Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-16
0RDs ND
DlScORDs

\ ~4ONOM
1T is announced that the govern
ment will enforce all days designated
in connection with the national con-
servation program. An old subscriber
asks if he might suggest that a pay
less day be included and that 1t be
the first of every month. He says 1t
would be a great help to him and to
others who would have larger bank |
accounts when the war is over If the |
would be so considerate
as to prohibit mailing of monthly bills.
Also it would cause large saving IN !
white paper. The collectors, he sug-
gests, could be put at work keeping
the sidewalks clear of snow.
MEN should exercise extreme care
when passing out their personal cards
to newly made acquaintance. A Rock
Islander of some prominence the other
day was introduced to a man with
whom he expected to grow on init
mate social terms. After they had
shaken hands the former passed over
one of his cards. 1t bore the name
and address of Chicago beauty spe-
cialist. What do you know about
that?" he said. MY wife must have
showed that card into my pocket. She
was in the city few weeks ago, and
l suppose she called on one of those
beauty fixers to have her hair done.
In fact l know she did, because we
were to attend a show that night, and
she remarked that her hair was a
fright" The story he told may have
been based on truth, but the one to
whom he related it didn't believe him.
PICKPOCKETS are reported to be
plying their trade on the streets of
Rock Island during the cold spell.
Likely they take it for granted that
an intended victim is so benumbed by
the cold that he will not feel the ma
neuverings of the professional hand.
BEFORE BULLETIN BOARD.
81 see the Huns are near collapse"
Where's that burg-in France or
Belgium"
GUSTAVE Deppe, former editor of
the Rockford Germania, has been in
termed for the period of the war as
an enemy alien. Many say his name
should be spelled Dippe.
WE have been asked to page Doc
Cook and Pat Grove. The doc, we
understand, has retired in favor of
the war, but will break forth just as
soon as the mess on the other side is
settled. Brother Grove possibly has
been delayed by snow drifts from
reaching his destination. He left Rock
Island headed for Washington.
DRY TOWN DRIyEL.
Meatless, wheatless, sweetless grub,
All because of the darned old sub.
Lightless. cheerless, dreamless nights,
Some of our homes are surely frights.
Sockless, coatless, seatless duds,
We can't buy soap enough for suds.
| But we will count all this but fun,
If the Samn1ies get Wilhelm on the
| run.
e. C. X.
! IF the Germans and Russians insist
on going ahead with their peace dis
cussions it might not be bad idea for
them to switch their base of opera
tons to Wrangle island. It's cold
enough there, too, to prevent any of
the boys becoming overheated during
their arguments.
YOU newspaper fellows are not
called upon to answer all of the i'm
possible questions" remarked f. H.
Plummer, passenger agent for the
Rock Island road. "a woman called
me at my home the other night and
said she wished to take the midnight
train for Chicago. 1t was showing to
beat the band. l told her the train
had been annulled. But she was in
sistent that she leave that night. !
told her l was sorry that l could not
provide her accommodations, but that
the situation had gone beyond me
Then she asked when she could get
away for Chicago. ! told her that ii
was hardly likely that our people
would attempt to resume service until
the heavy fall of snow had subsidized
If that's the case she answered, then
| likely you can inform me when it's
going to stop showing"
IN Detroit the shortage of coal is
laid to low necks in report of the
health officer, DR.. James W. Inches
A reader asks if the doc has been
measuring the necks.
| FASTENERS are to ask President
Wilson to declare Monday a legal hol-
iday as a means of conserving coal
Then when will We do our washing.
! THERE is always something to be
thankful for. You don't have to worry
these mornings whether the icemar
is to reach your home at the usua
hour.
t YOU don't hear much complaint Of
crowding in the street cars these days
1t feels right comfortable for a skinny
shivering person to get wedged ir
between couple of warm fat folk
WHY not send the Irish delegates
to Prince Patrick island and let then
fight out their governmental dispute
there?, inquiries Ignatz.
| WAS one Of your New Year reso
lutions to the effect that you would
never kick on the weather, whethe,