Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-20
The Barber on Baseball

Hair cut, meester7 ALA right. Nc
short, eh? Justa treem? All right
Hey, boy, breenga da paper fol
dees jantleman, so he can ecmprova da
| eenside hees head while 1 am feexin' da
outside. Dat'sa joke. meester; las time
you was here you joka weeth me, you
know. 81 see you turna first for
da sporta page. Wat you theenk for da
| baseball?
Eth? Wat l know bout baseball? /
| know playnta bout basaball. No, amt
nevva play dees basaball, but wan time
was how you call "Ompyra"-da fallow
dat ees like policeman for da game an
say who gotta move on an who can stay.
Wal, eet was wan time wen Unione Q
Fratellanza was play against da Mala-
tesla Macaroni Factory. Dey electa me
for "Ompyra" baycause 1 don't got som
frands on both sides-an', anyway, 1
amt scare for nobody. l jus do like I
please, an amt taxa no notice for no.
body at all, not even for da fallows cen
da crowd dat was always maxim bets
for wheech side gona ween.
Wal, l amt gona tai you evratheeng
dere ees nanny theengs you would not
ondrastand-even so deed not. But eet
ees enough you should know dat da Mala-
tesla side ees always more strong dan
da othra side onteell almost da game ees
ovra. Eth? Yes, ninth eening"; da lasta
chance.
Wal, den stands da measure for da
game so: Malatesta Macaroni Factory,
25 runnings; Unione e Fratellanza, 22 run
nings. Dere ees three men jompin'
aroun' on da base, so dat eef Pasquale
Scarpa, who ees now stand up weeth
hees club, shall heet da ball playnta hard,
mebbe' so dey ween da game.
Den ees com from da crowd a leetla
boy, an he geeve a note to Pasquale He
look at da note an he put eet cen hees
pocket; an den hees legs ees baygeen to
shake, an firsta theeng you know he ees
meess da ball three times. Dat'sa wan
out!
Nexta COM Tony Torquato. So, too,
wen he TAXA da club for heet da ball, also
to heem ees COM da leetla boy weeth da
note. He do da same like Pasquale.
Dat'sa two out!
Next ees Joe Piccirelli W. en-, too, da
boy ees com TO heem weeth da same
kinda note like da othras, he look at da
note an he bow vera low to da crowd,
an den-here ees COM da ball from da
peetch! Joe he sweeng hees club
Bang! Eet ees homa rum"
Den evrabody cry to Joe: Bravo!
bravo" an he ees vera proud an happy.
But pretta soon to heem CONS Pasquale
and Tony; an Pasquale say to heem:
"Brava man. but who ees gon' TAX care
da wife an family?" An Tony say:
How long you theenk you gona be
alive?"
Den Joe he gat vera white, an he say,
wat you mean?" An dey say, "Da
note" oh" he say. II only justa look
at eet queeck. wat does eet say?" An
he TAX Get from where eet was cen hees
pocket.
You see, dees Joe he no can read at
all! So Tony he read da note for heem:
Eef you heet da ball. you are dead
man. BLACK HAND.
Wat? No, my frand eet ees not da
real Blacka Hand at all, but JUS SOM of
dose fallows cen da crowd dat was bet
tin der money on da Malatesta Maca.
roni Factory for ween da game. But
Joe he don'ta know dat; an so, baycause
for hees eegnorance agen, he MAX anud.
der "homa rum" An dees time eet was
longest home run dat anybody deed evra
max cen da CANA baseball. For da nexta
day he sat on boarda sheep an sail for
Italy an nobody ees nevva see heem here
no more.
Eth? Wat you say? Yes, know; da
baseball ees round but da game ees
square. Mebbe so, but notta for me!
Good-day mister. Next