Omaha daily bee., 1918-02-28

"Jim. what part of the car is the
ignyshun?" she asks again, when they
have moved on.
"Oh, Lord" groans Jim. you're
like kid. You look and see and hear
and don't remember nothin'. The ig-
milton is connected up with the gears
in that round ball thing you was kick
ing on the rear axle. Now do you
know"
She got him.
Then there's Alfred, the city sport,
dolled up like John Trew, with Lena
dangling onto his arm. Alfred sells
ribbon or dress goods in the daytime
and at night allows the gasping pub
lie to wise up on TIE latest masculine
wear as exhibited on his manly frame.
Lena was a fairly sensible girl before
Alfreds bolsheviki principles and
views saturated her. They're both
typical of moderi four-hushers.
II like our car better than this
years model" says Alfred, pointing
to large, handsome eight and talk
ing plenty loud enough in the hearing
of other poor devils who can buy and
sell AL but can't afford that size car.
"Al, yourn is better lookin," says
Lena, just to horn in and give Al
something further to spill.
When AIS talk and fancy-cuffed
gestures attract the attention OF the
agent, who comes smilingly to meet
them, AL and Lena evacuate the front
line trenches and leave the smell OF
German gas in the nostrils OF their
auditors.
Al, he knows truck driver and
has monkeyed around cars for quite
a few years. Lena rode in car once
to Mrs. Schmeltz's funeral.
Standing off to one side, unob-
trusive in person and unattractive in
dress, is a small, weazened man who
looks critically at the eight that Al
didn't care for.
Pardon me-" says the weazened man
to the salesman" but would you mind
showing me the gear shift on this
carr"
They 60 over it carefully and the
small mans head mods approvingly,
After ten minutes chatting that SON.
of-a-gun of a weazened old gentle
man actually buys AIS eight. And
not a darn soul in the auditorium
knew he was present, heard him tell
about his car at home or looked at
his clothing.
Wandering aimlessly about on the
floor we see here and there middle
aged bachelor, neat in dress. but in
simple taste, and with business fail
ure" written in the lines of care in his
face and the apathetic look in his
eyes. As he stops to look at med
crate price touring car his mind pic
lures Mabel, the girl, now mother, in
the front seat beside him, and his two
grown children in the back seat. A
heavy, painful sigh escapes him, he
closes hs eyes moment, and-"Well,
good gracious, Mary, can't afford
car. I'm head over heels now in
debtp comes to his ears from some
henpecked married man, and Mr..
Bachelor smiles and tries to convince
himself that he's the wisest guy of the
two.
And so, observation and informa-
ton teaches us that life in this old
world is one continual show of autos"
(self)
Mr.. and Mrs. Plute step into their
limo and are whisked away to their
home by Peter, the fresh chauffeur
about whom Mrs. Plute was so solicit
Gus. Mr.. and Mrs. Middle Class pile
into their carbon-choked, frame.
sprung, clackety-bang three-year-old
model and stew around IS minutes
with starter, primer and other trou-
bles before they can do any whisking, |
Jim and Mary grab a Thirteenth
street car and hang onto a strap.
Alfred and Lena get their CARTS
painted yellow and says Florence"
in little lighted window in the front