Arizona republican., 1917-12-23
For Sale-Miscelianeous
PRESIDENTIAL EXPERIENCE

A GhESlDEN11ALE EAHEfllE4NS SE |
 You" said one old moth eaten | You" can become President, yes, | the Power of our great free Re public-What me?, l cried; Glory | Hallelujah', I'll do it. Being then | quite a man, Gin my own estimation) l l flew right to the arms of Pop, | shouting, I'm going to besa President, I am, sure Mike: I'm going to leave my Nav and Paw, and hit the pike; This place is now too small for me, and I'm too big for it, I'm going down to Washington, and out l lit-"Come back, come backi yelled Pop. Your all right, but must first have experi- ence:-"Now, said he, very confi- dentially, the Suffraghettes here, men and women, gather tonight to select a leader, called a President: l want you to get the job, where by the use of the gavel and judicial authority, you will become fitted for any posi- tion in the gift of man to bestow: My
 Ermine and wig, brought from Eng
 land on the Mayflower, shall be at your disposal, and l charge you to ad-
 minister authority, with determined
 forcefulnesS". Say, wasn't l ecstatic? Talk about your fifth heaven, 'twasnt in it.-Impatiently dragged
 the hours, but at last the assembly
 gathered: (S of us)-'I propose, as President of this organization, said Pete, Che had been coached by Pop) George o. Ford, a young man of l learning, great capabilities, and won derful intellectual advancement; he | is an honor to our community, and
 will prove in this cause of righteous | ness, a fearless, impenetrable wall, through which, only the spear of jus | tice can be driven. q didn't fancy | that much, as I didn't expect to be speared.) Well, I was elected, escorted 1 to my throne, donned my robes, and i looking like a stuffed pOpinjay,
 brought the gavel down as a miner would whack drill: "Order!" l I shouted: Whats wanted" "?-"Pd like, said sister Miranda, an old "has been,
 to move, that Mother Jones be noti- | fled to "stay with it', and free our l frightened skkts from the oppression surrounding them since the days when Eve, thro' the influence of that de- | spised serpent, plucked that apple" | "Sit down. yelled an old maid sister; i "Your off your nut'-Eve had no skirts You mean, you want to wear pants, eh!-Fellers the ball sure be- gan rolling: I rapped, knocked pound- ed, whacked and sat on the rostrum. but to no avail, the jabbering, jibber- ing, and clattering, of those old moss backs, couldn't be stopped, so in de- spair I threw the gavel skyward, ! wrapped my judicial robes about me, | and muttering something about women and future punishment, strode
 from the room. "Well Georgie, said
 Pop, how about it?-Like the presi-
 dential job?" Nothin' doin, I re- | sponded, I guess I'll keep on ''pailin
 keows and skinnin mules: Good boy
 said Pop, stay on earth; this heavenly retrospections good for fools but will
 never fill your belly.-"But how about
 suffrage ge?"-Cuckooi
 Say friends it's no use:-I can't sell goods. The holidays nearly here, and
 poor me strapped. I had most hon.
 orable intentions, having planned tc
 donate IS pence to the Holy Rollers; i-22 pence to the Salvation Army
 "A pence to tag day solicitors; =
 pence to Red Cross;-4 pence to wid-
 ows and orphans; and some more pence for my own pleasure:-Its al . off, unless, within days, you dig up: If you fail, I'll just seek my hole l and like a bear, shall hibernate. Here's | one more offer