, 1918-09-26
BY CLARENCE B. HOLLAND.

Paris.-A man can be only so
frightened. After that he dies sudden
ly, OIL laughs, or both. Also, no mat
ter how scared you are, curiosity sur
Wives
If a shell is coming. you want to see
1t land. If it is going to swat you, you
want to see how it goes about it.
We were going back from the front
back. The battle was behind us.
Privately each one of us didn't care
how much farther behind us 1t got. 1t
could pick up it's belongings and move
away from us as fast as we were NOV
ing away from it If it wanted. No.
body would hear a protest from any of
us.
At a crossroads our meteoric prog
ress was halted by a young and severe
soldier with NJ. P. on his sleeve.
you can't pass" he said; they're
Smelling the road ahead"
He didn't need to tell us. We knew
1t. AS a matter of fact we could have
told him things about that road being
shelled that he would never know.
A shell came screaming over our
heads to "wham" down alongside the
road a hundred yards beyond. 1t
wasn't a big shell. In a calmer mo-
ment. and at a greater distance, 1
might have admitted that 1t was a lit
tie shell. an insignificant shell, a neg
ligible three-inch shell. But when 1t
went over my head l was willing to
take oath that 1t was a AZ centimeter.
When I was dug out of the ditch into
which I had dived and the mud
scraped out of my eyes I took a last
look down the road.
Cap as Shock Absorber.
Something was paining me in the re-
gion of the knees. Also there was a
sound resembling hat made by Broth
err Bones in the minstrel show. Minute
examination demonstrated that the
pain was caused by the knees assault
ing each other venomously. / stuck
my cap between them as q shock abb
sorber and looked again.
1t was a busy little road. 1t was not
a popular road. Everybody on it had
taken a dislike to it and was moving
away with enthusiasm. In the dis
lance were three German prisoners
and one American private. The pri-
vate was on a horse. 1t looked a very
fast horse, but the Germans were hav-
ing trouble with it. 1t kept getting in
their way. They stumbled over it.
"Wham" came another shell. It's
explosion was almost drowned out by
the sounds Of conclusion at my side.
They were caused by the beating to-
gether of the knees of the driver of
the Y. NJ. G. A. car and by those of
a buck private. Their note was differ
ent, and the meter dissimilar. but the
quite make out which accomplished the
most knocks to the minute, nor which
was loudest.
Several ration carts were approach
ing. 1t was no slow, dignifed, matron-
ly progress. Anybody who believes a
team Of mules Is incapable of speed
should have been there to see. The ra-
ton carts were filed with hard tack.
The hard tack was as scared as any
thing else, and was trying to keep up
to the cart-but IT was out of luck.
1t had no arms to hang on with. The
air was full of hard tack. 1t flowed
put behind those ration carts like a
ribbon. 1t was a snowstorm of hard
tack. and nobody paused to ask where
1t fell.
bitches Are Popular.
Every ditch was intellectually popu-
lar. It didn't have to be a deep ditch
nor a clean ditch. Any common or
gnrden variety of ditch would do. A
six-foot man was perfectly able to o N
ceal himself In a six-inch ditch. Heads
would poke up. and another shell
would land. Immediately 1t would be-
come a scene of desolation. a lifeless
waste.
After awhile an airplane went over
head to locate the battery that was
causing all the rumpus. Then the bat
terry stopped.
go ahead" said the NJ. P. They're
through now"
He Is the last M. p. l shall ever be-
| iIeve. This Is positive. He meant well,
and spoke the truth according to bis
lights, tut his lights were lin We