davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

Fuzzy"
 "Fuzzy" Woodruff.
 Fuzzy woodruffs home.
 Fuzzy is a managing editor.
 
 Just think of it. Grandma" will now have the time of her life.
 Here's hoping that Fuzzy" is going to make a great record with the Adver- tiser as a sure enough editor.
 dare say no other editor occupies just such unique place in the hearts of the linen who sit in easy chairs" in Ala bama sanctums as does harun- -scarum Fuzzy" Woodruff
 I'm glad he's back in Alabama. While he made good in Georgia, we missed him in this state. Let him take for his own motto, that of Alabama, Here We Rest"
 I don't mean Fuzzy" will ever be at rest. He is not built that way. He wont rest himself and what's worse he won't let any one else around him rest He'll never be at rest until he is put beneath the sod.
 I don't know whether it's true, but in his Georgia exile some one started ru- nor that Fuzzy" was Atlantas Beau Brummell. It sounds apochryphaL
 It's beyond belief to those who for years have seen Fuzzy in old souch hat sloshing around the gridiron, or bumped on the bleachers or lounging around hotel lobbies.
 You might Just as well start rumor that Fuzzy" had a valet and was put ting on dog" or that he was wearing a monocle
 Next thing we know somebody will be saying Fuzzy is dignified and getting off highbrow stuff Perish the thought. refuse to have anyone cast Fuzzy in any new character stunt. It's the old Fuzzy know, and I'm not going to let anyone recast him in a new part.
 
 Well, it's good to know that when I go to Montgomery dear old Fuzzy" will be there. It's hard on the Montgomerians to have the Advertiser take him off the street and tie him down to a desk If Fuzzy had been at home when Julian Street visited the city, Julian could have found a story in him that would have repaid him for his visit to Mont gomery. Fuzzy is g. type that Street could have made great copy out of Street may not have like the Adver- tiser and it's advertisements, but I'm sure he would have joyed in Fuzzy If Fuzzy" had been holding down a desk when Julian was taking a fling Yes, when the newspaper boys float into the editorial rooms of the Adver- tiser, over a certain door they will see a strange sign, Managing Editor, Mr. Woodruff"
 But, boys, don't let the sign fool you Just step on the inside and you'll find the same old Fuzzy without any frills, but buckled down to hard work.
 Here's hoping he will live long and prosper and do his best to relieve Ala bama of the dead monotony that threat ans to ,,o,Inmifv rs editors
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
PaGriotisHm and
 Helpful Spirit

1NH HE patriotism pervading the J country is only what should be expected. But it is gratifying, never theless, to see the great corporations taking an active part in cooperating with the government in its prepara- tions to wage war against Germany.
 It is no longer true that corpora tions have no souls. Before America was drawn into the European conflict the trusts gave evidence that they were ready to join in any work seek ing to strengthen the national de- fense. And for many years past most of the corporations have been en- gagged in philanthropic enterprise under the name of welfare work-im- proving the living conditions of their employees. Here in the Birmingham district there is scarcely an industrial concern that hasSnot given proof of possessing "soul quality"
 But in the war crisis the bigger the corporation the greater it's eagerness to be helpful to Uncle Sam. It counts for much and the good that comes from this patriotic impulse and hu- man side during the war emergency will not be lost after the war is over | We will hear less of "soulless corpor- ations."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
Two Draft Plans
 Quite DiGGeremG

TN URING the third year of the lV civil war conscription in the north had to be resorted to because volunteers were no longer responding with alacrity. In 1861, when the war started, recruiting stations were over crowded. Union patriotism was at a high tension, but later on the volun- teers began to fall off numerically. The conscription act that was passed fell heavily upon the poor and lightly upon men who could afford to hire substitutes. And that is why it was often referred to as odious.
 The south could outright the north, generally speaking, but the north had vast population compared with the southern Confederacy, and it was only question of time when numbers would win. In order to obtain the numbers conscription was absolutely necessary.
 The Wilson administrators se- lective draft measure now pending to meet the German war situation is en- tirely different from that adopted in Lincoln's day. There is certainly nothing harsh about it. On the other
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
Cullrmam Farmers
 Imcreasimg Crops

O8AOA G@SSAA8s9 SG OlpS
 RAT RS. c. H. MATHIS inspira- GV0 tional talks to the farmers of Alabama are listened to eagerly and are resulting in great practical good; and such, of course, might be ex- pected. Scientific husbandry IS bringing Alabama forward, but theory without the common sense side will not accomplish what is needed. It IS the combination of agricultural chem istry and knowledge that comes from observation and experience which makes farming pay; and Mrs. Mathis has both a scientific and a practical grasp and she knows how to impart her knowledge in gripping way to the average plowman. No farmer, no matter whether his learning be linn tied or of the classroom sort, ever listens to Mrs. Mathis without profit ing by what she says.
 Cullman county, noted for the thrift of it's farmers, gave Mrs. Mathis cordial welcome few days ago, and her animating address there will surely bear fruit. Cullman is rich trucking county, and in large farming, too, it is exceptionally suc- cessful. Its cotton production last year was not up to normal, but still it was most profitable crop. The boil weevil did some damage, but the farmers got ahead of the pest and made within 30 per cent of full crop; and the yield-about 10000 bales-brought more money than the ordinary crop of something like 3O,0O0. Cullman has planted about the same acreage in cotton that was planted in 1916, but it is increasing in large measure it's food crops.
 Before Mrs. Mathis visit the farmers had resolved to plant more corn and vegetables and since she ex- plained the necessity of increased production of food and feedstuff, the acreage is to be rapidly extended. The sweet potato crop in Cullman will probably be doubled.
 With intensive farming Cullman county could easily feed all of north Alabama; and two or three of the northern counties could feed the en- tire state. This years lesson will be of great value to Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
NO SINGING NOW.

NO SINGING NOW. T Today I do notiwant to sing I'm neither glad nor solemn; And so I write this foolish thing To flT the bloomin' column.
 Toledo Blade, Today do not want to sing, have no heart for tryin'; want to find a brick to ping On the head of Bill Bryan.
 Houston Post. Today I do not want to sing, I'm full of grippy woes; want my hanlSy forth to bring And blow my bIoomin' nose.
 Memphis Commercial-Appeal. Today I do not want to sing No music in. my soul Just two more lines will make the string And fill the gaping hole
 Columbus Enquirer-Sun. Today do not yant to sing, I'd much prefer to fuss, With paper prices in the air And gettin' wuss and wuss
 Walton Tribune. Today I do not want to sing About a pout or kiss But simply cannot' let pass A long p1Ckup uke lnlS-
 Savannah Press Today I do not want to sing, Though 'tis the singing season. Spring fever has me in its grip And maybe that's the reason. SIMPLE ENOUGH. T met a man just now who said he didn't believe anything he read in news papers," Tt would be easy to cure him of that" "How?" 'eBy putting his name in print and re- ferring to him as prominent citizen"
 BAND MATERIAL. ''Your country calls you" said the pa triotic man. I'm ready to serve.'' sTn what capacity?' 'Tm the champion piccolo player of this township"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
THEIR OPINIONS
he Cincinnati Enouirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
 Benjamin De Casseres of New York, recently obtained planchette and called on the spirits of the immortals to ex- press their opinions on prohibition. This Is what some of them wrote on the plan chette, according to MT. De Casseres:
 Daniel Webster-"P Prohibition is sign of national decadence. A country that is too cowardly to drink is on the tobog."
 Robert Burns-"I should prohibit the use of alcohol in the arts and sciences. But not otherwise"
 Rabelais-"A hope, all ye who enter the grapejuicery." Prohibition is all right for the dead. But I got away with Auster- litz on brandy" Thomas fferson-"Prohibition is lese liberte.'
 Confucius--"We tried it here in our time. and man invented opium because of it''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
Misc0mceptiom I'm
 Regard to Rabies

1T7HE attention of Age-Herald read 4 CTS is called to an interesting and timely article on rabies, which is published on the editorial page this morning. The author, Prof. William Litterer of the Vanderbilt faculty, iS a noted bacteriologist. The article originally appeared in the Nashville Banner. It is reproduced because of the popular misconception tbat rabies increases with the coming of warm weather and also because it contains a great deal of information which will correct other erroneous ideas regard ing hydrophobia.
 The fact that rabies has been eradi- cated in England shows that it could be stamped out in this country, where 1t is most prevalent, if the proper laws were passed and enforced. In course of time we may get around to the needed legislation, but the na- tional habit of carelessness in such matters has made the disease con- stant menace to the public and en- courages people who love dogs to ex- pose themselves unnecessarily to in lection.
 It is a curious fact. pointed out by
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
REBUFFED AGAIN.

T kneel at your feet and ask you to the manner of stage lovers.
 T see you do," answered the sarcastic girl. And I'll just wager pearl neck lace against chocolate sundae that you crease in your trousers than you are about making me happy for life.,e
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
STILL FRIENDLY.

Are you on friendly terms with your landlord?'o
 T am for the present." answered the impecunious citizen.
 T don't quite understand"
 He has only dunned me twice for the rent this month. I never fall out with him until he tackles me the third time. ]"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
ExcaIIent Shot
of Momg0liam Gummer

of M0mg@Iiam GWmmer
 A MEXICAN gunnery has been GA vindicated by the shot fired at 1000 yards from the Mongolian, which shattered the periscope of a German submarine. Adverse criticism has been directed at the marksman- ship of the United States navy and much of it was not deserved. A great deal of attention has been devoted to target practice by the navy in the past two years and the average of efficiency has been raised.
 Americans have always been noted for being good shots on land and sea. All naval gunners take pride in their work and if some of our battleships have made poor records in the past it is safe to assume that they are no longer inferior in that respect.
 The details of providing merchant men with armament and gunners have been kept secret. It is not likely that men were taken from the gun crews of any battleships now in com mission, because they could not be spared, and if reserve gunners can hit periscope at the first shot, at ditance of 1000 yards, it behooves the German U-boat commanders to think twice before attacking an armed mer- chantman flying the American flag.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

hand, It IS democratic, humane and al- together reasonable. But politicians who play to the galleries ring the changes on the word draft and -Four volunteer traditions" without differ entiating between the conditions and circumstances of today and the years gone by.
 When southern statesmen like Hilary A. Herbert and our great leaders in the nations life at the present time support the President with order the public should feel as- sured that selective conscription as provided in the bill is wise meas ure-by far the best thing for the country in this crisis. Says a Birmingham (Ga.) paper: If those pesky Gamsrenyybyfbwto Germans isolate Petrograd from the Russian army there is some likelihood of it's name being changed back to St. Petersburg" '" It takes the south to invent good, swinging cussword !-Cleveland Plain Dealer. And it takes a Cleveland para grapher to remove Birmingham from Ala bama and place it in a state that shame lessly kowtows to Atlanta.
 * *
 U-boat in motion picture was an Amer can submarine. He's sorry now that he applauded.
 The price of "hot dogs" at Coney Island 1has gone up from cents to dime. About all a nickel is good for nowadays is car ride.
 A Chicago man borrowed an army uni form and a sword and had a pleasant time masquerading as an officer until he attention while their beer got flat. His victims had him arrested.
 * * -,:
 The gun on board the Mongolia, which is believed to have sunk a German sub- marine, was named Theodore Roose- welt" There is no getting around it. Teddy is a man of destiny.
 * * *
 IT. days of old when knights were bold and sliced off the sheads of dragons, they didn't show any more courage than the airmen of Europe in thrilling aerial bat ties. A naturalist says that some varieties of sharks furnish fillets as delicious as swordfish steak" In the meantime, just how delicious is swordfish steak :? And it takes a Cleveland paragrapher to remove Birmingham from Alabama and place it in state that shamelessly kowtows to Atlanta Chicago lost two citizens whose com bined weight was S60 pounds. Neither one wasted any of his valuable time try ing to reduce. A recent photograph shows Mr. James J. Jeffries, former champion of the world, surrounded by $500 cows That's the life! American gunners are going to show an aptitude for hitting periscope that will surprise the Teutons. The Turks have learned something else from the Germans. They always retire flor strategical reasons There are patriots in this country who are so lazy they would like to be deck hands on submarine
 < *
 That s2o0 900 won't last England long. but there is plenty more where the first loan came from.
 * X
 The Khan of Kiva has read the hand writing on the wall and will give his people a constitution.
 * !: <
 Some of the slackers who married in haste are quite willing now to fight for their country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Professor Litterer, that the word hy- drophobia, which means the fear of water, is not applicable to lower ami mals which go mad. It is only in hu- man beings that the sight of water, or any other liquid, for that matter, causes convulsions. It is also well worth while to note carefully his de- scription of the appearance and ac- tions of dogs with rabies. Many a fine animal has been sacrificed be- cause it was thought to have had rabies, when suffering from a com paratively harmless complaint.
 Another popular misconception concerns the so-called "madstones," which are not only of no efficacy whatever, but are actually dangerous to the ignorant persons who use them. Professor Litterer tells in his article the proper way to treat the wound made by rabid dog. Furthermore, he states "that not a single cure of a case of human rabies has been report ed after symptoms have once begun to appear" Prompt action is neces- sary to avoid fatal results and it is therefore all the more desirable that the public be informed regarding one of the most dreadful diseases known to man or beast.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
STRICTLY MODERN.

STRICTLY MODERN. "An up-to-date father. you say?" Undoubtedly" But why do you think so?" Well. he seems to take pride in the fact that his son is in the tolls of noted stage beauty
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
BEGINNING THE DAY-"our

Father in heaven. take away, we beseech Thee, from the individual heart all guile, that we may have the ideal home, the ideal govern ment. the ideal church; that Thy kingdom may come and Thy will be done i'm earth as it is in heaven, in the spirit of the Master. Amen." -COuden.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
<3sxNzI1N1@au1fH

P. S.-Believe it or not, just as you please, but Fuzzy" is actually boosting that he is on the wagon water" May he never be jolted off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
HOTEL LOBBTES
pelay lad Cordova weIl

Operations have been temporarily suspended on our Cordova oil well because of an accident" said R. D. Curry of the Pratt Consolidated Coal and Iron company yesterday, but will soon be resumed.
 We blew the well last week and during the process a derrick was wrecked. This has halted work, but as soon as it can be repaired every thing will be pushed. There are plenty of prospects and we hope to soon be getting the real oil.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
WORTH WHILE.

| WOINIIl WI11il1.
 He may not be so wealthy and he may 1 not be so wise l And in this world he may not play very lofty part,
 But give to me the man who has twin kle in his eyes, Who radiates the sunshine that is stored
 up in his heart!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
Must Help the Farmer

The thing that impresses me most in the food preparedness campaign" said w. H. Staton, "is the fact that we must help the farmer who has been made dependent on account Of floods, boil weevil and the hard rain storms of last summer.
 These fellows are not to be classed with the indolent farmer who is too lazy to take his tools in for the win ter, but leaves them out In the fence corner to depreciate by rust and to rot from rain, for they are victims of con ditions over which they had no con- trol
 We must get the merchant to be mighty lenient with him in the mat ter of credits. and make the banker do the same thing. for the merchant must feed this fellow until he can get on his feet again"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
THE GOOD SHIP "MARY PATrENY

THE GOOD SHIP "MARY PATTEN" New York Correspondence in Cincinnati
 Times-Star
 Well. anyway. we've got one laugh out of the war conditions here in New York. They've taken the good ship Mary Patten' off of her summer route up the Shrewsbury river because she may be needed as a transport. Some of you-or your parents or grandparents-may have ridden on the Mary Patten at one time or another, in which case you are with us in an outburst of merriment. 'Irv'' Cobb. when embarking. once. upon this famous vessel said to the captain: II have no desire to interfere with your navigation, sir, but take it for granted that you aint goin' to take this thing out
 where it's over your head"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
FEARED THE WORST.

Did your doctor give you the kind of advice you expected?"
 "Oh. yes" replied the bon vivaDt. That's why I put off going to him as long as could I knew he would tell me to quit smoking, abstain from alco- holic liquors and stop eating fancy food"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

There was never yet fair woman, but she made mouths in n glass.
 king Lear. * * *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
Some Needs of Birmingham

George R. Hilty, assistant secretary of the Bronx parkway commission of Bronxville N. T., was a caller at the office of President George B. Ward of the city commission yesterday, and told tue Birmingham commissioner that all Birmingham needed was a new city hall, an adequate system of public parks and civic center.
 T can afford to say these things, as I an. not after any job. I have mine and Birmingham cannot take it away from me. l give you the criticism of an out slider, though I formerly lived here and am spending my vacation here, I have no ax to grind. I do believe that Bir- mingham ought to get together and inn prove her parks, build new city hall and have a civic center There is enough money here to do these things, and they should be done to conform with the hand some office buildings, new department stores and the beautiful residences" said MT. Hilty
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
CONCORD HYMN

 By Ralph Waldo Emerson, By the rude bridge that arched the flood, Their flag to April's breeze unfurled, Here once the embattered farmers stood. And fired the shot heard round the
 world. The foe long since in silence slept; Alike the conqueror silent sleeps; And Time the ruined bridge has swept Down the dark stream which seaward
 creeps.
 On this green bank by this soft stream. We set today a votive stone; That memory may their deed redeem. When, like our sires, our sons are gone.l Spirit, that made those heroes dare To die, and leave their children fre& Bid Time and Nature gently spare The shaft we raise to them and three
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Washington bureau. 2O7 Hibbs Build ing.
 European bureau. Henrietta street, Convent Garden, London.
 Eastern business office. Rooms AS to 50, inclusive. Tribune Building, New York city; western business office, Tribune Building. Chicago. The $. c. Beckwith Special Agency. agents for foreign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
TELEPHONE

TELEPHONE Bell (priVate exchange connecting all departments) Main 49OO.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Here's hoping he will live long and prosper and do his best to relieve Ala bama of the dead monotony that threat ems to mummify us editors
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for shat purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address,
 THE AGE HERALD.
 Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Daily and SundayAge-HeraId, year SS.0C Daily without Sunday ........ 6.0e Daily and Sunday, per month =. 70 Daily and Sunday. three months 2.o0
 sunday Age-Herald, per annum 2.Oo
 Weekly ge-Herald, per annum e. .25
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, 1 postoffiee as second class matter up- der act, of Congress, March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-27
FACTS ABOUT RABIES

By William Litterer A. M., Ph. C., M.
 D., Nashville, Tenn, Professor of Bac- teriology at Vanderbilt School of Med
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1917-08-23
Thursday, August %, 1917,

press cars pass through every town that has
railroad running through it.
If the bundle is addressed to some one per-
son, and all The Jefersonians for that person
put in the bundle, the expressman will throw
it off, as the car passes through.
The risk IN this is, of course, not having
any one who would be interested enough to
be at the station, when the express went
through, to pick up the bundle
Will you help?
Doesn't it seem rather hard that man who
IS trying to help YOU, by expressing your SEN
tlments, keeping you posted on matters of
vital Importance to yourself, and doing it all
without object Of any benefit to himself
should be denied the privileges that every
quack medicine man, hundreds of "invest-
ment" schemes and the lile-are accorded?
IN the meanwhile, our book department is
still operating in full blast Besides buying
copy Of the Constitution of the United
States, you might, after reading the daily pa
pers, which are telling you in box-car letters
OF the efforts of the pope for world peace"
also refresh your mind with some Roman
Catholic history, which tells of other popes,
at other times, also demanding world peace.
on Roman Catholic terms.
For a starter, I'd suggest: A Short His
tory of the Papacy and the Popes, 10c
The Massacre of st. Bartholomew, 25c
House of Hapsburg, Soc
The Oath of the knights Of Columbus. 10c
When you have read any or all of these.
you will, [ am sure, be willing to help keep
The Jeffersonian going, and you might write
and tell me so. A. L..