davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
His Small Economy.

"My friend, there is really no ex-
cuse for you not looking neat and
clean" .....
Sorry, mister" explained Flooding
Peter, "but I'm conserving my bit
along wit de rest O. de folks. You
jest happened to hit me on my soap
less day."-Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Drawbacks

Doctors tell you to eat fruit with
the skin on"
"I've heard it is healthful."
ut is sometimes awkward, though.
Pineapples scratch and peaches tickle.
Louisville Courier-J Journal
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
The Pinnacle.

"Well, at last, Jones has achieved a
great literary success"
"So?"
yep! He read 'em all over care
fully, burned 'em and has taken job
on street car."-Florida Times.
Union.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Military Stuff.

Correspondent-And you are per
fectly sure Of your position, general?
General-Oh, I'm sure enough of my
position, but what worries me is the
possible position of the confounded
enemy.-Richmond Tmes-Dispatch.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Descriptive Coanomen.

what kind of vine is that you have
on your wall?"
"I don't know it's botanical name.
call 1t the bouncer vine because it
is always throwing out suckers. BAL
timore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Comfort Baby,s Skin

When red, rough and itching with hot
baths of Cuticura Soap and touches Of
Cuticura Ointment. This means sleep
for baby and rest for mother. For
free samples address, "Cuticura, Dept.
x, Boston," At druggists and by mail.
Soap 25, Ointment 25 and 50.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Friends.

"a dog is mans best friend"
WELL" replied the prudent citizen,
considering the price of ham and
eggs, pig and hen must be very
comforting, even If they're n so So
ciable. e."-Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
oratorx and Music.

"That fellows talking" exclaimed
Mr.. Cumrox, makes me think of GER
tain styles of classical music"
"In what way?"
"In sounds all wrong, but he can give
you such an argument you don't dare
say so."-Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

"I wonder why hot soda won't 60
like cold soda."
"Not spectacular enough" suggest
ed the druggists friend. ut might go
better if you could squirt steam into
it from fine zle."-Louisville
Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
No Doubt About 1t.

cts tough when a girl marries a
worthless man."
"And modern life has introduced an
other angle"
What is that?"
"It's tougher when she gives up a
good job."-Kansas City Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

She-Can it be that you really love
me? I know l am not beautiful.
He-But l care nothing for beauty.
She-Indeed! Then you do not hesi-
tate to insult me already! Pray con-
slider our engagement at an end.-Ex-
change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Waiter-What will you have, sir?
Diner-Oh, bring me an assortment
Of proteins, fats and carbohydrates-I
leave 1t to you, Henry, say about 800
calories,-Brooklyn Citizen.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Sod Mulch is Adopted.

Many OF the most successful fruit
growers throughout New England have
adopted the sod mulch method of cul-
ture for their apple orchards.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Miss Strongmind says she doesn't
intend to marry until after the war,
and then she'll marry only soldier"
why a soldier?'
Because her husband will then
know the value of implicit obedience" "
Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
A Wise Fish.

"I wonder why this goldfish never
grows any?"
"The intelligent little creature
knows there would be no room for
him in that small globe. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
The Human Beast.

ut is a pity that man spouting on
a vexed question can't do as the whales
do in similar action"
what do you mean"
"The whales, you know, always pour
oil upon the water"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

About the best praise that q man
can get is to come to the end of his
life and still be the man his wife Is
glad that she married.-Detroit Free
Press
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

"Alas," cried the Angel Of Peace,
"how can the dream Of my life be real
lied with all Europe against it?"
And Echo mockingly replied: "You
are up against it."-Boston Transcript
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

To Dyspeptics: Others have found
steady course of Garfield Tea a
pleasant means Of regaining health.
Why not you?-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Why Hoo oets Chilled.

A hog gets chilled easily because OF
his poor surface circulation, contracts
pneumonia, dies, and cholera is cred.
ited with another victim.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Illuminated Road slons.

For illuminated road signs m
acetylene generator has been invent
ed In Europe that requires attention
only once a month.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Tommy-The kaiser's an over-lord,
amt he?
Sammy-Yes, but you bet he amt
an over-the-top lord.-Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Heaven Is on to Him.
"The Lord knows how Blinks made
his money"
mo wonder he always looks worried" i"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Money has tendency to intoxicate
people"
"But strange to say, not when 1t
gets tight "-Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

"My dear, the doctor says I'm in
need of little change"
"Then ask him to give II to you.
He's got the last Of mine. e."--Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Chronic Constipation is as dangerous
as disagreeable. Garfield Tea cures
it.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
His Methods

"a thief adopts contrary methods
from those of the usual arithmetician."
"How so?"
"He always subtracts when he wants
to add and multiply"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Willy Amt No Rose.

The kaiser's evident motive In his
speech is to prove that Germany is
still offensive, and nobody will deny it.
New York Sun.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Cholera. parasites and pneumonia
are some of the worst troubles hog
raisers have to fight In the fall and
winter.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
Slips of Language.

OITPS Vt IuII9Vu8Vs
Funny, isn't it?"
whats funny?"
"Jaggs and I met Snaggs yesterday
wheeling his baby carriage and Jaggs
said he was man with no push about
m."-Ba.imore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

SKINNED milk Is a valuable source
of animal protein. and should be used
to molsten the food and placed where
the hens can drink It
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
oeorala,s Good Roads.

Between the years 1909 and 1914,
Georgia surfaced 1894 miles Of state
roads.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
shoelnn Draft Horse.

In many cases careful shoelng will
improve the gait OF the draft horse
and tend to eliminate undesirable fea.
lures
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Grit Is necessary to aid the fowl in
grinding up Its feed, 1t performs the
same functions for poultry as do the
teeth for human beings.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
comnaratixe Riches,

comparative HIcHess
1.-THE Comeups boast about the num-
ber of limousines which drive up to
their door,"
"Humph! We had a full coal cart
drive up to ours."-Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
TrifIe Dubious.

"Is our client beautiful?"
''I guess you'd call her beautiful as
a point of law. Still, she's no chick
en-. Better pick out jury of near
sighted men,"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

TNRMaaAaM Ia no more necessary
WDnBHuU than Smallpox, Army
HUH HEUuU experience has demonstrated
the almost miraculous efii-
eacy and harmiessness, Of Antityphod Vaccination.
Be vaccinaied NOW by your physician, you and
your family. 1t Is more vital than house insurance.
: Ask your physician, druggist, or send for Have
you had Typhoid" telling Of Typhoid Vaccine,
results from US and danger from Typhoid Carriers.
The CUTTER LABORATORY, BERKELEY. CAL
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

For Constipation, Biliousness, Liver
and Kidney troubles, take Garfield
Tea.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu-
late liver, bowels and stomach.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22

Husband-You never kiss me except
when you want money.
Wife-Well, isn't that often enough?
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-03-22
When the Day Ia Done.

When the Day is Done.
] have eaten bale
OF spinach and kale,
And I've never raised row.
| have swallowed a can
OF moistened bran
And | feel like brindle COW.
| am taking snack
From the old haystack
In the evening shadows gray,
And I'm glad, you bet,
At last to get
To the end of a meatless day.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-02-23
is DOING IT'S BEST:

1t is helping the Red Cross, Y.
M. C. A. and Knights of Column
bus. Members of it's force are
now serving in the Military Es-
tablishment.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-02-23
1T HELPS RAISE WHEAT

~5 1T HELPS RAISE WHEAT
Practically all its great bulk of assets, over
Two Million Six Hundred Thousand Dollars, is
at work on the farms of the northwest. (The
prime first mortgage on choice farm land is the
acme of safe investment) -
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-02-23

John J. Cadigan, President
John d. CarmOdy, Vice President
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-02-23
OFFICERS

Edward J. O'Shea, Secretary Treasurer
Graves, Kizer & Graves, General COunse
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-02-23

r. c. Burton, Actuary and Asst. SeCy.
]. P. Fordyce, Agency Manager
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
DISPLAY OF GRAINS
AND VEGETABLE ES

An agricultural display of sheaf
and threshed grains and vegetables
will be held at Glasgow, Montana on
Labor Day, September 2, 1918. The
farmers of Valley County are urgent
ly requested to cooperate by bring
ing in their exhibits. Those exhibits
that can be shipped will not only have
a chance in winning county premium
but a state premium. There will be
no charges of entry fees or admit
tance fees to the county fair. This
fair is simply for the purpose of
gathering the best exhibits possible
so they can be taken to Helena to
compete for the state fair premiums.
Arrangements and exhibits will be in
charge of NJ. E. Stebbins, county
agent; Miss Johnnott, county super
intendent of schools and l.. E. Jones,
advisory member, Montana State
Fair. Information regarding any
matters should be taken up with any
of the members of the committee.
Bring your family and enjoy the
day, everyone is welcome.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
BUREAU OF MARKETS
ESTABLISH OFFICE

The Bureau of Markets of the
United States Department Of Agri-
culture has established a branch Of
flee at 42S Rialto Building, Butte,
Montana, to serve the interests Of the
produced and handler of perishable
products for this section of the coun-
try. The Butte office is one of the
recently added offices when Spokane,
Seattle, Portland, San Francisco and
Los Angeles was made a part of the
Pacific Coast branch. The Bureau of
Markets now has the country COM
pletely covered with branch offices
and all are connected by their own
leased wire service.
The Butte office will issue during
the shipping season daily bulletins on
the various crops, paying particular
attention to potatoes. There daily
bulletins contain the following infor-
nation: Number of cars shipped the
previous twenty-four hours, prices
paid the growers and shippers in va
rious large producing sections and the
prices being realized in various mar
kets. Under the latter is shown the
number of cars arriving for the pre-
vious twenty-four hours, the supply
and demand and the tendency of the
market. All prices quoted are bona
fide sales.
This free service has been of ines
timable value to growers in all Sec
tions of the country and it is hoped
that every reader of this who is in
terested nthe selling or buying of
vegetables or fruits will write to the
Bureau of Markets, Butte, Montana,
for the daily bulletins.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
'sTEND OWN KNITTING"
IS RED CROSS MOTTO
Don't Think Your Work Is Wrong
Because They're Not Doing
It In Adjoining County

Under the new allotment system of
production adopted by the American
Red Cross it frequently happens that
workers in one territory will be as
signed the task of making certain
garments or dressing, the manufac-
ture of which has not been apportion-
ed to workers in an adjoining district.
Sometimes workers, travelling from
one section to another, have caused
some confusion in the workrooms by
comment on this situation. "Why, we
aren't doing work like that down at
Jonesburg," is typical remark, made
by the visitor, resulting sometimes in
the feeling among some workers that
the work they are doing is of minor
Importance or that some mistake has
been made in their assignments.
Such is not the case. Allotments for
Red Cross work are apportioned on a
broad scale. Certain results must be
obtained and the work is assigned to
the districts where it is felt it can best
be produced. Workers should pay no
attention to outside comment but rest
assured that so long as they are pro-
ducing the quotas assigned them they
are working to the best possible ad-
vantage for the Red Cross.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
BAKERS ARE HAVING
TROUBLES OF THEIR OWN

BOZeman, MOnt.-HOuSehOlde OF
Montana, since the substitute rules
were placed in effect by the Food Ad
ministration, have learned that it is
as impossible for a baker to produce
a light and white loaf of bread as it
is for the woman who bakes at home.
Complaint received by bakers when
the substitute rules first became oper-
ative, was almost entirely on the size
and general appearance of the loaf.
More recently, the complaint has al
most ceased, as it is understood that
the baker must use substitutes and
that any portion of substitutes will
affect the former size and appearance
of the loaf.
The bakers are having troubles of
their own these days. Not only are
they faced with the need Of making a
white-looking loaf out of substitutes
that generally tend to darken the
bread, but they are also faced with the
shortage of labor, inability to get GER
tain substitutes regularly and changes
in baking equipment due to the new
sized loaves.
With certain substitutes a baker
can make legal loaf that is about as
white, although not as large, as the
former pure wheat loaf. But the abil-
ity to obtain certain substitute reg
ularly is limited, and abaker's recipe
for his bread must often be changed
twice or three times a week, as he is
able to purchase the substitutes.
Handling as they do large per-
centage of the wheat flour in the
state, the bakers have necessarily
been bound down by stringent rules
by the Food Administration in Mon
tana, and not a few have suffered
penalty for the violation of rules. But
on the whole, according to Food Ad-
ministrator Atkinson, the bakers OF
the state have been loyal in their sup
port of the Food Administration anC
strict in their obedience to regulation:
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
DIR. O. M LANSTRUM A
VISITOR in GLASGOW
WAR SAVINGS STAMPS
SALE CONTEST
Is Open To All Women Either Mar.
ried or Single In the
COlnty

All contestants shall be over the
age of IS years.
They shall file written notices of
their intention to enter the contest
with their County Director for War
Savings.
All sales shall be in cost values as
certified postoffices or other author
lied agencies where stamps may have
been purchased by contestants.
Contest will close September 5,
o'clock p. m.
To the two contestants selling the
greatest amount there will be given
free trip to Helena during the State
Fair with all expenses paid, provided
the winners selected will enter the
State competition for which prizes
will be given as follows: War Saw
ings Stamps to the total maturity
value of $4,000.
To the County making the greatest
sales, $4,000; second, $4,000; third,
$4,000; fourth, $4,000.
All county prizes to be divided
equally between the two representa-
tives in the contest.
In County competition the credit
will be given for all new sales, also
for sales representing payments upon
pledges, provided the contestants keep
and file with the County Director rec
ord of all such payments on pledges.
All sales made at the State Fair
must be new and additional sales to
those already pledged.
Each contestant shall present only
her individual sales and shall not be
credited for sales that might be turn
ed over to her by some opposing con-
testant.
Arrangements will be made in Hell
ena for furnishing all stamps to the
contestants to be sold to the credit OF
their respective counties. Chaperons
and reservations will be provided.
r. ]. MOORE,
County Director of War Savings, Val
ley County.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
FARMERS ARE USING
BINDERS AND HEADERS
New Means of Economy is Being
Tried Successfully All Over
State of Montana.

In certain sections of Valley Coun-
ty where the grain crop is too short
to be cut successfully with the ordi-
nary binder, there is demand for
headers, since they save short grain.
No twine is required. A larger crop
acreage can be cut and the grain goes
directly into the stack. Much of the
straw is left in the field which tends
to maintain fertility. The chief dis
advantages are found in the high
cost of the header and larger crew
to operate the outfit Grain should
be somewhat ripper for heading than
for binding.
Many farmers in Montana who had
binders felt that they could not afford
headers, and adopted home made
idea which enables them to use their
binder as a header with the addition
of homemade elevator. The scheme
has been tried and has been found
successful. One days time and about
$1,000 is the cost to make this change.
The binder can cut as short grain as
header but cannot bind it. because
the grain becomes scattered. When
this attachment is used, three men
with an eight-foot binder are able to
cut about fifteen acres day of short
grain. Some use hay racks fixed up
similar to a header box. One person
is needed to drive the header box
team, another man is needed to take
care of the grain as it comes into the
header box, while the third drives the
binder When the header box is filled
the man driving the binder builds the
stack as the other two unload the
headed grain. The horses are resting
during this brief time that it takes
to unload. Stacks should be located
so as to avoid long hauls. Some farm
ers recommend the use of two header
boxes with crew of five people, thus
enabling the binder to run continu-
ously. Where labor can be obtained
or exchanged this is the better prac-
tice.
To make this heading attachment
for the common binder requires but
N ordinary farm knowledge of ma
"hinery. There is na- absolutely fixe'
way. No extra gears of any kint
are required. Materials that ma!
have to be purchased are the two
boards, the smooth canvas, the up
permost roller, and the iron braces
The average farmer need have no feal
of this matter being complicated.
If anyone will drop me card ask
ing for the bulletin that explains thu
construction in detail l will be gla(
to mail it to you.
M. E. STEBBINS,
County Agent.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
LANSTRUM VS.. RANKIN

Judge Nichols and Harry II. Par
sons have withdrawn from the race on
the Republican ticket for U. S. Sen
ator from Montana. This leaves only
two aspirants for this important po-
sition, namely. Jeanette Rankin and
Oscar NJ. Lanstrum.
With four candidates in the field it
was difficult to pick the winner, but
now that two of them have dropped
out the odds are in favor of Oar.
Lanstrum.
Many who voted for Miss Rankin
two years ago will fail to support her
at this election, because of the fact
that she voted against the declaration
of war against the German govern
ment. Aside from a few minor ac-
complishments she has done nothing to
materially benefit the state as a
whole.
Thus the strength of the Republi-
can party appears to have centered
upon the popular doctor from Helena,
he aspires to.-Nashua Independent.
who is a splendid man for the office
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
SON OF HONOLULU
MAYOR VISITS GLASGOW
One of Members of Royal Hawaiian
Quartet Tells of the
Islands.

Joseph j. Fern one of the members
of Moana Vierra's Royal Hawaiian
quartet who were here on the Chau-
tauqua program Monday, paid a
pleasant call at the Courier office
while he was in town.
Mr.. Fern is the son of the mayor
of Honolulu and told a number of in
teresting facts regarding life on the
islands. He is in the next draft call
and Just received transfer from the
Honolulu local board to Chinook from
which place he will leave with next
weeks quota for Camp Lewis, Wash:
Mr.. Fern is just 23 years old and
has been in the United States for five
years, with frequent trips back to
the islands.
He says that Honolulu has been
Americanized rapidly in late years
and that now there are no more than
1000 pure Hawaians.
A good many of the soldiers from
the islands come up to Camp Lewis
for training before going across and
Mr.. Fern expects to meet several OF
his friends when he goes into training
next week.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1918-08-23
LYLE TO BID ON
NEW GOVERNMENT ROAD

The following item was sent in
this week from J. B. Farris of Libby,
publicity agent of Lincoln. county,
Montana:
81. L. Lytle of Glasgow, was here
during the latter part of the week, in
conference with L. E. Vinal. forest
supervisor of the Kootenai National
forest service. Mr.. Lytle is planning
to bid on part of the work on the new
government road, which will extend
from Troy to Yakt valley, distance
of thirty five miles. Part of this
road will be built through solid rock.
Total expenditure, this year, $65, 900.
Two years to complete road. which
will give much needed relief to
homesteaders in Yaak valley who are
now practically cut off from the out
side world. Only way of transportation
pack saddle and human backs over
very rough trail. Road was planned
before the war, and finally govern
ment decided to go ahead, as it will
put on market much needed crops.
Yaak valley is one of the richest and
most fertile in the northwest"