Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-09-20
XNIN,

DUTH sat alone in her room crouched
lC up into a big chair. Through the
window she could see the lighted VIM
dows of the apartment house opposite,
and the sounds of the city ebbed and
pulsed around her. The thought came
to her as 1t had com& to many people
before, that every lighted window meant
the presence Of human beings and
where there were people there were
problems that had to be decided The
fact that her own special problem seemed
paramount was the only thing that mat
tered
1t made no difference how she faced
things. there was no way out. over
and over again she whispered these
words aloud Scott is missing. Scott is
missing" and over and over again her
heart repeated Il love him, l love him.
At last she admitted the great truth.
the truth that had staggered her when
she had first faced It earlier that day.
Reasoning did not help matters, there
was no reason at all in this great over
whelming feeling that had surprised
her with it's intensity. 1t was impos-
sible to say, II shouldn't love him,
should love Jack. I did love jack at
one time not long ago, why have chang
ed?" Yes. it was all very well TO admit
these facts, but there was nothing to
be done about It.
But if he were alive, Her heart
leaped at the thought. If he were alive
things would not he quite so black.
Even If she had made mess Of her
own life she could go through with 1t.
If only that report about Scott were
wrong II was worth something to
discover her real feelings: 1t was worth
suffering like to this to arrive some
where definitely. Ruth Rowland would
never again be the same girl who had
played lightly on the surface of life,
who had feared to face change and
revolution, and who had wanted things
to go on forever in the easy, carefree
manner of her glrlhood. She had passed
all that. left it behind her on the road
Of life and had taken up instead the
burden of pain caused by her youth
ful inexperence. Some day when the
bitterness of it all had passed away
she would be better off for having lived
and suffered, but youth in sufferlng
never thinks of time as a friend.
Even as Ruth had at one time tried
to shirk her share of the sacrifice OF
war. she now longed for an over
amount of sacrifice to make UP for 1t.
She allowed herself to dream shame
less'y of the way she would have felt
If instead of all the mistakes she had
made. she had probed deeply for her real
feelings in the first place. II she had
married Scott as Helen had married
Jim Townsend, the pain of losing him
would have been almost unbearable, but
there would at least have been the
thought that there was nothing to re-
gret. If Helen lost Jim she could carry
through life with her the knowledge that
she had faced the issue with him. and
together they had done the only thing
possible. But il Scott had really been
killed there was nothing for Ruth TO
face but a life of sacrifice married to
the wrong man and the thought of what
might have been to torment her peace
of mind always.
But there were other people facing
their troubles that night. Mrs. Raymond
tense with anguish. faced the problem
of the fact that her only son was re-
ported missing. If she had maintained a
brave front before Ruth. she gave way
almost as soon as she was alone again
| Try as she would she could not delude
herself into thinking that Scott might
have escaped in some miraculous man.
ner. Miracles did not often happen and
this was a war of science not of chance
And there was Jack. the other mem
ber of this strange little triangle. II
Ruth had problems to decide Jack was
facing some of his own that night. Jack
was not coward, nor was he a pacitist
he simply did not see the use of get
ting into the conflict and losing his life
now that he had been exempted. But
back of Jacks slow-working brain there
was a mighty capacity for feeling and
Jack loved Ruth Rowland, loved her
with every bit of manliness there was
in him. Any man who loves a good
woman unselfishly and devotedly should