Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1918-05-29
TOO MUCH FOR Her
Woman Could Stand a Lot From
Mere Man, But
When She Was Told That She DidnF
Know Enough to Wind a Watch
She Was Ready to Fight
at Once.

II feel exactly like an alarm clock
all wound up and ready to strike" she
announced.
"What in the world has happened?"
said 1.
Nothing" said she, "except that a
mere man has insinuated that I haven't
sufficient intelligence to wind a watch"
"Who is the brute?" I demanded.
'"Oh, a man downtown in a jewelry
store. You know" she went on, "that
Peggy has to have q watch or she'd
never come in from play on time and
she has to have one that doesn't OBJ
ject to being stepped on occasionally,
or dropped onathe sidewalk, or left in
the bathtub. So I buy her a cheap
and hardy variety that lasts about a
year and when that is used up I get
her another. It's more economical
than paying to keep a higher bred
article in repair.
"Well I bought her q new n last
week. The thing acted queer from
the start. Sometimes it would plunge
f%uriously ahead as though it were bent
on beating all the rest of the time-
pieces. Sometimes it would lag hours
behind and sometimes it baked alto
gether. 1t performed more antics than
you would think possible for a creature
with only two hands. And all this
time I was winding it faithfully.
"After several days of such aero
battles, I gave up winding it and intern
ed the thing in a bureau drawer to
await a time when I could take it back
to the jewelers..
81 took it back yesterday. I laid the
watch and my troubles before that
jeweler: He said # IL leaye. i half
an 656T' he'd look into the Hatfer:
"Half az hour later, when I return
ed, a dozen other folks, more or less,
had collected around the watch coun-
ter, all apparently waiting for their
watches, too. I asked for mine. And
in the presence of all those attentive
ears and eyes he handed back that
crazy little rattletrap, and remarked
In a clear voice that it was run down
and I couldn't expect any watch to go
If / didn't wind it.
"Now, I've been stuck on the road
I'm an auto that refused to bulge an
other inch. And I've sent to the serV-
Ice man who has rushed to my rescue
for the PURPOSE Of telling ns that
there wasn't any GASOLINE ii the tank.
But that didn't irritate me. Any
body's liable to run short 9f gasoline:
aAnd once, q long time ago, when l
lived in a house that had a cistern and
q pump in it, I paid q plumber to come
up and tell me that the cistern was
empty. I did not mind that either. l
hadn't been down IN the cistern-hoW
should I know it was empty?
"But for any man to presume to In
form me that a watch has 20 be wound
well, I suspect that when Kipling
wrote that stuff about the female Of
the species being more deadly thar the
male, he had just sex some woman
who had been told that her watch
wouldn't run unless she wound it"
However," said I in my best Peace
Palace style, "to my certain knowledge
there are a number of jewelry stores
in this town where they listen to ones
troubles with all the patience and at
tention Of q family doctor. l suggest
that you erase this painful episode
from the tablets of your memory and
buy your annual watch at n of these
other places"
TITS a good suggestion" said she'
saud so be it."-Detroit Free Press.