davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
LUKE NI'LUKE SAYS

Being an intelligent man you nave otteh
noticed that the delay is always on the
other end of the line.
Always be punctual when you make an
engagement 1t will give you hair
hour Of leisure while you are waiting for
the other fellow to show up.
Once in while married woman Is
worked to death Once in while a
married man is talked to death.
| We hate to revise saw that has stood
the test of many centuries. But inc
| truth Of the matter is that love or other
peoples money is the root OF most evil.
There are so many nice dogs that it is
| hard for man to believe IN the theory
| of TRANSPORTATION of souls.
| You think that the biggest fool in the
world is the other fellow. And that is
l. just what the other fellow is thinking
| of you.
| You may not believe it. But the surest
way to please nobody is to try to please
everybody.
| Once in while you run into man
who doesn't suffer from the pangs Of re-
morse because his conscience has loSt
! its voice from overwork.
| Love is a wonderful thing. 1t is re-
! sponsible for most of the happiness and
lot OF the unhappiness in the world.
| Human hair is worth $50 pound But
many a man who is getting bald values
what he has on his dome at $50 per nair.
Another thing we know is that girl
never sits with her legs crossed so you
can see knee-high expanse OF stocking
unless she has those kind of legs
| One reason why we are fond Of the
heathens is because the heathens never
quarrel over religion.
~ l,;t. he Lit
of man who will knock off work and SIT
down and lecture you on the evils of lazi-
ness for two solid hours.
This is great country in which a lot
of men believe that liberty gives them
the right to do as they please and the
! right TO make their neighbors do as they
want them to do
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
DICKENS IN CAMP

DlSh Ems IN S<AHL
BY Bret Harte.
Above the pines the moon was SLOW
drifting,
The river sang below;
The dim Sierras, far beyond, uplifting
Their minarets of snow.
The roaring campfire, with rude hum
painted
The rudy tints of health
On haggard face and form that droop
and tainted
In the fierce race for wealth;
Till one arose, and from his packs sea
treasure
A boarded volume drew,
And cards were dropped from hands
listless leisure
To hear the tale anew.
And then, while round them shade
gathered faster.
And as the freight fell,
He read aloud the book wherein I
Had writ of Little Nell"
Perhaps twas boyish fancy-for /
the reader
Was youngest Of them all
But. as he read, from clustering ri
and cedar
A silence seemed to fall;
The fir trees. gathering closer in !.
shadows,
Listened in every spray,
While the whole camp, with Nell"
English meadows
Wandered and lost their way.
And so in mountain solitude-o ertakel
As by some spell divine
Their cares dropped from them like 1
nedles shaken
From out the gusty pine.
Lost is that camp and wasted all its III
And he who wrought that speIl?-
All! towering pine and stately Kent
spire,
We have no tale to tell!
Lost is that camp, but let its fragrs
story
Blend with the breath that thrills
With hop vines incense all the pens
glory
That fills the Kentish hills.
l'And on that grave where English 9
and holly
| And laurel Hreaths entwine.
Deem It not all too presumptus
| folly
This spray Of Western pine.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
MORE "KULTUR,

From the Youngstown Telegram.
The question how much boy or girl
is worth Is a much disputed one, but it
is not too much for German efficiency
to solve In connections with the work
of raising funds for Polish relief, the
the relief committee publishes a procla-
nation recently pasted on the walls at
Warsaw Poland, which reads:
"* The German government sug-
gests that mothers having children
should send them to Germany to be
brought up and educated Mothers who
are willing to make this arrangement
will receive the sum of $50 marks for a
boy and 100 marks for a girl. No other
aid will be given Signed
GOV. GEN. Won BESELER. i
In other words, the Prussian system
considers male child worth slightly
more than $50 and female child worth
less than $40. The mothers and fathers
of Poland are asked to sell their chill
dren outright, to be brought up in Ger
many as Germans. There is not even a
primitive humane purpose back of this
barbarous proposal If the children
could not be made useful Prussia would
much rather kill them, but with the
birth rate of Germany naturally de-
creased by the war and the death rate
naturally increased means are being de-
vised to find soldiers for further wars
and mothers Of soldiers for further wars.
Since these cannot be bred fast enough,
Germany proposes to buy them
Kultur and efficiency are wonderful
things. Their opponents would see moth
ing wrong in similar kind offers to
American mothers and fathers to sell
their children at $40 to $50 head.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
sDry" In Sumter

Il have never seen the rivers and
creeks as low as they are at this pres
ent time" said Banker Nichols of Liv-
ingston.
ut has been mighty dry down our
way for a month or so. The ground
is too hard to plow, but the crops al
ready sown are in good shape. Cattle
is still mighty good collateral in Sum-
ter. We haven't entirely turned our
backs on cotton, for we keep glancing
over our shoulders at it, but we are
facing toward corn. peanuts and velvet
beans as our sure-enough money
croDs"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
"scotty. Loves His Job

Eyes, I get lot of fun out of my
job as an umpire in the Southern
league" said our own "Scotty' Ches-
mutt, who is a truer harbinger OF
spring than is the bluebird, and very
much more colorful
I'm the first place, 1 love the game,
and then in the next place, it gives
me chance to satisfy my 'wanderlust'
In small and inexpensive way, for in
making tour of the circuit | get the
flavor of the pick of the southern
towns, and they are the most aromatic
in the land"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
A lPEsTIFERoUs PERSON

A lPESTIFEROUS PERSON.
Beware the loud alarmiSt
Who tells tale of woe,
Pretending to inform you
OF things you wish to know.
He's never been acquainted
With truth in all his life,
His mind with fabrications
About the war is rife.
He draws a gloomy picture
And tries to daunt your heart,
He's met on lonely byways,
In every busy mart.
Whene'er you hear him talking
Don't gaze at him in awe;
Laugh at his silly rawlings,
Or smite him on the jaw.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
WELL KNOWN MAN

From the Macon News.
The Russian bolsheviki have named
one Ioffe as ambassador to France, He
was the Russian negotiator at the
Brest-Litovsk peace conference and he
is also No. TAG in the rogues' gallery
of the French anthropometric depart
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
Member of the Associated Press

Member OF the AsSOctafeu TNtss
The Age-Herald is the only morning
and Sunday newspaper in Birmingham
carrying the Associated Press dis
patches.
The Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches credited 10 II
or not otherwise credited in this paper
and also the local news published
herin.
Ali rights Of republication of spe-
cial dispatches herein are also re-
served.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
HELP FROM THE KAISER

From the Baltimore American.
The Kaiser has started his big drive
|at time well calculated to make our
next Liberty Loan huge success; for
success it must be if we are to achieve
victory.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27

BEGINNING THE DAY-Give MS
eyes to discern ep0chs. We have
studied the crises of the past, we
behold them far in the future hung
on sifs'' and s'ands"; while every
day our feet stumble on them
every hour we meet them. God.
awaken me to the fact that just
now, Immediately before, at my
face, is the crisis. Amen.--H. NJ. 70.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
aJkztaXs48au1lI

S.-A good way to start is to get
in and help Joe Loveman and his CO.
workers raise the money for the girls out
at East Lake.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
THEIR FIRST THOUGHT

From the Tuscaloosa News.
.Bolsheviki ran true to FORM" says
the paragrapher of the Birmingham
Age Herald. You're eminently correct
they ran to the cashier and have been
running ever since.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
MEAN EVASION.

MEAN EVASION.
''Will you kindly place this cigar in
mouth and light it for me?"
Good heavens, man! Are you
lazy to lift your ARM"
mo. l promised my wife ! would
put another cigar in my mouth for
months PAUL COOE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
SCREEN HUNGER.

The appetites of movie fans
Are very seldom cloyed;
If they don't see a play day
They feel an aching void.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27

TELEPHONE
Bell (priyate exchange connecting
all departmental Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
THE SPIRIT OF WASHINGTON
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES

PROBABLY WASN'T THINKING
Il tried for an hour last night to re
Miss Gadders thoughts, but failed
mentally"
DO you mean to tell me she did
speak for an hour?''
Certainly not. She was talking
the time"
NOTHING SERIOUS
II had no idea Dubwaite was sci
fist"
"Why do you think so?'
HE tells me he's studying sou
waves"
"Umph He's merely experiment.
with new automobile horn he boul
the other day.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
MERE cAMQUFLAGE.

How did you happen to be taken in by
this fake concern?''
II was impressed by their luxurious
offices and the fact that they kept a
dozen stenographers-blon and bru-
nettes-pounding typewriters all day
long"
"And you supposed they were rushed
to death, attending to the firms bust
ness?"
Yes. but I found out later that every
one of those girls was tipping Lincoln's
Gettysburg address over and over again.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
washington bureau. 2o7 HibDs bulld-

ing.
European bureau. Henrietta street.
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms as 10
60, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The 5. e.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents Tor
foreign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
LAST STAGE.

Young Chumpson is attentive to NJ
Fadleigh."
Yes
rs he very far gomez"
buying blue automobile to match
eyes"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
y - -

spirit of love. how quick and fresh
art thou! Twelfth Night.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
HERE'S A NEW CUTTING STEEL

From the Popular Science Monthly
Word has come that is of much in
terest to American mechanics. The Eng
lish have recently invented strong and
superior high-speed steel. Such news to
the layman may mean little; but to
those who know it is as welcome as
the news Of a great Aand victory. Why?
Because that side which can turn out
war machinery the fastest will win the
war
With this new tool steel-"Colbalt-
crom," 1t Is called-engines and guns can
be worked faster without the added heat
that develops and affects hardness and
rigidity.
Tools Of this steel can be cast into
shapes, and casting is the quickest known
way of making any tool. There are few
steels, however. which by casting them
do not become brittle. "Colbaltcrom
STEEL nevertheless. can be made in this
manner instead of having to be forged
Land rolled. two very much lengthier and
more expensive processes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-03-27
A MORIBUND JEST.

A MOR1BUND JEST.
TT won't be long before Wen hear the
fanatics crying, Down with tobacco.' .
said the excitable man.
II don't know about that replied Mr..
Twobble, but If such cry is ever heard
in the land, the humorous tippler who
says he believes in putting down whis-
ky won't be able to apply that ancient
wheeze to plug cut"
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08

to which such supplies should be sent
he will guarantee the necessary trans
portation subject alone to interrup-
tions from blizzards and floods.
All officers and employees Of the
railroads, says the Director General,
now serve the Government and the
public interest only. He asks them
to get the spirit of this new era--a
supreme devotion to country and an
invincible determination to perform
the imperative duties of the hour,
cooperation, not antagonism; conf
dence, not suspicion; mutual helpful
ness, not grudging performance; just
consideration, not arbitrary disregard
Of each others rights and feelings
and an earnest desire to serve the
great public faithfully and efficiently.
TO save America, to save the world
from despotism, we must work to-
gether.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
CONVENTIONS OF INTERNA-
TIONAL UNIONS, 1918.

May 7, Joliet, ILL.,, Amalgamated
Association of Iron, Steel and Tin
Workers.
May 10, Chicago, Ill.,, American
Federation of Musicians.
June =, Pittsburgh, Pa, Interna-
tional Union of Journeymen Horse
shoers of the United States and
Canada.
June TO- st. Paul, American FEEDER
alton of Labor.
June 10, Baltimore, Md, Brother
hood of Railroad Signalmen.
June 1917, Chicago, ILL.,, Interna-
tional Stereotypers' and Electro
typers' Union.
June 10, Kansas City, International
Brotherhood of Bookbinders.
July 2, Toledo, O., American Flint
Glass Workers Union.
July 8, GAINESVILLE, o., Glass Bottle
Blowers Association of the United
States and Canada.
July 10, Pittsburgh, Pa, American
Federation of Teachers.
July 16, Cedar Point, Sandusky, o.,
International Protective Association
of Retail Clerks.
August 6, Chicago, H., Interna-
tional Typographical Union.
Sept. 8, Cleveland, Ohio, Interna-
tional Glove Workers Union of
America.
August IL, Scranton, Pa, Interna-
tional Union Of Steam and Operating
Engineers.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
GOVERNMENT CONTROL OF
RAILROADS.

Director General McAdoo has an
nounced that while the railroads are
under the control of the Government
it is futile to impose fines upon them
for violations Of the law and Of the
orders of the Interstate Commerce
Commission, and it therefore becomes
the duty of the Director General in
the enforcement Of the law and said
orders to impose punishment for will
full and inexcusable violations thereof
upon the person OF persons respOn-
sible therefor.
1t is also announced that when the
prompt public transportation service
requires it, employees will be required
to work reasonable amount Of over
time, but excessive hours of employ
ment will not be required.
Pending a disposition of the ques-
ton Of wages and hours, all requests
of employees involving revisions of
schedules or general changes affect
ing wages and hours will be held in
allegiance. The question Of wages
when determined will be made retro
active to January /, 1918.
The Director General states that if
he is notified Of the location of specific
supplies for transport to Europe and
the port or ports in the United States
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
THE MERCHANT AND THE
TRADES UNIONS.

We copy the following from the
editorial columns of the Labor Review
Of Dayton, Ohio:
"a large number of local mer-
chants are opposed to trades unions.
They don't know why, but in a
general way they are opposed to
organized labor for that perfectly
lucid and detailed reason which
clinches the argument advanced by
the average woman--"just be-
cause"
But few merchants cater to the
trade Of the poorly paid man who
receives a wage that enables him
to barely exist. Then why the op-
position to trades unions, through
the operation of which men receive
a larger monetary return for their
labors and are enabled to purchase
more comforts and necessities for
their homes? If it were not for
the organized labor movement the
wage-earners of Navton would be
on par with the peasants of Rus
sia. The employer may deny this
statement, but he knows it to be
true.
"The interests of the local mer-
chant and the interests of the
trades unions are identical. A
community in which the workers
are we'll paid and contended will
be found to be a community in
which the merchant is successful
and prosperous, and the wage
Garner is never contented, and is
very, very seldom well paid unless
he belongs to a trade union. So, in
the last analysis, the prosperity of
a merchant depends upon the sue
cess of the labor movement in his
particular locality"
We are glad to be able to say that,
With a few exceptions, the merchants
# Newark are in hearty accord with
labor, and the most cordial
onditions exist between them and the
many unions Of the city That they
i've up to their professions of friend
hip is evidenced by the liberal pa
ronage accorded the advertising col
INNS of the Leader. 1t is needless
0 add that our subscribers believe in
and spend their money
18th their friends.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
VIM. A. ASHBROOK HONORED.

Hon. VIM. A. Ashbrook has just
been elected as a member of the Ma
tional Democratic Congressional Com
mittee by the Ohio delegation, with
out opposition. His many years of
faithful service in the House, during
which time he has served as the
head of numerous important COM
mittees, have qualified Mr.. Ashbrook
to fill this important position in a
manner rejecting credit upon him
self and will enable him to render
important service to his constituents.
The Leader joins his many friends in
the Seventeenth District in congratu-
lating him upon his election.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
TO UNIONIZE NEGRO WORKERS.

The American Federation of Labor
has taken up the work of unionizing
the skilled and unskilled negro labor
which has migrated to Northern in
dustrial cities from the South as re-
suit Of the war. DR.. R. r. Morton,
Booker T. Washington successor at
Tuskegee, Ala, headed the negro
delegation comforting with the fede-
ration officials.
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08

What has become of the old-fash-
ioned wife who used to scowl when
her husband came in at night and
slammed porterhouse on the table
and who said: "For the Iowa Mike,
Henry, can't you think of anything to
bring home but meat?
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08

Buy Lumber now. Prices will be
higher. We guarantee satisfaction
The P. SMITH SONS LUMBER co.
L. 0. L. P. 2t
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08
ADVERTISING IN A LABOR
PAPER.

PRINTERS INK, the recognized
authority on advertising, after thor
rough investigation on the subject,
says:
"A labor paper is far better ad-
vertising medium than an ordinary
newspaper in comparison with circu-
latiOn. labor paper, for example,
having 1900 subscribers is of more
value to the business man who ad-
vertises in it than an ordinary paper
with 10000"
Newark leader. ([Newark, Ohio]) 1917-1946, 1918-03-08

The Leader is the workingman's
paper and is subscribed for and read
by a larger percentage of laboring
people than any other paper in New
ark. Advertisers are deserving of
patronage-and get it.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1918-05-01
AMERICAN GUNS
BLAST ENEMY
VILLAGE HELD BY FOE IS
ENTIRELY DESTROYED
BY ARTILLERY.
(By the Associated Press.

With an American Army on a
French Battle Front. e>day, April
30.-The situation along the Amer
lean sector gradually Is becoming
stabilized. There have been no in
fantry encounters III the last Is
hours, although small patrol par
ties or outposts have met in the
darkness and mist.
Despite rain and poor visibility,
the American and French artillery
have been most active in Smelling
enemy back areas. \ certain Amer
lean battery has been laying a heavy
barrage on enemy batteries and po-
sitionS around a certain village,
which has been virtually wiped out.
The German artillery Is less active
than on the days Immediately fol-
lowing the appearance of the AM
orleans on this sector. The Ger
mans are throwing some gas shells.
Weather conditions prevent aerial
activity on either side.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1918-05-01
PRUSSIAN NOBILITY
FEARS UPRISING
Won HERTLING AND OTHERS
WARN THAT REFORMS
MUST COME.

Amsterdam, May lin the dis
cusSion OF the Prussian reform bill
in the Prussian lover house Tues
day, Herr Won Heydebtand, CON
servative, declared that if equal sui
trage, as the government proposed,
was introduced, the character OF the
lower house would be changed, and
it would not be possible to longer
maintain the Prussian state as it is.
The unrest among the people
ought not to last much longer and
an agreement was quite possible,
said Herr Fricdber, vice-president
of the Prussian ministry.
Declaring that plutocratic sui
frage, giving political rights to
wealth is mo longer possible in our
nation" Chancellor Won Ilertling
has informed the lower house OF
the Prussian diet that it must pass
the electoral reform bill or give up
more rights to the people through
force. The chancellor threatened
the Prussians with revolution if they
did not meet the demand speedily
Feared Serious Disaster.
Apparently the chancellor feared
grave disorders ii the reform bill,
which he admitted was hedged
around with Safeguards to plutoc-
racy. is not passed. \ motion to
postpone action was defeated by
FIVE to one.
This is May day, generally time
for strikes in continental Europe.
There have been no inklings of pos
sible strikes within the central en-
pircs except call by the German
socialists of Austria several days
ago for a peace strike on May /.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1918-05-01
CONSCRIPTION POSTPONED
To Present Home Rule Bill First,
Is Belief.

London, May An order IN
council has been issued further post
poning the operation OF the ma
tional service act, or conscription,
as respects Ireland beyond May l.,
TO which it had been postponed pre-
viously.
Some of the morning newspapers
say the postponement is due to the
governments wish to introduce 4
home rule bill and to see what meas
ure of success it gets before pro-
ceeding to enforce conscrlptlon III
Ireland, which it is said in some
quarters is not likely to be attempt
ed in the next few weeks.
Opinion in the lobbies of parlia-
nent is that home rule bill Will
be presented in the house OF com
mons next week, but the difficulties
OF drafting it have not been over
come entirely.