davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

When a woman can't find any other way to spend her husbands money she will spend it on something for him.
 As long as man has five or six hairs on his dome he pities the poor fel- lows who are bald
 Some men spend their declining years praying for more gold, when they should be praying for an asbestos soul.
 No matter how many mistakes cook ing school bride makes she will bawl like she is heart-broken if her hubby doesn't eat them cheerfully
 Woman has an idea that man can't get along without her. And, for at least once, she is right.
 woman never blows her nose as if she meant business. But it is different with a man.
 At IT she believes that a girl should be engaged to man at least two years before she marries him. At 27 she be- lieves that two-day engagement is long enough.
 When a girl lets fellow print kiss on her lips it is understood that it is not for publication And yet she usually lets him go to press One thing we don't like about a black sheep is that he is always bleating about what a good family he comes from. My, but the old order of things has changed. As children become more dis obedient parents become more obedient woman can henpeck her husband and make him stand for it. But she can't henpeck him and make him like it When a woman gets the club bug sht is so busy looking for civic bettermen' that she can't see the dust in her owr home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
ON THE FIRING LINE IN FRANCE

, possible. Only one at time could take the chance to creep to the extreme point and watch the entenched foe. We promised that for the safety of the troops that were on duty there we would be very cautious, but on returning safe ly to the rear trench, and being shelled by the enemy, I am afraid we plainly showed that 1t was also our own safety that we considered, as we dove for the dugouts in the trenches. There we found a bombing party all ready to engage their opponents, if orders were given to do so. The bombs were of various shapes
 and forms. including some to make a light at night.
 We retraced our steps. and, having the fast military motor car at our disposal. we rushed off to another point of view, and witnessed the big howitzers Lombard
 once again Le Mort Homme. The guns must not only be screened so that the enemy cannot see them the flash" exposes their position at moment of | firing-from the ground-but it is neces- sary to hide them, also, from the air 1 planes, and many are the devices re- | sorted to. Wire netting covered with | branches of trees is 8 favorite ruse. We | tried to protect our ears with our fingers l as the guns belched out their fire, but so many were firing in all directions that we found it impossible to do so, and wondered if we should ever recover our l hearing. Then we discovered that either
 the concussion of the French guns or the l explosion of enemy shells had broken all
 the glass in our motor.
 | And so we wished the brave French troops "bonne chance as we turned
 homeward, and hoped that the day not
 far distant when they should be able to
 return to their homes and enjoy well earned rest
 And the bulletin read, "All was quiet ] at night"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
James H. Hare, in Leslie's.

James H. Hare, in Leslies.
 1T WAVING been equipped with gas lDl masks we were taken to the e e trenches on another day, to watch an attack on the Mort File. We foundered around seemingly for miles, in
 the muddy "boyaux' or communicating
 trenches. After picking our way over the
 cleanest places for a time, and finding
 that we simply could not avoid wading
 through bogs of mud every once in a
 while, we gave up trying to keep clean,
 and went to it. If there was a wooden
 mat on the floor of the trench, so much
 the better, if not we just waded through
 water and mud. But then, in the Span
 sh-American war. after tramping around
 in the heavy tropical rains until I was
 so exhausted that I simply could not
 stand up any longer, and being wet
 through. anyhow, didn't I sit down in
 the mud? As we neared the advanced trenches was surprised to come across a squad of men being served with soup. Twas good soup, too, and they seemed to enjoy it. had heard an engine working away at the rear as I entered, and supposed It was to ventilate the underground tunnel
 at the start of the trench, but l discov- cred it supplied the compressed air to work the drills, as they cut their way through rock and stone. Then there were American pumps working to draw off some of the superfluous water. l could almost imagine that I was back in New York, with a new subway being con- structed.
 Before we reached the observation post, within 30 yards of the enemy, on the other side of an exploded mine, We were warned that we were covered by an enemy rapid fire gun, and it behooved us { to keep absolutely silent and quiet in our l movements, bending down as low as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Some Action Wanted

q am expecting the grand Jury 10 take further action in regard to the escape of the seven prisoners from the county jail Tuesday morning" said Harry Stradford yesterday. "The re- port of the grand jury did not satisfy the citizens and I approve or Judge Forts instructions to the body to con- tinue their investigation.
 "It is a disgrace to the county and state to have the wholesale escapes from the jail which have been the case recently. I was informed by city de- tective recently that not one-half Of the escapes from the jail were ever given to the public. Whether this Is so, cannot state. but I believe 1t.
 Sheriff Batson is conscientious in his duty, I believe. but he is in of flee with a bad set of men. He should clean out the inefficient men. The rem edy should be made at once, for the quicker the better"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

It would protect us against for
 eign invasion and from a prema-
 ture peace to which we were no
 party.
 MT. H&rding's topic was "Finan- cial Preparedness" He said that the United States is better prepared for war financially than any other way. The greatest and most effective aid we could give the allies would be to extend them credit of $1 900, 900, ,000, and the resources of the country are such that this could be done easily. The banks are stronger than ever be- fore and in addition the federal re- serve banks have a note-issuing ca pacity of more than $1,200,00 ,000.
 The resources of the twelve insti- tutions total more than billion dol lars. Since the beginning of the war in Europe the gold stock of the United States has increased $1,015, 100000, a sum exceeding the entire gold produc- tion of the world during that time. 'No government bank .on earth can make a showing anything like the balance sheet of our re- serve banks"
 If America goes to war with Ger she will be compelled to do not with men, but with money and she will be able to hasten victory for the allies and bring the struggle to an end. As matter of and of duty this aid should be given to the nations fighting gal lantly for ideals that are cherished in America.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
SAYS THE SUN DIDN'T STAND STILL

From the Philadelphia North American.
 Joshua's command to the sun and moon to stand still' only meant that they should be "eclipsed," according to Dr. Thomas Dick Wilson, professor of He- brew at Princeton Theological seminary. The word usually translated stand still" in the Bible is the Hebrew damu, said Doctor Wilson, which really means eclipse" When my students come to me-" he said. with doubts as to whether God actually upset the laws of gravita- tion at the request of Joshua, I say: Don't worry. Nothing of the kind took place."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
DEU1TSCHTUM

From being, at first, a political makeshift, it became fact taken for granted, and anybody who would be anybody politi- some way with the German party. If the German language was not adopted by the court and the nobility, this was simply due to the fact that the French language was, at that time, the language of polite society. In any case, whilst those who spoke only Russian had no prospect of advancement, those who spoke any for eign language were sure, at any rate, of having all doors thrown open to them Thus there grew up in Russia what amounted to an alien governing class. with ideals and ideas quite foreign to the country which they claimed to gov ern. Their one great concern was to re- tain their hold on power, and they were. consequently, always bitterly opposed to lall movements which so much as hinted lat the coming of liberal ideas Germany, Tor the last forty years has taken full ad- vantage of these conditions. So strong, indeed, was the feeling in Germany in favor Of supporting, by all possible means, Deutschtum in Russia that, after the revolutions of 1905, when the power of the German element in the Baltic pro vinces was severely shaken. large funds were collected in Germany flor restoring
  Farmers, laborers. foresters and inspec- tors were sent there from Germany. and their efforts were ably seconded by the authorities at St. Petersburg German farmers, who would Scientifically culti- vate" the land with cheap Russian labor were imported German tradesmen set tied everywhere in the small towns, and the system of German schools was stead l fly developed; whilst German writers openly advised the buying up. by German syndicates, of the large estates of the Russian nobles. as well as the peasants communal lands.
 It Is out of this condition that recent events in Russia have developed. German influence-it is simple matter of hs- tory-has lain at the root of practically every political move, of reaction.-y character, which has taken place in that country for many years past. and it is more than likely that the revolution of March. 1917. will go down in history as the revolution which finally overthrow IDeutschtum in Russia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
eAmNzMM1@uue6I s-Remember the distinction in the real estate world 'Realtor'-Big Bull
"LoUNGE LIZARDS" ROUTED

MoUNGE LIZARDS" ROUTED
 New York Correspondent Pittsburg Dis
 patch.
 "Parlor snakes" lounge lizards and tango pirates have been given the hign sign The police have notified them to go to work or to jail. They intend to begin 2. crusade against these young men who, apparently without any means of sup port, lounge about tho Broadway 'Lob- ster Palaces" and prey upon women who frequent these places afternoons to dance, Indications are that it was such a man who strangled Mrs. Elsie Gwen Hilair the other day and robbed her or s25o0 worth of diamonds. The police be- lieve there are more than a hundred young men in this city who "hang out in lobster palaces and live either by ca joling wealthy women out, of their jew elry or by blackmailing them. Before the week is out squad of women detec- | lives will be sent dancing around Broad way to find out just who has ulterior motives in dancing with them. In the event tn0y dtteiuptcu any tniH8 Ol O. cAiiii- inal nature they could be arrested. but the scheme at present is to run crowd of them in," to use the police vernacu- lar, and charge them with being va grants. The lounge lizard" as type. gained considerable notoriety more than a year ago when the case of Miss Eu- genie Kelly, who afterward married ZAP Davis, the dancer, came into the lime | light At that time Miss Kelly's mother said that her daughter had been lured
 to various dancing places by persons
 whose sole desire was to get money from
 her, and she told In court how her daugh-
 ter had spent large sums As a result
 of that, tho police went quietly among
 the Broadway dancing establishments
 and gave notice' to large number of young men to find real jobs," and most | of those so warned either did 50 or dis appeared from their usual haunts. Now the belief exists that the ''gang has
 drifted back" and is thriving again on
 women who are wealthy and who are flattered by the attention of young s'lizards" garbsd in the latest fashions oa
 the day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
THE wIsTFUL DAYS

By Robert Underwood Johnson. What is there wanting in the spring? The air is soft as yesteryear; The happy nested green is here. And half the world is on the wing The morning beckons, and like balm Are westward waters blue and calm. Yet something's wanting in the spring. What Is wanting in the spring? o April, lover to us all,
 What is so poignant in thy thrall When, children's merry voices ring? What haunts us in the cooling dove More subtle than the speech of love. What nameless lack or loss of spring? Let youth 90 daily with the spring.
 Call her the dear. the fair. the youngs And all her graces ever sung
 Let him. once more rehearsing. sing. They know. who keep . broken tryst, Till something from tho spring be miss'd We have not truly known the spring.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Russia Making a
Great Impression

&SQ So1@ 4NUAlsOE SSSAOAA
 THE world outside has never fully A understood the Russian people. Travellers have written much about intolerance and oppression prevailing in that land, and native writers have pictured Russia in dark colors. No one knew Russia better than Count Tol- stoy. What we learn from his books makes us think ill of the so-called up- per class and touches our sympathles for the serfs and the oppressed Jews.
 Tolstoy had keen insight into hu- man nature and large vision. He saw in the future new Russia, free Russia, but like many idealists he died before his dreams were visaallzed- Ii the reforms he proposed had been made effective in half century lib- eral statesmen would have thought Russia making fast progress.
 But the liberal element in the vast Slav nation has come into it's own in this good year 1917, and come with such sweeping force and so quickly withal, as to amaze all the peoples of the earth. Russia, by it's splendid achievement of overthrowing au- tocracy, has commended itself to all humane and progressive statesmen. Never again will Russia be thought of as a benighted country. Leaders of courage and ability it has always had, but not until now have the represen- tatives of the masses revealed their entire fitness to govern.
 And very modern the new Russia is. Women are to be allowed to vote for delegates to the constitutional conven- ton. That settles the equal suffrage ouestion in Russia. It was happy stroke on the part of the committee of twelve.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Annericam Relief Work


 In War; T 0rm Europe
 A TOUCHING incident of the great GA war is related by an Associated Press correspondent with the British forces in France. In one village well buttered ham sandwiches were dis tributed among the children and "caused greater excitement than the evacuation of the Germans.
 Tt is butterl" shouted the children as they scampered away to show their parents this unexpected luxury. Through the open doors could be heard, Praise God, there is butter again in France
 The suffering brought upon the civilian population of invaded coun- tries is almost beyond the compre- hension of people who are accus- toned to plenty, yet the lavish hand of America has done much to ale viate this suffering, particularly in Belgium and France, where women and children have blessed the stars and stripes, the symbol to them of a generous nation which has sent food and clothing and money for their re- lief.
 America has been unkindly criti- cized in some of the warning countries for her patience in submitting to Ger man violations of her rights as a neu- tral, but when the history of the great war is written it's fairest page will be devoted to summary of the relief work done by Americans with the means provided by their sympa- thetic countrymen at home.
 The United States is better for hav- ing saved the lives of thousands of men, women and children.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

BEGINNING THE DAY-Help me, 0 mighty God, to think on Thy hcli- ness and thereby be made hOiier myself. Help me to enshrine Thee in holy thought and holy speech. May I build a temple in my soul for the holy God. May I seek quiet ly hut with my whole heart to make Thy name holy in all the earth. In Jesus name. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Women Patriotic

At the recent meeting of the local Equal Suffrage association a resolu- tion was offered and unanimously passed that all members of the asso- citation will rise to their feet and re- main standing when the Star Spangled Banner or any other national hymn is played" said Mrs. w. N. Wood of the local association. "I have been glad to notice that this custom is being adopted at some of the local theatres, but in this time of our country's stress it is fit and proper this tribute should be paid not only as an inspiration to the young to do honor to their nation's S en blem, but to impress the stranger within our midst that we love our flag and that others must respect It. It is a very pretty sentiment and l hope every woman will rise when any of the national hymns are played"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
ANOTHER VICTIM

Here Hest the dust of Simon Trout, Indubitably dead; He said he'd wear a bad cold out It wore him out instead
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Against the Sparrow

If you want to get rid of the English sparrow talk with George B. Ward. Besides being interested in the loss of gold by the gold fish, the presi- dent of the Birmingham commission is a votary of the garden. City beautiful is a by-word with him. Inasmuch as the activity of the English sparrow has interfered with the beauty of the garden. he wrote to the government. A large package of booklets was re- ceived by him.
 ''Tell anybody who wants to get rid of the English sparrow that I can give them the desired information" said Mir. Ward. T have several booklets here in my office on The English Sparrow Pest and will be glad to give them away"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
HOLIDAY TRAININGS

HOLIDAY WARNINGS In dreams he hears the liquid tones Of water purling over stones, And still in fancy seems to see The sun-flecked shadow of tree That bends above a bloom-girt pool, And forest aisles, wind-swept and cool That weary, way-worn feet invite. Such visions fair his soul delight, Who in stuffy office pent, Dares not betray his discomfort, And even wants 1t understood He'd not go fishing if he could.
 MORE TO THE PURPOSE director You look as if you were going on a picnic"
 "I don't understand your meaning" an swered the screen star, haughtily. Hang it! Try to look the way people picnic"
 A LIKELY STORY You are charged with exceeding the speed limit
 Your honor" said the owner of a Ford, q was trying to catch a train" "Ahem! You were alone in the car?" Yes. sir"
 Then, what would you have done with your car if you had caught the train?' "Why-er, I was going to check it in the parcel room at the station"
 A SPORT
 How would you like to risk little money in a game of chance?" asked the insinuating stranger.
 Don't mind riskin' twenty-fiv or thutty cents," answered Uncle Hiram Waybacker. By gum. trot out your checker board!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Railroads Ask Am
 Increase I'm Rates

00ASS2 S2S8'S ONO S SSs SO~
 6NHE ultimate consumer "pays the
 J freight" It was that way in other years and it will be so for some time to come. In 1915 when the car riers petitioned the interstate com merce commission for the right to in- crease rates the hearings were long drawn out. Shippers, very naturally, opposed the proposition, but the pub lie generally sided with the railroads.
 The commission never made more thorough investigation of traffic con- ditions. Every phase of railroad op- eration from the economic point of view was carefully considered, and the carriers "got the decision;" not all that was asked, but enough to help them to get on their feet, so to speak, for even the strongest of the transportation companies, such as the Pennsylvania and the New York Gen. tral, were unable to spend what was needed for betterments unless their revenues were increased.
 When the interstate commerce commission finally decided to grant relief to the railroads, the business world in general frightened. Im- provement in many directions was in evidence. And while the ultimate consumer had to bear his share of the burden, commercial depression soon gave place to optimism. It suggested new era of prosperity. Business re- covery was steady and the railroads were prospering once more.
 Last year was good year with the
 carriers; but operating expenses have increased to such an extent that even the busiest and best managed lines will be crippled unless they be al flowed to charge more for hauling freight. The present situation may suggest government ownership ol ] actual government control. Be that as it may there should be no delay
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

NOT DISCOURAGED The high cost of living Dan Cupid may daunt, But impassioned wooers Have no fear of want.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. Yes, the H. c. of L. They can give the ha-ha; They know they can always Fall back on papa!
 Newark (O) Advocate.
 PROVING IT T saw a masher approach a pretty girl on the street yesterday. He got cold reception" That was what he deserved" "Yes She said to him: Beat it, you boob. I'm lady,"
 WE'LL QUALIFIED Have you a recommendation" Yes, ma'am. Here 1t is.'' 'Yes, ma'am. My late husband mar ried me because I was good cook"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Hamlet.
 < k
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
Mir. Hardirg's Plam
 To Help the Allies


 TTHE suggestion recently made by U w. P. G. Harding, governor of the federal reserve board, at the Quill club dinner in New York, that Con- rress should enact legislation to place the enormous financial resources ot this country at the disposal of the allies, was warmly received.
 Naturally MT. Harding's plan was highly commended abroad, but in the Tinted States, also, it is realized that il will devolve npon this country to do all in it's power to aid the cause for ~hich the allies are fighting. It is a cause in which America will be united ~,ith France, England and Russia-a ~trurcle for humanity and human lib- erty.
 MT. Harding said:
 We all appreciate the extreme Z wrayity of the present situation, a ana. while we cannot look into the
 fnture. it seems reasonably certain
 that this country is going to be
 drawn into the great struggle. We
 have. as American citizens. certain
 clearly defined duties. It is time
 when all clements of the communi-
 ~ shall stand together for Ameri-
 ra This s Is no time to harbor .54 4;S rreiudices. We should remember
 that we have a common cause. My
 nersonal opinion is that it is clear N N the duty of every man Of influ-
 once to exert every honorable
 means in his power for the purpose @ Al 6f inducing Congress to do what 1t * e~n do most quickly and effective i 1x in the present crisis. N Congress can very speedily pro Y vide the surest means of defense &s N enacting law which would en- # ahie the government to lend It's
 credit to those who are fighting for X the same cause. It Is my personal
 opfnion that this government E ohould in that contingency extend
 ~ the allied powers credit of .| 11 .Ooo, ,0oo, ,00o. taking as security
 fheir own obligations That would $ x no n effecttve measure of defense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24
ADDITIONAL ITEM

"when Tommy had the measles last month, his illness cost nearly $50" said Mrs. Twobbe
 That ain't all it cost" spoke up Tommy.
 .'What do you mean, child?'
 CT paid Sam Billikens 10 cents to let me catch 'em from him when he was breakin out"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

in considering and passing upon the latest petition.
 The commission will find it's task all the easier by reason of the fact that it only recently got an insight into complex problems pertaining to rates and operating economies and threshed out in detail all the propo- sitions now involved. Let's have no tedious sittings of the commission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-24

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second class matter up- der act of Congress, March 3, 1879.