Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-05

skated like Charley Chaplin across the
ground and down the battery street
and landed on the southeast" but 1t
did not pain him. He did not have
anything on but his undershiYt, a pair
of breeches and a white apron like the
rest of the police officers wear in the
kitchen. He did not even have on his
leggins, and you can imagine anyone
standing inspection like that!
Jack stood there in the rear of the
line while inspection was going on
and the company stood at attention.
Pretty soon the fellows got to giggling
at him, because he was sure funny
sight. Then he got to initiating Char
ley Chaplin to entertain the soldiers.
He hit his tin coffee cup on the top of
his head and took up his mess kit and
held it like shield, and pretended he
was Charley Chaplin, gladiator. The
severe captain looked around and
spotted Jack, but did not know he was
looking.
The captain stood and watched Jack
a minute. Jack kept cutting his Ro-
man gladiator capers with the tin he'll
met and ham-and-egg shield. He was
so funny that the captain could not
help cracking grin, but it seemed to
hurt his face. He stifled the grin and
of him before Jack even saw the cap
tain. Jack was game, though, and
when he was surprised to find the cap
tain there beside him, he registered
despair.
! The captain said:
"a week in the kitchen for you, sir!"
Then Lack replied in his best crap
| shooting tone:
Shoot the whole month; got two
weeks already"
| So, l am sure that there will al
me company on the kitchen police
floor, and he will be, Jack Morrison.
Jack is a great hit with the women,
too. All you have to do to find this
out is to talk with him. He and Cad
! get Richards and a trooper named
Jawn Lamp are the three most dis
tinct hits of our outfit.
| Jack was sprouting mustache to
decorate his landscape, but the sani-
tary inspector came along and said he
would have to take the thing out of
the kitchen, SO Jack and Weber Ell
lott, the battery barber and also the
light-fingered chap Of the bunch, shaw
ed it off. Jack was up in the mechan-
les tent that night, Dragging about
his conquests with women, and some
body said that they wished Weber had
cut off Jacks lip.
Jack said he wishes he had fat feet
or something, then he would change
his name, and it would be Jack Nor
rison Army.
Duke Rosenfield is another distinct
hit with the women. Duke is the vet
eran of our troop-and when the war
is over he will be a veteran of the
war and two boils on the neck.
Duke is an old-time ball player, and
he is so distinguished looking in his
uniform. He resembles an Italian no
bleman in disgust. They call him "Old
Percentage" because he played ball,
and also because he plays a percent
age system when he shoots craps,
which is the International pastime.
He will take one dollar and get in a
crap game and If he loses the dollar
he-quits cold. He also quits when he
wins SO.
Duke says he makes a good living
this way. If he didn't take any more
interest in baseball than he does in
the army, he will make a much better
living now, than then. He reads up
on physical culture, and takes ali
sorts OF exercise, as he says it will
make him live longer. But the boys
say they don't see what he wants to
live longer for, as he drills as II he
was tired OF life.
Duke does everything differently
When it is cold, he sleeps Indifferent
ly, because instead Of taking of his
clothes, he puts on more clothes. He
is the only man in camp. barring my
self, OF course, who can cheat the gov
eminent out OF Is minutes sleep in
the morning. While the rest of the
camp is jumping into its clothes, Duke
is still pounding the hay. When rev.
ellie toots. he jumps out of bed, shakes
of coat and pair OF pants, straight
ems out his hat. shakes himself. and
walks out and reports for assembly.
| Well. hon. there is crap game 20.
ing on In my vicinity, and as do no,
need these last six bits. anyhow, will
close while l can buy the stamps.
| Sincerely,
j SKINNER MACK,
Battery d. One Hundred Twenty-sixth
NJ