New Britain herald., 1918-12-04
SUCH AN AMUSING CHAP.

Theodore Roosevelt, self appointed peace commissioner and chief high plenipotentiary from Oyster Bay, makes it unnecessary for the United States and the Allies to hold peace conference at all, Colonel Roosevelt knows what should be done and with a dip of ink and a steel pen he set ties permanently all the international problems that have been caused by the war. With native bashfulness, Colonel Roosevelt waited until the last moment before acquainting the people of the world with his views, which is to be regretted, for had the Colonel only informed the interested nations earlier it would probably have meant the abandonment of arrange ments for the congress at Paris. Any one who knows Colonel Roosevelt's dislike for publicity and his strong desire to shrink from the 1imelight understands, of course, that he with held his opinions because he did not care to meddle in affairs that right fully belong in the hands of other folks.
 "It is our duty to stand by our al- lies says Colonel Roosevelt a plati- tude which admits of no discussion although it might be more beneficial to America if Standing by, like charity. began at home. President Wilson's Fourteen Points,? This (businoss of snapping the fngers) for those. So the "Fourteen Points" are peace conference. They're simply not to be considered. Colonel Roosevelt says Q. The British Empire needs the greatest navy in the world, the Colonel asseverates. As the British Empire now has~the greatest navy in the world it is probable she will re- tain it unless Colonel Roosevelt can suggest some magic by which some other country can build a greater navy over night. And if King George ever decides to step off the throne we know one man who will gladly as sume the burdens of office Then he'll show those Americans a few things. The ColoneTs unconditional surren- der to England places him in line for the ernline.
 'The British must, of course, keep the colonies they have conquered" Of course. Certainly. Otherwise Inc Colonel will start the pesky war all over again.
 There is one point in the CoIoners statement which must not pass with out contradiction. He says that President Wilson is himself respon- sible for any division among the American people as regards the peace conference at this time. That Is not true If there is any division among the Am erican people a. this hour it is because of the picayUne, Underhand- $ cd methods of men like Colonel Roosevelt, men who would not hesi- tate to stoop to any political trickery If they could thus increase their per sonal prestige.
 Tn proof Of the previous paragraph ts the statement by Colonel Roose veit his next plank, that the only people who have accepted the Four - teen Points" are President Wilson, Hearst, VieTeck and as l understand It, . number Of pro- Germans and pa cihsts and international socialists" That sneaking nsinuat1cn cannot go unchaIIeged by anyone who knows President Wilson's brand of Ameri- canism, which compares very favor ably with that of the Guelph wor- shipping Roosevelt
 Eut why become heated over Col - oneI Roosevelt! He is such. an anus iag fellow, sort of a court jester, and life would be fiat without the sauce of his words. And if he can furnish chuckie for the Lrcakfast ble why attempt to keep him silent?