Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-10-04
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
Observation-Disclosures.

A group of women were sympa-
thizing over the affection of an alb
sent friend-her only son, who was
just twenty, had fallen into the
clutches of widow.
The woman doctor did little
mental arithmetic and computed
that the lady in question must be
twenty years the boys senior.
The writer of short stories had a
distinctly obituary note as she re-
marked: "They often go like that
in the first flower of their youth"
The statistican-a terrifying wo-
man who computed things for the
government that ran into billions
began an appalling talk that COM
menced: Statistics now prove that
the average male begins his roman
tic life by falling in love with a
woman twice his age"
When | awakened with a start
the woman playwright had the floor
She said: 1T would make a corking
good plot, the boy finds a heap Of
'mush' notes she had written to his
father in college, then he discovers
he has been in love with a sweet
young thing all along"
Some one groaned, and said that
the situation was very reminiscent
of the French farces of the last
generation. And two ladies present
who had never married, but were
welded to art, said they were glad
of it, that the responsibility of
bringing up boy and getting him
tn. uugh teething, college and his
first dinner jacket would have been
too much for them.
Then everyone looked solemn
and stared at the electric fan and
remembered nice things about Lit
tie Archie" when he was in knick-
erbockers. Little Archie was the
victim of the widows hfty-seven va
rieties OF cuteness, and we all felt
that some sort of expeditionary
force ought to be sent to rescue him
without delay.
Mother Delighted
Then the door opened and in
walked Archie's mother, looking ra-
diant. If she had got her lamb into
the diplomatic corps, or secured him
Carnegie pension, she could not
have appeared more delighted
Now don't all look as if you had
not been discussing the alleged
family tragedy" she began. Ar
chie's mother has the. disconcerting
frankness that comes from the
country west Of the Rockies, and
the truthfulness of her attack is Of
ten as startling as an epigram.
Il want to say" she began, with a
directness that is charactistic of her
we'll known blizzard state, that |
regard widow as highly valuable
post graduate course to the kinder
garten. A boy of twenty is bound
t. fall in love. 1t is as inevitable
as the safety razor we give him
about this time"
Everybody looked uncomfortable,
the hostess ordered tea, but the lady
from the blizzard state continued:
And a widow is the romantic
equivalent of the safety razor. She
tides over a delicate noviatate and
she keeps him from cutting himself.
If my boy were not making love to
her he would be making love to
some girl of seventeen whom he
couldn't afford to marry for Jears.'
Everyone looked less anxious
over little Archie, and his mother
went on: Now | don't even have to
invite the widow to tea, she is
teaching my boy beautiful anne
aid she considers herself amply re-
warded by having him around to
fetch and carry"
But thought you took such
pains with his manners when he
was little" someone interrupted.
Eyes, taught him not to sprawl
over everything, and to take his hat
off and things like that but | couldn't
teach him how to talk, how to
make himself agreeable, how to
match up with other men, because
they have to go to that kind of a
school away from home"
Il hear he is not the only one"
said the writer of short stories.
Widow Enjoys Role.
"You will find there about every
boy who graduated in June Ar
chie's mother continued. "She
likes them young-about frying size.
l dare say the mother of every BAN
tam that goes there is as grateful to
her as | am. She will never marry
again she enjoys the role of pro-
fessional widow too well. In the
meantime she runs the kindergart-
en-"
The lady with the masculine mind