davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
HOW TO RUN A rDRNAca

nave your ice man put In an Ordsi
for a load of coal. Write 1t down for
him so that he cannot possibly make
a mistake.
Wait a week Then call up the coal
office and tell them you have no de.
sire to hurry matters, but that you
Just called to ask them to send
chute along with the coal to facili-
tate putting 1t In the cellar. Apollo
gize for not fully instructing the ice
man on that point. -s;sr-7
Hold the phone while the man Ia
the coal office looks up your BERTH
lon measurements.
When after a lapse Of ten minutes
or SO. he tells you the ice man never
turned in your order be sure to re-
strain your temper. II would be
foolish worm, indeed, that would turn
against coal man.
Patiently walt until he gets q pad
OF paper on which to take down your
order. Use all your art In trying to
conceal from him just what sort of
coal you want. II you prefer nut tell
him to send egg. That wiz give him
the opening for which he has been
waiting. He will tell you that nut IL
very much more desirable than egg,
although II costs a little more. Al.
though you secretly agree with him
on this point you must exhibit due
reluctance In accepting his expert ad.
vice. Let him argue with you. II flat
tiers his vanity.
Carefully clean out the corner of
the cellar where the coal Is to be
thrown and see that the window opens
easily so as to not inconvenience the
men on the wagon. To do this II will
be necessary for you to go home ear
ly from the office. as the man told
you the coal would be delivered at
p. m.
When the coal arrives at $50 p. N.
don't bother to examine 1t. The next
morning you will find 1t IL neither
egg nor nut, but lump.
Being now ready to run your fur.
mace only one thing remains to be
done.
Hire a janitor.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
# BACK HURTS Use
SALTS FOR KIDNEYS
Eat les meat II Kidneys feel Ike lsaA
or BLADDER bothsrs you-Msst
forms uric acid

Most folks forget that the kidneys,
ike the bowels, get sluggish and clogsed
ind need a flushing occasionally, else We
have backache and dull misery in the
kidney region, severe headaches, rheu.
matte twinges, torpid liver, acid stomach.
sleeplessness and all sorts Of bladder dis
orders.
You simply must keep your kidneys
active and clean. and the moment you
feel an ache or pain in the kidney
region, get about four ounces Of JG6
Salts from any good drug store here,
take tablespoonful in glass Of water
before breakfast for few days and
your kidneys will then act fine. This
famous salts 10 made from the acid Of
grapes and lemon juice, combined with
lithia, and is harmless to flush clogged
kidneys and stimulate them to normal
activity. It also neutralizes the acids
"a the urine so 1t no longer irritates,
thus ending bladder disorders.
Jad Salts is harmless; inexpensive;
makes a delightful effervescent lithia-
water drink which everybody should take
now and then TO keep their kidneys clean,
'bus avoiding serious complications.
A well-known local druggist says he
Ills lots of Jad Salts to folks who believe
overcoming kidney trouble while It is
rly trouble.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
sAPaavARplMo HsALru.

Jim Wax was bound to guard h1s
health. xhich b . better thing than
wealth.
He read M al the magazines which
tell and illustrsts the means. By which
70 keep from getting sick. and keep
the System sound and slick. While 9th.
En- sts their sirioin steaks. he aiisd
himself with oatmeal cakes. which
taste like slabs Of willow wood: II
know" he said. they don't taste
good: they're favored like excelsior
but tastes not what eat them for.
They build Ip bone and strengthen
thew. and mike the blood az good Is
new. Those chaps who eat their juicy
steaks will soon be filled with beastly
aches; to appetite they are the slaves.
and they'll soon MI untimely graves"
While others ate their rich mince
pies. old Jimmy War. the doubly wise.
ate turnips raw. fresh from the field.
and as he pushed them In he spelled:
81 know these wholesome turnips
taste like rubber shoeb. or rancid
paste: they were designed for cows
and swine. but they will brace this
frame Of mine. Old DR.. Faker, In his
book. says every man, by hook or
crook, should eat nine turnips every
day. and they will drive his Ills away.
My neighbors I'LL themselves with pies
until the Juice drips from their eyes.
but pies are full Of germs, know, and
germs will cause all kinds Of 80
When they are dead I'll still bf, ~.
infesting this old hemisphere, 60,
and sound in wind and limb. anu 1
of energy and VIM"
While others drink hot coz
to set their hearts and liv{ an ~. ;.
old Jimmy's inner tank was ..,,,ss 80
water which had been 4",'
know" he said. that wak - o..
/ ought to know, the lota -
It's good to irrigate the xh...s.
~ -. .. pink pains in
80. 90 ~, BADLY pour II
down, for it's the only, -" .
that keeps the liver OF 40. a ~ -, !.
strengthens shoulderbf.
IsAw old Jimmy yes w. 80, "
was dismal and forlor .,.rr.a' ~
~ 80 ~ 'fkey carved: how
I have hlled my 80 80 80
horss feed. turnipsS .h,;v .,nona ~.
And while you're s;imsn, ,hst oan -,
~ 5ver this. I'll know the
.,eI daily bliss; III MI this
.mAno prw or mine with everything
esse Is to wtne."-By Walt Mason.
from =
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
DARKEN GRAY HAIR
LOOK YOUNG, PRETTY
Sage Tea and Sulphur Darkens
So Naturally that No
body can tell.

Hair that loses Its color and lustrs,
OF when II fades, turns gray, dull and
lifeless, Is caused by a lack OF sulphur
In the hair Our grandmother made
rup a mixture of Sage Tea and Sulphur
to keep her locks dark and beautiful,
and thousands OF women and men who
value that even color. that beautiful
dark shade OF hair which In 30 at
tractive, use only this old thine recipe.
70 Nowadays we get this famous mix
ture improved by the addition OF other
ingredients by asking at any drug
store for a bottle of "Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound" which dark
ems the hair so naturally. 90 evenly.
that nobody can possibly tell II has
been applied. You just demper .
sponge or soft brush with IL and draw
this through your hair. taking one
small strand at a time. BY morning
the gray hair disappears: but what
delights the ladies with Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound Is that. be-
sides beautifully darkenins the hair,
after a few applications. II also brings
back the gloss and iustre and gives IL
an appearance OF abundance.
Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com
pound is delightful toilet requisite
90 impart color and a youthful ap-
ypearance TO the hair. II IL not In
tended for the cure. mitigation OF pre-
vsntion OF disease.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
DRllIK HOT WAITER
E YOU DESIRE A
ROSY COMPLEXION
oays we can't help but look
better and feel better
after IN inside bath.

To look ones best and feel ones best
is to enjoy an inside bath each morn
ing to flush from the system the pre-
vious days waste, sour lamentations
and poisonous toxins before IL is abb
sorbed into the blood. Just as coal,
when 1t burns, leaves behind GER
tain amount Of incombustible material
In the form of ashes, so the food and
drink taken each day leave In the ALI
mentary organs a certain amount OF
lndigestible material. which IL not
eliminated, form toxins and poisons
which are then sucked. into the blood
through the very ducts which are In
tended to suck In only nourishment
to sustain the body.
If you want to see the glow Of
nea.'nY .uaun and clearer. you
15.I 20 drink every morning upon
arising, glass of hot water with q
teaspoonful OF limestone phosphate in
1t, which is harmless means Of wash
| ings the waste material and toxins
from the stomach. liver, kidneys and
bowels, thus cleansing, sweetening and
purifying the entire alimentary tract.
before putting more food into the stom.
| lch.
Men and women with sallow skins,
-iver spots, pimples or pallid com.
plexion, also those who wake up with
coated tongue, bad taste. nasty
breath, others who are bothered with
headaches, bilious spells, acid stomach
or constipation should begin this phos-
plated hot water drinking and are
assured OF very pronounced results In
| one or two weeks.
A quarter pound Of limestone phos.
phate costs very little at the drug
store but Is sufficient to demonstrate
thatt Just as soap and hot water
cleanses, purifies and freshsns the
skin on the outside, so hot water and
limestone phosphate act on the inside
organs. We must always consider that
internal sanitation is vastly more I'm
portant than outside cleanliness. be-
cause the skin pores do not absorb
Impurities into the blood, while the
7wel pores do.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
DRINK HOT TEA
FOR A BAD COLD

Get a small package of Hamburg
Breast Tea, or as the German folks
call 1t, Hamburger Brust Thee" at any
pharmacy. Take a tablespoonful Of the
tea, put cup of boiling water upon
It, pour through sieve and drink q
teacup full at any time during the
day or before retiring. It is the most
effective way to break q cold and cure
grip, as it opens the pores OF the skin,
relieving congestion. Also loosens the
bowels, thus driving cold from the
system.
Try it the next time you suffer from
a cold OF the grip. It is inexpensive
and entirely vegetable. therefore safe
and harmless.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
STOP CATARRH! OPEN
N0STRllS AND HEAD
Says Cream Applied in Nostrils
Relieves Head Colds at Once.

If your nostrils are clogged and your
head is stu He'd and you can't breathe
freely because OF II cold or catarrh, just
get a small bottle Of Ely's Cream Balm
at any drug store. Apply a little Of
this fragrant, antiseptic cream into
your nostrils and let it penetrate
through every air passage of your head
soothing and healing the inilamed. swol-
len mucous membrane and you get in
slant relief
All! how good it feels. Your nos
trils are open, your head is clear, no
more hawking. snuffing blowing; no
more headache, dryness or struggling
for breath. Ely's Cream Balm is just
what sufferers from head colds and ca
tarrh need. It's delight.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
HAS RESERVOIR or CIDER
Farmer kssps4t From FsrmentIno In
Paraffln cIstern.

Farmer ksspslit From FsrmsntIng In
Paraffln cIstern.
Princeton. ind.--Albert y. Dougau
has 1876 barrel cistern brimmins full
Of good apple cider on his farm four
miles southwest Of Princeton. Handi
capped BY lack OF barrels and the I'm
mensity OF his apple crop: Mr.. Dougan
had . huge scistsrff constructed.
1t was vel Tined with concrete and
. heavy costing OF pAraffin was placed
over the concrete. while'a regular chs
tern pump. new and clean. fitted close
ly over the top Then he started max.
Ing cider with his big mill. q pipe car
ryihg the cider nom the press directly
into the AcisteFp. where the paraffin
costing keeps the apple juice fresh
and prevents Fermentation.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
RUB B AAccKKAACCHIEE AND
LU|MBAGQ right OUT
Lab Pain and Stiffness away With
small bottle Of old honsst
St. Jacobs OIL

When your back lie sore and lam
or lumbago, sciatica or rheumatism has
you stlffened up, don't suffer- Oct .
25 cent bottle of old, honest st
Jacobs Oil" at any drug store, pour q
little in your hand and rub It right
into the pain or ache. end by the tins
you count fifty, the soreness and Rms-
ness is gone. =
Don't stay crippledi This soothing.
penetrating oil needs to be used only
once. 1t takes the ache and pain tight
out of your back and ends the misery
1t is magical, yet absolutely harmless
and doesn't burn the skin. y
y Nothing else stops lumbago, scistics
and lame back misery 30 promptly !.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
80 INEXPENSIVE LUXURY OF
TRAVEL

Do people realize how DooUs3v5s
receive for their money when they
purchase railroad OF steamship tick.
ct!
There appears to be . prevalent
idea that American railroad rates are
high. Statistics show that the aver.
age distance travelled by every reve-
nue. passenger who boards q train Is
"a miles and that for carrying this
passenger the railroad receives etc,
or less than &c q mile, as against an
average OF 3 IL charged aboard in
ordinary times. At this low rate of
less than &c the tourist In America
wants good road beds, oiled In sum.
mer in sections where the climate Is
dry and the bed sandy; steady. easy
riding cars. not built Of wood like
most of the European cars. but Of
steel: the protection Of intricate and
costly safety devices, the fastest en-
gines and the best service. He wants
passage on the most palacial steamers
with all the comforts Of home, at
prices that are source OF wonder
to the person who has travelled In 9th
er countries. The American tourist
IL provided with free timetables and
booklets Of information. The latter
while not necessary make the jour.
ney pleasanter--and the travellers
comfort must be considered always.
Anywhere from ten pounds to one
hundred pounds OF baggage for each
patron must be carried free from one
to 5000 miles or more. In Europe
the transportation of all baggage. ex-
cept that carried by the passenger. lie
charged for according to weight. Here
trains must be electric lighted and
have free ice water. lavatories, cleo.
trio fans, etc, and all for less than
&c q mile.
The pullman car traveller pays but
a small additional fee for his increas-
ed comfort. For Csc extra per hour.
during which time one can travel 35
OF 40 miles. the passenger can ride
In a luxuriously appointed car equip
ped with every convenience. He can
journey across the continent In sup
erb sleeping cars. with the privilege
Of enjoying by day. a free library.
writing and smoking rooms. and Is
given prompt and polite service. all
for the additional expenditure of
little over IL cent mile. 1t is safe
to assume that the passenger who
makes . complaint because Of some
trifling incivility or inattention on
railroad or steamer has given little
thought to the many things that are
done sratuitousiy for his comfort,
else he would undoubtedly write q
letter Of conmendation and be thank.
full that ne IL travelling In America
Kathleen Hflla In Leslie's.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
WAS FEELING ALL Run DOWN

Louis Buckner, Somerset, Va,
writes: al was feeling all run down;
tired, with pains in my back. After
taking Foley Kidney Pills felt like a
new man." Backache, rheumatic
pains, stiff joints, sore muscles,
swollen ankles, and sieep-disturbing
bladder ailments yield quickly to this
time-tired remedy. -Hite's Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
HAD THE GRIP THREE WEEKS.

With January comes lagrippe. Lin
gering colds seems To settle in the sys-
tenn, causing one to ache all over, feel
feverish and chilly, tired, heavy and
Dropping Mrs Lizzie Tyles, llender
son. KY. writes: "My daughter had
lagrippe for three weeks. gave her
Foley's Honey and Tar and now she is
all right. '--liite's Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
V|NOL CREATES
STRENGTH
Positive-Convincing Proof

1t is all very we'll to make claims.
but can they be proven3 We publish
the formula of Vinol to prove the
statements we make about it.
u Cod Liver and Beef p ptones, Iron and
- Manganese Peptonates, Iron and AM
monium Citrate, Lime and Soda 0iycero-
phosphates, Cascarin.
Any doctor will tell you that the
ingredients Of Vinol as published
above, combine the very elements
needed 10 make strength.
All weak, rundown, overworked
nervous men and women may prove
this at our expense.
There is nothing like Vinol to re-
store strength and vitality to feeble
old people, delicate children and all
persons who need more strength.
Try it. If you are not entirely sat-
isfied, we will return your money
without question; that proves our
fairness AM your protection.
HITE DRUG CO, East Jordan
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
SURELY HE'S A HARD sLGEPRR
Falls Two Stories, Walks Mile at 20
Below Zero and Doesn't Waksn.

New Leipzig. N. D.-To jump from
a second story window and sustain =
cash on the right side of the abdomen
then walk a mile 10 a neighbours farm
during 20 below zero weather. clad
In a nightshirt only. all while sleeping
sound, was the record established by
John Kuck, farmer here.
A physician was called and found
KucRs feet and legs were frozen. and
1t required several stitches to close
the wound In his abdomen. He was
taken TO hospital for treatment.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
SUMMED ~ RED HOT aWsr
Man ssafsd Frsm Neck to Hip by the
DoundIno Metal.

Altoona. PA red hot rive!
thrown from . furnace to Charles N.
HcCarl In the p. r. r. shops here.
struck the edge OF the bucket in which
he was catching the rivets. Dounder
and dropped down the back Of his
neck. soaring . SCARED patch from
head to hip. The rivet burned its way
out tara hii treussts,
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Young man. don't smoke cigarettes
merely for the purpose of killing time
Time will continue to do business at
the old stand long after you have
quit.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Altho the gas meter never fails 10
register il isn't allowed 10 vote.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18
DOG Unesrths Treasure

Yreks, Cal-After Hawkinsville had
searched for three years for the hid
den wealth OF Thomas Greenwood,
miner Of that town. Q dog uncovered
n
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

A wise married man never praises
the gown of another woman unless
his wife has one more stylish.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Ambition without pluck and snsy
~ Is q lot of bother.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

There may be times when It isn't
necessary to speak the truth--but ct
such times II Is usually unnecessary
to speak at all.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Lots Of people actually believe
that their troubles are interesting u
others. -
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

A stitch In time may cioss the
mouth Of a gossip.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Don't think because Il girl loves you
from the bottom OF her heart that there
isn't plenty of room at the top.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

A man doesn't necessarily feel girl.
ish when making his maiden speech.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Far better be on pleasure bent than
on pleasure broke.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

skirts should b. hslc hlsk enough
to escape the mud and low enough to
escape or1tictsuA.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

In Austria women are now employ.
ed 40 undertakers and grave diggers.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

The world hasn't mach use for the
mkn with = yellow stfsAk-unlesss the
streaK II pure gold.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

IT'S poor article that cant sst n
self inaitatel.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

It's a wise mining stock that knsva
Its own par.
Charlevoix county herald., 1918-01-18

Lsvs a assbly blind Y the sirl il
1ek
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22
TOO WEAK
 TO FIGHT

The Come back man was really never down-and-out. His weakened condition because of overwork, lack of exercise, i'm proper eating and living demands stimula- tlon to satisfy the cry for a healthgiving appetite and the refreshing sleep essential to strength. GOLD MEDAL Hasrlem Oil Capsules, the National Remedy of Holland, will do the work. They are wonderful Three of these capsules each day will put man on his feet before he knows 1t; whether his trouble comes from uric acid poisoning, the kidneys, gravel or stone in the bladder stomach Arrangement or other ailments that befall the over-zealous Amer iean. The best known, most reliable rem edy for these troubles is GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules. This remedy has stood the test tor more than 200 years since it's discovery in the ancient Ilabora,; tories in Holland. It acts directly and gives relief at once. Don't wait until ysu are entirely down-and-out, but take them today. Your. druggist will gladly refund your money if they do not help you. Ac- cept no substitutes Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on every box, three sizes They are the pure, original, imported Haarlem Oil Capsules.-Adv.
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22
Altogether.

"The average girl spends most of her clothes money nowadays on silk stockings-the finest, sheerest, cost Hest silk stockings-and on handsome, high-heeled slippers and on Nigh boots lacing clean up to the knee"
 The speaker was Brubaker Harmon, the Chicago advertising expert. He went on:
 Its the 1918 skirt that does it, the short 1918 skirt, the wicked 1918 skirt. Every girl you see, realizes today that a toilet, like photograph, Is altogeth- CT matter of exposure"
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22
TRYING TO PLEASE JOHNNY
Small Boy Couldn't Understand ob- jections Being Made to His
 Footing the Horn.

few days ago, there appeared in the News a letter protesting against noise near hospitals. The next morn ing n hospital patient heard 6 horn sounding loudly in front.
 "Therel" she said to her nurse, that's just what that fellow wrote about. If I were in the hospital of flee it would take me about three jumps to stop that"
 Tt won't take me more than four, " said the nurse, who had noticed her patients rising temperature.
 On reaching the door, she was sur prised to see seated alone in a machine a former patient whom she knew weX Il tiny Greek boy who was returned regularly for dressings by much in- terested social agency.
 "Why, Petew she exclaimed. Don't do that"
 Why not?" asked Peter innocently.
 Don't you know there are sick peo- pie in the hospital? Think how Johnny Ca former mate) must feel"
 "Gee!" said Pete in amaZement. "1t never hurt my leg when it was sick. was a-doin' it for Johnny. oils News.
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22
NOT TOO GOOD FOR 'ENERY
Something of Novelty in the Way of Funerals, but 1t Satisfied
 the Widow.

"'Ow are yer terday. Mrs. Jones" said Mrs. Mu<gins from the corner house, I'm very sorry to ear of the death of your 'usband."
 Yes, dead and buried, e is, too" said the widow. drying her eyes with the corner of her apron. "Eh! bless lm' gev i'm a good funeral; e 'ad sixty followers"
 'ow did yer manage to feed all uemF gasped Mrs. Muggins.
 . Well, ter tell yer the 'onest truth. hfs' Muggins, l couldn't get food no oW' an l didn't like to seem mean, cos Emery, bless i'm. was we'll in- Safed, Wen We come back from the cemetery l ups an tells 'em to go Oue Tor their tea. and then come back ere So to show 'cm it wasn't mean. ness took em all to the 'Ippodrome anu paid fg 'em. Poor Emery, 1t was a grand funeral but none too good for Hl' bless 'im"-London Tit-Bits.
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22
Ugh! Ca|omeI Sickens; SaIivates!
 Please Try Dodson's Liver Tone l am sincere! My medicine does not upset liver
 and bowels so you lose days work.

You're bilious! Your liver Is slug gish You feel lazy, dizzy and all knocked out. Your head is dull, your tongue is coated; breath bad; stomach sour and bowels constipated. But don't take saliyating calomel. It makes you sick: you may lose days work.
 Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver, which causes necrosis of the bones. Calomel crashes into sour bile like dynamite, breaking it up. That's when you feel that awful nausea and cramp- ing.
 If you want to enjoy the incest, gen tlast liver and bowel cleansing you ever experienced just take a spoonful of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone to- night. Your druggist or dealer sells you a bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone for few cents under my personal money-back guarantee that each spoon
The Nevada County picayune., 1918-08-22

full will clean your sluggish liver bet ter than dose of nasty calomel and that 1t wort make you sick.
 Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver medicine. You'll know it next morn- ing because you will wake up feeling fine, your liver will be working, your headache and dizziness gone, your stomach will be sweet and your bowels regular. You will feel like working: you'll be cheerful; full of vigor and ambition.
 Dodson's Liver Tone is entirely vegetable, therefore harmless and can not salivate. Give it to your children. Millions of people are using Dodson's Liver Tone instead of dangerous calo- mel now. Your druggist will tell you that the sale of calomel Is almost stopped entirely here.-Adv.