davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
This May Sound a Lot
Like Good News, But Do
Not Cheer Too Soon

"Partisanship has all but disappeared
from the United States senate, remarks
a Washington paper, speaking Of the
senate committees war tax report.
This would be mighty cheerful news,
if one didn't go so far as TO ask the
why Of said disappearance.
To be satisfied with the cheer furnish
ed by this bare statement is a good deal
like feeling happy over news that your
brother has been cured Of appendicitis.
when the operation killed him.
The senate is in considerable part
made up Of nice gentlemen interested in
railroads, steel. oil, lumber, abnormal in
comes and excessive war profits, and
when the question is over taxing these
interests. they naturally get together.
The purse is mightier than the party
when the pinch comes.
United States senate records show
that
While in several recent instances in
which personal interests were not involv-
ed the present senate mas shown non
partisanism approaching genuine patri-
otism, no party wOrshiper need worry
over the permanent retirement Of par
tisanship from that body.
Hail. Hail the gangs all here, y viii
again resound thru those sacred halls
just as soon a party advantage get a
stronger pull than private interests.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Anniversaries
TonAY,s ANNr,ERsARIEs


1913 Cen Hawe leatc3 10000
sri-sh soldiers on Long Island
t-Tre people - Nantucket De-
-iared -aeus selves neutral and under
tr~ Ir en - England.
iS-l-Tte yacht America won the
fa- -, at .le international rr-
Eatta al rwes
ls Wea' vi'g'n,s adopted rev
.0ne' ttrfi-n
$3.50 Pre- ,-Ht Harrison ATTENDED
rh@ arE fe .g-rerst tone FOR fna
Indiana Soldiers and sailors ran D.
rlr-- ~ Ira arsaof
1904 treaty - com v@rce Re-
,~ee- German and turkey Mas
rl a. ar-farfincpie.
lssT Bread -fnfs wer@ threatened
Frame ~ account - re rise r
u H1nr chsnE's pace over
tlras u behalf 30 china We're reject
~ ry .fn Powers.
1'if AMOS eem9eilsd 20 withdraw
~ rarlerrt
isi- Germans occupied Russian
trrfrrFs ~ Nescwetz
ONE YEAR tCo TODAY N THE
WAR
Germans lrst ground On The somne
tr4 ~ Iv fronts
Severe rzh.inR between Russian,
ari Teu-sns ~ t-~ CarpathIans
Aries oar-pr~d bulgarian POSITION
~ rrfor - line but retired on both
farks
ron,Y's BIRTHDAYS
Cri Rrter, lee HOWE -hie' -
taT ~ che EurfNeaztern department
're aru Born 10 Rusk county
.tas years aK0 today
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
We Know How 1t Is:
The Price Is So High You
Want More of Them!

Be still, sad heart, and cease repinlng-
We are able today to read the depths
Of your innermost soul.
We know what troubles you.
We saw the newspaper announcement
the same as you did.
Nobody likes them better than we do.
Nobody is in better position 70 SYM
pathize with you.
They we're despised things once upon
the time-food for the lowly.
But now that they are 70 be 30 cents
a pound, they take their place with pate
de fol gras. the luscious sweetbread, the
fried oyster. black bass, white table
cloths. linen napkins, finger bowls and
the rest Of the elite.
We are speaking of pork chops
heretofore a delicacy only TO hear the
Pullman porter tell 1t.
We are speaking of the article
"greazy" on which the minstrel man re-
ported himself "livin' easy.
Are you fond of them?
Are YOU cut to the quick by the mar
ket report that this integral part OF the
hog has gone over into the millionaires
class?
Are YOU firmly convinced that We COM
mon people have been delivered body and
soul to the packers and that we are
bound for demnition and the bow-wows
with no thought on the part Of our gov
eminent for our well-being?
Are you for cheaper pork chops?
If you are, LISTEN
We spring to the side of the meat
block to help you-to save you and 10
save for you your pork chops.
We are going to preserve them to you
at greatly reduced cost.
That is TO say, we are going TO advise
YOU how you can both save the pork
chop to your bill of fare and have it at
a reasonable price.
Are you ready for the advice?
All right; here goes:
QUIT EATING PORK CHOPS-FOR
THE PRESENT - AT so CENTS A
POUND.
That'n turn the trick, brother, just as
sure as you are foot high.
Don't buy EN-.
Don't eat 'em.
BOYCOTT EN-
You cannot eat your cake and have il.
Cut EN- out for while and the price
of them will drop down where they Will
again be so cheap that you won't care
for them.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

Which | wish to remark, and my Ian
guage is plain, that the devi' is much
moderated gent, that his activities are
wider spread, or wide spreader, as the
case may be, than this skeptical age is
pleased TO suppose, and that, further
more, he does not confine himself 70
souls of men, but that he can. and does,
inhabit inform and control not only ami
mails but also wood, stone and metal
am a firm believer in the inherent
cussedness of inanimate things.
There's the collar button, for instance.
Designed originally to enter a little slit
in the back of the shirt band, that seems
TO be the least of its intentions; its favor
tie occupation is leaping out of your
hand and rolling heavens knows where.
If the Old Nick is not in all collar but
tons, shirt studs, cuff buttons and the
like, why don't they go peaceably into
the holes they were made for?
While | am about it, too. I'll just take
whack at the fountain pen. Ail you
can read about them is the advertise
ments that tell you how grand and noble
they are But did you ever try to chauf-
feur one of the dunn things? 1t leaks,
and goes dry, and spills, and does about
everything else except write. own one
because, theoretically, it's the lazy mans
friend, which same is the undersigned.
But if they heard all the things I've
said to and of said pen they sure would
put me out of the choir
Again, let me animadvert upon certain
corks which you want to get out of GER
tain bottles in a hurry for certain
friends who are standing around, only
10 have said corks crumbe and let the
corkScrew slip out and further resist all
efforts of extraction until YOU have to
drive them in and then have to strain
the little cork crumbs out Of your
grape juice before you can drink it.
Let US. while we're ut il, also speak OF
the dinged matches that break off up
close to the head when YOU go to strike
EN-. and the rug that keeps creeping up
under your chair. and the hat that viii
not stay put but is forever somewhere
else when YOU want il, and the wood that
won't burn in the fireplace that smokes,
and the address that you made note
Of but has mysteriously disappeared, and
the pipe that is always stopped up, and
the letter that you know you put right
there in that pigeon-hole and now has
gone and hid, and the tire that blows out
just as you have barely time to get To
the show, and the telephone that gets a
"line-busy" spell just when you're in
your bloominest hurry, and the collar
that saws your neck. and the egg that
contumaciously jumps on to your dress
shirt front exactly when you wish to APP
pear most elegant, and-oh, well, what's
the use.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

Mach summer sickness and
great deal Ut uncomsortablenes
may be yoided T. reasonable care
Is exercised n the choice OF a
vacation place
Ordinarily he questions which
are asked when one ls seeking a
place FOR The holidays are about The
character ~ the food and bed. the
extent % The social life and the
opportunity Cor games and sports
These are important but they are
~ socardary Importance as compar
"a With the question OF the health
fu,ness ~ he locality in which Il
intended 20 rest during the warm
days Vacation sanitation. IN other
words shouid be considered
Don't choose place whore ,he
water SUPPLY comes from a stream
which receives fhe drainage % hu-
roam hahftafiors nr place where
-re Mater is drawn from a shallow
wei or well that IS apt 10 re-
-eire ne drainage a. ou'houses
one % The things which r. de
red hv city folks "a the country is
milk And milk which e. produced
rs dI-fg ~oH- IN dirty stable and
banded by dirty hands is unfit for
human consumption Tho best ad
WORT semen' any country resort can
have r. clean. airy. wholesome
dairy IN which clean cows are milk
"a by clean laborers
0on+ 20 20 a summer resort
where the windows and doors are
nor carefully screened Flies. NOS
Glu0es and other insects are dan
gr~ous carriers 81 disease germs
and arc 10 be avoided
A resort without good bathing
faculties g. no resort a. All "a Far
as tho keep cool and keep well prob
em are concerned
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
The Old Gardener Says

If pass IN mo home rarden io
place Eori pieces 0f board uad.r
no'r he mu-kmeiors and 'hr
nafrru eions. or else 20 stand
ihfm on md when This 81 dome
fno ir will ripen much Mora
uniformly and there wIli Do
danger ~ early decay uh''
eirev0rms viii not have a1 ol
qorf1nify 20 eat into tho sfin
NrfsaFar. Tho fruit Hil ioak
r 1niVer when cHf Tor tf"
fthe Spraying with HDfirtHx
mixture s FfllI necessary rrr
raufInn sometime fho vines Eo
down very quickly before ftn
blight iafe in thc season
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
\ Get-Rich-Quick Scheme

Two Young lrjshmen IN Cana
dian regiment were going into the
-onches for 'ho first time. and their
captain promised them FIVE shIiliags
Zach for every German they killed
P1f JAS down fo rest, while Mick
performed 'he duty % watching Pat
d not Jain long whom he was
vaFcnel d. Mick shouting
They're comm" There comm 10
WHO'S comm - shouts Pat.
THE Germans" replies Mick.
"Hou many arc there
"Nbnuf $4,000
-Hcrorre. shouts pat. jumping
s1 ard grabbing his rife. "our for
uno's made"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

ASHLEY. Ala Thornton Dyk" Is
cooling his ground floor bedroom
with hts automobile lie drives thc
machine right up 20 the open vim
dow. disconnects part ~ tho engine
and rcvertes ne M. using 81 'o
blow cool air into The room AZ Nrst
The ocor % gasoline bothered Nrs.
Dyke. but nhcn Thornton told ner
it would drive away moths she didn't
mind % am more
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

UNISON. Ga In using his wooden
lex ga lever in prying hts auto out
~ n ditch. Gerald Afsin broke it
Al'ho he Tof the machine back onto
She road Just az no ieg broke. 40.
kins had 30 wait seven hours t.,
another anio came and 'oRed hiu
Ia he couldn't operate me gear
and brake pedals with only ono leg
he viii not be- ahlc 90 use h's ma
chine Tor month. having 20 send
10 New York for new log
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

DEPARTMENT light 81 truth on
operations q the Advertising faker the 9laes arc s."
advertisers nave
have Tsieo Or
suped 20 honest
Users nor &c
ADVICE MI
Address, Ire AdMrror, The Times Detroit, Mich
faorl-nE celige
E HAYES Manufacturing company Mchiean corporation ng@Fd
$3.50 Mybu Grandaye Is given arst rate ~ credit BY dstree
Slo000 The
president la smith Foepresdent X Ii
president. n 2. Carrow
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Ip-to-Date

Tho following conversation occur
rcd. in one Of iho'lunch rooms. The
other DAY.
Customer Please add two sinkers
81 German FIankfnris a cup Of Eng
Hsh breakfast toa and two French
rolls
Waiter 20 tho cook One war on
q tray
CUSTOMER Please add two elnkcrs
tdourhnufel goo w1 order
Walter 90 the cook Throw u a
couple H = boais.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

CRYSTAL LAKE.. lll Tho Hay
Fever league has organized an ag
fa'i0n against Voting 'h. afe dry.
League member had go p-iviirge rs
in the town brewery gofafiur
room. where fhey Raycd cards and
read the papers The secretary says
tho members are not opposed 10 the
Temperance movement but D. VIII
be- an economic hardship "a have fo
~ north every summer instead ~
getting relief by cold storage
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Resistance Useless

Cen. ShoitoD WHY IN seven kinds
% blue blazes did Won surrender
Mai she'tki I was lnboring an
dor great mistake
Gen Slorrn what mistake
Nal Shel Tho enemy started
10 storm our trenches with cups,
saucore. skiilofs pnd rolling pins
Cen Shoffan What ~ that?
Mai Shcl xii thought my wife
was after me and that resistance
was useless Judge
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Despite the Evidence

"1' .s mean rho way The neighbors
ak BON. jim"
"lu Hhat. aay7"
"Heralee thoy 500 him our with
.nr lawn mower in fhe morning and
efh fhe OabY carriage ln no aftcr.
soan fh.y say be has no push about
I'm"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Usual symptoms

Ar' you sure he is crazy. doc
tor"
"Yol are hts wife, you ought 90
know
Put I've been married twice be
fore and thought be- acted about
fhe ame az the others life
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Health Questions Answered
HARDENING Of Arteries

y y What causes hardening
- Tho arteries and what can be done
to prevent such condition
Hardening ~ The arteries IL caus.
"a by Oversfrain, excessive use %
alcoholic liquors and specific dis
ease Avoid tho foregoing and
chances arc you will avoid harden.
irg ~ tho arteries
2 w 'T am constantly troubled
In 'he gWmmer'ime With itching OF
fhe solps % my feet Would tho
Ives n black socks be apt to cause
ffls7"
Ycs that r. frequent Gauss ~
fch'nr Try bathing your feet with
d salufion ~ bicarbonafe ~ so--
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
They Are

Mltorl Your wife used 20 sing
and play great deal hive no.
beard her lately.
Su.ford Since We have had chill
frrr te has had no time
Nlfofd An. children are such a
blessing Everybody
INDIA peanut crop jig ilfI4J0
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

That's all very we'll" said Terence bitterly
But the point Is this II ! don't marry her
shall have 20 give up eating"
The captain and tho mate on board tho Pretty
Polly were al loggerheads They scowled when
over they met and seized opportunities OF scor-
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

es, that's me, said Ter
cnce gloomily
Him Well. old man" con
tinued Mike. ! really scarcely
know whether 10 congratulate
You or not know she's 60,
plenty of coin You'll have 20
civ" up theaters. you know.
and also smoking and drink
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

IrF nf Zach Ofhrr With fcariuI
plec Each took turn az max.
ing tho days entries in the log
book. and the mate whom max
INK his entries was very sur.
prised 10 find I'm the captains
handwriting the words.
"June 2. 1917 Mate drunk"
IIo stared NJ 80 wrathfully a
moment then slow grin
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
The Keep Well
Column
RESORTS

Even those who take their Va.
cations along in the waning end Of
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

current with it's owner still hanging fast let
20 Of the colt and hang TO the mare" shout
ed some OF his friends "Roohi" exclaimed the
Hoosier. spOuiing the water from hts mouth ITS
mighty fine telling me 20 let go 'he colt. but 10
a man who cant swim this amt exactly the
time FOR swapping horses"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

wire 100. fN iilfb ille Alff. 4 itf
Hoosier, as he rose putting
and blowing above water.
caught hold OF the tail Of tho
colt. not having n doubt but
thar the material instinct OF the
animal would carry him safely
ashore The old mare made
for The land. but she frightened
colt swan Justify down Tho
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Laugh With Us

An Indiana man was travelling down tho Ohio
IN a steamer with mare and two-yearolG colt
when by sudden caroen 90 The boat all three
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

AZ all that sort OF thing "a
claimed his Wife
Well lts this way. said
OldhlrA We've got this here
new motor car. au' we've got
tO DO keeriil sont Fay that
I'm liable To- exceed the speed
limit but n ] should 7 want
10 be in a position 10 800
lro deal" -
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

80 you're engaged 70 Miss Oldcash. Torence?"
said Mike extending his hand
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

broke over his face. lie took his pen and
wrote
June ?. 1917 Captain sober"
~ think I'll become special constable" said
Mr. Oldbrd suddenly
why I Thought Won iaoro4
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22
Inanimate Cussedness
BY Or. FRANK CRANE

Copyright. 1915. by Frank crano)
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

CFror the Diary ~ our Wei-Nro0n citizer
and Long Residert NJ Ultimate Consumer
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

How much viii pigs feet be an inch7
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

hat ! get a square dsal"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-08-22

In war bali and a hop are not -ynony
nous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-23

cation. Later he attended the Insti-
tute of Electrical and Mechanical En-
cheering at Mitweida, Saxony, King
dom of Germany, and is graduate
of that college. After finishing school
he came to America, and has since
lived in this country, except when he
has returned abroad to visit his rela-
tives. He was in Europe on such
journey when the war broke out, but
returned soon afterward. He is TAX
ing his papers of naturalization to be-
come an American citizen. He is now
engaged in his profession in Omaha
His cousin, Mrs. Fred Kraft, and Mr..
Kraft, and their four children are in
Topeka for the wedding, and are his
guests at the National hotel.
X y X
Announcements have been received
from Mr. and Mrs. H E. Beauties of
Colorado of the marriage of their
daughter, Edith Nora, to Mr. Floyd B.
Nichols of Topeka. The Beauties
family formerly lived at Maple Hill,
aid Mr. Beauties was state forester.
The bride is a graduate of the Kansas
State Agricultural college, and this
spring she received her degree of
Master of Science from the Wisconsin
State university
Mr.. Nichols came to Topeka from
southern Kansas. He is a graduate of
the Agricultural college,. Manhattan,
and is now associate editor of the
SdppST arm publications.
Mr.. and Mrs Nichols will make
their home at $40 West Thirteenth
street.
A visitor in Topeka who is being en-
tertatned at number of parties, is
Miss Norma Dolores Petro, of Hutch
1nson, Kansas. She is the daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. F. H. Petro, and the
family formerly lived in Topeka They
went to California from here, and
spent five years on the coast and are
now making their home in Hutchin-
son.
Miss Petro was very we'll liked as
a young school girl when she made
her home in this city. She went from
here to Los Angeles, where she was a
student in the Los Angeles high
school. She finished high school at
Long Beach, and for her record as a
student she was awarded a scholarship
in Mills college.
She is interested in music and in
dramatic art. She has studied music
and expression for a number of years,
and after finishing high school, she
was appointed manager of the chill
dren'S matineeS at Liberty theater
She took over the entire management
of the department, and did a good
deal of reading before women's clubs
and in public entertainments, in ad-
dition to that office.
Last year she was a student in
Mills college, Oakland, Cal, which is
the only college for women of first
rank in the west The courses of
study are similar to those at WeIles-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-23

in full bloom. This species is rare and
Mrs. 5. A. Chappelle OF Aoi k' Is tnl
Mrs. Clyde Ate of Emporia, is visitini
The G. G. class with their teacher, Mrs
Z. A. Dunlap enjoyed a picnic at Gag
park park Friday evening n1e:n,s,s Of Torr,nptop
wyoming, spent Monday and Tuesday witt
Mrs. w. b. Chubb and family
Dale and Russell Sims OF Berryton, ar
Those from Highland Park who at
tended the Ladies Aid play at M Mann ersss
sons, Mr. and Mrs. E. A Dunlap and fam
| lily, Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Mems. Mr. and
Mrs. j. Tompkins and Miss hohnle.
Mrs. j. Chubb went to Usage City Fri
day for short visit with relatives.
! Mr. and Mrs. Bert Charles who nave peei
Carter and family have returned to then
home in Salina.
have returned from a weeks stay In Beat
rice, Neb.
Mrs Kate Nelson is the guest of he''
! Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Coleman had for dim
ner guests Friday evening. Miss MAUD
Cowdrey, Mrs. Geo. Brucklacher and X
T.. Cowdrey.
A young mems Sunday school class wal
organized Thursday evening at the nom
of Mr.. and Mrs. Paul Heinz. The nam.
has not been decided on yet, but the OF
ficers chosen are Orrin Berridge, presidentl
Geo Crawford Vt seeFstary asa
Harry Davidson, Asa Crawford, Pau
Chance. sydney Eberhart. VIM. Hamilton
ley and Orrin Berridge. Mrs Heinz wa;
assisted by Inez Berridge, Avis King aht
Mildred King.
Mrs. ID. v. sVance. Carolyn Vance, Mrs
VIM. Coleman and children will spend mex
| week camping near Wakarusa.
| The s. |. club held their regular meet
! ing Thursday evening at the home of Mis-
Vera Sanford. New officers elected were
President, Miss Christine Fisher; VIC
| president Mrs. Elmer Ahlstrom; secretary
Miss Vera Sanford; treasurer, Miss Pear
| Shaul.
couple of weeks with her aunt, Mrs. A. =
| Marriss of Ozawkie
Mrs J. Rains was the guest Tuesda
of Mrs. j. NJ. Merrill of North Harriso-
Mr.. and Mrs O. Sims and family arf
Mrs. Don Reynolds of Oakland were diit
ner guests Sunday at the Il. Sims home.
Mr. and Mrs. 4. +. Kilmer and Mr.. ane
Mrs. O. L. Kimer were guests of Mr.. ane
Mrs. {. o. Kilmer the fore part OF tn;
Mrs Ella Davis of East Topeka is thu
guest of her sister. Mrs. W. X. Lott.
Mrs. II. Il. Nelson has returned from
short stay in Manhattan.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Rhodes expect .
occupy their new cottage, 18th anu Mary
land avenues, about July ~ uorr,son an,
Miss Lucille Weaver were dinner guest,
Thursday of Mr.. and Mrs. c. II. Withreli
Mrs. Frank \ Dung OF hlcHlhhu 'Hfeu "
friends this vicinity Wednesday.
The Art club will meet Friday with MRS
J. F. Going, Twenty-third and ONO ave
nueS. =.
Mrs Eta Nelson and Miss Nernh Mel
son of Topeka were guests mt the {. y
Buehrer home Sunday.
/ Peonle of Highland Park begin to re
alize more fully the certainty of war n
our young men called to report 70
DUTY sydney Eberhart, VIII calderwoSd
Earl and Frank Bunce are members Q
Company A of the engineer corps,
children's day will be observed Sunda.
o+ II n m A program will be given II
the afternoon by the Township Sunda,
School association. which was possponae'
from four weeks ago on account Oh ram