New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-05-25

what he suspected. So Il week az
today, | got her to 90 with me to q
Specialist Her voice got ii little
harder and cooler. "Mothcr'H never be
well, Rose. Her heart is getting fab
hN-degenerAting, he called it. lie
says we can't do anything except tc
rrtard the progress of the disease. II
may 90 fast, or it may 90 slowly. That
attack she had WAS Just Il symptom
he said. She'll have others. And by
ana by, of course, a fatal one"
Still she didn't look around from
the window. She knew Rose was cry.
ing. She had heard the gasp and
choke that followed her first announce
inent of the news, and since then, ir-
regularly, a mufled sound of sobbing.
She wanted to 60 over and comfort
the young, stricken thing there on the
bed, but she couldn't. She could feel
nothing but n dull, irresistible anger
that Rose should have the easy relief
of tears, which had been denied her.
Because Portia couldn't cry.
HE said" she went on. "that in this
climate, living as she has been doing,
she'd hardly last six months, but that
in a bland climate like southern Cali
fornia, If she's carefully watched all
the time to prevent excitement or over
"Xertion, she might live II good many
years.
$50 that's what we're going to do.
Eve written the F%letchers to look out
"A place for us, and I've sold out my
busineSs-took an offer that | refused
Il month ago. AS o as we hear from
the Fletchers, well begin to pack.
Within Il week, | hope"
Rose said II queer thing then. She
cried out increduOusly: and you and
mother are going away to California
to live! And leave me here all alone ="
"All alone with the whole of your
own life thought Portia, but didn't
say it.
Il can't realize it at ALL" Rose went
on after a little silence. at doesn't
seem-possible. Do you believe the
specialist is right? Can't we go to
someone else and make sure?'
"What's the use?" said Portia. "Be-
sides, if | drag mother around to any
more of them, she'll know"
Rose looked up sharply. doesn't
she know"
NO. said POrtia in that hard, ever
voice of hers. II lied to her, of course.
Won know mnthar wall onnupb a. I.,ou
what she'd do If she knew the truth
about it. Don't you know how it's
always pleased her when old people
could die-'in harness. as she says?"
The ordeal, or the worst of it, was
over. Rose was dropping fOrlOrnly
forward. one arm clasped around her
knees, and she was trying to dry her
tears on the sleeve of her nightgown.
The childlike pathOS of the attitude
caught POrtia like the surge of a wave.
She crossed the room and sat down on
the edge of the bed. Shed have come
still closer and taken the girl in her
arms, but for the fear of starting her
crying again.
YES" Rose said. That's mother.
And ] guess she's right about it. 1t
must be horrible to be half-alive-to
know you're no use and never will be.
And you've gone through this all alone
without ever giving Rodney and me a
chance to help. | don't cCa why you
did that. POrtia."
"Oh, l saw it was my job" Portia
said, in that cool, dry tone of hers.
ut had to be done, and there was no
n else to do it. So what was the
use of making n fuss?"
well, there's one thing" Rose said.
II believe it'll do you as much good as
mother. Getting a rest. And a
nice little bungalow to live in-just
you and mother. . II sort of
wish l was going, too"
Portia laughed-a ragged, unnatural
sounding laugh that brought a look of
puzzled inquiry from Rose.
why, nothing" Portia explained.
1T was just the notion of your leav-
ing Rodney and all you've got here
all the wonderful things you have TO
o-lo "Idt "th huNt oul t1tTt.
The idea of your envying me is
worth a small laugh, don't
you Think
Roses head dropped lower. She
buried her face in her hands. II do
envy you" she said. There was a
dull, muffied passion in her voice. "Why
shouldn't l envy you? You're so cold
and certain all the time. You make
up your mind what you'll do and you
do it. l try to do things and just
make myself ridiculous"
you've got a husband" said Portia
In q thin. brittle voice. THAT might
count for something, / should think"
"Yes, and what good am 1 to him?"
Rose demanded. "He can't talk to
me-not about his work or anything
like that. And l can't help him any
way. I'm something nice for him to
make love to, when he feels like do
ing it, and I'm a nuisance when l
make ene and get tragic. And
all. Thats-marriage, 1 guess.
You're the lucky one, Portia."
The silence had lasted a good while
before Rose noticed that Portia had