davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

him as ugly as another" After it grew
late and his friends departed strange
rose out of the shadow and said he wa;
sure his firm would be glad to make al
offer for that virtue. Then the stranger
cut the wires Of telephone instrument
and spliced them to the lightning rod
outside the window and called Hell
please" After a brief conversation he
announced that they offered for the vir-
tue three Jokes which would make any
one who heard them die laughing. Re
wrote out the jokes on three slips Of
paper, and the man took them home
with him and woke up in the morning
with hazy memory and headache
A few weeks later he gave dinnersi
his club, and discovered the three Jokes
in his pocket and read the first one
aloud. 1t wasn't much of a Joke, but
every one roared with laughter, even the
walters, and as the laughter continued
he noticed it was forced, and supposed
they were all making game of him, and
finally he skunk home, disconsolate and
angry. In the morning all the papers
had huge headlines: twenty-five Men
Dead in a Club"
That is only the beginning Of the
story, but the mans adventures with
the other two Internal Jokes are equal!
interesting.
II do not know where may be when
this is read" says Lord Dunsany in q
preface to his latest book, written
in Burlington Barracks, Londonderry,
where he was recovering from slight
wound. But it does not greatly matter
where am, my dreams are here before
you; and writing on a day when life Is
cheap, dreams seem to me all the desrer'
the only things that survive.
Just now the civilization of EuroP
seems almost to have ceased, ana noun
ing seems to grow in her torn fields ou.
death, yet this is only for while, anu
dreams will come back again and bloom
as of old, all the more radiantly for Ihis
terrible ploughing, as the flowers VIII
bloom again where the trenches are anu
the primroses shelter in shell holes III
many seasons, when weeping Liberty Ids
come home to Flanders"
By this time Lord Dunsany must "
back in the trenches. 1t is said he eS
poets to be killed, for he is over SIX les'
in stature. and the tall man carries ="
extra hazard in this war. His age Is %.
1t is needless to say this dreamer :"
wonderful dreams is an Irishman.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

So I set about following up several
suggestions made by well-wishers, with
the end in view Of selling my services
as dearly as possible.
The first man | went to was, | had
been told. former newspaper man, now
engaged in making money. | sent in
my letter of introduction and sat in the
ante-room, trying to figure out how |
would look coming in through that door
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

1T so happens, luckily for the pur-
poses of this story, that part of my
daily stint has been to interview
applicants who feel themselves espe-
cially fitted for Sunday newspaper work,
and who just dropped in to Sc If there
was place on the paper for them.
For the first two or three weeks was
visibly embarrassed during the inter-
views, and rather than turn the petl-
TONERS away without encouragement
would say that while there was nothing
on this paper for them "at present,
perhaps my uncle, who runs drygoods
store in PENNSYLVANIA, might be able to
do something for them. My uncle dis
couraged this form of evasion on my
part, however, and | was forced to re-
sort to the nebulous promise that there
might be something in the next few
weeks taking the name and address
for rush notification.
But in time I grew fairly coarse and
hardened, and could make short shrift
of the most persistent of them, telling
them in no uncertain terms that there
not only was nothing here, but that, in
nv belief, there was nothing anywhere.
Thereupon | would light big cigar and
stalk out of the room, handing the cigar
to the office boy as passed the desk, for
|, personally, do not smoke.
And, as I ceased being self-conscious,
| was able to make mental notes of the
characteristic methods used by people
applying for jobs and to group them as
Intellectual, More Intellectual and Ter
ribly Intellectual | said to myself that
if, through some inconceivable, unthink-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10
Bv ROBERT G.. BENCHLE4

ably absurd cataclysm of nature, |
should ever be brought to the necessity
of going about offerings my services
there would be certain methods which |
would. under no conditions, adopt, hav-
ing found them so offensive in others
Among the types of job-hunter which |
resolved never to emulate were the fol-
lowing:
The person who, in dealing with
newspaper man, says: Il am an old
newspaper man myself; so I know the
game"
The applicant who breezes in and
gives you the chance to hire him, putting
it on basis of your doing the right
thing by the paper in accepting his
offer.
The one who leads up to his request
with fnesse, keeping the fact that ne
wants Job secret until he has shown
you scrap-book full Of specimens of
his work just as matter of general IN
terest. This one usually opens up with;
81 have been doing special stories on the
Denver Gazette Chronicle for the past
two years, and thought you might like
to look some of them over"
also decided that / would never sit
on the edge of my chair and hold my hat
in front of me as if trying to hide the
fact that have no Phi Beta Kappa key
on my watch charm.
There are, Of course, other ways of
personally applying for work which Gre
ate an unfavorable impression, but these
I had taken particular aversion to,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10
Illustration by W. E. HILL

every day as a regular employe, ana
wondering what the telephone opera
tors name was. Presently was ad-
mitted.
Nv prospective employer asked me to
be seated. and waved my introduction IN
the air as if he were about to produce
bunny from it and wanted me to see that
he had nothing concealed in the folds.
It was evidently my lead.
So. remembering that he and had
something in common in having for
merly been associated with newspaper
| opened up with:
81 am an old newspaper man myself
No sooner had | said it than | realized
that it was one of the things that had
sworn never to utter under these cir
cumstances. l could see that it made
little or no impression, and decided to
follow it up with something more worth
while
SO | said:
81 have been doing special stories for
The Sunday there I mentioned the
name OF a we'll known New York paper).
If you want to get line on my work |
cam
I stopped and flushed as | realized
what l was saying had mental
picture Of the last man that had APP
preached me with that line of talk. He
had worn a jewelled flag in his button
hole and sat on the edge of his chair
And, speaking of sitting on the edge
of ones chair, I suddenly focused my
attention on the fact that I myself was
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

One does not like to seem to criticise
the Creator, even by implication, but If
Haywood Broun had
SUCH STUFF AS been twins, and the
DREAMS ARE other one were
MADE ON literary critic, we all
would have been
reading Lord Dunsany's tales for sew
eral years past, and that would have
added greatly to the Joy of life. His
prose CFifty-one Tales" published by
Little. Brown e. Co., and six volumes of
stories published by John w. Luce &
Coz is, in the opinion of many persons,
including his publishers, finer and more
enduring than his dramas. His first
story book. "The Gods of Pegana," APP
peared in 1905.
Lord Dunsany is the only modern to
invent for literary purposes new
mythology. His monstrous gods are a
species of divine right super-lmperlal-
lists. who exploit and torture and derlde
mankind for purposes of amusement.
"The gods, thousands and thousands OF
years ago, being in mirthful mood, crled
out. Let Us call up man before Us
that We may laugh in Pegana.
His gods seem more credible now than
they did before 1914.
They do not figure in all his stories,
but in most of them we have sense of
huge figures laughing in the back
ground. Hence Dunsany has been
called a pessimist, but he is more satir-
list than pessimist, and above anything
else a gorgeous dreamer. Nothing like
his wonder tales has appeared in our
time. They are the sort of thing pub
lshed in gold in the particular heaven
reserved for dreamers, and one can
fancy Shakespeare and Ceramics and
Voltaire hanging about the presses
waiting for more. 1t is perhaps unnec-
essary TO note that none of the tales has
ever appeared in an American magazine.
There is the story Of Charon, grown
old, with pain in his arms. "All things
were one with his WEAKNESS" For a
time the dead came in thousands to his
grim ferry, where they formerly came
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

noticed great crowds of pikemen hurry
ing to the walls and bundles of arrows
being distributed to the archers, and
when he FASTENED home in the evening
the battle was in its last stages and the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10
! AS ONE BUSINESS MAN 10 ANU FER

seated chiefly in space, deriving or,,
nominal support from contact with II.
row of little brass nails that trimmed u.
seat which had been proffered me- F.,
thermore, was clutching my hat to N,
lower chest and rotating it slowly.
This would never do! The man wo,,,
take me for a weakling. The obvio,.
course was for me to give him to under.
stand that l was valuable man.
SO | sat back in my chair, hung M,
hat jauntily on my knee, and said sio
nifcantly:
81 would advise your finding Sons.
thing for me here
The tone in which l delivered thisc,
ried subtle implication that had sor.
secret information which | would Il,
close at the proper time, and that ifhs
should be so blind as not to offer ma
satisfactory berth | could not be respor
sible for the future of his business 7,
sounded as if were on the point Of
throwing back my coat, disclosing GOV.
eminent badge and saying: Come along
with me, my good man, or else sign me
up for a choice annuity" It was dis.
agreeable sentence, disagreeably spoken
and no word of it had | thought out be.
forehand. 1t was an inspiration, and q
bad one.
The manager smiled. As | look back
on it now | give him great credit for
that. Then he spoke my old familiar
formula:
well, there isn't anything here just
at present, but | will take your NAM
and address, and if anything shouk
turn up | will let you know"
am now making application by let
ter and telegram.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-06-10

time watching the varied and pict-
uresque life of the Golden Dragon City,
and he got to love it with an intense
patriotism.
One morning when he went to work he
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

Corps by a mass in the hall of the ad-
ministration building. at am. when
Rev. Lewis J. O'Hern. C. S. P, of the
College of st. Paul the Apostle will
otficiate and preach. A special musical
proeram will be rendered during the
service and an invitation is extended
to the musicians Of the city who will
volunteer their services in assisting
the choir.
In the Shrine of the Sacred Heart
the feast Of Pentecost will be cele-
brated tomorrow with solemn high
mass at IL o'clock. when Rev. F.
Hurney will be celebrant: Rev. John
Eckenrode deacon and Rev. P. G.
Gayap subdeacon. Rev. Eckenrode will
preach the sermon.
On the first Friday of June the
blessed sacrament will be exposed ali
day after the $40 o'clock mass. and the
devotions to the sacred heart will take
place at 7:45 pm, when the sermon
will be delivered by Rev. P. c. Gavan,
after which benediction will be given.
The novena to the sacred heart will
open on the 9Th of June and close
the 18th.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
THE MISSION OF MONEY.

port the work of the gospel is as direct
and as real as the obligation upon the
few to preach the gospel themselves
We flatter ourselves that our giving Is
libcraiity, and that 1t rather makes the
Lord our debtor. The truth is we
ought to give: it is our plain duty to
do SO. and failure to give would mean
a violation of our loyalty to Christ.
sc s. e IS
Opportunities are reckoning hands
The world has never before seen SO
many open doors for the gospel.
r. q sk y
We may go by sending. Our gifts
may represent us on the foreign fields.
u p 4 -
The mission of the church Is mis-
sionary. Her business Is to extend the
kingdom of God. For that purpose she
was instituted. and when she ceases
to care for the salvation of the world
glory Of the Lord. The church that is
not Jealous to preach the gospel has
been perverted from the principal OBJ
ject Of her existence.
4 Il y
All the church is needed to save all
the world.
Il 4 q q
He has a real part in the fisherman's
success who merely supplies the bait
and tackle.
A tenth is a small return to make to.
Him who has given us all Having
agreed that Christians ought to give
systematically-andt this point scarcely
admits of discussion-we must consider
how great proportion of our income
should be devoted to Gods work. Can
any fair minded person decide on less
pitifully small beside the largeness of
Gods gifts to us.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
By William T. Ellis.

missions" is a word often in the
headlines of the newspapers nowadays
but 1t aIIudes to the Populations sent
by the allied nations to the United
States and from America to Russia. In
connection Herewith a single budget
of seven billions of dollars was voted
for the world war. The expenditures
now being made to preserve civiliza-
ton make all that has been given TO
Christian missions seem small. We are
learning anew that great goals are
worthy of great gifts.
- u 4 IS
There are various ways OF coming
into contact with the foreign mission
field. Some of US may touch it with
our hands. gathering the ripe grain for
the Kings garner; others OF us may
touch it only through the contribution
box-the point of contact is our gifts;
still others reach the regions beyond
by way of the mercy seat; they are
the Christians whose prayers constant
~ ascend for the cause of missions. The
first of these means is privilege
granted only to few; the other two
rest as a duty upon every follower OF
the Savior of the world.
y - = q
The command to give is as impera-
tive and divine as the command to go.
The obligation upon most of us to sup
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

Two honors were conferred this week
on William Waller in recognition OF
his useful work in the diocese of Wash
ington.
Tuesday evening, at the annual meet
ing of the Churchman'S League. he was
advanced from the position of vice
president to that of president, and at
the business session of the twenty-sec
ond annual convention Of the diocese of
Washington Thursday, he was elected
a member of the standing committee of
the diocese.
Mr.. Waller is a member of the vestry
of ST. Margaret's Church and an active
worker in that parish. taking an espe-
cial interest in the Brotherhood of st.
Andrew and in the Junior Brotherhood.
His activities in the diocese include the
treasurership of the Eye, Ear and
Throat Hospital, membership in the ex-
ecutive committee Of the central mis-
sionary committee and the general
committee for the church pension fund.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
PLAN TO SWAT EN- OUT"
Younger Members of House to Play
Ball Game at League Park.

Now for some real base ball. the old.
fashioned kind, where they swat" the
ball clean over the fence and make home
runs while the crowd yells The younger
members Of the House of Represents.
tives are making up opposing teams con-
sfsting of republicans and democrats.
and will pull of a game at the American
League Park upon a date to be an
nounced.
Representative Pat" Harrison Of
Mississippi will head the democratic
team. and Representative Clarence B.
Miller Of Minnesota the republican team.
The proceeds of the gate takings will
be donated to the Red Cross.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
Baltimore. at the commencement exer-
cises ON Juna A.

Baltimore. at the commencement exer-
cises on June 4.
In ST. Stephens Catholic Church the
children Of the parish will make their
first holy communion tomorrow at the
z o'clock mass, which will be cele-
brated by Rev. Joseph E. Cassidy: The
classes for the last two years will also
renew their COMMUNION at this mass.
A special program of music will be
rendered during the service.
The May procession will take place
at 4 pm, and forming in the basement
of the church, will march along Penn
sylvania avenue to oath street: down
oath to X street: along X to 25th
street. and thence back to the church.
where the services will take place.
The statue of the Blessed Virgin will
be crowned: the act of conservation will
be read and benediction Of the blessed
sacrament will be given.
The May queen will be Miss Helen
Leary; maids of honor. Carmel Meehan
and Louise Walsh: act bearer. Helen
Burns: crown bearer. Frances Rydeen;
angels. Margaret Fitzpatrick. Helen
Joyce, Eleanor Mccarthy. Marie Nc
Cauley, Anna Walsh. Moreen Crowley,
Margaret Mccarthy and Francis Gra-
ham. The queen of the angels will be
Mildred Schultz.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

A union Lutheran celebration OF the
quadricentennial Of the Reformation will
be held tomorrow evening at o'clock. In
Memorial Lutheran Church, 18th and N
streets northwest. Of which Rev. Henry
Anstadt is the pastor.
The speaker for the service is to be
DR.. A. II. wentz Of the chair Of church
history in the Lutheran Theological Sem
mary. Gettysburg. Pa the subject Of
the address will be 1.-THE Message of the
Lutheran Church TO America"
The pastor of the church will conduct
The service, and those having a part in
the program are Rev. Charles H. Butler.
reading the Scripture lesson: DIR. ]. T.
Huddle, Offering the opening prayer;
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

sons have been added to the congrega-
ton, 1t is pointed out, and more than
$4,000 raised for all purposes, half or
which has been given to missions,
The average attendance at the Sunday
school during the past year was 740,
while the present membership is 1854.
.Amer,ca ON The worlds Greatest
Battlefield" is to be the topic of a spe-
cial patriotic sermon which Rev How
ard I. Stewart is to deliver in Second
Baptist Church tomorrow evening. A
number of adults are to be baptized at
this service.
A special service for the Baraca class
of Metropolitan Baptist Sunday school
is to be held at Metropolitan Church to-
morrow at II o'clock. with Pastor John
Compton Ball presiding, and assisted
by cfficers of the class. Stuart F. Reed
of West Virginia will deliver the adj
dress of the occasion. The class has
membership of more than 200.
y y 4 q
A national food law. giving the
President of the United States the pow
er to forbid the use of any cereal for
the manufacture of whisky and beer
and such other legislation as shall
make it unlawful to use said grain IN
said manufacture was favored In reso-
lutions recently adopted by the congre-
tian Church and Bible school.
q d Il n
The new pipe organ of Calvary NJ E.
Church will be played for the first pub
lie service tomorrow at IL o'clock. The
dedicatory sermon will be preached to-
morrow evening by Bishop William F.
Mcdowell
Rev. E. G. Fitzgerald. prior of the
Dominican House of Studies at the
Catholic University, is to deliver the
patriotic grafton at the solemn military
mass to be celebrated in Stanley Hall,
o'clock. The celebrant Of the mass will
be Rev. d. ]. Kennedy, o. p The bat
TALON of cadets of st. Johns College
will give an open-air drill Immediately
after the close of the indoor exercises.
q + a 4
Rev. DIR. Luther Hess Waring is to
occupy the pulpit of st. Johns Lutheran
Church tomorrow at II o'clock, when
the worship will be in English.
4 d 4 =
"A Message from the Unseen" will be
the subject of an address by Henry p.
Holden in the chapel of All Souls
evening at o'clock at joint meeting
Of the Liberal Religious Union and the
Young Peoples Christian Union Of the
Universalist Church.
= = 4 =
At Hamline Methodist Episcopal
Church. eth and P streets northw est
tomorrow evening at o'clock. the
services will be commemorative of Me-
mortal day.
The brotherhood will have charge and
Representative Simeon D. Tess of Ohio
will be the speaker. The music for the
occasion will be in keeping with the
rest of the service and of a patriotic
nature.
The Woman's Home and Foreign Mis-
Gionary Society of Keller Memorial In
theran Church held its regular meeting
recently. when Hiroshi Saito. third Sec
rotary Of the Japanese embassy. gave
an interesting address on Japan.
= = + 4
fThe mems Bible class of Keller Me-
1norial Lutheran Sunday school recent
r. Ie-electeds the flowing -of1csra zoy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
/ 1.-THE RELIGIOUS WORLD#
LUTHERAN CELEBRATION OF QUADRICEN-
TENNIAL OF REFRIGERATION TO BE HELD
TOMORROW EVENING.

Rev. Richard Schmidt. offering the closing
prayer, and Rev. w. A. Wade, conducting
the closing service.
The service is one of a number which
will be held between this time and Octo-
Der 81. next. the 400th anniversary OF the
Reformation. The committee having in
charge these services Is composed of the
following persons: L. Russell Alden, chair
man; Revs. Henry Anstadt. I. o. Baker.
H D. Boyer. C. H. Butler. ]. T. Huddle.
S. T. Nicholas. Richard Schmidt. c.. F.
Steck. w. A. Wade. l.. II. Warning, John
weidley, N. G. Mickey and D. E. Wise
man, and Messrs. c, F. Logan. H. c.
Drummer, H. A. Rau. Hugh Mcdonald.
L. NJ Leisenring. L. P. Hickman, F. w.
Leonhardt and H. c. Caemmerer.
The public is invited to attend the
services.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

Rev. John E. Briggs is to observe the
eighth anniversary of his passionate at
Fifth. Baptist Church there tomorrow
at special services. At IL o'clock he
will preach on Our Banners and Our
Work." while at 7:45 o'clock in the
evening his topic will be Spiritual
Heart Disease"
During the past eight years LOO per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26
Capt. Legge Answers Divorce Plea.

Capt. Clement w. Legge Of the Quar-
termaster's Reserve Corps today filed
answer to the suit for a limited divorce
recently brought against him by his
wife. Louis Legge. He denies the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

) The feast of Pentecost will be cele-
brated tomorrow at the camp at Fort
Myer for the. Roman Catholic candi-
dates for commissions in the Reserve
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

to advance the case for trial because OF
the probability that he may be sent to
France with the first United States
forces. Justice Stafford granted the re-
quest for an early trial and set the
matter for hearing June 4.
Attorney George Curtis Shinn ap-
peared for the officer. while Attorney
Henry /. Quinn represented the wife.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-05-26

Comment on the Christian
Endeavor Topic for Tonnor-
row, Financing the King
DOM" Luke, Io.II-26.