Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1918-04-26
1.-THE CLASSICSIg
81 coRA EvANs sANBoRN.

why, this war Is mere lncluehA
10 this glorious eounti'y!'' declared
Joel Burgess. 4 laugh at the idea OF
any other hoping to beat US, and the
bolsterous speaker voiced an echoing
laugh taat went clear through listen
ing guest. travelling salesman, so
hearty and spontaneous was the GUT
faw.
THAT may be your view of it."
mournful and sedate retorted Wyatt
Mills. but / look at the awful condi-
ton Of affairs bloodshed. devasta-
ton, coming staryationl We'd better
be weeping over the prospect than
gloating over the miseries of man
kind" and the speaker smothered an
actual sob in his throat and with that
Burgess left the hotel.
Regular characters of the town,
eh?s submitted the interested guest.
you've hit it exactly" replied the
landlord with animation. They're a
pair. ! tell youi Burgess is laughing
hall the time. Mills IS constitutional
" down in the dumrs"
"Why, man.. observed the guest.
.'those two men are absolute class.
les !"
What's thati" inquired the land
lord
"'gell once there were two Roman
philosophers Heraclites and Demo
critus, of whom your two friends who
hayS just left us are very fair proto-
types. Heraclites was the optimist OF
the world, who considered life a vast
joke and humanity lot of curios On
the contrary Democritus mourned con-
tinually about the Indebtedness of
the world, and went around expound-
ing the theory of constant tears as the
correct trend for the thinker and
philosopher"
THAT hits this case. doesn't it?"
grinned the landlord re cfsen won
dered-for neither Burgess nor Mills
is an old man, just turned thirty
what kind of husbands they'll make
If they don't get just the kind Of
women they ought to have that. is.
suited to their peculiar make up"
Judging from the persistency with
which Burgess and Mills had kept
away from the opposite sex. the ma
jority of their friends and acquain-
tances had long since concluded that
they would drift into a natural bach
elorhood.
John Doble. wealthy widower
died and in his win named Mary and
Janet Wilder his orphan nieces, in
very handsome wax. He left them
the old mansion where he had lived
for many years and enough additional
in investments to insure a comfortable
provision for life. There was quite a
flutter in the quiet village at the adj
vent of the two sisters. Mary. PLUMP
and jolly, was the elder. Her sister,
Janet, was thin and tall and Of j
quiet. reticent nature. Both possessed
good looks. and somehow suggested in
their opposite natures. the one laugh
ing, smiling Burgess. ana the other
the pessimistic, gloomy Mills.
Just your match, Mills, that Janet"
remarked the hotel landlord one day.
"As to you, Burgess" added the jo-
vial boniface, Miss Mary Is your true
counterpart" but neither Burgess nor
Mills encouraged further discussion of
the tneme of the moment. They look
ed askance at one another and when
they got outside the hotel Burgess,
with a searching look at Mills. OBJ
served:
People are beginning - learn that
we go down to the Wilder place a
good deal. ! reckon"
well, don't wer quizzed Mills, sus-
picion in his eye as he returned the
glance of Burgess.
For fact. yes, but remember we
have to-" reminded Burgess. "The
ladies' require our services in making
the repairs on the old house,
at was after working hours when
you went down there Saturday even
ing"
YES, and you wasn't on business
when You spent Sunday afternoon
there. Miss Janet. your hostess. I in
fer? You pair are like two peas" de-
clared Burgess.
All the town expressed vast amaze
ment when it became known that
Mills. the pessimist, was engaged to
Mary. and that the optimist. happy-go-
lucky Burgess. had chosen sedate.
smileless Janet as his life partner.
The happy four celebrated the dou-
bic wedding, went away on a bridal
tour, returned and settled down TO the
enioylrent Of life in a pleasant. har.
monious way.
Six months after that the same com.
mercial traveller who had discussed
Burgess and Mills as bachelors
Glanced to be again a guest at the no.
tel As an automobile containing the
recently married Burgess and Mills
and their wives sped by. he asked:
THAT our friends, Heraciites and
Democritus?"
Sure thing" responded the land
fo,sgf fe.,,r -