Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1918-11-14

If it weren't for that rule life would
be unbearable. 1t makes the navy
one mad rush TO beat the other guys
time. First there first served If
you're there last it's "out~of luck,
Jack, better lnck uext time"
Oh, yes, mother dear, "It's great
life if you don't weaken" and I'm not
weakening by long shot. still kid
the scales along at 1873 pounds, so
you'll understand me and Mr.. Schlitz
might even yet pass for each other.
Yes, and again we are supposed to
"swab out" our room every morning
before chow. Eleven and half min
utes flat is allowed by the all-seeing
eye of the powers that be" to blow
reveille for US to "hit the deck" make
up the hunks, sweep out and swab
down. Angle time, oh yes. Just try
it once, all you who believe that. But
listen; l thought / had a plan doped
out that would get US acrosst the line
in time. figured we could get all
the work done down to "swabing
down" Then thought being as
how one swabed out every morning,
Saturdays, Sundays and holidays also
included, and the floor was inspected
while just finishing drying, that per-
haps after all we swabed down to get
the floor WET. 1t worked fine UNI
til the o. D. (officer of the day), left
a note in the room one morning which
said: Notice to sailors informed in
Room 81, Perkins Hall-Attention
We have you swab these rooms. to get
them clean, not merely to give you
practice at oscillating the mops. So
my Golden Rule didn't work that time
and as result we not only get the
rooms clean now, but we also are
working off hours of extra duty in
dicating our proficiency with the
broom in the officers headquarters.
Pretty good, Ell? Well, we were al
ways accommodating.
Another sight which always strikes
me as disgusting and comical at the
same time is this: Anyone loves to
sleep. Now if'a sailor doesn't get
enogh at night he tries to get it in
the day time. To get it in the day
time means to get it in school, be-
cause we are in school when it is dark
fiand we don't get out unlit it is dark
and we aren't going to shool nights
either. So of course one couldn't i'm
agine the officers instructing the
classes allowing US to sleep during
class. So if sleep is necessary it is
also necessary to keep the fact from
the officers. Thus comes in handy
various ideas Of camouflage.
Some perfectly healthy sailor will
sitting up straight as string, SEEM
ingly awake, awake, except he isn't.
Others will be leaning forward on
their arms resting upon the desk and
their fingers neatly hiding the fact
their eyes are closed, while others will
be sitting in such a position that one
would imagine they were in bed, if
| they only had their shoes off. But
again ! can only say, leave it to a
sailor.
But speaking of camQuflage how do
you like this: For long while en-
joyed the reputation of having the
cleanest seabag in the company I
was openly lauded by both the brig
ade and regimental commanders FL
nally the captain became inquisitive
at my rep" and held bag inspec-
ton. When the inspection party
came to bag, they stopped and gazed
and then even the captain was forced
to admit it was SOME WHITE sea-
bag. He even went to the point of
touching it. All! therein lies my
ruin. AS he was about to touch it he
tripped and came against the object
OF Wonderment as thousand Of
brick. The next scene was one %
coughing and dust. For the film of
sweet scented talcum powder which
had so neatly camoflagedi my seabag
for many months, had been shattered
from its foundation, and needless to
say, now am embarrassing posts
and stones about the campto show the
world how great and neat l really am
at camouflage!
But to come back to more pleasant
things. hear the sweetest call of
all blowing no, it isn't revelre or
taps, nor the "call for the sick, lame
and dozy," but it's "CHAW." Pm
going to eat. So with an ocean of love
am your son,
SAILOR BILL.
o.