Evening star., 1918-04-14
The OTHER ANGLE
Proud Patches.
BY KIRK MILLER.

While Secretary McAdoo is buster than
porcupine with ingrowing quills max
ing sthe third liberty loan acute and
keeping that hour of daylight from
catching up with his trains. he has
found time to peel off a wrapper of
philosophy which would do to paste in
your hat or on your automobile wind
shield.
Mr.. McAdoo's message to the gentle
men of North Carolina is to wear
patches and win the war, and he doesn't
believe it should be long time between
half-soled shoes or anything. In our
own vernacular we should say he said
an earful-for bird who is too proud
to wear patches is entirely too naughty
to live on this war-spangled earth, and
would probably be glad to see the war
prove a fat failure because 1t interferes
with his ukelele lessons.
HoWSomever, patches are to be a part
and parcel of this regatta, and 1t doesn't
make any difference whether you wear
'em three-cornered or on the bias. A
patch is patch, whether it's on your
overalls or elbows. and every patch
tapping languidly in the American ter
rain is signal to Germans that they
have twisted themselves into a terrible
morsel of nacaroni.
Now that it's fully decided that the
kaiser is an awful sample of cheese we
don't think we'll buy any, for IL the
legitimate order is anything like the
sample they'll have to revamp the
welsh rarebits and ring-tum- -didies or
whatever disguise those Hawaiian
dishes are wearing this summer
We could render brilliant summing
up Of the kaiser If somebody would
furnish the words, as all our words
are too good to waste on him, and the
English language hasn't got any to fit
him. Only trouble is our summing up
would sound more like subtraction, and
were too busy letting rearv to subtract
him from his future. Easily!
Getting back to the patches. though,
we're serious about 'em. While Nat
Wills was alive he was supposed to be
patch connoiseur of the universe, and
when he licked off the l. W. WIS and
bullshivik fell heir to the diadem.
Wills could wear more patches to the
knees. which proves that he was
good American, according to the Nc
Adoo prescription.
Half-soled shoes. half-soled hats and
n1ended umbrellas have got to be taken
In habit-forming quantities SO that the
soldier boys will not suffer. If we're
going to quarantine the fighters against
undernourishme and exposure to the
those funny little short-tailed coats we
wore before we met the wife and hoped
shed never see.
Dig up in the old attic and unravel
those shoes you gave to the servant
to give to the policeman. They've got
leather in 'em which Is every reason
why they should be locked up in the
safe instead of being left around with
the papier-mache kicks for which we
now drag ourselves away from a ro-
bust bank roll.
An attic is a naive institution and
can hold more than a magician's high
hat You've got some chance of solv-
ing the mystery of what is in hash, but
attics are very coquettish In letting
you know what they conceal. Perhaps
If you probe around in your loft you'll
skirts which you can half sole and
thereby save that yard of suiting that
you would ordinarily have purchased
for your spring golfing smock. Or is
a yard too much?