Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-03-26
BEST WAY TO HAVE
FRIEND IS Be ONE
This Is Answer to the Many
Queries Asking ''How to
Be Popular
BY Beatrice Fairfax

BY Beatrice Fairfax
What shall do to be liked rs write
boys and girls, men and women, babies
and grandparents
think the best way to have friend
is to be one. The best way to win
liking is to give it, and the truest love
one gets is in return for love given
freely and frankly.
Nothing you get up by subterfuge
or pretense is really good. Playing a
part, posing as other than you are, imi-
tating qualities which seem charming
in some one else, may win you tenn
porary favor. But to gain real regard,
liking that lasts, you have to get them
as tributes to your own nature.
All of us sell our personality as we
go through life. Now, a personality
worth considering is never plane sur
face; rather it is like well cut stone
flashing back light from many facets
and holding its own individual light
and color deep in it's heart
The essential view, the things that
make you an individual, remain un-
changed whether you are talking to a
poet or a preacher, dancer or painter,
banker or engineer-man or woman.
But you hardly would expect that by
turning to the poet the side of your
nature which takes an interest in the
construction of cement or the strength
of steel girderS to support a thousand
ton span you would interest him as
much as you might if you first investi-
gated the things he wanted to talk
about before forcing the discussion.
To be liked you have to put your
self in sympathetic touch with the per-
son whose liking you want. You cam
not expect every discussion to center
about your interests. Y You have to play
fair socially as we'll as morally.
If you are capable of real sympathy
and " lytAnxxr hnN To off
them without forcing them, you have
it in your power to win the beginnings
of liking. Don't be weak enough to
cater to people and tremble lest you
give them just what they want, but
be strong enough to fit your person
ality to theirs.
Don't expect too much of people If
you want them to like you. Making
demands on peoples time or energy,
being eXacting as to what they owe
you, compelling them to pay tribute,
| is selfish process at best and one
guaranteed to wear out the patience
of a saint.
The man or woman who can allow
his friends plenty of leeway, full free
dom to be individuals and yet is cap
able of demanding enough loyalty and
honesty to avoid being put in unfair
positions, gets as square a deal as he
gives.
TO be real friends with any one you
must have the Strengthening tie of
tastes shared. Find things to like out
side of your liking for each other and
you have added congeniality to the list
of qualities which draw you to each
other.
And if you want to be loved, avoid
as you would the plague itself all fool
ish, self centered, eXacting, wearying
| false pride!
Pride is the stumbling block OF
friendship. Have enough self-respect
so that you can take it for granted
that your friends would not deliberate
ly seek to slight you.
And when situations arise which
| look as if you had not been treated
squarely, be sufficiently big and broad
and generous to take for granted thai
you would not be neglected or hurt
and go calmly and quietly to seek the
explanation of what puzzles you.
ITO have a friend you must first be
one" To win love you must deserve it
And the warmth of regard which al
lows for little blunders and overlooks
unavoidable sights, YIELDS friendship
and liking into a strong chain of very
tender feelings.