The Dayton forum. [volume] (Dayton, Ohio) 1913-1949, 1918-09-06
YANKEES QUAIL
At PINK RIBBONS
Women Hero W0rsi,ipers aPIumb
Flabberuast' Our Dough-
boys in Paris.
MIGHTY POOR MATINEE IDOLS
Bus Can They Fight? Oh, Boy, You
Can't Stop Them--Ask the
Major, He knows--Also
About the Marines.
By RICHARD HENRY LITTLE,


Ey FiGTARU HENRY LII TIE,
| SChicago Newspaper Man. Now In r M.
G. a. Service on Atlantic.)
New York.-American soldiers are
grand fighters but very poor matinee
idols. When women spring from their
/ seats In the sidewalk cafes I'm Paris
4 and thrust flowers In their hands,
they look as ashamed as dog caught
stealing eggs.
The most awful suffering / saw In
Paris was the case of big husky from
an infantry outfit. A lady OF great
distinction had stopped her machine
In the middle OF the street while the
soldier was crossing, and, leaning out,
had enthusiastically tied d bright pink
4 ribbon around his neck. Amidst much
rejoicing from the assembled French
1 spectator the Indy went her way and
the big soldier looked as II he was just
about TO choke to denth, although 1t
was very thin ribbon and loosely
tied | saw him an hour later and he
still wore the ribbon and had turned
/ deathly pale and was evidently In
terrible pain.
The Captains Orders.
"Listen.' said the infantry husky In
d hoarse whisper, "the captain sald
we was to receive any compliments
given us by the French with Il smile
and show 'em we appreciated Ii and
not hurt their feelings by ditching 1t,
but If have to wear this pink ribbon
around me neck for another hour I'll
20 nuts and bite myself In the leg, Tor
the love Of Mike do something
4 removed the ribbon from the suf-
| ferlng soldiers neck and after while
lie grew calm and quite rational and
he told me some stories of the front
| regarding the first assault of the Amer
leans against Chateau srhierry.
ssThey can't hold us guys" he said,
awhen we git started we jest keep
goin'. All anybody says Is Jest Kill
'em, kin 'em, and O boy. you ought
to see our lads 70 to Ii
"There at Chatty Teery the officers
were making I'M awful holler about
the boys running too fnst and ducking
right through the barrage and not
paving attention TO nothing except
spearin' Boches. 0ur colonel came
over before we started and he was
much particuIar-like In pointing out a
bunch Of rocks where he wanted our
battalion to halt.
.eThe major said nil right, that he
would stop his four companies right
on tho line Of them rocks, and then
we started. We got 1t right in the
nose, from every Dutch gun in front
OF us, but the boys jest yelled and
laughed and away they went Say
they didn't pay no more attention to
the major when we came to them
rocks thnn If he hadn't been there at
all.
81 went back to give him mes
sage from my captain and he was
standing by the rocks and mp came
the colonel and the colonel gave the
major blinking he'll for not stopping
the battalion where he said, and the
major was madder n d hornet, and he
double damned the colonel right back
again and he said: How the cruel
fled damnation could ] stop them
crazy, wid-eyed sons Of perdition? Il
that hog-faced crown prince and his
whole damnety damn Dutch army
couldn't stop 'em, what the h. coult
do?''
And Those Marines.
/ asked him IL the marines were
good fighters
aGood fghters2v the soldier said
.say. every time 1 see d marine
want to 20 up and give him a kiss
IF they ever get started again they
will never stop till they get to Ber
lin. Now, you listen to me, know
Say, do you know what 1 saw then
marines do?
! "They had taken three trenches ant
! was stopping III the third to fill theii
! pockets with grenades and bombs be
] fore tackling the next trench that
: was chuck-fuli of Boches. The Dutch
! was using mustard gas and we was al
. wearing our masks. The grenades wus
. passed around.
! 1.-THE marines filled their pocket.
] and hung 'em on their belts and ther
/ they seemed to decide that they need
! cd more for the Job than what thes
had, so what did those crazy nuts dt
! but whip Off their gas masks and I'll
'em up with grenades and then, carry
\ ing their masks like they was market
: baskets, up they jumped and dows
they comes on the Dutch In the mex
trench all spraddled out. and the,
bombed 'em till there wasn't nothing
! but Jest grease spots left.
"Oh, you marines, boys. my hat |.
certainly Off TO you"
And likewise you infantry and yol