The Washington times., 1917-08-26
YOuNeverKnOW
What Will Happen
POrchParty

II being such a fine day, 1 just
Hho1gbt I'd run over to Aunt Sairy's and
snend the day, and / do declare / neve-
aid see such a place for company Of q
Sunday, In the first place Sarah's got
such a fine porch and the house being
right on the car line, it's an awful temp
tation for folks to run in all day long
of a Sunday.
II was perfectly all right until just
before dinner time and then it did seem
as though everyone in town knew what
tine Sarah had planned to have dinner,
and that she was going to have something
particularly nice, although none Of 'em
seemed to take into consideration that
being q hot day, she might not have pro
rided enough for the whole town. Al
though to do them all justice they each
one seemed to think they would be the
only ones there.
But manage she did, although don't
know how, but / always did say that
Aunt Sairy was heap better manager
than anyone else in the family, and some
how we got through that meal and every
body seemed to have enough, all except
Uncle Fred and Aunt Sairy. / noticed
they seemed to go kinder light on the
helpings.
Well, anyway, we got through, and
the women folks stayed and helped Sairy
to clean off the dishes and put the food
away, although she insisted she'd just
as soon let the dishes go, being as how
it was such hot day and everything.
Anyway, we finally got back on the
porch and the dinner crowd seemed to
have disappeared kinda fast after having
Col n1,ks Of nd
and we were setting quite comfortable
talking about old times for quite a little
spell when who should drop in but Aunt
Josie Mason, all done up In embroidered
linen and a bright green parasol she
had made herself, the dress, mean, Of
course, but why woman Of Aunt Josie's
age should get herself up in that fash
ion and neglect everything else to en-
broider little dudads all over a piece Of
liner that would look better plain is more
than l can see.
Aunt Josie has always enjoyed awful
poor health, so ! suppose that gives
her an excuse for setting around en-
broidering when she might be doing
something better such as doing up few
berries or making some preserves to help
tide over the winter. Well, Josie had no
sooner sat down and puffed about the
heat and the car being SO crowded and
some brute of a man walking all over
her clean, white shoes, although maybe
he wasn't so much to blame as the car
company for having the car so crowded
all the time, and she'd probably sue the
company or make trouble somehow, al
though Aunt Sairy said it would be
less trouble if she went home and cleaned
her shoes over again.
Well, anyway, as was saying, she'd
no sooner sat down than she began to
run on about her system being all out Of
order and Aunt Sairy said something
under her breath which sounded like:
What, again!-although / couldn't be
sure.
Aunt Josie was real happy years ago
until she discovered by some doctor tell
ing her SO, that she had a system and
since then she's acquired more intimate
knowledge about her own insides than
the doctor himself, and she knows all the
things she's had by their first name and
discusses them like she was a clinician's
assistant, and don't think anything about
st.
Well, as I was saying, Josie's insides
are always out of gear, and she's always
threatened with almost fatal things and
all her operations have been performed
Just in the nick Of time-and she would
always certainly have been dead in a :
week if the doctor hadn't intervened inst