Charlevoix county herald., 1918-04-12

NOME GUARDS.

II haven't sean your husband Gar
several days." remarked Mrs.. Turpsn-
tine. els he out Of town."
"No. he's In the house," replied Mrs.
Curfew. "but his head II badly dent
cd and bruised. and he ID threatened
with nervous prostration. and ! won't
allow him to leave the premises until
he Ia more like himself.
"rm sure I don't know what's going
to become Of Mr.. Curfew unless he
can get rid Of some of his patriotism.
I'm glad to have q husband who r
willing and anxious to make sacrifices
for. his country. but can't help think
ing that even patriotism may be Cal.
ried too tar.
NY husband has been trying to e.
list ever since diplomatic relations
with Germany were broken on, but
the onicials won't accept him. They
take one look ut his flowing white
whiskers and advise him TO get .
.plush-lined rocking chair and . pair
Of carpet slippers. and spend his de-
Ginning years BY the fireside. One SER
geant or corporal or other enlisting
oficer said the country was trying TO
organize an army, not an octogenari-
ans club. and Mr.. Curfew was boiling
mad.
Finally. seeing that he couldn't
break into the army. he decided to
organize q regiment Of home guards
TO police the town when the able-bod-
led young men are called away. He
went around and interviewed . lot Of
the patriarchs IN the neighborhocd.
and they all said It would be q fine
thing. and they would be glad to take
part.
"Mr. Curfew elected himself colonel
or brigadier general or something. He
felt that he was entitled to the COM
handing position. as the idea was his
own. and the old men admitted that
It was fair. and 30 the other evening
they assembled for . drill on John
sons vacant lot across the alley. Mr..
Curfew had dug up q sword and q big
brass helmet with q plume ON It, and
he had red sash around his waist
and large spurs on his boots. and
when he walked he clanked like q
keg Of nails.
He certainly was m imposing fig-
ure when he went out Of the house IN
all his martial array. and I was proud
Of his appearance, although I feared
the worst. for didn't believe the old
men Of his brigade would stand It TO
DO bossed around. I knew most Of
them personally. and they are q can
taukerous lot, and their wives can't
get along with them.
my husband shouted some order
and some OF the men obeyed and 9TH
ers Just stood around grinning. Mr..
Gooseworthy said there was no sense
In such an order and that Il was con-
trary to all military rules and the eth
les Of West Point. or words to that ef-
feet.
my husband reprinanded him Sc
verely. which was perfectly proper,
for II the commanding cficar Of .
homo guard can't maintain discip,.- 9
there Is going to be anarchy. Mr..
0ooseworthy said he'd be everlasting
y drawn and CHARTERED II he'd be spo-
kan to In that tone Of voice by any
body. and hs picked mp . chunk Of W.T.
rifled brick and threw Il at my hus-
band.
1T struck his brass helmet and
damned Il down over his ears, % that
~ had TO get the blacksmith to Dry
u or. Meanwhile an the members Of
the home guard indulsed In riot.
some supporting ny husband and
some hacking Mr.. 0ooseworthy. and
they we're al bunged mp moro OF less.
but most of the bricks and things hit
ny husband. for 10 was where the
weapons were thickest. - hs always
n, and I really don't want the neigh
bors 20 see him until his head Is
Asalsd MP