Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-05-05
DOPEY DAN AND LON.
The H0henzOller,1S.

Dear Folks: It didn't take Lon Ions
70 get wise to tn new wrinkle OF
grsntin' tn audience tn privilege o
Askin' . few questions after tn regular
spleschmakin's over, that's bein' fea-
tueed today by most all top-notch
snesksrs. TIL other night over to tn
CaaufHeurs' Club tn kid had hardly got
tAtough with a turrible TRADE agin' TIL
kaiser. an had tossed out tn hint that
he was itchin' to be quiz1ed, when q III
ntEht-liner chauffeur hoped up in his
seat an wanted to know II tn Hohen-
xollsrn family had always ruled Ger
many.
NAV. they amt always ruled Ger
many" beloved back Lon in a voice
full o rage. AN tha's TIL part what
nearly drives me delirious every time l
hears of this present short-armed
rooster CROWN about bein' elected by
tn Power above. This Hohenzollern
bunch is practically noovo-rich when 1t
comes down to tn rule game. an %h fae
TIL family was pretty well knowed 1or
\ long time in Germany. they ruby
wasn't never featured very much un,
til along about a century ago! IN
Arst cuckoo In tn flock to be found In
tn dope book was one Count Thassiio.
. Brsndenburg pfccolo player. who per-
formed in 2 orchestra about 900 A.p.,
which amt such a much, as there De
folks down in Alexandria, Va. TO-DAY
who can trace back that far. This
Thassiio party musta been bum
'tooter' cause there amt no more men.
tion Of tn family until tn end O tn
Thirteenth century, when tn neWspa-
peYs o. that period was beginnin' to be
| full o. them. an OWN to some turrible
clever slisht-o' hand work in 1898 they
managed to wiggie tn title o Prince
outa old Emperor Charles ", who, ac-
cordin' to records. wasn't all there
Frederick v was tn first HohenZollern
baby to sport tn new title. an if his
tory's correct, TIL cocky manner in
which he used to strut around every
afternoon wasn't nothin' more'n less
than perfectly Ridiculous.
Like all newly honored 'caterpil-
lars however, tn Hohenzollern family
At amongst themselves until they split
clean In two, one section bein' knowed
thereafter as tn Frankish branch.
while tn other had all it's groceries an
provisions sent c. o. D. to tn Swabian
portion of tn family. But one Satur-
day night. after a red-hot hat-house
dght. tn entire estate fell into tn
hands o Frederick VI. knowed far an
wide as Freddy The-Bear-Cat, who in
1915 received from Emperor Sigismund
tn Lord only knows where he come
frou-th' electorate O. Brandenburg,
an thereafter had tn gall to call him
self such. Frederick /.
This birds eleventh successor. Fred
erick III, become tn first King O.
Prussia as Frederick in 1T01-there's a
turrible mess O. Freds in this story. but
nevertheless it's dead on tn level. an tn
reason for them switchin' their numbers
20 often was evidently due TO tn old
moth-eaten system O gettin' more credit.
while all this was takin' place TIL
SWsbian branch o. tn family, which
musta eat with their knifes. as no
mention Is made Of them until tn be-
gtnnin' O. tn 18th century. was no
doubt havin' q tough road TO hoe. But
along about 1865 both branches kissed
an made up once more. an agreed
upon a common law O. succession.
which was afterwards O. KID by the
King O. Prussia as head of tn house.
TIL treaty established among them
tn right o primogeniture-which in
plain United States means tn first
kid to make = noise in tn fiat after
marriaEe-an' provided that in case
one o. tn branches should be shy
male successor. tn estate should be
Transferred to tn other branch. an in
case both branches should become ex-
tinct in tn male an female lines tn
estate should then fall back TO tn
royal house O. Prussia. In short it was
simply tn old army game from start
to finish with nobody havin' a peep
who wasn't a Hohenzollern.
"Twas dollars to homemade crul-