davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
Furies in a Funk Hole"

We have been trained to think of\von Hin
denburg as fire-breathing bosom of destruc-
.tion, an Ajax, Achilles and Thor combined,
whose most gentle impulse BODIED i'll for his
enemy and whose softest moment found him
devoted to the annihilation OF the foes of
Deutschland. From the Masurian swamps to
the Marine he swept in splendid progress, his
front like that Of Mars or Jove, ito threaten or
command" inspiring awe in all beholders and
trepidation in the lesser brood of even the ST.
permen. And now comes an inconoclastic
Yankee newspaper fellow, with curious tale
OF how this paragon of Prussian pussance, this
man OF war and dreadful deeds, had funk
hole" many feet below the cellar Of the palace
he occupied as headquarters, far behind the
firing line, to which haven Of safety he retired
many times day in dread of something that
never happened. thus" said Hamlet, sum-
ming up his argument for and against suicide,
"doth conscience make towards of US all" If
we need evidence that Won Hindenburg has a
conscience, bis funk hole" is respectfully
offered as such. Nota bene: The kaiser also
had one, not very fat from that OF his general
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
The Lion and the Little Fellows.

Now that the British lion has ceased to lash
his tail, and has settled down into that posture
Of restful alertness made familiar by Landseer
and others, the little fellows of the Jungle are
getting busy. Some are even playing around
the very forepaws of the king of beasts, conf
dent Of his forbearance, and even discuss the
clipping ofhis claws. ..@
For example, Envoy Romanones of Spain
is reported to have tentatively preached to Mr..
Wilson that Great Britain be requested to re-
turn Gibraltar to Spain. For this Spain will
give over Ceuta, on the African shores, and will
Spanish Morocco. Only little imagination is
required to project this picture. Spain would
get rid of Ceua, which it is required to police
and for which alone it maintains an army, and
would gain the command of the Strait of Gibral-
tar, one of the worlds most important water
ways England resigning one Of the strongest
and most essential outposts Of the empire.
1t is rather difficult to imagine Great Britains
acceptance of Spain as doorkeeper and possible
toil-taker between the home land and India,
Australia and other eastern dominions, colonies
and dependencies. With Malta at one end of
the Mediterranean and Gibraltar at the other,
England has kept that inland sea open to COM
merce for longer than century, has maintained
hampered no nation in free access to these
waters. The world can we'll afford to reward
such stewardship by continuing it.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS.

Worry? What's the use Of thatf
Turn your back again 1t;
Thumb your nose an tip your hat
An shake 1t In a minnit!
Explain that you don't want no friends
That sours on y ner pertends
That worry hAstens better ends,
Because there's nothin' in 1t!
Frettin'? That's another thing
That's worse than yeller janders;
Better kick your heels an sing
TIL frettin' jist meanders;
No use Of bein' imperlite,
But 1t dogs y day an night
Then cuss It out an cuss 1t right
Like what they did at Flanders.
Trouble? That's the worst Of all
Your pesky friends. blame done it
Somethin' that a doctor d call
A Chronic friend" doggone It!
An, lookin' at 1t by an through
The only only thing for you t do
Is git the latch twixt 1t an you
An slam the door upon 1t.
Worry, frettin', trouble, too.
Are progeny Of Satan
They make the poorest friends for you,
amt afraid of Stain;
Jist bolt the door II they are near,
Then get jug o. cider here.
Then settle In your rockin' cheer
An keep EN- all a-waitin'
John D. Wells, in Buffalo News
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
State Press Comment

|, Hastings Tribune: Omaha boasts
OF being city Of flourishing clubs
Yes. that's it. ''clubs. not dubs--
you had 1t right the first time.
Fairbury News: Less service and
higher prices have followed govern
ment control of everything from the
railroads to the telephone lines. Not
very alluring prospect for Old Nah
Consumer.
Norfolk Press: In the real estate
transfers l notice that the Norfolk
Gegeinseitigen Unserstutzung We
rein has bought some property. Now
what in Helen Blazes Is a Gegein-
'setitigen Unserstutzungs and what
part Of Germany are we living in,
anyway?
n Kearney Hub: The first Ameri-
can soldier to cross the German
Rhine was a Nebraskan Col William
ID. Hayward, In command Of a COL
ored regiment. Colonel Hayward
has won renown in both civil and
military life in New York and in
France since leaving his native
state. and we are all very proud of
him.
Beatrice Express: The court rec
ords In Nebraska since the state
went dry indicate that the penalty
for bootlegging is far too light. If
the profit is so great that men car
afford to take a chance of an oc-
casional 500 fine, it should be
changed to term In the peniten-
tiary for the first conviction. This
might help some and should be tried
out.
Nebraska City Press: When Mr..
Bryan said. back in 1912, that there
would be no democratic party IL Mr.
Wilson became president he said
mouthful, as Shakespeare was wont
to remark to Queen Elizabeth. For
that matter. however, there would
he no democratic party with Mr..
Bryan in the chair. The democratic
party is like the measles, the flu
or any other well-known, in a man.
ner of speaking. disease. 1t must
run its course. The course of Mr.
Wilson's party. by courtesy called
democratic" is nearly run.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
This Day in History.

178o-Thomas Ewing, first secre-
tary of the interior. born near West
Liberty, Va. Died at Lancaster, O.,
October 90. 1871. ....
185l-Beginning of the great slave
instruction in Jamaica, in the
course of which several thousand
lives. were lost and $l5,000,0C0 in
property destroyed. I
1874.-Gerrit Smith, among the
most notable of American philan-
thropists. died in New York City.
Born at Utica, N. Y, March E, 1857.
ll85-Francois Paul Jules Grevy,
reelected president of the French
republic.
1854 large number of hostile
Moorish .tribesmen surrendered 10
the Spanish authorities.
1ol4-Ailies took St. Georges, to
the west of Newport.
1ol5EBritish cabinet reported to
have adopted modified form Of COR
scription not to include Ireland.
l9i6-Paris reported the repulse
of a German attack northwest of
Verdun.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
Timely Jottings and Reminders.

Birthday greetings to woodrow
Wilson, 81 years old today.
Whether the present government
in Great Britain is to continue in
power will be determined definitely
today, when the official count Of the
votes in the recent election takes
place.
Eminent scientists Of the United
States and Canada will participate in
the annual meeting of the American
Psychologists association, which
opens its sessions in Baltimore to-
day in conjunction with the meeting
of the American association for the
Advancement of Science.
From the viewpoint Of society ole
of the most elaborate and brilliant
functions of its kind ever seen in
New York City will be the grand
ball to be given at the Ritz-Carlton
tonight as a climax to the metro
politan celebration Of the victory of
the allies.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
&Aee5Hss>S
.&Asr9G5X

1
Omaha, Dec. "a. An open letter to
Charles Wooster.
In all thy humors. whether grave or
mellow,
Thourt such touchy, testy, pleasant fel-
low,
Hast so much wit, and mirth, and spleen
about thee,
| There's no living with thee, nor without
thee"
/ have always read your letters
with great pleasure. They are we'll
written, incisive and more or less
7, logical. Your latest contribution TO
the Letter Box is the very antithesis
of your usual mode of reasoning.
This is because you did not under
stand your subject Self Determ-
ination for Ireland"
ireland whole upheld
the cause Of the entente allies" until
tricky Lloyd George suspended the
bogus home rule bill that had been
placed upon the statute. There are
100000 people In Ireland: IT'S, 200
of these volunteered before the home
rule measure had been hung up.
This percentage is greater in proper
ton to population than the entire
American army, in domestic encamp-
ments and overseas. The Irish did
not sulk nor conspire with the en-
emies of the entente. Don't believe
the subsidized press of this country
or Britain. But the Irish could not
ignore their grievances. These run
back $50 years. Recollect that Ire
land during these years has never,
by act or thought, accepted the gov
eminent of the conqueror. Never!
It's too bad that Ireland did not
remain passive and obedient to Eng
land when home rule was denied her.
Possibly Britain might concede some
measure of freedom to the sister
isIe-prowded the latter would "be
real good" Ireland has never
begged from her oppressor. She has
simply demanded her rights. True,
within the last SO years. the British
parliament, to avoid the condemna-
ton of the civilized world or to pre-
vent internal trouble, has modified
her penal code. s
AS for self determination" being
sound doctrike in the abstract but
not susceptible of universal applica-
ton in the concrete, you remind me
very much of the accommodating
Bible reader who believes Just that
portion of the scriptures only which
correspond to his way Of thinking.
1t makes all the difference in the
world as to whose OK Is gored.
Surely, Charles, you would not
make the rebellion of the southern
states parallel case with that of
Ireland. Thc southern states were
a part Of one compact whole. Its
people tried to destroy the union, but
such men as yourself said mo. We
shall maintain the union Of these
states with our. lives" And, thank
God. you succeeded. The govern
ment of the United States Is today
the exempIar Of the world. But Ire
land is an entity, separated from
Britain by the ocean. Her people
are a distinct race with manners and
customs radically different from
those of the larger island; and, I'M
like the people Of the southern states
in their relations to the union, have
never consented to be a part of the
British empire.
Now. Charles, are you really in
earnest when you say that Great
Britain has established its right to
be acclaimed as the greatest and
most powerfully organized civil force
on earth?
After all, the meaning Of the propo-
sition depends upon the quality de-
scribed by the superlatiye. Greatest
in what? ,o,,n p,,su \
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
TODAY
Right in the Spotlight.

No one appears to doubt that to-
days official count of the British
general election results will show q
victory for Lloyd George. Had the
results been otherwise it would
have meant the return to power Of
the Ri. Hon. H. H. Asquith, the for
mer premier and present leader Of
the opposition. Like so many other.
Mr.. Asquith was lawyer before he
entered politics, and he relinquished
a fine practice in order to accept
Mr.. Gladstone's invitation to be
home secretary. Mr.. Gladstone had
a wonderful discefnment, and he
predicted that the young lawyer
had a brilliant career ahead of him.
Previous to the war, the two
achievements OF Mr.. Asquith which
will be liable to stand out most dis
tinctly in history were the introduc-
ton Of old age pensions and abol-
ishing of the veto power Of the
House OF Lords. -
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

made happy with Xmas presents
from a tree provided by the ladies
of St. Andrews Mission at Wal
nut Hill.
Jacob Brandeis of Milwaukee is
visiting his brother, J. L. Brandeis.
The Pennsylvania Association Of
Nebraska elected Gen. c. F. Man
derson governor of the society by
reclamation.
A cable car collided with a horse
car at Fifteenth and Dodge, putting
the latter hors du combat.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eli P. Watson Of
Pennsylvania are spending the ho1i-
days with their daughter, Mrs. J..
S. Cameron,
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
The Day We Celebrate.

Barton Willard of Merriam &
Willard company. born 1885.
Woodrow Wilson. president OF
the United States, born at Staun-
ton, Va, 62 years ago.
Sir Archibald Geikie, one of the
most distinguished Of natural scient.
ists, born in Edinburgh, 50 years
Ago.
Frank &. Willis, former governor
Of Ohio, born at Lewis Center. O.,
AZ years ago.
Frank William Taussig, for many
years professor of political economy
at Harvard, born at St. Louis, So
years ago.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

which has such claims upon Amer
lea as ireland, and to the everlast-
ing honor Of the American people.
No American citizen of any promi-
nence has taken the position that
the Irish people should not have the
right accorded to other peoples to
determine for themselves the char
acter of the government they desire.
JERRY HOWARD.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

The correspondent who objects to the ad-
vertising Of the presidents son-in-law may con-
sole himself. The spotlight will be turned else
where very shortly, for the name OF McAdoo
will not adorn the annual passes nor dining car
menu cards next year.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
Storyette of the Day.

"War terms now penetrate all
classes of society,"" said Judge Al
Ian E. McCumber, of Charleston.
"A herculean woman had her hus-
band, a small, frail man, hailed be-
fore me for desertion.
"Well, sir, what have you got to
say for YOURSELF" l asked the man.
"'Me deserter, judge?". he whin-
ed pitifully. Look at these here
Jumps on my head. Look at this
black eye. l amt no deserter, judge.
I'm a refugee. Detroit Free
Press, -
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
Landings for Airplares.

New York World: The wings Of
the great airplane that carried so per.
sons at Rockaway stretch. 126 feet
from tip to tip. People ,whp speak
airily Of building 5lA9in& stage on
the roof for q private plAhe have
smaller ones In mind: The SfAnt would
require much more than the space
Of q city block to make aslAnding.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
Portugal's New Precedent.

Brooklyn Eagle: Having ruled
Africans in DelAsoa bay and mas
tered aseailors' school at oporto, Ada
miral Canto y Castro, new president
Of Portugal. ought to be able to keep
order anywhere with 4 hard. hand.
Politically ne 10 the sort Of c6mpro-
mise that was to have been expected.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Nebraska's several charitable institutions are
carried on the books as an asset Of 100000 in
the way of real estate investment. As actual
going institutions for relieving human misfor-
tune and misery they are priceless.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Now it seems that Mayor Jin's' federal job
Is like the old rlammy's comment on the hip
popotamus, There amt no SIGH animal" Some
body will have to shake the bag again.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Civilization is making progress down in odd
Missoo," fact evinced by a republican conf
IDENTIFY proposing to contest the claimed election
of democrat to congfsss. If such an action
can be successfully maintained it will be one Of
the real signs Of new era. I'll.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

A former Omaha man has turned up in
charge of the telephone station at Jerusalem,
for the British army. You will find them
WHEREVER you 60.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

!. Secretary Redfeld is moving to conserve the
salmon supply on the Alaskan coast, another
instance of the wasteful methods of man ex-
hausting even natures most lavish supply.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Canadians agree they are not worried over
the fate Of the cables seized by Burleson, as they
know Uncle Sam is good for any loss they may
sustain.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Omaha has mighty interesting building
campaign mapped out for the coming year,
much OF the work having been carried over
from the prewar days. The game is good
one to push.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

That Chadron scandal case has had ANOTHER
terrific recoil, this time catching Attorney Allen
G. Fisher. The Hood money has made lot
Of trouble for some folks.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

When it comes to throwing bluffs in the gas
franchise game the city wants it distinctly un-
derstood it can do as we'll as the other fellow.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Another 100000 gallon pump is being in
stalled to serve the Omaha municipal water
pant,if you want proof of the growth of the
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Men in the mail service will welcome the
disappearance of the "fu" and the cessation in
the holiday rush. They have had their trials
this year.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
One Year Ago Today in the War.

German air raiders bombed Pa
Qua, killing IS persons.
!. Announced that the new French
War loan Of $4,000, 100000 had been
oversubscribed.
United States government took
over the control of the railroads.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Kaiser Bill like the pitcher that went SO
long to the well, may be killed yet once too
often. ~
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Cuban statesmen are seeking paths to har-
mony. This ought not to be so very difficult
when Uncle Sam is right at hand to show them
the way.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

More than half million soldiers have been
released from the army, and every one has his
old job back or a better one.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

A German paper advises the nation to hide
its wealth. No need to worry; the Allies do
not come to loot, and they will make the fine
about what the offense indicates.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Organization for the world trade enterprise
by America is reported to be under way in the
Department OF Commerce. Let us hope it fares
a whole lot better than the airplane or Hog
Island plans of last year.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Green beans are reported cheaper in Omaha
hut when one reads the price he gets an impress
sion Of the height from which, the come-down
started L.. .-
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

II the German politicians keep on clamoring
for American troops in Berlin their wish may
be granted. Our boys are great on the restora-
ton and preservation of order.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

No need to inquire as to whether President
Wilson is enjoying the holiday season.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Not many tears being shed over the 1918
sand glass running out.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
In Omaha 80 Years Ago Today.

III V1HdIld oV IedIS AKO IUudy.
Frank Daniels played Little
Puck TO a delighted audience at
the Boyd, supported by Bessie San
son, 1gnatz Martinetti and a set OF
star entertainers.
Forty-eight little children were
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

Holidays must seem like heaven to tom"
Marshall
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

All things considered, the crhsh at 'the po-
litical pie countef is the pink Of good humor
and self-controL
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28
SMILES OF WANING YEAR.

This confinement" said the prison
yisitor. must distress you greatly?"
"Yes," replied the cheerful convict u
find the prison bars grating"
"Ah Life to you Is a failure"
Yes; it's nothing but cell"--Detroit
Free Press.
On one transport going over. one Negro
trooper said TO another, q very seasiclS
boy, Look out dere andNsee dat sail boat"
Don't you call me for no sail boat,
Niger" came from the sick fellow lyins
with his head on his arms. don't yor
call me at all unless YOU see tree"
Why don't you like to play cards with
the colonel?"
Because he forces the other players
always to make something trumps. He
seems to have that overceas idea that they
shall not ass,"-Chicago Post.
WAS drinking too much at the clut
lest night"
Not at all"
But didn't I get a trifle to the bad"
"A trifle mixed, we might say You
were telling about fish YOU landed which
had large antlers"-Judge.
Omaha daily bee., 1918-12-28

London, too, knows a good thing.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1918-05-10

Ginghams arrived early in the yum
guard of spring styles and at present
are fourishing to the point of taxing
manufacturers to supply the demand
for them. The colorings are fine and
it is a great satisfaction to know that
the dyes are made in America.
Plain yellow ginghams In many tones
of the color are used for little and big
wearers of this reliable and favored
fabric 1t is nearly always made up
with white and a pretty example of
this combination for a little girl of
| five or more years is shown in the pic
ture. 1t is a plain frock for everyday
wear with baby" waist having the
skirt gathered to it. A substantial
quality of dotted swiss is used for the
bands; these are set in the waist at
each side and extended into tabs fin
ished with the narrowest of edgings.
The small turn-back cuffs and the col
lar are made of swiss, also.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1918-05-10
A Bingham Summer.

Ginghams, either plain or in small
plaids and checks, and percales, plain
and in narrow stripes, make up the
prettiest of practical everyday dresses
for the very little girl. In any case these
materials are nearly always combl-
nation of one color with white and are
made up with white cotton goods of
some other weave, as dotted swiss or
pique or kindergarten cloth, or any eff
fective cotton goods that will wear
well.
Plaids and checks, expanded In size
and in more intricate color combina-
tons, are used for girls progressing to-
ward the ''happer" age having arrived
there the young miss glories In all sorts
of gay ginghams. Grown-ups go In for
big plaids, stripes, checks and plain
ginghams In quieter color combina-
lions and those with narrow black
cross-bars woven in the plaids and
stripes have made a great success.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1918-05-10
SOME SOIL TOBACCO SICK"
Disease Resisting Varieties Being De-
veIoped by Specialists OF Depart
ment of Agriculture.

(Prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agricultural
Because some soils in the Connecti-
cut valley have become tobacco SICK,
which has resulted In heavy losses to
tobacco growers, particularly where ar
tificial shades are used for growing
wrapper leaf, specialists of the United
States department of agriculture have
been at work developing disease-resist-
ant varieties.
It has also been shown that the use
of fertilizer or acid reaction will ma
terially reduce the injury caused by
the disease. Proper rotation Wher-
ever practicable also appears to be
an effective remedy. In Maryland,
where a similar or identical disease is
giving much trouble, the native vari-
cites which are susceptible have been
crossed with foreign resistant strains,
with view to obtaining resistant
types adapted to local requirements.
In Wisconsin and in the Burley sec
ton of Kentucky progress has been
made in the control of tobacco root rot
through the development of resistant
varieties. The disease causes heavy
damage in these regions every year
and ordinary Burley tobacco is espe-
cially susceptible. In fields where the
native Burleys have failed completely,
some of the resistant strains have
given surprisingly good results.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1918-05-10
FINEST WEATHER IN TROPICS
Climate So Delightful That the Aver.
ago Person Would Soon Tire
of the Monotony.

The days were wonderful, and the
Alterations of sun and wind were as
exciting as the discovery of the
strange Malayan beasts and birds. The
sun rose softly-no breeze moved
cloud or leaf, and even the light came
at first moderately, indirectly, reflect
ed from the higher peaks, or hello
graphed from the mirror of half-hid-
den, distant waterfall. In early after
noon-one never knew just when-the
faintest of breezes sifted down and
blurred the lacery of tree-fern shad-
ows. The wind was cool and soon
strengthened, and by night the air was
surging violently through the gap, ST.
phoned from the cold SUBMITS down
to the hot, humid valleys. Day after
day one reawakened to the sense OF
tropical surroundings from q convic-
ton of a northern autumn, with the
wind full of swirling leaves and the
fronds soughing with the same sad
cadence as the needles of scented
pines of the northland.-William Bee
be, In The Atlantic.