Evening journal., 1918-09-10
STORY ABOUT A HIRED GIRL.

G ONE years when the German chemists cooked up
- their monopoly in dyes and other chemicals neces-
sary 10 human happiness, and applied for foregn pat
enis, they doubted The honesty Of America, after the
German habit and to prevent dishonest Americans from
stealing their recipes they filed fake specifications with
their applications for patents, with Uncle Sam.
Sure enough, on Uncle refused to recognize
the patents and his chemists went 10 trying out the
recipes Behold in almost every it found that
essential ingredient indispensable step had been
omitted from the recipes formuae. The specifications
frauds and the recipes wouldn't work. Fine Teu-
tonic cunningi
But our American chemists did not lie and weep;
they went to work to discover why the blamed recipes
wouldn't work, and discovered why Fine American
grit And then they took the Hun by the short hair by
taking out domestic patents the Hun having inyadated
his patents by fraud and hereafter, If the Hun gets his
dyes and such into this country he'll pay nice royalty
10 American brains. It's mighty fine instance Of
boomerang and altogether reminds us of a story About
a Hired Girl.
Many years ago. but it and feels like last week,
a trust formed in a certain suburban community,
back in Ohio. There were mo Thrift Stamps in those
days and the trust put its first accumulation Of
capital from moving lawns running errands and sill-
ing pigs into large two-yvheeed cart.
Contemporaneously with the trusts possession Of that
cart, one boys mother possessed hired girl a buxom
Swede named Katura Jansen. You might forget your
first wife, grandmother pay day. but Katura,
having once met her Katura the embodiment OF
emotion Shed laugh at anything. cry at nothing,
easily and. as when in her flood of tears she was
composite picture Of the Horse Shoe Falls and the
emptying OF tub Of wash suds, the trust preferred
Katura at flood tide.
Wen, in the cleaning one day, the trust found
Kaura resting The kitchen steps and ooaxed her into
taking a ride in that cart She laughed like a horse
with oat srows in its nostrils called boys her dear
leedle ponies" and enjoyed herself greatly until weno
the rustreachcd the top Of the h and let go the cart
handles. Then Katura scooted
Halfway down you could fairly hear Katuras tears
fall, and the trust danced on rs six legs, swung its
hats and cheered her on from the top Of the Hill
Gosh but that a live trust for the promotion
of funl
But glancng two thirds way down the narrow Hill
side roadway. the trust perceived that father was
turning from his daily office toll on one side father
bore groceries, rolls OF music for Sister Ella etc ot
on the other side Of these long-handled wooden
garden rakes (The trust found four eggpans and two
pounds Of tomatoes in the adjoining bushes next day.
Daned if the fun didn't ooze out Of third OF that
trust right then
For brief second the father and Katura commingled
all miscellaneous and sudden and for The rest the
way the hill their best friends couldn't tell which
part was father which hired girl which cart or which
rake. There was. 10 be sure. brief flash Of JOY
when faher got upon his feet with the aid Of undiued
blasphemy but the rake handle swped him at the ankles
and he continued
Boys viii be boys" said mother, later on; and she
liked both father and Kaura, too But "falhers viii be
fathers" replied father, and after his demonstration Of
IT, in the woodshed where some blamed fool had just
delivered load Of lah the boys never saw any good
in trusts.
We hope we will not grleve those smart Aleck Hun
chemists by adding this moral:
A boomerang tastes lot bolter"Nyhen outward bound
than when coming back.