New-York tribune., 1918-08-09
Shoes and Ships
And Sealing Wax
TOMMY CARRIES ON

Oh, the Doocal 'Ouse down Lunnon Wv
was filed with gloom that night,
! That three of US was scheduled for to
join the bloody fight.
We was a bally, blinkin', bloomin'
bunch O raw recroots--
Me that was butler to the Hearl. Is
Gryce 'imself, and Boots.
We'd been fghtin' side by side like for
per'aps a 'arf a year,
And none of US a-lettin' on we knows
the others near.
A Dock cawn't see is butler; 'tisn t
done, Y understan'
And me that was butler to Hearl,
could know andy man.
Then comes along shocking dy; Ber-
-, I'm 'ad give us ell:
We was more than 'arf inclined to quit,
when comes bit O. shell
with Boots's number on it. ART is
fyce is torn aw'y
l forgot ! was 'ead butler. ard i'm a
Boots that d'y.
Another bloke and me was at Us side
in just two winks,
And I was Private 'Awkins then and
Boots was Private Jinks.
II a been my nipper, we'll, couldn't
feel no wuss,
con, little Boots, you surely was the
eynest little cussD.
With 'arf is features missin', e Just
whispers, Thanks, Yer Gryce."
And sees the Doocal ankercher
awipin' of is fyce.
But twas me that took i'm in me arms;
twas on the buffers breast
That the plucky little beggar gave a
smile, and just---went West.
And twas ME that wrote is gal that
night, asittin' in the trench,
Me that was 'ead of the servants all,
and she scullery wench.
Well. that was 'arf year ago, and
things is different since;
The Dock might be beggar now, and
me 'aughty Prince.
Oh, twas 'Awkins this" and "'Awkins
that and always "Yes, Yer Gryce."
Now it's "Chuck us yer 'baccy, COM
rade," and ! shoves it in is fyce.
Yes, wars a bloomin' leveller, from
Colonel to recroots
The Dock and me is pals, yer see
and all along O. Boots.
Vida SALVAGE OWENS.
These unsportsmanlike British.
They've gone and eluded the Germans,
"Js it," "H. P" wants to know. Cen
eral Ludendorff or General Elude-
There is woe and drouth in Matti-
tuck, L. I.
Feminine members of the towns
younger set who set out painting for
the village soda fountain early yester-
day were confronted with the following
sign When they entered the drug store
where it stands:
FOUNTAIN CLOSED FOR THE SEA-
son. DAMN THE KAISER.
The sixth soda clerk that the drug
glst had hired this year left yesterday
to JON the colors, and with wages in
munltion factories what they are he
Despite the heat, "Biliken" insists
on announcing that since the Quarter
masters Corps feeds the army it is
we'll that Robert Chew has been ap-
pointed a second lieutenant in that
body.
If f1ocks OF grackle return to the
trees on Summit Avenue, Mount
vernon, to-day. residents intend to
ask the Governor to intervene, for
they have exhausted all other means
at their command.
For weeks now the matutinal souawk
of the waking grackle has walked every
one in earshot, too. Day before yester-
day, residents who had been robbed
OF precious hours of slumber appealed
to the police. That evening the force,
armed with shotguns, sneaked up on
the grackle roosts and opened FIRE. The
casualties were heavy and the flock
apparently dispersed But yesterday
morning there they were again!
Last night the Fire Department
came to the rescue and turned the
hose on the invaders, who vanished
again. If this doesn't work permanent
ly, dwellers on Summit Avenue insist
that they are going to- call for the
"Meatless and heatless days." saws
"E. R. r." ''have stepped aside of
sleepless and sheetless nights"