davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
MIRACLE OF MUSCLE SHOALS From the ri-Cities Daily.


 The Birmingham Age Herald calls its Sheffield correspondent an ardent prophet" That's becase the man who |colned the new name for the booster Of the Muscle Shoals district hasn't been up here and seen what's happen ing. There cannot be too much said for the future of this section industrially. It is limitless-and the men who are in touch with it have very little difficulty in visioning the city that must stand at the Niagara of the south Nothing short of cataclysm which would cause the Tennessee river to go dry can prevent the building of that city. Come and see, brother, if you think we have prophets who are too ardent. This is one of the things too big for wordsworth have ito come and look at it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
LUKE nr,LuKE SAYS

It is good thing to remember, as VOL
 wobble along in this old vale of disap- continent, that you are not going to get
 any more out of life than you put into it. If another man differs with you it is no sign that you are right. But if your wife differs with you it is sure sign that you are wrong.
 With from to 14 cents added to every thing you eat, and from 50 cents to s1 50
 added to everything you wear, what has become of the ld-fashioned housewife who could make little money go a long way?
 The prospective June brides are now lawling around looking forward to lives of ease and luxury. And the June brides who had the same outlook year ago now have ( the baby in one hand and the skillet in the other and are won-
 dering what Nav put in the coffee to
 make them foolish enough to marry. A single man can think up an explan- ! ation. But married man has to stick to plain damlis.
 Friend Wife is afraid to stop and look into show window when she is out | walking with Friend Husband. She knows that if she does, Friend Husband will be square ahead of her when she turns around.
 | country that if girls ankles are not as l big as mans she imagines that she has a shapely figure
 | And it is easy to take well-balanced view of life if your bank account hap l pens to be that way.
 1 The reason why a wife can't under stand a husband is because the blamed
 idiot is so ungrateful for very much and
 so grateful for Very little.
 | Of course it is none of our business
 but summer IS here and the birds art
 singing and the trees are green ant
 the girls are wearing what they please
 and the sun is shining But what we
 wanted to know was. what has become l of the o. f. drug store that used to sel | bust developer?
 1 The minute woman finds a man sh, :. can't make a fool of she proceeds tc make a fool of herself over him. l Isn't it funny that girl never get;
 corns until the day after you marry her
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
oyERHEATED IMAGINATION
From the Springfield Republican.

IOul luS ASlu
 Congressman Kitchin generously ac- quits Secretary McAdoo of guilty com plicity in an alleged intrigue of pulp fishers of periodicals and newspapers Ito force new revenue legislation at this session in order to secure the repal of the provisions of the present revenue |act establishing the zone postage sys- item; but the congressman seems dis posed to believe that the administra- tion's insistence on new revenue bill this summer is somehow due to pub fishers conspiracy. MT. Kitchins inn |agination has become overheated He
 sees things" Why should MT McAdoo, |after boldly discharging all the rail- road presidents in the United States suddenly become afraid of lot of hard up magazine publishers?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
THE DESERTED PALACE:

eis56 A. DFrom the Chinese by Kenneth Norris < t was a Prince
 a dwell delight all flow
 And to and TO And not so splendid night So loud he and Theyc could dnoth a Noro the fromt the now he of flow.
 And Andn forbids the 4
 Through and refto of the belying Curtain that mould now wa; And birdsfl he eeren And signing night and Starlight lamp glow
 Diuness. foro and light; And dlutea lutan a-lo Singer and she since silen quite Onlyt the liver still AS Taitsong came in all his md And he and heard he wave fall L.
 Long since? --Inde 'ts fo-
 Not ma ago. at al
 And the ea-wnd Soft the beaches low the wavelets plash fall
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
MISSOURI GENIUS

From the St Louis Republic
 The Literary Digest and New fork Evening Post poke fun at our Missouri |poets. but why should we care? MS |souri is not dependent upon it's poets' any more than it is dependent upon us mules alone, for glory. Missouri pro- duces poets and mules, just as 1t pro duces bumper corn crops and big water melons, because it possesses fertile soil and is glad to enrich the world ln- |tellectually and materially.
 The Literary Digest hesitates about including George Creel among the SIX major poets" of Missouri. There is no need for apology. If barred from the poet class, Creel can easily find place among the fighters. And speaking of lighters, Missouri gave the nation Per shing, the msa who leads our armies abroad, and Crowder. the man who raises them at home General Crowder, by the way. was to have been doc
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
snInn Incohs Tells One

"A boy at the Tutwiler was paging
 Robert Ewing on the second floor, just
 outside the ballroom on Wednesday as
 the Rotarians were leaving" said Solon
 Jacobs, "and up spoke 'Rote' and ven tured the remark that he was not pres ent
 T asked why he was so sure. and was told because l did not hear him speak Now I think that is pretty hard on
 Bob as ever since our veterinarian doctor member operated on him, he has been talking less than of yore."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
3s,.!kzttMs6a.salI
SOLIDARITY WINS

From the Birmingham Ledger.
 Bessemer wins again. Bessemer gen.
 erally wins. It has a solidarity of cit |izenship which goes out for things en masse with definite statement as to what is wanted. When the board of revenue held up construction of the new
 courthouse at Bessemer and bethought Itself of purchasing the Realty building
 for courthouse purposes instead the |citizens of Bessemer protested. They protested time and again. Although
 there were delays in getting the entire board together to pass finally upon the matter. they protested still. The board has yielded. By unanimous vote the building of the courthouse will pro- coed. It is another victory for solt- darity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
 IT 7NVESTIGATION of 200 cases in
 which it was asserted that glass S had been put in food shows that in one instance glass actually was found in food. It was put in bread py a bakers appretice who had i'll Will toward his employer. and neither the employer nor the employe was German CT a pro-German
 At least one military officer bobbed up with a highly sensational story that glass bad been found in nu- merous supplies of food provided TOT soldiers at a cantonment. It afterward was explained that the officer was sui fering from a nervous collapse. Many persons not under discipline and not re- sponsible to the United States govern ment for spreading falsehood have stated that glass was found in food. Many or them, no doubt, will adhere to thelr stories and none of them will suffer ner- vous collapse, but it seems that the mere
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
New Orleans Is Running

"It makes a fellow feel mighty good to get back in dear ole Birmingham after spending months away, said John Shelby, who is giving much of his time to the Crescent City. 'I am pleased to state that the Birmingham spirit has gotten to New Orleans and that she is getting in good and strong behind all the war activities. The city by the gulf is humming"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
Johns Has Hnrd Luck

'T sure did play in bad luck at Rick wood park on Tuesday afternoon when the Kiwanis braves .scalped the Rotes' and got their revenge for last years defeat" said Wallace Johns.
 "It was bad enough to lose the ball game, but to have my friend Biddle's dog bite me was rubbing it in more than skin deep. I really did not mind the flesh wound as much as I did the tear in my Sunday pants"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
Haircuts and Manicure

"A fellow sitting in my chair the other day asked me if I thought it was right to charge a bald-headed man full price for haircut" said Sam Erckert. the well known barber
 "He was looking at one of our most prominent citizens who had only a fringe of hair around his head. I de- tended myself by saying that once when a onearmed man came in to have his mails manicured I asked the manicurist If she had the nerve to collect for both hands She switched her gum and Isweetly replied that she had, but if he had been soldier boy she wouldn't Ihave taken a cent"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
No Cheeks tn Sian


 Tn the seven months that have been president of the board of city commissioners yesterday was the first day that I did not have to sign check" remarked pr. N. A Barrett yesterday. Not check was presented to me and. of course, no bills were paid that day. We have been follow ing the policy of discounting aills whenever possible and in this way have saved the city a large sum of money. The lean months are coming, however when instead of discounting bills we will have to borrow, but the money saved by the discounts will so far towards equarzing the interest that we will have to pay on borrowed money"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
Pressing Demand
 for Military Roads

NOTWITHSTANDING the press 4 N ing demand for military high ways in the south, little construction is being undertaken.
 The government discourages capital investment and building projects not essential to war conditions; but as mo- tor trucks would relieve railway con- gestion and as few things are so inn portant just now as ample transpor- tation facilities, the railroad admins tration would welcome the building of highways in this part of the country. | The excessive cost of material and the scarcity of labor are the handi- caps. No matter how ready states and counties might be to issue road bonds and construct high-class paved roads, it would be next to impossible to make much headway at the pres ent time in actual building. Roads leading to cantonments are so badly needed that the government would be justified in drafting labor for the construction of short stretches of concrete or brick paving. The best roads in this country are now found in western states. The east has a large mileage of hard road bed, but the west is far ahead. There lis scarcely a state west of the Mis-. sissippi that has not expended mil lions of dollars on motor truck high ways within the last three years, Great building activity was begun be- fore the cost had scared and the farm CTS and the public in general now reap the benefit.
 1 As soon as road-making conditions become anything like normal, Ala bama must start new and inten- sive good roads movement. All the 1 important highways of the future must be strong enough to carry the | heaviest motor truck traffic and what ever is done this year, even though it be in a very limited way, must con- form to the new and approved stand ards.
 ] In the meanwhile, let all legiti- mate pressure be brought on the rail road administration to induce it to do it's "bit."
 l The Houston Post thinks Alabama $ slackers should be put to work or shot. First of. all, these gentry will have to be caught and they are for the most part hill billies' who have had years of experience in lodging ''revenuers."
 ;' x ;.
 ] Almost any student of history could tell the Kaiser that he's riding to fall, but the Kaiser is too busy making ] speeches and decorating his six sons to pay any attention to historical precedent.
 # F q
 There isn't much chance for an ordi- nary person to enjoy photoplay if the woman sitting immediately behind him with friend, has met the male star in person somewhere in California
 * x *
 1 cartoonist opines that New Jersey mosquitoes win soon put those U-boats to rout. Although superinsect, the bin of even New Jersey mosquito can not pierce the hull of a U-boat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
E E x Indiana Mourns for Distinguished Citizen

TH A R L B s WARREN FAlK- NJ BANKS, who died at his home in Indianapolis, enjoyed for while the semi-obscurity which falls to the lot of a vice president of the United States.
 While it is our custom to poke good natured fun at our vice presidents, a man who rises to that position must have made his mark in life. And after all, it is an honor to be elected vice president of so great country as the United States. MT. Fairbanks, who was a native of Ohio, won success as a lawyer and was elected to the United States Senate for his first term in 1897. He was reelected in 1903, but resigned. He was a member of the United States and British joint high commissions which met in Que bee in 1898 to adjust Canadian ques- tions, and was chairman of the United States commissioners.
 During most of his life MT. Fair banks was active in republican poli- tics, being a delegate at large to the republican national conventions of 1896, 1900 and 1904. He was honored not only by his own party, but by the people of America. MT. Fairbanks, al though at one time called "human icicle," largely for campaign purposes, was a man of engaging qualities. When he paid his last visit to Bir- mingham, some years ago, many who had thought him cold and distant were agreeably disillusioned.
 # # a
 Meeting in Every
 School District
 THE War Savings campaign is H gaining momentum throughout Alabama. All organization activities are directed to the great drive an- nounced for the twenty eighth of this this month.
 President Wilson has issued proc lamation setting apart that day for a concentrated effort to raise money for the government by the War Stamp or Baby Bond method, and now Gov ernor Henderson has followed the Presidents lead with state procla- nation.
 Sacrifice that will help win the war is urged as a dominant motive. The rich can give generously to the Red Cross and invest literally in Lib erty Bonds,s and scarcely miss the amount drawn out of the bank. But WILL PCloOllS III AlOQClQlC CllCQill- stances, it is different. They have contributed to the Red Cross mercy fund and have bought bonds, but in order for them to do their part, many of them have had to practice self denial They have given until it hurt" which, after all, is one of the best tests of war time patriotism.
 The Baby Bond drive is intended to reach especially the people who can help the government in a substantial way only by small savings, although the money of the wealthy will be ap- preciated by the campaign manage ment.
 As Alabama's quota of the two bil- lion dollars in the United States is s$4s. s.0nn 900. it will behoove everybody
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
MORE "pRoFITEERING,

New York Correspondence Cincinnati
 Time-Star
 During the last Liberty Loan drive, city contracted for the posting of l5 tons of large colored Autographs. Upon re- port that the paper had been posted, a very large bill for labor and truck hire
 was paid One day this week the l5 tons
 of paper was discovered in cellar in
 Forty-first street. Not one sheet of it had been posted. District Attorney Swann will endeavor to ascertain who
 the patriots were who managed this bit of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
DowNHEARTED. NO.
rom the Macon Telegraph.

From the MaCOH ItltBTdPH. She was well past 60. Her clothes were old and threadbare. and she man. Iaged to eke out an existence in Lon Idon selling potato chips and tea from a little stand on the sidewalk. One evening Zeppelin bombarded the city. and the little stand was demolished But the owner was undaunted. She worked most of the night and when morning came passersby read the fol- lowing painted in big red letters on the front of an improvised stand: gro hell with the Kaiser! Chips
 and tea
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
NO ALIMoNY FROM SOLDIERS

From the New York Evening Sun.
 The supreme court of New York state has no power to enforce an order for alimony against soldier in the United States army, declared Justice AspinalI in the supreme court in Brooklyn in the case of Mrs. Florence Merriman against
 Rapley F. Merriman, private. It is the first decision of it's kind here. Justice Asrinal gave the opinion in acting upon the request of Mrs. Merriman's attorney, who demanded Merriman be forced to pay $40 on the first business day of each month. "It is obvious that the defend-
 ant could not comply with direction that he pay $40 on the first business day of each month" said the justice, when
 $40 is more than the rate of pay of his grade, and the time of payment of a soldier is necessarily very irregular"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
oFr1cp BoY,s TEMPTATIONS

From the New York World.
 Bill, the office boy, employed near City Hall square, looks at the clock, pulls on his cap and saunters out to a lunch of frankfurters, dill pickles land ice cream cones. His delectable |repast finished, he stars to retrace his Isteps. But things begin to happen. He wriggles his way into crowd that gapes at a human fly" who is slowly climbing the facade of an of flee building Creepy waves of emo tion chase themselves up and down his juvenile spine. "Some guy. that birdr The "fly" hauls himself over the coping and the trolley cars re- sume.
 1 Further up the street a marine band clad in white is whanging out lover lThere," and Bill is swept away by the martial swing of the tune. With the l final crash of brass he slips away, con- fiding to the world at large that the Tanks are coming"
 l A sudden realization that he has
 over stayed his time is engulfed by the sound of the Police Glee club sing
 ing in chorus in City Hall park
 "Waddy know about that2 Cops sing
 in'l" And Bill tarries on, marvelling at the versatility of the laws guard
 ians. No sooner are they finished than
 a beautiful lady arises to tell the crowd
 why they should subscribe to the Red Cross fund. Bill wants to give another quarter. From the other end of the
 plaza 'bugler shrills and from another quarter fife and drum corps cuts in ! on the clamor. Was ever a boy more distracted? With supreme effort he 1 tears himself away. Surely this time
 he will make it. Alas! motorbusses
 bearing loads of conscripts who blow jhorns and yell is a spectacle too rav-
 ishing to be foregone, and Bill sue
 cumbs again. So, 40 minutes overdue,
 he finally hangs his cap on it's accus- | toned pegt
 To an office boy New York is an in- ]terminable line of pitfalls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A VACATION THOUGHT.

A VACATION THOUGHT. Though twenty floors Above the street, With droning fans
 To drive the heat Away and keep
 His office cool, His thoughts are on
 A sun-flecked pool; He hears the wind
 Sigh through the trees, The lit of wood-
 Land melodies, And oft his rowing
 Fancy seeks The spot where once He spent two weeks And caught some fish And loafed and dreamed, And life from many A care redeemed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

BEGINNING THE DAY--Ah, my Sod, where shall I turn for perfect pattern, if not to Galileef Where ihall l find sympathy of soul, beauty If life, if not in those syrian heids' } Christ, Thou art my hope! Amen. I. M. +.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
A REAL FRIEND.

You seem to think a great deal Of Twobble"
 q ought to-" What has he ever done for your Nothing He's the only one of my neighbors who has never offered me gratutous and more or less sarcastic ad- vice about my war garden
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
roo EARLY, PROBABLY.

TOO EARLY, PROBABLY. Can you quote The Rhyme of the An cent Mariner'?' "No," replied MT. Dubwaite. Tt has been long time since I read that poem, but I distinctly remember that while the mariner told corking good story of adventures at sea, he made no reference to U-boats"
 IN A HURRY. q understand the fair plaintiff in this breach-of- promise suit was greatly wrought up" "she must have been She took the wit ness stand without first stopping to powder her nose"
 USEFUL LABOR.
 Interned Teutons
 Should not shirk
 Make them do
 Some garden work
 MODERN LOVE. ''Wfll you love me always?" "What do you mean by 'always'? Ten or fifteen years?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Washington bureau. 2o7 Hibbs build ing.
 European bureau. Henrietta street Covent GArden, London.
 Eastern buslness office, orlo puAAu ing, New 4orK clty; western puslhsss apSS'S ok1ice, Tribune bulidlng, Cnleaso. $. .. Beekwltn speelal Agency, agents tor foreign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Press not a falling man too far; 'tis virtue: His faults lie open to the laws; let them, Not you. correct him.
 Henry VIII.
 # * *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Member of the Associated Press
 The Age-HeraId is the only morning and sunuay newspaper ID Birmins aii carrying the Associated frsss us patches.
 The Associated Press is exeluslVsAy entitled to the use for pupIlca .ion of all news dispatches credited to ~ or not otherwise credited in tnls paper and also the local news puollsneu herein.
 All rights of republication of spe- cial dispatches herein are also re- served
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Renaittances can be made at curreh. rate ot exchange. The Age -heraid VIII not be responsible for money sent tarough the mails. Address,
 ThE AGE-hERALD,
 Blrmlngham. Ala
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
NO APPARENT THIRST.

NO AII lAIsIsIN T II1IIso T.
 'Ts Congressman Gabson a strict tee totaler?"
 "He must be- Congressman Gabson stays in Washington week after week, without making business trip to Bal timore"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

HANDICAPPED. She hears the movies calling her To riches and to fame; On every billboard in the land Expects to see her name. We'd hate to disillusion her A most pathetic case But never was a movie star With waits upon her face.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

No communication will be pupilsheu without its autnors name. heJeeeeu manuscript wII not be returned unless stAn,ps are enclosed TOT that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala' postoffice af second-elass matter, Nn- der act of Congress, March s, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Daily and sunday Age-Aerald. year $500 Daily without SunaAy .........-. S'oV Daily ana Sunday. per month .... " Daily and Sunday, three months @.Vv Sunuay Age-heratd, per annum z'VV Thursdays euitton, per annum 70
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06
SIGN OF THE TIMES.

"Glippering. you probably know, is : confirmed misogynist."
 That's so. l don't suppose there is a man in this town who hates women more than Glippering.''
 But he got g jolt the other day
 How was thatg"
 Something went wrong with the en- zine of his motor car. After tinkerins with it for an hour. Gnppering called garage for first aid. A woman mechanic came around on motorcycle and fixed it in iiffy"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-06-06

Here is congratulating Manager Harri- son, for I believe he has discovered a star that is going to blaze across the
 Chautauqua Armament in such a way as to light up his whole circuit, and
 that before the season is over Mrs. Math- is will be hailed throughout the coun- try las one of the best drawing cards in the Redpath bill of attractions. Here is to Mrs. Mathis; may she come into her own richly. for she deserves much at the hands of the public, for she has haan a great servant of the people.