davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
OLDST TORIES.
INNEWTYpB
Prom Ms TlNES PILES

Twenty Years Ago.
Mrs. Hattie A. Brown went to Austin.
Texas, today.
Mr.. and Mrs. pittinger returned to-
day from a two weeks visit in Mime.
apolis, Kan.
R. ]. Edwards went to Fl Reno yes.
terday.
d. c. Richardson went to Shawnee
today
Fifteen Years Ago.
Newton Alvey returned today from Q
visit to Illinois.
George Barnett left last night for
Fort Smith, where his two sons are on
the sick list
J. H, Kerns arrived today. from III
Reno to join a party Of homeseekers
to Roger Mills county.
The following gentlemen have been
voted members OF the city club: Fred
T. Couper, DR.. Lea A, RELY, Prof. ].
w. Butcher and w. A. Knox.
Ten Years Ago.
Mr. and Mrs. z. L. Fulton returned
from . pleasant visit to Guthrie. y
Mrs. David McKinstry Of Perry
spent today in the city.
Walter A. Lybrand spent yesterday
in Guthrie.
Mr.. Earl A. Butts Of Wynnewood
spent today with friends in the city
Miss Marguerite Grant 10 entertain.
ing tonight with box party for her
guest, Miss Mildred Poindexter OF To-
peka.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
OUR SCHOOL HOUSE DILEMMA.

COME Of the members of the school board oppose bond
issue which will provide school buildings. Rush
ing into debt may always be advisable but what is
be done with the increasing scholastic popuation3 II the
opponents OF the will suggest way in which
$4,000 children can be cared fes in buildings which
modatc about 1900 let's have the information promptly
We may differ ways means and methods but there
can be no disagreement as to needs
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

Grady county now has court clerk and
deputy which promises good service for that county
Women make fine clerks in public office and il our egs-
lature evaous it claims to be- there is reason
why every county in the have the high class
service OF women
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

A book agent who had wandered into
Milwaukee was trying to sell set Of
Shakespeare to one Of the prosperous
citizens Of that burg. Amer talking for
about ten minutes, he was interrupted
by his listener. who exclaimed, impa-
tiently:
"You want to sell me somedings--
nor Vel, vat Is IN"
Shakespeare" said the agent.
Don't want II. | got Pabsts beer
and Schlits beer and Blatz beer.
know nuttin' about dis Shakes beer
and | don't want any"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

Yorkshire farmer (bursting into VII.
lase inn): "What do you think, Silasp
The bones Of q prehistoric man have
been discovered on jim Whites farm.'
Innkeeper: Great Goshl Ihpe poor
Jim'u be able to clear himself at the
coroners inquestr
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

Here's old friend, Maine ready again to propose
some new laws to strengthen the prohbioy statute
Hasn't that state been in the dry game long enough to
know how to close the open saloons' II not Okla
homa officials can tell them Of successful method
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Representative Galway Of Texas

Representative Galloway Of Texas
said at banquet At Comanche:
The bravest troops on earth are
undoubtedly the Texas rangers. The
French chasseurs alpins are brave,
so are the Black Watch, and 80 are
the Prussian guard-but the Texas
rangers"
"Once there was 4 riot in Fl Pasc.
The mayor wired the governor. and
the governor said that q company Of
Texas rangers would be sent to put
down the riot at once.
The mayor and 4 delegation Of lead.
Ing citizens went to the station to meet
the rangers. The train pulled In, and .
grim quiet little man IN uniform got
out. = Texas raifger.
"Why friend, how's thisr the may.
or asked. Where's your company
How Is Il you're all alonef'
"'Why shouldn't be aloue, sahi p
said the ranger. They amt but one
riot heah, IL they|"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

The newly elected speaker of the Oklahoma house ad
monished the members against conduct ubecomng Of gen
tcmen; So il the members heed the adinonon we'll be
deprived OF the sport Of former years when ink bottles
were thrown.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Do They Write Tornado Risks?

Do They Write Tornado Risks? 10
Pcrrill & Storm are in the insurance
business at lebanon, Ind.
Ho, Hum!
We sort Of thought you would like
to know that Linzay Pancake deals in
buckwhcat flour at Dassell. MINI, and
that George Sink is a plumber at Mar
que,te, Mich.
Another Hick.
OF NIL the Hicks In our town,
The worst In Gabriel New:
We said: Have some molasses7" and
Horsaid: "rll take few"
Hoorayi
II the boys will line up at the bar
they will see Otto Kruse of Middle
town, Ohio, taking a schooner.
Our Joe Miller Contest.
w. s. See says the Oldest Joke is IN,
one about the peacock. II Is a beauti
full tale.
Things to Worry About.
There are 5000 tame elephants |,
Siam.
Names Il Names.
Charity Packer lives at Pittsburgh
Pa.
Our Daily Special
Suspicion Is A Light, Sleeper.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

ing by the time the rice had been
brushed from our clothes by the Pull
man porter on the outward trip.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Fooeyl

She's sorry she became his wife,
He ls n rummy pup:
He was the light OF her young life,
But now he stays III up.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
'HjST0RYBlfS;.
On. Huslr.a Year. Aso Today.

One nu PIoV feals ASo AooAy.
l8H-Thte days after landing on the
Venezuelan coast Bolivar started with
his force in the direction Of Santa Fe.
New Granada. hoping TO push through
to Peru.
Ssvsnty-fivs Years Ago Today.
l~a-Samuel Hammond, said to have
been member of the Boston Tea Par
". died at marlborough. w., in his
95th year
Fifty Years Ago Today.
l&7-Fire alarm telegraph service
was inaugurated in Detroit.
Twenty-Five Years Ago Today.
l@2-Garza and his band OF Mexi.
can outlaws were pursued by United
States troopers and Texas Rangers 10
Zapata county, Texas.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Ouch /!

Would you consider il unlucky to
borrow money on Friday2"' asked
Smith.
Il would il you borrowed il from
me-" replied longs.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Our Daily Birthday Party.

Gen. Peter J.. Osterhaus. the oldest
survivor among the Union commanders
in the American Civil war, born Al
Coblentz, Germany. ~ years ago today.
Carter Glass. representative in con.
gress Of the Sixth Virginia district
born at Lynchburg, Va. 50 years ago
today.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

No man can serve two masters,
quoted the Sage
"Oh. | don't know" replied the Fool
Il know lots OF men who have beer
married twice"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Luke McLuke Saws

Every time we see Corn Fed who
is wearing high shoes that come halt
way up to her knees and are laced so
tightly that a roll of fat bulges over the
tops, we feel lge notifying the Humane
society and having her pinched for
strangling calves.
Any time two live as cheaply as one
it is because they are compelled to,
The man who scolds child because
it doesn't know why it is afraid in the
dark is the same fellow who is afraid
to die, but doesn't know why.
We have no kick on girl wearing
white stockings. But we do maintain
that she should change them before
they turn brown.
The trouble with falling in love with
girl is that you lose your heart to her
and then lose your head over her
Any tailor can tell you that there
ainf no such animal as early settlers
in this country.
1t is a good bet that the man who
knows he doesn't know anything abou
women knows more than the man who
thinks he does.
A wife many not know much abou
her husbands business down town. Bu
she does know that he has no right tc
have a stenographer woh is better look
ing than she Is.
Our idea of wise man is one whc
can get through life without letting tn,
world know what fool he is.
Some men are afraid to discharge al
obligation without giving it the custom
ary two weeks notice.
You many convince a woman that sh,
is in the wrong when she knows sh,
isn't But you can't convince her tha
she is in the wrong when she knows sh,
is. ~
Any time man goes around with ;
chip on his shoulder il is a safe be
that it dropped from his head,
Anyway you can't say that the presi
dents notes to the Kaiser are billet
doux. Most of them sound more lik,
Billy, don'tw
You don't have 10 know anythin,
about botany to be able to tell bloom
ing idiot when you see one.
A new postoffice was established a
a small village far out west and N,
office Of postmisress was bestowed
upon the widow Of Spanish war vet
eran.
After a while complaints were mad
that no mail was sent out from the new
office. So an Inspector was sent 4
inquire into the matter
The postmistrcss pointed TO a BIZ
and neatly empty mail bag hanging Il
a corner and said.
why I haven't sent il out becaus
the bag isn't anywhere near full yet.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Advice.

When mingllrg with the daily throng
BE careful OF your pence;
Your dollars will not last you long
Unless you have some senRe
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

George Knows.
(Houston Post)
Don't argue with your wife" ad
vises Luke McLukc, This Is real wis
dom, Luke, and experience sueceede,
in introducing it into our understand
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
'EUKFlM:EUKE;
Ills COLUMN
@eyrigbf I~7
No 1oke.

Why talk about the babbling brook -
Complained che learned Mr.. South.
This fact We, should not overlook.
A river never shuts Its mouth"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Well, w ELL

We don't know whether he is blind
or not But We do know that Martin
{. Never has an office at 1923 Sixth
street, Milwaukee, Wis.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Oue Year Aso rodav IN the Wa,

January 4, l9i6-The Kamerun dis.
trict In West Africa practically aban.
doned by the Germans; state depart.
ment at Washington protested against
British interference with mails.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

A brilliant young barrister who has
Just been given a judgeship was once
cross-examining witness who was
strongly suspected OF perjury.
At length, becoming impatient. the
lawyer asked the witness impressively
"Do you know the nature of an oath :"
81 do, your honor"
Are you not aware, sir, that you
are commanded in the decalogue no,
TO bear false witness against thy
neighborl"
" am, yer honor, but, sure, I'm moi
bearin' false witness against him, I'm
bearing false witness Tor him."
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Huh

"A man should have enough ambition
to want to lead the procession and not
to follow it," remarked the Old Fogy.
That depends on whether black
vehicle with glass windows is heading
the procession, doesn't it?" asked the
Crouch
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Trees.

How can you tell dogwood tree?"
We asked old Woodman Shark:
That's very easy. son." said he:
Il tell 1t by It's bark"
uLa Mel al 4.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

I'd rather ten a dogwood tree
Than n horse chestnut say
No matter what I told him, he
Would answer me. Neigh. neigh"
Newark Advocate
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
RIppIIN6RH
Np MATT .Mason
ICoc>fvg3r IN7
GIVERS AND TAKERS.

WYE know how cheerful givers look
w good. in heavens eyes, when
they distribute livcrs, and coin
and shoes and pies. Methinks the cheer
ful takers deserve, as we'll, some praise,
and | shall hand them acres OF eulogis-
tic lays | took old BiIliam Bickle.
who's up against IL bad, a beautiful dill
pickle, the finest one | had. | heard
old Billiam mutier, | heard old Billiam
hiss. 81 need some bread and butter, and
you bring trash like this |" 1t shocked
me beyond measure--my tender hear,
still bleeds; such talk takes all the
pleasure from doing kindly deeds. To-
day took ramblc where poor folk
live In huts, and gave old Gaffer Gam.
BILE a pound OF hazel nuts. The poor
old man embraced me, and thanked me
DER and DER. and when left he chased
me, to thank me yet some more. II,
said he'd long been singing such treas.
ures to obtain; for weeks he had beer
trying tn steal some, but in vain. And
now at least he had 'em, and he could
die in peace, and sleep with Father
Adam, as slick as axle grease. | am a
great believer in kindly deeds and
words, and giver and receiver should
both be gay as birds.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Strange.

A married man is Oswald Haws.
He is a henpecked coot:
Hes kicking all the ,ipe because
He hasn't a free foot.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Our Joe Miller Contest.

Things to Worry About.
There are 5000 tame elephants
Siam.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Get In Line. Men. Don't Crowd

. In the Mt. Vernon (Ohio) Republican
News, Lewis Pickering, a contractor,
advertises for ten men at 80 cents per
hour to push three cars of stone from
Columbus to Mount Vernon, on the
C., A. K c. railway.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
George Knows.

Our Daily Special
Suspicion Is A Light Sleeper.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Oh I

Some girls would be afraid to deal
from the bottom when playing cards
with an officer Of the law. But what
we started to say was that Cheeta Copp
lives at Springfield, Ohio.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

Charity Packer lives at Pittsburgh
Pa.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
The Wise Fool.

A river never shuts Its mouth"
The Wise Fool.
No man can serve two masters,
quoted the Sage
"Oh. | don't know" replied the Fool
Il know lots OF men who have been
married twice"
Advice.
When mingllrg with the daily throng.
lie careful OF your pence;
Your dollars will not last you long
Unless you have some senRo
Huh
"A man should have enough ambition
to want to lead the procession and not
to follow it," remarked the Old Fogy.
That depends on whether a black
vehicle with glass windows is heading
the procession, doesn't it?" asked the
Crouch.
Fooeyl
She's sorry she became his wife.
He Is rummy pup:
lie was the light OF her young life.
But now he stays III up.
Ouch!
Would you consider il unluckv 10
borrow money on Friday1"'y asked
Smith.
Il would IL you borrowed il from
me" replied longs.
Strange.
A married man is Oswald Haws.
He is a henpecked coot
Hes kicking all the tiwe because
He hasn't free foot.
Oh!
Some girls would be afraid to dea
from the bottom when playing card,
with an officer OF the law. But wha'
we started to say was that Cheeta CopI
lives at Springfield. Ohio.
Notice.
II any of tie members Of the club ir
Des Moines, Iowa, want furnace re
paired in hurry, they should yell "B
Quick and he will attend to the Job.
Get In Line, Men, Don't Crowd.
In the Mt. Vernon (Ohio) Republican
News, Lewis Pickering, a contractor
! advertises for ten men at 80 cents pei
hour to push three cars of stone from
Columbus to Mount Vernon, on tn,
e., A. K c. railway
Well, Well!
We don't know whether he is blint
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04

Pcrrill & Storm are in the insurance
business at Lebanon, Ind.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Notice.

II any of tfie members Of the club in
Des MONIES, Iowa, want furnace re-
paired in hurry, they should yell "B.
Quick" and he will attend to the lob.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-01-04
Another Hick.

OF NIL the Hicks In our town.
The worst is Gabriel New.
Wa said: Have some molasses7' an
He'said: 'rll take n few"
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13
Here Is Revenue.

Joseph H. Hurley, president OF the
District branch, Federal Employees
Union, meets the argument that in
creased wages for employees of the
District government will mean in
creased taxation burdens with an eff
fective and practical plan to bring
about general advance, without
affecting the taxpayer.
In substance, the plan would have
the additional amount that the in
creased salaries involve provided
from the surplus revenues of the Dis
trict. This surplus amounting to
nearly 100000 represents the sum
in excess of the amount provided by
the government and the District un-
der the organic act and what was
actually necessary and expended for
the maintainance of the District gov
ernment. 1t is now in the Treasury
of the United States.
There is no QUESTION of the legality
of diverting this money to the pur-
pose. Precedents exist to show that
such a surplus may be directed to
such activities in the District as the
circumstances warrant and il has been
frequently used for playground pur-
poses.
With this money available the argu-
ment of finding the revenues van
ishes, so far as it relates to the Dis
trict employees. The money is in the
Treasury and portion of it could
Certainly be put to no more useful
purpose than providing an increase
in wages to degree proportionate
with the constant advance Of the cost
of living.
The District employees work under
much lower average wage than the
Federal worker. In the lowest scale
there are many employees whose
wages, considering loss of time and
other conditions, works out to less
than $3.50 a day. Opinion must be
universal that such wages can stand
revision upward without injustice.
The argument which has been used
with more or less success against the
general increase for government en-
playes has been the condition of the
Treasury. Under the circumstances
it cannot apply to the employees of
the District government
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13
ARMY ORDERS,

Name 3 First Lieut. kenneth T Blood, Oosst
Arallery Corps PLACED on detached officers List
and nsmed First Leut Henry S. Aurand, Coas
Artillery Corps. rsnored theTefum
Name Of First Lieut.. Arthur W Ford Ooast Ar
unery CoTs, placsd on detached officers list. and
name Of First Lieut.. Byron R. Coleman. Coast
A1ille-y COsps, removed therefrom.
Name Of Capt. Robsrt J. Wes infantry. re
moved frum detached officers list. He Is As
signed to Thirty seventh Infantry
Each Of the following of1csrs Will proceed to
Chicago and report to commanding general Centr,l
Department, for duty in connection with the
CorTs, Enlisted Reserve Corps and Citizens Train
ing Camps: lieut. Col Julius A Penn. Third
Infantry; Maj. Paul B. Malone infantry. detached
ofncars list
Cbl. William s McNair Field ArtiIlery assigned
to Sixth Field ARTILLERY
Lieut.. Col. Melvin W. Roveu. Eleventh. Cavalry
Will proceed TO San Francisco, Cal. for duty in
connection with Officers Reserve Oorps Reserve
ofncss' Training Corps Enlisted Reserve Corps
and Citizens Training Camps
First Lieut.. Downey L. Harris. Medical Reserve
Corps. relieved from duty 1t Jefersvn Bsrscks
Mo. and from active duty in the Medical Reserve
Oorpr.
First Ldeut Harry q W schutE-de Brun. Med
icsl Reserve Corp. relieved from duty in Southern
Department. and from active duty in the Medical
Reserve Corps
Resignation q Capt Samuel Van Leer Thirteenth
CSFalry, aocspced
C>pt- Joseph R. McAndrers cavalry. detached
ofnccrS list, now at Fort Lsaunwurth. Kama. on
leave Of absence viii report TO commandant, The
Army Service Schools for temporary duty.
Name Of Capt. Wills p. Cols1nsn. Twenty y-se'enth
Infantry. placed detached officers list. and
name Of Oapt, John VI. Craig, infantry. detached
officers list. removed therefrCm.
Special Orders relating TO Mai. Frank G. Jewell.
Cosss Artillery Corr~ revoked
MAI. BENJAMIN T simmons Thirty fifth Infantry
will proceed 10 For Sam Houston. Tex. for
duty In connection with Officers Reserve Grips
Reserve Officers Training CORPS. Enlisted Re
serve Oops and Citizrns' Training Camps
Col Charles A. r. Hatfield. L s. A retired
assigned to active duty and detailed for senersl
recruiting service. He will proceed IN Phnadel
phia. Pa.
Capt William O. Russell. infantry detached
officers list relieved from duty at the Pacific
Branch. United States Disciplinary barracks
AlcstrsL. Csl.. and will proceed to San Diego
Cal.. for duty with Twenty hrst Infantry.
First Lieut.. Lewis G. Davidson infantry. relieved
from duty at Signal corps Aviation School, San
Diego. CAL and will proceed to Fort Omaha, Sebr.
and report to commanding officer. United States
Amy Balloon School for duty.
, Resignation of Mai Robert y PalmPr. adiutant.
Second Rrigade, Ohio National Guard acceltcd.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13

There is a certain dogged efficiency
1bout the Washington police depart
mcnt which if applied along logical
channels would give he citizens of
the Capital less cause of complaint
against the city's protection. In Cas-
ualty Hospital man lies almost at
the point of death. He was shot
through the abdomen several days
ago when two policemen entered his
home on the complaint of his wife.
Although he was unarmed at the time
the police found it impossible to make
the arrest without shooting him. They
allege that he assaulted them when
they entered his home So he was
shot and charge OF assault entered
against him. And now the depart
ment keeps a guard at the hospital
twenty-four hours of the day al
though the wounded man is hardly
able TO move. Three policemen are
thus pressed into service each day for
guard duty while the department calls
for more men on the force and rob
berries and assaults are RAMPANT
throughout the city.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13

1t begins to appear that the German
proposal for peace was but an extension
of policy and an effort to create strife
between the allies and unrest within tthe
allied nations. At the outset the allies
may very Justly demand that Germany
outline her peace proposal. II this de-
mand is complied with the best counter
move. 1t would seem. would be an an
swer which would put the issues Of the
war, as the allies see them and mean to
fight for them. clearly before the German
and Austrian people. This DONE the war
can be resumed without further hesita-
tion, for peace until these things are as
sured 10 unthinkab ble.-New York Tribune.
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13

for them. but the women are smoking 3ust
as many cigarettes a. ever. Nov thsy
buy the same kind that husband and
brother buy.
Nearly all Of the hotels and cafes have
lifted the ban against women smoking IN
public. Most women Who smoke are nov
carrying their silver cigarette cases on
their wrists when visiting tea rooms and
there is not the slightest effort 10 conceal
them.
A statisticisn has hgured out that
Smokes for Women" have jumped the
years cigarette szies In the United States
10 %. tc. 900 600. In some Of the Frencn
sfes women smoke cigars openly and In
one tea room recently younS woman
was seen smoking q pipe
The Washington herald., 1917-01-13
AS MOTHERS SEE TT.

Who died on the battle front todav,
sold grim in the bloody fray?
No. las little babe who pressed
His downy head on his mothers breast
Who gave her hand as a wife todaya
maiden grown who would take her
vay7
No, twas little babe whose charms
pfnplsd and cooed IN her mothers
arms.
Who stood in the prison cell today?
man who turned from the path to
stray?
No, twas little babe whose grace
Innocent smiled in his mothers face.
McLANDBURGH WILSON.
In the New York Times.