The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1917-11-25
IOWA MAN 'SSAT|RE
ON KAISER WILHELM
SATAN INFORMS GERMAN RULER
lie HAS OUSTED ALL OTHER
EVIL DOERS.

st. Paul Dispatch: Louis Sybcrkrop
OF Crsston has acquired much fame In
recent weeks as an author OF satire
on Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests have
como to him from Tumulty. Secretary
Daniels and Roosevelt. and people in
every state Of the union and In Canada
have asked for copies Of Mr.. Syberkrop's
article. II Is As follows
The Internal Region.
June eS. 1917.
TO wilhelm Won Hohenzollern. King
OF Prussia. Emperor Of All Germany
and Envoy Extraordinary Of Al
mighty God:
by that familiar name for ! have al
ways been very close to you. much clo-
ser than you could ever know.
From the time that you were yet an
undeveloped being In your mothers
womb l have shaped your destiny for
my own purpose.
I'm the days OF Rome created q
roughneck known In history as Nero:
he was vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time. In
these modern days q classic demon
and efficient super-criminal was need
ed, and as ! know the Hohengollern
blood. / picked you ~ my special in
strument to place on earth An annex
OF hell. | gave you abnormal ambi-
ton, likewise an over supply OF ego
tism that you might not discover your
own failings; l twisted your mind to
that Of q mad man with certain normal
tendencies to carry you by. most
dangerous character placed in power:
| gave you the power Of a hypnotist
and a certain magnetic force that you
might sway your people ! am re-
sponsible for the deformed arm that
hangs helpless on your left, for your
crippled condition embitters your life
and destroys all noble impulses that
might otherwise cause me anxiety, but
your strong sword arm is driven by
your ambition that sQuelches all senti-
ment and piety; ] placed in your soul
q deep hatred for all things English,
for Of all nations on earth | hate Eng
land most: wherever England plants
her flag she brings order out OF chaos
and the hated Cross follows the Union
Jack; under her rule wild tribes be-
come tilers Of the soil and in due time
practical citizens: she is the great civil
izer OF the globe and HATE HER.
I planted in your soul a cruel hatred
for YOUR mother because SHE was
English and left my good friend Bis
marck TO fan the flame | had kindled.
Recent history proves how well our
work was done. 1t broke your royal
mothers heart, but / gained my pur-
pose.
The inherited disease of the Hohen-
zollerns killed your father. just as 1t
will kill you. and you became the ruler
of Germany and tool OF mine sooner
than | expected.
ITO assist you and further hasten
nv work / sent you three evil spirits
Nietzsche, Treitschke and later Bern
hardi whose teachings infiamed the
Youths of Germany. who in good time
would be willing and loyal subjects
and eager to spill their blood and pull
your chestnuts, yours and mine; the
spell has been perfect-you cast your
ambitious eyes toward the Mediter-
ranean, Egypt, India and the Darda-
nelles and you began your great ran
way TO Bagdad. but the ambitious
archduke and his more ambitious wife
stood In your way 1t was then that
I :=owed the seed In your heart tnat
blossomed into the assassination OF the
duke and his wife. and all hell smlleu
when It saw how cleverly you saddled
sails for the fjords of Norway and
knew you would prove an alibi. How
cleyerly done, 80 much like your noble
grandfather who also secured an as
sassin TO remove old King Frederick or
Denmark. and later robbed hat conn-
try Of two provinces that gave Ger
many an opportunity to become
naval power. Murder is dirty work. but
il takes a Hohenzollern to make away
and get by.
Your opportunity was at hand; you
set the world on fire and bells OF hell
were ringing; your rape on Belgium
caused much joy, it was the begin.
ming. the foundation Of perfect he'll
on earth the destruction Of noble ca
thedrals and other infinite works oi
art was hailed with Joy in the Internal
regions. You made war on friends ana
foe alike and the murder OF civilians
showed my teachings had borne fruit.
Your treachery toward neutral ma
tions hastened a universal upheaval,
the thing l most desired. Your under
sea warfare is a master stroke, from
the smallest mackerel pot to the great
I.usitania you showed no favorites; as
a war lord you stand supreme, for you
have no mercy; you have no considera'
tion for the baby clinging to its moth
er's breast as they both go down into
the deep together, only to be torn
apart and leisurely devoured by sharks
down among the corals.
"I have strolled over the battleneids
of Belgium and France. / have seen
YOUR hand of destruction everywhere;