The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-09-10


open wide the Abcess and Drain
the Pocket Book
DIR. Wilson, in what region in a
patient is a swelling the easiest for
a Doctor to treat?"
Ans.-In the region of the pocket
book"
How would you treat it,"
Ans.-"Apply a counter irritant."
What would that be-"
"a Doctors Bill'
CDR. Haddock, why is a hollow
tooth like a dentists pocket book?"
Ans.-"Because it has a cavity that
needs filing
CDR. Smith, will you please relate
an anecdote giving the latest method
of removing adenoids?"
"Alberts mother takes beard
ers. One of them met the little boy
on the street during school hours and
asked: why aren't you in SCHOOL,
The teacher sent me home said AL
bert. She says I've got adenoids,
and they'll have to come out; mother
says she hasn't the money to pay for
it but DR.. Jones boards with us, and
guess we can get him to eat them
out"
"Dr. Yevington how would you
treat pyorrhea and dental caries?"
Ans.-"Kill the Germans, clear out
the she'll holes, cross the Rubicon and
liberate natures allied forces for re-
pairs and victory"
"Dr. Simmons, how would you
treat slackeritis?"
Ans.-"Inoculate the Stacker with
patriotic serum, give inta-veinous in
fusion Of German antitoxine, fill spin
al canal with sterilized extract oil
American manhood, and inject into
the fourth ventricle of the brain the
concentrated active principle Of hui
man liberty
IF this did not cure your patient
then what would you do next?'
Ans.-"I would deport him to Hun
dom and send him to the hot region
with the kaiser"
AT this juncture Mr.. q. ". Rugs
was called on for song, which he
rendered with excellent effect, III
burden being particularly appropriate
to the occasion.
The main topic for discussion hav
ing been designated as the Health o.
School Children" some of those pres
ent were called upon for short talks
hearing on this subject. DR.. } A
Simmons, of Arcadia, president OF TN
Association, responded to the sub
iect Of the Relation Of the Physician
to the Health of the School Children
declaring that children should hav'
the benefit of the services OF schoo
MUSICIAN, employed at the pubic ex
nense. to correct the defects that fire
ouently hold them back in their stu
dies and which in most cases ar
easily remediable. DR.. Haddock ex
plained the relation of the dentist u
the health of the school children, AM
Mr. A. ]. Holworthy told What Ro
tarians Can Do for the Health o
School Children. DR.. Ceaee,a tor
merly a teacher, discussed the "Hela
tion of the School Teacher to- Tn
Health of the Children" from Tn
teachers standpoint, and he declare
that the crux of the whole matter Ia
in the fact that teachers are undcrpai
and therefore use their professio'
only as a stepping-stone to some otn
or ayocation. If teaching could D
made a life avocation, with adequat
rewards, so that the teacher coul
spend his years in that profession h
could familiarize himself with Tn
problems of health and sanitation l
the great benefit of the pupils.
Lieutenant Metz, of the Unite
States Public Health Service, who
located in Lakeland for the purpose Q
making a study of malaria, particular
Nv in relation to its being caused D
mosquitoes, expressed himself as sal
isfed that there are neither mosqui
toes nor malaria in Lakeland, but tina
this is good point to work out fro
4,,1,,;rg thasp nests He Statl