davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

Is it a go?" They consented, and Pat
reached over, got hold of whisker.
said "Robert Emmett" and pulled.
"Moses" said the Jew, and pulled
one of Pats tenderest. "Dan O'Con-
NELL" said Pat and took another.
"Abraham," said key, helping him
self again. patrick Henry" returned
Pat with vicious yank. "The twelve
apostles" said the Jew, taking a hand
full of whiskers. Pat emitted roar
of pain, grasped the Jews beard with
both hands and yelled, "The Ancient
Order of Hibernians."
4 4 4
Lord Northcliffe, the great English
journalist and statesman, is in this
country, telling the people of the war.
One member of his party told this
story in a midwest town: A CORES
pondent in France became obsessed
with the determination to learn when
the war would end, and after much
futile questioning, convinced himself
that the only person who could tell
him was Marshal Joffre, then in ac-
tive service as general. The CORES
pendent consequently cultivated the
of the great generals
chauffer, and as soon as confidence
was established, asked the young man
if Joffre ever talked to him about /
the war. "Oh, yes, indeed. Quite
freely" the chauffeur replied "Does
he, really? And does he ever speak
of the ultimate-ah-succe ?"
why, yes, quite often. Only yester-
day, in fact, he" Eyes, yes, what
did he say?" the correspondent cut
in, eagerly. "Only yesterday, we were
driving back, he in front with me
and he leaned over to me and said,
Pierre, for Gods sake, when is this
awful war going to end p"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08
CURRENT COMMENT.

A RE you one of those who can see
in this time Of trouble only your
own little griefs? If you are, you
should be ashamed to call yourself an
American. This country has a coal
shortage, sugar shortage, and other
difficulties destined to cause incon-
venience and some hardships to the
masses. Taxes are high and are GO
ing higher, and there are constant
calls 10 help support the cause Of
war. But it should brighten the pros
pect somewhat to know that after all
ours is the easiest part of war, and
that complaint i'll becomes person
or nation which has endured so
little. War means hardships, and the
millions of men we are sending to the
front realize that, and accept the out
look cheerfully. 1t is time for the
kickers at home 10 get the army point
Of view These men in Khaki are leav-
ing the placid paths of peace to face
the rigors Of war. and, as if that were
not enough, they have bought Liberty
bonds with their humble pay. That is
patriotism full grown. We who are
left in security and comfort cannot
approach their record, nor is it with
in the range of probability that we
shall be called upon to suffer the I'M
speakable barbarism and outrages
wreaked upon Belgium and northern
France by the savage Hun. For that
and more there should be deep feel
ing of gratitude that should effec-
tually quiet the quibbler and fault
finder; should silence the little, selfish
voice which squeals because it's COM
forts and Injuries are lessened by the |
exigencies of war. The farmer who |
walls at price fixing, the glutton who
objects to meatless days and wheat
less days and sugarless days, the loan
Stacker, the Red Cross Stacker, the
Y. NJ. c. A. Stacker and various other
kinds, need an awakening to the real
of this war and the fact that
The stay at home has part to play.
Largely that part is to give until it
hurts and to face sacrifice and discom-
fort of minor sorts as cheerfully as
soldiers meet the hellish hardships of
he trenches.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

THERE are three ways Of saving
food on nationwide scale. We
can let the price go up, we can appeal
for voluntary saving, or we can adopt
a compulsory card rationing system
like that of Germany. We are now
trying the second way-an appeal to
people on the grounds of patriotism
voluntarily to curtail consumption.
We are asking them to substitute
corn bread for wheat bread in order
to leave more wheat for export. We
are making the same sort of an APP
peal on meats, sugar and fat. Are
you doing your part?
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08
TALES OF TOWN
DADS WAR.

We raised cheer as the time drew
For the soldiers to enter the train
But the cheer was forced and the tear
drops coursed
Down our cheeks like a dash of rain.
Somewhere from the crowd came a
sob, aloud,
Somewhere was sweetheart
signs,
But Dad, aside. showed naught but
pride
In the look of his keen gray eyes.
"By gum, that's him, that's my boy
Jim,
In the winder jist thar to yer right,
That young bar cub'll pine fer his
grub.
But he'll pine heap mo- fer a
fight"
He elbowed his way for warm hand
clasp
To the boy in the suit of brown,
Then turned away to the waiting shay
And drove in a walk to town.
Lies joy had gone with his only son,
But the pride in his heart remained,
ANNiN hhtn VI liit Sliit III the ldlu-
er's breast
When his young "b'ar cub en-
trained.
But he frightened his grip on the bug
sly whip,
While a flush Ger his features
played,
The war was affair to the lad who went
1t was here to the Dad who stayed.
A town is like girl. It's wonderful
what little fixing will do to it.
In small town the neighbors
chaperon a man good deal while his
family is away.
q q q
The fat legged girls are giving Ida
no autumn scenery great run for
he money this fall.
& q z
After this war is over king or a |
queen won't count any more than
ieuce or a four-spot.
q q q
There is so much to look at lately
hat man shouldn't be blamed if he
ails to see q girls face.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

YOU certainly have to give it to
the food spectators for always
having their nerve with them. The
egg spectators in Chicago ha ap-
pealed to the government to help
them out. In their desire to get rich
quick they have stored up eggs for
months. Now they find themselves
caught with big surplus and are
facing loss. They have appealed
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

THE fellow who imagines that buy
ing Liberty bond that pays him
only 4 per cent interest constitutes
his duty to his country during these
strenuous times, is due for an awak-
eng.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08
WHATEVER you do, when you are

WHATEVER you do, when you are
asked to put up for the army
work Of the Y. NJ. C. A.. the Red
Cross or other good causes, do not
explain that owing TO your liberal
subscription to the Liberty loan. etc.
Whatever you subscribed to the Lib
erty loan, it wasn't liberal. You gave
nothing to Uncle Sam that Uncle Sam
isn't going to pay you back, and then
some. A Liberty bond is simply a
gilt edged investment. The more you
took the more you have.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

An lrishman and Jew were dis
cussing the great men who had be-
longed to each race and, as may be
expected, got into heated argu-
ment. Finally the Irishman said:
Likely, listen. For livery great Jew
We can name We may pull out one Of
me whiskers, an for livery great Irish
man can name I'll pull one of yours.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

THE most contented person we ever
saw wasn't rich man nor was he
bathing in the plaudits of the people
nor wearing the purple robes of pow
er and authority He was just a
common plug of a fellow who would
shoulder fishing pole and saunter
down to the creek and watch his cork
bob under the water. He didn't have
much, he didn't want much and he
wasn't disappointed at anything. The
country was being run to suit him and
the officers of the law were doing
their duty. The postmaster gave him
all the letters that were addressed to
him and if his weekly paper failed to
arrive he would pass it off with the
remark that he didn't expect there
was anything in it anyway. When he
heard a poor sermon he would always
say the minister was sincere and that
was the whole thing. When the wind
blew he would say it meant rain
and we needed it and when the wind
didn't blow he would remark about
what fine brand of weather we al
ways had in this country. He always
said his taxes were mighty light con-
sidering the advantages we had and
that the world was mighty good to
him. He had solved the problem that
still perpleXes the greatest minds of
the land.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

to the government to take the eggs
off their hands and make them part
of the army rations. They only ask
for 10 per cent profit on their hold
ings. Will Uncle Sam come to their
rescue? You can't tell what Uncle
Sam will do, but if he does he is a
chump. The egg spectators were not
very thoughtful of the people last
year when they ran their corner on
eggs. No come down in price from
them until the people forced it. Pay
ing the egg spectators 10 per cent
and helping them out Of the hole
they dug for themselves would be
a good deal like congress voting a
pension to every man who has served
a term in the penitentiary. The egg
spectators stand to lose $500 car
on their holdings. If they should lose
the whole works they would only
be getting what is coming to them.
THE panic of the Italian army may
be a Bull Run or it may be another
Galicia. If the latter, the allies need
no further reverse to demonstrate to
The satisfaction of the slowest mind |
I'd or most optimistic the correctness
IF the opinions constantly expressed
by well informed leaders in America,
England and France that the war is
ar from drawing TO an end. Even if
he former, and if the Italians quick
y recover, the demonstration will
lave had its effect upon the popular
Judgment of the magnitude of the
truggle. In either case, or any case,
he lesson to be plainly read is that
america needs to conserve all her
esources and prepare herself in all
Ways for a mighty test of strength.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

THERE is good deal to be said
for the allopathic treatment. Three
months ago the /. w. W. was a men
ace. They hanged one |. w. w. gen.
tleman and threw a couple of hundred
others in Jail and the |. w. w. faded
out of the picture. The German SYM
pathizers should receive the same
treatment, only more So
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

Don't take my valued time to tell
about the pranks of H. C. L. | know
it takes lot of dough to keep a fell
low on the go, to pay the rent and buy
the shoes and clothes and other things
we use, to pay for milk and eggs and
meat and other things we have to eat;
but when your woes you would re-
hearse remember that they might be
worse. Be glad you have the price to
pay for living in the U. S. A., and
when you feel inclined to kick and say
that prices make you sick, just think
of Europe's sore distress, where folks
can't buy the stuff to ''fress," where
they can't buy the stuff to drink al
though they'd gladly pay the chink
It's true of course that living's dear,
but it's worth something to be here.
A premium I'm glad to pay for living
in the U. S. A. and if you want to
howl and kick, excuse me, please, it
makes me sick.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

After this war is over king or a
queen won't count any more than a
deuce or four-spot.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

The fat legged girls are giving Ida
no autumn scenery great run for
the money this fall.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
Look Out For Your
Horses. the Steam CalliOpe
Is Coming This Way

The circus. thar remnant ~ the past-of 'he
lchsriot race Ia Rome when me aristocrscy conf
pstad fer a prize and the Colosseum was CAV with
tho wealth and beauty of thc Roman Empire is
with Us once .u1o~s. brave Ia rct trapp.nes bright
( harness and 'roreeousE painted wagons With 'he
gold and .H,ef =vrr1nI present oaIuope sending
forth It's insistsr- compelling notes
After the horses which prsnre sideways ofrco.
and arc aH checsfd uD -a show -uch bcauteous
curve of neck como. rho snake charnsr IN the
eleEan. secIu-.ou al a glass oagc v-r rfr reptile
friends as her oriy companions She slts respltn
dant la green s.ik ard sDarges-
on TOP of TIE rcxt huge wagon Which presrn
abb houses some 3ersc0 ~ fhe forests. srs tfF
clowns with faces ot white ana o's bass P'
Ted costumes 80 hearfache- troubles @.
their oVn must ever oe guessed o' i-o4''
eager 90 LAUGH
Lovey ladies Ia nstrve.ve rdine habits WITH
waving p'rmes Ia the.r halls are seated on white
steet- making their way along he partnents
more claufnE harness and rafting wagons ana
ominous srowls from the Sing o' beasts 3s ae
bumps bis head against iron bars ia }an ar
tempt az liberty
Now comes long chain of 'hat animal IF.
over bS some strange Fate from prehistoric da'
ne elephant The truns OF each hrnry holding
the tail 81 the next patient beast in front
Al angry howl rends me air. a. one - The
gentlemen IN blue plush seated ialrtg or rnr
head OF a mammoth creature th-usts h., spear
tipped stuck into the thick hide The little boys
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23

This country enters rte war IN
cfr nel- banner with single
am T0 safeguard democracy rs
-se principle -rat ei.l govern our
every ION and orr eter policy
t0 fbe close OF the peace confer
e1re $40 vaat nothing else We
aHI s-t oar import to nothing
eIse The Undertaking. one Oh
SOME magrrufe and involve
Thought ss oof ~ action Else the
ao-d tfmocrect" may be only a
ratrraord bt which we distinguish
-us ram Chem and initiate or
ns orsi vanity presdon Wilson
keynote. declaring tbe s.ug'ene-s OF
purpose nj 'he American scope. has
bad profound 4ponse ln Allied
c0unrr.a and what is more import
ant acting ~ prcrnifanf to
clarity Allied policy For fhe war
sfu ar France fnd EnS nd while
ordinarily intending 20 seure Tho
fltre OF democratic civilization.
5000 Also reeardui 0f some .oron
st-fent elements or mg.uar-'Ic
foIr, This % crusade against
however menace 20 demo.
cratic deso.opme not fhe German
people b the German mIarist
apDr1crse Tfrre must Do horG
national heart -earching among The
/ aemOcfar.,. of fhc Wc
r.r. F. rf tFr r-rf.r4 rfatae r
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
What of the United States ?

democratic things We are doing Just
now The censorship. tho provisions
of the revenue bin. the eudovmon'
Rith governmental power of our
captains o. industry. are nJt merely
aar expedients. but the emergenco
INTO the open Of the factors thar
-hane our national life IN times Of
peace Let Us De- honest and admit
that we have here in America an
ire pon-ible power agsins' which
We must make democracy secure be-
fore We can Offer clean hand 20
our European allies
Has nor the time arrived FOR No
government and people of ne Unit
90 states 20 approach Latin America
uith strong policy % cooperation
and friendship? Never before In our
history has there been time so
1ropuous FOR sweeping away dis
trust. and cementing tho bonds OF
sympathy The Public
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
War Adds to Burden
Already Packed High
On the BurrO's Back

DIR. Ninson, of Arizona University, adj
vises that the long-eared burros. driven
out of usage by motor trucks and rail
roads, can be made into "eiselwurst". a
sausage eaten in Germany and Italy as
war food.
Well sir, we'd wholly overlooked the
economy of the long-eared burrol
In Arizona New Mexico and other
southwestern regions hundreds Of him
are grazing where we'd better have cattle
and sheep.
You can buy him for 50 and sell his
hide for SO cents.
Witr real pork sausage at 40 cents the
pound, our artistic admiration of the
burro's physical beauties turns to hot de.
sire for him as table delicacy. if the
stuff for sausage is actually in him.
Faith. of the sort that questions not
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
Anniversaries

Is77-Gon James $ Brisbin. who
commanded the Pennsylvania state
cavalry at Gettysburg born IN >Boals-
burg. IA Died in Philadelphia Jan
H. 1892
iS5s-slr Hope Grant defeated Ma
ma Sahtb ia Jorwah Pass
lf8sB-"kit" Carson. celebrated sol
died and frontiersman. died In Fort
Lyon. Colo. Born in Madison county.
Ky. Dec ~. 1909.
1891 Frederick Deemtng. author ~
a series % atrocious murders was
executed in Melbourne. Australia.
1sfb-Ttaly declared war upon Aus
tria.
1915 British house Of lords passed
the conscription bill.
ONE YEAR AGO TO-DAY IN THE
WAR
Germans captured long line ~ Brit
ish trenches on Nimy ridge.
German government appoint" q
AdoIph- Won hAtocki rood dictator q"
nv the vote Of 1900. 10000 the
house Of commons brought the total
British war credits up ~ 81 1910
100000.
ToDAY's BIRTHDAYS
Brig Gen David : Gordon. U s..
A retired. born In Franklin county.
pa eS years ago today
Lawrence OArryJ Gardner. third
baaemau % the Boston American
league baseball team born IN Enos-
burE Falls. VI. ~ years ago today
Zachary d wheat outhelder of
the brooklyn National league base
tnli team. born IN Hamilton. Mo. ~
years ago today
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
Pointed Paragraphs

sometimes A blush is tut fem
mine cor entionaiity
Old nndships and old shoes Diii
carry vDu many = milo
If hard for the girl who throws
hers..f 81 A mans head tO make a
hit
Nothing 1leases little man more
.han sn yOruuity % act bis
Patience fs IN easy virtue FOR a
rcmfar lr man 10 cultivate
Give -ore men a dollar and they
Hii h'Jeyo anything YOU Tell them
1ho he way a selfmade man
Htk .oss may he absurd The way
Hs makes money Bt
A1 Aschelor says that the next
been hing 20 having no pife SIS to
GOOD vfa
Many % RoHnsn nho fhinH- herself
bDtpft meyer succeed In c0nWnc
INK her mirror.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
From Another Point of KieU
- G 7. s

Old Sci (high brow for sun) isn't
exactly doing his BIT. either
Wonder if that fellow across the aisle.
wearing the Crouch, is Frank Navin
president OF our Tigers or the man who
sells straw hat cleaner
The strike in Paris is spreading. The
|corsetmakers have been drawn in.
Maybe the falling of in volunteers in
Detroit is due 10 a look az some of the
eity gardens with which we are supposed
Ito win the war.
Sounds funny at that to hear them Civ
ing three. cheers for an onion.
A Denver wife complained IN divorce
court that her husband slept in the same
suit Of underwear for eight weeks. In
that case, would observe, respectfully,
that it's time 10 change EN-.
Not Our ON Personal, Private Idea Of oes.r.
able Position for Young Mar VINO is Viii
ing 70 Work HIS Way Up ard Can Eur
nish Satisfactory References.
Quoting a dispatch
The greatest precautions alnsgs have been
taken fo guard the kaiser Circumstartia' .for
fes have told OF special precautions taken dun rg
1is frequent automobile trips such AZ AN extra
car made up POO resemble baggage automobile
Boo which the kaiser actually rides while proceed
ing if is his gorgeQus decorated automobile with
q man resembling fhe kaiser seated inside
A Moslem husband never sees his
brides face until she has removed the
veil from her face Now and then. circu-
Iating among married people. we come
across what we are almost sure is the ne.
suit of the Mosiem service
when the telephone girl
; At the gates that are pearl,
I Asks place in that golden paved garden
\ We'd like 60 Toe there
/ At the top of the stair
To tell her Were busy, beg pardon
TheySwant bIacksmiths for the army
] (AttentiOn Of composing room foreman
-.--- a-a-F
1t don't seem Do be the spark maybe
Bert, YOU amt got any gasoline.
Rover, Rover, Rover; WHERE do yol
get en-
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
AnbrOSia
ny Horton Rrsley.

ny Horton RraIey.
For juet "a few moments The var is
~ waste and destruc,veness ,roubi.
me NOT
rhoosb> ae,tln,. tremels and en-
uerafa fall
don mink about them or worry
a. a1i
Tho problems n state from my brain
are erased
don't think a. present bat Oh. how
tsste. in a. sweet sastrononntcal
dream
Of "a fashioned strawberry short
take and cream
Tho new fannFd kind With ts pale.
vspid cake
is .uis humhug. restaurant fake.
tlf fl'f that's before me-no fakery
THE real oideu -tuT that our moth
ere made drarf
Hoe wholly inadequate words are 20
praise
The foel whose delights are 90 rich
ard supreme
AZ old fashioned stra wberry short
cake and cream.
They cav tho spring late. but know
ne,a1s. n tb,s ii,h am chanting in
TIrUr
Amir r.urauni' go sweet on
That .wlv DO Ought to be eaten. not
o. faste fhy drftc'abIo flavor. and
th.r
Z re.e .n r1. Saucer aRaIn snd aga n.
Fnrvrttir7 s.i else iu this vast earth
ir scheme
Hat old fashioned afrawbsrry short
cake and cream
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
Mule Power
~ Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crane)

There's a deal of talk about will power
among uplifters and advisers and exhort-
ers and all the rest Of the hecklers OF
poor, wabbly humanity. There are books
on TIE development of the will books
widely advertised and presumably widely
read Also books on the diseases of the
will
But there's something much more es-
sential 10 success here below and saliva
ton UP yonder than will power.
II is won't power
And I'll tell you secret.
Only the exceptional character mas a
dominant will Only a few have will
power But every mothers son of us
has won't power aplenty
Even weaklings Even we drifty,
yielding. oh-be-a-good-feIlow. anything
to-be-agreeable, gowiththecrowd boys
and girls we can be just as strong in
our won'ts as the supermen are in their
wills.
That's the beauty Of it. The good
God has so ordered things that the least
and peakedest of us can save ourselves
as well as the mightiest and greatest.
Becaue all we have to do is to DO
NOTHING.
To keep out Of the horrible pits that
beset the human path all that's neces-
sary is NOT TO walk into them
For instance, the way to quit drink
ing is simply NOT TO DRINK.
That's all.
Easy,
II does not require struggle and prayer
and courage and a grand character and
will power A man can have all these
and use them and still coast uninter-
ruptedly down the alcoholic slide.
What il takes to quit, and stay quit,
is won't power
Plain stubbornness.
Mule power
Behold the mule As a won't he has
no equal Except maybe a woman. Take
him for your ideal Set yourself Balk
Say They can lead me to the bar,
but they can't make me drink. can
power in heaven. on earth. or under the
earth can make me swallow the stuff
if I simply WON'T
No matter how vacilatng you are,
how much Of a spineess imbecile and
moral wreck you are there's one thing
you can do as powerfully and irresistibly
as julius Caesar or Napoleon-you can
NOT do a thing,
If you'll just sec this and believe it, it
may be worth a million dollars to you
To get out of the SPIDERS web, to get
your feet out of the quicksand that's en-
quilting you, all you have to do is-not
anything grand and noble and pious and
pure-but just simply use your stub
bornness.
USE YOUR MULE POWER.
Glory be TO stubbornnessl
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23
The Old Gardener Says

n transplsnted on a cloudy day
or late In the afternoon, young
plants will receive but little
shock. especially II the ground
has been thoroly soaked With wa
ter some hours in advance, 30
that the soil viii adhere TO the
roots Usually they should be
set up 20 the hrst leaves or stem.
and In case OF cabbage and simi
lar plants II u a good plan 20 cut
or half the leaf Growth with
a pair 81 scissors n the work
must be done under hot sun.
tho plants should be shaded with
shingle or by some other
means
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23

A gentleman travelling on
horseback came upon him
fencing In a most desolate
piece 81 land
What arc YOU fencing In
that lot for. my man - said he.
"A herd of COWS would starvc
to death on that land
And sure your honor wasn't
/ fencing ~ 10 keep the poor
baefeg out iv IT,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-05-23

and wavers not, as in the case of the ia
miliar hash, may enable us TO cotton to
'eiselwurst.
We wot not how this new sausage
tastes. but. if its texture is anything like
the burro, one can sure chew on II a long.
long time