davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
GARFIELD, THE GOAL MAN," LOOKS
OUT Of CLEAR LIGHT BROWN EYES
AND SAYS, WILL TAKE THE BLAME"

want to take tt On his shoulders to
admit he waa even consulted"
We'll gentlemen" replied DR.. Gar
nel3 calmly, III the order is not
popular / cannot help that. 1t was
the only thing TO be done In the
emergency. / with take all the re-
spcnsibiI.ty and condemnation for the
order, But ss soon AS people realize
why IL was necessary. you will md
q different. spirit or course, ! CON
tereated but / will assume all the
burden OF blame myself"
Frankly, DR. Garfield was the only
rnan that day who was willing to
stand up and face the music Others
were predicting that somebody had
10 be made tho goat" Maybe DR.
Garfield has been made the goat;
but II so, IT Is safe TO predict that
he Is going 10 be about the toughest
horned goat anyone ever tried 10 ride.
he had the courage to do come
thing drastic--end that order has
been the means OF releasing port
bound vessels with thousands OF tons
Of supplies for the allies The whole
msHs OF transportation and delay OF
supplies came Gown to the simple
toe~%tFi ~ AAtheAtE AAailNs j mere was
a teu-mile belt Of freight all along
the New Jersey waterfront and at
many of the waterfronts along the
Eea board. Little coal was going into
the bunkers of the allied ships be,
cause 1t could not be forced through
that belt of freight Coal cars were
laden and lying on the tracks for
miles back from the seaboard other
cars were being moved eastward and
ihir med up against the crush, making
II all the more impossible TO move
the coal DR.. Garfeld applied TO the.
situation the moet fundamental prin-
cfple of traffic reIief--he removed the
pressure al the neck of the bottle. the
freight belt being the neck. Az New
Hcrk's surface trolley traffie Is con-
troHed by the triple crossing at Her
AID square; and Ms the subway move
Usnt Is controlled by the cruah ut
Grand Central station, so the whole
urux Of the coaling congestion lay
Ia the impossible freight belt
Dr. Garfeld's suspension order re.
moved for i've days the urgent as-
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
NV u. NJ. EDWARDS,

ashing1on. Fet, What man
neg Of man Is thie DIR. GARFIELD. no
teus lis we shall not burn coal on
Ard who says, Can't help #; lt's
rot 10 be done; viii take all the
responsibility"
Nave ycu ever seen General Leon.
ara Wood with his iron, square Jaw,
bread. powerful shoulders. standing
straight, his arms at his side, as II
awaiting The first move of deter
gutned offensive attack? Have YOU
ever noticed the calm. penetrating
glance that eeeyns TO measure minute
" the situation ahead? Have YOU
ever observed the broad forehead,
perfectly free Of wrinkles, in critt-
raj emergency
II YOU have, then you have before
90 a typical mental picture OF Or.
Harry A CARRIED the fuel admin
is4rstor. There Is only one striking
difference. General Wood has a clear
blue eye: DR.. Garfield has clear
light brown eye. The two mon are
~ ,ut the same age; about the same
height and about the same build and
with very much the same voice--a
strong voice under pressure. but nor
rnhily SIN tooth flowing and nodolated.
Perhaps the best Illustration CT DIR.
Garheld's character was given the
day after the fuel restriction order
went into effect A storm OF cr.ti-
cIsul and condemnation burst from
all quarters Of the country affected
hy the regulation, Everyone was
svadinE responsibility; not a mem
Der OF the. cabinet would say Il was
a good thing or a bad thing some
high ofYicials who were directly con
cerned skilifuily avoided taking any
position that would leave them open
70 criticism. In plain words. every
one was passing the buck" Some
even wsrs saying that somebody has
got ~ be the goat for the tying up
OF fuel food, munitions and trans
portation."
Or. Garfield was approached by
group nf perhaps fifteen men, plying
him with various questions, more or
siesx impairment and pertinent
Who lie responsible for the order Z"
- was asked, no ons seems 70
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
BY @. CIANEARRA-

Rome. Feb. with the arrival in
Rome OF the permanent commission
OF the American Red Cross society
the relief work among the destitute
population OF the Eternal city begun
by the emergency commission under
Major Carl Taylor has received a new
impetus, and viii be continued with
out interruption TIL the end of the
war. And. IL necessary, as already
seems to be the case. for eny length
OF time after the war
The fact that tho American Red
Cross has decided not to confine it's
charitable work to purely military
hospitals and kindred institutions,
but extend IL to the civilian victims
OF the war Of many large cities and
rural districts, has attracted wide
spread attention is being favorably
commented upon, while the Whole
press has bestowed unreserved praise
on the commission for it's work aim
ing at alleviating suffering among the
families OF the men In he trenches.
Speaking of the commissions mis-
sion in Italy, one Of the high officials
Of the American Red Cross who was
FOR years engaged in settlement work
IN large New England ctv and Is
now entrusted with the work among
the civilian population, ga d that iust
now relief work in some rural dis
tricts and in the poorer quarters of
the large cities is more urgent than
work In military hospitals.
when the question OF sending a
permanent commission TO italy, as we
had already done for France. came up
for discussion this Officer said, the
directors OF the organization were
fully satisfied that the sanitary SER
vice of the Italian army was among
the hest developed by allied nations
during the war; that. according to re-
ports received from medical commits
sions that had from time to time
visited the Italian front, the sick and
wounded soldiers were being taken
excellent care of. and that the per-
centage of wounded soldiers who re-
turned to the front compared favora-
bly, with the claims of ahy otner
allied sanitary service. Under the
the directors OF the or
thought the American
Red Cross would send some of It's
units TO the front. but il would at
The same time extend its relief work
TO the civilian population. whose suf-
fering was then reported To be quite
Intense owing to tho rapidly increas-
ing cost of living and the scarcity OF
many necessaries of life.
The sxasilsnt results In the work
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
NOSE CL0GGED FROM
A COLD OR cATARRH
Apply Cream In Nostrils To
Open Up Air Passages.

Ali What relief! Your clogged NOS.
triis open right up, the air passages of
your head are clear and you can breathe
freely. No more hawking. snuffling,
mucous discharge, headache, dryness---no
struggling for breath at night, your cold
or catsrrh 10 gone.
Don't stay stuffed upi Get a small
bottle of Eiy's Cream Balm from your
druggist now. Apply little Of this
fragrant. antiseptic cream i'm your nos
trils, let It penetrate through every air
passage of the head; soothe and heal
The swollen, inaamed mucous membrane,
giving you instant relief. Eiy's Cream
Balm 10 just what every cold and ca.
ttarrh sufferer has been seeking. rs
Just splendid.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

nessity OF forcing coal through 10 the
factories. The government has been
oversuppAed In some essential war
equipment. The relief was almost
inFta taneous. and, even in the face
or the worst weather conditions the
Eastern railroads have seen in years.
rehef is already being felt.
DR. Garfield comes from Hiram, o.,
where he was born October II, 1882
He is an A. b. OF williams college
Is LID. of Princeton, Dartmouth, Am
herst and Wesleyan. and practiced
law In Cleveland from 1888 to 1903.
Ho ~aa president OF the Cleveland
chamber OF commerce and the Mu-
nioipal association. He was presl-
dent Of Williams college. He Is a
specialist in organization and control
and loae made coal ana railroads a
study for more than twenty years
He has two bows IN the army. one
IN France ana one in cantonment.
awottius word TO 20 over.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

destruction Of old women. old men.
and little children. for which the
squeamish have so severely criticized
me, ! am but carrying out hlB noble
policies for the benefit Of the whole
human kind"
Captain Kidd reaG the above care
fully, and with a boa ming smile
he turned 20 tho angry Hun.
why. my dear old boy" said he,
what IL there In that for You to be
angry about? / should cay that was
tribute rather than "a slam"
Tribute nothing" retorted At
adulterated lbel--that's what it Is.
and I'm not going to stand for IT, I
have retained the firm os Coke.
Blackstone and Lycurgus. 20 institute
suit at once for libel against Jim
Boswell for printing such disgust
Ing stuff bout me Things are get
ting so here In Hades these degen-
crate dsys that nobody's safe. nobody
ia allowed anv private life; one may
be pure as the undrfven SCOT ana
not escape calumny."
but don't see--" began R1dd.
scratching his head in perplexty.
"Of course you don't returned
Attila. but you'd see quick enough
II IL RAs you instead OF me ne Will
ten about. Come now--let'a suppose
similar case with you as the hero
instead of ma. You were pirate.
were you not7''
"Ubetcha"' cried Kid6, toyouEiy.
Il was the dsndiest little old buo-
cancer that ever sailed the sea. What
old whiskerando Van Dyke was to
portraiture that was ] In the gentle
art OF sending millionaire sailors back
To the land to begin all over again
Why. Att" he added, ella piping his
hand TO his dirk handle enthusias-
tically like the kaiser / don't want
to seem boastful, but by lingo, old
Scout, it's nothing but Neptune's
truth that even the sharks used ia
follow NV ship around the world Just
for the pleasure OF seeing me work"
81 know" said Attiia- Your rec.
ord il perfectly familiar to me, and
It was the best OF its kind ] some
times think that as out-throat you
had me skinned sixty ways for Sun
day, But TO come TO the point---gTip-
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Permanent Commission of Red
Cross Doing Great Work in Rome

done In this direction by the emer-
gency commission, which was dis
patched to Italy as soon as 1t was
known the extent of the reverse at
the front. confirmed the permanent
commissions belief that work In the
back lines and in the cities is what
Is atually needed, and Colonel Perkins,
head of the permanent commission
VIII develop II as far as the means
placed at our disposal will permit.
Amba ssador Page AZ fully in sympathy
with this branch of our work, and has
promised to us his ileartiest co-opera-
ton"
For the present. and until the per-
sonnet OF tho commission has famil-
Iarized itself with local conditions. the
work among the destitute population
OF the capital is being carried on
through the existing Italian organiza-
tons for the assistance OF the poor.
These organizations have agreed to
call the attention of the American
Red Cross to every case deserving
special attention, a speedy investl-
cation on the part OF American Off
Gals follows and then help in a liberal
measure is given.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

and proud of It. I went the limit. I
left scars IN my tracks that appalled,
the Furies themselves. When 1t came
to pure pitileSs pillage 1 had Molock,
Anthropophagus Blue Beard, Belize
hub and old boy Bellal himself dashed
to the mast. Messalina was a lady and
Nero movie idol alongside of me.
was a glutton for rascality. II ever
a loose fish SWAN in the sea, or n
harry flew in the air, your old pal
Att was it. Malevolencs was my mid
die name: arson my JOY, ferocity my
twin But
That's what I've. been waiting for"
said Kidd; knew there'd be a BUT
butting In before long. But what
out with it7''
'T NEVER WAS A HYPOCRITE"
said Attila. What I did ! did to
crafty my own lusts and passions
II i skewered a baby on the end of
my pike-staff did it for the pleasure
of hearing him sQueai, or seeing him
squirm. / NEVER PRETENDED I
WAS DOING IT AS THE 1SSTRU-
MENT OF GOD. or for the BENEFIT
OF SOCIETY. Murder, arson, rape,
mayhem? SUREI + revelled In 'em.
They were to my life what hors
doeuvres are to a nifty cent table
d'hote. / was a scoundrei. caitifH
ruffian, bully. and british beast
but / never stayed safely at home in
nice warm steam heated palace nine
ty-seven miles from the front, kidding
the world into believing that all my
barbaric savagery was the work OF
Seraph of Light sent to lift fallen
world up out OF the pit OF degeneracy
10 perfection. I may he ATTIIaA.
Kidd. but by the living lingo. I'M
NOT PECKSNIFE!"
1t was at this point that the con-
versation singularly enough was in
terrupted by the offending editor him
self, James Boswell, who came rush
ing excitedly into the room.
Save me! Save mel" he cried. the
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

ture and the piratical schemes of
CAPTAIN Kidd is so clear that"
STOP RIGHT THERE" roared
Kidd, brandishing q dagger over At
tila's head. You and / have been
pals for many a long year. Att, but
l want to say before you go a step
further that shall consider even the
supposition of such a case deadly
insult
well, there you are!" laughtcd At
tia. Il don't blame you
You'd better not blame me-" said
Kidd quivertng with wrath. The
very suggestion that bad as 1 was I
could ever consent to such petty
meauness as to rob the poor and af-
tiicted in any such paltry fashion as
that makes my blood boil
Sure it does" said Attila, and now
you know how l feel when Jim Bos-
wen ltkens me to Kaiser William"
20, but it's different Ia your case"
said Kidd. You must admit that as
pillager you were a pretty slick
article. Att There wasn't much In
pure thuggery as an art that you
weren't up on. and generally over the
! top with. II you. didn't smash a few
Rheims eathedrals 1t wasn't because
you didn't want to but because there
weren't any Rheims cathedrals to
smash. When it came to making
fire insurance policy look like thirty
nine cents in counterfeit money you
didn't have much on Bin Hohenzol-
lern you know. Anything that would
light you lit You had n way with
you that would superinduce heat in
q modern steam heated fat. AS
coal conserver you would have been
Garfield's Joy, because you shovelled
pa laces, and public libraries, and pri-
vate dwellings mo the furnace, whom
ever you felt your feet getting cold:
and If you'd been hanged for just one
minute TOR every human being you
caused to he buried before his time,
you'd have been hanging Yet
Granted said Attila. Granted,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

celestial heights of spiritual covering
down behind Attila.
Save you from WHAT" growled the
Hun. cycling the trembling Boswell
ferociousIy.
But the answer was not needed.
Hot on Boswell's trail. equally ex-
cited, and his face flaming with wrath.
came Benedict Arnold
Where In the hound---where 10
he?" he cried. rs Boswell here7"
You can search me-" replied Kidd.
! TIN not Jim's keeper. what's thu
trouble?"
I'm going to pound him to a pulp,
I'm going to cut him into ribbons"
said Arnold. brandishing a revoiu-
tiorfary sword over his head.
But why?" insisted Attila. drawins
his robe across the shoulders OF the
covering Boswell. to hide him from
view
He likened me to LaFoliettet~
cried the angry interloper.
''Hai" said the Hun. He aid. did
he? Well, that's too bad, and Ira
sorry for you-bat ne lilsened me to
the kaiser, and all 1 have to say to
you, sir. is that when you get through
with him | wish you would send
what's left of him to me by parcels
post. / have n sulphuric geyser tn
my back yard just waiting to give
fellows of his sort a pleasant little
shower bath. He came In that door
way over there--but I didn't see him
go out"
Whereupon Benedict Arnold started
OF in hot pursuit, and Attila. lifting
his robe from the covering Journal
list, sat down and roared with laugh.
ter.
Jim" he said. shaking his finger
at the quiverinS biographer, Stand
up, and stop giving US fool frntta-
ton OF an earthquake. II you weren't
an immortal ia kill you for what you
said about me in your lbeilous old
sheet. but since that can't be done
I'm going to let you off altogether,
not because l forgive you. but for the
pleasure 1t gave me to see how per-
fectly you had touched that pikar.
Benedict, on the raw. Murdsrers, piir
layers, rapers. huns, vandals, thugs.
hooligans and what motif we dig
deep enough sometimes we can find
some good In them. but In HYPo-
critics and TRAITORS9 Never,
You may go. but / warn sou here and
now that II you ever mention me in
the same breath with any of that
Potsdarnned outdt agsin---weli. count
on me for some new and highly Teu-
tonic REFINEMENT in the line OF
reprtsai"
And before you CO." said Captain
Kidd, sraspins Boswell by the arm
and whirling him around, you ana
l might also understand each other.
IL you want TO keep that thing you
call your face INTACT. Jim. Just don't
mention me in connection with this
war at all. Something tells me that
you have a paragraph quiverinx some
where In your old cerebellum that
connects mo up with old Won Tirp,tx.
ana i want to tell you now that the
day that is published a well-known
spook famous for its observations con-
corning the ways. habits, manners.
and lack of manners, OF certain DIR.
Samuel Johnson will be found lying
fiat on it's nose at the bottom of thu
bottomless pit with fifteen-ton
dumb-bell tied In q bowknot around
Its neck. Seer"
And Boswell saw, which In pohahtx
one OF the reasons why that psrttcu-
lar paragraph has never yet appeared
In the Gehenna Gazette.
The title of the next story I'm this
series lat "Noah and the SubxnarincsLs
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
CT.rTR TRUCK MEETS
TRAINS FOR SOLDIERS

Indicative of the splendid spirit with
which the people OF Richmond meet
the soldiers and sailors who visit the
city during the week-ends. large
truck hired by the Brotherhood OF
Saint Andrew met each train yester-
day, and at each trip returned with
load OF more than a dozen boys in
uniform, These boys were entertained
at the club, which was maintained by
the organization.
The usual Saturday night dance
was given at the club. situated on the
corner OF Franklin and Seventh streets.
and in charge of the Richmond war
camp community service. The dance
was attended by hundreds of the boys
from the camps and training stations
and large number Of the young la.
dIss ct this city.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
cor 0REn OLD FOLKS
HOME NEEDS HELP

Al appeai has been sent ont bv The
Afro-&inerican old Folks Home Of
Richmond for funds to carry on the
work Of the institution. The home
was established 10 care for such old
and worn out members of the eolored
race as are unable TO provtde for them
selves. No charge whatever Is made
TO the inmates. Hence the mainte-
nance OF the home Is entirely chart
table.
The home ts located al Ills w, Moore
street j. G. Randolph is the presi-
dent OF the1hstitutlon All donations
70 the capse should be sent 10 the
above address.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Wen, well, well roared captain
xida. rs he entered rhe library Of
- a,,,,~.. -, ~, 49,, svxyv ara .v~oe+ .
"a Att'&' XII" sun Nu' "As 80
IN ore corncr OF the room FippiHg
his fsvorite tipp!s o. vvood-zlcohol
-. -. err :. s..., rood
o6a Att "haf fHN Tiaier' e'a
mar vow look iitc che rloc17 trust
when r-r- ra,faFt stvht nf Won
,. 1870 , ,s
ara hsf Ffsio6S e. TF rain
ON look ~o hta~E-
.tvr-c,t nh. sAs.,l4-.. goo. .r,.s,-,-
-
"a .%''''S' N''" &'" f-o"
Hecsn s8' 0la f0H. Er.uIc3 tle
captain vnu~ reign e. over ,-sur
sr,,r. - ~ a., -,. ~,t-,r.r-u --,.,.
'l!ph me sur. IAN
. 4e'. en- 'N' that
re pai e. ~ faHn Eif5"asN upon
ne "TNt page 81 ne - henha ga
&Sue' VIZ cs'Ee WIN headlines
l we me- a. gr0SeA sCa reheao pat
- '"P''11'' f>iio Ieaa 0le follow-
worthy son Oh n fnmous Hun
uti4 arc &" inc erect that Kaiser
""!+efi fne u mas taken as his
'.1'"Naei 4" me SAVAGE forms OF warfare
- AZ N"&iHs on the women ana chil~
t1'eH q eAFth MS predecessor IN Pill
saR". Fe'rr r. AttHs, ha1-, formerly
u hunF neon Jhe~spree ara now
q proih'heht resident or HaoeH, nose
VINO nave 'otiowed The courses OF the
TWO dlStlnsaished potentates hnd an
aSfasizahstF coihplF'e psFal!ef between
fhe INFAMOUS cord0ct 81 the two
men ahd recent interview grant
90 the Potsdam correspondent OF the
sfasette ~ the present bead OF the
German empire would seem to in
ofcate ihFt mo similarity fs not
mere accident bHt matter or pre-
Tnedttatea choice on the part CT the
res%ntus sovereign.
IS said the kaiser, as he
wrarleuslv received your correspond
art IN the dark room where he was
having hiS 1a4% Fash light taken, Il
am perfectir willing 10 admit II. At
tia IS INV great exemplsr. They say
) aYa cone slted sni regard myself
as tho great originator of all the tru-
II progressive movements of my
time when SIS matter OF fact there
never has been n Bl recorded his
tor. more modest mSu than My
seif--pf!nt that Myself with a capital
II. please like the @ In 6ott---nor a
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03
RICHMOND SALESMAN
TRIES TO END LIFE

Especial 10 The Richmond virginian.)
Charlottesville. Va. Feb. &C. w.
Rucker. OF Richmond. n travelling
salesman. who came here q fortnight
ago to arrange for the exhibit of r.
w Wood and Sons, Richmond seeds
men, at the Virginia Corn Show. tried
to end his life, last night. at a local
hotel. With a pocket knife he badly
mutilated himself and came near
bleeding to death before he was found
by the night clerk. He was rushed
to tho University hospital, where az
operation was found necessary to save
his life. His uncle is at his bedside.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

of war charities. from which he is
deriving huge profits at the expense
or the alleged beneficiaries thereof
Several individuals have just been
indicted by the grand jury OF New
York for pocketing the bulk of the
proceeds OF the recent army and
navy bazaar at which $4,000 was
received, and from which the bone
siciarfes got less than $3.50. The
parallel between activities OF this ma
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Chicago. Feb. Closing prices
for hogs today were soc higher than
last Saturday when the best choice
hogs could do was $3.50. The bear
raid was checked by moderate re-
ceipts, The advance has been chief
ly due TO the short receipts during
the week and break Is looked for
IL the normal supply comes In next
week; The local run today was post
ed at $4,000 with mparatively few
reported at other western points.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Cincinnati. Feb. at win aeefr
rest with President Wilson whether
Robert Paine Soripps. son of the mil.
iionaire Ohio newspaper publisher.
shall be exempted from military ssr-
vice. Scrfps was placed In class 4.
division A. which Ia that of a married
man whose family is rot mainly,
dependent on his labor for support
under the QUESTIONABLE plan BY the
district draft board.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

pose that old jackaSs Boswell were
to print a story on his front page
something like this for instance:
Captain Kidd in Harness Again.
Recent pcws from the upper
world indicates that Captain Kidd
has returned TO earth again and re-
sumed operations. although this time
the buccaneer ia not flying the black
flag upon the high seas, but Is doing
a land -oh1ce business as g. promoter
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Song of the Sock.
Time was sea ling up the ladder
Was the way he did his bit;
Now the fireman, grown much sadder,
Sits him down, alas, 20 knit.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1918-02-03

Copyright 1917 by The Mcclure cw4poper syndcate)