davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A journalistic Nightmare.

One night I dreamed the sun rose on
A day that none could censure;
perfect day! No scandal and
No cU"vDh"e's "dventure:
No railroad accidents occurred,
80 nd. de- was committed.
No jury probed unwritten laws,
No millionaries remitted.
No rich mans wife took leave of him
NO poor mans home got triplets,
No Standard Oil excuses came,
No candidates told fiblets;
"At last" / cried THE perfect day;
A journalistic hey-dey;
But one thing could improve on it
And that If 1t were payday"
donned my togs and went to work
AS is my daily caper;
The edit gruffly said: Go home!
Today there'll be no paper
Buffalo Evening News.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
StrafInE the Wcnthcr.

Some guy remarked the other day that
he could remember when the month Of
May was a summer month. And now
comes the consoling news that this
weather is just fine for the wheat crop
But-where do we get of? The boys who
sell panama hats, Palm Beach suits. sum-
mer underwear and soda water they
don't care hang for the wheat crop or
past memories
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
Georgia Talks Back.

An Ohio paper rather boastfulIy re-
marks that in that State lady con-
vtcts are guarded by lady guards.
$ all right, OF course, but down here
so few ladies go to the penitentIary
that the matter of guarding them
doesn't excite much attention one way
or another.-Macon Telegraph.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
DID You Know That

In Virginia it's against the Law for a
bullfrog to holier "Jug-o-Rum "
1t takes 100 tons OF water to feed an
arce OF crops. Better have a few empty
tomato cans handy
Some day We are going to have warm
weather?
Every little hivver has a rattle all its
own.
Herring Hill in Georgetown did not
get its name from the bony peopIs
living there?
Catfish never chase wharf rats?
Goosebbrries do not have feath-
ers7
II you left your front door oper
the burglar wouldn't have to climb
in the window and mess up your lace
curtains?
II our allies keep the pace, by the time
Santa Claus visits this fiery planet again.
the trenches will be in the back yards Of
the Germans.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
Reason for Pr,ce.

Ihis years crop Of wheat Is different
ttoIh . every other crop. Every kernel has
s~o niue ridges growing on each side
OF 1t. Very soon, as soon as they take
these kernels to market, these listle
rIoses bust open and a little pair OF
WINES spread forth and away It flies and
ana nave you noticed that they always
ny upwards. That is why they call 81
a rising market. When wheat scars, we
get sore. and then bored, but pay the
price.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A REG'LAR GUY.
ed ID be a u lar guy.

/ tried to be a reg lar guy,
] hit the spots. an hit 'em high;
Ny arches were high: both bent up far,
From resting on the brassy bar.
] saw the shows an knew the girls,
7 saved up near a hundred Curls.
Each light knew me, an knew me well;
I had a scat reserved in He'll.
T spent my dough, an made name
had what's known by some as fam
NV limit went above the sky,
l tried to be a reg'lsr guy.
But now I am a lar guy.
I know what's who, an where. and " ny
] work an read. an save the cash;
I've quit the squads, an eat the hash
The lives Of great men all had taught
That / wasn't being what I ought.
I found that thinking turned the trick:
To beat the world, you've got to stick.
An now ambition fills my heart.
I know amt; but will be smart
A little girls the reason why,
That now am a reg'lar guy.
HAROLD B. NORWOOD.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

Perhaps if the leading figures in
murder trials would follow the Bible
more closely, it would not be neces-
sary to quote the Scriptures so ex-
tensively.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A Doubling Texan,

The ladies who declare they will
serve their country by working in
the fields will be able to save their
complications. but it Will come pretty
hard for many of them to learn how
to cuss a mule Observation-Disclosures
Post.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

Henry Lane Wilson wins a moral
victory by his 6-cent verdict against
Norman Hapgood, former editor OF
Harpers Weekly, whom he sued for
libel, because Of an allegation he had
preliminary notice OF the intended
assassination Of Madero. The ques-
ton IS which litigatant is saying, "it
was worth it."
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

The United States Chamber Of
Commerce is premature in clubbing
near-beer in the list of luxnries that
should bear a war tax. So far as
Washington is concerned, near-beer
will not come into its own until No
vember ?.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

OF course there will be many of
our best citizens who will protest a
lax Of 1913 per cent on incomes
over 100000 annually, but there are
millions OF others who say they
would be willing to pay the tax if
they had the income.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

OF course the baseball magnstes
are growing over that 10 per cent
tax on gross profits. Now, they can
realize how the average fan feels
when they place that 100 per cent tax
on followers of the sport who like
to see the world series.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

A potato in the market basket is
worth ten in the ground today, but
nobody can say what those ten in
the ground will be worth in few
months, If the war continues.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

YOUR SHARE
This world of ours is like a spendid cake
With plums and other good things rich
and rare,
Inviting all OF US who would partake
To show that we're entitled to our
share.
Too much OF It will indigestion breed
And here's a bit of mighty good advice:
Don't try to grab it all. but let your
greed
Be satisfied with just a proper slice.
CCopynSht. lsIJ
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

Pennies are very handy things, as
no doubt you have realized if you
have patronized those quiek-luneh
restaurants that have jumped the
price of sandwiches and pie to 2
cents,
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
Gabe Harkins SeE.

IF theirs ennything worssen wearin'
straw hats and overcoats ct TIL same
time. it's not in the weather mans dick
shunery."
a-Crow Society to save their corn
crops.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
They should Worry About Sumba-
rtnes in Kentucky

At last Saturdays Grange debate,
(which Is the More Dangerous, a Sub
marine or a Flying Machineo" the 1y-
ing machine side won, although the
judges said the submarine side made the
best speeches.-Lamontville CKyD Globe.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A ..SIIez" WIN Away. volunteer!

'Tis proud / am this very night,
Me heart is filed wild cheer,
For Uncle Sam is In the fight,
Wild both feet, divil a fear!
And I feel like I could shout wild Joy!
As around me neck is clinging,
Ne bold. red-headed Micky boy,
And this Is phat he's singing:
''T'il place me knapsack on me back,
AIe rife on me shoulder,
And I'll march away to de army, dad,
To be an American soldier,"
Now that's the stun I like to hear:
sure it's Irish through and through:
And a Mick will always volunteer
For the old Red. White. and Blue
Wid a shamrock underneath the flag
And rifle on his shoulder
Hell march away wld a biz OF a jag
To be an American soldieri
c. H. TTnbul.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
Social Life on a Kan.a. Farm.

wencil Lechnir helped Sam Boucher.
jr., haul hay last Thursday and spent
the evening with lady friend
Crawford County Press.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A Fish Story.

Once upon a time the Herr Editor Of
the Periscope went fishing with one Of
Georgetown's famous anglers named
Scott. The first crack out Of the box
he caught two pizen catfish at the same
time on the same line. He has never
caught anything since, not even the
measles.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

There may be German plots, but
fortunately the garden plots outnum-
Der them.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

Treason plots injure the government;
garden plots help it. Get busy! Dig.
plant and produce
WILLIAM r. WHIP.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
what Your order, Boysr
Did you know that

would you like a submarine highball
with chaser on the side?
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
raking a stitch in the Garden.

All farmers out our way are busy
with their spring sewing.-Caryville
(aIo) Palladium.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

DID you know that
Carranza Is still president of Mexico,
whether Villa likes it or not?
II you will have the water shut of in
your house all the water bugs and
reaches will ''strsfe" you and leave the
premises?
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
Behind the show window.


nexations." put forward IN Russia by
Socialists under German guidance, has
a large, philanthropic sound. like so
many phrases of German workmanship.
The sound dulls the ear to the meaning.
Such a phrase was 1.-THE freedom of the
seas" a singularly noble phrase. 1t
meant however, the unchecked ramp
ancy Of Germany mlitarism by the de-
struction or the curbfnC of the British
fleet. And mo inGcmnities, no anneXa-
tions." a phrase OF even sweeter sound,
means something far less beautiful
mo indemnities." Let us begin with
Belgium. If Belgium gets no indemnity,
she will have to build up with her own
money the house that Germany de-
stroyed It will cost just as much to
build the house again, whether Belgium
paws out of her own pocket or whether
Germany pays with an indemnity. There
fore mo indemnities," in the case of
Belgium, means that there will be an
indemnity, but that Belgium will pay it,
not Germany
But outside of Germany Socialists con-
cede that Belgium will be an exception.
There is, then, the case Of France. The
burned house of France will have to be
rebuilt; the only question is with whose
money. II France must rebuild with
her own money the house that Germany
burned down, not for military reasons
but wantonly, merely to destroy, then
the phrase mo indemnities" merely
means that the cost is transferred from
Germany's shoulders to Frances. For
It will take money to rebuild that house,
and II Germany does not pay the money
France will have to; II the incendiary
does not pay for the damage, the house
holder must.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

SPRING AND SUMNER RESORTS
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
What Leading Newspapers
Say on the War Situation
4 ThrIII-a-NInute.
buffalo Evening Nsws.)

Buffalo Evening NeWs)
When l first put this uniform on
said. as I looked IN the glass,
"'Tis one to million
That any civilian
My face and my form can surpass.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10

A thing that counted upon
When l first put this uniform on.
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
YOUR SHARE

By John Kendriek Bangs
The Washington herald., 1917-05-10
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR

fEss priutng nf EB originAi poem written ksIu
Tor rhs Washington HsrAh
Evening journal., 1917-06-01

tions which have been in Office In
recent years. Wilmington has ad-
vanced by leaps and bounds. If a
man who left this city ten years ago
should return tomorrow morning. he
would hardly know where ne was
when he returned here and the Re-
publican party has done it all.
Wilmington IS Overwhelmingly Re
publican. and II Is the duty OF every
Republican in the city TO stand by
tho candidates OF the party. I be-
lieye in the active man in politics, and
would preach that doctrine from the
housetops and in the homes OF the
people. if it were possible. that It is
the duty Of every man 10 take an ac-
tive part in politics. No Republican
form OF government can long endure
without a well-organized. progressive
political party which is willing at all
times to stand for its principles. and,
II necessary die for them. ! do not
like a passive Republican. and 7 have
no use whatever for a passive Demo
crat
1T is a great responsibility which
rests upon the shoulders Of every man
with an opportunity; a responsibility
to take advantage OF that opportunity
and to do all that is in his power to
get all Republicans in his community
to 20 TO the polls and vote; and. il
all will do that, that will be the end
OF this election. I wish to leave this
thought with you. that there never
was a time in the history OF Whining.
ton, when Republican administrations
were in power. that a Wilmingtoniar
away from home ever has had occa.
sion to be afraid TO claim his resi-
dence here"
Prolonged applause. and a rising
vote of thanks 10 Mr. Hilles for his
address. followed him as he took his
seat. He was followed by John T.
Lynn and George Benson. who made
brief though telling addresses.
Evening journal., 1917-06-01

They believe the United States to be
a victim Of the same sort Of psyche
logical influence which, after the
commission OF a sensational crime or
a suicide. often causes the incident
TO be initiated by others.
They call attention to the fact that
North Americans are accepting uni.
versal military service. food control
and other big changes in the interests
OF the national service. The Argentine
idea is that North America actually
want to suffer hardships and priya.
tions because other people are doing
So
That IS why Argentine Is rather
chilly toward the attitude North
America has taken.
Evening journal., 1917-06-01
ARCENTINES Think U. 5.
Wanted TO co TO war

BY The United Press
BUENOS AIRES. June 1.-The Ar
gentinc view is that the United States
is going TO war rather because she
has good excuse than because she
has a good reason The Areentines
who do think the United States had
an adequate reason are also Of the
opinion that this reason was not the
consideration which led her into war
II is generally their judgment that
the United states wanted to fight
Evening journal., 1917-06-01

coats or blankets in the coldest
weather. sometimes we worked on
roads within range OF our own guns
Our food was black bread, thin souy
and weak coffee. Bathing facilities
we're MI. We were driven to work
under penalty OF whippings. There
were no doctors and the sick had 70
toll as hard as any Of u.s.
Evening journal., 1917-06-01

treatment. They crossed many lines
Of enemy trenches in the escape
I'VE we're first imprisoned in a
chalk pit and then transferred to a
camp where there were already 600
British, French, Russians and Alge-
rians." said one. German officers
threatened TO shoot some prisoners
for refusing information We were
housed in leaky huts, without over
Evening journal., 1917-06-01
TRENCH TALES

BY The United Press.
WITH THE BRITISH ARMIES
AFlELD, June Three British Tom
mics, just escaped from a German
prison, told Of extraordinary bad
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

.-Miss Blanche MARYLAND, of the
Falls City, Nebraska, high school,
was at home, over Sunday with her
parents.
Come to our entertainment,
March II, at the City Hall, Forest
City, Mo. It's worth ten. dollars, but
we'll only charge 10 cents.
"a handsome little girl baby, Meta
Frances, was Dor INTO John Meek and
wife, Of st. !oeeph. March 9, 1917.
The many relatives and frisnds Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Meek In OREGON and
vicinity extend eensTatulationA :
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

DIR. Hess or International Stock
Tonic will tone up your work horses,
and get them In shape for the heavy
spring work. Sold only BY z. o.
Phillips.
Money b lIend q Yayms-Dee.
rover has option = pay part 9 - 6
principal q aAy dna HeGt 9besal
terms ever s9erdsd Can Wy1lo O.
phone 70 N Iests you HstAlAg. aaves
fHE Sis$oN LOAN Z IT'LL 90,
O6lcss over NodaWay Valley Bat,
xasyvilla xlaseayl
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

Mrs. F. L. Champion, Of Kansas
City, 10 visiting here, the guest Of
her mother, Mrs. Susan Russell, and
other relatives and friends.
Mat Massey and Yves Hodgin, Of
Clay township, were transacting bus
mess IN Oregon and vicinity, one day,
Tho ladies Of the Catholic church,
and q Holt county, win hold . Be-
saar the Afternoon and evening Of tn
18th Of March. at Tie City Hall, For.
ct City, No. a nice program win
b Esadsrsd and lunch sssvsd
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

dinner he was surprised to find that
the new car had lost some of its
paint. being badly scratched, The
turkey flock, led by the gobblcrs, evil
IDENTIFY resented the strange looking
intruder and had fallen upon II with
bill and claw.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

Death last wcck rcmovcd A,cbison
county's oldest citizen. state tho
died AZ his home near Wcsthor, ngcJ
100 yoars. / month and M dnvs IIo
was born in England in thn ve,r
1877, and cam, Cr,m Inn, cnnn,,y a.
an immigrant ia Iowa in I'M NOV.
ing TO Atchison county, Mo-. in iS5,
and residing there northumberland sincc
Wcstboro n Ccw vc,rs " nco Wv" anod ron
and another brother of aJy,"ceb n"n
is still living in The Wcs, "s'
-
A Fairfax man WIS using II ounn-
tity of boiling water IN tbaw o,,t n
pump, the other morning, when The
combination of steam md leo in The
AZURE rcysor. which discbar~od a
stream of hot water into bis face
burning him quite ser;onsly '"'''
-.
Wheat prospects are discussed in
the Tarkio Avalanche by H. s. Stew.
ems, an expcriencrd wheat grower of
that vicinity. II l. his hcIieS That
early.sown wbeat. that b.s not bnen
pastured, will no ali riaht I'm, that
all other Is probably kiiIed WV '""'
~
man and vito near Cora Is renoried
by the Milan Renublican' Robbers
entered the home of Robert Stephen
son, aged Of. made threats with n GUN
and searched the house, obtaining
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

w. H. and James Huiatt. Of the
Richland school district, Clay town.
ship, were attending 70 probate bpsi-
ness IN Oregon. Monday Of this week.
On account Of siclmess, Mas
Kate Green, teacher Of the Monarch
district did not teach Monday Of this
week. but % now able TO take charge
again.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

farm, and prepared and served By the
students under the direction of the
domestic science department.
a Maryvillc feed and milling com.
pany. which has made n practice Of
giving one.tenth Of its net earnings
to the church has adopted some
what, different plan with the opening
of the present year. The same por-
tion Of their profits IL expended for
books on Sunday school work and
these are placed in the public library.
where all may have access to them.
Realty sales recorded at Maryville
during the week ending March 3
reached a total Of S32o.O0O.
Maryvillc will retain the Fourth
Regiment Band. and provide the re.
quircd quota of its support. according
to decision reached by recent
meeting Of the business men Of that
place. Contributions amounting to
$1,000 year are required and nearly
half Of this has been subscribed.
Milan last week passed general
sewer ordinance and with the open
ing of spring will install n complete
sewer system and greatly extend the
service lines of its present water
works system.
The Ford Of travelling junk dealer
went up in smoke at Bethany last
week. The gasoline tank was being
filled nj local garage with the en-
ginc running. The engine back-fircd
and in moment the ear was covered
with flames.
The city Of Bethany. last week.
bought n 1924 horse power tractor
to be- used in grading and dragging
the streets. The Republican declares
that Bethany no longer will submit
10 being told that the roads are much
better in the country than they are
IN town.
Fred Libby. who has recently won
fame by his exploits in the aviation
service of The French army. winning
n medal for having brought down ten
enemy acroplancs. Is u son Of the late
Col. Libby, "A former Holt county man
and one of the founders Of the Matt.
and Fair. says the Mound City News
Jcilcrsonian.
1.-TWO souls with but n single
thought. two hearts that bca, ~ one"
So when the preacher tied the knot.
their we'd life was begun. Each
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

\ Lexington dog ran out in the
road and caused u horse to run away.
This resulted in u lawsuit, in which
the persons injured in the runaway
asked for $4,000 in damages to be
paid by the owner of the dog, When
the lawsuit ended the other day, the
jury granted the plaintiff Sl75, hold
ing that the defendant was sure
enough responsible for the action Of
the dog, but that the injury was not
rs great as alleged.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16
NORTHWEST MISSOURI.
The Most Important News Con.
dcnscd From the Leading
Papers.


From $50 Barred Rock hens a Hop
kins man reports 1903 dozen eggs in
January and l4i dozen in February.
lie fed for eggs.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

An epidemic Of measles has occa-
stoned the closing Of the Savannah
schools until March 20.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

The Grand River Oil Company was
formed last week, its directors, presi'
dent and secretary being Gallatin
business men. Its capital stock, says
the North Missourian, is 500, 900, and
the work of obtaining oil leases on
lands in Daviess county will be push
ed rapidly.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

Savannah was only three years old
when Daniel Coffman, who died last
week ut that place, came with his
father to live on homestead in that
locality. Having lived continuously
in Andrew county since 1874, Mr..
Coffman died March !, aged SO years,
and survived by fifty-four descen-
dants. The Savannah Reporter speaks
Of this venerable man as one Of the
strong characters, inseparably ASSOC
cisted with the building VI Andrew
county.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

The usual commercial activity that
characterizes March 1 made IL pos
sible for the Farmers and Merchants
Bank. of Hopkins, to attain a note
worthy record in deposits. On that
one day deposits were received to the
amount OF $l04.3l1.53.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

A Hsrrisonville man who has Q
large flock Of turkeys recently bought
so %SaSs s say' s saS P I: e t e:
bssnyar9 while 10 sts dinner. Aftsl
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

While in the witness chair, giving
his testimony in n lawsuit ut Prince
ton. last week, William f'risbcc. aged
90. was seized with hear, failure. aud
IN momcn, was dead. reports the
Post.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

AZ Princeton. las, week, the first
monthly auction sale Of horses and
mules was n success. $50 horses and
mules being sold. Mule spans sold "a,
high ~ $500. while horse teams
hrough, such prices as $3.50, $3.50 aud
S331.
The Holt County sentinel., 1917-03-16

4 l5.ccnt advertisement in a recent
ssuc of the Lathrop Optimist led 10
he quick sale OF si5OO.00 worth of
'ofu.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1917-06-20
Sine OipIumatiitdc gLMtluOrt.

Gin @oufier IN 9}cw.9orf befom
cinen @eidGits6rieL Der i6m gar nidt
be6oete, er fonnte oud ocn 9riei-
idreiber nidt mtaiteben, Sol1' elm
ungebilOeter 8erl bon einem Nlen.
i6en o6ne ie6e @r5ie6unel @r mlBte
i6m oroettIib 6einleli@tenl IS
hldtc i'm ieoenioaS in alien @lie-
Oerm cinen reht oerben 9rici 5u
idrcibcn; mOciieu ieiuc Stenogropbih
ioB i6m gcgeuiIber, lmo Oo mltBte er
iid be5mingen.
@r ii6erleote mo oiftirte ioOonn
i'm ru6ioiten Gou: D@iein Serr!
@eiue Steno9rapbin, cine Game,
fam nidt nie0eridreiben mas i'd
BON SS6neu 0eute. Sd, Elm @cntle'
mon, fam Is ou6 nidt ausoriiden.
9lbcr Sic, ocr sic weOer oaS cine
nod OoS anoere iinO, weroen mo6l
perite6eu, mos ib meine."
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1917-06-20
@ladlidv abseIanfen.

s5ei einenl ltnoerlt1eioll6en llntall,
nerurIocbt 0nrdb ole iible glngepo6n-
belt man6er anu6en iib an Sc,
fdbrte on5u6dngelL purOe ser Orei-
jd6riae G6orles Gaois, Oeien @ltern
in g}r. 222S, 2omIeD- StraBe, mob.
nen perlebt. Ger &nobe bptte lid oil
Elm 9lutomobil Ser Stonoar0 Doctor
So. onae6dngt. 9nS Der G6auifellr
9Seter 8. Nlidel BON 0tr. 1926, DIT
2om6oro-StraBe, feline @}aibiue
riidrpGrts bemeote, ipuroe Ser anubc
an 9oOen geporfen. SemanO ricI
Dem Gboufieur 8lt iib in 9ldt 81
ne6nen morauf er feline @laibine
norpdrts geben lieB. Gin Serr bob
Den Gnabeu aif lmo Ser Eoli5iIt
SSones q. 2ennon nd6m i'm nadl
Dem So6ns SOpfius-Soipitol. Gort
itellte eS iih 6eraus, ouB Der Gna6c
inlr leidte 9lbidiirfungen oauonge-
tra0en Bate.