The Washington herald., 1918-03-09
Empty Was Full

the same time?
He sure can. And this is how.
II happens that his name was Emp
ty-Louis Empty.
Louis was sta aggering down Penn
sylvania avenue. He stopped near
a sightseeing auto full OF people.
And being full Of booze Louis
thought he would show these visitors
a part of Washington that they could
not see from the auto.
"Looksh at me-" he gurgled, 'Imsh
the greatest speshimen of a Wash
ingtonian you eversh shaw"
You ought to be ashamed Of your
self" said a cop. who happened 20
come up at that moment DO you
want these people to think that Wash
ington is full OF guys like you?-
Welsh" gurgIed Louis again,
Amt full guy. Whatsh you talkin'
aboutsh."
You don't seem to have any self
respect at ALL said the court 70
Louis when he was arraigned.
''Oh yes. 1 have" replied Louis,
only didn't have II with mo when
I got drunk"
''$25 fine" said the court.
VIII They Ever Get WIset
walk into my parior. said the
spider to the fly"
The fool fly did and we know what
happened to him.
' This time the fly was George
! Baker.
J Converting himself into a watkins
saloon, George went his rounds
Thursday night, wishing for q good
nights business.
With ten half pints in his pockets
the poor fish walked up to a decoy
set by Sergeant Kilmartin and in.
q,uired If he would like a little drink
The decoy said yes. And ont came
a marked dollar. From this point or
Georges goose was cooked but he
didn't know it.
Like bolt out of the blue, KilInar.
tin walked up to George and said
You're my meat come along while
the coming is good"
The man almost tainted. II was
the worst trick he ever had played on
him, he said.
If George had sold his entire cargo
Of booze he would have made a pro-
fit of s..
But now the government wants so,
from him. And not only that-he
must go to Jail for four months.
If he hasn't the 500. he must serve
four more months. which is equiv
. alent TO getting paid s125 a month &c
stay in jail.
4 Poor Loser.
ledge, wen All cum FUN work
las night dat man was sittin' on
nnreh p-a o. -,
tolo him a million times dat All
was married. but still he hangs
aroun,
"Ah tole him right den en- dere
dat All would cal nah husban' en-
hab him beat him up. en- he said he
would chop NAH haid offen me-"
Margaret Cornwell was telling the
court about the antic of Joe Cleve-
land. her one-time beau.
1t was evident that Joe couldn't
ding to another man.
He still insisted that Margaret
belonged to him.
And for the past ten days he has
been camping on her trail.
Joe told the court that Margaret
sent for him.
Dul SAllNt huSDdnO lt
home most of the time il is hardly
probable that she would ask Joe to
come around.
threats of murder" the court told
Joe"
This woman has a right to live
her own life without you trying &c
/ worry her to death. Furnish a $500
real estate bond or go to jail for
sixty days"
Twice In the Same Place.
1t is said that a burnt child breads
the fire.
But it is not the case with Henry
ColwelL He seems to like the heat
Once before-about six months
ago, his pocket was picked of. 9
| whole months salary.
The court sent Eva Carlisle &c
Jail for three months for this Iittls
stunt.
And here is Henry back again
with the same kind OF a complaint
against the same girl
There must be something hypnotic
| in Eva's eyes.
Henry was standing talking &C
her last Monday night and without
a moments hesitation Eva agsir
Switched his roll.
| Henry didn't find it out until tn,
| next morning.
| And he WASH the least bit afraiC
TO go and complain to the sam,
| policeman to whom he told hi
| troubles before.
You knew what this woman was
| didn't your" the court asked Henry
"Yassir. All did" replied Henry
J but she tole me she dubbed me eI
she would nebber do anything IsI
dat agin."
Well hope that you have learn
ed a lesson this time. am. sat
isfed that you didn't the last time.
Stand up' said the oourt To Eva