The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1917-07-12
SUBLIMATED Stiffness

Suffering Belgium, land of battles
and blood, shot-torn, famine-wasted,
war-wrecked, sent commission of her
eminent men to our shores to tell us
the story of her woes and tribulations.
Among the places visited by this
commission was the capital of our own
fair state, and as was very proper anu
commendable, they were rendered q
public reception. Unfortunately, a
bunch of sizzling sissies WIFI which
the Sanity City is salivated, usurped
the management of this function and
decided that it should be a strictly
formal affair" and IN order to be ad
mitted the guests must array them
selves in the conventional garb of
swelldom, silk hats and swallow tailed
coats.
Louis w. Hill, head of the greatest
railroad system in Christendom, per-
sonal friend and chum of Albert, Bel
GUMS warrior king, who has donat-
ed most literally to Belgium's cause;
titular chief of corporation that has
uOlldICu 1llOIC CllOl q Illllou W CliS
same cause, was informed by the tin
horn aristocrats that were mishandl-
ing the affair, that they would be GLAD
to have him present, but knowing his
democratic proclivities and contempt
of shoddyism, they also sent word that
unless he arrayed himself in the glao
rags of uppertendom he could not re-
cep. at their little reception.
L. w. Hill informed them that he
did not own a silk hat, and owing tc
the high cost of living, he could not
afford to buy one at the present time,
that he would not know how to put
one on if he had one, and So he re-
manned at home. But Mr.. Hill got
most gloriously even; he went out and
bought eight plug hats and gave them
to eight policemen, and the eight cops,
having the necessary wardrobe but
credentials, were admitted to the
shoddy shindig.
This constitutes the grimmest hd-
murous incident since the days that
Samson went on rampage and wrung
the necks of three score of Philistines,
stripped athem of their Sunday gar
ments and turned them over to their
relatives in payment of a wager that
they had won from him by unspoiis-
manlike conduct.
The reception was a success, every
one was properly arrayed in the uni
form of aristocracy, even down to
Louie's eight policemen.
This is no diatribe against social
customs, no spleenic seattle Of men
who wear full dress on proper occa-
sions. We recognize the inalienable
right of any man to wear decolette
vest, a coat with the front skirts lack
ing and to cover his brain thatch with
a silk tile whenever and wherever he
feels like it, but in these stern times
it is we'll to bear in mind that it is not
the chappies who sleep till noon, eat
their dinner at six o'clock and who
make attendance on social functions
in bang-tail apparel who have accom-
plished anything for the benefit OF
themselves, their country or humanity
and that fighters who win battles are
never uniformed in full dress.
There are over fifty thousand words
in the rich. vocabulary Of our mother
tongue. Linguistic sharks inform US
that these words can be formed into
ten billion different phrases, each
case expressing an idea, but in all
this multitudinous of thought produc-'
ing material, only one phrase can be
formed, properly expressing the feel
ings of the multitude of the sensible