Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-06-15
THE SEVEN AGES
OF A CONGRESSMAN
BY JOHN A. coRWiN,
Member Gridiron Club, Washington, D. G.

Tho Gridiron club of Washington. d. C.,
IL composed Of the Washington correspon-
dents of the big American newspapers
and Newspaper organizations. Twice each
year they give elaborate dinners at which
Q very large number Of the prominent
men Of the nation are the guests OF mem
bers of the club. Included In these guests
are the president and vice president
members Of the cabinet and the Supreme
court, diplomatic representatives OF for
eign governments, many senators anu
congressman, prominent army ana navy
officers and others from all parts or the
country who are prominent in financial,
Industrial. commercial and professional
lines These dinners are numbered among
the real events of the winter season at
the national capital, and invitation TO
one of them is highly priced. The mem
bers of the club provide an entertainment
of jests and jokes and caricatures, many
of which are at the expense OF prominent
guests but all of which are taken In the
spirit in which they are offered. and are
never intended to be offensive A rule or
the club prevents the printing of any
thing any guest may say at one OF these
dinners but 1t is permissible to print
anything any member of the club may
say or do a part of the program pro-
vided by the club. One of the many ap-
preciated features Of the program or
the last dinner was the following poem
prepared and recited by Mr.. John A. Cor
win entitled 1.-THE Seven Ages Of a Con-
gresham" 1t will be appreciated by ev-
cry reader of this paper. as 1t was by
every guest at the dinner:
"A Ii. the world of politics a stage,
~ And all the men therein are merely
players
They have their exits and their en-
frances;
And one man in his time plays many
parts.
His acts being seven ages At first the
infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurses arms,
The chief contestant in the baby show
At county fair. Then country school
teacher.
In winter term at fifteen plunks per
month
And boarding round with Blackstone un
der arm,
Dog-eared, we'll thumbed. and frowsy
morning face.
Creeping like snail unwillingly to school,
Whereat he fiogs numerically the boys
And kisses the more comedy bigger girls
To's hearts content.
IA ND then, scant twenty-three.
~ A licensed member Of the county
bar,
Prosecuting attorney by the peoples
A standing menace and a holy terror
To horse and chicken thieves; the mortal
Co
OF those who sell intoxicants or sack
In violation of the law; his stipend being
Two hundred bucks year, and fees de-
rived
From fines imposed on the unfortunate;
And many are the fines he doth contrive
To have imposed, and swiftly doth collect
On penalty of Jail.
~ EHOLD him now
10 At twenty-six part owner OF the
sheet
That issues weekly in his native town,
Hub-deep in politics, sudden In quarrel
Boosting the bubble reputation Of the
In season and In out; teacher Of Bible
class
An officer of Epworth and Chautauqua
Leagues
President of county fair, and orator
At all old settlers picnics: mayor of the
No salary attached, but great emolu
ments
In increased practice; and his business
And exc doth flourish like a green ba,
horse.
"A thirty-fiv We. son.,. =, 1t. nat,v
State
And president pro tenn thereof: chair
man
OF the Judiciary, with membership upol
Committees such as Railroads, Agricul
ture,
Municipal corporations, License. Educa
And Of the little select committee 0
seven
Which meets In quiet every Tuesda
night
To try the rights Of property; twenty-five
cent chips
With every pot Jack. rudels round fo
fours.
And consolation purse OF dollar ante
To finish all.
-HE sixth age shifts
Not into lean and slippered pants
loon
But into Congress in long-tailed coat
Our hero finds himself the chairma
now
OF Ventilation and Acoustics. and h
clerk,
At IS per day is son of manager
Who swings his district: his daughte
Perchance his wife, his private secretar.
With stationery and mileage well col
served
He lives within his means term aft
term;
Fills in Chautauquas at 500 per-
The morals of the District of Column
regulates.
And moves from stuffy fiat to room
house:
And so he plays his part
n asst scene of all
That ends this strange eventful hi
tory,
Behold the Senator with eye severe,
In fair round belly with good canvasba'
And Cuvee Brut well lined-Now gettii
his;
Living upon a fashionable street
sSssssssssscSccssccScS
& Some Observations.
Having the right of way Is no