The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-05-28

her command, America will have no easy task to perform. If Russia res mains passive, no one can estimate the demands that will be made upon the United States.
 The plans already made and being perfected indicate that registration day in Birmingham will be profoundly | impressive. It will be an occasion to honor our young men and at the same time to show the depth of patriotism which pervades our entire citizenship, whether eligible for military service or not.
 June 5 will not be holiday. It will be day of consecration.
 The average boarder won't take kindly to the suggestion that smaller portions be served in his boarding house He can pove that his allowance of butter has already reached the van ishing point.
 The United States Is ready for war and Is merely waiting the word "Go!' de- clares Vice President Marshall. It may be lese majeste to say so, but Tom Mar shall doesn't know what he's talking about.
 The time is coming when a June bride who gets peck of potatoes for wedding present will assume an air of extreme hauteur, as befitting one who Is the possessor of great wealth
 *
 The Germans used airplanes in their latest raid on England, but the large number of women and children killed would have gladdened the heart of Zeppelin commander.
 Ms*
 There is good ground for suspecting that some of those Austrians don't lose any time in surrendering to the Italians. They like to quit while the quitting is good.
 Lloyd George thinks the U-boat men, ace has been largely overcome. The Ger man people are probably being told that the batting averages of the U-boats are higher than ever
 Loud explosions heard in various parts of the country are not muni- tions plants being destroyed by Ger man agents. They are bush leagues blowing up.
 Whats the use of building a fleet of undersea merchantmen. if we are going to put those U-boats out of bus mess just as soon as we can get around to it?
 The French are confident that American inventors will be able to solve the U-boat problem. That confi- dence seems to be shared by American inventors.
 Duty is duty, of course, but the sol diers who have to guard the Mexican border while their comrades are fight ing in France will Be entitled to sym pathy.
 It is all very well for girl to put on a khaki suit and practice marks manship, but she can make herself more useful by joining. the Red Cross. German spies are still plentiful in this country, but now that there is risk of their activities terminating fatally. they are going to be more careful It has reached the point where a dollar makes about as much noise in grovery store as dime does in JSW6lry SLOTG.
 *
 An aerial voyager sailing over any part of the United States on a Sun day afternoon would find the country roads full of flivvers.
 
 There Is nothing exasperates an improvident man like seeing his thrifty neighbor laying in supply of winter coal in midsummer
 
 Nothing Is heard from Nicholas Ro- manoff of Russia, but the chances are that he Is still in low spirits
 *
 Incidentally, what has become of the scientists who set out to make kissing a lost art?
 LUKE M'LUKE SAYS A woman will never forgive a man if he doesn't apologize to her every time