The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1918-10-05

ant VINO SCRUBS the moor OF the audi
torial chambers, are profusely, even
excessively polite these nerve-wrack-
Ing campaign days..
The humblest voter now can have
anything within auditorial reach,
especially If the cost can be fastened
onto the kindly old county. County
maps, bearing the portrait of the
royal face, auditorial service without
stint and then pocketful Of imperial
campaign cards, freely and with
hearty thanks, are the portion of all
who will accept.
The aged autocrat of the court
house is very careful, just now, about
showing his royal teeth. Growls and
scowls are temporarily replaced by
smirks and smiles. Butter would not
melt in the royal auditorial mouth,
so bland, smooth and amiable has
the old autocrat become.
It's the kingly fashion for these
few campaign weeks to lift the royal
hat in salute, even to the porters
on the train, thereby pleasing the
porters but exposing the royal bald
spot to the misunderstanding breeze
of pale October.
Seekers for substantial favors are
given that old-time pat on the
shoulder and cheered with the kingly
words; Just leave that to me, old
man."
Those who leave it to the shifty
old monarch eventually end up with
. deadly double-cross hanging to
their humbled necks. But that's an
other story.
Just one short year ago, county
auditor Halden more easily forgot
that he was merely clerk to the board
OF county commissioners, therefore
nothing but servant of the people.
He very easily flew into royal rage,
forgetting that election would come
again. He forgot that Helmer John
son, a meek and lowly cripple, sick
In body and sore at heart, was one
Of his many masters.
When poor, sick, crippled, unfor-
tunate Helmer Johnson was quietly
trying to transact public business in
the main auditorial chamber and
awaiting the signature and seal of a
dilatory deputy to an order on
the county treasury, the autocratic
usurper of the peoples marble-lined
courthouse, "bawled out" the poor
patron of the place and ordered him
out of the auditorial chamber. He
then cursed the poor fellow most
wickedly and, despite his sick and
crippled condition, threatened to
"smash his face"
At the time, &he Rip-saw editor
publicly offered to contribute $25 to
the kings next campaign fund-the
campaign now on-if he would talk
to the publisher Of this great family
journal as he had talked to helpless
Helmer Johnson.
The Rip-saw editor did not have a
crippled right hand nor a body
wasted away by the terrible White
Plague, therefore the cruel craven
of the courthouse. did not attempt to
qualify for that campaign contrib
ution.
Waving all technicalities as to
time and place, that offer still stands
open for royal acceptance. But sick
rripples are safer for royal abuse
and battery.
Late in September, 1918, Helmer
Johnson was summoned by judicial
command to serve as juror in the
local district court. He obeyed,
dragging his sick and crippled body
TO the marble-lined courthouse and
serving three days on a jury with his
peers.
Needing the few dollars earned by
jury duty with which to combat the
high cost of living and feed his little
family over Sunday, Saturday morn
Ing, September "a 1918, Helmer
Johnson got his time from deputy
clerk WATSON, after which he pre-
sented the proper paper at the brass
wicket in the main auditorial cham
Der. II.
Good morning." Mr.. Johnson.
what can we do for you?" politely
inquired clerk Hansen.
I'D like an order for s9.40 for
jury duty" was the polite reply.
The man who signs this order is
not here at present." replied clerk
Hansen, but step inside and sit
down until he comes"
The sick and crippled citizen took
the seat designated and awaited the
convenience of the absent deputy,
prime minister Walker, by the way.
knowing that he was one of the own
ers Of the marble-lined courthouse as
well as one of the masters of the
auditorial forces, meaning no harm,
Helmer Johnson passed q few inno-
cent remarks with a couple of audi
torial servitors concerning the depar-
ture Of a big contingent OF soldiers.
While sitting there, awaiting the
pleasure Of the dilatory prime min
lister, and harmlessly conversing
about the sons Of st. Louis county
who had started on their long cru
sade to rip up royalty, attack auto
cracy and make the world safe for
democracy, Mr.. johnson suddenly
! was startled by gruff, rough and very
angry words behind his back, as fol-
lows:
IF you have any business here, we
will take care Of It. If not, the best
<ains' for You to do is to get out Of
y II