The Washington herald., 1918-02-07

Enough to Make . Man Mad.
Suppose someone dropped . live cat
on your face when you were asleep.
what would you do?
Here's what Steve Brennan did!
Last Monday morning Steve's wife
called to him about 1000 times to get
up and go to work.
Steve sleeps in a very cold room.
He hated like blazes to get up and
shiver while he dressed.
So he stuck his head under the
covers and snoozed OF again.
All of a sudden he jumped up. His
wind had been cut OF. There was
a funny noise going on somewhere
he didn't know Just where.
His face was bleeding. There was
hair in his mouth.
His sister-in-law, Bessie Minton,
had dropped an overgrown Thomas
cat on his face and then twisted
the cats tail.
Steve reached under his pillow for
his razor. He saw someone leaving
his room hurriedly.
He caught Bessie just as she reach
ed the bottom step leading down.
stairs.
Her ability as a pugiIist prevented
her getting slashed.
The court told Steve, after fining
him $50. that he must not go after
the girls with a. weapon.
Poor Old Isaac.
"Jedge. All am a poah old man.
All neber stole ennything in nah
life. Dat woman she TUX all de
money All had en- now she wants
ter send me ter Jail"
Isaac Monroe is one of the men
set free by the Emancipation Proc
lamation.
He is so old that he has lost all
track o. the passing years. But he
can remember vividly the retreat of
the Union armies after the battle
of Bull Run.
For the past six years Isaac has
been living with another ex-slave,
eking out living Gaming chairs, etc.
He roomed at the house OF Mary
Barlow He ate anywhere when he
had the price.
By stinting himself he had saved
almost money enough to pay his fare
to his sons farm in Virginia.
Last Sunday he borrowed an over
coat from Mary. He told her to
hold his savings as security for the
coat.
Someone stole the coat from Isaac
as he sat in a lunchroom.
He told Mary about it, but she re-
fused to believe it. She had no faith
in him at all.
She denies that Isaac left any
money with her. She also denied
that Isaac lost the coat. She in
sisted that he swiped it.
Isaac had no proof. But he con-
vinced the court that he was honest.
And so he was given the benefit
of the doubt and discharged.
Back In the Good Old Days.
To get at the beginning of John
Smothers crime, We must go back
to the sweltering days of last
August-those days when it was a
common sight to see big trucks on
the street loaded with the stun that
made Milwaukee famous.
Smothers used to work on one of
these trucks. His job was to load
unloaded kegs
One day as he was rolling a keg
in a wholesale establishment, he
saw q case of whisky in a corner.
1t was on a Saturday and the
place was full of customers.
Consequently 1t was an easy mat
ter for Smothers to swipe the booze
and put it on the truck.
A woman saw him. She told the
proprietor about it.
SmOthers offered to compromise,
but the boss said no. the stun was
too valuable.
We don't know why the man
wasn't brought into court until yes
terday.
But that didn't stop the court
from sending him down for three
months.
Once Too Often.
1t Is no wonder some women leave
their husbands.
If ever a woman was justified IN
packing up her duds and leaving it
is Minnie Robinson.
For six long years Minnie has
been kicked, bitten, bruised and
knocked about.
Her husband Owen, a man nearly
$50 pounds heavier, seems to have
taken great pleasure in practicing
what the Germans call kultur.
Either he needed exercise or else
he was downright mean, because
he pummeled her three times a day.
Both eyes were blacked. She is
bruised from head to foot. And she
is a nervous wreck.
Owen was a much surprised man
when he found a warrant waiting
for him. He had no idea that Min
ME had the nerve to get one.
The court didn't need to hear any
testimony. All it had to do was to
take one quick glance at Minnie.
And the court did that thing.
And then it took a glance at Owen
and sent him down for four months.
Four minute men. who are to CO.
operate with theN>committee on in
formation. are to be trained free Of
charge in the public-speaking class
of the Y. M. C. A. This class meets
af o'nlook Ti1asdav apd TburSd a "