The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-07-25
Bedtime Stories
Uncle wiggiIy and the Duchess.
BY HOWARD r. GARIs


| Uncle Wiggily Longears, the rabbit
gentleman, was hopping along thru
1.-THE woods one day, looking for an
J adventure. when, all of sudden, he
came to door standing up between
| two trees 1t was regular door,
with a knob, hinges and all. but the
4 funny part Of it was there didn't seem
to be room on either side of it.
This is remarkable" exclaimed
Wiggily, remarkable" meaning the
same thing as queer 1T is very odd.
Here is door and the jamb-"
where's the JAM" asked a little
katydid, who was sitting on leaf in
the sun. I'm very fond of JAM
Il didn't say j-a-m-the kind you
eat on bread spoke Uncle Wiggily.
81 was talking about the j-a-m-b-
wath a D.
Bees make honey" said the katy
did, and that's almost as good as
jam"
mo, there isn't any honey. either"
said the bunny. THE jamb of the
door is the wooden frame that goes
around it, to hold it in place"
| Then 1 don't want any door jamb
IL want bread and JAM" said the
katydid, hopping off to find her sister,
Katydidn't leaving Uncle Wiggily to
stare at the lone door.
| i"Well,'' said the rabbit gentleman
on the other side Tho a door all by
itself in the woods is the strangest
thing I've ever SEEM"
However he turned the knob,
| opened the door and stepped thru,
and, to his surprise, he found himself
in a big kitchen which seemed magi-
cally to have appeared the moment he
entered IT, At one end was a big
stove, with hot fire in it, and on the
stove was boiling kettle of soup,
which was being stirred by big fat
cook lady, who was shaped like
H. -&r-s,r ~
of course. For the cook could stand
and didn't need to be hung on a nail
as a ham is.
In front of the fire was another
large LADY with bonnet on almost as
large as the hatter's hat. Over the
bonnet was fluffy, flowing veil.
Now please be quiet-do." ex-
claimed the sitting down lady to
something in her lap, and Uncle Wig
gily saw that it was a baby. Come,
cook!" she cried. rs that hot soup
ready yet for the baby?"
be-" answered the cook. and Uncle
Wiggily was just going to say some
thing about not giving a little baby
hot soup, when the door opened
again, and in came Alice from Won
derland.
"Oh. I'm so glad you're here, Uncle
Wiggilyi' cried Alice. Now it will
be all right" AZ
What will?" asked the bunny
What will be right ?"
MY left shoe" said Alice. You
see 1 just came from the Pool of
Tears. and everything got all mixed
: up. When l came out l had two left
shoes instead of a right, but now you
! are here it's all right mean one is
right and the other is left, as it should
! be-" and with that Alice put on one
shoe she had been carrying in her
hand, and smiled.
But who is this ?" asked Uncle
Wiggily, pointing with his red, white
and blue striped rheumatism crutch
at the big lady holding the baby,
which was now squirming like an
! angle worm.
It's the Duchess friend of the
Queen of Hearts," answered Alice.
, TN introduce you to her in minute.
, Are you fond of sneezing?"
Only when l have a cold" an
swered Uncle Wiggily. "Why do you
ask? ?" and he began to think he was
having a very funny adventure in
deed. why should 1 be fond of sneez-
ing?"
Because you'll have to whether
you like it or not" answered Alice.
THE Duchess is going to talcum
, powder the baby now-it's just had a
bath"
With that the duchess, who is the
, wife of duke you know, called:
Give me the pepper,'
/, Goodness me sakes alive and some
horseradish lollypopsi" cried Uncle
Wiggily. She isn't going to talcum
powder the baby with pepper, is she %
! "Of course" answered Alice. It's
j that way in the book from which 1
came to have an adventure with you,
, SO, of course, it has to be. Look out
! here come the sneezes!" and Alice
, got out her handkerchief.
oil ha xxyif ,,
a funny smile on her big face take
the pepperbox the cook gave her and
= start to sprinkle the black stuff over
the baby in her lap. The baby was
, cooling and gurgling-as all babies do
after their bath-and didn't seem at
all to mind being peppered.
a They season turkeys, so why not
babies?" asked Alice of Uncle Wig
2 gily. The bunny gentleman was just
going to say he did not know the an
swer to that riddle when the door
suddenly opened again and in came a
great big dodo bird, which is some
thing like a skillery-sca1ery alligator
only worse. with beak like that of a
q mosquito.
'.Ah, hal. chirped the dodo. "At
> last I have found him!" and he made
n a dart for Uncle Wiggily. The dodc
was just going to grab the bunny gen.
4 ueman in his claws, and Mr.. Longears
\ was SO shivery he didn't know what to
do. when the duchess. suddenly toss
r ing the baby to the cook. cried:
1 Hal No you don't. 1 guess it's
you I want to pepper instead" an6
t with that she shook the box of pepper
at the dodo, who began sneezing a.
hard as he could sneeze
$ ''Aker-choo! Aker-chooi Aker
choo," sneezed the dodo.
+ .Keer-zooi Keer-zooi Keer-zoof'
n sneezed the duchess.
"Goo-snitzioi Goo-snitzio; goo.
= snitzio!' sneezed Alice.
tIzz-ouzzy-Wuzzt zz-buzzy-wuzz
e Fizz-buzzy-wuzzi'' sneezed Uncle Wig
q gsly, and then the dodo gave another
. very large special five and ten cen
store sale sneeze and blew himsel
backward out of the door So h,
4 didn't get Uncle Wiggily after ALL
j. And now we are all right" SAID