Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1917-04-13

IL th1S AC0 AoC1 va 0ACL
what's-his-name who is proving that
the less we eat the more work we can
do is going to create a revolution"
"Have you adopted his idea" asked
Aunt Abigail spitefully.
Considering that l had just filed I'm
Gle Roberts plate for a second time
this was unkind.
II have not, madam, for the reason
that I am not yet satisfied that his
views are correct. I'm nothing II not
scientific. I must see a thing proved
before l adopt It."
would you prove woman's suffrage
before adopting it?"
This was quite bright OF Aunt Abb
gall
az admit" replied Uncle Robert,
that to prove it before adopting 1t
would be impossible. 1t isn't neces-
sary to prove 1t. Any COOL an see
that the idea is ridiculous"
Uncle" l interrupted for the pur-
pose of calling a truce and preventing
Aunt Abigail from firing a return shot,
"let me fill your glass"
mo, SIR" putting his hand over it
mo- at all, sir. l drink just one glass
of wine with my dinner. And that's
enough for any man."
"Quite enough" l replied and filed
my own for the third time.
zone is too much for any man, espe-
cially an old man." snapped the aunt.
Nothing is so disgusting to me as an
old topper"
The shot, while 1t applied partly to
me, was fired at Uncle Robert.
mot at ALL" he replied. One glass
is good for the system. You know
what st. Paul says, Take a little wine
for the stomach's sake"
"Yes," retorted Aunt Abigail, "and
ture."
This was so well turned that I felt
like patting the old lady on the back.
But 1t did not squelch Uncle Robert
for the simple reason that he was I'M
squelchable. The skirmishing went
on, getting hotter and hotter, till at
last, to prevent an open rupture, my
wife arose from the table. She, poor
woman, was dreading a fracas, and |
was not anxious to have a break occur
so early in the game.
As soon as Fanny and | were alone
together we sat down and laughed.
"Did you ever see anything work
more beautifully" I said, slapping my
leg.
Never"
LET them go their own gait. My
opinion is that one OF the other will
get out within a week"
Every day my uncle came to me and
said that he couldn't live in the same
house with a cat and was going to-
morrow. Every day Aunt Abigail went
to Fanny and said she could not posi-
bly, endure that opinionated old heath
en- and she was casting about for an
other home, but it was dreadful that
she should be alone in the world, with
no one to love but Fanny, and Fanny
must needs be encountered by all her
husbands relatives. l told my uncle
that If | were deprived of the comfort
of caring for my fathers brother In
his old age it would break my heart.
Fanny made faint hearted attempts to
quiet her aunt and agreed with her
that my uncle was a trife hard to get
on with, regretting at the same time
that he had the same claim on me that
her aunt had on her. 1t is true that
occasionally there would be a lull In
the hostilities and we would find the
two chatting quite amicably. But this
was when they happened to strike
some subject which was a pet with
both. AS soon as they drifted into
topics on which they disagreed the
roar of battle recommended.
Several weeks passed in this way,
and Fanny and l were getting impa-
tent for the denouement, when one
day uncle am to me and said that be
would like to have a few words with
me and Fanny alone. He looked very
serious, and felt quite sure he would
his departure. He was ii
born gentleman, and nothing would be
further from his nature than to hurt
ones feelings, and to appear migrate
LII NOnIQ Dl00h A4S lit
Fanny into the library, shut the door
and waited for the old mar to speak.
my dear boy he began, taking my
hand, "and my dear little girl" taking
Fanny's hand, Il have something to
u which will surprise you. /
am going to leave you'll"
"Oh, unclep' we both exclaimed, try
ing hard to appear much disappointed,
even shocked.
Eyes, l am going away, and your
aunt is also going"
This was indeed a surprise.
"Your kindness has brought about a
great change in two lonely lives. For
a time it seemed to both of us that we
must thwart your plans for the happi-
ness of both of us. 1t did not seem
that we could live under the same roof