Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1917-11-16

criticism his mother made. They are |
planting seeds of discord in each 9TH
er's minds, unconsciously stimulating
prejudice and opposition and intensity
ing family interference.
AS the days go on critical appro-
priatiOn from the family committee ON |
interference may grow harder and |
harder to bear. 1t is depressing to live
under the microscope of criticism, like |
an impaled insect. There is often con-
demnation where, If the full facts were
known, there would be only praise. !
There is altogether too much judging
in the world, too much idle intrusive
censorship of the acts of others. 1t is
uncomfortable to hear constantly that
you ought to do this" or "you should
certainly do that" 1t is so easy to
solve the conundrums of another's
life.
The reason that advice is usually of
little value is that it is not based on
q perfect knowledge of the infinity of
detail that makes up condition. Per-
feet advice should fit the situation as
a glove fits the hand; most advice
does not get much nearer than q box
ing glove in the matter of fitting.
That the family interference may
arise from genuine interest does not
excuse 1t nor even explain it; where
love is greatest 1t should be most ten
der and most considerable. There are
times when some tiny flame of misun-
derstanding arises between husband
and wife that a breath of kindly in
depreciation might blow into nothing
ness, but, talked over by the family
and canvassed and debated and in.
tensified, grows into a conflagration.
Under the gossip, often unthinking
Of its evil influence, tiny molehill of
difficulty may become an almost impas-
sable Rocky Mountain range. Oil is
good thing to pour on troubled wa
tiers but 1t is poor to put out fire.
A difficulty that originally concerned
only duet now has been made to af-
feet the whole family choir. 1t is cas-.
Ter for two people to reach loving har-
a
dozen.
Sometimes the interference of fam
lilies becomes even more active and
aggressive than this, and because Of
fancied grievance or a genuine oppo-
sition it actually comes between hus-
band and wife and by harsh criticism
or condemnation seeks to incite strife
and discOrd between them. Here in
slant loyalty Of the one to the other
should assert itself and refuse to listen
to the voice. In an instructive spirit
of protection there should be calm,
dignified protest against the recital
Of what If unessential should never
be spoken, and If of serious import
should be heard only in the presence
Of the one thus charged with what
he or she should have the opportunity
Of denying or disproving instantly, be-
fore the weeds Of suspicion have time
to root themselves in the heart Of
the other.
In many homes, there is some one
in the family, on either side, whose
visits bring q trail Of sadness, sorrow,
protest, bitter opposition, an unneces-
sary and unwarrantable intrusion Of
a discordant element tending to worry,
irritate and perhaps even to bring into
inharmony husband and wife. In this
delicate situation it often seems a prob
lem how best to act. The health and
happiness of the home must be consid-
cred as Of first and greatest impOr-
lance. If it be but trivial inconven-
fence or jar to the domestic serenity.
the wisdom of tolerance for a time
should be manifested.
If it be of more serious menace, i'm
possible to master by patient bearing,
the privilege Of hospitality should not
be strained beyond the bearing point.
There is a moment when sacrifice
ceases to be a virtue and degenerates
into cowardice, vice. There may be an
injustice to oneself and to one near
and dear that this unwelcome guest.
hood outr9ges. 1t is not true hospital
ity to mask the hearts continued pro-
I test under a smile, to submit unneces.
sarily to an atmosphere that saps ones
mental and moral vitality, that dulls
energy, deadens ones finer sensibility
and kills the joy of life, leaving one
worried, weak, worn and weary, unable
to meet as one should the questions OF
, everyday living.
If we constantly suffer injustice thai
we can remove, we are slaves to the
individuality of another and towards
3 to our own. The ranking irritation
of the unjust bearing, if continued, will
= permeate our whole nature, like al
$ emotional poison. We should therefore
: act calmly, wisely, with kindness ant
e dignity, and frankly recognize condi
T tons and with perfect fairness taxi
y the gentlest action that will remed.
: them. Better a short, decisive battl'
i fought to a finish than a constant Sc
, ries Of petty squabbles and skirmishes
n We cannot be just to others If we ar,
u unjust to ourselves. If one lives eve
: under the scepter of the decision o