davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
SChmoIIer & Mueller Plano C.

Nebraska's Oldest and Largest Music House
Established 1859 1311-13f3 Street. Omaha
NJ B-Ak-Sar- Ben visitors cordially TO make
store their headquarters We will suitable
hotels boarding houses and check
is most advantageous place for to parades
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
SCANDAL.

D too broad minded TO en-
courage the sin Of scandal.
When q gossip begins to rotate
como scandal in your presence
cay to him. "come; let us 90 to
that person and see IL tho story
10 trus!" Hannah More, the
English author, always followed
that course, and il never failed
to work.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
superstitious,

What! Did you let the examtna-
lions go by again, Carlo"
'I'n tell you, father. On the way to
the college l met an old woman, and
then turned back again. Fnegende
Blaetter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
In Initiation.

Judge = Hoss thief, you're found
guilty by tn jury. Have y anything
to say as to why shouldn't soak y tn
limit?
Prisoner Wen, Judge, 1t wasn't your
boss stole.-Cleveand Leader.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
Different Jok.r,.

This here paper says" observed Mr..
Lerret, that the fire insurance CON-
panies fill their policies full of jokers."
Amt that nice of EN-" exclaimed
Mrs. Lerret. I'VE don't get almanacs
any more. PUCK.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
Quite the Revere.

Newpop-Well, my dear, did the pho
tographer succeed in making the baby
look pleasant?
Mrs. Newpop-No; the baby succeed
ed In making the photographer look
unpleasant-BOston Transcxapt
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
osnulns Genius.

Zones is q genius."
Il never thought much Of his
POEMS"
'"They are not the reason. He sue
ceeds In selling them."-Buffalo Ex.
nress.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
Loud Announcements.

Loud announcements.
Miss Hitts-Clara has told every one
In the neighborhood of her engagement
to you. Woody Wed-Indeed! Why,
she promised not to whisper it to a
soul Miss Hitts-Oh, she didn't whis-
per it-she shouted it.-Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
Antiquity ofIace

Lace was known in Venice at an
early period and was not unknown to
the Greeks and the Romans.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
More sociable.

Wore SoclabIe.
"Has the scientific study made much
difference in your boy. Josh?'
Not as much as you might think"
replied Farmer Corntossel. "Out in
the garden he calls everything by its
botanical name. But when he's sittin
up to the table passin his plate he's
careful to use the kind OF words we
all understand. Washington Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
K! x, (! i !EENl
CABINET
CULINARY KINKS.

Make my. mortal dreams como true
With the work fain would do; y
Clothe with life the weak intent;
Let mo be the thing meant.
John q, Whittaee.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
The Best Kind Of Woman to Marry.

The Best Kind Of Woman to Marry.
You take tip from me, son. When
you marry, marry home woman-a
woman who's willing to hang God
Bless Cur Home" sign on the wall
without making funny cracks about it.
e. c. Ranck In American Magazine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

Blacs heel of q loaf Of French
bread. rubbed with = slice of onion 81
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

the cups of white rose, garnished
with rosebuds and twigs and leaves.
The white meat Of chicken would seem
to be the only appropriate salad for
such an elysian feast.
Fish salads are usually marinated,
while It is not necessary to do 80 with
meat salads.
Warm gingerbread, cottage cheese
and apple sauce are delicious together.
Cut celery in 21a-inch pieces and
split In narrow strips. cut nearly to
he center. from both ends. Throw
INTO cold water and let them curl.
Use these as a garnish for a whole to.
mato salad.
| A tablespoonful of butter makes but.
ter pats Of good size.
Garnish butter pats with sorrel, clio.
yer or buttercups.
Fresh fruit served with q pyramid
Of powdered sugar In the center of the
dish is q most attractive arrangement
The powdered sugar may be nodded in
= small glass, by pressing 1t. then care.
fully unmold.
4 Popovers may be used as shells for
entrees OF various kinds.
| Lardopns are easiest threaded II cut
from the pork next the rind.
| Sweetbreads should be parboiled IN
water with q bit of lemon juice or win.
egar.
! Mustard seed and nuts are a nice
change of flavor in chicken salad.
Never pack dressing into fowl; It
should be put in lightly. Always salt
the fowl we'll on the inside before
stufing. Draw the stnews from the
legs with skewer and make that
piece much more delicate.
Partly ripened tomatoes seasoned
with salt and pepper and dredgsd with
dour and fried are good with beef.
steak
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

q Glove OF garlic In the
salad bowl and heap the
salad over it.
A Spanish onion
scooped out m axes q
pretty salad dish: also
a cabbage head followed
and filed with . salad
garnished with nastur.
tiums placed on the chop
plate with the cabbage.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04
ABluff.

n BTUTf.
Are you sure de lady in dat house
cooks wit an Oil stove?" asked Plod-
ding Pete.
Positive replied Meandering Mike
"And she has pump right in de
kitchen?'
YES"
"G'wan up an ask her if she don't
want US to cnop some wood or carry
some water. Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

A Winner.
Mrs. Crawford-Why doesn't she get
divorce if they're fighting all the
time?
Mrs. Crabshaw-Why should she do
that when she always gets the best Of
it?-Judge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

Further AfieId.
my wife has quarreled with the
neighbors on both Sides"
''Well?"
Now I'll have to put in telephone
SO she can gossip with people further
away."-Kansas City Journal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1917-10-04

ing powder is based on its
leaueuimg strength. You
can't judge it by the size
of the cans or by the amount
you get for your money. You ,
must estimate it by the amount
of baking powder used in each !.
baking and the results you get.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
WOULD TRAVEL FASTER THEN
Driver of Powder-Laden Wagon Tells
Critical Youth How He Can Make
Better Time-ln One Direction.

An employee of a large American
granite company was once driving
from railway station with several
casks of blasting powder and dyna-
mite cartridges in his load, when he
overlook a young man walking. With
out waiting for an invitation, the
pedestrian climbed into the wagon and
sat down upon one of the powder
casks. He was talkative young man,
and began at once to make derogatory
remarks about the speed of the wagon,
or, rather the lack of it.
"We're passing everything on the
road" he said, cheerfully-"that is,
everything that is stationary" Not re-
ceiving a reply, he continued. Il had
half mind to hire a landslip or a
glacier just for speed, you know, but
l suppose we are doing about as WELL"
He was silent for some time; then
he broke forth with:
II say, stop the horsei The earth is
revolving fast enough to get us there
Just then he prepared to scratch a
match on the cask.
"If you are goin' my way" said the
driver lazily, "this is just as fast as ii
will be; but, if you want to go straight
up at right angles to the road, jest
light that match on that blasting pow
der-and you're there now."
The young man decided to walk.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Women as Fortune Builders.

/ observe, and you will notice, that
Notwithstanding the great incursion of
women, Of late years, into one or an
other departments of business, they are
not Of much account as build
ers, Some Of them earn or make a
good deal of money, but they seldom
get rich by their own exertions, and
nearly all the rich women have inher-
tied their fortunes from men. More
over, the women who are most success
full as money-makers are not, as q rule,
the most successful as women. The
women seem to be a consecrated sex,
too valuable to be employed in mere
money-getting. Vast numbers of them
earn living good one
and have to; but few of them get rich.
1t Is common for a young man to start
out deliberately to accumulate for
tune. 1t is uncommon for young
woman to do so. She Is much more
likely to accumulate young man.
u. s. Martin, In the Atlantic.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
By CAPT. ROLAND F. ANDREWS

to0pyrish.. lsll. by Meolure Nerspaper Syndicate,

planted her banner on the edge of
the fosse, sprang down into the ditch,
placed the first ladder against the
walls and began to mount. AS she
rose an English archer drove an ar
row through her corselet wounding her
cruelty between neck and shoulder.
AS she fell the English leaped from
the wall to make her prisoner, but
her devoted French bore her to the
rear, where the sight of blood and
the anguish OF her hurt first made
her cry, but in moment she sat up,
drew the arrow FROM her body with
her own hands, betook herself for
few moments to prayer, and then
rushed back into the fray to find the
discouraged Dunois ordering retreat.
by my God" she cried to the army,
as she pointed toward the Tourelles,
you shall soon enter there. When
you see my banner wave again up to
the walls, to your arms again! For
the fort is yours"
Heading the second rush she terri
fed the English, for they had thought
her slain and now saw her apparently
risen from the dead. The Biscayan
soldier who was now bearing her BAN
ner pushed it forward from the fosse
until it touched the wall, whereupon
the French swarmed up the ladders,
aided by the troops who had been left
in the city, but who now placed planks
across the ruined bridge and rushed
TO the attack. Gladsdale striving fran.
tically was sighted by Joan, who cried
out to him, Surrender! Surrender to
the king of Heaven" The hard-pressed
English header disdained her summons,
but at that moment q cannon shot car.
ried away the bridge on which he was
standing and he fell to death by
drowning in the moat, With his death
the English abandoned resistance.
Three hundred had died in this one
fight. Two hundred were taken pris-
oners, The remaining English aban-
doned the siege.
Within three months Joan had full
filled the first part of her promise, the
relief of Orleans. Within three months
more she stood with her banner at the
high altar in Rheims and saw Charles
VII anointed king Of France.
Her DEVOTED service lasted long af.
ter. 1t ended only with her capture
at Compiegne, her sale to the English
and her martyrdom at the stake In
Rouen. She had saved France. France
permitted her to be burned alive.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
MESSAGE BY PERSHING.
U. S. Commander Sends Holiday
Greetings to Washington.
Gen. Bliss in Reply Says People Of
America Pray for Welfare and
Success of Army in France.

Washington, Dec. 26.-General Per-
shing cabled to the president and the
secretary of war holiday greetings
from himself and the other American
troops in France. The cablegram,
which was sent to Gen. Tasker H.
Bliss, chief of staff, read:
"Please extend to the president and
the secretary of war holiday greetings
and best wishes for success of our
arms during the coming year, and con-
vey to them from all ranks of the
American expeditionary forces in
France renewed pledges of devotion
to our sacred cause.
Likewise express our greetings to
our comrades at home coupled with
full confidence in the patriotism, cour-
age and devotion to the flag. p
(SlgneO "PERsHING."
Washington, Dec. 26.-In return Gen
eral Bliss sent the following cable:
'"The president and secretary of war
send you and to the American army in
France the most cordial greeting and
good wishes for this Christmas season
from the people of the United States.
Your comrades in every camp and can
tonment send you greetings. From ev-
cry home today goes prayer for the
welfare and success of our troops in
France and personally for that Of ev-
cry man Of them. The nation reposes
in you and them its full confidence
that in Gods time and with Gods
blessing its troops in France, side by
side with their gallant allies, will
bring victory and abiding peace to all
the world"
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
TURKEY DINNER FOR TARS
Every Sailor in FIotiIIa in British Wa
tsrs Had Real American
Christmas.

Base of American Flotilla in British
Waters, Dec. 26.-Every sailor in the
fiotilla had q real American Christ
mas. The sailors ate turkey and mince
pie and had all the other trimmings
that go with Christmas dinner. There
was music at mealtime and a few eX-
ira hours of duty, and each sailor was
happy.
Jackie was a bit angered at old
Santa Claus for being late with his
parcels, letters and cards from the
folks back home, but he consoled him
self with the thought that he will be
happier when he finally eats them.
The feature Of the Christmas cele-
bration was an entertainment at the
naval clubhouse. 1t was staged by
American sailors and soldiers from the
famous Black WatcH regiment. Adj
miral Simms, who came all the way
from London, to be with his boys over
the holidays, was a smiling spectator.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
HOOVER IN COUNTER MOVE
Food Dictator Embittered Over Treat
ment by the Reed COMMITTEES
f Says Body Packed"

Washington, Dec. 25.-Herbert Hoov.
er, food dictator, embittered over the
Reed committees action in "pocketing''
his 5000 word statement on the sugar
situation. after lengthy conference
with his counsel, Judge Curtis a. Lind
ley, prepared for counter move
against those members of the commit
tee who, he charges, are antagonistic
TO the food administration. Hoover
charges that the committee is "paek-
ed" with his enemies and AYERS that
the committees refusal to incorporate
into the record his statement explain
Ing the present sugar famine is the
result of deliberate campaign to
weaken him before the country,
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
TO Protect Eyes at Movies.

In order to protect the eyes Of those
who frequently attend movie shows, a
special form of spectacIes has been
devised, says the August Popular Nc
cbanics Magazine in an illustrated ar
ticle. 1t consists. of a pair of Opaque
disks. mounted In regular spectacle
frames, each disk having narrow slit
or opening through which the wearer
peers at the pictures, while rlost of the
eye is covered by the disks. The prin-
ciple is that of an old method of test
Ing the eyes for astigmatism, called the
"stenopalcr method, which consisted
in trying the patients vision with spec
tacles having Opaque plates and sma!.
central Sits somewhat like those Of
The new protective H.eyie device.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Special Programs.
The Girl That Counts.

There are cloudy days and days OF
sunshine. The cloudy days have their
limitations for certain conditions they
are acceptable and we welcome the
gray sky, the heavy rains. But the
day of sunshine has no limitations;
1t is always welcome, always joy bear
ing. The sick, the helpless, the
laborer, the weary, all hail the day Of
sunbeams, and this is just what hap
pens to the girl who scatters sunshine.
The gloomy girl is given standing
room, but the girl who leaves ray of
sunshine everywhere is the girl that
everyone welcomes. The girl who
works with smile, the girl who looks
on the bright side, who always has a
CHEEKY word, who can find time to take
q bunch of flowers to q friend, or write
a word of sympathy to the one in need
in short, the girl who can transform
sadness into gladness, by the force of
her sunny presence, is the girl that
counts wherever she may be found
Exchange.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Why Mankind Is Bad.

Mankind, as we know, in the lump
is bad, but that it is not worse remains
the everlasting wonder. 1t is not the
squalor of such crowd that should
astonish; 1t is the marvel that they are
not more squalid. For, after all, what
Is the root cause of all this dirt and
ignorance and shabbiness and disease?
1t is not drink, nor thriftlessness, nor
immortality, as the philanthropists do
vainly talk; still less is it crime. 1t is
The inequality" that Matthew Arnold
said made high civilization impos-
slble. But such inequality is only an
other name for poverty, and from pow
erty we have yet to discover the way
Of observation-disclosures
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
SENATOR NEWLANDs is DEAD
Lawmaker From Nevada Dies OF
Heart Failure in His Apartments
at Washington.

Washington, Dec, 25.-Senator Fran.
els 6. Newlands of Nevada died OF
heart disease last night at his apart.
ments ON Sheridan circle. The sena.
tor seemed to be In good health during
the day. He attended an informal
meeting of the Interstate Commerce
committee to discuss President vii.
sons probable appearance at the capi.
tai with his message to congress on the
railroad sitnationle He. was in appar.
ent good health then. Toward evening
he complained of feeling badly, but his
condition was not thought serious. He
fell over suddenly. dead.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
TO. PROBE ARMOUR METHODS
Federal Commission . at Washington
!. Wants to Know How He Got
Grip on Yards.

!.
Washington, Dec, 25--Prephrations
for, a, resumption of the federal, trade
commissions inquiry into the packing
industry were begun, with the likeii-
hood that examination of witnesses
would begin in Boston Thursday, If
place. con, be obtained. Hearings
also will be held in the near future
in New York and Philadelphia. The
Boston. sessions viii be devoted "to an
entirely new angle of the case, par
ticularIy the methods employed by r.
II. Prince and J. Ogden Armour in OBJ
tanning control of the Chicago juno
ton Railways and Union Stock Yards
company, through the organization Of
the Chicago Stock Yards company.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Sparrow Potpie.

Sparrows make good potpies. This
nay not, sound good, but party. with
,ppetites that result from a days
tramping through woodland streams
for trout sat down to a bird pie for
Inner. No one knew the kind of birds
the pie contained and various birds
were suggested. Some 'old sports"
were positive they could not be de-
ceived. The landlord was noncommit-
tai. Many weeks afterward another
party of guests learned the truth. 1t
was sparrow pie that the first party
had so greatly liked and they enjoyed
the joke at their friends expense, but
were careful to make no comment and
to ask no questions regarding the
meals they enjoyed.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Auert Strike Of 10000 Men.

San Francisco, Dec. 25.--A threat
ened strike Of 10000 metal trades
unionists engaged IN, industries other
than shipbuilding was averted here,
according to officials of the Iron
Trades council. when IA of the 35
ifoundries that would have been affect
led granted demands for a 10 per cent
additional increase over the 81 per
cent advance allowed some time ago
Iby the federal adjustment board.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
PEACE. NTH IRON
FIST, SAYS HUN
1--WE WILL FORCE 1T IF. THE ENE-
NY REFUSES.
KAISER LAUDS HIS WARRIORS
In Speech to Soldiers Near verdun
Declares That They Made the ItaI-
i ian Smash Possible-Says God
Is His Ally.

Amsterdam, Dec. 25.-"If the enemy
does not want peace, then we must
bring peace to the world by the bat
tertng Of our iron fist and our shining
sword" Kaiser Wilhelm declared in a
speech to the second army.
Despite three years. of war and suf-
fering." the kaiser continued, "our old
offensive spirit is still effective,
"Thls is shown" the German emper-
or added. ''by our recent great victo-
ries in Flanders and at Cambrai, where
the arrogant British first felt the
crushing power of our offensive blow"
Lauds His Warriors.
The kaiser continuing, exravagant-
ly praised the tactics, strategy and val
or Of the successful defense of his
troops on the west front. He referred
specifically to theGdefense which Ger
man troops interposed. against the At
tempt to advance toward Brussels" as
"the most gigantic feat in history"
"The year 1917" the kaiser said,
"has proved that the German people
have In the Lord of Creation above 'an
unconditional and ayowed ally upon
whom they can absolutely rely.
without him all would have been in
vain.' .
The kaisef's speech was made to the
second army. somewhere on the west
front. A4
Speaks at Verdun.
LN,,,, a,.or NNilIio,,, ,-;citaI ~ fratf
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
stamp statIstlcs.

In all there are about 10000 kinds
Of stamps, used and unused, and be-
tween 75,0O0 and $4,000. different vari-
eties. The collections in this coun-
try, not counting the stamps held by
the gov oyernment and dealers, are worth
something like $100O00,000. An exhi-
,ition held in New York city three
ears ago, under the auspices of the
'ollectors' club, was valued at $1,000
10. qd1 ieil ita
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Worse Than Death.

visitor-Isn't it terrible to think
that the vessel yonder may dash on
the rocks and every soul on board
perish?
Old Salt-Yes; but isn't II more ter
rlble to think that maybe the crews a.
working themselves to death, and per-
haps there's not bit o. bacca aboard
the entire craft t?-London Tit-Bits.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
JOHN D. PLAYS SANTA CLAUS
Rockefeller and Mrs. Shepard Aban-
don Usual Custom Of Giving Gold
and Distribute Bills.

Tarrytown, N. Y, Dec. 26.-John D.
Rockefeller and Mrs. Finley J. Shep-
ard played Santa Claus. Because of
the scarcity of gold, however. they
abandoned their usual custom of Civ
ing gold pieces, and distributed five
and ten-dollar bills instead. All the
employees at the railroad station, tel
egraph office and telephone exchange
were remembered.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Bar Llaht After Mldnlaht.

Washington, Dec. 26.-The proprie-
tors of several hotels here have post
ed notices advising guests that all
lights must be turned out after mid
night under penalty of having their
rooms Cancelled.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Boy KILLED BY chrlstmas eIft.

Marquette, Mich, Dec. 26.-Whlle
Ray Yalencourt, fifteen, and his boy
chum, Homer Pike, were examining
rifle the latter had received for Christ
mas, the gun was discharged and Yal-
encourt was instantly killed.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Enforce Lightless Rule.

Cleveland, o., Dee. %. -Thirty-siS
Cleveland business houses which
failed TO observe 'lightless Sunday
are on probation. The firms will he
prosecuted following second offeuse.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1917-12-27
Pigs Bones Used as Toys.

One Of the pet games played by Rus
sian children is known as babki, or pig
bones. 1t is similar to the American
game of tenpins. but the bones Of
pigs leg are used. On the vast Rus
sian estates, where the peasants make
many of the toys for the masters chill
iren. the bones from the legs of pigs
are thus utilized.