Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1918-01-28

Conservation Limited. They made a
mistake when they named that train,
They should call II the Conservation
Unlimited
II Is never my good fortune to be
hungry when there In plenty of food
In sight | never have what might be
called n good appetite until | get
where food Is expensive. | am alck
around home aid datbie in Luellas
cooking and make fun OF II and tell
her that her food would win tho war
Iif they only put 1t In the cannon aud
shot II at the Germans and | can peck
at II and nibble at IL and still fool
I fine and III, but Just Rs soon NJ | find
myself In IA place where II costs a dol
lar to borrow the walters pencil
I Immediately become SO weak from
/ hunger that | cave in like an old
/ fashioned feather bed from which vital
| contents have been removed. 'Phe time,
the place and the appetite never hap
pen psychologically or even fairly
| conveniently.
One OF the worst places 60 be sud
denly overpowered by hunger Js
aboard a train The good old days A.
the good 75-cent meal for So are gone
forever. or course the war may end
some time. actually. but It Will con
.
ing cars are concerned Nothing cap
stay IN style longer than a war except
\ a war portion. war portion doesn' [
know when II IL whipped
My wife Luella has a pleasant Nay
OF beating -the dining ears when she
IL travelling She patronlzes the train
butcher. She has lived on bananas,
figs and chocolate coWered nuts from
New York to San Diego. Cal. all
gained weight. But men don't have
stomachs like women
The sort OF food that a woman loves
and thrives upon is positively immoral.
Luella eats head lettuce salad for
breakfast and her idea OF hearty
lunch In Il dill pickle and IA chocolate
eclair. Food conservation is hitting
the men much harder than the wom-
en-. Nothing that women eat is ever
put under the ban. because women
don't eat regular food. The food that
Luella eats Ia absolutely devoid OF
calorles, heat units. fats, kilowats,
horsepower or maximum cylinder ex-
lpansion. Therefore she can open nA-
gotiations with kind-faced train
butcher and live comfortably upG1
cough drops. peanut brittle. cracker
Jack and anemic oranges until she
reaches her destination, no matter
how far distant her destination may
be.
But have got TO have regular food
I'm "A tough guy, believe me. have
grazed over every foot OF the territory
between sunkissed metropolis To the
Pacifist's ocean. I'm dining cars, and
know half the walters by their first
names. The last time out | landed ip
the dining car MISUNDERSTANDING. "
/ had patronized II before the war and
remembered Basil. the saddest ser
vitor have ever met. Basil is o~a
of those weeping willows which one
finds occasionally In the Senagambian
race A morose colored man Is the
morose- est thing In the world.
So when Basil beckoned me to a
table and wiped tear from his ey@
1 took II as an. omen Of gloom. He
handed me the menu and looked the
other way while l scanned the price
Z. list. He would have blushed III Id
COULD
what has happened, to the bill-of
fare, Basil 2" asked.
"Ah don't rightly know. sah." he
replied, shifting from one foot To an
other In his embarrassment. but ~
lreckons as II has been Hoovem1ed
sab. on account de wah. yassah, de
wah. It's pow'ful procrastinatin
wah. sab, yassah."
! "But Is this railroad aiming to win
the war single-handed and alone"
"Ah don't rightly know. sab. he
replied, but de perpumdlcular prices
Ia due to the food conyahsation, yas'
sab. Food convahsatlon jes' seems u
be natural stimulant to prices. sab. :
But" insisted. when they reduct
1.-The size OF portions, why do they also
raise the price. Wouldn't one bt
lenough, without the other7"
'Ef All could answer questions like
that, sah-ef All could figgah out
things like that. All wouldn't b'