Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-01-03
HUMAN INTEREST
In QUESTIONAIRES
Continued from First Page.I

Continued from First Page.[
low to give the details of their finan-
ces and matrimonial situation. But
everybody being in the same boat
this caution generally evaporates ana
men and women tell their life story
! presently with eargerness and merri-
ment.
did you say you live with your
mother-in-law?" asked one lawyer
who was having some trouble prob
| ing the case of a rather evasive con-
script. This surely did wake him
up.
Holy smoke, Mo-" he shrilled to
an echo. IF you ever clapped eyes
on her you'd never ask that"
The domestic relation feature gives
more work to the lawyer than any
| other. Unheard of complications
crop out. The questioner begins in
a moderate fashion with state
whether you are married, single, wild
| owed or divorced" Oftentimes there
is difficulty in Strengthening out this
simple inquiry.
You will have to find out when
you were divorced and who married
you to your first wife" was the de-
Aioiib. W q Ddu6SIeu lOOhlnB
youth who had lost all track of the
preachers name and even forgot
where he was married the first time.
You had better look UP that wom-
an" was the advice.
I'D sooner go to jail for the rest
OF my life," said he solemnly. THE
last time we met she cracked my
head open with a telephone receiv-
er."
Notaries Scarce
The boards wish to have it pub
lished that every man who has a de-
pendant must have that person ac-
company him because he or she has
TO set down q signature. This is
done right in the courtroom and
the scarcity of notary publics was
evident today. The boards would
take 1t mighty kindly If more notar-
les would volunteer their services.
The task is SO big that many per
sons have to wait a whole day and
many are consulting their own law
yers rather than endure this long
wait.
The only disease thus far not put
forth as an excuse for service, say
tho lawyers, is house maids knee.
The usual ailment of colored folks
is misery" This. like charity, COW
ers multitude of complaints. Are
you sound mentally and physically?
Are you blind, deaf, dumb, an epi-
| leptic, paralytic, insane, have you a
withered or deformed limb?" are
| fired at the visitor.
Has A Misery
"Ah don seem to haze any O.
them things, mister, bnut its more
| like misery of the back have"
One husky darky man after finally
| admitting that his misery might
not interfere with working for Uncle
Sam, was asked what service he pre-
ferred
"Ah don't quite get you?" he
screeched.
Infantry. artillery. aviation, what
DO you want to go tor"
What's that, now, artil--sah?"
Artillery? That's where they
say you are. That would just suit
Boss. if it's just tn same t. you.
[ got no anxiety to trifle wit them
| big guns. If you got job cuttin'
| meat, that would suit me heap bet
| ter"
Intimate Questions
Some tragic stories peep out when
such questions as these are pro-
! pounded: Have you ever been con-
victed of crime? If so give the
name of that crime, the approximate
| date of conviction. Are you now
| confined in prison or reformatory,
serving sentence or awaiting trial?'S
The last would seem foolish until 1t
is known that these questionnaires
will invade the prisons and jails.
Whether or not term in prison will
initiate against a mans reception by
the Army does not appear in the
missionaries. 1t is likely that
many ex-convicts are of the
mind that they will not be received.
A fine figure of youth came in the
other day and was going along favor
ably until the lawyer suddenly came
upon this line of inquiry. This man
turned very pale and chokingly said:
II didn't know they asked that. I'm
just out of Moyamensing, fifteen
years" He left abruptly before any
one could call him back.
Interpreters Busy
Interpreters have been kept busy,
and every now and then man shows
up whose lingo would puzzle the
skipper of the tower of Babel. Born
in this country?" they put to O
strange looking chap the other day.
"Ssxckribasky!"
Come from Russia?"
"Bullshevikiw
Finally it was discovered that he
had been born on a Spanish ship,
with German crew, somewhere on
the Atlantic ocean. but just what
his parents were will never be part
of history.
Not Slackers
1t should not be inferred that the
wives and mothers are slackers. The
boards understand perfectly well that
few wives and mothers care to see u
! loved one taken away when there is
some doubt of the family being able
to maintain itself. Offsetting the
cases of illness, fancied or real, one
sees many women who are only too
willing to make the sacrifice. SIS
your wife trained or skilled in any
calling?" often brings out a reply
! like his from the wife or mother.
Don't you worry, I'll make things
do. / can earn a living for myself
and the youngsters. Jim don't need
to stay home for us"
Inside and Outside
Subterfuges are very quickly un-
covered. A very serviceable looking
colored man complained that he was
weak from ''appendulex," meaning
appendicitis. (which side were you
A..