The Washington herald., 1917-12-22
~ RUDOLPH PERk1NS
There Comes a Time

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Once there was man who was born
with cheerful disposition. For g.
long time thereafter you just couldn't
make him mad.
Until he was one and twenty. he
saw only the silver lining even in the
blacklist Of clouds.
Then he got married. He acquired
mother-in-iaw. Also he acquired
them was q youngster OF the male
sex.
One day ma-in-law came around and
few into a rage. "The very idea
she shieked. "of putting pants on q ?
year-old boy. Who ever heard Of such
thing?"
2 We'll" said the man, at amt aim
in to make sissy outa him wants
him to be q man.. It's high time he
got out Of wearin' skirts"
Fooiishly ma-in-law insisted. For the
first time in his life the man got
angry, and with a woman at that.
One word brought on another and
the first thing ma-in-law knew she
didn't know anything. A nurse was
taking care of her.
Son-in-law was brought into court.
His wife wisely kept out Of 1t. At the
age Of Is. the man had learned how to
get hot in the collar.
Ma-in-law feels better now, since
the court fined AL Foster so and
threatened to send him to Jail IL he
ever showed his face In court again.
Twas q Little Personal.
Jesse kewis is a light colored gentle
man Of African descent. Sometimes
he wears shirt that almost matches
his complexion.
Not that the shirt is dirty! Oh. no.
II was born that way. Jesse likes to
have everything harmonic.
One day he went into a grocery store.
The storekeeper commented on the
shirt. Jesse had heard this 30 often
from different people that It began to
bore him.
BY way Of resentment, he commented
on the storekeeper's shirt. This was,
of course, the starting Of a fight
Soon three pistols were brought out.
but there was so much scuffling that
no one would take a chance on hitting
the wrong man.
The storekeeper's wife got in the
mix-up. She had a baby in her arms.
Putting 1t on the counter. she tried
to separate her husband and Jesse.
She got scratched up rather badly:
Everything in the store was messed
up. Jesse was arrested.
1t was all on account of his shirt,
he told the court. Even If it did look
dirty, it was really clean. he said.
But, as ne was somewhat justified
in resenting the remarks, he got OF
with a $ fine.
Curiosity Spoiled IL All.
ledge. All gal cum into nah room
and looked through nah bureau. She
seen a present dere what All had
for a1udder gal en- she got mad en-
broke it all up
II can't see where there is an ex-
cuse to say you are going to put out
her lights" said the court to Henry
Collins, charged with threatening to
make business for the undertakers
in the person OF Maggie Harris.
Heretofore Maggie thought she was
the only girl that Henry loved. She
was absolutely sure OF 1t until she
went through his effects. Then she
found him to be the gay deceiver.
When she upbraided him about II.
he threatened to get a gun and shoot
out her lights. She was afraid that
he would really do it. He had never
yet. as she knew, failed to keep
promise.
Never mind, Maggie" said the
court, we wilt see that your lights,
as you call them. keep burning. You
will be safe
And you, Henry" continued the
court" will have to stop saying such
things to the women. Furnish a 500
bond or go to Jail for thirty days"
Man In Ever Foolish.
One night at a Goldfish supper Her
bert Johnson was introduced to an
Ethiopian maid. She was the SWEETEST
he ever saw.
Not being used to the ways and the
wiles Of the women, the girl soon had
this simple country lad as supple as
a piece of macaroni.
He called on her seven nights a
week and on Sundays, too In fact,
he almost lived at her house. Her
nickname was bessie, short for Des-
demona.
Last Wednesday night Herbert
called around to see bessie. She was