The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-03-14
TALES OF TOWN

l. AILEO VI ~ w. IN
The theory that men are not wort
saving is very general.
q 4 z
The man who gets rejected no,
for army service probably won't liv
long.
One way to conserve the meat sup
ply is to let the pig make hog O.
itself.
Wouldn't it be fine if the old-old
fashioned pantalettes would come
back now?
Did it ever occur to you that the
battlefield of France rhymes nicely
with the kaiser's pants?
. z q
There are many good uses for the
flag, but subjecting it to the lips of a
disloyal citizen is not one of them.
= =
The kaiser doesn't want to take
anything away from Russia, but wants
to add to it. He wants to add "P"
to it.
"Looks like spring is just about
here" remarked Old Bill Misgivens
on Monday, "cause l notice my IA
are beginning to itch"
4 4 4
An Irish carpenter, yelling to a
fellow workman: "Hey, Mike, don't
come down on that ladder on the
north corner! l took it away"
The fur of a skunk is said to be one
If our best fur bearing animals. We
also note that the skunk is the best
advertiser among our fur bearing ami
nails.
'Does your son have to go to war;"
Isked one man of another. "Yes,"
eplied the other, meaningly, "but if |
lie gets shot he won't have to go to
ell for lying"
While the bone dry law experiences
slight leak occasionally in this sec
ion of the state, it has forced the
rice of drinking liquor up to Sc
uart. That's a big jump from "six
lll quarts of Old Hayner for $3.69."
4 z z
Three colored soldiers were playing
itch in trench. Sam bid one, Nose
id two, and Arthah bid three. Just
hen a big German shell came along
nd blew off Arthah's head. A few
sconds later Nose said: "Arthah
ire am lucky niger, for had him
It."
One of the town kids went to the {
Itcher shop the other day and called
IT nickels worth of round steak,
the story goes. Sonny" said the
eat cutter, "you don't get much
und steak for nickel nowadays" ,
don't want much,' replied the
agreeably. 81 just want
ough to make some hinges for my
'ghouse."
Charlie is simply wonderful" the
ide told her neighbor. Il never
canned that anyone could run a mo-
r car the way he can. We took
lie yesterday and went along beau
'ully in spite of the fact that he had
rgotten some of the machinery. Yes,
, had gone at least II miles before
larlie discovered that his engine
Is missing"
A colored soldier was doing duty in
2 trenches in Europe when he re-
we'd word his troop was about to go
er the top. He went to the lieu
lant and made the request he be
rmitted to take his razor. The lieu
liant granted the request. When the
Ter to charge came Sam unsheathed
razor, dropped his gun and went
sr the top with the rest of the SOL
RS. When he got over in the en-
US trenches big, blonde German
ne rushing at him. Sam made
ipe with his razor and then step
| back. The German also stepped
k laughing and said: "You never
ched me-" "Shake your head,
Ike your head" said Sam.
I'm old farmer attended one of those
fashioned shouting" revivals one
e. He owned rantankerous old
re, who, when she got excited,
aid try to tear everything to pieces.
went to sleep while the preacher
J preaching the sermon. Pretty
n an enthusiastic sister got to
ling good and began houncing
und and shouting. She foundered
against the old farmer who was
,ep. The noise awakened him and