The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1918-06-14
r A MALE
0 BOUGHT BY MAIL
THE:

Ma va ldng out loud from her maga-
When she says to me. ''The best I've seen
For all the things that must be had
Is this here low price mail house ad-
more
'Gainst 10 they're charging the store.
And IL all the rest that's s-.vertised
Is just as cheap I'd not be s'prised
That we'd save money in the end
BY trading with our low price friend"
80 shot an order into the mall
Il carried my name, IL carried my kale.
I ordered a lamp and a rocking chair,
A pail OF prunes and some underwear.
My wife. she ordered two petticoats.
A new false pun and some Cross Grained
oats;
A Eoah's Ark for baby's toy,
A pair OF boots for Bub, the boy;
Stockings for Nell. waist for Lizzie.
just writing that order kept me busy.
weii. we shot the order into the mail
Twas all OF thirty dollar sale:
We figured out three days was enough
To fetch us that dodblasted stuff.
They got my coin but not a peep
Did hear from the firm OF Grab & Keep.
Twas all of two weeks-maybe three
Before them goods arrived for me.
j got q notice. hitched tho ma'ar
And drove three miles to the railroad car.
] found a whacking big box there
Some smashed UP. but ] didn't care.
tWhen you've honed for prunes until II
hurts
And your back is cold ter lack of shirts.
When the goods in front o. you q labeled
Must"
You grab EMF the box IN bustD
SO heaved the wreckage into the cart
Ard headed for home. feeling pretty smart.
MY goods had come from q town that's
real,
And I'd saved four dollars on the deal!
We soon got home and opened the case
And looked at our purchases, face to face
Well. sir. twas an eye opener you can
bet.
And one that shan't soon forgeti
The parcel OF oats was torn to rags
bags!
The prunes seemed good. and the baby's
toy
Before II broke he had one days Joy!
My wife's false puffs was some horsehair
stun.
And her petticoats WANT half large
enough
The stockings for Nell looked thin and
The waist was ruined by a rusty nail
The lamp was as lurid as three weeks
boil
And held bout a teacup full OF oil
The boots for Bub cost the same. no more.
Than Hoskins asks at the village store
But the rocking chair built OF solid oak -
Was the funniest part of this wholesale
Joke.
On. twas just like the picture. rod and
rung.
But the rize OF the things where we got
stung.
Ma tried It and found twas . false
alarm -'.tt
Twas foot too narrow from arm TO arm
Nell had more luck: she wedged right In
hut we pried her out with the rolling Din
Then l set right down and figured the sale
That 'ad'' had made through the u. s.
mail
aggered an hour. and then some more.
And found we had nothing on the village
store
I'd sent thirty dollars to Chicago Ill.
And saved twelve cents on the total bill,
Then seen at once twas them nine cent
oats
Had taken our dollars and made us soats
SO swore by all that was holy and pure
I'd read no ads with low price lure
] stopped mas magazine on the spot
Will | take II again? I reckon not:
Leastwise not till they pot ban
On that "come-on" stun Of the mall house
mani
John Ruger Of Lafayette has joined
the stan OF the Indiana food admins
traitor TO have charge OF all baking
problems. A bakery inspector will
be added to the staff. whose business
will DE an examination Of shops, &C
counts, formulaes, etc.