The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-06-22
THB AlgELoRs'
QDB
nhere Wss : Penalty For
b RICHARD MARKLEy

IAs BacAsloD club was an associa.
toa Of men who regarded themselves
= being especially happy in not hav.
Sihg vita child Or home and who look.
Tsd upon women % designing persons
!. whe ma6e = thelr. business to enslave
u men, niually ~ some underhanded
g1ne4ns ait0gsthef reprehensible.
( The BichelOFdf club came to order
4 the president In the chair.
q "Fellow bachelors" he said, "one OF
our number has committed matrimony
sEdWard Hammerton has taken to him
Sself wife. will read article I of
\ our constitution. applying to his case:
a 'When any member shall become en-
& gaged or has been married he shall pay
1a dns and his membership in the club
shall cease. He shall state the arts by
which he was SHARED. If there are palli-
= ating circumstances in his case he shall
not pay the whole fine. but such portion
4 of It as the club may consider il It
amount in his case.
"Mr. Hammerton will now make his
: statement"
II assure you. gentlemen" said the
retiring member, that no intention
whatever to desert you ever entered
my head until diabolical combination
Of young women In the town where |
live forced matrimony upon me. These
persons organized a club based on a
custom prevailing in foreign land
Between the mountains of India and
Persia, ! have since understood, is a
powerful tribe, among whom the ladies'
can choose their own husbands. All a
single woman has to do when she
wishes to change her state is to send a
servant to pin 4 handkerchief to the
hat Of the man on whom her fancy
lights, and he is obliged to marry her
unless he can show that he Is too poor
to purchase her at the price her father
requires.
Inspired BY this suggestion from a
land where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions. every un-
married woman in the town where
live formed club-rather, entered upon
q c0nspiracy-to force the bachelors
into matrinnony. One morning, being
about to leave my home. on taking my
hat from the hall closet something soft
and scented fluttered against my hand
shuddered. had touched the Indian
poison dover and was reminded Of its
waxen petals and its seductive odor
Taking the hat to the light. I saw
pinned to 1t q blue silk handkerchief
In one corner of which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe, gentlemen the in
sinuattng method of this designing
creature. She not only knew how dear
to every man Is his alma mater but
she was aware that blue is the color
OF my college.
mind you, gentlemen, did not at
the time know Of this society or OF
its malevolent purpose, for the mem.
bers kept both secret so long as possi-
BILE. I asked my butler how the hand
kerchief came to be pinned to my hat
He said that the servant Of Miss Euge-
mia Tomlinson, living at the other end
OF the street, had called before was
out Of bed, asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief Why he had
oOne 30 ne OlQ not state.
Going to my club after had break
tasted. sat down to cigar and
paper. In the paper l read full ac-
count OF the organization and prac-
tices Of this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported to our soil. | also
read a list Of the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast to
see the names of two of my most inti-
mate friends.
Great heavens | cried, the per-
spiration starting out on me, and
have already received a deadly Black
Hand notification
'The lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery, both from her
beauty and general attractiveness, was
all powerful Any man on whom she
pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him. Nevertheless. though seeing
the signal to heave to, | made up my
mind to pay no attention to it. I sim
ply sailed on. minding my own busi-
mesa" sf
"why didn't you take to an aero
planet" member interrupted.
"Ratsw "Buncombev' Brave boy!"
and the like greeted the speaker.
'Ono week after the receipt of the
signal" he continued. "the period given
blacklisted bachelors by this club,
met one Of my most respected women
friends on the street. She cut me dead
The same day met several others and
received the cut direct from all. Here
was, indeed, boycott. You must re-
member, gentlemen. that. although we
do not wish to surrender our independ-
ence to these creatures, to be ostra-
cized by them is a serious matter In
time ! was cut by every unmarried
woman In town. Besides, the most at
tractive married women were honorary
members of the club and Joined the
boycott.
And then. gentlemen. appeared the
most alluring feature of this malignant
scheme. Last of all my feminine ac-
quaintances I met the girl into whose
tolls 1t was Intended that should fall.