The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1917-03-08
G | { A n / n 6 s
From Our EXCHANGES

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-"Mind your STEP is an excellent rule
of life.
1t is unwise to Judge man by the
criticism of his enemies, only his friends
| can properly denounce him.
old Dame-"Tenpenc a pound for
candies! That's very dear, amt it?
Grocer-'Yes, but, you see, they are
dearer now on account of the war;
Old Dame Tin surprise)-"Lor' a massy!
You don't say so. An be they a-fght'in
in candle-light nowl'
The mayor of tough border town is
about to engage a preacher for new
| church.
"Parson, you aren't by any chance a
Baptist, are your
"Why no, not necessarily. Why"
"Well, l was just a-goin' to say we have
| to haul our wafer twelve miles,
-"l am delighted to meet you,' said
the father of the college student. shaking
hands warmly with the professor. "My
son took algebra from you last year, you
know
"Pardon me- said the professor; che
was exposed to it but he did not take it,
The cat settled herself luxurious,y in
| front of the kitchen range and began to
purr. Little Dolly who was strange to the
ways of cats, regarded her with horror.
go gran ma, gran mar she cried. "Come
here quick. The cats begun to boil. -
1t was just after the Christmas dinner
and toasts were in order. The POSTMASTER
arose to introduce a prominent elderly
| speaker, as follows:
Gentlemen, you have just been given
your attention to turkey stuffed with sage.
| Now you will listen to a sage stuffed with
turkey.
Norman Mcleod was once preaching
in Scotch district where the reading of
sermon was regarded as the greatest fault.
When the congregation dispersed, an old
woman addressed her neighbor. "Did ye
ever hear anything sac grant, Was ma
that a sermon?' ooh, ay!" replied he
friend, sulkily; "but he read it," "Read
it?' said the other, with indignant emphasis,
81 wadna have cared if he had whustled it9''
| "A young clerk was called before the
manager to explain why he was doing his
work carelessly. "Mr. JONES'" said the
manager: "of late your work has been very
perfunctory." Just as he was going to ask
for an explanation, the young clerk broke
in. ''Mr. Smith, I've been working here
for three months now, and, though have
have received since I've been here. Thank
you
Kate Douglas Wiggin had the usual
troubles of playwright when her success
full play, "Rebecca of Sunny brook Farm
was first rehearsed. At one rehearsal when
she was sitting with friend in darkened
corner of the theatre, nervously waiting
while stage manager wrangled with the
producer, the sound of saw in active
operation came stridently to their ears
from that mysterious realm behind the
wings. "What on earth are they doing
now," exclaimed Mrs. Virgins friend
nervously. 81 don't know, I'm sure
Mrs. Wiggin said in despair. 'But they
are probably cutting out the last act
"A hungry customer seated himself at
table in restaurant and ordered chicken
pie. When it arrived he raised the crust
and sat gazing at this contents for awhile.
Finally he called the waiter. "Look here,
Sam,' he said: ''What did ordera"
"Chicken pie, SIR
'And what have you brought mel''
"Chicken pie, sir
Chicken pie, you rascall" the customer
replied. "Chicken pie! Why there is not
piece of chicken in it, and never was.''
"That's right, sir, there amt no chicken
in it,
"Then why do you call it chicken pier
l never heard of such thing"
"That's all right. There don't have to
be no chicken in a chicken pie There
amt no dog in dog biscuit, is therei''