davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun., 1917-09-30
AUNT IN THE LAND OF THE RED INK TABLES DF1OT1

The gourmet performs strange rite
over the salad. It takes full fftee;
minutes and as many ingredients 70
him to whip the cheese into shape fo
actual consumption. He must havc
his coffee in a glass. with brandy o
the top and a confiagration. 1t mus
be a certain kind Of brandy and a Ger
tain kind of confiagration. else tn
whole thing Is thrown in the discar,
and the performance started all ovei
again.
He takes his ink plain. He will tel
you that only barbarians put Ice ant
sugar In their wine. be II ever *
humble.
Gastrononsic Critics.
Then We have the table d'hotc shop.
per. This type tackles each dish as II
comes along and keeps up running
comment something like this:
I'VE have pimentoes too at Ga
voni's. The soup is better than on
Tenth street. ! prefer Lalwha's wine.
Remember that devilled crab at Eu.
genes? Peter has the best chicken
in town. This salad beats Gagliami's.
Nothing but apples and coffee? Why.
at Pagliachi's we have dessert and
three kinds Of cheese. I'll never come
here again. hear there u q new
place on Thirty-eighth street,
And this sort Of thing goes on in
definitely. night after night, week az
ter week. month after month. A
woman shopping for bargain in hats
Is reasonable in comparison with the
table d'hote hunter.
Have you ever heard this before?
II know a bear Of q place to eat. II
you like odd places. The food is great
too. I don't SEQ how they do 1t on so
cents. It's beyond me. Caruso goes
there every night for spaghetti. He
says It's the only place in town he
can get the real stun. They tell me
you can see him over there most any
night after the opera"
II all the places to which Caruso
goes to eat his nocturnal spaghetti
were punched they would make q fair
sized village. Poor Caruso! He could
not cover the ground. not even II he is
the champion spaghettist Of the world.
In most Of the cases he IL accused
falsely. His willy fellow countrymen
use his name for press agent purposes
without as much as mailing him .
free card to the spaghet;i orchard.
! Perhaps all this talk Of food has
whetted your appetite. 1t may be that
you too have decided to tackle the tur-
bulent table d'hote. You might b
hearkening to the siren song of the
spaghet', the clamorous call Of the
chicken la Franchise, tho gleeful
gurgle of the ink.
You have? Very we'll. then: let
your prayer be, Give us but strength
and space" And. by the way. hasn't
something been said about the con.
'servation Of food7
The sun., 1917-09-30

the price easy. Abe took Ave thou
sand" H...
surreptitiously men slip out their
cuffs and make notes. Tomorrow
morning early they will risk those
three beans they were going to
squander for fall kelly on Bunko B.
II there are ten horses Bunko will
pull in under the wire a bad tenth.
How are the innocent patrons to know
the man with the canary diamond and
the man in the blue sack suit are
touts whose business it is to bait
suckers with fake nosebag news?
Proud beauties OF the chorus are
there. When they dine with the Johns
nothing less than the Crystal Room
The sun., 1917-09-30
Worthy Ambition of Iowa Man Fos
tered by His Poverty Stricken Pal

stopped short In his tracks. Stumpy
stopped also. not because he had any
intention Of so doing. SO far as ap-
pearanccs indicated, but because his
arm was interlocked with Long Mikes
and he was unable to lug the latter's
huge bulk along with him. He seemed,
however. to be irked by the stop.
"Cm ahn wild yez," he said thickly
and impatiently. Sure, there's no
sinse in dela-ayin tn procadin's. Yon's
tn house"
But Long Mike would not for the
moment come on. He refused to bulge.
and grasping Stumpy firmly by the
arm he locked at him with owlish
gravity for time. Strong emotion
was pent In his gaze, and presently he
opened his mouth and lifting up his
voice gave vent to ito tie emotion,
that is.
The narration of this tale would be
inartistic and incomplete without a
description of his vocal effort. albeit
the English language is Ill supplied
with words adequate to convey a clear
idea 'of 1t. 1t may he said. however,
that lie emitted a truly wonderful and
awe inspiring volume Of sound. So
vast was 1t that mere human effort
seemed incapable Of producing it.
1t was monstrous. raucous roar,
but 1t was much more than that. II
was thunderous, but that is a weak
word. 1t was stentorophonic. stunning.
1t shattered the atmosphere and shook
tie levee they stood on.
Rising to the sky It reverberated
The sun., 1917-09-30

Some Of them no doubt are ordinary.
Whers are not SO ordinary. Still
others no more deserve to be called
ordinary than a bulldog deserves to be
called Fido or ten thousand dollar a
year apartment deserves to be called
q nat. They are to the average eater
Wondering around in the bog of war
Prices what plate Of clam chowder
10 man who has been tossing on
me irackless waste of the ocean for
seven days with nothing between him
md starvation but a waterlogged soda
&cuit
The origin of the table d'hote re-
mains mystery. A considerable pro-
portion OF the Big Towns population
which came to the city from the West
and middle West looking for conquest
believes 1t wore its swaddling clothes
ack on the farm where the hired girl
: hainned everything on the table be-
'ore she called in the family and then
SAT down with them herself to enjoy
me fruits of her labor.
Those were the happy days! Ger
"lhly the table d'hote can claim no
worthicr parentage. Four whopping
usheS Of vegetables, with no limit on
me comeback. You did not care for
carrots? All right, lima beans. Nothing
ooing on the Emas? How about q
couple Of ears OF com? No corn!
wei then, flock of cabbage. You
nke them all? Good! Go to It. and
space be with you.
travelling salesmen who have sur
'"ed years of one night stands out
10 the Big Sticks will tell you the
ao!H dhote had its origin In small
Town hotels.
It's as plain as the proboscis on
sour pan.' declares one who trekked
oe'ween Cincinnati and st. Louis and
aseo to tell the tale. Have you ever
down In the dining room Of the
NAs'or Hotel. Mingo Junction, NO.,
'er you had broken the Ice In the
1ater pitcher In your room to gst
s.ur morning plunge, and had . local
ent waitress with ambitions 70 look
the magazine pictures Of Theda
ra hand you tho bad news about
,treakfast?
The sun., 1917-09-30
kE'S PLAN TO LICK JOE BASSETT

they ceased smoking and started for
tho door.
II reckon tie day O. Judgment must
a done come ahead O. time" said old
man Greenlaw as he. grabbed up his
bungstarter and headed the procession.
"They couldn't nothin' but Gabr'ers
trumpet make no sich disturbance 8
that"
"Oh. l don't know said Mr.. Pepper.
"Mebbe some boat is done busted her
bIler."
BOAT nothin'," said Sam Pearsall
contemptuously. IAN hell's busted. If
I'm any Judge
Arrived outdoors ttey looked at the
two travellers in great amaZement.
seeing nothing else that could be sup
posed to have made the commotion.
On his part Long Mike glared back at
them defiantly, but Stumpy affected
perfect composure.
Him the old man ignored. seeing
instantly that by no miracle could so
small man make so large a noise.
Addressing Long Mike he said:
did yo' all speak,"
HE did not" said Stumpy rather
Indignantly. "He coughed. Sure he
was clarin' his throat, preparatory to
takin' DRINK av yez has it in the
place"
"Sho' have" said the old man
promptly, but To- Gawds sake don't
let him sneeze inside" And turning
back he led the way into his saloon.
They all followed and being inside
Stumpy waved his land in lordly
fashion. saying:
"Wi!l yez ahl DRINK wild me?'
"Oh, I don't know" murmured Mr.
Pepper. but it Immediately appeared
that he did know, for he Joined the
party IN front of the bar and poured
his liquor out and down without
further words.
Several successive rounds were
ordered after this by one and another
OF the party. rather tentatively as /,
seemed. the purpose being to establish
an understanding Of the motive of the
two travellers in stopping Off the boa
at such Godforsaken place AT
Arkansas City. Neither OF them ap,
peared to be In any haste to explain
their errand, and direct questioning il
not esteemed courteous In that par
Of the country. 1t was thought tha
under the mellowing influence o.
liquor they might loosen up.
So far as Long Mike was cunccrnc,
they might as well have poured waite
, from pitcher into the Mississippi
The sun., 1917-09-30

] wudn't miss s. Gin tn ), shindig for a
years wages Av l lose I'll borry
off'n yez'
This he said without full! knowledge
of the odds against which he would
have to play should he sit in at the
Arkansas City game. for Stumpy,
though a good reliable player with oc-
casional Inspirations and any amount
Of nerve, was no professional, while
the Arkansas City players-but of thu
more anon.
Sure that big hellyon they do call
the Sheriff is wan foine oopsthandin'
foighter," he continued. warming UP
to the subject, but | misdoubt av he
foights fair. Thin haythen down the
river carries goons an some o. thin
knoifes. Yez moight hex him wild yer
bare fishts, l dunnoa, Dut yez musht
bewar-re av goons.
There's wan thing more" he went
on. being truly solicitous Of his
friends prowess, "Yez do foight well
ahl tonnes, but not SO well sober as
whin yez has the glory O. dhrink in
yer sowl. Whin yez is lit up good an
proper yez is wan holy terror, but
sober l misdoubt the Sheriff cud lick
yez.''
This was by way of a gentle FLIP to
excite more zeal on Long Mikes part
but 1t was not needed. That gentle
man, having resolved to undertake 1t
was now hell bent on the enterprise
and scornful of warnings. though ne
was ready enough to follow Stumpy's
advice as to ;he use Of stimulants.
There much more parley be.
tween On the journey down the
river. bu. ,lal hint was kept in mind
so that when the two arrived in Ar
kansas City Long Mike was. as Stumpy
had expressed it. lit up good ant
proper, and an impartial observer
would probably have decided tha
Stumpy himself had at least made ar
effort to keep his end up. The glor,
of drink shone forth In their mien
though their gait was little affected
The charm Of novelty was lacking II
their condition.
It wasn't much more than a stone,
throw from the boat landing to ole
man Greenlaw's suloon, and the tw,
had traversed approximately one hal
! Of that distance when Long Mike
The sun., 1917-09-30

River in the hope Of overflowlng the
levees along the shores Of that mighty
stream. but Stumpy was different not
as to his quality as dn imbiber but as
to his size. Just naturally he filed up
quicker. What was a matter Of weeks
with Long Mike was matter OF days
with him. and the two had been travel
ling several days.
Moreover he was impatient and i'm
petuouk in temperament, and being
mindful of the serious inroats he was
making on his Wad he proposed, after
n few hours, that they all play poker.
Sure I'd be afther winnin' me faare
back home aforc | spind ahl lave"
he said ingenuously. but to the dis
gust of most of the party Long
Mike interposed an objection.
He was not given to the use OF
words overmuch. preferring action to
conversation at all times. but his habit
was to speak forcbly when he spoke.
and he spoke now.
ITO hell wild poker for the prisent."
he said. i've more IMPORTANT mat
theirs on me moind nor jooglin wid
cyards."
9TH amt notrin mo- mpo'tant n
poker said old man Greenlaw indig-
nantly. He never tolerated heresy.
There is said Long Mike calmly
and deliberately. II KEN here for
foight an foight I'll have" And he
turned toward Bassett inquirngly.
Mr. Bassetts eyes glittered with
great Joy. but he also was sometimes
slow Of speech, and before he could re-
spond to the invitation TIE old man
spoke up again.
I'VE strive to please, Ms 'he Good
Book says" he observed l..stily, IAN
II yo' all is d'sirous Of rough house
yo' sho' Is gwine to be 'commodated.
But they didn't ought TO to be no reel
fight thouten they's somcpin' to fight
about, an they is mo- op'nin's 70
strife into a game o. draw n they is
anywheres else.
"Mo'n that" he continued earnestly.
business d ought fo' to come afo'
pleasure arays. Alter yo' all is done
lose yo' wad II he plenty time enough
fo' yo' to sit licked. an they'll be Il
heap mo- satisfaction into It,"
lis tEot SOAP" responded Long Mike
with scorn. "Well, yez'n nalther VIA
me wad nor lick me. Oi'll thry CON
! clusions wild yez.'
Even BasSett raised no object .un> tn
thiS, and Il game was started forthw
IN tho back room What aapn rr.,
soon aIttr forms u >tui! Of il.".i
The sun., 1917-09-30

Grand street business and some are
Broadway buccaneers.
At one table the talk will he Of
stocks and bonds. at another coats
and suits. ut another tea and tango.
Sylvia Strong will call across to tell
Bella Bingle she has signed for leads
with Poll for WORCESTER, Mass. The
man with the canary diamond stops
the fellow in the blue sack suit to ask
how he made out on the ponies up at
the track to-day.
II got hot one on Bunko b. for
Tomorrow" he mutters in low voice
he trusts every one will hear. Stable
stuff. Came from the jockey straight.
Don't tell any one. We wsnta keep
The sun., 1917-09-30

for what seems hours. You are shooed
away from basement doorsteps by
irate janitors who have no mind to
listen to explanations. Policemen on
corners have no idea what you are
raving about or where 1t Is. Maybe.
II your luck is running good. you
stumble upon Georges tip.
Back through a dim hallway. Along
a sawdust trail leading directly past
where Antonio is rustling the ravioli
Into a charming little walled In and
rooted over gardAn with swinging
baskets Of vines and flowers. a canary
who insists on earning his bed and
board, daring examples Of Greenwich
Village art left in lieu of the 60 cents
madame charges for the evening meal
The place Is full Of folks and frolic
From the outside you would suspect
the basement of being tenanted en-
tirely by Wtiskers the cat, In silent
search of his ancient quarry, the
mouse.
Bout begins.
You spar for few minutes with a
brace Of doomed sardines assisted by
SnaCkS OF ktlCeO tOri1htOcs, soiuNiis
picked peppers and the outer stalks
of celery. Table d'hote celery never
has any heart. By this time the
waiter deposits on your table the bet
ter part of full grown loaf OF bread.
You wonder why. instead Of serving
the whole room at once, ne does not
nut tho bread for your table on q sep
arate plate.
Comes the wine, In two pint bottles
innocent Of label or otner means Of
Identification. Perhaps 1t Is all for the
best. II we knew the inner secrets Of
the bottle our systems might never
mako the grade. Anyhow It 10 wet
wine and Il has . kick. with the
country getting dryer every day II 10
no time 10 bicker over . little thing
like vintages. II you care for sweet
wine six Jumps Of sugar will turn tho
trick.
goup. A bathtubfui Of H. IAdis out
your own portion and never mind the
sxpense It's on the house.
! Spaghetti. Spaghetti with or with
The sun., 1917-09-30
Dy JANE DIXON.

,.r UELLO. hon. This you. hon
~ You sound dirrent over the
L wire. Listen, hon. got
nprise for YOU. Ch-huh. surprise
I'm gonna take you out to dinner to.
night hon. Yes, yam. Oh, I've found
a swell place. How did I find It? !
rent herewith some Of the fellahs.
40 honest. there wasn't, hon. Only
hoys cross my heart. You know me,
hon Honest. this is the SWEETEST place
vet. You can eat two hours. hon, for
10 cents. with wine. Sure they's
spaghet'. Listen. hon.
what "hon" was called upon to
listen to this time remains In the
Great Unknown. Have you ever
waited outside the only public tele-
pLone booth within ten blocks to de-
liver an important message while
some sociable nickel shooter patters
into the box? II you have met this
,ype of Tantalus, you win know what
I wanted to say to hon"
And vet, in way, hon" deaerves
nothing but sympathy. Evidently she
is of that vast army OF consumers who
70 about shopping for strange tables
dhote. II hon has been moderately
successful she can bank on ordering
her Wristbands two sizes larger next
season. What is more, her sylphlike
fsure will be a memory. Should
|. hon" keep at it long enough the only
bace she will he able to qualify as a
Ieart smasher will be somewhere in
turkey, where everybody loves a fat
rrl and the desirability of q woman
Il entirely a matter Of avoirdupois.
What would the Big Town do with
out its tables d'hote? How could II
struggle along without its French and
Italian founts Of food and red ink
Consider the poor prowler without the
price Of a kitchenette in his pocket.
What would become OF him II he were
eeprived the privilege Of dropping In
1t his favorite spaghetti parlor and
laying in supplies for the week?
There are plenty OF places where
he can eat a la carte" you say.
True enough. But have you studied
the la carte lists lately? Give them
the up and down. brother. Only mag
patee and millionaires are able to elk ,
but an a la carte existence these days.
Table d'Hote to Rescue.
The common or garden variety of
citizen would grow as thin on the la
nrte plan as the string on a string
kaop ie v,acoibln a train nnncn1f
The Washington herald., 1917-03-10

the subject OF a public lecture to be given
tomorrow afternoon in the new Masonic
Temple Auditorium, Thirteenth street and
New York avenue. Following the leo
ture the speaker will be willing to an
swer questions from the audience. The
lecture will be given without charge and
no collection will be taken.
At the Vermont Avenue Christian
Church, the pastor. the Rev. Earle VIII
fiey, will speak on '"The Gospel in Ap-
plication' tomorrow morning. Motion
pictures of the famous Bible story From
Manger to Cross" will be shown in the
evening at o'clock
Dr.. J. Henning Nelms, OF the Church of
the Ascension, who has been seriously Ill
for two weeks, has now recovered suf-
ficiently to resume his church duties He
Will conduct the usual morning and even
ing services tomorrow, and in the even
ing. will. after the special mission serv-
Ice. tell the Romance of Isaac and Re-
becca-"
The Washington herald., 1917-03-10
GIVE BISHOPS MITER
To MONSIGNOR RUSSELL
Local Pastor to Be Consecrsted Thurs
day in Baltimore.

Right Rev. Mgr. Russell. for the past
nine years pastor Of st. Patricks Church.
Washington, viii be consecrated bishop
in the Cathedral Of Baltimore next Thurs
day morning at 1870 O'Clock.
His Eminence, Cardinal Gibbons, viii
be consecrator. He will be assisted by
Right Rev. ]. J. Monaghan, ID. D.. Bishop
OF Wilmington. and Right Rev. Owen B.
Corrigan, auxiliary Bishop of Baltimore.
The deacons OF honor to his emlnence
will be the Very Rev. p. l. Duffy, admin
fstrator Of the diocese OF Charleston, and
the Rev. Thomas ]. Hegarty, rector of
st. Peters Church. Columbia. S. G. The
deacon Of the mass will be the Rev. A
K. Gwynne, OF GreenviIIe, s. C.. and the
Rev. Francis J. Lamb. S. J., Of st.
Joseph's Church, Philadelphia
The chaplains to Bishop Russell will be
Rev. Joseph V. Tracy, D. d. of St Co
lumbkilTs Church, Boston, and the Rev.
Church, Washington; the chaplains to
Bishon Monaghan, Rev. ]. NJ Mona
mara and Rev. ]. A Smyth, both Of st.
Patrick's Church, Washington; the chap
lains to Bishop Corrigan, Rev. Francis p.
Doory. Of st. Martins Church, Baltimore,
and the Rev. ]. ]. Murray, OF st. Eliza
beth's Church. Baltimore.
Tne nrst master OF ceremonies Will oe
the Rev. w. Carroll Milholland. OF St
Marys Seminary. Baltimore; the master
Of ceremonies to the Cardinal. Rev. Louis
O'Donovan. Of the Cathedral. and the
master Of ceremonies to Bishop Russell
Rev. NJ. p. J. Egan, OF St Patrick's
Church, Washington; the censer-beareri
Mr.. John J. Russell. Of st. Charles' Col
lege, Catonsvflle; acolytes, Mr.. Elmer T.
Fisher and Mr.. Jerome Sebastian. stu
dents at st. Mary's Seminary, from St
Patricks parish
The other minor ministers of the mass
will be the students for the priesthood
from st. Patrick's parish, and from
Charleston.
The sermon at the conservation will be
delivered by the Right Rev. p. J. Dona-
hue, Bishop Of Wheeling. There will be
present in the sanctuary at large number
Of the hierarchy and several hundred
priests Among those who will go from
Washington to attend the ceremony Will
be members Of the Cabinet and Of the
Supreme Court, of the Senate and House
of Representatives, and OF the diplomatic
corps.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-10
Wide RANGE OF TOPICS
in SERMONS TOMORROW
Subjects Run from 'Immortalisy- 10
Keeping Up.with Jones."

With the hundreds Of Inaugural visitors
throughout the city. churches. In some
cases. have been placed more or less in
the background. However, che washins-
ton clergymen have been Just ss busy as
ever. and tomorrow those Who turn
churchward viii be stimulated.
The Deepening Crimson Sea- "A
Movement for the Restoration" !" '1mmor-
taIity," "A Man with the Set Fsce-
Follow Me-" ''Scriptursl Prophecy and
War, or Ii the Bible Antasouistio %
War;" The Angel in Disguise." ''Kssp-
ing Up with the JoneT." The Victory
over Practical Inndelity-Joaah" "A
Light from Heaven" The New Btrth
of Europe" are Just q few Of the inte-
esting ana varied subjects chosen BY q
pastors Of the Washington churches &c
tomorrow's sermons.
Thou wit Keep Him In Perte
Peace" by SPEAKS; The Ornntpoesnos
by Franz Schubert: ''keditatio1 Re-
ngieuse," organ prelude BY Gottschalk:
whose Dwelleth." anthem BY Martin
and organ postlude. allegro. by Borovsd
II . representative selection Of ths uuE-
cal numbers which will be rendered oy
choirs Of the different churches
The Washington herald., 1917-03-10

"Moses-the Secrets Of Moral Leader
ship" supplemented by q pulpit editorial
on living current issue Of great
RELIGIOUS movement At the morning
service the theme will be 'The Deepen
ing Crimson Sea-" and the sacrament OF
the Lords Supper viii be administereo.
The four hundredth anniversary Of
the Reformation Is being celebrated by
DR.. Geo. A. Miller. pastor Of the Ninth
Street Christian Church, with q series
Of Sunday night sermons. "A Movement
for Restoration" Results Of the Res
toration." and "The Great Final Restora-
tion." are the subjects for the three
remaining sermons Of the series. to be
preached tomorrow March Is and Is,
respectively.
DR.. James Shera Montgomery win de-
liver sermon tomorrow morning at the
Calvary Methodist Church on '"The
Angel In Disguise" In the evening al
8 o'clock DR.. Montgomery will conduct
peoples services and deliver most
practical and applicable address on
keeping Up With the Jones'"
At the morning service of All Souls
Church. tomorrow. Mr.. Charles Trow-
bridge Tittmann will sing Thou Wilt
Keep Him in Perfect Peace" from Speaks
and schubert's THE Omnipotence." This
latter. 1t is said, Is regarded by John
Mccormack as the greatest song ever
written.
The Liberal Religious Union Of All
Souls Church will be addressed tomor-
row evening at s o'clock by Mr.
Chauncey c. Williams. who will speak
on Shakespeare and His Town" The
address will be illustrated.
Foundry M. e. Epworth League will
have for the speaker at the devotional
service tomorrow evening at e:b O'Clock
Mr.. Edward 8. Brashears. former nrs'
vice president of the Washington Dis
trfct Epworth League. whose subject VII
be citizenship" The special musfcal
numbers will include q selection BY the
choir Of sixty voices under the leader
ship Of J. H. Galleher, and a duet by
Messrs. Clarence p. Lewis and g. Ray
Stuntz. Solos win be rendered by Miss
Helen Edgar and Mr.. Charles w. Moore.
A reproduction Of THE New Minister
will be presented by fifty young people
Of the league on Wednesday evening.
March H. in the Sunday school room OF
the church.
On the evening Of March "a, under the
direction Of Miss Lillian Helgesen, vice
president Of the missionary department
a "'Mu- So fest" will be held in the
church parlors.
Immortality" from the point of view
Of what Swedenborg has written will be
The Washington herald., 1917-03-10
sPIRITUALHM.
The First Spnitualist Church
sfHH PATH 10 PowER..

LscEms b. the pastor, Alfred n. Terry. Sunday
q ,. m. followed b. spfrit messages. at Pythian
r.npis. lm7 IA u zw- sscunA feoe An vol