davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
The Jarr Fa! miIy 40, :: n.e.nn....

In the grill room of the Hotel st
! Crocsus, Mr.. JarF and Prof. Ponsonbl
! Pomfret had escaped from the audit
ing OF the accounts of the Ladies
! Liberty Loan Drive in the Cerise Room
\ OF the gilded hosiery.
| This way is the way / like best, "
said Mr.. Jarr. while the ladies' are
| getting their accounts mixed up in
the Cerise Room you and are on the
Blessed isles of Somewhere, SO to
speak, where no skirt can pursue"
1T is my favorite way of aiding the
| ladies' answered the professor. Get
ting in amiably and getting out quick
~. It's also the way / like TO attend
lodge banquets and other deadly male
affairs of the kind. ! get good din
ner before ] go to q banquet and al
ways leave before the speech making
begins Hence l enjoy them greatly
But In this case" here the profess
sor sighed, Il must go on the firing
lne and answer 'Here!' for duty calls.
It's performance which / detest as
only mar detests the thing he is
paid to do.
But you stay here JACK, he added
mslodrsmatically, and take care OF
the old folks and the farm and I'll 20
off to the wars"
So saying the professor heaved an
other sigh and put out his hand in
Mr.. Jarr's direction. But in self sac
rifice and heroism Mr. Jarr was not
10 b9 outdone.
"Wither this hand" he cried, as he
grasped. the professors. rather than
it should guide the plough while you
so TO meet the foe afield. Let US
fight for the old flag, Fred, side by
side"
You don't often so to these
thinSs?" said the professor, dropping
the war story attitude, and he shifted
in a sort Of inquiring manner.
Il only go when have to-" said Mr..
Jar; ana that Is the reason have
to return with you to theescene of
strife. My wife made me come, and |
she will punish me severely if l falter
and fall back"
Yes said the professor. that
froek coat of yours smells so strong
Of mothballs that | know YOU aren't
called out to these affairs often"
Mr. Jarr Shifted himself
ITS eivin' off fumes like a gas at
tack" he replied. at was a sad day
ever set myself back the good money
paid for this floor walkers regalia.
II hadn't a frock coat couldn't be
made to come, for l understand i'll
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31

you cant come proper y needn't come
at all
It's all right for you" said the
professor; but look al me. Pm paid
20 attend these affairs and you're not.
low would you like TO be in my
Inc question was unanswerable.
Mr, Jarr and Prof. Pomfret sighed
tosether and returned to the Ladies'
6altie' They got back just in time to
receive hard and reproachful glares
from their respective wives
II was also evident that the ladies
assembled in the Cerise Room of the
silded st. Croesus Hotel for the wind
Ing up Of the Laides' Liberty Loan
Drive were in q condition of nervous
collapse from having to add up sew
eral columns Of figures
Ladies', said Mrs. Strgver, the
chaifwoman, eve have q great trsat
in store for us this Afternoon. The
bond sales was q success. I don't
know how much we sold but We were
out for a record
TO make it or break it," murmared
the professor in Mr.. larrs ear
we all remember Prof ponsonhy
Pomfrets delightful and erudite enln-
ciation'---
2 She means my Liberty Lean
speeches." said the professor in
whispered aside to Mr. Jarr.
Last week he inspired us..- Mrs.
sawyer went ON. To-day he will CON
clude our efforts by a felicitous ad-
dress, Before, I'VE hear from him we
VIII be entertained by the famous Miss
Niche Brakef- Hart, the celebrated
authoress of A Treasury of Tears
The Armistice of Anguish and her
latest and greatest work. The Affairs
OF Despair Ii gives me great pleas
ure 70 introduce Miss Niobe Braker-
Hart"
very fat woman of fifty, arrayed
in purple with long jet earrings which
would catch in tho creases in her
neck and jisgle up and down as she
spoke, arose. For 80 large a woman
she had surprisingly thin voice.
on want to get this said the |
professor to Mr.. ,Iarr. This woman |
always reads from her vers lbre
poetry" /
Did she buy Liberty Bonds >"
tsked Mr., Jarr
II understand she bought till she
vas hurt or happy or both" replied
he professor.
Then I'll take two earfuls of her
'ers libre," said Mr. Jar.
And he composed himself to suffer
or the good cause.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

Tie subject OF rifle shooting often
crops UP at one of the training camps.
I'll bet any one here box OF
cigars said Lieut.. A, that can fire
ten shots at goo yards and tell without
waiting for the marker the result of
each one correctly"
"Done!" cried Major b. And the
whole mess turned out early the next
morning to witness the experiment,
The lieutenant fired. Miss" An
other shot. Miss he repeated A
third shot "Mss."
Here, hold on" put in Major r..
What are YOU trying to do? You're
net firing for the target"
''Of course no" was the response.
I'm firing for those cisars."--Stara
and Stripes.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
LOOKING FORWARD

He was q strikinsly handsome fig
ure in his Uniform as he started out
upon his round of farewell calls.
sand You'll think of me every siusle
minute when you're in those stupid
trenches" questioned the sweet
young thing upon whom he first
called.
He nodded en1phatically, Every
minute"
And you'll kiss my picture every
niEht?"
Twice a night" he vowed. pattng
the pretty head on his shoulder.
And write me long, long letters?"
she insisted
Every spare minute I have" he
reassured her, and hurried away to
the next mamie on his list.
There were ten in all who received
his promises.
When 1t was over he sighed al
hope, me murmured YEARLY. there
won't be much fighting TO do over
there. I'm going to be so tremend-
ously busy. London opinion.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
THE SENSITIVE MAN.


Andrew Carnegie, complimehted
one day at his Scottish castle on his
eirts TO the cause of education, said to
2 young lady: .-..z
There's nothing so pathetic as the
sell made man who is conscious of his
lack OF education. These poor fell
lows seem to think that everybody is
educated but themselves.
once. in a smart New York res
taurant, ! heard a man with q dia-
mond horseshoe pin say hoarsely to a
waiter:
Shove over that chandelier
1t isn't chandelier, sair,' said the
waiter as he obeyed, It's cruet'
The man with the diamonds blush
ed brick red.
"Well, never mind what she u.s.
shove her over he said We amt
all been to college. '"-Argonaut.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
THE AFFRoNrEp GAt,r.opEr., ;.

Sir Frederick Smith--"Galloper," as
he is sometimes called In England
got into difficulty now and then dur
ing his American visit on account of
his fiery and ebIllient nature.
Galloper' Smith had alteration
with an lr!sh-American lawyer at q
trial that he attended in New York.
Tie alteration became very warm.
Finally one of "Galloper's" supporters
said, with sheer and a toss of the
head toward the Irish American;
Come away, Sir Frederick. Re
member your rank"
Remember I'm what?" reared
"Galloper' Smith, fiercey. Washing
ton Star.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
GERMAN MAJOR WIDOW BACK.

PhlIadeIphia North American.
New York--Ameriea looked so good
to Mrs. Ethel Clyde yoilmer upon her
return To- her native land after the
death OF her German husband, Major
Ernst Gottfried vollner. killed in
Picardy, in 1916, that she has applied
in supreme court justice Pendieton
for permission to resume her maiden
name, Ethel clyde. 1t was readily
granted The names of her German
born sons were also changed from
Wilhelm Pancost and .Goetz Gerhard
to William Hill and Thomas Hill
Clyde. With sparkling eyes Mrs.
Clyde announced she had resumed
her American citizenship.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31

Copyright 1918 The Press Publishing World)
h oNesans an
When
is sign he is either superhuman--or still
that beginning
rather than graft beginning look as priv
a q
To married
those unconditional morning after
tened
Next to the who always
him
Somehow make him
miserable
There nothing like failures
marriage increase the number
marriage it, one
fgnravey
is the ma
has order
life
has hers trying to discover perpetual
Before distance marriage content
' '"'l'"~' N'"N'"'
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
RESTITIvrroN

Any restitution Germany offers to
the allies will be offered, you may be
sure, in the. spirit of Griggs," 40
me speaker was Edward Hunger
ford. the advertising expert.
GrisSs and Miggs." he went on.
were kidnapped by bandits and shut
They'll take every cent we've cot
on us moaned Miggs. Every blessed
cent
They will, eh?" ssld Griers.
thoughtfully.
They sure will
roll. ii''n A''
here, Misss. he said, here is that
Wv We neen owing Won for so long !"
---rlt'spursh Chronicle Telegraph.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31

MEN AND NOT A GOVERN
MENT or LAWS.
AND THIS TODAY Is THE
D FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THE TWO GREAT
PARTIES. THE GENTLEMAN
WHO SOUNDED THE KEY
NOTE FOR THE DEMOCRATS
HERE IN THEIR CONVENTION
WAS PERFECTLY CONSIST
BNT WITH THE PRINCIPLES
OF THEIR GREAT PARTY
LEADER (Wilson) WHEN HE,
IN SUBSTANCE, ANNOUNCED
THE DOCTRINE THAT A CRIT
lCtSM OF AN ACT OF THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES, OR EVEN OF A LEG
1SLATIVE ENACTMENT. or
PROPOSED ENACTMENT EN-
MATING FROM ONE OF THE
DEPARTMENTS OF THE GOV
EMINENT WAS LESS MA
JESTE;; PERFECTLY CoNs1s-
TENT WITH THE THEORY OF
THE DEMOCRATS RECENTLY
ADOPTED, THAT THIS WAS
REALLY A GOVERNMENT or
MEN. ADVANCED BY WOOD
ROW WILSON. NOW ADOPTED
ALMOST UNANIMOUSLY BY
THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL
PARTY--that in one CO. coordinate
branch Of the government, the
legislative department, that no
voice must be raised in criticism
OF any measure because this is a
government Of men and not a
cove ruTnent of la Ws--N
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
BACHELOR GIRL REFLECTIONS
BY HELEN ROWLAND. G.

Spight 1915 The Press Publishing World
e lo'e-sas an ounce OF enterprise Of theory t
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
THE WISDOM or pENNIE

MY boy, Bonnie is lazy, but must
say he Is smart" said the musician.
is he going to follow In your foot
steps,"
NO. learned TO play the from
bone and I've sset to MARCH about
eight miles every time there 10 pa
rade. Bonnie is learning tho harp, so
they will have to let hiM sit down.
Boston Transcript.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
A REAL IRON TONIC
Puts Iron Into the Blood Where 1t
Is Prime Necessity.


Is u Prime Necessity.
You must have an abundance Of
IRON in your blood if you would have
the vigor necessary to overcome OBJ
staeles, push ahead and bring things
TO pass.
Iron is a valuable medicine; it
gives strength, stamina, endurance.
You can have more of it, better
color, steadier nerves, by taking
Peptiron, a real iron tonic, which
VIII make a gratifying change in
your condition in very short time.
Feptiron combines iron with nux.
celery, pepsin, and other valuable in
gradients. and is in chocolate-coated
pills. Pleasant to take and easily
aasslmilated. OF druggists or direct
from G. :. Hood Co.. Lowell. Mass.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
Better Tnan pills.

The question has been asked, In
what way are Chamberlain's Tablets
superior to pills? Our answer is
They are easier and more pleasant to
take, more gentle and mild in their
action and more reliable. Then they
cleanse and invigorate the stomach
and leave the bowels in a natural
while pills are more harsh
in effect and their use Is often fol-
lowed by consultation.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
EEAHIE

Muitens looked at his partner sharp
~ when he arrived at the office.
Man aliven he said, anxiopsly.
yon lock rotten. What's up?"
y feel rotten" said Collins wearily
this morning.
then?" ia0'
no; Somebody, curse him. hreu sht
me hahy trumpet yesterday. " Chi
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-10-31
NEW CuNlTRErE ,uyEn

The barrel of new concrete mixer,
which can be belted to an automobile
engine for power, can be tilted at
various angles and continues to re-
Volve while being dumped
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
Diamond Cut Diamond.

Mr.. Henry Fielding Dickens, the
newly appointed common sergeant, is
responsible for an amusing story con-
corning an eminent kings counsel who,
In the course of learned argument,
rested his case entirely on one reported
decision, which he claimed to be Of
paramount Importance.
But when he had finished, his oppo-
nent, being asked by the judge what
he had to say, replied:
Il will not trouble your lordship with
any further argument. 1 only wish TO
say that my friend has forgotten to
inform your lordship that the case on
which he relies has been taken on ap-
peal to The house of lords and the de-
cisiOn absolutely reversed"
Upon this the eminent K. G. turned
to his colleagues round about and
whispered:
Good heavens, what q liar that man
must be! Why, there never was such
case. made IT all up out of my own
head as 1 went along r'-Pearson's
Weekly.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
SmeIt Fishing In New Brunswick.

The smelt fishing season recently
opened on the Northumberland strait
shores of New Brunswick. Returns
show that in the Miramichi district, at
and near Chatham. both quality and
quantity of fish have been disappoint-
ing. The fishermen there are receiving
about ten cents q pound, while at Rex
ton and RichibuctO, In Kent county, 1t
is reported they have received as much
as 10 cents; the average price is not
above II cents.
In the recently proclaimed embargo
on the export from the Dominion OF
certain food products, fresh frozen fish
is included, but when destined for the
United States shipments In fair aver
age quantities are permitted to go for
ward under Endorsement by collectors
Of customs at ports of exit.
The export of smelts from the Mono
ton consular district during the 1867
season, as shown by consular invoices
certified, was 957, 1889 pounds, valued
at S95,SO5.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
OUR BOYS IN FRANCE AND
HOME PROTECTION

The men on the firing line represent
the pick Of our American youth. One In
four OF our boys at homo was sick. re-
1ected because Of physical deficiency.
Many times the kidneys were to blame
II we wish to prevent old age coming
on too soon, or II we want to increase
our chances for a long life. DR.. Pierce OF
the Surgical Institute, Buffalo. N. Y. says
that you should drink plenty OF water
daily between meals. Then procure at
your nearest drug store Anuric double
strength. This An-u-ric drives the uric
acid out and cures backache and rheuma-
tism.
II we wish to keep our kidneys In the
best condition a diet OF milk and vege-
tables, with only little meat once day.
Is the most suitable. Drink plenty OF
pure water, take Anuric three times day
for a month. II sells for GOO.
Step into the drug store and ask for
Anuric, or send DR.. Pierce 10c for trial
pkg. Anuric, many times more potent
than hthia. eliminates uric acid as hot
water meits sugar. A short trial win
convince you.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
FEED FROM FISH AND OFFAL
Material Produced in Form of Meal Be-
Ieved Valuable for Both
Swine and Cattle.

A factory has been started at Ymui-
den, at the entrance to the North sea
Canal, for transmitting the least de-
sirable, fish and fish offal into sat
isfactory food for swine, writes Con-
sui Frank w. Mahin, Amsterdam,
Netherlands. This is considered Of
double importance-it feeds the swine
and also frees articles (maize, for ex-
ample) usually fed to swine, for other
purposes, even for human food.
Spoiled fish have been fed to swine,
but with bad effect on the taste Of the
pork. The new factory, it is stated,
makes "vischmeel' Qiterally, fish
meal) from the material it uses, which
product, analysis shows, contains 90
per cent albumen and II per cent
fat. and also realizes an oil that after
suitable publication, could be used in
competition with cod-liver oil, or In
any case could be very useful as an in
duStrial oil.
1t is suggested that besides feed
ing swine with this new product 1t be
tried with cattle, as a possible aid In
the serious situation which now ex-
lists in regard to feeding live stock.
The new factory is considered of
great Importance in scientific circles,
and hope is expressed that the govern
ment as we'll as the general public
will give it earnest support as mat
ter of national concern.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
HOME = :
TOWN - -
HELpS6]
PLANNING FOR SPRING WORK
Wintry Days Aid in Mapping Out
Landscaping to Be Done Very
Early In the Season.

The dreary days Of winter cause
many to reflect on how much more
beautiful they could have made their
grounds the past summer, and already
plans are being laid for landscaping
the coming spring.
All landscape gardening should ex-
press some though. or feeling and a
deep study of the site and surround
ings should reveal upon what specific
foundation the theme should be built.
If for q home place for man we'll
along in years, retired from business,
it should have an air of quietness, Sc
clusiOn and retirement. This cOneep-
ton would be most easily realized on
a country place of some acres and
would more closely conform to nature
than any other type. Fortunately this
would wreak few changes in the ma
tural aspect and would closely ap-
proach the ideal in landscape or ma
tural gardening as distinguished from
other and more formal or picturesque
styles.
Landscapes may also be bold or gay,
or even florid-perhaps lurid, says a
landscape gardener; but when they
get TO be too bizarre it passes out of
the realm of landscape gardening,
which is to either build close to nature
or merely assist nature in touching up
bare spots or insufficient and unsatis-
factory effects in the existing wildness.
When the process is finished it should
present a picture, a perfect picture.
The true test is: Will the artist come
to paint or to photograph? For insofar
as you attract or repel him, just to
that degree have you succeeded or
failed. Harmony must also be the
keynote, picture Is not composed of
collection of interesting objects or
features except these are In harmony.
Neither will change in topography or
mere planting make picture, for good
pictures are strong in character and
this is possible only in broad COM
prehensive plan that first considers
and treats the landscape as whole
all effects, grading, planting, even
buildings are. or should be, but Incl.
dertals!
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
Next Transportation Problem.

That aerial rapid transit lines con-
Meeting the roofs Of the worlds large
cities may be the next transportation
problem to demand solution was pre-
dicted at a recent convention of own
ers and managers representing the bulk
of the big building interests of this
country.
Congestion of traffic on street and
elevated lines is not the only consid-
Grafton leading to this conclusion, re-
marks Popular Mechanics Magazine.
Time and convenience are also essen
tial. Plans for connecting adjacent
skyscrapers by means of aerial tram
cars running on cables and operated
by haulage cables, such as are used TO
connect several peaks of the Alps, have
been proposed to meet this problem.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
CHANGED TO TEARS OF JOY
Jews Need No Longer Weep Bitter
ness at the Wall Of Mailing
In Jerusalem.

Strange sights must have been wit
messed within the last few days at
the wall of wailing In Jerusalem, the
place of lamentation where for gen.
erations Jews have congregated to be-
wall the sorrows of their race.
Tears of joy that Jerusalem is at
last freed from the Mphammedan
clutch must have fallen upon stones
that have been so often wet with tears
of grief.
Many visitors from America have
threaded their way through dark and
dirty alleys to the small paved area
where the Jews of Jerusalem have la
mented their heritage. The wall Is
said to be the ancient retaining wall
of Solomon's temple, the nearest place
to the Holy of Holes that the MOham-
MADAM masters allowed the Jews to
approach.
Here every day, and especially on
Fridays, the mourners leaned against
the great stones of the wall, wept
and chanted their lltanies. Their sim
certify was unquestionable. The stones
were literally wet with tears and there
was no mistaking the sorrow that
shook their voices as they repeated the
seventy-ninth psalm, with its somber
opening.
30 God, the heather are come into
Thine inheritance; Thy Holy Temple
have they defiled; they have laid Je-
rusalem in heaps Boston Post.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
Lacks Friend In Need.

The naval class was under signal
instruction. Most of them had just
come back from leave, and, as re-
suit, to some of the boys in blue the
instructors voice seemed very far
away indeed.
"a ship in Distress" he was saying,
through the room spaces, "has several
methods by means of which she can
make known her condition to other YES
sells or home stations. Name one,
Binks,'
'"rhe international code signal N.
c." replied Binks, waking up just in
time.
Right said the instructor. "Jenks,
name another"
jerks started out of a dream.
"Eh?" he CALCULATED.
"What would you do if you were In
distress?" repeated the signal in
structor.
"Why," mumbled jerks, pawn my
watch"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-02-15
GINSENG MARKET IN CHINA
Depression in Business Reported Past
Year, Sale Of the Root Being
Much Below Normal.

The market for ginseng IN Hong
kong and the China field generally
Is depressed, and dealers look for lit
tie revival in the trade until well to-
ward Chinese New Year. Usually
there is quickening in the trade as
cool weather comes on, but so far the
past year. and in spite of the high ex-
change value Of silver which ought 70
stimulate the trade, the sale of the
root has been much below normal.
says Consul General George +. An
Gerson, Hongkong. Arrivals have been
below normal and the demand has
not kept pace with the supply. An auc-
ton of a lot of American root on con-
signment recently brought fair prices.
Two days later a similar lot of as good
If not better root sold for little more
than half the price brought by the first
lot, and private sales made later were
on a still lower level. Uncertain po-
litical conditions in the interior OF
China are given as the chief reason
for the present slump In demand, but
uncertain financial conditions due to
the export of silver and copper coin.
age from the provinces as well as the
existence of piracy and other disorders
in some districts have also had ma
terial influence.
Sales have been irregular and the
market may improve at any time. The
root on hand of course will get the
benefit of the Improvement, while that
held in the United States will probably
arrive too late to secure full returns.
The ginseng business and all similar
lines of trade in China are in an I'M
certain state and little reliance. can
be placed upon the continuance of any
conditions.