The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1917-04-26
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From Our EXCHANGES

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Very seedy-melons.
The leader of the sightseeing party
paused at the old cathedral door to take
leave of the old sexton. you've been
here many years. he questioned
Forty" smiled the old guide. ''And
it's very strange, as whenever I'm a. show
ing party out O. the old church they allus
asks that same question-or the other one"
"What may be the other onel' asked
the tourist.
cts just this" calmly: "They says:
'Sammiwel, is tips allowed1' And Sammi-
wei says: Tips is allowed -
He got the tip.
| -"Where are you running to, my little
man?" asked the minister as the small boy,
on turning corner, ran against him.
"Hcme' painted the boy. ''Ma's going
to spank me-
What gasped the astonished preacher.
Are you eager to have your mother spank
you that you run home so fast?"
"No," shouted the boy over his shoulder
as he resumed his homeward flight, "but if
l don't get there before pa, he II do it,
"A Scotch minister was walking through
street in the village one misty evening
when he fell into deep mud hole
make his escape, and he began to shout for
help. A passing laborer heard his cries
and, looking down, asked who he was.
The minister told him, whereupon the
laborer remarked:
"Weel, weel, We medina kick up sic
noise. You'll no be needed afore Sawbath,
an this is only Wednesday nicht.''
-Paderewski was giving private concert
at the home of a young matron who
had recently acquired great wealth, but
whose knowledge of music was not equal
to her money.
''May l ask, Mr.. Paderewski," she ven
tured, "who is the composer of the selection
that you just played3 1t is wonderful"
Beethoven, madam was the reply.
ooh, yes" she exclaimed. "And is he
composing now?"
ono, madam, was the grave response;
che is decomposing.
"A Chicago mother was showing her
little boys, aged about ten and twelve years,
through the swine section at the 1916
International Livestock Show. The boys
were. greatly interested in all they saw.
Finally the smaller child, who had been
diligently reading all the signs and spelling
out various names, called excitedly to his
mother:
ooh, do come here quick and look at
these big black and white hogs that have
come 20 far from their home. See. the card
says they are from Poland, China
| "A Matter-of-fact m nd like Mrs.
Moody's is comfort to the person who
has it, and never-ending delight to that
PERSONS friends.
81 suppose you went to bed with the
chickens while you were staying on the
farm this SUMNER said one of the neigh
bors.
''No indeed!' replied Mrs. Moody. with
much dignity. ''They were very neat,
quiet people, and the chickens slept some
where at the back of the house.
Captain at inspection. els this rust on
your riAe?'' Recruit-"No Sir! That is
only petrifed rain WATER
When his machine, which he was driv-
ing for the first time, was about to crash in
to another, John OFT. wealthy farmer who
lives near Columbus, Ind said, "Whoa,"
but the auto seemed not to understand the
farm language and collision resulted.
One potato is now accepted in place of
10 cents cash for admission to some moving
picture shows in Toledo. 0. At one thea
tire more than $40 worth of potatoes was re-
ceived few evenings ago.
of the principal state officers since
Maine was admitted to the Union in 1920,
Somerset County has furnished one Cover
nor, two presidents of the Senate, three
clerks of the House of Representatives, one
Attorney General, three Land Agents, one
Bank Commissioner and one Speaker of the
House of Representatives.