Evening star., 1918-07-24

die. when the son asked:
Father. how will know when I'm
'swhen those two men sitting on
you." the father replied. then. my son,
you will know that you are drunk.
"But, father" the son replied
there ID but ono man ON that seat!
Speaking Of intemperance suggests
e word or two about The kaisers KAY rs mat ahst
for years the strongest drink he had
INDUCED in was an apple champagne,
which contained no alcohol and Whlcn
was specia1ly prepared for him. Inc
reason for his abstinence was given 20
me by one Of my patients who was IN
q position to know whereof he spoke.
He said that when the kaiser was
younger man he had been accustomed
to indulge in strong liquors, ana some
times drank to excess. On one occa-
sion. while on his yacht In Norwegian
waters. he had imbibed somewhat too
freely, and while under the influence
ordered the captain to steer q certain
course which would have placed the
vessel in serious danger. To have
disobeyed would have meant mourning
mand was law. Rather than risk the
destruction of the vessel and Its oo-
cupants, however, the captain disre-
garded the kaiser's instructions and
then went ashore, procured q bicycte
and rode down a hill which carried
him over the edge of a precfpice to
his death. The shock of this tragedy,
the story goes, turned the kaiser
against liquor Of all kinds, and he has
never since indulged.
Kaiser Admires Roosevelt.
In referring to Roosevelt's patriotic
offer to lead an army in France. the
kaiser declared that he admired him for
IT hear" he said. ''that he is nov on
his way to Italy. It is too bad We did
, not postpone our offensive there. Per-
haps we might have captured him.
Wouldn't Teddy look funny in a gas
mask? 2"
Shortly after the U-boat Deutschland
| made its successful trip to America the
kaiser called on me and he was In
very jocular frame Of mind.
| happened to mention to him that
planned to go to America the following
summer in connection with the porcea
| lain tooth had patented.
''Well, 1t won't be necessary now, Da-
Wis" he commented. I'VE can send the
Deutschland over and bring back a boat
load Of teeth"
Eclared on another occasion. $50 that
can bite. There are lots Of people
would like to bite." and he snapped his
jaws together in a way that would have
BODIED Ill for the victims he had. in mind,
although his remark was evidently more
facetious than vicious.
To the late Putnam Griswold. the
opera singer. whom he had just seen in
the part Of the king in Aida" he
said: you play the part Of king 90
well, Griswold. am sure you would be
my most dangerous competitor"'-a
compliment whose full significance can
be appreciated only by those who know
how keenly the kaiser enjoyed playing
the king himself and how necessarily
he played it.
Belittled American Effort.
The courtesy and affability which the
kaiser almost invariably displayed in hif
relations with me did not prevent him
on one occasion from showing his indig-
nation when l touched him upon what
was evidently a very sore point-the
part that America was going to play ir
the war. although he always claimed tc
be unperturbed about the American sit
| uation,
He had pointed out that America a,
that time had only. 10000 men In
France and he believed that the U.
boats would effectively prevent any
| great addition to our forces abroad
il, indeed, they ever left our shores
"As matter. of fact, however" he
4 added, your countrymen would b.
very willing, no doubt, to fight fol