Arizona republican., 1918-04-07
FoRp,s QUIPs AND QUIRLs

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 Brethren, never dispute with R. R. Conductor. In life's machinations we meet conditions and obstacles which can be mastered, but on train when brass buttons, glazed cap, and blue frock appear, you want to practice ser vitude and meekness, alacrity, and con- | descension.-As the Ash Fork train rolled rapidly CD past the greasewood hills, hummocks and wales, the gentle, quiet motion, Gan old stage was rock ing horse compared) waited me into slumberous dreamland. broken by a whack on my shoulder, followed by thunderous admonition from which 1 finally realized that ticket was de- sired:-- Stupidity is my falling | ''Wheres-your- ticket" he roared. Pocket Sir, I stammered.' Show up; "-"Yessir! Yessir!' I stammered: Click went the punch, and I fell back on cushions filled with thankfulness, until the thought struck me that I had bought a lay over at Prescott, so on MT. Conductors return I modestly mentioned the fact, with this result: You d. ignoramuses give a man more trouble than a cussing parrot at a home prayer meeting" Why didn't you say so before?" Please sir I forgot, but sir can I appease your wrath with this, l whispered, as 1 presented that | precious bug juice" which always brings delight to Phoenix tetotaler- | Have a sip dear fellow, with Georgie": Boys, 1 again put my foot, plump in it With peep and a glance-seemingl both, he stiffened his spine, and ripped out an oath, then shivered that jug, mid a roar of huzzahs, from imbeciles, wid- ows, old maids and grandma's, all seated in corners, and crannies, and l c yK-n I oh hox ing except their good looks;-Say, wasn't l drenched with that heavenly dew so ruthlessly wasted? My thoughts you'll cOnStrue. Why I paled in these cheeks like a white coated pill, in truth | changed so often, bright red was my gill; slunk down in seat, you'd have deemed me screw so helpless my frame, that l shook thru an thru, till nerves overcame me when rushing to door with bound, leap and yell out I fell rolling crisscross and o'er: My senses knocked out, I lay in a swoon, dismantled, disgruntled. disrobed, and distuned-had death only claimed me, I'd worship his saint who had grabbed my pure CD soul while I lay in that feint
 don't think it any use to enumerate, classify, or detail what's here for sale, for you don't appreciate bargains, or good material, and believe me things ARE good that leave this house:-YES, GOOD: never misrepresent, but when you pick some worthless cheap trash, l tell you, you're foolish. and try to forestall you.-but will mention few new purchases:
 Splendid Rotary Singer Machine, cheap.
 Three different size typewriters. Beautiful electric chandeliers. Ceiling electric fans, SIS and s20.
 Electric coffee mill. very cheap.
 Dayton meat slicer, $25.
 Fine rifles, shotguns, and pistols. Street camera and kodaks
 BanJos, guitars. mandolins, comets.
 Full set Brittanica encyclopaedia.
 Roll, flat, parlor or office desks.
 Music boxes from $6 to SIP. Handsome library tables.
 Electric carpet sweepers.
 Gents plug hats and dress coats. Mems nice suits of clothing.
 motor car engine, 40 H. P.
 Gasoline engine for pump.
 l. 4, + H. P. motors.
 Beautiful leather furniture cheap.
 Handsome wicker furniture cheap.
 Chairs, only 50 styles.
 You paid s3.25, same here $2.75.
 In beds. I am proud, bushels. In springs, stocks is over complete. Mattresses never had such stock.
 Short or long electric ceiling fans. A 300 ID. refrigerator, $10000.
 A new 200 ID. refrigerator $125.0O. 100 assorted refrigerators, all prices. : Some lovely buffets. Some beautiful dressers. Some chaste dressing tables.
 Some brilliant chiffoniers. A rooming house, large linen chest. ntf-ira l1IcI, tSr.r,<1 T-,c Cafe, pie, bread, meat, glass cases. Slab cafe tables and diners Large lot good cafe knives and forks. 2 Nickel electric coasters. heaters and irons.
 Want talking machine? Any price. : Remington typewriter and adder, s1OO.
 Typewriters from s15 to s25.
 Plenty fruit jars, now.
 Come and see our library tables. This office. long writing desk, cheap : Electric parlor chandeliers, very cheap.
 Our stock of gas ranges leads. it., oven, French range, $56. 1t. American range, new $75. !, All sizes kitchen ranges, $15 to s30. a Cooking stoves, cheaper than all t others.
 8 Gasoline ranges, oil stoves, ga. ] plates.
 ]. Harness, saddles, hardware, crockery < Pumps and pump jacks. Gasoline plant for cooking and i lighting. nn . Instantaneous water heaters. bath ], kitchen.
 5 Large stock of trunks, new or used.
 Bushels of grips. valises, hand bags i, Tubs, buckets, boilers, wash boards. Rugs you want--FVe sure got 'em : Every kind, price and design, just soc p on the dollar. ,, Builders want doors, drain pipe. wat. k CT pipe; come to Ford. He's got 'em. n You need shelving and counters n Ford.
 < A lovely tea tray wagon. mahogany h Assayers, grocers, butchers scales. p Large candy pot doughnut pot. \ Meat block. inexpensive. f Maple F circle counter for office. 5. DV dks uer Is c un-kh- 5sr; ( 1. Maple or brass beds. fine r Auto horns, lights and fixtures. = Water coolers, and coffee urns. :, Bedding and tents of all kinds. Il Carpenters tools, farmers tools.
 This is enough today: Keep in mind that Ford buys in small or large quan- T titles within 300 mile circle Spot o cash. Pays full value but requires this SA JoN- " Hcil coiie IL must pc yes Ol IT no-l will not give you estimates or if values Be your own judge. This hawk. n ing, Juggling, jiggering pigsering busi. ness don't go here. l try to pay pric, Y warranting investment, and a fah s. profit.
 ? Phone 1776 ', FORD'S STORES T 40 s. Central Ave. Il