Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1917-12-14
By HERBERT COREY.

today and you we're tired of wearing
your old clothes. Maybe your wife had
begun to comment bitterly on the III
direct angles of your trousers or maybe
your best girl tried to brush the dust of
your coat collar and you had to stop
her, for fear the collar would be bTushed
of with the dus;. Suppose that you
said 10 yourself:
Il shall buy me some new clothes
This is the way you would go about
il. If you wanted 10 make thorough
job sou would begin with your primeval
man and seem 10 put new underclothes
on him. You would go down TO the po-
lice station OF your district and explain
your need and then you would be turned
over to the new clothing bureau. the
German name of which is too compli-
Gated and abstruse for publication. The
new clothing bureau is manned by la
dies of suspicious temperament and a
brusque turn of manner. Those who
have suffered from their inquiries de-
clare that they have been chosen from
that walk of life in which the head Of
the house has two shirts-one for work
and one for Sunday and the bierhalle-
and two shirts only. The ladies look
with positive hostility upon the patri-
clan who boasts of three shirts.
II wish to buy some underclothes."
YOU say. blushing, to the inspectress
who is assigned to your case.
She is as officious and Overbearing and
unpleasant as all German sub-oficials
are always supposed to be. My own eX-
perience with German sub-officials has
been very pleasant, but other people
have described them as meaner than
poison ivy. The herewith included de-
scription OF the inspectresSes of those
who want new clothing comes from
purely German sources. Good. loyal,
Vaterland loving and kaiser-worshiping
Germans have blown themselves up to
the form and color of a Decent balloon
i'm describing these inspectresses. At
any rate. the inspectress desires to see
your present stock of underclothes.
IT have four suits you admit.
But you are only permitted to have
two SUITS says the inspectress.
It's the truth. too. Under the new
regulations the German citizen is enti-
tied to have two suits of underwear,
thickness, material and condition not
stated, and TO more. If there are holes
in them, il is your business to see that
the holes are darned. Not until you
have definitely less than two suits can
YOU get a card enabling you to pur-
chase the missing links in your armor
against the bitter wind of a German
winter.
I have never heard of the excess of
underwear being confiscated by the
state. but that may yet come for the
secondhand clothing bureau, which will
be described later.
More leniency is shown toward foot
wear You may not buy pair or
shoes-you positively may not-until
the old shoes are completely done for.
They have been half-soled with leather
haW
been re-uppered with leather. and final
ly with a leather substitute, but at
last the end has definitely come. Then
you may get permission to buy new.
The old shoes are attached to the per-
nit card by the salesman. and sent
along to some refitting establishment.
where the nails are presumably pulled
out to be used over again, and what
there is left of the material is worked
over in some fashion. But you may
have three pairs of socks without start
ing some fresh legislation against lux
ury and waste.
Assuming that YOU have satisfied the
inspectress on the utter raggedness OF
YOUR concealed haberdashing. although
sufferers allege that no inspectreSs has
Vet been actually satisfied by the con-
dition of any one who was able TO reach
the bureau by daylight. and you demand
two shirts Therefore YOU are entitled
70 b;,,- one more shirt There is no hope
Of cheating the government in this. for
a census has been taken which dis
closes the precise number of shirts ann
other goods you possess. There are no
restrict: IONS as TO the number Of linen
collars YOU may have. but you must get
4 card permit from the inspectress be-
fore you buy more.
And i'm the matter OF clothes;
II YOU have one suit OF clothes you
have all that you are entitled TO.
The government assumes that nothing
c.u conceivably happen to the one suit.
and that you do not need a reserve line
of clothing to fall back upon. NO dlS-
tinction between a Sunday suit and
vorkday suit has ever entered the ad-
n,inistrltive head. You can positively
not buy a suit. or any portion OF suit.
in excess Of the one-suit limit. And If
Won have one overcoat. il is assumed
that YOU arc overcoated sufficiently for
anv occasion. IL makes no difference
IL :he one overcoat is waist-long and
fares like a lamp shade. and was only
intended to protect you from cold looks
at a summer resort. The weather may
be as incredibly cold as only German
winter can be, and still you viii shiver
and hump yourself to work. clad in that
fantastic garment. II - an oNercoaI'
IS IL not? Very well. then.
You have a hat. While you have a
hat you may not buy more hats. Only
the wearied owners OF hats that will
not wear out know what power o.
longevity there is i'm well-nade.
on-.-dome-shaped lid of felt that may
be battered and holed and torn and
still possess the outward seeming or
a hat.
So that IL may be assumed that your
visit TO the inspectresses in search OF a
permission TO buy clothes has failed or
its purpose. Any man-every man you
know-ha.s a closet full Of old clothes,
unless his wife has found a more than
usually golden-tonSued Of clio man. IN
= der present rules i'm Germany those ola
clothes must be worn out. It is true
that Won may sell them and at hideous
and exorbitant prices. An American
who left Germany some time after the
Gerard party. sold his cast-of shoes FOR
- marks 4 pair. take the lot as II Is
u a university professor.
The announcement of death IN a
German paper now brings clothes buy
ers 10 The door-not all professional
clothes buyers but in some cases friends
OF the departed who have laundering
for the striped trousers OF poor Hans,
or the flannel shirt he wore At the shoot