Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-07-23
THE CHAFFINC DISH
The Mystery Solvedl
A Letter From Hindenburg
nEAR SOCRATES:

/ IEAH SOCfAlES.
~ You about writing my epitaph 40
jolly have been, and me SO companionable
send-off have given, that 1t seems only
fair you of to tip, and about my move-
ments you wise to put.
Bill and talked things over pretty fully
when Pershing on the Marne arrived. We
decided that since the Allies would not
play fair but had SO brutally called in
Devil Dogs and Boys Of Dough to make
this war horrible artists in destruction like
ourselves no longer could take a hand in
it. Bill as you know has quite a touch
for epigram. He said to me, while Ludy
was busy with some Devil Dogs near
Chateau-Thierry. Let us while the going
good is, CO." So we that Ludy might take
the chief command up-framed It, and I a
getaway made. Poor Ludy! He is a nice
fellow, but he will some bumps be riding
sees!
Well, Socrates. I am on my way to st.
Helena to fix things up SO that Bill and
L can live in decent comfort when he
arrives.
We shall the island st. Kultur rename.
and we will not have much from homesick.
ness to suffer. In fact, think we will be
able to have our little bit Of frightfulness in
quiet way. OF course, it will not be the
real thing, but then fellows like Bill and
I, who such advantages in that way have
had, must now be content things bit easy
to take, and let others their fling have.
Personally, I don't want to stand around
while those Dogs of the Devil are blowing
Bull Durham smoke down Inter den Lin.
den.
Now must tell you what we plan to do
the island habitable to make for Prussians
OF high class 1t is a quite large island,
as you know, and there will be space for
all sorts of amusements such as we are
accustomed to. First Of ALL and most i'm
portant, we shall on one side Of st. Helena
a dummy village lay out, which we shall
call Paris. Our first care will be to see
that great number Of baby carriages
about the streets are scattered. Then.
hiding behind a hill, Bill and I will get
exercise. valuable for mind and body, in
throwing bombs over the village, with
especial aim for some imitation Red Cross
hospitals l shall mark plainly.
Throughout the country in the interior
of the island, various repicas of cathedrals
will be placed. Dear old Bill! Can't YOU
see him taking a pot shot at them every
now and then. when he feels in the mood?
With such excellent sport. how can he miss
his old home? And If he should ever a bit
downhearted feel, we shall have model of
the Lusitania off the shore anchored, with
torpedo to fire at her, and lot Of dunn
mics made up to represent American
women and children on the deck. And I
have another brilliant idea had: am writ.
ing to the moving picture actor who took
the part Of Mr. Gerard in the photo play,
and we will get him to come and live on the
island in his Gerard costume. When Bill
his peevish fits has, we will Gerard out
take and throw turnips at him. I can
nothing devise that will Bill in such high
spirits put.
OF course We shall few acres set apart
for model Belgium, where little looting
and burning and other stunts can be per.
formed, and few tons Of paper scraps
will be kept in our farmhouse for Bill on
rainy days to tear up. We shall a kind
of bonneville Trolley lay out, which we
Berlin-to. .Bagdad Pan-German Eisenbahn
will call. And, Of course, we shall have to
persuade some Of the inhabitants the part
of Bolsheviks to take, when amusement is
slow. We can lots of good sport have by
Erest-Litovsk treaties devising.
Best Of all, as Bill said to me just as
left, there will be no Crown Princes, no
Hardens. no Hertlngs and no Lichnow.
skis. Naturally Rosner will come. along to
take little dictation. And every evening
over to our imitation Paris we shall walk
and dinner will for us in the Louvre be
waiting. Ach Knabe!
Perhaps when Rosner is not busy taking
dictation he will to find time able be you
for your Chatting Dish some stuff to send
You can, if you like. send us some read
ing matter, but please no volumes Of Dr.
President Wilson's speeches. Some one
put volume OF them in Bills pyjamas the
other day, for joke, and he terrible
had Inc