Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1918-04-26
THE OTHER ANGLE
Just Facts
BY KIRK MILLER.

Although it's as easy to teach a new
pup old tricks as 1t is to understand
war map. folks are getting so they
wear that extra sentence of daylight
very becomingly. Some wear 1t draped
across their elbows. others let 1t dangle
luridly from their chatelains and q
bunch of boobs park it somewhere be-
| tween one Of their double chins. Which
proves that people who infest the upper
and neither sector of this globe can get
| used to anything IL you give EN- little
time
! Look at this skip-stop system. which
we never thought We could take with
out chaser. At first everybody made
I sour face when they swallowed a
dose of skip-stop and 1t was unani-
! mously voted that we should declare
| war on Turkey. Bulgaria and Skip
and his entire retinue. Now we're ready
| to elect him first lord mayor of the
Skipstopovian Stands. and donate him .
complete set OF fiat wheels AZ medals
| for his intricate surgical operations in
| the vicinity OF our bad tempers.
Who'd a thought America could ever
accustom itself to buying sugar in two
pound shipments before the war became
chronic and II anybody had suggested
| that we mix equal parts OF sawdust
-
| for q recount Of the yeas and nays"
and sent a petition to the sawdust ad-
Iministrator. protesting the habit of
diluting perfectly good sawdust. Might
as WE'LL
! Another new trick that 4 lot Of we
poor purps have learned to inhale in
| habit-forming installments In that of
| using . funnel for q megaphons. Since
washington Joined Maine. virginia and
other pro-arid hemisphere, q funnel Ia
absolutely no good except to announce
the box score.
II you took all the idle tunnels in
Washington and equipped them with
high powdered lenses, you'd have the
| finest fleet Of binoculars that ever
scented an air raid and IL you can get
| used to looking At the blond individual
| in the moon with twin tunnels you can
accustom yourself to q little concrete
mixed in with your biscuit dough.
Conceding that one liberty bond Is
| not nearly so good an investment as
two. and asserting that II Is wonder
full how much trouble there IL left in
| the world with everybody hunting for
4 IT, We still say that it's going to be
hard for US to get used to doing with
I out lapels on the bottom of our trous-
| ers.
The clothes admiralty has ANNOUNCE
| ed that conservation in fabrics and
| things demands that cuffs be left on
| Of that portion of the human wearing
apparel which camouflages the lower
| eKtremities OF the lesser SO per cent
of us.
We hate to have our anklets waving
neglectedly In the summer breeze. and
| we'd almost rather surrender that
hoop around our trench coat than re-
treat from the cuffs on our trousers
however. war remains war. and we'll
! just buy our oxfords one button higher
and mind our own business.
Another war spangled innovation
that Is camping closer to our back
doors than the wolves II the POSSIBLE
fly Of having soprano street car crews
decorate our subways. Aren't our car
lines curiosities enough AZ they are
without having the giggllng set
MARBLE out the names of the streets in
B minor and natural? We never
could understand the words to the
Fifth Nocturne," from Schlitx. and
soon. cars are going to assume the
same molten as the second movement
from Uncle Toms Cabin"
War has tossed 4 lot of moths on our
parade. and were trying to swallow
them all with a smile. but IL war
would just toss q pair of moths on
pair Of kings that have been cumming
up the deck since the fall OF 1914 we
wouldn't dread the palm beach season
20 (deieted- by-the-censor) much.