The Washington herald., 1918-01-16

A pile OF coal these days presents
about as much temptation as a pile
of money. Coal is scarcer than
money. Therefore. II something
valuable is to be stolen. it may be
coal.
Monday afternoon Joe Harris,
driver of a coal wagon for w.
Eugene Myers. left the yards of a
wholesale concern with two tons
OF coal for his employers yards.
When he drove up to Mr.. Myers
place the load was 1895 pounds
lighter than when Harris left the
wholesale place.
1t looked suspicious The coal
certainly couldn't fly away. the
wagon wasn't on fire and was a
cinch the wind didn't blow it away
They searched Harris. No it
wasn't in his pockets or under the
wagon seat. He must have sold it,
they said.
Harris was arrested. He told the
court that he didn't take a full
load. But several people swore that
his wagon was loaded to capacity
No one knows where the 1,O95
pounds of coal went. But there
are no doubts about where Harris
went. He went to Jail for 30 days
and must pay a fine of $50 in the
bargain.
His Weighty Crime.
"Jedge, Nah husband hit me with
a hatchet. All kept telling him All
! was no large Washinton cherry
tree. but he kept on hittin.'
What did you to to make him hit
your" asked the Court of Eliza
Smith, complaining against Barry,
her hubby.
Jus plain oneryness Jedge." an
swered Eliza, wen eber dat man
thinks he needs exercise he Gums
aftah me an beats me up"
ledge Yonner," piped up Barry
does All look like All would hit NAH
! wife? All only weighs 40 en- she
weighes PSI pounds"
The whole thing started when
Barry sneezed in his cup of coffee
Eliza called him down for having
bad table manners.
Barry grabbed the first thing in
sight, a hatchet. He broke the handle
over Eliza's head. She yelled until
the neighbors called a cop.
II Eliza had only known il, all she
needed to have done was to have
grabbed Barry and sat on him. That
would have cured him for life
At least it would have squeezed all
the cruelty out of his system.
But now the family exchequer is
$40 short.
Impatient Eddie.
A week ago Edward Gill. then living
in Stamford. Conn. decided to visit
his mother in North Carolina.
The last named State is the driest
place in the world. And as much as
Ed wanted to see his poor old mother.
he didn't want to choke when he got
there.
So he supplied himself with an ir-
rigating material and started out
On the way here, Ed got soused. He
took so many nips from his bbttle
that he didn't know which way he
was travelling.
He lost track of his suit case. He
picked up someone else's. He lost
that. Then he picked up another one.
The first thing he knew the cops had
him. And in Baltimore, in an oasis,
ist was iOl WIN IdICtHN .
The Baltimore court saw that he
was picked.
At the Union Station our own Shcr-
lock Holmes nabbed him. He was
sober now. but he had only been
loaned to the Baltimore police.
The court here followed the idea of
the Baltimore courts. Ed was paroIed
under suspended sentence and advised
to stick to his moor old mother down
in the desert.
Bye, Bye, Charlie.
Charlie Talbots mother sent him all
| the way from Massachusetts, to Wash
ington to go to school
She intended that he should learn
something useful. She had no idea of
! what he was really going to study.
From someone or other Charlie took
freshman course in burglary. He
had almost graduated into the sopho-
more year when he cops got him.
They found that he had swipe6 al
most 500 worth of personal belongings
| from the other students in the col
lege.
OF course his folks were Door and
couldn't very well supply him with
luxuries like other boys mothers did.
80 he chose the easiest way" to get
what he wanted.
For a nine-days' wonder there was
no woman in the case. It hadn't gone
that far yet.
Charles mother came on after him.
She was willing to take him back home
and whale him good IL he repeated the
offense.
The court consented to let Charlie