The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1917-05-04
The BACHELORS
CLUB
There Was a Penalty For
Marriage
By RICHARD MARKLEY

tion or men who regarded themselves
as being especially happy in not hav-
ing wife, child or home and who look
ed upon women as designing persons
who made 1t their business to enslave
men, usually by some undetermined
means altogether reprehensible.
The Bachelors club came to order.
the president in the chair.
"Fellow bachelors" he said. zone of
our number has committed matrimony.
Edward Hammerton has taken to him.
self a wife. will read article of
our constitution. applying to his case:
when any member shall become en-
gagged or has been married he shall pay
q fine and his membership in the club
shall cease. He shall state the arts by
which he was shared. II there are palli-
ating circumstances In his case he shall
not pay the whole fine. but such portion
of It as the club may consider just
amount In his case.
"Mr. Hammerton will now make his
statement"
II assure you, gentlemen" said the
retiring member, "that no intention
whatever to desert you ever entered
my head until diabOlical combination
Of young women in the town where
live forced matrimony upon me. These
persons organized a club based on
custom prevailing in a foreign land.
Between the mountains Of India and
Persia, / have since understood, is
powerful tribe, among whom the ladies
can choose their own husbands. All a
single woman has to do when she
wishes to change her state is to send a
servant to pin a handkerchief to the
Int Of the man on whom her fancy
lights, and he is obliged to marry her
unless he can show that he is too poor
to purchase her at the price her father
requires.
INSPIRED by this suggestion from
land where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions, every I'M
married woman in the town where I
live formed club-rather, entered upon
a conspiracy-to force the bachelors
into matrimony. One morning, being
about to leave my home on taking my
hat from the hall closet something soft
and scented fluttered against my hand.
! shuddered. had touched the Indian
poison flower and was reminded Of its
waxen petals and its seductive odor.
Taking the hat to the light, ! saw
pinned to 1t blue silk handkerchief
in one corner Of which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe, gentlemen. the In
sinuating method of this designing
creature. She not only knew how dear
to every man Is his alma mater, but
she was aware that blue Is the color
of my college.
mind you, gentlemen, did not at
the time know of this society or of
its malevolent purpose, for the mem
bers kept both secret so long as posi-
BILE. l asked my butler how the hand
kerchief came to be pinned to my hat.
He said that the servant Of Miss Euge-
MIA Tomliilson, living at the other end
of the street, had called before l was
out Of bed, asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief Why he had
done so he did not state.
Going to my club after had break
tasted, sat down to cigar and
paper. In the paper l read full ac-
count of the organization and prac-
tices of this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported to our soil. | also
read list Of the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast to
see the names Of two OF my most init
mate friends.
"'Great heavens | cried, the per-
spiration starting out on me, and 1
have already received a deadly Black
Hand notification
1.-THE lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery, both from her
beauty and general attractiveness, was
all powerful. Any man OH whom she
pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him. Nevertheless. though seeing
the signal to heave to, made up my
mind to pay no attention to 1t. / sim
ply sailed on. minding my own busi-
ness"
"Why didn't you take to an aero
plane?" member interrupted.
"Ratsr' "Buncomber' Brave boyw
and the like greeted the speaker.
Zone week after the receipt of the
signal" he continued, "the period given
bachelors by this club, 1
met one Of my most respected women
friends on the street. She cut me dead.
The same day met several others and
received the cut direct from all. Here
was. indeed, boycott. You must re-
gentlemen, that, although we
do not wish to surrender our independ-
ence to these creatures, to be ostra-
cized by them is a serious matter. In
time was cut by every unmarried
woman In town. Besides, the most at
married women were honorary
members Of the club and Joined the
boycott.
"And then, gentlemen, appeared the
most alluring feature Of this malignant
scheme. Last Of all my feminine ac-
uuaintances I met the girl into whose
tolls 1t was intended that should fall.
A seductive blush overspread her fea.
lures. a bewildering smile parted her
vermilion lips and showed two rows Of
pearls beneath, then modest dropping
OF the eyes. These women who had
united 10 assist In sharing me were all
denying me the benefit Of their society
for the purpose Of driving me, like an