The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-01-30
LETTERS OF
TWO WOMEN

BY ZOE BEcKLEY.

A Mans Fear.
The Hotel near the Desert, Jan. 10. T.
Kate:
Where shall 1 begin; how to tell
you what has happened! But per-
haps.l dear old understanding friend.
you will fill in the blanks of my crude
letter and read what's in my heart.
after its terrible storm.
What brought back Curt to sme
was q say it without malice) f-e-a-rl
Fear of his threatened marriage ship
wreck. Fear of the loneliness of
heart that even the loss of a half
loving wife leaves behind her. Fear
of what people would say. Fear of
but let me give it to you in Curtis
own words:
"Oh, May, now that I'm free from
in this strange place where things
are primitive and we aren't SO bound
by familiar ways" he told me, II can
admit to you that from the day you
left the world seemed actually to
come crashing about my ears.
Il am not a demonstrative man.
May (How well knew it, Kits:
yet my heart melted at his confess
sionD often 1 wish 1 were. But
if you know what / went thru after
you went away. you'd realize that
some of the hardness must be melted
out of me.
''May-the baby got sick. Oh. don't
be frightened; she's all right now.
You know how suddenly Riddles can
get down-and then way up again.
Well. Mother had gone to sit up with
old Mrs Swan, who was having
spell, and 1 couldn't reach her by
phone. For the first time in my life
1 knew what cold fear was. 1 had
doctor came. And again after he
went. And quiet Junior who yelled
for you and wouldn't be comforted.
And make fires. And cook And
see to supplies and all the thousand
things you had used to do, and Mother
did after you went.
I'm the night while I was watching
the baby, 1 thought things over. There
is something about three o'clock in
the morning that brings AN uncanny
insight, May. It's different from day.
! light. Your spirit seems nearer the
surface. Commonplace things grow
spiritualized and spiritual things grow
tangible.
'May-you must come back There
is nothing else thinkable. Come on
your own terms. Only come back and
make home HOME. Do you want q
decenter allowance? I'll give it to you.
Do you want q fairer, kinder deal
from-from my mother? You shall
have it. l see where she has been
wrong, May. Are you hungry for q
7 .
Wen have a second honeymoon. I've
got nurse at home, dear. woman
the doctor told me about. who came
out to the coast with rich patient
who nearly wore her out and then
refused to pay her rightful wages. I've
got her for two weeks at half her
regular salary" (Kate-how excru-
ciatjngly like Curt is this speech! But
am so happy that 1 forgive him every
fault he ever had or ever will have)
Curt is changed. / can't define IT,
1t is as he says-that something gross
and hard has been burned out of him.
The neighbors helped Yes, l wormed
from him that the serpent-tongued
gossip mongers on all sides had done
their bit And strangely enough, they
took my side against both Curt and
his revered Ma.
Oh. friend of my heart, how good Il
is to be back in the shelter of love and
home and happiness! What it means
to womani
make no boast, Kits. that our
love is ideal 1t is not But 1 think
now it is PRACTICAL love. And
maybe that is almost as good. l am
not silly enough to picture Curt and
myself in a rosy future unclouded
by wrangles and trials We shall have
our differences. our problems. but
they will not separate US. For-this
is a secret have at last the up-
per hand. dear, I am NEEDED.
What a God blessed thing 1t is to be
you for physical and spiritual help!
more. NAL