davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Our Joe Miller Contest.

(Judgc) Waldo Emerson Burford, of Juneau, Alaska, claims that the oldest joke is the one about the stuttering drummer who used to stop at a hotel in a small town about once month on his rounds. He had made quite a hit with the dining room girl who waited on him every time he made the town, and he was very fond of the girl him self. One night he was late to sup per and the dining room was deserted when he entered. The girl waited on him usual and they passed a few compliments and laughed and blushed Just before the girl served the coffee the stuttering drummer caught her by the hand and said; will you let me have 9 k-k-k-k -k--?" The girl blushed and the drummer repeated. ''Wil you let me have a k-k-k-cup?' The girl brought the cup. and the drummer laughed and said; 'I know why you -blushed You thought I was going 10 ask you for a k-k-k-cean cup, didn't you?'
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
FARM CROPS VALUABLE
(POrtland JOurnaN

(Portland JournaD
 Alaska is fast becoming agricultural center. according Oregon people who have spent the sum there and returning home. They say that prices for all farm products have resulted in the greatest agricultural activity in the history of Alaska and the Northand, which has been regarded as q country of polar bears and icebergs, is now a real producer of the necessities of life.
 Anchorage farmers estimate that their crops this year valued at $200,000.
 Produce from the fertile Tanana district, harvest ed this year, will reach than $225,000 in value
 Ranchers Juneau have been supplying that section of Southeastern Alaska with all the vegetables needed and from the Eagle river section tributary to Juneau, Alaskans making substantial shipments to Seattle
 Farmers Haines prosperous as this year and making increased shipments to the outside.
 The Matanuska farmers through the Anchorage Chamber of Commerce are sending reports all over Alaska of the quality of the potatoes they produc ing, with view of obtaining market for them in Alaska. There is widespread movement obtain special rates between towns in Alaska for farm pro ducts raised in the North, that they may be placed on the market as advantageously as possible.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
THE ASSET OF ALASKA

Milwaukee, Wis. News)
 Dr. H. M. Smith, United States Commissioner of fisheries, has intmated that Alaska has paid itself in fine furs alone
 Uncle Sam paid Russia the of $7,200,000 for Alaska, and it considered the time high price for barren rocks and frozen rivers But exper fence has shown that the purchase shrewd bar gain in disguise
 The Alaska seal, and the blue foxes of the Prib- ilof Islands, both of which the property of the United States the especial hobby of Dr. Smith. He is interested in them scientist and economist and the seal industry has had history.
 In the old days the private individual had the right to purchase leases in the seal fisheries. As result the animals were in serious danger of becom- ing extinct, for they protected preserved
 When Uncle Sam to the rescue the poacher was punishd and the wholesale slaughter ceased. Great Britain, Russia, Japan and the United States signed the Peagc treaty, and the sealing interest preserved in common.
 For five years close maintained, and result the animals had not only increased but the belts were improved by preservation under scientific observation and later the blue fox was also induced to breed in large numbers in the islands.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
THE ROAD CONFERENCES AND OUTLOOK

The conference at Juneau last week of the cutives various road building branches in Alas ka, and the announcement that there will be coop eration among them so that the best results from the combined funds and efforts may be attained are pleasing the people of Alaska. Nothing in Alaska is more important road building. The develop of the Territory depends in large measures up it. More roads in Alaska that she will hold more people, and offer them more profitable em ployment for their energy and capital The roads in the vicinity of Juneau-and construction in this section has just started-have enlarged the commun ity and made it more populous That of many sections of the Territory The roads which have been built under the direction of Gen Richardson have added materially to the growth of Alaska and as they are improved and mileage added to them they will be of
 This movement for cooperation among the var ious road building branches of the government in the North is a that Gen. Richardson still President of the Alaska Board of Road Commission has had in mind for several years The selection of Capt. Waugh from the Office of Good Roads for membership the Alaska Board of Road Commis sioners of the direct results of attempts to further this plan Capt. Waugh is road building expert He has had years of practical experience in road making. He had charge of some of the most difficult work in that line in the Philippines. He has made thorough study of the subject, and to his knowledge has been added valuable personal exper fences.
 Dr. Hewes, who will spend part of next year in Alaska, likewise is expert road builder. Super visor Hurbutt head of the First Divisions Road Com mission, is thoroughly competent and practical man, and the other members of the commission like wise capable and practical Capt Zug, of the Alaska Board of Road Commissioners where he is associat- ed with Capt Waugh, trained civil engineer has been associated with the commission of which he is a member for many years
 The outlook for successful road building in Alas ka was never better than now.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

It makes an old fellow sigh when he remembers how he used to send a dime 10 Augusta. Maine, for book explain ing the language of flowers and the handkerchief Irritation when he was a youngster so he could make hit with the girls. Them was the happy days! | About the time a man loses his belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Rabbit and the Man in the Moon, he begins to pin his faith to fake mining stock. And, if a man ever was lucky enough to secure a deed to the earth giving him sole ownership, the chances are that II would be made out in his wife's name | inside of an hour.
 Once in a while you will run into a man who is so goodandpure that he is always by himself because he realizes that a man is known by the company he keeps
 The fellow who happened to predict record crops for 1917 wonder why the Government wastes good money in maintaining a Department of Agricul- ture.
 Any Mother who has a few small chill dren knows that it is called short cake because it doesn't last long.
 A woman knows that comfort and style cannot possibly be blended. So as soon as her shoes quit pinching her | and giving her corns she discards them and gets a new pair.
 They are so many hustlers these days that every time you grasp an oppor- tunity you discover that some fellow has hold of the other end. A man never begins travelling for his health until it is too late to catch up with it.
 Next time we are born we are going to fix things so that we will be the
 'rst baby in the family. The seconu baby never creates any excitement and takes the first baby's leavings.
 The reason why romantic Princess looks dopey all morning is because she is trying to recall what it was that she dreamed about her fellow last night.
 It must be kuite a relief to the thin danes to see that the skirts are getting longer. But the girl who knows that she hes 9 pair of comfy looking legs is going to wear her skirt a few inches higher than the regulation style.
 This is the Land of Opportunity and au that But it must make an intelli- gent man made all over to realize that trained goat can get into vaudeville and get twice as much pay as he can earn.
 If the Suffs ever get a majority ir Congress they will enact a law com polling employers to pay off married employees in small steel boxes and sup ply the wives of the married employees tle keys to the boxes.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
THE DIFFERENCE

Juneau. Nov. 3.-To the Editor-You
 say that the issues of the present
 drawn broader lines than those of
 the Civil War because the principles
 of the Revolution and the political poi-
 cies of the Civil War the stakes for
 which sending forth
 to battle. What do you mean? *****"
 -(From anonymous letter)
 The Revolutionary War fought for the prin cples of democracy, the right of self government
 The Civil War fought to prevent division of the country in which those principles being practically applied: division, had occurred which would have wrecked America and made her prey to European monarchcal institutions The Southern States not fighting for monarchy. They. too democratic and selfgoverning. But had the country been divided at that time, further division would, doubt have occurred North America like Europe, might easily have become land of enemy boundary lines drowning with fortresses and armed soldiers The growth resulting from the large area of free trade and free intercourse might have occurred The Monroe Doctrine which has pro- tected republican institutions elsewhere in America might we'll have become dead letter. Democracy might have perished from the earth, not because either side in Civil War opposed to democracy but because of international political conditions.
 Germany's aggressons constitute direct. murder ous attack democratic principles for the vindi-
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
(. CARTWRIGHT
 FOR
 HaIlowe' 'en Novelties of all kinds
HAVE YOU SPRUCE FOR
 SALE?

We are in the market for lin. A -in., F in. and 2-in. No. l Shop Spruce, the same thicknesses in No. Clear & Better Spruce. and as much Sin. to Gin. by 8-in. and over wide, Is it. to 40 it. long. Clear Vertical Grain Spruce as you can get out. In replying please give specific details regarding stock you have on hand covering quanti- ties of the different sizes and grades and whether it is dry or green. Can you furnish any Bevel Siding, Ceiling and Finish in No. 2 Clear & Better Spruce? Can you surface the Shop and Clear Spruce? Can you accept orders for specified thicknesses and grades? In naming your best price please quote delivered F. o. B. cars. Prince Rupert and aboard vessel Seattle. Wash. We would like to have your price both ways.
 Patterson Lumber Co.,,
 White Bldg, Seattle. Wash.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
NEED OF PARTY RECOGNITION
(AnchOrage Democrat)

It would that the authorities at Washing ton at least to great extent paying attention the Democratic organization Alaska. This body of at the present time absolutely above proach and everyone of them doing their utmost for the benefit of the Democratic party Alaska And the Democratic party is the only political ganzaton that has dealt with this Territory in broad-mind manner
 There may be Hitler things, but about the least think of just the feeble efforts being made in certain quarters to besmrch the enviable reputation made by Delegate Sulzer at Washington We believe in conserving but at the time grapes should not be permitted become putrid- ly sour.-( Douglas Island News)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
ALASKA'S ANNIVERSARY
(Hartford, Conn.,, Post.)

(Hartford, Conn., POst)
 Fifty years today Alaska into the hands of the United States when the Territory, then as Stewards folly, was turned to Brigadier Gen eral Rosseau, who had been assigned to duty there. Today, half century after that time, little more than beginning to learn what a splendid pur chase that was. We have yet only scratched the surface The gold fields of the Kandike and the rich coal fields know of but the other wealth that is locked up we still have to learn of and de yelOp
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Oh, Shux!

A reader in Dayton. O., takes excep- lion to Luke's statement that it is strange that young girl never begins to develop suffrage tendencies until she is about 45 years old. This reader claims that she is Stuff and that she is only 24, and entered into her second
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Patterson Lumber Co.,, White Bldg, Seattle. Wash.
FINE COMMERCIAL PRINTING

THE EMPIRE PRINTING COM PANY has the best equipped com mercial printing office in Alaska; In. cludes 13 linotype faces, the latest styles in types. the only exclusively book and commercial cylinder print ing press in the Territory; modern in every particular; only one quality If printins-THE eEsT-Prices rsas. nAble.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Fooe,y! !!

We have three haunted houses in this village" bragged the Native "I'll bet you haven't anything like that in big city,
 "We haven't, eh?" replied the City Man. Why, every saloon in our city f full of spirits.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke
 -:-- Copyright by Cincinnati En-
 Quirsr.
Huh 1!

'It says here that most of the big men in Wall Street were born and raised on farms" said the Old Fogy, as he looked up from his newspaper.
 Huh" commented the Crouch. '1 suppose that is how they learned to water stock"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Mean Brute!

What is the longest sentence a Jus tice of the Peace can impose?" asked Mrs. Gabb.
 Marriage" growled MT. Gabb.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Luke McLuke Says.

It takes real egotist to retain a good opinion of himself when he gives himself the once-over in the mirror in the morning when he first gets up
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

cation of which fought the Revolutionary War, on the hand and they threaten the national life of the American Nation, did the Civil War, on the other hand.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
We Have Tried It for Twenty Years

Oh, Luke McLuke is a joker rare! His writings bubble with merrment; He cannot be married, and ye we would
 swear
 That he must have tried the experi- ment.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Wuf

"Theer is one thing beyond my ken, ,
 Complained old MT Teept; How can l give a promise, when
 l know that l must keep it?"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Is That Sol

Please to remember the Sixth of Novem
 Der
 And old Bone Drys dastardly plot; For if Dry should win, Luke's column
 so bright Will quickly devolve into rot.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Signs Is Signs

Sign in factory at Anderson, Ind.
 Free
 A Lot of Nice Clean Dirt See J. L. Davied in Factory Office.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

As far food supplies concerned Alaska be made selfsusaining The soil of the Territory is capable of producing grain vegetables and berries, the greatest hindrance to large being the short summer North Yakima Wash, Herald)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

It's trite old saying but true that lots of times we are well off and don't know it. Just think of what an 1Sk soft snap the Kaiser went out of his way to get himself jerked loose from.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
An Epitaph.

Young hunter Potgun Has gone hence; He dragged a shotgun Through a fence.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Does This Mean You?

Breathes theer man with a sould so
 dead, Who hesttates, and hath no said: "Of Liberty I'm proud and fond, Here, Uncle Sam, give me bond"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

If Cen. Greene does not stop advertising Seattle pretty he will surely be compelled to refuse permission for his soldiers to visit the city, the risk of losing the soldiers
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Arthur Is Candid. Anyway.

Anyone wanting a big, fat hog, come and see me. Arthur Sellmen (Ad in Galva News)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

The frequency of the Kaiser's visits to his allies gives rise the suspicion that he is afraid that they may move out without paying the rent
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

When the deaf mute attempts to Grown his sorrow in the flowing bowl would he use a finger bowl?
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
Our Daily Special.

You Cant Generate Steam by Burn ing Money.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

As nearly get at it Senator La Fol lette's defense that he has right to be that way if he wants to.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

After steps have been taken to induce T. R. to accept a commission Major General pressure should be brought to bear the fishes to induce them to swm.-t Boston Transcript.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

Snow is falling today. We now settle down to nice long siege of talking about our neighbors and wondering how the old home outside looks about now.-(Valdez Prospector.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

United States engineers created artificial wave to float coal barges in the Ohio River Somebody had better create some artificial coal sugar and milk. -(New York Teegram.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

In regard to the conflict between German and Austrian sailors feel perfectly neutral
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

matrimonial career two years ago.
 Very well. But what the Hek does any women who has had two husbands before she is 22 years old want with vote?
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

When the in Europe is and the war on booze is ended, Tales of the Ex-Tanks" will be interesting reading -(Seattle PostIntelgencer)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

Can the Dispatch fool us it's ardent champion ing of Governor Strong? We should say not. Our knows.-(Yadez Prospector.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05
OBVIOUS

Many of those citizens whose minds run to speculation in futures are occupied just now-prematurely, it seems to us in deciding upon a fitting place of exile for the Kaiser Wilhelm Many of these thinkers favor the island of St. Helena and this notion should be nipped in the bud without further delay - (New York Herald)
 Sure There is only one place to send the Kaiser and whoever called it St Hell ena 2 Louisville Courier-Journal) Obvious Omit the st" and the last two bes
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-11-05

Save food and win the war
Omaha daily bee., 1917-01-28
MILLS CALLS FOR
CINDER PATH MEN
One Hundred Candidates Ex-
pected to Answer Summons
of Creighton Coach.
HAS SOME GOOD MATERIAL

Creighton's first attempt to carve
its name on the cindcr parth will
begin next Monday with the call for
track candidates by Coach Tommy
Mills. At least 100 are expected to
respond for what will really be the
beginning OF the blue and white track
activities.
The Creighton mentor is cnthousi-
astic with the material he has on
hand. While he admits that he has
not a finished athlete in school, he
feels confident that he will have no
trouble in turning out track men that
will be the class of the state.
At least two carly meets have al
ready been assured for the blue and
white cinder men. Mills has accepted
an invitation to enter into the Ne
braska intercollegiate athletic meet
to be held at University Place un-
der the auspices Of Wesleyan college
and the other at Des Moincs to be
held under the auspices OF Drake
colleg. Both meets will be held early
in May.
A number of athletes now attending
the Catholic school have made rec
ords in the high schools they at
tended before continuing their work
on the hill.
Carl Lutes. former Central High
star, now holds the state high school
record for putting the shot. With
proper training, Coach Mills believes
that he can develop him into the class
OF the state. Lutes won the cham
pionship, while the Creighton men
tor was coach Of the Omaha High
school. Mccarthy and "Cy' Kamanski
are also said to be good weight men.
As to the hurdles, Vic Splitter, for
merly of the Ewin High school, is
expected to be strong asset. Splitter
has had four years OF training along
that line.
While Mills knows that practically
all of his men are green, he feels
certain that a blue and white squad
will be developed that will hold up
the colors of the Catholic school.
Omaha daily bee., 1917-01-28
Creighton Quint
Faces Three Hard
Games This Week

Three hard conflicts confront
Tommy Mills Creighton basket ball
quintet this week. ,
Tuesday the blue and white five
journeys to Sioux City for a game
at that point witt, Trinity. Wcdnes-
day they continue to Vermillion,
where South Dakota university will
be the foe to overcome. And then
Mills men take quick jump back
to Omaha for a game with Doane
here Thursday night.
As all three of these schools have
strong quints and the Creightonites
must make a long jump just before
each game, Mills men have their work
cut out for them.
A longer trip, which will carry the
locals as far east as Chicago, is
scheduled for the following week.
This tour will open February 6 at
Dubuque, Ia, with Dubuque college,
On February Company F of Rock
ford, ILL.,, will be the opponent. Two
games are carded in Chicago. They
are with St. Ignatius and Loyola col.
leges on February and 9, respec-
lively. On February 10 Mills men
will play St. Viateurs college at Kan
kakce, ILL.,, before returning home.
Omaha daily bee., 1917-01-28
Commerce High Quintet
. Will PIay Alumni Five

The High School of Commerce
basket ball quintet will meet team
composed of former Commercial stars
Tuesday evening at the Young Mems.
Christian association.
The undergraduates were scheduled
to meet the Commercial teachers on
that day, but the latter on account of
the extra work OF the new semester
had to call off the game SO John Fixa
volunteered to organize a squad con-
sisting of the alumnae to substitute.
The graduates will include such stars
as John Fixa, Lennart Millburg, Miro
Rokusek, Arthur butcher, Max Moko-
vitz, William Dewey and Sam Brown,
who are expected to furnish hard
game against the regulars.
Omaha daily bee., 1917-01-28
Omaha Volley Ball
Team Enters State
Tourney at York

With the avowed intention of cap
turing the state championship, no
matter what may be the odds, the
volley ball team composed of paper
men and printers in the Omaha
Young Mems Christian association
volley ball league has announced its
entrance into the first annual Ne
braska state volley ball tournament.
which will be held at York Febru-
airy Is.
The paper men and printers are the
class Of the "Y" at volley ball. They
have consistently cleaned up every
team that has faced them and the
local sharks are confident they will
prove equally as formidable in the
state play.
One other Omaha team may also
enter the York tournament, but what
team it will be has not yet been def
initely decided. The six regulars on
the paper men and printers team ex-
pected to play in the state tourney arc
z. Fl. Hoel, H. f. Milliken. E. L..
Potter. A. G. Kittell, Leo Wilson and
.. R, 3. WILSON
The. Omaha lawyers volley ball
.-i,1 is also going to do little in
vading They have scheduleda match
came with the lawyers team at Ere
mont.
Omaha daily bee., 1917-01-28
SAVAGE WILL PUT
CLUB INTO JOPLIN
Business Men Pledge $4,000
and Savage Says Missouri
Town Gets Franchise.
RoURKE APPROVES DEAL

Joplin, Mo. Jan. 27--(Special Tel
egram.) John Savage, owner Of the
Topeka Western league frapchisc, to-
day pledged himself to local business
men to transfer his holdings to this
city.
Joplin business men had subscribed
more than $1,000 at noon today to-.
ward fund to build park and Mr..
Savage had only asked for $4,000.
Savage will close the deal Monday.
The park will be six blocks from
the busiest corner in Joplin and will
be served with an electric line con-
Meeting Joplin with Carthage, Carter
vile, Webb City and Galena, Kan.
Each city will have direct car service
to the gate t.
Pa Rourkc, owner of the Omaha
club, declared the remaining Western
league club owners would undoubt-
edly sanction Savage's move in invad-
ing Joplin. "Of course" said Rourke,
the long jump will mean an add.
tional expense Of about $500 per club
during the season for transportation,
but it is probable Savage will be re-
quired to pay larger guarantee to
the visiting clubs, probably about $40.
This will Offset the increase in trans
portation cost.
Joplin, however, | believe will be
an asset to the circuit for the time
being at least. | presume the site for
the park will be leased to Savage
without cost and $6,500 will almost
build the plant, so Savage won't lose
very much even if he has bad year.
It's cinch it will be better than To-
peka.
The mines at Joplin, Carthage and
Webb City and the rest of those
towns are running full time, most of
them night and day, and there's plenty
of money down there. Joplin ought
to be winner