The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1918-09-19
SUN BEAMS S.

- should be careful il
giving orders. Children at times take
orders too blamed scriouly You will
pardon reference OF a personal ma
ture. When boy | went with III,
father in a wagon. We were driving
along a'road through the woods, as is
many stumps. was driving and, as
had been told that it took good
driver to hit "all' the stump was
dom my best to make good That. |
succeeded was soon evident, for
jolted the patience out OF Dad,
Lookin' ahead he saw pile OF rails
at one SIDE oi the road. Just at that
identical minute hit another stump.
Out OF patience and considerably
"hct up he pointed to III, rails and
said to hr, see ii you San drive
over that pile ri rails Bcin obed-
lent and anxious to please | didn't
do 4 derned thing but pulr on, and
drive over ,n, And So. while ad-
monish children to obey their parents
l would also advise parents To- use a
bit OF common sense i'll the directing
of their childrcn
What would you think OF life
long friend who would pull a joke
like this on you: hadn't seen him
for quite a bit and said to him,
you arc lookin' fine. So big and fat"
ayes" he replied, I'm heavier than
ever before You can't guess what /
weighed yesterday" Why" says |,
somewhere around two hundred"
20, no" says he Il weighed hogs"
If he don't enlist in the army before
| get up and about l'll-wcll, Just
wait--you'll hear. OF ii.
n party once asked. who was the
greatest fisherman mentioned i'll the
Rible! answered promptly.
"Ananias. 90. no." said the other
party, He wasn't fisherman"
We'll. mchbe not. say |, but you
must admit that he was some liar"
| heard al 4 dentist whose name
was Jump" In order. to let people
know when he was or was not IT
home, he hung a card on his office
door On one side OF the carA he
printed in big letters, lump i'll, And
on the other side, Jump out
Clever; LII say So. /
=. The best plan for the government
to adopt in order to save print paper
would Il Think be to cut war stories |
down to headline. That's about all .
there is to the story anyway.
l attended dcba,in' Sass,ety onct.
Rcin' shor, on speakers they asked |
me to l,ne in The question was.
RESOLVED, That Fire is More De
structive than Mater" When my
-, | fu-,.t, Ill III, ,.,ky
nifty OF CHESTERFIELD and said Tin
part) "accordn', to my Way OF think /
in il all depends on who is pintin the
hose"
Men and monkeys have many char
acterlstics iii common. But whereas
a monkey hangs from limb by his
tail, man usually is suspended from
a limb by a rope taround his neck.)
notice that tn, lilies are march
in on to a town named Laon. l
opine that when they arrive there
tina, their war cry" will be "La-on,
La-on MfDuit. and damned be he
who hollcrs 'kamerad'."
A person \who | don't like) asked
me- TO tell him the difference between
In accident and 4 misfortune Its
ike this says |. If You should be
'un over hr an automobile. that
would be an accident. but ii you
seren', killed, it would be miSic--.
une."
1t is said that Charity begins II
,ome." Now. | will admit that home
5 a good place for charity to begin,
Yes, but want to say (beiore for
.et III ,ha, home should no, become
he permanent, abiding place OF char
ty.
The Allies have taken Ham and mo !,
lot eggs Chauny don't quite
sabe" Chauny. but Sun,oSe il is 4
ubstitute for eggs.
Now, its perfectly proper to say,
Give US TODAY our daily bread" but
you wish to continue your freedom .
D the land which your granddaddyS
tole from the Injuns. don't include in {