Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-01-06
The Observer Makes Suggestion to Herbert Hoover

TO Herbert Hoover, who made lit
tie Belgian babies smile and
now makes US, fat and thin, like
& 1t, too.
Dear Herb: You don't know me at
all, Herb, but that is no fault of mine
I've been after you, all right, for sew
eral days, but 1 don't have any luck
getting to you. Such an efficient staff
as you have, L never saw before in all
my born days; if they can keep unnec-
essary food away from folks like they
have kept nae away from you, the war
is won. Every time I've been up TO see
you you've been engaged. and afPsr
cooling my heels in your anteroom until
] have chilblains almost ito my knees,
I've enlisted in the front line of the
opponents of long engagements.
But that is neither here nor there. I
am a man with a big idea. 1t may he
that it is the big idea we need to win
the war; don't know. 1 thought sure
ly 1t was for a time, but reflection in
your anteroom made me think maybe
1t is not the only idea. There were
some other gentlemen there with ideas,
too. In fact, man in uniform threw
a net over one of them and took him
away to place that Is so cozy and
warm that he will not have to bother
the fuel administration this winter. and
maybe not next. Your hired help may
have been all OK. in keeping me away
from you, but, anyhow, 1 am going to
tell you all about this idea, and then,
II you don't like it. you don't need to
pay any attention to this letter.
Here is a good scheme: You think
over what I'm going to tell you. and IL
/ don't hear from you by. say, Wednes-
day noon, then I'll know the plan is no
good. And, If you like it. you write
me before that time and say 1t is all
right, and then I'll know that it suits
you.
Mine. Herb. is an idea in nutshell.
You want to remember that because. a
little later. you'll see it contains the
kernel of a good joke. 1 don't know.
but maybe you could use it in adver-
Using my idea. If you can, all right,
and If you can't, no harm is done. I'm
harmless. and so is the idea. If that is
bothering you by this time.
Here is the nucleus of the idea: 1
have discovered a new food that should
be more widely used, and I'm not SELL
ing it, either
Now, of course. I don't want to criti-
else you. Herb, because I don't know
you except as we have become ac-
quainted in the last 300 words, but one
trouble with your campaign thus far
has been that you haven't discovered
enough new food. You've been telling
the people to save a lot of meat and
bread and sugar and all of that and to
use more of this and that, but you don't
discover new CHOW.
If you don't know what ! mean, I'll
call your attention to two discoveries
along this line in recent years, one of
which was great help and the other
of which was great lesson. Now I'm
talking about the tilef1sh and a certain
South American substitute for potatoes
called the dasheen.
The tilefsh was a donder. The
bureau of fisheries found, in some way
or another, that the tilefish had been
pulling a Rip Van Wrinkle since along
about the civil war. He had heard the
firing on Fort Sumter or something,
and just naturally skedaddled way out
into the sea and stayed. Then, one day,
fat and sassy. he came back to his old