Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1918-09-26
BY CLARENCE 8. HOLLAND.

BY CLARENCE 3. ROLAND.
Paris.-A man can be only so
frightened. After that he dies sudden
~, or laughs, or both. Also, no mat
ter how scared you are, curiosity sur
wives.
If shell is coming, you want to see
1t land. If it is going to swat you, you
want to see how 1T goes about it.
We were going back from the front
Privately each one Of us didn't care
how much farther behind us it got. 1t
could pick up it's belongings and move
away from us as fast as we were NOV
ing away from it If it wanted. No
body would hear protest from any of
us.
At a crossroads our meteoric prog
ress was halted by young and severe
soldier with M. p. on his sleeve.
'You can't pass" he said; they're
Smelling the road ahead"
He didn't need to tell us. We knew
it. AS matter Of fact we could have
told him things about that road being
shelled that he would never know.
A shell came screaming over our
heads to "wham" down alongside the
road hundred yards beyond 1t
wasn't big shell. In calmer mo-
ment, and at a greater distance, 1
might have admitted that it was lit
tie shell, an insignificant shell, neg
ligible three-inch shell. But when it
went over my head / was willing to
take oath that it was a AZ centimeter.
When / was dug out of the ditch into
which had dived and the mud
scraped out of my eyes took a last
look down the road.
Cap as Shock Absorber.
Something was paining me in the re-
gion Of the knees. Also there was a
sound resembling that made by Broth
err Bones in the minstrel show. Minute
examination demonstrated that the
pain was caused by the knees assault
ing each other venomously. / stuck
my cap between them as shock abb
sorber und looked again.
1t was busy little road. 1t was not
popular road. Everybody on it had
taken dislike to it and was moving
away with enthusiasm. In the dis
lance We're three German prisoners
and one American private The pri-
vate was on horse. 1t looked very
fast horse, but the Germans were hav-
ing trouble with it. 1t kept getting in
their way. They stumbled over it.
"Wham" came another shell. It's
explosion was almost drowned out by
the sounds Of conclusion at my side.
They were caused by the beating to-
gether of the knees of the driver of
the Y. NJ. g. A. car and by those of
| buck private. Their note was differ
| ent, and the meter dissimilar, but the
air was much the same. could not
quite make out which accomplished the
most knocks to the minute, nor which
! was loudest.
Several ration carts were approach
ing. 1t was no slow, dignified, matron
ly progress. Anybody who believes o
team of mules is incapable of speed
should have been there to see. The ra
ton carts were filled with hard tack
The hard tack was as scared as any
thing else, and was trying to keep w
to the cart-but it was out of luck.
1t had no arms to hang on with. The
air was full of hard tack. 1t flowed
out behind those ration carts like Q
ribbon. 1t was a snOwstorm of hare
tack, and nobody paused to ask where
1t fell.
bitches Are Popular.
Every ditch was unbelievably popu
lar. 1t didn't have to be deep ditcl
nor clean ditch. Any common O
garden variety Of ditch would do. 4
six-foot man was perfectly able to con
ceal himself in a six-inch ditch Head
would poke up, and another shell
would land Immediately it would be
come a scene of desolatiOn, lifeles
J waste.
i After awhile an airplane went over
head to locate the battery that wa
causing all the rumpus. Then the bal
terry stopped.
"Go ahead" said the M. P. "They'r
through now"
He is the last NJ. P. shall ever be
! lieye. This is positive. He meant vel
and spoke the truth according to hi
lights, but his lights We're dim. w