davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
LUCK IN A BLUNDER.
A Story Of Frederick the Great and q
Frightened Ensign.

A Story Of Frederick the Great and q
Frightened Ensign.
During the last evening Of my stay
At Friedrichsruhe Bismarck was at his
best. He was In excellent spirits.
After dinner we lit pipes. and well All-
ed tankards of beer were handy. The
prince seated himself In his long arm
chair. put his feet upon a leg rest, and
evidently he was settled down for a
good talk.
He asked me what l should like him
to relate. l said. pray. SIR. tell me
any story that IN into your head"
Putting vigorously at his pipe. the fol
lowing story was slowly developed:
MY grandfather served for three
years under Frederick the Great and
told me this a%necdote: An ensign made
a blunder during the aneuv OF
troops at a review. The king. as was
his wont when annoyed. fell into a viO-
lent rage and pursued the terrified en-
sign, stick In hand. The young soldier
ran for very life and jumped a ditch.
leaving the king upon the other side
shaking his stick at him in a fury.
shortly after the escape Of the en-
sign the colonel OF the regiment came
up to the king and said, Your majesty,
the young man committed a blunder
doubtless. | have just received his res
Ignation from your majesty's service
placing the document into the kings
hands. I am sorry for 1t. for he was a
good officer. but he can take no other
step under the circumstances
'"The king answered, Send him to
me- The ensign was sent for and
cane. trembling. lest this time the
stripes should In reality fall upon his
shoulders or. still worse. he might be
sent TO prison. Without any preface
the king replied. Here is your captain
cy. sir. which | endeayOred to give you
this morning. but you ran away so
swiftly that my old legs could not
catch you up.'"-sir W. h. Richmond
10 North American Review.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
THE KNOCKER's CREED

The Liberal has no use for a
knocker-a town knocker or a
reputation knocker.
Perpetual fault-fnders are an
abonination. Some of them in
Lordsburg wouldn't be satisfied
if the streets were paved with
gold and the houses built Of
diamonds and rubies.
The Liberal never pays much
attention to the Knockers frater-
nifty. They are as inevitable as
dirt in the road, and amount to
about as much.
Following is the knockers
creed, which The Liberal believes
fits perfectly:
u believe that nothing is right
| believe that everything is wrong
| believe that / alone have the
right ideas. The town is wrong,
the editor is wrong, the teachers
are wrong, the people are wrong,
the things they do are wrong and
they are doing them in the wrong
way, anyhow. l believd l could
fix things if they would let me.
If they don't, | will get a lot of
other fellows like myself and we
will have a law passed to make
others DO things the way we
want them done. / am opposed
to fun and happiest when at a
funeral. l believe in starting
reforms that will take the Joy
out of life. It's a sad world and
/ am glad of it. Amen"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
CALLED Her FAMILY
TO Her BEDSIDE
Six Years Ago, Thinking She Might Die, Says Texas Lady, But Nov
She Is a We'll, Strong Woman and Praise. Crdu For
Her Recovery.

ROyse City. Tex.-Mrs. Mary Kill
man, Of this place. says; after the
birth of my little girl. my side COM
menced to hurt me. I had to go back
to bed. We called the doctor. He
treated me but I got no better. 1
got worse and worse until the misery
was u~nbearable. II was in bed for
three months and suffered such agony
that l was Just drawn up in a knot.
told my husband II he would get
me a bottle Of cardui I would try IT,.
l commenced taking It. however. that
evening I called my family about
me. . for I knew I could not last
many days unless / had a change for
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
Friday April, "a, 1917
COST OF THE WAR

In addition to the "man-power''
that our participation in the
great war will entail in the con-
tribution of which Lordsburg
must and will do her duty-there
is the question Of money.
In 1915 our national debt was
81. $50, 900, 600, or about $40 per
capita. We are beginning the
war by loanipg the allies more
than our entire national debt.
In other words, every time we
loan the allies a billion dollars, it
is the equivalent of every man
woman and child in Lordsburg
loaning them $40. and the same
is true throughout the nation.
But just consider how this
great war is eating up money.
Last year the per capita debt of
Great Britain was $3.50. Proba-
bly, by this time it is around $500
or more than 81, 600 for the aver
age family.
And don't forget, that Indirect
ly, at least, every man, woman
and child in Lordsburg will have
to help pay whatever war debt
Uncle Sam may be inflicted with
through his participation in the
war.
1t isn't the Morgans, Wall
Street and the other great fnan-
ciers who pay the debt-they
only handle the money;they sup
ply other peoples money and get
rich doing it.
And when you add the super
high cost of living, which is
directly traceable to the great
war, the cost of it to every per-
son in Lordsburg is not a subject
for guesswork, put is felt daily.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
WAR TO END SOON

Some of our Lordsburg citizens
seem to think that the European
war is bound to end soon, now
that the United States has taken
a hand.
We mention this as the opinion
of Lordsburg thinkers because
we think their opinion is as valu-
able as that of anyone anywhere
else. An opinion, to be of value
does not need to come from a
large city, from a skyscraper or
from a metropolitan newspaper
office.
The streets and other places
where men foregather in Lords
burg are filled with common
sense observations. And it is
by talking with the average man,
whose mind is not spoiled by
specious thinking and whose
brain is not befogged with tech
nicalities, that one comes to bed
rock in American thought.
The general impression seems
to be that the war will end with.
the addiction of the kaiser and
the creation of a German republic
This opinion, so often met with
in Lordsburg, and repeatedly
mentioned by visitors in the
Liberal Office, seems to us to be
a suppsition that will be mighty
close to fact.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
rhnrn With thn An.wer.

In a public school one afternoon the
teacher was instructing a class In
physiology. and 6nally, In order to test
the memory Of the youngsters. she
closed the book and began TO ask ques
lions.
Willie" said she, addressing a
bright faced boy near the head Of the
class. can you give me a familiar ex-
ample of the human body as IL adapts
itself TO changed conditioner
'SureF' was the confident rejolnder.
MY uncle Jake gained fifty pounds in
less than one year, and his skin never
cracked philadelphia Telegraph.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
LAWYER SAWS WOOD

A. Fibber, the Pumpkin Hill
lawyer and peace regulator, has
been cutting winter wood for
some of his neighbors the last
week or two at the rate of SOC a
day and board. The law bust
ness is a little dull with Amos
lately and that is why he is earn
ing an honest dollar chopping
wood. Amos can do most any
thing with his hands when his
head is not busy.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
THE MIRACLE OF PAINT

There are some houses in
Lordsburg which if given a coat
of paint would look twice as valu-
able.
They would advertise the own
ers as progressive citizens.
Some of us are very particular
as to- our personal appearance,
vet seem to care little regarding
the appearance of the house we
live in.
Paint is one of the finest in
ventions of civilization. Let's
make good use of it in Lordsburg.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Hank Parsnip, who recently
lost his whiskers when a spark
from his pipe set them on fire
has put a fire escape on the pipe
to be prepared for any further
mishaps of this.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
ewastIka I'D AneIent Emblem.

0WN7EINW on NINIVTF IIIII0NIs
The swastika has been employed as
n charm from China to Peru, and
some Psychologists contend that At IL
the most ancient form Of the CROSS
others say that It represents theJsolar
movement. Buddhists affirm that II
means the union of spirit and matter
and then gradual evolution.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

81 Rubbins, who got orders
from his doctor not to drink
nothing but soft drinks hereaf-
ter now takes his finger and
squeezes every handful of liquor
before he swallows it to find out
whether it is hard or soft. ST
says so far he has not bumped
up against any hard ones and
considers himself lucky.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Abe Cornfrke forgot to phi on
his specs Sunday while eating
his dinner and swallowed a fly
without knowing it. His wife
made the discovery when she
saw one of the flies missing out
of the butter.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Custom officials are engaged with an
importer In a dispute as to whether a
O-carat diamond Is worth $4,000 or
$4,000. Yet the thing Is not Al beau
iful as a rosebud. as useful as a cnu-
opener, or rs dlvertlng as a phOnO-
graph record
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Brainy Cord had all the wall
paper taken out of his place a.
bove Slim Plugs Livery stable
this.week. Brainy says his wife
weighs over two hundred pounds
and he needs more room.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Friendship springs up and grows
naturally; Il cannot be planted at will,
Foolish friendships are OFTEN formed
In youth. II Is useless 20 talk against
them. since young people always TO
sent criticism OF their friends. We
must simply tolerate them and trust
10 the ~awakenings Of common sense
10 prove all frivolous friendships false
and unworthy.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27
THE PUMPKIN HILL NEWS

Miss Lu Natick of Mule City
was in Pumpkin Hill Wednesday
walking from house to house and
staring at the walls. We don't
know what she was doing it for,
but we reckon she was looking
for walnuts.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

The gorilla is in stature about the
same as man. but Is far behind him
when 1t comes to the contents Of the
brain pan. The greatest capacity OF
the gorilla's brain is only 3415 cubic
inches. the least %, as against CD in
the least capaeious human skull and
ia In the greatest.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Nifty Higgins says that Sun
day night was the first time in
his life that be didn't fall out of
his bed. He was sleeping in Abe
Cornfake's bed and fell out of
that.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

While out buggy riding Sunday
evening, Mrs. Bill mutton hit a
fence and broke two spokes in
her corset. She got home that
night by substituting two spokes
out of the buggy wheels.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Ben Slivens, who blowed the
first cornet in the Snake River
Band at the last annual rooster
fight last week, is blowing his
nose this week. Ben has a bad
cold.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

And TO compllcate matters still fur
her some Of the prices quoted by the
experts who are telling us how to live
better for less money do not come any
where near agreeing with those OF the
corner grocer.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

The submarine system is oper-
ated right in the United States;
in Grant county, even. What's
the matter with politics-isn't
that largely conducted under the
surface?
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

While walking through the
woods west of Pumpkin Hill last
Monday Bill Snooper saw a SPUR
nest with four eggs in it. Bill
reckons it must have been a fly
ing squirrel that laid those eggs.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

A Long Island girl proposed to .
baker and lie accepted her. Then she
discovered that he already had a wife,
90 she caused his arrest. Soma get
criminal records thrust upon em.-
Detroit Free Press.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

In order to practice economy
they used to tell us ''eat dried
apples for breakfast, drink water
for dinner and swell up for sup
per-" But look how the price of
apples has been advancing in
Lordsburg. It's enough to make
us swell up with indignation.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Nifty Higgins had several
scraps with his wife at the sup
per table Tuesday. They were
left over from dinner.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Some men in Lordsburg tell
their wives everything that hap
pens; others tell them things
that don't happen especially on
lodge nights.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Hank Parsnips is selling some
blind potatoes. The bugs ate
their eyes out.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Mike Soakem, who tried to
beat his wife Monday night, will
be laid up for some time.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Plant the American flag over
your potato patch as protection
to your most cherished posses
sion.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Jim sprint was shot in his tur-
nip patch Monday.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-04-27

Let us print your funeral
notes.
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
GIVING "BUM STEERS"

The Office OF the Milwaukee railroad
in this city holds the championship
OF the universe for getting bum
steers" on the arrival OF trains. A
person can never get any satisfaction
as TO the probable arrival time OF trains
from that source and the fault is not
with the local employees either. Agent
Croghan is one OF the most accommo-
dating railroad agents in the business
and no one deplores this condition
more than he does
The fault lies with the Office at
Claiming. The program as generally
carried out is TO report the train ten
minutes late and then keep moving
its time back until nearly noon. Bust
ness men who want to give as much
time as possible to their work before
going TO the station are frequently
caused 10 lose an hour waiting about
the station for the train when Just
little bit OF effort on the part OF the
office at Charming could remedy the
trouble
This Is matter that Is serious.
Business men get sore on place
when they are continually being
misinformed. II Is very seldom that
an inquirer canot find out within a
fow moments as 10 the arrival OF the
North-W Western trains Once in while
they slip down there but not frequent
ly and there is no reason why the Mil
waukec can't do as well
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
CLEANED HOUSE.
Pres. Johnson Of Iron River Elected
All Old 0fficlals.

President Leon Johnson OF Iron
River Village had his way last Mon
day night when clean sweep was
made and all OF the old officers were
put out and their places filled by
others
One OF the Oldest officers In the
Village was s. Solberg who had had
charge OF the waterworks since there
were any waterworks in Iron River.
He had to step aside as did Chas. Me
Farland. marshal; A. r. Dixon, a viii
lage attorney; DR.. Stevens, health Of
ficer and several others OF the old re
gime whose names we have not.
President Johnson accepted Office
only upon the condition that he should
be allowed 10 make clean sweep and
had he not had his way. II is said that
he would have resigned
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
SEEK CHANGE IN
POOR SYSTEM
SUPERVISORS DECIDE TO INvESTI-
GATE OTHER SYSTEMS
COMMITTEE OF SIX APPOINTED
Three Supervisors and Three Citi-
zens viii Look Into the AdyiSi-
biIity Of a Charge

The Iron county hoard OF superyis-
ors has decided 70 look into the ad-
visibility OF making change in the
system Of handling the poor wards Of
this county The matter came up TO
the board on suggestion of Secre-
tary Rollin of the Iron County Tax
payers Assn. Mr.. Rollin addressed
the board last Monday morning, call
ing attention TO the fact that the
widows pension disbursements in
this county are amounting TO about
81 500 per month; that II is question
in the minds OF many taxpayers if
there is not a duplication; If some OF
the widows who are drawing a pen
sion have not also been drawing
money from the supervisor OF the
township i'm which she resides.
Mr. Rollin suggested that com
mittee be appointed to investigate
this matter and suggested that at this
investigation Mr.. Prater who was
formerly with the poor commission
at Iron Mountain be requested 10 he
on hand and advise the board on the
subject of caring for the poor.
should Change System.
Mr.. Conlin, who was representing
Crystal Falls township IN place OF Mr.
Richards who is absent, was called
upon and he gave Il as his opinion
that an investigation should be made
into the ACCESSIBILITY Of making
change in the handling or the entire
poor system OF the county I'm order
that more Capitalization may be
brought into the work and that the
county board may have an agency
which 1t may be informed at
all times on such matters. He sug-
gested that a committee OF three mem
bers OF the board and three civilians
be appointed TO make thorough in
vestigation OF the poor matter as
whole and take sufficient time so as
to inform the board fully Of the best
method to pursue.
Continued on Page Four)
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
HOME Guard COMPANY.

A number Of the citizens of the com
munity are figuring on forming a
Home Guard company and meet
ing will be held in the Diamond Drill
hall this evening at $40 o'clock at
which time all who desire to join the
company will have an opportunity 20
do so and to give their views on how
n should be managed
The Michigan National Guard has
practically been wiped out by It's ah-
Sorption into the Federal service
The state IS thus left without any adc-
quate force OF its own for protection
in case OF riot or other emergencies
that require the presence Of trained
men. The state legislature has ap-
propriated s5.OoOOOO for the purpose
OF putting the state in condition Of
defense. The Home Guards are
calculated 10 take the place Of the
miiltia and will be provided for III
this ppropriation.
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
NO SALOONS AT AMAsA.
A Petition Has Been Filed Asking that
Surety Bonds he Not Accepted.

It's grave question whether Anna
sa will have a saloon or not Accord
ing to the statute. II petition Is fled
with township board asking that
surety bonds be not accepted and that
petition is found to contain a major
ity Of tile electors Of the township.
that municipality is estopped from ac-
.cepting such bonds for saloons
This same matter came up In Amasa
several years ago and saloons were
put out 81 business through II Those
who stood back Of the move then have
evidently not forgotten the success
that they met with and they propose
10 stop the opening OF saloons there
now.
The matter is now being investi-
gated by Prosecuting Attorney Nc
Donough and if he finds majority OF
the electors represented upon the pc
tition he will see that no license Is
issued.
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
AN IRON RIVER IDEA.

A gentleman who had been at Iron
River several days this week was,
visiting here Thursday and tells this
story A committee was appointed at
the general meeting held last Monday
night on Red Cross work. This COM
mittee was composed OF women and
meeting OF the women was called 10
consider Red Cross work in that vi
cinity A large attendance was pres
ent when the question OF what the.
ladies might do TO help the soldiers
arose Various lines Of work were
suggested but the one finally decided
upon was the making OF pajamas for
the boys in the trenches
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
TO LIST ALIENS.
Prosecuting Attorney Got Orders from
Government 10 Make List.

Prosecuting Attorney McDonough
had an order from the federal govern
ment to list all aliens I'm this county.
This order came as war measure
and Is in the line OF a precaution. both
for the government and for the aliens.
The same order has undoubtedly
been given out to all counties OF all
states In the Union so that IN very
short time the federal government
will have pretty fair idea of where
the aliens are and who they are.
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14

A quiet but very pretty home wed
ding was solemnized at the home of
Captain John Erikson, superintendent
OF the Dunn mine, Wednesday. April
IL, the Rev w b. Coombe officiating
The bride. Edith Alberta Erikson,
is the second daughter or Mr. and
Mrs. John Erikson. and granddaugh-
ter OF Mrs. l.. ID. Rowley
The bridegroom is Mr.. Lewis Bur
ridge of this city. formerly of Benton
Harbor. Michigan.
The out-of-town guests were Madam
l.. r. Burridge OF Benton Harbor.
mother OF the groom. and Mr. Bur
George. who resides with his grand
parents. Mr. and Mrs George ID. Nau
OF Green Bay. wis.
The home was tastefully decorated
with hot house plants and flowers OF
yellow jonquils, white sweet peas,
margurites. smilax and ferns.
The bride wore q gown OF white
crepe de chene and carried n shower
boquet OF lilies OF the valley. bride
roses aud gardenia
Following the impressive marriage
service. a dinner was served I'm four
courses Covers were laid for four
teen. Appropriate place cards mark
ed the places al the tables Yellow
tea roses decorated the tables as
favors
Mr. and Mrs Burridge went by the
evening train for Chicago and other
points and will visit at Benton Har-
Dor. Mr.. Burridge's former home, be
fore returning to Crystal Falls. where
they will reside
Mrs. Burridge is one OF Crystal
Falls most popular girls. was born
and raised here and Is we'll known I'm
her community After graduating
from Crystal Falls high school she
took a four year course at Northwest
ern University, at Evanston. Ill. spe-
cializing IN music She taught IN the
Alpha schools last year and this re-
signing to become Mrs A. l.. Bur
ridge
Mr. Burridge Is ono OF the best
known road builders In the west He
occupies the position Of county en-
rineer for Iron county and ~ presi-
dent of tie Upper Pcninula Road
Builders Association.
The happy young couple hayc tho
hearty good wishes of this clmmuni-
" for a long happy and prosperous
life
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
IRON RIVER LICENSES.

The village council OF Iron River
had a hard time getting together upon
the question of who should have the
licenses in Iron River Village but they
finally got together last night and
issued licenses as follows:
One license to Mr. Wooster and.
Leonard Deidrichs for the Boyington
House; another license 10 f. X Leo
nard and Jim Swift; another to
seequin and Henry Bies and another
TO Tom Sensiba and Flanagan
BY compelling the applicants to
couple mp they succeeded in putting
eight men into business instead OF
four
This same plan was followed in Pa
latka and II worked so we'll that the
Iron River people decided TO follow H.
The diamond drill., 1917-04-14
SUSPENDED AT FORTUNE LAKE.
No More work VIII BE Done Mt That
Property Until Conditions Change.

Gen. Mgr. Hopkins OF the oglebay-
Norton interests visited this city last
Saturday and ordered suspension Of
operations at the Fortune Lake prop
erty OF the company The workmen
were busy all week taking up the
tools and equipment and getting the
property in shape 20 close down for
an indefinite period.
The Fortune Lake property has not
been developed into the mine stage
as the drift had only reached the vi
entity OF the ore body Just what Is
on the property is still a question.
IL Is known that the ore out there
n very similar To that OF the Bristol
and for that reason il will not be
necessary To mine any of 1t for the
Bristol property can easily supply all
OF the ore OF that class that Is needed.
II Is probable that no more work
will be done al the Fortune Lake for
several years.