davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
System m DRESSING.

And just a word about system In
dressing: II you are systematic about
making your toilet you will save an
appreciable number Of minutes. Nor Is
It wise to trust the dressing program
to memory. Tack up q little card some
where with the various stages In dress
Ing written thereon. numbered and In
order. Then you win be sure Of set
ting out without any Qualmo about not
being above criticism In the little
things.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
SEND FOOD TO U. S. cAPTVES
ARRANGEMENTS Completed Under Which
Letters and Eatables Can BE Sent
20 Camps In Germany.

Washington, Feb. 10. American
folks at home can make life q bit cas-
Ter for their boy at the front II the
fortunes Of war land him In q German
prison camp. With American troops
taking an everincreaslng part In the
actual lighting, international arrange
ments were completed under which let
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
Lauds Troops on Tuscania.

Washington, Feb. 13.-Secretary Of
War Baker in his weekly review of the
European war made public here, notes
that German re-enforcements brought
from the Russian front are piling up
against the western line. Back Of these
are additional Austrian troops with
drawn from the Italian and eastern
sectors.
The secretary paid q nne tribute to
the GOODNESS Of the American troops
aboard the Tuscania and to the Brit.
ish for their work Of rescue.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
Easy.

Brown (who is engaging a parlor
maid during his wife's absence)-And
why did you leave your last place?
for letting master kiss me, sir.
Brown-Ahem! You HIM - may
consider yourself engaged.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22

In the way Of ''undies," there u Z
novelty br~assiere on the bandeau Or
De- Il Il made entirely Of real nlet
lace. with Z lifted dlaphram band and
. lining of Aeeh-cologed neG
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
In Britain.

"One could hardly call her good
looking" "Oh, no: but she's so rotten
sweet and devilish amiable."
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22

MiIitarists Are Willing to Slaughter
Millions for Unjust Peace, Declares
President in Address to Joint ses-
sion Of congress-Declares Austria
Would End Conflict II Ally Sane
toned Move.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22

Money talks conclusively, but oc-
casionally 1t gets ratified.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22
HAVE YOu 9ARRcN cows :,

HAVE YOu DARReN cows 7,
Are your mares or Bows trOuble4
0culty By feeding
DR.. Dovtd ROboftsp
SPEEDING TONIC Rrtceel.O0
II Acts on the organs Of roprOductl01
Ing condition.
Rod IL ProeNeej Hooe veeoriaarioA
ooal ~ fsee beeA1sl - Absgtjsa u CeW0
II NO dealer In your town. write
Vi. c.. ~ esaa6 Asoaso. ussAssAa. IN
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1918-02-22

But she entered this war because
she was made q partner. whether she
would or not, In the sufferings and in
dignities inflicted by the military mas
ters Of Germany, against the peace and
security Of mankind, and the condi-
lions Of peace will touch her as nearly
as they will touch any other nation to
which Is entrusted a leading part In
the maintenance Of civilization. She
cannot see her way to peace until the
causes Of this war are removed, It's re-
newal rendered as nearly as may be
impossible.
1.-THE war had its roots In the dis
regard Of the rights Of small nations
and OF nationalities which lacked the
union and the force to make good their
claim to determine their W al
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
SPLENDID WORK OF DIVER
Feat of Underwater Repairing on
Wrecked Steamer Is Given High
Praise by Shipping Men.

One of the most remarkable fcats in
the history of American labor, accord
ing to Capt Louis Turner represent
ing marine underwriters, was the sub
marine repairing of a steamer sal
vagcd off the California coast by a
diver named Theodore WickS. The
success of this man in his perilous
work made it possible to raise the YES
sci for further important service in the
governments war program where ship
ping is so urgently needed.
There were fully 100 patches Of tenn
porary nature to be put on the shatter-
cd sides of the vessel while it was
humping about on the rocks, making it
by all odds the biggest job of the kind
ever attempted on the Pacific coast.
The biggest patch was ten feet wide
and 16 feet long. Three layers of inch
plank, with canvas between, were used
in patching. This kept the water out
while the ship was being pumped.
Large numbers of shipping men Wis
tied the dry dock where the ship went
after Diver Wick's exploits, and were
astonShcd that it had been possible to
salvage the vessel at all. The divers
work is viewed all along the coast as
an inspiration to labor in its great task
of winning the war;
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
As Good as a Gold Mine.

Professor White estimates that no
fewer than 100000 600 gas mantles are
used every year, and as these gas
mantles cannot be manufactured with
out substance named thorium, the
necessity for obtaining large sup
ply Is obvious. Some time ago the
manufacturers were, indeed, at loss
to discover sufficient for their pur-
pose Their anxiety was removed
quite Unexpectedly when stranger
walked into the office Of one OF the
great incandescent companies and
offered to show where an unlimited
supply could be obtained.
He demanded C 100000 for the in
formation, and this sum the campany
readily undertook to pay. The di-
rectors were, however, doubtful OF his
ability to carry out his promise, but
after obtaining a contract he took
representative Of the company to Bra
zil, where huge deposits Of thorium
were discovered. From this place most
Of the thorium now In use Is obtain
ed. The stranger had discovered the
find quite accidentally.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Reward of the Politician.

When Ollie James, now junior
United States senator from Kentucky.
first broke into politics in his native
county Of Crttenden he had occasion
to try case before rural magis-
trate. When the trial was ended. says
the Saturday Evening Post, the mag
istrate invited the young lawyer to
70 home to dinner with him. AS they
sat down at the table the old man
said.
collie, 1t pains me nightly to see
you messin' in with politics"
"Why so?' inquired James.
collie, my son" said the magistrate
politics amt fittin' pursuit for any
young man. Look at me! ] started
in politics when ! was young and
hopeful, jest like you are now. | have
held all the positions Of trust In the
gift Of the people OF my home dis
trict-I have been school trustee, road
supervisor and constable, and justice
Of the peace. But now, as an old man,
all I've got to show for my years OF
ceaseless political activity Is lot OF
warm enemies and cold friends
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Smoke-Cured.

To be strictly accurate, It was not
a smoking compartment, but the
youth was putting away at a chubby
brlar, despite the panied expression
on the old lady's face. BY and by
the old lady, who was the only other
occupant Of the carriage, began to get
excited.
young man." she barked, as far as
her coughing would permit her, do
you know that it's wrong to smoker"
WELL" replied the lad, as he en-
veloped the old party in wreath of
pungent smoke, 81 use tobacco for my
health"
HEALTH" calculated the victim. in
spluttering tones Nonsense! You
never heard of any one being cured
by smoking"
"Yes, | have" declared the youth,
still putting away like furnace Chin
ney; that's the way they cure pigs"
"Then smoke away" cried the
heroine Of the story; there may be
hope for you yet"
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
DESPERATE LEAP FOR LIFE
Parachute the Only Hope Of occu.
pants of Observation Balloon
Destroyed at the Front.

A British observation balloon, an
cables cut by enemy airplaneS, and
the balloon Soared thousands OF feet
upward into the clouds. A writer In
London Mail, who witnessed the
incident. describes what followed.
From the point where it vanished, he
says, we presently saw one small
Sn"rE. then anothcr, dropping from the
clouds. For some hundreds of feet
they fell like dead weights, then para
rhutcs opened, and the SpccES, now
revealed as men, were stcadied In
their earthward course, floating rap
idly, but safely, to the ground.
After the balloon got free, they had
destroyed their paners and instru-
mcnts, clambcred over the side of the
basket, and leaped for life into the
great void beneath them, trusting that
the parachutes strapped round their
waists would open when they should.
Think of that dcencratc spring into
the vast, gray vapory nothingness be-
meath the balloon; the feelings or the
mon as they made it, uncertain of
what would happen; the awful sensa-
tion of casting yourself blindly from
such an appalling height with the
knowlcdgc that only a flmSy piece of
material, which might act rightly and
might not, interviewed between your
self and crash into the earth many
thousands of feet below; the tense
strain of the stone-liko drop through
two hundred feet of the void before
the parachute opened, and then the
anxious mental query, through the
later stages of the descent: "What
shall l light upon?'- matter of SUI
prcmc consequence that chance gov
erns absolutely In this case the men
made a safe landing
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
TOO MUCH FOR HERO
Faces Hun Rain Of Steel With
out FIinching.
But Finds Task Of Writing Letters OF
Lieutenant's Death Impos.
sible,

Paris.-He wore rough doughboy's
uniform, fuzzy and wrinkled, but there
were captains bars upon his shoulders.
Every doughboy passing the table at
which he sat upon the Paris terrace
glanced at the bars, then at the uni
form and, though not required to do
so, saluted respectfully.
They knew at glance he was a
captain Of infantry, proudcst of titles.
1--WE had gone ahead ten kilOme-
ters," he remarked to a companion,
"when we stopped for a moment to
consult our maps. l had a few SER
geants, a couple of lieutenants and
young Lieutenant K with few
of his men who had come through all
right.
"Signal corps men were Stringlng
wire on small building facing the
little court where we were talking.
We were dog-tired Young Il
bent over my shoulder to look at my
map. A shell burst beside us. Fifteen
of our men were killed outright.
Many were wounded. l was Knocked
fiat.
young K was going fast. He
knew it, l had been father to the
lad-knew his family WELL He looked
down at his wounds and then finding
me beside him, my face and uniform
spattered with his blood but unhurt,
he smiled feebly.
"I'm all in he said. Then he put
his hand to his back and rolled over.
l turned my face away from the sight.
"'Good-by, Jack he said.
~ squeezed his hand-he was such
q brave kid-and he smiled as he died.
"That night Sergeant Casey opened
my door Of sacking. With my head
in my hands I was sobbng like kid,
| had tried to write n letter to his
folks-and couldn't. Sarge was wise,
for he coughed and went away"
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
To Have House Painted.

1t was a simple boyish letter writ
ten in London by youth from WOr-
ccstcr, Mass, with little bit Of news,
little bit of complaint, and great
big bit of confidence in what he and
the Americans were going to do; bpt
the better part by far was: II have
saved my pay for some time now, and
/ want to give dad surprise by hay
ing the old house painted. Wont you
please let me know how much 1T will
cost? and I'll send you the money and
leave the rest to you, but you mustn't
let dad know who is paying for It,"
That same evening on a train, among
the missing and reported as prison
er, read the name of the aviator who
wrote the letter.-The Outlook,
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
ONE ON THE TOWN PR0BER
Mrs. HilPs Weli-Lald Plans Did Not
Afford Her the Satisfaction
She Expected.

The neighbors were in an uproar.
Miss Joy. the beautiful and charming
social light, had suddenly crawled In
to her shell. Not only had she abb
sented herself from dinners, recep-
tons, and bridges, but she had not
even appeared on the streets. In
ouiries at her home disproved the
general opinion that she was ILL., The
mystery deepened, Miss Joy had SIM
ply became recluse.
II can't understand It," said one Of
the more curious. "She has never
gone to the woods like this before.
She doesn't even drive any more"
Probably there is something awful
behind it," replied another, with a
glimmer Of keen enjoyment In her
eyes.
Still the belle. failed to put in her
appearance. Gossip became intense,
until finally Mrs. Hill, the town-prober,
decided with grim determination to
find out the real cause OF the retire
ment. She outlined her plans to her
friends with zest.
81 will issue invitations to tea to-
morrow afternoon and will send one
to Miss Joy Later will call her over
the telephone, insisting that she at
tend She will refuse, and then shall
demand to know the reason"
"A perfect ideal" assented the 9TH
ers in chorus,
"Of course, won't have the tea
continued Mrs. Hill. THAT will be un-
derstood among all OF u.s."
"Oh, certainly" came the disap-
pointed response 1--WE only want to
find out the truth"
Tho invitations were issued. and
Mrs. Hill Immediately opened tele-
phonc communication.
Hello, is this Miss JoyH" she be-
gan.
"Yes."
"This is Mrs HILL supposed you
received my invitation to the tea!
Now, l won't take any excuse. You
must come"
mo need Of excuse" sweetly chirp-
ed Miss Joy. 81 shall be more than
delighted to be present"
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
New Lioht on Term 20. X"

President Wilson has his own way
of doing things, and he also has n
very good reason for doing them his
own way Not only does that apply
to matters of worldwide Importance
but to trivial things as well.
In signing unofficial documents-on
official documents he formally writes
"Approved'-the president of the Unit
ed States precedes his signature with
the word "Okeh'
One of his secretaries, suddenly
realizing the significance of the word,
asked the president why he did not
write 20. T."
Because that's wrong" said Will
son.
"Wrong" echoed the secretary.
"Isn't it derived from Andrew Jack
sons Orl Krecht|"
"No,' said Wilson. 40, X is often
enormously used for 'Okeh,' which In
the Choctaw language means, 1T is
so.'"
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
TOUCHED BY SERVICE FLAG
Youngster on Brink Of Disgrace Re-
solved to Be Worthy Of Emblem
Displayed In His Honor.

"Why the service flag?" Is an old
question, but from one of our middle
West towns comes new answer
A wealthy family in an Indiana
town had son, who had never done
anything to reflect honor on his fam.
ily---a family which was proud of its
famous ancestry. He didn't enlist
when this war broke out and then
tried to evadc the draft, but was com.
PEELED to go in recent call. He en-
tered training camp few miles
from his home town.
Rules and regular life were hard
for him. Smarting under well.
deserved reproof, he one night decided
to desert. He slipped away from tho
camp and under cover of darkness,
made his way to his home in order to
get his civilian clothes and better eff.
feet his escape.
Just as he was ready to scale the
front veranda of his home he noticed
the service flag in one of the houses
great front windows. There it was
III tle lhoSt piuNC thS
house afforded-a great silk flag with
its one blue star.
''It's for me-" the boy thought.
Through his mind passed the mem.
Ory of his life-a failure In winning
any of the honOrs his family had
wanted for him. No college diploma.
not even a high school one, had he re.
ceived-nothing except this one stal
in this flag had he ever let his people
claim as his contribution to the family
famous name.
He turned back toward the sidewalk.
"They'l get to keep that honor" he
told himself. "I'll make it bigger, too,"
and he slipped back to camp, elated
to find that his absence had not been
discovered.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Identified.

The two American war correspon-
dents were gazing at the conflict when
Kinkletop caught sight of a gallant
officer leading a charge.
His face is strangely familiar" he
said That Greek lieutenant, l
mean"
YES" said Blithers. "He used to
run the boot-blacking stand in that
barber shop over on Steenth avenue
and Umtp-iph street"
And just then the noble warrior
dashed madly past, and, forgetting
himself under the excitement of the
moment, turned and cried aloud to his
advancing troops:
Next! Shine!"
And the indomitable phalanx moved
steadily up the hill, giving the enemy
the worst polishing-off they had had
since war was declared.-Harper's
Weekly.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
WHO CAN RISE TO OCCASION2
Name Of Man Capable Of Formulating
"UmbrelIa Regulations" viii
Live In History.

With the passing of each rainy day
1t becomes increasingly strange that
no benefactOr of the race has been
prodded, gouged or spattered into pre-.
pairing manual of Umbrellas" Peo'
pie have been carrying some sort OF
protection against the rain ever since
anybody can remember, yet the only
thing they have really learned to dc
well Is to lose umbrellas. No tive
persons, not even lovers, can walk un'
der one umbrella without getting wet
and raincoats probably We're first de-
vised by a man who tried to carry an
umbrella over his wife's hat What
excuse is there for the person who
goes through q crowded street holding
an umbrella before him in charge
bayOnets fashion? An apology does
not exactly meet the requirements
after the tip of an umbrella rib has
been thrust into some ones eye
Folded, the umbrella is just as dan.
gerouS, when some one comes plung.
ing along the sidewalk holding the
umbrella at an angle of about As de
grees ahead of him, tripping every
one but himself. Then there is tht
person who tucks the handle under
the arm, so that an innocent person
may become speared on the sharp enc
which sticks out like a 60-foot tele
phone pole on 15-foot truck. Fur
thermore, wet umbrellas never were
intended as partitions between seats
even at motion-picture theater
There is no desire to distract the best
brains of the country from consider
alton of war problems, but some sort
of umbrella regulations are needed,
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Wheat Not a Necessary Food.

Wheat is not necessary, We are
accustomed to regard wheat as Il more
or less Indispensable article of diet
1t isn't. 1t is an article of luxury, and
absolutely nothing else. Wheat pos
SeSSeS over oats, corn and rice abSO-
lutely no nutritional quality for man
or beast. II has no more protein, and
no better protein. 1t has no more fat.
and no better fat. 1t has no mineral
salt better or in larger amounts. 1t
has no more fuel or better fuel. 1t Is
just one of the cereals, ard there isn't
the slightest evidence that it is the
best one, because so far as comparn'
tive tests are concerned in animals,
1t isn't the best one; it Is very far
from the best one.-A. +. Taylor, MD,
q. S. Food Administrator.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Portable Houses Form Hospitals.

The United States navy, with knock
down houses contributed by the Amer
lean Red Cross has been able to erect
n base hospital of 250 beds on an old
estate on the Irish coast. These port
able houses, ready to bolt together,
solved the problem Of lumber short
age. The hospital has staff of 1913
physicians and attendants and pain
tains its own vegetable garden, dairy
and poultry farm.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Called Halt on Lawyer.

Laura Hamilton tells Of funny
courtroom episode which she saw one
day while playing in the south some
time ago.
A young lawyer had been appointed
by the court to defend man charged
with larceny. In his argument to the
jury he pleaded for the acquittal of
his client He told Of his innocent
boyhood days, Of his good character,
of his father. mother and brothers. In
short, he launched forth into a fam
lily history.
The prisoner, an old darky, had lis
tened with growing uneasiness to his
counsels plea. and as the attorney
went on without hint Of stopping.
the negro was driven to desperation.
Jumping to his feet. he yelled to the
court:
rs guilty, yo' honah; Is guilty!
De jury can't do no moh dan send me
to Jail fo' six months, but II dat fool
lawyer doan stop, deyll hang me fo'
suah!"
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
PROVERBS MOSTLY OLD
MAJORITY HAVE BEEN HANDED
DOWN FOR CENTURIES.
Same Meaning 10 Expressed In Vary
Ing Phrases Among Different Ma
tons.-Comments on Luck Are
Most Expressive.

Many proverbs have come down to
us from remote ages, and are com.
mon to all nations.
1t Is said that king of Samos
worked his slaves nearly to death in
making a vineyard. This provoked
one Of them to prophesy that his mas
ter would never drink the wine. The
king, being told of this, when tie
first grapes were produced took a
handful and, pressing the juice into
cup in the presence of the slave, de-
rided him as a false prophet. "Many
things happen between the cup and
the lip" the slave replied
Just then shout was heard that
wild boar had broken into the vine
yard The king, without tasting, set
down the cup, ran to meet 1t, and was
killed in the encounter. Henceforth
the words of the slave passed into q
proverh,
From this Greek original came two
French proverbs: Between the hand
and the mouth the soup is often split"
and "Wine poured out Is not swallow
ed" Neither is so near the original as
our English, "There's many a slip
twixt cup and lip"
1t Is curious to trace how similar
ideas have taken root In different Ian
guages and the various modes OF Illus
trating the same thought For In
stance, one or two familiar proverbs
A
bird in the hand is worth Two ~ the
bush" The same idea is expressed
by Italians when they say, Better an
egg today than a pullet tomorrow"
and the French proverb Is still more
significant. One here-itis Is better
than two youshallhave-its," Better a
leverel in the kitchen than wild boar
in the forest" Is the Livonian saying
conveying the same meaning.
The proverbs on luck are numerous
and expressive in all languages In
English we say, at is better to be
born lucky than rich" The Arabs con
vey the same idea in the apt proverb,
Throw him into the Nile and he Will
come up with a fish In his mouth"
while the German says, "lf he flung
penny on the roof dollar would
come back to him"
A Spanish proverb says, God send
you luck, my son, ?nd little wit will
serve YOU There Is a Latin adage,
Fortune favors fools" and 1t Is to
this Touchstone alludes in his reply
70 Jacoues "Cail me not fool till
heaven hath sent me fortune"
The Germans say, Jack gets on by
his stupidity" and "Forttna and wom-
en- are fond of fools" Thare is also
a Latin proverb which shows that the
converse of this holds good; Fortune
makes fool Of him whom she too
much favors."
Some unlucky Englishman Is re"non-
sible for the saying: "lf my father
had made me halter when would
have been born without heads" but
this can scarcely be called original,
as an unfortunate Arab, ages ago, de-
clared, 'If / were to trade in winding
sheets no one would die"
"Nisfortunes seldom come singly."
has many equivalents in all languages
The Spaniards say, Welcome. mis-
fortune, If thou contest alone" and
"Whither goest thou misfortune? To
where there Is mOre?'
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
BOY SEEKS FARM WORK LOAN
TweIve-Year.old Applicant In Kansas
ls Youngest to Apply Under
k Recent Act.

Wichita, Kan.-Verner Ditus, twelve,
Of Burdette. Kan., is the youngest ap-
plicant for seed wheat loan under
the recent farm loan plan to be re-
ceived by the Wichita Loan bank, ac-
cording to Supervisor L. M. Easta-
brook.
Young Ditus in his application says
he owns horse valued at $50 and
cow worth the same. He uses his ia
theirs machinery and wants $500 on
1O0-acre tract. The application Is
vouched for by the farm agent at Paw
brook. who says the boy enjoys good
reputation as farmer and q general
good reputation. His parents will have
to sign the mortgages, It is said.
Catoctin clarion., 1918-10-17
Wane Of Motherhood.

Ellen Key, writing In one Of the
magazines, deplores the wane of
motherhood, a constantly increasing
dslnclinaton to assume its RESPONSE
blities, she says, being everywhere
apparent The dsinclination is not
confined to any one class, she says.
but the work-worn druge and the idle
creature of luxury are both averse
70 It.