The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-07-28

criminatfon. NV heaviest work is
scheduled for August and now l am
making final preparations aAu let II
be known that / will arrive ON time
Thus does the hay fever soliloquize-
Thus does it gloat over it's power to
make miserable 500 afflicted Tope-
kans In short, it has been announced
by few premature attacks that the
season is on and that the much cursed
fever is close at hand.
This fever, with all its disasters and
discomforts. originated way far back
in the centuries and has gaehered
hundreds and thousands of victims
each year. 1t is disastrous at times
to the afflicted and at times to the
neighbor of the victim 1t has no re-
spect for time, place or persons
Among the victims of the disease
bankers, beggars, bootblackS and Dll-
lienaifes are all found. Ministers and
gamblers, too, are found among those
petitioning help from the jovial doc
tor. But nevertheless it IS open sea-
son for the fever and the germs will
soon start on their big drive"
An interview with one of the early
Eictims of the germs with dcklish
fails. revealed the fact that it was not
a joke-not even funny-to be host to
thousands ofIthese little sneezy germs
They are small and numerous and
persistent. In case they cant effect
Il healthy sneeze from the man be-
hind they gather forces and at the
first favorable moment make a tre-
ulendous attack upon the nose. eyes,
throat and ears of the attacked.
Without having any thought of the
disease, the writer met a man on
street car. His eyes were red and he
carried his kerchief in his convenient
right hand. He was crying and he
didn't seem to care who knew it. He
was brave but he was weak and may
be effeminant. With the vivid imag
ination of movie reporter the writer
approached the sad and weeping mass
of masculinity that was apparently
shaken with grief. Offering in a soft
voice-softs with the Intention of of
maybe comfort he was asked if his
daughter had died.
Had No Daughter.
My daudder? By bod, I habent
any daudder." His reply only helped
to make the case more battling; So
with all the dignity of a cub reporter
he was finally asked what the matter
But before any response to the
near-impeftinant question could be Of.
fered by the weeping man, a violent
attack of the sneezing seized him. He
kerchooed like a real man and tried
to swear like a real man-and he
CdSSCQ llhC q ICeA
A fat woman in the seat just be-
hind began to smoker and then it
spread, just like the disease, to every
one in the car. Any way the fat,
sneezy, deceitful old man came to
his corner and ran from the car. He
must have gone to q doctor.
Upon talking to doctor. it was
discovered that hay fever is as change
able and as diverse in styles as the
summer garmens. You may have rose
hay fever. ragweed hay fever or even
goldenrod hay fever. Anyway, if you
have it, you have one of the thirty-two
varieties that the medical profession
can not cure. And each brand of the
cffliction forgets for whom 1t was
made. The rose fever may visit
member of the section hands family
or the ragweed afflication may be the
1t Is as contrary as it is anu ing and
annoying
The whole notion of sneezing and
of being red-eyed is not to be laughed
at-that is, if you are the victim Nor
IS it safe to laugh at the antics Of the
victim if he be within ten feet of you.
1t is often as disastrous as it is insult
ing.
It's 1metimes Useful.
The uses of the affliction in every
Cay life has become more varied with
each succeeding year To thu hem
l.ecked husband, the disease affords
him sufficient excuse to leave home
for the mountains, when he can't af-
ford to take the wife" along. 1t ex-
cuses him from Sunday church SER
vices. 1t allows him to stay out until
the wee small hours-he claims he
can't sleep anyway-that is. he claims
this to his wife. Then, too, he can't
eat certain kinds of dishes with which
J IS wife is experimenting. He can't
make garden-the dust is his savior
here He can't go to the nockel show
that is, unless he so chooses Cor
ker-chooses). In fact. he is to be
petted, pitied and protected from the
inelemency of the elements.
To the romantic youth its uses are
just as numerous and just and eff