New-York tribune., 1918-04-15
Shoes and Ships
And Sealing Wax


Creel, members Of high school class
in Boston admitted unanimously that
they had never heard of him--which
only goes to prove that the Hub hasn't
vet learned how proud we should be
that we've heightened the war eighteen
months while getting ready to fight.
A little more than a century ago q
British force clung desperately to its
positions at Waterloo. holding out
against the attacking French, until
the Prussions came to the rescue.
Almost within gun range of there
if you count in the German church
sheller-a British force is clinging
desperately to its positions, holding
out against the oncoming Prussians
until the French come to the rescue,
while Wellington. Blucher and Napo-
leon revolve rapidly IN their graves.
"Peter Van Zile. down Campgaw
way" says Uncle Abimelech Bogardus,
of Preakness, N. j., "heard a lot of
talk about q new Liberty Loan, but
he didn't pay no 'tention. He just
bought Ford and pnoneygraft, and
lot of dern fool fixin's for the house.
Now he's broke. and he can't help
out Uncle Sam.
81 'spose, though. that if Mr.. Creel
heard about it, he'd tell Pete he ought
to be proud he wasn't prepared"
After he has finished raiding the
restaurants and chop suey houses of
the city, District Attorney Swami
might send his band of vice chasers
into the academic quiet of the Library.
Four earnest youths sat deep in con-
sultation over table in the general
reading room, yesterday Apparently
they were discussing the Malthusian
theory or the binomial theorum,
or something equally intellectual
Touched by such concentration on the
part Of the young, we drew closer.
The four earnest youths had their
eyes fixed on the announcement board,
wherco1r are flashed the numbers Of
those whose books are ready. They
weren't waiting for some volume of an
clent lore, however They were play
ing a stiff game of keno, using the
numbers as they flashed into view.
"The old man in the hearse" of
limerick fame wouldn't have enjoyed
his ride SO much if Eman Teck had
been its driver. Eman. who scared
most of the motorists off the road by
the way he drove his motor hearse from
St. George to Baron Hurst Cemetery,
Staten Island, excelled himself on the
return trip. Patrolman Morris chased
him on motorcycle for three miles
before he could overhaul the flying
hearse driver and serve him with a
summons.
If you visit the Bronx Geological
Park in uniform, have heart and go
and stand in front Of the bear cage.
If you don't, goodness only knows what
will happen to Bessie and Max. former
maScotS of the Sunset Division. now
in France
When the division sailed, the two
black bear cubs were assigned to de-
tached duty at the Zoo. For a time
they kept up their spirits, but lately
they have been moping and none of
the remedies known to Peter Roman
off, their keeper, has served to arouse
them.
They're homesick for the DIVISION, y
Romanof decided yesterday, after wit
Messing how his charges perked up
every time an olive drab uniform hove
in sight. The keeper believes that if
enough soldiers will only visit the cage
it will make the bears forget their be-
reavement. He is considering having a
sign painted, thus, eff you wear a uni
form, please show it to Max and
Bessie"
The hand that rocks the cradle is
little more powerful than the hand of
Mrs. Anna Frye She sits at her desk
in "The Boston Evening Record" and
holds it aloft, shouting: Frye! On the
jump."
And husband, Ralph, jumps to take
an assignment from his boss and wife,
the only woman city editor of metro
politan daily in the East