The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-06
MEN, WOMEN
 AND IrMINGS

| LIT. Jonn .. roster, the popular pastor of the First Presbyterian church, told me good one on brother minister. It seems pr. Foster has learned the art of using slack in firing his furnace, thereby reducing the cost of coal
 i He does the shoveling, but lets an old ] negro do the wetting of the slack Gle says it's trade secret that Frank Rush ! ton put him onto). I thought it was pretty clever of Frank to do it. but l reckon as his heart warmed to the min 1 istry he wanted to keep one of his favor ite preachers warm at the least possible , expense
 As usual thing >its the pastor that makes it hot for his parishioners. But this was case of a layman heapins coals of fire upon the head of preacher I may get the process all mixed up. was more interested in the joke than in the system. Yet if it works and cuts down the high cost of heating, I will gladly divulge all I remember about it.
 
 I may get the enmity of the coal deal CTS, but if I do will remind them that it was one of their own dealers who gave the snap away.
 I don't know the chemistry of it, but 1t seems that wetting the slack and then ! throwing it on a bed of live coals in some way cokes it. I may be all wrong in this. Of am, ask Morris Bush for the facts). This is not to be treatise on physics or naineralogy. Keep this in mind By the way, wouldn't it be interesting to have the experiences of all the men who had to fire their own furnaces during the past freeze? You who read this, how did you come out?
 I know a man whose radiators froze. ham, whose hobby is mechanics, told me without even smiling that the pipes in the department store where he exercises his gifts in writing saleable copy and is per- mitted to tinker as side line, that he went down in the basement to work on
 
 cred with icicles.
 This reminds me of my first experience with a porcelain stove. It was during my student days at Berlin. I went to see a friend of mine, an American. It was bit ter cold. He was sitting on top of the stove. He said he was numb from cold, and had lost all interest in his own freez- ing condition, but that his sympathy went out to the. poor frozen stove and he was trying to thaw it out. This may have been an exaggerated statement; anyway, you will think so if you have never tried to get warm by 8 porcelain stove Cor rather refrigerator.
 The first winter I spent in Paris nearly froze. Wood was high and as would buy little on my own account, so went around to wood yard and put down five francs (sD. I thought I would be generous and surprise madame, who kept the pension or boarding house.
 I went home and waited for the dray to come Remember, I went to Paris from Eufaula. In those days sl bought a two-horse load of wood. After bit, a knock on the door aroused me. opened and there stood a porter with my dollars worth of wood strapped on his back. After that I didn't blame the French from sitting around and shivering.
 :
 I might just as well keep on digressing. started out to write about coal and switched off to wood. I go down to some of the mining towns on the mineral railroad and to this day they get loads of fat lightwood for $1 and burn it just like it was green wood" I think of it every time I pass the pile of kindling on the corner of Fifth avenue and Twenty first street, which is a good thermometer. During warm spell it's higher than a mans head, but cold snap soon pulls it to the ground.
 Having practiced law four years I'm going to get back to my coal story and connect my evidence. I believe some where in the front part of this story I left Dr. Foster shoveling coal. For fear that he will die from overexercise I come back to relieve him and take up what he was telling me about his squirt of economy in furnace firing. It seems the old negro helper who dampened the coal for Dr. Foster had an- other preachers furnace to care for, and thinking to save money for him wet down his slack, but only succeeded in putting the fire completely out. In- stead of thanks for his effort at economy, he got bawled out.
 Greatly pcrplexed and worried he came to pr. Foster and said: 'Marster, excus- ing me, but your new project gwine to cost dis old negro his job" 'whats the matter, Uncle Mose?'' asked the doctor. "Oh, nawthin tall jest put out de fire 1 and smoked 'em all out de house" 1 "But," said Dr. Foster. Uncle Nose. my system is alright; you've got to mix in some intelligence when you put the coal in tho furnace" "Yassir. know dat, doctor but dat preacher ain't got none O dat what you are talking about to mix in." Who do you suppose the other preacher was?
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