davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
Daily Novelette,
THE PENETRATION OF SIR
LIONEL PUNKAPEW.
CIR LIONEL PUNKAPEw. the great


CIR LIONEL PUNKAPEW. the great
y London specialist. stood lost in
thought. An about him stood other
specialists and medical men. only a
shade less eminent, trying TO follow
his train Of thought, but failing-for
he said nothing The others knew he
was thinking. however. for upon his
brow was stamped the image Of a
lofty purpose. and at frequent inter
walls he cleared his throat and re-
marked profoundly
HUM"
It was for no idle purpose that
getner watching the mighty efforts
with which Sir Lionel was engaged in
thinking. Nothing less than the i'll
ness Of the beautiful Lady Ermiu-
garde Spanners. ninth daughter Of
the 18th duke Of Blitchet. had called
them into consultation. One by one
they had failed to discover the mys-
FERROUS malady which affected the
Lady Ermingarde, doubling her right
ankle into the exact semblance Of her
left One by one they had dropped
into discouraged silence. and now Sir
Lionel alone refused to acknowledge
defeat
servant-carelessly. not caring what
he got He drew a fOotman.
Tell the Lady Ermingarde and the
duke TO step in for a moment" he
said, majestically.
As the two entered the room, Sir
Lionel turned TO the little group Of
fellow scientists who stood about him
Ny friends" he said, 4 viii now
unfold TO you the l1test steps in mod
ern science. Lady Ermingarde, kind
" relate the circumstances which led
to your unhappy deformity-
Choked with sobs, Lady Ermin-
garde replied:
Ny ankle was broken" she said.
''the day I rode 10 the hounds on
Lord Swithersby Jambly's hunter, In
sanity. DR.. Spluudersbury set 1t. and
almost Immediately it began to twist
out Of shape"
"Har" cried the eminent surgeon.
clapping his hands delghtedly, the
mystery is solved My friends, I will
now illustrate to you the extreme
futility of a left hnaded man trying
TO practice surgery. DR.. Splunders-
bury is left handed The ankle has
been purling instead of knitting and
will have to be reset"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
HOROSCOPE
Saturday, May 4. 19IS.

MERCURY is in benefic aspect early
w in the morning Of this day, but
later Uranus is adverse
1t should be a favorable rule under
which to enter into agreements or
contracts, as there is a lucky sway for
whatever is signed or written.
Newspapers and magazines have a
fortunate direction. which seems to
indicate. great business activity and
legislation tending to improve com
mereial conditions
This is a favorable government OF
the stars for personal publicity. which
VIII be more and more employed as
the year advances. Evidently there
VIII be much political propaganda put
forth.
There is a menacing sign for love
affairs today, the influences being
toward deceit and betrayal Many
scandals are prOgnOsticated-
Moral conditions viii show extremes
during the remainder Of the year, the
seers declare. Spiritual consciousness
VIII be Quickened, but strong opposite
tendency toward material things.
Uranus, the planet supposed to stir
mOrtals 10 act Of rebellion. gains
much power at this time and again
strikes and labor troubles are fore
Swallowed.
Warning is given Of hostile influ-
ences exerted not only among work
ers Of the white race but among the
colored population Of the United
States. which comes powerfully under
the sway Of Uranus, the awakener
that may bring about riots and reve-
lutions.
Grave danger Of infectious epidem-
les is progrOsticated for the summer.
The south should be especially care
ful about sanitation and protection
against the spread OF disease
Fame for American surgeons who
viii serve in their own country is
fOretold.
Religious agitation again is fore
Swallowed This will be manifested in
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
CARDUI A
SPLENDID TONIC
For Women, Says Hi1sOn Lady, Who
Took This Medicine On Her
Doctors Advice.

Hixson. Tenn.-Mrs. J. 3. Gadd. Of
this place. makes the following state
ment regarding her experience with
Cardui: 7 was. suffered with
a pain in my left side: could not
sleep at night for this pain-always
in the left side. Ny feet and legs
were terribly swollen. I was almost
in bed.
Ny doctor told me to use CarduL
took one bottle. which helped me. and
after my baby came I was stronger
and better. but the pain was still
there. at first let it go. but I be-
gan to get weak and in a rundown
condition. so I decided to try some
more Cardui. which I did The last
Cardui I took made me much better.
and. in fact. cured me. It has been a
number Of years. still have no return
OF this trouble. I feel it was Cardui
that cured me. and I recommend It as
a splendid female tonic"
II you feel weak. tired, WORKOUT, or
suffer fIom any Of the ailments pecu-
liar to women. try CarduL the wom-
ans tonic. It must be a good medl-
cine for women. for many thousands
have voluntarily told. just as Mrs.
Gadd did. OF the good it has done
them. Ask some lady friend who has
tried CarduL She viii tell you how
it helped her. Then get a bottle from
year nearest drugGist-Adv.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
When Man Gets Old Enough To Retire
From Business And Live 4 Life OfEaSe.

: AND KIDDING ourselves
AND AT the next table
THERE WAS a waiter
PULLING OFT a chair.
AND A little old man
ALL DOUBLED up.
WAS BEING led ia-
By Az attendant
AND H. e9ul! hardly walk.
AND WORE blue glasses
AND HIS attendant
HAD To hold him.
WHILE he got in the chair.
AND THE little old man
COULDN'T ORDER his dinner.
BECAUSE He couldn't see
AND THE waiter.
HAD TO read him the menu
AND TAKE his order.
AND AFTER he'd taken IT.
WE CALLED the waiter.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
California Syrup of Figs"
can't harm children and
they love it.

Mother! Your child isn't naturally
cross ana peevish- see If tongue is
coated. this is a sure sign the little
stomach. liver and bowels need
cleansing at once.
When listless. pale, feverish. full OF
cold. breath bud. throat sore. doesn't
eat sleep or act naturally. has stOm-
ach-ache. diarrhOea. remember. a gen
tie liver and bowel cleansing should
always be the first treatment given
Nothing equals California Syrup OF
Figs for children's ills; give a tea
spoonful. and in a few hours all the
foul waste, sour bile and fermenting
food which is clOgged in the bowels
passes cut OF the system, and you have
q well and playful child again. All
children love this harmless. delicious
fruit laxative" and IL never fails TO
effect d good inside" cleansing. Di-
rectiOus Tor babies, children Of all
ages and grown-ups are plainly on
the bottle.
Keep it handy in your home. A little
given today saves a sick child tomor-
row. but get the genuine. Ask your
druggist for a bottle OF California
syrup of Figs. then see that il is
made by the California Fig Syrup
Company. Adv.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03

England as well as in the United
States.
Persons whose birthday II is have
the augury Of an active and fortunate
year, but they should guard their con-
duct with the opposite sex
Children born on this day are like
" to be generous but rather ezra tic
in nature. They should be fairly sue
cessfuL-( Copyright, 1918, by the Nc
clure Newspaper Syndicate
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
Widow and Church
Drop German Names

Seattle, Wash, May 3.-Because a
German name was distasteful to her.
Mrs. Mary ]. Engler received permits
sion from the superior court here to
drop il and take the name Of her
first husband. and is now Mrs Mary l.
Parsons. Mrs Parsons is a widow
Engler having died in 1910. He was
born in Germany.
ST. Louis. No. May 3.-The word
German" has been stricken from the
name Of St Peters German Lutheran
church Of this city. The action was
the result Of a vote taken by the
board Of directors OF the church. Rev.
A. l. Bernthal has appealed 10 his
congregation TO purchase Liberty
bonds and announces the appoint
ment Of bond statesmen 10 push the
sale of bonds in the church
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
NEW GALOMEL IS
WHOLLY DELIGHTFUL

sealess calomeI may now be obtained
at almost any good drug store As q
liver-cIeanser and system purifier the
rev Calotabs are even more effective
than the old style calomel, yet there
IS not the slightest danger nausea
nor unpleasantness-
one CaIotab at bedtime. with a
swallow Of water. that's all Next
morning YOU awake feeling fine, with
a hearty appetite for breakfast Eat
what You please, fruits. acids OF any
thing. There is not the slightest dan
ger nor Interference with your work.
Calotabs are sold only in original,
sealed packages. price thlrty-five
cents. Your druggist VIII refund your
money IL YOU are not delighted-he
recommends them
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03

Memphis. Tenn. May s.-To deter
mine whether negroes were in Ten
nessee or Mississippi when they were
caught selling whisky. q survey Of
the state line. near Memphis. IS be-
ing made IL the negroes were in
Tennessee they viii be prosecuted i'm
the local courts; II in Mississippi they
VIII probably escape prosecution
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
Man Nailed in Store
When He Denies Debt

Martinsville, Ind, May 3.-When
constable Frank owen went TO Hall,
near here to enforce a judgment Of
Sass on H c. McMorris a druggist,
McAorris denied both debt and pos
session OF the store. IT is said. So
Owen just nailed up the door with
the proprietor on the inside and re-
turned TO this city
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03

1 WAS IN the dining room
OF THE hotel
AND I was sitting there.
WITH WILLIAM r. Winch
THE BOY story teller.
AND WITH Walter Williams.
THE HANDSOME ex COP
AND WE were saying
HOW FOOLISH it was.
FOR A man to wait
UNTIL HE was old
BEFORE QUITTING work
AND ENJOYING himself
AND WILL was saying.
HE WAS going to quit
on HIS ninetieth birthday.
AND FIND a nice little place.
WHERE HE could exercise
AND GROW things.
AND KEEP himself young.
AND WE were sitting there.
PLANTING peach trees
AND HEARTS Of lettuce.
AND SQUADS.
AND MINT juleps
AND GETTING sunburned-
AND GOING to bed early.
AND HAVING a dog.
AND A cat
AND A lot Of chickens
AND A COW.
AND A man to milk it
AND THICK cream
AND WE were eating.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
Wife Returns Alimony
Land in Remnrrinoe

Beneville. Ill. May 3.-lIr. and Mrs.
Theodore ste2pich entered into an
agreement when they were remarked
here recently by which AIRS. Steppich
agreed TO deed back to her husband
10 acres Of land in Monroe county
which SteDpich was forced to give
her as alimony when she divorced
him in 1911
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03
R4NK DROPS CERWAv WOMB.

Lincoln. Ill. Nay Even the word
German CRATES on the sensitive nerves
Of directors Of the German American
National bank here. 1t has been
sericken out by unanimous vote and
the bank will henceforth be known
as the American National bank.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1918-05-03


over the bone. and VIII stimulate the
supply Of blood 20 the roots OF the
hair
It would be a good plan to cut off
as much hair as you can. for a time
this improves the health Of the hair
wonderfully.
Worried-Tou sound as though you
were developing pyorrhea. and you
must be treated for IL at once. Go 20
the best dentist you can find and have
your teeth cleaned professionally,
and have your mouth treated.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
SCHANG'S SLUGGING LANDS
HIM BOSTON CLEANUP JOB
Snuglv EnsconCcd Between
Old Pals. Strunk and Nc
Innis, Now Regular Out
fielder Is FASTING the Pill

A FEW days back rcfercnc- was made
n to the matter Of clcan.un hittors
this season and comment was had rcla-
tive 70 III" Red SoX having a weak sister
in that very important role. IlohlitHcl
then occupying the job. was pointed 20
as lacking the needed punch for tho
hectic assignment, and II was intmatod
that there might he a change in moro
than one club i'm tho heavy Clouting part
before things were permanently settled.
And now who bobs w AT tho present
time, hitting in tho wallopinE assignment
for Barrow's fast-going CN-Ns but our
old dearest friend of the hlcachcrite next
10 Ping Brodie. Wally SchanE. Wally's
case has worried the Boston authorities
more than has that of Stuffy McInns
Stuffy had played short and was ia
milar with the style of play required
for tire hot cOrnering. but while Schaug
had played both third and outfield. he
hadn't tackled either with any serious
ness. He was more interested in JOSH
ing friends in the stands or kidding the
bleacheritcs while cutting up i'm these
assignments for G. Mack
Barrow. however. has been cnamored
of SchanCs hitting ability lie has been
determined TO find "A regular place for
him in the lineup where he could whale
the ball as a daily pastimc. When il
was seen that IIoblitzel was not to be
lost right away to tho war and when
Shean was obtained to plug up the gan
AZ SECOND, MCIuniS already having third
sewCd up, II was necessary to attempt to
make "A regular outfielder out Of tho
former receiver. In any event, IT was
figured that he would he worth more in
the outfield, and for the last few games
he has been on the job in left and doing
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
FIGHTERS MADE
GOOD UMPTRES
Sullivan. Corbett. Jeffries
and Others Excelled at
Arbitrating Games
JOHN J.. HAD A VOICE

In the o)dcn time t was a fad to
get the champion prize fighters TO um-
pirc ball games, notes tho Veteran OBJ
server in tho New York Mail, who says:
And SO it came that in their day
Sullivan, Jcffries. Corbctt, Mccoy, Nc
Govern and other famous puEilists often
appeared in tho professional ball parks
as umpires
Many funny stories arc told by old
baseball managers Of their queer cX-
perionces with prize fighters when um-
piring these games.
John l.. Sullivan was really one Of
the best umpires ! ever saw.
on balls and strikes he was simply
infanible, ana that believing voice Of
his was always heard In tho furthes,
corner Of the grounds.
And then, too, no player, big or lit
tie. ever gave John l.. an argument.
Jeffries was not nearly so good an
umpire as sullivan.
But he was by no means as bad as
some of the fellows I have seen draw
ing money from the big leagues.
The first game Jeftries over umpired
in was played at Paterson. y. j.. Just
after he had won the championship by
defeating Ftzsimmons.
Billy Brady was managing JCffrics at
this time. and Manager Barrow, Of the
Paterson club. talked with him before
.Ieffries went up against Fitzsimmons
for the battle i'm which Ne won the
worlds championship.
We'll. Jeff won. a. We all remcn-
ber. and his route To Paterson over the
electric was one triumphal procession
People we're coming home from church,
aud how they got next TO Jehries was
more than ! know, but they hadnt gone
Gar before a pretty girl came down the
aisle of the electric car and laid great
bir bunch of roses on Jeffries's lap
He blushed as though II looked as
II he were going TO burst ploCHl YES
sol Another girl waltZed up Win
hoy hanging onto her skirts.
"Mr, Jeffries." she said, Il want you
TO kiss my little brother
loft kissed the kid and Brady was so
ticl<led that he almost burst the put
tons off his vest.
The crowd that came out that day
was the biggest Of the season.
Jehries umplred quietly put pretty
well, A.. c,u,,tt ,,,,,-
pired at South Slue l",v' o." -,
81 Louis. not long after his victory
/ over Sullivan.
Two amateur teams were playing
and Corbett was the arbiter of the oc-
I Casion. -
II was on Sunday afternoon, and
when the gates were opened at noon
crowds came trooping into the IN,
closure. and they kept coming until
dusk. for Bill Brady, who was then
managing Corbett, ordered the teams
TO keep on playing and Coroett 10 keel
on umpiring just as long as the peoPi'
were paying their way in,
That was perhaps the biggest crowo
that ever saw a ball game in this coun'
try. ,. .l
And at that game alone Corbett anc
Brady pulled down a small fortune
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
McGILLVRAY DEFEATS
ROSS FOR lO0.YARD TITLE

San Francisco. April 29.-Perry Nc
Gillivray, Of the illinois Athletic club,
retained the American l00-yaTd indoor
swimming championship here yesterday
when he defeated a field of eight cOm-
petitors in IS 2-5 seconds in race
sanctioned by the Amateur Athletic
Union
Norman Ross. Of San Francisco. fin
ished FIVE feet behind McGlllivray
Clarence Lane, OF Honolulu. was third
and George Cunha, Of san Francisco
fourth
Miss Charlotte Boyle, of New York
city won the women's national 50-yard
championship with Miss Dorothy Burns
Of Los Angeles, second. and q aire Gal
time was 81 1-b seconds. and Miss Boyle
Won BY amargip Of only six inches
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
Notes Of The BowlerS
nil smedley. tossing The naples oyc

Bin Smedley, tossing the NAPLES oyer for
GST pins while rolling for the Crescent
squad Of the Philadelphia League. not only
won thu high honors for three gsmes' but but
man score for last sveek, when his scoring
was the feature Of tie total Of SaSa pins
rivals who were out for laurels and was
outrolled both for the two-Eame high score
and in 1ividual high score for ono game.
whnn Bobby Campbell, of the SwarthmorG
quintet, IN the Quaker city League, romped
over with the high mark for two games.
scoring 4Gs pins. having two scores of .3i
pins q game. Hartley rolling on the Cres-
ried away the high single score for the
week when he tossed them for a total OF
n57 pins, outroling Ryder, Of the Quaker
City League. by a mere three pins.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
SOLDIERS TO BE TAUGHT
SWIMMING AT L. S. CAMPS
Aquatic Skill Considered One Of Many
Requirements by the
Military

Washington, April 29.-swimming is
to be taught soldiers in the training
camps this summer as military re-
ouirement, according TO the plans OF the
war Department commission on train
ing camp activities which has charge
of camp athletics. -
Al Camp Devens, Mass, the soldiers
will use Hell pond for their swimming
instruction. A corps of engineers under
captain Richard F. Nelligan. canton
ment athletic officer is now getting the
pond into shape. and Captain Nelligan
is preparing TO instruct whole regiments
At a time in swimming,
Budd Goodwin. noted swimmer of the
New York Athletic Club, has mapped
out a comprehensive program Of instrue-
zion for the soldiers at Camp Travis
where he is division athletic director.
Rudd Goodwin. noted swimmer, OF the
AZ the men will be held. V. NJ c. A.
physlcal directors at the camp VIII iena
their assistance IN the work. similar
nroeran viii he followed out AZ the resi-
Of fho canlonmenta
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
FULTON SIGNS FOR $4,000
ROLE IN FIVE-REEL MOVIE
Aspiranl for Willard's Title Signs
Agreement With California


Ten thousand dollars has been added
to the Fred FultOn-M lie Collins fund,
says a report from Minneapolis.
The challenger for the title has signed
an agreement TO appear in a five el
moVi for that sum. The offer wgS made
BY a california moving-picture concern
The pictures viii be taken in cal for
MA when Fulton and Collins PT. i've there
On their tour, VIII ch take : them through
the country until June ], when Futon
expects TO start training Tor his battle
with Jess Willard.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
STlPlLATE BOND BUYING
FROM BOXING RECEIPTS

Milwaukee. wis. April % 90 The
Cream city Athletic club of Milwaukee
offered Benny Leonard and Charlie
White 60 per cent of the gross receipts
for ten-round contest at the Milwaukee
Auditorium, seating 5000 people Ten
per cent is to go to state and rest II
30 per cent to the club on the condition
that the boxers and club take all the
money i'm Liberty Bonds
If acceptable to the boxers the club
plans to stage the battle i'm May or June
As an extra attraction the club will
stage frankie IzzO and Young Zulu Kid
in a title match for the tlyweight cham
pionship. I2zo claims tine title.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29

his well-kuown bit i'm uobby fashion. lie
is only hitting at "a .i54 clip.
Wally 50 indicated Barrow's iudg-
ment that he has supplantod lloblt2"h
and thus is neatly cuCOuCCd in the hit
ting schedule between ms old pals, Amos
Strunk and Stutry McIuniS. This, by
the way, is quite n hcfty combination,
and it is moving smoothly, as the games
here showed. lncidentally SChang
seems to have cut his mustachc as we'll
as his clownish stunts and apparently
is taking both the game and himself
seriously at last
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
mo FIGHTS, GO TO WORK"
Judge Orders Pugilist to Pay
Alimony Despite Poverty Plea

Nav York. April 2s."Victor NoTap
a lightweight prizeaghter. can't find
enough fights to support his Wife He
pleaded before Supreme Court Justice
Greenbaum that alimony should be
small, because he is too poor to pay
much
Said Justice Greenbaum, in awarding
$40 a month allowance
eff the defendant cannot earn money
nriSsfgbtsrs there seems n he ne ras
son why his physical powers may not
properly be utilized at work in shops
doing Government work or in some
other branch Of Government service"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
WHITEMARSH GOLFERS
BUY $4,000 LOAN BONDS
Two and Fifty Members Parlicipale
in Drive at Golf
Dinner

The Whitem1rSh Valley Country Cluh
opened its golf season for the year on
saturday with a Tombstone tournament,
which was won by Frank y. DieroId
To hwundred and tifty m mhcr- Of t'e
club attended the dinner which fol.
lowed, and during the evening the meme
herS, subscribed $5l,0O in Lib.lty Loan
bonds
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-29
Bingles and Bungles

Yesterdays hero--Shprwood Nottingham I
laEee. The former pnil played trst basg
in pulling the first triple play Of the year
Thr only thing sherry didn't do was win
the game for the Reds
II was a tense moment at Shibe Park
during the twilight battle. ) couple of
hrst, but the ball rolled foul. ,StuGy Me
back to his position and shOutedi
,.If you beat out q bnnt I'm Eoi9S to
safe u. YOU, can get away with that stun,
Allot which showed that Stufy had little
ming, for the Gloucester boy thinks no more
Of his job than he does OF his right arm
iras pitching Jase6aUe. THIS lcCCk he is
pitching tcuts. Ant II tuunv ichat a dr.
The Athletic h,sye not been able to land
playing a joke on thcm
Now that Scott Pogy has paac GOOD t1c
What chance has n pitcher GOT irhcn a pair
Of clubs ikc that arc dohtno Jor hin.
Having been trimmed by National League
teams the bIayeS kent up their good work
pulled the prize bone Of the season when he
hit the boil = mile Gnd stood between sec-
c, ond any ~. T neIist rom nooI oT w"ter when
he resumed his journey. Bailey was thrown
out at the plate.
The Athletics and Yankees will minsle
today.
Early spring dope. makes. Moran's team
. the dark horse in the National II John
AfcGraw can pass this obstacle he will he
/ well set for challenge to the western
clubs. II he fails 20 pass in good form
! the race VIII narrow down to hard battle.
/ Christy Mdthclrson bClicrcg baseball Is
/ more iBipOTtdHt in the United states than
/ iI France. AHV one CdH ShOir en- hOtr IN
/ France, but the nation needs something else
Eddie Collins and ole Jackson gave the
/ Browns something to puzzle over when they
/ started ninth-'nnng rally that laid the
/ Browns low, . TO I.
] The Giants win atten'rt to st1rt another
| winning streak this afhynONn, but the nt-
teTnrt will he mPde this tine with the
/ PhilIleS on the defensive. Which Il some
thing else again.
Sherdell was raped for twelve hits by the
Reds, but won his game for the Cardinals
The Giants aud THditdns tcere The biz run
! makers last tCeek NCtr York scored thirtD-
/ MAC aud Cleveland tht"ty-str.