Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-07-25
AMIABLE PERSON
MOST POPULAR
Comfortable, Likeable Indivi-
dual Is Most Fascinat-
ing
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX

For lasting popularity 1 would
back the amiable. comfortable, like
able individual against the most fas-
cinating charmer in the world.
Brilliancy and wit and magnetism
attract, but they do not hold unless
back of them lies a great deal of
ability. The eXacting, positive per-
son who demands a great deal from
his friends and who won't play un-
less he can be president" has a way
of losing friends almost as fast as he
makes them.
So, too, has the representative,
imaginative person who is always
looking for sights and who forces
MS friends into a constant state or
apoloSizing and explaining that they
never meant to hurt his feelings.
The man easy to get along with is
the sort who keeps his own word
and who makes allowances for other
people when they fail to live up to
their promises! He knows what ef-
fort 1t takes TO remember and carry
out the details of q promise and so
he allows for the circumstances and
conditions which may interfere with
other peoples performance even
while he is very punctilious about
making his own conform with his
plans and given work. And the same
with the women.
A lack of sense of humor gener-
ally makes people rather difficult"
as friends. They fail to share your
amusement and they lay stress on
the dignity and Importance of situ-
ations which ought to be taken with
certain amiable indifference.
4 tendency to suspicion is a very
hard thing to get on with. 1 know
an otherwise charming young wo-
man who makes herself and her
friends miserable through her failure
to trust them. Theoretically this
lack of faith in other people ought
to mean that she herself is not
worthy of faith and is judging other
people by herself.
But in this particular case, the
woman concerned is bitterly judging
all the world in terms of one friend
who failed her cruelty once upon a
time. And she is making herself
and everybody around her miserable
by doubling everyone and by being
always ready to believe that she is
going to meet with an utter lack OF
honesty or fair treatment.
Demanding love as right is an
other particularly difficult phase for
friendship to meet. When liking and
loyalty are honestly given, they
ought to be cherished and appreci-
ated beyond words. But to demand
them or to expect that they can be
given in return for the demand is
absurd.
The person who whines. You
don't care for me as much as you
used to. I'm not necessary to you
any more. I don't mean as much
to you as you mean to me" is sure to
bring about the state against which
the complaints are registered. Either
the whining attitude actually rebuffs
love or the power of suggestion de-
noy and irritate.
To be easy to get on with means
to be eXacting with yourself and not
with others, to take all sorts of situ-
ations with the utmost good nature, tc
sympathize with other peoples diff
culties and not to bore them with q
long recital of your own, to want the
best enough to refuse anything else
and to have enough sense of youl
own dignity to refuse to have liber-
ties taken with it. The sympathetic
understanding soul who is never a
parasite and who contributes a
bright, interesting personality is gen.
orally far more loved, far more
sought after in any gathering than
is the brittle and brilliant or the
beautiful and self-satisied individual
In flying madly across country af-
ter an elusive will o. the wisp or in
tearing up wild precipices after
some over-stimulating and over-eN-
acting big personality, there is moth
ing but wearying struggle. That is
only one degree less difficult and un-
satisfactory than galloping downhlll
after a waster and prohigate.
1t is in the comfortable, broad
fields and the shady paths along the
rivulet and the easy ascents among
the foothills that the average man
walks most happily.
So the man or woman who can
join his friends in the walks of
everyday life and add color and zest
and peace to them is the man or
woman whose ompanionship is
pleasing and comfortable and CRATE
full.