davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
HE WAS THERE TO SLEEP
And Little Thing Like the Building
Burning Couldn't Rouse dutch"
From SIumber.

At camp Dutch" as he was called,
was reputably the biggest sleepyhead
and most absent-minded individual ex-
listing.
One night Dutch" was, as usual,
In blissful repose, when some of the
buildings in the barracks caught ire
and the alarm was spread rapidly to
oil parts OF the camp. and the IRE
finally came alarmingly near the bunk
where Dutch" was dreaming of shoot.
Ing the Huns into Hades.
In his sleep dutch" finally got W
and wandered to another part of the
barracks, where he crawled into some
ones bunk and peacefully slept on
amid the roar and clatter, flames and
smoke.
Not until long after the building had
burned to the ground and only cinders
and ashes were left did any one Trims
of Dutch" After a prolonged search
they finally found him, sweetly ant
blissfully sleeping with the cover
pulled up around his chin like an in
nocent babe, and closely clasping II
either hand his girls picture and
safety razor.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Japan,s Income Tax Increases.

Japan having decided upon an in
crease in her navy that involves the
expenditure of $150,000000, spread
over six years, a general increase of
taxation has been proposed, and it will
probably be carried out.
The income tax Is to be raised In q
way to bring an aggregate addition
of 20 per cent, the increase being
graduated so as to be only 10 per
cent upon the smallest incomes and
so per cent upon the largest. The
minimum income tax will be $3.50.
A war profits tax is to be initiated
on both business profits and on in.
comes, but no personal income of less
than $1,000 a year will be taxed on
account of it's having risen during the
war, and In this way the wages Of
working people and moderate salaries
do not have to pay for the wage In.
creases of war time. Higher than
$500, personal incomes must pay 10
per cent of increase and companies
that have increased profits must pay
20 per cent tax upon the increase.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
TOO WEAK
TO FIGHT

The Comeback" man was really never
down-and-out. His weakened condition
because of overwork, lack of exercise, i'm
proper eating and living demands stimula-
ton to satisfy the cry for health-giving
appetite and the refreshing sleep essential
to strength. GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil
Capsules, the National Remedy of Holland,
viii do the work They are wonderful.
Three of these capsules each day will put
man on his feet before he knows 1t;
whether his trouble comes from uric acid
poisoning the kidneys, gravel or stone in
the bladder, stomach arrangement or other
ailments that befall the over-zealous Amer
lean. The best known, most reliable rem
edy for these troubles is GOLD MEDAL
Haarlem Oil Capsules. This remedy has
stood the test for more than 200 years
since its discovery in the ancient labora-
tories in Holland. 1t acts directly and
gives relief at once. Don't wait until you
are entirely down-and-out, but take them
today. Your druggist will gladly refund
your money if they do not help you. Ac-
cept no substitutes. Look for the name
GOLD MEDAL on every box, three sizes.
They are the pure, original, imported
HARLEM Oil Capsules.-Adv.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
A Seven-Time Winner.

The unique record of having been
tOrpedoed seven times is held by Will
liam Jessop. a seafarer of Hull, Eng
land, who is seventy-two years of age.
He Is still on the active list. young
men," he said, "have sometimes re-
fused to sail with me, as they think
l shall be unlucky." Jessop is the old
est member of the Ships Cook and
Stewards union in Hull, and general
~ sails as cook or steward. During
the first year of the war he was tor
pedoed three times. and the last four
ships or which he sailed were all lost
His courage. however, remains undi-
minished. 'I will sign on to go anv-
where" he declared.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Another understatement.

In the Companion for May o there
was q joke entitled "Well Within
Bounds" which has reminded reader
of an accident of her youth.
We had mean-tempered colt, she
says, which we had all urged father
to sell, but he would not. One morn
ing when he was bedding down the ami
NAL 1t kicked him viciously. Several
members of the family were in the
barn, and they all ran to see If he had
been hurt and TO hear what he would
say about such an unprovoked attack.
Father, who, by the way, was not
Yankee, picked himself up, rubbed his
well-night fractured shin and remarked
TO the colt, "Well Well I'd think just
as much of you If you hadn't done
that" and then went on with his
work.-Youth's Companion.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Memorable Vacation.

Having n week off on account of be-
ing Overworked, and by advice of our
physician, our wife suggests that 1T
will be corking opportunity TO go
over the house together and find the
loose ends of things and fix them up.
She has laid out half dozen blinds and
rollers that need fixing, carpet that
could be beat without hurting its gen.
eral reputation, n number of pans TO
solder, piece of gable that's loose
on the roof, some rain spouting that
needs attention and few old family
pictures that could be frightened. dust
ed, polished, frames revarnished, ETC.,
and stuck up in the parlor.
All In all, our weeks vacation is go
ing 70 be something TO remember
Richmond Times-Dispatch.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Pershinu Of French Descent.

Some interesting associations may
easily be woven into a news item tell
ing about celebration which recently
took place at Laclede, Mo. The town,
one of the oldest In the old South
west of the United States, was named
after Pierre Ligueste Laclade, native
of Bion, France, founder of st. Louis,
Mo. Years ago q man named Pershing,
a descendant Of an emigrant who left
Alsace when it was a French province,
settled in Laclede. His son, the pres
ent Gen. Joseph Pershing, commander
of the American expeditionary forces
In France, was born there. The cele-
bration referred to was, Of course,
in honor of General Pershing, and ii
was one of the most enthusiastic ever
held in what used to be an almost
exclusively French section of the
country.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
SIMPLY COULDN'T FIND SIZES
Elderly Lady Wasted One Whole
Afternoon, and Finally Gave
Up Task in Despair.

Gosh! / wish / was-not q Belgian
but a pole; not a native of Poland,
but a tall, slim willowy pole, that
could drape herself in the ready-made
dresses which the stores are selling
now, or, rather, Offering for sale, for
If every one has my luck, not many
sales are made" said the matronly one
to her street car companion.
~ am fair (gray). fat and forty (bust
measure), and the other day l went
downtown TO buy a-wash dress, we
used to call them, now you ask for a
tub frock. Well, / asked for them and
that was about all. One saleswoman
showed me what she called a simple
little gingham Git looked like the ones
the nurses weary for S19.75. and anoth-
er which she said was of better quality
for $25. was prepared TO pay the
price, but didn't like the gowns. Ii
was the same way at the other stores.
Every thing that was attractive was
only in the smaller Sizes
There was one simply made geor-
gette crepe that l thought might be
becoming to my matronly style, but
when inquired about 1t, it was six
teen-year size. DO you have 1t In a
sixty-yearT l asked, but the clerk ig-
nored my query.
- met numerous other women about
my build ald age during the afternoon
at different stOreS-S0me of them SO
often that we grew quite chummy, but
/ don't suppose they Jared any better
than / did. 1 finally met one l knew
and | said to her: You might as well
go home. They don't make 'em for US.
IL also looked for a small georgette
hat (they had teen advertised), and
the clerk said: Yes, we have them, but
you wouldn't want one with fringe on
it. She was right. / wouldn't.
"I shopped from II o'clock to . BE
and came home bearing with me the
two articles had been able to find il
my size-a hair net and belt. Really
! a comfortable costume for hot weather
but hardly suitable for fat lady sixty
years old. d."-Indianapolis News.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Soldier Dressmakers.

War-broken soldiers are making
ladies' dresses il London, while for
mer dressmakers are turning out
shells and other munitions in fac
tories. The London. costumier has
never been so busy in her life. Many
are five or six weeks deep in work,
their clients being grateful to get a
promise of dresses at almost any
date. Munitions pay the dressmaker
better than the needle, and they are
all eager 10 go TO WoOlwich or the
big factories TO help make shells. \
suburban dressmaker, who has three
wounded men helping. says IL is as
tonishlng how well they do the work
The finest bead work on the market
Is turned out by wounded soldiers.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Could Not Obey Doctor.

An anaemic young married man
went 10 the doctor last week. The
doctor made an examination and said :
You do not eat enough. Go home and
eat as heartily as you can in order 10
build yourself up"
The young man went home and told
his wife what the doctor had said.
We'll" said she, II guess you are
not going TO obey the doctors orders
unless you get big jump in your
salary or the price of eatables takes a
big slump. Maybe the doctor doesn't
have any trouble keeping up with the
h. c. of l., but we do"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
I'M BAD WAY PHYSICALLY
Physicians Verdict Made Recruit Won
der II Any Disease Had Got
Away From Him.

The curiosity of Henry James, who
applied for enlistment in the United
States Marine corps at Los Angeles,
remains unsatisfied.
James was taken before DR.. G. j..
Hildebrand. the examining physician,
and, after the usual physical examina-
tion, was told that he failed to meet
the requirements.
whats the matter with meY quer-
fed the prospective Hun destroyer.
"You've got scoi;osls, phthisis and
synoirtis," was the surgeons reply.
The would-be marine blushe6 TO be
told so frankly what prevented his be-
coming q devil dog, and turned to 60
out. when the doctor shot few hot
parting words after him.
mot only that-you're troubled with
slight astigmatism, otitis media and
chronic furmunculosis."
"Gosh," was all the lad could say as
he fed in confusion.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Not Crazy With the Heat.

"Say, you," yelled the policeman at
a fellow who walked smilingly by, ar
rayed la light pair of trousers. silk
shirt, n panama hat, but with pair
Of ear muffs on as the mercury fid-
geted around the 100 mark and threat
ened to go over the top at any mo-
ment. "What bug house did you es-
cape from?"
II didn't hear YOU" said the man, as
he began TO retrace his steps.
"I say, what's the idea Of the ear
decorations? Have you got short
Circuit In your mental apparatusY
The man grinned. "Naw, nothin'
like that Merely taking n precaution
against hearin' too well. This Is the
open season for the boob who asks you
If It's hot enough for you"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
GIRLS! USE LEMONS
FOR SUNBURN, TAN
Try TEL Make this lemon lotion
TO whiten your tanned or
freckIed skin.

Squeeze the juice Of two lemons In
to a bottle containing three ounces Of
Orchard White, shake well, and you
have a quarter pint of the best freckle,
sunburn and tan lotion, and complex
lon whitener, at very. very small cost.
Your grocer has the lemons and any
drug store or toilet counter will supply
three ounces of Orchard White for a
few cents. Massage this sweetly fra
grant lotion into the face, neck, arms
and hands and see how quickly the
freckles, sunburn. windburn and tan
disappear and how clear, soft and
white the skin becomes. Yes! 1t is
harmlesS.-Adv.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Is true in most cases. Then keep your
face fair and young with Cuticura
Soap and touches Of Cuticura Oint-
ment as needed. For free samples ad-
dress, "Cuticura, Dept. X, Boston"
Sold by druggists and by mail. Soap
%, Ointment % and 50.-Adv.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
lfs EHfenf-

"My teacher gave me an awful call
down because | used inter for intern.
Was that such bad mistake, popT
"Well. my son. / would call it n
grave sort of mistake"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

what did the brides rich relations
give herT
Zone gave her silver. goid-lined
sugar bowl and the other gave her
enough sugar TO fill It"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
They're Stubborn.

What is the easiest way to win
woman?"
"By making her think you hate her.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
A Good Haul.

There is one way of raising reve-
hue they have overlooked"
What might that be?"
"Pntting u war tax on a poets II
cense."
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Counting the Cost.

Jam tarts unlimited was little Bob
by's idea OF heaven, but since war
flour came in and fat was scarce he
hadn't been quite so fond of them as
before.
Mother, coming into the kitchen one
afternoon, saw Bobby gazing at dish
OF newly baked tarts.
what are you doing, Bobby" she
asked sharply.
81 was just wondering. mother"
Wondering? You haven't touched
those tarts. / hope?"
"Not yet mother" said Bobby. ~
was just wondering If they're nice
enough TO be whipped for"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
The DIAGNOSIS.

First Doc-What shall we tell the
family Is the matter with the old fell
low?
Second Ditto-Lets give ourselves
plenty of scope. It's either hardening
Of the arteries or softening Of the
brain.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Practical Outlook.

what do you think Mayme said
when Harold told her he would die for
herr?
what did she say?
asked him how much life insurance
he carried"
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Search Goes On.

"What has become of the search for
the philosophers stone?"
1.-The search changes with every age.
Now we're looking for tire that won't
puncture."
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
a Message to Mothers

the doctors made of flesh and blood just like the doctors with
night readily the broad dayhght they ready
good that Fetchers has
their experience their love for children
Fletcher's Castoria is nothing We
experiment We just
Of buying Fe1her's
physician will tell this, a
of limitations the market and he particularly interested in
welfare baby
e...... o..... Away. bear. I'll. ........ .. .Gzzzzx
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Misery loves company, but even that
ort of company can wear Its welcome
out.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Nothing is worl 4 while If ii hasn't
the good OF the Nation behind Ii.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

BY bridling your tongue you refrain
from saddling your troubles upon
others.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

The best preparation for a hard
days work is a good nights sleep.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

More than 20 different kinds Of wood
are used in the manufacture of UNI
brella handles.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Chicago woman has started crusade
against cats to conserve food.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Oklahoma is this year building ABS
highway bridges.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Stomach Troubles and Dysentery
caused from Drinking Ice Water or from sleeping
near an open window should be checked tmmedl-
ately Get bottle OF GROVES BABY B0WHL
MEDICINE q safe and sure remedy for Summer
Darrhoeas- II Is just as effective for Adults as for
Children.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

Groves Tssteless chill Tonic
destroys The malarial germs which are transmitted
20 the blood BY the Malaria MosQuitc. Price &c
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

The bitterer the fight the sweeter
the victory.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Such as PraisIna the Kaiser.

Some fellows are born with black
eyes; others get them In various ways.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06

No one knows the names OF Adam
and Ewes children except the two old
est boys.
The Jasper weekly courier., 1918-09-06
Sarcasm.

Sarcasm.
at is very hot today"
2m so glad you told me. Saves
me the trouble OF going TO look at the
thermometer"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
ALIENS To STAY,
NOT MOVE ABOUT
After Registering They
Must Get PERI ission
If They Move.

Prohibition of changes OF name or
residence without governmental per-
mission is imposed on all German
alien enemies. required to register as
such during the week OF February
to 9, 1918
, This ruling has been sent out to all
registrars of allen enemies IN all
cities. In the case Of FL Paso. police
chief Charles Pollock is the register
ing officer. In the smaller cities and
towns, the postmaster VIII do the
registering.
According TO attorney general
Thomas W. Gregory. the step is re-
garded as the most vitality important
since the inception of the war in the
recording of movements and loca-
lions of persons loyal TO the enemy
nation All males over the age OF II
years, not fully naturalized, must
register or be liable to internmenr Tor
the period of the war.
Among the suggestions and in
structions transmitted from the at
torney general are the following:
The registration affidavit must be
executed in triplicate- Il must be
personally signed and sworn TO by
the registrant before the registration
officer. The registration officer must
fill in the description of the regis
trant, and all finger prints must be
made under the direction OF the reg
istration officer.
The registration officer shall take
particular care that each registrant
lists all the names by which ne has
ever been known in the space pro-
vided for that purpose in the affi-
daYit- An alien enemy shall not for
any purpose assume or use, or pur-
port to assume or use, or continue
the assumption or use, any name 9TH
er than that by which he was ordi-
narily known at the time OF filing
his resignation affidavit.
Every alien enemy shall furnish to
the registration officer, IN addition
to any particulars required to be in
serted in the registration affidavit
any information which may reason
ably be required for the purpose Of
registering such alien enemy or for
maintaining the corrections Of these
particulars stated on his registration
affidavit or otherwise.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
Court Opinion Does
Not Bar Clubs From
Selling To Members

Austin, Tea, Fen. Inquiries are
reaching the attorney generals de-
partment from various portions Of the
state from county officials and others
relative to the recent decision of the
supreme court in a case from FL Paso
county, in which il was held in an
opinion by chief justice Nelson Phil
lips that county attorney had auth
GRITTY to institute proceedings for in
junction to restrain social clubs from
selling or dispensing liquor to mem
bers Of such clubs.
Those making these inquiries, as
sistant attorney general Keeling said,
are laboring under the impression
that the supreme court has decided
that social clubs cannot sell intOXicat-
ing liquor to members. In fact IL is
said the district attorney of Webb
county, based on the FL Paso decision
ordered'all clubs in that county closed.
The supreme court" said judge
Keeling, mas not passed on the ques-
tiOn as 10 whether or not social clubs
may sell intoxicating liquors TO its
members under their charters. This is
the question which is involved in the
Austin Country club case. which is
still pending in the supreme court"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
Looked and Acted Like
MoUie Actor, Not Amy
Chaplin; Is Arrested

Los Angeles. Cal. Feb. His re-
markable resemblance to Charlie
Chaplin and his habit Of initiating the
film comedian has resulted in the ar
rest in Kansas City Of Stephen H.
Inslee on a charge Of having robbed
the postoffice at Cornell. = station
near Los Angeles.
InsIee was formerly assistant post
master at Cornell He is alleged TO
have taken a pad Of money order
blanks and TO have cashed five of
them. according 10 Los Angeles fed
eral officers.
Inslee, it was stated, is the image
Of Charlie Chaplin. He wears the
eyebrow" mustache and walks with
the same comical shutting gait af-
fected by the comedian
Initiates Chaplin.
AS well as possessing the resem-
blance 70 Chaplin, Inslee is said to
initiate his comical mannerisms-
When Inslee disappeared the au-
thorities sent out the word:
If you see a second Charlie Chap
lin, arrest him"
A Kansas City police officer
noticed Inslee on the street. He was
struck by the remarkable resemblance
of the man TO Chaplin and followed
him.
When Inslee unconsciously initiated
the comedians gestures the police Of
ficer remembered his order and ar
rested him.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
BAPTISTS Will
Be SHOWN CITY
e.. P. Putnam Heads Cham
Der Commerce Committee
on Sanatorium Seekers.

A committee Of the southern Bap-
fist church which is making tour
Of southwestern cities for the purpose
Of selecting a site for the location Of
a sanatorium for tubercular patients
will reach Ell Paso Saturday or Sun
day, according 10 information re-
ceived from Rev. H. F. Vermillion,
heading the delegation, who is for
mer pastor Of the Baptist church at
Las Cruces, y. NJ
As chairman of a reception commit
tee, president Otis G Coles, OF the
commerce chamber, has appointed G.
B. Putnam with authority to select
his own committee. The visiting dele
CATION will be shown over the city
and every effort made to give them
any information available which they
may desire.
TSe delegation will go to Las
Cruces next after visiting FL Paso,
and it is expected that they Will be In
that city Monday
Other members OF the committee
which will entertain the visitors are
]. H. Nations. c. NJ. Newman, o c
Coles, J. NJ Wyatt, c. c. Henderson.
Rev. 0. J. Wade and Rev. J. F.
Williams.
Sunday afternoon a meeting Of
Baptists viii be held in Calvary
Houston Square Baptist church to
meet the visitors, who are members Of
the tuberculosis board of the Southern
Baptist Home Missions board
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
Merchants Lunch 40c
CampbeIrs Cafe.-Adv.
The Joy Of
Coming Motherhood
A Wonderful Remedy That Is Natural
AidSnd Relieves the Tension.

The ezpectant mother revolves in her
mind al we understand by destiny. And
Il is OF the utmost Importance that her
physical comfort be our first thought
There is q most splendid remedy for
this purpose known as Mothers Friend
u IS applied over the muscles Of the
stomach. gently rubbed in, and at once
penetrates 20 relieve strain on nerves,
cords and garments. II makes the mus
eies so plant that they expand easily
when baby arrives and pain and danger
az the crisis is naturally less
Mothers Friend IS for external use only,
is absolutely safe and wonderfully effec-
tive u enables the eIpectant mother
i9 preserve her health and strength and
she remains "a pretty mother by having
avoided the suffering and danger which
would otherwise accompany such an oc-
casion- Every nerve muscle and tendon
Is thoroughly fabricated
Mothers Friend IS prepared by the
Eradneid Regulator Co. J. 200. Lamar
Bldg. Atlanta. Ca. They will mail vo1
al Intensely interesting Motherhood
Dock Write them 70 send It 10 you,
ana in the meantime send or phone 10
your druggist today for 4 bottle OF Moth
eI-s Friend
Every woman should ala nature IN her
glorious work. Mothers Friend makes Il
possible for you 10 do so. and should Be
used regularly without ian. night and
moruing--Adv-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-02-01
Prayers For Ell Paso
Boys With The Colors
To Be Offered onight

This evening a special service is TO
be held at the cathedral in honor OF
the devotion Of The Sacred Heart,
during which prayers viii be offered
for an the FL Paso boys who have
answered the call Of their country.
The ceremony will be very impressive
both for Catholics OF the city and
their friends of other faiths
Tomorrow morning in the cathedral
the Feast Of the Publication VIII De
celebrated, during which the candles
viii be blessed and distributed TO all
present who have placed their order
before hand. Masses wiz be cele-
brated at $50, and a n.
Lieut.. Frederick Heidelberg, mem
her of the cathedral choir, has re-
ceived his commission and has been
ordered TO report at once at one OF
the big munition plants in the east
to act as special inspector. Lieut.
Heidelberg left Friday.