New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-01-13
The Jitney Philosophers; or Nickel Platouism

III On Professionalism III Sport
THE PERSONS OF THE DIALOGUE: Socrates THE NARRATOR VI I'M
DIALOGUE; AND Sympadtnps A JoEwEBER go
Socrates-Whence come you, Sympademus, with your
M bs and your bag covered with plaid of the Lac&de-
Tonian clan: and what have you been dong Flayns
golf? NJ oeO Doom
S,mpadcnus-Foolish Interrogation No. 200. Deem
Won have been shaving my beard with THESE lmpie'e
No Svmpademus / do not. If l desire 10 kHo"
whittier wonder rireme is bound would l. 90 you oeic'e'
ask one of the oarsmen!
think YOU would.
And e I craved the knowledge as to who won game
Of baseball would not if had not seen the game ask
one who thought had observed 1t!
1t is highly conceivable .,.... $500.
We'll then. as l am DESTROYS to know whether you
nav, been playing golf put the question to YOU ana
n vor reverence dsntegrated by the comcK sculpture
of COdbergias thought to put the bee on me by your
query?
Indeed did, o Socrates.
Now nv object in asking you was this: You nave
been pavng golf and not conjecture for money? mat
vn have not received money because OF your prowess
at the drive or your delicacy at the putt!
Assuredy not.
What is your profession, Sympademus
am an insurance solicitor
Do Won solicit policies the lives OF men you Know
oron those of men you do not know?
On those Of men know and it is dlthcut enough loi
me 70 see those men, the men do not know tear up my
very card when it is sent in to them
And did Won ever write policy the life OF man
you played golf with? ,ooo
But yesterday Socrates, wrote ApolodoruS Z oOUo-
drachma 20-year endowment with annual dVloeiuS lHe
best policy, by Zeus, in all Hellas!
Then YOU are a professional, Sympademus
Nav / am an amateur, for do not make any money
selling golf supplies or giving instruction IN the game
But if YOU sold golf-cub what would your proht be
in that?
Oh perhaps an eikospentarion or two
And your commission 5OOO-drachma poilcy
That would be about 100 drachm8, not counting the
renewals
But if YOU sold the gofclub you would be profes-
sona whereas if you sold the policy to friend you had
made bv plavng golf you would be an amateur!
That is the notion, o Socrates
Now suppose we're player Of tennis, and had
store of balls and rackets and George Church bought
racket from me- what profit would make!
You would make one drachma, but you would be
professional.
And # oro an insurance solicitor and good player
of tennis too and were in the final set with George
Church and there was point might get might not say
to George. George if you give me ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
policy III fub the ball into the net
Indeed Won might Socrates, and not do II III such
bold, obvious manner, either
But if did that should remain an amateur!
Oh, indissolubly.
We'll tben Svrnadenlls il seems to me there is
vast amount of hypocrisy about the ethics OF sport and
the sport of ethics sport hold is as clean as the men
who play it and man cannot be prevented by rules from
making money out of his skill Does not TINS taik ABOUT
professionalism overcome you with lassltuoe
In addition to the WEAKNESS, Socrates II gives HE
shooting pain, localized and acute.
Then. Sympademus we are in accord. And no"
shall shoot YOU Is holes and if win you may write me
25OOdrachma policy, payable to Xanthippe
Tba does not know says Globe, chat six City Hall de-
tecbyes are standing guard over him now
lfle pa,rcaizes press-clppng bureau he may find out