davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

AROUND THE BARRACKS


What will it be like. no S. A. T. c.?
The rookie of the "ratty" Athens. or
some other of the barracks about
town, crawls into his blankets these
cold nights with almost a satisfied feel
ing that it will soon all be over. He
closes his eyes and wonders what it
will be like to have real sheets to
crawl into and not the scratchy blan-
kets. He wonders what it will be
like to sleep with all of ones clothes
in the closet or on the chair. He
wonders what it will be like to ig-
more the fire whistle, reveille. the Big
Ben, or even the old timey eight
o'clock bell. Oh, can you imagine,
what it would be like, to be just
little sick, and to have breakfast in
bed. He simply can't imagine what
the breakfast would taste like.
He thinks of the inside of sorority
house, tapestry davenport, a rose
colored lamp, and then he wonders if
he can still dance or have his feet ex-
panded, only as German national i'm
perialism can expand, to fill his "cal-
lumphing" brogans. OF course he will
be in "cits." Silk hose, won't they
feel funny, and hair as long as you
want it. all slicked back, and a tie
with color in it and a suit-anything
but brown. And then if you don't
want it, no shine, not a single button
on, no shave, no salute, no drill, or
anything 1t will be like it was be-
fore we knew what preparedness,
propaganda, or Poilus meant and when
Hoover was just Hoover and influenza
was for old ladies and chow for China
men.
1t will be like it was when there was
a Missouri-Kansas game and mass
meetings and shirt-tail parades and
rock quarry "busts" and Savitars and
Queens and Campus Kings. 1t will be
like it was when there was golf on the
golf links and gymnastics in the gym,
grass around the columns and waffles
at the Cafe 1t will be like it was
when Prexy and the Coach and ]. w.
Hudson were in the lime light and
when Preventive Med belonged to
Doc" Ravenel. 1t will be like the
days when the only disturbances
were dog fights or serenaders and
when fraternity houses were used for
dances and masks for masquerades.
1t will be like the days when there
was studying in the library and sleep
ing on mattresses, when there was
fussing, formals and finals. Those
were the good old days. Satisfied
that's what we'll be all over Mable.
The phrase ON the Goblers'll git
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
UNUSUAL FURNITURE

In the ordinary American home the
furniture conforms to the style of the
present but Mrs. A H. R. Fairchild
has in her possession some antique
furniture which adds both uniqueness
and beauty to her home.
The set consists of two chairs,
foot rest, a fireplace rest and a couch
from the early Georgian period, with
thin carved legs and arms, slight in
lays of gold in the wood and uphol-
stery a solid mass of handwork. The
wood mounting is solid walnut. Even
the backs of the chairs are walnut in
contrast to most modern upholstered
furniture which has cloth backs. The
design on the cloth covering was made
by hand by Mrs. Fairchild's mother
about fifty years ago. The set was
started when she was sixteen years
old and completed four years later.
The design was copied after some
furniture she saw in Europe.
The handwork was done on canvas
with a design much the same as that
used in cross stitching now. The Dor
der of red is worked in solid like the
darning of the present. The rose de-
sign is beaded in shades of gray and
green-not in rows of beads following
an outline but in solid mass of beads.
The chairs are small, with carved
legs and narrow high straight backs.
The couch is long with arms at eth
er end and high back upholstered
with the hand-worked material. The
set originally contained several 9TH
er pieces. One of these was prayer
chair with low seat and back in
the shape of a cross.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Custard Potatoes,

Cut into half inch dice sufficient
cold boiled potatoes to measure one
pint Heat l pint of milk, add " a
teaspoon of salt, dash of paprika
and 2 well-beaten eggs. Cook over
hot water until slightly thickened,
add a tablespoon of chopped parsley
and pour over the potatoes that have
been placed in a buttered baked dish.
Set the dish in a pan of hot water
and bake in a moderate oven for about
twenty-five minutes. The custard should
not be as firm as baked custard, but
should cover each piece of potato like
a Hollandaise sauce.-New York Tri-
bune
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
LEATHER, ON THE WING!

as "spuds" or "Murphys." Sweet po-
tatoes are called sweet spuds" or
educated Murphys."
Any baked mixture like hashis known
as "goulash" or "slum-gullion." Stew
is called Dukes mixture"
At breakfast when soldier calls
for a bale of hay" he gets a shredded
wheat biscuit.
The convalescent table has it own
specialty-"graveyard stew" or bread
and milk Oatmeal ana other cooked
cereals are classed as goo.
Condiments of any kind are called
fluid, short for 'embalming, fluid"
Many of the men are wondering
what they are going to say when they
go home on leave and dine with the
family But they are all enthusiastic
about this Mess Hall vernacular and
use it all the time.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Art In Made-0YerS.

Twenty-four girls in the home
economics clothing division of the
University are planning to hold a
fashion show at the Gordon Hotel
Building next Monday morning. To
be sure style show in war times
does sound quite frivolous though Ger
many has been beautifully whipped,
but in this case there is nothing at
all frivolous in the proposed display.
The dresses to be worn by the stu
dents Monday morning have been made
from old materials only. Trunks and
wardrobes have been searched for out
of date or cast-off garments which
might be converted into up-to-the-
minute wearing apparel. If suit, coat
or dress was deemed too old or queer
for consideration, it was made over;
and many seemingly impossible gar
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

Shoot the salve. Pass the leather"
Not liking the usual names of food
stuffs, the collegiate S. A. T. c. mem
bers have renamed them at the Mess
Hall. For instance the word pass"
has as substitutes shoot" head it
this way" ship C. Q. d." ION the
wing" or ION the fly"
please" or "if you please" is not
in vogue, except when one is in hur-
ry to get something. Then its use
attracts the attention of the whole
table
Butter has a number of alibis-
"oleo," hard OIL" grease" and
"salve." Meat is dignifed by the
word leather" "Calsomine" or
"whitewash" will bring the milk to
the soldiers end of the table.
Java" and "chicory" are synonyms
for coffee, while potatoes masquerade
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Our Program OF Saving.

When we were asked to eat no
wheat bread on Monday and Wednes-
dav that was something definite to do.
When we are just told to save, begin
ming with next week, National Con-
servation Week, it leaves US with no
tangible program. We ask with a
more or less helpless feeling, What
more can we do than at present? We
don't waste anything or throw it
away
How many of us who sit at table
can rank 100 per cent perfect for the
last week on the following ways of
saving?
l. Did not once take a little more
butter than we wanted We left it to
be thrown away or we ate it when
we did not need it.
2. Did not once eat, absent-mind-
edly, from a box of candy when we
didn't want candy at all. In fact we
really felt worse afterward.
3. Did not, just to be sociable, eat
a between-meal dish of ice cream or
an extra sandwich or the tenth marsh
mallow which was toasted a beauti-
full. irresistible brown.
How many who preside in American
kitchens can say that for a whole
week they have not burned a piece
of toast, thrown away some cereal
planned a meal oversuppked with
food value so that the family was
tempted to overeat, forgotten a dish
of food which was to be used as left.
overs but really was allowed to mould
so it had to be thrown away, found
the dish-water coated with a layer o.
grease that was too freely used il
the skillets and roasting pans?
And yet we are so tender-heartet
that we wouldn't let a stray dog come
to our back door for food and go ava!
hungry. Let's hope that we can keel
our Imagination keen enough that W.
may not forget the starvation, which
does not come skulking to our bacl
door, but which does send to us jus
as real an appeal from over the seas
And that relief may come to thosi
who are hungry by the little bits o
saving which every true man, woman
and child can practice.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Shocking DESTINATION.

My dear, you mustn't let anybody
read that letter from Cousin George
at the front. I'm surprised that he'd
write such things"
whats the matter with his letter.
It's mighty interesting"
Didn't you read that part of his
letter where he says he was out with
British tank last night and rolled
all over the ace?"-Detroit Free
Press.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Peanut Butter and Fruit Rolls.

Mix cups of flour, Y teaspoon salt,
level teaspoons baking powder, y
cup shortening, and Y cup milk. Roll
thin Mix one-third cup peanut but
ter with 1 tablespoon butter creamed
and spread on dough, sprinkle with
raisins or dried currants. Roll like
jelly roll and cut into pieces ~ in
ches long, set on end in buttered
pan close together and bake about %
minutes.-Kansas City Star.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
School Methods in the Home.

Did you wife scold you last night
when you came home late?"
"You don't know what it is to have
a wife who was once a school teacher.
She simply made me write hundred
times on a slate, I must be home by
10 o'clock'."-New York Globe.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
MASKS
(By C. Cheng, a Chinese pre-jour-

(By C. Cheng, a Chinese pre-jour-
nalist.)
The properties of masks are two
merits and defects. Their merits de-
serve to be welcomed, praised, re-
warded and defects to be neglected,
condemned, banished. But these two
opposite characters, like those in
some human individuals, are so
blended together that we can not have
the one without the other. Exactly
what is natures purpose to make
them such is beyond our imagination.
We may, however, by a careful analy-
sis of their merits, be able to make
fullest application of their merits and
least of their defects. That is, per-
haps, all we can do.
We shall draw our illustrations
only from the masks which the Uni
versity now employs. No one can
deny their merits in this great cpl
demic from the standpoint of health.
When that mysterious germ exercises
its power on the life and death of man,
our strength, intelligence and elo-
quence stand helpless. The Allies
machine guns may bring down au-
tocratic Germany. The skillful diplo-
macy of America may create world
peace. But all these the tiny germ
mocks and disparages. Only to the
masks can we turn for help. They
are our very anti-toXin against the
dreadful enemy.
| But to this merit unfortunately at
taches a defect which at the same
time Injuries the health. That is
they interfere with our breath and
compel us to inhale the carbondioxide
our body elects.
Aside from the effects-good and
bad-upon health, let US consider too
the by-products which the wearing of
masks produces. None would say
they are good-looking. They conceal
the most valuable and beautiful part
of the face. We saw, on the first re-
opening day of the school, great re-
luctance shown by the girls in taking
them up. After wearing them, fol-
lowed laughter; after laughter, fol-
| lowed blush. This sad damage to the
personal pride may even, to some ex-
tent, carry its effects into mans cir
Gle But is this q pure defect? No,
the very fact of concealing is good for
some. Those who have bad teeth, for
instance, are glad to wear them, be-
cause covering ugliness is adding
| beauty.
Thus the same principle runs
through a series of consequences. We
may miss a friend in mask, but we
sometimes purposely pass him by
without a "hollo." They may make
our recitations not clear, but we
sometimes do purposely take them as
an excuse for ambiguous Rotations.
Merits and defects of masks are in
deed in these aspects inseparable. The
two are but the same identity viewed
in different faces.
| Masks, however, are not the only
thing which has these two aspects !;
nor are they the only masks. There
are masks in friendship, masks in poll
tics, masks in arts and even the uni
verse itself is monstrous mask.
These different masks all have their
own merits and defects. Philosophy
and science are nothing but cropping
at these invisible masks and trying to
interpret them in the two aspects.
The masks we take for discussion
then represent in miniature and con-
crete form all these intangible masks
that puzzle the human brain.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
The Real Broadway.

What is the name of this street?"
This is Broadway" replied the
proud citizen of Dubbsville.
"Ah! Named in honor of the famous
thoroughfare, presume?"
why, this is the famous thorough
fare, sir"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Willing tn FxD1ain.

Second Lieutenant-"Your reports
should be written in such a manner
that even the most ignorant may IN
derstand them"
Sergeant-"Well, sir, what part is it
you don't understand"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
THEY SAY

The Washington Post asks why the
kaiser should be interned in a pleasant
little place like Holland? They sug-
gest that he be informed in a New York
subway or something.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

One cannot always tell the identity
of a person by looks, especially in
these days of masks. The other day
at sanitary inspection at one of the
barracks, physician, in surgical coat
and mask, with head covering, was
walking down a hall A youth ran
out and up TO him, all excited, and
said who's next? Who's next? Have
you got many ahead of me?" 1t turn
ed out that he thought the doctor
was a barber and since he had class
the next hour and was in need of a
haircut he was anxious to be next"
At this same barracks another mem
Der of the S. A. T. c. wanted to know
the name of the senior medic who was
inspecting them. He was somewhat
chagrined to learn that the Senior
medic" was a professor in the School
of Medicine.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

Also speaking of Wilhelm, the
Brooklyn Eagle remarks that Ger
many's greatest work of art is that
final bust" of the kaiser.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Why They Cheered.

AS the regiment was leaving and
crowd cheering, recruit asked, Who
are all those people cheering?"
They" replied a veteran, ARE the
people who are not going. Life.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

And, they merely 'ex' a dethroned
emperor in these gentle times, not ex-
ecute him." observes the st. Louis
Globe Democrat.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

you eff you don't watch out" proved
too true to at least one member of the
collegiate section of the s. A T. c.
the night after his Thanksgiving din
ner.
About 4 o'clock yesterday morning
the majority of the soldiers in one of
the barracks, from the first floor to
the third floor, were awakened by
sounds of distress. These sounds
were traced to a sleeper's bunk who
just then screamed ooh, Oh-h, Help"
as if he were in mortal agony.
Seemingly he was like the little boy
who ate too much turkey Thanksgiv-
ing and that night dreamed the turkey
was eating him. In reality he was
dreaming he was in a mud puddle and
was sinking. rapidly sinking. At the
time of his appeal for aid he declares
that he was covered with the mud up
to his neck and mud was coming in
his mouth.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

The Carthage Evening Press thinks
that the weather man is sending
enough crisp weather to convince the
people that the holiday season is APP
preaching. 1t is also the eleventh
hour warning to fill the coal and wood
box
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

Some of the members of a company
of the S. A. T. C. were discussing what
to do with the kaiser.
On taking the vote of the company
it was found that the majority were in
favor of bringing him here and putting
him in the S. A. T. c.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

What effect has the war had on the
English language?" asked a high brow
of the Kansas City Star.
1t has eliminated good many pop
ular expressions. For instance this
one, IF we should be attacked by a
foreign foe, we could raise an army
over night. A million men would
spring to arms and be able to lick the
world"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
A Military Problem.

"What are you knitting, my pretty
maid?"
She purled, then dropped stitch.
"a sock or sweater, SIR" she said,
"And darned if l know which"
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

Every girls ideals" are getting
broader these days The military
training makes them that way, espe-
cially across the shoulders. So the
st. Louis Post Dispatch thinks.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
Personal.

Dear Joe: Come home, Forgive
and Forget 1 have destroyed the
book of war recipes. Violet.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

The Chicago Daily News observes
that some men get under a cloud for
the purpose of sweeping the silver
lining.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

Someone says in the San Francisco
Chronicle that the army of tourists is
now waiting to charge Europe Per-
haps SO, answers someone else, but
Europe will also be ready to charge
the tourists.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

German efficiency has had suffi-
cheney. The Columbia Record thinks
that Do you?
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

A new fraternity, Alpha chapter OF
Phi Kappa Psi was re-established at
the University.
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30
10 Years Ago Today.

Missouri's inability to execute
trick plays and Kansas eXpertless
with the onside kick lost the annual
Thanksgiving game at Kansas City by
the score of 10 to 4 and gave Kansas
the undisputed championship of the
Missouri Valley The University Mis-
sourian had continuous telephone
service announcing to large crowd
in the University Auditorium the
progress of the game play by play.
A library building, physics build
ing and an addition to the Chemistry
Building were among the requests of
the Missouri General Assembly de-
cided upon at a meeting of the Board
of Curators of the University held at
Kansas City.
Mrs. c, B. Miller gave reception
at her home on Maryland place in
honor of Mrs. William Conley. Re-
freshments were served by Mrs. BURY
McAlester, Mrs. l. o. Hockaday, Mrs.
JChn Sykes and Miss Willis. About
200 guests were present
In response to the fact that Nebras-
ka University students favored Presi-
dent A. Ross Hill to be their next
chancellor, President Hill replied that
he was we'll satisfied with the people
here and while he loved the Univer-
sity of Nebraska and would have been
proud to go back as chancellor to the
institution he left as a graduate, 1t
would require a hard pull to get him
back.
A new fraternity, Alpha chapter OF
Phi Kama Psi was re-established at
The Evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1917-1920, 1918-11-30

THE phrase ON the Goblers1l git
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-03-26
~ Up to the Minute
~ SPORTING NEWS
n FROM EVERYWHERE.
TAKE BIC CHANCE
Promoters Who Bid High for
Bout May Get Stung.
Can willard and Fulton Draw
a $15O,OOO Crowd!

New York, March 26.-Bids out of
all proportion are being made for the
championship bout between Jess Will
lard and Fred Fulton, which will be
staged somewhere on July next.
The tangle will be one of the great
est eyer seen. A huge crowd will wit
ness it. It's a fine sporting gamble
for a promoter to take in arranging
the scrap and bidding a huge sum.
But-the Willard-FLl bout isn't
worth $4,000 of any mans money
and it's very probable that just this
much will be offered. A Fort Wayne,
Ind, promoter already, says he has put
up $4,000 as the mark for rival bid
ders to shoot at
There are reasons to believe that
twenty-round bout between these two
huskies would draw as well as the
Jeffries-J ohnson match in Reno. In
that event a huge offer would not be
out of place. But, with war taxes to
pay, increased cost of building mater
ialS for erection of an arena, increased
cost of training, printing and every
other thing that goes to make a cham
pionship fight, it's much more of
gamble than was the affair between
Jeffries and Johnson.
The Fort Wayne man probably has
overstepped himself in announcing
the bout would be held in Fort Wayne
There is hardly chance the Indiana
authorities would stand for it His
offer, therefore. may be discounted
But New Orleans has offered $4,000
and New Orleans is the logical place
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-03-26
AT TRAINING CAMPS

Los Angeles. Cal. March 26.-The
Chicago Cubs motored to this city
carly To-Day from Pasadena prepared
% meet Ahe Vernon Tigers. A prac-
ticc romp at Long Beach Monday
retted a 4 to / victory over the high
school team there.
Marlin. Tex, March 26.-Some ink
Ing of hor- the champion Giants
will be lined up when they open up
the 1918 season was given here today
following a farcical game between the
Giants and the aviators training at
Waco. Young led off with Kauff
batting second and George Burns,
former lead off man coming in third.
Heinie Zimmerman hold his position
rs clean up man, with Larry Doyle in
fifth place.
Mineral Wells. Tex. March 90
Beaten by the Yannigans, 10 to 5, the
cha NIPPON White Scx expected to ex-
act revenge today in practice Ses-
sion at Jacksboro. Texas. The ath-
letes motored TO that city this morn
ing. Benz, Faber and Cicotte made il
look like summer by putting some
thing on the ball for the first time.
Macon. Ga, March 26.-One more
Yankee is missing. Howard Camp
recruit outfielder, has gone to join a
bigger Yankee team. He was called
to join the army and has left to re-
port Camp would have been select
ed as a utility outfielder.
St. Petersburg. Fla, March 26.-
"watchful waiting" is Pat Moran's
diplomacy. The Pills manager will
extend the glad hand to any of his
numerous holdouts whom he needs
badly, but has decided not to wear
himself out trying to talk reason in
stead of money to them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-03-26
Food for Fans
BY GEO. z. PRAIR-
(Copyright.)

Song.
When the winds of Winter smite me,
And the Arctic gales alright me,
There is one song to delight me.
And | sing 1t DER and DER.
When the winds of Winter chill me.
And a herd of ailments fill me,
There is one song that will thrill me;
It's THE Old Box Score.
CLIO.
o, the Old Box Score
o, the Old Box Score
when the winds OF Winter chill me
= repeat 1t DER and DER.
O, the Old Box Score.
O, the Old Box Score
There Is one song that will thrill me
It's The Old Box Score.
Everybody loves box score at this
time of year. but no sporting editor
ever has known to perish with pleas
ure over bevy of doubleheaders on
Labor Day.
A glance at Col. Millers necktie is
enough TO convince even the most
skeptical that he is leading light.
George Burns was the hes. waiter in
the National league last year. HE also
serves who stands and waits.
1t may be all right for Governor
Alexander to play golf with Bill Wrig-
ley. but. from a baseball standpoint, he
IL cumming up the game