The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-06-06

/ the kaiser, but you can lick a thrift
, stamp.
Surely General Crowder will includ,
; professional politicians among those
in useless occupations.
If you have to argue very much tc
convince yourself that it isn't wrong
you had best not do it.
Blonde, brunette or "half-and- half"
there's no fairer sight than woman
in Red Cross costume.
4 4 z
The difference between chautau-
qua and street carnival is that few
people lock their doors when a chau-
tauqua is in town.
In the end, a country true to itself
and determined to claim Gods gift to
brave men will overmatch a mere
army, however solid it's force
q z z
If you haven't taken off your heavy
ones by this time, you might as well
leave 'em on. You'd probably catch
cold if you waited until August, now.
There will be a total eclipse of the
sun June 8, and little later Oil there
will be total and permanent eclipse
of the person who was so bent on a
place in the sun.
eyes, the former ruler of Russia
was called the czar. Now what is the
ruler of Germany called?" "Please,
MISS" replied young Bill, know what
my father called him, but don't like
10 tell you"
According to Bradstreet's "a per
,ent of business failures are non-ad- :
,ertisers. The Red Cross drive was
rot failure. The prodigious advance
advertising given it made it the most :
phenomenal of successes.
4 q q
If the shade of King George " was
ware of what was going on in Lon =
on a week or so ago it must have Civ
n him curious feeling to see the
ig bugs as we'll as the common peo ,
lie saluting the Stars and Stripes and
.ondon crowds going wild over three
thousand American soldiers.
A small boy, IL years old, put
ird house up in tree and then lost
,terest in it. For weeks the sparrows
ave been trying to get into it, but
ne door is too small. Urged by his
lother to climb up and make the
ole larger, the boy said: "Aw, let
m hire a woodpecker to fix it."
4 z
"Why do you insist upon telling
Ie these horrible stories of ghosts
nd robbers while you are cutting my
air." said long suffering customer
, talkative barber. "Tm very sorry
r." replied the barber, "but you see
hen | tell stories like that to my
Istomers their hair stands on end
nd it makes it ever so much easier
cut"
"The new preacher is pretty good
'rt of Teller, and all that" remarked
Id Bill Misgivens, "but don't reckon
1 invite him to stay over night at
II house any more. He was there
lnday night and along about
clock he walked in his sleep and fell
It of the window. He lit on one of
y best dogs, and blamed night ruined
e critter."
An auctioneer had been selling hors-
all day and his voice was getting
little husky, so that he was econo-
zing as much as possible in the use
words and even syllables. Early
the day he had shouted the bids,
me hundred dollars, two hundred
liars, three hundred dollars" etc.
en- he restricted himself to calling
t zone hundred, two hundred, three
ndred," etc When mccarthy, at
Icted through curiosity by the crowd
ne up, the auctioneer had further
oreviated his speech and was crying,
ne hun, two hun, can't l get three
NJ" Off went McCarty's coat, and
sang out excitedly: Don't do this
yourself, old man. Let me in it.
an take care of a few of EN-"