The Washington herald., 1917-11-29
War Prices.

| over at the Union station they still
sell cakes Of chocolate for a nickel.
Over in Germany they don't sell 'em
at all.
For several hours Tuesday afternoon
I Dan Hicks had his eye on the candy
stand. He bought a package Of gum
He waited until several people got
around the stand Then he pounced
on an innocent cake Of chocolate and
walked away with IL.
A detective who had been watching
him nabbed him before he got 20 feet
away. Dan almost tainted.
"Why doncher pay for your stun?'
| the detective asked him. Excuse me
mister" said Dan shaking all over, Il
Just naturally forgot. You see us fel-
lows have to think about the war
these days and we get a bit absent
minded"
But Dan couldn't make the court see
1t that way and he was fined SO
Jus q souse.
Once there was a man who was ar
rested for being soused. He had tried
to carry a gallon in a quart measure.
And when they nabbed him they
put him in a cell, quite unlike his
comfortable room at home. The
change sickened him.
He sat down on the iron bench and
cursed his luck. Also the police de-
partment. Not long afterwards as he
sat there bemoaning his luck, the cell
began to spin around.
He called for help. A cop came up
and took hold OF the cell and made it
stand still. More swearing and groan-
ing.
Getting up with a start he pitched
in and broke up the iron bench. II
| hadn't done a thing TO him. either.
/ He was through with everybody and
every thing and he would make the
police department sorry they ever
saw him.
! The next a. m. he was cooled of
I His anger had gone. So was most of
| the jag. But that didn't save Jerry
! Carroll from being fined So.
Madeline Got Wise.
"Jedge. dat woman don't like me
nohow. OATS why she had me ar
rested. She got mad because All
wouldn't glib her NAH ring"
But she says it is her ring and she
only loaned IT to you. That didn't
give you any right 10 hit her with a
brick" said the court to Asa Holmes,
charged with assaultinG Madeline
Brown.
''Yessir. Jedge" said Asa. dat
woman said All was a Gold Dust twin
en- dat is enuff to mex ennyboddy
fight"
After. a short courtship Madeline had
loaned Asa her ring Twice he had
pawned it and each time got it out
before she found il out.
She suspected something Of the sort
and demande the ring back. IL there
was any pawning to be done she
would do it herself. she said.
Asa refused TO give 1t up. But he
did hand her an uppcrcut and knock
on the head with brick when she in
sisted on his giving up the trinket.
| II it hadn't been for a previous good
| record Asa would be in jail this
morning. while all his relatives. or
rather those that have the price,
would be smacking their lips for the
turkey. lie was paroled-
The Woman scarned.
One day as Jennie Garter was pay
ing her weekly installment on her
talking machine she dropped a dol
/ lar bill.
Two or three days aftcrward she
kmissed it. She sat down to think. She
1 remembered seeing Ella Hart and
Rob Barnes standing near when she
opened her purse.
No. neither did it. she thought be
cause she knew both to be honest.
1t seems that Rob saw the mono,
| drop. So did Ella. Rob picked 1t
up. Ella saw that, too An hour
later she mentioned the matter TO
Rob. He understood. He would
divide, he said.
But the poor fish didn't keep his
word. Ella got sore and passed hint
! along to Jennie. She faced Rob. lie
! denied it. She shook him vigorously
and then he owned up.
He told the court all about Ella.
| He cursed her treachery. But any
how he must go to Jail for thirty
days as penance.
An Everyday Happening.
ElsH, the daughter of Maggie
Sears, is quite magnet for the
boys in her neiChborhoOd. They
flock there as they used TO do in
the barrooms.
Every once in while her ma
comes in the parlor and demands
order. Once she caught the bunch
shooting craps and cleaned house
right away.
The same bunch was at the house
last Monday night. This time. how
ever. they shot no craps. They had
! a pack of cards.
All squatted down on the floor.
Elsie with them. She held the
stakes. The fellows who were los
ing were the ones who were making
eyes at Elsie instead of watching
the game.
Soon one man called the other
one of those short ugly things. Elsie
got up and left Then a free-for-aII
fight started. Ma came in with an
iron bar.
Ralph Diggs and George ,Mahoney
were clinched in a corner. The cops
came in and got both of them. Both
were pretty badly bruised up.
And it happened that each had
won S5 in the game. Just the
amount of their fine. EIsie's ma
has been advised to move.