The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-11-10
T ROUTE z.
concluded from page 81

in three quarters of an hour, and then
went back to the little house on the
top of the hill, to see if he had left
any letters in the box by mistake.
He hadn't though. That old widower
Jacobs lives there now, and he's been
writing to himself every day for the
past three weeks, but hasn't got a
single reply yet, the trouble being
with the daft man, that since the new
route has come in, he doesn't know
his right address," well why was
there no mail yesterday" asked Mrs.
McNab.
Because" said Mrs. Duffy, "the car
rier got confused, and couldn't put his
brakes on when he met himself com-
ing around Jobs corner. Then why
the deuce didn't we get it the day be-
fore?" exclaimed Mrs. McNab.
1.-THE poor man." continued Mrs.
Duffy, "says Motor Route M crossed
his path On the Factory Road, and he
got bewildered, so he took the letters
back to the General Post Office and
had them started all over again"
"And what becomes of the dead let
tiers nowadays" asked Mrs. McNab.
"They cremate them" replied Mrs.
Duffy. well" said Mrs. McNab,
they forgot to cremate a dozen fresh
eggs, | received from my brother who
lives a couple of miles away in South
meadow last Friday, and the Board of
Health fined me five dollars, for per-
hitting a nuisance to escape on the
premises when l opened one. Those
eggs must have taken a fancy to the
salt air, and they o~verstayed their
time at the Seaside City, but it spoilt
them entirely, and | haven't been able
to do a thing with them since.
Eggs are not protected by the Con-
stitution," Mrs. Duffy replied, land
therefore do not come under the title
of first-class mail. It's you yourself
who are to blame for allowing your
brother to use the mails for transport
ing p%erishable goods in war time. Be
more careful, nam in future and al
low only articles that will remain
fresh for an"
Zone moment please" Mrs. McNab
interrupted, here We live in Lititown
and according to the rules n regu-
lations of Section 8, Article LXIV Of
the Constitution of the United States,
we must give an address of a city if-
teen miles away. When my relativQ
that I've never seer before, visit me
next summer they'll expect to see the
waves from the sea breaking gently
over my potato patch, and it's a hard
time indeed will | have to convince
them that it's not the name of my
native town Pm ashamed of, but being
a law abiding citizen | must obey the
authorities and say l live in a place
| was only in twice in my whole life,
and how it is we live in two places at
once, so far apart, is what gets me
and the worry of it all is bringing on
an acute attack of the liver, so I'll
say good evening ma'am, and I'll write
to the President of the United States,
Lord bless him, to send a Secret Ser
vice man down here, and see IT he
can't find out where l live, for it's
bringing my gray hairs to the grave"
The sun sank to a sad, sad rest.
His face no longer beamed. The moon
has risen and is gazing pensively
down upon a thousand and one homes,
whose inmates are busily engaged in
looking over the map of New Jersey,
endeavoring to find with many a puz-
| zled frown, the exact location of that
almighty little City by the Sea.
Oct. rs, 1917.