davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
Well Informed,

Man, why did you give your wife
pearl necklace for birthday pres
ent? Do you know that pearls mean
tears?"
Don't just? She cried till she got
Baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
Not so Bad.

''Is this son Of yours adolescent?"
"0h, no, sir; he's just little queer
in the head. Baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

II will fix this nutmeg flavoring for
you, II you like"
Indeed, then, I would take 1t as a
crate favor. Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
A New Problem,

''The pen is said to be mightier than
the sword" ......
Eyes, that's an old story. But where
shall we place the swagger stick?"-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

"The knight of old begged his lady
love for her glove"
"And the modern lover begs his girl
not to hand him the mitten."-Ex.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

young Millyuns has been drinking
himself almost to death, and now he's
got his family wild by going off and
marrying circus girl"
II know her, and the boy knows
what he's about. She's a snake charm
er."-Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
The Suitable One,

Whom can we send to the ZOO to
write up that bear story?"
why not send one of the cub re-
porters ?"-Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
His system.

Van Speederley-rd like you to
meet my wife, old top. think that q
bold. dashing fellow like you could get
her away from me.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

They had come to the fruit course.
She took a peach and bit into II. Can
nibal!" he said to her. "You, tool" she
retorted. He was eating u nut.-Bos.
ton Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

"How are those bathing suits you
are making coming on?"
"0h, they're coming on swimming
baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

ADVICE.
Learn to say "No." young fellow,
Learn to say "No"--and then
You won't in the gold gray morning
Be saying: "Never again!"
Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

Southern Prosperity Song.
When we have spareribs,
For to chew,
We don't have spare ribs
Showing through.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

"My broker told me must give him
something to put up on this DEAL"
"Well, did you put up anything?"
"All had-my umbrella. ."-Ex.
| change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

Tommy was such a hard boy to
manage. How did they make him the
star pupil at school?"
"Sure. ma'am, they cut out his aster'
oids. Baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

Proving IL.
"0ur friend Bessie seems to have
quite an open disposition"
quite. She never shuts up."--Ex-
change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
Rural Perslflaue.

what drives the cattle to drink"
II suppose 1t is the rye fields. Eek.
change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

He-They say the woman's vote in
this district is very light.
She-Nothing Of the sort. Nearly
every woman registered is brunette.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
ALIENS Foor.EAsE DOES TT

When your shoes pinch or your Corns and Bun.
ions ache. get Aliens Foot Ease, the antiseptic
powder to be shaken into shoes and sprinkled in
the bath. Gives instant relief to Tired, Ach-
ing. Tender Feet. Sample FREE. Address Allen
S. 0lmsted, Leroy, New York. -
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

A Parodoxicai Sign.
II can always tell when my husband
is going to be close with his money"
''How?"
"By his far-away look when I ask
him for some."-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08
Snarty.

Smarty.
Il saw a man yesterday who has
been driving customers away from
your store"
"Who was he?"
"a cabman. an."-Brooklyn Citizen.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

A Wintry Warning.
oh, pretty snowbird, have a care
While hopping through the street!
For scantly grows the bill of fare.
And you are good to eat.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1918-02-08

Mary had a little limp
And burrows in her brow.
She couldn't wear number two
But tried it anyhow.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
BASKET SOCIAL.

The Herald is requested to announce
through it's columns that Miss Clara
Hines, through the able assistance
Of the North Ashley auxiliary of the
Sank Centre Red Cross, will give a
basket social at the school house
seven and one half miles west of Sank
Centre and three and one half miles
northeast of Westport on this Friday
night, March ID. A patriotic pro-
gram will be given by the school and
readings and special music will be
furnished by the auxiliary. Ladies
will please bring baskets filled for
two. The men will please come pre-
pared to buy these baskets anc
chances for a fair partner at a good
round sum. The entire proceeds are
to be given to the Red Cross What
more worthy purpose could there be
with such a good time in connection.
The Auxiliary would greatly appreci-
ate a large representation from all
the surrounding villages, Sank Centre
and the country auxiliaries. The
roads are in good condition and there
is no reason why the entire affair can.
not be made great success.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
SCHOOL ELECTION.

The annual election of the Board of
Education was held last night in the
school house. All the faculty was re-
elected with a raise in salary. The
following have decided to change, and
will go elsewhere next year: N. E.
Schwartz, Helen Acomb, Mamie
Uehren and Marion Remington. Mr..
Schwartz is looking for a superitend-
ency and Mss Helen Acomb has an
other year in her contract but has
resigned. She will take an office in
Minneapolis tn. ecoming year.
These may return. Alice Quig1ey,
Halycon Page, Florence Sharkey,
Emma Chelgren, Vera Whitemore.
Myrtle Johnson, Earl Springer.
Joseph Heraly, c. e. Lucas, Alice
Mossford, Marie Whtcomb, Elsie
Palm, Dorothy Stephens, Emily Chel-
gren, Edith Taylor, Viva Nesbitt and
Agnes Lynne.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
ORATORY AND DEBATE.

There will be two contests held in
the auditorium of the Junior high
school on Friday evening, March
fifteenth at 7:45 o'clock. An admis-
sion fee of ten cents will be charged.
The first is an oratorical one in
which there will be four speakers, a
boy and girl from Benson, Mimi;
the girl who represented Alexandria
in the subdivision contest held here
three weeks ago; and Donald Lewis
of Sank Centre, who won first place
in the same contest with "The War
Message" by President Wilson. a
Then will come the final in the SER
les of class debates. This is between
the Sophomores and Juniors; the
Sophomore team consisting of Homer
Bisel, Mildred DuBeau and Oliver
Cass, the Junior team of Glenn Bohall,
Chester Bisel and Lula Lamb.
- AS those who attended the former
oratorical contest know, an event OF
this kind is<very. interesting and dc
serving of a large attendance The
added attraction of debate the same
night is unusual. it means much to
our boys and girls to see the town
turn out to an affair of this. kind.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14

Nut-Ola 30c per h.; 29c per ID in
5 pound lots or more at The Mart.
Special this week only.
Mrs. w. o. P. Hilsdale left Monday.
for Minneapolis where she remained
for several days attending to business
matters in the interests of the Sank
Centre branch of the Red Cross.
Anyone wishing Smileage Books to
send to soldier in training may oro-
cure them at the post office. The sale
is going rapidly and those intending
to buy<any had better do so at once.
Call at the Electric Shop-Phone Is
when you wish for anything electrical
or wiring done promptly. North Of
Library.
E. H. Beris of Long Prairie was
caller in Sank Centre couple of
days this week. He is a breeder of
the famous Guernsey cattle and is
widely known throughout the state.
Nut-Ola 30c per 1b.; 29c per ID in
pound lots or more at The Mart.
Special this week only.
G. HILLERUD & co. SELL THE
GEO. H. LEE CHICKEN REMEDIES
AND LEG, BANDS.
F. w. Sprague left Saturday noon
for Minneapolis where he joined Mrs.
Sprague and little daughter, who are
guests of relatives. Mr.. and Mrs.
Sprague and Miss Susan Amelia re-
turned Wednesday evening.
Frank M. Eddy arrived in Sank
Centre from st. Cloud Sunday night
and will remain here for some time.
Mr.. Eddy is much better after his
severe attack of pneumonia, although
it will be months before he will be
able to resume his speaking tours.
LEES LICE KILLER, KILLS THE
RED MITES AS WELL AS THE
LICE. APPLY ON ROOST, 1T DOES
THE REST, AT G. HILLERUD & CO.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
Congregational Church Notes.

sThe task before the American
Government is not to train an army
but to train a nation"
Sunday school at Ills; preaching
service at 2:3O. This is probably the
last of the afternoon services. Sub
ject rs L A C K E r S." Young
Peoples Pilgrim League at 7:3O. The
League meets with G. Vandesteeg and
there will be a costume talk by
Miss Goodsell on Palestine. Wednes-
day next Bible study and prayer meet
ing at home of L. Irish at 7:30. You
are welcome to attend these services.
Cecil S. Sparkes, Pastor
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14

March 18th, at 1880 a. m. morning
prayer and sermon on THE Passion
of Jesus Christ" Sunday school ses-
sion from IL to 1 p. m. Regular
Lenten services at the Rectory on
Wednesday at p. M, and Fridays
at 7:3O p. m. Everyone is invited.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
Church of Our Lady of the Angels.

Church of Our Lady of the Angels.
Rev. John A. Fearon, Pastor.
Friday evening at 1880 there will
be Way Of the Cross and Benediction
of the Blessed Sacrament.
The services Sunday morning will
be at the usual hours.
Sunday evening at 1880 there will
be Devotions sermon and Benediction
of the Blessed Sacrament. Subject Of
the sermon: @The Church Of Jesus
Christ"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1918-03-14
WITH THE CHURCHES
First Methodist Church.
"The Friendly Church. /"

Rev. Francis Boone, Pastor.
Morning worship 1890; Sunday
school 1900 M; Epworth League at
$50 p. M; Evening Service at 7:30.
Prayer, and Bible study Wednesday,
7:30 p. m.
900
Church of the Good Samaritan.
Rev. Arthur Goodger Rector.
Services will be held on Sunday,
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11

The greatest in history ended this morning AT o'clock
Washington time, 5G7 days of horror during which ,r
uallF The whole civilized world has been confused
Ann"nrmcuI oi the tremendous made at the state
department h, capitol - O'clock this morning aud ia
few cc"u, flashed throughout the continent by the ASso
cattd Press,
"Details of the dictated by Marshal Foch Friday fore
to the German umisUc delegates have not been given ont
h is believed they u such nature aS To protect the world
from resumption o the struggle h the Germans II is as
mod that they call for the disqualification oi Germany army
the part her fleet and the dsurg of hc rest
aud Of ASacc Lorraine IL is probable also thar Germany has
agreed 60 call home all her troops now in Russia ad Rouman
The announcement of the state department did moi tell
aNthpo Of the Marshal Fucs headquarters the time
oclock Paris time the signatures of Germany DELEGATES were
the document which blasted forever the dreams which
cmbrolcd the world IN struggle which has cost at the very low"
estimate l0,O00000 lives.
began the Tculouc alliance was headed by two
the prols houses u history the llohnzilcrnS aud The
llapshurgS To-day. William II. of Germany j. fugitive IN IIo
ti has been stripped of power and has seen his empire Nhai"r
ed Fcraud Of ugarn another of th" rulers IN The Truonc
combinations has fled from his and Mohaumod v o
Turkey who also ioiuc in the attempt of Germany TO dominate
world is dead STAIN is said lay the hand of au assassin
While the curtain rolling down the most SnpmdouS
tragedy in mankndS history events were moving WIN terrible
SwfncSs in Gcn the nation about which rc'ocd TIA" plot
and councrplo of the drami Berlin LcpHc. Stuttgart, col
oonc Hamburg Frankfort the hands OF the rcvoIu
tionists who last week raised the red flag kic Gcrma
navy apparently is scattered into dsioncd units each seeking
sanctuary in Danish ports waiting in German mrhls for the
latest turn of events
Crowds singing the "Masciluisc are marching through IA,
auocrac Berlin and soldiers aud workmcS o0m
Gil has taken the government of the empire
Wurtcmburg S'hleSwig lolst"in and Icc Damsad have
declared themselves independent republics following the action
taken by Bavaria last Friday Wilhelm H. of Wultcmhulg Il
reported abdicad Saxony is said Zee lik,
declaration and the lcyonlionSs said to be- in control o
Dresden
The republic Poland has official notice Austria
that Poland has annexed The Crownland of Galicia
As the hours the mighty combat drew near, French
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
PRESIDENT WILSON issues
PROCLAMATION TO NATION

Washington D. C. Nov. II-Presiden Wilson issued for
NAL proclamation o'clock this morning announcing that
arnlsitce with Germany had been signed.
The proclamation follows
MY fellow countrynen The armstice signed this
morning Everything for which America fought has been ac-
copshed twill now be our fortunate duty to assist by eX-
ample by sober friendly council and by material aid in the
establishment of just democracy throughout the world
WOODROW WILSON"
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
American Guns Fire
Final Shot at
IL Today

With the American Army on the
Sedan Front, Nov. IL q p. nj
Thousands of American heavy
guns fired the parting shot to the
Germans at exactly IL o clock this
morning.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
PLANS FOR PEACE MEET
NEXT STEP To RESTORE
ORDER THROUGHOUT WORLD
Central Powers, Bound by Fourteen Conditions
Laid Down by the President VIII BE Admitted
to Conferences Under Rigid Restrictions Work
Will Be Fastened So World May Resume Nor
NAL Life; Decisions of Allies Must Prevail.

permanent settlement ~ Tho ,-' n-
sues arising from the great world war
BeginninE Boz august. 1914, us ;ho
direct result nt the assafHinaton ot the
heir to tho AIstrocilungarin throne,
the Archduke Francis ana ms cen
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
RAFTCALLSCANCELLED
BY PRESIDENTS ORDER

Washing, D e., Nov ll-By order PIc.irru Wilson.
Provost Marshal General CroWdrr lddl directed hr 1ucc
uu or all thc standing dali calls stopping thc
during the live days of 352oOO and setting aside m
November calls 3unOOO men
CONTINUED Page Two)
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
BrghtL,ghts on Tonight.

Washington Nov u.-Fucl Administration Garfield today
suspended the ehrcs night order for tonight on, for ccca
lions of peace throughout the country!
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11

New York NOV llA markets sI>pcuiue bu>ucss and
businc, generally is being called halt today. whlr the
lion celebrates
With Wall Street rotously celebrating the board of govern
of hc stock exchange quickly determined suspend the
day. All other markets followed
Chicago, Nov llThc Chicago board trade. the Chicago
stock exchange and hc Chicago livestock exchange AN declared
holiday today and did the produce trade The li,r>ock
exchange requested that avoid congestion a shipments
livestock for Tuesday trade here Ia. withheld
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1918-11-11
ALL BUSINESS CLOSES
AS NATION CELEBRATES
ALBUQUERQUE TO CELEBRATE!
TOIN PARADE AT 2:3O!

The City Commission following hurried meeting tli, morning
ordered that today bc O. legal holiday in Albuquerque
All business ordered closed and the order further specified
at a citizens 30 th, First
parade Robinson park where e clock
celebration ot Peace ou Earth win take place
Norwich bulletin., 1918-06-03
commerioaI South America.

Trade of the United States with South America in 1917 far exceeds that of any earlier year. For the [ rlonths ending with July in 1917, the exports to South America were $162- 69SOOO against SIT, ,78S,O00 in the corresponding months of 1916; S7S, l1S.0O0 in 1915; and s60,000,0O0 in the corresponding months of 1914, all of which immediately preceded the war As the war began in the month of August 1914, ar opportunity is now given to compare in very exact fig ares our trade with South America during the war period with that in tLe period which preceded it.
 A compilation by The National City Bank of New York of the trade with South America in the first seven months of 1917 shows a total of $04I, 900 900 for the seven months ending with July 1917 against S202 100000 ir the corresponding months of 19f4. or ar, increase of over ITO per cent ir the three year period.
 This increase occurs in both i'm ports and exports. Imports from South America, which amounted tC only $142. .352 GOO in the seven months ending with July 1914, the period i'm mediately preceding the war were fol the corresponding months of 1917 3S4,119000, an increase of TO pei cent, while the exports to South Amer l ics which were $60,091, 900 in the sev,
Norwich bulletin., 1918-06-03
Local Laconics.

The degree team of Narragansett Council Knights of Columbus of Westerly conferred the third degree on large class of Seaside Council. in New London Sunday afternoon.
 Dr. John Champlin of Westerly, president of the Rhode Island Medi- cal association announces that the #nnua! meeting will he held in Prov idence, June 6. Samuel H. Davis, of Westerly. will deliver an address on Our Flag.
 Memorial Sunday of the Modern NoCdmen of America was observed in Weeter'v by Granite City camp, by special services in their assembly .rcom Ar address was made by Rev. E. J. Curry. pastor of Grace Metho- dist church.
 Mrs. Lillian S. McLanman. known also as Madam de Brunny, and who has resided in France for the past eight years. is preparing to open a luncheon and tea room. The proceeds will be devoted to the French War Orphans and Charitable Funds Recruiting officers of the marine corps have been directed to obtain as soon as possible electricians especial " dynamo tenders. mechanics who nave lidu eApeTlence Tn the repalr of lnterned combustion engines, and Journeymen mechanics, who desire to enlist for very important but danger ous overseas duty.
 Mrs. Sadie Babcock. wife of Charles H. Babcock. died Friday night at her home in Allenton. R. I. She was born in Westerly, the daughter of MT. and Mrs. Thomas Helme. and besides her husband and mother is survived by three sons and a daughter: also by two sisters, Mrs. Irving Helme and Mrs. Stenhouse.
Norwich bulletin., 1918-06-03

months of 1913, and the exports to the islands approximately1S million dollars against less than 2k millions in the corresponding months of 1913.
 This radical change in the trade with the Netherlands and it East Indian Colonies, due in part to changes in shipping facilities, and in part to the large increase in production in the Dutch East Indies of articles re- quired in the United States, has oc- cured chiefly in the last two years. ! Netherlands had been a large importer of merchandise from the United States. both for it's own use and for resale to the interior of Europe, and with the restrictions placed the move l ments to that country of the class of merchandise which would be desired l by the Central Powers. the exports 1 from the United States to the Neither
 lands showed a marked fall, from | s10l l,892,900 in the nine months end i ing with March, 1915, to $72, ,42S 900 in the corresponding months of 1916. $SS,- 1 2l1,000 in the same months of 1917: and 1 but $11, ,035, 900 in the correspondine period ending with March, 1918.
 l Formerly much of the products ot l the Dutch East Indies, Netherlands
 principal colony, reached the United States by way of the mother country Netherlands, but with the disarrange. ment in shipping, the tendency was tc send the merchandise direct from the place of production in Java, Sumatra
 or the adjacent islands of that group
 to the ports of the United States by the shortest available route. At the same
 time, the production of rubber in Java and Sumatra greatly increased, Ane
 as the United States was the worlds
 largest market in India rubber, the ex.
 ports of. that article direct from the
 Dutch East Indies to the United State,
 greatly increased, and the shipments | of. rubber from the Netherlands to th&
 U4 tied States fell of. In the full ifs, ] cal year 1914. all of which preceded
Norwich bulletin., 1918-06-03
STONINCTCN
State Guard Field Day Attracts Many Visitors to Borough - Burrows Building Being Remodeled.

There was unusual activity in the trough Sunday. caused by the arri- and departure of the Third regi- nt. Connecticut State Guard that i it's field day at .Stoneridge. the
 Q of Major Charles P. Williams, citizen soldiery was the mag
 that drew great many automo-
 narties to the town. and those 70 were not fortunate enough to de in automobiles came by trolley 's7rs. It was big day for Stoning- ton.
 Stonington Pointers.
 After visit to relatives in Nor 'vich. Mrs. Frank Shannon and Miss 'hannon have returned home.
 James Young and Thomas Kinnard liter 8 visit in the borough have re- turned to Newport.
 Mir. and Mrs. Daniel Sullivan have "eturned from Hartford.
 MT and Mrs. William H. Halleti have as their guest, Mrs. James Nc iowan of Newport
 The Barows building is being i'm. proved and so@7 a restaurant will be esta blished therein.
 Mir. and Mrs. Karl A. Reiche. o. Bristol; Conn, were weekend visi. tors with Mrs, Reiche's parents. Judge and Mrs L. D. Fairbrother.