South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-03-24

CLUBS Wen, MlshaWaka can peat
that all TO pieces.
You may cheat man and get
by with it now and then. but YOU
can't cheat your COW and profit by
il.
For the next two months every
lazy. good -for-nothing old home
hugger in pants, who plants a two
foot row Of radishes will be swear
ing he has solved the food problem
and has the kaiser pinned TO the
mat with a scissors. arm lock and
half Nelson. whatever this rassling
lingo means.
His eminence, the venera BILE Car
dinal Logue OF ireland, must be all
wrong in his estimation Of the Sim
Feiners, lie lives among them but
doesn't know a darned thing of the
pure and beautiful" sentiments
that inspire their souls, This, ac-
cOrding 10 a speaker at the ST. Pat
rick's day banquet at South Bend
last week, who described the NUTS
as representing the best in IRISH ira
dition-"men OF vision and of love-"
We wonder why so many of them
are getting hanged. and if it was
this spirit of love that prompted
them TO attack the American SOL
diers on several occasions during
their visits to the Emeral isle?
1t is said Ned Green's income tax
this year will be $3,26O,OOO, leaving
him only $1.74O.OOO to live on for
"A year. But the worst of it is Uncle
Sam is getting ready to pinch Ned
for about 80 percent next year. up
on the hypothesis that a gentleman
living economically can make both
ends meet on 100000 a year.
There is nothing in the fate OF
Russia to prove that such treachery
as Lenine and Trotzky practiced is
profitable to the deluded people who
stand for it.
Personally, we believe the babies
being born this year are going TO
get a better chance i'm life than the
pampered. spoiled. ease-loving, in
dOIent, mOney-ruined, ambitionless.
goddess. overdressed, immodest,
work-hating boys and girls who in
the worlds greatest crisis find them
selves helpless to take a hand
Rep. Mccormick says this year is
likely to prove barren of military re-
suits of value to the allies. The con-
gresham is a republican. and with
him, no doubt. the wish is father to
the thought.
G.. A Maurer has developed the
automobile speed mania. Since he
acquired his caravan the residents
of Edgewater DIR. and z. Lincoln
way are afraid to venture out Of
their hOsnes when ne is at large,
and the children are locked in their
rooms until such times as the cam
vas back contrivance is back in it's
stable. Even the street cars come to
a dead stop in the middle of a
block when they see the cyclone
from afar. We trust the rejuvenat-
ed police department will make a
note Of this and not allow this law
breaker to escape just punishment
even If he is the republican form of
government in Mishawaka. 1t may
be. of course, that the caravan car
ries so much sail that il is impOs-
sible to control. In that case there
would be extenuating circumstances.
The colonel has a right TO be
proud of his four boys. They do him
honor. We trust they will serve with
great distinction. and make the
colonel prouder still. And may their
broods continue to increase and
make the colonel the champion OF
the grandfathers' club.
Still. when Billy Sunday pays his
visit 10 the American trenches in
France. we hope he will take a set
of guns along so that he can keep
his trigger finger busy while he is
NoCutIdllus
When the end comes American
troops VIII be holding 100 miles OF
trenches Otherwise. there will be
spear helmeted scoundrels i'm this
country collecting so percent OF
every mans wages or salary for 40
years TO come.
You can't curb the intolerant spir-
/ il at all. Even after YOU have yield
ed 20 its views on religion and pol
tiles. and fail TO agree with il about
the conduct of the war il will pill
lory YOU as a traitor and demand
your immediate execution.
Z The government does not exempt
man who supports his mother-in-
law. for the reason. We suppose. that
man who lives with his mother-in-
I law is too experienced a fighter Ia
warrant the government in dispens-
/ ing with his services.
Russia affords the most tragic ex-
lample OF all history OF democracy
turning fool at the wrong time.
Our innate modesty has in the