The Washington herald., 1918-02-25

! forlorn-hope dash. next Tuesday at
2:15 p. m."'
Brave fellows. the British" OBJ
| serves Jones. with the solemnity Of
| church, and his sentiment is reflected
on every face except Dingbat'3. who Is
too much shocked to have any express
sion.
It's rough that We don't get the
truth at home" Dooflab pours the
wine from the big fitting magnum
with a firm hand, though his face is
| still pasty. However. we're in this
thing. and we're in to stay, and.
by thunder. well do something.
We're overlooking the fact that our
fine husky United States soldiers are
ready to go into action. and hungry
for 1t! I've heard. on pretty high au-
thonty. that we have something like
100000 here now!
Five what" Agonized title Ding
bat violently plucks out one of the
six hairs of his mustache. rs that
what you're basing your hope on.
Now I'll tell you what 1 found out,
| and from a very high authority,
though / wouldn't repeat it except
here among friends. whom know and
can trust" His eye wavers with
merely a slight flicker OF dubiousness
toward the man who had come over
on another boat. The American
army in France consists of exactly
LAY men! And there isn't a bean to
feed 'em with! They have nothing but
tobacco! They were dumped out in
the freezing mud up near the front,
without arms. ammunition. clothing or
shelter. and there dying Of starvation
and exposure at the rate of 100 a day.
You can figure it for yourself. In
II IA days
Paris Papers.
And so it goes. Among the newly
arrived in Paris. rumor madIy fol-
lows rumor, each more wild, more
fantastic, more silly and absurd than
the one upon the heels Of which It
treads. The trouble is sudden prox-
unity. Those fresh from across the
raging sea approach Paris with the
feeling that now there in the midst
of the biggest thing that ever hap
pened in the world: and they expect
big things to start seething the min
ute they arrive. The big things don't.
and the Paris papers furnish very lit
tie excitement. The daily news is
,, usually printed on one small sheet,
about l6 inches by 2. and there's only
room, on the two sides, for advertise
ments, peppery letters from Old sub
scriber, and the cold, oare facts of
army operations: just the official COM
! munications, these last, which We get
back home. but without our pic
turesque amplifications by the festive
war correspondent.
The newly arrived American secs
that paper, and says he: All! The
censor! He is keeping back from me
the lurid descriptions with which at
home / sweetened my coffee What
else is the censor Withholding besides
the gaudy details to which am ac-
customed and to which l have an
inalienable right? Aha,
1t is then that he falls a prey to
the wild rumor and the hoarse
whisper.
These all emanate from one mysteri-
GUS source: and il the police ever
succeed in locating him, they'll swing
Mr.. High Authority from a lamppost,
for he is a German agent, either by
design or accident.
He must be a wondrous creature
this High Authority. whom no eye
hath heard.
He sits in some damp cellar. and
does nothing but read between the
lines until he is full of poison, where
upon he whets his stinger and sallies
forth.
Beneath the new arrivals tender
skin he inserts his subtle virus, and
instantly. violently. that new arrival
starts into ever widening circles. pop
eyed and yelping.
When the new arrival becomes a
seasoned dweller in Paris, when he
has been here long enough to discover
to his amazement that the sun still
rises in the east and sets in tine west,
and that night still succeeds the day
in unfailing alienation, he is immune
from the virus OF High Authority be-
cause he has been stung before, and
Is inoculated
By this time, moreover. ne has the
great big idea about this war which
he was all along trying to get, and
that big idea turns out to be plain
individual duty! so he tells the hoarse-
ly whispering confidant of High Au-
thority to go to hell, because he's busy
hustling potatoes out to the front-line
trenchesi
Buzxing Rumor Bug.
As for the Frenchman, he only
shrugs his shoulders at the buzzing of
the rumor bug.
He has no time for such feyerish
frivolity as the consideration of what
might possibly happen next Friday, II
something else, which never does.
might possibly happen on Thursday.
He's been busy with this war for
three and a half years, and he has
reduced its conduct to three cardinal
principles.
FIRST. 1t is the duty of the soldier
to go out and stand in the spot as
| signed to him, and, with the same
sublime courage of those who have
died for his cause and the cause of
France, which is the cause Of civiliza-
ton, fight until that sacred cause is
accomplished; SECOND, II is the duty
of the civilian, besides holding intact
the economic and domestic institutions
OF the country, to send the soldier to
the front, feed him there, keep him
clothed, put gun in his hand, and
supply that gun with endless bullets:
THIRD, 1t Is the duty of every pur-
veyor Of pessimism, every bearer of
depressing tales which might weaken
enthusiasm, every disseminator of
srotesquely terrifying mayDe-sos or
might-happens which would tend to
interfere with steadfast purpose, every
rumor-monger. in fact, to hand him
self over to the military authorities,
and be shot for the traitor which he
undoubtedly is!
It's a grand little idea, come to think
1t over, for any nation which is send
ing its sons to the war.
(Copyrght 1els)