Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1918-01-06
By Roy MOuliOn

tFiNs - nv tNti ilil IN AlhAll t'Il
rerament he loses Il during this
operation.
Then he is hrng up to dry for two
years, and every two weeks thoy coIle
around and paint him with anothcr
coating OF salt. Then, just to make
him harder 20 guess. they hang him
up In the sniokehouse fnr six months.
AT the end OF which time he is ready
for his premier on the frumenti and
hops circuit. Then the proprietor uf
the place comes around and salts him
every hour or No until some young
writer or artist charitably removes
him from his uncongenial environ
ment a.
herring would never recognize n
blind robbin as a relative The her.
ring might lie the grandson OF the
blind robin, and would still pass him
on tho street without n nod OF recog'
milton, When the family tios are
severed. they are severed for good
and all
After eating several OF these birds,
the bloodhound suddenly becomes am
bilious. He wants To drink up the
whole Croton waterworks
One OF the safest bets to make
about any free lunch Us that It will
never contain anything designed To
make a person less thirsty thar he
proprietor In n student of history and
has always been Impressed by the old
story OF the suffering OF the early set
tiers of Manhattan, who were unable
to obtain salt.
The absence OF salt caused an cpl
demic and people wasted away and
died The proprietor Is tender
hearted. ~, while you arc waiting in
| line for the fork. he comes along and
Ia.
After consuming his portion the
genius goes out Of his place with his
throat feeling like the elevator shaft
| II tall building the morning after
the fire and he Is happy.
| have often wondered what would
happen to man who ate one of
these free lunches in a local option
| state.
But, with all its faults, Its passing
has altered many lives and a lot OF
people may have to go to work
Particularly is this true OF the
wise guys' who infest this corner
OF the perplexed universe. These
live wires think the United States
ends at the Hudson river and that
there is nothing west OF Paterson.
N. j., but sage brush and Gila mon
sters.
Then one of these village cutups
comes around full OF free lunch
which to him Is prosperity, and be-
gins to hand you tips on the short
| route TO fortune In New York There
isn't a .natiye who hugs the stern
and rock bound coast of mahog-
any bar on Broadway or Sixth ave-
nue. who cannot tell the cOrnfed arr
rival from the west where to aiight
In order to catch the express To pros
perity
Most OF them were born here and
brag about H. Apparently being born
here was the only thing that has
ever happened to them,
one of these birds, named Clar-
Sfhce. fastened himself onto me as
prime minister the first day [ struck
this village. l met Clarence In front
OF the bottled ham section of the
lunch table lin the Knickerbocker
bar. 1t was long time ago, but
still remember the details.
After | had bought Clarence seven
drinks and had taken none myself.
not being able to afford that luxury,
he grew quite confidential.
Believe me-" he said mo guy
from outa town has got a chance
here. You'd better beat II before
that return ticket expires was
born here. | know"
| rs that so" l breathed. almost
overcome. lie was the first native
/ had met.
Sure" he said NO chance for
an outsider TO break in here Back
among the alfalfa for yours"
Clarence and l went and sat down
at "A long table. Three Of the men
there were born In Illinois, two in
Missouri and two In New England.
One owned string of New York
hoNls. two OF them were theater
magnntes, one was a wholesale candy
manufacturer and two were corpora
tlon directors. Clarence told me 80.
himself
thot OF Clarence when the free
lunch was abolished and | wondered
what had happened 10 him.
Just the other day | saw him
mounting guard over "A ticket chop
per on tho Sixth avenue l.. He had
a lean and hungry look. but his unit
form cap was set AT Iaunty angle
A trip thru the regular haunts OF
genius II like tour OF the devas-
| tated section of northern France.
The war. In wiping out the free
lunch, has all but wiped out a mighty
race OF advanced thinkers when
these boys had 10 20 20 work or
starve. dthe BARRIERS did tremendous
wusiness. From the Greenwich viii
removed to upholster the mattresses
OF nine Red Cross hospitals, and