Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1917-03-30
and / have been quarreling

~ ~ q OiIt VI III tllI6I IINei S4D.i:.
Quarreiins with Martha is more fun
IMAM agreeing viii the BOSS when he
WAnts II raise my salary. When
think OF what my life might have been
without haVing her with me to wade
lhfo me every night and assault me
with her entire large and well chosen
vocabulary while trying To persuade
me To revise my language. and squeeze
the hot air ont of il o.. to stop holding
Peter F.tAerbridec Simmons, jr. up by
one leg o" 10 admit that ! am entirely
wrong In my claims concerning the
weight Of Queen Anne. ! hold up my
lands and bless &i1Vash college. which
gave hen To me.
Qtiarteling with Martha is more ex-
hllaratins than shooting the chutos.
And it's q perfectly harmless pastime.
I've qualfoied with her for about eight
years now -thrce of them in Siwash
and ilse more since then. and as far as
remember VIC have never settled a
single quarrel or qlnrreled oyer a sub
Ject that was worth settling. am
Very proud of our system. Sometimes
j think we ought To patent il. No mat
ter what | really want to quarrel with
her about. or no matter what reason
she has foi locking up The Hague
ribune and calling out her reserves
against me, VIC always quarrel about
English history. It's a bully idea. You
can pvt Il. the enthusiasm and tobasco
SVu il'tSt iltb llit NIsCtiSSloU. Dut YOU
never get nywhere-most especially
you don't get around to what you
would really like to quarrel about.
That's why all OF our quarrels together
have never ianned out Il drop of brine.
If ] ever made Martha c.y l think I
should go ont to Lincoln park mo feed
myself to the lions.
1 suppose we choose English history
to row about because it was English
history which first brought us together
when ! WAS a bowling young nuisance
at Siwash and she was Il compendium
of useful information with a twinkle
IN her talk. | got acquainted because
OF English history-don't tell me a col
}ege education hasn't its advantages.
And most OF our quarrels end up With
Il discussion as to when l fell in love
with her. She maintains that 1t took
three years of steady effort on her part
to land me. I claim that II was Il case
OF love at first sight: that she won my
me declining to become acquainted with
me. and that long after I was her slave
she tried to give me away TO a fat girl
who wore No. 8 shoes. She always
shoulders at this and so do 1. 1t wasn't
q pleasant experience for me. Martha
and l went through college practically
haud in hand and only parted long
enough afterward to enable me to
%eandbag a Chicago bank into paying
me "A living salary. But there was "A
iIIVI 'hy IICSIiIIiiIl sSdt WIEN
oh. we'll. for that matter the whole
affair is fun of ifs. If I had gotten as
mad as ] should ave gotten at her in
dlnerence--if ! hadn't taken up study
to amuse myself that spring; If l hadn't
seen that Martha's hair would be beau
tiful if she fluffed 1t up instead of tying
1t in a hard knot that pulled her eye
brows out OF shape: and most particu-
larly if | hadn't gotten a tremendous
Crouch i'm the spring OF my freshman
year--I never would have gotten
Martha. It's fun to figure out all the
Ifs. Think of winning q Wife by get
ting an acute case of dark blue col|y-
wabbles! Ii that wasn't a t%op-heavy
reward for foolishness III give 1T up.
Now. I'm not going tc tell 1T all. be
cause while I'm perfectly willing to dis
Cuss other peoples love affairs l simply
can't seem TO care to lake the lid off
and let the world peer into ours. o
I persuaded Martha to look upon me
as n pleasant diversion. and how 1
persuaded her to come down about a
thotsand miles and decorate existence
for m~c-those arc secrets. Hut / don't
mind telling you how it all started.
After all. that's the important part of
these college affairs. It's just like roll
Ing q SNOWFALL %downhiil- start it and
you don't have to worry about it. 1t
will tako care of itself. That's all l
avn ubkl yEt ~ All y Win
Martha. l started the affair; but ]
didn't mean n thing by 1t, either.
Neither did she mean anything. In
fact, she WIS a lot meaner that I
about 1t.
1t was the calendar that really be-
gun it all. One of the most mysterious
things in college life is the way the
year slips by under you and goes away
before you are half through with 1t. !
This never failed to surprise and grieve
ME. A year IL such a confoundedly
long affair when you look 1t in the face |
particularly Il college year. When
you consider, along In September. that
before June you have to go to chapel
300 times. read through several books |
written In decayed languages. and fig
ure ont ~ chubby volume Of trigonom-
etry problems that look like aeroplane |
wrecks when they are put on the black
board. the year seems like q quarter |
section OF eternity. But suddenly, just
After you've made q lot OF friendships, |
have become a decided hit with q num-
Der OF iris: are rounding into good
shape IN the 22o squad. and have a
dozen plans for the e~nlivenment of the
campus we'll under way. you wake up
70 fiMd that there Is about a month left
before commencement. and that at the
ind OF shat month the college will ex-
pIohe and scatter your brand new life /!
long friends to all parts OF the coun-
try.
This IL the reason why so many col |
lege boys become pensive along In April
and get what, IL technically known as
an ingrowing Crouch. They stop Gid
Dteaaures. with al; care coming behind /
b slow freight. and begin to philoso-
phs4s. And when q college boy begins
a. phllosoUhize he does a thorough and
palnetaktng job. He doesn't omit any
1tias that ~ add to his gloom. He
la1ken Himself npart M carefully az II