davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
A Better Witness.

A driver who had been brought be-
fore the court charged with cruelty TO
animals admitted that he had driven a
CALLED mule. but demanded acquittal on
the testimony of veterinarian, VINO
declared that the sore on the mules
back did not pain the animal in the
least. The judge listened to the long
technical opinion, says Case and Com
ment, and then asked where the mule
was. When he heard that it was har-
messed to a wagon that stood in front
of the courthouse, he adjourned the
court for five minutes.
He took his cane and proceeded to
the street, went up to the mule and
with tine end of his cane gently touched
the sore spot on the animals back. The
mule promptly tried to kick the dash
board off the wagon. Once again the
Judge touched the sore spot with his
cane, and the mule responded as before.
The Judge returned to the bench and
ordered the prisoner to appear before
him.
"With all due respect to the expert
testimony you have introduced in your
behalf to show that the mules back does
not pain him, will fine you fifty dol
lars" announced the judge. 81 asked
the mule if the sore hurt him, and he
said il did"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
0angrene.

Gangrene means the local death OF
some part OF The body When il attacks
the bony system physicians call< il ne
crosiS II may occur as one OF the late
symptoms OF an acute disorder. such as
typhoid fever, scarlet fever or ordiphtheria
it may result from injury 10 the extremites
caused by severe irostoite. That form
known as senIe gangreue, which attacks
the aged, is OF slow progress and IS
caused by arierisl obstruction; the type
kuown as carbolc-acid gangrene is trace
able TO an oyeruse OF this drug as an
antiseptic dressing.
There is also a form OF gangrene called
noma, which is coriined TO children who
have been weaned II is likely 10 attack
the mouth and cheeks, and is generally
fatal, although II is so often associated
with other diseases that II is difficult 10
state definitely whether or not il actually
causes the fatal termination.
In the days before physicians knew
very much about the antiseptic treatment
OF wounds there was a great deal OF
hospital gangrene During the Civil War
many cases occurred IN the military hos
pitals In the present war, also, there
are cases OF gangrene. not because the
surgeons do not understand antiseptic
treatment but because OF the terrible
conditions, the hideous nature OF the
wounds, and the length OF time that often
elapses before severe wounds can be
properly handled A type OF gangrene,
sometimes called "gas gangrene' be-
cause of the tact that various kinds OF
gas producing microbes cause II. is likely
10 occur in wounds that show a great
deal OF confusion and laceralion, such as
are seen so trequeHtly in the present
war. But modern antseptc methods are
wonderful, and army surgeons are saving
thousands OF cases that would have been
hopeless in times that are still so near
that many Of us remember them
In the treatment OF gangrene II is
necessary 10 DO everything possible TO
sustain the strength OF the patient and
TO accomplish everything that circum-
stances permit in the way OF local antIsep-
SIS. The physicians should isolate the
patient. give him stimuIants and remove
Sloughug tissue by knife or cautery and,
If il becomes neces ,ary, by amputatlon.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
knew Ihe Location.

Derrigan lived in an old cottage which
stood in ileId near the high road 10 Dub
lin The foundations Of the house were
lower than the road. through which ran
a great water main. As the living floor
OF The house was raised on posts 10 max
il level with the highway, II left large
cellar underneath, where Derrigsn kept
several hens One day the water main
burst. flooded the cellar and drowned the
hens
Deuigsn Immediately put in claim
for damages. Alter a long delay and
much trouble influential friends assisted
the old man TO get $40 in settlement Of
his claims.
That evening he saw Mrs. Cassidy, his
next door neighbo., sitting on her back
steps.
81 got me money ircr the district
council" he called 10 her.
IDid yez. then, Mr.. Derigan2 It's
glad am. How much did yez get 2"
Two pounds "
GLORY be An hey' yez The money!
81 hav not. but had it."
What did yez do with IT ?"
"Sure, ] bought $40 worth of ducks
wild it,"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Not For The Captain.

A sick soldier OF the National Army.
a mere boy. was sent from nearby camp
TO the Walter Reed Hospital. and The
other day his captain went over 10 see
how he was getting along. lie asked The
doctor what he was suffering from.
Nothing but melancholia." said The
surgeon. "He has The finest case OF
homesickness ever saw. Better 90 IN
and cheer him up. for he's a long way
from his iolks and as blue as indigo"
SO the captain went into The sick room
and sat by the bed oi The sufferer and
talked TO him, and soon had the Rlooms
on strategic retreat. Finally he arose
TO CO. The kids eyes filled with tears
and his lips began 10 iremble.
What's the matter now. son 2" asked
the officer.
"Well. SIR" said the youngier. when
was home my mother always used TO
kiss me good night Won't you kiss me
good night. captain 2"
No" said The captain, backing toward
the door, "l'Il be damned II will-but
I'll send you in Red Cross nurse"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
The Army Mule Conquers Europe.

The American mule. now doing his
''bii," ssd dong il well. in battlefront
Flinders. has won appreciation ssd praise
from Tommy Atkins and Tommy's su-
periors. A correspondent Of the New
York Sun. writing from the British front,
describes him in the following manner:
In warm winter coat, with long. inqui-
sitve ears Hopping back and forth, he
marches up among the roaring guns with
steady nonchalsnce that lends conf
dence and iillh 10 The fighting men who
depend so much upon him.
"A most magnificent creature. replied
a British brgadier. when the correspond
ent asked his opinion OF the American
mule And he has much better char
acter than is generally given him. He IS
somewhat like camel in that repect.
Most persons cry down and berate the
poor old camel. but. once you get 10
know him. he is much 10 be admired.
The mule has some ways with him that
the British Tommy didn't quite appre-
ciate al first but now that they are bet
ter acquainted and have formed sort OF
entente cordiale, the two have the utmost
respect for each other. and carry on at
the front with complete understanding
and effectiveness
The mule had his supreme test on this
front in the battles oith, Somme. There
were days and nights o, uncsaslng labor
and short raiious. The strain was con-
slant and terrific. In ratio 10 the number
employed, six horses succumbed where
a single mule gave way.
1.-The horse. OF course, is OF finer fibre
and is far more sensitive. II he stumbles
INTO d shell hole titled with water he vii
strive and struggle 10 get out until he
actually dies OF broken heart. Not SO
the mule. He has no imagination and not
much OF an outlook on life. lie calmly
and phiosophically lies in the shell hole
until some one comes along and hauls
him out !"
Because he is generally civil and goes
TO sleep sometimes just abait oi bowling
nine inch gun, II must not be supposed
that the American mule has lost all his
old craft aud mulish cunning Az one OF
the hospitals there is a sulphur dip" or
bath Most OF The horses will plunge in
over their heads and swim through, get
ting the full benefit OF the disiniection.
But Mr.. Mule is too suspicious to take
such chances. He is dawn IN with great
reluctance and holds his head high above
the yellow liquid. One old mule went
through six times one day, but moi once
did he get his head wet until the soldiers
resorted 10 ST onges.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
on County, West Virginia. Thursday, January TO- 1918
Prayer and Miracle.

at seems TO me sir, that your concep-
ton of prayer involved supernatural
conception of the universe" said Bob
Graham 10 his minister. "whereas as a
plain matter of fact, as Matthew Arnold
said, miracles don't happen"
DR.. Brown laughed gently as he led
the boy to a seat. "Well, Matthew Ar
mold was a great man M>several ways"
he said genially, "and hope to honor
him duly, but he certainly made
very superficial remark, and one easily
disproved when it said that"
Bob smiled condescendingly at his
pastor. Easily disproved, doctor"
Certainly" replied the doctor. 81
think for one thing that ubiquitous mir
acle of personality that We all eX-
perience so often. How many times
es have been tired and weak and ready
have been tired and weak and ready
to quit, when have met some peculiar
ly strong and vigorous friend and talk
ed with him for a while-and come
away strong, refreshed, made over"
"Yes, sir" said Bob. 81 have had that
very experience"
"Of course you have" replied the
doctor. "And sometime you have been
bowed down with despair when con-
tact with another friend has filled you
overhowing with courage. Again, when
you have known deep sorrow, another
friend, in some mysterious way, per-
hapS all unconsciously, just by his pres
ence, has taken the sting out of your
pain and given you comfortable utter
anCe."
"Yes, sir" said Bob, 81 read the other
day that the mere presence of Napo-
leon on the battlefield was recognized
by his generals to be the equivalent of
three divisions of troops"
Its another manifestation of the
same miracle of personality" said the
doctor, "but if contact with a limited
personality will produce miracles, what
must we expect if in prayer We come in
expect if in prayer We come in contact
contact with that personality of incon-
ceivable greatness and and power? He
toucheth the hills and they smoke the
Psalmist says.
If we just touch the infinite
Heavenly Father, new courage, new
hopes, new strength and powers
pour into our lives. Why, the life of
every Christian is life of unendng
miracle"
81 see it now," said Bob unhesitat-
ingly"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Caught President Grant.

DR.. James Thorington had Panama
dinner" for some Of his conferees who
shared the exciting life on the Isthmus
in the early eighties, and he told this
story of how his father, that doughty
Civil War Veteran, Colonel Thorington.
obtained the pos; of Consul at Colon.
Grant was the first President to in
stall civil service regulations govern
ing appointments in the federal office.
Colonel Thorington for once in his
life turned pale when he went to
Washington and this question faced
him on his examination papers:
"How many soldiers did England
send to the colonies during the Rev.
olutionary War;"
He gazed at the paper and the paper
gazed at him for many precious min
utes- Then in utter despair the Colonel
wrote:
"A d sight more than ever went
back"
He trudged home TO his hotel mutter-
ing to himself, "Oh, well, it's all of
now"
Some time later an orderly knocked
at his door. Colonel Thorington, the
President would like to see you sir"
He went to the White House feeling
"shaiy."
The President, smiling broadly
wrung his b nd. Colonel, you are z
man after my own heart" he CRIED
"Here are seven consulates. Which
will you have?"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

Speaking of retreats, correspondent
recalls Civil War retirement during
which the commander said to his aide
de-camp:
whats the composition of our rear
guard ?"
"Our rear guard, general" the aide
de-camp replied as he galloped along,
us composed exclusively Of the men
who have the worst horses
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Have Keen Ears For U-Boats.

Two OF the methods by which the
British are effectively lighting The German
submarine are by the use OF new micro
phone d drectors and explosive bombs oi
enormous powc-. t,cording 10 a writer in
the Tidningen, an authority on technical
information.
English experts have lately so perfected
the use OF the microphone on anti sub
marine vessels. says the writer, that they
are able 10 steer accurately and automat-
ically down on the submarine. while
formerly they were unable 10 locate a
vessel beneath the surface The micro
phones are placed below the water close
10 the keel OF the vessel, and answer the
same purpose as the microphones OF a
telephone BY listening TO the beat OF
the submarines propeller they can learn
the exact location OF the enemy and at
tack him before he has the slightest idea
OF what is happening. The detection
instruments used with The microphones
are very complex One OF them shows
the distance OF the submarine on grad
uated scale, the indicator responding
electrically 10 the sound from the sub
marines propellers The variations Of
distance are shown with marvellous ac-
curacy. Another device shows whether
the enemy is on the port or siarboard
SIDE The electric magnet hand moves
10 the side on which the sound IS loudest
and the ship is guided accordingly.
When the proper spot IS reached bombs
are dropped in the same manner as from
srpIanes Their underwater force is
so great that they can destroy a submarine
$50 feet from the point OF explosion.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

General Gorgas often visits Philadel-
phia, where his warm friends are legion.
One of these friends brought back
from Washington the story of how he
yentured TO congratulate the genial
health expert on his 'poise"
"Well, | don't know about that"
chuckled the General, as the light of
reminiscence CLEANED in his eyes. 81
remember perfectly we'll that in the
solemnest moment of my life, as | was
standing at the altar rail, the clergyman
said wilt thou have this woman to be
thy welded wife, and got so ratified
couldn't remember what was suppose !
TO say.
so said: will you please repeat
the question p"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Important Income Tax News

In a communication received by the
Register, Collector OF Internal Revenue
S. A. Hays announces that a federal in
come tax officer will be sent into this
county on January 24th and will be here
until February lst.
How many income taxpayers will
there be in Jefferson county? II you
can guess how many married persons
living with wife or husband will have
net incomes of $1,000 or over, and how
many unmarried persons will have net
incomes Of $1,000 or over, then you
know. The collector of internal rev.
enue estimates that there will be 524
taxpayers in this county
Returns of income for the year 1917
must be made on forms provided for the
purpose before March |, 1918. Because
a good many people don't understand
the law and don't know how 10 make
out their returns, the government is
sending in this expert to do it for them.
But the duty is on the taxpayer to make
himself known 10 the government. II
he doesn't make return as required be-
fore March /, he may have to pay PEN
atty ranging from so TO $1,000, pay a
fine or go to Jail. So if you don't want
to take chances on going TO Jail, you
had better call on the income tax man.
If you are not sure about being subject
to the tax, better ask him and make
sure. Whether you see the income tay
man or not, you must make return if
subject TO tax.
Of course, persons resident in other
counties may, if they want 10, come and
see the income tax man, who will be at
Shepherdstown, January oath and 18th,
and in Charles Town, January 26th 10
February lst, inclusive.
The collector suggests that everybody
start figuring up now his income and
expenses, so as to be ready with the
figures when the expert arrives. EX-
penSes, however, don't mean family ex.
penses, money used to pay of the prin-
cipal of a debt, new machinery, build
ingS, or anything like that. They mean
what you spend in making your money
interest, taxes paid, hired help,
amount paid for goods sold, seed, stock
bought for feeding, rent Except for
your dwelling), etc. Income includes
about every dollar you get.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

The sweet young thirg was being
shown through the shops Of the loco
motive works.
"Whit is that thing p she asked,
pointing with her dsinty parasci.
THAT" replied the guide. lis an en-
gine boiler"
she was an up-io-dste Young lady and
al once became interested. And why
DO they boil engines ?" she inquired
again.
ION, replied the young fellow thought
iuIIy, "to make the engine tender"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

One little 4-year-old Topeka lady was
displaying to visitor her new pocket
book, which happened to contain just
one cent. as that all you have in your
purse, just penny" inquired the Wis
itor. Eyes, that's all" replied the little
lady; 81 never carry much money"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
A New Song Of Hate.

Ny Tuesdays are meatless,
Ny Wednesdays are wheatless,
I'm getting more eatless
Each day.
My home it is heatless,
Ny bed it is sheetless-
They're all sent to the
Y. NJ, c. a.
The bar rooms are treatless,
Ny coffee is sweetless,
Each day get poorer
And wiser.
Ny stockings are feetless,
Ny trousers are seatless,
By gosh-but 1 do hate
The Kaiser.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

A gift Of 500, 600 10 the Red Cross from
John Mccormack. the tenor, has been
announced. Paying his own expenses,
Mr.. Mccormack will make patriotic
concert tour from the Atlantic 10 the Pa
cIiic. 81 will keep on singing until have
earned 500, 900. which the American Red
Cross may use as il sees it," said Mr.
Mccormack, in making his offer. "The
work will be privilege TO me and vii
perform il with an enthusiasm such as
never felt before"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

A girl who was running London bus
was making out her inst report Under
the heading Accident" she stated:
Bumped into an old gent"
Unoerthe heading" Remarks, she said;
Simply awful"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Killed by Poisons

All scientists agree that poisonous
PRODUCTS in the blood are eliminated by
he kidneys and liver. The kidneys act
rs kind of filter for these products.
If we want to increase our chances for
long life, DR.. Pierce of the Invalids'
Hotel, Buffalo, n. Y, says one should
drink plenty of water daily between
meals to flush the kidneys. Then pro-
cure at your nearest drug store Anuric
double strength). This Anuric drives
the uric acid out. Scientific men have
learned that in gout, also rheumatism,
poisonous uric acid crystals are de-
posted in or about the joints, in the
muscles-where inflammation is set up.
Anuric is many times more potent
hot water does sugar.
NEWPORT News. VGGINGA-"I suffered
DDtpld misery for five Vp1rS from general
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

Remedy for three WINTTS 7 galncd T
pounds in weight and feel 50 good that
| have not words To express my thanks.
Friends of mine also are taking DR..
Pierce's Medicines with good results
JOHN OsSEs. 23Oj Wa AiHglo1 Avenue.
lloUNDsvILLE, ". NA.-"Ior the last
two years | have been having kidney all
ment. | would suffer with such severe
pains across my back and kidneys that
could not get up when | was down. was
not able to do my work properly. took
several different kidney remedies bnt they
did not give me any relief. | had only
taken these Anuric Tablets n short time
when they had taken all the pain and
ache out Of my back and kidneys. They
are the best kidney medicine have ever
taken. ."-MRs. JASON SMITH, sl3 lSt st.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
Diplomacy.

Mrs. Auioun wanted new shoes. so
she went into shop. where an obIiging
assistant brought out selection Tor her
10 try on.
That's strange. madam" said he after
many vain attempts 10 lit her. "One OF
your feet is larger than the other"
Bnstling with rage, the lady left That
shop and sought another Here again
the assistant failed 10 find pair which
would do
"How curious, madam" he said. "one
Of your feet is smaller than the other"
And with beaming smile, Mrs. Au-
toun bought two pairs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

Dyspepsia is Americas curse. To
restore digestion, normal weight, good
health and purify the blood, use Bur-
dock Blood Bitters. Sold at all drug
stores. Price, 1.25.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

Itching, bleeding, protruding or blind
piles have yielded to Doan's Ointment.
6Oc at all stores.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
DR.. FAN r n 6 I
HAGERSTOWN, MD.
DIAGNOSTICIAN

Only chronic diseases. Send me
your name and address and will
send you a n ailing case and question
blank. Don't use dope for chronic
troubles, get cured. 1t is salts
faction to know what the cause is.
CONSULTATION FREE.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

Genilemsn--Why don't you get out
and hustle 2 Hard work never kill any
body.
Rastus-You're mistooken defe. boss.
Use lost fouh wives dat way.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10

For any pain, burn, scald or bruise,
apply DR.. Thomas Eclectic Oil-the
household remedy. Two sizes 50c
and 60c at all drug stores.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-01-10
NEWPORT News. VIEGINGA-"I suffered

= ~ - ~ = -
debility, kidney and
bladder trou BILE,
rheumatic pains all
over ny body, indi.
geStion and nasal
catarrh h. / tried
various remedies
without any good re-
suit. / was so bad
that ] could not sleep
nor eat, but after
taking DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Dis
covcry and Anuric
Tablets and using
nr. Slco'S Catarrh
New Britain herald. [microfilm reel] (New Britain, Conn.) 1890-1976, 1918-02-12
AIRMAN RAMS BALLOON
Italian Aviator Takes a Desperate
Chance to Blind Eyes of Enemy
and Dives Through Bag Of Fire.

Rome, Jan. 2O-(Corresponden
Of The Associated Press) How an
aviator feels when he drives an air
plane through a, flaming observation
balloon is described by Giovanni An
cillottO, an Italian airman, who de-
molshed an Austrian balloon in that
fashion in an air conflict at Rustigno
The balloon was guarded by three
Austrian chaser airplanes. These
were engaged by three italian fighting
machines while Ancillotto dived
straight at the balloon, at which he
opened fire with incendiary bullets at
a range of about twenty Yards At
the same moment he suddenly realized
the danger he was in, for it was clear
~ impossible for him to avoid col
lision with the now flaming balloon.
II thought to myself it means
DEATH he says in his report. II
closed my eyes and waited Barely q
second passed before I felt the shock;
there was a, sound Of tearing; flames
rushed across my face, [ opened my
eyes and found myself a few dozen
yards from the ground.
II started my engines, steadied my
machine, glanced at the wings in fear
that their support would fail me. Thew
were trembling as though broken and
were carrying some tattered pieces of
stuff. But they held; the propeller
turned, and the airplane, gradually
gaining speed, gided toward the TtaI-
| ian lines. A few minutes, later
alighted at my camp"
| Exa mination of the machine
showed that it had passed clean
| through the burning balloon. In the
! shock of collision the wings had
actually been broken in the middle,
| but were held together by the support
| of the machine gun