Oxford eagle., 1918-06-13
CHAPTER XVIII.
Staged Under Fire.

n
when we received the welcome news
that our division would go back Of the
line ito rest bsllets." We would re-
! main IN these blIlefs for at least two
months. this in order 10 be restored 10
our full strength By drafts Of recruits
from Blighty.
Everyone was happy and contented
ct these tidings; all you could hear
around the bIIlets was whisfiing and
singing. The day after the receipt Of
the order we hiked for five days, max
Ing an s~~-nge Of about twelve kilos
per day until we arrived at the small
town Of O..
IL took rs about three days 10 get
settled. and from then on our cushy
time started. We would parade from
s:45 In the morning until L noon.
Then except for an occasional billet
or brigade guard We were on our own.
For the first four or Eve afternoons /
spent my time in bringing up 10 date
my neglected correspondence.
Tommy loves 10 be amused, and be
ing a Yank. they turned TO me for
something new In this line. ! taught
them how 70 pitch horseshoes, and this
game made q great hit for about ten
days. Then Tommy turned TO Amer
lea for a new diversion. ! was up In
the air until happy thought came TO
me Why not write sketch and break
Tommy In as an actorf
One evening after lights out" when
you are not supposed To talk, impart-
ed my scheme in whispers TO the sec
fion- They eagerly accepted the idea
VI forming Il stock company and
could hardly wait until the morning
for further details.
After parade. the next afternoon /
was almost mObbed. Everyone In the
section wanted q part in the proposed
sketch When / Informed them that IL
would take al least ten DAYS Of hard
work 10 write the plot. they were bit
ferly disappointed | Immediately goi
busy. made n desk out OF biscuit tins
in the corner Of the billet. and put up
q sign ~Empey q Wallace Theatrical
Co" About twenty of the section.
upon reading this sign. Immediately
applied for the position Of Office boy.
i accepted the twenty applicants. and
sent them on scouting parties through
out the deserted French village. These
Parties were 10 search all the attics for
discarded civilian clothes. and any-
thing that We could use In the props
Of our proposed company.
About five that night they returned
covered with CRIME and dust. but load
ed down with a miscellaneous assert
Ienf Of everything under the sun
They must have thought that ! was
going 10 start q department store.
judging from the different things they
brought hack from their plllage.
After eight days constant writing ]
completed d two-act farce comedy
which i called The Diamond Palace
Saloon" Upon the suggestion of one
Of the boys IN the section sent a proof
OF the program 20 a printing house in
London Then ! assigned the different
parts and started reheArsing. David
Beiasco would have thrown up his
hands In despair al the material which
i had 10 use. Just imagine TRYING "a
teach Tommy. with q strong cockney
accent. 10 impersonate d Bowery tough
or Southern negro.
Adjacent 20 our billet was an open
Held We got busy al one end Of II and
constructed q stage. We secured the
lumber for the stage by demolishing
an old wooden shack In the rear OF
our billet
The first scene was supposed 10 rep
resent q street on the Bowery in New
York. while the scene Of the second
act WIS the interior Of the Diamond
Palace saloon. also on the Bowery.
In the play took the part Of Abe
Switch. q farmer. who had come from
Pumpkinville Center, Tenn. 10 make
his nrst visit 10 New York.
In the first scene Abe Switch meets
the proprietor OF the Diamond Palace
saloon. a ramshackle affair which &c
the owner was a financial loss.
The propriesors name was Ton
Twfstem. his bartender being named
Ffllem Up.
After meeting Abe. Tom and FlIleu
Up persuaded him 70 buy the place
praising IL 10 the skies and tellins
vnn1rn0a tales Of ths monay tnksr
over the bar.
While they are talking. an old Jew
named key Cohensteln comes along
and Abe engages him for cashier. Aftel
engaging key they meet an ole
Southern negro called Sambo, and
upon the suggestion Of key he is en-
gagged as porter. Then the three ol
them. arm in arm. leave 10 take pos
session Of this wonderful palace whlci
Abe has just paid $4,000 for. (Cur
tain-)
In the second act the curtain rise
On the interior OF the Diamond Palace
saloon. and the audience gets it's frs
shock. The saloon looks like a pig
pen. two tramps lying drunk on IN,
door, and the bartender In a dirt,
shirt with his sleeves rolled up, aslee,
with his head on the bar.
Enter Abe. Sambo and key, and tn
fun commences
/ One of sha charaefa~s sr e. s.oo,.