The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1918-10-17
THE CROWN PRINCE
WRITES HIS FATHER

Just who originated the following
we do not know, but it has been going
the rounds of the press. It's good
enough for the readers of the Times
Record:
On the Run. Somewhere in France,
July 20 Times.
Dear papa: am drifting on the
run as the soldiers under my COM
mand have not seen the Rhine for
so long that they have started back
that way, and of course l am going
with them. Oh, papa, dere has been
offel dings happening here in France.
First, started in my big offensive
which was to crush the fool Ameri-
cans, but dey know so little about
military tactics dat dey will not be
crushed like I want en- l sent my
men into de fight in big waves and
when they dot to the Americans, dey
all said "Boo" as loud as dey could
boiler. Veil, according to what you
have always told me, de fool Ameri-
cans should have turned and run
like blazes, but vat you tink? Dem
fool Americans don't know anything
about war, 'em fools, dey are so
ignorant. But dey come right to-
wards US and some of dem was sing
ing something about I've won't come
back till it's over, over there" or
some odder foolish song, and some Of
dem was lofing like fools. Dey are
so ignorant. But dey are offel reck-
less NIT dere guns, and ven dey come
towards US it was den dat my men
took notion dat dey wanted to see
the dear Old Rhine. We don't like de
ldirty little old river Marine, anyhow,
land Oh, papa, dem Americans use
,such offel language. Dey know moth
Iings of kulture, and dey say such
offel things right before US, and dey
talk blaspheny, too. Vat you tink
dey said right in front of my face ?
One big husky from a place dot dey
call Kansas, he said-Oh, papa, hate
to tell you what awful ting that he
said-but l can't help it,-he said
''To He'll nit dere Kaiser" Did you
ever hear anything so offel? I didn'
tink anybody would say such a offe
!. ting. 1t made me so mad l wouldn'
. stay and hear such a offel ting, so
Z turned around and run NIT de odde
boys. Vas 1 right? Vat? And oh
papa, you know dem breastplates vo
you sent us-can you send some. t.
put on our backs? You know We ar
going de odder way now and de breast
plates are no good, for de cowardl
Americans are shooting US right in d
backs. Some Of de boys put d
breastplates on behind but de foo
Americans are playing the "Sta
Spangled Banner" nit machine gun
on dem breastplates.
Can you help us? You remembe
in your speech dat you said dot not
ting could effer stand before de brav
German soldiers, and oh, Papa, dom
believe dat de ignorant fool Ameri
cans effer read your speech for de-
run after US like We vas lot of rab
bits. Vot you tink of dat? Can't yo
send dem a. lot of your speeches RICH
away? Dey don't know how terribl
We are. Can't you move my arm
back to Belgium we're We Won all m
glory. My men can vip all the vim
men and children dat dem Belgium
can bring up. But dem American
are so rough and so ignorant dat "
can't make dem understand dat We ar
de greatest soldiers on der earth, ant
when we try to sing "Deutchland Ebe
Alles," dey laff like lot of monkeys
But We are getting de best of de-
Americans-ve can outrun dem. Pap;
if We are not de best fighters on de-
earth, We are the best runners. No
body can keep up nit US when We tinl
Of the dear old Rhine, and my army
neffer did tink so must of dat deal
/ old ~
do right away by return post Office.
am as effer,
Crown Prince Willie.