davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
On Guard.

I've done some dirty diggin' and I've totcd heavy
loads,
I've marched for many miles day on Shiny,
muddy roads;
I've loaded trucks. and chopped up wood, and
thought it mighty hard,
But I'd do them all at once than have
to go guard.
They worked in the kitchen till it tried my ut
most soul
And then | joined the firing sqyad-the one
that shovels coal.
I've even picked up stumps and scraps around the
barracks yard,
But Id sooner do it all again than have to 90
guard.
Its on those bitter, wintry nights-your backbone
all a-chill,
And cursin' every German boob and mostly
Kaiser Bill,
'Tis then you know within your soul there's moth
ing quite so hard
As being routed out of bed to have to go on
guard
Its being out alone at night, and walkin' up and
down,
And speakn' not word until the sergeant
comes aroun,
And all the time a-thinkn' OF your Susie or your
Mand- s. .I.-- -
Yep! I'd sooner do most anything than have to
go on guard.
H. J. WATSON. ssrst Engta /.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29

barons to srange the cattle raising industry, but It
win not permit them to sell or try to sell rotten
meat to sons fighting for the liberty Of the
world. the honor of America, and the safety of all
Of us-including those who would poison them with
unfit food
If you would save your own bacon, Mr. Meat
Packer, and keep your packing plants in your own
hands, suggest that it is much safer tor you to
feed your rotten meat to your own family than to
sell it to the American government for soldiers
and sailors.
. There is, however, in this meat expose, one
bright and clean spot. 1t is the promptness> and
dispatch with which the government inspectors
threw out the rotten meat soon as they uncov-
cred its condition No amount of Influence" could
get that meat passed when once its stencil reached
their nostrils. And governmental agencies imme-
diatey got upon the trail of the concerns respon-
sible and stuck until the public informed.
Remember the "embalmed beef scandals" OF the
Spanish-American war? Remember how old Capt,
Baer was arrested in Washington for trying to
persuade Secretary of War Alger to stop the sale
of UNFIT meat and how the "ld" was held down
tight until the packers had sold all their poisonous
despite the fact that hundreds OF our soldiers
died and thousands made i'll?
Thank God that no such "lid" can be kept in
place in this war Not only will there be no
"concealing lid" but everything points to rigid in
spcction and honest rejection of rotten tood That
means much to fathers and mothers of boys in
training and those who fighting in the trenches
of France. 1t means much to those sons of ours.
To many of them it life and health. 1t
means less profit to the packers. And, it may mean
that Uncle Sam shall have to take the packing
plants.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
A LINE o. CHEER
EACH DAY o. THE YEAR
BY John endrIck Bangs.
THE ROSE.

THE ROSE.
Think you the Rose Is made by buffet
ingI
'Tis not the stormy blast that makes
IL sweet.
'Tis not the bitter wind on angry
wings!
That makes its perfect beauty so
complete.
'Tis the caress OF light that makes It
fair,
And holds II tendcry in its embrace.
1t is the smiling skies, and silky air.
And gentle draughts of rain that give
it grace.
The perfect Flower. a blossom Of pure
Love,
The child of tenderness and SYM
pathS,
The ultimate of beauty's treasure
troye-
Such as the roses of our souls might
be!
fC0p,Tight. l9ls)
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
The Meat They Eat.

Commission with having sold and offered for sale
for in the L. S. Army food unfit for humap
consumption" The commission is without power to
punish the packers if they found guilty. and
The Food Administration do little more.
But the fact that the packers may escape with
little Punishment measured in terms Of fines
and imprisonment, is of small importance to the
American public right American meat barons
are digging their own grave" by such practices
Nothing else they do will so surely hasten
government ownership and operation of the meat
industry. long suffering public can and will put
up with packers excessive profits; at will stand be-
ipg gouged in prices, and has permitted the beef
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
An Economical Husband.

The conversation in the lobby of Washington
hotel turned to the subject OF war time economy
when fitting anecdote was related by Representa-
tive Porter H. Dale OF Vermont.
Recently the Browns moved into house,
and not liking the wall paper in the dinng-r room,
Mrs. Brown decided to have it repapered at her
own expense. The work done while Brown
was at the office.
81 want you look at the dining room, Jimmy"
said little wifey when the old man returned the
dinner hour and was ,Prondly, led into the apart
ment. How do you like it,"
81 like the paper all right" replied Brown just
a little emotionally, "but why in the world did you
use paste in putting it on?"
Pastel" was the wondering rejonder of the
good woman. How on else could l have put it
on"
you should have put it with tacks" declared
the economical husband. you don't suppose we
going to live in this house forever do you?"-
Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
BILL PROPOSES new
TAX PAYMENT PLAN
Changes System Of Collecting When
Land Subdivided.

A new method of redistribution
OF general taxes and special assess
ments OF real estate in the District
in cases of subdivisions or sales of
lands Is provided in a bill intro
duced in the House of Representa-
tives by Ben johnson. of kentucky.
chairman of the House District
Committee.
The bill provides that where a
subdivision of any parcel of land is
made during the last six months OF
the year. the general tax upon Such
land for prior years and for the
first half of the fiscal year must be
paid. and all water main and sewer
assessments. and special assess
ments of any kind. must be paid be-
fore such subdivision is admitted to
record. and the general tax for the
last half of the fiscal year must be
paid on the following may.
Whenever a subdivision is made
during the first six months of the
year. the total general tax assessed
against the original parcel of land
for prior years and for the current
fiscal year, and all water. sewer and
special assessments must be paid
before such subdivision is admitted
to record.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Wood.

The administration owes it to itself we'll as
to the country to make a full statement OF the
facts in the Leonard Wood
At present it is in an equvocal, unenviabl. po-
sition 1t is clearly on the defensive in what will
develop into classic scandal of the war if it does
hot set itself right before the country.
The truth may clear the air. 1t is suggested
that Gen. Pershing is responsible for shift which
cruelty deprives the ablest military this
side OF the Atlantic OF the chance OF fighting for
his country. II Pershing requested that Wood,
his old friend, who, governor OF the PHILIPPINES,
gave him his first chance OF distinction in the
campaign against the Moros, the country should
know it, and judge between the two men accord
ingly. Ii he did not request it, his name should
be cleared at once OF such stigma or smalness
and picayunishneSS
1t is hardly conceivable that the administration
will let the case rest as it stands. The implication
which the public will draw against it too plain,
too humiliating, for it to endure in silence. Its
enemies will accuse it OF incredible vindlcuvenesS.
The charge OF playing petty politics" will be
banded about freely. The sneer that the admins
tration is afraid" of Wood afraid, perhaps, that
he will become a popular hero and have some in
iluence in 1920, is heard all over Washington.
These things may be passed by unimportant, but
II such tares are be without word OF
protest or correction from those who know the
facts the reapng will be destructive.
The administration is being unjusty accused OF
unspeakable smallness. few words will obvate
the prospect OF fostering national scandal Let
US have them without delay.
Leonard Wood may have some faults, but his
services to his country far outweigh his defects
either Of temperament conduct, that 1t would
be tragedy to have them rob his great career
OF what should be its greatest glory. To deprive
such a soldier as Wood is OF the chance OF scrv-
ing his country in this is justihable only on
grounds OF which the nation so lar has not been
given the slightest intimaton.
Perhaps the story is withheld ior the sake OF
shielding Wood, or ior military reasons. Leonard
VAnGA does not know what cowardicc is, and he
has never been known to fear the truth, matter
how much it hurts himself
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Truck Iniures; Grocer Sued.

Charles r. Shelton filed a suit in
the District Supreme Court yester-
day against John Z. Baker, a local
grocer, for 5000 damages. alleged
to have been sustained March 81
1917, when a Ford delivery wagon
belonging to defendant is said to
have run over Shelton while he was
crossing the street at the intersec-
northwest.
According to the complaint. the
accident occurred at $50 in the
morning. and resulted in permanent
injury to plaintiffs shoulder blade
collar bone. and right arm. C.
Csbell Williamson and A. h. Ven
Week are attorneys for Mr.. Shell
ton,
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Secretary Baker Comes Clear" :"

Was there an insidious propaganda OF misrep-
resentaton to labor in connection with the
work or hght' order? Maybe there was.
Did stories in eastern and other anti-adminis-
tration papers, limiting that VIC were right the
way to raising the draft age and inierring broadly
that labor conscrpton and military strike ebreaking
the objects aimed at, leave false impression:
Did they unwttingly, or otherwise, set tongues
waggng all the country in the interests OF
German propagandsts, whose main purpose these
days is to create distrust OF their government in
the minds OF democracy's workers: Maybe they
did.
But today that is all water that has passed over
the wheel. Secretary Baker has come clean"
again on the labor issue.
Substantially, this is what Baker says: In no
will the draft law be used a whip over the
American workingman. He has assured the
try that there will be no military strke-breaking
by stating that the who conscientiousy pro-
against inadequate pay impossible living and
working conditions, high-handed attempts at
poitation by employer will not be regarded
an "ider" by the War Department. He has pointed
out that the sole and only purpose OF the new rul-
ing is to bring pressure to bear the non-essen-
tial worker-thc ribbon clerk the barkeeper, the
chauffeur or the butler to the rich-to change his
occupation.
Everybody who has watched Mr.. Bakers per-
formance in office knew that this the
anyway. They knew that he was lair. 1t was
good enough pointer when some months ago he
insisted that army forestry regiments, who assist
ed in getting trees for shipbuiding in the
northwest, should be compensated by timber own
ers at best prevailing rates of pay. But they
glad to have the statement at that 1t shuts up
the clackers
The fact is that there has been band OF labor
conscription rooters OF which the people have been
mighty distrustful, very much in evidence since
the war began. The washington Herald has
ported time and again that this fallacy is the bur-
den of the talk in hotel lobbies at the capital
among wouId-bc pro6teers and professional labor
baiters trying to horn in government jobs.
And it is idle to think that pro-Germans, pacists
and obstructionists in gcncral-not forgetting the
political seekers who avowcdly get the
presidents goat-hayc not grabbed on to it. 1t
has been made to order for them.
Secretary Baker comes right out in meeting and
tells all these fellows where they get off!
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Uncle Sam Visits Arizona.

1t looks as if democracy at last will have a
show for its white alley in Arizona. The ndict-
ment by Federal grand jury of bunch OF
Arzona's leading citizens for conspiracy to de-
prive other citizens of their constitutional rights
is hopeful sign.
1t so happens that these leading citizens OF
Arizona are managers, superintendent and other
officials of mining properties owned by absentee
landlords of the East, together with city and
county officials and business who helped run
the mining country for the benefit OF the absentee
owners-like some of their k the Colorado
mining country for the Rockefellcrs.
What the highbrow rowdes did was to forci-
bly, deport about 100 citizens of Arizona from
Bisbee because these citizens happened to be
union miners
Now Uncle Sam, through his Department OF
Justice has stepped in, and the leading citizens
who took the law into their own hands will
have to stand trial like other criminals with
less wealth and influence.
The ciicct OF this action by the government
will be wholesome, even though the indicted men
have pull enough in Arizona to escape conviction;
for they can't prevent the truth about their out
rage coming out in court and getting to the
people OF the United States. And when the people
know the truth about the fctdal practices of some
OF our mining barons, Uncle Sam will put stop
to it, There is some hope that eventually even
West Virginia, Colorado and Michigan may be-
come civilized.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Hold Them If You Can.

There arc now four issues OF Liberty Bonds
outstanding
These include the first Liberty Loan. the second
and third and bonds OF the second issue which have
been obtained by the conversion OF bonds OF the
first issue into bonds OF the second.
Shortly two new issues will make their appear
ancc They will be Ia per cent bonds obtained
by conversions OF bonds OF the first and second
issues into bonds OF the third issue.
Any OF these bonds may be sold in the market
at a price slightly below par value. Possibly they
will remain below par throughout the war, but they
arc about as increase in value after the war
is over as the is to rise. Those who will
reap the profitable harvest out of our Liberty
Bond investments will be those who hold their
bonds until we've licked the Kaiser. Every person
who sells before that time loses money the
transaction.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
SARDINES MUST NOT SOAR.

The Food Administration an
nounced yesterday that prices of
sardines higher than those recon-
mended by the industry in Maine
for the 1918 pack will be consid-
cred unreasonable under the Food
Control Act. A maximum price of
$3.50 per case was set on one-fourth
keyless oil sardincs and 1925 on
one-fOurth and three-fourths stand
ard mustard sardines: The custo-
mary differentials for cartons and
keys will prevail.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
MISS BESSIE CROSS MARRIES

Miss Bessie NJ. Cross, an emplOye
in the Office of Registrar of Wills
Tanner, at the courthouse, was mar
ried yesterday afternoon at Ingram
Memorial Church by Rev. DIR. Pur-
dunn, to w. NJ Lynn. of South Caro-
lima. The pair left for a short
honeymoon trip to Atlantic City,
and upon their return will reside at
1909 Fifteenth street northwest
The brides fellow employees not only
extended many congratulations, but
presented her with useful wedding
gifts.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29

Twenty-four British officers. who
have been touring the coun try for the
Red Cross. will now make a swing
around the circuit" for the National
War Savings Committee. They were
assigned to the latter body yesterday
by the British War Mission. and VIII
attempt-slong with hundreds OF other
speakers-to get all adults, as well as
children. to buy War SAVINGS Stamps,
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29

speeal correspondent Of The Washington Hersl
New York May IS.
He's a spectroscopist.
And he has acquired.
More useless information.
Than any man 1 know.
Except the college professor.
I met on a train one day.
Who went in for polytheism.
But the spectrOscopist
Had a letter to me.
From a friend of mine.
Who asked me.
To pilot him around town.
And show him the wonders.
And l showed him.
The Woolworth Building.
The Museum of History.
A tailor I don't owe.
And finally he asked me.
II l knew where.
He could get a peruke.
And he kinda blushed.
And looked foolish.
And I said: II gotcha."
So backed him into.
A pair of swinging doors.
And up against.
\ glittering brass rail.
And told the gent.
To make the best peruke.
He knew how to mix.
And to take something himself.
And the spectroscopist.
Began to cough.
And fidget.
And said:
You misunderstood.
II want a peruke."
You know a perruque"
And 1 scratched my head.
And said:
oh! You want a peruke?"
How careless of me-"
So 1 made for a cigar shop.
And he baked.
And said he didn't smoke.
And there was !.
In the heart of New York,
With a spectroscopist.
Who wanted a peruke.
And l didn't know.
What a peruke was.
Until I got home.
And found out.
In the dictionary.
What the little guy.
Wanted was a wig.
To cover his bald dome.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29

DR.. Arthur T. Blachly, formerly of Portland
Orc, has invented knee-writcr for armlcss heroes
OF the war providing again that construction always
keeps at least one lap ahead OF destruction.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29

Realizing that there frequently
arise occasions when it is TO the
interest of complete records to Sc
cure photographs of events, persons.
or things. for future reference, the
Bureau of Navigation has allowed
TO each division of battIeships.
cruisers, and patrol vessels. to each
fiotilla of destroyers and sub
marines, to each naval district and
TO certain other leading vessels. one
kodak camera, and an OUTFIT OF
developing and printing material,
all of such type that an experienced
amateur can produce results. Such
an amateur can usually be found
in the ships company. This equip
ment will be issued by direction of
the captain on written order of the
navigator to the person selected as
the ships photographer, and will
he receipted for by him. Consum-
able stores may be replenished from
quarterly money allowance, or bv
in excess" requisitions submitted
TO the Bureau of Navigation.
buTEeOn teneIdl Z. NJ. hlNey, I. S.N.
rstiTed. is conducting an inspection.
for Surgeon General Braisted. who was
unable to leave his duties in Wash
ingtOn. of all the naval hospitals
and other medical facilities along
the East coast. He has been en-
gagged on this duty for the past
month, and is at present at
Charleston, s. c. In the reports he
has thus far submitted. he has ex-
pressed his qualification at the ex-
tent and splendid condition of the
medical facilities In the sections
which he has inspected. He started
at Portsmouth, n. H.. andis now
completing the Southern and Gulf
coast stations. With minor eXcep-
tions. he has found everything most
satisfactory at all the hospitals,
particularly in the new develop
ments where it might he expected
that some defects would be discov-
cred. His reports have been re-
ceived for the first four districts.
and it is hoped that his inspection
Of the Southern stations will be
equally satisfactory.
1t is possible to pack a multitude
OF tnOusnl INTO one or Two snort
sentences. But the farewell orders
of Gen. Blocksom were than COM
monty pertinent They are here
quoted:
Headquarters Thirty-fourth Division,
Camp Cody. n. Mex.
General Orders, No. Is.
]. On changing station the division
commander desires TO express appre-
cation of loyal cooperation ny Off
GERS and men OF Camp Cody in hard
but profitable work during many
months past.
?. He is confident that il fate per-
mits the Sandstorm Division will do
its full duty and fight with skill, vaior
and persistence. on many foreign
fields. A. p. BLOCKSOM,
Brigadier General, L. S. A.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
AN Announcement

"PershIns's Crusaders" the hrst Of . series OF
eficial war hlms released hy the Esvernment
through the Committee Public Infermstiea. will
be presented at Pois Thester next week. beginnInE
Monday RiEht, with daily matinees thereafter.
Tkls engagement will bring 10 the natian's
center expedition Of Uncle SANS activities in
the great both sides of the Atlantic. Al n
tisualised history Of events that have the
world Rthroh % be compared with nothing thst
the motion picture art has yet produced. Ia has
eleetrihed New York and ChieaGs and saIekened
the heart action of every true American that has
witnessed &c.
Owing 10 previous bookings I'm Warrington
fheaters IL has been Impossible Introduce tkIs
histOFy panorama TO the Capital up tkIs time
and Polls has been made available snly through
the patriotic generOsIty OF ID. w. GrInith Whose
latest aim romance, .IieaFts of the MOrId,- was
scheduled open there Moaday aIght. MIR. IsrIntth
has waived the hrst week Of his booking
does "fersinE's Crusaders" set Its initial ShsWtaE
within the shadow OF the Capitol. UndeF other
eircumstances IL would probably have been booked
Tor . several weeks
The opening perfOrmanee Monday nIEkt Is "a
pected to be n most brilliant event. ThIs and the
succeeding performances Will attract capacity au-
deaees and persons desiring seats should purchase
sPea Thursday morning and these prices will pre-
walls Nights. 2Se, sOe TSe 81 and 81 t0g
Soc and 81 The governments share thc net
receipts will be donated 10 the Allied War Chart
ties.
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
Army and Navy News

In view Of the provisions of Sec
ton OF the act OF May q, 1917.
In regard to Icports on temporary
officers Of the navy and Marine Corps.
the following is promulgated by the
secretar' Of the Navy: when 4
retiring beard. the board in its find
inss shat state specifically whether
or not the physical disa abillty was IN:
CURED iE line of ~, and, IL in
CURED IN line OF duty, whether or
not II was incurred prior or subse-
quent TO his temrorar.' advancement
or Temporary appointment. as tbs
case may lie. The 9ficer under .x-
animation will be informed Of the
finding and GtYCh an "rpUtunity 10
be hear1
The Washington herald., 1918-05-29
BRITONS TO AID W. S. S. SALE,

To cover his bald dome.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1918-03-16
MAX MARGIN WROTE
NEW FARCE COMEDY

Max MARGIN, one of the authors of
Here Comes the Bride" the farce
comedy coming to the Apollo Theatre,
March IS, for a t~hree-days' engage
ment, has the unique distinction of be-
ing the only known playwright who
ever voluntarily paid back money that
had been advanced to him on an un-
written play. MARGIN undertook to
write a play for Oliver Morosco deal
ing with the Japanese conspiracies in
this country. Morosco paid him ST.
500 in advance. Then the United
States entered the war and MARGIN i'm
mediately called upon Morosco and
handed him a check for $1,000. Here's
your money back" said he. 81 can't
write that play now, for Japan is our
ally" Morosco was so %astonished
hat he accepted the check and can
celled the contract before he really
knew what he was doing.