South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-10-27
MISHAWAKA NEWS
NeOs. Times Office 12O Lincoln Way West Home Phone Bell


There are no words 70 express our
admiration and affection for the
French. but how unfortunate IL was
that they were never able 20 pro-
nOunce words as they are spelled or
to spell them as they are pro-
nOunced.
The. vista is changing for the
kaiser. What he once refused TO be-
lieve were even possibilities are now
glaring with tragic intensity 20 his
startled gaze as relentless EVENTUAL
ties.
We can't understand the convolu-
tional processes Of the average brain
cell. Now IL is proposed TO use bot
ties of milk instead OF champagne
for christening ships. According to
the uplift doctrine the champagne
has no real value, whereas milk can
nourish babies. Smashing a bottle Of
wine upon the ship consumes a
liquid that is intrinsically worthless.
There is no shipbuilding community
but that there are poor babies who
would like to have the milk. What
would this world do but for the
generous supply Of fools inhabiting
it?
Another reason why it is nonsense
for you TO worry over the presi-
Dental nominees OF 1920 is that
there is no certainty that you won't
Spanish influenza out Of the game
before the men you elect in 1918
have been indicted into Office.
Keep the books on the fines and
penalties, Belgium. Uncle Sam is
going TO have the money refunded,
with interest at eight percent, and
10 percent added for collection
fees.
We suspect the Huns are object
ing strenuously TO the manner in
which Foch ignores the eight-hour
law.
The influenza mask business IS
liable to start up an epidemic OF
highway probation. There are some
men upon whom you can't fix a mask
like that without making them anx-
ious to get out and rob somebody.
The manufacture of frying pans
and safety pins, the two greatest
| inventions Of 30 centuries, can not
be classed as non-essential indus
| tries. Even If free government should
I II =
possibilities of Joy il safety pins
and frying pans were left.
We suppose there will be food
enough produced when all the news
| paper men who intend to spend their
evening years on farms acquire their
lands and start the plows.
It is said many women work in
Scotch ship yards. The Scotch wom-
en- have many peculiarities, one OF
which is they have a constitutional
objection to anything necessary for
the salvation of the country remain
ing undone If it is clearly mp to
them to grab hold.
1t is said in Austria clothing Is
getting so scarce that both men and
women regard themselves lucky to
have bathing suits to wear for
ordinary occasions. That's not bad.
We are gradually reaching a crisis
and have no bathing suit.
After the war when things get
to running right and all the excite
ment has quoted down, we hope
the allies will be able 10 find some
sort Of reasonable. euphoniOus and
unhyphenated designation for the
Czech Slovaks.
For the benefit Of one of our crit
les We will say that grille" is not
a new word. II is as ancient as the
language itself. but its use is so re-
stricted that one scarcely ever hears
It except when q nippy old widower
gets 70 making love to an old maid.
II Is now too late for the crown
prince TO talk about Germany's aims.
The allies have better aims than
Germany and have got the range as
well.