The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-16
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

mate that l have ever been a spotter, but just plain. ordinary observer.
 As a class, conductors are well worth 1 studying, from the one who runs a freight/to the one who walks down the aisle of twentieth century flyer Be- tween the two there is as much differ ence i'll department and dress as there IS between the country man and the city | man.
 | It is just as hard to tell by looking fellow as it is to try and choose be- tween the average farmer and the aver age banker as to who has within his breast more of the milk of human kind ness. But I hear somebody say that the farmer Is always obliging and that no l This is not always the case. I have met | a few bankers who had a heart in them | and could be touched, and when a boy have had to run from farmers be- cause they were sicking dogs on me for being in their orchards or watermelon or cane patches.
 1 It's hard to look at men and pick out the one that is readiest to do you a I know this started out to be a story about conductors, but I am going to bring in gatekeepers. In spite of their stony indifference some of them are really human and have been known to be civil and accommodating
 
 I I have a friend who Is a big man in ] business and used to walking into the presence of bankers without taking off | in to see some of the biggest executives | without sending in a card, but that never yet has he been able to impress I his personality sufficiently on a gate keeper to get by to meet friend. He asked me if I had ever been able to do | it. I proudly answered yes What is your system?" he asked Simple enough" I replied.
 l I realize that all I would have to do would be to say I am newspaper man | and walk in but that would be too tame, so I went to work and thought out a scheme, and I am going to give 1t way knowing full well that it will hereafter prevent me from using it. Here'it is: I go up and ask the gatekeeper in a confidential way: Pardon me- but are you a married man?" and if the answer is yes, I proceed by saying: Then I know you will understand what I am up against, my mother-in-law told me to meet her" That's all. but I will give you my word of honor as a preacher every mothers son of them have always replied: "Go right In and get her off," I fooled away a lot of time with the gate keeper but unless you get by him you won't 'have any chance to study conductors. At the outset let me say there are conductors and conductors, and then your Uncle Tom Hobart, the dean of them all, who is nearly as well known between here and Decatur as IS Milton Smith, He has been with the Louisville and Nashville 45 years and Is a part of the system.
 
 I have seen some conductors in the old days who were downright mean; they seemed to take joy in being rude and unaccommodating, but they are learned that one conductor with a grouch can pretty near put his run on l the bum, and so courtesy has been found l to be both a good and paying asset, and 1 it is required
 l l happened to be travelling some years back with an army officer who was treated uncivilly by a conductor The army officer never batted an eye, but when he got off the train wrote to the general passenger agent reporting the | lncideet and waited. In less than a week 1 the conductor was pulled off of his run and accompanied by the district pas- senger agent called upon the army of ficer. The D. F. A. stated that the l road would fire the conductor unless his apology was accepted. He apologized and it was accepted. The army officer had the routing of large bodies of troops and as there were competing lines the railroad had to take note of it or lose the business. Conductors ought to be reported for incivility but | on the other hand when a conductor goes out of his way to be nice to you, it might help him and the service to re. port him for civility It's a poor rule that won't work both ways, yet I know a lot of folks that will nearly kick them selves to death but who never feel un- der any obligation whatever to show appreciation of courtesies extended by public servants.
 Just recently I was on train and ir a coach with a tired mother who evi. dently had spent the night on the train with her little child. got on about day light. How my heart went out tc her as the baby fretted. I could see that she was nearly ready to scream She
 toughed it out as only a brave littl.
 mother can, and finally about noon sh, and the babe fell asleep. and soon the sun was streaming in on their faces
 but they slept Along came a conduc
 tor and taking in the situation wen
 over quietly and pulled down the shade
 and said old fellow you will get re-
 ported for kindness.
 
 A few weeks back was on a spiel
 and span train. the kind that resents i