The Benson signal., 1918-01-19

thing. But just the way she spoke his
name startled-almost frightened him,
she said it so quietly, so-tenderly.
"Roddy," she said, II want you to
come over here and kiss me, and then
go back and sit down in that chair
again."
He went little pale at that. The
swing of his foot was arrested sud-
denly. But, for moment, he made no
move-just looked wonderingly into
her great, grave eyes.
"SOmething's going to happen" she
went on, "and before it's over, I'm
afraid it's going to hurt you terribly
and me. And want the kiss for us
to remember. So that We'll always
know, whatever happens afterward,
that we loved each other" She held
| out her arms to him. "Won't you
Gomez"
He came-a man bewildered, bent
down over her, and found her lips; but
almost absently, out of a daZe.
mo, not like that" she murmured.
'In the old way"
There was long embrace.
II don't believe I'd have the courage
to do it," she said, eff it were just me.
But there's someone else-rve made
someone promise. I can't tell you
about that. Now please go back and
sit over there where you were, where
we can talk quietly. Oh, Roddy, love
you so!-No, please go back, old man!
And-and light your pipe. Oh, don't
tremble like that! 1t isn't tragedy.
It's-for us, it's the greatest hope in
the world"
| He went back to his chair. He even
lighted his pipe as she asked him to,
and waited as steadily as he could for
her to begin.
| "Do you remember ." she be-
gan, and it was remarkable how quiet
and steady her voice was. There was
even the trace of a smile about her
wonderful mouth. "Do you remember
that afternoon of ours, the very first
of them, when you brought home my
notebooks and found me asleep on the
couch in our old back parlor? Do you
|
desires were the only motive power
he had? Well, it was a funny thing
I got to wondering afterward what
my desires were, and it seemed /
hadn't any. Everything had, somehow,
come to me before I knew wanted it.
Everything in the world, even your
love for me, came like that.
"But I've got passion now, Rodney.
I've had it for a long while. It's
desire can't satisfy. The thing I
want-and there's nothing in the world
I wouldn't give to get it's, well, your
friendship, Roddy; that's way Of say
ing it,"
Rodney started and stared at her.
The thing struck him, it seemed, as
sort of grotesquely irritating anticli-
max.
"Gracious heaven" he said. "My
friendship! Why, I'm in love with you |!
That's certainly bigger thing"
81 don't know whether it's bigger
thing or not" she said. "But it doesn't
include the other"
He was tramping up and down the
room by now. you've got my friend
Ship" he cried out. "It's grotesque
perversion of the facts to say you
haven't"
She smiled at him as she shook her
head. "Tve spent too many months
trying to get it and seeing myself fail
oh, so ridiculously mot to know
what I'm talking about, Roddy."
And then, still smiling rather sadly,
she told him what some Of the expert
ments had been-some Of her attempts
to break into the life he kept locked
away from her. 81 was angry at first
when found you keeping me out" !"
she said, "angry and hurt. I used to
cry about it. And then I saw it wasn't
your fault. That's how I discovered
friendship had to be earned"
But her power to maintain that atti-
tude of grave detachment was about
spent. The passion mounted in her
voice and in her eyes as she went on.
"You thought my mind had got full of
wild ideas-the wild idea was pulling
you down from something free and fine
that you had been, to something that
you despised yourself for being and
had to try to deny you were. You
were wrong about that, Roddy.
81 did have an obsession, but it
wasn't the thing you thought. It was
an obsession that kept me quiet, and
contented and happy, and willing to
wait in spite Of everything. The OBJ
session was that none of those things
mattered because a big miracle was
coming that was going to change it all.
was going to have job at last-a
job that was just as real as yours
the job of being mother"
Her voice broke in a fierce, sharp
little laugh over the word, but she got
it back in control again.
81 was going to have baby to keep
alive with my own care. There was
going to be responsibility and hard
work thinUS that demanded cOllra pe