The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1917-07-05
THE BACHELORS
CLUB
There Was q Penalty For
Marriage
By RICHARD MARLEY

The Bachelors club was an assocfs
ton Of men who regarded themselve
as being especially happy In not ha,
ing wife, child or home and who lool
ed upon women as designing person
who made it their business to enslay
men, usually by some underhande
means altogether reprehensible.
The Bachelors club came to orde,
the president in the chair.
"Fellow bachelors" he said, zone a
our number has committed matrimony
Edward Hammerton has taken to him
self a wife. l will read article Z o
our constitution, applying to his case:
when any member shall become en-
gagged or has been married he shall pa,
q fine and his membership in the clul
shall cease. He shall state the arts b.
which he was shared. II there are palIi
ating circumstances in his case he shall
not pay the whole fine, but such portion
of 1t as the club may consider a JUS
amount in his case.
"Mr. Hammerton will now make his
statement"
Il assure you, gentlemen" said the
retiring member, "that no intention
whatever to desert you ever entered
my head until diabolical combination
OF young women in the town where I
live forced matrimony upon me. These
persons organized club based on q
custom prevailing In a foreign land.
Between the mountains of India and
Persia, have since understood, is a
powerful tribe, among whom the ladies
can choose their own husbands. All a
single woman has to do when she
wishes to change her state is to send a
servant to pin handkerchief to the
hat OF the man on whom her fancy
lights. and he Is obliged to marry her
unless he can show that he is too poor
to purchase her at the price her father
requires.
INSPIRED by this suggestion from a
land where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions, every UNI
married woman in the town where
live formed a club-rather, entered upon
q conspiracy-to force the bachelors
into matrimony. One morning, being
about to leave my home, ON taking my
hat from the hall closet something soft
and scented fluttered against my hand.
] shuddered. had touched the Indian
poison flower and was reminded of it's
waxen petals and it's seductive odor.
Taking the hat to the light, saw
pinned to it blue silk handkerchief /
In one corner Of which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe, gentlemen, the in
sinuating method of this designing
creature She not only knew how dear
to every man is his alma mater, but
she was aware that blue is the color
of my college.
Mind you, gentlemen, did not at
the time know of this society or of
Its malevolent purpose, for the mem
bers kept both secret so long as posi-
bic. / asked my butler how the hand |
kerchief came to be pinned to my hat. |
He said that the servant Of Miss Euge-
MIA Tomlinson, living at the other end |
OF the street, had called before I was |
out Of bed. asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief Why he had
done SO he did not state.
Going to my club after had break
tasted, l sat down to cigar and
paper. In the paper l read full ac-
count Of the organization and prac-
tees of this pestilent Indian plant that
mad been imported to our soil. / also
read list Of the bachelor heads that
mad already fallen and was aghast to
see the names Of two Of my most init
mate friends.
Great heavens / cried, the per-
sp1ration starting out on me, and I
nave already received a deadly Black
Hand notification
The lady who had thus marked me
lor matrimonial misery, both from her
beauty and general attractiveness, was
all powerful. Any man on whom she
pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
lor him. Nevertheless, though seeing
the signal to heave to, made up my
mind to pay no attention to it. sim
ply sailed on, minding my own bust
ness"
why didn't you take to an aero
piane?" member interrupted.
"Rats?' "Buncombe!" Brave boyp
md the like greeted the speaker.
One week after the receipt OF the
'ignal.' he continued, "the period given
'iacklisted bachelors by this club, l
net one of my most respected women
trends on the street. She cut me dead. .
Inc same day met several others and
eceived the cut direct from all. Here
vas. indeed, a boycott. You must re- ;
member, gentlemen, that, although we
10 not wish to surrender our fndepend-
nee to these creatures, to be ostra-
lied by them is serious matter. In
ime l was cut by every unmarried :
'oman in town. Besides, the most at l
ractiVe married women were honorary
MEMBERS Of the club and Joined the
oycott. .s-.@ " b
And then, gentlemen, appeared the
lost alluring feature Of this malignant
cheme. Last Of all my feminine ac-
ualntances met the girl into whose y
oiis 1t was intended that should fall. {
seductive blush overspread her fea- '
Tres. bewildering smile parted her '