davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

Iwork in the garden, but not for
money, for food
] have fourteen Thrift Stamps.
and will soon have another.
have to get two more Thrift
Stamps before have a Baby Bond.
do not go to picture shows any
more and do not buy much candy.
l am going to sell some paper
and rags pretty soon.
Mother has been sick and ! do
not get to play very much. l have
to work --Harold Thomas. Baxter.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
THEY OUGHT 70

THEY OUGHT TO
be BITING SOON.
Quite soon I'm goin' a iishin'
Down in that old hole,
Where so long I've been a wishin'
To take my bamboo pole.
And I'm sure they'll be q bitin'.
Cause I'd think that they would be
30 hungry they'll start fightin'
70 grab my bait, by gee!
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
COME, HAVE A SMILE

ny II "A II ~
Come, my friend, have smile with me,
Let's Danish care and sorrow.
Let's end the day with smile or two;
Twill help us start the morrow.
IT'S hard to smile if things go wrong
But still it's worth the while,
It makes more bright the darkest day,
So come, my friend, let's smile.
It 'aint no use to grumble, friend;
It's no use to complain.
Just take things with smile or two,
Be it sunshine, cloud or rain.
For grumbling never stopped the rain,
It never will, know.
It never caused the sun to shine
Nor caused the clouds to go.
I'll try, my friend, whate'r betides,
Your funny bone to prod;
III try to drive dull care away:
Come, have laugh with Pod.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

II see the Germans are begin
ming to call our Yankee boys dirty
dogs"
Eyes. so have heard. Believe
me, a few of those Huns are going
to be dying of hydrophobia pretty
soon, too"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

Mary had q little lamb,
You've heard that fact before.
But have you heard
She passed her plate,
And had q little more?
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
BITS OF LAUGHTER
DONE INTO PROSE

/ saw man go
Into an insurance
Office today and
Take out a fire
Insurance policy.
/ guess therell
Probably be
Fire In town
Pretty soon.
The hen that lays
One egg per day
Eggserts itself.
It's tough luck
When you pay a
Nickel for 2 shine
And then It rains.
I wonder why We
See so many
Signs which say
Walk in.
Surely no chump
Will ever try to
Ride in.
Looks like this
Was going to be
A tough season
For Kaisers.
The best way to
Swat the Kaiser
Is with
Liberty Bond.
What do l care
About expenses?
I've got whole
Lot of 'em.
The best place to keep limberger
cheese is in the wOodshed.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
THE RAMBLINGS OF A
RAMBLER.

VV"0GCUs
A North Dakota small town pa
per says, This town is enjoying
its first strike in many years"
Where do they get that enjoy stuff?
Love is said to be blind, but the
best eye specialists the world has
ever known is marriage.
It's alright to Keep Your Eye
on the Grille You Love-" but most
fellows keep their eyes on few
others, too.
Man wants but little here below,
says an old adage. Meaning little
of work, perhaps.
A man cant kick il he's got the
govt.
Would you call a negro mail car
rier a blackmailer?
Some men are we'll to do and
some are hard to do.
About the only place man likes
to take a back seat is in church.
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
How to Make Sponge Cake:
Borrow whatever you may need
from your neighbors to make any
kind Of a cake, and whatever kind
of cake it makes is a sponge
cake.
The best way to plug up holes
in Swiss cheese is with putty.
Never spank child for swallow
ing bullet. ! might 60 of.
The best place to raise bread
dough is in the garden.
I wish I had an aeroplane,
I'd fly right DER Berlin.
I'd like to drop a bomb or two
Right on the Kaiser's bean.
Or II I only had q gun
I'd take the train, I think,
And get of when It hit Berlin,
And shoot this Kaiser gink.
The dough I've spent on thee, dear
heart,
Has well nigh busted me.
! count each buck with which !
part
And there see poverty.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

Mister, what can I buy with a
penny that has got a hole in it?'
asked the little boy in a bakery
shop.
II guess you can buy a dough-
nut" replied the congenial clerk.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

What is your idea of sure
sign Of spring"
"B. v. D."
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

French postal authorities are ex'
perimepting with American auto
matte ~and semi-automatic tele.
phones.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

did you hear Mr.. Bryan's
speech on prohibition last night?"
yes"
What did you think of it,"
II thought it was pretty dry"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
HEADLINES WE'D LOVE TO
SEE IN THE NEWSPAPERS.

Peace Is Declared.
High Prices Decline.
Kaiser Hangs Himself.
Yankees March Into Berlin.
Tar and Feather Pro-German.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
A SMILE OR TWO ..-
IN JOKE FORM.

IN WINE WIND
Mamma, do little birds have
barber shops? asked the four-year.
old tot, who was just at the age
when Young America begins to
grow Observant.
why no, my DEAR" mother re-
piled. why do you ask such a
question:"
well, mamma, saw little bit
Of a baby bird, and it didn't have
no feathers at all, so l thought
mebbe it was shaved"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

The best place to keep limberger
cheese is in the woodshed.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

The best place to raise bread
dough is In the garden.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
CONGO TO BE in RICHMOND

with history He the animal Of his kind light
in
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

Never spank a child for swallow
ing a bullet. / might 60 of.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

The best way to plug up holes
in Swiss cheese is with putty.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-04-27

The dough I've spent on thee, dea
heart,
Has well nigh busted me.
! count each buck with which
part
And there see poverty.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
MURDERER DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SHEDDING OF BLOOD AND CLAIMS
 EXEMPTION

BANGOR, Me, March 20-Canada has come across a queer case in New Brunswick during tour of the pris- ons.
 In St. John, the principal city of New Brunswick. Frank Higgins, who is serving life sentence for the murder of his chum, boy named Doherty, gave as his reason for claiming exemp. ton from military duty: Because belong to a religious denomination, the articles of faith of which will not permit the shedding Of human blood !" As it is not likely .aat Higgins ever will see the outside of prison walls, the exemption board is not worrying about his case, altho it is expected that a majority of jail and penitentiary pris. oners, all of whom are liable under he military service act, will be glad to go overseas, rather than serve out their time
 It is understood that all those who are serving short terms and who en- .st will be pardoned. Most of the prisoners have indicated a willing.
 ness to join the army.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
NEW GERMAN TANKS
 READY TO OPERATE

WITH THE FRENCH ARMY, March 20.-Chariots of assault or tanks which are called "sturmpanzer kraftwagen" are being rapidly constructed in Ger many and the first ones of the new type have been reported on the front
 The first time that these monstrous machines were used in battle, by the British, wrecked one was captured by the Germans during a counter at- tack, and altho the English again charged and retook it a few hours later Teuton engineers had already visited the tank and made sketches of it after thoro examination. The Germans are not very ingenious as in- ventors, but are exceedingly clever at developing ideas; therefore it will be interesting 10 see what sort of chariot Of assault they will use in their fu- ture attacks.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
KAISER PRAISES
 PRINCE LEOPOLD

AMSTERDAM, March 20.-Emper. CT William in message to Prince Leopold of Bavaria. the Austro-Ger- man commander-inc chief on the east. ern front. according to 3 Berlin des- patch. congratulates him that after three and half years Of struggle the German armies have called a halt to the Russian army, which, with an overwhelming superiority of numbers threatened our country"
 iii alluding specially to Prince Leo pold's troops. the Emperor said:
 Tn irresistible marches over bad roads in ice and snow they did their utmost. The victorious march in the laac fortnight will remain a glorious page in the history of the German ar my"
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
COKE FROM SAWDUST
 |STHE LATEST

VICTORIA B. C., March 2O.-The Provincial Government is planning to Investigate in the near future the dis covery made by Walter Thomas, a Nanaimo gas engineer, of a method Of producing a highly desirable coke from mill waste, sawdust and such material. This coke runs as high as ash it is reported. This discovery in addition to the reported discovery of hematite Iron ore at Ladysmith, may prove one of the most valuable metal lurgical discoveries of modern times.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
COURT OF APPEALS
 AFFIRMS SENTENCE

CHICAGO, March 2O.-The United States Circuit Court of Appeals has rendered a decision affirming the con viction and sentence of John F. Jelke head of the oleomargarine concern bearing his name, and seven associ ates, who were found guilty in 1913 of conspiracy to deprive the Government of the 10 cents pound tax on butter fixed by the internal revenue laws.
 Jelke was sentenced to a term of two years in the penitentiary and to pay a $10,000 fine; Francis Lowry, his general manager, to one years i'm. prisonment and $5,00O fine, while Harry c. Hitchins, William M. Steele. Hugh D. Cameron, William L. Lillard William P. Jackson, and Fred Rapp were sentenced to fines of $25,000 each.
 Unless appeal Is taken to the Su- preme Court, the "oleo" manufactur. CT must serve the sentence.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20

OTTAWA. March 29It has offici- ally been announced here in regard to the breaking up of the Fifth Canadian Division that this action was in no wise contingent on the operation Of Military Service Act. il is intimated. had been to maintain four divisions in the field. The four divisions are now at strength and there is every ex- pectation that they will be kept at strength. Maintenance Of a fifth di- vision by means of additional drafts, it is understood. has not been under contemplation.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
AUSTRIAN FOUND WITH DISEASE
 GERMS IN VIAL

NEW YORK, March 2O.-Charged with grand larceny in connection with the theft of powerful microscope, de- tectives raiding the apartment of Theodore Erdos, an Austrian in the Belvue Medical College where he is employed as a chemist, discovered several vials containing disease germs, Army intelligence officer were immedi- ately notified.
 Erdos warned the detectives to be careful with the vials. He told them they contained germs of measles, scar let fever, diptheria and other diseases. The police say that in his capacity as a chemist he had no right to keep ,iese germs. Erdos denied he had the germs for any criminal purpose.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
Sixy-0ne Volunteers Left This Morning for Fort EIcDoweiI- --Given Great
 Great Send-oH

ANCHORAGE. March 20.-Sixty- enc volunteers who enlisted with the exemption board here left this morning for Fort Mcdowell, California. These recruits bring the Anchorage quota in military service to one hundred and three.
 A parade with over two thousand persons were in line, consisting of regular soldiers stationed here; the home guard organization; Alaska pic. neers Of that organization and the school children escorted the volun- teers from the office of the exemption board to the railway station where the recruits all in high spirits entrained for Seward. No business houses op- eled their doors today until after the Departure Of the volunteers.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
General Pershine Author. izes Awarding of Three Military Crosses for
 neroism
WITH THE AMERICAN AR

WITH THE AMERICAN AR MY IN FRANCE. March 20.- Secretary of War Baker was in the front trenches under shell fire early today accompanied by General Pershing and other high officials. While scanning the No Mans Land from his listen ing post where he stood, the Sec retary exclaimed: 'Now l am at the frontier of freedom"
 Returning from the trenches, one hundred and five calibre German shell burst within forty yards of the secretary's auto. Fortunately no one was injured.
 General Pershing has author ized awarding the first new American military crosses for extraordinary herolSm. The re- cipients are Lieut.. John o. Green Sergeant Wm. Norton and Ser geant Patrick Walsh. Lieut.. Green will be recorded the first to receive the honor. He was wounded while hurling hand grenades ont of a dugout. He was summoned by the enemy to surrender, but refused to do so and returned the fire, hitting one when the rest flew with Green in pursuit of the hostile party.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
NEW ZEALAND WANTS
 SAMOA BACK FOR GOOD

LONDON, March PA dispatch from Wellington says that Premier Massey said he was going to the I'm perial War Credit Conference from sense of duty. Referring to Samoa, the Premier said that New Zealand was anxious because Samoa was the key to the south Pacific and if restor. ed would become the headquarters of operations in the Pacific The British flag was carried away from Samoa in 1889, and the New Zealand boys car was of the opinion that it had gone back to stay.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
SALT LAKE MAN
 ORDERED INTERNED

SALT LAKE CITY, March 19.-On he charge that he had denounced the 'overnment and expressed the hope hat Germany would win the war, Alex nder H. Lucas, 72, supervising archi- act under whose direction the war arison barracks at Fort Douglas were constructed, tonight was ordered in. termed on a Presidential warrant.
 Lucas was born in Germany and anne to America when he was IS
 ears old. In 1864 he enlisted as a -olunteer in the Fifteenth New Jer- 'ey Infantry and fought with the Un on army until the close of the war. Ie was honorably discharged. In S66 he enlisted in the regular United States Army and served for three years.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
PROBLEM FOR TREASURY

WASHINGTON, D. C., March 19.- Treasury legal sharps are confronted by knotty problem over the disposi- tion to be made of seventy-six minor .n Tennessee.
 Please melt these into bullets" wrote the woman to Secretary Nc Adoo, land let them telp pay the Kaiser in his own coin'
 Since the War Department can use neither silver nor bronze bullets, the coins probably will be melted by the mint and their value as metal returned to the giyer in war savings stamps
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
NO ROOM LEFT AT FRONT FOR
 HUN TROOPS
North Sea and Swiss Bor- ders damned with Troops
 Awaiting Big Drive

WASHINGTON. March 2O.-Dis- patches to the London war office by the British army commander on the western front and officially transmit ted here; German troops are so mass ed on the battle front along the North Sea and Swiss frontier that additional units cannot be utilized. Besides it is known that new organization from the East is being held in readiness for action on short notice.
 Behind the front, dispatch says. railroad functions along the entire front as we'll as trenches are held by picked shock troops. The beginning of the great offensive is expected mom- entarily. adds the dispatch.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20

 RAIDED BY
 BRI'T'ISHERS
h all their Raids British Aviators Lost Only Ten
 Machines

LONDON, March 2O-A squadron of British aeroplanes dropped ton of bombs on the city of Mannheim last Monday, according to an official an nouncement this morning.
 In the House of Commons today, the Parliamentary Secretary in speaking of the work of the air fleets said that out Of two hundred and fifty-fve flights into Germany by British aviators, on- ly ten machines were lost, but none of recent dates.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
PRIMARY ELECTION IN
 WISCONSIN EXITING

MILWAUKEE, March 2O-The vote at the state primary for senatorial is so close between Lenroot Republican, a local candidate and James Thompson. backed by La Fol. lete that it will require days before the result is known. The loyal ele- nnent of the state is much discouraged. The showing thus far favors Joseph E. Davis, Democrat will be nominated by an overwhelming majority, it is thought
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
UNIVERSITY FOR JEWS

NEW YORK, March 19.-The estab- lisbment Of a Hebrew University in Jerusalem before the end of the war will be the first duty of the Jewish Commission. which leaves soon for Ualessins. according 10 an announce ment made here today by the Pales- tine Restoration Fund Commission. A site oil the Mount of Olives has already been c3eained. it va ssaid and an ap- peal will soon be made to the Jews of the world for an endowment fund.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
THE FRENCH PRAISINC
 AMERICANS
Newspapers Say They All Display Rare Quality
 of Courage

PARIS, March 20.-German troops lin their attack in Lorraine on a re- cent night, twice gained footing in ehe American trenches, only to be driven out in fierce fighting. An of. ticial statement today giving the French view of the encounter says: The Americans show rare quality 'of courage. self-possession and calm bravery which won them the admir-. ation of the neighborhood French troops and hearty congratulations of tke French high command"
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20

LONDON, March 20-Premier Lloyd George in an address said to the Free Churchmen at the City Temple that the consumption Of intoxicating liquor in Great Britain is now only one third Of what it was four years ago, when challenged about the drink traffic. No spirits were being manufactured at all he said and anyone who. four years ago should have predicted such a hing would not have bee nbelieved
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
cANNERY TENDER "OREGONIAN" IS
 BELIEVED LOST
Was Towing Piledriver Which Was Known to Have Been
 Torn Away in Storm

SEATTLE, March 19-According to advices reaching here today from Morzhovia Bay. the cannery tender Oregonian owneu by the Sockeye Sal. mon Company, which sailed from Se- attle on February 20 for Morzhovia Bay, towing big piledriver, has been lost. The piledriver vas torn away during a storm and sunk it also be. came known today The fate of the Oregonian is however still a mystery. There were seven men aboard.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20

WASHINGTON, March 19.-The Federal Trade Commission in its en- quiry to determine paper prices has promised 10 consider the demands of the International Brotherhood of Pa. per Makers for :. 45 per cent wage ad- vance. an eight hour day, and an in- crease in the number of holidays were today given consideration by the Fed eral Trade Commission in it's inquiry to determine paper prices. If the re- quests are granted basic wage scale of S1 an hour will be established. The present agreement expires May
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
NEEV HAMPSHIRE TO INCREASE PRODUCTION
 OF MAPLE SUGAR

DURHAM. N. H., March 20.-If the plans of the state emergency food pro- ducticn committee are given popular support. New Hampshire will rival her neighbor, Vermont in the produc. tion of maple sugar. The output of the state can easily be doubled it is be- lieyed Tn Vermont it is said one- third of the farmers tap their trees, while in New Hampshire only Il per cent make a regular business Of mak- ing sugar
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
ANCHORAGE CITIZENS SHOW EXEMPLARY PATRIOTISM TO
 OTHER TOWNS TO FOLLOW
2,938 SHIPS SUNK
 DURING YEAR 1917

LONDON, March 20.-The Daily Mail today publishes Paris dispatch which says that the Germans have sunk 2,93S ships all told last year. This number includes those missing for unknown cause, but recorded as having been presumably sunk.
 LONDON, March 20.-The total of the allied and neutral shipping losses from the beginning of the war to De- cember 31, were eight per cent of the total tonnage which was thirty-three million, Sir Geddes, the First Lord of Admiralty, announced in the house of commons today.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
ROSS RIP LIGHTSHIP
 BELIEVED TO HAVE SUNK

BOSTON. Mass, March 20.-The Cross Rip Lightship which was torn rom her moorings off Nantucket by se foes late in January, is believed to ave been sunk, according to evidence rought here today in the form of torn and water soaked American flag I'd the rudder of ships boat bear ag the word Gross Rip" A fisher- lan picked up these articles 1855 miles
 ,st of Georges Bank on February 2S, while fishing for the schooner Kineo Six men were on board at the time
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
PETR()CRAD IN HANDS OF
 GERMANS
FlepoTts Say It is a Matter of a Few Hours. No
 Evidence Of Resistance

LONDON, March 20-The occupa- ton of Petrograd by Germans is only a matter of few hours say dispatches from the capitals of several neutral nations.
 The dispatch from Stockholm says the Russian capital is not displaying the slightest evidence of organized re- sistance. In official circles the event appears as a matter of course.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
JAPANESE ARMY SENT sN PROVINCE AMUR
 FOR PROTECTION

TOKYO, March 20.-Today armed Japanese forces composed of volun- teers have bee nsent into the Siberian province Amur to protect the lives of the Japanese residents from the Bol- shevikis. A Reuter- dispatch today states that the Bolshevik outrages in northeastern Siberia have increased since the soviet congress ratified the separate peace with Germany.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
GERMAN ARRESTED WITH MODELSOF
 U.S. AIRPLANES

CLEVELAND, Ohio, March 29.-It has been revealed by the police here hat William Werner who was arrested ere several weeks ago on suspicion dangerous enemy alien, was in 'eality former sergeant in the Ger lan army and was awaiting his oppor- tunity to return to Germany with im- ortant information about American -.rplanes. When arrested Werner .ad 27 airplane models.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
SiXTY-SEvEN
 GERMAN AIRPLANES DESTROYED IN MONTH

PARIS, March 2O.-Air war on the west front has already reached a point this month where 1t will likely be a record breaking. One hundred and sixty-seven enemy airplanes have been brought down so far this month by daylight flying. On St Patrick's day alone, twenty three were brought down is the official statemer. issued today by the war office.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
FIRST STEAMER BUILT .IN SEATTLE LEToRPEDoED

SEATTLE. March 20.-The steel freighter Srolt Nelson was torpedoed and sunk in the war zone, according to cable advices from the Norwegian owners today. The SJolt Nelson was the first Seattle built vessel sunk. It was launched in Nay 1917.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
"RAINBOW" IN PORT

Superintendent Simons of the Met lakat,a cannery was a visitor in town today on board the Rainbow, one of the four new seine boats which arriv. ed from the south this week. Profes. sor Beattie of the Government school accompanied MT. Simonds to town on business. The returned late this af. ternoon.
The daily progressive-miner., 1918-03-20
IMMATURE ARSENAL
 IN GERMANS STORE

NEW YORK, March 2O-Twenty re- yolvers. 10 rifles and 10000 cartridges were found in the Electrical store of John Shubert, German when he was arrested at Haverstraw by agents of the Naval Intelligence Bureau.