davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08
Slow But Sure
Walt Mason.l

The delegate who's slow but sure is near
ly always sadly poor. / hire some fellows,
then and now, to NOW the lawn or shear the
COW, to shovel snow or whack up wood, and
"Slow but Sure" Is not much good. 1t puts
q wire edge On my nerves to watch the
slow mans languid curves, to see him stand
around, perplext as doubling what he should
do next. ] pay him when he's done his yen,
but | do not hire that man again, IL ] need
help to NOV the grass or cultivate the gar
den sass. He may be sure, but he's too
slow; when he is weaving to and fro you
have to line him with a post to see which
one is moving most. The man who wishes
to arrive must show the village he's alive,
When he is going anywhere his c~oattails
flap the balmy air; however humble DO his
grind he leaves a trail Of dust behind, In
every action, every step, he shows that he
is full of pep. Employers seek that hust-
ling gent In whom such shining traits are
blent. His energy %allures, enchants. We
let him wed our maiden aunts.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

THEN THERE is also the imperson-
al use of booze.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08
THE wREckER BEAT US THERE

Do you believe in ghosts?
Saturday we we're passing by the GEM
etery when a most blood-curdling moan
assailed our ears.
1t was enough to give a wooden Indian
the ague. 1t was positively weird. The
wall of a lost soul wasn't in it.
Sounded something like this:
"The New Mexican is one Of those un
fortunate newspaper abortions generally
in the newspaper graveyard, and it
would be there too, but for the mistaken
and misguided efforts of a gentleman
with more money than political under
standing and more cupidity than rea-
son."
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

lations when the Kaiser can reach over
the fence and grab you.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

MAYBE ONE Of these days we may
yet have some real "strict ~accounta-
bility."
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08
JABS ini s;:s ss.''
QUEER GIRLS

A modest girl is Dolly DEM,
As shy az can be found; 4.N M
She won't take off her glasses when
There 10 a man around.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The modesty Of Fanny Fee
Leaves DoIiy's far behind,
For If a mar Is looking she
Won't even change her mind.
Detroit Free Press.
A queerer girl Is Dora Dale,
You'll know II when we state
That even for a bargain sale
She does not change her gait.
Houston Post.
But listen, Iadsl Here's Nellie Nice,
Subscriber to "The Etpde,"
But wouldn't take the paper twice,
For then 'twould be re-nude.
-PhlIadelphIa Ledger.
What would you say Of Kitty Cooke?
Her plight was most distressing.
She feared to serve her salad, lest
Her guests would see her dressing.
Auto Suggestion.
Then there's the case of Dolly Devine,
Which more tragic Is we know,
For she won't hang her wash on the line,
For fear her pettlcoat will show.
Farm and Tractor.
Then there's the case Of Mabel Breeze
A modest girl is Mabel.
She bushes every time she sees
The legs upon the table.
Roswell News.
More prwSish yet Is fair Yvette-
MY! how she holds aloof!
She will not walk downtown for fear
She might see a hip.roof.
FIRST THING on the Preparedness
Program is a Maxim ~silencer for VIII
liam Jennings Bryan.
BILL, WE fear, is at last done.
WV"
Wilhelm poisoned the bright blue sea,
Folks they drowned In agonee.
Willle's up to tricks Of late;
Amt he cute! He's fifty-eight.
Chicago Tribune.
~
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

WILLIAM WILBERFORCE, the slave
liberator, had a sister who was a hust-
Ter. She hustled for William at the
hastings and succeeded in getting him
elected to parliament. On one occasion,
when she had concluded her stump
speech, some enthusiasts in the crowd
shouted:
miss Wilberforce f%orever!"
The lady stepped forward.
Gentlemen, l thank you" she said,
t'but believe me, | do not wish to be
Miss Wilberforce forever"
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

WE WE'RE sort Of kicked into this
war, as it were.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08
WHAT?
EDITOR NEW MEXICAN,
V..N-w--Y

HOLLAND, SWITZERLAND, etc, are
much enthuscd by u example-bu II
is something else again. breaking off re-
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

First Girl cant Just recall what a fugue
is. DO yon know?
Second Girl-Certainly! It's one of those
horrible family ~quarrels that Southerners
carry on through generation .-Boston Tran
script.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

UNTIL FURTHER orders from the
Kaiser there will be no change in seized
ule on the Lamy branch or the New
Mexico Central.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

WAR NIGHT reduce the cost of liv-
ing a little. 1t couldn't raise it.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

of us to %sympathize with Mr.. Bernstorff
in his sorrow over the rupture of re-
~lations.
THERE is no use feeling panicky
over the prospect OF war. The thing to
do is for every a woman and child
to be ready to do his or her "bit" in the
campaign for preparedness, however
small 1t may be. With 100, 000,0 900 people
working to a common end for a common
country, the results can be made amaz-
ing.
ISSUANCE OF tickets to us by the
Kaiser to travel the high seas might
easily be followed by a mandate that all
Americans must tip their hats when
they pass by a picture of his illustrious
majesty.
THAT MAJESTY dope never did go
down with the Yanks.
WE SHOULD meanwhile worry over
how long it takes the German amhassa-
dor to get home or what route he trav-
els.
APOLOGIES TO Alvan White. No one
present had any desire to shove him
out Of the judgeship race-and may the
best man win.
WE MIGHT resurrect that flag Of the
early days bearing the picture of a ser
pent and the legend Don't Tread On
Me-
THERE is still no wal party in this
country. But there appears to be a
mighty vigorous Observation-Disclosures
Fight-For.It party.
v-v-v-
WHAT?
EDITOR NEW MEXICAN:
In q recent publication from the pen
or type writer Of one OF our most promi-
nent citizens, ! find the following gem
OF thought:
"Modesty is q most becoming virtue.
but 1t is after all = great handicap in
the race for success"
This should be given all publicity
possible, Yours, etc,
OBSERVER.
wv-w-v
HOLLAND, SWITZERLAND, ETC., are I
much pnthusCd by our pxamDlp~-but II
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

FIRST BOYS to, be assessed are
those who have made several billions by
matrimonial alliance with war brides.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

THERE is really little time for n
of us to %sympathize with Mr.. Bernstorff
in his sorrow over the rupture Of re-
l~ations.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

FIRST THING on the Preparedness
Program is a Maxim ~silencer for VIII
liam Jennings Bryan.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

WHEN WE were kids, says the Fort
Sumner Review, our troubles were most
ly stone bruises and sore toes; now it
is either the grippe or a libel suit. But
then, permit the New Mex. to add, there
are some worthwhile features about IL
bel suits.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08


THE TUCUMCARI Sun reports a pa
thetic tragedy 1t says: 1.-THE little g.
year-old Ford of Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer
Tarbox climbed a tree last Wednesday
and fell to the ground, severely injuring
the interior periphery of its thorax. A
major operation at the hospital was ne
cessary. At last reports it was breathing
nicely.
HIT THE ball, boys, on that prepared
ness stunt. The dachshund is running
amuck.
SELF CONTROL is all right--but
don't let's be too excessively deliberate.
Uncle Sans business right now requir-
eth the high gear.
THE PRINTER persists in setting
up that ambassadors name as Bum
stuff"
WE SHOULD have sent him and the
consuls home via Torreon and Chihua-
hua City.
NEW MEXICO this-year is full of pep
and beans.
Nf. WV"
1T ISN'T going to take any nine
months for any Americans to get out of
Germany.
sv-v-v-v
IF WE had about 100000 men like
Pershing's we could say to the world,
Go To-.
LET'S GET 'em as quick as the Lord
will let us.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08
BILL, WE fear, is at last done.

Wilhelm poisoned the bright blue sea,
Folks they drowned In asonee
Willle's up to tricks Of late;
Amt he cute! He's fifty-eight.
Chicago Tribune.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

More pruSish yet Is fair Yvette-
Ny! how she holds aIoofl
She will not walk downtown for fear
She might see a hip-roof.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1917-02-08

A modest girl Is Dolly DEM,
As shy az can be found;
She won't take off her glasses when
There 10 a man around.
-Cinrinnnt Enouirar
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
A CLUB

An enthusiastic meeting of repub-
leans was held in the parlors of the
Coleman house Thursday afternoon.
Senator Carter was present and it
was decided to organize a republican
club that it tend to revive the lethar-
gy among certain people in the party.
There was no evidence Of lack of in
terest at the meeting. Every one
seemed thoroughly alive and intent on
the success of the party and their en-
thusiasm will spread and diffuse it.
self among the people accomplishing
great good to the party with whom
they affiliate. The work of organize.
ton was left in the hands of a sub
committee and they Immediately
formed plans for getting up the club.
Already their is a large number en-
rolled and the club is being constant
ly augmented by new members.
Monday, October 31st, there will
be a grand rally held in the court
house with some of the most eminent
speakers in the state present who will
address the audience. Col. Thos
Marshall of Missoula, candidate for
representative on the republican tick
ct, is expected to be present on that
occasion. A grand torchlight pro.
cession will be one Of the features Of
the evening.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

hat would derange the compass of
anv hostile ship that might attempt
asurprise attack. That was back in
the nineties, and as the suggestion
came from a we'll known officer of
the engineer corps it was decided to
test the theory. Accordingly a huge
magnet was built a New York
City, by means of two cannon, a ton
of steel rails and a few miles of in
sulated wire. The rails were laid
across the butt of the cannon to
connect" them and the wire was
wound about their firing end. When
the current from a big dynamo was
turned into this magnet it developed
surprising power.
Although it would not draw the
nails out of passing ships, as the lode
stone mountain did to the vessel of
Sinbad the Sailor, it was guaranteed
by it's inventor to disarrange the
compass of any ship within six miles.
If the coast was ever attacked by an
enemv fleet under cover of darkness
or fog, this officer argued, the magnet
would so completely upset the COM
passes of the enemy hat his ships
would be more likely to run ashore,
than to make a successful attack.
Records are unobtainable of Just
how far this assertion was borne out
by the experiment. In any event, the
magnet was built and remained in
tact for some time. But there was NO
attempt to extend the plan, and ulti-
mately it went into the discard, thus
marking the end of an ingenious
scheme which seemed to have some re-
markable possibilities.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

city was in a particularly thriving
condition.
The highest range beef price Of the
q was obtained on Thursday OF
last week by Geo. Drabbs of Hins-
dale, Valley county, who had a ship
ment on the Chicago market on that
date. Sixteen head, averaging 1862
pounds, sold at $500, the top notch
of the season. Seven head of the
same shipment and averaging 1874
pounds, sold at $500. This is the
third consecutive season that Mr..
Drabbs has topped the market for
Montana beef.
VIM. Humphry of Culbertson was
among the visitors who enjoyed Sen
ator Carter's speech Wednesday even
ing.
Hoke Smith, who has been east
with R. H. McNeill and Milt Harrah
with a bunch of horses returned to
Glasgow Thursday. Mr.. McNeill re-
turned home some two weeks ago and
the both report having done we'll
with their horses.
W. B. Shaw, the robust picture of
mental and physical strength was in
Glasgow this week winning for the
republican party and himself many
friends. Mr.. Shaw is possessed of
that happy power of magnetism that
draws his fellow mar to him as the
needle to the lodestone.
Work has been commenced on the
Saco bridge across Milk river. The
foundation for the structure and the
approaches will be made at saco
| Glasgow and Malta before it freezes
up too hard for that kind of labor
The bridge proper a then be put in
at any time. The bridges will not
be completed before January l.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

phor but in a quiet way reviewed
facts, conditions and causes and gave
his auditors some questions to study
over He dwelt upon the tariff and
brought his hearers to their own To-
cality that they might know the alb
solute truth of his words. He re-
counted a few of the unfailing evil
dences of prosperity that present
themselves on every hand from Maine
to California and from the Great
Lakes to the Gulf. He epitomized the
monetary issue and plainly explained
to the people the currency question.
A large and enthusiastic audience
greeted the senator despite the in
clemency of the weather.
j. X. Chase, the old Porcupine
from Wolf Point, whose friends in
Glasgow are legion, visited in the
county seat a couple of days this
week. Mr.. Chase is one of those
fearless republicans who stands as
Horatio at the bridge for party prin-
cipal. He has the unique distinction
of being the only republican upon the
reservation west of Poplar.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
10 Years
M Taken from
III the Files Of
-SO De NdNep
=:=:::== C0untp Ga
ssfts Of Nineteen Years Ago.

Robert Able disposed of his cattle
in St. Paul for 1920.
Judge Marley acted as county at
torney during the absence of John ].
Kerr.
VIM. McBridge, the next assessor of
this county, was visiting among his
friends and making new ones in Glas-
gov this week.
Andrew Sherry of Hinsdale is in
town. He reports having done ex-
ceedingly we'll with his cattle in the
market this fall.
Mrs. F. M. Fryburg attended the
state convention of the order of Re-
bekah's at Anaconda as a delegate
from this lodge. Her friend, Mrs.
DR.. Hoyt, accompanied her.
Sky Small, who spent the summer
in the gold regions of Alaska, re-
turned to Glasgow this week to spend
the winter. He expects to return to
Dawson City next February.
Mrs. VIM. H. Berry, who has been
visiting her home in the east the past
three months, returned to Glasgow
recently. Her mother, Mrs. Weed, re-
turned with her and will spend the
winter in Glasgow.
Fred Whitbread and Fred Groves
returned from the east the first o.
the week. Groves disposed OF his cat
tie in St. Paul at Alb, while Whit
bread shipped on to Chicago, refusing
$4.O5 in St. Paul, and got $4.6O in tn
Windy City market.
Jas. Deegan returned from the cas-
Wednesday. He disposed of his cat
tie in St. Paul at $4.2O, which
equivalent to $3.50 in Chicago. BE
fore returning he paid a visit to hi
brother in Winnipeg. He says tina
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
C~ULBERTSON NEWS

Heddrich Bros store is going up
slowly on account Of the difficulty in
securing building material.
Louis Gilbert is acting as cook at
Culbertson hotel.
Jas. Baker has accepted a position
as clerk in Brugger's store.
Geo. Nugent had a finger shot off
accidentally recently by a shot gun
being discharged as he was climbing
through a wire fence.
Mr.. Grassick of Canada, recently
purchased forty head of horses from
Messrs. Williams, Nugent and Cush-
ing.
A ball will be given in the hotel
Thursday evening the 9th. Music
will be furnished by the Poplar string
band.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
GAVE THEM FACTS

Senator T. H. Carter, one of the
brightest minds today in the U. S.,
one of the most profound students of
economy, one of the acknowledged
thinkers of the day, visited Glasgow
Wednesday evening and talked on the
topics of the day anent the political
situation as it stands today in this
country. He did not attempt to
tickle the a with alluring meta
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
IN NO HURRY TO FLY

"John, you ought to get in the avia-
ton service" a York man told a ne
gro, last week. "You are a good me-
chanic and would come in handy in an
aeroplane. How would you like to
fly among the clouds a mile high and
drop a few bombs down on the Ger
mans?
II amt in no special hurry to fly,
Cap" the negro answered. "When
wese up bout a mile high, s'pose de
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
FROM GLOOM TO SUNSHINE

Since 1896 when by an overwhelm-
ing majority the people repudiated
democracy and placed at the helm Of
the ship of state the republican par
ty, an era of prosperity has followed
in the wake of the darkest financial
hours ever witnessed by this republic.
In eighteen short months the country
has been lifted from the slough of
despond to the bright plains of pros
perity. The improvement has not
been confined to localities but has
been general throughout the land,
every community feeling the stimu-
lating effects of renewed activity. In
our own county, for instance, we
have had increase in our property
of over 100 per cent, besides the in
crease in wages and quantity of work
for the laborer. In 1896 sheep were
worth about $3.50 per head and wool
an average of 8 cents per pound. This
year a ready market is found for
sheep at $3.50 per head and wool has
just doubled in value, selling for Ice.
Cattle on the range in 1896 were pur-
chased at SIG per head, while in the
present year of our Lord it is diff
cult to buy them for $50.
The track workers on the Great
Northern railway through this coun-
try have had their wages advanced
40 cents per day without requesting
it. Take, however, the three items of
cattle, wool and sheep and you will
be astounded at the increase to the
wealth of Valley county:
Increase of So on 100000
head of sheep 5000 900
Increase of $14 per head on
22,206 cattle ...-."----. 310,884
Increase of 8 cts. per ID on
800, 900 lbs. of wool..-.. $4,000
Total increase .........-.-!$574,884
This makes a per capita increase
equal to over $500 for every soul in
Valley county.
In the face of these miraculous &C.
complishments it seems beyond hui
man conception that any mar should
go to the polls and vote against ar
administration that has brought
about these happy conditions.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
MISPLACED

A Jersey mar of a benevolent turn
of mind encountered a small boy in
his neighborhood, who gave evidence
of having emerged but lately from a
severe battle.
II am sorry" said the man, "to see
that you have a black eye, Sammy"
Whereupon Sammy retorted.
"You go home and be sorry for
your own little boy-he's got two!"-
Everybody's Magazine.
The Russians are getting more re-
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
WANTED A

A keen temperance advocate was
addressing a meeting on his pet SUBJ
ject. 81 should like" he declared,
ito take every bottle of wine and ev-
cry bottle Of beer and every bottle
of spirits and sink them all to the
bottom of the sea-"
A man at the back of the hall
jumped up excitedly, shouting: "Hear,
hear! Hear, heart"
The lecturer paused in his remarks
to beam delighted approval on the
interrupter.
"Ah, my FRIEND" he said, II see you
are a good teetotaler; a man made of
the right stuff"
"Oh, no." said the man: 81 am a
diver" - Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele
graph.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
Sour Stomach.

Eat slowly, masticate your food
thoroughly abstain from meat for a
few days and in most cases the soul
stomach will disappear. If it does
not, take one of Chamberlain's Tab
lets Immediately after supper. Red
meats are most ligely to cause sour
stomach and you may find it best to
cut them out.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
Group.

If your children are subject to Group
get a bottle of Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy, and when the attack comes
on be careful to follow the plain print
ed directions. You will be surprised
at the quick relief which it affords.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

Divorces are 20 common nov that
they are no longer considered good
theatrical advertisements.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

Sweden would prefer to be remem-
,ered for it's highly trained engineers
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26
BIG MAGNET IN PLAN TO
SEND ENEMY SHIPS ASTRAY

One of the most unique defensive
measures ever proposed to the United
States government was the fortifica-
ton of the coast with giant magnets
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

engine stopt and de white man told
me to git out an crank."-York News.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

and scientists than for IL sllly dlp,e.
mats.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

volutionary all the time. At last re-
ports they have taken to bathing.
The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1917-10-26

The Russians r getting more re-
The Washington times., 1917-07-27
ARRESTED FOR SPEEDING
TO 0VERTAKE SPEEDERS
Judge Who Turned Cop Found
Guilty Of Violating Law.

NEW YORK, July 27.-Harlan s.
Brown is a Justice OF the peace at
Kearny, N. J., and is also q special
policeman. When business as q jus
tice gets slack the Judge hits the
police trail.
Monday the Judge took his automo-
bile and rounded up fve speed en-
thusiasts. He hailed them before Act
ing Police Justice Cooper, who fined
rnem after Brown testified they were
going upward OF thirty-hve miles an
hour, by his new speedometer.
The activities OF the Judge incensed
Motorcycle Policeman Bill Partridge,
as he considered they were infringe
ments on his duties. He complained
to Police Justice Souter, and last
night Judge Brown was arrested for
speeding.
At the trial II was readily proved
he must have broken the speed laws
himself when he caught the hve
speeders, and he was found guilty.
Sentence was suspended
The Washington times., 1917-07-27
Why You Should
Never Pare a Corn

n you are troubled with corns or
calluses, do not run the risk Of blood
poison by pairing them. Statistics
show that many deaths have occur
red from this seemingly innocent prac-
tice of pairing corns.
Simply go to your druggist and get
a few cents worth OF Ice-Mint, rub q
little on any painful corn or callus.
Immediately the pain will disappear
and in a short time the corn or callus
will loosen and lift off easily with
the fngers-root and All-leaving the
surrounding skin In a healthy, normal
condition.
This, together with the fact that
Ice-Mint overcomes such affections as
sore, tried. aching puffed or burning
feet and makes them cool, easy and
comfortable, Is probably responsible
for the hearty endorsement given II
by druggists.
To rid ones feet OF every hard corn.
soft corn, corn between the toes or
painful calluses in such a pleasant
and safe way, makes II seem the
height OF folly for anyone to pare a
corn, and people are warned TO stop
It-Advt-
The Washington times., 1917-07-27
SOLDIER BROKER HOME,
GREETED ASA HERO

NEW YORK. July 27.-ons year
ago william H. wallace. jr., was sus-
pended from the New York Stock Ex-
change for twelve months. Having
nothing in particular to DO, Mr.. Wal
lace sailed for France and shortly
thereafter sailed into the Germans
under French colors. He became such
a good soldier mat he was soon made
an officer. aud in the twelve inter-
vening months won several medals
and honorable mention.
The stock exchange welcomed him
back on the floor yesterday and he
was gladly received by his fellow
brokers. The exchange officials an
nounced that his name had been
placed on the honor roll o. men from
the New York Stock Exchange who
are rendering distinguished service
during the war.
Mr.. Wallace. with his partner. John
Jerome Kelly, was suspended from
the stock exchange on July 13, 1915.
for factions inconsistent with just
and equitable principles of trade"
Kelly was suspended for sixty days
and Wallace for twelve months