Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1917-01-18
lT FREDERICK COUNTY, MD, THURSDAY, JANUARY 49, 1917
BROUCHER'S SARCASM
BY HAROLD BRONSON.

ant way Of expressing himself when
things dn't go to suit him and some
foolish person once told him that he
was delightfully."-. wickedly sarcastic.
That explained him. 1t Is rather an
awful thing when man gets an idea
that he has gift for sarcasm. He
Is particularly apt to cultivate 1t.
Broucher became unpopular. He
was not really such bad sort of fel.
low. not even ill-tempered, but he de-
veloped sort of carping habit Of
speech for the more frequent display
Of his gift and his associates nntu.
rally got down on him.
1t was In his loneliness that he he
gan his wooing of Miss BurdeXter. The
meek and amiable little woman whose
nimble, white fingers ratified over the
keys Of the typewriter In the office.
Miss Bardexter rather admired
Broucher's style of talk. Perhaps it
was she who originally complimented
him on 1t. Anyway. BrOucher got
into the habit Of lingering about her
desk and saying wickedly sarcastic
things about the other men In the
office. The upshot of the thing was
that he married her.
But with the waning Of the honey.
moon II was different. If anything
went little crossways he usually
called attention to 1t, and of course
a young housekeeper is not an old
one. and things will go little cross
ways at first.
Then 1t was: dearest. ! have Oh
served with some pain that YOU are
not sufficiently considerate Of the feel
ings of the young lady who has so
kindly consented to assist you in the
care of the household. You must re-
member that girls in domestic service
have their feelings"
"Why. Courtney. dear! am sure l
have always tried"
"Yes. yes, | know. don't think you
meant to hurt her but there Is that
young man Of hers and her girl friend
and her Y, ung man In the kitchen
now. | know they are there because
hear them very plainly, indeed They
have been there three nights hand
running now. and you have never
once invited them to use the par'"r
and the piano so that they have been
obliged to put up with the kitchen and
mouth organ. Don't you think 1t
would be nice for you to 20 out ana
invite them In. I'm afraid If ! do 1t |
shall be tactless."
Mrs. Broucher would look Al him
timidly and hesitatingly, and he would
sustain her look with an unplehsantly
bland smile. Then she would 60 out
to the kitchen. and shortly after the
sounds of revelry would cease.
But Broucher was not dissatisfied
when a letter came announcing a VISIT
from his mother-in.law whom he had
never seen; he said he would be more
than delighted. "YOu see. we bore
each other so that any distraction Is
welcome" he said with n smile. and
patted his wife on her plump cheek.
But Mrs Bardexter arrived, nag ana
baggage, for a months visit, and then
well, there was no trouble; she was
a mighty sweet and eaSy-telnperrd
woman. But she seemed to take
Broucher so seriously. When he came
down a little late and observed that
he apprehended the consideration his
wife had shown in not waking him.
as he liked to be late at the office. oc'
casionally-it looked independent
then did Mrs. BardeXter eXrlaim:
"Well! ! should think you would he
afraid they might not like It,"
"You don't mean to say we have
eggs. dear!" Broucher said little
later. "This Is indeed surprise. Nice
little change, isn't it?'
"Emmie said you had been having
them so often lately that you were
kind of sick of them" said Mrs. Bar
dexter In surprised tone.
"What did you put that roast In the
oven for, my Own?" asked Bronrher.
"You have warmed 1t almost through,
| believe, and 1t would have been so
much nicer quite raw. to say nothing
Of the gas you must have used.
Haven't yor little really raw meatf'
Mrs. Bard.Ater got up from the ta'
Bile, went out and came back with a
nice little piece of raw beefsteak.
"Oh, mamma" said Mrs. Broucher.
Courtney doesn't really like raw
meat. He was just making fun. He
likes it quite well done and I'm afraid
1t is just little bit undone."
"Courtney, do you always mean
what you don't say?" inquired his
mother-in-law.
How could Broucher keep 1t up? He
couldn't. All this happened in'the first
week and Mrs BardeXter's stay was
prolonged to five more. People with
ont any sense of humor are awfully
irving, but there Is really no use In
fighting against them.
Courtney" said Mrs BardeXter.
when she was leaving for her home
in Grand Rapids "when | first came
noticed that you talked very strange
ly. but you don't do II any more and
I'm glad of 1t for Emmie's sake ana
yours. | kind Of think you were jok-
ing, but jokes like that hurt some peo-
ple's feelings. You can't make real
Joke out of a grumble and mean
thing isn't any more pleasant because
YOU say 1t with smile. That's all
I've got to say. Now, don't tell me
that you're going to raise the lake
level two inches with your tears for
nv departure, because shant believe
you"
RI would tell you that said
Broucher, "but honestly, ri miss you,