davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

those stiffened joints, that baekache, rheu. matism, lnmbago, sciatiea, gall stones. gravel, "brick dust" etc. They are an effective remedy for all diseases of the bladder, kidney, liver, stomach and allied organs.
 GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules cleanse the kidneys and purify the blood. They frequently ward off attacks of tho dangerous and fatal diseases of the kid neys. They have beneficial effect, and often completely cure the diseases of the bodily organs, allied with the bladder and kidneys.
 If you are troubled with soreness across the loins or with simple" aches and pains in the back take warning, 1t may be the preliminary indications of some dreadful malady which can be warded of or cured if taken in time.
 Go to your druggist today and get box of GOLD MEDAL. Haarlem Oil Capsules. Money refunded if they do not help you. Three sizes. GOLD MEDAL are the pure. original imported Haarlem Oil Capsules. Accept No Substitutes.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Mazse -...s -r.s. raI.

A gentleman from the rural district made his semi-weekly trip into the city and disposed of a small wagon load sf produce for q sum that caused him to walk stoop-shouldered with It's weight says the Indianapolis News. Ever and anon he would feel for the money in his pockets and men, 4ally smack his lips in extreme satis- faction.
 With freakish impulse he stepped into dairy lunch room for snack before starting home. He got cup ful of coffee. sandwich and a piece sf pie that he was afraid he would lose sight of before he got a chance to eat it. His check was punched for 45 cents. As he was standing at the cashiers desk digging up. one of the Kitchen attendants, failing to catch fhe order of sandwichshouter, sang out, Come again"
 "Yes, I will, like thunder, ye dern robber," snaried the agrieulturist.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Cured

y local applications as they cannot reach ne diseased portion of the ear. There Is Inly one way to cure Catarrhal Deafness and that Is by a constitutional remedy. HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE acts through the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces of the System. Catarrhal Deafness Is caused by an inflamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube When this tube Is infiamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when 1t is entirely closed. Deafness is the result. Unless the Inflammation can be re- duced and this tube restored to its nor mai condition. hearing may be destroyed forever. Many cases of Deafness are caused by Catarrh, which is an infiamed condition of the Mucous Surfaces.
 ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for any case of Catarrhal Deafness that cannot be cured by HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE.
 All Druggists 75c. Circulars free.
 F. J. Cheney & Co.,, Toledo Ohio.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
CaIomeI Users! Listen To Me!
 Guarantee Dodson's Liver Tone Your druggist gives back your money if it doesn't liVen your liver and bowels and straighten
 you up without making you sick.

Ughl Calomel makes you sick. It's horrible Take dose of the dangerous drug tonight and tomorrow you may lose q days work.
 Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver which causes necrosis of the bones. Caiomel. when 1t comes into contact with sour bile, crashes into 1t, breaking 1t up. This Is when you feel that awful nausea and cramping. If you are slug glsh and "all knocked out" if your liver Is torpid and bowels constipated or you have headache, dizziness, coat cd tongue. if breath is bad or stomach sour, just try a spoonful of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone tonight.
 Here's my guarantee-Go to any drug store and get bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone for a few cents. Take
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Price put me on the train and the con- ductor took care of me.
 "Who is Mir. Priee?" the storekeeper asked.
 Hes a lawyer. He's written you long letter about it. It's in my bag. Didn't you get the telegram he sent you last evening. Uncle Joe? A night letter. he called it."
 Never got it" replied Mir. Stagg shortly.
 Well, you see, when papa and man. ma had to go away so suddenly they left me with the Prices. go to school with Edna Price and she slept with me at night in our fiat-after the Dunra- ven sailed"
 'But-what did this lawyer send you up here for?' asked Mr. Stagg.
 The question was a poser and Caro- lyn May stammered: II Don't guardians always take their little girls home and look out for them?"
 Hum don't know" The hard ware merchant unused grimly. Fl guess we'd better go up to The Corners and see what Aunty Rose has to say about it. You understand, I couldn't really keep you if she says Nor"
 "0h, Uncle Joe, couldn't your"
 "No," he declared. wagging his head decidedly. And what she'll say to that dog"
 "0hp Carolyn May cried again, and put both arms suddenly about the neck of her canine friend. Prince is just the best dog, Uncle Joe"
 MT. Stagg shook his head doubtfally. Then he went into the office and shut the big ledger into the safe. After locking the safe door, he slipped the key into his trousers pocket and glanced around the store.
 ''Td like to know where that use less Gormley boy is now." muttered Mir. Stagg.
 "Chet! Hey! you Chet i''
 To Carolyn Mays amazement and to the utter mystifcation of Prince, sec tion of the floor under their feet began to rise.
 "Oh, mercy mel" squealed the little girl, and she hoped off the trapdoor;
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
WEAK KIDNEYS MEAN
 A WEAK BODY

When you're fifty, your body begins to creak little at the hinges. Motion is more slow and deliberate. Not so young as I used to be- is q frequent and unwel- come thought. Certain bodily functions upon which good health and good spirits so much depend, are impaired. The weak spot IS generally the bladder. Unpleasant symptoms show themselves. Painful and annoying complications in other organs arise. This IS particularly true with el- derly people If you only know how, this trouble can be obyiated.
 For over 200 years GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil has been relieving the in- convenience and pain due to advancing years. It is a standard, old-time home remedy, and needs no introduction. It Is now put up in odorless, tasteless capsules. These are easier and more pleasant to take than the oil in bottles.
 Each capsule contains about one dose of five drops. Take them just like you would any pill, with small swallow of water. They soak into the system and throw of the poisons which are making you old be- fore your time. They will quickly relieve
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

but the dog uttered quick, threaten. ing growl and put his muzzle to the widening aperture.
 "Hey call off that dogi" begged a muffied voice from under the trapdoor. He'll eat me up, Mir. Stagg."
 Lie down, Prince!" commanded Carolyn May hastily. Its only boy. You know you like boys, Prince" she urged.
 Come on up out O that cellar, Chet. I'm going up to The Corners with my little niece-Hannahs Car'lyn. This is Chetwood Gormley. If he ever stops growth longitudinally mebbe he'll be a man some day and not giant. You stay right here and tend store while I'm gone. Chet."
 Carolyn May could not help feeling some surprise at the finally revealed proportions of Chetwood Gormley. He was lathlike and gawky, with very prominent upper front teeth, which gave sort of bow-window appearance to his wide mouth. But there was a good-humored twinkle in the over- grown boys shallow eyes and, if un- couth, he was kind.
 ''rm proud to know ye, Car'lyn," he said. He stepped quickly out of the way of Prince when the latter started for the front of the store
 Once out of the shop in the sunlit street. the little girl breathed sigh of relief. Mir. Stagg. peering down at her sharply, asked:
 'What's the matter?'
 "1-I- Your shop is awful dark, Uncle Joe" she confessed. T can't seem to look up In there"
 Look up?" repeated the hard ware dealer. puzzled.
 'sYes, sir. My papa says never to get in any place where you can't look up and see something brighter and bet ter ahead" said Carolyn May softly '.He says that's what makes life worth living"
 "Oh, he does, does he?" grunted Mir Stagg.
 He noticed the heavy bag In her hand and took 1t from her. Instantly her released fingers stole into his free
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

spoonful and if it doesn't straighten you right up and make you feel fine and vigorous I want you to go back to the store and get your money. Dod- sons Liver Tone Is destroying the sale Of calomel because it is real liver medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore it cannot saliyate or make you sick.
 l guarantee that one spoonful Of Dodson's Liver Tone will put your sluggish liver to work and clean your bowels of that sour bile and constI- pated waste which is clogging your system and making you feel miserable. I guarantee that bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone will keep your entire fam fly feeling fine for months. Give it to your children. It is harmless doesn't gripe and they like its pleasant taste.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
ATE SIXTEEN PIECES OF PIE
Chamberlain Also Consumed Lot of Other Things-Waiters
 Work in Relays.

South Bridge, Mass.-A check for S2.75 doesn't mean much in Cafe de Luxe" but In Wesson's lunch it repre- sents many mouthfuls. That was the size of the check rendered Theodore Chamberlain when he "blew in" there recently, after working without cessa- uOn for two days
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Grandmother in Eighteen Days.

A lady green bug becomes grand mother in is days. One can imagine, then, notes a naturalist. the multitu- dlnous armies of these insects that may develop in the course of a sea son. Their worst foe Is tiny black fonr-winged fly that deposits an egg in each bug 1t comes across, its larva consuming the bugs inside works and using it's shell for a house.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Lemon Juice
 For FreCkIes
Glrlsi Make beauty lotion at home for few cents. Try ltl

Squeeze the juice of two lemons into bottle containing three ounces of orchard white, shake well, and you have quarter pint of the best freckle, sunburn and tan lotion, and complex ion whitener, at very, very small cost.
 Your grocer has the lemons and any drug store or toilet counter will supply three ounces of orchard white for few cents. Massage this sweetly fragrant lotion into the face, neck, arms and hands and see how freckles. sunburn and tan disappear and how clear, soft and white the skin becomes. Vest It Is harmless.-Ady.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Guilty.

A certain admiral whose addiction to strong language Is we'll known ia the navy was one day inspecting one of the ships under his command When he came to the brig (ship's jalD hts piercing eye travelled from one to an- other of the prisoners, who were evi- dently i'll at ease under his scrutiny.
 What the - are yoE in for7" he demanded of one.
 "For using profanity. sir" was the meek reply.-Life.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
What Amused Him

Roy K. Moulton at the Press club the other evening told of young American soldier who stood knee deep in the mud in front trench. Shrap- nei was screaming all about him and the big shells were bursting over his head Suddenly the soldier burst into wild fit of laughing.
 Whats the matter with you?" said trench mate sarcasdcally.
 T was just thinkin', Bill" was the response, about the guy who held me up one night in Memphis with q % eallber revolver. New York Times.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Teddy said he was hungry. Head Waiter Moses Monette couldn't main tain the necessary speed, so some of his walters helped out In maintaining the guests commissary department.
 Chamberlain weighs only 123 pounds, but no German ever taken prisoner displayed such munching propensities. Here is what Chamberlain put away in exchange for his S2.75:
 Two dropped eggs on toast, several griddfe cakes, four mullins. two large cups of coffee. one glass of milk; three sections of strawberry shortcake fol
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Eats 'Em Alive.

Vacuum cleaners, an Ohio farmer has discovered, make excellent potato bug exterminators. Noticing that his potato vines were thick with the pest, he attached long extension feed wire lar of his home and carried the cleaner out into his backyard potato patch. The current was turned on, and in a few minutes every bug was drawn into the bag.-People's Home Journal.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Nobodv Gets By.

My friend, who Is an officer, told me ahis one: ''There was a new and young lad on sentry duty, so J thought would play a trick on him. It was dark when I approached .he camp, md the sentry asked, Who goes 4herer I answered, Nobody He, be- coming excited at this answer, replied, Pass on.'"
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
A New Way to Shave

Tender skins twice a day without irri- eation by using Cuticura Soap the s'Cuticura Way" No slimy mug, germs, waste of time or money. For free sam- pies address, "Cuticura, Dept. X, Bos- ton" At druggists and by mall. Soap 25. Ointment 9 and 5O.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

All country stores should stock vaeher- Balm because 1t gives satisfaction. and pleased customers are your best adyer- tisers. Ii also saves your capital by taking the place of many otber reme- dies. Samples free. F. ". Vacher, Inc, New Orleans, La.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

lowed, and then he asked for piece of custard pie. He asked for another and another. When he finished he had eaten Is pieces of pie. Chamberlain topped his lunch with a draught of Ice water and said: Well, I ain't as hun- gry as I was"
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
LOOK UP!

You will feel better for having known Carolyn of the Corners. She is a IoyabIe little girl, who not only breaches but practices the gospel of looking up" and always making things "a wee bit better" To become acquainted with her is like letting in the sunshine and looking up at the blue sky. You will want to fol- low Carolyn through this story after you have read the opening chapter.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Carolyn and Prince make the acquaintance of Aunty Rose, and the latter's attitude Is not very reassuring to the lonely little girl. caro!yn's first ex- per.cnces in her new home are told in the next instaIlment
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Twins Near In Drawino.

Kokomo. Ind.-Ned F. Albright was drawn as the ninety-sixth registrant .,a the war department records, while his twin brother was but four numbers down the list from him.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
FOR IEADacHE

USE VACHER-BALM, 1t is cooling. and relieves promptly. besides being harmless.
 Avoid mutations
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Groves chill Tonic Tablets and

You can now get Groves Tasteless chill Tonic in Tablet form as well as in Syrup the kind you have always bought The tablets are intended for those who prefer to swallow a tablet rather than Q syrup, and as convenience for those who travel. GROVES chill TONIC TABLETS" contain e1actly the same medicinal properties and produce tho same results as Groves Tasteless chill Tonic which is put uD in bottles. The price of either Is 60c.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Her Destiny.

"A waitress ought to be born one" "Why so2'
 'Isn't she one maid to order?"
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Measure of Esteem.

"Then she cares nothing for himT "Not even enough to inquire about his income
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

The manufacture of paper from wood pulp involves 2S separate opera tions.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Wilmer Krusen is preparing Penn syivania industries for employment of veteran American soldiers.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

A. B. Welch of Mandan, N. D., q cap tain with the American army A France, Is q Sioux Indian chief.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Britain is buying 60.000.000 sticks of gum for soldiers.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Millions of particular women now use and recommend Red Cross Ball Blue. All grocers. Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

It's difference of opinion that makes divorce cases. too.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Always sure to please, Red Cross Ball Blue. All grocers sell it. Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

When Baby is Teefhing GROVES BABY BOWEL MEDICINE win eorr-cs the Stomach and Bowel troubles. Perfectly harm ess. See directions on the bottle.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

United States cigarette sales may this year exceed 40.0O0.0O00O0
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

F. E. Duding of New York wants 100000 American convicts put to work in intuition plants.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Philadelphia Aero club reports Ss per cent of members in the war.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
eATONIC
0 FOR YOUR sToMAcns sGKE

fs positively guaranteed to clear the exceso acid out of your stomach and bowels.
 It fs made in the form of pleasapt-tasfinx tablets-handy to carry around with you,
 Get big box of EATONIO at any drur store and see how quickly it banishes the irn- mediate effects of acid-stomach. Away with heartburn. belching. food repeating. indiges- tion letc.-and then see how your general he aith improves.
 So again we tell you-insist upon it-if you are aiiing get big box EATONlC from your druggist today. The cost Is a trifie-oniy 500. You have faith In your druggist. We authorize nins to absolutely guarantee EATONIC to you and you can trust your own druggist to make this guarantee good. If EATONIC fails fl, any way, take 1t back-he will refund your money. If your druggist does not keep EATONIC, drop us postal card and we will send 1t to you nt once: you can send us the Soc after you get ;e Address: Fl. l.. Kramer, Pres., Eatonic Remedy company lols Sc. Wabash Ave-. Chicago, "
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Your q: ss:':!:'ss !:s:s;. Fys';s:; 5, lids;
 sure to San. Dsst and Wind l;is: :: <: :;;;;: <: :s:';; 5: :;:: V..r A

Your Druggists or by mail 6oc per Bottle. Foi 6eek si the Eye free write A4s e1urlao Eye Remedy Co.,, Chica0o.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
Don't Get Hung Up With an Acid Stomach
It's Just Acidity That Makes Millions Sick and Suffer

It's true. There are millions of people all over the land who are weak, nervous, all tired and dragged out, who are trying to build up their iaded nerves and weakened bodies with drugs and stimulants; and many of them also EAT and EAT-but fail 10 get anywhere near the full amount of strength and nourish- ment ont of their food. Why7 Simply because Of too much acid in the stomaeh-superaeidity.
 Get rid of the excess acid. Your stomachis sn right-just give 1t a chance to work easily nndnaturaliy. Then see how good you will feel-- your pep comes back. and your blood arms Epi
 new method-truly wonderful discov.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27

Chester, Pa. Is to have 1000 new dwelliun foe war workers.
The Monticellonian., 1918-09-27
(To BE CONTINUED

It is difficult to judge a woman by the things she doesn't say.
The Holt County sentinel., 1918-07-26

toners. and To see that an equitable
distribution j. made 10 oil their Gus
TONERS. When a dealer suspects any
one Of trying to repeat IN sugar pur.
chascs he II cautioned against making
the sale.
THE utmost care in the purchase
and use Of sugar must be exercised At
this time" said Mr. Mumford. "lf
the conservation measures Of the Food
Administration are lived up 10 by the
houscholdcrs there will be no actual
famine. Hut We can not emphasize
too strongly the necessity of the
housewives limiting consumption of
sugar in her household TO three pounds
u month u person, and Of buying only
as IL Is NEEDED. All other users Of
sugar are on strict rations and can
obtain supply only on certificate.
"'rhc L. :. Food Administration an
peals to the patriotism Of the Ameil-
can people to limit their consumption
of sugar To three pounds "a month a
person, which Is generous allowance
and adequate, and to reduce this TO
even lower figure II possible"
The Holt County sentinel., 1918-07-26

Besides, the men whom the housewife
will feed as threshing hands are &C
customed to conservation at home. And
they themselves grow wheat with ev-
cry effort at maximum production.
They don't want TO see IL wasted.
| Housewife. do you know what those
threshing hands will think Of you i.
you set them down to quantities of
white bread. II you have big sugar
bowls on the table, and serve rich,
sweet pies and fine white cakes? They
Twill 20 home and say TO their wives,
Mrs. So-and-So isn't following the
food regulations and she ought to be
reported"
DO YOU know, too. that when you set
q man who has a son or brother in the
army down before such a meal, IL
chokcs him?
One Of our finest farm housekecpers
was telling her experience cooking for
thrcshers. just the other day. She said
at first she planned to serve light bread
only; then she realized those men were
like her men, used to conserving. and
she baked corn bread. and found that
two plates Of cornbrcad disappeared 10
one uf light bread. She swectcned a."
apple sauce with sorghum. using lit
tie soda when starting the apples O.
cook. She swcctcncd her iced tea be
fore serving, using two parts corn sy-
rup to one Of sugar. She served ginger
cookies made Of rice flour, and cherries
for dessert.
If you are really conserving, you
can serve two or three meals TO thresh-
The Holt County sentinel., 1918-07-26
From Lieutenant sam Hibbard.

Through the kindness of Judge Geo
W. llibbard, We are permitted to PUT
, lish the following:
France, June %. i9iS.-Dcar Faith.
cr: You no doubt are wonderiup
where ] am and how ] am getting
along. Owing 10 the strict censor
which Is very essential. ! can only in
form you that ! am ut present very
comfortably located in small vilag,
in France. am ioomng with COUP,
that lost their only hoy two years ar
in the battle Of Ncrlun. I have hi.
| room. and ~ he was only boy Of l.
they have all Of his school books ana
his tools IA he left them IN his room
Ills picture hangs over the head Of ,h'
bed, and ~ nearly all Of the Frcncl
people are Catholics. they have Gro
| over the door and u large rosary on ,h,
wall beside my bed. They are very
nice Ia mo. but ! can't understand a.,
Of their lingo. This locality. IN par.
,icular. seems Ia he a century behinu
our people a, home. They Nill ~,
the az team and cut their hay with q
cycle. All the houses are made -.
stone. They show the results of wa
as IN" most of IN" men are gone and
all the young men that are here ~,
IN uniforms. II Is impossible To ca,
n lunch On the stree, without having i
lo2"n or more poor children to dvid,
with. There are no doctors In IN,
vicinity, and ] am quite often called I,
see the civilian population. | always
90 and do what ! can for them, AM
psy.r tbinL nf p,uki nV O., .hu... -, A., {,
The Holt County sentinel., 1918-07-26
REpE\TERs NAY CAUSE FAMINE
Purchases II sugar Must BE- Limited
10 the Needs Of the Household.

Columbia, Mo-. July 2i.-,Spccial
Retail groccrs are reporting 10 III,
Missouri Division of the Food Admin
istration that some housewives. bcconi.
ing panicky over the present sugar
and buying sugar that they may not
find themselves without "a supply II
an actual famine should come.
These "repcatcrs" are helping Ia
create u possible famine and will up.
set the entire rationing plan Of the
Food Administration unless they buy
sugar only as II h needed and limit
their consumption to three pounds n
month for each person In the house
hold, +. u. Mumford, federal food adj
ministrator for Missouri, declared to-
day.
"This three pounds a month plan, II
strictly adhered to, will insure an AIDE
puatc supply Of sugar" said Mr.. Mum
ford. ut Is a generous allowance com
pared to that of other countries. In
England only two pounds month are
allowed. one In France twhcn II eau
he obtaincd) and one in Italy.
at Is the aim Of the Food Admins
tration To distribute available supplies
of sugar cquitably. But this can moi
he done if 'repcatcrs' persist IN then
unpatriotic attempts To buy more than
their allowance and 10 hoard n supply
against u potential famine. Missouri
has been allowed u certain amount oi
sugar ON the basis of three pounds Il
month for every person IN the state