Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1917-08-22
ALL CLOCKS FAULT
UNCLE III NOT TO BE BLAMED
FOR THE TROUBLE.
Ills Hcusewarmina System Was All
Right, but Hard Luck Took n
Hand I'm the Game and Re-
suits Were Disastrous.

suits Were Disastrous
$50 your Uncle Hiram Peabody was
here while your husband was travel
ing, and his wife was nursing her
grandchildren, said Mrs. Green, set
Ting herself for a chat 81 expect he
enjoyed his visit2"
Most of the time" answered Mrs.
Biddle. He was as pleased as boy
to get here, and for a while he talked
as if he'd ike TO live in town, where
there were so many clever inventions
to look at. He's quite an inventor him
self, you know, and has all sorts OF
automatic arrangements in his house
and barn. Even here he rugged track
down cellar TO run the coal and ashes
back and forth, and fixed the clothes
lines a new way the first week, and
was kind OF vexed because didn't care
for a .trapdoor in the kitchen and q
dumb-waiter TO the cellar.
''Then he went into a brown study
over something, and took TO staying
down cellar most Of the time. One day
] missed an old alarm CLOCK from
Henry's den. the meat grinder, q spring
from the laundry door, the can opener
and the hinges from the salt box Just
then Uncle Hiram ran up the cellar
stairs, all muSSed and sOOty, but SInil-
ing, and insisted that must go right
down and see his invention for opens
ing the furnace drafts in the morning.
1t was clever, too, with wires and pull
1eys overhead, and a piece of broom
he
that when the alarm went of il
dropped a weight-my meat grinder,
mind you and somehow opened the
drafts, so that the house would be
warm when we got up. Uncle was
tickled to death with it, and OF course
i admitted it; but I warned him not
TO set his alarm too early, for our fur
mace has q tremendous draft
at worked first rate for few days,
but the old clock got TO acting up !;
sometimes 1t wouldn't go OF. and then
again little jar would start the alarm
while uncle was setting il. so he had
to come upstairs on tiptOe. The night
before Henry came there was cold
snap and a high wind, and we went to
bed early, for he was to arrive about
six in the morning About two woke
up with q start. It was so hot could
hardly breathe, and there was a strong
scorched smell Then heard a racket
like pots and pans falling downstairs.
s Burglars, or fire, or bothT says to
myself, all bew1ldered; and made for
the upstairs telephone and called up
the emergency number before / was
awake enough TO know whether want
ed the police or the fire department.
Tt seems they understood I wanted
both. Uncle Hiram's room was empty,
and I began to think that maybe I'd
been hasty about telephoning. I got
Henry's old revolver and went down
cautiously. The kitchen gas was burn
ing, and the cellar door was open, and
the cooking things that hang in the Gel
1arway We're strewn all the way down
the stairs. Someone was down cellar.
banging around and saying things. and
thought uncle might be struggling
with a burglar. So I called, 'Surren-
der or I'll shootr But Uncle Hiram
called back:
Don't shoot, Maria, it's only me-!
Get me pail OF water. QuickP
you see, his alarm had gone OF too
soon; and as uncle had the warmest
room in the house, he had walked up
and rushed down to see about it. Be
fore I could get the water, two police
men and the fire engines came and a
good big crowd, too. The house wasn't
on fire, but so near il there was no fun
In it; and the fremen said things that
hurt uncle's feelings, and so did Henry
when he came.
Poor Uncle Hiram wasn't the same
after that. He hardly noticed the ma
chinery blueprints Henry brought
home, which showed he was low in his
mind, and he didn't even read the scien-
tiie journals. He lost his appetite and
began to criticize the food. About blue
bird time, when he heard that Aunt
Julia was ready TO come home, her
grandchildren being through with the
measles, he insisted on going back TO
get things ready for her. was wor-
ried for fear he was going to be sick
but Aunt Julia writes that he's invent
ing a new pillow and a scareGow with
a monograph arrangement; so guess
he's all right again."-Youth's Com
panion.