The Washington times., 1917-02-14
Newcomer Makes Wild 0bserya-
tions As He Reviews Parade
In Hotel Lobby.
CLERK AWAKENs SUSPICIOUS
Reveals True eaIlings of Ubiqui-
tous Personages Who Haunt
Washington HosteIries.

The title OF this story is 'Indoor
Sports, or Looking EN- over In a
Hotel Lobby"
The Stranger and the Hotel Clerk,
who knew everybody. were discussing
the leak probe and the war when
there drifted across the lobby a we'll
dressed, perhaps overdressed, youth.
Forgetting politics, the Stranger put
him down in the class of million
afre, bored to death, and told his
Impressions to the Hotel Clerk.
That young man." said the lat
ter, "is not what you think he is.
Far from II. He works in one OF
the Government departments for $50
a month"
While the Stranger was recovering,
an important, mysterious looking
foreigner marched up to the desk, and
the Hotel Clerk excusing himself.
spoke in low tones to him for several
moments. The Stranger strained his
ears endeavoring to hear the conver-
sation, but to no avail.
Inquired As to War.
When the foreigner left, the
Stranger eagerly inquired what he
had to say about the war. The II. c.
nonchantly replied, "the same thing"
But" insisted the Stranger, surely.
those diplometists know what is to
happen" The II. c. tried not to look
bored as he explained that the dip
lomat was the butcher who supplied
the hotel with meat every day.
Sitting at a writing desk, was a
man that the Stranger Immediately
classified as a hnancier. Since there
was nothing else to do. the Hotel
Clerk told the Stranger that he was a
chalker on a stock board at a salary
of not more than SO a week NO"
said the H C. seeing the question in
the Strangers eyes. "these persons
do not live here. They merely come
In. absorb the heat. use the writing
paper and whatever else Is free and
leave"
Made Another Wrong Guess,
Somewhat crestfallen the Stranger
determined to guess one right, SO he
picked out q worried looking young
man sitting in a corner furtively
watching the passers-by. lobbyist"
whispered the Stranger into the large
ear of the Hotel Clerk. This caused
that Individual to smile. Wrong
again." he said. trying not to look
triumphant. That is q cub reporter
who comes in here every day hoping
that something will happen that he
can make a story out OF"
Just then a man, with large over
coat and cap such as travellers wear,
hurried UP to the desk. and spoke 10
the II. C. in low tones. After he had
left, the Stranger inquired where he
was going. "Going7" asked the Man
Who Knows Everybody. who? Oh
You mean the chap just here Why
he isn't going any place-because
he couldn't borrow a quarter from
me for car fare. He is a regular
here. Hasn't left this hotel for three
months except to eat and sleep"
AT last I have the proper DOPE"
almost shouted the Stranger as a
dainty little miss. dressed in the
height of fashion seemed to float
across the lobby.
Picked fer Debutante.
You can't fool me. She IL . debu- |
tante, a member OF the best society. |
I can tell by the odor Of that ex. |
uuisIte perfume she had" Such ig |
norance appealed to the clerk. MY |
boy" he stated, although the Strang- |
er was nearly twice his own age,
that is a manicurist in the barber |
shop down stairs"
For some minutes the Stranger was |
speechless. Then his persistent ma
ture caused him to feebly ask: why |
do you let that old loafer sit in this
lobby pointing to q detected looking |
specimen apparently without single
acquaintance, much less q friend. |
"Why?" shrieked the Hotel Clerk. |
why? Because that il the best pa !
tron We have. He owns more oil
mines than you would have safety |
matches, IL you bought all you
could"
When the Stranger recovered he |
walked sadly out OF the hotel, muir |
muring about the deceptibility OF the
Washington public.