The Washington herald., 1917-08-30
just Between Friends.

ledge. dis yere womun called me
a.; mus All tell you what she said
Jedge? (nod from the court). she
called me a low-down, good-for-
nothing missy" complained Liza
Burke. pointing at Josie CAN'T.
Well. what made her do that?'
asked the court. "Ah doan know
sah," replied Liza, 'cept da All let's
nah chillen play in nah from yard
and dey gets on her poach."
Josie had another story to tell
altogether. "Jedge. that air womun
right thar let's her chillen thow dirt.
tin cans, gobbidge. rotten fish an
lakadat all ober nah porch. on nah
clean clos wot All jest wasn't, en-
All tole her to keep 'em often NAH
cuss langwidge.' WELL" said the
this woman any more names and
she mustn't let her children throw
things or go on your front porch.
Case dismissed.
JUS A Love Tap.
"Yessir. Jedge. dis man has been
layin 70 me for de longest kind of
a time-Ah neber not-silence in
court-en de oder day l wuz coming
outen de five en- ten cent store and
he said. 'Dere goes dat painted
hussy' en- he follows me home and
1 tole him All didn't want him roun
and den he hit me wild a piece of
the porch railin."
John Green, the fellow who said,
"Ah nebe not" accused Alice Stone
of doing the hitting. AS soon as
Alice caught her breath from the
long speel we have just related.
she started an argument with John.
The bailiff escorted her to a seat
and by this time the case was over
and John was released on his per-
sonal bonds to let the women alone.
I. w. w.
The Maryland authorities are taking
census of buns, loafers, vagrants
"wont-works'' and all those people
who are called different things but
are all the same thing. That's how
John Murphy got over here. Whai
right had the State OF Maryland ask.
ing John any embarrassing questions
None at all. he thought. But the pool
fellow jumped out of the frying par
into the fire. He was offered a Job al
Camp Meade at S3 per and car fare
out there, but he was too much OF a
pacifist.
Once in a while the police here pu,
out the dragnet for loafers. John was
not averse to exercising his right
elbow in front of a long bar. but
when IL came to work, II called for
too much energy. judge Pugh de-
cided that thirty days under govern
ment supervision" at Occoquan was
just the medicine John needed for his
disease.
Ruthless Edward.
"Ah quits nah job and comes after
nah pay" said Ed Lawson, charged
with sending a rock through the glass
panel in the door of his former boss
office on G. street. Ed was told tc
come back Saturday when the regular
payroll was made up, but he couldn't
see 1t that way.
A little thought on his part would
have saved calamity He got
rough and manhandled few of the
other boys and got revenge" on the
boss by busting his glass door. Now
he can collect his pay and turn II
right over to the clerk OF the court
instead of keeping 1t himself. He
thinks, however, that he had SIC
worth of spite. Did he?
LeftIe Louie, Huhf
Louie Stout has been reading about
the German atrocities Cd all those
brutal things the Huns do in self
defense" and it got on his mind. So
he bought a ten-shot automatic pistol
and lay in wait for these gentlemen.
He came from Charlottesville, Va, to
work in one of the big army camps.
In a restaurant on North Capitol
street Louie ordered a few beans.
They were so unlike the Virginia va
rIety and they tasted so different that
Louie called the proprietor and asked
him to sample the beans. "Joos lax
any odder bean" said the proprietor.
The h-you say" said Louie, and
there were~a few more words ex-
changed, then some licks passed and
Louie was hauled to the box and
searched. The gun was found He
promised the court to get out Of town,
make quick use Of his return ticket
and a sixty-day sentence was sus-
pended.
Oh, Pshaw, Boys, Look!
Asbury Taylor has always refrained
from wearing a coat in warm wealth
er. He wears an immense blue sleeve
holder with a big bow attached on
cne sleeve and pink one on the other
arm. The, girls just go crazy over
these little things. He came to blows
with another man who called him a
Sissy" and he was putting up pretty
good fight when Policeman Matthews
showed up.
The other. man beat it and Asbury
wanted to fight Matthews. No man