The Washington herald., 1917-09-13
Good Morning Judge
Human Interest Stories of
Police Court Happenings.
BY RUDOLPH PERKINS.
Almost a DlstiIIery.

pinched and the boss man sent to
jail for sixty days. The place was
212 Twelfth place northeast, operated
by Harry Gallatin, friend of booze
fighters
The drunks used to hang around
this house like flies around sugar
and the neighbors kicked up a fuss
about the fuss and three big hand
some policemen. Wheelock, Williams
and Simms walked in while the souse
watched and nabbed the whole out
fit. The drunken man at the door
was too much under the weather to
notice what was coming of, although
he had special orders TO boiler Cor
poral of the Guard" IL anyone came
around without the password. Snuff.
Such Much.
NOW Jedge, All was separationed
from dis yere man. en- All tole him
neber to darken nah doah again. All
libbed peaceably 70 awhile. en- All
thought somefn was up, nah hus-
band stayed away 70 a whole day,
en- he kept real quiet, but de odder
day he cum aroun' en- wot he did to
me ledge, was a shame, he choked
me, he beat me, he slammed me In
de corner, he smached me in nah
face, he thowed things at me, he
kicked me, he bit me, he poked me
in nah eye and almost kilt me-"
SIS that all he did," asked Judge
Pugh, of Lizzie Crown, when Lizzie
had finished her story about Dennis,
her hubby.
81 should think that you had
enough of him for one time" said
the court Deed ledge, All has
enough of dat man 70 all de time,
answered Lizzie. Dennis had an eX-
PLANTATION but it wouldn't hold water
and Judge Pugh said NINETY days
with just as much ease as ninety
minutes.
Such a Change.
Two years ago, when It didn't cost
81 ,OO0, 900 to go to market and buy some
spinach, Joseph Millet and Carrie
Stokes slinked up to the preacher man
and told him their troubles. That Is,
their trouble at that moment. All
went well for one year and eleven
months. History tells of no stirring
events during that time. But for the
pa st month the storm clouds have been
gathering. and here last week someone
stuck a pin in the balloon. Who did
or why they did it doesn't count right
now, but what the court wanted to
know was who put coal oil In Carries
cold cream.
Carrie says she didn't do II and
Joseph said he didn't even know she
had any. You see how attentive he
has been.) Just the same, Carrie hit
Joseph over the occipital region of
the Uranium with a piece Of pressed
clay and the doctor sewed about a
half a sheet around it soon after. To
make matters worse Joseph shelled
out ten hard-earned dollars TO pay his
wife's fine for hitting him with some
one eise's brick.
Look whar Yo GwIne.
Just as she was about to turn around
to cuss another woman, Esther Jones
ran plump into a very stout party.
disarranged her couture, sOiled a
clean shirtwaist and got that individ-
ual worked up into an unholy rage.
These two argued, cussed, fought, bit,
clinched, tussled, walloped all over
the sidewalk for a few minutes. A
cop hove in sight on the horizon, and
to the surprise of onlookers that fat
one ran like deer. Esther was
nabbed.
She had a million explanations
ready, but the cop insisted that she
save them for the courtroom. This
cop was a little fellow, and Esther,
with her experience OF a few moments
ago, tried to make him take the count
She miscalculated. her foot slipped
and the first thing she knew she was
in the coop. She's worse of yet, be-
cause she is in for thirty long days
and nights.
And She StIu Loves Him.
At midnight Tuesday night, Bob
Gray entered the front door of his
home very quietly. His wife was
asleep and far be It from him TO
awaken her. But as he went to tiptoe
Upstairs he stumbled against a chair
in the hall, barked his shins.
cussed some, and went to bed. Just
as he was about to doze of. he
heard a noise-'Why in de h doan
70 mex a fuss when 20 comes in
de house anyhow"-after a pause,
CANT 20 see Aim asleep" "Ah
didn' go 70 to mex a noise" apollo
gized Bob. EFF 20 didn't run aroup'
wild women at nights 20 wouldn't
stump 20 self when 20 comes in,
replied his angry spouse.
Now that We have all the mate
rial for an explosion, lets have the
match. Bob yanks a razor strop
off the foot of his bed and gives
wiley what her mother gave her
when she was a youngster, a good
old fashioned thrashing. This peev-
ed the lady right smart and she
called in the officers Of the law
who removed Bob. The court took
Bob's personal bonds not to treat
his wife like a child anymore.
As Man to Man.
"Ah tole dis man, ledge, four or
fibe times All didn't want no ticker.
en- he said All mus come wild him
en- hab a slug, en- All did. en- den
he berries a dollar often me right
dere." Tom Biggs looked at Hugh
Stephen when he said this, but Hugh
turned his head the other way. de
odder day All axes him 70 nah
dollar continued Tom. en- he SEE,
Go to h en- All sez, All will wen
20 GIBBS me nah dollah, en- den he
hits me wild a piece OF pipe"
Hugh had no explanation other
than both had been soaking their
neauS III liquor anu ION ndu dShSN
him at the wrong time for the dol
lar. The court lectured Hugh
about treating friends in such a
| manner and then sent him to Oc-
| coquan for so long that Washing
| ton will be dry when he energies.
Misplaced Economy.
Ever since the war broke out Jesse
Remsen has been saving pennies,
nickels and dimes by putting them in
jelly glass. When he dropped
few jitneys in last pay day the glass
was full, and fastening the top on
he hid it under the mattress. BeinS
single man. he thought it was per-
fectly safe. They say walls have ears