davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Tho Mlddlemen.

A farmer raised q peck Of wheat
beside the River Dee; Q boarder ate
70 wheated loaf way down in Ten.
nessee; the loaf the boarder fed upon
cost half as much and more as did the
farmers peck Of wheat month or 80
before. snow, why Is this" the board.
or raved. "they hold me up on bread 2"
rAnd why is wheat 80 bloomin' cheapY'
the Flooding farmer said.
A chap beyond the Rocky ridge
raised 20 pounds of lines; another
one In old New York was kicking on
the times. for he had downed a glass
Of "ade," and, poor forlorn galoot, had
paid one-half the market price Of 20
pounds Of fruit. "Now. why Is this,
they soak me thus for this wee sip of
ade'r "And why" exclaimed the
orchard man, IAN I % poorly paid"
Now hold your horses steady there.
you man beside the Dee: 60 easy
there. you hungry chap in sunny Ten.
nessee; restrain yourself, you orchard
man. forbear this angry talk, and you
beside the soda fount in Little Old
Moo Yawk. remember this: Our food
and drink. no matter where and when,
must also be the food and drink Of
thirty middlemen.--Utica Globe.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
REVIVED OLD APPLE STORY
Prisoner Related In Court That His
Adam and Eve Encounter Was
Caused by the Red Fruit.

"EvG since Eve tempted Adam with
an apple there has been more or less
trouble" remarked James Il. Deery,
judge of city court says the Indian
apolis News, but this morning was
the first time that l have had an ex-
ample of the trouble which may be
caused between Il man and woman by
an apple"
A man had been arrested charged
with assault and battery on his wife.
The wife had tried to shield him when
she took the stand. but admitted hav-
ing had little urpleasuntness with
her mate.
When the man took the stand he
asked whether he should tell the story
from the beginning, and when told to
go ahead started by saying: Judge,
your honor, all this trouble was caused
by an apple"
"Yes, l have heard that story be-
fore" said the judge. "The Bible even
says that an apple caused trouble be-
tween Adam and Eve. and most people
think that all of our troubles date 10
that time"
"But this was real apple" replied
the prisoner, "We had an argument
over II and when my wife became loud
| merely showed her away from me.
Then some nosey neighbors called the
police"
"All right" said Judge Deery, but
| believe the real cause of this trouble
IL that you do not work steadily. Now,
L AN going to let you go this time on
the condition that you heed some adj
vice relative to steady employment,
which friend Of yours is going to
give you AS soon ms you leave the
courtroom"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Curious Burlals.

The Inhabitants Of Mesopotamia
have curious customs in the disposal
Of their dead. The corpse is carried
TO the grave dressed In ordinary
clothes. with the face uncovered. Bod
les are buried In shallow graves, and
after a period dug up again, the bones
being collected into white linen bag
and deposited In small buildings.
'One day." says an officer Of the
r. A. NJ. O., IT saw such a bag in a
church; It was labelled with a wom-
ans name. In a village near the
Struma I have visited ono of these
storehouses Of the bones Of the de-
parted. The bags most recently placed
In It were stih white and whole; 9TH
ers were whole, but stained brown by
time. Those that had been deposited
In years past had rotted away"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
RELIABLE PRESCRIPTION
FOR THE KIDNEYS

For many years druggists have watched
with much interest the remarkable record
maintained by DR.. Kilmer's Swamp. Root.
the great kidney, liver and bladder med-
cine.
IL is a physicians prescription.
Swamp-Root is strengthening medi-
cine. 1t helps the kidneys, liver and b!ad.
der do the work nature intended they
should do.
Swamp Root has stood the test of years.
1t is sold by all druggists on its merit and
1t should help you. No other kidney medi-
cine has so many friends.
BE sure to get Swamp. Root and start
treatment at once.
However if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to DIR.
kilmer & Co., Binghamton, n. Y, for a
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Ady.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Modern Warfare,

EVERY man should be sufficiently
trained 10 fight for his country If the
need should ever arise" said the adyo-
cate of preparedness.
Just what do you mean by that?"
asked the expert squirrel shooter.
"lIe should be physically TT and able
Ia handle gun"
Il can I'LL those requirements all
right, but would have 10 have little
instruction before | could spray liquid
fire and send over waves Of poison
gas"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
nEwLYWEDs DINE ON STEW
WIfsy Prepares Dainty Morsei with
Own Little Hands - But Physl.
clan Must Be Called for Hubby.

The cook had insisted on q day of,
and young Mrs. Freshly wedd was In
. Quandafy and her stunning new
house gown Of twisted percale, muses.
the Detroit Free Press.
"Pll make a stew--anybody can
make stewi" she cried.
And she proceeded to make a stew.
In the icebox she found seven frank
furters, q dozen fried oysters and three
picked herring.
How fortunate-meat Is the very
importantest thingl" she exclaimed.
And she chopped It all up and added
three cupfuls of salt and two Of pepper
90 as to be sure not to forget the sea-
eoning. Then--because she knew that
. stew must have lots of variety-shc
put In glass Of olive oil, two table
spoonfuls Of grated nutmeg. two pack
ages Of Saratoga chips. a can Of sal
mon and half cake Of bitter choco-
late.
At $3.50 Freshly-Wedd camo home
her Ben, stalwart and handsome. who
had never known an hours illness In
dis life.
''Phewi" he exclaimed. "what's
that smellr
ITS stew made for you wiz my
own little hands," she told him.
'Divine aroma r. cried Freshly-wedd,
and forthwith sat down and ate two
big platefuls, while his wife watched
him so eagerly that she forgot to eat
any herself.
Three hours later. In response to q
hurry call, Doctor Blister drove up and
rang the front doorbell. Query. Who
was the patient, and whyf
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
The Ideal and the Real.

''Can you imagine billion dollars7"
Eyes," answered the cautious citi-
zen II think I can. All you have to
do IL to picture figure Il with long
string of ciphers after 1t. A mental
grasp of billion doesn't cause me
near the difficulty of a hand-to-hand
struggle for two dollars and q half"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
True to His Convictions.

The purchasing agent lay in bed
sore smitten with serious sickness.
A specialist stood by his bedside and
said: 81 can cure you"
whats your bld?" moaned the sick
man.
zone hundred dollars"
"You'll have to do better than that"
gasped the purchasing agent; "Tve got
better bid from the undertaken" -
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Stiekina TO the Point

Have you amused your baby broth
or, Willie, ana kept him quiet while |
was gomez"
"ies, ma, and he hasn't opened his
mouth since YOU went away"
"Whut ala You do to umuse him,
WillleT"
Il gave him the muclage bottle to
suck"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Chlldren's Resistance.

Chiidren's recuperative powers, gen.
orally speaking, are superior to those
of older people. Proper rest and care
will often ward off serious illness, but
this requires care and insight on the
part of the parents, as the children
themselves are not apt to call atten-
ton to their condition until they be-
come seriously I'll.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Hla Influence.

~ thought Jlggs was going to use
his influence to get you elected to
membership In the club" "He did"
"What happened?" Hes been asked
to resign"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
Use Locust Pins.

The government is reported to have
reached decision that tree nails or
wooden pins used In shipbuilding must
be of locust or eucalyptus, The black
locust will he the particular species
used.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

Postcard Vender-How do you man
age to have SO many customers2
Taxi Driver-I have them by driv-
ing them away.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

A sewing circle Is frequently com
posed Of lot Of women who dress The
heather up and their ncighbors down.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

Philadelphia municipal court heard
1904 cases in last fiscal year.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
As to the Farmers.

The number of farmers who will pay
Income taxes has not been estimated
by the government officials, but 1t Is
certain they will form large percen-
tage Of the 100000 persons assessed
who mover before have paid an income
tax. The average farmer does not
keep books but If he avuils himself OF
the services OF government experts
who will be sent TO aid him, II will not
be difficult for him 10 ascertain the
amount of his net income.
The farmer Is making out his return
may deduct depreciation in the value
Of property and machinery used IN the
conduct of his farm, and loss by fire,
storm or other casualty, or by theft II
not covered by insurance. Expenses
actually incurred In farm operation
may he deducted, but not family or llv-
Ing expense. Produce raised on the
farm and traded for groceries, wearing
apparel. etc. IL counted as living ex-
pendiures and cannot be deducted.
Salaries paid by the state or n pOlit-
lcal subdivision OF the state are ex-
empt. A farmer holding the Job Of
county supervisor, for instance, does
not have TO include his salary In his In
come tax return.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

ST, Paul Is to entertain American
Federation of Labor In l0lS.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
In Which Sense2

81 hear the sheriff is after Maud
"Yes, l believe he has an attachment
for her"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

Members OF spinsters' club are
never over twenty years of age
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

Removes Paint From Glass.
To remove pnint from window glass
rub II well with hot sharp vinegar.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25
NO WAY TO EVADE
THE INCOME TAX
EVERY GOOD AMERICAN EARNING
FAIR LIVING WILL HELP TO
PAY EXPENSES OF WAR.
RETURNS DUE BEFORE MARCH

Heavy Penalties Provided fer Failure
TO File Them-Government officIaIs
viii BE In Every County to Assist
the Taxpayers.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

Colds Cause Headache and Grin
LAXATIVE BROMO QuININB removes The en- use
There Is only one "Bromo Quiniue." H. w. GROVES
signature IL on b0x 10c.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25


Observation-Disclosures pay an in
come taxi"
That is the question that thousands
of Americans are asking. The answer,
In general way, lies In this state
ment:
Every unmarried person having q
net income of $1,000 or more, and ev-
lily having an income of $1,000 or more
must file return. These returns must
be In the hams Of the collector Of In
ternal revenue In the district In which
the taxpayer lives or has his principal
place Of business between January /
and March 1, 1918.
The man who thinks to evade this
tax Is making serious error. Revenue
officials will be In every county to
check returns. Failure to make cor
rect return within the time specified
involves heavy penalties.
met income" means gross income
less certain deductions provided for by
the act. The law defines income as
profit, gain, wages, salary, commits
sions, money or its equivalent from
professions, vacations, commerce.
trade, rents, sales and dealings in prop
erty, real and personal, and interest
from investments except interest from
government bonds, or state, municipal
township or county bonds. Incomes
from service as guardian, trustee or
executor; from dividends, pensions,
royalties, or patents, or oil and gas
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1918-01-25

revenue act will be fully explained by
revenue officers who will visit every
county in the United States between
January and March l to assist tax
payers in making out their returns.
officers to Visit Every LEGALITY.
Notice Of their arrival In each local
ity will be given In advance through
the press, banks and post offices. They
will be supplied with income tax forms
copies of which may be obtained also
from collectors Of internal revenue.
The bureau of internal revenue 10
seeking to impress upon persons sub
ject to the tax the fact that failure to
see this official in no way relieves
them Of the duty imposed by law to
file their returns within the tine speci-
6ed
The government Is not required to
seek the taxpayer. The taxpayer Is
required to seek the government. Per-
sons In doubt as to whether they are
subject to the tax or not or as to how
to make out their returns, will readily
understand, therefore, that n visit to
this official may mean the avoidance
of later difficulties.
The penalty for failure to make the
return on time Is n fine of not less
than 500 nor more than $1,000, and
In addition so per cent OF the amount
of the tax due. For making false
or fraudulent return, the penalty Is
n fine not to exceed $1,000 or not ex-
ceeding one wears Imprisonment, or
both, In the discretion OF the court and
In addition 100 per cent of the tax
evodod
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21
The Huns Have Capt
ured Shak espeare

THE Germans are evidently trying to
make good their claim that they
have annexed" Shakespeare. Accord
ing to the Year Book of the German
Shakespeare Society there were 900 per-
formances of Shakespeare's plays in Ger
many and Austria last year, given at
1913 theatres. 1t is significant fact,
probably due to the war, that the come
dies enjoyed greater favor than the
tragedies. The largest number of per-
formances of any one play was of "As
You Like It," which was played 1872
times at eighteen theatres. "Twelfth
Night" followed with ia performances,
at twenty-six theatres Hamlet" was
played Ill times, at thirty-four theatres;
"Othello," ninety-eight, at thirty-nine;
Midsummer Nights Dream" eighty
seven, at twenty-two; Romeo and Ju-
liet," seventy-eight, at twenty-eight, and
Merchant of Venice" seventy-four, at
thirty-one. Even plays like "Timon of
Athens" "Antony and Cleopatra"
Loves Labor's Lost" and "Cymbeline"
are registered with few performances.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21

themselves sent to prison. The others
yielded to discipline.
'But one of them, named Frisouet
declared
"'The way things are running this
battalion will not be ready for at least
a month. / am going to spend three
weeks at Marseilles. 1t is the season for
catching sea urchins.'
"He kept his word. Eight days after
he had announced his intentions he
started for Marseilles on a regular fur
Tough. And he sent his squad, as he had
promised to do, bouillabaisse and a
basket Of shellfish."
Glow did he get away" asks Moutte
"1t was very SIMPLE" answers Van
Reupel. "The drill over, one morning
at l l o'clock he presents himself to the
surgeon.
Here l am, Monsieur lie Majeur,' he
says. I don't want to go on the sick
list. | haven't come for treatment. I
only want to consult you
"1n that way he,feels sure of winning
the head surgeons confidence. He con-
tinues:
esterday | went to the Island Of
Bartelasse and dog bit me in the calf
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21

of tie leg. I paid no attention to it.
But since then | have felt as if I was
walking on wooden stump
What kind of a dog was it?' asks
the major.
A dirty looking beast
Did he foam at the mouth?'
Heavens! l didn't look to see
whether he slobbered'
And his tail-how was his tail?'
1t was cut off
But suppose he was mad-this dog
of yours?'
Mad! Mad! Monsieur lie Maieurr
he gets pale, shudders and repeats
with stupefed air:
Mad! What is going to become of
me? They are going to kill me-to
smother me between two mattresses
Show me your leg.
The major examines it, touches Il
recognizes the marks of the teeth. meas.
ures their depth and their length. Then
he says:
1 am going to send you to the Pas
teur Institute at Marseiles You will be
under treatment there for twenty DAYS
will they cure me?'
Certainly, my good fellow. You
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21

will go tonight But wait till put on
bandage'
"Ten minutes later Frisquet left the
lnfrmary with his furlough order in his
pocket and several yards of fine linen
cloth bound about his wound, which was
in reality made by teeth-but by the
teeth of two forks
"Frisquet had arranged them like the
jaws of dog. He had impressed the
teeth of that jaw of white metal on the
soft flesh of his calf And by trick,
long studied and scientifically per-
formed, he had produced in the flesh the
marks of a bite"
He wasn't up to snuff, your major"
grinned Pachaquant, the zouave.
''He had won his four stripes in Africa
"a man of experience, whom nobody
could fool" answered Van Reupel.
That doesn't alter the fact that in
the bite of your comrade he couldn't
have seen anything but black and blue
bruises"
Don't be so sure till you hear the end
of tie story. His treatment finished,
Frlsquet returned to the battalion He
served we'll. He lives to-day on his CAPT.
tai IS soldier. That is to say, his right
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21
Facts, Facts, Facts!

OTHER pages are so crammed with
~ worthwhile information, so clearly
and entertainingly set forth, that the
grown-up may we'll study his lessons
Cat Can See in the Dark" "Why the
Current of the River Is More Rapid at
the Centre Than Near the Shore" "What
Is Mercury and What Is It's Nature?"-
these are some of the questions the au-
thor attempts to answer Again, if young
Pierre is mechanically inclined, he will
study the exposition and diagrams on
Chow the Automobile Works" There's
another section that will show small
Henri how to make all manner of strange
and delightful objects: GLOW to Make
Frame" Glow to Build Little City"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21

Orlando

arm has been amputated and he has
been decorated.
Il ran across him recently. AS we
walked by the stall of fish dealer l re-
called the story of the mad dog and the
way he pulled the wool over the eyes
of the surgeon. And Frisquet answered
me:
Il didn't fool him. The old fellow
had served in battalion in Africa in
which had served. We recognized each
other He realized that to have faxed
wound as had done must have had
an overpowering desire to get away from
camp He couldn't give me a real sick
leave. On what ground? But my trick
with the two forks must have delighted
the heart of the old campaigner so he
sent me to Marseilles, where I wanted to
go. For he saw if he didn't humor me
l was ready to desert.
For that matter, paid my debt. 1t
was he whom I thought of when I went
into the attack. 1t was with the idea
that it would please the old surgeon-it
was because my deception suddenly
weighed very heavily on my easy going
consclence-that / said to myself as we
started out: "Frisquet, distinguish your.
self. You MIXED the COW. Now YOU
must square your account"
~ did my best. And the proof that
didn't fool the major is that in treating
me on the ground under fire, when nv
arm was hanging to the shoulder only by
few shreds of flesh, he said to me. with
smile: "Now you can never fix YOUR
forks again in the shape of dogs Jaw.
All right, my good fellow! You shall
nave your medal-and your leave. And
you won't get it this time bv smart
trick"'"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21
On Our Dark ness

\ n INTERESTING English reaction
to the temporary darkening Of
New York after the U-boat raid appears
in THE London Daily Mail':
"The darkening of New York as precau-
ton against possible air raids is one OF
the dramatic events Of the war Nothing
SO prlcks the mind to full realization Of
the world extent of this conflict as the
thought of that glttering city, constella-
ton of lights at night like no other city
on earth, 5000 miles away from the battle
fields of Europe, and to many British peo-
pies minds during the first years Of the
war faroff elysium where the trumpets
OF Armageddon were but as horns of elf
land, family blowing now lying draped at
nights in shades that have become second
nature to London.
This darkening of New York is one
more sign that the American people are IN
this war as we are in it, sharing our DIS
comforts, liable to some of our risks. AND
the submarine attack off the Atlantic sea
board ought to be taken to heart by that
dwindling school of 'optimists' in this coun-
try who still believe that America has only
to stride into the war and that at the tramp
OF her millions the enemy will surrender
Before the United States is now that same
iong-drawn ordeal that has been Frances
and Great Britains. Before her lie the
same pouring out of treasure and the same
pouring out of that which is beyond treas
ure--the blood of the flower OF her man
hood. This darkening of New York is
symbol of the approaching climax Of the
worlds greatest DRAMA"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21

But the penguin is only one Of the
birds mentioned. Just as curious are the
South American ostrich, the cassowary,
which is strong enough to hold its own
in battle with large dogs; the Austria
liam emu, which is oftentimes busted with
family as large as forty after the eggs
are Matched in the spring. Nor does the
writer forget the apteryx, which resem-
bles most nearly the dinornis Of prehis-
toric times, and the strange kaka7o' and
hoatzin, provided with sharp claws for
climbing,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21
The White Cockade

Chorus:
n He's q ranting, roofing lad,
~ He as a brisk an bonnie lad,
Betide aUhat may, I aciU be aoed,
And folIoaO the boy aOi' the White Cock.
1fy love avds born IN Aberdeen.
The bonniest lad that e'er Uas seen:
But noaU he makes our hearts fu' sad:
He takes the field aOi' his White Cockade.
PU sell my rock, my reel, Day tow,
My guld gray mare and hu1vkit COW,
10 buy nlysel q tartan plaid,
To folloaO the boy aUi' the White Cockode.
Chorus:
O, he's q ra1ating, roving lad
He is brisk an bonnie lad
Betade What mag, l aUiW be aced,
And follow the boy a0T the White Cock
ode.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-07-21
l is at the hospital in X-, at
the end of August, 1916. A storm

has been lowering about the city
for three days without breaking. In
Hall No. S the heat is sitting and the
irritation of the patients is extreme.
That morning they had protested against
the brutality of the nurses and the sur
geons, "who ought not to be allowed to
care for wounded men," At luncheon
they find the meat too fat, the soup cold
and the portions of vegetables INSULT
Gent Pulling the bone from his chop,
Moutte, Marseillais, cries:
Children, would give eight days of
the furlough due me when l leave this
hospital to eat bouillabaisse, extra,
with lobster"
"Your bouillabaisse," replies Van Reu-
pei, Legionnaire, reminds me of a
good joke"
He tells the story:
at was at the beginning of the war.
We were at Avignon-3,00 of us, vol
unteers of fifty-two nationalities, assem-
bled at the ancient seat of the Popes,
To get such conglomeration of men
into shape for fighting is complicated
job. The training was not to the liking
of many of them-mysteriou types who
had seen service before, somewhere or
other, and who had reenlisted under as
sumed names.
"What squad of malingerers! For
month it was impossible to get them
to do any work or to take any drills
Always sick or always caught feigning
sickness! One fine day it became neces-
sary to march. The most obstinate got