The Holbrook news., 1918-12-06
SOphOcIes Investigates The
 Oil Field

1TOIn the 11OlOrOOK D1SIf1cC, aQ( as me an Mike, my partner, haC l just come in from a trip where we cleaned up a little of the root of all evil, 1 decided to take my little sack O dust and come ovel l to see first hand what had start
 ed all this talk which my part ner Mike said was ''lot O bull. In my time I've herded Hol- steins, smoked Bull Durham and spent some stretch of me natura. life in that grand and glorious college of ''bull'', bounded on the north by Oregon and on the west by the Pacific Ocean, talk ing the Freshman course in San Francisco, Oakland and Stock ton, the sophomore year in Mer- ced, Del Monte and Watsonville, jumpin' swift like into the jun for class at Santa Barbara and then into the gradooatin' class at Los Angeles, after which, concludin' I'd learned a lot, took postgraduate course in all Los Angeles County. Travel from the effete east bein' light we in Los Angeles had dull bus mess and if you ever lived a spell in that burg 'tis not too much for your understandin' to realize that dependin' on the av- craze Angeleno for a Twin was poor pickin', so I packed me sheepskin in moth balls and started in to do regular work. This much of me interestin' his tory I'm tellin' so that when I say can spot line of ''bull' be- fore a guy opens his mouth yell listen keen like to any asserva- tions I elucidate an refrain from takin' my learned discussion with disimpunity.
 Mike, not bein' highly eddicat- ed like myself, maby it was nat ural that he called the Holbrook rumble 'Sbull," but havin' taken me own degree of B. D., altho retirin' from practice, reproved Mike disgusted like, tellin' him he couldn't no wise tell the diff ference between Bill Bryan and Hen Ford and that l, bein' gifted with brains didn't .haf to have no oXymeter to get an earfull of solid sense outa the claims of the Holbroohtes-and so I'm here gracin' yure little city with my benign presence (whatever that means) and comin' incog in due consideration of Herb Hoover's displeasure at unnec- essary banquets.
 First off I bumps into a pros porous lookin' gent who sez Holbrook claims and I sez, sezzi, casual like, Hear yu got an oil field hereabouts ?' Fletcher life," sezze, Whats more, it's goin' to be the gum doozlest, bigges, ringtailedest, heaviest producin' field in this here land of the free" Eggin' him along I sez, "Frum yure enthusiastic chortle you must believe pretty much in what yu say" Thinkin' my remark was an underhand dig, which it wasn't, he comes back an 'sez, Why wouldn't anybody be lit up with enthus- didn't we have Dorsey Ha- ger out here from Oklahoma and didn't he make a report that simply melted the glue offen the hunderd dollar bills we'd been savin' for a rainy day? Didn't Dorsey tell us, in effect, we had the biggest chance of lifetime right here at Holbrook, leastwise that it was a chance deservin' the spendin' of our hard earned money on? And ain't Dorsey a big ace in the deck when it comes to concludin' the habitat of an oil field?. And that ain't all" sezze. Didn't Chas. Edwin Major get all tuckered out and mighty nigh a hermit coverin' all the ifs and ands of the Hol- brook structure and didn't he make a report that immediate started hisSpeople gettin' right awful busy? Betcha he did. Then didn't Eaton, Johnson, Puffenburg, Baird and a lot O others say, Get busy boys, you got a awful good chance. Betcha they did, so why wouldn't l be lieve what I told you? ?"
 Bein', as I said before, man of some knowledge, I conclude limmejiate that Hager, Major Johnson, Eaton, Puffenburg and l Baird come mighty nigh makin
 a straight flush when it comes to maxim a winnin' hand and resolves to back their play pro vidin' can find a good safe way to get my money on the table Still, thinks I, a little more in. vestigatin' won't hurt none whatever, so I tackles another guy cuttin' his initials on the postoffice door. ''What about this here oil field" sezzi
 'Nothin' to it, nothin' a tall, lot
 ta bull," sezze. I looked hin