The Lamar register., 1918-03-13
STOP, READ
SAFETY FIRST
IJSTENi REASON!

Well, sir, it's just wonderful the
amount OF harmony one finds In the
Democratic party In Colorado-won-
der-FULLI
Hubbard. who heads the insurgents
cause he holds q state job and can
run around at the expense OF the TAX
payers, don't speak to F1ncher. one Oh
the conservative leaders. Charley
Friend of Jefferson county. who Is. 70
to speak. the pivot around which the
others revolve, walks right down the
street and doesn't even see Chairman
Miller Charlie Essig Of Fort Coliins'
who has developed q remarkable itcn-
ing for a state job. never thinks OF
dropping In and saying "howde' to the
governor. Doc Jones. the medical man
from Fort Collins, has 1t all doped out
how he is going to place "honest1ohn
on the blink. Doc is right in the open
against every fellow who Ii not for
him with both feet. Doc Is sscreuy
playing with the insurgents, and the
insurgents are secretly playing with
Shafroth.
An there you are.
THE LOVELY PREss BUREAU
THAT FURNISHES THE DOPE.
The insurgents have q lovely little
press bureau in the state house right
under the nose OF the governor. In
deed, the press agent Is an appointes
lime "a. in nRn-
yer and want to see how political deps
is made Just drop In. IT'S quite sight
sort of inspiring.
You'll find the office on the second
floor OF the state house around back OF
the Senate chamber. On the door Is
sign, Printing Commissioner. He IL
the engineer of the dope machine.
Walk right in and tell him you want 70
see II work He is an accommodating
sort of a cuss in this respect. and
doesn't seem to mind q bit the state
paying the postage on his dope. He
will take his position In front of the
typewriter-the machine. not female
and glance out OF the window. This
glance is to gain inspiration. Having
devated the proper amount OF time to
getting the inspiration on = momsn-
tous subject. he turns to the machine
and dashes off an article somsthing
like this:
THE WORLDS GREATEST WON
pER-JlMMiE, SECRETARY OF
6TATE.
Jimmie Nolan, the amiable and
courteous secretary OF state. who
should be reelected without oppo-
sitioa, yesterday issued automo-
bile license No. 6S4.332. Probably
never In the history OF the state
has there been a man in this all
important office who was able to
accomplish this wonderful feat SO
skillfully and SO completely to the
satisfaction of the people. Mr..
Hiram Ram of Pumpkinvllle. who
received the license for his new
flivyer, remarked to Jimmie be-
fore leaving that the ability of the
secretary of state had won his
admiration. and that in the future
he would vote nothing but = Dem
ocratic ticket although his ances-
tors as far back as William Pitt.
had been straight Republicans.
Something OF the real clever
ness of Jimmie will be gained
from the statement that on add
ing the figures which go to make
up this license number. he found
they totaied the mystic ga The
people OF Colorado should appreci-
ate the worth OF such public ser
want as this
Having carefully read this effort
and made few minor corrections.
knowing from past experience the
Democratic papers will print 1t. the
press agent feels he has won not less
than 34.56s votes for Nolan in the
coming election. He again glarces out
of the window. All Inspirations como
through that window. It's going to
raise thunder with the Democratic
party II some one moves the window.
Then he turns again to his trusty ma
chine and dashes off something like
this:
ABILITY AND BRAINS ARE
ALWAYS FOUND IN THIS OFFICE.
Auditor Charley Leckenby on
reaching his office one morning
last week found sixteen warrants
on his desk for his signature. After