The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-26
THE HUM OF
THE HUMDUGS
Catalogue House System or.
spring Of Hunbuggey.

On certain occasion some boys
thought they would play trick on
the great naturalist. Darwin.
They caught beetle. glued various
parts OF other insects upon its head
and body. placed Il Ia a little box and
humbIy knocked NJ Darwin's door.
seeking to know what the great scien.
tist would call tbis wonderful bug they
had assembled.
Mr. Darwin looked Il over very crit.
icnliy aud asked the boys very serious.
". Did this bug hum when you
caught ity' Yes. sir: II hummed a
great deaf" replied the boys. with sly
winks at each other.
Then this must be a humbug." said
Darwin.
IL IN suplsosed thnt Satan was the
original hum bug. but since the mall or.
der houses have been established he
has had To take y back seat, and
among 40 many modern improvements
he must feel dreadfully useless and
antiquated
Love 20 BE Humbusgsd.
That the .Amcrlcan people love 10 be
humbuggcd long since has passed into
proserb Trickery may be called
our national vice. our besettlng sin
Like liberty. II apicSrs TO be In the
very air we breathe. We take TO II as
naturally rs We do ta politics. Our
entire social system has become satu.
rated With H. Even al times Il mas.
querades under the mantle or charity.
which. like well nlled purse. covers a
multitude OF sins
There are various kinds aud classes
OF fakers and tricksters. but the
princes OF them all. the incarnations
OF fraud. are the advertising humbugs
who, when stripped OF the sugar coat.
Ing by which they Impose upon the
public. are simply professors OF false.
hood.
Would Strike Liars Dead.
The ancient scribes tell Us that the |
lord once attempted to check the
hombug habit by striking the liars
dead. but when be looked into the
future aud saw the huge catalogue \
houses looming IN the distance he
reluctantly relinqulshed the idea as he
saw that such plan In the congested
eenters would prove more fatal than q
second 0Ood
The mall order houses word their nd.
vertising 80 as 10 appeal 10 the credu.
iity and weakness OF human nature.
as Il Is generally known that every
son OF Adam and daughter OF Eve pos.
sesses disposition TO resort to games
OF chance. an inclination 20 get some
thing for nothing
Possess the Gambling Instinct.
A noted gambler once said: Life
consists In taking chances. Providence
mas insulled Into the bralna ana hearts
u men the betting Instinct" SO when
ne mall ORDER houses came into exist-
spee they at once opened up an avenue
Tor the development or humanity's
vel known weaknesses desire Tor
20 milling. f.s.ar-
AS the catalogue houses passed from /.
ne elementary aud experimental stage.
= mat OF permanent and pronounced .
eaiity the gambling instinct OF the
onsumer kept pace with the humbug's
'r0gress.
1hs consumers read the bewltchlng
ireulars describing the many wondas, :
VI bargains; they fumbled the pages .
the huge catalogue Ia bewilderIng
The angel OF doubt hover
y near whispered warnings 10 the
'sciuaied buyer. but the god OF chance
rs beekouins from The distance. and
'e order was sent forward.
Cheap. Flimsy ~ssoonds.~
Tue advertising huufeog's advertise
ents and Catalogues depicf his eood.
something marvellous. Bedsteads
ans tables. coueaes. picture frames .
a'e's. ete-' which appear TO be mas.
.e handsomely carved pieces of >
'fA' are nothing but cheap. 0,m~v
,eonds when delivered. aud tha hr,v.
= often ashamed TO cart them ham,
INC aayume. but waits for the dark.
!. = ~ night TO east its mantle over
J, the gambling instinct Is
ueep.y sci II the natures OF some
'soinefs that one evidence AZ 49,
'Nery " the advertising hnmn,.
!. ...elenl @ and they again indulge W
!. p1s''oii for gsmbliag By fakins ! tin
'.'''e With another order apd aee,n
uns imposed upon. and 80 Oh "a ~