The Washington herald., 1917-09-17

respectfully advise that you shoot the |
bull referred to above"
Bull referred to above"
reason OF distance or inaccessibllityi
for special agent of the bureau to |
visit some small burg where the local
raucous Teuton has grown too vocif-
erous. when the complaint Is of /
minor import and the point OF inves-
tisation remote. reference is frequent
ly made to the town postmaster who, /
by reason of his inevitable minute fa
miliarity with local Conditions is
usually a very valuable person. There
was one case, unusual, of course.
where misguided foreign gentleman,
presuming on acquaintance, sent con-
hdential mail to little postmistress !
to be sent by her in turn to a certain
German official in this country. The
mail was delivered intact, but I'm
afraid it meandered considerably |
en- route.
"U-Boat" Appears.
The chiefs office being a bit ouiet |
I wandered out in the hall. where / |
spied my friend. the "U-Boat." The
u-Boat" Is a newspaper man who |
has turned special agent with, as his
pet name indicates. some degree of !
success. He specializes on Illicit drug
traffic Investigations and has neatly |
topedoed a number of thriving and
prosperous little dope businesses.
Beng possessed OF, IL not by, n hui
morous sense. he has a bad habit of |
occupying the chiefs desk during the
absence OF that parsonage and ringing
the various buzZers with nlelodramatic
emphasis. Outside of this and a pie
belan habit Of chewing gum, he is the
special agent par excellence, ingrati-
ating manner. self-adjusting poise and
everything.
He had been interviewing applicants
for appointment as agents Of the bu-
reau and wore a resultant slightly
heated appearance. One young man
had offered his services gratis but was
very insistent on the procurement of
badge. The "C-Boat," suspecting
that If this article were bestowed, 1t
would be employed more efficaciously
in the capture of wide-eyed young
ladies than of spies, had been at some
pains TO courteously discourage his
budding ambitions.
Possibly in the fact that detection
work involves a sort of humanistic
cosmology at which we all like to
play the amateur, at least. lies the
vi SItdl anu
variety OF potential employees who
proffer their services to the depart
ment. Sons OF the gilded rich, pretty
young ladies. hard-bitten adventures.
misguided youths from the backwater
burgs who have taken correspondence
courses in sleuthing. representative
cung men from offices and stores. all
seem to feel that their real talents
would find play in the bureaus work.
Offers of Service.
In this nationwide emergency, nu-
merous offers of a different type have
also been received. Those from cit
iZens' associations. ministers speak
ing for their congregations and pub
lie organizations of various types
While any good citizen may render
yeoman service to his country by re-
porting suspicious circumstances or
activities to the Department of JUS
tice and such intelligence is justly I,
valued, the matter of securing ap- ,
pointment as a special agent is an
other story, as Rudyard says. 1t is |
more of a proposition than is gen.
orally imagined. To most applicants, !
the principal stumbling block is the |
strict preliminary requirement of
a lt5dl tuuGdllOll vi a boOu /
working knowledge OF some modern !
language in addition to English.
The average special agent is a COL |
lege graduate. If he is successful, he !
is also a diplomat. a two-handed /
scrapper and a digger when it comes !
to work.
However, during the gradually in |
tensifying period which came to a
rhnN
force has naturally been multiplied |
more than once.
Between the big, smooth-running |
New York office, with Capt Offley |
at its head and Special Agent in |
Charge Barnes in hot. dusty San An
tonic, coping with slippery greaser
informants, the ring of the mercen- |
ary arms of Carranza and Villa al
ways in his ears, there are now hun |
dreds of special agents, each follow
ing his assigned part of the tangled, |
intricate trails that lead sometimes
to the feet of thrones and sometimes !
tsad to say) to nowhere in particular. |
Espionage Duties.
Even with this augmented force, the |
espionage activities are so heavy and |
pressing that the normal work of the |
bureau is temporarily sidetracked. One |
wonders if the primroses are not again |
beginning to lift their heads along the
lavender path of the white SLAYER. But. |
of course, all that will be attended |
to summarily after while.
AS it was after six, the "U-boat"
declared his intention Of going to din
ner. He stopped for a moment to
put his head in the narrow green
chief where that dignitary was dictat-
ing interminably to an aforemention-
ed stenographer of Galway extraction.
the "U-boat" politely.
I'VE are. Look at this stuff Bruce |
just shot in here"
With a change of tone, well, II he
stays here himself every night until
IL or II o'clock. I guess the rest of
US can stand the pace"
ut would be right pleasant though.
il the chief didn't expect quite so
much mental agility. They say that
back about his high school days when
he was playing third base on some
team in the old church league, he'd
occasionally pitch the ball about ten
feet over second and then the un-
fortunate playing there would get the
dickens for not leaping up gracefully
and dragging down the sphere. And
he's just the same now, except for the
wild pitches
did you say he played in the
Church Lacquer" said.
"Yes. his father happens to be pas
tor Of a Methodist church. I wonder
If there's any logical connation be-
tween being a minister's son and the
Chief of the Bureau of Investigation.
II think probably there's an illogi-
cal one" I said.
1t seemed to me that the coalition
of an eYofio po1ish rar,a . o.onita