New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-10-21


going.
No. 40,26O Delaware was in town the
other day with the scalps of twenty-six
towns dangling in serrated array IN
side and outside the top, which was
kept up to display 'em. Noted that
Delaware thinks it's stunt to have
been in Passaic, N. j. Mebbe so, mcb-
be so.
Bought real farm honey at the sign
of the Golden Bee up on the state road
the other day. Regret to report that
the farmer" who sold it didn't melt
all of the granulated sugar in the syrup
he used. Some ones always taking the
sweetness out Of life.
Chauffeur for one Of these politicians
who has a one-numeral license says,
"Never again!" Next year he will DO
as the wise ones do-wait until the
licenses are running in five numbers.
He has been reported by other motor
lists eight times for careless driving
lust because they can remember his
number.
Now's the season Of the year to read
all the auto editors advice about nix
ing the car up for the winter. and
then spend every spare minute hum
ming around in the golden sunshine.
Ever try chewing gum to hold the
water in a leaky radiator following an
accident far away from repair? plas-
ter of it will reduce the leakage so you
can 90 an hour or so.
Friend of mine found the twenty
seventh attachment for his Ford
t'other day.
There's a new non-freezing chemical
on the market that comes solid or in
powder and is said not 10 evaporate.
One charge in the water lasts all
winter. Great stuff Ny dealer never
had an auto himself but he's going to
hire some one to try it before he sells
It to customers.
To make patent prismatic lenses
stay straight, which they often wont,
lust put a little shellac inside the
bottom Of the rim to hold glass to rim.
The pretty girl driver who broke
Jim F.'s lamp the other day by smash
ing into one corner of his car told
him she was looking at him so intently
that she forgot to watch where she
was going. And all he remembered
was a fash of blue eyes and pretty
teeth and not the number of her car
The state road up Binghamton way
is open again-that vicious detour IS
ended.
Up .he Hudson last week saw an
owner-driver pointing out to the trust
ing better three quarters OF his fam
lily "thc magnificent residence of John
D. Rockefeller" It was the State Hos
pital.
Think il would be real nice to be
arrested by that smiling traffic police
man at Lafayette and Grand streets.
One thing. his signals are always per-
fectly easy to understand. Not so with
all others.
A greater prize than that awaiting
the maker of two-cent gasolene awaits
the magician who invents a woman's
headgear that will at once hold the
hair in and be becoming.
These steamy mornings, wipe your
mirror off carefully so you can see the
motor cop before he catches up.
BY the way, won't somebody eluci-
date the mystery of the green gaso-
lene man of Farmingdale. What be-
came of that cheap product?
Jim Fast came in from Sans Origine
named after the new town in France
where all the cables come from-L. l.,
the other day on kerosene. He was
stuck without gas and had to, but said
he had no serious trouble.
It's when you're leaving the small
towns and the houses are thinning out
and you unconsciously step on the
pedal: it's then that the motor cop
rides up behind and says: "Stop that
carr
Those fellows never show themselves
where you enter the town; oh, never!
Yet if it weren't for these much OBJ
irrigated gentry none of us who drives
for pleasure would ever dare take the
road If il weren't for the motor cops
the automobile business wouldn't be
the fourth biggest in these United
States. So much in justice.
lust the same | wish they wouldn't
all look square at one with that specu-
lative CLINT in their eyes, as If they
we're bordering, 81 wonder II that's
another victim"
For every automobile in the United
States there's f1ivver.
Returning over a strange road IN the
dark, Jim Fast came to a fork. Right
led into a barn door apparently, left
went on about its business. He
wheeled sharp left and took rough
hill. then found himself between A
canal and railroad on a narrow COW
path overgrown with weeds. He had to
back half a mile down that road with
only foot TO spare on either side in
the pitch dark. Then he found the
barn door he had lodged was the COW
cred bridge he had crossed in the OPP
posite direction in the morning.
No matter what the owner says is
the matter with the car. take out all
the spark plugs first and clean them
off. Be especially sure TO do this If
the owner tells you the last two me-
chsnics did the same thing the two
preceding days. Zone dollar. please"
On one Jersey detour Old Man Care
full had to back through the sand
t'other day. Couldn't make it on first,
he found His sympathies went out 10
the fellow who broke his forward gears