The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1917-10-09
FAT MAN GETS HIS.
An Object of Pity. hut blamed for His
Condition.

| Minneapolis Journal: This section OF
the newspaper has stood up for the fat
man when hands and voices have been
raised against him-and viii continue
so To do. Sometimes 1t Is not go much
I his fault rs il is that Of his ancestry.
! The only fat men who are opposed
are those who refuse TO take such meas
ures of reduction as the simple and
proper device of chasing themselves for
II few blocks before breakfast or TAX.
| ing the column Doctors prescription Of
, somersault's. The fat man who does
these things should soon come down
somewhere towards normal There
will be exceptions.
The fat man IS usually good citizen.
! but now and then you meet a fat man
who is a bad man. One OF them is in
jail at Steubenville. o., and the other
prisoners do not love him any more
Twenty of these convicts had an es
cape from the jefferson county jail all
doped ont, and as the fat prisoner was
jolly and popular before the attempt
was made. he was allowed to lead the
procession.
Never again.
y. G. Strahan was the Fat man and
he is still in jail. He is spoken Of IN
the dispatches as corpulent~ The
prison guards happened 10 look up a,
the prison wall ana. to their surprise,
they saw two fat legs waving around
from a big hole In the wall. The sound
Of smothered profanity accompanied the
exercise. rrhe guards rushed in ard col
Jared fat man who was wedged in the
hole and who had in his hands useless
rope mad of blankets with which he had
proposed letting himself down to the
United States when once through the
hole Fortunately foi. the discipline of
the prison, Strihan couldn't quite worm
his bay window through the large open.
ing in the wall.
Nineteen other disappointed prison.
ers voiced their lack Of love for a fat
man.
The next time in that jaii. the human
umbrella gets the first chance at any
breach in the wall and the others fol.
low in the order of their weight in the
community of prisoners
When Colonel Roosevelt was having j
Il fine time as president of the United
states his pernicious activity around
the war office developed lot of fat cav
airy officers who had forgotten that
there might ever again he "A war and
whe had devoted themselves to the
pleasures of the table, letting the Unit.
ed States get along as it might in a de.
fenseless condition so far as their ef,
forts at keeping fit went.
The president never did a thing I'm,
"eVo,e MS energy 10 getting these boys
upon the upper. decks OF horses again.
1t was crime against fat humanity
These IA; officers haN grown more ac.
customed to TIE swivel chair than 10
the saddle, and the suffering they went
through in carrying out the orders of
The president is only compar arable 10 the |
suHerings of fat men in Flanders today !
III there are such. The censorship
happily conceals from us the misadven. |
lures OF the fat men there
Your human hoe handle can stand !
much and come out fit and hungry ue
ioes not know what it is to be saddle !
sore and mad at the world. President /
.ooseVet actually made these fat cav
any officers take i00-mile rides across
,ountry. now and then jumping fences
where the horses would stand for i,
Fi,hou, becoming 5owlegged in their 4
'acks. The practice withered up a lot
y swivel chair warmers like sausages
'aced over a hot fire. and they came
'ut OF the ordeal with opinions OF the
PRESIDENT that were not III for publica.
ion.
The thin soldier may smile at the
at ma on horseback. for he has little
onception of the utter misery endured
o'h by man and beast Fortunately
Or the corpulent officers. the cavalry
ranch has fallen into considerable dis
sc in this war.