The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1917-09-14
WHY SOME ENGAGEMENTS
 ARE CALLED OFF
"Since no longer love you, dear,
 Ah, ask me not, love, to bestow; I'll make it up some other way, , Because you must regret it so.'

An, ask me not, love, to peStoW, I'll make it up some other way,
 | Because you must regret 1t so.
 We hear a great deal about young
 folks carefully considering the great step of marriage and weighing it care fully PshawI How can they con sider we'll that which they know noth- ing about? Some writers declare that young women should be able to choose their own heart-mates, demanding to know why they cannot judge for themselves whether they're in love-, or not. They are cut short, without ado, by a philosophical man, who sums it up in this wise: eff two young persons, or those of any age for that matter, believe that they are truly in love with each other, by all means encourage them to become en- gagged. After this has taken place, they are pretty apt to see whatever flaws they can pick in each other. At this stage the fancied love dies a nat uraI death, or they wed. We have no right to meddle with them further"
 This doesn't assure the average pa rent that 8 girl in her teens is quail fled to enter into such 8 compact with out advice. Her choice is dictated by fancy, not by judgment. Marriage at the best is 8 risk. It is just as well to try to fathom the risks on both sides, as near as can be figured out. One of the sweetest attributes of youth is that young girls are not wont to harbor doubt in their hearts. The knowledge that thefe is such pos sibly as doubt has not come to them.
 It has been claimed that young men take an equal chance with girls in marriage. In general cases this is not true. They can supply the requisites for a comfortable home, or deny more than the necessities of life. A girl must face the risk, as to how much happiness after marriage shall be hers.
 Many father does not consider it worth while to put in his oar, that Is, to interfere with the young man who is calling on his daughter. Not know ing how their attraction for each other will turn out. If a caller proves to be merely friendly, wells and good. It Is not until the young man announces that he and daughter are engaged. that the father takes a hand in the affair. He suggests that it might have been wise to consult parental author ity first, instead of going ahead with their plans. He has to handle spir- tied young man with the utmost care. The young man has ibeen putting his best foot forward.f Let 1t be under stood that he is more of saint than a rogue. What the hard headed fa- ther wishes adroitly, to find out is how
 much of the rogue there Is about him. He knows the ways and habits of men and also, that you may know man for. years, and yet not know him at all, when it comes down to true facts. His sweetheart would believe what ever~-he chose to tell her., regarding his life. e.~4But he will find it quite an- other problem to face a hard cold fa- ther who has outEved sentiment and who would consider it quite draw back if he had lived a gay life.
 If 8 girl has only female relatives, her suitor will get off pretty easily in covering up past escapades. Mothers and aunts and elder sisters cannot pursue inquiries with much satisfac- ton They are more or less handi- capped It is different with a man.