Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1917-03-14
ETIQUETTE
Learn the Art Of Being
Your Own Self.
BY LUCILLE DAUDET.

HV . you dare to be yourself? In
H certain circles il is looked up
I'LL on as "shockingly bad taste"
this being ones own self. The
pitfall OF the social error is a great OBJ
stacle TO unhampered individuality. To
60 beyond the paling of the conven-
tons is to court criticism, and MANY
or us are prone to take as our stand
ard What will people saw" rather
than the more rational What does nv
heart say? Personal charm is unmis-
takable. yet the basis Of all true per-
sonal charm is just being ones own
self l have before my mind an in
stance wherein an otherwise winning
personality is completely lost sight OF
by the almost slavish regard for the
rigor OF the social code. Any play OF
the emotions is in bad form. To show
surprise is bad taste, and a lady never
laughs. These are but a few of the
technicalities Of the sometime ell.
quette. In consequence the express
sion OF ones individuality becomes the
hallmark OF III. breeding.
A code Of this sort does much 10
bear out the erroneous idea that 10 be
socially correct in word and deed is to
be artificial, and that society in gem
eral IS synonymous with artihciality.
Judging from the example set by GER
tain members of society. this becomes
a seii-eVident truth. More often than
not, we meet people who observe the
stfictest formality, who are almost
universally recognized as the persona
hcation or tact; yet to the untutorcd
and the keenly observant their verv
tact becomes an inexplicable oppres-
sion. We are every one of us familiar
with the hostess who neglects no sin
gle detail which is supposed to nut us
AZ our ease, yet who leaves so much
OF her own personality out of the prep-
aration that the result is ANYTHING hut
easy And all because of form
There is so much Of It that instead OF
serving the splendid purpose for which
1t originally stood. that of giving grace
and distinction to the exercise OF kind
liness and common courtesy. il is a
vertable obsession. On the other hand.
who has not experienced the we'll
meant but awkward attention of the
person who. either through ignorance
or prejudice, holds in contempt the lit
tie vanities that go toward making so
interesting? And then there is the
ideal lust between" but so rare indi-
vidual who acts impulsively and at the
same time with such nicely that his
combined sincerity and grace give him
charm-the enviable but acquirable
where the heart book Is the guide.
Not infrequentE occasions arise that
offer problems not solvable in the en-
cyclopedia of etiquette. II Is then thai
discretion, good taste and due regard
for the FINER sensibilities" OF the Oth.
er man must meet the emergency, anc
he who finds himself solely dependent
on precedent for an answer gives W
or bungles dreadfully. sympathy ant
understanding must be the distinguish
Ing qualifications of the asplrant to
success in dealing either socially OF
commercially with others. Courtesy
in the business world plays no sinai
part in the attainment OF success
Failure in this respect is due some
times to an underestimation OF one
self or ones capabilities, and when
emergencies arise-and they are IN
evitable-the self-conscious person
fares about as we'll as the too clos'
student Of the etiquette book.
So again, dare to be yourself, conn
dent of your own ability TO understand
and sympathize, to not entirely dlsre
gard the conventions. to observe th'
strictest formality where 1t is neithe'
superAuous nor pretentious to do so
and your course of action must needs
lie open and easy. A fine point to re
member is this: Fine breeding is new
or conscious, never ELUSIVE; II Il
wholesome and at the same time OF ex
uuisite delicacy; it is unmistakable
and very essence Of true persona
charm.