South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1918-02-17
MAN IN THE STREET

otherwise and would have more time
10 work; besides. there is no rea-
son why people who ought to re
raising turnips and beans should be
in the fund business. anyway
Somebody is demanding that the
lobster palaces of New York close.
Why The Holsters that are eaten
are worth nothing TO the real people
OF the war, and the Holsters who
do the eating don't amount 10 any
thing more than a lower case &c"
box full of naughts.
When a man will lay of q SOFA
day job to try TO catch a 25-cent
string OF FISH, II is a sign that spring
is hiking this way. Such things are
already happening in Mishawaka.
Otto Lang and Dan Ward invaded
the Michigan ponds the past week.
They say the English do not rec
Ognize our honorary titles OF colonel
and judge They simply can't un-
derstand il They ought 70 know
that men are born colonies and
Judges here just as they are born
knights and earls in England.
Some men are so devilish, when
they get TO the forks of the road
they stop and inquire the wrong
way so they will be sure to take it.
That is one reason why there are
so many republicans.
/ Man is the architect Of his own
fortunes. and woman is architect Of
her own figure until she connects
with the middle age spread.
We know of several republicans
in Mishawaka who would prefer
ably vote for the kaiser were he
20 run for president of the United
States on the republican ticket than
for good clean cut American be-
longing to the democratic school. AS
We say. we know them, and believe
they ought TO be shot or informed
until after the next general election
assigned 10 rural charges are in big
luck when it comes TO the eats, but
if we held a pastorate like that We
should insist upon accepting chicken
and eggs on salary at the rate of a
dollar AMI two bits a dozen for the
flyers and a dime a dozen for the
eggs.
Arthur Schellenger asks us if IL
is proper to designate lies as
'yarns?" Well, not exactly; if lies
were yarns you could get eight pairs
of socks for a dime and a first-class
overcoat for a dollar and a half.
An east end lady friend tells us
she would like 10 put her arms
around former Pres't Tafts neck
Well. perhaps she might reach
around his neck. but it would take
some pinions to encircle him other
wise.
There is an incessant demand for
cooks for the army. We hope, how
ever, our gallant soldiers will not
have TO eat the kind Of stuff the
average cook puts up for the civilian
population.
Matters will become so serious be-
fore midsummer that women Will
have very little appetite for idle
pleasures. but even at that her
yearning for the simple duties will
not be keen enough to cause her 10
prefer washing the dishes TO an
hour with Douglas Fairbanks at her
favoTite ilmie.
We trust Ed. Byrkit has informed
himself as to the trend of public
| opinion in regard TO the necessity Of
a change in the administration Of
I the public schools. The board meets
| Tuesday night, and we would sug-
/ gest that he does a little preliminary
| accommodating previous 70 taking
the step which 90 per cent Of the
population is anxious should be
| taken.
In Difference to the wishes OF u
! married chap who gets Thursday
nights off, we have arranged to pub
! lish the bowling scores hereafter 50
/ that his wife may be able to see
! his name in the News Times the
/ following morning. and may thus
/ know by such unimpeachable evil
| dence that all married men are not
/ given 10 fabricating even though un-
able 20 distinguish between i
strike and a schooner of Premona.