The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1918-01-24
WAKE UP, MEN; DON'T
INITIATE METHUSELAH
CONTINUED from first page)

Il
satified peels of laughter. 1t was be
ing stuffed with what it seemingl,
was intended to be Stuffed-prom
. fses.
Methuselah and his boek-keepe
were so busy keeping records OF the
81 dead-beats that neither had time tC
run dozen blocks to deliver {
lemon. So they hired black Bill tc
drive a Ford; and right then was
added varying stock of dry goods
notions, hats, shoes, etc, and his
new sign read Sheeting, Shifting
and Roasting Ears
Methuselah's home life was id al
He had good neighbors; factories,
schools and churches footed and
belled, boisterous evidence of things
humming and prosperity. Methu-
selah had prospered in spite of his
hardships, though his beginning had
been unpropitious, and notwlth'
standing his losses of 40 per cent.
on bad accounts, and his handicaps
of a bookkeeper and delivery boy,
which cost him 10 per cent. OF his
well-earned profits. He had waxed
fat from inertia, and had grown &C.
customed to his ease. The Great
God had filled his pouch with whole
some vituals and had given him the
joys of a comfortable dwelling place;
and blessed him most particularly
with many credit customers.
During his thirtyryears of activity
progress had caught him in its full
toe, and he rode the waves. say,
he went to sleep then. | know this,
for l was in his place to call on
business. He and a cronie were
away back in the store. in quis t
corner, next to the stove, playing
checkers. | said good morning" he
replied 'hoWdy?" without looking
up. A customer entered and told
the old man a customer wished TO
buy up at the front; he meaningly
whispered, she! she! Be right quiet, |
he IL 90 out in a minute. i knew then
that old Methuselah was dead, for
when a business man gets so i'm
mune 10 impressions that he receives
no thrills in every fiber and nerve
of his body, that his Imagination
does not sparkle with vigorous re-
Spouse to opportunity, he is de a-d.
1t Is recorded that he lived over
900 years longer, playing checkers,
same as you and /.
1t so happened that prior, about
400 years before his coming to So
journ in these parts, there grew a
vegetable, not potato. The leaves
of this plant had become a well.
known commodity. Kings, poten-
tates, presidents and congressman,
hackdrIvers and WasherWomen had
learned to desire it above all the
plants of the earth. Some inhaled
the. sweet essence of its incense,
burning it in great bowls; others
would chew the succulent juices
from its compressed tablets, extrane
Ously favored. Others took it in
powdered form, either to sniff it or
allow it to lie in the hollw of the
cheek, or beneath the lip of the
lower face. So great had it's demand
become that whosoever and howso-
ever he handled it in barter and
trade, that person became a mighty
man of wealth. Old Methuselah
used no other floor sprinkler to Keep
the dust under his feet than a by
product of its mastication.
In whatever form it was consumed
it gave instant happiness to the
user; it was a cure-all. from the era.
die TO the grave. Babies in his
neighborhood, so early in life anx
ious to ENJOY its quieting influences,
substituted great hunks of it, called
chaWs for the gum, ring on which
they cut their baby teeth. Old men
begged for it, friends asked for the
: makin's. as between friends. Wo-
men dipped it and ground their teeth
sideways on it, with the rubbing of
it. So much so that one old woman
had to substitute enamel grinders,
both upper and lower, in which she
gloried. For she Dragged that they
were good teeth, great teeth, they
cut comm and gwine.''
Boys of the streets made games of
chance for the very name-plates that
came on its wrappings. Powerful
plutOcrats squeezed out the smaller
manufacturers of it, gobbled them
up or sent them to the dogs. Men
W. Mt to Jail for it, and to asylums
because of its injudicious use. Gov
e nents taxed it and made monopo-
lies IF it and nations went to war
because of it, as they warred be-
cause of tea. 1t was a nerve slim
ulant, as well as a nerve wrecker. 1t
exhilarated the debilitated and sub
dued the crazy rawlings of the gran
dose idealists.