The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1918-01-29
Friday, Jany. oath.

We have been having some awful
weather down this way since last 1
indited a few lines to you. 1t looks
to me like the Bill Kaiser has. turn
ed loose the devil and all his an
gels and told them to run on mitt
Gott. Well, I have been having
hard time working on my water
pipes and income tax return. You
see that I am one of the biggest
incomers in this city on account of
being President, Treasurer, stock
holder and General manager of
three big businesses. Well, I knew
it would take sometime to get all
the threads of my income put to-
gether, but between freezings of
the pipes I managed to work this up
fairly well. The United States fin
ally sent special man here to as
sist me in getting things put to-
gether right. He said after we had
gotten all the incomes in, it was
next to get all the cutgoes out. As
it had taken all day to work up the
Gins" he said that he would come
up to my house after supper and
work on the "outs," but by close
questioning I found out that would
be expected to tell how had spent
all the money I had taken in, or
pay taxes on it., and found 1 need
ed a little time to get my figures
fixed, and then / saw no good rea-
son why l should call out before all
the women folks in the family ev-
cry dollar 1 had spent and what
for. Women should not know too
much, and I knew that my boy Sun,
would be on hands to make some
inquiries into every item of out
go as I called it out to the agent,
as he is going to be a lawyer, as
you know, and is practicing on
cross-examination now. Well, as I
was to be the witness, said to the
agent we will get off to ourselves,
and after writing it out, I will read
my statement as they do in the
Georgia courts with no cross-exam-
nation. ...,>, ...' 49,
We have been having some troub-
Ious times here with some of the
smaller income tax Nreturners. /
understand that an old friend of
mine, S. ]. Link, dealer in goober
hay, groceries, hump-back mules,
and furniture has run his outgoes
up to about twice his incomes and
has been running around town try
ing to hire a lawyer on shares to sue
the government to get a return tax
on what he spent more than he
made.
We lad several of the school
teachers up to tea the other evening.
AS I told you I am leading trus-
tee of the school down here, and |
have been laying for chance to
give myself an introduction to the
teaching sorority in this city. Well,
after slipping the tea gently for
awhile, at the close of the frugal
repast, when everybody was kinder
pushing their chairs back as if to
say that "everything is eaten up
and we will now repair to the sit
ting room" where 1 knew they
would enjoy several witty remarks
which Sun had planned to make, l
saw my chance. I had been all the
afternoon writing up the remarks
which 1 wished to make, and they
covered four pages of that large
stationery of mine which 1 showed
you with my picture as the poor
mans friend on it, and I had the
whole thing memorized, but Sun had
the paper so that if I forgot any
part of it, he could prompt me
while two or three who were in on
the game did a little applauding.
So, as stated, when everything
was ready, and the accustomed
pause was on just before one push
es back his chair while remarking
on the pleasures of the occasion,
took the corner of my napkin out