The Washington herald., 1918-09-24

New York Sept q = Eighteen
thousand fIst-footed men. with soft
hands and ability to. tell funny stor-
les, will be looking for new Jobs
October in New York. The closing
OF the brsweries will throw that
many bsrtenders out of work.
The downcast bonifscts Of "the
poor mans club" are aot hit so hard
as might be supposed, however Ten
thoussnd saloons go out OF business
IN the greater city and about 55.-
600 employees who derive their liv-
ing from saloons will md their oc-
eupations gone.
But the osrtenders are a thrifty
lot Many OF them have their own
cars and little places out in the coun-
Try ana very few Of them ever take
a drink. Nearly every bartender
wants 10 get out OF the business.
He is glad the big opportunity has
come. =
The greatest sunerer by the clos
ing OF saloons will be the saloon
'swabber." He is a type Of barroou
attache Of whom little is known By
the general public. he will suffer
most by the closing Of the cheaper
saloons because these obscure eS-
Adjustments long have been the last
haven Of hope in the stormy and
shipwrecked lives OF thousands OF
such social castswsyE ana psriahs
OF the gay life
The saloon swabber is usually a
combination sexton and night watch
man OF the estsblishment which
houses. feeds and sustains him.
He locks up and opens UP. He is
the janitor. polisher. garbage man
and all around scrub" Of the beer
saloon industry. The b1rToom or
ITS basement IS usually his home
his workshop and playground and
he tts them all with the easy and
etortless familiarity Of the mop in
its bucket.
Every East Side sud psrlor has
its hopeless deTe!ict-the "swsbber
who is blear-eyed. dropsicsl and E
trembling misshapen shadow OF
what was once fine physical man
hood. He is the half-slive symbol
OF the saloon at its worst Most Of
them will 60 70 charity institutions
to spend the rest Of their days
dreaming Of the hopeless past
ANEzA+ . l-O44 HAONEE ANt
ing and heartening fact that the
prevalent and. usually. long-cher-
shed desire Of every saloonkeeper.
harkeep, brewery driver and "svsb''
5 to be a farmer.
A motion picture actress whose
name screeches from billboards ever
so often called on Big Bill Edwards.
FE-
him why she had been so forgetfuI
about her income tax.
The collector saw to It that she had
q good chair. that her pom was COM
! foTtsbly placed and that the matches
were hspdv. Then he gave ear gym
pathetlcally.
Please don't blame me. Mr. Big
Bin she SAID. lighting up with easy
| nonchalsnce. but I'm q busy lady.
I don't know what 70 allow for COS
met!cs, taxicsbs. tapestries and trockS
if you know what I man"
How much do you neesIe a week.
said Bill.
I an q star" Ehs replied. ! never
! accept less than one thousand dollars
each week
@. Nike called the Collector.
! lead her out, collect the tax and
! pile on a 30 per cent penalty. Take
! her out quick, She Is making ne
cry"
Wc-d comes to Park Row that Capt
: Franklin P. Adams. the well-knowr
. and ]. (. wit. is now doing confidential
I work In Department G-2-B at Perish
! Ing's headquarters IN France. G-2-B
! il is presumed, stands for Giving il
! 70 the Boches. He recently sent the
I following messaC= TO the American
I Press Humorists: It's ? great game
! TO be in. and it is worth the pr.vs-
| ton Of bathing in a split OF Msrne
[ water to know. al first hand. that
nothing in the world can keep U'
/ from waIloping the BOChe; or. as we
uncouth warriors in our slangy way
| call hIm-tke enemy"