Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-06-07


With a womanly sweetness about
it,
Will you guard it and keep it and
act the good part?
Well-maybe you will-but 1
doubt it DUTCH"
WE offer the following news
item without comment:
THE body of a man believed to
be the proprietor Of a Davenport
soft drink parlor was found float
ing in the river today. A receipt
acknowledging payment for 10
cases of beer led to the identifica-
ton"
MR.. Trigger of Rock Island was
married in Chicago yesterday. The
other day in Galesburg Mr.. and Mrs.
Shoot welcomed a daughter. Beats
all how the styles, even in names,
tend toward the military in these
sanguinary times.
GEORGE F. Paul, the fellow
who wrote the following essay on
Reporters" surely knew what he
was talking about, despite the fact
that our sporting editor IS not like
" to agree with him:
Reporters are brain-stOrm cen
tiers that communicate by tele-
phone with the world at large.
They reyolve counter lOCkwise
with payday as the pivotal point
They are quick to follow a lead,
though some of them would pre-
fer to follow a cigaret
when reporters first begin to
whang away at a typewriter key
board in one-fnger fashion. they
are called cub reporters. 1t is then
their duty to go for the mail, file
the cuts, chase after the fire wag-
Ons, post the baseball score and
entertain the angels who enter IN
aware of the fact that the walls
are honeycombed with photographs.
Cub reporters chew licOrice and
copy long pages from the works
of Jack London, Bill Nye, Lillian
Russell and Sam Slick to give
them style. After this season Of
sprOuting, they are sent out on
some technical sleuth work. It's
a pretty slow reporter that can't
find Charley Ross half a dozen
times in the city directory of Phil
adelphia. After he has solved such
mysteries, another great task con-
fronts hfm-he must learn 10 spell
cheat of pOleese.'
''As soon as a reporter begins to
write anything that no one can
understand he is assigned to cover
sports. The only way you know
what he is saying is to study the
official score.
Zone bold reporter once made
the resolve that he would tell the
truth at any cost This" he said.
will be a new thing for this paper
and will be a great circulation
builder"
That evening he was assigned
to report a wedding. The next
morning he grabbed a typewriter
and wrote:
The heavily mortgaged home
of Mr.. and Mrs. Hank Flipper was
the scene of a highly overdone we'd
ding last night. 1t was staged in
the front parlOr that smelIed musty
with paper flowers. Mrs Hank
wore a made-over black silk dress
that showed her form at the ell
bows. She cried for about two min
utes while the minister was feel
ing in his coat tails for a little book.
She was afraid that he'd have to
lay down on the job and she wanted
TO get Tillie off her hands the worst
way, so she had chosen matrimOny.
The bride wore nearly everything
in the house except rocking chair
that her Aunt Lib got with trading
stamps. The groom looked very
uncomfortable in a pair of brand
new shoes that contained a double
barreled squeak, which alone was
worth the SEAS. After the cere-
mony, all hands sat down to a fair
~ good meal. All looked uncom-
Portable till the groom knocked his
coffee-cup over into the brides lap.
This relieved the high tension and
gave Hank chance to kick his
son-in-law under the table, which
is a delicate subject indeed. More
a year hence
The next day that reporter trav-
eled out of town on a hog train and
now leads Loophound's life"
THEY do not have band concerts
at Watch Tower park every night
in the week yet the amusement re-
sort and particularly the inn con-
tinues to be crowded. It is con-
stantly filled with curious persons,
some from miles away, who have
heard Of Manager George r. Ste
Phenson and his knitting needles.
George is so fast with the needles
that 1t requires three persons to IN
skein the yarn. When asked why
he did not put in a knitting ma
chine, George informed a Chords
reporter that the machines are not
fast enough. At any rate, he sits
in the inn and clicks the needles
and makes socks for soldiers while
his inn fills up with scores of per
sons who come to eat ice cream
soda and watch George knit.
A FAIR sample of the fighting
ability of the American troops Is
given in the report OF the battle on
the Marine showing 1000 Germans
were accounted for by a single
American machine gun battalion
which suffered the loss OF but one
Yankee killed and a few wounded.
II you're doing any betting on the
war, we advise you TO stick il on
the boys from u. S. A.
IT'S a thousand to one shot.
o. d. K.