The daily Alaskan., 1917-07-23

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 I collapsed into chair, which col llapsed immediately after did. She had called me by my first riamel Yes; EMontmorency is my first name. It lSounds like several names, but it is only my first. That first name thing made it very hard to refuse. As l sat there on the porch surrounded by legs, rung and other parts of chair a ter rife struggle went on in my being be- tween my heart and my stomach, and the weaker party won. Possibly my mind was stunned by my fall, although I have no recollection of hitting my head. I felt that Lucile was putting me to the test. From the look in her eye knew that she was asking me to choose between love and beefsteak So rising phoenix like answered Ebravely, "Yes; think fasting would be delightful"
 So that was how we began.
 As you can easily sec, the cause of the trouble was that Lucille is one of those persons who take the magazine health and .hygienic writers in good | faith. It is impossible to convince her Ethat those fellows have to make Hy- ! ing by their pens the same as other human authors and that every bizarre idea they can bounce on means just SO much more copy at a regular rate per word. No, Lucille must needs try I by experiment every new theory, using herself OF any convenient relative or friend as alaboratory.
 The sbsurdIty of Lucile's attempt to improve upon her health and looks is apparent to any one who has ever been blessed with sight of her. You can't make a slim young body like hers by simply rolling on the floor for an hour every day, nor are soft brown eyes with long, curly lashes the result of chewing any particular number of times upon piece of steak. Nature must have been experimenting a good many centuries before she got just that particular texture for hair and that peculiar shade of cream velvet for compleIions.
 At this particular time for nearly twenty-five years she and nature had been uninterrupted by matrlmony in their job of decorating, so that 1t is not to be wondered at that they had turned Tout well nigh perfect product There is nothing unfinished about her. One of her early spasms was Fletch- erism; then she struck the nuts and berries idea. was a guest at her home 1 the summer she tried both of these things out. If you are going to Fietch- erize, a piece of old boot tastes just as i good as a steak, and 1t Is more econom- ical. The adherents of the nuts and berries diet claim that 1t is a good food schedule because grizzly bears live on 1t. As far as l am concerned, being like a grizzly bear is a doubtful advan- tage, and, besides, don't believe 1t is ! possible for a bear to shell enough pea' nuts toNlive on. ....
 Lucne called meeting to discuss ways and means,
 "First of all," she said, "when the Eupply boat comes today we'll make them take back every edible thing they have brought, together with what we have on hand, 80 that we won't be ttempted. Isn't 1t lucky our cottage is on an island all by itself 50 that it won't be possible for one of US to cheat by going to a hotel somewhere" ..
 Don't you think 1t would be g great 1 CT victory for US if we conquered the tdemon food with some supplies within easy reachfT suggested, with pain ful recollection of that supply boat which came only twice week, but car ried delicacies of which Lucullus never dreamed.
 ''No, it's best to take no chances"
 There's the motorboat anyway. We could run over to the mainland"
 "No, We couldn't" Lucille smiled. Father Is the only one who can run 1t, and be won't be here until Sunday"
 Thus another ray of sunlight flicker ed out. A man of my build does not crank up marine engine located near the floor of 6 boat, might say be could not, but 1t Is truer to say that | he does not. If he Is the least bit wise he does not even try 1t.
 1T1Ia give the maid g week oh," Lu- cile c6naited gayly. =As we're not go- ing to eat anything we shall not really need her, and she has been wanting to go home for some time. I'll let her go back with the supply boat We'll begin our fasting tomorrow by going without breakfast"
 She consulted the magazine again We have to drink plenty Of good, pure water and think high thoughts all the time, and we'll hardly notice the ab- sence of food at all. Then next Mon day we'll break our fast, by drinking the juice. of an orange and eating 8 handful of popcorn, just one handful I9so as hot to shock our digestive ap- baratus by introducing anything solid tinto 1t"
 But why harrow the reader with the rules and regulations which Lucile