The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1918-02-19
LOCAL LAUGHS

from the Ucaleean Ensign, the high
school paper. The young people get
up these jokelets themselves, on their
teachers and each other. and they are
more interesting than the labored and
written to order humor of the So
called comic papers:
Jokes
Friends, Romans, Countrymen. -
voceriferated the schoolboy in the
oratorical contest, '1end me your
ears"
There" commented the mother of
defeated pupil, sneeringly, athat's
Mrs. Riggs boy. He wouldn't be his
mothers son if he wasn't borrowing
something"
Son reaches across the table and
helps himself to the sugar.
Father: Haven't you a tongue,
SOM"
Son: "Sure, but it's not as long as
my arm"
Sunday School Instructor, "And the
father of the Prodigal Son fell on his
neck and wept. Now, Alexander
Bonetop, tell the children why the IA
Their wept."
Aleck, "Huh; l guess you'd weep
too, if you fell on your neck"
Caesars dead and buried,
And so is Cicero.
And wherever those two old gents
have gone
| wish their works would Cox
Smart Freshie-"I can tell you how
much water goes over Niagara Falls,
to the quart"
Delighted Senior. "How much?"
Freshie, 1.-TWO pints. Elk.
Patsy: @Mr. H., does moonlight af-
feet farming?"
Mr.. H.: 81 don't know, but moon
light nights sure have effect on some
people"
Ellen: mo, women should not be
brought to the level with men,"
Miss Williams: Why, Ellen, wom-
en- are just as good as men,"
Ellen: "Why, they're ten times
better. The best man on earth is not
as good as the worst woman"
Miss W.: "Why is Daniel Webster
likened to a cathedral?"
Tom: 81 dunno, unless twas be-
cause he had such big dome"
Mr. M: mother, why is Wellie
whistling and singing around the.
house so much tonight? 2"
Mrs. NJ: 'sWhy, / think he made
seventy per cent in one of his exami-
nations"
Kathleen: whats the use in
studying about electricity? We don't
need it."
Mr.. H.: "What is the use in girls
wearing dresses ?"
Miss Doke Tin Sunday school
class): Margaret Little, can you
tell me where Cain went after he had
killed Abel?"
Margaret L.: "He went to bed"
Miss Doke: How do you make that
out?"
Margaret l.: "WeTl, its in the chap
ter that Cain, after he had killed
Abel, went to the land of Nod"
Miss Doke: of you should say
Misses Brown, there would be two
Brown ladies'"
Mr.. H., discussing electricity:
"Who can explain the word am
perez"
Callie (who lost track of her book
during examination); wonder what
that has to do with electricity. Am
ber' is a certain kind of tobacco"
What was Ruth Simmons crying
for down at Sanford last Friday
night? st don't know"
Charles Carnahan: eff I should
kiss you, would you call for help?"
Miriam c.: would you need it,"
Chinese Version of School Teacher
Teachee, teachee,
All day teachee,
Night markee papee,
Nervee, all creepee,
No one kissee,
No one huggee;
Poor old maidee,
No one lovee.
Lieut.. Blake was running the boys
of Company B through the leg exer
else, in which the leg is lifted paral-
lei with the hip. On seeing one boy
out of step, Blake blurts out: "Hi,
there, you fellow with both legs up,
put your left leg down."
@Edgar?"
eyes, mother"
"What are you children doing?"
playing royalty, am knight Oh
the Garter, and Edwin is Saturday"
"That is an odd name for royalty"
"Oh, it is just nick name on ac-
count of his title.1