The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1917-12-21
Exchanged

(tXchange.b
A satire on Kaiser Wilhelm writ
ten by Louis Syberarop of Creston,
Iowa, has won the Iowa man much
comment during recent weeks. He
has received from Joseph Tumulty,
secretary to the president, Secretary
Daniels and Colonel Roosevelt re-
quests for copies of the article, which
is in form Of letter from his satanic
majesty to the German emperor The
letter follows.
"0ttumwa, Iowf.
THE Internal Region.
June q, 1917.
"To Wilhelm Won Hohenzollern, King
of Prussia, Emperor of all Germany
and Envoy Extraordinary of AL
mighty God.
my Dear William: | can call you
by that familiar name for ! have al
ways been very close to you-much
closer than you could ever know.
From the time that you We're yet
an undeveloped being IN your mothers
womb have / shaped your destiny for
my purpose.
in the days of Rome | created a
roughneck known in history as Nero.
He was a vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time. In
these modern days a classic demon and
efficient supernatural was needed,
and as | know the Hohenzollern blood
| picked you as my special instrument
to place on earth an annex of hell. |
gave you abnormal ambition, likewise
an over supply Of egotism that you
| twisted your mind to that of q mad
man with certain normal tendencies
to carry you by, most dangerous
character placed in power; gave you
the power of hypnotist and a certain
magnetic force that you might sway
your people | am responsible for the
deformed arm that hangs helpless on
your left, for Your crippled condition
embitters your life and destroys all
noble empulses that might otherwise
cause me anxiety, but your strong
sword arm is driven by your ambi
ton that squelches ali sentiment and
pity; placed in your soul a deep
hatred for al things English. for of
all nations on earth ! hate England
most. wherever England plants her
flag she brings order cut of chaos and
the hated cross follows the Union
Jack; under her rule wild tribes be-
come tillers of the soil and IN due
time practical citizens; she is the
great civilizer Of the globe and
HATE HER. planted in your soul
a cruel hatred for Your mother be-
cause SHE was English and left my
good friend Bismarck 70 fan the flame
| had kindled. Recent history proves
how we'll our work was done ! broke
your royal mothers heart, but gain
ed my purpose.
The inherited disease Of the
Hohenzollerns killed your father,
just as it will XII you, and you be
came the ruler Of Germany and a
tool of mine sooner than expect
ed
"To assist you and farther hasten
my work | sent you three evil spirits,
Nietzsche, Tritscnke and later Bern
hardi, whose teachings inflamed the
youths of Germany, who in good time
would be willing and loyal subjects
and eager to spill their blood and pull
your chestnuts, yours and mine; the
spell has been perfect-you cast your
ambitious eyes toward the Meaiter-
ranean. Egypt. India and the Dard
anelles and YOU began Your great rail
way to Bagdad, but the ambitious
archduke and his more ambitious wife
stood in your way Il was then that
| sowed the seed in your heart that
blossomed into the assassination of
the duke and his wife, and all hell
smiled when il saw how cleverly You
saGdled the crime on to Serbia. /
saw you set sails for the fjords of
Norway, and / knew you would prove
an alibi. How cleverlv done, so much
like your noble grandfather who also
secured an assassin to remove old
King Frederick Of Denmark, and lat
er robbed that country Of two pro-
vinces that gave Germany an oppor-