Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-27
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THOSE BABIES.

THOSE BABIES.
Boracie Sanitation Brown
Is sure the best-kept babe in town.
Each morn they sterilize his clothes,
His shimmy shirt and WOODEN hose.
They disinfect his teething rings;
His bibs-and all those other things
And boil his bottle and his mugs,
To kill the microscopic bugs.
They wash his dresses till they re +
clean
AS anything you've ever seen;
They fumigate the house complete
And keep his playthings clean ana
neat.
The curtains, tables. chairs and rugs 1
All smell of antiseptic drugs.
Boracic Sanitation Brown
Is sure the best-kept babe in town. |
But somehow. he doesn't thrive and |
grow
Like other babies that we know,
For instance there is Jim Dirt Green. |
He's sure the worst-kept babe we've
seen.
He laughs at dust and you can trace
| The dirt on neck and ears and face;
| He gets no antiseptic dope
| And doesn't know the use of soap,
He crawls around the dusty floor.
Ten hours a day and maybe more,
And | have never, never seen
Him wear a dress that's half way
clean.
He cheys the corner of the rugs
And hunts all day for flies and bugs;
Yes. he's a caution-Jimmie Green
He's sure the worst-kept babe we've
seen.
/ But he's as healthy as an OK
And active as a jumping box.
And Husky Jimmy Dirtproof Green
Might get real sick if he were clean.
4 Chi Gamble in Home Magazine.
Il WAS wondering whether 1t
wouldn't be in order, in view of the
recent brilliant offensive on the west
ern front, for the allied governments
to pass d vote Of tanks to General
Byng?" postcards Ignatz from some
, where in Illinois.
IT wouldn't be surprising if that
Eliza crossing -the-ice stunt staged by
, the second daughter of the deposed
, king of Russia wouldn't land her III
t the show business in America. Broth
81 l. r Frohman, you may have noticed,
is a member of the Russian aid COM
tmittee with which it is announced she
| is to labor during her sojourn among
lus And Brother Fr0hman isn't over
e looking any bets like the beautiful
daughter of one of the European royal
households as means Of fattening
his personal bank roll.
l SIR: Wife and I had an argument
l at dinner last evening over the color
of Senator ]. Hamilton Lewis wh1sk'
y ers. She insisted that they were o.
/ pink hue. / damurred and claimed
they were dark, basing my contention
on the fact that if they were any othel
Il | color The Argus would have said so
Your paper let EN- ride as dark in th'
= issue of last evening, and took /
u for granted that is the color our dis
- t.uguished senator is wearing then
:, this year | mention this just to prov
: to you my faith in The Argus and it
news. But in order to settle the dis
: pute to our mutual satisfaction wifi
- and l have agreed to fall into from
- seats at the hall where the senator i
i to speak when he visits Rock Island
e H. L. P.
a THE railroads are talking pool agar
l. Keep your eye on the white bali.
l. SPEAKING of names, we are re
1t minded by our famed patryonmic scou
< Pansy, that Dr. julius Filler is der
" list in New York City and that
TO HOMESTEAD is zeal estate dealer an
at Box G. Co. are undertakers in Ontario
COAL is coal these days, Eve
lie slack is, reports F. c., who says h
l. drew about a ton of this grade in
it recent consignment that he purchase
le from his dealer. when / CON
III planned" continues our correspondent
at my dealer congratulated me, e2
planning that precious few of hi
patrons got such large amount {
G. the so-called slack. But he prOteste
H. that there was no stacking being don
g. by the dealers this year, as in til
of past. He said that the fine coal thu
lie was delivered at my place once ha
an represented Jumps of regulation sig
but that the latter were so rich
quality that they just naturally fe
apart when they bumped together, an
l would find it a great burner an
he heat generator. Can you beat it,"
n STREET CAR COMEDY.
re Who are you knitting the sweat'
ny for? George?"
,se How did you guess?"
he "Oh. | had heard that you we
'er the last one to bid him goodbye
om the station"
in You got it right"
ere Hear from him often"
me Every day. He's just been pr
RS. NOTED"
of What is he, lieutenant or som
a thng?"
of Il don't know what his title is, b
zen he told me in his last letter that
is allowed TO sleep later in the NOR
csc ing now than he was when he fiji