davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Cook Converts
Old Order General

Before the "Darty" there was a din.
ncr. The guests consi 5ted % gen.
eral, two colonels, a matron Of the Red
Cross and myself. Our hostcs5cs were
the area controller, a unit adminis,ra.
tor and her assistant. We were waited
on by girls IN brown VINO wore the red
shoulder strap signifyiag household
and the fOod-army rations-was
cooked by a ". A. A. c. cook who
hailed from Deyonshire and gave Us
meat pasties."
81 WISH" said the general, plain.
lively, as he surveyed the "pasties.s
that ] was entitled 10 one Of your
cooks, Mrs. X"
$50 you are converted, general-
cried Mrs. Y, area controller 'and
doctor of science, with a twinkle in
her dark eyes.
The general nodded his head solemn
ly. 81 have a shorthand typist now
one Of your girls-who has shortened
my official day by two hours. There
never was such young woman! She
has a memory for everything
Didn't he like them at frstT I
whispered to my neighbor, a young
colonel.
wouldn't have 'em at any price" be
returned in the same tone. said he'd
carry on alone rather than have one
woman in the Office. Went about Ike
bear with 4 sore head when he ssv
they had 70 come. Now he wonders
/ how he managed without 'em. | have
sixteen working for me. They have
very confidential work 10 do, and
have discovered that they never dis
cuss their job even with each other
Have you heard about the Hush
Waacs'Y
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Happy Even
Peeling Onions

We passed through the great mess
loom where one or two more girls were
placing gauze covers over the bread
and sugar. Each girl wore a drill
overall over her frock-coat and a drill
mob cap on her head. All of them
even those peeling onions-looked
happy.
From the camp, with its thousands
of living occupants | walked to the
camp Of the dead. Wind-swept, sand
swept, q level spot between the dunes,
with narrow pathways between the
rows of graves, is one of the many
spots where the men of Britain rest.
Moving between the graves were three
or four girlish forms in brown. One
leaned on her rake and smiled at me.
mo, ! don't find it sad," she said, in
answer to my question. 81 just love
it. We try to make the flowers grow,
but it's fight against the sand. How
ever, we are learning what will best
survive, and last month it was really
beautiful. | suppose one does favor
some graves. This one" she touched
affectionately wooden cross "was
only eighteen when he died Just a
baby. Pm trying to get ranunculus to
grow over him, but it's very unpro-
tected in this corner. No, never did
any real gardening before; but Ive put
my heart and my back into this"
At the far end of the cemetery | saw
little group Of men, part Of Union
Jack and the chaplain.
Another grave for you to tend?' I
asked.
There are always new snes," she
said, soberly. IL hope their mothers
know we do our best to keep them as
they would be at home"
She picked up her rake and began
gently TO level the sandy soil which
covered the heart Of the boy " eigh-
teen.
carried the memory of that ceme-
terry with me through the long day.
Even the sight of "Wsacs," as they
call themselves, painting motor cars,
acting as "store keepers" in ordnance
depots, or driving motor lorrics, did
not dispel it, Consequently, when my
sheep dog" herself "Waac," with
the rank of unit administrator, said,
"Will you come to party the -
camp are giving tonight" ! enthusi-
astically accented
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Garry Onl" Barked
The Sergeant Major

Accompanied by an old sergeant
major of the bulldog type, / went into
mess kitchen. The camp sccommo-
dated some thousands of men, and grad
ually the male cooks were being re-
placed by women. There were thirty
girls in this particular kitchen, cooking
for about 1900 soldiers. As We entered
the door heard a sound of singing.
"Attenshun!" barked the sergeant
major.
Don't stop them, please" I whis,
pered.
Garry on" barked the sergeant
major.
There were fifteen girls sitting on
the floor, peeling onions and singing
"Annic Laurie" a ballad which was
eminently suitable for their fearful
task.
"Head cook" commanded the Ser
geant major.
A rosy-cheeked slip of a girl came
from the pantry and stood at attention.
"Are you really the head cook?" !
asked. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-three, ma'am; like the
work. Yes; it's hard, of course, and
takes a bit of getting used to, but
we're doing better now"
"She's a good cook" interjected the
sergeant major. "No more greasy
stews and boiled rags like the men had
before. Threw everything into pot
at once, the men cooks did, and left it
until they happened to remember. And
the way the soldiers complained was
something awful. Any complaints of
you, Head Cook?"
'Not yet" was the reply.
She lifted the lid of an enormous pot
and savory odor reached my nose.
Dinner" said the sergeant major,
as though | didn't know it. snow we
must get on, ma'am."
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
All Girls Under
Adjutant General

But before | say any more about the
party, feel that | must explain little
Of the organization Of the w. A. A. c..
as otherwise one might be at liberty to
imagine that these girls in brown we're
merely set of enterprising young
women without head and with no
rules to guide them. As a matter Of
fact. they are all under the sdjutsnt
general and have the following OFF =
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
The Gas
Gong
Saves Us

I dropped my glove, got off my chest
protector, and madly rushed for my
helmet and soon had it on. the rooters
and players doing the same. Then ]
cot wise. | remembered oyewart's in
structious: "Watch out for gas. III
make 'em hunt for their gas helmets"
The nerve and daring of his scheme
took my breath away. The Canadians
had q mile to 90 to get TO their sta
t;ons. and believe me, it is no fun dou-
hle-timing for a mile while q gas he'll
met is choking you with It's chemical
fumes.
Well, those Canadians beat i, and 80
did we, but the game was saved and all
bets were oil.
nearly smothered with laughter in
NV gas helmet. To the rest, not being
sin the know" it was genuine alarrr
Shortly after the stampede it was dis
covered that the alarm was false, and .
rigid investigation Immediately took
place. But the Canadians had left and
our money was safe. 1t certainly would
have gone hard with the culprit had
he been caught. As il was, our bat
talon got two weeks as extra fatigue
on working and digging parties.
AlLeTWhIu L was lct lubO the scCttt'
Stewart had given Stein ten francs to
sound the gas alarm, which, with his
fifteen francs bet on the game. Stein
did not have il in his heart TO refuse.
Many time Stewart, Stein and my
self had quiet little laugh when we
pictured the Canadians stampeding 70.
their billets.
Then orders <Nxere received to tax,
over a new sector Of the line, end base
ball was forgotten. The work in front
of us was TO be of the grimmest nature.
Not long after that, in my first going
"over the top" Stewart was killed ard
Stein wss wounded. was also slightly
wounded.
Thus ended the career Of the Fusil:er
Giants on the Western Front.
1Ccpyrigst 1917. by tho Mcclure Newspaper
ssndicsts)
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
They Had
Only to
Write Home

five minutes. Then Stewart started
madly to open his haversack' ! thousnI
he had suddenly gone crazy. reaeheu
nv hand in the direction of my bayo-
net. fearing that he was looking Tor a
Mills bomb. When he drew his hand
out. hanging to his fist was a writing
pad. I let go Of my bayonet. Borrow
/ inc a pencil from me Stewart was al
vavs borrowing), he started writing.
thought perhaps he was going to
commit suicide and was writing a
farewell letter home, and asked him
what was up. He whispered to me:
Emp, we're two bloody fools not TO
| have thought of this long ago. All
we've got to do is TO write home to
one Of the New York papers, asking
the readers to send out baseball stuff
to US, and it will only be matter Of
I a few weeks when we will have enough
to equip two teams"
| offered to write the letter, and with
Stewart bending over me l eagerly
turned the letter over to the Mail Or
derly.
We then explained to the Tommics
that equipment was necessary and that
We had written home, but while waiting
for the baseball stuff to arrive we
would carry on with our instruction
classes.
The next day Stewart and ! made a
woollen baseball out of an old puttee,
/ fixed up a temporary diamond, and
showed the Tommies the general run Of
the game. Their antics were awful. II
we had used a regular baseball ] don't
think there would have been Tommy
in the squad without black eye. Dlo
you ever watch a girl trying to catch a
ball? Well, a girls team alongside Of
some of these Tommies would have
looked like the winner of our worlds
series. 1t was hard work keeping their
interest up.
Two weeks later we went up into the
front line; then came back again for
another rest. The interest in baseball
was dying out and we were 1t oar wits
end. Time passed, and we figured out
that we ought to be hearing from our
appeal, but nothing came. Then, once
again we went into he Front Linz
/ Trench.
The Tommies were very skepticsl,
and every time baseball was mentioned
they would gaze in our direction with
a sneering look. This completely got
/ our goats.
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
A Timber
Full of
Parcels

and downhearted. Pretty soon the ra-
tion, came up. The ration party gen
orally brings the rations down into the
dugouts, but the two men carrying our
"dixieD set il down in the mud OF the
trench and almost "shot the chutes'
down the entrance to the dugout.
They were breathless with excitement
One of them yelled out:
"Yank, there's Timber full OF par
cells down in the reserve dugout.
They're all addressed TO you, h'Empey'
and they're from America"
Stewart let out shout and | felt
warm all over. How we lorded 1t over
those poor Tommies. That right We
were to be relieved and 80 back to rest
bjllets. We could hardly wait for the
time.
The next morning was Sunday, and
after church parade we made mad
rush TO the Orderly Room TO get our
mail.
The Quartermaster Sergeant was
waiting for me, and behind him stood
every officer in the company. trying to
disguise the eIpectant look On their
faces. Every eye was turned in the
direction of heap of parcels. Thought
the "Quarter" never would start. Even
the Captain could not stand it, and
giving way to his eagerness, said:
Sergeant, you had better issue the
mail"
Stewart and ! were all anxiety.
Then, STOPPING down, the cergesnt
took up parcel and read of: "Empey,
No. b2o3," and threw it over to me. ]
caught it on the hy. The Sergeant kept
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Teaching
the Great
Game

I'm going TO bore holes in your nap
pers,' and using the funnel I'm going
to pour into those gsrrets of yours
little brains. Then, after you've ac-
quired gray matter, I'm going to teach
you the great American game of base
ball; and then when through teaching
you, Pm going to retire to the Old Sol
diers' Home as physically and mentally
unfit, because / know tho job will put
me there"
The Tommies did not take exception
to his pointed remarks about their
lack Of brains. They overlooked this
because they were very eager to learn
how TO play baseball.
A chorus Of, "Go TO hit, Yank; that's
what we want-something new out ERE
in this bloody mess Of mud and COO
ties"
Stewart said that we would have to
talk the matter over, and, reckoning
to me, went in the direction of the bill
let. | followed. He then outlined his
scheme.
We were 10 form two baseball class
es, Stewart in charge of one, ! the
other. On the plaster of the billet
We carefully scratched out a baseball
diamond, and then called the Tommies
in. They sat around like little children
in a school, eagerly intent. For two
hours we explained the game TO them.
When We got through they all knew
how 70 play baseball-on paper. We
dismissed them, telling them another
class would be held the following after
noon. That night Stewart and l.
around the stump Of candle, went
into details for organizing two teams.
Everything appeared rosy and we were
highly jubilant. A Tommy eased over
in our direction and innocently asked:
81 sye, Yank, isn't it necessary to
ave bysebslls and clubs? We cawn't
very we'll ply without EN-"
This was q bombshell to us. In our
esgernes5 and excitement we had quite
! forgotten that bats. balls and gloves
were necessary. thought Stewart was
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Hush Waacs'' Do
Secret Service Work
?" | murmured

"The --?" / murmured
That's just il; the work IS so seeti
that one Just says Hush They are
simply splendid. The other night there
was an air raid and they were told to
20 down % the cellar. II we can have
a light and table said one, we car
90 on working down there And they
did. Some pluckl"
Then the motor arrived and my host
esses carried me off to the party. |.
was taking place in a camp about three
miles from the town--a camp built en-.
tirely of Nissen huts, which look like
1 half-barrels cut lengthwise. There
must have been fifteen Of these huts.
and one Of them had been given and
| furnished by the Y. W. G. A. AS a
recreation room. Every camp has a
recreation room and piano. We could
/ hear this particular piano as we drove
I up TO the camp entrance, fer the party
had been in full swing since Z and 10
was now 9.
These girls are 'Signallers,' said
the area controller. THAT is, tele.
graphists and telephonists. They al
wear the blue and white badge on one
arm which indicates signaller. Thh
is their monthly party, 20 which the,
can invite men of their own grade
subject 20 approval"
1t was a CHEEKY sight which greeted
us.
About thirty girls in their brow
uniforms were taltzing with good
looking lads and stout 5ergeSni&
Others were laughing and chatting
over plates Of fruit salad, Sandwiches
and cups of coffee. | was struck By
the beautiful hair most OF the siflf
had and also by the fact that few had
I cut it short. They all looked physi.
cally fit and most of them in ra1an:
health
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
We came to bat
We came to bat
first. Our first man
up got beaned, and
instead of taking
first base he went
out into the pitch
The Big
Game
Begins


pitcher. After a little argument we
managed TO get him on first.
The Canadian pitcher was wild. The
next ball went over the catcher's head
and our runner took second.
The next man up struck out.
| batted third, hit to the outfield, the
right fielder dropped the ball and
reached second, the runner ahead of me
moving to third. Then Stewart got up
and placed a corking double out into
left field. Stewart was a fast runner
/ started for home, touched third, the
runner in front of me ploughing along
for home plate. He ran like an ice wagon
/ was shouting to him to hurry up.
could hear Stewart pounding behind me
The Tommy's cap blew off, and instead
of going home he stopped to pick it up
Stewart was shouting, LEG it, here
comes the ball." as he slid into third
base. ] could not precede the runner in
so we were trapped for double play
Stewards angora was bristling and mine
was tugging at its chain.
The Canadian rooters were tickled TO
death, their sarcastic remarks burning
into Stewart and me. Stewart was fast
losing his temper.
The first two Canadians struck out
The third man up got his base on d
passed third strike. My error.
Then our substitute first baseman
pulled a stunt which turned the tables
on the Canadians and we were some
what sppeased.
The Canadian runner was playing a
few feet off first base. Suddenly ou'
first baseman shouted to him, "Look
out, ere comes a she'll; duck low!
The Canadian dropped TO the ground
Stewart instantly sized up the situation
and tossed the ball to the first base
man, who touched .he baserurner and
three were out. We had got our owl
back. Stewart and | could have both
kissed the rube first baseman OF ours
Right then and there we put him in a
class with Hal Chase.
Up TO the fourth inning neither side
scored. Stewart was pitching in fine
form. The Canadians just couldn't
connect with his delivery All they were
doing was flaming the air. The Cana
dian rooters commenced to get fright.
ened because they saw their money dis
appearing into the Tommies' pockets
They had the greatest contempt for tn
rest of the team, myself included. but
realized that il Stewart did not weaken
II would be case of their going back
to billets broke.
Then old Mr.. Jinx butted in again
and it happened.
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
The Jinx
Popped
Up Again

the jinx popped up again.
On the morning of the game with
the Canadians our cleverest lnhelder,
the first baseman, picked up an old
German hand grenade and brought 1t
TO the billet. This man was a great
souvenir collector; always hammerlng
at "dud" shells, trying to remove inc
nose-caps.
Seeing him fooling around with the
German bomb, | told him to throw II
away; that one could never trust those
things, and that ! did not want to take
any chances of losing first baseman;
but being of a naturally curious dispo-
sition, he refused to do so. Taking the
bomb out behind the billet he proceeded
to take liberties with its mechanism;
result, right hand blown off and an
other vacancy to be filled at first base
What we said about him would not be
fit for publication.
The game was scheduled for 2 o'clock,
and exactly at 1885 Mr.. Fritz plunked a
stray "fve-nine" shell into our inheld
between home and first base, making a
hole big enough for timber TO hide in.
This meant picks and shovels for all
hands to fill in the hole.
By this time large crowd of root
ers for both sides had lined them
selves along the foul lines. The COM
pliments that were waited back and
forth made the chaplain pack up and
leave before the game started.
Then the betting commenced. 1t
waxed hot and furious. ! don't be-
leve there was loose penny in the
crowd after all bets had been placed.
Stewart and tried to discourage this
betting because We knew that if we
lost we would be ostracized from that
time on. We explained to the Tom
mics that the Canadians were baseball
players, and that we were in for an
awful trimming, but they wouldn't lis
ten, saying that anybody who could
make ball curve in the air the way
Stewart could was enough to win for
any team, and that all the Canadians
would strike out. We insisted no fur
ther.
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09

can boy is thinking
o. upon the arrival Of spring-basebsll.
Il turned my eyes to the muddy para
dos (rear wall Of the trench) and fixed
my gaze on a fragment of German she'll
Embedded in the mud. Pretty soon this
fragment seemed TO change into base
ball player, with mask, protector and
catcher's mitt. He was crouching be-
hind the home plate and signalling to
the pitcher. just then Stewart said:
"Say, Emp, ! wonder if yeF could teach
the Tommies how to play BASEBALL
Immediately turned in his direction.
He was also staring at that fragment
cf she'll
I answered: "Did you ever try to
teach a Chinaman how to speak
French"
he got it right away and detected
look spread over his countenance, and
he let out a long-drawn sigh.
A Tommy sitting on my right butted
in with: did you sye byseball, Ysnk?
Why, I saw a gyme in London, and it
is absurdly easy to plye, but l cawn't
sye fawncy hit"
With q look Of disgust Stewart turned
20 ne and said: 81 guess you're right,
Emp, il would be easier TO teach the
Cbinaman French"
That night We were relieved and went
behind the lines
The next afternoon, after parade, we
we're sitting in an orchard drinking
tea. About a month before Stewart
and had taught the Tommies how to
pitch horseshoes, There was great
rivalry among the different squads,
each squad having-s team.
Just then Corporal Watkins came
over to us and asked, "Where are the
'orse shoes, ! cawn't find EN-"
Another Tommy answered.: "Strafe
me pink, where are your h'eyes
CawnT you bloomin' we'll see the h'ofi-
GERS usin' EN- behind that billet over
there, Blime me, they're slw'ys q
gummin' the gyme."
Sure enough, the officers were using
our horSeshoeS
Stewart, with look Of depression on
his face, turned 10 me and said. well,
here goes, Emp Steve Brodie took a
chance. so might be able TO get away
with this"
Then, turning 20 the Tommies, he
asked, 'Did any Of you blokes ever hear
n Of John McGrsw?7
y Three Of the Tommies answered
y "Yes."
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09

rious offence and means immediate
confinement. These gas helmets are
in p canvas bag, and are slung around
the left shoulder by means OF canvas
strap.
In pitching, Stewards gas helmet
bothered him greatly, and after inc
second inning he took it off. ! warned
him to be careful, because | noticed
several military police in the crowd
But Stewart would not listen. He al
ways was pig-headed.
One Of the Canadian rooters spotted
that Stewart had laid aside his helmet
and artfully. communicated this facl
10 the rest Of his teams rooters. !
noticed the rootcrs crowd around HIM
for three or four minutes, and then q
great laugh went up and they stretched
out along the foul lines.
Suddenly one fellow, getting out IN
front of the bunch, like cheer leader.
counted, zone, two. three Then up
went mighty chorus Of "Hey, stew
art, where's your gas helmet, where
your old gas bag. where's your o d gas
bag?" They kept this up and IT got
Stewards goat. | went out into inc
pitcher's box and warned him to pu'
on his gas helmet. but. still pig-head-
ed. he refused TO do so. He was IN an
awful temper.
A sergeant Of the military police was
watching the game, and, hearing the
cries Of the rooters. he walked out on
the diamond and asked Stewart where
his helmet was. BY this time Stewart
had completely lost his temper and an
swered, with sneer: where do you
think it is? sent it home for a souye
mir" The sergeant explained to MN
that it was against army orders TO Dc
without a gas helmet, and that he nae
better put it on. Stewart would no,
listen to him. and answered: well u
it's against orders, get them resclnd.
cd" The sergeant Immediately put
him under arrest and marched him OIL
the diamond.
New-York tribune., 1917-12-09
Stopped
Grounders
With Feet

Several of them had bad habit Of
stopping grounders with their feet.
especially our shortstop He would see
a hot grass-eater coming his way, then,
Snstead of using his hands, ne would
put his foot in front of il. The ball
would climb his leg and get him on the
chm or In the eye. After receiving a
pufed-up lip and beautiful black eye,
he fatty refused to play unless would
let him wear the mask. Americans.
picture shortstop wearing a catcher's
mask, and then sympathize with Stew
art and me. The shortstop was a SER
geant, and through diplomatic reasons
! gave the mask to him. At this every
infielder wanted to wear Il. Stewart
solved the problem by putting in an
other shortstop and giving me the
mask.
In England they have a game called
FOUNDERS in which you are supposed
TO hit the baserunner with the ball to
put him out. This is generally a tennis
ball and does not hurt much.
Well, those Tommies had a habit of
lamming the baseball with all their
might at the unfortunate runner.
Many an early practice was broken up
this way. because the team would lose
interest in baseball when they had a
chance to view a fight between a giver
and receiver.
After about ten days practice we had
picked two pretty fair teams and ar
ranged for a scrub game. Stewards
side won, due 10 his pitching.
Then, as is usual in baseball, things
began. to happen. A LINK" seemed to
rest on our candidates. Every time we
had TO go up the line on a working
party one or two Of the players would
get wounded or killed; in fact, being a
baseball player got to b. a perfect
Jonah, and the Tommies commenced
getting superstitious. II one of our
team happened 10 be working among
ten or twelve other company men he
was sure 10 get hit, while the other
fellows came through without a
scratch. Stewart and | also began 70
get frightened. and decided to chuck
up the whole thing before We got il
ourselves.
Then VIC went further back behind