The twice-a-week Twin Falls times. (Twin Falls, Idaho) 1916-1918, 1917-12-11
SAYS SATAN TO THE KAISER

when LOUIS OyDelhIOp Ol 0IcSioHi
Iowa. wrote the satire on Kaiser VIII
helm which follows, he little thought
il would attract the attention which
it has. Requests for copies have come
to him from Theodore Roosevelt, Sec
rotary of the Navy Daniels, Secretary
to the President Tumulty and other
notables. The article is III the form
of a letter from his Satanic Majesty
to his human prototype. 1t says;
To Wilhelm Won Hohenzollern, King
of Prussia, Emperor of all Germany
and envoy extraordinary of AL
mighty God.
My Dear Wilhelm: l call you by
that familiar name. for l have always
been very close to you-much closer
than you could ever know.
From the time that you were yet
an undeveloped being in your mothers
womb have l shaped your destiny for
my purpose.
In the days of Rome | created
roughneck known in history as Nero.
He was a vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time.
In these modern days Of classic demon
and efficient supernatural was need
ed. and as | knew the Hohenzollern
blood | picked you as my special in
strument to place on earth an annex
of hell. | gave you abnormal ambi-
ton likewise an Oversupply OF ego
tism that you might not discover your
own failings; / twisted your mind to
that of a mailman with certain normal
tendencies to carry you by, a most
dangerous character placed in power.
| gave you the power of a hypnotist
and a certain magnetic force that you
might sway your people. am re
sponsible for the deformed arm that
hangs helpless on your left, for your
crippled condition embitters your life
and destroys all noble impulses that
might otherwise cause me Anxiety
but your strong sword arm is driven
by your ambition that squelches all
sentiment and pity; | placed IN your
soul a deep hatred of all things Eng
lish for of all nations on earth l hate
England most; wherever England
plants her flag she brings order out OF
chaos and the hated cross follows the
Union Jack; under her rule wild tribes
become tillers of the soil, and in due
time practical citizens; she is the
great civilizer of the globe and
HATE HER. | planted in your soul a
cruel hatred of your mother because
OI1h Was ILil6 AloAAf eAAA wv ~ o.
friend Bismark to fan the flame / had
kindled. Recent history proves how
we'll our work was done. 1t broke
your royal mothers heart, but | gained
my purpose.
The inherited disease of the Hohen-
zollerns killed your father, just as it
will kill you, and you became the ruler
of Germany and a tool of mine soon
er than l expected.
To assist you and further hasten my
work, l sent you three evil spirits
Nietzshe, Tritschke and later Bern
hardt-whose teachings inflamed the
Youths of Germany, who in good time
would be willing and loyal subjects
and eager to spill their blood and pull
your chestnuts, yours and mine; the
spell has been perfect-you cast your
ambitious eyes toward the Mediter-
ranean, Egypt, India and the Darda-
nelles and you began your great rail-
way to Bagdad, but the ambitious
archduke and his more ambitious wife
stood in your way. 1t was then that
l sowed the seed in your head that
blossomed into the assassination OF
the duke and his wife, and all hell
smiled when il saw how cleverly you
saddled the crime on Serbia l saw you
set sail for the fiords of Norway, and
l knew you would prove an alibi. How
cleverly done, so much like your noble
grandfather who also secured an as
sassin to remove old King Frederick
of Denmark, and later robbed that
country of two provinces that gave
Germany an opportunity to become a
naval power Murder is dirty work
but it takes a HohenZollern TO make
away and get by.
Your opportunity was at hand; you
set the world on fire and bells OF hell
were ringing; your rape on Belgium
caused much joy. 1t was the begin
ming, the foundation of a perfect he'll
on earth the destruction of noble
cathedrals and other infinite works OF
art was hailed with joy in the infer
nal regions.
You made war on friends and foe
N