The Washington herald., 1917-12-05
A True Fable.

And there was once an amateur
crapshooter. He thought he could
buck against the old timers and get
away with 1t. o
So this infant gamester chal-
lenged a bunch of expert bone
rollers. confident that he could have
them all eating out Of his hand be-
fore very long. .
AS a come-on he was allowed to
win at first. He couldn't see him
self going headlong into bank
ruptcy. but the others could.
AS the game wore on the tide
.urned. He began losing right and
left. The old timers had all four
ylinders working and the boob
,as soon skinned.
He lost $11. Then he followed
for mama. Twas nd use. They
wouldn't give him his money back.
lie was done for.
So he cooked up a scheme. He
told the cops that the old timers
, had held him up at the point of a
pistol and robbed him in the good
d-fashioned way.
The court wouldn't believe it and
Caspar Cook, the veteran bone
roller, was freed of a charge of
robbery preferred by Charles
Mitchell.
Just walking Into Trouble.
One evening last week Ruth May
nard found a wad of old newspa-
pers in her front yard. She simply
swore to herself and threw them
into the street.
The next evening when she came
from work she found another bun
die of old papers. She swore much
louder this time.
All that evening she had a crouch.
When her husband. Joe, came from
work she told him about 1t. He
threatened to break the neck Of the
one who did it If he caught him.
About o'clock Jessie Turner, who
lived next door. came in.
"Ah heerd somebuddy th'owed pa
per in yo' yard, Miss Ruth she
said.
Yes. chile" answered Ruth, mo-
Euddy knows anything bout it but
me en- you"
At this Jessie colored up quite
little (she was a lady of COLOR.
Does you mean ter insinjuate dat
All did it?" asked Jessie.
"Ah amt menshunin' no names at
ALL answered Ruth sarcasticalIy.
In minute the two women clinch-
ed. They carried ther fight to the
street. A cop got both. And the
workhouse will get both if they don't
come across with S fine apiece.
They Were Not in sassIety.
Alice Hunt and her beau, Tobey
Grant. had tickets to a dance. They
were not supposed to have these
tickets. The dance was for select
people only.
Alice and Tobey knew this and that
is why they bribed a man to sell to
them.
They wanted to go to that dance
just to spite a certain woman. This
woman, Elsie Owen, found out about
the pair having these tickets, with the
result that the man who sold the
tickets came back after them.
No, indeed, Tobey wouldn't give 'em
back for no price at all. The man,
Steve Jackson, got very angry.
The first thing Tobey knew he was
lying unconscious on the sidewalk,
with Alice bending over him, wetting
his forehead with a towel.
Steve's reputation depended on his
getting back those tickets. He didn't
even care about being arrested.
And he was perfectly satisfied with
paying a $50 fine for cracking Tobey
on the bean and taking the tickets
away from him by force.
Benes in Her Head.
ledge, dis woman cum to nah
house en- tole me she was gwine blow
nah top off. All has had nah top
foh a long time en- it amt blowed
gonna let dat woman do it,
Il suppose you mean head when
you say top" said the court to An
ME Johnson, complaining against
Zelda Bowen.
Well" said Annie, with a bored
air. ''aint my top on nah haid?"
"Jedge, oh, Jedge," chimed Zelda.
do you suppose dat All would
. waste powder en- shot on dat wo-
mans haid? Tain't got nothin' IN
it,"
"Ah has so, Jedge," came back
Annie. "Ah has some bones in nah
haid, en- folks do say All has some
brains
The whole scrap came about. It
seems, by the two women calling
each other names. Annie said
Zelda "toted" a gun and was going
to spill her brains on the sidewalk.
The court prevented it by putting
Zelda under bonds to keep the
peace.
WEATHER CONDITIONS.