The Butler weekly times., 1917-07-26
SUNBEAMS
Feller citizens-l

1~what l know, but
what strongly suspect, viz: That il
you or ! had the management of this
universe, things would be different
want to tell you today of a good
German friend once had (you no
tice ! use the past tense). He is a
good German yet Che went to the
front and was killed.. You see he
was bell hop in a hotel and when
some one said front he was it. I
want you to read the last letter from
him. Here it is:
Ohio Columbus, Oct. de twiced, 'I6.
Dear Old Fat-Head:-
As l have nottings to do und want
it should pc did, tout l would took
my pen und pottle of ink IN mein fist
and typewrite you some letters.
Please excuse dis lead pencil. ! am
all we'll at present except mein brud-
der. He was kicked in de suburbans
last mite py a mule. The mule is not
expected to live. Your rich -aunty
who died from patipitation of de
heart ven you wass here is still deaf
and doin' nicely. She left you fifteen
tousand dollars, so you are no more
a poor man, but Dutchman. You
are still an orphant. De only rela-
tions you hat got letting is an uncle
who was kilt in de last war. I am
sending you py express your over
coat. As de charges SO mooch a
pound l cut off de buttons. ! hope
dis will be satisfaction. You will
find de buttons on de inside pocket.
Yes, as dis is all what have to say
/ will close my face and expect you
to do de same. l saw your little boy
today. He look youst like you,
odderwise he is all right. Hoping dis
will come to you before you get it
and that you will answer before dot
will remain,
Yours confectionery,
Otto Mobile.
P. S. Shouldn't you get dis letter,
phone and l viii at at eHaeee send 1t
py parcels post.
Otto.
A woman in Chicago accepted
three months in Jail rather than live
with her mother-in-law. She said
she didn't know what jail was like,
but that she did know the old lady.
Now, by golly; what if man would
talk like that.
The other day | saw an article be-
ginning like this: IF we would live
like the cave man, etc" Well, by
golly, says l, Il could easily live like
a cave man, but the cave man would
have some stunt in his hands if he
tried to live as do. He shore would. y
Kaiser Bill has an idea (only one)
in his head, that Germany will be the
victor in the present war and will
rule the world and the only way to
get that idea out of his head is to
shoot it out. That's what we are
sending men to training camps and
shipping them to France for, and
some of the boys will get bead on
Bills sky piece some day and biff-l
the war will be over. i
The devil is almost ready to ad-
init that when it comes to hellishness
he is miles behind Kaiser Bill and his
imps and Old Nick has about de-
cided to abdicate in favor of the
Kaiser.
Greece having entered the war
look for things to move along more
smoothly. There's noting like grease
to make any kind of machinery run
slick. Rah! for Greece or grease as
the case may be.
] am of the opinion that temper is
. good thing for any woman to have,
90 good in fact, that she should keep
II and under no circumstances lose
i.
Song of the aviators-Up in
balloon boys, up in balloon. up
among the little stars, sailing round
ne moon. .-4 Dr.. .e.r
I notice in a paper that dress goods
are up 2-3rd's. On the streets
sometimes notice they are up about
s-4ths and ! am not what you'd can
= @Ann>,a~A Nnee~A AsthAP