The Washington herald., 1918-01-06


challenging Walter Dyson. an ex-
pert bone roller, to have a little
lgame.
We don't mean that Henry knew
nothing about craps. Oh, no. But
compared to Walter, he was a mere
infant.
In about ten minutes, Walter had
81 OF Henry's. Two men who were
looking on whispered in Henry's
ear. They advised him to quit while
the quitting was good.
In five more minutes. 81 more of
Henry's hard earned cash found its
way in Walters pocket
Then he wanted his money back.
so Walter said. And because he
didn't get it back, Henry reached
in his hip pocket. pulled out a bot
tie, drained II down his throat and
then broke IL over Walters head.
Walter fell across a chair. Henry
took the jagged edge of the bottle
and almost cut his initials in the
fallen mans cheeks.
The court shuddered when IL
heard this part of the story. II
sounded rather Germanish. But
even at that it only fined Henry
s25.
| Same Old Trick.
One morning last week. Joe May
field poked his head out of the win
dow in his room and hollered 10
Jessie Carroll
Jessie was on her way to work
and was reluctant to stop. But #
was important that she did, Joe told
her. because someone had stolen his
clothes and he just had TO get TO
work.
Jessie went to her brothers
house and secured some clothing.
She came back hurriedly and was
about to throw them over the tran
som of Joe's room when in stepped
Lottie Cameron.
She glared at Jessie. Joe over
heard some of the catty remarks
that passed between the two wom-
en-. In a minute he understood
how his clothes got swiped and
who swiped them.
Lottie did the trick, he said She
didn't want him to look cross-eyed
at another woman. So she stole his
clothes to keep him in doors.
And here was her hated rival Un-
doing what she thought was a fine
piece Of work. Hence her rage al
Jessie.
Before Joe could get dressed
both women had clinched. Hail
was flying every way.
The cops got the pair. But We
know who Joe loves, because h,
Ipaid Jessie's fine of IS.
Things Are Getting Fierce.
It's not safe these days to ever
take your best fellow to see YOU
married relations.
Annie Kemp took her beau. Isaa'
. Melton. around to see her married
cousin. Ella Wheeler.
And because Ella was married
Annie thought it was perfectly safe
She didn't care if they did hOlC
hands and whisper sweet nothingi
! in each others ears.
This may sound a little scandal
Gus, but it's true. Annie gamblet
on what she thought was a sur,
thing and lost
Ella and Isaac got too chumm!
all of a sudden. So Annie swears
. She demonstrated with cousin Ella
but it was useless.
:: She even complained to Ella
husband. but he couldn't see good
Maybe he had a reason.
! 1t wasn't long before Ella ant
Annie had it out on the parlor floor
Ella got a half-Nelson before tn,
bout was half over
Annie took her troubles to court
The cops brought Ella. Isaac look
cd on as a matter of course. H,
was neutral with a big an"
And so a little IS bill which tn,
court told Ella to fork up. settled
/ all the differences among all hands
King SoIomon's Luck.
ledge. de Good Book sez da
King Solomon had sebben honderet
wives. Well-Ah am a poah cullut
man en- Abs got dat sebben hon
dered rolled inter one, en- she is d,
debbiTs own ter handle"
! We'll. from what you say now,
said the court to Luke Emery. I'll
seems as though you were ready
to commit 700 murders and only get
hung once"
'Tain't dat. ledge" pleaded Luke
"Ah only 'sists dat All has de right
ter chastise dat woman when sh,
doan behave herself"
/ ''Of course you have a right tC
insist on law and order in YOU
house" the court went on. but yoI
. cannot do it with a club"
. ledge" piped up wifey. "maI
husband dere has been married NV,
times. He beat all his wives. Ell
now he wants ter knock mah bloch
; of. Eff All didn't TEX his pay en-.
, belope awayfen him cherry week Al
jes' couldn't lib wild him"
When the court heard all tn,
facts, it loks as though botf
d Luke and his wife was to blame.
But even that didn't give him az
excuse to threaten to murder her
On his promise not to. the court
let him out on bonds to keep tn,
peace.
, Foolish Woman.
There are some women in thii
; world who don't care how mucl
they hurt a fellows feelings.
One night, about two weeks ago
Ted Carpenter and his wife Juli,
went visiting. Ted had insisted
that they stay in that night bu'
wifey said nix.
Along about ten o'clock the tall
drifted to husbands and their gooC
and bad points.
Several women made remarks
complimentary and otherwise abou
their hubbys. Then Julia started.
= "Ah tell yo, Miss Mathha," she be
gan, ''Ted's awright sometimes, bu
he'se de durndest arCifer yo eve
saw when he gifts started"
Right here Ted began to boi
, over. He knew bloomin' well tina
Julia did all the talking in hi
house.