Gilpin observer., 1917-12-20
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"A TRYING ORDEAL :
BY RAY svRNHAM.
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The big rufian tried to edge me to
one side, but held my place.
Everything gone but section elev-
en-" the ticket seller had said.
"I'll take lower berth eleven, then
]. B. Cole," 1 spoke quickly.
1t was there that the burly scoundrel
who had jostled me stepped on my
foot.
"Sort Of clumsy, aren't you" he
grunted. "Hey-upper elevenw
groaned. He gave me a stare. I
picked up my satchel and started for
the train. The thoughts Of having the
bunglesOme churl for q companion de-
pressed me.
He came stamping into the train Just
as had got comfortably disposed, fac
ing the front of the car.
"Sit over" he said, friendly enough,
and crowded me again the window.
Makes me sick to ride backwards"
The fellow was a giant and must
have weighed two hundred and eighty
pounds. To make it worse he was a
wrlggling, uneasy thing.
Hard work for me to sleep on a
train, as it is," he said. upper berth
yah! How will ever get up there"
"There is a ladder" observed
curtly.
"And it's narrow and shallow. Reck-
on I'll draw the curtain and sit up,
hey? Anyhow, till midnight-what
say7'
II think I'll take smoke" said,
and arose.
had to fairly Chamber over that
mountain of flesh. got over one knee
of the sprawled-out monster. There I
stuck. He had to help me over the
second knee. reached the smoking
compartment flustered. A perfect ci-
gar calmed and soothed me, once away
from that sprawling, lurching absurd
ity. l thought Of Isora, and life be-
came sweet again. I was going to
Springfield to marry Isora. The we'd
ding was to be the next afternoon.
"FOr IsOra's dear sake!" whispered
to myself. "i'll be humanitarian-aye,
charitable!" 1 went back to the sec
tion. took the other seat, smiled, l
tried to be jolly.
Look here" proposed to the bulky
bundle of humanity opposite me-,
don't you think you would be more
comfortable in the lower berth than
on the narrow upper one?"
Don't think it?" shouted my COM
panion. Don't 1 know it!'
swell, I will exchange with you," I
stated with impressive courtesy. ut
will be more comfortable"
"Huh!" grOwled he. 'More comfort
able-surest thing you know. Thun-
der!"
The upper berth was relief to me
as finally piled into it. l settled my
self down for sleep.
"Z-zz-zzz- proboscis
and throat gave out swanging, dis
tOrted mixture of nasal notes and gut
terals. Hour after hour / tossed to q
resonant snoring chorus.
When I clambered down from my
aerial perch it was broad daylight. I
had searched for my cigar case first
thing, cherishing my usual ante-break-
fast smoke, and could not discover 1t.
found the lower berth vacant, poked
around, did not come across the case,
and wondered If / had not left 1t in
the smoking compartment the evening
previous. Thither / went. Sprawled
In the biggest easy chair, complacent'y Y
putting at the last half Of a cigar, was
the human mammoth.
"YOurs?" he hailed, extending my
cigar case-empty! "Fancied so
found it on the car window. Rare
weeds-ought to know. I smoked all
three"
"Thanks!" I said sarcastically, and
pOcketed the case.
1t was raining when we reached
Springfield. That horrible giant was
at my side as l went to the edge of
the depot platform, where solitary
one-seated automobile stood. hailed
its driver.
'Take me to" And l gave num-
ber and street, designating the home
Of my f1ancee.
Hold on-that's my way, too r.
blundered In my evil genius.
"Room for one only" explained the
chauffeur.
Nonsense uttered the fog-horn
voice. II can crowd In between you,"
and l shrank and shuddered as he sat
half way over me. The machine start
ed up.
'This will do for me-" observed my
companion, as the automobile halted
in front Of the home of my beloved.
He picked up his satchel and pro-
ceded up the steps, leaving me to pay
the chauffeur. He rang the door bell.
As reached his side heard eager
tones beyond the portal. The door
opened-Isora.
"Oh Julian!" she cried, and >ias
about to throw her arms about me
when she observed my companion.
"Why, brother!" she exclaimed, II
thought you wasn't coming"