The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-03-11
Food for Fans
BY GEO. z. PHAIR.
tCopyrtght.)
Advice to Young Baseball scribes.

When writing story at this time of
year, be sure that the players don the
spangles.
This is lesson you must never forget.
By all means remember that the players
must don the spangles.
We never have seen a spangle lettering
about ball park a clubhouse train
recognize one if we did see one.
We never have met ball player who
become SO familiar with spangle as to
don one.
But you gotta do it anyhow. Nobody
will think you are a big league baseball
scribe unless you can make EN- don the
Presumably the leader of the Pirates in
herits his kidding propensities from Capt.
Kidd.
Tex Richard has arrived in Buenos Aires.
weights with him he would have increased
his popularity-in the U. S.
How to Become Rich.
Tho your bank account be as the empty
There is little cause for worry or despair.
| If you cut some foolish capers
And your name gets in the papers,
In the morning you will be millionaire.
| Suppose for example, you are plain J.
b b and the ren man is
| bowling at your door. Suppose you become
involved in a heartbalm suit with Her
mione De Luxe. the beautiful Hawaiian
dancer from Escanaba, or suppose you
| threaten to start a baseball league
or to stage a heavyweight hampionship
fight You awake to find that you are
Jason Themistocles Smith. the millionaire
triple magnate.
Perhaps it is for the same reason that
a forty-acre farm suddenly becomes Il ranch
when famous ball player buys it,
The scribe who tolls in baseball parks
will not be required to pay the war tax.
He must feel certain amount of satisfac-
ton in knowing that he is considered as
important factor in the national game
is the popcorn of the hot-dog merchant.
Proverbs.
We have lust finished reading treaties
on proverbs. 1t is an interesting subject
if you nothing else to read and you
} are easily interested.
/ 4 proyerb is a dose of concentrated ad-
vice. concocted by some one who has been
stung.
verbs but in those days the proletariat
labored under the impression that a king
could do no wrong, SO Sol was able to get
When one contemplates solomon's pro-
verbs one can Understand m stan why ne had SO
patient, never could endure a thousand
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the
bush.'' is of our most widely circulated
But what good is bird in the hand?
You wouldn't be seen riding homeward in
a crowded car with bird in your mitt
The neighbors would think you had been
aviary in Lincoln Park. Or the game war
den might throw you into the bastile, or,
if you had it wrapped up, the janitor might
bawl you out for carrying a bundle in the
front way. Or take, for instance. the case
/ of a buZzard. You wouldn't take one of
those birds in your hand unless you wore a
suit of armor and a gas mask
The above is merely instance of the
faIlacy of the proverbs There are many,
many others like it. Yet. people always
accept a pro-erb at its face value without
the slightest thought of investigating its
history its family connections or its stand
ing in Bradstreet's.
You don't have to BRING evidence that a
nothing but the truth You simply admit
it.
for profound thought by memorizing an
almanac