The Washington herald., 1918-01-14

WFltlus On papyEus.
, You go tell him to dip seven
times in the Jordan. Beat it! Beat
Il! Beat it,"
Out comes the servant. Old Naa-
man seated up here on his horse,
flies swarming around him, my
friends, and the stencil repulsive.
Naaman said: We'll. is he home?"
Peace. master. Peace. he is
home. but he is q queer duck"
suppose Naaman. thought that
Elisha would come out and say:
leprosy. You know matter Is nom
existent; 1t is an illusion of the
mortal mind. My dear. why do you
make this long. expensive journey
Why didn't you phone me and I'd
have given you an absent treat
ment."
He said: Go dip seven times in
the Jordan"
Naaman said: You go tell him.
Not on your tintype.' You don't
get me in the muddy, turbid waters
of that stream. Why, we've got
better water up here in Damascus.
We have far better streams than
this. Why. people living in the far
parts of the country come up here
to spend their vacations and bathe
in our waters MOI"
A Curse for n Savior.
Like many a fool today. Listen
to me! When God reveals to him
the plan of salvation. instead of
getting on his knees and thanking
God for giving him a chance to
keep out of hell, I'll be, darned If
he don't turn around and damn
God and then damn the preachers
for preaching Gods truth at him.
When God tells him what to do to
be saved, instead of being thank
full, he begins to curse.
Naaman was wroth- Oh! God could
have saved him without the dips but
he wanted to take the poker out OF
his backbone.
Here's a man wants to be farmer.
What will he do? Oh. go hire out to
a slaughter house and work him there! =!
Here's a man that wants to be a
jeweler. What will he do? Go hire
out to the railroad and work on the
section? Here's a man. sir, that wants
to be a doctor. What will he do? Oh.
why, let him go work for a farmer !
Is that the advice given him? No. II
] a man wants to be doctor we say:
go to a medical school and study.
come out, hang out your sign, wait
for some fellow to get cut up ana
come in for medical attention"
Here's some fellow wants to be q
lawyer. What will he DO? Go to
law school and study the construction
| Of the law, codes and ordinances.
Here's a jeweler, what will he do!
Go down to Tiffany's. Here's man
wants to be a farmer. Put him on
a farm. Here's a man wants to be
a Christian. What will he do? On,
go ask some of these God-forsaken
| old devils that are lying about Jesus
| Christ? Go ask that God-forsaken,
dirty gang. so dirty that the devll
would duck up an alley to avoid meet
ing them? Don't ask the preacher,
he knows. He has studied, he Will
| tell you what to do.
| Here's a man falls down and breaks
his leg, what will he do? Call the
doctor? No, he can fix 1t. Call In
the blacksmith? He doesn't know any
/ thing about it. So IL you want IT, go
to somebody that knows
The man that condemns whatever
he hasn't tried is willfuily unjust.
Finally he listened to the entreat-
4 les of the servant and can see them
| getting him ready for his primitive
bath in the Jordon upon the oank Oh
the river. Pretty soon a big alligator
hits him on the shoulder and he says:
AN insect they have in this section
| of the country"
| Naaman says: Il thought lello"
/ hit me with a sabre"
Il AhRn0 IhRTA
| getting him ready for the bath, he
wasn't used to that. I can imagine in
Damascus they didn't have any por-
| celain bath tubs, prepared Cuticura
/ and Ivory soap that won't sink and
that crooked thing that you use to
scrub your back.
So they get him ready. He starts
into the water He steps on a stone
| that is covered with slime and he
slips Off and cuts his toe on a clam
shell and says: "Ooh-oo-oo"'
He walks out into the water and a
stick floating down hits him and
he jumps. He gets deeper into the
| water and goes: Gold! Cold! Cold!'
"Br-r, Br-r, Br-r"'
He gets up to his armpits and he
\ holds his nose and ducks and shakes
/ the water out of his ears. Now, he
comes up and he begins to examine
| himself to see how he feels.
| l knew a fellow that went to church,
J got under the power of the preacher,
! had his sins rebuked and he said:
| well, 1 think feel little better"
! Like a fellow out in Illinois. He
said: "Bill, I've been going to preach
J ing two weeks and 1 feel better.
only cussed my old woman seven
times today and only took five drinks
of whisky. 1 feel a little better"
BY and by the muddy sediment be-
gins to work its way into those old
sores and they begin to itch and he
says: "Ooh-oo-oor'
He goes under six times-no better
| Oh! God said seven. When God
says seven don't stop at six, for there
is no blessing in six.
Not Enough Religion.
A good many in the church have
| Just got enough religion to make
them miserable and IL you have no
| joy in religion, you've got a leak in
your faith somewhere. Some haven't
got religion enough to pay their debts.
No, I've sometimes thought I'd like
to yank a string and every dud you've
got on that you haven't paid for
would fall of. Some people wouldn't
have anything but a celluloid collar
and a pair of cuffs-a celluloid collar
and one pair of holeproofs.
| You haven't got religion enough to
have family prayer-no. Haven't got
religion enough to stop lying-no!
Haven't got religion enough to &c
home and take the booze out of the
II L. Nahl