The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1918-02-14
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| Letters From and About Soldiers :

| TIT t-s-FNf-t-F-t-s-sFE
Just before he sailed from an Amer
ican port Austin Nj. Lockman. one of
the Hood River boys aboard the Tus-
cania. member of Co. D., 10th Engin.
eers, sent his mother, Mrs. W. A.
Lockman, last will and testament of
the kaiser. as published by New York
city naval and army supply concern and
distributed among the boys of the de-
parting expeditionary forces. The inn
provised kaiser's will follows:
''This is the last will and testament
of me, Wilhelm, the Superswanker and
ruler of the sausage eaters, Recogniz-
ing that am fairly up against it. and
expecting to meet with violent death
any minute at the hands of brave Sam
mics, hereby make my last will and
testament. | appoint the emperor of
Austria to be nv sole executor (by the
kind permission of the Allies).
81. ! give and bequeath to France
the territories of Alsace and Lorraine.
(As this is only case of returning
stolen property | don't deserve any
credit for it, and am not likely to get
any either.
"2. To Servia | give Austria.
"3. To Russia | give Turkey for the
Tsar's breakfast.
"a. To Belgium should like to give
all the thick ears, black eyes and
broken noses that she so kindly pre-
sented me with when politely tres
passed on her territory.
"5. To your Uncle Sam | give all
my dreadnaughts, submarines. torpedo
boat destoyers and fleet of bunkers
generally, what's left of them. He's
bound to get them in the end, so this is
only anticipating events.
''6. To John Bull give what's left
of my arm, as his General Haig seems
so handy at turning my men into sau-
sage meat.
~. To the college of science and
the museum leave my famous mus
tache. souvenir of the greatest swank-
er in this or any other age.
''8. To Mrs. Pankhurst and other
wild women | leave my mailed fist;
they'll need it when they resume their
militant tactics.
Sc. To Sir Ernest Shackleton
leave the Pole. I've been up it so
long that | regard it as my own prop
erty.
(signed) H. /. M. Wilhelm,
Lord of the sea and air and not forget
ting the sausages and lager beer"
"The Quantico Leatherneck, is the
title of the weekly newspaper issued
by the members of the United States
marine corps at Quantico, Va. Lieut..
John G. Wood, of the marine corps,
sends the paper regularly to his sister,
Mrs. 0. B. Nye. of the West Side.
In view of the recent drive made in
Oregon for the Knights of Columbus
war fund, an article of recent Leath-
erneck, telling of the opening of the
Quantico K. of c. hut is interesting.
Portions of the article follow:
Every activity of the cantonment,
military and recreational, was repre-
sented at the service. Brig. Gen. John
A. LeJeune, Post Chaplain E. B. Nj
yer, many other officers and the entire
staff of the Y. M. C. A. were in at
tendance, as were many men from
Washington.
"Rt. Rev. d. J. 0'Connell, bishop of
Rlchmond, IN patrlotle sermon de-
clared that the American soldiers are
crusaders of modern times about to
save Christianity from the pagan phil
osophy of the Germans.
"Gen. LeJeune in his address said:
We welcome the K. of G. and the
Y. to our camps, because they help to
keep US cheerful and in Christian
paths. 1t will take clean and cheer
full Christian army to crush that hide
Gus thing in central Europe which as
pires to rule the world, and the men
who are giving up their time to keep
up the morale of the military and naval
forces by providing clean and whole
some recreation are doing a patriotic
duty of tremendous value to the coun
try. >"
Before the X. of C. hut had been
completed, according to the Leather
neck, the representatives of the Catho-
lie organization had been granted the
privilege of conducting mass and par
ticipating in other services at the Y.
M. e. A. hut.
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