davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
COLONEL WANTED THAT BIRD
Prospect of Turkey Dinner Made Him
Overlook Any Little Dereliction
of the Drummer.

During the Civil war one of the
drummers, while the regiment was on
the move, had a penchant for fOraging
on his own account, and the chickens
had to rOOst high to escape his far
reaching hands. Whenever night over
took them this drummer had a good
supper provided for himself. On one
occasion he had raked in a couple of
turkeys, and had put them into his
drum for convenience in carrying.
When the regiment was halted for the
night the colonel Immediately ordered
dress parade, and the drummers were
expected to beat up. The fOrager
made his drumSticks go, but the quick
eyed colonel noticed that he was not
drumming. "Adjutant," said the colo
mel, that man isn't drumming. Why
amt he drumming?" The adjutant
stepped up to him, saying: "Why amt
you drumming?" Because" said the
luick-witted drummer, 81 have got two
turkeys in my drum, and one of 'em is
for the colonel" The adjutant went
back, and the colonel asked, "What is
lt?" "Why, he says he has got two
turkeys in his drum, and one of 'em is
for the colonel" Up to this point the
conversation had been carried on in a
low voice, but when the adjutant re-
ported the colonel raised his voice so
that all could hear: "What sick is he?
Why didn't he say so before? Send
him to his tent at once"
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
Croesus.

CrOesus was an ancient king of
Lydia, a country in Asia, who lived
about 500 B. c. No estimate ever was
made of his wealth, but as he had
great opportunities to accumulate, it
probably was large. He seems to have
been a purse-prOud man and a brag-
gart, for history relates that when
Scion, the great Athenian lawgiver,
visited him, CrOesus made an osten-
tatious display of his treasures and
pressed SolOn to acknowledge him as
the happiest of mOrtals. But the story
goes that the wise old Athenian an
swered: Count no man happy before
his DEATH" a saying which has passed
into modern proverb. Many years
afterward, when Croesus was defeated
in one of his long wars and was taken
prisoner and was about to be burned
alive, he recalled SOlOn's prophetic re-
mark and saved his own life by telling
the story of Solon's visit. His captors
we're so impressed by the story and the
spectacle of his broken fortunes that
they released CrOesus, but he never
had q chance to boast of his wealth
again.
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
SEES FINISH OF SPARROW
That They Are Good to Eat Be
Widely Distributed.

The pOlemic concerning the sparrow
goes merrily OD with letters in the
press in favor and in reprObatiOn Of
the saucy little bird. The Art World
is taking part in the discussion. We
read:
Granted that the sparrow and star
ling are undesirable immigrants, what
are we to do with them? AS Sydney
Smith with serious face to the ecOnO-
mist anXiOusly asking "What shall we
do with our raw materials?" answered
boldly: Cook 'em," so we say to those
who grumble at sparrow and startling:
'Trap 'em, fat 'em, eat 'em!'
This is far better tactics than the
war of determination suggested by one
man, since instead of appealing to a
few refOrmers whose labor would have
to be paid for and their energies con-
fined to few places, it enlists young
and old in the primeval game of hunt
ing for food. In the Bronx it is al
most impossible, despite the law, to
save any birds from the ravages of the
immigrant Italian. Let the news once
get start that sparrow pie is as good
as robin pie and the result is certain.
The balance will be re-established, the
sparrow put in his place, viz. the pie,
and the native song birds will be re-
Ileved of worse enemy than cats.
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
What MIGHT Have stopped Her.

Robert had spent much of his sum-
mer in his fathers new car, and was
quite well versed in automobile terms.
About seven o'clock one night friend
telephOned she was coming over to
spend the evening. She lived only six
blocks away, and, as always, would
walk. But by $3.50 she had not ar
rived, although we knew she had
started, for her mother had telephoned
to speak to her, thinking she was at
our house.
Il thought that girl was coming over
here tonight" remarked Robert, play
ing on the floor at my feet.
"Tm afraid she isn't coming" said ;
"she must have stopped somewhere on
the way"
Il guess she had a puncture," said
Robert, casually.-Chicago Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
This EnterprIslna Aae.

What are we coming to? If people
In Los Angeles can hear a New York
concert over the phone, as was done in
connection with the Mendelssohn Glee
club golden anniversary, why not de-
velop the idea practically? Then Mrs.
Hi Fyfe in Seattle will ring up the
Metropolitan opera telephone box Of
fee and say to the operator:
"Switch me on for the second act Of
'Boheme;' want to entertain some
guests after dinner"
In that way the papers throughout
the country could have their critics
''cover" the New York, Boston or Chi
cago musical events. And If the critic
disliked the performance-simplicity |
Just ring off.
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
All saiIinas To Be Secret.

hington.-Lacking legal author.
ity to establish general. censorship, the
Administration appealed to the patriot
ism of the country's newspapers and
cable companies to suppress publica.
ton. and transmission of information
about the movements of American mer
chant craft, now to be armed against
German submarines.
Might Jeopardize Life.
'-The best news that readers can
have" Secretary Daniels said in a
formal statement to press repre-
sentatives, 'is that the Government
will protect the rights of America tc
the freedom Of the seas.
"The publication of details can
serve no good purpose and might
jeopardize human life"
Smyrna times., 1917-03-14
Might Jeopardlze Life.
MINISTER EckHART GOT NOTE.
Zimmerman Plot MIssiVe Reached
Him, Declares Authority.

Washington.-It was stated on high
diplomatic authority that the thinner
man note to German Minister Eckhart
in Mexico City reached it's destination
The informant asserted that two
methods were chosen by the German
Foreign Office for the transmission Of
the note. One of these methods war
said to be the wireless telegraph, thu
other the sea. 1t was believed that
one copy of the note was sent direct
to Mexico on board a German sub
marine, the other message reaching
Mexico by wireless.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07

life. He receives free board,
lodging, clothing, medical at
tendance, medicines, baths, lights,
and the advantages of schools,
libraries, and gymnasiums with
modern appliances, including
bowling alleys. Full pay and al:
lowances 90 on. ordinarily, with
out interruption during the full
period Of active service. No
doc tors bills. A pension for life
if permanently injured or inca
pacitated in line Of duty. Free
transportation to place of enlist
'ment when hOnorably discharged,
or when furloughed to the Re
serve. A favorable opportunity
is afforded for active, intelligent
young men Of temperate habits,
who may enlist as privates and
develop the necessary qualifica-
tons. to secure promotion to be
commissioned officers.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
Children Cry
FOR FlETcnER'S
G a . . RIA

On Wednesday, Mr.. Robert
J. McCabery, a recruiting Ser
geant Of the United States Army
opened up a recruiting station at
the Post Office building and al
ready he has enrolled several men
who are anxious to serve the
Government since war has been
declared. The gentleman will re-
main here until the 18th and
anticipates a big enrolment from
our City and Parish. Those who
wish to enter for service can see
him at the office Of Postmaster
Broussard Special Inducements
are offered to pharmacists, must
clans. bandsmen. electricians,
clerks. bakers, cooks, BARRIERS,
teamsters. horseshoers. carpen-
tiers. blacksmiths and other me-
chanics. A chance to see the
world. A soldier has the oppor-
trinity free Of cost to see Hawaii,
the Philippine Islands, Alaska,
and other places. Steady en-
plovment for three years and mp
ward. Retirement after thirty |
years with liberal retired pay for
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
METHODIST CHURCH NOTES.

Easter Sunday, April Sth, is
Orphanage day. A special of
fering will be taken then, both in
Sunday School and Church serv-
ices, for the benefit of our Orph-
anage at Ruston.
Special thanks are due the
Ladies Of the Missionary Society.
OF the Church who by donations,
and all the members and friends
and in person, helped to make the
effort to raise the Church debt by
serving meals to the visiting
WOOdmen a success. A hand
some sum was realized, and the
task Of the Trustees in raising the
debt has been materially light
ened.
The Women's Missionary Coun-
ell will meet in New Orleans next
week on Thursday. April 18th,
and will continue through FRI
day, April goth. This is the best
way to get in touch with
women's work in the Church, and
no one who can possibly attend,
can afford to miss it.
The Louisiana State Sunday
School Convention meets in Mon
roe, La, April 18th to 10Th. In
ternational Association workers,
and some others will be in charge,
and it will be an occasion of in
spiratiOn and instruction for Sun
day School workers. Il It will b,
worth all it's cost to attend.
Rev. H. w. May. the Presiding
Elder. preached an inspiring and
helpful sermon on SUNDAY night.
March 25th on the career Of Jacob.
He held the Quarterly Conference
Monday night.
We should all get under the
of the Trustees now TO !
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07

clear the Church Of debt.
One of our young men, Mr.
Robert Bernard, is preaching once
each month at the Church at
Lydia.
The League Council is to meet
Friday night at the parsonage at
7 80.
Miss Nellie Richardson will adj
dress the Workers Council next
Wednesday. April 18th at 1870.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
Insomnia.

INDIGESTION nearly always dis
turbs the sleep more or less. and
IS often the cause of insomnia
Eat light supper with little if
anv meat, and no milk: also take
one Of chamberlain s Tablets i'm
medlatelv after supper. and see if
You do not rest much better. OBJ
tainable everywhere.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
PERSONALS.

Hon. Joseph A. Provost OF
Jeanerette was business visitor
here on Thursday.
Mr.. Lloyd Porter was a visitor
to Patterson last Sunday.
Miss Marietta Murray Of Der.
wick is visiting her parents, Mr.
and Mrs. A. B. Murray.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clet Girard. Miss
Sis Renoudet and Mr.. George
Renoudet attended the ball game
in Patterson last Sunday.
DR.. Ed. Quirk of Eunice is Wis
iting his family here this week
Miss Ada Renoudet is the guest
of friends in Loreauville.
Mrs. Malariet, Mrs. Todd and
Miss Madeline Malariet of Shady
side visited at the home Of Mrs.
Gabe Leblanc Wednesday.
DR.. Paul LeBourgeois, Jr., of
New Orleans and Mr.. Arthur Lee
Bourgeois of Baton Rouge ar
rived Thursday to spend a few
DAYS here with their parents, Mr..
and Mrs. LeBourgeois.
Misses Margaret and Mildred
Weeks arrived Wednesday from
New Orleans to visit their parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Ed. Weeks.
DR.. Jules E. Dupuv of New Or
Jeans is spending a few days here
y 1e guest Of his parents.
III Miss Exine Nuckolls, a sister of
Uudge S. O. Nuckolls arrived here
this week to be at the bedside
of her brother. Judge Nuckolls
has been i'll for some two weeks
and is reported much better at this
writing.
Chas. L. Poirson, ESQ.,, of Jean
Nxette made a flying trip here on
\ ednesday evening.
Mr.. Tom Gayle, Jr.. arrived |
Friday from Baton Rouge to visit |
relatives for a few days.
Miss Klos of Centervllle is the
guest Of Miss Elizabeth Forgey.
Mrs. j. P. Harrison and Miss
Fannie Hewitt left Monday for a
visit to relatives in New Orleans.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. Fl. Brown leave
today for few weeks visit at
Houston, Texas, after which they
will continue their journey to San
Antonio. While Mr.. Brown s
health is much improved it is
thought that change will bring
on an early recovery.
Among the visitors in New Ibe4
ria this week were Mrs. Geo. w. !
Perkins, President of the Wo- ]
man s Federation Clubs of Boston.
Mass. and Mrs. James T. Curtis, ,
also of Boston. These ladies came !
South to attend a National Con-
@ntion at New Orleans and n
listed New Iberia as the guests
If their relatives Mr.. and Mrs.
3. III. Buffinton.
Arthur Provost of the State +
University at Baton Rouge ar
lived here on Thursday to spend \
Easter with his parents. Mr.. and c
Irs. Chas. L. Provost.
Mrs. Ben Lewis of New Or F
cans is the guest of Mrs. Taylor t,
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07

, General Freight and Passenger
Agent Joseph Lallande of the S
p. Railroad was a visitor at thu
Demonstration Farm on Tuesday
While in New Iberia Mr.. Lallandt
paid US visit.
Those of our physicians wht
attended the meeting of the AT
| takapas Clinical Society at Lake
Charles last Tuesday were DR.
w. f. Carstens and DR.. D.. S. Full
ton.
Mr.. James Hall, one Of the
recent recruits in the United
States Army has been quite busy
this week enlisting our young men
to join regiment that was
formed recently at Crowley.
Mr.. Hal Dulany of New Or
leans and Don of Lake Charles
arrived here on Thursday to visit
their relatives, Mr.. and Mrs. L.
Tasker Dulany.
Uncle Joe Cannon Camos was
in New iberia yesterday circulat-
ing among his friends. Mr.. Ca
mos informed we scribe that so
far, Loreauville has furnished
twelve young men who enlisted IL
the Navy, This is an excellent
showing for our neighbour
ing town and the chances are that
many others in that vicinity will
also enlist in the near future.
Mrs. G. w. Bufford left last
Saturday for Port Neches, Texas.
She will ioin her husband there
to take up her permanent resi-
dence.
Mrs. J. A. Sournier of Garden
City is visiting in this City. the
guest of Mrs. G. lBorel.
Mrs. Dracos Dimitry and
daughter. Mrs. Donald Burke
were visitors to Jeanerette We'd
nesday.
The Episcopal Ladies Auxiliary
will meet Wednesday afternoon
at four o'clock at the residence Of
Mrs. Julius Koch. All members
are requested to attend.
Miss Elizabeth Forgey arrived
home Thursday from Centerville
10 spend the holidays with rela-
lives.
Mr.. Frank Blanc of New Or
cans was a business visitor here /
Tuesday.
Miss Pearl Simon of Lafayette
S here visiting her parents, Mr..
md Mrs. Herman Simon.
Mr.. Felix Mestayer of Alexan-
lria is here visiting his mother,
Irs. Felix Messenger.
Mrs. Louis Stumpf of New Or
cans is visiting her mother. Mrs
Beverly Cambell.
Miss Freda Veazey arrived
thursday from Lafayette to visit
er aunt. Mrs. Alpha Fontelieu. !
Miss Katie Murray returned
tuesday, from a visit to indie
La.
The Busy Bee Sewing Circle I
let last Saturday afternoon at Il
he home Of Miss Julia Mcmahon r
Miss Margaret Muller and Miss $
IVAN Reynaud were visitors to
arencro last Sunday. 6
Mr.. Ed. Weeks and children G
Isle and Edward were visitors n
New Orleans this week for sew h
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
LOCALS.

The regular services Of the
Presbyterian church will be held
on Sunday morning at II o'clock.
The public is cordially invited to
De present.
We were requested by Mrs.
NJ. Pomel oy, secretary Of the
Protestant Cemetery Association
to announce that a meeting of the
Society would take place next
Monday afternoon at Hotel Fred
eric at four o'clock. A Fill at
tendance is urged.
Sash, Blind and Door Factory,
special work Of ali description.
Cisterns and Tanks.-Bertrand
Lumber CO.
Calvary Commandery No. Is,
Knights Templar will attend serv-
ice Easter Sunday at the Church
of the Epiphany, Sir Knights will
appear in full uniform and will
be joined by Sir Knights from
other Communicates, at Opelou-
sas, Franklin and other points.
Knights will parade from the Ma
comic Temple to the Church and
return. Special service has been
arranged for them at II o'clock
A. NJ.
On Thursday of last week
the wedding of Miss Martha Ca
mos, the amiable daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. Jos. Camos of Loreau-
vile and Mr.. J. f. Broussard.
sterling young gentleman Of the
same vicinity was contaminated.
The ceremony took place at the
home Of the bride in the presence
OF the haDDy young couples
friends and relatives.
-Messrs. Viator Bros. two ex-
perienced caterers in the restau-
rant business have leased over the
property Of Mrs. John Fisher
which adjoins the Hotel Frederic
and fitted If up in a sanitary man
ner to conduct an up-to-date res
taurant. The building has been
overhauled and reprinted and |
n"onerlv screened and these GEN
tlemen hone to build up a prof
table business.
Let me do your Kodak finishing.
Bert A. Kraemer, Taylor's |
Drug Store.
The Elk Lodge of this City |
held a special meeting on Mon
dav night for the purpose of wiz
ing in resolutions to the Presi
dent Of the United States tender
ing the support of it's members
If war were declared between this !
country and Germany. Addresses
were delivered by the Exalted |
Ruler Chas. M. Bahon and Mr..
Jules Dreyfus. The same day
patriotic services We're held in
most all Of the public schools of
he Parish and the children sang
America and "The Star Spang-
ed Banner" In MANY places in
New iberia the American flag has
)een hung bv some of our patri-
Orders taken for Engraved
Visiting Cards. $1.45 per hun
lred up.
PFISTER BROS.
-Messrs. Tom Jones and Perry
'urke having been given full au- ,,
hOrizAtion from the Federal au-
horities at Washington to or
anlze Company of soldiers are ..
xertlng their best efforts to form
regiment here. From what we I
earn number of young men e
ave already enlisted and it is
lore than probable they will .
ave no diffic ulty in securing the d
,quired number. There seems to L
an unusual amount Of patriot =
m among the young men Of this I
,untry and now that the bill has ',
assed the Senate making all who I. u
ave reached the age of twenty =,
ears subject to CONSUMPTION. it l
far better for our, young men
enlist in companies that will .,
differed by men of their ac- u
laintance than with rank
rangers.
On Tuesday night last the
'uthern Pacific depot at Del
mbre was burglarized by
rpn v,ho
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1917-04-07
To Cure d Cold in One Day

Take LAXATIVE BRoMO Ouinine. 1t stops the
Cough and Headache and works off the Cold
Druggists refund money if it fails to cure
E. w. GROVES signature on each box. Csc.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1917-10-18
where THE MULE FAILS.

He Doesn't Relish a Battle When the
Artillery Gets Active.
More nearly impervious to heat than
any of the other domestic animals, in
Guiding his own ancestry, the mule has
played prominent part in the de
velopment Of our southern states. On
the sugar plantations and in the cot
ton fields he is without peer.
His traditional endurance renders
him almost invaluable to the quarter.
masters department Of armies in the
field, but the experienced artillery off.
Ger uses horses instead for handling
artillery in action.
A mule doesn't enjoy a battle. He
doesn't relish it's excitement and Its
terror, that metamorphosis that changes
men alternately into poltroons and
demigods.
Under sustained artillery fire a
horse becomes unusually docile. He
turns instinctively to his master as to a
creature Of higher power, and his very
terror renders him gentle.
But the mule displays no such faith
in humankind. In the turmoil of bat
tie he suddenly becomes arbiter of his
own acts, and he either bolts or balks
A mule disapprOves all that he does not
understand, and it is traditional that
he is not amenable to reason.-Los An.
geles Times.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1917-10-18

them and owe some to others. It
takes good deal of stringent as we'll
as amusing, book keeping to clear up
the atmosphere on pay day. We
were paid in francs and have so many
of them that we feel like bloated bond
holders. 1t would not surprise me a
bit. if had an attack of govt to-
morrow.
Sunday
have had considerable variety in
church services today. In the morn
|. ing l went to high mass in the French
Catholic church. Of course the SER
vice is about the same as at home,
and find it just as easy for me to
sleep through French sermon as an
English one. Tonight newspaper
man and Y. M. C. A. secretary, (alI in
one) talked to us in the "Y" tent. He
was a Kansas City Yankee, a man
about 4O years old and a dandy talker.
he gave us strong man-to-man talk
which can be summed up in, "Give all
you can all the time and trust in our
rather" 1t is the first time since I
left Detroit that 1 have heard good
English talk and I enjoyed it a lot.
The best evidence l can give YOU
as to how we are fed and taken care
OF is the fact that l am getting dis
gustlngly fat. I don't know how
much weigh and if I were WEIGHED
mere, l would not know how many
kilograms it would make in Americ an
Weights. I do know however. that
me coat l WIRE comfortab'y in De-
troit will just barely button now and
1t is hard work to- button it without a
button hook. ...-... IS,
Sergeants Hughes, Amell and Eddy
now have a very comfortable billet.
We have an apartment at a family
hotel called "Hotel de Stable" The
building just has two flats. The
former occupants of the lower fiat are
at their summer home now so we have
the entire place. Our beds are Just
straw without blankets, but the room
is very comfortable. The furniture is
rather crude, most of it we have i'm
provlsed ourselves, but as whole we
have all the conveniences We had at
Detroit and whole lot NOR. than l
had in Alberta last winter.
"eBlow is some French philosophy
that strikes me as being exceptionally
good and true:
"All's. Well That Ends Well"
Of two things, one is certain;
either you're drafted or you're not
drafted.
If you're not drafted there is no
need to worry; il your are drafted Of
two things one is certain: either
you're behind the lines or you're on
tire front.
If you're bel ind the lines, there is
no need to worry; if you're on the
fort, of two things one is certain:
Fither you're resting in safe place
O.: you're exposed to DANCE.
II you're resting in a safe place
thLre is no need to worry: if you are
to danger of two things one
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1917-10-18
Caughren Theatre Notes
Tonight, Thursday.


d "The Promise" A few will need
to be reminded of this, but only very
few. The ticket sale is going well
and the house will be packed at each
showing.
Friday.
Bessie Love plays this week as
heroine in "The Heiress of Coffee
DAMS" The Friday night pictures
are always exceptionally good and it
is not impossible that this will rank
with the best of them.
Saturday.
"The Candy Girl" featuring Gladys
Hulette. Mr.. DuBeau secures pictures
for Saturday that are right for both
the children and the grown ups.
That is why we are getting Baby
Osborne and plays like "Thc Candy
Girl" Those who saw the picture
last Saturday will never hesitate to