The evening herald., 1918-06-01
KEEPING UP WITH WILLIAM
. By IRVING BACHELLER,
Copyrighted by Druuicday.P Page syndicate. 1915
AZ rights reserved

!
their way to the garbage heap.
The Saving Grace of Humor.
"Now. II VIC arc 10 have sound com
mon scnsc we must haVo humOr and
" We ARE 20 have humor, we must have
! liberty There can he no crowned or
mtrcd Enovc. no sacrcd fnwning
IDIOT. who " immune from ridiCulc: no
| little tin dci'ics who can safely slash
YOU with sword unless you give thom
| the whole az the sidewalk IIumor
would take care OF them; not tho OK
ubcruncC that is born In the wine. press
or the hccr-vat IN no by-prod-
uct OF the hrowcry--but the merrimcnt
| that comes when common sense has
been vin1icated by ridiculo.
"Solomnty is often welded 90 con-
ccit, and their children have commit.
ted most Of the crimes on record You
may always look for the deyil IN the
ncighbjrhocd Of some solemn and con-
| ceited ass who has inherited power
and who, like the one that Bulaam
rode, speaks for tho Almighty.
SO whom tho devil cnmc back. he
stecrod tor the heart of the most sol
omn and conccitcd ass In the world
William tho Second of Germany. HlI
had been ruined by adulation. whom he
made u icst the palace rang with
laughter, when he expressed an opin.
ion tho household wore q look Of awe
ON his visits to England he failed tn
got his usual allowance OF hot air
That made him mad. ~ windsor
Castle he used to 20 into yolhnr nts
Dos which no one hut hts old gund.
mother could control him can Won
wonder that Ne became "A solemn and
con''ltHd ss-' ln his heart the dc,Ii
began 10 destroy the common scnsc OF
q rae" Win the atmosphere OF hell
hot Wr We have seen its effect. II
initiates the intellect. - produces the
pneumatic rubber bran-thc brain
that Keeps its friends busy with IN,
pump ut udulHtion; tho brain strrtchc,l
10 hold its Couccit out of which W..
can hear ih" hot air leaking in streams
of huawtulu'ss The divine afintus or
an emperor Is apt 90 make us much
disturbance as lothv stcampipc
When ih" bumpers cease because they
are weary " becomes Irrit1tcd Thcn
all hands TO the pumps again Souu
thrr" is no Illusion OF grandeur too alb.
suri 10 be- real no udirimrn, of
idotic presumption which 10 is un.
willing to admit
by and hv ~ breaks INTO tho r.aln,
oi the lpfntc and hastens To tho sue
cor OF God, for tu the pneumatic brain.
God ~ slow and old-fashiouCd. There
after u lufcsts the heavenly throu. and
socks To turn II nto q plant for tho
manufac'ur" OF improved morals. and
So as ." insure their popularity. every
agent tor these morals u.s. to car 4, "A
sword and gun and % license to us,
them
The alleged Improvement consists
In taking an the nots out Of tho 20,
commandments. Nots arr Irritating ,n
certain people who ha,, plans for
mufn"r upo. arson and pra,y
"lIohouloll'rn and Erupp had taken
IN" Lord into partnership and b,prp
10 give iiim lessons n cfhci.p,, Mo-.
over they Wcur not to h,. FREQ f.ssop.
ih' lessons were to bo paul tor but
thcN were willing 10 give Him .,g,
,.'nns, Tor which thcy wcr, to show
'i''n h"" 10 hasten Tho slow process Of
,'"i"''"h. Evolution WIS hiniDrcd and
DELAYED ul sentiment and emoiInr
sentiment and emotion were
needless inheritance Hohcpzo,lrrp
una Nrupp proposed to cut them out
OF Ilio and abolish tears Tears CON.
S"mtd the tim" amt strength Of fh,
people They were factors of r,n
'''h'' What was the use of ,r,irl
over spilled milk and dead poopI. ,
Tears N"r" iu the nature uf "a n>ii,,,
Ih' poor could not AFFORD them. Jif,
was not going to be hvod any Ionr,,
kind of ,nrr,nI ".a,.... - was '" Do" 20
would t,,yo :, 80 '""' N"h'dS
would IN, ot,,n,aa ~ ~ ''. M mat
nci,I W Wy inc proper Of
.p,,p,. ,,..., .,
bu, work I,,s,r, w. '',' law, n",h'hs T." do
a,a,,,,,' -''aur' was 10 10" ,uioved