The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-10-18

/ straight, out In the world away
And the lonely minutes she knows TO
day are presage of lonely years
And the baby form and the lane ar
blurred and lost through tn
shine of tears.
A railroad gang foreman has sen
in this report: "The horse that No
SOB killed is mule and is not deaC
yet"
Congress might have saved lot OF
poor suckers by putting tax on the
receipts of the worlds championship
series.
When we hear a COW bawling night
and day, we know what has happened
at that house: the owner has sold a
calf.
A man does not realize how shame
fully negligent he has been of his
family until he talks to an insurance
agent.
z 2
GLOW is it ye've never married,
Norah?" "G'long wild we, Mike!
Shure the man I'd marry amt been
born yet, an his mothers dead"
4 4 &
Just think of the money hidden
away in the lawns of Emmett. Drug
houses are now paying rs cents
pound for the roots of dandelions.
There once was fellow named Pink,
Who was dying one day for drink,
So he made high ball,
OF some wood alcohol,
And he'll do it again-"I don't think"
4 & =
Women will cry their eyes out for |
weeks for fear man will be drafted, |
and then when he is rejected as ply
sically unfit, will make fun of him
for the rest of their lives.
"Where is the fellow who wanted
all the newspaper men put into the
front line trenches? asks an ex-
,hange. Goodness, don't arouse him.
He probably inclines that way yet.
People will welcome the hike in
postage if it will cut out half the
'ircular and advertising letters, but
t won't. They say women are buy
ng more $40 shoes than they did SIS
shoes.
Jacob was crooked" an evange-
ist told his congregation recently. He
llso made hit with the men folks
~ declaring that the first talking
was made out of a rib and
wore fig leaves
A certain man recently applied for
life insurance. The first three ques-
ions on the application blank read
IS follows: Name? Born? Bust
less? And it is said that the appli-
ants answers were Jacob Levinsky.
les. Bum"
We wish our subscribers would
peak out when they have items of
ews. We can't tell by that grin on
our face whether you have a new
oy at your house or whether your
,ife has gone to visit your parents.
q z 4
According to a farmer who had
ust returned from Portland, the diff
erence between the city and the
ountry is this. In the country you
o to bed feeling all in and get up
ceiling fine, and in the city you go to
ed feeling fine and get up feeling
II in.
A party of hunters became very ,
lirsty in their tramp through the J
ountry and one of them stopped at a {
arm house and asked the housewife
Or a drink of water. "Say, mister,
'ouldn't you just as soon have milk ?" /
ne asked. eve have to carry water {
alf mile and the cows come right a
10 our door.
4 4 z q
General Forrest, of the Confederate I
rmy, though illiterate, was one of Y
lie great cavalry officers of the Civil
ar and kept the Union forces won h
sring "where he was at" When ;
'ked for an expert opinion on mill h
Try tactics, he replied, sect the a
ost men thar fust; them's we can't T
hop, outrun." b
4 z q
A man, calling at dentists,
-omptly and cheerfully stated his
isiness as soon as he entered the =,
,erating room. "a tooth to be pull
H. he said, "and I'll pay nothing :
.trs for gas. Just haul it out if it !
'es hurt" The dentist smiled.
You're plucky, sir" he said. "Let :
e see the tooth, please" "Oh, 'tisn't :,
e that's got the toothache at ALL"
id the man; "it's my wife. She'll