The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1918-05-21
THEIR only CHANCE
Squaw Recognized Limitations Of
''Iron Horse"
A. Least Her Advice to Old chIsf Was
Good, and Probably In the
End Runaway Did sect
Out Of Dreath."
Funny as an Indlanf

Funny as an Indlanf
Sounds queer, but those who heard
Dr. Charles Eastman. . real Sioux.
speak at a recent dinner Of fellow alum
nj of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity.
know that an Indian has 4 true sense
Of humor.
Immaculate in dress suit, Doctor
Eastman spoke slowly and with EVIL
dent relish Of his own felicltouS choice
Of words. Listening brothers In the
bond of the fraternity almost inag-
Ined they were braves themselves and
were seated around a council fre
while the big chief said his say.
Doctor Eastman urged Americas SOL
diers to rush" the Huns In the
trenches and make "buffaloes" of
them. The Germans will get out OF
wind after while, he, said, and told
the following story in illustration Of
the point:
Out on reservation In the far West a
chief and his sQuaw decided to buy an
automobile. So they left the village
and went TO town, where there was an
agency Of certain popular make of
automobile. tpI
"OId woman" the chief said to his
wife, "let us buy one Of the iron
horses" [s,.t.
1--WE are old" reminded his squaw,
sand the iron horse Is dangerous. See
the young bucks---msny Of them lose
their lives riding the iron horses"
"Old woman" replied the chief, I'VE
are old and must die sooR. Let us buy
an iron horse, then W. can die to-
gether."
They went to the agency and were
met by smiling agent.
81 would buy an iron horse" said
the old chief, as It easy to rider
The salesman assured the chief
that anyone on earth could run one.
at is just as simple as this" ne said,
explaining what few levers there were
to operate.
"Get in with me now" ssid the sales
man. "and l Will take you around and
show you"
"I will get in the front seat" de-
clared the chief.
II will get in the back seat" said
his old woman. "What you don't see.
! will see." ~
Accordingly the party started. Soon
the chief was persuaded to take the
wheel. Within an hour the purchaser
was persuaded that riding an iron
horse was not so dldicult, after all.
Soon the agent had the money and
the chief had the automobile.
'NOw we will return to, the village
declared the chief. Us he turned the
wheel and headed across the prairie.
It was easy going. The chief clung
TO the wheel and the cur performed
admirably until they came within
sight OF the Indian village.
When the village saw the old chief
and his sQuaw riding across the land.
scape 1t went out to meet them en-
mnsse.
Braves jumped on their horses and
rode forth whOoplng. Dogs barked Z
welcome.
The old chief got ratified.
] DeScrlDlnE u BTcdt sWecp, the i'uuy
bug bore down on the chiefs tepee.
"StOp 1t, stop It." screamed th'
squRw. ,.,,
"How, howY' asked the chief
clutchlng the steering gear.
"Turn, turn ~. yelled his old woman
The chief turned, and they mlsse,
the edge of the tepee by an inch.
Around In great circle the ca
continued. with the entire village FOL
lowing after. "WkOO-ee!" hOwled til
braves. "BOw-wOw :" went the dog!
The children screamed, the crows cav
cd. all nature made = noise. hut tn
auto chugKed on. ,tf
Again the car. came around In
circle, headed square for the vii
wan.
, 'What shall dor asked the chile
looking back ut his old woman.
''Iiold to the reins! Hold to II
reins!" screamed the sIuaw. 1T vi
get ont Of breath soop !"