davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
Auseria- a-Humgary
 Must Obey Orders

THE announcement made in dis
 A patch from The Hague to the Exchange Telegraph company of Lon- don that Austria Hungary will break diplomatic relations with the United States "as the result of strong Ger man pressure" should cause no sur prise.
 The United States has no quarrel with Austria, any more than it has with the German people. Austria is in the unfortunate predicament of be- ing compelled to obey orders issued from Potsdam, whether she wants to or not. The amiable young Emperor, Charles, is just about as important in the European conflict as the Prince of Wales. Personally, there are good reasons for believing that he would be glad to sue for peace.
 There will be no hatred against Austria Hungary in America. Every one realizes the plight of the totter- ing dual monarchy. Prussian autoc- racy is determined to drag Austria Hungary down in the general ruin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
From the Lou:

From the Louisville Courier-Journal N CHICAGO physician has the monu- AA mental affrontery to advise young 2 S men against "phliandering with young women to whom they are engaged' "Courtship." says this scientist, "can De prosecuted without such demonstrations of affection. It is by no means necessary that an exchange of caresses should 1ol- How an agreement to marry
 It is all right to insist that a young man shall not lay himself out to kiss the other fellows girl, but if he may not KISS
 "his'rl," why is courtship, and why are girls?
 It is held by normal persons, and nas
 been so held from the days of the de- mand for a greater Babylon, that the greatest height to which human nature can rise is the exalted level at which John Doe finds himself when he is so devoted to his own sweetheart that he would not kiss Richard Roe's sweetheart unless the situation were one in which he must do so or be guilty of ungentle- manly unwillingness to adapt his attitude to the spell of the moonlight, and the mood of a maid.
 Whether a girl shall be kissed always has been, and among regular fellows not musty scentists-it always will be. question for the girl to decide. She does
 decide it, invariably, in advance of the
 occasion Her munitions keep well ahead
 of the conscious impulses, to say nothing
 of the designs and the overt acts, of the
 young man; not excepting the confident
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
LIKE M,LuKE SAYS

If a tall, thin girl has money she has a swan-like neck. But if she is poor she has a neck like an ostrich.
 Why is it that the girl who is wearing a pair of black glass ear pendants from the 10-cent store acts so much more im- portant than the girl who hasn't any?
 There are other ways to get a black eye. But the easiest way to acquire one is to butt in.
 About this time of year the Mems Mis- souri club organizes and appoints com mittees to look into the see-more skirt question and the low-necked waist ques- ton.
 There never was a man so wise that his wife didn't regard him as fool.
 An fashioned man can't understand why it is all right to wash your hands at the table when you get through eating and why it is all wrong to pick your teeth at the table when you get through eating.
 Considering the fact that men are meas ured almost wholly by their faults, men are a pretty decent crowd.
 When girl is built like a hairpin and wears spectacles the kindest thing you can say about her is that she is intel lectual
 Maybe more men would like to go to church if they didn't have to wait for the preacher to make the motion for ad- jcurnment
 It is easy for smart girl to hook a man. All she has to do is to let him talk about himself and his personal affairs and appear to be deeply interested. Then the boob gets the idea that she is going to spend the rest of her life listening to him and appreciating him, and he takes the high dive into matrimony T and announces that he is going down. town after he gets through feeding at night he discovers that his wife is a forceful after-dinnsr speaker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
GOING TOO FAR

young man who feels that he has way
 with the ladies. It is quite futile to ad-
 wise young men to exercise restraint, to make ungallant conduct a part of the code of a gentleman; to resort to cruel and unusual behavior in the presence of opportunity.
 Do not kiss other girls than the one to whom you are engaged" is as much
 advice as any young man is going to con- sider seriously It is going to far to propose the aboishment of the "raison d'etre' of the engagement. An engage
 ment is, confidentially, as between the engaged parties, not intended merely to serve notice upon the public that mar riage is in prospect, but rather to cele- brate brief and glorious holiday from the school of austere convention before
 entering upon the serious phase of life in
 which broken china. recalcitrant house. maids, flabbergasting grocery bills dom- neering plumbers, demanding installment houses must take precedence over the themes of philanderers as subjects for dis cussion.
 Isn't everyone-even the engaged young person-entitled to a fling? All work and
 no play is intolerable. A brief madman's holiday-the divine madness, of course,
 and not general dementia-is the inalie-
 nable right of young persons who have agreed to pull straight between traces 'Huntil death do us part" to settle down to model citizenship, leaving forever be- hind them the visions and adventurings of the unblessed, but not uninteresting, unattached state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05

In olden times a generous monarch would give away cities to his favorites, but if a ruler tried to do that nowadays the citizens would meet together. de- clare the act unconstitutional and prob- ably bounce him off his throne.
 !. *
 The Eskimo lecturer tells us often finds his clothes uncomfortable when the thermometer registers only 10 degrees be- low zero. If he wore such garments, he might even run around in his B. V. DIS Alabama is giving Uncle Sam recruits in gratifying numbers and everyone of them will be grievously disappointed if he doesn't get a chance to prove his met tie.
 While it is true that when a brewery Is put out of business by prohibition it is frequently used for some other purpose, there is a sharp falling off in the profiSs
 * * *
 There was a time when the British and French had a poor opinion of President Wilson. Now they laud him to the skies. Oh, well. There's a reason.
 France is wondering what MT. Edison will invent to paralyze the Germans MT. , Edison will have to get busy and not dis appoint expectant France.
 * *
 The pacifist pilgrims got a reception in Washington that made them feel that there was no place like home so back home they went.
 If MT. Wilson had only been in when he called the colonel might have tarried at the White House long enough to Dury the hatchet.
 The London Mail says the south's sol diers fought like gentlemen" in tie civH war; Confederate veterans are used to compliments.
 .
 That pacifst who had fight with Senator Lodge is now in favor of war The cure was strenuous, but it worked Nathan Hale regretted that he had but one life to give to his country. MT. La Toilette is not that kind of man.
 < < ::
 President Wilson's address would move the German people prefoundly-if they were allowed to read it.
 x *
 The society bud who contemplates be- coming a Red Cross nurse should be told that war is no frolic.
 There is demand for a real national anthem. We had better get few more dreadnaughts first. * !. *
 Life continues cheap in Europe. It is food that has reached a prohibitive price across the water.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
THE BLIMPS

From the Baltimore American.
 Modelled more on the plan of cigar that swells in the middle and tapers at each end-that is the blimp. The blimp
 is or is to be, the counterpart of the German Zeppelin. The name blimp will surely catch the popular fancy. If the
 blimps in actual performance measure do. these new type gas bag ships of the air will, before this year 1917 is ended, be much in the speculative talk. There are now 16 of them in the building, and it is expected that they will all be in serv- ice on or about the first of August. The blimp is not an untried theory; it is known with approximate exactness jus, what the new balloon ships will be able to do. It is proposed to use them in
 coastal scouting They are seemingly not than three or four in addition to the pilot. They can be operated at a great
 height-nearly two miles in the air And they will have a potential speed of 4
 miles per hour. The imagination can easily grasp the varied uses to which they might be put. They will not dis
 place the aeroplanes; they are designed for special uses to which 1t is believed
 the balloonship is better adapted than the aeroplane.
 They will represent but an item in
 the enlarged air navy which the na- tional government is about to create | Precedent to the air fleets there must bt
 a supply of trained pilots. Training tn,
 pilots is now under way. Ten Balti.
 moreans have been picked by the nationa
 government for the training school ot Pensacola
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
seWORLD'S OLDEST CITY,

1 years was said to have been expended in the work, together with '1S shiploads of gold and silver, which came from Cy- prus."
 From the western minaret one looks ! upon the Street Called Straight and the gleam of the rushing water of the Abana, one of the great rivers of Damascus, may be caught at intervals among the houses. These structures give no hint of the beauty which their walls contain.
 They are most irregularly placed and their exteriors are mean and uninviting.
 But once past the narrow gateway, one will generally find an inner court with ] marble paving. adorned With fountains and planted with flower and fruit trees and presenting to almost every sense l picture of the alluring fascination of oriental delight.
 1 "The bazars are labyrinth of lanes /, and alleys, connected by dark passages, often too narrow for two people to pass one another; but in them are to be found bewidering wealths of silk work, copper, silver and gold smithing. and examples
 of Damascus steel, which yet holds Foremost place in the worlds armories !
 desert flows through Damascus; and in addition the city's place as the point | of departure of the great annual Haji
 pilgrimage from Syria to Mecca gives it a large prosperity. In the days of the
 caravan this was of more importance to Damascus, for the construction of tse Hejaz railway, which has Damascus as its northern terminus, now renders un- necessary the former prolonged stay of
 the pilgrims at Damascus while outfit l ting.
 | Damascus is not alone in suffering 1 from railroad construction. Constantine
 pie long held it's prestige as center of commerce because it was point of bar 1 ter and transshipment for the caravan 1 traders who now make use of the surer, quicker and cheaper rail transportation.
 and that great imperial city is no longer the natural seat of empire which so at l tracted Constantine when he set up his empire in the east. In our own country, l to a lesser degree, this same deteriora-i
 ton has taken place in many colonial town which, in stage coach days, was
 populous and enterprising center but which now, passed by in the construc- tion of railroads has sunk into genteel senility and inertia.
 l Damascus, however, will always re- main an important city; geography and
 faith alike will contribute to keep it so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
CHEER UP.

CHEER UP. And you're not feeling well today?
 bill has been sent you? Vacation time is on the way
 Let that thought content you.
 A BLIGHTED CAREER.
 q used to draw a big salary. ma am, in my palmy days, before my health got so poor" said the applicant for light breakfast
 Whats the matter with your health?" "I had an attack of acute indigestion an never got over it. You see, ma'am, was a snake-eater with a carnival com pany. One day we ran out of the snakes I'd been eating and the manager per suaded me to try a new kind. I've never been the same man since"
 SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
 You say he is good at flgures?' Yes" ''Pd like to meet an expert mathema- tician
 That fellow doesn't know anything ! about mathematics He's recruiting agent for beauty chorus" A SARTORIAL HORROR. DO you live in a quiet neighborhood?" Tt was quiet enough until last week." said the man who is hard to please. What happened then?" "A woman next door bought a dress that makes her look like an animated checkerboard" PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
ANNIE LAURIE

Marvellous braes are bonnie, Where early falls the dew, And twas there that Annie Laurie Gave me her promise true; Which ne'er forgot will be,
 Which ne'er forgot will be, But for bonnie Annie Laurie
 I'd lay me down and dee. Her brow is like the snowdrift, Her throat Is like the swan; Her face 1t is the fairest
 That e'er the sun shone on-- That e'er the sun shone on And dark blue is here e'e: And for bonnie Annie Laurie
 I'd lay me down and dee. . Like dew on the gowan lying, Is the fla O her fairy feet; And like winds in summer signing, Her voice is lo0 and sweet Her voice Is low and sweet
 And she'sAa' the world to me. And for bonnie Annie Laurie
 Id lay me down and dee!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05

Mai P. D. Scott, in National Service
 Magazine.
 Always costly arm. field artillery Is more so now than ever, due to the com plicated engines it uses. The equipment alone, exclusive of men and horses, for the artillery of a corps in our army reaches cost of more than S20oO.oOO, it's visible supply of ammunition twice that amount. For an army of million men the cost if more than $120, GOO, 900; that of ammunition, more than $24O, 100000 IL need scarcely be said that such costly machinery of war must be provided Id time of peace.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
April Showers

Speaking of April showers, Wednes- days downpour would nardly come under this classification remarked pr. P. D. Chisholm. For it has been little less than flood; and is certainly some rain, to say the least In fact, I don't re- member such a heavy rainfall in April for number of years. On awakening l noticed the sky to be overcast, and very few Birmingham people had reached of fees and places of business downtown before the streets had been drenched. Suburbanites alighting from cars found themselves in an almost pitiable plight. There was scarcely any let-up in the downpour throughout the day, and finally we all had to go home again in the eve ming in the wet. If we are to have any more April showers such as this.i don know what the farmers will do''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
Colonel Roosevelt s
 TrihmEe n@ Wils@m

TribWte to Wils@m
 II N the campaign last fall ex-Presi- 0 dent Roosevelt said many bitter things about President Wilson. Noth- ing the President ever did was right, according to the colonel's way of thinking. The democratic standard bearer was harshly criticized by most of the republican orators, but no de- tractor was quite so scathing as Roosevelt. The fact, therefore, that he stopped over in Washington Tues day on his way home from Florida for the purpose of congratulating the President on his epochal message to the Congress was all the more note- worthy.
 Those who have been indignant at Roosevelt because of some of his political utterances will take back much that they have said in wrath. They will recall now only the colonel's generous qualities and his public acts deserving of commendation. Roosevelt has been called a crank; a radical-a dangerous radical. He has been called "grandstand player" and lot of very hard names. But with it all Roosevelt has always the re- deeming virtue of patriotism. A man of quick impulse, he blurts out what is in his mind; but only man of the right spirit would have done what he did and said what he said Tuesday unless his heart was right. All the distinguished republicans leaders in their party in every section of the country-have come out boldly and ardently in support of President Wilson in this crucial time. They set an example of genuine Americanism and shame the few pacifists and
 slackers in public life who claim to be democrats. Hats off to Theodore
 Roosevelt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
* * s: West Point Glass Soon to Graduate

M FEW months ago when it was 1A found that the military pre- paredness programme would call for a large number of additional officers in the regular army the war depart ment was asked in behalf of the West Point class of 1917 to graduate the cadets this spring instead of waiting until June. It was thought that the international crisis justified such emergency action. As many of the new officers would be taken from civil life and many from noncommissioned men, it seemed unfair to keep this years class back in date of service when only few weeks would separate the professionally trained officers from the regular graduating time.
 The navy department has already ordered the Annapolis class of 1917 to graduate presently and the war department, on second thought, has taken similar steps with regard to the West Point class. This will en- able the 148 cadets to get in line for early promotion. Had they been made to wait for their commissions until hundreds of less thoroughly educated military men had "gone ahead" of them the army would have been the loser and the cadets would have been all the slower in reaching their cap- taincies.
 Cadets, on graduation, receive a second lieutenant's commission with base pay of $1700 a year. It is usu- ally three years before they are ad- vanced to the grade of first lieuten- ant. But owing to the extraordinary demand for officers many West Pointers will be first lieutenants be- fore the ink is dry on their commits sions for second lieutenant; and in stead of waiting until they are thirty or thirty-five years of age before they are captains, it will be common thing to see men of that grade under twenty-five.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
READY.

READY glow of patriotic pride
 Is spreading OCT the land; Behind the nations President The people take their stand. No north, no south divides our hearts, And there's east or west; But every citizen worth while Is ready for the test.
 MERE MATTER OF POUNDS. "Jibway has a ponderous manner which makes strangers think he carries weight in this community"
 Quite so A ponderous manner is easily assumed by people who have large waist measurements when as a matter of fact about all the weight they carry in the community is their own avoirdupois."
 A FRIENDLY WARNING. T wouldn't hurt anything that breathes," said the humane man. Do you mean that?'
 "Surest thing you know" well, I'm going to introduce you to a high -browed woman. Unless you want Ito see pained expression on her face, don't use slang"
 OUT OF SEASON. And to think" said the first shivering pedestrian, that last July I cast longing looks on that big building across the street!'
 What is that big building across the street?" asked the second shivering pe- destrian.
 "A cold storage plant"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
Vemturimg on Dangerous
 Groumd Brings Pemalties

MM RS. IDA BUSTED HARPER, 0VO chairman of the national sui frage press committee, replies at some length to an editorial recently published in The Age-Herald regard ing the antics of militant suffragists in Washington. The Age-Herald's editorial simply reviewed an article in the Woman's Protest, organ of the anti-suffragists. For prudent rea- sons this paper watches it's step where the suffragists are concerned.
 After stating that the White House "pickets" wanted publicity, which the easily beguiled newspapers hastened to give them in abundapce, and say ing that the majority of the national association, with an estimated enroll ment of two million women, does not favor militant methods and "sex solidarity" Mrs. Harper writes:
 "You say: With Solidarity of sex" as a creed and "pester the President" as a policy, the suffragists, accord ing to the Protest, are not getting anywhere * It is a somewhat amazing statement that the suffrag- ists are not getting anywhere.
 Mrs. Harper need not have taken the trouble to show us the progress being made by woman suffrage. Any reasonably we'll informed person knows that number of states in the middle west and the far west have given women the ballot. In some
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05

parts of the country they are win ming substantial victories, although the east and the south are still some what obdurate.
 According to the Protest" not ac- cording to The Age-Herald, the suf- fragists who advocate militant meth ods and expose themselves to ridi- cule "are not getting anywhere" l" However, since the militants don't seem to be liked any better by the national association than they are by this newspaper, there is nothing to quarrel about.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05

MAYBE A SMALL HORSE LAUGH From the Saturday Evening Post.
 He had . laugh like lively young pony.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
MMl18apslel

P. s.: Here'is chance to take the kid dies to see the animals without having to So to a circus.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, help me to pay the price of fellow ship. May I lay aside piy baggage that ! may enter the small gate into the hearts of men. | would seek to give, not to get. | would not drag down veils from before noble reserves. I would not wear my heart on my sleeve, nor peddie my troubles to every passer-by, l would not wreck men with low esti- mates of them. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
Wilson on Warpath

The pale of influence of Dead-Eye Dick Buffalo Bill and the other notables has not passed away according to Edmund Ewing, safety director for the Alabama Coal Operators association.
 There is a newspaper seller on a prin cipal street corner who, besides having an extremely loud voice, possesses z rather ungainly looking face,' said MT Ewing. "The other day when extras were being issued in regard to the war sit uation, he was heralding the papers.
 President Wilson On The War path! was the manner in which he de- scrlbed the purport, of the news from Washington. I could just see the finger worn copy about Dead-Eye Dick on the warpath looking for more Flutes. The an- nouncement caused a good bit of merri- ment to the passersby."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-05
HOTEL LOBBIEs'
Military Training

Speaking of health' said Sergt R. H. Baker of the Alabama National Guard last night why, the boys at Montgom- cry look 100 per cent better than they did last summer. Universal training would be one of the greatest things for the coming generation. It is not only good from a military standpoint, but it Is a great benefit to a young man phy- must be physically fit to do all kinds of work as well as to fight. Now, If a man gets the training to do all these things in the army it stands to reason that he will be turned back to civil life more fit to do the work of man. "Our company lost only one man during our campaign on the border.
 The majority of the boys gained in weight anywhere from 15 to 30 pounds. When our company returns to Birming- ham you won't know it. that is, if you saw us when we left June last year.
 The men of our company are all studying hard to qualify as commissioned officers in the reserve corps and some of them are sure to make 1t with flying colors.
 We are all anxious for Congress to back up the President in his views to- ward Germany and hope they will send us over to help crush Prussianism'