Arizona republican., 1917-07-08
THE PARABLE OF
 E EPLURIBUS UNUM
By S. M. Bonner of the VioiIantes

Now there was a Despot named Og the Hohenzollern Terror And he was six cubits and a span in height and wore coat of mail; and the weight thereof was five hundred shekels of brass. And when he spake his people trembled and the earth quaked, so there was much trembling
 Now it came to pass that Og was seized with the lust to start something. So he cast covetous eyes on the Belg- ties and menaced them And they mur- mured, saying "Lo, Thou has violated thy bond! It is not written that thou shalt preserve our immunity from the scourge of war;"
 And the Despot vawned and gave them the glassy eye saying, Shall my hand be stayed for a Scrap of Paper? Peradventure thou lookest for trouble? Woe unto thee, for I will cast thy cas. cass to the fowls of the air and thou shalt die and not live."
 And 1t was done even as he spake,
 Then came forth the tribes from the north and the south. and the east and the west; and they took counsel one with the other saying. Behold this Despot would smite the world and. verify, it is no cinch that he fails to come across" Therefore they called on their men at arms to stay him; and the men of valor rallied to the colors and came out in battle array and gave bat tie, and the slaughter did surpass all understanding
 And the Despot look on in naughty disdain saying, Take heed lest take a fall out of the whole bunch." And in truth it was no idle boast for the bar harians were cuckoos when it came to a miX-up. hn rt-c 1 the Great Waters and at Peace: and they lusted not for war neither for the | shedding of blood They worked in their | vineyards and fed on fine meal and | honey so that they waxed fat and warm under the belt And it came to pass | that they strayed too near the danger zone; and things began to come their | way and smOte them. And they called out unto Woodrow the Prophet saying, | To! We have been smitten by the l Earbarians!''
 | And Woodrow warned Og saying, Try ye not to start something with 1 us,"
 But Og gave him the gIassy eye and put more of the Chosen People to the | edge of the Sword. Then it came to pass that Woodrow the Prophet lifted | up his voice and called alond saying:
 "Lol We have to hand it to thee for pure Gall, Behold thou rnenacest us and our wives and children! Where 1 dost thou ret that stuff?'
 Then Og called unto his high priest saving "Von Bethmann Hollweg.' ] which being interpreted meaneth. Get me wise to these birds, Have they got the stuff to make good?" And the high | nriest shrugged his shoulders saying "Oh, those mushy Yankees! Not husky | enough to fight and too fat to run!" Now that was a raw line of talk; SC the Prophet saying:
 Just for that we will get thee!' Then he called together the Elders o
 the people and took Counsel with them saving, Shall I preach the Gospel oi
 Peace till he has us on the run? Be
 hold, I will side-track the bunk ant play it across the board! I have spok- enl''
 And he sounded the Alarum. And the
 Chosen People rallied to the Colors And .loi they were a husky bunch O
 Pippins who. peradventure. might ge
 the goat of Og. And against the sky
 line it could be seen where Og wa:
 perchance to get off. And it was well.
 Now there were a few among thu
 Chosen People who had the yellow
 streak. There were the Quittites an'
 the Facilities and the Cravenites ant
 the Knockites and the Tightwadicites