New-York tribune., 1918-06-27
No Title
BY Haywood Broun


estate agent and watch him fix 1t.
The old man from down the road also came
over to watch. He was chewing a straw
and he wore a pair Of suspenders called
Sampson. I asked about the weather first,
and he said, without much interest, that it
had been too cool and too rainy Then he
took up the questioning.
"What part of the country you
from?" he inquired.
said New York, and added New York
City
eyes; I know" said the farmer. "I've
been there / saw the Hudson-Fulton cele
braton. I've seen about everything" he
said II went to the San Francisco Expo
sition."
nodded, and he went on: "Chicago was
the first stop, and then we went through
Kansas. Out Of the window you could see
wheat and corn all the way along. 1t was
beautiful. And then by and bye we came
TO the Rocky Mountains They're mighty
big mountains, and it took three engines
to pull the train up. Sometimes on the
curves you could almost touch the engine.
Every now and then we'd go through tun-
mel. Then went down south into the
big desert. There was nothing there but
sagcbrush. And they took us up to the
Grand Canyon. Did you ever see it 2" he
asked.
| lied and said yes, but he went on:
"The Grand Canyons 1873 miles long and
twenty-five miles wide and one mile deep.
I grabbed hold of tree and looked over
the edge, and down there at the bottom
.;,>I, ->.I~.
yellow, and there were horses heads and
horses hoofs and barns and castles and
haystacks and everything better than an
artist could have DONE"
II don't suppose you've seen any of these
submarines around here" interrupted, as
a possible diversion.
"Oh, yes; I've seen them," he said; mot
here, but out at the San Francisco Exposi-
ton, They had submarines and floating
mines. They're big. They look like an old
fashioned white turnip, and they float un-
der the water, and when a ship strikes one
it blows up An they had big buildin' out
at the fair as big as that barn, and in the
middle of it butter-making machine,
and it could turn out more butter in an af-
ternoon than l get off this place in year.
w
high, and it had 1885 jewels on it from
Persia. And they all shone in the sun. And
they had flying machines, too At night
they put lights on 'em, and they went up in
the air and turned somersaults over and
over again. l wouldn't go up in one of 'em
if you was to give me all that meadow land
over there.
"After we left the fair we went up north
through the spruce forests, and they tell
me now that the governments sent. 5000
! men up there to cut that spruce and put it
into the flying machines, an I suppose
some of those trees I saw are up in the
air now turning somersaults
eve didn't stop agin till we got to De-
troit. That's where they make the Fords.
Tin Lizzies they call 'em around here. But
| always say, What difference does it make
what they call 'em if they can do the work ?
always say one of 'em's as good as a
horse-as good as two horses An then we
came back here and I've stuck around for
a spell cause think I've seen most every-
thing there is"
BY that time the real estate agent had
hxed the tire, and drove away. The
man with the Sampson suspenders was
looking rather contemptuously at his flock
of sheep. They would never get to San
Francisco.