French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1916-1919, 1918-02-14
SATAN WRITES TO KAISER;
OFFERS HIM NEITHER THRONE
delta, COL, independently

mighty God.
Ny Dear Wilhelm:
I can call you by that familiar
name, for l have always been very
| close to you, much closer than you
| could know.
From the time that you were yet
an undeveloped being / have shaped
your destiny for my W purpose.
In the~days Of Rome I created a
roughneck known in history as Nero.
He was a vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time.
In these modern days a classic emo
and efficient supernatural was
needed, and as 1 know the Hohenzol-
Tern blood l picked you as my special
instrument to place or earth an an
mex to hell. I gave you abnormal am
bition, likewise an ~over-supply OF
egotism that you might not discover
your own failings. l twisted your
mind to that of a mailman with GER
tain normal tendencies to carry you
BY, a most dangerous character plac-
e1 in power I gave you the power OF
a hypnotist and a certain magnetic
force that you might sway your peo-
pie. l am RESPONSIBLE for the defOrm-
ed arm that hangs helpless on your
left, for your crippled condition m
bitters your life and destroys all no
BILE impulses that might otherwise
| cause me anxiety, but your strong
sword arm is driven by your ambitions
that squeIch all sentiment and pity.
ICED in your soul a deep hatred of
all things English, for of all nations
on earth l hate England most; where
| ever England plants her flag she
brings order out of chaos and the
hated Cross follows the Union Jack;
under her rule wild tribes become til
Iers of the soil and in due time prac-
teal citizens; she is the great civiliZ-
er of the globe, and l hate her. 1
planted in yOur soul a cruel hatred Of
your mother because she was English,
and left my good friend Bismarck to
fan the flame l had kindled. Recent
history proves now how we'll our work
was done. It broke your royal moth
er's heart, but 1 gained my purpose.
The inherited disease of the Hohen-
zollerns killed your father, just as it
will kill you, and you became the ruler
of Germany and a tool of mine sooner
than l expected.
To assist you and further hasten
my work l sent you three evil spirits,
Nietzsche, Tdeitschke, and later Bern
hardi, whose teachings intiamed the
youths of Germany, who in good time
would be willing to spill their blood
and pull your chestnuts, yours and
mine. The spell has been perfect.
You cast your ambitious eyes toward
the Mediterranean, Egypt, India and
the Dardanelles, and you began you
great railway to Bagdad, but the am
bilious archduke and his more ambi-
ious wife stood in your way. 1t was
that 1 sowed the seed in your
heart that blossomed into the assassf-
nation of the duke and his wife, and
all hell smiled when it saw how clev-
erlv you saddled the crime onto Ser
bia. I saw you set sail for the fjOrds
of Norway, and l knew you would
prove an alibi. How cleverly done;
much like your noble grandfather,
also secured an assassin to re-
old King Fredeick of Denmark,
and later robbed that country of two
provinces that gave Germany an OPP
Dortunity to become a naval power.
is dirty work, but it takes a
HOhenzollern to make a way and get
Oy with it.
Your opportunity was at hand; you
the world on fire and the bells of
hell were ringing; your attack on
Belgium caused much joy; it was the
beginning, the foundation of a perfect
lell on earth; the destruction of noble
,athedrals and other infinite works of
Lrt was hailed with joy in the Internal
You made war on friend and
oe alike, and the murder of civilians
my teachings had borne fruit. ,
treachery towards neutrals has :
ened a universal upheavel, the thing i
most desired. Your undersea war ,
are is a master stroke from the
mallest mackered boat to the Lusi- +
ania. You show no favorites; as a
var lord you stand supreme; for you
no mercy; you nave no consider
tion for the baby clinging to it's
nother's breast as they both go down
nto the deep together, only to be torn
part and leisurely devOured by the
hanks down among the cOrals. !:
| have strolled over the battletelds
f Belgium and France. l have seen .
our hand of destruction everywhere;
is all your work., super-fiend that l
lade you. l nave seen the fields of
'oland, now a wilderness fit for the
rowling beasts only; no merry chill
rem in Poland now; they all sub
umb to frost and starvation. l drift
d down into Galicia, where formerly
ews and Gentiles lived happily to-
l found but ruins and ashes.
felt a curious pride in my pupil, for
was above my expectation. l was
4 Belgium when you drove the peace
III population before you like cattle
ito slavery; you separated man and
fife and forced them to hard labor in
trenches I have seen the most
endish attacks committed or young
omen, and those forced into mater
ity were cursing the father of their
and l began to doubt if my
lferno was really up to date.
You have taken millions of dollars
ON innocent victims and called it
ldemnity; you nave lived fat on the Z