Arizona republican., 1918-03-24
For Sale-Miscellaneous

For Sale-Miscellaneou ~~----->~->>>~~~~>~~~--~ ~--~-~~~-~~~-~~~~~~--s THE END DID NOT JUSTIFY THE
 MEANS
 You have all seen my ad desiring to sell, or trade, my Pierce-Arrow Car; thank heaven she's gone, and my peace of mind has returned: In purchasing this car I deemed it accessory to my felicitations, and hiring a ten year old kid, started to learn its ramifications. After one-half hours tutorship the kid assured me I had reached perfection, as turning the wheel and working the pedals, were all the points necessary, or possible. so handing him 15c l donned some goggles, doffed my skull cap, encased my claws in gauntlet stringed gloves, placed a bunch of all national flags at the bow, and away I went. Ecstasy did not ex- pawn broker after a ? per cent deal; You all know the F. A. is a monster, and runs like a deer, particularly when you press the wrong button, as l did to my sorrow. Mesa seemed the most available point for first visitation, so off 1 went 'hell to skit," first on the off, then the near side of road, to the great consternation of every living creature on it, some of whom yelled. others waived, while other leap't from vehicles, preferring life to broken limbs, or dismantled car. An officer hailed me, and put his motor to it's limit to overtake me, but sho! he wasn't in it. At Mesa I had the car rubbed down, my head rubbed up, wat CT and C;l copiously applied to both. q things the right direction, turned her loose:-Zip, flip, pip, whip:-stones, gulleys, holes or dykes forming no ob- struction, and soon I glided into the crater of surroundings where milk and honey freely flow, but wine abideth not: CD Of course that was Phoenix. All went fine till I reached the inter- section of a main street where traffic congested, and here had I a pigmys brains would have rested, but no, fool that am felt equal to all conditions, and kept going.-First a one hoss cream vendor rolled into path:-he was exterminated; then McArthurs demon stration car held the road:-he will demonstrate no more. Next came some ladies in a bran new chaise, giggling and chatting, until we locked horns, when they raised such an Indian war whoop that all pedestrians seized their heads to save their scalps. We got 1 separated, by which time my dander and disgust were way up, but unfortu- nately hit the wrong pedal again, and after dozen jerking seesaws butted into a lamp post, like mad bull but ting into a red flag. Of course the GODS got me, and as JudG> Thomas fearful | ly read the riot act, and our sedate city manager sat filling many kerchiefs With natures brine, while the police chief spasmodically rapped &is bud geon on the wall, I involuntarily ex- claimed, oh, death, thou hast no
 sting" Come to my rescue. We'll, I have finished my term of incarcera- ton, paid over my hard earned dollars and again am free:-'The die is cast. " When you see me driving another car you can be well assured that I'm not only locoed, but buncoed.
 There are times when patience ceases to be a virtue-This seems tc De the accepted time. I don't sell enough to buy fodder for my old buck goat:-What do you wish? What will you have? Are your Eagles so dea1 that you want to daily comb their feathers? Turn em loose: buy when goods are cheap: I am selling cheaper than all others: My place is 40 s. Cen tral Ave, Phone 1776: buy from gar ret to sewer; furnish from dome tc cellar; and its spot cash. Buy in city or eountry:-Anywhere-anything.
 This week I have bought s5000 ir house furnishings, hardware, tools, ant a large lot of doors. windows, counters etc. Also gas engine, 2 h. D. electric motor: h. D. motor; one h. D. motor
 A h. p. motor, besides electric carpe epers:-Toasters; heaters; irons rheumatic blanket; massage, and hant machines; cheap; and electri coffee grinder.
 It's strange you overlook these coun
 ter platform scales, butchers hangin,
 scales, kitchen scales, this meat slicer
 they are Al and cheap,
 No question about cash registers
 you don't want any.
 Useless to talk of $500 Remington : typewriter and adder, latest design, an
 brand new, for $100
 A printing press with all kinds o
 type, cases, and all appurtenances fo
 job work, hand power, almost new
 $60.00.
 A street, minute camera, kodaks, an
 lenses:-any price.
 Coffee urns, water coolers, instan
 taneous water heaters, and ice crear
 freezers.
 Drill presses, mortise machines, an
 a fine planer or shaper for auto re | pairs.
 Have again bought a nice lot c
 books-mechanical, fiction and ency clopaedias.
 A good variety of musical instru
 ments; banjos, mandolins, piccalt
 clarionet, cornet. Prices are right. Have leather or plush Morris chairs ! leather or wicker rockers. Fine wicke l, sets. All sizes and kinds, dining table library tables, kitchen tables, whit
 plate top cafe tables; desks of ever l. size and kind; chairs of every descriI ; tion; sewing machines, glass book !, cases, and china cabinets; swingin . book rack for lawyers, and thousand l of small racks.
 V 1 have bought one dozen of the fine rugs I have ever had in this house. IT !. prices are from $25 to $40 for rug
 which sell at $40 to $S0.
 In guns and pistols we lead the cit j Most elegant shot guns and rifles yc | ever beheld. soc on dollar. Our gas range supply, gasoline ranl !, stock, wood and coal range, assortmel ,. was never as complete as today. Ne 7. or used.
 n Just in, 8 machine lathe, with hes k screws, and all attachments. Cost $12 r Price $40.
 II Contrary to all desire, have bougl d piano. It is Creme de lis," k perfect perfecto." It sounds angeli the action is 'propellic." The keys al f ivory metallic. It is upright, co s $50000 and Chas. Lythans, the key i |. all Phoenix music dealers, say, f. r $250.00 it is dirt cheap. I ask $500 = s100 cash, $50 payments.