The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-29
BY DOLLY DALRYMPLE

/
| IF anybody were to ask me to name
! real, rightly. honest-to- goodness
'sulphite"-you know what sui
phite' is, don't you?-Somebody who
says things different from the plain
old. everyday. humdrum, ordinary.
common or garden variety of bro
mide"-Pd say, Mr.. Sidney Lazarus,
You know our friend Mr.. Gelett Bur-
CESS who is responsible for "the sui
phitic theory" later, believe. he called
his clever little. book, "Are You a Bro
mide?" says that in whole life time
we do not meet more than half dozen
| "sulphites;" of course it's nothing
| against a body, Mr.. Burgess declares,
to be a bromide" and your wife or
sweetheart, or mother or father is liza
BILE (more than 1iable) to be one, and
you go on loving them just the same
| because birds of a feather" you
know; but sulphite"-dear me, they
are as scarce as hens teeth! (Which
plainly goes on to prove that I am a
tfull-fedged, dyed-in- the-wool bromide
from that last expression, If nothing
else.)
Anyway. as I was about to say, I
| know about-er-er, we'll, say two
supplies in my whole long list Of
acquaintance, and Mr.. Sidney Lazarus
is the other one; for instance, just to
show You how clever he is and how
different he would say things from
anybody else. Suppose he was talking
Ill., -
quote the old bromide axiom: Love
| is of mans life. thing apart-'tis
woman's whole existence" But Mr..
Lazarus, if he happened to be talking
about "love," would say:
Love to a man is thing to start;
tbs woman's Undergraduates
Oh, he's clever--is this nice young
man, and he has contributed some of
his very cleverest witticisms and bon
mots toward helping to make the
"Camouhage Carnival next Monday
evening for the benefit of the tobacco
fund for our soldiers "over there" a
huge, big, thrilling, stunning success,
The job of furnishing a hundred
recipes" for everything that flesh is
heir to fell to Mr.. Lazarus and his
quick, nimble brain began to work
like house afre the minute he was
asked to assist at the "camoufiage
carnivaL' and he did it all so gracious
ly and so charmingly that Mrs. Ball,
the chairman. and all her committees
have wondered how they could have
given the carnival without Mr..
Lazarus
What was he asked to do? To write
100 receipts" for everything from
love to the mumps These recipes"
are to be sold by a group of the pref
| loo yir1c IVY nt 1,n
camouflage carnival, and Tn going to
give you a sort of notion of what
some of these recipes are like. but
don't you ever tell told you; honest
to-goodness, swear, on stack of
Bibles, cross your heart and spit on
the floor! All right here goes.
There's a recipe" (and remember
every last one of these recipes" came
from the pen of Mr.. Lazarus), from
Knox. Jr., which reads like this: How
to win girls love; be born good
looking; pretend to have a past; stay
single" And Mr.. Knox knows.
And nice Mr.. Morris Bush comes
along with an adorable recipe" for
How to stay single" Here it is: "One
lteaspoonful of pretended bashfulness,
one tablespoonful of backwardness,
three cups of caution, plenty of silence;
mix carefully and keep away from the
opposite sex"
Temperamental Mr.. Julian Dow gives
a marvellous recipe" for How to re-
gain your youth" This is the formula
he uses: Take Soothing Syrup for
breakfast, Mellin's Food for luncheon,
and chicken for supper"
OF course Mr.. Erskine Ramsay.
Buster" Brown and "the adorable
Murray" come in for big space as to
! recipes" for these nice men have had
long experience and nothing is so good