The weekly Alaska citizen., 1918-08-05

War ticket, please" said Miss Knudsen. War ticket?" in quired the man. Miss Knudsen show ed some tickets and explained the tax. Promptly the man dug up a dollar. Give me a string of them" ;" he said "I'm for the war strong even though I don't get here once a 
 THE ONLY A large number of BIRCH HILL people were attracted FAIRY by an awful racket
 at Blooms store-the oldtimers' conference.-the other day. Gee! what an awful commotion! !! Whats the row." People from all over the block hurried to the scene. One loud voice in particular was mo- oh, shucks! It turned out to be only Henry Burbank Han ford, the Birch Hill potato wizard, who held the floor with coal oil can full of new potatoes. new peas and other vegetables from his gar den! While he orated on the prospec. tive high price Of spuds this fall. TOWN HAS On clear days, Turn GASOLINE CT street. opposite the TWINS postoffice, looks like
 the corner Of Colum- bia and Second streets. Seattle regular curb stone blockade of auto for half a block.
 The two Bills-Handley and Evans have the bug bad. Whenever the latter finishes shaving a man he walks to the window to see if the car is still there and the former drives a few rivets in a stove and pauses to listen if his engine Is run ming. Evans jumps in every day and drives around to the postOffice for his mail while the sheet metal man conserves the time of the telephone girls by motoring around to the N. c. Co. to order his supplies. Each would never think of walking two blocks to and when Sunday comes-well if it rains there is a wailing and of teeth but when the sun shines everybody look out for the two Bills.
 A TRUE When one of the Citi- PARROT zen's circulators was STORY collecting the first of
 the month. he knock ed at the door of subscriber on Seventh avenue and voice cried, Hello! Come in!" He tried the door but it was locked. so he went around to the back door and knocked there. The same voice repeated: Hello! Come int" but that door was also locked. The boy hastened around to the front door again but still no admittance. He waited awhile, then tried it again and re- ceived the same invitation. But can't get in," he shouted. The voice was mumbling something and the lad peered in through the window and saw a parrot preening itself on a perch and looking wisely around. DOG The Tattler fails to ON see why the city THEM should be put to the
 expense of hiring a dog catcher when there is such an abundance of ability being wasted by the cOuncilmen.
 c. Harry Woodward has an express wagon automobile that would be a dandy Black Maria" for canines and he is a bookkeeper too and could keep an accurate account of the meals consumed by the imprisoned 
 Just picture Councilman Mcintosh jumping into his auto and racing up the street after Tom Marquam's Rexie. Louie Golden has an intimate with the "dogibus famil- ilusQue" Che sells Rex sausage) and could spend few hours between sales of split peas and linn burger to round up a few. Then think of the exercise our stout mayor would get if he got up at eight every morning and chased the stray dogs off his sidewalk. Gus Burglin could cook the dog feed, and Alderman Wilbur make the pana to feed them in.
 Of course they will have to laave the bird dogs and bull dogs for the sporting alderman. Promoter Sher- man." Just think what fine dog teams the young Wilburs and Sher- mans. and Woodwards and Burglins could have next winter. Yes. the city Is extravagent. Why should the council hire dog catcher when the aldermen have so much time to spare? We say make them earn their salary.
 ARE "No!" protested Ken IT MIGHT ny-George Kenny