The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1917-12-14
DINNER STONES.

DINNER STONES. I
Buttonholed by an over-inqulsitive
reporter, Congressman Foss admin
istered neat rebpke.
How long do you think the war
will last ?" was the final question Of
long series asked by the inter-
very promptly the congressman
asked: How long Is a piece Of
The interviewer stared at him in
establishment.
If don't know" he graspcd.
Neither do L" said the Illinois
leader cordially. I'm glad we've
agreed about something. Good morn
ing"
Patriotism is a strong sinstinct in
the breast Of a certain elderly lady
who was much troubled at the failure
of three OF her nephews Ia enlist.
They were such stalwart, sturdy fell
lows that she was ashamed of them.
When strong hints had been received
in silence her patience became ex-
hausted. One day she sent a tele-
gram to each Of the three. These all
bore the same message: your coun-
try is calling. Wire reply III you
wish to borrow my ear trumpet"
he is now very proud of her three
lads in khaki"
It was a dun day in the trenches
and a bunch of Tommies had gather
ed aud were discussing events. After
a while the talk turned on q big
boche who had been captured the
nfphf hnf0ra
He was scared stiff." said one
Tommy.
Did he rum asked another.
RUM" replied the first. Why
If that boche had had jest one
feather in his hand he'd "a few"
Nothing appeals to the soldiers
sense of humor as strongly as the
physical eccentricities of his COM
rades. A tall, lean recruit had just
joined up in England. A sergeant
and lieutenant discussing him.
Els thin as a ramrod and-'e don't
the store" complained the sergeant.
Hell do to clean the rides, an
swered the lieutenant.
And oo's a-goin' to pull I'm
through" walled the sergeant in a.
defiant manner.
mo, Herbert" she said in low
tone, ''it is impossible. / fear to
trust my future with YOU"
And Why"
Il have watched your conduct
very closely. 1t lacks the mark of
such devotion as my soul Graves"
DO I not come to see you four
nights in the week"
r4aaN L h. InRa NaG 1rsNa- /
lating selfishness in your nature
which / fear"
What do you mean7"
You have never yet failed TO
leave in time to catch the last bus"
But that is 0nly common sense"
Il know ii is, Herbert, and, there
fore, it Is not love-"
One Of the released Sim Feiners
tells the following story. While ne
was in prison his wife wrote and
said that she was in great trouble
over the difficulty she experienced in |
getting her land dug up. The pris- |
oner at once saw his opportunity OF |
getting his own back at the expense 1
of the Saxon. and replied, telling her |
to ask certain neighbors to give her |
a helping hand, but to Re careful not |
to dig too deep. ITS arms and amIdu- |
milton were buried in his land. AS |
he well knew, the letter would be |
read by the authorities, who at once |
his land to be dug up by the /
police. They dug and dug, but found |
no arms. and at last gave up their |
job in despair The next letter he |
received from his wife informed him |
that the police had been and dug up |
his farm "illigant," and. what was |
more to the point, they never asked
for one penny for their labor!
81 cam" said the bashful young |
man to the director. of the film COM
pany, swim, dive, run ain auto, fly |
an airplane. fence. box, shoot, ride a /
horse, run a motorboat, play golf, |
fight, make love, fall OF cliffs, rescue |
heroines. play footbalk die naturally |
and kiss a girl"
But" interrupted the famous di-
rector, can you act?"
"Alas!" muttered the would-be |
screen hero. Il never thought of
that"
Engaged" growled the director,
and another screen hero was born.
The fortune teller was sending cold |
streams of horror down her victims
back, as she predicted the bad things
in store for him in the immediate
You win die in a year," she \
Kissed at last THAT line on your /
palm tells me sos
"Helpl" gasped the victim, it i
surely can't be as bad as that?"
AS I said" continued the seer,
you will die in year, but in what i
year can't exactly make out.
Beautiful Ernestine was sobbing
as though her heart would break.
What is IL. dear?' asked her girl
friend
@W-why," she sobbed. Il t-told
Jack, after he proposed. toNgo up and
see papa"
What Of THAR"
why, they. started playing cards.
and now he goes up to see papa ev-
erv night