Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-11-10

~ NEo those gifted architects
who can build something out
" of nothing has created for a
western paper the following
stun which is too gossamer
even for dreams to be made of:
"Sir: In Washington. on Pennsyl-
vania avenue, saw a sign. james
+. Oyster And, damme, he was
handing 'em out. stewed. raw and
fried. Il. l.. b."
Il. L. b. may consider himself dam
med. all right. If fib can turn the
trick.
COMEBODY told somebody story
that went about like this:
There was a poverty stricken wom-
an with two perfectly worthless sons.
She worked hard for enough to swear
by-or at-but she fought her life
scrimmage with patient bravery and
every morning in the year she went
to early mass and prayed fervently
for help she needed to house and feed
the good-for nothing boys. Then the
war came along and caught both of
them in the draft. And when the
woman began drawing her allow
ances from them and from the gov
eminent she stopped going to church.
She never went near.
Her heresy proved such a shock to
her community that the pastor call
ed to know what she meant by it, as
good as God had been to her in her
many troubles. The woman was>per-
fectly frank:
AS long as she was poor she just
had to have Gods help, but now that
Uncle Sam was at her back and, she
was prosperous woman SO long as
the blessed war lasted, whyfore
should she go to church, where they
This story is not a fresh yarn, as
you may know-which was more
than this unit did when she>tabbed
1t down. at the word of one
who told 1t as an actual incident
which had just occurred. AS tho
umn Is that each atom be original,
1t would have to be thrown out ex-
cept for the comment Of the relator
who, condemned the mother as
spiritual Stacker" which she wasn't
The sudden stopping of a lifetime
of want had merely brought on a
sort of soul shock from which she
will recover when she begins to
take good fortune as a matter of
course-like the rest of us million
aires.
The first thing her cronies know
she will be at that church some
morning before daybreak waiting for
the doors to open to beg forgive
ness Of her sin.
This is bound to be the case. for
no less an authority than the gen.
mutual friend that the only way
he could account for the masculine
majority Of his population was that
when man falls from grace he stays
fiat. while, no matter how black n
woman's sins be, she can always be
relied on to crawl to the fountain
of repentance and wash herself
whittier than snow. He said that
women are made that way.
And he sure ought to know.
X
TWO cheerful-voiced womer were
exchanging preferences as to
graves:
well, Of course, I've got to be
buried in Mount Olivet because all
my people are there-otherwise ]
would prefer the Congressional ceme-
terry. It's whole heap more sociable
than my place. with people always go
ing and coming and the river right
by"
"Why, isn't that funny! I'm going
to be in the Congressional, but II
had my way I'd rather be further
from the water; IT'S pretty and all
that, but so unhealthy"
their dinner-ham. cabbage and po-
tatoes, with pie on the side-with
as much relish as II their subject
were some pleasure resort they were
considering for their next vacation.
Which shows how funny women
are-God love them!
Also men.
. A SLOGAN for Santa:
- avoid the Christmas eve rush
and stop early-at the home Of one
small boy who wants a ball-bearing
artillery wheel wagon coaster, No. l.
and wants 1t right away.
In his letter to the great toymaker
of childhood, via The star the writer
gives assurance that his mamma and
OduUy are WHlIIiB tHdl uc sHouiu ia q
exactly that sort Of coaster at Christ
mas, but-why wait?
That q child should deal a blow at
ST. Nick's calendar is something new
under the sun.
And Solomon said there wasn't.
X
X
TT you are an enthusiastically reckless
owner Of liberty bonds. which you