condition Of the
mucous lining Of the Eustachian Tube.
When this tube 10 innamed you have Q
rumbiing sound or imperfect hearing. and
when Il IL entirely closed. Deafness - the
result. Unless the Inflammation can b re-
mai Condition. hearing may be destroyed
forever. Many cases Of Deafness are
caused by Catafrh. which is an innamso
Condition Of the Mucous Surfaces.
ONE HUNDRED DOLLAHS Tor NY
be cured BY HALLS cATAHHA
An Druggists 75c. Circulars frea
r. ], Cheney & Co., Toledo. ONO.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Ca|omeI Users! Listen To Me!
| Guarantee DodSon's Liver Tone
Your druggist gives back your money if it doesn't
liven your liver and bowels and straighten
you up without making you SICK

spoonful and II It doesn't straighten
you right up and make you feel hne
and vigorous want you to go back to
the store and get your money. Dod-
sons Liver Tone Is destroying the sale
of calomel because it is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable. therefore
it cannot salivate or make you sick.
guarantee that one spoonful OK
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your
bowels Of that sour bile and consti-
pated waste which Is clogging your
system and making you feel miserable.
I guarantee that bottle Of Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam
lily feeling fine for months. Give 1t to
your children. 1t Is harmless; doesn't
grippe and they like its pleasant taste.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

From New York he had gone to Lon
the Hotel Russell. Just before the war
he went home to Germany to see his
parents, the war came and he was con-
scripted.
He told me he was very sorry to
hear that London was I'm ruins from
the Zeppelin raids. I could not con-
vince him otherwise, for hadn't he seen
moving pictures in one cf the German
cities of st. Pauls cathedral in ruins.
changed the subject because he
was so stubborn in his belief. II was
my intention to try and pump him for
information as to the methods of the
German snipers, who had been cans
ing us trouble in the last few days.
preached the subject and he shut
up like q clam. After few minutes
he very innocently said:
German snipers get paid rewards
for killing the English"
eagerly asked. what are theyr
| He answered:
"FOr killing or w0unding an EngnSn
private. the sniper gets one mark. For
killing or wounding an English officer
he gets five marks. but If he kills a Red
Cap or English general. the sniper gets
twenty-One days tied to the wheel of
timber as punishment for his careless
1 ness"
Then. he paused. waiting for me tt
bite. suppose.
bit all right and asked him why the
sniper was punished for killing ar
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
What Amused Him.

Roy X. MoultOn at the Press Club
the other evening told Of a young
American soldier who stood knee deep
In the mud i'm a front trench. Shrap-
mel was screaming all about him and
the big shells were bursting over his
head. Suddenly the soldier burst into
wild fit Of laughing.
whats the matter with your said
a trench mate sarcastically.
II was just thinkin', Bill" was the
response, about the guy who held me
up one night in Memphis with a q
caliber revolver."-New York Times.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
EmPEY. QUESTIONING A GERMAN PRISONER FINDS HE IS
FROM NEW YORK.

svnons-Fred by the sinking with the loss OF
American living In Jersey City,
a the British After
London he is sent to train
the sound Dig guns ana
brief period framing
trenches where he takes
his first turn bullets whz overhead Empey
always In the trenches
himself rescung wounded men under not
fire. pick Epey has experience as trench digger
listening post DETAIL
citing work duty Back in rest bles Empey
and successful play
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

When you're fifty, your body begins %
creak . little 1t the Hinges. Motion u
more slow and deliberate. Not eosyounl
@ I used to be" 10 . frequent and unwel'
come thought. Certain bodily functiena
upon which good health and good pirit1
% much depend, are impaired. The weak
symptoms show themselves. Painful and
annoying complications in other organ.
arise. This Is particularly true. with 81
derby people. If you only know how, thu
trouble can be obviated.
For over 200 years GOLD MEDAL
HARLEM Oil has been relieving the in
convenience and pain due 70 advascinl
years. Il il standard, old-time homa
remedy, and needs no introduction. Il u
now put up in odorless, tasteleD capenles
These are easier and more pleasant to takl
than the oil in bottles.
Each capsule contains about one dose o
Eve drops. Take them just like you woul<
any Dill, with . small swallow Of water
They soak into the system and throw Of
the poisons which are making You old be
fore your time. They win quickly relisv'
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

English general. With smile he re-
piled:
well. you see, If all the English gen.
erals were killed. there would be no
one left to make costly mistakes"
shut him up. he was getting too
fresh for a prisoner. After while he
winked at me and winked back, then
the escort came to take the prisoners
to the rear. shook hands and wished
him THE best of luck and safe jour
ney to Biighty." T.
liked that prisoner. he was fine
fellow, had an Iron Cross. too. I ad-
vised him to keep 1t out Of sight. or
some Tommy would be sending II home
to his girl In Blighty as a souvenir.
One dark and rainy night while on
guard we were looking over the top
from the fire step Of our front-line
trench. when we heard a noise imme-
diately In front Of our barbed wire.
| The sentry next to me challenged,
| Halt, who comes there?" and brought
his rife to the aim. His challenge waa
answered In German. A captain In the
next traverse climbed upon the sand
bagged parapet to investigates brave
but fOolhardy deed-"Crack" went 9
bullet and he tumbled back into the
trench with hole through his stomach
and died few minutes later. A lance
corporal in the next platoon was 20 en-
ragged Mt the captains death that HI
chucked Mills bomb in the direction
of the noise with the shouted warning
to us: "Duck your nappers. my luck,
lads" A shafp dynamite report. far
in front of us. and then silence.
We Immediately sent mp two sta
shells, and in their light could see tw'
dark forms lying on the ground clos'
to our wire. A sergeant and fou
stretcher-bearers went out In front ant
soon returned, carrying two linn
bodies. Down In the dugOut, in. tn
Pickering light Of three candles. WI
saw that they were two German Off
GERS, one a captain and the. other al
"unteroffizier." n rank one grade highe
than a sergeant general. but below tn
grade Of lieutenant.
] The captains face had been almos
completely torn away by the bomb
explosion. The unterofIizier was alive
breathing with dimcuaty. In few min
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
CHAPTER Xxx.
"Chats With Fritz"

We were swimming i'm money. from
the receipts Of our theatrical venture.
and had forgotten all about the war,
when an order came through that our
brigade would again take over their
sector Of the line.
The day that these orders were Is
sued. our captain assembled the COM
pany and asked for volunteers to go to
the Machine Gun school ut st. Omar.
volunteered and was accepted.
Sixteen men from our brigade left
for the course in machine gunnery.
This course lasted two weeks and we
reioined our unit and were assigned to
the brigade machine gun company. 1t
almost broke my heart to leave my
company mates.
The gun we used was the Vickers.
Light 1903. water cooled.
Twas still member Of the Suicide
club, having jumped from the frying
pan into the fire. l was assigned to
section I. gun No. 2. and the first time
'in" took position in the front-line
trench.
During the day our gun would he
dismOunted on the fire step ready for
instant use. We shared dugOut with
the Lewis gunners. At "stand to" we
would mount our gun on the pnrapet
and GO on watch beside il until ''stand
down" in the morning. Then the gun
would be dismounted and again placed
In readiness on the fire step.
We did eight days In the frOnt-line
trench without anything unusual hap
pening outside Of the ordinary trench
| routine. On the night that we were to
"carry out" bombing raid against the
German lines was pulled of. This raid
ing party consisted Of sixty company
men. sixteen bombers. and. four Lewis
machine guns with their crews.
The raid took the Boches by surprise
| and was complete success. the party
bringing back twenty-One prisoners.
The Germans must have been awful.
" sore, because they turned loose a
barrage Of shrapnel. with few Min
MES" and "whizz bangs" interlixed
The shells were dropping into our from
line like hailstones.
To get even. we could have left the
prisoners In the fire trench. in charge
Of the men on guard and let them clici
Fritz's strafeing but Tommy does moi
treat prisoners that way.
Five of them were brought into my
dugout and turned over to me so thai
they would be safe from the German
fire.
In the candlelight. they looked yer!
much shaken. nerves gone and chalk!
faces, with the exception of one, {
great big fellow. He looked very mucl
at ease. l liked him from the start.
l got out the rum jar and gave eacl
a nip and passed around some flags
the old reliable Woodbines. The othe
prisoners looked their gratitude. bu
the big fellow said in English. 'Thanl
YOU. sir, the rum Is EXCELLENT and ap
. preciate 1t, also your kindness"
He told me his name was Car
} Schmidt, of the Sixty-sixth Bavarial
Light infantry; that he had lived 81,
wears in New York (knew the city bel
ter than I did. had been to Cone
island and many of our ball games. HI
was a regular fan. couldn't make hir
believe that Hans Wagner wasn't th
best ball player In the world.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
(TO BE CONTINUEDl
ADDING HORROR TO SITUATION
Conversation a. Reported BY Boston
+ "tiusnorist" Would Seem 70 About
Approach the Limit

"The coal situation Is getting very
accuse, isn't it?' asked ma. as she
looked over the morning paper.
"Yes," said Peggy. II was reading
where Mr.. Stomorrow. the fuel demon
strator. is trying to get coal from the
minds"
But the paper says there Is short
age of anthrax coal" interrupted ma.
"and that we should use voluminous
coal"
mot .voluminous, ma" corrected
Peggy. "buytoomany coall"
IL don't care what they call It," said
ma. "you can't get any. anyhow. Its
Just too aggregating for words. A
pound of sugar or a hOd Of coal today
is worth more than all the wealth Of
the ancient inkstands,"
"Whb were them" asked Peggy.
Them was Indians as used to live
down in Texaco," ma told her. 1T does
look as II this war would never ter
minal.'
ut will be terrible II the Russiani
continue their armature with the Ger
mans, wouldn't IT. mar"
"Oh. he's O terrible. terrible man.
sighed ma.
"whoua ISL" asked Peggy. -
rwhy." said ma. as she went to gel
dinner. "who but the geyserr'-Jo'
Toye in the Boston Post.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Eats EN- Alive.

Vacuum cleaners, an Ohio farmer
has discovered, make excellent potato
bug exterminators. Noticing that his
potato vines were thick with the pest,
he attached long extension feed wire
to an electric lamp socket In the Gel
lar of his home and carried the cleaner
out into his backyard potato patch.
The current was turned on, and In q
few minutes every bug was drawn into
the bag.-PeOple's Home Journal.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Gossiping Is about the most useless
kind of work one could possibly en-
eage In. How much better and more
charitable 1t ID to turn q deaf ear to
cruel truths, to honorably keep silent
about what we have heard. and at the
same time give the unfortunate person
in the case the benent Of our doubt
"Small wits talk much" u an old say.
ing and true one. The girl or woman
who would be truly happy. and who
incidentally would make others happy,
should wisely think twice before she
speaks- and then should put into words
only thoughts that are cheering and
charitable.-NewY York Evening Mail.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Nobody Gets BY.

My friend, who is an officer, told me
this one: There was a new and
Young lad on sentry duty, so ] thought
I would play a trick on him. 1t was
dark when I approached me camp.
and the sentry asked. Who goes
thereY I answered, Nobody He, be-
coming excited at this answer, replied,
Piss on"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Lemon Juice
For FreCkIeS
Christ Make beauty lotion at
home Tor a few cents. Try Il!

Squeeze the Juice of two lemons into
a bottle containing three ounces Of
Gchard white, shake well, and you
have q quarter pint of the best freckle,
sunburn and tan lotion, and complex
ion whitener, at very, very small cost.
Your grocer has the lemons and
any drug store or toilet counter will
supply three ounces of orchard white
for few cents. Massage this sweetly
fragrant lotion into the face, neck.
arms and hands and see how freckles,
sunburn and tan disappear and how
clear, soft and white the skin becomes.
Yesi It Is harmless.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

utes he opened his eyes and blinked In
the glare of the candles.
The pair had evidently been drink
ing heavily. for the alcohol fumes werS
sickening and completely pervaded the
1ugout. turned away in disgust.
hating to see a man cross the Great d.
vide full of booze.
One of our officers could speak Ger
man and he questioned the dying man.
In faint voice. interrupted by fire.
quent hiccoughs, the unteroffizier told
his story.
Thefe had been a drinking bout
among the officers in one Of the Ger
man dugouts. the main beverage being
champagne. With a drunken leer he
informed us that champagne was plen-
tiful on their side and that 1t did not
cost them anything either. About seven
that night the conversation had turned
to the Contemplate" English. and the
captain had made wager that he
would hang his cap on the English
barbed wire to show his contempt for
the English septries. The wager was
accepted. At eight o'clock the captain
and he had 'crept out into No Mans
Land to carry out this wager.
They had gotten about halfway
across when the drink took effect and
the captain fell asleep. After about
two hours Of vain attempts the inter
offizier had at last succeeded in wax
ing the captain, reminded him Of his
bet, and warned him that he would he
the laughing stock of the officers mess
IL he did not accomplish his object, but
the captain was trembling all over and
insisted on returning to the German
lines. In the darkness they lost their
bearings and crawled toward the Eng
lish trenches. They reached the barbed
wire and were suddenly challenged by
our sentry. Being too drunk to realize
that the challenge was in English. the
captain refused to crawl back. Finally
the unteroffizier convinced his superior
that they were In front of the English
wire. Realizing this too late. the cap
tain drew his revolver and with mutt
tered curse fired blindly toward our
trench. His bullet no doubt killed our
captain.
Then the bomb came over and there
he was, dying-and good job too. we
thought. The captain dead? Well. his
men wouldn't weep at the news.
Without giving us any further infor
nation the unterofiizier died.
We searched the bodies for identifl'
cation disks but they had left every
thing behind before starting on theiI
foolhardy GRAND.
Next afternoon We buried them In
our little cemetery apart from thu
graves Of the TOmmies. If you evel
90 into that cemetery you will see two
little wooden crosses In the corner Of
the cemetery set away from the rest.
They read:
Captain
German Army
Died - 1915
Unknown
R. I. P.
Unteroffizier
German Army
Died - 1916
Unknown
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Tender skins twice a day without irri-
tation by using Cuticura Soap the
"Cuticura Way" No Shiny mug, germs,
waste of time or money. For free sam
pies address, "Cuticura, Dept. x, Bos-
tom" At druggists and by mail. Soap
%. Ointment 25 and 50.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
HE Duty Done.

The family Is rather demonstratve
when the various members of tho
household come and 60. The grand
children are expected to embrace every
one at the beginning and at the end
of q visit. Fred and Albert were get
ting into their clothing and making
their hasty adieux preparatory to
catching their train home after Christ.
mas. Hurry up. Fred" Albert shout
ed; you're too slow for anything.
I've got mine all kissed"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Empey and hIs maehine-sun
company 90 ''evef the top" In .
successful but costly attack on
the German trenches. The story
Of this thrilling charge 10. told
In the next installment.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Groves chill Tonic Tablets snA

CrOVe0 i 00te1eo0 chill 0nE
You can now get Groves Tasteless chill Tonic U
Tablet form as we'll as in Syrup. the kind you heve
always bought The tablets are intended Tor those
who prefer TO swallow tablet rather than syrup.
Gd cb STG Contain e1scty
the same medicinal properies and produce sne
Il put ~ in bottles. The price OF either 10 90
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
FOR HEADACHE

USE VACHER-BALM. it is cooling.
and relieves promptly, besides being
harmless.
Avoid imitatiOns-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

The manufacture Of paper from
wood pulp involves % separate opera
lions.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Britain Is buying 6OOOO,OOO sticks Of
chewing gum for soldiers.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

f. f. Duding Of New York wants
100000 American c0nvicts put to Vork
in munition plants.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Guilty.

0OUtys
A certain admiral whose addiction
to strong language Is well known In
the navy was one day inspecting one
of the ships under his command. When
he came to the brig (ship's jaiD his
piercing eye travelled from one to an
other of the prisoners, who were evil
IDENTIFY i'll at ease under his scrutiny.
"What the - are you In fOr?' he
demanded of one.
For using profanity. sir" was the
meek reply.-Life.
A. B. WEIGH of Mandan, N D., a cap
tain with the American army In
France, Is a Sioux Indian chief.
When Baby = TeethIng
0BOvUD BABY BOWL N1DIClNn win corfeo
ne stomach and Bowel troubles. Perfectly harm
~ - directions on the bottle.
Philadelphia Aero club reports 30
per cent of members In the war.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Alvays sure to please, Red Cros Hall
Blue. All grocers sell it. Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
HAD . Kick Coming.

Dusty Bones-What's Weary While
moaning about7 He's been sighing all
day long.
Roaming Waldo-He's sore because
he got the third degree yesterday and
didn't GET any class pin.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

It's difference of opinion that makes
divorce cases. too.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Measure of Esteem

Measure of Esteem.
"Then she cares nothing for himF
"NOt even enough to inquire about
his income"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Chester, Pa. IL to have 1000 new
dvellinR for war workers.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

United States cigarette sales ma
this year exceed 4O.OOO.OOO 900.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Wilmer Krusen Is preparing Penn
sylvania industries for employment OF
veteran American soldiers.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Her Destiny.
"A waitress ought to be born one"
"Why SOP"
"Isn't she one maid to order?"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

All country stores should stock yacher-
Balm because it gives satisfaction, and
pleased customers are your best adver-
Users. It also saves your capital by
taking the place of many other RENE
dies. Samples free. E. w. vacher, Inc,
New Orleans, La.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04

Philadelphia Aero club reports 30
DER cent of members In the war;
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1918-10-04
Grandmother in Eighteen Days.

A lady green bug becomes a grand
mother in IS days. One can imagine,
then, notes a naturalist, the multitu-
iinous armies of these insects that
may develop in the course Of a sea-
son. Their worst foe is tiny black
four-winged fly that deposits an egg
In each bug it comes across, its larva
consuming the bugs inside works and
using its shell for house.