The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1917-08-24
CHAPTER xxlII.-continued.

--16--
There was something peculiarly hor-
rifying to him In the exhibition Ran
dolph was making of himself. He'd
never in his life taken a drink ex-
cept convivially, and then. he took as
little as would pass muster. Going off
alone and deliberately fuddllng one
self, as means of escaping unpleas-
ant realities, struck him as an act of
the basest cowardice. But for that
picture of Rose he'd have gone long
ago and left Randolph to his bemused
reflections. Only Rose had
asked him to j ia Oh the doctor for
visit. Did shv lncan she wanted him
to try to help?
He tried, though not very success
fully, to conceal his violent disrelish of
the task, when he said: "Look here,
Jim! What is the matter with you?
Are you sober enough to tell me?"
Randolph put down his glass. 81
have told YOU" he said. I'm Eleanor's
kept man. Well kept, oh, yes Beau
tifully kept. I'm nothing but pos
session Of hers A trophy of sorts, an
ornament. I'm something she's made.
/ have big practice. I'm the most
fashionable doctor in Chicago. They
come here, the women, in shoals.
That's Eleanor's doing. I'm a faker,
fraud. 1 pose for them. play up.
l give them what they want. And
that's her doing. They go silly about
me; fancy they're in love with me.
II haven't done a lick of honest work
in the last year. / can't work. She
won't let me work. She-smothers me.
Wherever I turn, there she is, smooth
ing things out, trying to make it easy,
trying to anticipate my wants. I've
only one want. That's to be let alone
She can't do that. She's Unsuitable.
There's always something more she's
trying to get, and I'm always trying to
keep something away from her, and
failing"
'And why? Do you want to know
why, Aldrich? That's the cream of the
thing. Because we're in love with
each other. She wants me to live on
her love. To have nothing else to live
on.
ton of heaven is? 1t would be to go
off alone, with one suit of clothes in
handbag, oh, and fifty or hundred
dollars in my pocket wouldn't mind
that; don't want to be tramp-to
some mining town. or slum, where
could start a general practice; where
the things I'd get would be accident
cases, confinement cases: real things,
urgent things, that night and day are
all alike to. I'd like to start again and
be poor; get this stink of easy money
out of my nostrils. I'd like to see if
could make good on my own.
81 came back from New York, after
that look at Rose meaning to do it;
meaning to talk it out with Eleanor
and tell her why, and then go. Well, ]
talked Talks cheap. But 1 didn't go
I'll never go. I'll go on getting softer
and more of fake; more dependent
And Eleanor will go on eating me VI
until the last thing in. me that's me
myself is gone. And then, some day
she'll look at me and see that I'm moth
ing"
Then, with suddenly thickened speech
Can affectation, perhaps), he looked vi
at Rodney and demanded:
"What are you looking so s-solemI
about2 Can't you take joke? Com
along and have another drink"
"No," Rodney said, "Tm going. Ant
you'd better get to bed"
Rodney walked home that night Xix
a man dazed. The viyidneSs of on
blazing idea blinded him. The thinj
that Randolph had seen and lacked tn
courage to do; the thing Rodney de
spised him for coward for havln
failed to do-that thing Rose had done
Without knowing it. yielding to
blind, unscrutinized instinct, he'd want
ed Rose to live on his love. He'd trie
to smooth things out for her, anticipat
her wants. He'd wanted her soft, ASlL
less, dependent. Shed seen, even theI
something he'd been blind to-somt
thing he'd blinded himself to: tina
love, by itself, was not enough. Tha
il could poison, as well as feed.
But she had won, among the rest c
her spoils of victory, the thing she ha
originally set out to get. His frient
ship and respect. Friendship, he n
membered her saying, was thing 70
had to earn. When you'd earned 1T,
couldn't be withheld from you. Wei
it was right she should be told that
made to understand it to the full. Il
couldn't ask her to come back to hin
But she must know that her respe'
was as necessary now to him as she
once said his was to her. He must sc
her and tell her that.
He stopped abruptly in his walk. III
bones, as the Psalmist said, turned
water. How should he confront tn,
gaze of hers, which knew so much an
understood SO deeply-he. with Il
memory of his two last ignominious e.
counters with her behind him?
CHAPTER XIV.