The Goldfield news and weekly tribune. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1911-1947, 1917-07-28
OLD FEB WHITE
He Tells a Story About a Cantsnkerous
Man
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1915, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By M. QUAD

we're Jest arter the wah," said Zeb
White, the possum hunter Of Tennes-
see, as he got his pipe alight one even
ing on the d~oorsteps. "Mebbe the wust
critter of the lot was named Tom
Smith. He didn't hev no family, but
Jest sorter hung around at the co'ners.
He was powerful ON the brag, but he
could fight fur all that, and bimeby
everybody got skeered o. him. He went
about with a chip ON his shoulder and
blood In his eye till sum men moved
away to git cl'ar O. him. Fur sum
reason he didn't bother me fur a long
time. but one day when | went down
to the co'ners to sell sum possum pelts
Tom was outer sorts and opened ON
me. He looks at me a long time with
a glare in his eye. Then he throws
down his hat and jumps on it and
yells:
"'Whoopee! Zeb White, behold the
jumper from Jumpersville! I'll bet my
rife agin them possum pelts i kin out
jump yo' by six inches. If yo' ar a
man with legs under yo' cum out and
try on me!
II seed he was tryin' to pick a quar-
rel" said Zeb. land so | talked soft to
him and tried to git away.
81 was in mighty pore health" ex-
planned Zeb. IAN no match fur SIGH a
man. and so l had to crawfish. Ev-
erybody said | orter shoot him down.
but | couldn't shed blood that way. 1t
hurts me to this day to remember that
l went home like u whipped cur, leavin'
that critter crow over me. but my mind
was made up to tackle him as soon as
l felt like a man ag'in. When | got
home l was cryin'. and the old woman
sez to me-. SEE she:
"'Zeb. has the wah broke out ag'inY
No
"'Then what's the matterT
1--we bin bluffed.'
Dye mean that Tom Smith has
erowed over yo'?'
That's jest what he has, and I'm so
pesky weak in the knees that had to
sit away from him.
"'Jest backed yO' down. did hep
He did. It's the fust time in my
life l ever crawfished fur any human
c%ritter.'
Reckon il IS. Zeb. | knows how yo'
feel. But yo' couldn't help 1t. If yO'
tackled him he'd hev broke yo' in two.
I'll go right at it and nurse yO' up,
and in fO' weeks You be fitten to whOp
Tom Smith till he can't boot. If yO'
hain't, I'll put OF yo'r clothes and
whOp him myself
81 felt better arter that" said Zeb.
though | couldn't get over the hurt to
my feelin's. One evenin'. about two
weeks arter tn. fuss and when | was
gainin' on it, but not feelin' much bet
ter. | was sittin' right yere when |
cotched sight of a bar across the road
yere them days. as nobody had been
home to kill 'em off. About the time
| cOtched sight of the bar Tom Smith
showed up. Tom saw me a~-sittin'
yere. and he stopped right by that
tree and thrOwed down his hat and
yelled. 'Zeb White. ar that yo' a-sot-
tin thar
at arr
do yo' call yo'self a MANI
mot a well man. If yo1l gin me
TO- weeks mo- III run yo' outer the
kentry.'
WAL" sighed the old man. ''he
talked hat way till | got mad and riz
up to go. but jest as | did so hat bar
waltZed across the road on his hind
feet and fetched him a cuff which
knocked him ten feet. Tom thought
I'd got out thar without his seem me.
and he was tickled to death as he riz
up and went fur the bier. We heard
hin sayin':
"'Zeb White. | said yO' wasn't a
man, but | take it all back. | didn't
believe yO'd stand up to me. and my
heart was nigh breakin'.'
Il reckon Tom must hev bin half
drunk not to Know Il bar from Il man.
and he soOn had a surprise party on
hand. The bar didn't seem hankerin'
arter meat. but he did want sum fun.
The bar knocked him down and rolled
him about a dozen times. and he got
many n good lick in on the bar. but
at length the tout was over. and Tom
Smith was Il whopped man, He hol-
Tered out that he'd got plenty. and |
reckon it was the same with the bar,
as he suddenly made off into the
woods. When Tom got over bein'
dazed he got up and said to me:
"'Zeb White. I'm a-beggin' Of yo'r
pardin. | thought yo' was a coward
and dasn't stand M to me-. but yo've
whopped me in a fair fout!"
WAS he badly used upT' l asked. as
the story seemed to be finished.
"He hadn't skassly n bit o clothin'
left on him." replied Zeb. land he vas
bruises and bites and claw marks from
head to heel. | reckon he might hev
got well from them. but his heart was
broke. He knowed | was in poor
health. and when he realized that he'd