The Washington herald., 1918-03-16

Special correspondent OF the Washington Herald.
New York, March 1.-THE pygmy
anteater has arrived at the Ne.
York Geological Park. The pygmy is
colored bum and gray. works nights
only. walks with the assistance Of
four feet. one tail and one snout with
which he registers Indignation.
He eats ants coming. going or hest
| tating and longs for an escl more
simple existence than Omar. He asks
nothing more than an ant, a bouch,
no alcoholics and a bit Of privacy. To
say that he has no more interest in
the reader than the reader has in him
| is failing TO tell the reader the worst
Aside from his utterly unpatriotic
| appetite the most noteworthy char
acteristic Of the pygmy anteater is his
| love of quiet. Placed at Broadway
and Forty-second street he would be
| as self-conscious as the postmaster Of
| Branford. Conn, though probably not
/ as pale.
There is a reason for this. too. for
| the little anteater is 50 amusing when
angered that any zoological authority
( having any authority whatsoever de-
| lights in tickling. poking and tweak-
| ing the nose Of the diminutive crea-
tuIt. AS q lut
ture regards all geological authorities
! as the lowest of the low.
The pycmy anteater when touched.
| places his little paws before him AMI
makes no sound. In this respect he
/ differs from the metropolitan hard
boiled egg, who. when touched. puts
! his big paws in mis- pockets and gi.es
| of a loud roar of explanation.
The anteater in his native hauris of
! British Guiana is unburdened by ar
| bition, minds his own confounded
I business and, as is customary in sucn
cases. usually dies in the mud.
! In his cage in New York he mopsS
! around longing for a white ant or The
| descendants of the white ant who
| nowadays are either black with rage
or brown from study. II the reader
cares to learn more about the DH Smy
! anteater trains are lea-ing now and
then for the East and It would be bet
| ter to run over and see for yourself
The new theater of Harry Kemp. the
| tramp poet. has been opened down
where the serious thinkers thrita.
| There were no programs. Kemp an
nounced that programs were an Insult
to the intelligence of the audience.
IF you haven't enough intelligence.
said Kemp, ito understand my play
without a program. go elsewhere and
| get enough intelligence 10 come to my
| theater."
Kemp introduced each actor before
the play and each one had their own
| special curtain. He explained how one
actress had pawned ring for So 10
/ get her costume. kemp's brother n
| l,,.
musician would have cost toe mu"h.
| The first play was in verse and the
second one was "The PrudiGal Son. -
which protrayed Kemp's idea of wh1'
: really happened when the son -"t
! home.
The new theater has no r"servrd
seats or ushers. Women way smoke
! and so may the men. The @, oh, IT. a
leader didn't wear a collar. The first
! night audience was as interesting as
| Metropolitan first night.
Seen around the town: Sign in a
barber shop: Conserve Gas and iclr
| Win the War A Broadway detective
buying a microscope. An opera sihle1
auctioning off a patriotic little girls
hair in the lobby of a motel. 4 tnrI1rr
dancing star holding iown n cashier :
job in a white-tiled restaurant. !"nd
of hay passing along exclusive Park
| avenue. A man who looked lik" Nai~er
Wilhelm selling Thrift Stamps for 6
war charity. A department store
floor-walker with court plaster
beauty spot on his forehead. Co
lumbia professor trying not TO laus'
at a Charlie Chaplin film and ia'iin"
dismally.