davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

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The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
How To Punish Them
~ Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank crane)

The other day some ten million men
were registered in the selective conscrip-
tion list for the United States army.
Some two or three men in New York
City refused TO register.
And the newspapers devoted about as
much space to the two or three mules
as to the ten million willing workers.
All of which goes to show that you
cannot always tell how much real ice
man cuts by the amount of space he gets
in the news columns.
Notoriety is strong and heady liquor,
and men will go to great lengths for a
swig of it. Many brother, likewise sis
ter, has plunged into vice. and crime,
more or less, not because they were really
naughty, but TO secure the luxury of
brief sojourn in the spotlight. To get
ones picture on the front page and ones
name in the headlines, even if the picture
looks like smallpox victim and the name
is spelled wrong, is worth while even
if one has TO burn hayrick or throw a
brick into the postoffice window TO ac-
complsh it.
What is life without conspicuity?
Notoriety is curious bird
One rampant. fence-breaking and man.
horning steer in a pasture will attract
more attention than one hundred decent,
well-behaved cattle that calmly mind
their own business.
II is suspected that some Of those ter
rible riots" in Petrograd and other ovsky
cities were actually about as important
as our own little Emma Goldman out
bursts in some little lodge room over a
grocery store on Third avenue.
Many an earnest young parson labors
along in the vineyard legitimately until
he is aged and gray Maggie and never
gets over an inch notice in nonpareil
among the church notices, whereas had
he stood on his head on the pulpit and
cracked his heels the while, or run off
with the senior deacon's daughter, or
sold stock in a real estate enterprise 10
Gated about two miles out in the lake.
he would have landed kerplunk right in
the middle of boiling fame.
If | were official United States censor
and press car l would issue a ukase
to the effect that anybody who INDUCES
in the sport known as knocking Uncle
Sam should be condemned to exclusion
from the newspapers for at least one
year.
Although this may seem TO be violat-
ing the constitution, which forbids cruel
and unusual forms of punishment, and
although it would be the most dreaded
form of torture to the gifted jackasses
who, as the poet says, are painting red
pants" for notoriety, yet would do it,
I'm that bloodthirsty.
If any man refuses to register, don't
kill him, don't jerk him up and fine him;
no, such is too lenient action; but-no
don't stop mel will say tiny
blood's up and don't care how horrible
and inhuman it sounds-just don't pay
any attention to him. and he will prob
ahlv exnire in mortal agony
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
Anniversaries

l7Ts-New Jersey passed decla-
ration Of Independence.
1s33-First public trial OF now
ing and reaping machine before the
Hamilton county tO9' Agrieuiturai
IS5S-Czar Nicholas Of Russia be-
gan the Crimean war by sending MS
army into Moldayia.
ls5s-The car OF Russia decreed
the partial emancipation Of the serfs
on the imperial domains.
fs62-President Lincoln called for
500 900 volunteers for three years.
iss1-Iord Monck took nffce as
first governor general OF the Domin-
Is7o-New constitution OF Illinois
ratified by vote OF the people.
ls92-Nationai convention or the
Peoples party convened IN omaha.
laie--The Russian Duma adopted q
bill according 70. peasants fun civil
rights
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY ~ THE
WAR
Italians rsgained Monte cosnss-
non.
Austrians continued their retreat
French reported capture OF 5000
Germans south Of. Arras
French drive hurled Germans back
on 25-mile front along the Somme.
ToDay's BIRTHDAYS
Crown Prince olav. heir 20 the
throne of Norway. born in England
~ years ago today.
Frederick r keppel. dean Of Col
umnia university, now serving a. as
slstaut - secretary Of War Baker
born on staten Island. y. T.. ~ years
ago TODAY
Rev George ". Mundelein. catho-
lie archbishop Of Chicago. born In
New York city as years ago today.
Hubert % stephens. representative
In congress - the Second Mississippi
district born in Union county. Miss.
80 years ago today
Eugiene Black representative In
congress 81 the First Texas district,
born IN Lamar county. Texas, 90
years ago today.
Grover O. Hartley catcher OF the
50, Louis American league baseball
team. born IN Osgood. Ind. 20 years
ago today
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
This, We Humbly Submit,
is the Most Unkindest
Cut-It-Out of Them All

At last has the food famine struck us
in vital spot
At last we are up against it.
We have complacently cut down our
meat supply.
We have scraped the crumbs from the
table to sprinkle over the pudding.
We have gone on sugar rations of a
teaspoonful per day, to be taken after
y meals, as sort of dessert.
We have canned all the vegetable peal
ings in glass jars which cost rs cents
q dozen.
We have converted into questionable
salads the tough, worn, outside leaves of
the cabbage and spread butter in translu-
cent thinness upon our bread.
We feel that virtue sits upon our brow
and that we can calmly await the future,
strong in our sense of righteousness.
That is, we did did feel that way until
the glory of that brow, it's crown of hair,
the only crown permitted in democratic
state, was menaced.
Now all is chaos.
We cut out eggs for breakfast long
ago, even to that variety unappetizingy
nicknamed "candled."
AS for the fancy" extra fancy"
"fresh," "extra fresh" and new laid"
we have had no speaking nor even bow
ing acquaintance with them for many a
long day.
But
The old story of the worm is as good
today as ever.
1t has the same way of changing its
course.
It will crawl along over all sorts Of OBJ
stacles with patience and fidelity until
some huge thing is placed across its path,
when it turns and finds another way
round.
And that is what is happening now.
We cannot give up our egg shampoo.
"Give us the Injuries of life, oh Lord,
and we can get along without the neces-
sities," prayed cynic long ago, and we
have not changed much since then.
It matters not that 1877 100000 eggs
= year will thus be added to the food
supply.
Il matters not that soap and plenty
Of water might answer the purpose as a
wartime measure.
Nothing matters excepting the fact
that we are attacked in our most vulner-
able point--our vanity-and we will not
stand for such ruthless violation min
ute.
The same bloom is upon the cheek fed
upon corn beef and cabbage as upon that
nourished by capon. cream-fed Long
Island duckling and pate-de-fois-gras.
No one can tell the difference. but
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

Man alive" he said anxious
~, you look rotten, What's
up"
II feel rotten" said Collins
YEARLY. Il was blown out ~
bed AZ 3 O'Clock this morning
What Was there an air
raid. Them"
mo. Somebody. curse him.
brought the babysa trumpet
yesterday"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

100 pages, which would add $4,000
10 space given TO him during his
stay here.-Editor and Publisher.
New York
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

land. II Is up TO the young man TO
furnish proof that he is under 81
or over 81. IL he wants TO escape
being drafted into the army.
There is no doubt but that there
were many slackers who were able
TO shirk registration because OF the
absence OF official birth records.
Willing young men were also un.
able 70 find out whether they were
OF registration age because there
were no official birth records on file
The war call brought home in a
striking manner the need OF birth
registration 10 every community and
TO almost every family In the Unit
ed States.
Almost everyone will agree that
birth registration is good thing.
They know that n birth record is
often needed 10 prove men OF voting
age. 10 establish rights OF inherit
lance OF 10 determine who Is en-
titled 10 the protection OF the ma
tons flag. But II took registration
da yto waken the people from their
slumber,
Now is the time 10 see that your
baby's birth is registered. An off,
cial record OF his birth may save
him from draft at some future date
or may enable him 20 do his part
when his country calls.
Insist upon the birth being re-
corded
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

chauffeur began Operating on
his machine. He turned and
twisted IL. and banged II, and
screwed, but 10 no avail. and
still the cabby spoke not. Then
the chauffeur wiped his brow.
and the cabby. still with the
CLEAN in his eye. crossed over.
Ere" he-excIaimed. grimly
holding out his whip. Ere
IL i'm with thlsl"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
The Keep Well
Column
YOUR AGE

At no time IN the history OF the
country has the question OF your
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
Laugh With Us

Here is incident that Chanute man tells
as having occurred in Kansas town. He was
in ticket office and watchtd the proceedings
-L-.I 4. L.. Il
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

asked for a ticket TO Kansas
City. inquiring the price.
1.-TWO twenty-five" said the
agent.
The man dug into a we'll
worn pocketbook and fished out
a banknote for 81. II was all
the money he had.
How soon does this train
or >" ho fnotfirad
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

ABe been as I'M
portant as now.
Never b g 10 r q
has the govern
ment been so
deeply interested
In knowing the
exact ages OF the
young men OF tho
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02
Health Questions Answered.

Health Questions Answered.
Y. T. Ram barber, 81 years
old. Feel healthy, but my tongue is
always coated. What would you
suggest?"
Get out OF doors and exercise as
much az possible. do not believe
that you need any medicine. but
more fresh air.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

I'm fifteen minutes" replied the agent
The man hurried away. Soon he was back
with three silver dollars with which he bought
a ticket
Pardon my curiosity" said the ticket seller.
but how did you get the money? II isn't
loan for see you have disposed OF the 81 bill"
That's all right" said the man. mo, didn't
borrow H. went 10 pawnshop and soaked the
bill for so Then as I started back here
met an old acquaintance TO whom I sold the
pawn ticket for $3.50 ! then had So. and he
had the pawn ticket for which the ~ bill
stands security"
The cabby regarded the broken down taxf with
= LII. k..tL aLat Ia
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

Mullens looked 1T his partner sharply when he
arrived M the office
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

The cabby regarded the broken down taxf with
a CLEAN OF delight. but did not speak The
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-07-02

yer are. mister
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
LAUNDERING ALONG.

The priority board of the council
of national defense has dealt serious
blow to the good roads movement
turnout the country.
After an investigation understood to
have been directed by Robert S. Low
EFT. the board issued an order to the
effect that open-top freight cars. ex-
cept flat cars, may not be used for
shipping: Materials and supplies,
other than coal. for the construction,
maintenance or repair of public or
private highways, roadways, streets or
sidewalks"
There is no official intimation of
how long this drastic order will re-
main in effect.
The immediate effect of the order
is to stop the shipping of crushed
stone, Stag, sand and gravel to every
highway contract in the country that
depends on rail supply. Delivery of
brick and cement, and possibly bar
relied asphalt, all of which have been
shipped to some extent in the pro-
scribed gondolas because of the scar
city of other cars, will also be cur
tailed.
It is explained that the priority
board, realizing that immediate action
could not be avoided, no matter what
the grounds for protesting the order,
decided against hearings on the mat
ter as calculated only to raise storm
of protest which could not in any
case help the desperate situation with
regard to the transportation of coal
This situation, involving the shutting
down of munitions plants and coal
famines adversely affecting industry
in all parts of the country, is due, it
is officially stated, to a lack of coal
cars. To remedy this severe shortage,
it is said, the communicating at once
of all available gondola cars could no
longer be postponed.
The action taken came so unex-
pectedly, it is said, as to catch many
miles of highways graded with no
prospect of securing materials to com
plete them before winter makes
morasses of them.
The policy of the government ap-
pears to be to treat symptoms and not
causes. The car shortage might be
remedied much more effectively if
the railroads were permitted to earn
enough to enable them to purchase
additional rolling stock. Barring this
course, the construction of hard sur
faced roads would permit the use of
gasoline trucks for transportation of
much of the freight now hauled by
the railroads and thus reduce the de-
mand for cars.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
TRAVELLED
A Forgotten Capital.
BY NIKsAH

1t is hardly accurate to speak of
Hangchow as forgotten capital,
perhaps, but it is city whose glory
has departed and whose greatness is
forgotten in all truth. Time was, be-
fore Picking was thought of, when
Hangchow reigned supreme over the
Chinese empire, so dearly beloved of
her rulers that they could not be in
duced under any persuasion of duty
or eXigency to leave the shores of her
dreamy lake. In the days of the
very early European visitors, Hang
chow was still in her glory, and they
describe her without a dissenting
voice, as the richest and most beau
tful city in the world.
Marco Polo, that charming cosmo-
politan, speaks of her as a vision of
beauty and veritable Golconda for
wealth. They still remember Marco
Polo in Hangchow: there are tinv
images of him 10 be had in dim, dusty
shops. The average Chinaman seems
to confuse him with some of the low
er orders Of supernatural beings-a
strange fate to overtake a good Italian
gentleman.
Hangchow today is still a great
city-about as large, say, as PhlIadeI-
phia-but mere size is little distinc-
ton in China, and otherwise the old
time metropolis is somewhat run to
seed. Only in the district adjoining
glimpse of other days on the shores
of this lake there was laid out the
worlds first landscape garden. and no
more beautiful garden has ever been
laid out since.
Here the emperors of long ago
lounged away their placid lives. Iapped
in that philosophy of meditative
tranquility and the passive conten-
plation of beauty which seems to he
the natural esthetic outlet for the
Chinese. The hundreds of graceful
bridges, the peaked pagodas, the sill
yer waters of the lake with their
floating lily-pads. the gaily ornament
ed house-boats that floated lightly as
butterflies on the moveless face of the
Waters-these were the attractions
that lured the olden rulers into a wax
ing dream, while an uncouth race less
vulnerable to such charms were har-
rying TO the northward So the an
clent dynasty passed, and the glory of
HanSchow. 1t was all very long ago.
Hangchow is the Oldest city in me
world with a record of continuous
habitaton. Nowadays the wealthy
merchants and American tourists 20
a-boating on the silver lake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
HOUSEHOLD HINTS

Escalloped Noodles and Corn
Make noodles with one egg with twice
the egg bulk in milk; make as usual.
Cut them wide, cook ten minutes in
sailed water, drain. Have buttered
baking dish, put in layer of noodles.
then canned corn with bits of butter.
salt and pepper and pinch OF sugar:
more noodles and corn. Last, pour
over cup milk and bake one-half hour.
Serves six people supper without
meat or potatoes and is fine.
Egg Mush (meat substftute1 -
After making cornmeal mush in the
usual way. have two or three eggs
boiled hard enough for slicing; alter
nate the corn mush and sliced eggs
until both are used up. When cold
slice. flour and fry until brown.
Cornmeal Fritters with sauxagal.
Have boiling hot one quart water.
add two tablespoons syrup, one and
one-half teaspoons sage powder. one
teaspoon salt, oBe-fourth feaspoon
white pepper. Stir in two cups vel
low cornmeal. one pound bulk san
sage and one-half cup crackIings that
has been put through the food cbon-
per. Cook one hour slowly. stfrrin~
all the time When done turn into
well-greased crock and grease tha
top so IL won't get hard when cold
Cut in slices and fry a golden brozn
Serve with applebutter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENTS.

During the past few years there has
been widespread interest in the sub
ject of industrial accidents and their
prevention, and important safety cam
paigns have been carried on by many
employers and by many private and
public organizations. No doubt these
efforts have been successful in reduc-
ing the huge toll of death and suffer-
ing which modern industry levies
upon it's workers. But the effective
ness of all such efforts has been seri-
onsly handicapped by the general lack
of information regarding the preva-
lence. causes, and effects of accidents
in the industries of the country.
A recent report bulletin 216) of
the bureau of labor statistics of the
United States department of labor en-
titled Accidents and accident preven-
ton in machine building" supplies
this detailed information for a large
group of plants engaged in the build
ing of different kinds of machines.
A notable feature of the report is
the measurement of accidents accord4
ing to their severity. Previous studies
have been chiefly concerned with the
frequency of accident occurrence, and
have counted all accidents as of the
| same value. A broken finger and a
broken back have been counted alike
in computing accident rates, altho
clearly the latter is immeasurably
more serious. The method offered in
this report is to measure each accident
according to the resulting amount of
time lost. To do this it is necessary,
of course, to express fatal and perma-
nent injuries as we'll as temporary
disabilities, in terms of work days
lost. This is done by valuing a fatal
injury. on the basis of life insurance
experience. as equivalent to the loss of
thirty years of mans working life,
while total permanent disability was
rated at thirty-five years. other in
juries are credited with lower time
losses in proportion to their probable
effect upon earning capacity.
Applying this method to the acct
dent data for the machine building
industry. some interesting results are
obtained. Thus. in the 1914 plants
covered by the investigation the num-
Der of accidents occurring in 1912 was
1851. resulting in thirty-sever
deaths. All permanent injuries, and
1899 temporary disabilities. This i:
equivalent to an accident frequency
rate of lis per 1000 full time 600.
day. workers and a severity rate o.
Sc days lost per worker. These rate.
may be contrasted with the experienc,
of a representative steel plant during
the same year, for which the FIRE
quency rate was 154 and the severit!
rate fourteen days lost. Accidents il
) the steel plant were thus only abou
. one-third more frequent than in ma
I chine building but their severity wa
y times as great.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
GLOBE SIGHTS
LFrom the Atchison Globe.1

CFrom the Atchison Globe.1
War develops almost as many asses
as it does patriots.
Puritan is often a person who
wants everyone to be as misera bic
as he is.
1t is always a good plan to keep
your mouth shut, but particularly so
in war times.
We hope the Y. NJ. C. A. recreation
halls will keep the young men away
from the French adventuresses but
we doubt it.
The man who remarks that he
would just as soon as not be bald al
ways has a head of hair as thick as
the name on a lion.
If you have the goods publicity
agents will work Tor you without pay.
If a man gets along better than you
do the chances are he is smarter than
you are, though you may not be able
to see it.
An Atchison woman, who has
moved to New York, says life in the
big city as she finds it. is distressing
~ dull. She says repeating and be-
lieving all the gossip she heard in
Atchison was much more thrilling and
exciting than anything she has en-
countered in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15
ON SPUR f FL MOMENT


Away back, years ago, in school
There was a boy in my class and his
Name was Henry. He was the laughing
stock
OF the school. He had red hair and he
stayed
In one class three years. He also slut
tered
And was afraid of the girls.
Henry didn't know enough to
Come in out of the Pluvian precipitation
He thought Ipicac was the capital of
Mexico
And that Helsingfors was the name of a
Greek astrologer.
After we had all graduated Henry was
Plugging away in the eighth grade and
Was given up hopeless.
l had forgotten all about Henry when
1 met him in New York the other day.
He was riding in his own limousine and
He had only a few minutes, as he had
To attend five directors meetings thai
morning
The two brightest boys in our class now
Draw a combined weekly salary of $50.
How did Henry do it? Search me.
How do all of them do it?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15

the protection of the present genera
ton of Americans. but to guarantee
them the same advantages of liberty
that their elders have enjoyed before
them. When asked to pledge them
selves to work for the loan they an
swered with a whoop, and father
knew no peace from little Willie or
sister Susie until the family name had
been entered on the long roll of
honor.
The real secret of the overwhelm-
ing success of the second liberty loan
was that the masterful campaign of
publicity reached the understanding
and sympathies of the people to such
an extent that it became everybody's
business. While the sum of money
raised was veritable avalanche of
wealth, greatly outstripping anything
of the kind ever known in the world
before, the flotation of this loan has
value that can not be measured by
| tons of gold or bales of currency. 1t
means that America is aroused, that
our people are becoming aware of
the great danger that really threatens
them and their free institutions, that
they will become more and more
united and consecrated to the task of
preserving for themselves and poster
lty the priceless rights of freedom.
Questions on the above or any sub
| ject upon which the reader desires in
formation, should be addressed the To-
peka State Journal Information Bu-
reau. Frederic J. Raskin. Director
Washington, D. c., with a Scent
stamp enclosed for reply.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-15

The total of food production in the
United States this year is vastly above
anything ever before recorded. Corn
and potatoes are more than bumper
crop-they are a super-bumper crop
A corn crop of 1871, O83,OOO bushels
compensates for the deficiency in
wheat, while a yield of oats of $780,
7140OO bushels suggests that there
viii be scarcity neither of the favor
lite cereal food of the American people
nor the sustenance of our horses. Es-
Inmates based on the November crop
reports show that all crops of this
YEARS harvest are in excess not only
OF last year but of the yearly average
since 1911 except wheat, apples, cram
berries. hay, rice. cotton, peaches and
hope; and of these, hay and rice are
above the five-year average, and cot
ton and peaches are above the 1915
yield. The huge corn crop means
more cattle. pork and poultry.