davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

that idea. The danger from that
source, he points out, is practically
negligible. Cleanliness in every direc-
ton is important, to be sure. But nose
and mouth are the gravest offenders
and on that account should be looked
after all the NOSE closely.
The Master Hotel Thief is renorted
captured In st. Louis. His methods how
ever, were similar to those of the gen
tleman burglar" who always reminds the
youthful reporter of "Raffles."
II X
During 1916 Chicago had murder
nearly every day in the year, which
probably accounts for the fact that the
coroner of Cook county is one of the
busiest men in the country.
II n
The Belgian who would rather starve or
die from exposure than work for Prus-
sian slave driver, shows a logged form
of heroism that isn't found in the
trenches.
The Union Pacific railway has barred
liquor on its entire system That will
make the trip from Chicago to Los An
geles seem twice as long to the tourist
with thirst.
Senator Works seems to think this
great and glorious country is going to the
demnition bow-wows. How few public
men retire from office in a happy frame
of mind!
any of the laws of the United States
which has given him shelter That Villa
family is getting to be a model of pro-
priety.
Motor car manufacturers say they are
looking forward to a great year. Fur
thermore, it is impossible to find gaso-
line dealer who is down in the mouth.
X X
Lawson said he would be in washing
ton before breakfast Monday morning
He needn't think Congress is going to
miss breakfast on his account.
X *
Villas campaign is growing more dig
nified every day. After awhile he will
be able to employ large number of
diplomats.
Colonel House will not go to Europe
just now, but he will continue to keep the
affairs of the nation securely under his
hat
A suicide is the sort of sequel to Phil
adelphia's latest murder mystery that
might have been expected.
4 y
AT any rate, peace broods over the city
hall, although it is not doing anything
like that in Europe.
The price Of whale meat has gone up
thus destroying the last hope of the ulti-
mate consumer.
President Wilson has taken to heart
the adage. ''1f at first you don't succeed,
try, try again"
Why doesn't some scientist Investigate
the mental processes of taxicab chauf-
feur?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
A BABooN ELoPMENT

A BABOON ELOFMENT
Peter MacQueen, in World Outlook for
January.
We camped for awhile in Africa with
Couth Coudenhove. a young Austrian
noble, Near his camp there was family
Of balloons. We fed them with bananas
every morning. They came at the same
hour. 9 o'clock each day. noticed a
quarrel between an old broken-handed
baboon and a young dude with fine fur.
The trouble was about fair young
baboon lady. The dude was always get
ting thrashed. At last the whole family
united and kicked him out Of the tribe.
Then he came down to our camp every
morning for 10 days, alone, an hour before
the rest Of the family. On the eleventh
day, however. he came, and behold, the
young lady was with him. She had
eloped with the dude.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

BEGINNING THE DAY--Lord. In
the old year j have failed many
times. 1 have failed through ignor-
ance, weakness, indifference ana
sin. But, o God, Thou canst make
failure into success. Thou canst
turn defeat into victory. Teach me
the lessons of the Old for the needs
OF the New. May old failures work
new courage and new dependence
upou INV God. Amen.--H. M. e.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

farmer will attempt to cultivate more
than five or six acres to the pillow
and he should not be satisfied with
less than a bale to the acre. That
would leave him free to give more at
tention to crop diversification, which
after all must be the future aim of
Alabama farmers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
A MASTERPIECE.

n mas
This apostrophe to water is suitable for
Iscrapbooks"
"A fine tribute, eh?''
Yes. 1t was written by a preacher
who never touched a drop of alcoholic
liquor in his life, but he could not have
been more surprised If he had been adj
dressing a large pitcher of ice water on
the morning after a New Year party"
BRIEF NoToRIETY.
ut is considered quite commonplace
nowadays to go around the world"
$50 it is. About the only way a globe
trotter can attract any attention is to do
something, either at home or abroad.
that will induce a large number of detec-
tives to follow him in his travels"
WEARING HER OUT.
Mrs. Dubwaite has been under a great
nervous strain for about six months"
That's too bad What's troubling
her?'
''some people moved in next door who
are evidently well to do, but to save her
life she can't find out where they get their
money"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
There is No HypheEa

I'm IA10WQ &1SWEgG . ANosAA3S
NTEWSPAPER readers have nc
IN doubt been struck by the fact
that in about half the publications OF
this country the name of David LLOYD
George, England's premier, is hyphen-
ated. About an equal number leave
out the hyphen-
There was lively dispute on both
sides of the water. Even the best au-
thorities disagreed. The British
aWho's Who" uses the hyphen in its
reference to Lloyd George. The con-
troversy has been settled now to the
satisfaction Of everyone concerned.
There is no hyphen in the premiers
name.
An inquisitive proofreader for the
New York Herald wrote to him and
received his Enthusiastically bold
signature in reply. A facsimile has
been reproduced in several American
newspapers.
Mr.. Lloyd George evidently uses a
pen that may be described as the
stfree running sort. It makes heavy,
black lines and for good measure be-
meath the I'D. Lloyd George there is
q stroke that looks like shillalah.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
Means Cleaner city

"The placing of about 100 rubbish
boxes about the streets of Birming-
ham should serve to make this clean
Ter city," said Commissioner George B.
Ward yesterday. II have received quite
a number of compliments for the COM
missioners for their action In distribute
ing these boxes about the city.
Some of my friends, rather ocular
ly, have suggested that they will make
excellent back scratchers, but 1 would
not recommend them for that use.
"Clean streets make a deep impress
sion upon the visitor to Birmingham,
and I hope that the citizens will CO.
operate by placing their scraps in the
little green boxes"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

! Dothan Eagle: The Kaiser is still busy
trying to get his brand of peace-made-
in-Germany on the market.
Huntsville Mercury: The vigorous pro-
test of the great religious organizations
OF the United States against quick
peace shows the impression the Ger
mans have created in the Christian world
by their manner of conducting the war
in Europe The churchmen in their pro-
test state that "a premature peace may
prove a curse instead of a blessing"
Mobile Register: Dancing Governor
Cats into office when he. as minister
of the gospel, is opposed to dancing, APP
pears social miscue rather startling in
its nature
Roanoke Leader: Those who are good
in mathematics might try their hands in
figuring out how long it will take the
allies to win the war at their present
rate of being whipped. Then there's the
case of the frog in the we'll that climbed
up one foot in the daytime and slipped
back two feet at night. How long will
it take him to get out?
Troy Herald: Texas is making sau-
pect to hear any time that food has
taken another jump.
Andalusia Star: We started the new
year right We trimmed an ingrown nail
and paid taxes and didn't develop a
crouch.
Selma Times: The automobile was in
vented 20 years ago, but the first one
that was turned out could not get into
polite automobile circles now.
Admission Star: And now New York
critic has called down a writer for quot
ing from Ibid" when the quotation
Ibid" has led more than one critic astray
and it would be just as bad If he used
his right name which is "Idem''
Guntersville Advertiser: Alabama needs
some changes in her banking laws and
the next legislature should lose no time
in providing them. There are entirely too
many bank failures in this state With
the proper protection for depostors, both
the people and banks would be benefited.
Honest bankers could not object to addi-
tional laws for more securely safeguard
ing the interests of their depositors.
Other states have laws so framed that
bank failures are rare occurrences. In
Oklahoma each bank Is responsible for
the other, and in case one bank fails the
others are held liable to the depositors
for any shortage that might occur. Mis-
ssslppi has a state law which holds the
stockholders of a bank liable for double
the amount of their stock in case of
failure. Such a law as either of these
states have would result in millions of
dollars now hidden being deposited in
Alabama banks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
AS EVER

From the Florida Times-Union.
Norway has put an embargo on the
export Of raw copper"
''oh. well ireland win continue to sup.
uIy the New York police force"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
OVERRIDING 1T.

Judge, I throw myself on the mercy
of the court" said the prisoner.
'TIum," replied his honor, 'Ill give you
the limit of the law. The next time you
throw yourself on anything you'd better
find out first whether it's hard or soft"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
INoPPoRTuNE.

"Do you subscribe to the theory that
there is something good in the worst Of
us?" asked the philosophical person
YES" replied the praucal man. but
don't propose to waste any of my time
trying to find out what 1t is when foot
pad pokes pistol in my face and tells
me to hand over my money"
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
COMING TO HIM

From the Atlanta Constitution.
The crown prince got paragraph the
other day. Know he'd get something. II
he kept sticking around verdn.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

FUNEHAI HTTES VF THE ItOSE
BY Robert Herrck
The rose was sick, and smiling died;
And, being to be sanctifier,
About the bed there signing stood
The sweet and flowery stStorhood
Some hung the head. Whilo some did
bring,
To wash her, water ffFi5 N7Sfings
Some laid her for sle atAegx apr,
But all q solemn shera Kept
The holy sisters. 7t7e
The sacred dirge sSxS
But, all! what Nv n'ief
1 AS Heaven had spes 49, !.
At last when pras rol the dead
And rites were asnltSheS
They. weeping a
And clos'd her 81 a '-=-''' IS $50
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
TEIL IT TO THE "wAR BRIDES

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
The south Il in the saddle and the
country IL ia hook.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
QUITE DAMP.

1.-THE Glithers baby threw bundle Of
stock into the fire yesterday morning"
what loss! 1t was destroyed. of
course?"
mo. Glithers bought the stock from
promoter. It was too full Of water to
burn"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A SOLEMN THOUGHT.

n SUIEMN THOUGHT,
With prices soaring to the skies
And salaries about the same,
The impecunious toiler tries
To make ends meet and play the game.
But now and then. in deep despair,
He wonders what fate has in store
If he must live on slender fare
Until his earthly journeys Ger.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

while in some respects the controversy
between the local civic bodies is to be
regretted, I believe that it will result in
ultimate good" said Stephen Wright, Gin
that in the wind-up members of the or
ganizations will be brought to realize that
ey have other responsibilities besides
mere membership. Too often are matters
of Importance left to the officers or to the
faithful few who give freely Of their time
to carry on the work of the organization.
No matter how faithful and efficient the
officers may be, it requires united effort
to accomplish things Worthwhile. If the
controversy awakens the dormant mem
bers of the organization to their civic
responsibilities, it will not have been in
vain"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
WHAT'S THE USE?

A light-hearted brother,
With hardly a care,
Who ventures out walking
To get some fresh air,
Escapes by two inches
From being run down
And the next time you see him
He's wearing a frown
And swearing profusely
At motor car folk
Who seem to consider
Pedestrians a joke.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
Local Teams strong

Basketball fans are looking forward
with much interest to the coming games
of the Birmingham Athletic club" said
Manager w. F. Enneking. 1.-THE club
has one of the best teams in its his
tory this season, and we want to go
through the entire season without g.
defeat being chalked against u.s.
I'VE started the season with a victory
last Monday night. We defeated the
strong Vanderbilt university aggrega-
ton by a neat score. Our next game is
with the Marion institute on January
10, which promises to be good game.
The cadets never defeat us, but at the
same time we have tough fight.
Our biggest game of the season is
with the Atlanta Athletic club. We play
them in Atlanta on January 81 and
have return game here early in Feb
ruary. This basketball game can easily
be termed the classic of the south.
The championship fight has always
been between Birmingham and Atlanta.
Last year we lost the title. but we are
certainly out for it strong this year"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
Higher Price for
Cotton i'm Sight

T7THE bankers are right in advising
4 the farmers who have cotton on
hand to hold It until the price recov-
ers. There is good reason for believ-
ing that the staple will soon be in de-
mand again at 20 cents or more. Be-
fore spring the price will probably
climb to rs cents.
It is estimated that cotton now held
by farmers, merchants and dealers
will not total more than 20 per cent
of the crop; but this is enough to make
further holding well worth while. The
producer was getting something like
20 cents before the slump came, and
all that is needed now is a little pa
thence to do even better in the matter
of price.
Alabama used to produce about one
tenth of the entire yield of this coun-
try. But owing to the floods and the
boil weevil this production was re-
duced one-half or more. Yet the
farmer who was fortunate enough to
save considerable part of his crop
Is better off than he was in normal
seasons when the price was under II
cents.
OF the 20 per cent of the crop un-
marketed the Alabama farmer prob
baby holds Is per cent of his pro-
duction. The estimate for this states
total is around $4,000 bales. Fifteen
per cent of this would be $4,000 bales,
and the difference between the sell
ing price today and the price reasona-
bly, expected few weeks hence would
amount to $40 or $25 bale-approx-
imately 100000 as the result OF
holding on little longer. When the
price reaches 70 cents not much cot
ton will be found on the farm, per-
haps, and the producer who is holding
. remnant can easily carry it indefi-
nitely. 1t would be folly, therefore, fol
him to sacrifice any of his cotton al
present prices.
The farmers are now beginning t.
figure on next springs planting. The
acreage will be no greater than it was
last year. In Alabama it may be anc
should be even less. There has beer
IN exodus Of negro labor from the
7gtton belt, and that fact alone woule
compel more than ever the intensive
plan of culture. No progressive
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
strengthened in Rirmingham

With the addition Of DR.. Preston B..
Wells at the Highlands Methodist church
and Dr. George r. Stuart at the First
Methodist church. it seems to me that
Methodism in Birmingham has been con-
siderably strengthened" said Nathan L..
Miller yesterday.
Or Wells. the pastor of the High
lands church, is to my way of thinking an
able man. fearless and courageous; he is
a. fine scholar and those who heard his
sermon last Sunday on Sin heard one of
the biggest sermons ever preached in Biz
mingham. L believe if DR.. Wells remains
with us four years, the membership
of the Highlands Methodist church will
be increased to at least 1000 and that his
ministry will be d notable one"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
But, o vain boast!

Who can controul his fates
-OthelIo.
y y y
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

Admission Star: And now a New York
critic has called down a writer for quot
ing from Ibid" when the quotation
was from Shakespeare. That fellow
Ibid has led more than one critic astray
and it would be just as bad if he used
his right name which is "Idem.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06
ALABAMA PRESS

trying to get his brand of peace-made-
in-Germany on the market.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

"a disease breeder, but he repudiates
that idea. The danger from that
source, he points out, is practically
negligible. Cleanliness in every direc-
ton is important, to be sure. But nose
and mouth are the gravest offenders
and on that account should be looked
after all the NOSE closely.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

Bell (private exchange connecting All
departments( Main 490Os
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-01-06

Selma Times: The automobile was in
vented 20 years ago, but the first one
that was turned out could not get into
polite automobile circles now
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1917-01-31
Seek cool air, for it is more slim

peek COOL ar I0F IL is more SClul-
ulating.
One can practice deep breathing
while walking, in the open simply by
inhaling with a shoulder movement.
With arms hanging at'the sides begin
to inhale slowly, raising or 'hunch-
ing" the shoulders until they are as
high as they will go and the lungs
full of air. Then exhale while the
shoulders are slowly lowered again.
This is excellent while walking in the
park or an open place.
If forced to walk in dusty, dirty
street, DON'T breathe deep. l
breathing for Beauty will be ex-
planned in DR.. Bishops article in The
Day Book tomorrow)
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1917-01-31
TABLES


The table proper is a piece of din
ing room furniture supported by
hand-carved legs and fathers pock-
etbook. It is the family table, or ia
BILE that the family sit at
The cafe table is contra-distin-
guished from the family table by it's
diversity of uses. The cafe table is
sometimes sat at, often sat on, and
not infreqUently sat under, depend
ing upon the ebriate condition OF the
setees.
Then we have the round-table.
The round-table is what government
officials sit at when they don't want
to be on the square. The only other
species of round table is the one of
which you get square meal DIS
cents.
Tables also are what we turn Oh
folks to show them they're not so
smart as they think they are.
That leaves the time table The
time table is an instrument of torture
designed to keep you from finding
out when your train goes.
$1,000
New York learns the Alaska
Queen" whom it feted- for two weeks
is really servant girl from Kansas
City. And still New York, picked for
the boob a hundred times, wonders
why the balance Of power has passed
TO the south and west
Evening journal., 1917-08-29
When Can You Best Come Out
With Us to Minquadale?

mue o
81
homhe madn
will
when and where PICK
and
it the making
ualeNat a sur o IN IS
Evening journal., 1917-08-29
The Great Plan

control remarkably
made No been let the inside You and alone
in described
given with every lot The title will be perfect and even the taxes will be paid You
hold
M increase in value You can in in family groups and get much 10000
There telling how much this land will jump value when people begin
walked find themselves rich because
We that naturally beautiful suburb
than this development of high and dry rolling land laid
Shrubbery woodland
through the property Nothing lacking from Natures gifts make ideal
for homes
Evening journal., 1917-08-29

Real Estate Dept.
Gentlemen:
l enclose herewith $1.00,
for which please reserve for
me a choice lot at MINQUA-
DALE. In consideration of
your reserving this lot for me,
! agree to subscribe. to the
EVENING JOURNAL for six
six months, payable monthly
at your rates.
NAME ...'...............-.......
ADDRESS .........................
CITY ~.~.-..................--.-.-.
Evening journal., 1917-08-29
Come to This Office and Arrange to
Go Out as Our Guest

eand o
in il in
and land but holds forth
o that
Of
in
do
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1917-02-15

Jezusa Chrystusa tax zrozumiec /;
re latwiej taxa line przeciagnac
przez. uszko cd Ugly, anizeli boga
czowi wnijsc do kr6lestwa niebies
kiego. Wszakze i W naszym jezy-
ku wyraz trad jest owad i ozna-
cza chorobe, i many wiele innych
.takich wyraz6w Z podw6jncm INA
czeniem. Badzcie vice zupelnie
spokojni bracia, tax bogaty jak
ubogi NIGGA bye zbawionymi, ale
czego ostatni czestokroc samem
Itylko cierpieniem sic dobije, to
tamten pokora i drobnemi uczyn.
kami wysfugiwac musi.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1917-02-15
$500 ma ksztalcenie ma
ksie1yM odych Ne
grow W. Atryce.

w tych dniach otrzyma} Wiel.
KS. J. P. Donovan, c. NJ, g46wny
kierownik Sodalicyi Sw. Piotra
iKlawera Ola, Misyi Afrykanskich
przekaz pocztowy ma $500, ma
ksztalcenie m1odych ksiezy W At
|rycc. Ofiarodawca jest j. G. Coed
ken 2 Dyersville, Ia. Przekaz pocz
towy przyszed{ W liscie cd p. r.
A. Gerken, bratanka:, ofiarodawcy
i studenta Konrick Seminaryum
w St. Louis, Mo-
Paistwo Gocdken maja szesc
c6rek i jedna wnuczke W zakonie
Franciszkanek. Welding zyczenia
$1,000, - da sic ma procent z kt6-
rcgo utrzyma pc wszystkie easy
studenta W Afryce, uczacego sic
Ia Ksiedza. $500, zas przeznacza
sic ma jakabadz potrzebe insignia
W. Afryce. Dotad najwieksza ofia
"a ma Gel misyi Afrykanskiej o.
pr6cz ostatniej. przyszla re St.
Louis, wynosila $500.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1917-02-15

Kazde stopniowanie krzyzowe
w ca}ych Stanach Zjcdnoczonych
bedzie ubczpieczone teraz przcz
kolej North : Western, ktora pier
VISA urzadza, uchwalony ma posic
dzeniu amerykanskich stowarzy-
szen kolejowych, odbytem w paz-
dzicrniku, system ostrzegajacy j
ochraniajacy ludzi cd nieszczescia
przejechania przez pociag.
Kolej Chicago North Western
reprezentowana byla przez w. j.
Towne, ~asystenta generalnego ma
.nazera. Odpowiednio z przyjeta
przcz komitety uchwala stowarzy
scenic przyjeto nastepujacc waz-
ne reformy:
1-Uzadzenic okrag}ej tablicy