The Washington herald., 1918-01-19

Mary Must Have q Double.
"Jedge. cherry time All goes past
dat woman's doah she makes a
face at me. All axed her why she
vdid lit en- she tole me she wuz
swine put a crepe on NAH doah."
"Jedge," shrieked Mary Francis.
charged with making threats to
Rose Bailey. "Ahll tell 20 de
troof. All neber tole a lie In NAH
life.
Dis woman THINKS took her
husband away FUN her. De. woman
wot did take her husband looks
like me. Oats whar all de trouble
is"
It may be possible that there is
another woman in this world who
looks like Mary. 1t is extremely
doubtful.
However. Rose hasn't been able
to get a good nights sleep since
Henry, her hubby. packed up his
duds and flew.
From a description furnished
Rose by a neighbor, it seemed to
her that Francis was the woman
who led Henry astray.
Rose believed in safety first. She
didn't want to tackle Mary until
she was sure. Anyhow as far as
she could see. Henry wasn't around
Mary anyway.
The threat was voiced when Rose
stared too hard at Mary.
And as she promised the court
never to do ii again, she was re-
leased on personal bonds.
George Washington Frazier, Sarah
Alberta Maryin. Daniel Webster
Jackson and Louise Johanna Car
ter, all went to the movies wednes-
day night.
After the show the whole outfit
went around to Sarah's domicile
and played a little pinochle. Also
they drank a little hard cider.
When eleven o'clock came Sarah
yawned (probably as s<hint for the
rest to go home). Gs6rge poked his
finger in her mouth<at this moment
and Sarah playfully bit down on
it.
George then kissed. the bitten
member. Daniel reared up. He
thought the bite was a sign of af-
fection Of Sarah's part for George.
The two women. Sarah and
Louise. 'beat IL to the next room.
The hard cider was getting in its
work very rapidly.
Daniel threw a lamp at George.
George picked up the dining room
table and broke all the boards in
it over Daniels head.
Louise rushed to Daniel and put
her arms around his head. Her
breastpin stuck him in the ear and
he boxed her jaws.
George jumped him again. Sarah
ran out and got a cop.
George was pinshed. While Dani-
els head was being bandaged the
rest threw the cop into Mysteries
By trying to tell him what happen
ed and who did il.
The only way the court could un-
tangle the matter was by fining
George $40 and calling it SQUARE.
He Was Original, to Say the Least.
Imagine a man stealing a whole
battleheld-guns, troops, airplanes,
ammunition and all.
That is exactly what Charlie Shore
did. Even though he is not an ex-
pert stealer, he managed to turn this
trick.
Charlie carried his loot to the pawn
shop. The pawnbroker couldn't see
now he could dispose of a second
hand battlefield, and called in the
cops.
The Battle Of Arras." showing the
retreat or the Hun armies, was re-
posing in a metal case, minding its
own business, in the office of a To-
cal film distributor.
Charlie. employed therein as a por-
ter. found himself short of cash. To
satisfy his hunger and probably play
JOKE on both the allies and the
Teuts, he swiped the allied victory.
He had hoped that some pro-Hun
pawnbroker would lend him two bits
on the outfit. He was mistaken.
The court soaked him $50 and on
the recommendation of his emplov-
er, suspended sentence.
Oh, You Ignatx!
II it hadn't been for The prompt work
OF detective, the railroad situation
would have been more gummed I'D
than what it is.
Ignatz Brooks freight handler in
the Baltimore & Ohio yards, has a
tremendous appetite for chewing gum,
One day this-week he busted open a
case and swiped 80 packages-barely
enough for one days chewing.
Ignatz didn't see Sherlock Holmes
around the corner. This Sherlock had
sbeen up against many sticky PROPOSE
tons, but this was the worst yet.
Ignatz was taken to "the office" and
put through the third degree. The cops
found that he was cold-blooded. He
didn't care whether he bankrupted the
railroad or not.
lptp the lookup he went. Whilst
there, the poor railroad managed to
recover from the shock and prepare to
appear against him.
The court> highly disapproved Of
anyone abusing a poor, helpless
corporation. Especially little fell
low like the B. & o.
So IRuatz was compelled to shell out