Bridgeton pioneer., 1917-03-08


Aunt Abigail spitefully.
Considering that had just filed Un-
Gle Roberts plate for a second time
this was unklnd
i have not, madam, for the reason
that l am not yet satisfied that his
views are correct. I'm nothing if not
scientific. l must see thing proved
before I adopt it."
Would you prove woman's suffrage
before adopting it?''
This was quite bright of Aunt Abb
gail
Il admit" replied Uncle Robert.
that to prove it before adopting it
would be impossible 1t isn't neces-
sary to prove it. Any fool can see
that tie idea is ridiculous"
Uncle l interrupted for the pur-
pose Of calling a truce and preventing
Aunt Abigail from firing a return shot,
"let me fill your glass"
NO SIR" putting his band over it
mot at all, sir. / drink Just one glass
of wine with my dinner. And that's
enough for any man."
"Quite enough" 1 replied and filled
my own for the third time.
"One is too much for any man. espe-
cially an old man." snapped the aunt.
Nothing is so disgusting to me as all
old topper"
The shot, while it applied partly to
me, was fired at Uncle Robert.
"NOt Of oil ho ron1iod HOpo cryooc
Is good for the system. You know
what st. Paul says, Take little wine
for the stomach's sake"
YES" retorted Aunt Abigail, "and
1 know that the devil can quote Scrip
ture.''
This was so well turned that 1 felt
like patting the old lady on the back.
But it did not squelch Uncle Robert
for the simple reason that he was un-
squelchable. The skirmishing went
on, getting hotter and hotter, till at
last, to prevent an open rupture, my
wife arose from the table. She, poor
woman, was dreading a fracas. and
was not anxious to have break occur
so early in the game.
AS soon as Fanny and l were alone
together we sat down and laughed.
"Did you ever see anything work
more beautifully" said, slapping my
leg.
Never"
Let them go their own gait. NY
opinion is that one or the other will
get out within a week.
Every day my uncle came to me and
said that he couldn't live in the same
house with a cat and was going to-
morrow. Every day Aunt Abigail went
to Fanny and said she could not possi-
bly, endure that opinionated old heath
en- and she was casting about for an
other home, but it was dreadful that
she should be alone in the world, with
no one to love but Fanny, and Fanny
must needs be encountered by all her
husbands relatives. I told my uncle
that If l were deprived Of the comfort
OF caring for my fathers brother In
his old age it would break my heart.
Fanny made faint hearted attempts to
quiet her aunt and agreed with her
that my uncle was a trif1e hard to get
ON with, regretting at the same time
that he had the same claim on me that
her aunt had ON her. 1t Is true that
occasionally there would be a lull in
the hostilities and we would find the
two chatting quite amicably. But this
was when they happened to strike
some subject which was pet with
both. AS soon as they drifted into
topics on which they disagreed the
roar of battle recommended.
Several weeks passed in this way,
ana Fanny and l We're getting impa-
tient for the denouement, when one
uay uncle came to me and said that he
would like to have few words with
me and Fanny alone. He looked very
serious, and felt quite sure he would
announce his departure. He was a
born gentleman, and nothing would be
further from his nature than to hurt
ones feelings, and to appear migrate
ful would break his heart. I called
Fanny into the library, shut the door
and waited for the old man to speak.
MY dear boy" he began, taking my
hand, land my dear little girl" taking
Fannys hand, Il have something to
announce which will surprise you. II
am going to leave your
"Oh, uncler' we both exclaimed, try
ing hard to appear much disappointed,
even shocked
Yes, l am going away, and your
aunt is also going"
This was indeed a surprise.
Your Kindness has brought about
great change in two lonely lives. For
q time 1t seemed to both of us that we
must thwart your plans for the happi-
ness of both of us. 1t did not seem
that we could live under the same roof !
together"
lie paused, and thought he was 60
ing to shed tears. Then he added alb
rupty:
I'VE are both going to leave Won TO- !