The Butler weekly times., 1917-08-09
SUNBEAMS

~ right intentions. bu
the wrong desires
1any way, my appli'
cation for vacation was not grant
ed and SO you and are both losers
lose the pleasure (if such there be-
of few days rest in vacation and
you will probably lose the time II
takes to read Sunbeams, as it takes
some time to find anything in 'en
worth readin'. Someone wants tc
know what my ideas of war are. III
only say that they are vague and in
definite, but thar amt worryin' me
SO you'd notice it, The time may
come when the old men will be
called to the colors. I'm sort OF
cheerful opportunist and never wor-
ry about situation until it presents
itself. l have the same confidence in
my ability to point a rifle straight
at German (if need be) that have
in pointing shot gun at jack snipe
or of being able to handle any 9th
er emergency that may confront me.
/ claim it's no indication of coward
ice to avoid danger when possible or
to run Gf you are scared). On the
contrary | consider it display OF
rare sense and darned good judg-
ment.
Say, do you know what a pessimist
is? I'll tell you. He Cor she) is a
pest. All right, you say, but what is
pest? Just the reverse. A pest is
always pessimist-alWays bear this
in mind and neither of 'em will ever
be able to deceive you. ~
Live within your means. Don't go
broke tryin' to ape folks who have
more dollars than you have cents
Nor sense.) They don. respect you
and only laugh at your puny efforts.
Stay m the class where you belong,
Vou1l be happier. -. "a
Question-If person who likes
books is called book worm" what
would call feller who likes fish.
Oh, yes, | see you are next But
you don't know what you are next to-.
The heather is rarely afraid. of
death and the hereafter until he has
been converted. The same may be
said of some so-called christians.
They are perfectly good christians
in just so far as they find the faith
cheerful and picturesque as well as
remunerative. (Bill Sunday to the
contrary Notwithstanding
A party who has weak legs wants
to know the cause of it Cor them).
Well, there are several reasons. By
xolly, do you know I'm some at
fiicted Oately) with the same COM
plant. But l attribute the malady to
a different cause. My weak legs are
a direct result of the haunting
thought that ! may have to go te
war. Yes, sir and blamed if dom
believe there be Others
Is lemonade healthy drink:
Well, now, I'm not NJ. D. No, no.
nothing like that, but would volun-
teer the opinion that at present prices
of sugar and lemons, lemonade
should be used sparingly and in small
doses. No. lemonade is not (a'
presently at all healthy.
often see people who act intelli
gent and don't look it. Likewise
meet fellows every day who look in
telligent and couldn't (or at least
don't) act it.
What is the most valuable thing II
all the world to you? The thing thai
is absolutely indispensable to you
which you can't do without (ane
look we'll next day.? The thing thai
possibly you think less about thar
you do of more trifling things? Car
any of you tell me what it is? Yes
YOU have guessed it. It's the nex'
minute.
Recently poor person asked smt
this, "What can be done for NOSE
that runs and turns red in cole
weather." "By golly." says, IL
/ had snoot like that I'd leave thu
pesky thing at home and stay clos
by it, or else do as quite few folk
are doin', viz: poke said snoot intt
some one else's biz and (get !
knocked off. I shore would.
Runs and turns red, gee whiz!
Foolish questions? Yes. One lik'
this was asked me t'other day
"How much powder would it take t.
blow Kaiser Bill into the sea.
answered that I hadn't given the mat
ter very serious thought, but at |
rough guess ] would say that !
would take about the same amour
that would be required to blow tn
brains out of the fool who would asl
such a question (prov;ded he ha'
any brains.)
Another party wants to know tn
cause of ringing in the ears. Tn
chief cause was (several years ago
fad among women land some men
to wear rings in the ears. Henc
the term. The practice 10 now obso
lete, but it is quite. common for hog