davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Paw Knows Everything

Wilie-Paw. what Is q hermit!
aPaw-A hermit Is q person VINO
minds his own business and doesn't
gossip about other people. M son.
Willie-Are there any woman ner-
mits?
Paw-No. my son. I should say
mot!
Maw-Willie. you get to bed this
minutel
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Betchai

"Bulgaria's done, we hear her
squeal,"
Remarked old Uncle Blivvtng;
Austria will take the count, ana
we'll
Have Turkey for Thanksgiving"
Billie Wood.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

INUrWOUu NNtpUDEICdHI
We r still proud to call Norwood
our home and we hope to do SO for
a large number OF to come. for
we are all here united to stand and
divided to TALL
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Policel

They placed the moose around the
neck of the horse thief, and had
'hoisted him up close to the limb OF
a tree.
.'My!" gasped the Horse Thief. who
was something of a wag. This sus-
pense IS awful"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Cannon Bali Urea

A native tree OF South America,
called the cannon ball tree, bears
round. woody fruit which closely re-
sembles basebalis.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
HUH

Do not give credit to that mutt,
His name Is Ignatz Kettle:
1 know he's In the fast set. but
He's mighty slow to settle.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Against the Belgian Sky we see
Old Glory proudly soar:
The dirty rag of Germany
Is gone forevermore.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Mean Brutci

"It is feminine instinct to look for
trouble" sneered Mr.. Gabb.
rs that so 2" demanded Mrs. GabD.
Eyes, that's So" replied Mr.. Gabb.
Even a hen does all the brooding for
the family"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

We hate to par anybody from the
club. But where tina HEX are we
gonna put George Devilbliss of Xenia.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
FDOeyt

A big-mouthed dub is Oswald Bone,
His life Is one long quackie;
One day he laid a corner stone
And o should hear him cackle
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Even though you are a stranger IN
a strange city, you can always meet
an A. Quaintance In Washington. ID.
C.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Fire Alarm Boxes

Copper Works
n Sheridan Straeta
26-Smfth Street and Central RI r.
and First Streets.
Ave. and Paterson 81
2s-High and Lewis Streeta
and High StreetsL
36-New Brunswick Ave. and New St.
and State Streets.
l2-AtiaRtic Terra Gotta Works
Dissatisfaction Ave. and Hartford a.
4b-Comme-ce and Front Streefa
and Washington Srs.
t7-High and Washington Streeta
st. N Buckingham Ava
6B-Parker 81 ana Pulaski Ave.
56-Hau Ave. and Charles 81
57-State and Wayne StreetA
United Lead WorkR
10 Maurer.
e2-washington and First strseta
6s-Nsw Brunswick Ave-. and Elm s.
Street and Watson Ava
61commerce and State Streefk
72-Front IND Smith Streets.
78-Water and Gordon Streets
v and Gordon Street.
and Hanson Avanuez
82-Smlth and Herbert Streets.
83-Amboy Ave- and Washington 81.
8f-Lehfgh Ave n Stanford Street.
65-Near City Hospital
86-C1eveIand and Brace Avenues
87-Amboy and akn Avenues.
e9EAmkey Ave and Insles Dfrso.
sl-Nerflis and Johnsfcns sfrsefs
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Maybe you knew, or didn't you,
that Miss Alta Legg lives In Norton.
Kan.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Walt Mason's Ripping Rhymes
HARD on

Three months ago the news was spread that old Dad Hinden-
bur was dead. He had a o with Kaiser Bill onceanfng proper
ways to kill the old. the helpless and infrm: the kaiser,s com
lei made him squfrm; the blood rushed to his old fat head. and
thndenburg fell over dead. 1t seems he wouldn't stay defunct. and
Azrael a badly bunked. A late dispatch ellis how more III
M n KAISER ripped and swore. and called each other u of
guns and cheap John Imitation huns Then Hindenburg with M
ger blind. threw down hiss andbag and resigned. He handed IN
MS large brass knucks which cost some fourteen Germap bucks
his lungshot and a pair of cats, his razor and his rough m ats .f
jump my Job!" he sternly cried; ito n country + have triad
but I've been made an also a by o. and you Buttnski clan
gave you quite a hint" he said. that time when 1 fell over cad
subtle hints re thrown away on such a bonehead royaf law And
now I'm through No more in mineI Here is my spiked cubi I
resigni" What will this warrior do next II by the kaiser he Is
yexed? Once he has died and once resigned; what other fur
Ehas he in mind? Though now and then his work Il coarse. he Is a
lman Of great resource.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

luke McInkc Says

When You Kill Time You Assassi-
nate Opportunity.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Oh. .L0Xi

Swift & Stiff run a moving picture
theatre at Middleport, Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Bits OfBy-Pldy
Sports
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1918, the Cinclnnau
Enquirer

1t is a funny circumstance.
How sportsmen get the name:
While one seeks a game OF chahco'
One seeks a chance OF game.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09

Dear Luke: You have had little to
say on the coming Prohibition fight.
Are you for Prohibition. or are you
"agtn" it'll. A.
We are against Prohibition because
we believe in liberty and ~self-govern-
ment- All the evils Of fntemperance
do not equal In vicious consequences
the loss of individual liberty. Control
of the conduct of others means the
exercise of tyranny hat will bring
about limitless abuses. And these
abuses will cause more misery than
drink.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1918-11-09
Epftaphs

Here rest the bones of Hiram Bland,
He was a green bid rummy:
He took a sedlitz powder. and
He mixed II IN his tummy.
Luke MsLuke.
From earthly cares he Is now freq.
We speak of foolish Mr.. Doyle:
He took a corn cure inwardly,
And that Il not according to Hoyle.
-ZanesyiIie.
Things 10 Worry About
The night police IN Seville. Spain.
carry spears.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
HEATON CERTAIN
OF REELECTION
Schuylkill County Congress
man Will Go Back to Wash
ington With Big Majority

Congressman Robert d. Heaton,
of Schuylkill county, will have no
opposition for denomination and not
much for reelection in the opinion
of prominent Schuyllkill county Re-
publicans. The congressman has
made an acceptable representative
of this county in the lower house
of congress and the unanimity of
support which is being accorded
him upon his entrance upon a cam
paign for a third term is significant.
Mr. Heaton has recovered from his
recent illness. Just who the Demo-
Gratis Will name is undertain. 1t is
recognized that this is not a Demo-
cratic year and candidates will be
scarce. John Moran, of Pottsville,
is being urged to make the effort.
John Reber, retired manufacturer
OF Pottsville and chairman of the
war savings committee of SchuyI-
Kill county, is being strongly urged
for the senatorial nomination to sue
ceed Auditor General Charles A.
snyder. Some people have been
talking of Representative ICY" Pal
mer. but it is believed that Palmer
will return to the House.
Representative John e. Sones will
he candidate again in the Potts.
VILE district, but Adam Schaeffer. of
Mahanoy City, one of the characters
or the House, now holds a county
orfice and will not run again. Rep
resentative r. J. Graeff, of Tamaqua,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

Ever have that lazy, listless, don't
care" feeling of constant lassitude,
when every move requires special et-
fort and even the brain seems tired,
drowsy and dull? It's your liver. Ever
feel bilious. nervous, irritRble, head
achy," and various other kinds OF
"achy?" It's your liver. Ever have
dull eyes. yellowish eyeballs, pimply
skin, catarrh, coated tongue, offensive
breath, insomnia. stomach trouble,
heart palpitation, loss of appetite,
etc, etc? It's your liver. Constipa-
tion has even been called "the begin
ming of most disease" because it in
PRODUCES into the blood, by absorption
from the intestineS, various disease
causing poisons which could not pos
sibly even remain in the body other
wise. Poisons and impurities, whether
you call them toxins, microbes, bac-
terra, bacilli, uric and stomach acids
or by any other names, are admittedly
the primary cause of many serious or
ganic and other diseases. Without
their presence in the system the dis
eases could not exist.
Obviously, the only way to get rid
of body poisons or blood impurities,
and do it quickly, Is to stimulate a
lazy, sluggish liver. flush clogged kid
neys, wash the fermenting mucous
from an acid stomach and clear the
sour bile and decaying matter from
fouled intestines. Cleanse. sweeten
and purify the entire alimentary tract.
Then notice how much better you feel
as the body's great filters and blood
refiners (the liver and kidneys) COM
mence working properly again.
This is what happens when people
visit the world famous hot springs
and drink the wonderful medicinal
water found there. 1t is why they re-
turn home feeling as though they had
received a brand new set of digestive,
blood purifying, filtering and elimina-
tive organs. This, of necessity, means
a well nourished body, good digestion,
steady nerves, high vitality, clear
eyes, healthy skin. good color. and en-
tire freedom from bodily aches or
pains In short. it means increased
efficiency both physical and mental.
To purify the blood and rid the sys-
tenn of pOiSOnS, never dose yourself
with still more poisons in the form of
powerful drugs like calomel (mer-
cury) or other drastic purgatives and
cathartics which cause bowel move
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
Makes Appeal For Glasses
Needed in u. S. Army

H. E. Burlington. of the Dauphin
County Patriotic Citizens Committee
and chairman of the Committee of
the Upper End. has made an appeal
to the citizens of this county to re-
spond to the Government appeal to
sell their binoculars and field glasses
to the Government for use in the
Navy. Mr.. Buffington's appeal fol-
lows:
The Navy needs telescopes. They
cannot buy enough. The German
made lenses are exhausted. our
manufacturers are hopelessly two
years behind. Lying unused in the
souvenir collections or American
homes are the needed submarine de-
tectors.
Last weeks history: For one and
one-half hours before bclng h.ruck,
1000 helpless boys of the Tuscdn.a
stood under orders, life-belted and
alert, leaning over the upper rail,
naked eyes searching the waves
Given 100 binoculars to be glued to
those eager young eyes and they
would have searchlighted any peri
scope the moment its nose peeped
above the water.
Mr.. Harrishur ger, may it not be
that last week in your souvenir
drawer lay the precious spygi.ss 10
have saved 101 American lives? Shall
1t happen again? Open up that
drawer and send in those saving
lenses. Don't delay. Send the boys
your glass for their transport Jour
ney.
Assistant Secretary RooseveIt's
department will buy or borrow any
kind of a telescope IL the citizen
owner will only send it in. Write
him now about yours OF tell him the
names of persons who you know
have glasses. Dauph;n county has
those 100 fieldglasses. Our soldier
boys need them on their sea journey.
THE Government promises to re-
turn them after the war. Hurryw
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

has gone into the Army. James
Donnelly. of Minersvllle. the Demo-
cratic member, will run again.
There is considerable interest in
what Resident Clerk w. S. Leib is
going to do this year, while the de-
cision of Secretary of Internal Af-
fairs Paul w. Houck on the renomi-
nation question will also have a big
effect. Mr.. Leib is playing a lone
hand these days.
The Democrats are in bad shape
in the county, Federal appointments
have brought the usual train of dis
appointments and there will be a
ruction between the wet and dry
wings which BODIES ill., The county
situation is said to be causing some
anxiety to the Democratic bosses.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
Chance Now For CoIored
Men to Volunteer in Army

Colored registrants have been Of
fered an opportunity to be inducted
into Federal service and serve as
volunteers, according to a telegram
received at Local Draft Board No. 1,
in the Courthouse. The colored men
are wanted in the Ninety-second
Division of the National Army. The
colored men will have the handling
of the big machine and field guns,
and will be the workmen on the re
pair trucks which will keep these
guns in order. They will receive
special training for the work, it was
said.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

Capitol to-day. Mr.. Horne is said to
have aspirations to run again.
II. Lindley Hosford, who was
Commissioner Dixon's capable Secre-
tary for several years, was here to-
day on his way to one of the western
states. He has lately been in New
York.
Captains of the four troops of the
state pople were here to-day in con-
ference with Superintendent Lumb.
George B. Atticks was to-day ap-
pointed justice of the peace for
Lower Allen township, Cumberland
county; George Santo. Jr., for Red
stone township, Fayette county; j.
c. Brandon, for Connoquenessing; j.
S. Wick, for Brady township, and
Charles T. Walters, for Clinton town
ship, Butler county.
The Fox Chase Improvement As
sociation, of Philadelphia, to-day
filed a complaint with the Public
Service Commission against the
car service of the Philadelphia
Rapid Transit Company, from Fifth
and Market streets, to Fox Chase in
the last four months, charging cars
were not provided in sufficient num-
ber to haul people and that the same
condition prevailed on another line
which people sought to use. The
effects of the service, it is declared,
are to depress realty values, cause
businessmen to lose time and to in
terfere with schools. The Chamber
of Commerce of Beaver Falls, pro-
tested against the increase of fare
and Encouragement of zones by the
Beaver Valley Traction Company.
There is no act of assembly justi-
flying imposition of any tax upon any
judgments, oPders or DEGREES of
quarter sessions courts, either in
criminal prosecutions or in deser-
ton, nonsupport and juvenile cases,
according to an opinion given to-day
by Deputy Attorney General largest
to c. w. Myers, chief of the county
bureau of the Auditor Generals De-
partment.
In another opinion it is held that
a prisoner sentenced for a second
offense before expiration of parole
on a previous sentence and subse-
quently pardoned for the first Of
fense. is not entitled to credit on the
second sentence from the time he
was returned to the penitentiary un-
til he was pardoned. This opinion
was given to Warden -McKenty of
the eastern penitentiary in the case
of Archie Clay, Adams county.
Adjutant General Beary to-day
made the following appointments in
the Reserve Militia: ]. Goblin Gran
age, Philadelphia, captain Company
A, First Infantry; Charles S. Ross,
Scranton, captain Company c, Sec
ond Infantry; George B. Drake,
Waynesburg, first lieutenant Com
pany f, Third Infantry. Captain
Thomas B. Thomas, Philadelphia,
was transferred from command of
Company A, First Infantry, to regi-
mental quartermaster, and Lieuten-
ant c. S. Townsend, Philadelphia, as
signed to organize Company F, First
Infantry.
State draft headquarters to-day
received word that the following
Washington county men for the Ma
tional Amy would leave February
26: Washington, No. 2, 33 men; No.
3, 16 men; No. 4, so; No. 5, IS men.
Pittsburgh, No. 21, Greene county,
Washington, No. 1 and Beaver, No.
/, have completed their shipments.
Dates of movements of other boards
are uncertain.
Secretary Ball went to Pittsburgh
to-day to spend the weekend.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

mentS simply by irritation and even
collect in tissues or attack the bones.
such purely temporary eXpedients
otten become habit-forming and cause
still worse suffering later on. They
remind one of the scriptural charac-
ter, who, when possessed by devil
set loose seven others to catch the
first, only to find himself possessed in
one.
Instead of taking strong toxic drugs
with their depressing reactions and
bad after r-constipating effects, try
drinking before breakfast and once
or twice during the day, for a week
or so, a tumblerful of strongly aka
line hot water containing such harm
less but active and natural liver
stimulating, kidney flushing, blood
purifying and system cleansing in
gradients as magnesium, lithium, So
tive principles or medicinal constitu-
ents found in such world-famous min
eral waters as Carlsbad, Vichy, Con-
treXeVilie, Chatel Guyon, Vittel, Ems.
Weisbaden, Marienbad, and various
others which wealthy sufferers once
felt well justified in travelling thou
sands of miles to visit. Most of these
resorts are no longer accessible, due
to the war, but no one need worry
about that now, because, since they
have been officially analyzed, similar
medicinal water can easily be made
by anyone at home.
The best way, and in fact the only
satisfactory way / know of, to pre-
pare the water at home is to obtain
the necessary mineral ingredients al
ready compounded in just the proper
proportions and ready for immediate
use. The name of the standard COM
pound which physicians prescribe for
this purpose is refined alkia saltrates
(powder form) and can be had at lit
tie cost from any druggist. Locally.
Keller's Drug Store, G. A. Gorgas, II.
c. Kennedy and Clark's Medicine Store
would always have 1t in stock. The
average dose is a level teaspoonful
dissolved in a tumbler of hot water
and it forms a very palatable drink
with no disagreeable. bitter, salty,
sour or otherwise Objectionable taste.
Unlike pills or many nauseous medi-
cines, salts, syrups, etc, it is very
suitable for children, but of course
should be given them in especially
weak DISQUALIFICATION
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

court will be held late in this month
and Perry early in March.
The Governor will take up the
question of whether to further con-
slider an extra session of the Legis-
lature to reapportion the state when
he returns. He has been receiving
numerous letters on the subject and
has talked it over with a number of
friends.
w. j. Marks, of this city. visited
the Capitol yesterday. 1t is reported
that he is to be given a place in one
of the departments. John Carpenter,
who is reported as about to leave the
State Treasury, is booked for a place
in the Executive Department, prob
ably that of Herbert d. Harry,
commission clerk who resigned this
week, according to gossip on the
Hill.
]. Howard McCool, arrested at
Pottsville, on a charge of being
mixed in the Eddystone explosion by
members of the state police, is being
held until the state police and fire
marshals departments determine
upon his case.
Representative Horne, Cambria,
and Brumbaugh, Blair, were at the
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
How To Wake Up
A Lazy, Sluggish Liver
So 1t Stays Awake

Doctor tells why sufferer should avoid the of liver
irritating and forming catharc drugs which
duce temporary convusve bowel action with invariably bad
after-effects.
%
ggist
ing to ex
pensye springs is
eme known to the
mine nfsin
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
Chases Coyote Thief
Half Mile in "Nightie''

Smith Center, Kans.-A coyote
carrying a pair of fat hens in its
mouth was chased for a distance
of half a mile in zero weather by
Ernest Barnes, clad only in his
nightgown and overshoes.
Charles Hartsock, a neighbor,
aroused by the noise of the chase,
rushed out and bowled the coyote
over with a stick.
Barnes went home in triumph,
carrying the two hens and the dead
coyote.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
The Japanese Way To Remove Corns
Doesn't Hurt Bit-Easy and Simple
The Magic Touch of IceMint Does It. Just Touch Stops
Soreness, Then the Corn Caous Shrivels and Lifts
Off. Try It. Your Feet Will Feel Cool and Fine.

Just a touch of Ice-mint and
"Oh" what relief. Corns and cal
louses vanish, soreness disappears
and you can dance all night or walk
all day and your corns won't hurt
bit. No matter what you have tried
or how many times you have been
you at last. From the very second
that Ice-mint touches that sore, ten
der corn your poor tired. aching feet
will feel so cool, easy and comfort
able that you will just sigh with re-
lief. Think of it; just little touch
of that delightful. cooling Ice-mint
and real foot joy is yours. No mat
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
GREAT FOR ECZEMA
AND OLD SORES
Guarantee My Ointment, Says Peter
son. Stops Itching Instantly.

IF you are responsible for tho
health of your family" says Peterson
Il want you to get a large zoe hoy
Oh Petersons Ointment To-Day.
remember l stand back of everv
box. Every druggist guarantees to re-.
fund the purchase price il Peterson's 3
ointment doesn't do all l claim.
Il guarantee it for eczema. old
sorer, running sores, salt rheum. Ulcers
sore nipples, broken breasts, Itching
skin. pimples, blackheads, skin diseas.
es, blind, bleeding and itching piles
as we'll as for burns, scalds, cuts
bruises and sunburn."
Il had 80 running sores on my leg
for eleven years, was in three differ
ent hospitals. Amputation was ad-
vised. Skin grating was tried. 1 was
cured by using Peterson's Ointment" j."
Mrs. F; E; Root. 2s7 Michigan St,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

ter now old or tough your pet corn
is ne will shrivel right up and you
ct-n pick him out after a touch of
lec-mint. No pain, not a bit of sore
ness, either when applying IL or
afterwards and it doesn't even ir-
ritate the skin.
Ice-mint is the real Japanese
Prevents foot odors and keeps them
cool, sweet and comfortable. 1t is
now selling like wildire here.
Just ask in any drugstore for a
little Ice-mint and give your poor
suffering, tired feet the treat of
kheir lives. There is nothing better,
nor nothing Just as good"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
NO JUDGE UNTIL
LATER in MONTH
Perry-Juniata Vacancy Will
Not Be Filled Until Cover
nor Returns to City

Governor Brumbaugh will not
make any appointment of judge
for the Perry-Juniata district until
he returns from Florida and he will
lie home before March 1, according
to the general impression at the
Capitol to-day. Advocates of EX-
Judge James w. Shull and George
r. Barnett, of Perry, are getting
busy, and so are friends of District
Attorney John J. Patterson, Jr., of
Juniata county. The Juniata license
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
POSTMASTER NAMED

In the list of changes of fourth
class postmasters in the United
States, there is only one in Pennsyl-
vania, William ]. Young having been
appointed to succeed Dorsey L. Bar
nett, at Robertsdale, Huntingdon
county.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
TO CONFER ON COAL

Fuel Administrator Hickok will go
TO fhlladelphia Tomorrow, where he
will confer with State Administra~ -
tor Potter, along with the adminis-
traitors in all the other counties. ON
the best methods of handling coal
this spring and summer.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15

ture work of the organization will be
considered.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
Father and Son" Dinner
to Be Large Event

With $50 reservations already in
the office of Arch II. Dinsmore, boys
work secretary of the Central Y. NJ.
c. A, and with the applications pour
ing into the hands of Daniel S. Culp,
office secretary. 1t is safe to predict
that the Father and Son" dinner to
$40 tonight, will be one of the
largest affairs of the sort ever held
in the city. The dinner will be held
in the gymnasium of the Y NJ. C. A.
Walter M. Wood, secretary of the
Philadelphia Y. NJ. c. A., will address
the boys. Special music will be fur
nished for the occasion.
IMPORTANT RESERVES MEETING
Major A. NJ. Porter, commandant of
the iIat rishurS T. 'eGerves, has roll-d
all active members of the four COM
panies for a meeting at the City
Grays' Armory tonight, at 1880
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1918-02-15
Colds Cause Hendnche and Grin

LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE Tab
let's remove the cause. There Ia only
one "Bromo Quinine." E. w. GROVES
signature on box. 30c.'-Advertise
ment.