The Washington herald., 1917-10-14
GOOD MORNING
JUDGE
More aCousin" stna.
ny RUDOLPH PERKINS.

ledge. EN- All supposed to supoht
nah husban'?" asked Carrie Emer-
son.
mo, of course not replied the
court, neither are you supposed to
hit any other woman he goes with.
either"
II Carrie and Joe Emerson did not
have. a fight every day as regular
as clockwork. the neighbors would,
think something dreadful was the mat
ter.
! Folks say It Is because Joe runs
around with other women. Joe says
1t Is his wife who Is to blame. She
fuses. he says, because she has moth
ing else to do.
Friday night Carrie met Joe on Sixth
street with her third cousin. He had
no explanation. It was Just like a
burglar caught with the goods. Cousin
got all that was coming to her and
some more. Joe stood there and let
her get whipped
He knew when WHEY got started it
was some start. Cousins head was
all out Of shape and she had an awful
tale of woe.
Carrie says she supported Joe, took
whole lot Of meanness from him and
now she even faced the iron bars
for him. She sure did. as no one paid
so fine for her.
No Retreat.
Amanda Robinson has q son in the
army. She never ceases to tell folks
about him and about his trip to the
border.
Next door to Amanda lives Ger
trude Farrier. Gertrude also has a
son. He loafs. shoots crap. drinks
bad whiskey and spends three-fourths
of his time on Mr.. Whittaker's farm.
Last Monday evening some friends
called to see Amanda and right on
the bat Amanda started a new yarn
about Thomas.
During the talk she cast some re-
Elections on the young man next
door. Gertrude was listening. az al
ways.
The visitors agreed that there was
quite a difference between the two
men.
When they had gone Gertrude
marched in and demanded that
Amanda disavow those words and
make instant reparation.
Nothing doing. she was told. Anan-
da always stood by what she said.
She was a soldier too. she told Ger
trude.
The offended woman cussed a blue
streak. She dare not hit Amanda,
because the latter was some 100
pounds heavier.
And now Gertrude will Join her son
at the workhouse unless some of her
friends come across with a IS bill.
THAT Elusive Dollar.
Thursday night Harry Griffith ap-
preached Henry Wood and asked him
| for the dollar which he had been
owing ever since Inauguration day.
or course he didn't have 1t. But
| IL he only waited a minute he would
get 1t for him. Five minutes later
Harry had his dollar and was as
happy as a barrel of monkeys.
Friday night Harry and Lucille
Brady were at the movies. They gos-
siped a little about everything and
everybody and finally Lucille said
to Harry. Honey, doan fohget, ef
20 sees Hen Wood. tell him All needs
dat dollah he borrowed often me las
night"
Harry almost tainted. He had Just
a short while before given Lucille
l Tie uOlldT- ShS DekBGu IOE
| it a long time. That is the reason
Harry was in hurry to collect a
dollar from Henry. It left him broke.
He was silent on the way home, de-
batting all the while whether to muir
der Lucille or Henry. Soon he made
! up the mind. 1t was a fine pickle
for full grown man to be in.
Henry was bruised up from head
IN font He O At Stnhfart for q
dozen hospitals. Harry is in for 80
days.
Try the willard. Howard.
II a man pays 20 cents a week for
room rent, doesn't that give him the
privilege of sleeping with his shoes
on?
Howard Kramer works in a livery
stable. He rooms at the house of
Turner Jackson. For the last few
| nights he has been sleeping with
his shoes on because it was too cold
in the room to take them of.
The first night he did that. Turner
called him down about II, as he
mussed up all the blankets and COM
forts.
Howard paid no attention at all.
His feet were his own and he paid
his room rent regular. The third
time he did it, Turner ordered him
out of the house.
He wouldn't go. Turner hadn't
asked him in very polite way. He
was very rough about it.
So the other night Turner and a
little brick were waiting for How
ard. He got the brick square in the
jaw. 1t didn't hurt very much, but
he'd done nothing, he thought, to
have it thrown at him.
Turner had no reason except that
he wanted Howard out Of the house