The Prescott daily news., 1918-04-30
YOU POOR FISH AL.
By RING W. LARDNER
In Camp, Feb. 15.

In Camp, Feb. 15. Friend Al:
 Well Al l am sorry to hear about you getting milked out of that monoy but still and all you should ought to be thankful they didn't get you for the whole S1O0.0O instead of just $6O00 and I don't see how anybody only 1a wit could invest 1b of their saveings in 6 gag like that and if a man really did invent a maggot that would draw boats up On top of the water they could sell it to President Wilson and Frank Daniels for a tril. lion dollars cash money and they wouldn't have to hot foot from house to house like they was trying to pedal ball bearing potato peeler or some thing.
 But listen Al if I was you l wouldn't 80 hireing no atty. and try to get your money back because that would be just like throwing good money after bad money as they say because by this time the guy is probable hldeing n Russia somewheres and has growed a beard so as he will look like every body else ana even if you was to go over there and see him you wouldn't know for sure if it was him or Keren- sky or this here Don Cossack.
 But instead of that Al l would just forget it and if you want to keep the U boat elevator stock or whatever you call it for souvenir why O. K. but you better do something with that other $50.00 before somebody else comes along and sells you q season ticket to the post office and if l was you Al l would do what told you to do last fall and that is buy one of these liberty bonds with the S50.00 and if you had of took my advice you would Of sank the whole S1OO.OO In them last fall and now you wouldn't De crying over sour milk as they say, put you would have safe investment that you don't only have to think about 1t twice per annum and that's when you go to the bank and collect the int. money and the int. money Is money you can spend on something you want and not something you got to have, because 1t comes like kind of bonus from the govt. for helping them out when they needed it.
 Buying liberty bond Al is some thing like buying a ticket to the ball game only they's whole lot of diff ference. When man buys a ticket to the ball game he is helping to pay the ball players their salary but he don't get no pleasure out of thinking about that but all the pleasure he gets is setting up there and watching the game and if his team has a bad day and he Is disgusted with them he cant go down to the box office and get his money back and if he even asked for 1t he would be lucky if they didn't bust him in the jaw. And of course if it's a good game and he en- joys 1t he don't want his money back and wouldn't get it if he did.
 But when you buy liberty bond Al ' are helping to keep Uncle Sam's play CTS from starveing to death and you also know they will be up on their toes all the while and doing their best and you know your team Is going to win, and then after the game is over no matter how much you enjoyed watching your team win, Uncle Sam refunds your money besides giveing you int. on it all the time he has got 1t. Can you beat that Al? I'll say you can't
 So don't be a sucker Al but take my advice this time and get hold of one of these bonds before the wise alecks hogs them all and don't throw away that other $50,00 on a patent electric flee chaser or something
 Your pal,
 JACK