Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1917-10-12
nI0nIII HTl0u of last issue to actual got
GlkGuLAliUN subscribers............... UJi
WE GET THE GOAT AND HITCH
TT IN IT'S STALL

deIJlIlS Ole 10 tiic SNii'O'i
tiOus term for mental condition
which is reached by a continued SER
les of situations. so arranged and clas-
Sjfied as to be self-emphaSiZel and
especially irritating to the goat owner,
if he or she may have neuraSthenlc
tendencies or is clutching the rail- or
the tObOggOn so that when the bottom
is reached. the inevitable bump will
be neutraliZed.
Now then. all alienists will tell you
i'm scientific terms that the goat owner
is usually a super-eg0tist or, as 1t was
brought out in the Thaw trial as a
factor in Jurisprudence and plea IN
defense for various sins OF omission
and commission, he is suffering from
exaggerated ego"
Therefore when the proprietor OF
well-fOrmed, full-grOwn, well-broke
stand-without-h itching goat, leads the
animal over to us and insists that
we've cot it and asks where the stall
is in which we keep our herd and then
slObbers all over three columns with
small-pica type telling us that we have
his goat, why we just naturally con-
clude that the brainy gent is right and
tie the Billy in the stall labelled Elk
clusivcly in the NewS-Budget.'
But the goat has so long been fed
on a lot of food stuffs which we do not
carry in stock: jealousy, carping critl-
cism. peeyishness, blue devils, petty
1lxT iPn6
nothing on the whole of Gods green
fOotstOol done just to suit. pecking
away at neighbors, injection OF
splenetic personal bias into the re-
port of news events, warped mental
vision with evidence of neurOtic symp-
toms closely affiliated with gangrened
disappointment. as well as socialism
gone to seed and the ragged edge i.
W. w. stuff in bales. and other like
food preparations, that we fear the
goat is billed for a hard time.
None of this food is here for the
goat. Life is pleasant in the News
Budget office In spite OF war
and world troubles the sun shines
and men and women and children
come and go and laugh and play and
do their bit without being sour and
disagreeable and grOuchy and telling
everybody that everything has gone to
heck. We are going to feed that goat
on some of these visions of hope and
beauty and the glory of this earth OF
which the people generally have an
abundance and try to give 1t few
lessons in contentment and optimism.
But we have no intention of enter
ing into controversial discussion with
which the public is not deeply con-
cerned. The News-Budget is too busy
getting the news and printing it and
attending to a growing and prosper
Gus business. The goat which we have
now got i'm fee simple was unfortunate
Iy brought up in the office of an adv0-
cate and not a newspaper. He belongs
to the days of the pamphleteers and
is not of 1917, when a neWspa-
per's function is to print the news
1t is a waste of lather to shave an
ass. Also the experiment has been
tried and always failed of making a
silk purse out of a sOw's ear and the
goat that has come to us is too
old, badly trained too lacking in many
Of the finer attributes that make life
pleasant, too stubborn. too conceited,
too full of the same vinegar that mar
red the life of Old Scrooge, too soured
on this world and too full of pure pea
nut peSsimism to enjoy heaven and
too near like the boss of hell to APP
preciate that place, and therefore we
shall retain him as goat only, and
not attempt to make real newspaper
man out of him.