Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1917-02-18
A Leak Breakfast.

One of the skits was an imaginary
breakfast at the "Guiltmore Hotel" in
New York city, attended by equally
imaginary personages of note. who
were addressed by their host, one Bar
ney Brooks" the whole having refer
ence to one of the exploded canards OF
the period prior to the Teak" investl-
CATION.
After the guests" had been seated,
in pantomine, their host addressed
them Good morning, Mr. Lansing.
All, delighted Mr.. McAdoo. And how
60 wou do. Mr.. Tumulty. Charmed TO
have YOU, Senator o. And Count Won
Bernstorff, it was fine Of you to come.
You do me honor, and thank you from
the bottom Of my heart.
Now we are all here, l think. and
we may as well be seated. on, beg
perdon, here's belated guest. oh,
that's all right, Mr.. Wood. No apology
necessary You are in plenty of time.
Gentlemen, allow me to present Mr.
Wood of Indiana. / vouch for him as
gentlman and a scholar. man OF
stainless honor and very discreet. Very
discreet, indeed, 1 assure you. Gentle
men, pray be seated.
And, now, gentlement, to business
while the waiter is out. All, thank you:
Mr.. Lansing. So this is the peace
ate and House approve. Very good.
Isn't it delightful to have such fine
friends Most interesting. Very wen
phrased. Splendidly written. Mr. Lam
sing. 1 don't want to flatter you. but
you have facile pen. You should nave
gone in for literature.
pardon me a moment he said. pick
ing up a telephone. This is Barney
Brooks I want my office. Hello. this
is Barney Brooks. Yes. ! am at the
Ciuiltmore having breakfast with a
party of friends from Washington, and
FIJI be late in reaching the Office. When
the market opens sell for the X Y q &C
count 10000. 100000 shares of Bethle-
hem Steel, 5,OOo.oo0.o00 shares of Mer-
of u S. Stone. Get it? Yes, very good,
Every simple. gentlemen, when you
know how to do 1t. How much Will
that make? Oh, that's hard to say, but
feel safe in assuring you that it will
not be less than eighty or ninety mill
lion apiece I will mail the checks to-
morrow. What's that, Mr.. McAdoo? To
the Riggs Bank? Very. we'll"
Minstrels Hold Stage.
A conversation between two min
strel men furnished a vehicle for some
comments upon prominent men pres
ont at the dinner Said "Tambo" to
Mr.. Bones:
st want to see the machinery Oh gov
eminent in operation.
"Take green car and get on at the
White House"
President lives"
his homes up at the Capitol, mostly,
but he still keeps apartments at the
White House"
WHATS the matter with the gov
eminent now, anyhow?
Nothing; he's WELL
whats that you've got in your
hand?"
of the Christian Advocate"
docs Uncle Joe read the Christian
Advocate?
every day, religiously. He's trying
to get a collection of new cloakroom
stories to tell when Miss Jeanette Ran
kin comes to Congress. Say. wonder
If the congressman will be glad to see
Miss Rankin in the House,"
Yes: but they won't let their" wives
know it."
O1d-Time Melodrama.
A melodrama, of the old "Jim the
Penman" and "Silver King" style
brought down to date. was presented
There were the appropriate characters
the prosecuted heroine. the villain. with
waxed mustache and scornful way OF
shipping the ashes from his segar; the
mysterious man, the hero, the adven.
turess to weave her spell, the faithful
servant, the lawyer, the old family
friend with the papers" and the po-
liceman.
The heroine came sobbing upon the
stage, complaining that the other girls
wouldn't play with her because she die
not know her fathers name; she was
called administration Leak.
"Ahaw quoth the villain-'Barney
Lawson" by name-and he Missed; "Ad,
ministration Leak! At last I have found
her; and now that I have found her she
shall be mine forever. Administration
Addie, may I call you Addie?-cry nc
more. I have loved you, girl; yea, since
margins have existed, have worshipeo
you. Fly with me. We will sell the mar
ket short, and every luxury In the WORLD
| shall be thine. The pearls OF the orient
shall girdle your neck. You shall have
eggs for breakfast every day in the week
All that money can buy shall be thrown
at your feet If you will but say the word
Refuse me, and you shall feel the curse
Of me vengeance. Speak quick-I near
| quickly-guryl for I hear footsteps APP
| preaching"
ooh; it is cruel of you to insult help
| less and friendless girl like me-" walled
| the heroine. II may be waif, but an
not awanton. To an honest guryl orienta
pearls is no recompense for unclear
| heart And rags is royal raiment wher