Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-10-04
HAVE QUEER NAMES
Weird cosnomens with which Parents
Saddle Children.

Weird Cognomens with which ParenO
Saddle Children.
II is said that gentleman had his
twin infants ehristened Cherubim and
Seraphim because they continually
do cry"
AS matter of fact, many offsprings
have been labeled with names which
in later years they bear with disgust.
On the momentOus point OF parental
responsibility it would be interesting
to have the opinion of Miss Bosdicea
Bdshner, Mr.. Happy Jiggins, Haystack
Brown and Ammo Domini Davis, all OF
whom appear in the register at Somer-
set House.
Mr. Jolly Death, whose name tgur.
ed not long ago in lawsuit. would
probably have chosen a more reyerent
Christian name il he had had any
vote in the matter. as would Mr.. Ju.
das Iscariot Burton and Ananias Gull
ling. who are, no doubt. the most up
right OF men.
Savage Bear. Esq, was probably
charming man TO live with; and so.
for any thing We know. Were--or are
Shady Scarrott, Odious Heatou and
Stormy Petrol Hodeson. Joseph Lyon
Lamb probably combines the courage
of his Christian name with the gentle
ness OF his cognomen. Partridge
Roast might tempt cannibals, If there
is anything in a name, and Mineral
Waters ought TO be allied with good
spirits. Ernest Frosty Winter is prob
ably a cool customer. and Alfred Days
Weeks will flourish. We hope. for ma.
ny year
Even names such as these are NOT
SO uncomplimentary as those which
mark either cold or a frivolous wei
come on the part OF the parents. We
wonder what "One-Too Many John.
SON and "NotWanted Smith think
OF the fifth commandment Boyril
Simpson has commercial suggestive
ness; Married Brown was early des-
tined TO the altar-has he reached ii
yet. We wonder?- and Merry Christ.
mas Finnett ought to feel cool ana
Ioyed even in the dog days.
But of such grotesque baptismal
names the registers supply literally
hundreds. all SO appealing in their lu-
dicrousness that it is difficult to pick
and choose among them. Here are
few, taken at random: Noah's Ark
Smith. Affability Box-any relation.
We wonder, to Miss Sardne Box, who
was Graded in Hackney few years
ago?-Jocose Ann Reynolds name
which should J. A. R.--Chancery Lane
lllingworth, and River Jordan.
Floral names make quite a senti-
mental appeal to us. Who, for in
stance, could fail to find Miss Ivy Vic.
let Primrose Mckinley a very flower
Of maidenhood, or Ivy Nerbena Mig
nonette Slocomhe perfectly sweet?
1t is almost equally unkind to send
child into the world with such a
name 10 write and pronounce as this,
Observation-Disclosures name which
was borne until year or two ago by
an old man in Norfolk. No wonder
his friends struck and called him Ma.
her" for short. Talitha Cunt is rath.
er a dreadful name to put on visit.
ing card, and Tryphena and Tryphoso
are no doubt trying for their bearers.
Azile, as an ingenious transposition
OF Eliza. is rather pretty. as also is
Louvma, combination Of Louise,
Victoria and Maud. the names of King
Edwards daughters.
For a mild peace-loving man to be
condemned to go through lie as
Richard Occur de Lyon Tyler. Horato
Nelson Wellington Marlborough, or
Kitchener Butler French Gatacre--all
names actually borne today is
enough to make him seek oblivion in
the waters OF the Thames. Personal.
~, we would like to sign our name
Edward Bying Tally Ho. or even Quin-
inc. as two very worthy people still
living must perforce do.
There is something TO be said for
naming children in order OF arrival.
as Primus, Secondus, Tertius. and 80
on. 1t has the merit of settling all
disputes as to seniority. But it has its
dangers, as certain well known Ca
madam, one Quintus Cumber. admits
sadly aen he reads his name in the
. m nnrs as Mr u Cunn her - A n sA q rs