davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
NATURAL CURIOSITY.
There Was Subtle humer In the Farm
ere ely Question.

For subtle humor of q rather sly
sort, says John kendrick Bangs In
From Pillar to Post" the best exam
pie I know Of was little ~ perpe-
trated at the expense OF one to whom
shall refer as my Only Muse, who &C
companies me on most Of my trips. She
was with me once in Iowa, where we
were stranded at a little railway cross
Ing for several hours. We took dinner
at the hotel. One or two cOurtesies OF
the table started an acquaintance with
two farmers, and naturally enough
they asked me what my business was
in the state.
"Oh, / am out here lecturing," I said.
"Well, we're farmers" said one Of
the men.
Now. the Only Muse takes great In
terest in farming. She herself raises
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

A certain Scot overlook friend
and was considerably surprised to find
him limping in his walk. After the
usual greetings he remarked:
"Well, Sandy. ye're lameE'
The other Bournfully nodded assent
and then went OH to explain:
"Eh, man. dinna ye ken? cam
hame sober yester' night. and the wife
mistook me for stranger"
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
TIL, LAUGH !. on In. People.

The Tokyo station is architecturally
a Joke and practically a failure, but 1t
is a most imposing pile nevertheless.
1t must be quarter Of mile in
length. Incoming passengers enter at
one end, and outgoing travellers leave at
the other, but II they want to go from
one end Of the station to the other
they have to go out and around. for the
center is reserved for the emperor
Christian Herald.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
No Eiftv.fftv.

II fear my brothers wife 10 a trile
selfish
Doesn't she share the family Joys
and sorrows?'
"Yes. but she figures on taking about
90 per cent Of the joys and 10 per cent
Of the sorrows "-Detroit Free Press.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
Positive sisns.

In New Mexico even public signs
come direct to the point. They do not
waste any time In wondering how the
reader will feel about it.
In garage Mt Albuquerque is posted:
Don't smoke round the tank. II
your life isn't worth anything, gaso-
line Isl"
And on the wall Of BARRIERS shop
at Taos Is prominently displayed:
IF you can't raise Is cents. raise
MISUNDERSTANDING Evening Post.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Jumps of rock candy placed between
the java of nutcracker and suddenly
crushed in n dark room will produce a
Hash bright enough to be seen at dis
lance. This Is caused by a peculiar
Hight produced when certain types Of
crystals are fractured.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

"Have you got any rags to SELF" said
the ragman to a thin looking woman
who was standing at her door.
NO." replied the woman. excepting
those am wearing at the present time
II you want them you must take me.
too"
The ragman scanned the household
err up and down and smile lurked
around his lips
I'm very sorry. ma'am." he replied
as he made for the gate. Il am only
buying rags, not ,bones."-Pittsburgh
Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
MINDED.

Cant you let me have something on
account today. Mr.. Jones?" asked the
bill collector. ut has been running
long time, you know, and
Eyes, 1 know 1t has" snapped Jones'
Its a wonder to me the darned thing
wouldn't get ont Of breath. New
York World.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

widow-I want stone for my hus-
bands grave exactly like the other one
in the lot. Agent-But isn't 1t a trifie
prominence? Widow No. sir. II
Thomas thought stone like that was
good enough for his nrst wife guess
it's plenty good enough fos Thomas
Life.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
A sHADOwY FORM AROSE.

er, and as 1t slid through the doorway
q hoarse voice exclaimed, He wins.
ma ami"
Did you catch himT'
Catch him! l didn't try. just lay
there and laughed and heard him slam
the door and run down the street. And,
say. my wife was so mad she didn't
speak to me for a whole day. But I'll
bet one thing"
What is it?"
"I1l bet that burglar was a married
man."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
For Golfers.

Bunker-Did you read about the golf
er who dropped dead right after max
ing 21O yard drive? Hunker-No.
but 1 have heard of several golfers
who have talked countless friends to
death after boiling ten foot puts
Puck.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
Between Girls.

II caught Harold kissing one Of your
gloves"
well, as was away the dear boy
couldn't kiss me-"
True. But II he could have got
hold of your powder pun he wouldn't
have known the difference. would he.
dearY'-kansas City Journal.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
Elements Of success.

There are four elements Of success
that unite in the man Of mark today
energy. agsressiveness. force. perspi-
cacity-but he who fails to add heart
will never be great. No man can afford
to dispense with service to humanity
Henry Ward Beecher.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
A Joke,

She-I strongly disapprove Of leaving
the word "obey" in the marriage cere-
mony. He-Oh, leave 1t there, my dear.
1t puts a little needed humOr in the
solemnity American.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

"a man should take an interest in
his home
YES" replied Mr. Meekton, but he
shouldn't devote too much Of his life
to being keeper Of the canary bird and
custodian of the rubber tree."-wash-
ingtOn Star.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

John, whatever induced you to buy
house in this fOrsaken regionT'
.One Of the best real estate men in
the business.''-Iife.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

do you remember how hungry I
nd Tndeeven-thirty last nightT'
rom or cid say do
ter Ton know how l appeased my
man. half hour7'
49, did you do7"
EigHt4 clock"
That's nothing. Do you remember
how unlucky I was at the rattle at
twelve-thirty?"
II certainly do"
"Well, l wasn't so unlucky half
hour later"
mo? I'm glad to know that. What
did you win7"
"Ono q clock"
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Mrs. Sob. what beautiful face!
Who Is it? Painter-That. madam. In
your daughter. Mrs. S.-What a per.
feet likeness! ] think you must paint
me!
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Happiness and misfortune stand in
a continual balance. Every misfortune
il. as 1t were. the obstruction Of a
stream. which. after overcoming this
obstacle. bursts through with greater
force.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
A Hou.shold Jsx~,.

rs your new maid competentf'
VERY. She can even fool agents and
peddlers into believing that she's mis-
tress Of the house"
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
Contrary,

People should marry their oppo-
sites"
Most people are convinced that they
did."-st Louis Post Dispatch.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Il woke up suddenly the other night
and thought l heard burglar In the
room. sat up In bed. and that awoke
my WIFE"
what did she dor"
"She accused me. as usual, Of hear
ing a burglar: said I'd never hear
real burglar II lived a thousand years
said I'd bet would. She said she'd
bet l wouldn't And just then shad-
owy form rose from behind the dress
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04
He Had Mona

He-If you refuse me viii blow
out my Trains she-You natter your
sclf.-Puck
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Wisdom provides things necessary,
not superfluous.-
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

The concessions of the weak are the
concessions Of fear.-Burke.
The Meeker herald., 1917-08-04

Labor rids lis Of three great evils
irksomeness. vice and poverty.-voi-
tairs.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
CONGRESS SETS
"A NEW RECORD
FOR WORK DONE
Appropriations Exceed by
Billions Anything in Ma
TONS History

Washington, oct. .. - Chairman
Martin, of the Senate appropriations
committee in a review of the achieve
ments of this session of Congress and
OF appropriations and contract au-
thorizations for the fiscal year 1918
issued to-day, says the session breaks
all records.
THE session." he said, has been
marked by greater volume of legis-
lation and the enactment of meas
ures of more momentous import than
have ever been considered in any
similar period in the parliamentary
history of the country"
Total appropriations aggregate
16,901. .966,S15, which with the total
appropriations for the second session
of the siXty-fourth Congress and the
total contract authorizations for the
fiscal year makes a grand total of
$21, $50, ,730,94O in appropriations
and contract authorizations for the
present fiscal year.
Congress" Chairman Martins
statement adds, has scarcely taken
time to eat or sleep because of the
responsibilities which the war has
imposed"
Any criticism levelled at the SEN
ate and House growing out of the
impatience to place the country up
on a war basis at the earliest pos
sible moment" said Mr.. Martin, 'in
MY Judgment, unfair and indicates
a lack of appreciation or knowledge
of the enormous amount of work
which the two houses of Congress
have performed Responsibilities of
long duration and momentouS in
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05

Neidinger.. Middletown; Charles w.
Hockey. william aBiley. Joseph Les
cure; Joseph w. Lenker. Elizabeth
Vile; William L. Wright. David III.
Frederick; Edward Wise. Middletown;
Harry Judy. Middletown: w. Baird
Potts Charles Boughter. Steelton;
Charles r. Webb. Susquehanna town
ship, Robert Barnett, Steelton; Albert
p. lIttein. Halifax: Alexandria C. Lam
dis;dis; George E. Sides. Highspire;
Edward +. Compton. John M. Bowers !;
John S. Shiffer. Conewago townchip;
Otto Platter, Lykens John X. Henry,
Royalton; Alfred NJ. Cleveland. Jacob
Shiers; George Elvin Tate, Williams
town Erwin Johnson, Abraham X.
Breckenmaker, Walter Klihger. Harry
Mcclure, Mcrkel L. Morgan; Harry
Clempson, Dauphin; William f.. Hess,
Halifax; Charles II. James, Steelton;
William S. Shindler. Allen S. Hart
man, William VanCamp; Levi b. Het-
rick, East Hanover township; David
S. Garman; John Killinger. Penbrook
John Shaffner. Wiconlsco township;
Russell Byers. Susquehanna township;
Henry e. Gordon, Lykens; Arthur G.
Young: Harry Schaffner Middle Pax
ton township; Charles b. White, Rich
ard f. Elnstein; Adam EtZweiler,
Jackson township: Jacob A. II. Bogar,
East Hanover township; William Leh-
man. Upper Paxton township.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
"BEEFLESS DA w. is IA AVORED
BY HOTEL PROPRIETORS HERE
Will Follow P. r. R. in Eliminating Meat From Menu
Tuesdays; Restaurant Owners
Will Follow

members of the local association re-
questing it's entire body to cooper
ate in the patriotic movement. 1t
rests a great deal with the public
as to the success of the "Beefless
Day" issue. The smaller restaurants
should cooperate, as the great mass
of foodstuff is consumed in these.
The Columbus Hotel will gladly
help"
John A. Rose, proprietor and own
err of Roses Grill Room, said: "A
mighty good move-deserving ma
tion-wide cooperation. The only
opposing issue is-What will we
serve instead of meatI-but that will
be easily overcome, as the splendid
crops of the season have already
facilitated matters greatly"
The proprietor of the Crystal Res
taurant has also avowed his purpose
of helping the cause along. He says:
"A splendid idea If carried out. We
will help support the issue If the
bigger fellows take the lead"
OF course, the measure would not
dare stop with the hotel and restau-
rant keepers. 1t must go farther.
Unless "Beefless Day" is observed in
the kitchen of every House Frau 1t
will not meet with the remarkable
success that Herbert Hoover and the
others have anticipated.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05

Harrisburg will cooperate in
making a nationwide "Beefless
Day" a success. Several hotel and
restaurant proprietors have signified
their Willingness to support the is
sue and eliminate bovine portions
from their menus one day each
week. Tuesday is the suggested day.
The movement was suggested by
Herbert Hoover and the larger ho-
tells and restaurants of Philadelphia
and Pittsburgh have already fallen
in line. These with the Pennsylva-
mia Railroad are taking the initia-
tive. The Pennsylvania Railroad is
doing its share by eliminating all
portions containing beef from its
Tuesday menus on dining cars and
in all restaurants of its lines east of
Pittsburgh. ]. Miller Frazier, presi-
dent of the State Hotel Mems Asso-
citation and vice-president of the To-
cal organization, declared the plan
will be followed.
M. e. Russ, proprietor of the CO.
lumbus Hotel and member of the
Pennsylvania Hotel Mems Associa-
ton, declares he will support the
movement. He says: II am very
glad to help and cooperate in the
saving of meat. Very likely there
will be an action brought up by the
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
Hershey School Children
Given Red Cross Banner

Hershey's spirit of initiative and
enterprise was given public apprecia-
tion yesterday afternoon when the
district committee on Red Cross
seals, presented to the school chill
dren of that town. a banner show
| ing that they were the winners of
the seal-selling contest in towns of
the second class.
The remarkable showing of sales
of Christmas seals averaging sey-
| enty-eight per capita, was made by
the Hershey school children. Mem
bers of the district committee on
Christmas seals are: d. d. Ham
melbaugh. chairman: John II. Nc
Candless. secretary; DR.. c. r. Phil
lips and Mrs. William Henderson.
The local Red Cross Seal Commit
tee expects to begin their campaign
for the sale of seals some time next
week
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05

A laxative to-day saves q sick child
tomorrow. Children simply will not
take the time from play to empty
their bowels, which become clogged
up with waste, liver gets sluggish; /;
stomach sour.
Look at the tongue, motheri II
coated, or your child is listless. cross
feverish, breath bad, restless, doesn't
eat heartily, full of cold or has sore
throat or any other children's all
ment, give teaspoonful of Cali
fornia Syrup of Figs then don't
worry, because it is perfectly harm
less, and in a few hours all this
constipation poison, sour bile and
fermenting waste will gently move
out of the bowels, and you have a
we'll, playful child again. A thorough
inside cleansing" is oftimes all that
is necessary. 1t should be the first
treatment given in any sickness.
Beware of counterfeit fig syrups.
Ask your druggist for 50-cent bot
tie of California Syrup of Figs"
which has full directions for babies.
children of all ages and for grown
ups plainly printed on the bottle.
Look carefully and see that it is
made by the California Fig Syrup
Company
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
HALLOWEEN ENTERTAINMENT

Camp Hill, Pa, Oct. 5.-Pupils of
the Camp Hill High school have ar
ranged to give a big Halloween en-
tertainment in the school auditor
ium October 81. Professor Rockey
has appointed the following COM
mittees to make arrangements for
the event: Finance: Misses Re-
hecca Kilbor, Kathryn Smith. Mar
ian Dennison, and Mary Bowlan;
decorating, John Nell, Miss Fannie
Smeltzer, Robert Lebo, Miss Carrie
Thompson, Miss Dorothy Kendall,
Hugh Harrison, Jean Dodge and
James White; entertainment, Miss
Elma Kosier, Kenneth Thomas, Miss
Thelma Breen, Miss Marie Ger
meyer; refreshments. Misses Virginia
Breen, Margaret Rowland, FRANCES
Patterson and Margaret Musser.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
Pipe Bending to Start
on 100000 Order
of Shells For NAVY

When the present order for 200, 900
3-inch shells for the Army is COM
pleted, the Harrisburg Pipe and Pipe
Bending Company will begin work on
another order, for 100000 4-inch
shells, it was announced from the
company offices last evening.
The new contract will necessitate
the increase Of the plants capacity
from 10000 to 10000 shells per week.
1t is possible that 100 or $50 more
skilled workmen will be employed on
this work. There are nearly $500
employees in the plant at the present
time.
w. 7. Hildrup Jr., general manager
of the plant, is authority for the
statement that the present war order
will be completed in a short time, and
commercial orders will be set aside
while the company works on the new
order.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
DRAW JURY FOR
NOVEMBER COURT
Sixty Names Drawn From
Wheel For Civil Sessions
to BE Held Next Month

Sixty names were drawn from the
jury wheel to-day for the jurors to
serve at common pleas court. No
Vember 10, In the following list
where no address is given the juror
resides in the city.
Edgar c. Mumma, Lower Paxton
township; Morris W. Henry. Derry
township; Abraham l.. Wagner. Mid
dletown; Edward II. Strohm. West
Hanover township; David II. Hoover,
East Hanover township; Charles T.
benker, George H. Bowman. PEN
brook; Samuel G.. Ludlow. Harry t.
Llght' David S. Martin; Edgar C.
Hummel Hummelstown; Isaac Deim-
Ier' Lower Swatart township; Daniel
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
LAFOLLETTE TO FACE
PROBE OF HIS TALKS
[Continued from First Page.l
warrant any investigation of the
Missouri Senator.

warrant any investigation of the
Missouri Senator.
To Meet Mt Once
The subcommittee expected to hold
a preliminary meeting late to-day
and begin it's inquiry next week. The
general expectation was that public
hearings would be held at which Sem
ator LaFollette would be given an
opportunity to be heard.
Senator Pomerene made it plain
that the subcommittee's authority is
limited solely to the st. Paul speech
and does not extend to any other ac-
tions or charges against the Wiscon-
son Senator.
A letter sfrom Senator Stone. de-
nouncing imputations and reflections
in the petitions and other commu-
nications on file was presented to the
committee and made the basis for
it's action as to him. Senator Stone
| offered to appear before the commit
| tee, but it wes held that investigation
was unwarranted.
The committees action both as to
Senator LaFollette and Senator Stone
was unanimous. No record vote was
taken.
To Call LaFOIIette
While the course of procedure has
not been definitely outlined. the sub
| Toilette to appear. He will be ask ed
! whether the copy of the st. Paul
| speech before the committee is as he
! delivered it. The subcommittee also
! proposes to call William j. Bryan, to
| question him on Senator EaFollette's S
statement that Mr.. Bryan several
! times urged President Wilson to pre-
vent the sailing of the Lusitania be-
! cause it was alleged an ammunition
| cargo was aboard.
! All committee members emphasized
! that Ahe scope of inquiry ordered is
oXtrS1ely lmited-solely as to the
! accuracy of Senator LaFollette's St
Paul speech and the accuracy OF
! statements therein-and is not to be
regarded as formal inquiry into
anything else.
| Senator LaFollette refused to COM
ment on the committees action, but II
was understood that it would not
| change his plans to make an address
| to the Senate before adjournment re-
! garding criticisms made.
| Washington, Oct. 5.-Investigation
of charges by Representative Heflin
| that certain members of Congress had
"acted suspiciously" in connection
with the wGr and investigation of an
interview in which he is alleged to
have declared that he had heard
members obtained German money by
| being lucky at cards" was begun to-
| day by a House committee
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
War Library Fund
Campaign Will Run.
on Several Weeks

School children lead the list OF
contributions to the Million Dollar
War Library Fund. Miss Alice r.
Eaton's latest receipts are S141 from
the schols. and a check for $4 from
the Story League.
The campaign is to close to-mor-
row evening. but Miss Eaton will re-
ceive at he rofflce in the public H.
brary any other contributions for
the fund.
Harrisburg's total contribution to
the fund, as shown in Miss Eaton's
statement. is $1,SS3, with a shortage
of about $4,000 staring the city in
tho face.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
u. S. WARSHIPS BEGIN
SEARCH FOR RAIDERS
CONTINUED from First Page. !

can schooner C. SlaIe. and three other
prisoners left the island in an open
boat and reached Samoa September
20. where the news of the sea raiders
was made known to the American
naval authorities.
The number of the raiders victims
beyond the four mentioned in the dis
patches from Samoa cannot be ascer-
tained. At least four American owned
vessels are reported overdue on the
Pacific coast from South Pacific ports,
and their owners have abandoned
hope of their safety.
British, Japanese and American
warships will scour the South Pacific
for the two German raiders.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

10 the Editor of the Telegraph:
wish to take this opportunity
to thank you for your kindness in
giving us a good write-up in your
paper on the food conservation train
which the Department of Food Sup
ply of the Pennsylvania Committee
of Public Safety Is sending through
the state.
Your patriotic cooperation has
done much to make this train q sue
cess and I assure you that both the
Food Supply Committee and myself
appreciate your services. Again
thanking you, I am.
Very truly yours
DEPARTMENT OF FOOD SUPPLY.
Howard Heinz. Director.
Use McNeil's Pain Exterminator-Ad.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
Have Narrow Escape
When Auto Turns Turtle

While Charles Wallace, of Enola,
and Miss Marie PeTer, aged 81, of
Calder street, were returning from
the York fair last evening, they mar
rowly escaped death when the car
driven by Wallace turned turtle at a
slarp curve near WellsVille.
Wallace escaped without serious
injuries, but the girl suffered a frac-
ture of the arm and may be injured
internally. The couple were on their
way to Harrisburg when the acci-
dent occurred.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
Can't Find Dandruff

Every bit of dandruff disappears
after one or two applications of
Danderine rubbed we'll into the scalp
with the finger tips. Get a 25-cent
bottle of Danderine at any drug store
and save your hair. After a few ap-
plications you can't find a particle of
dandruff or any falling hair, and the
scalp will never itch.=AdN.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
Sf5.OO0 PERMIT

A building permit was issued to-day
Charles Barnhart, for the erection OF
six three-story brick houses at the
southwest corner OF Eighteenth and
Forster streets, at a cost of $4,000.
Each property will be 16X60 feet.
permit to erect a large iron and
wooden awning at Sever zenith and
Walnut streets was issued to Shammo
Bros
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05
BREAKS LEG IN FALL

While visiting her brother, Charles
Meloy. .915 Norwood street. Mrs. G.. H.
Wieand, 639 Harris street. fell down
the stair from the second floor to the
llrst breaking, the thighbone Of her
right limb, and dislocating her knee
cap. Mrs. Wieand's brother was in
1ured several days ago i'm an acci-
dent on the Reading railroad.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-10-05

character have been knowingly, care
fully and l honestly believe intelli-
gently assumed by the membership
of Congress-"
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1917-01-25
Daily stock Let4ar

NEW YORK, Jan. s5.rb. !,
York Evening Sun financial I've. Me.l
today said: There were brie, 1 i,.s
yals OF greater animation in to .I.st
stock market, but trading as wh.,
was little more extensive tban o's
the previous sessions Of the 49,. =
Traders are not finding It easv ~, !.
get an adequate supply Of stocks ,n ~
the result IL a general stiffeninga NV. y.
prices. " "
Any sudden news Of a beo.,,.
character could have but little st, "a
on such market.
The over might news deyelonme,,.
were scarcely Of nnarketwisa y
nuence. Discussion of a loan
Argentina was the main interest Il, y
the financial circles today. =
In the stock market there pa,i
Particularly good demand for ths
copper stocks. Gains in that ,pro my
ranged from I to 2 points. ''''
Steel stocks were firm. n o,
Steel held for the most part fractios
ally. above ia, up about a poinI
Prices continued strong in the la,s
trading. Business was light. rnns
Island was heavy but developed firm.
ness on the offer to the minority
share holders OF five per cent twent,
year debenture bonds Cor their hold
ings.
Bonds were quiet.