The Washington herald., 1918-01-11

I
don't do .that.
Another thing. don't give them a
task they can't perform. like wom-
an heard who lives down South. She
sat looking out OF the window and
she saw carriage drive UP. and in
It a woman with all her brood. She
said,
Great heavens. what have done
that she should infiict her presence on
me In coming here unannounced7 ?
Children, hurry up. take that chair
out. Take this kimono and get the
other one. Hurry up" and so on and
the woman caller came up the steps,
and she rang the door bell,
y Scores Social Hypocrisy.
She went to the door and said, How
do you do, Mrs. Brown, / am de-
lighted to see you and / am SO glad
you have brought the children. Why,
my dearie. why, am so glad to see
you"
Smack! Smack Kiss!
Take of your things and now we
Will have a good time!'
She did SO and the kids played Lon
don Bridge is falling down, drop the
handkerchief, and then they had some
refreshments, and then she said:
Now We will have our luncheon,
And after luncheon they sat there
wind -jamming and her visitor said,
well must go. I promised my hus-
band I would be home early"
She said, Don't hurry. am enjoy
ing your VISIT
She said, mo. I must CO." so she
coupled her train and prepared to
steam out.
She said. Don't wait SO long be-
fore you return again, viii you.
dearie?"
We'll. goodbye"
Goodbye"
Goodbye"
CSisses all the children.)
After the woman had gone she said.
Heavens! Bring me the smelling salts
quick; know I shall faint"
And so. as the kids were Juggling
the chair and stuff back into the par
lor they brought in a little china dog
about that long-and she said, who
broke that dog? Tommy. did you
break it?"
ALBERT. did you break St? Dorothy,
did you break 1t? Dimple, did you
break it?''
"One OF you children are lying to
nv oAh1 plOPOeC " inu ONN WIN II
is. Now, who did it?''
Finally one of the kids turned States
evidence and fastened the crime on
another culprit. She took him by the
ear. led him into a back room and
busted him. shook him up and said,
do. you know why I punished you?
oh-h! 1t hurt mama worse than it
did you!"
Cut the Camoufage.
Cut that old bunk. That's stale
stuff: forget it! And she said, DO
you know why did it?"
NO"
Not for breaking the dog, al
though it was an heirloom; my grand
fathers grandfather who fought in the
Revolutionary War gave IL TO me-"
she said. st have punished you for
lying TO me-
Where did he learn 1t? I'll tell you
where he learned TO lie-he learned IT
from his miserable old lying mother.
! He heard what she said when the car
riage drove up. Where did the child
learn to lie? From his old lying
mother.
How old are you. my boy7" ask
ed a friend of mine of a little fel-
low.
He said, ct am at home, at school
and 4 on the street car"
We let the moral training go TO our
school teachers. / have never as
pired TO hold but one officc, that is to
be a member OF the school board and
the first thing I would 10, would be
| to raise the salary OF the teachers and
, pay them twelve months year.
1t Is a disgrace the salary we pay
| our preachers and public school
teachers In America, the two indispen-
| sable people on earth The average
wage is less than $500 dollars a year
1 1t is s. a day for the teaching year
and IL is $1.6o a day for the calen-
| dar year on the average. There are
eleven States where the salary is less
than $500 a year and two States where
| the average is less than $50 a year.
Why? When our teachers go in, in
the fall. their cheeks look like roses,
when they<come out. my friend. they
! look like lilies and they are anaemics,
they are bending over that miserable
nonetity that bears your name trying
| to poke something into his empty head.
We have taken from our school
tsachers the right to lick our kids
and they don't get licked at home.
No wonder they boss you before they
have sprouted long pants!
I never got a licking at school that
did not deserve, but / have a good
many, my friends. that are coming
to me yet, that I got away without
When was a kid and went to school
always wore three pairs of pants.
Ny children are imitators.
| A fellow gave a friend of mine a
dog, a water spaniel. A little later on
another fellow gave him a rat terrier.
One day the fellow says to him.
How are the dogs getting along?"
He said. by jinks, the water spans
iel is a better rat dog than the rat
terrier and the water spaniel is keep
| ing the rats out now. He is the best
| dog of the two"
Power of imitation in the world!
Many a kid is sent to a reformatory
who ought to have been licked and
sent home. Themistocles said, My
children rule Greece"
How is that?"
sunday Schools Helpful.
He said. "why. my children rule
their mother, their mother rules me-
rule Athens, and Athens rules
Greece, therefore my children rule
Greece"
preached up in Minnesota some
years ago and ore OF those blizzards
was on and there is something doing
when there is a blizzard on in Mime
sofa or North Dakota, believe me.
The door blew open in the house in
which was being entertained, a
bankers: He came home and sat In
front of his fireplace with his carpet
slippers on, reading the paper. The
| door blew men He had q hnY q red