Trench and camp. [volume] (Augusta, Ga.) 1917-1919, 1918-06-26
Weekly FABLE In Slang
BARTON RICHARDS

looking like an advertisement for Nun
yon's remedies, at the same time lay
back in a divan with a noncha-
lance that came Of long practice
The next thing to do was to send
the posters to the fellow in charge OF
camp activities at the various camps,
with 8 little note, saying that he didn't
want much advertisement of his com
ing, merely a. few dozen posters run up
on tn building where he was to speak
and a. few well chosen announcements
in the papers.
Comes now the day when O. Phyd-
ale does the breaking Of home ties
stuff and the town turned out 10 wish
him luck, and with his trusty bag IN
one hand and q yard OF ticket IN TOE
other fist he loads on the $3.50 flyer one
afternoon and gives the town the g. b.
The next A. M. saw him pulling into
his first camp town and greatly to his
surprise. the army wasn't out to raeet
i'm with the regimental bands doing a
company front. Not only that but the
iitney drivers didn't even know who
he was, and the city seemed to be in its
regular order when he went over town,
with no flags out or any Of that sort OF
thing. However genius is liberal ana
Phyd overlooked these few things ana
after Hooverizing about a half dollars
worth at one OF the local hash foun-
dries he wenGed his way TO the camp,
and here again there was no prepare
tiea for the incoming Of the celebrated
%. Phyddle.
Right away o. r. D. D. decided that
patience had exceeded the virtue linz
1t, and it was up to him to read the
well known riot act to the guy in charge
Of camp activities for laying down OH
the Job like that. You can guess about
how far he got away with that sort or
junk, for the @. I. c. o. G. n. put the
quietus on that line by saying tsat the
advertisements Of the great and only
Ihyd were up on the buildings. With
! alice toward none and charity for all,
our friend forgaye everybody concern
ed until that night when he got 10 the
building and found out that only two
sides OF the building had been cover
ed with ads, the inside and the outside,
and in voice choked with indignation
and spearmint gum he asked why there
were no streamers on the roof,
That speech went down in history
that night, went so far down that prob
ably It hasn't reached bottom yet
o. p. opened up with a trite introduce
ton Of 10 minutes and said that he
wouldn't occupy much time, and the
CAB fest was Oh With the eloquence
OF a train caller he led his hearers back
to the beginning Of time, and then left
than there to find their way out by
themselves, and from there he Jumped
over a few thousa.-d years Of time and
took fresh start. Adult this time the
dust from the lecture got 80 thick
that some of the fellows were seized
with violent sneezing, and one after
another they remembered important
engagements.
There was quite crowd left when
Phyd finished, one Of them was an M
f.. on duty ard the other was . janitor
who wanted to mop out for the morn
ing. O, Phyddle was a hit, just Ike
the Sultan of Sulu Is q bachelor, and a
few days later Hickton county had her
two crops together again.
Moral:H you are going to be big
wind, the best plan is to start out by
being a breeze.