Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-04-10

Six loaves of fresh bread each loaf
of a different size. perhaps one out of
the six being as fiat as a pancake, the
result of an army service corps man
placing a box of bully beef on it dur
| ing transportation,
Three tins of jam, one apple and the
other two plum.
Seventeen Bermuda onions, all diff.
ferent sizes.
A piece of cheese In the shape of
wedge
Two one-pound tins of butter.
A handful of raisins.
A tin of biscuits. or as Tommy calls
them "jaw breakers"
! A bottle of mustard pickles.
| The bully beef" spuds. condensed
milk. fresh meat. bacon and "Macono-
| chic rati0ns" Ga can filed with meat,
vegetables and greasy water, had been
! turned over TO the company cook TO
make a stew for next days dinner. He
also received the tea. sugar. salt, pep
per and flour.
Scratching his head, the corporal
studied the slip issued to him by the
quarter Then in a slow. mystified
voice he read out, "No. | section. !"
men, Bread. loaves. six" He looked
puzzled and soliloquized in a musing
voice:
"Six loaves. nineteen men. Let's see,
that's three in loaf for fifteen men
well, to make it even. four of you'll
have to muck in on one loaf"
The four that got stuck made howl,
but to no avail The bread was dished
out. Pretty soon from a far corner of
the billet, three indignant Tommies nc
costed the corporal with:
what do you call this loaf of
bread2 Looks more like sniping
plate"
The corporal answered:
"Well don't blame me, didn't bake
it; somebody's got to get 1t, so shut
up until 1 dish out these blinkin' ra-
tons"
Then the corporal started on the
jam.
Jam, three tins-apple one, plum
two. Nineteen men, three tins. Six
in n tin makes twelve men for two tins,
seven in the remaining tin"
He passed around the jam, and
there was another riot. Some didn't
like apple, while others who received
plum were partial to apple. After a
while differences were adjusted and
the issue went on.
Bermuda onions. seventeen"
The corporal avoided row by say
ing that he did not want an onion, and
l said they make your breath smell. so
I guessed / would do without one too.
The corporal looked his gratitude.
Cheese, pounds. two"
The corporal borrowed a jackknife
(corporals are always borrowing), and
sliced the cheese-each slicing bring
ing forth a pert remark from the on
lockers as to the cOrpOrals eyesight.
"Raisins, ounces, eight
BY this time the corpora's nerves
had gone west, and in despair he said
that the raisins were to be turned over
to the cook for duff Opium pudding)
This decision elected little "grOus-
ing" but quiet was finally restored.
biscuits, tins. one
With his borrowed Jackknife, the
corporal opened the tin of biscuits, and
told everyone to help themselves-no-
body responded to this invitation.
Tommy is "fed up" with biscuits.
Butter, tins, two"
Mine in one. ten in the other"
Another rumpuS.
pickles, mustard. bottles, one"
Nineteen names were put in a steel
helmet the last one out winning the
pickles. On the next issue there were
only IS names. us the winner is elimi-
mated until every man in the section
has won a bottle.
The rattle is closely watched, because
Tommy is suspicious when it comes to
gambling with his rations
When the issue is finished the cor