davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
French Labor shortsoe.

The lack OF labor has become more
acute In almost all the vital industries
OF France. There are many soldiers
of the old classes in the French army,
men 40 years Of age or more, whose
usefulness at the front Is question
open to debate. Agitation has been
going on since the time when American
participation In the war made the de-
mand for men less acute at the battle
front to relieve the old Poilus. Early
In 1917 the doubtful privilege of an
honorable discharge was granted TO
carefree fathers OF six or more chill
dren. The real problem before the
chamber Of deputies Is whether to take
up the question of the old classes In a
large spirit or whether to continue to
make slight concessions to the demands
of their constituents.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Dog Hair Wool Substitute.

The keeping OF dogs may be regard
ed ms n patriotic duty Instead OF a
wasieful luxury. II the dog be of the
long-haired species.
II has been demonstrated that an
exceptionally high-class wool can he
spun from the hair OF all breeds OF
long-haired dogs. Samples from
elbows. Pekingese. poodles. Bergers
d'Alsace and sheep dogs have been
submitted 10 wool experts, who are
emphatic In their commentator.
TO popularize the discovery and
turn II TO good account the British
Dogs Wool association has been
formed with the countess OF GosfOrd
as president and Lady Algernon Cor
don LeDnox as chairman. The dogs
wool. no far as the association can
control II, will be turned over to the
British Red Cross.
Meanwhile shOrt-haired dogs are dis
credited and In peril of destruction
unless II can be proven that they. too,
may be utilized TO help win the war,
otherwise than as camOufaged sausage
meat.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
EIah Wear on, nrIdae Piles.

John Shafer, Jr., deputy In the Office
of County Surveyor Frank Haycock OF
Hennepln county. New York snys that
Ash have butted and rubbed up against
the piles OF the bridge nj Orono, Lake
Mlnnetonka. until that aged edifice has
become weakened. necessitatng It's
closing.
Shnfer and Edward Terrell, another
deputy. we're sent out to Inspect the
span.
"Yes. SIR" said Shafer, "those fish
kept on buttlng up against that pier
until the wood was almost worn away.
In order 10 get there we had 10 pound
the water around the place 10 keep the
nnny things away until we could finish
our inspection.
"Why. those fish are so numerous nj
Mlnnetonka this year that they get
pushed through the narrow passage 20
swift that they simply wear out the
wood"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
curIou. Food supplies.

Needing the Puget sound call for
food from the deep, v''rlo regimen
of patriotic seals offered themselves
for slaughter In the Seu island. Bcr
ing sen. and large supply ~ their
meat was brought Down IN. January
by the United States steamship Roose-
welt, for scientific test OF lis food
value, Phil Norton writes In. I."slie's.
Officers OF the bureau Of fisheries and
new dish connoisseurs at Seattle sam.
pied the seal roast at sundry feasts.
II gave them grand and glorious feel.
ing, they said. II makes the stom-
ach feel slick and efiicient. II Ia bet
ter than the meat of'the buriy whale.
II is dark red In color. rich and Juicy.
stripped Of blubber. as good as hne
beef. In fact. The north Pacific Is full
OF them. Only three-yenr-old mn'ce
are slaughtered. Little pieces of pork
are cooked with the seal roast, 10 give
II favor.
The walrus, adorned with valuable
ivory tucks. also Is being m0bI''zeG
One Of these fat and bulky crea 'ures
would feed n whole troop of Sam, ,'es
mot so," sny Puget saunders: "we1
eat the wnlrus and send our beef
across"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
ONLY MADE MATTERS WORSE
Woman Might Better Have Refrained
From Attempt TO Relieve an
Embarrassing Situation.

The conversation In the lobby of q
Washington club turned TO the way In
which we occasionally sink deeper and
deeper trying to extricate ourselves.
when Senator William z. Dillingham; Of
Vermont recalled little incident along
that line.
One OF the features OF an entertain
ment that was given for charity some
time since was n vocal selection by a
woman. Midway In the audience q
meek-looking little man listened at.
tentively.
THAT In the most atrocious singing
! ever heard" remarked woman 10
the meek little man. II wonder who
the vocalist isT
"She IL my wife" was the startling
rejoinder OF the meek little man.
"Oh. beg your pardon u responded
the other. greatly flushed. "The fault
may lie with the music. which is really
barbnrous. Have you any Idea who
composed ~"
Eyes, madam" replied the other, ad'
ministering yet more embarrassment.
~ dId."-Philndeiphia Evening Tele-
graph.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Pathetic War incident.

Lieutenant Turner OF Saskatchewan
lost his eyeslght at Ypres. Some time
ago he was taking his coat from the
checker In prominent London restau-
rant when man beside him. noticing
bis blindness. took II gently from him
and held IL while he slipped his arms
into the sleeves. Believing the service
was rendered by an attendant, Lieu
tenant Turner offered him a shilling
as tip.
'"That won't be necessary" kindly
said a friend OF the lieutenant, with
an apologize nod TO the man who had
held the coat. "The man who helped
you was General -"
The blind soldier blushed and asked
the pardon OF the general but the lat
ter was equal 10 the occasion.
II won't accept your apology. but
ri accept your shilling and I'll treas
ure II as souvenir Of one Of the best
soldiers who ever fought for Canada
and the allies"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
A New London Drink.

An American In public bar In Lon
don was mystifled recently when Gus
toner entered and sang out: "1.035
hop. please" At first the mnn from
the States believed the newcomer was
seeking to telephone, but the bar maid
put out drink, the thirsty one drank
and paid for II and then left without
saying another word. or course, Amer
lean inquisltiveness had to be satisfied
Investigation developed that the
latest beer price order In England fixes
the maximum price Of beer at lower
gravity tnan 1,036 at eight cents
pint and beer at gravity Of from 1.0S6
to 1902 mt ten cents "A pint.-Montreal
Star.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
ALL PREPARED FOR MEASLES
indianapolis Newspaper Treats Ad-
vent Of Disease az Something OF
Which to Make a Jest.

Have you had the measles YETI
Well, just be patient. 1t is only a
matter Of time.
A physician was asked how he ac-
counted for the great number OF cases
Of measles this year. and he smiled
and said that the old germs were all
frozen during the very cold weather
and that they were trying out the new
supply. Professional men have such
charming manners, which invariably
accompany those evaslve answers.
One never knows whether they are
afraid of disclosing state secrets or
whether the sweet smile and graceful
bow are serving In an armorial ca
pacity.
So, II you awaken some morning and
your forehead Is mass of little
patches of carmine and your throat
feels dry and your head feels hot, don't
be alarmed. 1t simply means that
you have been chosen to become a
member of the Ancient Accepted Or
der of Measleites, and that the initia-
tion has begun. A five days vacation
is about to be thrust on you, which
you will enjoy, more or less, probably
less, particularly II you have the
'Hun" variety, which Is as treacher-
ous as the name implies.
OF course, If you are pressed for
time, there is 24-hour kind which Is
very good. 1t has all the appearances
of the genuine article without any Of
the disagreeable features. The doc
tors call 1t Dukes disease" but II be-
longs to the measle family, and you
will be perfectly safe (and considera-
bly, more comfortably In selecting that
kind.-Indianapoli News.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
MELTING POT FAILS TO MELT
Trouble Is. According to Writer. That
the Stocking Of the Fires is
Neglected.

This melting pot OF ours has been
asked TO melt up more different kinds
OF stun than the department Of min
eralogy ever heard OF. It's got more
things In II than New England boiled
dinner, or a rummaRe sale. Porter En-
erson Browne writes In McClure's
And to have gotten all these ingredi-
ents properly melted would have meant
that every second man was a stoker
and every first coal miner.
But Instead Of that. every second
man has been a motorcar manufactur-
er and every first an open market.
And the result has been that so far
from melting these different ingredi.
ents. we haven't done anything with
them at all. They have just been
dumped In and lain there. here pile
OF Armenians. there bunch OF Ger.
mans. over yonder pile of Jews. and
beyond that chunk OF Chinese. And
New York, which has been our biggest
receiving station. has come TO take on
the appearance of one of those dishes
OF hors d'oeuvres that you strike In
Italian restaurnnts--sardlne In one
compartment, olives In another. sau.
sage In a third. anchovles In fourth.
and so on, all separate. distinctive aud
individual
And as the United States comprises
~ states, so does each OF our states
comprise IS or more cities and each
Of our cities As different colonies Of un-
mixed and often unmixable national.
tiles.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
REMINDS SOLDIERS OF HOME
Small Goddess Of Liberty In Paris A..
tracks Americans TO Bridge Where
She stands.

There Is little old bridge in Paris,
In an out.of-the-way part OF the city,
that Is being trod by many Yankee
feet these days.
The Eiffel tower is about three
fourths Of n mile away, and the dis
tance between the tower and the little
bridge Ia about ms unattractive as you
could and In Paris, Nor does the
brldge-called the pont de 0renelle---
lead you across the Seine TO any sight
seeing place. t
But that bridge supports In It's center
a statue OF the Goddess Of Liberty, the
same glorious lady who holds aloft her
flame OF righteousness In New York
harbor. A great many Americans have
learned on this bridge that the Goddess
OF Liberty was gift from France to
Amercn. The description on the ped.
estai records this fact and there fol.
lows In French an excerpt from the let.
ter OF acceptance OF Vice President
Morton.
The figure Is only about 10 feet tall.
but the disparity In size as compared
with the original permitted one imng.
inative Yank to close his eyes half
shut today and declare that the effect
was OF sieaming Into New York har.
Dor with the gigantic goddess looming
up In the distance. And while he was
looking up, enjoying this odd effect.
several large gulps could he distIn-
guished as they passed down his
throat.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
NOT BOTHERED BY WORRY
Trouble In colored Mans Case Meet
Certainly Did Not Induce
insomnia.

Representative Carter of Oklahoma
was telling some OF his colleagues In
the cloakroom Of the house the other
day story Of n negro In his state who.
under persuasion perhaps, had for
saken the Republican party and cast
his fortunes with the Democrats. says
the Washington Post He Rdiped n 10.
cal reputation and soon his former as
soclntes In the old organization begnn
to talk among themselves. Finally they
determined 10 get the deserter back. II
possible. A committee went TO the re-
calcitraDt and urged him to come back,
but the Democrat was stubborn.
"Well, II you. don't give up the Dem
ocrats we're goin' to tie your hands
and feet, put gag In your mouth and
take you down 10 the old cave you
know about aud drop you In" they
threatened.
The threat had it's effect TO the ex-
tent that In confidence the deserter
told a white friend, a lawyer. of what
he had been told.
"Dont pay any attention to thcm."
advised the lawyer. 'They wouldn't
attempt anything like that"
But the negro wasn't satisfied. He
continued talking about what his
brethren were going to do to him.
''If they were to do anything like
that" .".said the lawyer. "they would be
arrested. and II you should be found
dead they would be hanged"
That's all right" said the negro.
hut II wouldn't do me no good to have
'em hanging II ] was dead"
II knew there had been something
wrong with YOU" said the lawyer. II
have seen you brooding for some time.
and II you don't stop II the first thing
you know you will go out and commit
suicide over your troubles"
"Naw. indeed" said the negro.
" 'tain't no cisance of dati Whenever
I gifts TO worryin' bout mah troubles
jes' nachilly goes TO sleep"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12

There is some talk among a number
Of the women folk of Woodruff place
of organizing club to be known as
'The Ins and Outs" Not that they
wish to be marked as gad-abouts or
anything Of the sort. The proposed
club title refers solely to a recent
pamphlet issued by the authorities of
"the town within a city" which con-
tains the directory of the 1900 inhab-
itants. The booklet is neatly arranged,
is embelllshed with pictures of the
towns beauty spots and contains plen-
ty OF advertisements as all good direc-
tories should. But somehow In the
course from census taker to printer
the names Of about twenty-five Of the
good wives of the town were omitted.
The little club idea has been proposed
with one requirement for membership,
which is that the member shall be "in"
the town and "Out" Of the directory
Indianapolis News.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Grocer Had Nothing to Say.

The grocer thought one day that he
would like steak for his dinner as a
change from the bacon. so he sent his
little girl across to the butcher for one
pound Of steak.
On receiving the steak, he thought
he might satisfy his curiosity by weigh
ing 1t, and In so doing he found 1t TO
be four ounces light Of weight.
He brought II across TO the butcher
and said: "What Is the meaning OF
only giving me twelve ounces of meat
instead Of one pound?"
The butcher calmly replied: II lost
my one-pound weight, $50 I had to use
your one-pound packet Of tea"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
PROOF THAT WORLD MOVES
Simple Little Experiment VIII Con-
vince the Skepticai OF Fact Pretty
Generally Conceded.

Take a good-slzed bowl, fill IL nearly
full of water and place 1t upon the
floor of room which is not exposed to
shaking or jarring from the street
Sprinkle over the surface OF the water,
coating OF lycopodium powder. Then
upon the surface of this coating Of
powder make. with powdered charcoal.
straight black line, say, an inch or
two In length.
Having made this little mark with
the charcoal powder on the surface
Of the contents of the bowl, lay upon
the floor close to the bow a stick or
some other straight object. so that 1t
will be exactly parallel with the mark.
If the line happens to be parallel with
crack in the floor or with any sta
tionary object in the room, this will
serve as well.
Leave the bowl undisturbed for
few hours and then observe the po-
sition of the black mark with reference
to the object with which 1t was
parallel. 1t will be found TO have moved
in the direction opposite to the move
ment of the earth on its axis. The
earth in simply revolving has carried
the water and everything else in the
bowl around with it, but the powder
on the surface has been left behind
little.
The line will always be found to
have moved from east to west, which
Is perfectly good proof that everything
else has moved the other way.
n.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Waited Long for Order.

The German soldier does exactly
what he ls told, and no more.
A German officer was drilling rc.
cruits. and had just given them the or.
der: "Quick march" when he no.
ticed his sweetheart coming across the
barrack square.
Forgetting all about the recruits. ne
entered Into conversation with the girl
and went away with her.
Six months later the same officer
was walking down the main street of
the same town when he saw some tat
tered and tired soldiers approaching
him. One OF the soldiers. recognizing
the officer, went up TO him and, saiut-
Ing. said:
"Please. sir, what about haltf"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Effect Of War on Birth Rate.

In his recent presidential address 20
the Royal Statistical society Sir Ber.
nard Mallet declared the United King
dom has lost by the fall In births dur.
ing the war more than 100000 poten.
tial lives. During the same period he
estimates that Germany has lost e..
eo0.0Oo and Hungary i.5Oo.OOO. The
greater decline in the birth rate In the
central empires IL ascribed to the fact
that the poorer classes In those couD.
tries have suffered greatly In health
and vlgor on account OF the war. while
the corresponding classes in Great
Britain have actually enjoyed more IA
vorable conditions than In time Of
peace.-Scientihc American.
Buy a War Saving Stamp.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Yours 10 Coming. wIiIisml

Bad as things are. II IL impossible
not to smile at william Hohenzollern.
or the Russian pence he said:
''The complete victory fills me with
gratitude. II permits us to i've again
one OF those great moments In which
we can reverently admire Gods hand
In history"
Did more sanctimonious scoundreI
ever cut a thrOnt2
All. william You rest on the knees
Of the gods, and far from safety Any
moment over you may go. face down.
and our turn will come to admire Gods
hand In history, applied VIZ EN-
phasls where II viii do uioss good
Life.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Adjustable Support for Broken Limbs.

TESTS of new limb support which
have been made In hospital in this
country have proved so satisfactory
that Red Cross unit will take one Of
the devices to France, together with
specifications for making others, II de-
sired" snys Popular Mechanics Maga-
zine. AS described and illustrated, It
consists of "a hammockllke sling sus-
pended from steel arm that can be
attached either to a bed or n wheel
chair. It's special feature is the free
dom Of movement that Is affords the
patient. BY means of rope and pull
leys the sling can be raised or lowered,
while the supporting arm permits 1t
to swing from side to side"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Trophies o, German Alrmsn.

From an illustration appearing in a
recent Issue of La Guerre Aerienne II
Is gathered that Baron Won Richthofen,
the well-kDown German in command
OF German nghting squadron or fly
ing slreus." has n speelai hobby for
souvenirs Of his sombats. The walls
CT his "den" are dessnaSea With the
numbers oy distinguished marlse Of
machines he has shst dswp. whHe the
chandelier sensists N a. .rseox pag,se
franS n vistin's Nssktse. --sssssie
AnayfSaa.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Use Of Torpedoes In Warfare.

Between 1873 and 1893, when the
Spanish-American war broke out, there
were only twelve instances In which
the torpedo had been used In actual
warfare. The Russo-Japancse war in
1904 afforded many opportunities for
the use OF this deadly weapon of de-
struction. and Whitehead's invention
of the submarine boat and the torpedo
had Its first real trial In the present
war.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
c4t This out--Is !. Worth None

Ipn'tM'ss This. Cut out this SIN
encie with &c e. FOLEY & Co., 2Sa
sbeff cd Al. Cb cage, H.. wrltiu
your isne and dress clear,
You vii, reco ., IL return tri,
package containing l'oiey's Hone
and Tar cceipouid, for coughs, cold
and Group. Foley Kidney pills an
Foley Cathartic Tablets.--sold b
Reed Bros.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
An Education.

'Dld you manage to give your boy
much schoolingT
"Finest possible" rejoined Farmer
Corntossel. "Josh Joined the army and
Is being educated abroad"
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12

women's skirts in Paris are no
worn ten TO sixteen inches from h
ground. par's'ans evidently think
,icsi 10 70 6 nscrve modesty as wa
a. drcs goods for the duration Of Il
, ar.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
Hard for the stork.

One Sunday afternoon when Jones,
who had been visiting the ZOO, came
home. he announced to the family:
They've got new baby hppota-
mus"
Whereupon his daughter, about hf-
teen, burst into a ht of uncomfortable
laughter. When she had subslded
somewhat the father grOwled:
"Wbat are you laughing ati"
II was just thinking" giggled the
girl. "that that rather kills the stork
stoFy."--Harper's Magazine.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12
HOLY FAMILY CHURCH
(Catholic)

Cor Miller and G. SITS.
Sunday High Mass at 1890 o'clock
Week days Mass at 7 o'clock.
Instructions for children Satur-
days at . A. M.
Rev. Father Francis. o. F. M.
Rector.
---O---
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-10-12

TpsebIs Enough.
Bibb-ne xSssrvss Assgsg for
net Hgyisg ne tbst slt debt.
.&ssaHGI Sk,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-05-31
MEANING OF SHIP TONNAGE
Several Different Uses of Term, Ap-
piled as Occasion Demands, Are
Cited by National Authority.

The different uses Of tonnage terms
when speaking of ships are causes of
confusion to the lay mind. Why ships
cannot be really compared according
to tonnage is explained by Capt. c. A.
McAllister, engineer in chief, United
States coast guard, in an article IN
Popular Science Monthly. For example,
he states, steamship companies, In or
der to impress relative safety OF their
craft, will advertise the sailing OF q
certain. steamer Of 10000 tons, mean
ing, of course, gross tons. The COM
panv's agent, in entering it at the GUS
tom house, will take precautfon TO GER
tify that she Is only 7,34O tons, When
having tonnage taxes. He then Is re-
ferring to her net tonnage, ana IN 1act
that standard is used only when pay
ing dues or taxes.
Displacement tonnage Is almost ex-
clusIvely applied to warsh'ps, as theS
do not carry cargo9s. Strange TO say
the tonnage of a battieship varies al
mopi hourly, as coal or other weighty
objects are used or tafen on board.
The tonnage of warships is, however,
fixed: they are referred to in terms OF
the fixed tonnage.
A statement that a 10,OOO-tOn battle
ship sank 1O,O00-tOn merchant ship
does not mean that the ships were OF
equal size. The merchant ship would
he much larger. owing 70 the different
meanings Of the term "ton," as applied
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1918-05-31

ct WASN'T your faoIts ne soio.
around with you and chummin' in with
you the way l have? That is, do you
think I've disgraced you? Are you
ashamed of me"
81? Ashamed Of you? You're jok-
ingw
mo, I'm serious. Understand now,
I'm not apologizin'. My ways are my
ways, and think they're just as good
as the next feller's, whether he's from
South Denboro Orwell, Broad street.
I've got a habit Of thinkin' for myself
and actin for myself, and whenI take
off my hat it's to bigger man than
l am and not to a more stylish hat.
But since I've lived here in New York
I've learned that, with whole lot of
folks, hats themselves count more than
what's underneath 'em. l haven't
changed mine, and 1 amt goin' to.
Now, with that plain and understood
do you want me to live here in the
same house with you? 1 amt fshin'
for compliments. 1 want an honest
answer"
He got it. Pearson looked him square
ly in the eye.
81 do,'' he said. Il like you, and l
don't care a blank about your hat. Is
that plainw
Captain Elisha's reply was delivered
over the balusters in the hall.
"Hi!' he called. 'Hi, Mrs. Hepton."
The landlady had been anxiously
waiting. She ran from the dining
room to the foot of the stairs.
"Yes" she cried. What is it,"
"Its a bargain" said the captain
I'm ready to engage passage"