The Washington herald., 1918-06-23
Nuthia' But Talk.

Nuthia' But Talk.
ledge, All Is dead cause my wife
talks me to death. De only time she
doan git de last word 10 wen she 10
talkin' to anudder woman"
Fortunately George Cherry never
heard Of the Chinaman who traded
his wife on for q graphophone be-
cause he wanted talking machine he
could stop.
Whenever Lille, bis wife. got after
him he used to stun his ears with
cotton and go down the cellar.
But lately cotton has gotten too ex-
pensive. George had to try some
thing else.
Lille came after him Wednesday
evening for leaving some unwashed
dishes in the sink after he had eaten.
George listened a minute and then
slapped Lille square in the mouth
Her teeth cut her Lip.
She had him arrested for assault
George never once thought that she
had the nerve to do this.
Lille swore that George had fire.
quently slapped her because she
talked to him.
"Jedge." said George again. de
only way All kin talk to nah wife
Is wid my hands. ies like de Jews do.
she woan gimme q chance to git
word in sidewise,"
That Is no excuse for sIapping her."
said the court. you can pay a fine
OF uNif you have 1t Otherwise 60
to Jail for thirty days"
TIVE Deadly weapons.
Jim Cissell Is a lock tender on the
a n. tn
He keeps q pistol around most of
the time to shoot at the German carp.
These carp hang out In the canal
and eat the bait that Jim throws
overheard for the elusive catfish.
1t was too dreary to fish on Friday
and so Jim got out his bottle and
drank himself to sleep.
He was walking down Twenty-sixth
street at the time and he dropped
right in his tracks.
Policeman Thompson came along.
He saw Jim At first the policeman
thought of sending for the morgue
wagon, but a Whit of the atmos-
phere around Jim changed his mind
The patrol wagon came instead.
When they searched Jim at the sta
ton he still had his pistol, all loaded
and ready for business.
There is hardly anything worse
than loaded man with loaded
pistol
That is Judge Mullowney's opinion
of it anyhow.
Jim is rather old. He ought to
have known better. But since the
law is no respeeter of persons. old
or young, the court had to punish
him.
Judge Mullowney fined him SIS.
Man-Afraid-of-a-w
One day last week, Patrick Gull
bertson whipped his wife, Sophie,
and she ran away from home.
She went to the house Of a friend
named Mary Tolliver. Mary wasn't
home at the time and Sophie sat
down in the parlor.
A man who roomed with Mary,
Tracey Jackson, came home late in
the evening.
He went into the kitchen and got
himself something to eat.
While he was there Sophie got
scared and ran upstairs and hid.
Tracey finished eating and went
up to his room to shave. He was
just about through when he heard
a noise under his bed.
With the open razor in one hand,
he raised the bed spread with the
other and looked under.
Sophie was dragged from under
the bed by the heels. She was hol-
lering to beat the band. She was
afraid that Tracey would cut her
with the razor.
Now this man Tracey was very
much shocked to ind a strange
woman in his room.
He turned. her across his knee
and whipped her like our mothers
used to do. Only Tracey didn't
use a slipper. He used a stick.
Why didn't you wait to fnd out
who this woman was before you
- '"-ed herr" the court asked
Tracey. -
's,lf-defense Jedge. self-defense,"
said Tracey. !
Thirty days suspended sentence"
said the court,
Spelling the Sabbath.
Last Sunday afternoon Margaret
Johnson heard commotion in her |
backyard.
She went cut to see what IL was.
She saw Bessie Spots and some
other girls making a palm garden
out Of her yard.
Margaret disapproved Of this
sort or thing and told the girls to !
get . wissle ON them and beat It.
Bessie refused to bulge. She was
calling on a friend who roomed
with Margaret, she said, and there,
fore she had a right to stay where
she was.
Margaret argued some more, Bes-
SIC cussed at her several times.
And the irst thing Margaret
knew an empty ginger ale bottle 4
nit her on the head. making q long /
She went into the kitchen, held
ser head over the siak ana wash 4
d and then hsadases her head