Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-03-12
CHAPTER TWELVE.
Concerning the Ups and Downs Of
Lie,

LANs
Contrary to the laws of gravita-
ton, going up in life is easy, while
coming down is hard. A man may
increase his living expense by al
most any sum without effort. Con
trariwise a man may decrease his
living expense only by the graYest.
A man spending twenty thousand
dollars a year can arrange to spend
thirty sthOusand without the slight
est difficulty: but force him to live
on nineteen. and he'll find it virtu-
ally impossible. Not that he will
find any more happiness in the
thirty thousand. He won't Not
that he'll find any the less happi-
ness in the nineteen thousand. He
won't The chances are that he left
most of his happiness behind him
when he was spending thousand
or twelve hundred or whatever it
was. and had TO NOW the lawn HIM
self and once in a while help his
wife wash the dishes so that they
could get to the theatre in time and
see the performance that the boss
had tickets for but couldn't use be
cause his son, who got an allow
ance of fifteen hundred dollars
year outside of all expenses, had
skipped off with chorus girl leav-
ing his mother all upset and his
father. vino didn't have sense
enough TO know that it was all his
own fault, as sore as a crab.
There are rare exceptions to this
rule of course. But they are very
rare. Like two-headed calves and
honest politicians.
1t would be tedious to follow our
hero through all the mazes of his
physical, moral, mental and social
enchancement. But some may not
be amiss For instance, the morn
ing after.
Our hero was accustomed to ris-
ing early, say at four of summer
and an hour later of winter. The
habit of years is hard to change,
no matter how many cocktails are
superimpOsed.
On the morning following our lit
tie row of dots. our hero awoke at
the accustomed hour. Immed-
lately after, he was deeply regret
full that he had done so. 1t
was a. big bed on which he lay
Which was an excellent thing; 9TH
erwise his head would have Tapped
over both sides His mouth was
full of. cinders and he was as GER
tain as circumstantial evidence
could make him that somebody had
been jumping dup and down on his
stomach while he was asleep. What
had happened TO him he didn't
know He knew only that 1t must
have been Something Awful. and
he wondered If anybody had been
saved besides him.
Then he thought how nice Ii was
Of someone to rescue him even if
they had to convert an art muse
UNI into an emergency hospital to
take care of the wounded
Though on thinking il over, he
would have been much better salts
fed if they had let him die. He
still wondered if he would Pull
Through.
His head ached as though some
body were pounding 1t with a ham
mer. BY and by he decided to
take stock of his injuries. He lift
ed his arms. They seemed all right
He moved one leg. 1t worked He
tried the other. That, too, seemed
as usual.
He sat up in bed His head hurt
terribly. He was sick and dizzy
and weak. He swung his legs
over the side of the bed and rose
to his feet -
He saw q carafe OF water, ice
cold One leap. and he had it,
Anon he felt better.
He lay his head again upon the
burning pillow and tried tried to
figure il out. II couldn't have
been an accident Something
he had eaten. perhaps He
tried to remember what he had
eaten. II was no use. He couldn't.