South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-10-06


asks an inquisitive subscriber Of !
Lincoln way W. Much OF the happi- |
ness OF humanity is due 10 the cir |
cumstance that people don't know !
they are crazy. The most unhappy /
people OF the earth are those who |
are crazy and have found it out.
We trust 2. J. W. F. will leave /
that bottle or Kentucky moOnshine
at home while he attends church |
this morning. We know that sect.
Vice Pres't Marshall had 70 fee
from the burning willard in his
night clothes. That was not the dam !
aging circumstance, however. lie
was logged in republican pajamas
instead OF the grand old democratic
night shirt with the side Sits.
one year more and the kaiser will
not be addressed as ''All Highest"
That blasphemous appellatiOn all
disappear entirely, save possibly in
some ancient and amalgamated or
der OF titulary jackasses.
Our heart is with the boys who
man the guns, despite the fact that
we shall not run for the legislature
in 1920. You can't imagine how fine
II is to have "A regard for ordinary
folks without having a selfish ham
kering after their votes.
Gen. Allenby scored magnificently
when he captured $4,000 Turks. oh,
if they only had been $4,000 tur-
keysi
As a matter of fact, the youthful
years were rot as full of happiness
as we are apt to think they were.
bruises, castor oil, eating at the sec
ond table when visitors were pres
ent, solemn, silent and cold meat
Sabbaths, et cetera. But, gee. how
any Of us would be glad 10 go back
to them.
We cannot understand how Earl
Fink got into the city With that car
go of kentucky moOnshine without
our lynx-eyed police force pinching
him.
Somebody wants 70 see william
:. Hart go to the front instead of re-
naming here 10 teach the boys TO
be murderers. Never. Human nature
requires so much blood and thunder
stuff and Bill supplies 1t without
hurting anybody. Not only that. IL
may be that Bill couldn't hit a bOche
at 10 PAGES.
But why do they call it Spanish
influenza when il is perfectly clear
that the germs were originated and
dessemated by the Germans?
One of our folk thought Misha-
waka could not get her quota in so
minutes He doesn't understand that
it is not the subscribing that con
sumes the time, but the getting OF
/ the spirit 10 move. Sometimes, and
in some places ono names). it re-
| ouires several weeks to fire the spirit
up TO the point Of parting with a
| ten-spot. II took Mishawaka exactly
| one minute after the campaign
/ opened to raise better than its
quota.
Our restaurants are beginning 10
| serve country sausage-an unfailing
/ sign that the year has reached the
/ stage when we must begin to con
slider the dimensions Of the demo-
cratic majority the eXigencies of
I a.. d.
Bacon. butter, eggs and other
small incidents of human subsist-
| ence go up again. Bacon, by the
way. is q product Of the hogs that
are killed The rise in price is a pro
duct OF hogs who ought to be kill
ed and are not.
We suspect it is Spanish influenza
superinduced by German influences
/ Whatever it is, we find there ace a
number Of men who believe the only
cure for it is whisky.
They are talking about fixing
! guaranteed price for hogs that peo-
pie can eat-not the kind that are
| cannibals.
! Don't kick at the government
! about inconvenience so long as that
job in Europe is being done up
brown.
IL looks to US as If George b.
; williams was the very man 10 take
| charge of the canvass among the
factories Of the city. The results he
attained are sufficient answer TO
the charge that George is overly
modest In any case. it is such red
bloOded Americans that make
Mishawaka a good place 10 live in.
our Hibernian friend. Mister
/ Dooley. SOS +. Fourth St. writes Us
as follows: While making this old
world decent place 20 live in.
wouldn't il pay to make r. Fourth
st. a decent thoroughfare 10 live on?
For instance, start at Union st. and
walk east and count the Stars and
Stripes on display. They are prac-
tically an unknown quantity I
suggest that "A collection be taken
up for the purpose OF buying Flags