davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
The Kaiser and the Satellite
apologies to THE Walrus and the Car.
penter')

the Kaiser and his favorite newspaper cor
respondent Karl Rosner, visited the
Champagne battlefield and lamented the
destruction wrought.
THE guns were shooting Ger the land,
l. Shooting with all their might.
They did their very best to make
The hope Of parley slight.
And this was odd, because you see
The Hun "deplored" the fight.
The Emperor was out of sorts
Because he thought the foe
Had no business to be where
His troops had planned to 60.
"It's very rude of him." said he,
"To stay and spoil our show"
The Kaiser and his satellite
Were walking hand in hand.
They wept like anything to see
Such devastated land.
"If this were only German-tilled,"
They said, at would be grand"
"If seven million Bertha guns
Swept it for seven years
Do you suppose" the Kaiser groaned,
"The French would yield to fears?"
81 doubt it," said the satellite,
And shed a batch Of tears.
20 Germans, march ahead of u.s.
The Kaiser did entreat.
"Nor think it i'll whatever pill
My orders make you eat.
Remember in my army you
Occasionally get meat"
The Kaiser and his satellite
Paced on a mile or so,
And then they rested in spot
Protected from the foe.
And all the hosts of Germans stood
And grumbled in a row.
"The time has come" the Kaiser said,
"To tell of many things;
OF Zeebrugge and of sealing wax,
Of sacred rights of kings.
And why, since they ale coming fast,
Those Yankee pigs have wings.
"A lot more bread" the Kaiser said,
lis what we chiefly need.
Some fats and oily products, too,
Are very good indeed.
But since they're missing, soldiers dear,
Iron crosses is your need"
"What more for us?" the soldiers cried,
Turning little blue,
after such peace talk they would be
A dismal sight to view."
"The weather's fine," the Kaiser said.
81 drink my health to you!
at was so good Of you to come
And you are very smart"
The satellite said nothing but
when is that peace to start?
l wish you'd sing another song;
That one affects my heart"
at seems shame" the Kaiser walled, .
THAT We are not today
Engaged with Bolshevik troops
That kindly ducked the fray"
The satellite said nothing but
"The French amt built that way"
81 weep for you!" the Kaiser moaned,
81 deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Divisions Of large size,
Keeping away the saddest sights
With hands before his eyes.
20 soldiers sobbed the satellite,
From royal eyes are shed
A stream Of tears. Lift up your cheers!"
Yet never a word was said.
And this was scarcely odd, because
The ground was strewn with dead
HIT CRAVEN
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
The Verbal Sort

With July only a short way off II il
pertinent to remark that the explosion OF
powder on that day should be left entirely
to the men over there. We've quite enough
hot-time speakers to make good the patriotic
loss.--Savannah News
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

We hope and pray that the hospital ship
Comfort may get over safely. but we haven't
the gentlemanly confidence in the shrew-
boats that Mr.. Daniels seems to have
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
Appropriate

The Director of the Mint will wed Mrs.
Alfred Gwynn Vanderbilt. who appears to
have made an appropriate seiection.-Louis-
willie Post.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

attempt to force Mr.. Hoovers hand on
beer or whether II will forbid the sale Of
whisky and gin for the period of the war
and make the nation dry.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

r The coal dealers don't like to be called
s,5obbers" Well call them anything they like
~ they'll Just let us have our coal.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
What Do You Knot0?
QUIZ

1, where II ChAteau-ThierTy!
2, who IL Duke AlhsScht ef Wurts1esssf
a what IL the capital q Csnnscssestf
4. Name the suthor Of "nsnlst."
S. who was Ceptais Kiddf
.. w.:s s:s,.: =: " sssss:n sss North knssiess
/, whs n Secretary Of the United states Nav.
4. Wh. said. "a cenny ssves IL penny sss"sd
o. Ior earnsdr'f
.. what IL ssstIiss
"a Who was r. T. oarnun7
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

A plot has been discovered to srnuggls
the Romanoff jewels into New York; but the
Romanoffs would be much more interested
In a plot to smuggle the family out Of Rus
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

Paths of glory lead but 20 grave COM
plications for vaudeville actors who mas
querade as Pershing veterans.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

We don't blame New Jersey at all for
not caring to be the buffer State between the
C-boats and the United States.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
Already Formed

Speaking OF q League Of Nations. twenty
nine races were represented in . recent draft
OF ninety-two men from . district on New
Uoekp EAet 0t4e.-pgevi1enae JouguoA "a
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

We wonder II that famous German
Black Book" that has caused 80 much
rumpus in England includes the names Of
the takers who are collecting money over
here In false uniforms
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
Revert IN pOlitiriaus

This sweetly solemn thought comes to us
Ger and Ger; who'll there be to cuss when
the Kaiser Is no more Toledo Blade
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
Manhattan's Mania

| New York Is to have a $4,000, 900 hotel,
| and as soon as 1t is finished q $4,000, 900
| one will be planned.-Dayton News.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
BOMBS AND A BELGIAN GARDEN
By Lieutenant Leon Archibald
British Royal Engineers

tragic were the fruits OF its endeavors!
For thirteen days this game of hide and
seek went on, the birdman sometimes
making as many as FIVE trips day with
his cargo Of high explosives, which he as.
siduously essayed to drop on brigades
roof. Never once did he succeed, and, in
passing, should you deduce herefrom that
the safest place to be within five hundred
yard radius of a boche arman's target is
the target itself, you are perfectly correct
But the bombs played fearful havoc with
surrounding property. included in which
was the little patch of green adjacent to
the matched roof cottage. Each day or
so bomb tore jagged craters among the
neat and wonderfully productive rowspand
every time they did and almost ere the
odors of the evil thing had vanished
madame was on hand to shake an angry
fist at the swiftly homing vulture. Num-
bling fearful imprecations on his head
she would fill the holes and build up other
rows.
A T LAST, but not before those Of us who
\ daily beheld the spectacle had begun
to speculate on the length of this absurd
and unequal duel between the boche and
the old lady, one of the participants. the
Hun, was counted out. The pitcher came
to the well once too often, for on a fine
clear morning it was broken we'll
aimed anti-aircraft shell brought the
marauder down, and from a height of
seven thousand feet he and his observer
dove and crashed-fairly into the center
of the garden belonging to The Old Lady
by the Mill
ENROM her steps she placidly stood and
watched us drag the lifeless broken
forms from out the wreckage to lay them
on one side and cover them with army
blankets. The destruction of her garden
was now complete. BY the time the last
vestiges Of the wreck had heen removed
there also had been trampled down and
hopeessly destroyed the poor old ladys
only means of livelihood; and yet it was
she who after the departure of the
salvage party snatched from off the mu-
tilated bodies the rough, gray army blan-
ket and as substitute tenderly laid over
them snowy sheet of linen.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

Mrs. Pankhurst says she has forgotten
all about hunger strikes. Well. nobody need
tear forcible feeding today.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
NOw's the
Chance!

While those German
Now's the U-boats are on this
Chance! side, says the New
York Evening Sun.
why not mark some jnternment camps a. II
they were hospitals? And also why not paint
a big Red Cross on Frog Hollow?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07
Guns. Of
Course

What can be stopping
Guns. Of Hlndy on the Marnef
Course Surely not al those
contemplate little ar
mics? Is 1t typhoid?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

mics? Is 1t typhoid?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

On the sun they are getting out their
smoked glasses to watch the eclipse of the
earth. Funny how the point of view
changes things, isn't it?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

Just for one day we are going to try to
be fair and see both sides Of every ques-
tion.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

For instance, probably George III called
Washington and his pals Bolsheviki.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-06-07

We are not to be beerlos versenkt after
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
Gunner ]. C. Martin
Cleans Up Field
at Lancaster Shoot

Marksman ]. G. Martin put Har-
risburg properly on the map yes-
terday at the Lancaster County Gun
Club shoot when he clipped las birds
out of the allotted $50, coping first
honors in Class A, and leading the
entire field for the first days events.
There were sixteen. winners de-
cided in the four class events, the
money going 40, 80, 20 and 10. y
handicap, an added event, went 20 J..
w. Ault, of Lancaster, with perfect
score from 25 targets. Professionals
were conspicuous by. their absence.
The men shot in a steady rain during
the entire day. Lloyd Lewis, of At
glen, and John B. Fontaine, Phila-
delphia, were in charge of the busi-
ness office. One hundred and fifty
dollars in money was split sixteen
ways to the winners, $3.50 for four
men in each class. Two trophies were
also offered in each event. The same
number of prizes will be awarded to-
morrow. The winners We're as fol-
lows:
Class Al. G.. Martin, 145; ]. H.
Herr, IA; Powers, 143; Heller. 142
Glass B-H. Lodge, 144; George
Gray. 143; Posey, 140; Mcfarland,
139.
Class C-Kendig, 141; Tyler, 1856;
Melrath, 1886; J. P. Brenneman, 134I
DR.. Bolton, 1874.
Glass D-W..T. Hambright, 1872;
Lucas, 1926; Bard, 121; Depew, 121;
Eshelman, 1922
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
In BOXING SHOW AT MOTIVE POWER ARENA SAMMY SCHIFF
Techs Husky Gridiron Stars
Battle Mt. Carmel Tomorrow

Technical High school will usher
in the 1915 football season to-mor-
row afternoon On the Island when
the Maroon will Iheet Mount Carmel
High schools eleven. in what is the
first contest of tho season for both
institutions For Ehe past several
years this has been \the opening at
traction for both of Ahe elevens.
Tech has made great plans for
this contest and the student body is
on edge to see its six-cAylinder aggre-
cation in action lead by Gilbert. Eb-
ner. In Captain Ebner, "Buddie"
Lingle, TONY WilsbacSh and "Eg-
gle" Beck, Tech has a backfield that
would be hard to beat were the on
tire United States secured from coast
to coast. 1t is a combination of
speed and weight that could chal-
lenge the best of them. (They can
hit the line or run the ends with
equal celerity.
From end to end there is scarcely
a weak spot. They are bunch of
veterans who have the grit to turn
back tank. If there is a high
school in eight that thinks it has a
chance, there is still one open date,
November 2, on which they cam he
accommodated. Tech had to ar
range a schedule out of it's nigh
school class this season, taking ION
several trade schools and academies.
The Tech cheer leaders and MAJ
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
the first gatherings yesterday, the
plan will work out admirably well.

the first gatherings yesterday, the
plan will work out admirably well.
Another 100 boys will leave the
school next Monday and Tuesday
for the Adams county fruit belt to
help harvest the apples of that re-
gion. They will be grouped in four
camps and will be in charge of a
State College student who has been
selected by the government for. the
Yingling, Vincent Brennan, Fritz
Bergengren, Milo Matter, Robert
Lutz, Fred Morgan, Luther Landis,
Edward Seighman. Herbert Sense
man, John NJ. Smith, william Sweig-
art, George Mattson, Charles Krause,
George McCahan, Willis Geiger, Of
tbs Greek, John Hoblitzell, Robert
Gemmill, Harold Rudy, Ray Engle,
N. Fleisher, Alfred Shaffer, Law
renee Harlacker, Edward McCarvel.
Camp No. 2. Walter McCahan,
George Reinoehl, Charles Slower,
Donald Reel, Harry Weldman,
Charles Crist, Edward Watson, Hen
ry Gurley. Austin Strouse, Harry
Connor, Frank Stewart, Ray ReitZ,
H. Keller, Groh Hossler, r. Huber,
Marlin Dice, Albert Lyter, Gilbert
Mattson, Harold Hallgren, Garfield
Newcomer, William Miller, Paul
Minnaugh, Lynn Storey, Aaron Pat
terson, Lee Smith, Charles Spangler,
Jacob Harder.
Camp No. 8, Jay Gehrett, Robert
Snyder, David Lands. Hyman Will
liams, julius Kranzdorff, Thomas
Zimmerman, Hayward Toomey, Ray
mond Colestock, Maurice Logan,
Harry Gintzer, Russell Hickman,
Edward Bricker, Arthur Homire,
Harry Warfield, Edward Spotz, Dav-
id Snyder, Harry Zimmerman, Res
Ter Shultz, Albert Chandler, William
Worley, Raymond Shaeffer, George
Swartz, John Kinder.
Camp No. 4, Paul Johnston, John
Roth, Charles Wertz, George Rex,
William Keller, Arthur Helf, Don
aid Fisher, Harry Cramer, Donald
Boland, Herbert Phillips, Frank Mil
ler, Courtland Freeburn and Cramer
Johnston.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27


which had been passed around as
perfectly good currency about her
son. Private Cooper, it appears, had
had been reported dead. Part of the
letter Sollows:
Dear Mother-A few lines to let
yon know where I am and how
am getting along. / guess you won
dered what happened to me since
you haven't heard from me since 1
left the camp. I am we'll and getting
along fine and hope you all are well
and getting along the same. Give my
love to all and tell them am well
and getting along fine and like the
country. I am somewhere in France
and it's wonderful place. Now
don't worry about me because I am
all right and getting along fine"
There are those who may write a
better letter than John, but none
will gainsay that there's nothing like
repeating ones self that he is well
and getting along fine" for killing
rumors of an obituary kind. So Mrs.
Cooper things, anyway.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
First Big Boxing Bout Here
Sees Sammy Schiff Shade Clark

common fighter. He breathes, eats
and sleeps the manly art; never in
dulges in alcoholics and does not
even smoke. He has a most deter
mined ambition to be a great
fighter and his kill last night prom
ises that he will climb, slowly-per-
haps, but surely.
The bout which was advertised
twixt Indian Russell and Wolbert did
not materialize because the Redskin
fell victim to Spanish measles or
whatever the up-to-date pest is that
has the Army boys on the run. In
it's place Oppy White of Lancaster,
mingled with Bobby Clark of Phila-
delphia and these furnished enough
entertainment to alone be worth the
price Of admission. Mr.. Clark chal-
lenged bad luck from the moment he
rosined his tender feet. Shortly after
hostilities he sprung Charley Horse
as the ballplayers put it; sprained
his ankle. 1t was not much of an
ankle and the husky rubber nearly
rubbed it all away. Resuming the
bicker, Clark frst went over the
ropes in the northwest corner, car
rying away the post. He next selected
the sou'west corner, and dtttoed. By
this time the Motive Power force of
skilled workmen were on hand with
steam drills, cold chisels and a fur
mace; finally rigging up the squared
circle until the gay stuff could con-
tinue. Just as a fresh kid in the
first row suggested "Tattlesnake" oil
for Mr.. Clark's ankle, the White man
from Lancaster, an employe OF
Charley Riker, the brewer, pumped
his left into Mr.. Clarl's visage so
frequently that he looked bad and
Referee Calhoun suspended opera
tions, calling it a technical knockout
TO rWhite. -s ~ ~
bout of the evening was thtN between
Arty Grant, who works at Round
House No. 1 and Young Drake, OF
the Machine Shop. These two caved
in the ropes several times and as
each had plenty of partisans the
roofing became acrid. Referee Cal
houn called attention to the presence
of sex, said to be more deadly than
| the male, whereupon the sporting
chatter subsidized and everybody had
to jump for the boxers were again
coming through the ropes. Grant
showed himself a good boxer and he
was lighter than Drake. The latter
had a stiff punch, but swung it all
over the diamond and never once
landed. Grant was said to have been
amateur champion of the Atlantic
Coast. He had the best of this fray.
The less said about the Tim
Droney-Leo Vincent stall, why, the
better. Neither let loose one hard
blow; they put on the muffler and
the spectators advertised their lack
of appreciation quite violently. Most
of the time they looked like Japan
ese wrestlers, telling each other a
story.
Mention should be made of the two
kids who opened the show, Hiny
Dinkleburg, hammer boy and Kid
Arter, messenger boy in the local
shops. They scrapped three two
minute rounds with the advantage
for Tiny.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
REV. Nj. T. SMITH TO
DIRECT MEMS WORK

AS the result of a conference of
the mems work committee of the
pennsylvania Synod of the Presby-
terian Church with DIR. w. F. Wier.
national mems work secretary. The
Rev. Matthew T. Smith, Beaver Falls.
was elected as in charge of the mems
work of the Pennsylvania Synod.
The Rev. B. F. Everitt. Lewisburg,
will be secretary treasurer. Nine
teen district chairman from the state
land six to be named by the Synod,
will make up the committee. The
plans of the committee outlined at
yesterdays meeting, will be laid be-
fore the Synodical gathering to be
held in Harrisburg in October.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
READING FAIR
DRAWS $4,000
Immense Throng Not Scared
by Rain See Pennsylvania
Nags Set the Pace

$4,000 spectators thronged to the
Reading Fair yesterday. many hun
dreds going from Harrisburg. The
paddock. stands and open field were
jammed, in spite of lowering clouds,
the rails about the racing course
were lined ten deep. Even showers
in the late day did not make the
multitude draw of from the at
tractive sport.
The 2.23 trot, with five heats de-
cided on Wednesday. carried over on
account of the sundown rule. was
the opening event. The Central
Pennsylvania entry, Herbie NJ, by
Bellini Jay, of the Pender stables,
Johnstown, won the sixth and decid-
ing heat from the 2-year-old stall
lion Electron Dillon, owned by F. E.
Masland, of Philadelphia. Andy Nc
Dowen, with the son of Dillon AK
worthy, led until the head of the
stretch, where Driver Vipond with
Herbie NJ. challenged and after a
great brush down the stretch nosed
out the Masland horse. Herbie NJ.
took new race record of 2.17A by
winning.
ne Hsu5 pdCtp 6pOSidA ACotuiS SNShS
or the big Thursday" bill, brought
together six exceptional fast side
wheelers. The veteran Sellers d. of
ward McGrath, had too much speed
/! for his field, and after whipping
finishes won in straight heats. This
race furnished grand racing for the
immense crowd, who. cheered the son
of Lauaret to the echo at the finish.
The bay stallion Worthy Peter, of
Tommy Berry's string. won his
ninth straight victory by winning
the 2.14 trot, purse $500. a fve-heat
laffair. A1lenwood the Great, driven
by Carr. took the first, two heats.
then Driver Berry got busy and came
into the limelight with the son of
Peter the Great, taking the. next
three heats and the race.
The 2.21 pace, with ~ starters,
furnished thrilling sport. The first
heat had an unavoidable accident
happen as the field reached the three
quarter pole. Driver Nick Grady,
who was up ba9k of the Phoenix
seated, as was Driver Fray. who
handled the reins over Gravity.
Grady was hurt internally and suf-
fered fractured collarbone and was
(taken to the local hospital while
ppriver Fray resumed racing after
having his lacerated arm and side
bandaged. 1t was lucky escape for
both drivers.
Howard McGrath, driving the bay
stallion Jackson Grafton, won the
2.21tpace in straight heats, taking a
new record of 2.16A. The judges in
this race, thinking that S. r. Sips,
who was driving Captain Shirley.
was not trying to win, put Tommy
Berry up back of the son of Major
Shirley in the third heat and, al
though Driver Berry did his best to
win, the McGrath horse won out by a
nose al the wire, after a whipping
finish that had the crowd on their
feet cheering on their respective ia
Ivorite to win.
Major f.. Spring City entry. won
the 2.21 trot, purse $400, after losing
the second heat ito Fountain Pen,
another great rival from down the
Schuylkill Valley. Major F. took a
new record of 2.18A.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-09-27
Battle Royal When
Marysville Meets Tarsus

MarysviIlc, Pa, Sept. 27.-Prac-
ticing hard during the week, Cap
tain G.. w. Rhoads announces that
the Marysville A. c. will be given its
final drill this %ening in preparation
for the opening game with the fast
moving Tarsus A. c., of Harrisburg,
tomorrow afternoon at $50 o'clock
on the field in Linden avenue. Mil
ton o. Sheaffer, an old-time foot
bal player. will referee the CON
test.
Manager Roberts announces that
the squad will line up tomorrow
with Biting, left end; r. Kocher. left
tackle; Smithgall, left guard; White
center; Shumaker, right guard; II
Kocher, right tackle; e. Roberts
right end; III. Corbin, quarterback;
C. S. Sheaffer, left halfback; King
right halfback; Rhoads. captain, full
back.