The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-09-24
"OFFEL RECKLESS
NIT DERE GUNS"
Crown Prince Writes "Ve Beat Ameri-
cans, We Oudtrun Den" -Soldiers
Want to See the Rhine.

Sergt. Don. McAndrews of Des Moines
Ia, has sent letter to the Des Moines
Register which has made hit in that
state and which is reprinted herewith.
Sergt McAndrews is now in training in
Valparaiso, Ind. He represents the Ger
man crown prince as writing to the en-
peror that the army of the crown prince
beats the Americans by outrunning them.
The letter:
Somewhere in France.
On der run,
8" All der time
Dear Papa:
Il am writing on der run, as der brave
and glorious soldiers under my command
have not seen der Rhine for SO long dat
dey started back dat way, and of course
/ am going NIT dem. Oh, papa. dere has
been some offel dings happened here in
France First, / started in my big of
fensive which was to crush de fool Ameri-
cans, but dey know so little about mill
tary tactics dat dey will not be crushed
just like / want dem. | sent my men in
der fight in big waves, and ven they got
to der Americans dey all sed boo yust
as loud as dey could holler.
We'll, according to vat you have al
ways told me. de Americans have turned
and run like blazes, but vat do you tink =?
Dem fool Americans don't know any,
ting about var, and instead of running
de odder way dey came right at US.
Some of dem vas singing about We Won't
come back till it's all ofer, offer dere, or
some odder foolish song and some of
dem was laffing like fools. Dey are so
ignorant.
But dey are offel reckless nit dere
gums, and ven dey come toward us it
vas den dat my men took notion dev
wanted to go back to der dear old Rhine
We don't like de little, dirty Marine river,
anyhow. And, oh papa, dem Americans
use such offel language. And dey talk
blasphemy. too Vat you tink dey said
right in front of my face. One big husky
from a place dey call Iowa, he said-Oh.
papa, hate to tell you vat on offel ting
he said-but | can't help it-he said,
TO hel NIT der kaiser | didn't tink
anybody would say such an offel ting.
"And furdemore, dem Americans can't
be much of chentlemens. 1t made me
so mad I wouldn't stand an hear such
an offel ting so | turned around and run
nit dc odder boys. Vas | right? Vat
And, oh. Papa, you know dem breast
plates vot you sent us-can YOU send us
some to put on our backs? You know
we are going de odder way now and
breast plates are no good-de cowardly
Americans are always shooting us right
in der back
Some of our boys took off der breast
plates and put dem behind. but de foo
Americans are playing Der Star Spangled
Banner nit machine guns right on den
plates. Can't you help us? You remem-
Der in your speech, for YOU sed nothing
could stand before de brave German?
'Oh, Papa, | don I believe desc igno,
rant Americans ever read your speech
for dev run after MS like ve vas lot OF
rabbits. Not you tink of dot Won't you
send dem some of your speeches right
away. Dey don't know how terrible "
are2 Can't you move my army back t,
Belgium we're We Won all der time? NJ,
men Will vip all de vimmen and children
vot dem Belgians can bring US. but des
Americans are so rough and ignorant.
We can't make dem understand da
ye are der greatest soldiers on earth
and ven We try to sing Deutschland be
Allies dey laff like lot of monkeys. bu
We are getting de best of de Americans
| We can outrun dem, Papa. If We are no
der best fighters on earth, We are der hes
runners. Nobody can keep mp nit II
ven We tink of der old Rhine. and my arm,
never did tink 50 much of dot dear oh
| Rhine. eder. Let me know yot to d
| right away by return post office
I Crown Prince Willie. =