South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-01-20
MAN IN THE STREET

Now that the mere men folks will
/ be idle for the next 10 Mondays, it
Will afford them an excellent Oppor-
tunity Of staying at home and help
ing with the wash.
Hereafter, Imprisonment will go
with dishonorable discharges pur-
posely obtained by slackers TO evade
military service. Sure. A mere
stigma won't do. A few years hence
cowardly politicians in congress will
have the records of these scoundrels
corrected" and they will be draw
ing pensions for their pusillanimity
if we are not careful.
Enemy plotters may have or may
not have been responsible for the
Norfolk holocaust Probably en-
emies did it. But we are absolutely
certain that il would require a nu-
merous and resourceful enemy ever
TO perpetrate the mischief that can
be easily negotiated by the great
American honehead.
There are a lot of long haired
young men seeking easy jobs in
Washington, some Of them from
Mishawaka, who would be better
getting expert information upon
shooting machine guns or handling
the steering gear of a pillow with
blind gray mule in front of it.
SO far, Uncle Sam has lent the al
lies $4,236, 400, 900. That is S4236
per capita, and we want the allies to
know that they are welcome to ours
and we hope TO per capitate some
more for them pretty soon.
What has become Of the old-fash-
Toned fellow whose eyesight became
so poor by the time he was S4 years
old that he couldn't read fine print
until he had bought a pair of spec
tacles from peddlar for two bits?
There are no postoffices vacant in
our neighborhood at the present
time. otherwise we would like to see
Ernie Reebe at the head of one of
them. However, as county commits
sioner. Ernie will shine He
knows every road in the county, and
their needs. so when the proper
time comes around we look to see
this pillar of democracy's picture in
the papers.
Call me Birdie" boys
The Interpretive" dances gem
orally try to interpret something
that is so plainly naughty that it
doesn't need any Interpretation.
The pros in New York city are
raising sand because the public
schools are closed on account of the
coal shortage, whereas all the sa-
looms are running. For a legitimate,
taxpaying business, the American
saloon leads a strenuous life in
these busy times. Everybody that
wants TO practice his throwing arm
seems to grab a brick and look
around for ]. Barleycorn's sign.
ct is better for one to have just
little knowledge Of music than
none at ALL" says the Musical Cour-
Ter. 1t is, but it is rather hard on
the other people in the fiat.
1t does no good for us to remind
the people of Mishawaka that last
July and August we entreated them
to lay in their winter coal, but the
innate brutality of human nature
enS bles the kindHest of us TO gloat
over human suffering when it hap
pens as a result of spurning our ad-
vice
Now somebody is calling the kali
ser a Turk. We have said many
mean things about the Turk i'm our
time, but never anything quite so
cruel as that.
If you really must save sugar. put
one lump less in your coffee and
leave it out of the teddy altogether.
p. S.-Leave the whisky out of the
lOuu1s NOOs anu ~ DIS lar dS YOU
like with the remaining ingredient.
Then watch your thrift stamp card
grow.
We still have the historic three
tailors of Tooley St" with US. They
imagine that the destinies Of Mish-
awake hang on their deliberations.
Every time an effort is made TO
boost the town with the aid of some
lively organization. they meet in
convention and decide TO knock it TO
the extent of their limited ability.
And there are just three of them.
You eat in winter eggs that We're
laid in the preceding spring, genera
ton or epoch. Why not consume in
winter the coal laid in during the
spring and summer? IL will save
many a SILVER and it comes cheaper.
The best thing we can do in Mish-
awake these days is 10 keep our
mouths closed and stand by the gov
eminent. Worse things than the