The Washington herald., 1918-03-27

oePPOAt VI Ms pOOA OAo AhObhCAs
And the burden rests very light
doesn't realize what his response
bility is.
The other day he set out delib-
erately to get drunk.
1t was no sudden temptation-he
wanted to get drunk and searched
and finally found the booze.
He forgot all about his mother
until he was locked up.
Then he squealed--he wanted the
court to think as he should have
thought before he drank.
You had a mother and the res
possibility of supporting her before
you went out and hunted up this
liquor" the court reminded Albert
And now, you want me to have
mercy on you when you had none
for your mother" continued the
court.
you are a fine specimen. Here
you area big able bodied man,
with some one dependent on you
getting drunk"
Pay a fine of s25." said the court
with evident disgust. "or go to Jail
for thirty days"
Jes' . LIP Strafer.
"Ah neber used a cuss word in all
nah life. Jedge." said Ella Lang
ley, charged with cussing the police
department.
You must have been on your head
them" said the court. "else why
would you say what these officers
say you said?"
"Ah'm always outen nah haid
Jedge. said Ella, "'cept wen All
am asleep. All was bawn dat way
Ella had used some language
that would make any longshoreman
turn green with envy,
She had no particular reason to
say these things-unless she was
mad because two cops chose to look
rather hard at her.
She was standing on the corner
Monday evening waiting for some
one, she said, when the cops ask
ed her some embarrassing ques-
tions.
She imagined that they wanted
her for something and right away
she got scared and told the cops
what she thought of the whole or
ganization.
She is out ten spot now.
Hire n Good Lawyer.
Hurrah! the poor downtrodden hus-
band has another inning.
If 1t wasn't for James A. O'Shea
lots of these poor fellows would be in
jail.
James sees to it that no henpecked
husband goes to jail because his wife
wants to get rid of him.
Minnie Tillman. wife of Albert Till
man. recently discharged from Camp
Meade, had her husband locked UP.
From what Minnie said in court, AL
bert was no-account loafer. a would
be murderer and a general nuisance.
All. but when O'Shea put Albert on
the stand and allowed him to tell his
side Of the case Minnie's story looked
like Browning machine gun had been
turned on it,
His wife ran the streets. Albert said
she stayed out until the milk man
came and she had him worried to
death for fear their two children were
not being treated right.
And SO there was nothing for the
court to do but to, turn Albert loose.
He wasn't guilty.
The Fall Of Man.
The cabaret show
They must slip a fellow some awful
stuff. judging by the way it affects
them.
The other night Lester Johnson fell
into one of these places-and then fell
out again-soused to the gills.
He groped his way up Florida ave-
nue. and stopped in front of a lamp
60.
liceman Smith.
Lester-but he determined to whip the
bunch all by his lonesome and not
call for help.
He swung at the nearest one, in
tending to hit him in the snoot.
He hit something alright-but il
! wasn't an elephant-it was a real live
man.
Before he knew what happened Les
ter was sprawled all over the side
walk. The man had hit back and
gone about his business.
smith came up. picked Lester up and
hauled him to the box.
dis is de fust sin All eber commit
ted, Jedge," Lester said.
'You surely made a good job of it."
answered the court
Twenty-Five dollar fine-he amt got
a cent.
Poor Little Lizzie!
Early yesterday morning Police
man Roane noticed an auto of no
torious make cavorting about on
Pennsylvania avenue like it had
something the matter with it.
He walked up to the machine
at Sixth street, looked at it hard
and brought 1T to a halt.
Out stepped Oscar Oakes-or
rather we should say-out stagger-
ed Oscar
"Whaddye mean by abusin' your
flivver that way" asked Roane,
Amt abusin' it tall" gurgIed
Oscar. "Somethin' tn malta, Got
bug in her carburetor."
Looks more like a short cir
cult in the sandbox," replied Roane.
1 think you had better come with
me-"
Oscar was formerly charged with
running his Lizzie while picked.
The beef trust, for whom Oscar
worked, came to the rescue and in
formed the court that Oscar was
Of good character.
While the court of course cast no