davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

double time while Congress is already speeding up
so that its members can getfhome in time to repair
political fences.
He says the government has more clerks now
than II knows how to handle. OF course that is
the clerks fault II know" he says. "that 20 per
cent of the employees in the departments in Wash
ington. properly arranged could do more work than
is being done now"
Why should his talents be wasted5 BY all
means let him do this thing that he says is pos
sible. Surely he can be spared from Congress long
enough to straighten out the war work OF the
country.
He says that expert stenographers are being
brought here and employed at work which could
be done by an office boy, Look around, Mr.. Bor-
land, and see if you don't mean that the other way.
From what we have seen, office boys are being
brought here to do the work OF expert stenog-
raphers We know of messengers who are doing
the work of clerks in fact clerks every day but
those on which they draw their pay.
We would like to have Mr-Borland make an
examination of the postoffice service where his
methods are in force almost to the letter Just a
few hours devoted to that department and we will
find Mr.. Borland of the staunehest supporters
of increased salaries for government employees
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
One Of the Family.

Here is little story that was told at social
gathering by Senator Thomas S. Martin, OF Vir-
ginia as an illustration of how easily some people
can back out of difficult place.
Some time ago man was Dragging to friend
about the wonders of his cat Thomas the
greatest mouser in the country. he said, and moth
ing ever got away from him.
Shortly afterward the friend visiting the
man in question. He hadn't been in the house ten
minutes before he saw going across the
room with great activity. minute or so later the
mouse galloped back In the meantime the cat lay
asleep beside the radiator.
"Say, Bill" smiled the friend, - thought you
told me that cat of yours great mouser.
$50 | did," answered Bill. who hadn't noticed
the mouse. What about it,"
"A mouse has been rambling around the room
for ten minutes" said the friend, "and not once
has the cat looked up"
"Oh, that's our mouse" easily explained Bill.
lust let strange come in and you will see
what Thomas will do to him. philadelphia Tele-
graph.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
Borland Talks.

Geographically, it is not very far from Ken
tucky to Missouri, but there is a great distance
between representatives from each of these States
Judging from two bits of news which came from
the House yesterday
Representative Swagar Sherley, OF Kentucky
chairman of the Appropriations Committee gave
out statement the effect that it was practically
assured that government employees would be granted
bonus, to meet the present abnormal living cost
This statement needs comment. 1t is just; it is
has always fought for.
Almost simultaneously with the above
noupcement, Representative Borland OF Missouri
in speech before the House, demanded that the
government clerks should be compelled to work
longer hours The gentleman from Missouri want
ed this move to be made before any action should
be taken on increasing salaries He will not get
his wish, but his arguments are absurd though in
teresting.
He refers to the government employees as
"pampered darlings OF Uncle Sam" Does Mr. Bor-
land know that good many of these employees are
living in actual poverty? Does he realize that they
working for the same scale of wages as they
did fifty years ago? Does he know that living costs
have practically trebied during that time? Or has
he used his brain at all on the subject?
Quite learnedly, he handles the mathematics of
his proposition. He has figured out that by making
the government employe work one hour more each
day at least 1000 employees could be dismissed.
But why stop there' Figure along the same lines
and add two hours day and save 1000 clerks.
iour hours and save 10000 clerks. and so on. The
employees won't mind it They are willing to work
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
Thrift.

War savings stamps not selling as last as
those who originated the idea expected they would
but they need not be discouraged
An idea, like a seed, takes time to germnate
The campaign thus far hse been ably conducted
and the people thoroughly in sympathy-but
this is time of many things and the fruits OF
effort will come in a continuance of the effort.
To The Herald, anxious to do all it can to
help the movement the plan seems to lack the
thing necessary to get action-mainly to bring
it home to the individual.
Thrift arguments in the schools, distribution by
Boy Scouts made to appeal to children will secure
the personal touch necessary to success. We know
one little girl who has eschewed candy and gum
and nut sundaes so that she might help her Uncle
Sam. She has nearly $I2 saved-almost enough to
insure her SIS when her Uncle Sam gets ready to
pay.
Get the boys to their dimes and buy
stamps, advertise where the stamps are on sale,
interest the children and their elders will soon fall
in line
Empty the nickel savings banks and make your
pennies other pennies is the only way to save.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars are tied up in
petty savings banks earning interest-and right
under your little nose, children, is chance to earn
interest and help your country.
Your dime may save soldiers life, may
shorten the war, will for some ones brother
if not your own. Save, children. It's good habit
and you win be surprised how interested you
will become if you but start to do it.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
TRANSPORT EXPERTS
IN new QUARTERS
Quartermsster Department Division
Moves to Georgetown University.

The transportation division OF the
ousrtermsster Department Of the
army has moved into the new part
Of the Law school building Of
Georgetown University. sixth and X
streets northwest Six class rooms
and the main auditorium have been
turned over TO the government for
the period Of the war.
Retaining seven class rooms, the
law department will accommodate its
present enrolment. and others who
may enter school before the end Of
the second semester.
Before moving TO its new quar-
ters, part OF the transportation di-
vision was in the State. War and
Navy building. and the remainder
in the Ordnance Department an
mex. Seventeenth and c streets
northwest.
The university law library will be
kept intact. and provision may later
be made to have the War Depart
ment take over additional floor
space.
The transportation division is in
charge Of Col DaIlum. Quarter
master Department
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
Sly Shots at the SoIons.
ny THE OBSERVER.

The Filipinos themselves are anxious
10 go to war for Uncle sam, accord
ing TO the statements Of their lead
ers. They are ready for the passage
Of the Chamberlain bill giving them
permission to be called by Uncle Sam.
so they insist.
or course. the Fuller bill forbIddiue
mailing privileges to dailies Of more
than sixteen pages, Sunday dsflies OF
more than twenty-four pages ana
magazines OF more than 100 pages Will
not prevail. That MEASURE h Just
the same as deeply inferred. right
now. Glory be,
Senator Csnute Nelson ISN'T forget
ting about the home folks. Witness
his bill authorizing the Iogging Of
timber on the Red Lake Indian forest
in Minnesota
Representative Cary's bill allow
ing a referendum Of the District on
the question OF suffrage should find
instantaneous favor at the hands or
the Democratic party. whose leaders
claim the referendum as a party
child.
II takes q law TO authorize the As
sistant Secretary Of the Interior to
sign documents for his chief. Aud
. Senator Ashurst is willing 70 take up
enough time OF Congress TO get V
through 80 some Of the great amount
OF red tape OF the Interior Depart
ment may be severed and much more
governmental time shall be saved In
the years to come
Senator Jones. OF Washington.
wants soldiers free to do their duties
during the war without fearing the
descent OF civil suits upon them The
measure relieving them OF this bur-
den has just been introduced. and. ia
some form or other. may fnd mani
supporters.
In honor Of the late Representative
Gardner, one Of his good friends. Rep
resentative Britten. wants a torpedo
boat destroyer named after him 50
long as the United States navy shall
have such a kind of craft The suE-
gestion is commendsble.
Thirty dollars a month for all civil
war veterans who have attained the
age OF s. years. Little enough. at
| bSSAF NNlANltoS - opN ~ ANAANAAbNA
and the thought will not be lost.
either, that il won't be much longer
that we will have the honor Of pay
ing those old warriors for what they
did.
What can Representative Denton be
thinking about? The idea OF thinking
that the nation should reimburse the
laboring men who are thrown out OF
work during the cold, coalless days
That must be their contribution to
patriotism-what IL II does hurt. or
on them? COMMON folks like they
were not consulted about Il.
The oswego vote TO the front-Rep-
resentative Mott hath introduced .
bill establishing that city as a port OF
entry for the immediate transporta-
ton. without appraisement. OF duti-
able merchandise. II takes q whole
bill In Congress TO get the change.
Think Of it-and certain other CLERKS
OF the government. as Senator Till
man says. accomplishing mammoth
things while Congress frets and holds
its hands, and IL poverless to act
Twenty-Five Democrats voted for
the Hitchcock resolution asking for
the fve-day suspension Of the Gar
field coal order-and only sixteen
against It The party whip. a. crack
ed by Senator Jones, Of New Mexico.
apparently had little effect Or By
Ham Lewis.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
Substitutes.

The Germans are feeding
On substitute meat,
The flour they are kneading
Is substitute wheat,
Their cattle they fodder
On substitute hay,
And life's growing odder
And odder each day.
They smoke-with great loathing-
Their substitute weeds,
And substitute clothing
Is made for their needs;
They've substitute money
And substitute cheese
And substitute honey
From substitute bees.
They settle their quarrels
By substitute law,
Their substitute morals
Cause deeds that are raw,
Their car wheels are creaking
With substitute grease
And now they are seeking
A substitute peace.
And when they are peeved by
Real woe and distress,
They're tricked and deceived BY
A substitute press;
Their thoughts and their ways, too,
Arc sure to be odd
While Kaiser Bill prays TO
A substitute Godl
TBERToN BRALE
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Special Correspondent Of The Washington Herald
New York, Jan. A man who
knows the Broadway theaters has
commented on the passing Of the old
time comedian of the musical come
dies. The comedic talent used TO rest
mated periodically by a small red cleo
trio bulb or there were green whisk-
ers, knotty legs or tapping ears.
An audience will not laugh any more
when a comedian walks out upon the
stage wearing a wicker waste basket
for a hat and with one shoe six sizes
larger than the other. That glad
epoch is but a memory
When Pete Daily used to stroke
his fur overcoat in "a Straight Tip"
a stage hand in the wings emitted
cat news and the audience went wild
but now 1t would be bored. Arthur
Dunn, Francis Wilson. Frank Daniels,
DeWof Hopper, Jimmie Powers,
Frank Moulan. Johnny Ray and
Charlie Bigelow belonged to that old
school but those who have survived
had to change their tactics.
Jimmie Powers used to convulse his
audience by pretending he couldn't
move his right leg from a certain
spot and giving his knees extrayagant
wiggles in The Messenger Boy" but
1t would provoke no more laughter
now than the old grand inaugural en-
trance of the comedian effected by
swinging a balloon across the back
drop with the comedian himself dang
ling there from the seat Of his trous-
ers by the anchor.
The newer school OF harlequin must
make the audience laugh without the
aid Of a COW bell in the hands of a
trap drummer. without the help Of
such elaborate scenic strata gem as
were vouchsafed in the early days. In
the stead Of such erstwhile guffaw
breweries, the comedian of the pres
ent day, the comedians like Jolson,
or Hitchcock or Fred Stone must sub
sutute a genuine sense of comic values
and not little acting ability.
The comedian of today relies large
ly on the lines the librettist provides
for him and employs a real histrionic
skill and a practised voice infection
10 point them, to invest them with
comic air. to draw out of them the
last possible ounce of chuckle juice
that they contain. Most people well
come the new school comedian.
1t was a bright idea on the part Of
one of the great cinema directors. He
engaged Irene Castle-monkey and all
and then got David Belasco-he of
the Corinthian curves--to direct her In
a screen play. After this they en-
ployed shrewd press agent and Mr..
belasco issued an order that here
after the nimble-footed Irene must 60
through her rehearsals without her
South American monkey. a creature
which has already become a familiar
figure to New Yorks many midnight
frequenters of the great white es-
planade
Seen around the twOn: A Belgian
opera singer working as a tube con-
ductor. Mayor Hylan laughing at a
newspaperman's. story on the City
Hall steps. A celebrated sculptor help
ing boys model snow man in Cen
trail Park. A department store sign
reading: Patriots will carry their
bundles home" A woman carrying a
basket Of coal in a limousine.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY o. THE YEAR.
By John Kendrick Bsngs.
DREAMS.

What blessed gifts indeed are
dreams
wherein we travel fsncied steSms
Thro' strange romantic lands and
see
Things full OF wondrous majesty.
And then how oft our visions rise
Out of the long gone Yesterdays
The figures of LIES Stored Pare
The King. the Poet. and the sag
And make the humblest seem 20 be
with them in full equality.
And friends long lost TO mortal
sight
Come smiling TO us thro' the nixht,
A nd once again we feel the GRIP
OF some old-time compsnionship
That helps when we wake again
with smiles TO bear some cross 81
tcvra<x -
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
Have You Something to Say?
If So, Write to The Herald's Open Forum

All of u, at times have problem idea which we
wish share with the world You may share yours by writing
letter The Herald Write subject whatever, but try
keep the communication within 300 words Also on
but one side of the paper No attention viii be paid snony
nous communication If you do not-~sh your name to be
made public. make the request in your letter.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Griffith & Sanders, undertakers, OF Redwood,
Ohio, are the merriest pair OF whom we have heard
in some time. They advertise in the Redwood
Gazette: 1--WE thank our customers for their cour-
tesies and patronage OF the past year and hope
that our pleasant relations may continue"
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Government control OF the railroads. says
Prof Will Taft "is the most absurd plan eter put
together" The brewery or the life insurance COM
pany should send Will calendar. He doesn't
know it's 1918.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
BE EXPLICIT, PLEASE.

Simpson calamity escorted his Boz
ton hostess to the table. May J" he
asked, "sit on your riEht hand?" No" )"
she replied. II have TO eat with X
You'd better take q chair.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

A Muskogee, Okla, Indian remarked after kiss
ing the bride when he married the other day,
that it was the first time he had kissed woman.
We can see busy time for that bride.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

New York hotels. under the Hoover-
lied system Of food conservation. are
saving 60 barrels OF -four and more
than 100 tons Of meat every week.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

There are a number of government departments
that are not necessary to activities. Why not
include them in the new fuel proclamation?
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Coffee and tea are drugs in the same sense
that whisky, beer snd tobacco are, says Dr. Evans.
in the Chicago Tribune. "They make sleep rest
restful" Another cup, waiter-no sugar.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Mr. Garfield's order has heated up the public,
at any event.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

We have heard the rule. Now listen Tor the
exceptions.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19
THE OBSERVER.

william J. Bryan predicts that the
United states will be dry" ip two
years. - u
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

In honor Of the late Representative
Gardner, one Of his good friends. Rep
resentative Britten. wants q torpedo
boat destroyer named after him 50
long as the United States navy shall
have such a kind of craft. The suE-
gestion is commendable.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Senator Jones, OF Washington.
wants soldiers free to do their duties
during the war without fearing the
descent OF civil suits upon them The
measure relieving them OF this sur-
den has Just been introduced. and. ia
some form or other. may hnd manS
supporters.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Thirty dollars q month for all civil
war veterans who have attained the
age OF g. years. Little enough. at
best, Congress is apt to remember
and the thought will not be lost.
either. that il won't be much longer
that We will have the honor Of pay
ing those old warriors for what they
did
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Twenty-Five Democrats voted for
the Hitchcock resolution asking for
the ive-day suspension Of the Gar
field coal order-and only sixteen
against It The party whip. a. crack
ed by Senator Jones, Of New Mexico.
apparently had little effect Or By
Ham Lewis.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

II takes a law TO authsrize the As
sistant Secretary OF the Interior to
sign documents for his chief Aud
Senator AshUrst Is willing 10 take up
enough time OF Congress TO get R
through 80 some OF the great amount
OF red tape OF the Interior DEPART
ment may be severed and much more
governmental time shall be saved In
the years to come.
The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Representative Cary's bill allow
ing q referendum Of the District on
the question Of suffrage should find
instantaneous favor at the hands or
the Democratic party. whose leaders
claim the referendum as a party
child.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1918-10-22
HUNS FIGHTING
DESPERATELY IN
THEIR RETREAT
Allies Continue Their Drive Against
Strong Opposition Of the
Germans.

London, October 22-British troops
are now within less than a mile of
Tournai, Field Marshal Haig an
nounced today.
The Germans in that region were
driven out of oreq and the wood near
Froyennes.
The left bank of the Ecaillon was
reached south of Thiant, five miles
southwest of Valenciennes.
"As the result of local fighting dur
ing the night we advanced our line
to the left bank of the Ecaillon, south
of Thiante, the western portion Of
which is in our possession" said the
statement.
Further progress was made be-
tween Valenciennes and Tournai. The
enemy's resistance on this front is in
creasing.
"In the Tournai sector as the result
of sharp fighting last night, the enc
my was driven out of the village OF
orcq and the wood in the neighbor-
hood of Froyennes. We are now with
in less than a mile of the town"
British troops have reached the Es-
caut or Scheldt River on a flve-mile
front north of Tournai, Haig an
neunced in his special Belgian COM
munique today.
The British advanced about a mile
between the Escaut and the Lys, while
the French improved their positions
along the latter river.
The Germans, it was announced,
abandoned all their coast defense
guns.
British troops have reached the
Escaut between Bailleul, four miles
northwest of Tournai, and Helchin,
five miles northeast of Bailleul," the
statement said. I'VE advanced ocer
1900 meters between the Escaut and
the Lys. The French improved their
positions along the Lys.''
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1918-10-22
GERMAN REPLY
Being STUDIED
BY PRESIDENT
Prompt Action Of Those In Authority
Expected And There VIII
BE No Delay.

Washington, October 22-President
Wilson is expected to act promptly on
the new German note, the official text
of which was received by cable today
at the Swiss legation. Frederick oed-
erlin, the Swiss charge, arranged to
deliver it to Secretary Lansing as
soon as 1t could be deciphered The un-
official version, as received yesterday
by wireless from Germany, was dis
cussed by the President and Secre-
tary Lansing for several hours, last
night, but there has been no intima-
ton as to the Presidents attitude.
The general tone of the note, to-
gether with the sifinificant statement
that "the offer of peace and an armis-
tice has come from a government
which is free from any arbitrary and
irresponsible influence" strengthens
the belief here that there is a genu-
inc desire for peace. Like the first
note, this one is regarded in some
quarters as another step in the Ger
man plan of bargaining in the hope of
securing terms more favorable than
the unconditional surrender which
they are prepared to make finally if
peace can come in no other way.
If the President decides the note
calls for an answer, his reply is ex-
pected to go forward within a few
days, at the latest, while if no reply
is to be sent, that fact probably will
be made known Immediately. The
President, diplomatic authorities say,
is at liberty, with perfect consistency
to follow the second course, awaiting
fulfillment Of the German promises to
cease destroying passenger ships and
to cause no more destruction in retir-
ing from France and Belgium
Although the first part of the Ger
man note is regarded as an awkward
attempt to meet the conditions laid
down by President Wilson, for con-
sideration of an armistice, no one
here believes that an immediate ces.
sation of hostilities is in sight Gen.
orally the opinion is that the only
step possible at this time would ht
to sanction, with approval of alliet
governments, arrangements to be die
tated by General Foch in the field fol
the evacuation of France and Bel
GUM. AS any such arrangement ne
cessarily would safeguard the supre
macy now held BY the Allies, an arm
istice virtually would mean surren
der by the Germans.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1918-10-22
BOTH side RODS ON
c. & 0. ENGINE BREAK
Accident to One of the Big G. & 0.
Freight Engines at the Coal Docks
Here An Unusual One.

Yesterday afternoon while engine
912, handling eighty-fve loaded cars,
was attempting to back over the
cross-over at the coal docks to clear
for the fast train No. 3 from the east,
an unusual accident happened that
was never seen around here before by
any of the railroad men-the side
rods on both sides of the locomotive,
broke at the same time, completely
disabling the huge machine. 1t very
often happens that the rod on one
side of a locomotive breaks, but for
both to break at the same time is an
accident out of the ordinary.
The ward crew with their engine
was compelled to go there and push
the train over onto the eastbound
track in order to let train No. pass,
the accident delaying that train about
| forty-five minutes.
The wrecking crew from Silver
Grove came up last night and got the
disabled engine in shane and took it
to the shops for repairs.