The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-11-21

Lest GU rOTBct
n SXGA Lest you forget
n % My face, $50 plain
~ Git often gives M
4 quite pain)
Lest you my home,
ly phiz forget,
I'm with you yet-I'm with you yet.
Some of YOU would have been glad
if ] hadn't come back. Yes. You
had said (like the fool in his heart
good radiance of rubbish"-but
others of YOU. felt differently, and
wondered whence the sweet voiced
bird had flown"-and as the old song
has it, viz: Strange, that summers
sunny flowers never seem one-haff SO
fair as when winters snowy pinions
shake their white down through the
air. So some OF you have missed
"Sunbeams.' I'm glad to meet my
friends again. TO those (first above
mentioneD | kill say Sunbeams are
not for such as you. Let 'em alone.
They are for people who have real
red. human blood in their veins, who
have learned to look above the petty
foibles of life and who look away
from the harsh, seamy side of life and
who live in the bright effulgent sun
light of the brotherhood of mankind,
who would rather give than take
away, who would rather suffer indig-
mites in silence than 'retaliate in
kind. | can't be with you regularly
as yet, but as often as conditions per
init | shall be glad to be factor in
your lives for pleasure or the re-
verse--as the case, may be.
l said to person t'other day that
I'VE had won glorious victory.
"Whadja mean we" says he, "wffat
part did YOU play" and just says,
says, |, look me over and see the
amount of grub I have saved for the
Allies (by Hooverizin)."
Can any of you tell me the differ
ence Between the Prince of Wales. a
bald-headcd man. an orphan child
and 4 monkeys mother? Don't all
speak at once. No? Well, III not
keep you in suspense. The Prince of
Wales is an heir apparent; a bald
headed man has no hair apparent; an
orphan child has nary parent; and
ha! ha! a monkeys mother is a
hairy parent. Il
n fellow who once fought deaf
and dumb man warned me never to
attempt the like. why" said I ].
what difference does that make?"
Just this" he replied, "a dumb man
can't ask you if you have had enough
and deaf one can't hear you holler
huff"
Kaiser Billie used to pull
His sisters hair for fun;
He used to shoot the pussy cat,
To see her jump and run.
The pussy's tail now stands out
straight;
The gun is laid aside.
His sister wears her hair in plaits
Since little Billie-abdicates.
l don't care whether you dignity |
the above verse by calling it poetry
or not--anyway, it's true.
They say if you tie heavy stone to
a mules tail he can't bray-hence the
brayless mule. 1t is also said if-you
tickle mules heel. etc. Like this,
4 small boy, straw and a mules
heel; biff!!-a new face in Heaven.
If you don't believe me try it.
notice that two women got into
'racas over cat and dog and one Of
hem q mean one of the women) was
shot. Amt that awful? That re-
minds me. Just be patient and listen.
A man once owned terrier dog.
A bob-tailed onery cuss;
And that fool dog got his old n,ar
In many,an ugly muss.
A woman there was--who owned r.
cat.
Who (thc- cat) fought at IS pounds,
And other cats got up and slid
When this tom cat came round,
The dog tried to chaw this (
Tomas" cat;
But the cat just wouldn't he
chawed;
He hoped upon the terriers back
And clawed and clawed and: {
clawed.
The man he ripped and cussed and
CAS- he grabbed big brick bait :
That he would be derned eternally
If he didn't kill that cat. l.
The woman allowed she d be best
If he did
And went for her old shot gun, a
Which she fired and peppered his =
diaphranl,
With bird shot, number one.
They carried him home on a Win
dow frame; Ii
The doctors cured him up. c
But--he never was known to fight ii
again;
NorLto own another pup. Is
-(Autlior Unknowr.> +
, conclusion will say that my rea- W
IN for this bunch of rot is ,twofold-
rst, as l said before ''lest you for