Evening capital and Maryland gazette. (Annapolis, Md.) 1910-1922, 1918-01-24
LETTERS TO And FROM
KAISER WILHELM
Some Satire Satan Sends Sizzling
10 The Kaiser
HIS KAISERSHIP HITS BACK
Says The Kaiser To Satan, Says He
Read II For YourseIE

70 satan IS the Aoll0WilE.
Royal Palace, Berlin.
Ny Dear Lucifer.
Your kindly letter received ard it's
contents noted Indeed, my dear
Satan. you Halter me, but / cannot
help but feel that all your praise is
not misplaced.
win tell you frankly, I was q
little incensed when you compared me
with Nero. To my mind, Nero was a
piker. But on second thought I real-
lie that he did not possess the many
advantages / do for carrying on his
devilish work He had no guns that
would shoot for twenty miles; he had
no gas bombs or fame throwerss he
had never had the opportunity to drop
bombs on schoolhouses and kill the
little children; he could not send his
aYiators over towns ard drop poison
ed candy for the children to eat; he
did not have submarines by which he
could sink passenger ships and kill
hundreds of women and babies TAX
ing all this into consideration, think
that Nero did pretty well. considering
the disadvantages under which he
worked II / had lived in those days
I do not know as I could have Inn
proved on his methods of raising hell,
although some of It looks crude to us
now, with our refined cruelties.
Nero simply murdered his mother
in cold blood / made mine suffer ali
the agony of a broken heart before
death relieved her sunerings
] thank you from the bottom Of my
heart for your gifts 10 me, my abnor-
mai ambition has made me the most
hated man in the world. 1t has sent
my soldiers through peaceful villages,
bent on murder, rapine and arson It
has made a million widows, and has
made a million mothers childless.
has produced an army oil q million
men manned, without arms without
legs and without sight. Il has bereft
some of their reason and they viii so
through life with their minds q blank.
it has robbed. thousands Of women Of
their virtue. and has brought thous
ands more into my realms as slaves,
My name is coupled with curses in
every cline.
Until now have always cursed the
fate which left me with q withered
arm, but now | discern your inscru-
table wisdom. without that ] might
have had human instincts, which
would interfere with my ambitions,
ana might have made me show a SEM
blance Of pity as I saw the result Of
ms hendish work without that twist
IN nay moral makeup ] might have
told my generals to treat the Bel
CLANS with consideration and kind
ness 7 might have told Tirpitz to
order his submarine commanders not
to sink ships without warming and to
give passengers chance to save
themselves.
Indeed my dear Mephisto [ share
with you q hatred for eli things Eng
lish. Il was England that stopped
my victorious soldiers it the Marine
and prevented me from conquering
the world and making ia nations my
vassals. 1t was England that tried to
interfere with my plans by proposing
mediation when I had al my plans
get for world conquest England
has taught savage people Christianity
and the eve Of their fellowmen
while L have endeavored to instill
hatred into their hearts and make
them fends in human form.
Ny hatred for England is only ex-
eeeded by my hatred for America.
Had it not been for that country all
/. Europe would have been helpless at
my feet long ago. Shells made with
American money killed my soldiers
and for thiW can never forgive
America
So the secret is out You hint that
had q hand in the Sarave5o assasei-
nation. I battered myself that I had
kept this covered up and no one would
suspect that / had any hand in it
Wen. it is all right. I suppose. You
inspired it in me, and have 2 right to
share in the secret You win have to
admit that it was clever Of me to be
an my yacht at the time OF the dis
cord and treason among the Russians
and thousands Of those brave people
persisted through treachery.
Lucifer. you make me laugh at
times. You express surprise at my
posing as q personal friend Of God
and telling my people that God VIII
help them to victory Cannot you
see my plans? My friendship with
1 God is simply TO delude the poor. sim
pie fools who are dying that my am
bition may succeed. have to hand
them this bunk once in a while to
keep their breasts barred 70 the en-
envy. without it they could quit fight
ing. I tried the same bunk en- the nau-
traI nations. but they were TOO clever
to believe It.
7 have taught nay people this creed
since came to the throne. The chill
dren in the schools are taught to bate
an thirgs not German. They arc
/ taught the Germany IS invincihle and
anything that I do IS not wrong !
have disguised it under the name Of
kultur. lily alliance with the Turks
was a clever move on my part as Il
save me an excellent opportunity 10
mass the buck. When they commenced
slanehterlng the Christians. no one
i connected my name with II, as the
Turk had slaughtered Christians for
centuries.
You need not fear that your work
VIII be slighter. have six sons who
| are as capable Of ordering cruelties as
/ myself. Sometimes ] believe the old