davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Modern.

My potato" he howled passionate ly, throwing himself on his knees be- fore her, do not taunt me thus Let me look into thine orbs, shining like radishes set in bed of the finest leafmold. and see truth revealed there in Oh, do not send me away. l im- plore you. My parsnip-my onion, my tnrnip-top. my holy little leek :"
 She rose to her feet
 "Slug !" she hissed Wireworm Allotment thief You dare to come to me with vain compliments? But can see through you. You call me chaste potato, while at the same time, copying the ways of the murderous green fly, you seek to pull me down to your own vile and stagnant level Begone,"
 And he went.-London Ideas.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Have a Private Latch Rev.

A teacher in an Indiana schools says that she used to think there was chance for careful. sanitary folk to es- animation recently she has given up hope. In this examination the question was asked
 What are bacteria. and how do they enter the body?'
 And one eighth-grade pupil gave the discouraging answer:
 Bacteria is germs, and they get into the human body by means of rusty nail. l."-Indianapolis News.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Ready for Rest of It.

Mir. Curd is inclined to pessimism, particularly i'll the morning. At all times De looks upon the works of the boarding house cook with suspicion.
 Wouldn't you like nice stew this morning?n inquires the waitress.
 Nav :"
 We have porlchopmuttonchop enbacQnhamenaggst
 "NaW-w P
 Let me bring you a nice fried sole - she persisted.
 Sure. you might as well bring the sole" he snarled. Il ate the uppers yesterday"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
He Mas Sorry He Spoke.

"Why, you women ought to he thank full that you do not live in foreign countries, where they yoke up women with mules and make them pull to- gether." said rough opponent of wom- an suffrage to gentle, but stron- minded suffragist.
 You are married, are you not?" she asked
 "Yes :" he snapped.
 Well" she rejoined, then foreign countries are not the only ones In which women are yoked with mules"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
STOP CAL0mEl! TAKE
 D0DS0N'S LIVER TONE
New Discovery! Takes Place of Dangerous Caome- Puts Your Liver To Work Without Making You SCk-Eat Anything It Can Not
 SaIuate-Dont Lose Days Work

days work I want to see a bottle of this won- derful liver medicine in every home here.
 Calomel is poison-it's mercury-it attacks the bones, often causing rheumatism. Calomel is dan- gerous. It sickens-while my Dodsons Liver Tone is safe, pleasant and harmless. Eat any thing afterwards because 1t can not salvate. Give 1t to the children because it doesn't upset the stom ach or shock the liver. Take a spoonful tonight and wake Up feeling fine and ready for full days work.
 Get bottlel Try tl If it doesn't do exactly what say, tell your dealer to hand your money back. Every druggist and store keeper here knows me and knows of my wonderful discovery of vegetable medicine that takes the place of danger ous calomel-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
A Ready-Witted Parson.

The evening lesson was from the Book of Job and the minister had just read: Yea, the light of the wicked shall be put out" when immediately the church was in total darkness.
 Brethren" said the minister with scarcely moments pause. "in view of of this prophecy, we will spend few minutes in silent prayer for the cleo trie lighting company. Boston Tran script.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
BrolIuht if Back

Josiah" said Mrs. Hawbuck, "T were in New York"
 .'I did, Martha" was the humble re- ply. but I guess It was only because none Q them sharpers had any use for it."
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
That Solemn Expression.

Two sailors were coming along the sidewalk just as a newly married cou- pie came out of the church to enter an automobile. Said one sailor: There goes another poor devil launched upon the sea of matrimony."
 Yes" said the other. "and he looks as If he expected to strike mine any minute. ."-Boston Transcript
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
HAVE SOFT, WHITE HANDS
Clear Skin and Good Hair by Using
 Cuticura-TriaI Free.

The Soap to cleanse and purify. the Ointment to soothe and heal. Besides these fragrant. super-creamy emol- llents prevent little skin troubles be- coming serious by keeping the pores free from obstruction. Nothing better at any price for all toilet purposes.
 Free sample each by mail with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. l., Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Whenever You Need a General Tonic
 Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tasteless chill Tonic is equally valuable as Gen eral Tonic because it contains the well known tonic properties of QUININE and IRON. It acts on the Liver. Drives out Malaria. Enriches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System. 50 cents.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
OLD-FASHIONED FLOWERS

There should be a corner in the home garden for the old-fashioned flowers so loved by our grandmothers and mothers The fragrant pink and sweet william, the warmed mari gold, the scented m!gnonette, the state ly wall flower and the sweet alyssum that so often encircles all the others with its snowy border.
 How they each and every one flash into our hearts memories of other days and of lovely faces now gone, and how they inspire us to higher and better life
 Use the forcing frame 1t Is useful in hurrying things along.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Ugh 1!

He started to take nap in the bar. Der chair but awoke with q terrible start.
 Have bad dream, sir" asked the sympathetic barber.
 You bet l did l dreamed the boy was backing my white shoes"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
At the Summer Resort.

Stella-Hello. Frank.
 Bella-Now, there you go calling him Frank I am his fiancee and I want you to understand. dearie. that am the only one around here who has the Franking privilege.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
The roubie.

"Whatca looking so blue about, old top?"
 oh, my wife wants more clothes, though til the year her wardrobe has been oversubseribed."
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Advancing Civilization.

As proof that civilization is ad vanclng, it may be pointed out that African traders, who used to supply Uganda with rum. calico, brass wire and beads are now doing flourish ing trade in wrist watches.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Innuendo.

q took first prize at the dog show, '' remarked Flubdub.
 What were you entered as?" in- quired WOmbat with an irritating smirk-Kansas City Journal.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

II is all right 10 conserve food by eating corn, if we do not dine too often with the chickens.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
RED CROSS BALL BLUE

Insures snowy white beautiful clothes on washday. Buy Red Cross Blue, not just cheap liquid blue which makes your clothes greenish yellow. Red Cross Ball Blue large packages cost only cents. All good grocers sell it.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Don't Poison Baby.

ORTY YEARS AGO almost mother PAREIORIC a FEW MANY will produc the FROM WHICH THERE Manyar the enwho killed morphine, which product Druggists prohibited selling anybody without labelling medicine produces conUusons and smell medicines of Cerdia Soothing Syrup should medicine children O is CASTORIA NOT
 CONTAIN NARCOTICS if it bears the signature -H of Fletcher. ~ <X(Nx-A the e<Iz<2T ZEIX
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Couldn't Be More So.

.Ts that woman fitting companion for my wife,"
 Certainly she is she's her dress maker"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Wives are more liberal than hus- bands. The wife who has Il mind of her own is apt to give Ter husband Il piece of it.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Not Worth Foolinu.

Harper-You can't fool all Of the people all of the time
 Sharper-I don't want tA Lots of people haven't any money.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

The reason the big fish always gets away Is because he is usually cleyerer than the fisherman.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Love isn't blind. A girl in love can see ten times more in the object of her affection than anyone else can.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Most Probable.

May-Jack has an airship now.
 Fay-Yes, I know. He promised to drop in when he gets around our way
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Conserve!

Morgiana poured oil on the forty thieves.
 "What waste of fat in war times, '' we protested.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Trainino for "Punch."

An English youngster was asked to give Il definition of He.
 Its Hun truth. sir" he answered.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

The only difference between med ding and investigation is that we al ways investigate and the other fellow meddles.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

What the kaiser can't get he Is will Ing that others shouldn't have.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Love at first sight may eventually cause the victims to wish they had consulted an oculist.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

A man may speak several languages and still not be able to say anything worth listening to.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
At the Woman Tailor's.

"Whats all the excftementte
 .oh, there's pretty girl in that tail bring place having fit. ;"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Some men drink for the shakes and others shake for the drinks.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
NO MALARiA-No cHlLLS.

Plantation" Chill Tonic is guaranteed to drive away Chills and Fever or your money refunded Price 5oc.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
THIS IS THE AGE OF YOUTH.

You will look ten years younger if you darken your ugly. grizzly. gray hairs by using La Creole" Hair Dressing Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
SAVE A DOCTORS BILL

by keeping Mississippi Diarrhea Cor dial handy for all stomach complaints. Price 25c and 50c.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

If life were such an important mat ter death would not be the common end of all.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
The Lost Words.

T shan't waste any words on you If you use any at all on ne you will"
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

The fellow who marries the woman who never smiles need not expect Il time on the matrimonial sea.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
DON'T GAMBLE

that your hearts all right Make sure Take "Renovine"-a heart and
 nerve tonic. Price 50o and S1.00.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

It is the easiest thing in the world to apologize, especially when you don't mean it.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
 OutcIassed.

Does your dog ever growl?"
 "No. He knows that my husband has him hopelessly outclassed."
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

No Chance for Him Even Then. Does your husband talk in his sleep?H
 Yes, but then he never gets the best of me. So do l."
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

World in 1916 produced 566,647. 762 tons of raw silk.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Spartan Women Suffered Untold Tortures but who wants to be Spartan? Take "Femenlna" for all female disorders. Price soc and $1.0O.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Everybody believes in signs when he pays 10 cents to get into the side show.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Logic proves or disproves all things, but accomplishes not any of them.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

United States army has bought 4,00O Lewis machine guns.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

If worrying would keep woman thin, there would he no fat women.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Very truly yours,
Oct. 26, 1916. Alanreed, Texas Prove What Swamp-Root Wifi Do For Yot

Send ten cents to Dr Kilmer & Co.,, Binghamton, N Y, for sample size bottle. It will convince anyone. You will also receive booklet of valuable information, telling about the kidneys and bladder. When writing, be sure anc mention this paper Regular ffty-cent and one-dollar size bottles for sale at al drug stores.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02

Italy in 1916 produced f,4S5.S27 tons of sugar beets.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Granulated EyclidS.

Amsterdam has 62s,4o3 inhabitants.
The Monticellonian., 1917-08-02
Splendid Medicine For Kidneys, Liver
 and Blades

For the past twenty years I have been acquainted with your preparation. Swamp Root, and all those who have had occa sion to use such medicine praise the merits of Dr. kilmers Swamp Root; spe clally has it been very useful in cases oi catarrh or inflammation of the bladder. hrmly believe that it is very valuable medicine and recommendable for what ii IS intended.
 Very truly yours,
 DR. J. A. CoPPEDGE, 0ot 1orc
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
STATE BANKS ASKED
TO ENTER RESERVE

Washington June 3. ~ The Council
Of National Defense appealed to state
defense councils to urge state banks
ana trust companies to enter the fed
eral reserve system Matchmaking OF
the banks was recommended as the
coUntrys patriotic duty.
while at the present time all ma
tional banks are members of the sys.
tenn" said The appeal less than Toe
state banks and trust companies have
come in.
As a result approximately two.
thirds of the country's banks are non.
member banks and the federal reserve
system, which is the bulwark of the
country's financial rcsponsiblity these
times of stress. lacks not only two
thirds of the banks of the country. but
also about one-half of its banking re.
sources"
The defense council pointed out ad.
vantaees to be derived by state banks
as members of the reserve system.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
SENATE BODY 0. KS
TAX ON ADVERTISING

Washington. June 5.-After several
hours of discussion OF how newspa-
pers, magazines and other publica
tions shall be taxed for war purposes
the senate finance committee adopted
a resolution against increasing sec
ond class postage rates and in favor
of levying a direct fiat per cent tax
on advertising receipts.
The decision was tentative, but ii
is expected TO be final.
Only one member of the commit
tee voted against the resolution, the
vote was merely TO gain a concrete
expression of committee sentiment
and to that extent was tentative. 9th
er senators, however, stated that with
such an overwhelming vote it was be
lieved that the per cent advertising
tax would be finally adopted. Revenue
Of 100000 is estimated.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
SAYS ALL AMERICAS
WILL FIGHT KAISER

Baltimore, June John Barrett
director general of the Pan-American
union i'm a speech here before a Lib
erty loan mass meeting, predicted that
within a year all nations of the Amer
icas will be fighting together against
Germany
'1f Brazil enters the conflict, as to-
day seems assured" he said, two
thirds of the entire population and
five-eighths of the total area of the
Western hemisphere will be at war
with the common enemy.
THAT the entire Western hemi-
sphere will be directly engaged in the
war before another year is most prob
able. Basing conclusions on the con-
sistent attitude of the Latin-American
press and the expressed opinion of
Latin-American statesmen, there is no
question whatever that 1t now looks
as if events would inevitably cause all
South American republics TO align
themselves with the United States
and it's European allies and even take
such steps as will be equal to a
declaration of war"
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
MOB TRIES TO STORM JAIL
Attempt to Release MICHIGAN Anti
Draft Asitstors.

Marquette, Mich. June John
Saikkel. Finn, ana Pietro Pietre. an
Italian labor agitator, were arrested
at Negaunee, Mich, a mining city
near here, for making alleged incen
diary remarks at an anti-conscription
mass meeting The meeting was held
following a parade in which many
miners and other craftsmen took part
Later several hundred men and boys
gathered about the city Jail and at
tempted to release the two prisoners.
Fearing an attempt would be made
to rush the jail United States mar.
shals and police officials hurried the
prisoners into automobiles under
armed guards and brought them TO
the county Jail at Marquette, where
they viii be held for examination be
fore United States Commissioner
Schultheis.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
FIRE DESTROYS BIG
RUSSIAN ELEVATORS

Petrograd, June 5.-Forest fires In
the Mink region have already burned
over 1000 acres. destroying $1,000 000
bushels of wheat and the big elevators
at Sartoff, according to word received
here
The fires are believed to be of incen.
diary origin
The provisional cabinet met at the
home of former Minister of Commerce
Kornolaff, pleading with him to with
draw his resignation.
Premier Lvoff wept in parting from
the former cabinet member as he re
fused.
The official journal of the work.
mems and soldiers council announced
that confscation of money and prop
erty may be necessary. owing to the
slow progress made in securing sub
scriptions to the Russian liberty loan
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05

EUROPEAN GRAIN DEMANDS
Allies Require More Than United
States Can Supply.

Washington, June 5.-The grain re.
quirements of the allies and the Euro
pean neutrals were put at 971 600, 600
bushels, a total much greater than the
United States can supply, in state
ment by Herbert G. Hoover, listing the
minimum needs OF each nation for hu-
man consumption and for feed
1T will be impossible. of course. for
North America to furnish all this
quantity. although the major load
must fall on us, Mr.. Hoover said. I'm
any event, it emphasizes the necessity
for control of exports to control prices
and protect our supply and the neces
sity for conservation and elimination
of waste to increase the volume of our
exports"
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
BIG GERMAN GRAIN CROP
Dry Weather viii Bring Harvest at
Usual Time.

Copenhagen, June 5.-The German
crops now show a fairly satisfactory
condition, according to German re-
ports, particularly in Southern and
Western Germany.
The hot, dry weather during May
the driest May in sixteen years, with
rainfall barely half of the normal
brought on the grain crop so rapidly
that the farmers in Southern and
Western Germany are reckoning upon
the harvest at the usual date, notwith'
standing the greatly belated spring.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
THOUSANDS IN ATTENDANCE
Confederate Veterans in Annual Re.
union at Washington.

Washington, June 5.-On the eve OF
the formal opening of their annual
reunion Confederate veterans TO the
number of several thousand had ar
rived here and special trains from
throughout the South sWelled their
ranks. The throng included, in addi-
tion to the veterans. the United
Daughters of the Confederacy, United
Sons of Confederate Veterans and
many visitors
The nations capital presents a
unique appearance. with large mum
bers of veterans in their faded uni
forms. mingling with smartly clad
young soldiers in Khaki
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
ALLIES ARE ON LAST LEGS
View Expressed by Crown Prince of
Bavaria.

Amsterdam, June 5.-The Lokal An
zeiger publishes a speech by the Ba-
varian crown prince to the Thirty
fifth East Prussian division, which sus,
tanned the first British assaults on the
Arras front. The crown prince asserts
that the division stopped an assault
of greatly superior foes and drove tn,
enemy back in successful counter at
tacks. The crown prince continues
THE enemy is making his last eff
forts. He must finish the fight be
cause he cannot continue any longer
owing to his losses and the distress OF
England caused by our heroic sub
marines"
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
AS GUESTS OF THE NATION
italian War Commission Touring
American Cities.

Washington, June members of
the Italian war mission are on a tour
of American cities, where elaborate re
ceptions have been planned
Tuesday was spent in Atlanta and
Birmingham, Wednesday will be spent
in New Orleans, Thursday in Mem
phis, Friday in ST. Louis and Burling-
ton, Ia, Saturday in Chicago. Next
week they will visit Pittsburg and
Harrisburg, Pa. New York and Phila-
delphia and then will return to Wash
ington for final conferences with gov
ernment officials.
The visitors will travel in a spe-
cial train provided by the state de-
partment and will be guests of the ma
ton.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
TRAINING FORCE OF NURSES
Seventh Day Adventists Plan to Do
Bit in War.

Washington, June 5.-Seventh Day
Adventists are preparing to do their
bit in the war through force of men
and women trained in first aid and
emergency nursing work. An an.
nouncement by Seventh Day Advent
headquarters here said that hundreds
of students in sanatoriums and col
leges under it's control are already re-
ceiving instructions in these courses
and that before the end of summer
several thousand probably would be
enrolled
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05
FOUR MEN ARE
UNDER ARREST
Federal Authorities Find Ger
man Spy Plot.
OTHERS WILL BE TAKEN

Quartet Already in Custody Said to
Be Minor Figures in Mail and Wire
less Sceheme TO Send information to
Assist the Enemy.
New York, June with four men
under arrest who are alleged to be
only minor figures in a conspiracy to
transmit information of military value
from the United States to Germany
through regular mail channels federal
authorities intimated further arrests
might result in disclosures of a Ger
man spy system.
Apparently the government officers
hoped they would uncover an eXplana-
tion of how Germany knew in advance
OF the approach of American destroy
ers to the British coast SO that an
Irish port could be mined.
THE charges against them at pres
ent." j. c. Knox, United States dis
trict attorney, said, is that of com
peting with the government by carry
ing mail in opposition to the govern
ment."
Mr. Knox said that the charge
might be changed to treason.
Two of the men are said to be
American born. the third a naturalizet
citizen OF Switzerland, and the foartf
the son of a German army captain
Examination of a quantity of mai
seized by federal agents indicated
transmission of information on steam
ships to Mexico and thence possibl
by wireless to Germany
Eleven bags and suitcases fille'
with documents and letters are unde
| examination
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1917-06-05

Rouse ALREADY Having acted taVora-
bly, Upon Proposed Legislation the
Amendments Added by Senate viii
Now Be Taken Up for Consideration.
Washington, June 5:-The first of
the administration food bills, already
passed by the house, passed the sen
ate without record vote.
Numerous amendments were at
tached to the measure. which provides
for a food survey and crop stimula
ton, and it was sent to conference.
where the differences will be threshed
out while the two houses are corsid-
ering the second administration meas
ure, providing for food control and
price fixing.
The bill as finally accepted by the
senate. provides for a comprehensive
survey of food resources and for the
stimulation of agriculture and restricts
drastically the storing of foodstufs
fuel and other necessities and spccu
lation in futures
The restrictive provisions were add
Cd by the senate The bin carries a
total appropriation of approximately
S1lQ00.000, compared with s14,770. 600
as it passed the house
Hoarding or storage of food, fuel or
Other ncCessaries of life to limit the
supply or affect prices would be made
a felony under the senate boarding
amendment, but farmers who hold
their own products are excepted.
An amendment by Senator Knntt
Nelson of Minnesota empowers tht
president to suspend speculation il
wheat and other food cereals in which
food prices are unreasonable. Ii was
passed by the senate. 37 to IL.
In supporting his amendment Sen
ator Nelson called attention TO wha
| happened recently when the Chicago
exchange shut down on dealing in fu
tures. The price fell from 80 to 81
cents, a bushel. he said
This convinced him the remedy 70
undue high prices is to stop specula
/ ton