The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1917-11-09
Little Problems
@cWarried Life
By
WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN
(Copyright)
WHEN THE FAMILY INTERPRETERS.


(CopyrighD
WHEN THE FAMILY INTERPRETERS.
Many a good matrimonial ship, with
Its sunlit cargo of happiness and hope,
has been wrecked on the rocks of fam
lily interference. If it were customary
to erect tombstOnes to the memory
of dead loves the cause of the death
OF marital happiness in thousands of
homes might be given in the chiselled
epitaph: Died From an Overdose of
the Interference of Relatives!'
If there be one place in the world
where the justice of "home rule"
should be unquestioned, that place is
the home. Marriage makes the cou-
pie new firm, an independent partner
ship, not a branch house under the
management of a parent company.
1t was interference and bad advice
that spoiled the first marriage, started
the first quarrel, and broke up the first
home in the world in those early days,
long, long ago when Eden was the only
spot on earth that had even a name.
This was the first lesson to man and
now after sixty centuries some people
have not learned it yet. Husband and
wife must work out their own problems
in their own way.
The problems of two must be solved
by two. They need only kindness,
sympathy, reserve of help in emer-
gencies and free open field all the
time. There is no justification for Cos
sip, criticism, complaint, condemnation
and incendiary meddling by members
of the family. These things should be
put on the list of unnecessary luxuries
In the home and gently, firmly, definite
ly cut off.
We may sometimes be privileged to
help others to live their lives; 1T is ar
| rogant assumption for us to attempt to
live their lives for them. We are told
that we should not bury our talents,
but there is one talent-that of spe-
cial aptness for fmpertinent manage
ment of the affairs of others-that we
should carefully wrap in napkin and
on some dark night, quietly bury for
ever.
1t is in the first years of married
trying and dangerous and it is this very
time when it is most conspicuous and
dominant. No need for the family to
remind the wife that the husband is
not eighteen karat, that he will never
make fortune, that they fear greatly
and then let their fear expand into
long catalogue of detail that fades
away into the dim perspective Of the
unspoken. After the goods are bought
and sent home and cannot be returned,
what is the use Of discouraging the
purchaser?
The wife may think she has the fin
est little home in the world; every
thing seems beautiful to her and she
has even pride in the array of cooking
utensils, dazzling and new in aluminium
and tin, and the dishes ranged care
fully on the pantry shelves. She often
stands at the door and smiles as she
looks into get the general effect at
glance. When the family makes a
tour of inspection, her indiscreet Sis
d
kitchen. You can only wash the small
dishes like cups and saucers in little
box like this" 1t had never seemed
small to her, none of the rooms seemed
small; they held so much love and
hope and happiness that the size did
not count; but now her heart sinks,
and the joy note seems gone and a
cloud comes over it all and she begins
to compare her home with that of some
friend and it suffers. She thinks of
all the other deficiencies pointed out
by the visiting inspectors. She tries
to be brave so she will be smiling
when he comes home but it is hard to
keep back the tears.
When her husbands sister tells her
in confidence, "just to put you on your
guard so you will know how to handle
him." what temper he has, it comes
to her as a surprise and grief, for it
does not seem possible he could ever
speak cross word. When she hears,
still in confidence, about the "girl he
was so much in love with two years
ago and was going to marry" she feels
twingeS of vague jealousy and she
wants to be alone.
He too may suffer from the early
stages of family interference if his
mother begins her maternal vivisec-
ton of his wife. She doubts if she
will prove a good hotsekeeper, but "of
course we have to hope for the best"
Soon the family may begin a cam
paign of education on how she should
manage him. She hears with irritation
the words: "YOu surely won't let him
smoke in the parlor! You know you
can never get the Odor out of the cur
tains and that cartridge paper drinks
in smoke like blctting paper absorbs
ink" If she weakly assents they in
crease the dose; if she rebels they
think she is overconfident and setting
her right becomes more than q pleas
/ &C. L