The Washington herald., 1918-06-10

Column in the Stars and Str
the A
A BALLADH or MATTERS KNOWN
AND UNKNOWN.
| Being an American version Of N.
Francois vilion's slangy baliadeD
Tn not simp; I'm not Joe;
I'm on when cream is full Of files
md by their clothes always know
A lot about these dressy guys.
know black clouds from sunny
skies;
I know q dead one from a pep:
know the phony from the prize
But to myself ! am not hep.
I'm Jerry to the fashions, bo:
make the clerics by their ties;
1 know the high birds from the low.
And cherry tarts from apple pies
I know the yeggmen and the Cys;
I know Both gates!" and Watch
your step!"
Know lne 6CuTDOuS IIOhn tuc tycs-
But to myself am not hep.
/ 4 know the sunshine from the snow;
The truthful man from him who lies;
know 1s from Doubie-O;
IfBen Davises from Northern Spies.
IL know some James who have some
eyes:
ID know the honey, from the skep;
- A..~G a. A-n
pBut to myself ] am not hep.
EENvoI
Prince, I am jeremiah Wise;
Grab IL from me. that is my repi
Excepting only this revise:
But to myself am not hep.
Speaking Of soda fountains, there
clerk for a glass Of plain soda. with
out flavor.
"Yes." said the clerk. without
which flavor would you like it,"
"oh." the customer replied. I'm
take 1t without strawberry"
The clerk looked among the syrup
bottles. Sorry" he said. Can't Go
it. can give 1t TO you without va
nilIa."
lT0 MOTHER AMERICA FROM HER
son.
Mother America. L. S. A.,
Western Hemisphere,
Dear Mother:
May 18th is Mothers Day, and the
boys are all celebrating IL by writing
| to their mothers. You are the only
mother have and so I am writing
to you.
I hear from you every day. as il
is really you who blow ReveiIIe and
Taps. and give me all that comes
between them; and l know you hear
from me through the papers every
| day. But there are things maybe
/ the papers haven't room TO print,
such as how 1 feel
Well, in a word, / feel great. It's
great to be up in the front line,
| where none Of us-even those who
are already at the front-spends more
| than about a quarter Of his time.
It's great TO be up there, with a real
| chance at the enemy. who actually
isn't trying TO harm me as much as
he is you.
It's you he's after, mother dear,
and it's you / think of-it's YOU all
OF your sons over here are thinking
of-as we go over the top. or wishing
it was our turn TO. That is why We
are doing our job as well as We are
doing it-which the French and the
British tell US Is pretty fair. The
knowledge that you are there think
ing and planning for US. with your
wisdom and deep love, is what makes
this whole game over here seem much
easier. That lie why it is so terribly
worth while.
| see by the papers that you ar
well and happy. / am doing m.
] best 10 keep you we'll and max,
Won much happier-because aftel
the war mother, you and i ar,
going 10 be happier than We eve
have been. We are going TO hav,
a new kind OF happiness-the earn
| ed kind. the broadest. bigges
kind. IT'S q fine war that gives III
that. even if it does keep me ava!
for a while from your lirSle ol,
dinner table.
Not that We don't get good eat,
here. We do. and all we want. AnC
the Salvation Army slips us dough
nuts and pies-and such doushnuti
and pies! Ma, you won't get mat
il / say they're at least as gooC
as yours. I'll say they are.
Well. mother. I'm no hand al writ
ing letters. so will close, hoping [,
see you soon-that is, SOON aftel
the war.
With all my love to YOU dea,
mother.
From your loving son.
| JOHN w. DOUGHBOY.
| P. S.-Remember me to an tn,
girls.
Pay s1.5oo.oOO yearly for Ga,
They Don't Get.-New York Even
, ing World headline.
Things sort of even up. oyel
here we get a lot OF gas the Boch,
has to pay for.
A doughboy's notion of a perfec
day: The war over. a box-seat a
the Polo Grounds next October, anC
Gen. Pershing throwing oH. tn,
first ball.
II Charlie Chaplin joins the army
as the cables say he is going 10
the Q. NJ. will probably have &
devise the issue of custard pie.
All OF us have had our shot a
stating Americas war aims, but oul
favorite is the Kansas man whI
says: Yes, but what good is YOU
wealth. or your honor. or your posi-