The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1917-06-25
An Ineffective
Revenge
BY ALAN HINSDALE

adence or Mrs. van ArSdale, ana man
taking a photograph from 1t, carried
to the front door, Miss Birdie Val
Arsdale was sitting on the porch at tn
time and asked him what she could d.
for him. Presenting the monograph
he said:
II am introducing the burglar alarm
photograph. 1t is especially designed
for unprotected families and render!
other defenses unnecessary. II is con
nected electrically with such opening.
In the house as would be considered
available by burglar, wound ready
for use, and on his breaking the con
nection the clockwork is set going
The machine then addresses the bur
glar, who, finding his presence In the
house to be known, beats precipitate
retreat"
The prelude to such encomiums as q
drummer knows how to pour out upon
what he has for sale caused the young
lady to call out
Mother! Come here"
Mother came. The salesman repeated
what he had already said and contfn-
ued IKE trotting horse on an endless
track
IF the burglar is one of the desper.
ate kind any member of the family
who has been awakened by the phono-
graQh's first words may move slide
marked 'Shootv and the report of q
pistol will be heard. This Slide" point
ing to another, lis to call the police"
Mother and daughter exchanged
chances. They were deprived of mans
protection and never went to bed with
out poking canes and umbrellas under
their beds. Mr.. Van Arsdale was
obliged to spend his summers In the
city and was rarely with them. When
he came up he lay like watchdog on
a wire inclosed portion of the porch,
and his wife and daughter slumbered.
Mrs. Van Arsdale asked the price OF
one Of the monographs, drew check
for the 500 asked, and after the new
owner had been duly instructed the
drummer departed
1t was Saturday evening. Mr.. Van
Arsdale had written that he would not
be sble to spend the week end with his
family, and after the house was closed
for the night Mrs. Van Arsdale and her
daughter placed the photograph at the
top of the staircase leading down to the
front door. The salesman had put In
all the connections, and there was moth
ing to be done except make the attach
ments. These things having been at
tended to, the ladies went to bed, and
sleep and oblivion reigned over all.
Mr.. Van Arsdale changed his mind
and went home.
1t was just twenty minutes to II
when Mr.. Van Arsdale arrived at home
and stepped lightly on to his porch that
he might not awaken his wife and
daughter. His out of door bedding not |
being provided, he thought he would |
go upstairs stealthily and get 1t. In |
sorting his night key, he opened the
door and as he stepped into the hall |
felt his foot catch in some obstruction,
such as a fine wire or light string. |
What was his establishment to hear a
sonorous voice burst forth:
AHA You thought to get In here |
without our knowing it, did you? Adj
vance at your peril I've got the drop
on you! An inch further and you're
dead man !"
1t must be admitted that such a re-
ception on entering his own house had
a marked effect on Mr.. Van Arsdale
The only motion he made was throw
ing up of his hands. He could not see
the speaker. but he supposed the speak
er could see him, since he had declared
that he had the drop.
At the first challenge of the intruder
Mrs. Van Arsdale and Birdie both slid
out Of bed and made for the position
Of the monograph, reaching it Just as
the talking machine pronounced the
words "a dead man."
rs he going outT whispered Mrs.
Van Arsdale, shivering.
mo-" replied the daughter. Il think
I can hear him down there near the
loor."
Push the slide calling the police" {
Birdie felt for the slide, but. not be- I
ng able to see in the dark. struck the
wrong one. There was a shot, follow
ID by the words" Well, then, take
hatr'
Something was heard to drop in the .
lall below.
what have you done?" cried the
mother frantically. Il told you to .
move the slide calling the police!
you've killed himr' a
why, mother, it wasn't real shot.
I couldn't hurt any one" n
The Imagination is powerful-at least Fl
fr. Van Arsdale found 1t so, for on "
fearing the shot he felt a shock; his o
nees gave way and let him down. b
When he heard his wife accusing his II
aughter Of having killed him, not feel y
1g at all dead, he called out in hts 81
wn true voice:
what In thunder is all this aboutf' =
why. it's papar' cried Birdie. "
"oh. Henry, are you killed. 1 mean N,
re you frightened to deathT La
II reckon that's about it-frightened a,
, death. Who's there to do the shoot CO
lgT" 70
There was an explanation. Mr.. Van G.
rsdale turned on the lights and saw
ie photograph. He spoke no word; I'll
NJ. striding out TO the tool closet, he pt
-asped an ak and, returning. made te