The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-08-10
FABLES REC|TED
BY GEORGE ADE
AT INDIANA FORT
Humorist Tells Funny Stor-
les to Student Officers in
Camp.

INDIANAPOLIS, Aug 10. - George
AIDE, told the student officers at Fort
Benjamin Harrison some funny stor-
les Wednesday afternoon.
General Glenn introduced him in a
few words, in which he spoke of the
Indiana humorist's noted modesty and
shyness, and told his hearers that
AIDES tremendous popularity was due
to the humanity sympathetic quality
of his humor. AIDE said:
Young Men Of the Training Camp:
About twenty years ago this country
was supposed to be at war with Spain.
Compared with the present gigantic
struggle, the slight misunderstanding
of 1898 was merely ten-twenty and
thirty war 1t was about as much
like the new style Of heavy fighting
as croquet is like athletics. 1t was
TO all intents and purposes. moon
light picnic. We were fighting lot
of guitar players who didn't want to
fight. When man is going into bat
tie, nothing encourages him more
than the knowledge that the other
fellow is looking for chance to
climb tree.
Irish the Fighters
The Spanish were easy for US be-
cause they were SO unlike the Irish.
Not long ago an Irishman was brought
back to London hospital, badly
wounded He asked the nurse If he
would get we'll and she told him that
he would be up and around in about
six weeks. He seemed relieved. He
said that as soon as he was strong
enough he wanted to go back to the
front. She was surprised She asked,
why, after you have been so terribly
wounded, do you insist upon going
back to the 'front.'" We'll" replied
the Turk, II think know who did It,"
"As ! was saying, about twenty
years ago we were engaged in playing
tag. hide-and-seek and drop the hand
kerchief with any Spaniards that we
could catch up with. 1t wasn't much
of war but 1t was the first We had
enjoyed for over thirty years and we
didn't know when we would have an
other so we made the most of it,
Shortly after the festivities began. a
couple OF boys living in a town called
Centerville enlisted. They didn't have
much to do at the time SO they decid.
Co " liCC Supd NC
gave each one Of thehnsa new suit and
a hat. These two boys were named
Yves and Schuyler They tied red hand
kerchiefs around their necks so as to
look more desperate. All the way
from Centerville to Florida they kept
their heads out Of the car window and
yelled at any one standing near the
track.
Az Soldiers Good kickers
They went into camp for while
and found fault with the beef that
came in tins II was beef that should
have been used during the Civil war
Finally they got on boat and
were landed in Cuba. They wanted to
shoot at something, but they couldn't
find anything to shoot at so they sat
around in the shade, singing coon
songs and roasting the War Depart
mcnt
AT last they were ordered home.
AS the train approached Centerville,
they we're considerably agitated be-
cause they had sent lot of colored
post cards to couple Of girls employ.
ed in the Bee Hive department store
and they thought maybe these girls
would be down at the station to meet
them.
when No. 7 stopped at the depot
Yves and Schuyler jumped off and the
first thing they saw was about 5000