The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-04-16
AClOse Shave

| Jared Stone, q Well-QreSSeu' ueehiooh'
Ing little gentleman, had just settled
down in q corner Of a first-class COM
partment, when he heard q familiar
voice addressing him.
"Why, hello, Stone; how are you'
I'm right in luck today. I was just
looking for someone to take charge
Of Aunt Martha's bundles and assist
her out of the train with them when
she reaches Manchester. You're going
through, of course?
"Y-yes," answered Stone, family,
as he glanced up and recognized MS
friend Raemond, with his arms full OF
bundles of all shapes and sizes and
"Aunt Martha" grimly looking up be-
hind him like one of Napoleon's grena'
dlers. a-.
Now Jared Stone was of q decidedly
shy and retiring disposition, besides
being a fossil Of an old bachelor (Stone
was fifty, still single, and not only will"
ing, but anxious to remain SOY, and
If he could have had his choice he
would sooner lead a bayonet charge,
face n gang OF m%utineers or a midnight
burglar, or encounter almost any other
trifle in that line rather than take
charge of a woman and her luggage
during a railway journey. Therefore
the reader will kindly imagine the re-
marks (they will hardly do for print)
that Stone made under his breath as
he got up and, with forced politeness,
bowed the waiting female to the seat
next to the window.
"'Thank YOU said Raemond, as he
began piling bundles on Stones feet
and into his lap, whichever came tho
handiest; II knew you'd just as soon
do me the favor to take charge of Aunt
Martha as not, and I'm glad I hap
pened to run across you. She Is a
trlne hard Of hearing and-er-a little
eccentric In some respects, but you'll
find her frst-rate company when you
get acquainted with her. BY the way,
I came near forgetting to introduce
you to each other. Mr.. Stone, this Is
my aunt, Miss Martha Eakins." Then,
raising his voice, he shouted: "Aunt
Martha, allow me to present my bach
elor friend, Mr.. Stone, who will look
after you and see you safely off the
train with your luggage when you
reach Manchester"
$50 good of him, I'm sure. Happy
to meet you, Mr.. Stone" responded
Miss Eakins, with what was meant to
be a whimsical smile In Stones direc-
ton. .s
AT this moment the starters bell
rang, the train began slowly moving
out of the station, and with a hurried
"good-by," Raemond dashed out of the
compartment, leaving Stone alone to
face the responsibility Of. delivering
Miss Eakins and her collection Of lug
gage safely at Manchester station-a
responsibility which even the bravest
of Stones sex might well have hest.
tated to face. ,A. ru'' "a.
Now Stone, as I have previously init
mated, was not cast in a heroic mold.
He was a timid little gentleman, meas
uring probably five feet two in his pat
ent feathers, and his great aim in life,
30 far as the so-called gentler sex was
concerned, was to leave them severe
" alone and quietly flock by himself,
as Lord Dundreary used to express IT..
Miss Martha E:kins, on the con-
trary, though she had chiefly flocked
by herself through f1ve-and-forty sim
mering summers and the same num-
Der Of dreary winters. had done SO un-
willingly and under protest, as it were.
For q full quarter of a century the
tall and stately Miss Eakins (who
doomed nearly a foot above Stone, and
looked every inch a grenadier, as l be-
lieve I have before hinted) had been
on the matrimonial bargain counter
she had a snug little fortune in her
own right-waiting patiently for some
enterprising and a~ppreciative gentle
man to appear on the scene and take
possession of her willing heart and
other personal property. But. alas !
Thus far her waiting had been in vain.
Among her list Of acquaintances other
maidens, young and old, attractive or
otherwise, some with fortunes and
some without. had been taken, and she
alone had been left to mourn over the
p~erverseness Of mankind. .
Much brooding on the subject,
coupled with her infrmity Of hearing,
had at last resulted in the harmless
delusion that every man who treated
her at all politely was desperately in
love with her, and as Stone had not
been warned of this fact, it can read
lily be surmised that his present posi-
ton was one Of extreme peril-that Is.
49, ----- -E----- - -S-l 1900 >~~