The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1918-04-08
BY PRIVATE JOHN C. McELWEEN

BY PRIVATE JOHl GA more vivid, thrilling, humorous, witty, gruesome, zippy and rolickingly funny story of the life in the trenches has never been written. The narra- tor of this Life in the Trenches" is a young Sotcnman who at the out break of the war was employed in the capacity of a humble clerk in a Lon don bank. In the following chapters he tells the story of his numberless adventures from the day of his land ing at certain French port to the time when he was Tagged for Bligh- ty."
 (Participator in more than twenty "battles," fifty raids" and three Great Pushes;" wounded eight times but never asked to be Sent home,"- each time returning to the battle line for he was lonesome for thetrenches and the Fritzies,'' cursing at nisfor- tune with always smile on his lips; | now laughing, now signing, but never grumbling; this wonderful specimen of Scottish grit and English sports | manship tells a story that keeps his reader always near him; feeling his every impulse, cursing when he curses and laughing when he laughs.) That wound of mine did not keep me away from our dear Fritzies very long. It only scratched the thick part of my right leg, and three days of recuperation at an improvlsed hospi- tai behind the firing line fitted me up again. Really could hardly keep quiet all night when the hospital orderly in- fornfed me that on the next day l would be permitted to return to my company. What a Candid Fritz Told Him By the way. That night-the night before the morning on which I was due at the front, patches of Hun pris- oners were brought in. One of the hospital officials ordered about fifty of us to go out with sandwiches and coffee, and administer the first aid" to the Huns empty stomachs. The poor devils There were about a thous- and in the horde, and the whole out fit look starved.
 We went out with the food, and what do you think the Fritzies did2 Well, they made for us instantly, and we had our hands full in keeping the hungry Fritzies in line.
 Huns Quarrel Among Themselves
 As soon as their stomachs were fill ed up with good British food, the Huns began to quarrel amongst them selves, and in another instant the Huns were fighting Huns.
 How these Huns would not mind us British Privates. So I ran to the company headquarters and informed an officer that the Fritzies were scrapping amongst thmselves, and that the presence of an officer was required. A captain with g. whip in his hand rushed to the cage with me, but believe me our officer had hard ly reached the grounds when the Fritxies were separated like a bunch of tom cats, who were raising a rack ct in the back yard, that got a cold bath thrown from bucket of water from a back kitchen window.
 A German Officer Badly Treated
 After the scrap we went inside the cage on an investigation tour The whole trouble was this:
 Aftre the Fritzies were fed, their officers began to reproach them for not having fought further instead of surrendering. Now Fritz had enough of his officers bull dozing, and even our dear and patient Fritz had his limitations in standing everything that his Hun Superior handed to him at the end of his boot. It was a real sight, what the indignant Fritzies had done to their overbearing Sups. But we were not going to discipline the Fritzies for that. That was one or- fense against good manners the Fritz ies had committed for which we could affOtd to stretch our palms and say: Here Is a shake, old Fritz, do it again but please do not make so much noise while doing it next time. You know il is against the international law to kill your officers
 Just before I withdrew to my bunk I got engaged in conversation witt one of the Fritzies. This Fritz spoke English with a Yankee twang, ant told me in good old English that st far as he was concerned, the war wa. over, and the Fatherland could go tC hell in full speed. After the wal h. was going to America, and spend tn rest Of his life in hating the Prussians
 It Is In Him-The Hate
 I will tell you 1t is in the nature o the Hun, he must hate, and unless h ds hating something or somebody h 1s never happy.
 I asked him point blank what h thought of the war outlook for Ger many. For a moment he looked as he were going to fly into a tempe, but he controlled himself with a effort, and answered after a few sec ends of reflection-"You will vii and you deserve to win. We hay Teen to clever. We have gone to
 and must now put up with tn
 eQuences.
 Our men are fighting on wit
 courage of despair. They kno
 crmany cannot win, but they hop lat if they fight on the Allies wi luarrel among themselves, or tt people in Allied countries will wear of the war and force their gover1 ment to make peace.
 T don't believe anything of tt kind, but our men still think 1t pol sihle, and they are encouraged in tn;