The Tulsa star. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1913-1921, 1918-04-06
Mr.. SIMPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT MeRLAIR-

MI Simpkins snzcd at the por,rall
Oh he wall till his eyes dlled with
tears. It was portrait OF his father
Colonel Slmpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor dL.iIg the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for TWO reasons First, he
reverenced and adored the memory of
bis father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
20 tn war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis.
ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
ia imagination. the khaki-clad lads ~
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles OF sea to
fight maybe die for liberty
MIR SimpbinS peered around to make
sure that neither BeSS nor John (vho
were al the teasing ages OF sixteen
and scy"ntecn) were where they could
see him. then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for salute
Bui his gouty shoulder twinged. and he
groauod II" couldn't even salute.
Damn said Mr. Simpkins, and
with his other hand ficrcely twirled his
white mustachos.
lie turned and llmped into the II.
hrary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax Stntc-
mcnt blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
me officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Nir Simpklns' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather Snappy on the sub
iect Of taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage OF II he
pays In taxes. He could think OF sew
eral men who. like himself, were mar.
ried and had two children, and yet.
although their incomes were nearly
half OF his, they would pay only
small fraction OF the amount he paid.
He gloomlly drew the blank nearer
and began flling In the information
that II asked for
As Mr. Slmpkins' income was $1,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each OF the successive smaller
classes OF incomes In order to arrive
at the total due from himself He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes, that is, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First they pay per cent. (under
Ia.v all lV.A
$1,000, deducting $500 for each OF their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpklns case this was s212, which he
put down In the payable" column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional 2
per cent. on all over S2,OO0-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $3.50 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
s. 500 Jump in his income over 5000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top OF all this came an "Ex-
cess Profits" tax OF s per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, max
ing $720 more.
The total, then. he must pay was four.
teen hundred and thlrty-four dollars.
"Whew r. exclaimed Mr.. Slmpklns
angrily. There's young Henry VII
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay
cent OF taxes. l guess this In his war
a. yell as mlne"