Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1918-05-16
"HEARD ON THE STREET.
(From the White River Junction
Landmark)

(From the White River Junction
Landmark)
That Mr.. Hindenburg seems to think
that territory he gave up as worthless
a year ago is now worth 100000 men.
That n favorite way to clean up is to
dump a lot of rubbish at the opposite
side of the town from where one lives.
That it Is astonishing how easy it is
to get up at $50 a. m. and enjoy the
beautiful morning when the clock says
$3.50.
That while our farms lack labor. a lot
Of Jail prisoners are still occupying their
time carving their names on their cell
walls.
Tha there are more automobiles than
ever this summer. but the pedestrian
may be safe If he keeps in the house
Sundays.
That it's very kind for the m to
line up in their boosted terrible mass
formations. so our boys can shoot EN-
down quicker. e
That the haste with which the pro-
German politicians are crawling into
the Liberty ark hasn't been seen since
the days Of old Noah.
That with pleasure-automobile produce
ton cut down rs per cent. some Of our
speeders will have to get along with an
ancient Junk made last year.
! That the motorists who complain most
bitterly about bad roads are usually the
same ones who tear out the surface by
their reckless scorching.
That II Is denied that hoarders who
laid In six or eight barrels Of flour are
| going to lose 1t all, as everyone will
favor letting them keep what is mouldy.
! That the people who lack the energy
to run gardens probably will be the same
ones who will have poor health next
summer because they are indoors too
much.
That the news censorship should be
temporarily relaxed so that Kaiser Bill
| shall be Accommodated with all the de-
| tails about the big Liberty Loan sub
scription.
That in spite of the death OF eight
United States senator's within a year,
q large number of our heroic patriots
are still willing to take the risk of men,
bership In that body.
That on being asked what class or
element In the community makes the
most fuss about accepting the govern
ment's food regulations. n high official
says. "Thc male SEX"
That the wal isn't wholly bad when
the boys who used to collect cigarette
pictures and exhibit them behind the
barn are now collecting the artistic and
inspiring Liberty bond posters.
That road oil is scarce and tho roads
will be dusty this year. but 80 far none
Of the motorists has expressed any anx-
iety about the dust clouds he will de-
posit upon the people sitting on their
porches.
That the Kaiser persists that he must
have q frontage on the English channel
so that never again shall little Belgium
attack him..
That the base runner in 1918 reaches first
at the green pease, second at the beans.
third at the sweet corn and home with po-
tatoes in :he cellar.
That when you buy a Liberty bond you
have other people paying interest to you,
u,hen YOU don't you ave to pay all the
money to the other people.
That some people are forever growing
because wheat Is seven cents a pound.
uuhiIe others are greatly cheered because
potatoes are only two cents.
THAT as the boy help" will stop and
laugh and holler once or twice a day.
there Ia a feeling on the farms that the
rising generation Is utterly irresponsible
That the Germans are wearing wooden
cole. and paper uppers on their shoes, but
thev don't mind a little thing like that II
thew can keep from getting free govern
ment.
ing when the germs and microbes are
dr,ysn ont of their hiding places In the
carpets into the air 30 we can all breathe
them. ...
That when a man won't buy a Liberty
.ana ord won't give any reason for refus'
! - q h. about time to ask him why he III
,v,ro in a country which he is unwilling
That since setting the clocks ahead
Y ,,orva 40 splendidly, why not have 6
thermometer that would run 10 degree!
= 80 lou and make us all feel comfort
able next ummer'
THAT n must be an awful shock to thu
Germans to fnd that the Americans. con
trarv 10 the sacred assurances of theil
: Kaiser, have really several regiments o.
D troops "Over there"
That IL nice baseball weather make'
the old-time players think OF the goot
old lays on the village green when they
,s.d N wallop the next town in a ter
Ia hattie by the score Of o. to IS. What?
4 That the military experts who hav'
oil the war information packed to thu
,... detail In their massive brains. hav'
!. 10, va, decided whether the allies com
mand a force OF 100000 men or onl!
. 100000.
That It seems too bad that some of thes,
ds~ath-defying automobile Joyriders can
no In the trenches moving down Hun
instead Of needless children and deaf an
ahsent-minded people in this country.
That although a man can be compelled
q to give up his life In the trenches. yet yo'
have to go dow on your knees TO ge
some people to give 500 for a Libert,
bond, and they think they are doing tn
government q great favor At that.