The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1918-01-15
IOWA MANS SATIRE
ON KAISER WILHELM
Satan Informs German Ruler He
Has 0usted All Other
Evil Doors.

st. Paul Dispatch: Louis Syber-
krop, of Creston, has acquired much
fame in recent weeks as an author
of a satire on Kaiser Wilhelm. Re-
quests have come to him from Tum-
ulty, Secretary Daniels and Roose-
welt. and people in every State in
the union and in Canada have ask
ed for copies of Mr. Syberkrop's ar
ticle. 1t is as follows:
1.-The Internal Region,
June %, 1917.
ITO Wilhelm Won Hohenzollern,
King of Prussia, Emperor of All
Germany and Envoy Extraordi-
nary of All Mighty God:
my Dear Wilhelm: can call
you by that familiar name for I
have always been very close to
you, much closer than you could
ever know.
From the time you were yet an
undeveloped being in your mothers
womb / have shaped your destiny
for my own purpose.
I'm the days of Rome 1 created
a roughneck known in history as
Nero; he was a vulgar character
and suited my purpose at that par
ticular time. In these modern days
a classic demon and efficient super
criminal was needed, and as I know
the Hohenzollern blood, picked you
as my special instrument to place
on earth an annex to he'll. l gave
you abnormal ambition, likewise an
over supply Of egotism that you
might not discover your own fail
ings; twisted your mind to that Of
mad man with certain normal
tendencies to carry you by, most
dangerous character placed in pow
er; I gave you the power of hyp-
notist and certain magnetic force
that you might sway your people.
am responsible for the deformed arm
that hangs helpless on your left, for
your crippled condition embitter:
your life and destroys all noble i'm
pulses that might otherwise cause
me anxiety, but your strong sword
arm is driven by your ambition that
sauelches all sentiment and piety;
pledged in your soul deep hatred
for all things English, for of all ma.
lions on earth hate England most;
wherever England plants her flag
she brings order out of chaos and
| the hated Cross follows the Union
Jack; under her rule wild tribes be-
come tillers of the soil and in due
time practical citizens; she is the
great civilizer of the globe and
HATE HER. planted in your soul
cruel hatred for your mother be
cause SHE was English and left my
good friend Bismack to fan the flame
II have kindled. Recent historJ
proves how we'll our work was done
1t broke your royal mothers heart
but 1 gained my purpose.
1.-THE inherited disease of the Hob
enzollerns killed your father, just a.
it will kill you, and you became tn
ruler of Germany and tool of min
sooner than I expected.
ITO assist you and further hastel
my work sent you three evil spir
its, Nietzsche, Treitschke and late
Bernhard, whise teachings infiame'
the youth of Germany, who in goo'
time would be willing and loya
subjects and eager to spill thei
blood and pull your chestnuts. your
and mine; the spell has been per
fect-you cast your ambitious eye
toward the Mediterranean, Egypt
India and the Dardanelles and yo
began your great railway to Bagdad
but the ambitious archduke and hi
+. more ambitious wife stood in you
way. 1t was then that I sowed tn
seed in your heart that blossome
into the assassination of the duk
> and his wife, and all hell smile
when it saw how cleverly you sac
died the crime on to Servia- sa'
you set sail for the fjords of MOI
way and / knew you would prove
alibi. How, cleverly done, so niue
like your noble grandfather, VIII
also secured an assassination to RI
move old King Frederick, of Der
mark, and later robbed the countr
of two provinces that gave German
. an opportunity to become navs
power. Murder is dirty work, bu
!, it takes Hohenzollern to max
, away and get by.
, Your opportunity was at hand
you set the world on fire and bel
of hell were ringing; your rape o
Belgium caused much joy, it was tn
. beginning, the foundation Of a pei