Trench and camp. [volume] (Augusta, Ga.) 1917-1919, 1918-05-01
THE WILLING PATRIOT.


pend my signature on this side"
Canadian judge, travelling by rail,
Deserved man looking about for seat
and kin1Iy invited the man into his own
COMPARTMENT
Nov. Pat said the judge, this is a
splendid country, isn't it2 Beats Old Ire
land to sticks, doesn't t?'
"Oh no, sir said Pat, there's a few
places that can beat Ireland"
Come, now, | am sure in Ireland it
would be long time before you could
travel with a Judge"
That's true, sir" said Pat "but in
Ireland it would be a long time till they'd
make you a judge
WAS ONLY RUNNING
a gigantic private was brought before
his commanding officer one morning
charged with being disorderly in the pub
lie street
who makes qthe charger" asked the
colonel. =,
81 do. SIR" replied a sergeant. II was
in the town last night, when | heard
someone believing and roaring songs
about 800 yards away. went to the
spot and saw the prisoner Private Jones,
singing at the top of his voice,
And you could hear him 300 yards
away% asked the colonel
Yes, asir
Wen, what have you to say Private
Jones2" continued the colonel turning to
Please, sir, said Private Jones, 81
was only humming!"-Chicago Blade.
RAPID PROMOTION.
The late Admiral Hanham, at the be-
ginning of the war; was arguing with a
lady at luncheon about the British
navy
But, my dear madam" said the adj
mral lit is hard to argue with you,
because you are so-ere, pardon me-so
ignorant,
"You remind me of the young wife who
n hnr hpOf hpr oh hnf. 1tpA-
husband:
Isn't Jack just wonderful? Think.
he's already been promoted to field mar
shall
From private to field marshal in two
months? Impossible" said the brother
the young wife. Well, perhaps it's count
martial. l know it's one or the other"
st. Louis Globe-D Democrat.
New Arrival: And where do l go
wen this Smelling business starts?
Sandy (late of the Wee KirkO):
Laddie, that a depends on your re-
leegious opeenioIs.
Oar ain much encouragement" said
Uncle Eben, I'm forgiving an enemy
who starts sumpin' else every time you
forgive i'm"
Ir6SlQlnR GENUS. w nat is InS
charge against Private Jones?
Sergeant: If yer place, 'es been
drunk, and 'e's been breaking things,
an he won't obey no orders. In fact
es been behavin' ginrally as though e
waz the bl yomin' colonel himself!
Young Solly (bacl from Franco
The day before l left we made a
splendid charge.
Anxious Parent-IIow much?
Harry Gust "out)-Listen, Bill!
Sounds like old Fritz comm over in
the mud-Squish, squash, squish,
squash.
Bin-Thats orl right-that's only the
Americans further up a chewin' their
gum rationS.
First E.3way Director-We may
have to provide more seats.
Second Subway Director No8seaset
Simply have THE Etar Spangled Ban
ner" played on all cars.
A Tommy lying in hospital, had
beside him watch of curious and for
eign design. The attending doctor was
interested.
''Where did your watch come from?"
he asked.
"A German give it to me- he answered.
| little piQued, the doctor inquired how
the foe had come to convey this token
of esteem and affection.
"'E 'ad to-" was the laeonic reply.
"A frivilous young English girl, with no
love for the Stars and Stripes once
exclaimed at a celebration where the
American flag was very much in evil
dence "Oh, what a sly-loOking thing
the American flag is! 1t suggests moth
ing but checker berry candy"
Yes" replied a bystander, the kind
of candy that has made everybody sick
,,.,n oN.er tried to lick il