The Washington times., 1917-09-06
By LOUIS A. BOUCHER.
with Apologies to Hershneld-) }

with Apologies to Hershneld-)
Molleh, take dictate.
/ would write letteh to Clark
Grif. 1 would tell him he has fine
pitcheh.
Dear Clark, 1 go to your baseball
park and see the players. They are
fine, big felleh, they eat a lot more
than me, they are more stingier
than Pinck, and he is awful stingier
than anybody else l know. Your
baseball players don't give them New
Yorkers nothing. They don't give
them a run.
Dear Clark, I want congratulate
you, postivel, on your base ball
team. 1t is great team, postivel.
1t is niftick. The sport editor, he
say you're sixth, but / want con-
gratulate you. Your team had ought
be first.
go out to baseball park with
Minsk and the sport editor, the last
one e hard felleh. He smokes cigars,
two for a quarteh. SO he says. He
drinks high ball. He sees Benneh
Leonard. a Jewish felleh. champeen
OF the world, boxing on the Monu-
ment grounds. I don't believe this,
but that's what he tells meh. lis
ten. They can't fool Able, the Agent,
not Able.
Doc Cox Great FeIIeh.
This sport editor, he say. GOOD
night, GriTs working Old Doctor |
Cox. What's the use? Let's go back |
to Shoes"
I say, Nothing like that. Let's go |
back to Sam Steinberger's. Beers |
only a nickel there. Besides, I don't |
like that Willy Fishbean felleh. or |
that Cliff H. o.. or that Bishop Flana-
gan. They cost too much for their |
beer. Besides. I don't like as much |
beer as you like"
The sport editor say, Come on,
Able, don't be a piker. Stick around,
maybe I'll Introduce you to Marshall
Little. the felleh that made the draft
peerade."
Just then three fellehs, they come
in to the press box and say. Hello,
kid" / don't like them fellehs, posi-
tIveL They speak to sport editor,
Washington TIMES.
Able Meets EN-.
"Able, meet Lord Fitzherbert and
Tommy Thompson. Oh. yes. Mr.. Du-
gan. Able" says the sport editor. I
shake their hand, niftick like. you
know, just as II sell them a bill O.
goods.
Just then Mike Menosky. a Irish
Jew like Minsk. a tough felleh, hits
the ball. It goes out to the right
side and I yell, quiet like. / don't
like this Dugan felIeh. He been in q
night or something. all marked up. I
hate to laugh. He's a friend OF the
sport editor, who gave me a free
ticket
Then Tommy Thompson say.
Mikes over on Rice's out" I look,
but don't see no out for nobody, not
a single felleh. look at all the fine
on the fence. Next
season put the Complex Automobile
Company there. II can make some
business with the fellehs who run
that fence.
In Comes Ben Minor.
Then a felleh and another feIleh
come in and talk to Dugan. friend of
the sport editor. They wave their
hands. They make noise. Just like
Ninsk. They must be selling some
thing.
Don't mind them" say the sport
editor. That's just Ben Minor and
Billy Fowler. Don't mind them"
That Fowler is a niftick felIeh,
full o. style
See that fat guy?" say the sport
editor, that's Edgar Brown, the
Printers manager, the guy that
bought a hotel in Philadelphia. See
him7 Right there, smoking a cigar
\ good nickel cigar"
Gee, that Brown is a fat guy, Grin ,
"A real fat guy.
Sam Rice Slams One.
Then the sport editor says, "AbIe,
did you see that triple? Don't miss
this stuff" look away from that
business fence and q felleh in a white
suit is on the left.
THAT Rice-Sam Rice" say the
sport editor. "He just busted one on
The beeZer for three"
"Wow, wow" say Tommy Thomp-
son, listen to that noise"
Foster just sacrificed Rice home" |
say the sport editor. "but see no ad- ]
,ertisement OF the sacrifice. Bad !
business. say. You should ought to