New Britain herald., 1917-02-26
News For 7heater8oerS and Women Readers
REVELATIONS OF A WIFE
MadSc and Dicky Face It Together.
By ADELE GARRISON


 When I married Dicl<y I did not think the time would ever come when l would look him in the face and tell him d deliberate falsehood. But at his question: Do you wish mo to re- main with you, or would you rather be alone for while?" I answered quickly, "Oh! l could not let you go, Dicky!" when all the time it seemed to mo I could not bear any human presence near me until l had time to realize the awful tidings of Jack Bickett's death.
 But the look on my husbands face, when l had awakened from the swoon which the news that my brother cousin was reported killed had caused, had warned me that on my own actions at this crisis might depend the future happiness of Dicky and me. Always insanely jealous of Jack Bickett living, I was afraid that he be- liever me to be in love With my brother-cousin, a belief that would, of course, be fostered by my fainting at the news of his death. l must do nothing which would in any way strengthen that belief. So I uttered the untruth bravely and plausibly
 Across Dicky's face shot a look 'of relief. He put out his hand and clasped mine, and said softly.
 "Try to sleep a little, can you not?"
 "Not yet, Dicky," I returned. 1T am feeling much better, however. Of course, the shock was terrible at first, for as you know, Jack was the only brother I ever knew. But I am all right now, and I want you to tell me how you learned the news.''
 Mrs. Stewart telephoned to me-" he said. Ut seems your cousin gave her as the next of kin to be notified in case of his death, and she received the notice this morning.. There was nothing but the usual official notifica- tion."
 I caught my breath, stifling the moan that rose to my lips. Some where in France lay buried the ten- derest heart, the manifest man God ever put into the world. And I had sent him to his death! Despite the comforting assurance Jack had writ ten me just before his departure for France that his discovery of my mar riage with the consequent blasting of the hope he had cherished for years had not been the cause of his sailing, I knew he would never have left me if I had not been married.
 ''Cry It All Out.'
 I think Dicky must have read. my thoughts in my face after a mo- 1nent he said gently, yet with a tense ness which told me he was putting a rigid control over his voice:
 "You must not blame yourself so harshly. Your cousin would probably have gone to the war even if - - circumstances had been different There was than in Dacky's voice and eyes which told me that he, too, was suffering I gathered by strength to- gether made a supreme effort to put the sorrow and remorse I felt behind me until could be alone. I knew that I must strive at once to eradicate the false impression my husband had gained as result of my reception ot the news of my brother-cousin's death.
 So I forced my lips to words which, while not utterly false, yet did not at all reveal the truth of what l was feeling.
 "I know that. Dicky,' l returned, and I tried to hold my voice to con- versation tone He went with his dearest friend, a Frenchman, you know. I had nothing to do with ms going. It isn't that which makes me feel as I do. It is because ms death brings back my mothers so plainly He was always so good to her and she loved him so much.
 Dicky bent his face so quickly to mine that I could not catch his ex- nression. He kissed me tenderly, and, kneeling down by<the side of the bed, gathered my head up against his shoulder.
 "Crv it all out sweetheart he said, and I fancied the tension was gone from his voice. Tt will do you good"
 So, "cry it out" I did, against the blessed shelter of my husbands shoul- der And the tears seemed to wash away all the shock of the news I had heard, all the bitter. morbid remorse l had felt, all the secret wonder as to whether l might have loved and mar ried my brother-cousin if Dicky had not come into my life. There was left only a sane, sisterly sorrow for a loved brothers death, and a tremen dous surge of love for my husband, and gratitude for his tenderness.