davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
THE EVENING SMILE.
PLENTY OF CREDIT.

Mr. Butterworth, the grocer, was look
ing over the credit sales slips one day.
Suddenly he called To the new clerk:
Did YOU give George Callahan credit
sure. said the clerk. Il
Didn't tell you to get q report on any
and every man asking for credit p
Why, did, retorted the clerk, who
Was an earnest young fellow. Il did get
a report. The agency SAID he owed
money To every grocer IN town, and, OF
course, if his credit was that good | knew
that you would like to have him open
an account here Rchoboth Herald.
"Hi, Bill ! Here comes a gas wave -
Thank heavens This toothaches al
most KILN me Cartoons Magazine
Teacher why should man try
to love everybody - Johnnie Cause
he might want 10 run for Office. FLORIDA
Times-Union.
"Schwab says all our property will BE-
taken away from Us by the workers.
They'll have to hurry to get ahead
of the government Life
''Of course, we have family skeleton
We'll, let's trot it out. Ii will be a credit
to us now Shows we are not over
eating. - Kansas City Journal.
Wise Guy ''When a single woman
believes in practicing economy she hus-
bands her means" The Really Wise
"And when a married woman believes
that economy should be praeticed she
means her husband. - Judge.
'fWhen an actor gets used to the spot
light, I dare say he feels uncomfortable
without ii E" "Oh, yes. Particularly il
the spotlight happens To rest on some
other members Of his company That
makes him feel desolate Birmingham
Age Herald
lawyer What vas he arrested for?''
Mike The toli me 1t the station that
he tosIh one too much. Lawyer To
much or too many Mike What Is the
difference" Lawyer lntcAlcation or
bipqnly Life
whats your idea oi the difference be
tween a statesman and a demagogue?'
'Well replied Senator Sorghum, "a
Statesman tries to lead the people \
dcmagoguc raises holler and tries 20
stampede them Washington star
Gosh Billings said he WIS ~ honest
man because Jail life didn't agree with
him That was franl., WASH it, No,
il was Josh. Never heard Of Frank Bill
lnCs Boston Transcript.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
POLITICAL POWER.

Both Republicans and Democrats real
ized that the Woman's Party, the young
est and most vigorous wing OF the sui
fragists, had already shown their stcneth
in the equal suffrage States, and that they
were ready again to 20 into the election
armed with far more powerful ammuni-
ton and to oppose the party IN power
if the amendment were not passed. The
Republicans saw party capital IN that
attitude, AS their leaders frankly asserted
The Democrats saw great danger to Their
control Of the House and even Of the
senate Twice over the Woman's Party,
or the Congressional Union. ITS prcdeces-
sor, campaigncd in the Western states
The second time its appeal was only
foiled by the assertion that the Demo
Gratis were The friends Of equal suffrage
That assertion could not possibly ht
made "a serve again. and either the
Democrats had to make good or TO suffer
defeat in the States where women vote.
Hartford Conn Globe, January Is.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
RIPPLING RHYMES.
By Walt Mason.
CUTTING OUT WASTE.

called nv dog, az he passed by,
. aud for an hour harangued him,
explaining why he had to die, and
then | drowned and hanged him.
lie saw the point of nv remarks,
. and wagged his tail, forgivIng; he
hcaved q pair of friendly barks,
. and discontinued living. The grub
old Towser daily ate would keep
soldier feeding; and Towser
couldn't pull his freight for France
and do some bleeding. We're
pampering ten million pups, in this,
: our wasteful nation; and still. above
our coffee cups, We talk Of con-
servation had nine cats, as tlne
) a. silk, Maltese, Angora critters;
and every day they Tapped up milk
! and mewed for meat and frltters.
! This morning when they q had
: their lunch-On liverwurst | fed
! them-I formally addressed the
bunch, and said | must behead
! them. | pointed out in ringing
terms that pampered cats are SIN
: ful, when many weary soldier
squIrms because he lacks q skin
. full The kittens saw that | was
right. that feeding them was folly;
: they mewed lingering good night,
. and then went of their trolley.
Alas. | find it very hard my divers
pets to slaughter; upon their graves
in my back yard my eyes are she'd
ding water But better that some
soldier feasts and fills his waistllne
fiabby, than feed boiled eggs 10
lazy beasts, to Towser or 20 Gabby.
- = - ~ - - - - ? - -
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
JUST FOLKS
By Edgar A. Guest.
THEY ARE DYING FOR THE FLAG

They are dying for the Flag
Down in ocean caverns deep
Under many n foreign crag
Sons of ours have gone to sleep.
For the right and for the truth
They are dying day by day.
Death is claiming now our youth,
Still we spend our hours IN play.
Put the selfish pleasures 10y !
Nothing matters now save tins,
For the flag our bravest die,
Pass without farewell kiss
Death's grim list each morning grows
With the names Of heroes true
And each day new line goes
To the work they died 70 do.
Can you longer sit At ease
Have not now your hearts been stirred
Arc you deaf to moaning seas
DO the cables bring no word
That can rouse you To Your task
VIII YOU longer idly lag
And in Pleasures Valley bask :
They are dying for the Flag
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
STOP CATARRH! OPEN
k0STRILS AND HEAD
Says Creau Applied in Nostrils
Relieves Head Colds at Once.

Ii your nostrils are clogged and your
head is stuffed and you can't breathe
freely because of a cold or catarrh, Just
get a small bottle of Ely's Cream Balm
at any drug store. Apply little OF
this fragrant, antiseptic cream into
your nostrils and let It penetrate
through every air passage Of your head,
soothing and healing the ipasmed, swol-
len mucous membrane and you get in
slant relief.
All! how good it feels. Your nos
trils are open, your head is clear, no
more hawking, snuffiing, blowing; no
more headache, dryness CT struggling
for breath. Ely Cream Balm IS just
what sufferers from head colds and ca
tarrh need. It's delight.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
MEETINGS TONIGHT.

Apache Tribe, No 81.
Olive Temple, l.. @. f.
Wenonah Lodge, $. Of II.
Liberty Conclave, S. w NJ.
Nest No 1895, Order Of Owls.
Mechanics Lodge, |. O. O. +.
Lenape Tribe, Imp'd. o. II. NJ.
Sheet Metal Workers Ass2Ciation.
james Young Conclave, H. or ;. ". NJ
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

that of Bryan's million men" Farm
labor is scartc, the need is great and the
time is short IL is time for people
and officials to awaken To the situation,
for never has the food situation been SO
serious as now And it will bc more
serious tomorrow Wall Street Journal.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

The administration has made provision
for war honors to be bestowed upon our
soldiers for distinguished service. This is
al right While we want no titles Of nobii-
ity in this country, there is no reason Why
military merit should not bc recognized
and appropriately rewarded
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
Now in Radio Service

Albert J. Pyle, former member Of the
staa of Every Evening, who enlisted IN
the navy rs a musician, has since passed
n highly credltable examination rs
radio operator and is now assigned to
duty at Hampton Roads
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

Tor three days the Kaiser has referred
to The Deity IN official utterances. Sort
Of makes one wonder If lac isn't getting
afraid of his Satanic master, King Me-
phistophcles
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
MiIIer's AntiseptiC OIL known as
Oil
Will Positively Relieve Pain in Few
Minutes.

Try il right now for rheumatism, neu
ralria, lumbago, sore, stiff and swollen
Joints, pains in the head, back and limbs,
corns, bunions, &c After one application
pain disappears almost as if by magic.
A new remedy used internally and ex-
ternally for coughs, colds, Group, sore
throat, diphtheria and tonsilitls.
This oil is conceded 10 be the most pene-
trating remedy known Its prompt and
immediate effect in relieving pain is due
to the fact that it penetrates TO the affect
ed parts at once As an illustration, pour
10 drops on the thickest piece OF sole
leather and it will penetrate this sub
| stance through and through In three
minutes.
Accept no substitutes. This great oil is
| golden red color only. Every bottle guar
anteed; Soc, 60c and sl,00 bottle, o.
money refunded at Eckerd's Drug Store
| sos Market street
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

About tic best thing We have heard
recently is that the Kaisers property
in this country i to be sold under the
hammer And what's more to the pur-
pose, hc won't get the money
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
DIN pont Building Work

steel erection for the addition to tue
Hotel du Pont has been suspended for a
week because the erectors are far ahead
of the rivetcrs. 4 large quantity oi
steel is ready for delivery
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

The Hun gentry have raided London
again with airplanes- And yet some Of
our altruista say that We have no quar-
ri with the German people themselves
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09

News dispatches tell ot five American
soldiers accounting tor tcus sGermans.
~ ell, who expected anything else
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-09
f,,su'af'Sn fvsn,nf %este1day euf5y 1447O

Member of the Associated Press
The Associated Press rs exclusively entitled
TO the use Tor republication OF hii news
dispatches credited To II or not otherwise
credited in this paper.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
BY Brice Belden, n. D.


A soon as the ii 1t symptoms
n OF q cold appear. such as
~ sneezing. chiIiiness and
cough, an adult should take
five grains Of sAlicylate OF ammon-
ium, in a capsule, every four hours.
Some water-about half a tumbler-
ful-should be taken at the same
time. This drug will Rmeliorate the
the symptoms considerably, even II
II does not shorten the course OF
the cold. Moreover, It Is free from
the depressing and even dangerous
effects Of many nostrums, none OF
which should be used by the public.
1t goes without saying that II
there is more than a simple cold
to deal with; in other words, II
there is bronchitis or grip, a ply
slcian must be consulted, for his
counsel may ward OF pneumonia, o.
his examination detect beginning
signs Of that disease.
The slightest signs OF ear trouble
In the course of|a cold should also
call for medical advice and super
vision, for disease OF the middle ear
very often results from Infection
by way OF the nasal passages. In
this connection q word Of warning
is in order regarding the prevail
ing fashion Of blowing the nose,
which directly invites Infection OF
the ear. The nose should be blown
gently, with the mouth open, and
the nostrils should not be com
pressed by the handkerchief and
fingers. Hold the handkerchief un-
der and over the nose, rather loose
ly.
When sneezing or coughing hold
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Treatment of Colds
Health Expert Says First Symptoms
of Cold Should Be Given
Careful Treatment

the handkerchief over the mouth
and nose to prevent the dissemina-
tlon OF infectious germs
II slight fever appears, take half
a teaspoonful Of arc natic spirits Of
ammonia and half a teaspooniul OF
sweet spirits OF mixer. in half :
tumblerful OF water, every thrs~
hours until four doses have been
taken
For stopping up OF the nose use
q little carboIized yaseline, Of =
strength OF 1 per cent
A hot mustard foot bath should
be taken at night. and pair Of
wooden socks worn in bed. Perspir-
alton should be encouraged BY
heavy coverings. A seidiitz powder
should be taken each morning be-
fore breakfast
II there Is a persistent cough.
with expectoration. teaspoonful
doses OF the syrup OF the hypophos-
phite Of ammonium should be TAX
en- every two hours. Warm inhala-
tions of the vapor from a Group
kettle, to which a teaspoonfuI Of
the compound tincture OF benzoln
should be added. will also give re-
lief.
The chest may be painted, II
there Is soreness or pain, with COM
pound tincture OF iodine, or rubbed
with equal paDts OF spirits OF tur-
pentine and compound soap linl-
ment
In a simple cold the diet Is best
not restricted, as vitality might b
lowered and complications favored
Alcohol in any form should not b
taken, as 1t always lowers resiSt-
ance.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
When a Girl Marries
A STORY OF EARLY Welded LIFE
Anne Gets a Telegram From Tom
Mason and Tries to Tell
Jim About 1t.

girl who will not be as good Venice
as you. Greetings to you and Jim"
Mechanically l began to count
the words-just fifty! smileu at
myself for that, and actually
laughed in relief. How matter Of
fact Mr.. Mason was about the robe
His attitude made me realize as he
looked on the whole episode cas-
uGily-as Jim did.
! had the telegram in my hand
when 1 went to the door at the first
click of Jim's latch key. I could
greet Captain Winston without any
attempts at "finessen 1 did so like
the big, blonde EnglishmAn, and /
was so sure OF his honest friend
ship for my boy and his kindly re-
gard for that boys wife.
Betty popped in from the kitchen
and l felt Captain Winston's hand
tighten suddenly over mine as che
came into the room. Red stained
his bronEed face.
"Jove. Betty, you look wonder
ful doing the domestic" he cried.
Like Hebs or one OF those ladies
from Mt. Olympus. AS II she'd be
a good wife for a poor man; doesn't
she now, Mrs. Jimmier'
yes, l EGsped mlserably. he
and Jim were both lost IN admirz-
tion OF Betty In my pink apron
and my dull little gray silk dress
and white "houssEsid'S apron" now
seemed as dinGy as . November sky.
"Jim. what ala you do with the
package?" I asked, seeking for an
opening through which 10 Introduce
the subject Of the telegram.
"Oh, dropped It at his house." re-
piled my husband oerelessly, Din
ner ready, glrls9"
"In a minute, dsSr-hrst I want
TO tell you" began aRain.
Come on, chef. the coffee Is cal
ing you. I'm starved and ] know
these masculine persons will get
savage II we don't feed EN-, and !
don't trust my touch On that lus-
cious roast" interrupted Betty
tucking her arm through mine and
impeIling me kitcAeuwsrd.
And as I reached the door lifted
my hand and tucked Tom hAson's
telegram into the bosom Of my
dress.
To Ne Continued.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Women Who
"Put OFF,
By Loretto G. Lynch,

rTA DOZEN times have
VA meant to have a key
IN made for that door. but
somehow or other. L
Just don't seem to get to it," re-
marked a women who was al
ways going to but never did It
made me think OF speech re-
Gently made to officers graduating
from q training camp. The man
who made the address was vet
eran hero. The main point he
brought out was the fact that in
the long run it was much better to
go ahead even IL one made a mis-
take than to become a slave TO
procrastination-
often we hear one say that she
never bothers with details. She
prides herself that this autom2ti-
cally makes her "broad-minded-"
Yet all life is a series OF small de-
tails and until one has served an
apprenticeship at detail he or she
has not developed the power to
conceive situations in the big"
Your house seems to run along
so smoothly" remarked a dis
couraged housewife to her neigh
Dor. You never seem to have to
have a general upheayal and re-
pairing like l do"
But Just what was the secret OF
the first women'S success? She
had q little pad and pencil and as
she thought OF them she jotted
down various items. Sometimes
her list ran something like this:
Get new latch key.
Darn bedroom curtain.
See that Mrs. B. returns umbrella
and raincoat. .
Arrange washing machine dem
onstration.
Phone express company.
Pack box for ]. in base hospital
AS each thing was acc Implished
she crossed 1t on.
How often have we noticed the
remorse OF a woman who was 60
ing to but didn't. have in mind a
woman whose nephew was confined
to a military base hospital. She
had raised this boy. She was good
hearted, had good Intentions. but
she was an arch-procrastinator
She always was going to" send
him a box of delicacies. She ain
tended" to write him tomorrow.
But days and days passed and she
just didn't get to II and then the
day came when he passed away.
Who knows what longings and un-
necessary heartache this woman's
procrastinatiOn caused that poor
soldier boy.
Two hundred times to my knowl-
edge she has made up her mind to
quit her adversary and ask the law
to give her freedom But she puts
It of.
We'll. maybe tomorrow don't
know-well. l don't want to start
into work just yet, and" This is
the kind OF procrastinator who is
q torment to the women OF her
neighhnrhood. She either bad no
mIn6 her own OF, II she has, she
proc stinates after deciding.
PrDCrastlnation Is disease. One
should not decide gu ckly nor
without due consideration on any
course OF action. but even II you
do make a mistake once in a while.
don't please don't, be a procras-
tinAtor.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Advice to the LOyelOrn

waiting such an interminablo
time. and when she was siek
was faithful to her. Asked -
release me from my promise.
she now claims she loves ne
and will wait TIL I come back
and will marry me then, regard
less Of my condition II she
were sincere do you not think
she would consent to make me
happy nowG
This young lady has shown .
certain capricIous quality. accord
ing to your account OF her conduct.
and I doubt II she possesses the
Necessary qualities for making yoo
happy. Al sns declines to marry
you before you sail for Francs
there Is really nothing to be done
but to make the est Of the situa-
tion. Perhaps she may reIsnt a
the last moment, as so many girls
have done.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Would Like to Take Her to
the Theater.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAN:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
While on a weekend az .
summer hotel met q very
charming young lady. whom
learned to care for very much:
also met her mother and
father. have found out -whsrs
she lives, and 1 am wrtt5Fg to
ask you IL you, think II Would
be proper for me to invite her
to sec a play some evening. also
how to Ngo about 1t. as / an
very backward In social mat
terA N. T..
II would be quite proper for you
to invite the young lady to go TO
the theater, particularly as you
have met her mother and father.
Write her a little note and ask her
what play she would like to see.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Puss in Boots
Jr.
II. d.
By David Cory.

VVJAKE up! Wake upi and
w A. ','a :@. your ToS a'"'i n.rrny
along. "
Above the meadow sings the lark
So let US sing aboard the Ark
There goes the weathercock," :"
eooed the Dove, flying over TO the
port hole and looking out over the
bright blue ocean.
'TelI him I'll get up IN minute"
yawned Puss Junior.
So the Dove, who slept In Puss
Juniors cabin In q pretty gilt cage,
spoke to the, weathercock, after
which she commenced to sing:
there's q robin in the woodland
There's q robin In the sea,
But they are just as different
As different can be.
THE one that's IN the forest
Has feathers and a tail;
The one that's in the ocean
Has q scaIy coat OF mail
aThe Robin in the forest
Could never take a swim;
The robin OF the ocean
Could never fly or skim
Across the grassy meadow,
Nor fly UP in a tree
But he can do all kinds OF stunts
Within the deep blue sea"
'where did you learn ali that!~
asked Puss, as he pulled on his red
top boots.
Listen; there's another verse,
and maybe two or three" cooed the
Dove, and then she began to sing
again.
The robin OF tire woodland
Has a pretty crimson vest:
He sings a merry, blithesome song
And builds a coy nest
The robin OF the ocean
Has fms that look like wings.
He doesn't build a nest at all,
He grunts, but never sings.
Yet both Of them are robins
As some OF us have heard
Although the ocean ones a hsh.
The woodland ones a bird.
"cock-a-doodIe-do" crowed the
Weathercock. as the Dove finished
her song. 'IHurrah for you! You
are the poet OF the ArIz!"
''oh, no." replied the modest lit
tie Dove, that Is not my own. My
mother taught me that song when
I was a Dovelet"
as that so " said the Weather
cock, and he gave q sigh OF relief,
for ! guess he wanted to be the
only poet on board the Ark and
sing his little songs every morning
just as he had always done.
BY this time Puss was dressed,
and, taking the Dove on his shoul-
der, went down to the dining room.
As usual. the Noah boys were on
hand with great and glorious ap-
petites.
How are the animals this morn
inE?" inquired Captain Noah. help
ing himself to a big saucer Of oat-
meal.
Pretty we'll" answered Japhet.
Some OF the insects are getting
restless" said Ham.
"I should say So" exclaimed Mrs.
Noah Here's that big red Ant in
the sugar bowl"
Catch him!" cried shem. I'VE
ought to put him back where he
belongs" But the Ant all Of a sud
den crawled out of the sugar bowl
and ran down the leg OF the table.
And in the next story you shall
hear Of most exciting rescue.
CTO Ne CORtInued)
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Forestan His Friends.
DEAR MS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MIS- FAIRFAX:
am seventeen and haPs
known a sailor boy for the past
i've months. 1 am very much In
love with him and / know he
feels the same toward me- But
what / want to know Is, IL IL
right for me to go with other
young men when he IL away?
am doing some work where 10
is quite necessary for me to
have an escort. and some OF his
friends threaten to tell him OF
this whe.- he returns. Nov,
Miss Fairfax. I love him so
much l want HIN to feel that I
am true to him, and should
like your advice.
JOAN I.
Why not forestall these meddie
some friends by writing to you,
sailor boy and telling him the cir
cumstances? Tell him. as yo1
have me. tnat 1t Is necessary fol
you to have an escort in coming
from your work, but that it makes
no change In your feeling for him
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Getting Out of It.

The famous artist had just m
ished painting the portrait OF =
young girl who was very proud Of
her appearance. The artist was
talking about her to an intimate
friend at the private view at the
Academy.
"Her features are exquisitsiy
moulded, have heard" said the
friend, who had seen neither por-
trait nor original.
Beautiful forehead and eyes,"
returned the artist; handsome
nose. fine chin. but mouth like an
elephant's."
"Sirg' said a voice behind. And
the artist turned, TO see the girl he
referred to at his elbow. "a mouth
like an elephants! What do you
meang"
"OnIy that It is filled with superb
ivory" returned the artist with a
deep bow.
The girl smiled Eraciousiy.
The Washington times., 1918-10-17
Declines to Keep Her
Promise.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

-N-@-LN @L-NS a @@@@N@ --Ns
have been going with a girl
SIX years, and we pledged our
troth two years ago Last sum-
mer was the date for our happy
union. when she was taken sick
and had to go to q sanitarium
to recuperate. When she came
home her health was fully re-
stored and she promised TO
marry me. Prior to this I was
classified in the third class. but
now 1 am reclassified in the
first class and expect to so with
the next contingent When
broaching the subject OF mar
riage she refuses to think of IL,
for fear OF my coming home
disabled. Your advice would be
warmly appreciated as to what
step I should take. II Is grieV-
ing me. for I love her dearly,