The Birmingham age-herald., 1918-08-24
Astonishing Things People Do
 Not Half So Interesting as
 Asinine Reasons They Assign
By DOLLY DALRYMPLE

|NF course you are always being as
 people in this world do, but that's not half so interesting as the perfectly asinine reason they assign for doing them.
 For instance; people get married, a commonplace thing enough to do, to be sure-but if you really knew their rea- son, they would perhaps be as interest,"
 ing as a page from Marie Corelli or Bertha M Clay.
 Of course if you asked them why they married, they'd probably say:
 Love; since it is love that is supposed to make the world go round
 But when they don't marry-if they only took you into their entire confidence wouldn't you hear some truly interesting reasons concerning their state of single blessedness?
 Once g. man (who had real good sense tool said he hadn't married Che was then sixty, or near iD because he was so afraid the girl would be disappointed in him; such humility of spirit, of course.
 is edifying to contemplate: certainly if is rare in masculinity; yet if he spoke the truth, you could easily understand why leap year customs were established.
 What made me think of all this was a story heard the other day about girl who was found weeping her heart out over the announcement of "rea1 estate transfers" in the daily paper and When she was questioned she declared that her Honeymoon house had been sold and her dream of happiness was over.
 It seems that in years past the girl had been frequent guest of the owners of the house, who,- because of her af- lection for the place often said that she might use it for her honeymoon, but now she had seen in cold gray type the announcement that the house was sold. and her vision of a blissful and perfect honeymoon gone world without end.
 Concerning possible bridegroom, 1t appears that there was none in sight when it came right down to brass tacks: but she said that didn't matter; a girl could always find somebody to marry Asinine? Yes, to be sure
 It seems that the house in question was all the more desirable the girl de- clared, because it was still within her reach. Not Somewhere in F'rance'' nor yet "CasMe in Spain but right in the heart of the nice old country she lived lI.-d1lu SuCn q WOuU6TIul Olu mousse WlLn such wonderful grounds and everything that she had always said she would have when she went a-honeymooning. And those are only a few of the reasons why this matrimonially shipwrecked per- son mourned; she yearned for clumps of locust trees no honeymoon would be com plete for her without stroll under great spreading locust trees; she wept for lilacs in a flower garden where everything would be beautiful and dainty and lovely; she lamented for the old fashioned pump with a handle and a big gourd dipper hanging by the side; violets, deep purple and fragrant, she longed for and murmur- ing woods that held a thousand secrets of delight
 In other words, this silly, romantic girl had for years built her high hopes upon this enchanted old place which looked out upon world Of beauty-a lawn tkat shimmered silvery beneath the frost of the early fall or when it decked itself out in daffodils when the year was young; sunsets painted the sky with glory and when May-time came, all bride-like and fair-it was before this old mansion that she tarried to don her veil of cherry and pear bloom or to weave wreaths of rosebud chain and apple blos-