The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1918-10-31

ter That the WhOle United states Will
know how it feels to live in Idaho.
An Emmett young lady says she can
stand meatless, wheatless and surgar-
less days, but she is mighty tired of
manless evenings"
"Name the five zones" said the
teacher. Temperate, Incorporate, war
postal and Or replied the bright pu-
pill.
This would be good time for Presi-
dent Wilson to lose his fountain pen
and let Foch and Ludendorff fight it |
out.
There is the comforting feature
about having the Spanish influenza
your friends don't call and tell you !
what to do for it,
A man recently shipped fine COW
hide that came off an 1,800-pound
COW and got $3.50 for it. And pair
Of shoes for his wife would cost him
$3.50. Who's getting the difference
A soldier boy has written TO the
home folks from France that it will
not take another year to whip the
Huns, bat that it will take 80 more
years to wind up all the barbed wire.
Probably the first time the Presi- :
lent of the United States was ever adj
dressed or referred TO in formal dip
omatic document as "his lordship" :
vas in the Austrian peace note. Don't :
ct il occur again, Austria.
whats all this noise about? ?" asked :
he newcomer as he stepped in the bar :
'er shop. "The. barber is shaving him :
ELF, said the chair warmer. "But
he argument ?" "He is trying to per- :
uade himself to have a shampoo" :
Another way to conserve paper
,ould be to compel the manufacturers :
( patent medicine dope to leave out :
he three reams Of printed testimo- :
ials wrapped around every bottle and :
hich nobody reads. :
Here's a song the boys III France :
re singing to the tune of "Katie:" :
ootie, you derner little cootie, Il
You're the only little louise that :
adore
nd when you bite me 4
light under the nightie
Then il makes me want to cuss you
all the more. i
.
A man called to take off some
ratches from the finish of the piano
a certain home one day last week.
hen he left, by mistake he left his
title Of piano polish and took the old
ans influenza medicine. The old
an is nearly we'll, and wants the pi
% man to tell him where he can have
e prescription refilled.
. =
An American soldier overseas was
the trenches. He stopped over to
* "cootie" out of his shirt. Just
en- an enemy shell went past where
; head had been Holding the 5000
/" aloft, he said: "Say you, | can't
corate you with the iron cross, but
am going to give you home for
e." And he put the "cootie" back in
shirt.
II happened right here A visiting
sterner stood on the veranda of
)ming house watching the sun go
wn in splendor of purple and gold.
v George" he exclaimed to an inn
ssive native lounging against a post
hats gorgeous sunset, isn't it ~
e native slanted his head little
lMof5 3ql ~ AUeoplIo poNooI puB
st. mot bad" he drawled. "Not
d for little place like Emmett"
The trench humor of all the AL
s." Senator james Hamilton Lewis
rs, "is good, but like our American
NOR best of all. Zone doughboy
d to another after night raid: 81
1 two Germans on my bayonet while
wuz takin' that communication
nch.' 'Ah, go on said the other
ighboy How do you know there
z two of 'em?' Because said the
st doughboy, Il heard one tellin' the
er to move up
The wife of farmer received Wis
from an unmarried sister in Chi
70. One day the threshers came
en- the married sister was i'll, and
Chicago girl made her go to bed.
, said she could get supper for the
eshers all right When those
eshers marched into supper that
hit they found sandwich tied with
bon. one chicken croquette, one
csc ball the size of marble and a
tonhole boquet at each plate.
Q q
! correspondent. who evidently de-
IS to do the right thing, asks upon
At occasions a gentleman should
se his hat We hasten to reply as
ows. towit: When the old flag
S by. before donnine wig or dye
the hair. when meeting lady,
IN taking bath. before going to
I. when taking up collection, when
ing on new hat, before being
or decapitated, when about
stand on the head. and possibly on
err occasions which your own in
igence viii point out to you.
= Q ----
Icoe arp like opn0rtnptty- seldom, tho;