The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1918-12-30
THE GREAT
BOY PROBLEM
BY MRS. KINGSLEY.

y
happiest person in the world, now, aren',
you, really? Yes, you have your diff.
culties-and rearing son is gigantic
difficulty, all mothers agree on that. He
may be headstrong; most real boys are
He may be nerve-rackingly boisterous:
he wouldn't be half boy if he weren't
He may go in" for vooiferous necktie,
that put your good taste to shame: all
boys do that at some time or other in
their lives. But worst of all, he NAV no,
give you his confidence; that is partly
your fault 1t is possible for any mother
to win the confidence of her son pro-
viding she brings all her tact, all her
sweetness, all her patience, all her moth
er instinct to the task.
It is about confidence that wouId
speak for that is the rock-bottom foun-
dation of successful boy training In the
very young child, boy or girl, confidence
in mother is second nature. Every sim
gle little hurt, new plan, question, all are
brought before the maternal court. l
regret to say, though, that the maternal
court is not always the most sympathetic
place nor always the most just place OF
decision. Sometimes it gives you a per-
fectly corking hearing, but two months
later it sees fit to renew the whole un-
beautiful scene when YOU had quite for
gotten all about it. No wonder the
small boy locks his lips at such open
abuse of his confidence.
Now, do not mean to imply that all
mothers are like the much maligned
stepmother; that they are cruel and UNI
sympathetic to degree; or that they
are Intentionally unjust and knowingly
responsible for their sons lack of con-
dence in them But | do want to tell
these same mothers that they are very
often thoughtlcss where they should be
most thoughtful; and that they arc re-
sponsible for the lack of confidence on
the part of their boys.
But there is consolation in the knowl-
edge that confidence once lost may with
the exercise of tact and patience be re-
gained. Of course, this is pretty much
after the teens" but it is
erninently probable before that. To
begin with the mother must appreciate
the value of confidence in character
building, and then she must appreciate
the confidence as it is given. 1t is not
sufficient to say to ones self How Tor
tunate / am in having son who tells
me everything" and then show only
forced interest in what is being told. If
necessary drop everything before you
while you give the little matter at hand
your whole attention. Reason things
out with the little fellow, and then sug-
gest adyice-remember Suggest" Oh,
what tremendous influence for good
you can exert here Just think of theI
golden opportunity that you have to in
culcate sound principles, high ideals and
a right idea of things in general.
Once Nu have proved yourself SYM
pathetic listener, and wise judge, do
not spoil it all by referring to the un-
pleasant matter some time later. Learn
to drop thing, and perfect wealth ~
trust is yours without the asking. An
other great help in winning the muchy
coveted trust is in getting the boy
viewpoint of the situation. In other
words, prove yourself real "churn." In
the exercise OF the "chummy' spirit the
mother is all-powerfui as character
Why have not spoken of the daugh-
ter's confidence? Simply because deal
too much thought is given to the up
bringing of the daughter with the resul
that the boy of the house just grows Ii
Of his own accord like any other weed
Why, nine mothers out of ten will te
you that the girl is much more of
problem than the boy. AS far as thu
goes, both are pretty equally problemat
ical propositions. But why the girl
friends should be chosen for her willis
the boy picks up" his must ever remain
a mystery to those who disregard sex
distinction when it is question q1
morals.
Mary simply has to discontinue her
acquaintance with that young man.
because he is not the right sort for her.
Must John discontinue his acquaintance
with that young woman" for the same
reason? Unfortunately for all com
cerned, mother has never once laid ey
on the young woman friend of John
In all probability, John is the victim
a much-abused confidence. He rarely
ever was given an honest hearing. ~
il he were he was dead sure to get %
other some times when he least wants
to hear it. Now is he honestly to blan
for making his own decision in every
thing unadviscde