davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
The Office Boys Corner
By Louis Lee Arms .

The possibility of Eddie Plank re-
firing and thereby upsetting the cal
culations of the dear old Yankees has
sent Irving Schneider, the day office
boy and author of the verse, "Cham-
paign, Oh Sweet Champaign!"
scurrying to the typewriter.
Grasping the crux of the matter
Versifer Schreiber indcts burning
appeal to Mr.. Plank, filled with SEN
timental interest and concern for the
battle-scarred veteran. AS might be
expected, the verse is entitled eddie
Plank" and runs as follows:
nH. EDDIE PLANK. turn your crank
Get ready for the fray
lou are clerer and on your experience
all lcN bdnh
Wlth the Yankees you 1uiiL man.
Pact up your grip and get in trim
]ou got q fo1o years get
And shom those Veterdns ,chat is sim
TOuU shoU 'ar1 DON'T uou fret
In years gone by you tDas the guy
Who dtd the 1Oorh for M0cl,
In euery game yoM did t,v
No matter ho,u far back.
You ardS one Of the machine
That trOn peNnuNts galore
Goa to the totd Vou hnow arhdt nrea,
Come here and uin some more.
We need you sure omr noun osters to cure
A ueterGn ike you are need
You can't quit the game nolp baseball is to
much OF ure
And those aUords you sad lro wN not heed.
These words are meant Just for you
And hope you grant mn plea
There's rery feW men ike you
And teao li.c you aoiil there cror be.
1t looks as though there will be
nothing for Mr.. Plank to do but come
back and pitch again after all.
A new contributor joins "The Cor
ner" this week in the person of Ben
Katzman, Adv. Dept" as he signs it,
1t makes us feel like a mighty i'm
portant parsonage to have the "Adv.
Dept" knocking at our door for ad-
mission. Benjamin's initial inspira-
tion is entitled, "The Sons of the
L. S. A." 1t is unfortunate that the
entire verse is too long for reproduc-
ton, but the stirring lit of the thing
may be grasped from the first two
stanzas, which follow:
WYE the sons ot The Z. S. A
" The people stop to stare at rs
You're heard much about,
Whenever tco 80 oa'.
We're noted for o,u accuracy
In most evorythinG do
We're gained the confidence Of ou'ry People
And ce hope youN Ike rs too.
Benjamin has proved it is possible
for man in the advertising depart
ment to appreciate that the sun, moon
and stars do not revolvc around classi-
fed and display advertising. Looking
into the future, it is hopeful sign.
Herbert Feldman, who has been writ
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
College Swimmers Get
Busy Again on Friday

thlrteen-y -yearold star Jack Heed. and
William French, Of the Detroit Y. NJ.
I. A., youngster of the same age.
both lads have been showing amazing
Skill at this style of natation and
seem quite even in speed, so an ex-
ceptlonally interesting battle is looked
for.
Reports of the dual swimming meet
OF last week between Annapolis and
Princeton failed to give credit to the
Mlddles for the national intercollegiate
record they set in the 160-yard relay
race. The event was won by Thomp-
son, Dickens, Francis and Coggins in
| minute 19 As seconds, time which
dlsposes Of the former standard of
| minute 20 seconds, made bv quar-
tct from Chicago University in 1916
Joseph Ruddy. the veteran New York
A. c. water polo star. has been re-.
cruiting material for the game with
Yale on February 22, which will be
played under collegiate rules, and has
pressed INTO service enough old-timers
to form n team. Almost without ex
ception they are men who were active
in competition twenty and more years
ago. but Ruddy believes they will not
fall TO make 1t interesting for the
crack New Haven sextet.
News comes from California that
plans are on foot for Miss Dorothy
Burns, the worlds so and 100 ward
open water girl recordist, to accom-
pany Mrs. Aileen Allen, the fancy
diving champion, when the latter comes
East this season for the national A. A.
U. springboard title test for women.
Vance Vieth, coach at the Los Angeles
A. c., writes that efforts are being
made so to arrange matters that both
girls will be able to compete in a num-
ber Of cities on their way TO and from
New York.
The Olympic Clu' an Francisco
has booked for its swimming team
meet with the watermen of the avia,
ton camp at Berkeley and it will be
held shortly in the club pool. Norman
Ross, the all round champion of 1917,
will lead the aquatic birdmcn.
The Public Schools Athletic League
is preparing to hold championship
swimming tournament for high school
freshmen and will add individual title
contests for the yearlings at its con-
clusion.
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
Connolly May Ride
For Canadian Turfman

NEW ORLEANS. Feb. 2.-J. X. T..
Ross, Canadian turfman, has obtained
first call on the services of Jockey
Connolly for the meeting here and an
option on his services for the New
York tracks if his riding this winter is
satisfactory.
Connolly has been riding in fairly
good form here. His one great fault
is lack of patience. Mr.. Ross will have
thirty horses in training this spring.
He recently paid $50. 900 for Marathon
and Cudcel.
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
N. Y. u. Five Forfeits
Contest to MontcIair

Montclair Academy won basketball
game by forfeit, when the New York
University freshman team was taken
off the court by its coach with two min
utes to play in q contest on the Mont
clair courts yesterday. The Violet
coach declared that the decisions of
Referee Moller were biassed.
When the New York team left the
court the Montclair five was leading by
"a to 20. The freshman quintet led by
Is to in the first half, and was over
taken early in the second period. Fouls
were committed often, New York caging
seven and it's rivals ten.
The lineup follows:
Montclalr t2N. Position New York (2S)
Staufer ..........,..R. r. II ................ Cram
Bobbfllk ..............I l.. + F............. Holman
Nm Mhite '..'.......-... g .......-....... Delaney
Fox ...................IA L. G............ Goldberg
Goals from leld-Montcair: stauffer (2). Bobbnk
t2) White (2). Fox New York Cram (2). Hol-
man man ca. DELANEY (3):, Goals from fou-staufer
no). Holman ~. Referee-NIollcr Springfield.
Time Of halycs-Ffteen minutes.
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
New Athletic Officers
Chosen at Fordham

University Athletic Association were
chosen yesterday. The elections are
generally held in June, but owing to
enlistments new slate was selected.
The officers who will serve for the bal
ance Of the year follow:
Francis V. Farrell, of New Rochelle.
president; Joseph j. Dalmases, of New
York City, vice president; John NJ. Cur
ran, of New York, treasurer, and Rich
ard A. kehoe, of New York, secretary
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03
Strict With Boxers

CLEVELAND, Feb. 2.-Clubs desir-
ing permits to conduct boxing shows
in Cleveland henceforth must accom-
p;any. their applications with certified
weight and appearance must be posted
with the commission and the weighing
in must be done under the supervision
of the city sealer.
New-York tribune., 1918-02-03

The Athletic Club of Columbus.
ONO, has arranged match race at
'oo yards, back stroke, between its
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

1t was not long before ne reached
the outskirts Of a town for he had
travelled quickly and the woods where
he lived We're not SO very far off.
though Mr.. Owl felt they were.
"See those buildings" he said to
himself. II think they are stupid.
But I will find out. They don't look
like trees at all. And they're oil light
ed up. So foolish consider"
He found tree which he perched
in for time, and then he saw big
building. He didn't know what it was
for, 1t had so many windows and so
many lights which made him almost
blind.
ut can't be q house for so many
people never belong to one family" he
thought to himself, remembering the
number in his own family.
And he was right! 1t vas great
big hotel. But after a time the lights
began to go out, many of them. Ant
through on open window flew Mr.. Owl
He was most uncomfortable and a.
it was almost daylight he began t.
| think about going home when he hearC
a funny little bell-like sound which
was very shrill and horrid. And thel
q person stirred IN the bed, and h
heard sleepy voice say:
"Oh, goodness! There goes tn
| alarm clock And have to catch tina
early train. Oh, look! An OWL" Ant
| the person screamed very noisily.
But Mr.. Owl flew from the windoy
and back home he went. And he toll
Mrs. Owl that hotels and rooms an
cities and lights and alarm clocks an
rushing for trains were not at all mic
and he showed his wisdom more thai
ever by not having had such things i
his family!
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
DADDyEV[NDN(
.KRY TALL H3
~ MARY GRAHA0 BONNER
THE OWLS TRIP.

II am tired of the trees and the
woods and the outdoor world" said
Mr.. Owl.
"Why sol" asked Mrs. Owl.
Il would like to see more OF the
world"
But you have Travelled a great deal"
said Mrs. Owl.
Not enough" answered Mr.. Owl.
Il am famous for my wisdom, and
when creature is wise 1t is a splen-
did thing. But one can't stay wise
unless one keeps On educating one
self"
Whatever do you nesn?" asked
Mrs. Owl.
NO matter how bright. any one may
be-" said Mr.. Owl, she must keep on
studying and learning all the time
all his life.''
"A great nuisance for those who
don't care about being wise" said Mrs
Owl.
For them it is different, to-wit, to
WOO, very different. They enjoy be
ing stupid. But l enjoy being wise
| must live up to my reputation, ant
the reputation my grandfather an(
great grandfather had before me-"
What makes you use such useless
words?" asked Mrs. Owl. She haC
been afraid she had appeared stupid
and SO now she wanted to seem yer,
bright.
What useless words did I use?
asked Mr.. Owl.
"You said you wanted to live,up t
the reputation your grandfather an
sreat-grandfathe had for being wist
And you spoke of them as your grand
father and great-grandfather befor
YOU"
ITO be sure" said Mr.. Owl. ''the
wouldn't come after me, would they
Grandfathers and great-grandfathe
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
FRIDAY, NAY 81, 1918.
THE LEGION OF DEATH.

The shadow of the iron cross is the
most deadly the world has ever known.
without counting the dead of battle
fields, of conflicts at sea, or the Incl
dentals of either in which men are
slain in more or less excusable WAYS.
Prussianism is the direct cause of tho
starvation of at least 10000 peo-
pie, or death from diseases caused by
insufficient nourishment, within the
last three years. United States Food
Administrator Herbert C. Hoover says
there is no doubt of that. He claims
that number of lives sacrificed to hun
ger in the districts of Europe overrun
by the military power of Germany.
Many hundreds of thousands who
starved to death, including women and
children, died as a deliberate part of
the German policy, as openly expressed
by Won Hindenburg and other war
lords to prominent Americans before we
entered the war Germany wanted the
women and children to starve in Poland
so that the men skilled in the trades
would be forced to go to Germany to
work. 1t is the kaiser blight, cultured
in kultur. Those figures do not includt
the victims of starvation and inciden-
tai diseases whose lives have been lost
in German prisons, or those who have
been carried out as indicated by ths
despatch which says: arrival at Pet
rograd of the first contingent of ! ,50(
Russian prisoners to be exchanged un
der the recent Russo German agreement
is reported. The 1000 are 'veritabl
walking dead men, - These wrecks o
humanity came from the war prisons i,
Germany, where they had been forcet
to work beyond human endurance, be
sides being starved in miserable quar-
tiers. Americans, Englishmen and me
of France and other nations are barrel
living under similar conditions. Thei
numbers are liable to increase as til
war goes on. Some of them will nc
emerge as walking dead men, Tn
devil in the kaiser is only partly mad
| into bullets and shells. The great PEI
| eentage is starvation for human being
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

always come before-just as 1 will
come before my grandchildren and
great grandchildren
Quite true" said Mrs. Owl. "But
l said you had used useless words"
"Ha. ha, to-wit, to-woo," laughed
Mr.. Owl.
"A bright owl you'll are, my DEAR" he
added after moment.
'Why did you say you'were tired of
the trees and the woods, and the out
door worid?' asked Mrs. Owl.
Because I want to see more of'the
world-the inside part of the world
want to see what houses and hotels
are like-apartments and cottages"
What strange Wishes you have!
said Mrs. Owl. do youtexpect me II
take this trip with your
mo. I go in solitary splendor," sale
Mr.. Owl grandly. 81 go to receiv'
knowledge by travelinq And if tia
knowledge amounts tota great deai
/. Will tell you about it,,
SO Off started Mr.. Owl one nigh
when it was very dark. He carried
his suitcase made out Of the bark o
q big tree and it's handle was of twist
ed sprigs.
I'm going very far,"ihe said to,him
ser. Very. very far taway-tos tn
II e.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
Little Benny's
Note Book
By LEE PAPE

/ dident go out last mite, on account
of not being allowed to, and pop sed TO
ma, Watts Benny sitting Ground like a
lost sole for
Hes bin a bad boy, that's wy, sed ma,
and pop sed, Watts he bin up to now?
| don't know weather | can tell you
without getting mad all over agen, sed
ma, in fact, | get madden every time |
think of it. This aftirnoon | was all
reddy to go out, and | went to look for
my new hat, and it wasent in the box,
and | thawt, That's funny, and | herd a
noise outside and | looked out my WIN
dow and who was down there but this
Young man. heer, with my new hat on
his he'd making some sort of speetch
about wimin suffridge or sumthing to a
lot of yelling kids from all over the nay
| berhoood
| Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, sed pop laffing
| That's rite incurridge him, by all meens
sed ma, Wat good does it do for me tC
get SO mad, wen you calmly sit there and
laff?
I'm not laffing at him, ha ha ha. sec
non. YOU don't need to think I'm laffins
at you, Benny, I'm laffing at sumthins
| funny / herd one time. Wat did he say
! IL. Ills SDeSicH, UiCthiii Wat uiu he soy
You don't Suppose ! was in any humol
to lissen to his nonsents do you? sed ma
and | sed Ill tell you wat | sed, pop
| sed, Fellow stizens, if US wimin wun
to vote watts it your business? If II
wimmen ony voted. the men woodent &c
so mulch graft. for the simple reezol
because ms wimin would get some of it
Fellow sitizens-
Ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, sed pc
laffing
Go ahed, incurridge him, incurridg
him, sed ma.
Benny, that was very nawty of yo,
| ha ha ha. and if | Good stop thinking c
, of sumthing funny that sumbody toll
me wunts, ha ha ha, | wood serteny Civ
you a good tawking, to, ha Ia ha, ha h;
sed pop.
p Do you wunt to heer the rest of til
speetch. pop? l sed,
Wilyum, if you allow that boy to 50
another werd / will wawk rite out
: this house and never come back agel
t sed ma.
Benny not another ha ha ha wor
I. your mother and l are both exceeding
ha ha ha angry with you. sed pop. Ar
t he started TO look at the joaks in II
s paper and kepp on latin and pretcndir
. he was latin at the joaEs, and ma g
madden and madden and called upstar
to my sister GIaddis and went out to Il
movies with her, and l tod pop the re
d of the speetch and he LATED some MOI
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
A HERO EVERY DAY
Brave Deeds of Men in Americas
Fighting Service.

Handling a ship under difficulties has
just won for Lieutenant Commander
Albert B. Randall, United States Naval
Reserve Force, the commentator of
the navy department. He won this by
his initiative in taking his vessel, the
L. S. s. Standard Arrow, from her berth
at an Atlantic port, when the condition
of the tide was unfavorable, and after
harbor pilots had refused to accept the
responsibility. The feat was performed
at night and without mishap. As a re-
suit. the shipment of large and val
liable cargo was expedited. Lieutenant
Commander Randall's next of kin is
his wife, Mrs. Dorothy Clara Randall
who resides at 1865 Park avenue
Bridgeport, Connecticut.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

Admiral Won Tirpitz is on record as
having pledged his professional repu-
tation a year ago, that, if Germany
used the submarine without restriction
or conjunction, Great Britain would be
starved into submission before the end
of six months. Twice six months have
passed, and the exports of meat prod
ucts from the United States, mostly to
Great Britain and the other entente
nations, have increased during the peri
cd from l69,00O,OOO to 359,OOO,O 0C
pounds. The reputation of Won Tir.
pitt has outlasted Count Zeppelin IS, but
when the plain people of Germany
learn that the daily allowance of beet
is rising rather than falling, in Great
Britain, it will be in serious peril. H.
one hope lies in conccaling the fact.
from the plain people of Germany.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

for young women for this important war
service and use its influence in securing
them. In The Meddler's opinion this
seems to offer the county organization a
fine opportunity to show the same zeal
and efficiency in providing for the fami-
lies at home that it has shown in contrib
uting to the welfare and comfort of the
boys at the front. 1t should take up with
the suggestion at once.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
TO THE SUBSCRIBERS.

II Is the aim OF the management to
secure efficient service in the delivery OF
the paper each night, and II solicts the
cooperation Of subscribers to that end
Prompt reports should be given OF each
failure to receive the paper on the morn
ing following~ the omission, in person.
by telephone or postal card. thus enabling
the cause OF the error to be promptly
and accurately discovered and the proper
remedy Immediately applied. 1t is only
by this method that the publisher car
secure the desired service.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
STATE NEWS NOTES.
DR.. Kirkland, President

The 6Sth annual meeting of the State
Homeopathic society was held Wednes-
day in Montpelier with a good attend
ance.
The feature of the meeting was a
paper on " Infections of the Gall Blad-
der. - by DIR. D. G. Wilcox of Boston.
Officers elected for the coming year
are as follows:
President. DIR. E. d. Kirkland Of
Bellows Falls; vice president, DIR. G. f
Morgan of Burlington; secretary, DR.
G. I. Forbes of Burlington; treasurer
DR.. f. f. Steele of Montpelier; censors
DR.. kirkland. DR.. Steele and DR.. c. A
Gale of Rutland.
! The next meeting will be held May
4, 1919, the place to be chosen by d
committee of Drs. Sam Sparhawk and
George |. Forbes of Burlington.
The name of Lieut.. tCholmondeley
Thornton, one of the young men accept
cd for the Vermont Red Gloss am
bulance corps which was raised in Rut
land and disbanded, appears among th'
severely wounded in recent casualt,
list. Lieut. Thornton is the son of Mrs
Guy B. Johnson of Old Bennington
When the Vermont ambulance corp
was disbandcd he hurried to New Yorl
and was just in time to sail late II
July with the Norton Hargis hospita
unit. He had attended the first OF
ficers' school at Plattsburg and 500
after his arrival in France was com
missioncd second lieutenant of til
first division, 9Th United States icl
artillery.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
TO ADVERTISERS.

Transient advertisng-Run OF paper,
so cents an inch for first insertion. rs
cents an inch for each subsequent inser-
ton. Limited space on first page at
double rates.
Space rates on application.
Classified advertisements-Five cents a
line first insertion with SO per cent dis
count for each subsequent insertion
without change OF copy.
Reading Notices--Ten cents per line,
first insertion with so per cent discount
for each subsequent insertion without
change of copy.
Position 10 per cent extra.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

We people who stay at home and sub
scribe to war chests and pay increased
taxes to the government are doing
mighty little after all compared with
the boys who go across seas to fight the
enemy of all free peoples. We ought
to give, give freely and whole heartedly,
and be thankful that even in our small
way we are doing something to help win
the war.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

of the public as maniac running
armed with a dangerous wea-
pom. Men everywhere ought to reeog
nize the fact that automatic machines
AMI alcohol will not mix, and that any
attempt to mix them will result in Sc
we're punishment.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

The Reformer IL on sale every evening
by the following news dealers:
brattleboro. Brattleboro News Co, c..
w. cleveland, s. l. Purinton (Estey-
ville), Brooks House Pharmacy, Allen g
Depot Newsstand, Mrs. d. F. Doyle,
South Main Street.
West erattieboro, J. L. Stockwell.
last Oummerston, M. Z. Brown
Putney, M. G. Williams
Newfane, n. NJ. Batchelder.
Iownshend. G. w. Cutler.
West Townshend, c. H. Grout.
Jamaica, r. j. Daggett
South Londonderry, F. H Tyler.
South Vernon, f b. Bufrum.
Mortified, Mass. Thompson Bros.
West Chesterfield, NJ. H., Mrs W.
Streeter.
tinsda'e. NJ. H., W. II. Lyman.
Bellows Falis, Depot Restaurant.
windsor, W., Windsor Restaurant
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

lebodied young men will not
dawdle around pleasure resorts a large
part of the summer this year. The rule
that. all who do not fight must work will
go into effect July l. The young men
that the girls admire these days are
those who are willing to give their
services to their country.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

The courts are giving stiff fines and
Jail sentences to the men who run auto
mobiles or motor cycles while under the
influence of liquor. This is the correct
thing to do. A man drunk in machine
is as much of menace to the safety
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
A Real Diplomat.

She-Do you think it is possible for
man to love two women at onceg
Young Soldier-Yes, twenty at once
if they were all like you.-Judge.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31

Illinois is the only state IN the Union
which failed to go over the top IN Red
Cross subscriptions.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
Member OF the Associated Press.

The Associated Press Is exclusively
entitled to the use for publication of all
news dispatches credited to 1t and not
the local news published herein.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-05-31
The MeddIer
III he coat ets yos. pat Il On"

In spending the state highway money
on the main road between here and East
Guilford Commissioner Wallace is taking
a course which will doubtless receive gen.
eral commentator. Available for this
work is approximately $500 in addition
to special appropriation which the state
has agreed to make to take care of blast
ing expense, and Mr. Wallace is using the
money to widen and straighten the road
up the Hill beyond the fair ground en-
trance. That this is part of what
should be the main thoroughfare from
New York to the White Mountain region
is a fact which Mr.. Wallace had in mind
when he decided to improve it. If SINH
lar improvement could be made all along
the road southwark to the Massachusetts
line there is no question that much of the
northbound automobile traffic which now
swings into New Hampshire could be kept
on this side of the river where naturally
enough Vermonters want to see it kept
As it is, tourists cannot be expected tC
travel the narrow road from Bernardstor
northward through Guilford when they
have the choice of a much wider and
better highway in another direction The
AIeddler has contended for long time
that the state highway department
doesn't appreciate the necessity of i'm
proving its highway entrances at thi.
corner of Vermont. He is glad, there
fore, to note start in the right direction