Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1918-09-19
HANS SCHMIDT.
By St. John Byer.

Hans Seminar WAS NSly OSl lioi' wan
the virtues, the eXcesses and defects OF
that race. Industrious, inofensive, by
the steady application of a slow, heavy
mind he had attained superiority OF
skilled workmanship in his speciality,
which was to give the finishing touch in
tone and temperament to the piano be-
fore il left the factory for the ware
room. His one excess was beer, yet II
made him more mellow and mild-man-
nered; he never became boiSterous or
belligerent as the whiskey-fired Hibern-
ian. Strange, that nation Of such pa
tient, peace-loving people, by drill and
discipline could be transformed into an
army Of brutal barbarians, an example
of atavism, incomprehensible TO the
student of national characteristics. Un-
der the mild, liberal American govern
ment, they oeoSme prosperous, and so
abiding that even police supervi-
sion is unnecessary, thus militarism is
reduced TO a minimum, while under an
autocrat they are moulded into con-
scienceless machine, whereby their own
freedom of thought and liberty are sac
rificed, in order that by brute force they
may attain domination over their inno-
cent neighbors. Such is the eternal
contrast between liberty and despotism.
Schmidt had the respect of his en-
ployers, so when a newly arrived vir-
tuoso of the piano, haling from his ma
tive city, was touring this country and
was to give preliminary recital at the
ware-room to a few invited guests, he
was asked to be present, as the mana
ger presumed he would have some pride
and interest in the success OF his TEL
iow-townsman. So Hans must spruce
up for the occasion-must bring torth
the old black suit, which as an heirloom
is handed down from generation to gen.
GRAFTON, maugre the change OF style, or
misfit, the few inches of shortness IN
pants below would be balanced by the
height of the stovepipe hat that seemed
TO grow with the centuries. II the three
cardinal marks of respect, ability, the
plug hat, the pair of spectacles, and the
portly bay window, Hans could boast OF
only the two aforementioned, for in spite
of beer. he was lank and swarthy, he
might be described as brawny, scrawny
and tawny. Yet his solemn black coat
and serious face inspired awe and re-
spect for the antique, and forbade mirth.
He was given a seat in full view Of the
performer, who came duly to astonish
the audience, and as they came in the
mood to be astonished, the applause was
liberal and assuring. The manager no
ticed that Schmidt had been aroused TO
high point of animation, his keen eyes
seemed to shoot out sparkles Of appro-
baton, so in an interval while the per-
former was receiving congratulations,
he went up to Schmidt and proposed to
bring him up and introduce him as a
fellow -townsman, being unaware that
in Germany caste is as cast-iron as in
India and the high artist would not rec
ognize a rude mechanical. To his pro-
posal Hans bristled up and spoke with
keen emphasis:
"Vat! dat schamp, Wy dat's de tam
schaundrel vat schvindelt mir"
So it appeared that Hans knew the
gentleman, not kindly but too well, for
the great artist had formerly run up
large bill with him for piano work
which had not been paid and yet worse.
had been refused not with regret but
with careless effrontery. II seems that
artists may be high in aesthetics but
very low in ethics, and such moral
obliquity is not infrequent, even in Ger
many; they are profound people and
they reach the limit in every direction,
in the depths of brazen rascality, or
swinish bestiality, or ferocious brutali-
ty. Hans would have known the gen.
tleman had he been wearing his proper
cognomen, but judging that name
sounding alike Yawcup Schnotzfoosle,
would not suit American taste, he was
now sailing under the more sonorous
title Of Carolus Flavian. AT times such
changes are for euphony, sometimes for
the purpose of binding pursuant cred
itors. So the animation on Schmidt's
face was not inspired by the music OF
List or Chopin, but by indignation
against the "schamp vat schvindeIt"
him.
Hans had married an Irish woman-a
peculiar avenue Of revenge by which the
Hibernian manages to get ahead Of his
Saxon or Teuton oppressor. She had
very decided opinions about his Satur-
day night beer-soak, which she ex-
pounded to and upon her recreant hus-
band in forcible manner, on the idea
that man saturated with beer was
alike a rug permeated with dust, and
needed beating out by main force. Yet
in spite Of the castigation, he would re-
turn TO his beer and pot companions as
the last remaining JOY OF his life, and he
gave himself up so entirely to Il tha
he became limp and soggy, so that his
companions were obliged to steer him
home. Late one Saturday night, as he
sat happy at his orgy they reminded him
that it was time to start. His broad
smile of joy at once heightened into Sc
riousness, as ne bethought him Of what
was in store for him and he said bitter
ly:
"Achl watts de use? no 20 home.
Dat Polly nein veib che heat da hr;,,