Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-12-13
Little Talks by
Beatrice FdirfdT

who believe that 1t isn't wise for q ,
young man to marry woman older
than himself.
I'm not speaking, of course, of
slight discrepancy in age, a mere |
matter of n year or so. But 1t is, |
l confess a point for debate whether |
boy of twenty, for example, |
should love and link himself for |
life to the woman who has reached |
thirty.
The conventional notion is that n |
bride should be year or two |
younger than her husband. And as
u girl usually natures more rap
idly than a boy. this is equivalent |
to the lovers being of the same age. |
AS n matter of fact, it is more |
natural for youths and maidens to
be attracted by their age equals. |
Youth calls TO youth. Those of a
common age speak a common lam
guage and use symbols drawn from
funds of similar experience.
For the average young man and
woman this is the whole story.
These feel no conflicting attraction,
they don't have any serious prob
lens, and their relatives and friends
don't meet in panicky groups to
discuss whether a little purely
benevolent sand shall not be thrown
in the wheels of the too madly run
ming love machine.
But it's the exceptional case that
I'm speaking of. The case of the
youth who has grown up faster
than his years. Very likely he has
an artistic leaning. He's thought
full and a devourer of books, but.
he's immensely curious, too, about
life. He has plenty of friends
among girls of his own age. He
has even fancied himself in love
with one or two. But he does find
them juvenile and just bit insipid,
and the gifts he mainly wants from
life they can't begin to give him.
Then comes the older woman's
turn. And If she's the right kind of
woman, if she has wisdom and
judgment and charm, she can teach
her young lover more than he can
learn in any other way. It's like
going to the University of Para
disc. with hundred separate
courses of enchantment. OF course
the enraptured student can't endure
that there shall be an end of this.
He wants nothing less than to ,
marry his wise and lovely teache"s
and live in utter bliss for9 tr
afterward.
It's at this point that friends and
advisers step in.
The boy is warned that he'll ruin
his life, that marriage with an older
woman is unnatural and sure to be
disastrous.
The woman is told that she's TAX
ing an unfair advantage. And they
try to frighten her with the
prophecy that before her lover has
spent his hot-blooded youth, she'll
begin to feel draughts, and be con-
scious that her eyesight is falling.
It's by no means easy to marry in
the face of so much opposition. If
they do, it's for the best of reasons
in the world-that they're pro-
foundly in love and can't do without
each other.
Love Alone Matters
And to my mind, this is the only
point that matters, anyway.
II genuine love springs up be-
tween a man and a woman, this |
one wonderful fact does away with |
all inequalities. Inequalities or
Social place, of talent, of expert |
ence-yes, even of age. If love is
real, l am sufficiently a believer in |
its magic to trust the mere time |
of ten years disparity in age to |
take care of itself.
Indeed, l even go farther than
this. 1 believe that for certain tenn
peraments marriage where the wire
is older than the husband mas
positive advantage.
There's a type of man, or of boy,
who instinctively reaches out for
woman who shall be much more to
him than pride-who shall be friend
tutor. even, in certain way a
mother. -,
He isn't interested in the job OF
dominating a plant young brlde
who will make a point of knowing
only what he teaches her.
He wants, if not exactly TO De
dominated himself, at least to be
Inspired, and sheltered, and nour-
ished with a large, dynamic love.
And don't you think that the
woman who does all this for 'her
Youthful husband is sure to md
deep happiness in doing 1t? It's
rather a complicated business TO De
a wife under these conditions. II
demands skilled labor. And such a
laborer isn't at all likely TO get
bored.
Every woman who loves man
feelsy somewhat of the mother-urge
tOWaTQ ullllt NiI1SS'SA
NAV be. In cases where she
definitely older, this element OF her
love becomes more apparent. But
it's only an element even then. For
if the two are mother and son TO
each other in the morning they are
friends and comrades at noon ana
purely lovers at evening.
Is Her Beauty Fading?
i've watched such marriages. AND
I've found them remarkably sue
cessf,ll Because a wife of this sort
gives her husband so much that is
real he isn't watching to- see
whether the rose of her cheek has
ever so slightly faded. l believe ne
isn,t even aware when it does fade.
she's painfully conscious of 1t
herself. probably. This Is a poign-i
ant little anxiety that an older wife
hos "a hear. HAS he noticedY" she
asks herself as she looks in the
mirror; "Will he notice2 VIII he
love me less?"
Doubtless love marriages some
times occur when there is consld-
erably more disparity of age than
in those 1 have been speaking OF:
Rut don't feel that any general
law can be based on cases which
are so rare. - H.,
dett- -Coutts, for instance dlter she
had become an old lady, horrlIea
and estranged her lifelong trlend'
Queen Victoria, by marrying youth
In his twenties, l shouldn't thlhK
it necessary to beg all well-pre-
- NJ !