davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

When you see Madge Evans in The
Little Duchess" you forget that this
accomplished little girl is acting. You
feel that she is actually experiencing
the sorrows and Joys and thrills Of
her young life. That is one Of the
reasons why this new World-Picture
Brady made. which will be seen on
Sunday at the Auditorium theater. is
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

The next chapter details a series
OF stirring incidents, including the
bombing OF a Red Cross hospital by
German aviators, the blowing oil Of
a church steeple where enemy forces
had mounted a machine gun. living
through a bOmbardment. and the
bombing of an enemy hOwitzer by an
ally aviator.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09
Brazil Plans Reprisals against Ger
manY.

many.
The chamber OF deputies Wednes-
day adopted all the measures recon-
mended by President Braz as repri-
sails against German aggressiOns.
These measures include the annul-
ment of contracts for public works
entered into with Germans; prohibit
ton of new land c~essiOns to German
subjects and of the transfer Of owner
ship of German properties: control of
German banks and German CONNER
cial firms. the internment Of German
subjects and a state of siege. Gener-
al Silva Faro, it is announced. Will be
appointed military governor Of Rio
JaneirO.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

The Horse Transport Comes Down
From the Trenches
date is the department Of stores and
accessories. The men in this depart
ment are not necessarily trained men.
but they must be good managers, as
they keep in stock all spare parts
which are likely TO be called for. Be
ddes this. they have charge OF the
petrol oil. crease carbide. tires for
light cars and. In fact. everything that
IS likely to be used on an automobile
The petrol is all sent from England in
two gallon tins. These tins are sealed
when they are filled and II a seal is
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

Italian troops stopped the German
and Austrian armies in Italy after
loosing 100000 in captured and $500
guns.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

SO thoroughly enjoyable. There are
plenty OF other reasons why this
photodrama is so very enjoyable
Among them are the swift moving
story, the splendid cast, the scenic
effects and the illustrated titles. II is
a certainty that you will be delighted
with this attraction, so make it a
point TO see It..
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

FOR SALE-Hotblast heating stove
and other household furniture. Mrs.
Carl lines. phone Al.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09
TEACHERS EXAMINATION.

: A teachers examination for all
classes of certificates will be held in
the court room, American Falls,
Thursday, Friday and Saturday, No
vember 10, 16 and IT. beginning at
$50 a. m.
All teachers not holding valid GER
tihcates are requested to be present.
HARRIET NJ. WILSON,
County Superintendent of Schools of
Power County. 11-2-6-9-13
Four Cleveland slackers have drawn
sentences of a year in Jail.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

TOR SALE-Zaring Grain company
has just received a car OF seed rye
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

statesmen WANTED-Owing TO draft
and enlistment We have a few we'll
worked territories open and will be
pleased TO hear from interested per
sons. Applicant must be exempt
from draft. McConnon & Company,
Desk A. Winona. MINI. 1876
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms. J.. T..
Sykes. II
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

FOR SALE-Rhode Island Reds, pure
bred ~cockerels, at D. L. Behrens.
Prices reasonable.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

FOR SALE-Twenty head Of Holstein
heifers and steers, coming two years
old this fall. Roy Roney, Aberdeen
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

FOR SALE-Grapes, 16-pound crate
$3.50 delivered to your post office
prepaid. Fairview Ranch, Twin
Falls. Idaho.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

for the farmers.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1917-11-09

for the farmers.
IRRIGATEDLAND FOR SALE-40-S0-
100 acre tracts. Easy payments
down. Write or come and see
Eaken & Machacek. Bull, Idaho.
11-6-8-13-16.
LOST-Bay mare, yearling. branded
II. VI. on left shoulder. Finder
please notify Pete Kliewer or leave
at the Farmers barn. American
Falls. Idaho. and receive reward.
1873.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
FARMERS UNION SECURE
CARL B. STOW MANAGER

on account of the growth of the
business of the Farmers Union As
sociation of Monte Vista, the board
OF directors deemed it necessary to
increase the business force and ac
cordingly have secured the services
OF Carl B. Stow as their general man
ager. Mr.. Stow entered upon his
duties August first. The regular
Office force will remain the same.
The Union is to be CONGRATULATED
upon securing manager of such
wide experience and integrity as Carl
STOW. He is not only familiar with
mercantile methods, but has a first
class knowledge of conditions and
his wide acquaintance and ability for
organization should be invaluable to
the association.
Among the improvements contem-
plated, the erection of an additional
building adjoining the present office
Is already contracted. This building
will be used for implement depart
ment The Union received a new
motor truck this week and have had
a new weighing scales put in place.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
CANNING DEMONSTRATIONS
AUGUST 18th to 1H

Free demonstrations of methods
of canning vegetables will be held at
various places in the County during
the week of August 18Th to 18th.
Arrangements have been made for a
demonstrator from The Domestic
Science Department of the State Ag-
ricultural College. who will give
two demonstrations each day. This
will give each community an oppor-
tunity for this work. The Woman's
Advisory Council of Rio Grande
County will have charge of this work
in the various communities A
schedule of the places where the
demonstrations will be held will be
published next week. For further in
formation write or telephone to Mrs.
Adam Weiss, County Chairman. Del
Norte. or f. Fl. Thomas. County Ag-
ricultural Agent, Monte Vista.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
OLD TRAILS ROAD ASSOCIATION

Mr.. Wardner Williams, of the Pue-
bio Commerce Club, has been visit
)r in the Valley towns this week in
he interest of the sixth annual con-
vention of the National Old Trails
Road association which convenes at
Pueblo August 10th and 18th. Mr..
Williams urged that this valley
should send delegations to the con-
yention to have a voice i'm the delib-
erations. This association has Op-
Grated six years in the promotion of
more than 5000 miles of road from
Washington. ID. c. 70 Los Angeles,
california. Last years convention
stirred the Kansas boosters to the
point of hard surfacing the National
I'D Trails road entirely across that
tate, and this year 1t is expected
hat the convention will assure the
same result for Colorado.
The route to the coast includes the
Santa Fe trail and the San Luis val
'ey's part is to assist in promoting
the hard suriacing of that road and
llso to provide good roads from hero
o that road so that the tourist trav-
Il to which the valley is entitled may
)e diverted.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
FFICIAL CALL MADE
|)R REGISTERED men

rbe local board for the county of
Grande have notified ninety men
tho selective draft to appear for
.sical examination, ninety being
oathing over 200 per cent of the
hta All of these men whose ser
numbers and the order in which
" were drawn appear below, must
Aort to the local board for physical
mination at Masonic Hall, Del
TO The first thirty listed will be
mined August 7th; the second
rty on August Sth; and the third
rty. August 9Th, commencing at 8
|ock each day.
Any claim for exemption or dis
Srge must be made on forms which
" be procured at the office of the
fal Board, and must be filed with
Board on or before August 8.
blicants for exemption will have
days after that time to present
Sof by affidavit of reason for such
(mption or discharge.
Every man called, whether entit-
to exemption or not, must report
the physical examination on the
es specified.
From scrutiny of the list, it is
believed that the county quota
men who can pass the physical
animation will be secured from the
b ninety names drawn after the
(mptions are allowed. In that
e, the local board will have to call
an additional number later on.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
IMPORTANT NOTICE
EXTRA LABOR FOR HARVEST

Word has just been received from
one OF the County Agricultural
agents in eastern Colorado. saying
that between so and rs farmers in
their county wish to work during
grain and potato harvest Some of
these men have teams that they
could use if work for them could be
mad. In some cases entire families
wish to come for work during potato
harvest. These people wish to know
what work they can depend upon
Any one wishing to make arrange
ments for some of this labor should
take the matter up with me not later
than Wednesday, Aug Sth.
f. II. THOMAS,
County Agricultural Agent.
once phone Monte 14SW.
residence phone, Monte A.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
EQUITABLE PLAN ADOPTED
FOR CAR DISTRIBUTION

A well attended meeting of the po-
tato growers, shippers and railroad
officials was held at City hall, Monte
Vista, this (Friday) morning to de-
termine the best methods of car dis
tribution for shipping the potato
crop this fall.
A report of the committee ap-
pointed at the June 80 meeting was
read and adopted and the committee
dismissed. The report outlined a
plan of allotment of cars to the
growers only, upon the basis of acre
age-one car to every three acres
affidavits being required as to each
growers acreage; recommended the
appointment of man to distribute
the cars.
Upon motion committee of three
was appointed by Chairman Sylves-
ter to have charge of the matter of
ascertaining acreage and car distri-
button, and to whom the car distrib-
utor will report. This committee
consists of Carl b. Stow, of Monte
Mr.. Nelson of Center. In conference
with the railroad officials present,
the committee designated o. A. Cra-
mer as car distributor for the ensu-
ing shipping season. Supt r. T. Nc
Graw, Mr.. Wilson, supt of transpor-
tation, and Mr.. Kelly, of the D. & R.
G., attended the meeting and urged
cooperation among the shippers and
growers; loading cars promptly and
to capacity, and to arrange for all
possible storage facilities.
At the close of the meeting the
matter of farm labor and prices was
discussed. Mr.. Blood of Center stat
ed that Saguache county has secured
a Servian colony for theri harvest
E. H. Thomas has received notice
that a large number of dry land
farmers of Las Animas county to-
gether with teams will be available
for our harvest in this county 1t
seemed to be the concensus of opin-
ion that fair wages for labor would
)e $500 per day until harvest com
menced and $3.50 to $500. per day
until potato picking was over A
number of the growers offered to
take laborers at present and keep
hem until freezing time.
The meeting was unanimous in ap-
proving the plan of car distribution
as being most equitable one for all
oncerned in the potato growing and
i.t;Uping business.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
ORGANIZATION OF WONIAN's
ADVISORY COUNCIL

AT mass meeting of the women
of Rio Grande County, held in Monte
Vista. July 21st, Woman's Advis-
ory Council to the Governor was or
ganized. Mrs. Adam Weiss is the
temporary chairman and Miss Mable
Gates, secretary.
The following Executive Commit
tee was chosen
Mesdames Thos. Wilmore, Chas.
Ewing, Jack War;, w. w. Harper,
Frank Golf, Loren Sylvester, Frank
P. Tierney, Grant Newmyer, G. w.
CAFES.
The Executive Committee met in
Monte Vista July 2Sth, and appoint
ed the following committees:
Finance
Mesdames E. T. Elliott Boyd Wal
lace, j. B. Haffy.
Registration fer Service
Mesdames E. L. Carter. Chas. Don
nen, E. NJ Rollins, Harry Francklin.
Home Relief
Mesdames T. L. Bone, B. E. New
lin, Chris Settlers.
Production, Conservation and Thrift
Mesdames Jno. McFadZean, Jno
Macarthur, Jas. Campbell, T. C
Thome, NJ. T. Lightner
Courses of instruction
Mesdames Alice Cheney, Lee Fair
banks, Ralph Ellithorpe, Effie Con-
dra, F. C. Spencer.
Publicity
Mesdames w. II. Cochran Jr., Jno
Nevitt, Earl Cochran, VIM S. Woods
Cooperation
Mesdames John Bushinger, Robert
Williams, w. S. Johnson.
A mass meeting to discuss future
plans and for the purpose of perfect
ing permanent organization will be
held at the Court House in Del NOrte
Aug. 11th, at three o'clock. Every
woman in the County is urged to be
present.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
NUMBER 1927
THE SPECIAL SESSION

The house has already either pass
ed or shown an undsputed disposi-
tion to pass the following measures:
Declaring food public article or
| public utility and putting its conser--
yation and equitable distribution un-
der the control of the state public
utilities commission.
An appropriation to cover the eX-
pense in 1916 of mobilizing the state
guard for services on the Mexican
border.
Creating a department of safety
for the organization and control of a
home guard to do duty in protecting
railroads, reservoirs, large factories
and quasi-public properties after the
present Colorado National guard has
been mustered into the federal army
for service outside the state. This
department will be under a superin-'
tendent and composed of about 500
men.
Giving to Governor Gunter power
to cooperate with the United States
government in any federal plans for
the production. conservation and dis
tribution of food
An antitrust law aimed to stop
the boarding of food and the Illegal
control of prices.
An appropriation of 900 for
the state war council and other COM
mittees which have been working
without funds until the Legislature
could convene.
Two bills providing for an increas-
ed but equable tax on all domestic
and foreign corporations doing bust
ness in Colorado. This plan was
holland, and the amounts to be col
lected are based on the capitaliza-
tion of the corporations. Through
these new laws about 100000 will
be raised annually-sufficient to re-
tire within eight or ten years any
bonds which the legislature may au-
thorize for war purposes. Even the
corporations say the plan is fair, and
some of the largest of them are
heartily in favor of the bill.
An appropriation of $4,000 for
the maintenance of the Soldiers and
Sailors Home at Monte Vista. This
item was overlooked by the regular
session, so Governor Gunter included
1t in his call for the special session.
Admission of disabled soldiers of
the present war to the Soldiers and
Sailors Home on the same basis as
those of the panish-American war
or the Civil war.
Predictions among the knowing
ones-or at least those who profess
to be knowing ones-are that the
special session will adjourn on Sat
urday, August A.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Powell returned
tuesday from Denver whore they
nave been for the past several days
Among the teachers leaving Sun
day night to attend the Teachers IN
stitute at Alamosa were: Misses Es-
tella Cunningham. Lola Nelson. Ruth
Batchelder. Pearl Behil. Nellie New
Ton Grace Warren. Stella Felmlee
and Glacia Martin of Ottawa. Kas.
Chas. Pittman came up from Ala
mosa wednesday and spent the day
with his brotherin-law, H. Owens
and family.
Fern Saddler who has been Visiting
MT ana Mrs. M. A. Saddler at Du-
fahso Tor the past few months. re-
turned home Tuesday
Mrs. Chas. Trueblood, George and
Seth Ellis. Misses Eva Freeman and
nellie Free of Anderson, Ind. went
up to the Lakes today, Friday.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
r Serial
Address
Name

-25S Herman o. Wagner, M. V.
ASS Manuel MaeGteZ, NJ. V.
1877 Pablo F. Ortego, d. N.
-275 Lee Roy Moore, d. N.
500 Gordon w. McCrancy, d N
-564 James R. Fuller, d. N.
-596 Eber d. Phillips, D. N.
-536 Archie e. Porter, M. V.
-54S Eugene S. Sutherland. M V
-l26 Frank Alden Simpson, d N
10Y Enriqucs Trujillo, d. N.
1873 Clarence R. Larick, M. V.
-4S6 Charles Wheeler, d. N.
500 Walter F. DIETRICH, M. V.
-5O7 Oliver o. Vincent, d. N.
1903 Alexander E. Gohr, M. V.
-437 Joseph R. Aydelotte, D. N.
-6O4 Joseph M. Southworth, M V
: 43 Paul C. Garbanati, M. V.
-42O Fidil Vigil, M. V.
-5l4 Daniel w. Burnett, d. N.
-433 John H. Hutchinson, d. N.
: 10 Cecil C. Cook, M. V.
-4S7 Franciquio Y. Manzanares,
Monte Vista.
lao Juan Chavez, d. N.
-432 Harry E. Pennington, D. N.
: lS Andres c. Valdez, M. V.
-6Ol Rufus c. Tucker, M. V.
-606 Wellington A. Worth, M. V.
-lS2 Francisco A. Sanchez, d N
for above thirty names
August 9TH
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04
PERSONALS

MISS Nclly came IN from PagOSa
Springs Monday morning to fill the
position as stenographcr at the Wal
lace State Bank left vacant by the
resignation of Miss Robeson.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. T. Mcneil and son
came in Tuesday morning from Las
Vegas Nevada, and will visit a few
weeks with Mr.. and Mrs. H. b. Nc
Neil AMI Mr.. and Mrs. w. r. Mcneil
Mr.. and Mrs. Menlo Thomas came
down Saturday from the Cochetopa
Pass and returned Monday. Mrs
Chas. Maxfield who has been visiting
there returned with them.
Mr.. and Mrs. l.. A. Hardie came in
Sunday morning from Colorado
Springs to visit Mrs. Hardie's mother
Mrs. A. d. Matthias for few weeks.
Mrs. Ben Gibson and children left
Thursday night for San Acacio where
they will visit her sister Mrs. Basil
Talbot. Mr.. Gibson left the same
evening for a short business trip on
the Western slope.
Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Baker. Mrs. j.
ii. Moninger and Imogene left Tues
day morning for Denver in car.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ed Short returned
Tuesday morning from their trip to
Cheyenne and Denver.
Miss Fern Cellman is visiting rela-
tives and friends at Osceola, la.
Mrs. Otto Adams is here from
Sugar City for a six weeks visit with
friends and relatives.
Mrs. j. l.. Freeman left Wednes-
day night for Pueblo where Mr.. Free
man will join her and together they
will
Mr.. Freeman went to Pueblo Sunday
night.
Miss Irene Ellsworth who came in
Saturday morning from Kansas.
went to Alamosa Sunday to attend
Teachers institute.
II. B. Mcneil and Roy Hooker
went to Dodge City, Kansas, last
Friday on business returning Tues
day.
Mrs. H. N. Merchant left Monday
night for Denver to attend the fun
eral Other nephew Solomon j. Kerns
who was drowned in Lake Pettigrew
last week.
Born to Mr.. and Mrs. Harvey
Brownell at Chama, N. NJ, Wednes-
day, August lst, son.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bert Hutchinson and
Miss Helen Chapman left Saturday
in car for a few weeks outing on
the Western slope.
IL. q. Matthias and family came in
this Friday morning from Greeley for
three weeks visit with friends and
relatives.
Born to Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Jack
son, Saturday, July 2Sth. a girl.
yer Wednesday night on business.
d. ID. Raley went to Pueblo Thurs
day night on business.
Mr. and Mrs. Quincy Cornelius, C
NJ. Corlett and daughter Jennie spent
several days of this week at Durango
Miss Nina Crandall came down
from Del Norte Wednesday evening
for few days visit with friends.
Pat Smith and son Jesse left
| Thursday night for Kansas City. Mo.
where they will remain indefinitely,
Mrs. ELrls and daughter Carrie of
Denver and Miss Drake of Pine, Colo
arrived Sunday morning for visit
with the f.rmer's brother, John Bur
| gett and family.
Mrs. A. w. Hogle left Thursday
night for her new home at Denver.
Misses Abbie and Maude Corlett
went to Alamosa Thursday evening
to visit friends, returning Friday.
Mrs. S. T. Berry and daughter
Ruby who have been visiting Mrs.
Taylor Wells for the past six weeks
left Tuesday night for their home at
Newton, Kansas.
Arthur Van Tine left Wednesday
night for Pueblo to join the navy. As
he Is only II years old, he had to
have the written consent of his
mother.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

daughter Carrie, Miss Drake. Mary
and Lois Burgctt and Mrs. Jim Web
ster of Del Norte, went up to the
Masonic park Thursday and will
spend !. few days at the Merchant
cabin.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

The First National Bank has re.
ceived notice from the Federal re-
serve bank that owing to the rush o.
work the Liberty bonds will not be
delivered under thirty days.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

Harry and Frank Cannon return
ID to their home az Ashland Ken
tucky. Wednesday night. after spend
ing the past year with their uncle.
.. S. Cannon.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

-olS Felix Romero, M. V.
: 46 Joseph d. Chisholm. d. N.
-z23 Harry w. Burkhart, Center
III Lewis c. Anderson, M. V.
wv Aldie p. Immenschuh, NJ V
-SS0 Carlos Espinosa, M. V.
: 10 John H. Gochl, Confer
-aSO Ray A. Edwards, d. N.
-SSa SS samuel Martinez, M. V. =
-S.s Henry l.. Kopfman, Center
-o4z Henry T. Johnson, M. V.
-i94 John Simon, M. V.
-oo2 oo Corbyn G. Wright, M. V.
|'o Leonard j. Hedges, NJ. V.
10 Henry E. Jones, M. V.
-4S2 Lawrence S. Tohill, M. V.
SOo Juan P. Archuleta, M. V.
-oSo Guy w. Gibson, NJ. V.
EiS Victor Dulac, M. V.
''o BENJAMIN " Kaupfman,
re-, Monte Vista.
Ooo4 Clyde l.. Mcdonald, NJ. V.
Eoi oi Matthew A. Hammond, d n
S6S ToS Edward r. stephens, M. V.
20 bernardo Mondragon, d N
% Iomas Valdez, M. V.
9sSS Jose b. Lujan, M. V.
"eo Juan d. Tafoya, d. N.
ia william F. Ebcl, M. V.
o4S Chester A. Green, NJ. V.
on', a4O Fred Sierra, d. N.
for above thirty names
August 9th
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

Howell Davis, Mrs. Belle Williams
Mrs. Robt. Williams and Cynthla
Buck left today on an extended over
land trip to Durango and the south
west.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Burgett. Willis
Tassett and Miss Cle!la Merchant
motored to Pagosa Springs. Sunday.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

Geo. Widman Jr. left Sunday nigh
for Alliance Nebr., and after short
visit there he will return to Fresno
Calf.
The Monte Vista journal., 1917-08-04

-9Ss waiter c. Grannis. M. V.
SS aSo Sarpio Gallegos, ID. N.
AZ James ID. Knoots, d. N.
-Sai Juan ID. Atencio, M. V.
-SS9 Ernest M. Clark, M. V.
asa Nern h. Phillips, M. V.
XII lose Marino Barela, M. V.
-aso wesley E. Veeder, M. V.
- 20 nelarmino Pacheco, NJ. V.
-2sc nuenry l.. Getz, M. V.
lis william r. Mcneil, M. V.
los oharles Parker Goff, M. V.
orlando ID. Jefferson, d. N
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1917-09-20
l~dentlfyino Us.

We travel but seldom. When we
do adventure out OF our beaten path
we love TO go in style. Just before we
made a recen trip we discovered that
nj faithful gripsack presented an ap-
p%earance of premature senility. An
obliging relative, who Is a retired
farmer, volunteered tn refurbish It
with an %embrocation which he had
evolved for use as a harness dressing
or hair restorer. we have forgotten
which. When applied the preparation
smelled somewhat obtrusively, but our
kinsman assured us that the odor
would soon pass away. With our reti.
cule glosslly bedaubed we took our
seat In the train. Py this time we
had become used to the scent, and
ceased TO notice 1t. Presently a ven
cradle citizen of T~ywoppity seated
himself beside us. We gave him our
views of the weather, the war and
sundry other subjects. at wouldn't
surprise me If you was a mighty smart
man." our seatmate eventually OBJ
served. You're a horse doctor, amt
ye? You shore smell like one."-Kan-
sas City Star.