The Belding banner-news. (Belding, Mich.) 1918-1973, 1918-11-27
KAISER BILL
ANSWERS HIS SONS
LETTER OF COMPLAINT
THINKS AMERICAN FIGHTERS
JUST HORRIED FROM WAY
CROWN PRINCE WROTE.

Kaiser Bill finally got around to
answer the letter which the Clown
Prince wrote him and which we pub
lished in this paper some weeks ago
and we herewith publish it as near as
we can to the original letter.
NY Dear Son: l chust received
your letter und it finds me sick in der
bed NIT nervousness, our family doc
tor has der same sickness, SO dey
called in Yankee prisoner vot claim
ed to have been doctor in America.
never herd Teller talk such fool
ishness. He told me my nervousness
was caused by cold feet. don't see
how dat could, be-, for my feet sweat
derribly, anyway / told him maybe
better mama should nit me der voolen
socks, den he showed more ignorance
by delling me dot it wouldn't do me
any goot to we're voolen socks. /
wonder vot he meant, he lated ven he
told me dot. Anybody knows dot WOOL
keeps out der cold. have heard of
dot place dey call Oshkosh. 1t is
fiddle blaze in Wisconsin Wit only Won
store und a saloon, nodding there but
Indians und cowboys. Vot you tell
me about dot Teller saying ITO hell
NIT der kaiser" is awful. vod not
UellGNt IL IL IL Ildu IlOt OGCH IOlu W niC
by my son vot / taught to be honest
tink he effer read my speeches, he
probably could not read Won, if he had
it, for dere is only about one per cent
of der Americans dat can read und
dot one per cent got der education in
Chermany. WIN
will send you dem breast plates for
der back, you did not say how long
you wanted DEM Don't you tink dey
should come down about eight inches
below your middle, for you can't tell
vot dose uneducated Yankees will do
II your back is turned. Dey have no
regards for international laws, look
vot dey are doing NIT our U-boats, dey
sink dem without warning, und dey
are % cowardly dat dey use dem
shotguns. Who effer hear Of ding
like dat! You can nefter dell vot
dey are going to use next, Won of dose
loafers got into our trenches Won night
und killed Won hundred of my brave
soldiers shust to get q pair Of boots
dot would fit him. Did you hear
about dat?
Do you call dat fair? You neffer
hear Of . German doing q ting like
dot. Den dey we're dose gas masks
chust like dey vas afraid to show der
face.
Now, be careful. mine son, ven der
ID any fighting keep in der rear. Did
you effer find oud how all dose YAM
KEGS got here? ! asked Won linden
burg und he didn't seem to know. As
soon ~ you get them all licked let me
hear from you at vonce. From your
ladder,
Der Kaiser.
p. Shine tear SON, by de time you
get dis already I viii pc somevere
else yet, der devil nose we're und don't |
care less. We hat been having Won
hellovazeit on account Of de foolish
dropping papers on
telling de peoples dot dey
wash chust as gut ass We are. Don't |
dey knows any peter yet? Today |
vun off dem schlippery Americaners
walked into Berlin und pulled our flag |
down unit put ret unit white striped |
sheet in its blaze yet. He sung
Something's about "Spangled Bannas'
vile he was doing it und also make
diranny tremble.' Owing to de fact
vich our army bass not yet reached
home, We could not capture him. pc ,
cause he slapped de policeman's fac
es unit made dem cry unit he got away,
alreaty. Hurry yet NIT mine army
because it looks stormy like donner-
pretty quick unit If We can't
whip dem foolish AmericAners wot
ion't know holdings apout var, maybe
We can hold off de folks here in Per-
lin until We will be safed yet. Vots de
matter NIT de army, hat dey run out
Of sauerkraut? Goodbye,
Fadder.