The Tomahawk., 1917-01-18
. We just been reading the romantic
story of Montague Barnes. who be-
gan life a Door boy with only one

gan life poor boy with only one
parent and two shoes and who had
Just taken his seat in congress IN firm.
resounding tones. It's all excessively
Interesting to me and would be. even
II any of the facts mentioned we're
true. For | know Monty Barnes: I've
known him for years-ever since the
time we sat In the literary society to-
gether at Siwash college and Monty
used to get up and make speeches with
q voice that sounded like a dried leaf
In q wash boiler.
remember Monty's first speech as
plainly as If ! had heard it. | can re-
peat It word for word. He said: "M-mr.
Ch-chairman, IL m-murn we ad-
toove" He was holding on to two
chairs when he made 1t. Told me
afterward that he stopped them as
they we're going around him and used
them as substitutes for knees. He was
the shyest man and the worst speaker
who ever got into the GnOthautii Lit
erary society. He had sat for year
before he dared make the above speech.
And 1t took him another year to- get
so fluent that he could address the So
ciety with the aid of only one chair.
/ remember how we used to look for
ward to the nights when Monty ran
the society. AS chairman he remind
ed me Of puny child trying to herd
wildcats. You could chase him into
the rafters with a point Of order and
paralyze him for whole evening with
an amendment to IN amendment.
Monty was so meek when we took
him in that he had to have n written
permission to sneeZe In chapel. | used
to watch him trying to arrange his
knees when he wanted to speak. You
know how important 1t Is that your
knees shall he in good voice when you
want to address n meeting. Time after
time he would get part way up with
few remarks balanced on the end of
his tongue and then his knees would
balk and insurge. and by the time he
had braced them up he had mislaid his
remarks and the meeting had surged
ness knows | wouldn't have gotten up
at that time for the world. | was worse
than he, but was resigned to it. |
remember. too. the night when Barnes
suddenly found himself sailing along
about one thousand miles above sea
level, riding his train Of thought and
feeding new thoughts into his mind
as fast as he emptied 1t. | can see
now the look Of ecstasy on his face
the look Of q man who has just diScOv
cred how to drive an airplane and ride
the gale on an even keel. From that
time on you couldn't head Barnes Off.
He became q society nuisance. He de-
bated and grated and remarked at
every meeting, and it was common
thing for some member to rise in the
middle of his eloquence and say.
d. mir. Chairman. think it is about
time to cap the gas WELL"
And now little Barnes is in congress.
law shingle. I'll bet he started politi
cal speaking before he got his sign
painted. and ri bet they couldn't stop
him, either. until he had said what he
wanted to. I'd like to have heard his
campaign. I'd like to have seen the
surprise of some of the tough old poll
ticians who rose up to smother him
with scorn and got banged on the head
with the unabridged dictionary. And
I'll bet congress doesn't worry him
either. He's had GnOthautii training,
Monty has. and no meaSly speaker is
going to head him Off when he has q
face full Of words.
That's what old Gnothautii did for
Monty. 1t did a lot for all of us. too.
There Is nothing in college that can
touch the literary society for teaching
man to get up and slam few choice.
hand picked sentiments into the other
fellow at minutes warning. Looking
back on those society nights cannot
feel surprised ut the large number of
awkward youngsters who afterward
went out and began bOssing congress
siOnal districts before they could raise
muStacheS. After man has spent a
few years baling up and delivering his
ideas in the face Of parliamentary OBJ
jectiOns. whOops. yellS. sarcasm and
sometimes luTflltuTe II lllIc luluss like
hypnotizing q welI-policed ward caucus
is only child's play for him. They were
so fatally critical In our society. YOn
could talk to it as long as you inter
ested 1t and no longer. And the mem.
bers were so pleasantly frank about
your little faults of speaking. You
didn't have to guess at those faults
oh. no. AT the end of the meeting the
critic got up and told the society about
them. He made his meaning perfectly
plain. We always took care to choose
a critic who had a good command of
language.
Literary society night was a great
feature at old Siwash. Friday and Sat.
urday nights we frivoled and on Sun
day nights we studied. Monday. Tues
days and Wednesdays we 6lled up in
various unholy ways. but on Thursday
nights we went to literary society. On
Thursday night chums separated.
brothers parted and enemies lined up
side nv side for half of us went to