davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
An Irish Comeback.

An Irishman employed in a large
factory had taken a day off without
permission and seemed likely to lose
his job in consequence. When asked
by his foreman the next day why he
had not turned up the day before, he
replied:
Il was so i'll, sir, that 1 could not
come to work to save me life
"How was it, then. Pat, that l saw
you pass the factory on your bicycle
during the morning?" asked the fore
man.
Pat was slightly taken aback, then
regaining his presence of mind, he re-
piled:
"Sure, sir, that must have been when
l was going for the doctor. Pitts
burgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Sublime Orders.

Colonel Cork was, as colonels go,
not q bad old stick to have about
regiment, says London Ideas. Recent
ly he had three men of his company
in to help him remove the grand piano,
and, as this gift of Aunt Eliza's was
Of hefty build, he signed blank order
that the men might obtain beer from
the canteen; leaving the amount there
of for the warriors to fill in them
selves.
Here was dispute.
"Put down six pints," suggested Pri-
vate Dumps.
''More like a barrel!" growled one
Of the others.
But at last the sergeant came along
with the right idea. He filled the pa
per up thusly:
"Please fill these men with beer"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Obviously.

"Come on said the first flea, he hop
ped from the brown bears left fore
leg; "come over and join me at a
short game of golf"
Golf" exclaimed the second flea,
hastily taking a bite Of hyena; where
in the realm of Barnum are we going
to play golf?"
why" said the first flea, cover on
the lynx, of course. Jack o. Ian
tern.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Shameful Libel,

The first man to use q bathtub as q
coal bin was not an untutored immi-
grant, as many persons suppose, but
q conservative old New Englander.
who Ttgarded the new-fangled tub as
a sinful folly and remained loyal to
the Saturday night washtub in the
kitchen. The new bathroom, being
off the living room, was found to be
convenient for storage, and they used
the tub for keeping the coal for the
Franklin StOve.-EXChange
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
SIiuhted,

$50, you're leaving us, Mary. What's
the trouble; don't you like the place
here?"
Il did, but amt going to stay here
no longer. You don't treat me like one
of the family"
"Why, Mary. how can you say that?"
Its plain as day. You were away
for ten days and you didn't even send
me picture postal card"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Ped lranon of Wales.

Henry VII, the first of the Tudor
monarchs, introduced the Red Dragon
of Wales into the Royal Standard, af-
ter the battle of BOSworth.
Queen Mary had it removed, and
Queen Elizabeth replaced it; but 1t
was finally displaced as one of the
quarteringe by James 1 in favor of
the unicorn, and has never since been
accorded a place on the monarch's
personal flag.
King George, however, when the
Welsh Guards were added to the army
a few years ago, approved of the Red
Dragon being emblazoned on the
kings color of that regiment.-Lnndon
Chronicle.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Must Sleep.

1t was nearly noon when the irate
travelling man found the night clerk
of the little hotel in q North Caro-
lima town.
81 told you to call me for the two
o'clock train. Now I have to lose
twenty-four hours time. Why didn't
you call me?'
Il couldn't very WELL" explained the
clerk cheerfully. Il just got up my
self."-EverybOdy's Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Liuhtened Living.

Shadows are not meant to live in.
but to turn away from. In the corner
Of an old-time garden a quaint sun
dial bears the inscription. Face the
sunshine and the shadows will fall be-
hind you" The sunshine Light of
this world is Jesus. That is why we
are to remember Jesus Christ and
"look unto his presence. All our bur-
dens will be light.ned as we live in
his Licht.-Sunday School Times.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
CUTIcURA HEALS ECZEMA
And Rashes That Itch and Burn-TriaI
Free to Anyone Anywhere.

In the treatment of skin and scalp
troubles bathe freely with Cuticura
Soap and hot water, dry and apply
Cuticura Ointment. If there Is nat
ural tendency to rashes, pimples, ETC.,
prevent their recurrence by making
Cuticura your daily toilet preparation.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
His Powers of Persuasion.

Lord Pirie, chairman of Harland &
Wolff the great Belfast shipbuildlng
firm, is credited with remarkable pow
ers of persuasion as a business man.
1t is told of him that when visiting
Liverpool a large shipowner was OBJ
served to have Il more serious face
than usual.
"What is wrong?' one of bis col
leagues asked.
"Well, the fact is he replied,
''Pirie has been over here and has
persuaded me to buy 10.000-ton ship,
and l am wondering what on earth to
do with it!''
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Separatjno the Votes.

Just after a recent election a large
crowd had gathered at a courthouse
In North Carolina to see the official
vote counted To facilitate the work
an adding machine was used.
Among the attendants there were
large numbers of people from the
rural districts who had never seen one
Of these complicated machines. They
,-i",v"d If with open distruSt. Ana
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Added Sector.

That exalted military parsonage
called by his countrymen of France
1.-THE Tiger" has a biting tongue some
times. He was informed not long ago
of the Forthcoming marriage of a gem
cral still in active service but well
past his first youth. His comment
was:
Il suppose that he hasn't enough
front to defend
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

The young bride had clearly formed
ideas on industrial questions.
81 will give you something to eat"
she informed the tramp, ''if you will
get the ak"
"Oh, l shant need that" the tramp
interrupted in reassuring tone. "My
teeth are quite all right
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Don't Wear Smoked Glasses.

Worry Is a pair of smoked glasses,
through which all the world looks SOM
ber. The sunshine is as golden as
ever. and the sky as blue, but through
those smoked glasses everything looks
dreary If some of you would only
pocket your worries. AMI see what the
world really is like. it is pretty certain
hat YOU would make up your mind
Ia do without smoked glasses in the
future
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
The Return.

A young recruit was on sentry near
a home depot one dark night when he
observed a shadOwy fO1m approaching.
He Immediately gave the challenge
Halt! Who goes there" Out Of
the darkness came the hoarSe whisper
Of one of his comrades, "Shut up! I
ain't going: I'm coming back -
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

1855 pounds and am as strong as a man.
I think money is well spent which pur-
chases Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. Mrs. Jos. O'BRYkN, 1755
Newport Ave-, Chicago, III.
The success Of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. 1t may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infiam-
nation, liberation, Irregularities, peri
odic pains, backache, bearing-down feel
ing aatulency, indigestion, dizziness,
and nervous prostration. Lydia p. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound is the stan
dsrd remedy for female ills.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Cure for Anemla.

A Scot and an Englishman who were
walking down the street together
stopped to purchase a couple of rosy
apples. The Englishman on taking a
bite of his Immediately began to sput-
ter. 81 believe I've swallowed a
worm," he exclaimed.
"Weel, weel. mon, an what if We
did?" said the Scot "'Twill put new
life into ye."-Boston Transcript.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Your Service.

When you hear of good in people
tell 1t.
When you hear tale of evil-quell it.
Let the goodness have the light,
Put the evil out of sight,
Make the world we live in bright,
Like to heaven above.
Pennsylvania Herald.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
A Hint.

A Ito man he has "touched')-
Thanks. old chap. But what Is this
little pamphlet YOU handed me?
B-Oh | always hand one of those
out with n loan, 1t tells how to
strengthen the iIemory. - Boston
TrnnScript.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
this DRUGGIST KNOWS
BEST KIDNEY MEDICINE

Sixteen wears ago I began to sell Dr.
Kilmer's Swamp Root and today belieyS
it is one of the best medicines on the
market; and my patrons are very much
pleased with the results obtained from it's
use and speak very favorably regarding it.
Swamp Root has been very successful IN
the treatment of kidney, liver and bladder
troubles according to the reports received
and I have no hesitancy in recommending
it for I have great faith in its merits.
Very truly yours,
OWL DRUG STORE,
By R. F. Boies,
Oct. g 1916. Sedalia, Missouri.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
The Cause of the commotion.

"What's the trouble up there in
front?' asked the cook of a rapid
restaurant, addressing one Of the wait
resses.
Jaw, Heloise said that Claudine
wasn't any better than she ought to
be-" was the reply. "And Claudine
says she is, too, and if anybody thinks
different she'll make 'em prove it.
That's how the customer got hit with
the ketchup bottle. e."-Kansas City
Star
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Fowls on Free Ranue,

When fowls and chicks have free
range on the farm. variety of feed is
not so necessary as when they are con
fined in yards. Those on free range
can find enough material to make a
fairly well-balanCed ration.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

when the votes were finally counted
one of the defeated candidates re-
marked to a friend as he turned away:
II know l was elected to that of
me out of it."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Need of the Infinite.

We try to get inspiration out OF
things which can never inspire. We
need the infinite. We try to satisfy
ourselves by heaping up the finite
Susan E. Blow.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
The True loY Rider.

$50 you got a motorcycle?
For a starter
Couldn't you have more fun with
an automobile?"
"You don't understand. The real way
to have fun with an automobile is to
get motorcycle and get out on the
road as a cop"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Feed for Broody Fowls.

Plain corn is the best feed for all
brOOdy hens or turkeys. And be sure
tn give if the blue ointment treatment
for lice early in the incubation to
snve trouble with little shes later.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
As Mltev Wise Understood 1t.

They were talking about aviation.
"As understand it" said Mr.. Mitey
Wise, "the monoplane is flying ma
chine from which one falls, the BIZ
plane is one from which two fall
and"
81 get you," chirped the quick think
er. 1.-The hy-drop-plane is one from
which they all fall ut."--Indianapolis
News.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Whaf Kind Of Richest

"'Riches take unto themselves
wings and fly away" quoted the
teacher. what kind of riches Is
meant?"
And Johnny Jones said: Il reckon
they must be ostriches."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Rande for Younn TurkeYs.

When the little turkeys are nearly
feathered out they should be on free
range, for they will not do well in con-
finement
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Best Place for Poultry.

We do not know of better place
for the poultry business than the good
old state of sunshine
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

" % AlloOiC W " th
or do any of my own
work. / read about
Lydia E. Pinkham's
We a BILE Com
pound in the news
papers and deter
mined to try it. 1t
brought almost i'm
mediate relief. My
weakness has en-
tirely disappeared
and / never had bet
&or boo1tb 7 uaioh
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

Instead of counting the cost of eX-
periencc consider what it is worth to
you.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

June-"Does he get his mechanical
ingenuity from his fathers side or his
mother's?" Bess-"From his mothers !;
she was a puetess !"-Life.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

NOTHING so EFFECTIVE AS ELIXIR
BABEK For Malaria. Chills Fever.
Chief of Police, J. W. Reynolds, Newport
News,Va., says: at is pleasure to recommend
Habek for chills and fever. Have used it when
necessary for 20 years and have found no remedy
as effective" Elixir Ia bek so cents, all drug
gists. or by Parcel Fost, prepaid from Kloczew-
ski & Co., Washington d. c.
A Good Move-Babek Liver Pills.
80 pills 25 cents
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

wrisht's Indian Vegetable Pills contain
nothing but vegetable Ingredients, which act
gently as tonic and purgative by stfmu-
lation and not by irritation. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Don't Stifie Them.

Leave room In your mind for the
thoughts to come up to breathe
Stephen b. Stanton.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Pleasures of an Enthusiast.

'Does the price of gasoline bother
you?"
"Not much," replied Mr.. Chuggins.
II only run the motor a few miles.
Then 1 get out and spend the rest Of
the day tinkering her up
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

One method of dodging popularity
is to give your neighbors advice.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05

Success is merely a matter of doing
the right thing at the right time.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Woke the Next Man.

did you wake up No. 44?"
"No, sir, couldn't wake him. But
I did the nearest l could"
What was that?"
L walked up No. 45, sir Comic
CtIs
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Eternal Vigilance Needed.

In Matching and raising chicks. IT
means eternal vigilance,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Didn't Need 1t.

DR.. Peery's "Dead Shot" is powerful but
safe. One dose Is enough to expel Worms or
Tapeworm, No castor oil necessary. Adv
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
MOTHER!

Have you ever used MOTHERS JOY
SALVE for Colds, Coughs, Group and
Pneumonia, Asthma, and Head Ca
tarrh? If you haven't get it at once.
1t will cure you.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
WOMAN SICK
TWO YEARS
Could Do No Work.
Now Strong as q
Man.

Chicago, Ill.-''For about two years
I suffered from a female trouble so /
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
Oct. 8. 1916.
Letter to
DR.. Kilrner e Co.
Bindhanton, N. 7.
Prove What sw.mp.Root VIII Do

Prove What Sw.mp-Root VIII Do For You
Send ten cents to DR.. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, n. Y, for sample size
bottle. It will convince anyone. You
viii also receive a booklet of valuable in;
formation. telling about the kidneys and
bladder. When writing, be sure and men
ton this paper. Large and medium size
bottles for sale at all drug stores.-AoV.
Many a man who acts like bear is
merely foxy
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1917-10-05
An Art.

An Art.
Woman-Have you no trade?
Tramp-No, lady; only my art-dis.
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
NOT IN THE GAME

His esteemed whiSkers, the Honorable SignOr Don Eicorano Caanza impreSSeS us as one who has drawn spade to four interesting diamonds and who has hesi tated just fraction long in pushing his chips to the in pepetraor of that strategy by which victory Is sometimes snatched from the jaws of defeat.
 It safe to assume that the greatly ybewhskered Don at least fair to mddng player he would not be hold ing down his present jOb and it is almost equally safe to that the bitter hatred of Americans which long since turned his blood to flame and his heart to steel is tempting him to German mixup as the occasion for one big, desperate chance
 His discretion ought to triumph over such temptation for mediocre player should see that o backs are dumped not only call all bluffs but tap any frivolous player who chances peeye us during ShiS present deal
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
THE LESSER HALF

Mothers will agree with the writer of these lines who evidently undertook lookafter matters in the house for time After experiencing the difficulties of the task he took pen in hand as follows
 If any gentleman has the notion that he is dragging the whole domestic load by doing his ordinary work and the incidental chores about the home like getting in wood and water and making freSand such he haSadsiusOn- ment coming if illness of the weaker vessel should sud denly require that he assume her work.
 Such experience is guaranteed to permanent y any lurking suspicion that he is little bit more than half the works Indeed if there's baby to for he's pretty likely emerge feeling that he is part of the real works at a Experience is great teacher; also an eye-Opener in some cases.
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
NEWSPAPERS AND WAR

One of the persistent islanders of the mixed group of DrO-GermanS professional pacifsts and plain towards who make up the opposition active participation in the which has been thrust upon and to adequate prep aratOns for doing share in it, is that the newspapers which backing the president and the country doing for ueriOr motives for the profits which will come 70 them from the sale of newspapers during the war
 It IS fact, sufficiently exploited to be thoroughly we'll known to everybody whether it so known or not that the industry of this and of every country which suffered the heaviest pecuniary damage by conditions IS the business of making newspapers In every beger- ent country newspapers have been crpped thousands have been ruined.
 In this country the has placed unconscionabe burdens on the daily press and the weekly papers. Hundreds of the latter have succumbed unable to pay the advancing cost of white paper of the heavy items in the cost of making newspapers While this has been the heaviest burden the smaller newspapers the big daeS have had heavier ones The cost of news service has been greatly expanded The tens of thousands of words of daily cable accounts of the from Europe mean enormous expenditures of which has been re- couped from the public.
 During the Spanish war; small as that was, the news
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
TRY DOSE

Opportunity yawns around this neck of the woods like funnel waiting for the water, but there are many who will be able to get by without falling in. The ease with which people can avoid opportunities IS worthy subject for congressional investigation.
 But off the lighter vein to facts.
 The demand for food products greater at present than at any time since the NapOeOnc era, because so many of the producers under normal conditions are en- gagged in
 One of the principal food supplies is fish Fish throng every little stream the Alaskan coast during the sal mon run the streams leading to lakes favored by the arS- tocratS of the tribe while most any old stream has its quota of plebean humpbackS.
 beach seine gill net or two, few barrels, little salt and plenty of pep comprise the necessary elements ot the prescription for mild cure salmon and once in the bar rel these salmon are just that much capital which to LaSe future OperatiOnS
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07

dinner dances and such that she has not had a chance at the oven since.
 The long suffering printer req, he'd the end of his patience this morning.
 End of "watchful waiting"
 Having come across a recipe for lemon pie he gave fine dcmonstra- tion of preparedness"
 This morning the society lady of the office found box on her desk marked "this side up with care" 1t contained in glasses and packages all the raw materials for one whopping big pie.
 There are several "watchfuI wait CTS" about the office now.
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07

Oyster cocktails at the Branch.
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07

We carry Symphony Lawn Station ary the Seward Drug Company.
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07

papers bore heavy burden from this increased expend ture for alone although they had then additional burden of heavy increase in the cost of white paper In the settlement of the estate of the late Joseph Pulitzer it was brought out that during the Spanish of his newspapers which the year before that war had earned
 profit of million dollars just barely cleared expenses
 during the year 1898 because of the additional expenses incurred by it in covering the of the From the standpoint of profit is the last thing any newspaper ever wantS-( (Post-Inteligencer.)
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
Cheer UpFOlkS
MORE PIE IN THE KITCHEN

We have a 'watchful waiter" who is also a disciple of preparedness" in this office. He likes lemon pie. The other day the society editor made conversation after the paper was on the press about the gastronomic beauties of certain creation of crast and filling which she had produceG and devoured. The hand working printer with an appetite left over from his hastily snatchcd corfea ard sandwich at noon fairly writhed while listening to the exquisite description If the effect of a mouthful of this pastry.
 Would the society editor make d pie of similar quality for him:
 She would?
 But
 She was so busy attending dances, bridge parties, coming out parties,
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07
BARGAIN

Complete restaurant outfit for sale or rent cheap. All ready for business. Washington St. and west of Broad way. D. c. Brownell. If
The Seward gateway and the Alaska evening post., 1917-05-07

No. 31 NOTICE OF APPOINTMENT OF ADMINISTRATRIX WITH WILL ANNEXED, and NOTICE TO CREDITORS.
 IN THE PROBATE COURT FOR THE TERRITORY OF ALASKA, THIRD DIVISION, RENAL PREC- CINCT.
 In the matter of the estate of
 ADAM BLOCH, Deceased.
 Notice is hereby given by the un- derSigned that she has been appoint ed administratrix with the will an nexed of the estate of Adam Bloch, deceased.
 All persons having claims against the said deceased are hereby notified to exhibit and present such claims, with the necessary vouchers, within six (6) months from the date of this notice, and the first publication there of, to the undersigned, ANNIE CHRISTENSEN, said administra- trix, at the office of L. L. James, Jr., in the town of Seward, Territory of Alaska, which said office the under signed selects as her place of business in all matters connected with said estate of ADAM BLOCH, deceased. Dated: Seward, Alaska, April 19, 1917. ANNIE CHRISTENSEN, Administrative with the will annexed of the Estate of Adam Bloch, De- ceased.
 L. L. JAMES, Jr., Attorney for said Administratrix. April 21-2S-May 5-12.