davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Why We Do II,

= reader OF this column hurls this at US:
Why do you write serious poem that deals
with something worth while, and follow il up
with an idiotic pun joker"
Answer: Respected Sir.-Becausc rye never
seen a successful bacon that was all fat or all
lean. nor life worth living nor a mind worth
having that was all serious all trivial. Thanks
for your inquiry; it adds diversity of contents
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Cnnninn Sen

ID. E. N, West Point, Va.-There Is
no known outlet to The Caspian Sea.
Some have thought there might be one
underground. although many great
rivers empty into the Caspian Sea, the
surface remains permanently lower
than that OF the Black Sea.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Pastor Accepts Call.

Especial to The Times Dispatch.1
PULASKI. VA. August Rev r.
T. Cox. OF Lone Oak. Va. has advised
the officers Of the Baptist Church thar
he VIII accept the call TO become pas
tor. He will arrive in time to take up
the work with the next Sunday serv.
ices.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Information Bureau

injuries regarding almost my tonic.
excepting "n ieBui nhu meaicaI .uu
'eets' ure answered Tree. As all IN
rairies are answered uircctly ~ per-
soh"i ieter' s-cent stamp ~ REQUIRED
ior return postage. Auurcss Ihe tue..
Disf4tsh ihiornintion bureau, ixich-
lIAOIu.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

1. Is. =, IInton, Fa.-Sir Samuel
Cuhafd founded Inc Cunard Line OF
Steamers. The iirst voyage OF a
Cunard Line steamer was inaue by m.
Britannia, july Ala, 1910, from Liver
pOUl u Boston.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

Irving Greentrec.s automobile was
nadly battered when it collided yester-
day with car driven and owned by w.
ID. Hill, at Seventh and Broad Stre.,,
No one was hurt
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Question. md Answers.

William L. and His Medical Dictionary.-win
you please explain the difference between an
optictan, optonietrist and oculst? To look
things up In medical dictionary makes
seed catalogue. Anyway. a medical dictionary
Is written that only n doctor can understand
It, and layman gets indigestion for his pains
in consulting 1t. w. l..
Answcr.-An oculst is n physician who limits
MS practice to diseases of the eye. An optician
is person trained in the art of optics. measur-
Ing and grinding lenses. An optomctrst Is a
person who has no medical training diagnos-
tic training, but fits spectacles. (Now Heaven
help us II any critic discovers a hairs breadth
of variation from the dictionary deinitons!)
aged and one-haf years. delights in feed
ing the rabbits. She petting one. when 1t
bit her finger. ! Immediately applied iodine,
and worried to death lest hydrophobia de-
velop Our people laugh at me. but l want to
make sure. Wire answer collect, IL necessary.
Answer.-Who said rabbit fcro-
cious beast? Rabies is seldom. IL ever.
tracted from the bite OF hcrbiverous animal.
Your tirst-aid treatment was excellent. In any
such case, whatever the animal, IL you want to
be the safe side. have the animal watched
by veterinary surgeon for two weeks. II in
that time signs OF illness develop in the
animal there is chance of rabies in the per-
bitten.
Soaping Down the Fat.-I have heard that
half pound of Epson salts and half bar OF
the finest toilet soap dissolved in n pint OF soft
water would remove supcrfuous fat wherever
applied. Please tell il the treatment would be
In any way dangerous. L. b.
Answer.-The only danger can see in It is
the danger OF personal injury to the perpctrator
Of the hoax by the victims who credulous
to try 1t. But 1t would be grand and glorious
If it were true. wouldn't 1t. ladies?
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
The E1-Cxar,a Homes.

It's safe bet that the ex-czar
would prefer liberty to Russian Lib
cry oond. BY investing in the latter
now he doubtless homes to get tho
former latcr.-Roanoke Times.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
A Safety P1ny.

SnfetJ rlay.
An aviator sailed high he touched the Cobra
n the sky,
And way aloft his engine coughed, quite
hideous:
And in my bones felt desire to go and BIO a
godarned flyer
lllusive glamours gripped my soul, insidious,
On second thought. recollect I took a moment
to reflect
lpcn the truth that Fate. in youth. is mutable;
ana so made a safety play: Here on the
ground chose to stay
mat I'll live longers simply irrefutable!
An. here's queer eptaph: Here lies a
Lawyer"
Huh! Habit too strong even for the erays
yes?"
Accommodation.
flease' mum, kin youse help Teller? 7
am mad bite in two days."
oh. 100 bad too bad! Here. Tige com. rive
'his gentleman couple of nice bites."
A worthy man strove all his life
T" make perfect score
And always lacked. at maximum
That necessary more"
Then just as he had got it pat
II totaled up: "Requiescat."
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Voice Of the PEOPLE

Letters must give the name and nd
dress of the writer. Snmc viii ma, n.
published IL writer 50 requests.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

Miss =. ]. NJ. Troutdaie, Va.-The
former Czarina OF Russia is a grand
daughter OF queen Victoria cousin OF
The King of England and OF the Ger.
man Emperor.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Right, Too. Usually

IT, boasted the loud-voiced winner. 1T am a
self made man."
Giminy crickets" exclaimed the also-ran; do
you know what blamed fool passed the specifi-
cations"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

Every great war has bred an active
pacihst element. but no war has ever pro-
duced such mixture OF senselcss and dan
gerous pacihsm as the present war There
are without doubt millions OF men in this
world OF war, many of them educated. who
would submtNso carrying u bail and chain
on their limbs from the military autocracy
IL they could only stop the war. a certain
per cent Of so-callcd pacfists are traitors hut
1t is the earnest doctrinaire and fanaticaI
paclhsts III Congress. in Parliament in
the press and in the university who supple-
ment the danger of the military autocracy.
Practically all the Socialists throughou, tho
world are innate pacifists But pacifsm is
confined to no group or class or place
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

we usually find ourselves in hearty accord
with the public utterances of Hon Richard
f. BYRD, but when he states that the Gov
ernor OF Virginia. under the present Consti
tuition, Is mere fgurchead. we cannot hut
deem him guilty of an understatement Tho
governor is commander-in- chief OF tho land
and naval forces Of the Commonwealth. he
is under the necessity during the war ~
being also an efficient arm OF the national
defense; he is eX-otiico chairman of the State
board OF Taxation of which there are only
Two other members, well as chairman NJ
the State Boa-G OF Education. He has the
appointment during his term OF two members
OF the Corporation Commission. the most
powerful or our governmental agencies: he
appoints the heads of several imnortant
bureaus and fills vacancies in the Circuit
Courts and in the Court of Appeals His
veto power may set at naught the will of the
Legislature as regards large proportion of
It's enactments, and he is potential in the
matter OF securing such laws as he desires
he may remove for cause all Of the executive
officers except the Lieutenant Governor and
lis generally charged with the duty of seeing
that the laws are enforced Altogether we
should say that he is very much more than
"a mere fgurehead
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Charcoal Eph'. Daily Thought.

i mos Einally notices." said Charcoal Eoh
DAT dc man dats yellin amen de loudes. am
prayin' wild he eyes sh.t when de collection
basket comes by. Try some mo 'lasses M,stah
jackson"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
Matrimonial Note.

The bride proved her confidence by giving hin
a night key. Five years later she changed tn.
lock.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

AS TO food control. one head Is better tba,
three when it's Hoover's. ''a"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

The Russian women in the trenches ar,
displaying brand OF militancy which is win
ming general applause.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

IN Germany brass door knockers are being
melted up. but there will BIO plenty of
knockers Of Germany left in other COUNT
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

Inc performance of the thermometer these
Gays reminds one of flying Mercury
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

huehlman is to succeed Zimmerman
Why not try gentleman?
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

ne Germans are tearing up wires in Rel,
gum. Well, they always liked to null ,hcm
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

now Goethals and Denman can continue
their controversy without imperiling ,bcir
country. 'i'
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

mere are indications that the goyernmcn,
VIII not slacken its pursuit of slackcrs
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

IN these days the report of a Mexican
pa'tie reads like an account OF Concv
Island picnic. ''
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

ADDRESS ALL COMMUNICATIONS to Tho Times-
IN. nn1 mott
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

PUBLISHED every day year Mt ~ south TENN
B Street. Richmond. Va. by The Times dispatch TUB,
q nshins Co.., inc. Charles Ensufook. Editor anu
Manager.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03
MrinrDnD Gln1ps;35- Dispatrj
rliE DISPATCH

Entered January %, l9oa at tho Post OfhSe at
Richmond. Va. sccond-Siass matter
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

txkASCu OFFICES: WASH
ington, .le tOurtechtn
SlIee., n. ~; Sew 1ork
Gay, E'it,h Avenue BuIlu-
ins; CuiSuxo. l'eopics Gas
DuLidnis; .'nIlau1pliLa, Mu-
tuai LllS lSuLIuIiig.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

.EL.E..liOSE: Randolph 1.
Private Branch Exchange
connecting with ali depart
inentb.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-08-03

u Il our friends vino with nnuscrpls uiiu
wish nave una aiihoie
articles r.purncd they must cases seho e'nps
TOR thnt
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Why Worry2

May l pass on suggestion that has
proved very helpful? We have all seen
those pretty mottos which read, Don't
Worry" and haven't they always called
forth the same old, petulant query,
"How can 1 help it?" Well, when you
want a new motto, have it read, "Why
Worry?" You will be astonished at
the train of thought it will suggest,
says a writer in Nautilus. You look
at it and say, "That's so. Why?" You
sit down to reason out "why." In the
office where work we have a "Why
Worry?" motto in green and white
stretched across one wall, and we be-
lieve that motto has done more good
than all the Don't Worry's" you could
find in the town. OF a vast number of
callers there are very few who do not
make some comment-all favorable
comments, too. The Office staff gets
inspiration there with each new day,
and 1t is truly one of the office fixtures
as is the managers desk or the book
case filed with volumes from the pens
of our cleverest and most talented
writer's.
Sit down right now and ask your
own soul-"Why Worry?"
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
"Try an Upper Rerth.n

A suggestion has been made to the
travelling public by the western roads
interested in war economy that travel
ers try an upper berth. "Try an up
per-" they say, you'll like it." The
idea is to fill every Pullman which is
hauled, upper and lower, instead of
hauling a string Of them, in which only
the lower compartments are occupied.
All of which brings to mind that it
probably is the story of the proverbial
fat man and his difficulties in distrib-
uting himself comfortably over an up
per which has established a prejudice
in the public mind against the upper
berth. The railroad companies them
selves give the following recommend
alton to the upper berth, so it must be
so. SIT is 20 per cent less expensive
than the lower, the occupant is further
removed from the noise of the wheels,
is out of the way of people moving up
and down the aisle, enjoys excellent
ventilation and all the comforts sup
piled by the lower berth."-New York
Sun.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Switzerland as an Angel of Mercy.

In the early days of August, 1914,
when the furies of war descended upon
Europe, Switzerland realized that it
would be her lot to act as angel of
mercy the war sufferers and prison
ers of her belligerent neighbors. The
little Alpine republic was herself
obliged to arm against possible viola
tions of her territory; she was forced
into an economic neutrality which de-
mands ever-increasing sacrifices, and
which at this time has become an issue
of utmost Importance, writes Marie
Widmer in the American Review of
Reviews. But, Notwithstanding her
own heavy burdens and the serious
food problems confronting her, Switz-
erland has not for one instant paused
In her charitable activities on behalf
of suffering mankind, for she is proud
and grateful that such high and no.
BILE task has been allotted to her.
Switzerland, the home of true de-
mocracy, is, moreover, the land where
that most benevolent institution, the
Red Cross, had its foundation.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
CHANGES IN DRAFTING SYSTEM.
Nine Million Remaining Resistrants
Will Be Divided into Five Glasses.

Washington.-A sweeping change
in the machinery of the selective
draft, based on division of the 9,OO0,.
600 remaining registrants into five
classes in order of their eligibility for
military service, was announced by
Provost Marshal General Crowder.
Details of the plan, which has been
approved by President Wilson, are
not disclosed. 1t is calculated, how
ever, to do away with virtually all the
complicated machinery of the first
draft. The plan was worked out at
conferences with local and district
board officials and approved by the
various state authorities.
It's chief features are that every reg
istered man will know his exact posi-
ton and be able to arrange his affairs
accordingly and that no man deemed
necessary in any important industry
or needed at home to support his fam
lily will be called to the colors unless
the military situation is desperate.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27

from all over the country, and as the
quarters are being constantly en-
larged, there is still room for con-
siderable number of men having the
proper qualifications.
In answer to many inquiries, the
commanding officer of the United
States Army Balloon School, at Fort
Omaha, says that the qualifications of
men applying for the commission Of
Pilots are as follows:
The Balloon Service calls for high
class of work and applicants for COM
missions in the line must possess
sterling qualifications.
First they must be citizens of United
States and not under 10 years of age
and not over 35.
The must be energetic and forceful.
and of good moral character and clean
habits
After passing the examinations re-
quired the applicant is enlisted as a
first class private in the aviation sec
ton of the Signal Enlisted Reserve
Corps.
He is then assigned to n school for
training, and the time of training de-
pends upon the mans ability.
After qualifying as an observation
balloon pilot he is commissioned as
a first lieutenant. Aviation Section
Signal officers Reserve Corps.
From the time of his entrance into
!, &c oil
he receives 500 per month, quarters
and food allowance. AS first lieuten-
ant $4,000 year.
Application blanks can be secured
by addressing the President Aviation
Examining Board at Fort Omaha,
Neb
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
LIABILITY FOR AGENTS ACTS
One Should Ascertain Limit Of Respon-
sibility Before Delegating Powers,
Says Arthur Train.

Most men think they can get along
without a lawyer. Arthur Train, the
famous author and lawyer, shows in an
article in the American Magazine how
foolish this belief is. He says:
1.-THE most dangerous practice of or
binary business, or even of ordinary
domestic life, is the employment of an
agent or servant without first ascer-
tanning how far you can be made liable
for contracts or purchases which he
may make. Suppose that you have
allowed your hired man to buy lawn
mower and grass seed at the corner
store, that the storekeeper has called
you up on the telephone, and that you
have told him that the order was all
right. At the end of the month you
may perhaps receive bill for all sorts
of implements and supplies which you
have never received. Are you liable?
Many things which you absolutely for
bid your agent to do may yet be with
in what the law calls the apparent
scope of his authority
'In plain language this simply means
that, when you employ another to act
for you, you are bound by his acts and
agreements so long as they are such
as a reasonable man, in view of the
general nature of his employment,
would assume from all the circum-
stances to be authorized. Obviously,
If the shoe is on the other foot, and
you have yourself delivered goods to
somebody else's foreman, in accord
ance with regular custom, it would
be unfair for the employer to refuse
to pay you for the goods on the ground
that he has instructed the foreman to
make no more purchases, when he has
given you no notice to that effect. Just
what acts are apparently within the
scope of an agents authority, is a
question which even learned judges
find 1t hard to decide"
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Ex.PRESIDENT IMPRESSED WITH
FORT OMAHA COLLEGE.
EYES OF ARTILLERY IN ACTION
Eight Hundred Pupils Are Undergoing
Training for Places in Uncle Sans
Army of the Air.-Field Open for
More AppIicants.-Sterlng QLali-
fications Essential.

Omaha, Oct. 23.-Ex-Prcsident Taft
Inspected the big balloon school ut
Fort Omaha last week, saw the huge
sausage shaped forms carry the OBJ
servers 1000 feet in the air, from
where they signalled the activities of
the occupants of trenches five or six
miles away to the dummy artillery,
and at the conclusion of his tour eX-
pressed his opinion of the work of
this new branch of the service that
has come to be known as 1.-The eyes of
the artillery" as wonderful"
At Fort Omaha there are being
trained at present nearly 800 keen
young Americans who will in the near
future, from their lofty perches in the
clouds in France and Belgium, direct
the fire of the American artillery that
is to pave the way for the drive to
Berlin.
AS the men at present in training at
Fort Omaha leave for active service,
their places are being taken by men
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
OCT. 2S DAY OF PRAYER
FOR SUCCESS OF AMERICAN
ARMS IN THE WAR.
President Wilson Issues Proclamation
in Accordance With Resolution
Passed by Congress.
Western Newspaper Union News Service

Western Newspaper Union News Service
Washington.-Presi Wilson by
proclamation declared Sunday, Oct.
2S, as a day of prayer for the success
of the American arms in the war, in
accordance with the recent resolution
of Congress. The Presidents procla-
nation is as follows
Whereas, The Congress of the
United States by a concurrent resolu-
ton adopted on the 4th day of the
present month of October, in view OF
the entrance of our nation into the
vast and awful war which now afflicts
the greater part of the world, has re-
quested me to set apart by official
proclamation day upon which our
people should be called upon to offer
concerted prayer to Almighty God for
His divine aid in the success of our
arms; and,
Whereas, 1t behooves a great free
people, nurtured as we have been in
the eternal principles of justice and OF
right a nation which has sought
from the earliest days of it's existence
to be obedient to the divine teachings
which inspired it in the exercise OF
its liberties, to turn always to the
Supreme Master and cast themselves
in faith at His feet praying for His
aid and succor in every hour of trial,
to the end that the great aims to
which our fathers dedicated our power
as a people may not perish among
men, but be always asserted and de-
Tended with fresh ardor and devotion
and, through the divine blessing, set
at last upon enduring foundations for
the benefit of all the free peoples OF
the earth;
Now, therefore, l, Woodrow VIII
son, President of the United States,
gladly responding to the wish ex-
pressed by the Congress, do appoint
Oct 2S, being the last Sunday of the
present month, as a day of supplica-
tion and prayer for all the people of
the nation, honestly exhorting all my
countrymen to observe the appointed
day, according to their several faiths
in solemn prayer, that Gods blessings
may rest upon the high task which is
laid upon us, to the end that the cause
for which we give our lives and treas
ure may triumph and our efforts be
blessed with high achievement"
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Farming Without Hands.

London Tit Bits tells this story. Jean
Ledrans, a French peasant, was mo-
bilized at the outbreak of war in the
artillery. Being known as an expert
grenadier, he was chosen to train re-
cruits in bombing. While giving in
struction, a grenade he held burst,
killed six men, and wounded Ledrans
in five places. He lost his right eve
and both his hands were blown Off.
Immediately after his recovery, the
peasant girl to whom he had been en-
gagged married him, and he settled on
his father-in-law's farm. This brave
son of France, who lost his hands
little over a year ago, is now able to
write perfectly well, to drive a horse
and cart, drive pillow, hoe and dig in
the fields, and harness and unharness
Il horse. All the appliances which he
uses on both stumps of his forearms
have been devised by himself.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Milk for Babies.

Jersey and Guernsey cows give rich
fat-producing milk, and for that reason
their milk has been regarded as too
rich for infants. 1t is still true that
the milk of the Ayrshire and the Hol-
stein is better suited to infants than
the Jersey and Guernsey milk, but the
cause is not the fat, as has been
thought. The fact is that the casein
of the Ayrshire and Holstein milk 10
decidedly more flocculated and not so
readily curdled in the stomach, SO that
1t is the most easily digested by chill
dren.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
Russ Elect Bottled UP.

Petrograd.-Twenty Russian war
sbips of various classes are bottled
IN in Moon sound, with Gordon Of
German warcraft barring their egress
northward back into the Gulf of Fin
land or to the south into the Gulf Of
Riga. The Russians attempted to
force the Germans back off Oesel
island. and in the engagement the
battleship Slava-a relic of the days
before the Russo-Japanese war was
sunk and other units were SO badly
damaged that the Russian flotilla was
forced to seek refuge in Moon sound.
The Colorado statesman., 1917-10-27
FOODS 80 PER CENT HIGHER.
Sugar Prices in England Have Been
Trebled


Ottawa, Ont.-Beef and mutton in
England now exceed their pre-war
prices by is pence per pound, says a
report published in the government
Labor Gazette. Butter and bacon are
now double their pre-war level. MIX
is rs per cent higher than in July,
1914. These figures and the following
table of per cent increases since the
war are contained in a London dis
patch to the Ottawa agency of Reu-
ter's limited:
Beef nearly 100; mutton, 81; import
ed beef, 1872 imported mutton, 1853;
bacon, 10; fish, $50; sugar, 100; but
ter, 90; cheese, 81; eggs, 160.
In the cost of all items usually en-
tering into the working class family,
includi ag food, rent, clothing, fuel and
light, the increase has been nearly 80
per cent, allowing per cent for the
advances due to increased taxation.