davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
BUYS GLASSES FOR BULLDOG
Proud Mistress Discovers Cold Wind
Brings Tears to Pets Eyes and
Takes Him to OcuIist.

One of the newest features Of the
high cost Of living investigation by
federal agents has just been revealed
by United States District Attorney
Cline of Chicago. He told the follow
Ing story:
II dropped into an oculist's a couple
Of days ago with friend who had
broken his glasses. We found that
gentleman, Immediately clad, care
fully fitting pair Of glasses on the
pug nose Of a bulldog with undershOt
Jaw and handy legs.
well. we had to wait. A lady, in
handsome furs. held the bulldog by the
chain. When the Job was done she led
It away. I asked the oculist:
"sHow do you test tile vision Of q
dogs eyesY He replied: I didn't test
1t for vision. You see it was like this
the lady had her dog out motoring.
They were riding rather fast and the
air was cold.
"'She noticed that little drop Of
moisture gathered in the dogs eye. II
trickled down his cheek. The lady de-
cided that something must be done. So
she brought him to me-the glasses
are to protect his eyes when he goes
motoring
SLOW much did she pay for those
glassesr ! asked.
"'Eight dollars the oculist replied"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Germany Short Of Food.

The real food situation In Germany
u the important puzzle Of the war.
The United States food administration
has got hold Of some figures on the
standard German ration for noncom-
batants, which seem to indicate that
the Teutons are In desperate straits.
Figured in calories, the food value Of
this ration Is only 10000. This 10 not
sufficient nourishment to keep Z man
Of 40 pounds from losing weight
steadily, even II he does nothing but
lie on his back for "a hours a day. II
he has work to do, he will eat up his
fat and then his muscular tissue, so
much the faster. If the figures re-
ceived by the food administration are
correct and are not supplemented by
other rations not mentioned, the civil.
ian population Of Germany must inev-
ltably be weakening fast.-Exchange
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
OutsiGs tins House.

How 'nan.' rca i-fai homes gu which
noncy HIS bean spent iavish!y to make
hem ooiCpf'te sic E&i.ed pe suiae de-
'ect III tie landscape WAX. 4 few
aoitrs' motor trip through the suburb
II almost any city i'll the country Wi.
reveal many such caSes TIL. most fse
1uent jar the trained eye receives j.
from the poorly laid out walks ans.
driveways in which badly arranSes
curves are used cr walks made to cus.v..
around an oval grass plot placed in tic
center for no other reason than I.
make pedestrians take time to cirel
about that particular grass plot Post
men. messenger boys and others tak.
a short cut, aud soon a path In II.
proper direction Is worn across the sd
When q curve is used in walk o.
driveway there should be reason for
It. II there IL no other reason plant
one: place tree or two CT shrubs IN a
position so the curve will seem neces-
sary, People then will keep en- the
walk. and the plan Will seem reason
able.-New York Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Faflah Rookh. oeneena.,.


Is the wAf holding bGck e65 poem
euuparabls With 'Tallah Roohh," the
publication a which was delayed by
the Waterloo campaign, and took place
Just csntuty agof
Perhaps few read the famous Or
entail romancs nowadays, but Moorsp
reputation when he wrote it was such
that he was able to sell Il when he
had scarce put pen to paper. Murray
offered 2,000 guiueaS for Il. but he
poets friends thought this 10 little.
and approached Lonsman. seipulatins
that the price should be mot less than
the largest amount ever paid for .
poem" THAT" said Longman, was
the 5000 paid Tor sRokeby,'" and on
that basis q bargain was struck the
publishers only stipulation being that
Moore's poem should b equal to
SCOTS TN length. Even %. Longman
had the best Of the bargain. Seven
large editions were sold within Z ysa1,
and quarter Of . century latR tene
mans still regarded 'EAlldh Roohhr q
The cream = eaHiG DfaasAaei
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
MAJORITY OF us ARE BoREs
Many People Give Preference to Die.
oNsslon Of Own Affairs Rather
Than to Other Fellows.

3Aq Irish World gives the first tess
a . bore, presumably for readers to
try on themselves, in these words:
Do you monopolize the conversation
wherever you 60 with breathless &C
counts Of your own affairs2 00
n let alone long enough the major
IN ,of us do. Our own affairs are so
mueAs more interesting than the other
perpn's. Il takes some wisdom and
Considerable culture to subordinate the
I'll. p9
Under this definition, the baby Ii
sometimes q bore, but we forgive him
for we know that he has neither the
wisdom nor the culture to set his Ut
10 self to one side. It should not be
expected Of him.
But there is about the baby none OF
the subtle deceitfulness Of the old.
practiced bore who deity turns the
conversation to his own exploits and
affairs. Baby simply takes OF the
muller from his personal self. The
sntire households attention turns at
once to his affairs. He monopolizes the
conversation with his breathless &C
count Of his hunger or of his connec'
ton with the open safety pin-and
that II all there Is to 1t.
The growing child frankly finds HIM
self the most interesting person In the
world, and we forgive him to some ex-
tent and attempt to show him that he
must conceal his personal liking for
himself. Some Of US may recall the
story Of the little boy who had been q
, delighted listener while his mother "a
real bore) told the neighbors Of his
cute little manners and ways. When
she branched of to some other sub
3ect, the little boy listened while IN
manifest uneasiness till the converse
tton Jagged the merest trife. Then
b broke tn with bis perfectly natural
request:
"Say, ma, let's talk some more about
ne,"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
HIGH COST IN WASHINGTON
Houses and Apartments Rent at Fab
ulous Prlces-one Woman Prom
ises Ordinary Wear and Tear.

Two women sat at local theater
the other night. They were dressed
eft to KILL" in the good old Hoosiex
idiom, and wore diamonds galore,
writes Charles E. Tracewell in Wash
ington Star.
They were talking about the subject
OF rents, topic of absorbing interest
In Washington just now, when house
or apartment Of any kind is difficult
to obtain for love or money.
It has been a matter of gossip that
many wealthy people have come to
Washington recently, and that many
Of these have rented furnished houses
and apartments at fabulous rates.
The two women at the theater were
discussing this very thing. What was
more, one of them was one Of those
wealthy ones in question, judging from
what she said.
"You know. my DEAR" she was say
ing to the other, II won't say I'm go
ing to use an az, but"-she smiled
signiasAntly-"when my lease is over"
and she smiled again-"wefl, there
is going to be some ordinary wear and
tear, my dear, there is going to b
some ordinary wear and tear"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Strict Prohibition Law.

Under the act Of congress organic
Ing the territory Of Alaska, the legls-
lature meets every two years. 1t did
not meet IN 1915, but the legislature Of
1915 passed law providing for pop
ular vote on the liquor question in No.
vember, 1915. At that election the
people voted by large majority that
from and after January /, 1918, spir-
itous liquors should not be manufac-
tured, sold, transported or given away
anywhere within the territory. The
prohibition law thus to be established
by popular vote, notes an exchange,
probably will be the most stringent Of
any In the United States.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
BOARD HOLDS Mo MEETINGS
President Decides All Questions for
| Members, but Never Calls Them
In for q Conference.

] There Is no more familiar title
among government departments than
the board Of trade. 1t seems to be rea
sponsible for all kinds Of things and
all sorts Of undertakings end happen,
ings. It will find you chairwonan or
negotiate a commercial treaty. It con,
sists Of a president and large numl
Der Of members amoug whom are
reckoned the Archbishop Of Canter-
bury and the speaker Of the house OF
commons, q writer in London Tit-Bits
states.
By law these members have right
to be called to discuss questions ct
trade and to help the president to shape
his policy, yet the fact remains no meet
ings are ever held! The president
never dreams Of calling his committee
together. He does much as he likes,
comes to his own decisions, and then
announces that "the board thinks so
and So"
One wonders what would happen II
the archbishop or some other member
were to insist upon being consulted,
this this surprising method of doing
business should cease.
The board Of trade does not stand
alone. Every school-teacher In the
land knows that my lords" say this
and '.my lords" rule that. Their full
title is "the lords of the committee OF
the privy council of education;" but
they never meet, and the vice presi-
dent would probably be puzzled to
name a half-dozen of them. Mr.. Fish
er and his predecessors rule without
my lords" but in their name. Thus
do they get credit for the good they
do and are a refuge in the day OF
storm.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
snubbed The Composer.

: Gustav Mailer. had 4 queer expert
ence In Munich one day for which his
name was partly responsible. His new
symphony was being rehearsed, and h.
took advantage Of an hours intermis
sion to get some fresh air, .a.On return
ing to the building" says a Munich pa
per, "he lost his way and tried I,
reach the hall through corridor II
which plasterers were at work. 20,
cannot pass through here he was told
But am Mailer (Mahler is the Ger
man for painter.) You look it, VII.
the unsympathetic reply of the MAJ
who blocked, his way. We are no
ready for the painters yet, so run on
And the composer, realizing that argu
ment would be useless, plunged int'
the labyrinth and finally reached BIZ
destination"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Matter Of Taste.

Now comes leaned man, . doctor
who says there Is no reason on eartt
why people should not eat bugs Well
this is a free country, doc, and jus
to show you that our heart: Is righ'
we hereby notify you that you art
Welcome to our share Of potato bug:
ind buffalo moths II the per capita sup
bly, does not satisfy your appetite
P. S.-Would you advise eating then
with sugar and erea n or salt and vine
gar7COhio State Journal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Our Other Selves.

7 The old Hebrew sage declared,
.fWis1em cemeth from the opportunity
- leisure" Il does not meah that a
N4Do naA must belong to what we call
d leisure ea1ges. It means that If
- has Only . little free time at his
Disposal. he must use that time for the
rsfreshment Of his hidden selves, says
q 4. Cfo0ers h the Atlantic. II he
eannet hive 3 sGbbath rest of twenty.
tout houfA b must learn to sanctify
1ttls Aabbaths. n may be Of ten min
hts1 length In them he shall do no
manner d work. It is not enough that
the self that works and receives wages
shau b recognized and protected; the
Hosld must b maae safe for our other
oeavea Does not the Declaration Of
lp1spsndenee say that every man has
% inalienable Et0ht to the pursu1t .
1GDpinsasl 49,,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Camera Lenses Wanted,

The United States signal corps has
issued an appeal to the owners Of all
high-grade cameras. The signal corps
needs the lenses Of their machines for
war work. 1t Is known that the Unit.
ed States bureau of standards has
solved the problem Of manufacturing
high-grade optical glass for aircraft
camera lenses, but apparently they
cannot be produced In quantity fast
enough to equip our fleet Of airplanes.
The United States has always been
great field for amateur photographers,
and there are large number Of high
grade European.made lenses scattered
about the country. These lenses the
signal corps wants to buy. Long To-
Gus lenses working at large apertures
are the only kind which can be used.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Mote and Beam.

Gen, George w. Goethals was lunch
Ing in New York recently with a man
who complained about his brothers
extravaganza.
'His latest extravaganza Is horses"
said the complainant. HE bought
pair Of coach horses last week for
5000" 5-.4r
"Humph!" said General Cocktails.
''What did you pay for your touring
cart" ---
"Er-ten thousand dollars"
SWELL" said the general, don't crit
icize the team in your brothers eye
till you've cast the motor out of your
own"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Eyes Made Of Rubber,

Everybody knows that eyes were
made to rubber. Very few know that
eyes are now being made Of rubber.
This Is one of the million results Of the
war, notes correspondent.
Glass eyes are always more or less
uncomfortable, and frequently insight
ly, and it is interesting, therefore
when the deformites Of war are so
serious subject Of consideration, to
learn that two French workers, Nine.
Lemaitre and Teuillieres, have evolved
an entirely new method Of replacing a
lost eye. By the use Of combination
Of hard and soft rubber substance
they have achieved their aim and are
producing an eye that looks well and
feels well.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Assist Young to Stay.

There 10 no panacea that will cure
the yearning for city life evidenced by
the country boys and girls Of today,
but there are certain conditions which
Il established will add materially to
the attractiveness Of life in the coun-
ry. and should therefore prevent them
rom hocking to the cities merely to
1void life on the farm.
It Is not to be expected that every
person reared on q farm will desire to
follow farming as life work. nor is
It necessarily desirable that all shoula
10 30. Many Of the boys will feel q
calling to one or another of the pro
LESSONS, and II IL probable that IL a.
lowed to follow their bent, they will
be far more successful and contented
than II persuaded to stay with the
farm. The problem Is not to force
the boy or girl to remain on the farm.
but to assist them in every way IN
making an intelligent choice. Their
choice cannot possibly be intelligent
unless they are familiar with farm LIE
andeg ~ best ooodift0nA
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
WILLING to Hear.

Miss Willing" began the young
man, as he wiped the cold Precipitation
from his brow, "are you fond of sto-
ries?"
If they are new, Mr.. Woody" re-
piled the fair maid, II simply dote on
them"
But the one I was going to tell you,
Miss Willing, is not new" said the
young man. 1T is, might say, Miss
Willing-or, Clara-the old, old story,
but"
"Oh, never mind, George" she inter-
irupted. Even If it is a chestnut I'm
sure I never heard It. Go on, please! I"
@Tt-Bits.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Revolution Headquarters.

OF all Boston's early taverns none
we're Of moro historic interest and
none dispensed greater good cheer
than the Green Dragon, which stood
Until recent years when It had to be
corn down In order that the street
might be widened. The Green Dragon
was called nest Of treason" BY the
British because Of the way In which
the spirit Of liberty fourished here and
the fact that many meetings held for
the purpose Of furthering the cause Of
American Independence were held un-
der its roof. Daniel Webster called
It the headquarters Of the Rsvolu-
ton
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Tractor Has Feet and Lees,

A tractor without wheels designed
especially for dragging cultivators In
c2rnfelds. Is described by Popular Me
chanies Magazine. Instead Of wheels
1t has four legs with ski-shaped feet.
these legs having hip, knee and ankle
Joints and they take steps like these
OF an animal.
The legs are driven by q gasoline
motor. They are steered around cor
ners By making those on one side
taks longer steps than those on the
other and reversing Is accomplished
By tfaRaferring the knee-caps from the
trent ID the back of the joints.
The machine can straddle a row Of
sixs40ot corn without touching the
stalks.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Art and Nature,

Art is the revelation Of man, and
not merely that, but likewise the reve-
lation OF nature speaking through man.
Art pre-exists In nature, and nature Il
reproduced in art. As yapors from
the ocean floating landward and dis
solved in rain are carried back in nv
ers to the ocean, so thoughts and the
semblances Of things that fall upon the
soul of man in showers flow out again
In living streams Of art and lose them
selves in the great ocean, which = ma
ture. Art and nature are not, then,
discordant. but ever hafmaniously
working in each other.-Longfellow'S
Hyperion"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
FIavIne n AntIseptle F.IIa

Flavine, or acriflavine, which has re-
Gently been called the ideal antiseptic
for use in wounds, is unequiyocally
condemned by Lieut.. Alexander Elem.
ing Of the British Army Medical corps.
after series Of experiments with its
effect upon his own blood, upon mi
crobes and upon pus. The Lancet pub
fishes his experiments in detail. and
his conclusions are that strong solu.
tons Of flavine have a more destruc
dive action on the blood than on the
microbes, and that weak solutions
have no sntiseptic effect worth men.
ti0A1nG.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18

Where Are the Germans, Mammal
Mpthef's fOureyear-old is very much
interested IN the war. He often hears
his 4tAer reading the war news.
Whit Is 4 fofts~ he asked his man
ma, recently.
There is one near the city" ths
mother said. "I'1l take you out there
some day" and she kept her word.
When the four-year-old had seen ths
buildings and the soldiers drilling. and
mother had explained to him the OBJ
sect Of the training, the little lad
asked:
But where are the Germans man
0ar-Indianapolis News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
John Bunyan's Indictment.

The bill Of indictment preferred
against John Bunyan ran thus: John
Bunyen hath devilishly and pernicious.
iy abstaincd from coming to church to
hear divine service and Is common
lpholder Of several unlawful meetings
and conventicles, to the disturbance
nd distraction Of the good subjects Of
his kingdom. contrary to the laws Of
lur sovereign lord the king" He was
onvicted and imprisoned twelve years
md six months.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Old Folks Saved
From Suffering

Mrs. Mary A. Dean, Taunton, Mass.
IN her S7th year, says: Il thought
was beyond the reach of medicine, BIT;
Foley Kidney Pills have proven mos
beneficial in my case"
Mr.. Sam A. Hoover, High Point
n. c., writes: MY kidney trouble wa
worse at night and / had to get VI
from five to seven times. Now I de-
not have to get up at night and con.
slider myself in a truly Normal con-
ditien, which I attribute to Foley Kid
ney Pills, as I have taken nothing
else"
Mrs. II. A. Bridges, Robinson, Mass,
says: Il suffered from kidney all
ments for two years. commenced
taking Foley Kidney Pills ten months
ago, and though l am 81 years of age,
| feel like a 16-year-old girl"
Foley + Kidney Pills are tonic.
strengthening and up-building, and
restore normal action to the Kidneys
and to a disordered and painful blad-
Ter. They act quickly and contain
% dangerous or harmful drugs.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Power Of FIattery,

Wife Tin the cafe)-George, thai
byslts over there has been staring ii
me for half an hour. Somebody ought
to knock his fool head off.
George Ito stranger)-What do 20
mean, sir, by ogling my wife?
Stranger (calmly)-T1l admit that
have taken more than passing notice
Of the lady. A pretty woman with .
small foot always attracts my attsor
tion.
WIfe-Now, George, don't make Z
fool Of yourself and start q scene h
here. The gentleman evidently msanl
no harm.-Puck.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Old illustrated Book.

One Of the oldest illustrated books
II an edition Of "Aesop's Fables" pub
iished about 1471. It has initial letters
Of great interest, and upward Of 100
very curious wood cuts. The copies
which have survived the centuries are
bound in thick oak boards, covered
with stamped leather. There was q
book published In Florence only FIVE
years after the Aesop which had three
copper-plate engravings, and one Of
the most remarkable features Of the
early illustrated works is the grace and
excellent fancy Of their tail-pieces and
type and the fresh lock which the ink
hal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
shun Tips" |. You Play Stoeks

whatever you do. don't 60 1t alone,
10 the advice that Harold Rowland
gives to women investors In the Wo
mans Home Companion. "Shun thu
financial gossip of the uniformed, the
cOcksure counsel Of the Irresponsible
the glittering generalities OF the morI
insidious particularities of the con
esited ignoramus. Beware Of rumors
tips and inside information Basl
-FOUR transactions upon the frm ground
Il accurate information, sound tuds
Dant and disinterested advice. Dou'i
~ to get rich quick"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Much olI.Rearlna Country.

Nearly 30 per cent Of continental
Canada is still undiscovered, and II In
dian reports are to be believed, notes
q correspondent, there is in the basin
Of the Mackenzie river one Of the
largest areas Of possible oil-bearing
country on the face Of the earth. The
Indians report the existence Of lakes
Z hundred miles and over long in Yu-
kon that NO white man has ever seen.
while even the Indians themselves ap-
parsntly knoy. nothing Of IL - ri
!1alseol4 l9Glt nonf =
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
A Skirt haacer.

! good improvised skirt hanger Is .
'trong hatpin. Fold the skirt twice at
he band, stick the hatpin through the
Jack in two places. leaving enough Of
ne pin exposed to hang over q nail or
look. The skirt will never be pulled
ut of shape. eee ~
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Word From ,Brsr WiIIiams

once pom a time Man lost so much
'leep worryin' over trouble what wuz
come dat when Trouble come sho'
.uff de Man wuz dead ter de worl',
IN Trouble walked all over him an
aid: Hes too trifin' fer me ter fool
With. l wouldn'. waste tune on no
ich!"-Atlanta Constitution.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18

AAe CoRnv0,
they tell me Aaude Burlscks n 20.
ing to be married"
You're misinformed- Mass ,BuY,ock.
: eoins to marry the man who ID soine
10 be married. Ysur dimculty = thse
ysu don't know Miss Buryockr.-R. ~.
more News
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
Back TO Hsr Tender fsars.

Boarder-This beef u very tough
It Is evidently from an old COW. Mrs
Hashleigh-Let ME tell you, sir, thai
the tenderest beef I ever ate was from
a COW. fifteen or twenty years old
Boarder-That's easily explained. Thu
COW was so old she was childish.-Chi
cago Tribune. 49,. ---is 81
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18

Uxtral Big Mexican ssnsatieA.
Hamfat--Can't you think Of m ids9
for play IN which could score q big
hitf ~ z4f 81 $500
Playwrite-Got just the thing fos
you. old mana military play in which
~ VILLA you will win round after roun1
Of applause
uamfat-Won't do. As villa WOunG
be egged OF the stage.
R1nywrite-You've got tho 6oDs
vssoe As villa you get killed = ~
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1918-01-18
A Matter Of PrefaefinA,

Actor say, old man, / wish you'd
advance me IS and take 1t out Of my
Grst weeks salary. Manager - But,
my dear fellow, suppose 1t happened
that l couldn't pay your first weeks
salary. Where would I befoBostoD
Transcript.