The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1918-07-12
Old Glory never waived more proud

Old Glory never waived more prou(
! " than on this day-dn she swung
! "a oft in Europe tins Ith OF July over
every other flag in all creation. II
| tlkcS only "A flutter OV tn Stars al
! Stripes in France TO set up such d
demonstration as we hav never heard
So take off yer la to Old Glory I'll
next tim ye see her folds ripple!
HEARD FRUM TIL BOOSTERS ON TIL 4TH
WHATS TN matter with Brotl Ell Vanf
He's all right, Who's all righLr
Brother Van. Who says SO? We do.
Who are we? Who are, whoare who
are we? Happy Hollow! don't you
see. Rah! Rah! Rah!
Who goes tochurch? Brother K irch,
What church? Everybodys church!
What's the matter with TN Pioneerr
Its all right. What's all right? The
MelIette County Pioneer! Who says
so? Everybody! Cause why? 1t
priEts all TIN news!
What's the matter with Brother
Krieger? He's thirsty.
Where's Jarboe? On tn water wa
gon.
What's tn matter with Roads?
Dusty.
About the funniest thing that wuz
pulled of wu2 the WimmenS foot race.
You kin never tell what's likely to
happen when tn Happy Hollow VIM
men are turned loose. TIL gang wuz
all headed fer tn startin point when
TN politicians began to polly tick.
Naomi Gal Hugger wuZ tn only un.
I1,ul rto ofl IN 1, hnn ~ A
thot she shood be ruled out as it was
an old iady's race. Then after they
thot they he'd got her disposed OF they
begun on Missus Bill Palmer. "Taint
rite, as Gus seq, THAT woman Ort to
be ruled out-she is morn II hands
hi" SEQ Sister Gray Ham. Sister Tur
ner pulled off her patent feathers at
tn last minnit an run in her Stockin
feet. She wuZ jist hoen it down
when Naomi Gal Hugger past her
runnin like brush rabbit an stopt
stock still an Sez here! you amt run
nin In this married wimmens race
But Naomi kept rite on runnin an
sis Turner lost SO mutch time she
come I'm 3rd. Sister Hanna got dizzy
at SO many colors of hozsry an got side
tracked, when she got back in TIN road
agin she coOdent step fer tn wimmen
i'm her way. Sister krell gained on
Naomi like one ov Lige Gray Hams
houns on a jack rabbit an come under
tn wire ahed! Now some ov TIN vim
men are tryin to say Missus Kfell did
n't weigh enuf to Oe in that race, an
that it wuz "a fat ladies race, an she
wasn't entitled to tn prize. Q well
everbuddy can't be pleased. Tn men
folks said it wuZ tn funnyest thing
the ever seen. Msssus Bill Palmer
sez they ort 20 hav paid liberal fer
there entertainments an give tn money
30 TN Red Cross,
Winefred an Bud Turner an Buss
Graham say they will buy War Say
ing Stamps with their prize money.
Missus Brown wuz tendin to her
nitten. Missus Peterson wuz teechin
Sister Rankin to nit, an evetbuddy
wuz bizZy besides havin good time.
Things wuZ tolerabe quiet all day
till towards evenin when we herd
disturbance like a flock Of magpies
turned loose--an there wuz Wilson.
Parson Keepers is sure enuf feet
racer Him an feller with pokey
dot Shert wuZ almost a tie. Tother
teller wuZ hairs breath ahead or tn
preecher wood hay won. 1t wuZ
lite race.
Brother Van wuZ around huntin fer
The guy whitch claimed he never won
nothin i'm his life-tryin to git race
out ov him. Well we know Van is "a
winner in some things. He kin keep
his mouth shut when TIN boat rocks.
Wnen i'm doubt as to what to say
800 times i'm 1000 you'll De safer to
make a noise like an oyster.