davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

they like the life. II Cuba is going into
this war with the United States. il Is
a matter Of American as we'll as Cuban
safety that the Cuban Coast-line be prop
erly protected.
The present Cuban commission that
has just come to the United States will
attempt TO show the value OF this plan
10 the administration and Il seems al
most impossible for Cuba 20 take her
proper part in the war unless she Il
able TO get funds. The government is
particularly anxious that Il not be forced
TO borrow. from private American bank
ers. who might ask an interest rate high
er than that demanded by the American
people"
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
The Herald's Open Forum

verse or hear conversation This Of
course is during the summer months I
finally had TO change my bedroom 10 the
oack OF the house. Do you not think
the parents OF such children need train
ingF II i were man I might use strong
language
could write volumes In defense Of
poor pussy but IL is unnecessary 10 say
more except 70 protest against the Ger
manic methods OF determination. Could
ahNthing be more cruel than poison. the
trap. and asphyxiatinE gasg'' YET theas
are the means 20 be employed by the hu-
name Mothers" have spent some
very unhappy hours since read in your
paper what was In store for the help
less little animals that I love Can you
not say word OF protest? You are al
ways on the right side
ONE OF YOUR FIRST suBscRIBERs'
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Interesting Chats
From Hotel Lobbies

The State OF Washington is Just be-
ginning to get its share OF the war pros
perity that has been the rule in the East
since 1914" said Scott {. Bone. former
Washington newspaper editor, now reg
tstered at the Willard. Mr.. Bone is
editor of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
within the past year. Washington has
gone in heavily for shipbuilding. New
plants have sprung up at Takoma and
Seattle and the business is literally
booming The shipbuilding interests Of
the State are deeply interested in the
plan to build wooden ships to combat
the German submarine menace.
IF We can get the steel, We can turn
out all of these ships that the country
wants Washington has millions OF acres
Of timberland that are simply waiting
for the axe and shipbuilding is almost
certain to become the major industry
of the entire commonwealth.
'Out on the coast we haven't been
troubled with the serious paper short
age that Eastern newspa pers. have had
to meet Our paper is not as cheap as
/ il used to be but at the same time, were
so close to the source OF supply that
coast newspapers have practically not
suffered at all.
There is one thing that is particularly
noticeable in Washington these days-it
Is the enormous expansion Of the hotel
business. And / believe there still VIII
be a shortage OF accommodations when
this expansion has reached its present
limit"
"The people OF the United States have
got the wrong idea about the Cuban
army said Joseph V. Knight. repre-
sentative Of the Cuban government who
is now in Washington with Col Aurelto
LJeIis official and informal representa-
tive of the island republic.
People seem to think that because
Cuba Is comparatively small in size. her
entry into the world war is to be taken
as a Joke. As a matter OF fact, Cuba
can muster 5000 trained soldiers almost
on a moments notice and these men
could be ready for service in less than
! month.
They're the highest-paid soldiers I've
ever heard Of" continued Mr.. knight,
THE privates get as high as so and
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Learning from the Enemy.

When nation makes war cts ma
tional industry" il can do things far
beyond the reach of its enemies. The
world may have thought before this
detestable war-the American people
may have thought-that they knew a
little bit about organization. Ger
many today is proving how wrong
they were.
In this business of making every
man. woman, and child count in the
waging of war; the German simply is
in class by himself. Otherwise, of
course, he would have been engulfed
long ago. Literally, he is fighting
the whole world; and while the world
ultimately is going to smite him hip
and thigh, and, send him sprawling, it
is not quite ready to do it yet.
I As M. Viviani says, autocracy has
retreated into fortress of steel, and
the democratic nations must break
down that fortress before the war
will reach its finale. In paraphrasing
Lincoln's saying that the United
States could not exist "half slave and
half free" Mr.. Root recently said the
world was too small now to tolerate
both autocracy and democracy on its
surface. One must destroy the other,
for they cannot live together. For
its part, democracy Is willing to ad-
NIT that organized autocracy, with
its sinister threat against freedom,
has not been an unmixed evil-for
this war, despite all its tragedy and
woe, has been purifier of the spirit
and crucible of civilization, and has
brought the nations more closely to-
gether than century of peace would
ever bring them.
After the war, there will be only
one course before the German peo-
pie. They must enter the family of
democratic nations, throw aside their
pan German and superman folly,
work almost with the spirit of Cru
saders to restore their good name.
Any other course spells national sui
eide, for the Hohenzollerns must go.
There is no place for them in the
world that is to come.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

chap with wide wondering eyes hoped
out of liveried limousine and he had
on white kid gloves and carried a diminu-
tive cane. Not one of the boys molested
him. Back IN our town they might have
killed him.
NO red lemonade either. Think of that
And no street parade and the city boy
hasen't that feeling of loneliness at dusk
sitting on the back stoop when the circus
pulls up stakes and there is nothing to
look forward to.
Patriotism has affected the hooters in
the dansants. They are inventing mill
tary steps by the clicking of the heels
and the orchestras are changing from
the jazz bands of a few weeks ago to
military bands. The professional dancers
have discarded their diaphonous cos
TUNES for Miss Columbia outfits and at
the opportune times American flags are
waved and buglers make dents in the
atmosphere. The reigning song in vaude-
vile and dsnsant Is IF / Had Son For
Each Star in Old Glory, Uncle Sam, I'd
Give Them All to You" 1t never fails
to bring the diners to their feet and bring
several encores.
Just to make folks think, who do not
hho" me- tnaI m a regular guy / have
cable address which is "Oddmac." It
is neatly engraved on my stationery. The
other day Courtney Ryley Cooper, the
magazine writer, dropped me a line and
among other things said: by the way,
just taking the thing on an average, how
many cables do you ordinarily get in A
day addressed to Odomac?"
II wanted to be that arcastic I could
tell OF the hot summer day Cooper and
l walked away from the ostrich farm at
the Bronx Zoo. lie had taken of his
hat. One lady ostrich chased us six
blocks. She saw Ryley's head and though
I had filched one of her eggs.
Cooper is also becoming very spiritual
in his thought out in Denver He saws
he is wondering who will be the first
Fellow he looks up when he gets TO
heaven. friend OF his is crazy to get
acquainted with Noah, but Noah. he saws,
wouldn't appeal to him much as he hates
any kind Of sea stories. He intends to
give Old J. Caesar a piece of his mind
as 1t seems he always gave him local
lied pain when he had to read his stun
in the public schools.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
PUSSY CAT DEFENDED.
"KiII a Cat" slogan should lie ''Train
Your Child" Declares Writer.

Your Child" Declares Writer.
Editor The Washington Herald:
think Il is the duty Of every lover OF
animals to raise a voice OF protest
against the cruel crusade proposed by
the Mothers Congress against the hunt
ed and much maligned cat. Would not
the energies OF the mothers be better
directed in training women to tral their
children to be useful in the wor d? A
nobler slogan than Kill a eat f your
country would be Train your child TO
work for and defend your country when
necessary" II they had been so trained
We would not now have so much diff
Guilty in finding men to come TO their
country's aid in the hour Of her neces-
sity.
have lived in the city many yearS but
I have never been kept awake by the
noise OF cats. But I can truly say that
I have spent many sleepless hours be-
cause the children in the street were
permitted TO shout and yell sometimes
until after midnight. when they should
have been sleeping the sleep Of innocent
childhood. / cannot sit on my front
porch in the evening because the children
make such a noise that one cannot con-
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
New York, Day by Day
BY o. o. MCINTYRE.

sp.cial Correspondent Of The Washington Herald.
New York, April 29.-Circus day in the
Metropolis! Years cannot dispel the feel
of springtime when the Greatest Show
on the Whole Goshdinged Earth comes
to town to make good the fiamboyant
boasts of the Autographs. Back in the
old days 1 used to dig weeds in the gar
den for two days for circus money and
then be first at the depot when the
trains pulled in. ..
We boys used to scurry through the al
leys and back lots ands up through
Shantytown to beat the hated gang from
'over the creek" In New York the boys
scurry across asphalt beaded with blobs
of oil and reeking with the fumes from
devil wagon exhausts. lodging skid
chains and, oncoming hoods.
But when they arrive at Madison
Square Garden the affect to them is just
the same, perhaps. There are the horses
satin necks arched proudly. pointed ears
twitching coquettishly. shiny tanks glis-
tening with white names and tails spill
ing into a billowy fuffness.
1t is all a wild mad thrill even IL there
is no smell of earth. The hippo yawns.
The elephants swing from side to side.
The tigers blink behind the bars. The
sword swailower swallows. The laughing
hyena holds its side with merriment. Zip
and the Princess Wee Wee are on the
Job. So is the tattoed man and Fiji the
one-legged camel-chained and shackeled
since birth boys-and the India rubber
man with the twelve-foot whiskers.
But thesman from the small town some
how looks with a plying eye on these
city youngsters. They are not barefoot.
They are cursed with Lord Fauntelroy
suits and one little anaemic. white faced
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Patriotism Of Vast Majority Favor,
selective Plan of AdmIaistratioB.

Editor Washington Herald: In the syrn-
postum OF opinion on the selective con-
scrlpuon measure proposed by the Presi-
cent, IN today's Herald, Grant Hanfl-
ton representing the American Federa-
uon OF Labor says: American labor
stands solidly against conscrfption."
In this expression, Mr.. Hamilton re-
hects the conclusion OF a portion OF Ia
Dor ofhcialdom, but is far and awav.
IN my opinion, from the patriotic con-
Viction Of vast majority OF working
men. who realize that they can live
their lives OF hope only n this land OF
liberty lives its life OF promise. This is
not the first time labor officials. with
their heads in the sand Of self-nade
opinion. have failed TO vision the high
purposes and noble ideals Of these sam.
men OF labor they try to lead.
Conscripuon-drst that term: its flower
would smell some sweeter by any other
name-is truly democratic. touching
nearly all equally. selecting with ap-
proNtmate Justice the physical forces and
economic energies required in this crisis
10 preserve our present civilization and
future development along lines dictated
by democratic aspirations II should be
and will be adopted-SocialistS, slackers.
and subterfugists Notwithstanding
As a vage-esrner and lifelong Labor
advocate, please place my opinion IN on
position to that Of Mr.. Hamilton.
FRANK A KIDD
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Today's Events

Addnss by Cbsrles sumner Hill bsfurr Woman
NaEe EarDers Association. ~ 7 strUCt uuTthwe-,
y.
Addre.s b. X. Martin wiIlarns oslorsd b-nneh.
Y. NJ q. A. Isl6 Twelfth strelt northwest q r. N
Lecture. Gods PUTuse m Creatiun." b. PruS.
William L. WSshiugnn. Zu0 R1Ttis Church q
street hetwren Third and -Four and a half strrsta
southwest. p
TSelfth En0usl church s-rra0r society o. ColoriaI
Dsu,s. St Marks OuSch. nnrd and A srests
Lecture. "H,iiA and the War" by rrCt GeouTs
?. En0ch. Polls o. M.
Netug. Washington Secular League. PytliEn
Temple. p m.
Mis- Mar ID HnfklnS sufrzEr h0adquartaTE -
Rhode Island avenue. 10 2. m
Ify-Uut' dsdute uf sOCiety m Young Msn's
Hebrew Asso-atian a. L. " X A. Home ~
Teutb stIeet northwest n N.
Abzrn0ol tea. National Amman Woman Sd
frage Ass1CiEtlDl l6-b Rhode Island avenue norLk-
west 4s306 D. m
Lecture. ''Enanciiutloa ~ the human Rae"
by 7. L RrECr. Asss.1teI Bibie STUDENT I'd
M5sonis Temple, p. T.
AGdress. ''Ihr BrCsth nf I4re" By Dr Rney n.
Moore. Washington Secular LsSsne PythiEn Ten
pie. p. m,
DrU ot u.smbsrs q Naa.usI Capital Mnrzr5
ColleEr, White House Ellipse, 2 2. m.
Iyecture. ''IIhr Pubic SchoolS" ~ Prot W r
Patterson. lfb7al Rciig'oUs Juisu. An s1lis
Leisure. What the Ri5e s,,, Ab1u, sslsr,iv,
Draft" by r. q. AleHEnder. Pclis. p m.
Annual cnlrprtiou a Hob Name Sorietv 81
DOusinie's % tho,ic Chrrch.
AMUSEMENTS
B. =. Keith'sA Vaudeville 2l5 and ssi5 D. N
Gaycty-B -BurlCslus ::i5 ard sl5 D. m
mos-NaudcyiIle fes5o 10 n:p Z. N.
Loev's Colmni,ia a-PhCt p'sys 10 n o n
strand-Photosizys 10 n D. m.
Gardm-PhOt1Pisys. 70 n p N.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

Sidney Drew, moving picture star,
offered to give $500 outright and $40
a week during the war to the first
mother who would give her able
bodied son to the colors John Pur-
YES, of "a Bergen street. Brooklyn,
promptly accepted the offer for his
mother, of whom he is the sole sup
port We admire the Drew patriot
ism, but it is doubtful that many
others will follow it.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

The hero of San Juan Hill was
turned down coldly by the House in
the rejection of the amendment OF
Representative Austin that would
have permitted "T. R." to raise a
division. Nevertheless the country
regardless of politics, admires the
patriotic motive that prompted his
offer to lead the colors to the French
trenches.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

If, as reported from Missoula, Mon,
Representative Jeanette Rankin wired
to her constituents, 81 have heard OF
no one in the House who is support,
ing the Presidents conscription bill
Do you want me 70 stand alone?
we must express a belief that she
has no. been an intent follower oi
the debate in the Lower Branch the
past FIVE days.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Saying. of Zoo Inhabs.

Goat-''You can't get me. I'll butt in
anyway"
Hippo-"BeAuty is only skin deep"
Giraffe-"It's a case of neck and neck. y
Skunk-'Tm the sachet baby"
Tiger-"The lady Is inside"
Leopard-'Tve- got you spotted
Porcupine-"Don't get struck on me-"
Tortoise-"Pm never late for work"
sAnteIope-'T'H horn in
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
URGES ANOTHER HOLIDAY,
Would Have Columbus Day CeIe-
brated in District

Editor The Washington Herald. How
is it that October u. the date Of the dis
cOvery Of America by the indonitahle
Genoese, Christopher Columbus. is not
legal holiday in the District OF
Columbia?
Columbus Day has been made a LEGAL
holiday in most OF the States and I hope
The Washington Herald will call atten-
ton TO the matter so that Congress. At
its present session, may make the day
a legal holiday here.
I trust that the Knights OF Columbus
also will use their influence TO accomplish
this object, which should especially ap-
peal to them.
B. c GALLUP.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

JUST FOR A CHANGE.
II so you must some wight belabor
Let up bit upon your neighoor.
stop criticizing acts Of others,
Your sisters, Cousins. Aunts. and Broth
ers,
And for awhile-it will not hurt you,
And may produce some need of virtue
Just knock YOURSELF for things of sin
you
Are quite aware lie hid within you
Copyright lsIl
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

Berlin thinks that there is silver
lining in the cloud caused by "that
mastery retreat There may be
but it is an even money proposition
that it is German silver.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
OPPOSING CONSUMPTION.
Writer Believes Enthusiasm Would
BE Lacking.

Editor The Washington Herald: The
Herald inadvertently. no doubt, mis-, ated
my views as to conscriptiOn- said
7 was not in favor of compulsory u iver-
sal service for the reason that / do not
believe II necessary. but that this was
infinitely preferable to a selective draft
which is grossly unfair. To give my res-
sons would take more space than you
would wish to allow me. One OF these
did state that a conscripted soldier would
be an unwilling soldier and would never
serve with the enthusiasm Of one who
served Of his own free will.
H. Z. WARNER.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

The spring drive of the District
chapter of the American Red Cross
continues just as relentlessly as does
the drive of the allies against the
forces of Hindenburg.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

All signs point to the fact that
when the vote is taken in the House
on conscription, Speaker Champ
Clark, Majority Leader Kitchin, and
Uncle Joe Cannon will be leaders that
will not lead.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
WILL MPERsONATE LIBERTY

new feature which has been added
to the Burr Mcintosh program at the
National Theater today will be the sing
ing OF The Star Spangled Banner" b,
Mrs. Inez Seymour Milton. Mrs, Milton
viii wear costume representing the
Goddess of liberty.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

Speaker Champ Clark has started
his Ananias Club with distinguish
ed charter member in former Ambas-
sador James w. Gerard.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Sayings OF Famous People.

Gabe Harkin sez:
MY idea of greatness I'D be the fellow
who made two onions grow where only
one grew a'fore.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
EDITORIAL ATTRACTS.
Reader Interested in Comment on
Confederate Veterans.

Editor The Washington Herald: / have
read with interest your editorial "A
Good Omen" All true Confederate
soldiers have been loyal to the United
States since the surrender Of Gen Robert
z. Lee. l was the first Confederate Of
ticer to decorate the Union soldlerE
graves which occurred in Boston In lS76.
Ever yours for the highest thought,
LEE CRANDALI.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Thing. Not Generally Known.

Horse chestnuts never wear brides.
There is bark on the dogwood tree.
Graphophones are great gossips. they
always repeat what other people say.
A stewed prune isn't necessarily intoxi-
Gated
A score in time saves the mine"
A man can have club feet without hav-
ing a wooden leg.
Gen. Joffre does not own a pet daschund
Dynamite is rarely used to start kitchen
fires.
Cinderella was not late because her
taxi broke down.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
GERMAN PLANT BLOWN UP

Amsterdam, April ga dispatch to
the Echo de Beige today reported violent
explosion In the region of Charleroi. II
is believed that German ammunition
plant blew up.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

The Bald spot.
John d. Wells is the author of this
one:
"a fool there was and he made his
prayer
Gwen as you and u
For a recipe that would grow some
hair;
The fool OWNED It would make him
fair
To have some thatch where his bean
was bare,
Gwen as you and l.
The fool guessed wrong as he often
does'
Gwen as you and u
He couldn't be handsome or fair be-
cause
AS long as his face was the face II
was
(And here Is the bitterest part to usO
Gwen as you and -
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Winter, Exit.

Doting old Winter,
The scandalous old rascal.
Holds in tottering embrace,
April, of the pouting face.
But shivering at the touch
OF Winters cold embraces,
April flies in disa rray
To the waiting arms OF May.
RUTH COBB.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Poor Investments.

The Kaiser is the punkest investment
Germania ever had the nerve to invest
in. Dividends in the shape OF a bucket
OF blood and a few bread cards. over
head charges have eaten up the profits
of fifty years of hard work. Now the
stockholders are advised to eat less and
fight more. What Germany needs is less
efficiency, less Kaiser, more culture, and
a new general manager.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
What the Farmer. Are Not Doins

what the Farmers Are Not Doing.
Milking the coWpeas.
Sugaring the corn.
Sduashing the pumpkins.
Bugging the potatoes.
Watering the melons.
Warting the cucumbers
Strlnging the beans.
Heading on the caboages.
Boarding the oats.
Gabe Harkin sez: Isl fuckers pet
daschund took French leave one day last
week.
Just becus a gals built like a bean pole
Is no sign thet she's a clinging vine"
Kill a cat is all right. But-You
can't lasso 'em. you amt allowed to
shoot 'em. and they're too smart for
traps. Suffering cats. how are you goin'
to do It.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
why the Editor Sold Out.

Rrom the ssugatuek Commercial Record
Jay Myers informs US he will sell
milk this summer. as Mr.. Charles will
not be here to sell clean milk.
(Frum a later iSsue)
Mr.. Goshorn, who has bought the
Commercial Record, is a man OF wide
experience in the newspaper business.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Rather Chippy.

The lumbermen are mobilizing to aid
the nation. Now watch the chips ny.
woodn't It be fine IL everybody planked
down like that. Get aboard boys, get
aboard. We hope there are no wooden
heads in the lot.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
With St. Elizabeth. So Near.

The wise one stood watching the traf-
hc cop who directs the fiag-bedecked
divers at Fifteenth and New York. After
q few moments of profound investiga-
lion he discovered the spot light on the
top of a nearby building that was IL
Eliminating the floor OF the street where
the cop stood. as he waved his hands
like a Holland windmill, but there was
something else mysterious about the
whole AFFAIR that puzzled the wise one.
After a while he was seen to approach
and seriously ask said cop;
II have found the electric light Mister
on top o. that building yonder. but
where is the electric fan that is making
that flag wave on the top OF your Coco
sign" G. w. S.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29

T. r. has done a lot of barking. but he
also bit the other day. At least his
namesake did. 1t knocked the stovepipe
plum often a German tin FISH. Encore,
encore.
THE SKIPPER
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
ALNE o. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR.

rnt priahns q an or1rnai poem. written fslu
Cor rAs washington Herald
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
The Bald spot.

sign in washington bookstore.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
N ImpoIite Pig, Certainly.

Mrs. Dare Hull met with a serious ac-
cident Sunday evening while out milk
ing. A hog scared the COW over her
and then stepped on her foot.-Spitquick
Valley Co, Red Key, Ind, Times.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Gabe HarLin Sent

"Th' hard coal miners ez after more
pay. Ennything to make it hard fer us
10 buy hard coal"
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
wbiskers, Whiskers, Whose Got
the whiskers.

Two boys famous for their whiskers
are birds of the same foliage. Carranza
and the Kaiser seem to be afflicted with
the same disease. The Kaiser pulls a
wire in wilhelmstrasse and old Carranza
across the pond answers. Very soon they
are both scheduled for a good shave.
Won Tirpitz is another bewhiskered ga
loot whose mental processes are as hard
to understand. Gott strafe those whis-
kers.
These British and French are getting
very offensive. II they keep on they
will be impolite enough to knock at the
Kaiser's front door. And then-Wil-
helms obit.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
Iusr FoR A cHANGE.

NJ John Kendriek Bang.
The Washington herald., 1917-04-29
LABOR FAVoRs CONSUMPTION.

W. NJ HAUsroN.