Catoctin clarion., 1918-03-21
MR. SiMPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
ev ROBERT MeBLAIR.

Civil War and had died bravery OH the
field of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: FIRST, he
reyerenced and adored the memory OF
his father; secondly, his age ana MS
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let MN
70 to WIZ himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
in Imagination, the KHAKI! clad lads or
the new generation marching forth anu
crossing three thousand miles or sea 10
fight, maybe die, for liberty.
Mr. Simpl IS peered around to make
sure that ne, .,her Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages OF sixteen
and seventeen) were where they couid
see him, then he Strengthened ana
threw his right arm up for salute
But his gouty shoulder twinged, and he
groaned, He couldn't even salute.
"Damn!" said Mr. Slmpkins. and
with his other hand fercely twirled his
white mustachiOs.
He turned and limped into the Il.
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve'
nue. officer only that day after lunch-
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins income for 1917 hah
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the SUD-
ject of taxes ever since he had disfoN-
cred that the more income man has
the greater the percentage OF II he
paws in taxes. He could think OF sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half Of his, they would pay only
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling In the Information
that 1t asked for.
AS Mr.. Simpkins' Income was $4,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes of incomes In order TO arrive
at the total due from himself. lie
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes, that is, single men making
over 1000 His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay per cent. (under
the 1915 law) on all income over
$4,000 deducting 5000 for each OF their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpkns' case this was $212, which he
u,,o Low
He saw next that, under the 1917
law. ma rried men pay an additional
per cent on oil over $2,00O-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $252 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump in his income over $1,000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top Of all this came an "EX-
cess Profits" tax Of 8 per cent. on all
"occupa tion" income over $4,000, max
ing $720 more
The total, then. he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whew T! exclaimed Mr. Simpkns
angrily. "There's young Henry Will
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay
cent. of taxes. guess this is his war
as we'll as mine"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was lawyer, was aiding the Local
Draft Board with its questlonnaires.
"Well," he admitted to. himself,
THAT makes a difference"
He thought next of Judge Willough.
by, whose income was about $4,000,
"He only pays 500" commented Mr..
Simpkins, not quite so .angrily this
time and then a thought struck him
and he sat up rigidly in his chair.
Judge Wilioughbys son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when 1t was
summarized with the loss OF two hun
dred soldiers.
Judge Willoughby gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and put
his face in his hands.
For long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still In that position. There was
no sound in the library except the
ticking of the tall clock and an Occa-
siOnal trill of laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
of light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and
.ln, ,ly,, lad
in about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascible old man.
Mr. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward speak
of, he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into words
But some inkllng of his thoughts may
be found In his rejOinder to Mrs
Simpkins when that placid lad! came
in and turned or the lights, and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner
Judge Willoughby's only son was
worth as much as fourteen hundred
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't he?
Mr.. Simpkins demanded of her.
AS his wife, who was not unused to
his superficial irrltations, watched him
in mild astonishment, Mr.. Simpkins
limped out to the hall and took his
old felt hat and silver-headed cane
from the hat rack. Letting himself out
into the foggy evening, he tapped his
way down to the corner. and mailed his
income tax statement and check with
his own hands.
"Now God be thanked" said Mr..
Sinpkins as the lid clanked shut over
his mssive, 81 can do this much for
my country. ANYHOW