The Washington herald., 1918-05-11

soldier. and Percy Tucker. a seaman.
proved their right to be assigned 10
shock duty the other morning when.
without the aid of gas masks. fighting
against terrible odds. they made pris-
oners OF three large sectors Of linn
burger cheese after a desperate hand
to-hand struggle.
In their eagerness TO show their
courage they broke into the cheesery
conducted by Salvatore Maculuso. OF
Harlem, and now their freedom has
vanished. Their mistake will deprive
them OF a chance to make q trip to
France which is a real calamity for
those who came in contact with them
declared they could stand a whole lot
OF sweeping by ocean breezes just
now.
Two detectives were about a mile
away from the cheese garage when
they began shifting vigorously. Each
accused the othe- OF smoking finnan
haddie. but at least they recognized
the fumes OF limburger. Catching
hold OF hands for mutual support
they smelled their way to the deli
catesscn shop. from which point they
had no difficulty in trailing Percy
and Peter two blocks further to their
lair.
The detectives reached the station
house with their prisoners and the evi-
dence and then collapsed. They were
relieved from duty and two detectives
who had colds in their heads relieved
them
In court the prisoners called TO
friends in the back of the room to aid
them. The latter refused TO enter the
danger zone. telling Percy and Peter
to communicate by post The evi-
dence was under guard and the guard
ians thereof prayed that some one
would come in and steal it all over
again.
What on earth tempted you to
steal hmburger cheese?" asked one OF
the sleuths.
I'VE were hungry" answered the
prisoners.
Then why didn't you steal paris
green or something like that? No jury.
will ever believe a man is hungry
enough Cor limburger to steal it,
And tht is the close OF New York's
fascinating novel, Hard on the Scent"
"a new nest smeller.
Having determined TO make a clean
breast of it and let the law wreak
its Justice on him, desperate Leonard
Wander. aged L, approached a police
man on Lexington avenue and handed
him the following confession:
Il stole IS from the grocerman. gave
y to my mother and spent g on my
own birthday party. 1 give myself up
for the crime"
Desperate Leonard only lent him
self. however. He was returned to his
mother. who is a widow, and the fam
lily slipper went into front-line service
She was a picture to look upon as
she tripped into a Broadway car. I'm
der her arm she carried a portfolio
or music. She looked all about her
for seat. but not a one was to be
had. Men buried their noses further
in the headlines. She hung gracefully
to a strap for several blocks and then
the Big Idea came. She cleared her
throat and started singing The Star
Spangled Banner" Everybody arose.
She selected the best seat and sat
down-and the conductor suppressed a
gigsle struggling for expression.
VIII Irwin, back from Europe, was
given a reception the other night by
the alumni of Stanford University
When he entered the room the college
men gave him a rousing cheer. He
became so frustrated that he stepped
on the train Of a lady's dress. There
was an ominous rip and a chorus of
gasps. But the lady was a diplomat
She turned to the man nearest her.
which happened to be her husband
and said: George, that is twice you
have stepped on my dress tonight. -
He apologized. Later in going out
some one else stepped on the lady S
tram and Irwin rushed up: Pardon
madam" he said. "let this one be
on me-"