The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1918-10-24
A Letter From the "ClOwn Prince. :"

Dear Papa: = am writing on der
run. as der brave and glorious SOL
diers under my command hal not
seen der Rhine for SO long dat dey
hat started way und of course | am
going nit dem. Oh, pap, dere has
been some offel dings happened here
in France. First | started in my
bic offensive, which was to crush the
fool Americans, but dey know so
little about military tactics dat dey
will not be crushed just like want
dem. | sent my men in der fight
in der big wates, und ven dey got to
the Americans dey all said Boo as
loud as dev could boiler. Veil, ac-
cording to vat you hat always told
me. the Americans haf turned und
run like blazes. But vat do you
tink? Dem fool Americans don't
know ANGLING about war, und instead
of running de odder way, dey come
right towards US. Some of dem vas
singing about I'VE wont come back
till it's ofer, ofer dere; or some
odder foolish song, und some of dem
vas laffing like fool, dey are so
ignorant. But dey are ofel reckless
nit der guns, und ven dey come
towards us it vas den dat my men
took a notion dey wanted to 60 back
to de dear old Rhine. We don't
like de little dirty Marine river. any
how. Und, oh pap, dem Americans
use such offel language. Dey know
noding Of kulture, und say such offel
dings right before us. Und dey
talk blasphemy, too. Vot you dink
dey said right in front of my face?
One big husky from blaze dey call
Missouri, he said oh, papa, | hate to
tell you vat an offel ding he said but
| can t help it; he said. To hell
init der Kaiser! Did you efer hear
anyding SO offel? | didn' t tink any
pody would say such an offel ting so
| iusht turned around und run nit
de odder boys. Vas | right! Vat!
Und, oh papa, you know dem preast-
blates vot you sent us can you send
some to put on our backs: You know
We are going de odder way now, and
preastblates are no good, tor de
cowardly Americans are shooting US
right in der behind. Some OF our
bows took off der preastblates und
nut dem behind, but de fool Ameri-
cans are playing De Star Spangled
Banner nit machine guns on dem
plates. Can't you help us? You re-
member in your speech you said
noding could stand before the brave
German soldiers? Oh, papa | don t
believe desc ignorant Americans eyer
read YOUR speech, for dey run after
MS shust like We vas rabbits. Vat
Won tink of dat? Can't you send
some of your speeches right away!
| Dey don't know how terrible We is.
Can't you move my army back to
Belgium we're We Won all our glory!
Wv me can vip all de vimmins und
childrens dem Belgiums can bring US.
But desc Americans are SO rough und
ignorant, We can't make dem under
stand dat We are de greatest soldiers
on earth, und ven We dry to sing
Deutschland Ueber Allies dey laugh
like a lot Of monkeys. But We are
getting de best of de Americans. We
can outrun dem. Papa, if We are
not de best fighters on earth We are
de best runners. Nopody can keep
up nit us ven We tink of derIdear
old Rhine, und my army nefer did
tink SO much of dot dear old river.
Let me know right away vot to DIP
by return post office.
Crown Prince Willie.
This letter was published in a
newspaper in France.