Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-12-21
ALEXANDER, THE GREAT.

| am he of the cotton sock,
The salesman come into politics.
l penetrate every hovel, mart and
hamlet,
Me and mine handsatchel.
! am the Irrepressible, Unrepress-
ible, Ungovernorable Leader of Law
and order.
| am 1T.
l screach it and so I am.
No one can touch me and the law
itself must fade away at my magic
power,
Men and vimmens.
| l believe in nipping trouble in the
bud. yea, even the IWW's.
Did l not COW them with a glance
from my eagle eye and three of my
twofor-a-cent cigaros?
l am that real honest-to-g goodness
house cleaner.
Did not sweep the despoilers Of
the state house high and dry-me
und Vilson-all the refuse and spume
of Republicanism?
Und didn't l make it a damned
sight worse?
Believe me, am the real vacuum
cleaner with all de latest improve
ments;
| Also, the straddlebug has it not
on me,
/ For did / not adopt Broxon from
the Progressive party and did l not
adopt Ed Dewey from the Republican,
party,
And didn't they whoop it up for
me?
And all with an advertising con-.
tract from my store,
Thus indicating that politics and
pisiness do mix in dis the year Of
your Lord and mine, men and VIM
mems, nineteen hundred and seven
teen.
Even if / am of Bavarian extrac-
ton, what difference, helm? 1t makes
no German sausages.
For / wave aloft the star spangled
un banner and wrap about me the
white bars of old glory,
With three whoops und one tiger.
see in the distance the radiant.
light of my senatorial career. l see
my figure all marked in one price
clothing standing out with majesty
and mein and the American flag
that is, l see it if Bill Borah stays
out,
But l understand later he is COM
ing in;
l repeat and go out for Addison T..
Schmidt.
/ will scoop him with the Ameri-
can flag and stand vid the govern
nlent at Washington"
Then l will go after that Jim Bra
dy Teller two years hence
And hire small boy to make him
forget his American flag when he
goes forth to speak to the men and
vimmens;
I will get his goat thus, Ell, mein?
My countrymen in Boston know
me;
Dot noble band of soldiers in San
Francisco know me-because l re-
Gently spoke briefly to them on pat
riotism in few well chosen remarks
lasting two hours and a quarter
What matter it-men and vimmens
If it is said all them shoulders
next day receive postal cards from
my son-in-law, the tailor man in San
Francisco, offering to make them deir
suits at half off for cash?
Is he not complimenting his dear.
father-in-law by his sagasiousness,
Ell, helm?
Aye, dot is SO, men and vimmens.
And vot does it matter?
For,
Am ! not the perculator, the per-
ambulator, the penetrator of the Sum
day schools and the evening meeting
at the churches where mine private
secretary working hard for the state.
tells the preacher that would be de-
lighted to render for him my dis
course upon the Great Teacher;
Do / not hasten to the school pic
mic, the water users association and
try to get in at the Non-partisan
league when Scholtz is not looking?
Am not the Industrious governor
and friend of the Oregon Short Line
because l buy of them so many rail-
road tickets?
Men and vimmens,
Listen, Q
Hear me once more with your
votes
When l go out after that Addison
T. Schmidt Teller.
For am the pacyderm of the
pachydermata family Of the order Of
proboscidea;
root and delve,
And nose and sweat,
And spew and sputter,
And / am IT
ALEXANDER THE GREAT.
Standpoint Review.