davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21

1T is terrlDly serious tnlng TO Try
to explain joke. We can imagine no
graver esponsibility for mortal man
to take upon his shoulders. But Henry
f. Gilbert, the genial composer of
"The Dance at Place Congo" one of
the two American novelties staged at
the Metropolitan Opera House this sea-
son, is brave enough to undertake It.
Last week, at the Brinkerhoff Theatre
in Barnard College, he delivered<a long
and earnest address to tense and ear
nest university students in an attempt
to supply an exegesis for "Humor in
Music" and the suave George Cope
land illustrated With modern instances
at the piano.
Mr.. Gilbert loves joke himself. He
must have enjoyed hugely the bes.
joke of his career thus far-that of in
PRODUCING ragtime into the sacred
Milanesian confines of the Metropoli-
tan. But he also has an intellectual
curiosity which leads him to penetrate
to original sources and to philoso-
phze on the why. He speaks with au-
thority on the subject of primitive
music and speculates most interesting
ly on the development of his art. Be-
ing by nature practical joker him
self, he saves himself from disaster
when he discusses "Humor in Music" "
Perhaps this lecture itself was a prac-
tlcal joke. But for our part we shall
parse and analyze musical humor with
him as gravely as any Teutonic ped
ant.
To begin with, Mr.. Gilbert, having
his feet solidly on the ground, recog
nzes that the divine muse of comedy
demands no raretied libations. We do
her reverence when we step into .
puddle and spoil our ten-cent shine.
The Spirit of Comedy whom Meredith
so praises is a highly artificial lady,
society broke, and familiar with all
the parlor tricks. But Comedy, her
mother, or perhaps her other self, is
just a regular fellow, who loves the
barroom as much as the palace and is
nightly pleased when ones hat is
pushed down over ones ears.
Mr.. Gilbert starts his .speculations
where most civilized thin gs start-n
the human brain. A joke, he says, is
the jolt given to the consciousness
when anything occurs out of it's nor
NAL and expected order. The fun of
it is increased when it sets up a fam
tastic of bizarre association of ideas.
When a man suddenly slips on the ice
and falls it is funny. We need not try
to deny it; we laugh. But, now sup
pose that man had been engaging YOU
in serious theological controversy on
"The Fall of Man," and in the heat of
argument himself slipped and fell. The
incident becomes doubly funny be-
cause Of the aptness of the incongru-
Gus association.
Here Mr.. Gilbert departs for mo-
ment from his main thesis to point out
that tragedy as we'll as comedy arises
from this Eruption of the unexpected
If man slips on the ice and break,
his neck it is certainly not Joke, but
tragedy. A workman on a scaffold
seeking to put brick in place moves
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
He Washed His
Hands Of 1t All

"'Wcll. Die, if you want to! Iwash
my hands of the whole affair."
He shrugged his shoulders. I had
to go to bed on my glass Of milk and
vichy; and it is true that at that min
ute | would have seen him die without
opening my mouth-and with pleasure
Yes, with pleasure.
But that didn't prevent me fron,
going the next day to see the surgeon
major and saying to him:
'Mopsieur lie Major, don't operate
on that man. You will kill him if
you do. Last evening he ate enough
for three we'll men,
$50 they didn't operate on him until
the day following, after he had tasted
And he came through. went to see
him in his bed, and said to him:
"'Well, you're alive! That's good.
But you were a dirty rascal to take
the bread out of my mouth in order to
satisfy your own gluttony and voracity.
Never speak to me again.
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
Hun1or, Comedy, Fun
Expressed in Music
Henry F. Gilbert, Composer of "The
Dance in Place Congo" Discusses
Such Grave Questions, With Modern
Instances

clumsily, and the brick, instead of
nesting sweetly into its predestined
cradle, goes hurtling down to the
street. This is mildly funny. But if
the brick hits pedestrian on the head
the incident is not funny at ALL Henca
the same event, occurring out of its
expected course, may be comic or
tragic according to the outcome.
Now, in general, anything in a musi-
cal composition which occurs with
striking unexpectedness may be funny.
The classic, simon-pure example is the
Iortissimo chord which occurs early IN
the andante movement of Haydns
Surprise Symphony" Haydn is said
to have remarked, apropos of this
chord, "That is something to startle
the ladies' Mr.. Gilbert points out that
Haydn is wise enough humorist not
to repeat his joke.
But it will not do, Of course, to saw
that everything that is unexpected in
music is funny. Much must be unex
pected II music is to have variety, and
the character of the art is such thar
you cannot play fast and loose with il
lor the sake of an easy joke. 1t needs
something akin to genius to enable YOU
to crack your joke with perfect accu-
racy.
All in all, the examples of musical
humor which are purely musical arc
lew. Mr.. Gilbert finds that much
more fruitful source of fun lies in the
orchestra. He~points out that the or
chestratlon OF work, as apart from
Its composition, may afford MANY
good laugh. Rapid passages for the
tuba, frolicsomc phrases for the has.
soon in its lowest registers, Will al
most inevitably evoke chuckle from
the listener. One of the classic ex.
amples IN this class is the bassooa
phrase IN the dance of the rude me-
chanicals" IN Mendclssohn's "M;dsum-
mer Nights Dream" music.
Yet in both these classes the fun
lacks that precision and point which
makes what we know as a joke. Music
by itself is pretty abstract lam
guage, whereas the jokes which we re-
spond to readily are those concerned
with the very tangible things of every
day life. Hence the most fruitful
source of humor in music lies in the
ASSOCIATION of ideas-the linking up o.
music with the things of the actual
! world Some non-musical device is
needed to effect this liaison, such as a
title, az in Rameau's La Poule." or a
programme, as in Strauss's "Til Eulen-
spiegel," or spoken text, as in Wae-
ner's 1.-THE Mastersingers" Mr.. Gill
bert finds "The Mastersingers" a mine
of musical humor of all sorts. In nar-
tlcular he points out the pomposity of
the March of the Mastersingers. and
the trivialization of it when it an
pears in another form and a mora
rapid tempo. (Ths trivialization is
also carried out in mastery fashion in
the orchestration.) Again, there is
the admirable example of Beckmesser.s
serenade, with its awkward pauses and
Its slumsy SUGGESTIONS of fourths. But
IN all these instances Mr. Gilbert con-
tesses that the humor is so dependent
on subtle suggestions of the text and
the action that it is impossible to
separate the various strands and ana
lyze the causes.
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
His Grievance
By Pierre Mile
Translated by William L. Mcpherson
(Copyight 1918, by The Tribune As;ocction)

here IS humorous acar story By Pierre Mile. huxao
Is te sort OF h1nor achch out time of traged
goes oac to those tobles OF human nature cch external
experience eradicate. ~
Soldiers gre not ocay PARADE chen they avear
he Cfoa de Ge1re and the Military Medal That thing
Wch F1e1?e e competent Observer and artist
as he & tres @ mot to emphasize IN his felton, This
account OF the relations betceen the heroes 2cho
fell out the tAe of good dinner IN hospitaI duing room
bears the stamp Of reality 1t vhoesome all to think
OF our men Who tght not the mouie damatist pictures them
bat os they are, IN their ranshed naraless aud siplcu
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
He Didn't Know
The Case Was SO Grave

"He didn't know that, you under
stand. Or, at least, he didn't know that
the case was so grave. There was no
bluff about him. He really had no fear:
He could give me points on that. And
that is what attracted me to him; tor
at that time we were comrades; we
never quilted each other.
zone evening, before going down to
dinner, he said to me:
"'You know about the operation
my operations? 1t appears that 1t is
due tomorrow
81 could hardly restrain myself from
exclaiming: Oh, my poor friend.
81 was aware that he might not pull
through; and that saddened me. so.
on the contrary, said some words of
encouragement: 1T is nothing. believe
me- Look at me; l didn't suffer at all;
And now ! am all right again. 1t VIII
be the same with YOU
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21
Appearances Are
Often Deceptive

"But he didn't need any sympathy
from me. Hc was there, as you saw
here to-day, rubicund, portly, bursting
with health, us any one would have
said. And he was neither nervous nor
irritable. 1t is not his nature to be
so, any more than it is mine, although
| always have the appearance of man
who is just about to quit this world
But in my case appearances arc
deceptive.
"The menu was posted at the door of
the dining room, on slate, and 1T was
fine--split pea soup, leg OF mutton. po-
tatoes fried in lard and dessert. This
you understand. was for those who
we're not on diet or half-diet. Fol
them the hospital waitress consulted
a list made out by the surgeon, and
gave them poached eggs. or milk, OF
bouillon, or nothing at all.
81 knew | was not on diet. So
seated myself with confidence, and was
enjoying already the SAVIOR of the thick
pea soup. As to the wine, it was the
same. But the hospital waitress took
my half litre OF wine away just as
was about to taste it. And-what do you
imagine she handed me instead? A
glass of milk diluted with vichy. And
al the whila nay companion was stuttin2
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21

REAT HEAVENS How heartily himself
the fellow a lost what lit 1t this
do that
New-York tribune., 1918-04-21

II the fellow ate! | lost what lit
tie appetite I had. | could do
nothing but look at him.
In order to gorge more at his ease he
had unbuttoned his coat, on which gilt
tered gloriously the military medal and
the Croix dc Guerre.
When he had taken a seat across
from me noticed that he dragged
one leg slightly. He was a little bit Of
a man, and, in addition, thin and yell
low, with what one might call the air
of a shrimp. But neither his high
deeds, nor his shrvelled appearance,
nor his recent wounds caused him to
overlook the smallest mouthful.
a Goldfish Steak
With Apples
He had begun, in this little restau-
rant which adjoins the Bastille. by or
dering a Goldfish steak with apples, eX-
planning ingenuously and in a high
voice to the waiter who served us that
uC gave Cldt OIUSI UcCdUSC llitS uUUSG
served more generous portions of cod
fish than any other. Subsequently he
attacked vast chateaubriand, also
with apples.
Seeing him so spare and SO bloodless,
I was about to ask myself naively
"Where does he put all that" when
.uddenly he stopped eating. A con-
frere in heroism, his breast also
adorned with medals which proclaimed
his courage: but tall and strong, robust
and corpulent, amiable and rubicund in
appearance-in short, the living antlth-
esis of my neighbor-had entered the
room The newcomer appeared to rec
ognize the other, and said Good day
to him in a voice which betrayed a
strange embarrassment.
The one who was eating answered
"Good day." in the gruffest fashion,
and the portly comrade, without taking
offence, passed on and seated himself
at a neighboring table, but facing in
our direction. There was no other seat
vacant.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
FRESH GERMAN DIVISIONS
FAIL TO HALT BRITISH RUSH

into action against the Canadians and
were almost wiped out. Elements OF
five German divisions were found in
Trones Wood two miles west of Com
bles) while elements Of t6 battalons
were found on a three-mlle front else
where. Bandsmen, laborers and other
miscellaneous troops were found in the
front line.
II Is rumored that orders were found
on members Of the S7th division direct
ing them 20 practice rearguard actions.
I also heard a story that Germans were
cOncertedly waving handkerchiefs and
surrendering in the vicinity of st. Le-
ger "a mile and half southwest Of
Croisilles).
The Australians are reported TO have
peacefully penetrated a little nameless
wood south Of the Somme. Malsborn
half northwest Of COmbles) was taken
and the capture Of Maricourt -four
miles southwest OF COmbles) was easy.
Stories Of great stores Of German mu-
nitiOns captured at Miraumont (on the
Ancre) being turned against the Ger
man line are now also true of British
munitions which were captured by the
bOches last spring These were re-
covered at Pozieres and Moyen HILL
The Germans are still endesvoring to
stiffen the defense about Bapaume
where their situation is steadily grow
ing worse.
Summed up. 1t is apparent that the
Germans are fighting harder, although
1t still means to me they are only fight
ing for time.
One Of the amazing exploits reported
today probably equals anything the
well-worn SOmme fields have yet seen.
A youthful airman attacked ~ Fokker
planes which were not disposed TO re-
turn his fire and fed. He then fought
an inconclusive engagement with a
Fokker triplane. To wind II up he was
in turn attacked by 20 Fokkers, ~
above and eight below. He fired into
the nearest setting it aflame and was
himself hit. He turned the wheel over
to his observer who brought the ma
chine safely to its hangar.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
OYSTERMEN ASSURED
SHIPPING FACILITIES

TRENTON, N. j., Aug. 2S.-ln antlci-
patton Of the opening of the oyster
season on September 4 the New Jersey
planters have been wondering what
was to come in the way OF shipping IA
clllties. so badly crippled by freight
enlR argoes that heavy losses were sus-
s6fned last year. They have been Civ
en- Official assurance by the National
Food Administration, in cooperation
with the railroad and express boards,
that every possible means will be put
forth to get their products into the
markets in good time and by the most
direct routes. with all details looking
TO promptness in dispatch given every
attention.
This assurance came as the result Of
a conference held a day or two ago In
the Food Administration building at
Washington and in which representa-
flves OF the big industry In all parts OF
The country participated. Representa-
lives OF the express and radlroad COM
panies were also present, with officers
OF the Oyster Growers and Dealers
Association OF North America.
The conference was called by the
Food Administration for the purpose
of hearing the oyster shippers and de-
vising methods for removing the serl-
Gus obstacles which confronted the in-
dustry last year when the product was
lost in delayed transit or was held up
entirey by the freight embargo. The
planters made 10 plain from the outset
that It would be practically impossible
70 continue in business this year under
such conditions as hampered Il last
season President Kilhan, OF he
Growers Association, said a careful
survey OF the coming seasons possi-
billties in output indicated a total
movement OF 100000 bushels Of oy-
sters from the Atlantic Seaboard, con-
fined almost wholly TO Connecticut
Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey,
Delaware Maryland and North Carolina
with ad1ed products OF Mississippi
Alabama, Louisiana. Texas and Florida.
After informal discussion all the in
terests represented pledged through CO.
operation toward providing the best
possible service, although it was
brought out in the discussion that the
express cars viii be hard TO obtain due
10 the large number necessary in con-
nectlon with the movement Of troops
and the large number converted into
kitchen cars for troop trains.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
ALLOW MORE wheat
TO Go into BREAD
No More Wheatless Days
and Meals After
September |
UNIVERSAL FORMULA
FOR ALL THE ALLIES

WASHINGTON. Aug. 2s.-Universal
war bread for all the nations arrayed
against the Central Powers is provided
In new regulations announced by Food
Administrator Hoover, under which
wheat -four restrictions in the United
States are relaxed and the Allies given
bread containing more wheat than
they have since the early days Of the
war.
The regulations are effective Sep
lember and wheatless days and wheat
less meals will be discontinued on that
date.
Under an international bread policy,
formulated by the Inter-Allied Food
Council, in London, all bread made
after September 4, for France. Eng
land. Italy, the United States and the
other allies VIII be made OF mixed
nour containing eighty per cent.
wheat -four and 20 per cent. substitute
cereals.
All present baking regulations in
conflict with the new plan were res
oinded. including the half and half
NNnAANAAAnH mum NhANH W
householders and that permitting bak-
ers to use only seventy per cent. Of
their normal supply Of wheat flour.
All rationing Of bread among the Al
lied nations win be discontinued, and
plenty Of the new victory bread" is
assured the civil populations at a time
when the wheat situation in Germany
and Austria is anything but promis-
Ing
Ready mixed flour IN the proper
tions allowed by the Food Administra-
tion IN accordance with its milling
standards will be available for pur-
chase by householders, although these
are not compulsory.
They are urged, however, TO buy the
ready mixed victory flour. but where
pure wheat -four Is purchased, The
regulations require retailers to sell 20
per cent. Of substitutes at the same
time to each purchaser.
Ability to provide the Allies with |
he new bread and relaxation Of the re- |
strictions on wheat In America, oill- |
,ials OF the Food Administration de-
,lared today. was made possible by the |
sacrifices made by the American people |
IN observing the conservation program
of the administration last year, and the
bumper wheat crop raised by Inc
arfliers.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
BY LOWELL MELLETT.

United Press STAFF Correspondent.
WITH THE BRITISH ARMIES IN
FRANCE, Aug. 27.-(Nlght)-It Is easy
10 understand why the German stan is
confused by the Kaleidoscope events
in the constantly changing Somme
lighting line, which today's new attack
north Of the Scarpe makes close to 90
miles long.
The British method OF "hit and run"
with modihcatlons-that is to say, hit
and run II the running is good II not,
10 sit tight or drop back and hit some
where else-is bound TO keep the
Boche guessing lie often guesses
wrong, while the steady forward
movement Of the line as a whole con-
tlnues.
Reports Of today's battle are confus-
ing enough when reduced to cold print
where things always seem much sim
pier than they actually are. These re-
ports included the fact that the Can
adians had reached the st. Rohart
sugar factory, the farthest point cast
ward along the Cambria road reached
since the German invasion.
The German defense is stiffenlng in
the region Of CrOiselles. Our troops
got into Vaulx-VraucOurt -four miles
southeast of Croisilles and the same
distance northeast Of Bapaume) and
grabbed $50 prisoners, including five
officers. before they were forced to
withdraw. Others had the same expert
ence south of Bapaume, taking 7s
prisOners-in other words, Thilloy's
fangs have been pulled and its machine
guns Suppressed.
Deville Wood two miles northwest
Of Coubles) was captured last night
with number Of prisoners, was lost
and then retaken. Five enemy divi-
sions were identified over the wood
and machine guns were discovered all
over the place.
The Germans rushed up a fresh di-
vision by train yesterday to the de-
fense Of Cherisy 1.-TWO miles north and
east Of Croisilles. Two regiments got
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
WAGE INCREASE AT
BRIDGEPORT PLANTS
By The United Press.

By The United Press.
WASHINGTON, Aug. 2s-The national
war labor board today rendered its de-
cision in the controversy between Co.
0OJ workers in the sixty-six plants in
the munitions and related industries at
Bridgeport, Conn. The decision grants
wage increases to all the workers re-
ceiving less than seventy-eight cents an
hour; establishes a minimum Of forty
two cents an hour for all male workers,
skilled or unskilled, twenty-five years
OF age or over and a minimum wage Of
thirty-two cents an hour for all female
workers, Is years Of age or over grants
the basic eight hour in all the manu-
featuring plants Of Bridgeport; estab-
fishes the right to bargain collectively
and TO join trade unions; and provides
that women performing the same wopz
shal receive equal pay.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
YANKS IN SERIES
OF CLASHES THAT
CONTINUE ALL DAY
fConiinned From Flrst papel

Continued From First Page.)
% men held q bridge crossing the
Vesle while the others sought cover. All
attempts Of the German sto reach the
river were beaten off. AS fast as Boche
appeared near The bridge ne was cut
down by rifle and machine gun fire.
The attack on Fismette was made by
two parties. one from the northeast
and one from northwest It was de-
signed to force the Americans back
from a small, sharp salient which en-
abled our machine gunners to sweep
the enemy lines TO the east and west.
Our airplanes also were busy I'm tie
vicinity OF Fismette bombing the Ger
man infantry heavily while our in
fantry was attacking Bozoches. The
latter village was smashed and nearly
levelled by American artillery.
Evening journal., 1918-08-28
CONTRACT AWARDED.
FOR TWO new ROADS.
Continued From First Page }

ttOntlnued FROM First Page
Gi5is for the erection Of one bridge
and s3,26O.i7 for the erection Of the
second bridge.
The Blaisdell Contracting and En-
ginecring Company Of Brooklyn, was
a close bidder, it's bid being 81 1851
less than the Eastern Paving Com
panys bid The road which the latter
company offered 10 construct Is con-
crete base with asphalt top. The Brook
lyn concern offered TO build a con-
crete road.
The Blalsdell COmpany's bid was
S2O7, 1874. It had originally bid s2l7,-
1916. which included S7,l25si for one
bridge and S3,i53.5s for the other.
The contract for the two bridges
was awarded the Luten Bridge Com
pany, OF York, Pa, at its bid OF S6,97s
for one bridge and S3260 for the other,
a total OF Si0,23S. The Eastern Paw
ing COmpany's bid for the erection Of
the bridges totalled Si2,S76.95, while the
Blalsdell Companys bid totalled Si0,-
579.A2. .
Mr. Rock, after his company had re-
ceived the contract, said that work on
the construction of the road will be
started as quickly as possible, that the
shipping and assembling of its equip
ment will be started at once. The grad
ing viii then be commenced and the
work pushed rapidly.
we want TO get the work done this
fall. and this we will strive hard to
do, added Mr. Roc, adding that, how
ever, the difficulty Of obtaining ma
terials might be a great hindrance In
the work
The contract for the construction Of
a stretch Of one mile OF the Faulk
Road, from Blue Ball Of eement-con-
crete was awarded 10 the Blaisdel
Contracting and Engineering COM
pany subject 20 the approval of Alfred
l. dupont, who win bear half Of the
expense OF the Improvement. The COM
panys bid was sl6OO315. Alfred II.
Mcdowell Of Msn'shallton, was the only
other bidder for this work, bidding
S72, ,490l3 for a cement-concrete road.
the Same as bid on by the Brooklyn
The section Of the Lincoln Highway
viii be constructed with base Of six
inches with an asphalt top Of two
inches
The contract for repairs 10 Barker's
bridge was given to Elwood Talley, Of
this city.
Construction Of the one mile sec
tl0n of the Faulk road from Blue Ball
90 The Marsh road at the same time
the Philadelphia turnpike IS under
construction, Will seriously interfere
with travel north of this city. The
Philadelphia turnpike is now being
built causing travellers TO detOur and
the Faulk road is the detour used 10
reach this city. Unless in some way
provision is made by the builders OF
the Faulk road to allow traffic to pass
on part Of the road, great inconven-
ience will be caused