The weekly Alaska citizen., 1918-03-04

mittee on Public Information:
 Clean, unadulterated nonsense can always get laugh from me. love it and so do most Americans. re- member one bit of Weber and Fields seriously acted nonsense that always left me gasping for breath. It was the silliest, most inconsequential bit of acting that genius ever dared to put in show that cost the spectator $2 a seat. It was a prize fight be- tween Weber and Fields, and one of those matchless comedians showed the other how to do it. They put up their money and put on the gloves, and immediately the rank amateur began to batter the wise one over the head. but that was not the way to do it. The wise one explained that that was not at all the proper way to do it. He explained that he would show the poor amateur the right way He stood the poor anna teur just where he wanted him, turn ed his face at the proper angle and then arranged his hands. He stepped off and considered the poor amateur but he did not feel just satisfied. He arranged the hands again, placing them down at the sides of the poor amateurs legs. Then he told him to keep them there. Then he stepped up quickly and hit the poor amateur whale of blow in the face and knocked him clear across the stage and into the wings. It was awfully funny; everyone in the house scream ed with joy. The poor amateur was such fine example of simple minded. confiding idiocy!
 Parallel in Some Americans.
 have to laugh in the same uncon. trolled way when I see the confiding manner in which some Americans are letting the willy but treacherous German peace propogandists convince them that we ought to let our hands hang at our sides, turn our faces at the right angle, and stand in idiotic pose until we get the blow in thu face that will knock us into thd wings. For pure, unadulterated non. sense the act being staged by the wise German agents and the simple minded peace lovers is enough to make anyone sick with laughing.
 On the one hand is a Germany in arms, with millions of veteran sol diers and an armament such as no man dreamed of ten years ago, and. on the other hand, our simple minded peace lovers would have us pose as the poor amateur: Stand here, turn your head this way, put your hands down at your sides," say the Ger man agents, and the purchased or infatuated peace propogandists echo, Stand here, turn your head this way, put your hands down at your sides 7 A fine future for the great American nose if we did it!
 Germany "AII Dressed Up."
 If America keeps her hands down, she will be knocked not only into the wings but off the stage and off the earth. With America out of the war, the best thing that can be hoped is a drawn battle, ending with hands off" peace, and leaving Germany, as the saying is, "all dressed up and nowhere to gO." Germany's "all dressed up" will mean a Germany dressed in hardened, veteran armies, in trained commanders, in the finest possible military equipment, and with an untouched navy, vast air force, and no one knows how many submarines. The nowhere to go" will mean Africa and Asia, where Germany wanted to gain dominions. But there will be one place where Germany, "all dressed up." can go. She can come to America. She can come to South America first, or to Mexico, and that is where she will come and where she has planned to come.
 What happens when German agents even partially convince goodly num- Der of persons that the right way is to turn the cheek and hold the hands down can be seen in Russia. Russia is not a well-trained actor. She would never get job playing Weber-Fields burlesque in g thea tre. She will not keep her hands when the German agents tell her to put them down, but she has lowered them once or twice. Russia is far, far from happy.
 | Russia AS An Example.
 I can not believe that any sane person not in German pay can wish the United States to become as Rus sia is today, but that is exactly what will happen if we listen to the Ger man agents and put our hands down now. Let me put it most simply. The great body of Americans believe today. as they should, that our con- tinued existence depends on our mili- tary preparation. A small, noxious