The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1918-02-07
deluded. depraved depleted, depressed,
,listended and diabolical dyspepttcs.

..sThe movement to abolish half Of
the textbooks now in use and suDsti-
tute '.Kidd's Elocution" is gaining
ground. 1t ought not to require much
effort to accomplish the change when
all the evidence strongly supports IT.
Some OF the books now in use are as
soft and shallow as Saratoga's smart
set.
.."Tbe Kentucky legislature has
voted in favor Of the prohibition
amendment and Henry Watterson has
declared against it. Impulsive actions
are seldom retarded by the coplous
now of Henry's or anyone's animated
adjectives. The flood OF public opin-
ion cannot be subdued by the flowers
OF rhetoric.
.4.A greater variety Of weather may
visit New England than ever comes to
west Virginia, yet we doubt it. Let
Mark Twain describe the varieties
that appear there and then we can per
haps decide which region presents the
greater number Of changes: There
is a sumptuous variety about the New
England weather that comnels the
strangers admiration = and regret.
The weather is always doing some
thing there: always attending strict
~ to business; always getting up new
designs and trying them on the people
TO see how they will go. But It gets
through more business IN spring than
in any other season. In the spring
have counted one hundred and thirty
six different kinds OF weather inside OF
four.and-twenty hours. 1t was l that
made the fame and fortune OF that
man that had that marvellous coIlec-
tion~of weather on exhibition at the
Centennial. That so astounded the
foreisners. He was going to travel all
over the world and get specimens
from all the climes. said, Don't you
do it: come 70 New England on IA
vorable spring day He came and
made his collection in four days. AS
TO variety, he confessed that he got
hundreds of kinds OF weather that he
had never heard of before. And as TO
Quantity-Tell, after he had picked
out and discarded ali that was blem-
ished in any way, he not only had
weather enough, but weather to spare;
weather to hire out; weather to sell;
weather to give to the poor. The peo-
pie of New England are by nature pa
tieut and forbearing but there are
some things which they will not stand
Every year they kill a lot of poets
generally casual visitors who write
about Beautiful Spring. One OF the
brightest gems in the New England
weather is the dazzling uncertainty OF
It. There is only one thing certain
about it; you are certain there is go
ing TO be plenty of it-a perfect grand
review. You take up the paper and
observe how crisply and confidently
Old Probabilities checks of what to-
days weather IS going to be on the
Pacific, down South. in the Middle
States. in the Wisconsin region. See
him sail along in the JOY and pride OF
his power till he gets to New England,
and then see his tail drop. Well, he
mulls over it. and by-and.by he gets
out something like this: Probably
northeast TO southwest winds varying
10 the southwark and westward and
eastward, and points between high
and low barometer swapping around
from place to place; probable areas OF
rain. snow, hail and drought succeed
ed or preceded by earthquake"
S. c. MUSGRAVE.