Bridgeton pioneer., 1917-08-30
The BACHELORS
CLUB
There Was a Penalty For
Marriage
By RICHARD SiARKLEY

Ihe bachelors club was an associa.
tlon of men who regarded themselves
as being especially happy in not hav
mg wife. child or home and who look.
ed upon women as designing persons
VINO made it their business TO enslave
men. usually by some underbanded
means altogether reprehensible.
The Bachelors club came to order
the president in the chair.
Fellow bachelors" he said. "one of
our number has committed matrimonv.
EDWARD Hammerton has taken to him.
seif wife, Will read article I of
our constitution. applying to his case
when any member shall become &:
saSsd or has been married he shall pay
hne and his membership in the club
shal cease. He shall state the arts BY
which he was shared. If there are palli-
atlnS circumstances in his case he shall
not pay the whole fine but such rlortion
OF 1t as the club may consider a lust
amount in his case.
MIR. Hammerton will now make his
statement"
i assure you, gentiemen.'' said the
retiring member. that 10 intention
whatever 10 desert You ever entered
my head until a diabolical combination
OF young women in the town where |
hVe forced matrimony upon me. These
persons organIZ2d a club based on a
custom prevailing in foreign land.
Between the mountains Of India and
Persia. have since understood. is q
powerful tribe, among whom the ladies
can choose their own husbands. All
single woman has to DO when she
wishes to change her state is to send a
servant TO pin a handkerchief to the
hat of the man on whom her fancy
lights, and he is obliged to marry her
unless he can show that he is too poor
to purchase her at the price her father
requires.
"lnspired by this suggestion from
lend where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions. every un-
married woman in the town where /
live formed a club-rather. entered upon
cOnspiracy-t0 force the bachelors
into matrimony. One morning, being
about to leave my home. on taking my
hat from the hall closet something soft
and scented Guttered against my hand.
shuddered. had touched the Indian
poison flower and was reminded Of it's
WaXen petals and its seductive odor
Taking the hat to the light, | saw
pinned to it q blue silk handkerchief
in one corner of which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe. gentlemen. the in
sinuating method Of this designing
creature. She not only knew how dear
to every man is his alma mater, but
she was aware that blue is the colc1
of my college.
Mind you, gentlemen, | did not at
the time know of this society or Of
its malevolent purpose, for the mem
bers kept both secret so long as possi-
BILE. | asked my butler how the hand
kerchief came to be pinned to my hat.
He said that the servant of Miss Euge-
mia Tomlinson, living at the other end
of the street, had called before l was
out of bed asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief. Why he had
done so he did not state.
Going to my club after had break
tasted. | sat down to a cigar and
paper. In the paper read full ac-
count of the organization and prac-
tices of this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported to our soil. l also
read a list of the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast to
see the names Of two of my most init.
mate friends.
Great heavens | cried, the per-
spiration starting out on me, and
have already received deadly Black
Hand notification
THE lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery. both from her
beauty and general aitractiveness, was
all powerful. Any NAN on whom she
pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him. Nevertheless, though seeing
the signal to heaye to. made up my
mind to pay no attention to it. ] sim
ply sailed on. Einding my own bust.
ness
why didn't you take to an aero
plane?' member interrupted.
Rats" .'Buncombe. Brave boy!
and the like greeted the speaker.
''One week after the receipt of the
signsd," he continued. 'the period given
blacklisted bachelors by this club. l
met one of my most respected women
friends on the street. She cut me dead
The same day met several others and
received the cut direct from all. Here
was, indeed. a boycott. You must re-
member, gentlemen, that, although we
do not wish to surrender our independ-
ence to these creatures, to be ostra'
cized by them is serious matter. In
time l was cut by every unmarried
woman in town. Besides, the most at
tractiye married women were honorary
members of the club, and Joined the
boycott.
"And then, gentlemen, appeared the
most alluring feature of this malignant