davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
BLOW TO MILITARISM

Nov that the President has announced
~ his opposition to the Chamberlain bill
providing that all suspects shall be tried
by court.martial it's defeat is fortunately
assured. Even though II should be passed
by Congress 1t would be impossible to mus
ter votes enough to override presidential
veto.
Mr.. Wilson's objection is based on sound
reasons. He says that besides being un-
constitutional the bill would put us
nearly upon the level OF the very people
we are fighting and affecting to despse.
1t would be altogether inconsistent with
the spirit and practice OF America"
AS we said before the President took
his stand on Monday, this is a democracy
and not a military autocracy, and the civil
authorities are competent to deal with Of
fenses within their jurisdiction.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

Washington, April 23.-Thc worst has
happened. The United States IIumOr Ad-
ministrator has put tho nation on Joke
rations, in a desperate effort to conserve
the waning supply OF humor. This action
was exclusively predicted in these dis
patches some days ago.
I hurried to tho Office of the Humor Nd.
minstration this morning and found the
Administrator in a very grave mood. The
situation is very serious" he said. "Thc
war will only be won by laughter and
high spirits and the shortage of humor is
acute. Last year only 236 new jokes were
launched Keels have been laid for 400
new jokes this year in our quipyards
but we had a great disappointment the
other day. Twenty.siX excellent jokes,
constructed Of concrete on the best New
England principles, were ready to leave the
ways in Boston, but as soon as they were
launched they sank. We have decided not
to manufacture any more in New Eng
land"
LIE TOOK me to tho administrations
l. L testing chamber. where a group OF
experts were busy examining blue prints
and specification plans sent in by joke in.
ventors. In another room | was pleased
to hear sGueaks and shrill screams OF
laughter, Enthusiastically feminine. l looked
inquiringly at the Administrators. ut is
a committee OF patriotic mothers-n-aw
he said, "who have volunteered their serv-
ices for the duration of the war to concoct
new jokes on married life We have also
committees Of commuters and landladies
and residents OF Brooklyn for intensive
cultivation OF their respective fields. But
Notwithstanding our most urgent efforts
the shortage of humor is very dire We
must he penurious of our jokcs--punuri-
Gus, in fact"
Tell me about your rationng PLAN"
said.
"It is quite simple" he replied. Every
citizen is to carry a humor card When.
ever he feels the impulse to utter a Joke
he is to take the card to- one of our local
bureaus where a committee will be in
charge consisting Of one parson, one
trolley car conductor and one boarding.
house keeper Before this tribunal he
will utter his jest and have his card
punched. Every one is to be limited to
one 100 per cent joke a day, or a number
OF substitutes that will total up to 100
per cent. For instance, jokes on prunes.
fiat feet and suburban trains are reckoned
as only 33 per cent humor. Three Of those
a day may be permitted. We have worked
out a table Of equivalents, which will be
| strictly observed:
"S puns - twit
"3 twits - wheeze.
"2 wheezes = smile,
"a smiles = guffaw.-
&c gufaws=1 jest.
"2 jests II smoking-car story.
40 smoking-car stories ~ joke.
IAN easy calculation will show you,
| therefore, that while each person is linn
| tied to one joke day. he may utter s64O
puns or 100 outlaws a day without exceed
ing his allowance"
| adult how about the funny papers?' I
ID asked. What are they to do?"
He turned 10 his files.
THE last 100 per cent Joke that appeared
in a humorous paper was IN 1896. at the
tlmd og Bryan 1nrst campaign. There
win ~ oa that score They
are ely on substitutes fol
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
Buy a Bond

Buy a Bond
To the Editor Of the Evening Public Ledger.
sir--The following is shot for Liberty
Bond;
Buy a Bond
... It's great fight
For the right
Therefore. with all
Thy might
FIGHT
BUY A BONDl
wyncote. Pa. April 23. II. l.. POUND,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

Is that talk now coming from City Hall
thai listeners in gave the tips to keepers
OF vicious resorts when raids were planned
some more camouhags?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

Joseph C. Guffey is retiring from the
manufacture Of coal gas preparatory TO en-
gaging in the production of campaign hot
air
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
ToDAY's usELEss QUESTION

II beans are beneficial and nuts are
= nutritious and kale Is full Of ealories,
what are pruneqf
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
THE COWNSMAN

i day traditionally supposed to be that on
which Shakespeare first came into this vale
Of tears. II is likewise the date Of his de-
parture into that state in which, H. accord
ing to Maeterlinck, Immortality depends upon
the degree in which we continue to be re-
membered in this world his is condition Of
security which belongs to few warriors or
kings.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
What Do You Know!

QUIZ
I. Identify "the Bay State"
2. Name the author Of "SOrdello''
3. What II skunk cabbage" -.
4, Who Is commander-In-chief Of the An''''
army and navy
5. What Is the difference between ho''se
cOld-frHme?
@. Who was Robin Hood?
:. Who were the Nestal NlrginsT
=. What II rhymester?
o. Where II the Isle Of WlEhtT ..A.
10, Who was Boron RittmeIster Won hish'n'''
Answers TO Yesterdays gun
I. Rheims is an SEcIsn! city pSr,, O. HsSsi Hs1s q
miles back of the French lines. M,,SSs1 hMs,rSIns1
ruin from constant German po"-..,
2. John Purroy Mitchell the former IST b
Greater New York, IN now q nav
United states aerial corps. 49,
8. The kinE can do no wrong n1es ne i -
ministry and not the soyeIelsn,
slble for mistakes In government. ..n,.t
l. Lombard street ~ the hnaneiai
Wall Street, Of London 4
4. Macadamizei derived from the naahs sId
John MacAdam, Inventor OF wv
process. 30 called.
a. Maine is the PinetTee state.
rhs Laocoon IA a celebrated statgss " y
Vatican. showing the stranEhnt =
BY two serpents. -
q. Kilkenny catsi diHpgtatioIs pe9ipn,euis
mOllsh each other By their aIs
alluslon Il from an old ssr"f Il. KuheAl
There once were tive eats IN, an sss =.
80 iiss, iiss Ho~Ied ana thsg, q M
GA a' fs.lssd sa:s 'si'lse's 3 'Ss ss': IT, 'i'
= ,,sas, elr, " " ! sal.,ss! rs,e;sg ''''
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

While We are talking about taking the
police out Of politics why overlook tho Mu-
nicipal Court?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

TVERYBODY can tell you why Shake
IL spearc is this, that or tho other. lie
has always heard about IT, lie learned II
In school repeated 1t In college; he accepts
II ALL truth and myth, feet OF clay and nm-
bus OF glory II Is no small matter for the
Engllsh-speaking world to have for a stand
ard In art, morals and everyday conduct
such norm as Is represented in the works
Of our greatest poet. II Is like steering by
a star instead OF by bug light. You can
not reach the star-least of all In a sub
marine you can reach the bug highland
what II you do?
Faust, as dilated in the imagination of
Goethe-who was too great a man to he "A
good German--Faust. so dlated. was, none
the less. typical of the German spirit
Goethes Faust wanted the earth: he
wanted 1t grossly and sensually. he wanted
to know, yes. but only as a means to enjoy
and lust and Observation-Disclosures are the re-
suit. In the end Faust immoraly outwits
the devil and IL received into "A German
heaven, the happy possessor of both the
penny and the cake. Hamlet hesltatcs fears
10 do wrong and blunders In the end lest he
do IT, Whether We read or not. We are in
sensihly affected by the moral standards ot
our race and these standards arc recorded
In the poets.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

That chauffeur whose tire exploded evil
IDENTIFY wanted TO get too much free air for
nothing
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

CNHAKESPEARE is all things to all men,
~ or perhaps better, a different thing TO
each man. To the cheap writer he is a
quarry, now rather overused; TO the ladies'
and gentlemen's Browning or other like So
clety, a subject of interninabe chatter, de-
lightfuly inconclusive TO the school boy or
girl, Shakespeare IL too often woolly recol-
lection OF Lambs Tales. II is doubtful 70
some If he was book or a man, or a syn
dicate. To the actor he spells ruin yet Ir-
wing. the late Sir Beerbohm Tree and others
have made a fortune out of him. To the
madman he spells Raleigh. Rutland or Plan
taBenet-Bacon is now quite out Of fashion
even I'm the madhouse The German thinks
him best as translated by SchleRel and Tieck
into the cacOphonous unwieldlness of the
language of Kutur. A president OF the Con-
temporary Club agrees with the firm of
Claws and E'eronEer that Shakespeare is
dead, adding. Let us keep him So" And n
superintendent Of public schools once asked
the Gownsman n he did not think that the
movies might be successfully employed in
what he called teaching Shakespeare" To
which the Gownsman modestly replied that
he had always had a notion that perhaps
the text Of the poet might be in some way
important To which the superintendent
graciously replied, We'll, possibly it is"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
IlI coNs1pERING how honor wound be

CCT CONSIDERING how honor would be-
l., come such person. that 1t was no
better than picture-lke to hang by the wall,
II renown made It not stir. was pleased to
let him seek danger where he was like to
find fame. To cruel war sent him from
whence he returned, his brows bound with
oak.
But had he died in the business, madam,
how then?
Then his good report should have been my
son; ] therein would have found issue.
Had 7 dozen sons, each In my
love alike and none less dear than thine
l had rather had eleven die nobly
for their country than one voluptuously sur
felt out OF action"
Here speaks the American mother, the
British. the French, the Italian mother OF
this our terrible moment, howsoever Roman
the spirit The supreme justification OF our
homage to Shakespeare lies In his eternal
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Shakespeare Is al.
ways a topic OF the day.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

CNIIAKESPEARE is as common as the sun,
~ and, for the most part so commonly dis
regarded. We even complain OF the sun at
times. for his direct rays may be grateful
stimulating, inhaminE or terrible. And we
come in out Of his influence. seeking the half
shadow OF some penny-a-line commentator
or the darlened counsel Of some impertinent
critic whose Opaque body is inflated enough
to cast shade even on cloudy day. Like
the sun, too, there is nothing under
Shakespeare. The wisdom of Solomon was
but prophetic OF him: the last clever thing
that you said. my clever reader has already
been better said by Shakespeare--not Solo.
mon. And II you are an agnostic-as IN
these sad days there are many whose religion
is at perilous ebb-stop talking about
Shakespeare, and for that matter, about
good many other things, to which we
must have knowledge m this world, and, what
is more, faith as well.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
The HumOr Shortage
To the u. S. Humor Administrator, care OF
The StnI Small Voice:

To the U. S. Humor Administrator, care Of
The StilI, Small Voice:
Dear Sir--I see with pleasure that some
one beside myself has noticed the humor
shortage. The situation is indeed bad, par.
ticulary in the Philadelphia evening pa
pers. Every patriotic citizen should back
you up in your demand for conservation
Of all available raw material.
You point out that many OF our best
humorists have gone abroad as war cor
respondents. ! hope more will follow. Is
good care being taken that every consign-
ment of humor is being sent back to us
without being opened by the censor? Any
one with a sense OF humor can see IL would
not do to have humor censor. He would
not have the sense to know what to censor
You ask us TO dig up any old humor we
may have In cold storage. I have a small
stock, but It is imported English, with a
longtime fuse. l had not expected it to
be in such demand so / salted It away in
a brass cuspidor which ] obtained as a
souvenir of the Capitol at Harrisburg The
janltor should ask more than fifty cents
for them; they weigh ten pounds, solid
brass. Still brass is more plentiful than
humor
now call the article a humldor, and will
ship II TO you.
have also found small stock of French
humor which I had forgotten, as I have
been married five years. 1t consists OF
three volumes OF Rabelas, which I had
placed on top OF the humdor to prevent
evaporation. Both Rabeais and the hui
midor were back of Grandfather Miniin's
big family Bible for safe keeping. Do
you think this would be valuable as raw
material? MIFFLIN McGILL.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

Hobson? 1t seems as IL we had heard
that name before.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

DUT the Gownsman is not only double
ID wrapped in his gown, he is halfway UP tho
steps of the pulpit. To descend: There was
once a man--was It DIR. Benjamin Rush or
somebody clse-who wrote a predatory act
entitled Hamlet Of Wittonberg" lie was a
bold man and his act was bad. There was a
nice lady who wrote "A decorouS ladylikc book
about the childhood Of the heroines of Shake
speare. Think OF ladyike Lady Macbeth ::
and Cleopatra must have been caught very
young TO have been found even passing
decorous. II is wonderful what people will
perpetrate In the name of Shakespeare! The
Gownsman once kept all copies OF Shakes
pearlana" conveniently near the fireplace
this journal Is peculiarly fitted TO this useful
purpose; its only illumination is In burning
Is there never an alienist who will offer us
tractate on senile dementa, prematureIy
superinduced by habitual writing about
Shakespeare? And could we not induce some
particularly ponderous commentator-dcar
old Warburton, for eNample--to write
treatise on the present place OF abode Of, say
Iago or Richard III? The commentator, by
this time, should know of this matter at first
hand.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

TT is pleasant to think that the rccurrent
Spring should bring back to the faithful
thought and recollection Of the greatest artist
in our English tongue. 1t is good to think
OF the kindly actorfolli n the Forrest Home
finding their pleasure. after the manner OF
their generous quality" in hospitality to
their guests who help them annually to honor
tho greatest among them, II Is good. too, to
think OF that august annual toast OF the
Philadelphia "Shakspere" Society-mark the
distinguished, tho DISTINGUISHING spelling Of
the name-'To William Shakespeare, Gentle
man." Here. at least there is no belief
that the great poet was a lout. in this Ameri-
can society which has honored itself in hon
orng him these sixty years, and dozen CT
more before the degenerate land OF Kultur
founded It's much -beauded Shakespeare Soci-
ETY.. IT is even good to think Of the many
Shakespeare meetings and conventions, how
soever they may he adding in the dust which
most Cf our deliberations raise to a brief
observation OF the sun.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24

Dove Dulcet says there is a little blue
cake OF scented soap that appears mys-
teriously in the bathroom of his house
whenever he and Mrs. Dulcet entertain
visitors lie doesn't know where It comes
from or where It lives between times. It
just pops up. Also the embroidered towels
the size OF napkins, with Mrs. Dulcet's
maiden initials on them. He wonders
whether other married men have the same
puzzling experience?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1918-04-24
Desk Notices

The sweetest words in the English Ian
guage are
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20
LONDONDERRY.

Mrs, Carl Buttner has gone to Hart
land to visit her parents
Mrs. John Howard was a euest Of
Mrs. Jet. Brown last week.
Frank Howe is making arrangements
to move TO Worcester, Mass.
Mrs, Fannie Wilkins has pone to
Weston Island to visit her daughter.
Mrs. Jennie Lake of Saxtons River
IS with her sister, Mrs. e. l.. Parker,
Harvey Shaw of Hebron, \. y. via.
ited his uncle, Norman Wood, recent
".
Dr. Calvin has received word from
Mt. Hermon that Henry has German
measles.
Miss Florence Toilette. who is teach.
ing IN Putney, spent last week at DR..
Galvin's
Williams Brothers have hired CIar-
enee Pratt s farm, and Malcolm Bar
ney expects TO move there.
Theer were 80 present at the Red
Cross meeting at Mrs. Davis's last
thursday. Next week Thursday Mrs
FRANK Curtis entertains them.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20
ADDS WATER POWER.
Hortonia Co. of Rutland Acquires Two
More Rights

The Hortonia Power company, with
Offices in Rutland, has just bought the
water power and the site of the Green
Mountain Pulp company in the town of
Middleburv about mile north of the
village Of Middlebury. This property
is located on Otter creek and it is ex-
pected that when developed it will
prove to be one Of the most important
OF the water power plants of this com
pany.
The necessary water wheels, the gem
orators and other machinery have been
ordered and will be on the ground with
in few weeks The cement for the
concrete dam is now being delivered
and the power house, built of cement,
will be erected and completed dur
ing the coming summer 1t is
regarded as quite significant that
this development takes place at time
when business is practically at stand
still as far as farther developments of
hydro-electric plants in the country are
concerned.
1t is stated that at the dam there is
static head of 33 feet The new pow
er house, it is said, will develop 1900
| horsepower. The natural flow of the
stream will be increased by a large
storage supply of water from Lake
Dunmore, Silver lake and the other
reservoirs, not only now built, but lat
er to be constructed in the towns of
Goshen and Tinmouth on water rights
now owned by the Hortonia company.
The Hortonia company will also have
available the storage waters of the
Rutland Railway, Light & Power com
pany at Chittenden and East Pitts
ford, during the dry season. This stor-
age water is very extensive and will
serve as an important boost during the
dry period.
These storages OF water will, il is
estimated, largely increase the value of
the Vermont Marble company and the
Nergennes Power company plants at
Eergennes.
The Hortonia Power company has
also purchased the water power at
Weybrldge, which has been used sue
cesslvely IN years past as a grist mill.
saw mill and wheelwright shop. Later
there VIII be constructed new cement
dam and power house at this point.
Like the power house at tbs Green
Mountain company site, if is estimated
that there will be 33-foot static head
at Neybridge. The erection of this
power plant viii follow something later
the building of the lower plant at the
site of the Green Mountain pulp com
pany, In the town of Middleburv.
These developments are regarded as
important steps in the rapidly growing
hydro-electric developments OF the Hor-
tonla company since it was organized
few years ago With its many water
plants and its chain of power houess,
It's activities cover many towns from
the Connecticut river across Vermont
and well into eastern New York state.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20
STOPS COUGHING OF OUR MEN.
French Authorities Take Steps to Pre-
vent Profiteering.

PARIS, Feb. 20.-Generals command
ing the districts in France where
American troops are stationed have re-
ceived instructions to take immediate
action against protitecring and price
raising, and to prosecute under the an
ti-speculation law of April, 1916, any
one suspected of increasing prices of
commodities to the newcomers
TO protect the Americans further it.
IS ordered that each municipality shall
post publicly in French and English
the normal price list OF ordinary food
commodities, 50 that Americans will
know what is right to pay, and thus
protect themselves against .extortion.
This action follows the tendency of
prices to shoot skyward wherever
Americans are stationed, which has the
double effect that Americans must paw
too much, and that prices go SO high
that the French cannot afford to meet
them. In several cases American off
Gals have themselves stepped in and
by agreement with the French have
established maximum prices for GER
tam foodstuffs. But the American con
tlngents are now so scattered through.
out France that uniform protective ac.
ton has been deemed necessary.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20
WILMINGTON.
Mrs. Ella Eassett Boyd.

The people Of this town were much
shocked to hear Of the death Of Mrs.
Ella Bassett Boyd, which occurred at
the home Of her daughter, Mrs. J. /.
Ward of Westminster, with whom she
was spending the winter She had
been IN her usual health until about
two hours before her death, when she
sustained a paralytic shock from which
she never regained consciousness.
Mrs. Boyd was born in Wilmington
feb. II, 1851, and spent most of her
llte IN this town, which she ALWAYS
had great love for She was the Young
est daughter of the late Newton and
Susan Bassett. With her husband, the
late Edward c. Boyd, they bought the
farm now owned by their son, Forrest
Boyd, where they lived many wears.
She leaves five children. all of whom
We're present at the funeral. They are
Mrs. j. l. Ward of Westminster. Mrs.
A. II. Farnum of Newfane, Mrs. F. r
Head OF Riyerdale, Nd, Forrest Boyd
Of this town and Mrs. +. C. Hill Of
heene, y II, She also leaves one sis
ter, Mrs. ". \. Dickinson of Willjston
\. d., and two brothers, William and
John Bassett Of Wilmington.
The funeral was held Saturday at |
o clock IN the Cniversalist church. The
turlal took place in the village GENE
terry beside her husband.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20

thus time they have again parted with.
We soon forgot that the change had
been made.
Last year daylight saving was adopt
ed in nearly all the countries of Europe.
The time chosen for moving the
clocks forward is Saturday at midnight.
This was done in Italy March "a in
France April /. Germany was the first
nation to adopt this plan of saving
daylight. England followed the ex-
ample. Attempts had been made be
fore to Introduce it voluntarily in some
communities, but without success. 1t
Is not practicable except by govern
ment decree, but after one sammer S
trial it may be assumed as certain that
Britain will never give up daylight
saving-Rev. a. L. Dunning, d. D., iii
| the Congregationalist.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1918-02-20
K. OF c. WORK IN FRANCE.
Catholic Representatives Sail to Lo-
cate Recreation Center Sites.

WASHINGTON, Feb 2O.-Christo-
pher 2. Connolly, magazine writer of
New York, and Dillon T. Mapother OF
Louisville, Ky, have sailed for France.
where they will select sites for the
erection of Knights of Columbus recre-
alton buildings in the camps of the
American expeditionary force The or
ganization which has built and
equipped the Knights of Columbus
buildings in the American environments
and encampments, will soon be sent
abroad 70 begin its work there.
1t Is said that by April the Knights
OF Columbus will have 100 field secre-
tarles and 80 auxiliary chaplains in
france. Seven Knights of Columbus
chaplalns have been working with the
American forces during the last four
months, and have established femme.
fary recreation centers at various
points