The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-08-22

that there shall be no peace until the
kaiser and his hordes of fiendish hell
hounds are beaten to their knees and
have submitted and become subser-
Went to the power that has the right
to dictate terms Anything less than
this is unworthy of lis as a nation.
in no other way can we secure lasting
peace.
A party came to me asking how he
could learn to be poet. Said he felt
| that he could succeed as pDet-1
asked him what his symptoms were
and how often the attacks occurred
and how long they lasted-after he
as something else and told him to for
get it. Told him that poets were a
drug on the market (since the war
broke OUT and that he would probab-
ly last bit longer in some more use
lul position. That the pay was small
and that people had about the same
respect for poet that they had for a
dog suffcrin' with dclirium tremens.
Told him. that poets were born that
way and couldn't help it. AS All awful
example l pointed to myself. He
seemed sadly discouraged but ap-
peared satisfied and said to ME II
thank you, kind friend, for those
words, / am sadly disappointed, but
since scein' you and hearing you talk,
| feel that have been saved from
an awful fate In parting, l wrote
this on slip of paper and told him
to keep it always:
My sympathy here extend
To the embryonic poet
Who seeks Twin by his pen /
He's fool and doesn't know it.
An item in a recent issue of the K.
c. Times says-On account of the
high price of mems clothing it's prop
er to calle,em trousers as there are no |
pants" on the market. Mebbe so,-|
for down our way (this hot .spelD |
pants" have disappeared from the |
market (also from nearly everybody |
else.
A party whose head is filled with
the same sort of stuff you find on the
inside of balloon has insinuated that
am my own best press agent. Well,
placed Sunbeams on the market.
They have proved to be dependable,
so why not advertise. The poor,
orainless dolt, but then, after all, he is
only one of a multitude of incom-
,etents who are runnin' around loose.
Some one has suggested that our
soldiers petrify the Huns by squirtin'
on them. l was goin' to sug-
yest that the boys. paralyze 'em by
quirtin' EN- full of 5000 bullets, but
N lookin' the paper over t'other day
notice that's just what they are
loin'.
My first clerical work was in big
,rocery store in a northern city.
eckon l was the worst that ever hap
ened. Green? Well listen-the boss !
must have thought he saw the max
1gs in me for he was very patient
ut didn't seem to improve-I went
we'll never mind) that's a different
one day when had
exed him more than usual by my
lundering he blew up" and precise
: at that minute some one entered
le store and said to him, What
ave you in green stuff today" The
oss (still angry whirled around and
ointed his finger at me and replied
} the customer, "Nothing-except
lat $500 clerk over there"
Germany is a great manufacturing
,untry. Yes, they make guns, am e;
unition, all sorts of toys, machines, W
c. And by golly, it looks to me
&c they must have a plant some
here that is making-manufactu
or turning out Germans from the
mount of them that they are still
lie to muster.
From the Chicago Daily News st
OCCASIONALLY a truthful man goes ii
;hing. Yes, and he usually comes b.
Ick a wilful perverter of the truth. al
$50 occasionally an honest man is to
ected to office and? m
You know I just hate to have to e:
It on corset, but am getting so ri