The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1918-03-27
Mr.. SIMPkINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
By ROBERT McBlAlR.

tears. 1t was portrait of his father,
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
Neen promoted for valor during the
dvil War and had died bravely on the
ED of action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ehed now for two reasons: First, he
! >hverenced and adored the memory of
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
go to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
In Imagination, the khaki-clad lads of
: the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
| fight. maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
i see him, then he Strengthened and
Althrew his right arm up for a salute.
IBut his equity shoulder twinged, and he
Igroaned He couldn't even salute.
Damn said Mr.. Simpkins, and
with his other hand fiercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the Ii
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
ID s,,e+ oh 00A and hn
u-had been rather snappy on the sub
4 ject of taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income man has
the greater the percentage of it he
pays in taxes. He could think of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pay only a
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the information
that it asked for.
As Mr.. Simpkins' income was $4,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first class who must
nay taxes. that is, single men making
over LOCO. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed UP as follows:
First. they pay per cent. (under
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000 deducting 5000 for each of their
children under eighteen years. In Mr..
Simpkins' case this was 500, which he
put down in the payable column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
LAY, married men pay an additional 2
per cent on all over S2,000-with the
same allowance for children. This
added 1852 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
50, 800 jump in his income over $1,000
he had TO pay a SurtaX, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top of all this came an Eek
cess Profits" tax of per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, max
ing 500 more.
The total, then, he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whewr" exclaimed Mr.. Simpkins
angriIy There's young Henry Will
kins. who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $1,000 and he doesn't pay a
cent of taxes. l guess this is his war
- as well as mine!"
Thinking Of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was a lawyer, was aiding the Local
Draft Board with its questionnaires.
well" he admitted to himself,
''that makes difference"
He thought next of Judge Willough-
by, whose income was about $4,000.
"He only pays 500" commented Mr..
-- Slmpkins, not quite so angrily this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat UP rigidly in his chair.
Judge Willoughby's son had been
drowned on the Tuscania when it was
summarized with the loss of two hun.
dred soldiers.
Judge Willoughby gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. Simpkins
He leaned forward suddenly and put
his face in his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still in that position. There was
no sound in the library except the
ticking of the tall clock and an occa.
sional trill of laughter from the chill.
dren skylarking upstairs The square
of light on the carpet gradually with
drew itself through the window, and
frst twilight and then darkness settled
20 in about the quiet, white haired, some
times irascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward speal
Of he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into words
But some inkling of his thoughts ma!
be found in his rejoinder to Mrs
Simpkins when that placid lady came
in and turned on the lights, and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner
Judge Willoughby's only son wa
worth as much as fourteen hundre,
and fbirtv-four dollars wasn't he p