Williams news., 1917-01-25

goes to ScnOOl ana acquires ol fees and notice and various kinds
 of success in his class when na- ture gives way under the strain just behind his ears, and the consequences are horrible in the extreme. l know, because I was that kind of a fresh man and I had that kind of trouble, and was operated upon for it by my elders and betters. It was a success full operation. Most of them are. But 1t makes me writhe still to think of it. Of all the cruelties on this savage old earth the custom of operating upon freshman for domus balloonicus, with out giving him ether, is the most heart less and inhuman. The Humane so- ciety ought to broaden its scope very little so that it could take in freshmen and give them the protection of animals.
 Looking back from this period of riper wisdom, I can see every excuse for the freshman whose hatband breaks with a loud crack along in the winter term. Freshmen are young some of them inconceivably young. The bones of the head, you know, are soft and elastic in the very young. They haven't the stern resisting power of the older noodle cases. You take a seventeen-year-old freshman with wide sutures in his green young skull and i'll his head full of compliments and responsibilities and admiration and success; churn these all up and mix them with a few cigarettes and little spare time in which to think about himself, and what is the result? The mess begins to ferment and put pres sure on the skull. And what happens then? That young chaps head begins to expand and swell and get vast and bulbous and full of gas, and it leaks down into his conversation, and pres ently he is firmly convinced that if you were to set him in the center of darkest Africa and let him talk for a few hours the monkeys would be wear Ing dark glasses and quoting Latin.
 It isn't the freshman's fault. It's a disease of his youth. I have no pa tience with the people who think that when young fellow of eighteen gets to making funny noises about himself and stands around on the horizon wait ing for science to come and determine his height by triangulation he is going to be lifelong annoyance and ought to be drowned like a superf1uous pup py. It isn't the first time in his life that he has been loud and unnecessary, and if he goes into politics it will not be the last time. Of course, he is a very great nuisance, and I am in favor of compelling him to go around with his head in a grain sack for about six months. But he will get over it; and he has a better chance in college than anywhere else, because the upper-class men in college have studied this mat ter and have given it their careful at tention. Let young man who is try Ing to wear one of the rings of Saturn for hatband escape from college into the world in this condition and it will probably kick him to death trying to cure him. But leave him in school for a few months and at the end of this time, if he has not been overlooked and has had proper care and treat ment, he will be wearing thimble for a skull cap and it will be coming down over his ears at that.
 Before I had attended Siwash col lege three months I had mislaid my shyness and modesty and was a roar ing, unmitigated nuisance. When considered what I had accomplished in those three months I felt so proud that it was difficult for even me to imagine the respect to which I was entitled. had come to Siwash, young unheralded, unknown, bashful, timid undersized and ignorant, and had, by my own sterling worth and ability forced immediate recognition. I was president of my class. I had led tie rooters through the football season and had invented four new yells. I had made the banjo club. was mentioned for cotillion leader. I had got over my fear of strange girls and was SC popular that it almost broke my heart when took young lady to party tc think of the blighting disappointment that would canker in a dozen gentle bosoms. I belonged to the finest frat in college-had chosen it myself after carefully considering the merits of oth CT applicants.
 The president spoke to me by name The college paper joked about my in huence. Siwash was better college fo my coming. Of course, I was wasting my time, but was no snob, and ever if it was little school I intended tt stick to it until my junior year, any way, and pull it up-give it some tone And wherever I went-to Yale or liar yard or COlumbia-to finish up,
 would always think kindly of Siwasl and defend it.
 After I had reflected along thes lines for a couple of hours aloni about the middle of November I uset to look doubtfully at a couple of trol ley poles and fold my ears back befor I dared to edge through between them
 I remember. oh, how plainly, tn