Evening journal., 1918-11-26

happiest person in the world. now. aren't
you. reallya Yes you have your diff
culties-and rearing a son is gigantic
difficulty, all mothers agree on that He
may be headstrong; most real boys are.
He may be nerve-racl<ingly boisterous;
he wouldn't be half boy il he weren't.
He may go in" for vociferous neckties
that put your good taste to shame: all
boys do that at some time or other in
their lives. But worst Of all. he may no'
give you his confidence; that is partly
your fault. II is possible for any rnothes
TO win the confidence of her son pro
viding she brings all her tact. all her
sweetness, all her patience. all her moth
er instinct to the task.
II is about confidence that would
speak for that Is the rocl-bottom foun-
dation Of successful boy training. In the
very young child. boy or girl. confidence
in mother is second nature. Every sin
gle little hurt new plan. question. al are
brought before tho maternal court
regret to say. though. that the maternal
court is not always the most sympathetic
place nor always the most just place Of
decision. Sometimes il gives YOU per
feetly oorlSing hearing. but two months
later il sees M 10 renew The whole un-
beautiful scene when you had quite for
gotten all about il No wonder the
small boy locks his lips at such open
abuse of his confidence.
Now. do not mean TO imply that all
mothers arc like the much maligned
stepmother; that they are cruel and un-
sympathetic to a degree; or that they
are Intentionally unjust and knowingly
responsible for their sons lack Of con-
denoe in them. But do want to tell
these same mothers that they arc very
often thoughtless where they should be
most thoughtful; and that they are re-
sponsible for the lack Of confidence on
the part of their boys.
But there IS consolation in the knowi-
edge that confidence once lost may with
the exercise Of tact and patience be re-
gained. OF course. this is pretty much
impossible after the teens" but il is
pre-eminently probable before that To
begin with the mother must appreciate
the value of confidence in character
building, and then she must appreciate
the confidence as it is given. II is NOT
sufficient to say to ones self How for
tunate | am In having a son who tells
me everything" and then show only a
forced interest in what is being told IL
necessary drop everything before you
while YOU give the little matter at hand
your whole attention. Reason things
out with the little fellow and then sug-
gest advice-remenlber suggest" Oh
what a tremendous influence for good
YOU can exert here. Just think OF the
golden opportunity that you have TO in
eulcate sound principles, high ideals and
a right idea Of things in general
Once you have proved yourself sym
pathetic listener, and wise Judge. do
not spoil Il all by referring to the un-
pleasant matter some time later. Learn
10 drop a thing, and perfect wealth Of
trust is yours without the asking. An
other great help in winning the much
coveted trust is in getting the boys
viewpoint of the situation. In other
words, prove yourself real "chum." In
the exercise of the "ehumuy' spirit the
mother is all-powerful as a character
moulder.
Why have I not spoken Of the daugh-
ter's conhdencel Simply because deal
too much thought is given 10 the up
bringing Of the daughter with the result
that the boy Of the house just grows up
of his own accord like any other weed
Why. nine mothers out of ten will tel
Won that the girl is much more OF .
nroblem than the boy. As far as that
GOES. both are pretty equally problemat-
ical propositions. But why the girls
friends should be chosen for her while
the boy picks up" his must ever remain
a mystery to those who disregard sex
distinction when it is question OF
morals.
Mary simply has to discontinue her
acquaintance with "that young man.
because he is not the right sort for her
Must John discontinue his acquaintance
with "that young woman" for the same
reason9 Unfortunately for all con-
cerned, mother has never once laid eyes
ON the young woman friend Of Johns
In all probability. John is the victim OF
a much-abused confidence He rarely If
ever was given an honest hearing. And
il he were he was dead sure to get an
other some times when he least wanted
to hear it. Now is he honestly to blame
for making his own decision in every
thing unadvised9
On the other hand. suppose John has
known the JOY of mothers under
standing. Doubtless every one OF
John's young women friends would be
as familiar to his mother as are the
Young men friends of Mary. And IT'S
Wise mother who looks to her sons
a feminine acquaintanoes. The day OF
!, . treatipp the wild oats period as a nor
.,aI evidence of adolescence is over
y ~" s.,ven. But there still remain
II uldhN "~ - ,,,ho are naffl fully b.