The Washington herald., 1918-03-26

Special Correspondent Of The Washington Herald
New York. March S.-Patriotic
Americans. who are always fussing
around and begging TO do their bit
have an opportunity to do 50 by laugh
ing at the Great British joke, which
has just arrived in New York.
The joke was received by an Eng
lish actor at the Players, and every
Englishman who reads it bursts into
loud outlaws that rattle the pictures
on the walls. Two laughed so hard
that they crushed their monocles and
one got into a At OF Mysteries, Bah
Jove
The Joke was clipped rom Under
the Clock the funny column on the
London Daily News and was sent to
New York. Americans who share the
woes of the allies should also partici-
pate bravely in their jokes.
Great American Public-the Great
British Joke:
"A club smoking-room-@,3l enter
first page. CLAIMANT. MIR. Itching.
50 enter second page; Mr.. keatinge.
True, though almost too happy 10 be
true"
Well-now that you havt recovered
yourself-what is It? ! tried it out
on British clubman in motel lobby.
He read it. Ripples OF red began to
rush up from his neck TO his hair
He laughed and whooped and bent
double and laughed some more.
What is it all about ! asked.
Don't you see it," I confessed mod
estly that had muffed it.
My eye!" he replied. Here it is
Listen! Itching-Keatinge See the
point. Itching-Keatinge" and ne was
still laughing when ! left him. II re-
minds broadway OF the late Diamond
Jims famous joke. He always ar
ranged beforehand to have listeners
laugh at a certain point in the story.
newcomer would join the group.
Diamond Jim told of lady who went
from store to store looking for a dog
TO purchase. At each store she would
turn away in anger saying they did
not have the kind OF dog she wanted.
Finally she went into a delicatessen
store. The man brought some puppies
from the cellar. She looked them over
and then said angrily: i want a
wooIly dog.
At this point everybody would laugh
and the newcomer thinking he was
appearing stupid by not catching the
point would laugh loudly too. There
was no point to the joke. After eN-
plantations had been made and the
newcomer blushed sufficiently he
would be forced to order all around
Max Marx. a Rialto tailor, Is going
10 be more careful with his advertis-
ing in the future. One OF his snappy
ads has offended q Well-known actor
who has sued the tailor for $4,000.
The clothing advertisement which
aroused the actors Indignation reads y:
style is the dress of thought. the
Bertillon of the mind, the kodak OF
tho mood, the periscope of the temper.
the billboard of the soul. Style is Shell
ly Hull making love. Lack of style is
Bill Blank making anything" Bill
Blank-and that is not his real name,
believes he has been libeled $4,000
worth and a lot of keen reporters be-
heve that Marx and Blank framed up
the whole thing for publicity purposes
But that is another story.
In Avenue A a shop keeper used 10
hang out a Fire Sale sign every
month. Where there's a fire Avenue
A looks for smoke. Smokeless fire
sales do not go big on Avenue A.
A smart feller he could do something
profitable already yet-so-
The new sign of a shop keeper reads
Drafted" And now he's fighting
them away.
She was ,swathed in Russian sables,
On her trim small feet were diamond
buckles. She carried a gold mesh bag
that cost a fortune. Eyes followed
her through the hotel lobby to the
dressing-room. Several young girls
followed her in to see her close up
She took q pipe from her mesh bag
lighted it and puffed away.