Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-06-06

Men marry for love. Likewise wOn-
en- That has been the accepted law
from the beginning Of time. Of course
here and there we find exceptions. But
why d 100-pound man should lead
a 300-pound woman TO the altar has al
ways been beyond cur ken. One can
see how the reverse might happen
the ponderoua husband and the little
wife physically speaking When the
husband is the smaller Of the sketch
you can read in his face that he draws
/ the second table when there is com
panE at his house. He is buffaloed for
the remainder Of his days the minute
the final word in the marriage cere-
monv is spoken. And he looks as If
he was conscious or the fact. Never
having got inside information from the
producing end of one of these teams.
one may only conjecture as to how
he gets netted in the first place. It is
not TO be denied that q large woman
can be jolly She usually is. She ex~
udes sunshine wherever her footsteps
lead her On the contrary, little men.
in most instances. are pessimistic.
There IS a reason for 1t. They know
L they get into an argument with a
man Of ordinary size and the words
grow so heated that there must either
he retirement or a resort to arms
that they are the ones that must back
up, or take the consequences, which in
nine cases in ten involves a ride to a
hospital with the attendant humilia-
ton. So the little man ducks trouble
whenever he recognizes it in the dis
lance He feels that every man who
passes him ON the street who meas
ures q foot or more higher than he
looks down at him and says 80 himself,
there is one guy that / could mess up
with one Of my hands tied behind my
back. When he gets into an elevator
nc knows he'll be the last to get out
unless he happens to be pushed lu
front Of some big chap who is In
hurry. lie knows when he approaches
the ticket window at the theatre he'll
receive his ducats only after every
. body else in the line has been accom-
modated. He knows when he drops in
tn buy suit of clothes from the COun-
ter that the salesman viii look him
over and laugh 5nwardly and wonder
why some men quit growing at about
the period when they ought to have
been on the home stretch. He knows
when be buys q bunch Of shirts from
the store thar-th tails must be ampu-
tated TO keep his feet from getting tan
gled up in them. Ffe realizes when he
begins TO admire d girl about his own
size that she regards him with dis
favor. She wants d full man, not an.
odd size. Thus ii is he reaches q real
har50r of comfort when ne h0Vers I'M
der the smile Of the 300-pounder- She
plays him from his mental angle and
he forgets the divergence in their
weights. When she laughs she shakes
enough for both Of them. After she
Eurgles few times in this fashion
he sees visions of d long and contented
married life A fat girl can make love
arfstteaily in either hammock or a
DarIor sofa. Ever notice it, She is
Jolly and so wholesome that YOU for
get her bigness. You don't have to try
10 PUT your arms around her She
heats you 10 il. She places her arms
about you Thus you never know
whether you would have been able to
complete the circle or not The ham
mock at the fat girl S home is always
built close enough TO the surface so
that in case of accident she will not
fall She invariably keeps one foot
on the ground. # the affair begins to
collapse she drops the other foot and
grabs her lover in her arms and he
never knows how close he came to
disaster. We don't mean 10 infer that
far girls are deCeivers Nothing of the
kind. They are simply masters of their
personal hand1caps The little man
always has greater appeal for them
tnaD the larger one. In the first place
1c is easier to win as a husband Then
she settles Tor once and all the ever
present question among the neighbors
as 10 who rules in her household. The
uCIghbors have but to give the phvsi-
caHy minated pair the up and down
when they appear together on the
street. Imagine one Of these little fell
lows attempting TO disagree with his
&90-poand wife over whether she was
to have the Joneses over to the house
tomorrow night for a session at cards.
Just imagine it. if you can.
HUMANITY continues to be our
most unfathomable quantity Yester-
day We had the spectacle Of Joliet pen
itentary inmates riOting to gain their
liberty. while in other parts of the
country men were refusing TO register
with the full knowledge that such re-
sistance would result in the loss OF
their Iiberty-that they would land be-
hind the walls from whose confines
their brethren with the stripes were
seeking to release themselves.
UNTIL read his recent utterance
ts709tiit6 d "ae out iCE RUSSIA nav
ing ali the appearance of a willingness
20 desert her allies Ia order To bring
the lighting TO close, / had always
been an admirer Of Baron Rosen. for
mer ambassador to the United States."
chfrrQped GweDd8lyn over the tele-
phone this morning and I was won
deriug If it would be out OF the wav If a
small consignment of resin was shipped
him from this side. Il might help to
keep him on his feet until such time
as the American commission gets the
chaotic affairs Of his country straight
ened our. Il seems 10 me the baron
is slipping"
street Car Comedy.
see that Ruth Law has been drop
ping bombs IL Cleveland"
Bombs or bums2 ] was about to saw