Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-11-01
Al THE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS OF WOMENS INTERESTS
PATSY KILDARE
THE OUTLAW
BY JUDD MORTIMER LEWIS
A Bad Dream

THINE is going 80 fast that believe l VIII
L be an old woman before I know it.
am awfully glad will not have whiskers OF
bald head. There is a bright side to every
thing in this world II you only look for IT,
! can't see where women get the worst OF IT,
Women don't have to chew tobacco ana
shave and do a lot of things the men do
This morning after got up went In and
sat on the corner of the burglars bed' he
always looks glad to see me coming WnlCh
ls the reason 1 go TO see him lie salu ne
was getting enough sleep to last MN the
rest Of his life and when he got wen anu
could walk on his broken leg he would not
need to 30 to bed any more. That woulu pe
fun II he was my age, for do not ike 70 20
to bed, either and only do 1t because thete
is nothing else to do when all the world ls
asleep, The nurse came in and said ought
not to sit around in my nightie, as II was
not ladylike. l said, But am not lady'
] am no more a lady than you are. Ihen
she looked mad and the burglar laughed ana
then she laughed too.
After breakfast Levy took me to school.
My teacher asked me at recess what hao
been doing over Sunday and she seemed
much interested TO hear about the man VINO
Is hundred years old and about the ola
lady who died. She said ] was regular
pixie, whatever that is / explained that
she was mistaken, for am irish ana prouu
Of It. After school ] went to my house
and ate some peCans and then after dark l
went up in front of the Carpenters ana II
was light inside and / looked in and there
was "A strange man sitting talking TO Mrs.
Carpenter. Pie Face was not anywhere
around SO | went in to see Old Maid TOmp-
kins and she was glad to see me and gave
me some chicken and Rvwdy bone.
When l left Old Maid Tompkins's house
Il Nl,a n
a pickle for a cent. There was Pie Faoa
sitting on the step. said. Hello, kid
He said, Hello yourself" He had his
lap full of candy and / said, Where did
you get all that garbage?" He said, That Is
candy which l bought with my skidoo
money" l said, For cats sake, what is
skidoo money! He said. There is biz
dude who comes t. our house and every
time he comes he gives me quarter and
tells me to skidoo and not come back till
l have eaten everything. He is certainly
an easy mark" l said. Yes, he is, but not
so easy as you are" lie said, How do
you mean, easy?" l said, Don't you know
why that man is coming to your house? He
is going to marry your mother" He opened
his face so wide an all-day sucker fell out
Of it and he jumped and all the candy fell
off his lap.
Then | heard Levy blowing his auto horn
in front of our house, so l picked UP Pie
.
the all-day sucker, After we got to Mr..
ROckrudders Rowdy and ! went for a walk
to see the hundred-year-old man, but the
house was dark. When l went up on the
porch heard him crying and moaning l
tippytoed to the bedroom door and he was
on his knees praying by the bed. He kept
telling God he was a hundred years old. ]
said, For cats sake, God knows that by
heart Either tell Him something else or
say Amen DO you suppose God has moth
ing to do but listen to that?' So he said
Amen" and then he looked up at me. !
said For cats sake, get into bed" So he
did. and pulled the cover up and he said,
Sing" and all I knew was the song my
mother used to sing, sleep, Baby, Sleep"
l sang 1t and he said, Good night, dear
mother. have had a bad dream. / dreamed
that / was an old man and that you had
gone away and nobody loved me- You would
not leave me, would yJu?' l said, Ger
tainly not" and l kissed the old things
forehead. guess / never will have good
sense. He went to sleep holding my finger
Then pulled away and hiked.
When l went to bed kneeled down and
prayed Dear mother which art in heaven
for cats sake ask God to get on the job
and take the hundred year old man home
am glad He did not make the old lady wait
and l hope she has got there, but it was
really the old mans turn instead of hers. I
bet you were glad TO hear from me- Tell God
years old. Amen"
"NIakinE a Rescue" the next Patsy Kildare
adventure, appears In Fridays Evening Ledger