davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Another Shemale Broncho Buster
arrived in the Bend this week.
Her name is Minnie Sofa and let
me tell you she can SPIT Spanish
and Star Tobacco and does other
religious work to perfection. We
welcome you, Miss Minnie, but
will like you betterif you lay off
your six shooter.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Lanky Witherspoon hurt his
hand pretty bad last night in the
Poker Game when he drew to a
Bob Tail Flush. He says if he
would have made three Aces if
he had drawn right.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
u. ModeI aHoss.0

viii say Ills resp 4ting the horse
aud ! have had much 10 do with every
variety and kind has for docility,
for fuithfulneSs uDD for cheapness Of
maintenance, give me In. horse who
never sheds his cont or Is bothered
with i%ngrOwins toona,ls. who remains
wherever you place him and is ever
on the Job when he's wanted. That
horse is the saW9lorse.-ZiIn In Car
t0ons Magazine.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Abner Weeks is among us a.
gain and expresses surprise
at the wonderful improvements
in the Bend--how the last flood
changed the bed of Wampus
creek and made the Bend con-
siderably larger. Besides the
old shoemaker AMI his dog both
died since Abner was here last
and other improvements.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
A stlckler for Form.

The near-sighted humorist happened
10 bump into a pedestrian who had n
crouch. The pedestrian grew pugnu-
cious. "Take off them glasses and
III punch your face for YOU" he cried.
"But, my dear sir" said the humor-
lst calmly, at Is quite against the CHS
tom, you know. Who ever heard OF
ordering off the glasses before the
punch was served2"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

The awful prevalent Oklahoma
Itch that has been going the
rounds has subsidized some little
since it struck Polecat Joe and
the general belief is it will never
recover from that one attack
looks like the blame thing would
nave more sense and reason than
to tackle Joe in the first place.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Regular Prism

A Missouri poet bursts forth in tn,
following
The gent with the linen buster
Was patriotic, too;
His nose was red, his whiskers white
Through them the wild winds blew.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Two Screws came through the
Bend from Two Screws Ranch
en- route to the county seat to
get repairs for their boss, who
was killed when his horse fell
with him, there being no collins
or machine shops in the Corners.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Notes from Navajo Bend

The Navajo Bend boys have ar
ranged to prepare for war with
Germany and each one to a man
left last night loaded down with
cartridges and food stuffs---for
the Bat Caves and Brakes and
other safe shelters and will stay
until the war is over.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

The Widow Stokes and a heavy
hail Storm visited the Bend to-
day, the hail did no damage
whatever excepting the wreck
ing Of only about two thirds of
Snaky Eds character. They
have not finished checking up the
by the Widow Stokes.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

"Jacl; queered himself with Name
when he tried to compliment her on
her hands"
GLOW SOP"
"She is proud Of their being so
small, and he told her they were sim
ply great"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Krazy Kris ordered Tarantula
Soup at the Chill Joint and they
gave him Chile con Carne as a
substitute and now he is suing
the proprietor for interior DANA
ges.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Not We'll Put.

Dowies-What a grasplng fellow you
are, Smith You've bothered me about
this bill fifty times in ten daysl
Smith-YOu wrong me. Tn mot
grasplng. I've bothered you about the
bin, l admit, but | haven't been able
to grasp anything yet!-London Tit.
Bits.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

you expect trouble with your voters
out homer"
81 do" admitted Senator Sorghum.
"But you are keeping your ear to the
ground?"
whats the use3 You don't have TO
listen MS closely as all that for m earth
quake"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Announcement is made " the federal
government of an intention 20 confs-
cate all wood alcohol. Well, that will
doubtless save the lives of a lot Of
a lot Of chumps who otherwise might
kill themselves drinking it.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Knob Tor Kettle Lid.

Should the lnoe como Off nc lid OF
n hottie "a screw should be slipped
through thc hole With the head TO the
INSIDE of the lid ,.ud "A cork screwed
on the rrotruding cpd.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Automatically sneaklnn.

GLOW do you explain your friends
position on this public question:
81 can't explain it," replied Senator
Sorghum. "It's like the position OF a
contortionlst. The fact that you can't
explain it is what makes 1t interest
ing"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

whats your job in New York,
Bill?'
I'm a smoke Inspector"
THAT'S n nice job. You can take
your chair up on the root and inspect
the whole city."-Louisville Courier
Jnurnal.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Expansion Of Concrete.

Concrete reads expand most In win
ter and contract most in summer, ac-
cordlng to the United States bureau
Of STANDARDS, because Of Increases or
decreases in the moisture they con-
tain.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
chanoe.

Ruth Is an alchcmist I, know,
And so I'll have to drop her,
For every time I'm out with her
My silver turns TO copper.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Get Plenty

By the way Of avoiding back luck
through the possession Of the new l3-
cent stamps, il is suggested that people
buy two at a time.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Make a person happy if you
can. even if it is necessary to say
goodbye.
rnmInales .~eaaNnIL oIare.

A novel device Co eliminate the glare
Of automobile headlights covers the
front Of the electric bulb and diverts
the rays o. the lower half so they are
added 10 the light thrown by the upper
half Of tue reflector,
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Smart saYlnns.

Do not think that you are saying
smart things when you say things that
make other people smart.-Youth's
Companion.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Didn't de young bride at de way.
side cottage give you anything to eat?"
"Naw-w! Angel food, opiAe f~ritters
md griddle cnkes.n
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
Just Climate

Just Climate
Back East
The folks
In snow
Are shivering;
But here
In sunshine
Go a~-h.vvering.
Back there
The wind
Howls thro'
Ones g%ateways:
Out here
The weather's
Pleasant always.
The moral
Ia: (Oh,
Say, Gosh
Blame it,
| want
A word
To rhyme
With climate.)
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
So Mrch settled-

"Do you love me2" he asked.
mo. l don't think I do" said the
sweet young thing.
Couldn't you learn to love mo?"
"Oh, I might"
"Well, give me your hand on that,
then"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11
OBSERVATIONS

Town Specialties
There Is a man in our town,
And lie is fun of prunes;
He has n rusty photograph
And never changes tunes.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1918-01-11

Read h Real Man" Week
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27

which the Americans retreated
during the German offensive, has
been recaptured and left in the
rear by the advancing troops.
East of Jaulgonne, the Frenc h
| likewise have advanced their line
on the north bank Of the Marine
and chung to their newly won pc
sitions. Notwithstanding the VIC
| lence Of the German counter
moves and the statement Of the
German war office that they were
driven out.
| Likewise south of Rheims,
where the British are fighting
with the French, strong enemy po-
sitions have been captured and
the Allied line advanced nearly
a mile. The reinforced German
front here stubbornly contested
the advance but the British and
French gained the advantage and
in addition to infiicting heavy
casualties took prisoners and five
guns. The British alone captured
300 Germans.
The cOunter-attacks of the Ger
mans continue to be delivered
with great violence and with
heavy gun and machine-gun fire
behind them. Where they are
forced to give ground the Ger
mans are leaving numerous ma
chine-gun nets in the open to ha-
rass their enemies and aid in
making secure the retirements.
The Germans apparently are fear
full that the constant nibbling at
their, lines east Of Amiens by the
British foreshadwos an early at
tack and they are sending a rain
of gas shells over the Villers-Bre-
tonneux sector as precautiol.
The British on various sectors Of
the front in France and Flanders
continue daily to make slight
gains against the enemy and take
prisoners and machine guns.
In Albania both the French and
Italian troo~s are keeping up
their pressure against the Aus
TRANS. In the latest reports from
Rome and Paris considerable |
gains are credited to the Allied
troops, and also the capture Of
important positions mad prisoners
and guns, ~ ,-"i". wig.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27
WAR IN BRIEF FOR OUR
READERS.

The Entente allied troops on
the Soissons-Rheims salient con-
tinue to gain ground, both on the
western side of the battle front
and on the south along the Marine
and toward Rheims, notwithstand-
ing the increasing resistance of
the Germans and the bad weather
that is prevailing on the southern
part Of the line.
While the latest gains recorded
are not as great, on the whole, as
those Of previous days, they new.
ertheless have added positions Of
strategic value to the Allied line
for tn further prosecution of the
efforts to clear the territory of the
enemy. In the fighting more
prisoners. guns and war stores
have fallen into the hands of the
American French and British
troops.
AS diversion the French to
the northwest, midway between
scissors and Amiens, have deliv-
cred a blow against the German
line which has been productive of
excellent results. Striking on a
front of about four miles, Gene
raj Foch's troops penetrated the
enemy lines for a distance Of
about two miles and gained the
heights dominating the valley Of
the Avre river and the plains be-
yond. Fifteen hundred Germans
were captured by the French.
The official communication issued
by the French war Office refers
to this fighting as a local opera
ton.
South of Scissors the drive Of
the Franco-American forces to-
ward Fere en- Tardenois has
pushed further back the Germans
o nbpth sides Of the Ourcq river.
South of the river, notwithstand-
ing fierce resistance. the Allied
forces reached the railroad line
between Armentieres and Coincy,
running southwark to Chateau
Thierry. and pressed on beyond it.
This advance brings the French
and American troops relatively to
within seven miles Of Fere en-
Tardenois and also gives them a
dominating position for big gun
play over the eastern section of
the railway line running from Ar
mentieres to Fere en- Tardenois.
On the northern bank of the
Marine town Of Jaulgonne, from
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27

a time and screw down the tops.
Invert, to caal and test the joints.
Wrap in paper to prevent bleach
ing, and store in a dry, cool place.
The fruit may be cooked before
bottling, but that will make the
fruit darker. and the other way
serves every purpose. If cooking
is tried. the fruit should be placed
over a gentle heat until enough
moisture comes out to prevent
burning. The heat should then
be increased until the boiling
point. The fruit should be boiled
an hour, stirring all the time, fol-
lowing the usual methods of ster-
ilizing. In putting up apples a
little water will have to be added
to prevent burning. Pulped fruit
can be used for jam. stewed fruit,
buildings and pies. The English
housewife, who has to be very
careful Of sugar, makes up pulp
into jam, one jar at a time, al
lowing half a pint Of sugar to
pint Of fruit. The product is not
quite so sweet as she formerly
favored, but she contents herself
with the reflection that it is quite
good enough in these days when
jam Of any kind is almost a lux
ury.-Herman Seifreth In Times
Picayune. a
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27
w, S. S.

There are too many boys and
girls in the country and city.
more in the latter than In the
former, who are prone to look
upon work as beneath them.
There are thousands Of them on
the threshold ,of maturity who re-
tain the same views and habits
which found encouragement in
their earlier years. What be-
comes Of this class Of people 2
Some Of them awaken and after a
desperate struggle overcome the
habit and learn to work, to save,
and to prepare for the inevitable
rainy day. Many Of them. how
ever, drift until they become ac-
ceptable recruits in the hobo
army-St. Helena Echo.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27
--W.S s. s.
HONOR AND TRUTH.

It is said that, surrounding
every man, there is mire OF
quicksand; he steps into it. is lost
and will finally vanish. 1t mat
tiers little if he steps into it bold
ly, or with soft tread, thinking to
reach the opposite bank and safe
ty before the treacherous crust
gives away. or even innocently-
auicksand has no sympathy, pity
nor remorse. Unlike the quick
sands the human mind and heart
hold sympathy for honest error.
The people are big enough and
great enough themselves to make
mistakes and to forgive them in
others. All they require is to be
shown that mistakes complained
of were in fact mistakes and not
deliberate violations of good
faith. It matters not so much
how high a man may lift his voice
Just so he keeps his feet on the
ground. And there is only one
ground upon which men may
properly stand when seeking the
public trust. That ground is
truth. Evasions are but quick
sands. The more one persists IN
subterfuge the deeper he is apt to
sink in the mire.-Farn1 and
Ranch.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27
s. s.
WHY SUFFER so?

Why suffer from bad back
from sharp, shooting twinges,
headaches. dizziness and distress.
ing urinary ills? New Iberia
people recommend Doan's Kidney
Pills. Could you ask for stronger
proof of merit?
F. 0. Hebert, upholsterer. st.
Peter and Center Sts., New Iberia,
says: 81 strained my back do
ing heavy lifting and when | re-
tired at night my hips and bac *
were so painful, I was unable to
rest. On getting up in the morn
ing, / was lame in every part Of
my body. Ny kidneys acted too
frequently and caused me a great
deal of worry. I felt depressed
and when / did any exertion, |
tired quickly. Every little while
/ would forget about nv back be
ing lame and when I made a sud-
den turn, the pain would be Sc
we're. I finally learned Of Doan S
Kidney Pills and they brought me
relief in a few days. / took one
box and was entirely cured of this
trouble. It is now a year since
I had this attack and I have en-
loved excellent health.
6Oc, at all dealers. Foster-Mil-
burn Co., Mfgrs., Buffalo. N. Y
Adv.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27

All children troubled with worms have an un-
healthy color. which indicates poor blood. and as
rule, there 10 more or less stomach disturbance
GROVES TASTELESS chill TONIC given regularly
for two or three weeks will enrich the blood. i'm
prove the digestion. and act az General Strength
enins Tonic to the whole system. Nature will then
throw of or dspel the worms. and the Child will be
in perfect health. Pleasantto take 60c per bottle
(Advertisement.)
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1918-07-27
FLIES NEVER BOTHER.

In the summer flies worry an animal.
Get bottle of Farris' Healing Remedy
costs but 5oc-makes pint worth $500
Apply it to the wound. Flies viii not
bother it. Get it today. You may need
h tomorrow. We sell il. o. Renoudet.
(Advertisemeut)
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
FASTER SERVICES
At THE CHURCHES

March departed this year on Sun
day and just like a lamb. The wealth
er was clear most Of the day, and quite
warm for the time Of year.
At Trinity Episcopal church Hodge
mass was observed at 1920 Miss
Emma Schombs, Fond du Lac, a guest
at the home Of Mr. and Mrs. F. E.
Brewer, gave a solo, and Mrs J. j.
Brooks sang both morning and even
ing. Rev. Carson Of Milwaukee as
sisted Rev. L. c. Ferguson with the
services. Thirty-fve members Of the
choir entered the church, the process
sional marching down the aisle to the
proper place in the church. In the
evening the Knight Templars attend
ed the services, ]. S. Briscoe of the
lodge assisting.
At the other churches the programs
were given as announced.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
KILLS HIMSELF
At EVANSVILLE
(From Mondays dGiIy.)
Gainesville Gazette, March 3O)

GAINESVILLE Gazette, March 30)
Cleighton Bradley, aged 80 years,
committed suicide at his home, 424
North Chatham street, this afternoon
at 12:15. Mr. Bradley placed dOu-
ble-barrel shotgun in his mouth and
both charges were discharged into
his head. Half Of his head was blown
s. completely from his body, and Cor
'.orar Frank Ryan stated that it was
one Of the most grewsOne cases he
has ever seen.
Mr.. Bradley was employed as "a
brakeman on the southwestern divi-
sion Of the Chicago, Milwaukee & st.
Paul railroad and had not been work
ing very much Of late, owing to poor
health.
1t is believed that the deceased
feared that he had tuberculosis, ana
the fear grewlon his mind until he be-
came mentally deranged, and while
in this condition decided to take his
life. He was in the best of spirits On
Friday and was down town with his
wife in the evening, and attended the
theatre.
Mrs. Bradley left him at home this
morning and went down to the depot
to receive his check. A few minutes
after II o'clock neighb0rs heard a loud
report, but could not discover where
it had come from. Mrs. Bradley, upon
returning, was told of the report ana
when her husband could not be found,
she went down into the cellar His
foot of the stairs. Death had been
instantaneous.
Mr.. Bradley had been employed on
the st. Paul road as switchman and
brakeman for the past five years and
was a man Of excellent character 1t
is thought that he contemplated sui
eide over a week ago, as he went to
the president of the local order of
Railway Trainmen and had his insur
ance policy changed to have his wife
beneficiary
He leaves to mourn his loss loving
wife and mother, and one brother,
Clarence. His mother resides in Bar
d7boo and left there early this morning
for GAINESVILLE to spend the weekend
with her son. She will not know OF
the suicide until she reaches James
vile some time this afternoon.
Note: The brother mentioned by
the Gazette is manager of the Bara-
boo branch of the GAINESVILLE Clothing
company.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
HOW'S THIS

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Medi-
cine
Halls Catarrh Medicine has been
taken by catarrh sufferers for the past
thirty-f1ve years, and has become
known as the most reliable remedy for
Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Medicine acts
through the Blood on the Mucous sur
faces, expelling the Poison from the
Blood and healing the diseased por-
tons.
After you have taken Halls Catarrh
Medicine for a short time you will see
a great improvement in your general
health. Start taking Halls Catarrh
Medicine at once and get rid of ca
tarrh. Send for testimonials, free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
FIRE BIG SHOT
At Old ]. B.

AT the Al. Ringing theatre n1 Sun
day night old John Barleycorn was
given a Jolt in the solar pIexus. G. w.
Andrews presided Rev. G. E. Weed
offered prayer, Rev E. G. Henke read
the lesson, Mrs. J. J. Brooks gave q
solo, Rev. e. 0. COortz not only leo
the singing, but sang 3 solo, and a
quartet composed Of Rev, c. E. Maves,
Lucius Bump, Herman Harmed and J.
E. Barry brought applause when they
gave a farewell to the old beer Keg to
the tune OF Roll Along"
Norman Quale gave some interest
ing figures concerning conditions in
Baraboo during the dry days. The po-
lice Justice has not had a single case
since last July. During the SIX months
previous to last July ten persons had
been taken by the police for drunk
enness, three salOOnkeepers had been
on the carpet, another case was be-
cause Of no license and one for gam
bling During the ne&t six months
there were six arrests, four getting
drunk at KIlbourn and two at Able
man, all cOG.3ng to Barab0o. Migrants
dropped froz1 200 in the wet six
months to 40 in the dry period of the
same length. He also spoke Of the
improved conditions in all lines in
BarabOO.
Assistant Attorney General ]. G. Ba-
'ker of Madison also spoke for the dry
cause He showed by conclusive ar
gument that the saloons were a detri-
r1ent to Madison and gave many illus
trations to show how the city had I'm
proved without them. Students, law
ygrs, doctors, churches and citizens
Joined in the fight to make Madison
dry, and he does not believe it will go
back into the saloon column again.
Mr.. Baker is a ready and entertaining
speaker, and has been in many cam
pa1gns.
Rev. Weed said the breweries
should be able to turn out something
besides drunkards
Rev. Johnson dismissed the audi
0nce.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04

nicely settled in the home which they
recently purchased from Metlar Ma
Their.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eris Raehbein and
daughter have moved to the William
Prelipp farm above Baraboo, and Flor
ian Luck and family have moved onto
the farm they vacated.
Mrs. J. w. Waterbury has returned
from the Madison hospital, where she
underwent an operation.
Martin Stoffles of Sank City has
moved his lumber saving rig to the
F. w. Zantow farm.
Alex Steuber is fixing his COW barn
ready to install a milking machine.
Charles H. Stoddard and E. D. King
made a trip to Madison recently.
The long waited for electric power
will be turned on next week if all
goes we'll
Harry Groth, swho has purchased
his fathers farm, has commenced to
pl0w; the first one in this vicinity.
The children of Mr.. and Mrs. F. w.
ZantOw and Mr.. and Mrs. Charles
Watkins, who have had severe
siege Of the whooping cough, are some
better.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04

Chas E. Wright of Baraboo was a
visitor on March 26 at the big exhibit
Of southern California products main
tanned free to the public in the Los
Angeles chamber Of commerce. He
also attended the lectures and moving
pictures that are a part of the daily
program. The exhibit is the largest
Of any in the country maintained by
a commercial organization Before
returning home, Mr.. Wright expects
to visit several Of the many other
places Of interest in southern Califor-
MA.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
SUMPIER

Mrs. o. L. Young, who came UP to
help care for her grandniece, little
Leora Watkins, who was sick with
pneumonia and whooping cough, and
then was very sick herself, was able
to return to her home in Prairie du
Sac last Thursday.
Miss Della Francis of Baraboo Is
visiting her parents, Mr. and Mrs.
Frank Zscheigner. at Kings Corners.
Mrs. L. G. Stoddard of Prairie du
Sac spent week at the Charles Wat
kins home, caring for her mother,
Mrs. o. L. Young.
Mr.. and Mrs. George Barto are now
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1918-04-04
APPLICATIONS TO MARRY

Arthur Collins, Winfield.
Susie BOhn, Hancock.
John z. D0mke, North FREEDOM.
Martha Rohde, North Freedom.
Edward C. Bauman, DelafeId.
Marie Ludwig, Greenfield.
William Woolever, La Vale.
Lettie Richards, La Vale.