The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-08-29

. hand. we suggest that he secure
few million of the dragons and turf
: them loose here before "Duck Day
"All the little boys and girls who
wish to go to heaven" said Sunday
school superintendent, twill please
rise" Whereupon all, with the ex-
ception Of Sammy Scruggs, rose
"And doesn't this little boy want to
go to heaven?" asked the superin-
tendent in surprise. "Not yeti" said
Sammy.
News comes from Russia that that
country is coming back, and front
will re restored in the East next year.
If it is all the same to the Russians,
can't they make it strong stone wall
instead Of the ordinary front? We
want something substantial and de-
pendable to slam the Huns against
when we run them back there next
year.
Two ladies' were married to musi-
clans. The one, bride of year, was
pushing carriage in which were
three fine babies, triplets-all girls
The other had been in the bonds of
matrimony couple of weeks only.
what beautiful children" exclaimed
the newly married one with interest.
Eyes," replied the proud mother, "but
let me tell you the funniest coinci-
dence. At the wedding supper the
boys who played with my husband in !
the orchestra serenaded him and they
played, Three Little Maids from the
'Mikado.' Isn't it queer?" At this
the other bride turned pale. Mercy"
she gasped, "do you suppose that had
anything to do with it? At our we'd
ding supper Toms friends serenaded
him. too, and they rendered The Sex
.ette from Lucia"
Speaking further of Archimedes
remarked Old Bill Mis-
,ivens. "by way of variety he tried
lis hand on lot of other inventions.
FOR instance, he invented a combined
lair restorer and hair dye which was
lot only to color the hair or beard
my hue desired, but it was to make
air grow on any bald head. There
vas old Elias Shoemaker, who had
cen bald for so years and who grew
he greatest crop of whiskers of any
IAN i'm his county. Elias's wife died
nd in about six months he began to
ook around for another. His whis-
ers were streaked considerably with
ray and his hair was getting white.
occurred to him that if he had
I'LL head of fine brown hair and whis-
ers it would help a great deal in
taking an impression on the young
omen. Archimedes told him that
e had lotion that sure would grow
new crop of hair where thes bald
lace was and also change the color
{ both his hair and whiskers to a
edutliui DTOWH anu Ildl IL WOuluH
,st him cent. Elias was man
no disliked being pried loose from
IS money and the idea of getting
wv head of hair and turning what
, had together with his whiskers to
beautiful brown, sounded good to
m. So he told Archimedes to go to
The first dose didn't seem to have
ucn effect, but the second did. Some
wv or other Archimedes had made
mistake in the coloring matter and
Elias's beard and hair and
e bald place on his head turned to
deep green. Elias was hopping mad
id insisted that Archimedes must do
netting to take out the color. Ar
imedes did his best, but the only
'ect was to set the color. Cows
,uld come up to Elias and try to
Ike bites out of his whiskers under
e impression that they were alfalfa.
nally he had to shave off his whis
rs and have his hair clipped, but
at left him with the top of his head
inted green, but no hair showing.
at made Elias so hot that he hunt
Archimedes up with the intention
licking him. Archimedes saw him
ming and had bunch of what he
IS coming for and made his get
ay. Elias chased him for half
lie until his wind gave out. 1t was
months before Archimedes dared
come back into the neighborhood.
other invention that Archime les
rked on was one to stop the bray
a mule learn that they are ery-
to eliminate the bray of mule
n in France, now, but Archimedes
S the first man | ever heard max =
an attempt of that kind. He got
invention, as he thought, in work
order and went out to the barn to
fasten it to a large dun mule. They ic
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