Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-06-10
SATAN ON THE PHONE
TALKS TO KAISER BILL.
Annapolis Boy Appreciates The
Capital Like A Letter From
Home.

An Annapolis boy writes The Capt.
tai as follows:
Editor of The Capital:
Dear Sir was looking over the
bulletin board on our good ship. the
L. 5. :. Maggie, and if it is not ask
ing too much would you put it in your
paper for my manv friends 10 read.
II all the young men OF Annapolis
felt like l do they would enlist now.
] wouldn't want TO be out of the navy
for 1--WE minutes now. Its great being
in the branch of service you like.
I enjoy reading The Capital very
much II is better than getting some
letters from home, because it has more
in it.
In the future ii I run across any
thing that viii interest your paper or
readers ] Will gladly send it home
J win close now, thanking you in
advance for the favor / am asking.
HERBERT j. FRANKLIN.
Bugler, L. $. S Maggie.
June S,h. 1918.
THE KAISER TALKS TO HE'LL.
The Kaiser called the devil up
On the telephone one day,
The girl at central listened To
All they had TO say.
Hello she heard the Kaiser say,
is old man Satan home?
Just tell it is Kaiser Bill
That wants him on the phone"
The devil said Hello to Bill
And Bill said, How are you?
/ am running here on earth a hell,
Now tell me what to do
What can ! do?" the devil said,
My dear old Kaiser Bill,
If there is anything / can do
TO help you sure l will
The Kaiser said, Now listen
And l will try to tell
The way ! am on earth running
A modern hell
/ saved for this for many years
And I've started out to KILL
That it would be a modern job
Just leave il to Kaiser Bill.
My army went through Belgium
Shooting women and children down,
And blew up every town.
My Zepps dropped bombs on cities,
Killing both old and young
And those the Zepplines didn't get
Were taken out and hung
l started out for Paris,
With the aid of poisonous gas,
The Belians, darn EN-, stopped me
And wOuldn't Let me mass
| My submarines are devils,
Why, you should see them fight,
They are sneaking through the sea
And will sink a ship on sight.
| was running things to suit me
Till year or so ago
When a man named Woodrow Wilson
Told me to so more slow.
He said to me, dear William,
! don't want to make you sore
SO be sure to tell your U-boats
To sink our ships no more
We have told you for the last time
So, dear Bill, it's up to you,
And if you do not stop it
You'll have to fight us, too
did not listen to him
And he's coming after me
With a million Yankee soldiers
From their homes across the sea.
Now, that's why l called you, Satan,
For | want advice from you,
/ know that you will help me
Just what l ought to do?'
My dear old Kaiser Bill
There's not much to tell,
For the Yanks viii make it hotter
Than ] can for you in hell.
I've been a mean old devil,
But not half as mean as you,
And the minute that you get here
l will give my job to you.
I'll be ready for your coming
And I'll have the fires all bright
And Ill have your room all ready
When the Yanks begin to fight.
For the boys in blue will get you;
I've nothing more to tell.
Hang up the phone and get your hat
And meet me here in hell.
o K-ed by c. & P. Telephone Co..
NUT, Manager.