Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-03-28
l63 INNOCENT OLD MEN
By CHRISTOPHER MORLEY

T FOUND Titania looking severely at her
L watch, which is a. queer little gold disk
about the size of a waistcoat button, swinging
under her chin by a thin golden chain. Tita-
MAS methods of winding, setting and regu-
lating that watch have always been mys-
terry to me. She frequently knows what the
right time is, but how she deduces 1t from
the data given by the hands of her time
piece can't guess. It's something like this:
She looks at the watch and notes what 1t
says Then she deducts ten minutes, because
she remembers 1t is ten minutes fast. Then
she performs some complicated calculation
connected with when the baby had his bath.
and how long ago she heard the church bells
chime; to this result she adds five minutes
to allow for leeway. Then she goes to the
phone and asks Central the time.
UIJULLo," said; whats wrong"
IL I'm wondering about this daylight
saving business" she said. "You KNOW
think it's all a piece of pro-German propa-
ganda to get us confused and divert us from
our military program All the women III
Marathon ar. talking about 1t and negiectine
their knitting. Juniors bath was haif an
hour late today because Mrs. Benvenuto
called me up to talk about daylight saving
She says her cook has threatened to leave
if she has to get up an hour earlier IN tne
morning. i was just wondering now 10 ao-
inst INV watch to the new conditions"
ats perfectly simple" said. put your
watch ahead one hour and then go through
the same logarithms you always do.
put it ahead?" asked Titania mrs. hor-
ola saws we have to put the clock back an
hour. She is fearfuly worried about It. she
saws suppose she has something In the oven
when the clock is put back, it will be an hour
oyerdone and burned to crisp when the
otnha nm
"Mrs. Borgia is wrong" I said. The
clocks are to be put ahead one hour. At 2
o'clock on Easter morning they are to be
turned on to o'clock. Mrs. borgia certainty
won't have anything in the oven at that time
~ night. You see, we are to pretend that 2
o.cIock ia really o'clock, and when we get
nm at o'clock It will really be o'clock
We are deliberately fooling ourselves In order
to get an hour more of daylight"
II have an idea" she said, that you won't
get UP at that morning.
"It IA quite possible" said. because
,ntend to stay up until 2 a. m. that morning
In order 10 be exactly correct in changing
our timepeces. No one shall accuse me Of
being a time Stacker"
rr,ITANIA was wrinkling her brow. But
how about that lost hour?' she said.
"yhat happens to 1t? don't see how we
can lust throw an hour away like that. Time
goes on Just the same. How can we afford
20 shorten our lives so ruthlessly? It's mur-
dsr that's what II is! told you 1t was a
German plot. Just think; there are a hum
dred million Americans. Moving on the
clock that way brings each Of us one hour
rearer our graves. That is to say. We are
throwing away 100, 100000 hours"
she seized a pencil and sheet Of paper
ond went through some calculations.
..rhere are $3.50 hours In year." she said.
.7eckoning seventy years lifetime. there
.ra $4,000 hours In each persons life. Now.
iii, YOU please divide that into a hundred
million for me? I'm not good at long d.
vision. ,,. "a. a.
with dociiity oio so' ana reported the
result
.srhere you are!" she exclaimed trium-
rhantly. Throwing away all that perfectly
sood time amounts simply TO numbering 1873
harmless old men Of seventy, or 326 able
hodied men OF thirty-fve. or 1880 innocent
,,ttle children OF seven IL that isn't atrocity,
That is? think Mr.. Hoover or Mr.. McAdoo
| or somebody ought to Represented"
was aghast at this awful result. Then
| on idea struck me. and took the penc. and
hesan TO figure on my own account.
D.I ook here, Titania." said mot SO fast.
| Moving the clock ahead doesn't really bring
| those people any nearer their graves. What
| Il does do is bring the end Of the war sooner,
| which u = nne thing. BY deieting hundred
| million hours we bring the end Of the war
| li.l1o years clossr. That's very encouras1ng
a. ought y hearten ~ = eertinue ~ etruG-
iss1|se i az wox y ~ I,nlrrs ~