Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1917-10-05
AWONDERFUL
DISCOVERY
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

X
Three months ago the drug stores Of
the world opened war on me because
Of my wonderful medical remedies.
Those remedies had proved so wonder
full in curing all ailments that the
druggists found their customers turning
from them. A combination was formed
against me, with millions of dollars
back Of it, and threats were made that
| would be bankrupt in six months.
l am now going for the druggists
in turn, and l have brought forth a
wonderful remedy that will shut the
doors on many of them. l have COM
bined my twenty-One remedies in the
shape Of a porous plaster, and that
plaster is going to revOlutionize the
world.
The name, Browns Paradise Porous
Plaster is printed on in red ink, and
no one who can read can be deceived
by an envious druggist. The plasters
are fringed all around by a strip Of
caIfskin so that falling over fence or
from the roof of barn cannot dtslodge
or damage them. In putting them on
the help of another person is required.
The back should first be rubbed with
hot vinegar and red pepper. When the
flesh begins to smart and raise you on
your toes the plaster should be capped
on. Great care should be taken that no
needles, pins or carpet tacks should get
mixed in. When the plaster is on, rub
it over with a rolling pin. This takes
about two minutes, and after it is fin
ishe;l that plaster will stick by you for
the rest of your life. If you live fifty
years you will never want another. AS
to what my porous plaster will do l
shall not make any boasts, but l will
mOdestly say:
That it will cure sore throat in two
seconds.
It will remove corn while you are
throwing chair at the cat
1t will cure rheumatism while you
are trading jackknives with a tin ped
dler.
It will knock a stiff knee sitter than
q poker while you are walking forty
rods to the nearest saloon.
It will cure consumption unless both
lungs are gone and your ribs are all
caved in.
1t will prevent pneumonia and disap,
point the doctors
In nv claims of what my porous
plaster will do I have confined myself
exclusively to human beings. l had not
tried it on animal life when a gentle
maa named Eben JehOshaphat Jones Of
the state of Kansas wrote to me that
he owned a horse twenty-seven years
old that had been blind and deaf for
the last seven years The horse was
so deaf that he couldn't hear thun-
derstorm and so blind that it was
common thing for him to knock the
doors off the barn about five times
week. The horse had not been put out
Of the way because he was the favor
tie mount Of Eben's first, second and
third wives and he was keeping him
alive out of sentiment He read or my
Paradise Porous Plasters, and he
bought two and tried them on the
horse. His color was that Of a dish
rag, but in one week it had changed
to bright bay. The sight came back
to his eyes, his deafness vanished, and
in less than a month he won race
and a purse of $25 with it. The plas-
ters, which will never come off, give
the animal a unique appearance and
will serve as blankets in the winter
I have testimonials to show that with
in an hour after the plaster has been
applied the wearer feels a mixture OF
energy and ambition thrilling all
through her or him. He or she wants
to do great things They cannot sit
still, but must be at work. Many OF
them have to be tied in their chairs
long enough to eat dinner.
A man in Iowa writes me that he
was so lazy that it nearly killed him
when he had to rock the cradle of his
infant for half an hour at time.
Within a week after wearing my plas-
ter he split 500 rails in one day and
then came home and licked a man
whom he had had grudge against for
forty years,
A woman in Michigan who hadn't
had energy enough to sweep the floor
or clean out the cOffeepOt for a long
number of years put on one of these
Dlasters to cure a coming deafness. 1t
not only knocked the deafness galley
west but infused such energy into hel
that in one day she used the broom uE
clear to the handle and secured the
coffeepot so vigorously that nothing
was left but the spout when she got
through
I could produce thousands more OF
such testimonials, but it seems useless