The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-08-04
Dorothy Dar Says
BY DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer
How Men and Women Love.

d
riddle that the other is trying to
guess without ever finding the an
swer.
Men and women are only attrac-
tive to each other as long as they are
different. Women hate and despise
sissy men with effeminate character
istics. Men loathe mannish women
who affect masculine ways and
clothes. The more mike men and
women are to each other the more
they are drawn together.
This is why little Fluffy Ruffles.
with nothing on her mind heavier
than her golden locks, almost always
outmarries her big, strong. sensible
sister, and why refined and wealthy
and gentle little ladies SO often pick
out husky brutes for husbands with
whom they have not thing on earth
in common.
The reason that men and women
love each other and hate each other,
why they marry each other and quar-
rel and get divorced, a why they
never. never understand each other,
is because they are so different con-
stitutionally and because they APP
proach everything from a different
point CT view and see everything
from such different angle.
Take the matter CT love, for in
stance. The two sexes love different
ly. Woman loves concretely. She
loves some specific man. Man loves
woman as a sex. He loves an ideal
which he attempts to t, with imper-
feet success, upon some particular
woman. And especially man loves an
ideal
1t is because man loves an ideal
rather than the woman herself that
we have so many cataStrophes IN
love. Man is in love with an ideal
who is always fair and young, and
beautifully gowned and calm ana
who. meets her husband fifth a glad
sweet smile when he returns home
at night.
Sooner or later he comes across
some girl who serves as a fair under
study for the lady of his vision and
marries her on that platform, but,
alas, life is no conserver of dreams
In the process of years and vicissi-
tudes of matrimony the wife grows
fat and forty. Calm cannot always
be retained in the face of teething
babies and over sweltering cook
stoves. A husband is bound to see his
wife with crimpers on her hair and
crimps in her disposition.
But the man is still in love with
his ideal, who is young and fair and
calm and beautifully gowned, and SO
he either goes out to hunt up one who
comes up to his specifications or else
secretly regards himself as a domes-
tic victim, one of those who was
handed a gold brick in the matri-
That is, unless he is one of the super
idealists-one of the dreamers who
never wake up and who never really
see their wives as they are but al
ways surrounded by the halo of ro-
nance of their days of courtship.
These are the men who always speak
of their wives as little GIRL" long
after they are grizzle headed and have
a thirty-four inch belt measure.
Women often complain that their
husbands never notice how they look
and that they have to call their John
attention to the fact that they have
on a new gown or hat. or even that
they are looking pale and sick and
run down. Foolish creatures! They
little realize the luck they are play
ing in when they have a non-obser-
want husband, for he is not seeing his
Maria as she is. time marked and life
damaged, but as she was when he led
her, a beauteous bride. to the altar.
On the other hand, women are al
most brutally clear sighted in their
view of men. No woman has any illu-
sions in regard to her husband. She
sees all of his faults and defects with
a clearness that would appall him did
he even suspect it.
She doesn't still see the waving
locks on his head that she used to
love to run her fingers thru, after he
gets bald headed. She doesn't see him
| 1.-THE and slim, after he acquires a fig
ure with a bay window effect. She
doesn't hear the light step Of his
youth after his feet have begun to
drag with rheumatism.
| She sees him exactly as he is, stout
and commonplace, and growing old,
but it doesn't make a particle of diff
| ference to her. Such as he is, he is
| hers, and size can love him with just
as fierce passion of devotion as If he
were the most gallant and handsome
and romantic hero that ever graced a
six best seller or drew down a mil
lion dollar salary in the movies.
Women love a man for the man
himself, for the heart, the soul, the
| intelligence in him, and not for some
| fancy picture of what the perfect
man may be that exists in their i'm
aginations. That is why a man may
| be fat, or bald, or crippled or physi-
cally unattractive and vet be a favor
| lite in feminine society and loved by
women, if he is intelligent, agreeable
and sympathetic.
But a woman who was frankly bald
headed or crippled would line a ball
room wall until she became mummi-
ask her to dance, or she would die OF
| old age in a spinster's retreat wait
| ing for some man to ask her to marry
| him, no matter what gifts of soul and
mind she might possess
Such a woman wouldn't come up t6
a mans ideal of dream girl, and he'd
! be too much obsessed by his vision to
ever see the real one.
The different attitude that men and
women take towards love Is response.
BILE for much domestic misery. A mar
J trusts love- A woman never does.
man having once won love feels tina
it is an enduring possession of his jus
as much as his house or his bushes:
or his stocks and bonds. Some acct.
dent may happen, OF course, to deprive
him of these. but the chances are they
will be safely his to enjoy as long a.
he lives.
A woman, on the other hand, re-
CARDS love as the most slippery and
eeI-like of all blessings and as some
thing that she is always expecting t.
lose in spite of all the precaution,