The weekly Iberian. (New Iberia, La.) 1894-1946, 1918-03-30
Mr.. SIMPkINS PAYS
s.e4 HIS INCOME TAX
Nv ROBERT McBLAIR.

on the wall till his eyes filled with
terfs. 1t was q portrait OF his father,
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor during the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Simpkins throat
ached now for two reasons: First, he
reyerenced and adored the memory or
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
20 to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromls-
ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw
In Imagination, the khaki-clad lads OF
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousar% .uiles of sea to
fight, maybe dc, for liberty.
MR. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages Of sixteen
and seyenteen) were where they couid
see him, then he Strengthened ana
threw his right arm up FOR salute
But his equity shoulder twinged, ana ne
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
Damn !" said Mr. Slmpkins, and
with his other hand fiercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the IL
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal ReVe'
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
MFR. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to Just about $4,000, and ne
had been rather snappy on the SUD
feet of taxes ever since he had discov'
cred that the more income man has
the greater the percentage OF 1t ne
paws in taxes. He could think or sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet
although their incomes were nearly
half Of his, they would pay only
small fraction of the amount he paid
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling In the Information
that It asked for.
AS Mr.. Simpkins' income was Sl5,OO
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smalle
classes of incomes In order to arriv'
at the total due from himself. III
passed over the first class who mus
pay taxes, that is, single men MAXIM
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay 2 per cent. (unde
the 1915 law on all Income owe
$4,000, deducting $500 for each Of thei
children under eighteen years. In MI
Simpkins' case this was S2l2, which d
put down In the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 191
law, married men pay an additional
per cent. on all over S2,0OO-with tn
same allowance for children. TIL
added 1852 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for ever
$500 Jump In his income over $500
he had to pay Sustax, the percentag
growing larger with each jump. Thi
was $3.50 more added to his burdeT
And on top Of all this came an "El
cess Profits" tax OF 8 per cent. on a
Occupation" inccDae over $4,000, NAL
ing S720 more.
The total, then, be must pay was fou
teen hundred and thlrty-four dollars.
"Whew!" exclaimed Mr.. Simpkir
angrily. There's young Henry WI
kins, who married; Jake Johnson's CIR
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay
cent Of taxes. guess this is his we
as we'll as miner,
Thinking Of ydung Henry Wilkin
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins wei
every afternoon to make bandageS 4,
the Red Cross and that Henry, wi
was lawyer, was aiding the Loo
Draft Board With its Questionnaires
SWELL" he admitted to himse
shat makes difference"
He thought next Of Judge Willoug
by, whose income was about $4,000.
"He only pays 500" commented NJ
S,mpkins, not quite so angrily tn
time; and then "a thought struck hi
and he sat up rfgidly in his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had BET
drowned on the 'Tuscania when it WI
summarized with the loss Of two hu
dred soldiers.
"Judge Willonghby gave his son
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and p
his face in his hands.
l For q long time Mr.. Simpkins s
y very still In that position. There W
no sound In the library except Il
ticking Of the tall clock and an occ
sional trill Of laughter from the ch
dren skylarking upstairs. The sQua
Of light on the carpet gradually wit
drew itself through the window, a
first twilight and then darkness settl
In about the quiet, white haired, SON
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking thin
which he would never afterward spe
of, he was thinking things that we
too sacred ever to be put into wor,
l.ut some inkling of his thoughts m
be found in his rejoinder to NJ
Simpkins when that placid lady cal
In and turned On the lights, and ask
him whether he was ready for dim
Judge Willoughbys only son "
worth as much as fourteen hundr
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't ht
Mr.. Simpkins demanded Of her.
As bis wife, who was not unused
his superficial irritations, watched h
in mild establishment, Mr.. Simpk
limped out to the hall and took
old felt hat and silver-headed ca
<,o,,, fho hot rack Letting himself 4