The Yale expositor., 1918-07-04
Feathering
His Nest
r.
By WILLIAM HAMILTON OSBORNE
OF The Vigii0nfes

>
only recently he came into the lime
light. Old Hezekiah Hopper died
year or so ago and left two million
dollars. He left half his fortune to his
nephew, another young man of the
name of Latimer Cobb, and the other
half he left to his other nephew, Hard
shell Hopper. Hardshell is called that
because he's got that kind of shell,
or so it would seem. The testator had
this money all nicely invested In good
paying five and six per cent securities
For about year the young man
clipped their coupons and collected
their dividends. The war was in their
midst, and young Latimer Cobb sub
scribed to everything i'm sight, and got
his name in the papers and kept it
there. He must have given up as
much as fifty thousand dollars out of
his million. to the Liberty loan. the
Red Cross, the Red Triangle and other
things that came along.
''But what really want to do" said
Latimer Cobb. ''is to double or treble
my money-then I'll give twenty-five
per cent of all l make to furthering
our interests in the war"
He looked about him. He picked out
a good likely looking munitions stock.
If money had to be made out of the
war by munitions concerns he might
as well make some of it, then, as he
said, he would turn around and give
a lot of it to the war. and get his
name in the papers and keep IL there,
right along. He was a patriot, he
knew he was a patriot, and he kept
saying so. He was proud of 1t, in
fact. 4Sr,
But Hardshell Hopper wasn't-he
admitted that he wasn't. A friend of
Hardshell's who was going around sell
ing Liberty bonds went to see Hard
shell about buying some of the bonds.
"Now, that's a pity" groaned Hard
shell Hopper, "but fact is, Steve, just
this morning 1 invested my whole pile
in first-class, gilt-edged securities. l
amt got dollar left. Now, If you'd
been around here yesterday"
Next night Steve, his friend, came
around again. Steve shook him earn
estly by the hand. "Why, Hardshell,"
he cried, you're the biggest patriot In
this town. You've invested all your
money! million or more in the Lib
erty loan. You're the biggest man
we've GOETHE foremost of our pa
triots."
Hardshell Hopper shook his head.
Don't get off your trolley, Steve" he
said, 81 amt a patriot. My cousin,
Latimer CObb-he's a patriot-every-
you. man, I've only been feathering my
nest"
you've put one million dollars into
this war;" said Steve.
1--WE tucked one million away
where it's safe and SOUND" drawled
Hardshell Hopper, where l don't have
TO worry about it. / got a security
that won't be taxed, and that's as gilt
edged as they make 'em, backed by
about three hundred billion dollars
worth of asSets-and that's enough
for me. But don't you go calling me
names don't deserve. 1 amt no pa
triot. I'm only feathering my nest.
If you want a patriot you go to my
cousin, Latimer. He's the boy for
you"
Steve went around to see Hardshell's
cousin, Latlmer.
"At any rate" he said to Latimer, II
can sell some bonds to you"
Latimer glowed with patriotism.
"Steve," he said, 81 promise you you'll
be the boy I'll buy 'em of. And I'm
going to buy a lot. But just now
haven't got dollar to my name. I've
plunged on some munitions stock
there's been a fiurry-it's gone down
on me, and 1 can't get out without
most tremendous loss. All 1 can do is
to hang on like grim death. But the
minute that L make a handsome profit,
Steve, I'm yours. There's no man for
five hundred miles around that's got
a warmer feeling for the old flag than
Latimer Cobb. can tell you those"
But Latimer didn't make a hand
some proft-he didn't make any profit.
Instead, one fine morning his shares or
stock turned worthless on his hands.
The concern whose stock he'd bought
was as worthless as the stock.
AS In a flash, one day, he found
himself penniless. He had to turn to
and earn his living. Hardshell Hopper
gave him a job that kept body and
soul together. But one day something
happened. 1t must be remembered
that Latimer Cobb, like his cousin,
Hardshell Hopper, had received for
one year at least, the income on those
five per cent securities that their dead
uncle had invested In. So Latimer
Cobb had had an income-and he had
filed an income tax return. His In
come had been about fifty thousand
for the year-and the present income
tax on fifty thousand dollars is consid-
cradle. But Latimer Cobb, the young
patriot, whose Intentions had been so
good and who was going to do so well
by the government, found himself with
-. a IL. n