davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18

robes on the soft grass an Crafty
opened up fresh box NV seegars an
we sot down on the laprobes.
"Now the recon 1 wanted to cum
up here-up here away from the pryin'
eye an listen year NV the mob" sed
Crafty. iz that want to talk to you
planely an freely on this subjeck-the
subjeck that IL nearest my hart-an'
don't want emmy eve e-droppin' a-goin'
on while I'm doin' it." he koncluded.
tole him 'preciated hiz konfidence
an the honor bestowed upon me. Then
we both lit seegars (Pm afraid I never
will be able to git back to my barn
yard meershun an hill side navy, e9
associate with Crafty much more), am
he started in.
'.Now I want to tell you sum nv the
detales," he began, tallkin' sorter log,
list al ef he thot the trees mite have
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18
FOOL N. D. FARMERS
AND WHAT THEY DID
Crafty bit me off short.

- crafty DIT me OF short.
"Shore. thay have, shore thay have.-
he, sed, hiz. ize snappin' an hiz teeth
cliclSin'. "An' look what thay've dun
fur the biznessmen Nv Neuorleans-the
warehousemen NV Neuorleans-put 'em
outen bizness, that's what thay've dun
put em outen bizness. An that aint
right Mr.. Head, il it? It aint right to
stiffle successful private enterprise like
that, an you know it amt"
seen thar wuz no use to argufy with
Crafty on that pint an I konfessed that
I didn't know much about it an that
spozed he wuz rite.
Shore I'm rite, shore I'm rite" he
went on. "An' so what did them fool
North Dakota farmers do-what do you
spoze. repeet, thay did do7 Why.
this IL what thay dun,"s he sed ansur-
ing hiz own question, 'sthay cum down
to Bizmarck-that's the stait capital
thay cum down to Bizmarck. in 1914
the winter Wv 1914-15, 1t wuz, an asst
the legislature-ast the legislature,
mind you. to pass a law providen for q
stait terminal Now think uy that, will
you! Think NV bunch Nv farmers
farmers, clod choppers, country rubes
an sich like-cumin' an astin' a digni-
fed body like that to compromise tho
stait by launchin' it into bizness in
competition with the respectable biz
nessmen that's bin runin' that kind NV
bizness so successfully fur all theze
years. tell you its outrage. a insult
to bizness integrity. sagasity an'-an'
"a detriment to private enterprise.
well, what do you think our fellers
II mean the legislature-toled 'em?
Toled 'em jist this-toled 'em in plane
Inglish, toled 'em without mincin' mat
ters-toled 'em TO GO STRATE
HOME AM SLOP THUR HOGS, an
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18
Tin I1izzies Make
Crafty Nervous
By T. B. RIPP, the Reporter
By I. B. RIPP, the Reporter

ears. IT want to tell you-not only
tell you,> but show you what a bunch NV
presumtive damphools them North Da-
kota farmers IL. 1t wuz back in 49,
1912, think, that they got it into thur.
heds that they wanted the stait-the
stait, mind you-to bid sum terminal
elevators to store thur wheat in" ]!
"Yes, thay've got sum that wuz bilt
by the stait down in Neuorleans," sed.
innocently, Ito store thur cotton in
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18

that thay-had cum down thar to
matk the laws an that we'd-tha<
thay'd maik 'em to suite our-to suite
thurselves.
AN wood you believe 1t, Mr.. Head
wood you believe 1t, them fool farmers
got hot got riled, got madder 'en wet
hensf Thay went home an spoze
thay stopped thur hogs-an' not only
did thay slop thur hogs but thay went
to wurk an put hog stopper in the
governors cheer-a hog g-slopper. mind
you-nuthin' but regular hog-slop-
peri"
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18

hV me an Crafty left the rest
your-aunt, which I tole you
9SMSS9AI about in my last lettur, an
had started down toward my
roomin' house an he had started over
towards the Elk Horn hotel, an while
i wuz a-wallSing along with my he'd
down an my thoughts absorbed in deep
meditashun-all NV suden, sumone
slapped me on the shoulder an looked
around, an 10! an behold!s thar wuz
Crafty agin. He wuz pantin' to. beet
/! a; win broken boss alta county fair. .
/ "Say. Mr.. Head" he painted, II jist
happen to think-I jst happen to think
/ that maybe you'd like to take trip
up in the mountain tomorrow-an'-an;
EFF you do, why I'll take you along."-
."By heck, Mr.. Crafty" sez I. "Tve list
cum down outen the mountains-a two
days and one mites trip-an'. I'm stiff
az a Tom cat after howlin' all mite on
a naber's back fence an" -
'That won't maik emmy difference
he said. 'rll take an auto an we'll go
to sum quiet canon, take along nice
! lunch, spend half a day, jist layin'
in the shade a-talkin' and takin' It
easy"
studied minnit an then tole him
I'd do it. He tole me to meet him at
the Elk Horn at nine a. m. the next.
mornin' in the forenoon. an agreed.
and we shuck hans agin, warmly, and
! parted fur the mite.
CRAFTY EXPLAINS
REASON FOR TRIP
Next mornin' at nine o'clock, wuz
on the dot an so wuz Crafty. He had
big six-sylinder Crackerjack car, an
I noticed with much satisfackshun that
thar wuz a large box NV grub layin'
back wv the sect. We got in an drove
out Wv Colorado Springs, thru Colorado
City, thru Manitou. past the soda
springs. past the iron springs, up thru
Ute pass, up by Rainbow falls, then
turned suddenly to the right an tuck
up a little narrow cannon whur thar
hadden't bin much travel. We went up
this cannon about three miles when we
cum to a little level spot whur the
aspen trees wuz thick an the tiger
lilly's an columbines wuz scattered
promiscously thru the moss an ferns.
He drove the car up onto little level
spot and stopped.
We got out, spread down sum lap
The nonpartisan leader., 1917-10-18
WHAT FARMERS DID
WITH TIN LIZZlES

looked pained at this disclosure am
Crafty re-ht hiz ded seegar while hin
ham trimbled nervously an drops w
presperashun piowed down hiz sloptn
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

like theirs and diamonds like they
wore. SO she took her savings, $1,000.
and left for New York, where her
dreams were realized, until Nick Sa-
chen, her father, of Kansas City, broke
them up.
Miss Sachen was the 1917 sensation
in New York She put it across" as
she phrased it, on newspapers, society,
and the jaded jongleurs of the cab
arets who welcomed her novelty and
innocence as they would fresh sum-
mer breeze.
They had laughed joyously when
Miss Sachen, ''the girl who grew up
with sledge dogs and could mush the
trail like an Eskimo" told them:
"Town Stacks Up Pretty WE'LL"
Daddy promised me l should see
the States when l grew up. This
town stacks up pretty well beside
Kuyukuk."
Queen of the SHOWS" the writer's
dubbed the wondering young girl as
they opened her eyes to the marvels
of New York.
"What impresses you most in New
York;" a reporter had asked her.
"The women, Of course" she had
replied. THE vast number of pretty
women who look like fairy pictures.
But | am astonished at the way they
rouge?"
do they not rouge in Alaskan" she
was asked.
"Why paint roses in your cheeks
when you can put them there by bet
ter MEANS" the little beauty of the
frozen north" replied. 'Out with us,
now. when woman wants Il touch of
red in her cheeks she goes out be-
hind the dog sledge and takes a mush
down the trail"
Pioneers in Alaska, she told the city
nabobS'who clustered about her and
invited her to their homes, had given
her the name of Queen" when she
was born.
Her name began to travel, and finally
one day an immigrant Austrian jani-
tor in Kansas City saw her picture in
the paper.
"Why, shucks," he said. THAT amt
no Alaska queen. That's my daugh-
ter"
"Sure, She's My Daughter"
When mick" Sachen was asked
about Miss Sachen he said: Louise?
Sure. she's my daughter. She came
home from Alaska last June. Been up
there over two years workin' in
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
SYRUP Of FIGS FOR
A CH|LO'S BOWELS
It is cruel to force nauseating,
harsh physic into a
sick child.

Look back at your childhood days.
Remember the dose" mother insisted
on-castor oil, calomel, cathartics.
How you hated them, how you fought
against taking them.
With our children it's different.
Mothers who cling to the old form OF
physic simply don't realize what they
do. The children's revolt is well-found.
ed. Their tender little "insides" are
injured by them.
If your child's stomach, liver and
bowels need cleansing, give only deli
cious California Syrup Of Figs" Its
action is positive, but gentle. Millions
of mothers keep this harmless fruit
laxative" handy; they know children
love to take it; that it never fails to
clean the liver and bowels and sweet
en- the stomach, and that teaspoonful
given today saves a sick child tomor'
row.
Ask at the store for 50-cent bottle
of California Syrup Of Figs" which
has full directions for babies, children
of all ages and for grown-ups plainly
on each bottle. Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
ARCT,, CIRCLE
=. GIRL A DREAM
"UnspoiIed Child of Alaska" Came
Fresh From a Chicago
Beanery.
new YORK HAILED QUEEN
Beautiful Eiehteen-Year-Old Maiden's
Triumph Harks Back to Kansas
City, Mo.-laborer Claims Her
as His Daughter.

New York.-The swift trail over
which Miss Louise Sachen had been
"mushing" after her arrival in New
York some time ago announcing she
was from the wilds of Alaska, seeking
the delights of civilization, slowed up
materially week later when Mick"
Sachen, labOrer of Kansas City, Mo-,
claimed her as his daughter.
Far from being a placer miner in an
ice-girded gulch, the man who says
he is her father is an honest day
workingman in Kansas City, where
the only ice attainable comes from the
refrigerating plant, and where the
stockyards provide the chief touch of
real nature.
He said that his daughter, Louise,
had indeed been in Alaska. She had
passed two years up there, he said,
working in a boarding house and get
ting her exercise on the runways be-
tween kitchens and dining rooms and
not the dog trails over the hills. OF
Jack" Maloney, the somewhat aston
iShed Mr.. Sachen said he had heard
also. Jack" according to this evil
dence, is a saloonkeeper in Fairbanks,
Alaska, who gave Miss Sachen the dia-
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Rats More Learned in Ohio.

Rats destroy on an average of $500
worth of catalogues each year at Ohio
state university, according to Lester
f. Wolfe, secretary of the entrance
board. The rodents, which infest the
basement of University hall, where the
catalogues are kept, nibble the binding
of the books in order to get the paste
which holds the leaves together. The
common methods used to get rid of
rats, such as poison and traps, have
long since been given up as useless,
for the rats, probably because of their
environment, are too wise to be tempt
ed by either.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
CAl0MEL S|CKENS! It SAL|vATES!
DON'T STAY BILIOUS, C0NST|PA1ED
Guarantee "Dodsons Liver Tone Will Give You the Best Liver
and Bowel Cleansing You Ever Had-Dont Lose Days Work.

Calomel makes you sick; you lose
days work. Calomel is quicksilver
and it salivates; calomel Injuries your
liver.
II you are bilious, feel lazy, sluggish
and all knocked out, If your bowels
are constipated and your head aches
or stomach is sour, just take a spoon
full of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone
instead of using sickening. salivating
calomel. Dodson's Liver Tone Is real
liver medicine. You'll know it next
morning because you will wake up
feeling fine. your liver will be work
ing, your headache and dizziness gone,
your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular. You will feel like
working. You'll be cheerful; full Of
vigor and ambition.
Your druggist or dealer sells you a
50-cent bottle Of Dodson's Liver Tone
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
BILIOUS, HEADACHY,
SICK ''CASCARETS"
Gently cleanse your liver and
sluggish bowels while
you sleep.
Get a l0-cent box.

Sick headache, bilousness, dizzi.
ness, coated tongue, foul taste and foul
breath-always trace them to torpid
liver: delayed, fermenting food in the
bowels or sour, gassy stomach.
Poisonous matter clogged in the in
testjnes. instead of being cast out
OF the system is re-absorbed into the
blood. When this poison reaches the
delicate brain tissue it causes con-
gestion and that dull, throbbing, sick
ening headache.
Cascarets Immediately cleanse the
stomach, remove the sour, undigested
food and foul gases, take the excess
bile from the liver and carry out all
the constipated waste matter and
poisons in the bowels.
Cascaret tonight will surely
straighten you out by morning. They
work while you sleep-a 10cent box
from your druggist means your head
clear, stomach sweet and your liver
and bowels regular for months. Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Needed Provender,

That rolling stone among authors,
Harry de Windt, tells the following
good story of his adventures on the
Yukon:
One day he and partner" he had
picked up in Dawson were going on a
trip in midwinter. The cold was, of
course, intense.
Just as they were on the point of
starting, his companion dumped a
number of hard. sharp-pOinted articles
in the sleigh, pitching them rather
unceremoniOusly on top of a sack of
oatmeal.
"LOok here" protested De Windt,
don't put those tent pegs on the oat-
meal. They'll poke their points through
the bag and there'll be a leak"
"These amt tent pegs" explained
the other, rather scOrnfully; they're
beefsteaks."
And so they were, cut and ready for
use on the line of march.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Would Get Him Out.

\ school-inspector, who was eXamin-
Ing n class of boys in arithmetic, set
the following question:
:. IF eat fell into bOttOmlesS pit,
and climbed up two feet for every
three it fell, how long would 1t take to
get out?'
This proved regular puzzler to the
lads, and one little fellow went at the
problem with a will, and covered both
sides of his slate with calculations.
''Here!" exclaimed the inspector, as
he noticed him hard at work. stop
doing that. Haven't you the sense to
see that the cat couldn't possibly get
outr'
"Oh, yes, he could, sir" replied the
boy, brightly. "if you'll only give me
time I'll bring him out at Australia"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Lives With Brain Exposed.

McKittrjek, Wis.-Bernard Archer
Of this city is still living after part of
his skull was blown away by the dis
charge of mis- shotgun. The move
ment of his brain can plainly be seen.
Archer was returning from q clay bird
shooting event when rabbit ran
across the road in front of him. In
going through the brush his gun was
knocked from his hand and was dis
charged as 1t struck the ground. He
was still able to walk into town after
the accident and has never been un-
conscious.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

Mrs. Diamond Brown became recon-
ciled to her wealthy husband in New
York court through the efforts of their
little curly-haired six-year-Old daugh-
ter, Dudley.
Mrs. Brown, who is a native of
Louisville, Ky, had been suing her
husband for a separation, and for the
custody of their little daughter.
While awaiting the hearing before
Judge Cohalan, little Dudley maneu-
vered the hands of her papa and man.
ma together and pulled them side by
side until they were smiling into each
others faces. Smiles led to speech
over the little girls curly hair.
Lets talk it over" said Mr.. Brown,
and Mrs. Brown consented.
And the little grille sObbed, II want
to be with both of you"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

under my personal guarantee that 1t
will clean your sluggish liver better
than nasty calomel; it won't make you
sick and you can eat anything you
want without being salivated. Your
druggist guarantees that each spoonful
will start your liver. clean your bowels
and straighten you up by morning or
you can have your money back. Chill.
dren gladly take Dodson's Liver Tone
because it is pleasant tasting and
doesn't grippe or cramp or make them
sick
lam selling millions of bottles Of bod.
sons Liver Tone to people who have
found that this pleasant, vegetable, liv.
er medicine takes the place of danger.
GUS calomel. Buy one bottle on my
sound. reliable guarantee. Ask your
druggist or storekeeper about me. Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
PIGG SAYS HE CAN'T
STAND NAME LONGER

Portland, Ore.-James Averal
Pigg of this city, is so sure that
his name is a handicap to his
life that he has asked the coun-
ty court to change it. Mr.. Pigg
says in his petition that his
name is a constant source of
annoyance and humiliation both
to him and his wife. He de-
clares friends and others COM
menting on his cOgnOmen have
caused a nervous strain which
he is unable to bear.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
A DELICIOUS DINNER

Break quarter package of Skim
ner's Macaroni into boiling water, boil
ten or twelve minutes, drain and
blanch. Take equal parts of cold
chicken, boiled Macaroni and tomato
sauce; put in layers in shallow
dish and cover with buttered crumbs.
Bake until brown. Just try this once.
SINNERS Macaroni can be secured at
any good grocery stOre.-Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
His Suspicion.

do you know why the bridegrQom's
attendant at the wedding is called the
best manT"
Il did not know before / was mar
ried," replied skimp little Mr.. Meek,
"but vey soon afterward l began to
SuSpect"-Judge.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
ACTRESS TELLS SECRET.

A we'll known actress gives the follow
ing recipe for gray hair: To half pint OF
water add OF. Bay Rum, small box of
Barbo Compound, and Y OF. Of glycerine.
Any druggist can put this up or you can
mix 1t at home at very little cost. Full
directions for making and use come In
each box of Barbo Compound. 1t will
gradually darken streaked, faded gray
hair, and make it soft and glossy. 1t will
not color the scalp, Is not sticky or
greasy, and does not rub of. Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Why?

Why does the sound Of bell cease
when you touch itf Because sound Is
due to waves in the air which strike
the drum Of the ear. When q bell or
gong is struck 1t vibrates and produces
waves In the air that reach the ear.
When you touch the bell the vibration
is stopped and there are no more sound
waves.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
PRISON is "HOME" TO HIM
tentiary Indiana Man Wants
to Go Back.

like home, even II 1t Is only the peni-
tentiary.
II want to get back home again as
soon as l can" said Juan Medina, a
half-breed Pueblo Indian. when hailed
into a justice court here on a charge
Of berRlary.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
PREPAREDNESS,

Prepare for next washday by taking
home Red Cross Ball Blue. Ask any
good grocer. Red Cross Ball Blue i'm
parts a clear white; makes you smile
when you see the basket of beautiful,
snowy white clothes. Red Cross, the
blue that's true blue.-Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

81 have served q years in six terms
within the penitentiary," said he In
good English. "They always treat upe
well there and want to get backk."
Medina, fifty-six years bld. has face
furrowed and shrivele6With time, with
straight black hairHFId every appear
ance of criminaB indifferent TO his
fate, was boundr }over to the March
term of the disurict court
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Akin to Marriage.

Willis-What system do these mill
tary airplanes work on?
Gillis-One person runs the ma
chine, and the other is just an Observ-
er, but both of them fight.
Willis-f see; just like being mar
ried.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Innocent Recreation.

Father had demanded heart-tO-
heart talk with his only son.
81 am told that you are given to
gambling" he said sternly.
81 admit it," the son acknowledged.
"but only for small stakes.
"Oh, as long as it is for something
to eat / don't mind" the father said.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
No Hindrance,

"Pop, will you answer me one busi-
ness question:"
always glad to, my son. What is
itT
"When a community goes dry can
q firm there liquidate"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Arts Main Point.

Il always said Pushkey was a bad
musician. They didn't accomplish any
thing worthy Of art at his organ re-
cital."
"Oh, yes, they did. They took up q
collection"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Lucky Mermaid,

"There goes a millionaire and his
young wife. He first saw her In a div
ing tank"
"Welli Well! !"
'Thanks to his money, she's been in
the swim ever since"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION

should be given to sprains, swellings,
bruises, rheumatism and neuralgia.
Keep Mansfield's Magic Arnica Lini-
ment handy on the shelf. Three sizes
-25c, SOC and $1.OO.-Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Not Much Trouble.

"What are you doing now, Pete"
I'm collecting"
COLLECTING what?''
"My thoughts"
Gosh, you always were lucky get
ing light work. Puck.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Man Who Knows,

THE doctor says l am working too
hard"
I'D put more faith in that dag
aosis If ii came from your boss"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Sure EnouCh-

1.-The doctor says I'm eating too much
sweet stuff. Says sugar makes you
lazy. Think it dOes?'
Loaf sugar might
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

There is a Catholic daily newspaper
published in Tientsin. China.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
THAT GRIM WHITE SPECTRE.

Pneumonia, follows on the heels of a
neglected cough or cold. Delay no
longer. Take Mansfield's Cough Bal.
sam. Price SOC and S1.O0.-Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Disciple of jefferson.

She-Why have you never married
He-I am opposed to entangling al
lianceS.-BOstOn Evening Transcript.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
Important TO Mothers
Picked the RIGHT Spot.

Il see where Il rich man has built a
lake and flower garden on top of an
apartment house"
That would be just the place for
truck garden"
"Why?"
Il don't see how the neighbor's
chickens could ever get up there"
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

The cashier should be known by the
company that keeps him.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

An up-to-date woman is seldom up
ro-date with her age.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
~ Fearless.

Fearless NJ Ids climb soonest into
crowns-ShFkespeare.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
COVETED BY ALL

COVETED BY ALL
but possessed by few-a beautiful
head of hair. If yours is streaked with
gray, or is harsh and stiff, you can re-
store it to its former beauty and lus-
ter by using ia Creole" Hair Dress
ing. Price S1.OO.-Adv.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09
OnIv One "BROMO OUININE"

10 get the genuine, call for full name LAXATIyH
BROMO OUININE. Look for signature of H. w
aROVB. Cures q Cold in One Day. Csc.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

The actuality of today seldom looks
as good as the theory of yesterday.
Tensas gazette., 1917-03-09

advised her to marry while the going
was good"
Instead of matrimony, Miss Sachen
chose to go to New York "to see the
high buildings and big places" and
she went, he says, as she can go
any place "if she can raise the dough
to bum around on"
Tips Herself to Papers.
When she blew into New York, Miss
Sachen took suite in the farthest
north of one of the leading hotels. Not
many hours later voice called up the
city editor Of one of the newspapers
and said:
Registered at the hotel is a very
pretty girl, daughter of wealthy
miner of Alaska, who has come out of
the wilds for the first time since she
was an infant. Her name is Miss
Louise Sachen. Her views on the wOm-
en- of New York, the trolley cars which
she is seeing for the first time, etc,
should be Interesting. She has bear
skin clothes in her trunk, gold mug
gets in her handbag. and everything.
Hurry, hurry. hurry"
Whitefaced. the star sob reporter
slid down brass pole and with one
jump he was inside the hotel. Sure
enough. there was Miss Sachen, de-
mure, pretty girl with soft brown
eyes. And she had the bear-skin
clothes and nuggets and everything.
The newspaper columns were
opened TO her not only the next morn
ing, but every morning since.
A day hadn't passed until morning
mail of the unspOiled child Of the
frozen north had begun to mount high
er than any stack of wheats a hard
working girl in beanery ever saw.
There were letters from kindly men
and women all over the city telling her
that they had read of her and had seen
her pictures in the newspapers and
advising her mot to let the great
dreadful city spoil her beautifully
fresh views"
Her Dreams Shattered.
Her dreams of being LADY among
swell people" shattered, Miss Louise
Sachen, who captivated New York by
posing as ''the queen of Alaska" ad-
mitted here that she could not put 1t
across" in Chicago, where she got her
inspiration.
When she went to Chicago from
Kansas City, Miss Sachen said, she just
"played the Diano" and ''ran downtown
for the lady was with, who was run
ming a beauty parlOr."
On her way down State street, said
Miss Sachen, she envied the dazzling
ladies of society who passed her in
their limousines. She wanted furs