The Washington times., 1917-04-06

cratic, her 10000, 900 OF people will
learn OF the Joys OF governing each
other.
r. T. writes US that the most
picked person he ever saw was wait
ing outside a movie show to take the
fillum star home.
A poet, who Is not quite one OF
our contributors, says in his song
that the Kaiser has seen the Meme,
Meme, Tekel Upharsin on the wall.
The sentiment OF several other
bards who have volunteered their
strophes for the duration of the war
or longer seems to be that the Kaiser
should not be allowed to stand where
he can see what is written on any
wall whatsoever. 1t is their evident
belief that his eyes should be BAN
daged and his back placed against
the wall.
After that. they intimate, the sun
mEy rise when ready.
Our Daily Anonymous German can
think up nothing better today than
calling us an Englishman. He evi-
IDENTIFY means It as a term OF re-
proarh. We don't mind telling him
that Il doesn't peeve us a bit. We
are an American first and always.
Rut there are no people on earth to-
dsy that we more respect and honor
and admire than the English.
A man whose brains won't zs: him
into print may always grab some
publicity for his kidneys by signing
q patent medicine Testimonial.
F. D., who must be q riotous young
devil and proud of 1t, says that II
is not merely love that makes the
world 60 round. Strong drink, he
claims, will produce the same phe-
nomenon.
mot many years ago." says the
Rochester IN. " Post Express, at
was worth while at this season to
ride to the end OF q car line ana
proceed afield on foot in search of
trailing arbutus."
And now she Is married to some
one else?
Some OF those days we are going
to run q column consisting entirely
OF the attempts OF press agents to
break in.
A statistician has figured out that
to run the city OF New York costs
$500 q minute.
1t seems q lot OF money until
you try to rent a bungalow for
the summer within committing dis
tance.
4 The skimpiness OF women's dresses
never really shocked our moral
sense very much, although we have
felt called on from time to time to
pretend that it did.
The thing that really outrages our
puritanical spirit is the indecent
manner in which steak and onions
comes before us in the restaurants
these days. The steak scarcely
hides the onions.
It's odd how proud a really sue
cessful doctor or lawyer or mer-
chant can be OF q perfectly punk
game OF golf.
Hindenburg still seems to be get
ting considerable help in his retreat
from the British and French.
Flags have increased IS per cent
in price, an exchange says-and the
flag is one OF the necessities of life
that we like to see going UP.
Millinery note from Petrograd:
haTnD loss this
year than last.
From a contemporary we CLEAN
the fact that some one has invented
q rubber artificial eye.
1t seems a little radical TO us.
well-dressed men will always avoid
extremes. OF course, at an Informal
affair, there is nothing to be said
against wearing a picked onion
when all the guests are intimate
friends. But the truly modish man,
as the haberdasher frequently re-
minds US, is usually conservative.
Berlin cannot u u7derstanc Americas
attitude.-Heddline
OF course not. The murde. of
Americans by the German government
was always meant in the very friend
liest way.
George Sylvester Viereck, the
papers say, is now wearing an Ameri-
can flag.
We congratulate Germany on Mr..
vicreck's decision q disconncct him
self with that country.
Prohibition IS urged as a war
measure.
Some one IS always trying to make
a pacifst out OF us.
The circus press agent has got up
a Nbeauty contest. Any boy OF eight
would give the prize to the elephant.
The one he speared at Punta Gorda
the other day was not the first mem
Der of the well-known octopus family
that T. r. ever harpooned.
Ty Cobb seems to have the Amerl-
can League pretty well disciplined.
Says an ad in the personal column
OF the London Times:
"Antony-If this reaches your eye,
please write-Cleopatra."
Some people never get old enough