The Washington times., 1917-12-23

PHYSICIAN sent here from New York
to find out what's the matter with
Washington street cars, reports
that he has spent anxious hours by
the bedside Of the Washington Rail-
way and Electric. Company and finds
there Is no sign OF pulse movement
except at the mention Of dividends.
Speaking Of traffic problems, r.
F. CoGswELL has this suggestion
to make:
Congestion seems to thrive at
Fifteenth and New York avenue.
Why not have the pushers which the
Capital Traction Company employs at
that point to shove people in the rear
end Of the car with such energy that
they almost 60 through the opposite
door, act as conductors when the
cars reach this point and load people
In both ends Of the car. On the north
and west bound cars very few people
transfer at this point during the
evening rush hours"
/ received Q bitter letter complain
ing about Washington. It was the
bitterest two-page typewritten letter
have ever seen. The man said he
came from q "eity" Of rs, 900 inhabi-
tants which is so much better man
aged than this one.
I looked into his case. find he
Is the son Of a rich manufacturer.
He is Of the draft age. He is ac-
cused Of leaving his glorious Middle
West city, reehng with early In
diana mercantile architecture, to es-
cape the draft. He Is certainly a
grand person to be throwing bricks
at this his place Of refuge.
I hear from q fellow townsman of
his that the sister Of this Stacker
said at tea:
"You know, this draft came so sud-
denly that Jack didn't have a chance
to get a commission, and then he
tried everywhere to find an enlist
ment office and couldn't, SO he went
to Washington to help the Secretary
Of War run the army"
ROBERT v. MARYE, the general
counsel for the telephone company,
who has been conducting the hearing
based on the company's request for
a raise Of rates, is q smart man.
Also a smart dresser. His clothes
fit everywhere. He wears neat tan
spats on neat tan shoes. Also he
has the greatest command Of facial
expression have ever seen. If US
ing his face would get q raise in
rates, we would be paying SO q call
for telephone service.
And speaking of the telephone,
don't say this service Is the worst In
the world. l have said so myself, but
l retract and apologize. Ny mind
runs back to a day In Romney, w.
Va, when / dropped in on the tele-
phone company to call up a farmer
in the mountains several miles away.
The telephone Central was an
aged mountaineer, with q beard and
a pipe. l asked him to get me the
farmers house. He said he wouldn't
IleY "OH dubWCLB hC bdAus 4
called 'em up two or three days ago,
and, by dad, they wouldn't even
answer then"
ISAAC GREGG suggests that 1
ask "Who remembers the Six Little
Tailors ?"
WARREN OFFUTT wants me to
announce that the Western High
School Alumni Association will hold
a rally and get-together meeting at
the school on the night Of Decem-
Der 81.
BILLY SUNDAY will not stand
for babes in arms in his tabernacle.
Going the Scriptures one better, !
should say.
DEPUTY HEALTH OFFICER
NORRIS in khaki. / saw him at the
District building Friday. He is a
major now, and looks it.
COMMISSIONER GARDINER
brought out an interesting fact at
the telephone hearings. He found
cut that the holdings Of stock inI