The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1918-03-28

The following poem. with a request
for its publication. is sent us by a
citizen of Northern Somerset County
Some of our readers, we are sure, will
recognize the hero thereof, and and
will take the verse as we are sure
Charlie will, in the spirit of jest
in which it is obviously intended.
WHEN CHARLES NET HIS WAT
ERLOO'
A terrible man has come to town. he
Is an awful pest;
On Saturday nights when he appears
we bid goodbye to rest;
For he talks to beat the Devil and he
laughs to beat the Dutch;
But there's not thing in all he says
that really amounts to much.
But he's got an awful habit which we
really can't excuse,
For he writes up" all he hears us
say and puts 1t in the News"
He'll sit around and blow his horn,
and make lot of noise,
And get us all to talking-for this
stuff he sure enjoys.
And then he'll write the whole thing
up and send it down to town,
Where they put it in the paper, and
do" us right up brown.
And we always get the Devil for what
we never done,
While Charles collects some honor
and also all the fun.
But we think we know the methods.
which this evil man employs,
When he slyly puts one over" on us
innocent young boys.
For though we are young and guile
less, we have cut a wisdom tooth,
And we know that in his writings
there is seldom any truth.
But he got away with all his stuff I'M
til the other night
When he tackled young maiden and
found that she could fight.
Now Charles is sure successful at
very many things;
He can tie wounded toe up with
salye and rags and strings
He can battle persons stomach in
lovely alcohol,
But when he tackled this old girl he
surely got fall.
1t Is Charles peculiar custom to walk
in in breezy style,
With eye-ball flashing pleasantness
and nineteen feet OF smile;
And to pass the glad hand to the
bunch, then throw his chest way out
And then without a moment lost he
just begins to spout.
hot
vex this vale of Tears,
And he'll mention all the happenings
of the last nine hundred years.
While we less gifted mortals, will
watch him wag his mouth,
Which never was defeated til this
coming to our house.
We were seated at the table eating
bread and cake and beans,
When Charles let off some eloquence
in spurts and spouts and streams.
And the subject of this gushing was
nothing more than this
Just a wonderful expression as to
How a Man Should Kiss"
He rolled his eyes and waved his arms
and pumped the language out;
And, | think we all conceded, know
ing what he talked about;
For he hypnotized this maiden til we
easily could note,
That his eloquent expressions had
captured her poor goat.
For 1t seems she'd never done 1t, but
Charles, he took her eye;
And she said II he was willing that
she thought she'd like to try.
And because that he could do II so
very, very well,
She said IF you will Kiss me l Will
never, never tell"
At these words poor Charles was
frightened, and his swarthy cheek
turned pale;
The eloquence upon his lips 1t surely
then did fail
He rushed out OF our presence and
beat it, down the pond;
And from every indication we guess
that he is gone.
But he left his reputation as kiss
er" OF renown;
But in fact we think he had 1t long
before he came to town.
And he also left woman who was
very. very mad,
Because she had been humbugged by
this spouting, kissing lad.
We regret he's lost his courage where
the women are concerned;
But we have a blamed good program
to make the stuff return;
For at the next Town Meeting, we'll
all vote In a troop,
To purchase for our Brother Charles
ten quarts of "Brigham's Soup.