Rock Island Argus., 1917-11-14

Jommit 1t was you that pestered me
every time / sat down
ro my paper. You were waiting for
me, no matter the time,
Day or night. but you seemed to be
especially active on
The Sabbath, when, like other men, /
tried to keep
Nv mind free OF ugly thoughts, 1t was
then that you would
Take bite at my ankle through my
thin hosiery. and
Would force me to shift my position
when l had got
seated, You found better
picking on my ankle
And you knew that you were safer
there than on other parts
OF my anatomy because ! am fat in
front and can't bend
Over and get a bead on you like thin
ner person. Once ] did
Put aside the paper and reach for you.
Remember how you
Snickered at me when I sprawled
across the floor as ] made
Pass at you with a book that / had
picked from the table,
And the book flew out of my hand and
knocked over my
Wife's prize fern and broke the bowl
in which 1t was planted
And scattered earth all over a beautl-
full rug that she
Had had cleaned only the week before,
and for which
I suffered scolding on my awkward
ness
And my irritsbility. to say nothing Of
the expense of
Making good the damage ] had done
because of your annoyance?
Then, as> | remember, / returned to
my easy chair. and fell
Asleep. You were not content to let
me alone. You persisted
In making the day miserable for me.
You had fallen in with
A friend who had been in the kitchen
getting his fill,
And the two Of YOU decided to pass
the afternoon atop my
Pate, frolicking on Nude spot that
is expanding gradually
Due to worries such as you impose
on humanity II you had
Remained quiet and joined me in my
snooze it would have
Been all right, but you didn't. You
staged game Of leap
Frog, and when either OF you would
aIight after
Performing your jump your toe nails
.vc4tII 1iy iT4n NV uo2fp
And it hurt. 1t wakened me. / want
ed to be sure Of getting
Both of you, but | realized / eouidnf
do so by making a wild
Pass with my open hand. So I rost
easily, got the swatter
And went to my bedroom, and stool
before the mirror.
There was but one Of you on my heat
when l got bead on it 2
With the aid of the glass. l thinl
you were the guilty one.
Your friend, | took it, had returnet
| TO the kitchen to
| Finish his meal. He didn't find wha
| he could get ont Of my head
To his liking. / saw you rise up a
/ | stood before
The mirror. l decided TO bring N
| arm-my right arm-up arounf
The back Of my head and strike yo'
a gIancing blow so that woul
Stun YOU and drop you to the Zoo
and there crush you with my
Foot You didn't seem in the leas
alarmed. There was
Linoleum on the floor Over this ha
been laid small rug.
I was standing on the rug. As I ben
back to get my aim
You moved, and | saw that I wouI
have TO act quickly if l was
| To get you. AS | swiped | slipped an
/ fell against the
| Dresser, and my elbow smashed th
i mirror, and l cut two fingers.
/ When / recovered my bearings I So
I, you sitting On the
|, Door knob. You were not sorry evel
4 Xpu were
Laughing at me. l headed for th
bathroom to wash the
Blood from my hand. You flew in I'll
room just ahead of me,
And you perched on the edge of tt
TUB When / got cleaned up
; looked at you. l thought you wei
asleep, because you had
Had busy afternoon. A slap with
towel would land
You, | figured. blazed away at yo
and | slipped once more,
The last one TO use the tub havir
left drippings Of water
On the floor and furnished me t
hoggan, which found
With both feet. But I wasn't hu
that time Neither was you
When regained my feet saw VI
! disappear beneath the tub
You thought I would try to follow VI
| there, but fooled
You. So l went downstairs and r
sumed my reading. In the
D Course of an hour, when had grow
calm again. you
4 Reappeared. watched your eve
movement You lit on my
1 Left hand. You must have know
that was a right-hander,
: But you were kind enough to ke
r away from my sore fingers.
: Well, it's a beautiful day for mu
der. It's almost like
Z