The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-10-13
GOOD MORNING
JUDGE
Damon and Pythiaa.
By RUDOLPH PERKINS.

y Damon and Pythias.
Let the gold dust twins DO your
swiping.
These boys are not exactly twins.
One IL rather light in color and the
other IL rather dark. But they do
all their little odd Jobs together and
they went to Jail together.
They are Bill Jones and Stanwood
Carter. There are lots Of other Bill
Joreses but this is a particular ore.
What ever one does the other does
too. Bill swiped a bicycle 30 did Car
ter. Bill swiped another. So did Car
ter.
Bill carried a razor. Carter had one
but he lost it in q crap game. He
was to have another, but the police
objected.
AS for Carter. he Will be separated
from his side kick for three month";,
because ne get that much less than
Bill Two hundred days for Bill and
$50 for Carter.
Almost Treason.
Certain members Of the Army and
Navy GLIB came near having to get
up from the table with greasy I'm
gers.
Dick Milbu-n WIS employed at the
club and he watched the diners as
they firisned eating their meals. wipe
their fingers very carefully. and fold
up the oapkin.
Fine idea. thought Dick. He would
add a little touch of refinement to his
own table at home, He swiped some
napkins.
A. cop saw them on the line and
noticed the mark of the club on the
corner Of the napkins. :
He Investigated. Then he arrested
Dick, took him and the napkins back
to the club. Judge Pugh told him
that he could have bought napkins in
the s and 10-cent store. In order to
jog his brain a little. the court fined
him IS.
They VIII swipe.
John Addison had been hauling
lumber down in Potomac Park. 1t
was long cool drive by the river
and he had no overcoat
Neither did he have the price Of
one. Well, the only thing for John to
do was to beg. borrow or steal one.
He tried the tyo former methods
ana tney 1dlIeQ bDtOiulely.
When the night Waterman wasn't
looking he swiped his coat. A gov
eminent lumber inspector saw him
make the pinch.
John put the coat in a sack.
Mighty soft wood" said a cop.
well sah," replied John, 81 amt
hauled no hardwood this season"
(tee-hee)
1t was a sure thing that the watch
man didn't want to stand around this
winter and shiver. so they took the
overcoat away from John and locked
him UP.
Judge Pugh assured the Waterman
that he would see that he didn't catch
pneumonia and gave him his coat
back and sent John to jail for sixty
days.
Nice Way to Treat Customers.
"Jedge. All goes into yokamee joint
and dose two Cinnamon were arguing
and dey was afraid All would heah
wot dey said en- dey tole me to git
out. Den dey thowed some hot water
on me en- All thowed a dish at DEM"
Jesse Lucas had been arrested for
destroying private property. He went
into a Chinese restaurant on North
Capitol street the other night. Pekin
Low and Moy Gong were having an
argument In Chinese.
Rather than let Jesse hear what
they were saying they ordered him
out. Jesse thought it was alright for
him to stay as he didn't understand
what was going on.
Low ran back and got q bucket of
hot water and threw it on Jesse. In
the meantime Gong was dancing all
over the place yelling in Chinese Tor
a cop.
Judge Pugh thought that Jesse acted
in self-defense and let him loose.
A Nip and . Nap.
It was 2 O'Clock in the morning, last
sound asleep. The dogs on the front
began to bark.
lowing around on the porch. Wasn't
anybody but Paul Kolig, an Austrian.
who had come around to sleep on
| a jag.
He had been used to sleeping on
this particular porch before the Kings
moved in the house. He had no home.
and so the former tenants Of the
| house let him sleep on the porch
to keep the Watchdog company.
Bill rushed to the door with q stick.
Paul fell headfirst In the door and
down over his head come the stick.
1t broke.
This ought not to have happened
because Bill knew It was no one but
Paul on a toot. II he hadn't both
cred Paul he would have gone to
sleep right where he was.
Testimony showed that he was q
| trifis sore at Paul for something or
other and he thought that this would
be just as good time as any to get
| even. Bill Is out q 80 bill,