The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1918-10-24


On the Run
Somewhere in France,
July 20 Times.
Dear Papa
] am writing on the run, as the
brave and glorious soldiers under my
command have not seen the Rhine for
so long that they have started back
that way, and Of course / am going
init them.
Oh, Papa, dere, has been some offel
dings happen here in France. First
| started in my big offensive which
was to crush dem fool Americans, but
dey know so l.ddle about military tac-
tics dat dey will not crushed be like !
want dem. | sent my men in der
fight in big waves and when dey got
to de Americans dey all said "Boo!"
just as loud as dey could holler. Veil,
according to dat vat you haf always
told me, de Americans should haf turn
ed and run like blazes. But vat do
you tink? Dem fool Americans don't
know nothin' about war, and instead
of running de odder way dey came
right toward us. Some of dem was
singing Something's about I've Won't
Come Back Till It's Over Over There!"
or some odder foolish song, and some
of dem laffin like fools. Dey are so
ignorant. But dey are offel reckless
nit dere guns and ven dey come to-
ward us it vas den dot my men took
a notion dey wanted to go back to der
dere old Rhine. We don't like de little
old dirty Marne river anyhow. And,
oh. Papa, dem Americans use such
offel language. Dey know nutting of
kulture and say such offel dings right
before us. And dey talk blasphemy,
too. Vat you tink dey said right in
front Of my face? Won big husky
from a place dey call New Mexico, he
said-oh, Papa, hate to tell you vat
an offel ding he said-but ! can't help
it; he said, "To hell NIT der Kaiser!"
Did you ever hear anyding so offel?
I didn't tink anybody would say such
a fool ting. 1t made me so mad, I
wouldn't stand and hear such q offel
ting so ] turned und run nit der Cd
der boys. Vas ! right? Vat?
And, oh, Papa, you know dem breast
plates vot you sent us---can you sent
us some to put on our backs? You
know we are going der odder way now
and breast-plates are no good, for der
cowardly Americans are shooting us
right in der back. Some Of our boys
took Oft der breast plates und put 'em
behind, but der fool Americans are
playing der Star Spangled Banner"
nit machine guns on dem plates. Can't
you help us?
You remember in your speech you
said nothing could stand before der
brave German soldiers? Oh, Papa, I
don't believe desc ignorant Americans
ever read your speech, for dey run
after us just like We vas lot Of rab-
bits. Vot you tink Of dot? Can't you
send dem some of your speeches right
away? Dey don't know how terrible
We are.
Can't you move my army back to
Belgium we're We Won all our glory :?
My men can vip all de vimmen and
children vot dem Belgiums can bring
up. But desc Americans are so rough
and ignorant. We can't make 'em
understand dot We are der greatest
soldiers on earth, and ven We try to
sing "Deutscherland Ueber Allies" dey
laugh like lot Of monkeys.
But We are getting the best of der
can outrun dem. Papa
if We are not der best fighters on earth
We is sure der best runners. Nobody
can't keep up NIT us ven We tink of
der dere old Rhine, and my army nev-
er did tink so much of dot dere old
river.
Let me know right away vat to 20
by return postofiice.
Crown Prince Willie.