The Washington herald., 1918-05-04

hearing pistol shot in a garage
In the rear Of Georgia avenue, Po-
liceman Barker. rushed in to investi-
gate.
He saw Joe Wood In the act OF
handing a gun to Ed Mills.
Joe looked very suspicious, Barker
said, and therefore he was arrested.
They all have excuses. these gun
toters do-but they seldom get by
with them.
Joe said that he was giving back
the gun to Ed. who had left It at his
house.
His wife was getting nervous about
the gun. Joe said. and she persuad-
ed him to give It back.
He was doing this, he told the court,
when the policeman came in on him.
However, he failed to account for
the shot-intimating that the gun
fired itself Just for fun.
The promiscuous firing Of guns 20
close to human beings 10 a danger
Gus proposition.
And to keep Joe from becoming
thoughtless in the future, the court
fined him SIS.
Some Watchman.
II any German spies get into the
War Department and steal the plumb
ing fixtures. II will be Jim Bcatty's
fault.
Jim was employed as a guard. But
the other day he was suspended-we
imagine. for his fondness lor liquor.
He got on the car to go to his home
in Georgetown.
He lived near Thirty-first street.
but he got off the car at Thirty
fifth.
Realizing where he was, Jim de-
cided that 1t was too long a walk
back home. where his wife and fam
ily awaited him.
He laid down on the sidewalk and
went to sleep-full of booze as a Ger
man is Of meanness.
Detective Guy Webb came along.
At first the detective thought the
morgue wagon was pecessary-but
when he got a whiff Of the alcohol
laden atmosphere surrounding Jim,
he sent for the patrol wagon.
On being searched q loaded sun
was found on him. And he didn't
have any business with IL either.
He should have left the gun on the
The combination of a drunken man
and a loaded gun was too much for
Judge Mullowney, so Jim was fined
s75-or sixty days.
Crooked Work All Around.
Adolph Miller owns a pushcart.
He keeps 1t in an alIey-taking II
out in the morning and bringing IL
back at night
Thursday morning he looked around
for his Garland it was gone.
He could see no footprints around
where the cart had stood.
And he couldn't think of any way
In which pushcart could run on
by itself.
Investigation showed that Dick
Dorsey had come into the alley.
caught sight of the unchaperoned
pushcart and Iured 1t away.
Dick then went into the wood and
coal business, hoping to become q
millionaire in a few hours.
But alas. Adolph saw him as he
was delivering a load Of wood on
which profit Of 1000 per cent was
made.
Not only was Dick crooked. thought
Adolph, but he was a heartless prof
iteer as well.
He got a cop and had Dick ar
rested. The man protested his inno-
cence to the world.
He swore that he had bought the
pushcart for 75 cents-but Adolph said
that 70 cents wouhn't buy the self
starter on the cart
Dick told so many unbelieva BILE
stories that the court Just had to
fine him IS or thirty days.
Jealousy.
The green-eyed monster snook up
behind Henry Dorsey and got him by
the nose and led him all around.
Henry's wife is a servant Likewise
a very respectable person compared
to her husband.
And 50 Henry hid in the closet in
the dining room belonging to his
wife's employer and waited for break
fast to be served.
AS his wife, Rose Dorsey. was serv-
ing breakfast, Henry jumped out of
the closet with what everybody
thought was gun, and Ievelled H. at
his wife's employer.
He didn't really have a gun-iust a
shiny monkey wrench, but 1t an
swered the purpose of soaring every
body.
He threatened to shoot up the place
and at the same time accusing
Roses employer Of being too frieai!y
with her.
They called his bluff and he backed
downstairs. still holding onto the
monkey wrench.
a cop got him and locked him up.
He looked pretty wild.
Rose said that Henry had no reason
TO act the way he did-as no one has
ever bothered her. It was all his i'm