Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1918-03-11
murder and rape are legitimate II
committed in the name q the govern
ment, or the crown" ED
MAKING PATRIOTS In HANCOCK.
ftBailey in Britt Tribune.1

ii
MAKING PATRIOTS In HANCOCK.
tf3ailey in Britt Trbune.]
Hensman Smidt Is q German farmer
living down in Erin township, and Is
a pretty good sort of a man. except
| that he is a pro-German Of a very
decided variety and until last week
was proud Of it. He took great de-
| light in telling what a wonderful man
the kaiser is, and as he is out of the
kaiser's dominion to the extent that
the kaiser can't get him into the army
he likes to brag on him. part of the
time he does this in the German Ian
guage alone, more especially If there is
none but Germans to listen, but he
has slipped a cog occasionally and
along comes a secret service man who
had the goods on Hensman and he
proceeded to gather him in like hen
gathereth her chickens. OF course
Hensman was very patriotic, he admit
ted this himself, and told the secre.
service man all about it. In fact he
told him more than about 1t, he
talked long and very verbose. Then
the secret service man began to talk
and told HenShidn a Whole lot that ne
had said and had the documents to
prove it. Documents are spendid things
| to have in such cases. Hensman could
not remember the particular time that
he had said certain things. but on re-
Election there seemed to be sort of
familiar sound to some of them. and
also as this was the third secret serv-
ice man who had called on him in
the past six months the conviction
gradually dawned on him that per-
haps he had said something bordering
on what the secret service man had
suggested. Among the things that
Hensman could remember quite plain
ly was the fact that he had German
flag that he took great delight in
showing to his friends. This Mrs.
Smidt thought would make fine fire
$50 she gently inserted it into the
stove. and the rotten old rag warmed
up his home in a nice manner. with all
It's sacred associations. and the en-
blcm Of cussedness and damnable
treachery stunk worse than a nest of
rotten eggs. Hensman also thought
that he had better subscribe for a lib
erty bond. The secret service man tol1
him he could do this IL it was done OF
his own free will and accord. which
Hensman assured him was a fact as he
had for quite spell been pining for
liberty bonds. so he took one for a
Thousand dollars. Then the secret serv-
lie man told Hensman confidentia|1y
that for the time being he would let
him of with his blessing. but he as
sured the COMPOUNDED pro-German kali
ser lover that If he ever assumed to
open his blasted face in the interests of
the kaiser again that he would hop
onto his frame like a chicken hawk on
n June bug. Hensrnan was scared and
trembled like a billy goat with the
locomotor ataxia. His heart swelled
up as big as a three quart basin. and
his asthma was entirely cured. His
boy could now register without fear
that the old man would burst due
flue while Dragging of the kaiser. or
working his wind works for breath.
We would be sorry for dog that has
asthma but we never had much sym
pathy for Hensman's asthma as an
excuse for his boy not registering Tor
the draft. We are proud to chronicle
the fact that Hensmans asthma dis
appeared when the secret service man
gave him the grand hailing sign OF,
come down off your high horse. Tor
Nemesis is on your trail. This Smidt
has held up every secret service man
with his bunk about his loyalty. and
palavered around until he wore them
out, but he got man after him this
time who was after his very gut fat
and he got it. No doubt now but Hens
man will be delighted to subscribe five
hundred TO the Red Cross and five hum
dred to the Y M c. A. He is amply
n h,e IN co,ne across all he needs is .