The Washington herald., 1918-08-02
By DMc


recovered from the effects of in
haling a Chinese dinner. served in
Chinese style in a chop suey cara
vansary. Except for a few delu-
sions of persecution and an inclina-
tion to bloat at the sight of food
/ am almost normal.
Nearly every week new and
mammoth Chinese cafe makes its bow
in the gastronomic belt. People are
spurning regular he-food, such as
corn beef and cabbage. for chow
maine and the lechee nut. No one
seems to know why. but the Chi
nese cafes are doing the largest vol
ume OF business.
The Oriental eateries are owned
by a syndicate and each new one
appears more ornate than the other,
There are soft lights that come and
go and Chinese music to add color.
The first thing that was brought
to us was big steaming platter
composed, / believe, of odd bits of
linoleum. a few business ends of
discarded toothbrush and a moth
eaten toupee. Speaking for myself,
l am of the conviction that toupees
should be worn and not eaten. The
whole mess was garnished over with
axle grease and tasted like the
thumb section of motorman's
glove.
After that they brought jugs of
tea. brewed in Hades and much
hotter. After one swallow a mem
ber of party unwittingly gaIloped
down the stairs and pulled a fire.
box. He returned in time for the
kom-quots. I do not believe / will
ever care for kom-quots. / think /
could go for days without eating
them. These particular kom-quots
1 am convinced had given up the
ghost long before we entered the
war. There was an effort to give
them a touch of life by a syrupy
concoction that might be all right
to- rub in the hair. Nothing will
stop badness anyway.
Some prophet has said this war
will be won on our stomachs. II Is
my opinion that IL we continue to
eat Chinese food we might as we'll
begin speaking German. After be-
ing filled with Chinese food, one
drifts into a sort of hazy phantas-
magoria. I remember of seeing one
OF the Chinese dragons on the wall
leer at me. I was inclined to leer
back-but after all a dragon is a
dragon.
The manager OF the cafe spoke ex-
cellent English and was a bland sort
OF gentleman who had eyes like oys-
tiers except when it came time for
paying the check. Then he beamed.
He told us he paid his chef So 900
a year and confided confidentially so
he could not be heard further than
the next block that he received SIS, 600
year.
New York has been honoring
Julius Rosenwald this week. He is
known as the richest Jew in Chica 60
with an income of 100000 a year
He arrived in town wearing a Y. NJ
c. A. uniform with the Red Triangle
on the sleeve. He in no way re-
nounces or departs from his Jewish
faith. He goes because his creed now
is service to his country and because
he believes the Y. NJ. c. A. is the most
efficient agency. He will sit as a
Y. M. c. A secretary in a hut some
where in France. He brought his
mother. to whom he is devoted, to
New York with him. She attended
all Of the affairs given in his honor
and sat at his right. She is a little
old-fashioned woman and in the early
days had to exercise strictest economy
to keep the family from want. Re
memoering those days, she told New
York reporters that she had never
gotten used to seeing her son give
millions away as he does. 1t always
takes her breath.
A New York magistrate, bored by
the excuse of chronic oilers that they
are berry pickers and the like sud
denly exploded the other day: After
a while would not be astonished to
hear some Stacker assert that he is
a professional remover of buds from
century plants"
One young East Side loafer declared
that he was assistant to a window
cleaner. What do you do?" asked
the court. "oh. I wet the sponge and
hand it up to him on the ladder" he
replied. He is in the army now.