The Washington herald., 1918-08-29
Story About a Hired Girl.

Some years ago, when the German chemists
cooked up their monopoly in dyes, and other
chemicals necessary to human happiness, and ap
piled for foreign patents they doubted the honesty
of America, after the German habit and, to prevent
dishonest Americans from stealing their recipes
they filed fake specifications, with their applica-
tions for patents. with Uncle Sam
Sure enough, war came on, Uncle refused to
recognize the patents and his chemists went to
trying out the recipes. Behold in almost every
case it was found that some essential ingredient
or indispensable step had been omitted from the
recipes or formulae. The specifications
frauds, and the recipes wouldn't work. Fine
Teutonic cunning
But our American chemists did not lie down
and weep; they went to work to discover why the
blamed recipes wouldn't work, and discovered why
Fine American grit! And then they took the Hun
by the short hair by taking out domestic patents,
the Hun having invaldated his patents by fraud,
and, hereafter, if the Hun gets his dyes and such
inte this country he'll pay nice royalty to Amer
lean brains. Its mighty fine instance of boom
erang, and altogether reminds of Story About
a Hired Girl
Many years ago. but it seems and feels like last
week, trust was formed in certain suburban
community, back in Ohio. Tommy Wilson and
Bobbie Smith two-thirds of the trust and we
the remainder. There no thrift stamps in
those days and so the trust put its first accumula-
ton of capital from moving lawns running er-
rands and swilling pigs into large two-wheeled
cart.
Contemporaneously with the trusts possession
of that cart, mother possessed hired girl, a
buxom Swede named Katura Jansen. You might
forget your first wife, grandmother, or pay day,
but never Katurs, having once met her. Katura
was the embodiment of emotion Shed laugh at
anything cry at nothing, easily, and, as when
in her flood of tears she was a composite picture
Of the horseshoe falls and the emptying OF tub
of wash suds, the trust preferred Katura at flood
tide.
Well, in the gloaming one day, the trust found
Katura resting on the kitchen steps and coaxed her
into taking a ride in that cart She laughed like
a horse with oat straws in its nostris, called Us
boys her deer leedle ponies" and enjoyed herself
greatly until we-no. the trust-resched the top of
the hill and let go the cart handles. Then Katura
scooted
Hallway down you could fairly hear Katura's
tears fall, and the trust danced on its six legs,
swung its hats and cheered her on from the top OF
the hill.
Gosh! but that was live trust for the promo
ton of funl
But glanciug two-thirds way down the narrow
hillside roadway, the trust perceived that father
was returning from his daily Office toll On one
side father bore groceries, meat and vegetables,
worsted and hairpins for mother rolls of music
for sister Ella, etc. ETC., on the other side one of
these long-handled wooden garden rakes .(The
trust found four eggplants and two pounds of
tomatoes in the adjoining bushes, next day)
Darned If the fun didn't ooze out of our third of
that trust right then.
For brief second father and Katura comnling-
led all miscellaneous and sudden and for the rest
Of the down the hill their best friends couldn't
tell which part was father, which hired girl, which
cart which rake. There was. to be sure, one
4 n i
with the aid Of undiuted blasphemy, but the rake
handle swiped him at the ankles and he continued
Boys viii be boys" said mother. later on; and
she liked both father and Katura. too But fathers
VIII be fathers" replied father and after his demon
---.isa Of it in the woqshed where some blamed