The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-07-19

2 since Idaho went dry, since our "oDef
) er" has laid on the shelf so long it
: rusty"
Teachers occasionally receive LET
tiers from which they get much fur
For instance, a boy brought this not
from his mother: "Please let Jimm
sit the way he wants to, he has
boil" Anoher anxious mother wrote
PLEASE examine Tommy's seat an
see what tears his pants"
Old Bill Misgivins once knew 1
cross-eyed baseball pitcher who pu
over double out on one throw. Thu
pitcher threw the bail to the frs
baseman, who caught the runner OF
that base taking nap, and the mar
who was at bat struck at the ball the
cross-eyed pitcher threw to first base
and famed out.
If 'like cures like" as we've been
told, and if you should be i'll and not
know what is the matter with you,
why shouldn't it help you to try some
thing equally mysterious? The other
day we saw an ad in a city daily of
a healer who announces himself as a
practitioner of 'physiopsychic pro-
nomalism," whatever THAT means.
Z Z &
Occasionally you meet a farmer
who is a master hand at irony.
Saturday, Old Bill Misgivins remark
ed to one of these aristocrats of the
earth, at is hundred degrees in the
shade today" EYES," replied the
farmer in tone that held trace of
regret, "but the dickens of
it is / can't get much work done stay
ing in the shade"
The story is told of trainload of
Scotch soldiers who stopped the en-
CINE and took the water from the
boilers. The engineer, when taken
to account for the delay, explained to
the commander it was because "a lot
Of Scotchmen had sneaked out all the
not water from the boiler to make
yrog.' "They Gamma be countrymen
If mine," replied the commander
cor they'd nae bothered
bout tn water"
Two young lrishmen in a Cana
ian regiment were going into the
renches for the first time, and their
aptain promised them five shillings
ach for every German they killed.
at lay down to rest, while Mick per-
ormed the duty of watching. Pat
ad not lain long when he was awak-
ned by Mick shouting: They're
omin'! They're COMMIT" Who's
omin'?" shouts Pat. "The Ger
lans," replies Mick. "How many are
lere?" about fifty thousand"
Begorra," shouts Pat, jumping up I
nd grabbing his rifle, "our fortunes
adew
81 used to think a good DEAL" writes
RS. Old Bill Misgivins, "uv what
wuz goin' to say on my dyin' bed.
read all the last words NV great men 1
could find and off'n on had some {
ght purity pieces fixed up. But as
git higher the dark river 'puton'
mt appeal to me. l don't know as
n goin' to say it when the time
mes, but l do thank my Maker fer :
e gift to set back an do my part
thout any fuss err furore. 1t looks
if the whole world wuz busy singin'
e glory song an ever time / look
the graveyard in the sunshine over u
ere on the hill, ask myself what's N
2 use. | haven't felt so good in ?
airs as | did this mornin' when Old
Il, lookin' up from his plate, said, :
andy, never ct such biscuits in my III
2. They get better all the time II
contented man, as l see it, is wo- II
ms noblst work an the crown NV Il
= greatest glory" H
When Great Britain issued its first Il
to arms, Canada promised twenty H
usand men as first contingent H
contributor to Every Week says II
t for their preliminary training H
y had guns and bayonets but no II
forms. The uniforms were handed II
to them in packages as they board
the train for the seacoast. There
'e only twenty thousand uniforms,
only men in uniform were to be II
en- on the ships When the trains
shed their journey and the con-
rent drew up to be embarked, Of
RS counted the men. and found to
II surprise that there were thirty
re thousand men instead of twenty H
lsand. They were all in uniform, H
al least, each man was in III
of uniform. One had on the II
lsers, another the coat, another the II