The Chesterfield advertiser. [volume] (Chesterfield C.H., S.C.) 1884-1978, 1918-03-28
MR. SIMPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
By ROBERT MeBLAIR.

nSoGNt NNSoSSbUs
Mr.. Simpkins gazed at the portrait
on the wall till his eyes filled with
tears. It was q portrait OF his father,
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor during tho
Civil War and had died bravely on the
neld OF action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First. hs
reverenced and adored the memory OF
his father; secondly. his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
70 70 war himself. And N he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
Ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw.
IN imagina ton, the khaki clad lads Of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles Of sea to
fight, maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages Of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him. then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for q salute.
But his gouty shoulder twinged, and he
sroaned. He couldn't even salute.
Damn" said Mr.. Simpkins. and
| with his other hand fercely twirled his
white mustachios.
! He turned and limped into the II
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment. blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con OH his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to Just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject Of taxes ever since he had dlscov-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage Of 1t he
pays in taxes. He could think of sew
eral meA. who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half Of his. they would pay only q
small fraction Of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the information
that 1t asked for.
AS Mr.. Simpkins income was $15. 900
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes Of incomes In order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the nrst class who must
pay taxes. that 10. single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First. they pay per cent. (under
the 1915 law) on all income over
$4,000. deductinE $500 for each Of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpkins' case this was $212. which he
put down In the payable" column.
He saw next that. under the 1917
law. ma rried men pay an additional
per cent. on all over $2.OO0-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $3.50 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$2.5OO jump in his income over $4,000
he had to pay a Surta1. the percenta q
growing larger with each Jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden
And on top Of all this came an .Ex
) cess Profits" tax Of 8 per cent. on ali
"Occupa ton" income over $4,000. max
ing $720 more.
; The total. then, he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whew" exclaimed Mr.. Simpkin.
angrily. There's young Henry vii
kins. who married Jake Johnson's girl
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay q
cent. Of taxes. guess this IL his wal
as we'll as miner
. Thinking Of young Henry wilkins
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins wen,
every afternoon to make bandages fol
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was a lawyer. was aiding the Loca
Draft Board with its questionnaires.
"Well." he admitted to himself
"rhat makes q difference"
He thought next Of Judge Willough
! by. whose income was about $1,000.
"He only pays S2O." commented Mr.
Simpkins. not quite 20 angriIy thil
time; and then a thought struck hin
and he sat mp rigidly In his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had beer
drowned on the Tuscania when It wa,
summarized with the loss Of two hun
dred soldiers.
Judge Willoughby gave his son tc
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and pu,
his face In his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Simpkins an,
very still In that position. There wa,
no sound In the library except the
ticking Of the tall clock and an occa
sional trill Of laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
Of light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and
first twilight and then darkness settled
in about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascibls old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking thins,
which he would never afterward spess
Of. he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into word.
But some inkling Of his thoughts NAV
be found In his rejoinder to Mrs
Simpkins when that placid lady came
In and turned on the lights. and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner.
Judge WillOughby's only son was
worth as much as fourteen hundred
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't hsr'
Mr.. simpkins demanded Of her.
| As his wife. who was NOT uaus>A "a