davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1917-09-12

NJ, II. Il Il. II. II. TIME TABLE.
south Bound, No.. lis
Due at Hartford S:45 a. m.
North Bound. No. IL
Due at Hartford 5:55 p. m.
Doth Mixed" Trains.)
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1917-09-12

Hartford Herald. Gentlemen
Please find enclosed check for 800
~'''~R nut to nv credit ON paper and
oblige. Yours resp't..
7. n. KENNEDY.
W.,sox. Ky.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1917-09-12

Don't put corn In the silo too
green. 1t is ready for the silo ten
days or two weeks before 1t is ripe
enough for the shock.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1917-09-12

Green corn can supplement short
grass during this month.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1917-09-12

This is the time of year when
ascs are at their worst.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
An Aged Puppy.

The old farmer had been hailed be-
fore the magistrate to show cause why
he hadn't taken out a license for a
pet terrier.
"Whoy, he's nobbut q puppy" he
exclaimed in defense.
"Yes, yes, so you say" said the
clerk. But how old Is her"
81 couldn't tell to Bit" was the
reply. Il never was much good at
dates, but he's nobbut puppy"
On the other hand, evidence proved
that the dog was long past puppyhood
and the bench inflicted the usual fine
Talking it over afterward, the farm
er exclaimed:
"'Ang me If can Understand it I! Last
year and year afore that, l tole
the same tale bout the same dog, an
1t wor allus good enough afore. Who's
bin meddlin' Wit law since last year?'
London Tit-Bits.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

vidual within the period for which
such extension is desired y'under-
stand"
"Tlat's nothing" Birsky said. "Take
for instance John d. Rockefeller, and
after his bookkeepers got through fill
ing out No. 81, Total amount derived
from royalties from mines, oil wells,
patents, franchises or other legalized
privileges Zapp, / wouldn't be sur
prised that two dozen adding machines
was ruined on account they wasn't
built to take such heavy figures like
they run through them"
"Well, what difference does it make
how heavy them figures was?" Zapp
said. "On the other side of the page
stands No. 35, Amount allowed to
| cover depletion In case of mines and
oil wells, understand, and you could
take 1t from me, Birsky, a smart bust
ness man like Rockafellar, with all the
expert bookkeepers he's got, would
easy fill out No. 35 in such a way that
them Income Tax people couldn't
prove otherwise but what they owed
Mr.. Rockafellar $3.50, 1929"
you're right, Zapp," Birsky said,
land anyhow, Zapp, all he's got to do
to pay his income tax for 1915 to 1862,
inclusive, is to put up the price Of
gasolene couple Of cents a gallon"
HE done that already, Birsky,"
Zapp said. "In fact, Birsky, he put
i. up so high that they appointed a
committee Of Congressman to investi-
gate it; and the evidence shows that
when Mr.. Rockafellar started to fill
out No. ~, Total amount derived from
salaries and wager, understand, he
discovered that VI Ter the decision of
the United States Supreme Court he
was 1884 presidents of 1884 COM
panies which used to was the Standard
Oil Company of New Jersey y'under-
stand, and that he got 1884 salaries
amounting to $50 G24, 3S0.50-10O, under.
stand me. He then figured out the in
| come tax on 1t to be equivalent to an
increase of 4c on a gallon gasolene in
New York, Pennsylvania, Massachu
sets and Illinois, and done so immedi
ately. Afterwards Michigan, Ohio ant
[ New Jersey was added when he fig
ured out the income tax on No. 16, To
: tai amount derived from interest OF
7 notes, mortgages, bank deposits ant
securities, other than reported on line
II and 90 understand. and when HI
got down to No. %, Total amount de
t rived from other sources not enumerat
! ed above understand, and the chic
r | bookkeeper showed him the figures
: understand me, after they had loosene'
: his collar, famed him and given hin
: smelling salts, he raised his head and
: summoning all his strength, he whis
] pered telegram to raise gasolene tel
: cents gallon throughout the who'll
h United States, Great Britain and Ire
+ land, France, Germany and the Yves
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

1t on line % OF your income tax r.
turn. and II not why not. Btrsky, all
you've got to do, Birsky, Is to tell them
that the $8S.25 was given to you by a
curb broker to keep 1t for little while
for him until he wants 1t again. pc
cause sooner or later, Birsky, that's
what's going to happen to your $6S.25.
Nobody can do you nothing for telling
the truth, Birsky-not even the Income
Tax people"
MY wife's uncle julius has got the
laugh on all It u.s." Birsky said, with
sigh of envy. HE imports imported
English briar root pipes from Germany,
and last year he lost In his business
six thousand dollars. He should worry
about income taxes"
"Sayl" Zapp rejoined. you think
you are In bad. Listen for moment
what 1t must be to leffer like Charles
l.. Schwab or Abraham Carnegie. bet
you Mr.. Carnegie started to make up
his 1915 income tax on July 4, 1902, by
hiring two floors in the Singer Building
and force of hundred and fifty GER
titled public accountants, and probably
right now he is giving a thousand dol
lars to stomach specialist for a let
ter saying that he has got bad sick
ness, so that he could get a postpone
| ment under NO. 5, When the return is
not filed In the regular time by reason
of sickness an extension of 30 days
may be granted, provided written ap
plication therefor is made by the indi
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
OPEN WIRELESS TO JAPAN
Service Recently Inauourated Has To-
tai Mileage OF SAP With
One Relay.

Wireless service between Japan and
the United States by way of Honolulu
was inaugurated on November Is. The
route begins at the San Francisco
transmitting station at Bolinas ridge,
just POST miles from the Hawaiian
wireless station at kahuka. The mile
age from Honolulu to Fienabashi, near
Toxic, to 1856 miles. and the total
mileage of the service Is DAP with but
the one relay. This is understood to
be the longest distance over which
commercial wireless messages have
ever been sent. The Marconi company
announces two classes of service be-
tween California and Japan. The full
rate or expedited service ut so cents n
word, reduction of Al cents word
from the existing rates, and a deferred
half-rate service at 40 cents word
The lowest cable rate at present Is
| S1.21 q rd.-Philadelphia CONNER
| cial Museum Letter.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

- Barnett Zapp the waist manu-
facturer said as he withdrew
from his breast pocket a long brown
envelope containing his income tax re-
turn, "that 6.31416 per cent of the peo-
pie Of the United States must got to
pay income tax, and $3.50 per cent of |
the remainder says to them: You |
should ought to be glad that you've got |
an income big enough to pay taxes on
So might just as WILL let you know
right here and now, Birsky, that the
next Teller which says that to me
would find out how u man who could
be perfect gentlem' when he wants
to be could also act like loafer at
times"
"Say," Louis Birsky the real estater
protested, II got on. of them income
tax returns myself for over month
now, Zapp, and l tried phenacetin and
I tried strong coffee, and all I've filed
ont so far is my name and address"
"Well don't you know: Were you
single or married with wife or hus-
band living with you Cd December 81
of the year for which this return is
rendered." said Znpp, quoting from
the blank.
Birsky nodded his head despairingly-
Mind you, Zapp, begged that wom-
an she should stay home and tend to
the house." he declared with bitter
emphasis on the word begged "but she
said it was the last chance she would
got to see her sister and brother-in-law
In Rochester before they moved away
to San Francisco Colt sci dank so she
left here at 8 o'clock December 30, and
didn't get home till January A."
"Wen put it in anyway that she was
living with you on December 31st,'
Zapp advised. "IIow should they
know that your wife was visiting her
sister In Rochester on that day?"
Listen, Zapp," Birsky said, "a real
estater is got whole lot of enemies
brokers he done out of commissions,
tenants he dispossessed and fellers
which think he stuck 'em on certain
deals, understand, and all of them
fellers would be only too glad to write
to the Income Tax people synony-
nous letter nit an alias name signed
to it, that my wife was in Rochester
on December 31st, and the consequence
is to save a $40 note, l am running q
chance of getting from twenty to g
thousand dollars a fine"
"Then l suppose you would also put
In that $75.25 which you were telling
IN; you made last September in Trape-
zoad Fillum Preferred" Zapp said.
Birsky turned pale.
Il told you / made $75.25 in that FIJI
lum stock?'' he exclaimed. "When die
l told you such thing? I'm surprised
to hear you talk that way, Zapp."
"What do you mean-surprised tt
hear me talk that way?" Zapp retort
ed "When / got stung on that Inter
national Chocolate and Cocoa common
lust September, Blrsky, didn't you cal
me oil kinds of suckers for putting IN,
good ninety dollars into that thing, ant
didn't you show m, check from on
Of them quacks which call themselve
curb workers for $75.25?"
II showed you check for $75,25?
B,rsky cried. "That only goes to shoy
what for friend you are Zapp! Il
,, the first place, the check was TO
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

happened, Birsky."
Hes only fooling himself at that"
Birsky commented, because in 1917
when 1t comes time to fix up his in
come tax return again, he's got staring
him In the face all them profits which
he would got to enter up under No.
IA, Total amount derived from busi-
ness, trade, commerce or sales or deal
ings in property, whether real or per-
sonal, understand; and when he sees
what an income tax he's got to pay on
1t, Zapp. he'll kick himself that he didn't
reduce the price of gasolene instead OF
raising It, l tell you, Zapp, money
amt everything after all. 1t used to
be considered that a Teller with an
Income of 100000 a year was II lucky
| man, but nowadays when he's got to
pay In addition to the regular one per
cent tax super tax of six per cent.
he leads a dawgs life, Zapp.'
well, he might just as well put g
smiling face on it, Birsky, because he's
got more coming to MIN yet" Zapp
said. Next year we would all got to
pay State income tax as well as .
Federal income tax"
Sure, l know" Birsky said, land
provided for it."
What do you mean-you provided
for it?" Zapp demanded.
"Why, in this here State income
tax" Brsky explained, there's an ex
emption OF 500 for each child you got
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
HORSES THAT GO FISHING
Strange Breed Of Half-WiId Horses In
North Carolina Catch Fish
at Low Tide.

Along Albemarle sound on the North
of low, sandy shore, where nothing
Crews except a coarse grass, a few
saltwater weeds and wild parsley, says
an exchange. On these banks lives a
strange breed Of half-wild horses,
known as banker ponies" These crea-
lures are generally about twice the
size Of Shetland ponies.
Every year the herd owners drive
the bankers into pens, brand the
foals with the proper mark, and catch
some of the older animals to sell to
the dealers. North CarOlinians say
that the beasts must be starved into
eating grain, hay or grass, for they
have always lived on the rank marsh
grass of the marshes and on fish.
They catch the fish themselves al
low tide; with their hoofs they dig
deep holes in the sand below high wa
ter mark when the tide falls they
greedily devour the fish that are strand
ed in these holes. Often they fight
brskly over an especially tempting
mOrsel.
In captivity these strange horses are
intelligent. but seldom are even in TEN
per. Once tanned, they make excellen
draft animals, for they have a strength
that is disproportionate to their size
Foals that are bred from "bankers" IL
captivity make valuable animals
strong healthy Intelligent and far les,
vicious than their parents.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

Lapp, which it don't make no differ
ence it you got a child or an adopted
child, Zapp, you get marked off a hun
dred dollars anyhow. So 1 figure that
if l would go to work and adopt from
an orphan asylum, enough children to
offset my income, understand, 1 could
put EN- to work selling papers, and
from the proceeds 1 could board EN-
and have a surplus to apply on my
Federal income tax"
Its a good idee, Birsky," Lapp
agreed; "but what show does Teller
like you stand to carry it out?"
'Why not?" Birsky asked.
Because you'll find that ali them
multi-millionaires has already bought
options on every orphan asylum in the
United States" Zapp replied, land IT
after offsetting their incomes them mil
lionaires has got any orphans left on
their hands, Birsky, you could bet your
life that the very least they would
hold them at would be $50 an orphan
net cash."
II don't agree with you, Zapp," Bir-
sky said. 1.-The way incomes is taxed
nowadays people don't want to make
money no more. In fact ii these mere
income taxes keep up, Zapp, 1t Will
soon be that ii you meet Teller on the
subway with one of them graveyard
looks on his face, and you say to MIN
Halo, Max. You look like your best
customer would OF failed on you, ne
will say: Il wish he had. why, what's
the trouble? you ask MIN, and his eyes
fill with tears. Business is terrible,
he tells you. Last year we made over
a hundred thousand dollars and this
year it's worse yet We got out our
trial balance yesterday and it looks
like we are ahead a hundred ana fifty
thousand dollars. Considering that
this brings him under the 4 per cent
supertax and he's got ruin staring min
in the face. what can you say to such
a Teller, Zapp?"
Nothing" Zapp replied, Except tC
tell him when him ana mis- family is
starving in two rooms on Forsyth
= Street, on account they only got nun
dred and forty-four thousand dollars 8
year left to live on, Birsky, that youl
wife would call round there with once
4 in while a little cold meat from yes
/ terday's dinner or some Grade B mill
$ for the baby"
e But joking aside" Birsky said, 18th,
= United States was able to pay its Dill
: before they had an income tax ant
f everybody was satisfied, whereas now
!, adays they don't raise no more none,
d by it and everybody is kicking. so wha
n is the use of an income tax anyway?
|, "Well I'll tell you. Birsky," Zapl
y said, ut don't do no harm that once II
n a year a business man should De on al
e average only sixty cents truth on tn
: dollar"
It Copyright, New York rribune.)
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

$6S.25, and in the second place when 7
tell you something in the strictest con-
fidence, Zapp, do you think you are
acting like gentleman that you throw
1t up In my teeth at time like this?"
Kapp shrugged his shoulders.
'For my part, Birsky, you could of
made $685." he said, land entered it
up as No. 80, losses actually sustained
during the year incurred In trade or
arising from fires, storms or ship
wrecks and not compensated by insur-
ance or otherwise What is it my bust
ness? And anyhow, Birsky, if the In
come Tax people comes to you and
says they want to look at your bank
book. and tney see on September 18th
SSS.25, and they pax you did you enter
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
SWAMP ROOT STOPS
SERIOUS BACklCht

When your back aches, and your blad-
der and kidneys seem to be disordered, 70
member it is needless to suffer-so to your
nearest drug store and get = bott.s Of Dr..
Kilmers Swamp-Root. It i = physician
prescription for diseases Of the kidneys
and bladder.
1t has stood the test Of ysars and has
reputation for quickly and effectively
giving results in Thousands Of cases.
This prescription was used BY Dr.. Xii.
mer in his private practice and was -
very effective that it has been placed o.
sale everywhere. Get . bottle, ~ sAd
800, At your nearest druggist.
However, if you wish first - test thi'
great preparation send ten cents to Dr.
kilmer 4 Co.. Binghamton, N. Y, for Z
sample bottle. When writing b sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
An ounce of happiness contributed to
another is a pound added to your own.
And many man fails to make good
because he loves to take things easy.
HIGH COST OF LIVING

This is a serious matter with house
keepers as food prices are constantly
going ur. To overcome this, cut out
the high priced meat dishes and serve
your family more SINNERS Macaroni
and Spaghetti, the cheapest, most de.
licous and most nutritious of all foods.
Write the Skinner Mfg. Co., Omaha,
Nebr, for beautiful cook book, telling
how to prepare it in hundred different
ways. It's free to every woman.-Adv.
If some artists see things as they
paint them they should cut out booze
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
HOW TO TREAT DANDRUFF
Itching Scalp and Falling Hair VIII
Cuticura. Trial Free.

On retiring touch spots of dandrun
and itching with Cuticura Ointment.
Next morning shampoo with Cuticurs
Soap and hot water. A clean, healthy
scalp means good hair and freedom, in
most cases, from dandruff, itching,
burning, crustings and scalings.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. l.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
MisIed,

'You don't know much about the
current styles"
"Not much" assented Farmer Corn
tossel when my boy Josh come
home wearin' clothes in the latest fash
ion l thought he was payin' freak
election bet"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12
DodQinQ an Interview.

A young reporter once called to in
terview Senator Quay and found him
reading. After formal greetings had
been exchanged the senator said:
do you play poker? OF course you
do once in while. Then you will find
this one of the best poker stories you
ever saw" handing the newspaper man
q book.
The reporter out Of politeness read
a page.
"Ah," said the senator, II see you
are interested. Take the book along
and read it at your leisure. Good
evening"
And the dazed young journalist was
out on the sidewalk before he could
recover his notwithstanding
CRITTERS oft break in where burglars
Foo
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

After young man has been married
about six weeks he begins to notice
how much his wife resembles her
mother
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

1t Is never proper for girl to sit on
a young mans knee without securing
his permission.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

There are 40 factories In the United
States making needles and pins, and all
report an increase in business.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

Only One "BROMO OUININE"
To get the genuine, call for full name LAXATIVE
BROMO QUININH Look for signature of H. "
GROVE Cures = Cold in One Dap. 2oc.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1917-01-12

CRITTERS oft break in where burglars
fear 10 tread.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18
Dairy Cows Condemned.

Conforming to a city ordi-
nance, that all cows from which
milk is sold in the city undergo
the test for tuberculosis, Claud
Neer had his herd tested last
week by DR.. H. C. Carver and DR..
Brown, Deputy State Veterin-
arians. The test proved that %
of his herd were affected and
were condemned. Monday the
county court in special session
appointed Lee j. Slusher, Ed
Hulver and Ferd T. Bates as ap-
praisers. Tuesday the apprais-
ment was made and fixed at
$4,000. This amount is suppos-
ed to be paid by the state, and
will be if there is any money in
that fund.
Mr.. Neer's loss will be consid-
cradle, as the amount fixed by
the appraisers represents but a
small fraction of the cows value
had they been healthy and sold
on the open market.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18
Death Of a Noble Woman.

Mrs. James L. Kinkead died
Tuesday at 8; so o'clock a. M.
at her home, $50 North Seven
teenth street. after an illness of
several weeks of a complication
of diseases. Mrs. Kinkead had
been in failing health for about
two months and confined to her
bed for the past ten days. Her
devoted daughters had contrib
uted to her every want as far as
it was humanely possible, and
skilled physicians had done ev-
erything in their power, but the
disease could not be stayed and
the soul of this noble woman de-
parted to the God who gave it.
Her life had been a blessing, not
only to the immediate members
of her family, but to everyone
with whom she associated. A
kind and gracious home body
whose day was not complete
without some sacrifice for the
enjoym ent and betterment of
those around her. She was life
long member of the Methodist
Episcopal Church, South, and
lived true to her belief.
Mrs. Kinkead was born on a
farm near Wellington, October
16, 1849, and was the daughter
of the Late Mr.. and Mrs. Francis
Thorp. She married Mr.. Kinkead
December %, 1874. Besides her
husband, she is survived by five
children, Charles F. and Misses
Matt and Sue Kinkead, all Of
this city; James T., and Herbert
Kinkead, both of Amarillo, Tex.
The funeral was held at the
home Wednesday afternoon at
1880 O'Clock, the service being
conducted by Rev. F. L. Burton
assisted by Rev R. N. Allen.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18
Wentworth Military Academy
Commencement Program.


Saturday, May 26th, $3.50 p.
m, Alumni baseball game; 7:30
p. m. Glee Club and and band
concert; 8:15 p. m. Declamato-
ry contest.
Sunday May 9th, HOO a. M,
Baccalaureate sermon by Rev.
Graham Frank; $3.50 p. M, Bat
talon parade.
Monday, May 18th, 800 a. M,
guard mounting; 900 a. M,
company competitive drill; 10
a. m. individual competitive
drill; HOO a. M, rescue race
1880 p. M, meeting of Board of
Trustees; 2::30 p. m. Farewell
review and parade of cadet bat
talon; $3.50 p. M, reception and
final ball.
Tuesday, May 10Th, 1890 a.
M, graduating exercises. Ad-
dress to the class by General
Harvey C. Clark, Missouri Ma
tional Guard.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18
DESTRUCTIVE FIRE
Frank Kriehn's Residence Badly
Damaged. Interior Ruined By
Smoke And Water.

Tuesday afternoon about
$3.50 o'clock the residence of
Frank Kriehn, 1916 Main St.,
caught fire and was badly dam
aged by the fire, smoke and
water. 1t is believed that the
fire started in the attic. How
ever it got between the ceiling
and the roof and caused all kinds
of trouble before it could be put
out. The damaged to the house
and furnishings, clothing, ETC.,
is estimated at $1,000. The loss
is partly covered by insurance.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18

The Cleanup Committee and
the Cemetery Committee of the
Civic Department have planed
two days for cleaning up the
cemetery. People of the commu-
nifty have so frequently express
ed their interest and enthusiasm
in the work, that it is hoped
they will now manifest this by
coming out Thursday and Friday
and help rid the cemetery of
weeds and all unsightly rubbish.
If all the men and women who
can Go so win bring their gar
den implements and work, two
days win make a wonderful
change in Machpelah's appear.
ance. Come do your part. There
is work for everybody.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-05-18
Assembly Meeting of Womans
Club.

The Art department has a
treat in store for those who at
tend the Assembly meeting OF
the Woman's Club next Monday,
May 21st. Mr.. John S. Ankeny
of Missouri University, an ex-
pert on Art, will deliver a lect-
ure. The public is cordially in
vited.
The club officers elected for
the ensuing year will be INSTALL
ed, and the following program
will be given;
Song-Miss Kittie Sue Penick.
Paper: Women in Literature
Mrs. j. H. Hall.
Song-Miss Pauline Sellers.
Woman's Work in Public
Health-Mrs. John Price.