davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Unfortunate Expression.

Although our new war secretary,
Lord Miner, cannot exactly be said
to shine as a humorist, he can enjoy
a good story against himself. as wit
ness the following, which he Is fond
of relating.
Some years ago. fresh from his
South African triumphs. he addressed
an audience of undergraduates at his
old university.
"We must remember not merely
the beauty Of the individual colleges.
but the beauty Of Oxford as a whole.
And what a whole II Is"
"Hear. heart" yelled the varsity
e eyes, what a holew they
groaned. "What a beastly hcler"
Then 1t dawned upon Lord Miner
that this was q sentiment he would
rather have expressed differently
Parsons Weekly.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
ALWAYS HUNGRY At NIGHT
Kansas City Man Beginning to Feav
He 10 AFFLICTED With an IN
patriotic Stomach.

A Kansas City man who Is trying to
be very patriotic Is beginning to won
der II he II not cursed with a pro-
German stomach. During the daytime,
when he is up On his feet, he has no
trouble observing the food regulations,
but just as soon as he lies down at
night to 60 to sleep. his stomach takes
advantage Of the fact that he Is fiat
ON his back and refuses to give way
to Morpheus until he eats again.
Sometimes I manage to get to sleep
without taking on an extra cargo Of
food" he says. But when / do I usu-
ally wake up In the middle OF the night
with a mad craving for food. and the
only way / car get back to sleep is to
get up. go out to the kitchen and cook
myself some hot food"
The man says he has tried. his best
to overcome this hunger habit. but is
unable to do SO. Several times a week
he will go to the kitchen in the middle
of the night, put on a skillet and fry q
piece of ham. or bacon and eggs, and.
after eating an ordinary size meal, will
60 back to bed and sleep. He says he
has tried eating fruits and light food,
but his stomach will have none of these
and insists upon meats. Often when he
is standing over a skillet dressed only
In his pajamas In the dead of night he
says he feels like a thief stealing food,
while others who periodically observe
all of Mr.. Hoover's regulations are
asleep.
Maybe you have a tapeworm with
Teutonic l~eanings," a friend suggested.
Maybe / have" the man replied,
sadly, but / think 1t is an inherited
habit that Is just getting a grip on me.
/ remember when my folks lived on a
farm near Pomeroy. When l was just
a kid my father used to have to get
up In the night and eat as l do. But 1t
is only recently that l have becom,
addicted to the habit, and it Is only
since the food regulations became so
strict that l have worried about It,"
Maybe your wife's cooking is not as
good as 1t used to be-" was the next
logical suggestion.
Don't you yer think 1t isn't, young
mani" the glutton of the darkness re-
piled Indignantly. my wife, sir, is the
best cook In Kansas City! You may ac-
cuse me of having German tapeworm
or Of having an unpatriotic stomach,
but you must not reflect upon my
wife's culinary art. Good evening. sir IL
Kansas City Star.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
It's Acid Stomach
That Makes Millions
Sick and Suffer

iiafion. II Is the right way to be wen
and keep strong. Ordinary medicine
won't do any lasting good. The best
they can do is TO spur up your appetite
for awhile.
A modern remedy makes 4 possible
to remove excess acid without the slight.
est discomfort. Ii Is called EATONIC.
In the form of pleasant tasting tablets.
Their action In the stomach Is a good
deal like a piece OF blotting paper takin,
up u drop Of imk--they literally absorb
the injurious excess acid and carry 1t
away through the intestines.
Begin using EATONIC right now
today-and get on the road TO bounding.
vigorous, vibrant health. Thousands
upon thousands Of people who have
used EArONIC are enthusiastic In Its
praise. They say they never dreamed
that ANYTHING could bring them such
quick relief.
EATOluC IN fully guaranteed. You
druggist will give you n big box for only
90 cents with the distinct understanding
that II :ou are not pleased In every way,
you get your 90 cents back. III you can't
get EATONIC where yon liye-send MS
your name and address; we vii! send
you a ffty cent box and you can send
ns the soc when you get It. Address
Eatonlc Remedy Co., Guuther Bldg, Chi
cago, Ill.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

When the Prussians took possession
Of Cracow, In 1904, the Polish king
dom ceased to exist. The king of
Prussia coveted the traditional dia.
dem of Poland's kings for his own
adornment. 1t had. however. disap-
peared mysteriously, and the Prussian
king was baked of his wish. In Janu.
airy, 1914, v months before the
world war broke out, during a severe
storm. lightning struck a stately elm
close to the city and brought to light
q secret treasure which had lain bur
led at its roots for 123 years, the long
lost crown of Poland.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There 10
only one way to cure Catarrhal Deafness,
and that Is by q constitutional remedy.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE acts
of the System. Catarrhal Deafness IL
caused by an niamed condition OF the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube.
When this tube II infiamed you have a
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing. anc
when IL Is entirely closed. Deafness Is tho
result. Unless the Inflammation can be re-
duced and this U b restored TO its nor
MAJ condition. hearing may be destroyed
forever. Many cases Of Deafness are
caused by Catarrh. which Is an infiomed
condition OF the Mucous Surfaces.
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for any
case of Catarrhal Deafness that cannot
be cured by HALLS CATARRH
MEDICINE.
DTusE,s,s secc Si ncns nsH
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Hard 10

"A spring poet wants to see you,
sir"
Tell him we have more spring po-
etry on hand than we can use In the
text nine years." said the editor.
"Yes, sir"
"Well?"
"He says It's posthumous fame he's
after, and If you don't mind he'll leave
his sonnet with YOU"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
His Fathers Were Larger.

Tommie thought that his father was
the best father, that his mother was
the best mother, and that his house
was the best house. Indeed, every
thing Of his was best.
One day OF n visit TO a neigfbor
woman, he followed her upstairs to
watch her make the bedrooms tidy.
"Are those your daddy's shoesY" he
asked. as the put those articles
In their proper place.
YES" she answered smiling. "They
r pretty large, don't you think?"
"Oh, yes, but my daddy's shoes are
larger" he said quickly.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

A British officer decided to hand
some advice to a rather ineffective
chaplain. So he said:
Padre. II you'll excuse my saying
so. you're a DID rotten chaplain
the men will follow you to
heaven"
II rather felt that. SIR" stammered
the fiummoxed padre.
But ! tell you what continued the
officer. you'd make q fine company
officer. and the men would follow you
to hell"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Breaking II Gently.

Askem-Where's the rich heiress
you're engaged TO?
Tellum-You see that lovely girl in
pink at the other side of the room?
Askem-Yes; l say, old man, what
a superb
Tellum-Well, II isn't she. It's that
grand old ruin in yellow sitting next
TO her.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

Life. IN dark-not worth much to tie
man or woman with an aeid-stomach.
Acid stomach kills Hope. Ambition.
Energy Courage. II saps the strength
OF the strongest body-impoverishes the
biood-canses untold suffering - makes
millions weak. UNIT and brings on pre-
mature old age.
Millions OF people are weak and unht,
suffering all the time, In one way or an
other. from superacidity or acid-stomach.
They don't seem dangerously sick.
Just alling. Going through life weak,
~listless dragging one foot after another.
They're nervous and irritable: lack pew
er and punch. frequently have severe
attacks OF binding. splitting headaches;
subject to nts OF melanchoiia and men-
tai depression. And nearly always their
stomachs are out OF order. even though
many experience no actUsl stomach
pafns-digestion poor-never getting
anywhere near the full strength from
their food.
So, you sec. it's just thls--acid -stom-
ach--that IN holding so many people
back - sapping up the strength they
should get from their ~food-taking away
their vigor and v~itslity--leaving them
weak and inefficient.
Get rid of the excess acid. That's
the secret OF good health and f. the only
way TO obtain good digestion and assim-
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Water, Mind You.

Wsse's "'"o 'ou'
Squabbs-They say that three
fourths Of the earth's surface is COW
cred with water.
Squibbs-Well, that's q fine record
compared with those Of our bathing
beach girls.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

1t sometimes happens that a married
man has a great deal to say. but his
wife won't let him say 1t.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03
Was Told He Couldn't
Live Six Months
But Doan's Brought MIR.
Clayton Health and
STRENGTH.

G. T. Clayton, 7S N. Broad ST..
Woodbury., N. j., says: II had
about the worst ase OF kidney
complaint a man could have. My
Kidneys were In terrible shape. I
had SHARP, knifelike pains Ia the
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

Try Freezone! Your druggist sells q
tiny bottle for q few cents, sufficient to
rid your feet of every hard corn. soft
corn, or corn between the toes. and
c~alluses. without N particle Of pain,
orene or irritation. Freezone Is the
discovery of a noted Cincinnati genius.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

small OF my back;
and my back often
gave out entirely. i
couldn't stoop to lace
my shoes. For two
years I was in this
helpless condition and
didn't do a tap of
work and no one
thought / would ever
be able to work again.
In fact. ! was told I
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

fled for the Turner Printing COM
pany. at Marion. with a capital of
SIS, 900. incorporates, W. A. Hopper
man. Martin Christopherson and Geo.
Newman. The Clarified Threshing
company, at Clearfeld. Trip county.
Capital, $1,000. Incorporators, James
Dausherty, John Fl. Noska, VIM.
Schultz. First Presbyterian church
Of Stiekney. Trustees, Esther Will
Jams, Henry Ketel, J. E. Bachman.
One of the most disastrous train
wrecks Of recent years in this section
of South Dakota occurred on the Mil
waukee railroad three miles east of
Marvin, when thirty-hve cars heavily
loaded with wheat. max; barley, coal
and lumber left the track and werc
piled in a heap twenty-five feet high.
a broken truck is said to have caused
the accident.
Prof. c. Larsen. director OF the ex-
tension at South Dakota State college,
at Brod Ings. has accepted an invita-
tion to be judge OF dairy cattle at the
Oregon State fair. Professor Larsen
was formerly head Of the State college
dairy ~husbandry department and Il
an authority on dairy subjects.
Miss Helen Tufts. in charge OF the
womar's section Of the United States
employment service bureau In Sioux
Falls. Is adverfiaing for women team.
aforo n go HSYwN x~.-~ 90 ~
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1918-10-03

ing up with the machine for all the
work and did the job as we'll as any
crew of men could have done it.
Thirty-Hve years ago the University
OF Dakota. now the University OF
South Dakota, opened for it's first
term. An old newspaper account de-
scribes the opening as a magnificent
affair" The members of the board OF
regents who were present were. Gen.
w. H. H. Beadle, Of Yankton; Erick-
son, Of Elk Point: Elweu, OF Sioux
Falls. and Burdick. of vermillion. Ex-
Chief Justice Shannon and President
Epstein made addresses.
Secretary Beaumont. Of the state
live stock commission. says that the
late frosts should put an end to the
fungus poisoning of horses IN the en-
trail part Of the state. In the past
few weeks the trouble has spread
from a. far north - Aberdeen and
Woonsocket, and the loss will be
about 1000 horses, but with frost no
further trouble is anticipated.
South Dakota registered nurses OF
che third district Of the state. Of
which Huron IL a part. vii meet -
Luke sosPitz; IN s5srieen On
September ~
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
HIGH EXPLOSIVES
At Pigeon POINT
MENACE This CITY
lcontInued From Flrst PAGE J

Continued From First Page)
carloads OF high explosives, most OF
them being picrlc acid, wet nitro-cellu-
lose and T. N. T. The understanding Is
that II the additional storage room that
Is being sought at Pigeon Point, can be
obtained, the number OF carloads OF
those high explosives will be increased
10 above three hundred.
or the cars already on the tracks,
more than one hundred are labelled
"Innammable." most OF them being
filled with picric acid and T. N. T.
II is said that the French government,
following the coming OF peace, asked
the United States government for tenn
porary storage space. which space
could not be granted because those
storage places already were filled with
munitlon supplies belonging TO the
United States. Following that refusal,
II Is said the French government in
sisted that II be stored at some con-
venlent place along the Delaware river
and kept there until ships might be OBJ
tanned to take ii over to France This
work Of transportation, 1t was said,
would require az least year.
Thus far the public officials have
done nothing definite 10 urge the Fed
eral government TO insist that France
remove this menace from the threshold
OF Wilmington, but now that the large
extent Of the storage OF explosives has
become known, II is expected that defln-
ite action win be taken looking to a
quick removal Of the menace.
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
NURSES READY TO
fight FLU AGAIN

A number OF physicians in the coun-
try have expressed the opinion that
there may be a sporadic return Of in
iluenza epidemic conditions in the
country in 1919 and 1920, as epidemlcs
have a pleasant habit Of coming back.
The United States Public Health Ser
vice is taking beforehand measures by
sending out questionnaires TO nurses
enrolled for homo service, In order to
get data on available help in different
sections, II they should be needed.
Local nurses have received these ques-
tlonnsires.
The Delaware Hospital is offering.
free OF charge, vaccine innoculation
against the influenza All such vac
cines are In the experimental stage, and
no guarantee Is given as TO their pre-
venting a contraction Of the influenza.
So far as tried, favorable results have
been obtained by the use of this vac
cine as a protection against colds,
grippe, influenza and pneumonia.
The vaccine Is given free by the Mayo
Foundation of Rochester, Minnesota.
The Mayo doctors are possibly the most
famous physicians In the United States,
and Rochester is constantly fllled with
their patients from all over the world.
The Delaware. Hospital will admins
ter vaccine free OF charge between 9
and 10 O'Clock. ia the morning and 63O
and 7 o'clock In the evening. The in
oculatlons are given 10 each individual
three times, one week apart
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
eggs KEEP near
THE DOLLAR MARK
Farmers Supply Goes at
90 Cents the Dozen
Today
PRICE OF POULTRY
CONTINUES HIGH

The scrapple season has arrived.
There was comfortable supply OF II on
the market stands today, constructed
as it was in past season OF corn meal
plus quite variety Of things. There
were many customers purchasing 1t al
% cents a pound, preparatory to ciisp
and toOthsome Sunday breakfasts.
A good many folks were taking home
baskets OF apples, no simple matter
when the baskets were conveyed on
trolley cars at crowded hours, as most
OF them were. The average price
charged by. the farmers was si.25 a
basket.
The poultry left-overs from Thanks
giving, which did not include turkey,
were as high priced as ever. even a
small, scragsly, .palelblne hen being
labelled Si.40.
Eggs2 Ninety cents per dozen, and
going higher. Most OF the eggs on sale.
though. were Grated and priced at 60
and 10 cents per dozen. Butter was sold
by the farmers for so cents a pound.
Either the rabbits are shy this yeas
or all the good marksmen have iolnod
the military service. There were none
on sale In the King street butcher
shops.
The fruit stands sre more reasonable
than a month ago. Fairly good lemons
were priced at 20 cents a dozen. md
oranges at 40 cents al dozen. The
worthy banana was bringing 25 and SO
cents a dozen.
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
MAIL YOUR XMAS PACKAGES EARLY

Mail your Christmas parcels early"
is the slogan at tho local postofllce. In
view OF the rush Of mailing matter for
the holiday season, the postofflce au-
thorities are urging the public 10 CO.
operate with the postal service by OBJ
serving certain conditions in the
preparation and mailing of Christmas
packages The following Instructions
are issued:
Prepay postage ana war-stamp tax
fully.
Address parcels fully and plainly.
Place name and address Of sender on
all mail matter.
Pack articles carefully and wrap
them securely. Do not seal.
Sealed parcels are subject to postage
at the letter rate.
Mail parcels early. They NAV be
marked DO not oepn until Christmas !.
Insure valuable parcels.
Inscriptions such as Merry Christ
mas" are permissible additions TO
fourth -class (parrei post mall.
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
CHURCHES TO AID
RED CROSS DRIVE
Joseph S. Hamilton Chosen
Director Of the
Organization
SCHOOLS ALSO TO
SUPPORT CAMPAIGN

Churches Of all denominations are be-
ing lined up for the Red Gross Christ
mas roll call Joseph S. Hamilton is
the director in charge Of this unit and
he hopes after tomorrow 10 be able
to announce a complete working or
ganization. Those who are assisting
Mr.. Hamilton as denominatlonal dI-
rectors are Ralph N. Holley, Presbyte-
rian; the Rev. Robert Watt, Methodist
Episcopal; Peter A. Horty, Roman
Catholic; Frederick Bringhurst. Epis-
copal; Thomas S. Taylor, Baptist, and
Louis Topkis, Hebrews.
Mr. Holley and Mr.. Hamilton will take
charge OF the work Of organizing all
churches not mentioned In this list.
At tomOrr0w's services a committee
Is to be named by each pastor, whose
duty II will be 10 supervise the work
In each particular place OF worship.
IL is essential that the name OF this
chairman should be forwarded OF tele-
phoned TO Mr.. Hamilton not later than
Monday. This IS necessary in order
that each chairman may be provided
with Instructions for the campaign ans
supplies
A prominent business man visited
Red Cross headquarters, Church build
Inc, Tenth and Market streets today.
and made suggestion that is oonsld-
cred valuable. II is this, that each bus
mess man from now until the drive Is
over, should express himself at the en-
or every business letter in language
something like this-"Yours for the Red
Cross Drive"
This Idea was used with much sue
cess during the Liberty Loan campaig
and II universally adopted ought 10
prove Of value in This effort. All OF the
letters may not be addressed 10 con
Germs or people In this city. but tho
influence would be valuable
wherever the addressee lives
In the work OF placing posters 70
the campaign, the job viii be under
the direction OF the Thomas Cusacl
The company will place
poster display advertising, and has
fered 30 cooperate heartily in every
way possible for the success Of the
drive.
Outside Of Wilmington. next Friday |
will be generally observed as Red Gross |
Day in the public schools Of the State.
This action is the result Of a request |
from State Commissioner Of Education |
Spaid and the county superlntendents. |
A program that will explain the pur-
pose Of the coming drive has been sent |
TO each teached. with the request that |
either II or some other suitable exer-
else be held on Friday. 10 focus the at |
tention Of the pupils on the need for
every school child In Delaware becom-
Ing a member OF the Red Cross or else
a Red Gross Junior.
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
Brazi ian Balm
For Spanish influenza

AS the Balm is the only thing ever
discovered that kills every germ-and
cures pneumonia-never having lost a
case yet In 40 years, many people have
learned this fact and send to us by scores
for 81 90 bottles--hence the Druggists
should keep this size on hand. They
can always get II OF Mr.. Danforth, OF
Wilmington. or any Philadelphia or
Baltimore wholesale house. Every re-
tail druggist ought TO have a dozen
bottles at least Some retailers are buy
Tag three dozen. and ordering them by
parcels post People should saturate
themselves with the Balm TO kill this
tough germ. It saves every case. B. p.
Jackson & Co.. Proprietors, Arcade,
Wyoming Co., N. Y.
Evening journal., 1918-12-07
LIEUT.. J.P. HrINEL
WOUNDED BY HUNS
Mechanic Joseph W. Phil
lips Dies of Pneumonia
on Battlefield
TWO OTHER BOYS
ON The WAR LISI

Mrs. X. M. Heinel. No. 60i Madison
street received telegram on Wednes-
day, giving official notice that her son.
Lieutenant John p. Helnel. had been
wounded in action on the western front.
July 10.
Previous 10 the arrival OF this tele-
gram, Mrs Heinel knew of her sons
injury, as she has had a number OF
letters from him since he was wound
ed. In a recent letter he stated he was
still going occasionally TO the hospital
for treatment, his wound being In the
leg.
Lieutenant Heinel has been overseas
about a year. After completing
course at a college in Springfield,
Mass, he entered one Of the first OIL
GERS training camps and won his com
mission as Lieutenant In the infantry di-
vision. Shortly after being assigned,
he went overseas.
Appearing on the war casualty list
today is the name Of another Whining
ton man, who Is reported as having
died OF disease. He is mechanic Joseph
w. Phillips, son Of Mrs. Ida Phillips
of No. 1919 Union street.
Phillips is 25 years OF age and left
this city In August with consign-
ment OF draftees for Fort Wsdsworth,
S. c., and In September was sent over
seas His mother received on Thanks
giving Day the official telegram stat
ing her sons death. II stated he had
died on October 10 OF bronchial pneu-
monia. Before Joining the colors Phil
lips was a carpenter and worked for
Harry C. Lynch.
Reported also on today's list are the
names: Corporal Robert
Frederick, Of Havre De Grace, Md, he
being listed as killed In action, and
Private Joseph l.. Harmon, OF Kennett
Square, Pa, wounded severely.