Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-09-05
His .Frightful Afternoon


Riper's startled mind was the ap'
palled hope that Camelia would never
find out about it. If there is one
thing above another that man hates
it is having his wifes cruel judg-
ment justified.
Camelia had looked so dubious
about leaving him that afternoon that
he still writhed under the memory.
Il certainly am not going she had
said, land leave you here alone! If
you're SO sick that you have to come
home and go to bed you need atten-
toni"
Van Ripper had insisted on her keep
ing her engagement. "A good sleep
will fix my headache" he had insist
ed. I'll be all right
Something will happen" she had
persisted. Il know ought to stay!"
Il guess you can trust me not to
get into mischief!" Van Ripper had
said, with great sarcast that was total
Iy lost in her reminder that he al
ways did when left to his own de-
vices And now he had done this!
The bedroom window looked out on
the gently sloping roof OF the side
porch below. Van Ripper always had
wanted to rig up a sleeping apart
ment on it, but his wife had refused
her consent. She said that he would
certainly roll off during the night. 1t
was beautifully easy porch for bur
glar to climb and Ca1nelia had had the
window fitted with the sort of patent
catch that prevented its being raised
from the outside at all.
Freedom from espionage had led
Van Ripper on this peaceful, afternoon
to climb thru the window to the porch
roof, just to see what kind of sleep
ing porch it really would make. He
was in respectable gray pajamas and
the people next door We're away, any
how. AS he climbed out he acciden-
tally whacked the window sash and
the affair, oiled and balanced to a
nicely, slid down and shut with a de-
termined little bang. II g.. ...s
Therefore Van Ripper was out on a
porch roof in pajamas in broad day
light with a locked window behind
him. This was when he hoped that
Camelia would never know! .~ss
Van Ripper weighs close to ESQ and
after one look at the porch pillars,
which at that moment resemblcd
toothpicks, he decided not to climb
down after all. Anyhow, he would be
no better off, because The cook was
out and he could not get thru the door.
He began to get nervous. He was GER
tain that anybody within one mile
could tell they were pajamas.
Hey" he called, as some one went
whistling down the walk by the side
Of the house. The whistle ceased,
and gazing up delightedly was the sur
prised and interested face of the worst
small boy in the block. e.
"Whee, fellers!"a he yelled to the
front street. Come on'n see the fat
man on the roof! He's going to
dance!" ".sa .#7 IL amla sH.#E
Pm going to lick you when l get
my hands on you" promised Van Rip
or in cold anger! * 10 azt.aeu efl
"Yah-h h,'' responded six small boys
who had arranged themselves in d
semicircle as tho prepared to. see it
out
I'll give you a quarter if you'll run
around to the carpenter shop and
have them bring a ladder" wheeled
rS= I,o hn1.ol ~
basement window.
Make it a dollar
sPH lick all of you" Van Ripper as
sured them in deep wrath. He was
getting acutely conscious of his bare
feet in bedroom slippers. Then the
grocery toy appeared and promised to
get help. The ladder arrived and with
it five more boys and two men from
plumbing shop. f" W.!
"That ladders no good said one
plumber. He'll smash it sure"
They took it away and brought back
another that seemed built for the safe
MASSAGE of a baby elephant. Eight
more boys, the Baffins cook and a 70
| Iiceman accompanied the ladder. The
side yard was filled with vastly en-
tertained crowd which was constantly
recruited from the front street. Be
fore this mob Van Ripper painfully,
clutchingly made his descent The
insult was when he heard some enc
ask whether it was a moving picture
film. go" ,
Hes a bum actor" decided one
critic. "Ain't he fat"
Touching mother earth Van Ripper
made a wild dash for the basement
window. 1t was fastened. He burst
in the glass recklessly with brick
and as recklessly tumbled thru it. He
landed up to his knees in the laundry
tubs full of cold water and clothes
soaking in preparation for the laun-
dress, bat even then Van Ripers ears
burned furiously, Never again could
he stride, condescending dignified
down the street. Wet and shivering
he padded thru the laundry and up
the basement stairs. The door at the
top was firmly locked from the other