Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-01-05
Her EXPLANATION.

den."
"Yes, but you know he has been
ordered to France"
why didn't she wait until he re-
turned%
"And have him get wounded and be
sent to hospital and fall in love with
q Red Cross nurse and marry her?
She is too smart girl to take any
such chance as that"
A PATIENT says he is troubled
with cracking sounds in his knees. He
wants to know how to prevent them.
We would imagine the surest way
would be to stop knocking his knees
together.
THERE have been inquiries as to
the whereabouts of Pat Grove. The
last we heard of him he was flying in
the direction Of Washington. mas
much as there have been no disappear
ances OF the sons of millionaire faith
ers since he left us, we must take
1t for granted that Pat is sticking
close to his new line Of endeavor-
that OF attempting to convince the
government that it should open the
doors Of the prisons of the nation and
train those birds physically fit for SER
vice at the front in Europe. Which
offers a suggestion that might afford
the American government an oppor-
tunity to enforce reprisals against the
Germans. The latter have been Or
dered by their commanders to steal
everything In sight in invaded terri
tories. If we threw several thousand
crooks into the front line they might
outshine the enemy In his taking ways.
Street Car Comedy.
II see Jones has gone to boarding
gold"
II hadn't heard that. What's he do
ing now"
"He has taken Job in bank"
A YOUNG man at Waterloo, Iowa,
remarked that "85 per cent Of the
American soldiers are BUNS" He was
painted yellow from head to foot and
turned over to federal officials. 1t
might not be bad idea for every COM
munity to have containers filled with
yellow paint stationed at convenient
places about the city. Every now and
then one hears an utterance that would
justify the treatment that was accord
ed the young man at Waterloo.
YOUR pronunciations of the much
discussed word descriptive Of visual
deception are all incorrect" postcards
Pansy. "The correct way to say it is
camofooling."
WHAT has become Of the old-fash.
toned girl who volunteered to play
something on the piano for the en-
tertainment Of rcother's company?
BILLY Sunday Hits Kaiser in Me
dinah Temple."-Headline in Daven
port Democrat. The latest from tn,
bedside Of the patient is that he i.
doing as well as could be expected.
WHAT most folks admire about Mr.
Hoover is that he doesn't permit con
gressional. catechizing to interior,
with his attention to his governmental
duties. Manifestly the bombardmen
thus far directed at him has been fo
the studied purpose Of causing hin
to go up in the air. But Brothel
Hoover is not an aviator. He ha
been on the ground every day sine,
he was assigned to his work as foo,
administrator.
DIR. William Law, formerly the kai
ser's family dentist, is visiting hi
home in Flint, Mich. Since the Unite,
States went to war with Germany tn
doctor appears to have lost his pull
in kaiserland.
THERE are those insisting tina
General Bliss be retained despite b
} has reached the age of retirement
} Dropping him would be taking som
Of the Joy out of the army, so to speak
comments L. NJ
} IT now develops that Kerensky wa
not acting on his own initiative. H
was taking his orders from a secon
party. Probably from his wife, VIII
formerly was an actress Which lead
to the suggestion that she made
poor actor out Of her husband.
1T is claimed there are thousand
of empty stores In Berlin. Perhaps /
is the result Of local option election
EVERY soldier at Houston, Texa.
is compelled to get his hair cut ono
month. 1t is presumed that bal
heads are exempt
EDWARD s. Emo, superintendent q
the Borden Milk company at Elgir
was a witness before the Chicago mil
commission inquiry. Judging by fh
data that he presented one imagine
= that nos HIS business.