davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

Richard Henry Little, in the Chicago
Herald
O1INcE the fatal morning after the
~ opening of THE Wanderer" at the
auditorium there has been much
urhappiness in the bosom of the beauti-
full Miss Jean Stuart, who plays Tisha,
daughter of Nadina The chroniclers of
theatrical events admitted that Miss
Stuart was pretty and charming, but
grieved that she wore such an atrocious
wig; a wig that looked like a haystack
in cyclone; a wig SO big that it Tapped
down on Miss Stuart's cunning shoulders
like a sombrero that had been care
lessly put on and worn hind side fore.
All this was duly published. All, then,
dear friends, the storms broke. Oh. such
a storm! All the 40 sheep in the WAN
derer" were scared out of their wool and
the herd of performing Egyptian gnats
flew around and stung one another to
death.
And why all this excitement, do you
ask? Listen while I whisper that Miss
oSoH otuolt NOCo lOt wear q WIZ Wnen
she appears as Tisha, daughter of Ma
dina. Nay, it is her own, own hair And
to have her own beautiful lovely locks
compared to a haystack in distress drove
Tisha, daughter of Nadina, beside her.
self with righteous wrath.
"They may say I lack technique .
shrilled Miss Stuart to the afrightened
w. Page, the press representative who
had tried to escape from the auditorium
disguised as sheep: "They may say
my dietion is faulty and that I lack fire,
but they shall not say wear wig that
flops around me like a sombrero"
Mr.. Page asks that, in the interest of
harmony and peace at the auditorium.
a correction be printed concerning this
sad affair Mr.. Page says that Miss
Stuart is very popular with all the mem
bers of the company and that they have
taken the matter up and made it a per-
sonal affair.
Jether, son Of Jesse, says he will abso-
lutely refuse to gnaw the bones stolen
from the dogs at his fathers house when
he return a prodigal unless retraction
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

that be must be dealt with sternly.
Let the people continue to cherish
sentiments of unflinching loyalty and
give, expression to them; and more,
let every man and woman be a
worker. There is something for every
one to do in winning the war.
Millions are alive to the crisis. In
the Red Cross and other channels of
opportunity we find noble souls in ac-
ton and all aflame with one purpose.
Let it be so with everyone worthy Of
being called an American.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
THE NERVE OF cAmLAUx

From the London Chronicle.
There is going the rounds in Paris a
characteristic story of NJ. Caillaux. The
other Sunday afternoon, he appeared for
the last time before the committee OF
IL charged with investigating his case.
He had. as usual staggered every one
with the absolute GOODNESS with which
he met all charges. But when he left the
chamber in the darkness and falling
snow, no cab was to be found. "Sa-
pristi,' cried the deputy, as he looked in
vain for a friendly fiacre. Then an idea
struck him. and he approached motor
car containing detectives. 1T is you
who are shadowing me?" he questioned
Yes, monsieur Very well, then, taRe
me home,' said NJ Caillaux, as he en-
tered the police car. Few things, evil
IDENTIFY, can upset NJ. Caillaux's nerve.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
PICTURES OF HOOVER

From the Minneapolis Tribune
Julius II. Barnes. president of the
United States Grain corporation in his
address before the council OF grain ex-
changes at the Hotel La Sale, gave an
interesting picture of Herbert C. Hoover,
food administrator, with whom he has
been associated intimately for months
IN trying national service. Mr.. Barnes
whose home is in Duluth and who is
known as one of the ablest grain men
of the country, told of the successful
handling of last years wheat crop by
the grain corporation and of the pres
ure being brought to bear against Ger
many through the embargo on exports
to her Scandinavian neighbors. He con-
tinued:
1T is because Mr.. Hoovers far-ranging
mind saw the possibilities of this food
administration and this embargo ahead
of all of us that he is entitled to our re-
spect as most efficient business
fighter.
'Mr. Hoover is Quaker and when a
Quaker is fighter l suppose he is a
most persistent, most relentless, most
terrifying kind of fighter.
II lived with Mr.. Hoover three months
last summer, lived at his home, ate
breakfast and dinner with him. saw him
under all conditions. and never for ore
minute saw him off his guard as a
fighter. persistently analyzing figures
and statistics and tabulations to see IN
what way he can invent a new pressure
against our enemies.
II never saw him attend a theatre,
never saw him play a game of cards,
never saw him leave the office before Z
o'clock, never saw him at home that he
was not working until bedtime on some
of those problems; he is everlastingiy
at It,
1T is hts ingenuity. his remarkable
memory for figures. statistics and facts
they represent which is making him a
really vital power in Washington today.
Free as he is from any suspicion of po-
htical ambition, he is man in whcm
they all confide and on whom they all
unite as the force which can eo-relate
all the activities of those departments
and make it IN elective whole.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

From the Chicago Evening Post.
Look at that woman fixing her HAN
over there. No. not there! More to the
left, in the hox'
Goodness! that naval officer isn't sa-
luting!'
.Did you see my scarf? l musta
dropped it. Oh, here it is
Gee! the violinist went flair
lis 1t showing out?"
Better keep your coat on There's an
awful draft in here right on the back
O. my neck
Don't drop them caramels."
Amt she the funniest lookin' thing,''
AN she says
"Ore thuh Ian dab HOY than huh free,
an thuh home ahv thu-uh brave.''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
LUKE MrLUKE SAYS

This is selfish old world. The aver
age man doesn't care what happens just
SO it doesn't happen to him.
Men like to brag that they know more
about fishing than woman But we
have often seen a girl land 175-pound
sucker even when her whole family were
tr,ins to help him get away.
Argument may convince a man. But
it takes flattery to convince the aver
age woman.
When man claims that he is poor be-
cause he is honest, the betting is that he
is poor because he is lazy
If you want to know how to manage
wife, don't ask a married man, ask a
bachelor. A married man doesn't know
a blame thing about it.
When an old man marries young girl
the old man gets the sympathy, but 1t is
the young girl who is entitled to the
sympathy.
We don't know why. But it affords the
average man heap of satisfa ction whe
an ascending cashier is a pillar in his
church or Sunday school superinten-
dent.
Women know how to get bargains in
other things. But lot of them dig up
mighty cheesy husbands
when he has to sit in a barber chair
for 20 minutes while a barber cuts his
hair is because he wants to get out SO
he can stand in front of a bar for three
hours.
1t makes a corn fed girl mad to have
thin man offer her his seat in a
crowded street car. She couldn't possibly
squeeze into the space he occupied, and
he merely attracts attention to the thick
mess of her beam.
You have often noticed how willingly
and cheerfully druggist waits on you
when all you want to purchase Is a pos
tai card haven't you? Neither have we,
Brother neither have we.
| The average married man is so selfish
that he fails to realize that Ills burden
brings compensations~
| A boy can do an errand In 10 minutes
| if he goes alone. But if he takes an
other boy with him it takes him an hour
and 10 minutes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
THEY DIDN'T FORGET

From Answers.
Hes perfectly quiet, ladies' re-
marked the jobmaster to the two girls
who were about to hire pony and
trap. "on1y you must take care to keep
the rein off his tail"
, 1--WE won't forget" they replied.
When they returned the jobmaster
inquired how they had got on.
"Splendidly! they exclaimed. I'VE
had one rather sharp shower. but we
took it I'M turns to hold the umbrella
over the horses tail. SO there was no
real danger,"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
COMMUNION
By SaA'uel Minturn Peck.

BY SAMUEL Minturn Peck.
| send my love unto my dead each day;
l know not how; l only know it goes
Forth from my heart. and. going, ever
grows;
That as it flies. there's nothing can AZ
fray:
That, like dove. it fondly keeps itssl7y
Through dark and light along the paSh ts.
knows;
That in its faithful flight it never sisYA's4|
And IL toll or sleep goes not astF
l send my love unto my dead, and theaaS~
They know it's sent, that l have mo- {es~
got;
For often when l am alone l feel
Their love return-and, oh. no wozsss Ia 2
say S
The peace that comes to me. IT III sefe
not
N'hat woe betide. 1 have whetensta -
heaL
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
Battle for Pennant

i am greatly interested ins the
prospects for the coming baseball sea
son In the Southern league said Man
ager Carlton Molesworth There arc
lot of people who think that base
ball will not experience a successful
year because of the war. But / differ
with them. l am expecting the coming
season to be one of the most success
full in the leagues career.
Attendance at theatres and other
places of amusements has been excel
lent recently, and I see no reason why
the same does not apply to baseball.
1 believe the year will be a success
and will build my team prepared to
battle for the pennant from the start"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
BREAKING TT GENTLY

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The man had been arrested for running
over and injuring traffic cop While
out drunk and joy riding with chicken.
He sent for friend and the friend went
TO the police station to see him.
Friend" said the man, you had bell
ter go to my home and explain this to
my wife,
What will l tell her?" asked the
friend.
First tell her that l was killed, and
then gently work up to the climax said
the man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
Scouts UnscIfish

OF all the organizations in Bir-
m!Egham in which she may be par
doned in feeling just PRIDE none
can deserve more credit, to my mind,
than that of the Boy Scouts of Amer
iea,' said John C. Henley, Jr. "These
boys are with us in every patriotic
cause. They help us do the work and
yet are unselfish enough to demand
none of the credit
"Of their past achievements nothing
need be said, the present speaks for
itself. and from the meteroric prog
ress that this organization has made
since its inception into this country
eight years ago it would be an act of
Jolly to try to predict the good that
they may be expected to do in the
future
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
WHEN LOVE GROWS COLD.

WHEN LOVE GROWS COLD.
Your many charms, dear heart,
/ more and more adore;
Well never drift apart
Unless, perchance, you snore
youngstown Telegram.
I'll stick to you like glue,
Through every day and year;
Ill freeze to you, till you
Start eating onions, dear.
Houston Post.
I'll stand for these, dear one,
And will not turn you out;
But all our loving's done
If you eat sauerkraut.
Memphis Commercial-AppeaI.
Yes, sweetheart, / repeat,
My love You'll never lack;
Unless, mayhap, your feet
You warm upon my back.
Newark Daily Advocate
I'll always love you, sweet
OF that you need not fear
Unless you make me eat
Warmed over supper, dear.
Sheridan (Ark) Headlight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
STRIKING COINCIDENCE.

when man has several sons fight
ing for democracy in France he natur-
ally feels proud
Il don't object to that"
Neither do 1. But nearly every pro-
fessional orator I've heard for the past
six months had one or more sons fight
ing for democracy in France. I'm get
ting suspicious
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

BEGINNING THE DAY - Lord,
Thou answercth me not. that Thou
mayest answers me more fully and
more truly. Thou withholdest what
j ask, that Thou mayest give the
more surely what 1 need. When Thou
keepest back Thy gifts Thou givcst
me even Thyself. Amen.-H. NJ. e.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
NoT on THE MARKET.

why do you say the Dawkers viii
never be prominent socally?"
We'll for one thing, both Mr.. and
Mrs. Dawker lack savoir-viore."
Maybe they'll be able to acquire it IN
time"
81 fear not. They think it can be
bought
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
EXTINCT CUSTOM.

Interesting collection of snapshots you
have"
Thanks. Here's a picture of two
southern colonies slipping mint juleps on
a broad veranda. 1t was taken some
years ago. The time is coming when a
snapshot like that will be rare curl
osity."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
N6T MUCH CHOICE

From the Memphis Commercial Appeal.
What's a poor unarmed German TO so
when the Kaiser says: Back to the
mills or up before the firing squs s..ss
What would you do?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
Go to Cburch on Skates

Il have just received a letter from
my son, Oglesby, who lives in Pitts
burg, said Mrs. D. j. Proctor, "enclos-
ing newspaper account of how the
Pittsburgers went to church on skates
last Sunday
1T seams that the ground froze and
a rain fell which made coating of
ice, making the streets almost as good
a place to skate as the rivers and
ponds. 1t must have been novel
sight"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
HIS TURN AT LAST.

Il see where a former judge says he
would rather stay in Jail than pay his
wife alimony."
"And is he in jail?"
Certainly"
What explanation does he offer?'
He says it's the first time since he
got married that he's had a chance 10
assert himself. and he's going to do it if
wrecks his health"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
INCLUDED ALL.

IAN expert delivered an address yes
terday on food conservation to several
hundred fashionable women and few
men. He began by saying, Ladies and
gentlemen, and-er- Others
HE must have intended a covert in
suit to somebody who was present
mo. Several of the DANES brought
along their poodles"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

The Age-Herald is the only morning
and Sunday newspaper in birmingham
carrying the Associated Press dis
patches.
The Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches credited to 1t
or not otherwise credited in this paper
and also the local news published
herein.
All rights of republication of spe-
cial dispatches herein are also re-
served.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT

From the Minneapolis Tribune.
The transfer of German troops from
the Russian to the western front has one
advantage. 1t will give the American
troops a chance to get at them earlier.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

recent years many of the highways
are in wretched condition simply be-
cause no provision was made for up
keep.
1t is hoped that the conference Of
good highway advocates, called by the
Birmingham Civic association to
meet here February 81, will be well
attended. Such a meeting should do
much to develop a strong public senti-
ment in favor of better roads.
Aside from the military point of
view, the demand for higher class
of road construction is greater than
ever, in order to accommodate heavy
truck traffic, for the purpose
of relieving railroad congestion. All
the short hauls in territory traversed
by railways should be assigned to the
trucks, leaving the long hauls
throughout the country for steam
transportation.
A macadam road that would answer
well enough for light travel and even
for farm wagons is not at all ade-
|quate for truck haulage. Heavy
trucks are hard on roadbeds, and only
concrete construction will answer the
demand. Alabama cannot plan too
soon for thorough rehabilitation of
its roads.
Mr.. Baker says the sinking of the
the relentless warfare" We've been
face to face with 1t for sometime, but
Congress does not appear to be aware OF
the fact
y 81 l.
A gentleman who spent three months
in Mr.. Hoover home says the food adj
ministrator never has any idle time on
his hands. The tired business man and
Mr.. Hoover have nothing in common.
* X y
We must give the movie press agents
credit for certain amount of conserya-
ton. None of them has yet made the
assertion that a motion picture battle
costs as much as the real thing.
* ). y
1t probably makes Emma Goldman and
Alexander Berkman positively sick to
in America when they might be having
a lark in Russia.
After an imaginative persons hears a
description of the tanks in action he hos
an idea that they are about half a mile
long, almost as broad and as tall as a
ten-story building.
X X y
STILL when we stop to think what that
U-boat might have done when it sank the
Tuscania and what it failed to do, there
is cause for congratulation.
y = q
Heatless Mondays have been aban-
doned in the south When the good old
summer time comes heatless Mondays
will be out of the question.
Some of the statesmen who reiterate
that they are standing by the President
act as if they'd like to be photographed
while doing it.
Some of these days we are going te
take day off and find out what a Ger.
tain tobacco firm means by Sensible
cigarette"
And now it is feared that there will =.
an ice shortage next summer. Times
like these give optimism the acid test.
X * y
The legislature of Maryland evidently
uoeS Hot nolu bdlllinore justly famous
rye in high esteem.
n * y
The saeking of wine cellars continue:
to be favorite indoor sport of Petro.
grad mobs
y * 81
And there was a time when the spuc
was regarded as thing of little worth.
* X *
Substitute foods in Germany by M
| means fill a long-fe want
u * \
1t begins to look like waste of time
to have Kerensky PACED
HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
A FAVORED BROTHER.

Observe him prance along the street,
His features wreathed in smiles;
Full joyfully his heart doth beat
And happiness beguiles.
What can it be that cheers him so,
When other men are glunl
And harbor thoughts of present woe
And troubles yet to come?
We pause-straightway the question put
And ask him to explain;
He signifies he'll answer, but
First huns short refrain.
Then. shifting us upon the chest,
He says in accents glad,
Il found three plunks in last years
vest
l didn't know I had"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
ADRIFTT WITH THE TIMES

All that Ill bear, my life
Ill even count them as delights,
If. like quite unusual wife,
You'll leave my pockets be- of nights.
Nashville Tennesseaa.
Through many a golden year
My love will constant be,
If you will swear, my DEAR
You won't choose ties for me-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
A LONG QUEST.

A LONG QUEST.
Mrs. Blobbins, had an extra pair OF
trousers in this house"
80 you did, Henry"
yet. they are nowhere to be found.
Did you give them away to some tramp.
Mrs. Blobbins?"
mo, indeed, Henry. save them to
most deserving man. He told me he had
been hunting work for seven years"
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
Camp Mcclellan Healthy

Il have just been to Anniston,' said
A. G. fGip) Smith, who for years has
been representing one of the largest
coffin factories in the country, land
IL all the camps were as healthy as
Camp Mcclellan the undertalSers who
had the contract to furnish the cof-
frs would not require many.
my customer in Admission, who has
the contract, tells me that he has fur
nished only about 25 since the camp
was established. This, taken in con-
nection with the large number OF
troops, is mighty good evidence that
the camp is healthy one"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

Washington bureau. 2o7 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms As 10
so, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The 5. G.
Beckwith Special Agency. agents for
foreign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09

81 have just put in a month in the
east with the buyers for our organiza-
tion,'' said Leo Loeb. general manager
of Loveman, Joseph & Loeb, and while
fierce I am glad to report that in tie
face OF the cry that merchandise could
not be had we were able to take care
of our spring stocks in a most satisfac-
tory way
1--WE have bought the goods and the
transportation end, but we have
guarded this as far as possible. / think
Birmingham Is going to appreciate the
way we have prepared for it's wants"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1918-02-09
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
AND ELSEWHERE
To Aid Soldier Roxs

Il am on my way to Admission" said
Rev. Il. p Lee. associate pastor OF
the First Baptist church, Selma, and
ore of the best music leaders in the de-
domination, TO visit my friend, DIR.
Leon NJ. Latimer, and look over the sit
uation at Camp Mcclellan, with a
view of seeing~wl,at can be done to
better tie the T;aFtist boys on to the
local church during their stay at the
camp.
"The Parker Memorial church, Of
which DIR. Latimer is pastor, has spent
about $4,000 i'll 1ertcdcling the church
and putting in rI-to-date Sunday
scnool roni1s. The large basement room
has been converted into "a reception
place for the soldier boys when they
are in Admission on Wednesdays Satur-
days and Sundays. [ hope to be able
to be OF assistance in organizing
choir and a chorTs and in getting IN
personal touch with the men,
The Glenwood post., 1918-08-24
WARD UNDERWOOD OF GRAND
" VALLEY KILLED IN ACTION

Grand Valley, Aug. 22.-Grand Val
ley has suffered its first martyr to fall
in action in France. This morning Mr..
and Mrs. James Underwood of Battle
ment mesa received a telegram from the
adjutant general s office in Washington
to the effect that he was panied to r.
port the death of their son in action in
France on July 20.
Young Underwood was % years of
age and was born at Alliance, Nebras-
ka His parents moved to western Col
orado when the lad was but years Of
age and they are among the od-timers
in this section. Ward enlisted last Sep
tember and went away proudly with
the other boys of Garfield county.
Memorial services are to be held on
Sunday afternoon at 2 o'clock at the
Battlement mesa cemetery, conducted by
kew. Mallery. They will doubtless be
largely attended.
Ward Underwood, while the first to
surrender his life in defense of home
and country while in actual battle, is
not the first Grand Valley boy to go as
result of the war, George Bailey hav-
ing been the first, he dying in the
army training camp several months ago
The Glenwood post., 1918-08-24
one SORT OF
INVESTIGATION

There are investigations, and-inves-
LEGATIONS, but an investigation which
which grows out of a political contest
isn't worth much Almost from the
time the United States entered the
world war there have been rumors up
on rumors to the effect that Mrs. Bar
bara Walter WAS pro-German and dis.
loyal and untrue to America, the coun-
try of her adoption. These rumors
have been SO persistent that they have
caused Sheriff Fravert and other mem
bers of the local draft board no end Of
trouble and annoyance.
The Rittmayer hardware store, Of
which Mrs. Walter is chief owner, has
repeatedly been referred to as refuge
and loafing place for the socialist, the
|. W. w. and the Bolshevii elements
of the country, and numerous rumors
have reached the public ear of the dis
loyal utterances of Mrs. Walter.
How much truth there has been IN
these rumors the public has been made
to wonder, and Sheriff Fravert has