davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
THE OTHER ANGLE
:. Phone Acoustics.
BY KIRK MILLER.

When Old Doc Beeler gets through
diagnosing the case of Washington's
street railways it might be good
idea to get him to dash off a formula
for our telephone epidemic.
Since the war has been conducted
from Washington. the phone system
has been awfully run down and nice
invigorating spring tonic might do
lot of good all around-tempers in
c1uded.
We were getting along all right until
the kaiser started using the Atlantic
there our invisible chatter system
sprung fiat wheel and has been spav-
tned ever since.
For awhile it looked like the ailment
came intermittent and now we've got
q full grown, non-collapsible, ball
bearing case of chronic phoneal menin-
gifts.
Not all of this phone pneumonia is
due to the war. however. The soprano
voters who are also trying to knit the
war to windup are partly responsible
for the wrinkles in the telephone lines.
because they ignore the traffic rules.
When Gen. Pershing wants to tele-
phone over to the steenth assistant jan
itor of the War Department. to turn
ON more heat in the American sector.
how does Mrs. Gibber Talker expect
him to get his connection if she is
monopolizing the wire trying to get the
tanitor's wife to come over and mind
the baby while she goes to the Pomer-
anian show?
How can the government transact its
acoustics in Washington if its got to
wait until Mrs. Gofus gets through ex-
planning to Mrs. WhoozuS why her
tao6y cat won't drink anything but
pasteurized catsup and that her gold
inc h
time with the latest fox trot published
by the victrola printing corporation.
is this war going to be terminated
any more quickly by having the tele-
scandal about Old Man Brickbat's hay-
ing massaged his spouse's features
with a cobblestone three times. twice
In earnest and once out of friendship?
Why mold up important government
chin maneuvers while Sally Jibber
nolds clinic over the telephone about
her Italian naval general having turn
out 70 De window dresser in Silver
sfine's toy haberdashery?
1t won't bring the world any nearer
70 peace to hear about Mrs HardJeiyh
Sane's having gone to the Camouflage
Gaiiop with the husband of Mrs. Bill
non Mark. poor dear, who has gone
to Mount Rainier to regain her shat.
tered nerves in the mountain ever
giades.
There's no use arguing-eithe- the
women must embroider their CONVEX
sation over the back fence and not
ever the wire. or the phone SYSTEM
won't have any more spine than a hall
but has knee braces.
Cut out the lip hierglyphics.,
That Queer QUESTIONABLE.
would you call the Washington Mon
ument a low skyscraper or a high bun
gAlow?
Can you walk under your bed with an
opera hat on?
How mary ticks in an eight day
clock?
DO you ever have your shoes shined
On the bottom?
DO yen ever drop. pennies in teie-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
BOXING CARNIVAL
BOOKED At MYER
Big Ring Event Is Scheduled
for Benefit of Soldiers
Athletic Fund.
BY n. C.. BYRD.
BY n. c. BYRD.

One often feels a deep sense Of
personal loss over the absence of
something that had only mate
rial value; but there IL no COM
bination of words yet found nde-
QuateIy to express the void
caused by taking away the en-
bodiment of the highest ethical
and material good-the friend.
So we feel helpless to comment
on the passing of Charley King,
and can only think, In the words
of Fichte. "All death is birth,
and at the moment of death APP
appear visibly the signs Of rising
life. There il no dying principle
in nature, for nature throughout
is unmixed life, which, concealed
behind the old. begins again and
develops itself.'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14

The Tigers have obtained Bing Mil
Ter from the Clinton club of the Cen
trail Association. Miller is an outtie!der
and led the league in batting with an
average of .:i31.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
Gibbons Knocks Out Martin.

BALTIMORE. Nd. March 14-Tom
Gibbons of st. Paul knocked out ST.
lent Martin of Brooklyn in the tenth
round here last night
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
Tim Thorpe Signs Giant Contract.

HOT SPRINGS, Ark, March 14.-Big
Jim Thorpe left here yesterday to join
the Giants at Marlin. Thorpe came
here from Oklahoma. had a heart-to-
heart talk with John McGraw and
signed
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
Shortstop Hornsby Finally
Signs With St. Louis Cards

ST. LOUIS. Mo. March IA
Rogers Hornsby, shortstop for
the ST. Louis Nationals, signed a
contract last night to play with
that club this season. according
to a telegram from President
Branch Hickey. who went to San
Antonio, Tex, last Sunday for n
conference with Hornsby. who
had threatened to be a holdout.
The salary agreement was not
stated.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
Gardner Picks AlI-Stars

Dave Gardner is out with the sug-
geston that some allstar teams be
picked from local bowlers just as all
star organizations are selected in foot
ball base ball, etc. 1t is Il good idea
and Gardeners letter with his seIec-
TONS. as starter. is herewith printed:
Now that we are in the midst of a
violent duckpin wave. why not have a
selection of an all-star Washington
team from the duck-shooters' ranks as
Wei as base ball and foot ball selec-
tons / submit the following:
Mccarthy. Maroons, National Capital
League; HALEY, Royals. District League;
stamford. Royals. District League/
Vaeth. Grand Centrals, District and
National Capital eagues; krauss,
Royals. District League.
These rollers look strong for a sec
ond team:
Watson, Navy No. /, Departmental
eague; Shanks. Newtons. Mount Pleasant
League; Carroll Navy No. . and Royals
No: :. Departmental and National Cap
ital Leagues: Lewis. Royals No >, Ma
tlonai Capital League; Mueller. Meridi-
ans. Mount Pleasant League
The scores:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14

McNickel of the National Capitals
placed another thorn in the side of the
1nglesides last night when he rolled
1856 set on the Georgetown alleys and
broke the seasons previous high set
record for league. held by Noack, who
got it while rolling for the Inglesides
McNickel toppled 11e pins in his OPEN
ing game, 100 in the second and then
got 139 in the third, a truly excellent
performance when it is considered that
few big scores are made on the alleys
on which he rolled. The National Capt.
tails took two out of three games with
the Potomac Bank five.
The Grand Centrals won three
straight from the Belmonts and Row
ais took two out of three from Garri-
sons in the District League matches
last night. Johnny Vaeth led the Grand
Centrals with counts of 121. ia and 124
Tor total of $50. Barber got the best
set registered by the Royals, topping
5oa/of the naples. Stanford was the
nigh game man, with 135. Haley and
krauss also got more than 100 in each
of their six games. Pop Wells came
through for Garrison with III, 123 and
113 scores.
Washington Canoe Club took a whip
ping from the Potomacs in the Nauti-
cal League, losing two out of three.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14

NATIONAL CAPITAL DUCKpIN LEAGUE.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-03-14
DISTRICT DUCKPIN LEAGUE.

Totals. 549 5G5 3D. Totals JOB 30; 4s7
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
NOTICE

Notice is hereby given that a gen. eral municipal election will be held in the town hall at Cordova, Alaska, on Tuesday, April 2, 1918. Polls will be open between the hours of 8 a. m. and p. m. There will be selected by the votes of the qualified electors of said Cordova, seven councilmen and a clerk of the school board, and a refer endum will be taken on an ordinance adopted by the town council granting the Cordoya Power Company, it's sue cessors and assigns, franchise to operate steam-heating plant in said town.
 The qualifications of a voter for councilman are as follows: He or she shall be citizen of the United States. or one who has declared his or her intention to become citizen of the United States, over 21 years of age, who has resided continuously one year next preceding the date of said cleo. tion within the territory of Alaska and in the town of CordoYa for the six months next preceding the date of said election.
 All adults, male and female, who are citizens of the United States, or who have declared their intention to be come citizens of the United States and who are residents of the town of Cordova, are qualified to vote for the clerk of the school board. EDWARD F. MEDLEY,
 Town Clerk
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

In the Probate Court for the Territory of Alaska, Third Division, Cordova Precinct, at Cordova. In the matter of the estate of Erma Bell Walker, deceased. No. 118. The undersigned Administrator of the Estate of Erma Bell Walker, de. ceased, hereby gives notice that all persons having claims against said Estate are admonished and required to present the same with the proper vouchers to the undersigned Admin trator of said Estate, or to the Judge of the above named Probate Court, at Cordova, Alaska.
 Dated at Cordova, Alaska, this 18th day of March, 1918.
 D. w. WALKER, Administrator of the Estate of Erma Bell Walker, Deceased. First publication March IA, 1918. Last publication April IS, 1918.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
ORDINANCE NO. 56.

To select judges for and hold an cleo tion, for selection of candidates for territorial offices and delegate to congress from Alaska.
 Be it ordained by the Common Coun. cil of the Town of Cordova, Alaska: Section 1. That a primary election in accordance with Chapter 4S, Ses- sion Laws of Alaska, 1917, be held in the Town of Cordova. Alaska, between the hours of o'clock a. m. and T o'clock D. m. on Tuesday, April 30, 1918.
 Section 2. That the polling places for said election shall be the second floor of the City Hall on Second Avenue, in said Cordova
 Section 3. That the Judges of said election shall be c. S. Breton. Ben Osborne and F. H. Foster; and the Clerks of said election shall be H. B. Wolking and c. M. Rosswog.
 This ordinance shall be published once in the Cordova Daily Times, and shall become effective and in force on and after the date of its passage. Introduced, March IS, 1918. Rules suspended, March IS, 1918. Approved March 13, 1918. Crown SeaD
 W. H. CHASE, Attest: Mayor EDWARD F. MEDLEY,
 Clerk.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

duration of the war, agreeing to serve uhoeF the United States shipping board If he is of draft age, he is auto. matieally exempt from military serv. Ice. The government places him on q ship when he has completed his training Tn some position which he has preferred or for which he has shown particular aptitude-seaman. 'ireman' coaler, oilor, water-tender. cook or steward Six weeks of train- Ing on the vessels of the Calvin Austin type qualities him for service on T merchantmen, with his legal status assured
 Ai'er two years of service subse- quent to his graduation the recruit many enter one of the shipping boards free schools in navigation. of which thirty are in operation along the coasts ana at the Great Lakes, and here he may lit himself for officers license, rising in few years to the command Of vessel while still in his early twenties. During his training on the Calvin Austin and other vessels of this fleet the recruit receives 80 q month.
 
 Thls merchant marine will be thor oughly American. Only Americans are accepted as recruits. The new mer- clntiie fleet will hot have Spanish mess boys, Greek stokers, Chinese cooks, or Norwegian deck hands. Elimination of this foreign representa- ton on American vessels is one of the United States shipping boards aims.
 While all this is in progress, the country's maritime organizations are cooperating in a campaign of sea education" in the interior of the United States. This has it's object, the infiltration of the idea that federal legislation is necessary to keep the American flag throughout the world when the war is over These mari time authorities fear that the congress at Washington, during the future peace days, will be indifferent and that the vicissitude of politics" will permit another degeneration of Amer ica's merchant marine through failure to encourage the present development. For this reason the special drive on the interior is being made-not only with an eye to the future but for the purpose, meanwhile, of obtaining re- cruits for the sea training of today. At the present time this campaign is centered in Kansas
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
NOTICE.

United States of America, Territory of
 Alaska, ss, to A. F. Stowe:
 You are hereby notified that we nave expended during the year 1916 three hundred dollars in labor and i'm proYements upon the Big f." Moi. fett and Grows Nest" lode mining cl& ms, known as the Big TOUT group, whlch are contiguous and in one group, situate on right limit of Chitti- stone river, about eight miles from the mouth thereof, in Nizina mining dis trlct' Chitina recording precinct, Al aska, the location certificates of which are found of record in book g, pages AZ, l43 and IA in the office of the recorder of Chitina recording precinct, at McCarthy, Alaska, in order to hold sald claims under the provisions of section 2324 of the Revised Statutes of the united States, and the amend menlS thereto, approved January 22nd, l8So' concerning annual labor upon mining claims, being the amount re- qulred to hold said lodes for the period ending on the 31st day of Dec 1916. And 1T within ninety days from the personal service of this notice, or within ninety days after the publica- tion thereof, you fail or refuse to con trlbute your proportion of such ex. pehalture as co-owner, which amounts to seventy-five dollars, your interest in said claims will become the property of the subscribers, your co-oWners. who have made the requir- ed expenditures, by the terms of said section.
 J. J. MILLER.
 OSCAR HANSON.
 First publication January 22, 1918, ast DubIieafio DriI 1QIQ
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
ORDER SETTING TIME FOR HEAR. ING PETITION AND GIVING
 NOTICE

in the District Court for the Territory
 of Alaska, Third Division.-Iu the
 Matter of the Alteration of the
 boundaries of, tbe enlargement of
 the corporate limits of. and the an.
 nexation of new territory 70 the
 town of Cordova, Alaska, incor-
 porated
 A petition having this day been pre- sented to the above entitled court for the purpose of instituting proceedings resuired by law for the annexation of territory, therein described, to the 'n- corporated town of Cordova. Alaska. and it appearing to the court that said petition is signed by enough qualified electors of said town to constitute more than one-fifth of the number of votes cast at the last municipal cleo. tion held in said town, and by more than five actual residents or owners of substantial property interests in land or possessory rights in land or tide land or improvements upon land or tide land within the limits of the territory so proposed to be annexed and in cOrporated within the limits of the cor. pOrate town of Cordova aforesaid, said petition setting forth the boundar- ies of the territory so proposed to be annexed to said town, and being veri- fled by two of the signers of said peti, tion, and having attached thereto a plat based upon an actual survey by a competent surveyor, setting forth the limits and boundaries thereof by metes and bounds, and stating the number of inhabitants therein:
 Now, therefore, It appearing to the court that said petition is in the form and substance required by law,
 It is ordered and deereed that said petition be heard and considered by the court on the 18th day of April. 1918, at 10 o'clock a. m. of said day. at the court room of this court in either NdIuGAy AldShdy UT SdIu SOIuONd, II SdLu day be a day of jurisdiction in said court, or if the same be not a day of jurisdiction, then said hearing shall be held on the first day of jurisdiction thereafter. It is further ordered that notice of such hearing be given by posting printed or typewritten copies of this order in three conspicuous places within the limits of the cor porate town of Cordova, Alaska, and by posting such copies in three con spicuous places within the limits of the territory so proposed to be an nexed to and incorporated within the limits of said town of Cordoya, and by publishing a copy of this order for four consecutive weeks in the Cordoya Daily Times, daily newspaper of gen. eral circulation published in said town of Cordova, such publication to be made in said newspaper once each week until five publications have been made.
 Dated at Cordova. Alaska, this 11th day of March, 1918.
 FRED NJ. BROWN.
 District Judge
 March 12.1S-95-Anr J-9
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

From all reports a housekeeping is needed at Mccarthy and this state ment in view of the fact that it may be construed as an unpatriotic ut terance, as the federal officials there are all administration appointees.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21
Under the Clam Shell

The employees of the clam and sal mon plants on the ocean dock say that it's pity that territory is not now annexed to the corporate limits as they are interested in seeing the en- tire Cordova ticket, which stands for good government elected at the mum icipal election.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Some men are down to the level where they are good for nothing on earth but to pick out flaws. And that profession is so overcrowded that they cant command living wages.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

4 New York man sent his wife a Chow dog for a wedding present, with a c. 0. D. for $10O attached. She had him arrested for being insane. The jury could no nothing but agree that he was away off.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Maybe the reason Von Hindenburg is so slow about starting his drive is because he cant get his propaganda to work out right
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Political canards are now being cir culated but are checked up so quickly that they will prove a boomerang to the candidates or their friends circu- 1ating them.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Congressman Rainey of Illinois thinks Fuel Administrator Garfield has done more for his country than some United States senators. How man can say such a thing after looking at a senator passes all imagination.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

A certain young lady says she dreamed last night she had dropped a stitch in the sweater she was knit ting, and when she awoke she was unraveling her union suit
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

A fashion critic says fat women display poor taste when they wear short skirts. She might have made it stronger by saying bad form"
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Another good thing about the wide bottom trousers the sailor boy wears is he can reach the seat of the trouble when he feels his socks coming down
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

If you don't register before Satur- day night you will have no voice in the election April 2, neither have you a kick coming as to who is elected to fill the city offices. Get the point?
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Austria is said to be demanding that King Ferdinand of Roumania abdicate in favor of his brother. But maybe his brother is a Republican?
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

The Russians probably signed their peace treaty in the dark for the req son that they will have time to read it during the millennium.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Bargain Notice-For sale one four foot fireproof safe, three National cash registers. Adress Prospector, Valdez
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Martial law in Poland may add to the inconveniences of the Poles, but not to their pride, supposing they have any left.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

aHFrgain Notice-For sa;e one four. foot tireproof safe, three National cash registers. Adress Prospector. Valdez.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Some of the shipbuilding contrac- tors say they are losing money. Why don't they quit contracting and go to carpentering
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Switzerland faces a food famine Nothing like being conventional.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Even if reporters could understand them, what the Armenians are saving about the Russians wouldn't be fit to print.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

The steamer Northwestern, leaving Seattle on Sunday, will bring a biz bunch of girls to Cordova. the home of the clam industry.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Not to be outdone by any other towns, Cordova now has it's waterless
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Alaska is a territory of infinite re- sources, but strange as it may seem rain is not one that Cordova can brag about.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Cordova is at least metropolitan to the extent of being able to stage a vaudeville show that will be a hum dinger
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Porkless Saturday has been abolish ed, except for those who haven't the price.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

days, notwithstanding the fact that the territory is bone dry.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Another thing-how would it do to compel every cigar smoker to carry whisk broom to keep himself dusted?
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Quakers and queens, Quakers and queens-if you don't raise gardens you will have to buy beans.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Our idea of a gross materialist is one who always imagines the martyr is making money out of it.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Now that Colonel Roosevelt is abie to leave the hospital, how would it do to hide his megaphone from him ?
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Sometimes it looks like every time John Barleycorn sees a toboggan he takes ride.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

Another thing-will the Browning machine gun be adopted by the ladies literary clubs?
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

As a general thing, the man with the simplest tastes is the one who has to do his own cooking
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

First publication January 22, 1918, Last publication April 2, 1918.
The Cordova daily times., 1918-03-21

days, notwithstanding the fact that the territory is bone dry.
 The Russians probably signed their peace treaty in the dark for the req son that they will have time to read it during the millennium.
 Maybe the reason Von Hindenburg is so slow about starting his drive is because he cant get his propaganda to work out right.
 Martial law in Poland may add to the inconveniences of the Poles, but not to their pride, supposing they have any left.
 Some of the shipbuilding contrac- tors say they are losing money. Why don't they quit contracting and go to carpentering
 The steamer Northwestern, leaving Seattle on Sunday, will bring a biz bunch of girls to Cordova, the home of the clam industry.
 Cordova is at least metropolitan to the extent of being able to stage d vaudeville show that will be a hum- dinger
 Even if reporters could understand them, what the Armenians are saying about the Russians wouldn't be fit to print.
 Alaska is a territory of infinite re- sources, but strange as it may seem rain is not one that Cordova can brag about.
 Another thing-how would it do to compel every cigar smoker to carry whisk broom to keep himself dusted?
 Now that Colonel Roosevelt is abie to leave the hospital, how would it do to hide his megaphone from him ?
 Quakers and queens, Quakers and queens-if you don't raise gardens you will have to buy beans.
 Our idea of a gross materfalist is one who always imagines the martyr is making money out of it.
 As a general thing, the man with the simplest tastes is the one who has to do his own cooking
 Another thing-will the Browning machine gun be adopted by the ladies literary clubs?
 Sometimes it looks like every time John Barleycorn sees a toboggan he takes a ride.
 Porkless Saturday has been abolish ed, except for those who haven't the price.
 Switzerland faces a food famine Nothing like being conventional.
 Bargain Notice-For sale one four foot fireproof safe, three National cash registers. Adress Prospector, Valdez