The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1916-1920, 1918-12-22

that he had never seen 90 many
parades in his life.
House" the President said sternly,
II deplore all this show and pomp. 1t
Is not compatible with the democracy
l am defending. You must have II all
stopped-just as soon az return to
America"
CrceI fetched the Presidents rails
coat. It proved to be a royal robe.
Good" exclaimed our waggish Priest
dent. NOW can begin to reign"
whereupon a crowd piled In, shouting
Long live the Kingl" M. wilson re-
buked them in this wise: Now you
Europeans might as we'll understand
that am not a king. 1 NEEDED all the
kings months ago-and won tho
game"
"sforxenthnu" Pleads for Ireland.
The small States clamored for self
determination. The Irish representa-
tive was Henry MorOenthaN tJames
p. Gillroy). In the accent Of County
Glare he explained that he was a d.
rect descendant Of King Morsenthau
OF that county.
Il didn't know you were an irish
man." said the President to the imper-
senator Of the ex-Ambassador to Tur-
key.
"Shure." insisted Norrenthau.
There's more Irish In me than there
will be Scotch In Gov. Whitman after
June next"
Brother GIllroy changed his whis-
kers and came back as Jeremidh
O'Lenrysky to plead with the PRIEST
dent: -Would you DO 90 kind, II you
don't mind, as to free Palestine so
that the Jews viii have q place to
go when the new income tax bill Is
passed."
"Jere," the President said, where
do you get Off to be pleading for the
Jews?"
"oh, am Just practising on them.
l got to learn how to plead"
Have you picked out nag for
jerusalem"
ooh, yes. Mr.. President, we want q
long green flag"
So went the tomfoolery until
another parade marked the end of
the Peace Conference.
The secret Of the Amen Corner's
omission Of its dinner last year was
revealed by Luther B. Little: -The
war was on and there was an urgent
need of tanks on the Flanders front"
In a colloquy with Tom Smith, Little
solved many riddles of the age. Free
dom Of the seas, for example, means
| that anybody may have the top of
! the seas but Burleson Is going to keep
THE lboi tom" The prohibition law
/ had made tho world safe for hypoc-
risy."
To Welcome the 69th Regiment.
Little reported that Mayor Hvldn
wanted to appoint this committee &c
welcome the Sixty-ninth Regiment;
Franz Won Rintelen. DR.. Dernburg
! William Randolph Hearst, George
| Sylvester Viereck, William Bayard
Hale and DR.. Rumely. The Mayor
wanted to know If this selection was
satisfactory to the Amen Corner.
We'll ask Lieut.. Col. Whittlesey to
tell him." Tom Smith ruled. and he
didn't need to explain that Whittlesey
was the go to hell commander OF
the Lost Battalion of the Argonne.
wa Hays (James w Gwin) wan
dered around in Boy Scout clothes and
assured Senator Lodge (Charles G
Hambidge) that the year 1916 had
demonstrated that no man with a
beard can run the Republican party
They squabbled until Tom Smith drove
Lodge out of the room.
you think the Republican ticket
will be elected in 1902" said the chair
man to Hays
at won't be ticket; It'll be a free
pass" The Republican candidate In
1920 will be Gen. Leonard Wood and
wen elect him on Wood-Alcohol
! ticket"
Which produced about as much ap
| plause as any feature OF this noisy eve
ming.
Eventually Charles r Murphy ed