The Washington herald., 1918-03-26
sr RUDOLPH PERKINS
Nice Sunday Behavior.

L lOlhb
did. Ellis Montgomery stayed nome.
The night before he had q spat
with Irma Nelson. his girl.
She told him that he need not
escort her to church any more. She
had more desirable company. she
told him.
So Ellis waited for that more
desirable company" to pass his
house on the way back from church.
1t was nearly l. o'clock when
Irma and Andy Munroe passed by.
Ellis spoke to Irma, but she turn
ed her head the other way.
Andy gave Ellis black look, so
Ellis said. and made a peculiar mo-
tion with the doubled-up fist.
"On yo way home" shouted Ellis
to Andy. stop in. All wants to hab
leedle Confab wild yo."
Andy accepted the challenge
much to his sorrow. because Ellis
whipped him.
Ellis was pinched. He wasn't the
least sorry for what he did.
1t must have pleased Andy
though, when the court told his an
tagonist to she'll out a ten dollar
bill.
s'too Bad.
Saturday afternoon Ed Bell went
the rounds OF the markets, pricing
the meat.
He found out that a ham cost
almost as much as a funeral.
Every other kind of meat was
high and 1t wasn't long before the
paralysis of the purse.
1anfIa1 he Nynnld cat
himself a hunk of meat-and II he
knew what he was doing - he
wouldn't pay for 1t either.
He swiped a big piece from a
stand on Louisiana avenue.
The owner of the stand was
watching Ed and saw him tuck the
meat under his coat.
Ed walked to the next stand and
made a noise like an innocent shop
per.
In a twinkle the owner of the
meat had him by the arm and de-
manded his goods.
Ed tried to fozzle him out OF 1t
but his acquaintance with meat
dealers was limited and it was no
go.
4 policeman rushed in and took
charge of Ed and locked him up.
Ed told the court that he was
positive that he paid for the meat
but he couldn't say where or when
or how much.
So there was nothing for the
court to do but to send him TO jail
ten days.
A Narrow Escape.
"Ah had a gun in nah pocket.
Jedge." said Lawrence. Hatton. but
All had it dere to keep nah wife fun
kiIlin' herself"
Lawrence was arrested Sunday af-
ternoon by Policeman Lewis after the
policeman had been told that he was
tOting a gun.
Lewis found Lawrence in a lunch
room sound asleep searched him and
locked him up.
Lawrence never thought about hid
ing the gun somewhere in the house
where his wife couldn't find it.
His wife asked him for the gun. he
said She wanted to get rid of all
her troubles. he told the court, and
the pistol would do the trick.
He was afraid. too, he said. that she
would find the gun while he was at
work and blow out her brains with it,
So he took it with him. He was
sure then that no harm would be
done-at least with that particular
weapon.
However. Lawrence hasn't a very
good record. He has been in court
before.
But because the stork visited his
house Sunday night the court sus-
pended sentence.
Quack, Quack.
Last Thursday two ducks were
pudding around in the yard of
John Richard.
These ducks were quaCking about
their own business as all good
ducks do.
Suddenly. Fred King. who had
been perChed on the fence OF this
yard. made a long dive and caught
one of the ducks by the neck.
The duck hollored for help. But
Fred stopped it's cries, and ran out
of the yard with it.
The other duck. seeing its buddy
in trouble flew over the fence to
the rescue.
knowing that this other duck
would do something like this Phil
Clay was waiting for it and caught
it on the fly.
These two boys were rushing the
ducks away when the owner miss
ed them.
Calling in Policeman Oscar w.
Mansfield, Richard. showed him the
footprints of the ducks where King
and Clay had set them down for a
minute. and told him to rescue
them.
There is but one other animal in
the world that makes a noise like
a duck and that animal left Wash
inEton last November.
Therefore it was an easy matter
for Mansfield to follow the noise
and find the ducks.
He caught King and Clay a few
minutes after they had sold the
ducks.
Fifteen days each was what they
got.
Moses Lights Went Out.
Never again will Moses Henson
match his head against a blackjack.
When he appeared in court he look
ed like he had just come from a
base hospital in France.
Moses and Policeman Purcell had
a scrap Saturday afternoon when
Purcell arrested his CMosesO wife.
Foolishly Moses flung himself on