Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-10-26

how that does not seem as good rea-
son as ! had expected. 1t did not
have the convincing effect on Pinch
bug had hoped. 1t is strange that
l the truth should not be convincing.
APRIL 17-Cold today. No Rob-
ms | heard that Pinchbug was say
Z ing that being afraid of being hurt is
no excuse for not protecting ones
/ wife and children. ones home. ones
land and liberty. When he came in
| today told him l had been mistaken
in what coscientiously objected to.
told him that upon holding commu-
lion with my soul / had found that l
had conscientious objections to bear
iEg thorns. He seemed impressed /
have sent word all over the field-on
the quiet-that it is now a simple
matter to avoid being drafted into
the Protective Cohort. All one has to
do is to say one has conscientious OBJ
jectioEs. That poor fool of Pinch
bug! lie actually thinks | have
given a real reason for avoiding a
duty. I am going to tell my wife to-
day that | have conscientious objec-
lions to supporting our family. 1t is
a good idea, this conscientious objec-
tor idea-xthy not push it along?
APRIL 17-Warmer today. l have
had the shock of my life! A Butter
fly passed today and told me the Rob-
ms are actually on the wing and have
devastated whole fields to the South
and that there is every reason to be-
lieve they will come here, l am all
of tremble. M wife gave birth to
90 little Earthwnrms today and
have named 80 of them David. The
next 80 | have named Starr. | shall
have to postpone the naming of the
last 80 until tomorrow | am so ner-
vous. But shan't be drafted! I will
not be conscripted! / won't do my
duty to my field. l am pure white
soul--no, that's not it! I'm little
less than the angels-no. that's not
it! What the dickens is it am that
even Pinchbug relieves me of doing
| my duty? Pm afraid-no, that's not
it! Oh, I remember! I'm a conscien-
tious obiector | have conscientious
objections to getting hurt-no. that :
not it! l have conscientious objec-
| tons to taking up thorns in defense
of my field-that's it! l musn'T for
get that; the draft commission may
sit any minute and ask me why l am
not doing my duty.
APRIL 1S-Much warmer The
Butterfly passed again today and says
the Robins are much nearer and are
headed this way. l was terribly
| frightened, but don't think the
Robins will hurt me if they do come
to this field | have sent out $4,000
circulars organizing the Emergency
Slackers' League, the Association for
the Prevention of Thorn Bearing, and
the Anti-Military Bund. All the
members of all three organizations
are the same men and women, but II
makes us seem much more powerful
to have three organizations instead oil
one. Already eight Earthworms and
two Snails have joined my three or.
carnations. If we can shout loud
enough we may seem like host and
if Robins do come to this field they
will not hurt me because l have done
SO much to interfere with the prepar-
ationS for defense. / think | am
quite clever Here I am considered
PrO-Insect with conscientious objec-
tions, but the Robins will undoubted-
ly consider me Pro-Robin when they
have heard what l have done. I an
safe either way. My wife is doing as
we'll as can be expected under the cir
cumstances. l have named the last
80 of my children Jordan 1t is the
name of a river.
/ APRIL 19-Warm again today
Thousands of worms and insects that
are glad to take up thorns to defend
the field. but who have waited for
CONSUMPTION were drafted today, but
/ escaped. l explained my conscien-
tious objections. but luckily remem-
bered to avoid saying my real objec-
ton was to being hurt. I guess l am
safe enough now. The beetles and
bugs and thorn-bearing worms will
protect the field and me. My poor
wife. SILLY creature. is doing almost
as much work as Matchmaking
bandages. filling our garden. caring
for the children-and I am quite han
/ by. l feel that If the Robins come to
our field they will look on me as 3
sort of half-woman and not worth
harming. hope so.
APRIL 20-The Robins are here!
They are in this very field! The Pro-
tective Cohort lis going toward the
Southern end of the field at this mo-
ment to do it's best to defend the field
hope | am safe enough. I curse this
warm weather that forces me to come
to the surface of the field. | wish
| could dig myself in 10 feet decent