Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1917-12-07

soon shut him from her sight. And
she had struggled so long and filth
fully to hold back the ebbing tide Of
her love for him and love had gone and
carried respect with it, and she, grown
hard, and bitter nd rebelliOus, had
lost the best Of life and so had he.
Sometimes a wife may unwisely seek
to keep the love, loyalty and constancy
of her husband Oy holding him with a
eight rein, by restrictions and limita-
lions that fretted and chafed, by petty
exactiOns and tyrannies to keep him
butterfly in the prison of your palm,
with the slightly-parted, arched fingers
as bars, and, fearing it might escape,
press inadvertently little too tightly
and then be suddenly conscious that
the futtering whirr had ceased
and, opening the bars and peering in,
find that the beautiful wings were
stilled forever and that the butterfly
was dead2
There are men and women who thus
kill love cerelessly; they may have
great love secure, right in their hands,
but there is a pressure of doubt, ty-
ranny, distrust or compulsion and the
life of that love may die. Love grows
strong with freedom, confidence and
trust. Love that needs constant watch
ing is not worth watching, and no
guarding through fear of it's honor will
ever keep it from straying. Its
strength must be in itself and in the
inspiration that comes from realiza-
ton, recognition and response.
There are homes that are over-gov-
erned. They have as many laws, rules
and regulations as an institution. They
remind you of these closely printed
charts for conduct tackled on the inner
side Of doors in hotel rooms. In these
fear Of stepping inadvertently on
"don't" No individual is big enough,
nor wise enough, nor great enough to
dare to live the life Of another, not
with him, but for him. If he were all
these his reverence for the individual
rights of others would make it impos-
sible for him to usurp their sacred
privilege Of freedom in living their Owl
lives, fully, freely, frankly, at their
best.
This domestic tyranny rules in thou
sands Of homes. 1t means the wrong
Of two-the one who inflicts it and the
one who bears 1t. We hear much of
the grace of patience and the beauty
of long suffering. They are virtues
when 1t means self-sacrifice for the
right, vices when for the wrong. Toll
Grating injustice meekly without pro-
test and q mighty effort to overthrow
it when no good cause is served, no
noble purpose promoted is not moral
bravery, it is sheer cowardce 1t is
the fear Of an unpleasant half-hour
that may save years of suffering. The
one who bears meekly is doing injus-
tice to herself or to himself and-to
the other. 1t means weakening and
wronging self and feeding the evil in
another's nature by inaction.
The wife may say che would flare up
in an awful temper if said word"
Let him flare, but let him understand
that you will not be a party to it.
These home bosses are always DULLES
and DULLES are always towards. They
do not stand out long against a bold
defiance that shows no fear. At the
first manifestation Of this variety of
performance, let husband or wife state
positively that no encores win be per-
mitted. At a quiet, dignified session.
with no shade Of anger but just Il
calm, cool ultimatum that while the
innocent one is willing to do the square
thing in every relation, and to meet
bravely whatever the tides of fate may
bring and to suffer for the other, but
never from the other.
Like most evils it is easy to meet in
the beginning and 1t is then it should
be met in the right spirit for the god
of both. A single bold stand for the
right is worth years of cowardly pa
tience for the wrong.
The greatest trials and sorrows are
those that do not come from outside
the home, but are absolutely created
within, that are manufactured for one
by the temper or wrong of the other.
They are absolutely preventable and
there should be q kindly helpful spirit
on the part of both to remove any
wrong that separates them rather than
to intensity the reign Of the wrong by
weak and meekly bearing. 1t is not
selfishness, but the reckless assertion
of individuality. but the consecrated
wisdom that seeks to cure what it can
not endure and to endure what it cam
not cure
Love and sweet conference smooths
out so many of these problems. Let
there be but one boss and that one
the two. Let them unite in loving COM
radeship and fine cooperation. each do
Ing the best without thought of COM
petition or conquest and then even the
wish Of one become the will of both,
In union and unity, with no tyranny
but that Of love, love of right, love of
peace, love Of Justice and love Of each