Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1918-03-29
Mr.. SIMPKINS PAYS
HIS INCOME TAX
BY ROBERT MeeLAIR.

Mr.. Simpkins gazed at the portrait
on the wall TIL his eyes filled with
tears 1t was n portrait ~ his father,
Colonel Simpkins, who had four times
been promoted for valor during the
Civil War and had died bravely on the
field OF action. Mr.. Simpkins' throat
ached now for two reasons: First, he
reverenced and adOred the memory Of
his father; secondly. his age and his
eyes and his game leg wouldn't let him
20 to war himself And as he observed
the martial bearing and uncompromis-
Ing gaze of Colonel Simpkins he saw,
IN magma ton, the KHAKI! chad lads Of
the new generation marching forth and
crossing three thousand miles Of sea to
fight. maybe die, for liberty.
Mr.. Simpkins peered around to make
sure that neither Bess nor John (who
were at the teasing ages of sixteen
and seventeen) were where they could
see him, then he Strengthened and
threw his right arm up for a salute.
But his equity shoulder twinged, and he
groaned. He couldn't even salute.
Damn r. said Mr.. Slmpkins, and
with his other hand flercely twirled his
white mustachios.
He turned and limped into the H.
brary and sat down creakify before the
mahogany desk on which were lying
the blanks for his income tax state
ment, blanks which he had rather
grumpily got from the Internal Reve-
nue. officer only that day after lunch
con on his way home from the club.
Mr.. Simpkins Income for 1917 had
amounted to just about $4,000, and he
had been rather snappy on the sub
Ject of taxes ever since he had discOv-
cred that the more income a man has
the greater the percentage of It he
pays In taxes. He could think of sew
eral men who, like himself, were mar
ried and had two children, and yet,
although their incomes were nearly
half of his, they would pny only a
small fraction Of the amount he paid.
He gloomily drew the blank nearer
and began filling In the information
that It asked for.
AS Mr.. SinpkinB' income was $4,000
he had to figure out the amounts pay
able on each Of the successive smaller
classes Of incomes 10 order to arrive
at the total due from himself. He
passed over the first class who must
pay taxes. that ia, single men making
over 1000. His calculation for mar
ried men then showed up as follows:
First, they pay per cent. (under
the 1916 law) on all income over
$4,000, deducting $500 for each Of their
children under eighteen years In Mr..
Simpkins' case this was S212, which he
put down in the payable" column.
He saw next that, under the 1917
law, married men pay an additional 2
per cent on all over $2,000-wlth the
same allowance for children. This
added e252 to his payable" column.
He then observed that for every
$500 jump In his income over 5000
he had to pay Surtax, the percentage
growing larger with each jump. This
was $3.50 more added to his burden.
And on top Of all this came an FIX
cess Profits" tax Of per cent. on all
Occupation" income over $4,000, max.
ing $720 more
The total. then, he must pay was four.
teen hundred and thirty-four dollars.
"Whewi" exclaimed Mr.. SimpkIns
angrily. There's young Henry VIII
kins, who married Jake Johnson's girl,
he makes $4,000 and he doesn't pay a
cent. Of taxes. guess this is his war
as well as miner
Thinking of young Henry wilkins,
he remembered that Mrs. wilkins went
every afternoon to make bandages for
the Red Cross and that Henry, who
was lawyer, was aiding the Local
Draft Board with Its missionaries,
WELL" he admitted to himself,
THAT makes difference"
He thought next Of Judge Willough.
by, whose income was about $1,000.
HE only pays $50" commented Mr..
Simpkins, not quite so angrily this
time; and then thought struck him
and he sat up rlgldly In his chair.
Judge Willoughbys son had been
drowned on the Tuscanla when II was
summarized with the loss OF two hun.
dred soldiers
Judge Willoughby gave his son to
America" muttered Mr.. Slmpkins.
He leaned forward suddenly and nut
his face In his hands.
For a long time Mr.. Simpkins sat
very still in that position There was
no sound In the library except the
ticking Of the tall clock and an occa-
sional trill of laughter from the chill
dren skylarking upstairs. The square
Of light on the carpet gradually with.
drew itself through the window, and
first twilight and then darkness settled
In about the quiet, white haired. some
times lrascible old man.
Mr.. Simpkins was thinking things
which he would never afterward sneak
Of, he was thinking things that were
too sacred ever to be put into words.
But some lnkling of his thoughts may
be found in his rejolnder to Mrs
Simpkins when that placid lady came
In and turned on the lights. and asked
him whether he was ready for dinner
Judge Willouglhy's only son was
worth as much rs fourteen hundred
and thirty-four dollars, wasn't her"
Mr.. Simpkins demanded of her.
AS his wife, who was not unused to
his superficial rrltatlons, watched him
In mild establishment, Mr.. Slrnpkins
limped out to the hall and took his
old felt hat and silver-headed cane
from the hat rack. Letting himself out
into the foggy evening, he tapped his
way down to the corner, and mailed his
income tax statement and check with
his own hanus.
Nov. God he thanked" said MIR.
.aPkinS ns he lih thanked shut over
=. l.i.-t.,, - IN, II this n,nch fnr