Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1917-01-04
A Bridal
Commission
By JOHN KENAN

Did you ever hear the song, No One
to Love, None to Caressy Well, that's
the way l feel. Father ever since
mothers death has been restless and
cross, and now he's gOin' to give me
a stepmother. l haven't any brothers
Or sisters to love, and I'm goin' to have
stepmOther to hate"
"Why, Amelia" says |, "the thing for
you to do is TO get married"
How can l do that with nobody to
marry me?' she asked, awful sad.
GLOW you talk" says |. "You know
mighty well there's lots of felers that
would he glad to git YOU"
I'D like to know where they are. II
you know any sich l wish you'd send
em around
"Sartain. I'll git you n husband in
no time. Air you particular about his
bein' good lOokin' or hayin' farm Of
his own or anything like that?"
"No, amt particular, leastways |
won't be If you can fix me out before
paw brings that red headed widder into
the house, cause | know I've got to git
out when she comes in."
"IIow much time is there?'
"Well, heard paw say the other day
that he calclated to be married before
the end o next month"
"Supposin' send you feller that
suits you and you suit him, what is
there in 1t for me?"
81 don't see what l can do for you,
Mr. Grimshaw, seein' that haven't
got cent in the world, and there isn't
any favor | know OF that | can do
you. But I suppose'-lOoklng down at
the foor-"havin' made the match.
you'd be entitled to kiss the bride"
This bothered me lot was to
fix up match by which another feller
was to git all the kisses he wanted for
q lifetime, and | was to git one kiss
on the weddin' day.
at seems to me, Amelia" says.
that's like sellin' man a house
wo'th lot o money for commission
He gifts a whole house, and the broker
gifts few dollars
you fOrglt," said Amelia, that the
broker don't want all the houses he
sells. What would he do with emf
Besides, when Il man buys house 1t |
argys that he's able to own house
and wants house, and wants that
particular house. don't see that the
broker earns anything more than his
commission. Do you"
II don't see as he does" says |.
scratchln' my head. And | didn't
Huwsomever, couldn't git it out o
my noddle that | was goin' to git the
little end o. the bargain. But | felt
sorry for Amelia, powerful sorry, for
I'd had stepmOther myself.
rs it customary" says |, ito pay
a commission before the transactions
completed"
"Not at ALL" said Amelia. "That
wouldn't do"
"Why not?"
"Well, the broker, bavln' got his pay,
wouldn't take any pains in the mat
ter"
"If he didn't do his work he might
return what he'd received"
"In that case he'd git double pay for
is, II his commission was
4 kiss"
"Isn't there sOmepln among business
men like payln' part down, the rest
when the deal has gone throughT
"That's got nothln' to do with bro
lers; It's when you buy piece OF
yourself"
"Well," says, givin' 1t up, 81 reckon
ri have to wait for my pay till I've
lone the job"
got up and was goln' out when
Amelia said:
"IIow soon are you goln' to send a
ellerW
~ dunno. Somehow l don't like the
Seems to me he'll git the
ions share"
"Well, Mr.. Grimshaw, since you look
It 1t that way don't know but |
ought to make 1t more to your interest
o do the job. l might double the
one-half payable In ad-
rance."
"Now you're shoutin'," I said, and
instead of goin away sat down agin
md TUX the first half o. my cOmmis-
sion. 1t tasted so good that | began
light off to banker for the other half
If my pay.
Amelia" says, you couldn't pay
t all in advance, could you?"
"Sartain not. What would there be
o hold you to your work"
| thOrt awhile, and then | said:
"Supposln' l make the deal for my
elf"
what do you mean by that"
~ mean supposln' l fist take the
ther feller by the nape o. the neck
nd put him out. Then, instead O
ctln' as his broker acquire the prop
rty in my own name"
Land sakes, Mr.. Grimshaw!"
That was all the talkin' we done.
was hungry for another kiss, and
lk her in my arms and had u dozen
'lthout stoppln'.
"Good gracious, Mr.. Grlmshaw, what
on doin'?" she says.
"T'm maxim a fust payment to bind
lie bargain"
Amelia and was married before her
lther brought the stepmother to his
Duse, and Amelia found a home with
70. One OF her old flames on our wed.
In day claimed right to kiss the