The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-02-12

not enforce it, and, to illustrated,
asked them:
How man legs will a sheep have
if you call a tail a leg?" They an
swered, Five" you are mistaken"
said Lincoln, for calling a tail leg
don't make it So" and that exhibited
the fa.lacy of their position more than
twenty syllogisms.
There was an ignorant man who
once applied to Mr.. Lincoln for the
post of doorkeeper to the house. This
man had no right to ask Lincoln for
anything. 1t was necessary to repulse
him. But Lincoln repulsed him gently
and whimsically, without hurting his
feelings, in this way:
so you want to be doorkeeper at
the house, eh?"
Yes, Mr.. President -
well, have you ever been a door
keeper? Have you ever had any ex-
per;ence of BOOKKEEPING"
.Umph-no."
"Have you ever attended lectures
on BOOKKEEPING?
mo, SIR
Have you ever read any text on
the subject?''
mo"
Have you ever conversed with
anyone who has read such a book?"
mo, sir, I'm afraid not, sir
well, then, my friend, don't you
see that you haven't a single qualifi-
cation for this important post?" said
Lincoln in a reproachful tone.
Yes, do said the applicant
and he took leave humbly, almost
gratefully. --
A western senator who had Nailed
of reelection brought his successor
one day and introduced him to the
ed his qualification at making the
acquaintance of a new senator. yet"
he added, Il hate to have old friends
like Senator W go away. And
another thing-I usually find that a
senator or representative out of bust
ness is a sort of lame duck. He has
to be provided for When, the two
gentlemen had withdrawn L took the
liberty Of saying that Mr. W did
not seem to relish this remark. Weeks
after. when I had forgotten the cir
cumstance, the president said, You
thought / was rude to Senator W
the other day. Well, now he wants
Commissioner Dole's place!" Mr.
Dole was then commissioner of Indian
affairs.
soon after the opening of congress
the Hon. Mr.. Shannon made the Gus
tomary CALI writes Carpenter. the
artist, "at the White House. In the
conversation that ensued Mr.. Shannon
said. Mr.. President, I met an old
friend of yours in California last sum-
mer. a Mr.. Campbell, who had a good
deal to say about your Springfield
life Ah,' returned Mr.. Lincoln, L
am glad to hear of him. Campbell
used to be a dry fellow in those days,
he continued. For time he was sec
rotary of state. One day during the
legislative vacation meek, cadaver-
ous-looking man, with a white neck
cloth, introduced himself to him at
his office, and stating that he had
been informed that Mr.. c. had the
letting of the hall Of representatives,
he wished to secure it, IL possible, for
a course of lectures he desired to de-
liver in Springfield. May ask" said
the secretary. what is to be the SUBJ
ject of your lecture Certainly, was
Rthe reply, with very solemn express
sion of countenance. The course l
wish to deliver Is on the second COM
ing of our Lord 1T is of no USE
said c.: if you will take my advice,
you will not waste your time in this
city. 1t is my private opinion, if the
Lord has been in Springfield once, he
will never come the second timer
A telegram from Philadelphia was
once received, setting forth that some
one had been arrested there for OBJ
tanning 81 500. on Mr.. Lincoln's name.
What" said Mr. Lincoln. Fifteen.
hundred dollars on my namei have
given no one authority for such
draft. and il I had" he added, half