South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-05-05
Man in the Street

/
and subscriptions to Liberty loan is
sues this old town has helped con
sideraby towards taking the helm
out Of Wilhelm.
No great trouble can ever crush
woman unless it happens to be
one she has created out Of some
small matter that doesn't amount TO
anything.
! We still believe that The purchase
l of a double Al gilt-edge security
! like a Liberty bond will not kill
man who has some faint attach
ment for the land he calls home.
The mayor says Mishawaka is as
dry as the official bulletin That
would be impossible if there were
not a drop of Ticker within 500
miles. Bay rum, Mrs. Pinkham's
compound, Mothers Friend and
Herpicide would save us from that
Holland won't let us get quinine
from the Dutch East Indies. Poor
| little Holland. She is looking so
angry at us that we suspect the
/ kaiser is peeping over into her back
yard
Just before the blazing summer
time comes we desire TO remind all
readers that il is going to be as cold
as Siberia next winter Buy the Lib
erty bonds whenever they come
along and then begin to lay in your
winter fuel
Only a few more days now and
the ice man will begin to brace up
and dust off his diamonds
IL Lenine is drawing a salary OF
/ SIC a month, as stated. he is. con
/ sidering the services he renders. the
most overpaid official on earth.
Tn New York a movie is said to
have substituted for its Pair of Pa
triots" film. one called "A Pair OF
Petticoats." and the World head
1 liner makes the announcement un-
| der the heading Shifts in the
Plays" These newspaper young
sters know very little about lingerie
In modern plays there are few pet
ticoats and no shifts at all.
!
If the churches in town were to
unfurl today flags bearing a star
for each member who happened 10
be absent fishing. the pastors would
probably guess that the stores had
sold all their fishing tackle
We do not believe in the brutal
theory of an eye for an eve and
tooth for tooth in war. Our belief
is if we can ever. get a chance to
| arrange the exchange on our own
! terms to exact a thousand eyes for
one and to make Prussia toothless
for a thousand years TO come
That's the human nature Of it, any
way.
We read of a Yankee sharp
shooter who killed 10 Huns" The
chances are four to one that he is
a squirrel hunting democrat from
Penn township who would have
been running for constable Of pre-
cinct No. l if the war hadn't brok-
en- out.
Nelson Morris says $50 ought TO
clothe a child for a year Twenty
( dollars is a plenty. Nelse. for that
/ purpose. provided it is a Hottentot
+ kid or the child of exceedingly
/ fashionable parents in the Shirt
Tail district of Mexico.
Ii took sometime to clear up the
I bond situation in the South Bend
district hut it showed the honesty
of Mishawakans when they refused
to accept credit for more than the
half million. even when it was
thrust upon them.
Spaghetti Feast
The Presbyterians have announc-
ed another rubber" social Every
one Is invited TO attend and bring
along some old rubber Is old rub
her tenderer than young rubber?
Aren't there a sufficient number
of red-blooded American women in
on those war effort committees
/ without having recourse TO those
VIGOROUSLY tinged with pro-Ger-
manism? Perhaps those responsible
for the appointments are afraid
they might miss an invitation 10
some afternoon tea. or game of
bridge. II looks that way. any
how.
We suspect Champ Clark weigh |
ed. thumped and candled that Mis-
souri, senatorial egg thoroughly and |
then inspected the hen that laid it
Before he passed it up.
For the enlightment Of those who |
are watching Mishawaka's expert
ence OF reform we will saw that the |
streets are still crowded with men
who use cinnamon, cloves. lemon
peel and things that odorize the at |
mosphere. And then there are men |
who Whit it out 10 you that they /
have the goods and don't care a /
durn who knows il. OF course. the |
people we are telling you about |
make repeatad trims IN Gouft, Pa-5 Il