The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-10-24

washed.
Things are popping on the Cham
payne front. But fortunately the,
are all other things than corks.
BARRIERS cheer whenever they heai
that man cut his throat while shay.
ing himself
Butter is so high that person is
tickled to death to find hair in the
oleomargarine.
An Emmett girl has married man
who is so small that she is Obliged to
lift him up to kiss him.
Why Is marriage like telephoning
Because you don't always get the par
ty you want.
After Dad has helped son through
an evenings Mathematics and Latin
lessons, he is heartily in favor of
raising all school teachers salaries.
The advertisements of ladies un-
derwear in the women's magazines
make the Police Gezette look like
Sunday school journal in comparison.
4 q q
A little sneeze, loud bazoo, the in
fluenza's getting you. So 20 to bed.
the wise one said, and wrap a blanket
around your head and stay there till
old "flu' is dead.
st will be time to turn the clocks
back on Sunday" remarked Old Bill
Misgivens, land | haven't saved e.
nough daylight to buy me an over
coat"
A woman walked up to the window
in the bank with $50 check. "What
Lutheran" replied the woman. what
denomination asked the cashier.
are your"
A soldier boy writes back to his |
girl that when he returns from France
he will be able to tell her he loves her
In three different languages. 1t |
won't be necessary; she'll be salts
fled to hear it in the same old way.
Here is a letter of recommendation |
given by butcher to former EN-
ployee: "Whomsoefer is de boss:
Dear Sir;--Dis is to testify dot Hans
Snyder worked for me Won week. Ven
he left | was perfectly satisfied
A negro who had enlisted in the
cavalry, changed to the aviation corps.
When asked why he made the change,
he replied: wal, sub, fob one thing
AN airplane after 1t throws yo' out,
K very seldom walks over an bites
you"
Although only II, he had come to
ioin up,' and was in the recruiting
'ffice answering the sergeant's ques-
i, B. "Look here, my man." said the /:
&c; cant, "are you willing TO die for ,,
'cpr country?" mo, sir" he replied,
I'm jo'~ing up to make a German
lie for his"
Two fair typewriter students were
alking "lsn't II terrible the way we
ave to practice these days. said :
ne. Rather" said the other. "Why :
typed so many letters yesterday .
hat last night finished my prayers
With yours truly"
The mayor of tough border town i
vas about to engage a preacher for q
he new church. PEARSON, you aren't '
" any chance Baptist are you ?" h
Why. no f. not necessarily. Why" c
Well. | was just agoin' to say we
ave to haul our water twelve miles
A colored soldier in France had been /
cry seasick on the way over. He was
alking about the voyage when he
aid: 81 is an 'Merican culud man,
orn and bred. is United States q
itizen, but femme tell you all dat if :;
ne Atlantic ocean don't freeze over /,
r they don't build a bridge across it, \
is European niger from now on. &
A soldier, writing from France, \
avs: "When | was in one French n
,wn | saw the funniest sight | had 5
yer seen. II was an old man driving
little mule and a dog htched to- o.
ether When the French woman S
ants fresh milk, all she does is turn
round in her chair and begin milk
X the family cow" {,
. . . t.
The Hun has been forced to drop the OF
Dose step for the Foch trot :,
There is one hopeful thing about the Q
has a sense of humor. y
Then his dentist left for America, to
ass thru England, the kaiser said to
inn: IF you see my cousin George, A
lex him in the shins for me-" And in al
is address the other day the kaiser
smarked, with grin; my gallant
avy is still holding its own"
. q q
Bessie had just received bright
sw dime and was starting out to in!
est in an ice-cream soda why t.
,n't you give your money to the mis- m
onaries 7" asked the minister, who a
- calling It the house. n thought HI
Jovt that "sad bsssis. 'hst ! tha1k ! 81