The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-11-04
MRS. SOY OMtN
By Helen Rowland

GostO the Optimist, thou Grumbler:
consider his ways and be still. For.
verify, verify. this world is not ALI.
wuc ana war and dyspepsia and DESC
lation.
Lo, there Is a land--a land Of de-
light, wherein there is no poverty, n,n
pain, nor dressing for dinner, nor next
morning headaches.
younger than youth, and more slender
than sylphs. and more beautiful than
| hours.
Wherein all the men are Samsons and
Adonses and Beah Brummcls.
| Wherein all the complcNions are OF
roses and cream. and all the teeth arc
as rows of young corn, and all the lips
are laughing.
Wherein the bread never falletll, and
the piccrust is always lighter than air.
and the mullins are never burned, and
the sauces never weary the palate but
arc continual source Of delight
Where the ladies never wear curling
kids or sleep with their little mouths
open. but lie gracefully in flowing hair
and frilly bondoir caps. smiling raDtur-
ously in their slumbcr at the thought af
the invisible cold cream upon their
pretty noses.
/ Where the cooks all wear afternoon
calling gowns and lace APRONS. and
serve the dinner with bcaming and bc-
nisnant smiles.
Where socks and stockings Wear for
ever and never REQUIRE darning and
collars never choke nor wrinkle, and
| shirt bosoms never ridc-up. and pots
and pans polish themselves. and tires
arc never punc;urcd. and little boys
never get dirty faces.
i Wherein the Perfect Wife. III II white
lace frock. with a marched coiffurc
and Pink manicurcd fingers. standcth
in French heelcd dancing pumps over Il
hot cookstove. SMILING radan,ly and
joyfuliy at the thought OF having to
get dinner on the maids day out.
Wherein the simple damscl ycarneth
not after orchids and bonbons and
| champagne. but appearcth DEE-l.htcd
l beyond measure when the adorng
youth bringeth her a package Of chew
ing gum for Christmas.
Wherein the meals are never late and
the husbands are always on time ana
growl not. but appear astonishcd ana
filled with delight at the plate Of break
fast food wherewith they are RECALLED
In wartime
Wherein bankers and colonels and
| million3ircs roll their own cigarettes,
md ladies in tiaras and diamond dog
collars dine gloriously upon plate Of
canned soup.
Wherein garden seeds always come
ur. and lawns never have to be rakcd
Or moved. and suburban cottages are
always covered with roses. and every
woman wearcth real lace linseries, and
The powder always sticketh to the nose.
and housewives do all their wor! in
evening dresses and with smiling faces,
and q drop Of the right perfume or a
lash of the right powder will make
/ ANY man fan in love With a aamsel at
II sight.
And dost thou ask, "Wherc Is this
and Of strange anomalies, and eternal
youth. aud unfolding beauty, and
= transccndcnt harpinoss?"
n Verify. verify. it Is. in the Imagtna
n zion of tn. Advertising Illustrator who
20 lwellctll in Il world all his OWN.
is And | say unto thee. IS it astonish-
/ ng that any bachelor who hath ridden
II IN the street cars and studied the backs
If the magazines all the DAYS of his
81 youth should find married life q srea,
II | SHOCK"
II For hath he not been drawn into Il
Is ny these false signs. yea, even by these
> pictures of Perfect GnntentEaent like
II unto which there Is nothing under ths
lt sun"
Selah.
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