The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1917-04-04
SEASONAbEE SER
MON By .LOVEJ !.
seasonable Sermon Written by Vic
tor Lovejoy in Jefferson Bee
Is Very Interesting.
BAlLEY ssRlTr, GIVES THOUGHT

Z .~sNN-c R~sssssS
one Of the Most Timely Articles Eve,
i, AZ. K. written ~ the late Styles
a MR. ,. and Fashions.
Z }s,aAEA5ni .aAl l----tit6 .yok
sit is ,au wonder that one half the
girls of 9tOdhy ARE not dead with the
the arms bntIh veil. lisa man. or boy
went practically, bare armed. they
would be sick with colds nearly all
Is .hairpin and a, garter, hut the
climate where she lives don't produce
snow banks ten feet deep. 1t must be
that the present, generation of. girls
and women are naturally tougher than
asbeggar boys heart or they could not
GO, with azure hosiery and. diaphan-
ous. drapery when the mercury touches
zero OF course this is fashion and
fashions behest must be acceded to If
the heavens fall. Bailey in the Britt
Tribune.
Now Bailey, yours mean old, thing
to talk that way. How dare you! What
do you know about the habilaments OF
femaldoln,> about azure hosiery and
diaphanOus drapery?" Where did you
ever see one? Where did you run
across that Zulu maiden, and. when
We're, you in Paris. n o.
Vi. 4.** ,.+.,5....,
Dad Bailey's little rarnble has set
us8all going! Once in awhile he tears
of q little logic that fairly dynamites
the foundation of society. Force Of
6bsarvation aud reasoning eompels us
To agree with bailey in toto-what-
ever that MEANS. But Bailey over
looked one Of woman,s. fashions that
Tor eccertricity, has the Epeelaaboo
clothing relocated to. the ragbags of
Bagdad.
We were about to remark about
shoes. o, those shoes Did you ever
zee one of 'em walking up street, a
Ia kangaroo, .tippy tippy toe, knees
bent forward like o darkey on cake
walk. gpnerel contour (side View like
q cr0oked man who walked q crooked
nlfle chin angled like submarine
periscOpe. general movements like
those OF Aunt Nancy's bronze turkey
~ frailty, thy name in woman!
$3.50 r,
Say, imam, some day when you have
Lime, get 2x2 piece Of pine, lumber
saw OF three inches OF it, nail It in
! longitudinal manner to the heel
81 your shoe and start out! But wait!
Dom start out until You locate the:
police! Wait till the Eight watch |
hunts his lair, keep a private detec-
tive on his trall--then start. But
watt Don't start yet.
q First 60 to Key West and take the
trip: back and forth across to Havana
about umpsteen times! Charlie tells
US the boatss across that famous part
q he gull stream are hs.ilt ygsth icy
ible decks SO the ship can turn four
ways for Sunday. The effect is the
same as tartar emetic or swallowing
your finger. For the first few trips |
your anatomy all disappears except |
your bread basket-and 1t is empty.
II 1t isn't empty it soon will be!
a ..., $4* .:'.,..
After a three months course of |
treatment Of this kind, then don your
high heeled shoes. Don't follow this |
sidewalk, but take to paving. Keep
out OF the mud! You will then learn
soon how to sympathize with friend |
wife who tried to keep up the Partisan
STUNT The effort is best undertaken
to start with, by using a balancing
pole similar to what acrObats use
when. they walk q tight rope across
Niagara Falls. II you don't understand
the pole, process you had better use |
clutches Have the ambulance near,
also the Red Cross! t,,,,..., - q.
You have heard the ladies say, 20,
but my high heeled shoes are the most
comfortable things ! have!" But the |
Chinese; ladies' say the same thing, SO
there you are! When the Almighty
made our little tootsies He evidently
forgot all about these very NECES-
SAhY extensions. We admit He
seemed TO- have done a pretty good
job otherwise, but He certainly mis- |
sed.something when He omitted about
seven layers OF metatarsal Pigment on |
the neither part of our heels. So we
make 1t up with leather. "a |
+*+ s...r.
When we were In our baby purity |
and mother used to kiss our little feet |
she never used to treat us so. Little |
knit bottles, nice and comfortable |
decked our dorsal fins, and when we
learned to walk our toes and heels |
were to be found in the same latitude. |
As; little girls we were able to navigate |
along. one general plane, and we ran |
and played like normal human beings. |
The boys kept the same general styles /
but by the time sister dear had reach
ed the sixth grade, and commenced to |
notice things in dress, something
commenced to happen. Posterior lay
er after another commenced to APP
pear, and, BY. the time sister was
eighteen and going to dances she had
learned to tippy, toe, tippy toe, tippy /
toe. neutrality-suspicious. Gosh!
And yon ask woman why, and she
saysFBecause! And there is as far I
as. YOU ever get! She says it's the
style! With 'em on. she seems te be
happy, but o.! Go and get an xsfsy OF
her foot. The picture will shows. yhor-
izontal striker OUT then d transverse /
ralhble at about 50 degrees E6atN byl