Bisbee daily review., 1918-06-23
THE ENTHUSIASTIC
 MISTER JONES

And l said in my haste. all men are liars" It was either David or Solo mon or some old timer of the Bible that spake the above one day in the long ago. Now the newspaper man would not, in his haste. call any man liar. But, after due thought and much reflection and a great deal of regret, he would incline to doubt cer- tain statements born of frenzy Of enthusiasm. Take the case of Jones.
 Jones is English himself, and. like most of his countrymen, inclined to be calm, cool and conservative. Jones sOjourned fer awhile in Australia be- lore finally coming to America, and there he learned much that was profit able of men and things. Upon coming to Bisbee he went to work in an estab- lishment devoted to the distribution of flivvers. In the capacity of secre- iary. salesman and all-round man. Jones was a shining success.
 As attorney for the defense he could clear a flivver of any charge whatever all the way up frc:a flat tires to a wrinkled top. This newspaper man does not speak from hearsay in this case. He has himself often brought his flivver to Jones in a state of mind wherein he wanted to kill the man that invented the machine and sell that flivver for old junk. But always. under the persuasive tongue and pleasant smile and delft skill of MT. Jones, he has driven away like another Ben Hur in his chariot singing the praises of. the flivver so that all men could hear
 All went very well between this newspaper man and Jones until the said Jones procured a flivver of his own. Then the David and Jonathan bond came to a sad and sudden end.
 Jones. the mild enc, the kind one. the patient one. became arrogant and proud. Jones. the conservative and steadfast and dependable one, became radical and flighty and wild. This newspaper man had been jogging along perfectly contented in his flivver, get ting fifteen and eighteen miles on a gallon of his thirty-cent gas and never making a murmur. Then came Jones cue day and boasted of getting thirty five flom his old hand-me-down ma chine.
 But the climax came the ether day. Tho camcis back was broken by the burden Jones laid upon it in the form of a statement that he had climbed the divide in his car, in the nigh, with five men aboard.
 This newspaper man claims to have the best flivver in or out of captivity. and yet he has to shift to the low long before he ascends to the foot of that mile high divide, and with no one at all aboard but his own lonely self
 Strange, is it not. how the possess ion of flivver can change a man so. The flivver is a marvel, alright. but the days of miracles have gone fOrev- CT. What Jones ought to have is a Haviland type of airplane equipped with four hundred horsepower Liber- ty motor and a two thousand gallon tank of gas and then he ought to be sent on a flight from Bisbee to Bor- deaux. Any man that can run a load ed flivv'- up a mountain side in the iigh and get for.y miles to the gallon of gas is wasting his rich young life anywhere except in the Lafayette Es- cadrille
 Yes, there is a growing coldness be- tween these two old friends. Jones and the newspaper man, and it will con tinue to grow colder still until such time as Jones makes a written state ment containing new and more con servative facts concerning his flivver.