The Raymer enterprise., 1918-03-28
Mr.. sIMPuNs PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
D. RosERr mesLAIR.

sS4Ass ~ Woo YVAa2At Va his Aoeu~A'
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor dLsing the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Eimpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First, he
reverenced and adored the memory Of
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
60 to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
Ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
in imagination, the khaki-clad lads of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles Of sea to
fight, maybe die for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages Of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for a salute.
But his gouty shoulder twinged. and he
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
Damn y said Mr.. Simpkins, and
with his other hand hercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and llmped into the H.
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000. and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject of taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income q man has
the greater the percentage Of 1t he
pays In taxes. He could think Of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar.
ried and had two children, and yet.
although their incomes were nearly
half Of his, they would pay only q
small fraction Of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the Information
that 1t asked for.
As Mr.. Simpkins income was SIS 900
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes of incomes In order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the nrst class who must
pay taxes, that 10, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First. they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1915 law) on all income over
$4,000, deducting $500 for each Of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
SimpkIns' case this was $2l2, which he
put down In the payable" column.
He saw next that. under the 1917
law. married men pay an additional 2
per cent. on all over t2,000-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $252 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump In his income over 5000
he had to pay a Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. Thil
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top of all this came an "Ex'
cess Profits" tax Of s per cent on all
Occupation" income over 5000. max
Ing $720 more.
The total, then, he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whewl" exclaimed Mr.. Simpkina
angrily. There's young Henry VII.
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay q
cent Of taxes. I guess this is his wal
as well as miner"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins
Ne remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages FOL
tle Red Cross and that Henry, who
WIS lawyer, was aiding the Local
Drsft Board with Its questionnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself
.tha makes a difference.
He, thought next Of Judge Willough
by. W nose income was about 5000
"He, only pays So" commented Mr.
S,mpk.sns, not quite so angrily thii
time ssnd then a thought struck hin
and he sat up rigidly In his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had beer
drowned on the Tuscania when It wal
submaran6d with the loss Of two hun
dred soldiers.
Judge wilfoughby gave his son t.
America" muttered Mr. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and pu
his face In his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Slmpkins sa
very still In that position. There wal
no sound in the library except thu
ticking Of the tall clock and an occa
sIonal trill Of laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The squar'
of light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, ant
first twilight and then darkness settlet
N about the quiet, white haired, some
times rirascible old man.
afr. Simpkins was thinking thing
which he would never afterward speal
Of, We was thinking things that wer
too .mcred ever to be put into words
But some inkIing Of his thoughts ma
be found In his rejoinder to Mr.
SImpkins when that placid lady cam
in and turned on the lights. and aske
him whether he was ready for dinneI
Judge Willoughby's only son va
4 worth as rulch az fourteen hundre
and th,rty-fuur dollars, wasn't hef