Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-08-02
Luke McLmIse SAYS.

Lake Says.
The average reformer is such a long
faced kill-joy that he seems to 60
through life on the theory that he
laughs best who laughs least.
There was a time when a well-buiit
girl didn't dare to go out without a
corset. We said there WAS a time.
When q married couple cant agree
on anything else, II doesn't take them
long to agree to separate.
Isn't 1t funny how a man can raise
SO much hair in his ears when he
can't raise any on the top OF his
head7
When a man fails. he climbs back
up. But when a woman falls h hits
the bottom.
When q man marries for the first
time, he is afraid he won't be good
enough for his bride. But when he
marries the second time he is afraid
his bride won't be good enousa for
him.
Real estate In a certain location In q
big city is valued at $50. 900 a square
foot. Whaddy va mean: las cheap as
dirt3"
You do not have to concentrate
your power of observation to notice
that q mans conversation Is never 80
empty as when he is full.
About the only time some men toe
the mark L. when they think they have
a kick coming.
It is the duty Of every girl to culti-
waite patience. She Is going to need Q
whole lot of IT when she gets married,
1t doesn't matter what q woman
sends her husband to buy for her, she
is certain to tell him that h could
have gotten 1t two cents cheaper II she
had gone herself.
A wife will tell you that IL IL over.
= 4 a II. -..rwAa 49, A0Af - A4EAA Rms
her husband can tell You that II II
overtalk.
1t may seem ~paradoxlcal. But 1t Is
a fact that a man viii stand up fol
himself even II he has 20 lie to 90 II
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who was afraid that heI
children would be kidnapped by gyp-
sies7.
The giri who uses so much powder
on her face that she looks like q
marshmallow may imagine that the
men think she is the Candy Kid. But
she has another think Coming.
A man doesn't realize how we'll on
he is when a girl fits him. Being
disappointed in love keeps him from
being disappointed in marriage.
One a to get ahead Is to remem-
Der that 1--WE minutes OF Today Il
worth five hours of Tomorrow.
XIII G4A 4h0QA 4t&t0 val 80
could fall in love with her. But II he
falls In love with some other girl she
wonders where the poor boob's eyes
are.
Judging from some Of the alliances
they make, II seems as though 9
woman would rather be married thar
be happy.
War may be He'll. But there il nc
word thai Is At to print that viii
come anywhere near telling what
Kultur is.
And no power on earth could make
a woman wear a hat that hides her
hair IL the hat didn't cost more thar
the hair,
Another thing you may have dis
covered is that a man doesn't have
TO be loaded TO shoot on his mouth
Many a man makes capital out OF
his Spotless Reputation when the
fact Is that he has been lucky enough
never to get caught.
Another eason why the Divorces
Courts are kept busy Is because q sir
will marry a man just because D II
afraid some other girl win get him.
Everything In life seems 70 have
some use except the vermiform ap-
pendix and the kaiser.
Before the present congress ad-
jOurns IL should enact a law prohibit
ing soldiers from wearing bars on
their uniforms and compelling them
TO comb their hair airy.
II would be hard for any comedian
10 be funny as a fat man In a for
looks.