The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1917-05-02
FARMER SMITHS
BITTER LESSON
Christmas Mail Order Ship
ment Proves Nightmare.
BARGAINS" ARE A DELUSION
After Unpaekina Goods. Quickly Coos
to Home Town Store, Sees What He
Buys and Makes Vow Never Again
to Pstronize Catalogue House-No
More Wonder Book Stuff.


Buys and Makes Vow Never Again
to Patronize Catalogue House-No
More Wonder Book Stuff.
Copyrighted. 1914. by Thomas ]. Sullivan.
Experience is the name men give
the successive disenchantment Of the
things of life.
1t is reason enriched by the spoils of
the heart. At least that Is Smiths in
depreciation of experience.
Disagreeable Brand of Wetness.
One December it happened that TIE
weather man seemed to conspire with
the mail order man. He turned out a
disagreeable brand of wetness that fill
ed the farmers with distaste for the
open road" that David Grayson SO
enthusiastically praises In all seasons.
But all farmers are not optimistic.
ike David
Farmer Smith liked the comfort of
his sheltered home. So be naturally
was attracted by an invitation from
the mail order house to sit down in
an easy chair beforeahe fire and select
bis Christmas supplies from the pages
of a wonder book left at his front gate
by the R. f. d. man
Wonder Book Solves Problem.
The idea seemed mighty attractive
and comforta BILE. He thought he might
as well experiment once anyway.
So he and his wife had a nice time
filling out the yellow order slip accord
ing to their needs and revenue.
Then they sent it on it's way to the
firm which promised them thrilling bar
gains In all lines of merchandise from
pins to palaces.
The Smiths had made one trip to
town. The day had been characterized
by haste, hunger and worry. They
hadn't had time to buy what they
wanted
So the catalogue seemed to solve the
problem for them. 1t seemed as II II
were going to save them lots of time,
energy, money and brain flag.
Shipment Arrives.
1t was q beautiful pre-Christmas
dream made up in four measures OF
comfort, confidence, curiosity and hope
The awakening came afterward. like,
wise the disillusionment-
Their shipment arrived two days be
fore Christmas. This was very reaS
surfing. But it necessitated a special
drive of nine miles to the nearest ex
press Office.
The G. o. d. express charges were
unexpectedly high. The first intima
ton of a mistake came with the real
ization that the express charges ex
ceeded the difference in price between
home store and catalogue house arti
cles.
Traffic had been congested and the
passage rough. Damage was visible
Smith hoJed it wasn't serious. but be
took bis stuff home with unpleasant
forebodings, and that night when the
family was asleep be and his wife
opened the package in the kitchen
Caused Smith to Swear.
There was q lot of excelsior to I'M
pack. but when the work was done and
the contents stood revealed there was 8
verbal fireworks display on the part OF
Smith. who forgot for the moment that
he was q deacon in the church. and
Mrs. Smiths tears were bitter.
The parior lamp was a scream. Its
Establishments were livid enough tC
light colored Baptist church without
the aid of acetylene.
The handcraft Battenberg looked as
II 1t had been made on sweatshoI
machine intended for overalls The
guaranteed pure wool overcoat asSur
ed them at glance how thoroughly
they had been tleeced.
Passing up the balance of the al
legged bargains" the baby's stocking
was the piece de. resistance OF their