davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
IM-SH00TS

A hell upon earth awaits the wife
Of the boy who is mean to his mother.
The pesslmist is the fellow who is
never happy unless someone else is
miserable.
Some children do not know what a
good fellow pa Is because they do not
visit barrooms.
Some fellows wait until the ice Is
pretty thick before casting their bread
upon the waters.
Love Is never as blind after mar
rage as in the days when he is max
ing sleeps eyes at her.
When laborers evince affection for
the boss it Is usually sign that they
are not working very hard.
At the end of the honeymoon the
bride realizes that peaches and lemons
look very much alike on the tree.
It's a wise child that knows It's
grandmother when the old lady gets
on a sport suit and pair of white
shoes these days.
They call IL wooden wedding be
cause it takes the average woman
about five years to learn that she has
married a blockhead.
The fellow who butts into a quarrel
between msa and wife may not look
so handsome at the finish, but he viii
be g better judge of human nature
Chicago Examiner.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

The first great problem confronting
the new congress of the United States
is the Organization OF the house.
There is Scid to be a difference of one
vote between the two great parties,
and it is supposed that in case of
party vote half dozen more or less
independent members may turn the
balance. Many patriots suggest that
the party lines be ignored in the inter
est Of the common veal of the nation
as a whole. In this connection it is
interesting that an attempt at
coalition has just been made In Nor
way. The conservative members OF the
storthing made formal proposition
TO the Liberals. who are In power, TO
drop some of the Liberal members of
the cabinet and put Conservatives in
their places. The arguments used by
the Conservatives were that an omni-
partisan cabinet would be more eff
Gent, and that il would enjoy greater
confidence among the people at large.
The Liberals held caucus and formu-
lated an answer to the effect that IL
would be safest for the country to LET
the present cabinet remain undis-
turbed.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
YES! LIFT A CORN
OFF WITHOUT PAIN!
Cincinnati man tells how 10 dry
UP a corn or eaIlus so II lifts
off with fingers.

You corn pestered men and women
need suffer no longer. Wear the shoes
that nearly killed you before, says this
Cincinnati authority, because a few
drops of freezone applied directly on a
tender, aching corn or callus, stops
soreness at once and soon the corn or
hardened callus loosens so 1t can be
lifted off. root and all, without pain.
small bottle OF freezOne costs very
little at any drug store, but will posi-
lively take off every hard or soft corn
or callus. This should be tried, as it
is inexpensive and is said. not to irri-
tate the surrounding skin.
If your druggist hasn't any freezone
tell him to get small bottle for you
from his wholesale drug house.-adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
To Prevent Old Age
Coming Too Soon !

Toxic poisons in the blood are thrown
out by the kidneys. The kidneys act as
filters for such products. If we wish to
prevent old age coming too soon and in
crease our chances for a long life, we
should drink plenty Of pure water and
take a little Anuric," says the world
famed DR.. Pierce of Buffalo, n. Y.
When suffering from backache, fire.
quent or scanty urine, rheumatic pains
here or there, or that constant tired.
WORKOUT feeling, the simple way to
overcome these disorders is merely TO
obtain a little Anuric (double strength)
from your nearest druggist and you viii
quickly notice the grand results. You
will find it many times more potent
than lithia. end that it dissolyes uric
acid as hot water does sugar,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
Stronq Convictions.

Il don't believe in war;" remarked
Broncho Bob.
Neither do l." replied Three Finger
Sam. "And / also don't believe in
hoss-stealin' therefore bein' willin' to
get out with a fire-arm an discourage
anybody who tries to induce the Gus
tom"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
An Empty Dream.

II hear Dubson is thinking of mar
rying an heiress."
Eyes. Dubson began TO think OF
marrying an heiress about twenty
years ago and shouldn't be at all sur
prised if that were his last conscious
thought"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
NORWAY.

Indications of renewed tension be-
tween Norway and Germany are APP
pearing in the German newspapers.
The Cologne Gazette makes a feature
of an editorial headed Norwegian In
science" in which ii says: THE press
Of Norway in these days has assumed
q tone of an insulting character which
Germany cannot tolerate. The Nor
wegians would do well TO remember
that their unbridled press campaign
once before led to diplomatic tension.
A sense Of responsibility should have
kept the papers from again singing the
same tune"
It is probable that the neutrality
markings on Norwegian vessels soon
will be removed. 1t is pointed out
that these markings, witch have been
painted on the sides Of the ships dur
ing the war, not only do not any long
er protect neutral ships, but make
them an easy prey for submarines.
In proportion to its population, Nor
way is the greatest seafaring nation
In the world On January /, 1916, its
mercantile marine consisted Of 3.4S6
vessels. with a tonnage of 2,75s,397, or
an average Of more than one ton for
each inhahitant, and practically the
whole feet is owned by Norwegian
citizens.
The city council of f'redrikshald vot-
ed unanimously 10 distribute S2.700
among the poor people of the city in
order that they might be able 10 buy
fuel for keeping their houses warm.
The historic castle Of Ostraat. near
Trondhjem, was destroyed by me last
year. Most Of the walls are stiI stand
Ing and men who are Interested In the
preservation Of the historic monu-
ments Of the country are advocating
the restoration 81 the old medieval
building. The ruins will be irrepara-
FIy damaged unless they are inclosed
before next winter
During the year 1916 the deposit.
Of the savings banks OF ChiistlaHia In-
creased from about SlO0O0O.OOO to
.hont SI32OO0 90.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
Easoinatlon al the Unknown.

MY dear, l had the most thrilling
moment Of my life list night at res
taurant. The electric lights went out
Unexpectedly and he kissed me-a long
delirious kiss"
"Who didg"
"Who2 don't know who7 That is
why it was SO thrilling"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Practically indestructible steel ship
ping cases have been invented that
can be folded fiat when empty and
used indefinitely.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
SKIN TORTURED BABIES
Sleep, Mothers Rest After Treatment
With Cutieura-TriaI Free.

Send today for free samples Of Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment and learn how
quickly they relieve itching, burning
skin troubles, and point TO speedy heal
ment Of baby rashes. eczema and itch
ings Having cleared heby's skin keep
1t clear by using Cuticuro exclusively.
Free sample each By mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold eyerywhere.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Chiefly intended for garages Is a
recently invented door that is made
in three sections and slides around a
corner of building on a track.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
SWAMP ROOT STOPS
SERIOUS BACKACHE

When your hack aches, and your blad-
der and kidneys seem 10 be disordered. re-
member it is needless 10 suffer--go 70 your
nearest drug store and get a bottle of DIR.
kilmer's swamp Root. 1t is a physicians
prescription for diseases Of the kidneys
and bladder.
1t has stood the test Of years and has
a reputation for quickly and effectively
giving results in thousands Of cases.
This prescription was used by DIR. XII.
mer ii his private practice and was so
very effective that it has been placed on
sale everywhere Get a bottle, SOC and
Sl.00, at your nearest druggist.
However, il you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents TO DIR.
kilmer & Co, Birghamton. N. y, for a
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
How He Got II.
Gle has a new car,
Yes. He mortgaged his last bushel
OF potatoes TO get II, too"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
Those child Actresses.

Gloomy What's the matter
ths morning. Albert1
Gloomier Mannger-Baby Briggs is
getting married and the show is
queered.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
"CASCARETS' FOR
LIVER, BOWELS
For sick headache, bad breath,
Sour Stomach and
constipation.
Get a 1o.cent box now.

No odds how bad your liver. stomach
or bowels; how much your head
aches, how miserable and uncomfort-
able you are from constipation, indiges-
ton. biliousness and sluggish bowels
you always get the desired results
with Cascarets.
Don't let your stomach, liver and
bowels make you miserable. Take
Cascarats tonight: put an end to the
headache. biliousness, dizziness, nerv-
BUSINESS, sick, sour. gassy stomach,
backache and all other distress:
cleanse your inside organs of all the
bile, gases and constipated matter
which is producing the misery.
A 10-cent box means health. happi-
ness and clear head for months.
No more days of gloom and distress
if you will take a Cascaret now and
then. All stores sell Cascarets. Don't
forget the children-their little In
sides need cleansing too. Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
lie YOU CAN

Invest S25 cash and a few dollars monthly,
you can become associated with company
that should return big profits. You will Teeog-
nize the truth of this statement when il is pre-
scented to you. This is not oil. mining or q
scheme. Your banker or lawyer can o. K. our
business. Address P. o. BOX SIS. Pittsburgh. Pa.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Christiania was 292 years ago known
as Oslo. which. for the GOO years pre-
ceding, was the capital of Norway.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
NEW THINGS UNDER THE SUN

An experimental plant that obtains
power from the ebb and flow of the
North sea tides has been built at Ham
burg.
By a government test in Germany
sound lumber that is 25 years old has
oeen proved materially stronger than
new stock.
An English farm is devoted exclu-
sively to raising butterflies, of which
more than 10000 are sold annually.
Efforts are being made to increase
the tobacco industry in Ireland. which
has soil that is said to be suitable for
almost all varieties of leaf.
A novelty In the monograph line
certain selected ones or one num-
Der of times, without attention after
t is started.
The tread of an automobile tire In
tented by an Englishman is made OF
small pieces of steel, so set into the
rubber that the latter does not touch
he ground.
A tool that unrolls roll of paper
and spreads 1t with paste as it is
passed over a wall has been invented
to enable amateurs to do their own
paperhanging.
To keep railroad tracks clear OF
weeds and brush, South Dakota man
has invented a moving machine, OPP
Grated by a gasoline engine, to be
mounted on a handcar.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

As late as the Goth of February the
lakes and canals of Telemarken were
navigated by steamers. But the cap
tains reported that in some places the
ice was almost a foot thick in the
channels through the sheet of ice. and
that these channels themselves were
getting dangerously narrow. One
steamer knocked off the blades of It's
propeller in the ice so that it had to
be towed out of the channel by anoth-
er steamer.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Sitting Bull was killed near Grand
River, n. D., December 10. 1890.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
Natural Result.

How did Dudley happen TO fail In
debit"
"He lost his balance at the bank"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Now IL the Time to Get Rid Of These
IRiy spots.

Now IL the Time to Get Rid Of These
Ugiy spots.
There's no longer the slightest need Of
feeling ashamed OF your freck.7s, as the
prescription othins double Strength -- Is
guaranteed 20 remove these homely spots.
Simply get an ounce Of othin0--doubls
strsngth-from your druggist. ana apply
little OF IL night and morning ana you
should soon see that even the worst 'reckles
have begun TO disappear. while tb~ Inter
ones have vanished entirely. II il .eldom
that more than ons ounce 10 needed 70 com
pietely clear the skin and gain a beautiful
clear complexion
Be sure TO ask for the double strength
othine as this 10 sold under guars 4tee Of
money back Il Il fails TO remove frecklea--
Adv
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Some young men propose TO n rich
girl on their knees and some on their
uppeys.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

War among her neighbors has
brought such wealth TO Denmark that
the number Of millionaires in that little
kingdom was increased last year by
$50.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY ACRES OF
LAND FREE AS A HOMESTEAD

and allow time of Iaborer who has filed the
apply residence duties the if he actually had lived
This special concession the reduction of the time
complete duties Two residence instead of three heretofore
only working the farms for at least months 1917
This appeal for farm help is connected with enlistment
military solely agricultural won
deu opportunity farm and draw good wages the
Canadian Government will pay all fare per
mile from St Paul Duluth to Canadian destination Information
low railway rates may be had on application to
C Marquette
Canadian Covenm gents
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
SOME OBSERVATIONS

An ounce of keep-your-mouth
shut is better than a pound Of
sorry-you-spoke.
IF women could retain their
beauty forever the sex would
not care so much for brains.
Down deep In the heart of
every so-called woman hater
there is a longing to have some
woman pet him.
A woman writer says that mis-
chief causes dimples. The ma
jority of men are under the i'm
preston that dimples cause mis-
chief.
When you meet a famous man
you usually wonder why he is
so careless of his reputation as
to go about letting people meet
him.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

That the French language Is more
suitable for telephoning than English
has been proved since London. and
Paris were linked by telephones.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Abe Mckinney has been 50 yenrs a
servant in birmingham (Ala.) fam
ily, and still Is on the Job.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

One seldom has the price Of man
who Ia worth buying
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

A fine brick road now connects
Tampa and st. Petersburg.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Woman police for South Africa are
recommended by an authority on law
and order ito meet social problems of
present day." as brought about by the
war.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

AS a result of the special one-cent
assessment to organize women, approx
imately 10000 woman workers have
Joined the trade-union movement
within a year.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Considerable quantities of fine fruit
is raised in the deep valleys of western
Norway. But 1t is poorly prepared for
the market, so that fruit growing Is not
very profitable. Now the fruit grow
ers are urged to pick and pack up
their products in better shape, and
they may be sure OF handsome returns.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

By a government test in Germany
sound lumber that is 25 years old has
oeen proved materially stronger than
new stock.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

An English farm is devoted exclu-
sively to raising butterflies, of which
more than 10000 are sold annually.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

An experimental plant that obtains
power from the ebb and flow of the
North sea tides has been built at Ham
burg.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

good mans light shines day and
night.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

He who runs may read his cp-
ponent's inaugural address.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

The pension insurance fund now
amounts to about S20Ge0 900. The
number Of persons insIred is 3,430,
on. Of whom fO9,379 receive aid. The
expenses for last year were about
100000.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

During the year 1916 the deposit.
Of the savings banks OF ChristiaHia ia
creased from about SlO0.OOO.OO0 to
about SI32OO0.000.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Efforts are being made to increase
the tobacco industry in Ireland, which
has soil that is said to be suitable for
almost all varieties of leaf.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11
BITS or INFORMATION
Mexico has 1900 miles of railway

In Norway books are said to be most
favored as gifts.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

A habit may be good or bad accord
ing to whether you rule it or it rules
YOU
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1917-04-11

Though the American eagle is IA
tough old bird, there is Legal tender
ness about its portrait on a silver dol
lar.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1917-03-29
Sanborn People Praise
Choir Of St. GATHERINGS

Sanborn people speak enthusiastic-
ally of the performance given there St.
Patrick's Day by the members of the
Catholic choir Of st. GATHERINGS
church in Valley City. They repeated
under the direction Of Mrs. w. T.
Craswell, the comic opera, "The
Bo'n's Bride" which was given here
with such success few weeks ago. AL
though the trains from the east were
abandoned last Saturday owing to the
severe snow storm in Minnesota, that
did not prevent the troupe from
keeping their engagement in Sanborn
When it was ascertained for certain
that the trains would not run the
dauntless young people of the cast en-
gagged two big bob sleighs and with
four horses attached took the ride
overland through the snow and ice.
They arrived after a jolly and hilar-
ious ride in good time for the enter
tainment and in good voice, notwith-
standing the singing and yells given
en- route. No. 2 was persuaded to
stop in Sanborn, so they made the re-
turn trip by rail. Mrs. Craswell and
the cast deserve great credit for the
artistic rendition of this comic opera.
1t was one of the best of the kind ever
given here and Valley City has had
lot Of comic operas given in her day.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1917-03-29
Masons Making Great
Plans for Easter Ball

Among the social events to which
the residents Of the city look forward
with pleasure is the Mas sonic ball. The
local lodge will give it's fifth annual
ball Easter Monday. The various
committees are busy completing the
arrangements to make this one the
best Of their many successful affairs.
It was generally conceded that the
Armory last year never was so BEAU
tifully decorated. The decorating
committee assure us they have more
elaborate plans than ever before and
the hall will be a bower of beauty.
Herman Stern is again chairman of
the executive committee, which is suf-
icient assurance of the success of the
affair. J. E. Jones, worshipful master
Of Valley City Lodge No. 7, is de-
sirous that all Masonic brethren,
whether members of the local lodge
Or not, have the privilege of purchas-
ing ticket which not only entities
himself and lady to attend, but gives
him the opportunity of inviting a
guest who is not Mason. The com.
mittee is anxious that the names of
all guests be handed to Mr.. Jones at
once in order that Implications may
be avoided.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1917-03-29
Board Of Regents Say
Frazier Lost Powers

Bismarck, March 21.-Has Governor
Frazier, with all of his numerous ex-
pert advisors, permitted himself to be
placed in a Jackpot which will pre-
vent his naming single member on
the state board of regents during the
present biennial period?
Frank White, of Valley City, who
himself did good job of governing
few years ago, contends the governor
has, and so do the legal representa-
tives of the present board.
when Mr.. Frazier's first nominal
tions were rejected by the senate, 1t
became his duty under the laws of our
state to submit another list for the ap.
proval Of the senate" stated Mr.. White
today. This he failed to do. Instead,
he three times messaged to the senate
his original slate of five members for
the board, and three times the senate
rejected these nominations"
1t is not the sentiment Of the pres
ent board of regents that the senates
reflections of Governor Frazier's NOM
iH1tiols reefcts in any way upon the
cailble of the men themselves. They
contend the senate rejected the no-.i-
nations for the one and simple rea-
son that the governor had no right to
nominate more than two members at
the time, as, under the law creating
the state board of regents, only two
vacancies existed. The governor, state
the present board members, did not
take advantage of his opportunity to
name two members, to succeed Emil
Scow, Of Bowman, and J. A. Power, Of
Leonard, whose terms would have ex-
PRED this year had successors been
nominated, confirmed and otherwise
qualified and as a result, the old board
claims, the chief executive, unless the
supreme court should rule the entire
five out Of office, must be content for
the next two years with the present
personnel.
There is one shred of consolation
for the governor. If he is still gov
ernor in 1919, and if, as league men,
bers have claimed, they should have
full control of both houses, there
should be no question of the COVER
nors ability then to name majority
of the board, as some more terms will
have expired. In the meantime, con-
troll of the states most important edu-
cational institutions would continue
to rest in the hands of men not over.
friendly to his excellency.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1917-03-29
Old Board Of Education
Holds Its Closing Session

Bismarck, March 21.-The last meet
ing of the present state board Of edu-
cation was in session in the state super.
intendent Of public Instructions office
yesterday afternoon. There were in
attendance Pres. McVey Of the uni
versity, Pres. Mcfarland, Of the Valley
City Normal, Miss Minnie J. Nelson,
superintendent of schools in Barnes
county; N. C. Macdonald, state super
Edward Erickson, state SUI
pervisor Of rural and graded consoll-
dated schools; DR.. E. F. Ladd, presi-
dent of the Agricultural college; H.
NJ. Taber of jamestown, state high
school Inspector
When the new board organizes in
April, Superintendent Gazette of the
Ransom county schools will succeed
Miss Nelson; President Smith of Bot
tineau forestry will succeed President
Black Of Ellendale; President Crane
Of Minot normal will succeed Presi-
dent Mcfarland of Valley City, and
DR.. Whittemore Of Bowman will re-
place H. M. Taber of Jamestown as
the lay member Of the board.