The Washington herald., 1917-12-19

Last Sunday night Teresa Snow
slipped on the stun that she was
named after. There was big frozen
hunk Of It right in front Of her door.
Weighing nearly an eighth Of q ton,
Teresa couldn't get up. She yelled for
help. A. little boy tried to help her,
but twas no use.
He ran In the house next door and
asked for assistance. He would. have
liked TO had a derrick or q steam
shovel. but none was handy.
Finally four men came and hoisted
the painting Teresa 70 her feet. She
swore. Ny. how she did swear. She
Just had TO.
Two doors up the street a woman
poked her head out OF the window
and told Teresa to shut up. Teresa
told her to 90 to where II never SHOWS,
but Is an abiding place for the clip
ping. So
She never liked that woman any
how. Soon a barrage fire Of choice
epithets was under way. Teresa for
got all about where she was going.
A cop hove in sight. The woman
at the window saw him first. She
got out of sight and hearing mighty
quick. Teresa kept right on.
She walked TO the patrol box with
out slipping and also paid a s. fine
and never, made a slip.
where's DR.. OsIerf
, Now. Jedge, please listen to a poah
ole culIud man. All hasn't done a
thing to dat woman, She's Jealous
cause / goes round TO see nah other
L.. rarkf ln
well, il looks as though you did"
said the court to Joe Miller, charged
with nauling Irene Toinian- How did
her eye get blacked?"
Its always black ledge. she CANT
help dat" answered Joe.
Il know about that part" said the
court. but you gave it a new hue"
Joe, who is about 60 years old, had
an argument with Irene, about his
attentions to other women. Irene.
somewhere around the forties,"
objected to Joe looking at q woman
any younger than she was.
The first thing she knew, one OF her
lights went out. Joe beat II to an
other part of town. But the cops
caught him just the same.
Christmas is coming and Irene may
want something in her stocking. So
she asked the court to be easy on
Joe. He was paroled.
The Girls VIII Fight.
Katie Freeman and Sarah Carter
have been knitting ever since Sep
tember. One Of the women goes 10
the other's house and they knit,
chew the rag and exchange compli-
ments.
Sarah has a son in the army. He
has been down TO the border and Is
probably now in France.
Sarah is always telling Katie about
what a noble youth that boy is.
Lately Katie has been getting tired
of such talk. She has a son OF her
own and as he is supporting her she
can't see the army at all.
The visits OF one woman TO the
other narrowed down TO once a month
They divided up the yarn last month
and called it quits
Sarcasm was getting rife and a
fight was brewing. Neighbors COM
mented on the separation and asked
questions of them both.
One day Sarah imagined that Katie
still had a sweater that she had
hulllcO. Cut went dIltI IL. IhGre
was a real old-time fight.
Hair-pulling. cussing. scratching.
biting, kicking, pulling and hauling
all over the place. Both got war
rants.
And both got fined SO each. which
satisfied both. 1t was a peace with
out victory.
"There Goes the BrIde.-
To celebrate his engagement 10 the
''swellest chicken" in Washington
George Travers gave a little party TO
his friends.
Like a nut, George invited some OF
his bride-to-be's former swecthearts.
What did he care. he had everything
oil fixed for the wedding.
The party got along very well for a
couple Of hours. Soon sCme under
handed remarks and whispers were
heard among a bunch I'm the corner.
George noticed that Eloise, his girl,
was paying too much attention 10
big flatfooted individual who still
wore his overalls.
He saw other distressing things. It
was not long before he broke out in a
He reached into his hip
pocket and sought relief in a pint bot
tie.
He gulped half OF it down and was
ready to fight all United States. He
leered up TO the big guy. who pushed
his nose in and sat him in a corner.
Out came a pistol Through the win
iows they all jumped. leaving George
in the room by himself. ready 10
shoot.
II.
for him, for sixty days at least. He's
In fOr that InpV