The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-02-16
DoRoTHY DIX TALKS
Breaking Off a Match.
By DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid woman Writ

There are few families that naVs.
not at some time or other been con-
froEted by the problem of two young
hearts that beat fondly but i'll advised
ly, and that have not wished that there
was a professional match breaker, as
there is a professional strike breaker,
who could be hired to nip loves young
dream in the bud
Perhaps a daughter has fallen IN
love with man whom everybody but
she can see is utterly unworthy, ana
who will break her heart and wreck
her life il she marries him.
Or it may be a son who has be
come infatuated with some girl OF low
degree without education OF eultlva-
ton, or with some woman with a
shadowy past, of whom he will tire
and be ashamed as soon as her beauty
has faded and his passing infatuatlon-
is over.
The families of the headstrong
young people know that they should
be saved from making these fatal mar
riages@that they should be rescued
from lifelong misery in spite OF their
determination to plunge into it-but
the question is how to do it, The stu
alton is as acute as if one saw loved
one walking in his sleep on the verge
of a precipiee, and yet dared not put
out a straining hand, or even to cry
out a word of warning, for fear OF
precipitating the very accident one is
trying to prevent
In olden times when children were
more under authority than they are
now, it was the custom in such cases
to lock the girl up in her room and
feed her on bread and water until she
came to her senses, or to disinher1t
the son if he persisted in marrying IN
opposition to his parents wishes.
Alas, this good old plan is now
obsolete No physical restraint is to
be thought of in connection with the
modern athletic maiden, who would
merely climb over the transon or
down the fire escape to get to her
Romeo if anyone tried the Yale lock
plan of breaking up a match on her.
Indeed, as matter of fact love has
always laughed at 1ocksmiths, and
parents who essay TO keep Cupid out
via the barred door route have to use
coercion.
OF course in cases where fathers are
Merchant Princes, Coal Barons and
Packing House Kings the threat to
dis:nher1t a son who desires to marry
outside of the gilded estate may be
effective. 1t is an idle jest where the
young man supports himself and ex-
poets to support his wife, as most
American youths do, without any help
from papa, and where all that papa
will have to leave him when he dies
will be his Blessing.
capped in dealing 4 with the love af-
fairs of their children. They realize
with despair that they have no juris-
dietion over the hearts of their foolish
young ones, and SO they stand help
less1y by and watch the son or daugh-
ter, who is dearer than life to them.
take the fatal step that plunges him
or her into lifelong misery.
OF coure not every ill advised
match can be broken up, but most of
ff1r1r t.xrf y1ca Of
and diplomacy. The reason why pa
ents so seldom succeed in this deli
cate task is because they go at it with
axe and blunderbuss. They begin by
high handedly forbidding Arabe1la to
marry her Edwin, or Edwin to espouse
his Arabella, and this autocratic pro-
ceeding rouses all the fighting blood
| in the natures of Edwin and Arabella
1t makes of them rebels, determined to
| assert their independence, and show
mother and father that they are not
children but grown ups, who have got
a right to do as they please even if
they please to make a fool marriage
Another fatal blunder that parents
make is in openly opposing a match
of which they disappreve. Nothing
fans the flame of love as does oppo-
sition. just as nothing snnethers it out
| as does 700 much Willingness. No
man or woman ever fell in love with
the husband or wife that their family
picked out for them, and few ever
give up the one they are in love with
| because their family objects to him
| or her.
The minute. you make girl feel
| that her sweetheart is unjastIy judged
and criticized you make her his
champion and she is UP in arms to
| fight for him. The minute you make
| a man feel that the girl he loves is
the victim of your prejudice, he feels
it incumbent on him to chivalreusly
protect her.
On the other hand. while the young
VIII resent any criticism of theif
choice they nearly always succumh
before ridicule deity applied. Tha,
/ for no boy or. girl can endure the
thought of being laughed at, or OF
having anyone he or she is interested
in appear as a figufe of fun to the
public.
You may recall that when all of a
mothers prayers and tears. and en-
I treaties, and all the resources of I'M
answerable' logic, had failed to win
Arthur Pendennis from his infatua-
! ton for the beautiful but impossible
actress, that the astute old Major
Pendennis was called in.
He did not argue with the lad over
the uf1suitability of the match, or its
inevitable disastrous consequences. He
merely glanced over one of the lady's
/ letters and casually remarked Il see
that she spells affection with oneN f u
and that did what no moral suasion
could effect. The boy could stand the
Thought of marrying a woman whose
morals were not above reproach. but
when it came to marrying one whose
spelling was rickety, and would max
people smile, it couldn't be done.
The same principle may be applied
with equal success today. The CIR
| who will not balk at marrying a
drunkard, or a gambler, or a roue
and who will turn a deaf ear to any
objections to her sutton on account OF
his morals, can be thoroly cured Of
her infatuation by calling her atten-
ton to his 1apses in grammar or man.
ners girl may forgive a man fol
being a bigamist, but never for eating
peas with his knife. or picking his
4 teeth in public.
A man is equally easily disillusiened
and knew one cynical oId ha obaIo,