The Washington herald., 1917-09-20
The PerIIs of n Pescemaker.

1 Alfred Buckner, a soldier of the
First Separate Battalion, was walking
up Seventh street Wednesday night
and saw two boys fighting. He hur-
ried to the scene and tried TO part
them One OF them listened to his
advice and ran away, with the other
boy, Bill Crewe, behind him with a
brick. Bill should have had sense
enough TO let up and go home like
he was told, but he still had plenty
of fight in him.
He lit into Ruckner, and for a few
minutes gave him a good licking.
Then Buckner turned the tables,
GRABBED Bill, and put him down on
the sidewalk helpless. Besides he
had Bill arrested. Judge Pugh COM
mended Buckner and fined Bill S.
He Forgot the Corned Beef.
II it had been winter time yester-
day, Lacey Branch would be waiting
for the grand jury instead of being
a free man. Lacey worked for John
Becker as huckster. The other day
John sent him down the street with
four heads of cabbage and a peck
of potatoes to sell. John waited about
two weeks for Lacey to come back.
Then he got suspicious. Who
wouldn't?
He told his troubles to a policema n
Lacey was nabbed. No one knows
what became of the vegetables, not
even Mr.. Hoover. They were worth
about so cents at present market
prices, but last winter. or this winter.
it would be like stealing a gold mine
John told the court that all that wor-
ried him was the so cents and he was
perfectly satisfied IL he got 1t back
The court agreed to parole Lacey IL
he would promise to pay John for
the cabbage and potatoes.
Just One souse After Another.
| "Ofisha, come wish me, 1 vanish
you to resh a drunken man down in
the alleysh, heesh sho drunk, he al
n1osh nutty."
The policeman to whom Charlie
| Fronet was talking to last Monday
about having someone arrested didn't
have to so to the alley. He had his
hands full with Charlie. And yet
Charlie really wanted someone ar
rested.
At o'clock Charlie had gone to
| his room to sleep off a jag. In the
alley at the side of the house was
another guy. also with a snootful.
! of a drunk coming up beside his
house and going to sleep against the
| wall. The nerve of him. The cop
took Charlie, put him in the wagon,
backed the wagon up to the alley and
! got the other fellow. 1t was thirty
days for each, as neither had $40.
Some Drunks Have Sense.
A few days ago Policeman Talbot
got a hurry call to go down in an
alley near H street. He went. He
saw Lewis johnson sitting on top of
one-legged man, giving him good
beating. Both were stewed. Both
were arrested. And then, faced by
their common enemy, the cop, these
| two fighters Immediately became
friends. Lewis encouraged the other
fellow to resist, but that one couldn't
see it.
And so Lewis tried II alone. He hit
at the cop several times. But it was
no use. He cussed the other man
for not helping him, but the one-leG-
sed man had all he could do to help
himself.
The other man got out on parole
but Lewis must get hold of SIS some
where or go down for forty-five days.
Just Like q Woman.
"Jedge, An am sorry dis woman hit
me, All feels as bad about 1t as she
do but not in the same place. en-
All doesn't want ter see her go ter
jail"
This turning Of the other cheek
was by Dorothy Adams. Dorothy
had Agnes Brown arrested for smack
ing her in the kisser. They had some
catty words together and Agnes was
the quickest of the two.
"She en- me-" went on. Dorothy,
"hab patched up our diffunces, en- we
made UP las night"
alright" said the court, "if you
won't prosecute, I'll have to let her
go. but see that you don't get in
any more fuses"
Here's q New One.
Joe Harry is a horscshoer. The
other day he was shoeing q Missouri
mule. He was very particI,ar about
this job. But when he had finished
he carelessly let go of the business
end of the mule, and promptly got
kick in the eye. When Joe re-
covered he asked who did 1t. John
Fritter. who brought the mule in,
spoke up and said he did and was
proud of It.