The weekly Alaska citizen., 1918-08-19


 now, father? "Oh, we'll soon be home," assured father, hopping his reddened face with his handkerchief. He stopped hurriedly to pick up his loaded little lard pails. Just as he raised the last one from the ground the bailer came off, spilling all the berries-in the tall grass-among the niggerheads! And the worst of it was, he afterwards told, in re- lating his get-the-berries-quick ven- ture, when he spilled the berries, that owing to the presence of his little son he was unable to relieve his pent up feelings!
 BACK TO It was Sunday last; THE CACTUS the young oldtimer FOR HIM. just got in from Lit
 tie Eldorado; he was dressed up, white collar and all, but there was something lacking about his makeup; while out at the mines he always garbs a la Levi Strauss, but he keeps suit of clothes, etc., at his hotel here against his coming to town; also he was obviously dissatisfied-had a griev- ance; he was all dressed up, with three weeks growth of flaming red beard; his blond hair also was ragged, set off by the white collar, and he was limping with a stick j; he had run nail in his foot out at the mine-yes, he's we'll known Little Eldorado-etc. Oh, no! his name went be mentioned. "I'll give you something to write!" he de- clared, land call it A Sourdough's s Grousings. This is getting to be a fine town!" he complained. Ut was all right to close gambling; it was bad enough to close saloons on Sun- day, but look now!" Here he pranced, gesticulating with one hand, when a miner from the creeks happens to hit town on Sunday, he can't get a shave! Why" he lamented, "he can't even buy pair of socks!" Nobody disputed him. And" he continued, what is bath. without a change of socks, ad lib!" The church bells were ringing, Sunday school children and sedate looking men, accompanied by their wives, pushing baby carriages. were every where much in evidence. He looked around him and sadly shook his head. Fairbanks is getting too - civilized! 7" was his parting shot, as he limped away. (And he'll be one surprised man when his gaze hits this on this glorious Sabbath out at Little Eldorado! Also, he was warned that what he said would "be used against him.")
 HIS Politicians, no mat BUSTED ter of what party, PLANK. usually have some
 platform to present to their constituents for their ap- proval before election time, but it remained for Fairbanks politician, on the Republican ticket, to present only part of platform a plank. The member of the Republican party recently had occasion to make trip to the lower river, and on arrival at his destination endeavored to get ashore by means of a single plank The party member is of somewhat portly dimensions and his weight was too much for the plank, which broke while its burden was in the middle, precipitating him in the river top side up. The humor of the situation was apparent to him, for about the only thing he said: 'I've broken the only plank in my platform!"
 NOTHING BUT An upper Second STANDARD avenue grocerman BRAND HERE. was waiting on a
 lady customer not long ago when she asked for peanut butter. The storekeeper astonished his customer by telling her that "he didn't kape amy av thim new-fan. gled brands; nothin' but Gowlden Glow or Gowlden State buther fer him."
 WAS SONG; Last week a prOmi- THEY SANG nent federal official QUACk-QUAck who lives out toward the ball grounds went out for a walk to see if the mosquitoes were still lowering around the slough near the park. Because of his position, he would never think of violating the game laws so dear to the hearts of those who live north of 53. After taking his evenings exercise he re- turned home and shortly afterward was seen accompanied by his wife and baby buggy going out toward the self same park. We presume he