davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES

Butcher-This pound Of butter you sent
me Is three ounces short.
Grocer-Well. misaid the pound
weight. 80 l weighed it by the pound of
chops you sent me yesterday-Boston
Transcript.
They say" remarked the moralizer
that aggressive and impusive people
usually have black eyes"
That's right" rejoined the demoralizer
If they are not born with them they
manage to acquire them later."-Indianap.
oils Star.
Bobby" said the minister to q little
fellow aged 6, Il hear you are going to
school now"
YES SIR" was the reply.
What part Of 1t do you like best?"
Comm home" was the prompt answer.
louisville Courier Journal
Some accounts Of aviation stunts are
very surprising"
That's So Sometimes they are abso-
lutely incredlous and I have heard tales
that left me In a state Of purtrefaction-
Baltimore American.
II was just wondering"
WHAT"
1T Diogenes didn't start this fad Of
being photographed sitting in tub with
baby. "-Florida Times Union.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
Storyette of the Day.

DR.. Adolph Pisto, of the Bureau
of Animal Industry, Department Of
Agriculture, returned to Washing
ton after an inspection trip cover
ing nearly the entire country.
Doctor Pisto said everywhere he
went the question of politics was
secondary to the discussion of the
personal qualities of Woodrow Will
son as statesman and diplomat. =
Il heard the president discussed
in many ways" said Doctor Pisto,
"but a story I heard in Louisville
came nearer than any other to epit-
omizing what some persons think
of the president" -.
1.-TWO Kentucky colored men were
arguing about Mr.. Wilson. One of
them insisted that Teddy was the
greatest man in the world and said
he was fer him fer anything.
"The other shook his head, with
due solemnity, and remarked:
"'Ise publican thu an thu,
but any man what kin set tn clocks
back an hour and give tn railroads
to his son-in-law, believe me, Use
fer dat man "-Philadelphia Ledg-
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
CENTER SHOTS.

Detroit Free Press: Doctors ad-
wise taking an hour at each meal.
We'd like once more to see all the
food it would take us an hour to
eat.
st. Louis Democrat: When
ever the Associated Press announces
one of the greatest events in world
history, it takes care to ascertain the
facts.
Minneapolis Tribune: For those
who knew them in the ante-bellum
days it would be interesting to OBJ
serve the mien of the returned Ger
man war mongers in the streets of
Berlin now.
Philadelphia Ledger: With some
thing like $1,000 100000 worth of
German property in its hands, the
United States will be able to see that
at least part Of the heavy in
demnity to be imposed on Germany
is duly paid.
Brooklyn Eagle: "Americaniza-
ton of our factories" is legitimate
aim of A. Mitchell Palmer, custodian
of alien property, who has been SELL
ing German-owned plants. He hopes
to have about s1,000,000,000 laid
aside to help in paying war claims
assessed against Kaiserdom later on.
Baltimore American: Italy will
have the proud satisfaction of know,
ing that the Irredenta was reclaimed
by force of arms-taken by conquest
from the enemy, and not coded by
peaceful negotiations. Over such an
enemy the triumph of might Is
double one.
Philadelphia Ledger: War activi-
ties and war expenditures can hardly
be stopped at once, as Senator Mar
tin demands; but the waste and ex-
travagance that have characterized
them cannot be stopped too soon.
Here is duty which congress ought
to take up in a fair and nonpartisan
spirit.
Brooklyn Eagle: Many Americans
as we'll as many Englishmen
will accept the London Express in
depreciation Of the vote to restore
republican control in our congress,
viz, that the Americans once salts
fed to be behind Wilson in pushing
the war, now want to be in front Of
him. Not apathy, but eagerness
caused the shift Of sentiment.
New York Herald: 1t once was
Held that the British press was I'M
able to understand America and the
American people. Now, however,
the London Daily Express says:-
'"The victories Of the republicans in
Tuesdays election show that the
American people are not only ready
to follow President Wilson, but anx-
ious to get in front Of him. America
is for victory unqualified and COM
plete."
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
ODD BITS OF LIFE.

In six days 313 carloads Of AFRO
stock potatoes have been shipped out
of Maine.
Cloth made out Of banana fiber is
the latest move in conservation of
material. What kimonos it ought
to understanding to slip on.
Mrs. Julia Richard of Lands, Ark,
not only makes the clothes worn by
her family of five, but also spins the
cloth she uses for this purpose.
A pair of steers sold by Rawlin
Trott Of Woolwich, Me-, for $3.50
weighed when dressed $500 pounds
and furnished 2,400 pounds Of meat.
One-tenth of all the sheep owned
in Maine are on the farm of Will
liam B. KendaM at Bowdoinham,
and on another big farm at West
Kennebunk.
Oxford county, Maine, has a rec
ord of two girls who walked two
miles and picked blueberries for II,
days out of 10 and sold more than
$50 worth at Is and 20 cents a quart
this season.
Oakland, Cal, has just had a land
show, at which one evening they had
d tug of-war between a giant tractor
Ind a giant team of horses (Which
means whole lot Of horses, and not
merely two enormous ones.)
A young Chicago bank clerk
named Cross, filling out his question
naire, wrote, in answer to the query
as to whether he had any children,
"One expected" Instead Of one,
two arrived, both red-headed, like
the father. One has been named
Red Cross and the other Chris Cross.
A peculiar state of affairs is re-
ported from PASSPORT and vicinity,
where the Canadians, coming over to
dispose Of their fish and to trade, re-
fuse to take their own Canadian
money in change. Canadian cur.
rency has been at ~ per cent
discount, but Eastport merchants
have agreed to accept it at par.
A policeman called on for help at
Greensburg, Pa, killed a boa con-
strictor that had driven the janitor
Of an Office building out Of the fur
nace-room, where he had just start
ed a fire in the furnace. A fruit
merchant next door recently re-
ceived big consignment of tropical
fruits and 1t is believed that the
snake was brought TO Greensburg in
barrel of fruit and hid itself among
the boxes Of kindfing In the furnace
room
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
Around the Cities

Sioux City's moral squad works
overtime nearly every night. Its a
large Job and must be done In the
dark.
Los Angeles authorities have torn
down six miles of billboard advertis-
ing and are still on the job. An
ordinance for civil petterment gave
the municipal axe the legal swing.
New York's political sporting
blood almost touch the zero mark
as the fall campaign just closed.
Betting on the result was the small
est the city has known, less than
$4,000 changing hands.
Election results and the wars An
ish heartened Chicago saloonists and
they are floCking to the captains Of
nee with the quarterly installment
or license money. The boss of the
license bureau expects every one of
the 1851 saloonists in the city to
come across.
Eleven Chicago job printing shops
have received word from Washing
ton to cut out the little game of
pulling the neither members of Uncle
Sam in railroad job work prices. An
understanding to smother COMPETE
tive bidding riled General Manager
McAdoo, who swung the vocal club.
Educational authorities of st.
Louis plan to make up for some of
the school time lost on account of
the FLU by adding % minutes a
day to the school hours. This will
account for Is Of the rs days lost,
and the balance Is to be absorbed
by modified methods of instruction.
The planning commission of Sioux
City looks ahead to a city Of 100000
population and plans accordingly. In
a preliminary report the commission
says the business section could not
possibly expand on the south or east
and that expansion on the north is
not practical, so therefore the BUSH
ness section must move west" Perry
creek, the one obstacle in that d.
rection, must be eliminated. Flood
control of Floyd river is also a flu
ture necessity.
Once in a while Justice hits the
right gait in Chicago police circles
On Monday last one of the cops on
duty took on aabeautiful jag, regard
less Of regulations, and cheered and
danced in reckless fashion until
brother cops took him in, minus
star and coat. Some one whispered
to the chief; HE has three sons in
France and has just had word that
all three are alive and we'll. Then
came news Of the wars end. Can
you blame him." mot for one Jug
full" whispered the chief, as he or
dered the offender back on duty and
the offense stricken off the blotter.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
SAM TO PEACE.

Peace! Peace! Hurrah the war ends;
Whoop, bangl Well sugar off!
Have coal to toast our bunions,
Relieve that cough-up cough!
Have wheat flour bread. an pancakes,
Instead Of substitutes,
Drink real tea an coffee,
No more dogberry roots!
No carry hens a-struttn'
Their eggs 10 cents shell!
No steers an sheep a buttin',
Cause steaks five cents a smell!
No grocer with card scepter.
Nor yardstick in store,
Ole Gaiser has toboggoned.
The world has peace once more.
Peace! Whoop! No Kaiser Hoover
Compelin' eatless eat,
Commander drinkless drinkin'
An pants with seatless seat!
We've eat, an drunk, an dreamed wan
Our victory Is complete;
We've had a meet and made peace,
Let's have a piece Of meat
Alton, N. Y. LII B. CAKE
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
Timely lettings and Reminders.

One hundredth anniversary of the
death of Queen Charlotte of Eng
land, whose memory is perpetuated
in the name of the Charlotte Islands
off the western coast of Canada.
The week beginning today has
been set aside for observance of
christian Enlistment Week" by all
the Baptist churches in the North
ern Baptist convention.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Towsley by the military of the city
and fort.
A surprise party was rendered to
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Dickens at
theis home, 1914 South Thirty
third, street.
The residence of George A. Hoag-
land was scene of gayety, the oc-
casion being a reception and ball in
honor of the debut of the hosts
daughters, Miss Laura and Miss
Anna Willard.
Miss Stella Singer was rendered
a pleasant surprise by her several
friends.
F. A. Smith of Philadelphia is
visiting friends in the city.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
This Day in History.

l7S7-Sir Samuel Cunard, founder
of the Cunard line of steamships,
born at Halifax, N. S. Died in Lon
don, April %, 1865.
l866-The union of Vancouver Is
land to British Columbia was pro-
claimed.
19O3-Canadian mounted police
occupied Herschel Island, and hoist
ed the British flag.
1907-Secretary Root opened the
Central American peace conference.
l9l0-Ralph tombstone, who
made worlds record for altitude
at Belmont Park, was killed by a
fall with his aeroplane at Denver.
l9l4Russans forced the Ger
mans to fall back along the whole
front in East Prussia.
l9l5-British hospital ship, Anglia,
sunk by mine and nearly 100 SOL
diers drowned.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Secretary Burleson proposes to go ahead
with the wires of the country just as if he really
owned them. If he gets the service into the
same fix he did the postoffice it will be an awful
black eve for public ownership
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
The Day We Celebrate.

Giuseppe Campanari, operate bar;
itone, born in Venice, Italy, 50 years
ago.
Col. Jacob c. Johnson, U. S. A.,
inspector-general of the first Amer
lean field army, born in Ohio, 40
years ago.
Henry A. Shute, New Hampshire
jurist and author, born at Exeter,
N. H., 62 years ago.
Rt. Rev. Matthew Harkins, CATH
olic bishop of Province. born in
Boston, Is years ago. g. /.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
-TQDA]
One Year Ago Today in the War.

British and German light cruis-
ers came into action off Helgoland.
ustro-Germans crossed the Pave
at Zenson, but were annihilated.
After heavy fighting the bolshe-
wiki troops gained decisive victory
in Moscow.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

The Los Angeles police magistrate has ruled
that kissing in public is not crime, thereby
increasing the attractions Of the southern Cali
fornia climate and adding another persuasion
to the boomers long list.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

"You only had to come out to get it," re-
piled Admiral Wemyss to German naval off,
Ger, who thought the German navy should not
be surrendered because it had not been beaten
And that tells the whole story.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

French and Yankee soldiers are hustling
along to occupy Metz, and so reassure the popu-
lation of Mulhausen and other towns therea-
bouts that the new order of things means peace.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Riotins Hun soldiers in Brussels are giving
especial attention to their own officers. All the
hatred OF forty years of brutal training is being
visited on those who were unfortunate enough
to survive the war and fall into the clutches of
the men they abused
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
In Omaha 80 Years Ago Today.

The Home Circle social club op-
ened its eighth season with a most
brilliant party in Masonic hall
The garrison hall at Fort Omaha
was the scene of an elaborate recep-
ton rendered Lieutenant and Mrs.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

1t has been suggested by noncombatant
that the Huns be required for time at least
to subsist on apples from the orchards of north
ern France.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Now we know why the Germans grabbed all
the rolling stock from the railroads they seized
in Belgium France and Russia. They wanted
the cars to haul food to the starving women
and children at home.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Restriction ON price limit on shoes has been
removed, the War board believing supply and
demand will serve to regulate the business. We
will see whether it does.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Our French friends are getting ready to fet'
President Wilson on his arrival in Paris. WI
they be disappointed? '-- -.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

The British food commissioner sticks to his
guns, just like his Yankee compeer, but that is
not bringing prices down any.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Pilsudski is the name of the new head OF
Poland. We begin to understand why Freedom
shr;eked when Kosciusko fell.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

The European deck is being pretty we'll
stripped of kings and queens right now, but the
other cards have moved up in value.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Why should excess profits escape taxation
now any more than in war time? Secretary
McAdoo's proposal to exempt them hardly is
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

The proposed Order of the Gold Star has
much merit in it and should be made perpetual
memorial for real Americans.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

y Any stup in the tax bill will be appreciated
BY a nation whose resources were. beginning to
feel the strain of big doings.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Now, if ever the world is going to have an
illustration of the vicious circle in relation to
inflated prices, and the chances are that every
body will suffer some before its effects disap-
pear. A..
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

The Czecho-Slav republic is fact now; it
has commenced to borrow money from the
United States. r.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Johnny will be marching home very shortly
now, and will find all set to give him the
proverbial hearty welcome. =
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

II the German army couldn't stop the Amer
lean soldiers, how can the weather man nope
to accomplish that feat?
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

lust be patient little while longer, and the
fruit of victory will be secured. Overhaste may
destroy it. 90
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

These fall rains are taking the terror out OF
next summer.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17

Omaha cleaned up we'll on the war work
drive. but that is habit We have.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
So ~--uy.Ss.,: :zsss ~'';s1.r;a.T""<5
Ta5sFESinplo
:MIAGEloeence

A ceremony of quiet, simple ele-
gance dignifies your farewell to a
departed one. We make consistent
charge for such a service. Let us
advise you. Our wide experience
will be of value to you and we will
only charge you for our actual SER
vices.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
N. P. SWANSON

Funeral Parlor. Established 1882
18th and Cunning SITS. Doug. 1860.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1918-11-17
The New Watch ON the Rhine
By T. /. FITZMoRRIS.
A roar like thunder strikes the ear
Like clang of arms or breakers near,

who shields thee, my beloved Rhine?"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-01-03

Petrograd Wednesday, Jan 2-Russa torn by revolution and internal dissensOns stands today the brink of declaring upon Germany and reslng hostiies with greatly duced army Of probably 3,OOO,OOO men.
 The pacific B0lshevik and the most ardent pacS in the nation declare that the peace negotiations cOncuSve prove Germany does not want democratic peace with the great Sav nation and they declare the resumption of hosies is mmi- nen expressing the belief that it possible h organize and make effective small army.
 Feeling in PetrOgrad has been intensified by dispatch reports transfer 3OOOOO civilian Poles and The Belgium and fOrciby depOred ito Germany.
 The Russian peace delegation officially has suggested the Central powers that the meeting place of the peace delegates transferred to neutral soil and has protested against certain articles Austro German terms already submitted
 is the halt in the RussoGerman peace negotiations and indications of German refusal to the conference to Stock revived general discussion in Petrograd of resumption of fighting.
 Indications are that the German attitude is narmonizing domestic differences and convincing Russians that they must fight to their revolutionary principles.
 Chairman Joe of the Russian peace delegation sent of cal telegram today the chairman of the German Austrian Bulgarian and Turkish allegations saying the Russian repub necessary to conduct further negotiations neutral soil and suggesting transfer of the conference to Stockholm The telegram declares that replies to the message are expected by Russia in Petrograd
 Articles and of German terms submitted Dec with the principles definition of nations insisted by the Russian peace delegation and supported by the Russian public and the central executive committee of the congress of worzmen's and soldiers delegates
 Pergad newspapers and democratic The Fava says  of the maska show it's claws
 (Coninued on Page Six
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-01-03
GE RMAN
 UNIFORM
 WARMESI
Soldiers Half As Warm As TeutOn Foe, Senate PrObers Learn From Cloth Ex- pert - Exhibit Piece of Huns Coat.

Washington, Jan. 3 - The American marine is the warm est dressed of all Americas fighting men, the Senate mili- tary committee learned today from Michael E. Driscoll, a cloth expert from Raritan, N. J., and the German trooper in his gray dawn uniform has clothing 50 per cent. heav- fer and warmer and more cost ly than the American soldier.
 A worn, stained scrap of gray cloth, cut from the overcoat of the first Ger man prisoner taken by Gen. Pershing' S men, was held up to the view of the committee for examination. The committees investigation today turned on the much disputed point of whether oddly mixed with wool is good for a soldiers overcoat
 MT. Driscoll agreed with previous witnesses from the council of national defense that there was little difference in effect and that the clothing with ''re-worked WOOL mixed in was cheap CT. He favored heavier uniforms for the men in Europe.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-01-03
BINS BARE, BABE
 IN PLASTER CAST
 SUFFERS IN COLD

With her three-year-old child lying At home in a plaster cast, his suffer ings increased by the lack of fuel, and in the care of a woman who has just beeen discharged from hospital, Mrs Q. Oates, ITS South avenue, waited in vain to obtain a supply of coal at the fuel committees office today.
 After three hours of waiting the woman pleaded for fueI, saying that if she did not get it today she would be unable to come again tomorrow be- cause the woman caring for her child would not be strong enough to sit up another morning.
 Another woman, whose name could not be learned, cried hysterical1y when it was announced no more orders would be issued shortly after 10 o'eock. In heart rendering tones she told of the suffering endured by her self and four small children, who have been absolutely without fuel for the last four weeks.
 Scores of other women vept when the announcement was made after they had been standing in line since davbreak. A policeman requested the women to leave the corridors of the Stratfeld building annex, but they re- fused, saying, "It's warmer here than in our homes" Many of them stayed around the fuel committee's door un- til after noon. During the day more than 200 persons were turned away with instructions 'to get around early tomorrow"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-01-03
CASE OF MEASLES REPORTS
 DEVENS OFFICERS

Camp Devens, Aver, Mass, Jan. 3 More than 5000 men of the 303d and 304th Regiments are affected by the quarantine caused by the second e SC of measles discovered here. Ac- cording to the medical experts at the camp while the measles e. not ordi- narily cause serious illness frequently an attack of measles is followed by an attack of pneumonia and the first attack leaves the men in such weak ened condition that they are unable to resist the ravages of the scond at- tack.
 Several companies in the 304th Regiment yesterday were among the first in camp to receive issues of the new, long, vicious bayonets. The new bayonet field behind the base hospital which thisr egiment has been build- ing is almost>> finished. The targets consist of willow dummies swinging from a gallows cross-piece, and afford excellent marks for parries and thrusts. The S04th is also spending much of it's time in the trench area, reconstructing old works, and build ing new ones according to the latest plans brought across from Europe.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-01-03
CONAN WAS NOT
 AWARE DAYTON
 STOLE MACHINE

Trial of Edward Cowan of Stillman street. accused of taking an automo- bile owned by Frank Jacoby without leave. was resumed in the criminal common pleas court today before Judge Walsh and a 1urv. Judge Walsh for the third time during the trial denied a motion for it's contln- uanee-
 Cowan was a companion of David Layton. who took Jacoby's car the night of November 30. and with two young women went to New York. On the return trip the machine was wrecked in Westport. and Miss Hazel Waterman of 9O5 Noble avenue died from injuries received.
 Solomon Badesch, representing Cowan. pleaded for a continuance on the ground he is i'll. and had not had opportunity to prepare the defence, in which he is assisted by Attorney F. U. Breen. Breen twice made a similar motion yesterday. but was denied by Judge Walsh.
 Judge Walsh today said that Ba- desch, who filed the appeal from the city court should have prepared for his appearance. and he again denied the motion.
 Cowan claims he was told by Lay ton, who drove the car. he had per mission to use it from Jacoby, and Layton on the stand today said he told Cowan that story. Qnut it was un- true. Layton is serving six months in jail for taking the car. and has also been held erininally responsible for the accident which caused the death of Miss Waterman