The Washington herald., 1918-07-30
b. DMc

New York, July 2s.-A young man
slightly over medium height, and
slightly under medium intelligence
and less than slightly interested in
the traffic activities Of the Metrop-
oils transformed broadway and
Forty-second street into a bowling
intersection the other afternoon.
At 2 o'clock he strolled into the
big lane and in ten minutes he had
collected the largest herd of crag-
leaping goats ever corralled in q
large city. All that is known OF the
young man was learned by four po-
licemen who spoke hoarsely to him
when the time had come for hoarse
words.
He is apparently a hornet trainer.
is extremely fastidious about his
nails and is awaiting with calm
patience to be called into the ma
tional army. He was first discover
ed standing in the middle of the
southbound surface tracks. He was
merely polishing his nails.
Cars stopped going south. riIe
motormen wished to know by word
of mouth what was the big idea.
The young man stepped to the north
bound tracks and continued to pol
ish his nails, Cars proceeded to
gather on either set of rails and a
west-bound wagon and east-bound
automobile added to the pressure
surrounding the self-made mani
curist.
Persons of all creeds, shades, tints.
colors and degrees of haste looked
at the young man and at each other
and inquired what the matter was
Finally one Christopher Columbus
shouted out loud: BY links, he's
cleaning his nails."'
Some one blew q police whistle
finally and four policemen who were
waiting to respond at the first twcet
did so. The police hustled the young
man across the street and considered
carefully what was to De done with
him. Some favored shooting him
on the spot but better judgment
ruled.
He was searched for his ragistra-
tion card. It was found and he was
allowed to go-industriously apply
ing the nail buffer as he ambled out
OF sight He must be a great help
to his folks" said one officer re-
turning to his post.
He lived in a boarding house in
the West Forties. close to his work
so he could save carfare. He made
80 week as a ribbon clerk-a Job
that is the butt of all vaudeville
jokes. Around the dining table he
was tolerated indifferently.
And now the word comes back
from over there that this dapper
little ribbon clerk. turned soldier.
has been fighting like a bearcat at
the front and has been wounded
twice. Perhaps the long-repressed
fury. engendered by the bullying
and batting of feminine shoppers.
was joyfully outspanned upon Hun.
At any rate there is a service nag
with one star outside the boarding
house. Not one of the other board
ers is in the service. They talk
about him every evening now out
on the front stoop. He is a hero.
Some say the English are devoid
Of sense of humor. But listen to
this. An English actor at the
Lambs met an acquaintance in the
foyer.
now are you. old oear! ne IN
Quired.
1t was the morning after a bad
night and the other walled: y feel
like thirty cents"
Most extraordinary, really.
how prices are going UP since the
war" And the telephone girl
dropped out of her chair with
laughter.
II
Joe welch. the Hebrew comedian,
was buried the other day. He had
been doing his monologue in vaude-
Vile for thirty years. Tony Pastor
discovered him in a beer hall over
on the East Side. While welch was
a comedian. there was a touch OF
pathos in his delineation of the East
Side Hebrew that was as artistic as
David Warfield in his best moments
He was the first to bring the East
Side Jew to Broadway. Many Others
have initiated him. but all were sad
efforts in comparison.