davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
JOKE SOMEHOW MISSED FIRE
Incident That illustrates the Danger Of
Plagiarism When Ones Memory
May Cause False Step.

a party of men were discussing at
the dinner table the relative merits of
their favorite heroes, They were wax
ing warm over the subject, when one
man appealed to his host to agree with
him in saying Napoleon was the great
est man of the age.
"Why, yes" was the reply. "Napo-
leon was very great man, but this"
holding up the nutmeg crater which
he had used in mixing the punch bowl,
lis q CRATER"
A would-be wit who was one of the
party thought he would like to repro
duce the joke as his own, so he care
fully arranged dinner at which none
of the men present at the former one
should appear. A table napkin was
held by him. under which a crater was
concealed, and the conversation skill
fully led up to the desired topic. Well
ington was the hero of the evening,
the host keeping discreetly out of the
discussion. Presently man observed,
"We have not heard your opinion,
Brown"
The host Immediately seized his OPP
portunity, and producing the little in
strument, said gravely. Wellington
was indeed great man, but this is a
nutmeg CRATER
And then he wondered why nobody
laughed and all looked at him curl
ously.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01

Soapmaking was known to the an
cient Romans and there is a theory
that they obtained their knowledge Of
the art from some of the Germanic
tribes who had learned ii from some
of the tribes farther to the west and
north. Rliny mentioned that the Ger
mans used both hard and soft soap,
and he indicated that il was q discOv
cry which had been made by the Gauls.
Eastern barrel manufacturers have
agreed TO standardize their tight-band
wooden barrels in eight universal
types.
The Turkish government has taken
up a project for the irrigation OF near
~ half a million acres OF the Adana
plain, the Cilicia Of antiquity, at a cost
OF SIT 100000 and eight or ten years
of work
The erection Of poles for electric
wires has been facilitated by the in
vention of a truck for the purpose. 1t
recently picked up four 40-foot chest
nut poles, carried them 200 feet, and
deposited them In holes In % minutes.
an Indian tribe In Bolivia shuns the
whites and lives as In the stone age
making tools and weapons Of stone,
bone and wood.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
ST. Anthony Needed a Bath

At recent meeting of the confer
ence Of sanitary inspectors j. Towy
Thomas. chief sanitary inspector for
the Rhondda Valley, said that though
writings on health were among the
oldest in the world, sanitation for some
generations made slow progress. The
filthy habits of the hermits of the Mid
ole Ages and of the early Christian
saints were practieed by the monks
or more recent eras. Indeed st. Je-
rome praised these habits of the her
mitS. and especially commended an
Egyptian who combed his hair only on
Easter Sunday and never washed his
clothes. st. Anthony never washed
his feet. AMI Thomas a-Beckett, when
slain, had Indergarments in such
condition that one shuddered at the
scription.-London Times.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
to discover something really nice about

to discover something really nice about
you after all these months!"
Now, Wen just"
flush 7" Kissed Lara- "Here comes
Connie. Hold your breath, Jerry, and
don't bulge"
isn't she in on this?" he whispered.
He could hear Connie making weird
noises as she came around the house
from the front. She was learning to
whistle, and the effect was CHASTITY In
the extreme. Comics mouth had not
been designed for whistling.
SSH She's the band of dark-browed
gypsies trying to steal my lovely wife"
'I'm the lovely wife," interrupted
Carol, complacently.
But Connie does not know about it.
She is so religious she won't be aoy
of the villain parts"
Connie came around the corner of
the parsonage, out the back walk be.
meath the maple. Then she gave
gleeful scream. Right before her lay a
beautiful heavy rope. Connie had been
yearning for a good rope to make a
swing. Here it lay, at her very feet.
plainly gift of the gods. She did not
wait to see where the other end of the
rope was. She just grabbed what she
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Use for Horccehestnuts.

The soapy nature of the kernel of
the horsechestnut has led Investigators
TO search for way to use 1t In remov-
ing dirt and grease from textile goods.
According to Les Matieres Grasses.
several methods of extracting this
soapy substance have been patented,
and, moreover, profitable uses have
been found for other constituents of
the horsechestnut. The shell is rich in
tannin, and is used in preparing an ex-
tract for tanning leather. The kernel
contains about six and six-tenths per
cent of pale yellow oil similar to al
mond oil. After the oil has been ex-
tracted, the residue. treated with dip
lutte alcohol, yields an extract contain
ing about 10 per cent of esculic acid,
saponaceous substance that has ex-
cellent lathering and cleansing proper
ties. The material left after the oil
and soap have been removed can pc
made into white starch. When treat
ed with cold water to remove the Bit
ter principle. it is suitable for food.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
DO You Drlnk?"

had the board nailed on. you might
rope IL to the limbs above Do you sup
pose you can do that, JerryT"
well. let's begin. Now. observed
loop this end of the rope lightly about
middle. The other end Will
dangle on the ground 10 be drawn up
at viii. bestow the good but rusty
nails in this pocket. and the hammer
here. Then with the admirable board
beneath my arm. mount"
And Jerry smiled as he heard the
faithful twins. with much grunting and
an occasional groan. following in his
wake.
It was a delightful location. as
they had said The board fitted nice
" on The two limbs, and Jerry fastened
il with the rusty nails, The twins were
jubilant and loud In their praises OF
his skill and courage
''oh. Jerryl" exclaimed Carol. with
deep satisfaction, 'It's such blessing
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
CURIOUS CONVERSATIONS

A grass trimmer that resembles
horse clippers and is operated with
both hands has been patented by an
Englishman.
Greater efficiency the greatest
problem of the lumber trade. Only one
third of the cut reaches the ultimate
consumer.
americas output of lumber since
1850 would make a solid board wall
ten inches thick one hundred feet wide,
from the earth 10 the moon
An artificial horn. having elasticity,
strength and insulating qualities. is
being made IN Germany from hides.
chemically treated.
American lumbermen are cutting
timber three times as fast as it grows
There Is S500.000,0Oo Invested in
United States lumber plants.
Shoes have been invented from
which the uppers and heels can be re-
moved to enable them to be worn as
slippers
Polish women are renowned for the
beauty Of their hands. They regard
gracefulness Of the hands above all
ether charms.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01

"He threatened me with all sorts
of terrible things. He even shook his
fist at me-"
Don't be alalsoed. It was only Q
pacifist."
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01

London has at least one windmill
still in use, though electricity now
supplies its motive power. This stands
in Cornwall road, Brixton hill. and
has been in the possession of one
family of millers for more than a
century.
Because he lost his bet that Fred
Hartman would win the dog sled derby,
Lloyd Rose undertooS to drive two rats
and tiny sled five blocks through the
streets Of ST. Paul. When he had COW
cred two blocks the crowd made it i'm
possible for him 10 get farther.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Early Terms

In the extreme infancy Of baseball,
runs were called aces" pitchers
sthrowerS' and feeders scouts"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Neal Brown LA Pradt c. 8. Gllber1
ABSTRACTS

We have the only abstract OF Mara
thon county. We have thoroughly
qualified abstractor, and make abb
stracts at reasonable prices. We are
responsible for all abstracts made by
US and guarantee that they show the
condition of the title properly 50 1t
appears on record.
An abstract or title is useful L you
desire to SCI, or mortgage your prop
erty, and is very valuable in ascertain
ing defects in your title that can be
easily remedied. and yet might be suf-
ficient to spoil a sale. II you desire
an abstract of the title to your prop
erty, call and see US.
'Wausau Law & Land Association
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Influences the Brain

Every organ in the body exerrs In
some way an influence upon the brain.
Those whose lives are along the sys-
tematic, plOdding way the great
crowd of uS-haye no excuse for .tem-
peramentsl fits" II we take care of
our health every organ does Its duty.
and brain and nervous system do not
become temporarily poisoned.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01

Mexico City is T.415 feet above see
level. It's death rate has been no
toriously high.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Side by Side Talking in Whispers.

saw before her, and started violently
back around the house with it, yelling:
"Prudencel Look at my ropel"
Prudence rushed around the parson-
age. The twins shrieked wildly, as
there was terrific tug and heaye of
the limb beside them, and then--a
crashing of branches and leaves. Jerry
was gonel
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1917-05-01
Get Careless

"a man who never made mistake
never made anything" said the Wise
One.
Yes agreed the Boob But lot
Of chaps who believe In that get care
less and never make anything but mis-
takes"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30
nsing Opens His Bag of Horrors Producing Bernstor

believe that he was singled out for active
persecution and actual destruction among
all the Irishmen then or since living, or
among all the we'll wishers Of Ireland IN the
United States? Why should the British su-
thorities thus select him az a victim!'
"The New York Evening Sun" has this
to add:
at would seem that If any persons were
bent on Mr.. Justice Cohalan's destruction
they were his German friends and allies. 1t
was certainly too bad OF them TO keep on
file the proof Of his intriguing without even
the camCufage Of a cipher 10 protect his
name"
"The New York Evening Post" is nat
uraly not at all pleased with the JUS
tees explanation, pointing out that
Judge Cohalan has made denial-a
rather limping denial-of the extraordi-
nary advice to the German Embassy cred
tied to him in the Won Igel documents.
The Judge appears TO be fully aware OF
the awkward position in which he is
placed. If the charges against him were
to be substantiated, they would compel
either his resignation from the bench or
his impeachment by the Legislature. His
is tragic situation
1.-THE Brooklyn Daily Eagle" is also
dissatisfied with the explanation, feeling
that "his denial does not convince because
his attitude during the whole period OF
the Irish revolt was that Of a German
sympathizer actuated by an intense hat
red of all things British, and prepared to
welcome a German victory if thereby Ire
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30
n enator Nelson, the Copper Kings,
- and the Montana Apple Situation

Senator Knute Nelson, of Minnesota
"old and stanch friend Of the Minneapolis
Chamber of Commerce" is held up to scorn
by The Leader for championing the mill
ing interests against the farmers. He re-
ferred TO the farmer, says THE Leader,
"as those classes of men, in the same tone
he would say those kinds Of cattle" A
prominent place is also given to Miss Ran
kin's speech in Congress attacking the cop
rer mine owners of Montana. while
Montana farmers have increased their crop
acreage to help this government, the pro-
duction of copper, which the government
needs desperately, is being held down
because John d. Ryan, head Of the
copper trust. refuses to abolish an in
famous 'rustling card system whereby he
bIacklists workers who seek to better their
own conditions" says "The Leader" And
so il goes down the line, from a survey of
the apple situation in Montana, where hun
aceds of acres of apple trees are being
pulled out to make room for hay growing,
to "cordwood profiteers." And the solution
for all this, in the main: Cooperation Of the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30

paper serves to explain somewhat the We
hemence of the recent meeting of the farm
ers at ST. Paul, at which vigorous protest
vas made against profteering. AS "The
Leader" says in its issue of September IS
the farmers met
"To consider not only the action of the
government in establishing fixed price for
wheat, which is Sc cents below the market
price on the day the notice Of the intention
of the government was given out, but to con-
slider also the governments price policy tow
ard all commodities which the working people
of the nation as well as the farmers must
buy in order that they may live.
"The farmers have been assessed from so
to 100 per cent or more of their profits in
wheat in order that the consumers of the
cities may get lower prices. The makers Of
war munitions the steel magnates, the mine
owners, the railroads, the millers, the Cham
Der of Commerce grain dealers-all have es-
capped such drastic regulation. There ap-
pears TO be grave danger that what the farm
ers have given up will not so to promote the
efficiency OF the nation in war as it was in
tended but that much of il will cling TO the
fingers of war profteers and that the work
ing people of the nation will continue to
stagger under an ever growing load of ex-
cessiye war prices"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30
Raped by "he NontartSm Leader

producer to eliminate exploitation by
the middlemen and fairer treatment at the
hands of the government.
In inviting Senator La Toilette to speak
at ST. Paul the Non-Partisan League laid
itself open to criticism on the ground Of
being disloyal and pro-German, which it
Indignantly denied. Nevertheless, if "The
Leader" represents the feelings Of league
members, there is a strong anti-govern-
ment sentiment in the league based on dis
trust of those who have surrounded the
President at Washington. Under the head
ing "Whose War Is IT," THE Leader"
thus takes shot at Official Washington" !:
THE position of official Washington in re-
gard to peace terms, as expressed by news
dispatches lately. is discouraging. Official
Washington is letting it be understood that il
looks upon every proposition to discuss peace
terms as cunning German propaganda IL
brands the demand of the American peo-
pie that the government state definitely the
terms on which it will make peace as 'prema-
ture' and 'unpatriotic' When a widespread
sentiment IN any part OF the country devel'
ops, demanding shat definite peace terms be
stated, official Washington is surprised and
panied. Instead of considering this express
sion of public opinion as a straw showing
how the people feel and as an expression for
the guidance of the peoples servants at the
Capitol, official Washington 'deplores' the ac-
Invites Of 'agitators' and the 'misinforma-
ton that exists in various parts Of the coun-
try in regard to the country's war aims. In
stead of being guided by this expressed pub
lie opinion, it indicates that it intends by
publicity or other means TO 'dissipste' the
misunderstanding of the people. In brief,
Official Washington thinks this war is official
Washington's war. The people are TO par
ticipate by furnishing lives and money, Of
course, but official Washington will run the
war and brook no suggestions. Oficial Wash
ington will not be guided by public opinion,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30
A Thrill of Honest Rage
n Through America

When this unsavory Bernstorf story
was made public The Baltimore Sun
predicted that it would "send thrill Of
honest rage throughout America" and
1.-THE Buffalo Express" said that "Secre-
tsry Lansing fired what may prove to be
the biggest high explosive shell yet dellv-
cred in his campaign of pitiless publicity
Of German diplomatic intrigue
"The Birmingham Age Herald" thought
the publication an amazing revelation to
those who Judge diplomacy by Americas
ethical standards" And THE Wheeling
Intelligencer' expected "a thrill of indig-
nation to run through the country
1t is striking fact that most Of the
newspapers were not surprised TO see
Bernstorff at last caught in the act. The
comment of this large section of the press
is but a paraphrase of Hamlets well
known exclamation when the ghost con-
frmed his suspicious that his uncle was his
fathers murderer: "Oh, my prophetic
SOUL" The surprise was, not that Bern
ttorff did it, but that he got caught at 1t
N-he the oily" suave diplomat, ever
ready with deity worded assurances of
Germanys unchanged friendship for the
people Of the United States. The COM
ment upon Bernstorff, the man and dlplo-
mat, is exceedingly crushing; he is every
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30
THE
MIDDLEMEN

4 FARMER raised peck Of wheat be-
"A side the River Dee; boarder ate
a wheated loaf way down in Ten
nessee; the loaf the boarder fed upon cost
half as much and more as did the farmers
peck of wheat month or so before.
"Now. why is this" the boarder raved,
"they hold me up on bread "And why
is wheat so bloomin' cheap" the plodding
farmer said.
A guy beyond the Rocky Ridge raised
twenty pounds Of lines; another guy IN
old New York was kicking on the times,
for he had downed glass of "sde," and,
poor forlorn galoot, had paid one-half the
market price of twenty pounds of fruit,
Now. why is this, they soak me thus for
this wee sip Of 'ade'?" "And why" eX
claimed the orchard man, IAN ! so poorly
paid?'
Now hold your horses steady there, you
Jay beside the Dee; go easy there, you
hungry guy in sunny Tennessee; restrain
yourself. you orchard man, forbear this
angry talk and you beside the soda fount
In Little Old Moo Yayk, remember this:
Our food and drink, no matter where and
when, must also be the food and drink Of
THIRTY MIDDLEMEN! j. L. 7.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30

where hooted out Of the company Of de-
cent men as the unmasked hypocrte, as q
man for whom no American henceforth
can have anything but fathomless disgust
THE Milwaukee Journal" regards his con-
duct as utterly lacking in anything that
even approximates a sense Of honor and
ordinary decency," and adds:
"His act was unutterably base and treach
erous. and had it been committed by an am
bassador or minister from almost any other
nation on earth. it would be startling in
deed Coming as it did, however, from Ger
many's Ambassador, II was mere matter
of course all in the days work II is foi
this reason that it is not surprising"
"The New York Sun concludes that
"the ringeader of the plotting was the
German Ambassador himself" and goes
on to say: The oily Won BernstOrff. who
had tea with correspondents and govern
ment officials on the afternoon of his last
day in Washington, and said many felici-
tous things about his pleasant relations
with the people of this country, was a
vulgar SCOuiluIel.
1.-THE st. Louis Republic writes:
"As for Bernstorf, it can be imagined with
what JUNCTION this willy trickster would have
set down in his memoirs. Ia Bismarck, u
few wears hence the lying schemes and pur
chased influence with which he fooled tho
American people, through Congress, into
holding off while his All-Highest master pur'
suad his purdprouS way"
The Sioux Falls Is. d. Press dlsposes
Of the ex-ambassador in this style:
"The man America treated with such
scrupulous courtesy, who was even for &
time lauded by its press for what we be-
lieyed 10 be his sincere efforts to persuade
his own government to stop its aggressions
against the United States. was only hypo'
critic, an unprincipled servant of criminal
master. a dishonest plotter, dishonoraole
double dealer"
THE Wilkes Barre Record also has It's
suspicious confirmed that "the ambassador
was one of the ringleaders' and Classics
him along with Won Papen and Boy Ed
thus:
This suave and genteel diplomat all TIE
while protesting innocence OF secret machl-
nations. was equally guilty in treachery with
the notorious Won Papen and Boyd and the
other agents of Germany who. while enjoy
ing the hospitality of the United States
were plotting against its government
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30

TIME publication by Secretary Lans'
ing of Count Won Bernstorfs mes
l. sage TO the German government
asking for $4,000 for influencing Con
eress has called forth storm Of angry
discussion throughout the American press
rh. disclosure is treated as in line with
tbe revelations that went before-the Zlm-
,oermann offers to Mexico and Japan, the
Inxburs sparlos rerscnkt dispatch, and
the Won Eckhardt proposal of the Swedish
o,tache for decoration for favors re-
oeived.
The alertness of the State Department
and its detectives in unearthing these evil
aences of German treachery is praised IN
MANY quarters; and the public appetite
for that kind of matter is expressed In
8, general demand for further disclosures
Il is intimated. too, in the dispatches OF
well informed Washington correspondents
that Secretary Lansing still has other i'm
portant cards up his sleeve; and 1t may
Re assumed that this public curiosity Will
be gratified in due time.
The long chapter of German diplomatic
duplicity and treachery has not yet beer
closed. but it is evident from the general
tone of press discussions that nothing tc
come will be received as unexpected or as
Incredible
The general rating of German diplomacy
has now sunk so low that nothing that
can possibly be divulged at Washington
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-30

land could be separated from England.
1t is reasonable assumption that the
government of the United States would
not have permitted the publication OF the
very secret message attributed to Coha-
Ian if it had not been satisfied that it was
in every respect genuine
1.-THE Buffalo Express" expresses mild
surprise that the justice explains by
claiming that he is being prosecuted by
England, and in the following passage
tries to show him how i'll directed his
wrath is:
"If German spies, without knowledge or
warrant on his part, represented him as Offer
ing the German government plan for a
German campaign to facilitate Instruction
ir Ireland, that indeed was triaing with his
honor in a manner which would Justify in
him the most extreme outourst of wrath
against Germany, the present enemy of his
country lie should turn his mind over and
aim his anger in the right direction II he is
going to enter denial. Think of an Irish
man being bunked by German. said Job
Hedges in his speech here on Saturday
night
On the other hand, "The Knickerbocker
Press" of Albany, comes forward with this
defence of the justice, which has certainly
a peculiar ring:
IF Judge Cohalsn is guilty, of course his
guilt dates back to April, 1916. II it is right
and proper that he should be removed as a
Supreme Court Justice of the State of New
York, OF course it was right and proper that
he should be removed in April, 1916, and
knowledge OF these facts was entirely in the
hands of President Wilson and his admins
tration. OF course it fellows that il judge
Cohalan should have been removed, President
Wilson and his administration by suppressns
the facts are equally guilty, ard every ono
should be removed"