Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1918-02-16
PAC|F|sT PROVES HERO
IN BOMBING TRENCHES
BiRfrteFs With West End Ideas Al,
ways Go TO Extremes, Says
81 Ikcy HONEY.
cHoKEs GERMAN TO DEATH
Drafted BIoke Throws Away Wcnp-
Ons Before Entering Hun Trenches
and Resorts to Usc OF Natures
Means for Personal Defense.
BY ARTHUR GUY EMPEY.
Author of "Ovcr the Top "ITirst

What do think OF a b!inkin' con-
scicntious obJcctor-' answered Likely
HONEY from tho corner OF the fire
bay. We'll. what with this bIoomin'
war on and blokes Eoin' west by the
thousand. pacifist or conscientious
objector is one OF two things. he's
either n blinkin' coward or bloody
pro-Germnn. But it's funny the way
some O. them bliEhters. with their
West End ideas hack in Bliehty.
changes their minda when they gets
out here in tho mud. and gets their
first glimpse Of a wooden cross. It's
either tirin' squad UP against q wall.
a bloomin' V. c. tNictoria Cross) or a
rest In peace eiSn over their nappers
for them. strange thing It is. but
true. those blokes never go through
the trenches in an ordinary way like
we do; it's n case OF extremes, no in
between stun.
Next time you're on a burial party
take q look at the third cross from
the left IN tho fourth row rs YOU enter
he cemetery. You know that path
that leads through the orchard just. or
tho entrance OF that big Il. j.. Roynl
Cncjncer) dugout: well, under that
cross rests bloke who back in
BliShty professed 10 bu 4 pacinst. He
wouldn'; blInktn' well volunteer. not
likely; they had to draft him. an when
they did he refused to fight. SO they
stuck him IN the y. G.. c. tnoncom-
blatant carps) and handed him a pick
and shovel md put him to rcpuirin'
roads and diEEin' graves. We'll. II
didn't take long before he was properly
fed UP with his job, and he threw
down the pick and shovel and grabbed
UP rifle an hayonct. oh, yes. he
clicked il all right, and went west.
In fact. he was buried in ono q tho
graves he helped 10 dig. suppose
some o those college officers called
Il the irony Of fate. or some other
hiink!n' sounding phrase. but we
knows that It was only common ordi-
nary luck cause we Mi knows that IL
you're coins 10 set it, you'll get il.
no matter IL you're II Sontlcman's son
or hloomin' chimney sweep.
This Brighter I'm talking about Was
n NY platoon when l WAS in C Com
pany, an he used 20 give ME tho proper
pin with his arguments against fight
it's and the likes q that,
TSs first time l met him was In ST
Armand. our bait was in the rest bill
lets sw2tti1' new draft before going
w ire line again. You SEQ. We had
clicked IL pretty rough e, fvcmcl!cs
an Platoon looked like :, hiinkiu'
SQUAD whsu i; lined up Cor parade. 1
Mss playing Aouse' IN that estaminc,
r=a: across Ircn: ira; bashed-in
oAW-ch or the corner when his labor
hStts.ion came through and took over
i-inet. WAS sitting near window
and watched 'hem pass. y sorrisr
SoccA oi specimens 81 rea. never
s"w; !: turned my hliukin' stomach 20
:cok al ,hem. what with their pas:y
faces stooped-ovcr shoulders and
struggling sai, E;gh, then and there
! admired ne Germans for their sys-
tSm Of universal military training. |.
England had Of had ii,,le more OF Il.
there never would have bean war.
and .ieh, now NC would I've in E,;snty
with our wives and nippers. instead
ct sitting here in these bloody bitches
w7iiiu for She'll 10 come over with
our naDc and number en- il.
TALK or CONSIDERATIONS
DIRECTOR RotSES IIl.:Y'S IRE.
After the labor battalion tool; over
hilicis, several OF them came in,o the
eSiaminet and. SAT at. a table near me.
They started q di.tusS the war and
: voice their opinions ahou, The top
Z hats IT home. This hloke I'm ;aiki1,'
about was tho Iovdcst Of the bunch. lie
'ccnod 10 have a Crouch on cvrry;hi r. =
in general listened 10 him few
minutes chucHinS his weigh. about TN
~ II bloody we'll Sot on my nerves
thucking up MY game az house-ard
had paid haIf = franc 10. MY hoard
too leaned over 20 him and said:
on must I've one o those bloc,nfn'
conscientious directors we reads about
IN The papers ono ~ those bli.hiers
who don't believe in nchtir', hut is
willing 10 SIT back in Biighty and Ia,
Us hlokcs out here do your bloody
hghun' Tor YOU. while you gets :.
h'tnk!n' good screw tsalaryD SITTING
on high stool N some cfice'"
He turned TO me and answered. I.'s
the likes q YOU WHO volunteered :o-
mis- war VIVA, keeps 1t Soin' !: you
had al refused 20 so ~ FIRST, there
wouldn't ne any war"
couldn't see il his way "a: all. and
went right bach a, him wi;h: Yes. and
II II wasn't Cor us Volunteering. The
bloody German flag would now bc ry-
ing over buckingham Palace and King
George would be IL the Towe. o.
London
hH ihousht minute or tvo and
answered Wei, what OF IL; one :a-
a. good a. another and as ,7- mo
bioonin' King, VIVA, did he ever -
foT YOU but make you pay taxes 81 te
could hloonin' We'll ST, around dong
nothing
FHEI TEACH PtCIFt>T
TO DRINK KINGS HEALTH
This was too much for me. ina,
hhnkin' jel'y'sh 4 Singing mud a, or,
KING so lost my tcmpcr, and ;aktnc
my glass Of Vim Rouge in my hand.
leaned over close TO him and SAID
When you mentions the Kings nam.
Ii is customary TO drink his health
Perhaps he never did anything s2sr,s
for me. but have never done any,hinc
special for him. and even at tina, Nv,
done damned sight more than 20,
have for him, so take this wine an,
drink his health or III den, ms
NAPIER OF yours so YOU won't hc ani
10 wear that lin hat OK You're
lie GOT kind OF pale and answcre,.
Drink tho Kings health. not likeI,
liza through him and his bloody To-
hats In Parliament that I'm out her.
why in tho blinking hell don't he d
his own fighting and let US poor bIol,c