The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-04-21

years younger than she is and VINO
does not make enough money to sup
port a wife.
The woman realizes that she is not
only older in years, but stronger in
character and more efficient than the
man. yet she .ovcS him, and she is
wondering what the chances of hap
piness would be Tor them both if she
marries him, in a case where the or
binary order of things between hus-
band and wife is reversed.
wonder, too.
The age part makes no difference.
Two years, nor five, do not count one
way or another between a man and /
woman. Besides, there is nothing
more absurd than to count age by
years. There are women who are
young at seventy, and others who are
old maids in their cradles, and wo-
man is as young as her heart is. In
other days women aged faster than
men, but now women, and especially
business women, whose lives are full
of varied interests, keep young longer
than men, who are apt to burn the
candle at both ends.
This woman need not hesitate to
marry her sutton because he is few
years younger then she. Neither need
she doubt the permanency of her love
for him because it is half maternal,
for that peculiar brand of affection,
which has in it both the love of a
woman for a man and of woman
for her child, is the most indestructible
passion on earth. 1t Will stand Tire
and water, and unfaithfulnesS and
drink and shiftlesSneSS and neglect,
and still live on.
The real problem in this case-and
it's one of the new stumbling blocks
that the entrance of women into the
working world has strewn in the path
of matrimony-is the attitude of the
man, and the way that he feels about
the situation.
And truth compels me to state that
while women have gotten a new view
point upon the relation of husband
and wife, men look at it from the
same old lord-and-master angle. That
is to say, woman can be perfectly
happy in a marriage in which she does
the work and supports the family, bul
man is miserable in marriage IN
which he is not the high cockalorum
and rules the rooSt
1t is absolutely Indispensable to the
masculine peace of mind for a man
to feel that he is far, far superior to
his wife, that she looks up to him
as to the little god who sits up aloft
and dispenses favors when properly
placated. Also, he must be the oracle
of the family circle, upon whose ut
terances the woman he has done the
honor to marry must hang with bated
breath.
possible to take this attitude towards
a woman who is a better business man
than he is who has clearer judgment
and more initiative, and who pulls
down a fatter salary envelope, and for
this reason the relationship between
the clever business woman and her
husband is almost invariably
strained. When the gray mare is the
better horse her yoke mate lets her
pull the load, but he is never grateful
to her for doing it.
The Unborn passion of woman is to
serve and help the man she loves. 1t
seems to the woman who is In bust
NESS and who feels that she has pc
culiar aptitude for it. that nothing
else in the world would be so sweet
as to work side by side with her hus-
band, partners in business as we'll as
in matrimony. She may see that she
has more financial talent than he,
that she has greater energy, that she
has a keener commercial vision than
he has.
This doesn't make her love him less,
nor does it give her any contempt for
him or a sense of her own superiority.
Her only thought is to brace up his
weakness with her strength, to sup
plement his intelligence with her own,
and to be the woman behind the door
of his success. She has the generosity
to give all, but he has not the gener-
osity to receive what she offers. He
resentS her every suggestion as an eff
feet to boss him. He sees a covert
criticism in every idea she advances,
and the more she is in the right about
financial matters. the more he hates
her for it.
Also, the woman who tries to help
her husband by continuing to earn
money after she is married, does so
at her peril, for in the large majority
of cases the man who finds out that
his wife can support the family, and
him, sits calmly down and lets her do
it. Nor is this the worst fea ture of the
case. for, stung by the inward con-
seriousness that they are not doing a
mans part in the world, these depend
ent husbands seek to assert their man
hood by petty tyranny in their own
households, and you will find that the
most disagreeable husbands in the
world are the ones whose wives do the
most for them.
A strong woman may love a weak
man to the death, but no weak man
loves a strong woman after he is mar
ried to her. There is that in her which
shameS his own lack, and, as a general
thing, it is not long before he forsakes
her for the society of some fluffy
headed little goose, who is sillier and
weaker than he is, and before whom
he can pose as a great big, broad
chested hero.
In France, where madame is in
business with monsieur as we'll as
married to him, where the two help
and supplement each other and are
prosperous and comfortable and
happy, they seem to have worked this
problem out to a satisfactory conclu-
sion. We haven't done it yet in Amer
lea, where, curiously enough, the idea
of the Seraglio still prevails and a
man is happiest when he feels himself
most a Providence from whom all
blessings flow to his helpless little doll
baby of wife
archaic idea. but at present he resents
his wife being his equal, and can't
forgive her for being his superior, and
so, for their mutual good, should ad-
wise my correspondent not to marry
her weakling of a sweetheart. She
will get neither thanks nor ha'pence
On the contrary let her ma r-r,r s.crr,o