The Washington herald., 1917-08-12
Yum. Yum. Kisses,


It is all right to kiss. your beau
goodbye on the street, but don't make
hog Of yourself because someone
is looking. Mamie Brooks was tell
ing her beau goodnight and at the
same time hanging onto him SO that
the poor fish couldn't get away. When
Detective Benhsm sees a couple kiss
each other he always turns his head
and grins. He Is married and knows
all about IL.
But there was something unusual
about Mamie and her beau. Mamie
almost smothered him and he was
just about all in when Benham came
along with the pulmotor and revived
him. Mamie should have gone home
and let up on kissing and waking
UP the neighbors. but it must have
tasted awful good. Anyway, the guy
came back for some more. and De-
tective Benham. tired Of resuscitat-
ing the victim. put him out Of harms
way, by arresting Mamie for being
disorderly. She had IS worth OF
kisses.
Is 1t Possible Billf
Bill Williams used to work for
bottling company. He was not ar
rested for this, but he was taken into
custody for robbing some baby of a
bottle of milk. 1t was easy for Bill,
as he knew all about bottles and
nothing about babies. He never con-
nected baby and bottle, because
he Is a bachelor.
But some husky 2-year-old put up
howl about his lunch. and some
thing had to be done. The very idea
of swiping from a helpless infant, es-
pecially when no one was looking
but a policeman! Bill made all sorts
Of apologies for stealing the five
cents worth of milk intended for
the baby. Bill got thirty days. but
he made such a good impression on
Judge Pugh that he was paroled.
Bob "Cheeses" 1t.
Once in awhile Bob Thomas gets
an appetite of such size that he could
eat a bale of hay. Not long ago his
boss sent him down the street to
get change for a dollar and neither
the dollar not Bob ever came back.
Bob hadn't eaten for two hours. 1t
seemed more like two weeks. He
spent the dollar for limburger cheese
and ginger snaps.
Meanwhile all the Sherlock Holiness
in the police department were look
ing for a man with a strong appetite
and still stronger breath, but WASH
ington is such a big city! Bob was
finally caught and locked up. He
told the court that his appetite was
responsible. as it had dulled his con-
science. Well-versed in the heinous
ways OF the H. c. OF L., the court
only sentenced him to thirty days
and placed him on parole.
rTis Very Simple.
The mystery of how a man making
$50 a day can wear s2S silk shirts
is solved. 1t is all very simple when
you understand It. John Ford, with
a jitney name and a Pierce-Arrow
taste for shirts, was hailed before
Judge Pugh for swiping enough hab-
erdashery to start store. John
worked in a laundry and here we have
it all in a nutshell. or rather a wash
tub.
Whenever he felt like it, John would
swipe a silk shirt. no matter how
much the boss had to shell out to
pay the owner. and go sporting in
it. The boss got tired of this and
went after John. Sheets and shirts
are a queer combination but that
is what John has been taking for
some time. The court did not under
stand the combination. He couldn't
wear the sheets and he didn't use
any on his bed, as he slept in the
shirts. John got ninety days. Judge
Pugh promised to look up his previous
good record.
"Oh That Geo'town Ball.
There was a ball in Georgetown
Friday night and Ella Nichols, Alice
Gaddis and Maude Wilson were COM
ing home when they decided to have
an argument. They had reached
and L street north
west when some roughneck fired
pistol out of the window.
This little demonstration spurred
the girls on in their argument and
the language used was what our
Sunday School teachers always
leave out of the lesson. Policeman
Lofts was standing around and as
he always hates to hear any one
carry on like that he just naturally
had to take the girls in charge. I'll
does not make any difference what
was the cause of the spat, the girls
were put under bonds with the un-
derstanding that another such pic
mic would cost them 800.
Ra.I. Gan NJ Do.w N~,-