The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1917-06-14
Fable Of the Scoffer Who Fell
Hard andt the Woman Sitting By
Copyright by the Mcclure Newspaper syndicat.
By GEORGE ABE

| spanked, but he thought there was no
valid excuse for overrunning on the
Approaches.
Mr.. Pallzey found himself criticizing
| the Form of the Players. That should
have been his Cue to climb the Fence.
| All of the Mashiemaniacs start on
the downward Path by making Mind
Plays and getting under Bogey.
Back on the sloping Sward between
No. Is and the Life-Saving Station, the
two Contestants were holding the usu-
al POst-Mortem.
Let me see that Dewf1icker a min
ute" said Mr.. Pallzey, as he carelessly
extracted Mid-Iron.
He sauntered up to the silly Globule
and took an unprecedented Swipe.
The Stroke rang sweet and vibrant.
The ball rose in parabOlic Splendor
above the highest branches Of ven
cradle Elm.
Just as the Face of the Club started
on the Following Through, the Bacil-
lus ran up and bit Mr. Pallzey on the
| Leg.
He saw the blinking White Spot far
out on the emerald Plain. He heard
the murmur of Admiration behind him.
| He was sorry his Wife had not been
there to take it in.
Leave me have another Ball." re-
quested Mr.. Pallzey.
The Virus was working.
He backed up so as to get Running
| Start.
"This time," quoth Mr.. Pallzey, II
will push it to Milwaukee"
Missing the Object of Attack by a
scant six inches, he did Genee toe
spin and fell heavily with his Face
among the Dandelions.
The Host brushed him off and said:
"Your Stance was wrong; your Tee
was too high; you raised the Left
Shoulder; you were too rapid on the
Comeback; the Grip was all In the
Left Hand; you looked up; you moved
your Head Of the top of the Stroke;
you allowed the Left Knee to turn,
and you stood ahead OF the Ball. 9th
erwise, it was Loo-Loo."
eff I come out next Sunday could
you borrow me Kit Of ToOls?" asked
Mr.. Pallzey. He was twitching violent
ly and looking at the Ball as if 1t had
called him a Name. 81 got the first
one all right, and I think"
So it was arranged that the poor
doomed Creature was to appear on the
following Sabbath and be equipped
with a set of Cast-Offs and learn all
about the Mystery of the Ages be-
tween IL a. IN. and p. m.
Mr.. Pallzey went away not knowing
that he was Marked Man.
On Monday he told the Stenographer
how he stung the Ball the first time
up. He said he was naturally quick
at picking up any kind Of Game. He
thought it would be Lark to get the
hang Of the Whole Business and then
get after some of those BertieS in the
White Pants. He figured that Golf
would be Pipe for anyone who had
played Baseball when young.
Truly all the raving is not done with
in the Padded Cells.
He came home in the Sabbath twi-
light, walking on his Ankles and bah
bling about a Dandy Drive for the
Long Hole.
Regarding the other 378 Strokes he
was discreetly silent.
He told his Wife there was more in
it than one would suppose. The Eas-
Ter the Swat, the greater the Carry.
And he had made one Hole in seven.
Then he took a Parasol out of the
Jar, and illustrated the famous Long
Drive with Moving Pictures, Tableaux,
Delsarte, and some newly acquired
| technical Drivel, which he mouthed
with childish Delight.
Now we see him buying Clubs, al
though he refers to them as Sticks
proving that he is still a cropping NeO-
phyte.
He thinks that a shorter Shaft and
more of Lay-Back will enable him to
drive a Mile. The GooSeneck Putter
will save him two on every Hole. Also,
will the Man please show him an Iron
guaranteed to reach all the way down
to the Dimple and PUNK it right in the
Eye.
Then all of the new Implements laid
out at Home and Wife sitting back,