The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-07-04

Piled: "Ties the ribs to the backbone.
An Emmett man, who admits thaf
he was a contributor to the Busch
fortune in the heyday of its accumula
ton, say Uncle Sam is welcome to hi.
share of it now, and hopes that he viii
use it to the best advantage in licking
the kaiser.
When one doctor doctors another
doctor, does the doctor doing the doc
toring doctor the other doctor like the
doctor wants to be doctored, or does
the doctor doing the doctoring doc
tor the doctor like the doctor doing
the doctoring wants to doctor him?
A girl complains that since the folks
cleaned house last spring she can't
find her last years bathing suit any
where. Did she look in the jewel box
on the dresser? That's where the
folks generally put little trinkets they
llnu Wnlie ClcdnluS HOuSt.
The hot weather inspires some beau
tiful dreams. gardener believes he
has discovered lotion which will
make cut worms lose their appetite
for vegetables and eat nothing but
weeds.
One cold and wet windy night a
farmer came upon negro shivering
in the doorway of an Atlanta store.
Wondering what the darkey could be
doing, standing in such a draughty
position, the farmer said. Jim, what
are you doing here?" "Scurse me,
sir" said Jim, "but Pm gwine to sing
bass tomorrow mornin' at church, an
| am trying to catch cold"
The following is a tale now in cir
showing the quality of the
mud in Flanders at the present day.
A soldier walking along a road no.
ticed hat, which he attempted to kick
out of the mud. What was his sur
prise to find head under it, and to
hear a voice calling for help. When
the man was extricated, he said 81
was on horseback" SO together they
to dig out the horse. The
horses mouth was found to be full of
nay taken from wagon which has
sunk still farther down.
"Some people," remarked Old Bill
as he took bite out of
'ope of Honey Dip, consider the rat
hasn't got much sense, but they're
wrong. For instance, once | saw a
mother place her year-old babe in
'front.' of the cottage to sun himself, |
md to keep his spirits up, she gave
he little chap big feeding bottle of
milk. AS | watched | saw rat
rec up to the child and my heart was
n my mouth. | feared for the baby. |
But, bless you, the rat was only after
he milk. He just slipped the teat out
# the child's mouth and into his own,
md then thoughtfully put the end of
lis tail into the child's mouth by way
# comforter"
1t was an Idaho minister, of coursc. |
gho asked the question of his congre-
,ation: 81 would ask everyone who Is
till able to pay his debts to rise from
is seat" The whole congregation
rose with the exception of one man.
he parson then asked that all who
'ere unable to meet their bills should
Use Thereupon, the aforementioned
olitary individual got up; a hungry
boxing poorly clad man, whose fea
ures revealed the terrible struggle of
ne fighting hopelessly against the vi
issitudes of the world. "How is it, my
riend, that you are the only one
mong all these people who cannot pay
our debts ?" "Sir," answered the man,
81 am a publisher of
ewspaper, and those who rose just
ow are my subscribers; and" But
ne minister interrupted hastily by
aying; LET us pray"
Z z q
A negro stevedore assigned to the
reat docks in Southwestern France
ad written several letters to his
lack Susanna in Jacksonville, Fla,
hen she wrote back saying: "You-
Il don't nevah tell me nothin' bout
e battle a-tall. Tilda Subjects Dave
one wrote her all about how he
etched two Germans all by hisself
nd kilt three mo- The stevedore
as reluctant to tell his girl that he
as doing manual labor and that his
MY accouterment was the tinware
ON which he ate his war bread.
,lum" and coffee. His reply ran:
Dear Sue: De battle am going on.
~, ,yo,,lJ faint r. I tola ,,o,, do full