The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-09-27
AN Good Morning,
HN Human Interest Stories Of
w Police Court Happenings.
Out Againy In Agsin.

Out Again, In Agsin.
He had just come out OF jail. For
thirty long days he hadn't touched
a drop.
He had a thirst on him as long as
the Eastern battle front. And only
one more month bcforeN swig of
Sin would be as tor away as victory
for the Kalse:
Jim Alters. aimed to make
up for lost tin, future drought.
When PolicemI.. IS saw him he
was holding up re.
And when the cop volunteered TO
help him hold the tree. Jim resented
it and hit the cop on the Jaw.
Now IL fellows like Jim are going
to be permitted to beat up the police
force. we will have to build additions
to the hospitals. Its too horrible to
contemplate.
And its really not much use to fine
man like Jim $50, because as he
Just got out Of the coop. he's not
likely to have thirty cents.
Sympathy.
ledge, Ah'se sorry nah beau beat
me up. it hurt him as much as 1t did
me-"
Yes. I guess so, but hardly in the
same place." said the Judge.
Ed Robinson. a great big strapping
man had bounced on little eighty
l eight pound Laura Dixon. He was
| only demonstrating his love for her.
Laura understood 1t that way, so
she said. II he didn't almost kill her
once in awhile. she thought she was
being neglected.
The court failed to understand why
Laura wanted him turned loose so
he could whip her again.
The workings OF the feminine mind
are entirely too complex for even a
judge to understand.
| And so Ed got thirty days. just for
luck. and the court admonished him
to think up a better way Of being
/ affectionate.
Can You Blame Herf
Nah husband beat me. ledge, cause
All wouldn't kiss him. He was drunk
an All doesn't like to smell liquor or
/ taste 1t. elder"
II don't blame you." said the court
NO respectable woman would kiss
drunkard."
"Ah supports nah wife, ledge"
chimed in Elijah Lomax.
Il know. but that dosen't Civ you
license to beat UP a little woman
like that, does it," No answer from
Elijah.
When Elijah goes on a toot II lasts
about three weeks. during which time
he makes life as miserable for his
wife as he possibly can.
He puts her out in the street,
bruises her up, kicks her and treats
her something terrible and still she
loves him. How strange. Goodness
gracious alive.
Verona Lomax would make a fine
example for the women and children
of Belgium. She sure would.
However, the very next time Elijah
is brought into court for hitting his
wife, he's going down for ninety days.
and there are no ravens down there,
/ either. Never more" for Elijah.
"KuItur, and "SeIf Defense"
Tom Martin works for the Kaisr
He was on the job until a cop nabbed
him in the park.
A soldier was peacefully browsing
on a bench. "Ah ha, dere's one man
wot won't go to de trenches to fight
de soldiers of de All Highest"
The soldier. Bill Zantell, had one eve
| opened and grabbed the arm of the
dark-complexioned Hun. just like they
do in the movies"
| He saved his own life and cap
! tured an I. W. W.
The weapon Tom was to have used
was manicure file, fine. long and
/ sharp.
Strangely enough a cop was near.
| lie saw the dastardly deed. He rush
/ cd up and arrested Tom.
He told the court he was ashamed
of himself. He would never attempt
to cripple the fighting forces of the
| L. S. again.
And so instead OF facing the firing
squad Tom was fined $40.