Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1917-12-20
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A Widows Experience
BY ESTHER vANDEVEER

Ny love for Edward Lane began
when we were both so young that mel
ther OF us could remember q time
when IL did not exist. His fathers
place was but short distance from
ours. Indeed, the rear line marked the
limits OF both places. On one side OF
this line was the playground or the
several children, boys and girls. In
GLIDING Edward and myself, who lived
in the neighborhood. I can remember
as far back as when / was seven years
old and Edward nine that In playing
Keep house he and l always played the
part OF husband and wife. There was
9 swing on this playground, and Ed
wards father put up articles for
boys gymnasium. A little house four
or five feet high was built for US girls
and furnished with toy furniture. At
times we would leave our dolls there
all night, first putting them to bed.
When l grew II Her / could not un-
derstand how | could have stood up
right FL that little house. And what
seemed more remarkable TO me was thai
Edward could have done so. for he was
always a large child. And / remember
that when he had been away to school
for long while and came back he was
taller than the house.
BY this time we were growing out OF
childhood into that intermediate period
when, though boys and girls may feel
love, they are not likely 10 express II.
1t is period Of transition from child
love TO real love. The boy mind is taken
up with athletic sports. while the girl
hides her secret almost from herself.
Indeed, so nebulous is this period that
In my own case it is difficult for me to
recall my exact feelings. i remember
them family and as existing at inter
walls. They were rather a small portion
of my girls existence than the whole
OF il.
When i was sixteen | was awakened
70 the true condition by the marked
preference displayed by another girl
for my Edward. From that time my
love became the principal instead Of
minor part in my life. | failed to con
ceal my jealousy from him, and this
what was between us There was no
formal declaration, no conventional
giving OF the hand. not even the low
ers' kiss He merely said something
about the other girl, know not what,
but IL assured me there was no change
in our position since the days when
we played husband and wife at keep
Ing house-no change In the position.
but a great change in the condition
1T had then been like winter bud, but
II was now swollen under = SpsAnU ~.
ready TO put forth leaves.
i sometimes wished that could have
experienced the proposal that other
girls seemed 70 regard the next most
important moment I'm their lives 10
their marriage. Edward and had no
occasion for proposal Our love was
rather, as | have said, an unfolding of
q bud than the birth OF a butterfly
The only abrupt part OF II was when
he gave me the first kiss. treasured
that in lieu OF proposal.
When we were married great changes
had occurred. ! had been left alone in
the world, so IL was arranged that we
should occupy my house. Our living
room was On the second floor, over
looking the playground where we had
pretended TO be husband and wife
The faint dream Of childhood had been
developed TO a realization OF almost
perfect happiness If there could be a
perfection on earth these i've years OF
my life from twenty TO twenty-five
were such a condition Two children
were born to us. a boy and girl
What seemed strange to me was that
though l gave them boundless love
that which ] bore their father, instead
OF being diminished, was increased
Truly love must be, like space, infinite.
Up TO this point there had been an
expansion OF happiness Suddenly
there came check. Our younger
child slckened and died. / have de.
scribed with some mlnuteness what
have likened to the gradual unfolding
OF Hover. I have no heart to give
more than q brief mention Of its blight.
ing Within few months after the
Nrst death q second occurred, and
within another year lost my husband.
For q time l was In . sort OF COL
lapse, In which did not take enough
interest 10 my surroundings 70 be az
iected by them. After one has met
with a serious accident or has been
operated upon by surgeon the senses
are deadened then comes the begin
ming OF pain. 1t was so with me-
when l became myself my surround
tngs were painful to me. Some per
sons similarly situated nurse their
grief by living in such surroundings
longed 10 get away from them.
Friends advised me to seek recovery
In the many new scenes and interest
ing objects that are to be found abroad.
] took their advice. sailed for Eu-
rope, leaving the place where I had
been so happy in the hands Of an agent
Tor sale. One thing was resolved
upon-never TO return TO IL.
1t may be considered that my story
Is one OF coincidence. It Is more than
that 1t IS an illustration OF the very
different conditions that may occur IN
the life OF n single person. Masters
Of romance have maintained that there
should be in song or story but one
love. Playwrights never bring a sec