davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
If; Then Why?

Mr.. Senator:
IF you had been serving in your
present capacity at a salary which
had been the standard one for that
position for more than half CEN
tury;
IF you had seen other positions
under the same government on nu-
merous occasions become financially
more desirable; Il
IF living costs had reached such
prohibitive figures that your salary,
which fifty years ago enabled you to
purchase all the necessities and a
few luxuries, was now daily growing
more insufficient to purchase even the
articles of a bread and butter exist
ence;
IF your families were in need of
food and clothing and a decent place
in which to live;
IF, whenever your problem had
been brought to the attention of your
government, it had always been side
tracked in the name of economy, or
some phase equally ridiculous;
IF you had been promised from
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
A PIECE YOU CAN SPEAK.

On. like to hear a feIler who will whis-
tie at his work;
I like to hear a worker who will hum
a little tune.
Ef a fellers got some music, why, he
amt 50 apt to shirk;
He kin change bleak December into
mild and merry June.
What's the use Of feelin' blue?
There is sunshine here for you.
Life is mostly what you make it: make
1t meller-lf<e an true.
Care will often run away s..
Eff he finds you're feelin' gay.
open Up your music, brother, an, by
thunder, let it play!
What's the use O. feelin' blue?
Natures happylike an true
Help the world to be more cheerful an
twill do the same fur you
Blue is all right in the sky,
= All right in a maiden's eye.
But don't git it in your system; it will
kin. you by-an'-by.
Joe Cone in Cspper's Weekly.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

time to time that your condition
would be made more bearable;
IF, after years of such injustice,
through Sle medium of public spirit
ed newspaper, sufficient evidence had
been brought to bear upon the very
body of men who were responsible
for the spending of public moneys
and they had agreed beyond doubt
to give you raise which would clear
some OF the clouds from the horizon
of your future;
IF, after this action another body
of men whom it was necessary to
have concur on that raise, had,
through their committee, eliminated
these raises in their entirety;
IF that same old cry of economy"
had been given to you as the reason
for the unjust treatment, you would
probably give up all hope of ever
obtaining justice from the country
which you are told to revere and sup
port, and, in despair, sink into your
enforced rut;
THEN WHY, when this same
problem affects your fellow man who
is less fortunate than yourself, don't
you reverse the finding of the few
men who make up your committee,
and go on record as humanitarian
body to which the cause of justice is
paramount. Give to the government
employees this slight raise which will
enable them at least an insight above
the level of poverty and add feature
to the record OF the Sixty-fourth
Congress that will always be source
OF. pride to our nation
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
SALTS fine FOR
Aching KIDNEYS
We Eat Too Much Meat, Which Clogs
Kidneys, Then Back Hurts and
Bladder Bothers You.

Most folks forget the kidneys, like the
bowels. get sluggish and clog and need
flushing occasionally, else we have
backache and dull misery in the kidney
region, severe headaches, rheumatic
twinges. torpid liver, acid stomach. sleep
lessness and all sorts of bladder dis
orders.
You simply must keep your kidneys
active and clean, and the moment you
feel an ache or pain in the kidney region,
get about four ounces of Jad Salts from
any good drug store here, take a table
spoonful in glass of water before
breakfast for few days and your kid
neys will then act fine. This famous
salts is made from the acid of grapes
and lemon juice. combined with lithia.
and is harmless to flush clogged kidneys
and stimulate them to normal activity.
1t also neutralizes the acids in the urine
so it no longer irritates. thus ending
bladder disorders.
Jad Salts is harmless: inexpensive;
makes a delightful effervescent lithia-
water drink which everybody should take
now and then to keep their kidneys clean,
thus avoiding serious complications.
A well-known local druggist says he
sells lots of Jad Salts to folks who be-
lieve in overcoming kidney trouble while
! 1t II only trouhle.-Adv,
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
Today's Events.

Bible conference. Gospel Mission D. m. and
80 p m
Lecture. L Oscar Moon. An INTERPRETATION
Of the Life Of Today and the Oh Responsibility
Toward It." at Friends Church, D. m
Junior Prom. Catholic University Graduate
Meeting. Board Of Trade. New Willard. s
p N.
Dinner trustees. National Cathedral School for
Boy, at the school. 80 =. m.
der Hall. s2 Twentieth street northwest p m.
Bss, Hotel Lafayette y. m
Meeting. crGnmittee on suffrage Chamber nf Com
merce. in rooms Of organization, } p. m.
Lecture. Miss Louise QUITS Powell. Current
Events for Busy People" Cairo S ?. IN.
Meeting Of executive committee Teachers Club.
g. Eleventh street northwest 3A5 p. m.
Meeting MidCity Citizens Association. o. s.
Savings Bank Building s n. m.
Meeting. College Equal Suffrage League, ISIS
Rhode lslsnd avenue at p. m.
Meeting. Central Citizens Association, North
Capitol Savings Bank. D. IN.
ADJUSTMENTS.
Nstional-"The Birth Of a Nation 2:lS and
Sis p
Relasco-"E1perience." s:l5 p m.
Keith's-NaudeSile, 2:l5 and Sis p m.
Pos-Thurston. the Magician sl5 p m.
Gsyety-Burleslue, 2:l5 and s:l5 D. N.
CCSnos-Vaudevtlle I2:D To l13 p. m.
Colmnha-Motion pictures 1o:so q. m. to II p. m
Strsnd-PhotOplsys 10 a. m to 1870 D. N
GsIden-Photopsys. 10 q m. to lo2a m.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
A. DEWEY SEA STORY.

Dewey discussing the naval battle of
Skagerrak, said at Washington lunch
con:
"A naval officer, to succeed must be
very quick witted as well as resourceful.
In fact he must be like Hamilton Foot
lites.
Ham Footlites leaned on the rail of his
seagoing yacht soliloquizing about love
while the blue waves rolled and heaved
splendidly, each blue wave being a super
under a roll of canvas.
But the waves were here and there
threadbare, and suddenly a wave ripped
and head bobbed up in the midst of
the heaying sea and stared around in be-
wildered fashion
Ham Footlites silenced the audience S
filters with one stern glance.
Man overheard he yelled in stem
torian tones.
Then the super, managing to draw
back his head through the hole in the
wave, disappeared Ham Footltes heav-
ed stormy sigh. e..
Another victim seized by the re-
lentiess sea. alas" he said. chicago
Herald
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

One act in regard to the Inaugural
tion which stands out above all others
is/ the awarding the contract for
building of stands at the Capitol to
local contractor There have been
too frequent instances where out-of-
town firms have been awarded the
contracts for public celebrations of
this kind, and the action of the Con-
gressional committee having the
awarding in charge is very COM
mendable.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

Inc clerk was up to his ears in nara
sois' he was a good salesman, had a
are are command Of language, and knew
70 eHpatiate on the best points Of
the goods he sold. As he nictHd =
parasol from a lot on the oounts- -
opened it, he struck an attitude OF a.
miratiOn and said: VI
=. now there! Look at that silk, Ism,
II lovely? Particularly observe the gusI-
ny the finish. the general effect 20
IL Pass your hand over II No ror
Sense ,.se ABOUT this parasol. Is there
-, no said the lady. 1T has worn we'll
ta-l II my Old one l Just laid il down
here.'-New York Times
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

writer knows absolutely and specifically
whereof he speaks. The in1exibility OF
the statutory roll fs costing the govern
ment untold thousands per annum. lts
results are about the same As those OF
other instruments of tyranny and op-
preston.
Imagine great business house allow
ing another concern to take away VAL
uable bookkeeper at an increase OF XVI
per annum because it was necessary 10
wait for the cashier to die or resign be-
iore the bookkeeper could be promoted
And further observe that not only
rival government bureaus are bidding
Tor these trained employees. Some Of the
nnest and brightest of our young men
ana women clerks are leaving the gov
ernment service for better opportunities
outside, and hundreds and hundreds of
them are refusing the entrance salaries
now being offered by the government
ASK the Civil Service Commission about
this. Just at the present moment 1t is
almost impossible to get a sufficient
number of desirable candidates to fill ex-
listing vacancies.
should Break Deadlock.
BY deadlocking statutory rolls, Congress
mas created a situation which is react
ing on the government to an extent not
dreamed OF by these lawmakers. There
iio Hiofc important matter Tor Congress
10 consider at this time than ways and
means for granting sufficient number of
increases to break this deadlock. Imme-
oiate action OF some kind is needed. One
method of relief would be to permit some
hexibility in statutory rolls, along the line
recommended in the appropriation bill for
the Postofflce Department Often It would
be OF the greatest assistance to an ad-
ministrative officer IL he could remove
800 or 800 from certain places, as they
become vacant, and add these increases
to other places. Otherwise he is con-
unually In the position where he has an
opportunity to promote Smith. who is
tairly well paid. but cannot promote
Brown, who is notoriously underpaid.
observe that during the present ses-
sion. 1t was stated to be In view OF a
proposed horizontal increase that all spe-
cial Increases were dropped out. Does
the Congress mean to throw out the hori-
zontal increase after 1t has served its
purpose as a reason for dropping special
increases?
Is this the fair play to be expected of
American statesmenship?
ONE WHO KNOWS.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
Purely Personal

Miss Van Amring. of New York, enter
tanned at the Burlington last evening, her
guests at dinner party being Mrs. Theo-
dore V. Boynton. Capt Colven, DR..
Morse. and Mr.. Colwell.
Miss Minnie VI. James has received a
probationary appointment in the General
Land Office.
J. Ballard Moore of the Patent OfIice
has resigned.
Arthur Harrington, Of the Geological
Survey, has resigned.
Robert c. Willis. of the General Land
Ofrice, has received a promotion.
George II. MCGUIRE has been reinstatet
in the General Land Office
James f. Greer has been reinstated ir
the Patent Office.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

The way that's srnooth-the easy way
For that how many thousands pray
Who fear the rock-strewn roads ahead
And look on thorny paths with dread!
That's human nature-but the lane
Too smooth is likewise full of pain;
How oft hath human pomp and pride
Net grief upon the ice slide
The small boy on these winter nights
Hath polished for his sole's delights!
Copyright. IsT7J
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

These starving Germans that we
read so much about don't make half
the fuss that healthy American nan
creates when his dinner is a few
minutes late.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

Over in Alexandria they decide
that a bachelor can only drink when
he is at home, and then they further
decide that bachelor cannot have
home. Well, they must do something
to boost the parsons salaries.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

"China's demand on Russia not set
tied" says a Chicago headline. There
are several other little demands be-
ing tossed about among the countries
of Europe awaiting settlement.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
NEW YORK HOTEL ARRIVALS

New York, Jan. 2l-The following
Wsshingtonians have registered at nc
tells here:
Herald Square,. T BowIen.
Grand-I. A. Craven, E. S. Moler, w.
Msrles, L. Robertson and II. z Welsh
Aberdeen-W. z. Meyer.
Murray Hiu-H. +. Meyer
New Victoris-F. F. SchaIler
Flanders-F. c. Walcott
Gregorian-Nrs. j. +. Zelture
Strand-Mrs. E. B. n Ogden
CUmberland-Mrs. s. S Forst and s S
Forst
Nsvarre-H. II. Gordon and ]. S. Wallis.
Park Avenue-Mrs. Lass and W. r.
Lass. 81
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

A West Virginia woman IS years
old has just married one of her
boarders who is 70 years of age. It's
a mighty good method of holding
your boarders.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

A West Virginia woman says she
is tired of living with her drunken
husband and asks to be separated
for a while Suppose after a little
vacation she will grow homesick for
the old treatment.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

The U-boats landed ffty-nine YES
sells during the last week. This is
Just two varieties better than the
Heinz boast.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

At one time it looked as though
the side with the most money would
win the war, but it now looks as
though the side which can float the
biggest debt will get the sweepstakes.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

A baby born, in jitney bus in
Richmond, Va, has been christened
Nicholas. these Virginians were al
ways stronr for instilling the men,
ory OF their birthplace in the children.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

After the weather Of yesterday
there probably will be numerous
other leaks" discussed.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

"All we know" says Representative
Kitchin, "is that we must have more
money" A very frank admission.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

There was a time when Carranza
ard Villa were both fighting on the
same side.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

The Wheeling News calls the Ger
man raider the Col. Mosby of the
seas.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
Learn To Prevent
AsWeuAsHeal
Skin Troubles
With Cuticura

How much better to prevent
skin suffering by using Cuticurs
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
ALINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR.

Fnt printing Of original poem. written taiJ
for The Washington Herald
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

Twenty-three operations are necessar!
in the washing and ironing of a collar
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
TOO SMOOTH.

BY John Kendrfck Bangs.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22
Tues Jan. II
NATIONAL
THEtTER.
z.30,

Seats nov On sale
At Mrs. Gre-pss
ilcket Office in
DroopL 18th and g
The Washington herald., 1917-01-22

Tn Star Sne~
Tickets & GE
s.. ohicp Of T
Arthur Smith. ms
6 n.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-10-15
TheErenin6 Story
Hung Up In Devils Gap.
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The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

| We'll, and he don't have az good
color as he was gettin'. before. And
he'd begin to fill out some, but"
| Sheridan gave forth another dry
chuckle, and, going round the table to
her. patted her upon the shoulder with
his left hand, his right being still
heavily bandaged. though he no longer
wore sling. That's the way 1t is
with you. mamma-got to take your
frettin' out one way If you don't an
other!"
mo. He don't look well. 1t amt
exactly the way he looked when he
begun to get sick that time, but he
kind o. seems to be losin', some way"
"Yes, he may "a lost something"
said Sheridan. Il expect he's lost a
whole lot O. foolishness besides his
Godforsaken notions about writin'
poetry and"
NO" his wife persisted. II mean
he looks right peakid. And yesterday,
when he was settin' with us, he kept
lookin' out the window. He wasn't
readin'."
We'll, why shouldn't he look out
the Window"
He was lookin' over there. He
never read word all afternoon. !
don't believe"
Look herew said Sheridan. "Bibbs
might "a kept goin' on over there the
rest of his life. moonin' on and on, but
what he heard Sibyl say did one big
thing, anyway. 1t woke him up out
,p bio tropaa Wall ha had tO Oh md
bust clean ont with bang; and that
stopped his goin' over there, and it
stopped his poetry, but | reckon he's
begun to get pretty fair pay for what
he lost. l guess a good many young
men have had to get over worries like
his: they got to lose something If
they're goin' to keep ahead O. the pro-
cession nowadays-and it kind o. looks
TO me, mamma, like Bibbs might keep
quite considerable long way ahead.
Why, year from now I'll bet you
he won't know there ever was such
thing as poetry! And amt he funny?
He wanted to stick to the shop SOS he
could 'thinkr What he meant was,
think about something useless. Well.
guess he's keepin' his mind pretty
occupied the other way these days.
Yes, sir, 1t took pretty fair-sized
shock to get him out of his trance,
but 1t certainly did the business" He
patted his wife's shoulder again, and
then, without any predatory symptoms.
broke into boisterous laugh.
Honest, mamma, he works like
gorllla!"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
CHAPTER XXI.

1t was a full hour later when he left
her lying upon a couch in her own
room, still lamenting that the fuss
which she was making irked him far
more than his physical loss. He per-
mitted her to think that he meant to
return directly to his office, but when
he came out to the open air he told the
chauffeur in attendance to await him
in front of Mr.. Vertrees' house, whith-
er he himself proceeded on foot.
Mr.. Vertrees had taken the sale of
half of his worthless stock as mama
in the wilderness; it came from heav
en-by what agency he did not partic-
ularly question. The broker informed
him that parties were interested in
getting hold of the stock" and that
later there might be possible In
crease In the value of the large
amount retained by his client. 1t
might go quite ways up within a
year or so, he said, and he advised
sitting. tight" with it. Mr.. Vertrees
went home and prayed.
He rose from his knees feeling that
he was surely coming into his own
again. 1t was more than mere gasp
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

you go and do that without consulting
me?"
"It didn't cost anything" said Bibbs
ITS only until tomorrow afternoon al
two o'clock. l undertook to convince
you before then"
"Oh, you did?" Sheridan's tone was
sardonic. well. just suppose you
couldn't convince me-
II can. though-and l intend to-
said Bibbs. quietly. Il don't think you
understand the condition of those
buildings you want patched up
"Now. see here" said Sheridan, with
slow emphasis: Suppose l had my
mind set about this. Jim thought
they'd stand. and suppose it was-well
kind of matter of sentiment with me
to prove he was right"
Bibbs looked at him compassionate
ly. I'm sorry If you have senti-
meut about it, father" he said. But
whether you have or not can't make
difference. You'll get other people
hurt If you trust that process, and that
won't do. And II you want a monu-
ment to Jim, at least you want one
that will stand. Besides. don't think
you can reasonably defend sentiment
in this particular kind of affair"
"Oh, you don't?"
mo. but I'm sorry you didn't tell me
you felt it,
Sheridan was puzzled by his sons
tone. why are you 'sorry'?" he asked,
curlously
Because / had the building inspec-
tor up there. this noon." said Bibbs,
land I had him condemn both those
buildings"
"What?"
He'd been afraid to do It before,
until he heard from us-afraid you'd
see he lost his job. But he can't un-
condemn them-they've got to come
down now"
Sheridan gave him long and plerc-
ing stare from beneath lowered brows.
Finally he said. How. long did they
give you on that option to convince
me?"
Until two o'clock tomorrow after
noon"
"All right" said Sheridan, not re-
laxing. I'm convinced"
Bibbs jumped up. 81 thought you
would be. I'll telephone the Krivitch
agent. He gave me the option until
tomorrow. but / told him I'd settle 1t
this evening"
Sheridan gazed after him as he left
the room, and then, though his express
sion did not alter in the slightest, n
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

reglar, l don't mean-why- Well. 1
Just thought I'd see what you'd think
OF it. There amt any way to talk
about 1t to Bibbs himself don't sup
pose he'd let you, anyhow-but 1
thought maybe you could kind o. slip
over there some day, and kind O. hint
and ask her"
"Mew Mrs. Sheridan looked both
helpless and frightened. mo" She
shook her head decidedly. "It wouldn't
do any good"
"You won't try it?"
81 won't risk her turnin' me out O.
the house. Some way, that's what
believe she did to Sibyl, from what
Roscoe said once. No, l Garland,
what's more. it'd only make things
worse. If people find out you're run
min after 'em they think you're cheap.
and then they won't do as much for
you as If you let 'em alone. l don't
believe it's any use, and l couldn't do
1t II 1t was.'
He sighed with resignation. "All
right. mamma. That's ALL" Then, in
Iivelier tone. he said: ole Gurney
took the bandages of my hand this
morning All healed up. Says l don't
need 'em any more"
"why, that's splendid, papa" she
cried, beaming. 81 was afraid Let's
see."
She came toward him, but he rose,
still keeping his hand in his pocket.
"Wait a minute" he said, smiling.
Now 1t may give you just little
teeny bit of a shock, but the fact is
well, you remember that Sunday when
Sibyl came over here and made all that
fuss about nothin'-it was the day
after l got tired O. that statue when
Edith's telegram came"
LET me see your handr' she cried.
Now waltz he said, laughing and
pushing her away with his left hand.
THE truth is. mamma, that l kind O.
slipped out on you that morning. when
you wasn't lookin', and went down to
ole Gurney's otfice-he'd told me to,
you see-and well, 1t doesn't amount
to anything" And he held out, for
her inspection, the mutilated hand.
"You see, these days when it's all die
tatin', anyhow, nobody d mind just
couple o."
He had to jump for her-she went
over backward. For the second time
in her life Mrs. Sheridan had tainted
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

his business, eyes we've upon him; his
credit was In danger-that is, his life
was in danger. And the old priests
were as ardent as the young ones; the
million was as eager to be bigger as
the thousand; seventy was as busy as
seventeen. They strove nightly
against one another, and the old priests
were the most wary, the most plaus-
ible and the most dangerous. Bibbs
learned he must walk charity among
these-he must wear thousand eyes
and beware Of spiders indeed!
And outside the temple itself were
the pretenders the swarming thieves
and sharpers and fleecers, the sly ras-
Gals and the open rascals: but these
were feeble folk, not dangerous once
he knew them, and he had a good guide
to point them out to him. They were
useful sometimes, he learned, and
many of them served as go-betweens
in matters where business must touch
politics He learned also how brew
cries and Traction" companies and
banks and other institutions fought
one another for the political control of
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

They've Got to Come Down now.
sound came from him that startled his
wife. 1t had been a long time since
she had heard anything resembling n
chuckle from him, and this sound-al-
though it was grim and dry-bore that
resemblance.
She frightened eagerly. Looks like
he was startin' right well, don't it,
papa?"
"StartIn'? Lord. He got me on the
hipi Why. he knew what l wanted
that's why he had the inspector up
there, so t he'd have me teat before
we even started to talk about it. And
did you hear him? Can't reasonably
defend sentiment And the way he
say U.s. Took an option for U.s.!
Stuff piled up on U.s."
There was always an alloy for Mrs.
Sheridan. Il don't just ike the way
he looks, though. papa"
"Oh, there's got to be something!
Only one chick left at home. so you
start to frettin' about itv'
No He's changed. There's kind
of selfish look to his face, and"
81 guess that's the common sense
comm out on him, then" said Sheri-
dan. You'll see symptoms like that
In good many business uen, l ex-
pect"