The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-09-06
Fatty Lewis Teaches Mrs. Lewis
the Mysteries of Poker

remarked. "There's a few things
she's got to learn. Perhaps some day
we'll be able to induce her to ante
without giving her an anesthetic and
taking her chips away while she's UNI
conscious l never hope to keep her
from betting into 1-card draw nor
making her believe that filling a
straight open in the middle is about as
easy as the fourth dimension"
"Does she draw to 3-card hushes y
Hurrah Smith inquired, "and stay
with "a pair of deuces?"
"She's as sure to do that as the as
SCISSOR is to leave blank at your
house and where you work." Fatty
Lewis replied. "But," he continued, Il
got nobody to blame but myself"
Alexander, the spear-troting kid,
who looked for more worlds to con-
ouer, didn't have a thing on Mrs.
Lewis" he added. "She got so she
could keep a bridge score without
printed slip. Had won four first prizes
at her club and could shuttle the CARDS
herself when it was her turn to deal.
She felt that her showing entitled her
to a trial in faster league. So l
decided to teach her rummey. AS
rummey player must say she's
good housekeeper. She played such
rotten rummey that every time our
friends got behind in their grocery
bills the'd ask US over for dinner. Mrs.
Lewis's fondness for trying to make
jack, queen and kings was so well
known that we didn't eat an evening
meal at home for three months.
"Td always believed Santa Claus
was an old man with white whiskers
until l began settling Mrs. Lewis's
rummey deficits" Lewis continued
'But he amt. Santa Claus is a
brunette and weighs 125 pounds. You
don't have to hang up your stocking
or wait for December rs for visit.
Invite Mrs. Lewis over to play rum
mey. Every time she had less than
$50" in her hand when somebody went
out | felt like was making money.
| wasn't more than minute ahead of
the bankruptcy court, and part of that
was gone when she decided that she
didn't care for rummey. Shed like
to learn to play poker.
Taught Her the Fundamentals
"Land never looked better to Chris
topher Columbus than that statement
sounded to me-" Lewis declared. eve
turned down all social engagements. l
invested in some chips and stayed
home for week dealing "fun' hands.
/ finally drilled it into her noodle that
two pair beat one pair; that three of
kind knocked over two pair, and that
it took jacks or better to open the pot.
When it came to explaining straights
Pushes and straight flushes it was
about as easy as getting No. 6 shoe
on a No. 9 foot. Explaining to her
that the joker could be used in aces,
straights and Pushes was no more diff
ficult than borrowing $500 from a
strange bank without collateral
Every time she got straight she'd
count out loud like beginner learn
ng to waltz. But you've got to give
ler credit. ShAs persistent. She
struggled with her poker lessons like
guy Tearing TO swim. Finally she i,
lecided she was ready for her debut. ,
Bring on your poker players or
cad me to 'em," she declared one :
light after having made her first set
f fours.'
"' belive I'll bring 'em,' 1 replied; :
f the worst does happen, We'll be
ONE without walking there =
GAS further evidence of my safety
rst' program l decided to call up my
ster and her hubbard. If the Lewis :
loney had to go into circulation was =
Ding to keep it in the family. :
Considering it was her first out,
[rs. Lewis didn't do so badly" Lewis
,ntinued. "The rolling stone that n
lied to collect any moss didn't have
thing on her. She managed to call
few pots in the course of the first al
,ur's session. These kept her from f.
,ing a total losss. She let out one
luawk when sister raked in default n,
1t on Fights and SKIES bt
F." Thought you told me that it took vi
cks or better to open, she said to me in
the same tone that she used when
e huckster brings her apples that ay
lied to come up to the samples he qu
owed when he made the sale.
" Two pair are better than jacks, e
Mt they?' replied, and then she be- TO
n looking like the huckster when
had to take the apples back out Il
the wagon. She never said word. Its