The Pensacola journal., 1917-08-20
THE SCRATCH PAD
BY THOMAS EWING 0AsMEY.
GOODBYE

GOODBYE
This is the last day in which we
do duty in this observation trench. |
Having been ordered to another sec
tor of the journalistic battlefield, we
are entraining this morning. Our
billet here has been most pleasant.
When we first saw Pensacola over
year ago, it was a bower of sweet
pease-every yard flecked with the
bright Colored notes: a profusion Of
blossom that we only saw equalled
by that mile-wide strip of dogwood
forest, in Santa Rosa county in full
blossom. And I shall not forget how
kind the people have been and how
delicious the watermelons. Not to!
mention the Crestview honey in the
brave days of the Blackwell trial, and
Colton's peanuts, and the ''scrawny
calves" which the Milton Gazette is
exploiting. And McRae's goats. And
Smithwicks laugh There can't be
much sorrow in a world that pro-
duces a laugh like that. And Bruce
| Weeks eternal hope that Cincinnati
will win a game. And Johnny Jones
enthusiasm. And Harry Howland's
| happiness when anything happens to
| Tom Watson. But the bugle is blow
| ing, and under the following barage,
we effect our mobilization:
Close observers comment on the
cow-hke expression to the face OF
| girls who chew gum.
We notice that the war grooms
aren't worrying over the possibility
of the war coming to America. you
might as we'll be killed for sheep
as a lamb" they add, darkly.
Mileage will be the only royalty"
that Mississippi sheriff will get if he
goes after Kaiser Bill, charged with
murder in the Magnolia state.
We are betraying no secrets of
state when we say that anti-tobacco
agitators look with cold and clamn1y
eye on Nikitine in the Russian cab
met.
The Gore in Congress is no doubt
responsible for the groan IN Gronna.
Whatever else may be said about
Congress, it is giving us valuable
tice in securing a mastery of the
| air.
The chief difference between a lun1-
herman and a congressman is that
the lumbernan thinks in wood and
| the CONGRESSMAN with 1t.
While ransacking in recollection's
fondest vault the other day, we ran
across the photo of a Mexican bandit
who used to pull Carranza's vener-
able whiskers and was killed and
crippled and buried any number of
practice in securing mastery Of the
Kaiser Bills army, and to save our
neck we couldn't think of the name
of this bold, bad man.
Among the food pirates whom the
administration control of the wheat
prices will force to disgorge, the bak-
ers should not be forgotten. They
have been selling microscopic loaves
of bread long enough.
The governments suggestion that
everybody raise rabbits reminds US
of the Belgian hare ballyhoo, which
was so successful in separating people
from their money in our boyhood
days.
A Mississippi saw1nill is run en-
| tirely by women, and we advise the
men not to have anything to do with
the cutting creatures.
From everywhere in the country
come reports of dropping prices, yet
From Take Calais or Die" Kaiser
Bill has now reached the stage of
Hold lines at any cost" and it won't
be long before ne will be shouting
my kingdom for a horse"
The horror of the recent heat wave
was augmented by the shortage OF
baseball fans.
In view of the announcement by the
| British ambassador that Charlie
| Chaplin's services are not yet needed
| at the front, military strategists are
| Wiling 10 COIlC6uS INdL LAlCAC AoS O~~A
a postponement of the great custarc
pie drive.
John G. Underhiu, of New York
has been appointed lieutenant of in
fantry, but it seems to US that the
Engineers would have been more ap
propriate.
AS proved by its baseball team
it was useless to hope that the siI
would be taken out of Cincinnati; fol
which reason the government didn'
consider that city in placing the arm!
cantonments.
Some people work as hard as ;
newspaper man, but it takes son1'
to do it. Take our own case 70,
instance; 81 inches of editorial day
or total Of 1910 inches year;