Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-10-05
DON'T MARRY OUT OF YOUR AGE
LIMIT.
BY DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman
Writer.

| n lad of twenty is in love with a wc-
| A man OF thirty. The lady is will
ing, but holds back because she
doubts the wisdom of marrying man
so much younger than herself, and the
couple ask my advice in the matter.
With all the earnestness of which /
am capable entreat them not to com.
nit matrimonial hari-kari as such a
Union is bound to be. Not once in a
million times does marriage in
| which the woman. is ten years older
than the man turn out successfully.
| Practically always it ends in misery
and regret for both parties.
There are many discrepancies be-
| tween a couple that time and effort
may adjust so that what seemed an un-
suitable marriage when it took place
turns out happily. The poor and hum
BILE man an aristocratic girl marries
may make money and raise himself in
| the world. The illiterate and uncouth
girl cultivated man takes to wife
may educate herself and acquire so.
ciety manner. People of different ma.
tionalities may learn to speak the
others language and adopt the others
habits and customs 80.
But insuitability in age between a
man and woman is difference that
time aggravates and that grows worse
and worse every year. And this is
particularly true when the woman is
the older, because women age faster
than men, and while affection may
nimbly skip across the bridge between
twenty and thirty and call it nothing,
only duty can halloo across the chasm
that separates woman's fifty from a
mans forty years. .
A woman is always older than man
is at the same age. She is born older.
A girl baby cuts her milk teeth before
boy baby cuts his. Also she cuts her
wisdom teeth sooner. tihe learns to
talk before he does, and she has made
up her mind whom she will marry
and what sort of a wedding she will
have before boy has found out that
woman, as a sex, even exists. And
she keeps up this running start on age
that she has gotten in the cradle, so
that she is an old woman while he is
still mere youth. .@> Z.
These are stern facts of nature that
no rouge or straight fronts or dieting
or massaging or thinking young
thoughts or milliners, or dressmakers,
can change one iota, and it is what
makes every marriage of mature
woman with boy a tragedy. And the
gall and bitterness of the tragedy arc
chiefly the wonlan's, for it is easier to
bear being tired Of an old wife than
for the old wife to know that her
young husband is wearied unto learh
of her. Hi
There are countless reasons why
a boy of twenty should not marry a
woman of thirty. The first reason is
that lad of that age is not fit to
marry any woman of any age. He has
not come to himself He doesn't even
know what he is going to be himself,
still less can he guess whe: sort of
wife he is going to need and want.
The woman that charms and thrills
a boy of twenty bores him stiff when
he is twenty-five and is an fnsupport
able affliction when he is thirty, Mems
tastes change in women just as much
do luSs ~ III toOuB anu HAL 10 III
more allured at middle age by the
feminine qualities that charmed him
in his salad days than his appetite is
piqued by the lollypeps on which he
was wont to feast as a school boy.
Marriage is mans sized job, son.
1t is not for babes and sucklings. Wait
until your shoulders are strong enough |
to bear its load and your character
and habits are formed Then you will |
be able to bring Judgment and discre-
ton and experience of women to the |
task of selecting wife who will real.
ly suit you. a And she won't be ten |
years older than you are. You car
gamble on that. You never see a |
man of thirty marrying a woman OF |
forty unless she has large and sub |
stantial bank account
Another reason why a boy should |
not marry woman much older than |
he is because they miss the only basis |
on which nlatrimony can be made a |
success, and that is having the same !
point of view, thinking the same
thoughts md liking to do the same
things. This is impossible when there |
is much disparity in age.
The boy husband wants tie amuse-
ments. the frivolties. the fun that ce-
longs by right to him in the play time
of life. but the wife has arrived at |
sober middle age when she 10 tired, |
and desires to let out her corset
strings. and cut down. the heels of |
her shoes and wash off the paint onl
her face, and be comfortable. She nay
force herself to drag along with ner
youthful spouse, but there's no pep
or ginger in her forced pref snse of
Measure, and she is a nliseI-y 70 her