The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-29

THE EMMT
by town was late at the sermon las
Sunday, and as told to US, was cen
sured by the pastor. Explaining tn
reason for being late, the good siste
said the horse she was driving bolte'
and wrecked the buggy. my dea
sister," said the pastor, "such littl
things should not make you late al
the divine survives. You should trus
in the Lord" "Well," she replied
and there was calm peacefulness OF
her face, 81 did trust in the Lord UNI
til the belly band of the harness broke
and then / jumped"
4 4 4
Several darkies were discussing the
best branch Of the service TO enlist
in, and one darby suggested the avia-
ton branch. This conversation en-
sued: First Darky-How come you
don't jine dis yere flying squad? Amt
much chance to get kilt after you
learn to ride one. You go so high
dat de guns CANT reach you. Second
Darky-Hold on dere, brudder! You
amt talkin' to me. | knows zactly
how dat things gwine to be. You
goes up bout three miles, an the
dog-gone contrapshun--hit stops. An
de white man what you is riding wit,
he says: "Hey, niger! Get out an
crank upl" No, sub; don't need no
flying in mine!"
An old fellow known throughout the
community, for his suffering, as well
as his shrewdness in making bar
gain stopped farmer and his team
and inquired: "How m-m-many CHI
chickens have you got? ?" Eight, sir"
replied the farmer. Though or TT
tender?" "Some are tough and some
are tender" was the reply. 81 XXX
keep b-b-boarders," said the old man.
''P-pick out the four t-t-tough chi
chi-chickens, if you p-p-please." The
honest farmer very willingly COM
piled with the unusal request, and
said, in his politest way: "These are
the tough ones, sir" Upon which his
suffering customer cody put his hand
upon the remaining four, and remark
ed: "I'll t-t-take th-th-these."
Old Bill Misgivens has an inven-
i've turn of mind that gets him out of
OTIS of trouble The latest trouble
vas when his wife told him to beat
he carpets, as should have been beat
| month ago. Bill didn't know what
% do, for she just went and put them
IN the wash line and said there they
would stay for all of her until he beat
hem. Well Bill has the friendliest
log you ever saw, always wagging
lis tail. That tail isn't ever still,
he dog can't seem to stop it. And
It's about two and half feet long.
Bill took that dog up aside of the car
pets and tied him there, and now and
hen he'd lead him to new spot The
log just wagged his tail all the time
md got the carpets beat fine.
When for years your friends have
'een remarking your gray hairs; and
our teeth repairs have mounted I'M
ill you have concluded you might as
veil be keeping car; and the least |
title excursion into fine print gives a
and your wife explains to
isitors that you have outgrown all
interest in dancing and cards; and
IL your old girls have children going
o school; and the only movies you
are to see any more are the war pic
ures; and then when one evening,
ONE young folks are in and old fash
oned molasses and vinegar taffy is
nade, with walnuts in, and your wife
avs you'd better go easy on it or
QUILL regret it before morning, and
GU throw caution to the winds and
at all you want, and awaken next
lorning, feeling perhaps like 16-
without pain-ain't it one
f those wellknown grand and glorious
ceiling?
& z q
The corpse was neatly composed
yithin a plain coffin, standing in the
lain room where were gathered the
elatives and such of the neighbors
S could find space. The dignfied
nd solemn funeral air" was over
IL; they sat hushed in breathing sill
noes. The preacher arose. 1t was
lst at this juncture that there enter
d long, lanky Down East native,
in Sunday clothes and
queaky shoes. The undertaken tried
D head him off, the preacher frowned
nd others made signs and gestures
nat were unmistakable. But despite
nese the late conner stalked over to