davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

ne thing about your Amerika which
lmpresses me ze most Is Ne great army
o. bOres-iet me see-herO worship
ers ] think you call 'em-that camp
on re trail o. re great said SlgnOr
Antoine Colorado Maduro, tn cele-
brated Icelandic accordion player,
while hidin' In a box stall at tn liv-
cry stable L avoid tn entertainment
committee o. IN Ladies Art society.
"In no other country In re world have
/ found 50 mnny-let me see-tOadies
I think you call 'em-as / find In your
America. They no let me sleep ,
They no let me walk It's re tea, re
dance, 70 reception an re luncheons.
l no take a bath. See. my beard has
grown beyond my controll / can no
shayel / shake re hand an cat all
re tlmel by stomach no goOdi It's
let me see-all shot { pieces /
think you call iti'
TIL craze { be mixed up in some
way or other with tn great an al
most great has about reached tn limit
In this country let US hope. In time
tn fad will drive our own great celeb
rites abroad, as well as discourage
those O. Europe from seekin' fresh
laurels an other things among US.
Real celebrities want { be let alone
Jest like reg'lar human beln's. Great
speakers an musicians an statesmen
an actors an actresses must rest an
bathe an shave jest like paperhang-
ers an lawyers an other folks. II
great people dldn' need tn money an
publicity they wouldn' stand a minute
fer tn average celebrity trailer. II
seems { be as much a part O. tn con
tract Of a celebrity t. stand fer bein'
bored all tn time as 1t is fer EN- I
play or sing or speak.
What a tryln' ordeal 1t must be
fer a Norwegian xylophone player, OF
a scandinavian '%cellist, or a Peruvian
pianist, or a noted exponent o. altru.
ism, T. be surrounded by a bunch o
perfumed an powdered tea pourers
while he feels tn need o. a bath, or O
shave, or a steak with onions.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
By KIN

Some celebrities. O. course, travel In
Their own special cars an kin sleep
an shave while they hide on a side
track in tn suburbs. but they've all
paid tn price in tn past.
It's great fun { watch a reception
committee while II waits fer tn train
bearln' It's prey. tn plan O. attack
has been arranged an ~rehearsed like
a fire drill. Ever contingency is pro-
vided fer. TIL committee huddles
t'gether with grave an sober faces.
Each member is thoroughly sensible
O his great responsibility. Each
thinks only o. tn part he is { play.
Tn occasional click O. q huntin' case
watch is all that disturbs tn quiet
vigil. TIL committee knows its bust
ness. When III whistle blows it's
tn signal fer tn leadin' hardware
merchant { crank his fiyver an have
It in readiness. TIL leadin' banker an
prominent pastor move T. a position
where tn coach bearin' tn celebrity
is likely { halt. It Is tn pastors bust
ness { greet tn celebrity an pass his
luggage t tn leadin' banker. At this
juncture tn mayor, who has remained
in tn ofin, walks forward an X
tends a fat damp hand an escorts tn
party t. tn fivver. Then tn celebrity
Is spirited { tn home Of a prominent
club woman, where tn committee on
entertainment take him in charge. At
EIGHTEEN p. IN, after eatin' an shakln'
hands an i%nspectin' tn new water
works an tn heatin' system o. X. Of
r. hall, tn celebrity appears pale an
exhausted fer tn evenin's entertain.
ment.
Have you ever noticed that tn great.
er a celebrity is tn later he arrives
In town an tn earlier he gifts Quit
Next t thunderous applause thei
hain't nothin' q really great celebrity
likes better'n jumpln' int n sleeper
before his audience kin from
his closin' remarks.
Tn penalty fer beln' great is bein.
bored.
J Copyright, Adams Newspaper s~ervice.l
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
The QUESTIONABLE

The" Questionnaire" being an
swered in Grant county by draft
eligibles contains simple ques-
tons. but an extraordinary large
number Of them. After answer
ing all Of them a lot of Lordsburg
young men will realize there is
more 10 their history than they
had ever dreamed. The "ques-
tionaire" is Of such a character,
however. that large portions OF
the populace will require help to
answer the questions properly.
This personal pamphlet, by the
way, is the most prodiRious cler-
zeal task ever undertaken by any
government. II is planned tc
carefully and thoroughly tabulate
5000, 600 names in 60 days, and
to do this thousands Of clerks
will be necessary, working day
and night shifts in Washington.
The object is, Of course, to get
the right angle on every mar
eligible for military service, avoid
injustice and insure quicker ac-
ton after the names are re
corded.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
Thouaht semethlna Mlaelna.

.Marion's grandfather was Scotch
and a musician. Consequently he was
delighted to entertain a gifted profess
siOnai countryman, who was to appear
at n theater. After dinner, when the
guest had donned his kits and was
waiting for the car to take him to the
theater, the children were admitted tc
the living room. Marion eyed the ce-
lebrity in wonder and awe, finally
walking up to him, and as she touched
his bare knee in amazement inquired
"Where your pants?"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
THE NEW YEARS OPPoRTUNITY

The New Year should be a period
o. retrospection, introspection, cir.
cumspection and determination. There
is nothing like going beneath the sur
face. II every person In New Mexico
takes stock Of himself and his rela-
ton 70 this state, takes note Of per
sonal and community shortcomings as
he gees them, and resolves 70 build
upon the experience Of the past and
the evident needs Of the future, New
Mezico's citizenship and the commu-
nity Itself will enjoy a better and more
progressive 1913 than was the case in
1917.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The strength OF males increases
rapidly from twelve to nineteen years,
and at a rate similar to that of the
weight, and more slowly and icgular-
ly up TO thirty years, after which II
declines at IN increasing rate TO the
age of sixty years. The strength OF
females increases at a more uniform
rate from nine go uinc}e.u
more slowly TO ,hirty, after hich It
falls off in Il manner similar TO that
OF males. At eleven years females are
weaker than males by % pounds, at
twenty years Of age by 80 pounds.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
-"The Real Man" starts on Page p
Stomach Trouble and Constipation

Those who are afflicted with stom-
ach trouble and constipation should
read the following: 81 have never
found anything so good for stomach
trouble and constipation as Chamber
lain's Tablets. l have used them Off
and on now for the p asst two years.
They not only regulate the action Of
the bowels but stimulate the lives and
keep ones body in a healthy condi-
tion," writes Mrs, Be niamin Hooper,
Auburn, N. Y.
For sale by The Roberts & Leahy
Mere. Co.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
A Refined Request.

81 hear" said the ultra fashionable
lady, that some sugar comes from Il
refinery. Does your sugar come from
a refinery"
Eyes. madam"
"Well, give me some Of the most re.
fined you have"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
The poaet nefore the Flaht.

"Why do you call the man who
teaches you boxing professor"
"Well, a pugllist gets a lot of his rep
utatlon ON what he processes to be
able 20 do"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Give the Lordsburg mother Of a
khaki lad a chance TO do some resolut-
ing and she will resolve to pray for
the safety Of her boy that he may be
returned to her clean and whole and
with the honors Of a hero.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

"Alnybe he hasn't found himself yet"
consoled the confidential friend. isn't
he gifted In any way7"
"GiftedT' querled the father. "well,
/ should say he Isl Everything he's
got was given to him. "-Harper's Mag
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
Ia pld.

"You remember Jimmy Unison, the
bad boy everybody said would surely
come 10 a bad endf"
"Yes, what Of himf"
Nothing, except that In his case
for once everybody was right"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Fido-T don't object so much to my
mistress kissing me, but I'd prefer Tor
her to kiss me before her nance, not
after.
Rover-Maybe he has his preference,
too.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
Generous Avowal.

you should weigh your words" said
the OrntOr's friend.
Eyes" chimed In another friend /;
"and we don't mind n you givo US
short weight nt that"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Perhaps the only advantage In n
large fighting front Is that It allows
ench side TO chronicle victories every
day.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

There is now a law that food in
storage more than 80 days must be
marked storage goods" which means
that there will be a greater demand
and higher prices in Lordsburg for
fresh eggs"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Bran Is now recommended as an ex-
cellent breakfast food The old COW
has known II all along.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

One local man claims that he has
convinced his wife that there Is moth
ing 20 conducive 10 giving a young
married woman a beautiful figure a.
carrying out the ashes.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
a Laudable Ambition.

Now this n our ambition.
Wen say Il. frank and blunt
A nice long row Of figures
with a dollar mark In front.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The army song that has replaced
"rpperary" deserves an honorable
nhece amonv the dogGorels OF war
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The Comedian-While / was on I
saw the young lady In box d look ut
me and then speak TO the elder lady.
Did you hear what she said, boy?
The Ush-Yes; she said, "Please
pass the fOrmaldehyde."
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
The Country Church Is the Ma
TONS BuIWark. Go to Church.

percentage Of the big men OF this big
country come from small country own
Most Of the REAL BIG MEN never for,
get their boyhood days when they went to
the SMALL COUNTRY CHURCH. The
simple lessons that were taught there have
GUIDED THEN THROUGH LIFE.
Their lives have been clean. Clean living
made for their success.
When the GO TO CHURCH cant
paign was launched these luen took Il com
mendable interest in it. BY attending
church they set a SPLENDID EXAMPLE
to the careless and indifferent. When a
real biz man GOES TO CHURCH the
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The problems Of 1918 are a c%ontinu-
alton Of the difficulties Of 1917, TO
which many LOrdsburg folks are ac-
custOmed.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

act is MORE POWERFUL THAN 4 DOZEN SERMONS.
Clear thinking people are quick to see thai there is something
REALLY WORTH WHILE AND SUBLllE in the church.
THE COUNTRY CHURCH LAID THE FOUNDATION FOR THE
LATER SUCCESS IN LIFE. READ THE LIVES or THE GREAT
MEN or THE COUNTRY. THEY TAKE PRIr1. m RECALLING
THEIR EARLY RELIGIOUS TRAlNINe-THe FINE IDEAS THAT
WE'RE INcuLcArED WHEN THEY WE'RE YOUNG. SURELY THEY
PUT TO SHAME soME OF THE %scoFFERs AT RELIGION AMONG
THE FLIPPANT YOUTHS OF THIS MATERIAL AGE. YOU CAN
COUNT ON YOUR FINGERS THE NUMBER OF SUCCESSFUL MEN
WHO DO NOT GO TO CHURCH.
The plea of some who have fallen away from the church is that
they are TOO BUSY to attend church. Yet men whose time is
WORTH 800 OR MORE AN HOUR do not Legrudge am hour
or more for God on the Sabbath.
No man is too busy to attend church. If he is successful he
should GO TO CHURCH to thank God for his success. If he Is
struggling he should ask Gods help.
GO TO CHURCH NEXT SUNDAY.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The world IL full Of backbiterg,
snOrters, chortlers, crouch kings and
knockers, and they all make sincere
New Years resolutions.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

New Years in the trenches will be
pretty much like the old year. Il must
be a mOnOtonouB life.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Resolve 70 help Uncle Sam help win
the war. This Is the best resolution
you can make.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

Anyhow every man IN L~Ordsburg
Who MAKES a good resolution this
New Years az least intends well
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28
ODDS AND ENDS
From LOrdsburg And Elsewhere

The best New Years we can have
in New Mexico IL 10 resolve to be
ready for a victorious peace.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-12-28

The paths Of life are paved with
good resolutions.
The sun., 1917-03-25
BUFFALO ALARMED
BY ANTI-U. S. PLOT
Delegation Appeals to Gov.
Whitman for Troops to
Guard Utilities. -

BUFFALO. March 24-Gov. Whitman
to-day heard the pleas of Councilman
c. B. Hill and James Z. L. Ferguson. rep
resenting the Chamber OF Commerce.
for sending militia to Buffalo to guard
the municipal water works, Industrial
plants and power plants.
The representatives OF the city barred
to the Governor details OF an anti-Amer-
lean plot made known to them by United
States secret service agents at con-
ference last night.
The secret service agents are said to
have discovered in-Buffalo a well organ
lied anti-American war party numbering
between 10000 and 10000 men. The
headquarters is said to be In a house in
South Division street. This company of
war plotters is said to have arranged to
get possession Of all the arms and am
munition In the city. They are said to
have listed even the rifles and the small
arms carried In stock by sporting goods
stores. These. it was said. were to be
seized in the event of war between the
United states and Germany.
AS soon as the information came 10
the directors of the Chamber of Com
merce they set about to devise means to
circumvent the plotters Armed pri-
vate guards were at once engaged for
the factories which the plotters intended
10 destroy. Then the Councilmcn were
called into conference. The situation
was discussed from 10 o'clock last night
until early this morning and quick ac-
tion was demanded.
Chief of Police Martin told the direc-
tors and the Councilmen that he could
not give the protection demanded with
the force at his command.
The sun., 1917-03-25
WILSON PLANS ARMY OF I,O85, 600;
24DESTROYERS ORDERED BYNAVY
All War Metals at Cost for u. S.

WASHINGTON March a4-Negotaons have been under
w between Bernard M Baruch chairman of the committee
mining and metals of the of National Defence important
corporations producing all kinds of Govern
of acquire their products price far below
market Not copper Steel but aluminium
BRASS nickel and of the metals included in
of the plan.
1t through Mr. Bauch that the Government able
recently providing
the Governments
of 6673o pound This is less than half of the price
Of the open The reached
the for the bulk of the figures
having the period before the which
copper shooting skyward
Negotiations with manufacturers have point
every prospect, THE SUN correspondent
that the and will be able all the steel they
much lower those prevailing market The
of the actuaed by the patriotic motives
that med the reduction of the price will in short
the similar that Of the big
companies
Judge Gary, of of directors of
Steel Corporation and the heads Of other big
panes participated in conferences with Mr.. Baruh,
of which forces been motion which will produce
duco price The Government will require thousands of
both the and the price that will fixed will
many millions of dollars.
negotiations with
aluminium will
by the steel and copper
The sun., 1917-03-25
ENGLAND MAY TAKE
OVER LIQUOR TRADE
Investigating Committee Said
to Have Decided for CoU.
ernment Control.
ssec,a, cas,e Drspn,ch 10 the srv

LoNpoS. March c4-It is reportcr on
reliable authority that n committee ap-
polnted A few weeks ago to investigate
the question of state purchase OF the
l!uuor traffic has decided in favor Of the
project and the Government Will soon
take over the entire trade.
There Is no indication that the Govern
mcnt intends to enforce unfair terms or
take any mandatory action. II will SIM
ply put the matter on a basis OF war me-
CeSsity for the greatest good of the brew
ing and diStilliUg interests as well as the
Government.
Owin,; 10 the grain shortage the brew
ing output has been cut down already
from 35,000,O00 barrels to 10000 900.
The brewers admit the trade could no
carried on under state control more ef-
ficientiy and economically than under the
present system of diversified competing
interests. with state control the burden
on the railroads would he relieved. eaor,
company sharing the expense OF the
others and each district being supplied
from the nearest brewery.
Tremendous pressure Is being brought
to bear on the Government to abolish the
old system OF public houses which are
used only for drinking, and remodel
them into ideal social centres after the
French plan, where sociability and re-
freshment would have greater import
, ance than satisfying the craving Tor
stimulants.
The sun., 1917-03-25
DYNAMITE BLAST
KILLS FOUR HERE
Six Others Seriously Hurt
in Queensboro Tunnel of
NeW Subway.

The premature explosion OF dynamite
night In the Greensboro tunnel of the
new subway. at a point 100 feet east of
the shaft on Blackwell's Island.
killed w. s. Reh OF 1851 Boston
road, an assistant Junior engineer of
the Public Service Commission, and
three negro laborers. besides seriously In
jured six other negroes. Nearly score
more negro laborers working In the tun-
mel were shocked by the blast. which
threw them against the walls OF the tun-
mel and bombarded them with n shower
OF earth and stones.
About forty negro laborers were work.
ing In the tunnel In charge OF Joseph
Brooks. a foreman Of blastere. Accord
ing to the stories obtained by the police
from survivors, a negro named John
stokes aud another known as Phonias
were setting the blast. and when the
percussion cap was being put in place
Stokes struck II sharply with a stick
The explosion Immediately followed,
killing Brooks. Stokes, Reh and the ne
gro Phon!as. Mr.. Reh was standing
about twenty feet from the scene OF
blast. The injured men were sent to
the Metropolitan Hospital.
The explosion was heard over all of
the island and across the water on the
Manhattan shore. Prisoners on Black
wells Island were thrown into a panic
and reserves from the East sixty
seventh street station and from Harbor
were hurried to the island to handle
the situation.
The sun., 1917-03-25
VATERLAND IS
BEYOND REPAIR
Inspecting Naval Officers Also
Find Other German Ships
UnuSable for Months.

Several officers Of the United States
navy made visit yesterday to the Ger
man steamships tied up at Hoboken 10
ascertain the exact damage that was
done to the machinery OF the vessels by
their German crews and officers !rnme-
diately following the severirg of diplo-
matte relations between the United
States and Germany. They -re shown
through the ships after considerable
grumbling by the German officers, who
refused TO take the American officers
Into some parts OF the engine rooms OF
several OF the liners.
The naval officers were able to see
enough to establish beyond doubt the ac-
curacy OF THE SUMS disclosures of the
work OF the German crews In damaging
the ships. The Vaterland. the largest
ship aioat at the beginning of the war.
they found had been damaged to such an
extent that it is improbable that she
could BE repaired and her engines put
in running order in this country. The
driving machinery of the big ship has
been knocked apart, parts OF her cylin-
and some OF her framework has been
destroyed. The naval officers were in
clined to believe the vessel had been SO
weakened that she probably would fall
to pieces u attempts were made TO get
her out OF her berth.
The German officers who showed the
Americans through the Naterland and
other vessels are reported TO have
boastcd OF the damage they had done to
the machinery OF the ships, and to have
expressed their pride in their work, All
the vessels were found to have been
damaged by the destruction OF parts or
the machinery. and particularly me
smashing and cutting away OF cylinders
marine engineer who Is understood
to have received reports OF the damage
, said yesterday that the vessels whose
cylinders had not been damaged might
be rnade ready for sea in from one to
three months, but that the ones in wnlch
the Germans had damaged the cylinders
would require from six to nine months
| for repairs. II they could be repaired at
4 in this country.
The sun., 1917-03-25
WHITMAN FOR SECRECY.
May suppress All News of state
Troop Movements.

ALBANY, March 24.-Fear on the part
Of local officials In upstate cities that
sympathizers with the German Govern
ment are encouraging plots against mu-
milton plan. and other large business
establishments. is likely to bring a rad
ical change in the method OF guarding
and protecting local properties.
Gov. Whitman was indignant to-day
when the fact became known that a del
epatioh Of Buffalo business men came
20 Albany to secure protection for prop
erty in their city. The Buffalo delega-
ZION comprised Charles b. Hill, Coun-
Gilman a. \. Landon, president of the
Chamber Of Commerce. and James r..
L. Ferguson, n member of that body
Gov. Whitman declined to say what
him, and the trio was equally reticent. II
became known tonight, however, that
their demand for the protection by the
smilitary forces had been refused, at
least temporarily, until the Governor
could discuss the feasibility of an en-
tirely new arrangement of precaution-
ary methods.
The Governor believes too much pub
licity has been given the movements
of troops in this State. He believes the
situation Is assuming such serious pro-
portions as to demand the most rigid
secrecy affecting New Yorks prepara-
tons for defence.
Gov. Whitman may even call a con-
ference of newspaper editors and put
the matter squ@rely TO them.
The sun., 1917-03-25
MOSCOW MAY BE NEW
CAPITAL OF RUSSIA
Moue From Pefrosrad Urged
for Various Reasons and
IL Probable.

WASHINGTON, March 24.-Transfer OF
the Russian capital from Petrograd to
It's ancient site at Moscow Is regarded
as highly probable in Entente circles
here, which have kept closely advised
regarding the situation In Russia.
The belief Is founded on reports that
retrograd Is swarmng with spies; that
t Is strongly under the influences of the
pro-German elements: that the real seat
Of reform for the present triumph is In
Moscow. and that such a change would
appeal strongly to the sentiment OF the
people.
Except In It's lack OF communication
with the sea. Moscow Is held to be quite
as accessible and convenient a centre as
Fetrograd. and It Is regarded as much
more secure against a drive by the Ger
man army. which is believed to be I'M
pending
The sun., 1917-03-25
Germans BOmbnrd sOissons,

4 German long range gun about t2
o'clock to-day fired a number OF shells
Of heavy calibre on the town OF Sois-
sons
Artillery fighting has been quite
marked in the regions OF Berry-au-
Bac and Rheims, as well as in Alsace,
In the direction OF Niolupy, south OF
Col de Sainte Marie.
AViat.on-On March % Adjt. Or
toly brought down his fifth German
a!rpane. To-day our special guns
brough, down German machine,
which fell In our lines near La Veuve
fMarne). This afternoon n German
hydro-airplane proceeding In the direc-
oon of Etretat tnorth-northeast of
Havre) was captured at sea. The two
avators were taken prisoner.
On March 23 one Of our airplanes
from a low altitude bombarded an
aviation ground at Marimbois. north
of Thiaucourt. A violent fire broke
out in the hangers.
On Thursday and Friday nights our
Ar squadrons dropped eleven hun.
de~d kilograms of projectiles on fac
tories at Thionvlle and the Briey
Basin, as we'll as ON the railway 4 a
ton at CONTAINS
Belgian-The Belgian batteries
counter shelled the German artillery
which bombarded the regions OF Dix
nude and Steenstraete. There was
grenade fighting north of Dixmudc.
French day statement--East OF the
st Quentin Canal we enlarged our
positions appreciably during the night
AZ some points our troops reached the
west bank of the Disc north OF La
Fere. We also made progress on the
east bank OF the Ailette
Enemy attempts against our small