davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Luke McLuke Says

A man is a whole lot like a rooster He can't get get up early in the morn ing without doing a lot of growing over it.
 Anyway, it must be some consola- ton to a homely man to recall that Abe Lincoln wasn't so doggone hand some.
 You can convince your wife against her will But ten minutes later she will forget that she has been convinced.
 If the typewriters in offices received much attention as the girls who op- crate them, they wouldn't get out of order very often.
 What has become of the old fashion ed boy whose hands were covered with warts and who claimed that he got them from toads?
 You may have noticed that the chronic pessimists who claim that life is not worth living are the same fellows who are always running to see a doctor so that they can prolong life little while
 Think this over: The fear of things that never happen is responsible for 99 per cent. of your troubles.
 Every now and then Nature jolts a man to remind him that he needs exer- else. And he will regard it as a sign that he needs rest, and he'll go and take one.
 The average city man wishes he were a farmer and could get fresh milk and vegetables. And the farmers idea of luxury is canned goods
 The difference between Opportunity and Bill Collector is that Opportunity knocks but once at a mans door
 A married man has his ups and downs in this life. His wife runs up bills and
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

The strongest literature is that which tells truth in clear, crisp English that is understandable. A great deal of the best English have these days appears in advertisements. It is good because it tells the truth in few words possible This is partly the circumstance that it appears in space which is paid for at high rate. more potent is the fact that the authors desire to tell story so simply and directly and quickly that it Will be read and understood by all sorts and con ditions of people.
 The truth of these conclusions concerning adver Using literature better illustrated than in the campaign for the sale of Liberty Bonds Perhaps no clearer statement of the stake at issue in the present has been made than is contained in these 61 words that often used
 This will be the last if
 Americans win it. If lose, then this
 will be only the beginning of wars
 upon holocaust of slaughter of
 famine and horrors. The issue is plain.
 It is up you. Either you will do your
 bit you will later be forced to
 make the supreme sacrifice"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
ALASKA'S SEMI-CENTENNIAL
(NeW York WOrld)

IN6W 1Ork WOrIdD
 Just fifty years today Brig. Gen. Lowell liar rison Rousseau who had been assigned to duty in the Territory of Alaska by President Johnson, received that domain from the Russian government behalf of the United States and assumed control of the Territory, the largest addition with the ex- cepton of the Louisiana Purchase, that has made to the United States it's being 590,884 Louisiana Purchase acquired in 1S03 than half century earlier. The greatest of the previous sessions Florida in 1819 Texas in 1845, Oregon in 1846, the Mexican cesson in 1848 and the Gads- den Purchase in 1853. Since the purchase of Alas ka, the Hawaiian Islands,, Porto Rico, Guam the Philippines, Samoa and the Panama Canal Zone have been added, making total added territory of 2,651,- I'll square miles, empire in itself
 No other country has rapidly asqured vast territories and little cost treasure and blood. So easy and natural did these acquisitions come about that other single phase well explain the process manifest destiny"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

lie Lincoln lectured throughout the country on poli-
 ca of his time for pay and former President Roosevelt has been writing for pay great deal since he left the Presidency The circumstance that Judge Gerard has travelled throughout the United States lecturng the and the incidents of his years in Berlin without cost to anyone carrying on campaign of education among the American peo- ple, showing why it impossible for the United States to stay of the war, should be taken as evidence that he is acting in good faith The verdict of history no doubt will be that the former Ambas- sador to Berlin has rendered a patriotic service in what he has done.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
0 U A K E R Q U P s

Philadelphia Record)
 The woman who is always looking for the latest wrinkle never thinks of searching in her mirror.
 The fact that there is plenty of room tt the top would indicate that most of IS are too lazy to climb.
 A mighty curious thing is an argu- nent. It always has two sides, but )nly seem to have one end.
 You never can tell. Any man can make good resolutions but it's quite another matter to make good
 It is just as well to put off till to- morrow the trouble you can look for eoday. Maybe somebody else will find it.
 It's all right to be prepared, but many a man spends all his life waiting for the unexpected that never hap pens.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
THE ALASKAN RAILROAD
(Boston Herald)

(Boston Herald)
 Is the government building a railroad
 the present time in Alaska? If so
 you tell where it and when
 it will be completed?
 G. A. Auburndae.
 Yes On March 12 1914 the Alaskan railroad act approved by the President This act au- thorzed the President to locate railroad in the Ter ritory of Alaska not to exceed in aggregate 1000 miles. The primary purpose of the railroad de scribed in the act to develop the of Alaska. and particularly in coal. The main line is under construction from Seward. the Pacific coast inland for 470 miles to Fairbanks the Tan river, tributary of the Yukon. There is now in operation 150 miles of this line. The road taps two large coal fields, the Matanuska and the Nenana. The railroad is also being constructed southward from Fairbanks to the Nenana field. It is expected that the gap of 25 miles existing between Anchor age and Seward will be closed early in 1918. When completed the railroad will furnish coal in unlimited quantity for the navy.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
J. J. HILLS INVESTMENTS
Wall Street JournaD

(Wall Street JOurndl)
 Readers of the Wall Street Journal at least should not surprised learn that less tkan half Of the late James J. Hills wealth at the time of his death in railroads. He owned stock Of the Great Northern of approximate value of $o- 100000. Northern Pacific just $100000O and an equal interest in Burlington minority shares. 1t was long understood by his associates that Mir. Hill n- tended to turn his Burlington stock in his own good time the controlling roads Of railroad stocks owned roughly $7O00,000 in market value, and of railroad bonds something like S16,000,000. It secret at the time that he reduced his rail road holdings, chiefly of the Northern Pacific in order to buy control of the First National Bank of St. Paul
 The remainder of estate appraised at S60,- 000 660 consisted almost entirely of bank stocks, in oiuding the First National of St. Paul and consider able holdings in three New York and two Chicago institutions of first importance Mir. Hill frequently remarked his friends that he regretted not having realized earlier in his life the greater importance of banking compared with transportation in deveIop- ment of country.
 The question he thus raised is perhaps less in terestng in itself than the light his uterance throws on the mans amazing power at advanced age to turn his mind into fields Perhaps he might be understood having made unconscious comment upon the change which had railroad if nance during his lifetime
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
UNTHINKING ATTACKS

Some of the newspapers of the country un. thinkingly attacking former Ambassador Gerard for selling to syndicate of newspapers" the serial rights to a book that he has written his exper- fences in Germany One paper charges that he has shown bad taste" and adds: Former Ambassador Gerard should have informed his government of ev- erything possible desired by it. but when him. self become attached to newspaper syndicate and commenced to disclose things that given him when he a diplomatic representative he com menced to make especially hard the way of other Americans who shall be attached to foreign posts.
 This is not just to Judge Gerard. In the first place Judge Gerard did sell the rights his book to the Hearst newspapers, and the merited unpopu. larity of the Hearst papers to be the founda
 ton of the criticism of his action. He sold the rights to the Philadelphia Ledger and the latter syndicated them. However the fact is that the for mer Ambassador had reported all of the important facts he discloses the President and Secretary State, and he advised by them to write his book and put it out to the American people The that he sold the book and the serial rights to it should not be counted against him. That s the way such things are usually given to the pub
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
(. CARTWRIGHT
 FOR
 Hallowe' en Novelties of all kinds
HAVE YOU SPRUCE FOR
 SALE?

We are in the market for lin. l 4 -in., 11A in. and 2-in. No. Shop Spruce, the same thicknesses in No. ? Clear & Better Spruce. and as much 3-in. to 6-in. by 8-in. and over wide, IS fit. to 40 it. long. Clear Vertical Grain Spruce as you can get out. In replying please give specific details regarding stock you have on hand covering quanti- ties of the different sizes and grades and whether it is dry or green. Can you furnish any Bevel Siding, Ceiling and Finish in No. ? Clear & Better Spruce? Can you surface the Shop and Clear Spruce? Can you accept orders for specified thicknesses and grades? In naming your best price please quote delivered F. O. B. cars, Prince Rupert and aboard vessel Seattle, Wash. We would like to have your price both ways.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Our Joe Miller Contest.

Glenn c. Bartlett. once upon time "a newsboy in Vancouver. but more lately boy of news of Juneau. Alaska. claims that the oldest joke is the one about the tailor who had an enormous apple made and placed in front of his store for a sign. A large crowd gather ed and wondered why the apple was used to advertise the tailoring business. One man asked the tailor the Isignifi- canoe of the apple. and the tailor re- piled: If it hadn't been for an apple. where would the clothing business be today?"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Peace and Quiet.

The editor was dying, and sigh came from his breast: .a.N l. Please bury me. my friends. where will find eternal rest. I long for peace and quiet, so, when have closed my eyes, Just plant me in some store in which they do not advertise"
 Luke McLuke. If this dead editor were put in this deserted place, 'Twould in al lproba blity be found to be the case That he'd find a lot in common with this lfeless merchant, who Upon investigation surely d prove to be dead, too.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Durn Fool.

No more do they speak; the engage
 ment is off, And at his explanations she's certain
 to scoff; They were arguing something, and he
 said to Grace; Why, the thing is as plain as the nose
 on your face!"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
ANOTHER ALASKA TREASURE
(New York Times)

Alaska has already returned many times the money which when paid for it, declared to have been much than wasted, and it discloses the possession of another treasure equaling, if not surpassing, in value those previously taken from frozen wilds by all the Wise Ones For platinum has been found there-platinum, the royal metal, to which gold bows in humidity and silver dares approach
 The extent of the discovery is not yet determ- ined but it is known to be large. and deposits are rich that the chemist whom the first sam. pies submitted for analysis didn't have the to report on them lest he be thought guilty of wild exaggeraton And the platinum now in sight is only beginning, the gold in California s rivers that caused the epochdang rush" of 49. The real mines back in the mountains, nobody knows just where There the serious exploitation will be done. but meanwhile the river sands will pay again Alaskas many times cancelled debt.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Good Stuff. Kids!

There isn't much poetry in the fol- lowing, but it was written by ten year-old orphan in the Cincinnati Or phan Asylum who wanted to tell Luke that even the orphans are doing their bit:
 Eleven little orphans, who love to romr
 and play, Knitted and knitted, and it took many
 a long day. Eleven little kids now too young tc
 slay, But they knitted eleven pairs of stock
 ngs For our American soldiers who are far
 away.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Why He Was Shocked.

The man was dressing to go to Church. A button came off his pants, so he put the button into his pants pocket along with the dime he was go- ing to drop into the collection plate.
 On his way home from Church the man happened to put his hand into his pants pocket, and he was terribly shocked
 He still had the button.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
SAYS TEN ACRES IS ENOUGH TO
 SUPPORT FAMILY

BILLINGS, Mont, Oct. 31.-Ten acres is enough to support family, according to Miss Hattie Johnson, who has tried it. She has divided her 10 acres as follows: Two acres for strawberries and raspberries two acres for wheat for chickens
 three acres for alfalfa for cattle, hogs and horses; one acre for corn tor chickens and hogs; one-half acre for vegetable garden; one-half acre for yards. Apple, plum and cherrie trees are planted in the chicken yards and about fields. Bees also may be kept at a profit, she says.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Flaw. Flaw!

Tt says here that red eyes are a sign that man ought to have glasses" said the Old Fogy.
 Oh. l don't know" replied the Crouch. Maybe it is a sign that he has had too many of them
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Patterson Lumber Co.,, White Bldg. Seattle. Wash.

TWO IN ONb-The EMPIRES ads" keeps the housewife informed of all sales and the news columns way for everybody. The EMPIRES are right up to the minute on the lAy's news.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Mercy !

A funny girl is Dolly Damn.
 She goes from bad to good; For first she orders deviled ham. And then eats angle food.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
A Reasonable Request.

While on an auto trip in New York Senator Aldrich saw this sign near Co., rinth:
 Dangerous Curve Ahead. Slow Down to 100 Miles An Hour!"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Brace Up!

When hard luck comes around to
 taunt Cheer up. and keep your nerve; Though you may not get what you
 want, You'll get what you deserve.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Nothing.

Nothings a queer thing" said Plover, And married bliss it will soon rout; Nothing is what wives cry over,
 And what married men fuss about"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Poor Old Paw.

Wilie-Paw?
 Paw-Yes, my son. What is it? Wilie-Could you say that marriage certificate is a writ of attachment? Paw-You get to bed, young man.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

When it comes throwing hand grenades, our American soldiers, training to handle baseball from infancy will make them all sit up.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

The end the strikes our war re- sources the Germany will strike the end of hers.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

Germanys reported intention to declare the American coast a zone causes no disquietude. It is already much of a zone as Germany feels able to make it.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

It is pretty tough when Wilhelm and the Sultan get down to point where they have to give each other decorations and honors go without-( (Indan apolis Star.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

MT Hoover is said to foresee lower food prices during the winter. Herbert is some seer.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

Germany developed such wonderful ability to substitute "somehing just good" for the genuine that she adopted substitute heart and sou-l (Pathfnder)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

It is not surprising that those pckets create offense around the White House Tickets will create fence around any house.-( (Pathfinder)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

The Kaiser has entered Sofia under trmphal arch erected in his honor It must be a poor subsi'- tue for entering Paris in like Philadelphia Ledger)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Our Daily Special.

Most of the New Women Are Old Ones Painted Over.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
The Byplay Minstrels.

Mister Interlocutor. you claim to be smart man. Now. if the President and the President of this country should die, who would take charger"
 Why, the Secretary of State, Of course, MT. Bones.''
 'Oh, no, he wouldn't. Mister Inter- locutor"
 Then who would take charge MT Bones?"
 The undertaken"
 As soon the surgeons have ad ministered ether to the unfortunate MT Bones. and the ushers have supplied the audience with ear muffs and gas masks, o. Buttit Paynes will render that pathetic ballad, Nellie's Legs Are Looking Bigger Since She Put Her Heavies On'"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

Retribution is rapidly overriding La Toilette him.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

Mayor Mitchell of New York City will be asked to appoint six police women.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
Huh !

Have you ever noticed the magnfi- cent diamonds Mrs Neurich wears on her fingers?" asked Cholly.
 T certainly have" replied Reggy. Every time l shake hands with her I feel that l have a fortune within my grasp"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

First on the list I'm quoting comes
 Plato. the leader of thought, Next comes Socrates. whose opinions
 were most sought; Then comes text book" Horace, the
 schoolboys castor oil. In company with Virgil that Latin
 scribe so loyal And. as the ages roll along comes
 Dante on this earth, Followed by Ben Franklin, who helped
 at this nations birth. Ana last comes Luke the Jolly. who
 wields the jecter's mace, He whose duibs. saws and sayings
 broaden the longest face.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31
BITS OF BY PLAY By Luke McLuke Copyright by Cincinnati En-
 Quirsr.

"V" The in Vnecked waists stands pat, Though chests are cold and blue; And l have an idea that The V must stand for View"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-10-31

IT is said that you should marry your opposite. 1 am convinced that did.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22
GERARD WIRES THAT
HE WILL COME WEST
To Speak at Farmers De-
Tense Club Picnic Sunday.

Helena, Aug. :i.--The big picnic to
be- held next Sunday by the Farmers
Defense club has sustained another
change in its program. 1t will be held
at the Broadwatcr grounds at Helena
instead Of on the Priest pass road.
The change was made because Of
the crowd that is expected to attend.
Messages from Butte. Anaconda.
Great Falls and other cities say that
n great crowd is coming to hear for
mcr Ambassador Gerard. 1t was de-
cided that there would not be room
enough at the Priest pass grounds to
accommodate the people. nor would
there be enough cars in Helena to con-
vey the crowd to the picnic grounds.
In a telegram this morning to the
Helena Commercial club. which is
working in conjunction with the farm
ers, Mr. Gerard definitely stated that
he would arrive in Helena Oh the
morning Of August Is.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22
Will Hold Celebration on
/. Bitter Root River Near
Crantsdale Labor Day.
STATE HEAD TO SPEAK
Six Lodges From Every Part
of Valley Will Attend
Outing This Year.

Stcvensvillc. Aug. 21.--(Special)-
The Odd Fellow lodges of the Bitter
Root valley will hold their second an :
nual picnic near the Grantsdale river
bridge OH Monday. September 3-La :
Dor day. Among the features on the
program will be an address by Grand
Master j. +. Parker Of Bozcman.
Other prominent members Of the order
will also be present. Those who at
tend will take picnic dinner in baskets.
Free coffee and ice cream will be
served
There are about $50 odd Fellows in
the valley. the membership being dis
tributcd among six lodges. one at
Carlton. Stcvensvillc. Victor. Corvallis.
Hamilton and Darby. within the past
two years the Darby. Corvallis. Victor
and Stcvensvillc lodges have built
halls for their use. The one at Ste
vensvillc was completed this summer.
and is a handsome two story brick
4ox10O feet in dimensions. with a
pressed brick front. The lower stor.
is occupied by the American theatcr
and the lodge hall. club rooms and
wotnen's rest room are upstairs. The
furniture for tho upstairs department
cost $4,000.
Tho Stevensville lodge, which meets
On Mondays. has voted to cancel the
meeting on Labor day in order tina,
all may attend the picnic at Grants
dale.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22
Federal Investigator Made
Visit Under Alias, Belief
There Now.
MAY YET BE IN CITY
Efforts to Locate Wilson's
Representative Have Been
Failures.

Butte. Aug. 21.--(Spccial.) - More
than a week ago 1t was announced
that Judge ]. Harry COvington Of the
District OF Columbia supreme court
was coming to Butte at the request Of
the president to make u personal IN
vcstigation of the labor troubles In
this section. Federal officials. mine Of
ficials ana labor men have been try
ing to locate him tn Butte, but with
out success. 1t IL stated Of good au-
thority that the judge has been in
Butte, even If he Is not here now. 1t is
said that he is travelling under an alias
wishing 10 get his information 1irst
hand and not from any interested or
Official source. Every day tor some
time past, telephone and personal calls
have been made at hotels where it was
thought he might be stopping, but Il
he has been stopping at any OF tnem'
clerks orc either ignorant Of his iden-
tity or have been posted to forget to
remember.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22
new HOTEL FOR
FLATHEAD LAKE
pALATiAL FERRY BOATS TO BE
CONSTRUCTED TO PLY eE.
TWEEN RAILROAD
TERMINATE.

That u thoroughly modern hotel will
soon be erected at one of the most
picturesque sites on Fiathead lake Is
the statement OF Col. a. \. White, who
states that the F1athcad Lake Hotel
company will be organized at once
with headquarters at Helena. Col.
White has made the announcement
that this concern will also build two of
the most palatial ferry boats in the
world to ply day and night between
the railway terminals at the north and
south ends OF the lake.
Col. White, who is now n years o
ago. has been spending his summers or
tIathcad lake for the past 33 years
and says that he hopes to live &c years
longer to see tho F1athead .lake do
vclop into one Of the greatest summer
resorts In tho world.-Adv.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22

Mother
Boy Comes Back After "a
Years in Search Of Her.

Great Falls. Aug. 1l.--searching
for his mother who he had not
seen since 1893. the year he was
born. Frank Krakow arrived in
Great Falls yesterday. According
to the story told by the youth. his
mother lived in this city at that
time.
During the year that he was
born. Barkow's father was killed
while working for the railroad.
His mother. he says. was unable
to support him so she relinquished
all claims to the youth. lie was
adopted by Mr.. and Mrs. Wynn
ccffin aud later was taken to Call
ifornia where he was raised.
Now he has come back to try
end find his mother. He says that
he will make every effort to locate
her.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-22
Two Corvallis Men Leave
for Second Training Camp

Corvallis. Aug. 2l.-(Special)-Dr
W. n. King. who volunteered for
service in the medical reserve corps
several weeks. ago. was summoned
Monday to Cheyenne, Wyo. Dr.. King
was summoned by dispatch. and moth
ing was mentioned in regard to the
extent Of his service. His bride will
remain here.
Frank Nj. Edes. one of the valleys
leading dairymcn, left Tuesday for
the officers training camp near San
Francisco. Mr.. Edcs is Il military
graduate and has been drum major of
the Corvallis band. Mrs Edes will re-
main at the Edcs and Jennings ranch
cast of town.