The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-01-17


borrow a French gun, Gridley."
We believe we can name the prov
erb that will be most overworked in
the political campaign of 1918. 1t is
the one made famous by Lincoln about
swapping horses in midstream.
1t would be interesting and con.
venient to have an official ruling
from Secretary McAdoo as to how
far one may go in cussing the gov
eminent when his train is late.
Hoyle has nothing in his we'll known
rule book as to which is the right side
of a pancake, or which is the other
side of fence, or how big is piece
of paper, or how many is bunch.
4 4 q
There is talk of having a special
session of the Idaho legislature, and
all the business men, hotel and res
taurant proprietors in Boise are I'M
dHllliOuS III ldNOI VI IL. 1911 IL iulillJ
Senator Kenyon of Iowa has in
PRODUCED bill reducing the pay of
senators and representatives $4,000 a
year. We mention it at this time so
you will know about it. Don't forget
it, for you'll never hear of it again.
z z q
The government has offered avia-
ton service to football players on the
grounds that football players have
courage and are used to intense strug-
giles. Why not extend the offer to
married men for the same reason?
Back in Iowa the other day a con-
servation convention was held. One of
the women present told the assem-
blage that she had saved a loaf of
bread every day for go days and
wanted to know what she should do
with it.
"I'll run away" said Johnny Jones,
anu 20 WntIt L Call Stl
Enough to eat, for | am now
No longer here a pet;
They're starving me almost to death,
They're sure stingy set;
The lid is on the grub, since nav
Became a Hooverette."
Mother and the visitor were discus
sing lemonade, when little Tommy
interrupted by saying, "You should
see the funny way that Mr.. Smith
and sister Clara make lemonade"
"How, darling?" asked mother. "Why
Clara holds the lemon and Mr.. Smith
squeezes her." replied Tommy.
A woman invited a few friends to
dinner the first of the week. The
hostess insisted one of the guests take
another plate of pork and beans.
"Why," he said, "I've had two already,
but it's such nicely cooked pork and
beans l believe | will take another
plate" "Ma's won," exclaimed the
little boy at his side. MAS won! She
said she'd bet you'd make a hog of
yourself if you came"
Did you ever stumble around in the
dark to look for match and find that
doors stand out nine feet from the
wall? That the table reaches entire
ly across the room? That the cleo
trio light switch has disappeared?
That the wall advances to the center
of the room to meet you? That the
chairs have 81 legs? And that the
bureau, on which you left matches,
has disappeared entirely?
The editor of the Piggy Hornet is
dead, says the Paris (Mo.) Mercury,
an contrary to expectashuns, the
town is moving right along. The
major says we kin still win the war,
but thinks it ull be an uphill job
from now on. Death came as a result
Nv nervous prostrashun. The editor
had been tryin' fer years to agree
with everybody, but six weeks ago had
10 give it up. When he agreed with
he Baptists the Methodists got mad,
an when he complimented the Metho-
lists the Baptists got mad. The Re-
laissance Club, Nv which Anariah is
president, got peeved because its pro-
gram on Italian art wuz crowded out
,y Christmas advertiser, an Imogene
lung fit because the Presidents
message an the fight at Woodman
nall was given right NV way over her
essay on the origin NV the Green
Compass. The committee on food
said he left their names
,ut NV the paper on purpose, an the
Domestic Science Club accused him NV
being pro-German because he said
sary's peas spilled an that cold packs
wuz really hot. The final blow came