Middletown transcript., 1918-05-25
j. S. NOT WAITING
T0BE DESTROYED
Command of German Agents to
Put Hands Down Fails to
Get Approval.
IN THE CONFLICT TO WIN
America Has Never Resorted to War
Except to Avenge Insults and to
Protect Herself Against
Maurauders.
BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER.

BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER.
(From the Committee on Public In
formation, Washington, D. co.
Clean, unadulterated nonsense can
always get a laugh from me. love
it and so do most Americans. I re-
member one bit of Weber and Fields
seriously acted nonsense that always
left me gasping for breath. It was
the silliest, most inconsequential bit
of acting that genius ever dared to put
in a show that cost the spectator 81
seat. 1t was prize fight between
Weber and Fields, and one of those
matchless comedians showed the other
how to do it. They put up their
money and put on the gloves, and i'm
mediately the rank amateur began to
batter the wise one over the head, but
that was not the way to do it. The
wise one explained that that was not
at all the proper way to do it. He
explained that he would show the
poor amateur the right way. He
stood the poor amateur just where he
wanted him, turned his face to the
proper angle and then arranged his
hands. He stepped off and considered
the poor amateur but he did not feel
just satisfied. He arranged the hands
again, placing them down at the sides
of the poor amateurs legs. Then he
told him to keep them there. Then he
stepped up quickly and hit the poor
amateur a whale of blow in the face
and knocked him clear across the stage
and into the wings. It was awfully
funny everyone in the house screamed
with joy. The poor amateur was such
a fine example of supplemented, con-
iding idiocy!
l have to laugh in the same uncon-
trolled way when l see the confiding
manner in which some Americans are
letting the willy but treacherous Ger
man peace propagandists convince
them that we ought to let our hands
hang at our sides, turn our faces at
the right angle, and stand in idiotic
poses until we get the blow in the face
that will knock US into the wings. For
pure, unadulterated nonsense the act
being staged by the wise German
agents and the supplemented peace
lovers Is enough to make anyone sick
with laughing.
On the one hand Is a Germany In
arms, with millions Of veteran soldiers
oO6 an armament c,,oh oc NJ mon
dreamed Of 10 years ago, and, on the
other hand, our simple-minded peace
lovers would have US pose as the poor
amateur. "Stand here, turn your head
this way, put your hands down at your
Sides" say the German agents, and the
purchased or infatuated peace propa-
gandists echo, "Stand here. turn your
head this way, put your hands down
at your Sides" A fine future for the
great American nose If he did it!
Germany Wants Control.
II America keeps her hands down,
She will be knocked not only into the
wings but off the stage, and off the
earth. With America out of the war,
he best that can be hoped is a drawn
battle, ending with ''hands orr
peace, and leaving Germany, as the
saying is, "all dressed up and no
where to CO." Germany's "all dressed
up" will mean a Germany dressed in
veteran armies, in trained
in the finest possible mil
tary equipment, and with an untouch-
ed navy. vast air force, and no one
knows how many submarines. The
nowhere to 20" will mean Africa and
Asia, where Germany wanted to gain
But there will be one
place where Germany. "all dressed
lp," can 60. She can come to Amer
ca. She can come to South America
1rst, or to Mexico and that is where
she will come and where she has
planned to come.
What happens when German agents
even partially convince a goodly num-
Der OF persons that the right way is to
urn the cheek and hold the hands
Town can be seen in Russia. Russia IS
lot a well-trained actor She would
never get job playing a Weber
Fields burlesque in 81 theater. She |
will not keep her hands down when |
he German agents tell her to put |
hem down, but she has lowered them
,nce or twice. Russia is far, far from
happy.
l cannot believe that any sane per-
'on not in German pay can wish the
United States to become as Russia is
'oday, but that is exactly what will
happen if we listen to the German
agents and put our hands down now.
Let me put it most simply. The great
'ody of Americans believe today, as
hey should, that our continued exist
nee depends on our own military
preparation. A small, noxious body
# German agents and purblind peace
overs are crying, Put our hands
lown! Put our hands down." Sup
'ose I listen to the cry and begin cry
ng the same words. I am added to
heir number. I cry, Put our hands
own! Put our hands DOWN." You
listen to me and are added to the
lumber. You echo the cry. Suppose
he majority of Americans come to that
anne way Of thinking. The majority
ules and wet do put our hands down
We stand with our arms hanging our !
aces exposed, and wait. For what?
No doubt the German agents will be
atisfied and pack their trunks and 70
ome to Germany. Merry thought.
hardly.
We have seen what the German
gents will do; they didn't before we
ntered the war ard they would do It
we backed out 1of the war. They
'ould foment strikes, race riots, class
rejudice, and stir. up national resent