The Washington herald., 1917-08-04
@And Sam Got Sour"

/ anu 60m 0Ot SouKs
II milk goes up In price 1t will be
partly the fault Of Sam Herndon. Sam
does not work for the health depart
ment or any OF the dairymen. but his
strong dislike for milk bottles threat
ems the industry. He had an argu-
ment several days ago with some
friends and something happened to
make the milk bottle factories sit up
and take notice.
II happens that Sam is not given
much to words and he stood around
and listened to the men arguing and
then he went over to a case of empty
milk containers and began throwing
them very much like they throw
! bombs n the trenches. Sam didn't
think that all the broken glass on
| the street might cause the tire repair
places to be rushed and that some
thing might happen because folks
wouldn't have bottles to, put milk in,
but feels better now that the court
fined him $40. A--
| who Took Charlie's Shirt
shirtless, hatless and almost pants
less, Charlie Banks faced Judge Pugh
! in colrt yesterday morning and the
Judge sent him down the river for
thirty days. But what worries Char
lie is his shirt. How he lost 1t he
does not know. He's not even sure
that he lost it. 1t was a pretty shirt,
with little Cupids on the front and
voluptuous maidens portrayed on the
| sleeves.
| Who swiped 1t must have taken IT
Off of Charlie without taking his vest
| OF. He didn't sell 1t for liquor. The
hat and torn trousers don't cause the
least worry; it's the shirt which has
made Charlie lose sleep and flesh.
Charlie was walking around dressed
a trifie too cool for weather such as
we had the first part of the week,
so that II is easily seen what made
the cop arrest him. So it's goodnight
shirt" for Charlie, and he's out SO
Maggie Was Real Useful.
Railroad officials should be informed
| OF the condition of the masonry which
| supports the tracks which cross Vir-
ginia avenue southwest. at Four-and-
a-half street. The first intimation We
had that something was wrong was
in court yesterday morning. Maggie
Owens, alias forty other different
names, the most prominent of which
is Mrs. Paderewski," came to the
rescue of the wall Thursday after
noon and was holding 1t up when a
policeman came along and relieved
her.
He had quite a time to convince
| Maggie that the wall would stand
without her help and he had to pull
her away and show her that the wall
really would stand. Womanlike. Mag
gle became very indignant and said
that no cop had a right to arrest a
Mrs. Padarewski." She does not
play the piano, but she had been play
ing a tattoo on a can OF suds and
that was the reason she has to serve
thirty days.
$50 She Does.)
Jedge, All wurks, All wurks every
day in the week and on Sunday, too"
But the judge wouldn't believe Flor
ence Williams. Florence was arrest
ed after Policeman Purcell had be-
come tired of chasing her of the
street. 1t was true that Florence
"wurks all the time" but 1t is her
jaws she "wurks'' and not her arms.
She hasn't worked since she began
frequenting lunchroom on Four-and-
a-half street. The Jaw exercise con-
sisted of eating and talking. But
Florence could not prove that she was
paid for her chin music or chewing
her food. Since Mr.. Whitaker is
short of help. Florence will visit him
for sixty days unless some kind
friend has so.
Monday Was Stung, Thursday.
The way to a mans heart is through
his stomach. Likewise the way tc
his wallet is also on the same track
This is how Rufus Monday went last
Thursday to a lunchroom famed fol-
its beans and Goldfish cakes. He hao
heard that food was scarce, SO he
loaded up and when a man gets al
much grub as Rufus had he becomes
drowsy and snoozes off.
Now a man with s34 in his pocket
shouldn't go to sleep in a strange
place and no one knows it better nov
than Rufus. Tom Dawson turned his
X-ray on Rufus pocket and the 50.
just few out in Toms hand. Tom
then ran about five miles with a
waiter in pursuit. In court yesterday
morning 1t appeared that Tom and
Rufus had patched up their differ.