The Washington herald., 1917-03-11

fallen to the lot OF q woman physician In
Chicago. DR.. Bertha Van Hoosen. to dis
cover that American civilization has
evolved thIrd sex. = neuter gender In
human kind. She made this startling
announcement In the course Of . lecture
TO lot OF girl studenta
II has created q coed deal Of talk.
Naturally IT would, s'Peeially among en-
DR.. Van Hoosen says that this nsutsr
sex 10 an effshoot Of the old standard aud
well-known female sex. Maybs 20. Yet
have known q lot Of persons who wore
pants who certainly were not really men.
And ] don't believe the polics would let
them pose as women 80 they Keep rfeht
on wearing mems clothes with watches
on their wrists and handkerchiefs In thar
cuffs.
Now that DR.. Van Hoosen has estae-
hshed the existence CT this neuter sex
an interesting question arises as to what
We are to call thsm. I suppose In the
abstract they will be referred to as tits"
instead of hes or shea" That's sim
pie enough Class them in with furniture
or garbage cans or holes in the ground.
But how are We going to address let
ters to them? We can't write Mr." or
Miss" and naturally "Mrs.." IL cut Of
the question. What then? How would
the prefix ''Neutress" or "Unmiss." or
'Unmlssed' do for a tTyout until their
status In society is definitely settled?
Their future social standing suggests
the prospects Of complications and en-
harrassing entanElements- Who Is going
to decide whether an individual is fe-
male or a neuter? 1t will probably have
TO be left to a government commission.
and, believe me, those commissioners will
have no cinch. They will be only human
and sure to make some mistakes. Imagine
the hair-pulling and face-scratching they
will let themselves In for when they put
In the neuter class some one who con-
siders herself a regular. full blooded fe-
male! Good night!
Then again. how about the question Of
10 the vote? Or will they have to fight
for IL under the banners OF the suffra-
gettes7 Or will they be disentranchised
absolutely
II it is decided that they are entitled
to II as near men," can see thousands
OF enthusiastic suffs rushing to the COM
mission offce to renounce their woman
hood and swearing to high heaven that
they are neuters. There are no end Of
them who are just as devoted to the cause
- all that. They would not hesitate for
a moment to sacrifice the chance of all
mony and the hope Of postertty to get
the vote
And that suggests another complica-
tiOn. How about people who are already
married and it turns out that the wife
instead Of being a female Is q neuter?
There are doubtless plenty OF them. VIII
their relations remain as Is" or will all
lets be declared of and the marriage ties
busted. or will she. or rather 1t. be en-
t;titd to alimOny?
This Encouragement OF the sexes is
going to make il very trying for host
eases also. How will neuters be classed
at receptions and banquets? Will they
dance with each other and take each
other in 70 dinner? or will the old-estab-
shed custom Of dividing crowds into
couples be revised and a unit of three
Srbstituted consisting OF q male. fe-
male and neuter? Three-handed turkey
ir"tIing will keen the dancing masters
''%v teaching for awhile anyway. It's
AZ IA wind that blows nobody good.
@.I"-y one admits that two's company
IH thr-r j. \ crowd. 1 very much
i'-'r that units o! three are not going TO
'-' popular. Imagine an it sitting along
lIe while he and she are waxing
:, ..:IfTpUtal' IL can't he done.
iH"E 'h"r" - the question OF clothes.
iI'S p" the neuters going to dress? To
t'- sit"". thIS is not serious as II seems
Al first blush. They say that women's
sAirts are going to get still shorter. If
IN time women will probably wear moth
in= below the waist but tights and
u IHnks. as men did a few centuries ago.
while men will stick to trousers. Neuters
"dn easily get in somewhere between.
Perhaps they will wear knee pants.
The fact that this country is a neuter
IN the war is not the reason for the
development OF this neuter sex as might
naturally be supposed. In making the
NJ har Dr
H0osen says:
"A great many girls are discovering
that their natures are not at all domestic
and that they have no spark OF the nor
nal desire 10 marry and rear children.
This new individual will be a neuter
gender and have more time to cultivate
its brain than the woman who gives
up part OF her time to child bearing"
so, in addition to u swarm OF sexless
its" We are to be inundated with an
army of highbroWs! DIR. Van Hoosen
has surely let Us in for a lot of trouble
What can't understand Is how It hap
pens that Chicago is the place where
the its were first discovered. That
does not seem to be the natural en-
vIronment for them in the least. You
would think they would be first developed
in Boston. Is the Hub losing its grip
on mental advancement and are the
brains OF the Boston girls getting soggy,
like their own beloved baked beans? Most
people, especially in the East, have gen.
orally credited Chicago girls with hay-
ing heads about as full OF brains as a
toy balloon. But 1t seems We were all
wrong. Their great mentality has lifted
part OF them into another gender.
Here Is some good news for the Anglo
maniacs- We are to have a college of
heraldry right here in these our United
states,
Anyone who wants a coat-of-arms can
have it-for a thousand dollars-and It
will be vouched for by experts and regu-
lar authorities on such matters. If they
are already using armorial bearings they
can get them youched for, corrected and
brought up-to-dats without the trouble
and expense OF going to England or any
other European country for that pur-
pose.
Mr.. Harry Hargraves. who Is the broth
er of Baron Keen. or London, is the per
son who has inaugurated this idea and
the head of the association that Is to pro-
mote 1t. He has made a hobby Of coats
of-arms and crests and all that sort of
thing, and knows more about them than
George Eastman does about kodaks. or
Schwab about steel, or Henry Ford about
motor cars.