The Washington herald., 1918-07-07
h"Good Morning, Judge"
. Ngl Human Interest Stories of Runo, By By
.. M Police Court Happenings. PERKINS
IT'S Hard on Josh. by Gosh!

It's Hard on Josh, by Gosh!
Dat man dere. Jedge, he cum 'roun'
me acktin' hard. He says, Ah am
de 'riginal hard guy. All cum fun
hard town
"Ah axes him whar dat place was.
He says Flint. Michigan All tells
him All neber heerd oy dat joint
afore. He tells me dis-'Yo am gwine
heah fun 1t right now
We'll. did you hear from it?' the
court asked Luther Mankin. who was
complaining against Josh Conway.
Nav sab. All didn't hear ennything
at ALL" replied Luther. but good
ness knows All felt somefin' FUN it,
Josh was once a laborer at a fac
tory in Flint. Michigan. He has been
in Washington for about three
months.
Friday afternoon he got all fuddled
up with booze and went out looking
for fight.
He butted into Luther and chai-
lenged him. Luther told him to go to
the deuce and mind his own busi-
ness
A couple of minutes later Josh lit
into the man and knocked him out
completely.
When Luther came to a doctor was
bending over him. His folks were
standing around with worried faces.
He pulled through alright. And
then he helped the cops to find Josh.
Since you went out looking for a
fight" the court remarked to Josh,
Il see no reason why you shouldn't
go to JAIL
i~fx
The Careless Burglar.
Wednesday evening Ralph Bush
man called on Daisy Carpenter. his
sweetheart.
Ralph was broke. He didn't even
have a nickel to take the girl to
the movies. Nor was he able to bor-
row any.
He sidestepped all hints from
Daisy to go out for a good time.
The girl began to get peeved be-
cause she thought that Ralph was
beginning to sour on her.
Unable to understand his atti-
tude, she went upstairs, leaving him
alone in the parlor.
Ralph took advantage of her
absence and snooped around. He
made a thorough search, of the
room.
Under the piano cover he found
an envelope with Sc in it. He slip
ped 1t in his pocket and hoIlered
goodnight upstairs to Daisy. =
The next morning he was arrest
ed. Only half of the money was re-
covered.
II he hadn't played the fool after
| leaving the house by showing the
| money to a crowd of girls in a
yokamee joint. he would doubtless
be free yet.
The fact that Ralph, being engag-
ed to Daisy, had recklessly hugged
| and kissed another woman, reached
Daisy's ears and she made a noise
like q detective and discovered
something.
Not only must he replace, the
stolen money, but he must pay a
fine of $40 besides.
And Sonp IL So Expensive.
Coming home from work with a
headache Thursday evening, Sam
Berkman threw himself acress his
bed, clothes and all, and went to
sleep.
Sam, who works In q stable, didn't
even take the trouble to take his
shoes OF. So you can imagine what
the spread on the bed looked like
when Minnie Copeland, the landlady,
came upstairs.
'fDoggone 20 buttons,' shouted
Minnie. "get up offen dat clean bed
spread wild dem dirty shoes. wot
yo' think All is, ennyhow?'
"GwHn away fun me woman"
growled Sam. "Cain't yo' see An
am sick?"
"Ah will mex yo sick ef yo' doan
git up FUN dere." said Minnie.
"Ah doan think yo' will," said Sam
as he got up and threw q brand new
So. IS lamp at Minnie's head.
Minnie missed It.. The lamp went
wide Of the mark and broke to pieces
against the wall.
She got a warrant for Sam and
charSee him with destroying private
property.
You were not too sick to throw
this lamp and break It,. said the
court to sam.
"Ah was y, sick to throw It