The sun., 1918-12-29
UNCLE JOE CANNON
FROLICS HERE AT 81
So Busy Enjoying Himself
He Can't Find Time
to Sleep.
SUBWAYS IRRITATE HIM
Can't Understand Why Broad
way Is Always Ripped Up,
He Says, Leaving.

The frisk!est young sprlg OF 50 that
has been seen around these parts for
many a Christmas left yesterday TO get
back on his nation saving job at Wash
ington. The name of this youth Is
Joseph Quincy Cannon. the we'll known
North Carolinian Ooh. yes, he was born
there) and perpetual Congressman
Uncle Joe had passed the holidays here
with his daughter, Mabel Cannon, IN the
Hotel Blltmore. but II his family saw as
much Of him as the reporters he might
just as well have been in Washington.
Knocking around town with cronies OF
his own evergreen variety. going from
Wall Street to the Waldorf bar. out early
and back late, Uncle Joe was the busiest
visitor New York has had In man a day.
Father certainly is a wonder his
daughter remarked patiently the other
evening after there had been n dozen
calls for Uncle Joe, who had lodged out
OF the house early in the morning and
hadn't been back slnce-it was then 10
L. NJ. HE Is always on the go, always
meeting some of the boys, as no calls
: them. who want him to go TO this place
or that"
May settle Down as He Natures.
Later on. when he gets matured. he
will settle down. suggested the reporter
for the sake OF Miss Cannon's peace Of
mind. Hes pretty young yet, you
know. and boys will DO boys"
81 should say hat father would settle
down when he got 10 be about $780," was
! the reply.
Anyway. Uncle Joe was in town until
Yesterday morning and a a wonderful
time. He himself estimated that in the
four days he was here re must have
slept all of twenty hours, for when in
New York Uncle Joe Is n member in
good standing OF tho Incorporated Order
Of Bed Haters. Not to say anything
else. ne Is said TO be one of the best Kelly
pool players in Danville, H., and kelly
pool. whether you know II or not, Is a
night blooming sport.
Just before ne added 10 the respon-
sibilities OF the Pennsylvania Railroad
yesterday morning Uncle Joe added a
little to the sum total OF human wisdom,
speaking in that jerky fashion, words
suffering out OF one corner OF his
mouth. big black cigar smoking in the
other corner. The talk touched upon
prohibition. What Uncle Joe said will
not be repeated In this newspaper. which
is a family newspaper, read at the
breakfast table and often by the very
young. oh yes, II was as bad as that.
Also he grumbled divertingly about New
York.
Darn place Is always ripped up.
seems to me-" said the gentleman from
, the Twelfth Illinois district, or dee
: strict" as he himself has pronounced It
for two-thirds OF n centrpy. Always
ripped up. Never came here vet that
they weren't r!ppin' away at some street
/ or other. Soon as you get one street laid
down you rip Il M and start all over
again. Bet you I've seen Broadway
ripped up twenty times IN the last
twenty years.
How IN he'll are you ever goir' 20
get the town finished II you keep arippin'
and ~arippin' that way? There are a
lot OF MS country people that would like
to see New York all completed and pol
ished up like. How are we ever going
/, u see her like that when you are eter-
nally rippin' her to pieces?
He Loves Our Subway.
And the subway! OF all the blankety
| blank. Providentially condemned, sheol
. designed, blasted apotheosis OF perd!tion
: that subway system Is the worst! How
, in hell can anybody find the cussed holes
| 10 raw out of Not me, Not your
= Uncle Joseph, and I'm still in possession
! OF my ordinary faculties. I'd have YOU
, know.
i've always used the elevated. Like
Il Like to ride h'gh UP and free Ike.
where | can see what's Eoin' on. But I
wanted 10 take a chance AT the new sub
way, 81 l asked my daughter for gem
eral directions. She said something
about following n black line or a green
line or some other cussed color and l
J tried 10 obey orders, but 1t was too much
for me. II anybdy should ask you I'd
say that that subway would be the best
place to put the Kaiser IN. Just boot
him into IL and turn him loose, That's
ali tina would he necessary. Maybe
: there Is something in International law.
Though. that forbids cruel and unusual
puriishments."
Uncle Joe shut of steam a minute or
80 to pun at the black cigar. His shrewd.
:. keen old eyes shot glances this way and
: that as II he we're afraid he might over
$ look something. More than ever as ne
1 gets older h makes one think Of LIN
coin. the bearded Abe Lincoln OF Sanga-
mon. and the resemblance to the late
shelby VI. Cullom is really remarkable.
T Uncle Joe is perfectly aware of these
/ resemblances and cares no more about
them than n chorus girl does for a
- etpAr KIN coat, uOl u pN hpIe. I1c
{ Just hates to look IN the glass.
I'm not Go!p' to talk politics now be-
{ cause II isn't time to talk politics. I've
got my views, and they are pretty de-
. cided ones, about the man we need and
= the policies we need, hut I'd better keep
my tongue in my cheek for a while.
a There's too much going on over there
too much Of international concern.
Thanks God for senate.
I "Nr. Wilson has a big Job on his
a hands. maybe too big for one man bu'
) after all he has at his back ready for
. . help the United States Senate, and I foI
D one thank God that We have the Senate
to rely on. Nothing can be done Of