New-York tribune., 1918-02-01
Shoes and Ships
And Sealing Wax
BY BRIGGS

The world is war weary. The mil
lcnnium is at hand and Judge Daniel t
a. Dugan, Of the District Court of
Orange. n. j., is its forerunner and
prophet. When not presiding on the
bench Judge Dugan is Captain Dugan
Of company of the newly formed New
Jersey State Guard.
In his judicial capacity he recently
released a prisoner who thereupon
hailed him thusly:
Your honor, know that !Armaged-
don is almost over and the millennium
is at hand. I knew it just as soon
as | saw You leading your company
through the street the other day. The
lion and The lamb may not have lain
down together. yet said to myself,
but for the first time in history there
goes an Irish Roman Catholic leading
company Of Orangemen.
Father John F. Cherry. of the
Church Of the Sacred Heart. South
ampton. l.. l.. has appointed himself
spiritual district attorney and has an
nounced his intention of driving The
funeral gang" of his parish out Of
existence.
Amuscments are not many in South
ampton and many villagers have formed
the habit of dropping in on any old
funeral just to hear what the priest
would say about the deceased.
"No more funeral fans in my church, y
announced Father Cherry, and add
ed that hereafter he intended to
omit the eulogy and stick entirely to
the burial ritual of his church. There
is woe in Southampton.
Laborers on Governors Island have
been apparently laboring under the de-
lusion that Uncle Sam, besides being
their employer was also their haber-
e.asher When the men quit work yes
I :erday Lieutenant Johnston, of the Mil
itary Police. searched them. When the
ordeal was over enough soldiers gloves
socks. nccktics and underwear had
been recovered to start small quar-
/ tcrmastcr's department.
Mr.. A. Somebody's Husband. prowl
ing around Forest Hills, Long Island
Yesterday found a pussy willow, q real
one, sort of half shvly peerng over
the snow on the warm side of a knoll
This made him open his eyes. and or
the way home he noticed the poplar
buds unbuttoning their little browr
jackets.
WIZ he. got home and showed the
pussy-willow to Somebody's Husbands
wife the old gardener was there talk
ing about the parsnips and carrots anc
radishes and things that had to be
got ready. He took the pussy-willow
and twiddled it thoughtfully.
"Wel, we'll" he said. "a hard win.
ter an yerly spring. This here cat
kin. an. lookee, that there robin a
hoppin' amongst them barberries
Thems signs an circumstances, then
is"
Then Somebody's Husband and Mrs
S. Husband went down solemnly to
gether into the cellar and eazed at the
peck or so of coal down there. The,
they turned and fell unon each other.
neck and wept. And the cricket who
had been snuggled up all winter be
hind the ashcan thought the sprin:
floods had come.
When Mrs Emile Coigny Thomso,
fell while entering the St. Louis. Mo
courthouse to-. obtain a marriage Ii
cense, her fance. II. E. Whitake,
! thought his plans for an immediat
wedding had gone glimmering. for sh
broke bone in her foot. Mrs. Thom
son insisted on proceeding and gettin
the license, but her suffering becam
so severe that she was taken, TO
hospital. After the foot was bar
daged she insisted on returning to he
b home, where the wedding was ceIe
brated. The bride wore going ava
e costume and carried crutch.
+. The rocky neart of New England
: more adamant than ever before. ae
cording to Christopher j. Carven, c
Boston, engineer in charge OF the waite
- service. which recently gave out j
: many sections of the city. Mr.. Carve
X had to dig through six feet OF har,
frozen ground in many places. Eros
4 has never penetrated so deeply, accoro
. ing to records here.
+ The story of 5000 miles was neye
: told more dramatically than on the firs
page of the evening newspapers yes
: terday.
Screaming across eight columns,
two-line head, heavy with black in
h told of two American soldiers killed
the trenches as result of an attac
y by the Germans. Directly beneath stoe
. this head. a small single column affair
,e MONTHS BRITISH LOSSES
LOWEST SINCE AUGUST
Il 74,03S Reported Killed, Wounded al
Missing in January