The Washington herald., 1917-09-23
Take In the Slack.

lukc IN tne slack.
His name was Slack. Front name,
Charlie. He has been knocking all
around the country, working one
day. loafing the next. A regular
member of the brotherhood of Mi
gratory Workers. Rode side door
Pullmans and patronized the side
entrance of saloons. Came to Wash
ington. probably to get some of that
easy German influence" fund OF
s50.000 cold bucks.
He got a job in a hardware store
He was very hard on the store
IL he had stayed very long the es-
tablishment would have had to re-
stock altogether. He wasn't such
good salesman, we don't mean that
at all. He stole pinchers and was
pinched. Four pairs. All brand
new. The boss hollered. When II
came to honesty he was very
slack" But Charlie said 1t was
his first sin and Judge Pugh or
dered him out of the Garden OF
Eden for thirty days in the inferno
at Occoquan.
Just Human Nature.
Joe Tracy lives in the country.
Once a year he puts on his Sun
uoy I II e dHu
comes to town. Friday afternoon
he was wandering around the town.
all dressed up in a new suit, plenty
of Hoyt's cologne and pomade
litholine on his hair, patent leather
shoes. peg leg trousers and a red
necktie. A greasy-looking individ-
ual spotted him. Five minutes later
Joe was in a tough joint with a
lot of other boys in their dirty
undershirts.
He heard the Darktown music.
The bones were rolling. He could
no more resist joining in the game
than limburger cheese can keep
from smelling. Five more minutes
escaped. The native Ethiopians
were determined to clean Joe. They
did. He hadn't shot craps for a
whole week. He hit Frank Marble
under the chin and Jared his teeth.
When the cop took hold of Joe. his
trouser knees were all dirty, his
new felt hat was a sight, and he
was some mess. This was his first
offense that we know of for six
months and he was released on per-
sonal bonds and told to get back
home.
Josephine Was Touchey.
Hattie Burke and Josephine Malvin
are stepsisters. They worked in a
laundry. Last week they were both
fired. Hattie had some money saved
up and kept 1t In a trunk in the
room shared by both of them. jose
phine loafed around. Hattie looked
for job and got one. She needed
some better looking clothes than she
wore in the laundry. She looked in
the trunk for her coin. 1t was gone.
At first she didn't suspect Josephine.
Thursday afternoon Josephine was
flushed with dough. She was taking
a rise" out of all the boys. They
all fioclled around. attracted by the
swell dCds. II she had kept out of
Hattie's way it would have been al
right. Who would suspect her, she
thought. Well. it happens that Hat
tie got suspicious because her beau
was becoming too attentive to Jose
phine and she sought the reason
Eleven dollars was a pile of money.
warrant came for Josephine. She
is in Jail for sixty days, and must
wear jail-house clothes.
The Poor Henpecked Husband.
Rosie Turner supports her husband
by washing clothes and whirling a
broom handle. Hubby works one day.
loafs week and loses what he earns
in craps or poker. He never has a
cent unless Rosie gives 1t to him.
There are five children. Surely the
women are taking the mems places
and giving the men their wages. Jack,
the hubby. really gets paid to be
called papa"
Wednesday afternoon Jack had a
date. He needed some money. Rosie
gave him 25 cents. Joe scorned the
two-bit piece and 1t got on Rosie's
nerves. She gave Jack a piece of her
mind. Why should she, when Jack
was allowing her to support him. She
should have appreciated the privilege,
so Jack thought and he poked her in
the eye. Women are so unapprecia-
tive any how, no matter what you do
Tor them they are never thankful.
To make matters worse she had him
arrested. This was the straw that
broke the camel's back. JacS must
get hold of so as wifey ha,' sense
enough to refuse to pay 1t.
A Sweet Time.
Sugar is getting expensive. Too ex-
pensive to be thrown away. Albert
jackson boards at the house of EN-
manuel Bradley. He pays 81 a week
for room and board. He eats about
IS worth week. He has received sew
eral hints to move, but they fell on
deaf ears.
He was co otiS6ad CO ,,-l,,, .bo,,,s h.