davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
CHARLES MacLEONHARDT,
EditOr-in-Chief =.

Huckelberry Finn, Associate Editor
Lucy Corntossel, Society Editor.
General Nuisance, Fighting Editor.
Uncle Ez Zarrow, Cartoonist.
Rastus Johnson, Sporting Editor.
Matilda Ebbs, Movie Editor.
Katinka Zarrow, Scenic Artist.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
MOST MEN 30

Keep your eye on the grille you
love- and thirty others, -Advertise
ment Of CINCINNATI music house.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

The other day l heard lady
say. California peaches, right
fresh from the shores OF Lake Mich.
igan. John OverdeeH Warner
school,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
HE MUST BE A cUT-UP

l butcher myself every Saturday.
Sign on Columbia, ILL.,, butcher
shop,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
HlcKSvILLE BREEZE

Published every week to tell al
most the truth. and lives up to its
reputation.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
TOWN NEWS

The town board. has voted to
take the Lamp post down which
has stood FOR yeaEs ut 1arrow's
lane.
To cut down expenses the whole
village has signed the more day
light PLAN and pledged themselves
to be in bed by not later than
seven o'clock during the winter
months, therefore Fights will be
Of no use and the posts might az
well be taken down
Hiram Boggz took q load Of hay
to the city yesterday, and returned
with load Of rye.
II has been announced that Ar
Media Weatherby has accepted O
position in the electric department
OF grocery store. Ez Ebbs' said.
"Who ever heard of an electric de-
partment In q grocery store?"
when Bonnie Goets spoke up and
said 1ske must be going to take
care of the currant&T
81 Perkins snfd 'its nothing unus-
ual to see q king crowned, he had
a dentist crown . tooth for him
once: and on another occasion his
wife Crowned him with o rolling
pin"
Luke Weatherhy borrowed Ez
Ebb's lawn mower last spring, has
returned 1t and borrowed the snow
"The Remaining Three" is the
new name for the old maids club
in our village. 1t was possible to
change the name from "Our Dash
ing Girls" to tho above name, be-
cause most Of the old settlers who
almost remember when some of
these ladies were born Kicked"
on calling them @dashing girls" as
1t left an untruthful impression on
the villages character.
The town board has passed res
olution that AL people with cats
must keep them home at nights:
and furthermore TO prevent less
accidents, all cats must have their
Toe nails fled 30 they can not
scratch.
lin Corntossel, who has not done
lick of work since the Civil war.
las been talking around that he
intends to start q war garden next
ear. Most OF the people know very
veil that Mrs. Corntossel will have
o take care OF 1t.
The Massby family gave a party
asst Wednesday night, and all sorts
I games were played One game
4 particular was called kissing"
nd the instructions were that if
ny fellow refused to kiss girl
hen he called upon he would
Q fined ten cents. Bedelia Lukin-
2. who is known by everybody as
le ugliest girl in Bean county came
ONE with four dollars and eighty
ents.
Willie Shoots was asked to make
p a sentence using the word "de.
IiT-and after a little studying
IT UP and recited his little master.
ece-"De tail of the cat Is short"
Men Don't Fllrt.
Hez ZarrOW'S wife told him the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Sign In a barber shop-"During
alterations, patrons will be shaved
in the back"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
Old Maids
Corner
(Their latest Gossip

The Old Maids have already be-
gun to find people who want to join
their society, for instance, Kenneth
Murphy. One night after he had
read the Old Maids Corner, he had
to 60 to town. and don't you know
he wore three pairs of stockings, a
sweater, a coat and an overcoat,
his shoes and overshoes.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
Just Extra
FLivVER CLUB NOTES

Speaking of fiivvers, Hiram
Squashby has purchased one OF
those contraptions, and when it's
not in use his wife puts it in her
knitting bag.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
GINGER JAR LEAKS

What did that aviator do who
said he was going to carry UP a
crate OF chicken with HIM for the
boys in camp?"
"He-why, he few the COOP"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Reginald Todd's got a peach of
q wheel. He loaned 1t to a girl one
day and Aunt Mahitablc and Aunt
Matilda both tried it.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

One way to keep warm is to
breathe deeply with the mouth
closed. Another way is to spend
more money for COAL
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
EDITORIAL

Never argue with a man who
talks loud. You couldn't convince
him in a thousand years.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
Things Are Bound to Sound
Funny When Grammar Gets Mixed

FOR RENT-A furnished apart
ment suitable for young lady with
folding doors.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03
WHY NOT BOMB SEED?

Wanted-Good. fertile sauerkraut
seed. ]. d. Beck.--Adv. in Eagle
Pass. Texas, paper.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Dan Ross said that IL Old Maid
Whitesell put his name In the Cor
ner again, he certainly would say
bad word, and now what will he
do that she has told on him?
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Old Maid Whitesell's favorite
song is ooh. Johnny, Oh, Johnny,
Oh"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

LOST-Near town hall, seaI-shn
jacket belonging to a young lady
trimmed with red flannel,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Old Maid Whitesell dressed like
an old maid at the Halloween
party, and she was informed that
IL she always looked like that she
certainly would be one.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

It looks as though there is going
to be a gallant fight between Prof.
Englebert and Danny Ross, but
from the way talk goes, guess that
Professor is going to be the lucky
one.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Old worn-out tires may be put tt
good use by using them for teeth
ing rings for the baby. ..
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

" y
he wore three pairs Of stockings, a
sweater, a coat and an overcoat,
his shoes and oyershoes.
Reginald Todd's got peach of
wheel. He loaned 1t to a girl one
day and Aunt Mahitablc and Aunt
Matilda both tried it. ..
Old Maid Whitesell's favorite
song is ooh. Johnny, Oh, Johnny,
Oh"
It looks as though there Is going
to be a gallant fight between Prof.
Englebert and Danny Ross, but
from the way talk goes, guess that
Professor is going to be the lucky
one.
Edna Mae Ruby one of the Old
Maids, wrote a very clever little
poem the other day, which Is as
follows:
Three Old Maids all 60 TO school;
Three Old Maids, and one Is a.
Ounce. ...s-,
Aunt Mahitable's fond OF cats,
Because you know they scare the
rats
Aunt Matilda will so foolish be
AS to talk to any boy she'll see.
Aunt Lizzy James as sweet as can
be.
Because, you know, that. she is
Me.
We hope that Nc. McManus will
excuse us for putting Jiggs into
real life at Garfield, but we have
to name M. Lar Maggie" and
F. s. "Jiggs."
Old Stump Keller is very fond Of
little frog which she brings to
school in perfume bottle full Of
alcohol
Old Maid Whitesell dressed like
ON old maid at the Halloween
party, and she was informed that
IL she always looked like that she
certainly would be one.
Dan Ross said that IL Old Maid
Whitesell put his name In the Cor
ner again, he certainly would say a
bad word, and now what will he
do that she has told on him?
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

Old Stump Keller is very fond of
little frog which she brings to
school in a perfume bottle full of
alcohol. -.-. -.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

We hope that Nc. McManus will
excuse us for putting Jiggs into
real life at Garfield, but we have
to name M. LaF. Maggie and
f. s. "Jiggs" =.-~~
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-03

All autos will run better when
the tanks have gasoline in them;
except electrics, and you can use
currents to operate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15

was yaller which we PERSON is why
Cy was so generus with EN-. All we
could do with EN- was to feed EN- to the
hens.
Gid Johnson tribe to repair his old
clock last wk. Gid TUX il all apart from
stem to stern and lied it all thru but
when he went to put it together agin he
had three wheels and seven screws left
over and now the clock wont run tick
whereas afore he fixed it it would run
for few minnits at time. Gid says
he calkilates if he had a few more
wheels and screws he could bid another
clock jest as good as the one he has.
Yes, we persoom he could but whot
would he have when done?
Ourself and wife was the gests last
Sabbath of Jerushy Perkins to a
chicken dinner and we don't know when
we hav riz up from eatin table SO full
of chicken and other good things until
we was in distress all the afternoon
and woke up with headake on Mon
day. Outside of this we enjoyed the
occashion immense and hope Jerushy
will repeet the invitashion at no distant
date.
Jabe Crum who lives three miles west
on the turnpike was saw In Bingville
shakin hands with trends one day last
wk. That is Jabe was saw by others
but he wassent saw by us. If we had
of happend to of saw Jabe we would of
askd him if it would be convenient to
pay us doller or SO on his back sub
scrlpshion. We PERSON that's the reason
we diddent see him.
Miss Amelia Tucker apeard at church
last Sabbath in a new sky blue dress
which she made all herself. Amelia
(who we most forgot to mentchion is
our raining sossiety queen) says that
she thinks sky blue is becomink to her
partickler style of beauty. We don't
agree with Amelia-she is too saller
complicated to wear sky blue.
Please subscribe for the Bugle even
if you don't want 1t and thus help along
worthy but almost hopeless cause.
Instid of borrying your nabers Bugle be
man Cor woman as the case may bel
enuff to pay for the paper outen your
own pocket. Whot would become of
US, we ask, if everybody in Bingville
borried their nabers Bugie? In fackt
what we ask. is to become of US emmy
howf
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
Country
Correspondence
LANDS END.

Lands End items don't pear to be so
very plentiful as we take our pen in
hand to cronickle whot has happend IN
our midst slnst you last heerd from US,
but praps we can think up a few items
OF lmportants afore we git thru.
Sam Whittlebys wife Melissy has left
Sans bed and board and has gave out
not1s that emmy detts which Sam con-
tracks, in her name she positive will not
settle. This will be awful blow to
Sam becuz MelIssy has been his onlv
support for several yrs. altho Sam his
self is strong abel bodied man but he
lacks amblshun to work. Mellssy saws
that all Sam has did sinst they was mar
RED has been to git her new warsh Gus
tummers, but to give the devil his due
sam was turrible good at this being as
he got MelIssy more warsh custummers
than she could warsh for and she neerly
broke herself down trying to do the
work We wonder whot Sam will do
now without MelIssy.
Bill Henshaw took last Satterday off
and greesed his harness up IN good
shape but not before his. harness needed
It being as they amt had a good greesin
for 3 yrs. and Bill says they was so
dognashion dry they almost cracked
Rufe Atkins took his ole shotgun and
went hnntin one day last wk All Rufe
seen to shoot at was a MARYLAND he
msd that Rute amt mulch of a hand
with gun The neerest thing he ever
come to hittin was hisself when his shot
gun went off by axident. That was yr
ago and we persoom Rufe will suck
seed IN shootin hisself yet If he persists.
Mrs. Hen Jordan has presented her
husband with another fine bouncing baby
boy Hen says he would of been jest as
pleased if she had presented him with
somethink else which he could use and
which wouldn't be so expensive to keep.
being as Hen is alreddy the father of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
Personal Squibs

1t begins to look leetle mite like the
tall of the yr as we go to press and why
shouldn't it? Its gittin around to that
time of the yr when it ort to.
Harvest is over and the crops is gar
nerd as you mite say and we be turrible
glad to state that Bingville has had a
bountyful crop of most everything you
could mentchlon for which we all ort to
be devoutly thankful.
Cy Hosklns says in his opinyun that
we be going to have a awful hard
winter this winter, but then whot does
Cy Hoskins know about it we ask
thing a yr ago this fall and as a result
we had a milder wlntern ushual and
when you remind Cy of what he said he
denise 1t SO whot can you do with a
person like that? You cant do noth1nk
with EN- exsept to not put emmy depend
ents in ennythink they say.
Hen WeatherSby prop of our genl
store amt had emmy peanuts in stock
now for nearly two WkS and to evry-
buddy who has askd to purchase peanuts
at Hens store be says he amt going
to git emmy more IN. Hen says all the
time he has had peanuts In the past
foxes lnstld OF going home and eatin
EN- there etes EN- in the store and lit
tiers the floor all up and he gifts so tired
sweepln up peanut hullS that he has
des1ded not 10 deal in EN- further. Hen
may know his own biZness bettern we
do but we calkilate he will loose hole
lot of trade by stitch high handed polIsy.
MlsSuS Polly, McCrackln wife OF Abe
McCrackin has been sutferln Tor two or
three days from stuff neck to stitch
extent that she cant lay down and has
to sleep III a chair. Folly thinks she
ketched the stiff neck IN a draft. Be that
as 1t may Abe says he cant see that 1t
has arteckted PoAys tung IN emmy way
ever and Is so irrytabie that he cant
skeercely live with her.
AMI Gookins dropd IN last wk and
SAID he was a gong to pay us doller
Oh his back subscrlpSh1on which Is now
so fur back that were almost ateard to
look up now tur back 1t is. The worst
OF 1t was that when Amzl reec1ed INTO
his pocket tor the doller all he found
there was hole IN his pocket and he
said he must OF lost the doiler OuteiI
that hole. we have our doubts II AMI
mad a dollcr Ill the LIST place. be that as
1t may, 1t was IurIbie a1Sappintment to
us.
JaDe Tucker had his henroest robbd
totner night OF two lat yung pullets and
Seth DewDerry our lion narted town
constuDble has been put on the track OF
the gllty parties. Seth says he has sew
sral clews which looks favorable anu
he caIhIates To run dOWn the theetS to
erth atore long. Jabe says he wishes
to goodness lnstld OF stealIn the two
yung pulieIs these theets mad only TUX
lIls Gle plymouth Rock rooster who Is
IA yrs old next spring and toughern
trlpe.
hese is about all the personal squibs
which we happen 10 think OF at this
writing 1t we should happen to think OF
others we will make a note OF em and
persent them for your eddyticashion IN
next wks Boogle. Look out for same
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15

There was Yves freed with the
bull PAWN the ground and beller-
in under the tree. After awhile the
critter got its eyes on the gun which
he had throwd away, and it tranpd
it into the ground and busted it all
to thunder. Then it TUX up its place
under the tree agin and it was neer-
ly 3 o'clock in the mornink afore
the bull left the tree and Yves had
a chanst to excape which he done
as fast as he could and arrove in
Bingville about daylight all outen
breth and without no hat.
Last November Hank Dewberry
got license to guide hunters from
the City who mite come to Bing-
vile and shortly afterward there
was City chap arrived for a hunt
and hired Hank as his guide. This
Teller was from outside the State
and had to have license to hunt in
this vicinity, but Hank says that he
read that fellers license all thru
very keerful and there wassent a
word in it which entitled him to
shoot his guide.
Hank says that the teller shot at
him three times during the first two
days he was out with him in mis-
take for deer and if the chap had
been good shot he (Hank) would
not be alive to tell the tale. Hank
says that all he got for guidin this
hunter from the City was $three
dollers per day which wassent
enuff to pay him for Easing deth
evry day he went huntin with him.
In conclooshion all we haft to
say Is that them as goes huntink in
the woods with deadly fire arms in
their hands ort to be mighty shure
of what they shoot at afore they vi
and shoot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
Have You Got a Box?

Eph higgins, our accommodating
T. Nd. of the Bingville 2. D. sends IN
the follering with a request to print
same In the Bugle. Ephs commooni-
cashion is self explanatory. Here 1t is !:
TO THE PATRONS OF THE
BlNGVILLE P. o. GREETINGS
Tother day when diddent have nothInk
else partickler to do counted I'D how
menny folks who gifts their mail at this
otis has T. y. boxes and to my amaze
ment q surprise there IS only II This
is SIMPLY ridicklus!
The +. .. boxes is only ST. per an
mum TO rent one tor your own excloo-
slve use and this is only rs cts per quar-
ter or three months. Considering this
r1dlcklus low price of box to put your
mail III why IN thunderashIon IS It that
nine tenths OF the peepul of BIngville
makes me stuff their mail IN the Abe
boxes until SAID boxes is stutfd fit to
bust!
Not only that but whenever you who
amt got a box desires to know If there
is emmy mail for you I've got to look
thru mail Tor half duzLen other
fambIlies to lind out and halt the time
there aunt none ennyhow.
All l got to say IS that you ort to be
ashamed OF yourself not to have a box
speshially when they're SO cheep. Emmy
buddy can have a Abe box which is
ment for only common foxes but if you
desire to be considered amun2st the
aleet you'll engage box at onct and pay
me for quarter yT In advance for
same. How mulch more importanter it
looks for you to santer into the 2. o.
and say TO me Look III Box No so-and-
so, Eph" than to merely inquire. is
there emmy mail for mef"
In my capacity as employee of the
Government and servant to the peepul
desire to warn them as amt got paid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
LOOK AFORE YOU SHOOT"
EDDYTORIUL.

Tother day whilst we were a
glancin over the calender to see
which day of the munth it was it
happend to dawn on US that when
the LIST day of Ocktober arrives
(which amt so turrible fur away
the hunting season in this seckshion
will arrive and persons armed to
the teeth with fire arms will be per-
mitted to shoot deers, patridges &
other animuls too numerous to
mentchion.
1t also ockurd to us that it be-
hoofs us to dash off a eddytoriul at
this oppertune time on the keerless
use of fire arms in the woods, SO
here goes:
We feel it is our bounden dooty
to caushion our lokal hunters and
also sportsmen from the City who
come to this neck of woods to hunt
to be sfure that whot they shoot at
is game instid of somethink else.
Now take Yves Woodruff for i'll
STATISTICS is praps our most ex-
pert hunter and trapper and yit
IVES he makes mistake onct in
White and when a person like Yves
Woodruff who has spent most OF
his life in the woods makes a mis-
take whot can you nacherly eXpeckt
from a person who don't make
huntln and fshin a perfeshion like
Yves does
Evrybuddy recalls that only last
fall whilst Yves was a huntin deers
over on the side of Sawridge Noun
tang with his ole muzzel loader
shotgun which was loaded with
buckshot speshially for deer, Yves
he seen ~so1nethink thru the bushes
which he TUX for big buck deer
that he thort would dress at least
400 lbs. and mp with the gun md
let go at II and Wesses feelinks may
better be described than nnasind
when he reulised that he had put
few buckshot INTO the legs of
fteck Peters old red bull who Heck
had out to parstchure over on the
side of the mountaIng.
Afore poor Yves could apoIIyglse
to the bull the angry critter up and
TUX after him with its tail in the
air and its head down and bellerin
to beat the band
Yves throwd down his gun and lit
out for the neerest tree which hap
pend to be a slippery ellum and ii
was SO dognashion slippery that it
was all Yves could do to pull his
self up into the lower limbs by, the
time that bull struck the tree within
a hitch of his heels hard enuff to
dash its brains out if it had emmy
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15

boxes in the Bingville P. o. that unless
they rent boxes immeut lie take steps to
make EN- do so. In other words the
next time you who amt got boxes asks
for your mail lie simply reply There
amt none for you," without lookin
whether there be or not. How would
you like that, hey? In other words if
you want your mail prompt you'd better
hire box and do it quick. Otherwise
for wks. Take warning from this Off
shul motifs and guvvern yourself accord
ing EPH HIGGINS, P. M.
Bingville.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
Lokal Breefs

Cy HoskIus one OF our least re-
specified and titestwad subscribers
walkd INTO our offs one day last wk
and laid package tide up IN a moose
paper on our desk and says, I've brung
you a nice mess of cowcumbers." We
neerly tainted away when Cy done thai
beng as he is titern the bark to a tree
and we couldn't understand Cys gener-
ositty until after he had went we
opend the cowcumbers. There was
four of EN- and they was that ripe they
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
six girls and three bows.

Hi Saunders ketched seven pickerels
outen Gootchic Pond last Sabbath whilst
other decent foxes was to church. Hi
says somehow or other fish seems to
bite better for him on a Sunday than
any other day and he therefore calkil-
ates the better the day the better the
deed. PRO BONO PUBLICO,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-15
DoYouKn
WhOt Time It Is?

If not then its time that you got
that old rattel-trap of a clock of yours
fixed up so you'll know whot time it
is when you want to know. In other
words its time for you to have your
clock or watch 6xd By me. I have
now been in the watch and clock fxin
bizness in Bingville for several wl1s and
unless get more clocks and watches to
fix lie haft to go into some other
biznessi
If you desire ennythink did to your
watch or clock bring it to me at onct
and lie see what i can do to it for
you. l amt newer did mulch before
this in the watch or clock hxin line but
l calkilate after a little pracktise lie
be abel to fix watch or clock as
good as ennybuddy. Let me Pracktise
on your timepeece.
The 1st thing do when watch or
clock is prung me is to take it all apart
to see if can find ennythink the mat
ter with its insides. If | can lie nix it
alright, but if can't lie tell you the
truth about it and charge you accord
;no for the time it took me to take It
apart. If can't put it together agin
wont charge you for my time trying to
do that Amt this fair? What more
could a person do than thiss
/ mite also say that fix clock at
INV own risk. That is lie try to NIX 1t
for you and do the best can and take
all the risk of giving it back to you no
worsen it was when you brung it to me.
You will find me at my home most
emmy time of the day and all mite, but
pleese don't wake me up at mite to
fix your clock for you unless it is very
important. You mite just as well wair
until next morning.