davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Psychology of mascots is very sim De. What more faithful friend is there than the animal man feeds? What more perfect embodiment of peace than the carefree mongrel on a battleslfip's cleared decks? Where arc ears that listen better and more silently than hung on a shaggy head? :?
 "Menagerie Mike they called one blu e-iacket. And he deserved it: for of all the queer pets that men-of-War have had this single Irshman orig inated the better part.
 He started with a small and vel low dog. "Of course" agreed the C;,ptain to Mikes request, for a happy ship is most likely to be smart ship. The dog washed over dogs have.
 But in the same week Culebra was reached. Culebra goats are famous for their friendly ways. Mike col lectcd a pair. One fell down a hatch, broke his leg, and had to be shot. The other ate cork of thumb-tacks, rolled over and died of triple pto- r1ainc-at least the gun deck called il so.
 Luck took the squadron to Gibral- tar where a parrot was won at pi- nochle from a British Cruiser. The parrot learned to speak Mike name and to climb the smoke-pipe guys. He used to climb first then. his feet becoming oVerwarm would scream for. his master to deliver him from
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
FACTS ABOUT THE AMERICAN NAVY
Pets.

torture. After several thousand res- cues Mike traded his bird of para disc for A Malta pig.
 Now pigs are very nice and clean ana full of humor aboard ship, But they are excessively dull. They can't fight and don't bite. So when Mike rother-in-law died the bunch cele- brated with fresh pork pie
 The rest of the list is just the navy register-of pets, that is, Paroquets f"om the islands; little. big and me- diu1n sized monkeys; horned toads: non poisonous snakes from South Australia; fat rabbits from Chinese rivers; a rooster from Magasaki. turtles from Guam: and a dozen oth- CTS lived aboard But not for long, Next morning, as a rule, the Skipper found the new monstrosity out and fired him. or had him ct"
 So Menagerie Mike well earned his title. The usual visitors usual mes- ton was: 'What's Mike got now" Until one day the amazing answer vas; "A Siamese grasshopper chained m cage Which was true, though a Missourian would have said tho bug looked honey.
 And 1t was also true that next time We heard; Mikes a pet himself now . The keepers pet at st. Eliza bcth's
 You know what animals are pets there don't you?
 Bugs
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
THE FLAG OF THE U. $. \.

Over the hills and far away, Shlnes the flag of the U S A. Over the seas so deep and blue It shines OCT the sailors brave and
 true. over the bIoodstained fields of France It floats OCT the trenches, viewing askance. The Teuton horde with their fiendish
 kdlSCr, And it urges the men who will make
 him wiser Blood-litc crimson and clca ming
 white, \ field of blue Oh, what a sight It stands for freedom and libcrtv For truth and for world democracy We are ail secure within it's folds And oh. the treasures that it holds, Freedom and truth and democracy Long may it wave OCT tho land of
 the free.
 THOMAS MYERS,
 N. B. High School.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

What we are trying to figure out is whereabouts in Rrest Litovsk the recent peace confab was held be- tween the Boisheviki and the Ger mans. When we were there after the siege of the city there was hardly a stone left upon a stone. Perhaps the conferees remained standing while arranging 'peace' terms, or again maybe they adjourned to the vacant lot near what is left of the railroad station.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Professor Thomas, who was dis missed last week from the faculty of Chicago University, following charges against him of unbecoming conduct with the wife of an American army officer serving in France. states that has literary ambitions, having read number of my life histories in manuscript" Which leads us to be- lieve that the professor hates him self.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
PRISSIANS PAY HEAVY TOLL

Zurich. April 22.--Official reports of the Prussian state railways show that in 1917. 57,0OO,000 marks were paid as compensation for property lost or stolen in transit compared with 40OO, 900 marks in 1914.
 The German post office paid three million marks in com pensation dur ing 1917 compared with one hundred thousand in 1913. The greater part of the goods stolen on the railways was foodstuffs, clothing and other ar ticles of necessity.
 The robberies on the Austrian railways are reported to be even greater than in Germany. The min- istry of railways in Vienna begs the l,ubIic not to send goods bN rail eX- cept in the most urgent cases.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
1ODAY'S TABLOID TALE
Only 93O.
By Joe BIa st

only 930.
 The Kaiser was eating q SaGcrkraut pie in his field tent. . but by the dropping tips of his sensitive military mustache his aides-de-camp saw that he was not enjoying his favorite dessert.
 "The verspIottskcn (darned) Americans!" he grumbled say aeely. It's untcrdurkcslotz (utterly ridicuIous) that our men can do nothing with the miserable coWardly untrained upstartS!"
 General Augcnblitz goose stepped in and saIuted.
 Your eXcellcncy." he re- ported. T have the honor to bring the news that our men have taken forty American prisoners"
 "Bltckenfutz'" (BullyD cried the Kaiser, and summoned an orderly.
 Telegraph to Berlin my command that all the school children be given a days holi- day to commemorate the occa- sion!"
 And he turned again to Gen eral AuEenblitz, the ends of his sensitive mustache now stand ing as erect and stiff as ram rods.
 "Forty, you say? Forty" he asked. rubbing his hands.
 "Forty, your eXcellency," re- piled Augcnblitz.
 And did they do any dam age while they were being cap tured? Did they account for any of our men?' pursued the Kaiser.
 "Only 9$0, your excellency," said Augenblitz proudly.
 With a howl of anguish. and his m1Istache ends pointing straight down, the Kaiser com manded General AugcnbIitz to go q whole week without mus tard on his sausages, and sent counter order to Berlin com manding that all the children be soundly whipped and de- tained an hour after school. Copyright 1918 by George
 Matthew Adams)
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
PRINCE IICHNOwSKY.

Fnce LtchnoWsky, who was Ger ambassador to Great Britain the outbreak of war in August, is in disgrace. After his return London, the Prince prepared lte memoranda dealing with Is leading up to the declaration al between England and Ger
 and some paragraphs reflect wn personal views of the policy native land pursued in several national questions. These views lot very complim entary to Ger
 They prove that her ambas-
 to the Court of St. James led fully that sooner or later |any would provoke world l [ct by her aggressive attitude and she would lose what respect and 3.ation she had won among led nations by her prowess in hercial and industrial spheres. living the causes of the world the Prince concludes with this |nent;
 e struggle Germany has pre- Ned will end in triumph for her vents and she will stand alone
 ustria and Hungary
 notes and comment were of
 cver intended for publication
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
Our Friend, John Jay.

Jack Daily, who has been temporar- fly editing a paper somewhere in the pie belt of New England, is in the city en route to the army. He has enlist ed and is the second private I have heard of in the city.--Earl Goodwin in Washington Times
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

The latest German communication states that Saxon soldiers advanced toward American position, captured 8 few men and some guns, but then had to retire to their starting point All of which naturally constitutes an other brilliant victory"
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

The whole relation between states resolves itself into elemental anarchy unlss treaties are obserNed-theN can commit any act if they have the force to carry them through.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Dr. kuehlman, German secretary for foreign affairs, is about to resign, as did his colleague, Czernin. Evi- dently Herr Doktor was afraid some- one would call him a liar, too.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

When that earthquake was felt in California the natives must have thought the German shock troops had arrived.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

'Bunyan Active to the End Headline. And then someone called in the chiropodist
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

One who loves the Union will love the State in which he re- sides.
 OLIVER ". HOLMES, II.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Potatoes three times a day is what the food administration desires the American people to eat--not always but while the remainder of last years crop is being disposed of. DO your duty.-Springf gfe1d Republican.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Policeman in Illinois explained that the reason he did not protect a victim from q mob was that the tel ephone bell rang md he had to an swer it. Well. that's about all the work some of them ever do.--Spring- field Daily News.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
WONEN'S BANK IN TROUBLE.

Am msterdam, April 22.-The won1- CTS bank in Berlin conducted for and by Women which came into conflict with the law In April, 1915, is again before the courts after a
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

smell as swcet.' "I doubt. however. if an orchid by any other name would cost as much. .''--Louisville Courier Journal.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Buying Bonds Beats Berlin Bru- tdhty.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

April has decided to settle down and do her duty.--BridgcpOr Post.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Can you remember back to the good old days when a bowlegged girl wanted to grow up so she could wear long skirts and hide 'em ?--Eridge- port Standard American.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
FACTS AND RANCHES.

Napoleon Bonapartc once said that the British seldom won battle ex- cept the last one, and that is a thought which should steady some despondcnt minds today.--New York World.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

If Emperor Charles letter was really written by the Duchess Of Parma. we have at last variant of the mothcr-in-l law joke.-New York Evening Post.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

man accountant had spent eighteenl months disentanglng it's accounts.g The manager according to the Kreuz Zeitung, will be charged with volat- ing the law The defence is that the
 banks business grew so rapidly it overwhelmed the capacities of 1e board of directors composed of wonl- men, two of whom are on natonal< service in Russia. .
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

It the constant bombardment upon the fields of battle has not affected our weather, there is no necessity for further experiments. What we have we like.-New Haven Journal Courier.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22
Britain Herald.

HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY.
 Proprfs tors.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

your duty-SpringGield Republican. Policeman in Illinois explained that the reason he did not protect a victim from q mob was that the tel ephone bell rang md he had to an swer it. Well. that's about all the work some of them ever do.--Spring- field Daily News.
 Can you remember back to the good old days when a bowlegged girl wanted to grow up so she could wear long skirts and hide 'em ?--Bridge- port Standard American.
 It the constant bombardment upon the fields of battle has not affected our weather, there is no necessity for further experiments. What we have we like.-New Haven Journal Courier.
 Also the people who haven't any time to cultivate the back yard, are often the same ones who haven't time to make success of their busi- ness.-Preston Press Guardian.
 "A British Tank Comes to Enthuse
  is that Hartford will enthuse almost any tank,-New London Day.
 Someone inquires what proceed ings should be taken against & neighbor who maintains d disorderly ward? The most effective is proceed to put your own grounds in perfect order.-New Haven Union
 Gen. Haig's order of the day su2- gests in the circum stances of it's is- sue as in its words Gen. Joffre's or der on the eve of the Battle of the Marne. It now remains for the allied armies to keep the parallel goinG.-- New York World.
 A Boston scientist claims that man descended from Q large lizard which has become extinct. We don't care SO much what man came from but we wish some of the scientists could give us definite information as to where he is going.-Springfield (O.) News.
 Waterbury rent sharks have been brought to task for an 30 per cent jump ill hEureS. Landlords have exploited war conditions in cold blood" says the commission, which after verifying 102 cases, renders its report to Governor Holcomb. Colonel Eurpee had better call out his Home Guard cohorts and institute another dedication meeting such as he gave the socialists in HartfoFd.-New Lon don Day.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Issued daily Sunday excepted) at 4:iS ?. u.
 at Herald Building, e Church St.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Entered at the Post Office at New Britain
 as Second Class Mali Matter.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Also the people who haven't any time to cultivate the back yard, are often the same ones who haven't time to make success of their busi- neSs.--Preston Press Guardian.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

"A British Tank Comes to Enthuse Hartford" New London experience is that Hartford will enthuse almost any tank,-New London Day.
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

WISE, SMITH & CO.,, HARTFORD

to % THE UNITED STATES FOOD CONSERVATION PLAN o POTATOES We sell Potatoes a (Signed)
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Gen. Halg's order of the day sug- gestS, in the crcum stances of it's is- sue as in its words. Gen. Joffre's or der on the eve of the Battle of the Marne. It now remains for the allied armies to keep the parallel goinG.-- New York World
New Britain herald., 1918-04-22

Someone inquires what proceed ings should be taken against a neighbor who maintains d disorderIA ward? The most effective is proceed to put &our own grounds in perfect order.-New Haven Union
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
G00D-BY TO THE CRUTCHES
Artificial Limbs So cIeveriy Devised
That leaIess Men Have No DIM
Guilty In Walking.

There need he no legless soldiers 10
hobble pitifully along the streets after
this war. An American army surgeon
has devised n new type Of artificial
leg which can he manufactured by
Uncle Sam for about $25 and which
will almost perfectly reproduce the ac-
tiOn Of natural leg. even II the sol.
der has only stump left. II means
good-by to crutches. declares the New
York Evening Post.
This remarkable triumph Of Ameri.
can Inventive genius was described st
the New York Academy OF Medicine
by Maj r. Il. sMagnuson. medical re-
serve corps. member OF the surgeon
generals stan.
The artificial leg described ny the
surgeon is the invention OF Mai. Da.
vid Silver, another medical reserve Of
acer, formerly q practIcIng physician
In Pittsburgh.
"Tbis artificial leg is Of type far
ahead OF anything that has hccn devel.
oped abroad as a result Of the war"
Major Magnuson said. "It Is a better
substitute for a natural leg than the
government has ever been able to oh
tain heretofore for 500 each. and II
can be made for a quarter Of that
price. In this one thing alone Doctor
Silver has earned his salary MS major"
The invention has been successfully
used by man with bofh legs ampu-
tnted. Clutches are unnecessary. The
foot has j0inted insicp and rub.
ber base which reproduccs the natural
movements with astonishing success
Major Magnuson asserted that II would
be hard 10 guess that man was wear
Ing the support after he was practlced
In its use.
Artificial hands and wrists were also
described.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
RETURN TO WAGER OF BATTLE
Warfare Of the Future Likely TO Be
Restricted to Comparatively
Few Combatants.

A day. not far removed, may come
when the embnttled hosts Of rival M
tions will give place To wager of
battle to decide the conflict. The bnt-
tie will then he confined to the com
batants alone without violent interfcr-
encc with the peaceful pursuits OF
noncombatnnts or destruction of their
property.
First. however, we must evolve
great engines OF destruction, 80 per-
feet that few skilled heroes will dI-
rect each one of them. These war ma
chimes will be so costly that only a
few grent powers will have the re-
sources tn construct and maintain
them. Wise legislation and skillful
systems Of taxation will be necessary
to organize the whole people for their
support A chosen few, picked from
the whole nation, will man them. men
in the fun vigor Of their strength.
physically perfect 10 endure the terri
Bile strain, and powerful Of brain to
meet and surmount every intricncy OF
mechanics and every difficulty OF
strategy.
Above all, these hero supermen
must he of such answering character
that they will, day In and day out,
without surccasc. devote their unfing-
ging zenl In the great task of defend
ing the civilization for which they con
tend. The evolution and the incrcns-
Ing economic burden of maintenance
of this machinery Will make war the
luxury of the most powerful states
and will cause the area of war con-
stantly 10 recede. Small nations will
no longer he nble 10 maintain military
establishments. and eventually the mil
lions Of men who now buttlc upon the
field of honor will have been replaced
by contest among a few men In con
troll OF stupendous machinery.-Ellery
c. Stowell In the Century Magazine.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
It'll. Fat Makes Them Swell.

strange new disease has broken
out In Germany, according to articles
In German medical wccklles. summnr.
lied In the Journal OF the American
Medical Association. The physicians
call II war edema. II manlfests Itself
by swelling OF the lower extremltIes.
less often Of the upper, the face. and
the serous cavities. Unless permanent
relief is obtained 1t may last for
months.
Apparently all the German writer's
attribute II to the poor diet that now
prevails; excess of carbohydrates and
deficiency Of fats, together with large
quantities. Of water. ms the food Is
taken mostly In the form Of soup.
The cure is rest In bed and the ad.
dillon Of at least 100 grams OF fat TO
the daily ration.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24

THE Stars and Stripes Fo
will ring In the Kaiser's ears.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
Self Education.

Some OF the best educated men new
er went to college. One of the most
eminent geol0glsts never went to
school. Many college and university
graduates think they have acquired
the sum Of human knowledge and rest
on their oars for the rest of their lives,
while others with inferior advantages
pass them In the pursuit of knowledge
One OF the best-informed men IN the
country. who became prominent In
business and diplomacy, left school
when sixteen years OF nge to enter
the services of n firm of East India
merchants In the old days OF smiling
vessels. He made many voyages round
the Cape OF Good Hope and devoted
his time on shIpboard To study. He
rcnd every word In one OF the cncyclo-
pcdins OF TINT day and learned seven
or eight languages. In this way he he
came the best-posted man whom the
Federal government could find In the
United States for special diplomatic
work. Whenever subject arose In
conversation with which he was unfa-
milinr he looked II up In some book
OF reference and he said he never for
got what he rend about mntter TINT
interested him ut the ,lme. His was
perfect system OF sels.education.-
New York Commercial
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
A Raise IN Wsoes.

Everybody likes to have HIS wnges
raised, and everybody feels little
thrill OF pride when he IL told he Is
going TO be paid more for his work.
Did you ever figure II out that you
were being paid wages when you go
TO school, and can have them raised
every month II you want TOT Sure.
You study. and that's work. You get
paid for your work in knowledge. Sup
pose this month you bring home re-
port card which shows you have been
only fair In arithmetic. That's not
bad. But you want your wages raised.
SO you work little harder and next
month the report ls good instead of
fur. You've had II salary Increase.
That's the only way 10 look at it.
From the American Boy.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24

In many ways the Firms are very
queer people. ms II illustrated by the
Christian Herald.
II IL during the terribly cold months
that the Films revel In the mighty
ovens that fill one corner Of every
kitchen and often loom up large and
vastly Impressive In the other rooms
of Finn home as well. The tops OF
these monster stoves are perfectly fat,
and steps lead up on one side.
When the weather becomes bitterly
cold and bleak, the entire family will
take quilts and pillows and. mounting
10 the top of the big heater, spread
down their bedding and sleep very
comfortably and contentedly on the
hard. hot bricks until morning.
The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1918-08-24
++++S+++++*4+++4+4++F.4s.p

No more graphic description of the
ravnges of the German soldlery upon
the civilian population of invaded
countries has been given than IL con-
tained In the brief and simple state
ments of F. c. Walcott now connected
with the United States food admins
tration, who was assistant to Mr..
Hoover while America was feeding
Belgium, Poland and northern France.
In one Of these statements Mr.. Wal
colt says:
Even now find It hard to describe
In comprehensive terms the mind of
Official Germany. which dominates and
shapes all German thought and action.
Yet II is as hard, as clear-cut, as real
as any material thing. I saw It in
Poland, i saw the same thing In Bel
gium, I heard of 1t in Serbia and Rou-
mania. For weeks 1t was always be-
fore me, always the same. Officers
talked freely, frankly. directly. All
the staff officers have the same view.
Let me try to tell II, as General Won
Kries told me, In Poland, In the midst
OF dying nation. Germany Is des-
tined to rule the world. or at least a
great part Of II. The German people
are so much human material for build
Ing the German state. other people do
not count. All " for the glory and
might of the German state. The lives
Of human beings are to be conserved
only II 1t makes for the stat - ad-
vancement, their lives are to be sacri-
feed II II is to the states advantage.
The state Is all. the people are moth
ing.
Conquered people signify little In
the German account. Life, liberty,
happiness, human sentiment. family
ties, grace and generous impulse, these
have no place beside the one concern,
the greatness of the German state.
Starvation must excite no pity; SYM
pathy must rot be allowed, If Il ham,
pers the main design of promoting
Germany's ends.
starvation is here" said General
Won Kries. "Candidly, we would like
to see 1t relieved we fear our soldiers
may be unfavorably affected by the
things that they see. But since 1t Is
here, starvation must serve our pur-
pose. So we set 1t to work for Ger
many. BY starvation we can accom-
plish In two or three years in East
Poland more than we have in West
Poland, which Is East Prussia, in the
last hundred years. With that In
view, we propose to turn this force to
our advantage.
This country Is meant for Ger
many" continued the keeper OF starv-
Ing Poland. ut ic rich alluvlal |
country which Germany has needed /
for some generations. We propose TO |
remove the able-bodied working Poles
from this country. It leaves 1t open
for the inflow Of German working peo-
pie as fast as we can spare them.
They will occupy 1t and work It,"
Then with cunning smile Cant
you see how 1t works out7 BY and by
we shall give back freedom to Poland.
When that happens Poland Will appear
as German province"