davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Our Joe Miller Contest

Brett claims that the oldest j1ke is the one about the old lady who was on the witness stand in a Ken lucky mountain-county court and was describing the fracas that took place in her home. Tt didE't amount to nothing at first, Jedse."
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Teddy has been calling for an army of B. OOO OOO men men ana President Wilson wants to know what the ,uea is III Hmitlhe It to 5,0oO,00. What Teddy do with like that?-(Sharleston News and Courer) - ~
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Congressman says some of the dollar-a-year men get a dollar year more than they are worth That's nothihg. There are some s1,500-a-year in Con gross who get s7.500 a year more than they are worth.-( Houston Post.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

The Americans doing just what they went over to do They haxe meant to lick the Germans all the time.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Colonel Roosevelt and Judge Taft having made up, the of good feeling could extended by Sen ator Reed shaking hands with Herbert Hoover-(St Louis Globe-Democrat.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Yum, Yum!

(Camp Bowie (Tex) Reconnaissance. l,
 Luke McLuke. take notice. Miss May Street and Mr. Murphy Pickle live at Cleburne. Texas. Presum'ng they marry, is there a place open in the Club open for Sweet .p,ck!c? ?
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

she said. Bill Saunder called Jeff Smith a liar, and Jeff knocked him down with axe. Then one of Bills friends sliced big hunk out of Jeff with a knife, and then Sam Jones shot the feller that did the cuttin'. And then two more feilers shot the feller that did the shootin' an then two or three more fellers got cut right smart by somebody. This natchly caused bad feelins, Jedge, an then they commenced fightin."
 Names Is Names
 Golden Day is Superintendent of the Mountain Central Railway at Mccormick, Tex
 Our Daily Special
 Try and Keep Your Heart Softer Than Your Head.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Fooeyl l

He's one man on earth no woman
 will kiss, And men will keep away from Bill
 BuniOn; The moral is plain and the reason
 is this; His favorite flower is the onion.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Guatemala, having declared war on the Central Powers may throw a earthquake at them-(St. Louis Globe -Democrati)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Advice
Paw Knows Everything
More About Mary

Mary had little Ford, It's praises she would prattle, And everywhere that Mary went, The Ford was sure to rattle.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

ian treaty it will not produce a real peace, Rumanian Jews will still lack rights. This treaty is nothing but bartering for petroleum and rail ways.
 ''The treaty is nothing but dis guised, perhaps undisguised robbery Here the president called upon the speaker to observe moderation in his remarks. After further criti- cisms, Dr. Cohn exclaimed:
 Unless militarism is overcome we can not obtain a lasting peace." 
 Open evenings until August 1st.
 ROBT. SIMPSON.
 Give us your next order for trais- Ter work or coal Juneau Transfer Company. Phone 43.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

One country that is going to get all that is com ing to her after We settle Germany is Mexico( Bal timore Sun
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Me Have

We Have
 Luke: Have you ever noticed that the fellow who is loudest to below: And we won't care back till it's over, over there" is still here and is shy on Liberty Bonds, War Certificates and Red Cross Con ,ributions ?-shy on everything ex- ccpt talk?-(Joe H)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Come On, Fellows! Big boy if you want any action now. And want to know what glory means, Enlist today. get in the fray, Your Uncle Sam needs more mar ines
 -Iuke McLuke.) And if. perchance, they turn you down, You still may wear the Navy blue And come to glory and renown. Your Uncle Sam needs sailor3 too.
 -Detroit Free Press)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16

Open evenings until August 1st.
 ROBT. SIMPSON.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Correct!


 Correct! How was man distributed OH the earth?" asked the Teacher. He stepped on a banana peel, v replied the Bright Scholar
 Advice Some good advice I give to you, Learn it by heart, for it is true Who lives beyond his means, lad Will find the outcome will be had.
 Paw Knows Everything Willie-Paw, what are complica, tiOns? T~ w-Complications are the part of an illness that doctor doesn't understand, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-07-16
Drs. Kaser & Freeburger
Miss Albrecht

OSTEOPATH Swedish Massage, Medical Gym. nastics. Expert treatment given in all cases requiring massage, diet and mechanical therapeutics. Room 304, Lynda Hotel, Juneau
 PHONE 123
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Far From Well.

Little Johnnie Williams was CRYING
hard when he walked into school the
other morning, accompanied by his
mother,
"Toothache, suppose, Mrs. Will.
lams?' observed the master, as he
noticed the tears running down John.
MES cheeks
mo it amt toOthache," snapped
the lady, that's want food and yul-
gar fraction, that is. You ought to
be ashamed of yourself, that you do.
settIn a child such things to do Up
before . this mornln', the boy was,
tryin' TO find out before e add is
breaktus that, supposin e add forty.
nine apples and e give is Uncle
George two-seyenths, is Aunt Rachel
one-seventh. is brother Bob three
seventies and kept the rest ITSELF,
'ow many they'd each ave-
"Well?"
1T amt wei" continued the lady.
cos e tried TO do the sum with
marbles stead o apples. Uncle
Georges lot is in is right and, ana
'es got fourteen, Aunt Rachels is in
is lett-she's got seven, and es got
seven left for 'isself in lis coat pocket,
bue 'ow many brother Bob ad, 'eoyen;
only knows, cos Johnnie put them in
is mouth and they've got wedged in
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16

ttontinuCu from page H.
airy cniefs are attempting to rouse
.the waning war spirit OF the people
with appeals, according to information
rom Berlin today
General Ludendorff was quoted as
saying that Germany must fight un.
IL she eonquers.
Both Field Marshall lIindenburg and
Ludeudorft We're accredited with say.
ing that Germany must add colonies
20 assure raw material without which
there could he no industries, AIDE
luate to prosperity"
French Obtain New Wheat.
Paris. August IL The last Allied
advance saved the most important OF
the standing wheat harvest that had
been planted by the Germans on
French soil, except in the region OF
Ferre-en-Tardennois, it was Officially
announced today.
In that district the Germans adam
doned munitions in order to save the
wheat
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
c. @. & P. LOSES LAOD
PAVING SQUABBLE

The Chicago, Ottawa 4 Peoria Rail
way Company in a decision handed
down July %, by the Illinois State
Public Utilities Commission, was de-
MED permission to tear up its tracks
throrgh the main street of the vii
Iaso OF Ladd The decision was rem.
iered on rehearing Of a petition
! Med by the ilterulban officials and
confirms a previous ruling in the case.
The Utilities commission upon the
original hearing ruled that the service
must be maintained in Ladd and the
evidence at the second hearing in chi
caeo recently did not alter the opin.
ion
The squabble between the railroad
and the village grows out of the pro-
'osed paving of Main street and is
the third decision handed in favor of
he village, one before the Supreme
Court and the other two before The
Utilities Commss
When the assessment roll for the
paving was filed last fall the c. O.
4 P railroad filed objections in the
county court ana when the objections
We're oyerruled appealed to the Su,
preme court which court affirmed the
decision Of Judge Fricharj
The railroad company also applied
to the Public Utilities Commission for
permission to withdraw their tracks
from Ladd decision in the case was
handed down by the commission last
January denying the petition of the
railway company, and instructing
them to rebuild their tracks and have
them in safe condition by the first
Of June
The G. Q & p then applied for
rehearing, which was granted but the
result was favorable to the village.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Might Be Better.

Into the office of country editor
can't a bluff old farmer with his Is.
year-old son.
I've come for a little information,
sir he said hopefully.
Il shall be delighted to do what |
can for YOU was the polite reply.
Well, this son otxnlne wants to 20
into the literary business, and |
thought you would be able to tell us
II there was any money in it. Its
good line isn't it?'
"le-e.es, replied the editor,
hestatingly. i've been at it myself
for good many years, and"
The farmer thereupon looked a
round at The shabby office, and then
at the shabbier editor.
Come on, Willie" he ordered
Back to your blowing, my lad"
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
H. c. OF DYING is
LATEST BUGABOO
FACING ILLlNOISANS

The longer you put Oft dying the
more lis going to cost This is on
the dead level Il comes from the
undertakers themselves
Members of the State Undertakers'
association az the end of their three
days session IN Alton recently. de.
clared their business mas not escaped
the common infection Of increased
costs. You may not have noticed It.
out all the time the scale OF prices is
moving upward at rate of speed
that might be alarming if it We're not
FOR the fact that you are so engrossed
in the fascinating game of living.
The war OF course. caused coffin
prices to shoot upward. The shooting
process is going on az the rate Of 81
month a cashet. dating from last
January /. This rate of increase is
fixed by the government and the
added cost viii continue to pile IN
at The rate of 100 cents a month dur
ing the period OF the war. DYING
prices may yet become prohibitive
depending largely upon how long the
war lasts
Then there's the other item of EN-.
balming ana hears6 hire Fluid used
increased. by leaps and bounds in
price. The process in Alton costs
SIS, whereas it formerly was $40. The
last ride in an auto hearse is even
a more expensive luxury than riding
IN the police patrol or on a railroad
'tnce the new rates went into effect.
II is expensive business, this living.
but 1t is just as expensive, this dying.
And between the two choices the av,
erage individual is satisfied with the
former.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
City and Vicinity
News

Miss Harriet Vittum, of Chicago
is spending 4 few days at the home
OF Mr. and Mrs. c. Vittum, in East
| Ottawa
Mrs Lester H. StraWn went to Chi
cagO TO join her husband who has
been taking lake trip and from Chl
cagO Mr. and Mrs Strawn will go 10
Camp Grant. Rockford, to visit with
their son. Capt. Taylor Strawn.
Vernon Bruck OF Utica was an o..
tawa visitor last evening.
Miss Louise DOud OF Chicago is
visiting her father f. H. Doud, IA
the Clifton hotel
{. Il. Chapman has returned home
after business visit to Dixon
julien Beach OF DAYTON was an OF
tawa visitor last evening.
Dr and Mrs. S. {. Wood of La
Sale are the proud parents OF fine
baby son born last evening. Mr..
Wood was formerly Miss Norma Ola l.
felter, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. +
+. Gladieter Of this city.
Misses Pauline and Marie Dilman
of Joliet arrived in Ottawa this morn
ing for visit with their aunt, sMrs
j. NJ. Mekeel, Oh Ottawa avenue.
Misses Gertrude and Marguerite
Schultz Of La Sale were Ottawa Wis.
itors today.
Mr. and Mrs Nels FINLAND and sons
motored to the Great Lakes Naval
Training Station yesterday.
Misses Bertha and Minnie Vogle
of Mendoza are visiting Mrs w. K
Foster on Guthrie street.
Miss Julia STACK of PocatellG Ida.
is visiting at the home of Mr.. and
MIS-. NJ. j Flanagan in this city.
Miss Sophia Jobst has gone to
South Bend and Michigan tor a visit
with relatives
Mrs. August Sunkel returned to her
home in st Louis yesterday after
visit with her daughter Mrs. c. W.
Steward in this ci,y.
Miss Lena Kelly of nanvile, H.. is
visiting her sister Mrs. W. f. Raetz,
79i Pearl street
Lieut.. Leo Strohmeycr is spending
a short furlough with his mother, Mrs.
Henry Suohmeyer. l26 Center street.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
The Job Was His.

Poor old Bill was a tfrst-r.te wood.
worker, but Old age crept upon him
and consequently uner oloyr'e. One
day he applied for a Job at big
establishment, and vas interviewed
W the oyerscer, no was well known
for his caustic utterances.
Ven, what do you want"
81 want work. repi>i the applt
cant
HIM And what kind of work can
you do?'
well, sir | cal ! Ike all sorts Of
jo!ners' work"
Then walk right in and start {
once I've been trying for years to
make all sorts Of ioners work in this
place and if YOU can get any work ont
OF them the jobs yours!"
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16

It is said that Mr. Asquitf has only
once been known to laugh outright
when on a public platform. The record
making occasion was at a political
meeting in Scotland The former
premier was constantly being inter.
rupted, one Of the chief hecklers being
a farmer wearing large straw hat.
Suddenly from some one in the hall
came a very personal remark concern
ing Mr.. Asquith
"Who said that" he demanded
quickly.
There WAS sudden silence. Then a
man in the audience stood up. and.
pointing to the farmer with the straw
hat, shouted
1T was him wi the coos breakfast
on his head"
The reply was altogether too much
for MI Asquith and he had to Join in
the general roar of laughter.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
PERU MAN LEAVES
WIDOW AS ONLY KIN,
ESTATES PROBATED
DISTANT RELATIVES or GEORGE
KERN CAN CLAIM PART OF
PROPERTY AS HE FAILED TIC
DRAW UP WILL.

TWO estates-one from Peru an.
the other from Marseilles-were al
mitted to probate by Judge Gregg late
yesterday in the probate court. Clos
ing up a busy days work the judg
passed upon petitions for letters O.
administration il the estates of Geo.
Kern and Mrs Mary c. Young. tn,
latter a well known Marseilles VOL,
an who died May lG.
George Kern, who passed away II.
The Peru hospital July q, 1918, die,
leaving surviving him no one of kiln
or Kin save his widow His proper 4,
is valued at Sl2,7O0- $4,000 of which
is IN a house and lot in Peru. and
s'''oo IN personal. The persona
property under Illinois law will 2
exclusively to the widow, while dis
tant relatives il there are any. vii
be entitled to a share in the rel.
estate
Mrs. Young lett a, house and sx
lots IN Marseilles, the entire estate
being worth about $1,000. Her heirs
are three sons, II W Young, O. r
Young AMI NJ, S Young. all of whom
are sons, and Robert &. and Kenne. Il
foung, grandch ldren.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
CHASER REPORTS
SINKING U-BOAT

An Atlantic Port. Aug. 16-Nem
bers OF the crew Of a submarine chas
er came into port today highly elated
over what they believe was the de
struction of a German submarine
which has caused havoc among Bo,
ton and Gloucester fishing vessels
The chaser crew reported that they
had sighted the submarine late yes.
terday afternoon. Under fun speed
the chaser approached the sea viper.
which submerged. The chaser drop
ped three depth bombs The chaser's
crew believe she was sent to the bot.
tom.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
His Alarm Clock,

Senator Ollie James told Of Young
man in Louisville who not long since
hung up his Single as attorney at
law.
One afternoon friend, upon enter.
ing the office, observed upon the desk
of the new legal light dollar alarm
clock
That's a good idea" said the friend
One is very apt to oyersleep these
mornings"
The youthful attorney smiled sadly.
This alarm clock was not bought for
the reason you MENTION" said he. Il
merely keep II here to wake me when
it Is time to go home"
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Wasted Effort.

They were at dinner and the dain
ties were on the table.
"Will you take tart or pudding?'
asked papa of Tommy
Tart said Tommy, promptly.
His father sighed as be recalled the
many lessons on manners he had
given the boy
TART #hat?' he quered kindly.
But Tommy's eyes were glued on
the pastry.
Tart WHAT" asked the father
again, sharply this time.
Tart first" answered Tommy, tri-
umphantly.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Going to the Doctor.

An old man who looked like a for
eigner was walking along London
street playing a concertina that had
seen better days. Noticing a brass
plate with the words Doctor OF MI.
sic" written under the Iame on il. he
Went up to the house and rang the
bell. The door was answered by a
servant, who asked his business"
please" ne said, lis the doctor o.
music in?"
YES, what is Il you WANT" the
servant asked
why just pop IN ana him how
much he'll charge to mend my concor.
tina" was the reply
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
ne difference,

Science Is concerned with the names,
distances and magnitudes of the stars ;
and with problems touching the "in.
festival parasites Of the flea" Art, 1T.
erature and religion are concerned
only with mankind with the elemental,
the universal, the eternal; with the
dream, The defeat, the romance of life.
Dallas Lore Sharp, in Atlantic.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Oysters Killed by Poisoned waters,

rev months ago a phenomenon
known locally as "elturbIo,' appeared
in "A part Of the pearl.hshing grounds
near Margari1a island This consists
in decomposition or poisoning of the
waters, which brings about the death
or the oysters and the consequent de-
structlon Of the beds.
The immediate loss in pearls from
this disaster Is estimated al from g..
0WO0O TO 100000 boIivars ($579 900
to SI2,OoO). and Il was thought best
to prohibit fishing in the infected dis
trlct.-Commerce Reports.
Try the Free TraderJournal Want Ads
for results.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
OTTAWA BOY
GIVES HIS LIFE
Continued from page H.

ing many hours porting over scieutii.
books. During his entire life he va.
a member of the Episcopal church
and always took a leading and az
tive part in the work OF that mstitu
! tion.
Upon first entering the service h,
was stationed al Port Royal. Va. an
/ in September returned TO Ottawa toI
1 Through Of one week. after which
he went to Camp Quantico. Va, anc
sailed from there the middle of DC
tober, arriving in France on Noyem
/ Der II. He was one OF the frs,
OF the marines 20 arrive over there
He was one OF the first OF The
American soldiers to be in action an
was a member of the company OF ma
rlnes that held Chateau Thierry, TAX
ing part in one Of the greatest bat
ties ever fought during the present
war, and gaining one of the most de
cisive victories for the allies.
The parents OF the boy while over
come with their sorrow at their SON,
loss, are justifably very proud of him
and are bearing up bravely under
this blow.
Eugene Barker, grandfather OF the
hoy. IN speaking to representative
OF the Free Trader-Journal this morn.
ing said. We are very proud of
our boy. He did his duty and did it
well. He was one OF the first Amer
lean boys to arrive over there, and
had been in action since the Tirst. He
took part in The stand that saved
Chateau Thierry at a time when men
were sorely needed He helped win
one OF our most victorious battles OF
the war. His mother is very weak
from the shock, but is bearing up
brayely, and his father is suffering
terribly but is also bearing up well.
In spite OF all of our great grief, we
are very proud Of our boy"
Return Body After War.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hoxie were able to
gather some consolation from the tel
egram from the war department, re
ceiyed last evening which informe
them the body OF their son would be
returned to them after the war. The
message read in full
Washington, Aug. II.
Mr. J. b. Hoxie:
Deeply regret 70 inform you. cable
gram from abroad states that Private
Guy Delamater HaXie, Marine Corps
was killed in action on July 10. Body
will he Inferred in France until the
end Of war Please accept my heart,
felt sympathy in Your great loss.
Major General Commandant
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
YOUTH IS KILLED
IN CHICAGO ELEVATOR

Chicago, Aug l6 -- Coroner Peter
II. Hoffman is to open an inquiry into
the death of Phillip b. Thompson. ~
OF Kansas City, who was killed while
boarding moving elevator in the
Hotel Atlanta here yesterday.
me car was operated by Miss
Laura klnsor, a war worker and
thompson death is the first "casu.
atty with which a war woman" has
been connected.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
lhinkIn1 OF Il.

The Rev. James Hamilton minister,
OF Liverpool, while on holiday in
Scotland, had narrow escape from
drowning, Accompanied by boy,
Mr.. Hamilton was fishing for a trout
balance and, Wing incumbereds with
heavy wading boots, had great din.
Guilty in keeping his head above wat
er. Finally he managed to get back
TO the shore, although in a very ex-
hausted state, and said to the boy:
Il noticed that you never tried to
help me-"
Ma was the deliberate response,
but l was thinkin' OF"
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
BRAZIL SHIP SUNK
IN AMERICAN WATERS

An Atlantic Port. August lt The
friziltan motorship Madgrade was
torpedoed and sunk without warning
somewhere off the Atlantic coast yes.
tarday, according to - survivors who
reached here this noon. There was
10 loss OF hte
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
THIRTEEN ESCAPE
FROM COUNTY JAIL

Chicago, Aug 16.-That thirteen
prisoners including some being het'
by the federal authorities escaped
from the Bridewell after beating two
guards into Inconsistencies Wednes
day night became known today when
the states attorneys office planned TO
open inquiry The men fled in auto
mobiles which were waiting for them.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Maccabees Notice.

The Maccabees of Ottawa, Tent
No. 27o, of this city, wish to thank the
owners of automobiles who so kindly
gave us their services and aut0mo-
b'le3 to take our visiting delegates to
Starved Rock.
CHAS. DUCkETT.
Chair of Com.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16

NOTICE

The lee Cream Social at Illinois
Avenue church postponed till Monday
night. 1t it rains Monday night it
will be held In basement of church.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
CHANGING Color OF Elowers

Many pink flowers may be- turned
blue by exposing them Ia the fumes of
ammonia for few minutes. and blue
flowers become pink when exposed to
acids.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16

more seriously Is hat he must pre-.
pare to meet the greatest demands
his country may make upon him He
Is the soul Of patriotism.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
Plenty Of Room TO arn.u

Australia, which is ~ times larger
than the whole of the British Isles
mas population not exceeding that OF
London.
Free trader-journal. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1916-1920, 1918-08-16
SOCIETY NOTES

g y 9
The members OF the Utopia club al
the Epworth Methodist church VIII
be entertained this evening AZ he
home Of Mrs. Frank McEwine. ON the
Bloomington road The evening will
be spent n working Tor the soldiers.
All members OF tho organization are
urged TO attend
Mrs. George Dietrich entertained
with an Informal bridge party yester.
day afternoon al her home. 1885 OF.
tawa avenue, in honor of Miss Alicia
Graham, whose marriage to Felix
Guignon, takes place in the near fu.
ture. Two tables OF bridge were filled
and late in the afternoon light refresh.
ments We're served
g g g
Mrs. 7 T. Walsh entertained with
a surprise party in honor of her son.
James Walsh, who celebrated his
seventeenth birthday yesterday. last
evening on the Hoffman lawn on
North La Sale street. Twenty Young
people were present and spent very
pleasant evening with music. dancing
and games Light refreshments we're
served at late hour after which the
party broke up.
% {, q
Twenty ladies from st Francis
parish met yesterday with Mrs. J. l..
LEX al the National Hotter. for an all
day Red Cross meeting The day was
spent in working an the refugee far.
ments, and an excellent picnic lunch.
con was served at noon. The ladies
VIII meet on next Thursday at the
home of Mrs. Louis Wilcox. l12 W.
Jefferson street.