Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1918-03-05
The Woman w Who
Changed
By JANE PHELPS
USELESS BRooDING.
CHAPTER XVII.


All the next day l brooded over what
my callers had said-and implied. 1 did
mot understand such talk at all, yet l
knew there was more meant than had
grasped. | was not silly enough to sup
pose an attractive man like George had
never paid attention to any one but
me. Or that he perhaps hadn t had some
sort of love affairs. Although he had
| told me that he had never asked any
one to marry him,
| | recalled that day. 1t was about
week after we became engaged. l had
told him 1 loved him; and asked him
some questions about his bachelor days,
simple little questions a girl like my
self would naturally ask, Had he ever
cared for anyone else!' etc. lie had
answered by saying:
81 have never asked anyone to be
Mrs. Howard. Ism t that answer enough
to your question:" and | had taken it
to mean he had never loved anyone
else. Perhaps men might care a lot for
someone, yet for some reason not want
to marry them. Oh, his life was so com
plicated! SO different from the simple
ifife at home. There seemed always an
undercurrent. Always things were just
beyond my depth. And Madge Loring
said such unsettling things. [ couldn t
ask George about things, especially
things connected with his life before l
knew him. He would flush angrily; call
it catechizing, tell me he had never en-
dured it and never would; that it irri-
fated him greatly. So instead of talk
ling things out, brooded over them,
more perhaps than was good for me.
A Faint Understanding.
1 had lived with George about eight
months. L was beginning to understand
him better, so see the strength OF his
passions, the quality of his moods, the
weaknesses of his nature. L was beginn-
ling to realize that he had been two men
TO me; the man l loved and married and
understood; and the man | loved and
did not understand, save family. 1t was
the sort OF feeling one has when they
lhayen't u seen a person for long time
and in the interim they have developed
unknown qualities qualities which puz-
zle and which seem to hold you away
from them.
Occasionally I would feel that he was
like the man l married. Then L would
be very happy. would seat myself on
the arm of his chair, and murmur gay
little tests close to his face; quaint
little endearments, while 1 patted his
coat anl sometimes kissed him lightly
while we talked.
But such times were now growing to
be almost things of the past. Sometimes
he would push me away, gently, with
remark that he was in no mood for
nonsense, Or he would look so severe, he
SO cold, and distant, that | had not the
heart to try to show my love for him;
Ielse was afraid to. Then he would stay
lout so many evenings. He belonged to
several clubs, and whenever we were
mot engaged FOR dinner or the theatre
he would go to some club and remain
until after l had gone to bed.
I used sometimes to get terribly lone
llv. That is one reason l was so glad
to know Evelyn Reeve. That was her
name she told me, and then we decided
that henceforth we would be Evelyn
and Helen to each other.
A Half Love Not Enough
1 often wondered if l possessed even
the half of what I gave in love to
jGeorge. knew that half would not sat
Iisfv me, yet was not l,use that even so
much was mine. Ever since the day that
Mrs. Loring had drawn the curtain OF
; Georges past life just bit aside,
had been in a sort of a doubling state
that made me most uncomfortable.
; Then too when we went out IN the
Ieveping. or had anyone at the house
; Ithev talked about operas, the latest So
ciefv sensation, some new dancer, OF
singer. Talked in such way as to shut
me out. 1t chagrined, and frightened
me. longed to grasp quickly the thlhgS
that George seemed so TO ADMIRE IL
others. I was willing to learn anwthlns
if only it would help me, teach me now
! to hold my husband.
Usually, too, George would prals'
{ these older women Praise them unstlnt
}. edlv. But scarcely ever did he praise
me: and when he did, I attached 81
, much Importance to it that instead OF
! comforting me, it made me unhappy
4 while waited for the next time wheI
$ he should be pleased, but which wal
, so long in coming.
Z felt that l WASH t suited TO thes'
| lpeople. to his world.I did not understand
, tbem And sometimes l thought l nevel
: would. | cried and worried good deal
I Would it always be so2 | must learn t.
] control myself better. would l use'
to declare vehemently.
Sometimes 1 Thought of how my gar
, friends said they envied me, marrying
rich man and going to live in a city
J wondered if they would, if they knew
, how lonely 1 was. How alone.
; Then, too, had feeling that Georg'
2 wasn't always at the club when l wa
alone. Call it woman S intuition-wha
= Won will-but often 1 felt sure that h'
3 was with those old friends of his IN
I stead of with me.
Tomorrow Happy Afternoon)
the local court. The decision Of thu