davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Safety First.

"The porter is unusually attentive
to your wants."
"Yes," replied the celebrated bac-
teriOlogist.
"You must have Travelled on this
road a number of times before and
tipped him literally"
'That isn't the reason. The cOnduc-
tor told him that l had in a little bot
tie in my suitcase enough germs to kill
an army and the porter has made up
his mind that no accident is going to
befall me if he "a possibly prevent
it."
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Victims of Friendship.

"And why are you here, my man?'
asked the parson who was visiting the
state prison of convict 41,144.
"Ma frien's got me in dis joint" re-
piled the victim bitterly.
"Why how is that?" asked the SYM
pathetic visitor.
at WIZ like dis" explained 41,144.
"De judge gimme de high-sign, meanin'
dat | wuz t. be hanged, but me fool
frien's got de gov'ner t change de pro-
gram t putin me in de lookup fer life.
Seer"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
The Modern Nav.

"Say," said the theatrical manager
to the chap who writes between meals,
"do you want II job?'
"What kind of Il job" queried the
play manufacturer.
81 bought Il job lot of scenery at an
auction sale today" explained the t..
m, sand | want you to write a play
to fit it. See?'
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Deeds Of Darinq.

Cholly-I say, Fweddy, let's-aw-
do something Desperate and bweak
into the-aw-hewoic class, dOncher
know.
Fweddy-All right, deah boy. But
what shall W. do?
Cholly Something extraordinary,
doncher know. IIaw! l have it.
Well-aw-have some bweakfast food
for dinnah!
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Too Good to Be True,

"This candidate impresses me by his
sincerity"
"You mean because he weeps for the
wrongs of the common people?"
"Yes."
"And says he's not ambitious, but
merely wants to serve the public,
coveting neither fame, nor power nor
richest"
Exactly"
"You are entitled to your own opin-
ion, of course, but these are the very
reasons that make me doubt his sin.
certify"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Deserving Character.

81 saw a rather stout person out
riding in your car yesterday afternoon
who was a stranger to me. Have you
Il relative visiting youY"
"NO. That was Our cook. She has
the use of our car two afternoons a
week."
Il would consider that a downright
imposition"
'You wouldn't after you had tasted
one of her pies"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Her Manly Trait.

KnOx-Mrs. Juno strikes me as be-
ing entirely too masculine for a
woman.
Mrs. Knox-That's right. Why. every
time she Las an ache or pain she
makes as much fuss about it as a a
would.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
E}9BH& E5IMfEE$ 81 y
NO HARD FEELINGS.

snow that you have donated S2OO.OOO
TO your alma mater for the erection
of n new building, why do you insist
that it must be located on a particular
Iurt of the campusT"
"Because,' replied the eminent
philantllropist, "when l was n fresh
man | received on this spot the worst
nights hazing | ever experienced. and
| want to put up a building there just
to show that | bear no i'll will to the
college for what happened to me-"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
nFQR
BEaR
observation-disclosures
B0H 6
u: &
GREATEST WASTE OF MONEYS
Proper Maintenance Of Public Roads
Is More Important Than Building
Lax Methods Used.

(By f. B. HOUSE. Colorado Agricultural
College, Fort Collins. Colo.)
The greatest waste OF public
moneys that Is being committed today
is in s~urfacing our country roads and
then apparently abandoning the same.
No county that engages in real road
building can afford to dismiss its
workmen when the road has been con.
structed.
1t rarely ever happens that the ini.
tial work on the road is done wisely,
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
An Exclamation.

Observation-Disclosures that old joke again
pertaining to the difficulty of finding a
Woman's pocket. Now it's easy enough
to find Il mans pocket.
Wife-Well, that's as it should be.
A man has no business with a wOm-
ans pocket, while Il oma has with
Il man's-because she needs the money.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
An Unexpected Retort.

"Where," demanded the female suf-
frage O%ratress in a fierce tone, "wOuld
man be today were it not for woman?'
She paused for a moment, and
glared at the silent audience.
"Once more | repeat" she came
back, "Where would mar be were ii
not for w0man?"
Then from the gallery in a timid
masculine voice, came this answer
He'd be in the garden Of Eden eat
ing Strawberries"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Just for a Chance.

GLOW would you like to be one of
those magazine illustrators and spend
most of your time drawing beautiful
women?"
Not for me-"
"Why not"
"You know something about the per-
versity of human nature. After a few
years of that sort Of work | might fall
in love with a woman who was as
homely as a mud fence"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Sure to Come Back,

"Where is that cuff l had on yester-
day." asked the hungry-looking poet.
81 sent it to the laundry" said his
wife.
Gracious. woman, l had a poem
written on it! J"
"Oh, it will come back. You know
your poems always do"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Why He Obiected,

Doctor wish you would tell those
deaf-mutes to stop talking, the noise
disturbS me.
Attendant-Why, how can they make
a noise when they talk with their fin
gers?
Doctor-Well, don't you know that ac-
tons speak louder than words?
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Bird of an Argument.

81 think all telegraph and telephone
wires should be put underground"
said the man with long hair.
"Why. | thought you were head of
the Audubon society 2" replied the tele-
graph man.
$50 / am"
"Where on earth. then, do you sup
pose the poor birds are to roost if
deprived of the Wircs?"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Increase Farm Land Values.

An increase in farm land values
varying from 25 to 1914 per cent has
been produced by improvement Of
main market roads, according to
statistics collected by the federal Of
flee of public roads and rural en-
cheering.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Sidney comes to know sorrow intimately. and Christine, the
bride, is disiIusoned about her man.

X. LeAoyne, Il queer stranger with gentle manners, becomes a
rooncr ut the Page home, presided Owe by Sidney, her invalid mother,
Anna, and her old maid aunt. Harriet, n dreSsmnker. Sidney becomes
n hospital Nurse through the influence of Dr., Max Wilson, Il brilliant
young surgeon, smittcn with her charm. X. loves her from II distance,
and so does Joe lrummonl, an old lgrschoof chum. AT the hospital,
Charlota Harrison, who has been intimate with Wilson and Is Jealous
of unon.nding Sidney. Her chum, Christine Iorenz, marries Palmer
Howe, n young aDdcty rake, and they take rooms at the Page home.
Ip>rlte Ks efforts to avoid strangers, Doctor Max meets him II
night and finds he is n famous Doctor fhWardcs, supposedly dead.
Max keeps the secret at his old friends urgent request.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Proved an AIibi,

DiXon-I understand that Miss Over
seven brought suit for damages against
young Sapleigh for casting reflections
upon her.
IIiXon-She debut lost her case.
DiXon-So? What was Sapleigh's
defense? ..t,,
IIiXOn-IIis attorney put him on the
witness stand and proved to the salts
faction of the jury that he wasn't
bright enough to cast reflections.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02

rather pale, but entirely sober. She
confronted him in her straight white
gown and waited for him to speak.
81 am sorry to be so late, Chris" he
said. 1.-THE fact is, | am all in. l was
driving the car Out Seven Mile run.
We blew out a tire and the thing
turned over"
Christine noticed that his right arm
was hanging inert by his side.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02

but there are a multitude of little
things that later must be added or
repaired in order that the road may
holes are sure to form and these must
be filled or the road oon goes to
pieces. These things should be
planned for and done quickly If the
improved road is to do the fullest
service, and this is the one thing that
it seems to me some of u county
commissioners are neglecting. They
become so imbued with the idea of
building good roads that they fail to
prepare for the maintenance of roads
already constructed.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
m Milk Pals.

Milk pals and cans should be
smooth, with all cracks and seams
flushed with solder. Seamless pals
and cans have been placed on the
market,
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
o In Winter.

The farm poultry house in winter
must be well ventilated and dry. Sun.
light should strike as much Of the
floor and roosts as possible.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02

"Earlie, why don't you comb your
hair?"
"'Cause l amt got a comb"
"Well, why don't you tell your
mamma to buy you One?"
"'Cause hen I'd have to comb my
hair"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
The Ex.WidoM.

Mrs. Green-Your husband is GER
tainly a fne-looking man, Mrs. Black.
Mrs. Black-Oh, he'll do; but you
just ought to have seen my first hus-
band.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Siuns and Portents.

"What does it mean when smoke
ascends in a straight line?"
"That there is fire somewhere
about"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
The MISSING Word.

"A word to the wise is sufficient"
Is a proverb that's often heard;
But VT need some wise guy to tell us
JUS which is the proper word.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
His SpeciaIty,

"You say that pasty-faced individual
is expert in nautical sports?"
"Yes."
HE certainly doesn't look as if he
could swim or sail a boat"
"He can't, but he's one of the
stepped aboard an ocean liner"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
Buvino Foundation Stock,

Often there is unwise buying when
laying in the foundation stock. Bet.
ter put in more money and buy a good
sire.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02

Jaw, say. We can't tie no can to dat
bobtail dorg!'
"Naw-w. Dat dorg's tail puts me
in mind of II of dem serial stories.
Dey amt no end to it"
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02
AIasI Poor Norman.

Alas! Poor Woman.
Man wants but little here below,
Because he's too polite
To interfere when women go
For everything in sight.
New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1917-02-02

Weight Of Barbed Wire.
Barbed wire runs about a pound to
a rod.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1917-11-09

Tonight week ends the biggest schedule The Herafds
Campaign will weeks from tonight
prizes BE This coming
pathaker the efforts of the public when
their for whoever thing
Ing BY your this week shall you be known
by these flew weeks without the
single candidate
bunder prize, she
her OF you
let actions the judge whener e
past will be for nothing.
coming you things. This coming week the
biggest entire campaign Close Go
campaign.
yourself the hour If try
when things starting. Show
friends that you win
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

this delicate way Of offering her an OPP
portunity to shake off an unenviable
reputation.
Biblical history records several in
stances of regenerated persons who took
new names, because the mesmerism of a
name which suggested an unpleasant
reputation was recognized as undesir-
able.
The west will always be found awake
and ready for every opportunity that
means progress and its activity will
never be governed by tradition.
In this connection there need be no
fear, as indicated in the editorial com
ment of the Monitor, that New England
will ever ask Old England to change
her name.
When Salem, Mass, awakens to her
opportunity there will be hope that all
of New England will awaken to hers
and the name of tradition will be
changed to progress.
Future generations reading the his
tory of Salem, Ore, viii find more Of
which to be proud in the nerve" of its
Fathers than Salem, Mass, in her his
tory of witchcraft.
MRS. ORA MATTHEW'S MOSS,
4736 Lake Park Avenue,
Chicago, Ill
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

as watch correct to the second is to
railrl ad man.
"At regular intervals, probably once
a year, high grade watch has to be
taken down and cleaned. Even If this
were not done the watch would still
continue to run but whether it would
give as satisfactory service and keep
as accurate time, is open to question.
"At regular intervals the storage
battery should be taken apart and in
spected The battery, like everything
else, wears out in time, but the wooden
insulato.s are shorter lived than the
rest of the battery. Hence, replace
ment of these is necessary before the
battery has run its natural life. II
the battery is torn down and the insul-
alton renewed during the winter, say.
the owner is assured a period of salts.
factory service without further repairs
Ii the insulation is allowed to go until
it is absolutely broken down, the bat
terry becomes short eircuited, and may
be ruined.
'In other words, although the motor
ear owner is able to fill his own bat
terry with distilled water and make the
hydrometer, ammeter and thermometer
tests, he should let battery expert
look into it at regular intervals-once
month at least This is not hard
ship by any means, for the battery
Service Stations arc scattered all over
the eountry. The Willard Storage Bat
terry Co. alone has tttr $50 of these
each under the control of a battery
expert.
~ don't think that I'm putting il
too strong when say that expert in
spection is as necessary to battery sat
isfaetion as distilled water
Any cne desiring further informa
ton is invited to call at my shop %
Court Street, Salem.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

we cannot have either one if a person or
persons have the right to say who shall
or shall not give up those rights. Gods
business is not ours, and therefore, We
should keep our hands out OF it. Should
we be breeded like animals. No, for
We are higher than animal and should
not be treated as such. 1t makes my
heart ache to see the state of Oregon
and our own beautiful city of Salem
which some day must become great
commercial center, toSbe first to stain
our flag of the free.
For is it not an objectionable crime
for one citizen to take the life of an
other? Then SO with this for God gave
them both and when he said ''GO out
and multiply he meant them all and
not a few who are more fortunate than
others. Therefore protect the weak and
see that they are protected.
For how do We know whether we
haven It just as great criminals in the
state house as we have in the peniten-
tiarys You never can tell. So why
bring the ignorant to justice to hide the
crimes of the wise9 Then, Oh people, of
! Oregon, and of the city of Salem, let
us abolish this law at once and let our
minds rest in peace with God
If man inspired this bin, may God
forgive him. If woman, IN ashamed to
admit that am one.
; Also, God forgive those senators and
representatives who voted for this bill
and bless those who voted against it.
AN UNKNOWN.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

easily be compared to the first three
months Of storage battery's life.
''When we advise man to keep in
touch with Service Station, particu
larly during the first three months of
the battery's life, we do not expect
that his battery is going to break down
in that period any more than any
other period; but we do know that in
a majority of cases some small changes
are needed in the electrical equipment
The generator might need adjustment
We advise it, The battery may be half
discharged when the owner gets it. We
recharge it. The owner may be using
great deal Of power in cranking and
lighting his ear, but not running the
machine far enough to off set this
We advise him.
''In other words the first three
months Of battery $ life is period
of adjustment and we claim that if any
battery gets over this, like the watch
that has been adjusted, it will give Its
owner the best of satisfaction.
Tho similarity does not end here
The owncr of good watch, even after
it has been adjusted to his special
needs, continues to keep in touch with
the iewelcr, Minor regulations may b,
needed, or even if they are not, the
owner kncws it is good thing to have
an expert look into the delicate me
chanism once in while.
Railroads are particularly strict il
this matter and compel their employees
to have their watches inspected reg
blarly.
"ln tho same way the owner of al
automobile should see that his storage
battery is looked at regularly by a bat
tery expert, Even though no adjust
ments are necessary, this measure o
procaution may head off trouble
Bright lights and q snappy start arr
Of as much Importance to the motoris
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
President MOSer to
Talk About Lincoln

Monday night, February IL, Salem
lodge No 4, A. F. & A. NJ, will hold
a special communication, at which time
the American flag will be presented to
the lodge with appropriate ceremonies.
At the last meeting of the grand
lodge of Oregon, held at Albany last
summer provision was made whereby
the American flag is to be placed in
every lodge in this jurisdiction, and the
official presentation of the flag will be
made to Salem lodge No. upon this
occasion The time for the presentation
of this flag is considered highly appro-
pirate and Salem lodge No. 4 is con-
graduating itself upon being able to
have these ceremonies upon Abraham
Lincoln S birthday, for had it not been
for the valor, patriotism and determin-
ed craftsmanship of our martyred presi-
dent, the flag today might not mean so
much to loyal Americans as it does. The
program for the evening includes some
of the best speakers in Oregon, and ev-
cry Mason in Salem, visiting or other
wise, is cordially invited and assured a
rousing patriotic evening.
Our strained relations with Germany
at this particular time will add much to
the serious and conscientious eonsidera-
tion of our obligations to our flag and
country. In addition to the speakers,
Mr.. Frank S Barton will sing Kipling Is
recessional The speakers for the even
ing will be: Judge Lawrence t. Har-
ris, of the state supreme court, who will
speak on 'tThe History of Our flag;
Gus C. Moser, president of the state sen
ate, who win speak on "Lineoln an6
Our Flag" and VIM. Wallace Youngson
of Portland, who viii speak on "Tht
American Spirit
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
Nursing Your Battery
= Z Z \ ]. = : = ]. ). y ]. !.

lii recent storage battery advertis.
ing. particularly that Of the Willard
Storage Battery Co., great emphasis
has bean laid upon the fact that bat
terry must be well taken care of during
the first three months Of its existence
if It is gcirg to give any kind of salts
faction.
The battery has been repeatedly
compared to u newborn infant which
during the first period of its life must
he treated gently and tended careful.
ly generally. But the battery does not
need to he handled with "Silk Gloves, .
II Is sturdy apparatus ready to nu.
dcrtake man-sized piece of work at
any time.
Mr.. II. N. Steele, the local Willard
agent, compares it with watch.
A man buying new watch,' says
Mr.. Sicele, "and when say watch
] do not mean q pocket alarm clock
has il adjusted to various conditions
The maker turning out scores OF
watches d day naturally cannot forcsec
the conditions which Cs-ch one will have
10 meet, aud so he builds them to au
average Of service When the retailer
sells tho watch he makes certain ad
iustmenls TO fit the particular buyers
needs, and suggests that the purchases
keep in touch with him so that it eau
be further regulated until il does il
work perfectly.
"in other words, If the watch is t,
give perfect satisfaction to the owner
ii has to be adjusted TO that owner 7
course Of life.
%Fhis period Of adjustment nigh
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
Battle With Raider

Buenos Aires Feb. l0-Special dis
ratches received today from Pcrnam.
bueo declare that battle occurred
Thursday off Fernando De Naronha be-
tween a British cruiser squadron and
the German raider. The fight lasted
four hours, it was said, but the outcome
was unknown.
The Island of Fernando De Naronha
is situated about l25 miles off the east
ern extremity of Brazil.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
Wick Bros. Are Agents
for Hudson Super Six

Vick Bros, the well known local
agents for the Ford and Studebaker,
have added q new ear to their list
g Hudson Super Six
The point of distinction claimed for
this ear is the patented motor. which
develops thrice the horsepower of any
other motor of equal size.
The ear is priced at $500 j. Q. b
Salem. A ear load is en- route and
demonstration is scheduled for next
week,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
THE STERILIZATION BILL

To the Editor: Considering that we,
the people of the United States, are a
free people, have we the right to take
from those, who are not as able bodied
or able.minded as we are, the rights Civ
en- them by God! No, we have not
For does not "0ur Flag" stand for
{" Liberty. Freedom and Justice" And
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
SOUTHERN PACIFIC PATRIOTIC

San Francisco, Feb. 10.-The entire
facilities of the Southern Pacific com
pany are at the disposal of the United
States army in event of wa. This
was the offer made TO Major General
J. Franklin Bell, commander of the
Western department of the United
States army in telegram from Will
liam Sproule, president of the southern
Pacific,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
DEUTSCHLAND CAPTURED

Pittsburg, Pa, Feb. TO-
Nicholas Murray Butler, presi-
dent of Columbia University,
declared in an interview here
today that the submarine
Deutschland has been captured
by the British.
81 have positiev knowledge
he said, "that the Deutschland
is one of eighty five German
submarines in one British port.
j know that the British have
captured not fewer than 200
German submarines. F"
< X Z Z 4 4 K 4 < < 4 4 4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

For purpose Of comparison, when the
Massachusetts legislature reached its
deadline day for bills, 1886 had been
introduced. Might the Oregon legis-
lature be worse. or is it.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

Spring poets are not SO bad as they
are thought to be. They let mp ON
spring once year, to write valentines,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

( NEW TODAY ADS WILL BE I:
I read in the Journal in all live \
( Marion county honestly 'em. \
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

Take out the old Wood Range and install a
modern Gas Range We are doing this in
number of homes in Salem, why not yours.
Call 85 and we will be glad to have representa-
tive call and give you the necessary information
about making the change.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10

X X X x * X X X x X * x X X \
x For a quiet game Of Pocket i
x Billiards, a good cigar ir the !
K Latest Sporting News, call at 4
X The Up-to-Date Billiard Parlor 4
X 437 State. 4
X X X X * X X X X X X X X y 4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1917-02-10
+ X X X X X X X X y X X X X y
+ OPEN FORUM y

{ x X \ < = :: \ !: x x 4 x \
Continued from page four.)