The Washington herald., 1917-10-10
How to Be Happy Though Married.
By DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

A young couple who are going TO
be married soon came to me the other
day and said:
Everyone speaks Of matrimony as
the biggest gamble on earth, and as
IL 1t were purely a matter Of luck
how 1t turned out Judging from most
Of the people we know this appears
to be true. and they guessed wrong.
We do not wish to leave the success
Of our marriage to blind chance. Are
| there no rules by which one can play
sane and safe game with a fair
certainty Of winning out?"
why. bless you, my children" /
, replied. there Is no more real rea-
| son why marriage should not be a
sure-hre happiness proposition than
there is why any other human un-
dertadng should fail. And II would
f, be 30 II people would only apply one
half of the energy and effort and in
telligence toward making marriage a
success that they do toward making
grocery business or a bridge whist
success.
"Of course, accidents will occasion
ally happen. A man will marry O
| fool who was such a cute little baby
doll that he didn't recognize her for
what she was until after he was tied
to her for life, or a woman will
get a brute who is camouhaged as a
big. strong, manly man, for a hus-
band. When either Of these catas-
trophies befall a man or woman. they
are doomed to misery or the divorce
court. Nothing the Individual can dc
will save that marriage from disas-
ter. but in ordinary cases the observ-
ance of just a few simple rules can
be guaranteed to make matrimony
a grand. sweet song. instear Of the
scrapping-match 1t only too often is,
THE first rule of how to be happy
though married is to make a cast
iron resolution to never argue, and
to live up to It In spite of all temp
tations. II would save half of the
divorces and untold broken hearts
and misery II the motto. Don't Ar
gue," was painted on every room in
| every house in the land. Argument
never gets you anywhere except into
trouble. Nobody is ever convinced
in an argument. or changes an opin'
ion. All that 1t does is TO provoke
friction and rouse temper and make
people say things that rankle like
fostering thorns in ones memory.
IF the no-argument rule prevailed
in every household it would strange
the family spat at its birth and as
sure that atmosphere Of peace and
harmony in the home which is tn,
only air in which Cupid can breathe
OF course. no man and woman ar
going to think alike on every sub
| he That fe
sible, but they need not argue ovel
the points on which they differ.
Let the man concede 30 his wifi,
her perfect right to think as sh'
pleases about a subject. Let th'
woman grant her husband the privi
lege OF his opinion. Let them ever
state them once, and then IL they dis
agree, drop the matter and turn q
more harmonious topics for discus
sion. Put the soft pedal on the argu
ment and you have at least laid th'
foundations for happy home.
The second rule for, how to b'
happy though married Is to cut ou
tho boss stun. This goes both ways
for both husband and wife. Moderr
conditions and modern thoughts have
rendered the old idea that there haC
to be a head Of the house. who wa
a sort Of fiat-sized grinding tyrant
as extinct as the Dodo. Marriage hat
ceased to be an autocracy. II has be
come a democracy.
| Because a man has married
woman gives him no right over her
body and soul. no right to control he
every act, to dole out pennies to he
instead of giving her a fair share o
their mutual income; no right to i'm
pose a species of domestic slavery oil
her Because a woman has married
a man gives her no riEht to hen
peck him to death with petty tyran
dies. to tell him what he shall eat an,
drink. and when he shall come home
and where he shall smoke. and
thousand restraints upon him that irl
him to madness.
| whenever you find a couple VIII,
are wise enough to give each othe
the widest possible degree of persona
liberty you will find a couple thai
has made the most success of matri
mony. The querulous complaininl
wives are the ones beating impotentl,
against the doors of homes that hav,
been made jails by their husbands. Tn
extravagant women are the womel
trying to set even with husband