The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1918-07-05
IN THE LIGHTER VEIN
TWILL BE A POT POURRi AND
GALA EVENT, RELY IT TWILL

1t is rumored and alleged that
Mr.. John Engineering CORPSE
Mueller has called meeting-with
j. Chairman Bode, presiding
which was to have been held be-
hind closed doors and scheduled for
Wednesday afternoon but will now
be held in the open Friday night
instead Of Saturday morning The
principal discussion will hinge on
the swinging subject of why Is
The Main ST. Bridge? or Should 1t
Be Completed During The Present
Generation" Mr.. Mueller will dis
cuss learnedly in the affirmative
Mr.. George (Himself) Gates Qn
The FLESH will, as a matter of fact,
take the negative side OF the ques-
ton. The debate is expected to be
so heated that Mr. Daniel F. Nc
Manus has been specially engaged
to Sergeant of Arms the meeting.
Discussion Number 2 will be I'M
der the titulaf caption of why
Girls Go To The Union Depot Sun
day Afternoons Mr. Lew Kluter
will lead. Advance press notices
inform us that Lew" is well vers-
ed in his subject Admission by
card only. Children under two
years of age must be accompanied
by parents.
Mr.. Omar G. He's
Lonesome) Whelan will read
carefully prepared paper on 1.-THE
Feed Man" AS an encore he Is
expected to give his humorous read
ing entitled why l Own And Con-
tinue To Operate A Buick"
Numerous organizations will be
represented, among them: The
Thinoids Clubs represented by
Messrs. John Zwissler, Clarence
Finney and Guy Gotchall. These
gentlemen will also pass the cigars
if there are any.
The Fisherman's Liar Club will
be looked after by Messrs. Henry
c. Dickinson, Edward Cooper, and
Bert Crawford.
The "Colored Citizenery" will be
responded to by Attorney Cornelius
R. Richardson who will go out
side his allotted subject long enough
to give a 4-minute dissertation on
why You Should Advertise In The
Blade"
Mr.. Lawrence Poet L. Handley
will render in an inimitable fashion
his own composition in verse form
viz "Parades l Have Successfully
Formed"
DR.. Marvel will give a correct
demonstration of Painless Extrac-
ton Of an Appendix for $4,000 His
subject will be chosen from the au-
dience.
Mr.. John Evans, Sr., will give his
florida Speech Success on "Venti-
lators" in which he will tell the
florists how to open and close their
window lights without causing
Spinal Meningitis.
DR.. Chattin's subject will be
why Dentists Should PULL To-
gether" Explanatory-The term
pull being somewhat ambiguous
we may state that it does not as
hereupon applied refer to LEG" but
to Teeth" Pronunciation Note
The G in leg is silent as in Gar
lie, and the l. as in Clam.
The Ladies must not and will not
be missing. The safe admonitions
or subjects sugg ested are:
How To Knit" or Girls. if you'll
Hooverize you'll REDUCE and
you'll find it easier to make both
ends meet" Speaker not yet an
nounced.
Our fellow colleague in the Drug
game, c. A. Harrison begged to be
relieved of the subject allotted him,
viz:-"Pills l Have Rolled" He
will, however, discuss in a clean
and sportsman like manner Base
Ball Games I've Attended"
The first part of the evenings
entertainment will conclude with
5-minute talk on THE Horrible Re-
suits of Drink" by Rev. H. S.
James. 1t is understood that an
empty bottle picked up between Ea-
ton and Richmond will be used as
one of the HORRIBLE results.
SECOND sPAsM
Following the above mentioned
the management is pleased to des-
ignate as a Lecture Chinema in
three reels To-wit: Nell OF The
Nile-Beyond Saylor st. Lies
Shorty Jessups and Why Should
The Spirits In Eaton Be Cold?" You
must surely see these smashing,
sensational successes. Three reels
of vital, absorbing drama about
things that don't count
Punctuated thru out and between
the pictures Mr.. Joseph Hooker
Mills will give his now famous
Minute Man talks on why You
Should Buy War Savings Stamps"
Mr.. Walter Tyrell, Eaton, O.,
favorite on the Stock Yards Chau-
tauqua circuit will give the lecture
and Mr. Kent Morrison. organist
De Luxe, will play the pictures.
This ever-to-be-r m m er e d
gathering will be brot to a close
by the Milkmen's Quartette who
under the tender guidance of Mr..
r. J. Haas will render very softly,
that beautiful little ditty, entitled,
Shall We've MUST! Gather
At Tie Pump"
Mr. Demas (News) Coe will COW
er the meeting reportorially
Approved and passed by the Ma
tional Automatic Tool Co., Natl Bis
Kt Co, Pure Food and Fun Act,
Chief Police German and the In
diana Board of Dissensors.
(THE END