New Britain herald., 1917-11-14
FACTS ABOUT THE AMERICAN NAVY F1TzHUGH GREEN, U. S. M
Mail.
BY LIEUT.. FITZH

Mail is the greatest all-round joy of a sailors life. I say this knowing
 full we'll the sailor, and making due allowance for the choice he would
 make between beer and books, or skirts and a game of chess.
 To one man mail is misery. He is
 the most fidgety man in the Navy.
 When Bright-Work call goes at s:15
 in the morning he usually explodes
 Perhaps he Is just folding up his lib-
 erty blues (uniforms). Or he may be
 wiping his razor after a shave behind
 the barbette. Or he Is finishing a story, or a pipe, or a bit of 'scouse
 (steW) from the galley. But whenever
 the bugle blows or a gong sounds or
 d word is passed sure as shooting he
 is doing something he Especially wants to finish"; and it almost kills him to knock off.
 It's the same when the bugle says Stop work" Hell of a note,' this man grumbles when the Turret Off, cer orders secure after gruelling drill. "Here it's war-an' we mighta done half a second better on that last load! Besides Skinny didn't half get his bag up straight Even when he comes off watch it's, wait bit, Mate, I wanta see what's round that cape. Or, "Go way; I know it's eight bells. But I'm just getting the hang of this 1 here he1m.'
 there wouldn't be anything to tell. It is Smith, plain common or garden Smith-spell it with an 'i''
 | One thing Smith couldn't bear. With 1 all his philosophy and even the com | fort of his wonderful vocabulary nothing he could say or do or think 1 was able to tide him over the painful 1 oments of the day or the week when l in an agony of suspense he sat and ! waited for his mail.
 The trouble of course was that | Smith had a sweetheart. She was 1 beautiful and devoted, so devoted that l she wrote every day-almost That 1 "aln1ost'' was what pretty nearly 1 drove Smith crazy.
 ] She addressed her letters to Some l thing W. Smith, Esq, U. s. s. Any ship, Care of the Postmaster, New York City" which Is the regular way
 for all battleships in time of war. The l Postmaster, New York, has a tremen- ] dous department given over to Navy letters For he alone knows the se i cret missions and anchorages of the l Fleet. Letters pour in from sweet
 hearts and wives and other acquain- 1 tances all over the world.
 l Common clerks sort the million l missives into bags. Uncommon clerks l have access to a private list by which l they can direct each bag to it's ship, 1 or hold 1t until the Navy Department
 chooses to divulgo her whereabouts. | Smiths ship may be anchored with l the Fleet in some out-o -the-way har-
 bor Each morning a destroyer speeds 1 in flying a despatch flag. Immediately l Smith begins to fume. He can scarce 1 ly wait until the Officer Deck
 calls away a motor boat for the Mail
 Orderly. Smith bites the end off his
 pipe when he sees four other war
 ships launches ahead of his. But he
 loses patience altogether when like
 flies around food the motor boats
 scramble and scuffle with awkward
 Haste and only delay each other in the
 hope of getting first mail.
 1 Finally the boat returns fouF bags and a pouch come over the gang
 way. The Mail Orderly's face IS 1ull
 of annoyance for the nasty job aheao' Sorting mail for a thousand men Is no
 small task. But Smith sees only per-