davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31
o OOoro OOOO OOO 90 o
o BOGAN'S CAMP and ALMONT o
Gooo 2 5000 5000 90 o
News-Champion Correspondence.
Tuesday, May 2S, 1918.

Tuesday, May %, 1918.
Clarence Rogers has been helping
AL Roper finish baling hay.
Men are at work on the road and
hope to have it in shape in a couple
of weeks for hauling.
The "Prospectors" have started in
already. Two came up two days ago
but were forced to come here until
this afternoon.
John Isham has been up this way
fishing several times. That must,
mean that Spring creek fishing is bet
ter than Taylor river.
Mrs. Genth spent very pleasant
afternoon at the Crooks ranch one day
last week and when she left led away
a very pretty saddle mare.
Mrs. Genth rode to Gunnison last
week with horse that had cancer
growth on his eye. w. A. Knowles
removed it and did fine job.
I Two families are feeling pretty
lonesome as the only son of one fam
lily and the oldest of another family
have answered the "Call to Arms"
Mrs. E. F. Adrian has been at the
Ball ranch for a week or ten days
while Mr.. Adrian has been fixing the
road with the help of the road work
ers.
It would be greatly appreciated If
the owner of the dead cow near the
south end of "Roper" ranch fence,
would move her. The saddle horses
get frightened at it.
A. G. Danielson came up today and
moved the balance of his household
goods. "Cap" was one of the first
teamsters hauling for the present COM
pany of the Doctor mine.
We hear that John Sapp is laying in
supplies at Almont getting ready to
start work on his claim near the Doc
tor mine. Things are going to hum
UP this way if all we hear pans out.
Cattle have been coming up by the
hundreds altho all the bridges are not
in yet and it is dangerous work let
ting the cattle and young stock swim
the creek in its high and swift con-
dition.
Tony Watzling came up yesterday
with his truck loaded with supplies
for Mr.. Hohiesel. They get them this
far and then use pack horses the rest
Of the way. Mr.. Hohiesel is looking
for several new horses in the first part
Of next week.
Miss Furnzelle Outcalt has been q
guest at the Flag Staff boarding house
several times in the past two weeks.
Also Mr.. Outcalt and the young Dean
boy. They have been doing some hard
riding-Mr. Outcalt being in the sad
die almost day and night.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31
Salida Harness Co., Salida. Colo.
o 90 90 90 o o o q o o o o
o lola o
900 5000 o o o o o o o
News-Champfon Correspondence.

News-C Champion Correspondence.
Wednesday, May %, 1918.
Mrs. Louis Rouviere spent the week
end at the home of Mr.. and Mrs. Fred
Rouviere.
Mr.. Joe Reiss is Iola's latest con-
tribution to our country's call. He
left on Tuesday.
Bogan's Camp.
Guests of Mr.. Phil Reiss and Miss
Heiss at the lola hotel on Tuesday
evening were Mr.. and Mrs. Spencer,
Mr.. Clinton Spencer, Miss Ruth Spen-
GER, and Mr.. Fred Osborne.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

George Brown came in from Denver
Friday morning to see his mother, Mrs.
Helen Brown, who has been laid up
for the past several days, following
a severe fall she had. One leg was
considerably sprained, but, she is now
able to get around a little. George
was unable TO remain in town long,
and returned Sunday evening.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

DR.. Hanson made trip to the Lake
Fork last Friday to investigate the
smallpox scare at that place. He
found only one case, Carl Benson's
nine year old son. The whole family
are now in quarantine, also the school
teacher who is staying at the Benson
home.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

Factory Shoe repairing.
Work returned same day received.
See our adv. on page four.
Salida Harness Co., Salida, Colo.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31
- - -

Factory Shoe repairing.
Work returned same day received.
See our adv. on page four.
Salida Harness Co., Saiida, Colo.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

Factory Shoe repairing.
Work returned same day received.
See our adv. on page four.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

Factory Shoe repairing.
Work returned same day received
See our adv. on page four.
Salida Harness Co, Salida, Colo.
Gunnison news-champion., 1918-05-31

EPit1in Niner:-
Ihe Pennsyivania lGoiydbennm
E1ftnes company hAs thfs veek e3esed .
'dsal whereby thay 1ow ON ~ ooaxes
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

straighten you right up and make you
feel fine and vigorous by morning, I
want you to 60 back to the store and
get your money. Dodson's Liver Tone
is destroying the sale of calomel be-
cause it is real liver medicine; entire.
ly vegetable, therefore it can not sail.
vate or make you sick.
I guarantee that one spoonful of
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your
bowels of that sour bile and consti-
pated waste which is clogging your
system and making you feel miserable.
I guarantee that bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam.
lily feeling fine for months. Give it to
your children. 1t is harmless; doesn't
grippe and they like its pleasant taste
ADV,
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
Tonight! Take Dodson''s Liver Tone!
Better Than Ca|omeI For Liver
Ca1omel sickens If bilious, constipated and head
achy read my guarantee.

Listen to me! Take no more sicken-
ing, salivating calomel when bilious or
constipated. Don't lose a days work |!
Calo1nel is mercury or quicksilver,
which causes necrosis Of the bones.
Calomel, when it comes into contact
with sour bile, crashes into it, break
ing it up. This is when you feel that
awful nausea and cramping. If you
are sluggish and "all knocked out" if
your liver is torpid and bowels consti-
pated or you have headache, dizziness,
coated tongue, if breath is bad or
stomach sour, just take a spoonful of
harmless Dodson's Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee-Go to any
drug store and get bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone for few cents. Take a
spoonful tonight, and if it doesn't
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
Color Classification.

Hazel had been making mud pies
and had gotten her face and hands
smeared with dirt. Coming into the
kitchen while the girl was out, she
began stirring some batter she found
on the table. Her father happened to
enter the room just then and ex-
claimed:
whats going on here?"
I'm the new cook" announced Ha-
Eel readily.
"Well, if you're going to cook" said
her father, you'd better wash your
face and hands first"
"Oh," replied the little girl, I'm a
negro cook"
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
FOR
KIDNEY AILMENTS

There is only one medicine that really
stands out pre-eminent as a medicine for
durable ailments of the kidneys, liver
and bladder.
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root stands the
highest for the reason that it has proven
to be just the remedy needed in thou
sands upon thousands of distressing cases.
Swamp Root, physicians prescription for
special diseases, makes friends quickly be-
cause it's mild and immediate effect is
soon realized in most cases. It is a gen.
tie. healing vegetable compound.
Start treatment at once Sold at all
rug stores in bottles of two sizes, medi-
I'm and large.
However, if you wish first to test this
yreat preparation send ten cents to DR..
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, n. Y, for a
ample bottle. fFhan writing De sure ano
aention IT,
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
WELL & STRONG
WAS 4 WRECK
IT'S a Very Interesting Story
Louisiana Lady Tells About
What Carfiui Did for Her.

Echo, La.-"For sixteen years, un-
til year ago." writes Mrs. J. O. Guer-
niger, Of this place, II suffered and
suffered from all kinds Of pain, until
l got so rundown and weak I couldn't
walk across the room. L was q physi-
cal wreck. L kept getting worse and
worse and was confined to my bed for
three months...
Then some friends Of mine ad-
vised me to try Cardui. After using
three bottles. L was much improved
LIN a month was able to get up
land do a little work, and soon
after was built-up, well and strong. E.
used 13 bottles Of Cardui all to-
gether. Have been well and strong
ever since. am giving Cardui now
to my daughter. It did me so much
good. I want her to try it.
I am glad to be able to make this
statement so other sufferers may be
benefited. I can never be thankful
enough for what Cardui did for me-
Many thousands Of women have
had similar experiences with Cardui
the woman's tonic.
Try it, if you suffer pain, feel run
down and weak.
Cardui taken in time. when you fee
the first symptoms of trouble, may
save you long spell Of sickness.
At all druggists.-Adv.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

pack my troubles in as little COM
pass as I can for myself, and never
let them annoy others.-Southey.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
ForebodinoS.

II bet Josh'll be glad to get home,"
said Mrs. COrntOssel.
II don't doubt it, replied her hus-
band; "only bein' used to that soldier
fare I'm afraid he amt goin' to be sat
isfied with the way Mr.. Hoover lets us
home folks eat.'
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

To keep clean and healthy take Doctor
liver, bowels and stomach. Adv
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
Authoritative.

Authoritative.
Mabel-That fish looks like trout
is trout.
Norma-Why don't you ask the
chef?
Mabel Ito chef, sweetly)-What kind
of fish is that?
Chef-That. is fried fish, maam-
J1dge
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
Dandruff and Itchino.

Dandruff and Itching.
f. restore dry, falling hair and get rid
Of daodruff, rub Cuticura Ointment
into scalp. Next morning shampoo with
Cuticura Soap and hot water. For
free samples address, "Cuticura, Dept.
K, Boston" At druggists and by mail.
Soap 25, Ointment 25 and 5O.-Adv.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
Its Kind.

81 would like to have a swell lunch
con-"
"Why not try one Of dried apples
and Water?
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

A deposit Of copper ore has been dis
c9vered in Sweden that is about 90 per
cHnt pure copper.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
SPAIN AND ENGLAND REPORT
INCREASE IN TUBERCULOSIS
AFTER INFLUENZA
EPIDEMIC.
u. S. Public Health Service Warns
Public Against Tuberculosis.
One Million Cases Tubercu-
Iosis in United States-Each a
Source of Danger.

Influenza Convalescents Should Have
Lungs Examin ed-Colds Which Hang
On Often Beginning Of Tuberculosis.
No Cause for Alarm If Tuberculosis
Is Recognized EarIy-Patent Medi-
cines Not to Be Trusted,
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
ELIXIR BABEK A coon TONIC

ELIXIR BABEK A GOOD TONIC
And Drives Malaria Out of the System.
N"Your tBabek, acts like magic; have given
it to numerous people in my parish who were
suffering with chills, malaria and fever. I rec.
ommend it to those who are sufferers and in
need of good tonic."-Rev. s. Szymanowski,
ST. Stephens Church, Perth Amboy, N. ].
Elixir Babek, SO cents, all druggists or by
Parcel Post, prepaid, from Kloczewski & Co.,
Washington, d. c.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

If your eyes smart or feel scalded Ro-
man Eye Balsam applied upon going to bed
IL just the thing to relieve them Adv
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

Another Angle.
Does the count intend to contest his
wife's suit for divorce?"
"No; but his creditors do
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

Pity and sympathy. One is thrown
at YOU, the other walks with YOU
lillian Bell
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

Sympathy is one thing most men ar
always careful not to waste.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

The two deadly enemies of tempta-
ton are will-power and won't-pOwer.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20

The best takers are those WHO know
when to stop.
Jackson County journal. (Sylva, N.C.) 19??-19??, 1918-12-20
THE WAR - WOW

Now prepare for the good times peace
will bring. Post yourself ABOUT Pec 1nr,
simmons, Plums. Peaches, Muloerrp1e 7sr
Ornamental Trees, Shrubs and Roses So'sth orb
Nursery Catalog and i've new infnrma-
ton for planters than ever published rI by
any nursery No inflated prices; Adaress
c. NJ Griffing Co., Nurser, Bldg. Macclenny. Florida
The sun., 1918-12-29

Next Tuesday night at =
o'clock the bells will ring and
usher in 1919.
The year 1918 has been
wonderful-but 1919, in our
Judgment, will begin the great
est era in the worlds history
Millions of people have been
saddened by the events Of the
past four years-but they must
look ahead and join all Other
millions in the rebuilding of the
world.
There is a great work to be
done, and the surest way to
master the tragedies of life is to
work.
There has been established a
bond of sympathy among all
peoples that never existed be
fore - therefore we are all
in readiness to do our share
toward the rebuilding, 1t Is a
case of all of us pulling together
So far as the business OF this
hotel is concerned-a small
unit in the universe want to
say to you that my associates
and myself propose to do
everything in u power to
make it as successful as posi-
BILE and to make it serve hon
estly and satisfactorily all OF
our customers. 1t is only by
every one doing his Level best
that well build business on
prosperous lines,
Now let us go to it.
Happy New Year to every
bodyl
Robert D. Blackman.
The sun., 1918-12-29

Chaplain Thomas Guthrie Speers. who
gained the D. S.. c. in France. He is the
son of Mr.. and Mrs. James M. Speers of
Montclair. and four of his five brothers also
are in the army. He was assistant pastor of
the University Place Presbyterian Church
and was graduated from Princeton, 1912.
Mr.. Speers, Sr., was prominent in bringing
Billy Sunday to New York.
The sun., 1918-12-29

Gen. Fayene decorating the colors Of United States Ambulance Unit Gal
with the Croixd de Guerre Left to right: Lieut. Roland Speers. Santa Monica,
Cal: Private George Houston. Elizabeth, N. J.; Lieut. John King, Paragould,
Ark Copyright International Jim
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
UP" YOUR
WHISKY BILLS

PAY US ONE-TENTH Of the actual
cost OF the curse" to you and yours
last year. Unless you save the other
nine-tenths during the wear after TAX
ing Neal Treatment at home or NEAL
INSTITUTE, No. 9O2 North 9th street,
ST. Joseph, Mo-, phone Main 6005, we
Will then refund you the full amount
paid us. Have your lawyer draw the
agreement as above. because
I'VE Mean Business" How About You?
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
WAS SOME FIGHT
The Battle RHe sTold HIS Susanna
-Abeut Was Stem
WinIer.

An American colored stevedore as
signed to the great docks in south
western France had written several
letters to his Susanna in Jacksonville,
Fla, when she wrote back, saying:
You all don't nevah tell me nothin'
bout de battle a-tall. Tilda Sublet's
Dave done wrote her all about how he
kotched two Germans all by hisself
and kilt three mo"
The stevedore was reluctant to tell
his girl that he was doing manual la
Dor and that his only accoutrement was
the tinware from which he ate his
war bread. "slum" and coffee. His
reply ran:
Dear Sue: De battle am goin' on.
You would faint il / tole you de full
details. Ah'm standin' blood up to
nah knees. and every time All move
All step on a daid German. We're too
close to use our rifles. and we're bitin'
and gougin' 'em. At one time me
and two othah niggahs was hangin'
onto de crown prince wild our teeth.
an old papa kaiser done beat us off
wild fence rail untwell reemfostments
comet"
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
Northwest A-rn. st Hal1faac TX y

the Club House or, with a Mic-Mac
Indian guide, forays may be made
into the surrounding wilderness for
Kedgemakoogee is on the edge of the
very best moose-hunting and trout
fishing country. More than a few
fine moose heads sdorn New York
walls, trophies of the chase as fol-
lowed at Kedgemakoogee, and many
a tired business man looking up at
his trophy, promises himself another
trip to the land of its origin.
Spots rich in historical interest dot
this far-eastern province. The best
known is Grand Pre-, celebrated as
the former country of the Acadians
and the home of Evangeline. 1t will
soon be better known for shrine is
being built there now by descendants
of these very Acadians. Annapelis
Royal with memories Of Champlain
and the first French explorers:
Roundhill where the governors lived
in the long ago, when it bore the
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14

Have you ever spent a vacation in
Nova Scotia? Ii not. you have a
rare treat yet in store. It is Vaca-
tion Land par excellence. No matter
what may be your predilection for
summer recreation, Nova Scotia can
fll the bill.
Delightful back-to-nature camps,
equipped with modern comforts, are
scattered from Yarmouth to Sidney.
One Of the best known is the Hedge
makoogee Rod and Gun Club with its
1900 acres of ground and a seven
mile water front on the mountain
ash berry bordered shores of Hedge
makoogee Lake. The lake and a
wealth of easily available trout
infested streams tempt the fly
casters from early spring to late fall.
The comfortable log cabins of the
club ensure restful privacy to their
occupants, while the Club House pro-
vides a social center. Fishing may
be enjoyed from the very steps of
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
THE FUNNY SIDE
Amusing Incidents That Occur in the
Stations Where Uncle Sam
Recruits His Boys.

ST. LOUIS.-Recruitih; d; men for the
marine corps in this city is not all a
matter of persuading reluctant youths
to don the uniform OF their Uncle
Sam. The daily routine OF the re-
cruitins sergeants has its humorous
incidents as well. witness the follow
ing:
A negro approached marine ser
seant at sixth and Market streets and
announced he was ready to join. He
was told the marine corps does not
accept negroes.
II knows that. l knows that" re-
sponded the applicant. That's why
wants to join. Use mighty particu-
lar who | goes with"
The recruiting sergeant at Eighth
and olive streets overheard one youth
remark to another: Let's join the
marine corps and get SIS month
and horse blanket" The sergeant
stopped the two and offered TO bet his
monthly check was greater than the
salary Of both OF the youths. On
questioning them he learned they
worked behind a department store
ribbon counter for IS week
A farmer lad reluctantly consented
to go to the recruiting office. When
he got to the Fullerton Building ne
refused to enter the elevator. After
yainly trying to persuade the youth to
go up in the lift the sergeant asked
his objection.
You don't lock me up in that
darned thing. No. stree" replied the
boy from the sticks who believed the
elevator a prison cell.
A man between 40 and so volun-
teered A recruiting sergeant joking
ly asked him If he would get his par
ents consent. The man took II seri-
ously and was back the next day with
his aged parents, who said they were
willing for their boy" to join II the
sergeant could assure them he
wouldn't he taught to cmoke cigar
cites
A man Of the proportions OF Jess
Willard volunteered. Everyone in the
office admired his physique. But
when he got TO the medical examina-
tion room and stripped off three suits
Of clothing and four or five suits OF
underwear he was found to be any
thing but a modern Hercules.
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14

Get ready for the Fourth Liberty
Loan. ST. Joseph must do its part
and IL will.
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14

more ,euphonious name Of La
Rosette; these and many more await
visitors who delight in exploring
places where history has been made.
Halifax is in itself well worth a
trip to Nova Scotia. Aside from
sight seeing in the city which in
cludes viewing the work of recon-
struction, visiting All Saints Cathe-
dral which when finished will be the
finest, architecturally, on the contin-
ent, wandering through the lovely
Public Gardens and Point Pleasant
Park and climbing the Citadel
Heights, there is that part Of the
harbor called the North West Arm
around which are strung various
country clubs-Saraguay, Mic Mac,
and Waegolwtic-whose members
and guests enjoy boating and bath
ing, fetes and regattas all through
the long summer days. Thus Hall
fax may lay claim 10 the title of sum-
mer resort as we'll as that of Pro-
viIcial Capital and National Seaport.
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
THE Hesse Building
Material Co.
Agents for
Sunhower Portland Cement
ALSO DEALERS IN COAL.
Phone Main 1857
(No. 5000
ORDER OF PUBLICATION

In the Buchanan County Circuit
Court. May Term, 1918.
Mary J. Hathorn and Frank
HathCrn. her husband. Plaintiffs
VS..
William Dischner, Theo. Dischner,
Henry Dischner Ed. Dischner, Caro-
line Gardner and Charles Gardner,
her husband. d............D Defendants
State OF Missouri, County of Bu-
chsnan. So.
Now ot this day came the plaintiffs
by their attorneys and II appearing to
that said defendants William Disch-
ner, Theo. Dischner, Caroline Gardner
and Charles Gardner. -her husband.
are non-residents Of the State of Ms
souri,, and do not reside therein, II Is
ordered that said nonresident defend
ants be notified by publication. as re-
quired by law, that said plaintiffs
have commenced their suit in this
Court against said defendants by pc
tition and affidavit the object and
general nature of which Is to procure
a decree Of partition and order of
sale OF the following desc cribed real
estate situate, lying and being in the
County OF Buchanan and State OF
Missouri, to wit: Two (2) acres off
the east end OF lot nine (9) in Wash
ington Heights. an Addition to the
City of st. Joseph, Buchanan County.
Missouri, according TO plat thereof
duly filed in the office of the Record
er OF Deeds for said Buchanan
County. Missouri; and also to procure
a decree adJudging the amount ex-
pended by plaintiff in the payment
and satisfaction of a paramount en-
cumbrance on said real estate and for
contribution from each OF the defend
ants thereon; that unless the said
William Dischner. Theo. Dischner.
Caroline Gardner and Charles Card
ner. her husband, shall be and appear
at the next term Of this Court, to be
begun and held at the Court House,
in the City of st. Joseph, in Buchanan
County State OF Missouri, on the 7th
day of october, 1918, on or before the
third day of said term. TO answer
plaintiffs petition, the same will be
taken for confessed as to them and
judgment rendered accordingly.
1t is further ordered that a copy Of
this order be published In the st. Jo-
seph Observer, a newspaper publish
ed in the County of Buchanan, for
four weeks successfully, the last in
sertion of which TO be at least fifteen
days before the next October. 1918,
term OF this court.
A copy Attest
ROSS c. cox,
(Seal Clerk.
By Emmett ]. Grouse. Deputy Clerk.
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that Letters
Of Administration, upon the estate OF
Amanda II. Morris. deceased, have
been granted 10 the undersigned. by
the Probate Court of BuS Shsnan Coun-
ty, Missouri bearing date OF the lGth
day OF August. 1918.
All persons having claims against
said estate are required TO exhibit
them TO me for allowance. within six
months from date of said letters. or
they may be precluded from any BEN
eft Of suoh estate; and II said claims
he not exhibited within one year from
the date Of the publication OF this
notice. they will be forever barred.
A true COPY, Attest:
PHILIP McCoLLUM.
(SaaD Administrator.
Chas. A. Redfearn. Clerk of Probate
The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1918-09-14
THIS WAS REAL GRATITUDE.

After being pestered all day long.
Tommy succeeded in locating a per-
sistent "cootie" under his shirt. near
his heart. AS he bent his head In re-
moving the offender a bullet whizzed
past where his head had been. He
held the mite between his fingers and
ruminated: Il can't give you the Vic
toria Cross, but I'll do the next best
thing. I'll give you home for life"
And he replaced the cootie beneath
his shirt.