South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-01-13
MAN IN THE STREET


is fooling with the Hon. Jenny's po-
litical perspicacity where it Is weak.
A total of 10000. 600 coins were
minted the past year. or four coins
per capita. We got our per capita
, Of this. since the report shows two
pennies and a nickel and dime for
each person were included in the
mintage.
The little girl with the crepe de
chine taste. who makes the mistake
Of having for her daddy a man with
a cheese cloth income, is bound to
| have her dimples overflow as a re-
suit of lachrymal freshets occasion
ally.
One of Billy Sundays Atlantic
| trailhitters is in Jail on a charge of
stealing an overcoat and two suits
of clothes. When the predatory in
stinct has become a settled habit, it
I takes a whole lot of grace 20 uproot
: il.
We believe that a careful survey
Of the pessimism corner viii reveal
the presence of very few pretty wi
dows between the ages of Is and %.
It is estimated that there are So
600 real slackers in the United States
meaning those who have shirked
and skunk after being drafted. But
vermin of this character will be ul-
! timately found. There will be no
rest in America for them.
OF course, the war department
may bar the married men from the
| army if it wants TO, but it is depriv-
! ing the country of the services of the
men who are experienced fighters
and who can take a world of pun
ishment.
The yard eggs have reached US.
but we shall not give up our his
toric stuff that the hens laid when
the children of Israel were walking
the dry bed of the Red sea, unless
the doctors tell us that fresh eggs
are safe.
We are not naturally skeptical. 1t
is the quality and volume Of the war
poetry now gushing forth which i'm
pels us to doubt the accuracy of the
statement that hard drinking is on
the wane.
The unprecedented winter and
food and fuel shortage impel us TO
ask, why is it that when anything
is out Of gear everything in the cate
cory Of the disagreeable starts out
TO break all the records?
Did you ever notice that before it
came the custom to print the pict-
Ures of girls in the newspapers,
they didn't powder their noses so
much?
1t is estimated that in all branch
es Of the cOuntrys war service,
Mishawaka is now represented by
more than 500 boys. This is a rec
ord the old town can be pround of.
II is far beyond her pro rata. When
we look at the Sons of Rest and the
stacking lOafers. the Thought of the
500 sure enough boys consoles US.
The orphan children Of a pretty
young widow never suffer Eor any
thing in this world, but when the
situation is different then the Lord
will have to take a hand.
dia," says a trade report. There is
too much pussyfooting in the world
now. India would better leave the
rubber heels alone.
But for Gods Sake, let US pass
on" pleads Colonel Watterson. If
you are coming via Mishawaka,
Marse Henry, we shall be compelled
to stop you for a little while. say
long enough 10 address the Kiwanas
and shake hands with Kenneth
Todd.
The relatives of a dead millionaire
in New York would not permit his
widow to attend his funeral. This
sort of trouble is never raised by
the relatives of man who dies
without money. Moral: If you
want your relatives TO love you. &C
cumulate a large fortune and make
no will
The Georgia girl who married an
army officer. found him TO be a trail
tor and an enemy spy. turned him
lover 70 the authorities and return
ed home, can find another soldier
husband who is 100 per cent if she
will come TO Mishawaka.
Lap dogs are now barred from
Fifth avenue coaches. If things
keep on in Fifth avenue it may be-
come so that a lap dog will not be
thought much more of than a baby.
! Congratulations 10 Lady Betty
who wrote this column for us last