The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1918-04-23
him to sing, so that he can display

thing Rotary is, since it cost him S.
in War Savings Stamps to get in.
Woodall, figuring how he can cam
outage a pile of clapboards so tina
it will pass for A No. 1 flooring.
Groover, convalescent after a siren
Gus advertising campaign on crutches
made in order to demonstrate tn
value of casualty insurance.
Malcolm, hoping that he may b
commissioned some day to preside a
the initiation into some organization
of George Broadhurst.
H. E. Memminger, who thinks h,
has in his own family the very bes
product of Naturesown.
Chiselbrook, turning out girl book
keepers and stenographers to take thu
places of the men who have gone tc
kill the Kaiser.
Lusk, who is one of the few men
who do not object to his bills being
posted all over town.
Moore-hot under the collar. be-
tween his pants, tries to explain his
many business ties.
Dale Williams-determin to be at
the Kansas City convention on time.
in APRIL he did not think it MAY be
JUNE.
withdrawing fondly of his lit
tie CHILD and the Advertiser.
Richards-w wondering why his pa
tient looked so long and lingeringly at
him when Doc told him to think of
something funny.
Doc Smith-can eye your eyes and
knows your nose but he makes some
things hard for your throat to swal-
low.
Charlie Williams says he has talked
castor beans so much he has an oily
tootC III HIS IlOuIH.e
Todd mot present. doubtless en-
barrassed at the wondering look of
the Rotarians in Cincinnati to whom
he has carried the credentials of this
Club.The members will appreciate his
difficulty in explaining the difference
between his credentials and his ap-
pcarance.
A newly formed business firm of
great interest to friends of the mem
Ders is the Edwards PARCEL company
Of this city. Mr.. E. G. PARCEL and |
Col J. S. Edwards have formed a
partnership to sell and demonstrate
he results of Seven Switzerland Sis
ers' Hair Tonic.
Mr. r. N. Skipper has severed his
with the Skipper-Groover
insurance Company, having made ar
whereby he will receive a I
'rincely income from the MELONS ;
food people for the use of his pie
ure in their ads.
dark skeleton has just emerged {
rom its closet. After keeping it !
ark for more than thirty years, Mr.. {
V. Stevens has had to confess that '
he | in his name is for Isaac. Since {
is taking on weight lately his
riends begin to fear that the w" is "
)r Voluminous. \
Wanted-A poor, unpopular and |
unlucky man to oppose +
lie in my race for a second term in q
ongress. Never having run for any t
ling without an opponent. | do not
Ike to begin at this time. Since | am :
reed to advertise, however, [ prefer II
person of this type. n
H. J. DRANE. "a
1t is common gossip in Washington
at Willie McAdoo is LOSING both
sh and sleep on account of his con-
ming jealousy of A. j. Holwurthy
this city. Until recently the
rown Prince Willie" believed him
If to be the holder of more official
sitions than any man in America
tely, however, he has heard OF a
IN who is secretary of Chamber Of -
secretary of the Rotary "'
lb, secretary of motor club, SUI Sd
Of a Sunday school,
ider in a church, executive secre. Sa
y of the Red Cross War Fund, and el
Ter things too numerous to men M
n IN
Fhe acquaintance of f. NJ Watts -
re both surprised and shocked to- =!
to hear of his arrest as German nj
'. The grounds of this suspicion VI
said to be his automobile, a Metz. ca
ich is not only of German parent. W.
:, but has been behaving in a most ~
rman manner lately. 1t was only "
err Mr. Watts proved concrsively 50
t the car was born in this Country
had recently rendered valuable SO
riotic service, that he was re-
sed. ha
The Red Cross Pharmacy was en- '"'
ed one night and several dozen oa