Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-01-14
SHRAP.NEL
PEACE PROSPECTS BRIGHT.


your noble work has caused niue
comment hereabouts. Only today liz
bricks were thrown az nae as cAm
down 10 the office. and yesterda,
somebody put pepper in tho office
girls chewing gum and this thns
has gotta be stopped. I've received
peck OF threatening letters request
ing that you depart from the bach
page In other words. 20 to -
The office.eirl tainted The editor
swooued
Russia" concluded the editor. In
Russia | believe you will find much
material for your inquiring mind and
fertile pen. Go to Russia ami report
the progress OF peace.
There alnt no such anlmulei" We
replied
Never mind-don't let that stop
you. Report II, anyhow. and IL you
cant find peace find peace confer
ence and report that. We can put Il
on the sporting page where the prize
fights used to be The city commits
siohers have arranged TO pay your ex
penses to 90 to Russia. but they didn't
say anything about coming back"
So we went to Russia and got the
straight details of the peace confer.
ence. 1t was wonderful affair anr
We wouldn't have missed il for any
thing
The hall was crowded with BOlshe
Wiki and Ukralnians and thinss. The!
looked hungry and all of the tarper
must have been en- strike. We sal
naIt to County Kegowhiskey He hid
a large bomb in his pocket and was
chewing rusty nails
The meeting came 10 order Leon
Trotzky mounted the platform an
t. took of his coat collar and vest
Everybody relied up thor sleeves
and took the bricks oat CT their poe !
cts. Then we sang. onward Chris f
tian Soldiers and the delegates b /.
gan to make peace by throwing d Gus I
p,dor az Mr.. Trotaky Mi Tro,ak!
made q face at County Kegowhiskey ,
that was enough. The count Wa
on his feet exc.aIming:
Honorable chairman. in the name
OF peace | call upon you TO come down
and ! will knock Cd your blocksky,
"Sit downsky.'. yelled all the RS
sian peace delegates.
Il wontsky. am a free Russial
add demand my rightoviich.'
Nicholas Levine threw chair al !
the count and the delegates went on
inaking peace. Two OF them cat dowr
% Levine. Mr.. Trotzky began to al,
dress the crowd We want peace. /
be said Peace. lots OF money ami
no work"
"Hurrahsky." everybody yelled
"HurIahsky-' We hoilered
no work and free vodka went 0
1roiikyr 4
mo free beer yelled the coun
II dor. Ike vodka Il demand fire |,
beef"
Hire q hallski." yelled peace de
egate, hitting kegowhiskey in the
nose. Just then, a clock struck twelve
All the delegates were on their feet
Gentlemen. be seated" implore
Trotsky. We mus, discuss peace.
"Oh hellski' Peace nothing He
It's twelve O'Clock and we've only Ia
NO revolutions this morning. Dow
With somebody"
Yes, down with everybody" yelle
all the peace delegates.
Nj. Levine bit Mr.. Tro,zhy. NJ
Irot2ky kicked MI Levine in e.
'hins All the. delegates were MAXI,
psace BY throwing things at ca,
other and rolling in pairs on the &c
Then Count Keeowhiskey picked
his bomb aud we jumped out H.
winGoW.
E When we s,opted running we We
IN telegraph Office. We sent th
caoiesram to the editor "pea,,
80 poets very bright. Wish yon
"s.e here
We are clad indeed 1. ioin 4 r
estoeined fellow colyumiat in the or, &
Saae for an errorless day among lin 0
tyTrs and proosresders. The wor
must be made safe fer oolyums. 4
now doth the gentle proofreader =
Improve our shining verse. ,
ne spells the things that we do v,
And MAKES our bad lines worse
i4e tihhers all the lines We write
Aud changes quite few. A
uAop opltdn sllAb lss tsu, gsyu am,
Aud pIirs the type vi, too!
he pbtthates and multila;es
70 suit his special vhim
Ane some OF cur most cherished iok,.
~ rends Them limb from limb
y Billy Ham, ! surely am
most grateful for your aid
FOR Il has often touched my heart
10 see your race DISPLAYED
Ana J have wished fun many tim
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