The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1917-05-04
THE SEVEN AGES
OF A CONGRESSMAN
BY JOHN A. CORWIN,
Member Gridiron Club, Washington D. c.

The Grfdiron club Of Washington. d. c..
is composed OF the Washington correspon-
dents OF the big American newspapers
and newspaper organizations. Twice each
year they give elaborate dinners at which
a very large number of the prominent
men OF the nation are the guests of MEM
bers Of the club. Included in these guests
are the president and vice president.
members of the cabinet and the Supreme
court, diplomatic representatives of for
eign governments, many senator's and
congressman, prominent army and navy
officers and others from all parts OF the
country who are prominent in financial.
Industrial, commercial and professional
lines. These dinners are numbered among
the real" events of the winter season at
the national capital, and invitation TO
one OF them is highly priced. The mem
bers of the club provide entertainment
OF jests and jokes and caricatures. many
Of which are at the expense OF prominent
guests, but all of which are taken in the
spirit In which they are offered. and are
never intended to be offensive. a rule OF
the club prevents the printing of any
thing any guest may say at one of these
dinners, but 1t is permissible TO print
anything any member of the club may
say or do as part of the program pro-
vided by the club. One of the many ap-
preciated features of the program of
the last dinner was the following poem
prepared and recited by Mr.. John A. Cor
win, entitled, 1.-THE Seven Ages of a Con-
gresham" 1t will be appreciated by ev-
cry reader OF this paper. as il was by
every guest at the dinner:
AZ Ii the world of politics stage,
IN And all the men therein are merely
players:
They have their exits and their en-
frances;
And one man in his time plays many
His acts being seven ages. At first the
infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurses arms.
The chief contestant in the baby show
At county fair. Then country school
teacher,
In winter term at fifteen plunks per
And boarding round with Blackstone un-
der arm,
Dog-eared. well thumbed, and frowsy
morning face.
Creeping like snail unwillngly to school.
Whereat he fiogs numerically the boys
And kisses the more comely bigger girls
To's hearts content.
IA ND then, scant twenty-three
IN A licensed member Of the county
bar,
Prosecuting attorney by the peoples
choice
A standing menace and a holy terror
To horse and chicken thieves; the mortal
OF those who sell intoxicants or sack
In violation of the law; his stipend being
Two hundred bucks year, and fees de-
rived
From fines imposed on the unfortunate:
A - .l<~tl, 4~sx
To have imposed, and swiftly doth collect
On penalty of jail
" EHOLD him now
~ At twenty-six part owner of the
sheet
That issues weekly in his native town,
Hub-deep in politics. sudden in quarrel.
Boosting the bubble reputation of the
burg
In season and in out; teacher of Eible
class,
An officer of Epworth and Chautauqua
Leagues.
President of county fair, and orator
AT all old settlers picnics; mayor OF the
No salary attached. but great emolu-
mentS
In increased practices and his business
grows
And exc doth flourish like a green bay
horse.
~ He's in the Senate of his native
State
And president pro tenn thereof chair
OF the Judiciary. with membership upon
Committees such as Railroads. Agricul-
Municipal corporations. License. Educa-
tion
And of the little select committee of
seven
Which meets in quiet every Tuesday
To try the rights of property; twenty-five
cent chips.
With every pot Jack. rudels round for
tours.
And consolation purse of dollar ante
To finish ALL
6RHE sixth age shifts
Not into lean and slippered panta-
loon
But into Congress in a long-tailed coat
Our hero finds himself the chairman
OF Ventilation and Acoustics, and his
clerk.
At s. per day, is son of manager
Who swings his district; his daughter.
Perchance his wife his private secretary:
With stationery and mileage well con-
served.
He lives within his means term after
term
Fills in Chautauquas at 500 per.
The morals of the District of Columbia
regulates.
And moves from stuffy fiat to roomy
house:
And so he plays his part.
Asst scene OF all
Il, That ends this strange eventful his
tory.
Behold the Senator with eye severe
In fair round belly with good canvasback
And Cuvee Brut we'll lined-Now getting
his
Living upon fashionable street