Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-01-25
Bits Of By-Play
BY LUKE McLUKE.
Copyright 1916, the Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.

BY LUKE McLUKE.
Copyright 1916, the Cincinnati
iii Enquirer.
Good Dope.
MY son just bear these words IN
mind,
Be good to those in pain and need:
An ounce of kindness, you will find,
Is worth a dozen tons of creed.
The Wise Fool.
Give a man a little liberty, and he
will abuse it," observed the Sage.
YES" agreed the Fool. Just be-
cause there is no law against wearing
whiskers lot of men go ahead and
let them grow"
How About It?
A Government expert assures us
that this country's coal supply will
last for at least 5000 years. Well,
if he will give us our share right
now, we will take a chance on freez-
ing for the next 4,900 years.
Take.
What shall I name my play?" asked
Mack.
"Ill tell you what" said Blake.
Name it the The Kleptomaniac.
You know that ought to take"
Huh!
There's no such word as fair" said
the Optimist.
rs that so." sneered the Pessimist.
Did you ever try to open window
in a railroad passenger coach?"
The Same Old Firm.
The Kaiser has had an inscription
k,.o II n1or r;rlr
liam at Breslau. The Kaiser wrote
the inscription himself, and 1t is as
follows:
"God's and Our Firm Will Bring
Victory to Our Just Cause"
A Cinch Bet.
She's homely. ana she's on the shelf,
Is poor Miss Mary Ann;
But you can bet she makes herself
AS pretty as she can.
Yes, SIR" braseed the Lite Man
on the rear platform of the car. Il
have been married five years and have
lived in the same fiat ever. since we
were married, and I have never had
an argument with my wife,"
THAT so?" asked the Big Man.
How do you manage it?'
Man. You see, our fiat Is So small
that there is no room for an argu-
ment.'
"SpurlOs Versenkt."
Spurlos versenkt the Kaiser and spur
los versenkt the Huns.
Spurlos versenkt his army and spurlos
versenkt his guns;
But we can't spurlos versenkt him
f< IIotI
For, though he burns for ages, he will
always leave a smell.
Gosh!
We don't know how he got into it,.
But we do know that A. Mess is en-
ployed by the Lyons-Atlas Company
at Indianapolis, Ind. ..'-,
Prosit!
Maybe playing on dog house"
makes one dry. Anyway, Fred Boss
and William Stein are basses in the
Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra. - !.
Something Should Be Done About
This.
According to the Encyclopedia Brit
tanica Vol. 4, Page 366, "Brachiopods
| have at various times been placed
with the Molusca, the Chaetopoda.
the Chaetognatha, the Phoronidea,
the Polyzoa, the Hemichordata and
| the Urochordata."
Any Other Nominations? @HI
| Rev. G. r. Riety, rector of the
| Christian Church at Scottsburg, Ind,
has been nominated for Chaplain OF
| the Club. ~
Firms Tc Firms
Little & Long have department
store at Charlotte, N. c. e-'.
| Foocyi Foocyi 49,
| We know it is hard to keep the
blame things out of a hotel. But why
advertise the fact that you have
them? All of which being prelimi-
nary to the announcement that che
Roach Tavern is located at Norfolk
Va.
| Names Is Names. .
| F. ]. Sisterhen lives at Canton
Ohio.
Our Daily Special.
Women and monographs Never
Suffer in Silence.
Luke McLuke Says.
One way TO keep from beng a pest
is to keep busy. when a man has time
to waste he usually annoys others who
haven't.
When they are courting she strikes
his fancy. But when they are marrlej
sne s.tIheS u.In anywhere tnaJ conies
handy.
A woman is more thoughtful than !
man. If she has O dime or two lefI
over after doing. her own shopping she
VIII stop in at the lucent store anC
buy her husband Navajo Snake
Dance necktie.
This is queer old world in which
some men earn q living without get
ting it and others get living withou
earning it.
A husband and the fire in the fur
mace are in the same fix. The bos,
of the house can keep them bOtl