Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1917-10-04
Copyright 1910, The Bobbs. Merrill Company
CHAPTER xxill.-continued.

1ueCe WIS something peculiarly HOT-
rifying to him in the exhibition Ran
dOlph was making of himself. He'd
never in his life taken IL drink ex-
cept conyiviully, and then he took as
little as would pass muster. Going off
alone and deliberately fuddling one
self, as a means of escaping unpleas-
ant realities, struck him as an act Of
the basep .owardice. But for that
picture n Rose he'd have gone long
ago a:ss left Randolph to his bemused
reflections. Only Rose had
asked him to drop in on the doctor for
visit. Did she mean she wanted him
to try to help?
He tried, though not very success
fully, to conceal his violent disrelish of
the task, when he said: Look here,
Jim! What is the matter with you!
Are you sober enough to tell me!"
Randolph put down his glass. II
have told you" he said. "Tm Eleanors
kept man. Well kept, oh, yes! Beau
tifully kept. I'm nothing but pos
session of hers! A trophy of sorts, an
ornament. I'm something she's made.
l have IL big practice. I'm the most
fashionable doctor in Chicago. They
come here. the women, in shoals.
That's Eeanor's doing. I'm a faker,
fraud. pose for them. play up.
! give them what they want. And
that's her doing. They go silly about
me; fancy they're in love with me.
X haven't done lick of honest work
in the last year. I can't work. She
won't let me work. She-smothers me.
Wherever turn, there she is, smooth
Ing things out trying to make it easy
trying to anticipate my wants. I've
only one want. That's to be let alone.
She can't do that She's Unsuitable.
There's always something more she's
trying to get. and TIN always trying to
keep something away from her, and
failing"
"And why? Do you want to know
why. Aldrich? That's the cream of the
thing. Because we're in love with
each other. She wants me to live on
her love. To have nothing else to live
ON.
"Do you want to know what my no.
ton of heaven is? 1t would be to go
off alone, with one suit of clothes in
a handbag, oh. and fifty or hundred
dollars in my pocket wouldn't mind
that; don't want to be tramp-to
some mining town, or slum, where I
could start a general practice; where
the things I'd get would be accident
cases, confinement cases: real things,
urgent things. that night and day are
all alike to. I'd like to start again and
be poor; get this stink of easy money
out of my nostrils. I'd like to see if I
could make good on my own.
II came back from New York, after
that look ut Rose. meaning to do it:
meaning to talk it out with Eleanor
and tell her why, and then go. Well,
talked. Talks cheap. But didn't go.
I'll never go. I'll go on getting softer
and more of a fake; more dependent.
And Eleanor will go on eating me up
until the last thing in me that's me
myself is gone. And then. some day,
she'll look ut me and see that I'm moth.
ing"
Then, with suddenly thickened speech
Can afrectation, perhaps), he looked ul
at Rodney and demanded:
"What are you looking so s-soleml
about? Can't you take joke? Come
along and have another drink"
"No." Rodney said. "I'm going. Ant
you'd better get to bed"
Rodney walked home that night like
a man dazed. The vividness Of one
blazing idea blinded him. The thine
that Randolph had seen and lacked tho
courage to do; the thing Rodney de
spised him for coward for havin:
failed to dO-that thing Rose had done
Without knowing it, yielding to q
blind. unscrutinized instinct, he'd want
ed Rose to live on his love. He'd tried
20 smooth things out for her, anticipate
ser wants. He'd wanted her soft, help
Tess, dependen:. Shed seen. even then
something he'd been blind to-some
thiAg he'd blinded himself to: tina
acve. by itself, was not enough. Tha
1t could poison, as we'll as feed.
But she had won, among the rest o
her spoils Of victory, the thing she hat
originally set out to get. His friend
ship and respect. Friendship, he re
naembered her saying, was thing yo'
had to earn. When you'd earned it. I
couldn't be withheld from you. Well
n was right she should be told that
made to understand it to the full. H
couldn't ask her to come back to him
But she must know that her respec
was as necessary nav to him as she'
once said his was I'd her. He must Sc
her and tell her that.
He stopped abruptly in his walk. Hi
bones, as the Psalmist said, turned I
water. How should he confront thl
gaze of hers, which knew SO much an
understood SO deeply-he. with tt
memory of his two last ignominious el
counters with her behind him?
CHAPTER XIV.
rsFs Friends.
.9Nxcept for the vacuum where Il
no and heart Of IL all ought to ha,