East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1918-10-10

Imagine my surprise that on the very next
aav after this advertisement appeared. re-
eeived a most astonishing postcard from the
Kaiser on one side was the picture Of Presi-
seps woodrow Wilson. dressed like the gem
tlenan he is, and on the other side picture
OF wilhelm as MephistoDheies-which he Is
ON the off side were the words. Divided
FALL on the near side we're typed In his
oV,n vvfthered handwriting. these words
..Dear Doc:-weleome to our city. Wishing
YOU a prosperous good year for 1911. See you
s.ars WILHELM /. r."
The wear being half over. the receipt Of this
card seeme1 somewhat peenliar- learned
49, shat Fs,u always signed himself as Il
a.. Although Il Am Is much more gram
~,atteal ~ are sounds more plural. as IL
sruthfuI on the following Tuesday who
should show up at my temporary office but
William the Used-to-Be- He made his en-
trance through a trapdoor- Ihe "ostachs
came later by wireless.
ITa wore the half fun regalia Of a rank
,,,jsorr,es Knight OF Pythias and had medals
seped down his trouser legs Ike the pearl
f,stfo0s which adorn the pantaloons OF q
r,rosnerous costermonger. Seeing that had
4 small crystal American flag In the left top
fnttonhole Of my coat and Moose charm on
NV right breast made him seem extremely
r-~tone 10 start a conversation with me.
I.xpeeforating plentifully on my new PERSIAN
rug and Hopping into my operating ehalr
aath a dull. siekening thnd' ne said
.,Davids. what is the matter with your
Z Naturaily, using both my hands a mega
pnone / shouted. shes all right"
why Is 1t that you Americans are 80 nn-
aair 70 Germany he yelled
told him that the corn: bunion and In
Cincinnau that Il had been impossible for
me- 20 get TO Berlin before
Z .-Davids. you surprise met he interrupted.
x4slng from the red plush chair. walking
foward me- throwing back his shoulders.
knocking his heels together. saluting with
~ right hand and winking with his left eye.
eYour country ls acting from purely mer-
cenary motives"
T.srhere you are wrong Bill" explained.
s.Afv charges don't average more than thirty
e.nta a corn In our American money, and as
~ buuions and ingrowing toenaiis defy any
1erman 10 do a. good work as do for double
the money"
N.No such q burned thing!" ! insisted.
ssyaft fiii you settle with me and you'il know
sitter. Take off your socks and let me see
tls,s eyss flashed fire. from which liz my
rape. as ne advanced toward me and ineisive-
~ declared;-
H-'Do YOU suppose that HohsnaOllern would
Sower his footing 10 remove his socks in the
psesenca Of a damned Yankee7'
y explained that would turn my back and
hold my nose while he was getting ready.
.'You have no right 70 shoot my people" he
/. ~ don't shoot 'sm-I cut 'em After op-
crate your eorns viii never shoot again as
narry 1p. MAJ" tths pet name given the
Kaiser BY his hired help and pronounced
'1sadge." beinw sh0rs for "dAJesty'l. "as
have 3 chance 70 sell out my practice 70
Eay IN HumbaG. who wants twelve year
leaee ana other responsibilities"
~ this time ! had his unsoeked left foot
81 my hand and began feeling around
acrapad tbs skin thoroughly. filled a basin
fuu of Gioan's liniment diluted with a pint
- eaustio, requested him 20 insert both hts
Gast therein and keep them there for thirty
Ininutes while ! went out 70 get a glass 0f
iaEeF and q frankfuFter.
sFhea woke uD n the hospital next morn
tpE it NAs beautiful day and sYeFy one
seemed lh ppy-exespt myseii
CHATTER II.
j hadsrins bsyonst wounds In my back. my
throat SEas filied with poison gas. ten bullets
we've niHying "neTen up In my intestinea.
hofh eyes were closed and my scalp he'd been
sndyeig rsmoyed from its proper habiiati0n,
~ nuFxlFsaad 20 learn that I sent for a Kom-
uinndanfur and Inquired. "WheTe am ~" You
assf .s,sy ssss a'ss he sl9sys st 1shts q k5o@
~ beannBA 80 does woman afteF shs
"a -, q whistle. ans Who should enter
~. - but ths original ana oaly sAfai."
ililsss4 lIs vas aFFAyed IN the uniform of
doail,ie iAroaned Ted hot nurse. With q hunHFy
~ n Pss s1s's ss 80 ,,s shs Ssss. ,,iIsI M hss'
NP1Al cas- % for y0a. paEiasF' be
-rKsssass't very mssh rnOrs yOu souia d."
ile ,rlsnsd ans bagan reading isttag fsom
c.Ill1f s.on Malska. "A maid anuounoed that
~ n - faaiafa. fha MaassT's paiAas at Psts-
s.is ..l.,s N 80 iSasssiatslyF. ahs sarnsed
...nl.III II rIIaanlfd ia vii EFuah ths in-
IiIsaaelk epd n.ay Nsnt 70 nss u ~ any
re = iaeaietsd ~ hssis plaess ths nFgt
1iIlfrF n - lnff hanf aE1iHEf ne leff SO
"A iIas1I| A. aff aaid. s-fours enf-
ta9 pa es1isA ne te-eagf' hA-s4 -
'Isj sa.rll s,5ssa,