The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-18

A man was arrested in Chicago
 charged with trying to form an organi-
 zation whose members were pledged. If
 drafted, to shoot their officers and sur-
 render to the Germans. That fellow must
 have a great admiration for the Kaiser | * x | Citizens without technical training may l be confused by the statements of ex- perts regarding Muscle Shoals and the
 Warrior river but that's no sign that they are going to be neutral l Editorial writers are still wondering what the American soldiers will use for sons idea of nothing in particulas to worry about.
 When one of those classic dancers who puts her foot down on something alive and wiggling she loses all interest in art
 k A recent photograph shows Marconi surrounded by determined looking women who want to learn wireless telegraphy. He doesn't look at all happy.
 
 Senator Reed criticizes Mr. Hoover for trying to save pie crust. Still. the honorable senator will concede that food conservation has to start somewhere. In the meantime, what has become Of the old-fashioned reporter who ex- hausted his powers of description when he wrote. Strong men wept." We might as well wait for the his- torians to tell us what actually happened to our transports carrying American troops to France
 The Kaiser put real heart throb into his autographed letter to Won Beth mann-Hollweg, accepting the chancel- TOT resignation.
 Miss Rankin Is not figuring on the front page every day but the chances are absenteeism will never be charged against her.
 As time goes on Constantine probably feels that he is drifting farther and farther away from the throne of Greece 1 Having been born in log cabin, Gen. eral Korniloff, according to American ideals, is suitable presidential timber * * l We have improved in other ways, but the notion that the government is some thing to be gouged still prevails LUKE M'LUKE SAYS i When a small boy says that he went I in swimming twice on a hot day he | means that he was in all morning and | all afternoon with an interval for lunch | The prohibitionist who never touches whisky except to cure cold always has cold.
 I I he'll take up the matter when the time ! comes. he means that he isn't going to l bother any more with it. | Any man who has a six-cylinder case | Of rheumatism wonders why the news 1 papers waste space printing the fore casts of the weather bureau. | When woman Is dressed she will place more faith in little safety pin and hook and eye than man would in paddock and a chain. l Why is 1t that dame who is living | with her fifth husband thinks 1t is up to 1 her to indignate about Mormonism and tell how perfectly terrible it must be to be the wife of Mormon? A woman can have six pairs of scissors { scattered all around her when she is I sewing But that won't prevent her | from biting the thread off with her teeth l People seem to be so afraid to use l tkem that they give you an impression l that they must imagine that kind words
 cost more than the other sort.
 One of the most foolish ways of vast l ing time Is to have a grudge and keep
 it in good working order.
 A man can feel resigned and try to get
 through the world on the face and the
 shape he was born with. But a woman is never satisfied with what nature gave her. A fool man doesn't know the difference. But when woman goes to party she can tell you just how many women are
 wearing made-over dresses.
 When man sees some of the babies
 he used to know who are carrying babies of their own, he begins to realize that he
 is getting old.
 The statesmen of the past were born
 in log cabins And the statesmen of the
 future will be born in tenements.