The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-01-05


 record.
 Yaqui Indians attacked Southern Pacific train and killed s6 persons, but were unable to open safe con taining s20,0Oo in gold and 1t was re- covered intact. The Yaquis need the plentifully supplied with nitroglycerin soup"
 What is good enough for my old one," Lord Rhondda is quoted as say ing If his 'Ludship" really said "my old woman" England is getting to be | far more democratic than we supposed # x $. l Admiral Benson says the morale of German submarine crews is good. How ever it is hardly probable that Ger man sailors fight among themselves for an opportunity to go U-boating. l < * # "The semi-nude chorus girl must go," says reformer. But why?" we may suppose the front row habitue asking. Theatres are always comfortably heated, so she won't catch cold" # 4 # | "On Tuesday night enemy airmen dropped bombs on Castelfranco veneto, obtaining two direct hits on two hos pitfalls. Eighteen patients were killed" Thus the Hun wins distinction. | * ,. * l With a large number of parlor and sleeping cars withdrawn from service, what will become of that important functionary. the Pullman "potah?" x < < | When a woman conductor says, Move forward, please" every male strap hanger instinctively obeys, with out pausing to wonder why. 1 * Y <
 Those Teuton diplomats have learned to their sorrow that the bolsheyilli know the exact number of cards there ought to be in a deck. | sS # #
 "The soldiers must be entertained" Righto. Give them an early opportu- nifty to swat the Boche There's a lot of fun in that.
 The boarding house keeper who learned thrift years ago is not put out by any of MT. Hoover's drastic recom- mendations.
 | The failure of Hungary's seventh war loan shows that Hungarians are 1 tired of handing over their hard-earned kronen.
 There is a shortage of nearly every thing except politicians. The supply of politicians always exceeds the de- mand.
 The Kaiser is one person who never feels like kicking himself. That 4 would be confession of weakness.
 < # # l When a soldier lover there" Is 1! pushing up the daisies' he's gone west" In other words. he's dead.
 # * #
 The food shortage in England will make John Bull less apopletic than he's ever been before.
 
 ONLY THE WEST FRONT COUNTS 1 From the London Times. It is known that We have roughly 100000 men in France and 100000 in l other theatres of war The 100000 in 1 France are not all fighting men by any means. When we add up the bayonets and the guns available in France and add them to those of the French Amer jeans, Belgians and Portuguese, the re- sulting fighting strength, compared with that of the enemy, is not adequate to promise victory in ambitious. offensive operations It never has been. In exterior operati tions, other than those in France including Saloniki, where a firm decision is badly needed we have men enough to turn the scales in France. In sending so many troops to these dis tant theatres, and in changing defensive into offensive strategy we have made a bad use of force. We have not yet fought in these distant theatres with Germans, and Germany has not wasted her strength upon operations which set tie nothing, no matter hoy brilliantly ex- ecuted. A reconsideration of all these distant operations is necessary now, and it is pressing. It avails us nothing to occupy Jerusalem and Bagdad, if in the l main theatre we are not successful.
 
 LUKE M'LUkE SAYS
 Some folks imagine that sympathy consists of buttonholing poor worried hunger and telling him how badly he looks.
 It is a good thing that time isn't money. If it were. the laziest people would be wealthiest.
 Never judge mans generosity by the way he blows in his coin in a kaif. Take a look at his wife's clothes.
 A German scientist claims to have dis. covered something that Is 300 times nor. destructive than gun cotton. But maybe he has just walked up and begun to real ize what kind of an animal the Kaiser