The Watertown news. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1917-1919, 1918-05-22

1.-THE CLASSICS!"
By CORA EVANS SANBORN.

"Why, this war is mere incident
to this glorious country!' declared
Joel Burgess. 81 laugh at the idea Of
any other hoping to beat u.s." and the
boisterOus speaker voiced an echOing
laugh that went clear through listen
ing guest. q travelling salesman, SO
hearty and spontaneous was the guf-
faw.
THAT may be your view of 1T"
mOurnful and seGate retOrted Wyatt
Mills, 'but | look at the awful condi-
ton of affairs-bloOdsh shed, devasta-
ton, coming starvation! We'd better
be weeping over the prospect than
glOating over the mserieS of man
kind" and the speaker SmOthered an
actual sob in his throat and with that
Burgess left the hotel.
Regular characters of the town.
eh?" submitted the interested guest.
you've hit it exactly" replied the
landlord with anirlGtiOn. They're a
pair, | tell you. Burgess is laughing
half the time. Mills is constitutional
1y down in the dumps"
"Why, man." observed the guest,
chose two men are absolute class
les ~
whats that?' inquired the land
lord.
well, once there were two Roman
philosophers and Demo-
critus, of whom your two friends who
have just left us are very fair prOtO-
types. Heraclites was the optimist of
the world, who considered life vast
joke and humanity lot of curiOs. On
the contrary DemOcrituS mOurned con-
tinually about the wretchedness Of
the world and went around expound-
ing the theory of constant tears as the
correct trend for the thinker and
philosopher"
'That hits this case, doesn't it?''
grinned the landlord. 1--WE often won
dered-for neither Burgess nor Mills
is an old man, just turned thirty
what kind Of husbands they'll make
II they don't get just the kind of
women they ought to have-that Is,
suited to their peculiar make up"
Judging from the. persistency with
which Burgess and Mills had kept
away from the opposite sex, the ma
jOrity Of their friends and acquain-
tanceS had long since concluded that
they would drift into natural bach
elorhOod.
John Doble, a wealthy widower,
died and in his will named Mary and
Janet Wilder, his orphan nieces. In n
very handsome way. He left them
the old mansion where he had lived
for many years and enough additional
in investments to insure a comfortable
provision for life. There was quite a
tiutter in the quiet village at the cad
vent of re two sisters. Mary, plump
and jolly, was the elder. Her sister,
Janet, was thin and tall and of a
quiet, reticent nature. Both possessed
good looks, and somehow suggested in
their opposite natures, the one laugh
ing, smiling, Burgess. and the other
the pessimistic, gloomy Mills.
Just your match, Mills, that Janet"
remarked the hotel landlord one day.
Gas to you, Burgess" added the jo-
vial boniface, Miss Mary is your true
counterpart but neither Burgess nor
Mills encoura ged further discussion of
the theme of the moment. They look
ed askance at one another and when
they got outside the hotel Burgess
with a searching look at Mills, OBJ
served:
"People are beginning - learn that
we go down to the Wilder place a
good deal, l reckon
''Well, don't We?" quizzed Mills, sus-
picion in his eye as he returned the
glance of Burgess.
For a fact, yes. but remember we
have to-" reminded Burgess. .The
ladies require our services in making
the repairs on the old house."
''It was after working hours when
you went down there Saturday even.
ing"
Eyes, and you wasn't on business
when you spent Sunday afternoon
there. Miss Janet, your hostess, l in
fer? You pair are like two peas" de-
clared Burgess.
All the town expressed vast amaze
ment when 1t became known that
Mills, the pessimist, was engaged to
Mary, and that the optimist, happy-go-
lucky Burgess, had chosen sedate,
smileless Janet as his life partner.
The happy four celebrated the dou-
bic wedding, went away on a bridal
tour, returned and settled down to the
enjoyment Of life in a pleasant, har-
mOniOus way.
Six months after that the same COM
mercial traveller who had discussed
Burgess and Mills as bachelors
CHANGED to be again a guest at the no.
tel. AS an automobile containing the
recently married Burgess and Mills
and their wives sped by, he asked:
"That our friends, Heraclites and
DemOcritus?"
"Sure thing" responded the land
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