davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
PLANS NEW WEATHER BUREAU
Uncle Sam VIII Establish Station In
New Possessions and Reoroanze
Entire Caribbean Service.

st. Thomas, in what formerly was
the Danish West Indies, is to be the
newest of Uncle Sans weather bureau
stations In the Caribbean.
Maj. Henry B. Hersey, meteor
ologist in the weather bureau, has been
sent on trip through the West Indies,
not only to organize a station at st.
Thomas, but to reorganlze the entire
chain of stations In the Caribbean.
New stations are to be opened up at
Belize, Honduras, at Blueflelds, Mica
ragua and at Porto Plata, Santo Do
mlngo. The bureau asked the British
government to open up stations on sew
eral small British islands. The ships of
the United Fruit company are being
asked to send In regular reports by
wireless.
The only weather and storm fore
casts for the Caribbean are issued by
the United States weather bureau-in-
deed, no other government ever at.
tempted 1t. When the Spanish war
oroke out the navy had absolutely no
way to get forecasts of hurricanes,
and a real hurricane probably would
have wiped out the entire navy.
President Mckinley asked for an
emergency appropriation for weather
bureau service and one was started
just as the hurricane season opened
In July of that year, so that the navy
had warning of all approaching storms.
Since then the number of stations
has been increased.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
MEAT CAUSE OF
KIDNEY TROUBLE
Take Salts to flush Kidneys if
Back hurts or Bladder
bothers.

II you must have your meat every
day, eat it, but flush your kidneys
with salts occasionally, says noted
authority who tells us that meat forms
uric acid which almost paralyzes the
kidneys in their efforts to expel 1t
from the blood. They become slug
gish and weaken, then you suffer with
a dull misery in the kidney region,
sharp pains in the back or sick head
ache, dizziness, your stomach sours,
tongue is coated and when the wealth
er Is badIyou have rheumatic twinges.
The urine gets cloudy, full Of sedi-
ment, the channels often get sore and
irritated, obliging you to seek relief
two or three times during the night.
To neutralize these irritating acids,,
to cleanse the kidneys and flush off
the body's urinous waste set four
ounces of Jad Salts from any phar-
macy here; take tablespoonful in
glass of water before breakfast for q
few days and your kidneys will then
act fine. This famous salts is made
from the acid Of grapes and lemon
juice, combined with litlia, and has
been used for generations to flush and
stimulate sluggish kidneys, also to
neutralize the acids in urine, SO 1t no
longer irritates, thus ending bladder
weakness.
Jad Salts Is inexpensive; cannot In
jure, and makes delightful efferves.
cent lithia-water drink.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
TAKES OFF DANpRuFF,
HAIR STOPS FALLING
Save your HaIrl Get a 25.cent bottle
OF panderlne right now--Aiso
stops Itching scalp.

Thin, brittle, colorless and scraggy
hair Ia mute evidence o neglected
scalp; of dandruff-that awful scurf.
There is nothing so destructive to
the hair as dandruff. It robs the hair
OF Its lustre, its strength and its very
life; eventually producing feverish.
ness and : ing of the scalp, which
II not remedied causes the hair roots
to shrink. loosen and die-then the
hair falls out fast. A little Danderine
tonight--now-any time-will surely
save your hair.
Get 25-cent bottle Of Knowlton's
Danderine from any drug store. You
surely can have beautiful hair and
lots OF It II you will Just try little
danderine. Save your hairl Try Ill
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
LADIES'! DARKEN
YOUR GRAY HAIR
Use Grandma's Sage Tea and
Sulphur Recipe and Nobody
will Know.

The use of Sage and Sulphur for re-
storing faded, gray hair to its natural
color dates back to grandmother's
time. She used 1t to keep her hair
beautifully dark, glossy and attractive.
Whenever her hair took on that dull,
faded or streaked appearance, this
simple mixture was applied with won
derful effect.
But brewing at home is mussy and
out-of-date. Nowadays, by asking at
any drug store for so cent bottle Of
"Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com
pound" you will get this famous old
preparation, improved by the addition
of other ingredients, which can be de-
pended upon to restore natural color
and beauty to the hair.
A wellknown downtown druggist
says it darkens the hair so naturally
and evenly that nobody can tell it has
been applied. You simply dampen a
sponge or soft brush with 1t and draw
this through your hair, taking one
strand at time. By morning the
gray hair disappears, and after an
other application or two, it becomes
beautifully dark and glossy.
Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com
pound is delightful toilet requisite
for those who desire a more youthful
appearance. It Is not intended for the
cure, mitigation or prevention of dis
ease.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
q
YES! MAGICALLY!
C0RNS LIFT OUT
WITH FINGERS


You corn-pestered men and women
need suffer no longer. Wear the shoes
that nearly killed you before, says
this Cincinnati authority, because a
few drops Of freezone applied directly
on tender, aching corn or callus,
stops soreness at once and soon the
corn or hardened callus loosens so 1t
can be lifted out, root and all, with
out pain.
A small bottle of freezone costs
very little at any drug store, but will
positively take off every hard or soft
corn or callus. This should be tried,
as it is inexpensive and is said not
to irritate the surrounding skin.
If your druggist hasn't any freezone
tell him to get small bottle for you
from his wholesale drug house. 1t is
fine stuff and acts like charm every
time,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Look and Feel
Clean, Sweet and
Fresh Every Day
Drink a glass Of real hot water
before breakfast to wash
out poIsons.

Life is not merely to live, but to
live we'll, eat well, digest well, work
well, sleep well, look well. What
glorious condition to attain, and yet
how very easy 1t is If one will only
adopt the morning inside bath.
Folks who are accustomed to feel
dull and heavy when they arise, split.
ting headache, stuffy from a cold, foul
tongue, nasty breath, acid stomach,
can, instead, fell as fresh as a daisy
by opening the sluices of the system
each morning and flushing out the
whole of the internal poisonous stag
nant matter.
Everyone, whether ailing, sick or
well, should, each morning, before
breakfast, drink glass of real hot
water with teaspoonful Of limestone
phosphate in it to wash from, the
stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels
the previous days indigestible waste,
sour bile and poisonous toxins; thus
cleansing, sweetening and purifying
the entire alimentary canal before
putting more food into the stomach.
The action Of hot water and limestone
phosphate on an empty stomach is
wonderfully invigorating. 1t cleans
out all the sour lamentations, gases,
waste and acidity and gives one a
splendid appetite for breakfast. While
you are enjoying your breakfast the
water and phosphate is quietly ex-
tracing a large volume of water from
the blood and getting ready for thor
ouph flushing of all the inside organs.
The millions of people who are
bothered. with constipation, bilious
spells, stomach trouble, rheumatism;
others who have sallow skins, blood
disorders and sickly compilations are
urged to get quarter pound of lime,
stone phosphate from the drug store,
which will cost very little, but is suf-
ficient to make anyone pronounced
crank on the subject Of internal sani-
tatiOn
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Why he Came Home.

Roscoe Boone, Muncie electrical
contractor, went home late the other
afternoon to find Mrs. Boone enter
tanning a company of women at cards.
He had forgotten about the party, and
besides 1t was the usual period of the
day for him to remember about the
evening meal. .-
"Oh, Mr. Boone" said one Of the
guests as he stumbled upon the room
filled with women, did you come home
to supper?"
"Oh, no; not at ALL" he replied gal
lantly, even If somewhat confusedly.
II just came home to see what time it
was."-Indianapolis News.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Pm Simply Covered
With Eruption
What CGt, ! do ?

81 can't rest, can't sleep, and most
of all, hardly dare go out, for when
1t starts itching, simply have to
scratch, no matter where am"
Don't worry bit-just get a cake
of Resinol Soap and jar of Resinol
Ointment. Use them according to d.
rectlons and l am sure you will get
prompt relief, and that your skin will
be all right in few days" Resinol
Soap and Ointment are sold by all
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
END STOMACH TROUBLE,
GASES OR DYSPEPSIA
"Pape's DIapepsIn" makes Sick, Sour,
Classy stomachs surely feel fIne
In five minutes.

II what you Just ate Is souring on
your stomach or lies like lump Of
lead, refusing to digest, or you belch
gas and eructate sour, undigested
food, or have a feeling Of dizziness,
heartburn, fullness, nausea, bad taste
In mouth and stomach-headache, you
can get blessed relief in five minutes.
Put an end to stomach trouble forever
by getting large fifty-cent case of
Pape's Diapepsin from any drug store
You realize in five minutes how need
less 1t is to suffer from indigestion,
dyspepsia or any stomach disorder.
It's the quickest, surest stomach doc,
tor In the world. It's wonderful.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

The mighty restorative power of
Doctor Pierce's Favorite Prescription
speedily causes all womanly troubles
to disappear-compels the organs to
properly perform their natural func-
tions, corrects displacements, over
comes Irregularities, removes pain and
misery at certain times and brings
back health and strength to nervous,
irritable and exhausted women.
For all diseases peculiar to women,
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is
powerful restorative. For nearly
80 years it has banished from the
lives of tens OF thousands of women
the pain, worry, misery and distress
caused by Irregularities and diseases
OF feminine character.
What DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription has done for thousands IL
will do for you. Get it this very day
from any medicine dealer, in either
liquid or tablet form; or send so cents
TO DR.. Pierce, lnvalids' Hotel, Buffalo,
N. Y, for trial box of tablets.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
A Lesson In Grammar.

Grace's uncle met her on the street
one day and asked her whether she
was going out with picnic party
from her school.
mo-" replied the 8-year-old niece, II
amt going"
"My DEAR" said the uncle, "you
must not say I amt going You must
say I am not going.'" And he pro-
ceeded to give her a little lesson in
grammar. "You are not going. He
is not going. We are not going. You
are not going. They are not going.
Now, can you say all that?"
"Sure l can," responded Grace,
heartily, There amt nobody going"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Handling the Receiver

WELL" said the far west mayor to
the English tourist, II dunno how you
manage these affairs over there, but
out here, when some of our boys got
tied up in that thar bankrupt telephone
company | was tellin' yer about, they
became mighty crusty!"
"Oh!"
"Yus; they didn't like the way the
receiver was handlin' the business no
how"
Indeed" commented the earnest
listener; then, may ask what they
did?"
"Sartinly; l wuz goin' ter tell yer.
They just hung up the receiver
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Home Life.

"Prof. Diggs, the famous archaeol.
ogist, is said to have discovered half
dozen buried cities"
"Mrs. Diggs ought to be proud of
him."
well, yes. But she would probably
have more respect for his ability as
an explorer II she didn't have to find
his hat for him nearly every time he
leaves the house, Birmingham Age
Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
serap Leather for shoss

Everywhere efforts to find substi.
tute for leather are being made. A
new and recently-patented method Of
soles for shoes from
scrap leather is described In report
made to Uncle Sans department OF
commerce by Consul H. NJ. Byington,
Leeds, England. While he does not
give details concerning the process,
Mr.. Byington says 1t is asserted that
the soles thus produced are nonsuc.
ton, nonslipping and waterproof, and
can be made at q much lower cost than
the ordinary leather solA
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
10 CENT "CAsCARETs"
FOR LIVER AND BOWELS
Cure Sick Headache, Constipation,
BIliousness, Sour Stomach, Bad
Breath--Candy Cathartlc

No odds how bad your liver, stom-
ach or bowels; how much your head
aches, how miserable you are from
constipation, Indigestion, biliousness
and sluggish bowels-you always get
relief with Cascarets. They. imme-
diately cleanse and regulate the stom-
ach, remove the sour, fermenting food
and foul gases; take the excess bile
from the liver and carry off the con-
stipated waste mntter and poison
from the intestineJ and bowels. A
10-cent box from your druggist will
keep your liver and bowels clean;
stomach sweet and head clear for
months. They work while you sleep.
--Advt.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
IF YOUR CHILD Is GRO s,
FEvERlsH, coNSTIPATED
Look Motherl II tongue 10 coated,
cleanse little bowels with "calI-
fornIa Syrup OF TIqs."

Mothers can ret easy after giving
California Syrup Of Figs" because in
a few hours all the clogged-up waste,
sour bile and fermenting food gently
moves out of the bowels, and you have
well, playful child again.
Sick children needn't be coaxed to
take this harmless fruit laxative" !"
Millions Of mothers keep 1t handy be-
cause they know its action on the
stomach, liver and bowels is prompt
and sure.
Ask your druggist for a 50-cent bot
tie of California Syrup of Figs"
which contains directions for babies,
children Of all ages and for grown-ups.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
HAVE SOFT, WHITE HANDS
Clear Skin and Good Hair by Using
Cuticura-Trial Free.

The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal. Besides
these fragrant, super-creamy emol-
lients prevent little skin troubles be-
coming serious by keeping the pores
free from obstruction. Nothing better
at any price for all toilet purposes.
Free sample each by mail with
Book. Address postcard, Cuticura,
Dept. L, Boston. Sold everywhere.
ADV,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Wanted Help.

Wilis-Did the efficiency expert that
you had at your office accomplish any
thing?
Gilis-Well, he made some good dis
coveries, but spoiled them by his re-
commendations. For instance, he found
out that the office boy was wasting
considerable time and recommended
that we engage an assistant to roll his
cigarettes.-Puck.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Worth While.

Jake Johnson, a native of Georgia,
was summoned to court on an assault
charge. The state brought into court
the weapons used-a huge pole, dag
ger, pair Of shears, saw and gun.
Jackson's counsel produced as the
complainant's weapons an ak, shov-
Ell, a scythe, a hoe and pair of tongs.
The jury was out but a short while
and returned with this verdict: ere
solved, That we, the jury, would have
given $5 to see the fight. Santa Fe
Magazine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
At the Rehearsal.

"You must bring that mermaid in the
moving picture sea story more up to
date"
whats the matter with the ar
rangement now?"
'In posing her on the rock you've
given her golden harp. For heavens
sake, man, take 1t away and give her a
ukulele. ."-Baltimor American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Not Much to Say.

"You have sworn to tell nothing but
the truth" .s.
Nothing but the truth your honor?"
Precisely"
"Then, Judge, with that Limitation
upon me / might as well warn you
that I'm not going to have much to
say."-Detroit Free Press.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Ihe Boston Wax

They tell in Boston a story about
Margaret Deland, the novelist.
A lank little girl at a Cambridge tea
walked up to Mrs. Deland and said to
her in loud voice:
II think you are wonderful genius.
All within hearing applauded, and
Mrs. Deland blushed with delight,
kissed the lank child and asked:
why do you say that, my lover"
Because" said the little girl,
mother told me to- Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

Questions Of Ser7-Are fully and
properly answered in The Peoples COM
mbn Sense Medical Adviser, by r. V.
Pierce, NJ. d. 1t contains the knowl-
edge q young man or woman, wife or
daughter, should have. zoos pages
with color plates, bound in cloth. By
mail, prepaid-on receipt Of 8 dimes
or stamps,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
NEW MODERN DANCING.

+. Fletcher Hallamore. the leading Dancing Ex.
pert and Instructor In New York City. writes: Il
have used ALIENS Fo0T-EASE, the antiseptic
powder to be shaken into the shoes. for ten years
and recommend 1t to all my pupils" II cures and
prevents sore feet. Sold by all Drug and Depart.
ment Stores 25c. Sample FREE. Address. Allen
S. olmsted. lie Roy. NY.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Didn't Mean IL That Wax

An old lady who had been intro
duced to doctor, who was professor
in a university, felt somewhat puzzled
as to how she would address the great
man.
Shall I call you doctor or 'profes-
sor'?" she asked.
"Oh! just as you WISH" was the
reply; "as mater of fact, some people
call me an old idiot"
Indeed" she said sweetly. "But,
then, they are people that know you"
-Pittsburg Chronicle.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Stale News.

Railway Attendant Ito man smok-
ing)-You can't smoke.
The Smoker SO my friends say.
Railway Attendant-But you mustn't
smoke.
The Smoker-So my doctor says.
Railway Attendant = Well, you
sha'n't smoke.
The Smoker-So my wife says
Puck.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Called Bet Off.

Miss Elder-I'll bet you hundred
that I'll never marry.
Mr.. Easy-I'll take you.
Miss Elder (rapturously)-Will you,
really? Then l won't bet after ALL
Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
His Yearnino.1

=, "What kind of pie have you got
yur?" inquired Mr.. Gap johnson Of
Rumpus Ridge, Ark, who was lunch
ing in the Palace restaurant at Tum-
linville.
apple, peach, punk'n, razbry,
mince, lemon, apercot, and cekernut
custard!' 'recited the wasp-waisted
waitress with considerable speed.
"All right" further said Mr.. john
son, that's what l want."-Kansas
City Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

Bing-He's very active in financial
matters, isn't he?
Bang-You bet; he owes me $40,
and every time he sees me he lodges
me,-EXchAnge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

Sharp.
Jack-Do you know that Kitty is an
awfully sharp girl?
Percy-Yes, she cut me on the street
the other day.-Cornell Widow.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Slow.

Mrs, Willis-This paper says the
woman died before help could reach
her.
Mrs. Gillis-I don't wonder, II she
depended on the employment agencies
In this town.-Life,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

Cholly-Will you marry me II /
stop smoking cigarets?
Miss Bright-No, Mr.. Sappy; /
couldn't think Of marrying a man who
did nothing--Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

First Man-Can we stay here all
night?
Second Man (helpfully)-We won't
take up much room. l walk in my
sleep.-Panther.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Not 90 Sure.

Sentry Ito McDougal, returning from
wedding festivities) Pass, frind; all's
well.
McDougal-Thank ye, laddie. But ye
dinna ken the guild wife or ye would
ma be so sure.-London Opinion.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Uncertain.

Visitor-What kind of a fellow is
this Judge Bump?
Backwoods Cltizen--He's too durn
uncertain You never can tell In ad-
vance on a law suit Just which side
he Is for.-Judge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Family Pride,

"Are you doing anything to make
your children proud of you?"
81 am" replied Mr.. Bliggins. "All
the young people will tell you l am
the best dancer in the entire neighbor-
hood. d."-Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Shown Up.

"lf you want your wife to continue
to look up to you
"Yes?"
Don't let her get you into a bridge
game. louisville Courier,Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

Use Murine after Exposure In Cold,
Cutting Winds and. Dust. 1t Restores,
Refreshes and Promotes Eye Health.
Good for all Eyes that Need Care.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Sends Eye Book on request
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

"See here, that costume is cu- en-
tirely too low for ball room"
Don't be absurd, mother. This Is a
street costume.".0
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Another Operation Avoided.

Richmond Ind-aFor two years sick and weak from
female troubles that when going up stairs had slowly
with then sit down at the top to rest The
doctor said thought should have operaon and friends
thought would live into house My daughter
asked me to try lydia Pnkham Vegetable Compound she had
taken it with good results did my weakness disappeared
gained strength home all kinds of garden
work and raised hundreds of chickens and ducks say
enough praise Lydia Pnkhams Vegetable Compound
NJ o. JOHNSTON Route D. Box 100, Richmond, Ind
Of course there are many serious cases that only
surgical operation will relieve We freely acknowledge
this but the above letters, and many others like them,
amply prove that many operations recommended when
medicine in many cases is all that is needed
you want special write to Lydia Pinkham Med
cine (condena Lynn Mass Your letter viii be opened.
read and held in strict confidence
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Freedom.

The Boy--I shall be glad when l am
old enough to 40 as I please.
The Man--And about that time you
will 60 off and get married, SO 1t
won't do you much good after all
New York Times.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

"Who stood up for Jack when he
married Miss Flirtleigh2
mo one, Everybody called him q
fool."-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
ParadoxicaI,

"Do you think armed vessels are
likely to be sunk?"
mot If they get the drop first
Baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04
Trustful.

Edith-"Jack told me was so inter.
esting and SO beautiful" Marie-"And
yet you will trust yourself for life
with man who begins deceiving you
SO early."-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-05-04

"He is man of iron"
"He may be, but he is not well
tempered. d."-Baltimor American.