Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1917-01-05

III goes to school ana acquires OF
fees and notice and various kinds
of success in his class when ma
ture gives way under the strain just
behind his ears, and the consequences
are horrible in the extreme. / know,
because L was that kind of a fresh
man and | had that kind OF trouble,
and l was operated upon for 1t by my
elders and betterS. 1t was a success
ful operation. Most of them are. But
it makes me writhe still to think of it.
OF all the cruelties ON this savage old
earth the custom of operating upon a
freshman for domus balloonicus, with
out giving him ether, is the most heart
less and inhuman. The Humane So
ciety ought to broaden its scope a
very little so that it could take in
freshmen and give them the protection
it is lavishing on the dumb varieties
of animals.
Looking back from this period of
ripper wisdom, l can see every excuse
for the freshman whose hatband
breaks with loud crack along in the
winter term. Freshmen are young
some of them inconceivably young.
The bones of the head, you know, are
soft and elastic in the very young.
They haven't the stern resisting power
of the older noodle cases. You take a
Seventeen-year-old freshman with wide
sutures in his green young skull and
fill his head full of compliments and
responsibilities and admiration and
success; churn these all up and mix
them with few cigarettes and a little
spare time in which to think about
himself, and what is the result? The
mess begins to ferment and put pres
sure on the skull. And what happens
then? That young chaps head begins
to expand and swell and get vast and
Dubious and full of gas, and it leaks
down into his conversation, and pres
emily he is firmly convinced that if
you were to set him il the center of
darkest Africa and let him talk for q
few hours the monkeys would be wear
ing dark glasses and quoting Latin.
1t isn't the freshmans fault. It's a
disease of his youth. I have no pa
thence with the people who think that
when young fellow of eighteen gets
to making funny noises about himself
and stands around on the horizon wait
ing for science to come and determine
his height by triangulation he is going
to be lifelong annoyance and ought
to be drowned like a superfluous pup
py. 1t isn't the first time in his life
that he has been loud and unnecessary,
and If he goes into politics it viii not be
the last time. Of course, he is a very
great nuisance, and I am in favor of
compelling him to go around with his
head in a grain sack for about six
months. But he will get over it; and
he has better chance in college than
anywhere else, because the upper-class
ter and have given it their careful at
tention. Let young man who is try
ing to wear one of the rings of Saturn
for hatband escape from college into
the world in this condition and it will
probably kick him to death trying to
cure him. But leave him in school for
few months and at the end of this
time, If he has not been overlooked
and has had proper care and treat
ment, he viii be wearing a thimble for
a skull cap and it will be coming down
over his ears at that.
Before / had attended Siwash COL
lege three months / had mislaid my
shyness and modesty and was a roar
Ing, unmitigated nuisance. When I
considered what / had accomplished
in those three months I felt so proud
that 1t was difficult for even me to
Imagine the respect to which / was
entitled. had come to Siwash, young,
unheralded, unknown. bashful, timid,
understood and ignorant. and had, by
my own sterling worth and ability
forced immediate recognition. / was
president of my class. | had led the
rooters through the football season and
had invented four new yells. / had
made the banjo club. / was mentioned
for cotillion leader. I had got over
my fear of strange girls and was so
popular that it almost broke my heart
when took a young lady to party to
think of the blighting disappointment
that would canker in a dozen gentle
bosoms. I belonged to the finest frat
in college-had chosen it myself after
carefully considering the merits of 9TH
er applicants.
The president spoke to me by name
The college paper jOked about my in
Euence. Siwash was better college for
my coming. OF course. was wasting
my time, but was no snob, and even
If II was d little school I intended to
stick to it until my junior year, any
way, and Pull it up-give it some tone.
And wherever went-to Yale or Har-
ward or Columbia-to finish up, ]
would always think kindly of Siwash
and defend 1T.
flor hod raf1aatod along +hoer