Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1918-03-22
Mr.. SIMPEINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT MeeLAlR.

been promoted for Yalor during the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field Of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First. be
revereneed and adored the memory OF
ais father: secondly. his age and BIS
eyes aud his game leg wouldn't let him
20 10 VII himself. Aud as he observed
the martial hearing and uncompromls-
Ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw.
IN imaglna ton. the KHAKI. clad lads ~
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
fight. maybe die, for liberty.
Mr. Slmpkins peered around TO make
sure that neither Bess nor John twho
were AT the teasing ages OF sixteen
and sesenteen) were where they couhf
see him. then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for n salute
But bis equity shoulder twlnged. and he
groaned He couldn't even salute
Damn said sir, SlmpkIns. and
with his other hand nercely twlrled Ills
white mnstachlos
He turned and iinped into the IL
brary and sat down creukliy before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tar slate
ment. blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal neys-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
eon on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkns Income for 1917 had
Amounted 10 just nbonf $1,000. and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
iect OF taxes ever since he had dlscoy-
cred that The more Income . man has
the greater tie percentage of II he
paws In lakes. lie could think OF sew
eral men who. like himself. were mar
ried aud had Two children. and jet.
although their incomes were nearly
half Of bis. they would pay only n
small fraction OF the amount be paid.
he gloomlly drew The blank nearer
aud began illng In the information
that IL asked for.
As Mr. Simpkins' Income ~as $1,000
he had 10 figure out the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes OF incomes In order To srrise
III the total due from himseif. BE
passed over the nrsl class Who must
pay isIes. that 10. single men making
over looo HIS calculation for mar
rled men then showed Mp - follows:
FIRST. ihey pay 2 per cent. innd~r
the 1916 lsm) on ell Income ever
81 .oo1. dsdueilpg 500 for ash Of their
children under eighteen years Ia Mr..
slmpklns rsse this WAS s212. which he
put down in lie "paysbls" column.
file saw next That. under the 1917
law. ,nn rrIed men pay an additional z
per cent. on MI over goodwin the
san,e allowance Tor children This
added So to hls payable column.
lie then observed fhnt FOR every
s. 90 inmp IN his income over 5000
be Tad 10 ny surlax. ~. percentage
growing larger with ench Jump This.
nns SO more ndds~l 10 hls burden
and 90 top Of ali this came m "kx-
cess Profits tHx ~ per eeni. on ma
"ocengatlour Income ossi 5000. max
Ing $50 more
The total. then. ~ must par WAS fcar@
teen hundred sad thirty four dollars
"Whcw r exclaimed Mr. Slmpklas
sngrlly There's Young Henry WA
Kins. who married Jake Jnhnsons glrl.
be ntakes s2e0 and bs doesn't pay n
cent Of saaes gucsa this is his war
~ eel as mine y
Thinking Of young Henry WHk,ns.
he remembered thai Mrs wilkins went
every afternoon 10 make handages FOR
The Red Cross and that Henry. who
VAS lawyer. was nidlrg The Local
Draft BOARD with lis anssfiounalres
"weil." he admitted 10 himself,
that makes difference"
He thought next 81 Judge willousis-
BY. whose income WAS shout $1,000
lie only pays SO" commented Ar.
simpkins. not quite 80 angriiy .blss
time. aud then thought struck hisn
and he sal up risIdly In his chair.
Judge wlllonghbys sou had been
drowned on the Tuscsnla when wa
subms rin@d with the loss 81 two bun
dred soldiers
Judge willouThh, gave his son TO
America mnttered Mr. simpkins.
lie teamed forward suddenly and pat
his face In his hands.
For long Time Nj. slmpkins eat
very attn IN that posltian. There VISA.
no sound in the library except the
licking OF the tall clock End en- coca
sionsl irlll of isughler from the chill
dren .kyisrkiBg upstairs. The square
Of light ON the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and
nrst twilight and Then darkness settled
In shout The quiet. white haired. some
times irsscIble old man
Mr. SimpkIns wss thinking things
which he would never sfferward speak
Of he wss thinking things that were
TOO sacred ever 10 he put into words
But some insIing OF HE thoughts may
be fonnd In his rejeInder 10 Mrs
simpsins when that placid lady came
In and turned on The ilghts. and sskes
him whether he vas ready for dinner.
Judge wIlloughby's only son wss
worth rs much ~ fourteen hundred
and thlris.four dollars. wasn't her'
Mr.. SlmpkIrs demanded OF her.