The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1918-06-27
Dinner Stories "a.

you've given up drinking, ]
hear" said the grocer to the town
bum. .'..
Amt teched a drop in month,
admitted the old fellow.
''WeH, you certainly deserve credit
for it." said the grocer.
"Just what was thinking my
self, Mr.. Green. Jest dropped In
to ask ef ye could trust mo foE
some groceries,
An old negro went to the office of
the commissioner Of registration in
q Missouri town and applied FOR
registration papers.
what is your Manner asked the
official.
George Washington" was the re-
'wer, George, are you the man
VINO out down the cherry tree?'
mo, sub, amt de man. I a4n't
done no work for nigh onto a year"
Riu-Do you know Coates, the
tstailor?, -e-
Gill-surely, I do.
HE had me in court yesterday"
For what?'
ooh, got a suit OF clothes from
him"
and didn't pay him, suppose?"
"Righto!"
''EIow did it come out?''
ut looks now as he's going to lose
two suits" .-
"Any animal with four legs" said
the teacher, els g quarduped, man
is g. biped. Now, can anyone tell me
what zebra is?'' s.E..a
Yes, miss" replied small boy. r
"a Striped"
The magistrate observed to the de-
fendaut: You seem TO have COM
mitted grave assault on complain
ant just because he differed from you
in an argument"
There was no help for it, your
Honor" said the offender. THE
man is a perfect idiot"
well, you must pay a fine Of $40
ana the costs, and in future you
are human beings, the same as you
and me-"
The ferocious- looking sergeant ma
jor was inspecting squad of young
recruits. Pausing in front Of one,
a. spinner, he said. "Have you shaw
ed with q glass this morning?'
mo, sir, was the prompt reply.
Then why the dickens didn't you?''
said the irate ergeant-major. -.
Because, personally, think a
razor fetches the hairs OF much bet
ter than a glass;" was the cool re-
ply.
$50 your boy Mike has gone to the
WARP"
And sure he has that"
They've had q great battle over
there, I'm hearing"
TITS the gospel truth"
So you heard about it?"
Sure and did. Didn't Mike tell
it to me on a postal?''
What did he say?'' ~.~
Sure he. said: One day General
Pershing came out of his tent and
says, says, he, rs Mike Brady here?
and Mike says, I am and he says,
says he, Let the battle go on!'
what is the name Of that hand
some prisoner" asked the impress
sionabIe young woman.
mo. 1905, Miss" replied the war
den.
HOW funny! But, of course, that
is not his real name"
' "Oh, no, Miss; that's just his pen
name"
During the extended drought down
in the land that inspires the
ragtime song writer's the "Rev'end"
George Washington called to suppl
cate the Lord for rain,
Before he opened his sermon the.
''ReV'end" surveyed his congrega-
ton very critically and with increas-
ing dissatisfaction. At last he
lamented: "A
de lack OBJ faith OBJ yo' niggers
is scandalous and sinful, and makes
my heart sore and weary, and plumb
afear'd for your souls. Heah we
hab gathered TO beg de Lord to stop
de drought dat lie burning up our
fields, and to bless us with rain in
abundance. And not one, no sab,
not one OF you disgraceful sinners,
had faith enough to bring an UNI
brella to go home with"
ST done had to go out collectin' fob
de missionary society,"" explained
the old oolored woman who was
wanted for some housework, accord
ing to Harris Dickson.
But I have work for you to do,
and You need all the money you can
get. What do you get paid for coll
lecting?" asked Mrs. Dickson.
Il don't get paid" said Mandy.
7 only gets what collect"
Neighbor -Halloa, Jenlzinsl How
are YOU? Haven't seen you In the
garden for quite while, and you
never come and see the wife and me
now. Why is that?
Jenkins Well, the fact lis, old
chap, that It's not through ilI-wilI
or bad feeling, or anything like that,
you know; only you and Msr. Poss-
more have borrowed SO many things
from me that when see your place
it makes me feel quite homesick.
Wont you come to one Of my
young mems evenings2 You should
always be careful Of what company
you keep. One becomes like ones
associates, you know
II don't know so much about that
num- Why, / been ISOLATED with
fish all my life and can't swim a
stroke"
The man In the next flat was
pounding on the wall
Look here, he cried. II can't
sleep with that kid ceiling like that.
If you don't make him stop, VIM.
Come right In" said the baby's
a.
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