davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
A FIELD NOTEBOOK
WHY is IT?

That they always send you coolies Of ar
tillery gloves from home the minute you've
been transferred from the artillery to the
motor transport service?
That. right after the distribution of Gig
arettes from the company fund, you get
slathers of 'em from home-whereas you
hadn't had a butt of any kind for month
before?
That, after you've been promoted, you
can't get any chevrons for month and
half to show your pals who you are?
That, just after you've gone out and
bought pair of puts your own, the
supply sergeant takes it into his head to
issue better ones than those you purchased?
That just after you've done your own
laundry, at the expense Of parboiled hands
and broken back, payday comes along.
bringing plenty of laundry money with 1t?
That, after you've taken one OF those
billet baths in a mess tin, you find out
there are perfectly good shower-baths only
a quarter of mile away, and that they
were there all the time you were wrestling
with the sponge?
That, after you've paid 100 francs to
French dentist to go over your teetn'
regimental dentist arrives in the town VINO
would do the whole job for nothing?
That, just after your barrage OF letters
to a girl back home has begun to take
effect and her replies are becoming better
and better with each succeeding mail, you
suddenly discover that you don't care about
her at all?
That, on the very night that you decide
to skip mess and buy feed Of your own,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

ated from you. He wore, if his practice
Afforded it, frock coat and glasses and
spats and all the other emblems of gen.
tility. If he was young doctor, he
didn't Young doctors are lucky to be
able to wear anything.
But, no matter how formal his appear
ance, the doc was usually polite and
kind. You stated your ailments, helped
out now and then with an encouraging
word, with an expression you had for
gotten, but which helped to explain your
case, with kindly smile that heartened
you to go on.
"Um!"
Cunt" the doctor would say, stroking
his facial landscape gardening, when you
had concluded your tale Of woe. "That's
too bad; quite too bad. Let's see what
can be done about it. You had better
lay off for couple of days, at any rate.
Take this prescription and get it filed
and administer one Of the tablets inter-
nally every hour and three-quarters,
varying them with the powders l will
also prescribe for you. Then, about
three days from now, you might come in
and see me again.
my impression is that you are rather
badly run down. You must have been
overworking. Take it easy from now on
Get plenty of sound sleep, and eat regu-
lar and wholesome meals. A few days.
rest, in an even temperature, ought to
put you on your feet again."
But in the army? You know the song
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

come in, you tell him-that is, as much
as he will let you. It's never very much.
In short, in the army medical prac-
tice you are adjudged guilty until you
prove yourself innocent. To prove your
self free from blame for having contract
ed what you have. you have to answer
such questions as:
"Where were you last night?" "What
have you been eating?" why didn't
you change your socks when you came
in?" "How long have you felt that
way?" "Why didn't you come in beforsT
(You want to say that you didn't dare
but dismiss it as sounding fresh
where do you feel it,"
The cross-examination over, you are
handed over to an orderly for your =.
C.'s or iodine, as the case may be. You
feel low and miserable, and altogethef
you look forward to day in quarters
by the old stove, resting up and getting
into shape. But on your way out you
glance over the clerks shoulder at your
company's report And there, opposi1s
your name, are the two worst nasea
words in the army: Light duty"
Light duty! You know mighty wen
what kind of work your Top considers
light duty. With heavy heart y0u
snail your way back to the Tops on'es
to get all that is coming to you, trying
to hum as You go:
you're in the army now,
You're not behind the plough;
You'll never get well, on this side q ~
You're in the army nowi" s
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
the cook dishes out xesa steaA,. fr1eds and
apple pies
HOW PUDGY LIKED IT

Fair, fat and past 40 is this secretary
of the Red Triangle. Has the smile that
won't come off. Every doughboy within
miles around the hut knows him and likes
his CHEEKY personality. That is why, per-
haps, the opportunity came Pudgy's way last
week to spend q night lin front line
dugout. While he was there deafsning
barrage rained around the dugout for . full
half an hour.
Every one wanted to know afterward how
Pudgy liked it.
~ fear" he confessed, and the everlast-
ing smile broadened as he spoke. shat I'm
no Drawer now than before. Maybe I'd bet
ter 60 up front some more and get sort Of
used to it."
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

He sends out his company clerk to
find non-com of sufficient presentable-
ness to take the sick report up for the
Skipper to sign. After about half an
hour spent in the search the non-com
comes back and reports that the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

thing about a too ALFRED sick list for
the outfit, he puts down your name.
Then he proceeds to eat up alive the
other unfortunates who have answered
sick call. If any of them survive, he
puts down their names, too.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

CHEEKY? OH!
1t used to be "the gin mill" back in I'll
ole N'Yawk;
He used to lap 'em up with side-kick "Bo,"
But since he's lit in Frawnce it's quite a
different line o. talk.
He pulls above his wang blang "Sheerio!"
He struggles with briquet as he lights
casper" lean
And airily describes the bloomin' "show"
Agin the stingy bar Of some estam,anet
old beam,
And instead of "How!" he toasts it:
"Cheerio!" A. Mex
After the Salvation Army had given
certain company some cocoa the company
advanced successfully against the enemy.
After the war the S. A. will be justified
in telling folks how many miles the bows
got to the gallon.
The long-range guns batting average
for the last few weeks is about 900.
1t seems to be popping up to the in
field.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

EOORSCORE fathers
u liberty and dedicated to that Mnenare aahde
and
dedicated canlg endure We battlefield Of
Atfed final those who here
altogether and should
ecanntc The
The world will little remember forget
The living dedicated here
thus far b advanced Its rather for be here dedicated
from these honued dead increased o last
highly these dead
dhao,e
people shall not perish from the ABRAHAM LINCOLN
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

Member going to see the doctor in
the States? Not cheerful performance
at best, was it? No? But going to see
the doctor-beg pardon, the lieutenant
or captain-in the army in France is
something else again. Voice: "You said
something thereby
Back in the States, getting in to see
the doctor was as tedious process as
going on guard. You were ushered in by
darby boy in a bartender's uniform, or
by nurse in black gown, white apron
and cap, into sort of receiving room
where, amid the files Of all the defunct
magazines from the Martin van Buren, to
the first Cleveland administration. YOU
sat in solemn state and awaited the
ordeal.
On the wall above you was that pleas
ing picture by Mr. Rembrandt, "The
Autopsy" with all those leering Dutch
medicos in their black campaign hats
squirting impolitely at the innerds of
very defunct Dutch gentleman. Ugh!
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

Poor Fish-The gink who didn. know tho
war was over in Russia.
Poor Boob-The Ash whose pack comes
undone on the hike.
Nut-The poor cheese that goes out and
does setting up exercises by his lonesome
without being told so.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
WARTIME SEE-SAWS

The Tommies describe those big belts q
steel that are sawed in alf to make arched
roofs for dugouts as elephant iron.f The
French gamin describes them rs "reckers.'
Whenever two youths Of France discover
one of these half sections on Its back with
the ends sticking up, they balance plank
across it and merrily proceed e. see-ssw.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

There was, as usual, the talk about the
long range gun. One of the disputants,
also as usual advanced the theory that
when the shell reached certain height
it ignored the power of gravitation.
"Sure," said the skeptical sergeant,
'like the colored guide down in Virginia"
"Tell u.s." said an obliging private,
"about the colored guide down in Vir-
GINA"
WELL" said the sergeant, "this fellow
was sitting on the seat of his victoria in
front of hotel. A stranger happened
along.
"'Drive yo' all out to de pet'fed forest,
sah?'
"'What's the petrifed forest?' asked
the stranger.
"'Why, ev'thing pet'fed. Trees, ev'-
thing. One place where bird was flying
f'om tree to tree, an dat bird jes' pet'fed
right in de air between de trees"
"'How could that be? The power of
gravitation would prevent that
"'Wha's at, sah?'
"'The power of gravitation'
ayes, sab. Dat OF gravitation, sab,
dat done pet'fed, too.'"
The second lieutenant wheeze is get
ting as numerous as Ford stories used to
be two or three years ago. To COM
ment to this effect a second lieutenant
said: "Well, all right. Maybe we're the
Fords of the army. We give the best
service for the money, at that"
At the hour Of bayonetting to press
the Giants were still so far ahead that it
looked as though they would again get
second money in the world series next
October.
BLESS HIM!
A man we like
Is a certain Sarge;
He furnishes
A rhyme for large.
What will be in the peace compact it is
hard, at this s. of the g., to forecast; but
the guess is hazarded that this proviso
will be In it: that If, after the war, any
body says "Potato" to German hostili-
ties will be considered on again.
SAYS THE BATTERY
We shot a round into the air,
1t fell to earth, we knew not where;
But later we were told, by Gosh!
That it had slain a hundred RocLes
FRENCH AS SHE is SPOKE
A word of praise
For Henry Moore
He hasn't yet
Said: "Bony sore!"
Also, please
Cite Johnny SWANS;
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
FAITH

heard the cannons' monotone
A mile or two away;
But in the shell-torn town saw
Two little boys at play.
From what was yesterday home
heard the cannons booming;
But in the garden / could see
A bed of pansies blooming.
Along the weary, dreary road,
Forspent and dull trod;
But in the sky of spring I saw
The countenance Of God.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
Into the Chamber of Horrors

After about an hour and a half the
.darky boy or the nurse peered out from
behind some folding doors and stage
whispered you to step forward. Your
hour had come. With last clutch at
your already overclutched hat, you
stepped into the chamber Of horrors, as
steadily as you could
At length, you faced the doctor. He
generally wore beard, in which to
staxs M u axcess microbes that eman-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

What will be in the peace compact it is
hard, at this S. of the g., to forecast; but
the guess is hazarded that this proviso
will be in it: that if, after the war, any
body says potato" to German hostili-
ties will be considered on again.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
The Listening Post
He never>calls
1t "Axeless Banes."

1t "Axelcss Banes."
At late hour last night the fapjacks
in certain mess we're heavily oversub-
scribed.
And now the boys want Shakespeare
in ragtime A corporal confides that the
troupe in his bunch are going to put on
"Jazz You Like It"
A SQUARE GUY
Freddie, old kid, take this from me
l know this world and what it's made
One on the square has naught to be
Afraid Of.
The German guns and bayonets? Nope.
Such deadly things need not alarm him.
Why, even all that mustard dope
Can't harm him.
He's just as safe in No Mans Land
AS in the Mississippi Valley;
Safe in all places on the Rand
McNally.
Once, in my trench, when things were hot,
sang as though my Jane could hear
me;
A rat came in and he did not
Come near me.
Wherever I may chance to be,
I'll sing few harmonic stanzas-
Upon the plains of Picardy,
Or Kansas.
Still of my smiling Jane I'll sing,
No matter where the fates may drop
me;
And nobody nor anything
Shall stop me!
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
BLESS HIM!

A man we like
Is a certain Sarge;
He furnishes
A rhyme for large.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

And now the boys want Shakespeare
in ragtime. A corporal confides that the
troupe in his bunch are going to put on
"Jazz You Like It."
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

At late hour last night the fapjacks
in certain mess were heavily oversub-
scribed.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

FKENCH AS CHE IT'S Spoke
A word of praise
For Henry Moore;
He hasn't yet
Said: "Bony sore!"
Also, please
Cite Johnny SWANS;
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16
NINE

Sir: How many times do you have to
land in the Listening POST before you
become an Ace? G. S. M.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1918-06-16

And there ought to be some decoration
for the regiment every one of whose
members goes through one day without
using the term "camoufage."
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19

ing himself and breaking the arm OF
his mechanician, C. A. Arens. Only
a moment before his wife had kissed
him good-by.
The young aviator was trying to
make a speed record in this flight,
which was intended to prove the
remarkable adaptability of Amer'-
cas- surplus war planes into every
day commercial use He started his
flight in an L. W. F. Model y. 0l-
plane, the weight of which with its
seven machine guns, fully loaded
with water, gasoline, ammunl-,
ti2n and armor plate was 4,137.5
pounds.
Adams was formerly an army avl-
alton instructor. During the U-boat
scare last summer he. with an army
observer, undertook. many hazardous
flights over the ocean off the east
eln coast Of Long Island ing land
reconnaissance machine.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
LETTER FROM WAR WORKER
Com municated)

While the people OF Alexandria
are contributing for the recreation
IF our men in uniform lei US not
forget Il little camp about three
miles frcm Alexandria where there
are two companies Of NJ. T. c.. 3l6
and 55: These boys have worked
faithful and steady for the past
three months. and have almost com
pleted the beautiful road between
Alexandria and Camp Humphreys. 7:
IS enc Of the best roads around this
section of the country. When their
days work is finished and they re-
tcrn TO the camp, they have no rec
reatiCn at all not even a music box.
Nov shouldn't something be done TO
help these young men enjoy them
selves after hard days work with
a pick and shovel? Mostly all Of
them are from western states, and
very fine young men, and there they
are camped back in the woods with
out even Il place to entertain their
friends. / really dent think tn"
people Of our city know where the
camp is. the people who have seen
This road that these boys have help
ed to build, will agree with me that
some kind of amusement should be
furnished these young men who are
far from home and their loved ones,
even if it be only a small victro!a.
1t Will not only encourage the ycung
men in The great work they are
doing, but it will be appreciated by
them also. and when they return 20
their homes, which we trust for their
sake will be soon, they can say the
people CT Alexandria, Va, did all III
their power to help them enjoy them
selves while they were doing their
part towards winning the war.
Trusting the people of ogr city vii!
wake up to the fact about this camp
md prcvide some amusement for
hon; which I personally know will
,e greatly appreciated by them.
| am sincerely, "a War Worker"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
BILL TO BAR GERMAN GOODS
Lodge Brings in Resolution TO PEN
aliZe Dealers in L. S.

A protest against the sale in this
country of German-made goods was
registered in the Senate Yesterday
By the introduction Of resolution
by Senator Lodge to impose pen
a!ty upon any person who deals IN
such articles.
The resolution provides that the
sign Dealer in German Goods"
shall be placed over the entrance to
every place where goods. wares or
merchandise which are in whole or in
part the roduct Of either Germany
or Austria are sold or displayed. The
same capticn must be carried en- all
stationery and advertisements used
Nv the dealer. The ban would not
apply to goods of German manutac-
ture now in this country.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
SERVICE AT YOUR CHURCH TONIGHT
what sort Of church would my church be,
''If every member were like me-"
cnME AMI PIP INC ANOTHER 2P M
COME AND BRING ANOTHER

ago our national colors were given to
The breeze in Alsace-Lorraine, prov
inces wrested from France forty
seven years ago by Germany's iron
chancellor, and the Alsatians are over
flowing with joy.
The swoops of the American eagle
have been over extended areas dur
inc the past few years. Some people
are living today who remember the
time certain statesmen in the early
history of the United States were
content to allow our western boun-
daries to extend to the Mississippi
river only. Since those days our
country, like huge giant, has
stretched from the Polar regions to
the tropics, has crossed the wide Pa
cific. acquired the Sandwich Islands
and placed its foot upon the Phil
ipincs in far-away Asia.
In our day and generation the ma
tional colorS are flying in despotic
Germany. while Prassian militarism
is virtually no more, the naughty
attocrat of Kaiserism being a fugi-
tive and wanderer upon the earth.
The triumph Of right over might
is complete, and Liberty is dawnns
u;pCn the earth. Napoleon chuckled
at the sun CT .AusterlitZ, but a greater
than .Austerlitz is now in evidence.
Woodrow Wilson. the man of the
era, who has SO SUCCESSFULLY steered
the ship Of state during the past>four
wears, is 20 attend the Peace Confer
cnce at Versailles. Nearly CEN
tury and a half ago cur forefathers
at Philadelphia proclaimed all men
free and eqgal. This principle was re-
ceived then with smiles of contempt
by the crowned heads of the world
5u: the time. has come when our
Declaration of independence is she'd
ding benefc;ent rays over the entire
planet.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
DEFERRED ITEMS

The Board Of Censorship which
was established by Presidential proc
lanation October l.. 1917. was dis
continued last week At the Commit
tee on Public Information.
Mystery shrouds the whereabouts
of the depcsed King Ludwig Of Ba-
varia. No trace has been found a
to whittier he fed, according to Ma
nich dispatches.
The state councils Of Esthonia, Ii
vonia, Courland and Oesel Island
have decided to form a joint Baltic
state, according to a Riga dispatch
to Copenhagen.
= committee of the greatest citi
zcns of France has been appointed
to build a monument at the mouth
CT the Girondc, concentrating
Americas aid in the war. President
Wilson will be invited TO lay the
first stone.
The armistice terms imposed upon
the Turkish war forces in Mcsopo-
tamia, as officially announced last
week, comprise: /. Evacuation OF
the Musel Vilayct, ,. Surrender Of
artillery. supplies and ammunition.
3. British control CT Mcsuel. i. Evsc-
uation of the Caucasus and North
western Persia. ). Turkish with
drawal from Syria and Cilicia and
disqualification in westerly dlrcc-
ton. 8. Franco British occupation OF
AleXandretta.
Three men were killed Friday
in an explosion at the shell loading
plant of the Du Pont Engineering
Company at Penniman, Va. The ex-
plosion occurred in No , lange cali
Der line, and besides killing three.
several others were fatally hur..
The explosion took place in the
room containing extruding machine,
No. 2, which had just BEEN examined
by the supervisor. who had given the
foreman instructions to move 2"or
20 another machine pending sem"
repairs thereto. The supervisor had
barely left the room when, the eH-
Dlosion took place. The cause Of
he accident is unknown.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
THE CASE OF THE KAISER

A Washington paper recently in
,ited answers to the question What
would you do to or with the Kaiser?
Five dollars was offered as :, prize
for the most acceptable answer.
Many suggestions were sent in, and
the editor OF The paper has announ-
ced chat the following is the best Of
aIl. All who have read Hawthrone's
Scarlet Letter" will doubtless real
;ze hat the w:itcr who is believed
20 be u woman, ha SrcturEed the best
answer pf the question:
Let the ax-Kaiser be compelled
to wear SEINE distinguishing mark,
as Hester Pryne wore her Scarlet
Letter" Let him ccn,e and go as
he wishes. despised by and in fear
Of the nemes and avoided by any
who may remain friendly to him at
heart His only escape from this
would be voluntary exile. which
would be, in effect, life impr;son-
ment. during which he would have
plent; of time to commune with his
conscience"
The manner, in which the Creator
deaalt with the first murderer IS sug-
gestive The voice of thy brothers
blood crieth unto me frcm the
ground. And now thoa art cursed
from the earth, which has opened her
mouth to receive thy brothers blood
from thy hand: fugitive and a
vagabond (wandcrcr) shalt thou be
in the earth. Whosoever slayeth.
Cain, vengeance shall be taken on
him scvenfold. And the Lord set a
mark upon Cain lest any finding him
should kill him"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1918-11-19
MENACE OF BOLSHEvISM

"There is probability of extern
sive disorders throughout Europe
and we must stand On guard unit!
everything is settled" said Colonc.
Spencer Churchill, British
minister, on Sunday We
may need to maintain considerable
armies for a long PERIOD" he con-
tinued. disqualification will not be
rapid. The munitions firms every
where will carry on until further or
ders. The amistice may lead through
many thorny paths, and there will
be many months Of, discussion be-
fore final peace is signed"
The tide of BolsheviSm that threat
encd to food all OF the Euroear neil
trails appears TO have been stemmed,
for the time being at least.
In Holland the government
prompt expulsion of ali Bolshevist
representatives and agents nipped in
the bud the plot OF the reds" to
incense the populace against Queen
Wilhclmina.
In Sweden the democratic King
Gustav took the dilemma by both
horms, ccurageously faced the mu-
sic of the radicals and told his people
That if they wanted a republic and
proved this Will by q majority vote
III y could have IT, 4 general dem
ocyatization Of the Swedish sIffrag
and governmental systems is nov
under way.
Switzerland, f2r many months &
hCt bed of anarchist plotting, ref.g:
Of tcrrorists from European lands
o"ercamc the menace by prompt and
energetic steps against the niotters.
In Denmark the situation is still
obscure, but there seems no DANCE,
Of serious outbreak. Norway has
been little affected by the "!'ec
wave"
The latest country TO appear II
the news rs fertile ground for, Boil
shevism is. Spain. but there. tco. The
danger seems temporarily avertcd.
The situation in all these coun.
tries, it is agreed, depends mainly
upon what conditions the approaching
winter will bring forth. The focC
shortage is intense everywhere. Il
America the sane and moderate ele
ments Of the whole of Euroe look
as the saving angel from ANARCHY
and civil strife.