Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1918-11-01
PRINCE WILL WRITES
WANTS KAISER TO SEND AMER
ICANS HIS GREAT SPEECHES
TO SCARE THEM


! Scrgt. D. McAndrews, Desmo1nes
boy, who is training at Valparaiso, has
sent friend here an interesting letter,
says the Hartley Qowa) Sentinel, pur-
porting to have been written by the
crown prince to his papa, the kaiser.
The letter follows:
Somewhere in France, On der run.
Dear Papa: ! =,
I am writing on der run, as der brave
and glorious soldiers under my command
have not seen de Rhine for so long dat
dey started back that y,and Of course
I am going nit them. Oh, papa, der has
some offel dings happen here in France.
First I started on my big offensive
which was to crush the fool Americans
but dey know so little about military
tactics dat dey will not he crushed just
like want dem. I sent my men in
der fight in big waves and. ven dey got
to the Americans they all said boo -
just as loud as dey could boiler.
We, according to vat you have tole
me, de Americans have turned and run
like blazes, but vat do you think? Dem
fool Americans don It know anything or
var, and instead of runnin der odder
way dey came right at us. Some Of dem
back till its over over dere', or some
odder foolish songs, and some Of dem
were laffing like fools. Dey are so tg-
norant.
But dey are offel reckless NIT dere
guns, and ven dey come toward us it
was den my men took notion dey
wanted to go back to de Rhine. We don't
like the dirty little Marne river anyway.
And Oh, papa, dem Americans use such
offel language. And dey talk blasphemy
too. Vat you think dey said rig ht In
front Of my facet One big husky from
a place dey call Iowa, he said-oh, pa
hate to tell you vat an offel thing he
said-but cant help it-he said ITO
hell init der kaiser" I didn't think
anybody would say such an offel ding.
And fudermore dem Americans amt
much of chentlemens. It made me so
mad to hear such offel ting so i
turned around and run NIT der other
boys. Vas I right9 Vats And oh, papa,
you know dem breast plates vat you
sent us, can you send US some for our
backs? You know we are going de oder
way now and breast plates are no good
de cowardly Americans are always
shooting us right in de back.
Some Of our boys took off der breast
plates and put dem behind but der
fool Americans are playing Der Star
Spangled Banner nit machine guns on
dem plates. Can It you help us? Remem-
Der on your great speech you said moth
ing could stand before de great Ger
mans.
Oh, papa, I don't believe deese ig-
norant Americans ever read your speech
for dey run after us like We vas lot
F., of rabbits. Vot you tink of dat? Won't
you send dem some Of your speeches
right away? Dey >. don't know
how terrible We are! Can't you move my
army back to Belgium we're We yum all
de times My men will vim all de yemen
and childrens vot dem Belgians can
bring us, but desc Americans are so
rough and ignorant.
We can't make dem understood dat
We are de greatest soldiers on the earth
and ven We try to sing "Deutchland
Uber Alles'' dey laff like lot of mon
keys, but We are getting de best Of de
Americans. We can outrun dem, papa.
If We are not de best fighters on earth
We are de best runners. Nobody can keep
UP nit US ven We tink Of der old Rhine.
And my army never 'tink so much of de
dear old Rhine as dey do now. Let me
know vot to do right away by return
DOstOffice.