The Washington herald., 1918-07-31

The first conversational don't is
don't talk about yourself. Don't Ie-
cite the litany of your likes ard dis
likes. Don't repeat what you said
to Name and what Name said to you.
Don't tell the story of your iifs Don't
recall your adventures when you
went on your last vacation and some
thing almost happened to the railroad
train or tell how you would ia re been
run down by an automobile IL the
driver hadn't stopped just in time.
1t is blighting blow to our vanity
to realize that not a human being on
earth. except, perhaps, our mothers.
takes the slightest personal, interest
in what has happened to US, nor yet
wants to hear about II. II yyu wish
to get a line on just how thrilled
other people are over your personal
narratives. reflect upon your own
feelings when you have to spend two
or three hours listening to the jr sAry
autobiography of some other utterly
common place person.
The second conversational lol't Is
don't talk about your family. People
take even less interest in your
brothers and sisters. your cousins,
aunts and little nieces and nephews.
whom they have never seen and
whom they pray to heaven they will
never see. than they have in you.
Bores there are in plenty. but the
greatest among them all is she who
tells perfect strangers all the de-
tails of her Aunt Maria's second
husbands cousins stepdaughter's
last illness. and how she left her
patch work quilt to her cousin
AIMS Lucinda when everybody knew
they ought to have gone to her
brothers daughter Hannah Jane. or
who draws upon a never exhausted
stock of anecdotes of the cute
things that her little sisters and
said and did. Family chronicles
are dreary stun even for home con-
sumption. 1t is sheer brutality to
try to force them down the throats
of innocent and unoffending by
ISLANDERS.
The third don't is don't talk about
your ailments. OF course. the real
compensation Of ill health is that
it gives the sufferer a perfectly fas-
cinating subject to talk about, while
an operation sets one up in CONVEX
sation for life. But, as you are
strong, be merciful. Just try to re-
member that you are not the first
and only person who ever ran a
temperature, or wrestled' with a
trained nurse. or had an appendix
taken out. or was told by a doctor
that yours was q most remarkable
case. and that you would have died
il he hadn't done SO and so Just in
time.
Most OF US have been in hospitals,
and all of us have listened to in
valids and semi-invalids monolosue
about their symptoms until we were
filled with q burning and passion
ate regret that they hadn't passed
away while under the influence of
the ether. Just remember that no
body cares anything about the state
of your liver. your heart or your
lungs. except yourself and your doc
tor. and the doctors interest is
purely mercenary. Therefore keep
silent about them in general COM
pany. When you must talk about
your organs, tell it to your physi-
clan. He is paid to listen and will
charge it in the bill.
The fourth conversational don't
Is don't tell your troubles. Nobody
wants to hear about your griev-
ances. Nobody wants to hear your
hard luck tale. Nobody wants to
have your grouches and complaints
unloaded upon them. Nobody wants
to hear all the details Of your quar-
rels with your friends, or to listen
while you reel of the dreary story
of your fears and worries. Every
body has got their own share of
misfortune, worries and glooms to
think about, and II doesn't add to
the cheer Of the occasion to have
yours saddled on them. too.
You often hear 1t said that when
people lose their money they lose their
friends also, or that people are
dropped by their acquaintances when
bad luck comes their way. This is
attributed to greed and selfseeking on