The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-06-22
Their ONLY CHANCE
Squaw Recognized Limitations Of
''Iron Horse"
A. Least Her Advice to Old Chief Was
Good, and Probably In the
End Runaway DID sect
Out Of Breath"
Funny as nm Indianf

Funny as an fndianf
Sounds queer, but those who heard
DIR. Charles Eastman, real Sioux.
speak at n recent dinner of fellow alum.
nj OF the Phi Deltn Theta fraternity.
know that an Indian hns true sense
OF humor.
Immaculate In n dress suit. Doctor
Eastman spoke slowly and with evil
dent relish OF his own felicitous choice
OF words. Listening brothers In the
bond of the fraternity almost Imng.
Ined they were braves themselves and
were seated around council nra
while the big chief said his say
Doctor Eastman urged Americas sol.
dIcrs to rush" the Huns In the
trenches and make "buffaloes' Of
them. The Germans Will get ont of
wind after n while, he said. and told
the following story In illustration OF
the point:
out on reservation In the far West
chief and his squaw decided To- buy an
automobile SO they left the village
ana went to town, where there was an
agency OF n certain popular make OF
automobile.
"Old woman" the chief said 10 his
wife, "let us buy one of the Iron
horses"
1--WE are old" reminded his squnw,
"and the Iron horse Is dangerous. See
the young bucks--mnny OF them lose
their lives riding the iron horses"
"Old woman" replied the chief. I'VE
are old and must die soon. Let us buy
nm iron horse, then we can die to.
Gether."
They went 10 the agency and were
met by smiling agent.
81 would buy mn iron horse" said
the old chief "ls II ensy 10 rider"
The salesman assured the chief
that anyone on earth could run one
"It Is lust ms simple ms this" he said.
explaining what few levers there were
to opcrnte
"Get In with me now" said the snlcs.
man. "nnd l viii take you around aud
show you"
81 will get In the front seat" de-
clnred the chief.
II will get In the back seat" snld
his old woman. "Whnt you don't see.
| will see"
Accordingly the party started. Soon
the chief was persuaded TO take the
wheel. Within an hour the purchaser
was persuaded that riding an iron
horse was not so difficult. after all.
Soon the agent han the money and
the chief had the automobile
"Now we will return 10 the village"
declared the chief. as he turned the
wheel and headed across the prairie.
Il was easy going. The chief clung
10 the wheel and me car performed
until they came within
sight OF the Indian village.
When the village saw the old chief
md his squnw riding across the innd-
'cape II went out TO meet them en-
nasse.
Braves jumped on their horses and
ode forth whooplng. Dogs barked n
Welcome.
The old chief got ratified.
Describing great sweep. the Lady.
,ug bore down on the chiefs tepec.
"Stop II. stop ltw screamed the
iqunw.
"How, how7" asked the chief,
'lutching the steering gear.
"'rurn turn :" yelled his old woman.
The chief turned, and they missed
he edge Of the tepec by an inch.
Around In n great circle the car
continued, with the entire village fol- |
owing after. "Whoo.eei" howled the !
'raves. "Bow-wOwr' went the dogs. /
The children screamed, the crows cnw.
n. all nature made noise. but the 4
uto chugged on.
Again the ear came around In
'lrcle, headed square for the wig. /
yam.
"Whnt shnll do?" asked the chief .
o0king back At his old woman.
"Glold 10 the relns Hold 10 the 4
elnsl" screamed the squaw. ut win
ct out of breath soon"