davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Luke McLuke Says

One of the things that a man learns as he goes thorugh life is that all of the attractive women are not pretty.
 The man who tells you that his town doesn't amount to anything is usually fellow who doesn't amount to anything in his town.
 It makes us sore every time we hear a healthy man squawking about his luck Any man who has good health is simply swimming in luck. Many a woman who was born without a family tree goes ahead and branches out for himself
 And don't ever get the fool idea into your head that the girl with the dreamy eyes isn't wide awake and on the job.
 It is all right for woman to use paint on her face after she becomes shopworn. But why a young and pretty girl uses paint we can't under stand
 A boys idea of cruel and unusual
 
 without one of his regular meals.
 When one housekeeper wants to knock another housekeeper she says that you can write your name in the dust on the floor under the other housekeeper's bed.
 We know the difference between some things But what the hex is the difference between a clerk and salesperson?
 When Father comes home and finds the place looking like a 12- cylinder syclone hit it, he doesn't have to ask qeustions. He knows that Mother has discovered bed bug in the house.
 Here is another Damli: Once upon a time there was a man who knew more than he thought he knew
 We are advised that we should always tell the truth. And we are advised that we should always be polite. But any man who tries to do both things will find himself up against it.
 No, Clarence, the girl is approach ing you is not wearing her nightie. She is garbed in a lingerie blouse with a peplum or skirt section at the bottom.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
MT. Taft No Penitent.
lNoW York World l

Perhaps shall be excused if we do not share the rapture of some of Republican friends the so-called reconciliation between Mir. Taft and MT. Roosevelt It is pleasing to know that they will not be compelled to avoid each other hereafter, but that does not mean great deal.
 The break in this historic relationship sided MT. Roosevelt betrayed and destroyed his friend. He did it for selfish purpose. He be Titled MT. Taft mentally and morally He applied shameful epithets to him. To make his vengeance complete he created political vendetta, and by means of it wrecked the Republican Party II all deliberate all calculated, all determined.
 We the more inclined to doubt the genuine ness of this. reunion because the chronicles in gard to it seem to emanate from the Roosevelt press agent. The public is told that Mr. Taft made the first, second and final advance. The meeting being in a dining-room MT. Roosevelt did nothing but eat and vociferate and gesture. The conclu- son must be- therefore that MT. Taft repentant, was compassionatey forgiven, his own everast- ing pride and comfort, Does anybody believe it., and, in particular, do the Republicans who went through the political saughter-house with Mr. Taft believe it?
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
A VICTORY FOR THE RABBIT"

The labored effort to manufacture halo for the German Crown Prince out of the events of the Aisne drive is apparent in the official dis patches and the Kasers message to the Empress Probably the Crown Prince, known the French The Rabbit account of his peculiar facial expression had about much to do with planning and executing the drive the in the moon.
 He is technically in command of the armies op- cratng at that point. however. and it is necessary to give him the benefit of all the press-a agentng possible to insure his popularity at home. He does not lead his armies. direct them. but sits safely in sumptuously furnished headquarters many miles behind the lines and receives reports.
 When the drive has come to end and the Ger mans find themselves again many miles short of
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
SEND THE WORD TO WASHINGTON.

Send the word to Washington! The Anchorage Times Wickite, says it feels free to criticse fres- dent Wilson's conduct of the when occasion demands" and it starts off by saying that It would be better the country if The Colonel were at he head of the Government Send the word to Wash- ngton! President Wilson, read up on me Colohei and try to act like him, beware of Anchorage Times and the Alaska Wickites. It would be awful if they should withhold their favor from your war policies as well as your Alaska policies!
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Insurance steamships and cargoes passlhS through the war zone was above per cent last August has been 3 per cent. of late, and now they are talking of reducing it to per cent It would be interesting to know if Germany had the past four years to live over whether she would again resort to her U-boat campaign in the light of It's failure ana it's consequence to her.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

The American military historical vocabulary F being rapidy extended and enlarged. Canigny, Chat teau Thierry Neuly Wood Picardy, and Marne have already been added the list which includes the Plains of Abraham, Lewisburg, Bunker Hlll Eu'a" Springs Lundy's Lane, New Orleans San Jacnto Cerro Gordo Bull Run, Gettysburg and other lamlhaf
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

For half century the restoration or the mer- chant marine was favorite topic of political ant economic discussion in America. It is being re stored MT. Hurley says we shall have 25,0Ooooo tons of bottoms 1920. That is about 25 per cent more than Great Britans best record.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

their objective, with thousands of casualties and few miles of territory to show for it, they may wonder whether it is worth while to buy mill- tary regulations ambitious princelings at such price.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

The North German Gazette wonders if the light ming trained Yankee will hold his against the German lads who have had military training from their youth" America is putting up billions on the Yankee-boy sde.-(New York World)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Fooeyl


 The faker who was peddling Flee tric Salve was attracting an audience to his wagon by performing feats O. magic.
 Tt may be easy to get money, he announced, land you need never be broke. When I need any none. I say: 'Hokus pocus. Diplodocus! and then I remove my left shoe thusly And what do I find in the shoe? An, there it is. A ten dollai bill!"
 Si Meddersrass was deeply i'm pressed by the simple recipe for ob taining money and he hurried around the corner and sat down on a tool step and said: 'Hokus pocus, Flip lodocus!" Then he removed his Jeff shoe But all he found was a scent.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Germany is said to be using convicts in its armies. They should be proud to associate with the big guns the crime craft who started murder, rapne and arson on a wholesale basis in Europe.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Six hundred employees of the London Times have joined the army navy since the began Oi these 150 have been killed. wounded disabled by sickness
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Wilhelm has asked Carl to please fight the Ital- ians but he didn't offer 10 reinforce him with any of the Hohenzollern boys-(Dallas News)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

other necessary evidence, we are pleased to announce that Ophelia Busam lives in Thorn Hill, Ky.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

You Win, Dusty, You Win
 Wilmington JournalRepublican)
 Luke McLuke says that the two lies that are told the Oftenest are q beg your pardon" and Excuse
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Gen. Wood and The Colonel have suffered from the lack of early education They were not taught in their youth that silence is golden
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

TWO IN ONE The EMPIREk ay for everybody. The EMPIRES ids" keeps the housewife informed 0. all sales snd the Lews columns Ire right up to the minute on the tAy's news.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

American shipyards launched Fl ocean going vessels May, with a total tonnage of about $50 = GOO, making worlds record
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Douglas Island will celebrate the Fourth of July this year the same as in the hacyon past Kaiser Bill will please take note of this-( Douglas Island News.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Give us your next order for trascs- fer work or coal. Juneau Transfer Company. Phone AS.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

If Congress will carefully watch Charles E. Hughes It will learn what constructive criticism really means-(New Work Word)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Huh!

My husband is a cowardly mutt, Remarked mad Mrs. Hook; Hell discharge an obligation, but He won't discharge a cook"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke Copyright by Cincinnati
 Enquirer
No Joke

No Joke "Contentment is the lot of some,' Remarked old MT. Hutch; But if you take things as they come, My son you won't get much
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Bang! !!

Sang! Oh, bad were the words that the poor fellow said But the pain wH continue to finger He was trying to hammer the nail on the head, But he hammered the nail on the finger.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Gosh

Sign on a photographers estab- lishment in Tippecanoe City, Ohio:
 Crooks Studio. Framing Spec ialty."
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Dine at the Gastlneau. Concert every evening.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

me-" Why not include Thank You and You are Welcome?"
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Strange

But it will have to serve, We say man is nervous, when He hasn't any nerve.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Alaska has two crops that never fal-babies and fsh.-(vaidez Miner.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Incidentally. don't forget ltay-the intrepid Da vid facing the Austrian Goliath-(Seattle Times
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Why So Apprehensive, Dearie? (Situation Wanted ad. in Columbus,
 (Ohio) Dispatch) Apprehensive girl wants position in clerical work or cashier.
 Notice! If O. K. Hayslip, of Huntington w. Va, has no objections we will put him in the loft in the Club barn. "Is there any way man can avoid paying alimony?" asked the worried looking man, who was seek ing free advice.
 "Yes," replied the Lawyer. ''He can stay single"
 Oh, Buttercups! Apollo de Belvedere Murphy, of Ba tavia, Ohio, has enlisted in the Mar inc Corps.
 Bless Her Heart! Yetta Rider was married in New port, Ky, last week.
 Alta Boy!
 Eat potatoes by the ton, Anything to beat the Hun; Baked or boiled, in skins or nude, Eat 'em sober, eat 'em stewed.
 -(Ball Crank.)
 (Vanceburg (kyD Sun.) Not long after they had falling out and Washburn got hit in the fracus.
 Of Course He Meant Limousine A short-skirted girl named Irene, Was stepping into her machine;
 A guy with an eye
 For all he could spy, Cried: "Oh, what a fine limisine!" Hey, men, get the valuables into the safe. Rob Robb, of Crooksville, Ind, has joined the Club.
 Our Daily Special A Blacksmith Gets Paid For Swing ing The Hammer. Do You?
 Names Is Names After a painstaking Investigation in which we secured the EskimOs and
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

flaw, flaw! Heaven is my home" sniffled the Hypocrite. ' Then you are heluva long way from home, ain't you?" commented the rounder.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

The war has taught most of us more than a land to grow rich in.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Flashlights
(Detroit Free Press)

Detroit Free Press)
 Some folks never know when they are well off, but everybody thinks he knows when the other chap is It's easier to tell a child what he
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Paw Knows Exerythina

Willie-Paw, why is truth stranger than fiction?
 PaW-Because we are not so well acquainted with it, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Alta Boy! Eat potatoes by the ton, Anything to beat the Hun Baked or boiled, in skins or nude, Eat 'em sober, eat 'em stewed,
 -(Ball Crank.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Bless Her Heart! Yetta Rider was married in New port, Ky, last week.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Why So Apprehensive, Dearie? (Situation Wanted ad. in Columbus,
 (Ohio) Dispatch) Apprehensive girl wants position in clerical work or cashier.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14
Oh. BIIttercIJpS!

Oh, Buttercups! Apollo de Belvedere Murphy, of Ba tavia, Ohio, has enlisted in the Mar inc Corps.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

The man who thinks all the joys are downtown should take his wife along with him or some of his pleasure seeking excursions
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Notice! If o. K Hayslip, of Huntington w. Va, has no objections we will put him in the loft in the Club barn.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

Ouch!
 (Vanceburg (kyD Sum- Not long after they had falling out and Washburn got hit in the fracus.
The Alaska daily empire., 1918-06-14

After daughter gets to be 16 her mother starts telling folks that she herself was married when very young
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08
DRUGS EXCITE YOUR
KIDNEYS, USE SALTS
II your Back is aching or Bladder
bothers, drink lots Of water
and eat less meat.

When your kidneys hurt and your back
feels sore, don't get scared and proceed
to load your stomach with a lot of drugs
that excite the kidneys and irritate the
entire urinary tract. Keep your kidneys
clean like you keep your bowels clean.
by flushing them with mild, harmless
salts which removes the body's urinous
waste and stimulates them to their nor
NAL activity. The function of the kid
neys is to filter the blood. In "a hours
they strain from it 500 grains of acid
and waste, so we can readily understand
the vital Importance of keeping the kid
neys active.
Drink lots of water-you can't drink
too much; also get from any pharmacist
about four ounces of Jad Salts; take
q tablespoonful in d glass of water
before breakfast each morning for a few
days and your kidneys will act fine.
This famous salts is made from the
acid OF grapes and lemon juice, combin ned
with lithia, and has been used for genera.
lions to clean and stimulate clogged kid.
neys; also to neutralize the acids in
urine 80 it no longer is source of irri-
tation, thus ending bladder weakness.
Jad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in
jure; makes a delightful effervescent
Whitewater drink which everyone should
take now and then to keep their kid
neys clean and active. Try this, also
keep up the water drinking, and no
doubt you will wonder what became Of
your kidney trouble and backache.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08
SALTS If KIDNEYS
OR BLADDER BOTHER
Harmless to flush Kidneys and neutral
He irritating acids-Splendid
for system.

Kidney and Bladder weakness result
from uric acid, says a noted authority.
The kidneys filter this acid from the
blood and pass it on to the bladder, where
1t often remains to irritate and inflame,
causing burning, scalding sensation, or
setting up an irritation at the neck. of
the bladder, obliging you to seek relief
two or three times during the night.
The sufferer is in constant dread. the
water passes sometimes with a scalding
sensation and is very profuse; again,
there is difficulty in avoiding it.
Bladder weakness, most folks cali It.
because they can't control urination.
While it is extremely annoying and some
times very painful, this is really one Of
the most simple ailments to overcome.
Get about four ounces of Jad Salts
from your pharmacist and take a table,
spoonful in a glass of water before
breakfast, continue this for two or three
days. This will neutralize the acids in
the urine so it no longer is q source of
arrltation to the bladder and urinary or
gans which then act normally again.
Jad Salts is inexpensive, harmless.
and IS made from the acid of grapes and
lemon juice, combined with lithia. and
Is used by thousands of folks who are
subject to urinary disorders caused BY
uric acid irritation. Jad Salts is splen-
did for kidneys and causes no bad
effects whatever
Here you have a pleasant, effervescent
Whitewater drink, which quickly relieves
bladder trouble.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08
GRANDMA NEVER LET
HER HAIR GET GRAY
She Kept Her Locks Dark and
Glossy, with Sage Tea
and Sulphur.

When you darken your hair with
Sage Tea and Sulphur, no one can
tell, because it's done SO naturally. so
evenly. Preparing this mixture
though. at home is mussy and trouble
some. At little cost you can buy at
any drug store the ready-to-use prep
aratfon. improved by the addition OF
other ingredients called "Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound" You lust
dampen a sponge or soft brush with
it and draw this through your hair.
taking one small strand at a time.
BY morning all gray hair disappears.
and, after another application or two,
your hair becomes beautifully dark
ened, glossy and luxuriant.
Gray, faded hair, though no dis
grace, is sign of old age, and as we
all desire youthful and attractive
appearance, get busy at once with
Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Compound
and look years younger This readv-
to-use preparation is delightful tot
let requisite and not a medicine. tt
ts not intended for the cure. mitfea-
ton or prevention OF disease.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

rem or father of moth erless chill
dren, where such wife or children
or such mOtherless children are
not mainly dependent upon his la
Dor for support for the reason
i that there are other reasonably
certain sources Of adequate sup
port, Excluding earnings or pos
sible earnings from the labor
Of the wife), available, and that
the removal Of the registrant will
not deprive such dependents Of
support.
(D) Married man, without
children whose wife, although the
registrant is engaged in a useful
occupation, is not mainly depend
ent upon his labor for support,
for the reason that the wife is
skilled in some special class Of
work which she is physically able
to perform and in which she is
employed, or in which there is an
immediate opening for her under
conditions that will enable her to
support herself decently and
without suffering or hardship.
CO. Necessary skilled farm la
borer in necessary agricultural
enterprise.
trial laborer in necessary indus
trial enterprise.
Glass III.
CAY Man with dependent chill
dren (not his own) but toward
whom he stands in relation Of par
ent.
OBJ Man with dependent, aged
or infrm parents.
CO. Man with dependent, help
less brothers or sisters.
(D) County or municipal Of
fcer.
(E) Highly trained fireman or
policeman, at least three years in
service Of municipality.
(F) Necessary Custom House
clerk.
CO. Necessary employe Of
United States in transmission of
the mails.
(H) Necessary artifcer or
workman in United States armory
or arsenal.
CD Necessary employe in SER
lie G. United States.
CD Necessary assistant, asso-
;iAte, or hired manager Of neces-
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

sary agricultural enterprise.
(K Necessary highly special
lied technical or mechanical ex-
pert Of necessary industrial enter
prise.
N) Necessary assistant t,r as
sociate manager Of necessary in
dustrial enterprise.
Glass Nv.
(A) Man whose wife or chill
dren are mainly dependent on his
labor for support.
B) Mariner actually employ
ed in sea service Of citizen or mer-
chant in the United States.
CO. Necessary sole managing,
controlling, or directing head of
necessary agricultural enterprise.
D) Necessary sole managing,
controlling, or directing head of
necessary industrial enterprise.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

dlsagrees and places the regis
trant in another class, the mach
merry for appeal to the district
board is set in motion automati-
cally.
Of the 100000 men who will
receive the lengthy questionable
it is estimated two million will be
assigned to the first class and sub
ject to duty with the colors before
any many in any other class is
called.
The first class will be made up
Of the following:
(A) Single man without de-
pendent relatives.
OBJ Married man, with or
without children, or father Of
motherless children, who has hab-
itually failed to support his fam
lily.
CO.. Married man dependent
OH wife for support.
(D) Married man, withor with
out children, or father or mother
less children; man not usefully
engaged, family supported by in
come independent Of his labor.
(E) Unskilled farm labor.
(F) Unskilled industrial lab
orer. Registrant by or in respect
of whom nc deferred classical
ton is claimed or made. Regis
trant who fails to submit question
naire and in respect Of whom no
deferred classification is claimed
or made.
All registrants not included in
any other division in this sche-
dule.
Legal and medical advisory
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

Washington, Dec. 15.-Beginn-
ing today voluntary enlistment in
the United States army, Of regis
tired men is forbidden, except as
to certain medical and dental stu
dents.
Uncle Sam will select his fight
ing men from the list Of nine mil
lion men who on today will an
swer 149 searching questions the
answers to which will determine
his liability to military service.
The QUESTIONABLE automatically
revokes all exemptions and dis
charges under the first draft.
Failure to return his answers in
seven days after he receives the
questions makes the registrant IL
able to a year in prison. Mailing
Of the list by the local board con-
stitutes legal notice to the regis
trant. His failure to receive it
does not excuse him.
The questions are framed to
draw out every bit Of information
that may be Of value to the boards
in fixing the class to which a man
is to be assigned. No detail Of
the status Of dependents, or Of
possible or actual outside sources
OF income, has been overlooked.
The registrant, after filing in
the inside Of his QUESTIONABLE, in
dlcates on the front the class to
which he believes he should be
assigned. If the board agrees,
there is no further action neces-
sary by either party until the in
dlvldual comes due for military
service and is called up for phv-
seal examination. If the board
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

boards in every community will
aid the registrant in making hi
answers. He will indicate in VIVA
Iiosm!q sI9pIsuoo gu suo4ednooo
posed to create separate groups O.
men trained in any particular
trade or profession should tn,
need arise for them.
The men will be divided int
five classes. The fifth composed
Of the following will be exempted
or discharged from draft.
(A) Officers, legislative, execu
tive, or judicial, Of the United
States or of State, Territory, OF
District Of Columbia.
(B) Regular or duly ordained
minister Of religion.
CO. Student who on May 10,
1917, was preparing for ministry
in recognized school.
D) Persons in military or
naval service of United States.
(E) Alien enemy.
expert and from that list it is pur-
F) Resident alien (not an
enemy who claims exemption.
co Person totally and per-
manently physically or mentally
unfit for military service.
(H) Person morally unfit to
be soldier Of the United States.
CD Licensed pilot actually en-
ployed in the pursuit Of his voca-
ton.
Member Of we'll recognized reli-
gious sect or organization, organ
lied and existing on May Is, 1917,
whose then existing creed or prin-
ciples forbid it's members to par
ticipate in war in any form, and
whose religious convictions are
against war or participation
therein.
Advisory Boards Organizing.
Supporting acidavits Of other
persons must be secured by every
who claims exemption
or deferred liability in grounds Of
studying for the ministry, DEEPEN
dency and industrial or agricul-
tural grounds.
Liability to service. in the other
classes follows the numbers drawn
n the famous lottery on July 20.
These classes will be made up Of
he IolloWing:
Glass II.
(A} Married man with child
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1918-01-08

WANTED Fifteen pound Turkey. See
or write B. w. Martin, Jeweler, Scot
land Neck, N. c.. 1-7-18 If.