The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-03-05
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

Romans, for when they called all kinds of baggage impedimenta they hit the nail on the head, for that is just what they are.
 I recently made little railroad jour- ney. I couldn't read because of the light. I used up the passengers con versationally and having to sit alone with my own thought I began to think about the many names and shapes of impedi- menta carried by twentieth century men and women thousands of years since Ju- lius Caesar, dead and turned to clay, according to the great bard. might stop a hole to keep the wind away. q wouldn't mind if the modern Kaiser could be put to such use)
 
 Now I am writing this in a hotel of yarns at the table next to me. In my vicinity another commercial tourist is trying to sell several customers bill of machinery. The porters are rushing to and fro. The telephone bell is con- stantly ringing The clerk is endeavoring to be facetious. Dishes are being rattled in the dining room. A laughing, flirting young thing has just got the men a. going. But why enumerate any more. give the local coloring merely to show | .x,t,, { I write is not to be history of the ev olution of impedimenta, but mere sketchy skit of my own lucubrations on the subject
 Now, I am not an expert on impedi- thorty on anything. l have heard an old seasoned traveller say that he could sit in a coach and tell by the satchels carried the station in life and the busi- ness of those carrying them. To prove it he began, and whether he hit it or not, he made many shrewd and wise re- marks on those who entered the train. He claimed a banker carried a certain kind of grip, lawyer another, an actor one peculiar to his profession, salesman gave away his line by the things he toted, and all down the line.
 So I thought would make a trip into "grpology' on my own account. I first began by looking at the ones in the racks (this wasn't in an L. & N. coach, where the porter politely takes them down as fast as the passengers put them up, because forsooth in years past one fell on the head of a passenger and he recovered damages), but on a rail- road where the management allows the public large liberty in disposing of hand luggage, and thereby keeps the aisles from being clogged. hope MT. McAdoo will restore unto us our liberties and gers use the racks for other things than overcoats and cloaks.
 Let's see how we have changed the word impedmenta, or rather found any number of new names to call the things we carry in our hands when we make a journey. I am old enough to remember the famous old multi-colored carpetbass, and according to my notions they have never improved on it's shape or carrying capacity by any of the modern inven- tions in hand luggages. About the ear ting bags which the dear women are lugging about to the worry of every house detective in the department stores, for here in Birmingham one enterpris- ing shoplifter managed to put tailor made suit into one of them and make get away only to be caught in another store while lifting small article. I do not, however, hope for the return of the carpet-bag, for the 'carpet- -bagger'' brought the name into bad odor
 I will run over rapidly some of the names in use. I will overlook some, but you who read this can add them. Va lise, grip. handbag. Boston bag q got one for a Christmas present, and 1t is mighty handy), Gladstone bag, satchel, telescope, reticule the very name sug- gests the dear old women of former days), suitcases portmanteaus, luggage (very sweet and English. by Jove).
 Did you ever hear of "excess bag gage?" If not, you are indeed lucky, for it has caused many an argument and been responsible for much bad language. It is now very much better regula ted than of yore and the old days when it was the custom to tip the porters and get by with overweight have been done away with, for the railroads have got 1t down to system. Excess baggage means big expenditure for many trav- elers, and particularly so for drummcrs and actors. Not only is excess baggage charged these days, but the size Of trunks handled is regulated by law and you can't carry house with you as of yore. The day of frank baggage is passed.
 A whole article could be devoted to the art of checking as practiced in this coun- try and in Europe. I admit that the European system got me on my first grand tour and after that I travelled light, almost as light as MT. Barnes of New York, Gunters, famous American, who when asked by an English girl # he never travelled with any luggage. re- piled. "Oh, yes, sometimes when I am making a long trip carry walking stick l got it down nearly that fine