The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-05-23

Buy your coal now, as the fuel ad-
ministrator advises, and then pray all
summer that the administrator will
not be succeeded by successor next
fall who will arrest you for boarding
COAL
"If something don't happen pretty
soon to make clothes cheaper" pessi-
unsteady opined Old Bill Misgivens,
my fourteen children will sure have
to fight with their backs to the wall"
A young blood who went into cafe
while visiting in coast city, pointed
to the first item on the menu and
asked the waiter to bring him some
of that. Sorry" said the waiter,
"but the orchestra is playing that"
A farmer drove to town recently
and sold beef hide for 10 cents
pound. Needing some harness he dis
covered that leather was worth about :
85 cents pound. He is still wonder
ing at the great spread in value.
q 4 z
An Indian had joined the army and
was asked how he liked army life.
TOO much salute--not enough shoot"
the Indian grunted. "Of course, you :
know what you are fighting for?" the
Indian was asked. make whole dam
world Democratic party" he replied. .
A motorist, accompanied by girl
friend, came very near crashing into :
he plate glass windows of one of our :
torres in town ths other day because :
lie put his foot on the "gas" instead :
# on the brake. And then the office E
'oet ground out this one: :
When driving with lady fair :
At any time of day, sir :
Re careful of your hands and feet
And don't accelerator. e
= 4 = IL
A couple of farmers were convers- :
ng about their periodical trips to
'ortland. "How is it that you no =
niger put up at the Stockman's ho- :
Ell when you go to MARKET" asked "a
ne. "Why, they are regular cheats"
eplied the other. Last winter when :
lodged there for the night they r
lade a great fuss and gave me big
ottle to take to bed with me, and
hen | opened it, what dye think it
as? Nothing but hot water" i
Backward, turn backward, 0 time in
our fight. Let me be drafted an
md me to fight; give me musket
: any old gun-hand me my war
ags an show me the Hun. | have
rown weary of holdin' my breath 4
ying to poster the kaiser to death i
cary of slackers an carpers an lies;
cary of watching the Wop till he
es; peace amt arrived at by babblers
: cranks-fetch on the tanks, brother
Itch on the tanks! Settin' at home in
good easy chair, scratchin' the dome
here they used to be hair, rubin
me dope on my rheumatic knees,
ishin' the kaiser would die of dis
se-then | start up, with a danger
Is glare, lucky for him that US fell
RS amt there Oh, fer corn knife,
-barrelled gun-land on the Hun,
on the Hun.
4
The eloquently appreciative words
lich follow are from the pen of
ench schoolgirl. They are quoted in
e Earth, organ of the Santa Fe rail-
adj:
1t was only a little river, almost
ook: it was called the User One
aid talk from one side to the other
thout raising ones voice, and the
DIS could fly over it with one sweep
their wings. And on the two banks
ere were millions of men, the one
med toward the other, eye to eye.
t the distance which separated them
S greater than the stars in the sky;
was the distance which separates
hit from injustice.
The ocean is so vast that the sea
lis do not dare to cross it. During
rem days and seven nights the great
of America, going at full
led, drive through the deep waters
ore the lighthouses of France come
o view; but from one side to the
er hearts are touching.