The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1917-06-06
L>an1kin!'s Car

tuc COuuIeT, IOr rev minutes reIreSn.
Ing interchange Of ideas and infOrma.
tiOn with the social circle round the
glowing stove in Lem StanifOrd's gro-
cery, Simeon Gaines observed, "LOnny
Lamkin must ha' been doin' pretty well
lately. I'd notion he must be pros
perrin buildin' him new henhouses and
all, but all the same I'll admit it comes
as a surprise, him buyin' him a car.
There amt no reason he shouldn't,
fur's can see, only somehow it never
entered my head he would; Lonny's
bein' so deliberate, to say the least.
and autymobiles so extry totherwise."
SWELL" agreed Uncle 81 Bonny.
"Lonny's doin' well, all right, but hen
houses are one thing an autymobiles
another. When henhouse is built, it's
built. 1t don't keep Dustin pieces off
itself, nor feed on gasoline at a quarter
gallon; but an autymobile-well,
mebbe Lonny can afford it, but should
scurcely think he was justified"
"Ump" snorted Uncle Eli Emmons.
"Ye're putin it too mild, 81. Gasoline
and tires and tinkerin' are bad enough.
but there's worse. Lonny couldn't
drive car to save his immortal soul
he's a Lamkin, and there never was
q Lamkin yet with more mechanical
knack than baby; thereIl be the
shutter to pay, and if ye was profane
by natur' ye might put it there'd be
somebody else to pay it amt polite
to name. I don't see no reason for
mincin' language; I call Lonny Lamkin
an extravagant idjit!"
"Oh, WELL" put in Lem Stamford
paciflcally, "mebbe he amt contem.
platin' a shutter, Eli. Lonny amt so
to say handy, but he might learn"
Uncle Eli snorted. "You mark nv
words, he'll never drive that machine.
He's some kinds of an idjit, but he
amt that kind. Feller that can't drive
a nail 'thout poundin' his thumb, and
managed to blow himself up with his
wife's gas stove, and bewitched his
windmill first day, SOS he had to send
to Boston for man to put it right
agin-- He dursn't!"
"He amt goin' to hire a shutter.
though. I heerd him say sO," remarked
Simeon Gaines. II was down to the
depot when they was unloadin' the
car, jest now. I must say she's good
locker"
"Did Lonny drive her homer" In.
CURED Uncle Ell skeptically.
"Nobody druv her; she's there yet"
said Simeon.
"She'd better be-" rejoined Uncle Ell
darkly, "ef Amanda Lamkin amt pinin'
to be widder. I see ye smilin', but ]
know what I'm talkin' about. There's
family genius and family failfn's that
can't be got away from; and a Lamkin
is a Lamkin. I've known 'em from
gret-grandfather down, and they're
capable enough at farmin', but help.
less infants with machinery. I tell We,
there'll be shuffer, or smash-up out
to the Lamkin place, or that car'n be
sold within a fortnit."
There was loud, approaching purr
and "A cheerful honk. Every head
turned toward the door, and a glisten.
ing new motorcar swept proudly by
with q woman at the steering wheel.
amanda Lamkin!" cried Simeon.
with big laugh. "Fooled We there,
Uncle Eli. bet there won't be any
shutter If Amanda's on the job!"
"Didn't fool me, neither" declared
Uncle Eli lOftily. "Wasn't Jest tellin'
ye bout family inheritances? :?
Amanda's mother was TOtten, and
Gran'ther Totten run q tugboat forty
year. It's jest what might be ex.
nectedU