Ripley County democrat., 1918-03-15
Mr.. SIMPkINS PAYS
!. HIS INCOME TAX
py ROBERT moeLAIR.

Colonel Simpkins. who had -four times
been promoted for valar during the
Civil War and had died bravely On the
field Of action. Mr.. Slmpkins throat
ached now for two reas,,ns: FIRST, he
reverenced and atior,d the memory Of
his father; secondly. his age aud his
eyes and his game lev wouldn't let him
70 to WIZ himself And us he observed
the martial hearing and nncoinpromis-
ing gaze Of Colonel SimpkIns, he saw.
In Imagination. the KHAKI. rlad In'ls of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles Of sea to
fight, maybe die. FOR liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Hess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he straightened md
threw his right arm up for u salute.
But his gonty shoulder winged. aud he
groaned. lie couldn't even sdiute.
Damn" I" said sir. Simpkins, and
with his other hand fercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turred and limped into the H.
brary and ait down crenkiiy before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his incDme tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
.nue officer only TINT day after lunch.
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted TO just about $15yO00, and b.
had been rather sDappy on the sub
tect Of taxes ever since he had discov
cred that the more income o man hns
the greater the percentage Of It he
pays IN taxes. lie could think Of sew
eral men who, Ike himself, we're mar
ried and Ind two children. and yet,
although their Incomes we're nearly
half Of his, they would pay only a
small frnction Of the amount he paid
He gloomily drew. the hlank nearer
and began filling In the information
that Il asked for.
As Mr. Slinpkins' ineomewa $4,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes Of incomes In order to arrive
al the total due from himself. He
passed over the FIRST class who must
pay taxes. thar is, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1915 law) on nil income over
$4,000. deducting 500 for each OF their
children under eighteen years. In Mr.
Simpkins' cise this was s2l2. which he
put down In the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law. married men pay IN additional 2
per cent. on nIl over s., ,000- Nth the.
same allowance for children. Thls
added S25a to his payable column.
lie then observed that for every
sc.hN0 junp In his income over $4,000
he hnd to Ray Surtax. the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $50 more adde.i to his burden.
And on top NJ all this came an "Ex.
cess Profits" tax OF 8 per cent. on ql,
"occuiation" income over $1,000. max.
ing $720 more.
The total. then. he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty.four dollars
"whew!'' exclaimed Mr. Stmpkins
nngrily. "rhere's Young Henry VII.
kins. who married Jake Johnsoh's girl.
he makes 5000 and he doesn't pay q
cent. Of taxes. I guess this is his war
as well as mine!"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins
: he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross aud tliat Henry, who
was q lawyer. was aiding the Local
Draft Board with It's questionnalres.
SWELL" he admitted to himself.
'rhat makes q difference"
lie thought next Of Judge Wiilough-
by. whose Income was about 5000.
"fie only pays So" commented Mr..
SImpkins. not quite 90 angrily this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat up rigidly In his chair.
Judge willouRhby's son had been
drowned on the Tussania when Il was
Summarized with the loss OF two hun
dred soldiers.
-Judee willoughhy gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. SimpkinA
He leaned forward suddenly aud put
his face In his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still In that position. There was
no sound In the library except the
ticking Of the tall clock and an occa-
sionaI triil Of laughter from the chill
dren skylarklng upstairs. The square
Of light on the carpet gradually with
drew Itself through the window, and
first twilight and then darkness settled
In about the quiet. white haired, some
times irascihle old man.
Mr. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward speak
Of. he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to he put into words.
But some lnkling Of his thoughts may
be found In his rejoInder to> Mrs.
Slmpkins when that placid lady came
IN and turned on the lights. and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner.
"Judgs wiIloughby's only son was
worth a. much 90 fourteen hundred
and thlrty-four dollars, wasn't her"
Mr.. SirnpklDs demanded Of her.
Az his wife, who was not unused to
his superficial irvitations, watched him