Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-04-22
BUY A LIBERTY, BOND.
Torchy Lands q Shy One. !
(By!Sewell Ford, Creator of the
.'Torchy", Stories.)

he hands me this slip of paper Win
!, name an address on it.,
"Torchy," says he, "just look UP,
this Mr.. 2. X. Barker, will You, and.
get his subscription to the third
loan?"
eyes, sir" says I, maxim a noise
like brisk business. Got him down
for anything special?"
eyes, sir" says Mr.. Ellins, con-
sultin' a list. "Oh, say about Ave
thousand" J.
give, right" says I, salutin'
snappy. And breezes down towards
tho Produce Exchange hummin'
merry air. That is, meant it merry.
All I'd stopped for was to look up
Bankers ratin'. Good? Wish l had
one like it. Cotton broker. And you
know how those boys have been comm
it the last year or so. Ta-ta-ta-a-a,
te-dee-da-da-a-a! is,
Then runs up against this peeVlsh
gink guardin' the inner door,
"Mr. Barker is very busy, ver-ruh
busy" says he, scowlin' hostile.
"Ah, save that old stuff to crush
some agent WITH" says I, He'll be.
buster yet when he finds Pm here.
Rush in the card, Harold, so he won't
~ wonderin' what delayed me-"
What do you wish to see him
apout?" demands the Peeved One. e.
,out three minutes" says !.
nd you might add, if your tongue
amt handcuffed, that Pm representing
the Corrugated Trust on little gov
crnment deal that runs into big fig
ures."
Uh-huh? That fetches him. A few
more ticks OF the clock and I'm IN
leanin' against the big mahogany desk
gettin' a closeup of 2. K. But say,
if it hadn't been for Old Hickory him
self givin' me this steer, and MIN
chairman of the subcommittee, |
might have thought there'd been
come mistake. This Barker party
don't look like a ready loosener.
Hardly. Narrow set eyes, mouth like
a crack in the pavement, and signs
Of bristly disposition all over his
nap.
"wsl}?" he demands. "What sort
or rcgcr rent contract is. this?" r
port" says l. Sending stop
.,ers for Bill the brute"
"Wha-a-at?" hr. growls. "Whad-
dyemean?"
ooh, the one we're all in" says |.
"You know-Liberty bond stuff. You
sign here"
This time it wasn't even growl.
It's a gurgle. And his neck tints up
like a turkeys. "Gr-r-r-r" says he.
"Get out! Take it away"
at amt death warrant, Mr.. Bar
ker," says l. cts just an application
blank for
81 don't want any fool Liberty
bonds" he snarl:, assaultin' the desk
blotter with his fist. I've told you
people that dozen times. Now why
the"
"That's just it." l butts in. eyes,
probably that's why I'm here. Odd,
ART it?"
''It's blinketylblanked outrage,
that's what it Isl" he shouts. "Am l
to be bounded like this? Don't |
know my own mind? don't believe
in war anyway. I'm not going to
help finance one, either. Not me.
Why should 1 buy"
"My cue," says |. Thanks, ! got
more answers to that than there are
hairs on dogs tail. With your kind
permission III shoot a few. How
much would your business be worth if
you didn't have Uncle Sam back of it,
or the British and French back of
him? Where would it be now if the
U-boats wasn't bein' hunted so hard?
You know. You'd be Begin the mid
die west farmer to buy Scent cotton
to bed down their cows with. Now
wouldn't yo?"
"Humph." says Barker, registerin'
scorn. "That's what our governments
for, to protect commerce. l pay my
taxes, don't y"
EYES," says /, sand maybe some of
it goes toward payin' The police. But
if strong arm gang should raid your
block some night, sew the cop in a
sack, break in next door, and begin
Robin and murderin' your neighbors,
includin' women and kids, would you
shut Down your windows and gaze
calm at your last years tax receipt?
No. You'd grab your automatic, or
the tiretongs, and wade right into the
>,,uSS Tb,+,r what tha IL g has