Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-10-22

Then everything is lovely.
And we're rolling on anew.
Though recollection may be sad
OF what we have endured,
There never was a break so bad
That It could not be cured.
Washington Evening Star.
THE question of the president
with whom he and the govern
ments associated against Germany
are dealings therefore answered
in a clear, unequivocal manner by
the statement that the offer of peace
and an armistice has come from
government which is free from any
arbitrary and irresponsible infiu-
ence-'-German reply. Oh boy.
Page William HohenZollern!
ACCORDING to information Civ
en- by captured Germans, the Ger
man commanders on the west front
are engaged in estimating the
amount of transportation that will
be required for their evacuation.
One would think that they would
be fairly well acquainted with such
details, judging from the amount of
evacuating they have been doing
since the middle Of July.
AGAIN proving that there is
nothing, or nearly nothing, in a
name, r. Shields cognomen failed
to protect him from the bullets said
to have been fired at him by a ne
gress at a rooming house on First
avenue.
AFTER years of taking a gam
bling chance of getting the money
of its patrons, the street car COM
pany makes the game a real gamble
by installing slot machines.
Fine Opportunity for a Man With a
Good Wife!
(From this paper)
Wanted-Woman, married, to do
general housework Room and
board for herself and husband.
AS concrete evidence that chiv-
airy is not entirely lacking in the
present war, the allied soldiers are
certainly needing the first rule of
manly conduct, ladies first" by
taking Lille before Client.
IF you are close follower of the |
war news you probably have also
noticed that Has has also been
captured.
One of the Results Of being Unable !
to See Into the Future.
(R- & V. Plant leaves.
Department B was treated to Gig |
airs recently, upon the occasion of !
the arrival of Baby Florence Alice .
at the home of Mr.. and Mrs. Ralph /
Waldron- Ralph says Alice Will |
have to masquerade for a while in !
boys clothing, as no preparations
were made for a girl. The little |
lady weighed u pounds.
T. c. tells us that in driving along
the road in the vicinity of An (
dalusia every farmer has a mo. .
Fishing" sign posted along the /
highway. T. c. wants to know /
whether it is a promise or a threat [
or a stall"
WRITING to tho doctor an anx- |
ious patient wants to know what !
to do for red nose" In our opin- I
ion the only thing to do for red .
nose is to continue the same treat I
ment the patient has been accus- /
toned to.
Over the Top.
TnrI.
lem, but will state that l have you
beaten at least 10 per cent. You
state you have been served nine /
times out of 10 with labeled bread. /
I have gone over the top. The last .
10 meals l have eaten at a restau- |
rant 90 l have received a label /
each time, which makes 100 per .
cent. JOHN
WE have learned the why of /
of Private William Nichols unex-
pected Ito u.s. visit to Rock Island.
Instead of leaving sweetheart
when he returned to camp this
time he left a bride Truly a man
develops a lot of courage with 4
few months in the service.
AS if having his call to camp
postponed because Of the flu wasn't
bad enough, Les J., who is burning
up with trench fever, was con-
fronted with this headline in A
newspaper: "Allied Soldiers Held /
Up by Girls Wanting Kisses"
SPEAKING of the red tape con-
nected with governmental business.
have you attempted 10 secure a
new laundress lately? One Rock
Island housewife did, and under
went the following when she an
peared at the home of female de-
scendant of Africa and stated that
she wished to engage her:
How many are there in the fam
lily? How often do you have YOUR
washing done? What day of the
week do you have it done? Do Won
have it done at your house? If so
what conveniences and facilities
have you for doing it? What kind
OF soap and other washing mate
rails do you use? If l take your
washing / shall expect to do II reg
ularly hereafter and my price "a
-"
The lady filled out the question
naire, supplied the necessary am
davits and is now waiting for the
physical examination or any other
requirements this twentieth century
woman might exart