The Washington herald., 1917-08-28
aHg Good Morning, Judge"
NV Human Interest Stories of By
NJ Police Court Happenings. PERKINS
BY
RUDOLPH
PERKINS

started. What John said looked some-
thing like this -?:xxxx&--"????
AS%c. '''ia''''. When they locked
him up John informed them that he
wouldn't claim exemption. The court
fined him SIS with no exemptions.
Ernest Was Too Polite.
"Jedge, All wuz heppin an ole wo-
man Ill a sugar barrel with wood
down by de feesh warf and dis yere
watchman tole me to beat It, en- he
hit hissef wild a stick" said Ernest
Bauman arraigned for assaulting
Isaac Stanford. whose business is to
see that no one steals the new fish
market. Isaac tried several times to
Keep Ernest away from the market
lest a fish kick him or something
like that, but Earnest's head was so
hard he just couldn't do it.
Saturday night he got supicious of
Ernest and the old woman with the
barrel and ordered them of the pre-
misses. Earnest landed on his head
with stick and Jared his brains.
Isaac called a cop and Ernest was es-
corted TO the lookup. The court sent
him down and IL he behaves himself
he may be out next Christmas.
Stewart Was "Stewed."
Stewart Truxton was in the hands
of a policeman on Twenty-first street
Sunday afternoon and as he was be-
ing carried to the box he swung out
and nit Michael Curtis, a bystander,
in the nose, almost taking Michears
nose away. OF course Micheal hadn't
done anything to Stewart.
The trouble was that Stewart had
drunk some gin, the kind that usually
makes him fight his grandmother, but
grandma was not in sight and he
just had to hit someone. The cop had
tight hold on him, therefore he
was safe. But Micheal, got Just what
we said he got When Stewart takes
the train from Occoquan this town
will be numbered among the North
American deserts.
Bill Is Safe Now.
Bill Kelly, an old colored man. has
been bothered for some time by a
bunch of hoodlums in southwest
Washington, until he is almost d
nervous wreck. He hasn't been able to
AFFORD a disguise. so to escape
harassing. Sunday afternoon, when he
passed Sixth AMI streets a bunch set
on him and Bill was forced to do
something drastic this time. One OF
the boys got thrashed good and the
others beat IT.
The fellow that was thrashed had
Bill arrested and told the court that
Bill hit him with a brick. That was
out Of the question as Bill has hardly
the strength to lift a brick. Then he
said Bill cut him. but Bill didn't even
own a knife. The court believed Bilrs
side of 1t and let him go.
George, He Did IL.
over on Q street Saturday night
some pepole saw what they thought
was a dead man lying in a wheel
barrow. They sent for a cop to in
vestigate what they thought was a
terrible crime. The cop discovered
George Hawkins curled up in the
vehicle. drunk as a boiled owl. George
had such a load that he thought he
had better put some of it in the
wheelbarrow and let 1t help carry
some.
He Topped in, but the thing had no
engine and would not run. "Drat this
ottermoblle. said George, some
fellow musta stole nah clutch or else
1t must have a short circuit in the
carbureter"
He had had just about three winks
of sleep when the cop came up. turned
the wheelbarrow over and he woke up
on the hard asphalt. 1t turned out
that George had one of those ultra
expensive maps, at SO each.