The evening Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1918-1920, 1918-12-06
'THEEXITOF
MIR. TUMULT And
MISSSHOUTINC
Story of the Destruction of
the Soldier by the Aut- \
hOr ''Pigs Is Pigs"
JEFFERSON JUNCTION
FETES MR.. LUNK
But After the War He Was
Z Only Noticed Just Be-
fore Election Day

When Henry K Lunk came march
ing back to Jefferson Junction, Iowa,
during the Civil War, with one arm
off 1T the shoulder and the other off
at the elbow, the village turned out
and held a Henry X. Lunk meeting
at Odd Fellows Hall, with free food,
free speech, and free music by the
Jefferson Junction Juvenile Band.
The mayor told almost three hundred
citizens and boys that Henry was
hero, an honor to Jefferson Junction
and, to put it in the mildest possible
terms, the pride of Jefferson juno
ton, the State of Iowa, the United
States of America, and the Universe.
To hear the mayor tell it the stars
in their courses would stand still
thereafter every time Henry X. Lunk
wanted them to, and the sun would
come right down to the corner of
Main and Cross streets and offer its
fame every time Henry wanted to
light his pipe. Only he would NOT
have pipe. Jefferson Junction would
keep him in genuine imported Havana
cigars for the rest of his natural life.
The Civil War was going on just
then and everytime there was vic
tory Jefferson Junction howled with
joy. Every time there was defeat
the town yelled with rage. There was
nothing in the world as big and i'm
portant as the war, and there was
nothing IN the world too good for
Henry K. Lunk
At the big Hero Henry meeting in
Odd Fellows Hall there was food
enough to last Henry six weeks, and
he ate until his eyes stuck out. He
sat on the platform right beside the
mayor, and all eyes were on him. At
the close of the meeting the mayor
demanded, IS the only possible-tfring
to do, that everybody chip in to create
fund to be given to Henry, and ev
erybody chipped. There was a paste
board shoebox almost half full of
money. and when the mayor handed it
to Henry he reached out his stump Of
an arm before he realized he did not
have even one hand left with which
3 to take the money, and everybody
laughed and cried at the same time,
and then cheered Henry X Lunk.
The mayor said, in closing the meet
ing, that Jefferson Junction consider
cd Henry a sacred charge and that,
come what might, Henry would never
feel want while one stone stood upon
another in jefferson Junction.
AS Jefferson Junction was built al
most entirely of wood, with one or
two brick buildings, this was a safe
assertion. The only place where one
stone ever did stand on another was in
front of the Hotel, where the village
loafers usually played Duck-on-Davy.
But it was grand night for Henry.
He had lost his arms but Jefferson
junction told him he did not need any
arms. 1t offered him free food, free
clothing, and free shelter. 1t was
wild to give them to him. 1t did not
whisper tit yelled it. Mr.. Tumult
and Miss Shouting made the we'll
known welkin ring as it had never
lung before in Odd Fellows Hail.
That was up to ten o'clock that night
Then Mr.. Tumult and Miss Shouting
put on their wraps and went home.
For a week Henry X. Lunk receiv-
led invitations to dinner, but he was
not expert at feeding himself with his
bad arm yet, and that soon played
out.
l., loI Tn
mutt and Miss Shouting never came
around at all except toward election
day, and then they did not pay mucf
attention to Henry. He was only one
vote. He was only battered-up eX
soldier in faded uniform, and there
were many older battered-up soldiers
in faded uniforms.
The war being over, people grew
tired of hearing of the war and o.
thinking of war. About the bes
Henry K. Lunk could do was to 81
on the bench in front of the hotel ant
watch the other fellows play Ring
Toss or Duck-on-D Davy. He got hi
pension and lived on that somehow
mainly by grating his chewing tobac
co from someone who could earn
living He managed to live, but tha
was about all. He was moving aroun,
Jefferson Junction the last time | wa
there, some fifteen years ago,fa sad
faced, useless, sick-of-life old man
He had done his share in one of tn
biggest things in the world which i
War, but he could not dc! his shar
in the other biggest thing the yer.
biggest thing of all-which is Peace.
The glad words that the presenc
of Mr.. Tumult and Miss Shouting ha,
put into the mouth of fhe mayor a
the end of the meeting in Odd Eel
lows Hall never came to anything
real. Jefferson Junction did not fee
and elothe and house Henry K. LunE
Why? Because while IA nation IS a