The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-07-12
Dorothy DIG Says
BY DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer
Selfish Mother Love

reality it is the most selfish passion
that animates the human breast.
No matter how good and kind and
generous and sympathetic a woman
may be in other relations of life, when
it comes to her own children she be-
comes a savage, lighting tooth and
claw to get everything they want for
her own offspring.
She is incapable of perceiving that
anyone else has any rights or is en-
titled to any privilege if they conflict
with her children's. She is dead TO
any sense of justice or fair play be-
tween her children and other people
If other people have to be trampled
down or hurt to get them out of her
children's way, she is sorry, but she
doesn't hesitate about doing it, and
she is filled with wonder when they
resent it. She simply can't cempre-
bend why the whole world isn't glad
to sacrifice itself before her Mamie
and Johnnie.
OF course, the wise ones will tell
us that this ruthless mothers selfish
ness is an instinct inherited from our
primitive mothers who had to fight
with wild animals for the food to sus-
tain their children, but it's curious
how to this very day every woman
with a babe in her arms reverts to
type.
Watch the mother on the street car
who is taking her precious little
Bobby down town with her. Bobby's
shoes are covered with mud and dirt,
and the street car is crowded with
extensively dressed men and women
whose clothes will be soiled by being
used as a door mat for Bobby's shoes.
But does mother consider this? Not
at all. She calmly hoists Bobby up
on the seat and lets him kneel so he
can look out of the window, needless
of the damage that his dirty shoes do
to the raiment about him. And by
the time they reach their destination
Bobby's shoes are quite clean, and
four or five gowns and suits of clothes
have to go to the cleaner.
Or perhaps, Bobby takes the occa-
sion of riding on the street car to eat
bananas or chocolate creams, which
he generously smears all over the gar
ments of everybody in arms length of
him. Bobby's mother cannot fail to
perceive the havoc he is doing, but she
never even dreams of such a thing as
interfering with Bobbys appetite for
the sake OF protecting the innocent
bystander. What are other peoples
rights compared to Bobby wanting to
eat his banana right then and there
Nothing to her
The selfishness of mothers makes
visit from woman with children
more devastating than a plague of the
seven years locust. You have antique
mahogany that is the apple of your
eye. Mother never lifts her hand to
stay little Bobby when he take a pin
and scratches his name upon the poll
ished top of your most cherished
table. Instead, mother calls your at
tention to what a good hand he is
going to write. If Bobby wants to
make wagon wheels out of your grand
opera photograph records, mother en-
courages him to develop his inventive
faculty that way, and if little Mary
desires to play dolls with your Tana-
gra statuetteS, mother calmly hands
them down to her.
And if you object to having your
property destroyed by a lot of little
vandals, mother thinks you are a sell
, fish old crank not to be willing to
sacrifice your possessions for the
amusement of her darlings. She can't
rise to the point of view of your hav-
ing a right to your own things If her
children want them.
And it is amusing. and also tragic
to note how this mother selfishness
distorts a woman's sense of justice
when she comes to deal with one of
the most important problems in her
life-that of her relationship with the
men and women her daughters and
sons marry. Mother holds two radi-
cally different codes as to the duties
of husbands and wives as they affect
her own offspring.
She believes that it is the duty of
her daughters husband to toll day
and night to supply her Mamie with
all the extrava gances she Graves, and
to generally make himself a door mat
before her. She thinks that it is a
terrible imposition for NAMES hus-
band to. expect Mamie to do her own
homework. or even keep house unless
! she feel so inclined, or to practice any
thrift or economy, or do anything that
| ihterferes with her pleasure. She
thinks the city is too hot for Mamie
| in the summer and too cold in~the
I winter, and that the Maine coast or
Palm Beach is her befitting habitat in
, Indictment weather.
/ But mother thinks the city pleasant
/ at all seasons for Johns wife. Johns
wife should economize by doing her
i own cooking and sewing and baby
/ tending. and why on earth should she
! consider that she's got right to
spend his money by gadding around
! instead of staying at home and maxi
i ing her husband comfortable is some
/ thing Johns mother will never, never
/ be able to understand.
| The worst phase of mother selfish
| ness, however shows itself in the alb
solute heartlessness women exhibit to-
wards those whom their children
marry A woman will shut her lips
upon the secret of her child's infirm-
! ity that absolutely units him. or her,
! for marriage, and let the wedding go
J on altho she knows that the mar
! rage will wreck the life of the I'M
) fortunate and innocent man or girl
who is getting her defective daughter
| or son.
Murder is a small crime compared
to this, yet women who esteem them
| selves good Christian women, and
! who are examples IN the community,
| commit this inhuman cruelty without
! even a pang of remorse.
Not long ago, just such a case fell
! under my observation. A beautiful
and noble young girl, the darling of
her own parents, was invited to make
a visit in the home of woman who
was a leader in the church and fore
! most in all good works and phila n
| thropy in her town. The woman s
son. an utterly worthless, drunken,
immoral loafer, with a past as black
as sin could make it, fell in love with
this pure young girl.
The mother urged on the suit in