The Washington herald., 1917-09-15
RUDOLPH
PERKINS
Doc Won't he Did.

Doc Won't BE Did.
"Dis man. Jutch. he follow me all
abound, follow me up stleet, tell me
tex offa my glasses, he gone blakee
me mckee, follow me square and a
I halfee. Less scared o. him."
Thus spake Der Doc. pigtalless
keeper of a Ninth street chop suey
emporium, looking slantwise at Cecil
b. Chisolm, jitney driver. Cecil had
brought some hungry passengers TO
DOCS place and he went in after his
money. he had some words with Doc.
1t would never do. he thought, to
ride people around for nothing. There
was an argument. Doc walked out
on up the "stleet" he said, and Cecil
| threatened TO send him to join his
ancestors. Doc called a cop.
The cop said: What did de do Mr..
Doo." boo said: Him do enough,
plinch him."
'Alee light" said the cop, I'll do
that, and you do be kind enough to
come into court tomorrow. Doc did,
and because Cecil was not a bad man
he was released on his personal bonds
But first, he had to promise Judge
Pugh not to do Doc.
Al CIehne0 Sp ffue.
II a man only works in a small
store half a day, and swipes two
suits of clothes, how long would It
take him to bankrupt a department
store?
Al Eskridge worked for Cohen. the
tailor. He was hired to clean up the
place and started out very nicely. But
Cohen was unappreciative. He didn't
l h. \ LyA4 Ia n
afraid that some morning he might
| look around for his store and it would
| be gone.
He asked a cop TO watch the place
while he got a warrant. OF course
Al was innocent" He admitted II
to Judge Pugh. But the judge is so
terribly skeptical! He didn't believe
a word AL said evidently. Anyhow
he sent him to Occoquan for thirty
days.
Bow-wow-wow.
We had a little yarn a day or so
| ago about Jessie Hill and her two
kiyoodles. She had a return ticket.
! She is quite deaf. thank you. Prose-
cutor Hart has made so many
threats to send the barking canine
to the poundmaster, that he just
| had to get made when Jessie came
up in court for the same old Of
fense. that of disturbing the neigh
bors' sleep at night by letting the
dogs bark.
Judge Mullowny fined her $40 and
Jessie wanted to know IL she could
pay II on the installment plan.
Mix" said the court. you pay
that $40 now. and bring me a re-
ceipt from the poundmaster or else
you are in bad all around. It's go
ing to be an awful job for Jessie
to get rid of the two dogs. be-
cause she said, once before. that
che couldn't live without them, even
If other people couldn't live with
them. She'll be back again.
Can They he Corruptedf
"Ah was on nah way to whar All
wuz gwine last Tuesday mawnin',
Jedge, en- dis yere niger. he stops
him de dime, en- den he says, How
aboutcher' All. unstan' wot he
means en- All went wild him.
"All de time, Jedge. All thought.
he wuz a single man, but we had
no sooner got to whar we went,
den his wife Gums in en- blames it
all on me-"
So spake jamie Coates in explana-
tion of the story to the effect that
Tom Wolf had punched her in
the jaw and loosened some teeth.
jamie said Tom had corrupted
her husbands morals by taking him
to another woman's house. He said
her own husband was to blame. She
came in ION the bunch" Tom de-
clared. smacked her husband up be-
side the wall and then went after
Tom. who decided he ought to de-
fend himself. So he put her to
sleep with an uppercut.
jamie doesn't yet understand that
her hubby was to blame. Tom
doesn't either. because the court
told him n would cost him fen