The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-05-03

mat man may last, but never lives,
Who much receives but nothing gives
Whom none can love, whom none cal
thank,
Creations blot, Creations blank"
The inaugural ceremony, as des
cribed in Townsend's Omitted State
Index" cleveland, after taking tn,
oath as President, kissed the opei
Bible, his lips touching Psalms cxiii
$40, inclusive"
The war economy in the Bill Mis-
given family is to be put into effect
between the time the women gel
their spring outfits and the men gel
theirs. And the women have already
seen to it that they get theirs first.
& Z Z
In addition to the increase in price
of shaves, the shortage of steel may
result in dearth of safety razors,
which means that we will have bum
per crop of spinach this summer, any
way.
q q &
There was a timid knock at the
door. "If you please, kind lady," the
beggar said, T've lost my right leg
-" well, it amt here" retorted
the lady of the house, and slammed
the door.
q & &
If an and an |, and an o and U.
With an X at the end spell Su.
And an f and Y and E spell |,
Pray what is a speller to do?
Then if also and an | and G
And II f d spell side,
There's nothing much left for speller
But go and commit siouxeyesighed!
A tip to the country women. If
your "old man" gets down with the
rheumatism so bad that he can't move,
use him for a setting hen or an in
cubator. A Missourian, the dispatches
say, got that way recently and his
wife Matched 80 chickens out of 40
eggs that she placed around his body.
4 Z 4
In addition to the horrors of war,
it is about the time of year when
mans wife hands him a table knife,
after the evening meal is over, and
tells him that he had better "get
out and go after those dandelions be-
fore they take the whole blessed
lawn"
The recent war order in Germany
limiting the peoples clothing supply
specifies, among other things, men
may have only six handkerchiefs each
and women only four pairs of stock
ings. Is war so terrible? Thousands
of men in America get along with
fewer than four handkerchiefs, and
many we'll dressed girl has never
more than two pairs of stockings at
one time.
81 can tell by looking into your
faces where your parents came FROM"
said a public speaker. "Pll bet yez
don't know where me folks came
from," exclaimed Pat, who was one in
he great audience. "Why, my FRIEND"
said the speaker, "your folks came
rom old Ireland" "And faith, you
ire wrong" shouted Pat. "Me folks
lidn't come from ovid Ireland. They
ire there yet"
He was a rachety young man and
,ept very late hours, but had now
oined the militia and was ordered to
he front, and on bidding farewell to
lis beloved he said to her: Darling,
When am far away wilt thou gaze at
'on star every night and think of
ne?" 81 will, indeed, dearest" she
eplied. "If l needed anything to re-
mind me of you, should choose that
cry star" "Why?" he said. "Be-
ause it is out so late at night and
ooks so pale in the morning"
z z &
"Way back in the early days of the
lains," remarked Old Bill Misgivens,
/ remember | got into a mighty
ight place. | was riding a buckskin
ony one day when along come herd
f buffalo. That herd was 3 miles
tide and 8 miles long of solid buffalo,
nd the first thing l knew was right
/ the middle of it. Then that blam-
pony stumbled and fell. That was
time when Old Bill had to act quick
nd think quick. When the pony went
own | see that there was just one
hing for me to do unless | wanted
, be run over and tramped on and II
lat was to jump onto the back of
uffalo. That was what l did, but II
idn't want to be just ridin' along II
it'll that herd, so | commenced to
IMP from the back of one buffalo to II
mother and kept that up until | had
lmped 1 u miles and reached the out
de of the herd While was maxim |!
to one side of that herd them buff II
10 had travelled 8 miles straight II