The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-10-16
GOOD MORNING
JUDGE


1 L1xtIe Et4 wa 4A1Se8ts
II you put your fingers in the are
and get burned don't como around
and try to get warrant for the IRE.
This advice In substance was given
to John Teag by Judge Pugh yester-
lday morning when he accused Eva
gohnson Of fobbing him Of $40.
Sunday afternoon John was intro
Iduced to Eva at the house where he
roomed. After telling her to sit
down and be comfortable, John
Hoped ON q couch and went to sleep.
\ When he woke up a SO bill and
Eva was missing. This was not ac-
lcording to the rules OF polite society
he thought and he procured q war
jrant for Eya's arrest,
l.. OF course, they didn't ind the SO.
and besides there may be some doubt
that John even had $40.
There was no way on earth to fas-
ten the crime on Eva. but John said
she was the only one around. That
wasn't so. becaue the house was full
Of people.
Well. John has learned q little
sense. The court let Eva 60.
Bin Was q Little Tso smart.
Early Sunday morning Bill Perry
j sent all his folks on to church.. He
had learned OF place where he
could get little toddy, and the way
his throat felt that morning he must
have that stun or break a britchen
strap.
Bill had been warned to bring
along his razor. You can never tell,
he was told. just when some guy
might get smart and "a razor would
be mighty useful tool.
Two hours Later Bill staggered
into the arms of Policeman Vaughn
SO stewed that he didn't even know
he had met a policeman.
| When they searched him at the
station house out came the razor.
Bill had carried this razor SO often
that he had cut in every pocket
from 1t.
These holes were to be used
Vaughn learned when Bill was
caught. to permit the razor to slip
down his trousers leg. This time
| 1t fell on hard concrete floor and
made racket.
And now Just for Bill being so
bright he Is out $50 bill.
| Tenshun Mista Hoovahf
For a couple months past George
Butler has been sweethearting with
! Elsie Gaines. Almost every day he
called OF her and the two often sat
down and broke bread. -
The road to love. however Is rather
rough and the pair had a falling
! out. George made himself scarce for
| q while.
Not long ago he received a bill for
what he had eaten. Just s14.5o worth.
It made him laugh. Who wouldn't?
This was Georges tale Of woe in
court when Elsie had him up for
failing to pay a board bill.
Elsie said he boarded there ind
George said he was merely counting.
simething fierce. the court told George
Elsie the s145o.
He will pay II all right. but believe
me. DO, the next time George goes
ACQUIRING he Is going to eat some
thing first. He said 1t was the fun
niest one ever pulled on him.
Dews VIII Do Better.
"Jedge. nah husban' starves me.
he beats me, he stays out all night,
en- he makes me iron his clos when
All am so weak fun hunger dat All
can't hardly stand UP to nah ironin'
boad."
When Mary Dews finished her tale
of woe she almost tainted. She look
ed as though she hadn't eaten for
three months.
"Jedge." chirped her hubby Ferdin-
and. ''yorter, see nah house. de walls
is full OBJ holes, whar she thowed
things at me, All CANT mex her do
nothing All tells her. She am the con-
trariest womun eber made"
Right here Mary started to unbut-
ton and show Judge Pugh where
Ferdy bruised her, but the Court said
1t would take her word for it.
There are three children In the
family and all have been trained to
dodge things that Ferdy and Mary
throw at each other.
These little pickaninnies prevented
Ferdy from going to jail for long
time, because II their pa went down
they would starve as well as the
mother.
Ferdy promised the court to hit
someone his size in the future and
a thirty-day sentence was suspended
The School for Scandal.
"Jedge, dis woman's darter wuz
blackguardin' me, en- All stops her
on de street to ak her bout 1t, en-
she ups en- knocks me ober." COM
planned Eleanor Brown, about Louisa
Young.
Did not. ledge" piped Louisa. dds
woman said some ondecent words to
NAH chile and All tole her she
shouldn't do it."
Sunday afternoon on H street
northeast the two women were CIV
ing the bystanders a free perform
ance. Then a cop broke in, spoiled
the show and the crowd went home.
Louisa said Eleanor had a knife
after her but Eleanor proved that
she never saw a knife. rs
The court said 1t was a fine spec
tacle when two well-dressed women.
instead Of going to church on SUM-
day stopped on a public thoroughfare
and scrapped.
II was all settled by Louisa hand
ing out s. for her fine.
WEATHER CONDITIONS.