Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1918-03-14
TOOTH YAkK|hG CAY
is TOU"IKG FRANCE
Red Cross Dentists Office Lacks
Nothing But the Lady
Assistant
From The stars and Stripes the Newspaper
published by American Soldiers some
"a here. in France -

From The stars and stripes. the Newspaper
published by American Soldiers some
where in France
The latest American atrocitv-a dem
tlst s office on wheels
Gwan, YOU say Gwan, yourself !
We've seen 1t; most Of the chauticurs
have seen III the colonel and everybody
else ho gets about at all has seen IT,.
That : what il is, a portable dentist )
office chair wall buzzcr and all, with
mrai 4xr~. hung starters. pin wheels
spittoons. cnh> Of cotton batting, tear
gas. laughing gas. chIoroiorm, ether,
eau Dc we, gold platinum and cement
to match Everything i there hut the
lady assistant, and even she may be
added in time
II YOU wanted to be funny about the
thing. YOU might call this motorized
dentists : parlor the rrownlng achieve
rncnt ii the Rcd Cos. for. strange 10
SAY It l. thr Rcd Cross. commonly sup
posed 10 ic on thc JOB oI alternating
human misery. that ha~ put the movable
torture chamber on the road. 10 play
,,nc tooth stands all along nc country
side But no ono wants 10 bc funny
about a dentist ) office that. instead Of
lvlng IN wait for YOU, comes out on the
road and chases YOU II too darn
serious a matter, YOU might almost say
that il flies IN the teeth Of all the con
ventions. Hague and otherwise.
1t looks part like an ambulance, but
il isn't An ambulance carries YOU some
where 80 that YOU can get some rest
travelling tooth vankery doesn't give
YOU a chance 70 rest II : white, Is the
outside of the car. just like baby 5
hearse. and just about as cheerful to
contemplate, on lts side 1t says, Den
+ tai travelling Ambulance No. THE
40. / part gIeoiully promising, no doubt
that this isl tie end Of them by any
means, but that there may be more to
follow.
USEFUL As TANK.
Somebody had nerve to invent il
all right. as if we didn't have troubles
enough as il is, dodging the reglTnenta
! dentist. and duchJng shells. aud clap
ping on gas masks and all the rest
| It is designed. according to one Who
! Processes 10 know about 1t, to kill tht
nerves Of anything that gets in front oi
| ii so We one and :d move that it, in
stead Of the tanks. be sent "ovcr the
TOP" and tried on the Boches The
minute they 81. "a fully lighted white
! painted car with the dentist arravcd
! with ai hi- Instruments OF maltreat-
| incnt standing ready for action by his
! electric chair, those Bochcs viii ilst
! turn around and run, and run, and run
! and wont stop running till they get
| smack up against their own old barbeo
! wire on the Eastern front The crowned
/ heads Of Europe trcmhlc before the ad
| vance Of the crowned teeth Of America
| ~ you might SAY il YOU were inclined
| to Joke about i; which VIC aernt
FOR FRENCH PATIENTS FIRST.
| One Of the Red Cross people, who wa
/ standing by ready for the command
/ Clear guns for action : told The Star
/ and stripes that the pcripatciic pair
| producer wasn't to be used 20 much
! for tie American troops discomfort
! as to fix up the cavities and what-not
Of the civil population Of France That
! was encouraging news, for while We don't
! bear our allies any ill-will, we think
| they ought to have the honor Of irving
/ the experiment first "Apres-vous, mon
chere CASTOR" 81 the saying goes
1 After all the French people in need
4 Of dental treatment have been treated
! however, the Red Cross person went on
/ to say that it might be tried out on
! the Americans yanks for the Yanks
as you might say if you were inclined
to be funny aboutit, as you ought n tC
be; but we prefer to think that the Wal
will be over by that time Anyhow
who ever heard Of an American whe
would own up to having anything the
| matter with his jaw
Be that as it may, when you see tn,
cussed thing on the road, Jump into
the ditch and lie low. It's real, an,
| il means business.