davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

Try This.-Thc quick wit OF Il tr;if-
cling salesman who has since become
a well known proprietor was s"vrrri!
tested one day. He sent in his card
by the Office boy to the manager o. Il
large concern. whose inner Ollie" vas
separated from the waiting room 10y
a ground glass partition. When the
boy handed his card to the manager
the salesman saw him impatlently
tear II in half and throw II In the
waste basket; the boy came out ana
told the caller that he could not see
the chief. The salesman told the boy
to go back and get him his card: the
boy brought out five cents. with the
message fR0f his card was1rnupp
Then the salesman took out another
card and sent the boy back. saying:
Tell your boss | sell two cards tor
five cents"
He got his interview and sold n
large bill of goods.-Pittsburg Chron-
icle- Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
And Has a Grand Pen.-Althoush

And Has a Grand Pen.-Although
Thomas Hardy. the famous EnGiish
novelist. has lived so long in Dor
sctshirc. among the very scenes he mas
depicted graphically in his books, he Is
of such II retiring and modest dispo-
sition that his fame is unknown to II
number Of the quiet country folk VINO
live in his vicinity.
There Is an amusing story OF an en-
thusiastic admirer who visited Dor
sctshire and approached an old lad!
whom ne found sitting outside hei
cottage door.
MIR. Hardy lives near here, doesn't
hc?" he inquired.
Which Mr.. Hardy" asked the ola
woman.
why. Mr.. Thomas Hardy. VINO
writes books" replied the astonished
pilgrim.
"Oh. | know naught about him,
said the woman. but there be
HARDY near by that rcars grand pigs
Youths Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

No Lawyer Needed.-An Atlanta
lawyer tells OF a newly qualified judge
in one Of the towns OF the south who
was trying one OF his first criminal
cases. The prisoner was an old negro
charged with robbing n hen coop. He
had been in court before on similar
charge and was then acquitted.
We'll. Henry" observed the judge
II see you're in trouble again"
"Yessuh." replied the negro. DE las
time. Judge. you rec'lect, you was nah
lawyuh."
where IL Your lawyer this time?"
81 amt so not lawyer dis time.
said Henry. "Ah's gwine to tell de
troof."-Oregon Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

A Quick Deeision.-In his earlier
wears Lord Morris. afterward lord
chief Justice of Ireland. was recorder
of Galway. On one occasion the last
case on the list-a dispute over
few shillings-was argued before MIN
at great length and with much
warmth. Lord Morris was anxious 10
get back to Dublin. where the courts
were In full swing and he held I'M
portant briefs. Within few minutes
the Dublin train was timed to start
the recorder looked ut his watch. but
the wrangle did not seem to he ap-
preaching an end.
At last he said to the opposing So
licitors:
"Sce here. gentlemen. ! must eaten
a train. Here Is the sum in dispute
and throwing down the silver, nc van
ishcd from the court.-Grccn bag.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
With the Prunes.-"We've miss'

With the Prunes.-"We're missed
YOU for several mornings" remarked
the blond typewriter to the thin
boarIer as he glided into the mcatlrss-
whcatless breakfast table.
well, see if you can miss this one
Cutie" replied the COMMUNICATIONS
or. Why is the English general. Sir
Julian Bying. the hero of Cambrai. like
Annette kellermun. the swimmer?
"One has made good in fights and
the other in tights" suggested the
bank clerk with the red necktie.
Won't do" answered the man who
started the trouble. Listen. Here's
the answer: Because they were both
male famous by the tanks."-ionkers
Statesman.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
UNION BANK OF ROCK HILL
IRA B. DUNLAP, President
WAR SAVINGS STAMPS
ARE YOU TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF THIS OPPORTUNITY?

The habit of Systematically Saving
is the greatest step to success, ana
War Savings Stamps, which can be
purchased at from % Cents up. at the
Postofice or either Bank, Is the BEST
investment we know OF, to say nothing
of Serving Your Country.
York County stool 18th per capita
on April 2Ith among the counties OF
this State, with sales amounting to 50
Cents per capita, or s30,353.O0, while
Beaufort county, largely colorcd
population, stands at the TOP OF the
list, S2.0S per capita.
The writer has just returned from
New York, where he found on every
hand persons of all descriptions SELL
ing Thrift and War Stamps. We hope
every Mail Carrier in York county will
present the opportunity of purchasing
:sta1hps to .lTfs-.spa.y ItfS. ---'--'' --------
W. B. MOORE
Authorized Agent for Sale of Stamps
at Cost.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

All Clear Now.-Old Farmer-to
soldier son just returned from the
front)-"well. Dick. what be these
tanks like that there's so much talk
about:"
Son-"why. they're just wobhling
thingamabobs. full O. what you-may-
call-'ems. and they blaze away like
billyo!"
Old Farmer-"Ay, I heard they was
wonderful things, but never could get
any details afore."-Tit- Bits.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
for The GREAT RED CROSS
Liberal Response to Call For Sub.
SCriptiODS
WESTERN DISTRICT NEARLY $4,000.
List Of Donations Of Five Dollars and
Over. Together With Aggregates OF
Most Of the Different School Dis

Most of the Different School Dis
trcts.
Tn. Red Cross drive in the western
district, including the townships OF
York, Broad River, Bullock's Creek
and Bethesda. with }. y. Marion OF
Yorkville, as chairman. yielded nearly
$50 Because OF more or less con-
fusion in some OF the lists. some OF
the names being down twice. and pos
sibly some omitted. il is not practical
BILE to give the aggregat" returns with
absolute accuracy. The following. how
ever. is intended TO include the names
Of all subscribers who gave s. or over:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

Got the other Plaee.-A practical
Joker called up the telephone operator
and said:
Hello, central. give me Heaven.
hut that isn't what she gave him.
YOUNGSTOWN Telegram.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

When the cold is making ice cream Of
the marrow of your bones,
When you're shaking like a jelly and
your feet are dead as stones,
When your clothes and boots and
kit.
Arc soaked from hell to breakfast. and
the dugout where you sit
Is leaking like a basket, and upon the
muddy floor
The water lies in filthy pools. six inch
es deep or more;
Tho life seems cold and miserable and
all the world Is wet,
You'll always get thro' somehow II
you've got cigarette.
When you're living in the listening
post. way out beyond the wire.
While n blasted Hun. behind q gun, Is
doing rapid fire.;
When the bullets whine above your
head. and sputter on the ground,
When your eyes are strained for ev-
cry move, and your ears for every
sound;
You'd bet your life n Hun patrol Is
prowling somewhere near;
a shiver runs along your spine that's
very UUuCI ike ledT.
You'll stick to the finish-but. I'll
mako a Little bet.
You'd feel Whole lot better II you
had cigarette.
When Fritz Is starting something and
his guns are on the bust,
When the parapet goes up in chunk,
and settles down In dust,
When the roly-poly "rum-jar" comes
a-wobbling thro, the air,
Till 1t lands upon a dugout-and the
dugout isn't there;
When the air Is full Of dust and smoke
and scraps of steel and noise,
And you think you're booked for gold
en- crowns and other heavenly
joys.
When your nerves are all affirm
bic, and your brain Is all a-fret-
It isn't half so hopeless IL you've got
n cigarette.
When you're waiting for the whistles
and your foot is on the step,
To bluff yourself. It's lots Of fun, and
all the time you're hep
To the fact that you may stop one
fore you've gone a dozen feet,
And you wonder what 1t feels like,
and your thoughts are far from
sweet;
Then you think about a little grave.
with r. l. p. on top,
And you know you've got to go across
-altho' you'd like to stop;
When your backbone Is limp as water.
and you're bathed In icy sweat,
Why, you'll feel a lot more cheerful II
you pun your cigarette.
Then. when you stop a good one. and
and the stretcher bearers come
And patch you up with strings. and
splints. and bandages, and gunm;
When you think you've got a million
wounds and fifty thousand breaks,
And your bodys just a blasted sack
packed full Of pains and aches:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

Yes, Father knew.-"Father." said
vivacious Vivian. as she lay in the
hammock on the winter restort hotel
piazza. "this place seems just like
home"
YES, it's the dearest spot on earth.
promptly replied father. putting away
his fountain pen after writing a check
for that weeks board bill.-Froth.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
THIS CORN WILL
PEEL RIGHT OFF

"Gets-It" Makes Corns Como OF The
"Banana-Peel Way!
Why have to tlop on the floor.
squeeze yourself up like the letter r.
and with bulSing eyes draw your face
M into wrinkly knot while YOU
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31
SOLDERING AND CIGARETTES
Boys in Camps Would Rather Dc
Without Meals than Smokes.

"Of course cigarette smoking never
did anybody any good from q physical
standpoint" writes James d. Grist Of
Camp Sewer. in n personal letter. II
guess they might do harm from a
mental and moral standpoint after so
long n time: but one in the army gets
so much pleasure and satisfaction out
Of them that he is quite willing to
take chance on the damage they
might do. | should say that fully 90
per cent of the soldiers now at Camp
Scvier smoke cigarettes and another
five per cent smoke cigars and pipes.
IF the smoking of cigarettes is so
very Injurious TO health and happiness
as many physicians and others claim,
Il would seem to me. that an effort,
and q great effort ut that. would be
made by the medicos of Camp SEWER
10 put stop to 1t. have never yet
heard an army doctor preach against
cigarettes and | notice that the great
majority OF them are cigarette smok-
cry-..
ut rained here Monday night. and
several of us lay back on our hunks
discussing things various and all
about. when the conversation drifted
to cigarettes. One fellow recited this
poem. written by some soldier in the
trenches over there. 1t became so pop
ular abroad that II has been reprinted
and distributed In this country. I had
never heard of it before the lad recit-
ed it the other night and 1t struck me
as such an able presentation Of the
soldiers attitude toward smoking that
| had him repeat 1t slow while copied
it of.
"It fits the life in camp, too. True,
there is no danger connected with the
life in the training camps, no shells
come over and at you; no bullets
sing around -Ths< Gallhle.
1t is too tame and becomes yerribly
tircsome and monotonous. AID It is
ut these times that cigarettes size great
companions and mind easers.
Here's the poem entitled Figs as
the soldier lad recited 1t the other
night:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

gougc and pull at the quick" Of n ten
der corn? That's the old savage way.
Gets Il" is the modern. painless. SIM
pie way. Lean over and put two drops
of "Grts-lt" ON the corn and put your
stocking ana shoe right on again. and
forget the corn. Pain is rasrd.
"t;rts-l Il" has rcvolutioniZrd the
treatment of cornS. II never irritatcs
the true flesh. Iou'll stop limping on
the side OF your shoe. and do away
with greasy salves. bundling bandages.
thick pastrrs and painful methods.
Use ''Grts-It." it's common sense.
Gets H." the guaranteed. money
back corn remover. the only sure way,
costs hut Il triilc at any drug store.
MID by f.. Lawrence Il Co, Chica-
20. Ill.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1918-05-31

Philadelphia District q. B. SCOTT
list) ''.:''',',....''
Tirzah School District (additional :.....
Lanyham School district (additionaD....
Mr.. and Mrs. F. f. Clinton
Union District wv. w. Jacksons
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
HUSBAND TESTlFIES
WIFE is UNBALANCED

ANGOLA, Ind. Feb. 2S.-Ward
Coleman. husband Of Mrs Nora
Coleman, on trial here for the muir
der of her mother. Mrs. Sabina
Gleason, was the principal witness
for the defense today. He testified
that he had known his wife ever
since she was a little girl and that
she had always acted strangely. He
described his wife's actions on the
night preceding the murder and said
that she showed no signs of sorrow
on the night of the murder nor since.
Tomorrow five Angola doctors will
be called by the defense in an effort
TO show that the woman was insane
when she committed the murder.
Evidence was brought out today
showing that Mrs. Coleman feared
her mother would carry out a threat
made some time ago that she did
not like children and would kill any
that might be born 10 her daughter.
Mrs. Coleman. il was shown in q
delicate condition when the murder
was committed.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
ONLY one "BRo1To oCININE"

To get the genuine. call for full
name LAXATIVE BROMQ QUIN-
me. Look for signature OF r. W.
GROVE. cures a Cold in One pay.
soc. Adv.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
RADIUM IS NOW
OFFERED To ALL
Great Curative Property for
rheumatism Can Now be
Tried at Home.

Radium is gne OF the most eff
cient curative properties for rheum-
atism known 20 medical science.
But
Radium treatments i'm the past
have been enormously expensive and
the cost has prohibited the average
man or woman who suffered from
rheumatism from trying il. Either
the sufferer had 20 Journey 10 some
not springs 90 drink the water con-
tanning the radium emanations or
20 10 an institution known as an
"EmanatOrium' where the radium
treatment was taken 10y inhaling
the sas-Or anatiOns-giVen OFF
from a quantity OF pure radium
Now however. the radium treat
ment is not expensive Sufferers
from rheumatism can try radium
right IN their own homes ana the
cost is 40 greater than the cost of
ordinary medicines.
The manufacturers of Tanlac. the
most widely known general system
tonic In America have placed a
medicine for rheumatism on the
market and il contains radium.
Taniac rheumatism Treatment.
under which name the new medi-
cine is being introduced it, COM
plete It consists of a tablet FOR
internal use and a medicam for
external use Each OF the tablets
for internal use produces four
mache units of genuine radium en-
anation
II you suffer from the aches and
pains and twinges OF rheumatism
Eet Tanlac Rheumatism Treatment
today and get a real medicine for
this dreaded complaint You can
get TanlaC Rheumatism Treatment
az any good drug store where YOU
get Tenlac. the famous tonic. Adv't
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
P|MPLy? WELDON Be
People Notice 1t. Drive Them
Off with DR.. Edwards
Olive Tablets

Apimply face will not embarrass you
much longer if you get package of
DIR. Edwards Olive Tablets. The skin
should begin TO clear after you have
taken the tablets a few nights.
Cleanse the blood, bowels and liver
with DR.. Edwards Olive Tablets. the
successful substitute for calomel; there's
no sickness or pain after taking them
DIR. Edwards Olive Tablets do that
which calomel does, and just as effec-
lively, but their action is gentle and
safe instead of severe and irritating.
No one who takes Olive Tablets IS
ever cursed with "a dark brown taste,
a bad breath, dull, listless, no good
feeling, constipation, torpid liver, bad
disposition or pimply face.
DIR. Edwards Olive Tablets are a
purely vegetable compound mixed with
olive oil; you Vill know them by their
olive color.
DR.. Edwards spent years among pa.
tients afflicted with liver and bowel
complaints, and Olive Tablets are the
immensely effective result.
Take one or two nightly for week.
See how much better you feel and look.
1Oc and 25c per box. All druggists
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
At THE AUDITORIUM.

An illustration OF the demands
sometimes made upon photoplayers
TO obtain certain required scenes for
way Bill" tOday's feature at me
Auditorium, in which Harold Lock-
wood is starring. For the lumber
camp scenes Mr.. Lockwood and his
company went to Maine and esta b.
lished camp on the Rangeley lakes.
They arrived in the midst Of a cold
spell which continued for three
weeks. on the mildest day the Their
mometer registered ten below and
on the coolest day it dropped to as
below Despite this bitter cold the
company worked out of doors prac-
tically every day and some splendid
results and beautiful snow scenes
were secured. Some other scenes Of
the picture were taken in Florida
and others in a cafe on Broadway.
The seventh episode Of the thrill
ing love drama THE Mystery Ship"
featuring Ben Wilson and Neva
Gerber and the Ford weekly are
also being shown today. Tomor-
row. Mary MacLane, who gained
much notoriety for herself a num-
Der of years ago by writing book
Of her life. will be seen in a photo
play taken from one of her books
which she calls Men Who Have
Made Love 10 Me" THE Big Idea"
one of those funny Lonesome
Luke" comedies, will also be on the
bill
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
ECZEMA CAUSED YEARS
OF INTENSE AGONY

% have suffered intense agony
from Eczema on my leg and other
parts OF my body for years. and re-
ceived only temporary relief from
other preparations. II Is only a
month since i started TO use Pc
TERSON'S OINTMENT. and there
is no sign Of Eczema or itching You
can refer 10 me. Geo. &. Talbot
- Penheld ST., Buffalo. y. Y.
I've got a hundred testimonials,
says Peterson, just as sincere and
honest as this one. Years ago.
when I FIRST started to put out
PETERSON'S OINTMENT. i made
mp my mind 10 give a big box for
q small price. and I'm still doing it.
as every druggist in the country
knows.
I guarantee PETERSON'S ONT
MENT because J know that its
mighty healing power is marvellous.
i say 10 every one who buys a box
that IL is rigidly guaranteed for
Eczema. Pimples, salt Rheum. old
sores, Blind. Bleeding and itching
Piles. Ulcers. Skin Diseases. Chatting.
Burns. Scalds and Sunburn. and IL
not satisfactory any druggist Will
return your money. 30 cents. Adv't
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
THEATERS
AT THE OLIVER.

AT THE OLIVER.
There will be an initial perform
ance this afternoon OF Which One
Shall l Marry" at the Oliver thea
ter. Replete with special scenery
and a well chosen cast, Mr.. VIII
liams invites comparison with any
road company playing this attrac-
ton. The play itself, is worthy of
any praise that may be given IT,
1t is a true 10 life story of love of
a young girl told in a different way.
Half allegOrical, wholly interesting
and entirely likeable, the production
as offered by this clever stock COM
pany cannot fail 10 he unusual In
brief. Which one Shall Mar
ry?" is the answer 10 a girls pray
81 that she might see her life with
each man so she might choose
Alright. Miss Leone has a splendid
part and one that just suits the tai
ents of the popular little lady.
There will be a matinee today and
a matinee tomorrow instead OF the
night performance, Friday night be
ing the first or Mr.. Newman's trav-
eltalks. That will be the usual pro-
gram for the next five weeks dur
ing Mr.. Newmans engagements, a
matinee every Friday. There will
be a matinee Saturday and a final
performance Saturday night.
+. NJ. Newman comes TO the
oliver theater tomorrow evening in
the first of his series of traveltalks
Discovery OF America The
first journey Will take us 10 Our
National Parks" and some OF the
most magnificent scenery ever
thrown on a screen will be shown.
MIR. Newman. always a pleasing
talker. has arranged a most inter
esting lecture for his first appear
ance. The sale for the single ad-
missions is now open.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
AT THE ORPHEUM.

Cheyenne Days" depicting pas
times of the plains and described as
a roundup of thrills and laughter,
is the headline feature on the new
bill Of vaudeville which has its
opening at the Orpheum theater to-
day. Hugo Lutgens, a clever mono
logist. who bills his Offering as
"Swede Billy Sunday will amuse
with his originality. a miniature
musical comedietta entitled. Bet
ting Berries" introduces pleasing
comedy and up-tO-date song selec-
tions. together with a host of pref
" girlies. Pauline Saxon and Fred
die Clinton. present a laughable
sketch entitled, From Nebraska
10 Broadway" Evelyn and Dolly
complete the bill with songs and
dances that prove a real novelty.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
AT THE CASTLE.

Last chance will be given patrons
Of the Castle theater today to see
the big Lois Weber production.
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, f."
in which she is herself starred.
Beginning tomorrow, Spurs of
Sybn," featuring Alice Brady in a
delightful role, is shown for two
days at the Castle. This is the ex-
citingly unusual story of a society
butterfly who is turned out into the
world TO make her own way. How
she was saved from a sinful life she
had never led by a handsome doc
tor. lends an interesting twist TO the
story and proves that expensive
hnery does not always cover a null
titude of sins Vengeance and the
Woman" is also included on the
bill.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
ANN MURDOCH
IN LASAILE COMEDY.

Ann Murdoch, while not stage
beauty. has won success through her
ability TO act real girl parts and in
My Wife" the comedy shown at
the LaSalle today. she is delightful.
There is nothing artificial about
her methods and as the spoiled
young miss who coaxes her bachelor
guardian 10 marry her. she is clever
and original The play was once
used on Broadway by John Drew and
Billie Burke and is well adapted for
screen purposes. Ii is bright and
clean and the cast is Of the quality
always seen in a Frohman produc-
ton James Montgomery Flagg's
sketch OF real life The Matinee
Girls" is the third OF MS Girls You
Know Series
Fridays feature Fields of
Honor" brings Mae Marsh ia fine
emotional part.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
WOMAN'S DEVOTION TO HOME

Home duties 90 many women APP
pear more important than health.
40 matter how iil they feel. they
drag themselves through their daily
tasks. overdo and pay the penalty in
headaches. backache. dragsing- down
pains and nervousness: they become
irritable. and finally discover that
some form OF female complaint has
fastened itself upon them When a
woman gets into this condition there
Is one tried and true remedy made
from the roots and herbs of the
field LYDIA T.. Pinkham's Vegetable
compound. which for more than
I1rtv years has continued its great
work among women iu restoring
health after many other remedies
have failed Adv't
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28

Don't say you saw II in the
newspaper. Say News-TimeS
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-28
WARTIME RECIPE
FOR GRAY HAIR
How Ia Make an inexpensive Mix
TIRE That VIII Darker Strsakcd
or Faded Gray Hair.

Gray. streaked or faded hair can
he Immediately made black brown
or light brown. whichever shade
you desire. by the use OF the follow
ing remedy that you can make at
home.
Merely set a small box OF OrIex
powder at any drug sore. 10 costs
only % cents. and no extras 10 buy
Dissolve Do in one ounce OF water
and comb II through the hair Full
directions for use come in each box
You need not hesitate 10 use or
Tex. as a 100 gold bond comes I'm
each box guaranteeing the user that
OrleX powder does not contain sill
YER. lead. zine. sulphur. mercury.
aniline. coaltar products or their
derivatives.
10 does not rub of. is not sticky
or gummy and leaves the hair funny
10 will make a gray haired person
look 20 years younger. Adv't