Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1918-01-20
Hair.

goes home and combs sixteen hairs
upward over a bald spot that II would
require washtub to hide One def.
milton of the word hair" In something
not found on babies. In the front row
at the theater and on the Justly cello.
brated species OF Mexican dog Dr. as
the direct cause OF the downfsTl q
two old d-timerE, sampson and Abs on.
Sampson's lady friend gave him a
haircut and when he went huruc 10
his wife the old family dog cheweI
him up, not knowing him, wh.rl
served him right. Absalom WAS max
ing for the Usage hills after insugat.
ing a Crazy Snake rebellion when he
got his flowing tresses tangled In tho
limbs OF n tree and his mule fled from
under.
Bald-headed men arc so because
their powerful brain requires all tina
hair-growing substance for It's opera
tion and maintenance. Nobody ever
saw a pessirnjstic bald headed man
should bald headed man have no
comprehension OF the word "delusIon"
say hair tonic" and he will under.
stand II fully. Hair Is womans
crowning glory when done up that
way. Neatly arranged, IL is called her
"coiffure." Hard 10 spell. and nobody
hoy. wishing 10 designate gentleman
having no hirsute growth on his dome
referred to. him as the man who IS
bare-footed on top OF his head
A man punches his enemy's eye. a.
woman reaches for her oppo@1iiTs s
hair. A conservatist Is a man who
car kiss girl without mussing her
hair Hair is also found extensively
in good country butter Creamcries
have some way for combing1 II out he
fore being offered for sale.
Solomon9was the wisest man. hut he
left ont one warning TO the citizens,
and that one W to beware OF Ions
haired mon and short haired women.
However. most of the time. high
school boys can be depended on To
attend to the former tho they some.
times neglect their duty. and the latter
may Just possibly have had IA sick
spell with fever When boy or 6
years OF age Is still sporting a mass Of
long curls, there IA no doubt about
who IL boss In that homo. and the
chances are strong In favor or one
more so-called man when he grows up
who will require his mammys serv-
ices to tuck him in bed every night
wipe his nosie for him and ask II he
went to the toilet room before going
60 bed
Somebody snld the three sweetes,
words in the English language are,
Enclosed find check" Tho three
wSsest words are. Wigs fool nobody
Talk about electricity and short ctr
cnitsl Nothing to that from a girls
hair tickling a fellow nose. Many
girl has found herself suddenly pro-
posed 20 by allowing the wind To- blow
her hair across his face
There is a hair spring In every
watch, but information seems to be
lacking as TO what animal they gel
the hair from to make the sprlnE
Most rifles. besides being high pow
cred, have their hair triggers. Hair
has saved sssi;yf ,.Yas. especially "heH
used In breadth escapes. Most any
girl can sit on her hair--just like
man sometimes seats himself on ms
hatr-entlrely- by accident
Many mon are still extant WHO
Ewore never 10 get another haircut or
shave unless James c. Blaine got
elected president n seems pity. too,
with mohair selling at about
pound and alfalfa at 5 "A bale. Also
IL man intends TO conserve his iooR.
supply he can find somewhere 10 store
1t without carrying II around m E5
whiskers. Dad refuses to- allow the
kids to- discuss their sore toes ht ths
dinner table because II turns his Nom'
ach Then he applies the vacuum 10
his mustarhe 10 get the coffee out tha'
soaked into it. BY Heck. that is an
offense which ought TO be punsh''hi'
Under the head OF disturbinc ihe
peace. not to mention other .hinE'
besides peace.
The thing that makes IA man mad
40 80 II
for an hour so the shop appear hu-''
when he liz IN a hurry TO get io ipe
store before closing time TO wf''n
some calico for his wife
Farmer CorntOesel; SAY I.neft
who might he the gent with thA' l"'''
cane and plug hat2'
CITY Nephew why. uncle. thai y
Count Ferninsky a foreigner OF fie''
rank" ,,..p
+. C.. Dew tell Rank, hey Wen
I've heerd tell how them fellers d'h
take bath but once IN SO long
why is an editor-like "o0'
pecker?"
Because he sends in bill n
Wrong il Is because they '"'"
work with their heads
Awful
"our country is growing BETTE,
Not near so many men yearly VIM
meet fefon's doom g
THAT is too blamed bad
What In too badg'
"wfy. first thing we know N'S
won't DO enough felons TO meet enc"
doom"
HAM SAYS;
A regular hospital operation ioi ''
moval OF the curiosity would hc'P
lot in keeping most folks OUT
trouble.
What has become osf the olu- w.,
who killed beef and sent WIZ
20 the preacher