The Monticellonian., 1917-01-11


interesting to me and would be, even
If any of the facts mentioned We're
true. For know Monty Barnes: I've
Known him for years-ever since the
time we sat in the literary society to-
gether at Siwash college and Monty
used to get up and make speeches with
q voice that sounded like dried leaf
In wash boiler.
| remember Monty's first speech as
plainly as If had heard it. | can re-
peat it word for word He said: "M-mr
Ch-chairman, IL m-murn we adj
Joove.' He was holding on to two
chairs when he made it. Told me
afterward that he stopped them as
they were going around him and used
them as substitutes for knees. He was
the shyest man and the worst speaker
who ever got into the Gnothautii Lit
erary society. He had sat for year
before he dared make the above speech
And it took him another year to get
so fluent that he could address the So
ciety with the aid of only one chair.
l remember how we used to look for
ward to the nights when Monty ran
the society. As Il chairman he remind
ed me of q puny child tryi4g to herd
wildcats.
Monty W. so meek when we took
him in that he had to have written
permission to sneeze in chapel. | used
to watch him trying to arrange his
knees when he wanted to speak. You
know how important it Is that your
knees shall be in good voice when you
want to address a meeting. Time after
time he would get part way up with
few remarks balanced on the end of
his tongue and then his knees would
balk and insurge. and by the time he
had braced them up he had mislaid his
remarks and the meeting had surged
on. | used to pity him, though good
ness knows | wouldn't have gotten up
at that time for the world. WAS worse
than he but l WAS resigned to it. 1
remember too the night when Barnes
suddenly found himself sailing along
about one thousand miles above sea
level, riding his train of thought and
feeding new thoughts into his mind
as fast as he emptied it. | can see
now the look of ecstasy on his face
the look of a man who has Just discov-
cred how to drive an airplane and ride
the gale on an even keel From that
He became society nuisance He de-
bated and GRATED and remarked mt
every meeting, and it was common
thing for some member to rise in the
middle of his eloquence and say.
Mr. Chairman. l think it is about
time to cap the gas we'll"
And now little Barnes is in congress.
It's two years since he hung out his
law single I'll bet he started politi-
cal speaking before he got his sign
painted, and I'll bet they couldn't stop
him, either, until he had said what he
wanted to. I'd like to have heard his
campaign. I'd like to have seen the
surprise of some of the tough old poll
ticians WHO rose up to smother him
with scor, and got banged on the head
with the Unabridged dictionary. And
I'll bet congress doesn't worry him
either. He's had Gnothautii training.
Monty has, and no measly speaker is
going to head him off when he has a
face full of words.
That's what old Gnothautii did for
Monty. 1t did lot for all of us. too.
There is nothing in college that can
touch the literary society fer teaching
a man to get up and slam few choice,
sentiments into the other
back on those society nights l cannot
feel surprised at the large number of
awkward youngsters who afterward
went out and began bossing congress
sional districts before they could raise
After man has spent a
few years baling up and delivering his
Ideas in the face of parliamentary OBJ
1ections, whoops, yells, sarcasm and
furniture, little thing like
hypnotizing well-policed ward caucus
Is only child's play for him. They were
so fatally critical In our society. You
could talk to 1t as long as you inter-
ested it and no longer And the mem.
bers were so pleasantly frank about
your little faults of speaking You
didn't have to guess at those faults
oh, no. At the end of the meeting the
critic got up and told the society about |
them. He made his meaning perfectly |
plain. We always took care to choose |
q critic who had a good command of |
language.
Literary society night was a great |
feature at old Siwash. Friday and SAT-
lrday nights we frivoled and on Sun
day nights we studied. Monday, Tues
days and Wednesdays we filled up in |
vari60s unholy ways, but on Thursday !
nights we went to literary society. On |
night chums separated, |
brothers parted and enemies lined up
side by side, for half of US went to |
Gnothautii and half of us to Adelphl, |
and between the two there was gulf |
as wide as the misunderstanding be-
tween the national party factions.
OF course, our constitutional object |
as society was to conduct debates, I
emit orations, produce extempore
speeches and perfect ourselves in the
art of ruling meeting with a firm
hand when In the chair, and of upset I
ting it In the interests of the minority |
when on the foor-two accomplish I
ments on which the noble art of self T
government was based until they be-
gan to ring in these new-fangled and I
primaries. But, after all,
our deepest and most throbbng inter-