The Washington herald., 1918-06-25

sturner wss toe Stern.
John sterner was walking along K
street Sunday afternoon, eating some
beans out Of q can.
A woman came running in the op-
'rosite direction. She ran plump into
John and made him spiii the beans
and cut himself on the edge Of the
can. =,
John got mad. He ran after the
woman. 80 did several others They
were after the woman because she
had upset perfectly good bottle Of
whisky to spite her lover.
John could run faster than the rest
Of the bunch. and he caught the nee
Ing woman. =
He recognized her a. Frances Tur-
ner, who worked a. q waitress In
Greek lunchroom.
i why 70 you spill NAH beans an
cut nah hand?" John demanded.
"Yo damn beans ~ rotten, emmy
how" snapped Frances. En- besides.
20 cut 20 own hand. An u glad 70
did"
John drew back ana let Frances
have one right across the mouth.
Frances was about to say something
else at the time and she bit down on
Johns cut fingers.
He kicked her all over the .stfeet.
A cop came mp In time to see the rest
of the pursuers pull John away from
the woman.
I'VE can't have this sort of busi-
ness on the street." said the court
to John, as It fined him s25.
. Philips Newspaper Religion.
After he had gone out and
bought every Sunday. paper he
could ind, Philip Stevens sat him
self down in his kitchen to read
them.
He was reading about the Italian
victories, when George Miller and
his girl. Izetta Fox, came in.
George and his girl tried to get
Philip to come along to church
with them, but he refused.
what makes 20 sich q heather.
Philip" asked Izetta "Doncha
eber go to churchT'
I'D sooner be a heather den q
dam mypercrit." retorted Philip.
mo 'scuse for dat kind Nv talk"
said George angrily.
"Ef 20 doan lax it. 20 knows wot
yo kin do" said Philip. becoming
trifie peeved himself.
Izetta tried to get George to come
on out Of the kitchen. But he re-
fused.
He dared Philip to come outside.
Philip came and then the fight
started.
"why didn't you go to church, in
stead of fighting?" the court asked
both of them when they were ar
raigned for disorderly conduct.
But they didn't answer. They sat
and looked at one another.
Pay a. fine of IS EACH" said the
court.
Hats on to Matilda.
There are some very tender-hearted
people in this world.
FTIUstGnCc, Sophronia Bell She got
stabbed in the back the other day. and
now she feels sorry for the woman
who did 1t.
OF course. that is sophronIa's busi-
ness and not ours.
Marie Harper. the woman in the
case, has suspected Sophronia Of flirt-
ing with her husband.
Without taking time to investigate
and see whether her suspicious were
AOhAluGu VI OlhCE"lSCS
sneaked up on Sophronia, pulled q
knife and zIp-p. stuck her with It.
Sophronia has been taking hospital
treatment for some time. She has
enough stitches in her back to make a
dress.
And yet she has no hard feelings
against Marie. The two girls are
friends again. .--
Girls like Sophronia are so scarce
nowadays. We just have to take our
hat off to her.
When TIE case was called. Sophronia
told Judge Multowpy that she didn't
want MTr.e punished.
Usually in such cases, the govern
ment takes a hand and insists on the
offender being punished, whether the
prosecuting witness does or not.
But Sophronia was fnsistent, and SO
the court sentence Marie to six
months, and suspended sentence.
Oh, You Henry.
At half past 10 o'clock Sunday
night. Policeman Dulin saw a drunk
leaning against a lamppost at Fiji
teenth and II streets northeast.
Going up to the man, Dulin ask
ed him who re was. The drunk
Strengthened a little.
'Oh, Imsh jes' one of the two mil
hon Henry Browns in thish broad
United States" he slobbered. '"Thash
allsh"
Well" said Dulin, you can yet
distinguish yourself. You will be
the only Henry Brown we have in
the lookup. Come along"
Henry went. when they got him
to the station house. they search
ed him and found a loaded pistol.
What's the idea of the gun"
asked Dulin. Gonna kill someone?"
'Nozzer" answered Henry. Got
thash gun to shoot snakes with.
Dam things alwaysh bodder me
when I git full"
1t is nearly always a drunk that
gets caught with a loaded pistol.
Seldom does a sober man, unless he
shoots his mouth OF too much, get
caught with one.
1t has been said any number of
times that whisky and gunpowder
is a very dangerous combination.
Consequently something has got
to be done to these fellows who
tote whisky and guns at the same
time. The Court fined Henry SI95