The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1918-02-07
A~& 49,
Copyright, 1918. Wheeler Syndicate. Incl
ON SPUR f Fl MOMENT
In the Good Old Antediluvian Days.
BY Roy x. MoULroN

In the Good Old Antediluvian Days.
Il need new gown for the dinner at
To her noble spouse, and he sailed forth
With his good hickory club to get the gown.
Walking on four 'egs and shifting the air.
| Woofus or Gumpwab or whangdoofus.
Mr. Skinclothes would hide himself behind
A convenient rock which had been left
There for that purpose, and when the gown
Face and Knock it cold Then he would
Separate the gown from the form which
Had been displaying it and would hurry
Mrs. Skinclothes would outshine all the
Society Ladies that night. There never
Was a dressmaker's bill.
And still some chumps try to make US
Believe that We have got it on the ancients.
Where do they get that stuff:
"cottontails1 and their meeting places
"hutcheS''
But why insult the inoffensive rab-
bit? He has never done anything to
us.
Where we live they have the cute
little habit Of landing alimony dodg-
ers in Jail. There is now quite an
''alimony club" there. The other day
they had a banquet in the Jail and en-
tertained the warden in honor of the
gift of a new set of dishes the warden
had bought for the club. The toast
master, a former judge, who is we'll
TODD, but who would rather stay in
Jail than pay alimony, read the fol-
lowing bit of free verse:
We're the Alimony Club
In the JAIL county jail
And there's not single dub
In the club.
But everyone is Happy, hearty, hale.
Everyone has got darling of a lady.
Who keeps him here in limbo, very shady.
Don't allow him to go out
On the streets to CAD about.
Never takes him probation.
But just give him a vacation
At the club,
Hoping hub
Will respond to little wiley with the dough.
It's the only thing on earth she wants, you
The warden was SO affected that he
promised to have the poetic appeal
published, and here it is
A New York minister said: an
fifty years Roosevelt will be hailed,
with Washington and Lincoln, as the
embodiment of moral quality in Amer
/ lean life
Why wait? Let's hail now while
the hailing will do The Colonel some
good.
Back to First Principles?
| Much edited to learn yesterday
that paving bricks have gone up on
account of the war.
Gosh! Have they got down to
throwing them over there?
English scientist has just got thru
counting 100000 stars. Huh! There
are more than that right in this coun-
| try in motion pictures.
Agriculture is looking up in Eng
land. All the big estates are under
cultivation.
In other words, the noblemen are
raising potatoes nowadays instead of
hell.
The Japs are foolish,
| Just like fox.
When it comes to
Sitting down to the peace table,
They will be there with bells on
And napkins tucked under their chins
All ready for the good gravy.
And, without putting man, a dollar or a
ship
Into the price of the victory repast.
! Oh, simple children of the East
We sure love your nerve.
A philanthropist wants all the bill
boards converted into homes for the
poor. Claiming, no doubt, that in
stead of billboards, the peor now have
| only board bills.
Judge and Life" please copy
One thing:
The ladies don't complain, of men
stepping on their trains anymore
There hasn't been train on Main
street in ten years.
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