The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-27
The Gentle Art

GA view writes enteTtalnlngly Tn praise of breakfast While one may subscribe to his views in regard to the brightness and joyousness of the morning meal-under normal clrcum- stances, when it is not negotiated after a night of dissipation-when he begins to consider the breakfast book, the average person is bewildered.
 Perhaps the writer is one of those fortunate individuals who has time to read at breakfast-and read some thing more solid than a newspaper. If so, it is all very we'll for him to speculate. upon the author whose works are best suited to oatmeal, sausage, wheat cakes, breakfast food or whatever the individual taste may require.
 For something like 99 men out of 100 breakfast is a mad scramble, eaten in haste, with one eye on the clock and the other on the morning newspaper. The man who nerves him. self for a sprint to catch a suburban train, after gulping down his coffee and snatching few bites of toast, or whatever is placed before him, has no time to ponder over volume of philosophy. He must be up and do- ing, or lose his job.
 There are doubtless persons of am- pie leisure who read books at break fact. College students have been known to glance over few pages in prepara- tion for quiz, but the vast majority of working males cannot indulge in such luxury, even if they so desired. l For them breakfast is more or less of hollow mockery. The programme is "eat and run" And unless they get on in the world and acquire a competence that is their slogan as long as they are able to do either.
 The women who were on board that Hughes. special are still making eXpla- rr,,-- Coll Ina ava am. pie of Mr. Hughes. He quit explaining long ago,
 Governor Holcomb of Connecticut says this is a time for heart searching. It is also a good idea to continue searching suspicious looking providers of Teuton de- scent.
 Dr. Jenkin Lloyd Jones says the~oorre- spondents on board the Oscar II were un- fair. In other words, they couldn't resist the temptation to write humorous stuff
 French peasants are now shouting "Vive
 
 la Francev who hardly dared to open their mouths when the Teutons were around.
 A magazine publishes an article entitled '"The Morals of Pittsburg," which seems to indicate that Pittsburg hasn't any morals.
 lGermany, President Wilson may have tc go into the decorating business on large scale.
 If Kaiser Wilhelm and King Constan- tine can't read the handwriting on the wall, they should consult an oculist al once.
 Secretary Daniels wants men for the navy. They don't have to express q fondness for grape juice to get in.
 The former Czar of Russia will prob ably be kept imprisoned until there is nc chance for him to 'come back
 
 With China and Venezuela standing soldly behind him, Uncle Sam isn't afraid of those pesky U-boats. The German newspapers are not devot ing much space these days to eulogies o , Woodrow Wilson. t Prepara tions to harvest the June brid crop will soon be under way, regardless !, of war clouds. l If the Kaiser is half as bad off as tn v press dispatches say he is. he's dea man.
 Gentle spring will merely make a wors n inferno of the war zone. f Add to high cost of living: Gasoline. l. <. cents per gallon. r Bathing suits are blooming-in the fast c ion plates