davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1918-03-30

EYES," Growtsch groaned. "and It's
that darned doctors fault
''The doctors fault? Why, l
thought you said he was curing you
of your rheumatism. He failed, did
he?"
mo, he didn't He cured me of it
plum cured me. And that's just the
trouble. didn't have any rheumatism
left, so / couldn't tell when 1t was go
ing to rain. So l went out without my
umbrella, and got soaking wet. and
got the rheumatism like I've got it
now"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1918-03-30
WORK

wCHN
These first
Bright days OF Spring
| hate to work
At anything.
And in the torrid
Days of Summer
I cannot work
I'm on the hummer.
And then. oh, then
Comes luscious Fall,
The time when I
Can't work at all.
And in the Winter
| somehow feel
That I can never
Turn a wheel.
Don Marquis
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1918-03-30
SST1lO1PSiHEJS j ! / 3

He called on his old friend, De
Growtsch, and found him all crippled
up with rheumatism.
"Why, this is too bad" he exclaim-
ed sympathetically. Sorry to find
you suffering like this!"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1918-03-30

From the time that the memory of
man runneth not to the contrary,
Elmer e. Eggemeyer has been Rich
mond's chief supporter of the Cincin-
natl Reds of the National League. He
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1918-03-30

lost flat brown pocketbook. Lots of
us have got pocketbooks that answer
the same description-with the accent
on the flat.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
Behold the 'Tuckahoe

We hope our poets will nightly sing
the deed. Yesterday from the Camden
yards the new cargo steamer the
Tuckahoe, $500 tons burden, was
launched in twenty-seven days and few
hours from the time its keel was laid.
Its engines and boilers were in place, its
smokestack and it's masts erected.
In another twenty three days or less,
if all goes we'll, its fittings will be CON-
plete, it's equipment finished and the
Tuckahoe will sail down the Delaware
under its own steam and out on the
bounding main.
If this is true, the record in the con-
struction time of completed steel ves-
sci of any such dimensions will, we be-
lieve, have been more than cut in half
1t is feat of which engineering and in
dustrial America may we'll be proud.
This vessel was built in the yards of
the New York Shipbuildng Company,
and this is in turn a part of the Ameri-
can international Corporation, which is
building the famous yards at Hog Island
now soon to be complete. and already
with ships under construction, although
the yard itself-a little more than six
months ago-was deserted mud fiat.
While this work at Hog Island was in
progress it was assailed by a United
States Senator and others as "wild
saturnalia of extravagance-a phantas-
magoria of patriotic pretence." 1t seems
unfolding as the most brilliant page in
latter day American shipbuildng.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06

Mr.. Record imagines it is still popular
to ncite raid on this Rockefeller wealth
No human being has ever shown a way
to confiscate or "conscript" wealth with
out bringing on the economic ruin of the
people who try it, And Mr.. Record
knows no way.
No one can have any quarrel with The
Tribune who wishes to increase war
taxes to a practicable limit. That we
believe in. But, at best, all experience
goes to show that this can never reach
more than fourth or a third Of the
amount needed. In the eighteen years Of
the Napoeonic wars England did raise
by taxation some 43 per cent Of her out
lay. But that was a record, and due to
a slow and protracted struggle. 1t can
not now raise much over 90 per cent by
even the drastic taxes Mr. Record speaks
of. Nor can we. 1t is not a question Of
economies or morals or "justice,' but of
pure expediency-that is to say, of popu-
lar psychology. An attempt to levy ten or
fifteen billions Of taxes even on this rich
and bursting nation would wreck the eco
nomic and political structures. Where,
then, shall we get the rest? By popular
loans, as all the nations have done.
Should Mr.. Record or any of his neigh
bors receive higher rate of interest
than Mr.. Rockefeller or Henry Ford? Or
should they have no interest while the
others do?
Mr.. Record tries to sow ill-feeling by
saying you shall not conscript young men
and not Mr.. Rockefeller's wealth. We
have tried to show that practically all of
Mr.. Rockefellers wealth, like that of Mr..
Ford and all rich men, is now in the SER
vice of the nation and that it cannot be
otherwise
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
The Persian, Rug
(from The ViAager)

~ uRING the past month a party of
4 D Persian parliamentarians has been
entertained at Berlin, to which pur
pose we can readily guess At meetir.
OF the German Persian Society in honor
of the Eastern guests Herr Nadolny, Coun-
sellor OF Legation at Teheran, expressed the
expectation that latter the Russian wall in
the north of Persia has been burst we may
hope also that the English wall in the south
will be broken through ard that German
labor will succeed in entering by the
breach, thus contributing to the prosperous
development of Persia"
And at the last meeting of the Munich
Geographical Society it was announced that
number of German propagandists were
shortly expected, having been released by
the collapse of the Russian army among
them being Professor E. Zugmeyer. who "al-
most three years ago was intrusted with
an important mission in Persia" which was
cut short by "the cooperation of Russia and
England in Persia" These are mere straws.
but they serve TO make a little more reaf to
our vision the danger of which Lloyd
George spoke on Tuesday "There is
menace" said the Premier, "to our East
ern empire through Persia, because through
Persia you approach Afghanistan and
through Afghanistan you menace the whole
of India"
1t is unfortunate that general opinion,
particularly in this country, has not been
educated to know correctly what the Eng
lisE Premier and what President Wilson
mean when they speak of the looming peril
from Germanys push toward India. The
events which have transpired in the East
IN the past six months have been largely
viewed by the public as isolate happenings,
instead Of important steps in Germanys
Drang mach Osten programme. But the
German public has not been so naive; it
could see more than Ukraine in the treaty
with Ukraine. Cut anywhere into the great
mass of propaganda which 1914 produced
and you will find no lack in very early
understanding of what possibilities could
be offered the Fatherland by break-np
of Russia.
THE simplest connection of Europe with
lndla,' wrote DR.. Eugen l.ewicky, member
of the Reichsrat, as long since as 1918,
would surely be a connection from Berlin
through Ukraine, by way of the Volga and
ural districts through Afghanistan TO Pun
Jab (the northwest province of India). And
II such connection ever should take place.
then Ukraine would become a Transit-Land
one of the most powerful arteries of the
worlds communication, with the greatest
significance in trade relations indeed. q
mighty politicocommercia bridge between
Central Europe and Asia" (Ukraine, der
Lebensner Russlands: Lewicky. Stutt-
gart, 1879 India is, of course, England's
concern, but Germany's designs on India
and all that lies between are the worlds
concern; as the President has said, they
look to IAN empire as hostile 10 the Amer
icas as to the Europe which it will over
awe"
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
In Dissolution

One thing Stands out clearly in Pre-
mier Won Seydlers jumbled statement
of the reasons for dissolving the Aus
trian Reichsrat. The crisis in Vienna
has been only secondarily economic. 1t
has been primarily POLITICAL 1t was
brought about by an acute revival of
racial antagonisms and ambitions.
The whole structure of the Dual Mon
archy has been undermined by the war.
AS the empire has grown weaker the
pressure for political readjustments has
increased. The Slav elements have been
emboldened by the general discomfort
and war weariness to move openly for
the creation of third imperial state
to be formed by a union of the Slav
provinces of Austria and Hungary
In the Austrian Reichsrat the German
element is IN minority. Any ministry
TO retain power, must make concessions
to the Slav groups. Therefore, the
Relchsrat is continual thorn in the
flesh to the ruling house and it's cabi-
nets. The only recourse when the Par
lament becomes too unruly is to make
use of the imperial power of proroga-
ton.
There are wheels within wheels in the
situation at Vienna The Hapsburp
rulers would probably not be averse to
setting UP third Slav state. The Arch
duke Ferdinand openly favored trinle
monarchy. But he thereby earned the
undylng hatred of the Hungarians. for
to Hungary the thought of surrenderine
its Slav dependencies is ranking and
intolerable
Most of the Germans in Austria have
long realized that they were succumb-
ing to the pressure of the Slavs. They
would easily resign themselves to a
segregation of the Austrian Slay prov
lnces, SINCE that would, at least, make
the diminished kingdom of Austria again
strongly German
But the Hungarians arc of fiercer
mettle. Though themselves a minority
IN Hungary, they want to nerpetuato
their ancient mastery of the nom Map-
var SUBJECT races. And since Hungary
IS now the main prop Of the monarchv
so far as the prosecution of the war ;s
concerned, the Emperor Karl cannot
afford to infuriate the Magyars by coun-
tenancing movement for the erection
OF an autonomous Slav kingdom.
ustria-Hungary is not unified
state. 1t is loose collocation of races
and nationalities. European statesmen
used to hold that if this conglomcration
had not existed it would have had to he
invented But the war has put an i'm
possible strain on the loose joints of the
Dual Monarchy. Its bonds are being
loosened. Even were the Allies to aban.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
Buy the Mail Tubes

Postmaster General Burleson's opposi-
ton to the mail tubes is as impenetrab,e
as 1t is persistent. Whether or not his
attempt to influence the Senate against
the recommendation that the government
acquire the tubes was unfair, as Senator's
Bankhcad, Hardwick and Weeks insist II
overlooked too many essential points in
the controversy to be deemed accurate.
There has been no official report
against the use Of the tubes, as these
Senators point out, by any of the five
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06

Congressional committees which at va
rious times have investigated the desira-
biilty of maintaining them. None of Mr..
Burleson's predecessors has taken the
stand ne takes. In the cities where the
tubes are in use there is unanimous senti
ment on the part of commercial and civic
organizations and business men in gen
eral against the abandonment of the
surest and most rapid method of trans
mitting first-class mail. Protest is in
vaiably against the substitution for them
of the uncertain automobile trucks; which
gers of street traffic.
The latest investigation by Congress
committee was full and fair The Post
office Department was adequately repre-
sented and full consideration was given
to Mr.. Burleson's point of view. In the
face Of this the committee reported in
favor of government capture Of the tubes,
under proper safeguarding as to valu-
alton and the terms Of purchase. Under
the circumstances this ought to be con-
elusive. The mail service is bad enough
now. Business men all over the country
are complaining Of inordinate delay in
the handling of their letters. If Mr..
Burleson had his way this delay, which
now hampers the transaction of business
and costs the merchants and bankers and
manufacturers Of the country much
money, would become very much worse.
The mail tubes are necessity, not
luxury. If Congress deems them too
costly when they are rented, its commit
tee has pointed out the remedy
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
Censorship or Blacklist?

no sensible person will dispute the ne
cesslty for a mail censorship in time of
war. Every nation which is waging war
IN earnest has such censorship 1t is
military instrumentality.
Congress is right in seeking to impose
censorship on all mail matter But tho
censorship contemplated in the sedition
bill conference report which the Senate
adopted on Saturday departs widely
from the normal military form. From
the military point of view it defeats its
own ends. If government opens all
mail before delivery it may thereby gain
much information Of value in tracing es-
pionage and disaffection. 1t is enabled
by passing letters of dubious character
to encourage responses which may great.
ly facilitate its Secret Service work.
Enemy agents and sympathizers arc
often indiscreet
But by refusing to deliver and return
ing unopened mail from a suspected
source enemy activities are simply di-
rected into more secret channels. Be
sides, an unwarranted discretion is left
IN the hands of the Postmaster General.
This may be used for political rather
than military purposes. The Postoffice
Department is relieved by the conference
report from the necessity Of piecing to-
gethcr case against a seditious user Of
the mails. 1t may simply, of it's OWE
Volition, close the mails to anybody whom
it chooses to put on an Office blacklist.
Mr. Burleson has not shown the quail
ties or the temperament to fit him for
the post Of official blacklister He is i'm
petuous and far from unprejudiced in
his judgments. He is often impatient Of
legal restraints. An administration by
him Of the postal provisions of the Sc
dition act would certainly not inspire
public confidence.
If Congress sticks to the plan of boy
cotting certain users of the mails instead
of censoring all mail matter, it should at
least put the power of boycott which it
confers into the hands of commission
composed Of distinguished citizens whose
freedom from political and partisan bias
is universally recognized. The authority
granted by the pending conference re-
port is extremely broad and arbitrary.
1t should be exercised only by men OF
the highest reputation for fairness and
judicial balance.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
"Krupp." Says the Kaiser
tFrom The Ep.poria Gazette

VF7OW TIC LOEpOFtH GLEtFft5 4
Next to getting the war over. probso's
the chief interest in life now is to discover
the real inventor of the much heraided long
range gun. The latest claimants Of the IN
vention are two Spaniards, who say they
peddled their invention over the country pc
fore they were able to sell it to the krupps.
Other inventors have been discovered
Cleveland, Buffalo, Rochester and poinu
East. Because of time required Tor sn9|
transmission of mail. New Zealand. Nyss.S
saland, the Upper Yukon and hamchssa'.
have not reported.
All together now, who did Il
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
MIR. George L. Records Surplus
Wealth Again

In spite Of The Tribune's good offices,
Mr.. George L. Record, candidate for SEN
ator in New Jersey, seems still imbued
with the idea that there are vast sums
of surplus wealth lying around idle, and
that all we have to do to finance the
war (and to bring in the millennium is
for the government to seize it. The gov
we print in part this morning, to seize the
factories and mines where this wealth
may be concealed, but the wealth itself.
For example:
"The government would levy tax Of
say $50 200, 900 on Mr.. Rockefeller and he
would proceed to raise it exactly as he
now proceeds to raise any sum of money
when he goes into an enterprise, to wit:
by selling his securities in the market
and, if not, by putting up securities in the
bank as collateral for q loan."
Probably it would quite disgust Mr..
Record to be told that he is here propos-
ing to finance the war, not by Increased
taxation, but by pure inf1aton but that
is the fact.
We pointed out before that a billion
dollars of securities could not now be
sold in the market in any twelve months
without disastrous effect upon security
prices and possible panic. Mr.. Record
may or may not know this, but it is a
fact. So the only other way of econ
scripting" this "wealth" is, as Mr.. Record
indicates, to go to the bank. But bank
loans now are much expanded and can
only increase by rediscounts at the
Federal Reserve banks. Redlscounts
have increased by billion dollars in a
year, and, as we have pointed out, prac-
tically every dollar of this is initiation,
because it has meant no corresponding
increase IN the nations product of goods.
This product, in bushels, tons, yards
and gallons of goods, was, as we have
shown, less in 1912 than in 1916. Prices
and bank clearings went up, but the
actual output Of steel and most basic
products was slightly lower.
In other words, the productive capac-
lty of the nation is now, and has been
for two years, practically at the limit.
Labor is 100 per cent employed. SO all
that Mr.. Rockefeller's loans would do
would be to expand bank credits-that is
to say, the business currency of the
country-and this could now only send
prices and the cost of living still higher,
increase the unrest of labor and de-
crease its efficiency.
Is this what Mr.. Record wants? 1t is
not. What Mr.. Record tends to do is to
SOW discomfort and dissension at a time
when we need all the nations energies
and determination for the bitter business
of WAR.
Mr.. Record refuses to picture a popu
llstic raid on Mr.. Fords fortune, al
though it may now be greater than Mr..
Rockefeller's. Why? Because every man
Jack In the country knows that Henry
Ford has done great industrial and
public service, from which the whole ma
tion benefits. And all his wealth is so
employed.
So is Mr.. Rockefeller's wealth produc
lively employed, for that is the only way
outside of stock gambling that great
fortune can be made to earn income. But
Mr.. Rockefeller rose to riches when
trust Dersonihed all things evil, and
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06

don their plans for the liberation of the
oppressed non~German and non Magyar
elements, the monarchy, with its present
organization, would hardly outlast the
war. 1t belongs to the past. And in it's
case the war has already set UP hard
and fast barrier between the past and
the future.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
Burning Thoughts on Coal
{ From The petrnft A

'from The Detroit Ec,os>
AS for the
Coal situation,
This is it:
Take what
You can ret
When you
Can get it
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06

Nou purchase merchandise advertised In 'he
TRIBUNE with absolute safeHfor II dlssatsfacton re-
suits In any case TIE TRBUhE guarantees to pay your
money back request. No red taps Nv ouiob''ns.
We mako good promptly if the advertiser does not.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED rREss

WLMBER OF TIE A>SUtIAEf I'D INESS
Tie Associated Press exclusively entitled 10 the use
nj repubca;ion dispatches credited to it
not oherwsc~~<editcd in this and also the local
Of spont&ncouA origin published herein
All rights Of republication Of all other matter herein
reserved.
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
MONDAY, MAY 6, 1918

Owned published daily by Tho Tribune Association
New York Corporation Ogden Reid President u
Vernon Rogers Richard H. Lee Secretary:
r. A. Sntcf rrcasure- Address Tribune Bntoins io4
Nassau Street. New York. Telephone, Beekfnan SVoV
SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By Mall Postage Paid. out
side Ncw York
IN THE UNITED STATES OUTSIDE OF GREATER
NEW YORK
M 6 mo 2 mo !
DAILY ara SNn6ay.. - ~ $50 So az
Daily only ...........t-.-. 100 s5o 10 w
sNiid1g eisis ~" ''''
CANADIAN RATES
naily and SUNDAY. .Slooo 500 $40 lec co
psiiy only ..-...... ,....... go 3ou % w
Sunday only .-.--.-.---+-.t "uu sf'V $50 -FN
FOREIGN RATES
Daily and Sunday s2Aoo w 10 sb.vo %
i3a;Iy ONLY = w eo
sunday oniy '.VO -" 4-'' 'N'
Entered at tho ros'oaco New York Second Glass
Mail Matter
New-York tribune., 1918-05-06
GUkRaN TEE

Entered at thc ros'oricc New York as Second cla
Mail Matter
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-04-24
EVERETT TRUE
IS OFFERED JOB
At COURTHOUSE

The following letter came 20 us
this morning:
MIR. Everett True. care Of Seattle
Star.
Dear MIR True. There In little
job at the county-city building which
needs your urgent attention.
There In "a person who hovcra
about the county auditors office,
waiting for bashful couples Ia apply
for marriage licenses. You can pick
them mile off 40 his work ia easy.
when he spots "a couple he swoops
down aud horns in a young cou-
pie getting license ia scared 10
death. any way. so they take IL for
granted this person ~ attached to
the county auditors force.
Ills next move In 90 rush them
across the street 0f he cam To "A mar.
ryin' parson.'
When the knot is tied. II n sup
posed 20 be worth s. or 80. and the
delighted groom usually comes thru
60 that extent II IN supposed that
the parson and this person split
$3.50.
1T seems shame baahful couple
cannot obtain license without be-
ing annoyed or "railroadcd" thru
the ordeal even tho u II done skin.
fully and with a minimum Of pain 10
all parties. The SKIN undoubtedly
comes from repeated experiences
each day.
AS there seems TO he no way OF
stopping this practice. Il looks az II
II IL up 20 YOU. MIR True
Respectfully
"OLD CONSTANT READER"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-04-24
ACTRESS GIVES RECIPE
FOR GRAY HAIR
A Well.Known Actress Tells How to
Darker Gray Hair With Simple
Home Made Mixture

Joicey Williams. the well-known
American actress. who was recently
playing at the Imperial Theatre in
ST. Louis. Mo. made the following
statement about gray hair and how
to darken IL:
ANY one can prepare simple
mixture at home, at very little cost.
that will darken gray, streaked or
faded hair. and make IL soft and
glossy. To a half pint OF water. add
! ounce OF bay rum. small box OF
Barbo Compound, and u ounce OF
glycerine. These ingredients can be
bought at any drug store at very 1T
tie cost, or any druggist can put II
up for you. Apply TO the hair twice
a week until the desired shade is OBJ
tanned. This will make gray
haired person look 20 years younger.
II does not color the scalp, is not
sticky or greasy and does not rub Off.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-04-24
DESCENDANTSOF
GERMANS SEND
IN SMOKE coin

Away back. four or five genera
lions ago. had German ancestor.
and the names stiil with me" Aaron
Herr says. but I'm good Amcri'
can. and my money IN for the boys
who are fighting for un over there.
i've contributed 90 our Boys In
France Tobacco Fund before. and |
know that that money goes where IL
takes n heap Of comfort with IL.
The boys always send me card
whom they get the tobacco. and then
know they have H.
Som. Of tho cards are interesting.
too. Here n one that cam. from Pri.
vatc John Shut. Company /, 2sth
infantry. in France;
Friend:
To make mo glad. you've done your
part.
You've filled with Joy a soldiers
heart
Some day back home III surely go
To you my thanks then will
show d"
The boys don't all write verse 20
express their thanks. but the thanks
ar" there. just tho same II any one
should doubt II. Just read this letter
from W. q. Porter.
Gentlemen: You can tell the world
TIA, am some pleased with your
Christmas smokes My heartlest
thanks
Following II n list Of contributors.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1918-04-24


WITH THE SIMPLE VII
Layers IN NEW JERSEY. April
2s--The first German invasion OF
American soil resulted in the total
Generalization OF the enemy force
today.
The casualties included Kaiser
Wilhelm and his fiv. sons. The en-.
gag.m~nt will so down In history
as the battle OF Fort lee.
The Inhabitants OF the peaceful
countryside were startled by the
tread of martial feet. Prering from
their windows. they discovered tho
road filled with soldiers wearing the
gray uniforms and spiked helmets Of
the Hun. At their head strobe the
chief Hun and IN. whole male por
ton OF his family Did the villagers
shout some Am.rioanlxed version Of