The Butler weekly times., 1917-04-26
SUNBEAMS

penser of home and other news
published in your county, but,
how do you know it is the best
I'll tell you. If there be any
rules, aside from. personal taste,
for determining the quality of a
thing, l don't know what it is. 1t
is sufficient to say that you know
nothing of the writing game, but
you do know what you like. You
like to read the editorials. You
like to know who's who and why.
You like to read the news of the
week. Your ability to judge a
paper is like your ability to judge
a good horse or beat your neigh
bor in trade. Part of it is born
with you and the rest of it you
picked up and then" "Sunbeams. y
Can you do without 'em? Are
they worth reading? Do they
teach you anything worth while
The more you read Of good things
the bigger you grow and the
broader your vision becomes of
the things that really count and
make life more worth livin'.
Last Sunday p. IN. the editor of
The Weekly Times and Mr.. Chas.
Mains called at my place. r. D.
said it was only a pleasure ride
and that he only stopped to say
Hello, but before he left for
home l gathered from his petty
inuendos and insinuations that if
l would discontinue my column
he would feel relieved. Finally I
got sore and said to him, "Do you
want to go out of business7"
Meanin'," " said he. "This, !" said
i, eff you don't want to fill your
contract of lcttin' me write for
fun and pay postage l will quit
and" further comment is un-
necessary, he said keep it up. He
wants Sunbeams.
A fellow said to me "tother"
day, what would you do in case of
war; l just said to him, says l.,
II don't know, l never know till
I'm doin' it. One thing I'm like
ly to do is to follow the advice
of Uncle Sam and keep my mouth
shut. don't have any time to
ask foolish questions and have
less time than shat to answer
'em.' Rather pointed talk, eh?
Also effective.
One thousand Commanche In
dians have offered to go to war.
Hi-yi-yip-yi, me for the Indian
style. All the equipment we will
need will be some war paint, a
pony, pair Of spurs, a red neck
tie and a scalping knife and $3.50
bounty for German scalps. Here
is a chance for me to demonstrate
the efficiency of a hair raiser of
which | wrote you some moons
ago.
A friend of "me,' a sentiment
al cuss, had a sweetheart. He
wanted to send her some poetry.
Her first name was June. Know
ing that l was pos, naturally he
came to me as Il write for fun.
This is the way it read, listen:
Out in the garden, 0 June, o
June, the cabbage is bloomin by
the light of the moon. The pigs
will be goin' to bed purity"
soon and will go with 'em, good
night, my June. And do you
know he never asked me again.
Zowie.
A party came into my place
tonct" and said, I'm sore. / took
a slant at him, gave him the
once over and asked him who had
peeved him. He replied, you
don't get me. By golly, says I,
I'm glad l don't. Don't see how
j could use you. Then he ex-
planned. He was suffering from
corns. OF course I felt sorry and
told him I. knew Of only one toe
on which a corn wouldn 7 grow.
Tell me, says he, for heavens sake
tell me quick, what toe is iti
And ] answered, as / ducked for
the door, it is the mistletoe.
For full information about the
want I'd column OF The Weekly
Times, soon to be started, ask
Sunny Jim. He is authorized 70
solicit your business and explain
the system, rates, etc. Ask about
It,
They say It il - honorable 70
stay - home and rsise fo0d Tor
M k3myshn It i 70 70 n he