davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

Why is it that a mans idea of good time is doing something that he can't afford to do?
 Statistics claim that only five in 100 mar ragesa are happy. And every married man in town wonders where in Sam Hill the lucky five are concealing themselves The old-fashioned hen that used to lay 16-cent eggs now has a daughter who manufactures nothing but the 60-cent kind.
 A political argument may lose a friend but it never makes vote. When a man gets old enough to know better he is usually too old to do better Trying to demonstrate your red blood will get you a lot more in this world than
 will trying to demonstrate your blue blood.
 l Anyway, the high cost of living has kind of kicked the ambition out of tht
 man who used to try to run two flats or
 one salary.
 There are a number of different sell
 starters for automobiles. But the tele- graph pole by the roadside continues tt
 act as the most effective self stopper. Any princess would rather be seen or
 the street with a man who has wooder
 head than be seen with one who has 6
 wooden leg.
 You can sting smart man once, ane
 sting him hard. But after that he never sits down without feeling under tn, lounge to see if there is a dictagrapf there.
 1 You can't blame woman for being dis Itant when her husband is too close.
 when . man blows in s over the bar Inc pays no attention to 1t because it Ii !only $. But if he loses S5 out of nj
 pocket it looks as biz as $500 to him.
 Most of us enlightened Americans re lgard the Chinese as poor, dumb down ltrodden heather. Maybe they are. Bu lthey had sense enough to nx things s haven't changed in more than a thousand Iyears
 Any time a 12-year-old boy won't ca lcake and 16-year-old girl wont ca i. pickles, better call in the doctor there
 something wrong.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
MORE ARTISTIC


 q remember the time when a favorite prohibition cartoon was a whisky juga with serpent crawling out of it's 2 mouth." T must say that like the new conrd- nation better" said the cabaret patron. And what is that?" "A picture of chorus beauty emerging from glass of champagne"
 AN EYE TO BUSINESS 'I've noticed one thing about these oriental mystics who tour the country from time to time" ''wen?"
 They can always emerge from their oriental mysticism long enough to count up the box office receipts"
 sPoLING HIS CHANGES "what are you reading there?' "Oh, just a book of epigrams I'm going to dinner party tonight and I want to scintillate." "Ah. nei' why do you sigh?' What this world needs is more good listeners and here you are deliberately trying to unfit yourself for acting in that capacity"
 NOT BY REQUEST "so you were chased two blocks by q footpad?"
 ''Yes, and escaped" T presume you would call that giving him run for your moneyr'' 'No. He gave me the run. It was unsolicited. I assure you"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
Crusadiuag Against
 My Lady NicoGine

X PERSISTENT and well-Organ- A ized campaign against the use of tobacco, particularly in cigarette form, is being carried on in this coun- try. So far it has not made itself felt to any marked extent, but the forces of unbridled reform are at work. The newspapers reflect from time to time the activities of these persons and oc- casionally they succeed in getting a law put on the statute books.
 The only sensible law of the kind that could be passed would be one prohibiting the sale of cigarettes, or tobacco in any other form, to minors. Medical authorities and public opin- ion both uphold a statute which pre- vents boys and girls from buying cigarettes. As matter of fact, it is seldom effective, but it at least makes dealers more careful. The use of to- bacco is generally believed to be harmful to juveniles, but judging from the attitude of rampant reform CTS, tobacco is stout co-worker with John Barleycorn in blighting humani- ty, and the person who smokes a cigarette is on the road to perdition It is only question of time, they de clars, until his mind and his morals will be gone.
 When the late Carrie Nation was ir her prime she would not hesitate tt snatch cigarette from the lips of smoker and give him lecture on ths spot, but the average reformer lacks Carrie Nations courage. Besides, he doesn't cars to waste his time and tslsnts on individual cases. He wants
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
Source of Satisfaction
 To "Pancho'' Villa

NNTHEN General Pershing's "pun-
 w itive" expedition was sent into Mexico, the order was, Get Villa" The bandit leader is still en- toying life, liberty and the pursuit of Carranzistas, which constitutes just now his chief form of happiness. The troops under General Pershing are marching back to American territory, we are told, without hitch."
 During the time spent on Mexican soil, United States soldiers have ap- parently accomplished little in a direct way, but they have had salu- tary effect on the exuberance of Villa and have given feeling of security to Americans living along the border. The expedition long since lost it's punitive character and became merely a safeguard against further depre- dations on American territory by Villa and his leaders.
 Doubtless, the withdrawal of the Americans is watched by Villa with keen satisfaction. It means that he will be permitted to work his will and he is already making plans to seize that part of northern Mexico which the presence of United States troops has kept out of his clutches. Given anything like an even chance, Villa will shortly be once more the domi- nant figure in Mexico. He has lately shown a disposition to mend his ways and conduct what we call, paradoxi- cally enough, "civilized warfare" It is said that he even has hopes of being able to get into the good graces of the American government again.
 However, as long as they keep with in bounds the United States will let the Mexicans severely alone. For the present, at any rate, Mexico is hope less case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
Apostrophe to "The Rooshfansw

''Of all the clever things that have beer
 Brown Parks yesterday, "a little poen
 entitled The Rooshians tan apostroph
 to those bally bounders) by George S
 Chappell is the best. It is so unique am
 original that it is submitted for thos
 who enjoy such effusions: 70! the Russians, the Russians!
 Their rhythmic percussions; Their Owski and Inskis, Their nymphs and Nijinskis, Their Kowskis and Lovas, Their spry Lopokovas. With their names so like sneezes, Their bare feet and kneesSs Such twirling and swirling And curling and whirling And skipping and tripping
 And dipping and tipping;
 Fairy-tale. airy-tale, Wild do-and-darey-tale, Lady like, shady-like, Never old-maidy-like. Oh! what glory They add to a story When-bing! There's a ring! Our half-suppressed huns, Are drowned by the drums, For 'tis Anna! Hozannah! An! what agility, Dresden fragility! What display of expressive ability For her magical toes. And appropriate pose, Can disclose, goodness knows, The swoon of a swan, Or the bloom of rose! Till brokers and bankers. The gentlemen rankers, The dubs, from the clubs, The wifies and hubs. The dudes and debutantes Matrons and maiden-aunts Rise up in unison. Singing her benison, Pleased with her pirouettes, Praising her pepper Blessing the steps-from the Steppes- And the stopper"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30

BEGINNING THE DAY-May all the voices of earth and air say' Come, to my soul. May all the voices that sound in my ears and all that sleep in nay memory, say, Come. May the voices that I hear and the voices that I feel all say, Come. May the universe invite me. May I feel that | am welcome in it, and part of Gods banquet of love. In Christs name. Amen.--H. M, E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
HE ADvERTIsEs HIMSELF

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Frank Willis Barnett and Paul Cook collaborated in giving the esteemed skunk write-up in Saturdays Age-Herald, but the skunk doesn't need the publicity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
Jeffersom's s NoHn1c
 On the Market

M1 ONTICELLO, near Charlottes- SV0 vile, Va., the beautiful home of Thomas Jefferson, owned and partly occupied by ex-Congressman J. M. Levy of New York city, is for sale and has been for several years past, although not publicly exploited in the real estate world.
 MT. Levy bought it many years ago and expended several thousand dol lars on it in needed repairs. He has kept it in fine condition and has been hospitable in receiving democratic pilgrims and other visitors to the shrine of the father of American democracy.
 But a great historic estate like Monticello should not be maintained as private property. MT. Levy had in mind from the start a sale to Uncle Sam. It is said that the present owner has standing offer of $1, 100000 for Monticello from a business firm, but being a patriot he offers it to the United States government for half that price. But even $500,00O seems high. If MT. Levy were to name $250,- 900 or $300,000 as his price, Congress would no doubt readily accept his of fer.
 When MT. Jefferson was alive Monticello was one of the largest landed estates in Virginia, yet even in his day many hundreds of acres were sold off in order to replenish the il- lustrious commoner's exchequer. The place includes 1000 acres or a little more.
 Lands in Virginia are bringing good prices now and 1000 acres would cer- tainly be worth $1O0,OO0. The stately mansion and barns on the 'little mountain are worth about $50,000. Add $150,000 for sentiment and MT. Levy might be willing to trade on a basis of $3OO,OOO.
 Several members of Congress are visiting Monticello this week with a view of considering it's value.
 The government should eventually own this sentimental treasure, but would not MT. Levy's price, $500, 1000, be bit too high?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

,as
 A CASH VALUE
 The smiles observed
 Upon the screen
 In real life
 Are seldom seen.
 And though they are
 Bewitching quite.
 And winsome, too,
 And wondrous bright,
 The reason why's
 Not far to seek;
 They're paid for at
 So much per week.
 BREACH OF NEUTRALITY 'The last time I talked to you about the war you were strictly neutral" 50 I was," replied the man in public life. But, aren't you still neutral?'' I'm afraid not. You see, the wife started to raising funds for Belgian babies and I've had to write several speeches for her, giving the Germans Hail Columbia" 7"
 ALL OFF Were you ever shaved by lady bar ber?' "Once." How did you enjoy the experience?' Mot very much" "She damaged your face, then?' Not at all. She was a rather pretty woman, but just about the time I had settled back in her chair and was begin ming to feel romantic she started to tell me how hard she worked to support her six fatherless children"
 WORK TO DO Thrice welcome to the genial sun, Whose face has long been hid. Perhaps he'll dry the slipp'ry streets, So auto cars won't skid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
Improved Machinery
 For School Work

SdE lSlo report or William r.
 J Feagin, superintendent of edu- cation, submitted to Governor Hen derson and published in pamphlet form for the information of the peo- pie of Alabama, is of exceptional in- terest. It is not only full of informa- tion bearing on the school situation but it is enlivened with timely obser- vations and constructive suggestions. Like all of Superintendent Feagin's documents, it is state paper well worth while.
 Alabama has not progressed very far, in the opinion of educational ex- perts," says MT. Feagin, "but she now has new and improved machinery and is ready for the greatest forward movement in her history" The su- perintendent then proceeds to urge a distinct step in practical betterment that should commend itself to all friends of education among law makers. "In order to guarantee an un- interrupted programme of progress, legal provision should be made for a state board of education clothed with all necessary duties and powers to manage the schools without the dan gers incident to political issues and prejudices," says the superintendent. "Given a state board of suitable size and with the terms of minority of the members expiring at regular in- tervals, continuous policy could be initiated and followed, which would in the near future place Alabama in an enviable position in the sisterhood of states. It is needless to say that among other duties of the state board of education should be the appoint ment of the state superintendent of education"
 MT. Feagin expresses qualification over the fact that public sentiment is
 awakening to the needs of the schools
 as never before.
 i The school population of Alabama, according to the state census of 1916, was 8O,366, of which 444,060 were whites and 15S,6 ,621 were negroes. The enrolment in the various departments
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30

Men, at some times, are masters oi their fates, Julius Caesar.
 < <.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30
WORK TO DO

WORK TO DO Thrice welcome to the genial sun, Whose face has long been hid. Perhaps he'll dry the slipp'ry streets. So auto cars won't skid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-30

TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connecting all departments) Main 490o.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
RICHMOND CLUB
DEFEATS BRUNSWICK

Richmond, Me, Jan. 3.-(SpeciaD. Rich
mond A club won their fourth game o.
the season Tuesday from the fast Bruins
wick A club by the score of 80 to IS. s.
Onge Of Richmond got 10 goals from the
floor: Leonard for Brunswick played
good game. The score:
RICHMOND A c BRUNSWICK a 7
A. G. Terrill. ................l b, Brtes
A. l.. Terrill, l T ...........r b. Fortne!
81 CIlse, L .....-...........c, 'IaNNI
Ii. Cutting, b ................d T, Leonai-
L. Gardiner b ................r, f, Shire!
Score, Richmond 80, Brunswick 49,
Goals from fioor-A. G. Terrill !, A. l.
Terrill 3, ST. Onge 10, Cutting 5. Gardner
Leonard 5, Shirley 2. Goals from fouls
A. c. Terrill /. Shirley 2, Fortney
Referee. Turner. Scorer. Card. Umpil.
Fontin. Timer Young. Time, 15-A Az
tendance 500.
eSnN ~ ARlRl1H M
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
HIGH HEELS PUT
C0RNS ON TOES
Tells women how to dry up
corn so it lifts out
without pain.

Modern high heeled footwear buck
les the toes and produces corns, and
many of the thousands of hospital
cases Of infection and lockjaw are The
result of woman's suicidal habit OIL
trying to cut away these painful pests
For little cost there can be obtained
at any pharmacy quarter Of an ounce
of a drug called freezone, which Is
sufficient to rid ones feet of every
hard or soft corn or callus without the
slightest danger or inconvenience.
A few drops applied directly upon
the tender. aching corn stops the sore
ness and shortly the entire corn, root
and ALL lifts right out. 1t Is a sticky
substance, which dries the moment Il
is applied, and thousands of men and
women use it because the corn shrivels
up and comes out without infiaming
or even irritating the surrounding It's
sue or skin. Cut this out and try II II
your corns bother you.-Ady
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
WEBER POND
Christmas Club Has Enjoyable
Event-Clarence E. Rowe Is
Elected President of Vassal-
boro and China Milkmen's AS
ISOLATION

The members Of the Christmas Club
en1oyed the afternoon Wednesday with
Mrs, e. E. Dow and daughter. Helen.
Nuts and delicious homemade candies
were served. The next meeting Will be
with the president, Mrs. Charlotte
Rowe, Jan. 10 at 100 P. NJ.
Miss Lenora Hussey returned to Bos-
ton Thursday after passing the hoI-
day with her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Q.
J. Hussey.
Mrs. Kate r. Stilson is the guest Of
Miss Hannah Alden.
Mr.. and Mrs. Edward Cunning of
Augusta were Friday guests of Mr.. and
Mrs. A. 0. Humes.
Mrs. Lydia Newell has closed her
house and gone to Winslow to pass the
winter with her son, H. S. Newell.
George Crosby of Fairfield was at his
cottage at the campground Sunday.
Master Kenneth Rowe. who has been
at Augusta hospital for surgical treat
ment. returned to his home Friday.
Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Strong of Rich
mond passed Christmas day with their
mother, Mrs. Abbie Strong.
l. ne StuU6HIS WHO nave DttIi at lileil
homes for the Christmas recess have
returned to their schools, Mabel A.
Strong to Mt. Holyoke. Alma p. Rob-
bins to Brewster Academy, Wolfeboro.
y. H., Vinton Hussey and Hayes Web
ster to Bucksport Seminary. Willard E.
Strong, Jr, and Elaine Rowe to Cony
High.
elmer z. Dow who was called to
Wiscasset Wednesday by the sudden
death of his mother. returned home
Sunday afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. +. T. Clark and son
Edwin of Waterville We're Christmas
guests of Mrs. Eta Barrows. Mrs.
! Clark and son returned to their home
! Wednesday afternoon.
At meeting of the Milk Producers
Association held at the State House
Saturday forenoon. Clarence f. Rowe
was elected president of the Nassal-
boro and China organization and secre-
tary of the Kennebec county associa-
ton.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
IF KIDNEYS and
BLADDER BOTHER
Take Salts to flush Kid.
neys and neutralize
irritating acids.

Kidney and Bladder weakness result
from uric acid, says a noted AUTHORITY
The kidneys filter this acid from N,
blood and pass it on to the bladder
where ii often remains to irritate and
inflame causing a burning. scaldins
sensation. or setting up an Irritation
at the neck of the bladder. obliginr
you to seek relief two or three times
during the night. The sufferer Is IN
constant dread, the water passes some
times with a scalding sensation and "a
very profuse; again, there Is difficulty
in avoiding it,
Bladder weakness, most folks call 4
because they can't control urination
While it is extremely annoying and
sometimes very painful this Is really
one of the most simple ailments TO
overcome. Get about four ounces o.,
Iad Salts from your pharmacist and
take tablespoonful in a glass O.
water before breakfast. continue this
for two or three days. This will neu.
traliZe the acids in the urine so Il no
longer is a source Of irritation to III.
bladder and urinary organs which then
act normally again.
Jad Salts is inexpensive. harmless
and is made from the acid of grapes
and lemon juice, combined with lithh,
and is used by thousands Of folks who
are subject to urinary disorders caused
by uric acid irritation Jad Salts Is
splendid for kidneys and causes no bad
effects whatever.
| Here you have a pleasant, efferves.
cent lithia-water drink, which quickly
relieves bladder trouble-Adv
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
LOVOTT ESCAPES
BAKE SHOP FIRE

Bangor. Me. Jan. Sam Lovott.
who conducts a baker shop at II Essex
street. had a narrow escape Tuesday
morning when an electric motor explod-
ed in his shop and throwing him back
towards the wall several feet, started a
fire which burned from the basement of
the three-story building to the roof, and
but for the ability of the firemen to con-
fine the fire to that building, would have
meant a serious confiagration in this
section of Essex street where the hous-
G '..~ CO.. close to@ethcr
Mr.. Lovott was working In his shop
49, o.o1 C4Oth 4>eauay morning
and was ready to mix some dough.
He turned on the electric motor.
which is used in mixing the dough.
and there was sudden explosion.
The proprietor of the shop was
thrown back and all the wood about
the machine was ablaze in an instant.
Mr.. Lovott was overcome by the shock
and had difficulty in getting out of the
shop to sound an alarm
The damage to the baker shop is es-
tlmated at $1l00 on which there is 5000
insurance. y large supply of material
was on hand. and over 600 loayes of
bread We're made up ready for delivery.
mere were several barrels of flour in
the shop, barrel Of sweet oil, and the
machinery which was used by Mr.
Lovott in his baking business.
The house was owned by John
Richardson. proprietor of the Aroosto DOL,
House and the upper stories were oc-
cupied by a foreign family.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
HOUSEWIVES DAILY
ECONOMY CALENDAR
BY Frances Marshall
When Are Manners Good?

copyright. 1917. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate)
We don't think half so much about
"minding our manners" now.a-days a..
our grandmothers did. Somehow we
ieel mat II we are well-bred we will
just naturally be well-mannered If NC
are Drought up with persons who do the
r'sht thlhg we will absorb good man
ners. Isn't that the way you feel about
IL We never think of giving orr cbi,-
dren set of rules for proper docorur,
IN the way they used to do a generatio,,
or SO ago.
ana really 1t does seem as if pood
manners seem to us perfect and trv nc
we may we cannot put our finger IN
any special thing that they do that wo
90 not do. No doubt Sir Walter SCOTT
was Just such person. Here is what
ms friend Maria Edgeworth said about
him.
He is one of the hest bred mon
ever saw, with all the exquisite no,i,o-
ness he knows so wei how IA dascr,,o
which is of no particular schoo, ~
country but which is all countrios 49,
politeness which arises from good ,nd
'N''7S VI ictIlHS, which seems n
know by instinct the characters of nth
ers to see what will please and NM oil
MS guests at their case"
1t is fact that the art Of p,,t,;,x
one guest at their case is a matter of
quick sense of feeling as much as a,y
thing else. We can please one e,,ae, h.,
one sort or attention, another by apotb-
err one guest will blossom under ono
sort OF treatment, another under anoth-
er' with one we shall find poin, nc
contact If we discuss books or music
another is at her best when we engage
IN small talk, or harmless gossip. And
the perfect hostess is all things to oil
guests at the same time.
In France 1t is considered the heipb+
OF rudeness to discuss any subject
which is not familiar to the GUESTS who
are listening. For instance, if Won
have two guests at the same time and
one is familiar with music and the otber
Is not, 1t would be the height of rude
ness to let the conversation linger more
than in passing on the subject Of music.
Yet how often we do that? How often
we choose the subject of conversation
upon which we can talk to the best adj
vantage regardless of whether it is one
on which guests can talk fluently or
not.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
January Clearance Sale

To this store 10 what a good housewife
10 to every home at house cleaning
time. To Cleanup, Gull out, get rid
Of ali odds and ends accumulated and
get things in tip-top shape. "Mr. J.
c. O." has been assigned this task and
if you have any doubt that his job will
not be complete one-just read on
and you will see.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
MISERABLE FROM
STOMACH TROUBLE
Felt Wretched Until He Started
To Take "FruIt-a-tives"
594 Champlain St.. Montreal.

OH IIIHuIPIdIH 0t.s HO0tr66L
For two years was q miserah.
sufferer from Rheumatism and Sto m.
ach Trouble. had frequent Diz,v
Spells, and when took food, ri,
wretched and sleepy I suffered from
Rheumatism dreadfully, with pains i,
my back and joints. and my hand,
swollen.
A friend advised "Fruit-a-tives' Ana
from the outset. they did me sooS
After the first box, felt was. gettiur
we'll and l can truthfully say thai
'Fruit-a- tives" is the only medicins
that helped me-" LOUIS LABRIE.
soc. a box. for $3.50. trial size, &c
At all dealers or sent postpaid bv
Fruit a -tives Limited, Ogdensburg, n
Y.-Adv.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1917-01-04
BREAKS A COLD
IN A few HOURS
First dose of ''Pape's Cold Com.
pound" relieves all grippe
misery.
Don't stay Stuffed-up!

Don't stay Stuffed-up!
Quite blowing and snufiling! A dos.
of "Pape's Cold Compound" taken
every two hours until three doses are
taken will end grippe misery and
break up a severe cold either in tn.
head, chest, body or limbs.
1t promptly opens clogged-up nos
trils and air passages; stops nastg
discharge or nose running: relieve,
sick headache, dullness, feverishness
sore throat. sneezing, soreness and
stiffness.
'Pape's Cold Compound" Is thu
quickest. surest relief known and
costs only 25 cents at drug stores
1t acts without assistance. tastes nice
and causes no inconvenience. DOM
accept a substitute-Adv.