davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28
DINNER STORIES

Whats the matter across the
way" asked the tailor of bystander,
as the ambulance backed up to the
door of his rival.
"A customer fell in a fit, and they
are taking him to the hospital was
the reply.
That's strange said the tailor.
It never knew a customer to get a fit
nthat establishment before
An English Jack Tar and his Sal
were up in front of the parson. On
being asked the usual question, wilt
thou have this woman. etc." Jack
answered, Il 'u1l." You must say I
WILL corrected the parson, and re-
peated the question.
Il 'ull," responded Jack, more firm
ly than ever.
The irate clergyman threatened to
stop the service altogether if the re-
Spouse was not properly given. That
was too much for Sally, who broke
in quite savagely, "Look-a-here,
thee'll ave our Jack sayin' e won't
in a minute if We keep on badgerin'."
The service was resumed.
priest was showing off his class,
and proceeded to ask one little boy,
in the presence of the archbishop:
What is matrimony?"
The little boys eyes bulged out at
the suddenness with which the cues
ton was put and then he said, me-
chemically. "Matrimony is a state OF
punishment to which some souls are
condemned so suffer for a while be-
fore they are considered good enough
to go to heaven
Tut, tut" said the priest. THAT is
the definition of purgatory."
Let him alone said the arch
bishop. He may be right; what dc
you and 1 know about it, anyway"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28
GLOBE SIGHTS
rFrom the Atchison Globe.1

tFrom the Atchison Globel
Considerable is also collected for
the double cross.
Conscience is too often fear of get
ting caught.
Not all the stones that don't roll
accumulate moss.
So often the conversation doesn't
lag as much as it should.
An insurance agent so often seems
convinced a man is neglecting his
family.
'I don't lie, simply tell too much
of the TRUTH" an Atchison woman said
this morning.
Patience and not love is what helps
a woman most in getting along with
her husband.
Some men have summer complaint
all winter, and don't work during any
season of the year.
There is disposition to believe
one can afford anything obtainab BILE on
the installment plan.
If man isn't handy at fixing
things around the house, his wife is
apt to tell him of a number of hus-
bands who are.
Men needn't be so conceited; if they
weren't useful as meal tickets and
such like the chances are they would
not be chased so much.
What has become of the old-fash-
Toned fighter who used to say, Il can
tie one hand behind me and whip any
man In the county on a coon skin and
give him the tail to run back on
Nothing arouses the indignation OF
| a woman more than to have her hus-
band tell her the gossip she is telling
is old to him: that he heard it weeks
ago. We'll, for heavens sake why
didn't you tell it to me weeks ago.
she usually screams
That far away dreamy look in q
girls eyes usually means she is think
ing of a Prince Charming she hopes
to win for her own and later in life
the look means how she would like tc
be spending the life insurance of the
l plug she calls her own.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

American exports in May were val
ued at 1851. 900. 900. a gain of nearly
s21. OOO,O 900 over April, according to a
statement issued by the bureau of for
eign and domestic commerce Of the
department of commerce. The .ota.
exports for the twelve months ended
with May were valued at nearly
S6.1s3. 100000, the highest dgure
ever recorded for any one year. I'M
ports for May were valued at $751;
600. 900. the greatest total for any one
month in the history of American
commerce. For the year ended with
May goods to the value of $500, O0O,-
600 were imported into the United
States-another record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28
ON SPUR OF
THE MOMENT
The Line Is Busy.
BY ROY X. MOULTON.

Inc Line is Busy
Hello, hon, how you feeling Fine
derful party? Oh, did we!-Fn say,
hon. Listen. how'd you like that fell
low Pie was all right, but 1 don't
expect to hear from him-Why, hon?
I'D know, he didn't take me right.
somehow-Listen, what do you know?
Not much-Fm going to have it
with some hem-stitching or maybe
some bobbin- stitching-That bobbin-
stitchin's lovely, that's new, hon-And
wear my blue skirt-And your black
hat, hon-would you wear the black
haiti look old-Listen, hon, you
look wonderful in your black hat
Carl says they'll be all, YOU know.
young couples an'-Hadn't heard from
him for eight months, he calls up an
He's a wonderful thing and a
wonderful spender hon, he's
coming after me in a machine, he says,
ants terrible dull right now, lot
of US might get, YOU know, laid off
1 don't see her, eyether-So do 1, 1
feel terrible lonesome for that kid
Less see, what else do 1 know?-I
don't know any more, eyether-See y
Sunday, then, G'Bye-Bye.
Happy Thought.
Don't get into rut and you won't
get into arrears.
Happy Thought.
1t takes more than a high collar to
hide a rough neck.
Nut.
The man who gets US going
And arouses our resentment
Is the man who's always showing
Discomfort with his contentment.
Stacker Joke.
Friend grateful for a favor)-"Pll
dance at your wedding"
Slacker-'I wish you already had. ;
june.
She brings of afternoons the fairest,
Her nights are filled with lovers signs,
Her days are reckoned far the rarest.
June brings June brides,-more loneliness
Than all the other months together,
She brings the woodlands fairest dress
And, as a rule, delightful weather.
So very sweet a charm and grace
The month of June is ever bringing,
That here, for but little space,
Her praises we are sweetly singing.
In June once more we are the boy
And then all sorts of prankish stunts
do,
June brings more hours of happy joy
June brings-but let us tell the worst
Though all her other charms it smoth-
ers:
June always bring around the first
Her bills like any of the Othersi
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28


/ have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade,
When spring comes round with rustline
shade
And apple blossoms fill the air.
l have rendezvous with Death
When spring brings back blue days ano
fair.
1t may be he shall take my hand
And lead me into his dark land
And close my eyes and quench my breath;
1t may be / shall pass him still.
| have a rendezvous with Death.
BY some SCARED slope of battered hill.
When spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow flowers appear.
God knows 'twere better to be deep
Pillowed in silk and scented down.
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath
Where hushed awakenings are dear,
But I've rendezvous with Death
At midnight in some flaming town.
And to my pledged word am true,
l shall not fail that rendezvous.
Alan Seeger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Apparently a large sum of money is
necessary to the carrying on of the
United States government, even in
peace times, but it differs but slightly
from the amount expended by the 213
cities of this country having a popu-
laion of 10000 and over.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

The Red Cross campaign is over.
The next job is to recruit 10000 men
70. the army. There is no reason to
doubt that this call will meet with
III same sort of response as did the
calls for the liberty loan and the Red
Cross fund. The number should be
oversubscribed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Latest compilations on the subject
show that there is one motor driven
vehicle to every 20 persons in the
United States. A year ago the pro-
portion was one to AZ persons. Ac-
cording to the latest statistics. there
are 3.547.7SS cars and trucks in the
country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

plished 4 work never eXcelled in its
Importance and one which must ulti-
mately result in rescuing the cross of
democracy from the hands of those
who would drag it in the dust.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Elihu Root has become the Peter
the Hermit" of modern times. He is
travelling over Russia preaching a cru
SADIE against the stronghold of
autocracy located in Berlin. If he
succeed in arousing the hordes of
Muscovy into again taking W arms in
the holy war he will have accom-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

One of the notable phases of the
Great War is the fact that the cav
ally arm of the military service has
almost completely disappeared. The
mounts have given place to the afr
planes and the automobiles.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

While Germany is engaged in starv-
ing England by means of the U-boats,
Uncle Sam will take a hand in the
starving business by cutting off Ger
many's food imports by means of the
embargo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Hold the fort for am coming" is
the message sent by General Pershing
to the Frenchmen in the trenches.
Nobody doubts that they will hold it,
all right.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Dad" said the little maid of twelve
summers, every morning when 1 am
going to school the boys catch hold
Of me and kiss me-
We'll, Ethel replied dad, looking
over his newspaper, why don't you
run away from them"
Ethel fidgeted and cast her eyes
down on the carpet
81 did one morning" she said hest
tatingly, and they-they didn't chase
me-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

The canning season is on in Eu-
rope as well as here. over there the
people are busy canning their kings.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

peka State journal Information Blu
reau, Frederic ]. Haskin, Director.
Washington. D. c.. with 2-cent stamp
e: closed for reply.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

ticipation in the war. Wonder who
is holding her?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28
HOUSEHOLD HINTS
Menu Hint.
BREAKFAST

Menu Hint.
BREAKFAST
Cantaloupe
Eggs Cooked in the Shell
Toast Coffee
LUNCHEON
Asparagus Salad
Whole Wheat Bread and Butter
Pineapple Pie
DINNER
Consomme
Cold Roast Beef
Mash Potatoes String Beans
Dressed Lettuce
Prunes Corn Starch Pudding
Orange MarmaIade.
Two oranges. two lemons, one
grapefruit.
Shave fruit very thin. being care
in, but use all the pulp and peel
Measure fruit and add three times
the amount of water. Let stand in
earthenware bowl over night The
next morning boil ten minutes only.
Let stand another night. The second
morning add one pint of sugar and
boil until it jells.
The Table
Rub one pint cooked peas Cdried)
thru sieve, add two well beaten eggs.
one tablespoon melted butter, one
third teaspoon salt. dash of pepper and
a few drops onion Juice Put in but
tered molds and bake in a moderate
oven. Serve with one-half cup white
sauce to which has been added one
half cup cooked peas.
Cheese Custard-Four slices of
bread, one and one-half cups grated
cheese, one and one-half CUBS milk
one egg, one-half teaspoon salt, pap
rika. Cut the bread into slices one inch
thick. remove crusts and save, toasted
for soups. Grease a baking dish, put
in layer of bread. then a layer of
grated cheese and proceed until cheese
and bread are all used. Mix beaten
egg, salt, paprika and milk together
and pour over bread and cheese. Bake
in a moderately quick oven until nice
1y Drowned.
Fruit Pudding-One pint flour. one
heaping teaspoon baking powder.
pinch of salt, enough sweet milk to
make soft dough, one cup fruit Make
flour, baking powder, salt and milk
into soft dough. Add cup of chopped
peaches, cherries or any fruit pre-
ferred. Steam three-quarters hour
and serve with milk and sugar, or
thickened fruit juice.
Boiled Frosting.
All housekeepers have at times had
the experience of having boiled FROST
ing run off the cake. 1t is pretty
hard to judge just when to remove
the syrup from the fire.
Use one cup of sugar, one-half cum
OF water and boil till IL spins a thread
Pour slowly over the stiffly beaten
whites OF two eggs. beating with =
spoon all the time while pouring.
After beating thoroly put into a dou-
bic boiler ana cook for two or three
minutes Flavor and it is ready TO
use
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

be this: Stop right where you are,
and get your bearings. Decide on
some definite plan of life. Fix some
those silly geese who wander all over
the place, accomplishing nothing. who
are on their way, but don't know
where they are going.
A~~@7 @
Copyright. 1917. by the Wheeler Syndicate,
Incl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-06-28

Questions on the abov5 or any SUBJ
iect upon which the reader desires in
formation should be addressed the To-
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
suIu Women Warriors.

In the Philippines American soldiers
on several occasions came In contact
with Sulu women warriors. In one of
the last battles on the islands the
ISulus fortified themselves In the bowl
of an extinct volcano. 1t was rushed
and captured by American soldiers,
who discovered to their dismay, after
the battle, that number Of their an
tagonists had been women. Their fig
ures were as slim as those Of the men !;
both sexes wore their hair long. with
handkerchiefs over their heads, and
the women wore trousers similar to
those worn In Turkey. Thus they were
practically indistinguishable from the
men. The bravery of these women
warriors appears all the more remark
able when it is recalled that according
to the Mohammedan faith a man who
is slain while fighting Christians is
translated at once to heaven, but as
the women are not supposed to have
souls their sacrifice of life Is without
hope OF reward in hereafter.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Thinks He Can Draw His VIII.

One of the popular fallacies of the
country Is the belief that no particular
skill Is needed to draw up a will. Ar
thur Train, writing in the American
Magazine, says: 1.-THE most important
document that man is usually called
upon to execute during his entire life
time is his own will. 1t is generally,
however, transaction which he Is
perfectly content to let take care Of
itself, hit or miss-any old way. He
supposes that If he writes down what
he wants done with his property
signs 1t, and gets somebody to witness
II, that his heirs, executors. admins
traitors and assigns will go blithely on
their way, rejoicing forever. 1t Is al
most impossible TO convince people
that there Is really any care necessary
TO drawing a will. Yet even II will
is properly drawn, there are nine
chances out OF ten that, unless the at
torney watches with eagle eye. 1t will
not be legally signed and witnessed"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Would Rather Walk.

When Nellie's father came in on his
horse he got off, picked her up. and
put her on the horses back while he
shut the gate. No sooner had he
turned his back than he heard the
sound OF horses hoofs and knew that
the horse had begun to run for the
stable. He looked around quickly. ex-
pectlng to find her badly hurt, but in
Itead she had slipped Off and stood
placidly smiling. 81 fought preferred
to walk" she replied.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
0ESCENDS IN BURNING PLANE
British Airman Receivers From In.
Iuries Received After 1000
Feet Drop.

London. After one OF the most
miraculous escapes Of the war. Major
Bannatyne. ID. S. O.. Is today recover
ing from his injuries In the Green
cester hospital While flying alone at
a height OF more than 1000 feet his en-
CINE caught fire. He headed the ma
chine toward the ground Soon the
flames reached his feet. He climbed
cut of the seat and crawled along
The body OF the plane toward the tail
while the blazing plane plunged to-
ward the earth. The flames reached
him again. He swung himself of the
frame and hung by his hands under
the machine--now n mass of flames.
He fell into n piowed tield and wns
picked up suffering from broken arm.
scores OF cuts and with ull hlS hair
scorche,l TO a crisp.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
HISTORIC OLD SUN TAVERN
Ono Of 6oston's Landmarks, Built In
1890, for Many Years Used a.
q Fish Market

One OF the early taverns of Boston
was the Sun tavern which stood but a
few feet from the waters edge and
was built about 1890. For some years
II was kept by a Huguenot from Ro-
chelle named Cogneau. He made 1t
one OF the most popular Of taverns and
It was particularly popular with the
young men OF Boston and surrounding
country, partly for the reason that
mine host Cogneau had several very
attractive and liyelT daughters who
added a great deal to the charms of
the hosiery. Their father had the
privilege Of seeing two Of them mar
ried In the tavern, one Of them becom-
ing the wife OF Col. William Palfrey,
the famous Revolutionary patriot. He
became the grandfather of the noted
writer, John G. Palfrey.
Another daughter of this genial host
OF the Sun tavern married a successful
printer named Fleet. During the siege
of Boston the British seized the house
and they changed its name to the
Kings Arms. But when the Red Coats
had been chased out OF Boston the sign
of the Kings Arms quickly dlsap-
peared and the old sign Of the Sun
Tavern took Its place and the tavern
took on its olden time popularity. 1t
has for many years been used as fish
market.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Training the Skin.

It is pretty generally believed that
exposure to cold and wet weather.
will bring on the disorder known as a
cold" But sensitlveness to cold is
usually due to the fact that the nerve
centers controlling the circulation OF
blood through the skin are over-deli-
cate, and exhibit a sort of hair-trigger
reaction to exposure. By accustoming
the body gradually to cool and later to
cold baths, resistance to cold is set up.
Popular Science Monthly.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07

Members ~ the National party, re-
senting the suggestion that their White
House pickets are not as patriotic as
some of their less militant sisters. are
pointing out the record Of Miss Eleanor
hin Weed, granddaughter OF the late
Representative Ebenezer j. Hill OF
Connecticut. Miss Weed. who assisted
In picketing last spring. was one OF
the 10 vaSsar college girls who spent
last summer on farm. accomplishing
sum total Of products sufficient to
feed 1900 persons all winter and 20
head OF live stock until next years
crops are ripe. Miss Weed is sophie
more at vaSsar this year.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07

his Office. where number Jf telegraph
and telephone operators sit at keys
and switchboards. A cup OF coffee is
steamng AZ his desk. broad. fiat ta-
BILE upon which Is spread a great de
tail map with flags marking the line
Of attack. He drinks the coffee, lights
his pipe and turns 10 greet his brother
officers.
Men Co over the Top.
The hour Of the attack is marked by
general glance at watches and then
the phone rings. The men are over the
top Several phones ring. A number
Of detectives have been reached. An
s. O. s. signal from "a" section. All
reports are marked upon the big map
by flags. and as each objective Is
reached new dag Is added. AS re.
ports Of trouble come from different
points certain barrages are instructed
TO cut loose with everything they have.
"cut-in" shows the men lying by
their guns. which are loaded and
trained upon certain points. The s.
o. S. signal comes TO the gunner near,
est the string, who reaches out and
gives it yank while the other Gln-
ners jump into action. Before the
6rst shell has reached Its destination
a second Is on It's way and the big
show is on In full swing. We see the
men bombing the Germans out of dug
outs; fighting hand to hand In the
open ground with vicious thrusting OF
bayonets.
Finally the picture reverts to head
quarters, where we see the officer,
tired eyed but smiling, reading the
congratulations from all along the line
and transmitting them to the yictori-
Gus men out in the shell holes and
trenches.
II don't believe there's one of us
that wouldn't have given a great deal
to be right down there with our men,"
he said. That's the worst of having
a staff job. One must take a distant |
view of things and stay out of the |
show, which isn't a pleasant task, es-
pecially for that young officer who just |
handed me this report. I'll venture to
say that he'd yell with joy If he got
orders to go back to his regiment to-
night"
Along toward midnight our disabled
,ar came limping up to headquarters
'or us and our farewells were said
outside the door In the lnky blackness
If rainy night. We shook hands
here In the darkness with these men
Who had been our hosts. From the dis
ance came the deep-throated growl of
leavy guns.
"We never let up on them" said a
'oIce from the steps. ut has been
ust as you hear 1t now for months.
nd wen keep on until we finish the
OBJ We are going to win"
And that is the spirit that pesvades
lot only the headquarters staff but
very camp and every dugout on the
British front.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
A Useful Screen.

A useful contrivance for holding
newspapers, books or sewing is made,
by sewing pockets Of a suitable size
to q plain two or three section screen
about three feet high-procurable at
any furniture or department store for
mere nothing. When not In use
this screen can be folded together and
slowed away in very small space =,
but, II prettily covered in chintz. it
can be appropriately used in almost
any room Of the house.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Turks and caicos Islands.

Turks and Caicos Islands form a
dependency under the government of
Jamaica. but geographically they are
portion of the Bahamas, of which
they form the two southeastern groups.
There are upwards of 80 small islands
with an area of 1855 square miles, but
only eight are inhabited. The popula-
ton is about 5000. Of whom only 300
are whites. The most important in-
dustry is the salt raking.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
rrn MEN AND WOMEN.

INN IL located at AZ S. West Temple Street.
We guarantee to teach you the barber trade IN
short time. We get you job and furnish tools.
College, 43 S. West Temple St., Salt Lake City.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
The Indian Pioneers.

1t will be found that the North
American Indians rolled tobacco leaves
into primitive cigars and 'astounded
the early explorers" This is all that
can be obtained appertainlng to the
history Of tobacco, but the Japanese
are on record as having made tobacco
for pipe consumption many years be-
fore the weed itself came into the
hands of white men.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Some Wave.

Benevolent Old Lady Ito Jack Tar)
i suppose you have seen some hard
times, sailor?
Jack Tar-Lor' lumme, mum, I
should just say I ave. Why, me
and six pals was once on the crest of
one wave for fourteen hours with only
one bit Of baccy to chew between u.s.
London Ideas.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1917-12-07
Greatest Wireless Station.

The worlds greatest wireless station
has been built in Italy, powerful
enough to communicate with North
and South America when similar sta
tons are erected on this side OF the
Atlantic.