davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15

MY SON. said the father impressive
ly, "you are leading an absolutely use
less life. For the last ten years you
have done nothing but %squander time
and money!
That's all right, dad" replied the
u%nrepentant son. ut isn't as If l wa
asking you to pear the whole burden.
You just furnish the money and I'll try
to find the time."-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15
A Retaining Fee.

Tommy-What is a retaining fee, pa?
"a retaining fee, my son, is the mon
ey people pay to us lawyers before we
can do any work"
ooh, | see. It's like those slot chloe
olate machines. The people have to
put in their pennies before they get
any chocolate"
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15
The Modern Child.

Father. does a lamb gambol?"
"At times. my SON."
'Then if you grabbed a lamb by the
leg you would be pinching a gamboling
joint, wouldn't yOu?"
(Exeunt father, child and slipper)-
Cornell Widow.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15

I'm afraid I'm going to lose my
temper when | make this speech" said
Senator Sorghum.
Deliberately"
Yes. Some of the remarks | want
to make will never be excused unless
it can be claimed they were said in the
heat of debate. '-Washington Star.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15
Base lnqratitude.

Father ito his son, a doctor)-If this
isn't the limit. 1 pay all that money
for you to study medicine and the first
thing you do is to cut me off my drink!
~-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15

When you leave Pleasantville to es-
tablish a home in some other locality,
you will want to keep in touch with
your home town. Don't fail to have
The P|leasantville Press sent to your
address each week. 1t costs only 81
ia year in Atlantic County, and $1.25
outside the County, and you get many
times your moneys worth.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15

1t is always safe to learn even from
our enemies. e W safe to instruct
even our friendS.-Colton.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15

FOR SALE.-A gas radiator, in good
condition; $1.50. Apply Pleasant
vile Press office.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1917-09-15
Absecon

The M. E. Ushers' Union had a good
time last Monday night, when all pres
ent enjoyed a "Corn-Roast". The I'm
ion will have some fine social affairs
in the near future for the young peo-
D1o
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

ated exclusively entitled
republication of dispatches credited
local pub
shed herein All rights of republication OF special dis
herein also reserved
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
Are Proprietary Medicines
Fraudulent?

Undoubtedly, there may be some
that are, but on the other hand, there
are many proprietary remedies that
are as standard as any prescription
that any present day physician can
write, and in thousands of homes you
will find these old, reliable remedies
in every day use with satisfactory re-
suits. Such medicine is Lydia E..
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
which, for nearly 40 years, has been
alternating the suffering of woman
kind, and overcoming some Of the
most serious ailments of her sex If
you are suffering from any of the all.
ments of women, just give this med
icine trial and prove its worth for
your self.-Adv
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
vital doctrine Of service to humanity found littl

vital doctrine of service to humanity found little
response.
Today we have every reason to be grateful
that we may be listed with the nations that are
allied on the side of humanity and justice against
tyranny and despotism.
If our new alliance costs fortune and blood,
let the sacrifice be made. No great forward step
in the history of the race was ever accomplished
without the expenditure of man power and for
tune. Let US be thankful that we can share in
the undertaking.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
OKfo5P71T
|of + h@}eo
n Rou K.NouZton

when the colonel doesn't make a
speech.
When woman wears one OF those
diaphanous Broadway gowns these
days, you can never say she has nc
visible means of support.
A lot of SPIES are getting their just
(FrenchJ deserts over in Paris just
now.
A little shooting at sunrise is a
wonderful deterrent to treachery.
AN APPRECIATION
Who boards the lion in his den,
And tells him what is what and when
Respected by his felIowmen?
Lloyd George.
Who thinks the facts are best to state
Who never will equivocate,
And keeps folks fooled until too late
Lloyd George.
ST. Louis judge has decided that tip
ping porter is voluntary act. The
judge must be a great stay-at.home
He should travel a bit.
Occasionally in this old vale Of tears
a person finds his or her proper
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29

Enclosed find a one dollar money
order. Please send to me one box
Bliss Native Herb Tablets | have
used one box At first l took two tab
lets every night and now take about
one-f1fth of tablet every night, as my
bowels are more regular l have suf-
fered from constipation for eighteen
years, and this is the only medicine
that has done the work in the right
way.
REV. BEN WEST.
Houston, Tex"
Every mail brings us testimonials
from people in all walks of life as to
the beneficial results from taking Bliss
Native Herb Tablets They are the
only rcnnsni7od standard horI,. -9-1 od-y
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29

CARTOONS ARE SUGGESTED
FOR THE CONGRESSIONAL
RECORD" NO USE. 1T COULD
GOT BE ANY FUNNIER THAN IT
S NOW
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
III n n e T.
s tor / e -

Dinner was a little late. A guest
asked the hostess to play something.
Seating herself at the piano, the good
woman executed a Chopin nocturne
with precision She finished. ana
there was still an interval of waiting
to be bridged. In the silence she turn.
ed to an old gentleman on her LETT ana
said: Would you like sonata De-
fore dinner"
He gave start of surprise and
pleasure. Why, yes, thankst" he SAID.
Il had a couple on my way here, Du1
think could drink another
Mayor Mitchell said at a recent din
ner:
Insurance rates, now that were at
war, will naturally go up. heard the
other day about a young fellow VINO
went to an insurance agent and said
"I'd like to take out policy
please
Very good, sir said the agent,
Sit down and have a cigar. Now
then, what kind of a policy do you
want to take out-life, fire, burglary
accident. murder, drowning, assassin
alton or mariner
"I'u take the whole caboodle OF
them, said the young man. I'm going
to try to cross to England through the
U.boat blockade
Il once wrote on a blackboard,
says a Philadelphia teacher, these
words: The toast was drank in 81
lence," and then asked my class, Car
anyone tell me what the mistake in
this sentence is?'
1.-The pupils pondered Then a little
girl held up her hand. and at NOD
from me went to the board and wrote
the following correction:
1.-The toast was ate in silence.
| He had captured a prisoner, ano
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
GLYCERINE MIXTURE
FOR APPENDICITIS

Richmond people can prevent appen-
dicitis with simple buckthorn bark,
glycerine. ETC.. as mixed in Ad-ler-i-ka.
ONE SPOONFUL flushes the ENTIRE
bowel tract so completely it relieves
ANY CASE sour stomach, gas or con-
stipation and prevents appendicitis.
The INSTANT, pleasant action of Ad-
leri-ka surprises both doctors and
patients. Leaves stomach clean and
strong. Thistlethwaite's drug stores.
ADV.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
Thanksgiving Day

What have we Americans to be thankful for
today?
Perhaps the question has flashed through the
minds of many Americans.
We wonder what Providence has done for us
in the past year to arouse spirit of gratitude in
our souls Seemingly we have more to cavi
against more to be distressed about, more to be
discouraged about, and less to be thankful for,
less occasion for spirit of gratitude than in for
mer years.
For the first time in our history, we are cele-
brating Thanksgiving Day with thousands of our
brothers and sons fighting on European soil, far
from familiar scenes and their daily vocations.
For the first time i'll our history we have been
called on to raise tremendously large sums of
money to finance a military undertaking whose
ramifications are reaching into every home and
y ffecting every person. Apparently we are in
seasoi. Of sacrifice that does not harmonic very
well with the spirit of Thanksgiving Day.
Have reason to be thankful?
This apparent contradiction is only superfici-
al We really have much to be thankful for
Our entrance into the war is subject for
which we may be devoutly thankful. For the
first time in our history we have been permitted
to enter into coRflict that will settle forever
whether the race IS to be led to higher plane of
civilization whether will permit it to retro
grade to the level that makes MIGHT the DOM
mating principle and OPPRESSION the ruling
passion. We are factors in that gigantic issue.
Truly great privilege, provocative of our
deepest gratitude.
This war has given us new avenue of serv-
ice. President Wilson in his Thanksgiving Day
proclamation struck this the dominating tone,
and the American people will do well to ponder its
significance as it pertains to their national life
Thanksgiving Days in the last four decades
did not drive home the great spiritual message of
the day. To be sure, we ceased work, we laid
aside business cares, but we did not thank Provi-
dence for our blessings. We were surfeted with
prosperity and happiness, and so gratitude and
appreciation found little place in our souls The
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29

He had captured a prisoner, and
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
A Thanksgiving Thought

Now let US thank the Eternal Power; convinced
That Heaven but tries our virtue by affection
That oft the cloud which wraps the present hour
Serves but to brighten all our future days.
John Brown.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29

while they waited for the escort to-
come up he said: Have you wife?"
"Nein," answered the German.
Miner" gasped the Tommy. "Lum-
mel where's yer Iron Cross ?"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
SHERIFF HANGS SELF

PERU, Ind, Nov. 29.-Abram Shill-
ing. former sheriff of Miami county,
committed suicide Wednesday by
hanging himself He had been in i'll
health for some time.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
Palladium Want Ads Pay.

for the relief of constipation, kidney
and liver complaint, and the many ills
arising from a disordered stomach.
When you buy a box of Bliss Native
Herb Tablets you receive guarantee
that If they don't do all we claim for
them your money will be refunded.
Start in today and begin taking them.
One tablet at night will make the next
day bright. The genuine Bliss Native
Herb Tablets are put up in yellow
boxes of two hundred tablets each,
and bear the photograph of Alonzo o.
Bliss. Look for the trademark on
every tablet.
Price 81 per box. Sold by Glenn
Thistlethwaite, and local agents every
where ADV
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
THE SORROWS OF sYLvEsT


.SyIvest was gloomy when he pulled
he old street piano up to the curb last
hight and played "a may Be Gone for
Long, Long Time SyINest always
plays that, but he is never gone even
;or a short time.
When he came around with the tam
,ourine we asked him the cause of his
crouch, and he said:
"Meester, eet ees more troub.
Niqht benin last business she is poor
an | play by da saloon of O'Flaherty
& Eros. an beeaa guy he came out
an say: 'Wop, why for you SO sad
,re?' an | say: 'Meester, so sad am
because business she not is. No eetta
la nick like used to- an he say: .Woo.
lie trouble ees you playa de pian' in da
wrong place You see da beeea stone
,uiIdng three block down street,
What? Well. you 90 play da pian' by
Ia beeg stone building an you get
plenty da nick. yes.
San so an my Mariouche we taxa
la plan down by da beesa stone build.
ng an | playa da large loud tune, and
pretty queek two mans came running
,ut and boiler, Shot opp da plan an
, policeman he come an soaka me on
Ia knob with hees stick an drag me
da station.
"Een da morning da judge he say:
Wop, why for you playa da plan in da
Iuiet zone by da hospit. what?' an !
,ay: Judge, | not know she ees da
,ospit,' an he say: We'll, you know
let now. Nine dollar and cost
"Too mocha troub, n1eester. ] not
make nine dollar. in nine night. A
lick, meester? Oh, thank you meester,
much
CARTOONS ARE SUGGESTED
FOR THE CONGRESSIONAL
RECORD. NO USE. IT COULD
GOT BE ANY FUNNIER THAN IT
S NOW.
Surgery is again being urged as a
ure for crime.
There is something in it. Ampu-
ating a pickpocket's hands will cure
i'm about as quickly as anything
ould.
It is claimed that four new words
re added to the English language
very day.
,s..t -,r.-' $3.50 = $40, -i,r ally
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1917-11-29
sphere. For instance, at Alpena, Mich.
Mrs. Lightfoot teaches dancing.

New York scientist declares that
only one man In five is fit to marry
Probably he means that the other four
| haven't enough money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
STOCKS OF CORN IN
 CHICAGO SMALL
Amount of Corn in Store in Chicago Reduced to Low
 est in Many Years

Chicago. october 22.--A decided upshot which took place in corn prices today re- suited largely from the fact that tlre amount of corn on hand in Chicago had been reduced to the smallest total in many years. The market closed strong, to 2lzc net higher, with December sl.16s4 a1.lsA, and May sLt0sq1.
 Oats advanced A to B to 5sc, and pro visions 20 cents to s1.50.
 An aggregate of $500 bushels of corn in Chicago elevators today contrasted sharply with t,05S,0o0 bushels a year ago, and drew attention to the meagerness of the visible supply in the country as q whole, ,000 bushels, as against s,S10. 00@ bushels last year. In this connection smallness Of hedging sales were taken to indicate but slight prospect of stocks ac- cumulating at terminals especially as talk was current of pronounced car scare ty at rural stations and of insufficiency of labor for rapid work in husking and shucking.
 Oats derived strength almost wholly from the bulge in the corn market.
 Assertions that recent drastic breaks in the price of pork and ribs had carried those commodities far below the cost of manufacture led today to notable upward swings in the provision market.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
Shepard & Gluck's Letter
(By Campbell's Wire.)


 Liouidation was the chief influence at work in cotton today and 1t broush. about a decline of half cent pound in the early session, in the face Of an- other cold wave advancing upon the belt and predictions of rain, snow and ice. The selling pressure of the early trading was not we'll sustained and fresh buying gradually caused re- covery. the market in early afternoon being back at. practically last weeks close At the lowest most active months were 52 to 54 points down.
 The evening up of the last few days makes for a much healthier market and we can see no reason why further inn portant decline should be brought about. Spots are holding their own, middling in this market being un- changed at 27.50c today, the adverse weather conditions forecast for the next two or three days will interfere with picking and damage open cotton and on Thursday the census bureau will put out ginning figures which can hardly help being small To us, the outlook is for a gradually higher mar ket as the result of inflence of strictly legitimate factors.
 There is much talk of a prolonged reaction and of present prices being high enough to discount the crop. no matter how small it may be. We might be inclined to listen to such talk but for the fact that cotton goods are on a much higher basis than has yet been reached by cotton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
HUNTSVILLE

Huptsville. October g. (Special.) l.)--John Harris, the oldest Confederate veteran in Madison county, was found dead in bed at the home of his daughter at Hazle Green Saturday. He was 96 years old, and for many years had been farmer in the Hurricane precinct of this county When the civil war opened up he was 4l years old and he enlisted in the Thirty fifth Alabama infantry immediately. He was captured at Nashville and sent to Camp Chase, where he remained until the end of the war. Three children. all past middle age, survive him.
 The Madison county board of exemp- tions Is calling for young men who were previously examined for the national army and exempted for physical disabili- ties. to come in for another examination October 26
 Quincy B. Love, former manager of the Hotel Twickenham of this city. has leased hotel in Danville, ky. and has moved to that city to reside.
 Judge Grubb and other officials of tho United States court arrived here late to. day and will convene the fall term oa court tomorrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
New York Futures
New Orleans Cotton

New Orleans October 22.-Consid- erable pressure was put against the cotton market here in the early trad ing today but later the one steadied. After a half cent decline there was practically complete recovery and closing prices were 1 point up to 4 points down compared to the closing quotations of Saturday.
 s The markt opened at the decline and much of the early selling was in liqui- dation of long contracts and more or less short selling based on the theory that prevailing prices discounted bull- ish influence. Thus, the cold wave forecast for the belt fell flat, although bullish traders contended 1t would probably work much harm to open cotton and interfere with picking.
 A feature of the session was the rumor a million bales of cotton were owned in this country by German in- terests and were liable to seizure. While this swelled offerings for a while it was soon dismissed as ab- surd.
 In the afternoon the steadiness of the spot department, quotations there being unchanged at 27.50c for middling was source of strength, but at no time did the market develop any real buying power. At the highest Janu- ary was points up, net, other months not showing net advances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
Spot Cotton
Pig Iron
ARLIE BARBER PLANS
 TO BECOME LAWYER
Announces He Has Established Con- nection With Firm of Allen,
 Bell & Sadler

Arlie Barber will become . lawyer.
 The present commissioner of public safetys who was recently defeated for the presidency of the city commission. yesterday declared that he would at once take up the study of law in the offices of Allen. Bell and Sadler. fol- lowing the expiration of his term as commissioner of public safety on Mo- vember 6.
 "I have made connection with this firm and will at once begin to study law--that Is. to perfect my course which I have been studying for sometime" stated MT. Barber to an Age-Herald rep resentative yesterday.
 It is a we'll known fact that MT. Bar Der has been studying law for sometime in his spare moments and that he had intended taking up this profession in case he was not returned to the city hall in the past election. It is stated that his connection is most satisfac- tory one and that he will soon appear before the courts in due and accepted form, as he expects to stand the bar ex- aminations soon and 1t Is not doubted that he will pass the legal examinations successfully.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
Hubbard Bros. & Co.'s Letter

New York, October 22-(Specia1.) large orders to sell appeared at the opening and continued during the forenoon from Wall Street and western sources. They would seem to have been based on a newspaper article that the government had taken possession of 100000 bales of cotton belonging to Germany, which would immediately be for sale Cotton men wondered where the 100000 bales could be found, as the census statement of cot ton in warehouses on July 31.. showed several hundred thousand bales less than 100000 bales in the United States. It was recalled that late in 1914 some cotton was said to have been bought for German account, which the cotton trade believe has long since been sold excepting minor quantity contracted to be delivered after the war The short interest has been largely increased and the wealth
 CT predictions are for a sevee cold wave followed by rain or snow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-10-23
COTTON SHOWS NO
 BUYING POWER
Early Declines Recovered on Firm Showing of Spot
 But No Snap in It

New York, October 2.--A sharp early break was followed by a recovery in the cotton market today, owing to the con tinued bullsh average of weather and crop news. December rallied from 26.65c to N.95c, and closed at 27.27c, with the general close closing very steady, net points lower to points higher.
 The market was very much unsettled at the start, and often opening 5 to % points lower, sold 55 to D points below Saturdays closing figures during the first few minutes. There had been good deal of reactionary feeling around the ring late last week. and a good many selling orders seemed to have accumu- lated over Sunday while nervousness was evidently increased by the publica- tion of report that the United States government was planning to seize cotton held for German account in this country amounting to 1000, 900 bales. This seemed to create an impression in some quarters that large amount of cotton previously held off the market might become avail able. Local cotton men and statistlclans, however, said they could not reconcile the cotton mentioned in the talk of German holdings, with the known facts concerning available supplies and after the first rush of selling had subsided, the market turned firmer. The western belt forecast for still colder weather and snow in northwest Texas was factor on the rally, while the detailed weather reports showed freezing temperatures in many points. There was covering by early sellers and a renewal of trade de- mand on the rally from 26.18 to 2695c for January, and from 26.00 to 26.7Oc for March, with the general list selling about net unchanged to points higher dur ing the late trading. A southwestern re- port says the crop indication on October g pointed to a yield of Il, 1S6O0o bales ex- cluding linters.