The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1917-11-09

lie.
The reason that advice is usually Of
little value is that it is not based on
a perfect knowledge of the infinity of
detail that makes up a condition. Per-
feet advice should fit the situation as
glove fits the hand; most advice
does not get much nearer than a box
ing glove in the matter of fitting.
That the family interference may
arise from genuine interest does not
excuse it nor even explain it; where
love is greatest it should be most ten
der and most considerable. There are
times when some tiny flame of misun-
Outstanding arises between husband
and wife that breath of kindly in
depreciation might blow into nothing
ness, but, talked over by the family
and canvassed and debated and in
tensified, grows into a cOnflagratiOn.
Under the gossip, often unthinking
of its evil influence, tiny molehill of
difficulty may become an almost impas-
sable Rocky Mountain range. Oil is
good thing to pour on troubled wa
tiers but it is poor to put out a fire.
A difficulty that originally concerned
only duet now has been made to af-
feet the whole family choir. 1t is cas-
Ter for two people to reach loving har-
mOny than to distribute it among
dozen.
Sometimes the interference of fam
lilies becomes even more active and
aggressive than this, and because of a
fancied grievance or a genuine oppo-
sitiOn it actually comes between hus-
band and wife and by harsh criticism
or condemnation seeks to incite strife
and discord between them. Here in
slant loyalty of the one to the other
should assert itself and refuse to listen
to the voice. In an instructive spirit
of protection there should be calm,
dignified protest against the recital
of what if unessential should never
be spoken, and if Of serious import
should be heard only in the presence
of the one thus charged with what
he or she should have the opportunity
of denying or disproving instantly, be-
fore the weeds of suspicion have time
to root themselves in the heart of
the other.
In many homes, there is some one
in the family, on either side, whose
visits bring q trail of sadness, sorrow,
protest, bitter opposition, an unneces-
Sary and unwarrantable intrusion of
discordant element tending to worry,
irritate and perhaps even to bring into
lnharmOny husband and wife. In this
delicate situation it often seems prob
lem how best to act. The health and
happiness of the home must be consid-
cred as of first and greatest impor-
lance. If it be but trivial inconven-
fence or jar to the domestic serenity,
the wisdom of tolerance for time
should be manifested.
If it be of more serious menace, i'm
possible to master by patient bearing,
the privilege of hospitality should not
be strained beyond the bearing point.
There is a moment when sacrifice
ceases to be virtue and degenerates
into cowardice, vice. There may be an
injustice to oneself and to sone near
and dear that this unwelcome guest
hood Outrages. 1t is not true hospital
ity to mask the hearts continued pro-
test under smile, to submit unneces-
sarily to an atmosphere that saps ones
mental and moral vitality, that dulls
energy, deadens ones finer sensibility,
and kills the Joy Of life, leaving one
worried, weak, worn and weary, unable
to meet as one should the questions of
everyday living.
If we constantly suffer injustice that
we can remove, we are slaves to the
individuality of another and towards
to our own. The ranking irritation
of the unjust bearing, If continued, will
permeate our whole nature, like an
emotional poison. We should therefore
act calmly, wisely, with kindness and
dignity, and frankly recognize condi-
tons and with perfect fairness take
the gentlest action that will remedy
them. Better a short, decisive battle
fought to finish than a constant Sc
ries of petty squabbles and skirmishes.
We cannot be just to others if we are
unjust to ourselves. If one lives ever
under the scepter of the decision of
others, it is not free life-it is slavery.
One cannot keep emotion constantly
corked up; some time that cork will
come out-perhaps inopportunely.
True love, true companionship, true
living, can reign in the home only as
there is in the home an atmosphere of
liberty, of individual freedom in its
highest sense.
If there be interference from out
side forces, whether they be from the
family or others, that tends to blight
the joy, rest, peace and calm of the
home, that threatens to bring in even
the thin edge of the wedge of discord
between husband and wife-that inter-
ference should be silenced forever.
The home should be a sanctuary Of
refuge, not bottle ground of discord;
it should be place where the angel
of love ever swings the censor of
peace and calm and haDDineSS