The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-05-16

mush and corn cakes this spring that
we won't be surprised if we begin
tasseling out along in July.
E z 4
The meanest man is the neighbor
who buys new motor car and then
comes and takes you and your wife
out riding in it and makes your old
one seem like traction engine.
4 4
"Boys," said the Sunday school
teacher, "can any of you tell me about
Good Friday?" "Yes'm, can" re-
piled little fellow. "He was the guy
what did the homework for Robinson
Crusoe."
Sir James Grant of Ottawa, Canada,
now in his 88th year, says the way to
live long is to avoid the use of to-
bacco. But, if one must avoid the use
of tobacco, what is the object of living
long time?
Old Bill Misgivens rises to remark
that if this war should continue three
or four years longer, colonies will be
so common that an auctioneer will not |
attract any more attention than cor
poral does now.
Secretary McAdoo says: "Half-
soled shoes are badges of honor.
wear them and gladly recommend
them" Yes, man is all right in
these days no matter what he wears
so long as there are no patches on his
patriotism.
We note that another of the kaiser's
dentists has made his way
safely out of Germany and is now
anchored under the stars and stripes.
One who has kept careful track of the :
inflow of the kaiser's personal dentists
says there are now Ia of them operat- :
ng in this country.
Nothing seems more fun to a little :
or 6-year-old than when they reach
he important stage of answering the =
telephone. A few days ago one of
hem answered phone call for his :
mother. Modesty caused him to give
his answer: "My mamma can't come
o the phone-she's taking bath"
4 Z
A soldier boy "ever there" writes
ONE description of "stunt night" at
he Y. M. C. A. He says they put two
len, one weighing $50 pounds and the
Their 100, on the platform and gave
ach soft billy club. Then they
retended that both men were to be
but when the big man
ad his eyes covered, they removed
ne blindfold from the little man.
ou can fill in the details yourself
An lrishman, passing a shop where
notice was displayed saying that ev-
'ything was sold by the yard, thought
e would play joke on the storekeep-
E, so he entered the shop and asked
" a yard of milk. The merchant, not
the least taken aback, dipped his
ngers in bowl of milk and drew a
ne yard long on the counter. Pat,
1T wishing to be caught in his own
ap, asked the price. Twelve CENTS"
id the shopman. "All right, sorr,"
id Pat. "Roll it up; I'll take it." 1
4 z iii
An editor dropped into church for
e first time in many years. The min
ter was in the very heart of the
rmon. The editor listened for
nile, and then rushed to his office.
What are you fellows doing? How
out the news from the seat of WARP" l
What news ?" "Why, all this about
e Egyptian army being drowned in
e Red sea. The minister up at the
urch knows all about it, and you
we not heard a word of it in our
test. Bustle round, you fellows, and
t out an extra special edition"
Jacob kept a secondhand clothes
OPP, and on leaving 1t In charge OF his
n key during the dinner hour i'm
rted to him the fact that. on the
ice ticket one dot represented one
liar, two dots two dollars, and so on.
turning, Jacob inquired of his son:
Iaf you had any customers, key
to" eyes, Fader, | have sold de
ay coat and vest for 49," "Vell,
Il, now, you did goot business, for it
Is only S." "No, fader, kept the
ket; see, it has eight little dots
re- The old Jew scratched his head
d smilingly remarked: Jubilee Je-
saleml ! will never kill anoder fly"
Z Z E
Certain we'll meaning parents are
lSinv children to grow up in mortal u