davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
The Uncomfortable Forties.

Time was when the middle forties
seemed an admirable age. One was
old enough to have learned a little
of contentment; young enough to Un-
dertake new things. 1t was an age
to take up golf seriously without Civ
ing up tennis. 1t was an age to re-
read Dickens, even to undertake Troll
lope, and still to watch the outcOming
magazines.
Now it's sad age-too old to be of
real use, too old even to be wanted,
but young enough to feel the pull. The
government doesn't ask you, or if it
does it rejects you.
Blessed and burdened with a wife
and family, the man of the middle
forties can't even ask to do the things
he dreams of doing. Single, he learns
of a blood pressure he never even
knew he had. Too old to march with
the parade; too young to stand con
tentedly on the sidewalk and watch
he lags along, hopeful that he will be
let carry water and ashamed to be
seen doing it.
Days like these one should be TWEEN
ty and well in it, or seventy, and Ger
tainly out of it.-New York Sun.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
What He Needed,

Little John, son of well-tO-do farm
err, had received many Christmas gifts,
among them pair of mittens from
his grandmother, linen handkerchiefs
from Aunt Ruth, a rain coat from
Uncle Bob and many other useful
things too numerous to mention. But
still little John was dissatisfied and
sad, and would talk of nothing but
Santa Claus and his expected visit.
When he got up Christmas morning
and found that Santa Claus had
brought him a new pair of overshOes,
a fine new geography, pencil and tab
lets, ear muffs, an orange and a bag
of candy, his disappointment could no
longer be controlled and he burst out
crying.
"Why, Johnny, Johnny" said his as
tonished mother, you have received
everything you needed. What in the
world is the matter?'
"I-I-don't need-any-of these
things" said Johnny between sobs,
"Cant-you-see, mamma, the thing
need is something to play with.'-In'
dianapolis News.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Old Phoebe News.

Culled from thePioche Record Of
March 2. 1S71-47 years age.
J. d. Minor, secretary of state, is
sued a proclamation, establishing the
county seat of Lincoln at Phoebe for
a period of three months. Phoebe peo-
pie happy.
Vigilance committee talked of
among some of the business element
The Record in a forcefIl editorial
came out squarely against such &C
ton.
Mortimer Fuller was "ontirme,l as
district Judge Of Lincoln county.
Four feet of snow at Hamilton
causing postponement of hremep's
ball
There wasS 800 miles os railroad in
operation in Nevada ard 500 miles
in California.
Badly Green cred a reward of
$40 for the return of his COW to the
Record Office
Eleven pound boy born u Mr., ana
Mrs. John Mccall. Dry Valley.
The editor was not teetot'er. lie
says: "McClusky knowe.h our weak
ness. He donated TO US n liquid that
we never refuse on any occasion, time
or place" And at midni rht on the
same day, says the eaitor. Pony Par
ker dropped in upon us and drew a
weapon, and we st,.l in and lined
him in several .r,nks of course.
No papers arrived in the iaall IRON
SILT Lake City and the editor wants tc
Know who is responsible for this ont
rage upon 5000 people, He hints that
the postmaster at Hamilton, trans
fer point, is the culprit.
M Kohn e Co clothing emporium
next door to Sans pavilion, advertis
ed a 80 day sale and said: I'VE chal
Ilenge competition and bid defiance
to the world"
Tom Keefe undertaken, advertises
Just above McCluskey's saloon. Al
work executed with neatness and dis
patch"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
The Statesman's Opinion.

1t was during a more or less secret
conference in Washington, just before
war was declared. Many prominent
men were present, both from the North
and from the South. The newspapers
naturally were anxious to get opinions
tirst-hand from the members of the diff
ferent committees, but found it hard
job.
One reporter finally fairly cornered
courteous Southerner--an elderly
man of the "old school,"
"Mr. Blank" said the reporter per-
suasively. Il would like to have your
opinion of the war"
"Well, sah" said Mr.. Blank very
courteously, II haven't thought of it
much lately. but I've always been of
the opinion, sab, that Lee should not
have surrendered Good evening, sab"
And he left behind him a thoroughly
tlaZed reporter.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Electricity to Help Insane.

Electricity as palliative or even a
preventive of insanity in its early
stages is receiving serious attention in
scientific circles, according to reports
made before the annual convention of
the American Electro Therapeutic as
ISOLATION.
1t was said in discussion that ex-
perts who are specializing in electro
therapy have achieved remarkable re-
suits in the case of melanchOlia and in
somnia and the restoration of normal
mental activities.
Most important results have been at
tanned in the treatment of melancholia
and other cerebral disorders" through
the use of galvanic currents. Results,
almost, if not quite, as encouraging,
have been procured by Philadelphians
in the correction of defects of the
vision by electricity after eye experts
had pronounced cases to be hopeless.
DR.. Alfred T. Livingston of James,
town, N. Y, warned the electro-therapy
specialists against extreme currents
detained through applying the cleo.
trode to the base of the nerve centers
of the brain.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Thrilling Employment.

There are few posts as thrilling as
those occupied by the modern torpedo
lieutenant and his men. The officer has
10 be an electrical engineer, scientist,
versed in chemistry, telegrapher, a
submarine mining engineer, a mechan-
ic, and various other things. During
action the torpedO-lieutenant must
s,;nd ny and wait, because the opening
ranges of modern naval engagement
are SO great that torpedoes cannot be
used. But when the torpedo bugles
sound for action the crews Immediate
~ repair below decks, load the torpedo
tubes, and again wait for orders to
lire.
For hours the officer stands thus,
watching the combat. Then suddenly
his chance comes. The ships close in.
There is good chance to put torpe-
do into an enemy vessel. "Snick !" a
dull kissing tells that the torpedo has
left the tube and is speeding towards
its mark. Then the tubes are again
loaded, and 50 it goes on.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Oriuin Of a Postal Custom.

I'VE steamship Oregon was lost Off
fire island on March IA, 1856. She
was rammCd by a cOastwise schoon-
er, remaining atloat for half an hour.
a time which made it possible to
save every person aboard. When her
mail was fiShed up and delivered the
pieces were stamped with state
mem that they had been in the
wreck, the first instance of prac-
tie which is now employed by d.
rretion Of the International Postal
Union. The credit for this simple de-
vice is believed. to be due to Edward
NJ Morgan, at that time in subor-
dinate position in the New York
post office, who foreSaw that few
minutes work with a rubber stamp
would forestall an infinitude of COM
plaint.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Morocco Maxine PROGRESS.

]. NJ. Macleod, British consul at Fee,
who was In London recently declared
that the progress made in Morocco dur
ing the last three years, in spite of the
war, has been extraordinary. The
trade, which was practically monopo-
lized by Germany before the war, has
now passed largely to France, who has
spent vast sums on the restoration and
Improvement Of Moorish towns and ru-
raj districts. Under the direction of
General Lyautey, good quarters, new
roads, and bridges have sprung up
where formerly only wilderness ex-
listed. The railway is another recent
addition to the Moorish landscape.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Indians MAKING Good Farmers.

The Indian in Canada who has given
the dominion government very little
trouble ever since he learned that the
mounted policeman was his friend and
"the tongue of British justice was
straight" is coming to be an efficient
factor in Alberta and Saskatchewan
farming. He and the swift-footed
moose that has been taught in the far
North Of the provinces TO work in har-
ness, are proof sufficient that while the
wilderness may be hard to conquer, it
is comparatively easy to cajole. Now
these Indians are helping to supply the
world with wheat and other grains.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
. The 20
Scrap Book
ALWAYS COOL AND POLITE
Not Even in Times of Extreme Danger
Can Naval Men Forget Their
Training in Difference.
Submarines, please, sir !"

Submarines, please, sir J"
So a correspondent reports, the very
young midshipman on big Atlantic
liner, who had had a long training in
pOliteness but a brief one in the perils
of naval warfare, recently announced
their danger to the passengers he was
sent to warn. He was cool, if need
lessly apologize for giving trouble.
The gentlemen he disturbed We're not
all Of them either SO calm or so cOurte-
Gus.
Even more painfully polite a London
journalist declares, was the retired
sailor who was serving as messenger
in one of the government offices in
London at the time of a recent air raid.
He knocked loudly on the door of the
nearest office, walked in unhurriedly
when summoned to enter, and an
nounced without haste and with pune
tilious Difference to the official in
! charge:
'Mr. Jones, have to ask you to be
good enough to stand by, as we have
had warnings of an air raid"
He added, bobbing a sailOrly salute
in the direction of the stenOgrapher
"And the same to you, miss
Neither of these little incidents
equals the historic instance of Brit
ish midshipman, sent to inform his
captain that a small blaze on the YES
sci, supposed to have been entirely sup
pressed some time before, had broker
out in new place. On reaching the
captains cabin he found that Officer
engaged in earnest conference with tn,
admiral of the fleet. The two officer.
did not observe the midshipman's en-
trance; he waited some moments, hop
ing for pause, but in the end had It
bring himself reluctantly to interrupt.
; "Beg pardon, sir" he observed apollo
geticalIy, but really the fire is 50 nea
the powder magazine"
They abruptly ended the conference
before he had ended his sentence
} Youths Companion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
This Is Probably a Chestnut.

Something's got to be done to get
rid of the mice in this house." de-
clared Mrs. Youngbride.
"Set trap for EN-" counseled her
husband, sagely.
"Never! l can't bear to take the
poor little nasty things out of trap.
I've got some poison"
"How are you going to feed it to
'em?"
''Im going to spread 1t on piece
of that cake l baked the other day,
and put 1t where they can get it."
"But that would be a dreadful
waste"
'I'll only use little piece"
81 mean 1t will be waste of poison.
Why not just let 'em eat the cake?"
Then she took the cake and charlie.
chaplined him with it.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
THE. FINANCER, THINKS
-. WELL OF E. e. ROBERTS

There have been many announce
ments of candidates, particularly OF
prominent republicans, for the posi-
ton of senator left vacant by the I'M
timely death of Senator F. G. New
lands. The candidacy of Hon. f. z
Roberts, the present congressman of
the state, seems to be received with
more favor than that of any other
candidate. Mr.. Roberts is one of the
most popular men in the state of Ne
vada today. His record in congress is
an excellent one He is a hard work
er and his honesty, integrity and re-
sourcefulness make him stand out as
one of the big men of the entire state.
Nevada needs a progressive republi-
can the senate. The mining inter
peculiarly needs a man of the wide
experience of Mr. Roberts who under
stands mining affairs so thoroughly.
| His experience in the lower house has
emnently fitted him for service in
the senate, and it is greatly to be
| hoped that the republicans of the
state of Nevada will nominate him
for senator at the primaries. If Rob,
erts is nominated he will win without
a doubt. His popularity is such that
! he can win against any democrat in
the state with the exception, perhaps
of Key Pittman. The editor has beer
a resident of Nevada for nearly foul
years, and has made keen study o.
the political situation during tina
time. He is convinced that Mr.. Rob
erts is the strongest senatorial timber
in the whole state, not only from
standpoint of politics, intelligence,
and integrity, but because he is abov,
all an honest man.-The Financier
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
The Whisky Instruction.

The Whisky instruction is the name
given to u small episode in the early
history of the United States. The So
allied inSurrectiOn was small revolt
II the western part of Pennsylvania,
Occasioned by the passing of the excise
law of March 3, 1891. 1t was the excise
tax on liquor that the revolters OBJ
jected to-another instance of the I'M
popularity of a new tax, and especially
# a new excise tax. The agitation
against this tax continued through the
years 1893 ana 1894. There was d
gathering of 1000 armed men to resist
the enforcement of the law, but re-
Sistunce broke down before the APP
nrOaCh Of federal troops sent to the
scene of the revolt by President Wash
iugton, who accompanied them part of
the way The principal leader of the
revOlterS was man named Bradford,
who fled upon the approach of the
troops. Only two persons were killed
in the "iusurreCtion' and these in
braWlS with the soldiers.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

"Good!" said the mOtorist. Jump
in"
First off" directed the pedestrian,
rs he took his Seat in the car: you
drive straight ahead the way You were
guiu" for about two miles"
When the two miles had been trav-
crsed he continued: "Now, if you'll
let me out here | can show you the
rest of the way without going along.
Just turn around and go back three
mis-, and there you are"
"i.y didn't you tell me that in the
first place instead of taking me two
miles in the wrong directionY demand
ed the mOtorist.
Il didn't want to hurt your feelings
right away by telling you you were 90
.ng in the wrong direction" replied the
other; land, besides, live htse."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Office Supplies
la Complete Line of Blank Books,
Tablets, Inks, Etc. Elegant Line
Eof the Latest Styles in Stationery.
Il Hendersons Drug Store Phoebe, New.
The Pneumonia Season

The cold, damp weather of March
seems to be the most favorable for
the pneumonia germ. Now is the time
to be careful Pneumonia often re-
suits from a cold The quicker cold
Is gotten rid OF the less the danger.
AS soon as the first indication of a
cold appears take Chamberlain
Cough Remedy. AS to the value OF
the preparation, ask anyone who has
used it.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Too Much to Ask,

sand l was walking along that lone
ly street, and an awful man jumped
out Of dark alley and kissed mel"
Heavens! What did you do?"
II screamed, and the man ran away
Then I went right straight to the viii
lage constable and demanded that he
find the man and arrest him. And the
constable said he would. He said he
had bloodhound that could trail any
criminal to his lair"
"And did he?"
"No. The constable said I'd have to
kiss the bloodhound, so that he could
get the scent"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Caliente News
Continued From Page /

l
Ter and Mrs Searls of Salt Lake.
Mrs. Edna Madison received first prize
and Bernice Wilcox second while w.
G. Coombs received first prize Tor
ren and Bob Lee second. Those pres
ent we're Mrs William Richter. Ma
dame Butterfly; Bernice Wilcox, Jap
anese lantern; LOttie SaVin, star
spangled banner Mrs. Lloyd Denton
and Veeda celia Pace, colonial girls
Mrs. Edna Madison, topsy, Mrs, Hew-
ston, halloween; Beth Himstreet'
spoons: Katie Denton, baseball play
err: Mrs. George Jeffs, school girl;
Mrs. Bertha Gallenour. Princess Win
nemucca; Mrs. Flake Dula and Mrs,
Bill Acklin, clowns; Mrs. Lucille
Pyan, Launcelot Gobo; Mrs. John
Wilcox. Launcelot's father Miss
Sarah I'm Obersteg, Ching Chong'
Mrs. George Warren, Caesars Ghost;
Teddy Warning, Joan of Arc; Jack
Coombs, Don QuiXote; Otto Olson,
Ponce de Leon; Bob Lee, Chip OF Fly
ing U.;Angus Blad, Mrs. Alfred Van
derbilt; Carl Pace, Mrs. John Jacob
Aston; Lee Pace. pinch hitter; Lloyd
Denton and George Jeffs, village
buns; Johnny Bandreau and Frank
Meeks, Sousa's band; Vincent Chavey
liberty; Lucille Reed, Martha Wash
ington; Mile Wilkes, Dolly Madison
Mrs. Lamb, Governor Boyle; Mrs
Fieldson, Sam Plat; Jack Myers
Mrs. o. II. Belmont; Billy Culver
we'll, french war bride;
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
The Governments Come. Down.

$50 you've got to file an income tax
statementT
"Yes."
"How glad you must be to have
made yourself rich enough to do that. !"
"You've got the wrong idea of me.
l haven't risen to the dignity of an in
come the government has merely low
cred it's standards to my level for the
purpose of taxation"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Knit a Sock

If around the house you're poking,
Knit a sock:
If you're standing by and croaking,
Knit sock
If you're only idly wishin',
And for compliments you're fshin',
II you think you have no mission,
Knit a sock.
If you cannot sail the ocean,
Knit a sock;
You can keep yourself in motion.
Knit a sock;
Though you cannot shine and glitter,
It's not fair to be gutter
Do not be an idle critter.
Knit sock.
II you'd make your burden lighter,
Knit sock:
II you'd have the world look brighter
Knit a sock,
II your lot YOU wish were better,
Make some soldier boy your debtor.
II you cannot knit a sweater.
Il. -,,
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Dependency Due to Constipation.

Women often become nervous and
respondent. When this is due to con-
stipation It is easily corrected by TAX
ing an occasional dose of hamber-
lains Tablets. These tablets are easy
to take and pleasant in effect.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

kindly saint, "but there We're SC many
mplaints-newcomer from earth
said it would take them so long to
play on them-that we decided to give
out player pianos instead. It's not so
bad, we find, when one gets used to il"
"And this is paradisew mused the
new arrival. "In the apartment house
where l last lived on earth l used to
kick because there were four of them
only four"
Here he sighed deeply.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

The Record has printed bills an
nouncing a big dance at the miners
Union hall on March IL. A feature
will be the music which will DE fur
nished by the famous Calionte Jazz
band
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Some Pictures.

Bill-You know motion picture INNS
showing the entire process of honey
making by bees have been made by
United States government expert.
Jill--ls that right?
''Sure, and they are said to be so
lifelike that the day after they were
first produced an epidemic of hives
broke out among the population"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

WANTED: Agent for Phoebe and vi
entity. Good proposition. Previous ex-
perience unnecessary Free school of
instructions. Address, Massachusetts
Bending and Insurance Company, Ac-
cident and Health Department, Sagi-
nav. Michigan. Capital $500, 900.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

Leo Dubois, who left last week for
Santa Quin, Utah, to be at the bedside
of his sick father, writes that the lat
ter is improving and is thought to
lie out of danger.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Knew He'd Have TO.

Bill-Don't you want to go skating?
Jill-No, | don't.
II thought you liked skatingT
$50 do"
Then why not come along?"
because I've been riding horseback
all day. and 1t hurts me terribly to sit
down."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

At Las Vegas last week a Hudson
and Dodge had headon collision
1t cost six hundred bucks to fix up
the Hudson and half as much to pat
the Dodge on Us te9t
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Good Advice.

"Why so thoughtfulT
us marriage failure?" asked the
pride.
"Opinions vary. Don't start with that
assumption, anyhow. Cou-
rier-Journal.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Mrs. Willard Smith has been call
ed to Salt Lake on business.

In these high and mighty times.
oh best beloved, travelling Is danger
Gus. A certain young lady left Salt
Lake with a new spring bonnet but
lost 1t before reaching Caliente. Prob
lem.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

u ldI ht ONtTlUOk,
he asked the way
to Blankville.
81 don't know
as l can explain
it very clearly
replied the pedes-
t ri a n. Sd ut If
you'll take me in
your car I'll point
it out to you as
we 90 along!"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

-
dow As and get
Y our p a y e r
piano"
The new arrival
seemed puzzled.
" NJ y pl a y e r
piano." he ejacu-
lated incredulOus-
ly. Il thought
Y u g We GU t
harps here"
I'VE did until
rarantlv " said the
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
His Hard Luck.

His Hard Luck.
$50 you're going home?" said the
old man to the wanderer.
"Yes I; tomorrow"
81 understand they are preparing the
fatted calf for your"
"Just my luck. The doctor has made
me cut out all fat foods"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

The V. ID. Literary society met at
the home of Mrs. Lucille Ryan on
Monday night, After the business
was transacted new member was in
itiated. The rest of the evening was
spent in dancing.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Her Ohiection.

Clara declared that she did not like
Santa Claus because he had such long
beard.
"Why, what objection have you to
peard?" asked her uncle.
81 don't fink deys sanitary" said this
little prodigy of the kindergarten.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

The attention of our readers is
called to changes in a number of ad-
vertisements in this issue of the
Record.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
Joe TAYLOR is back In town.

The Red Cross chapter has been
unable to get the two ply yarn for
socks, but has limited supply of
sweater yarn which can be supplied
to auxiliaries.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
No Use.

NO Use.
"Why amt We in favor O. strikin' fer
more pay?"
"Why should be? The more l get
the harder it is to hand 1t over to the
missus on pay day."-Judge.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

william Hammond was in from
Ursine Wednesday.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

II. f. Prudential had business in
Caliente Wednesday.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
INNOVATION DID NOT PLEASE
New Arrival Somewhat Disguised at
Change Made in the "Music of
the Spheres"

"Come right in" quoth st. Peter;
"when you have received your wings
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

The new Dodge belonging toWil-
liam Richter arrived In town early
this week.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01
HIS TWO EXCELLENT nElS0NS
Pedestrian Surely Could Not Be
Blamed for Not Putting MOTORS.
Right at Once.

The motorist had lost his way on a
country road. Hailing the first pedes-
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1918-03-01

recently" said tkS