davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01
HIGHBROWS TEST NEW FOOD

fl. f. Dawes, superintendent of
short courses at State College, recent.
ly appeared at a faculty meeting with
samples of a new food which he had
prepared for the occasion at Gullick's
Cafe. 1t looked like a cross between
pigs brains and sliced fried egg plant.
Mr.. Dawes assured them that it was
~innocuous, begged them to trust him
and pass their scientific Judgment.
DR.. G. l.. Brown, acting president,
gingerly took a piece and daintily
munched it. DR.. n. f. Hansen, accus-
toned to the eats and drinks of dark
est Siberia, partook with his usual
sang-froid. DR.. Hume, being in the
secret, grabbed a slice and ate with
a~gronOmistic carelessness. Editor
Starring, who never can be bluffed,
assumed all of the high brow insouci-
ance of the doctors who preceded him
and knit his brOws in deep thought
as he tested the sample. Other Of the
highbrows, greater and lesser, trust
ing in Dawes former reputation for
integrity, did their part as jurors.
But one slice cooked less than the
others revealed the secret of the sub
stance, it was nothing but green corr
smut cooked in grease and corn meal.
The verdict was that the taste resem-
bled anything from mushrooms to
sweetbreads according to the magma
ton of the individual. And while no
one doubted the edibility of the dish
and had confidence in Mr.. Dawes as
a plant pathologist. there seemed TO
be a united opinion that smut would
never attain any great degree Of pop
ularity or supercede the other legit.
innate uses of the corn plant. None
of the samplers have experienced any
discomfort as far as reported, but all
have been chewing gum assiduous!y
to get the memory of the imaginary
taste out of their mouths.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01
NEW POULTRY PROFESSOR

E. l.. Dakan of the University of
Missouri has been secured as profess
sor Of poultry husbandry at South Da-
kota State College. Mr.. Dakan is a
practical farmer, is a graduate of the
University of Missouri, has been on
assistant in the poultry department at
the University of Missouri since his
graduation. and has had several years
of farm practice. He is now superin-
tending the erection of the new poui-
try plant at the college as provided
for by the last legislature.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01
A OF A

The state of trade over the country
reported by Bradstreet's for last week
shows war activity. Government con
troll extending. Civilian business
good for midsummer. War essentials
active. Non-essentials curtailed by
lack of fuel, labor and supplies. Crop
situation better. but still spotted. La
Dor FESTIVE. Earning power beyond
precedent. Record live stock prices.
Money tight. Crop moving calls funds.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01

Prof. and Mrs. Manley Champlin
and two children left Sunday in their
auto for the home of Mrs. Champlin's
parents at Orient. and the professor
will put in his vacation of a couple
of weeks working OF the farm and as
sisting in taking car of the crops.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01
The Carefullest Man in the World
By IRVING BACHELOR

The Springs works done an it's up to the sun-al the crops an the garden sass
He's banished the cold an sowed his gold on the flats in the medder grass.
Let's raise the flag better one was never yet unfured-
But first want to tell We bout the Caeulest Man lin the World.
Kings are kind o. careessIke with others blood an bone,
But no one can, swear to man! be Carehuner o their own.
When read about the German dead before the heated guns
l think O. the King of Germany with six uninjured sons.
Each hreade has it's martyrs who have either died or bhd;
The millions greve for the sons who leave an join the host o the dead,
But the Kasers brood is safe an sound it either shrks or runs-
He's the only man in Germany with six uninjured sons.
The halt an blind an crippled line its byways an its roads;
Once swift and strong, they creep along meath everlashn' loads,
An some with crippled inteIecs still hear the roann' guns,
Yd: there's a King in Germany with six mnjured sons.
Such caution n a fghtn' man was never seen before;
1t stands the while like a lonesome isle in a mighty sea o gore,
The death an woe he recommends ta all the other Huns
Is not for hm-you bet you life his unlrJured sons.
Each Hohenzone1n battles in a steel clad limousine,
When the big shells come he's going some on legs o gasoline;
Oh! speeds the great pperver O the Kaiser an his sons.
They're like the bold jackrabbt an other tribes accursed
Who have Hghtnin' in their snews an the motto Safety first
All clear the road an stan squaretoed an look with rested guns
When the Kaiser starts for safety with his fat uninjured sons.
While hunger starves the German host, how fat the KaEsers brood!
No gizzards yearn with cash to burn or mind the price o food.
When the trumpet calls the Teuton dead in the line o crippled Huns
Just think O the Kaiser marchin' up with six uninjured sons!
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01
BAND CONCERT

w. s. s.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01

/ March-On the Western Front
........... ........... Hildreth
2 Superba Dalbey
3 (a) A Fairy Tale .Bendix
(b) Spanish Serenade ...... Holmes
4 Waltz Suite-Impassioned Dream.
...'.'..'.... .'.''.'''..'. ieon"'
5 (a) A Baby's Prayer at Twilight.
(b) What Kind of an American Are
You! ........... ..............
6 Overture-The Sky Pilot. .Laurens
Z Shadowland Gilbert
8 March-Semper Fields ......Sousa
Star Spangled Banner
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1918-08-01

Following is the program of the
band oncer to be given Friday even
ing, Aug. q:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
EASY TO MlsJuDeE CHILDREN
Youngsters Called "stupid" in EARLY
Years Have Later Been Found
Possessed Of Genius

Let ME remind you of the sufferingS
of the stupid" child. Real stupidity
is Il great affliction, but one which
rarely receives the sympathy it stands
SO much in need Of. Now, many chill
dren who are thought stupid are not
stupid ut all. They may have certain
defects Of Il physical nature which n
be remedied, or their schooling and ed
ucation in general is of Il kind that
is not adapted to their special needs.
If Juggling with figures, enormously
called arithmetic, is made IL test of in
%telligence, then the constructive or ~
tistic genius of a child may remain I'M
discovered; and if parents and teach
ers judge those children to be bright
who can. by sO-called parsing, arrange
the dead bones of the language in ar
tificial order, or who shine out from
the others by brilliant recitations and
unchildlike discussions of adult prob
lens ut graduation exercises, then the
dreamer. the philosopher and the poet
will pass for ounces.
1t is only too true that many of our
greatest minds have been considered
absolute failures during their school
career, not to say in the homes of thcil
childhood. How many of them had to
assert their native %excellency against
the most violent resistance OF those
who were too blind to perceive the di.
vine spark in their children's souls?-
DR.. MaNimilian p. II. GrosZemann in
June Humanitarian.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
What Railroads Are F1ghttling For
From tho Review Of Reviews.

Some comment in railway and financial circles was caused bv
the decision to do without the services of two such prominent and
able men men as a Daniel Willard and Samuel Rsa, presidents of the Bati-
gentlemen will be retained by the stockholders of their corporations
and will have much important work to do in negotiating with the
for their rental and use by the nation.
Although the roads were taken over by the government six
months ago, not a single contract has yet been signed designating the
exact sums to be paid any railroad for its Sc; On June 6 there was a
meeting Of more than 100 high railroad officials. relieved bv Mr.
McAdoo Of operating work, with representative of the security
holders of their roads, to discuss the matter of a uniform agreement
with the government as to compensation.
These representatives of the private owners of the railroads are
attempting to carry three important points in their final compen-
sation agreements:
~ Thai the rental paid be exactly that suggested by the
president-the average net income of the three years ending with
1917. The government wishes to describe the standard Of return as
'no more than this average income.
() The roads ask that any maintenance expenditures in excess
Of the average Of the three years be paid by the government.
81 The railroad representatives oppose any charges against
them for additions that cannot be used by the roads after the war.
1t is expected that before very long a blanket form of contract
between the roads and the government will be agreed on to cover the
great majority of the lines.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

those stifened joints, that backache. rAeu-
@ era : "b 5side's Sast, Ss's e / 1 fay at. sfs"s =:
effective remedy for all diseases Of The
bladder, kidney, liver, stomach and allied
organs.
GOLD MEDAL HARLEM Oil Capsules
cleanse the kidneys and purify the blood,
They frequently. ward off attacks of the
dangerous and fatal diseases of the hid.
neys. They have a beneficial effect. and
often completely cure the diseases Of the
bodily organs, allied with the bladder and
kidneys.
If you are troubled with sorcncss across
the loins or with simple aches and pains
in the back take warning, it may he the
preliminary indications Of some dreadful
malady which can be warded of or cured
if taken in time.
Go to your druggist today and get n box
of GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules.
Money refunded il they do not help you.
Three sizes. GOLD MEDAL are the pure,
original imported HARLEM OH Capsules.
Accept No Substitutes.-Adv.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Britain More United Than Ever
Before.

(Cheers). The attempt will fail, as every
attempt to s%ubjugate The world to a
be. that that object is unattainable.
single will has failed, from the time of
the Roman empire to the time of Napo-
leon. The liberty loving nations of the
world will fight on Indefinitely (cheers)
for their ideal Of a world commonwealth
of free nations, as opposed to that of
the new Roman empire. and so every
fresh German success means, not the full
filment of German alnbitions-that is
absolutely intolerable and unthinlkable-
but a further prolongation of the war.
But we have to recognize that attempts
to subiugate the world to a single will
have i'll the past gone a long way and
may go a long way again on the road
to success. and that this day and hour
are the climax OF Germany's power.
Therefore we have to fight as VIC never
fought before in all our history, to fight,
as our great, noble French allies are
fighting, with every ounce of their
strength, until the great reserves which
the cause OF freedom still possesses have
had time to be fully modified.
1 see that the German minister Of war
is sneering at those reserves, which he
thinks are inconsiderablc. He laughs best
who laughs last. and / think that he viii!
live to regret those sneers. But do not
let anybody think for a moment that. if
1 speak with hope and confidence OF the
help which we may get from others, and
especially from America (cheers). we arc
on thu account abating one jot or title OF
our own effort. Dur total war effort has
never been greater, it hss never been sc
great as it is today; 2 not only oul
total war effort, but our effort in placing
fresh fighting men in the field. If ! coult
tell you-as of course I must do-tht
numbers Of men whom we have put into
the field since this great battle began
and the numbers which we are putting i!
and are going to put in in the immediate
future. they would astonish you. No
that those numbers are enough; no effor
can be enough when everything in thu
world Is at stake; but they do at lcas
show that, while we a absolute faitl
and confidence in our allies, they ar
justified in the confidence which the!
place in us. (Cheers).
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
KIDNEYS MEAN
A WEAK BODY

When you're fifty, your body begins to
creak a little at the hinges Motion is
more slow and deliberate. mot so young
as 1 used to be" is a frequent and unwel-
come Thought. Certain bodily functions
upon which good health and good spirits
so much depend, are impaired. The weak
spot is generally the bladder. Unpleasant
symptoms show themselves. Painful and
annoying. complications in other organs
arise. This is particularly true with ell
derby people: If YOU only know how, this
trouble can be obviated.
For over 200 years GOLD MEDAL
HARLEM Oil has been relieving the in
convenience. and pain due to advancing
years. 1t is a standard, old-time home
remedy, and needs no introduction. 1t is
now put up in odorless, tasteless capsules.
These are easier and more pleasant to take
than the oil in bottles.
Each capsule contains about one dose of
five drops. Take them just like you would
any pill, with a small swallow Of water:
They soak into the system and throw off
the poisons which are making you old be-
fore your time. They will quickly relieve
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Your Stomach !
In the Summer II iiIl1e

it is good news to tell you hay
tens Of thousands arc now using
EATONIC-for all stomach and
bowel ailments caused by too
much acidity with such truly WON
derful results that every one
should always have it in the house.
EATON1C Tablets stop the cause OF
%indigestive and dyspeptic ailments by
neutralizing the poisonous fluids, actd1
and gases largely the result Of s:5rGY-
acidity. This makes the stomach
pain-free and ready to perform it,
proper work.
You can have a good appetite in hot
weather to eat the things you like
when you want them il you take one
or two EATONIC Tablets after each
meal. Such quick, wonderful re!icf
would seem unbelievable but for the
fact that thousands OF sufferers every.
where have received marvellous results
from EATONIC. Obtain q large bog
of EATONIC Tablets from your Own
druggist who you know and cantsast.
Ii they fail, go back to him and !,e viii
gladly refund your money. DO this
today. You will then know Whist real
stomachcomfortm eanaiu hot weather.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Secretjve.

The old farmer had read the repeat
ed warnings about keeping his knowl-
edge to himself during the war, lest
information of value might get into the
ears of n Hun spy. So when an atfuble
stranger approached him with Il smile
and looked like he would enjoy Il lit
tile commonplace conversation. the old
fellow was ready for him.
Looks like 1t would rain, doesn't
it:' suggested The pleasant one.
Its looked like that afore, an
didn't snapped the farmer.
Had any rain in these parts late
ly7-"
See here. Young Teller" reared The
food producer, II don't know who you
be. an g%oslldinged if I'm agoin' to give
III, any information like that without
l do
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Women Police for New York.
From the New York Evening sul

NAS
Rodman Wanamaker. epecial deputy
police commissioner of New York city,
in command Of the police reserve, mas
sent a order to Sc captains of the police
department to organize In their precincts
units of the women's police reserve. IN
spectors will be in charge of recruiting.
Since the recent police parade hundreds
of letters have been received by MT.
Wanamaker from women seeking to az
filiate with the womcn's reserve. There
now is q nucleus of several hundred for
this corps and the police believe 1t Will
not be difficult to enroll 10000 m
The order was approved by Richard II.
1nright, police commissioner, after a con-
ference with Mr.. Wanamaker. 1t says:
You will organize in each pricinct
within your district a unit Of women
police reserves, to be made up of patriotic
women who desire to render helpful ana
patriotic work at this time.
Zone competent woman will be as
signed to command. whose duties will be
equivalent to thai of n police reserve
captain.
1.-THE duties Of the women police reserve
will be to carry on the auxiliary Red
Cross work now being done by the
cincts; to be vigilant and alert in their
respective localities; to discover irregular
n unlawful conditions. and to report the
same to this department; to teach patriot
ism and civic duty and aid in the Amert-
canization Of the alien element OF the
population; to detect and report cases OF
d~isloyalty and sedition. relieve cases Of
distress n destitution. comfort the un-
fortunate, advise and direct the weak,
foolish and idle. and set an example OF
usefulness and patriotic devotion. Morn
bers of the women's reserve can be very
useful also in looking after boys and girls
who ma be prone to be delini.cnt, In
Keeping bad company or pursuing a course
that would lead to crime"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Lessons Of War.
rom the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
non, ~. ,a..on. this wa, &c teaching.
among 1he LESSONS enis wa, 40 - s,d'
apart from the main curriculum OIL SUI.
den death and fortit ide and democracy
may be included optional courses in geog-
r.nhv and ethnolooy The public is be-
49,. no -. ,.xar hefora a, Finland.
co"lns @"a' IS ~ oI ~Ss
for instance, Serbia ana siberia ana
Turkestan. And since the early days of
Anril. when an entire Portuguese force,
n.ro,c.uv ohev,rs. a "No surrender" COM
mans ~, a,,,sa ~. tha nnh,ic has been
mana. was m ~ ot', $500 me aU. n.s =" anon
vasue,y aWa.e ma. sol.usa. VS. f,ahtine
the allies ana that ner men were ''sn'''s
va,iantly on .ne western ean,a aron'' DC charles
one vaguely awaIe, however. a. snane
raua brown; VINO Ie.urnsa Iec emu. ,p
roItusa w OF en.nusaas M s a,1 reia.
Ms.ion anu TIE il,apo n ~ y ranorter
tIons with H. learned Wnsn a Iepo.d
VINO ntervie"eo MN aDout ms .'lp auoeeu
nun IN eiIest, as,caiilns LISBON .ae eap,
lLal OF epaIa. Hts FRANCS .aaae n III
y ms expense. a,.nousn IN .aey va anu ure~niI-
leaders. unless they shared tne presa III.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Lord Miner, Of the British war cab,-
net, addressing a meeting Of Y. M. c..
A. anniversary recently, said:

LORD Miner. OF the British. war cabi-
net, addressing a meeting OF Y. M. c.
A. anniversary recently, said:
Unity here at home, the unity of the
empire-I ave just come from a meeting
with representatives of our great do
minions and of India which affords the
most impressive testimony to it-yes, and
the unity of the allied nations who are
fighting sideby side in the cause of
human freedom. has never been more
than it is today. n that is due above
all to the simplification Of the issue.
There have been times during this long
war when, l think, many people in this
country have felt perpleXities and doubts
because they We're not quite satisfied
about what they were fighting for. They
have thought that our wal aims were
for some territorial, or partially territorial
or commercial advantage, something they
did not greatly care about, and at any
rate did not care to go on shedding blood
Tor. But the war lords of Germany have
removed all these perplexities. They have
made the issue perfectly clear. The mill
tary party has all Germany under its
heel. Germany has all her allies firmly
in her grip. She has safeguarded herself
on the east by a ring Of dependent states
the Ukraine, Poland, ~Finland-and she
is now turning with all her might to the
west, in order, ~ a supreme and despe-
rate effort. to crush the remaining free ma
tons Of Europe and so to dominate the
world. Her ideal Of the future of man.
kind Isl central European block, of IRE
sistible military strength, supported by
giant industries drawing their raw mate
rial from ELL the rest of the world on
Germany's own terms. while leaving tfA,se
supplying nations to enjoy just as much
prosperity, Just as much freedom and self
determination as Germany chooses to per-
nit. A world of peaceful. servile states
working for the profit of a great para
mount empire-that is the German peace
as we see 1t illustrated in the case OF
Russia and Rumania. THAI is the vision
Of the future of mankind which possesses
the soul of the rulers of Germany today
n which the nation. dazzled with vic.
tory. is prepared to wade through further
seas Of blood to attain.
Mebiiixins the Reserves Of Freedom.
It is certain, as certain as anything car
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Why He Trsmblsd.
From the Kansas City Journal

From tho KaEsas CITY 0uu!11Ai'T :
It was behind the scenes OF . barn
stor,ning theatrical companf.
Macbeth Partlow Is timorous sbout ap-
pearing tonight" said one OF the troupe.
"How fool!sh!.' replied another. He
shouldn't have stage fright. Why. he's
been on the boards for years.
True" replied the first speaker: but
this IL the first time he vas ever billed
Cor Two nights in one town"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
For PimpIy Faces.

To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off in five minutes with Cuticurn
Soap and hot water. For free samples,
address "Cuticura, Dept. K, Boston,"
At druggists and by mail. Soap rs,
Ointment % and 5O.-Adv.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Miai,t Try IT,.

Egypt? All, that is a dreamy, ro-
mantle land, the land of lotus eaters"
81 never ate any lotus" declared
Mrs. Wombat briskly. 'How is it
served?'
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

No man is Il coward who has been
married more than once
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

Hot summer days upset the
strong stomachs as we'll as weak
ones.
Your vital forces reach their
lowest level when the weather is
the hottest. Then the danger is
the greatest.
You can't guard your stomach
and bowels too carefully through
the long, hot season. Don't take
any chance. Indigestion, sour
stomach, that wretched, bloated
feeling, belching, food repeating,
pains that claw at stomach and
bowels and an endless train of
stomach ills that make life mis-
cradle are greatly aggravated in
the hot weather.
: This year Of all others-it is
vital that we keep our strength
and full power at work. The ex-
ira war work, change of diet-all
must be looked after because they
hit us in the stomach. And now
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

Things within reach come quickly ia
those who wait on themselves.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
What They DC 10 EN-.

James. how does ii cam, that ak
you boys are constantly piesanS ON
poor little Allie. His mother t;:ya IN
comes home nearly ever9 night w,th y
black eye OF q bloody nose"
"Why--oh, YOU see. ma. he rays Ne ~
one of them there conscientious ob.ssS.
tors"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

Wash day is smile day if you u.s Res
Gross Ball Blue, American made, tAeYckE1
the best made. Adv.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Overheard.

Overheard.
Margaret irritaie;; ne drr"diut:y.V
why y
"She Is SC ciIelnina;e.'
MY. but she must he getting oMYs
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

Too many blows will eStinaDish NJ
light Of love.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01

Solitaire is one OF the few game:
two cannot play.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1918-08-01
Nobiesse ohlioe.

"You come of an a%r:stocratic old
family. What is your motto:'
Forget It,"