Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1917-11-23
My Hypothetical
Wife
A Story of Preparation
For War
By F. A. mitchell

While driving through the country |
came upon a house situated in a yard
| filled with shrubs and flowers in which
a sign was hung, as follows: "SchooI
of Matrimony."
school of Matrimonyw l repeated
to myself. surely there is something
interesting behind that sign. | will
| go in and see what it is"
| found a middle aged, intellectual
looking man, who introduced me to his
| wife, a comedy woman, who excused
herself, leaving me alone with her hus-
band. Before quitting the DON she
spoke a few words to him, and l no
ticed that, though what she had to say
was of ordinary character, there was
something in her tone and manner
that denoted a deep affection for him.
Seeing your sign, sir" l said to the
gentleman-Mr. Larramore was his
name-"I have called to learn what 1t
means"
Are you meditating matrimony?' he
asked.
well yes. Every man meditates
matrimony except those who are mar
ried, and many of those mediate di-
| vorce."
1T is that diyorce-I mean divorce
| between couples with no well founded
| reason for separation-which my wife
and / undertake to prevent by educat-
ing those about to be married in the
| dangers which they are sure to en-,
| counter during the early days of wed
ded life"
"Will you state your educational
planY" / asked.
Certainly; there is nothing secret
In 1t. By attending divorce couft pro-
ceedings my .wiso-and nave collected
a Qarge number of reasons why cou-
pies drift into what Is commonly called
incompatibility. On these reasons or
incidents we have constructed tables
showing that the greatest number of
breaks which occur between two nor
NAL, we'll intending married persons
take place within three years after
marriage. From that time they dimin-
ish rapidly. The most difficult period
for them to get over is from the third
to the tenth month of welded life. We
instruct our pupils in the dangers they
are liable to meet during these critical
months. Those which follow are but
a repetition of those that have been
incurred before. Those who know the
perils they are to meet have a far bet
ter chance of resisting them than those
who meet them without having been
prepared for them"
do your courses consist simply of
verbal instruction, or do your pupils
receive practical Instruction.
1--WE deliver lectures, I to men, my
wife to women, but we have a co-edu-
catiye course wherein couples hypo-
thetically married are carried through
most quarrels. During the quarrels
they use their own judgment as to
wherein either one or the other is in
error, the instructor correcting them
from time to time, pointing out the
dangers of certain acts during trying
moments or suggesting methods liable
to bring about immediate r~econcilia-
tion."
81 think" 1 broke in at this part,
that I will enter myself in your acad-
envy as a student on the co-education
plan"
Having been accepted as a pupil, l
paid my tuition fee, and after attend
ing the lectures for a couple of weeks
Mr.. Larramore showed me a number of
~ III Indind from
whom / might select a dummy wife. I
bounced upon a pretty girl whose ap-
pearance denoted amiability and APP
piled for her. It happened that she
was not engaged. l was introduced to
her, and our drill was commenced. /
was handed a printed slip which read
as follows:
my dear, when / married you / sup
posed / was marrying you alone. /
had no intention of marrying your
family"
1 was instructed by Mr.. Larramore
to speak these words angrily to my
dummy wife. / did so, and despite the
the hot blood mount to her cheek. She
made no reply, for the instructor inter-
posed.
"Those words should not have been
uttered" he said, though they may
have been felt. When a man marries
a woman, in a sense he marries her
| family-that is to say, he cannot ig-
nore them. Whatever is near and dear
| to her must be treated with considera-
ton by him. If some old maiden aunt
| addresses him on first meeting him by
| his first name he may writhe within,
but outwardly he should act as if the
| lady and he had been brought up as
aear relations"
Him. 1 remarked. Are my wife's
relatives one of the dangers of matri-
mony?"
"One of the principal ones" replied
| our teacher.
.-G -