The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-09-25
TWAS So Sudden.

Never again will Dorothy Jackson
go Into dark parlor with her sweet
heart She said so. An awful expert
ence befell her Sunday night, Albert
Brown called TO see her as usual and
they sent the folks out to the picture
snow. They stood In the doorway for
rev minutes and Albert begged SO
hard for kiss that they both went
inside The shades were pulled down
IN the parlor and there was no oil in
the lamp.
illumination has gone out OF style
with the modern maid and her lover.
They tiptoed into the gloom, all uuiy-
erlng with excitement. All of a sud
den Dorothy screamed Albert asked
what was the matter. He soon found
out. = man who roomed in the house
had gotten his head full OF gin and
gone into the parlor to sleep II off.
The two lovers sat down on top of
him. Joseph Murray. the soused
party. got up very quickly and plant
ed his fist in Alberts face. The sofa
was demolished. Joseph was arrested.
He has been put out of the house and
fined $40 in the bargain.
Time Is Money.
Tick, tick tick said the little dollar
clock on Mamie Wilson's mantel. 1t
has been doing that for a long time
without getting paid for 1t. All OF a
sudden someone pouneed on 1t and II
licked no more. The time had passed
away. But It didn't so on a strike
until Moses Childs swiped 1t. Time
was money with Moses, and he need
ed some coin very badly. He had
called to see Mamie to borrow a
nickel. Mamie wasn't home. So he
stole her time. He sneaked out OF
the house as IL he had swiped the
liberty loan. Someone saw him.
They noted what time they saw him
go out with Nannie's time. A cop
came by shortly afterwards. Mamie
found time to tell him all about II.
He hunted up Moses. His lights went
out when he found that he must DO
time. He spent a long time in cell
and Judge Pugh sent him down 10
snend some thirty days at Occoguan'
He'll have plenty of time to thihk II
over.
Jim Is I'm Again.
Some one owed Jim Herbert some
money. They were so slow IN pay
ING that IL got on Jim's nerves. ne
works IN a stable and therefore Is
more experienced in dealing with ami
mails than human beings. When jim
GOT sick. his boss locked him, but
when a horse got sick. they sent Tor
n veterinarian. Hence the difference.
He was at work last Saturday when
a man named Bean walked In the
stable.
Mr.. Bean didn't owe Jim the money.
That made no difference to Jim. lie
beaned Mr.. Bean with stone. He
Just felt like he had to hit some one.
He threw several stones and hit one
of the innocent horses. Mr.. Bean
had him arrested. OF course. Jim
said he was innocent. No one ever
does any thing to get locked up. The
COPS do it just for exercise. They
are deathly afraid of getting rusty.
Jim couldn't explain his actions, and
neither could Mr.. Bean. Judge Pugh
gave him thirty days TO get over the
stone-throwing habit
George Did II.
George Meredith has corns on his
feet. That is what he told the court
in explanation Of his carrying a razor.
Most everybody has corns, but few
people go around with such weapons
in their pockets. No one knew that
George had a razor until he got into
a fight Sunday morning. Then every
body knew it.
1t was a free-for-all fight. Anyone
who could fight need not stand
around and wait to be invited, Just
pitch in and help themselves or the
other fellow. George did that little
trick and as the fight got warm the
razor slipped out of his pocket.
Drat the luck. a cop saw 1t. He
arrested George. Rather than see an
operation performed by some one get
ting hold of the razor. the bunch was
locked up George told the court that
he had just bought the razor for g
cents. No one would believe him
and he was fined so with an alterna-
tive OF thirty days.
Just Imagine.
Every once In awhile a big load
Of watermelons comes in at the wharf
Then colored men come along and
what they don't eat they haul away
and sell to other people. Just as in
contemplating time. a load of water
melons creates n lot of happiness for
the boys who pitch them off the boat
into the wagons. While this is al
going on, the District government has
a man collecting a small tax known