The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1917-09-08
THE MMON-SENSE VIEW OF
MARRIAGE.

/ Why are particularly women sc
often the victims of disappointment
IN marriage? The reason in most
cases is that, because of faulty home
| training or superficiality of thought
many girl has phantastic and senti-
mental ideas of marriage and has no
clear conception concerning the natu
raj functions of marriage, and con
corning the matrimonial state with
its responsibilities.
If bride and groom begin their
wedding day without knowing the ma
ture of their responsibilities, delu-
sion will be dispelled and the bride
will be the one to be most afflicted.
This does not mean that marriage
must be approached with ominous
misgivings and depression of spirit,
but that futurist pictures of welded
bliss leaving out of consideration the
realities of life will vanish like a
mirage. The firmer the realization
of the responsibilities involved and
the clearer the conception of the du-
ties to be assumed, the longer the
ideal phase of marriage will be in
evidence.
If, however, the girl has been wont
to regard herself as a fit subject for
the inspiration of poets, as a chosen
agent to brighten social intercourse
with her bewitching youth, if she be-
lieves that it is her mission to shine
and to charm, then, indeed, bitter dis
appointment awaits her. If she
thinks that the motherly concern Of
which she was the object in her own
home, will be lavished upon her by
her husband, who as her wooer was so
tender and considerate, she is laboring
under "delusion," for it is the man who
needs this "mothering." If she is
under the impression that marriage
is but a playful game of billing and
cooling" she will be painfully disiIlu-
stoned.
A girl requires more preparation
than a young man to qualify her for
assuming the duties and responsible
ties of married life If she has not
been properly enlightened in this re-
spect, only deep-seated love will en-
able her to brave the disappointments
that are certain to set in.
1t is not advisable for an immature
girl to marry, one who has no ade-
quate conception of woman's function
al responsibilities in marriage.
In this connection, DR.. Gasner
writes: Concerning the duties that
are to be assumed, one must7 know
them and be fully convinced of their
reciprocally binding nature; one must
seriously reflect if, with the assist
ance of grace, one dares to assume
them, firmly determined to perform
them conscientiously. From this it
will be perceived that one must ap-
proach marriage with careful DELHI
Grafton and by listening attentatively
to the marriage instructions"
1t is to be noted that as a rule &C.
clesiastical marriage instructions do
not adequately enlighten an unsophis-
ticated girl concerning the nature of
the duties to be rendered, for priests
can not be expected to do so; and it
would furthermore be too late in the
day to impart this knowledge. This
duty devolves upon those who are re-
lated to the bridal couple
One of the most thoughtless and de-
plorable misconceptions is the idea
that marriage will convert one who
has been addicted to vice. One who
derides all that is holy will not be
abruptly transformed by marriage.
The woman tied to such a partner is
herself in danger of being contami-
mated by bad example. If she is true
to her noble ideals but is not able to
change the heart of her husband, her
lot will be most pitiable one.
In the matter of adjusting financial
affairs, the man and the woman
should deal with each other without
suspicion. Without yielding to over
wrought mentality, they should seek to
bring about a common disposition of
property. Marriage should not be en-
tered into, as a rule, unless there are
fairly good prospects of establishing
and maintaining home.
On the other hand, the practice is
to be condemned of unduly postpon-
ing marriage until the man has ac-
quired certain position in the bust
ness world. Some of our young peo-
pie disdain to begin as did their par
ents, with small equipment of fur
niture and a modest home. Many
men owe their success in later life to
the economy practised in the early
years of marriage.
The Echo.