Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-26
STREET CAR COMEDY,

STREET CAR COMEDY.
DO you think he'll come out for the
office"
Il declare / do not know. I heard
my husband say that he was in a
what do you call ia respectable
mood"
! IF you have been thinking of hav-
| ing a sick spell postpone it. The
nurses must have more remuneration
for their services. 1t is presumed that
patients are more difficult to admin
lister to since the war came on. Still,
If you have ever been in position to
observe what a nurse must contend
with you will not begrudge her the
little advance for professional service
that she is asking. She earns every
dollar she receives, and then some
more besides. Imagine sitting in
room for hours trying to humor some
old crab who hasn't spoken to his wife
in more than twenty years and whose
very meanness finally has brought
him to his back? Cheerful prospect.
MRS. Mary Robinson, 104 years of
age, has Just died at Oswego, n. Y.
, She hasn't left any receipt for longev-
| ity, but the chances are that she lived
| just about the same as other women
have and that she didn't credit her
, long sOjourn to eschewing this or IA
yoring that. The folks who live long
eat and happiest are those who do
what they believe to be right towards
themselves and towards their neigh
bors
OLD King Coal is finding these days
! that uneasy lies the head that wears
/ the crown
A MOLINE policeman claims that
he has seen the first spring robin in
that city. Probably the bird dropped
in to get jag of coal.
IGNATZ says his notion of the
meanest man in captivity is he who
waits until Saturday evening to get
his hair cut and buys a shampoo in
addition to the customary shave.
NOT EXACTLY AN UPLIFT TOWN.
Hilary Mahin did not stay in Lex
ington, Mo-, and enter the Wentworth
Military academy as was planned.
His father, Frank Mahin went with
him, and upon investigation found IA
saloons running wide open in the
town. Naturally he did not think that
sort OF a town very good place for
his sOn.-Smith County (Kan.) Pho
neer
WHEN boy asks girl for her
picture he may be doing it simply to
make some other admirer Jealous.
Girls will always do we'll to consult
their mothers in such circumstances.
MARY McLane is appearing in a |
picture entitled Men Who Have Made |
Love to Me- Wonder which one Of
the boys taught her to smoke cigarets :? |
BECAUSE of a shortage OF bivalves
an oyster supper announced to take
place at Muscatine church was post |
poned. A little camouflaging artfully |
applied would have made it possible |
to have staged the affair in accord |
ance with the original schedule. ANY
way, how many oysters are needed to |
serve church audience?
1T may afford ray of comfort to
you, as you worry over whether Won
are to be allowed to buy enough coal |
to pull you through the winter. to be
assured that there will be plentiful
supply OF ice the coming summer.
WASHINGTON is informed of the
discovery of much moonshine in drv
states. There is a lot of it on tan in
some OF the wet states also. |
SOME families move south in the
winter season because they can afford
to do so. Others do the same thing
just to convince some of their enyious
neighbors that they are able whether
they are or not.
FORMER Chief of Police Charles
Healey % Chicago is to be given an
other trial next month If the author
tiles keep after Healey long enough
they will make him the chief martyr
u that city. Since his recent acauittaI
g one charge his stock has gone up sol
per cent. We may soon expect to see
him in the movies. Then the chan
tauQuas may take him up next sum-
mer. Healey may discover that ha
owes more to the prosecuting attorney
OF Cook county than he now imagines
he does.
ON one page you read that a coal
famine is still imminent and on the
next you are advised that the tenn
peratuIe Is due for another drop and
that 1t will be very cold Snndor
Would that cause the buttons on vonr
vest to rattle?
aAoihEH way OF conserving the ,
home coal pile is by attending church Il
tomorrow.
J. M. C. u