The Washington herald., 1918-05-20

'T never have forgotten, Margie."
wrote Dick-and I read that part OF
the sentence, little book. in which
Dick began to describe his senss-
tions on viewing our first living
quarters which l had arranged soon
after our marriage. Then I stopped
to think about the wording of the
phrase-"I have never forgotten"
was the way he put It Anyone
who was not perfectly sure that
life was over for him would have
written Il shall never forget"
AS 1 read it came to me again
that l was at once the mos: privi-
legged and the most GnhaTpy 0f
mortals. was seeing a human
heart beat through the convoluti ions
OF a human brain devoid of the least
consciousness of self. This might
have been the most interesting
thing that had ever Come into my
life had not that heart and brain
belonged to my husband and lhe very
fact that he was able TO write as he
was doing meant that he knew he
was facing death and even the min
utes spent in this "trying-to-make-
me-understand" brought that death
nearer by hours.
The more / read Of Dicks manu-
script the more ] want to live the re-
mainder of my life simply and sane
ly-the more l want to. bring u
Dicks child to be honest not only
with others but himself.
l would almost be tempted. little
hook. to give you to the world and
lot nthaTz fhnN- would IA IA
you seriously as what YOU arc-the
gropings of a human heart TO Eher
human understanding
Comparing what / have written on
Your pages. little hook. with what
Dick has written in his manus cript
one sees after all that werlich and
poor. refined and vulgar, ignorant and
educated-have the one great longing;
the wish to be happy. And because
We want happiness so much ourselves
We sometimes try TO confer the price
less gift on others. But when II
comes down to the question Of our
own happiness or the happiness OF
some one else. at the expense OF our
own, very few Of US have the strength
to resist our own selfishness.
Taken broadly, a mans idea OF hap
piness means active pleasure. and a
woman's idea of happiness is quiet
content.
Dick. even when he was at the very
gate of eternity, hardly sensed this.
as you will see. little book, as you
and ] read on together.
81 have not forgotten the surprise
with which / viewed our first little
nest which you very aptly named a
little place called Paradise
''oh, my dear, my very dear. how
young We both were. Each looked
upon that place as a dream come
true. That your dream was not quite
like mine was the serpent that final
ly destroyed the Eden.
Il know now that you expected that
little place to be the big part of our
llives. That all the business. all the
life outside. were to be only the
extraneous things. that one must live
to keep the other life a pure and un-
defiled tribute to our love.
ITO me, of course, being a man, and
filled with a mans inherited and pre-
conceived ideas of ambition. playing
the game with my felow men. meant
the big thing. / meant to have money
and power. Home and you were only
part, a small part of the happiness
l intended to grasp and hold.
''Of course did not know all this
then. did not really stop to think
Gbout IL. No man does. 1 simply
worked on selfishly. ruthlessly. as all
men work, to get what 1 wanted at
the time I wanted 1t Ito paraphrase
the old comic opera ditty.)
"Margie, We were both selfish, but
will say this for you. my dear,
yours was the larger. better selfish
ness, for 1t embraced at least a
thought out plan that included more
or less the happiness OF others be.
side yourself.
"while my selfishness was like that
Of most Of my sex. in every pleasure.