Baxter Springs news., 1918-08-23
THE SOLDIER WIT AND A
PACK OF PLAYING CARDS

PACK OF PLAYING CARDS
gelists that preached-Matthew, Marx
Luke and John. When ] meet the five
IL reminds me Of the five wise virgins
that trimmed their lamps, there were
10, but five were wise and five were
foolish, and five were cast out. When
l see the six It reminds me that in
six days God made Heaven and earth.
A private soldier named Richard
Lee was taken before a Magistrate
for playing cards during service.
When the parson read the prayer
those who had Bibles took them out,
but this soldier had neither Bible nor
common prayer book, but, pulling out
a pack of cards, he spread them be-
fore him. He looked ut one card and
then at another. The Sergeant Of the
company saw him and said:
Richard, put up those cards; this is
no place for them"
"Never mind that" said Richard.
When the service was over the con-
stable took Richard before the mayor.
"Well," said the mayor, "what have
ycu brought this soldier here for?"
For playing cards in church"
Soldier, what have you got to say
for yOurself?"
"Much sir, l hope"
Every good. If not, l will punish
you more than ever man was punish
ed"
81 have been," said the soldier,
about six weeks on the march. /
have neither Bible nor common prayer
book, have nothing but pack OF
cards, and III satisfy your worship Of
the purity of my intentions" Spread
ing the cords before the mayor, he be-
gan with the ace.
"When / see the ace it reminds me
there is but one God. When | see the
deuce it reminds me of the Father
and Son. When l see the tray it re-
minds me of the Father, Son and
Holy Ghost. When / see the four
spot it reminds me of the four evan
When ! see the seven it reminds me
of the seventh day He rested from the
great work He had created and hal
lowed it. The eight reminds me OF
the eight righteous persons that were
saved when God destroyed the world,
viz: Noah and his wife, with three
sons and three wives. When see the
nine it reminds me of the nine lepers
that were cleansed by our Sevior;
there were nine out of 10 who never
returned thanks. When / see the ten
! it reminds me of the Ten Command
ments, which were handed down to
Moses on the tables of stone. When
see the king am reminded of the
King of Heaven, which is God Al
mighty. When / see the queen / am
reminded of the Queen of Sheba, fol
she was a wise woman, as Solomon
was a man. She brought with her 81
boys and so girls, all dressed in boys
apparel, for King Solomon to tel
which were boys and which were girls
King Solomon sent for water for then
to wash; the girls washed to their ell
bows and the boys to their wrists, sc
King Solomon told by that"
"Well," said the mayor, "you have
given a good description of all the
cards except one."
"What is that"
"The Knave," said the mayor.
81 will give your honor a descrip'
ton of that, too, if you will not b'
angry"
81 will not" said the mayor, "if yor
do not term me to be the knave."
"Well," said the soldier, "the great
est knave that l know is the constable
that brought me here"
81 do not know, said the mayor
"that he is the greatest knave, but
know he is the greatest fool"
"When / count how many spots
there are in a pack of cards, ! find
365, ,as many days as there are in a
year. In counting the number OF
cards in a pack, / find So, the number
of weeks in a year, and / find four
spits, the number of weeks in q
month. / find there are IL picture
cards, representing the number OF
months in a year, and on counting the
number of tricks / find 13, the number
of weeks in q quarter.
$50 you see, sir, a pack OF cards
serves for a Bible, an almanac and q
common prayer book. st. Louis Post
Ins-.A.l