davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Wise and UnWise.

The keener the critic the more cut
ting the criticism.
Time and silence often succeed
where all other agencies fail.
A thing of comfort is seldom a JOY
to the woman Of fashion.
It's easier to play on hand organ
than on some peoples sympathy.
A woman's most amiable fault is her
inclination to believe everything a man
tells her.
Since the war began the babies are
up in arms and opinions are fired at
random
The patriotism of some men is lim-
tied to red, white and blue poker chips.
There are times when the brave de-
serve immunity from the fair.
The wife who chases her husband
with poker rules him with a rod Of
iron.
Darwin's theory may be all right, but
lots of men make monkeys of them
selves.
When woman calls her husband Il
fool he habitually pleads guilty on the
ground that he married her.
The liquid voice of voluble woman
would probably be priced more If she
would occasionally turn off the flow.
A man may be too old to enlist, but
his age never keeps him from going to
the front when there is spectacular
show in town.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Whimsical McGraw.

AL Demaree's return to the Giants
is another evidence of the eccentric
whims Of John McGraw.
When Demaree went to Philadel-
phia in trade with the New York
club, Gotham fans thought they had
seen the last of him in Giant uni
form, for McGraw seldom turns a
player loose unless he is satisfied that
the player has outlived his usefulness
as Giant, and he seldom calls a man
back.
Because of this Demarees "cOme
back" marks a peculiar turn in the
administration of the Giants. Only a
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
SOME SMILES
A Lost Opportunity.

(gloomily)- Call
ing my strategic
lines by Wagneri-
an names doesn't
seem to have done
any good.
Kaiser ipeev-
ishly)-Of course
it didn't. If you
wanted to fright
en- off the enemy
with Wagner why
didn't you have
the + c & / IN e ntal
bands play the
music?
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
No Complaint.

"What are we
going to do about
the scarcity Of
meat?"
Don't say nuf-
fin tail bout it,
said Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley. "Ef we
can't git ordinary
meat, Wen be jcs'
naturally Obliged
to eat fried chick.
en-"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
On His Estate,

Willis-What sort of a man is he?
Gillis-Well, if he had n country es-
tate he'd have the katydids saying
Katy done it," before a week was III.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09


will valuable industrial training
Training Illinois, building
Michigan
building
chemistry
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
One Resemblance.

Here you have scattered bullets all
over the range. Thought you said You
were like lightning with n rifle
'Well, lightning never hits twice In
the same place"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Not His Fault.

The Sire-No, won't let you marry
my daughter. You can't earn your
salt.
The Suitor-And yet you also COM
plain of my being too fresh.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
varvlno Lenoths Of Life.

While crabs are known to have lived
for half a century, the average life Of
the oyster is but four years. Frogs
die sooner than toads, as the latter
MAJ live for 80 years.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Litera! Ennui.

Hes dangling that big watch of his
to amuse the baby because he didn't
know what to do with himself"
"Yes, l see time is hanging heavily
on his hands"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Home Exhibition.

wouldn't you love to see those
tanks in France wobbling along?"
81 don't have to go to France. l can
see one every time the old man comes
home late"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
They Miuht,

"My shoes wear out too darn quick"
"Why don't you get a pair Of them
heavy policemen's shocs?"
II should think they'd be apt to
pinch a chap"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Safety First.

Nice Old Lady-Do you play on the
piano, Harold?
Little IIarold--Not when muw's
around. Shed be afraid I'd fall of.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
Their ADVANTAGE.

II don't see how anybody can fall
out with street rar conductors"
"Why nOt?''
Because they view everything In
such fare light"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
"SomeWhere.n

Mollie (who has been naughty and
condemned to no toast")-Oh
mummy, anything but that! I'd rath
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09

A refrigerator made of concrete
coOls by the action of water flowing
over the sides of the device.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09

err have hard smack-anywhere you
like.-Punch.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09

Kazan is huge and vicious
Alaskan sledge dog, one-quarter
gray wolf. He saves his mas
ter's life and is taken along
when the master goes to civili-
zation to meet his bride and re-
turn with her to the frozen
country. Even the master Is
afraid to touch the dog, but Iso-
bel, Kazan,s new mistress, wins
his instant devotion. On the
way northward McCready, a
dog-team driver, joins the party
and Immediately Kazan tries to
attack him. Even IsObel finds 1t
hard to quiet the dog.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-11-09
NJ w Vtr w w w w w w w ubf w VI
p EPIGRHYMES: g

p ! don't pretend to be e
. the sort of hero that he e
b was, for Nathan Hale
u thought ONLY of his, flag:
- I'm glad because there's =
- deep within my heart e
. shame-faced feeling of 4
REGRET THAT am not quite 3
- man enough to die like
- that-not yet. We HAVE e
. BUT ONE LIFE, rich or 4
. poor; myself, have
one prayer-that when l
. come TO LOSE it, they e
- will say, THAT man was e
n There - And SO I'll give *
my services, FOR, meath 8
- his flag and mine, MY
T. love of COUNTRY ought to e
" grow like his-almost =
= Divine.
= Robert Russell.
= II only regret that l have but
r. one life to lose for my country" =
VrVlr Vbr w Tir qDp tlr w w VIZ Nlt w %
downright 1917 by Int'l Press Bureau1
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

lgnatius knows that he has been
radical in his writings
for the "Askov American" the
editor has acted the part of a
perfect gentleman in allowing
our jottings to enter his paper.
We have been tempted to believe
that we are of some account.
This thought was exploded, when
we remember that this is coun-
try of free speech or perhaps you
dear reader think of Ignatius as
a poor, deluded, critic, who seeks
some free advertising. Well any
way let's hear from you. Igna-
thus is never too old to learn.
-Ignatius.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

count of ourselves as a communi-
ty, county or state in the dis
charge of our war responsible
ties.
Many of these things are ad-
justed readily when once the
state of the public mind becomes
accustomed to their necessity of
scale of lower prices are to be
brought about or further in
creases to be avoided. The evils
Of wasted energy and expense
of production, delivery, ETC., are
generally the result of a public
demand.
The public must be educated
to work in cooperation with
those who serve them to sacrifice
the unnecessary things for those
that are absolutely necessary for
their we'll being.
The State Commission has a
great work before it along these
lines and it is necessary that
every individual, firm and corpo-
ration work with it in complete
harmony to bring about the
elimination of extravaganza, du-
plication Of delivery and waste
fulness on the part of the con-
sumer.
A great amount of information
has already been gathered for
the State Commission that bear
on the subject of high prices to
the consumer and the special
committee of which Col. C. H.
March is chairman, is laboring
faithfully to arrive at a conclu-
sion that will enable it to make
a satisfactory, intelligent and
practical report. Cooperation
and information from all sources
is being solicited by this Com
mittee, and the newspapers will
be asked to give all publicity
possible to the work and it's re-
suit.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

Recently we were requested to
sign petition endeavoring all
the actions and speeches of Sena-
tor LaFollette. Bob may be 0. K.
in many of his political beliefs
and doings; but we cannot really
understand his motives in fight
ing against the principles of I'm
Gle Sam. We did not sign the petit
tion, because as said we do not
understand Mr.. LaFollette. Let
us think about this, before the
petition comes, let's think when
we read it, and when we are
handed the pencil, let's do some
more thinking. Perhaps some
one who has a better thinking
than we have, can help
us in our desire to understand
the little giant"
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
DIxEN-CHRISTENSEN

Another wedding which united
two young people from our COM
munity for life, Mr.. Jacob Chris
tensen and Miss Bertha Dixen.
took place at theDanish Luther
an church Sunday evening at s
o'clock, Rev. Kr. Andersen offici-
ating.
The bridal couple were at
tended by Miss Anna Rasmussen
and Andrew Christensen of
Minneapolis. After the cere-
mony the guests went to the
home of the brides parents, Mr..
and Mrs. S. Chr. Dixen, where
the evening was spent in a so
cial way.
The young couple have gone TO
housekeeping on the groom's
farm n miles south Of town.
The American joins with the
many friends Of Mr.. and Mrs.
Christensen in wishing them :
happy voyage over life's -
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
ANDSTONE TO VISIT ASKOy
FAIR

The Sandstone Commercial
Club has decided to come to
Askov in a body next Saturday
afternoon to visit our fair. Their
desire to cooperate and show
friendship toward their neigh
boring town is to be commended.
The following letter which was
addressed to all the Sandstone
Commercial Club members is
self-explanatory:
Sandstone, Mimi.
September II, 1917.
Dear Sir:
"Askov is holding their an
nual Market Day or Fair on Sat
urday of this week, September
the twenty-second. An excur-
sion is beng planned from Sand
stone to visit Askov and their
fair at this time. The party is
going by automobile and will
leave the Sandstone post office
building at one o'clock.
you are requested to join the
party, bring your machine and
go with the procession. Askov
usually has a good fair and if
you have not visited it in the
last year or so it will be we'll
worth your time to make the
trip.
This is just a friendly visit
to our neighboring town and you
need feel no timidity in joining
this excursion"
Very truly yours,
S. A. Colliver, Sec.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

reported to have given six Of
his sons to the United States
army. The Soerensen brothers
were all married, and not one
among them claimed exemption
on that ground as little as on
any other. They are all farmers
and every one of them was
drafted in the big lottery"
Six children on the west coast
of Jutland were killed last week
when a mine was washed ashore
from the North Sea. The mine
was thought to be German.-The
sensation of three continents,
that is, the revelations of diplo-
matte Swedish duplicity in Ar
gentine, still holds the front
page of the American newspa-
pers. The foreign minister of
Sweden has promised to look in-
to the matter and again pledged
his country to strict neutrality.
NO cable dispatches of any
Importance have been received
from Norway during the past
week.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
NUMBER 2.
LOCAL ITEMS OF
INTEREST TO ASKOV
News Items About You and Your
NeighbOrs, Which are Of
Community Interest.

Only two days more till che
Askov Fair.
L. C. Petersen and H. Peter
sen attended the Pioneer Fair at
Cloverton, Saturday. where the
former was one of the speakers.
The Askov Cooperative AS
sociation shipped two carloads of
live stock to St. Paul, Monday.
Emil Andersen accompanied the
shipment.
j. P. Nielsen came Saturday
with a carload of household
goods and farm machinery from
Coulter, Iowa, and has settled on
his place, one mile north of
town.
N. B. Miller and family re-
turned Monday from an automo-
bile trip to West Denmark. Wis,
where they had spent several
days visiting relatives and
friends. IL
Holger Mosbmk received no..
tice the other day that the York;
shire pig which he had entered
at the state fair took third prize.
Good for Holger; it looks like he
will make good farmer some
day.
Mrs. Jens Jorgensen has so
far recovered from her recent
operation at a Twin City
to leave that institution and is
recuperating at the home Of her
daughter, Mrs. Arthur Schultz,
in St. Paul.
Mrs. T. Breault of st. Paul,
visited here from Saturday un-
til Monday at the home of her
brother, /. A. Ecklund, east Of
town. Her little son, who came
with her. will remain for a
longer stay.
Mr.. and Mrs. Chr. Frederiksen
came up from Minneapolis Sat-
urday to attend the wedding of
the latter's sister, Miss Bertha
Dixen to Jacob Christensen.
which took place Sunday. Chr.
likes the army life,, and during
his spare time is busy at his
trade as barber.
Harry Dahm, who formerly
lived in Askov, visited from
Thursday until Sunday at the
home Of his sister, Mrs. Andrew
J. Larsen, north Of town. Harry
enlisted some two or three
months ago. and is stationed at
Sioux City, a member of the
Ambulance Corps.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
SPARKS
FROM IGNATIUS

A certain man was fined five
dollars for going to sleep in
church. He chose Monday night
instead of Sunday morning,
however, being drunk his mind
directed him to the chucrh in
stead of to his house which was
only four doors further. We
have often thought if it would
not be a good plan to have pa
trolman visit our churches on
Sunday morning in order to keep
sleeping members of the audience
awake. We have heard of an old
deacon in one of the southern
churches who marched up and
down the aisle, tickling the sleep
ing parishioners under the ear
with the end of rabbit tail fast
ened to the end of a long pole.
We know of preachers who men,
ton the sleeping parishioners by
name. We have also no doubt
heard of the sleeping deacon who
responded "Og med din aand,"
("And with thy spirit when
a rooster flew on the window
sill and crowed while the preach
er was delivering his sermon.
Owing to an altogether unfor-
tunate state of affairs too many
people attend the church from
mere custom or to receive a some
what favorable recommendation
from the community in which
they find themselves. Some
make it a habit of taking a nap
while the sermon is in progress
and no amount of thought or ora
tory could keep them awake. To
say this act is exceedingly ungra-
cious is perhaps superfluous to
say nothing of the insult they Of
fer the preacher and the God he
represents.
Every minister knows what a
refrigerator these people are up
on himself to say nothing of the
cooling influence they have upon
the other members of the au-
dience. No preacher, be who he
may can do his best if his audi
ence contains sleeping parishion-
ers even though some were
sleeping angels. Those who have
addressed audiences know what
an inspiring effect a wide-awake
attentive audience has upon the
speaker. In fact an attentive au-
dience can enliven a preacher
Just as much as an enthusiastic
preacher can enspire an audience.
A sensitive preachers enthusi-
asm is affected by the "atmos-
phere" of the audience. His feel
ings may be compared to q baro-
meter.
Many a church gutter blames
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

The Pine County Fair is going
to be q hummer and you want to
be present for the good things
that are going to be offered. At
Pine City Sept. 27-28-@. adv
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
MINNESOTA EFFICIENT AND
ECONOMICAL
MinnesOta's Work i'm the War on
the Part Of Those Who are
Mt Home and i'm Business.

The great task that confronts
the people of our state during
the war is to gather up the loose
ends and join in a united effort
to eliminate waste and the ex-
penditure of useless energy in
carrying on business in any
line. The great effort has been
in the past of individual firms
to give their particular custo-
mers service" with little re-
gard to the economic waste
where the several firms in a
small or large community dupli-
cate their lines or in the de-
livery to their customers.
The State Commission of Pub
lie Safety has begun exhaustive
Investigations in nearly all lines
that effect closely the economic
problems of all classes. The ef-
fort is made to do full justice to
producer, manufacturer and con-
sumer with the one idea of
elimination of wasteful duplica-
tion and the resultant addition
to the retail price in order to
pay for service"
In nearly every hamlet, vii
lage and city there is an oppor-
tunity for a great saving in de-
livery systems. In many instan-
ces the business men have al
ready caught the idea and CO.
operated in employing one or
two delivery men where hereto
fore there were as many of them
as there were stores in the COM
munity.
The Commission has found
that the wrapping and delivery
of bread forms a large per cent
Of it's cost price to the customer.
In the cities we find a great
waste in the duplication of de-
livery. Five or six milk men
can be counted serving custo-
mers in one block each day.
To eliminate these expensive
systems of which these are but
the example of many, is task
that can be taken up in almost
every community in the state.
In many sections Of the state
there is an over-abundance of
fruit and vegetables. To pro-
vide a market for sections where
they are plentiful and to supply
those that report a scarcity is
also a problem that can be
solved by many communities for
themselves. 1t is also another
line of activity for the State
Commission in an effort to secure
the cooperation of all sections
to secure an equitable distribu-
tion of foodstuffs that are pro-
duced within our state and to
place surplus stocks in storage
for future use.
All of these things involve a
get together movement on any
proposition, large or small, and
it is easily recognized as the
necessary, the patriotic thing to
do if we are to give the best ac-
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20


the church and it's minister for
the awful conditions that exist
at the present time. And some
of the biggest church knockers
we know, are those who enjoy
Sunday morning nap in church.
But sometimes we wonder if it
is not the sleepy, lifeless audi
ences who should shoulder part
of the blame? True enough ma
ny a minister acts as snag on
the congregation; but we know
of cases where the pastor is prac-
tically bound hand and foot by
sluggish congregation. His par
ish retain him only for social
functions, a tea table figurehead.
When he speaks to them about
their spiritual condition he is
getting funny, when he prea-
ches of Jesus Christ instead of
''The Presidents Reply to the
Pope" they decide to demand his
resignation and upraid him, be-
cause the parish does not flourish
the way, it did under Rev. So and
Sos pastorate. We are also full
ly aware of that much of the
lack of power of the churches
can be blamed to the preachers.
They are not what they should
be at times-and we are foolish
enough to believe that they are
conscious of their. shortcomings.
But all in all, we know of no
class of men who are as enthusi-
astic as minister-and who
have to suffer more disappoint-
ments in the reaching of their
goal as a preacher. A preacher
can interest lifeless audience
one Sunday perhaps two, three,
and four. But to keep it up
week after week, year in and
year out, is what makes preach
ers gray before their time and
robs the enthusiasm and ability
to keep the interest from their
sermons. At the same time that
audience to which he breaches
is an inactive, unresponsive one.
Some take nap, some watch the
minute hand of their watches,
some read in a hymn book, others
criticize the dress of this one or
that one and all these wonder
why "our pastor was so dull to-
day." An angel dropped from
heaven could not keep their at
tention.
Let us fine the culprits S. who
sleep in church on Monday
nights. Give them the punish
ment they so richly deserve. The
One to whom the church is dedi-
Gated demands that we be active.
But let us assess triple fines up
on those self-satisfied, unblamea-
BILE culprits who make it a prac-
tice to take "snooze" on Sunday
morning, those who attend for
the sake of being seen in Gods
house on Sunday. Let's quit
growing about the preacher and
give ourselves a few kicks, those
kind of kicks that bring results.
If this does not awaken the
church. open it's eyes. and bet
ter it spiritually then let's fire
the preacher.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

Farmers-There is no easier or
cheaper way of selling stock or
anything else on the farm, than
by using the American Want Col
umn; S cents a line.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20
news AMONG
SCAND|NAV|ANS
Interesting Items From Far
and Near About People
From the North

Professor and Mrs. J. A.
Youngquist in St. Peter, Mimi,
have celebrated their silver
wedding last week. They are
very popular among the Swedes
in that part of Minnesota.
DR.. Knud Hartnack, formerly
editor of the Danish New York
newspaper and later a physician
in Newark, ILL.,, is now a first
lieutenant at Fort Riles, Kans.
DR.. Hartnack's brother was a
colonel in the Danish army.
Einar Hilsen, a Norwegian
publicist, who is writing in the
"Scandia and "Fremad," d.
rected last week a very bitter
attack against Denmark as the
constant oppressor of Norway.
He enjoys some vogue among his
countrymen, and takes advant-
age of his reputation for the
purpose of creating hostility be-
tween the Norwegians and
Danes of this country. Another
form of patriotism.
A factory worker in the Wor-
cester, Mass, plant of the Amer
lean Steel & Wire Company had
his hand pierced by a wire which
was at white heat. 1t was neces-
sary to amputate his arm. Soon
after his recovery, an iron gate
slammed on his foot and now the
young Swede has had to submit
to another operation, his left
leg having been amputated.
At present twenty Danish
ships, some of them steamers
and others motor vessels, are at
present at anchor in the New
York bay. They all carry car
goes which cannot be sent
abroad as long as the present
stringent export regulations are
in force. The fact that the peo-
pie for whom the cargoes are
consigned, may face starvation,
means nothing to those by whose
orders the boats are being held
in New York.
Before adjournment last week
the Norwegian Danish Press AS
sociation which held it's conven-
ton in Fergus Falls, Mimi, de-
cided to eliminate the word
Danish" from it's name, with
some justification, it seems, as
Danish members generally are
conspicuous by their lack of in
terest. The convention also
went on record in favor of
womans' suffrage.
Carl Ahlteen, publisher of a
Swedish paper, Alarm" has
been arrested because of his
suspected affiliation with the So
called l. w. w. organization. The
Minnesota authorities allege that
his paper has been consistently
opposing the military conscrip-
ton of the United States. Ahl-
teen, who is 81 years old, came
to this country only three years
ago.
The oldest family in Mt. Pleas
ant, Utah, is that of Mr.. and
Mrs. John Knudsen, who recent
ly celebrated their diamond we'd
ding. They were married in
Denmark in September, 1857,
and are nearly 80 years old. Mr..
and Mrs. Knudsen have sixteen
grandchildren and twenty-nine
great grandchildren, most of
whom were present at the cele-
bration in commemoration of the
rare event.
Jacob Soerensen, a Norwegian
farmer near Greenville, Mich, is
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-09-20

Report news 70 the American.