The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-02-27
Letters Of the
Counting Period
BY DONALD CHAMBERLIN

often. dropping from an infinite height
to an infinite depth and rising from a
profaned depth 10 heavenly height.
is one of the many mysteries of love.
Ovid wrote OF the art Of love. He had
better have written Of the chaos of
love. Here are some letters written
by one of my grandfathers and one OF
my grandmothers when they were
counting. The first is from grandpa.
Just listen 10 it:
Dearest, Sweetest Matilda-I have but
Just come to my room from hearing you
say that YOU would be mine. but cannot
refrain from writing you how happy you
have made me have met many girls.
but you are the only angel among them
l am awestruek when think Of my hav-
ing secured such prize. only fear that
when you lind out how unworthy I am
YOU will east me on.
My grandfather was in such 1utter
that ten minutes after he had left my
grandmother To continue on paper the
twaddle he had lavished on her IN
speech he was in his room writing the
above effuSion Ii would seem that
these young lovers never can break
the steady flow Of love that pours from
their hearts. and II they succeed in
doing So they must needs repair the
break In some other form ~ quickly
as they can get an opportunity
And what possessed the man possess
ed the woman. Scarcely had grand
father left his mate than she rushed
/ TO her eScritoire and, sitting down, took
i pen ana paper and continued her own
/ heart outpouring in the following note:
/ Dearost-I know that | am foolish. but l
I cannot-though you have not been gone
! ten minutcs-refrain from telling you how
/ infinitely happy YOU have made me by the
! honor YOU have done me. To be loved by
/ such man is simply ecstacy. How hon
4 cradle You have been IN refrainng from
+ telling me you loved me before speaking
! to papa,
/ OF course | can't give what must
have taken hours to write Besides.
/ what would he the usei 1t is all on
! the same high G key. II he was writ
Ing 10 an angel she was writing to n
| god Let rs see how the mercury
! dropped after the first spat:
Dear Miss MarShall-I must say | was
I surprised at Your action this evening
! supposed you were above treating even a
/ coachuan, II say nothing of n gentleman,
! as you treated me. DO YOU consider what
/ YOU did ladHlIke3 confess that IL my
4 father had q kitchen maid who would act
( toward me as you have done | should in
sist on her discharge.
Note the rapid fall from angel to
/ kitchen maid And the old duffer-I |
forgot, my grandfather was then
young - considered himself gentle
man. \ gentleman to compare his
best girl 70 a kitchen maid! But his
act is nothing To compare with hers
1t takes a woman 20 express her opin
ion of n man when she's mad
Mr. winchen I thought you were a gen
tleman That illusion Is gone forever.
4 You viii always hereafter be classed with
those young men who. having been
brought up in the backwoods. have not
learned how t. treat lady. Since don't
consider you worthy to enter my house |
beg that YOU viii never again do so.
. Should YOU pcrsecute me with your atten-
tions hereafter | shah inform my brother.
I Ia the evening iittT NlilHtT l VIII let
Watch loose. Ills teeth are very sharp.
Noting the date OF this letter, | find
that n reconciliation was expected the
day it was written At any rate, here
are two letters. the first from grandpa,
bearing the same date as the last
/. quoted
Dearcst-Thank heaven it's all explained
I will call at half past to take the noblest
woman In the world IN my arms and give
her million kisses,
The dog that was to have been let
loose seems 10 have lost his terror.
This is lar reply
Oh my daflus now immeasurably
happy ana that us horrid nightmare
IS over At1 10 think taat 1t should have
been about sa tiilius "A matter as your
. criiicislng tie bucKles on nay shoes! ID
come earlier than half past s. We shall
be through dinner bv half past !. and how
can I wait whole hour for You?
For fortnight after this the waters
were uutrouhled; then came flash Of
lightnin. ont Of a clear sky. Its vio-
lence marks it for the lady's.
sir-I return with this. by our negro
boy Slm. sour ring. Considering who
gave it 10 ue. Dc is more than a worthy
messenger ! would express hope that
you would be ta.py with another girl IL
Z / dll not ftcl suro you would lead any
woman horrible life Return my letters
az once by bearer.
His reply:
will returH your letters when you have
returned mine Respectfully yours etc.
This doesn't sound so bad as com
pairing his angel 70 a housemaid, but
il is really worse lie intimates that
he can't trust her TO return his letters,
she having recovered her own. and
that she is liable to use them TO his
discredit There's no further record
about this return Of letters. Quite a
gap ensues. during which they were
doubtless 50 much together that they
had no use for pens. The next corre-
spondence IS but few days before
Z ,bnir marriage This is from grandpa