davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Sore Trouble.

"Jaggs says he has no luck with his
four sons"
Whats the trouble?"
"One went blind, one went mad, an
other went to the bad, and the fourth
went to the legislature. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
WHY HATCH EARLY.

prepared by the United States De-
partment of Agricultural
Chickens hatched early In the
spring are large in the summer,
mature early in the fall, and lay
eggs in the winter. They Will
sit early the following spring,
produce earlier chlckens-and
the process will be repeated by
the offspring.
But the chickens hatched late
In the spring will not mature I'M
I'll late In the fall-so late that
they will not lay In the winter.
They will not sit until late In
the following spring-and again
the process will be repeated.
The Jury finds that the argu-
ment Is all In favor of early
hatchlng--especially this year.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Plunkville Society.

do you want a bit of society news?"
II gezzo."
"You know the lady you stated was
coming to visit me last week."
"Yes, madam"
"She's gone" Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Road 70 Failure.

Breeding for trotters is pretty good
road to a bad failure. Leave that to
men who are experts In the business.
Stick to good, all-round farm horses.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

To restore normal action to Liver,
Kidneys, Stomach and Bowels, take
Garfield Tea, the mild herb laxative.
All druggists.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Necessaries First.

"Why doesn't that poet have his
hair cut? I don't like this long-haired
affectation."
"You don't understand He has to
eat. He has something more import
ant to do with his money."-LouisVille
Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

"How is Hal getting on in his race
with his millionaire rival for the hand
of the pretty debutante?"
"Well, I saw them together the other
day, and judging from the view had,
Hal was holding his own" Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Won Her Over.

First Suffraget-So you succeeded
in convincing Mrs. Fickle?
Second Suffraget-Yes; | designed a
perfectly fetching campaign costume
and showed it to her.-Brooklyn Citi-
zen,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
II Won Him.

Frances-I'm afraid you don't like
my game Of bridge.
Francis-I am bound to like any
thing that costs me as much as that
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
One Look Enough.

Didn't you feel homesick some
times, Dennis?"
"Sure, but I used to look at your
photograph, and then I didn't feel
homesick anymore!"-Bystander.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

The colts should be taught good
stable manners when they are put into
the barn.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
New York Episode,

"You shouldn't wink at lady on a
street car That's bad FORM"
II know the lady. Packed as we are
it is my only means of offering a
greeting. I can't possibly lift my hat
or bow."-Louisville Courier-J Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Example.

"Wealth doesn't always bring happi-
ness" -.
"No," replied Cumrox, sometimes
its the means of landing him in tight
shoes and a high collar at an ice
cream party and making him perfectly
miserable"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

81 hear that Burrows has come in
for some money"
"Then he'll have to go out without
1t as far as l am concerned. Elk
change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
The Timid Dollar.

"I'm chagrined," complained the dollar,
when / get inside store;
For feel so small and futile
And embarrassed-since this war. "
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

Garfield Tea is Natures laxative and
blood purifier; II overcomes constipa-
tion and Its many attendant ailments,
ADV,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

"Maude could never stick her nose
in other peoples business without be.
ing found out"
"Why so?"
"She's got too much powder on it."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Proof Of Hunger.

Really, you should feed your hounds
more, Erother Johnson" mildly chided
the presiding elder. "They look half
starved"
"Aw, them dogs is nacher'ly lank,"
replied Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus
Ridge, Ark. II don't consider 'em
hungry till they begin to bite the
children. Kansas City Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

She-How is your youngest daughter
getting on with her music?
He-Splendidly! Her teacher says
she plays Mozart in way that Mozart
himself would never dream Of
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

"What do you think is the best test
of realism in play?"
"The real money they take in at the
box office. e."-Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Truly Modest.

He-Let's see, what is the slang
name for illicit liquor peddling?
She (blushing) Boot-limbing, I be-
lieve.-Farm Life.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

"Met your new neighbors, have you?
What kind Of people are they?"
Newly rich and sporty. They know
the parts Of an auto better than the
parts of speech"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

Spring drops in now and then to see
If the country is as green as it's paint
ed.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu-
late liver, bowels and stomach.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

The New Diet.
"Why is it that man always wants
to get up and spout after dinner. Is
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Grain Ration for colt.

The colt should have grain ration
during Its first winter.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Left Standing.

"Mrs. De Style got q shock today"
Shoot"
"She got on car followed by a
nurse maid carrying her baby, and
somebody gave the nurse maid seat"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

he training for speaker?"
"No, but he's been eating this new
dish of whale steak.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03

It takes Congress to settle a strike,
but an unruly stomach Is subdued by
Garfield Tea.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
Its Class.

Its Class.
"What is that list hanging up there"
ut Is a catalog Of articles not sub
ject to tariff duty"
"Then it ought to be the free list
suspended. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-05-03
whea, ses. for Eoos.

,ny poultrymen is con-
GNducing grain
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

institution. Great work has been done
in grading and bridge-building. Some
splendid permanent concrete bridge
have been constructed. La Libertad,
which is also reached by road from
San Vicente in the east central part or
the republic, is the seat of the cable
station between North and South Amer
lea, where messages are handled with
great dispatch. The roads leading
into La Libertad are much traversed
by oxcarts, as La Libertad is a great
port for San Salvador
The mountain scenery on the way
to Santa Tecla, 1850 feet above sea
level and but II miles from San SAB
vador, is inspiring. The great coast
range of mountains sends out giant
spurs and hogbacks to the very shores
of the Pacific, and between these lie
numerous watercOurses that run 10 the
sea. The region, of which the extinct
volcano, Quetzaltepeque, is magniss-
cent feature, is very mountainous ana
rugged and is intercepted by magnih-
cent and fertile valleys.
Santa Iecla, also known as NueVn
San Salvador, lies at the base Of the
mighty volcano San Salvador. 1t iS
connected by railroad and also by
fine avenue with the nearby capital;
it will be the most important city be-
tween San Salvador and La LibertaG
when the railroad spur to that port
has been constructed. The city is wes
Illuminated at night, has attractive
drives, fine public buildings, churches,
barracks, hospitals, beautiful rest
dences, villas, and suburban homes
and estates, magnifcently kept up,
with fine lawns and gardens and all
the appurtenances Of fashionable cOuB-
try homes. From social viewpoint
it is almost a part of San Salvador
The city has a population of about
1000 it owes its origin to an earth
quake which overwhelmed the capital
about two generations ago.
San Salvador Handsome City.
There is nothing of the dolce far
niente" type about San Salvador which,
with it's environs, has a population or
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03
loo amiliar.

A country hotel, a good deal fire.
quented by motorists, took in a show
man and his performing bear, and one
morning the bear escaped from the
stable. Everybody fled before the ami
NAL The hotel man, however, pur-
sued it courageously. 1t entered the
hotel, mounted the stairway, pushed
open a bedroom door and vanished.
The hotel man, close behind, heard
from the bedroom an angry exclama-
ton in a feminine voice and the
words: George. dear. how often have
/ forbidden you to come into my room
without knocying-and in your auto
mobile coat, tool"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

~L SALVADOR. the little repu5-
- lie on the southern coast of
Central America. is not behind
any part of the world i'm the
matter of the picturesque and the in
teresting. 1t has its natural phe
nomena, its beauty spots for tourists
that should be double starred in trav-
elers' guide books, its relics of ancient
races, its quaint and busy cities with
their artistic works of architecture,
writes Hamilton NJ. Wright in the Bull
letin of the Pan-American Union. In
the world there is not more wonder
full volcano than IzalcO, which, more
than four generations ago, assembled
from the plains and has since re-
NAMED active. There is not a more
wonderful lake in the world than Ilo-
pOngO, distant about ten miles from
San Salvador, the capital, and con-
nected with it by a splendid highway.
A fine national road which, at one
point, cuts the mountain side 800 feet
above the surface of the lake also
comes in from San Vicente.
HOpongO is an alluring spot for bath
ers, for the people of the republic
thoroughly appreciate the charms and
advantages of their own country. 1t
is the watering place for San Saliva
dor, with hotels, bath houses and
launches. The surrounding ridges and
mountains are beautiful and cOlOrful
and dip into the lake steeply. Viewing
this superb sheet of water, with the
nearby eminences verdure-clad or col
ored by past volcanic eruptiOns. with
drifting clouds casting their fleeing
shadows upon its surface. one has a
feeling that he is far from the haunts
Of man, until perchance his eye lights
upon a launch far below, sending its
ripples over the eXpanse of waters.
Fine Mountains and Climate.
There are in the world no finer
mountain peaks than those of Ell Sal
vador The volcanoes Santa Ana,
San Miguel, San Vicente, Usulutan,
ZatecOluca, and San Salvador. rising
from Santa Tecla, and half hundred
others have all the characteristic
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

the in he
in
But coudnt
to save
right in the middle OF its
baby caught
glanc stopped crying
gathered
bill
The mother frankly gratihed that
Of child until
and whispered
remar
and the understand
5nglv of IA Cafem adenO
all
mother snatche her
called
children when he walked the earth
"a
Ands themb
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

$4,000. With the exception of Pana-
ma City, San Salvador has more aU-
tomObiles than any other Central
American city. Moving pictures, too.
are popular in the capital and through
out the republic. The city attracts
by its beautiful, shaded parks with
their fine sculptured monuments, the
splendid national palace, the cathedral.
the National university and the Poly
technic institute
The cathedral presents perhaps
more the typical French renaissance
style than the typical cathedral In the
capitals Of the new world, though 10
is most ornate and beautiful work OF
architecture. Altogether San Saliva
dor hes distinct European note In
the air of its shops and stores. The
broad streets, fine cement curbs. the
ornate, lOw-Iying buildings with their
handsomely grilled and latticed win
dows, the beautiful, semitropical parks
with their luxuriant foliage and com
Portable seats, where the visitor may
watch the parade Of fashion and the
many cosmopolitan elements of the
city, engage in social chats, make new
acquaintance, and listen to nm excel
lently rendered concert-all these rem
der stay in the capital a pleasant
event.
Forty miles TO the northwest is San
ia Ana second city of the republic,
and rightly accounted one of the lead
ing cities of Central America. Santa
Ana will be the first important city 81
Salvador TO be reached by rail froIp
the north when the line to connect
with the Guatemalan systems is built.
The city has a population of betweeA
5000 and 10000 and an elevation OF
2.100 feet. II is a lively, prosperous.
welI-ordered community, with an air
Of assured stability, It's business
houses are many.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

beauty of the symmetrical volcanic
eInfnences elsewhere in Central Amer
lea. In the healthful uplands or noun
tain basins, where a larger part Of the
population lives, 1000 feet or more
above sea level, are TO be found tree
shaded cities and rich country dis
tricts that in charm and interest will
repay richly every moment the trav-
eler will spare them. The healthful
climate gives rise to a vigorous and
enterprising population. This little
country has a record Of having pro
duced 100000 pounds of coffee in a
single year. 1916, perhaps more in
earlier periods.
We did not stop long at La Union,
but continued from the port up the
coast to la Libertad, the nearest sea-
port to San Salvador. There we an
chored out in the open rOadstead, a
mile and One-half from shore, and took
coffee barge to the pier. where we
arranged for conveyance to San Sal
vador. 40 miles distant by automobile
read but less than 80 for mules. 1t is
a very short trip up to the capitol. but
the traveller beholds the varied re-
sources and climatic changes of an en-
tire continent within the brief journey
TO the uplands. This part Of the coast
is a center for Peruvian balsam, a
remedy for pulmonary complaints and
so called because in early days it was
first shipped from Salvador to Peru
before being recOnsigned in through
packets to Europe. The tree is found
over an extended strip up and down
the coast.
Highways Are Excellent.
The journey from Ia Libertad to
San Salvador is a fine one and the
road is good. In fact there are l.
500 miles of through national high
ways In the republic of Salvador. The
roads Of San Salvador are a national
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

Is gong to send that sub to the bottom and Blys ship laying
wall
spy If
shot to"
The woman who have
who masked
ihg against the fence with pekg her bandage
UP marched led
to
terrorized by
the
What oldasOned world be whs
children fOated
black o
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

subdeducon Inc most
mussy hing handled
filling return IKE hodn
nowhere compared to walking him up
and down the when he the collie
after ALL There's
a what 10 put down. you ea
onos+ions about the don't understand
oh you're ahead of YOU Goodoy' II only
4akeS fyem
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

If you don't believe it a trip to
the Legal building, Eighth and u
streets where women taxpayers
stand in line all day TO make their
income tax returns, would convince
you.
"Never knew women could be so
quiet" said a mere man. as he stood
there looking at the women in line.
why, you could hear pin drop.
You'd be quiet, too, if you had
TO keep your mind on one of these
blanks" smoke I'D a woman taxpayer.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03


other table in the same cafe. What
she saw was a lump of pink fat, blue
eyes, lot of dimples and exactly two
teeth-the combination perched on a
high chair beside a girl-mother who
was going through an afternoon
tea that began with three fried and
was to end with jelly frappe. The
baby obviously objected to oysters
allied to frappe, for he pounded the
table with pudgy fists. And for good
measure. he yelled and yelled. and
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

VVIlCI IIIOI HIHs, dIItT
night rain had washed the cObbles
and filed the gutter brim up with
fresh water and put gold-green leaves
on the bushes, it seemed an extra
NICE alley TO woman who was max
ing a short cut through it-but peO-
pie do make such ridiculous mistakes.
For it wasn't an alley at all. Three
boys who were floating toy boats
down the gutter explained:
This is the Atlantic ocean and
this IS the American navy NV do
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

have found that keeping the schools
omen for educational purposes has
resulted in speeding mp educational
work and lettering the standards OF
both pupils and teachers. Mr.. Thur
sion strongly urged that the District
schools be put under the quarterly
system. with small vacations between
the quarters. This system will speed
nm educational processes in Washing
ton Last year about 200 pupils were
accommodated in grade schools open
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03

ughoutthe city. Two hlsh SchooaS were
during une n Summer period of about six weeks An nm,
"pH OF the eu
now before money 70 permit Of the DISTRICT ny" anu s
carries ont o
AT ta successfully conducted Tor ehe pas sorts We're made
oeeh specia enoF's
The supern lnent sclool - ning IF ,n
10 increase ~ alyes
decided to go o fail and three scn0o n0 - -
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03
WASHINGTON Small Boy Just Now Much Disturbed

At the public District of Columbia should be kept open
Tor ] f schools Confirmed belief by the experiences OF
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03
Capital Claims Priority in Women Taxpayers

THAT taxpayers in proportion to its popua-
United States reports of the income
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03
Just the Adventures of Three Women and Baby

HE dressed KILN that armed with
which
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1918-05-03
World of "Fake-BeIieve" Affected by the War

WAshNGIoN-Ihere is an alley with
bushes shooung above the fences
lna open into back yards onp
Taiban Valley news., 1918-02-15
THE OIL GAME

We have heard and read SO
much about the oil business the
past twelve months, that only
a few months ago, the writer de.
cided he knew more about the
game than John d. Some OF
our friends thoughtso to.
And We have learned a righ
smart. 1t is a very uninterest-
ing game. 1t is SO deCeiving at
times. For instance when you
get oil, you DON'T. When you
arr rich, you amt. when you
get dividend, they turn to as
sessments, the only un6eceitful
part of the game we have found
is that when you fesl like you
are broke, you sure are
Miami Chief.
Taiban Valley news., 1918-02-15
Through the assistance Of the

+ Through the assistance of the
following ladies' from F, Sumner
a Branch of THE AMERICAN
RED CROSS was organized this
day; Mrs J.. 8. SeLegue Chair.
man of the Fort Sumner chapte,
Mrs W. H, Parker Vice. Chm.
Mrs Reed and Mrs Servis.
Prof. j. e. Owens opened the
meeting an2 Mrs SeLegue ex-
planned the working methods OF
the THE RED CROSS and pre-
sided over she n neetine UNI the
organization wascompltt d. Mrs.
Parker acted as temporary sec.
The following officers were elect
ed.
Mrs H. G Rowley Chairman
Mrs G. W. Jolly Vice. Chairman
J. M. Cheshire Secretary
N. A. Vaughter Treasurer
Reverend Self was elected an
additional :. ember of the exec.
tive committee to serve with tn
other executive officers
The following committees were
elected:
Membership, Mrs. w. T. Wade
Chm. Mrs c. L. Burns and Mrs
N. A. Vaughter
Supplies. Mrs Davies
Finance, Mesdames j. A. Gilbert
Mrs B 7. Robinson, j. f. Wise
knitting, Mrs Marshall who will |
appoint her assista nts.
Saving, Mrs Wade who will 90.
point her assistants.
In the absence of the Chairman
just elected Mrs Jolloy the v. |
Chm. took charge of the meeting
but no further bushes was ira
nsacted. The meeting adjourned
subject to the call os the Chair
man.
j. Nj. Cheshire
Secretary
Taiban Valley news., 1918-02-15
SHIP BUILDERS ARE
NEEDED AT ONCE
A CHANCE TO SERVE YOUR CouN-
TRY IF YOU ARE OVER 81.

a OhANCh ~ SERVE YOUR COuN-
TRY IF YOU ARE OVER 81,
The United States public SER
vice reserve has opened up en-
rollment headquarters at the
Cham Der of Commerce office on
Washington avenue where adult
males skilled in any trade or
profession can register for gov
eminent employment or fer en-
ployment with private concerns
engaged on government contract.
Secretary Earle p. Doyle, Of
the Chamber of Com nerce, has
been commissioned enrolment
agent fer Santa Fe county and
men desiring informa tion regard
ing the .public service reserve
are advised to Communicate i'm,
mediately with him.
At present the government is
in p 'rticular need of skilled la
Dor for shipbuilding, and exper-
fenced blacksmiths, carpentera,
machinists, painters, foundry
workers, plumbers, pipe filters,
ahd electrical workers are urged
to enroll immediately if they are
willing to assist the government
in this necessary work 1T the
highest rate OF pay.
Men who enroll are given q
certificate of membership in the
public service reserve and are
entitled to wear the honor but
ton of the service to indicate
that they have offered their SER
vices to the government in this
time of need.
Taiban Valley news., 1918-02-15
A CUCUMBER HINT

If one nasturtium seed is
planted in each hill of cucum .
bers that are planted early, it
will keep the bugs away
A farmer told me he had tried
this for years and never I'D
bug trouble his early tucum-
bers.
Taiban Valley news., 1918-02-15
WHO MADE THE KAISER

WHO MADE THE KAISER
Some people were made to be
soldiers,
But the Irish were made for
cops
Sauerkraut was made for the
Germans
And Spaghetta was made for
the wopps
Fish were made to drink water
Buns were made to drink
booze,
Banks we're made for money
And monev was made for the
Jews
Everything was maze for
something
Most everything but misers.
God made Wilson for Presi.
dent,
But who in the h'll made the
Kaiser?
Ev