The Washington herald., 1918-01-10

Wayne toward George Washington" I"
When George Washington laid before
him his plans for storming Stony
Point, he said. Gen. Wayne, do you
think you can capture it?" He said,
Gen. Washington, IL you lay the
plans. I'll storm hell"
"Yes. nam. I'll go everywhere
looking for a sinner" So I walked
in. and the barkeeper. a great big.
weasel-eyed, hog-jowled. bullet
headed. peanut-brained, whisky
soaked old rummy. stood behind
the bar with his white apron on and
white shirt. and a cigarette in his
mouth, blowing rings above his
head. I walked in and he took II
out and said, Good morning, col
oneL What do you want, gin fzz.
mint julep. Anheuser Busch. Schlitz,
or Pabst?" I said. You've got. an
other guess coming, Rummy. You've
sized me up wrong" He pulled the
cigarette out and said, What did
you say there?" I said, Forget IL,
I won't tear under the wing. i can
go so fast you can't see me for dust
for five rounds. II you want to.
come across"
A Husbands Wrong.
I said. Have you seen Will So
and-so around here this morning?''
He said, mo. ask the cop" went
out and braced the cop, and his
1, breath would kill q fly at thirty
yards. and I said, Have you seen
kWill so-and-so." and he said mo"
said to the mother. Maybe he Is
home" So i got into the carriage
and was driven out into the suburbs
and he wasn't there. He had return
ed from Kansas with his bride, and
they had built him a bungalow out
in a beautiful grove. He wasn't
there.
They asked me to stay to dinner,
and / did. hoping he'd come in, and
they salted their meal with their
tears OF anguish. weeping for that
Goddess, wayward, drunken loafer
boy of a husband. He didn't come.
That evening I walked out in the
tent speaking to people and urging
| them to give their hearts to Christ,
and a fellow stood there leaning up
against the quarter pole. swaying
up and dowh, and walked up and
said. "Hellol pard. you are not a
Christian. are you?" He said, How
the devil do you know" said,
Because ydu are half drunk, and
Christianity and red whisky don't
stay in the same skin together.
That's why?"
He commenced to chew the rag.
Now" said. "the fellow that sold
you the slop that has made a blear-
eyed drunkard out OF you is your
enemy. I am trying to help you and
do you good. Cut it out and be a
man, will your He said, "Pard, by
gosh. I'll go you one for luck, any
way" I said. "AlI right, come on
| He went to the front and dropped
on his knees. I heard a woman on
the left scream and shout I looked.
and his mother, with her arms wav-
ing and tears rolling down her cheeks,
kissed him again and again. She
kissed sown in tears. She reaped in
joy. She reached the extremity. She
said that II that boy wasn't saved
she believed she would die. Now!
And you will have power when you
regard the promises as checks on
the Bank OF Heaven.
A bank likes TO honor a check for
its full face value. II you'd give me
a check on one OF these banks and
I'd go down and they'd say, "We'n
have to discount it 70 per cent" I'd
say the bank Is insolvent. The value
Of check doesn't depend on the
ink or paper. but the names that are
on It. I can give you a check on
one of these banks and you couldn't
get postage stamp with or get
shaved. Why? Ny name isn't any
good. 1 have no money on deposit
There are men in this city who can
| write their checks on the banks for
thousands and the cashier wouldn't
look at the signature twice. He'd
give you the money. Why? Their
names are worth 1t. Mine isn't worth
a copper at any bank here.
Promises of Jesus Christ.
And the promises are signed in the
blood OF Jesus Christ, and when ]
shove one Of them into the bank
window Of Heaven, God will give
me back the benediction and the
.blessing that I have asked for. Sc
shove them in, sinner. So throw
your arms around Jesus Christ. ]
don't care II you have been a thief
I don't care II you are an adulterer
don't care IL your hands are red
with blood. Oh. that is the thing
that will move the arm that moves
the world. Jesus Christ. then, is
the only name up In Heaven.
Themistocles entered Athens and
be went down to the King of Miletus
Ewho was his bitter enemy. The King
was away on military expedition
and Themistocles begged permission
to remain. and urged the Queen no,
to turn him over to the Athenians
for it was frame-up. She granted
him permission to remain until the
return of her husband. saying that
how much longer he would remain
would depend on what he should de.