The weekly Alaska citizen., 1918-03-04

Miss Jane Hall, and her powers OI observation were not wasted, as she sold her tickets from one business house to another.
 One of the court house bunch bought ticket, but the young lady thought he should buy two. 'If l thought 1 could get a girl to go with me l would buy them." Well" said the saleslady. you can't take Miss -. for Johnnie Kelly has al ready bought two tickets"
 DOING One Christmas a HIS (FOUR) couple of years ago BIT. Roy Ferguson pur
 chased a nice Christ mas tree and set it up against the fence for future use. When he got up the next morning it had disap- peared Inquiry among the neigh borhood kids put him on the track of Dan Morency, who is at present a candidate for an Outside school for incorrigibles.
 When located, Dan stoutly denied the allegation. and they talked for a while and Roy said: That was a dandy tree. and l wanted it for my little girl. It's too late to get another one. Why, l paid dollar and half for it."
 "Oh, h." said Dan, with look of disgust. T only got four bits for it!"
 SPEAKING One little four-year- OF KIDS old who visits her AND OTHERS elder neigh bors
 watched the lady of the house sweeping. My" said the hostess, q don't see how my house gets so dirty"
 My mother sweeps our house ev- cry day." quoth the child.
 Another young four-year old was sent by his mother to Geo. Moody's for some knitting needles, but was too late, as they had been sent to the library. A little while later he came home with two he had picked up at neighbours, and, with them in hand, went up to his old granddad and asked for some thread to knit.
 "Oh. you don't want any; you can't knit" said grandfather. who was reading.
 Huh" You want the Germans to lick us, don't you?" was the wrath full reply.
 COULD A regular patron of YOU BLAME The Biggest Show THE KID? on Earth" was walk
 ing up Front street the other day with her little daugh- ter when the little one exclaimed: "Oh mamma, here comes Charlie Chaplin Why don't he jump like he does at picture shows?"
 No, dear; that isn't Charlie Chap lin"
 Yes, yes, mamma! See him fall," as the man with the cute moustache slipped on the icy walk and nearly fell. Hush, dear; he will hear you; that isn't Charlie Chaplin, that's Bud Courtemanche."
 OH VANITY, The following dia- THY NAME logues are the actual IS WOMAN. conversations of
 some of the school girls and prove that from the cradle to the grave the ruling passion of woman is the same: "Oh Ruth, just look at those Freshmen; they are all wearing their hair just like we do. We can't have any class indi- viduality at all. The freshies just copy everything"
 Freshman: "Oh Margaret; just look at those eighth graders, they are letting their hair hang in long curls just becaues we do. Did you ever see such unoriginal kids. They repeat everything we say like phono- graphs and now they are pattern ing after our style of hair dressing" Eighth grader: "Oh Vida, look at those fifth and sixth graders. They are regular copy-cats. I've a notion not to let my mother do my hair up in strings any more. They are all trying to wear ringlets just be- cause we do"
 DEMISE The Tattler was con- OF SIS ing leisurely down JOHN. Cushman street to
 work one afternoon last week. and just as he reached Gordon's corner, got an invigorating breath of air that was like a breeze from an oasis to a sun-parched Arab in the Sahara desert. He took a good long breath, then another and another; his spirits arose and he hot-footed 1t down the street, deter. mined to find the orange grove from whence came the soul inspiring zephyrs. only to round the corner and discover the source-Pete Mo Mullen and two native trustees from