davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Harry Lauder, the famous Scotch
comedian, is known to be a man Of
rather economical habits. He owns
an estate in Scotland, and one day
invited two Scotch friends Of his to
go fishing, and it was agreed that
the first to catch fish should stand
treats at the inn.
AS Lauder was known to be an ex-
pert fisherman his friends took con-
siderable delight in assuring him that
he had as good as lost already. And
do you know" said Lauder, telling
about it afterward, both of the fell
lows I went fishing with had a good
bite, but they were so mean that
they wouldn't, pull in
Then you lost?"
"Oh, no. said Lauder, "I didn't
put any bait on my hook"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
Neus From the World Of Sport
Four Games In
League Today

Arthur will play Ga1esburg, Erie
meet Gardner, Argusville play Gran
din and Mapleton battle Hunter in
games in the Liberty Red Cross
league today.
The present standing OF the clubg
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

The G. o. of certain battalion
applied for a groom, and Paddy, not
knowing anything about horses or
harness, put in for the Job. do YOU
understand all about horses and how
to keep harness tclean?" inquired the
c. o.
Eyes, sir" was Paddy's reply;
what don't know about horses is
not worth knowing"
Accordingly at 2 D. m. that day
Paddy was ordered to saddle the q.
O.'s horse which he did, putting the
saddle on the wrong way round. The
colonel appeared, glared at Paddy and
snapped:
Don't you see. you fool, that the
saddle is the wrong way round? 2"
Yes, sir replied Paddy. "but whv
did you not tell me which way Won
were gotn'?"
How long has that clerk worked
for your" asked the caller.
About four hours.' replied the
boss.
II thought he had been here
longer than that" said the caller
He has" said the boss. He has
been here for four months
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

AS the motor car dashed through
ta little village the driver pulled up
with a frantic jerk "A man stand
Ing right In front OF his machine was
waving his arms violently and shout
IN: "Stopl HI! Stop!"
What's the trouble?' snapped
the motorist. Is tt a police trap :?
Because, IL it is, wasn't driving
more fhan twenty miles an hour"
That's ell right air," said the
country man blandiy II amt no
policeman. Only mya wife has been
invited TO a wedding tomorrow, and
Z wanted to ask If you could spare
her q few drops o. gasoline to clean
hqg cloves with
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Richard was playing with a toy
machine. His mother heard an UNI
usual .commotion and hurried to the
room. On entering she found poor
Pete, his doll, with a broken head.
In reply to her questions as to what
had happened to Pete, Richard only
shook. his head and mumbled each
time: "Richie, ruffneck.''
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
DakOtQm Held
For abduction
(By Associated presg !

Helena. Mont. June 28.-A Glen
dive, Mont, dispatch to a newspaper
here, says man giving his name as,
Alexander Palmer is held there on
request Of the Dickinson, N. D.,
authorities for abducting a seven
year, old girl. whose parents live
near Hebron. N. D.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Of for he had only
lis
the
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
W. S. s.
The SrIO.

The silo is the best means yet de-
vised for storing forage for live
stock. The silo keeps the corn in a.
succulent condition. 1t seems to re-
tain all the valuable properties that
the corn had as green corn, L.e., feed
ing out Of the stlo Is like feeding the
corn right from the field. The silo
will hold more food for its size than
other buildings and the silage is in
an ideal condition for handling In
feeding the stock.-Extension Divis
ion, North Dakota Agricultural Col
lege.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
Dinner Stories

The subject OF rifle shooting often
crops up at one Of the training
camps.
"Pll bet anyone here a box of
CIGARS" said Lieut.. A, that I can
fire 10 shots at 200 yards and tell
without waiting for the marker the
result of each one correctly.
"Done!" cried Maj. 3. And the
whole mess turned out early the next
morning to witness the experiment.
The lieutenant fired. @
"Miss!' he repeated.
Another shot.
'Mass!,' he repeated.
a third shot. s.
'Miss!" -
Here, hold ont" put in Major B.
What are you trying to do? You're
not firing for the target.
"Of course not!" was the cool re-
Spouse. tim firing for those CT
garsl"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

TT it hadn't been for his wife
Barton would have squandered his
entire fortune"
What did she do?"
"She did 1t first
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Senator Weeks, apropos Of the
Luxburg, Bernstorff, Won Igel and
other German exposures, said in
Washington the other day:
Germany seems to approve the
JmeTampied wiCkedness Of her sons
She reminds me Of the old man at
the club.
IAN old man sat reading a news
paper in a club while a group of
young fellows talked excitedly about
the marvellous power for lying pos
seBsed by q certain Jack Courtnay.
Wf1sn their talked ceased the old man
cleared his throat and said:
Gentlemen, have just heard
you decide that Jack Courtney is
the biggest liar In the United States.
I am his father
"A young man, very red in the
face, started to apologize, but the
old boy said:
No no; don't apologize. 1t isn't
necessary. merely wanted to say,
gentlemen, that If you consider my
son Jack the biggest liar in the
United States, It's very evident that
you have never met my other son,
jim
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
AMERICAN LEAGUE

Ros+or .. 21o o1o o1o-5 II s
A. New YORK 49,. 400 OH 20x-7 8
Bush, Bader ana Agnew; Mogridgea
Caldwell and Hannah.
p,, 5lps ssI1Sia. 600 900 900 /
A. WasfIington. 200 900 242-S z
Adams and McAvoy; Johnson and
Ainsmith.
p63Ts e 9einhia. 010 001 900 o. 5
At washington. 0O1 001 900 1-~3 9
Perry and Perkins; Shaw, Ayers and
Picnich, Ainsmith.
R.H.E.
rhicapo ... 600 600 600
AZ IesfToit ..... 900 100 O0x--1 |
Danforth and schalk; Boland and
Yelle.
Three scheduled.
Buy w. S. s.-\
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Frank s. Leavitt is champion
heavyweight wrestler Of the army.
Frank figured that his Wonderful
strength would be Of some help ia
handling one Of the seventy ton
t@sks ait the front SO he Joined the
tank corps, where he is. now a SER
geant.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
Dinner stories

Dinner sLOrIes
Waiter" said the indignant GUS
toner, what does this mean? Yes
terday I was served for the same
price with piece Of chicken twice
the size of this"
Yes. sir" answered the waiter
Where did you sit?"
"Over by the window
Then that accounts for it. We
always give people who sit by the
window large portions. It's an ad-
Yertisement!"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
Dinner Stories

Two impecuntous Scoremen travel
ing in search Of gold, came upon a
drinking saloon. They had only six
pence between them, so they ordered
one nip o. whusky.'
They were hesitating who should
have the first drink, when an "auld"
acquaintance joined them. Pretend
ing they had just drunk, one Of them
handed the newcomer the whisky,
requesting him to join them in a
drink.
He drank, and, after a few min
utes of painful and silent suspense,
said:
Now, boys, you'll have one with
me2"
''Wusna that weel managed,
mon?" said one to his pal after
ward.
AYE, it was" said the other, SOL
emily, "but Is was a dreadful risk"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

A young lady was teasing a
middle-aged captain returned from
the front upon his unnlilitary ap-
pearance.
And why are you baId?" she
roguishly inquired.
Madam" returned the warrior,
bowling, Its through junior officers
stepping over my head"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Buy W. s. S.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
pEHoRNINe CALVES.

.Buv w & g.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

BUY w. s. s..
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Buy W. S. S.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28

Cincinnati lost its thirteenth game
of II starts Thursday, Chicago turn .
ing the trick, z to /.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-28
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION

Buy w. 5. S.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
DEMAND ABDICATION.

Some of the German papers are
rudely beginning to hint that the
Kaiser and the Crown Prince, having
sacrificed the Fatherland for the last
four years. should now sacrifice
themselves for the Fatherland by alb
dicatinc.
In this connection a contemporary
asks but what shall be done with
them? Can they retire to private life
with safety to themselves or Ger
many? Would they not be excessively
uncomfortable in such a role-even,
more uncomfortable than if shut up
somewhere and treated as distinguish
ed criminals?
The problem appears to be an easy
one to gentle, Christian, American.
lady who has communicated her senti-
ments. Her idea is that the Kaiser,
his sons and two or three hundred
thousand or so of the persons most
responsible for the war, or most
frightful in their conduct of it, should
he Harmed out" 70 the countries
which they have ravaged and desc
lated. They have proved themselves
very efficient in the work of destruc-
tion. They should be made to prove
their efficiency in the work of recon-
struction. For instance, the kaiss..'
and the Crown Prince, with fifty or
one hundred thousand of the Pan
Germans, might be assigned to help
in building up Belgium, the other sons
and similar following might be as
signed to France. Serbia. and Poland
to help repair damages. And in every
case th"y' should be made to work I'M
der q guard of Belgian. French, Ser
sbiars g F P 'i' women who's have suf
fered specially during the war. -
This would be poetic justice. But
hell has 70 furics such as these guards
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
vOX POPuLi.,

Germany's answer to President
Wilson's note has been received. 1t
is, couched in language similar to
other hypocritical missives which have
emanated from the same source
evasive and unsatisfactory An al
most unanimous cry has gone up,from
every section of the United States
demanding unconditional surrender of
the Hun army and navy before any
negotiations looking tnn'aEd peace
can be entered into.
The Gazette vies with all other. pa
tr;otic newspapers in the land Of eN-
pressions of contempt Tor tEc writer's
Of this insolent' reply to the Prcsi-.
dents note:
Vexs;lapu may not always be vos,
des we llifeS heas'en ZEN.
.dorsss the action of the nations new.
1canfsdeyatsd to rid the earth of the
fcnton s.o,;stef,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
THIS is. NO TIME T0eTAEK PEACE

The Manufacturers Record of Bal
timore last February gave certa in
warnings which are as appropriate
now rs they were then. Among
other things our contemporary said:
The supreme question before this
country is to fight, and fight for It's
own life, for civilization and for
Christianity itself, to the after en-
termination cf' the accursed power of
Germany, which has filled the world
with blood and sorrow.
This is no time to talk peace or to
think Of peace.
Indeed, no man or woman having
a due appreciation of the fearful I'M
morality of Germany can possibly
look with any degree of favor what
soever upon any other peace with
Germany than the peace which the
law makes with the individual murd-
erer and rapist when forced to pay
the just penalty of his crime.
This is the time to stir the fight
ing spirit of America, and in this way
strengthen the fighting spirit of
England; France, Belgium, Italy and
Serbia, who for nearly four years
have poured out their blood to save
the world from destruction by bar
barism.
ANY suggestion Of peace on any
other terms than the complete de-
struction Of the military power Of
Germany and the punishment unto
death of those responsible for Ger
many's actions would. be- merely the
Offering of! q Uranium upoT grimes.
andl a slltess suggestion wouid'be a; Dis
grace to the moral fiber of any man
who uttered The thought.
There can be 20 peace with the red
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
GERMNNY'S INTENTIONS
Intend; to Fail Back on, the Short Zinc
From Holland.

Paris. Oct. 22.-The news of the
last foi ty-eight hours is corrobatlve
Of Gc-n;any's intention to fall back
on the short line from Holland,
through Licge, Metz end Strassburg,
to Switzerland.
The eleventh-hour armlsticc nIancu-
yer having failed to save them from
disaster, Won HiaGenDu. ;. and Luden-
dorff are working hafl in glove with
Eerl L. playing for It'll J. Meanwhile
they .;.e praying to e,cr::' sarlcty of
borne billikcn that =oncthing will
!rap">n to prevent dcoS.;..."
hinr throughR. he rom rob ron: ron
Apparently the ray season has
ccn.ll need, holding ont the hope thai
GcEera! Winter will grant the rr:cc
whirl the allies REFUSED However
the 1a,tie is rafting c.,
I.a'' ndorff's general plan seems
lear It consists o. refusing battle
en- Ire northern flank Will. stubborn.
!: ilj.i:ng on to tn r"''ti III ln+he
.e'hsr
l.c.,,' have r.rhal iaris that
the Huns do not intend to defend
Antwerp. Masses OF. boches are pour
ing past Antwerp toward Liege, like
WISE much material.
Military critics do not believe the
Germans would have quit the Belgian
coast unless they realized the necess.
ity of giving up practically all of Be-.
GUM.
Things are laso livening up on the
Alsace-Lorraine trent, where the Ger.
mans are very uneasy, Developments
are expected there, especially by t:e
enemy. Thus while the precise Goa.
nf Ludendorff's maneuvers can sill
onIy be surmiSed, the scheme of reach,
ing it is perfectly clear cut.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22

haaded murdered 10 peace with the
rapist except that peace which the
law enforces; in ali civilized communi-
ties against such black crimes, and
there can be no other basis of peace
with Germany than the enforcement
of the same law and to the same ex-
terE.
We cannot think of placing prem
ium upon such crimes without dis
eracing our mothers, our wives, our
daughters and all womanhood.
We cannot think of welcoming back
without contrition and without pun
ishment the cold-blooded murderer
and outrager of women and children,
neither can we think of welcoming
back. into world society, except
through punishment and contrition
those who internationally and indivld-
ually have stained the pages OF mis-
tory with blood and sorrow, and as
never before in all human experience
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
TIME is THE TEST.
The Testimony Of Alexandria People
Stands the Test.

The Testimony Of Alexandria People
Stands the Test.
The test of time is what tells tho
tale. The pubic soon finds out wher
Misrepresentation are made, and
merit alone will stand the test of time
Alexandria people appreciate merit,
and many morths ago local citizens
publicly endorsed Doan's Kidney Pills;
they do so still. Would citizen
make the statement, which follows UNI
les Convinced that the article was
just as represented? Below is testl-
mony such as the sufferer from I'D
ney ills is looking for.
Mrs. G. ". Davis, LOT Prince St,
Alexandria, says: doctors treated me
for along while and pronounced my
case of kidney trouble severe one.
Often I felt SO listless and nervous, |
almost gave up hope. Doan's Kidney
Pills brought me relief after every
thing failed. Doan's strengthened my
kidneys and removed the trouble
THREE YENRS LATER Mrs.
Davis added: q still take Doan's Rid
ney Pills occasionally when my kid
neys don't. act as they should. / al
ways get quick reIief.r
Price G6c.. at all dealers. Don't
simply ask for a Kidney remedy-gct
Doan's Kidney Pills-the same that
Mrs. Davis had, Foster Milburn Co,
Mfgrs,, Buffalo, n. Y.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
MUST ELECT DEMOCRATS
Is Necessary in Order to Uphold
Hands of the President.

Is Necessary in Order to Uphold
Hands of the President
If the Lands Of the President are to
ia upheld and the war program sue
cessfully concluded the election of
democrats to the Senate is necessary,
according to a statement issued by
Senator Peter Gerry Of Rhode Island,
chairman Of the Democratic Senatorial
Committee.
There perhaps has never been 4
time in tie history of our country.
said the Senator, "when the decision
# the voters was of such paramount
Importance as. it will be on next cleo
ton day. The effect Of their action will
he far-rcaching, not only on the fu-
trne Of this country but on that OF
the world
IF tile president is to receive
wkole-hearted support; if entire con-
f,Gence ard aid is to be given him;
II he is to stand forth as spokns-
man of 4 united people, it can only
g. done by electing 10 the Senate
men of his political faith.
"To argue that Democratic Prcsi
dent can work with Republican SEN
ators with the same degree of har-
IRONY, no matter how loyal they may
be is All absurclity, for Republican
majority in the Senate means re-
change N both leadership ard The
complexion of tie various commit
tees"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
CALL NOTE PUERILE
Eondon Papers Have No Proof of Any

London, Oct. 22.-"Puerile and in
coherent" is the description given to
the last German peace note by the
Eaily Mail
"The l:ote comes at the same time
* the rrws Of the sinking OF the
Steamship Dundarli5 in the Irish a
" a German submarine. At the same
tame comes news of the stealing o.
food sent by the American, COMMITS
sion2into Ostend.; The allies have no
proof yet of any change on the part
of Germany"
THE German note means that Ger
rlany must gain time OF The state ard
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
JEWISH CHAPLAINS NAMED

New York, Oct. 22-The appoint
mcnts OF five additional! chaplalns to
minister to the spiritual needs u
Jewish soldiers and sailors with the
American fighting forces have been
announced by the Jewish welfare
beard Seventeen more rabbis. who
have been recommended to the War
Department, will be commissioned
sool..
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
would constitute. We expect
Kaiser would prefer the guillotine.
FecH BELIEVES IN PRAYER


Stonewalls Jackson; who never lost
a battle; believed in prayer. While
the eyes. of the world were, turned
upon this great strategist he could
have often been found in some rural
house of worship praying to the Ruler
of the universe.
Foch,, the man.fo the hour, he to
whom the civilized: world is now look
ing is also a a believer in prayer, and
inyokes the invocations of others for
success upon the allied arms. While
the brutal Kaiser is assuming that
God is with his horde of cutthroats,
the great generalissimo is having his
nrawers answered. in a remarkable
manner.
As a.. climax to the ceremonies
which have, marked the fiftieth ami
versary of the elevation of Cardinal
Gibbons to the bshopric, members of
the. French and English missions, be-
fore a.. notable gathering of the prin-
cipal clergy of the archdiocese of
Baltimore at the Cardinals residence
Yesterday afternoon paid eloquent tri-
butes to- the Cardinal.
Monsignor William Barnes, Catholic
chaplain of the. University of Oxford
was. among the speakers. He said he
had also come as suppliant to ask a
boon which none but the Cardinal
could grant. On July 16, the feast
of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, in
answer to an appeal made to them,
100000. children, of England had Of
fererl their communions for the. in
tention of that great soldier; Marshal
Foch. It was at the moment when
things looked darkest; when Paris
was almost hourly expected to fall;
when it seemed inevitable that before
victory could be reached there must
be some further suffering and tenn
porary defeat.
Marshal Foch, in response to what
had been done, sent the following let
ter:
4 have felt very deeply the express
sion Of your sentiments, the noble
thought that has prompted: your initia-
tive. The Act of Faith which the
children of Great Britain have made
for my intention has profoundly touch
ed me. Please express my gratitude
to them and beg them to continue
their prayers for the victory of our
just cause
Since that time he has sent another
message: II am still depending on
the. prayers of the children; ask them
to go to communion for me again
and again"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22

For sale-Apples, Baliy Mch!ro
Farms, near occoquan, IS cents AID
800 the bushel. Bring baskets or
barrels. Cleveland English; ouperiE-
tendent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22

FIR salc-Beautiful acre tracts at
Columbia Place, west of tie Wire
less Towers, near car line, price
5000 TO $3.50, terms $3.50 per
month, Liberty Bonds accepted az
cash. ) room cottage with 2 acTe<
for rem. at $500 per month. Phone
Rosslvn 142-c or write particulars.
Columbia Land Co., Arlington, Va.
250-2t
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-10-22
CUR W-sUFFERERs

There's always some ones trouble that
lis greater than your own,
~ There's always some ones sorr1W
RI lust bit more bitter, too;
Ehere's always some ones worry
makes you feel you're not alone
InHhe shadows when the dark days
make you blue.
IT is an ancient observation that
no matter how poignant may be our
son ow we can. il we look around. find
others bearing still heavier burdens.
It is so now in homes in Alexandria
where loved ones are gathered around
the forms Of those who few DAYS
ago were as full of life as those now
mourning over them. In other homes
the inmates are awaiting the arrival
of the earthly remains of loved ones
who have died in other places during.
the prevalence of the epidemic which
has spread over our country. In some
of the homes darkcned by affliction
other members Of the households are
far away across the sea battling for
Liberty, and for whose safe return
prayers are necessarily rising.
We all naturally assume our bur
'dens are the heaviest. But there are,
always others who may not make rs
loud outcries whose sutferings are
more intense from the fact that more
heavy burdens are bearing them
!, down.
Such conditions are in evidence in
Alexandra today. The grim reaper
was busy again last night, and Grape
was streaming from more door knobs
at an early hour. IN some cases child
rem rendered motherless last night
were gathered around breakfast
tables glancing at vacant chairs. In
othershomes the breadwinner was no
more, and a vacant chair told the sad
tale-no more was the head of the
family to listen to childish prattle
at the ciose-of the day, as the little
ones have no father now,
The author of that immortal poem.
yesterday, Today and Forever" in
his flights of Imagination tells US of
paying the debt of nature and passing
into the abode Of The blessed dead.
He further tells of coming back to his
earthly..,home accompanied by or!cl,
5 his guardian angel. He stood invisi-
BILE ,iuchis widows chamber where he
,saW9a f6lys messenger standing by her
side. Passing to the nursery other
celestial beings were with his little
fatheriess ones, while a winged mes
senger from the other world was
bending over the crib of his infant
child While all this was a noble
conceit Of the pious poet. who knows,
after all. that such is not real?