davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

II mans wife catches him with the goods on him and he manages to lie out or It and squares matters without ali
 mcny proceedings, he feels that the dip lomatic corps is comprised of a lot of
 poor dumb. untutored pikers. Any time your wife asks you if you think that some pretty girl in the neigh
 borhood is good looking you should say NO" You will be wall-eyed liar, but you will avoid a fuss.
 A married man is up against it. If he lets his whiskers grow for four days at time his wife knows that he doesn t love her like he used to. And if he slaves every day his wife knows that he IS flirting with other women. A man looks just as old at supper time as he did before breakfast. But woman can make herself look 10 years younger.
 Behave yourself, mind your own busi- ness, keep your nose clean and hustle, and the world will go around telling how lucky you are.
 What has become of the old-fashioned boy who believed that he would be sent to the penitentiary if he carried knife with blade more than four inches long? A lot of the female zealots who are working for constitutional amendment
 prohibiting the use of liquor would faint anc fall in it if the legislatures were vot- ing on constitutional amendment pro- hibting the wearing of skirts that do not come down to the ankle and waists that do not fasten under the chin. and pro- hibiting the wearing of any dress mate- rial that Is not opaque. Judging by the number of divorces ob- tained by ''child brides" 1t has just about gotten so that girl wants to get mar ried as soon as she is old enough to say yes"
 II wouldn't help any If the street cars were to run backward. The women would turn right around and get off the wrong way, anyway.
 A wife is so suspicious that if her hus- band talked in his sleep and called her pet names she would believe that he is only pretending to be asleep and is lead ing double life.
 W hat has become of the old-fashioned married man who could afford to keep two flats on one salary? A man may be too honest 10 steal any money. But when he is on a trip he can't resist the temptation to take a eake of hotel soap as souvenir You can put a cyclometer on an auto mobile and 1t will register 10000 miles and be in good shape. But If you put one on the phonograph owned by your neigh
 Dor the poor cyclometer would wear out
 in q week.
 They are wearing their skirts lower. But the girl who has a comfy shape still exposes enough stocking between the shoe top and the skirt hem to demon |strate that she was In line when Legs were being handed out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

Even my good old friend Henry Wat terson, who is basking in the sunshine 1 of Florida, when some of us in colder climes have been digging about Tor coal is jumping on the vigorous young womer who want to vote, and the preachers who want to illuminate in politics for the prohibition amendment as side issue His very cleverly worded article Is printed today And it Is well worth reading for those who love rhetoric and expressions of semi-serious thoughts.
 I, # #
 But the newspapers mission is to bring the public to realization of the big problems before us today.
 A Birmingham boy who made stereo- type plates from which this newspa- per was printed several months ago, is reported to have sbeen killed last week in going lover the top in France.
 He was burly fellow-of fine physique, jovial temperament, who could handle fifty two pounds of metal in plate for print as though it we're a sheet of copy paper. He laughed and played in The Age-Herald office, and insisted on being in the first forces and In the Rainbow Division, and go- ing to France with Colonel Screws, Captain Mortimer Jordan and John Cornett, who worked beside him in tlle composing room.
 He wanted to be near Leon Brad ley, who is now a lieutenant in the army in France, whose copy Cornett had put In type and he had stereo- tyIed.
 Everyone of The Age Herald hopes this young man is yet alive in the fighting line
 # # *
 1t was rather remarkable thing that every young man connected with The Age Herald, of the age limit vol
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

New York stacker claimed he had dependents because he had been feeding the birds and squirrels in Central park. What we don't understand is how he escaped from the squirrels. < # # l It is said that Trotzky Is still a poor man. Even if he is rich, it wouldn't be safe for him to flash bankroll at this stage of the proceedings # * %t l Henry Fords submarine chasers will be known officially as Eagles" How ever, ribald testers here and there may call them "sea flivvers." x .. # Those American soldiers in France who call Secretary Baker the "old man" don't mean that he's ready for the su- perannuated list * % x The report that 15o Japs were slain by maximalists in Siberia probably means that the Japanese won't do much more watchful waiting. |. "ls education useless? asks the Pitts burg Dispatch. Not entirely. People with educated feet make a good living on the stage.
 * @ XR Congress should see to it that an Amer ican soldier in France gets love letter in less than 90 days after 1t Is written.
 $ * *
 The fair defendant on the witness stand should weep discreetly. Tears too copously shed impair her beauty.
 # * :x
 No matter what suitcase contains. if isn't safe to carry said suitcase through a dry town when it's leaking.
 * # *
 Some of these days poet is going to have real inspiration and sing the praises of the spring onion.
 # < <
 Republican leaders are talking things over, but they haven't been able to put over anything yet.
 < # #
 Isn't it about time for the Kaiser and the Sultan to enjoy another fervent em- brace?
 That little wife is we'll worth prizing who says she's bent on "Iooverizing."
 as # *
 There are number of citizens in Wis., consin who belong in Germany.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

l1D)LAzING jeweed trail for liberty lJD) through an opalescent sea of em- eralds."
 The battleship Oklahoma clipping through the water at twenty-four miles an hour"
 These lines are under that splendid picture of force, and power and confl- dence on the front of The Age-Heralds Rotogravure section today. It is clear illustration to the ordinary mind of what this country is doing to- day. It is not fancy picture. It shows a bit of what this American government has done and what it proposes to do.
 :. # #
 Every publication, every industry and every loyal man and every loyal woman in this country are striving to exercise the same force shown in this picture.
 ~ < x
 The Age-Herald, as that newspaper in the south upholding the government in it's great energies and striving to do it's part in today's war work, is endeavoring to set the same pace that this battle ship Oklahoma is setting.
 It is a big work.
 Some newspapers are delving about in all sorts of little things that distract the attention of the people, and that make a local or national sensation for day Only yesterday afternoon num- Der of well-known men in this com munity sent cards and long articles into The Age Herald's office, dealing with To- cal political matters which could not do anybody any good at this time. These articles are not in type, but are in pigeon holes awaiting the personal calls of ann bilious authors to claim the same. The authors are at liberty to read them to their friends, and discuss them on the street corners and even to claim that The Age-Herald is a rotten old newspaper for not printing their labored articles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

take the matter up himself unless some one has requested to make a statement
 on behalf of Chairman J. L. Davidson. reaching the various mems and womens clubs, and places wherever people as- semble for pleasure or study. A numt or of attractive speakers will drive home the matter this week. Don't merely lis- ten and then go home and forget to act and make a bee line for the Birmingham public library.
 There must be many books in your homes not now in use and which you will not care to read again. Do not let
 them stand idle. Muster them into the service of the nation.
 Do not get the idea that the soldiers
 have no time to read There are many hours of waiting. when, unless we pros vide them with reading matter, they will be Absolutely idle.
 This war must not be a war of de- struction only. It must be net gam to humanity. Our fighting men must receive the humanizing, helpful effects or good reading. The public library mast accompany the men into the war. M The imperative need now is for more
 books.
 Two million books are needed Bir- mingham must do her share and get rp her allotment of 10.0oA
 Several hundred thousand books have been placed in camp libraries by gift and purchase. As the army increases
 more books are needed For every man lin. service there should be book in service all the time.
 'The training camp of today is not essentially different from big uni |versity." MT. Raymond Fosdick tells .ts. The fellows work and study good deal harder in the training camps than they would in university. This war is a highly specialized affair It's a mod (C0ntinued on Pare Ninel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

been an inspiration to all the noble women assisting her.
 The men will organize later, but the women are so confident of their ability to score fecord-breaking achievement that even without the lmen they would succeed in bringing Alabama to the goal, whatever be the allotment.
 Their motto is, Let's make Ala bama the banner state of the south in the third liberty drive.' All honor to the women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
# x <
Books No Soldier Wants to Read

II EFT us hope few people in Bir- mingham have an idea that "any old book is good enough for soldier Patriotic citizens have sent large quantities of books to the pub- lie library for distribution among our fighting men, and if there were a few "undesirables" in the lot, they were not numerous enough to cause remark.
 Librarian Read of the University of Cincinnati, who has been acting as receiving agent for soldier litera- ture, evidently got great many con- signments from pro-German sympa- thizers. In the University News he publishes this list, containing some of the contributions that were sent to him:
 The Elsie books; file of the 'Un-
 dertakers Review; Sunday school
 books of 50 years ago; annual reports
 Of the bureau of ethnology; broken
 file of a German periodical devoted
 to natural history. dating from 1860; the Postal and Photographic code of
 the Argentine republic; annual re-
 ports of the Episcopal Eye and Ear
 hospital. 20 years old; Ruskin's Let
 ters to Young Girls; Miss Leslie's
 sAmerican Girls Book, or Occupa-
 tions for Play Hours" CISCO; copies
 of the Housewife and Home
 Needlework' and a Diary for 1916,
 partly filled in by the donor.
 These books, and all others like them, are worthless except as waste paper. In selecting books to send to soldiers, this is good rule to follow, particularly if you are man: If you did not find volume either instruc- tive or entertaining yourself, keep it or throw it away. Don't try to get rid of it by donating" it to one of the distributing agencies for soldiers.
 Meritorious books are wantad-not necessarily the classics. Short stories, novels, poetry, scientific and histori- cal works, manuals devoted to the various arts and trades-in fact, any thing that is really worth while. A person who has acquired as many as a dozen books should know the diff ference between good reading matter and rubbish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
CHAMpIoN LAZY MAN.

Birmingham has gotten so she does not wait to be pushed into campaigns when the pleasure or comfort of the soldier boys is in question. The date for the
 nation wide campaign for. books begins tomorrow and lasts for week, but all ready Birmingham is in the game and more than 800 of the 10000 volumes asked of the city have been sent to the public library.
 I was down to the library Saturday morning early, for I wanted to see for myself just in what shape the drive was and to my surprise l found in the center of the war department, presided over so well by Miss Emily Miller, big
 table just piled up with as fine an as- sortment of books as any public institu- tion or private home could wish
 Now, if there is one thing I like to do, 1t is to finger books, so was soon pick ing up volume after volume to try and get a line on the class of literature that
 was being donated. and I felt gratified that the public was giving it's best. l picked up a beautiful volume, a verita- ble edition de luxe. and as l opened 'ts
 deckle-edged linen pages. saw it's finely
 drawn illustrations, and glimpsed it's
 attractive print, and noted the high class
 press work, I somehow wished that 1t
 might find it's way into front line
 trench where mud and dirt reigned su- preme to brighten the life of some book lover who could appreciate it's beauty.
 The first call for books emphasized
 that fiction was wanted. It is still
 wanted, but those in charge of the camps have learned that many of the soldiers want to do some real hard reading, and
 statistics have shown in some of the
 cantonment libraries that 75 per cent
 of the works taken out were nonfictlon.
 ran across two handsome volumes of the "Government of England" by Low ell donated by J. w. Donneliy q Was tempted to beg. borrow or swipe the'n), and if they fall into the right hands they will furnish many an hour of solid enjoyment Col. T. O. Smith had sent in a bundle of choice titles, and many others too numerous to set down. I was glad to learn that the Edgewood cub had sent in S5 readable volumes.
 
 think. however. the thing which pleased me most was to learn from Miss Miller that one of the carpenters who was doing some work in the library saw the books and asked what they were for, land when told, said: Well, I'm glad somebody thought of doing 1t. have Ia fine volume of Riley's poems, end l am going to zee that some of our boys get chance to read some poetry. It has developed that the mon In khaki are
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
TRUE NOBLENEss

For this true nobleness | seek in vain, ln woman and in man find 1t not. almost weary of my earthly lot, My life-springs are dried up with burn
 ing pain."-- Thou find'st 1t not? pray thee look
 again, Look inward through the depths of thine
 own soul; How is it with thee? Art thou sound
 and whole? Doth marrow search show thee no earth
 ly stain? IF other men, sleeping. but never dead. Will rise in majesty to meet thine own: Then wilt thcu Hee 1t gleam in many
 eyes, Then will pure light around thy path
 be shed,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
Wearing, of the
 Green in Order

6H HIS is St. Patrick's Day and not U only will Irishmen and the descendants of Irishmen celebrate it, but men of various nationalities will
 wear a bit of green as a token of ! their respect for the memory of Ire lands patron saint. This has come | to be the custom the world over. St. Patrick was born about the year 389. His father was middle
 class landed proprietor, who is rep resented as living at place called
 Bannauenta, possibly Daventry of to- day.
 1 The British name of the future apostle was Succat. In his youth he
 suffered many hardships and was held in captivity for six years, during which time he was tending the herds of chieftain named Miliuc, in Coun- lty Antrim.
 He was deeply religious, and after escaping from bondage spent several Iyears-some chroniclers say four teen-in a monastery in Gaul On being ordained deacon he returned -- to the land of his birth and entered upon the work of missionary. A born leader he early exhibited ex- ecutive ability. He was invested with episcopal authority and in time was recognized as the foremost figure in Ireland.
 From slender material it is not easy, as the Encyclopaedia Britannica says, "to form a clear conception of the saints personality" He was, as the same authority remarks, evidently an intensely spiritual nature, and in addition to the qualities which go to form a strong man of action he must have possessed an enthusiasm which enabled him to surmount all difficulties"
 While many of the narratives of St. Patrick that used to be accepted as authentic are now treated as fiction, the main facts of his life, as related by J. B. Bury in his painstaking and impartial book, published in 1905, entitle him to the high place in his tory that has been universally ac- corded him.
 It is told of him that The found Ire Hand pagan and left it land of |saints,' and this is certainly reason enough for Irishmen holding his name in everlasting reverence.
 q E F
 A Birmingham boy now with Pershing writes that gift of champagne form hospitable Frenchman doesn't last long. Does he want to make the prohibition brothers and sisters back home have a conniption fit?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
EASY ITO HIT
he Florida Times-Union,

From the Florida Times-Union.
 Senator Underwood would have us strike blow at the classes in Germany that are responsible for this war" Well, the target is conspicuous. being both high and broad. As a rule we might say that a shot aimed at Germany could scarcely endanger a friend
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
vICARIoUs TRAVEL.

Strange things we see on movie screens The world at war and foreign scenes The geisha girls of old Japan, So neat and graceful with a fan. How pearls are fished up from the sea, The arctic, cold as cold can be; The simple life on southern isles, Where nature wears her blandest smiles. The birdman soaring high in air, The mighty ships that U-boats dare; The lonely wilds and cities vast, And countless wonders, first and last, As round and round this earth we go, Spectators at a movie show
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
AGREEABLE CONTRAST.

AGREEABLE CONTRAST. .Did you notice that old fellow who just now passed in a luxurious limou- sne?"
 ''of course. That car must have been built to order.'
 T can remember the time when he wore red flannel shirt and spit on his hands to keep his pick handle from
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
Four-Minute Speakers

T find that being a four-minute speaker takes a good deal of busy mans time" said Judge Hugh Locke, who has done such effective work in the theatres and churches under the direc- tion of chairman T. J. Crittendon
 is to get men who will serve regularly when called upon. I have never refused to speak when it was possible for me to do so, as I felt that I owed it to my country. The speakers are all conscious that. the hour calls for every one to do all in his power to stir the public up as to the government"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
EXPLODING A THEORY.

ENPLODING A THEORY. Here's an article on How to Make Hcme Life Happy What does the expert say?'' He says, first of all the surroundings must be harmonious. He isn't talking to me. My bungalow faces some of the most atrocious bill boards in town and I'm reasonably happy"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
SUPPLYING THE DEMAND

From the Nashville Tennessean.
 The St. Louis Star says: No less than 400 stills have been raided in Tennessee. Business as usual!' Makers of mountain dew have heard the call for increased production
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
SPEED THE WORK. Each time a ship Glides to the sea We've struck a blow For liberty.

A CONTINUOUS TALKER. MT. Dubwaite. I do wish you wouldn't t interrupt mel
 But, my dear, that would impose an unnecessary hardship
 What do you mean, sir?" You surely. don't expect me to live with you for years and years and never open my mouth.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
ADRIFvT WITH THE TIMES
l,s.}d3,uee

slipping"
 Well, does it make you feel any bet ter to remember what he used to beT'
 No But if were in his shoes, it would"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
Profes.or Burns Honored

Do you know, I think one of the greatest compliments that has been paid to the two Birmingham Shakespeare
 clubs, as well as Prof. T. T. Burns and
 Howard college, is that he has recently been elected vice president of the Ma tional Federation of Shakespearean
 clubs, of which John Temple Graves IS the president and which meets in Wash ington next month," said Mrs. Culpep- per of East Lake.
 He has also been asked to address this spelndid body of Shakespearean scholars which is a wonderful compI- ment, as few of our southern people have been so honored.
 Professor Burns is an honorary mem- Der of the Fortnightly Shakespeare club and the members feel that they too, are sharing the honohs with Professor Burns and Howard college, where he holds tne chair of English"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
PnblIc SchooIs Respond

have been delighted with the re- sponse have found in the public schools to the appeal for books for soldiers and sailors" said Miss Mary Banes, chil- dren's librarian at the public library, yesterday.
 Dr. Phillips special bulletin called the matter to the attention of every teacher, and these in turn have spoken to their pupils, with the result that we have several thousand eager little cam paigners who are going to do splendid work next week in bringing in the books. / was told by teacher in one of the schools that the children are ready with typewritten slips bearing their own names and telephone numbers and calling on householders to contrib ute books through them. These they will distribute in their own neighbor- hoods; the householder will telephone the children as requested on the slips, the children will collect the books and turn them in at their school The chil- dren are much interested in swelling the number of books collected by their grades. There is always much friendly rivalry in this sort of thing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
Business Men Keeping Fit

T am proud of the way some of the leading business and professional men are getting interested in keeping fit said Professor Abels of the Young Mems Christian association gymnasium.
 T have class which meets from 1 to |2 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and it is growing at every meeting. Ex- Governor ONeal, Superintendent T. E. Brooks, of the Louisville and Nashville, J. E. Penney, the real estate operator; Frank Dominick, the lawyer, and many others seem to get pleasure and profit out of their tri-weekly course in gym nastics. Few men in middle life real
 ze the advantage of taking regular ex- ercise under the direction of an instruc- tor"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

There's nothing level in our cursed natures, But direct viIIainy.
 -Timon of Athens.
 E z
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17
Grisgs Wants to Volunteer

WrIgEs WHMts 10 VOIuBtctF
 T am busy and a happy man in my work as principal of the public schools in Gadsden,' said Prof. w. c. Griggs, the well known educator, but after hear ing the talk of the Mississippi business man who made his will and turned i,s back on his affairs and went to France to serve in the army Y. M. c. A., have had quite fight to just keep from vol unteering at the close of the school year.
 T do not know just where I can best serve, I only know that I am willing to serve wherever I can serve best. This is part of my Rotary creed. It's barely possible that I might be able to do something during my vacation"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-17

BEGINNING THE DAY Lord, give me that practical piety which speaks itself out in loving service. May l look up, hut bring the vision down to strengthen by daily living. May l make my mountains serve my valleys. May l make my Sundays minister to my Mondays. In Christ's name. Amen.-H. M. E.