The Butler weekly times., 1917-08-16

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mean a political machine. speak
of the Linotype. It's one of the
craziest +tookin' and the most perfect
.workin things ever see and me,
we'll now, I've been around some, !
can tell .ye. If the feller' who in
vented it amt in the insanity asy-
lum or in home for the feeble mind
ed feel sorry for him for he is sure
headed in that direction. One piece
of this almost human machine at
tracted my attention. 1t is a spiral
or endless screw which distributes
the type. 1t looks to be goin'' away
from there all the time, but it don't.
BY golly, ! just thought how much
some folks are like this piece of ma
chinery, always maxim big show,
but not gettin' anywhere. Possibly
this thought wouldn't have suggested
itself to anyone else, but you see I'm
different.
A person told me the other day
that if he hadn't known me so long,
he would think l sometimes tell a
lie. / just asked him, if he didn't
know that l had joined liars club.
He said yes. In that article also
said that | wouldn't tell a lie unless
it was benevolent one and would
do somebody some good. ! think he
referred to a recent issue in which l
spoke of the old man who wore the
beads. Now the point in, that par
ticular item was this. ! think it is
a good thing for everyone to oc-
casionally take bath. Don't wait
until you are dead to be cleaned up.
Hard to tell what they might find on
some OF us. Read between the lines.
Get the idea?
Seems to me its about time for
Bradstreet and Dun to ask Kaiser
Bill for financial statement, yes.
Faith is the substance of things
hoped for-the evidence of things not
seen $50 we are told). But how often
do folks who pray for rain take their
umbrellas along as an evidence OF
their faith. o, ye of little faith.
l have heard of family who use
paepr. for towels and napkins, etc.
Now that's not so worse. But l know
a family who will q fear) have to use
paper for some other clothes
as we'll and it looks like cold win
ter, too.
Why grow wrinkled and old. By
golly, l say what's the use. Don't
try to live in the past Memories OF
the past may (and do) help to keep
the heart young. Wrinkles and gray
hair will come. Yes, but the man or
woman of fifty who quits and sits
down will soon turn their toes to-
ward the daisies and right in life's
prime, too. Me? O, I'm just as
young as | used to be. Keep your
heart singing all the while. Make the
world bright with smile. You know
the rest Try it. once.
Here at last. No, l amt talkin' of
war. That's bad enough, but listen,
women are goin' to wear pants. Yes,
sir, real trousers, and they won't be
worn on the inside either. A Chi
cago firm is showing the new styles
now. just wonder what the men
will do when the women don the
pants (in public. Some of 'em have
worn them for some time at home. l
won't try to tell you, just wait and
see.
Last week the Linotype machine in
The Times office broke down, and
say, sore? Well, ! guess. l didn't
see anything to get het' up about
1t just looked to me like an accident.
But they said it wasn't. They told
me it worked all right till they got
to Sunbeams and the darned machine
just couldn't handle the job. l amt
hangin' out around there. Not safe.
If should have to go to war III
have lot of fun. I'm goin' to ayiate
UP in the air. If get shot at
Kaiser Bill the low down 'onery' Hun,
when the roll is called in France he
won't be there.
Miss Lowe. the modern Eve, who
has just finished weeks stay in the
woods, has come out of the brush.
She gained I-2 pound in weight, and
had good time (she says SOY. She
went in clothed only with a sunny
disposition and a smile. She came
out dressed in beautiful coat of tan,
profusely decorated with mosquito
bites. just what sort of a moral such
fool stunts as this is supposed to
teach is hard to see.
An anxious one wants to know how
to remove superfluous hair from the
body. I'll just say that the most ef-
fiective remover have used is a
razor. 1t shorezgets 'em.
A man said to me the other day:
"Jim, can you tell me why you are
like the Amazon river?" "Ha," says
l, that's dead easy. It's because Pm
90 fresh" "No," alright, tell me"
"Why," said he, "Its because you
have bigh mouth and it's always
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