Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1917-12-06
Wasted Words

good-looking woman in the 40s, as
her slim young niece cracked wal
nut between her teeth.
"Oh, pooh! !"-scoffed the young wom-
an, selecting another nut. "It's just as
easy!"
"And while on the subject" pro-
ceeded her aunt, 'if you persist in
going outdoors in the cold immediate
ly after washing your face as you do,
why, you won't have any complexion
left! And you don't brush your hair
even SO little as ten strokes a
day"
my goodness!" broke in her niece,
IL guess look all right! Why wor-
ry?"
"Oh, my grief!" groaned the good
looking woman in the 40s. "As il 1t
was any use at all talking to 'em!
Don't l know that l acted the very
same way when l was 16?
Why, at 16 you think your complexion
is guaranteed for life by the pure food
act, that you alone have a warranted,
completely impervious set of teeth
and that each hair of your head is
| riyeted down on the other side of
your skull! You are proud and free
and condescending! Thousands of
ages off,, you admit. you may be
few years older, but your body has
lasted thus far. so why not always?
why, the chief curse Of getting old
II the time you have to waste bobbing
your head three times to the ground
a. you approach beauty parlor, the
dentists office and the gymnasium!
The time has gone by when you are
allowed to grow old in peace and an
atmosphere of decay-it isn't being
done in our set of late years! You
find the most amazing lot of people
| living in expensive homes and running
three cars, more or less, all supported
by the hale and hearty sufferers. Of
40 or SO who are simply paralyzed at
| discovering all the various things that
| must be done to support their totter.
ing old age! One day you survey your
teeth and fondly congratulate yourself
that there isn't finer. whittier, more
energetic set of teeth on earth than
| yours-and the next day you discov-
er tiny rough spot on the angle OF
one tooth, SO you drop in at the dent.
lists.
| II don't know why dentists nova
| days have to put themselves into
such snowy-white, enameled, highly
sterilized, solemn atmosphere. You
don't quite know whether you are ex-
| pected to Join in hymn No. 2S or
select seat in the front row to watch
the eminent surgeon operate. In any
| case, you are scared to death at once.
| The young person in white nurses
uniform relieves you Of your wraps,
the dentist himself appears drying his
hands and waiting an antiseptic odor.
the electric sterilizer bakes and broils
and everything metal glitters horribly.
| You feel awfully downhearted sudden
ly as the chair engulfs you and scars
upward.
Mean weather, isn't it?' the den.
list asks, bending over to observe
your almost perfect teeth. 'H'm!' he
says, and shakes his head. Well,
after you have had those three back
teeth extracted and those two crown.
ed and semiplate put in and about
ten porcelain inlays they may last a
while. Why, / should say the work
s400 and S506-oh, twenty sittings,
more or less, probably
You go home and sob yourself to
sleep and give up your new fur coat
and the trip to New Orleans, and
when you've resigned yourself trifle
you go for your usual shampoo. The
head of the place himself takes charge
Of you that day.
Now, see here he addresses you
dictatorially, what's the use of your
fussing along with ordinary shampoo
and promising to massage your scall
! and never doing it? Do you realize
that you haven't half the hair you had
five years ago and that in ten years
you'll be bald if you go on this way?
You don't want to wear wig, do you:
What you've got to do is come down
here twice week from now on for d
hot oil rub and an electric massage
And you must stop curling your hail
yourself, for you are breaking it al
off! And you might just as we'll buy {
fifty dollar switch first as last! Why
the semi-weekly treatments are two
dollars each, and I'll put you down fol
next Tuesday, thank you'll
"The complexion girl looks dubious
when you go for a massage. Some
how, she says, this ordinary cream
doesn't seem to do any good an!
more! You'll have to begin using thi!
wonderful stuff at five dollars jar
and you'd better come oftener for tn,
treatments, too!'
You feel like calling an ambulanc,
to get home, because you are afrai,
you'll creak and rattle to pieces an,
fall apart II you don't. You realiz
that in earnest and, oh. how you wisl