The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1917-10-26
toopyrlght,
DANGER OF GROWING APART
MENTALLY.


long walk together they seem instinc-
lively to adjus. their steps so that
they walk side by side, within touch
ing distance of each other. If one
gradually quickens his pace until he is
yards ahead of the other and in his
self-absorption, increasingly widens
the distance between them, they cease
to be two walking together and be-
come two walking alone. Marriage is
a lifelong walk together of two who
have selected each other from all the
world. 1t is community Of thought,
ideals, aims, needs and sentiments that
tends to keep them in step. 1t docs
not mean a sacrifice of individuality,
nor does 1t demand unanimity of opin-
ion, but there should ever be progress
sive harmony on essentials and pro-
gressive sympathy on nonessentials.
Some men feel a pleasant glow of
satisfaction in fulfilled duty when they
divide generously with their wives
their material prosperity. If money
We're the only thing in life, or even
the greatest thing, their view would
be correct, but the really greatest
things in the world are those that
money cannot buy. When a man finds
himself growing broader mentally and
does not share his new self with his
wife, he is taking an intellectual ele
vator and letting her trudge alone up
the stairway as best she can. When
he grows into larger and finer social
10 het. rsf
of it he is travelling in the parlor-car
and keeping her in the day coach.
! When the larger Interpretation of life
and it's problems strengthens his spir-
| itual and ethical vision, while his wife
continues in the narrow horizon of I'M
Illuminated household cares, he is
monopolizing the telescope, which
brings things near and larger, leaving
her the microscope which only in
creases the Importance of her trifles.
Growing apart mentally must, under
these conditions, become inevitable. 1t
may be that he alone is to blame; it
may be her fault, or it may be the blind
| thoughtlessness of both. His repeated
attempts to talk over with her his
/
plans, purposes and progress, to stimu,
late her interest, to share with her his
intellectual uplift may be met with nj
real comprehension, no sympathy, nj
inspiring response. When comradeshiI
in marriage dies, it really makes very
little difference what the postmorten
verdict as to the decease may be.
| -,
world of business which tends to blend
with the social world, he may broaden
mentally as he prospers materially
He travels over the country, and in q
wider acquaintance with men and con-
dltions has many of the rough edges
Of proYincialism worn smooth. de
meets men of attainment and action
men of power and prestige, and under
more stimulating environment devel
OPS latent strength of his own. lie
brushes up against keen minds that
put a new edge on his thinking; he Is
in closer touch with current thought
and opinion; he has acquired polish
The keynote of his living, so far as
society is concerned, is higher. His
|
his demands more exacting. If he has
not been sharing these things with the
wife of his youth, he finds she has
been standing still while he has beer
progressing.
She who faithfully struggled with
him and for him, helped him to gel
the foothold of his present success
end became absorbed in working, plan
ming and saving, may now be mere
drudge. He has a new standard OF
life now, and she falls sadly short OF
it. He measures things more super
ficially. and though her heart may be
unchanged, her head is not up to date
He may be ashamed to introduce hel
into the new society of which he has
become a part; she is plain, unattrac
five, overretiring or overloquacious
She is aggressive in her dress and dis
play: she is not familiar with the rules
of the social game-with the tech
nique" of his new set.
The cid equality between them has
been destroyed-killed through ne
elect. 1t is not the work of a moment
but the slow, widening process OF years
of growing apart. But the realization
| of it ali may come in moment. There
may be suddenly an illuminating flasf
of consciousness, when he inyolun
tarily faces it, in comparing her witt
other women.
Some little mannerism of hers thai
once was sweet. just because ii was
hers, jars on his sensibilities ane
strikes a discOrdant note. Once ht
did not care whether she thought i
was Homer or Carlyle who wrots
"Silas Mariner" or whether she hat
heard of either author or book, Per
haps at that time he did not know this
book himself. The red tape of so
ciety's cards, passwords and methods
may have become second nature K
him, and he is unjust in his eondemna
ton of an ignorance which would mo-
have existed had he been sharing witt
baY hfc oxnandinQ life He may no