The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-06-15

PUMPKIN CENTER GOSSIP.
Reported Every 20 Often by
Mr.. G. Whilikjns.

W.T. VI VVtbNsV9s
Prof. Skint has been invited to
deliver the Fourth of July speech
at Squashville for the third straight
year in succession. The Professor
was feeling kind Of stuck up about
It until Jake Skidder said the rea-
son they invited him to come again
was because the Squashville citi-
Gems 'aint found out yet what he
was trying to talk about the first
two times.
Ezra Spudkins is going to join
the army so he can write book.
Bill Perkins, who used to be the
town good-for-nothing." came back
this week all dressed up like a
house afire and wearing one of
them Mexican diamonds. Bill
looked like million dollars. He
told the boys he had job with
Flingling Brothers circus as a lion
tanner and was making $75 week.
Ed Ruben said he didn't know
about Bill being a lion tanner, but
he sure was lynn fool.
After trying to buy a steak at
Lem Spivins' butcher shop yester-
day, Nick Higgins said he guessed
the cow must be jumping over the
moon again.
If it gets much hotter mebbe the
Pumpkin Center girls will put on
their furs.
Squire Tibbetts was up to Indian
apolis this week, and when he
come back he said he liked paved
streets they got up there better
than the dusty kind we got here.
For one thing, the squire says, they
taste better on windy day.
Jabez Smithers has dug well
on his farm and is going into the
dairy and milk business.
Lawyer Skinem has sold his fliv-
yer and bought an automobile.
Ezra Boggs has got pretty well
acquainted with his wife and kids
since the state went dry.
Eb Hicks says the war has
changed the meaning of jitney into
two bits.
Sam Valentine has hung sign
out in front of his secondhand
shop which says, Don't go some
place else to get skinned out OF
your money-come in here" Sam
believes in telling the truth when
he advertises.
Jabez Slocum has started war
garden. II it turns out like every
thing else Jabez ever started, Mrs.
Slocum will probably do the finish
ing.
Eb Hutchins, who has been up to
indianapolis for the last month,
came back the other day and tried
to make some of the boys believe
he was working in tonsorial par
lor I'D there. Lem Watkins said he
wasn't doing no such thing because
he was up there one day and saw
Eb working in barber shop.
Deacon Cobcorn has just got
back from the West, and he was
telling the boys over at Squire Tib-
bets grocery store how the big
fish in the rivers out there eat the
little sardines. LATE Smith said
mebbe the deacon was telling the
truth alright, but he didn't see how
they got them out of those little
tin boxes.
Hi Squash is eating his meals
of the mantle piece for a spell.
Mrs. Hi Squash entertained the
Lady's Sewing circle and Hi sat
down on a pin cushion somebody
left in a chair.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lem Sprockets
went up to Chicago to hear Billy
Sunday talk in the tabernacle, after
which they went to Battle Creek,
Mich, for a weeks recuperation.
Ebenezer Stubbins got hurt Tues
day when he was kicked in the
barn by horse.
Ed BARROW says his bill from the
electric light company reminds
him of a famous poem-"The
Charge of the Light Brigade"
Lemuel Perkins was never out
side of Pumpkin county until he
was drafted, and the boys write
home from Camp Taylor and say
that Lem has been going around
every day wanting to know when
the fighting was going to begin.
Lem must think Camp Taylor Is
somewhere in France.