davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Perfectly Safe Money.

A recently hurried young woman OF
Cleveland has an unusually thrifty and
economical disposition. and she was
shocked to learn that counterfeit five
dollar bills were floating about the
city. This worried her not n little. as
her experience in financial matters WAS
limited. Eut she found out how to be
safe. She discovered that certain bills
bore the words. Legal tender FOR five
dollars" and she accepts all such bills
without question For, as she says. no
body would dare put that Oh II bill If it
we're not so-Cleveiaud Plain Dealer.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Obvious Proof.

An elderly man once consulted an
eminent doctor about stomach com
pla ints, but there was formidable OBJ
staclc In the conversation, as the pa
ticnt was very deaf What do you
have for dinner?" roared the doctor
into his right ear. "Oh, mol" was the
reply. ''Plenty of that-two miles regu-
larly after breakfast and two more be-
fore dinner" "How long do you lie
abed Of morning?" "Well, doctor, l
shall be sixty-nine this day three
weeks" Without further parley the
doctor gave him simple prescription.
the manuscript Of which the old man
seemed much to admire for awhile, and
then, Offering his fee, he retired. But
Mt the door he turned round, and In
loud tones of one who has long been
deaf called out, Doctor, can you cure
dea fncss?" The doctor bowed, shook
his head and made his lips express
NO" II thought so! You have been
very kind to me, therefore l make you
welcome to this prescription" and he
pulled paper from his pocket, adding
1T cured me!'
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
DIVIDENDS PAID DURING 1916.


More than one successful lecture star
had to thank Major Pond for his staIts
He had keen discrimination and hot
infreqrently sought out and dragged
upon the lecture platform an obscure
genius who never thought to see him
self before the footlights. Such II
genius was Bill Nye. When the major
found him he was acting as postmas-
ter and editing the Laramie Boom
erang over a livery stable. e'Walk
down the alley. twist the gray mules
tail take the elevator immediatelyro
Pond persuaded him to try leeturing.
and rs there proved to be both money
and useful publicity in it Nye was
grateful and used for years to remem-
Der the major with characteristic
notes. one of which had the following
exhaustive signature:
Yours with heart full Of gratitude and
a system full of drugs, paints, oil, turpcn-
tine. glass putty and everything usually
kept in Il fl"tt class drug store.
BILL NY
p, S.-Open al nisht.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
HE DID HIS PART.
And tte Editor Thought II Unfair to
Ask Him to Do More.
f. 900
H. 1000

An amusing story. characteristic OF
,hC ed time journalist. is related of Il
famous newspaper td.tor whose piac
Ii, G it was 10 put off the writing Of his
,aauing article until the last moment
md often had to finish it in the com
posing room after all the rest of the
paper was ready and waiting TO go to
press His handwriting, IN ordinary
rfAGitiuns irritatingly difficult to the
UiutCr who had to deal with 1t, was
IA tac5e DC. asions almost illegible.
9fg Night II compUstur who had
ueen given Il Kew lines to set UP strug-
lied hard for some time to make out n
word bat finally had to give up the eff
lort. The writing being absolutely indie
cipherable. Approaching the editor, he
sad. win you tell me what this word
is. please?'
Certainly" replied the editor with
agility And, taking the sheet of pa
per, he held 1t up to the gaslight and
POWDERED the while. Then he turned 1t
Sideways. upside down and held 1t In
every possible position. But lie did not
read out the word. Evidently he him
self was beaten. So, turning to the
compositor, he inquired, Can YOU not
read itY''
NO, SIR" was the reply.
Then how the deuce do you expect
me to do SOP" exclaimed the editor. ut
is your business to read it. Mine Is
only to write it,
And he substituted word that would
ct his meaning.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
A Lucky Band.

There IS police magistrate In n
western city who Is native of Bing-
humton. ~ Y once culprit hailed
into court for drunkenness tcld his
honor that he had played in a brass
band In Binghamton. The judge dis
charged the prisoner.
Now, this incident was published In
the newspapers, and during the next
six months at least five other prisoners
brought before the Judge explained
that they Ind played in the aforesaid
band. The Judge telcsraphed to a
friend back In Binghamton asking how
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
~ Royal Mercantile Company ~
N<T 81 N~A
L.y,dee NNasin

many Pieces were in the oand. The
reply came back, Nine"
himself in court as follows:
thereafter no prisoners will be dis
charged on account Of former member
ship in the Binghanton band. The
limit has been reached New York
Times
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12

BE thou a bird my soul. and mount and
soar
Out OF thy wilderness
Till earth grows less and less.
Heaven more and moro.
Re thou a bird and mount and soar and
sing
TIL all the earth shall be
Vibrant with ecstasy
!enedth thy wing
e thou u bird and trust the autumn come.
That through the painless air
Thou shalt find otherwhere,
herring home.
"A G. G. In New York Tribune
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Mutual Creamery Go.
PIONEER DEVELOPMENT.
Seattle, Washington


In many Western states our time
and money and pioneer work, with
a cash market for the farmers dairy
and poultry products, have made II
nossible to reach the present splendid
development whereby Western states
have become exporters instead of i'm.
porters.
WORLDWIDE MARKET.
We reach local markets, also mar
kets in any part OF the United states
and in all parts OF the world, thus
assuring the producer good returns
and the benefit from a wide distribu-
ton of his products. The farmer
produces and we reach those that
consume and we bring in the dollars
from over the mountains.
OUR PROFITS.
Our profit is fixed by our articles
of Incorporation, namely, 3 per cent,
on sales. if we can earn that much.
should we earn more than per
cent on sales, this surplus earning
is returned to our producer stock
holders. holding stock in the COM
pany at the rate Of one share, par
value SO, for every two cows MIXED.
in proportion to the amount of milk,
cream. eggs and poultry they sell
us. This limits our profits TO az
proximately l cent per pound on but
/ ter, six-tenths OF a cent per pound
on cheese and nine-tenths of cent
per dozen on eggs.
COMPETITION.
This company does not own a
share of stock in any corporation or
firm, whether competitors or not,
directly or indirectly engaged in the
creamery or produce business In the
West. in the United States or in the
world; and no firm, individual or
corporation, whether competitors or
not. directly or indirectly engaged In
the creamery and produce business
in the West. in the United States or
in the world, owns any shares of
stock or holds any interest whatso.
ever in this company.
STOCKHOLDERS.
Two hundred and forty-three
farmers have taken stock in our COM
pany, and sixty-six of our employees
are stockholders. 1t is the right and
privilege of every farmer, with milk
and cream to sell, to become a stock
holder with us, and 60 per cent. of
our capital stock is reserved for pro-
ducerS.
DIVIDENDS PAID DURING 1916.
The total dividends distributed to
: stockholders during the year 1916
: were s per cent. upon the par value
of stock outstanding. We have in
addition to these dividends paid To
the farmers and producers above re-
ferred to per cent. upon the total
! value of dairy and poultry products
sold by them to this company.
MUTUAL CREAMERY COMPANY,
w. F. JENSEN, President
e. w. ELLIS. Manager.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Much Safer Way,

Triboulet was jester to Francis l. A
great lord, offended at his sallies,
threatened to fog him to death. Tri'
boulet went to complain to his master.
IF he does It," said the king, I'll hang
him quarter of all hour after"
Thank ye, cousin" said the fool,
but IL it's all the same, couldn't you do
quarter of an hour befOreT
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Chr Tynhrn 6imlft
----OOo-

If one hasn'. fatty degeneration OF
the brain, it is possible to figure out
a lot of ways to get rich quickly, eV-
en- in such a careful city as Lynden
where everyone has his pocketbook
sewed ND in his inside vest pocket.
For instance, The Gimlet would sug-
eest the following easy method oil ac-
ouiring wealth this week-Just trot
by the old Showers house on that
high West Front Street corner, ana
get an eye put out on the crippled
fence that sticks out over the side
walk. Then sue the Town of Lyn-
den for $4,000 or more, depending
on how much you love your eye, ana
we guarantee you will get the money,
- -oJo-
The patriotic appeal to plant a
garden will be met with response
j by many in the Lynden district. Ev-
en- young Theodore Wood asked ms
mother this week for some seeds OF
his favorite vegetable, the spaghetti.
i 1000
1t has been suggested that a mon
ster parade be held in Lynden, which
meets with our approval provided e.
nough monsters can be found in the
town.
Any woman who desires to enter
her husband in the above parade
should ring up Mark Hammond, who
is in charge of the unique demon
stration.
1000
NJ. A. Hickey publicly admitted
Saturday that he had made his star
in life by winning $3.50 in a foot
race. You guessed it, and Hicke!
cOnfesses to it himself: his Oppon
ent turned to see if Hickey was il
the race, and fell down.
1000
A party of six Lynden Odd Fellow
composed of Earl Mari, A. j RUSSO
Doc Palmer, Rev. Paul Ashby. M. A
Hickey, and S. II. Lewis had to trave
to Clearbrook Saturday on the B. {
NJ, and exhausted Captain Living
stones supply of railroad tickets 70
the month.
| 1000
| One of the interesting sights o
the city is the wagon museum tina
| w. H. NAPLES keeps in his yard o.
Front Street. The collection is con
stantly growing. and contains man
| fine specimens in an excellent stat
of preservation.
E. Zweegman declared in a debat
with the handsome county commits
sioner from this district held Satur
| day in the Eerkes-De Young Breen
! emporium that if the county com
| missioners permitted an inch of con
crete road to be built this year wit
| prices on materials Ugh
they were Drained bunch o
| anarchists with the intelligence o
| wart; and the Gimlet is inclined t.
agree with Mister Zweegman, onl
more so.
II 1000
II Jim Powers is talking of raising
company to be composed of himsel
as spokesman, Emory Gill, Dad VA
Il deryacht, ]. X. Rinehart, and all tn
i others who view the world through
II i. Powers declares that such "a
organization would be great marks
men, as they would not have to tir
II themselves out squirting one ey
shut while aiming.
- 600
> 1000
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12

SAVE MONEY ON MAGAZINES
The Tribune can save you one
fifth to one-half on every maya
zine you read. Ask for a cut-rate
list.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-04-12
Duty.

The reason why people so Ill know
how to do their duty on great occasions
is that they will not be diligent In do
ing their duty OH little occasions.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19

three pounds per 1000, and $500 per
1000 if more than three pounds.
Newspapers would be required to
pay per cent on all advertising col
lections.
The second-class postage section
says:
"After June l next the zone system
applicable to parcel post shall apply
to second-class mail matter, with rates
Of postage two cents pound or frac-
ton when for delivery within the first
or second zones, four cents within
fourth or fifth, five cents within sixth
or seventh, and six cents for delivery
within the eighth zone.
1T is provided, however, that post
age on daily newspapers when depos-
tied in letter carrier Office for deliv-
cry by it's carriers shall be the same as
at present; copies now entitled to free
circulation in the mails within the
county Of publication shall retain that
privilege, and the postmaster general
may require publishers to separate for
zones in mailing.
Newspapers mailed to subscribers
from an office other than that Of pub
lication shall pay the same rate as
If mailed from it's office.
Religious, educational, agricultural,
labor or fraternal publications, issued
without profit, shall pay ~ cents per
pound irrespective of zones"
Theaters and Clubs.
The amusement tax is one cent for
each ten cents or fraction paid for
admission, applying to charges remit
ted in the cases Of persons admitted
free except bona-fide employees. Places
where the maximum charge for admis-
sion is five cents or where the proceeds
of the place admitted to are for relig-
ious or charitable purposes are exempt.
Clubs would be taxed 10 per cent Of
dues or membership fees Except in
itiation fees), the members individu-
ally to pay the tax. This is effective
June /, and the club receiving the
payments or fees is required to col
lect the tax from the person so ad-
mitted and make the returns.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
FORMAL CALL FOR
LIBERTY LOAN
Secretary McAdoo on Tour OF
the Middle West.
TO LOOSEN PURSESTRINGS
Secretary Asks For Generous Re-
sponse To Give Notice To the
Enemies Of the United
States.

Washington. = Secretary McAdoo
will make tour Of the Middle west,
beginning Thursday at Chicago anG
going as far West as Denver, in the
interest of the Liberty Loan, the
formal campaign for subscriptions to
which opened Sunday. He will ad,
dress representative audiences in some
of the chief cities to bring home to the
people of the Middle West the need OF
unanimous cooperation with the gov
ernment in making the big issue more
than success.
Mr.. McAdoo in his official capacity
will tell his audience that the United
States is not engaged in half wal
but is in a fight to the finish with
autocracy still strongly entrenched. He
will appeal to their patriotism to do
their part in making effective the dec
laration of the President that America
pledges all her resources in the cause
of democracy. He will seek to unloose
the purse strings of all classes so that
the Liberty Loan will not only be fully
subscribed, but tremendously oversub-
scribed, and that Germany may realize,
in the words of a statement he issued,
"that we have billions to sacrifice IN
the cause of liberty"
with the announcement of the de-
tails of the Liberty Loan" Mr.. McAdoo
said, ''the preliminary campaign Is
t1o oofr ~ OF
gun. There are 80 days within which
the people of the United States must
make good the action of Congress in
pledging all the resources of the coun-
try for the conduct of a righteous war
"a war for universal liberty.
Must Be Oversubscribed.
Failure to subscribe the $2,000,G0O,-
900 required would be a confession OF
national impotence. l do not for a
moment doubt the overwhelming sue
cess of the Liberty Loan if the peo-
pie are made to realize that no great
work of this kind can be accomplished
unless every one throws himself into
the task with the energy and fire of de-
termined patriotism.
WARS cannot be conducted without
money. 1t is the first thing to be pro-
vided In this war it is the most i'm
mediate help, the most effective help
that we can give. We must not be
content with a subscription of S2,00O,-
100000; we must oversubscribe this
loan as an indication that America is
stirred to the depths and aroused to
the summit of her greatness in the
cause of freedom.
LET us not endanger success by
complacent optimism. Let us not
satisfy ourselves with the reflection
that someone else will subscribe the
requested amount. Let every man and
woman in the land make it his OF lief
business to subscribe to the Liberty
Loan Immediately, and if they cannot
subscribe themselves, let them induce
somebody to subscribe.
"Buy Liberty Bond today; do not
put. it off till tomorrow. Every dollar
provided quickly and expended wisely
will shorten the war and save human
life"
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
The French Operations.

Paris = The official communication
issued by the War Office reads:
Northeast of scissors and on the
Chemin des Danes the artillery fight
ing was intermittent, except in the
sector of La Royere and north OF
Braye en- Laonnois, where the two
artilleries displayed great activity.
I'VE carried out detailed operations
which proved of value to us. North
of Sancy particularly we captured an
enemy trench system and took about
80 prisoners. In the sector of CheV-
reux the Germans attempted anew to
drive us from the trenches which we
gained on May 8; their attacks were
broken by our barrage and machine
gunfire.
Our batteries caught under their
fire and dispersed enemy troops con
centrating in that region. Quite
spirited artillery actions occurred
south of Moronvilliers. Northwest OF
Prosnes we made appreciable progress
and took about 80 prisoners"
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
WAR ON U-BoATs MORE TELLING.
Fact Shown In Secretary Of Navy's
Speech To Reichstag.

Washington.-The increasing efic
iency of the Allies in submarine de-
struction was recognized in speech
by the German Secretary of the Navy
in the Reichstag on May 10. Official
accounts of the speech reaching here
report the German Secretary as say
ing that while the submarine warfare
had achieved far greater results than
was expected, a certain number Of sub
marines had been lost as the result
of improved means of destruction de-
yised by the Allies.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
VIRGINIA TO FURNISH $3.50.
West Virginia's Quota OF New Army
Is 7,OeO.

Washington. - Based upon popula-
ton estimates by the Census Bureau,
Virginia's quota for the first army OF
100000 men to be chosen under the
selective draft system will be 1920,
while West Virginia will be called
upon to furnish 1880.
The Census Bureau estimates that
Virginia has 186,400 men between the
ages of 81 and 80 years and West Vir-
ginia 141,6O0 between the same ages.
The estimates of the War Department
is that only per cent of the 10000
600 young men between 81 and 80 will
be called out for the first army.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
FLOUR MAY GO TO $40.
With Food Control 1t Can Be Cut
Under SIS, Says Hoover.

New York-Eerbert c. Hoover, who
recently came from Europe 10 advise
the Government on food conditions in
Europe, says that without control flour
may go to $40 barrel before the year
is over, but that with control "the pres
ent pprice of -four can be reduced 40 to
so per cent. and at the same time the
producer be treated in a liberal man
ner'
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
U. S. NOT IN JOINT PEACE PACT
No Agreement, Written Or Unwritten.
Says Lansing.

hingtOn.--Secretary Lansing de-
MED published reports that the United
States has an agreement with the
Entente Allies not to make separate
peace with German, by saying:
"There is no agreement, written or
unwritten, relative to peace"
When pressed to say whether the
subject sd been discussed informally.
Mr. Lansing declined to talk of the
subject further. He would not init
mate that there was any probability
of the United States acting separately,
but said the question of an agreement
never had been raised
Interest in the attitude of the Gov
ernment springs from announcements
that the German Chancellor is to make
another offer of peace terms soon.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19

VIV nVD nDDII IUlVnl InALO ] NUi VOLD
IN $1,000, 600, 900 war REVENUE BILL
These figures are the
there will
finance committee will hold hearings at which arsu
and objections may be presented
Increase 10 per cent
10 per cent
Letter POSTAGE cents
Postal cards
Corporation From to per cent
Stock each sale future delivery for
additional 500 fraction cents
original issue of $780, cents transfers
Bonds debenures ETC., 500
bonds SO eents where premium in excess Of s1oo
exceeding
2 each $1o0 cents
realty for first 500 to $780, so eents for
$500 fraction, so
Proxy charitable literary societies public
industrial eek) cents each 500
Marine international and ........... premium
cacuaty policies 81 Of premium
Passenger per except
$40 to $780,
81; from $50 to ss exceeding $50 IS.
and water per cent
Automobiles and motorcycles per cent on wholesale price
Electric mower
Telephone and telegraph bills
Tephone Oonq 15o
per on those costing over $40
-u:.. ,..;..s ner cent m those cosino over $40
Jewey Of selling price
Cosmetics and proprietary
ad
OF cent for each ~ cents cnareeo
exposed) sold by manufacturer " importer
.R linear foot
Moving ady leased manua
importer .7c per linear root
Chewing gum imported Of selling price
Distilled Doubled
s'2o for every barrel
sparkling eordiaIs. Tax doubled
doubled
juice mineral water ginger ale
and all carbonated cents per gahon
(bottd) cents per gallon
doubled
cioars $40 1000
Cigarettes weight Increase S12S per 1oo
Cigarettes (havy weioht) 1000
cent for each 70 papers
kinds including lacrosse billiard
balls. per cent
Fishn9 roos reefs ana lines
tables per cent
addition present tax cents
motorboats per cent OF price
lines ...o per cent on cha ees
rates and magazines)-
Second to third
Sixth seventh . cents
Eighth cents
RELIGIOUS
advs.isino .....................-..5p
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
AUSTRIA TO SEEK PEACE?
Holland Hears "Politicians Will Visit
France

London. = The Amsterdam CORE.
spondent Of the Exchange Telegraph
Company wires that he has learned
from the best Of sources that three
prominent Austrian politicians are
about to leave for Switzerland bearing
peace proposals and that they hope to
be given safe conduct to France in
order to discuss with the French Cab
met the possibility of peace.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19

tain parts, such as genuine stag
handles for carvers, are scarce and
difficult to obtain. The material,
deer's horns, comes almost entirely
from India, and its receipt is uncertain
and it takes forever and day to get
it. So only limited supply can be
had, and limitations are many-New
York Times.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
MERGENTHALER IN BRONZE.
Bust Unveiled In Chicago BY OId-Time
Printers.

Chicago.-Ar bronze bust of Ottmar
Mergenthaler, inventor of the linotype
machine, was unveiled at the Shepard
School in commemoration of the sixty
third anniversary of the birth Of the
inventor. The presentation and IN
yelling were under the auspices of the
Old-Time Printers Association.
Middletown transcript., 1917-05-19
PRESIDENT SIGNS ARMY BILL.
Appropriation For Fiscal Year Is
s27o,ooo,ooo.

Washington. - President Wilson
signed the annual Army Appropria-
ton bill for the fiscal year ending
June 80, 1918, and carrying approx
imately $27O,0O0,O00. No ceremony
marked the signing. The bill failed
of passage in the regular session o.
Congress, and it was one of the first
measures taken up in the present ses-
sion.