Mansfield mirror. (Mansfield, Wright County, Mo.) 1908-1957, 1918-10-24
The Clown Prince Writes

faN.-". -
The Clown Prince Writes
That the German crown prince
is very much shocked at the I'M
cultured condition and lack oil
propriety of the American sold
iers now working pretty closely
In the rear of his army is eviden.
ced by this letter, which was
written by his royal highness to
his august pap just after he had
to skedaddle across the linden
burg line a few weeks ago.
While the crown prince was
writing in his tent fixed up on
the safe side of a hill far away
from the scene of activities, his
aide came dashing up and infor.
med him that those dasted
Americans were after him again,
that it so frustrated the prince
that he forgot his letter in his
haste to avoie the uncouth Amer
leans and rushed away as fast as
his charger would carry him. An
irreverent American picked up
the sheet when the allied army
came and occupied the ground
where the Germans had been,
and a copy has been sent to the
Mirror, which publishes it here.
with:
Dear Papa: l am writing on
der run as der brave and glori.
Gus soldiers under my command
have not seen der Rhine for so
long dat dey have started back
dat way and of course | I'M nit
dem. Oh, pap, dere has been
some offel dings happened here
in France. First, | started in my
big offensive, which was to crush
der fool Americans, but dey
know so little about military tao.
tics dat dey will not be crushed
just like l want dem. l sent my
men in der fig in big waves and
ven dey got to der Americans
dey all said boo" as loud as dey
could holler. Veil, according to
vat you have always told me, der
Americans should hafe turned
and run like blazes. But vat you
tink? Dem fool Americans don't
know anything about war, and
instead OF running der odder
way, dey come right toward US.
Some Of dem vas singing some.
thing about We Won't Come
Back Till It's Over, Over Dere,"
or some odder foolish song and
of dem yer latfing like fools.
Dey are so ignorant. Butdey are
NIT dere guns, and ven
come towards US it vas dat
my men took'a notion dey wanted
to 90 back to der dear old Rhine.
We don't like der little old dirty
Marine river, anyhow, And oh,
pap, dem Americans use such
offel language. Dey know moth.
ing of %Kultur, and say such offel
things right before u.s.. And dey
talk blasphemy, too. Vat you
tink dey said right in front of my
face? One big husky from a place
dey call Mansfield, he said-oh,
papa, ! hate, i hate to tell YOU
vat an offel ting he said-but /
help it; he said-"To hell
nit der ~kaiser!" Did you. ever
hear anything so offelp I didn't
tink anybody would say such a
offel ting. 1t made me so mad l
stand and hear such q
offel ting so I turned round nit
de odder boys. Vas I right Votp
And, oh, papa, you know dem
breast plates vat you send us
can you send some to put on our
backs? You know We are going
der odder way now and breast
are no good, for der COW.
Americans are shooting US
in der back. Some of our
boys took off der breast plates
and put EN- behind, but der fool
Americans are playing Der
Star Spangled Banner nit ma.
chine guns on dem plates. Can't
you help us?
You remember in your speech
you said nothing you'd stand be-.
fore the brave German soldiers?
Oh, papa, l don't believe desc ig.
n~orantAmericans ever read your
speech, for dey run after US just
like We vas q lot of rabbits. Vot