The Robesonian., 1918-03-21
Mr., SIMPKiNS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
Bv ROBERT McBLAlR.


Mr.. Simpkins gazed at the portrait
on the wall till his eyes filled Win |
tears. 1t was a portrait OF his father' |
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times |
been promoted for valOr during the |
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field of action. Mr. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: Flrst, ne
reverenced and adored the memory Oh
his father; secondly, his age and MS
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
70 to war himself And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncomprom1s-
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkfns he saw,
in imagina ton, the KHAKI: clad laos or
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles on sea 10
fight, maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (Who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right ann up for salute.
But his gouty shoulder twinged. and he
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
Damn" said Mr.. Simpkins, and
with his other hand fercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the Ii
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to Just about $15,O 900. and he
had been rather snappy ON the sub
iect Of taxes ever since he had dfscov-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage Of 1t he
pays in taxes. He could think Of sew
eral men Who, like himself. were mar
lied and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes we're nearly
hah Of hts, they would pay only a
small fraction Of the amount he paid.
He g1oom1y drew tho blank nearer
and began filing in the Information
that 1t asked for.
AS Mr.. S1mpkins' income was SIS, 900
ne had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes Of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes. that is, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
lied men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay 2 per cent funder
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000, deducting $500 for each Of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpkins' case this was 1912, which he
put down in the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional 2
per cent. ON all over $2,O0O-with the
same allowance for children. This
added $252 to his payable" column.
He theo observed that for every
$500 jump In his income over 5000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
i growing larger With each tump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden
And on top Of all this eanne an "Eh.
oess Profits tax a s per cent. On al
"occupation' income oter $1,000, maxi
I
Ing $720 more.
The tptal, then, he must pay vas Anur
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whewr' exclaimed Mr.. Simpkin1
angriiy. There's young Henry VII
kins, who married Jake Jofrnsm's giri
he makes $1,000 ana he doesn't pay 6
cent OF taxes. L guess this is his wal
as well as n1ine!'
Thinking OF young Henry wilkins
he remembered that Mrs Wilkins wen
every afternoon to make handages 70,
the Red Cross and that Henry, wht
was lawyer. was aiding the Loca
Draft Board With its questtnnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself
'that makes q difference"
He thought next 0 Judge Wfllou1h
BY, whose income was about $1,000.
"He only pays $2O." commented M,
Simpkins, not quite 50 anxrily thi
time; and then a tfou9ht struck hin
and he sat up rfgtdiy In his chair.
Judge Wflloughby's son had bees
drowned on the Tuscania when it wa
summarized with the loss Of two hun
dred soldiers.
"Judge Willonghby gave his son Il
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkfns.
De leaned forward suddenly and pu
his face in hts hands.
For a hong time Mr. Simpkins ga
very still tn that position. There wa
no sound IN the library except tn
ticking Of the tail clock and an occa
sional trfll of laughter from the Chi
dren skylarkfng upstairs. The SONAR
Of light on the carpet gradually witt
drew itself through the window. an
first twilight and then darkness settle
tn about the quiet, white haired some
, times rascible old man.
MI. Simpkins was thinking thing
which he would never afteaward spea
: or he was thinking things that ver
too sacred ever to be put into word.
I But so1ne ink1ing of his thoughts ma
hQ fn11n6 m h{c LS %S