Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1918-07-26

be gained by doing so, and PERSONAL
ties will make US emotional, something
to be avoided"
I'VE will have to face that, for 1
have come to ask you to give me an
other chance, Rachel" For an instant
he laid his hand over hers. you are
a s~elf-controlled, self-contained wom-
an, while 1 have always been given to
extremes. For you 1 gave up my old
companions and forced myself to walk
in that straight and narrow path
whose straightness and narrowness
needs a powerful incentive at the fur
Their end to make a man, who all his
life has followed the caprice Of the
moment, keep in the middle of it.
Yet for III small lapse you shut the
door in my face, hut it and the great
er temptation was awaiting me-"
"Oh, l beg of you," she interrupted
IN a stifed voice, "why bring it all
back?"
Il must. 1 do not mean to be
cruel, but we must talk this thing
,ut; talk 1t over from an entirely diff
ferent viewpoint. At that time you
were right. l realize 1t now. Then /
thought differently, for the accursed
spirit Of opposition hat made me OBJ
stinate in wrong had full possession Of
me. The years that have passed be-
tween now and then I have lived in
the Orient and 1 have had opportuni-
ties in plenty to sound the very depths
nf roT1arca and 6ocDoi- dtd not do
serve that shut door, Rachel, but pride
and ~obstinacy kept me silent, for ap-
pearances were against me. Yet I
loved you then 1 still love you"
She had turned so that ne could not
see her face and the silence lasted so
long he touched her to attract her
attention.
II wrote to you" she said at last
'There were often times / felt that
nothing mattered but your nearness.
You did not answer. You did not
come"
when the letters reached me my
own hurt was too recent. I had but
one thought. To make you suffer as
l was suffering. Oil my dear, I do
not seek to justify myself. That is
not possible. l left your letters un-
answered, knowing well you were
fighting distrust. You know my weak
nesses and what they have cos me in
friends and success in life, and know
ing them, l ask you to be generous. I
have wounded you beyond expression.
l see it in your face. 1 hear it in the
tone of your voice. But 1 still care"
Even then she did not urn to him,
and her answer was slow in coming,
but at last she said:
"The fault was mine in the begin
ming, Randolph. l was no child. I
was old enough in the worlds ways to
realize that a man, whose chief aim in
life had been the pleasures of the mo-
ment, could not put them at once out
of his life. 1 was as foolish as any
girl of fifteen who sees nothing in the
great experience but the glamour of
love; who believes her devotion is all
that such a man requires. / did not
realize that 1 needed patience to
counteract habits of a lifetime; pa
tience as well as devotion and a GER
tain reserve of manner. I know that
now, yet knowing it. 1 must hesitate
TO begin again a struggle between my
pride and what I should feel was right
TO you. For I am not the self-con-
tanned woman you think"
"I know that I ask much, but you
have always believed in the merit Of
sacrifice. and you are generous" His
voice was strained in its intensity. IT
hope that 1 am man enough to take
my medicine without whimpering, if
that Is necessary, but n that is
drowning clings to the hand hat Of
fers safety. Your belief in MI is my
one hope of salvation. At this mo-
ment 1 feel that without it l am moral
Iy and spiritually lost"
''You have no right to throw such
responsibility upon me-" she ex-
claimed Indignantly.
81 did not mean quite that, Rachel.
The responsibility was mine through
out. But I am fighting for my happi-
ness, and 1 hope yours. 1 would not
explain, and appearances were against
me and our young life has been spent
apart in consequence. Blu there are
many years before us, years in which
1 will try to make up for what my
pride and obstinacy has cost US, if you
are willing. I was with the crowd
that night. But I left early. 1 did not
touch wine. Neither did 1 play. The
stories told you were lies"
"!Axsl Edna Harwich?"
He looked puzzled. What about
her?'
They told me you spent the evening
with her"
He wrinkled his forehead in concen-
trated thought. "As well as I can re-
member, 1 did not see her that eve
ming. AS I left the club a messenger
hoy called me. The telegram was ur-