The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-10-22
EVENING STORY
A Deacon's Deal.


buys or sells. If he trades horses he
must take a blind one in exchange
| and be thankful that the equine has
! four legs TO move about on.
Il If he makes cider TO sell he must
! turn out the pure quill. whereas any
! one else is excused for a dilution of
! five pals of water to barrel.
/ For about fifteen years Deacon
/ Goodhue had been governed by the
ancient idea, and had been looked
I upon as a man that would be a leader
among the angels, but all of sud
/ den there came change. lie had
| been thinking things over, and when
1 he killed an early fall pig he did not
send the remains around among the
| nearest ten families, as had been his
wont, and keep the ears and bristles
| for his portion. And thereupon the
people exclaimed:
Deacon Goodhue has surely back
slid"
within a month he'll be sell
milk instead of giving it away"
HE can't develop such a spirit As
/ this and expect to remain in the
church,
Deacon Goodhue dug thirty bushels
| of potatoes from his garden that fall,
and instead of giving away twenty
! of them, and living on turnips after
| January, he stored every peck of
them in his own cellar. Some folks
said that the evil omen had surely got
hold of him. and some almost excused
! his unheard and unwarranted conduct
! by saying that he was losing his
! mind.
Whatever it was, he kept right on
| springing his surprises. Brother Alb
SALON. Springtree had a sick COW. He
asked a tin peddler to diagnose the
case, and. after looking at her eyes
| and twisting her tail, the man looked
wise and said:
That re COW has got bad case Of
| the holler-horn."
'Shoo! Will she die of it?''
1.-The chances are nine out of ten
that she will"
What had I better do about it?''
Trade her off, and that without n
| days delay. Don't you know of any
one around here you can stick ?''
! "Um! Why, there is Deacon Good
| hue!"
go for him."
The COW was driven over to the
| deacon's. He stood a rod away and
looked her over and shook his head
and replied:
bad case of the holler horn"
But you can cure it.
/ Il don't want to-. Let her die on
! your hands,"
That reply went to the parson, and
he was asked to entertain charges.
WAS there any cheating on the part
of the deacon?' he asked,
! Moo, not skassly."
Then what can he be charged
| with %
why, refusing to do a n;eighboriy
actY
You believe in Moses, don't you %
| "Of course, parson.
He was a good MANI"
| "a mighty good man.
HE was the owner of coWS?'
! HE was.
do you think ne would trade d
] good COW for one with the hollow
| horn?"
The caller went away disgruntled.
and the deacon kept right on being
good to himself.
No deacon has ever been considered
a good business man, and when it was
| known that Deacon Goodhue was
| branching out a little it was predicted
that:
The eggs he sent to market would
all addle.
That the butter would all turn
frowny.
That the Strawberries would turn
sour, and that the calfskins would be
a losing venture
They went to the parson again, and
| after he had heard the story he re
| piled:
"Oh, I don't know
But YOU will surely talk to him p
..Oh, yes. 1 will tell him that I
| wished more men of the world attend
ed my church,
I'm which event my salary. poor as
it is. would not be from five to six
| months behind"
Deancon Goodhue was like drama
fist He worked up to a climax. Per-
hapS it was because he was not a
| business man that he got hint that
a railroad was coming to town, and
that the site of the depot and repair
shop would just cover what was the
town graveyard. There had been talk
= han Il lon IA
site for one better located. and the
deacon's offer for the land was
I thought a liberal one. Under state
law. however, if a single objection was
| filed no move could made for GER
tain length of time.
The widow Raymond had filed an
objection She had lost her husband
some five years before, and to put it
in her words when the deacon called
on her:
There is to be Judgment day. isn't
there?"
Yes. they say So
Gabriel will blow his horn?"
Il expect he will"
rise up?"
Yes
Deacon Goodhue, how far is it from
this to the town of Guilford?'
Just seven miles, wilder
And a straight rCad?"
There haifl't bend in it
well. everybody in this village
knows that my Peter used to start for
Guilford every Saturday for years and
years"
HE did widder-he did"
And everybody also knows that he
got lost as regularly as he started, and
it took two days to find him.
Two days, v-idder, and sometimes
three.
when Gabriel bows that horn amt
there goin' to such a bustlin' and
hustlin' as this world has never seen %
Quite likely"
Peter will be among 'em. When
he pops out of his grave he'll take a
look around and if he sees the came
old landmarks he'll hustle stra gllt
for. the golden gates If he's heen