The Washington herald., 1917-11-06
y
GOOD /
MORNING
JUDGE
D
hUooupH
PeRoss


Braxton c. Jurney is an express
messenger.
In the part Of North Carolina where
he came from they hold inquests over
people who call each other bad names.
The ether day Braxton had Just
come In from run to the Carolina
mountains.
Some fresh guy insulted him. Then
some others pitched in and called his
relatives names.
Out of Braxton's hip pocket came
his gun. He flourished 1t around for
a few minutes. Then all of a sudden
everybody in that neighborhood was
behaving.
A cop ran UP and found Braxton in
the express car. wondering whether or
not he would have to murder someone
before he went home.
He was relieved OF his gun. Then he
was put In the coop, where he stayed
all night Down where he came from
they congratulate a man instead of
falling him.
The court accepted his bond to keep
the peace. All very nice.
Whoa, Bill.
A horse can find his way home with
picked driver. but an auto, no mat
ter how nice it runs, cannot do 1t.
This bit of information, which might
have been had free Of charge, cost
Bill Hanson 500.
Bill had been driving a car. That is,
when the car was not crawling
around in the street like n crippled
rabbit.
The other evening his-car was wob-
bling down the street like q ship with
out rudder. Bill was in 1t all right,
but he was soused.
A bottle got in the way of the front
tire and 1t went bling" An SIS cas-
ing all gone to pot.
Bill leaned over to see What had
happened, and he almost fell out of
the car. Everybody on the street was
lodging that machine.
A cat got mixed up with the steer
ing gear. Then Bill ano g cop got to-
gethcr. Bill was locked up.
He doesn't know yet how he got in
the cooler. But where to get hold of
that 800 is what worries him most.
They Used to Do 1t in the West.
Imagine a bellboy in a hotel walk
ing around with a ''3S'' stuck in his
hind pocket.
The fellow In question, Arthur
Smith, did not have that gun there
TO hold up guests for tips. oh. no.
He was waiting to see whether or
not he would be compelled to plug
two other bellhops. who had threaten
ed to send him to the morgue.
1t was all about some liquor that
had been swiped and which Arthur
had found and consumed. The other
two boys claimed ownership, Ar
thur said, and were after his scalp.
Arthur comes from that part Of
Virginia where every man who can
shoot straight manages to live to a
ripe old age. provided folks know
of his craftsmanship.
All three were nabbed. A whole
regiment of witnesses were on hand.
Twas no use. however.
Arthur was paroled and the other
two boys had to put up a bond OF
500 to keep the peace.
The InexplicabIe Woman.
ledge, las Sadday night All heats
mahseff some bot water to TEX a
bath. All dumps a wash boiler full
in de tub, en- carried de boiler back
to de kitchen.
Wen All Gums up again, de tub
was full OBJ dirty clos. All az,
nah wife bout it, en- she glib Ine
some lip, en- All boxes her jaws"
Don't you know you have no right
to hit a woman" asked the court OF
Peter Gray. charged with mauling his
wife
We'll. All may hab, en- All may not
hab, ledge" answered Peter, but
seems ter me wen a big womun like
dat sasses a liz fellow LAX me, some
fin gotter be done bout it,"
Peter weighs about one-third as
much as Josie, his wife. Just why
she did not let her go pounds fall on
him, instead OF having him locked
up, we don't know.
And, besides, she paid a SO fine for
him. Whaddye YOU know about that?