South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-04-28

man and not a woman Is that as /
much as he would love TO have |
small feet, he would never attempt i
10 fOa anybody by wearing the heel /
OF his shoe under the arch OF his /
foot where there are paved streets 1
and no chance to leave q. fake little l
track visible.
The Chicago News says a hen sits, !
but that the farmers wife sets !
the hen. In other words, man In
church sits, but the usher sets
him instead OF seats him.
II the army needs the ball play
ers, let the government take every
one of them. There is just as much
fun in the amateur games, we i'm
agine, and there are a lot OF stiff
jointed old dubs and rheumatics
who might be benefited by playing
ball every afternoon.
It is said Pres't Wilson will be
elected to the Institute of France.
That will be all right. but let US
first make sure that there is going
to be a France. Buy bonds, South
Bend
We understand the Methodist
church Bulletin of today will con-
| tain a Liberty bond parable by Ed.
| Byrkit. We anticipate the issue
will be sold out before the morning
services commence.
We hope Uncle Sam will prepare
TO decorate every war hero. We
want it so that when a one-armed
man runs for office in Mishawaka
after the war the voters will know
he faced the german fire and didn't
lose the missing member in a saw
mill.
We expect Mr.. Wilson will gra-
ciousIy receive that Dublin mayor
and his retinue of servants who are
coming TO America for the purpose
OF having the president give the
the British hell for insisting that
the sons of Erin fight alongside
their brethren from this and other
countries-that is. if they get past
Ellis island.
The rule is that the man who
gives his sons for the country gives
his money. too. 1t is the old coin
compressor without sons or patriot
ism who clutches his stuff as if he
expected to be buried with it.
If you have a little baby boy in
your home you ought to catch the
idea that unless our big brave boys
win this war now your little tad
will have to take the trenches when
he grows up. Hook on to the
bonds.
II you are a young guy and have
political ambition our advice is, re-
sign your office and get into the
army. Otherwise, you will be as
dead as herring politically after
the war is over.
A cable from Paris says the
French admire the Yankee troops
If they admire our boys as much as
we admire the French then the
Yankees will have TO wear their gas
masks to keep off masculine kisses
NO man is dead who has given
his life for a great cause. When
our boys are not present any more
at roll call. the answer will be that
they are not dead, but absent in
the discharge OF duty" This is
from speech by Vice Pres't Tom
Marshall, who is all too seldom
heard from. but whose occasional
bon mots are as sparkling crystal.
The germans may be able to hold
Wytschaete. but we doubt that they
. Will ever be able to pronounce it.
An Ohio Presbyterian preacher
has resigned his pastorate to run for
congress on the democratic ticket
We do not know that IL is best for
preachers to get into politics. but il
they must they certainly should fol-
low the example OF this brother and
so in with the party that will enable
them still to keep within hailing dis.
lance of righteousness.
A Baltimore orator says where q
! man PATRIOTISM Is lneTe VIII nj!
heart be also. Huh! Suppose a mar
is wearing a liberty patch on the
seat OF his trousers?
Mishawaka announces lover the
top" with her allotment OF the Lib.
erty loan, with many thousands q
spare. That is pretty good for Misha
4 waka. There is only one way to have
4 a tooth pulled 'and that is at once
Pulling a little on an acher ever!
j day is silly. And the way to buy Z
Liberty bond is TO shell out and bu!
it.
IL Is announced that the army Ia!
all the chaplains ii needs for tbs
present. The most pressing need
continue to be fighting men anC
guns and ships 10 travel in.
Even at that, we can not see VII.
germany should be mad at Coun
Czernin. The german chancellor.
i has been caught IN 10 lies to wher,