davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

4 gloomy theatrical man,
His starboard heel was quite worn off,
And weary and sal was he,
And ! saw this jake give himself a
shake,
As he growled in a gutterai key:
'Oh, am star and a manager bold,
A heavy and juvenile man,
A comedy pet and a pert soubrette
And boss OF the box sheet plan"
And he wiped his eyes with three
sheet bill
ct was lettered in blue and red):
And he cursed the fares and the open
dates,
So I spoke to him anc said:
Its little I know of mimic show,
So you'll please explain to lie,
For I'll eat my vest il l can digest
How possibly you can be
At once star and manager bold,
A heavy and juvenile man,
a comedy pet and pert soubrette
And the boss of the box-sheet plan"
He ran his hand through his dusty
hair
And pulled down a brunette cuff,
And there on the rocks, by the prop
erty box
He told this story tough:
ut was in the year Of 81
When a party of six and NE,
Went out on the road with piece
that's knowed
AS a musical comedy.
! write the play-it knocked 'em cold
1t made them Shrek ana roar,
But we struck 4 reef and came to grief
On the west of the Michigan shore.
Each night it showed, or rained OF
bowed,
And if the weather was clear
They said, dts sad your house is bad
But wait till you come next year"
We skirmished around for month OF
two,
Trying to change our luck,
With nothing to tasta but biil-hc@
paste
And a yellow canvas duck.
Then we struck the town of Kankakee
All travel-stained ard sore,
When our star got mad and shook us
bad
For a job in a drygoods store.
And then our leading heavy man
Informed us with frown,
He was going away that very day
With Il circus then il town.
Then the pert soubrctte and juvenile
man
Engaged as cook and waiter,
Ard are doing well IN small hotel
Near the Kankakee theater.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
VIRGINIA NEWS

The discovery by State prohibition
agents of numerous empty shoe-pol-
ish bottles at recently captured illicit
stills near Danville, is puzzling the
officers, who cannot understand for
what purpose this fluid is used. w.
r. Shelton, agent for the prohibition
commissioner, states that the bottles
have been found at several stills, in
dicating that it is being used in the
concoction which is sold for higher
prices than the best brands of legiti-
mate whisky.
Asserting that German commands
placed as many as eighteen or twenty
men in charge Of machine guns to
fight Americans and then disappear
ed, leaving the small groups of fight
ers to their fate after assuring them
that they would reinforce them a.
the proper time, but never returning,
S. L. Thomas, who has been directing
Red Cross work in the war zone un-
der the auspices of the Y. NJ. c. A,
returned to Richmond yesterday.
Thomas said the Germans often mis-
led their own men and sacrificed
hundreds of their soldiers to whose
aid they promised to 60 when
the Americans came forward. In
stead of retiring to the rear to await
the firing of the machine guns, COM
manders would take to fight, leaving
those in charge of the guns to be
annihilated or captured.
Peter Bonini and Angelo Carnocc-
hia, well known Italians, were ar
rested in Richmond yesterday by
United States Marshal Saunders on
the charge Of attempting to bride
Henry W. Eilerson, chairman of To-
cal board No. ,. Each was bailed in
the sum of $1,000, pending appear
ance before Federal Commissioner
Flegenheimer. August %.
On Friday 1000 alien soldiers at
Camp Lee will be made American
citizens by taking the oath of allegi-
ance. The naturalization ceremonies
will take place in Central Park in
Petersburg. Secretary Of Labor W.
B. Wilson will be the principal
speaker. The new Red Cross houses
for convalescents and the Red Cross
houses at Camp Lee were formally
opened yesterday evening. The build
ing for convalescents was presented
by Col. William Cary Sanger, acting
manager of the division of the Red
Cross in which Camp Lee is located,
and was accepted by Brig. Gen.
Charles 4. Hedakin. commander OF
the camp. A short address on Red
Cross work was made by Dr.. Robert
c. Bryan, of the Red Cross mission
to Roumania. The house for conval-
escents cost $4,000 exclusive OF
furnishings and the houses for nurses
cost 10000 not including furnish
ings.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

zen only the comedian and me were
left
For to leave he hadn't the heart,
Each laugh was drop OF blood to
him,
And he loved that coriedy pa
That night we played 70 a rlghl goou
Eight dollars and half)-
When to my ill-iuck In my part
stuck
and I queered the comedians laugh.
He fell down dead with broken heart
And the coroner, old ana sage,
Said his brain had cracked from a
bad attack
OF the center Of the stage.
And l played that piece all by myself
For a week in Kaalakee,
And with this box, over rail and rocks,
I've travelled to where be.
And l never say an actor's good,
And l always damn play,
| sit and croak and Il single joke
] have, which is to say:
am a star and manager bold,
A heavy and a juvenile man,
A comedy pet and pert soubrette
And boss Of the box-sheet PLAN"
(Tha Gazette was requested to :.,k
ii any o. its readers could supply
".'ie anne CT the author" of the above
parod.: hui by typographical error
on Tuesday we asked for the "namc
of the parody. We reprint the lines
r. the hope that some one can furnish
the information.)
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
\ CLEVER PARODY

A subscriber has asked The Gazette
to publish the name of this clever
parody of The Crew of the Nancy
Brig" We hope that some one will
be able to give the desired inforn1a-
ticn:
Twas in town they call Detroit,
In the state of Michigan,
| saw on the rocks, with a property
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
WARNING TO GIRLS.

Steps 70 safeguard young girls in
TIE vicinity OF army camps were de-
te3,.2?:aed upon by the Commission on
.-::..air;i,s Camp Activities yesterday.
Tie commission has been confront
ca Wis lie urgent, necessity for ef-
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
FOR SALE AND RENT.

FOR RENT-Twclve-room house, fur
nished for a rooming house OF
boarding; immediate possession.
Address ?. 0. Box No. 1S4, Alex
andria, Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
MISCELLANEOUS.

WALL PAPER-Five and Ten cents
per double roll 115 South Fairfax
street. 1925
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

WANTED-Waitresses and dishwash-
els; good pay anl board. Apply
Alexandria Quick Lunch, SIS King
street. 1S9-5t
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

FOR SALE-A lo5 of iron beds,
springs and mattresses, never been
used. Address Furnishings" Ga
zette Office, for appointment.
191-5t
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

Observation-Disclosures, white; $12 a
week to those experienced. Apply
Monticello Cafe. 1S5-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

WANTED-Check Clerk at Potomac
Transfer, Potomac yards, Alexan-
dria county, Va; good salaries. APP
ply to agent. 1S1-12t
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15

WANTED-Reiined young couple de-
sire good room and board with good
family; Alexandria or vicinity.
State terms. Box 300, Gazette
Office. 1885,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-08-15
NOTICE

We are pleased to announce that we are now
located at 10 South Pitt Street, where we will give
ali orders prompt attention.
JOS. NJ ARMSTRONG,
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
u. S. FLEET Is
WELCOMED HOME
WarShIpS From the War Zone
Return to u. 5.
10000 VETERANS IN PARADE
Secretary Daniels Afloat and Thrsnos
Ashore Reviews Ships in Snow
Storm-Din of Whistles Welcomed
Fighters.

New York, Dec. 2T.-Guns that
awaited in vain the challenge of Ger
man sea power Numbered in salute to
the Secretary of the Navy Daniels
and to the sovereign citizenship he
represents.
The flower of the American battle
fleet, home from the war, passed the
Statue of Liberty in review staged
in setting of winddriven snow and
low-leaden clouds, typical of the nor
thern European waters from which
the great warships were returning.
Ten superintendent battleshies
were fighting units of the nations war
time armada which passed by Secre-
tary Daniels on the presidential yacht
MayfiOwer, at anchor close to the is-
land upon which the statue was
scarcely discernible in the swirling
snow storm.
The fleet entered the harbor as a
battle squadron, decks cleared for ac-
ton and devoid Of decorations, save
for the national and admiral's flags
and the hundred yard long streamers
of red, white and blue "home bound"
pennants denoting foreign service,
which trailed gracefully from the
mainmasts.
As the leading vessel came abreast
the Mayflower, her band struck up
the National Anthem and fve-inch
rifle barked in salute Before the
nineteen guns accorded the secretary
Of the navy had been fired, the second
dreadnought was opposite the presi-
Dental yacht, Joining in the salute,
and until the last ship had passed on
up the bay the cannonade was con-
finuous
Sailors and marines, approximately
1000 to a vessel, manned the rails,
Inlainly visible through the snow and
mist TO observers on the Mayfiower
and accompanying yachts.
A din of whistles shrieked well
come On the shores a vast throng
watched in silence, as If awed. AS
the ships dropped anchor later in the
lower Hudson, sunshine touched the
decks and the snow ceased.
Secretary of War Baker and host
of other officials, national, state and
municipal, participated in the .cele-
bration which marked the end Of the
long and stormy voyage from foreign
waters.
Ten thousand sailors were hurried
ashore in launches after the dread
noughts had reached their anchorage,
and assembled for parade which
took them through Fifty avenue. It
was one Of the most brilliant parades
in the history of this thoroughfare Of
memorable ceremonies of this charac-
ter. They were led by Secretary DAN
iels and the fleet commander, Admiral
Mayo, riding in an automobile, and
Admiral ROdman on foot.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
TO SAFEGUARD WHEAT PRICES


SOnSTGSS ASkcU 10 EAt6HO ifHC TUT
U. S. Purchase Of 1919 Crop.
Washington, Dec 27-Legislatlon to
make effective the wheat price guaran.
fee for the 1919 crop, and at the same
time to safeguard the government
against losses, was recommended to
congress by the department Of agri-
culture and the food administration.
A memorandum sent TO Representa-
tive Lever Democrat, South Cnrolina,
chairman Of the house agriculture
committee, made the following recon-
mendations:
First, extension by congress beyond
June 1, 1920, of the date for the gov
ernment purchase of the 1919 crop.
Second, continuance of the food ad-
ministration's grain corporation, or
creation of new agency to buy. store
and sell 1919 wheat that may be of
fered to the government, and,
Third, possible legislative provisions
% protect the government against
wheat or flour brought in from other
countries during the period of effect
NcucSS VI lllS pIlIS,
also to protect buyers of such wheat
as long as the wheat is in this country
and not consumed.
The memorandum was compiled
with the approval Of President VIII
son, Secretary Of Agriculture Houston,
in submitting 1t, said:
1.-THE government has made a guar
antee and it goes without saying that
!t must be made effective.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
Somewhere in France.

November 21, 1913.
Hello, 'Sonnie:"
Just few lines to let you know
that the Germans have not got me
yet, though l have been over the
top, as they call it, seven times, not
saying anything about number of
patrols that l have been on in No
Mans Land-that is, land between
the two lines, or trenches. The last
front we were on, where we went ov-
er the top seven times, We did not
give them time to dig trenches, so
you know we kept them busy moving.
l have experienced things that seem
impossible even now since / have
been through it. If you ever talk
with anyone who has been over the
top six or seven times, you can feel
sure he has experienced AMIDST any
thing that he can tell. 1t don't make
any difference how much you would
want to fight while you are at home,
you could not get real fighting in
your mind until you got over here,
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
Soldiers Letter
France November "a. 1918.

France. November "a, 1918,
My dear Mother and Father:
| thought l would write you few
| lines to let you know how l am. |
am getting along fine, and hope when
this reaches you it will find you all
we'll Mother, haven't heard from
you but once since l have been over
here. and would be so glad to hear
from you all. Mother, don't you and
father worry about me, because l
don't think it will be long before l
will be home, and l can't tell you how
glad 1 will be to get home; TO see you
and father. l guess they are oyster
ing now and making plenty of mo-
ney.
Well, Mother, the war is over, and
all the boys are glad. | have seen
some bad times since l have been ov-
er here. l can't tell you anything
about the other boys, because l do
not know where they are. Give my
love to all of my sisters and brothers
and tell them | will be so glad to
get home with them once more.
don't think it will be long before
will be home.
Mother, don't you stop writing to
me- and l will write to you as often
as l can l have been in the hospital
about two months, and l will be so
glad when they send me home. Write
and tell me all the news. 1 will be
so glad to hear from home. Tell
papa l will be so glad to see him.
Give my love to Oliver, and tell him
l will have lots TO tell him. Give my
love to Oscar.
Mother, | was wounded on the 26th.
OF September, in the big drive, and
will never forget it. This is all l
have to say this time. Hope TO hear
from you soon. From your loving
son,
Private THOS. C. RIPPONS,
Base Hospital so, 4. E. F.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27

All Cases Must Can for Personal
Physical examination on Day and
Date below mentioned, and under no
circumstances are incurables (PeO-
pie who cannot be helped or benefit
ed) accepted or placed under treat
ment.
When you consult DR.. Greenwood
you can rest assured you are getting
the advice of a specialist Of know
ledge and long and vast experience
and remarkable success with the
most difficult cases.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27

and saw some of the things that l
have seen. l cannot tell you now,
but will when | come home.
Will close now. Answer and tell
me how oysters are; they are strang-
ers over here. From
CECIL ERGAR,
Co. c. 115th U. s. Inft., A. p O. 765,
A. f. F.. via New York.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
qo,600 More to Come Home

Washington, Dec. 27.-Lists of units
Of the expeditionary forces, assigned
for early convoy home, were cabled
by General Pershing. They compris-
ed 600 officers and nearly 10000 men.
They include the forty-fourth, six
tieth and sixty-fourth coast artillery
regiments, and the forty-ninth and
2s1st infantry.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
Invites you to call. Consult him free
of charge. Know where you stand.
You owe it to yourself
To Have Perfect Health.
ONLY

The latest and most approved meth
DDS used; results that are remark
able in the most severe cases of
Liver, Stomach, Skin, Blood, and
Nervous Diseases of Men, Women
and Children. Goitre, Piles, Rheu-
matism, Throat, Liver, Heart, StOm-
ach, Lungs, Kidney or Bladder trou-
BILE treated by up-to-date and WON
derful methods.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
ITALY's LOSSES 100000
OF These 100000 Were Killed or Died
of Wounds in War

of Wounds in War.
New York, Dec. 27.-Italy'S losses
in killed, wounded, dead of disease,
disabled, missing and prisoners aggre-
gate 100000, according to Colonel
Ugo Pizzarello, of the italian army,
who arrived recently on a mission for
his government
He gave out figures amplifying an
announcement made in Paris Satur-
day by Salvatire BarZilat, former
member of the italian cabinet, that
Italy had lost 100000 in killed or
dead Of wounds in the war
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
CARRY BOOTY IN PLANES
Profiteers Got Their Money Out Of
Germany by EiYinu to Switzerland

Germany by Flying to Switzerland.
Munich, Dec 27.-The Munich Post
prints a startling charge that German
war profiteers, unable otherwise to
get their booty out Of the country,
have resorted to the use of airplanes.
According to the newspaper, several
airplanes have taken securities Of
enormous value from Frankford to
Switzerland.
The Post urges the government to
seize capital where it is available, and
especially in banks.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
Chas. w. Purnell. Optician
NEW YORK THE BEST MARKET
IN THE WORLD.

Ship your poultry and produce to
Peter McClees. 800 Washington ST.,
N. Y. Prospective prices for poultry
ther information call Joseph M. Col
fifty cents per n. or better. For fur
Inns, phone 341.-Adv. 11-22-tf. B-R
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
HAD RHEUMATISM 12 YEARS

For II years l had been sick with
Rheumatism. ] took up treatment
with DR.. Greenwood, and am now
feeling good and able to work.
JOHN T. SALISBURY,
r. F. D. 8. Easton, Md.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
NOTICE.

Pay your Town Taxes before De-
cember 31st. Interest at per cent.
starts promptly January 1st, dating
back to July 1st Don't wait for the
last day. Pay your taxes now and
save the additional cost.-C. L. Dali,
Clerk and Treas.-Adv.12-1 1890,
21,23,24,26,27,2s.30.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
Mother Dies as Soldier Returns.

Norristown, Pa, Dec. 27.-Mrs. Will
liam Hallman died from apoplexy,
on-y short time before her son, dis
charged from the army, reached home.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
TAKE NOTICE.

If you have furniture or organs or
stoves of any kind, or go-carts, call
on Omar B. Brown, the Furniture
Dealer, 135 Race St., phone 159. We
don't care if your iron top and bot
tom heaters are burned through, we
will buy them.-Adv. 12-9-17t.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27

Violin The professor has no
heart, he has taken my beau. Banjo
Yes, and he's always picking on
me, too.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
WANTED
LOST

REPRESENTATIVES, between Stump"
Manor and Cambridge. rim and tire off
Maxwell machine. Reward if returned
to J. w. Phelps. Cambridge. 26-2t.
LOST - Somewhere. in Cambridge,
Tuesday afternoon, cameo brooch. Lib
eral reward if returned to Banner Of
fee. 263t.
LOST-Xmas morning. probably on
Locust street, tan kid glove, right
hand. Reward if returned to Edgar 3.
Simmons. 26-3t.
LOST Somewhere in Cambridge,
large cameo brooch. Reward if re-
turned to Dixie Realty Co. office, Ill
High street. 24-3t.
LOST-Friday night. at P. B. & w.
r. r. station at Hurlock, hand bag,
containing clothing. etc, with addressed
card attached. Miss Ruth Hooper. West
ern Maryland College. Westminster. Md.
Liberal reward if returned quickly to
VIM. H. Hooper. 20S Oakley street, Cam,
bridge. Md. or phone 46, and will call
for it. 12-21-tf. r. 1t.
The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1918-12-27
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Wood by cord Also
pr mules J. H Waller 11-9-tf
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1918-07-09

The A ,socate fer Printing.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1918-07-09
HAGAR NURSING CROUCH

We told you it would be interest
ing to have Congressman William
Jason Fields opinion of Edgar
Hagar after reading Edgar's regret
that his district chad not a more
capable and able representation in
Congress-" William Jason says
Edgars attack "is only exeretion
from a sore on your political skin
that you have carried since the day
! defeated you for the nomination
for Congress in 1910" From which
il is fair to deduee that Edgar has
gone and busted his boil.-Cyn-
thiana Democrat.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1918-07-09
FORMER LOCAL BOYS MARRIES

The following announcement APP
peared in a Montana paper: "Mr.
j. X. Shannon, district manager of
the Reynolds Tobacco Company,
and Miss Anna 0'Donnell were
quietly married Tuesday morning,
June IL, at st. Patrick's church,
the Rev. Father Whalen reading the
marriage lines. They are now
touring the State and will return to
Butte, where they will be at home
TO their friends after July the first"
Mr.. Shannon is a son of the late
Pat Shannon and wife of this city,
and is one of the most excellent
young men ever reared h ere.
Many friends here at his old home
join us in congratulations. His
bride is said to be an excellent
young woman. Mr.. Shannon is a
nephew of Mrs. John J. Walsh, of
this city.
W. S. S..
The A S,socate for Printing.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1918-07-09

Liberty bonds Of the first and
second issues and those obtained
by converting bonds of the first is
sue into 4 per cent bonds can be
converted nito Az per cent Liberty
bonds during the six months period
beginning May 0 and ending Nov
ember 0, 1918. The new bonds will
be dated May 0, 1918.
After November Q, 1918, no fur
Their rights of conversion will at
tach to the per cent bonds, either
the original bonds Of the second
loan or those obtained by CONVEX
sion of bonds of the first loan. All
of the Az per cent bonds are non
convertible.
Bonds for conversion may be
surrendered at any Federal reserve
bank or at the Treasury Depart
ment. Registered bonds must be as
signed to the Secretary of the
Treasury for conversion, but such
assignment need not be witnessed.
On conversion of registered bonds
registered bonds only will be deliv-
cred, neither change of ownership
nor change into coupon bonds be-
ing permitted.
Coupon bonds, however, may be
converted into registered bonds up
on request. Coupon bonds must
have the May 10 or June Is, 1918,
coupons detached and all subse-
luent coupons attached. Coupon
bonds issued from conversion will
have only four interest coupons at
tached, and later must be exchang-
ed for new bonds with the full num-
Der of coupons attached.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1918-07-09
500 Reward, 500

The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all its stages and
that is catarrh. Catarrh being greatly
Influenced by constitutional conditions
requires constitutional treatment Halls
Catarrh Medicine is taken internally and
acts thru the Blood on the Mucous Sur
faces of the System thereby destroying
the foundation of the disease, giving the
patient strength by building up the con-
stitution and assisting nature in doing its
work. The proprietors have so much
faith in the curative power OF Halls
Catarrh Medicine that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that II fails
to cure. Send for list of testimonials.
Address F. ]. CHENEY & Co, Toledo,
Ohio. Sold by all Druggists, 75c.