Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1917-02-18

Wood, the Plumber, the Man Who Stops the Leaks"
 Beware Of Squirrels.
 Hazel Jones" as one of the silent suffrage sentinels at the white house was introduced and made the target of several iibes in minstrel skit.
 "Dd you Anow Hazel Jones'" correspondents.
 "Why yes" was the response. she is one of the silent senC1 :ls at the white house gates.'
 DO you know Hazel had an awful accident?"
 Is that so? What happened to Hazel?"
 "Why, one of those big fat squir- Iels in the white hOure grounds bt off her ear.'
 That's horrible. Disi they kill the squirrel?'
 'No indeed. The president said it wasn't the squirrels fault, and the president was right"
 q must disagree with you. Tho president was wrOng.'
 
 and you were hungry and you couldn't get any pork chops, or lamb chops, beef steak, or fried orions, or any thing like that, and you were just I plain old Fashioned squirrel with an appetite for nuts, and for eight hours in the rain and the snow and the sleet somebody stood in iront of your house that they called na2el ----. leave if to you. The president was right, he sure was right"
 Camping Tonight vas a song to the Suffrage Sentinels, running thus We're camping tonight on the white
 house grounds,
 Give us rousing cheer; Our golden flag we hold aloft,
 Of cops we have no fear. Many of the pickets are weary to-
 night.
 Wishing for the war to cease Many are the chilblains and frost
 bites, too,
 It is no life of ease.
 The Leak, Tight Quartet.
 "Tom Lawson, Barney Baruch, Charley sabin and Otto Kahn" ap- peared as quartet, singing: lHSt Illcl l OIll lLd W SOu III CuG SlIGCU, Barney and Charles and Ot He said: You boys appeared to know More than the public ought; Now won't you come to Washington And tell about the leak?' They whispered: No, no, thank you,
 Tom,
 And didn't give squeak. "But Tom came, willing, eager, too, And said they should be brought So Henry sent sergeant-at-arms for Barney and Charles and Ot. Now boys,' said Bob. Come tell us all About this inside ring They whispered: No. no thank yoa, And didn't tell thing"
 pr. Grayson, whose nomination as medical director of the navy with rank of real admiral, was another target for musical shafts to the tune of Captain Jinks."
 Burlesquing Literacy Test. In initiating new member of the club, John Snure, correspondent of 1 he Des Moines Register-Leade osuedo Ellis Island officials conduct ! ed an immigration examination for | admission. Inspector to applicant sharply: 'Born?"
 Applicant: "Yes." "Business?'
 Rotten"
 Foreign country?" "Ioway."
 "Who is president of the United 'tates?"
 "Woodrow Wilson," "What does he do?" Spends most of his time lodging vomen with yellow flags" "Who is the vice president?" "I don't know.' Never mind, neither do we" "Who makes the laws?" "Woodrow Wilson," eff Wilson makes the laws, what oes congress do?" "Squanders money on creeks, rivu. cts and bluffs, mostly bluffs" What is the building called in 7hich congress meets?'' "A school for scandal "What are the qualifications for a ear admiral of the navy?" "To cure cold and play a good anne of golf.'' Are you an anarchist?" Il. "No, I'm member of the press allery."
 Thereupon the applicant qualified or admission.
 The Hiram Johnson Act. In the inauguration of Ira E. Ben- cit, originally from California, as resident of the club,a group of Cali )rnia bad men" and Senator-elect [iram J. Johnson, appeared. "Ah in" described the recent election, thus: The voting went on a way that