davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

Granulated Eyelids, Stiles, Innamed Eyes
relieved over night by Roman Eye Balsam-
One trial proves its merit Adv.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
a, Physical Impossi5iIity.

You can't split hairs over the
statement"
@Why not?"
Because there's nothing in it but
bald facts"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

He that lives upon hope will die
fasting.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Moral lesson for Mother.

Mamma" said Willie the other day,
ibid you tell Norah to say you were
not in when Mrs. Jones called?"
Eyes, DEAR"
'Ts it right to do ttaatY
''It is customary, Willie"
swell, mamma said the boy. after a
thoughtful pause. show would you like
1t If God shSnld tell ST. Peter to say
that to yoI when you got to heayenT"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

She-'T am just crazy about surf
bathing" He-"A dipsomaniac, thenw
The Lamb. ~!
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Importani to NMofners
unexpected Frankness,

Visitor-.How many men are study
ing at Lehigh| Host '18-"Oh! Not
half of them. '-Lehigh Burr.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

zenge" or Syrup" but real old fashioneG
dose OF medicine which cleans out Worms
or Tapeworm with a single dose. Adv.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

Jane, is my wife going out?" Eyes.
sir" do you know if 1 am going
with herr"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Necessary.

"Riches have wings"
"They need 'em to keep up with the
cost of living"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

The day is most fair, the CHEEKY wind
Haloos behind the hill.
Where bends the wood as seemeth good
And the sappling to his will!
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Nor for Anything Else,

THAT messenger boy could never
make political success"
"Why not7"
Because he never could be induced
to run for Office"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

In the game Of life good deal de-
ponds on good deal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

A postal card to Garfield Tea Co., Brook.
lyn, N. Y, asking for sample will repay
You. Adv.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

Some people are saddest when they
sing and there's q reason why.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Accounting for 1t.

"What makes the old fellow over
there such croker?" "He told me he
had frog in his throat
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Appropriately Dressed.

why do you wear that costumef II
looks like half mourning"
well, every evening when you come
home from the Office you complain at
being half dead
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

Sloth makes all things difficult, but
industry all easy.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Sneak Softly.

Speak softly; 1t Is better far
That angry words be barred.
Speak softly wheresoe'er you are
But keep ON thinking hard.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

What we call time enough always
proves little enough.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
FRUIT FOR THE TABLE.

If there is any one thing that appeals
20 the eye and thus affords pleasure at
tbo tohIo ~ &c a uyo,J.or y.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

1t doesn't pay to. bunko a woman
whose only asset is a gift of CAB.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
GOOD EATING.

From stale bread cut six slices, re-
move the crusts and butter the bread.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

It's love that makes the postman 60
around with lot of silly letters.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

HcmicidaI Language on Rifle Range.
Ofiicer-''Have you anyone else to
shoot, sergeant?" Sergeant-"No, sir.
I'll shoot myself now" Exchange.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18
Piles Cured 10 6 to l4Dava

Druggists refund money II PAZo OINTMENT fail
10 cure Itching, Blind Bleeding or Protruinr Piles
First application gives relief. b0c.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1918-01-18

what do you think of girl who
would break her promise?"
II should have to know what the
promise vas
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
On Being Fair
BY Francis Hackett

TN THURSDAYS Tribune there was an
article by Mr.. P w. Wilson entitled
"On Being English" The title sug
gests cool and pellucid essay by Robert
Louis Stevenson, but Mr.. Wilson's is not
the mood of the essayist. 1t is the mood of
the controversalist. On last Saturday he
had spoken at the McAlpin before a con-
ference of small and subject nationalites.
At that conference Mr.. Wilson heard some
things he didn't like and said some things
the audience didn't like, and the object of
his article, "On Being English" is twofold:
first to put the behavior of that wicked
conference on record, and, second, to re-
lieve his own feelings.
Nothing is more fun than to relieve ones
feelings, especially at the other fellows
expense. But important as it is to relieve
ones feelings and to "Be English" it is also
important to be decent, to be fair and
square. do not think Mr.. Wilson has been
fair and square on the subject Of this
wicked little conference.
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21

nile illiteracy by making the whole city
one school district. Fifth Avenue pays
for First Avenue; the skyscrapers are
taxed to provide teachers in Thieves
Kitchen. Nationwide extension of the
same principle alone can Danish IL
literacy aud make the foundations safe
for democracy
In New York State q beginning has
been made. Waysde and village schools
are helped from fund which the cities
must replenish. No approach to equal
ity of school opportunity has, however.
been reached The offspring of the
Czecho- -Slovaks now coming up the bay
will be compelled, next week, 10 par
take Of richer school feast at Father
Knickorbockcr board than half the
youngsters Of American stock, upstate,
can ever cat.
And the disparitics Of educational
opportunity from state TO state arc
more startling. Among the negroes in
all states 80 per cent, in Louisiana Of
al the population 20 per cent are il
literate. The nation leaves education
to the states the states leave education
TO the districts. SO each district pro-
vides what it can out of its resources.
Cooperation of rich districts with poor
districts is necessary TO equalization Of
opportunity.
Senator Hoke Smith, of Georgia, has
introduced into Congress a measure ''to
appropriate money for Federal coopera-
ton with the states in the encourage
ment and support of education" The
measure contemplates the expenditure
of $100,000,000 by Congress and like
sum by the states. Having become ha-
btuated to think in billions for war, will
the nation think in hundreds Of millions
for education?
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21

rmination than the condiment Of polite
reinsurance. And then, behold, Mr.. Wilson
got the notion that he had been trapped
into a conference with outcasts and law
breakers and refugees and secondstory
men, a conference "to break up and dis
tribute the British Empire"
1t has elements Of humor in it, of course.
An exceedingly mild and respectable British
journalist finds himself in hot conference
with men of different kidney. He realizes
all at once that he may be miserably misun-
derstood by his good friends in the British
Embassy He may forfeit his passport. He
may be bounded by the National Security
League. He may lose the sympathy of
Alton B. Parker. All this is heavy in the
balance against the wrongs of India and
Egypt and Ireland. And those wrongs be-
come infinitely trivial as Mr. Wilson hears
himself Kissed.
1t IS, perhaps, forgivable, under such cir
cumstances, that Mr.. Wilson should really
come to believe that the conference was act
ually an attack on the British Empire, an
attempt to turn Woodrow Wilson into cul-
prt and an effort to stimulate the big navy
programme Of the United States in the in
terests of ant-Brtish sentiment. When
one is Kissed, ones judgment is affected,
and the things one imagines are the things
of which one is most afraid.
Mr.. Wilson's unfairness consists in
maintaining in cool blood the veracity of
these excited suppositions. He accuses me,
for example, of "attacking" his country be-
cause | said there is no Liberalism out
side the Labor party" Supposing did say
this, which | did not, is it an attack on Mr..
Wilson's fair country? Is it anti-British
sentiment? IS it part of an effort to sup
port big navy and twist the lions tail and
break up and distribute the British Empire
My topic, as a matter of fact, was keep
ing the American Spirit Right" 1t had
nothing to do with Ireland, and | avoided
mention of Ireland. l only mentioned Eng
land in regard to Mesopotamia, Africa.
China and Russia. The reason Mr.. Wilson
took this to be attack is his failure to
realize that his own conception OF Great
Britain does not permit an understanding
of the awkward facts that were proposed to
hlm by the Saturday conference. Those
little to do with suggesting President Will
sons Intervention behalf of Ireland
They have everything TO do with the dualism
of Great Britain and the dualism of the
United States, and the danger of not seeina,
that the objects of the war may all go to
pot unless the common people of both
countries take the matter in hand
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
a Necessary Postponement

The decision of the New York Yacht
Club against Sir Thomas Lipton's cha-
lenge seems unquestionably sound. The
reasons given represent the general
American attitude. BY next summer
we may all be in mood for yacht rae
ing. But to plan for such an event
now, with peace, final peace, still far
away and untold problems of readlust-
ment still untouched, goes against the
grain.
The unfortunate part of the affair,
that every one will regret, is that it was
necessary to spread this matter of senti-
ment upon the public record. If Sir
Thomas Upton had made an informal
and private inquiry the issue could have
been settled by frank, personal dis
cussion But the publicity of the chal-
lenge came from the other side, and the
New York Yacht Club had perhaps no
option but to give the decision equal
publicity
1t IS only postponement, of course,
as the note to Sir Thomas makes clear.
There is here a heartier good will toward
England than ever before, and interna-
tional yacht racing will surely beAr
sumed with more zest than ever when
once the war and it's works are safely
INST
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
BACK HOME STUFF
Captain Rafe Sanders

Captain Rafe Sanders ran the ferry
boat Champion back home Folks along
Front Street used to know it was 8
o'clock when they would see Captain
Rafe coming up the levee with his lam
term He always stopped in at Le-
Clerq's, on Court Street, to help put
Pappy LeClerq, who was paralyzed, to
bed.
Captain Rafe weighed nearly 800
pounds and had heavy set of whiskers.
He never wore a collar but wore boiled
white shirts. He carried red peppermint
drops in his pocket for the children who
came from over in Mason County with
their parents to go shopping in town.
Captain Rafe was bachelor, and in
the summer time he and Bub Thornley,,
his pilot, slept in the engine room of
the ferry, but in the winter Captain
Rafe had a room over Menager's seed
store.
He got up at 4 o'clock every morn
ing, and it was while on his way to work
during the 'S3 blizzard that he found
Colonel Lon Patterson's body in the
snowdrift in front of Suffers racke.
store.
Captain Rafe was very profane, and
he smoked uncured leaf tobacco in CLAW
pipes and used snuff He had q carved
hickorynut watch chain and a watch
with the leaning tower Of Pisa painted
on the face.
He attended the brick PRESBYTERIAN
church now and then, and usually went
TO sleep and snored, and one Sunday he
fell out of his seat into the woodbox.
He was a steady drinker, but no one
ever saw him intoxicated. When Ed
Abbott was killed Captain Rafe took
little Tena Abbott to raise He took her
to the Chicago Worlds Fair and to see
Mammoth Cave.
Captain Rafe died one evening after
eating dinner at the Little Gem Restau
rant DR.. Crimlish said it was from
overeatlng. DOM.
This is the time Uhen man faces
the final choice between q Christmas 1;st
ana ms bank account. 7. f. V.
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
Ear Splitting Welcome
TO the Editor of The Tribune

10 the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir: Very frequently of late the bic
siren whistle the top of the steam-heat-.
ing plant near The East River front and
somewhere in the neighborhood OF John and
Water streets has been used as a welcome
10 returning soldiers. understand that
the whistle was placed there as part of the
aarm system installed by the city at the
time when it was thought that Manhattan
might be in danger Of unwelcome visits
from German aeroplanes.
Oi course no one questions the good IN
tentions Of the people who use its noisy
ear-splitting welcome to indicate the warmth
Of greeting 10 returning soldiers, but has If
ever occurred to the person who is respon.
sible tor letting loose its terrific note ~
welcome that for the wounded soldiers a.,
board the returning ships the noise causes
most eNcruciating agony? Any one who
mas suffered from wounds or the result 81
eerious illness will appreciate the suffer
sng oi The Home coming patients resultino
from the shock t. sensitive nerves.
New York, Dec. 1s, 1918, Elm.
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
The lump Concept

Anglo American cooperation is intensely
desirable, as | it, but it has few advo-
Gates so dangerous as the we'll meaning Eng
llshman of whom am speaking. The rea-
son for this is simple. With all the good
will and liberalism" in the world, Mr.. VIII
son is clinging to the obsolete Germanic
notion that the real Great Britain is the
official Great Britain and that any criticism
OF the situation Of subject nations within
Great Britain is unwarranted "intcrvention
IN the affairs of the British Empire" You
cant take UP this arrogant attitude without
destroying shc very basis Of Anglo American
cooperation Mr.. Wilson may interpret every
reference to Ireland or India or Egypt as a
proof of antiBrtish sentiment But is If Oh
iigatory on Britons in America to adopt and
condone every example Of their governors
stupidity and muddle and Incidence and in
justice? The only way, surely, to get q
clear understanding between Britain and
The world is for Britons to get rid of their
amour propre and to face like men the ALL
round problem Of elf-Cetermination and
nationality. You can't preach self-deter-
mlnation, after all, without being asked Ia
practise what you preach. This give-and
take can never satisfy Miner and Curzon
and Carson, but theirs is precisely the
Britain to which democrats cannot trust
themselves. And so, in holding to his lumn
concept OF Great Britain NJ. Wilson goes
pathetically astray,
Inc fact that he goes astray ;s not ar
Immediately important, however. as his sct
ual misrepresentation Of those with whom
he disagrees. That misrepresentation con-
s's'S IN his perverting the conference into
an attack on Great Britain 1t was wrong
of NF Wilson's audience to Miss him as a
traditional enemy. In that degree, under
'tnaC provocation, there was anti-Britisb
1eehng. But it was wrong Of Mr. Wilson 20
parry by ascribing traditional motives to
persons Ike myself, whose words were
plain / assure Mr.. Wilson that | am not
pent on prosecuting the poor little British
Empire But II he raises the question OF
England, he should certainly consider the
Aii2ea' principle Of self determination, with
"nlch ne agrees and tell US, since he saws
ms role IS that of Ambassador or mis-
sionaFy what plans are middle class Eng
iand making For its genuine application.
S.nn Fem, it seems has swept ireland. It
has wiped the Nationalist moderates out of
existence There is no doubt that the vast
majority Of lrishmen now demand self-de-
termination. Liberal England is pledged to
self-determination What will Liberal Eng
land do7
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
A Burleson Disclaimer, by Proxy

The obscurity that shrouds Mr.. Burle-
sons plans in the seizure of the cable
systems deepened to black fog yesterday
with the return of Mr. Newcomb Carlton
from Washington. Mr.. Carlton denies
that the seizure was any part of scheme
for government ownership Of the whole
cable and wire service Of the country
and asserts that when the "emergency''-
whatever that was--has passed the gov
ernment "will return the cables with a
benediction.' Nevertheless, it appears
that "the government plans an extension
or the cable service, the better to cope
with the increased foreign commerce."
and these extensions are to be made be-
fore the return.
In other words, the government pur-
poses to make such "extensions'' as it
pleases, and presumably will then return
the properties to their owners, with the
bill. Then, with Mr.. Theodore N. Vail.
president of the great American Tee-
phone and Telegraph Company, sitting
at Mr.. Burleson's right hand as his "of
hcial adviser,' and Mr. Carlton, of the
Western Union, alter ego of the telephone
company, in charge Of the cables, we
shall have curious picture The lion
and the lamb-or shall we say the lion
and the fox?-lie down together. Mr..
Burleson, apparently with Mr.. Wallis
sanction--certainly without any protest
makes what purports to be "sweep-
ing reductions in telephone rates, and
Mr.. Burleson, apparently with Mr..
Cartons sanction, is to make important
extensions, as government beneficence,
TO perfectly solvent and remarkably
prosperous companies-all in an "emer-
gency" that, so far as any sane man can
see, exists only in Mr.. Burleson's imag-
nation. SO the mystery deepens.
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21

Minority Socialists themselves will fare
very badly at general election
The danger from those elements lies
in their daring energy rather than in
their present numbers. They may
stampede the German public, and do it
with greater success than in their at
tempts to stampede this congress of
Workmens and Soldiers Councils at
Berlin.
Nevertheless, it is 10 be expected
that the Ebert t-Scheidemann Socialists,
hacked by other moderate elements of
Germany through the present perpleXi-
ties. till the meeting of the constitu-
tiopal convention.
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
Polite Reinsurance Not Wanted

All, says Mr. Wilson, but achy was moth
ing heard about Morocco or about Tunis
mot q word was said by Morocco or
TUnis, which affect countries other than
England" The obvious answer, I suppose
IS the shocking political negligence Of the
Moroccans and Tunisians. No delegate was
sent by either of these great peoples to
the McAlpin Hotel. The delegates that
were lett were mainly Irish and Hindu dele
gates, judging by the bitterness that
efiloresced when England was be-praised and
the general unfriendliness to Mr.. Wilson's
attempt to submeree the issue in iam
Here you see the fix in which Mr.. Wilson
found himself. Instead Of conferrinf- with
Bohemians and Serbs on self DIFFERENTIATION
within the Central Empires, he was spd-
denly called on to confer with Irishmen and
hindus on self-determination within the
British Empire. For a gentleman with tho
recognized British passion for Jam il WAS
clear there was only one thing to do-to
iced Jam to the angry Hindu. What IS
very wrongly called the British Emnirs
But the Indian enthusiast and Esvnt;an
exile and Irish extremist" wanted some
thing more substantial in the way of self
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
A Dozen Anti-SuHrage
Senators

TO the Editor of The Tribune
Sir: viii you please print this ir The
Tribune? On December 18 the United
States Senate passed the amendment i'm
posing 10 per cent tax on profits from
chld labor products entering interstate
commerce. The vote was so to u, with the
Democrats casting all the negative votes.
On the rollcall the following Senators voted
against its adoption: Bankhead, of Ala
Dama; Beckham, of Kentucky; Hardwick. Of
Georgia; Martin, of kentucky; Pollock Of
South Caroina Simmons, Of North Caro-
lima; Thomas, OF Colorado; Underwood. of
Alabama; Overman, of North Carolina.
Williams, OF Mississippi; Smith, OF Geor
gla, and Smith, of South Carolina. All Of
these Senators, excepting Thomas. who
comes from woman suffrage state, and
Pollock, who was not in the Senate in Or
tober, voted against the national wo,nan's
suffrage amendment on October !.
Comment seems unnecessary. Senator
Thomas, like our own late State Senator
Elon 4. Brown, has doubtless decided not
10 run for Office again.
ELIZABETH SELDEN ROGERS
National Woman's PARTY.
New York, Dec. IS, 1918
New-York tribune., 1918-12-21
Undemocratic Ill;teracy

Ia his annual report Secretary Lane
calls attention to the saddening truth
that 10 per cent of the population of
these United States can neither read nor
write. He pointedly asks:
What should be said Of q democracy
which calls upon its citizens to consider
the wisdom of forming q league of ma
tions when Is per cent of the
coming citizens Of that democracy do
not GO to school? What should
be said of democracy which is chal-
lenged by the world to prove the superb
ority of its system of government over
those discarded, and yet is compelled
TO reach many millions of its people
through papers printed in some foreign
language?'
Here is revealed a wide joint in our
democratic armor America, let US con-
fess with shame, is less we'll schooled
than England or France or despised
Germany. To equalize educational op
portunity is task which the National
Security League summons the Republic
TO undertake with the same spirit of
patriotic self-sacrilice with which II
girded its loins for war.
llliteracy is 2 conconitant of poverty
poverty personal aud communal. New
York and Boston, whose school systems.
despite obvious defacts. axe nowhsrs in
saa Gos!d sxcs!leds have banashed juve-