Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-06-13
Tie Best of Hamor
cood seortes From Many sources.

- HA .rH FAg.#-H. 4. EN1HHL -#rHE'.I aHL H
Good stoeies From Many Sources.
The veteran Journalist. II. g. HID
bert. tells Of 9 chorus girl, the vely
who one evening presented ner WIN
q priceless set of silver sables.
Later she was asked by a compan-
ion how she had spent the day.
"oh," was the reply. those furs
the duke gave me were full Of gray
hairs; ana i've been picking 'em
out"
While one thing essential to a law
yer Is a good knowledge Of Latin, 1t
is not necessary that he should pa
rade his classical learning, for NJ
might be taken down a peg as was
the young lawyer who displayed his
erudition before a downstate jury.
His opponent replied:
Gentlemen of the jury, the young
lawyer who has just addressed YOU
with Cantharides. ripped with Eu-
ripides, socked with Socrates, U
what does he know about the law as
to assault and battery"
"John," whispered the wife. there
must be a burglar downstairs. ne
has Just knocked against the piano
and hit several keys"
"I'll go down." said John prompt-
"oh. John" she begged, don't do
anything rash"
"Rash?" said John in surprise. I'm
going to help him. He can't get that
piano out Of the house alone"
A countryman, seating himself in a
fashionable restaurant with the In
<4Axf~~ ~ oxS,,~ a h4orfy airnnfs
summoned a waiter and made known
his purpose.
The latter skipped briskly away
and soon returned with a handsome
~ bound bill of fare, which he open
ed and placed before the guest, who.
however, pushing it away, scornfully
observed:
literature. vittals is what 1 want
withstand pretty quick, tool"
A noted artist was recently visited
by an interviewer. who fired at him
from a question sheet questions such
as Theses:
We're your parents artistic? Which
Of your paintings do o consider
y wSy d ae't vow %o pa,nt ", Whe How wh mreh ana !
1t bring you in? Who is your favor
lite dead master? Favorite living mas
ter? What is your income from art?
How much"
But at this point the artist seized
the interviewer by the arm and be-
gan in his turn:
Just a moment. please. What is
nalism with you a life work or mere
~ a means to a higher literary end?
How. do you like your editor? State
his faults and salary. What was the
best interview you ver wrote? Give
a brief summary of same. Have you
eysr been fired? How does it feel:
But here the interviewer, jerking
from the studio, and the artist cheer
fully resumed his work.
The last tramp found the pantry
supplies exhausted, but the mistress
made it a rule never to turn any
away empty handed. Here's a nick
el Tor you. my man.. she said to the
frayed and ragged looking Individual
who TODD under the porch with ex-
tended hand. I'm o giving it to
you for charity's sake, but merely be-
aus 1t pleases me-"
"Thankee; but couldn't you make
1t a quarter and enjoy yourself thor
oughly, ma'am ?"s
THE good ladies of the Civic league
are f1ggering on erecting in the pub
lie square a monument to General
Joggles as soon as they can hooraw
the necessary funds out Of the rest OF
us,"a trihe pessinistically said the
of the Petunia tavern.
"A most admirable movement"
automatically returned the washing
machine agent. "But-er-h'm-who
10 General J~oggles?"
"Aw, some Teller that's dead, I
reckon."-Judge.
Calligan is q man with a most fe-
rocious cast of c~ountenance, and be.
ing OF an extremely quarrelsome dis
position, seldom let a week 70 by
without some pugilistic encounter. His
last bout, in which he rot badly
bruised. was on the occasion Of a dog
night. and he met his friend, O'Duffy.
al hour or so after:
Where were We all the day, CALI
"shure. I val away bevant at q
dog fight" answered Calligan.
AN which OF vez won?" inquired
O'Dufy, scrutinizing his pulped fea-
lures.
o'Dufy is said to be now on the
way to convalescence.
The bear that used to walk like a
man is now apparently trying to walk
1i1SA q ~~A-A~A