The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-01-14
l||!|lHEN E|Ia.Apl!!Ds|
Fruit Wrapped in Papers
and Polished Makes No \
l.. e.. Hit With Father.

i. b
she. they ain't,'s said the nice old
gentleman With sudden energy, when
I'M. married. daughter had called his
attention TO a window display OF fruit
and asked him whether the things
weren't, beaqtiful
sae nodded his head still more ener-
gatichlly when she cried out in pro-
tent. Now. take them apples!" he
ssaid. 4 expect you're. crazy about
those apples! Why. there were grown
men who ought to'ye been hard ut
work earning their daily bread. stand.
ing there with their noses glued to
that windsw, staring at those baskets
OF ;Applcs, with their mouths watering!
shucks! wouldn't give 2 cents a
bupshel for apples like that!'
what do you mean, father" asked
his married daughter helplessly.
'Tll tell you what I mean," the nice
old gentleman offered. '1ll admit that
those apples w1s,e handsome works OF
art and far too good to be true. 1t
doesn't seem possible that they grew
on just common ordinary trees that
got blown and hailed on and lit on
by birds and bugs that were hungry
and inquiring,, does It? They might
have been made by some of these fell
lows who do things like your. enam-
eIed lamp. they're so shiny and have
such wonderful color.
: ~ (, -. 80 -
"Somehow. you don't dast side up
to an apple like that in a friendly way.
You feel that II, should be in a glass
case and 10 cents asked at the door.
It's too pretty for ordinary uses-you
have seen women like that, Susie!
That one who came to see you about
the bridge club yesterday, who looked
as Though she'd melt If she got rained
on! Why I'll bet the men who grew
those apples sit up nights and say
prayers over 'em and bark. at their
wives and pace the floor and make
dOggone nuisances of themselves all
the while the apples are growing, for
fear they'll get sunburned too much
on one side or be a hairs breadth big
ger on one end than the other!
II don't like an apple that comes to
me all dolled up in a separate wrap
per. as though it was a gold watch
and expected me to knock my head
three times on the floor before it!
That isn't my idea Of an apple at all!
When I want an apple l want to go
down cellar and fish around in bar
reI'and drag out as MANY as 1 like
without having to consider that I am
eating up 5 or 10 cents with each
apple That takes away from the fla
vor. somehow! Why. we always had
APPLES by the barrel in the cellar at
home"
what were those long, pointed pale
yellow one?" asked his daughter. sud
denly.
"Sheepnoses." promptly said her
father. THAT was the tree just be-
You'd the pump. l expect you couldn't
find Sheepnose in Chicago today il
the whole police department drag
Melted the city! They have enameled
names to match their marvellous coll
orings: Those Sheepnoses were lick
ing good. too! You always tore down.
stairs the minute you got home from
school and came up with one in each
hand, Susie! Nobody said anything
II you gave 'em to all the kids in the
neighborhood. I'D like to see your
Estelle lead pack of youngsters out
into your pantry and tackle .ne choice
dozen of gold plated apples you'd just
ordered in. pawning your tiara to pay
for them!
'And we always had a barrel or so
Of cooking apples. so that an apple pie !
or bowl Of sauce created no excite |
nent or comment on the increasing
wealth OF the family! We ate apples
just as naturally as we drank water,
Instead of having a brass band play
when the fruit bowl is brought in and
set before the pyerpowered guests. 4
"Somehody usually popped corn to
go with 'em, too! YOU wouldn't think |
Of hswhIx papcorh with those fruit |
store. "a pplesssanys more than you'd. put
r)Ase on your, new velvet !
party gown, now would you?
t4a -
'Ian Just as unhappy s,rR0unded by
these; news,,apple dreams they have
us Il can be! I'm not COM
fortahles. aEscan't eat one and stay
calm. 81 !; fee1,as though l. should have
prime minister on one. side of me
and the council of state on the other
and the 4.opulace yhlurrahing on the out
side and the herald booming the news,
that I've just bitten into An Apple. and,
II the excheduer holds out / intend
reckiessly and extrayagantly to finish
it! 1T 5ain't NATURAL tell you, when
you consider what "a modest. COM
Portable thing an apple ought to be-"
IAN right" said his married daugh-
ter cheerfully c5"Ilf see II can find
some OF the old kind for you when
go to market next time--the kind
that are specified and have soft spots
on the far side and usually a worm
hole or two. Il want to make you per-
fectly happy. father. while you arc
with me.' w
"AW!" said the, nice old gentleman