Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-11-02
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Saving Money
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NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Il have found" remarked Mrs. Tur'
pentins. that it pays to buy groceries
and provisions in bulk. This thing OF
buying a pound OF this and pound
Of that y mos, expensive"
( III suppose you are right" observed
Mrs. Curfew, but such schemes. al
Tho Endorsed by statesmen and pre-
hates aud other great thinkers. never
seem to work out right IN our house.
THE other evening when Mr.. Cur
few came home he brought along
bis ham he had purchased a; @e meat
/ market. He pointed out that he had
saved more than dollar by buying ii
whole ham at once. Buying slice at
time. as we have been doing. IS
wasteful be said. and waste at this
critical time is vicious and criminal
Il agreed with him and told him he
should set up early next morning and
hew Off two or three slices OF the ham.
for two lady friends Of mine, highly
3 educated and refined sehUolteachers.
were staying over night with us, and
/ wanted to give them good break
fast. Whea | went TO the kitchen in
the morning Mr. Curlow WAS laborins
with the ham. He had it on the kitch.
en- table and lie was trying 20 hack
thru 4 bone with a Ratchet.
lie Was covered with uerspiration
and Was blowing on his thumb, which
he had hit with the Ratchet. He said
that the butcher who sold him that
haM was a pirate and ought TO be in
the penilentiary. ! supposed | was
buying ham from hos he said.
but this blamed thing is part Of a
rhinoceios. No hog ever had bone
six inches thick in its mind leg. The
animal tina frrn'ehed this ham must
have been trolg,t from Africa ty
some biz 1me un,tr nr ,Nplort r.
Where is oUr old hdndgaw'"
81 Told him where II WAS and he
found it, II was an covered with rust.
and lie cleaned ii with Il rag dipped IN
coal oil and then put the ham on a
chair and rested his knee on il to hold
i steady and began saving. !
begged him to quit, Tor he was grow
ttg more indignant every minute, and
when his anger reaches certain tenn
teratufe he doesn't care a tiAkers
yfcayune what he says. or who hears
h1m.
"rhe ham slipped from under his
hpee, and he ran the saw against his
ahin. and then he danced around the
Kitchen on one leg, folding the injured
one to his bosom. and began express
Ing his sentiments in language child
could understand. Just then the two
school teachers stepped into the kitch-
en- to see what the celebration was
about, and was 30 ashamed
Wished | could sink thru the floor
and hide In the coal cellar.
The three OF US finally managed
" Stk Lila CuOkSu NONH, iuust say
those schoolmarms were good sports,
They told Mr.. Curtew they didn't
blame him for stormlng around under
such circumstances and soothed and
cheered him so we'll that he tackled
the ham again, with knife, saw and
Ratchet, and managed TO hew off two
or three ragged slices, an inch thick
In some places, and as thin as tissue
paper n others.
II cooked them, ard We sat down to
breakfast and found that the ham
tasted of Kerosene, as a result of
cleaning the saw. Then the school
teachers couldn't hold in any longer.
ana they unleashed some untimely
mcrriment. Mr.. Curfew got up from
the table and took the ham ard threw
It into the alley, where lot of dogs
began quarreling over it quite scandal
ousy.
Every economical shcme VIC try in
our house works out this way, and |
assure you, Mrs. Turpenlne, that
there are times when feet dis.
outraged
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