The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1918-07-25
Secretary Gets Chance to Show
All He Knows.
GRINs and KEEPS At IT
Solves conuDdrums With Cine. Hand
While He shoveIs Out Smokes and
Writing Paper With tho Other
Mostly He Knocks Out Three.6ag.
gers and Homers, but Once in Q
While III. Fans. s,.......

From tho, Stars and stripes.)
Have you ever hung over desk In
a Y. NJ. G. A. hut long enough to get
u slant on the questions the gang hurls
over the mound to the secretary be-
hind there?
They are like the Question Box col
umns Of so Siwash newspapers rolled
into one, and the way the old boy with
the red triangle on his sleeve bats ut
'em and knocks out three-baggers and
homers with 'en Is sure a caution.
or course, sometimes he fans. but
then what would any fellow do after
he's been handing out all day long 2.
A. ut - centimes per each. swapping
Scent American postage stamps for
soup wrapper French money, shooting
Il lot Of bull to a crowd Of rufnex to
write home to mother, or cashing post
Office money orders for $903 or $7.85
when the rate Of exchange Is ST., and
then some doughboy asks him how to
write letter to his brother In Montey.
Niger.
Ill, Grins and Goes on. .r
Wouldn't that make any. ordinary
cuss rear up on his hond legs and blow
off steam? But the ~" fellow just
grins and goes to 1t. l can't help think
In sometimes that fellows Just ask. a
"Y" man lot Of fool questions to see
II they can get his angora. For in.
stance, here's some heard with me.
own eyes yesterday afternoon in Is
minutes while l was waiting for a
~" man to look up and see II Bloody
Mary killed Queen Elizabeth or If Bes-
sic done the trick to Bloody Mary.
"How do you spell 'provincialism?'
Imagine X. P. pulling that, will you7
"How much postage does it take to
send a hanky with Souvenir de France
broidered on 1T"
Then some crophead what looks like
he's doing P. G. work at Sing-Sing
asks: "Where in hell is A. P. Q. 958O?"
Then a big fat slob Of an Arbuckle
from the Pin SINGERS comes in with
caddoky over his sergeant's chevrons
and springs this one: whats the
French word for kiss?"
Then lollypolly second loot blows
in. "What was the date the Loosl-
tania sunk ?" asks the loot. "
Then comes In d couple Of colored
boys from below the Wright and Dit
son line and they buys some plug and
sweet chocolate, and one Of 'em leans
over the counter like he was feeling
for the rail with his right foot and
wanted at the same time to whisper to
Harry in the white coat that he was
awful thirsty but he didn't have the
centimes to raise a gusher, and he
says >low.like to the sec.:
How 10 This one7
"Say, boss, me and buddy wants to
know If you all was, ever serving bah
in the caffy Of the Jeffson hotel in
Fancy springlng that on "" guy!
Then along comes a fellow what
used to be cavalryman on the bor-
der. He was one Of them hard-boiled
ones what spit rust.
Say" he says, looking as prominent
as the white citizens committee, who
was the guy in the Bible what had a
thousand James all to hisself, and was
there a Jew named Joseph who was
$. 0. l.. cause he had a fancy overseas
hat and his pals couldn't get none at
the Q. M.?"
Wonder what struck him? Must have
got religion all to Oncet.
Then a pink.faced mommer's boy
strolled in. to, get some writing paper
to write love letter to his Lizzie and
I got so darn disgusted that they let
q thing like that wash his mess kit in
a U. s. pan that l just thanks the ~"
man, and turns around and goes to
work and splits on. the floor and beats
It.
Gee! them Y. NJ. c. A. fellers sure
ought to have the Crooks de Gurr, al
right.