Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1918-05-22
CHAPTER xVl-continued.

IL
81 came out with the first expedl-
tlonary force, and, like all the rest,
thought we would have the enemy
licked in Jig time. and be able to eat
Christmas dinner at home. Well, so
far, l have eaten two Christmas din
ners in the trenches, and am liable to
eat two more, the way things are
pointing. That is, If Fritz don't drop
n 'whizZ-bans' on me, and send me TO
Blighty. Sometimes / wish l would
get hit, because it's no great picnic
out here, and twenty-five months of it
makes you fed up.
ITS fairly cushy now compared to
what 1t used to be, although / admit
this trench is q trifle rough. Now.
we send over five shells to their one.
We are getting our own back, but in
the early days It was different. Then
you had TO take everything without
reply. In fact, we would get twenty
shells in return for every one we sent
over. Fritz seemed to enjoy it, but
we British didn't; we were the suf-
ferers. Just one casualty after an
other. Sometimes whole platoOns
would disappear, especially when a
Jack Johnson plunked into their
middle. 1t got so bad that fellow,
when writing home, wouldn't ask for
any cigarettes to be sent out, because
ne was afraid he wouldn't be there to
receive them.
"After the drive to Paris was turned
back, trench warfare started. Our
general grabbed map, drew a pencil
across it. and said, Dig here Then
he went back TO his tea, and Tommy
armed himself with a pick and shovel
and started digging. He's been dig
ging ever since.
"Of course we dug those trenches at
night, but 1t was hot work. what with
the rifle and machine-gun fire. The
stretcher bearers worked harder than
the diggers.
"ThOse trenches, bloomin' bitches. !,
call them, were nightmares. They were
only about five feet deep, and you used
to get the backache from bending
down. 1t wasn't exactly safe to stand
upright, either, because as soon as
your napper showed over the top a
bullet would bounce off 1t, or else come
so close it would make your hair stand
1--WE used to fill sandbags and stick
them on top of the parapet to make it
higher, but no use; they would be
there about an hour and then Fritz
would turn loose and blow them to
bits. My neck used to be sore from
ducking shells and bullets.
"Where my battery was stationed a
hasty trench had been dug, which
the boys nicknamed Suicide ditch
and. believe me, Yank, this was the
original Suicide ditch All the others
are limitations.
when fellow went into that
trench 1t was an even gamble that he
would come out on a stretcher. At one
time a Scotch battalion held it, and
when they heard the betting was even
money that they'd come out on
stretchers, they grabbed all the bets
In sight. Like lot of bally idiots, sew
eral of the battery men fell for their
game, and put up real money. The
Jocks suffered q lot of casualties, and
the prospects looked bright for the
battery men to collect some easy
money. So when the battalion was re-
lieved the gamblers lined up. Several
Jocks got their money for emerging
safely, but the ones who clicked it
weren't there to pay. The artilI ary-
men had never thought it out that
way. Those Scotties were bound to
be sure winners, no matter how the
wind blew. So take a tip from me,
never bet with Scottie, cause you'll
lose money.
"At one part of our trench where