The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1918-04-06

was hurled through the window.
"Cne," said the pedestrian.
Wait minute, said the hurled
one. This is me over again"
One Chicago paper is worrying
about how to set the roosters al
hour ahead, and agitating for Law
to move the tubes of all thermome'
ters up one inch in the spring ant
down an inch in the fall.
This extra hour of daylight, o.
course, was procured by big Busi.
ness" 1t is an insidious attempt t.
induce the populace to get ii
eighteen holes Of golf instead oi
nine, and thus double the demand fol-
golf clubs and balls.
As long as American inventive
genius survives, the world is safe
for democracy.
One brilliant inventor would tralr
.seagulIs to detect submarines. He
would have them trained on dummy
.periscopes, which at stated times
would release little chunks Of fish
The seagulls would learn to watch
for these and flock about them, and
as soon as real periscope appeared
they would rush to it. Then would
come the destroyers with their depth
bombs.
To anyone who has watched the
gulls follow a vessel hundreds OF
miles in the hope of picking up a few
scraps of food, the suggestion is not
quite. so preposterous as it seems at
first thought
After the troop train carrying the
drafted men pulled out, a man and
woman Of middle age walked down
Roberts street. The woman was cry
ing quietly. The man was trying
to comfort her. zF e,
well, it's a relief to have it overr,
he was saying.
What the British have designated
as carrying on" sometimes requires
as much moral courage as going.
Balzac wrote a novel on "The
Quest of the Absolute. BaIzac's
hero sacrificed his family, friends
and everything in his search for the
absolute.
1t was to be found the other night
at a motion picture house.
Miss Annette Kellerman was alb
solutely absolute.
But even so it was far less shock
ing than when Doug or "BiH'
clutches the weeping heroine to his
steaming chest after a realistic"
fight scene.
After having learned that Foch"
is pronounced 'Foche" with the 20"
long, 1t now becomes necessary to
acquire the meaning of the word
'peredishka" Peredishka is the
Russian word that means respite,
and has replaced the old formula of
no annexations and no indemni-
ties. The Bolshevik "old guard, ii
seems. now is lighting" for a per-
edishka" for the revolution. They
want time to organize the country
and hold some elections and things.
The tired pugilist who lies on the
floor Of the ring for ten seconds
'peredishka' gets it, but he doesn't
get much else. Probably the French
and British and Belgians would like
little "peredishka" also, but they
are going after it in another way.
King Alfonso made a terrible
threat to his cabinet this week. He
told them If they didn't quit quar-
reling and get together, he'd quit
being king, retire to country es-
-ate, and live in comfort the rest OF
MS days as a private citizen Of
Spain.
1t brought his ministers to their
senses, and well it might. Kings
IRE hard to get these days. With
wages where they are, no man is
yoing to take kings job, work
.welve hours day and worry the
'ther twelve, for the fun of being
ihot or bombed.
There's nothing in the king busi-
less any more. 1t isn't what it used
o be in the good old days.
Life growing complications ap-
,ear to be depressing the editor OF
-he Gackle Republican of this state.
listen to his plant:
They do say that he is Just an edi-
or But his missions are many and
aried. He must see things in a
right light for his community, |
hough they be in a gloom; he must |
vrite an obituary notice giving the
assed one the best that can be said,
hough his conscience tells him /
therWise: he must assist in every |
movement that makes a better town
nd helps bring in the people; he
must boost home Industry and keep |
he mail order houses from taking
way all the coin from his town; he
must attend and donate to every
hing that comes along; he must
make an honest man out OF a sneak;
e must be and do a thousand and
ne other things.
His Reward-He is kicked and
unfed, because he has done all this
or you. The poor fish should have
My given you boost and left the
ther fellow out Of it. He should
ave given you the privilege Of die
ating the entire policy Of the paper