Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1917-12-30

| SUN GRINS
BY D. B. HAMILTON.
Ist Captain Somewhere in France)
"Do you take-any masazinesE
End Captain-"Not yet, fri'H
guards them too darn close
Why, Indeed?
To spring this we are goadeds
Tho II may make you tired;
But when a man gets loaded,
Why shouldn't he be fired?
Luke McLuke.
To crack this we are tickled.
Tho someo one on us land;
But, when a man gets picked.
why shouldn't he be canned?
Grouch-"Say waiter This soup
is Just right for a hog"
Walter-"Yes sir, yes sir; we strive
to please"
To Drive and Butcher.
WANTED-Butcher experienced;
must know how to drive Ford. Call
Monday morning at 6:S0.-Ad In *.
C. Star.
Almost Right.
Teacher-"Who was 1t the British
hanged as a spy? Johnny, you may
tell u.s."
Johnny-"It was Nathan Hale"
Teacher-"Correct What were
his last words?"
Johnny-"That he was sorry he
had only one vote with which to save
his country"
What About Singing?
"Of monographs I'm weary"
Said old man Jimmy Chalk
II wish they'd get 'dipthery'
So bad they couldn't talk"
So There,
"Pll never, never speak to him
why don't YOU write him what you
think of him ?'
"But ] can't Nobody makes as
tes.os writing paper"
Ha mSays.
May may not have a superior mind.
But bless Pete, he doesn't sit flat on
the cold floor to put on his socks.
1t is said to be very beneficial TO
spend thirty minutes in exercise each
morning. But ITS dinged inconven-
lent for the boardcrS to use the bath
room for that purpose
You may make ashlt with a woman
to tell her she has good understand
ing. But not So when you are re-
feriing to the size Of her shoe.
A fond father OF one can always
tel you right off the bat the exact
age In days OF his baby But after
there are about five. ne can't even
remember their birthdays.
II a prospective bride could only
get n line on how much he intends to
hand the preacher, she will know
fairly well what her luck is going to
be along that line.
They say Better late than .pever."
But even at that, is /. proper to write
"A warm friend on a guys tombstone
after his department 70 a doubtful des-
t!nation?
Many a man who could quit guzzling
If he wanted to. can't buckle his belt
in The same hole lie did last year.
You know that cue about promises
and piecrusts Wei. sinkless ships.
pumcture proof tires and New Years
resolutions all belong in the samv
class.
Wher a man can kiss his best girl
after she has been eating onions and
sti'l love her. it is hlih timc t> begin
wondering what the sam Hill would
be suitable present.
Now that Uncle Sam is official ram
rod Of the railroads. why can't no
alsc include a certain street car sys-
TEN?
Two things most men cannot do
are 20 climb a tree when il leans to-
ward him and spoon girl when she
leans from him.
Conditions do hnprove For no
mere do we see The rickety dodad
built of empty 3pooS in the corner
OF the best room.
our neighbor's daughter says when
steamer is torpcdood II seems that
some of the passengers might be saved
nv clinging to the ships log
Who They Really Arc.
Paw, may ! ask one more ques-
tion?"
yes. but only one more"
We'll. who are the common peo-
ple?"
TITS folks before they mortgage the
home for an automobile. Now shut
up, OF to bed you go,'
Pretty is Not as Prcttyman Does.
WILMINGTON. Del-Clarence and
Edward Prettyman were arrested to-
day charged with arson following n
fire that destroyed their plant-News
| Note.
New Years Carol.
oh where lis my wandering keyhole