The Washington herald., 1918-02-26
CHAPTER XVIII.
Staged Under Fire.

Three days after the incident Just
related our company was relieved
from the front line and carried out.
We stayed in reserve billets for about
two weeks when we received the
welcome news that our division would
go back of the line "to rest billets."
We would remain in these billets for
at least two months, this in order to
be restored to our full strength by
drafts of recruits from Blighty.
Every one was happy and contented
at these tidings: all you could hear
around the billets was whistling
and singing. The day after the re-
ceipt of the order We hiked for five
days, making an average Of about
twelve kilos per day until We arrived
at the small town of o..
1t took us about three days to get
settled and from then on our cushy
time started. We would parade from
S:45 in the morning until Il noon. Then
except for an occasional billet or bri-
gade guard we were on our own. For
the first four or five afternoons l
spent my time in bringing up to date
my neglected correspondence.
Tommy loves to be amused, and,
being a Yank, they turned to me for
something new in this line. taught
them how to pitch horseshoes. and
this game made a great hit for about
ten days. Then Tommy turned to
America for a new diversion. 1 was
up in the air until a happy thought
came to me. Why not write a sketch
and break Tommy in as an actor?
One evening after Lights out"
when you are not supposed to talk,
I impaired my scheme in whispers to
the section. They eagerly accepted
the idea OF forming a stock company.
and could hardly wait until the morn
ing for further details.
After parade the next afternoon 1
was almost mobbed. Every one in
the section wanted a part in the pro-
posed sketch. When l informed them
that 1t would take at least ten days
of hard work to write the plot. they
were bitterly disappointed. I imme-
diately got busy, made a desk out Of
biscuit tins in the corner of the bill
let, and put up a sign "Empey &
Wallace Theatrical Co." About twen~
ty of the section, upon reading this
sign, Immediately applied for the posi-
ton of office boy. 1 accepted the
twenty applicants. and sent them on
scouting parties throughout the de-
serted French village. These parties
were to search all the attics for dis
carded civilian clothes. and anything
that we could use in the props of our
proposed company.
About that night they returned
covered with CRIME and dust, but
loaded down with a miscellaneous as
sortment of everything under the sun.
TnaW 80 l. II fNr o
to start a department store. judging
from the different things they brought
back from their pillage.
After eight days constant writing 1
completed a two-act farce comedy
which 1 called ''The Diamond Palace
Saloon" Upon the suggestion of one
of the boys in the section I sent a
proof of the program to a printing
house in London. Then 1 assigned
the different parts and started re-
hearsing. David Belasco would have
thrown up his hands in despair at
the material which had to use. Just
imagine trying to teach a Tommy
with a strong cockney accent, to i'm
personate a Bowery tough or q
Southern negro.
Adjacent to our billet was an omen
field. We got busy at one end of it
and constructed a stage. We secured
the lumber for the stage by demol-
ishing an old wooden shack in the
rear of our billet.
The first scene was supposed to rep
resent a street on the Bowery in New
York. While the scene of the second
act was the interior of the Diamond
Palace saloon, also on the Bowery.
In the play took the part of Abe
Switch, a farmer, who had come from
Pumpkinville Center. Tenn, to make
his first visit to New York,
In the first scene Abe Switch meets
the proprietor of the Diamond Palace
saloon, a ramshackle affair which to
the owner was a financial loss.
The proprietor's name was Ton,
Twistem, his bartender being named
Fillem Up.
After meeting Abe, Tom and Fillem
Up persuaded him to buy the place,
praising 1t to the skies and telling
wondrous tales Of the money taken
over the bar.
While they are talking an old Jew
named key Cohenstein comes along,
and Abe engages him for cashier.
After engaging key they meet an