The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1918-01-19
IOWA MANS SATIRE ON KAISER
WILHELM.


and Envoy Extraordinary of Al
mighty God:
! My Dear WilhelmI can call
/ you by that familiar name for have
| always been very close to you, much
closer than you could ever know.
From the time that you were vet
/ an undevelOped being in your moth
er's womb 1 have shaped your destiny
for my own purpose.
In the days of Rome I created a
roughneck known IN history as Nero
ne was vulgar character and suited
ny purpose at that particular time.
N these modern days of a classic de-
non, an efficient supernatural was
needed, and as I know the Hohenzol-
iern blood, l picked you as my spe-
clai instrument to place on earth an
2nenX OF he'll. I gave you abnormal
ambition likewise an over supply of
egotlSm that you might not discover
your own failings; l twisted your
mind to that of 4 mad man with GER
tain normal tendencies to carry YOU
oy, most dangerous character
placed IN power; I gave you the DOW
er OF hypnotist and a certain mag
netlc force that you might sway your
reople- ! am responsible for the de-
formed arm that hangs helpless on
your left, for your crippled condition
embltterS your life and DESTROYS all
noble impulses that might otherwise
cause me anxiety, but your strong
sword arm is driven by your ambi-
ton that squelches all sentiment and
1ieUy; / placed II your soul a deep
hatred for all things English, for of
all nations on earth l hate England
most; whenever England plants her
flag she brings order out to chaos
md the hated Cross follows the In
ion Jack: under her rule wild tribes
become tillers of the soil and in due
time practical citizens; she is the
great civilizer of the globe and I
HATE HER. I planted in your soul
4 cruel hatred for your mother be-
cause SHE was English and left nv
good friend Bismarck to fan the
flame l had kindled Recent history
proves how well our work was done.
| broke your royal mothers heart.
but l gained nay purpose.
The inherited disease of the Ho-
henzollerns killed your father, Just a
1t will kill you, and you became the
ruler OF Germany, and a tool of mine
sooner than expected.
ITO assist you and further hasten
nay work, l sent you three evil spirits,
NIetzche, Treitschlzle and later Bern
hardI, whose teachings inflamed the
youths of Germany, who in good time
would be willing and loyal subjects
and eager to spill their blood and pull
your chestnuts, yours and mine; the
spell has been perfect-you cast your
ambitious eyes toward the Mediter-
ranean, Egypt, India and the Darda-
neIles, and you began your great rail
way to Bagdad, but the ambitious
2rchduke and his more ambitious
-lfe stood in your way. It was then
that l sOwed the seed in your heart
that blOssOmed into assassination of
the duke and his wife, and all hell
smiled when it saw how lovely YOU
saddled the crime on to Serbia. 7
saw your set sails for the fiords of
Norway and knew you would prove
IN abb. How cleverly done, so much /
ike your grandfather, who also Sc
cured an assassin to remove old King
Frederick of Denmark, and later
robbed that country of two provinces
that gave Germany an opportunity
70 become naval power. Murder is /
dirty work, but it takes a HohenzoI- !
sern to make away and get by.
Your opportunity was at hand /
you set the world on fire and the bells /
OF hell were ringing; your rape on 1
EeIglum caused much joy, it was the /
beginning, the foundation 70 a per
feet hell on earth, the destruction of 1
noble cathedrals and other infinite /
sTOrks Of art was hailed with Joy in /.
the internal regions. You made war /
on friends and foe alike and the muir
der of civilians showed nv TEACHINGS /
had borne fruit. Your treachery to- |
ward neutral nations fastened a uni /
9-s-l upheaval, the thing I most de- I
sired Your undersea warfare is a 4
Easter stroke from the smallest mac |
Serel pot to the great Lusitania, you /
showed no favorites; as a war lord 4
you stand supreme, for you have no 4
mercy; you have no consideration for
The baby clinging to its mothers |
breast, as they both go down into /
The deep together, only to be torn 1
mart and leisurely devoured by /
sharks down among the corals
q have strolled over the battle
fields of Belgium and France. [ have
seen your hand of destruction every
there: it's all your work, super-fend
hat L made you. I have seen the
IeIdS of Poland; now wilderness fit
Tor proving beats only; no merry
children in Poland now; they all sue
eumbed to frost and starvation-I
trlfted down unto Galicia where for
nerly Jews and Gentiles lived hap
tIy together; found but ruins and
ashes; l felt a curious pride in nv
'oul for it was all above my expecta-
ION l was in Belgium when YOU
rove the peaceful population before
-Ou Ike cattle into slavery; you sep
-ratd man and wife and forced them
o hard labor IN the trenches 1 have
cen the most fendish rape commit
ed on young women and those who
we're forced into maternity were ours
ng the father of their offspring and
began TO doubt if my own inferno
vas really up to date.
You have taken millions of dol
7rs from innocent victims and called =
indemnity you have lived fat on
he land you usurped and sent the {
cal owners away to starvation. You ,
ave strayed away from all legalized /,
Tar methods and introduced a code
I your own. You have killed and 2
obbed the people of friendly nations
nd destroyed their property. You
re a liar, hypocrite and a buffer {
the highest magnitude. You are
part OF mine and yet you pose as a
ersonal friend of God. All, Wilhelm
GU are wonder. You wantonly de- :