Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1917-11-09

.urkey Flew Afterwards Striking Me So Earnestly on Hair He Left Me
Quite BrainIess.
To Editor, Who Keep Cheerful in Spite of Holidays:
Dear Sir: While annual yearly date of Thanksgive approach up l enjoy
pain in connection with my memory. I tell you what collapsed to me last
Thanksgive Thursday:
I was employed for Gen. Cookery at domestic kitchen of Mr.. & Mrs
Romeo Goober, East ORora, I'll.
Togo" say Hon. Mrs approaching up to me, tomorrow shall be Thanks
give Day. We expects to celebrate a $ usual she report for sweety smiling
"There will be 8 to dinner, to include my fatsh Uncle Seth who equal 3
more. All my relatives is most sncerful particular about foods So now will
complete tenderness, 4 qrts. cranberries of delicious sourness' 6 punches
ceeryweed, and sufficient punkens to construct 2h plesT'
Ign. At Gouge Bros. Market where was I observe sign, FAT TURKEY
a5c" To see this feel very humorous about that High Cost Of Life:
there. at such rates, how much would 2 turEies COST"
$3.50" he report for immediate arithmetic
"Do you not promise fat turkey for 35c?' l rake off.
:" should like O n, peasel" This from me.
10 o. 1--WE no., DO n@t sell , broken sections You must purchase complete 0"o price
AT such rates. folks can get rich by starving" I snagger.
No response from him. He go to iceboz and fetch forth one enlarged
This ar nice fresh turkey" he satisfy.
"IIave he not been constantly on ice for 2 yrs? Nothing could be more
freshcr than that" depose Hon. Butch. I buy
He sell me expensive cehrybouquet, price 7c per cluster. 1t seem dis
respectful to eat such valuation. Also precious cr"nberres' price 81 o. sell
dom quantities, added to $3.50 worth punkens for pie 1 promenade home
While was thuIy struggling along with burdened back, n assorted
dog name of Hon, FMo snux up behind of turkey and made Shining sniff
"shoow I report. Hon. Fido stood waggishly saying nothing but looking
Date of Thanksml Thursday arrive up BY early 4. m. Of dawntime
About time of afternoon p m, I could hear several thankssvsrs senplns
and l vas glad to assist his Importance.
Pretty soonly all take setdown to table.
1--WE got much to be thanksgiving for" report Hon. Goober with sharp
knife. "Dlnner is late as usual"
ut wer o thuAy when I wa a boy" report Uncle Seth with grone.
please pass the celery"
He made smacktaste of this foods, then flop it back with snubbed e-
preston.
q have tasted 10 respectable celery since 1s41w he houa barably.
All enjoy depression by this report.
go to kitchen for bring in delicious murigantawny soup what bought
While were pouring this hot beveridge in plates, notice slight smell of
burn. 1t was Hon. Turkey in oven, becoming too feversh. SO l took him out
and put him by window where he be more comfortable
fetch soup in plates to all those thanksgvers.
Canned" they yelup together with voice Of sad chorus girls while
thrustng away plates.
Nothing is real any more!' narrate Uncle Seth with dyspepsia. "Even
turiies is deceptive. When boyhood days elapsed, can remember how we
was WAS accustomed eGsols on IhaG @ 1 morning to salute Hon; Turkey by ehopp ping
fresh he acted. But no more, Today, turles lives like Eskmos- spending
would eat Them
enjoy considerable alarm for this thanksgiving speech. Then. courageous
like a Samurai, l retreat to kitchen for fetch forth Hon. Turkey. Hope
thrilled my wrists and elbows rs I entered kitchen for escort that sublime
mrkey-but ON! l stand CAST. I look to window where I left that sacred
entirely vacuum. Hon, Turkey had hewed away!
expression of tail, there stood Hon. Fido abductng Hon. Turkey across alley
by wing. .4"
Come backwardsr' yerup. Hon. Ffo show 10 impression from my
talk, l lp through window ~ feet to outside. Quickly reassuring my legs
l retreat after that sNy doggish annmle, but he sromble up fence with
hooked claws resembling cats, Too late for me! Turkey had escaped from
s my rear attack.
together my soul and encroach toward dining room, where 1 could hear those
s thanksgrvers complaining about everything. I walk in there carrying empty
"Banzair I hOna, pohng forth vacant dish. "YOu digestion shall avO'
what is~ all excam while leaptng to their feetware.
!. cud from considerable preserved poison by on patriotic dog what sacrifice
"Yu mean we shall have no turkeyY" snagger all.
"How can we fill his vacant patter?' sobb Hon, Mrs, Il should be thank
= full for Hon. Turkey however tough
Just while she say this-crashy! y! Loud sound of approaching dog hear
from kitchen window, and Hon. Ffo with waggish tail trtt into dining room
carrying that enormalous bird In his careful teeth. He lay that absent fowe
reverently at my fleets. -
"Hon. Fdo do not care for this enlarged chicken, 81 he bring him back,
l report.
Dinner IRE now Spontr' decry Hon. Mrs.
"How could you speak it'll research. when turkey go, YOU say, Dime
rumedr When he com back. you. Dinner spcltH I am impossible
understand about American customs.
you have Thanksgive dinner so you can set around making bewahs. 5
foolish to do! Why you n choose this date Il kick out Msfortune?'
81 shall do sou abrupt Hon. Goober, arising upwards. FIRST Misfortun
to kick will be in your direction" -
Next he rejected me through window by force of Swedish tuDtsu. Ho
FIo arrive by next kick. and Hon. Turkey few afterward, striking me G
hair so earnestly he left NE quite br0inless.
Hoping you the same, Yours truly,
] HASTuNURA TOGO.