The Lamar register., 1918-11-13
GRIM VISAGED WAR
AND ALL THAT
They Cried Peace! Peace" But There
Was No Peace Along The
BrOwnlee-PaxtOn Line


armies of the Hun overlOrd, which
went forth so gaily four years ago to
consolidate arbitrary power ON the
earth, have been broken and dispersed
by the forces of right and liberty, and
the people Of torn and bleeding Europe
view with wonderment and hope the
breaking dawn of a brighter life, the
eyes of all the worlds great military
strategists are now on the Brownlee-
Paxton line on the sand flats south
west of Lamar, where the tremendous
battle that dwarfs the great struggle
for the Hindenburg line is now being
fought to finish with the most gi-
gantic batteries of hot air and poison
Gus gas ever known centered upon the
crucial point at the Rifle Range. While
the most terrific barrage fire of even
this blood-depressed generation has
been deluging the flats with gore and
poison gas for several weeks, the stir
ring events of the past few days in
dictate that even here Mars has finally
struggle is drawing itself to a close.
Even the dugouts, trenches and sand
pits along the famous line look as il
they had become shaken by the ever
recurring shock Of exploding compress
sed air, and the deadlock which has
been maintaining sort of status quo
or pluribus unum-or something
of the sort along the line for several
Emperor Beavers orders Field Marsh
al Brownlee to bring up all his re-
serves and make a mass attack upon
the barb wire entanglements erected
by Grand Marshal Paxton. According
ly the most tremendous barrage fire
of hot air Of the campaign was con-
centrated on the opposing line and
soon the entire territory of No Mans
Land was filled with poisonous gasses
that spluttered and hisscd like a Nc
Adoo train trying to make up some
Of the twenty odd hours it loses in a
day. Marshal Paxton ordered General
Shuts to capture the main hot air
battery and he at once advanced on
the headquarters at the land office
bridgehead, but swift counter attack
by Emperor Beavers dislodged him and
threatened disaster to the entire line.
The emperor sent word of his victory
TO Marshal Brownlee and ordered him
to follow up with an attack in force
along the whole line, but he made the
fatal error of entrusting the vital mes
sage to Mr.. Burleson's telegraph sys-
TEN and it arrived ~ hours too late
Marshal Paxton with the true eye of
military genius was quick to see his
advantage and trained a long distance
rifle on the vital target, scored per-
feet bullseye and tore the iron cross
from the manly busom of Marshal
Brownlee. By quickly following up
this advantage the forces of Marshal
Paxton and General Shuts have gain
ed what appears to be a commanding
advantage. An armistice has been
asked for by the l.. o. forces and
granted on terms of unconditional sur
render.
Later-Rumor has it that Emperor
Beavers has abdcated and he with
Marshal Brownlee has escaped to neu-
tral territory where they have been
interned.
With the whole sand flats aflame
for weeks with fires of the terrible
battle of giants the shell holes and
craters caused by bursting hot air
buns make the blood-soaked scenery
along the Rifle Range look like a sec
tion of one of Tom Tynan's convicted
roads. Hon. Allyn Cole, as head of the
Don't Weaken Ambulance Corps, has
been earnestly at work to restore
peace and to relieve the gassed vic
tins. Bob McGrath, as lieutenant of
the V. c. U. A, has been dispending
spiritual consolation to the sufferers
and prodding up the slackers; while
Edna Hill. as little cheer sister, has
been the one bright spot of the fearful
maelstorm of woe.
With the dove of peace floating over
the barren burning stretches of bleed
ing Europe and Asia, with the brood