Evening star., 1918-02-24
A Literary War Coumcil

into that vast abyss he calls his chin.
That it?'
mot at ALL" returned Dumas. You
can't fight the modern Hun with thug
gerry, ChasS, because as thug he can't
be beaten. He is the most efficient Of
his kind. John L. Sullivan could have
thrashed Macchiavelli with his left
hand in an open fight, and in licking
sure to lose out if you fight him in his
own way. But il you fight him along
lines that he doesn't know anything
about, and can keep him guessing
Sykes couldn't do more than dent that
Potsdam crowd because he is only one
Sykes, whereas they are the sum total
of Sykes multiplied by their number.
But my Musketeers working along lines
of Gallo subtlety Of which the Doc.
Mung Doo-there you have it,"
Nom de Henry the Eighth" cried
Thackeray, siapping his knee enthus-
iastically. Il am inclined to think,
verge of the big ideal"
Well" said Dumas. draining his
schooner Of tabasco at gulp. Il think
so myself
"I should like to have a little more
said Dickens.
Very WELL" said Dumas, I'm agree
able. Here's how 1 see the possibili-
ties. To begin with I'd have the Pres
keteers. and address them thus:
Mes infants, la Patrie is in danger
II. l. NJ. fEmpereur de Tootonville,
Kaiser Billum the Twice, is threatening
ternite, of la belle France. ct il est up
to us to arrete- le grand boob before
he gives US all IL grippe"
To which they would unanimously
reply: 'Oui. oui, Monsieur lie Presi-
dent" said Thackeray.
"Nraiment sure" said Dumas
''Whereupon President Poincare would
say: Messieurs, you have never failed
in action. You recovered the missing
shirtstuds of the Queen of France You
have always extricated yourselves most
expeditiously from all kinds of trouble
Whatever quests you quested you
quested as requested. Today France
needs such men as you, and relying
upon your energies, talents, and fidelity.
l ask you in the nom de Joan of Arc
to get the kaiser and bring him here
to me. Allez-vous-en. mes braves,
bas lie kaiser. Vive la France"
"A truly Napoleonic utterance," said
Sir Walter Scott
YES" said Dumas "And what. then.
do you suppose they would do il they
were given SO inspiring a command?"
well. knowing them as l do" said
Dickens. with a wink at Thackeray,
my guess is that the first thing they
would do would be to kiss the presi-
dent and all the housemaids goodbye
on both cheeks, and then make a bee
line for nearby cafe, run by a cam
moufiage Frenchman, who Underneath
was the head of.a secret band of Ger
man spies. order a chicken dinner, pay
the landlord by running their rapiers
through his vermiform appendix. and
then by the use of said German spys
private credentials get through the
lines into Switzerland, and thence over
the border into Germany itself"
Exactly. Chass, exactly" said Du-
mas. You have studied me to some
purpose. as knew you must have done
the minute 1 read the Tale of Two
Cities" your most Dumassian, and
therefore your best. work" ga
We'll, and then whatT' said Sir Wal
ter Scott. stop talking like month
/, 1y magazine. and go on with your
story
"And then comes the working out OF
the plot" said Dumas. And then, dis
guised as four returning German spies
Aramis. as Herr Spitzenpoodle: Por-
thos. as Herr Porkenstein; Athos, Al
Herr Sauerkrautzen. and pArtagnan