South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-11-17

IN power: gratetul mat the post
Offices were not in jeopardy in the
recent election.
Some Of the girls in Mishawaka
are thinking there will be lots Of
matrimony when the boys come
home. Our notion is (and we hate
to put it into PRINT that there will
be many a soldier bringing back
hunky little chunk of animated. pal
plating. vociferating. gesticulating
parleyvoO in petticoats.
An Italian mission is coming over
with gifts for the president, New
York city and congress consisting of
rare and original goddess OF Column
bus, Amerigo, Vespuecix and Clio
vanni da Nerrazzano. If Italy had
thought it desirable TO include us
among The benefciaries a good sup
ply OF macaroni and sardines would
have been satisfactory, in view of
the times.
Our idea of hard luck is to be a
grape fruit grower with a bumper
crop during a season of sugar ra-
tioning.
Washington announces that re-
turning soldiers will have to pass
through government delousinG
plants. There seems to be a much
intenser form of pediculophobia in
this country than there was when
we were kid.
It is said 10000 soldiers in the
training camps of the country mar
ried while in training We suppose
. these boys were exceptionally in
earnest in wanting TO learn how 20
fight.
Germany is nevertheless ahead Of
the same, though it has lost the
whole world. if it has gained its own
soul.
We suppose the first thing the re-
turning Germans viii have to do
when they get back home is TO learn
not to steal.
The president will probably live
20 believe that republics might NOT
be so~proverbial ungrateful if there
were fewer republicans in them
The United Press peace flash was
a fash in a pan.
Germany's plan to divide the al
lies at the peace council table may
be further EN- barrassed by her fail
ure to get a seat at the council table.
While the Lord intended the Of
fees 20 be held by the democrats. It
was expected they would have the
yep to so to the polls and roll up
the necessary majorities.
Henry Ford was defeated by q
small majority. The conclusion is
irresistible His mistake was in not
pulling down both nominations.
When a multi-millionaire announces
that NJ won't put up a cent his only
show is 10 have all the nominations
and an injunction against indie
pendents.
Next to gold it is said paper can
be made thinner than any other sub
stance. We don't believe this. how
ever as we know of trouserseats that
have attained about half the thick
ness of India paper
If you were prudent enough to
save your umbrella cover when you
bought your latest dollar umbrella
for a dollar and a half your daugh-
ter can have a fashionable skirt, now
that the hobbies have come in
fashion again.
The two churchmen who invaded
our sanctum Tuesday night 10 ar
range a betting transaction on
whether Great Britain was going to
get the kaiser's head or not refused
to listen TO our counsel on the evil
of gambling. The bet was made. and
when we rendered our good offices
as stake holder both the elder and
vestryman manifested a lamentable
lack of speculative faith and disbe-
lief in our fidelity by refusing TO
hand over the guarantees into our
safe keeping.
We were all wrong about Lieut..
Glen Slick. When he wrote that Gen.
Pershing had told him the war
would be over by Christmas and that
, the general had said he would pay
/ for all the munitions used after that
date, Glen knew what he was talk
I ing about. If Glen will ask Gener-
alissimo Foch when the Mishawaka
boys are going TO get back and let
us know We'll invite him TO the
/ home coming celebration.
I The church bells now are ringing,
: The choirs will soon be singing
I The influenza is no more;
/ The preachers are rejoicing,
I The envelopes they'll soon be hoist
ing,
PAY UP, and don't weep sore!"
You owe for FIVE Sundays.
HARRY FOX IN
Il am Always Chasing RainbOws,"
and Il Wonder What They're Doing