davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
TT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS

From the Washington Star.
 Joseph H. Choate said, at luncheon in New York:
 'cWhen the Germans talk about pro- tecting little nations, freeing the seas and championing international law, it sounds so ridiculous that it reminds me of the tramp.
 Lady said a tramp to a farmer s wife, could you oblige me with the loan of a cake of soap?
 ''The farmers wife threw up her hands.
 Soap! she said. Do you mean to tell me you desire soap?'
 "'Yas'm,' said the tramp. Me part ner's got the hiccoughs and I want to scare him. '
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
Canned Goods In
Increasing Dennam(

Increasing Demand 1ERUITS and vegetables preserved U in "tins" have increased in popu- lar favor in recent years. Time was when the average travelling man or lunch-counter patron baked at canned goods. He ate beans, corn, tomatoes, okra and fruit out of season under protest.
 It is different now. The art of canning, like other arts, has pro- gressed. If canned vegetables did not taste fresh in other days it was be- cause the preserving process was im- perfect. The chemical laboratory has introduced the canning industry to better methods.
 Canned asparagus is not only as natural" as the fresh, but in most cases it is better. Corn, tomatoes and okra canned are greatly esteemed to- day. The baked bean is relished as it never was before. It is all because what is canned is canned according to science.
 The south should be one of the greatest canning sections of the coun- try, and Alabama should be well to the front. Let no one longer say aught against canned vegetables. We cannot have too many canneries.
 A. St. Louis bride committed suicide because her husband said he was going to sell his automobile. Just shows what the possession of car means to some people.
 So far not enough money has been col lected at the Billy Sunday meetings in New York to pay expenses. Maybe there is too much competition on Broadway The Chicago tailor who shot himself because his wife wouldn't give him a dime to buy 8 drink seems to have had an idea that he was spiting somebody. * x Time was when an actress created something of sensation by wearing male attire, but that was long before war did away with so many skirts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

stroyers and airplanes would respond and the submarine would either be destroyed or forced to retreat.
 German scientists immediately set to work to make the U-boats noiseless. If they have succeeded, the British detector is useless and the problem confronting American inventors be- comes more difficult. The Germans are also using larger and more for midable submarines.
 It is evident that the elimination of U-boats will call for profound in- genuity and will not be accomplished until Americans have won in battle of wits.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
Strong Republican
 Leader In His Day

OHN B. FORAKER, twice elected 0 governor of Ohio and twice
 United States senator, died yesterday
 at the age of seventy after a long
 illness. He was stanch republican and during his first term as governor became a national figure because of his violent language whenever he re- ferred to the democratic party.
 His tirades against President Cleve- land lost him many personal friends and his extremely bitter attacks on the south made him the most disliked republican in all this section. He gained the soubriquet of "Fire- cracker" for whenever the south was mentioned in his presence he ex- ploded. His wrath was unrestrained. But Foraker was not vitriolic in his feeling as his public utterances would lead his opponents to think. At any rate, he outgrew his bad temper and came to be one of the most popular men in national life with both parties.
 It was said his attitude toward the south changed as result of his con- tact with Gen. Fitzhugh Lee while the latter was governor of Virginia. The Confederate soldiers genial disposi-' tion and fraternal spirit manifested while he was the guest of Cincin- nati at large celebration in that city. General Lee received an ova- tion. In his address at Music hall he was in great form. He told some of his funniest stories. Foraker, who presided, laughed heartily, and from that time on the Ohio statesman, who had been regarded as a south hater, had only friendly words for the south. Fitzhugh Lee, by his bonhomie, wrought the change. It was so marked as to be regarded as a na- tional incident.
 While in the Senate John B. Foraker was a republican of conservatism and constructive force. Always true to his party, he was quick to support any democratic measure that turned on the question of patriotism. And he was among the foremost men in the Senate to aid in closing the old bloody chasm left from the civil war. He was a devoted friend of General Wheeler and no one on the democratic side of the chamber was more at home with democrats than J. B. Foraker. His death will be sincerely regretted by all who knew him after his heart had softened and his better nature asserted itself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

The reason why girl isn't afraid to climb a fence is because she would be if she wasn't lucky enough to be built the way she is.
 Many a man denounces the robber trust because he can't get 8 job helping the robber trust to do the robbing.
 A man who has hard time getting along with only one wife gets the idea that the wisdom of Solomon was all bunk.
 A woman wouldn't want something she hasn't got only some other woman has it.
 It makes woman worry twice as much when she discovers that the things that worry her are not worth worrying about.
 The reason why the man who has dim- ples in his cheeks wouldn't give a dime for them is because a girl who hasn't any would give almost anything to have them.
 A couple of 12-cyinder enemies can keep a man hustling when a hundred two cylinder friends can't.
 Question any successful man and you will. learn that his success was due to his Jood judgment. A-man can be good looking and still be fit to associate with. But if he ever gets the idea into his head that he is hand some-good night! What has become of the old-fashioned man who used to break the bank at Monte Carlo? Folks are a whole lot alike in this world. Point out one mans faults and you will hit 10000 men. Before you get her everything wrong she does is right. After you get her. everything right she does is wrong. A strong minded woman wants things fixed so that when the woman is the of tended party she can get divorce fol g This isn't a bad idea. Two dollars is about all a married woman could hold out of her household expenses without exciting suspicion. boy baby is almost as contrary as 6 married man. You'll notice that a bo, baby always wants to eat his bread witt his spoon and eat his molasses with his fingers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
pER1Ls OF AIR FIGHTING

William G. Shepherd, in Everybody's.
 The long, hard road along which the nations in Europe have struggled in learning aerial warfare is not pleasant to view.
 It is a feverish and bloody process that has been made in flying in Europe. In the laboratory of aerial warfare, dur ing the last 8 months, human lives have been spent in experiments like the lives of animals on the vivisectionIsts table ! but thousands of airmen, testing every new idea, and hundreds of aerial en1 gineers and, scientists, madly struggling in their laboratories, have achieved progress that not hundred years of peace could have brought about.
 While in peace times we find one Pegoud who shocks the world by taking his life in his hand to prove that an aeroplane can fly upside down, there have been hundreds of grim men in Europe since the war began who have lost their lives In showing how aerial warfare ought not to be conducted.
 No one, for instance, knows how many lives have been lost, on all sides. in prov ing that the monoplane was not practi- cable. In England one day. early in tho war, two young men of fine families went up in monoplane to test its value as a machine for observation purposes They fell, and both were killed. The next day two young men were sent up to try to find out whether or not the accident of the day before was due to inherent dangers in the one-winged twpe of aeroA plane. They too fell. and both werS killed Wherefore the monoplane wagl wiped off the British books No army uses monoplanes today.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
Newspaper Boys Enlist t'''

Birmingham will be missing her old heads in the newspaper game if they continue to enlist in the various branches of the service as fast as they have been doing" stated Capt. James R. McGregor.
 Leon Bradley, Dan Rubin, Tom Sher man, Pete Marzoni and Reuben Lewis of the local press; V. V. Evans of the Inter- national News Service. and W. J. Robertson of the Associated Press are all in line for the training camp at Fort McPherson, and at this rate we railroad men will have to show some form or the newspaper boys will have the edge on us. periodically speaking.
 1T think the newspaper boys have the stuff in them, and if they are as ener- getic in getting to Kaiser Bill as they are in getting next to a new railroad rate, or the arrival of a railroad of ficial in Birmingham, the German war lord had better begin to frame up his peace terms right now"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
IMPUDENT REPLY

From Everybody's Magazine.
 The beginner gazed wrathfully at the caddie for a moment Look here," he said, Pm tired of you laughing at my game. If hear any more of your im- pudenceI'll crack you over the head.55 pudence I'll crack you over the head" away; but I'll bet yer don't know what's the right club to do 1t with"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
In the Food ca mpaign

Tn none of the talks that I heard by the so-called experts who were conduct ing food conference in Georgia did I hear such advice given to the business men in the towns and cities Of the state as seems to, me to be necessary to tho success of the food campaign" said Col. N. F. Thompson. T recently attended three widely advertised conferences, at Savannah. Macon and Augusta, at each of which extended addresses were made by experts as they were termed, them. nor was the fact brought out as it should be that the success of this food campaign throughout the south is as much in the hands of the business men, if not more so, as it is in the hands of the farmers. There has been permitted to grow up and fasten itself tenaciously on both classes, the business men and the farmers alike, a spirit of mutual dis trust, based on the experience of each in their dealings one with the other.
 Farmers have raised a surplus of farm products and shipped them to jobbers and wholesale produce dealers in our cities, only to lose their just returns, as they believed, while jobbers and wholesale dealers have contracted with farmers only to have ther contracts broken both in terms and quality of product furnished, | until many of these say they prefer to have no dealings whatever with the farm CTS, While the farmers say, We will not raise stuff to be swindled out of it.
 T speak from positive knowledge and declare that this is not a theory, but an actual condition more or less wide spread over the south. It is to this con-
 dition that efforts need most to be di-
 rected at this time. If the south Is to 1 feed itself as every interest demands
 should be done, efforts must first be put
 forth to establish better relations between
 the farmers and our business men. New
 trade connections must be made all over the south, and these connections cannot
 be made successfully until state of
 mutual confidence and respect is estab-
 ished between the farmers and the busi- ness men with whom they must deal, and
 vice versa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
UP TO US

UP TO US We've got to get the U-boats, We've got to get 'em soon; American inventors
 Have no more time to moon. An anxious world is waiting To hear what they have done. Will allied ships keep sinking, Or will the U-boats run? The Kaiser's smiling grimly, His war lords do the same; They have the nerve and sinew And boldly play the game. But all their proud defiance May prove of no avail; Humanity is with us We can't afford to fail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

From the Youths Companion.
 The sergeant and the lieutenant were conversing about the new recruit.
 "'Es thin as a ramrod and e don't even look strong enough to 'elp in the store" complained the sergeant.
 Let him clean the rifies,'' suggested the lieutenant.
 And 'oo's a-goin' to pull i'm through?" parked the sergeant, defiantly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

BEGINNING THE DAY-My God. how swift are the years! They wheel by asy fn the night and are gone. The morning is spent and noon here and evening approach fng-and what have dOnef Oh, the dead days, the lost months, the wasted yearsI God help me, for the night comes on, Amen.--H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
To Stop Bad Egg Traffic

"A number of egg shippers in Kan sas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and the Panhandle section of Texas have been cited to appear before the bureau of chemistry, United States department of agriculture, to show cause why they are not guilty of violating the food and drugs act by shipping in interstate com- merce, cases of eggs containing large numbers of rots and spots, said A. D. Long of Waco.
 "The food and drugs act prohibits the interstate shipment of bad eggs, which are held to be adulterated food. This action follows Investigations made dur ing 1916 at Denver, Colorado Springs, Pueblo and Trinidad, Col. After hearing the department will. take such action as is warranted by the facts in each case. The department also Is notifying egg shippers in this territory to candle all eggs before shipment in interstate com merce, and is announcing that it will be glad to send them information on can ding to enable them to comply with the federal law.
 This may put stop to the selling of bad eggs, which are often sold in the south, at times the housewife getting as high as three or four out of dozen that are beyond use.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
STRONG INDICTMENT

T understand a large number of for mer pacfists are now enlisting."~
 I'm not surprised" said the patriotic citizen. eff anybody talked about me the way the pacifists have been talked to fight"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
A FAILURE CONFESSED

A FAILURE CONFESSED You said would never want for any, thing if I married you," she pouted. Quite true, my dear. My idea was to cure you of wanting things, but I haven't succeeded"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
TEnree-Course Meals
for St. Louis

M7 OTHING will demoralize the 4 N business of the country more quickly than hoarding money. In but one respect are the American people urged to practice strict economy, and that is in foodstuffs. Conservation of food is vitally important, not only be- cause America will have some diff culty in feeding herself, but because she is also expected to help feed a large part of the world, now at war. Buy clothes, shoes, hats and spend money in other ways for necessities and amusements, but keep close watch on the larder.
 St. Louis women have started a three-course dinner campaign. Thou sands of blanks have been sent to housewives asking them to pledge their support in husbanding food sup plies. They are requested to observe the following restrictions:
 ''There shall not be served, even when guests are present, more than three courses at any meal.
 "All waste in the kitchen shall be eliminated.
 @There shall be one meatless day a week.
 "The consumption of food shall be limited in every reasonable way.
 "These restrictions shall hold good during the period of the war"
 The idea is not so much to lay down fixed rules governing the quantity of food any individual or family shall eat, but merely to impress on the public the importance of curtailing the wastefulness which has become a national sin. It will not be necessary for any of us to eat less than former ly. But the enormous quantity of food thrown away, which has made the American garbage can the wonder of the world, must be conserved.
 If a three-course dinner serves the purpose, then eat a three-course din ner. The lunch counter patron usually subsists on one-course meals anc shows no ill effects.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

PUTTING ON AIRS Hes pedantic, you say?" "Yes. Merely because he happens to have a successful onion patch, he calls himself an agronomist''
 NEXT BEST T didn't raise my boy to be a soldier" mother said, who feared he'd suffer
 harm; Then added, while the populace ap-
 plauded, 'I'll make him do his bit. though, on
 the farm.'
 THE MODERN KIND Tn the old days an alchemist was sup posed to transmute the baser metals into gold"
 That's true" DO we have any alchemists nowa- days?"
 "oh, yes. One lives just around the corner from me-" You're Joking" No, I'm not. He's trying to find a sr bstitute for gasoline
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
AROUND THE WEATHER MAI

AROUND THE WEATHER MAP Water iced with silvers Gracious, hear it blow; House chock full of shivers- Gas is burning low. Cook in kitchen grumbling, Wife in distress; Frozen pipes are rumbling- Nice old season, yes?
 Cleveland Plain Dealer. Comes the gentle shower, Aprils here again, Here and there a flower Brought out by the rain, Signs of spring are dawning, Roads are quite a. mess. Gee! We feel like yawningl Nice spring fever, yes2
 -Yonkers Statesman. Just as you've been saying, Cold and rain are here, Planted beans decaying, Garden out of gear. Seeds that cost real money, Lost-we must confess, And it's not so funny. Nice spring garden, yes?
 -RGOIld JOuIIldl. Just as we were wishin' For a line to hold Wet rain comes a-swishin' And the air turns cold; Worms and lines and sinkers Frozen in a mess! Crates all full of clinkersi Nice spring fishing. yes?
 < Houston Post. Just when we were planning For a woodland stroll, Where sweet buds and blossoms Would delight our soul. Wow! wintry flareback Caused acute distres; May seemed like December Nice spring weather, yes?
 HER LAST CHANGE 'Is Miss sereleaf still on the carpetr' ''Yes." T don't suppose she has much chance to get married now?" Possibly not, but she's going to be a Red Cross nurse and some wounded sosa dier may propose to her while he's de- lirious.'' PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
Every Man Joins Co1ors

There is little village, the name of which is DeL;sle, few miles out from Gulfport, Miss.,' said B. c. Cox.
 There were 15 young men in this vil- lage eligible for military duty, and every one of them has already joined the col ors, and I think that this is record.
 T have been reading about examples in other parts of the United States in Golfers and other magazines, but have yet to see where evers available man from any one place has joined and been accepted.
 My home paper commented on this at length. and gave the names of the men.
 This little Mississippi town has given a demonstration of patriotism that can not be excelled.
 An of these people are of French de- scent. That neighborhood was settled up by the French some 200 years ago, and all of them speak French up to this day. Of course, they speak English, but the prevailing language among them selves is French
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
Germans Claim to Have

Germans Claim to Have
 a" "Noiseless' Submarine 1T T is foolish to imagine that the Ger 4 mans are going to let their in- ventive genius lie fallow while Amer ican inventors are trying to solve the submarine problem. We should not let our sanguine temperament delude us into thinking that the Germans will be unable to match our devices with others perhaps equally effective. If the U-boats are to be put out of busi- ness the work must be done quickly and before the Germans have mas tered our invention, whatever it may be. Just as soon as they see what we are trying to do they will set to work to overcome this new obstacle to the submarine campaign.
 It is reported from Washington that the Germans have perfected a "silent" U-boat, which can steal upon a ship without giving the slightest warming of it's approach. The Britons invented early in the war submarine detector which, while not entirely sat- isfactory, would indicate when sub marine was within radius of ten miles. It did not, however, always show in which direction the vessel was moving.
 Nevertheless, as soon as the pres ence of a U-boat was detected by the sound of it's propellers ship could send out wireless signals for help. De-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
ABOUT TO BE TAKEN

Do you think the time is coming when the government will commander all pri- vateIy owned automobiles?"
 T don't know" replied the melancholy motorist, "but if the government wants to beat the sheriff to mine, it will have to hurry"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
HOTEL LOBBIES
Sketch of John L. Raul

The current issue of Sixty-One-One, the monthly magazine devoted to the inter- ests of the employees of the First Na- tional bank of Birmingham, contains an excellent biography of John L. Kaul, one of the First Nationals directors" said H. S. Ryall.
 According to the sketch Mir Raul was born in the state of Pennsylvania nearly 5l years ago, that important event occur ring in the month of october and the town of St. Mary's claiming the distinc- ton.
 His father, Andrew Kaul was one of the foremost citizens of Pennsylvania and identified as an executive of lumber com panies, coal, water and gas corporations and director in innumerahle commercial enterprises.
 MT. Kaul was educated at Rock Hill college, Baltimore After graduation he entered business in one Of the corpora lions controlled by his father. In 1885, he came to Alabama and purchased an in test In the Sample Lumber company at Rollins, which was the beginning of the Vast enterprises he has directed and controlled in the state.
 For years Nr. Raul erved as presi- dent of the Yellow Pine Manufacturer s association. He served one year Us presi- dent of the Alabama. Association of Man ufacturers. He was member of the American commission appointed by the government for ti.e study Of rural credits in Europe, and was chaiimrn of the Ala tama section Of the National Citizens league during ths campalgn for banking and currency reform. He has been presi- cent of the Birmingham Chamber of Commerce and was the first president of the Birmin gham mark commission.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

Entered aI the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second-class matter un- der act of Congress. March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

The Age Herald is the only morning and Sunday newspaper in Birmingham carrying the Associated Press dis patches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11
e3m1IEzxM xMt@apnsiU
THE swAB

P. S.-Sometime later I'm going tt more fully about her work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

Through tatter'd clothes small vices do appear. king Lear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-11

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald, year $500 Daily without Sunday .......... 500 noi1vt and SuDda.y nor. month 7u