Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1917-04-26
5 Hepsey Burke )
3 A Sister. to David Har,un {
= By F. N. Westcott
By F. N. Westcott

Here Hepsey paused and twirling
her pencil between her lips, gazed
around at her auditors who were lis.
tening with breathless attention. Then
abe suddenly exclaimed with suppress.
cd wrath, and in her penetrating tones.
"What is the matter with you men
anyway? You'd have to pay your
butcher. or your baker, or your gro
Ger, whether you wanted to or not.
Then why In the name of conscience
don't you pay your parson? Certainly
religion that don't cost nothin' is
worse than nothin'. I'll tell you the
reason why you don't support your
parson; It's Just because your rec
tors a gentleman, and can't very well
kick over the traces, or balk, or sue
you, even II you do starve him. So
you, prosperous, big headed men think
that you can sneak out of it. Oh, you
needn't shuttle and look mad; you're
Eoin' to get the truth for once, and l
had Johnny Mullins lock the front
door before I began"
The whole audience responded to
this sally with laugh, but the speak.
sr relented not one iota. "Then when
you've smit your rector on one cheek
you quote the Bible to make him
think he ought to turn his overcoat
also" Another roar. "There: you don't
need to think Pm havin' a game. I'm
not through yet. Now let's get right
down to business. We owe our rector
lot of money, and he is livin' in
tent because we neglected to pay the
interest on the rectory mortgage held
by the Senior Warden of our church.
Talkin' plain business and nothin' else,
turned him out of house and home.
and we broke our business contract
with him. Y g we did! And now you
know it.
"Some of us have been sayin'-and
] was one of 'em till Mr. Maxwell cor.
rected me-that it was mean of Mr..
Bascom to turn the rector and his wife
out of their house. But business is
business, and until we've paid the last
cent of our contributions, we haven.
any right to throw stones at anyone.
Wait till we've done our part for thati
We've been the laughing stock of the
whole town because of our pesky
meanness. That tent of ours has
stuck out on the landscape like
horse fly on pillow sham.
IT'S not my business to tell how the
rector and his wife have had to econ.
omiZe and suffer, to get along at all;
or how nice and uncomplainin' they've
been through 1t all. They wouldn't
want me to say anythin' of that;
sportsmen they are, both of 'em. The
price of foods gone up, and the rec.
tors salary gone down like a teeter
on log.
Now, as I remarked before, let's
get right down to business. The only
way to raise that money is to raise it!
There's no use larkin' all round Robia
Hoods barn, or scampering round the
r'ulberry bush any longer. don't care
for fairs myself, where you have to
go and buy somethin' you don't want,
for five times what it's worth. and cali
1t givin' to the Lord. And don't care
to give chicken, and then have to
pay for eatin' the same old bird after.
wards. won't eat soda biscuits unless
l know who made 'em. Church fairs
are an invention of the devil to make
people think they're religious, when
they are only mighty restless and self.
ish.
'The only thing to do is to put your
bands in your trousers pockets and
pay, cash down, just as you would in
any business transaction. And by cash,
/ don't mean five cents in the plate
Sunday, and dollar for show on
Tuesday. We've none of us any bust.
ness TO pretend to give to the Lord
what doesn't cost red cent, as the
Bible sayc. somewheres. Now don't
get nerYnr". I'm going to start a sub.
Icription paper right here and now.
I'll save lots of trouble, and you ought
TO jump at the chance. You'll be vot-
I'M me plated ice water pitcher be.
tore we get through, for bein' so good
to you-just as a. little souvenir of the
evcnin'."
A disjointed murmur of disapproval
rose from sundry parts of the room
At this summary way of meeting the
emergency. Nelson, who had tried in
lin TO catch the eye of the chair, rose
81 :, venture and remarked truculent-
ly: r
"t.his is a most unusual proceeding.