Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-05-16
l
THE CROSS.EYED COOK

the time had been without a. servant
at all. After each and every departure
of the presiding DANES of the culinary
department Of the Brooks household,
Mrs. Brooks declared that she was sick
and tired of fooling with them, and
that thereafter she would do all the
cooking with her own fair hands. Mrs.
Brooks was long on enthusiasm, but
trife short on experience and skill,
and after q week or two of wheat
cakes with all the taste and JucinesS
of asbestos, chops with all the endur-
ance and elasticity Of rope-ends, and
coffee that tasted like chill tonic,
Mr.. Brooks was wont to declare that
she was simply wearing herself to n
frazzle; that he wasn't going to have
it any longer, and that a cook must be
Immediately signed up.
1t was on the first evening after they
had moved into a new flat, and just
otter Mr.. Brooks had taken stand Of
this sort that Mrs. Brooks announced
that she had that day engaged new
cook, who had promised to appear on
the following morning.
On his return home from the office
the following evening, instead OF Mrs.
Brooks, he met at the door Of the
fiat an apparition that made him give
a perceptible start before he could
control himself. 1t was a huge. bony,
white-turbaned negress, with COM
plexion of Stygian blackness and the
cross-eyedest pair of cross-eyes that
Brooks had ever seen in a human be-
ing.
He walked back into the fiat won
dering where his wife could be. That
person came bouncing in almost at
that instant, explaining that she had
just run out for some flowers, the oc-
casion being one that seemed to call
for some celebration. "Have you seen
her." she demanded.
"Oh, it's q her, is it?" said Mr..
Brooks. "I'm glad you told me or l
might not have known. Yes, I have
seen her, and I am still a trifle weak
from the shock"
"What is the name Of this ill-favored
daughter of Ham?"
"Gwendolyn," replied Mrs. Brooks.
"Gwendolyn," repeated her husband,
sinking weakly down upon couch.
1t was a very agreeable odor that
smote Mr.. Brooks nostrils SIS he lifted
the cover from Gwendolyn's dishes.
And they proved TO be no false her
aids. Not many times in his life had
he sat down to so satisfying meal,
he soon found himself saying. Slipping
a cup Of delicious coffee, Mr.. Brooks
lit cigar, pushed his chair back from
the table, and forthwith pronounced
the gargoylian Gwendolyn the original
pearl of great price. Mr.. Brooks, in
fact, was so pleased and satisfied that
he could not resist the temptation to
tease his young wife little.
81 might have known, though" he
said gloomily, that there would be
some thorn to the rose. How could
you have deliberately invited bad luck
by bringing a cross-eyed negro into
the flat just as we have moved into
it?"
Mrs. Brooks looked up in alarm. Her
eyes widened. "Why. really, are they
bad luck?" she inquired anXiously.
"Are they bad luck?" he repeated
solemnly. "Do you mean to tell me
that you've lived almost twenty-five
years and never heard that about Il
cross-eyed negro. Why my dear child,
they're almost the worst luck there is"
"How dreadful" exclaimed Mrs.
Brooks, looking as if some horrible ca
lamity had already befallen. What
are we going to do about it?"
Nothing" said Mr.. Brooks. We'll
just stand pat. You see it may be
years and years before this bad luck
happens, so there's no use worrying
about ii"
Meals at the Brooks fiat continued
to be enjoyable. Gwendolyn remained
gloomy and silent, but she proved her
self Il born cook, and Brooks wended
his way homeward every evening with
great satisfaction in the thought Of the
dinner that was waiting him.
1t was month or two after Gwendo-
lyn's initial triumph that Mr.. Brooks
went home one evening and found his
wife cooking dinner and also herself
in the kitchen. She explained that it
was Gwendolyn's afternoon off.
1t was after her husband had eaten
bravely through the meal that Mrs.
Brooks gathered herself together and
suddenly burst out:
John, just now l told you only a
half truth. 1t is the cooks day off, but
she isn't coming back any more"