davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
BY ROY L. McCARDELn.

petter, and I'm going TO see the doc
Tor ABOUT it. l think it's influenzas,
and very dangerous
Berry says to me: Take my de-
wee and don't see no doctor. They
only soak you and they don't do you
any good. / never speak to doc
tor >"
Yes, doctors and undertakers new
er talk shop when they meet at their
work interjected Mr. Jarr.
'sure!' Mr.. Slavinslty continued.
Then Berry gimme fine cigar and
said | wondered why cigars was al
ways broke that people give YOU, and
ne said because people was broke who
give them to you maybe; and then he
SAID there was a trick in every trade
but undertaking, and then | coughed
for him again and then he treated
again.
He had an eye to business, too?"
That's what / think" replied Sla-
whisky. And every day during the
Influenza emkidemic | would cough
for him, and every day he would
treat. But what good is it to do it
now?"
why not?" asked Mr.. Jarr.
Il can cough now till my head
aches and Berry turns his back" said
Slavinsky, with sigh. IT'S all be-
cause my wife tells his wife about her
fathers and mothers golden wedding
we was to-"
Mr.. Jarr's gaze bespoke his interest
and Mr.. Slavinsky went on; my wife
tells Mrs. Berry about the golden
wedding, and how another under
taker sends flowers and fifty camp
chairs for the people to sit on and
don't charge nothing, because people
who have golden weddings can't live
long. People like that undertaken,
my wife says, you could die for, so
took his telephone number in case.
anything happened to Mr.. Slavinsky,
who has a lad cold
But didn't she know Berry was
treating you for your cold?'
'Sure!" was the reply. That's why.
My wife don't like me TO go in Gus's
even at somebody's expense. Still,
If friends invite me, what can I do2"
you can refuse" suggested Mr..
Jar.
But Mr.. Slavinsky said that in times
like these he wouldn't hurt nobody's
feelings for nothing in the world"
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

whose latest book, an Defense of
Women" contains a statement that a
husband usually is onlv a woman's
tenth choice-a declaration with
which | disagree totally. believing
there Is far more truth in Thack-
eray's much quoted assertion that
any woman devoid of an actual hump
can marry any man she wants. And
! am by no means sure that even a
hump disqualifies her.
Beauty, even more than morals, is
" matter of geography Darwin re-
ported that African savages disliked
the appearance of white women, who,
they said, looked like potato flow
ers," and preferred the dusky, nose
ringed sirens of their own race. There
is a noticeable difference in type be-
tween French and American beauties.
And limiting our survey to our own
continent the most beautiful woman
in New York and in Rio de Janeiro
could never be the same person.
May Ellington, discussing this ques-
ton in England, wrote that the wom-
an with magnetism will always be pre-
ferred by men TO the merely pretty
woman. But it is possible for both
these qualities to be united in the
same human being. Where real mag
netisin exists we rarely find out
whether a woman is pretty or not.
When a lamp is lighted it's defects of
structure are lost to sight in its warm,
lovely glow.
What is the difference between a
pretty and a beautiful woman? AS
people generally use these adjectives,
beauty is the exclusive attribute of
size, any pleasing woman over five
feet six being beautiful, any charm
ing person under that height being
pretty. If beauty means anything at
all it means regularity of feature,
clearness of skin and lovely COM
bination of form and color eyes.
The word handsome exists to express
a large comeliness. A beautiful
woman may be tall or short, slender
or stout, as it pleased God to make
her. Many women called pretty de.
serve TO be termed beautiful. And
many of these women are unmar-
ried. 1t is not only possible to love a
homelv woman as well as q pretty
one. 1t is really necessary, genuinely
pretty women being extremely scarce
But every homely woman knows
that she can be beautiful to at least
one man. And few pretty women
need to be more.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
The Jarr Family

Things picking up since the late
autumn and early winter armistices
Mr.. Slavinsky2" asked Mr.. Jarr
cheerily. as he encountered his neigh
Dor, the gla2ier. Pre- bellum bust
ness good?"
Business isn't bellerum, it's bum,
replied the glazier.
Me" he continued, "only it is
fashionable to put glasses on top OF
furniture tables l would starve to
death. Winter is too long coming
What we need is lots of snow and a
big strong wind"
mot fer met" said Mr.. Jarr. Il
don't care for snow and wind"
You would if you was in the glass
business" said Mr.. Slayinsky. "Comes
q snow and the boys throw snowballs
then my telephone rings to ask me to
come around and fix the broken base
ment windows. Comes strong wind
and the glass fronts blow out. so it
all helps"
81 guess you are the only one that
sees it that way said Mr.. Jarr.
Sure was the reply: but every
body sees it different way. Here
~ llIt ltitE NIldl Is an ullleEldhtT
next door to me. My! / make my
throat sore coughing for that fellar,
just so he'll be sociable. He thinks
l got influenzas."
Tell me about your influenza. You
got rid of it all right" said Mr.. Jarr.
II didn't have it at ALL" replied
the glaZier "But only about a week
ago l am taking out an order for a
glass what is broken in china
closet up the street, and l see Berry,
the undertaken, standing in his door
and he looks as though business was
good and he wanted it TO keep good /;
and me, you know, I'm always the
Teller to do a good turn by anybody
when it don't cost anything, so /
coughed for Berry and that makes
him stop me and shake hands. Cen
orally he only says It's nice weather.
amt it?' or It's bad weather, amt
it?' But when / cough that way he
asks me into Gus's to have something,
like you are going to do, for you amt
a tightwad, you don't care what kum-
mel costs, you're sport!
We'll, Berry says; My! what bad
cough you got, Mr.. Slavinsky" And
I say Yes, it don't seem to get no
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
HITS FROM SHARP WITS

a..
az iiei'h.u !" i9i wy
i piease,n. .iis' " .n9 pass gu" ~ :
~ ~ m ,lsai t'iT soou 'iii"s7 Vi INC
present ioie.o .'idae' t..
70 cry over sp'ilea nl'Ik h'tu ny iuea
nov the piice "aS oo'nS To so"i
q
,,,, : n.,,o h.,, 49,, +,0
ia thn na,r,, n' airli ~ y; ba r
H., Cttaa o nc Ma,us " N''''i'i7 ~ "''
Will i'c'so Ne"S'
WEI -, ,.o,o ,,,.a
w, ,e 80 81 e",' n."ei ~"
'o hS'Si hopS " Scc iiIHi
W. rati i ,,' INV 49,,
wCoirn,b,S re- ~ naoord
o'u''i''"S 10 |'' i'ecoiu'
Soo, oo." - -, :.
NeaN every Silly man IVA ~
Jus'leo 10 "HothSl, tudnSe' ltiouo
Diaue
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
NOT PREPARED FOR
DEMOCRACY

THE world has no further use
for kings or others bearing hered-
itary titles of nobility.
In Germany royalty has abdicated.
The kings and kinglets have gone
while the going was good. t"Dw
socialism is to try its hand at civil
government.
In Russia, where less than ten per
cent of the people can read, ii
would have been surprising had pop
ular government of any kind succeed
ed. But in Germany, education is
general, and the world will watch
with interest how educated socialism
deports itself
In 1S4S, the socialists held con-
troll in Germany and a constituent
assembly met in Frankfort. Bu
the Germans never had experienced
free political life in any degree
Nor have they till now. Nearly
every deputy had his own theory OF
the course to be pursued and was sure
the country would go to ruin if il
was not pursued.
Learned professors and talkative
journalists insisted on delivering in
terminable speeches, and on examin-
ing in the light of ultimate philo-
sophical principles every PROPOSE
ton laid before the assembly.
The nation lost patience and the
reactionary forces gained strength
and the men who had fritteret
away opportunity mostly found re-
fuge in America.
Germany will have no more kings
unless it shall be found that the
German people are incapable Of self
government.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
Why You Catch Spanish Influenza
BY BERNARR MACFADDEN

reported a couple of years ago by
1.-The Lancet" the leading medical
| journal of Canada.
Virulent typhoid germs were in
| jected into various food products,
which were then eaten by forty-two
| volunteers. In no one of these sub
| jects was there a development of
| typhoid, or the least apparent evil
consequence. Nineteen similar eX-
periments were made with pneumonia
germs, with similar results. Forty
| eight experiments were made with
| diphtheria germs. the bacilli being
not only swallowed in various food
! products, but the nose and throat Of
| the forty volunteers being swabbed
with them. Not one of the subjects
developed diphtheria.
1t is not likely that, the germ of
Spanish influenza can bear up any
| better under adverse conditions than
can those of the deadly diseases just
mentioned. Therefore. if your body
| is healthy you may rest assured that
| you are safe from its attacks.
| If your body is not healthy. you
should begin at once to make it so.
Whatever you know of right physical
| living you should. in these days Of
udISeF, CAREFULLY anu tdTl6SlIS put
into practice First of all. eliminate
fear; for fear is devitalizing agent
and If entertained may counterfeit all
efforts to increase your resistance.
Eliminate the fear Of drafts. for in
fluenza is a foul-air disease. 1t is
usually associated with lack of ven-
tilation, closed windows in bedrooms,
etc.
The epidemic now upon us did not
develop until cool weather appeared.
The disease could not make Roadway
while the mild temperature encour-
aged open windows. Superior vitality
requires the full supply of oxygen at
all times. The air you breathe should
approximate as nearly as possible the
purity of the outside atmosphere. If
you have failed to acquire the knowl-
edge necessary for preservation OF
your health. now is the time to begin
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

Heaven remarked the man on the
car, "but it is not for me to say
there will be no profiteers there
Toledo Blade.
We should be grateful not only fer
the good that We have. but also for
the bad that we haven't.-Albany
Journal.
II have no doubt at all l could"
The punster said, raw one.
For l have seen a cord OF wood,
And yet 1 never saw one.
Philadelphia Reco;l.
We have not so far heard any call
for the conservation of secondhand
chewing gum.-Memphis Commercial
Appeal.
ut is said" serves as a starter for
many falsehood that Is uttered for
the first time by the one who uses
the phrase.-Albany Journal.
Every evil temptation resisted adds
a solid block to the foundation OF
haracter,-Toledo Blade.
The attempt to get something fol
nothing generally results in getting
nothing for something. --Floridf
Times-Union.
An eastern clergyman says kissing
is a relic of the dark ages. However
that may be, much of 1t is still done
in the dark. Toledo Blade.
Peace talk may affect the stock
market. but ham and egg prices are
not so sensitive.-Toledo Blade.
Those kind husbands who dry the
dishes for their wives may find refuge
in the government edict that no mar
shall perform work that woman car
baltimore American.
Play a. fast game. Success i:
merely doing something before othel
people think of it.-Philadelphii
Record.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
Belgian Grown Prince Veteran Of Trenches at q

land. The crown prince is the hero
of. his schoolfelloTs, not SO much
because he is of royal blood as that
he has seen rea! service as q soldier
Early in 1915 he was permitted to
enlist in the 18th infantry. and
marched in the ranks with rifle on
his shoulder when the regiment was
reviewed by his father and mother
After that he rook his place in the
trenches, where he served for four
months. He was on several occasions
under fire, and is said to have stood
up under it like man.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
ARTESIA CELEBRATES
ARMISTICE SIGNING
IN SOUTHERN SPIRIT

ESPECIAL CORRESPONDENCE TO MORNING JOURNAL,
Artesia, n. NJ, Nov. 14.-Wilhelm
IS now an ex-kaiser. This fact, with
the signing of the armistice was cele-
DRAFTED here Monday in true southern
form and spirit. Everything that
could be used as an instrument for
noise was requisitioned, and pandi-
monium reigned the day long. Stores
were closed, business suspended and
the street demonstrations were hilar-
ious. In the afternoon a procession
was formed which embraced every
thing with four wheels and a carbu-
rotor, and Main street was literally
choked by people and conveyances. A
stuffed figure representing the ex-kai-
ser, with German helmet, numerous
medals and mustache with ends
shooting upward, was suspended from
an electric wire and afterward shot
down and burned. The artillery and
infantry barrage was continuous
throughout the day but there were
fortunately no casualties,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
GERMAN DOWNFALL IS
FlTTINGLY OBSERVED
BY KELLY CITIZENS

ESPECIAL CONSEQUENCES TO MORNING JOURNAL
Kelly, N. NJ, Nov. IA most i'm
pressive and patriotic demonstration
was given Monday night in the min
ing camp of Kelly. nearly 5000 feet
above the sea- Shut in I'll around
with wall of the dark peaks of the
Magdalena range, the little town lies
on the mountain slope as in a deer
canyon or pocket in the hills One
thousand feet below. the lights OF
Magdalena glimmered in the dark.
ness. Fropf below the sound of bells
and whistles, three miles away, rose
in a paean of joy. From the smelters
great explosions of dynamite shook
the earth while sharp reports Of six
shooters from every home along the
steep street added to the wild excite
ment.
The bells of schools and churches
rang for hours. Women, children and
men thronged the streets weeping
and laughing with joy A crowd OF
boys Selling tin tubs, buckets and
whatever could he beat upon to make
a noise, formed a procession and
marched up and down shouting and
laughing.
Lights flashed here and there
among the mountains and from every
tiny cottage Of the mining folk or the
more pretentious homes of old-time
residents.
Kelly has proven itself a most pa
triotic little town. Numbered among
the casualties in France are several OF
its brave young men. A fine Reo
Cross organization has kept up splen-
did work here. while a huge contin-
gent of the population has generous
ly subscribed to the various Liberty
Loans. Altogether a more picturesque
scene pehaps was not witnessed any
where in the country than most CHAR
acteristic celebration in the heart OF
the great hills.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
OUR FUTURE FOREIGN POLICY

Senator Lewis Of Illinois, who was
recently beaten TO fragile for re.
election after he had been personally
endorsed by the president, believes
the national election of 1920 will turn
upon the question whether the United
states will return to her policy OF
diplomatic isolation with occasional
association with other powers for
specific purposes, or will consum-
mate permanent alliance with chosen
powers to insure permanent peace.
That is a question which we can
scarcely evade;; but it will be determ-
ined for us by events rather than by
deliberate choice at the polls. De-
cisions upon foreign affairs are
rather more thrust upon nation
from without than come at through
the wishes of the voters at home.
We didn't, for instance, choose to
participate in this war. But the world
without left us no choice. What the
necessities of the world situation may
be during the next generation, what
they will compel us to do, rather than
our own inclinations must shape in
evitably our future foreign relations.
or course, if the conception of n
league of nations is realized, we shall
by the fact thereof be involved in
alliances and be burdened with re-
sponsibilities.
Naturally we would prefer our
former status as a nation minding its
own business and devoted to fair
dealing. The advice of George Wash
ington to avoid entangling alliances
and nterferences in European quar-
rels has served us well.
But Washington's policy was more
suited to the eighteenth century,
when there were no cables, slow
transportation and comparatively
little international! trading, Whether
it is suited to conditions of today.
whether it is even practicable today,
is doubtful.
And Washington, practical states
man that he was. would rot symp2-
thize with making fetish Of an out
worn tradition associated with his
name. American statemanship has
generally been sohn1. because it has
been opportunistic in the best sense
of the term. SO las beer British
craftsmanship.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
CUT THIS OUTFIT is WORTH
MONEY.

DON'T MISS THIS. Cut out this
slip, enclose with &c and mail It to
Foley & Co.. 1895 Sheffield Avenue.
Chicago. ILL.,. writing your name and
address clearly. You will receive IN
return a trial package containing
Foley's Honey and Tar Compound
Tor coughs. colds and Group; Foley
Kidney Pills. for pain in sides and
back; rheumatism. backache. kidney
and bladder ailments: and Foley
Cathartic Tablets, wholesome and
thoroughly cleansing cathartic. for
constipation. bilioushess. headache
ana sluggish bowels, Sold every.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

corn on earth peel right off like a banana
shln-and that's magic "Gets-It" Tight
shoes and dancing even when YOU have i
corn need not disturb you II you apply a
Few drops of "Gets-It' on the corn or caius.
You want corn-peeler, not a corn .fooler
You don't have TO fool with corns--you
peel them right off with your fingers by
using "Gets-It." Cutting makes corns grow
and bleed. Why use irritating salves or
make bundle Of your toe with tape or
bandages? Why putter and still have the
corn? Use Gets 1t"--your corn pain Is
rises
"Gets-It'', the guaranteed money back
corn-remover the only sure way, costs but
trifle at any drug store. MID by E. Law
renee & Co., Chicago, III. Sold In Albuquer-
que and recommended as the worlds best
corn remedy by Orwell Drug Co., Butts, Inc.
and Alvarado Pharmacy.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

Crown Prince Leopold, oldest son
of King Albert of Belgium, md whose
official title is Duke of Brabant, has
just passed his seventeenth year. He
has been attending school in England
but on several occasions has worn the
uniform of soldier of the Belgian
army, and has lived Al the front with
his father, the heroic king who is
about to regain his country The
crown prince has a 15-year- BROTH
er, Prince Charles, and Il sister, Prin-
cess Marie lose, aged twelve, both of
whom are also being educated in Eng
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

other great muntion factories of
Germany should be dismantled. SO
long as such plants exist their owners
will be trying to foment war between
nations in order to sell their products.
At the same time no people should
be deprived of their right to work
and to- enjoy the poducts of their
labor
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
War Workers strike.

New York, Nov. 14.-Workmen en-
ployed in government construction in
Brooklyn went on strike today be.
cause of termination of overtime and
Sunday work. With overtime and
Sunday work the men have been MAX
ing about $57 weekly.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
Seven Generals Discharged.

Washington, Nov 14.-Honoraole
discharge from the grade of general
officer of seven brigadier generals
now on duty with the American expe-
dictionary forces, was announced w.
day by the war department. Briga-
der Generals Charles T., Martin. Ma
thanieI f. Mcclure. Robert II; Noble
Gordon g. Heller. Frederick :. foiz
James A.. Shipton and George w
Gatchell are returned to their former
rank of colonel General Gatcheii Is
under orders to return to the United
States,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
STUFFED UP WITH
"A BAD COLD2'
Get busy with a bottle Of
Dr.. Kings New Discovery
at once

Coughs, colds and bronchial attacks
they are all likely to result in danger.
Gus aftermaths unless checked in time.
And how effectively and quickly DR..
Kings New Discovery helps to do the
checking work! Inhamed, irritated
membranes are soothed, the mucous
phlegm loosened freely, and quiet.
restful sleep follows. 60c and $l.20.
Alldruggists have it. Sold since 1869
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
Mayo Received by King.

italian Army Headquarters, Nov.
IS "wednesday, by the Associated
Press Admiral Henry T. Mayo,
commander of the American Atlantic
fleet, visited Venice today and was re-
ceived by King Victor Emmanuel.
Later the admiral left for Paris.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

1t will be well for the hospital ships
to keep a sharp lookout. To torpedo
one of them would be sort of second
nature for a returning German sub
marine
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
ISLANDERS, Walkers,
"Gets-It" for Coras

World Has Never Known Its Equal.
What will get rid Of my corns?" The
answer has been made by millions--theres
only one corn-remover that you can bank
ON, that's absolutely certain. that makes any
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
Consultation En1acipation

No more lazy bowels, yellow COM
piextion, sick headache, indigestion.
embarrassing breath, when you use as
corrective DR.. Kings New Life Pills.
They systematic the system and keep
the world looking cheerful. Csc,
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15
AUDIT OF STATE LAND
OFFICE FOR LAST 9
YEARS IS COMPLETED
srse,.l eo.srsrono.ne. 70 .o.a,sa .ou.n.,,

@pse'Al co"aEsronDsncs TO sosn,sd JouaNAL)
Santa Fe, Nov. Ex-Governor w.
E. Lindsey has made public the re-
suit of the audit of the State Land
Office for the past nine years just
completed by the travelling auditor
and Director Rupert f. Asplund of
the Taxpayers Association. The audit
gives the late Commissioner of Pub
lis Lands r. P. Ervien, a clean bill
finding his accounts balanced to the
penny and kept in exemplary manner.
The total array of figures on income
of the office, of lands belonging to
the state and the expenditures of the
office are of intense interest to every
citizen of the state.
If soft answer does not turn away
wrath a hard nnnch is at once ~
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

Let us hope that the high cost OF
living will follow the example OF the
unsuitable ship" 1t went down.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

And even Ludendorff didn't amount
to so much, when his strategy had to
meet that of Ferdinand Foch.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1918-11-15

If soft answer does not turn away
wrath a hard punch is at once in
order.-Albany Journal.