davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
TOOK PARROT BY MISTAKE
Country Gentleman Who Had Dined
and Wined Too Well Couldn't Find
His Lantern in Morning.

A certain gentleman living in the
country, who was something of bon
viveur, was invited to dinner by a
nefghbor. The night was very dark,
and in order to guide him on his way
he took with him the stable lantern, a
clumsy old thing bound round with
wires. The gentleman reached his
friends house in safety and enjoyed
himsef extremely. The dinner was
good and the wine excellent.
Presently the hour for the return
Journey arrived. He forgot to relight
his lantern, but though the moon re-
fused to shine he arrived home all
right. On the following morning he
could not find his precious lantern, so
he sent his gardener with note to his
friend couched In the following terms :
"Dear Jones: viii you kindly return
to the bearer the stable lantern which
I left at your house last night?
"Yours sincerely,
81. r. ROBINSON"
He received the following reply:
Dear Robinson: am returning the
lantern, but will you kindly send back
the parrot and fits cage you took away
with you last night instead Of your
lantern? Yours sincerely"
"E. P. JONES'"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
PRESS BUTTONS FOR CARPETS
European Inventor Devises System
Similar TO That Used In the
Fastening Of Gloves.

. The press button system with
which we are familiar in gloves and
garments has been applied by Eu-
ropean inventor for fixing carpets,
tapestry, hangings and the like, says
the Scientific American. For in
stance, a small spring socket is in
serted flush with the floor, and the
carpet carries a corresponding pro-
lection, so that all that is needed to
lay a carpet or rug is to push the
buttons into the sockets. q
Again, the projections are mount
ed along a stout tape band and the
sockets on another, quite like the
usual pressure buttons. One tape is
sewed to the rug and another can be
tackled down upon an already laid
carpet, so that the rug can be laid or
removed instantly.
Hangings can be put on the walls
in the same way. Curtains or por-
there's can also be mounted, and all
such material can be at once removed
for cleaning. In case of fire valuableI
hangings can be saved.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
Navel Orange From RahIs.

1t was from plantation near Bahia,
so far as can be determined, that the
budded trees were obtained through
which the navel orange wood was In
troduced into the United States. Sew
erai were shipped TO the United
States department Of agriculture.
Trees were grown in the department
greenhouses, and others propagated
from them were distributed TO Cali
fornia and Florida. The variety
proved to be unsuited to Florida con-
ditions, but in California It is very
productive and highly valued. Almost
the entire present planting Of the va
riety in that state, according to a
writer in the Scientific American, can
be traced directly back TO two Of the
trees sent there by the department Of
agriculture in 1873.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
ALL REQUIREMENTS OF HERO
Meriwether Lewis, President Jeffer-
sons Secretary, Had Qualifications
Demanded In Fiction.

When a writer comes TO the fashion
ing Of hero usually lTe wants a tall
young man-the ladies love that sort.
Meriwether Lewis was a tall young
man, goodly In inches and in thews. A
hero must have courage, or the ladies'
will not like him. What hero Of fact
or fiction ever showed more courage
than he did, ! question IL Christie
pher Columbus ever needed more cOur-
age or ever showed more than Meri-
wether Lewis.
A hero must be q trife Of an ele-
CANT also, else the ladies will not like
him. Meriwether Lewis was once
called "a splendid dandy" He was
not only President Thomas Jefferson's
business assistant, but his social sec
rotary as well, and arbiter Of good
form in the early days of Washing
ton.
The ladies like a hero with a past,
with certain air Of melancholy about
him. No author need imagine these
things for Meriwether Lewis-there
was mystery and romance in all his
life. Dead at thirty-five years Of age,
he died as he had lived, surrounded
still with a very halo Of mystery, en-
veloped in a splendid reticence which
shielded him against all the world.
That mystery exists even today. The
full story Of his life has never been
told, and may never be told. In short,
he was a hero, with all the elements
of heroism. OF him certainly it might
be written that he lived always a gen
tleman unafraid. officer, gentleman,
soldier, statesman, born leader and
born lover-why imagine heroes when
such as this exist Emerson Hough
in Southern Woman's Magazine.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
FIJIAN RACE IS DYING OUT
South Sea Islanders No Longer Saw
ages and cannibaI But Humorous,
Good-Natured Loafers.

The Fiji islands abound in reputa-
ton. To our grandparents they were
the last word in barbarism, smile
for anything at once remote and ter,
rible, a place where missionaries got
steVed-by the cannibals-and clothes
were worn not at all.
The general impression Of the South
Sea islands as wild and degenerate
part Of the world was sOftened and IL
lumined by the writings of Mark
Twain about Hawaii and by Robert
Louis Stevenson's essays from Samoa.
But no one wrote anything important
about the Fijians, and that is why the
islands and people today are so very
different from what you would expect
to find them.
The Fijians are not only no longer
savages and cannibals, but they are
fast disappearing altogether. Hindus,
Englishmen and SamOans are the toll
ers of the islands. The fierce Solomon
islander is seen here, too, but is more
apt to be hunting your laundry than
your head. The Ffjian, still distin-
guished by the frizzled aureole of his
hair and the scantiness of his attire.
is a humorous, good-natured loafer.
His native island is rapidly being
taken away from him by more indus
trious peoples, and his race is dying
out; but these things worry him not
at all. He lives by the fish of his
rivers and the wild fruit Of the jungle,
and by the skill Of his wife in pottery
and other handicrafts. He has given
up cannibalism in Difference to Popu-
lar opinion, 1t is true, but In other
ways he still lives his life much as he
pleases, which is more than most of
as ever achieve.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
Not All So Harmless.

The part Of Father Christmas may
be easily overacted, as certain town
councillor would be the first to admit.
He had been asked to take part in the
annual treat to the old folk at the To-
cal workhouse. Made up as the an
cient gentleman beloved of the chill
dren, he went, and for a time his
pranks and antics delighted the COM
pany.
Then a scrap of conversation he
Glanced to Overhear scarcely added to
the worthy councillors enjoyment.
"Ain't e enjOyin' of 'hisself?" re-
marked one aged inmate to another.
"Wot a treat it is for the likes O. he !
But why can't they let all the loonies
out on a night like thisf
"Well," came the reply, ~mebbe
they amt all so harmless as this'n."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
EVOLUTION OF THE ALPHABET
II Grew From, Pictures BY Which Men
First Wrote and Required Ages
For lts Completion.

No one really knows all about where
the alphabet came from, because It
grew very slowly, like children and
every other good thing in the world.
But we know quite well that no In
genious man sat down and made the
alphabet, and we know quite well, too,
that the alphabet began as pictures.
Just as a child reads or takes things
in by pictures long before IL can read
letters, so men used to read and write
by pictures; and then these r. Tres
were gradually made simpler and sim
pier until at last they could be used
in every and any way, as our letters
can. We know that the letter o was
at first the picture Of an eye, and that
gradually men made the picture plain
er, until at last they drew an o. The
letter / was once a picture of a house
and very likely a capital A may have
been at first the picture of pyramid.
Ages and ages ago in Egypt men
used both kinds of writing, says the
Kansas City Star. The priests used
the oldest kind, which was the pic
lures. This was called the sacred
writing, in which the pictures were
turned into letters. Not very many
years ago men tried in vain to read
the old sacred picture writing Of the
Egyptians, but they could not. Then
they found the wonderful Rosetta
stone, and this had written upon it
the same thing three times-once in
the pictures and once in the letters,
and also once in other letters, and so
men got the key to picture writing,
and now it can be read easily.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
MAKING NAVIGATION SAFE. !

'NhSSS-- -.ss.h,--. q
The completeness with which the
army engineers are robbing the Mis-
sissippi of its terrors is shown by the
complaint of ''Uncle" MemfOrd, one
of Mark Twain's river friends:
! "When there used to be 1000
steamboats, and 10000 acres of coal
barges and RATS and trading scows,
there wasn't lantern from st. Paul
to New Orleans and the snags were
thicker than bristles on a hogs back;
and now, when there's three dozen
steamboats, and navy bafges and
RATS, the government has snatched
out all of the snags and lit up the
shores like Broadway and 9 bOatS
as safe as she would be in heaven. "
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
NationIs Defense.

The wealth of a nation must be de-
Tended as well as constructed.
Even if the days Of absolute conquest
are past, there are yet a thousand
liabilities to violent encroachment on
the honor and rights Of a people which
they cannot be passive under without
sacrificing a national spirit and we'll
nigh dissolving the bonds of govern
ment itself. But where lies the
strength Of a nations defense? In
such things as money purchases
ships, Notifications and magazines of
war? No. The real public bulwarks
or a nation are public love,
wisdom, and high command, attach
ment TO home aad bravery.-Horace
Bushnell.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
OLD CUSTOMS ARE RETAINED
Some Scottish and Welsh ReolnentS
Keep Up Curious Ceremonies on
Certain Anniversaries. Il,

On anniversaries and special occa-
sions most Scottish regiments keep
up a curious custom called kissing
the quaich." This is a shallow cup
with two handles, which, toward the
end of the dinner, is handed to each
officer in turn full Of liquor. Custom
DEGREES that the vessel must be
drained at a gulp, after which the
holder twists it upside down and
kisses the bottom to show that it is
empty.
In Welsh regiments, on st. Da-.
vid's day, every subaltern who has
Joined since the last anniversary has
to "pass the leek" that evening all
mess. That is to say, he eats one Of
these not too nice smelling vegetables
raw, while the regimental drummers
sound a fanfare, and his brother Of
fcers cheer him ironically. Some few
regiments still keep up the custom of
placing on the mess table at dinner
the regents wine," as it is called,
one bottle of port and sherry. This
is a legacy from George ", who,
when he was regent, decreed that
every regiment should have two bot
ties of wine to drink his health at
his expense. In most corps nowadays,
however, the money is credited to
the general mess fund.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
NIaht Owls Are SAT-.

A celebrated scientist, who has made
a lifelong study Of different forms OF
bacteria, recently made the interesting
announcement that there are more
microbes in the air at nine o'clock in
the morning and at nine O'Clock at
night than during any other periods
Of the day. He says that he has also
discovered that the percentage of NIL
crobes in the atmosphere is less at
three o'clock in the morning and at
three O'clock IN the afternoon than at
any other times.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
Be Outlet.

"Study TO be quiet"-that is, study
to dismiss all hustle and worry out of
your inward life. Study also to do
your own business" and do not try TO
do the business of other people. A
great deal Of "creaturely activity" is
extended in trying TO do other peoples
business. 1t is often hard 10 "sit still"
when we see our friends, according to
our ideas, mlsmanaging matters, and
making such dreadful blunders. But
the divine order. as 1t is also the best
human order as well, is for each one OF
as to do our own business, and to re-
frain from meddling with the busi-
ness Of anyone else.-r Exchange.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
A NOM DE PLUME.

$50 you are an author and wrote
this book, Mr.. Hogg? Then why is
the authors name Steve Sty?"
"0h that's my pen name."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
IN THE FAR SUBURBS.

$50 your new cook came this afts
ernoon. Do you think you can keep
her long?"
"Well, she can't get any train back
now until tomorrow morning"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
FITTING IN.

"Those politicians seem inclined
to use circus methods"
"No wonder; don't you see they
are peanut politicians?"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
HoNEsTVs IDEA.

"Do you believe honesty pays'''
"Most assuredly; though l will adj
nit that it is very modest in its idea
of compensation"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
DOUBLE TROUBLE.

'Busy days for my wife" FfHF
GLOW sop '7T1@
"Has to keep her white shoes pow.
dered as well as her face"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
NOTHING NEW.

care those jars you are putting
your preserves in, sterilized ones,
Mrs. Jay?"
"Oh, no; just common glass"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
NEVER TOO OLD.

Miss Plain-Ma says Pm too
young to marry.
Miss Pert-Well, you won't be by
the time you get a proposal,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
NOT BY ITS UMPIRE. I

Dorothy-What is meant by steal.
ing base?
Henry-Why, it's a sort Of dis4
nond robbery. .AJ&l,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
INoRATITUDE.

"She married him because he
aved her life"
swell, l always said she had a
piteful disposition"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-01
a woMAN's VIEW,

He-It is hard to ask for bread
and get stonei 0sS Wv
Shelf is worse to ask for q stone
and get paste.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12
ITALIAN is PATRIOTIC

The following notice has been pub.
and a copy has been received by the
state council Of defense.
The writer is an Italian, and his no
tice to the public proves his patriot
ism:
1--WE must thank God above all
things, my dear people. He had blessed
our flag to be mother of all nations of
the earth. Our president, Wilson, he
feels strong like lion. God save him
and give him long life.
1--WE must get together and help the
dag by given little means, the best we
can, to help to carry on this monster
war Every man living in this coun-
try should donate $1.O0 as it takes %
to 100 of US to support one soldier, one
doctor and one red cross. We must
give the soldiers all they need and
plenty of everything. They will fight
like lions, and God bless them. We
don't want the enemy to get us, but
we want to get them! Amen! Amen!
"NOTICE-To everyone owing me
to come and pay me what you can or
bring me anything in the junk line or
anything you have to sell and l will
donate it to the war fund. If you fail
to do so l will donate this to the sher-
lff to make you pay up, including all
costs. Come in like good people, the
nation needs every cent.
NOTICE TO every merchant and
professional men to save all scrap pa
per, newspapers, books, magazines
and everything in che junk line. The
country needs this.
Have a box or sack to put 1t in.
Call me up and l will come and get it
and pay you the best can. God bless
| I'll of you. Amen! Amen!
EUGENE NICOLO BUZZELLL
Cumberland Was
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12

doing enough in risking their own
lives for the safety and happiness
of the nation.
1t may seem that there is not q
very close connection between a
fathers fighting in Europe and his
baby's living here, but there is. A
reduced family income affects the
baby seriously, especially in high
cost of-liying market. 1t may mean
the substitution of cheap, low
grade of milk for pure milk. In one
instance l know of, this killed a
baby last summer when our men
were only so far away as the Next
can border.
The efficiency of fighting men,
furthermore, is affected by whether
their minds are harassed or at peace
concerning the health and welfare
of their families back home. This
fact has been emphasized by Cap
tain Cathro, U. S. Army, W b o
speaks not on theory but on the
authority ave er soldier.
Doubtless, there would have been a
far larger number of volunteers had
not many an otherwise willing sol
dier been deferred from enlisting by
question of the health and help of
his wife and children.
Another reason more remote but
no less patriotic, was voiced by
John Burns when he said Give me
intelligent motherhood and good
parental conditions, and I have no
doubt of the future of this or any
other nation" Patriotim, humani
tY, love for babies and sense of
fair play, all combine to compel US
not to lose sight of the lives and
welfare Of our babies at home while
we are driving with every ounce of
our power for the babies and peO-
pie of Belgium and France.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12

In the just TRADE against the ex-
preston of Germsn-American senti-
ment that shows favoritism toward
our national enemy, there should not
intrude feeling of distrust toward
every American Of German birth,
for in that class of people are num-
bered some of Uncle Sans most
staunch supporters. Their loyalty
is even greater than that Of many
native Americans, for in spite Of the
fact that their fondest reminiscenc-
es Of childhood days centersin scenes
along the Rhine, they are now will
ing to take up arms andfight against
the once beloved Fatherland and IN
the cause advocated by their adopt
ed country.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12
FARMERS WIFE
WRITES LETTER
TELLS HOW CITY PEOPLE CAN
AID IN INCREASING THE
SUPPLY OF FOOD.
DON'T SPONGE ON OTHERS
Says ThoughtIess Folk Make Unneces-
sary Work for Their Friends
In the Country Who
Are Busy.

Madison, visa farmers wife has
suggested way in which Wisconsin
people can help cut down the cost Of
living and thus help fight the war
1t consists merely in being thought
!ul of others.
In letter to Mrs. H. H. Morgan,
The woman member of the State Coun-
I'll of Defense, this housewife says:
Dear Madam:
"At your meetings of the Council
Of Defense, and from now on will you
kindly make a plea for the conserva-
ton of the farmers wife's strength
and time.
The government is calling upon her
10 plant gardens, can, dry, preserve,
ETC., all of which she is most willing
to do if she has the time and strength.
The government is doing great deal
to give her information, etc., but she
must have one thing more-a procla-
nation or else newspaper or magazine
publicity bringing before city people
the need for her to have her Sundays
for rest or recreation after her hard
weeks work instead of spending it
waiting on endless crowds who come
In a never-ending procession Sunday
after Sunday since the automobile has
come into general use.
1.-THE fact that she really loses two
days each week which she might be
using to help the government this
summer ought to bring this practice
into bad repute. Saturdays are spent
In extra baking, cooking, etc., and if
she is not too tired to work at all.
Mondays are spent in replenishing the
empty larder, washing table-linen,
Strengthening disordered house, etc.,
caused by the Sunday crowds.
"If you can give the farmers wife's
plea sufficient publicity, many thought
less people will cease burdening their
tired country friends and you will be
doing her the greatest service that
has ever been done.
obviously, this is delicate subject
for the farmers wife to plead for her
self, and if she only did defend herself,
it would not help the millions of other
farm women who suffer likewise, SO
we have appealed to the heads of the
Council Of Defense to defend us from
our friends-real or make believe
this busy summer, unless they bring
their lunches.
"It surely is unpatriotic and should
be made unpopular through the press
for them to so burden us when we are
doing all this extra work in answer
to the Nations call so the city peO-
pie will have food this coming winter
and so sorely need the time and
strength instead of squandering it SO
needlessly.
eve would enjoy having people
come when we specially invite them,
of course, but we like to feel that we
will not be interrupted by two or three
more automobile loads Of folks who
wanted to go Somewhere in the
country to spend the day"
IF you have any doubt Of the truth
Of this, ask any farmers wife or take
trip through the country on Sunday
and see the crowds at every farm
home and count the loss to the Ma
ton. Thanking you in advance, /
shall watch for the result in the pa
per-"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12

Loafing is vagrancy, and vagran-
cy is punishable by imprisonment in
the county jail. This fact is verv apt
to be brought into prominence in
war economy campaigns of the State
Council of Defense. The Huber va
grancy law provides that Migrants
confined in the county jails shall be
required to perform manual labor,
providing that prisoner is over 10
years of age and physically able to
work. 1t is very probable that soon
there will be a general roundup OF
loafers, whose terms Of sentence
will be spent in useful employment
under supervision Of the Sheriff S
office. Any able-bodied man who is
continually unemployed is a vagrant
and can be made to work.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12
Soldiers Babies

Our present state of war does not
warrent any relaxation of interest
in the subject of infant welfare this
year. On the contrary, we owe it to
the fathers, who, as volunteers and
conscripts, must be away from home
TO do our part in saving their bab-
les lives. Those brave fellows are
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12

BAPTIST CHURCH
10:00-Sunday school.
11:OO-Regular preaching service.
6:30-B. Y. P. U.
SWEDISH MISSION
Service in Mann Valley church at
1880. In the City church at 7:30.
Wednesday evening 1880 prayer
meeting.
All Scandinavians cordially in
F. N. FRIBERG, Pastor.
METHODIST CHURCH
10:0O-Sunday school
Preaching service
12:00-Class meeting.
7:00-Epworth league.
8:00-Preaching service.
A cordial invitation to all.
G. A. Bird, Pastor.
CONGREGATIONAL NOTES
1O:30-Morning service. ct h e
Clod." deals wirh fundamentals in
culture.
Sunday school Immediately fol-
lowing the morning, service at 11:45.
7:0O-Vesper service in charge of
c. E. Society, on the mound, post
poned from last week Leader Mr.
Serl.
Midweek service Wednesday, 1850
p. m.
A cordial welcome to all.
ELMER WILLIS SERL. Pastor.
Phone your news items to the
Journal. phone No. 20.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1917-07-12

For SALE-A new 7-room house
in Buena Vista addition. House was
built last Fall. is complete in every
detail and up to date in all respects.
Size 28x28, oak finish, oak floors,
fire place, worktables and cupboards
If in the market for a GOOD home
mere is one ready for you at price
less than it would cost to build.
OSCAR j. WEBERG