davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
TOO WEAK
 TO FIGHT

The Comeback" man was really never down-and-out. His weakened condition because of overwork, lack of exercise, inn proper eating and living demands stimula- tion to satisfy the cry for health-giying appetite and the refreshing sleep essential to strength. GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules, the National Remedy of Holland, will do the work. They are wonderful. Three of these capsules each day will put . man on his feet before he knows it; whether his trouble comes from uric acid poisoning, the kidneys, gravel or stone in the bladder, stomach dersngemeat or other ailments that befall the ever-2ealeus Amer ican. The best known, most reliable rem edy for these troubles Is GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules. This remedy has stood the test for more than 200 years since its discovery in the ancient labora- tories in Holland It acts directly and gives relief at once. Don't wait until you are entirely down-and- out, but take them today. Your druggist will gladly refund your money if they do not help you. Ac- cept no substitutes. Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on every box. three sizes: They are the pure, original, imported Haarlem Oil Gapsules.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Some Memory.

You seem to recollect matters that occurred 20 years ago. said counsel for the defendant, sneeringly at m ad- verse witness on examination. Gan you remember as distinctly any other trifling circumstances that oc- cured at the same time?"
 "Oh, yes," was the response. II re- member that you dressed very shab- billy at that time and your shirt was visible through the seat of your brooches. and my father loaned your father $50 to buy you suit of clothes so that you could appear deeently clad for admission to the bar. And also remember that neither you nor your father ever returned the money. But then S30 was not trifiing eireum- stance. It was $50 circumstanee.'- New York Times.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Undersea Pipe Line for Oil.

Tank steamers are loaded with oil on the Mexican coast by means of un- dersea pipes, sometimes over . mile long. The record is broken by two lines each two and one-half miles long. recently installed about seventy miles south of Tamnico. This method of load ing is made necessary by the character of the coast in the vicinity of the oil fields. There are no harborS deep enough to accommodate tank vessels, and the water alongshore is shallow for mile or more out to sea. The oil pipes lie on the sea bottom and con neetion is made with the tank ship at the outer end hy means of flexible metal hose. The line is fully connect ed on shore and is then toWed out to sea by a tug.-Literary Digest.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
sv---A As IIOlvI < 2A 42eF sze-z L. TOWN :. }: 5'' |dI:. |, pES!z
PLEA FOR VINES AND SHRUBS
Undoubtedly Render Roads More A'- tractive and Also Tend to Keep
 Down the Dust.

Fortunately we have in this country examples of well-kept parkWats anu bo1leyards which border cultivated lands. Their ample parking is grown in prass and emBelIished with hefRa- eeeus flowers. shrubs, and trees. 1et the farm lands they border are neither overwhelmed by weeds nor deVastatea by insects and rodents.
 The question of roadsides pfopaSdl- ing vast numbers ef noNiaHs HeeQs may be viewed in more than one light. For instance, the moving of =~aEstdeS for long series of years has not dohe away with the need of cultlYatlhs crops. indeed it cannot, for culllNa= ton is necessary for other reasons 1as ioosenfng, aeration and water =eehsef= yation) than the destruction of weeds. Furthermore, the amount of eulilHa- ton customarily given crops x sun cfent to control all the weeds the Iaha will grow. and this number Is geaefaity present despite the raging of road- side er0wths. On the other hahd5 the lack of verdare and shade and the general dreariness of readsides make it very desirable that different tfeat- ment of these most extensive pQDlle parkings be adopted. Placing vines upon fences and planting numerous shrubs and shade trees along the way will not only render the roads more attractive but will tend to keep down the dust.-Exehange
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Disastrous Shot.

Miss Adelaide Rodriguez of New York holds the record for the oddest shot ever made on the Shenecossett links.
 While she was soiourning there prior to sailing for France to take up Red Cross work Miss Rodriguez played q long mashie shot to the twelfth green and her ball, sailing true. took the pipe out of the mouth of an Italian labore1 who happened to be in the line of play The pipe was shattered and so satis fled was the workman to get away without physical injury that ht wouldn't consider payment for the "buSted dudeen.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

No matter what a1tS your child, gentle, thorough laxative should al- ways be the first treatment given.
 If your little one is out of sorts, half-sick, isn't resting, eating and act ing naturally-look, Mother! see if tongue is coated. This is Il sure sign that the little stomach, liver and bow els are clogged with waste. When cross, irritable, feverish, stomach sour, breath bad or has stemaeh-aehe, diar- rhea, sore throat, full of cold, give a teaspoonful of "Galifornia Syrup of Figs" and in q few hours all the con- stipated poison, undigested food and sour bile gently moves out of the lit tie bowels without gripping, and you have well. playful child again.
 Mothers can rest easy after giving this harmless fruit laxative" because it never fails to cleanse the little ones liver and bowels and sweeten the stom- ach and they dearly love its pleasant taste. Full directions for babies, ehil- dren of all ages and for grown-ups printed on each bottle.
 Beware of counterfeit fig syrups. Ask your druggist for bottle of Cal ifornia Syrup of Figs" then see that it is made by the California Fig Syrup Company Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
DEMANDS SKILL AND DARING
"Ground Flying" the Most Dangerous Feat Which Air Fighters Are
 Called Upon to Perform

Ground flying" is perhaps the most exciting of all the aerial tactics in which the British airmen are instruct ing their American pupils in northern France. II demands high eombina- tion of skill and daring but it is a game in which the British have during the past year won marked superior fly over Germans.
 The training of ground flying" pi- lots is particularly thorough, and in- cludes much necessary practice In leaping hills, trees and telegraph poles, etc, in q manner which promptly leads the uninformed spectator to con- demn the airman as reckless fool.
 But failing this parctice the pilot would never acquire the skill and con fdence necessary for this highly spe- cialized type of work. The machines used are fast and difficult to fly, and operating so close to the ground the pilot knows that he has literally no more margin for indecsion or hesitat- ing than he has in actual aerial com bat.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

The Universal shipyard at Hous- 1T, Tex, has a woman oalsum spin Ter who works nine hours every day.
 Women employed on Maryland farms are paid Ut the rate of S15 per month and their board.
 Oddly enough, the first artificial eyes were not made for living per sons. but for the dead Tn the days Of the earliest Pbaraohs the Egyptian emhalmers removed the eyes, poured plaster or wax into the sockets and set in the latter eyes of volcanic glass CT some precious stones of one kind or another.
 \ new type of pliers for the use of electricians has the handles covered with insulating compound of such a character that it is semisoft, not hard. Therefore, the insulation will not crack or break when dropped or struck on a hard surface.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

headaches disappeared. l gained in weight and feel fine, so l can honestly recommend Lydia D. Pinkham's Vege- table Compound to any woman who ia suffering as was. '- Mrs. ADELINE B. LYNCH. 100 Plain St, Providence, R. I.
 Raekaehe and nervousness are symp- toms or natures warnings, which in- dieate functional disturbance or an unhealthy condition which often devel- ops into more serious ailment.
 Women in this condition should not continue to drag along without help, but profit by Mrs. Lynch,s experience, and try this famous root and herb remedy, Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Gom- pound-and for special advice write to Lydia F. Pinkham Med. Co.,, Lynn, Mess.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
nncTcrpiD1c

Striking Wexford fIreland1 engi- neers refused to comply with the re quest of the ministry of labor that they return to work.
 Barristers' wigs first came into vogue ahent 200 years ago. Up to the end of the seventeenth century judges and sergeants.at-arms alone had any distinctive dress. Under Queen Anne tle queens counselor adopted the court dress and silk gown which made ID the mourning of the period, togeth- CT with the full-bottomed wig then usually worn by all persons of posi- ton.
 The largest nations still neutral are Norway. Denmark, Sweden, Holland, Spain, Chile. Argentina and Mexico. About three-fourths of the world is at war.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
About milestnnes.

Most people imagine milestones to be quite ancient institutions. They are not so really. The first mile stones to ne erected in England were set up on the Cambridge road between Parkway and Cambridge in f727. and 1t was not until 10 years later that their Use became at all general. True there are two "milestones." so called. that bear the date 170o, still standing -one at Tadeaster, and the other near Wilmington. Herefordshire. But those do not give the distances to the places graven upon them. being. in effect. therefore. merely stone sigH- posts.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
ACCORDING TO THEIR LIGHTS
savages Ruled by Customs and cere- monies as UnaIterable as Are Be-
 iiefs of the West.

If life i'll the New Hebrides can be Itive instinct, it is none the less gov erned by an elaborate ritual of tribal ceremony, by the powerful influence of taboo, by customs as rigid and impreg- nabfe as the towering forest fastness. That the old are buried alive is as right and orderly to the truculent sav- age as that night follows day. or that a warrior dies by the hand of his enemy If he does not first speed his own ar row. Against this barrier of dark faiths and unprobed certainties. the wanderer from the West. with his trou- bled vision and ever-restless feet, throws up for himself but q fiimsy counter-illusion of civilization. Let his trading schooners make their perilous voyages through the channels, darting in and out of the nameless, land-l0eked harbors. Let him spread his net of eommereialism Let him take away pearls, tortoise shell, heche de mer, copra, sandalWood, or perhaps q hu man cargo destined for the great labor markets East and West, leaving in their place the cheap product of fac tories. or. better still. secretly, guns and ammunition. The chances are that one day his fate will find him out And if the time should come when he re turns no more 10 that same civiliza ton which betrayed him in an ultimate need to the savages of an obscure island whose only costume is neck lace, his death will merely cancel an outstanding aeeeunt.-Gertrude Finer son in Asia Magazine.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Getting Into Print.

"Of course I'm not seeking publicity, riety."
 "Then. why did you grant me such a lengthy interview? I have notes enough for more than a column"
 "Well-er-ean't you convey the im- pression to the public that consented to talk with the greatest reluctance?" Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Sueaestion or Patches.

All men who are wearing their pants on win-thewar schedule must be careful that the attritive pressure he distributed So that the two rear patch es may become necessary simultane- ously. A new patch with a worn com panion patch is not slightly and Is not Indicative of even and symmetrical war service.-IIouston Post.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
EFFECTIVE USE OF CONCRETE
Cincinnati Engineers "camoutlaeed' Water Tanks That Otherwise
 Would Have Been Blemish.

The citizens as well as the engineers of Cincinnati, O., were troubled at the prospect of disfguring beautiful residential section of the city with five 1o0-foot water tanks. and many plans were presented for making them less unsightly. The one chosen for architectural effect was shell of con
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
British Food ReaulatIons.

When the British housewife buys sugar she hands Mir. Groeeryman all orauge-color page. If she buys lard, margarine. butter or other fats, she offers blue page. And there are four red pages in the new ration book, for meat and bacon. Boys and girls under six years of age have their own ration book. It's color is green, while the seven-Nearsolds carry white ra- tion book and get as much to eat as .trnkNn.1n folk.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

q | ic HI uC h ached all the time.
 was tired and had no ambition for any, thing. had taken a number of medi- eines which did me no good. One day I read about Lydia E. Pinkham's s Yege- bleCompoundand what 1t had done for women, so 1 tried it. My nervousness and backache and
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Alaska,s Varied ownershins.

Russia owned Alaska by the right of discovery in 1741 and subsequent occupation of it. In 1749 she granted fl to an American fur company and in 1867, the fur eompany's charter hav- ing expired she sold it to the United States for S7,s00.00o.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
A Valuable Edqe.

Sir" began the suave individual who deals in mining stock certificates. 'g should like to interest you in lit tie gilt-edge investment ;
 Take it away" groaned the prospec- tive victim, "the gift on the edge is probably the most valuable part of f45s
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Hml=ats 4o Saw

\ woman who has an aviator son, John, in France also has younger son. who wrote to her while she was away visiting: Dear Mother: Am writing John today He has lots to say but can't say it. I can say all I want to but haven't anything to say. Your loving son
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

If you paid Specialist $500 for a Prescription. yeu would not get any thing that would give quicker relief for Group, Colds, Catarrh, or Sore Throat, than Vacher-Balm. which only costs 25c. Beware of imitations.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Cuticura Beauty Doctor

For cleansing and beautifying the skin. hands and hair. Cutieura Soap and Ointment afford the most effective preparations. For free samples ad- dress, "Cutieura. Dept. x, Boston" At druggists and by mail. Soap 9, Oint- ment % and 50-Ady.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Ruinous

Aliee-You were foolish to get an- gry with Edith just because she kept you waiting.
 Tom-Rut, Great Scott. I was wait Ing for her with taxii
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

Don't blame the hen if the egg is bad, It was all right when her re- sponsibility ended
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

The Huns have habit of stealing from churches in the districts they occupy all the sacred silyerware and brass. Here are some of the treas ures they had collected but were forced to leave behind in their hurried re- treat before the allies in France.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
One Better.

i've got fireIess cooker in my house."
 s'I'H go you one better. I've q smoke less husband h mine"
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
 Dancers of Delay.
'Thfnk

Think before you speak,
 "Yes. And while you're thinking some one else jumps up and gets the foor.n
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

It's awfuily hard on some mems eyes when they look for perfection in themselves.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
Tr4ina Hard.

"Win that pair of lovers get their to,nl resolution through the houseF "WeH. I notice they've got to the expressing stage
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

United States may tax mules and donkeys.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18
HOW ID AVOID bhGKACHE: AND
 NERVOUSNESS
Told by Mrs. Lynch From
 Own Experience.

proyiaence. R. I.-"I was ali run down in health, was nervous, had head
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

The egg that can't be beat isn't as good as it might be.
The Monticellonian., 1918-10-18

When Baby Is Teefhinr GROVES BABf BuW EI4 MEDICINE will correct the Stomach and Eoxei 4runhles. Perfectly harm less. See directions on the bottle.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-12-19
Virginia

The "flu" seems to be at it's worst
in our community Just now, but it is
hoped that it will soon be abated
Most OF the school children seem
eager to re-entcr school, though all
are gladly willing to wait until after
Christmas.
Sam Malone returned home last
week from Starksviffe, Missippi,
where he has been stationed as me
chanic. Several other of the boys are
G expected home soon with release
from training and service.
Thos. Grimsley's family. Miss
Emma Pahlman, Mr.. and Mrs. Grant
Oldham and children and Joe Albin
are the new cases of FLU" since our
last weeks report.
lie Roy, the infant son of Mr.. and
Mrs. ]. A. Grimsley, died Sunday
night of compilations following. in
fl,enza. Burial was made Tuesday
in the Benjamin cemetery. =. s..
III A. 'Barfon's new BARN looms UP
nicely since the erection has been
completed. Will Lingenfelter is haul
ing material preparatory to building
a new barn in the near future.
Friends of Miss Edna Odneal,
teacher at Grand View school. have
been saddened by her critical illness
from pneumonia following influenza.
At the latest report she was thought
to have had change tending to re-.
covery. Her sister. Helen, has also
been seriously i'll with the same NAL
ady.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clyde Robbins are
preparations toward moving
back to Butler within the next few
days. Dave Keller and family from
Foster will move to- Mr.. Robbins
farm
Mrs. Gertrude Walker has succeed
ed Mrs Ollie Il. Greenup as presi-
dent of the Virginia W. c. T. u.
The union feels keen loss in Mrs.
Greeup's moving from our vicinity,
but this should mean renewed efforts
on our part to continue carrying on
this work. :. /
The league topic for next Sunday
is, peace on Earth" Luke 2:8-I4.
Mrs. Sam Malone is scheduled as
leader for this service.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-12-19

ion that there's nothing IN name,
just can't help hopin' that he don't
fall down" and go to pieces while on
the Job. :
What has become of the old fash
ioned cradle that mothers used to
rock the Babies in. Made of rough
boards. or a part of hollow log
split in half The mother would sit
and rock with her foot while she
alarned or knit or patched the fam
i!y's clothes The doctors and lord
save the mark) science stepped. in
! and said. you mustn't rock baby
! 1t may be hazardous for me to say
arght against the doctors or science
but Just the same Ill say that in the
days of the old cradle they raised
real men and women nowadays
babies are left to the care Of ser
want to be wheeled about in rub
Der tired go cart and folks (who
raise. bahies) pay more attention 20
hogs" than to baby. No wonder the
world is filling TIP with bow-legged
knock-kneed incompetents.
by golly. I'm always glad | amt
got neck as long as giraffe when
| have All attack of ''torticallis.
Don't know what torticallis is? Well
it's what is commonly known as stiff
neck.
\ doctor recommends soda for the
flu. Now just watch Dwight's Cow
Brand Saleratus jump to $2.oo a
pound Con account of the war;
"lIurr unbeaten in spirit"-(Head-
line,. Now, thatll be all right
Hun" just feel any old way you
please about it. Just so you don't 60
to singing Deutschland Uber Al
lies" around where can hear you:
Some time since apologized for
my poor education. especially gram
mar, Now, | apologize for us'n SO
much slang don't like slang.
| IN gonna quit, yes. sir, you bet
am, I've jined the "Anti-Slang
Club" | amt maxim good very fast
You see when you use a slang phrase
YOU are fined one cent for each OF
have been member only
week and 1-2 hours and ] have
been fined $I1.13" already-But you
can bet your chewing gum | am go
ing to take tumble and cut it out,
yes sir. find it useless as we'll as an
habit and mean to erad- +
catc it from my system-Fm feeln
Some better already. Just you watch
my smoke.
notice that a Niger In Kansas
If course) was struck by motor car
and slightly hurt-lnust have hit him
III the head. If it did ! bet the mo-
or car suffered internal injuries.
T'other day l was talkin to a man
who has no more sense than the law
allows and incidentally ! remarked
hat the president had been given
hrec cheers and Tiger" well,
10 by golly'. said he, what in the
am hill would he do with a Tiger
says, Hell bring it back with him
md turn it loose on the next Con-
.ress which is (mostly) republicans,
hat is if it is man eater And he I
avs, by gosh
Some one said to me, Jim, is the
world growing better or worse"
Why bless your heart, says /,
Theirs nothing wrong with this
rand old world of ours, its the peo-
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-12-19

pie. AS to whether the people are
growing better or worse. Ill no,
commit myself further than to say
that many people blame the world
when they themselves are at fault
Too many, far too many of their
pray not be led mot into temptation
and then go out looking for Temp
tation". ! think my answer gave
him food for thought"
After having read OF SO many fool
ISL prevcntives and SO called cures
for FLU" | am reminded of an ad
saw some years ago when was SUI
fering from a severe cold ('twould
be called flu-none.l 1t read like this,
Break up cold in day" Having
tried everything else Offered I decid-
ed to take a chance. laid in a sup
ply of the stuff and took it. Result?
Cater some days treatment)
found that Il" had almost entirely
disappeared. and the cold: Oh, it
was still there and dom nicely.
! dearly love to write in verse
And: (altho | am no poet)
You always find my writing terse;
My full name signed below it,
Tho in the Scar and yellow leaf
I'm not agloomy Teller:
A friend confers this title, brief,
Times" weekly gloom dispeller.
C'Fidus AchatesD
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-12-19
r.
In and Around Maysburg

Mr.. Ncaly Scranton and family Wis
tied at Mr. McCoy's Sunday.
George Wilson. who has been sick
with pneumonia. is some better.
Mrs. Hargrave is taking care of the
sick down at MIR. kedigh. Mr.. Har-
grave went to wait on one of his sis
tiers family who has the influenza and
as he had only been up short time
he has had relapse and was quite
sick, but is some better at this writ
ing.
All OF the Hiney Strobles family
have been down with the influenza,
but seem to be some better now.
Mr.. and Mrs. Simpson took Mrs,
Mccoy and son. Cecil. and daughter
Fay, to Clinton Wednesday.
Mr.. Mccoy and Mr.. Scranton were
Appleton City visitors Wednesday.
|. Mrs { lark and son, Charly. are able
to be up after round with the influ
enZa.
Cecil Mccoy and Ray Farmer were
shopping, II, ttrie} },, Saturday,
Mr. Gilbert went to Butler Wednes-
day.
: Mr.. and Mrs. Sam nutton and
daughter, Ivy Mildred, visited Mr..
buttons parents Sunday.
Albert Burlington is getting along
quite we'll with his new barn that he
is building to take the place of the
one that was burned some time ago.
Noah Wilson's butchered last Mon
little Ellen Jane M,cieny has been
quite sick but is better at this writ
ing.
Annie Myrtle Doll visited Mildred
White Monday night.
A NEIGHBOR