Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-07-20
WHAT COMPOSES
POPULARITY?
Why Is One Girl Sought After
While Others Are Wall
flowers ?

Why has Tony only to enter a room
to have a crowd of admiring women
surround him while John is lucky
II he can persuade one girl to give
him two consecutive dances and a
small section of her divided atten-
tion?
The individual who could seize
popularity by its fluttering wings,
imprison 1t, examine it under the
microscope, and decide definitely just
what atoms made 1t up would be the
high priestess of human happiness.
/ fear that l am not quite qualified
for that position. But I do believe
that almost any sane older woman
can stand off and get enough of a
perspective on the causes for popu-
larity to offer a fairly good work.
ing hypothesis as to its why's and
wherefores.
Beauty and charms are the gilt
tering generalities which are used
to explain popularity. OF course,
beauty is the first lure wherewith
to charm. 1t is like the letter of in
Observation-Disclosures there to see
and understand. 1t s.ves you a
start.
Good looks attract, but they do
not hold. No one would want to
spend hours or days or weeks in
gazing at a magnificent statue; and
cold physical perfection is likely to
prove as firing for a steady vision to
would mere statue. 1t is life, ami
nation and sweetness which vitalizes
beauty and gives it charm.
Volumes on Charm
And charm-what Vo.umes have
been written about 1t and how it
still eludes us like the tabled pot of
gold at the end of the rainbow!
Here are some of the things which
charm is not and which by their
mere presence destroy charm: Self
consciousness; stinginess in eXpend-
ing personality of purse, ,self-centered-
ness; uncouth rudeness; the sort of
frankness which blurts out unneces-
sary and painful facts; a desire to
occupy the center of the stage and
force other people from it, and
swollen conceit.
No one yet possessed charm un-
less he or she had an honest desire
to give pleasure to others. Recently
I met a young woman who managed
to look startlingly unattractive and
yet to suggest real possibilities of
beauty. Her clothes were all of the
wrong type-badly chosen as to color
and cut. She was newcomer in
town, and the people who met her
felt that if it were not for the very
, bad impression her vivid. over-trim-
med clothes gave, she might be an
attractive looking girl.
In fear and trembling an older
woman said to her one day: My
dear, when you get your new spring
clothes, I'd love to go with you. I
know some wonderful dressmakers
and tailors who do things at reason
able prices-and I'd love to help
choose"
a slow flush came over the girls
face. Evidently you don't like my
things" she said quietly.
The older woman stumbled a lit
tle-there was an awkward moment
in which the three or four people
who were present almost disliked
the girl in their instructive rallying
to the support of the older woman
who had blundered and given offense
when she meant to be kind.
An Example
!, And then, the girl saved the day.
In quite the sweetest and most gra-
cious manner possible, she turned to
all of us and throwing out her hands
in a little gesture of acceptance, she
cried: Make me pretty. I've always
struggled around trying to reach
beauty, and I didn't know how. You
people, have such wonderfully good
taste, and I'm sure with Mrs. X to
lead and the rest of you to help,
there's a working chance for that
beauty I've been running around
after. Here's your raw material
now I challenge you to make good"
All of US felt a flood of love for
the young girl who had accepted
criticism, unasked advice and inter-
ference so graciously. And in that
very attitude, there lay the essence
of self-forgetfulness and the sweet
mess which makes for charm.
Poise, self-control, good temper
all of these go to make up mental
health and to add to physical health.
And now, we have wandered far
enough about our circle and come
back to our starting point-popu-
larity.
Do you suppose that anyone who
was clean and sweet and physically
pleasant and who added thereto
amiability and self -forgetfulness
could help winning real friendship
and honest regard?
Do you suppose that the applause
of the multitude is ever as worth
while as the honest appreciation of
two or three who know and under
stand?
If popularity means having seven
bids" to the commencement dance
at your high school, or having six
women phone and ask you to Sun
day night tea, or being invited to
Join five clubs, or having to divide
your dances among four clamoring
men, you want something which isn't
worth having, and which I certainly
wouldn't devote a morning and two
columns of a newspaper to discuss
ing! Popularity like that is cheap
1t leads nowhere, and it can begin
from almost anything. Good looks
may buy it, or the ability to talk
rather well, or generosity in fiinging
your money around may win it, or
a certain group of people may stam-
pede after you because their leader
has started the fad for your society.
Anyone who desires the popular
ity which means the excitement of
having a mob of people run after
him socially, wants to gobble up a
big box of sweets, and I have no
intention of taking the responsible
ity for the indigestion of heart and
soul and body which are bound to
follow.
Popularity like that leads to an
impasse, blind alley. 1t means cul-
tvating many instead of one; 1t nee
essitates diffusing yourself over too
big territory, and failing to con-
centrate on people and things which
might matter. The girl of many
partners at a dance is likely never
to settle down to life partner; or
II she does, she may choose all
wrong! The man of many dinner
invitations is sadly liable to go on
enjoying other peoples housekeep-
ing and lazily to postpone setting
up a house of his own until it is
too late.
But the right sort of popularity
which means honest regard from
n real