The Washington herald., 1917-11-13
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GOOD
MORNING
JUDGE
sueSo.,r
PsRNns
Ruth Was n Business Woman.

Ruth Was n Business Woman
Several weeks ago Ruth Brown
rented a room in her house to Josh
Cook. 1t was Josh's habit to stay
away for several days at a time.
OF course, he paid his rent any
how. But last week he was gone for
three days and having forgotten to
pay Ruth, she went ahead and rent
ed the room to another man.
Sunday night Josh came back. He
had a terrible crouch on. In Balti-
more he had gotten into a fight and
was pretty well banged up.
When he saw another man asleep
in his bed, he went to Ruth's room
and demanded the reason. Ruth told
him to vamoose and let her sleep,
else she would sic the dog on him.
Josh grabbed her by the hair, yank-
ed her out of bed and slammed her
her false teeth.
Ruth hollered murder as best she
could with no teeth. A cop got Josh.
And now the worhouse gets him for
thirty days.
A "Dry, Tragedy.
Sometime a trip to Baltimore can
be made profitable and sometimes 1t
is made the reverse.
Last Saturday night Ernest West
went over. While there he paid some
little attention to his parched throat.
He brought enough back with him
to wet his whistle for a long time.
While on the train home, he thought
up a little scheme that got him in
troubleI.
The safest way to get booze into
Washington was to carry it undfr
your belt, West thought. So he
into the reservoir furnished him by
Mother Nature.
Out by the District line, the stuff
got in its licks. West, for no reason
at all. fired the empty bottles at the
conductor.
One bottle hit him in the mouth, and
the other caught him right above the
EYE.
He was nabbed at the White House
Station and had to be carried to the
patrol wagon.
This little foolishness. cost him a
SIS fine and one month in Jail.
More Camouflage.
ledge, All had a bottle of liquor
setting on nah mantelpiece waiting
for Thanksgiving. De odder night All
went to tex a drink 70 nah cold en-
All almos' choked.
Somebody had drunk nah liquor
and filled de bottle wild tea. All axed
dis man bout it. EN- he said he did 1t
en- he tole me dat All could 60 ter
where dey don't nebber hab iced tea"
We'll, what did you nearly kill him
for?" asked the court of Joe Town
send, charged with assault on Fred
Watts.
well, Jedge," answered Joe, "wot
else could poah man do wen anud-
der stole his liquor en- den tole him
ter go to h-?"
You could have had him arrested
for larceny, Informed the court, bud
now have got to fine you for takingI
the law into your own hands, 7
But, Jedge," pleaded Joe, dat man
took nah liquor in his own hands.
Wot are you gonna do about that?"
Fine you slO," answered the court.
Stealing eggs, or rather trying to
steal eggs, is about as bad these days
as counterfeiting money or robbing a
bank.
In the cool gray dawn of last Friday
Tom Taylor and Cliff Haight
were snooping around the market.
A crate of eggs was reposing in an
auto, minding its business and not
saying a word. On the auto was
man, asleep.
The boys crept softly up to the auto
and rustled around a little in an ef-
fort to kidnap the eggs. The man
awoke and gave chase.
The boys got away temporarily. A
short while after two cops hove In
sight The man told them his trou-
bles.
Pretty soon the cops had nabbed the
two boys and had them locked up.
In court both boys swore they had
never seen either the owner Of the
eggs or the eggs themselves before.
But their statements were unconvinc-
ing.
Eggs are too valuable these DAYS to
be snooped about and the court gave
each snooper thirty days in Jail.
Us Girls.
Last Sunday morning Hattie Miller
and Lena Jackson went to church to-
gether. After church they separated.
Lena went to see her beau. Hattie
went home, washed her face and sat
by the window, waiting for dinner.
Folks had told Hattie that her beau
was in Jail. Not having seen him
for a week, she believed It.
All afternoon she sat at home, nurs-
ing her troubles. Never once did she
think Of Lena. Lena was supposed to
be a good friend to her.
So at s o'clock Hattie went around
to Lena's house. Lena saw her COM
ing and hid her gentleman friend up
stairs. (There's a reason)
The two women sat and talked for
a while. The man upstairs, Harry
Cant, began to get impatient and STIR
red about little.
A sixth sense told Hattie there was
mischief abroad. There was, too. She
ran upstairs without saying a word
to Lena,
Lena grabbed her and the two
wrestled all over the place. Lena got
in the most licks and was arrested