davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Our Daily Special.
heap talk is always expensive
Luke McLuke SAYS

Luks
In every establishment the office boy
could tell the president how the bust
ness could be run better
We always blame heredlty for our
failures. hut never for our successes.
The old fashioned youth who worked
his way through college is now working
his sons way through.
What has become OF the old-iashioned
girl who had bunch Of dance pro
grams hanging on the wall gas fixture
IN her BEDROOM
The kind OF man who is 50 proud oi
his feet that he wears shoes that are too
small for him has a hard time getting a
hat that isn't too big for him
No matter how much her husband
makes, woman knows that his is a
poor occupation II it takes him out
nights
When a man has big muscles IN his
arms you don't have to know him more
than few minutes before he will want
you to feel them
A condemned man is given the best oi
things to eat because he hasn't long Ia
eat. And an engaged man is permitted
to do most of tho talking because he
hasn't long TO talk
The man who has just acquired a
/ high powered automobile seems to lima
I ginc that time is mighty valuable lie
never wastes any OF IT when he is go
| ing anywhere ~
A statistician has discovered tlfsl
there are 100000 too many women ID
this country Maybe he figures that Il,
can lind 100000 married women whc
can name the 100000 superiluou'
women
The reason why BAD Luck does no
hang around some men is because /
knows that ii IT did they would ge
buster and shake it off
A lot OF men who profess religion vii
be highly provoked when they get t.
Heaven and discover tina; the Lord ha
let some OF their neghbors in.
Some men who have more money that
brains would have hard time gettin
SS together
When man starts IN business as
prophe, he imagincS that he has 10 pre-
dict trouble IT he wants to attract atten
ton.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

Prisoners in the Ottawa county jail face famine as the
food fund is exhausted II such condition becomes uni
versal perhaps crime will be abolished since no one whc,
TO be prisoner unless regular meals IN sight
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
SCHOOL BOARD NOMINATIONS.

MtMBERS Of the school board who chosen IN April
" will assist in directing the education OF 1900 boys and
girls The positions the most important in the city,
barring only those in connection with the puhl, health
Nominations will he made IN a couple of week, Have
the parents Of Oklahoma City looked the field Tor the
purpose of selecting biggest and best men women,
for school board members
Unless general interest is shown IN nominating the righ,
kind of candidates may get the wrong kind of school
board After election will be poor time to reflect upon
an inefficient school board
The parents Of the 5000 little folk are rcal, more
interested in the personnel Of the school board than are
citizens who have children OF school age In looking
over the list Of available material II will I've we'll TO keen
In mind that who have children IN school cannot
feel the responsibility those who are sending their
youngsters TO the class room each day.
And in choosing school board members perhaps We ma,
he able TO find two who would give better seryic,
than men But, those women who seek public office Il
advance their political fortunes will not do at all W,
want real patriots, and not politicians
...t- Elnp
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

A well known citizen telephones To that idea
OF a legislative body OF sixteen members does not meet
with his approval He states that after observing egsla
tures for many years the wise proceeding would be 'o
have legislature composed OF three members who should
be paid annual salaries OF $4,000 each
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
w here

Where is the old-time actor.
Who made our Young hearts ache,
with Rags is royal raiment,
when worn for virtues sake,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Huh !

DO YOU think you can support my
daughter asked her Father
Support her" exclaimed the Suitor
why, she has been sitting on my knee
every night for the last few months.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

.,.. rgnIatue u Texas was held m session, ali niHu
while efforts were made to bring two members who
could not he found Probably the people OF Texas would
be glad Il all Of the members should seek hiding places
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Do Ynn Sahe God2

In san Francisco there leading LAWYER who prlded
himself his aStucneSS in queStoning Chinese witnesses
lie once failed that the dress OF Chinese witness
was oi finer texture than that by ordinary coolc
Instead OF asking the usual questions as TO age, occu
patton etc. the following dialogue ensued
What is Your name"
sell Lung"
"Do YOU live in San Francisco"
"NeS"
"Nou sabe Cod"
"Nr Attorney II YOU mean do understand the entity OF
our Creator will simply reply that Thursday evening
next shall address the state ministerial association upon
the subject OF the divinity OF Christ and shall be pleased
# YOU will attend"
10 the day of his death the celebrated lawyer will
escape the question 'Do you sabe GodCase and Com
mcnt
German and Russian soldiers warfare tight of
wolves Hint OF way TO stop wu2lllinois State Journal
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Ten Years Ago.

Ten Years Ago
Mr and Mrs w Gannaway and
two clever daughters have decided to
remove soon to Dallas, where Mr., Gan.
naway has accepted lucrative position
with the Columbus Carriage company
Mrs. ]. B. Colt. who was expected
Yesterday for visit with her daughter.
Mrs W. G. Burke, is detained in Kan
Sas City by the high waters
Mrs George Julien OF Chandler I,
visiting her parents
Miss Eugenia Hutton is entertaining
the High Five club this afternoon
MIR and Mrs. X. II. brennan enter
tanned at cards last night for their
guests, Miss Myrtle brennan of Corn
ing, Iowa. and Miss Ruth Nalll Of RI
Reno
The welfare visitor heard a distress
ing story the other day
On her morning rounds she stopped
at cottage where a parishioner wa,
seriously ILL.,
And how's your father, George"
she asked, sympathe,ically
Dads dead"
"Deadl"
"Uh hu, he went off sudden like
Dear, dear How distressing How
did it happen"
/ We'll. the doctor came IN the NOR
min an mother, she ask him what she
were sg,ye father an doctor scr. Give
him anything he asks for. In the mid
die OF the night father he asks for 4
quart OF beer Mother ser, Amt got
no beer an gives him glass OF water
KILLED him"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

Thieves at Hcnncssey stole meat from a householder
Money prizes are not attractive these days pork
chops.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Say Not

Just because +. ! Bugg is manager,
and L. B Bugg is assistant manager OF
the Hotel Malbourne. a, Durham, \.
G., you needn't say that the hotel is
vel supplied with Buggs, need you'
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

you owe tax Of $1,000 better pay It tuday
Tomorrow the tax including penalty will amount to SIS,
coo
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Mean Brute

"Your wife CLAIMS tha, she is a wont
an of few words" remarked Mr. Nay
Dor
She is, replied Mr.. Gabb "But she
never tires repeating them
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Fooeyl

lie surely Ia Il gabby mutt
lie is II nrrVy geek,
/ know that he IL headstrong but
His brain is very weak,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Hsw, Hawl
lloorayl

The club has found a collector He
lives in Milwaukee, and his name is l.
VIII Collect.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
OLDST0RlBS.'
INNEWTYpE
Twenty Years Ago.
from Tle TlNBS FILES

Twenty Years Ago.
c. W. Limerick is confined to his
bed with a severe attack OF erysipela,
OF the face.
John Shields, who for some time ha,
been employed in the wholesale house
OF Ranney, Alton & Co. OF this city,
has been promoted to travelling sales
man for that company. Monday he
took the road and will work the west
ern part of Oklshoma John is young
man of excellent habits and good bust
ness ability and will make success
for himself and his firm.
Chief Marshal Kane was IN the city
today
Harry Pcntecost OF Guthrie is IN
town today.
Fifteen Years Ago
Harvey Garrison, who has been IN
the cigar business at Ardmore for the
past year, returned this morning to &C
ccpt the position OF assistant manager
IN his fathers hotel. the Windsor.
w A Jennings of Wewoka is IN the
city today
Major Moberly, Hathaway Harper
and Billy Hodge are recent additions
to the local Fix lodge
Mr. and Mrs. NJ G. Miner have
moved from their old home at lo
West Third street to a fine new home
at no West Ninth street
The show window OF the Pope shoe
store is decorated with the finest line
OF shoes that the people OF Oklahoma
have ever seen
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

Robbers broke into bank IN Florida and stole SlSUN
II must be awful to be forced 10 live in state where such
Cline is possible ,s,tt vuza.-
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
'CUKFM:LUKE
Ills COLUMN
Copyright 1877
Advice

Advice.
Some good advice I'll give to you
My son, be kind to all your brothers.
And pay Rs much attention to
Your faults as TO the faults OF others
Hsw, Hawl
'lt SAYS here that impulS,Nc people
have dark eyes. said the Old togy ..
81 don't doubt 1t a." replied the Crouch.
Il suppose their eyes are darkened by
ether peoples fists.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Famous Openers.

THWIUH1 VVVH0T0
lacks or better
Ilmmles
KEYS
Beer
Can.
CorkScrcwS
Nltroglyccrln
Surgeons ns-BIllls Wood
Things to Worry About.
There are 5000 taxicabS in London
Names Is Names
Mr.. Pink Wall lives at GalllpollS
Ohio
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01
Things to Worry About


There are 5000 ,axicabS in London
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

The show window OF the Pope shoe
store is decorated with the finest line
Of shoes that the people OF Oklahoma
have ever seen
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

IWoHty frHTs NV
G.. W. Limerick is confined to his
bed with a severe attack of erysipelas
OF the face.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

Mr.. and Mrs NJ. {. Miner have
moved from their old home at lP
West Third street to a fine new home
at no West Ninth street
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-03-01

Major Moberly, Hathaway Harper
and Billy Hodge are recent additions
to the local Fix lodge.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
Wcddipgs-E Engagements

Mrs. A. j. Fairchild. 500 South
Fourth street. issued cards today an
nouncing the marriage Of her eldest
daughter. Lillian Gladys, to Raymond
Talen Read, son Of Mr.. and Mrs. r.
+. Read, SIS South Fifth street. The
ceremony was performed at the home
Of the brides mother on Sunday
evening. April 8, and was witnessed by
the members Of the two families.
Rev. Jonathan Watson. pastor of
st. Paul's Episcopal church officiated.
Miss Evangeline Fairchild was her
sisters maid of honor and the groom
was attended by Carroll johnson.
Miss Mildred Read, sister Of the
groom. "a bridesmaid and Clay
bourne Angle acted as usher. Guy B.
Fairchild of Red Lake Falls, Mimi,
gave his sister in marriage. Follow
ing the ceremony, a wedding supper
was served.
Mrs. Read has made her home here
for the past ~ years, and is a grad
uate of the local high school and of
the University of North Dakota. She
has been a member of the teaching
staff of the Belmont school for the
past few years. Mr.. Read came to this
city about 8 years ago, and has been
connected with the No-Vary company
for some time. He now holds the po-
olIloil as liIdiid5et VI IIl0 premium u0.
partment with hat company.
Mr.. and Mrs. Read are to make
their future home in Minneapolis.
X X X
Miss Reith Purmort and William
James Craig of Minneapolis, were
married at 3 o'clock, Sunday evening
by Rev. William Elfring. at this home
on North Fifth street. Mr.. and Mrs.
Craig went to Mapes. N. D.. yesterday
morning where they will make their
home on the groom's farm.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
WAYS FOR FIRST OF
WOODEN FLEET LAID
First Of United States Submarine
Evaders to Float in 90 Days
Craft Every 10 DAYS Rate.

New York, May Work was start
ed yesterday by the Foundation COM
pany on the big shipyard on the Pas
sale river near Newark, N. j., where
wooden ships. proposed by the United
States shipping board to OFFSET the
tonnage destroyed by German subma-
rines. will be built in record time.
A large force began building ways,
and the keel Of the first or pattern
ship will be laid down at. once. The
first vessel will be launched in 80
days, 1t Is expected.
AS all the patterns will be standard
ICED, the succeeding vessels can be
turned out much more rapidly. When
the work Is well under way 1t is esti-
mated one ship can be built every 10
days.
There will be 10 slips 80 that 10
craft will be constantly under con-
struction.
Each ship will cost from $3.50, 900
to $780, 900. All will have a.gross
tonnage of 5000 each and will be 2so
feet long, 46 feet beam and II feet
draught. Sixteen knots is the speed.
Similar shipyards will be establish
ed at various points IN the Atlantic
and Pacific coasts.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
Clubs and Guilds.

The members of the Home and Ed
ucation department of the Civic
league, Ire extended a cordial invi-
tation to attend the lecture to be
given in The city hall tomorrow v
ming by Hamilton Holt, the peace adj
vocate.
X
The regular meeting Of Acacia
chapter. No. IL, o. e. s. will be held
sonic temple. Degrees will be con-
ferred and regular business transact
ed. A social session with a service
of refreshments will be enjoyed after
the business meetins.. Signed Mrs.
Pearl Roe Gets. worthy matron: Mrs.
Sadie c. Kermott. secretary.
The general NESTING Of tn. 1.d,.,
Aid society Of the First Methodist
church will be held at 8 o'clock to-
morrow afternoon in the church par
Tors. After the business session, a So
cial time will be enjoyed and the
women Of the Fifth district will serve
refreshments.
The 1adi.. Ala society g Of the Scan
dinavian Methodist church will meet
in h church parlors at 3 o'clock to-
morrow afternoon. Final arrange
ments will be made at this meeting for
the annual spring sale, which is to be
held on Friday evening at the church.
Mrs. g. X. s1mue,,, s14 South
Fourth street, will, entertain tho mem-
bers Of the South Side Circle of the
Womens' Guild Of the Plymouth Con-
gregational church tomorrow after
noon. After the business session, a
social hour will be enjoyed.
+
The regular monthly meeting of the
Bethesda Association Of Scandinavian
Women was held this afternoon at
the home of Mrs. l.. K. Hassell, 412
South Fifth street. After the business
was transacted, a social time was en-
joyed.
The members of the first section Of
st. Paul's Guild held the regular
meeting this afternoon at the home
Of Mrs. E. j. Densmore, South Fourth
street.
The members of the second section
Of the Guild met at the home Of Mrs.
c. E. Lazier. $40 Belmont yer
Both sections devoted the first part
Of the afternoon to business meetings,
which were followed by social ses-
sions.
The members Of the W. c. o. F.
will be entertained at a card party on
Thursday afternoon in the lower au-
ditorium Of st. Michael's pro-cathe-
dral. Playing will commence at $3.50
o'clock, and will continue until 8
o'clock. Mrs. J. N. Butler, Mrs. Peter
Grady, Miss Josephine Strong, and
Mrs. NJ. H. Dillon are in charge Of
the party.
X X i
The regular meeting Of the wom-
ems Catholic Order Of Foresters will
be held at 1880 o'clock this evening
in the Knights Of Columbus hall.
Matters of business will be transacted
and 1t is desired that all members be
present.
X X X
The regular monthly meeting Of st.
Paul's Guild will be held at 8 o'clock,
Wednesday afteNpoon. in the Guild
hall. Regular roudne business will be
cared for, and q social time will be
enjoyed.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
QH!IIjP b q !
= % emma daZ2 Gla4dce '
The Pathway to Happiness.

Everybody 10 in search of happi-
ness. although your idea of it and
mine may be entirely different and
both perfectly legitimate in every
way. Nature, you know, does not
make us all alike.
The singular thing is, though, that
any person who has reached the age
OF reasonable thinking, can be 10 ut
terly stupid and so lacking in OBJ
servation Of causes and results, az to
think that weakening self-indulgence.
deceit, dishonesty, or wrong doing OF
any kind. can possibly lead to any
thing but disaster.
We look with establishment upon
the gamblers who will stake their all
upon a machine that is set to beat
them every time. but their Judgment
rs no poorer than that Of many peo-
pie whom we meet constantly, and
VINO some way or other have convinc-
ed themselves that they will be able to
side-step the inevitable results of the
line OF conduct they are pursuing.
Inere are certain laws Of Nature
wnicn r u~nfailingly, regardless Of
what any n may think about his
W c~leverness. If our unkind con-
uct causes unhappiness to others.
the same measure of unhappiness will
now back to us. al surely as the polar
currents rush in to take the place Of
the detected equatorial waters.
Every week or so-sometimes Of
tener. the papers tell a shocking story
which while differing in immediate
detail. is fundamentally the same
the story of some woman, usually
young and attractive, who has met a
tragic late through venturing too far
along the primrose path. Had she
stopped to think for one quiet half
hour. and had she been honest to ac-
knowledge the truth as she saw 1t, she
must have known that she was travel
ing steadily toward ruin. There is no
credit to be derived and no bravery in
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
SYLLABUS OF OPINION
IN REGENTS CASE GIVEN
Supreme Court Decision Denying
Writ to Gust Members of State
Board Is Made Public.

The following syllabus has been re-
ceived OF the decision of the state SUI
preme court in the board Of regents
controversy:
State of North Dakota, ex rel Will
liam LANCER, attorney general for the
state OF North Dakota, petitioner, vs..
Lewis F. Crawford. Frank White, J.,
d. Taylor, Emil Scow and J. A. Pow
err. respondents.
Syllabus:
h provision in section 2 of chap
ter PSI. laws 1915, Commonly known
as the State Board Of Regents Act),
empowering governor to nominate
and the senate to confirm nominations
for the office Of members of the state
board Of regents during the same ses-
sion OF the legislature at which the
act creating the offices were enacted.
does not conflict with or ~contravene
the initiative and referendum amend
nent to section rs Of the state con-
stitution.
Original proceeding by the state on
the relation Of William LANCER, at
torney general, for a writ Of quo war
ranto, to Gust Lewis F. Crawford,
Frank White. j. D. Taylor, Emil Scow
and J. A. Power from the Offices Of
members OF the state board of regents.
Writ denied.
j., Bruce, CHI. j.. and Christianson, J..
Birdzell and Grace, J., dissenting.
William LANCER, attorney general.
H. A. Bronson and d. V. Brennan, as
sistants attorney general, for relator,
Lawrence. & Murphy Of Fargo, and
Fisk. Linde & Murphy Of Bismarck.
for respondents.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01
TOWN CHILDREN TO
EMICRATE TO THE
COUNTRY THIS YEAR

The Hague. Netherlands, May L.
Correspondence, of the Associated
Press 1.-THE town-bred children of
Prussia are to emigrate to tho coun-
try this summer. not in parties but
in veritable armies. II the latest move
ment, under the patronage Of Ger
man Empress Augusta-Victoria is
successful. From the back streets Of
grim, war-beclouded Berlin and other
big cities. they are to be transferred
for two months to the smiling mea-
dows, farms and villages of the open
countrywide; from the gnawing want
Of the towns to the sources Of Ger
many's food production.
The Prussian ministers Of the in
terror, OF education and Of agriculture
have Jointly. addressed a proclama-
ton to the population. wherein they
declare that much greater efforts than
last year must be made this summer
to accommodate such children. They
sum up the advantages which the
public interest derives therefrom.
Fathers at the front and mothers at
home are relieved of a crushing bur-
den, Of care IL they know their chill
own strength is thereby reinforced.
The mothers and sisters Of the young
sters get more opportunity to under
take work in the interests Of the
fatherland. The large towns are re-
lteved Of the care of feeding the chill
drens SO that there Is moro food for
adults, particularly in the industrial
regions. These are some Of the bene-
fits enumerated.
A society has been established at
Berlin, under the presidency Of the
burgomaster Of ChaflottesburE. with
branches throughout the country. The
empress is to be it, patroness. Lists
are being drawn up for persons who
will take one or more children, either
free of charge or. on payment Of IL
cents a day, for about SIX weekS.t The
children may. - 1ssd for Tight asld
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-05-01

/, foo%lhardiness for folly's sake. No
one. and particularly an impression
able young man or woman. can come
In contact with and take part in what
is evil. without being smirched.
Late suppers. gay entertainments.
fashionable clothing. and mere things.
mean pitifully little when they have
been bartered in exchange for honor
and virtue.
The Pathway &c Happiness Is SO
plainly marked that every one may
walk therein who wills. There are
signboards at every corner and con-
science is ever present to sound the
warning signal. There are common
place stretches, to be sure, OF the
Pathway to Happiness, but they are
honest stretches and no gay. stolen
occasion can afford the heart sa~tisfac-
ton Of doing ones duty cheerfully and
we'll. Here no headaches, no regrets,
no renlOrse or over-shadOwing con-
sciousness of wasted life will be met.
II want to have a good time while I
am young" Youth cries, "for I shall
be young but once"
Of course. Of course! This 10 per-
fectly natural. and we all feel the
same way. but q good time does not
consist in spending money foolishly.
In wasting precious hours, or in assoc
ciating with questionable companions.
Youth is entitled to a good time, but
It should be a safe and sane good
time-the kind of pleasure which
makes for bright eyes, clear skin, and
a fearless. expectant gaze. It should
mean a constructive good time, which
will go to build up strong habits of
mind and body, wise judgments. dis
eliminating tastes, and a circle Of 10y
al. worthwhile friends.
Oh, having a good timeethe right
along the Pathway to real and perma-
nent Happiness! Any other Pathway
and any other lure offers nothing but
a desert mirage-Fool's Gold!