Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1917-11-09

w.
Hon. Turkey Flew Afterwards Striking Me s. Earnestly oil Hair He Left Me
Quite BrainIess.
To Editor, Who Keep Cheerful in Spite of Holidays:
Dear Sir: While annual yearly date of Thanksgive approach up, I enjoy
pain in connection with my memory. I tell you what collapsed to m e last
I was employed for Ger. Cookery 1t domestic kitchen of Mr.. 8 Mrs.
Togo" say Hon. Mrs approaching up to me- tomorrow shall be Thanks.
There will be 8 to dinner, to include my fattsh Uncle Seth who equal 3
more NOR ca. AL. my ny relatives is most sneerful particular about foods So nw will
complete ta Tenderness Og ness 4 qts. S eranDerrt 'as. of delicious eh sOurness 9 lunches
a,e. I e. e. a. At t e9uge t Bros zn Market hnao mnere .h was 7 o9s eTss Sign dat Eat r. TURKEY
''S ssuc 10 delicious ssi sSs' eh lsal s@y Of a' DiPa l ' neget %ss u Hon. e03 butcher 1a lrs who was
there ss2a So such ns r ra@si 4 soE mgss %G1la ar = tnrahss eostF'
"Do you not promise fat turkey for s5cT I rake off.
ST should like ID lh. pleased" This from me-
$780," This from him.
No response from him He go to icebOz and fetch forth n enlarged
"How you know he freshy I Suggest.
"Tave he not been constantly on ice for 2 ysf Nothing could be more,
fresher than that" depOse Hon. Butch. I buy.
He sell me expensive celery-bouquet, price 75c per cluster. It seem dis
respectful t. eat such valuation. Also precious cranb@ries' price 81 for sell
s %sras ea caP4gins a adas ral Ito ss5 but r%9 punfsns for pie. I promenade home
while / was thusy struggling along with burdened back, one assorted
dog, name nj Hon. Fido, snux up behind of turkey and made Shining sniff
"shoOr I report Hon. Frdo stood wageshy saying nothing, but looking
at Hon %nto Turkey as wit. with flirting Thmg. ee a.,.,. - p .av !. - s.4
arose up and commenced. All a m that assorted dog Hon. F1dO' set cd
About time of afternoon p M I could hear several sever tnanhsgiysrs seraplns
shir ! f9 %sp nna o. to as: h bs imparfan e end forth smiling Smsn Of bakery
1--WE got much to be THANKSGIVING for" report Hon. Cooler with sharp
ut were lot thusy when I as a boy" report Uncle Seth with grone.
He made smacktaste of this foods, then flop 1T back with snubbed e-
preston.
go to kitchen for bring in delicious muIgantawny Op what I bought
While | we're pouring this hot beveridge in plates I notice slight smell of
and put him by window where he be more comfortable
I fetch soup in plates to all those thanksgves.
Canned" they yelup together with voice of sad chorus girls while
Nothing is real any morel' narate Uncle Seth with dyspepsia "Even
was accustomed, IN Thanksgve morning, to salute Hon. Turkey by chopping
him in knock with \. We knew he was good to eat because we seen how
their old age on ice before meeting civilized persons. No respectable bird dog
enjoy considerable alarm for this thanksgiving speech. Then. courageous
thrilled tmf "a s m y wns 1 aa sbd t~ kitchen d 7 entered fSr fT tfcb f99t 91 h sseo, Turkey ts .Dh HDDs
turkey.bqt OH I stand CAST I look to window where I left that sacred
entirely vacuum. Hon. Turkey had aeved avayli
expression o. tail, there stood Hon. Bdo abduetng Hon. Turkey across alley
Come backwards" I yenup Hon. Fido show no impression IRON my
talk. I lep through window TX feet to outside Quickly reassuring my legs
hooked claws resembling cats Too late or mel Turkey had escaped from
Mr.. Editor, heroes is nos brave when reporting failures. So I drag
together ny soul and encroach toward dining room, where I could hear those
8 thanksgfvers complaining about everything. I walk in there carrying empty
"Banzair I hOna, pOking forth va ant dish. "YOur digestion shall avoid
"what tsp all excam while leapung to their feetware.
cued from considerable preserved poison by one patriotic dog what sacrifice
you mean we shall have n turkeyF" snagger ALL
"How can W e fill his vacant platter?' sobb Hon. Mrs. II should be thank
full for Hon. Turkey, however fought"
Just while she say this-crashyi Loud sound of approaching dog heard
from kitchen window, and Hon. Ffdo with waggsh tail trott into dining room,
carrying that enormaous bird in his careful teeth. He lay that absent towel
"Hon. FidO do not care for this enlarged chicken, SO he bring him back"
I report.
slow could you speak itYI research. "when turkey go, you say, Dinner
iruinedr When he com back. you, Dinner spontr I am impossible to
You have Thanksgive dinner 50 you a set around making bewans. So
I shall do SO abrupt Hon Goober' arising upwards "First Misfortune
Next he rejected me through window by force of Swedish tfu,utsu. Hon.
Fido arrive by next kick, and Hon. Turkey few afterward, striking me on
hair SO earnestly he left me quite brainhss.
Hoping you the same. Yours truly.
-N Copyright 1915 ty international Press Bueau)