Trench and camp. ([Admiral, Md.) 1917-1919, 1918-12-26
Column III
BY ROBERT D. GOODWIN. I

Peace on earth" big bills to men.
All swearing in the Army isn't done
solemnly.
No, Chauncey, high balls' aren't
thrown from airplanes.
Rupert Hughes, must have an ardent
friend in our canteen, for each time
we go for something and he hasn't u
we remark something cauatic and ne
says, Well we can't have every
thing"
ARMY blankets gone up" says
bulletin. Generally we find ours on
the floor in the A. III.
To abolish surplus mess funds. most
companies are giving ChristmAs uiM- n
ners. Remember what o. Henry gaioY
Wonder what they do for the other
3s4."
what sign is it when your left hnnd
itches?' asked a soldier of his tremch
huddie.
Coolies" replied the buddie.
Nov IL those French chefs don't spoii
the Presidents appetite for "hog-And-
harmony"
washington is wondering what win
McAdOO.
=,
ton that among other noted crowns
slated to go are those OF Budweisers
Schlitx ct al. W.
Irwin Cobb was paidSa great tribute
when a Memphis, Tenh., reporter Aaid:
Cobb can't be reported--he can only
be appreciated"
On bet that we couldn't rhyme
shear luck" say the editors
When reading jokes better than
theirs. 49,
or course. the only credit given
Falls to the lot of a pair of shears.
Kings are good enough in their
way. maybe. but we did not bother
much with them. What we are wait
ing for is your President"
Thus remarked Partisan reporter,
crumbling the theory of thoee stu
dents of government who assert that
Kingdoms or empires only survive,
and that democracies perish,
It's a pipe that no modern Inventors
have kept awake nights. trying TO-
invent decent Logging.
there 1 because he executed il -caDs.
Infinite, u. S. A"
Broadway producers will not have
to worry about the costumes Of their
chorus men. o. d. will be o. K.
Cigarette .mendicants will be fewer
, after Christmas.
Let's spell it Christmas. and not
put an 'sx'ss to it like we did Bilious
Bill
Don't count your chickens before
YOU buy the eggs.
obstructing the draft: Shut that
door" n
IF the baby has to be left alone
says sSergt. Kirby. give 1t jar or
molasses and a bag OF feathers 20
play with; it'll be SO busy picking
'em off it will not have time to cry.
Robinson Crusoe was the original
goat getter.
The chaplains are all working to
, beat he'll.
If one American soldier captured
176 Germans. how many German sol
diers would it take to capture one
American?
what branch of the Army are You
. in?' questioned civilian.
"Branch, hell" said the soldier I
chop the biggest trees in the forest !
If the laundry don't return before
: Christmas eve. Santa Claus had bet
ter wear gas mask
'eWhere are you going to spend
| Christmas asked Corp. May.
) I've already spent it, replied
: Sergt. Stoever.
, A substitute for platinum is not
new Woolworth has been selling II .
: long time.
! One veteran who has already dOnned
. his 'Eivilized" clothes said they made
him feel as If he'd forgotten some
J thing.
, , This is the season for squirting into
your mail for the little blue Slip and
IL you see it the sQiunt becomes ~
smile.
; FAMOUS REPETITIoNs.
1919
We have a mess sergeant who CAM
cook oysterless stew.
: There is no excuse why any mani
should drop his government tnauri
ance. Think it over. and if you d0nsg'
know it's benefits and possibilities
ask about them.
And. now the "star" boarders are
coming home.
Henry Ford's newspaper will prOba-
bly, be called Ford Jolts."
The Washington bootleggers are