The Washington herald., 1918-03-04
Which Should Love the More?
BY DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

a correspondent asks this question
AT the time Of marriage which
should be the more in love. the man
or the woman"
The man.
OF course the ideal condition Of af-
fairs is when Cupid holds the scales
in an even hand and the couple enter
matrimony on a ffty-Gfty devotion
basis. Unfortunately. however. in this
imperfect world. conditions are sell
dom just exactly what they should
be. 1t Is only too true that in most
marriages. az the old French proVerb
says, "One kisses; the ether suffers
herself or himself 10 be kissed
Such being the case and love not
being matter OF volition that we can
summon at will, as We turn tine water
on at the tap. il is far more impor-
tant for the man TO 20 to ihe altar
bubbhng over with romantic love tran
it is for the woman to be effcrvescing
with those sentiments.
There are many good and cogent
reasons why the man should be more
in love at the time of marriage than
the woman. To begin with, love plays
a much bigger part in the life Of Ii
woman than it does in the life OF a
man. 1t is much more important TO
a woman to be loved than it is To a
man. To man love Is merely the
icing on the cake of life, but to a
woman love is the bread of life, and
she starves and peTishCs without II.
man has a million interests outside
of the state OF his affections, but
the heart interest is the only interest
of the great majority of women.
Therefore, IL II man is married to a
woman who gives him only luke
warm affection he can DC perfC city
happy if she il pleasant. agree able.
easy to get along with. and a sooI
housekeeper He has other things tC
think about than the temperature OF
his wife's devotion, and anyway. the
average man is no more critical OF his
wife's love than he Is of her ribbons
If they are pretty. pink and attrac-
tive. he doesn't concern himself with
whether they are near silk or super
fine silk.
On the other hand. a woman is for
ever sitting with her hand or tie pulse
OF her husbands love, and woe TO
Itl NilFH EhN Nlal u
gone down from fever heat to normal
or below normal No mater how good
and kind. and generous he may he tC
her she is miserable. She wants the
real devotion OF his heart. Nothirg
else makes up to her for missing it
Having that she can be happy in a
hoveI Lacking it she is wretched IN
a palace.
Moreover, this also is to be said
that while a woman who entertains
only lukeWarm affection for her
husband often makes the most duti'
full and considerate OF wives. the
man who is not madly in love witt
his wife is almost invariably a bruta
husband. Women can substitute con-
science for love. turning out suct
satisfactory jobs as wives that thell
husbands never know the difference.
But it takes the inspiration of the
grand passion itself, to give a mar
tenderness. patience and insight tC
deal with all the vagaries of the
! feminine temperament; to treat y
wife in a way that makes her happy
and turns matrimony for her into g
grand, sweet song. The unloving wife
may be a good wife, but the unloving
| husband is never a good husband.
Another reason why man should be
more in love than the woman at the
time of marriage is because marriage
for some inexplicable reason, appears
to be more disillusioning to men thar
! it is to women. Somehow for mer
the romance evaporates more swiftly
than for women, the gilt on the
gingerbread is more quickly rubbed
| off,
Heaven knows why this should be
1t only is. To the dispassionate OBJ,
server a bay-windowed, triple-chinned,
| bald-headed man, is no more an object