Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1917-11-30
FRIDAY, NOV. 80, 1917.
SATAN ABDICATEs IN FAVOR OF KAISER

THE following satire written by Louis Syber-
krop, and reprinted from the '1ndependent"
of Delta Colorado is going the rounds of the press
and is deemed worthy of production in The Rec
ord
The Internal Region, October 20, 1917.
To Wilhelm Hohenzollern, King of Prussia Emperor
of All Germany and Envoy Extraordinary of Almighty
My Dear Wilhelm
can call you by that familiar name for have al
been very close to much closer than could
know
From the time that you yet undeveloped be-
ing have shaped your destiny for my own purpose
In the days of Rome created a roughneck known in
history Nero he vulgar character and suited my
purpose that particular time. In these modern days
a classic demon and efficient supernatural needed
and know the HohenzolIern blood picked you my
special instrument to place earth and annex hell.
gave you abnormal ambition, likewise oversuppy of
egotsm that you might not discover your faings
/ twisted your mind to that Of mailman with certain
normal tendencies TO carry you by, a dangerous
character placed in power; gave you the power Of
hypnotist and certain magnetic force that you might
sway your people responsible for the deformed arm
that hangs helpless at your left for your crippled
dton embitters your life and destroys all noble impulses
that might otherwise anxiety but your strong
sword arm is driven by ambitions that squech sentiment
and pity placed in your soul deep hatred of all things
English for of all nations Earth hate English most
wherever England plants her flag she brings order of
chaos and the hated Cross follows the Unionjack under
her rule wild tribes become ers of the soil and in due
time practical citizens; she is the great cvizor of the
globe and hate her planted in your soul cruel hatred
of your mother because she English and left good
friend Bismark to fan the flame had kindled Recent
history proved how well work done. 1t broke
your royal mothers heart, but | gained my purpose.
The inherited disease of the Hohenzolerns killed your
father just it will kill YOU and you became the ruler
of Germany and tool of mine than / expected
To assist you and further hasten my work | sent you
three evil sprtsNietzsche, Tdetschke and ater Bern
hard whose teachings inamed the youths OF Germany
who in good time would be willing spill their blood and
pull your chesnuts yours and mne the spell has been
perfectyou cast your ambitious eyes toward the Med
terranean Egypt India and the Dardenee and you began
your railway to Bagdad but the ambitious archduke
and his ambitious wife stood in your way. 1t
then that sowed the seed your heart that bossomed
into the assassination of the duke and his wife, and all
hell smiled when saw how cevery saddled the crime
unto Serbia you set sail for the ford of Norway
and knew you would prove abi How cleverly DONE
much like your noble grandfather who also secured
assassin to old King Frederick of Denmark and
later robbed that country of two provinces which gave
Germany opportunity become naval power. Muir
der is dirty work, but it takes Hohenzollem to make
way and get by with it.
Your opportunity at hand; you set the world on
fire and the bells Of he'll ringing; your attack on
Belgium caused much joy it the beginning the
daton of perfect hell EARTH the destruction of noble
cahedras and other infinite works Of art was hailed with
joy in the Internal Regions You made friends
and foe alike and the murder of civilians showed my
ngs had borne fruit Your treachery towards neutral
nations FASTENED a universal upheava the thing most
desired Your undersea warfare is master stroke from
the smallest mackera boat to the Iucitana You show
no favorites; lord you stand supreme for you
have mercy; you have consideration for the baby
cngng to its mothers breast they both go down the
deep together only be torn apart and esurcy devoured
by the sharke down among the corals
l have stroed the battlefelds of Belgium and
France have your hand destruction everywhere;
it's all your work. super-fend that made you. l have
the fields Of Poland, a wilderness fit for the
proving beasts only merry children in Poland now,
they all succumbed TO frost and starvation drfted down
into Galaca where formerly Jews and Genties lived hap
lily together. found ruins and ashes felt a curious
pride in my pupil for it all above my expectation
was in Belgium when you drove the peaceful population
before you like cattle into slavery you separated man