The Washington herald., 1918-01-08

.--N
Almost anything goes at the cabaret
show, except, of course, wooden
money.
This time e was brand-nev over
coat, the property Of Clarence Gentry.
Clarence was 30 busy giving the girk
the once over that he didn't see the
guy who attached his coat
When IL came time to leave, Ciar@
ence sought the cloak room. The
cloak room was still there. but Dqf
his coat.
However. there was a coat hanging
there. II wasn't as good as the one
Clarence owned, but nevertheless on
cold night almost anything waruh
would do.
Thinking that an exchange was ne
robbery. Clarence took this coat Ht
wore IL cutie a while. but always wa
on the lookout for his own.
Tom Jeter was also looking for 10
overcoat He saw Clarence with II on
Tom wasn't bothered as TO how Clzr
ence came 10 have the coat-he knew
IT, wss his and wanted IT,
Clarence was nabbed. Two wrone1
didn't make a right in the eyes q
the law.
But the court understood the predG
cament in which Clarence found HIM
self He was guilty Of stealing and
yet he wasn't guilty.
And to keep in the middle Of tbs
road, the court sentenced him -
serve thirty days and put him OF
probation. "a
A Bay Rummy.
Sunday afternoon. while the dexn
was being beaten into a fraEzle inside
the big tabernacle, one Of his imps
was busy on the outside.
George Riley. a soldier. was making
raid on the row Of parked auto
mobiles belonging to folks who had
gone inside.
Before starting George had bathed
his head in bay rum. He put so much
OF it on his hair that it soaked into
his brains.
As he was picking up a womsn'F
coat. a nun and a laprobe out Of oRf
, Of the cars. Policeman Conn laid a
hand on his shoulder.
Young man" said CONN. ''yct
ought to be on the inside listening vi
Billy instead OF out here listening q
the devil"
"Thash shmsy be sho.'" gurgieS
George, but couldn't-hic-have a
hic-audiensh-hic-like I hars
out here" -
There was only one thing TO DO wfth
sinner like George. II he goes 20
jail he wouldn't be able TO fight the
Hun So the court turned him over
TO the military authorities for punish-
ment.
Luke Loses Lula.
ledge. dis woman cum bus right
in NAH house en- aXed me ef her
husband was dere All nebber eben
fInowed she had one.
"Ah tole her no. he wasn't oere.
| Den she th'owed a coal hod at me.
She almos' bus nah haid open"
A couple OF weeks ago. Luke
Brown. hubby Of Lulu. picked up
and quit. Lulu hasn't been able 10
find hide nor hair of him since.
She went, on a hunt 10 see Ruth
Crimmins. thinking she was going
to catch Luke.
II was a foolish errand. because
Ruth didn't know that either Like
or his wife were in the word.
And when she refused 70 let Dssiu
in the house to search Il, a fight was
bound TO happen.
It is evident that Ruth has a BIT
ter enemy. Someone put up q mean
job on her. Whoever IL was, they
knew Just what was coming on
| when they sent Lulu around to
Ruth's house on such an errand.
And 50 Lulu is not only out q
husband, but also IS.
Bringing the War to America
Saturday night three men were ar
guing about the war. They were
Isl &C Lamb, George Melrose and Pat
NJ Eenzie.
1ney were behind a curtain in a
tailor shop. Folks out on the street
could hear every word they said
After about an hours dispute.
Moses Wilson came into the shop
to have his pants pressed.
He listened to the three men for
minute and then advised the whole
bunch to go and study Reorgraphy, :
Isaac, apparently insulted. came out
and demanded TO know what Moses
meant by butting in. Moses told him,
that what it took TO butt in he
CAIosesD had.
Pat poked his head out and or-s
dered Isaac to go 20 it" And ISaac.-
thinking he was to have the hack
ing Of his two companions. pitched
into Moses ard almost put out hiss
lights.
While Isaac's two friends looked-
on, he got the awfUllest licking he
ever had. Moses had his second
wind. and he sure did hand il to him
II Moses hadn't boasted that he
won that war" Isaac wouldn't have,
had him arrested. and IL wouIdn'ts