The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1917-04-26
Getting Even

have often wondered why it is that
when women are late it almost in
variably makes them good humOred.
There is breezy cheeriness about
my respect.
So said to my wife upon this oc-
casiOn-that is, upon one of the many
occasions when she came In late to
dinner said to her:
MY dear, you seem unusually cheer
full this evening; yet you are not any
later than usual. What is the reason?"
II have been skating" said my wife.
II feel exceptionally good"
Skating" I observed, sis the new
fad"
Ny wife colored slightly: or was 1t
the effects of the skating? At any
rate she observed:
II dislike that word fad excessively,
particularly as you use 1t SO indis-
criminately. You say it of every.
thing. I am expecting every week that
you will apply that odious term to my
hairdresser."
''Why not?" replied with slight
touch of asperity, which occasional
" allow myself in the presence of my
superior. Embarrassing, among Amer
lean women, is personal fad; skat-
ing Is only ephemeral."
1--WE won't discuss that point any
more" said my wife, who, am bound
to say. has an admirable temper for a
city woman, "but you are to skate
with me on Friday night. have
formed club"
My wife is always forming clubs.
It seems to work upon her spirits in a
progressive manner.
Il would rather not" I said as an
opening gun.
"You must" said my wife. 1T has
all been arranged"
When my wife says it has all been
arranged it means that a German army
corps equipped with AZ centimeter
guns, and Won Hindenburg back Of
them, cannot dislodge her. Neverthe-
less I began to apply my usual
strategy.
First I smiled.
do you remember" I said in an
offhand way, 'the horrible exhibition
that I made of myself dancing with
you last wintsr?"
"And with Others" said my wife,
also smiling ut the recollection.
"YOu wanted me to Dance" I said.
"You dragged me around with you,
admirably concealing your amuse-
ment, or shall say horror, ut my eff
forts, because why?-beceuse you
wished to hance yourself. So you
encouraged me, and went on, delud-
ing myself that, was really dancing,
until Jenks-tlear old Jenks-took me
aside one night and said to me, Old
man, am your friend; you are max
ing an ass of YOURSELF Well, stopped
dancing. And now you ask me to
skate. No thank you! BY the way,
how did you learn to skater"
"Oh!" said my wife, II am taking
lessons. have already had two, and
before the week is out"
Arriving Mt the rink on Friday eve
ming my wife explained to the rest Of
the company that we were both be-
ginners. "You know Henry here"
she said, "hasn't taken any lessons.
but I'm sure he will learn easily. I've
had two, and"
Then 1 executed few movements
the grapevine, the figure eight and
the back cut, before her astonished
eyes. And it was the only moment of
real triumph 1 ever had during my
long married career. My wife actual
ly gasped.
"Where did you learn?" she asked.
"Long before you were born" 1 re-
piled, briskly pirouetting before her.
''YOu forget, my dear, that spent my
boyhood in the country, when skating
was not a fad"
At this moment jerks came up.
by Jove!" he exclaimed. "Give me
D lift, will you? Tm-just-learning."
took him by the arm confidentially.
"Old man." I whispered-rather q
loud whisper too-"Old man, don't do
1t! Don't make an ass of yourself!"