Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1918-12-27

iavnee eerparal in tae Royal irish
Rifles"
According to Stewards look, that
Tommy should have Immediately
| dropped dead.
Turning to the next, e>said, SOUR
/ ly' for the love O. Mike, who is hep"
Curly, with knowing look, an
swered &c runs the Kings Arms
| public 'ouse, down Rye lane''
With piteous look, Stewart
glanced my way and jerked my
| thumb in the direction of the other
Tommy, who seemed to be bursting
with suppressed eagerness. Stewart,
looking at him. calculated, "Spit it
out before you choke"
| This fellow, with superior air,
! turned in the direction of the two de-
| jected Tommies, and answered, "John
| MacGraw, why everybody knows i'm;
| e was the fellow in the LONDON Scot
tish who clicked 'crucifiXion' for
stealing the rum issue at 'Wipers'. e
was lad, not 'arf he weren't"
A kissing noise issued from Stew
arts lips, and he seemed to collapse
| like punctured toy balloon. After
q few seconds he Strengthened up and
a look of determination came into his
eyes. Addressing the Tommies, he
| exploded you blokes are enough to
make Billy Sunday take to drink Now,
listen here and let it sink in deep.
John McGraW is the manager Of the
New York Giants. He is a baseball
player; get it? A baseball player. A
guy what manages a baseball team.
And any fellows who can't make good
on his team, or in the bush leagues,
he sends 'em cricket bat with their
name inscribed on it and pays their
passage to England. Get me?"
Several Tommies took exception to
this, and said that they had followed
cricket all their lives, but had never
heard of any American cricketers be-
ing sent over by Mr.. McGraw At
this exploded, and Stewart went up
in the air. Standing UP and turning
to the bunch under the trees, point
ing his finger in their direction, he
let out:
"Now listen, this Us good Tn go
ing to send down to the ordnance
corps and get a dozen gimlets and
some tunnels. With these gimlets Pm
going to bore holes in your 'nappers,'
and using the funnel I'm going to pour
into those garrets of yours little
brains. Then, after you've acquired
gray matter, I'm going to teach you
the great American game of baseball;
and then when through teaching you,
I'm going to retire to the Old Soldiers
home as physically and mentally I'M
fit, because l know the job will put
me there"
The Tommies did not take excep-
ton to his pointed remarks about their
lack Of brains. They overlooked this
because they were very eager to learn
how to play baseball.
4 chorus of, eco to hit, Yank, that's
what we want; something new out
ere in this bloody mess of mud and
'cooties'"
Stewart said that we would have to
talk the matter over, and reckoning
to me, went in the direction of the
billet. followed He then outlined
his scheme.
We were to form two baseball
classes, Stewart in charge of one, l
the other. On the plaster of the billet
we carefully scratched out q baseball
diamond, and then called the Tommies
in. They sat around like little chill
dren in a school, eagerly intent For
two hours we explained the game to
them. When we got through they all
knew how to play baseball-on paper.
We dismissed them, telling them an
other class would be held the follow
ing afternoon. That night, Stewart
and I, around the stump Of a candle,
went into details for organizing two
teams. Everything appeared rosy, and
we were highly jubilant. A Tommy
eased over in our direction and inno-
Gently asked:
Il sye, Yank, isn't it necessary to
ave byseballs and clubs? We cawn't
very well ply without EN-"
This was a bombshell to us. In our
eagerneSs and excitement we had quite
forgotten that bats, balls and gloves
were necessary. I thought Stewart
was going to burst. Letting out swell,
I'll be bowed p which nearly blew the
candle out, he turned silly look in
my direction, and l looked just as
cheap.
At last the Tommies had stumped
us, and we could see our reputation
fading into nothing. A dead silence
reigned for over five minutes. Then
Stewart started madly to open his hav-
ersack. / thought he had suddenly
gone crazy. reached my hand in the
direction Of my bayonet, fearing that
he was looking for a Mills bomb
When he drew his hand out, hanging
to his fist was a writing pad. let go
of my bayonet. Borrowing a pencil
from me (Stewart was always borrow
ing), he started writing. thought per-
haps he was going to commit suicide
and was writing q farewell letter home,