The Washington herald., 1917-12-29

Once there was = man who was
foolish enough to interfere with
two scrapping women.
He met them as he was going to
work. The sight of fair dansels
getting ready to do some hair pull
ing was too much for him.
Ladies'" he began. de Good
Book says 1t Is wrong ter fight.
Befo' yo gets mad 20 should count
hunderd."
Look wot's buttin' in," remarked
Irene Howes. one of the pair. Lets
rough-nech1 him." said Josie Trun-
nellie, the other.
And they did. Irene stabbed him
with a hatpin- Josie bit on the
chin. His overcoat was torn to
shreds.
In the fracas Irene got a lick
over the eye that sent her to the
land of dreams. When she awoke
she was tucked in her own little
bed.
The man. Herbert Carter. looked
as IL he had just left a base hos
pital in France. Wrapped about his
chin was enough bandage to hang
him.
The court said he was very fool
ish to stick his fingers in the fire.
Let the women fight, the court sug-
gested, In fining him $40.
She Was n Suffragette.
"Jedge. cherry time Ah opens nah
mouf, my husband tries ter put his
fist in it. He keeps me busy going
to do dentist to git NAH teeth
fixed"
And what do you do to make
you husband treat you that wayr'
the court asked Maggie Leahman.
''onct in a while All hits back
ledge" replied Maggie. but he
treats me mean cause All am fat"
ledge. Jedge. Jedge." started
Josh. the hubby. see dat dere
woman dere?-Ah has ter do de
washin' en- de tronin'. All makes he
beds. All sweeps de floor en- All
cooks-but All draws de line on
washin' de dishes"
What has that got to do with
your going after her with a club?"
asked the court
"Ain't dat enough ter mex any
man go after her wild a club? Many
a man would do de same as All
~S~ NNACg NCCu uCg u.
Il can't see It that way" an
swered the court. "and you win
have to go to Jail for 80 days. I
think the variety of work in iail
is about the same as you say you
have been doing"
Them Women.
A good memory is valuable, and
II charlie Martin had known II and
appreciated it, he would be much
better off.
He called on his girl Wednesday
night. They sat in the kitchen be-
cause there was no fire in the par
lor stove.
Besides, Charlie had his working
clothes on anyhow. In his pockets
were some letters given him to mail
by a friend.
He had intended to get rid of
them quickly. as they were address
ed TO woman. His sweetheart had
habit or looking in his pockets.
he hung his coat on the back of
a chair. In moving around the
Kitchen, his girl. Samantha. notic-
ed them and surreptitiously ex-
tracted them.
fnen she excused herself for O
minute. While she was out Charlie
looked and missed those letters
Then he knew the Jig was up.
He was done for. he thought, He
knew very well he would be thrown
over. Just as well do something.
anyhow. he went on thinking.
He took Samantha's purse which
had been left on the table. Out he
went a'flying. Half an hour later
he was "in" a'fiying.
The cops had him on complaint
OF Samantha. She still has those
letters. Charlie tumbled into jaiI
for 80 days.
Much Ado About Nothing.
Rushing into the house one even
ing Harry Jackson threw his coat
over . chair and rushed upstairs.
His landlady. Ruth Clements, no.
ticed a peculiar sound about the coat
when 1t landed on the chair. She
went over and investigated.
In, the pocket she found Q loaded
pistol Horrified she put It back. She
sat down scared to death and won
dered what she should do.
Tiptoeing out quietly she went for
cop. Harry was still upstairs, |
swearing to himself and getting
ready, she thought, TO do some
harm.
Harry rushed downstairs put on
the COat and raIn as.f-s rlr1.s s.&. -. I