The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1917-02-20

peared as the nefO1ne ana Barney CT. W. Lawson" as the irrepressible villain. Introducing the musical sketch, one of the correspondents with a tremulo tenor sang Down the Leaky Way'' which was followed by another sung by a club member in the character of Representative Wood of Indiana, whose resolution led to the Congressional investigation into charges of leak on the peace notd message.
 The 'Leaky Way" chorus ran thus: Come where the information oozes
 Down on the Leaky Way. Come see the Lambs at play,
 Bears eager for the fray; Come hear the ticker gently ticking,
 Giving the leaks away. See the brokers gay.
 They are making hay,
 Down on the Leaky Way.
 The impersonator of Representative Wood was presented as William Wood, the Plumber, the Man Who Stops the Leaks, who sang: I come from Indianny, A statesman great and true, And when smell a scandal
 don't care what I do; Oh, if I hear a rumor
 I follow it for weeks. For Pm William Wood, the Plumber,
 I'm the guy who stops the leaks.
 "Hazel Jones" as one of the silent suffrage sentinels at the White House was introduced and made the target of several jibes in a minstrel skit. "Do you know Hazel Jones" uueried one of the wandering min- strel-correspondents
 "Why, yes,'' was the response. "She is one of the silent sentinels at the White House gates
 "Do you know Hazel had an awful accident?'' .'Is that so? What happened tc Hazel?"
 "Why, one of those big fat squirrels her ear" i''41 '" '@' ~"Thats horrible, Did they kill the squirrel?" "No indeed. The President said it | wasn't the squirrels fault, and the President was right" ''I must disagree with you. The l President was wrong" s'Well, suppose you were squir- rel and you swere hungry and you couldn't get any pork-chops, or lamb chops, beef steak, or fried onions, or anything like that. and you were just 1 a plain, old-fashtoned squirrel with an appetite for nuts, and for eight | hours in the rain and the snow and the sleet somebody stood in front of your house that they called Hazel ---. I leave it to you. The Presi- dent was right, he sure was right" Camping Tonight" was a song to the Suffrage Sentinels, running thus: l We're camping tonight on the White House grounds, l Give us a rousing cheer; | Our golden flag we hold aloft, EA Of cops we have no fear. =. Many of the pickets are weary to- Wishing for the war to cease Many are the chi1blains and frost bites, too, l It is no life of ease.
 Tom Lawson, Barney Baruch, Charley Sabin and Otto Kahn" ap- peared as a quartet, singing: '.They met Tom Lawson in the Street, l Barney and Charles and Ct. He said: You boys appeared to know
 More than the public ought; Now won't you come to Washington I And tell about the 1eak?' They whispered: No, no, thank you, 1 Tom.'
 And didn't give a squeak. | "But Tom came, willing, eager, too,
 And said they should be brought So Henry sent a Sergeant-at-arms l
 Barney and Charles and Ot Now boys said Bob, come tell us all l About this inside rsng.' They whispered: No, no thank you, l Bob.' And didn't tell thing" pr. Grayson, whose nomination as medical director of the Navy with rank of Rear Admiral, was another 1 target for musical shafts to the tuno of Captain Jinks."
 seHe's an Admiral great, in the new
 Navy, His name is Dr. Cary G. And though he'll seldom go to sea,
 He's an Admiral in the Navy; And if the Navy has & chill
 Take a pill, take a pill, 1 ASo DateieSHip Will nave the grip While he's Admiral in the Navy. l In initiating a new member of the club. John Snure, correspondent of the Des Moines Register-Leader. psuedo Ellis Island officials conduct ed an immigration examination for admission. Inspector to applicant sharn1v: l"Born?''
 Applicant: "Yes."
 "Business?" Rotten
 Foreign country?"
 "1oway.'
 Who is President of the United States?"
 woodrow wilson,
 What does he do?" | Spends most of his time doagfne women with yellow flags"
 Who is the vioe-President7 2" | tt1 :