davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

EVen woman with shape like the pack of hack likes man to make a fuss over her some day smart man will invent a corset With lid on the top, to prevent stout women from webbing when they walk.
 l always pity little baby when I see US mother dolled up in waist that buttons up the back. Some fool girls queer the game; saw one yesterday with the right side of her oust three inches higher than the left side.
 Whenever I~see a flock of pretty girls In their midsummer draperies, I feel like gong over and voting the Mormon ticket.
 When two married women get real chummy they tell one another secrets that would make their husbands blush. Every time man sees a bowlexged girl inc one of the tight clinging skirts ciety.
 The man who hollers because it takes ms wlfe so lcne to doll herseuf up holisfs twice as loudly if she doesn't look as neat as other women A farmer has an idea that all a store
 
 When man has a recipe for gettina rich quick you will soon discover that the recipe consists of selling the recipe to you and million other suckers The fact that boys will be boys is nc excuse for their acting like hoodlums. Men and fish have one thing in common. Both are likely to be caught if they don't keep their mouths closed. The fellows who waste the most time in this world are the fellows, whoJe time is not their own A bachelor feels sorry for man who is getting married because he figures 1 that the poor boob has sense enough to fee. sorry for himself. In some lands a high forehead is a sign of intellect. But in this country you can't tell whether the fellow with the massive. noble dome is a professor or garbage wagon driver. The heroines in the passionate best sellers never get up with headaches in the morning. But 1t, Is different with women in real life. It ism the way you look at other women that makes your wife mad. It IS the way you don't look at her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
Prize Winning Pigs
 For the State Fair

6NHE increasing interest in pig
 U clubs in Alabama should be re- flected in the pig exhibits at Bir- mingham's State Fair in October. The displays last year were large and valuable, but they should be still larger this year.
 The Alabama extension service is giving especial attention to the man. ner of preparation of prize winning pigs. c. R. Bowen, who is looking after this department of service work, has issued directions for feeding and caring for prize porkers, and if these dir ections are carefully followed every pig grower will be a winner.
 Each pig should be sent to the fair in a well constructed crate provided with trough for feed and water; and when shipping by rail the crate should bear the sign, "Please feed me-"
 MT. Bowen closes his circular of advice to pig club members thus: Remember that a courteous herds man is good advertisement for a herd. Therefore, when at the fair answer all questions as thoroughly as possible"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Dixon a Roy Again

II went up to my old home, out eight miles from Columbia, recently to see my mother. who Is In her seventy eighth year, said F. W. Dixon. "and l just did the things I was brought up to do as boy.
 went around and gathered the eggs. drove up the cows. fed the stock, and just pottered around the farm. It was great rest. A boy is crazy to get en the farm and go to town, but after he spends the best part of his life in the hurrly burly of the city, when he stops to figure it all out, there comes a longing to get back close to na- ture.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
THE BAND.

From the New York Sun.
 TIT is odd how changing times-et nos H mutamur in illis-also~ change the = values and pertinence of even true humor. Once upon a time, not so very long ago. some genius wrote satirical poem involving the bandsman; if memory serves me correctly, it was Tudor Jenks or John Kendrick Bangs; it ought .to have been the latter to maintain the fit- ress of things. The poem began: A little man bought him big bass drum.
 Boom! Boom!! Boom!!! For who knows. said he. when war
 may come?
 Boom: Boom! aBoom!!! And should be called on to fight for my
 iand
 want to be ready to play in the band
 Boom! Boom! Boom!!!
 Nowadays the implications from such concept of the bandsman have become day telling of the advance of an Amer. ican battalion near the Marne, taking with them g bandsmen to act as stretcher bearers Theoretically noncombat- ants. but very much in the thick of it. And the report of the Fourth of July pa- rade of marines in Paris recorded that the boys were greatyl disappointed be cause their band could not lead them. since so many of the musicians were iii hospital" having been wounded in theil service.
 Anybody who imagines the whole serv. ice of military band consists in leading parade or giving concert in a rest station has much to learn. The next time you see a little man pumping big bass drum or a leatner-lunged giant cracking his cheeks to blast thunderous noise out of an appalling brass horn' don't put him dowh as one Who mas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10

picked an easy service. Quite likely he is looking for a chance to grab rifle, when emergency calls, or to volunteer for the hardest of all duties on real battlefield
 The classic instance of Jakin and Lew, in Kipling's Drums of the Fore ana Aft" is perhaps bit out of date, as the
 men are not often played into action"
 nowadays, but the spirit of those two i'm. mortal imps lives as vitally as ever. All
 hoonr now to the man who wants ito be ready to play in the band"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
ARGo OF AVIATION
m the Mobile Register.

From the Mobile Register.
 Here are some more words from abroad: An egg is an ava1tion re- cruit; ''vulture" is an airman who is
 on the way to become "goopher," and a "goopher," if he has the right stun in him, may be "gimper." A "gimper" lis one who doesn't dodge. and who stands by when the odds are heavy. He is not reckless, but at the same time
 he takes risks; and on no account will
 he abandon his associate who is in diff tfculty and being strafed. "gimper." in short. is straight goods. and a man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
Volunteer Relief Association


 Members of the Volunteer Relief as- sociation who have fostered the work of the War Savings campaign in this state have been most unselfish when I have called upon them" said Mrs. Richard Johnston, state director of the woman's division.
 One of the hottest days this week I was anxious to send in the mail IA packages of literature and instructions, Every package had to be wrapped, tied and addressed. phoned Katherine Nor row and Augusta Clark, chairman of the Volunteer Relief association, and together in about half an hour they had seven girl members of their oreaniza- tion at the office, and the consequence was that by night we had every piece of mail on it's way to the various coun- ties in the state.
 Alabama girls have always been ready to cooperate in all war work, but until the Volunteer Relief associa tion became responsible for the wom- ans war savings plan they were not. as body, given something to do and as body held responsible for a specific branch of war work. They are now proving their patriotism and their worth in this work and feel that I made no mistake when I asked the wives' sisters and friends of the boys over there to foster. especially as their own, this phase of war work. By the end Of the year when the final account Ing is made I think MT. Johnson, our Alabama director, will see that the young women have born their part in the organization"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
When Bayonets Supplant
 the "SOciable Razor''

Ml[TRITING to the New York
 w Times, Charles H. Grasty, former proprietor of the Baltimore Sun, who is now one of the most prominent war correspondents abroad, says officers returning from the front tell amazing stories about the prowess of American colored troops with the bayonet.
 Colored contingents brigaded with General Gouraud's army east of Rhemis have slaughtered such large numbers of Germans with the bayonet, and have shown such proficiency in using it, surpassing all other troops in this kind of fighting, that they , have won the unstinted praise of their French officers.
 Americans who know the partiality of the colored brother for his depend able razor will not be surprised to hear that he has adapted himself to the bayonet. Cold steel has ever been his choice and in it's use he has shown himself foe to be reckoned with.
 The assurance that a German, while not flinching under gunfire, cannot stomach cold steel, has been made by so many correspondents that we may accept it as true. It is easy to imagine how little to Fritz's liking is husky dark man from America, uttering fearsome cries and using his bayonet with the same dexterity it was his wont to show in happier days back home when he used his. trusty blade to "carve" friend.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
PROOF TO THE CoNrRARY,

Y dars say you would do the best you could for my daughter, but want her to marry young man with brains"
 "Why-er-T thought had some brains. sir?"
 I'm afraid not If you had, you wouldn't think you could support her in the style to which she confidently looks forward on salary of $12oo year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
MUST SAVE HERSELF

From the Charleston News and Courier
 The Rescue of Russia is the way, the Washington Post puts it. Nonsense. Russia can't be rescued. She las to save herself. That is what she is beginning to do. She needs our help and we can help her and without our help she might not succeed; but unless she helps herself our assistance will be in vaIn The prin- cipal reason for believing m her early redemption is the fact that she Is be- ginning to help herselY
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
Cooper's Efficient
 Service Appreciated

NSlT the four candidates for asso- " ciate member of the public service commission, formely the rail- road commission, two are to be elected, and B. H. Cooper of Birmingham, now serving, should be, and doubtless will be, one of them.
 He is the only candidate north of Montgomery offering before the demo- cratic primary, and this fact alone should count for something, for the interests in this section of the state requiring the attention of the com mission are varied and important; but what is directly in MT. Cooper's favor is the faithful and intelligent service he has rendered during his three years incumbency.
 As railroad commissioner his prac- tical business sense stood him in good stead and when the scope of the com mission was enlarged so as to include all public service he brought to bear his knowledge of utilities affecting
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, am happy when I remember Thy patience with me. Thou hast for given my sins, Thou hast borne with my ignorance and weakness. Thou hast labored with me and spent Thy skill upon me. And my soul sings with confidence that Thou will not fOrsake me, that Thou wilt still M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10

held Tn abeyance, will make steady
 demand for skilled labor.
 The new era of prosperity just ahead of us will be of unprecedented proportions. The industrial plants of the Birmingham district-those now going and those in prospect-will have to be enlarged and others built. There w1il be no such word as overproduc- tlo1- Tn the near future. The matter of vital interest will be adequate devel- |opment of our raw material. # * *
 The story of a British tank chasing a
 German general down a road might be
 more credible if it were customary for
 German generals to venture under fire. However, as this was a retreat the gen. eral may not have been able to show as
 much speed as his soldiers did. * ,s # Stars and Stripes rebukes a correspond ent who sought to disparage field clerks. With superguns following here and there
 in the battle zone a field clerk is apt tc
 be under fire, no matter where he hap
 pens to be keeping his accounts < I. < < The prospect of men over 35 years old
 being required to register has sent large
 numbers of confirmed bachelors scur-
 rying to the altar accompanied by fe.
 males who don't care what happens to them
 Lloyd George points out that the per. sons responsible for the war still control Germany. In other words, there is little hope of peace for the world until the
 war lords are shunted into oblivion. $ a: * A contemporary declares that some l people never read anything but newspa. pers and advertisements. Worse still some of them never get any farther than
 the headlines. Perhaps the commanders of those U-boats which occasionally sink small
 unarmed vessel off the Atlantic coas, ! think they are playing havoc with Amer. l ican shipping.
 l Many fond mother who is not dis
 mayed by most of the perils and hard ships of war, can't resist a shudder when
 she thinks of her darling boy exposed :, to cooties.
 The report that Austrian officers se- cretly rejoice at the discontinue of the
 Prussians is probably true Prussians
 haven't many warm friends, even in Ger
 many.
 l Letters of recommendation written by | Mr. Wilson when he was president oi | Princeton remind us that there was q 1 time when his nickname was "Prexy..' + 4 * In calling the recent suffrage demon stration before the White House silly and disloyal affair." the Washington Star covers the ground thoroughly. * * * Hades how much friction develops be- tween Crown Prince Rupprecht and
 Grown Prince Frederick William. # * T ~ You conld hardly expect the meat pack.
 CTS to see any good reason why Uncle
 Sam should take over their business ard
 run it to suit himself. x ~ H Won Ludendorff suddenly decided to
 conserve the blood of his soldiers after
 great dea. of it had been spilled in vain.
 Lets go" is the motto of American
 soldiers in France. Let's go whither!
 Why. to Berlin, of course! * x % Does anybody know just how many
 governments there are in Russia at the present writinro
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
DRIFTING.

Some day he'd set the world agog- That was his dream; But now he's just a floating log
 Upon life's stream.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
"w. S. s.. Soldier

"I have received new name since I renee company" said Miss Carey Hotch- kiss. county chairman for the woman's division at Courtland. "An old country
 man came to me and said, T want to see this woman soldier. I felt pleased be-
 cause while I am not fighting as our
 boys are in Europe, I am giving all
 my time to the war savings work and
 in my own way trying to be sol dier'"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMEsssss
SEE THERMOMETER

 How wearisome to Dat the ball." By which we mean work hard-do all That is required of us each rday No duties shirking, come what may. successive waves of heat assaiI, We drag along, without avail, Attempt to simulate an air Of briskness-outwardly to bear Ourselves with still unfiagging zeal. No use. By languor seized, We feel Undone, tagged out, run down, depressed. With gloomy thoughts our souls pos
 sessed, And as we mop our steaming brows First one and then another vows There's nausht to do but seex a fan And curse the hapless weather man,
 FANCY WRITING. You might write line or two abou, the circus parade said the city editor to the cub reporter.
 "Yes, sir. I'm off"
 Just minute. If you happen to men, tion the fact that the circus has a dozeE or more cameis, you needn't call them ships of the desert.''' ''
 NATURAL MISTAKE. < "But this profiteer protests that he heard his country's call and responded g He misunderstood the summons.- How was that?"
 "He thought hts country called him to the public trough"
 MEAN ALLEGATION. 'she gays she will put up with her hus- band no longer.~
 What's the trouble?- "she claims he sat around the house the entire summer in his B. V. D.'s'' And what defense does he maker" "A good one, I think. He says she is so disagreeable they never had a visitor who might have been shocked by his ap- pearance."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
RUFFLED.

T wish I knew as much about the an. cient Chaideans as Professor Diggs.'' said Gabson. whose favorite topic of con- versation is the war.
 What good would it do you to know anything about the ancient Chaldeansr. T would at least have subject could Aleck correct my pronunciation of proper names every few minutes"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

STEAKS FOR ITSELF. Why do you call this moonshine liuuor white lightning" - Have you ever had a drink of the stuff?'
 No"
 T thought not. Otherwise you would not have thought it worth while to ask such question"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
Fond of Dove Hunting

T recently went on dove hunt with my friend G. R. Ward" said W. F. Tyler, president of the Tyler Grocery company.
 We went out from Greensboro and had fine sport.
 T am very fond of dove shooting. Of course every bird hunter who goes much into the field knows that there is all the difference in the world in shoot ing doves and cartridges. I know some fne quail shooters who make a poor showing in a dove field, and vice-versa- think a young dove is the sweetest meat in the world"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
Patriotism Should Be Taught

 T read in the hotel lobby column of today's Age-Herald about the little patriot saluting his country's flag that was in downtown shop window, and want to say I was pleased by the in- cident not being passed up unnoticed,' said Hale Tarrant
 You know we cannot give too much attention to the patriotism of American boys and girls, which spirit is the finest and prettiest thing know of. We not only find it in our homes, but we discover it on the streets and in pie ture shows, and feel inspired by it everywhere.
 So far as our homo town kiddies are concerned, pr. J. H. Phillips and his assistants have certainly done their full duty in making patriots. If you don't believe 1t you just start something With boy or girl of the public schools. have tried the experiment. with my 13-year daughter, and know what am talking about"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10
HIS WATERLOO.

Jack was nimbie, Jack was quick, Jack could dodge a flying brick.
 But when it came to motor cars.
 They often made poor Jack see stars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10

TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connecting all departmental Main 49O0.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-10

My heart beats in genuine sympathy for the poor and the oppressed at home
 and abroad. but I do not believe that socialism is the panacea that can cure
 our social. economic, or political ills. I believe in an educated and organized democracy which has been won through Iyears of struggle and sacrifice here in our countrywide kind which Woodrow Wilson wants to give as Americas best gift to the world. This is why I have the right as a voter to call in question the public rec lord of George Huddleston. who has failed to show an adequate degree of political intelligence to line up whole Iheartedly behind President Wilson, the worlds greatest democrat; but who in his own way has seen fit to1nject into lhis speeches ideas which are incom- patible with democratic doctrine, and by his vote on one occasion imperiled the democratic organization of the House.
 The democratic movement is a vast Icofnplexity of living forces which cannot be reduced to a formula and labeled a cure-all for all our ills. socMl, eco- homie and political. and doped out by socialists. Democracy is solid and massive political stream tenderly wa tered not only by the tears Of our fore fathers but sealed in their blood. and IT am unwilling to barter my political ibirthright for mess of pottase brewed by George HuddlAston or to be repre- sented by him if he is not ashamed to call himself or be called social dem lcrat.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1918-02-08
LEWIS DEFENDS
WORK OF BAKER
WORK OF BAKER-New IS pit

WORK OF BAKER-New Is pit
ATLANTA, Ga, Feb. 8.-That Ger
man submarines are liable to bob VI
airy day in Atlantic coast harbors and
shell big buildings with great loss OF
life and property, was the prediction
made here yesterday by James Hamil-
ton Lewis, the famous United States
Senator from Illinois. He also pour
ed hot shot into the critics of the war
department., declaring Secretary Baker
took charge of a decrepit piece of ma
chinery and in six months built it up
to point of such wonderful efficien
cy that it has accomplished in less
than a year what it took England's war
department more than two and half
years to accomplish.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1918-02-08
GERMAN DEATH RATE
GREATLY INCREASED

Amsterdam, Jan. 31.-(Correspon-
dence of the Associated Press y
From the beginning of the war up
to the end of 1916 there were over a
million more deaths in Germany than
is normally the case," says the Berlin
correspondent of the Massbode in a
statement on the effects of the war on
the vital and population statistics of
the German Empire.
For the first three years." con-
tinues the writer, "the entire loss by
mortality is said to have been $780,
600. Thus instead of the normal in
crease of 100000 there was on Au-
| gust 1, 1917, decrease of 100000, to
which another 100000 was added as a
result of the decline in birth figures
that still continues. The absolute de-
crease in the population after three
years therefore would have been two
| per cent. of the number at the be-
ginning of the war.
"Other phenomena are to be expect
ed for the near future. Instead of
100000 the men between the ages
! of II and As will only number 12,-
| 100000 and instead of 100000 as
now, the excess of women over men
will be 100000. 1t is not yet known
how the war losses will be spread oV-
er the various ages, but it looks as
if there will be LOO women to every
| 1000 men of manageable age. Fol
these reasons, and in view of the fact
that there will be large. number OF
invalids among the men, the marriage
| chances must be termed greatly re
duced, fact which will in it's turn
produce further shiftings on the labor
market, that on their part will again
react on the population movement.
1.-THE war is not regarded-at any
rate by experts-as harmful for IN
| fants. Natural feeding is far more
general than formerly in all classes
of the population, and the results are
Egood, as the food authorities appor
ton to the mother the food for the
child as for example, one litre o.
milk per day. Infants have right
to one litre of milk daily, fifty
grammes of sugar and 200 grammes
Of flour a week, and one pound o.
oatmeal month, and can do well or
that.
"The food question becomes more
difficult in the child's second year
las vegetables and fruits are scarce