Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1918-03-27
Mr.. SIMPkINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT McaIAlR.

on the wall till his eyes filled with
| tears. 1t was portrait NJ his father
| Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
| been promoted for valor during the
| Civil War and had died bravely on the
| field OF action. Mr.. Simpkins' throa,
| ached now for two reasons: First, he
reverenced and adored the memory OF
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
70 10 Wal himself And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw
| IN lmaglna ton. the KHAKI: clad lads Of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles Of sea to
hight. maybe die. for liberty
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither BeSs nor John (who
were at che teasing ages Of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him. then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for a salute.
But his equity shoulder twtnged, and he
groaned. he couldn't even salute.
Damn said Mr.. Simpkins, and
with his other hand dercely twirled his
white mustachios
He turned and Iimped into the H.
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which we're lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the SUBJ
1ect of taxes ever since be had discov-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage of it he
pays in taxes. he could think of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pay only a
small fraction Of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the information
that it asked for.
AS Mr.. Simpkins' income was $4,000
he had to figure ont the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes. that is, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000, deducting 5000 for each of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpkins' case this was 1912, which he
put down in the "payable' column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional Z
per cent. on all over $2,0OO-with the
same allowance for children. This
added 1882 to his "payabie' column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump in his income over $1,000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each Jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top Of all this came an "Ex-
cess Profits tax Of 8 per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, max
ing S72O more
The total, then, he must pay was four.
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whew!" exclaimed Mr. Simpk1ns
angrily There's young Henry VIII
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl.
he makes $4,000 and he doesn't pay 4
cent. of taxes. guess this is his war
as we'll as Miner
Thinking Of young Henry Wilkina,
he remembered that Mrs Wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was lawyer, was aiding the Local
Draft Board with it's questionnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself.
THAT makes a difference"
He thought next Of Judge Willough-
by, whose income was about $4,000,
He only pays $780," commented Mr..
Simpkins, not quite so angrily this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat up rigidly in his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when It was
summarized with the loss of two hum
bred soldiers
Judge Willoughby gave his SOD to
America" muttered Mr. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and nut
his face in his hands.
For a long time Nh. Simpkins sat
very still in that position. There was
no sound in the library except the
ticking Of the tall clock and an occa-
sional trill Of laughter from the chill
lren skylarking upstairs. The square
IF light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and
first twilight and then darkness settled
IN about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward speak
If, he was thinking things that were
100 sacred ever to be put into words.
But some inkling Of his thoughts may
3e found in his rejoinder to Mrs.
Simpkins when that placid lady came
n and turned on the lights, and asked
lin whether he was ready for dinner.
"Judge Willoughby's only son was