davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
To-nn,'S Hest lIRnd-Pirked Joke.

81 didn't want To come here in the first place
Condcd The first guest at the expensive hotel
at a wel-known resort on the New jersey coast.
no moro did L.: replied the second but my
wife insisted OH my coming
so did mine said tho first. she said We
had 10 come jus; because the Munscys were
coming. although ! told her simply could
not afford ,hr expense.
And that's what said" explained the second.
but my wife said We had to come because the
browns coming"
why. look here my name is Brown
"!>nd mine IS Munsey"
Then tho two men shook another warmly
by tho hand --I'ittsburgh Dispatch.
FOrchnnded.
There i'll town.
And he wondrous wise:
When dry times ncared this lad was
ocrtaken by surprise.
EGt nut In stocks Of waited JOY
Which almost reached the skies.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

~ and enjoy all tina, earth hold, ,i,,,
u conducive 10 his happiness. Tho
argument Is conducted on a pur,Iv
PhESi'hi planc. deals with material
ana ethical problems apart from All
mtt" phSs ioai and supernatural or mys-
''r'"uS phenomena. although such con-
"t'"h5 are not aniagoniZcd since
'nc work is wholly positive i'm ia
'o"hted plane OF speculation. /, /.
concerned only with familiar fact,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

Z y. :. Winchester, Na.-The German Socia'-
iSt Leader. Dr. Karl lichkmcch,, is in
prison. ON June Is. 1915. he sentenced l."
thirty months penal S"rvitlid" Riots broke
in consequences " tn" severity Of tho sentence.
and there general condemnation Of it.
An appeal was brought hu; when tho case was
taken 10 the superior war tribunal. Licbknccht's
sentence was Increased to four years and ono
month and "a later appeal for Il new trial was
tod
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

DO YOU hnd agriculture profitable opera
tiouc' asked the interested friend.
"ENcccduciy So" replied the gentleman
farmer. at has less. any rate than
the kindred occupations OF sowing wild
and TRANSFORMERS cash into ducks and brakes"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
Hound to lie.

Grubbs-What makes YOU certain links l.
going be a success in politics?
Stubhs-Bocause he has been failure a
everything else.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
The I'rsSiuiSt Says:

Whenever Friend Wife tells YOU she has Just
saved a lot Of money. tho proper response Is to
inquire what bargain sale she has been attend
ing
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
The Voice Of the PEOPLE

A. 81" evidence Of good faith, letters must civ.
the mud nddress OF the writer. Nam..
viii not he published " writer so r,oue,,.
Nuke niI romnun lions short.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

One OF the railroads has forbidden persons
ri ing on passes to bring liquor into Virginia
Most men would checrfully exchange the
iquor-toting right for the pass privilege
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
SIlI,'fI.

L. J. j. Bedford city Na.-Silica. an oxygen
compound Of silicon is pure sand. Silicon
The most abundant element in tn" solid crust
OF tho earth with the exception Of gen. I;uc;
and clay rich in it. II has only as much
commercial value pure sand has. Il is used
in king glass ard pottery.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

II. g. T., Chcsteriirld Na.--i'rcsidemt Wilson
did not recognize General \ictoriana iIucrta as
President Of tn" republic Of Mexico II" died
at FL Faso. Ten. while held under charges 81
conSpiring To violate tho neutrality laws OF the
United States
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

\. II. NJ. Wheeliur. w Na.-,iayi"rd
SaitzE abcr. OF ohio. is commissioner at T.
sions. He is connected with the Interior
partmcnt. Washington.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
ElyII Mnr Debt,


l.. l.. l.. EAGLE Rock. Na.--An OF the civ
War debt has either been paid or refunded.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
Public Men
rs
Targets

than suspicion ;,ttacbod IN
those holding responsible positions in thc ,,ov
eminent No one took the trouble to cmphnsizo
tho many other WAYS in which inside iufor,nn
ton might have been gained 1t is a notorious
TACT mat knowledge OF u far less important
character has been stolen and plirloiiicd IN.
persons who had neither the right nor access,
I" II except through the cmploymc of criminal
methods Hut tn" first thought "f cvcrybodv
seems I" have been that some one high in il,.
government service had peachch. Tbs, possihiIiiy
OF outsiders tapping tho secret by crooked
mcthods was ignored. Chronic diStrust of orr
political system manifested itself in quick sus-
pcion if any wrong had hccn done, IL was
aSSurcdly attributable To Official, not private
conn'vancH The manner in which these ISLANDERS
were developed and received is rcgrcttablc, not
so much because OF any personal guilt IL NAV
imply. hut because OF tho state OF mind il dis
closcs Nothing is too gross. too startling, too
WtcacnHrons to hs believed concerning official
me " any questionable transa ction arises in
NoiNlnE public and private agencies we aro
swift to attach culpabii,y to The former The
man who accepts official position 10 .Iav
MAKES himself tho logical target for this mental
M,tntnue o. hostility and dstrust. From II there
~ no escape.-IIouston Chronicle.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
FOrrhnnded.
Health Talks, by Dr.. VIM. Brady
oCopyr,Eht, 1916 National Newspaper serv.ceh
Ghccr LIP Mcfnrc You E:nt.

\ coupl" OF iiibornian observers. by
that dear old masterpiece Die Nerdauungssafte
und der Stoifwcchscl elbow your II it
sticks noted long ago 1852 that the mere
sight o .!ncll of favorite dish was sufficient
10 occasion the outpouring Of perfectly good
gastric juice from fistulous opening between
foul of determined farmer who kept
tried 10 keep sheep and a musket. But
doesn't need to kill sheep In order to know
that a choice morscl artisticaiiy served makes
the mouth water The anticipation desire
for food makes tho stomach water
stimulates the secretion Of gastric juice. This
stimulation produced by certain chemical
messengers" called hormones. which probably
travel in the blood from the mouth to the
glands Of tho stomach and other digestive
Guus.
The Russian Psychologist, Pawlow. confirmed
these observations by many experiments. He
demonstrated that even sham fcedinE-permit-
ting am animal 10 chew and swallow food which
Immediately left the body through artificial
hstula and never entered the stomach-would
M active secretion Of gastric juice.
Professor Cannon. OF Harvard. found that
not only the secretion Of gastric juice. but also
the p"r.staltic churninc movements 80 i'm
p"Ft"ht ~ d'ScSN"n. We're suddenly stopped by
disagrceable omotions-fright anger. worry.
And this halt in digestion usually lasted for
half AN hour or more after the source OF tho
emotion reno cd. In animals.
may imaeIn" tina, man. with his more impress
siouabic nervous apparatus. would continue on
longer period after emotional excitement.
Attra"ttvolT served food is exceedingly
III III" HON" Of health. 1t makes all tho diff
fcrcuc" In tn" world how YOU tackle your din
nor. II sou arc sad, gloomy. anxious. worried
angry OF troubled in conscience, YOU will digest
but poorly what YOU manage to
ON ihc other hand. If the ice be broken
il saves up his best story for tho
thumb with the butter or places Mary's
sauce on fathers chair or something to develop
Il jovia'. cheerful atmosphere, then good dges-
lion viii TAX" pleasure in waiting upon appe-
Ute ana appetite viii keep the waiter busy.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

Shoplifters at Christmas time were warned !;
a shoplittcr in January was arrested and put
under bond. The difference is in the season
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

Tho President seems TO be treating the
silent pickctinc with the silent contempt it
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13


Diabetes Qu"Stion.--(D Is diabetes cura bic
60 May = person who has the ailmcnt survive
major operation" go II who is subject
10 the discas" loses flesh. and after the sugar
has been cleared M, regains flesh and conforms
TO r".tricted di"ts may il be said that he is
"ns"or.--CD Yes. in the same sense that
pulmonary tuberculosis is "cura blc"--that is by
good treatment and by permanent adherence to
the doctors rules aftcrward, the patient may
he restored to reasonable degree Of health
and live indefinitely. CD Yes. CD When the
urine has been freed OF sugar and acctone and
diac"tir acid. by tho fasting treatment. the pa
tcnt should "nd"avor not to regain flesh q
experience shows that he will he better off II
somewhat below normal weight. The present
vI"w of diabetes IL that there IS in the victim
inherent ncapacity to metabolizc or utilize
Carbohydrat" foods. and only by recognizing his
psychological dcf"c, in that respect may he
maintain 4 state Of rcasoua ble health. He must
learn just where the limit of his tolerance for
mat class "f food Hos and adhere strictly to
tnat limit in hts eating. always.
Germs In I.ibraries.-Kindly inform mo
whether there is any risk OF acquiring any
dIr"as" by taking home books from public
library. A. w O.
Answer -Eacteriological tests have clearly
shown that there is no reason 10 believe library
book. ever convey disease
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

In q little hook by Cosmos: \ Dis
tincuishcd Publicisi." entitled THE
Basis Of Durable Peace" about TO he
published by the Scrihncrs. tho au-
thor says: "Dut side Of and beyond the
public educational system Of the ma =
ton there should be established with
out delay system OF universal train
ing for national service and, should
il ever he needed. for national defense.
such a policy is the antithcsis of mill
tarism: il is democracy conscious and
mindful OF its duties and responsible
ties as well as Of it's rights"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

Many citizen would have beat the chief
OF FoIlc' 10 ihat vacant house. if ne had
known about those fifteen gallons
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
Current Editorial Comment

y disagreed tendency OF tho
times is noticeable in what has
taken place with reference tn
ihesc alleged leaks. No sooncr
did rumors begin to ny abmnt
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

PUBLISHED every day In the year 10 South Tenth
street. kiChmond. Va. 10y The Times Dispatch Pub.
iishinS Co.. Inc. Charles T.. IIashrook Editor and
Manager.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

Address ALL COMM NlCNTIONS To Tho Times
Dispatch and to n,li, iduii>.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

aEIEPHO>I: Randolph 1. Private Branch Exchange
connecting with all departments.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13
Beats Tc!cpatliy
NY/HEN Shakespeare wrote

w st. George tina, swnrod tn, dragon.
and "or since
SITS on his horseback az mine hostess
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-01-13

SPECIAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES: Has
brook, story lSruuk> Inc. iiith Avenue 'uihiinS
Now York; Mutual Life Nui;uinE rhi.aieiphin:
Peoples Gas building. Chicago
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
Too Much Grammar.

A man made bet with q friend
that he could go into the Billings
gate fish market in London and put
one of the well-known loud-mouthed
fisflwomcn in rage without saying
word that she could understand.
The man commenced by silently in
dicating with his nose that her fish
had passed the fresh stage. The
Blllingsgate lady at once made YER
bal attack.
The man answered: you're an ar
ticle, ma'am."
mo more an article than yourself,
you villain"
You are Il noun, woman"
"YOu-you---" stammered the wom-
an, choking with rage at list Of titles
she could not understand.
"lou are pronoun."
The beldam shook her fist in speech
less rage
you are verb-an adverb-an adj
jective-a conjunction-a proposition
I'm intersection :" suddenly continued
the man.
The nine parts Of speech complete
~ conquered the old woman. and she
dumped herself down in the mud cry
ing with Vegetables Home Journal
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
A saxon-French Cigar Lighter.

Several years ago the then new min
lister Of France NJ. Klotz, decided 10
impose a tax of two francs, or 40
cents American money, on each cigar
lighter used in that country. The rea-
son for this is that the sale of matches
in France is in the hands of the gov
eminent monopoly and the portable
lighters interfered with the sale of the
matches. On the other hand the
matches have become so bad in quality
that they are subject of complaint and
ridicule. The law has become unpopu-
lar and there is an effort now being
made TO have the order rescinded. Not
withstanding the fact that an in
creased tax was placed on tobacco by
the French government several years
ago. il has caused a tendency to in
crease smoking and that is proven by
the many smokers to be seen in public
places and thoroughfares.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
THOUSANDS DIE
FROM STARVATION
HELPLESS PEOPLE IN NOUN.
TAlNS IN SYRIA DENIED SUC-
COR.-ARE PERISHlNG.
Refusal of Germany to Allow Saf1
Passage of Relief Ships Was The
Death Sentence of Thousands
of Syrians.

New York.-A thousand deaths a
day from starvation out of Il popu-
lation Of 3JO,OOO'in the Lebanon noun
tains near Beirut, Syria, is the toll of
famine conditions there resulting from
the war ii was declared here Sunday
by the Rev. William II. Hall of the
Syrian Protestant college, who recent
ly returned to this country from relief
work in that district.
Continuing Mr.. Hall described the
tragic disappointment of the people
there, whose spirits were kept up for
weeks by the promised arrived last
Christmas time Of the American relief
ship Caesar, which would have meant
life to thousands, but which never
arrived owing to the refusal Of Ger
many and Austria-Hungary to grant
her safe passage TO Beirut.
The Caesar. naval collier loaned
to the Red Cross by the navy depart
ment, left New York months before
the entry of this country into the war,
as "Christmas ship for the needy in
Syria, carrying more than quarter
of a million dollars worth of food and
clothing contributed in this country.
Day after day the poor. starving
people along the coast and through the
mountains looked and prayed for the
coming of the American ship Mr..
Hall said. The country was canvass
ed by well organized committees. the
needy were listed, the work of diStribu-
ton was thoroughly prepared, offices
were opened and men chosen to direct
the distribution. The people waited.
Their hopes were raised high.
week followed week and month fol-
lowed month-in suspense the people
daily looked out TO sea for her. but the
ship which meant life and hope to
thousands never appeared. She was
held by military necessity while the
people starved"
The city of Beirut is as sorely af-
flicted as the mountain districts. Mr..
Hall went on, and day or night one
hears the cry along the streets, Il am
hungry-give me bread" This is not
from beggars, but from laborers and
tradesmen, people who have known
the comforts of life.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
VICTIMS OF ANTILLES INSURED
Dependents of Each of Men Will Be
Given $4,000.

ashingtOn.-Under the provisions
of the new soldiers and sailors insur-
ance law, the treasury department has
announced that although the men lost
on the Inflated Antilles, sunk by a
German submarine, had not, in the
very nature of things, applied for gov
eminent insurance, it would be paid
to their families under the provisions
of the act.
As all hands in the military and ma
val service who persisted with the lost
Antilles came within the scope of the
new war insurance law. the treasury
department announced that they au-
tOmatically carried insurance TO the
amount of $4,000 each.
This sum will he paid the families
of the dead soldiers and sailors in
monthly installments of SO each over
n period OF twenty years. 1t is in aG-
dition TO cOmpenSatiOns which will be
paid to widows, children and depend
ent mothers of the men. \ widow, fer
example, will be paid SO insurance
and SO compensation, Il total of $50.
While the SO insurance is n fixed
maximum, in cases where no applica-
ton for insurance was made. the adj
ditional compensation varies from $50
for motherless dependent child to Il
maximum of SO for all dependents.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
WOMEN SUFFERERS
NEED SWAMP-R00T

Thousands upon thousands of women
have kidney and bladder trouble and
never suspect it.
Women's complaints often prove to he
nothing else but kidney trouble. or the
result of kidney or bladder disease.
If the kidneys are not in healthy con-
dltion, they may cause the other organs
TO become diseased.
You may suffer a great deal with pain
in the back, headache. loss OF ambition,
nervousness and may be respondent and
irritable.
Don't delay starting treatment. DR..
kilmer's Swamp Root, a physicians pre-
scription, obtained at any drug store re-
stores health to the kidneys and is Just
the remedy needed to overcome such con-
ditions.
Get medium or large bottle immedi-
ately from any drug store.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to DR..
kimer & Co., Binghamton, n. Y, for
sample bottle. When writing be sure
and mention this paper. ADV.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25

Something was the matter with the
stop-signal bell of the bonneville troll
ley car, and the conductor had to
whistle To the motorman, that trip
one whistle To start, two whistles 10
20 ahead
This wasn't the real bonneville
trolley. but Il certain suburban dummy
line" which is 81 denominated by the
facetiouS car riders.
At one place. the other morning, the
ear made Il long stop. and some of the
passengers began To get uneasy. One
sought the rear platform and found
the conductor eating frugal lunch
con.
Say, how long we goin' to stand
here? What are we waitin' fOr?'
asked the passenger.
The conductor swallowed hard and
was understood To reply
"Looky here. amt sot nothn' but
dry crackers fer my lunch. An you'll
halter wait till sit 'em all Swallered
good before l kin whistle ."-Cleve-
land PlainDcaler.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
Catarrhal Cough

Mr.. w. 5. Brown, II. +. ID. No. /,
Box 81, Rogersville, Tennessee,
writes:
81 feel it my duty to recommend
Peruna to all sufferers of catarrh or
cough. In the year 1909. l took Il
severe case of the la grippe. / then
took bad cough. had taken all
kinds of cough remedies but got 10
relief / then decided to try Peruna
| used five bottles. After taking five
bottles my cough stopped and my
catarrh was cured. My average
weight was 115 and now | weigh
1882. Any one suffering with ca
tarrh in any form ! will advise then
TO take Peruna."
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
BOB FlTZSlMMONs CALLED.
Former Champion PugiIist Loses Out
In Fight With Pneumonia.

Chicago. - Robert Fitzsimmons.
former champion pugilist, died early
Sunday of pneumonia, after an illness
of five days The former champion
was taken i'll early last week with
what was at first diagnosed as
ptomaine poisoning. Later ii was dis
covered he was suffering from double
pneumonia and physicians declared he
could not live.
Mrs. Fit2Simmons. wife of the form
er champion, was appearing with him
AT local vaudeville house and was
with him until death.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
Lack of Restraint.

Senator Chamberlain. defending the
food control bill, said in Washington
How unneasured the attacks on
this excellent bill have been, Now
J am like the boy at the movies.
like measure and restraint.
1.-TWO boys AT the movies saw Il
tragic picture play, and one of them
was overcome. He took out his hand
kerchief and wept and Sobbed.
"'Why. Bill, we're blubberin'." said
the other boy.
"'Well,' sobbed Bill. 4 like to see
4 person show little feelin'.
'Feelin'r said the first boy. Feel
ms all right. but We don't need t,
wash yer face in it,
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
FOR SKIN TROUBLES
That Itch. Burn, Torture and Disfiu.
ure Use Cuticura-TriaI Free.

The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal. They
usually afford immediate relief in itch.
ing, burning eczemas, pimples, dandruff
and most baby skin troubles. They
also tend to prevent little skin trou.
oles becoming great If used daily.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
SLOWER THAN MEN
Double the Number Required in New
York Banks, But They Are
More Methodical.

There T. AT present no woman Off
Ger Of New York city bank aud only
one In New Jersey. but II the war
lasts long enough II may we'll be. as
II Is In Canada now. that the banks
will virtually be run by women. Al
ready. IL L. estimated. 2O.Oou women
have been taken on In the Wall street
district since the United States en-
tered the war last April. says the New
York Evening Post.
Women are slow'r. but more care
tut, said an official OF the Mechanics
and Metals bank so. although twice
as many women as men are needed
10 do the same amount OF work. the
bank loses no money on extra salaries.
because the women save hundreds Of
dollars which had to be paid to the
clearing house for the mems mistakes.
Each mistake colis 81 aud the records
show that sometimes mems mistakes
cost SD or $50 week
The average downtown bank has
lost 20 per cent of IFS men and taken
on 40 per cent women. The Mechan-
les and Metals bank now has go
women and they are being taken on
by tens or tNcnties each week. ;"
far these 60 women are taking the
places Of only 30 men, which shows
the difference In rapidity. hut the oili-
clal Of fhr bank pointed oul that II
would be- serious problem When the
men came home for their jobs.
sour hope is he said, THAT inc
business will be- big enough then 10
accommodate them all.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
War Declared on
Rats by u. S. Govt,

The government at Washington is pre-
pairing a campaign that should be ei1ec-
tive in killing the rats that are SO destruc-
tive both to lives and property. A con-
servative estimate places the loss of food
stuffs from rats at over two hundred mill
lion dollars annually, and in the present
scarcity of food. this loss must be pre-
vented. The most efficient way TO * i'll
the Rat" is by the use of Stearns Paste,
and thousands of dollars worth have been
bought by the government. Every house
Keeper troubled with rats, mice reaches
this reliable exterminator for thrty-five
cents. and stop further loss of food in
her home. Adv.
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
Up-to-Date Wedding Gifts.

''Wen. what sort Of wedding pres
ents did you get. girlie-the usual as
sortment Of berry spoons and pickle
forks?"
Not on your esteemed life. | got
a sack Of potatoes. four dozen fresh
eggs, a peck Of onions, and Liberty
bond"
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25
Kept His Word.

&c! haven't any case" admitted The
client but | have money"
How much:"
"SiNty Thousand dollars"
'phew. You have the best ease I
ever handled.' said The lawyer. I'm
SEQ that you never 20 10 prison with
that sum"
And the client didnt-he went
,hcrc broke
Lincoln County times. (Jerome, Idaho) 1911-1919, 1917-10-25

Paris.-The health of Bolo rasha,
under arrest as Il German propaganda
list, has been restored and he was
transferred on Monday from the prison
lnirmary cell to cell in the Sante
prison in Paris.