The Yale expositor., 1918-10-03
FROM THE GERMAN FRONT
End lOklahomal Event.

EllQ AOklduOlndJ Events
The dispatches say that the crown
prince is urging the kaiser to send
more help and has written the great
headquarters of conditions on the
front where he recently started his
big drive. OF course, we have not
been furnished with an exact text of
his letters, but we imagine they run
something like this:
"On der Run, SomeVere in France,
August 20 Times-Dear papa | am
wriding on der run, as der prave und
glorious soldiers under my command
haf not seen der Rhine for so long
dey have started back that way, und
of Course | am going NIT. Oh, pap,
dere has been some offel dings hap
pening here in France.
First, | sdarded in my big often
sive which vas to crush der fool
Americans but dey know so little
apout military tictacs dey will not be
crushed, chust like | wanted 'em.
sent my men in der fight in big vafes
und ven dey got TO der Americans
del al said: 'Boo! as loudt as dey
could holler VEIL aggording to vat
you haf always toldt me der Ameri-
cans should haf turned und run like
PLACES. But vat do you tink? Dem
fool Americans don't know anything
about var und instead OF running der
odder way, dey came right toward us.
Some of dem vas singing Something's
like We Won't go back till its ofer,
ofer dere,' or some oder foolish song,
und some of dem yer lafing like
fools
"Dey are so ignorant, but dey are
so offel reckless NIT dere guns, und
ven dey come towards us 1t was den
that my men took notion dey want
ed to go back to der old Rhine, We
don't like red little old dirty Marine
river, anyhow. Und, oh, papa, der
Americans use such oftel langwich.
Dey know nothing of kultur und say
such offel dings right before us. Und
dey talk blasphemy, too. Vat you
dinks dey said right in front OF my
face? Vun big husky guy from a
place dey call Oklahoma, he said
oh. papa, | hate TO tel you vat an
offel dings he said--'To hell init der
kaiserp Did you ever hear anydings
so offel- | didn't stand und hear such
offel dings, so | turned around und
run NIT der other boys Vas ! right!
vat? Und oh, pap, you know dem
breastplates vat you sent us-can
you send us ONE TO put on our
backs? you know We are going der
oder way now und breastplates are
no good, dor der cowardly Americans
are shooting us right in der backs.
Some OF der boys took dere breast
plates off and put 'em on behind,
but der fool Americans are playing
Der Star Spangled Banner NIT ma
chine guns on dem breastplates. Can
you help us? You remember in your
speech you said that holdings could
stand before der prave German sol
diers. oh, papa, don't believe der
ignorant Americans ever read your
speech. dor dey run after us chust
like We vas a lot of rabbits. Vat you
tink of dot? Can't you send dem
some Of your speeches right away!
Dey don't know how terrible We are.
Can't you move my army back to
Belchium. we're We Won all our glory!
NV men can vip all der vimmins und
children vot dem Belchians can bring
up. But dose Americans are so rough
und ignorant. You can't make dem
understand dot We are der greatest
soldiers on earth, and ven We try to
sing Deutschland Uber Allies dey
Ilaff like a lot of monkeys. But We are
getting der best of der Americans.
We can outrun dem. Papa, if We are
not der best fighters on earth We are
der best runers. Nobody can keep up
init us ven We tink of der dear old
Rhine. und my army nefer did tink
SO much of dot dear oldt river Let
me know right away by return post
ofice-Crown Prince Willie