The Denver star., 1918-03-23
Mr., SIMPkINs PAYS !
!; HIS INCOME TAX
y ROBERT MesLAIR.

Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor during the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First, he<
reverenced and adored the memory OF
his father; secondly. his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
70 to war himself. And as he observed
the martial Bearing and uncompromis-
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw.
In Imagination. the khaki-ciad lads OF
the new generation marching forth ana
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
light, maybe die. for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages Of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for salute.
But his gouty shoulder twinged. and hes
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
"Damn!" said Mr.. SImpkins, and
with his other hand fercely twirfd his
white mustachiOs. ~
He turned and iimped into the IL 4
brary and sat down creakily before the 7
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tnx state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpiIy got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000. and he
had been rather snappy on the sub.
ject OF taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income man has
the greater the percentage Of II i've
pays in taxes He could think OF sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar.
ried and had two children. and yet,
although their Incomes were nearly
half OF his, they would pay only .
small fraction OF the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling In the Information
that II asked for.
As Mr.. Simpklns' income was SIS. 600
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes of incomes In order to arrive
at the total due from himself He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes. TINT Is. single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ricd men then showed up as follows:
First. they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1916 law) on all income over
$4,000. deducting 500 for each of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr.
Slmpkins' cnye this was s2I2. which he
put down In the payable column.
He saw next that. under the 1917
law. married men pay nm additional 2
per cent on all over f2OOO-with the
snme allowance for children. This
added 1852 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
g 800 jump in his Income over 5000
he had to pay a Surtax, the percae 6Ee
growing, larger with each jump. 'TAis
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top Of all this came an 'Ex.
cess Profits" tax OF per cent. on all
Ing S72O more.
The total. then, he must pay waa.Aur-
teen hundred and thir.y-four dollarl-
"whew!" exclaimed Mr.. Simpkins
angrily. There's young Henry VIII
kins. who married Jake Johnson's girl.
he makes 81 200 and he doesn't pay q
cent Of taxes. guess this II his war
~ we'll as minel"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bnndages for
the Red Gross and that Henry, who
was q lawyer. was aiding the Local
Draft Board with Its questionnaircs.
"well." he admitted to himself,
shat makes a difference"
He thought next OF Judge wIllough-
ty, whose income was about 5000.
"He only pays $50" commented Mr..
S,mpkins. not quite no angriiy this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat up riRidly in his chair.
Judge willoughby's son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when Il was
subma rined with the loss Of two hun.
dred soldiers.
"Judge Wiiloughby gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly aud but
his face in his hands.
For . long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still In that position. There was
no sound In the library except the
ticking of the tall clock and an occa.
sionai trill of laughter from the chill.
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
Of light on the carpet gradually with.
drew itself through the window, and
first twilight and then darkness settled
in about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward p lax
of. he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into words.
But some inkling of his thoughts may
be found In his rejoinder to Mrs,
Simpkins when that placid lady came
in and turned on the lights, and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner
NYuduo Ull1ouuS,hrs. -.