The Washington herald., 1917-12-13


Once there was man who took
about an hour and a half-to masticate
his MONDAY fodder.
His boss stood it for a couple of
weeks and then showed him the door.
He didn't want men, he said, whose
teeth were SO weak.
The man became peeved. He had a
right. he thought. to take a short
vacation each working day.
In couple of days he thought of
!l.i66 ways to assassinate the boss.
-iie must be Tevenged, even if he went
10 Jail.
lie came around to the boss house,
hast Monday. There was a dollar or
Two coming to him, the man told him.
The boss disputed the bill.
The man picked up a rock and
hraved it through the glass panel in
the front door. The boss was a quick
dOdgcr and wasn't huIt
cop heard the glass break and ran
al ound and grabbed the rock thrower.
Then there was a scuffle and the cop
was hurt
And 80 the court advised John
Hand. the boy who pitched the rock
and hit the cop. that a months vaca-
tinn at the workhOuse was just what
he needed.
TOrpedOed at Last.
About four years ago George True
man used TO board with Ruth Hem
sons mother. Since that time Ruth's
mother has departed this life.
But before she died she told Ruth
;hat il she ever saw George she was
to collect $lo which he owed her for
his board when ne quit.
During these four years George has
crossed the Atlantic a few times in
absolute defiance of Won Tirpitz's or
der to submarines.
] He got a good scare last month and
unit outright. Tie managed to get to
Washington. He called on his old
cronics and they Sladhanded him.
someone told Ruth at church Sun
day night that George was back.
Right away she remembered the in
hcrited debt. She meant to collect it.
When she called on George at his
stopping place she received a very
cool reception. As far as he knew,
George said, he never owed anyone
any dough.
Woman-lke. Ruth argued with him.
GeorEc soaked her in the jaw and
sent her all the way down stairs.
The court sent him all the way to
Occoquan for thirty days.
Annette Has "Some HaId."
'Jedge. dat woman is sore at me
cause All beats her husband shootin'
craps. All neber in nah life said All
would shoot her haid off"
What makes her come here and
say sO?" the court asked JEFF Green,
accused of threatening to shoot An
nette Hobbs.
she must a dreamed it. Jedge."
answered Jeff. "Ennehow. Jedge,
Nh doesn't think All could carry
round nun powder en- shot ter blow
dat wOman's haid off,
is as soft as de next one. Tain't hard
1T all. TwouIdn't tex very much to
blow it off neider."
Il see" said the court. What did
You do. Annette. to this man anu
cause him TO make a threat?"
Nothing tall, Jedge Yonner, onless
he is sore cause All takes nah hus-
bands pay enbelOpe away fen him
"bery Sadday night so he CANT lose
it shootin' craps"
We'll. George" said the court 81
think you are guilty. But since you
have a good record and it is so near
christmas. I'll take your bond to keep
the peace"
Herb was Kin to Don Juan. /
Some girls are just crazy over a !
soldiers uniform.
Tuesday niSht. Private Herbert Chi |
chester, of the First Separate Batal-
lion. d. c. y. e.. attended a party |
With several other unbIeached Ameri-
cans.
Things went alright until the girls
deserted their beaus and fIocked over
10 the stalwart Herbert. They played |
With the brass buttons on his coat !
and asked him how many Germans ,
ne expected to kill.
Poor Herbs head began to swim.
The rest of the boys there stood
around with murder in their hearts.