Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-10-13
.sp.eiL s,.r. pull.,,s corr.spondeue.l

HILo, Hawaii. october ). - Pete
nee Is getting tired Of II. Tired o
gathering up portions OF human beings
and fragments OF automobiles anS
motorcycles that are most regularly de
posted at his front door in the regioI
of Twenty-nine miles, somewhere
near the Volcano. Peter has cause Il
feel oppressed and his tale of woe Il
one that should touch the hearts ant
pockets of the county fathers.
Peters PLANT
THAT reverse curve in front OF my
home Is the limit declares Peter
The number OF automobiles and
motorcycles that have struck the earth
bank during the past six months simp
" staggers the imagination. ! have
been kept busy picking up spokes
rim, parts OF windshields, radiators
tires, tubes, tenders. running boards
and lamps-all of which have BON
harded my residence until at times
have fancied that | was in Flanders
I'm tired OF il and am aRo physical
wreck from having TO do ambulance
stunts in the way of picking up bleed
ing and unconscious chauffeurs and
passengers and conveying them to my
domiciIiary edifice. Shell shock must
be bad enough, but reverse curve,
shock has it backed off the boards in
L. opinion.
Disturbed Home
81 am getting tired of being awaken.
ed in the middle of the night by hav'
ing an auto wheel break through my
front door and wind up its career half
under my bed. Wire spokes have been
flung through my windows and tan.
gled UP SO that they resemble their
rSharbed cousins in France. Auto lamps
1Taye sailed through the air and finally
have descended through my roof in
an exact imitation Of Hun bomb
dropped on a home for children in
London. I'm getting tired of 1t all.
What do the county supervisors think
my house is--an auto repair shop, a
hospital or a morguef At times It
rather resembles the latter delightful
resort. Take for instance the time
that a Japanese chauffeur with a full
load of his countrymen banged into
the earth bank on the curve. Why the
air was full Of Nakimotos and Ritchi-
kawas for two minutes afterwards.
Never was there such shower of sub
jects of the Mikado seen before.
when the Japanese contingent
landed in my front garden and imme-
Siately did an extra roll so as to take
the lanai and Immediately consolidate
their positions, was sound asleep.
When the crash came instantly
Jumped out OF my bed and reached for
my first-aid-kit. That habit has be-
come automatic with me nowadays.
I can tie up an artery with the best Of
the doctors now and as for fractured
skulls, well. Just give me a chance in
France, or Belgium against some of the
Huns.
preparedness" 10 Slogan
Preparedness Is our slogan at
Twenty-nine miles. II needs to be for
one never knows what may land in
the family soup pot by way Of reverse
curve. 1t may be an old shoe, gal
lor OF oil or a finger or two, so one
has to be careful.
The first japanese who arrived on
my lanai muttered something about
No use sun of bridge; me make
and collapsed. He had hardly passed
off before number two staggered up
and. Hopping on top of number one,
remarked. All time pilikia; no use;
more better shoot Sam
Both men were bleeding like a
bayoneted Belgium baby and ! had
an awful job patching them up. How.
ever, Il was done In time and then the
men had to be carted off to the hos.
pital in Hilo. Talk about driving an
ambulance in France. Why my lob
has that skinned mile.
II got home at three in the morning
and was Just in time to pick up the
remains Of auto smash number two
for that twenty-four hours. This time
II was another Japanese chauffeur
who had tried his level best to drive
a tunnel through the earth and estab-
lish a listening post underneath my
house. The car was distributed all
over my lot and the driver who looked
as IL q gentleman of one of the central
powers had attempted to cut his throat
was lying on my bed.f. IL was a horri.
bic sight out long practise makes per.
feet, so | fixed the Japanese IN in
quick order and Jumped him off to
the hospital.
II was daylight when got home
and when ! looked at my home l ina
gined that few Zeppelins had been
raiding the district and had made NV
place special target for the occasion.
Ypres could not look any worse and
= --- = --------