Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1917-09-26

MEN, WOMEN AND THINGS
Frank M. Eddy.
If you'd have time fly, pass swiftly by,
The very best of ways,
Is to buy a coat and give your note
Made due in sixty days.
- ..
The principal part of the worlds
worry is about things that never hap.
pen.
The only difference between the
boys of 1861 and the boys of 1917 is
Sc years.
The ones that are kicking the hard
est against the action of the United
States in this crisis are the ones who
have received the most favors from
Uncle Sam.
Possibly it would not be a bad idea
to make liberal appropriation to buy
gas masks for congressman.
- -
There is no disloyalty among the
mothers whose sons are wearing the
uniform of their country or among
girls whose sweethearts are fighting
for the flag.
The only consistent thing about a
woman is the constancy of her incon-
sistency.
"A cat may look upon King" but
any self-respecting cat would hate to
look upon some of the present day
kings.
It looks incongruous to see wom-
an clad in full masculine habiliments
wearing "a veil.
Mamma" inquired little girl,
"were you ever acquainted with papa
before you married him?" "Certain-
ly," replied the mother. "Then." said
the precocious child, II don't see how
in the world you came to marry him. -
Grandparents think the pranks per-
petrated by their own grandchildren
are lawfully cute" yet they soundly
whipped their own children for doing
the same things.
It is the common, ordinary people
that make existence possible, yet a
man or a woman has to be very good
or very bad before they attract any
attention.
We are saddest when<we sing and
that is the same with the people who
listen to us sing.
The first violet of the springtime
is just as lonely as the last rose of
summer.
It was an awful waste of time for
Diogenes to take lantern and 20
hunting through the streets of Athens
for an honest man. All he needed 20
have done would have been to have
asked the first man he met on the
street where he could find one and he
would have been told: II am an hon.
est guy myself"
An employer ought not to expect
his employee to be as good a man as
he is; If he was he would be working
for himself.
The old English common law read:
A man may whip his wife provided
he does not use stick larger than
his thumb and does not strike her ON
the head or noble parts of the body"
If there had been White House pick
cts in those days it would have read:
HE can use stick as large as his
arm and hit her anywhere"
Those guys, who. at the present
time are so busy criticising Uncle Sam
ought to bear in mind that there is no
law forbidding them to move outside
his Jurisdiction.
It is Impossible for man to be so
bad that woman will not feel fiat
tered If he falls in love with her.
There are a lot of fellows who think
that it is their conscience that keeps
them out of the army when it is only
their cowardice.
.
The woman who declares that she
says Just what she Thinks is usually
the one who always says just what
she doesn't think. = -.
q 30
Feminine muscularity developed
over a washboard is of much more
value to the world than that develop
ed by playing tennis.
There is many working man who
thinks he is-poor who could sell his
appetite for million dollars If such
a thing were possible.
TELEeRApHERs WANTED.
g.