The Bowbells tribune. [volume] (Bowbells, Ward Co., N.D.) 1899-1969, 1917-09-07
Unique Exemption Claims
Before the Stale Board

Bismarck, N. D., Sept. 6.-Ulys-
ses S. Grant isn't ging to assist his
tory in repeating itself if his better
half can help it-and Judging from
the tone of her letter to the district
q, board she has some confidence in
her ability.
Said U. S. Grant lives up state, is
of military age, and was accepted
by his local board. Apparently he
didn't urge his claims for exemp-
tion very strongly, or the board did
not consider them favorably. for
Ulysses is up to the district board
as a candidate for select service.
And here Mrs. Grant steps in. She
doesn't want Ulysses to 60 to war.
She feels the family has done
enough for it's country, and that the
proper place for U. s. Grant Is be-
meath his own vine and fig tree.
Therefore there's a chance that
new lustre may not be shed on this
glorious name. The district board
still has something to say On the
subject, however, and it hasn't yet
come to Mrs. Grants claim for ex-
emption. filed on behalf OF her
Ulysses.
How He Tlembles
'The board he think my boy
tremble because he fraid. That net
so-he trembles all the while" "
writes doting German mother
whose boy was passed as physically
perfect by a local exemption board
in spite Of the fact that he trembled.
This fond mamma declares her boy
the best all-around low and lofty
trembler in the county. He trem
bles just as easily as other men
breath. and 1t isn't lack Of nerve
at all but an overplusage OF nerves
she assures the board. She doesn't
want her little trembler to go into
the battle line where his trembling
might be- misinterpreted, by some
cousin or uncle or other relation
on the German side of the trenches.
and in very good Teutonic script
she advises the district board.
Pitiful Case
- A pitiful case which sheds new
slight, on the great American homo
comes from another claimant, who
declares himself the sole support OF
one father and one mother. 9th
er members Of the family, he naiv-
ely advises. are his little. brothers,
three of them, aged 20, 19 and II.
Maybe he'll get his. and maybe not.
He's a Farmer
Then there's proud mamma who
declares her boys real, for-sure-
enough farmer. He worked two
months on a farm last year and he
expected to work two months this
year, but he didn't like the 1917
stream-line effect of hay-rakes or
something of the sort, and he hasn't
got round to it yet, but she's con-
fldent II the board will just leave
him alone he'll come home dragging
.,,his hoe behind him. And anyway
1 he has promised certain sure to dc
a bit of farming next year.
They Need This Fellow
The village smithy. beneath a
spreading chestnut tree, a sample
of whose fruit he .eadeavors~ to palm
off on the board as q new and ori-
ginal excuse for not serving, de-
clares he's the only blacksmith fol
miles around. That If he's called
to war there'll be no one left tc
mend knitting neddles and tatting
spindles, and many poor soldier
will freeze his tootsies for the lack
of good. Made-in-America German
sOX.
Et Tu, Cassius.:
Then there's the guy from Cass
somehow or other there's always
more or less gaseous Cassius fig.
uring in these affairs who handed
his claims for exemption and his af-
fldavits and his family tree and
marriage license and birth certifi-
cate and vaccination receipts tc
Judge Birdzell this morning and
calmly inquired: ,--
81. ''Now where do, 60 to get my
Nmileage money!" ~ .5sa4: q !:
:: Somebody had told that pool
fellow that Uncle Sam would pay
him ten cents the mile for his jour.
F., ney5 to and from Bismarck, just
like a regular legislator. and he
:. had that money all spent in ad'
ance.
'Tis tough though true. Uncle
Sam doesn't make any. mileage al.
lowance. Them as travels does sc
on their own peril.
a