Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1918-08-29
Mount Hepsydam,
August Id, 1918.
Dear Editor:-

Dear Editor
Owing to the delay caused by the
double headed election Board in count
lag the votes for Bill and Clarence
we We're little late in leaving for
our vacation.
AS Jupiter was away on his vaca-
ton the water in that celebrated
stream was too low for navigation,
hence we were compelled to seek some
other conveyance.
We appealed to Bill McAdoo and
be kindly attacked sleeper to a log
train OF the Gone Glimering Lumber
Goa of Mangdoodleville.
We all got aboard and were off
Tor Hepsydam. We arrived at our
destination at a. m. on the 18th.
Things are conducted quite differ
emit here trem what they are on Salt
aver.
We entered this mythical land thru
scr Of crystal maze AS the crow
sizes the distance from entrance to
ext OF TINS maze is about tour(4)
Eilometers.
n vending your way through this
labarynetn you are likely to get be-
Nlldeled il difference a little more
50.
1t was five hours and 80 minutes in
the trouble is fellow meets himself
so often getting thru. When / en-
ergrated on the other side Old Sol
was nearing the western hills.
AS soon as we were in we took
lok around. The first thing to a.
ract our attention was three individ-
uals seated upon a rostum-remind-
ing us side show with the Living
skeleton the Fat woman and the
Bearded Lady.
Each one of us had to pass before
these much-a-mucks and be told the
cause of his defeat. We lined up in
the order of our Importance viz: Bill
Chiffon, Verge Highland, Jim Hughes,
Joe Gaines, Taylor George and Uncle
Bill.
l heard the Stentor saying in slau-
torian voice, "Bill Chiffon, you have
a good gun, are good shot, but the
charge was too light to bring down
a sextuple senatorial plane. 1t will
take mighty big bari to beat that
fellow Elkins."
Others followed but l did not hear
what defeats were. | was the last.
The first of this Samhedrim was a
woman with cold steel grey eyes,
brazen look, large mouth, hooked
nose, square jaws and high cheek
bones. She wore suit that was
cross between hobble skirt and a
pair of trouserloons. Her hat was
1916 style, trimmed with faded "yal-
Ter ribbon. She wore "yaller badge
on which was printed Goddess Of
Suffrage" Her voice hadthe sound
of Sandpapering fill. She looked
at me and said, pass on"
The next was aman with rumdum
nose, bloodshot eyes and shaking
hand. On his badge was John Bar
leycorn" He said in rasping voice
Bill you are in favor of the prohi-
bition Amendment, no good"
The next | came to was man of
sable hue, seaed upon large lump of
coal! His badge read "Old King
Coal"
He said, "Bill you wanted to make
me pay production tax.-No go. You
would make me keep my mines clean.
The air is good enough for the hunks
have digging coal. We don't want
any one who has ideas of his own.
We will do the linking and framing
Of bills. Our Representatives will do
the voting.-See!
We had supper at p. m. AS soon
as we saw the table, we knew Herb
Hoover had no put up here. All
kinds of "eats" including wild game of
every description. Squirrels are
Taylor George went out
before breakfast and killed eleven
squirrels on one tree with single
shot.
Great place for epicureans. Bill
Chiffon says he will take off his
shirt for Watson. This is doubtful
as we do not expect to return until
about Xmas.
Yours truly,
w. A. STREET