The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1918-12-21
KAISER
MAKES HIS WILL
WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN RE-
VOKES ALL HIS FORMER WILLS
AND TESTAMENTS
In the name Of Gott. Amen

In the name OF Gott. Amen.
l take the name of Gott again in
vain | have violated every rule of
| Gott, but the people must be fooled. l.,
| Wilhelm, the greatest murderer the
world has ever known fearing that all
my low, underhanded and vile schemes
will not protect me now that the Yanks
are on the job, and feeling that they
are going to make this world an un-
safe place for me, | make and declare
this to be my last will and testament: ::
First My first wish and desire now
that the Bolsheviki is getting it in the
nechski; is to will Russia to my silly
sons: so they can get Cannon Fodder
there for future wars, but | fear Pres
ident Wilson will rescind this clause, and
give Russia to her people | hate this,
because I hate democracy.
Second. I give and bequeath to
France all of her land and Alsace and
Lorraine, not that I love France so
much, but I cannot stand the million
voices of her seventy-fives, that have
walked me in my sleep, and bother me
by day They have spoken SO loud, and
often, that I must heed their cry. | do
not like to do this, but | cannot re-
sist the temptation now to return stolen
property.
Third. I give and bequeath to Bel
gium her land and ruined homes. 1t is
my wish, however, that I be not made
to pay for all the damage done; for |
had to satisfy my fiendish soldiers who
destroyed; because they were ordered
to do So I trust the good Aires who
I have hated so much, will not make
me pay for the destruction, for | love
to be cruel, but hate to pay for it.
Fourth. give and bequeath to Italy,
peace and quiet of her domains, for her
gallant soldiers did not treat my brave
and kind men tenderly, and as | do
not want my refined Huns and their
Austrian brothers contaminated by
Ita1y's brave men, I generously give
up all claim to her territory
Fifth To Great Britain I leave the
air and sea; as my attempts to control
both were so hard and trying on my
brave men, that | have decided out OF
the bigness of my heart to let her have
her gallant navy, her airplanes and her
sea coast unmolested by my will.
Sixth To America and the 4anks
will and direct that they have free
passage home. the sooner the better for
the Dear Fatherland" for of all the
nations that have destroyed the peace
and quiet Of my old age, the Yanks
have done more than their share. My
love for them is so great, and they have
been so kind in their dealings with my
Prussian Guards, and other cracked
regiments, I will that they all be
bought free ticket home at once.
Seventh. | give to my good, kind
friend Satan, who stood by me in all
the four years of warfare, and guiding
my every move, the famous Hindenburg
Line: if | am stiff the possessor of the
same at the time of my death as my
brave men driven by their brave Of
ficers report to me that since the Tom
mics, Canadians, Australians, French,
Be1gians and Yanks have started to
explore Von's possessions, it would make
a good addition to He'll
Eighth I will that my body be
buried in ten thousand fathems of wa
ter. Not that | love the watery grave
given to so many innocent women and
children by my venomous submarines,
but so that the world will not be able
to find my body and heap millions OF
curses upon it until the end of the
universe.
Ninth. 7 appoint and nominate
Prince Maximilian to be my executor,
to carry out this, my last will, and pull
the peace chestnuts out of the TIRE II
he should fall in and be burned to
death, then I appoint anyone who is will
ing to risk his life to save the Father
land for my most brilliant and unsuc-
cessful son, the Crown Prince.
(Signed) H. I. M. WILHELM,
German Emperor.
Signed by the above named Wilhelm,
as his last will in the presence of us, his
ministers and keepers present at the
same time, who in his presence and in
the presence of each other, have here
unto subscribed our names as wit
nesses.
Won HINDENBERG,
Won BUELOW,
Won BOEHM,
LUNDENDORF,
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