davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08
"LovE THAT sUBDUES EARTH"
Robert G. IngersoII's Beautiful Trib.
ute to Women Has Been Sur
passed by Few Writers.

1t takes hundred men to make
an encaInpment, but one woman can
make home. / not only admire
woman as the most beautiful object
ever created, but / reverence her as
the redeeming glory of humanity, the
sanctuary Of all the virtues, the pledge
of all perfect qualities Of heart and
head. 1t is not just nor right to lay
the sins Of men at the feet of women.
It is because women are so much
better than men that their faults are
considered greater. A mans desire is
the foundation of his love, but wom-
ans desire is born Of her love. The
one thing in this world that Is con.
stant, the one peak that rises above
all clouds, the one window In which
the light forever burns, the one star
that darkness cannot quench, is wom-
ans love.
1t rises to the greatest heights, It
sinks to the lowest depths. 1t forgives
the most cruel injuries. 1t is peren-
nial of life ard grows in every climate.
Neither coldness nor neglect, harsh
ness nor cruelty, can extinguish it. A
woman's love is the perfume of the
heart. This is the real love that SUBJ
dues the earth the love that has
wrought all miracles of art that gives
us music all the way from the cradle
song to the grand closing symphony
that bears the soul away on wings Of
fire. A love that is greater than pow
er, sweeter than life and stronger than
death.-Robert G. Ingersoll.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Resentment on the part Of a man
taken into custody under mlsapprehen-
sion In the registration roundup is
not surprising. No sound-minded
American likes to be mistaken for a
Stacker.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Considering some of the concoctions
imported from Germany under the
name Of sausage It is not surprising
that the Teutons have been so success
full in the devlsing Of obnoxious gases.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Not the least significant sign of our
will to win is the zeal with which the
American people respond to every re-
quest of the government to save, serve
or sacrifice. Such spirit is invinci-
Bile.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

A good punishment for the kaiser
would be to collect all the mean news
paper paragraphs that have been writ.
ten about him In American papers and
make him read them.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

In spite of all the strafing that has
been directed against them at home,
the De Haviland fours seem to be do
Ing their share of strafing the Germans
1t the front.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08
SUM MONS.

In the Circuit Court of the State of
Oregon, for Umatilla County.
Genevieve 7. Barnes, Plaintiff,
VS..
Ora ee Barnes, Defendant . ,.
To Ora Lee Barnes, Defendant above
named:
In the name of the State of Oregon,
you are hereby requested to appear
and answer the complaint of the
plaintiff filed against you in the above
entitled suit and court within six
weeks of the date of the first publica.
tion of this summons towit: on Of
before Saturday, the 18th dav of No.
vember. l9ls and you will take not
ice that if you tail to answer or other
wise plead thereto within said time thu
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

There is some curiosity as to what
will come out when the various words
necessary to express "irreducible mini
mum" are culled out Of the German
vocabulary and linked together for
official use.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

We are threatened with woman bar
bers, now. VIII It be possible for
women to learn that razors are to
shave with rather than to cut laun-
dry soap and corns and sharpen pen.
cils?
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

There is no substitute for milk as
a food for growth. Portland mothers
should make drive on fathers purse
10 the extent of one ogaTt = ->s:a pnr
"av for averv child" >"S"''
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

President Wilson points out that the
whole nation is now enlisted in the
acapse Of liberty. And when hun
IRE zaQillion people enlist in any cause
s<1Ieihipg is bound to happen.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The only thing regrettoble about the
return of the oyster season is that
somebody is bound to refer to it as
the "succulent bivalve."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Berlin newspapers no doubt made
the most Of the way this country
qualled under the terrors Of a pos
sible shortage Of confectionery and Ice
cream soda water. ~
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Paris papers urge the French brides
Of American soldiers to demand that
their husbands remain In France when
The war Is over. Now let us observe
which Is boss--a French bride or an
American soldier.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Ukulele players are to help with the
Liberty loan drive, despite the popular
opinion that ukulele playing is nom
senslcal--beg pardon, nonessential-
industry.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The more physicians called to the
service, the more necessary II becomes
for the public to forget its imaginary
ailments. get some healthful exercise
and keep generally in good physical
condition.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

BY cutting out gasoline on Sunday
and avoiding the dusty roads the
American proletariat will have no
further use for the Saturday bath.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Nero fiddled while Rome was burn
Ing and now Prince Rupprecht comes
along and devotes his time to love
making while his army is having the
daylights kicked out of It.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

These are times when the Stacker
and the conscientious objector are en-
tlrely In sympathy with the feminine
reluctance to tell ones age.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08
SCHOOL DISTRICT BUDGET I.

TO the Clerk Of School District No. %,
Umatilla County, Oregon:
Following is statement of the es-
timated amount of money needed by
the district during the fiscal year be-
ginning on June 18th, 1918, and end
ing on June 80, 1918. This budget is
made in compliance with Section 217
of the School Laws of 1917, and in
cludes the estimated amounts to be
received from the county school fund,
state school fund, special district tax
and all other moneys of the district:
BUDGET
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

They say jokes never die but since
all the express companies have been
merged that one about Eve being Gre
ated for Adams express company will
simply have to pass.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The weather man could make q
great hit by arranging all thunder
storms this season for Sunday, when
nobody cares any more.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Army recruiting officers have very
properly become as reassuring about
middle-aged mans prospects Of life
as an insurance agent selling an en-
dowment policy.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The promise that no more wheat
flour win be used to make dynamite is
all right, but 1t says nothing OF what
may be used to make wheat flour.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The boy now doing so gioriously in
France will be surprised when he
opens a fat official package from
Washington, expecting citation, and
fin'is an extra income tax assessment.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Soldiers in France are crying as one
man for plenty Of dill pickles. Thus
are oil boarding school girls trium-
phantly vindlcated.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

'e|is costing above 81 a pair are
1c taxed, whieh--unless the two.
Ut kind have gone up In the last few
Sdays--ls nothing whatever in the
young life Of the male majority.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The nice thing about the crop spec
ulator's strategy is that he doesn't
care whether It's drought or too much
rain that Injuries crops or car short
age.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

In addition to all the other food
substitutes the German newspapers
are now feeding their readers on punk
substitutes for news.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

What has become of the old-fash-
ioned farmer who used to have
gorgeous pipe dreams Of dollar
wheatT
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

If the English drive along much
further we shall all be obliged to
learn how to pronounce the names Of
a whole lot of new towns.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The government last year coined
445,000,000 cents. Wen say that folks
who have been taking care OF the
pennies have their hands full.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Most every good American mother
who didn't raise her boy to be SOL
!dier raised him to be sIilor in these
days.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

By giving your auto rest on Sum-
day you will also be giving one to
your friends In the country.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

American soldiers show deficiency.
nccordlng u the crown prince. Com
slierIns tlie fars tbat ne himself a.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Conservation is the All-American job
an army of four million soldiers
must be fed from this years crop.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The Liberty loan is more than a
loan; 1t is the gift of permanent free
dom to the world.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08
supposed to hnve several cylinders
missing the remark is about what one
would expect

The air mail may In time become a
possible competitor Of the freight
schedules.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Mutton is now cheaper than most
meats, but usually there Is none when
one goes to buy it.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

A few Liberty bonds put away for
Christmas presents will meet all OBJ
jections to useless giving.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The income taxpayer gets no SYM
pathy. The larger the tax the more
eBviable is the privilege of paying 1t.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

Every man has a talent Of some
kind and this is the tl,ie when the
country can use every mans talent
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

The 1918 food reserve is the only
safe insurance for 1919 food supplies.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-11-08

"a. Total estimated amount
of money to be ex-
pended for all pur-
poses during the
year ............$15,2O 5,2O5.OO
Estimated Receipts.
From county school fund
during the coming school
year d. ................s 100000
From state school fund dur
ing the coming school year $1,000
Cash now in the hands of the
district clerk .......... $500
Estimated amount to be re-
ceived from all other sour
| ces during the coming
school year, county high
| school tuition fund ..... 10000
Total estimated receipts, not
including the money to be
received from the tax
which it is proposed to
vote .................s 2,9O5.OO
RecapitulatiOn. ...
Total estimated expenses for
the year ............$15,2O5.OO 90
Total estimated receipts, not
including the tax to be
voted ..........A... 2,905.O
Balance, amount to be raised
by district tax ...... $50. SIP, 800 90
Dated this oath day of October,
1918.
B. B. RICHARDS,
NJ. L. WATTS,
A. R. COPPOCK,
Board of Directors School District
No. 29,
The evening world., 1918-06-15

~ KBRBoOTCH! Which is a liberal translation OF the Eskimo
(that Is, II any Eskimo was ever uberaD expression jazzbo,
- meaning TO grab two tens for a five. 1t looks as II old George
Public Is scheduled to be skerbootched again Amt been so much
agitation since Hanks peace boat turned out TO be a hivver. A Hr'
yard professor caromed into Congress- and barked louder than one of
those Skoda guns The old boy wants TO blk Congress into smearing
war taxes O gasoline when drunk for pleasure purposes, high silk
hats on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, pet goldfish kept in
aquarrums with wheelbases over 120 inches and Imitation sealsktn
earmuns
The Harvard bird also thinks there should be a battle tax ON
wives and other nonessentias. Fair enough. Even a Harvard pro
lessor can't guess wrong all the time.
whattzmore. the old Harvard goof aims to toss a skirmish tax on
an plump gentlemen who wear both suspenders and a belt He chirps
that any fat rascal who ar afford to wear ganuses and a belt at the
same time a also AFFORD to cough UP a battle tax. That's the second
time the Harvard lad swatted the Holstein in the eye. Ganuses and
a belt at the same time are extravaganza during war times. Nobodys
pants deserves that luxury. Don't pamper your trousers while the
Nation Is at war.
But while some portion OF the war tax menu is fair enough, there
lint much nutrition in the rest OF it Everything has gone nm like a
thermometer in Hades Even the whistle on a peanut stand is consid
cred a luxurious noise. Celuloid villains are being slaughtered in
six episodes Before the war busted out, the movie villains never
There are now three omeettes to every egg. The tall nriccs are 1at
can't spoil your appetite II you haven't any.
The tonsorial department u the strategy board has nat wheeled
into the tax line No more excursion rates for touneys in the old
swivel chair. Barber refuses 70 scald your face with an ncandescent
towel for less than a smooth dime piece. Before the war, If you can
remember that ar back The chin butchers used to burn your mug
gratis. In the good old days your barber used to remove uoles. warts
ears and other superhuous growths free of charge. Do you remember
l4ovs s;s.:eI- :cy -csng!ct a,y=: c25 =oss:e Mt -:..:oA.zs .o--
The evening world., 1918-06-15
BY ARTHUR C"BUGS'') BAER.


co. (The Now YORK Evening Worldly.
memory that far Ia that It Is liable to ny back and knock you loose
from your hat
II the BARRIERS have their way. and they viii. It VIII cost half an
iron man to have your toupee moved. And two bits to have your
chin lawn clipped. That's two bits a chin. which Ia tough IN Bill
Taft and the other multiple chinnod gents. II you have any extra
hedges running from your ears to your collar button they will be taxed
extra Rough work on the backs OF necks Will be slightly cheaper, and
Adams apples Will be knocked of for a dollar a dozen.
The old dish hair cut which consisted Of sapping a vacant coup
tureen on your skull and then baraging the result with oyster
shells, will be jumped to the orthodox Interstate Commerce rates OF 3
cents a mile for commuters and 4 cents for citizens. The Swanpoodle
or broken bottle hair trim win De erased from the almanac. The
swampoOdle wool clip originated about the same time as the marriage
ceremony, owing to the cave wives quaint custom OF starting n cave
argument by grabbing their cave husbands by the hair and tossing
EN- for a goal.
A facial massage under straight Marquis OF Queenkberry rules win
Dr. hoped 10 per cent. and tonic will be assessed a jitney extra
Figuring on the new battle prices. a workngman will be able IN
clauer past the old red and white pole about once every Halleys comet
Anybody with a borrowed grass cutter ought to pick up a corpulent
living going around scalping his neighbours skulls
Kuss that Kaiser, anyway!
With haircuts nifty seeds a throw and shavepieces twenty I'VE
meps a copy. the only tonic We will be able TO afford Is a little ether
with the check
Next!
The evening world., 1918-06-15

Greenwich Street This IN ~Old
Uncle Tow5' the oySterman who lived
in q shack on pies on what IL now
Benson AvenuA A crusty old Govt
IN life, Peter Mcbride. who was
known TO the baymen ~thereabouts by
tho moro descriptive cognomen be-
OF his white thatch and beard.
appears 10 have carried his Crouch
into tho neither world Of spirits with
him.
After -Uh Uncle Tow died two
brother oystermen jumped his oyster
beds. there being nc heirs 10 contest
their larceny. They spent a night In
the bleak shack where a few weeks
before the body Of tho reciuse had
been found guarded by q gaunt New
~toundland dog. Then the spirit Crouch
wreaked his vengeance upon these
two oyster saunttera
The lamp suddenly went out. though
there was no wind stirring: ghostly
finger nails raped ON the single
smeared window pane; a sutteral
chuckle sounded from the rafters.
There va q hump-thump humping.
Just IKE a dog scratching leas.- as
ono OF tho Adventures afterwnrd de-
scribed the noise. Both fed
After the report Of Uncle lows
haunt" had become common a party
OF young men thought the best finish
TO q wild night in Rockaway beer halls
would be an adjournment to the
haunted oysterman's cabin. They
went there But they came away
more nearly sober than any had been
in weeks and a temperance r~evivalist
who happened TO be holding forth In
Rockaway at that time made a prom
Using cleaning OF brands from the
burning.
All OF which recalls the haunted
brewery which used to stand at
Georgia and Liberty Avenues In
Brooklyn. These were German ghosts
no less; more dangerous than other
kinds because OF their peculiar meth
DDS OF frishtfulnesS. Beginning with
a German count who opened his veins
in a back room OF the brewery. there
was a succession OF German suicides
including the proprietor. which ciut-
tered the place with wailing Teutonic
ghosts The accursed building was
torn down several years ago
True to the city's cosmopolitan pop
ulaton. the ghostly census includes a
Chinese girl. or Bow Kun. the plum
blossom. lobbygows mt SNOW boys
in the city's yellow triangle still do
talk. though she was murdered ten
years age.
Bow Kun had the misfortune 70
find herself the prize for which rival
tongs elected to fight II out in the last
real Chinatown scrap on record. She
was a slave girl and beautiful, ac-
cording to the standards of Kwang-
tung- She died with a knife In her
heart one night up on Pell Street.
Now of Sun nights the ghosiy tin
kle of her three stringed guitar ioats
over the huddled roofs of the Celes-
uals, and they who hear hasten 10 set
out rice cups and smoking punks be-
fore a neglected joss.
The evening world., 1918-06-15

that he wanted to get the three sr~
vice stripes for his TWO and n haf
years at the front put on his new una-
form. so Mollie said. I told him 30
get II done and l would pay for It. and
IL made him so happy
"Tho French soldiers Mra
Churchill adds expianatoriiy. -ars
paid 4 sous. or 4 cents a day. so I'M
less they have families 20 do things
for them. their marrdines are q god
send. He looks upon Mollies a. Q
fairy godmother."
They took him TO the moving peo-
lures and TO Luna Park, TO a -Faar
pour 10 Soldat." ''and Mol enjoyed q
all as much as ne did" records Mrn
Churchill. And she bought him an
| electric pocket light which made him
perfectly happy. When he left sbo
gave him n pacquet TO take back with
him. with socks. tobacco. cigarettes
crackers, jam and conserveA. I hated
to have him go back"
The charming. unusual relationship
persisted. Hand knit American socks.
pink pajamas. sweaters, cigarettes
and othor SITS Travelled regularly
| from the little American girl to her
flIeuI In the trenches And though hs
went 20 the hospital. was gassed. and
had three eye operations. he came
back safely for another turiough Inst
January to play checkers with his M
tie American fairy godmother. II n q
pretty story OF the new. tender and
generous relationships created by mo
war.
Mrs. Churchill offers n especially
sage bit OF counsel in "You Who Can
| Help" The paragraphs am about
to quote might be headed you who
can't help"
-All the women and girls know I'd
home. who are not over here. have
written asking me 10 send for them"
M SAYS. They'd better stay where
they are. and keep up their god
work at that end, and prepare Tor
what Is before them. in caring for or
own conyalescent. blind and mutt-
lated. That has got TO come. and tho
work OF mat kind will not all be hero
in France. They'd best leave their
| share OF food here for some mar who
mas 20 DO here.
'"Phousands OF women are ar living.
and such "A collection. Many havo
never stirred from their home Towns
| before, and | think It is a crime tho
way ali these young girls are nocAdng
over here. What their parents are
| thinking OF | don't know"
.You VINO Can Help" is publiSha1
! ~ S-an. MAYNARD A Co
The evening world., 1918-06-15
SLOW BUT SURE

THE telegraph messengeys at Ash
land, Ky, Gerald Tlfnrp. saw
the Western Union News. is ia
miliar with the principle embodied in
Ebert Hubbard's story. "a Message to
Garcia" although this will probably BE-
his first intimation that such a story
was ever written
A local ~confectioner called for a mes
senger to go out to a farmhouse for
two dozen eggs. Gerald was detailed
for the errand, which ordinarily would
consume thirty minutes. At the end o,
three hours he returned with the eggs
and was promptly called on the CARPET
by the manager to explain his long alb
n from the office. In a round Irish
brogue Gerald explained that the
farmer had only twenty three eev.
and he had waited two and one-baIt
hours for a Plymouth Rock 10 Law The
other egg. SN
Gerald refused to pose for his pboto-
graph ~