The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-14
LETTERS OF
TWO WOMEN
To May Bond, Wife, From Kate Dan
skoi, Business Girl Bride.
BY ZOE BECKLEY.

To May Bond, Wife, From Kate Dam
skoi, Business Girl Bride.
Darling May:
If it seems funny to you to lave
me married, it seems about eight
million times funnier to me! I didn't
want to marry. 1 was afraid to; I've
told you 1 felt l wasn't the marrying
kind and hated the eternalness CT it,
and the dependence and the impris-
onment and all the rest.
1 think marriage is all wrong. 1t
ought to be like any other contract
perfectly breakable after a stipu-
lated term. If we could marry, say,
for five years, or even ten, and re-
new the agreement if both parties
cared to! For if every woman felt
she might lose her job as wife after
the contract expired, she would go
into it much more carefully and
thoughtfully. There wouldn't be that
awful "let down. immediately after
marriag e-that slackening of effort,
that lapse into familiarity and ease
which comes from feeling that it's a
permanent arrangement anyhow, AMI
why make an effort all the time?
OF course you might argue that If
only one of the parties to this five
year contract wanted it Cancelled,
there would be pain to the one who
kept on loving. OF course there
would be pain, but none that would
compare in intensity to the pain one
feels when one loses love without be-
prepared for it.
No Maize, this for-life business
is terrible to think of, barbaric and
cruel and WI ong. That is why 1 got
my marriage over as quickly and
simply as possible. I didn't want to
pared event, which would bind me
for the rest of my life. 1 don't want
to merge myself into any mans indi-
viduality. l don't want to be merely
an 81 in a mans titIe-Mr Paul
Donskoi for him; the exact same
thing to indicate me except a tiny
IS added AFTER the r." The hard
and-fast marriage is very well for
some types of women. But it's an
awful thing for others. This PRO
crustes bed idea is pretty cruel
proposition.
And now to your question: Why
don't 1 write like happy BRIDE?
For two reasons, first, because 1 am
too fearful of what l have done. See
ond Eyes, you are right, because
feel 1 have selfishly taken the course
that will be advantageous to me, leav-
ing c. J. in bitterness and solitude.
But l am eomforted by your words,
Maize Paul says the same thing
and tell myself have done what is
best for both c. J. and me. am out
in the light instead of in a hopeless,
shadowy corner. And he will recov-
er. Men always do.
Yes. we were married without
pomp or ceremony, with strangers
for witnesses, and a journey to
beautiful mountain lake inn not far
away for honeymoon trip! We are
still there, and 1. along with three or
four other commuters" rush for
the 8 O'Clock express each morning
and walk into the office at 9:25 as
usual.
Oh. that reminds me I've been
transferred to a better position-oId
Talbot's secretary, with a salary Of
twenty-five a week. = Not so bad, Ell i?
To be sure, Talbot's q martinez and
no one can get on with him. but I've
learned not to let him bully me and
he is so surprised to have anyone not
afraid of him that he treats me with
actusI respect.
find. dear. that if you know how
to spell and psnctuate and take dicta-
ton at 125 a minute and catch rrfs-
takes in grammar or business. you
can demand to be treated like a hu-
man being even by a bear like Tai
bot.
am sticking to nv lob for about
the same reason married uucere-
nlonsousIy-so as not to feel too much
ma rried-. I like my work. adore
indeDendence- It is the sUrest guaran-
tee there is of happiness in marriage.
Besides-how do I know how my mar
rage is going to turn out. YETI
wouldn't dare give up my indepen-
dence. and it is easier to keep It with