The Watertown news. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1917-1919, 1918-03-20
MR., S|MPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT McBLAlR.

BY ROBERT McBLAlR
Mr.. Simpkins gazed at the portrait
on the wall till his eyes filed with
tears. 1t was a portrait of his father,
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valOr dL.'ing the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field of action. Mr. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First he
reverenced and adored the memory Of
his father; secondly, his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
go to war himself. And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncomprOmis-
Ing gaze Of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
In imagination, the khaki-clad lads Of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles of sea to
fight, maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for salute.
But his equity shoulder twinged, and he
groaned He couldn't even salute.
Damn" said Mr.. Simpkins, and
with his other hand fiercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the IL
brary and sat down creakily before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins' income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
ject Of taxes ever since he had discov-
cred that the more income q man has
the greater the percentage of it he
pays in taxes He could think of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar,
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half Of his, they would pay only a
small fraction of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling in the information
that it asked for
AS Mr. Simpkins' income was $1,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each of the successive smaller
classes of incomes in order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed ever TIE first class who must
pay taxes, that is, single men making
over 1000 His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay 2 per cent. (under
the 1916 law on all income over
$4,000, deducting 5000 for each Of their
children under eighteen years In Mr.
Simpkins' case this was 500, which he
put down in the "payable' column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional 2
per cent on all over $2,O0O-with the
same allowance for children This
added 1852 to his payable column
He then observed that for every
$1,000 jump in his income over $1,000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden
And on top Of all this came an "Ex-
cess Profits" tax of 8 per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, MAX
ing $720 more
The total, then, he must pay was four
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whew" exclaimed Mr. Simpkins
angrily. There's young Henry Will
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $4,000 and he doesn't pay
cent Of taxes. 1 guess this is his war
as well as miner
Thinking Of young Henry Wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was a lawyer was aiding the Local
Draft Board with it's questiOnnaires.
"Well," he admitted to himself,
"that makes a difference"
He thought next of Judge WillOugh-
by, whose income was about $4,000.
"He only pays 500" commented Mr.
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