Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1918-03-15

stone.
Don Marquis in New York Sun.
If YOU see the first spring robin
don't get angry when your friends
dispute YOUR word A citizen at
Lansing, Mich, didn't like the idea
of his acquaintances Gliding him
when he told them he saw one, So
TO furnish them proof he got a gun
and shot the robin. He was fined
$3.50 by the court.
A BARGE quantity of dynamite
has been found at the Hog Island
shipyard. There has been one ex-
plosion there, but another might
reveal the noses of a few of the pork
hunters we haven't yet seen.
JUST when we supposed that
Trotzky was headed SOr dear old
New York he bobs up again in Rus
STA and announces that he will OPP
pose making peace with the kaiser.
So it's up to Wilhelm to cross the
palm of the former Russ minister
once more with the filthy lucre.
THE only time that the crown
prince gets his name in the papers
is when he sends a message of felic-
itation for some German conquest
hundreds of miles remote from his
observation station. When he at
tempts a move against the enemy
under his personal direction the
best he accomplishes is TO have a
large hole shot in his command. If
the crown prince had been other
than the son of the kaiser he would
have been court-martialed and shot
long before this for his costly
laundering.
81 THOUGHT | had few drops
of German blood in my veins, so |
pricked my great toe and let them
flow out Now I'm ready to take
the oath" said William Strasburger
of Newark. n j. Acknowledging
the corn, so to speak,
AN egg may not amount to much
when the price per dozen gets down
to two bits. but when you are asked
to pay 65 per il becomes rather an
interesting article of food. At least
that is what the market reporter
was told yesterday when he was
started on his rounds for his Fri
day food story by the city editor.
A ST. Paul News woman's page
feature introduces itself with this
verse: Now mothers found anOth-
err way to help us win the war; she's
using tails of daddy's shirts to
make aprons by the score"
JACK Pickford is another actor
made of the right stuff. Although
not vet of draft age, he has enlisted
in the aviation corps. Evidently
he believes he can rise quicker as
flyer than as a performer before
the camera.
PANSY. from whom we had not
heard in more than week, called
over the telephone today. Il just
wanted to tell you that Mr. Fro
of Cedar Gap, Mo-, is in the veg
etable and fruit business
MUST Accept Delayed Eggs"
reads a headline. Not too long
delayed. we hope. says the New
York Sun.
THE railroad wage commission
expresses establishment that there
are American families that strug-
gle along on less than $500 pei
year. Well, the commission knows
the remedy. Tilt the pay envelopes
what they should in order TO live
like human beings.
MIRRORS. in world without
women, would become empty
frames says an eastern write.
We don't know about that Ever
notice the men who give them
selves the up and down in the win
dows as they travel through the
avenue?
BONAR Law says Russia cant
feed Germany, as there is only
enough food in the country for the
natives. But the Teuton will get
his first If there is any left after
his appetite has been satisfied il
will be divided among the Slavs.
CHICAGO is not to have a new
city directory this year owing 10
the Increased cost of production.
This will deny many folks their
favorite literary treat of the year.
ZACH Wheat has signed IN
again with the Brooklyns Until
his contract was received the other
day the fans had been predicting
that the team would have a Wheat
less season.
IF | had my way observes L.
W. they would all be IfghtIess
nights during the season OF show
ings of millinery and spring suit
ings. Then when wife and | went
to movie she couldn't halt before
a window and pick out a bill of
merchandise that would set me back
a hundred or so"
DURING the past wear. the
United States produced 2S4.O25.7 1913
pennies. And, by the way. Mr..
Baker is director of the mint. our
national dough man. as it we're.
AVIATOR Shot i'm Hotel -.
As general thing fVere ara chot