The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-01
Dorothy Di1 Says
BY DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer
The Pebble in the Shoe.

The Pebble in the Shoe.
A woman writes me that she is
married to a man who is a model of
all the virtues-who is good and kind,
moral and upright, sober and indus
trious and sweet tempered-but that
she is perfectly miserable and has be-
come a nervous wreck because he does
all the little things that crate upon
her.
She is very neat and tidy and or
derby and he throws things around the
house and drops cigar ashes on the
floor and scatters newspapers as he
goes.
She is very particular about her
clothes and takes good care of them
to work, and she has to watch him
like a hawk to see that he changes
his shirt and collar every day and has
a fresh handkerchief in his pocket.
She cherishes her furniture and her
household belongings as the apple of
her eye, and he scratches the piano
and muses. the sofa cushions and
spots the table cloth
And when she tells him about what
high crimes and misdemea nors he is
committing, this aggravatihg husband
doesn't even answer her back. He
just smiles and says that PEOPLE with
don't-worry disposition ike his live
to be ninety. And his wife says that
it's all killing her, and what shall she
do?
And when I read the letter I didn't
know whether to laugh or cry, be-
cause in the face of the great TRACE
dies that / have seen devastate mar
ried life so often, a soiled collar or a
pair of silk socks or a spot on the
table cloth seems so poor thing for
one to wreck ones happiness over.
1 thought of the wives l have
known whose husbands feet were a
shame to them when they came
stumbling, blind drunk, up the street,
and I thought that these women
would not have cared what kind of
socks their husbands had on if they
had been sober enough to walk
straight! 1 thought of wives who sat
up night after night, solitary and
alone, their hearts torn by every de-
mon of suspicion and jealousy, while
they waited for disSolute husbands,
and I thought how gladly these wo-
men would have picked up papers and
Strengthened up after thei. husbands
if only their husbands would have
spent their evenings at homei
And I thought of cruel husbands
who never spoke to their wives except
to say something that cut like whip;
and of tyrannical husbands before
whom their wives trembled; and of
grouchy husbands who made their
homes like a funeral parlcr in which
no one had the heart or courage to
speak above a whisper, an6 thought
how gladly would any of these wives
change places with the woman whose
husbands only faults are that he isn't
tidy and dressy and careful of the fur
niture.
Nevertheless, this unhappy wife's
grievance is real grievance and it is
| true that she is letting it wreck her
| life. The pebble in the shoe can spoil
the finest outing and the grain of sand
~, he frnr1 he
most beauteous landscape.
OF course the chief fault in this
particular case where marriage is
! proving a failure is the woman's. She
| is making a mountain out of a mole
hill Providence having vouchsafed
/ her no real trouble, she has gone to
work, woman like, and manufactured
I a whole bunch of suffering and mar
| tyrdom out of nothing. If she had an
ounce of common sense or philosophy
she would follow old Omar's advice
and take the sweet and let the bit
! ter co. and pick UP after her husband
and wash out the spots on the table
cloth and thank God that she hadn't
anything worse to do.
The husband, however, is to blame
this far, that he laughs at his wife's
point of view instead of trying to gel
it. A happy marriage necessitates
many adjustments and none is more
important than for husband and wife
to see the little things of daily life
from the same angle and get the same
perspective on them. 1t doesn't dc
for one to regard them as trifles an6
the other as matters of life and death
This is particularly true in the mat
ter of personal neatness. Women are
always being advised as to the neces
sity of keeping themselves looking at
tractivc to their husbands, and are
warned that frowsy wrappers and cur
papers and sloppiness and slovenlines:
disgust
band on earth.
Nobody ever says a word to mer
about keeping themselves barberee
and shaved, and with spotless linens
and well pressed clothes in order tt
retain their wives affection. Yet wo
men care a thousand fold more fo
looks and good clothes than men do
and nothing is more calculated t.
wreck loves young dream than a three
| days Stubble of beard on a masculine
chin, hair that struggles over a soilet
collar, and a suit that looks as if i
has been slept in and that sugges
that the owner ought to wear a bill
when he eats.
always looks as if she had just com,
out of band box can keep in low
with a husband who looks as if h
needed to be run thru a steam laun
dry and the grass mower, is one o
the mysteries of the feminine hear
that we shall never understand. Per
haps she doesn't. Anyway, the the
DRY that a wifes affection is proc
| against her husbands slovenliness i
one that men will do we'll not to pu
too much faith in. Other wives ma.
secretly be disenchanted as this com
: planning wife is.
; Also it is undoubtedly discoura gin,
, to a woman who is trying to keep
neat house to have a husband VIII,
passes thru it like a cyclone, leaving
destruction in his wake, and VIII
doubles and trebles her work by neve
! putting anything back where he got it
This is rank unauthorized selfshnes
for which there is no excuse.
, To the woman who is letting he
good, kind, generous husbands littl
| faults blind her to all his big virtues