The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1917-06-14
BROUCHER'S SARCASM
BY HAROLD BRONSON.

lIul cApIulneu MIN. III is TulneT III
awful thing when man gets an Idea
that he has gift for sarcasm. lie
is particularly apt to cultivate 1t.
Broucher became unpopular. He
was not really such bad sort Of fel-
low, not even lll-tempered, but he de-
veloped sort of carping habit of
speech for the more frequent display
Of his gift and his associates natu-
rally got down on him.
1t was in his loneliness that he be-
gan his wooing Of Miss Bardexter, the
meek and amiable little woman whose
nimble, white fingers ratified over the
keys Of the typewriter In the office.
Miss Bardexter rather admired
Broucher's style Of talk. Perhaps II
was she who originally complimented
him on It. Anyway, Broucher got
into the habit Of lingering about her
desk and saying wickedly sarcastic
things about the other men In the
office. The upshot of the thing was
that he married her.
But with the waning Of the honey.
moon II was different. If anything
went a little crossways he usually
called attention to 1t, and Of course
young housekeeper is not an old
one, and things will 60 little cross
ways at first.
Then IL was: dearest. have OBJ
served with some pain that you are
not sufficiently conslderate Of the feel
ings Of the young lady who has so
kindly consented to assist you In the
care Of the household. You must re-
member that girls In domestic service
have their feelings"
"Why, Courtney. dearl / am sure
have always tried"
"Yes, yes, know. don't think you
meant to hurt her. but there Is that
young man OF hers and her girl friend
and her young man In the kitchen
now. / know they are there because
/ hear them very plainly, indeed. They
have been there three nights hand
running now, and you have never
once invited them to use the parlor
and the piano, so that they have been
obliged to put up with the kitchen and
a mouth organ. Don't you think II
would be nice for you to go out and
invite them In. I'm afraid II do 1t |
shall be tactless."
Mrs. BrOucher would look at him
timidly and hesitatingly, and he would
sustain her look with an unpleasantly
bland smile. Then she would go out
to the kitchen, and shortly after the
sounds Of revelry would cease.
But Broucher was not dissatisfied
when letter came announcing visit
from his mother-in-law whom he had
never seen; he said he would be more
than delighted. "You see, we bore
cach other so that any distraction Is
welcome" he said with smile, and
patted his wife on her plump cheek.
But Mrs. Bardexter arrived, bag and
baggage, for a months visit, and then
well, there was DO trouble; she was
mighty sweet and easy-tempered
woman. But she seemed to take
Broucher so seriously. When he came
down n little late and observed that
he apprehended the consideration his
wife had Shown In not waking him,
as he liked to be late at the office, oc-
casionally-it looked independent
then did Mrs. Bardexter exclaim !:
"Well / should think you would be
afraid they might not like It."
"You don't mean to say we have
eggs, dearl" Broucher said little
later. "This is indeed surprise. Nice
little change, isn't it?"
"Emmie said you had been having
them so often lately that you were
kind Of sick of them," said Mrs. Bar
dexter in a surprised tone.
"What did you put that roast In the
oven for, my own?" asked Broucher.
"You have warmed 1t almost through,
/ believe, and II would have been so
much nicer quite raw, to say nothing
of the gas you must have used.
Haven't you n little really raw meat"
Mrs. Bardexter got up from the ta-
Bile, went out and came back with a
nice little piece of raw beefsteak.
"Oh, mamma" said Mrs. Broucher.
Courtney doesn't really like raw
meat. He was just making fun. He
likes II quite well done and I'm afraid
II Is Just little bit undone."
Courtney, do you always mean
what you don't say?" inquired his
mother-in-law.
How could Broucher keep It up? He
couldn't. All this happened in the first
week and Mrs. Bardexter's stay was
prolonged to five more. People with
out any sense of humor are awfully
trying, but there is really no use In
fighting against them.
Courtney" said Mrs. Bardexter,
when she was leaving for her home
in Grand Rapids, "when I first came
noticed that you talked very strange
|y, but you don't do 1t any more and
I'm glad of II for Emmle's sake and
yours. | kind Of think you were jok-
ing, but jokes like that hurt some peo-
ple's feelings. You can't make real
Joke out of grumble and n mean
hing isn't any more pleasant because
you say 1t with smile. That's all
rye got to say. Now, don't tell me
hat you're going to raise the lake
evel two inches with your tears for
ny departure. because I shan't believe
1ou."
81 would tell you that" said