davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
The s.rleua ahs+to.

Americans are accustomed to say
that nothing can be really good that
does not show sense Of humor.' A
person who. no matter what his de-
fects may be. has that irradiating
light. is saved, and 1t Is that quality
In book which we pick up with per
haps the greatest approval. But the
serious Ghetto is entirely lacking In
the genial sense Of humor. The Rus
sian Jews do not know how to play,
either physically or Intellectually.
There is no play In their art, their
literature. or their life. They do not
understand what Is light and grace
full. Charm Of the mere evanescent
kind, the charm Of the nuance, il lack
ing. The spirit and the art Of the
Japanese are the opposites of the
spirit and the art Of the Ghetto Jew.
The young men Of the Ghetto-those
Of the intellectual type-pass their
nights, after working hard all day, in
serious conversations in which, there
Is no lightness Of humor, although
there may be, and often is. sense
Of the incongruous or Of the. ridicu-
lous."-Hutchins Hapgood. in the Cen
fury.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

am. But the farmers keep the gravel
and dirt roads In excellent shape.
Whenever my landlord took II trip TO
town. or anywhere. he used 10 hitch a
road drag to his automobile. Then
the car would pull the drug along the
mile or two that he was interested In
keeping up. He would unhitch the
drug and leave 1t by the wayside. On
the why home he would pick up the
drug where he left 1t and drag the
other side Of the road going back.
And he'd make a round like that al
most every time he took the car out"
Automobiles demanded good roads,
ind now automobiles are making
them. But 1t took farmer to think
Up simple trick like the one our
friend relates.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Lacked the wife and Kids.

It is related that one day as the
late Mr.. Quaritch. the bookseller. was
standing in the porch of hotel in the
company Of a great book-lover, there
came to him man carrying some
books in sack on his back.
II know you," he said. lyon are Mr..
Quaritch. Shake hands: both Of us
are booksellers"
They shook hands.
"Here." he went on. 1--WE got two
hooks in my bag which I've just bought
from tanner; you shall have them
for bob each"
He dived into his sack and brought
forth the books. Mr.. Quaritch looked
at them and then at the man. Put
ting his hand into his pocket. he took
out two sovereigns and handed them
to him. with the remark:
flake these home to your wife and
children"
overjoyed with such luck, the man
cried:
"Tve got your two sovereigns, but I
haven't got any wife nor kids" And
he hurried of.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
HER PRAYER WAS ANSWERED
s.lttis airl's Appeal for Automobile
Ride Proved Thst Her Argument
Was Q Good One.

The sIx-year-Oid daughter Of an at.
torney has been taught from infancy
to have implicit faith In prayer. so
strongly has this been impressed on
her mind that practically all Of her de-
sires and childish wishes sooner or
later And expression In prayerful. ap-
peal.
The child IL a motor enthusiast. and
on the first warn day after the severe
winter weather she asked her father
to take her out for a ride. He ex.
.plnined that their machine wns put
away for the winter. and that II could
not he used at that time. The child
then sought her mother and asked her
to pray for somebody to come around
md tnke them out for ride. The
mother tried to explain that such
prayer would be unavaIling. but. I'M
.dnunted In her arm belief. the child
went to her room and prayed that she
might have an auto ride. An hour or
20 passed. and the little girl waited
expectantly and anxIously for the au'
tomobile TO arrive.
Seeking to allny the chlld's disap-
poIntment the mother started to ex.
plain more fully. when the shrek OF
an automobile horn was heard outside.
The child rushed to the door. and to
the amaxement Of the mother. q neigh
bor nsked the girl whether she desired
to take ride.
"wiii you have room for mother.
toO?" the girl asked.
"No we just have room for one lit
tie girl" replied the man at the wheel.
The child hurriedly put on her coat
and cap. and ms she left the doorway
she turned to her mother and snid:
."See. mother. II you Ind prayed with
me you could have gone. too"
The mother Is still wondering.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
PLAGUE OF L0CUSTS
Invasion on Plains Of Argentina Is
Terrible Thing to Watch.
oIlIIons Upon Billions Of "Hoppsrss
Cover Ground and Buildings and
Leave Dsseiatlon In Their
Wake.

On the great plains Of Argentina,
where huge estates still survive, where
the cattle range free as they used to
do over the West. and q single man
may still own land the size Of Eu-
ropean kingdom. there come at long
intervals great invasions Of locusts,
far worse even than the destructive
swarms Of grasshopperr that have
ruined the crops In middle Western
states Of this country on occasion. A
locust Invasion in the Argentine Ia a
unique and terrible thing to watch,
and traveller who has this experience
II not likely to forget 1t. He comes
out Of 1t with q lively sympathy for
the ancient Egyptians who were
schooled by Moses.
They come nrst as q small cloud on
the far horizon. and the wise old ma
lives shake their heads and mutter un-
easily. Next day few vagrant mil
lions fiutter overhead with glittering
wings. The cloud comes closer; 1t
wells the whole horizon In a purple
mist. In countless billions Of billions
they come then, fluttering and cling
ing everywhere. hiding the trees and
walls with the multitude of their cling
ing bodies. They do not destroy any
thing yet: they have simply come to
lay their eggs, and this they do, and
then move on.
But the crops are as good as ruined,
and everyone knows 1t. Soon the eggs
hatch out. A multitude Of tiny. green.
backed 'hoppers." as the natives call
them, crawl forth from the burrows
where the females placed the eggs.
The whole countryside IL covered with
locusts. They grow fast and ent ev-
erything green. with few exceptions.
A few attempts may be made to
fight them. Men will burn fields of
dry grass and billions of locusts with
them. They will dig huge pits and
rake other billions In to he buried.
They will drive herds Of sheep over
them to crush them. but the number
Of locusts Is not perceptibly dimin-
ished. They are numerous past all
thinking. They will cling to the walls
Of house and cover 1t az with rust
ling curtain. 30 that not an inch of
wood or stone can be seen. They COW
er paths and roadways until you walk
on them wherever you 70. 1t il no
wonder that some people. usually wom-
en-. are unable to endure many days Of
this. and have to leave the estancia
for the time being. The big. clumsy
insects with their bold. staring eyes
are everywhere. crushed by every pass
ing foot, individually 70 weak. IRE
sistible in their myrinds. When the
horde has grown Its wings and flown
away. darkening the am like cloud,
It leaves deso1ation behind.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
A.%sa,as,e .MsvIss.s

In q commercial moving picture ap-
paratus the scenes are made visible ~
daylight as well a. at night. and the
exhibition II automatically repeated for
any period desired. A miniature the
alter, forming one part Of the outdt. u
suitable for q show window or other
favorable place for display. The other
part. the moving picture machine, Will
operate on either direct or alternate
current. and after the succession or
pictures has been projected the mo-
ton Is reversed without attention. and
the reel IL rewound for repetition OF
the display.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Automatic.

The youngster was trying to tell
story. and he was making a sad
mess of 1t. He lost the thread Of his
discourse because he was looking out
Of the window at q couple of kids on
the other side Of the street. His
mother called him to attention.
Look here. Walter" she command
ed. you must keep your mind on
what you are talking about II you
expect anybody to listen to you. It II
impossible to talk about one thing
and think about something else"
mo 1t isn't" contradIcted Walter.
when I'm sayin' my prayers, I en-
think about anything want to, an
never stop prayin'."
A lot of prayers are put up that
way.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
U.soats Have Murdered rhou..nd.,

There Is a danger lest familiarity.
even with such monstrous crime as
unrestricted U-boat warfare. should
breed Indifference to Its enormity,
says nm exchange. Therefore, 1t Is
well to bear In mind TINT. except when
the attack is made on fighting ships or
transports carrying fighting men. the
torpedoIng Of ships and sending men
to their death far out at sea. Is simply
murder. unredeemed by any extenuat-
Ing circumstances whatsoever. Just
how great bill Of Indictment is be-
ing drawn up by the German admiralty
agAinst itself is seen in the statement
given by the government leader In
the house Of commons, that up to Feb
ruary. 1918, the German U-boats had
Killed 1870 noncombatant British
men. women and children. This. he II
noted. is exclusive Of the murders done
upon peoples Of other nationalitiesL
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

In Northern France a new -four Ii
being made from sugar beets. 1t is
used for bread and for cattle. as well
as for certain brewing processes. The
fresh beet pulp IL poured into vat
into which currents of warm air are
introduced for drying. Then 1t Is
passed through series Of gratings
which rotate one above the other. Aft
er this the pulp is delivered Into COM
partments in which the temperature Of
the air is gradually increased to about
$50 degrees Fahrenheit. 1t is then suf-
nciently free from moisture to be pull
,verixed and used as flour.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Mo.lem Women Want Monooamy.

In Tomsk, Siberia. Moslem women at
a mass meeting demanded that polyg-
amy, as a tenet of religion as well as
a practice, cease. Moslems make up
y per cent Of the entire Russian popu.
lation. If the Siberian Mohammedans
free women 1t is unlikely that the Sc
raglio will continue to exist among
other followers Of the prophet. The
provinces Of Siberia, Turkestan. Box
hara and the Caucasus, touching other
parts Of the Mohammedan world. may
easily be points Of contagion from
which a new freedom will spread.
Woman suffrage In. Russia will do
away with the harem and women's do
nestle Observation-Disclosures Citizen.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

All the shorebirds are strikin9iy
beneficial in their food habits. The
slaughter of these game birds deprives
the farmer Of valuable allies against
some Of the worst crop pests. Such
game birds as quail, grouse and pleas
mt take less insect food than the
shorebirds. yet all Of them do q Ger
tain amount Of good. Even hawks and
owls have bad name which for the
most part is undeserved. It u said. and
indlscriminate persecution Of these
birds 10 Q serious mistake.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
a sane outlook.

Exaggerated outpourings Of our
physical Ills and troubles tend most
certainly to their verihcation. Our
minds respond to salacious scandal III
we allow 1t to be retailed to us) until
We also are vitiated. Exaggerating
the faults or the merits Of children
give them an unduly distorted idea Of
their importance. The reading Of
sensational fiction. UNITS Us for .
proper appreciation of standard lltera-
ture; and exaggeration Of architecture
and house furnishings places M un-
mistakably In the ranks Of the newly
arrived.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Detecting MaIInesr.rs.

The discovery Of Dutch physician
that sudden sounds may cause the pu-
pill Of the eye to dilate momentarily IL
suggested a. q novel method Of de-
tecting malingerers claiming to be to-
tally deaf. Placed In q strong light,
the subject II told to look at some dis
tant object and. ~ the examiners as
sistant calls of In q loud voice q num-
Der Of well separated words-such a.
Attention." and "Forward march r.
the effect ON the pupils can be clearly
seen.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
IS BEST OF ASSETS.
Character Enables One to Win
Great Battles Of Life.
The Gutter Falls Because He laests
Strength Of viii That Regards
Disbursements -
lneentivos.

"God Almighty hate a.auitter 7" said
Tom Reed of Maine. The nation
roared applause fromsthe Atlantic to
the Pacific and from the lakes to the
gulf for the vlrile vigor of this rough
expression of manhood. The sentiment
II one Of perennial value.
But what makes the man who does
not know when he IL defeated and
fights to the finish. be the finish his
or his opponents'i asks the Spokane
(Wash.) Review. Is 1t not character {;
and Is not character ut bottom only
the moral equivalent Of stalwart
backbone7
The gutter fails and falls because
he lacks the force Of character. the
strength of will, which sees possible
ties beyond capacities and regards
obstacles as opportunities, discourage
ment as incentives. The fight which
Is worth attempting at all Is the hght
which deserves to be fought through.
"1t's logged as does It," As when
Hoennn said to Sayers: "Now. Turn
my. lad, It's thou or II" and won the
last round and match.
There was character. It may not
have been ideal character. It GER
tainly was not character in Its high
est expression. But 1t was the sum
Of the mans whole personality. All
the power Of him, all the pith and
punch Of invincible determination
went into the winning of his fight.
The bulldog shows the same strength
Of will when he lets himself be
choked or cut to pieces rather than
let 20 his grip on the other dogs
jugular. a..
1t is this readiness to be killed. II
need be, II one cannot best ones ad-
versary. which, wins the battle Of life
for men and the wars Of nations for
their existence. Such Q readiness 10 q
form Of character and the product,
whether awares or unawarea, Of q
light to achieve character. 1t IL the
reaction Of the spirit to the long
working life and circumstances upon
the raw and plastic ore Of human
nature.
Make money. then. and do % hon
orably. Get Observation-Disclosures the
sake of social service as well a. your
own growth. Win power over men
through right methods Of approach
and appeal. But with all your get
ting and gains achieve character
above all.
Nothing can take the place Of char
acter. It knows no substitute. Clever
ness. cunning and shrewdness are
paper money Character Is the gold
which alone gives them value. Pier
pont Morgan rated character above
collateral as security for loans and
credit. Character 10 the best Of all
assets.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Land Bull. BY Rivers,

The biologists says TINT the Calf
Of Mexico once extended northward
to the mouth of the Ohio. and that all
the land between TINT point and New
Orleans has been built mp by the enrth
washings brought down the river. Even
now the stream carries on the average
something like 4O0,OO0DO0 tons every
year. From the Missouri alone comes
100 tons every second. or more than
100000 cubic Yards every day.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Maggie Lady-Bug-I hear you were
on regular foot last night
Willie Love-Bug-Yes, I was. /
slept In a garage on an automobile
horn.
Lines to Be Remembered.

The atrOciOus crime Of being q
young man which the honorable gen.
tieman has with such spirit and de-
cency charged upon me, shall neither
attempt to palliate nor deny. but con-
tent myself with wishing that may
be one Of those whose follies may
cense with their youth, and not of that
number who are Ignorant in spite of
their experience.-William Pitt. Earl
If Chatham.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
hsero.. with Irish Accent

Southwark and westward from cur
newly acquired Virgin Islands lies the
British possession Of Montserrat-a bit
Of tropic land set in blue sea. Mont
serrat is remarkable for possessing 4
negro population that speaks with .
marked Irish accent, the result Of de-
portations Of Irishmen to this remote
islet more than q century ago. Al
though you can see nothing remotely
resembling son Of the Emerald Isle
In Aontserrat today. your ear can
still catch q touch Of the brogue in
the peculiar dialect Of the place. and
many Of the names are Irish pure and
ample-such as O'Hara and Hogan
and Ryan: there Il even . village OF
xinsale
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
LookIns Through a Tunnel.

Looking Through q Tunnel.
The little circle Of the world you -
when you are looking through me
length Of tunnel IL always beautiful
by contrast. No matter II It u only
stretch Of track with q few scrubby
trees and an arch Of blue sky above
1t, you, looking from the blackness Of
the tunnel, think 1t a picture worthy
an artists brush. To the sick good
health seems happiness enough. and
those who are In trouble ask nothing
better than a mind free from care.
But sensible people do not need to b.
deprived of lies blessings In order
to appreciate them.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Wanted Two Ilds.

Carl was fond Of biscuits, especially
the upper crusts Of them. One morn
Ing when his mother picked up bis
cut to prepare sandwich for him
Carl caught his mothers hand afeec-
tionately and said: please, mamma.
give me two lids"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
MARINE CORPS NEW INSIGNIA
Green Instead Of Blue Uniform 10 Not
Recognized by Those Who Are
Not Up to Minute.

Surprisingly few civilians even after
their country has been In the world
war for nearly yenr can readily
Identify the various uniforms of the
United States service. Especially Is
this true In regard to the United Stntes
marine corps. The change Of the ma
rine corps uniforms from blue to for
est green has added greatly to the be-
wilderment Of the lnyman who likes TO
recognize a military man by his uni
form or insignia.
The small boy. however. Ia not no
easily fooled; as IL shown by an Incl
dent which occurred few days ago.
One Of the sergeants from marine
recruiting station was walking along
the street when he came on group Of
small boys and girls playing on the
sidewalk. As he approached them one
little girl asked:
"What Is that mnn In uniform?'
81. guess he's a French officer" said
another girl.
One of the boys eyed him closely for
a moment. and then planted himself
squnrely In front OF the sergeant. and
holding him by the coat with two
chubby little hands. said: II wana see
watcha got on yer cap"
The Ind knew that the device en-
brncing the globe. eagle and anchor
means marine" whether the wearer
he clothed In blue. forestry green or
Khaki. "Oh. you're a marine. aintcha."
he exclaimed brilliantly. "An' he's a
sergeant and sharpshooter. too" he
told his playmntes. with knowing lit
tie nod
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

The teacher was giving dictation for
. writing lesson. She began "Once up
on time"
please, teacher. what Is punnyr-
asked little girl.
'What do you mean. Lixzie7" asked
the teacher. II do not understand
you"
"You said: Once punny time"
The teacher explained by improving
her enunclation.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Iron stemmed carnatIons.

French horticnlturists by selective
breeding have succeeded in producing
carnations with great, heavy heads
and stems Sd thick and strong that
they support the weight Of the bios
SONS unassisted. The Rrent DIM
Guilty with big carnations hitherto has
been that the stems were too weak.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
4ahe atoop. 10 cenavsr..

"she Stoops to Conquer" grew out
Of an incident that occurred in Gold
smiths travels about Ireland. He
found himself one night far from homo
and inquiring the way to an inn. some
wag directed him to gentleman's
private residence. There he went. or
dered out his horse. demanded the best
supper the place afforded and gener-
ally gave himself airs. He did not
discover his mistake until the next
morning when he was about to pay
his bill.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
The orIsl. u Tea prinklns.

N-6ea drinking seems to have og1g.
mated In China and the Chinese. 20.
cording to Prof. King. In his Farmers
Of Forty Centuries" drank II first
~ = sanitary measure. having found
that boiling their water saved them
from typhoid and afterward adding
tea leaves to make the boiled water
palatable. D.. r. A. Gortnsr of the
University Of Minnesota, writing In
Science. believes that this is not an
exact description Of what happened.
but that the discovery Of the efficacy
Of tea a. typhoid preventive came
after Its general adoption In China -
Q pleasing drink.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
The Angry IRE.

In Australia there grows q species
Of acacia commonly called the '.angry
tree" II reaches the height Of so feet.
after a rapid growth. and in outward
appearance somewhat resembles 4 g.
gnntic century plant. When the sun
sets the leaves fold up and the tender
twies coil tightly. and II the shoots
are handled the leaves rustic and move
uneasily for q time.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

We owe II ~ q patriotic duty to our
selves and our friends to keep In .
happy frame Of mind. With depressed
spirits We cannot do our best. And
now. II ever. We should keep ourselves
in such condition that We can fulfill to
the utmost every duty imposed upon rs.
Let Us cultivate daily the happy frdme
Of mind which makes the rest Of the
world laugh with us.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Garnet apslllns.

One Of the most polished and palms
taking Of English authors regarded
correct spelling as totally unneces-
sary accomplishment. In his introduc-
ton to r. L. Stevenson's letters, Sid
ney Colvin writes: II have not held
myself bound to reproduce all the au-
thor's minor eccentricities Of spelling
and the like. Al all his friends are
aware, to spell In quite accurate and
krown-up manner, was a thing which
this master Of English letters was new
or able to learn"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Curious weedsn cIee,..

Seattle. WASH, boasts . curious
wooden clock. three and half feet
In diameter. with minute hand over
four feet long. The case IL not guar
anteed. but 1t Is supposed to be over
225 years old and il expected to last
for some years to come. The works
are placed In a section Of Douglas ar
log. one end Of which 10 ornamented
with the face numerals.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

No race can prosper till II learns
that there is as much dignity in filling
held as In writing poem. 1t Is at
the bottom Of life we pust begin, and
not at the top. Nor should we permit
our grievances to overshadow our OPP
portunity.-Booker T. Washington.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28

GUIDED rural DIS
trict was telling
a city man the
other day about
how the farmers
keep their roads In
good shape In the
section In which
he was sojourning.
'There aren't any
state roads In TINT
part Of the couIl.
try" he says. land
No helcty mr. mn ras1.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Made Him p,vovt chr,stl.n.

Gen. Lew Wallace said that before
writing Ben Hur" he had NO fixed re-
ligious convictions. but as the story
grew and the Christ figure assumed
reality his whole life was affected by
1t and when the work was completed
he found himself for the first time In
his life devout Christian.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1918-12-28
Some EIshi

I'm my entire piscatorial expert
ence." said the truthful traveller. II
never came across a fish 30 accommo-
dating as the shovel fish Of South
America. 1t has a snout the shape Of
shovel and 1t will jump out ON the
bank and dig bait for you to catch 1t
with"