The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-01-04


@ Africa and eliminate entirely the laun
! dry charges?
o | imagine that if | were a doctor
and had charged man the price of q
g professional call to tell him he was
not going to recover, would resent
it very much to have him get well
q and come up town and meet me with
/ "Hello, Doc, you're not looking very
well yourself this morning"
A Sunday school teacher, after read
ing the story of Ananias and Sapphire
to the Juvenile class, proceeded to
ask them a few questions. "Now,
children" she said, "why doesn't the
Lord strike everybody dead who tells
a lie?" e" Cause there wouldn't be
anybody left, hardly" answered a
bright youngster.
Sammy never oyerexerted in the
ed when he came home one noon with
the announcement, 81 got 100 this
morning" "That's lovely, Sammyp
exclaimed his proud mother, and she
kissed him tenderly, "What was it in ?
Fifty in reading and fifty in 'rithme-
tic"
4 4
An Irishman was out cunning for
ducks with a friend who noticed that
although Mike aimed his gun several
times, he did not shoot it off. At last
he said, mike, why didn't you shoot
that time? The whole flock were right
in front of you" "Oi know" said
Mike. "but every time Oh aimed me
gun at a duck, another wan come
right between u.s."
One day a Scottish boy and an Eng |
fish boy who were fighting were sep
arated by their respective mothers
with difficulty, the Scottish boy, |
though the smaller, being far the more
puguacious. "What garreo we FIGHT
big laddie like that for" said the
mother, as she wiped the blood from
his nose. "And I'll fight him again"
said the boy, "if he says Scotsmen
wear kits because their feet are too
big to get into their trousers"
The regular teacher was absent
from Sunday school one morning, and
Mr. Eaton kindly offered to teach the
class. He talked for while, telling
some Bible stories, and finally looking
toward bright little boy asked: "Now
my little man, what does this fas-
chatting story of Jonah and the
whale teach us?" at teaches u.s."
said the boy, whose father always
reads aloud to him practical articles
on practical people, "that you cannot
keep good man down."
The story is told of veteran of the
Civil War who returned to the home of
his boyhood to attend banquet given
by the old boys The diners were all
men he had known as youngsters. He ,
expected them to talk over old times.
Instead, one talked necessarily about
his bad liver; another discoursed on
the weak heart; third had lot to
say about his kidney trouble, and so
it went on. When the veteran return
ed to his home he was asked how he
enioyed the banquet Banquet" he :
replied, showing vexation. at wasn't
A banquet. 1t was an organ recital" :
Old Bill Misgivens says the first h
motor car he ever saw was one owned h
~ President Lincoln. Bill says Lin Fl
.oln asked him to crank it for him one h
old morning, and he nearly twisted /,
lis arm off and couldn't get it start Il
ID. After several attempts and no N
success, Mr.. Lincoln looked into the II
,asoline tank, and behold it was emp p,
v. Bill said he ran into the White 9,
louise and phoned down to the garage q,
or some gas. He said while he was :,
Waiting for gasoline Mrs. Lincoln fe
layed several of Harry LADDERS di
ongs on the Victrola. Bill hays he d;
pent the whole winter in Washington 9,
nd visited quite a lot at the White a,
louise He said he got to be great GO
avorite with the statesmen and high w
ociety bellies. Sc
= hi
There was sad, hunted look in his he
yes, and his skin had the dried, parch- if
tent appearance of a man who had cy
or many succeeding seasons faced the ha
iaho winds His pants were con- ju
derably frayed about the basement, tn