South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1917-07-15

I cahlpudi Dll OF huuoI into our ut-
ing which serves to stir our ennui.
1 The greatest happening OF the
week next To Bryan's address. was a
birthday celebration which was
trcsted by the Plymouth Democrat
as follows. Yesterday was Gene
MarshalIs birthday and ne cele-
brated the occasion by getting
shaved and putting on a clean shirt
lie was born down in Walnut town
ship and was the pride of his
mother"
So it would seem that Gene has
an annual birthday and that he
makes it an occasion for rejoicing
and the changing Of his shirt We
can understand one going unshaven
for 2 months, but TO change ones
linen only on ones b!rthday-well.
no wonder he was his mothers
pride if he could make his shirt last
that long.
The resorters around Twin lakes
were aroused from their reveries
during the week by a rumor that a
Of the twins. The story was brought
TO land by a South Bend merchant
who is usually particular as to the
brand he drinks. He was SO insist
ent on the subject that a posse was
organized and all the boats in the
I neighborhood Communicated. After
each Of the party was given a gun
the home guard departed on its sub
hunt. When in the center of the
lake a periscope was sighted It
pose slowly out of the water until at
/ least six feet of il were visible. Dan
! Jacoby. Plymouth's agile marshal,
was the first TO pull the trigger. The
gun hadn't been used since the days
! of the Civil war and of necessity
| took some time TO get into action.
\ The first shot barely missed the OBJ
! ject by half a mile. BY some pc
culiar turn OF the wrist the mar
shall put the next shot through the
scOw which Immediately began To
\ FIJI. The entire hotilla vas summed
/ by wireless and Dan al i his mess
mates rescued from watery grave.
/ In the meantime the perisCOpe drew
nearer to the mosquito fleet so near
1
in fact that every detail of its char
acter could be noted. 1t was alive,
IL had eyes as big as an ice cream
saucer and it was covered with
long hairy coat of sea weed visibly
unkempt. 1t looked so miserably de-
iected that no one had the heart to
shoot straight Every member of
the posse was paralized with fear
/ for the moment. After surveying
the occupants of the Twin lakes
/ fleet the periscope disappeared. Next
followed a free-for-all race to the
beach which was lined with anxious
and excited women glad to have
their loved ones in their arms again.
The strange apparitiOn is the talk
% the entire county. OF all the
theories advanced the one given
most credence is that the subma-
rine was sent TO the lake by the gov
eminent for the purpose of stimulat-
ing recruiting which is about as
brisk in Marshall as it is in st. JO-
seph county
one of the best things the South
Bend Chamber of Commerce ever
did was it's recent refusal to come TO
the aid OF its city ball team in or
dor to have it play out the season.
n IL very evident that the ball play
IS of the country fail 10 realize
that the United States is in the stress
OF war They will probably know
the country is awake when every
body is more concerned about lick
ing Germany than about the home
team winning the ball game.
You may think the mother of
nine children has entirely too many
from the standpoint OF propriety
but don't ever make the mistake of
telling her So unless YOU want 10
test ont her conversation powers.
From the way some or our re-
formers talk, they must be expecting
our soldiers 20 he so sanity that
they will wad their artillery with
Bible tracts.
Man is not only like a rooster in
the respect that he loves TO do all
the growing and strutting, but many
"a one rs also LOhHltI lAht al AAAt IL
spec. that he permits his wife 10
cluck and scratch for the children
from dawn 10 sunset 10 keep from
starving 10 death.
The latest Chinese regime will
have a body OF elder statesmen 10
advise the monarchy. Don't do IT
China 1t has been tried in many
of our own states and it turned out
disastrous.
There will be no Scotch picnic in
Mishawaka this summer. It's well.
There Will not be much frolic in the
American mind by next spring. ac-
Cording 10 indications.
We may be wrong about II. but
very likely civilization could not sur
vive such a disaster as the failure
OF Ty Cobb 10 play a game and fail
20 make a hit. and IL is anxiety
about this that makes enlistments
slow.
Now they tell Us that Mexico is
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