davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1918-03-31

in this free verse movement poetry
has been unshackled and has run
away There aren't any real poets
down here. Now if the upper world
only had me to fall back on it would
be different. My! What wouldn't I do
with this situation! Imagine a lofty.
swinging period beginning
Imperious .Billam bounced and turned to mud.
Hath bit the dust with dull and sckening thud,
And madly shrieks the wild tempestuous storm
As hurtling through his martial vermiform
IT guess we've had enough of that,
Willie" said Homer Stuff of that sort
might make you more popular on
Broadway. but it don't go here. I
wasn't talking of blank verse. and es-
pecially such blankety- blank blank
verse as that, but the real thing, such
as Virgil and / used to write"
"Or possibly t. interposed Milton.
"Or maybe me-" said Tennyson. "Ah,
what wouldn't / give to write another
Iocklsey Hall up to date! I can al
most hear it ringing in my ears now:
In the spring fte young mans fancy lightly
turns to thoughts of Huns.
While he wades from Ypres to Nancy. needless
of the shotted gun.
Dropping thoughts of love and Maytime, drop
ping dreams Of Cupid's spell
Thinking only night and daytime how to give
the kaiser Eeil.'
TOO light. too light" said Dr. John
son, impatiently Wouldn't do at all.
/ ought not to have to tell you. Alfred.
that war poem should hold the boom
and thunder Of war, and not the tinkle-
tankle of the ballroom"
"PreeciseIy,'' said Horace. "Pree-
cisely. Locksley Hall may suggest the
bood-war, but not the strenuous kind.
we are talking about. Now, personally,
/ think old Jack Milton is the only real
guy for war poetry in this bunch. Mil
tonic splendor is dema manded-something
that runs along with all the inexorable
get-there-osity of one of those British
tanks"
Thank you. Horny, dear" said Milton,
Evening star., 1918-03-31

deny that YOU were a German instead
of claiming you as a bright jewel IN
Germania's crown, as they have peeh
doing OF late years"
x 4
Il should worry" said Shakespeare.
'"The fact is it has CALLED me Ike the
dickens to have them class me as the
German product anyhow. You can
search me. walt, and if you find the
words made IN Germany etched any
where on my person III let you erase
1t with blue yitricl, and / won't take
any ether while you're doing it.
don't mind their saying that Adam was
a PrUssian. and they can have Ananias
and Jonah if they want EN-. but not
yours truly. Me? y German? l like
tlnt., , .,.z uaso,t
it with all my soul"
"And smite the bloomin' Tyre that
said it, eh. Home?" said Dante
'You have said it. Alligator, you
have said it," returned Homer.
my name is Alighieri. not Alligator, =
retorted Dante. angrily.
20, what's the difference? Who cares?'
said Homer, carelessly.
81 do. and there's a lot of difference"
replied Dante. when man has
worked as hard as I have to make a
name for himself he doesn't care to
have it pied by careless conlpositor.'
''You see. Homer" interposed Doc
tor Johnson. Dante was himself the
author of his own greatness. He
wasn't like you. who never would have
been heard of but for your translators."
That's it," cried Shakespeare, COM
ing valiantly to Homer's rescue. We
always owe our greatness to somebody
else A man. no sooner pulls off an Inn
mortal stuntrthan he finds he didn't do
it at all, but that the whole thing was
the work of some retiring mollycoddle
nobody ever heard OF before. But don't
you mind. Honey. They've tried the
same trick with me- and let me tell you,
old man. it's good press-agent stun.
Every time any boob rises up to deny
that you wrote your own works, 1t puts
you hack on the front page with Teddy
Roosevelt and the bolsheviki. Aknd ana
Evening star., 1918-03-31
apo 1 FIND .FoRsYTHE IN HIS

that the entertainers don't get lost, and
that the little dinner favors are put
around, and all those details. So must
have help"
1 could see Mr.. Robert rollin' his eyes
around for me, so l steps up. Just
from hearin' her talk a couple of min
utes I'd caught the fever. That's way
she has. 1 understand. So the next
thing I knew I'd been patted on the
shoulder and taken on as a volunteer.
Precisely the sort of assistant was
hoping for. says Miss German. Il can
tell by his hair. I know just what I
shall ask him to do. But there'1 be so
much more; decorating the tables,
and
Here 1 nudges Mr.. Robert. How
about Forsythe?" l suggests.
"Eh?" says he. "Why-why- By
Jove, though! Why not? OH. say.
Forsythe! Just a moment"
Maybe the same thought struck him
as had come to me, which is that
helpin' Miss Jane give blowout to
near seven hundred soldiers wouldn't
Evening star., 1918-03-31

those cute little ribbon counter Eliza
bethans. but I'd ring you up on the
phone. ana I'd say: 'Jakey old man.
this is no job for a milk-fed nag like
Pegasus I'm offering you. but sixty
horsepower road tractor stunt HE
thee to the Pierian garage. load up
with forty gallons of three star gas.
and go to it" Herrick for sonnet to
y lady's shoestriug. but for Armaged-
den give me old Jake Mil
Generally speaking. thee is right,
said William Penn. but as z Quaker !!
feel that John would do the job too we'll
for the comfort of the word. He
would make war sublime"
"And so it is sublime" sad Shakes-
Reare. "At least this one is. Hnd we
want to keep it so. You wouldn't have
that's your object Edward Lear would
be the poet for you with his limericks.
Something like:
There smart toot nt Pots-dam,
Who said: I'm the only l ann
Rat when put to the proof,
He slid from the roof
To the earth with sickening SIAM
"Nonsenser' said DIR. Johnson
Sure it's nonsense" retorted Shakes
peace. "And if l may say so. it's darn
good nonsense"
You ought to give us one on Won Tir-
pitz. Willie" said Nelson, with laugh.
THAT" said Shakespeare, "is impos-
sible. You may be able to drive a
needle through camers eye. but you
can't squeeze Won "Trip into poetry He
can't be made to At. The only way you
could get that old boy into poetry
would be to chuck him overheard in
midocean and then write a poem on the
ocean. Now Won Hindenbug is differ
ent.
There was an old murderer Snug
Whose name 1t was Hinden Bug.
When they caught him they said
Don't let's cut on his head,
nrf frvaf of hfuv1 .Yu,ff1 tI,&k
It's possibly deyiiish tough
To treat the old savage SO rough,
But we think the whole
For the good OF his soul
It's punishment cruel enough.
"You want to be careful, Shakes
peare," grinned Sir Walter Raleigh
iIf those lines should ever trickIt
1hrough to Potsdam the Junker1 would
Evening star., 1918-03-31
Wouldn't Wash.

MwEN wISTER. the novelist was
Otalking about the mo annexation,
no indemnities" peace that the Ger
mans offered the bolsheviks.
.aThe German peace wouldn't wash." |"
said Mr.. wister TT reminds me Of .
Manayunk horse dealer.
piebald horse. He visited horse deal
er up in the Blocks. and the dealer the
next day produced beautiful piebald-
half cream and half black-that the
man bought at q stiff price. But the
first time he drove his new purchase In
the park rain came on. and the spots
washed OF.
'The man drove straight up 70 ths
dealers again.
aIook at that horser he said. The
rain has taken all the spots on
sThe dealer smiled In an odd way.
Good gracious he said. 30 u hast
There was q rubber blanket went with
the animal, sir. Did I forget to gty1
You = rubber hlanket< s, IS s
Evening star., 1918-03-31

tackin' it on: and that the camp cooks
will have the range ovens full Of
bread and the tops covered with oat-
meal in double boilers as usual Out
side of that and few other things. the
arrangements was lovely.
Miss Jane amt bit disturbed when
I makes my report.
"There. says she. Didn't / say you
were just the assistant l needed? Now,
please tell all those things to the
brigadier He will know exactly what
to do. Then you'd best be out here
early Monday morning to see that
they're done properly. And 1 think.
Torchy. l shall make you my general
manager for this occasion. Yes. I'll
do it. Every one will report first to
you, and you will tell them exactly
where to go and what to do
'You-you mean" says I. gaspin' a
bit, "a1l the hired help?'
And the volunteers. too" says Miss
Jane. Every one"
'Oh. very -well.'' says I.
Maybe l grinned. 1 didn't know just
Evening star., 1918-03-31

striking his most impressive heroic
pose mo gentleman. but
To free the world and save the human race,
They'd sink beneath the wave and leave no trace,
And not a sign remain upon the scene
To show that Kaiser Bill had ever been.
Well" said Napoleon, that isn't a
bad scheme of yours, Bill. after all"
NO" said Shakespeare, twirling his
mustachios rather vainly. 'sOn the
contrary. think 1t most excelien1
There's only one thing l can't quite
make out about it," said Napoleon. with
a sly wink at Alexander. Its such Q
darned good idea that
Yes" said Shakespeare.
'1 can't help wondering where yoo
got it." said Napoleon.
Copyright. 1918, by Mcclure syndieatsl
Evening star., 1918-03-31
An Evening With the Poets

H7 HAVE failed to notice that
oCl any great poetry is trickling
through from the upper world
< these days" said Homer,
strumming Its a Long Way From
distinguished shades sat with him in
the poets corner of the houseboat on
the Styx the other night
The war has not produced any"
aid Diogenes, trimming the wick of
his lantern. II have had my glim out
for some for long time now and. bar
ring that comic piece about the kaiser.
The Him of Hate nary a line worth
reading has come across
War" said DR.. Johnson. ponderous
ly. does not produce poetry. War is
not poet. and only poets produce
as well expect an elephant to shine
In the minuet as expect war"
Elephants do not shine" retorted
Diogenes. Elephants are not boot
blacks. and only bootblacks-"
Admiral Nelson. banging the table with
his fist. IF you two old codgers get
the floor in a hair-splitting contest the
rest of us will have to put on gas
masks and retire"
Well" laughed Homer. you're all
of you right. johnson is right when
he says war is not a poet. Diogenes
Is right when he says elephants are
not bootblacks- Nelson is right when
he warns us of an impending kas at
tack and I'm right when l say that no
great poetry has trickied through of
late from the upper world. We're all
right, SO let's start in all over again
! wonder what has caused the poetry
famine?"
Its because there h2ln't been no
poetry to trickle through" said
Shakespeare, land the reason is that
Evening star., 1918-03-31

knockin' up a stage for the cabaret talent,
and where the buntin' has been ordered.
borows pad and pencil. and wishes l
knew shorthand"
By the time we lands at the camp.
though. I have fair idea of the job
she's tackled: and while she's havin' an
interview fifth the c. o. 1 starts ex-
ploring the scene of the banquet. First
off l finds that the mess hall seats less
than 500. the way they got the tables
fixed; that there's no room for stage
without breakin' through one end and
Evening star., 1918-03-31

nodding his head gratefully at the
great Roman "It is very kind of you
to say that. and 1 appreciate it,"
Not at all. Milt." said Horace. Not
at all. You always were to my mind
the heavyweight champion of Parnas-
sus If I wanted to s.eam-roll any
thing with poetry. l wouldn't tackle
the job with Rossetti, or any one of
Evening star., 1918-03-31
A Torcfny
Story

be any rest-cure stunt She's rated at
about ninety horsepower herself when
she's speeded up. and ANYBODY ina.
keep movin' in high. They'd have to
be ready to tackle anything that turned
up, too.
Forsythe, you'd think it was just that
his fame as an arranger Of floral cen
terpieces had spread until Miss German
has decided nobody else would DO.
Although heaven knows. l never
suspected you could be really useful
Forsythe," says Mr.. Robert: But II
Miss Jane thinks you'd be help"
"Oh, I am sure Mr.. Hurd would be
the very one" puts in Miss German.
"At last" says Forsythe. strikin' pcse
my virtues are about to be discovered. l
shall be delighted to assist you, Miss Cor
man, in any way.
'Tut, tut, Forsythe.' says Mr. Robert
Don't be too reckless Miss Jane miSht
take you at your word"
Go on. Slander me-" says Forsythe'
Evening star., 1918-03-31

deny that you were a German instead
of claiming you as a bright jewel IN
Germania's crown, as they have been
doing of late years"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27

came four thousand miles from Ogden
Utah, just outside Of New York, to
fight for your king and country. Don't
be a slacker,~buck up and get into uni
form; come over tOsthe recruiting Of
flee and I'll have you enlisted"
He yawned and answered. 81 don't
care if you came forty thousand miles,
no one asked you to-" and he walked
on. The girl gave me sneering LOOK
I was speeches..
recruited for three weeks and near
~ got one recruit.
This perhaps was not the greatest
stunt in the world, but it got back at
the officer who had told me, eyes, we
take anything over here" L had been
spending good lot Of my recruiting
time In the saloon bar of the Wheat
Sheaf pub (there was very attractive
blonde barmaid, who helped kill time
l was not as serious in those days as
I was little later when reached
the front)-well, it was the sixth day
and my recruiting report was blank.
I was getting low in the pocket-bar-
maids haven't muchs use for anyone
who cannot buy drinks-so I looked
around for recruiting material. You
know man on recruiting service gets
bob" or shilling for every recruit
he entices into joining the army, the
recruit is supposed to get this, but he
would not be a recruit if he were wise
to this fact, would he?
Down at the end Of the bar was
young fellow in multi who was very
patriotic-he had about four "Old
Six" ales aboard. He asked me if he
could join, showed me his left hand,
two fingers were missing, but l said
that did not matter as tive take any
thing over here" The left hand is
the rifle hand as the piece is carried
at the slope on the left shoulder. Near
ly everything in England is ''by the
left" even general traffic keeps to the
port side.
I took the applicant over to head
quarters, where he was hurrledly ex-
amined. Recruiting surgeons were
busy in those days and did not have
much time for thorough physical exam
nations. My recruit was passed as
"ft" by the doctor and turned over to
a corporal to make note Of his scars.
I. was mystified. Suddenly the corpo-
raj burst OUT with, ''Blime me, two Of
his fingers are gone" Turning to me
he said, "You certainly have your
nerve with you, not 'alf you amt, to
bring this beggar in."
The doctor came over and exploded,
"What do you mean by bringing In
man in this condition."
Looking out Of the corner Of my eye
I noticed that the officer who had re-
cruited me had joined the group, and
I could not help answering, "Well, sir,
I was told that you took anything over
here"
I think they called it yankee i'm
pudence," anyhow it ended my recruit
ing.
CTO BE CONTINuED)
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
RYAN.
(TOo late for last week.

(Too late for last weekly
Mr.. Robinson, manager of the 1um-
Der yard, was recent business visitor
in Dubuque.
The aid society of the M. E. church
surprised Mrs. Swanson, who lives on
the Dave McElliott farm. They ex-
pect to move on farm near Man
chester by the first of March.
Nick Weller and sons had a carload
of ice shipped from Cedar Rapids last
week for summer USE
Pat Behan was at the hospital in
Waterloo several days last week TAX
ing treatments.
Lizzie Turner and daughter Pearl
were recent visitors at the John Riley
! home in Castle Grove.
]. J. Dolphin was recent caller in
Dubuque.
John Dughan spent last Sunday
with his son in Dubuque.
Vincent McEnany has sold out his
interest in the oil wagon which he
was running at Greeley
Ernette Kelley of Fonda, was Wis
itor for several days last week with
his aunts, Mesdames Hennesey and
Sullivan.
Jim Rizner of Robinson, was a call
er here Monday.
{ George McCusker of Mobridge, S.
D., is here visiting his parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. F. Dummy were
recent callers at Iowa City.
Several from here were calling at
the Mrs. Britt home in the Bay set
Element to offer their sympathy in the
death of father and husband, Thomas
Britt, who died Saturday and was
buried Monday.
Rev. Father Schall of Dubuque, cele-
brated Mass here Sunday.
Richard Barry has been at his home
near Masonville, getting mothers care
during siege Of grippe.
w. T. McElliott shipped several
carloads of hogs to Chicago and Ce-
dar Rapids last week.
w. H. Ward had business at Dyers-
vile Monday.
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Shelley, who
attended the funeral of Thomas Britt,
called at the home of their parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Pat Behans on their re-
turn home.
John Dughan, jr., was a business
visitor in Union township Sunday.
Will Durham and sister Lizzie, Of
Walker, and John Behan and wife Of
west Of Ryan, attended the funeral of
Thomas Britt on last Monday.
Father Molloy was in Castle Grove
Sunday.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
f. M. DANIELS, Mgr.

! purchased the Ezra Coates home.
They will take possession April LIST.
Mr.. Coats has not yet decided as to
where they will move.
Mr.. and Mrs G. w. Goldsborough-
went to Strawberry Point. Friday to
attend the funeral of the formers
nephew.
Mrs. G. H. Pitcher entertained the
Embroidery club at her home Friday
afternoon.
Miss Cecile Raster visited Wednes-
day at the Earlville high school.
Several of the friends and relatives
visited at the Peter Person home on
Thursday evening to bid farewell to
Edwin Battin before he left for Camp
Dodge.
Miss Vina Raster returned Tuesday
from Delhi, after spending the past
two weeks there.
Miss Effie Person spent the latter
part of the week with her sister, Mrs.
George Riley and family, at Oelwein.
Bruce Funk of Randalia, was a
guest of his sister, Mrs. E. P. Coates
and family part of this week.
A number from here went to Man.
chester Saturday morning to bid fare
we'll to their friends and relatives
among the soldier boys.
Bert Mullen of Manchester, was in
town Saturday on business.
Miss Maggie Ortberg of Hopkinton,
was an over Sunday guest of her par
ents, Mr.. and Mrs. Gus. Ortberg.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27

We don't know much about the
cows and steers, but we sometimes
wonder when we see them backed up
to the lea side of wire fence on a
cold winter day, if they are holding
their own or just burning up the corn
inside of them to keep warm. Now
we have S-foot boards that make
swell windbrake, and then just few
more boards over the top keeps out
the wet and the first thing you know
you have got cattle shed. Let's
make hay while the sun shines. It's
shining for you today, old man farm
err, and we all envy you a little.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27

to his desk. Immediately followed
this action by throwing the kilograms
into the wastebasket. Then we looked
at each other in silence. He was
sQuirming in his chair and I felt de-
pressed and uneasy.
The telephone rang and I answered
1t. It was business call for me, re-
questing my services for an out-of-
town assignment. Business was not
very good, so this was very welcome.
After listening to the proposition I
seemed to be swayed by a peculiarly
strong force within me, and answered,
II am sorry that I cannot accept your
offer, but am leaving for England
next week." and hung up the receiver.
The lieutenant swung around in his
chair, and stared at me in blank aston
ishment. A sinking sensation came
over me, but defantly answered his
look with, "Well, it's so. I'm going"
And went.
The trip across was uneventful. I
landed at Tilbury, England, then got
into a string Of matchbox cars and
proceeded to London, ARRIVING there
about 10 p. m. took room in hotel
near st. Pancras station for five and
six-fire extra" The room was minus
the fire, but the extra" seemed to
keep me warm. That night there was
q Zeppelin raid, but 1 didn't see much
Of it, because the slit in the curtains
was too small and l had no desire to
make it larger. Next morning the tel
ephOne bell rang, and someone asked,
"Are you there" / was, hardly. Any
way, I learned that the Zeps had re-
turned to their fatherland, so l went
out into the street expecting to see
scenes of awful devastation and Il cow
ering populace, but everything was
normal. People were calmly proceed
ing to their work. Crossing the
street, I accosted Bobbie with:
"Can you direct me to the place of
damage?"
He asked me, "What damage?"
In surprise, 4 answered, "Why, the
damage caused by the Zeps."
With wink he replied:
'"There was no damage; we missed
them again.
After several fruitless inquiries of
the passersby, decided to go on my
own in search Of ruined buildings and
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
+, YOU CAN ADD A MONTH TO
SPRING

by starting building early. You
know now what you need. You can
haul materials at once and when
field work begins your hog house or
stable will be done.
WHILE FARM HELP is FREE
start your building work. Push your
plans theoretically and clean up all
repairs and new work before blowing
needs every minute. We can give you
plans of many farm structures. Our
stock of building materials is full
now but may not be when spring
opens. We will give you estimates
gladly. Call, write or phone what we
can do for you.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
The Shawn.

A shawn was a wind instrument of
the oboe class but with a wider bell.
1t is a very old type Of musical instru-
ment, as 1t is spoken Of by the Psalm
list. The Romans used it freely. There
We're treble shawms and bass shawms
and the name gradually gave way
about the sixteenth century to "mo-
boy" or "howboy," eventually evOlv-
ing to "Oboe."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
Coconuts All Year Round.

Across Lake Worth, from West
Palm Beach, Fla. is Palm Beach, stu
ated on strip which extends along
the Atlantic ocean for many miles. The
world famous Royal Poinciana, one of
the worlds largest hotels, and the
Palm Beach hotel, both face Lake
Worth. The shores of the lake for
miles are fringed with stately coconut
trees, always in bearing.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
Husband and Wife.

Compensation for services rendered
by wife outside of the home Of her
husband, with whom she is living, such
services not being in the discharge of
her household or domestic duties, and
not in interference Herewith, is held
recoverable in an action therefor in
her own name and for her own use, in
BechtOl VS.. Ewing. L. r. A. 1917E, 279.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
Bejnu Ahead of the Times,

The world calls every man that Is
ahead of his age a crank. There is no
disgrace in it. 1t may be little hard
not to be understood and appreciated
when, you know you have what the
world needs, notes an exchange. But
remember, that's the way with the
world. 1t sometimes takes years, and
even centuries for people to- appreciate
what's beyond their experience.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
WORKING and Thinking.

There is no less virtue, rather more
in events, tasks, duties, obligations
than there is in books. Work itself has
a singular power to unfold and develop
our nature. The difference is not be-
tween working people and thinking
people, but between people who work
without thinking and people who think
while they wOrk.-Henry Van Dyke.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
Economy and Waste.

ECONOMY is the parent of Integrity,
Of Liberty and of Ease; and the beau
teous sister Temperance, of Cheerful
ness and Health; and Profuseness is
cruel and crafty demon that gradu-
ally involves her followers in depend.
ence and debts; that is, letters them
with 'frons that enter into their souls"
-HawkeswOrth.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1918-02-27
More Wasted Food.

"Chew your food WELL" says Good
Health. The biggest waste Of food
in this country grows out of hasty eat
ing. Half-chewed food is half digest
ed. The other half is wasted. The
people of the United States waste
enough food, by neglecting to chew, to
feed France and Belgium.