davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
WOULD HAVE HIM TOE LINE
Small Boys Advice to Beloved Teacher
az to the Treatment of Her
Future Husband.

Their teacher was about to be
married-at least she was engaged
and the children of her room
thought it was only proper that they
should say something to her about it.
'Iet's congratulate her," volun-
teered one of the boys.
"That's nothing to be congrdtu-
lated over" said the girls, who were
still young. This statement almost
split the committee, but they were
spurred on only by common charge
which must be well done, and in a
unified manner.
The suggestions came on, but none
of them met the approval of the dele
cation as a whole.
"All right, then" decided the lead
er of the boys, "we'll each go up and
say what we think we ought to say"
So they did. Many embarrassing
moments followed for the young
teacher. But the worst of the worst
was perpetrated by small, bashful
boy.
"Miss JONES'" he began, "Miss
Jones-I have come-I-well, Miss
Jones-I-I only hope you teach
your husband as much as you have
taught me. And Miss Jones, keep
him in from recess if he acts up"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
SKILLET ROUTE TO ARMY.

This is the plant of "patent
food baby" as he called himself,
who couldn't go to war until he
learned to cook. 1t may sound like
an attempt at humor. 1t is not. 1t
is a pathetic story heard in New
York cafe. There were six around
the table. One was complaining Bit
terly of being caught in the draft.
"Draft, nothing" broke in our hero.
II was brought up REGULAR patent
baby food, certified milk and Sun
day school. I'm handy. and l fig
gered l was good guy for the
army. That was year ago. l tried
for all jobs from a general to a mas
cot, but they stuck at my off eye. So
I learned to cook, and now Pm GO
ing. It's tough" he concluded,
"when mans got to learn to cook
to go to war"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
WITH BABY AS DRILLMASTER
Company Went Through Exercises
That Never Figured in Any Rec
ognized Manual of Arms

The company was out at one edge
Of the military reservation, doing
setting-up exercises. The officers had
been putting the men. through their
PAGES, when the son of one of the
camps higher officers, a fugitive
from the nurse, wandered to the
field. He toddled right up to the
man in khaki who was giving the
drills, and saluted in his baby way.
"Ncw let me-" he said, and for
once military discipline was broken.
for the officer was going to amuse
his men, and see just what the child
would do.
CAV wight, now" he began.
"What's two times two?"
The soldiers gasped. Here was a
new setting-up exercise.
"Fourw shouted the new instruc-
tor before any of the men could an
swer,
So the questions came on, and the
little boy even led the company in
short jumping-swinging exercise
which none of them had ever been
through since babyhood. The COM
pany was beginning to wonder when
the boy would stop, and how.
The baby happened to look up over
the hill Yes, there came his nurse,
ard after him, tool
"Tenshun, now" commanded the
young general quickly. "Tenshun,
there. Aw wight, you have been
dood, SO you can have your recess"
And he started to hike as fast as
he could for the nearest road out of
the grounds.-Indianapolis News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
TRIED OUT IN BATTLES HEAT
Fighting Reveals the Good and Bad
Qualities Of Officers as Nothing
Else Can Do.

Participation in engagements in
the baptism of fire proves the worth
of men, according to the Stars and
Stripes, the official newspaper of the
American expeditionary forces,
printed in France.
"a regiment that delivered some
of the most smashing blows at Cha
teau Thierry," says an editorial,
"came out of the battle with new
ideas as to who were the best among
its leaders.
"The men swear now by captain
they had all cursed for his severity in
the tedious days of training, and a
captain who, in those days, was a
genial, easy-going favorite is a ia
vorite no longer.
zone grim sergeant, whose name
used to be a kissing and byword
among the privates he afflicted, is
the hero of his company today. One
fussy, prim, old-time noncom, whom
the contemptuous bucks of later
vintage used to call Granny is only
a memory-the memory of soldier
who fought like the very devil and
who died magnifcently.
"You can never tell. Battle was
and is now the acid test of the SOL
der. Until the test has been passed
we do not know our fellows. We do
not know ourselves"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
PABAFFIN WAX OF BENEr"
uas seen Found to Possess Va'uAO''
Curative Properties In the 're~T
ment of rheumatism

About seven years ago rheumatic
subjects took some interest IN Ine ~ 70
ported discovery by q Frenehmah o.
The curative effects of bathing IN
liquid paraffin wax, according p"
London Tit-Bits. ,
W. L. Ingle, head Of firm q, OF
tanners and curriers' at Churchili,
near Leeds, who make much use OIL
the wax in their business, had an ex-
detrimental bath installed at the
firms works, where many hundreds
of cases have been treated, usually
with good results, This bath ana
the one in Paris are believed to have
been the only ones in existence.
Now, on Mr.. Ingle's SUGGESTION
the bath at Churchill has been trans
ferred to the Beckett's Park Military
hospital, where patients have been
treated at the rate of 400 a week IL
has been found that the bath not
only relieves pain, but gives IN
creased flexibility to an injured limo'
and so facilitates the further cura-
tive process of massage.
A paraffin wax bath is not, per
haps, so odd as it sounds. The word
"bath" is primarily defined as "the
act of subjecting the body or par'
of the body for purposes Of cleanll'
/. ness, health or comfort, to the &C.
ton of water, steam, hot air, mud
or the like"
Mud baths are a pretty ancient in
stitution and even the primeval crea
lures wallowing in the slime MAJ
have done so on medical grounds
just as dogs are supposed to ca
grass at times in their own interests
Something very like a mud batl
may be had at Harrogate, with pea
as the prime constituent Of the mud
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
HOW STARS ACQUIRE HEAT
Dust Must Constantly Be Added or
Temperature VIII Turn and
Decline.

1t is simple matter to explain
how stars acquire their heat. The
particles of nebula, although in
dividually cold, usually possess con-
siderable motion. While they are in
free and gaseous state, collisions
between particles are rare, but when
this same matter is gathered into a
star, the particles clash together and
rebound, thus setting up all manner
of vibrations. a small body radiates
freely, but as it becomes larger its
surface becomes relatively smaller
and smaller, and it can give up heat
lass freely, while al the same time
its temperature rises approximately
to the sum of the heat locked in each
of its separate particles. a star con-
tinues to grow hotter and hotter, as
long as material is being added to it.
Not until there is no more star dust
to be found does its temperature
turn and decline.
Fierce heat appears to resolve all
elements into simpler ones, of which
the most common is helium. The
temperature of the Orion stars is
well above $4,000 degrees. The hot
test electric furnace on earth is
only soout 5000 degrees, and the
gun itself about 5000 degrees. As
these intensely heated stars cool, the
elements with which we are familiar
appear in definite order.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
LIBERTY LOAN SLOGANS.

"Buy and Keep Liberty Bonds"
"Own and Keep Liberty Bonds"
"Buy Bonds TIL You're Happy"
assure Victory-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
promote World Freedom-Buy Lib
erty Bonds"
"Hallow Your Dollars-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
Dedicate Your Money-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
"Your Solemn Duty-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
"If, of Liberty You're Fond, Prove
It-Buy Bond"
Back With Cash the Khaki-clad
Crusaders"
"For Freedoms Sake-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
"Share In victory-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
"Buy Bonds and Bonds and Bonds"
"Consecrats Your Cash-Buy
Bonds"
"A Little Money saved each week
will buy the Bonds you ought to seek"
Invest in victory-Buy Liberty
Bonds"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
EQUAL TO THE OCCASION.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-I read in the
paper that Madagascar fishermen
sprinkle substance on rivers and
lakes which paralyzes the fish and
causes their bodies to rise, when
they are caught by hand. Did you
ever hear of that, Johnp
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Oh, yes, in
deed. Don't you remember when 1
go fishing l always take along big,
black bottle? Well, that's the para
lying stuff.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
CHANCE TO GET BUSY.

"Why amt you working2"
"I'm looking for something to
turn up"
''Well, here's a field of fine soil,
just the thing to turn up. And
here's spade to turn it WITH
Louisville CourierJournal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
MUSIC FOR ANIMALS.

Sergeant-The musical acuteness
of horses is shown by the rapidity
with which cavalry horses learn the
significance of trumpet calls.
Corporal-The same applies to
mules, too. You ought to see and
hear 'em kick when reveille is sound
ed in the morning.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
HAD EXPERIENCE.

Willis-They gave Bump a medal
for tapping the German trenches
telegraph wires and securing valu-
able information.
Gillis-I'm not surprised. He was
the best listener we had on our party
line out at Suburbanville.-Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
HEARD AT THE eRocER's.

"Half of those eggs you sold me
were bad, and you said you'd make
'em good"
did you bring the bad ones in,
madam ?"
"Why, no."
"Well, do you expect me to give
them absent treatment"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
CONSERVE IN YEAST MAKING

Because the stopping of the dis
tilleries in Norway has caused a
shortage of yeast, a company has
been formed to manufacture yeast
by new process that is said to use
no grain as raw material.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
THE oNLYFEAR.

"Do you think the Hun policy of
frightfulness' has made anybody
afraid"
eyes," replied Miss Cayenne.
''There is no installing the fact that
it has made millions afraid they
won't have a chance to get into the
fighting"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23

Observation-Disclosures! / wish l
was born to founder around in cool
water all day long.
Hippopotamus-Cool water2 Pm
SO hot-Dlooded that this little tank
they give me is up to boiling more
than half the time.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
iiOTTE2,

1--WE great scheme to offset that
German mustard gas"
"What is it?"
"Get up tabasco sauce gas"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23

"Going to look for another job?"
"I'll have to. The funerals l got
off to attend last summer have given
the boss an idea that all my relatives
are dead"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1918-08-23
"Where is the FIRE."

TT seems like small thing to ask of the
operator-but what does it mean?
Possibly, at the same moment, hundreds
are asking the same question and from the
way the signal lamps the switchboard
glow one might say that the switchboard
was on fire.
1t requires as much time, as much use of
the operators service and telephone equip
ment to answer such call as it does to
establish ordinary connection, and calls
made at such critical times may delay the
really important cal's-cas for d~ctcrs
police and other emergency necessities
for the operator cannot distinguish the calls
of curious nature from important ones
Now as never before, all telephone faci-
ties must be available to carry forward the
really important business which is pre-
sented every hour Please make only the
necessary calls and help us as we strive to
serve.
@ tI s:::': y
c. IN
n.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
REPORTS MARY CASES OF RHEU
 MATiSM CURED
says We Must Keep Feet Dry, Avoid Exposure and Eat
 Less Meat.

A well-known downtown druggist, reports heavy sale on the prescrip- tlon c-2223 for the relief and cure of lne worst forms of rheumatism. By erybocy who suffers from rheuma- tlsm should keep off the damp ground, keep the feet dry, drink lots or pure water and take a daily dose Or Prescription C-2223 to keep down ana eNpel the uric acid from the blood. Those terrible aches and rams, swollen muscles, aching back ana every form of rheumatism can be easily cured by following the few slmple directions on every bottle of <v'zz23. So many remarkable cures nave been made by this wonderful prescription that any of our. readers Who suffer are urged and advised to "oas ask any druggist for Prescription o'zz25 and take it as directed on the prescription pasted oa each bottle.
 Advt.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
ppll.GfRMAN INFLUENCES DRIVEN PINE BLUFF
 FROM DOING ITS DUTY
1rontinled from page one.)

-----------~- - -
 ,onts that will protect them nose'fbb ,be worst forms of disease. let fro'H 'm ao lover there' strong, clean tbeih and nd bring them back-if they men, ~ German shells and bullets ese"ps l"on as when they departed, and as as, mel men for whose sins their chll- drcn iI will suffer. ,,.
 a.o plnA has been legarthic. rlne ro is no denying that fact. Wheth- 1ne,t .h;e attitude has been due to pro CT ,,an .n influences or just to selfish oe. .ar is ilnmaterial. The result is the nes@ s,o If every other community saln' Sl,n the funds necessary to accom- la., ,..s the Inc work will not be available: pll'r n,ovement fails. and "the boy next ,ie ,norn @ or maybe, your own boy, will ,'uo aout none watching for him when he ,.svps ps the camp where his command is piiartered: ,o,. ~, ,o,,
 than the #Prussian barbarians. a,. ,ad # is to combat this disease that .ha .,e' fund is being raised. The methods .o u'' he employed include detection and .O.,ot;on .o of diseased prostitutes .so, D,0ndostine as we'll as public, clinics for f. the benefit of soldiers. and the nro,sion nv of entertainment that will h,v 1ossen the boys tendency to seek di- rorsion in unwholesome environments and manner
 " Are you going to help, or are you coino to let the boy go his way un- aided @ and thus thru your neglect in- inre m the boy and help the kaiser? ' IT. ;c 1n tO YOU!
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
READING PAYS. HIGH
 TRIBUTE TO WILSON
Briton Says President Best Express scs True Nature of Ideals
 of Allies.

New York; March "A high trib- ute to President Wilson vas paid by Earl Reading, Great Britain's special ambassador to the United States in an address here today in the presence of 1900 members of the merchants association which gave ! luncheon at which he was the guest of honor.
 Asserting that he doubted whether it was realized in Europe how signal was the moral force in this country in the prosecution of war for liberty and "a high moral elevation for hu- manity," Earl Reading declared oi the president that "No human being had the faculty of stating in better language the true naure of three ideals than your president who speaks for you We Enow that the words spoken by our president are words upon which"we can build. They are messages of hope and com fort to us"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

tually .he form it passed the senate. The principal dispute between the conferees was on rate fixing. Un- der the house draft the president was given complete power to fix ra tes, while the senate left the power with the interstatc commerce com mission. Failing 10 compose their differences, the conferees today adopted comprcmise agreement, drafted by Senator Robinson of Ar kansas, under which the president is authorized to initiate rates subject to review by the commission. In de termining the fairness of the rate, the commission is required to take carriers are being operated under into consideration the fact that the unified control and that such read iustments in rates as are proposed are for the purpose Of obtainln5 adj ditional revenues.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

him. to acquire by purchase or fitfe the great piers of the Hambure- American and the North German Lloyd steamship lines at li"hGhen. &. !.
 In q statement tonight czpla.njao the purpose of t}r .lau power snae.tz. A. Mitchell l.ahuer, the alIa proH. 'crty cus todian, sail:
 Power under the law is restricted now to cases where il i4 necessary to sell ill order to proven Hc5te and protect property, Tha proposed amendments will largely cNlaud this power, and make it possible for JIJe alien Groncrly custodian lC convera into ca h enemy interest III th5# country"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
CONffREES AGREE
 ON RAILROAD BILL:
 HOUSE MAY DELAY
Expect to Have Ready For Signature by Saturday
 If Not Blocked.

Washington, March Final agreement on the administration bill to govern federal control of the rail roads was reached today by senate and house conferees.
 Leaders hope tonight to have the measure ready for the president $ signature by Saturday, altho this plan may be upset by opposition in the house to the rate making section gig ing the interstate commerce commits sion power to review rates after their initiation by the president.
 With the exception of limiting fed eral control to 21 months after peace is declared and providing for the talk ing over of short line railroads, the bill, as finally agreed upon, is vir-
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
SENATE MEMBERS
 FAVOR SALE OF
 ENEMY PROPERTY
Appropriations Committed $ Report Would Give Con
 trOl to Americans.

Washington, March LcSislation enabling the gevefnIaeat tc place ia American hands pel manently great German commercial and industrial concerns in this eanntry which have meen instruments ill spreading t2e grip of German i<ultur Was faNorablN reported to the senate today i.N the appropriations cOmnlitte2. lt is m the form oi an amendment to the i'm pending urgent deficiency bill cm- towering the alien property cMstOdi- an to sell any enemy property taken over by his office.
 The committee alsa approved an- other amendment giving the prcsi- dent authority, recently asked for by
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
ITALIAN PRESENTS
 BLANKET CHAPt$E'

Washington, March r GAaree4 in Rome by Senator Marcoui that there have been scandals and lffeealafit- ios in connection with purchases for tie Italian government in this coun- try have drawn a request by cable from Francesca Quattrone, member of the Italian mission here, that the senator be specific in his statements instead of reficcting on all officials concerned in such purchases.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
ST. LOUIS SHOWS OTHERS HAVE MORE
 GERMAN CITIZENS

St. Louis, March 7.-The Chamber of Commerce, with view to disproving statements that St. Louis isa Germ an city, today forwarded to author ities in Washington the result of an Investigation which it has made of the percentage of foreign born per sons in each of the large cities of the United States. These figures show St. Louis has 18 per cent for eign born, and is seva,atls in. the list of those cities having the largest for eign population born in Germany.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
cURTAII. OUTPUT
 PASSENGER AUTOS
 90 PCT. THIS YEAR

New Yerk. March 7.-Pro1uc.ioa Of olpasure automobiles will le cut 30 yer cent during the present fiscal year as a measure of war, accofdins to a decision reached here today by the Natoinal Automobile Chamber of Commerce. The reduction applie-I to the entire incomplete schedule for the year.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

Net content with having her brother self taking active part in Red Cross work, Mrs. Josephine Hickey of Cleveland has offered herself to her country as a telephone operator with the army in France.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

Women employed as chief operators with the United States Army Tele- phone Unit in France will rective a salary of $125 month, together with the rations and quarters accorded to army nurses.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
in adjournment nj ln firnn -n

Sponsored by inc University of Paris Mile Mafgutrite Clement, a teacher in the women's college at Ver- sallas and one of the first speakers for woman suffrage in France, has como to the United States to promote a wider knowledge Of French Iitera- tue and to pave the way for better French teachers in American colleges and schools.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08
OPPOSE FRAMING NEW
 CONSTlTl0N IN 1918
Sentiment for Further Postponement of Convention Growing, Say
 Several Delegates.

Little Rock, March 7.-Sentiment for further postpon ament of the constitutional convention IS growing thruout the state. Several delegates who were in Little Rock today stated that they would follow the wishes of their constituents, and vote to ad iourn when the convention reconven- pd in July.
 The delegates favoring adjournment claim that the present is no time to frame a new constitution for the state, aad that conditions may change com pJetriy hcfore the end of the wal.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

Harriet Prescott Spofford, one of the oldest of American women authors of prominence, will enter upon her S4th year next month.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1918-03-08

Women comprise more than 80 per cent of all the teachers employed ir the common schools of the United States,
Evening journal., 1918-07-25
BY FRED 5. FERGUSON,

United Press STAFF Correspondent.
WITH THE AMERICAN ARMIES IN
FRANCE. July $50 a. m.).-Fere-En-
Tardenois is under fire from Franco
American artillery. and is being heavily
bombed by Allied aviators. The bonn
bardment is seriously interfering with
the movement OF enemy troops and
material.
fFere-En-Tardenoi Is the most i'm
portant railway and highway center
within the Soissons-Rheims salient. It
is ten miles north and slightly east Of
Chateau-Thierry. The Allied lines are
less than five miles to the west and
only a little more than that 10 the
south.)
Heavy fighting is under way to clear
Riz Forest northeast of Jaulgonnel
following the capture Of its southern
end. during which additional guns and
prisoners were taken.
The bridgehead at Jaulgonne has
been enlarged sppreciably. French and
American troops are advancing there
despite sharp rear guard actions.
While the Americans continue e
progress east OF Epieds and north OF
Julgonne the Germans are leaving be
hind them In evacuated villages telltalt
evidences OF conditions In Germany
The Boches in the rich Marne valley
were endeavoring TO aid their families
at home when the Allies struck. Tit
Americans found everywhere parce
post packages which the Boches haC
no chance TO forward. They contained
wheat, leather. children's shoes. seats
and backs OF chairs, etc.
i oftorc t.-rfffas. l,x fo1Ec Of bovna ~
enemy soldiers. who later were taker
prisoner, declared conditions are sucf
that something must happen" Civil.
ians are now allowed only 200 gram:
of meat week.
One Boche came in with a tag on his
arm whifh had been attached by his
captors. It read:
This prisoner gave water 10 Amer
lean wounded"
In addition to white bread the. Ger
man was given a can Of ''bully beef.
He said this ration would serve six
men in the German army. As a reward
for giving water TO American wounded,
the Boohe and his comrades were given
twenty packs Of cigarettes.
The ene beyond Epieds. yesterday
afternoon was the scene Of heavy flght-
ing, consisting mostly Of cleaning up
villages and machine gun nests
! passed a battery Of our heavy ar
tlllery which was firing while standing
boldly IN the open yesterday. A signal
eefps man was strinTing wire.
Yves been chasing the damn artil-
lery for two days and just caught
them" he said we worked day snc
night, but just as we would get the
wire within reach Of them new order;
would come along for them to move or