Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1918-11-22
WHEN ELECTION NEWS
ARRIVED AT POTSDAN.

ARRIVED AT POTSDAN.
(Translated with some difficulty
from the original Hunscript Of Kari
Rosner, the Kaiser's own Creel, by
Albert H. Laidlaw.)
Having long ago forgotten his
great ecstacy. inspired by the result
n Maine, his imperial majesty, En-
peror Wilhelm II of Germany. Kini.
of Prussia, sat in the darkest coIu:r
of the gloomiest room of the imper
ial punkhauS at Potsdam. 1t ~as
easy to see that he was undergoing
a severe attack of sturm und drang
for tears were in hs eyes as he gaz-
ed piteously upon o bunch Of violets
he had just gathered in the bone
dry winter garden adjoining tho
palace.
And well might his majesty be
thus a-weeping found. Unconfrmed
reports had reached his ears that
Max Harden was dead!
1
or. burying his beak in the one
good hand that held the volets.
Poor Max! Dead! Next to Lieb-
necht. he was my best friend. Some
trauerspiel. believe mel"
The Emperor started at the sound
of silent footsteps in an adjoining
hallway.
| well. vos iss!" he demanded OF
the liveried kellner who had enter
ed.
highness, the Crown Prince is with
out. your majesty" replied the me-
NAL, covering his iron cross with
his hand to keep it from cutting his
chin as he bowed.
"Wotinell does the uummkopf
want this time. Has he conducted
another glorious and victorious re-
treat at the expense of those Amer
lean schniggle-fritzen?"
HE says, your majesty, he would
have unter vier augen NIT YOU
uns."
Every we'll. show the young wip-
per-schnapper in" adding to him
self, as the bellhop bowed himself
out: II wish to Colt that boy had
never gone to war;"
Pop. I've great news." exclaim-
ed the royal dummkopf, dashing in
to the room with the speed of a
schnellzug.
The Kaiser rose,
And beneath his nose.
The Grown Prince held
With majestic pose
] A copy of an extra edition of the
Berliner Lokal-Anzeiger.
Colt sci dank for that" ex-
claimed the Emperor. tossing his
bountiful bunch OF baby blue vio-
lets to the far side of the room.
YAH" sighed the imperial
dummkopf, elevating his retreatins
chin to jubliant juxtaposition
Now that the Republicans have
won the election. we shant need to
go through all this bother of an
armistice and a negotiated peace
We can win the war now by vic
torious and unconditional surrender
to Foch."
And perhaps" suggested thu
Emperor, emitting triumphant a.
we'll as sagacious chuckle, perhaps
Wilson will quit cluttering up my
correspondence, with which l am
getting altogether too far behind
already yet"
1t may be well to mention that
at this point both the kaiser and
his Imperial dumnkopfshipp were IN
too high spirits to remain within
the gloomy portals of the royal
punkhaus, SO adjourned TO their
favorite Potsdam weinstube more
appropriately to give expression to
their ecstatic feelings and to utter
jibes at the expense of Lloyd George
Premier Clemenceau. King Albert
and the Italian war cabinet, who.
they triumphantly admitted, must
surely feel punk over the American
peoples reputation Of Kitchin, Dent.
Huddleson, Heating, Salisbury, JIM
ham and S. Edsel Ford's flag-rally-
ing, patriotic parent.
There's Dent. for instance" said
the Emperor. wiping a spatter OF
suds from the imperial hedge adorn
ing his upper lip. "Gott strafe him!
Now that the Republicans have a
majority in the House. Dent cant
| stand in our way anylonger. II, as
chairman of the House Military
committee. that schweinhund Dent
| had his way the United States