The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-10-11

r The fact that a man has not large
e ears is not conclusive proof that they
n would not fit him.
e The implication by Count Bern
E storff that congress could be bought
e for $4,000 is perfectly insulting.
The time of the year is at hand
when we should all try to remember
that four times out of five the teacher
is right.
Enough blue plums we're put up
last week to keep the whole town in
b-b-b--stomach ache throughout
the winter.
The difference between the stage
farmer and the real farmer is that
the stage farmer seldom wears chin
whiskers and boots.
4 & 4
A man from Oregon named Goosey
has enlisted. If some one pokes him
he probably will kill thousand Ger
mans before he stops.
4 & Z
Old Bill Misgivens says the differ
ence between a horse doctor and
veterinary surgeon is that veterin- ,
airy surgeon changes his linen and
takes bath at regular intervals.
4 z &
One farmer says he would rather
sell his wheat to the government at
So bushel and have it remain there
than to sell it for So and then for it
to go to So after the Spectator got it.
4 & q
Every man and every woman should
get away from home every so often,
meet other people, see other places
and get different viewpoint. Home
never looks so fine as it does when
you have been somewhere else.
z Z Z
Autumn ISIS here and summer ISIS vent,
Winter is Gaming and moneys all spent
Wake in der morning all cold and
shakey,
Ofercoat hung up nit key and Jakey,
Saddest uf words in all history's pages
'Vat did | done NIT my last summers
wages"
The poets may sing of the odors of
spring, in sonnet and rondeau and
triolet,
Of perfumes so rare on the soft sigh
ing air, the odors of rose and of
violet,
8ut-geeminy-gee!-far sweeter to
me come the scents that the au-
tumn times brewing,
The smell of sweet pickles, which
tempts and it tickles, and mince-
meat a-simmering, stewing.
4 = 4
We seize the newest word with :
vidity. 1t is "hypermorons." 1t is
he polite phrase for "d-foop and r
will be invaluable in print shop /
nd at ball game when some one =
ulls a boner. The editor has often
cen at loss fittingly to express his :.
pinions because of certain preju- =,
ice against one of the strongest and =
most useful words in the English
anguage.
Old Bill Misgivens says he was pass u
ny Jeb Hodkins' house the other day d
nd Jeb called me in. 81 want to x
how you the piece of meat | paid o
cents for" he said. "You ought ~
} write something about it." The W
leat did look kinder small, but when u
heard Jeb boasting that he had got
vice as much for his hay and wheat -,
nd corn as he ever got before,
)uldn't see where he had any kick ~
,ming. D'
dc
Remember: When you used to pull ca
our boiled shirt over your head? he
And hooked your bow tie at the III
ack of your celluloid collar? tn
And went out buggy riding on Sun co
ny afternoon? tl'
And bought three pounds of pork sh
n a quarter?
And wore a fancy vest with nearly IN
'ery color of the rainbow? IL
And remarked to the boys, "Well, mi
haiti you have? DO
And twisted knots in your socks he
keep them up? ta
q 4 4 j.
In spite of all the talk of peace, our sp
operations will not cease, because en-
calls for something more than talk els
stop this cussed war. It's no doubt oil
ue that Kaiser Bill is feeling tired, to-
re and ill. He knows that he's ex
gun to slip and fears he'll lose his an