The Washington herald., 1917-10-18
GOOD MORNING
JUDGE

By RUDOLPH 'PERklN

DuL when ne ufihhs JUST Can I
stand him."
well, III fine him s2o." said
Judge Pughl after listening to the
explanation of Bert Campbell for
assaulting his wife. Annie.
"Oh. please don't Judge" plead
ed the wife, IT don't want him
sent to Jail because ! know he can't
pay a fine"
well, replied the court. you say
he don't support you. he gets drunk
and beats you up and you say you
are scared to death OF him, so what
else am l pO:ng to do with him.
have to - something to put a
stop to all this"
Deep silence for a minute. "I can
suspend a thirty-day sentence and
il he comes after you again he will
certainly have to go to JAIL" said
the court.
1t was done and Bert went out
with a sentence hanging over him
to make him behave.
Swaps Don't Always Work.
On certain days OF the week AL
berta Jefferson gets a load of wood.
On other days Susie gets a load OF
coal. Everything is then ready for
some fire"
They borrow from each other Just
like they were brothers. Being
women they have a few "catty"
words together now and then.
Susie borrows wood and Alberta
helps herself to coal. Monday aft
ernoon they both severed diplo-
matte relations. No passports were
issued.
The next day Alberta came in
Susie's yard and took a sack of
coal just as she usually did. This
peeved Susie. 1t sure did.
In court they said scandaIous
things about one another. 1t was
enough to make you blush.
Judge Pugh thought that 1t was
case of six of one and a half
dozen of the other and as the coal
is not quite as valuable as gold he
took Alberta's personal bonds to be
a good girl.
There are two small children de-
handing Alberta's attention.
Ben is Satisfied Now,
The same old curiosity that once
Killed cat, sent Ben Dixon to Jail
for four months.
<iSsOOu was DuSy arreSting
an obstreperous person and Ben
butted in to see what was going on.
He thought Allegood needed some
help. So he helped him.
In the scuffle Ben bit Allegood's
finger and made for him with a coal
shovel. And right here Allegood poked
his gun in Ben's face and he changed
his mind.
Ben came near to having to fix
his feet for an awful long journey
over Jordon way.
After the gun-play Ben let loose with
SINE awful cuss words and IL actual
ly shocked the man who was al
ready under arrest for swearing.
His only excuse was curiosity and
the court thought that he may have
the same curiosity about the work
house and sent him there.
Bob Had A Narrow Escape.
Bob Chapman has been working
down the river" on a lumber scow. |
The other day he got a good scare. |
German carp jumped up in the |
river and made a face at him.
Right off the bat on payday Bob 1
bought a gun. Also few drinks.
After said drinks got in their work
he told some friends confidentially
that he was going to shoot some
Germans.
In court Bob proved that he had
just bought the weapon and as the
law permitted him to carry it home
the court put him on personal bonds
not to mix gin md gunpowder any
more.
Bob's boss put good word in for
him and Judge Pugh told him to take
Bob and the gun and keep them on
the boat.
The Natural Result.
"We1l spend our time a'drinkin'
cherry wine
Charlie johnson was singing this
little ditty at the house of Frances
Jackson where he roomed. Mamie
Mitchell was visiting Frances at the
time.
All hands were having gay time.
1t was a very bad combination this
one man and two women.
Soon Charlie threw glass at
Frances. He missed. Then Mamine
called him down for being a bad shot
and she got poked in the jaw. 1t
silenced her.
Both women got warrants. Charlie |
got pinched. Frances was tired of
having him as a ledger any way and
this was an excellent opportunity to
get rid of him.
The court gratihed her wish by send |
ing Charlie down for four long
months. two months in each case. ,
Goodnight?