davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
What 20 90 ,0Isen
Back1che comes on

81 found immediate relief in the use
ef Eoley Kidney Pills, lave recon-
2nsnaec them, and do not know Of a
single instance when they failed Is
give relief"
G. U. Landrunn, travelling salesman.
writes rom San Angelo, Texas: '.Driv-
ing over rough roads and in all kinds
OF weather. gave me acute pains in the
BACK ana suffered greatly. I found
relief N the use Of Foley Kidney Pills,
and before the first bottle was used,
the Pain in my back had entirely disap-
peared and 4 have had no recurrence of
those pains which frequently amounted
TO almost neuralgic preportioas.'
W men hackache comes on, and it
seems as If you can't stand the pain
and pressure in your back. You Will fird
Quick and grateful relief comes with
the use Of Foley Kidney Pills They
staD The cause Of the. pain. ease the
stifI aching Joints ard muscles. and
elear' the poisons out OF your system
by helping yonr kidneys and bladder 10
vcSgl-sl healthy action.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01

you ought to cut ny hair cheaper
said the baldheaded man to the bar
Der, because there's nothing much to
cut"
n m! In your case we don't charge
for cutting the hair; We charge for
having to search for Harper 5
Magazine
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
The Cow Won,

An official of the board Of health In
a Massachusetts town notified citi-
zen that his license to keep cow OF
his premises had expired. In reply to
this letter the official received the fol-
lowing communication:
Monsieur Bord of He'll just get
your motifs that my licens to keep my
COW has expire. I wish to inform you
M'sieur Bord Of Helt, that my COW she
beat you to it-she expire tree week
ago. Much oblige. Yours with respek.
"PETE."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
Tho Doones of Exn,oor,

It was long contepded that the stor!
Of Lorna Doone," by Blackmore, hat
no foundation in fact, but now it il
declared that the picturesque region o
Exmoor really contained family o
Of disgrace. of the people described il
the book
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
The Idle Rich.

SHERMAN was right In his famous
remark about war"
Goodness me, I should say he was
Just look at my tie. It's at least two
inches shorter this year than last, all
because Of this horrid war;"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
His Ami itinn

Gladys-And what is the. height o
your ambition Dick latter careful
survey of herp-Wcll. dearie fshouli
cay that 1t was about FIVE feet three
Puck
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01

Justice White a Great Walker.
Chief justice White could give
,otel Edward Ia. son Weston g,s
iandicap ard beat Tim In wall.
match Mr White brims over =
GOD nature. says Eiisi.a Hans uu
artools Magazine. and he is Ii
ONE visitor Oh any street which
'cks for ais faiAbles a.5unt Wash
on. lie I'rckaa.y Emo, more woi
nd chf,a,len ii tie iitafeF Sc, tisis.
Teen the tapitcl aAI ne excfuS.
3rtiiwest Of tie city. than any OF
sashin: toisian. Frequently be is 81
Judging a.vn. in the midst of Ia,
rcl'..ls, q nneof whom shows the sli
fvgsft' soF Tia great d.Siiii; y
s'lee. by. MI hJsk rqeallF unter
seiance' e BIS l,caMin- Smiles.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
tioans Discipline.

Mrs rmtz-ls she good to the chi
iren: Mrs. Quinn Very, She lets
hem do everything their father doesn'l
want them TO do,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01

= sEiaii TO- eh2se feeo,sl q.
ortMeni ut ) % bad aEwafs
Z haaesie,l casse laa { e..e Ga
'ilt'y VIII his stflfi.ns reaa.s
iuety 7ig;ii
What ia,sr you been dsins
OH assyd lis 4. tsi,z sso:iler.
Been sloiiig: replied tlie ~
sopeful. BacH do:pa Just as / h
cen doing all ar .esni.s BE teas
sl1Ss..i. Ice this tine" r.l.la jet
n0uirer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01

----------------------
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-02-01
Justice White Graz, WAL.

Self indulgence depriees man OF
'verything that might make him greet
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Laws Must Be obeyed.

Swift steps TO -eminence must de-
pend on sane principles. To advance
you must wrest from nature her Sc
erets and apply them to the meeting of
human needs. No matter what YOU
think of yourself you must follow ma
lures laws TO get anywhere You
Tcust also obey the laws of man or nav
for your disregard of-other peoples
right. No matter who YOU are YOU
must respect what has been decreed.
No wild nonsense will be tolerated
even If you do think you are n genius.
1Cl must respect truth and use it in
forging ahead. When YOU have the
skill that harnesses its new forms and
bitches it TO new tasks you are work
ing in the right direction. When you
have distanced your fellows they will
learn to admire you. You can do this
IL you start right and keep going.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
What Breakfast May Signify.

A land whose people drowsily turn
over for another nap at eight o'clock
or languidly ring for coffee at eleven
is doomed TO destruction. OF such
laZiness is unpreparedness born-the
vanguard of the enemy already howl
ing at the postern; treason rampant
in the citadel; wailing in the court
Breakfast, a sensible meal at a sea-
Sonable hour; sausage or beefsteak
If You are capable of such atrocities +;
or only juicy orange if your appetite
be dainty; but breakfast, cheerful
breakfast with family or friends, no
matter how great the days pressure.
This. partaken of in a mood of kind
ness and tolerance towards all the
world, is a definite accomplishment.
BY so much we are victors, and wheth-
or the CULTS wash us down or we sight
the happy isles we have set sail with
flags flying and to the stirring roll of
drums.-1ale Review.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Red Mans MESSAGE.

Several miles outside the city of
Chicago, along Lake Michigan, are to
be seen a number of peculiarly shaped
trees. Old residents who are acquaint
ed with Indian customs say that in the
days when Indians We're numerous in
the vicinity of Chicago, and when
they wished to convey certain infor-
nation, such as location of routes
through the forest, etc. they would
bend Il sapling over to the ground and
weight it down or break it slightly.
When other Indians came along they
at once knew from these Si.ns what
information was to be conveyed.
These trees are interesting historical
objects TO students of the early his
tory of our country.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Gee, Wouldn' t 1t Be Great If We
Could Get the Kaiser Homesicko,,

lie had never been homesick until he
went to camp He was as tough as anv
man, but it hurt like the blazes.
He got leave, and went to town. But
seeing strange people only made him
feel more lonely.
From the War Camp Community
Service information booth at the sta
ton, he got theatre ticket and a
dance card. At the dance he met peo-
pie from his own state. One girl knew
girl who knew his girl. The chaper.
one had eyes like his mother s and he
sat out one dance with her and told
her SO. She introduced him to another
fellow 5 mother. who had n little way
with her just like his mothers. This
woman surmised that he was starving
Tor the sight of a home-anvhodv $
nome He's going home with me to-
night, even if the wash woman is COM
ing tomorrow she told the chapcrone.
Before he went to bed, he had talked
all the homesickness away. The next
morning the woman made the panea kes
for his breakfast herself, and when he
squeezed her hand and told her good
bye, he said: 'Gee, wouldn t it be
great If we could get the Kaiser home
sick. United War Work Bulletin.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
All Things Shall Perish.

All things shall perish save His face
Attirms the Prophets alkoran:
Mans life is but little space,
The life Of Nations but a span:
ne power and majesty of kings.
Time OF a surety doth erase
lhc scent OF flowers, the Voice that
sings
All things shall perish save His face.
IN things shall perish save His face
The Moslem's alkoran affirms;
y Nemesis persues the race
Which gives the mightiest men 10
worms
he thousand wonders men have wrought,
Inc hand OF man shall not replace;
for 70! they were and they are not!
All things shall perish save His face. :
MI things shall perish save His face
For things befall as things are planned
The statue crumhles in its place,
The city wall is whelmed with sand;
" ar rot-ruin curse the land;
he stars move on with steady pace;
Men see, but do not understand.
That nought endures except His face.
Al things shall perish save His face;
The Virgin Moon, the Kingly sun.
ne myriad stars that burn in space,
BE quenched like tapers one by one.
., prophet walking with the dead.
Tho men have named you vile and base,
lie spoke not wholly i'll who said.
All things shall perish save His facet
ARTHUR GOODENOUGH.
West Brattleboro
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Three Distinguished Astronomers.

1t is Il remarkable circumstance,
Sir David Brewster writes in his Mar
tyrs Of Science" that astronomy should
have been cultivated at the same time
by three such distinguished men as
Tycho, Kepler and Calico. While
Tycho, in the fifty-fourth year of his
age, was observing the heavens at
Prague. Kepler, only thirty years old
was applying his wild genius to the de-
termination of the orbit Of Mars, and
Calico, at the age of thirty-six, was
about to direct the telescope to the
uneXplored regions of space The
diversity of gifts which Providence
assigned to these three philosophers
was no less questionable. Tycho was
destined TO lay the foundation of mod
ern astronomy by 4 vast series Of ac-
curate observations made with the
largest and the finest instruments. 1t
was the proud lot of KepIer to deduce
the laws of the planetary orbits from
the observations of his predecessors ;
While Calico enjoyed the more daz-
zling honor of discovering by the tele-
scope new celestial bodies and new
systems of worlds.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Mother of Thousands.

The destruction wrought on all but
the hardest wood by the white ant, or
termite, is not surprising when a few
facts are known of its prolific charac-
ter. a nest, some six feet in height
was found in the tropics, and about one
foot below the level of the ground was
conical mound of hard earth. IN
side this dwelt the queen-mother After
careful observation she was found TO
lay 9,12O eggs in an hour. On account
of her great size she was unable TO
leave her cell, her only function being
to lay eggs.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Delivery Problem In Java.

One thing impressed me in Buiten-
Zol'g the marvellous balance pole meth
cd of transportation, everything. from
babies to dried fish, being swung on
TWO baskets or platforms attached to
plant pole resting on the shoulders
or back of the neck, William Barbe
writes in Asia Magazine. Up the path
TO our veranda battered peripatetic de-
partlnent stores, the great twin piles of
garish notions, mostly made in Ger
many" coming to rest as the floor
walker and owner squatted between
them. Far more attractive were the
dual piles Of bright-colored fruit, papa
jas, rambutans, saIakS, the acid bill
imhi, and, finally the DURAN and man.
gosteen as examples of opposite ends
of the gustatory gamut. The per-
centage demanded by the money lend
efs made of their balance poles the
vcriest parody of the scales of justice.
One of the last glimpses of Buiten-
Zorg's street showed an ambulatory
restaurant, with a redhot stove in one
swing and in the other 4 pile of dishes
and viands which would have done
credit to Child's waitress
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Little Benny's
Note Book
By LEE PAPE

We had lessin about teeth in skool
today, Miss Kitty telling us if we ony
chewed our food longer we mite live to
be hundred yeers old and feel he'll
thler vile we was doing it, and at re-
cess | hunted for Pubs Simkins to see
wat he had in paper bag that he had,
and found him setting on the bottom
step of the fire escape, and Sid Hunt
was setting there with him. on account
of having found him ferst. and the
paper bag had round pretzils in It.
PudS giving me and Sid Hunt one.
q, Sid, | sed, lets start to eat every
thing slow and see if we live to be a
hundred.
All rite, l wouldent mind living to
hundred, sed Sid, and Pubs sed. /
like to swaller, Id rather eat fast and
die young.
And NE and Sid each started to eat
our Pretzil slow as enythinq, me saw
ing, Wat do you say we keep on eat
ing slow all the time and see who gets
to be hundred ferst?
All rite, wat do YOU saw we do? sed
Sid. And we kepp on eating them slow
er than anything. and all of a sud
DIN Pubs yelled, Owtch. And he made
fearse face and put his hand up to
IL, having 4 fearse tooth AXE, and he
got up and wawked away still holding
ms face and leeving the bag with the
pretzils IN on the fire exeape. saving.
q, owtch, Won : can eat those if Won
wunt
Wleh me and Sid started to do, each
eating one fast as enything and quick
taxing another one, me saying to Sid.
Lay, thawt you was going to eat
| everything slow, and him SAYING. I
thaWt you was. And we both grabbed
for the last pretzil and each got half.
me getting the biggest half on account
Of being quick grabber.
Proving that if we live to be a hun
derd 1T will half to be by accident
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
MONDAY, DECEMBER %, 1915.
GET AFTER THE BOYS

We heartily endorse the suggestion
Of the Barre Times that an organized
effort be made to induce the BOYS who
arc returning from France to come
lack to Vermont Vermonters. have
been too Indifferent to their young
people, allowing them to drift away to
fields gilded by the cnchantment Of
distance. when a word of warning or
friendly interest would have kept them
az home and led to their development
into useful citizenship. There will be
many among those returning from
France TO feel the allurment of new
fields, to whom a kind and sympathet-
lie call from the old home land would
make an irresistible appeal and deter
mine their life course. They are worth
the call and no true ycrmonter should
hesitate to make it.
We would suggest the Immediate
preparation of a pamphlet with few
alluring Vermont scenes, a concise
statement of the state s agricultural
resources including n statement of the
high degree of productiveness of Yer
mout soil, list of industries DESTROYS
of labor and the number of men desired
by each and similar matter. This
pamphlet might be distributed among
the soldier boys as they leave the ships
at the various debarkGtion ports. This
would be good advertising, something
Vermont cannot have too much of.
In addition to this we would suggest
an appeal by the different communities
Co the boys who have gone out of them
I'm every farming community, in par
ticular, there are desirable farms
awaiting young, practical and industri-
uus young men. There are also several
substantial farmers and generally one
person who Gowns the town., that is
a leader in financial investments in his
section. If these people would get to-
gether and write to the desirable Young
men who have gone out of their COM
munity, expressing hope they would de-
eide TO come back and settle in the
ncigborhood and that they were ready
to assist in a financial way in getting
the young men established on farms of
their own, we believe that many of the
most desirable young men of Vermont
10 80 l..
east his lot with "'the old town"
1t would seem well worth trying and,
if done at all, must be done quickly
lecause someone else will be trying it
and getting the young men away from
Vermont. Let : make the boys feel
that their friends and neighbors as well
as their families want to see them back
IN the Green Mountain state
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Give Wine to Chickens.

Mrs. Hen says to her lord and master
Another little drink would not do me
any harm. " And it will be no use for him
to argue the point She is backed by au-
thority.
The professor of agriculture at Fontain-
bleau has been making a discovery about
eggs.
He took dozen hens and gave six OF
them little wine each day and kept the
other six enforced teetotalers. Stimulant
triumphed over prohibition and the teeto.
talers We're beaten to a frazzle. They laid
only q eggs, as compared with the wine
blbbers $50, and the latter were much
superior in quality.
1t Is a dangerous discovery to have
in these days of strikes, especially with
winter coming. Now that women are get
ting their rights everywhere Ter almost
everywherel, 1t Is quite conceivable that
all hens will 60 on strike and refuse to
lay eggs unless they get their beer.-Okla-
homa Livestock News
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
DDyEV[N[Nt
.ARY TALL e.
~ MARY 0AHAH BONNER
A GENTLEMAN MONKEY.

"Im a perfect gentleman" said
Larry.
You're nothing of the sort" said
Smoky, you're a perfect monkey
Smoky" said Billy Francis and
Edith Francis from the next cage,
"you are fiattering your companion"
How is that?" asked Smokey.
"You called him perfect monkey"
"Weil, am perfect monkey" said
Larry, "but it doesn't make me cross
or horrid."
NO, that's So" said Billy Francis
and Edith Francis together.
"But you're apt to get conceited,"
said Billy Francis.
"Ah, no." said Larry 81 don't be-
lieye in these folks who never say
anything nice to anyone They'd never
tell an animal or child that they We're
good and nice. You know it's very
good thing not to get spoiled, but there
is difference between spoiled and be-
Ing petted and loved"
That's true, too" said Smoky "Oh
it's very fine to live in cage with you
Larry. A monkey never knows what
you are going to do next One day
you're thinking of nothing but exer-
cising. and the next you are showing
how wise you are"
Now Larry had rfnged tail and he
came from South America. He had a
spotted nose and spots over his eyes.
Smoky, too, was a ringed-tailed
monkey, and also came from South
America, but Billy Francis and Edith
Francis came from Africa.
| But" continued Smoky after a few
swings and somersaults, why did you
say you were a perfect gentleman?
You might get into a lot of trouble
making a speech like that, for you
know there are many people who don't
like monkeys"
There are many people, said Larry,
who don't like anything or anyone
but themselves"
"Oh, we'll, said Edith Francis, you
mustn't mind if everyone doesn't like
you, Larry. You're so sensitive,
You're so easily hurt-that is your feel
ings are-you certainly can fall about
and not hurt yourself. That tail of
youps is great help"
"Ah, no." said Smoky, think about
it as you will, there are people who
don't like US, and do you know why?"
All the monkeys put their hands be-
hind their ears and waited TO hear
what Smoky had to say.
Its because" he continued. "it's
because they say we're too much like
them. We're so human, we are"
All the monkeys laughed and swung
back and forth as if they'd heard the
best joke of their lives
We'll then" said Larry, Il don't see
at all why you corrected me because I
said was a perfect gentleman
MY dear Larry" said Smoky, you
can't be a gentleman and a monkey
too"
"oh, can't just said Larry You
watch me-
It's not trick-being a gentle
| man." said Edith Francis.
It's good behavior-that's what ii
is" said Larry. Now the keeper
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Making Beer in the Cellar.



Malt, one peck coarse brown SUI
gar, six pounds; hops, four ounces;
good yeast, one teacup' is the begin
ming of q certain recipe now being
circulated in printed form. 1t is la
bcled Strong Beer Still another
recipe advises the amateur how to
make malt.
Coming events are casting their
shadows before them. There will be
books of home chemistry which will
occupy the same relation 10 the cellar,
that the cook book now does TO the
Kitchen. And while "mother'' is in
the kitchen, making the pies which
bring her fame, ''father' will be in
the cellar making the beer for which
he Will never ,heeome~sNmous. For this
strong beer" that will be home
brewed Is going to be pretty bad stuff.
II ever breweries are again permitted
To operate, none of them will advertise
the beer "that father used to make. -
We can almost imagine the temper
ance melodrama of the future. as de-
vised by some sentimental playwrighs
II viii be called ''Ten Nights in the
Cellar and its most affecting line
viii be, "Father. dear father, come up
and 90 TO bed. The clock in the par
Tor strikes two.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Righteous Wrath.

There are many kinds of hate, as many
kinds of fire;
And some are fierce and fatal with
murderous desire;
And some are mean and craven, re-
- vengeful, selfish, low.
They hurt the man that holds them
more than they hurt his foe.
And yet there is hatred that puri-
fies the heart,
The anger of the better against the
baser part.
Against the false and wicked, against
the tyrant's sword,
Against the enemies of Love, and all
that hate the Lord.
0 cleansing indignation, o flame of
righteous wrath,
Give me soul to see thee and follow
i'll thy PATH
Save me from selfish virtue; arm me
for fearless fight,
And give me strength to carry on, a
soldier of the Right
Henry van Dyke
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23
Larry Knocked Off the Keepers Hat.

says so and he knows. He knows all
about animals and he loves. us and
looks after us and he said | was
perfect gentleman, so | know | am"
"All right, Larry" said Smoky. "if
you insist upon IT, then you must be
right For Smoky thought if the
keeper had said so Larry certainly
must be a perfect gentleman.
Just behave yourself and always
be good and gentle and playful and
you're perfect gentleman" said
Larry. 'Ah, there's all the difference
in the world between being a gentle
man and perfect one. 4 gentleman
is just a gentleman-one who lust has
that name. but perfect gentleman Is
one who deserves that name!"
Just then the keeper came along.
1T makes me very angry he told
little girl. ito hear people say that
monkeys aren't clean. They won't
even allow a scrap of dust upon them
selves. When people say they're dirty
they don't know monkeys. It's quite.
quite wrong. Just look at that skin"
He took Larry out of his cage and
Larry nestled up in his arms as the
keeper showed the little girl how clean
and nice Larry was, and then he said
This monkey Is q perfect gentleman"
How happy Larry was; and then all
the monkeys were given bananas,
which they peeled and ate, but first
Of all Larry knocked off the keepers
hat, which was his favorite joke, and
how the little girl did Taught
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23

In letter from an American soldier
recently released from a German prison
camp were the following lines: "The
American Red Cross was right on the
joh; they were wonderful to us fellows.
Words fail me when l think of the
good things we have received through
them. 1t makes a fellow feel proud
that he was born an American. - This
makes us feel proud that we belong TO
the Red Cross.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-12-23

American metropolis for the great nav
al review this week, Everything pos
sible should he done to prevent it.
After spending the millions that the
Americans have contributed to save
the American soldiers and sailors
from immoral pitfalls abroad we must
not allow them to be caught when they
first set foot on the homeland. If New
York city authorities cannot do it the
naval and army authorities should. We
'annOt sacrifice $4,000 men with an
'stimated wealth of $7.000,000 at the
opening of peace.