The Washington times., 1917-04-07
WEEKLY COMMENT
OF THE RADIATOR
Frank Discussion of Motor
Matters by The Times Auto
mobile Editor.
By MONTE w. sOHN.

the American Motorist, arises with
the remark that New York's decree
that any person found guilty OF drfv'
ing an automobile while intoxicated
will be sentenced to q year in the
penitentiary and q fine of $500 err
only on the side OF leniency
It should be five years in the peni'
tentiary and S5 fine"
To which we add, by the same
token, Mr.. UIlman errs only on the
side OF leniency.
In the old days, when some par
ticularly dangerous pest ramped pes
tilentially over ideals and decency
we used to say, 'hanging's too good
for him"
But you can't hang a man for be
ing a fool.
You have either OF two choices.
On the one hand, you have q Col
lege for the Feeble-Minded.
The other hand belongs to the arm
of the law, and after all, however
gutta percha the statutes may be, we
must work through the city fathers
or the Federal grandfathers.
Some Cases In Point.
Two years ago we were invited 10
take a trip fifty miles out OF New
York. We refrained because 1t was
an inconvepient time. Two gentle
men made the trip together. They
went in for the ounce or INDOOR
sports en- route. On the way back
one of them, who had suffered him.
self to indulge an ultra-jovial guam
tity OF bottled merriment, nudged the
other in a pair of ticklish ribs. The
car shot across the road and turned
turtle. One Of the gentlemen died.
The other retains a tormenting rec
ollection-
In Philadelphia in February, 1915,
a young man, driving a party Of
young men and women, amused them
by skidding his car. The streets were
wet after a heavy rain, and their
surface lent themselves perfectly to
this sport
The young driver, under the sport
ing influence OF some good" Scotch,
brought shrieks of delight from the
feminine members OF the party by
driving madly along the street and
then suddenly releasing his clutch
and slamming on his brakes. The
spinning was highly amusing to his
guests, and since it was long after
midnight the traffic cops were scarce.
1t was a messenger boy, on a
bicycle. The skidding car first swept
him.
From these-and there are at least
six or nineteen more instances of the
derogatory influence of John B. on
the motor car driver-we imply, in
fsrentially, our agreement with New
York, Bill Ullman, and the second
paragraph.
The weird part OF the bibulous bird
who ffrts with fate is that he isn't
hep.
We have met him in various places,
and invariably his argument is the
same.
"when /. get q couple of drinks,
drive better'n when I'm sober. /
dunno, makes me more care
full sharpens m'wits."
Because Brain QuIts JobF
And when a man has wrapped him.
self around fifteen or eighteen high
balls, why Is it that he wabbles at
the knees, his steps indefinite? Is It
because his brain-the chief dis
patcher's office OF the whole body
has quit on the job2
When we mentioned fifteen or
eighteen highballs We were speaking
about the average drinker. We ad-
NIT the existence OF folks who can hit
harder than this.
The brain unquestionably suffers first
But even the booze-hghting automobile
driver knows this old joke Of the anti
ouated family doctor {. 50 why
preach
Neither beefng nor teaching has any
effect on this bird.
You're got TO be rough with him.
The District becomes QuakerIy prim
in liquid hmuserents after November
i but Maryland is just across the street.
and the driver who travels with a COM
bination carburetor for alcohol and
gasolene will continue along the same
distorted trail
And we, for one, believe revocation
Of license, fine, Imprisonment and proper
posting ought to be the punishment
When we say posting" we refer TO q
physical rebuke:
The whipping post