The Washington herald., 1917-01-21
Roundabout the Capitol
BY THE rArTLER.

IL BY THE TATTLER.
The Leak" investigation hearings have
attracted a large number Of women, who
have brought their knitting and lunches
| to the scene of action and sat right down
on the job. That is, when seat could
be found. But trust women for getting
what they want, When the chairs give
out in the big caucus room where the
hearings are being held in the House
Office Building, the women rambie down
the halls and into the Office. of the first
amiable looking Congressman they see.
and take almost from under him the
chair In which he sits attending to the
nations business.
Thank you SO much" they murmur,
as they one-step to the door, leaving
behind the astonished Congressman
sitting on his radiator, staring helplessly
at his secretary perched, on the table
above.
I On the day that Lawson told the right
| names" of those whom he had so darkly
hinted at, and sprung sensation after
sensation for the delectation of the
spectators, one of the women became so
excited that she separated herself from
her chair and finally accomplished the
feat of reaching the raised stand on
which the Rules Committee sat. Dropping
quietly down. she stretched full length,
l ana WOrnuiS herself COfnpietciy
the table poked her head out between
the feet of Representative Patton, of New
York, member of the investigating COM
mittee and peered straight into Mr..
| Lawson's face. e 4 G
! Mr. Patton one of the most dignified
members of the House and always the
Iquintessence of elegance. was plainly en-
barrassed and annoyed, and as ne was
questioning Mr.. Lawson at the time,
found 1t difficult to keep his feet off the
womans face and his eyes on Lawson's.
He kept on moving closer to DIR. Foster,
of Illinois his next-door neighbor on the
committee, until he nearly sat in his lap.
However, he could be seen to heave
sigh of relief when he found that the fe-
male acrobat had Strengthened herself
up. and was resting her back against his
neighbor on the right.
| AS l passed out of the caucus room
few minutes later, heard a woman say
to a handsome old gentleman at her back.
who looked prosperous enough to have
owned the whole of Wall Street: Would
you mind holding my seat while l get
a drink of water?
The stranger promptly sat down with
an amused smile.
On the square now, aren't women
funny7
Representative William Kettner, of
california, better known in his district
bill Ket," has one of the most unique
but effective means OF getting his
measures through known to modern
statesmanship. If he wants a half
dozen big sixteen-Inch guns added to
the fortifications in his district, or a
million or so dollars appropriated for
his pet harbor of San Diego. he sends
a hurry call back homo, and there soon
come rolling across the continent sew
eral large packing cases filled with
mysterious tin cans. These tin cans
are loaded with ammunition for the
fray, but a peculiar sort OF ammuni-
tion that creates rather than destroys.
On their arrival. all the cold storage
space available at his hotel is pressed
into service and for the next week the
Hon. Bill Is busy dispensing the chilled
but delicious contents of the tin cans.
Did you ever eat a California ripe
olive, brown as a nut, juicy as peach,
and as big as good-sised plum-a
fruit that has spent its life under per-
Ipetual blue skies and ripened in a sun
light tempered by ocean breezesf Well,
those Cabinet heads and Senators and
lCongressmen who have would no more
Ioppose a proposition that affected its
native heath than they would think of
cutting off their proverbial noses. No
matter how deep down into Uncle
Sans jeans the Southern California
Congressman digs, they say with one
accord: "Is that for Bill Ket's dis
trict? Well, rush it through"
| Thus has San Diego been put on the
map. Before the arrival OF the Hon.
Bill, the members used to get it con-
fused with Santiago.
Naturally the folks back home think
he is a pretty big press agent and boost
er and on to his job in bringing home
the goods. They think he can do most
anything. During the campaign a visit
ing sufrragist in Bilrs district asked an
elevator boy one day who was plotting
her up a skyscraper whether Wilson
would carry the district He replied:
TT will be close fight. mann, but
Brudder Bill will pull him through"
|
Senator Walsh, of Montana, and his
| secretary were returning from a late
session Of the Senate one night by way
of the merry-go-round motor truck that
runs through the subway. This queer
though reputed to be luxurious-motor
makes a tremendous noise, and there is
nothing to do but to sit with your eyes
shut until you whizz through to the
other end.
! On this particular occasion, however,
unconscious of the din, two deaf mutes
sat on the front seat, talking at great
rate on their fingers. Senator Walsh
/
leaned over and yelled to his secretary:
Miles, they've got it on US, haven't
they?''
| But in a few minutes he followed II up
with, But we've got It on them in the
darkr'
| Il
| Gen. Isaac r. Sherwood, Member of
| Congress from Ohio. and one of the old
| est and best beloved men in the House
received from Toledo during the agita-
ton on national prohibition, "wet" petit
ton signed quite numerously, with the
| following comment:
| with this petition / send you some of
| the most wonderful whisky that ever in
| spired the lips of man. This whisky has
| been confined within its oaken casks for
ten eventful years, awaiting the oppor-
| tunity to promote the best efforts of
| human statesmanship
| 1T is the most inspiring OF any liquid
| tonic that ever drove the skeleton from
the feast or painted landscapes on the
| brain OF man. 1t is the mingled soul of
| wheat and corn. In 1t you will find the
sunshine that chases the flowers over the
billowy fields.
| "1mbfbe this whisky In naoderafs 1uan-