davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1918-07-28

when you cut your finger you discover
that In spite. OF all your royalty and
pride Of line your blood 10 not blu4
at all. but just plain red. like that of
horse, or the yoksl who blacked your
At never had the honor of theif ac-
Quatntance." said Louis haughtily. !:
Be that az i may. Y is sorhething
Take my good friend Charles I
proud as Lucifer, because : OF
his divine rights. but somewhere back
In the centurtes past II he could only
md him he would learn that he. and
Guy Fawkes had q common ancestor 81
- TOO :bAl1y common. I should say
growfed Henry VIII. -.. ,ez-s7 y,5,s-. - =
And as for Henry" smiled Euclid,
The. too. would have come upon the
interesting fact, that In some fsmpte.
'unrecordsd moment the lineage of
and the samer g
( well all rye got to say IL ali this
is true: and It seems to be 90. ii that
it's q low-down Dutch trick for, MS to
blame Bill OF Potsdam. on Frederick
the Great and4I'm going to teH him
eso." said Napoleon. Hi. Freddyi" he
added making q megaphone OF his
sCailing me?" said Frederick. s
: Yes said Napoleon. Come over
here. old mar. , We've Just. made . dis
cpvefy that lets you out. We've all
been blaming you for Bin's behavior,
abut we have Just learned from Euclid
heresthat Bill is really the product Of
a. most inclusive ANCESTRAL syndicate,
with tho accent on the sim: and that he
Isn't your fault; at, ALL" &C.
:Yop've been q katxentammer Of q
time, finding that out. :" said Frederick.
81 hAvA.sknawn 1t-all along. Bill Hos
hAnsoilern Ia no .descendant; Of mine.s
I. Not wholly. Bald Bonapsrte., itoniy
i S'Not IL aIl..' said Frederick. 81 had
no children myself" - 2 -. :
A.By Gsofge-so you thadn'tr cried
Evening star., 1918-07-28

the world today and see what these
Potsdamned Hohenzollerns are doing
with an illustrious name ! can't help
thanking old Father Jupiter that
there aren't a swarm of little Caesars
claiming descent from me registering
all over the earth, and compelling the
police Of all civilized communities to
put my tintype in the rogue's gal
lery. Posterity can redeem itself
from a bad ancestry. but an ancestor
is helpless when posterity takes the
bit between its teeth and, leaving the
straight and narrow path. begins ca
reering along the Gay White Way. ex-
ceeding the speed limit. throwing
hohor to the winds. and apparently
preferring the honors of the peniten-
tiary to those of the hall OF fame"
my idea to a dot" said Napoleon.
"And I want to say right here and
now that IL I had a grandson like
Bill Hohenzollern I'd petition Pluto
to let me change my name from
Napoleon Bonaparte to Dennis w.
Mudd. Posterity is all very well in
its way, and I found it convenient at
times by the issue of bonds to let 1t
pay some of my most pressing bills.
but where fame and name are con-
cerned it's too often a boomerang to
be q safe investment"
"Oh I wouldn't be too hard on pos
terity II I were you." said Euclid.
'Tm not too hard on EN-" said Ma
Evening star., 1918-07-28
people must be reckoned among your

people must be reckoned among your
forebears."
Great Zeus!" calculated xerxes.
"And at the thirtieth generation"
said Euclid, "you find that you have
passed the billion mark by nearly
100000. and at the fortieth you are
confronted by the startling circum-
stances that you are sort of com
posite ultimate of the magnitudtnous
number of one thousand and ninety
nine billion. five hundred and eleven
million, six hundred and twenty
seven thousand. seven hundred and
seventy-six ancestors"
'-Gosh." cried Solomon.
ugh" shuddered Louis the XIV.
What horrid thought. Really.
Euk. you make me feel like very
ordinary sort OF bolshevik. But 1t
can't be true. because there were not
that many people in the world forty
generations back"
THAT may be-" said Euclid, but 1t
only intensifies the probability that
instead of being the descendant of a
picked lot of forebears that you chose
yourself because you liked their looks
you are II, reality the final fruition of
a sort Of universal cooperation. which
in turn accounts for the fact that
Evening star., 1918-07-28
Poetry and Pretty Girls: 4
speclaI Correspondence of The Star.
5LeeALLdENNH, the poet I;

ID ICHARD LeGALLIENNE, the poet,
n said<in . recent lecture:
sincerity is the only thing that Will
give . poet success. Technical .excsl-
ience. such as swinburne's. counts for
nothing with the public. The public
doesn't understand Il. IS; 3 :
'.i.aThA public eis . good, deal like =
pretty girl I was talking TO the other
day on D beach. .:s ~ Z, - >
what hsxametsrs ara don't your s2G
, -. SSiireis she said. T TgueessI I ought
10. I've ridden. In them often enough
Evening star., 1918-07-28
A POLE ON. was grinning
after the fashion Of q Che
shire cat as Frederick the
Great. his brow heavy with
frowning gloom. sauntered

into the House-Boat on the
Styx, and took up his lonely station
in one corner of the library. The most
notable of the HohenEollerns had not
been exactly ostracized by his fellow
shades. but he could not help noticing
the cold reserve with which he had
been treated by the members Of the
association since the misdeeds Of the
reigning member of. his family had
become generally known throughout
Hades. Some Of the illustrious had
felt sorry enough for him in the plight
into which he had fallen to greet him
with frigid courtesy. but none of the
intimacies of former days remained.
ssad save for a very few German-Gehen-
mans. like Bismarck, and Attila, and
Hapsburg or two. none were ever
seen associating with him in public
II never see Frederick these days."
said Napoleon. turning to Hannibal.
"but that realize that what seemed
to me to be the most horrible of fates
at the time it befell has turned out
tremendous bit of luck In the end. 1t
must be terrible to be the illustrious
ancestor of a posterity out of which
the bottom has fallen"
Evening star., 1918-07-28


referring to which," asked Hanni-
bal.
why you know, don't you. that one
Of my greatest ambitions in life when
I worked on the other side of the
river was to found family?" said
Napoleon. eyeing the great Cartha-
genian coldly.
mo. Boney," said Hannibal. Sorry,
but wasn't aware OF that fact. 1 had
an idea that your chief object in life
was to make Alexander and julius
Caesar and myself look like bunch
of ,short-change. That's the impress
sion got Of you from the few obitu-
ary notices of yourself that l have
had time to read, but of course don't
pretend to be an authority on you or
anybody else except me. Truth is I'm
not much of a bookworm, old man,
and there's been such a lot Of history
written since my day that 1 haven't
had time to read much ABOUT any,
thing that has happened in the world
"Don't you know anything about
anybody?' sneered Napoleon. anger
ed somewhat by Hannibafs ignorance.
Sure I do" said Hannibal. "I know
how Guy Fawkes succeeded Charles
the First on the Russian throne In
1892, and know how Oliver Cromwell.
after many disheartening voyages in
search of the pole, discovered America
in 177S. I am also perfectly familiar
with DR.. Johnson's marvellous career
after reading Shakespeare's diverting
comedy of Boswell, but"
Mon Dieu!" cried Napoleon. hold
Evening star., 1918-07-28

gravitation by p T. Barnum. down
to the rescue OF Joan Of Arc from
the hands of the sIroquois. by the
Patagonian CRUSADERS under the com.
Trafalgar. Square. You'd. make q for
tune out Of . book like that. Ham,
and. many . thirsty soul who has
fallen by the wsyside halfway
through tho preface of -Carlyle'a
IAfe of Frederick the Great would
= "Oh. I couldn't" said Hannibal. II
have no literary gifts. can't write" 7"
Then dictate. Ham, dictate" said
Franklin. "and enrich the humor Of
the world. But what were you say
ing; Boney. about finding family7
ing { family. said my. ambition
wassto found q family. There's some
and founding It" 80 -,
Yes. I guess ,you are right, said
Frapklin. Your frst family was a
= :, - - ;.-yTs ~, k34
WAS a bitter disappointment to me
at the time. said Bonaparte. ''but
now seq how blestsI really was in
the midst Of what l. considered my
greatest trial. AS look at poor Fred
erick over there. and think of what
the Hohenzoliern has como to I per-
ceive the truth. saRsally. great men
should not be allowed to have chill
dren. Once a fsmily has worked its
way up: to the zenith Of. 4. great
achievement the Anes should end be-
fore 1t starts on the tobogEan DOWN
ward. History itself teaches US that,
for 1t -is only IN. eptionally rare
cases. that any chip on an old block
IL anything more than chip. and q
rather, chippy sort of-a chip At that" /"
you are dead right, Boney," said
Julius Caesar. when look about
Evening star., 1918-07-28

poleon. 'I am only trying to convey
to your mind how darn glad I am
that I haven't got any. ! have
step.posterity. and some OF 1t 70 2
credit to me, but when It comes to
the simon-pure article I can prove an
so can any other ancestor II he
chooses" said Euclid.
81 don't, see how you mako that
out, said Napoleon. I'VE ars the sires
Only IN messure." said Euclid.
'.as can. prove to You very simply.
You had two parents, hadn't your. Z
$50 I haye always understood" re-
piled Napoleon. +s
"Ana four srandparents. contin-
PERFECTLY correct. said Napoleon.
z But what Of it7',
=
"Oh, nothing" laughed Euclid, ''ex-
cept that It Is the fact that as you go
back. multiplying. your ancestors by
two with each succeeding or preced-
ing. generation, You attain TO rather
surprising results. results so surprise
ing as really to Sbe something of q
Joke on sc-callsd first families who
are al the: time boasting about the
exclusive aualltyy OF, their forebearers,
Figure It out Boney. Suppose you 60
back forty generations, - some Of
these potentates Elafn to be 5abls 20
do. starting IN with two sparentss
and working backward ten, genera
tions on tho reEalar :basis Of afith.
mettc pfogression you ind that ten
sgenerationss back you had 1,0x4 pro-
geHitofS. = 81 A.ittZ $, e,
.'soms grandadl.. said Ncah. !
Same basis Of calculation. continued
Euclid; ..you run up against the hard,
but eunassaiiabls fact that 4. .048.S7s
Evening star., 1918-07-28

ing up his hands in horror. Did you
hear that, franklin Z
.sYes, I heard" laughed Franklin;
''but really. Boney. I'm not surprised:
I've talked lot with these old
Greeks. Romans. Carthagentans and
What-Nots. and take It from, me
what they don't know about; history
would Nil a cyclopedia-fndeed. y
has already filled several cyciopess
dias. was talking with Epauinon-
das only last Tuesday. when up
walks John Stuart Mil. and when
introduced him to Epaminondas .Ep-
py. told him he was delighted TO meet
him, he had taken SO much pleasure
In reading his wonderful. book On
the Floss Eppy thought George
Eliot's Mill on the Floss was by
sThats nothing" said Sir Walter
Raleigh. II can understand q mis-
take like that. but when man re.
puted to be as learned as Sophocles
stops you on the street and asks YOU
to explain hew the dickens Nanoleotl
adxer his defeat at Waterloo could
hve reached Paris. KY, inside OF
twenty-four hours-well, II you are
not in the center of gravity itself !
don't see how the deuce a fellow can
keep from laughing every button on
his shirt" -
Evening star., 1918-07-28

:we'n have to start . primary
school or a. kindergarten In history.
for these antediluvians." said Napo-
leon. they'll have Tommy Carl1ls
down as the author Of Exodus next"
..WeM, TIM sorry to appear 50 ig-
norant," said Hannibal but really
Doney. 1t isn't my fault They didn't
teach what you fellows; call modern
history back. In .215 B. e. whom I
went to school, and II wasn't until
I'd been down here over 1000 Year,
that I ever heard the names Of Chrde.
teDher Columbus and Jim cBosw ell
Evening star., 1918-07-28

BY AN AMERICAN SOLDIER
FRANCE.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
POLISH JEWS WILL FIGHT AT
TEMPT TO CURB COMMtNl-
TIES AUTONOMOUS POWERS

.
LOndon-(By J. C.)-Thc Minister
inl Commission which was appointed
by the Polish Government to look after
thc Jewish Communities. has worked
ont plans according to which those
communities will he put under strict
government control If the plans are
carried ont. the government will have
TO approve all the officers decide their
salaries as well as have the right to
control the financial affairs of the ke-
hillas. All moneys are to be paid out
thru the government bank. In other
words. the KehillaS would lose their
autonomous powers.
The same commission had made in
ouirieS aS to the rights and functions
of the Rabhis and other leaders of the
. Jewish Communities. with II view OF
limiting their powers.
The Jews are not willing to allow
the Government to curb their religious
autonomy without a fight. and Ma
tional Council has already been or
gauized for the purpose of directing
the struggle for minority rights and
self determination. Delegates from
every Polish Community will soou have
"A Congress for the purpose OF devisinS
means of fighting the Threatened at
tempt to curb the rights of the Jews.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
THE JEWISH BANK.

The -Anglo-Palestinc company. or as
II is called in Palestine, the Jewish
Bank. is displaying great activity of
late. In spite of all the difficulties
under which the bank lahourcd in the
DAYS of the Turkish rulers. who fin
ally dccreed its liquidation. the con.
fidcncc of the population in the bank
has remained mistaken. Since the "c-
cupation of .Iudca the head bank in
Jnffa and its branches in Jerusalem,
GAIA and Rcbron have resumed their
activities.
The large business houses as well aS
numerous small traders were at once
able to. resume their commercial rcln-
tions with Egypt and for this purpose
the bank accorded them a large credit.
In this way the Jaffa and Jerusalem
markets have been supplied with many
Ecyptian goods. The colonies were
granted various credits for the purpose
of procuring the necessary materials
and the organization of Jewish colonies
was consequently enabled to send II
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
Denvers Jewish Workers In War
Work Campaign
100 PER CENT. is TIE SLOGAN
SAYS DAVE HARLEM.

The Ways and Means committee of
the United War Work campaign is
actively engaged in arranging its plans
for the United War Work drive next
week. which must be n success says
the chairman. David T.. Harlem. Our
Jewish citizens must come thru 100
per cent in money and service. Mr..
Harlem represents the Jewish Welfare
Board and is county Ticc-chairman of
the campaign. Milton NJ. Schayer is
chairman of the Victory Boys cam
paign. a subsidiary committee of the
United War Work campaign.
The campaign will begin Monday
evening at n dinner at Daniels and
Fishers attended by the men and
women Of the Liberty. Loan Army.
They will meet each evening there.
after between > and 6 p. m. at the
Auditorium to report on the days
work.
The members composing the com.
mittce under Mr.. Harlem are: Milton
NJ. Schaycr. ISidorc Amter. Max Cold
baum. Ben Shubart. Sam Isaacson.
Dave Jacobs. NJ. ID. Barnett. Morris
Cohn. Mas s. Sciiayer. DIR. Louis Adel-
man. Henry Schwartz.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
TO LOOK AFTER ALL NEEDY DE,
PENDENTS.
Drafted Men Can Rest Assured That
Those Left at Home Will Not
Suffer.

The Jewish Welfare Board Is or
ganizing New York city block by block
to care for the dependents of its men
in uniform.
When the drafted man marches
away. the folks that are left behind
require some looking after.
The Welfare agencies have been car
ing for families that have been brought
to their notice. The present plan of
,the-I. w. Il. is toiyisit the family of
every man who is inductcd into service
and find those who neC1 help; with
out waiting until assistance is asked.
The Jewish Welfare Board thru its
personal service and information SER
vice bureaus. has already taken care
of large number of dependent fam
lilies. This number includes those left
destitute because their government al
lotments have failed to arrive, others
impoverished by illness or other uneN-
pccted contingencies. and ShOp-Owning
families whose source of income failed
because the head of the business was
called away.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
American Jews Ready
For Campaign
PREPARED TO GO OVER THE TOP
FOR UNITED WAR WORK.
SAYS JACOB BILLIkOPF.

I'VE shall have 100 per cent. par
ticipation in the United War Work
Campaign in terms of money and SER
vice. on the part of Jewish citizens
and Jewish organizations everywhere
in America is the prediction of Jacob
Billikopf. special representative of the
Jewish We re Board in the cabinet
of DIR. John X. Mott. National Director
of the United Campaign Of all the
war welfare agencies, Protestant. Cath
Ollie and Jewish. Mr.. BillikOpf. who
was the director of the campaign
whereby S1G,OOO.OOO was raised for
Jewish war relief. is devOting his SER
vices to the Jewish Welfare Board for
the United campaign.
"On the Jewish sabbath Immediate
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
OUR WORK WILL BRING RESULTS
SAYS MRS. NORRIS.

The Jewish Women are represented
of the Womcn's Division of the
United War Work campaign by Mrs.
Ernest Norris. Mrs. Morris is very
enthusiastic regarding the work Of her
ancc and will bring the results. she
says. The ladies plan to open their
campaign by n mass meeting as soon
as public gatherings are permitted.
make house to house canvass in their
respective districts and see that every
one assists in this worthy and ncces-
sary work. -
Another committee of speakers are
at the disposal of the campaign COM
mittec who will be ready to attend
any meeting TO which they may be
sent and arouse the listeners to the
United War Work campaign. The
ladies composing this committee are
Mrs. Gus RechnitZ. Mrs. Morris Rip
ley. Mrs. f. Pisko. Mrs. Ray David.
Mrs. Morris Cohen. Mrs. S. Frieden-
thai.
The large committee to visit the
homes are: y. Rothschild. Miss Kscns-
ky. Mrs Herman Goldsmith. Mrs. J..
Marx. Mrs. Nose Marx. Stella Rech-
nitz. Elizabeth Levy. Julia Gross. Ber.
nice Guggenheim. Eveline PeltOn. Mrs.
J.. Mortimer, Mrs. l. Barnett Mrs. l..
.Adelman. Mrs. w. Appel. Mrs. l..
Amter Mrs. NJ. Baum. I. Berman, J..
Becker. Dave Calm. Louis Cohen. ].
Cohen. ]. b. Emanuel. II. II. Frumess.
Mrs Max Goldberg, J. S. Gross. Mrs.
Max Guldman. Mabellc Herman. Mrs
A. ]. Wustum. Morris Schayer, 4. NJ.
Hyman. Mrs. Geo Jarecki, Mrs.
Harry Krohn. Mrs Geo. Meyers. Mrs.
Clara New. Mrs. I. Oppenheim.
County Council Of Defense.
The following ladies will work with the
County Council OF Defense thru Mrs.
Emanuel Friedman assistant chairman
of district F.: Mrs NJ. B. Goldberg.
Mrs. Frank Garlett. Miss Elizabeth
Singer. Mrs Mollic Lifshitz. Mrs. NJ. s.
Radetsky. Miss Esther Tiopltzky. Mrs.
A. ]. Wcisbrod. Mrs. John Bt+gcr, Mrs.
\. Miller. Mrs. Sam Ornstein.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
Camp,

special buyer to Egypt Many owners
of orange plantations We're able, thanks
to the credit extended to them by the
bank. TO procure the necessary petrol
cum. oil and coal which We're placed
ut their disposition by the British gov
crnmcnt. The owners of the other col
onicS have also received large credits
which. it is hoped. will enable them
TO get thru the years of war. In all
colonies groups are now being formed
with the object of procuring the neces-
Sary materials for planting and sow
in. With the credit given by the
bank it will he possible speedily and
successfully to carry out these tasks.
Each day large deposits are received
by the bank from abroad on behalf of
all kinds of Institutions as well as
private individuals.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
DIR. NATHAN KRASS HONORED AT
LUNCHEON GIVEN by JACOB
ii. SCHIFF.

A testimonial luncheon was recently
given at the Bankers Club. New York.
ty Jacob II. Schiff in honor OF Or.
Nathan Krass. Rabbi of tho Central
Synagogue. New York City in token
Of the magnificent work that DR..
EIass has done. under the auspices of
the American Jewish Relief Commit
tee thruout the country in raising funds
for the Jewish war sufferers.
DR. Krass's elOqncnce was respon-
sible last year for over one and n
half million dollars out of the total
of S1O.OOO.OOO raised for the relief of
Jewish sufferers from the war. He
delivered Irresistible appeals to great
audiences in Pittsburgh, Kansas City.
Des Moines, Harrisburg. Providence
Wilmington. and many other cities.
DIR. Krass recently returned from
an extended tour of the West. His
itinerary included Omaha, Salt Lake
City. Denver. Fresno. Colorado
Springs, Sacramento. Los Angeles. San
Diego. San Francisco. Phoenix, Ari-
zona. Albuquerque and Las Vegas. New
Mexico. His success everywhere was
remarkable. As result of his trip
the west will go over the top in help
ing to raise $15OOO.OOO which is the
minimum goal of the American Jew
isli Relief Committee in 1913.
About sevcnty-fiye people were pres
ent at Mr.. Schiff's testimonial dinner.
Eulogistic speeches In praise of DIR.
Krass's work were made by Ambas-
sador Henry Morgenthau. Louis Mar
shall, and Mortimer l., Schiff.
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
MORGENTHAU ADVOCATES END
OF MILITARISM.

Henry Morgenthau, cS-ambassador
to Turkey. arrived In this city last
Monday from New York When asked
his opinion of the latest German note
he expressed the opinion that the kais-
cr is playing II game.
THAT big military machine is not
broken i'm Germany and we must not
become infected witbf.Iae-sert Of poison
notes they are sending out" said MIR.
Morgenthau. This war, was started
to down militarism. and until that evil
is crushed, until the materialism is
downcd and that spiritual peace that
President Wilson is working for is
gained there will not be an end of this
war.
The end of it must spell not only
fifty to sixty years of world peace. but
fifty or sixty years of no need of pre-
paratiOns for war They are not brok-
Ell over there and we must beware"
At his post at Constantinoplc. Mr.
Morgenthau gained II clear insight in.
to the methods of what he calls the
Terrible Turk
Their national aspirations will GER
tainly find n favorable and lasting so
luton at the coming Ieace Congress
at the close of the present war;
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
"yOUR BRAVE FELLOW JEWS"

IN acknowledging telegram of con-
crntulation sent to him by the English
Zionist Federation on the British vic
tory in Palestine. General Allenby re-
piled: Il and my army express our
gratitude for your kind words ana
congratula tions. We are proud to have
been able to set free the Holy Land
General Allenby also replied to Jewish
congratulations on the British victory
with the words" | am deeply CRATE
full for your message of congratulatiOn
and will convey it to your brave fellow
Jews whom l am proud to have under
my command
The Denver Jewish news., 1918-11-07
NATIONAL RECEPTION
FOR GONIPERS.

4 national mass meeting to cele-
brate the return to America of Samuel
Gompers and other members of the
American labor mission TO Europe will
he held in Chicago early in November.
ii was announced 10y the American
Alliance of Labor and Democracy. y
single great meeting will he held. it
was explained. because Mr.. G0mpers
will he unable to make an extended
speaking tour thruout the country. The
provisional date set is November s.
hut it will depend upon when the
mission returns to the United States.
Invitations to the meeting already
have been sent TO President Wilson
and the members of his Cabinet and
the governors of all States.