The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-23

Mein dear son Heine:
Veil. Heine, adj lasdt I half did idt,
l haff choined a golluf Club. Golluf
ISIS der greadt national game off der
Scottish peoples, so history says, but
L don't pelieve idt. Der only Scottish
Teller vot We haff adj der Club ISIS en-
gagged to wipe off der grounds adj fif-
teen dollars per week ven der oder
peoples ISIS thru blaying, und der per
sonnet off der Club ISIS gombosed off
three lrishmen, der rest Unitedt Stad-
tesers und Won Dutchman, vich don't
count. So we're does der Scotissher
gone in? To pegin adj der beginning,
golluf ISIS composed off a number off
essential tings. Der first ISIS der in
stfunents V1ch ISIS required for der
game. Der most important ISIS der
pail Now der gol1uf pail ISIS a COM
mon baseball vich ISIS picked too
young Idts size ISIS undetermined
for der reason dot ven you puy idt
puy der store in idt ISIS apoudt der
SIZE OF a vatermelons, but ven you
try TO NIT 1dt nit der golluf Club idt
ISIS so small dot idt wouldn't choke a
mosquito. Den ISIS der golluf Club.
Der golluf Club ISIS a broom stick nit
Wart on der end. Dere ISIS seferal
kinds off CLUBS, for instagnance, der
dr1fer, putty iron, brassiere, middle
iron und loafer cleek Der object off
der game ISIS to found out vich Club
to use adt der broper time. IF you
make a bum shoot blame idt on nodt
hating der right Club.
NOW anoder ting vich ISIS necessary
und dot ISIS to half a goot stock off
swear words. IF you can't swear, you
CANT blay golluf. but der rules re-
qulre dot you don't gedt closer as
twenty-five feet to lady vile blay-
ing, so for dot reason no one knows
how dey manage idt init or mitoudt
swearing. Der golluf grounds ISIS
composed off oop hill und down NIT
a hole in der groundt adj der end off
efery so often. Now, to pegin bIay-
ing you take der Club nit der biggest
vart, und den buildt a little blay-
house off sand, und set der golluf
pail on top. Den stood oop und swing
der Club und efer SO hardt hit der
pall-sometimes, IF you hit der pail.
all right. IF you miss idt. den ISIS
we're der swearing ISIS used Der man
acher off der Club in COMMUNICATING
me on mine blaying saidt dot idt cost
der Club two dollars und sixty-nine
cendts to fix oop der grounds efery
time L tried to hit der pail. You keen
trying, und ven you hit der pail final
ly. den ISIS we're der Doctors recon-
mendation pegins to work. You gedt
der exercisings. You walk to der blaze
we're der pail dropped. but nefer iss
idt dere. IF you half hired a watch
dog, vich ISIS CALLED der "caddie" he
also looks for der pail. Dot ISIS his
chob. Your chob ISIS to tell him we're
ISIS der pail SO he gan holdt hiss
chob puy finding idt. Always der ball
stops rolling in a hole.
Den you Wait until nopody ISIS look
ing. und pick idr oudt off der hole
, und fix idt in a blaze we're you gan
hit idt,-maybe. Den start in again
und hit some more, und keep idt oop
until der pail gedts on vot ISIS CALLED
der green" vich iss a small island
! off ground surrounded puy oder
groundt NIT a hole in idt to small for
| der pail to go inside. Der object now
ISIS to gedt der pail in der hole Ven
you haff holed in you half holed oudt,
vich ISIS der end off der beginning.
i Den ISIS idt time to start again. Heine,
/ idt ISIS a greadt game I lost sefen
pals, der caddies stole two more, /
broke fife CLUBS, und busted two sus-
pender puttons,-also learned sefen
new swear words from a preacher vot
vos also blaying. Also, I beat all der
( oder players. Vun Teller who idt iss
saidt ISIS a fine hlayer only made a
score off forgiven, but puy golly. ]
wound oop init der grand total of
four hundret und ninety someding
der biggest score vot vos made, for
watched der scores ven dey vos turned
N puy der Club house. I vos sur