davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

ilatterS half as much as she detests a
man who doesn't flatter.
A married rounder doesn't get much
iun out of it, He has to put in half
his time squaring himself.
Once in a while you meet a girl who
IS so pretty that she startlcs you. But,
at that she isn't nearly as pretty as
she thinks she is
A man doesn't have to have such a
big mouth to enable him to make a
broad assertion.
Any man who imagines that a woman
lacks courage had better look at what
she wears on hot day and then
change his mind
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

One cold and wet windy night a
farmer came upon negro Shivering
in the doorway of an Atlanta store
Wondering what the darky 'could be
doing, standing in such a draugtty
position, the farmer said
Jim what are you doing here2"
'Scusc me, sir" said John, but I'm
gwine to sing bass tomorrow mornin
at church, an | am tryin' to catch a
cold"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Our Toe Miller Contest.

Henry Morganthaler claims that the
oldest joke is the one about the negro
who was praising chicken as food.
Chicken is the most accommodatin
food there is" said the negro you
can eat it before it is born, an you can
eat il after il is dead"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

1T says here that marriage is pre-
ventlye against suicide" said Mrs.
Gabb as she looked up from the news
paper she was reading.
rs that So' growled Mr.. Gabb.
We'll, don't forget that suicide is also
a preventive against marriage"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
TGpp1i113
EhI3ft1eS/
oSr HAzE Mason
WRITE A LETTER.

WRITE a letter TO a soldier wher
w you haven't much to do; il vii
w brace some homesick fellow wh4
is feeling pretty blue. Oh, our boys ar
lion hearted and they'll whip thei
weight in snakes but they have thei
lonesome moments when their heartI
are full of aches; there are hours WHEEL
they are longing for the homes so TAI
away, and the girls they lett behind
them, and the parents old and gray
and a letter full of sunshine makes theii
melancholy shrink-therefore get you'll
pen in action, with demijohn Of ink!
Write a letter to a Soldier, full Of
cheeriuness and JOY; let the sob slut
20 to thunder-it won't help lonesomd
boy. Tell the soldier you are betting hd
will make the Teuton fly. tell him all il
hunkydory, and THE goose is hanging
high. Tell him all his friends are banki
ing on the big things he'll achieve, leS
him know he's not forgotten since h9
took his final leave Write letter I'd
soldier ere you go TO bed tonight
some poor chap is tired OF waiting for
the letter you don't write II will take
you fifteen minutes such letter to
compose, and you'll hearten up SOL
der when he's billed to face the foes.
Make it bright and brave and breezy.
full OF courage, smiles and snap, show
the confidence you're feeling in the out-
come of the scrap, and some soldier boy
will bless you as he takes his little gun.
and prepares to shoot the gizzard from
lewd. immoral Hun.
---w,ss.--
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Oh I

Most Of our boys over there are after
the kaiser full speed But what we
started to say was that Loe Geer of
134 Broadway, indianapolis, has been
assigned to Y. NJ c, A. work in
France.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Before we die, there's Just one wish
We'd crave OF hard old Mistress Fate;
We'd like to find some place where fish
Are Just as plentiful as bait.
Luke McLuke,
But down In dear old Georgia, Luke
The thought Of II oft makes us sore
Your wish would prove an awful fluke.
For We cant get our "balt" no more.
-Cedartown (Ga) Standard.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Notice |

The club requires the services of a
sanitary Inspector. We have a lot Of
volunteers, but arc afraid they may not
I'LL the bill. II N. Hale Oder of Fargo.
N. D., will accept the position We will
hold il open for him until he arrives.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

II a woman rattles the dishes more
than usual when She is washing them it
is a sign that she and Friend Hus-
have had fuss at the table. This
is her way of cussing
Many a man is so careful of his CON
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Giddanl

If you hail certain man in Charles
ton, W. Va, as he rides around in his
machine and say: rs that U r. Stude-
baker" he will reply "Yes, that's my
name but this is my Buick"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

"A husband his belongings strsws
Around the house" said Mrs. Tripei
And, II he has no specs to lose.
Tho doRgone boob mislHys his pipe"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

MI ana Mrs. Wflllan J. Tcttcc VIII
entertain a house party of III Rend
guests who will come over this norm
ing to attend the Chappell dance thij
evening The party will remain sew
eral days and includes Mr. and Mrs
4. II. Wright and Mr.. and Mrs. f. @
Pettee.
Mr. and Mrs. NJ /. Turner are EN-
tertaning a house party who came ID
attend the Chappell dance. Among thi
guests are Governor and Mrs. Barne
and Judge and Mrs. J. II. Burford O
Guthrie,
Mr.. and Mrs. A. Levy Of Harriso,
avenue are happy over the arrival o
little daughter
Mrs A NJ. Coffman is spending
short time with Wichita friends.
Ten Years Ago.
Mr.. and Mrs. Kaye w Dawson ar,
in Guthrie this week
Mrs A. ]. Meahan will entertain thi,
afternoon for her houseguest, Mis-
Ethel Griffeth Of Carthage, H., and 70
Mrs Frank Wardolls housegue.t Mrs
William Lind of Tecumseh
Miss Norma Bernhelm and mothe
left Wednesday for New York and will
sail the E ;hteenth for the continent
Miss Bernhelm will spend a year ii
study in Paris
George Knott has gone to New
Haven, Conn, to attend a reunion o
his class at Yale of 81. He will b
away three weeks.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Ants do not know each other. They
have no sense of distance or direction.
Their acts are but movements by re-
ilexes, unmixed with intelligence.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Two weeks vacation Ia quite fair.
To some resort you're sure to pnck;
ioull spend II week In getting there,
And spend Il week In getting back
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Wnffl


tWnupacn, WIS, post)
The city dads" having recently leg
islated substantial tax on both male
and female dogs. the undersigned will
be pleased to purchase a reasonable
number of these pets at prices to be
mutually agreed upon, No old or vi
cious dogs wanted Nice, fat female dogs
preferred
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

As Mr. Kipng has told you, marines are sailors and
soldiers too, and those America has sent against the
boche willing do the fighting for both the army
and navy
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
The Wise Fool.

1T is better to lead the procession
than to follow IT," observed the Sage.
Not IL it is a funeral procession,
commented the Fool.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Last week baby saving week but there is still plenty
Of time II you have baby handy
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Among other counts against George Crec NAV be
mentioned the fact that he used to be a society editor
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Luke McLuke Saws

A Wise Man Starches His Backbon,
Every Morning
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
As He Goes.

An auto bought on>the lnstaiment plan
WIN giVe more satisfaction" said old
Blose:
For then II ia quite clear that every
man
WIN know that he Ia paying as no
goes"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12

Lines Worth Remembering.
The greatest men have been those
who have cut their way to success
through difficulties-Robertson.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Names Is Names,


l. NJ Quick lives at Oak Hill, Ohio
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
2G2esaesSRRss5ssss eastRRs5ss eS
rom NE Hanec EXlac
Monx ne AnaeS =
Twenty Years Ago

Twenty Years Ago
The city fire department will 60 to
Fl Reno the Fourth OF July to compete
for a $50 prize in the fremen's tourna-
ment.
Mrs J. r. Holden OF South MeAlcs-
t.. arrived in the city last evening for
a short visit
Charles Lindsay is in the city can
vassing for a valuable work, a pubhca I
tion Of a digest of the decisions OF the
appellate courts OF the Indian terriI
tory in relation 10 citizenship laws Of
the United States covering the territory
Miss Ethel Burris, who has beer
visiting Mr.. and Mrs +. w. Hamilton
returned to her home in Baldwin. KanI
sas, yesterday
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
Learn One New Thing Each Day.

Waupaca Sausage Works.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
PoliceI

Should you stick to short words
when you are teaching parrot TO
talk" asked the Thin Man.
Nav" replied the Fat Man. "You
should stick to pollysyllables.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1918-06-12
LukeMLh1le
His Column
rODNrCW /@

Advice.
For your motto. my son, take the law
Of tho road,
Observe II by day and by night;
DO not grow discouraged. lust shoulder
your load.
And SOC that you stick TO the
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
OUR BOYS
= Write from -
lover THERE

The following interesting letter has
been received by the Gardiner Odd
Fellow lodge from Gardiner boy:
Somewhere in France, Jan. >, 1918.
Eureka Rebekah Lodge, No. So,
I. 0. 0. F., Odd Fellows Hall, Patten
Block, Gardiner. Maine, L. S. a.
Dear Members of the Lodge:
One of the most delightful remem-
ORANGES Of Christmas tide was the
package which received from you. for
which, please accept my heartfelt
thanks. The way YOU folks at home
have thought of US SO far away has
certainly taken away all the blues.
From what would have been a lonely
Christmas. there turned out a jubilee,
all on account of your good WILL Why.
there was so much mail that our post
Office couldn't handle it all, and 1 was
chosen to stand guard over a noun
tain of mail sacks. piled outside the
Office door. There are still many cars
yet untouched and, daily boxes are be-
ing distributed to gladden. the heart of
many a boy.
Right here I want to tell you how
| much the Y. NJ. c. A. did to make
Christmas a success. Christmas even
ing they had a band concert and a
dance. OF course there were no ladies'
present, but some of the fellows signi-
fed their Willingness to act as females
for that evening by removing their
hats. Everybody there had good
time.
| The next day they had a Christmas
tree, at which each boy received a bag
of candy and present, which kept us
happy most of the day. This, with the
boxes from home. kept the boys from
thinking so much Of home. know it
helped me a lot.
We want you people to- make your
minds easy about us. We know that
! you are doing everything for us, that
the people here are doing the same, and
when everyone is behind us, it's Ger
| tain that we are going to do our best
| for them.
There isn't much to write about.
/ The weather is good here for this time
Of the year. There is about three
inches of snow down now and it has
not been so very cold as yet The
boys are all well. and are drilling hard
every day, and l know will be able to
show the Boch something when we
get up against them.
II there is anything / can do for the
Lodge while | am here. let me know,
for I'll do all in my power
| Again thanking you for the box, I re-
main, Yours truly,
! JAMES f. DILL,
! Co. G, 1o3 Inf.
| A. f, F. via New York.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

With the above words, Lillian
Russell, an unquestioned authority
on feminine attractiyeness, places no
uncertain value on nice hair as a
beauty asset. Unkempt uncared for
! hair not only cannot be attractive
but is actually q disgrace.
But why have ill-kept, untidy hair?
By devoting a few moments regular
" to brushing and intelligent appli-
cation of NEWBRO'S HERPICIDE,
the hair may be made to yield Won
derful returns in increased personal
charm.
Dandruff is the direct cause Of
more hair trouble than anything else.
The hair becomes thin, harsh, un-
even and falls out in quantities. 1t
looks dead and lifeless; there is no
luster. The scalp itches.
HERPlCIDE will remove the dam
druff which is causing all the trouble,
clean the scalp, give the hair life,
snap and luxuriance. The hair stops
coming out, the itching ceases al
most at once and withal there is q
most gratifying sense of cleanliness.
To the woman VINO wishes to
make the most of natures gifts by
having fluffy, beautiful hair, NEW
BROS HERPICIDE is toilet
necessity. 1t is exquisitely per-
funaed and is a delightful hair
dressing.
In soc and 500 sizes. At drug
stores and toilet goods counters
everywhere. Guaranteed by The
kerp;c;de Co.
Applications at the better Barber
Shops and Hair Dressing Pariors.
Send 10 cents for sample bottle ard
booklet to The herpioide Co., Dept. S.
Defroit Mirf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
Let Us Hear from czernin.

Count Won Hertling, the imperial
chancellor Of Germany, has made it
known in diplomatic sources, so that it
might reach this country. as we'll as
London and Paris. that he will answer
President Wilson's most recent address
to Congress, on Tuesday next. 1t has
also been officially announced from
Berlin, that Chancellor Hertling will
address the Reichstag on the subject
Of peace terms and war aims on Thurs
day next.
Meanwhile, we may expect to hear
from Count Czernin at any time.
Whether that will come through an ad-
dress to the Austrian Reichsrath, or in
the form of a communication to the
Emperor or to some social body Of the
empire we can only guess. but we may
expect to hear from the Austrian
spokesman within few days, in reply
to the open challenge Of President
Wilson to either accept in straight
forward terms. OF reject the Presidents
four terms of durable peace. If
Count Czernin accepts the position so
admirably laid down by President Will
the right direction. If he rejects it the
high official peace parleys may as we'll
close until after a terrific conflict shall
have its influence on one or both sides.
1t is worthy OF notice that from the
very nature of the aims" OF the con-
tending forces, no greater demands VIII
he made upon the central allies after
the waste Of another terrible series of
battles. even if the Teutons are beaten
back and down, than is demanded to-
day-namely, peace that is durable
and guaranteed freedom of peoples to
govern themselves. On the contrary,
if the Teuton forces are successful, or
only partially So the demands of
Prussianism Will be advanced to I'M
limited annexation, economic slavery,
sexual savagery-to remunerate Ger
many and recruit her depleted military
power.
Should there be any compromise
short of death for America, confront
ing such prospects? Better our sons
should die, bravely fighting over there
than fight battle Of life under the
domination of Prussianism.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

Senator Hoke Smith of Georgia pre-
diets that there will be no attempt to
fix the price of cotton. He says there
has been mo caucus to fix the price OF
cotton, but there has been conference
of determined men to protect cotton
And very well they have succeeded, too
SO long as the South can maintain its
grasp upon Congress, cotton will not
be subject to price fixing, even though
every staple product of the North has
to pass under the rod.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

There was falling off in exports to
mark. the Netherlands. Norway, and
Sweden. of about s7S,00o,o00 for the
1916. or from s2S4,OOO,0Oo to s2o6.OO0,-
900. This is still s43,Ooo,oo0 in excess
countries in time of peace. Seems as
though while we are tightening up our
own belts we might pull theirs in
another hole.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

Though the conduct of the war is
non partisan in the view of the adj
ministration, it is noticeable that the
party whip is cracked only over the
shoulders of the Democrats in Con-
gress. The opposition which the
White House manifests to Senator
Chamberlains proposals for a reor-
ganization of the war making machin
cry seeks cooperation only among
discussed as a party problem and to
whom the appeal is made in the name
name of the nation.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
Editors Letter Box
Il May Be So-But?

Editor Kennebec Journal:
Under the caption Bob Cats Killing
Many Deer in Maine in the Portland
Express Advertiser of Thursday, Feb.
IA. letter from a citizen of Hancock
county appears which runs in part as
follows:
L have been out on a little hunting trip
for bobcats, with my bobcat dogs and on
taking very large bobcat track and fol-
lowing it for some three or four miles, [
found one yard of deer, four in number,
and every one killed and about all eaten
up l went on after the same cat for
about a mile and one-half further and
found one more large doe deer, killed and
partly eaten etc
Without wishing to appear at all
skeptical it does seem as if five deer
in four and half miles by zone large
bcb-cat", said five deer being about
all eaten up" is Going Some" even for
an extra large and exceedingly hungry
bobcat. when one stops to consider
that full grown bobcat rarely reach
es the weight of 80 pounds, and the
five deer. AT a most conservative fig
ure. would easily weigh 800 pounds or
more. Either the Hancock man failed
to refer to enough bobcats. or he mis-
took his killer for Canadian Lynx, an
entirely different species of beast.
While there is no question that the
common or garden variety of Maine
bobcat does kill large plumbers of
fawns during the season. it is extreme
ly seldom that they will attack full
grown deer and then only in case of
transformation. whom they occasion
ally band together as wolves once did,
and pull down doe. Why not notify
Mr.. Hoover that Mr. Bobcat is exceed
ing his fair arportionment of meat?
Kenneth Fuller Lee
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

\ League for National Unity has
undertaken campaign to sec that
none but patriots shall be elected to
Congress this year. Every man elect
ed, it is announced, nut be a war
sure on that point, it will be necessary
to elect Republicans. When President
Wilson was for peace without vic
tory year ago. his party lined up
pretty well. A great majority of his
party associates in Congress can be
depended upon to change every time he
does. Nobody knows how long Presi-
dent Wilson will be an advocate OF
'war-till- victory
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
Chester Brewer Of Bar Harbor

\ general attendance OF business men
and citizens was at the funeral of
Chester Brewer Thursday afternoon at
Bar IIarbor. He was 81 had been in
various lines Of business all his life,
particularly in real estate, and was the
principal owner Of the Brewer Ice
Company. He leaves his wife, a
daughter and five sons. three of whom
are in war service. Five brothers are
in business in Bar Harbor.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

Ii people could only eat the numer-
Gus and voluminous bulletins issued by
the Food Administration and burn the
bulletins issued by the Fuel Admins
tration, there would be no more heat
less Mondays or flour substitutes
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
Maine Gossip
Browns Preroeative


Or. H. Dyer. Fairfield Me-
I've lived sixty years
Without filling the ears
OF my neighbors with cantos of praise
Pertaining to me
And the fine family
The Almighty gave me to raise.
I've just kept on going
Without any blowing
OF hornS-though I've always been proud
OF each daughter and SON
For they're white every one
Yet l haven't shouted aloud,
They've won the first places
In most of the races
They ever have entered l guess;
But l haven't Dragged
OF the fact that they've bagged
a generous share of success.
I've lived, as I've said,
Without making a spread
OF achievements, attachments and such
l am now double-prinled
Fully loaded and timed,
And bound to explode at a touch.
Yes. things now have come
To a climax, by gum!
The war has inflated my chest:
For my family went
Just a hundred per cent
When Samuel called for the test!
SO cock up your ear,
For the spark fllckerS near
To the breech of my oral siX-shoocer;
And the trombone of pride,
Nicely oiled in the slide,
Is at hand-and I'm going to toot 'er!
I've Bill in the bitches
In France. ripping stitches
In the mantle of Autocracy;
And I've one cover there
In the air-in the air.
My Dickie daredevil is he.
My Howard is spending
His energies mending
The battle-torn victims of war:
While Jim, gentle son,
Blue OF eye-Steady one
Is driving an ambulance car.
I've one in the navy
The youngest. by gravy.
Boy Benny, light-hearted and free;
And Dave sailed away
With the Y. NJ c. A
On an errand of cheer oversee.
And where are my daughters?
They've crossed the blue waters
With bandages packed in their kits,
All ready for nursing
The army of Pershing-
IT Germany makes any hits.
Ny good wife and me
Are alone-but, by gee,
We're alive to the needs of the nation!
Mirandy is knitting
And I-why. I'm hitting
The speed limit getting the ration.
So l think I've right
To hold up to the light,
And crown with loyal mans praise
In rhymed eulogy,
The fine family
The Almighty gave me to raise
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16

If letters can be delivered between
Washington and New York in three
hours by aeroplane the new service Will
be nearly az quick as the telegraph to al
practical purposes. 1t is the plan to
charge q cents an ounce which is GER
tainly cheap enough.-Portland Press.
And II the President should send for
William Howard Taft for importan,
conference-$1200?
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1918-02-16
Light and Airy
Next

Next
! HERE'S TO THE KAISER
Farmington Chronicle
/ Here's to the Kaiser, the limburger
May the swell in his head go down to his
knees;
May he break his damn neck on the
! Hindenburg line,
And go to He'll croaking, The Watch on
the Rhine
| NOT SIGHTING THE PRINCE
| (AIane Farmer
And here's to the Prince, the son of his
sire,
May the Devil for him be stocking his fire.
May he roast, yes, and toast the Old son
of a gun.
J Until he just wishes he's back at Verdun.
NOR ABUSING THE DEVIL
Farmington Chronicle)
Here's to the Devil, with deepest regrets
No doubt he deserves the discredt he
gets
But he's not in class with Hohenzollern
For that bloody bunch would put Hell on
the bum,
A FITTING FINALE
Here's to down trodden German folk.
It's about time that they awoke
And threw Wilhelm. the Prince and the
whole bloody lot
Into the place that is always hot,
Both Buffers
IF I rejected you, would you commit
suicide?'
Il don't know, grille Your sixteen
year-old sister is very attractive. N a
few years
But she accepted him forthwith and ne
| is working hard now TO meet the install
ments on an engagement ring.-Lousvilie
Courier-Journal
Satisfied
glad OF it
Yes"
you bet your life. Whenever I th!n,1
m WORKING too hard | JUST ston aha
'h'hK OF the time when l had to get IL,
at O'Clock and work Ike a slave M
dark New York World
Proved His Case
Mother-The whipping YOU had ve.,et-
day does not seem to have improved vo,a