The Washington herald., 1918-01-29

with load of coal, he met Ed jack
SON coming in the opposite direction
on a garbage wagon,
'Lemme a dollar, JoeT' Ed asked
as their teams got abreast.
Lend 20 h-% answered Joe.
"Yo' amt paid me de- last dollar
yo' borrowed fun me-"
''Yo' am a liah." said Ed angrily.
'"Ah doan owe yuh nothin..''
"Ah'm q what?s asked Joe, as he
hurled big lump Of coal at Eds
head.
Ed made. no answer. The. lump
of coal. caught him square and he
Topped of his seat.
Joe stepped down. picked up the
fallen man and banged him in the
kisser.
Then they clinched. They fought
all over the street.
A cop noticed the two teams
standing idle in the middle of the
street and investigated.
Both scrappers were nabbed. And
both left IS bill in court.
George Does II.
Last Saturday George McCann
was busy helping put a cargo aboard
a river steamer.
He worked hard all morning. But
in late afternoon he got some bad
ideas in his head.
Instead Of continuing to load the
boat, ne took load on himself.
In a few minutes he had enough
of a cargo OF Baltimore cheer to
make him topheavy.
Soon he was going through the
motions OF loading a ship. He was
walking back and forth across the
gangplank empty handed.
The cops picked him up to keep
him from falling overheard and
making the fish drunk.
George kissed the boss goodby and
told him to look out for submarines
when he started down river.
The court told George unless he
thirty days.
All Very Neat. But
Somebody is always inventing a
way to get into jail.
This time it was Charlie Thomas.
Charlie had been up against it for
some time He was dead broke.
From somewhere or other he got
billiard ball.
He took out his handkerchief and
tied the ball in the end of it.
With very little effort he could
now knock out his victim and take
his or her money.
But a Georgetown sleuth, Sergt.
Burke. took a squint at Charlie be-
fore he got started.
Charlie was on his way to slug a
lady. He intended to rap her gently
on the bean and grab her pocket
book.
Sergt. Burke saved some fair dame
from having her brains jumbled. He
should have a, Carnegie medal.
Charlie won't see any more bill
lard balls for 50 days. and when
he gets through that sentence the
srand jury will be awaiting him.
Quite So, Quite So.
1t is all right to want to get into
the limelight in the National Capital.
But when anyone tries it when T.
r. is here he is just wasting his
time.
Bob Pearson. plus a bay rum souse,
went to the theater one night last
week
As the camera man flashed the pic
ture Of Theodore Roosevelt on the
screen, and the audience clapped. Bob
reared up on his hind legs and made
a funny noise.
Everybody turned TO look. Bob told
them that he was just as important
as anyone in the world.
II the spotlight belonged anywhere
1t belonged on him. he said.
Then he made some more funny
Foises. Someone hollered get the
hook"
The theater manager got a COD in
stead. Bob was put in a cage.
His little stunt cost him $50-no
more. no less.
Hard Times.
Since the telephone company nut
its foot down on telling folks what
time of day it is, EstelIe Washington
has been up against it.
1t is too much trouble for Estelle 10
stretch here neck and look at the
clock.
So she swiped a watch. She found
it lying on the bureau in the house
where she worked.
When the cops caught her she said
her uncle gave 1t to her
The cops found out that she had no
uncle.
But she did have an awful nerve to
monkey with other people time.
IL was the first time, she said, that
she ever took any time.
The court said that once was enough.
And now Estelle will be doing time
for fifty days.