davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Patriotic Day for Chautauqua.

Carl q. Turner, assistant manager OF
the Community Chsutauquas, was In
South Paris and Norway last week, and
on Wednesday afternoon met the MEM
bers of the local association at the store
of the E. N. SWEET Shoe Co., to talk over
the present years Cbautauqus. The
principal thing Mr.. Turner had to say
that was new to the members is that In
consideration of the conditions, the first
day of the Chsutauqua is to be made
patriotic day at every place on the cir.
cult. To do this will be natural, as the
speaker of the day is Ex-Governor A. G.
Shallen berger of Nebraska, q member OF
the military affairs committee In con-
press, who always speaks on patriotic
subject. The Mendelssohn Sextette,
which furnishes the musical part Of the
DAYS program, has also arranged some
special patriotic selections, and an en-
deavor will be made to have the decora-
lions and all features Of the day show
the patriotic sentiment Of the commun.
ity.
Mr.. Turner also says that more atten-
ton than ever will be paid to the Junior
Chau tauqua this year, and superintend.
ents of that department will be named
By the local organization, one for each
village, to attend to the matter OF look
ing after the little people to see that
they get out for the benefits which may
be theirs.
Much enthusiasm Is shown by Mr..
Turner regarding the quality of the at
fractions secured for this year. The
dates are July % to Aug. l.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Maine News Notes.

One experience with U.boats does not
appear to scare Capt. stephen McDon-
ough and his first mate, William r.
Lowe of Winterport, who were In the
schooner Lyman NJ. Law, when she was
sunk In the Mediterranean. They have
gone to New York to take a five-master
loading for France. The pay for this
trip will be more than double that OF
peaoe-times voyage.
The appointment of former Governor
William T. Cobb Of Rocklsnd as chair.
man of the Maine committee to cooper
ate with the Federal Shipping Board In
building wooden ships In Maine yards,
has been announced by Governor Mill.
ken. Governor Milliken expects that the
awarding of contracts will be greatly
facilitated by cooperation between the
committee and the board.
While not much stir has been made
about 1t, there has been something of q
rounding.up of Canadians in the north.
ern section of the state, go 1t is learned
from Bangor report, for recruits and
government work In Canada. Canadian
officers have been making trips through
northern Maine towns and appealing to
British subjects to 60 home and "do
their bit" and with good success.
Oscar G. Hadlock, aged % years, son
OF Mr.. and Mrs. William Hadlock OF
North Yarmouth, was killed In an acct
dent at the dry dock of the Philadelphia
navy yard Wednesday night, and seven
Others were seriously injured. The
young man was an electrician on board
of the destroyer Allen which was In the
drydock with two other vessels OF the
naval feet. By giving away Of supports
the destroyer Allen toppled against the
cutter Guthrie of the coast guard service,
causing the bursting of steam pipes.
A letter received by the parents gave no
particulars of the injuries to the young
man, only announcing bis death. BE
graduated from the Yarmouth public
schools and joined the navy four years
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

Among the Democrats mail comes
quite Q voluminous mass OF literature
from the director of cultural summer
school on the Maine coast. he would
be glad to have the Democrat select from
It editorially, as he says "in the light of
what have done for the young people
of Maine" It seems to be matter Of
general public interest. We don't know
what be has done for the young people
Of Maine, but We do know that amid the
maddening maze Of the free advertising
stuff sent ont to tho newspapers by
scores of public and private press
bureaus, this comes pretty near being
what 10 termed "the limit"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Bird.Harrington.

Mr.. Roy ]. Bird of Worcester, Macs,
and Miss Natalie Harrington Of Everett,
Mass, were married at high noon OF Sat
urday, May s, at Everett. Mr.. Bird Is
tbs son of Mr.. and Mrs. Amos A. Bird OF
South Paris, and was reared here. He
Graduated from Paris High School In the
Glass of 1904, and from the University OF
Maine In 1910. he 10 now q chemist
with the American Steel and Wire 70.
at its Worcester plant. The bride is the
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Henry W..
Harrington of Everett, is graduate OF
Everett High School, and has been en-
Gagged as steuogrspher. Mr.. and Mrs.
Bird went directly to furnished hat at
4 Raleigh Road, Worcester, where they
are to make their home. No cards will
be issued.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Born.

In North Woodstock, April 25, to the wife OF
Clarence Farnum, q daughter, Rosie Emma.
In North Woodstock. May 8, to the wife Of
Joseph Thurlow, q daughter.
In Newry, May l, to the wife OF Darwin Sweat.
o son.
In Kezar Falls. May 8, to the wife Of Roland
Stanley, 8 son.
In Andover, May 4, to the wife Of Lawrence
Parsons, son.
In Norway, April 2, to the wife of Anton Menu,
q son, John Niemi.
In Norway, May /, to the wife Of Albert Clyde
Snow, q daughter, Mary Madeline.
In Bethel, May 9. to the wife Of Harry Hutchin-
son, daughter.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
500 Reward, 500

The readers Of this paper WI pe
ons Sreaded disease that science has
been able to cure In all its stages. and
maj ia catarrh. Catarrh being greatly
infiuencSd BY constitutional conditions
reouires constitutional treatment.
Hails Catarrh Cure II taken internally
and acts thru the Blood on the MuceSs
stroyinT the foundation Of the disease.
giving the patient strength By building
up the constitution and essisting na-
ture in doing its work. The proprie-
tors have 90 much faith In the curative
powers Of Halls Catarrh Cure tnas
case that Il fails to cure. Send for Hist
ASdrs.: =. > CHENEY q CO.. Telsla
OLA IA b. 6ll DeuSE1seA ia
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
cLEARAwAY THE WASTE

Bowel regularity 10 the secret OF good
health, bright eyes, clear complexions.
and DR.. Kings New Life Pills are mild
and gentle laxative that regulates the
bowels and relieves the congested mites.
Zines BY removing the accumulated
wastes without gripping. Take . pin be-
fore retiring and Mat heavy head, that
dull spring fever feeling disappears. Get
DR.. Kings New Life Pills 1t your drug
gist, $50.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

Arthur ]. Casey, indicted on the
charge Of murder for the killing Of John
Tracey, . railroad section foreman, was
sentenced to serve not less than six nor
more than Is years at hard labor IN state
prison in the Supreme Court at Calais
Monday. The sentence was given after
Casey had pleaded guilty to manslaugh-
tar and his plea had been accepted.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Ninety Years.

Ninety years 10 long time to live IN
this age Of the world. This distinction
was celebrated on Sunday, the 18th, oy
Mrs. Columbia Muzzy at her residence
ON High Street. The day was remem-
bered by many friends, in tokens OF love
and friendship and by personal vista
ton. The ladies composing Mrs. MO
Whorter's Sunday School class came In
a body TO offer their gifts of love and
their words of cheer. The granddaugh-
tsr Mrs. C. NJ. Hall OF Alden, N. Y, Was
nrasent to add to the pleasure OF the
occasion. Mrs. Muzzy shows remark
shIe yieor in both mind and body for
one 40 old. She desires to express her
thanks for all tokens received.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
An Entertaining COMEDY.

One OF the most entertaining plays
that has been put on here In some time
was mr.. Bob" which was presented a
Grange Hall Wednesday and Thursday
evenings under the auspices of the
Seneca Club. "Mr. Bob is bright,
clean comedy. Itgives you at least four
laughs minute without your feeling
that 1t 10 horseplay that provokes your
risibles, and while It does not stir your
emotions deeply it leaves pleasant
taste In your mouth.
The old plot Of mistaken identify. in
two or three different forms, makes the
basis OF the play. Miss Katherine Rogers
has friend, Miss Marion Bryant, whom
she speaks Of by the nickname "Bob. 4"
Her cousin Philip Roysou supposes the
nickname to be significant, and calls
Katherine's friend "Mr. Bob" Pretty
soon after the action of the play begins,
. young man by the name OF Robert
Brown, clerk In lawyers Office, appears
on simple matter OF business, and be-
ing warned for household reasons that
he must not make his identity known,
he is successively mistaken for several
different people, including the putative
"Mr. Bob" The resulting compiled.
tons furnish the fun.
1t was put on by cast Of local play.
ers who have appeared numerous times,
and whose work is too we'll known to re-
quire much comment. Mrs. HARRIET
Barnes had the role of q maiden lady
with fondness for cats. Harold T.
Briggs, Harry NJ. Shaw, Miss Helen NJ.
Barnes and Miss Lena L. Franck por-
trayed normal young people In their sew
eral parts. Ralph Andrews as Jenkins
the butler, and Miss Eva Andrews az
Patty the maid, had the distinctive char.
acter roles Of the play. All were we'll
presented, and the audience was not
slow in testifying Its appreciation.
Preceding the play, Columbia was
presented in tableau, and q Gypsy drill
was given by eight young ladies, Missss
Muriel Bowke., Louise Powers, Gladys
Doran. Beryl Silver, Marie Newton,
Doris Kerr, Gladys Hatch and Lulu Bill
ings, with Mrs. Agnes Perkins as the
Gypsy queen, and Miss Marion Gray at
the piano. This was fine thing, and
the various evolutions and posings were
given with precision and grace which
won enthusiastic applause, and did great
credit not only to the participants but to
Mrs. Virgie Wilson, who has had the
drill In charge.
Music for the evening was by Shaw's
Orchestra of six pieces, including DR..
Carl S. Briggs, violin; Mrs. Briggs,
piano; II. W. Shaw, clarionet; F. P.
Knapp, cornet; James Mason, trombone;
and George Soper, drums.
Wednesday evenings audience was
not so large as was warranted both by
he quality of the performance and the
iact that the proceeds are to 60 for Red
Cross work, but Thursday evening there
was good house; and the fact that the
grange gave the use of the hall and all
connected with the affair gave their SER
7ices, will increase the net sum realized.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
WORMS HANDICAP YOUR CHILD

Worms drain the strength and vitality
OF children, making them dull and list
less. Their power to resist more serious
diseases is reduced and energy and inter.
est 10 play is lacking. Kickspoo Worm
Killer 10 mildly laxative remedy In can
dy tablet form that children like to take.
It kills aud removes the worms and lets
your child grow strong and healthy like
other children. Don't let your child be
dragged down by worms. Full directions
on the box. At al druggists, 25c.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
LEVI n. THAYER.

Levi M. Thayer died Sunday night at
bis home in Paris, at the age OF 40 years.
he was the SON of the late Alexander 8.
and Ruth (MarstoD) Thayer, and was
born on the old homestead farm mile
and q half east Of Paris Hill, whore bis
home has always been. he was unmar.
ried. The funeral will be held ct the
home Tuesday afternoon at O'Clock, at-
tended by Rev. Chester Gore Miller, and
burial will be in Riverside Cemetery.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Base Ball.

Nsxt Saturday Paris High Schooi
,,evs West Paris High ct West Paris.
PPsr,s High had no game last Saturday,
;.s game with Norway having. been
o,,,ttsd on account Of the CANCELLATION
- ira entire schedule by Norway, -
already announced. THIS u tne nLs'
.sason in some years that these .nereo,'
tsry foes' have not met on the diamonu'
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Card of Thanks.

We wish to extend our heartfelt
thanks to our neighbors and many
friends who assisted US In our great sor-
row, to Mr.. Miller for comforting words,
also for the beautiful floral tributes.
MR. AND MRS. G. d. KIMBALL.
MISS GENEVA YOUNG.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
A ooldeu Anniversary Oft.

A stereopticon lecture under the aus
n,css of the Woman's Missionary Socie'
~. with fifty slides, showing the mis- 10;
s;onary work done In six countries, Will
be given in the vsstry of the Congrega'
tional church, Wednesday evening, May
18th. Everyone invited. No admission
will be charged.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
The Baptist Church.

Next Sunday will be- observed a.
Fathers, sunday. Daughters are re-
nnssted to sit with their fathers.
Nsxt Sunday 10 also anniversary sun
aav and = special collection will be taken
for church expenses. IN
Tuesday, May 22d, the Q. 4. wiz on -,
tertain the East Oxford Local Union Oh
@. E.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Thousand. Of Mother. Worry

When the children cry in their sleep, are -peev
ish and c0nstipated and take cold easily. Moth !
Gray's Sweet Powders for Children, has for 20
years been trusted remedy In many thousand
homes. They frequently break up colds In "A
hours. move and regulate the bowels and de.t,oy
worms 1877
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Recent Deaths.
MRS. SUSAN n. YORK.

Mrs. Susan M, widow Of George d.
York. died at her home on Pearl Street,
South Paris, Saturday night, after long
period of failing health, at the age OF "a
wears. She was the daughter OF Haines
and Nancy Stevens Of Rumford. She
married George d. York, and their
home was at North Woodstock until
thew came to South Paris ten or twelve
years ago. Mr.. York died Dec. %, 1915.
She leaves one daughter, Mrs. Horatio
Farnum, who lives at the home at South
Paris. The funeral at the house at
O'Clock Tuesday afternoon will be at.
tended by Rev. Chester Gore Miller, and
the remains will be taken to Bryant'i
Pond for burial.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

No war prices to you on our summer
underwear. Read our al Id th,s paper
II will pay you.-F. q. Noyes 70.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

A lazy liver leads 10 chronic dyspepsia and
constipstion-weakens the whole system. Doan's
Regulets Go per box) act mildly on the liver
and bowels II I'll drug stores.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

For baby's Group, willie's daily cuts and
bruises, Mammals sore throat, Grandma's lame.
ness-Dr Thomas Eclectic Oil-the household
remedy, 90 and 6oc.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Married..

In Everett, Mass, May 5, Mr.. Roy J. Bird OF
Worcester, Mass, and Miss Natalie Harrington
of Everett.
In Springfield, Mass. May 8, Mr.. Henry z.
Howe and Miss Ethel Allen, both OF Springfield.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

The South Paris post oface will here
Alter be closed ct Z O'Clock z. II.
ia. KINNEY, Postmaster.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

To tel strong, have good appetite and digee.
ton, sleep Soundly and enjoy lie, use Burdock
Blood Bittsrs, the family system tonic. Price,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Died..

In South Paris, May IL, Mrs. Susan n. York,
widow Of George n: York, aged IS years. , 40
years.
In West Paris, May II. Mrs. Addie, wife Of w.
8. Jackson, aged about "a years.
in Dixfeld, May 8, Fred Taylor OF Bethel, aged
56 years.
In East Sumner. May Q. Mrs. Meriah, wife Of
George Goss, aged 81 years.
In Newry, May 8, Fred Tyler: aged 81 years
In Fryeburg, April 80, John Goldthwait.
In West Paris, May 8, Levi Shedd. aged "a
years.
In Bethel, May 8. Robert e. L. Farwell, aged
n years.
In North Hartford, May 4, Mrs. Julia F. Thorn,
widow of Barnet Thorn, aged IS years.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
Now Hold Your Breath and Read
WHAT THE TAX RATE 1s GOING TO BIZ
IN PARIS THIS YEAR.

When the annual town meeting ad-
iourned on the 5th of March, the Demo-
crat forecssted q tax rate of 27.6 mills
this year, assuming that the state and
county taxes remained the same. That
was the worst estimate We have made
since we began estimating. The exigen-
cies of war made an increase OF mill In
the state tax unavoidable, and an in
crease of ten thousand dollars in the
county budget gave Paris about thou
sand dollars more to pay.
Therefore the tax rate, instead OF 27.6
mills, will be 2SS mills In the town OF
Paris, the highest rate In the present
generation, by several mills.
Statistics of the valuation, as now
completed by the assessors, are as fol-
lows:
onNresident real estate .... s9,096.OO
Total real estate. $l,2ls, So6. 90
Personal estate, resident. $s44, 585 90
Personal estate, non.
resident, i4'i"w oro o.x M
Total valuation. ......s l.S77.seo %
6osn IN vaimation 1885 90
Exempt live stock In valuation ---.. !6,S40OO
Smonpt 10 be Assessed ............. &s,O00.47
Tar rate % 8 mills
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
SAMUEL RICHARDS,
oPT0METRIsT,
South Paris, Maine
Perennials for Sale.

Coreopsis, ColumbIne, Foxglove.
Canterbury Bells, Hollyhocks, Peoples
and Pansiss. These are getting we'll
started and will do better II soon trans
planted. '
so.n W. A. PORTER.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

Howard Atkinson committed suicide
at Saco, on account OF Ill health anu
financial troubles. he leaves . son.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

Wa ak for your Cleaning, r6PaFIng 30
dvsino. and pressing work. Come In
"a so ma about TT. Fl. Noyes 70.
nON,T LET YOUR COUGH HANG ON
A cough that racks and weakens 10
dangerous, It undermines your nes =. o ama
thrives on neglect. Relieve IL ." T"ve
With DR.. Kings New Discovery. Lo,.
soothing balsam remedy heals the Inros''
loosens the phlegm, tt antiseptic proper
ties kin the germ and the cold Is QUERY
broken up. Children and grown'ups sm.e .
fiud DR.. Kings New Discovery pleasant
In take a we'll - effective. have
bottle handy In your medicine chest Ior
grippe, Group and oil bronchial ahections'
At druggists, 500.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

rschi ftchi ltchi-ecratchi ecratchi ecraecnl
Ths more Won scratch. the wore tho IN. ,tv
Dosn's Ointmsnt. For cessna any skm 'sO1-
mg. 10 box FtH
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15
FOR SALE.

A driving horse, good to work.
Also riding wagon. Inquire of
P. S. MASON,
R. F. D. ., South Paris, Me.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

Mems "Piuch Back" Suits In blues
and colors, Sl2, e13, GA, S1S, S16. Latest
style. Good valuea.-F. n. Noyes TO-
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

NAPoiSo stIuCk tOWu OosuAeey,
travelling in style as in recent years, with
Two Dig automobiles, bearing Pennsyi-
sania license plates. The women in the
usultlonal bright hued and soiled gar
Ie9's, piled their usual fortune telling
"aue 70 slight extent, but with little
success. Where these tourists get their
IUney IS puzzle to some OF rs, for they
Si not, neither do they spin, and yet
solomon in all bis glory never rode in IN
au'omooile. Slight repairs to their cars
were made here, the ''old man" seeming
" De well supplied with funds, and the
party moved on after q stay of half or
saree quarters of an hour, saying they
we're going to Portland.
sunday evening a union temperance
meeting Of the several churches was
ue1 10 the Bsptis, church, which was
sh nlled. The pastors of all the
.uutches participated in the opening
services, and the singing was by the
erls choir of the Universalist church,
n, Ih Mrs. Agnes L. Morton at the orSap.
ne speaker Of the evening was Rev.
larry Adams Hersey, who 10 superin-
VI ompctauCc WOEA uuuoA 49,.
auspices OF the General Convention oil
oa'Ssrsalist Sunday Schools. Mr.. Her
10y spoke on the topic of our next great
"' The war against John Bsrleycorn
ssio, has progressed 80 far thai
suSugn lighting is still necessary, the
s su Is 10 sight. Our next great war ID
use the growing menace of tobacco,
enu us wOrst form fha ciUaraffa The
speaker quoted extensively from The
aoports of scientific and medical investi
e,,suons, life insurance companies, ant
.ues sources, to show that tobacc<
iays does harm, and especially In 10.
'm Oh the cigarette, the use Of whicl
increasing so rapidly, and which
su.eatens to impair the usefulness OF on
yTYans boys and even our girls. Mr.
,,'ey y an earnest speaker, and full o
U bic purpose.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1917-05-15

The principal points of the require
ments for improved grading, emitting
some of the technical details, are as fol.
lows:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1917-05-18
Window Box Gardens.

Now that potatoes are scarce every
bit of available space is being used in
growing them. Already the women
of the nation have worked out a
scheme of growing seed potatoes in
window boxes, thereby adding sew
eral dollars to the family income.
When the housewife prepares her POI
tatoes for the evening meal she cuts
piece from the rose" end of the
potato off before peeling and plants it
In the sitting room window box. which
contains either leaf mold, coconut fiber
or sand Each piece, says one potato
planter, should weigh not less than
one and a half ounces, and the box
should be kept in the window Of a
cool-but not too cool--rOom until the
sprouts are from one-half TO an inch
high. Thus the housewife has sup
ply of seed potatoes, which are daily
increasing in value.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1917-05-18
END HEARINGS ON TAX BILL
Delegations From Chicago and New
York Protest Against Features
of Measure.

Washington, May 16.-Public hear
ings on the war revenue bin before
the senate finance committee were
concluded with statements by the last
of more than 100 representatives of
industries heard since Friday in pro-
test against heavy taxes proposed in
the measure.
Nearly all the witnesses agreed that
they were willing to assist the govern
ment in every way possible, even to
surrendering their entire profits, but
they objected TO the rates in the bill
as cOnfiscatory and ruinous.
The last sessions were devoted
largely to further hearing of the pro-
tests of newspaper and periodical pub
fishers against the proposed increases
in second-class mail rates and the tax
on print paper.
A delegation of Chicago and New
York business men told the commit
tee that the amount proposed to be
raised by the revenue bill was ex-
cessive and that it would impose too
great a burden upon this generation.
Many of the publishers produced
records of their books before the COM
mittee to show that they were in no
financial condition to meet the pro-
posed taxation. and declared that if
the measure was allowed to stand
many publications throughout the
country would have to suspend.
Chairman Simmons did not indicate
when the committee will report, but
1t probably will be ready very shortly
after the house passes the bill the
last of this week.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1917-05-18
Twisted Sox.

81 suppose you have heard" said the
fat plumber, that stockings should be
selected to match the eyes of the
wearer?"
mo; I'm not up on styles" the thir
carpenter confessed.
Yep. That's the way it goes
awright."
Fashions do beat ALL"
yep"
Imagine going into a store and ask.
ing for some blue stockings to match
your wife's eyes"
Yes, or trying to pick out a shade
to match some guy with pink eyes"
"Or buying half pair of stockings
for a one-eyed man."
COR watered silk for man with 9
cataract"
"Or black and blue ones for a ginb
who has been in fight"
Il can think of a situation that beats
any we have suggested"
What is it?7
Think of going into a store and ask
ing for a pair Of twisted SOY for 6
cross-eyed person"
''You win !"