The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-05-05


anything he does anyhow that a
woman couldn't do better"
she was~ RIGHT" said %anthippe.
/ Perfectly right. ! read that article
my self and cut IL out and pasted 1t
on Socrates mirror where he couldn't
help but see it. MAN? Well--one was
enough for me"
still, my dear" said Portia. you
must admit that Socrates was n
wonderful thinker"
Yes. as IA setter and a thinker he
was all right " said Xanthippe, ''but
after all what do these philosophers
amount to anyhow? BROMTDES,
that's what | used to read some of
Socrates magazine articles to see
what people found so interesting, and
believe me, 1t was just plain copy
book stuff such as T used to have to
write out in the first grade grammar,
Stuff like--A BIRD IN THE HAND
IS WORTH TWO IN TIE BUSH,
and ATIiS NOT GOLD THAT FI1T
ERS. and a few other FUNDAMEfN-
tai TRUTHS like that, as If every
body didn't know EN- already Yes.
he was strong on bromides. but when
1t came TO doing things around the
house~~well, / was the Socratic Hired
Man. all right He couldn't wash. he
couldn't iron. he couldn't cook. II
he ever sewed a button on his toga
he located 1t eighteen miles from its
hutton-hole. and absent minded, My,
how absent minded he wasi I'd send
him out for a yeast cake, and he'd
come back a week later with paper
of lacks IN his hand and tell me that
was all they had in stock"
And yet he has been handed down
to posterity as a wise man" said
Catherine Of Russia.
We'll he was wise in a way" said
Xanthippe AT least he was wiser
than I was He married me, but l.
| MARRIED HIM"
1T always makes me laugh when
people talk about these Men Sages'
and Wizards anyhow" said Lady
Macbeth. Macbeth had Sir Isaac
Newton home for lunch the other day,
and while 7 found him most
charming gentleman, he was terribly
vain about. girls?"
He'd probably discovered as So
crates was always doing that a stitch
On The Back Is Worth Two At The
Tailor's.' said Xanthippe.
1t was worse than that" laughed
Lady Macbeth, Actually the poor
Man was proud because ne had dis
covered that when an apple falls off
n tree it drops down instead OF scoot-
ing off like a sky rocket into the cmpy-
rcan. Why. I thought I'd die when
he told me about 1t, he was so sol
EMMY convinced that 1t was a marve-
/ lous discovery, IT, was only because
! / was his hostess that ! restrained
nay impulse TO ask him what ON earth
the apple could do but drop. never
saw an apple skid like the hind
wheels OF iitney taking "A curve at
forty miles did you Mrs. Noah?n
! I've lived many a long year. my
dear replied Mrs. Noah, land I've
seen many a queer thing in my day.
but I've never yet seen an apple auto
matically spring off a tree and land in
/ the Great Dfpper-no. nor never shall
neither IL you want to know"
| We'll. men have their weaknesses
| or course" said Queen Elizabeth. but
after all I don't think 1t would be a
good idea to suppress them altogether
/ or to eliminate them from the general
scheme of life. They have their uses
! Fact Is l rather like men. I've had
| all kinds OF pets-monkies. parrots
dogs. chameieons. canary-hirds, and
what-not, and really 7 think a nice,
well-trained man, that knows his
place. and doesn't have to be muzzled
! in hot weather, and doesn't begin to
! velp at five A. M, makes a very pleas
ant sort of creature to have around
the place. They are more responsive
TO affection than cats, less vain tina n
pea-coccs, and not so noisy as par
rots. and canaries and you can teach
them all sorts OF cunning little tricks"
You can IL you have time" said
Xsnthippe,- but after have fed.
sewed, darned, and washed Socrates.
! what time did have to teach him
tricks?"
Well Xanthippe. dear said Eliza
I hot "a .,
inspired Socrates to deeds of high gall
lantry the way I inspired the men of
my time you'd feel differently about
II, OF course Socrates never took off
| his cloak and threw it down to cover
muddy place on the street so that
you might not soil your slippers as
! you crossed. as Sir Walter did for
no, thank Zeus. ne eidn't." said
Nanthippe IF he had I'd have got a
divorce then and there"
Divorce? For an act of courtesy
| like THAR" cried Queen Elizabeth.
staring at xanthippe coid1y through
Certainly" said xanthippe. ~and
! you'd have got one from Raleigh. too,
! n you'd been his wife and had to wash
that muddy old cloak after that fool
| performance"
| Well. 1 don't care retorted Eliza
! beth. Il like men. and I don't care
who knows it,
| "Of course you do. Lizzie. dear said
| Zanthippe. ~Becnuse you know, my
child. YOU NEVER MARRIED ONE
We'll, | find them at least endur-
able" said Portia. with a smile. "And
| really don't see how the world could
get on without them. and cannot see
| eve to eye with the American Lady
who wants a Prohibition Amendment
! fn he Yeti tyffa Inf Iuh
ia rather see them REGULATED. Now
the Diana system always seemed an
excellent one to me. When a man is
inconvenient'to have around. turn him
into something else. just Diana
turned Actaeon into a Stag, and then
when you happen to need him. turn
him back into Man again"
Rather clever" said Queen Eliza
I beth. II shouldn't at all mind that
! turn en- into horses or canary birds.
! and keep them In hox-stall or a
cage until needed. ~eh?''
Exactly" said Portia. IT think IL
would be vurry, vurry. nice"
| 1t was just then that Sir Walter
| Raleigh. az Master of Ceremonies.
/ mounted the dais at the end OF the
| Grand Salon. and tapping the Presi-
| Dental desk with his gavel called the
} In