The Washington times., 1917-03-22
EIGHT BILLIONS FED
BY HOTEL FOR FLIES
Odd Occupation of Herr School
Disclosed When He Seeks
Naturalization.
NO BENEVOLENT B0NIFACE
He JoIIies His Patrons Along
Only to Kill EN- for
Science.
NO BENEVOLENT BoNIFAcE

NEW YORK, March 22.-Obviously
1t might be pardonable in any of us
to conclude that a man named School
would be a terror to flies. Yet that
assumption would be a serious mis-
take in the case of Charles ottarman
School, formerly of Germany. Flies
are his tenderest care.
His occupation is to feed flies and
he is paid for 1t. He keeps a fly
boarding house in the Rockefeller In
stitute, and even now in the off sea-
son for flies at Northern resorts, his
guests number about S,000,000,000.
He not only feeds them, but it is
scientific nourishment he gives and
assiduously he tends, nutures, even
nurses them. He even joins in their
sports.
Home For Young and Aged.
Sprawling baby flies have grown
to sturdy young gentlemen and lis
some lady flies under his care. Poor
old flies, some actually as venerable
as thirty-six hours, totteringly alight
in his Retreat for the Aged and
WIngbroken.
This information about Mr.. School
came out when he applied for his
first citizenship papers. He is a
chemist and etSmologist. When he
wrote, among his many titles, "exper-
imentor with erothira flies" the clerk
puzzled hard and finally said:
II don't get 1T exactly. What do
you do?"
No Joke to Him.
at is simple" said Herr school, 81
am a fly feeder"
Taking out your citizen papers is
q serious matter" said the clerk, in
dignantly.
Most serious am land sincere"
said Herr School hotly. 1.-The thing
said. am-hy-feeder. Rockefeller
Institute fiy-feeder. Scientific fly
feeder"
"ohT said the clerk, intelligently.
"Also 1 play with them"
Hey" commanded the clerk
That's about enough of that kid"
play with them"
Confirms the Story.
And this Herr School confirmed
when a reporter saw him in his homie
He not only conducts at the Rookie
Teller Institute a hotel for flies, but a
sort Of sanitarium for bugs. He
houses some of the most socially
prominent flies known. Among his
present registered guests are the S.
Tomoxys Calcitrans, Nine. Calliphora
Erythrocephala, and all the little
throssies who are of the most aristo-
cratic blue-bottled ancestry; Mile.
Phormia Terraenova, Mr.. Lucflius
Caesar and the Tsetses of South
Africa The Musca Domesticas are
highly indignant at being shunted to
the annexes of the Hotel de Fly 10
make room for the Erothira family,
whose holdings are enormous in the
banana plantations of Cuba and South
America
Barred From the World.
The Erothiras are heavy sweIls,
and so great is the secrecy thrown
about them and the purpose of their
visit by the scientists and manage
ment of the Rockefeller Institute
that when a reporter inquired there
for an interview with them and Herr
School. it was fatty denied him.
All inquiries as to how, what, and
when Herr School fed them were
treated as impertinences.
NOn-CIad Censorship.
Nor was the school permitted to
tell Of their favorite sports and what
could always be depended upon to
make any fly laugh aloud. or course,
the Door deluded flies do not know
that they are just being fed up and
jolIied, so that scientists may study
their habits and constitutions and
find out the best wholesale methods
of numbering them. Hence naturally, |
he 10 oh
Of their finding out their true situa-
tion, fly papers being strictly barred
by Herr School and the professors.
Eat From Platinum Dishes.
But the reporter learned that the
fies' main diet consists of dainty, |
microscopic concoctions of saline So
lutions. and that their dinner service |
surpasses the gold dishes of royalty, |
for they are fed from platinum discs. |
Like some other aristocrats, they live |
in glass houses. The reporter came |
upon a fugitive csddie fly. who was |
bitter. He said the guests wereSa |
cheap gang, bum on golf and weak |
on tips.
A Regular Menu.
The reporter having gone into a |
little restaurant near Avenue b for |
a sandwich, there was no difficulty /
in cupping up a fat, regular fly who .
turned out to be Prof. Musca, head |
of the Fly Bureau of the Life Exten-
sion Institute.
He said he had no use for the fol de |
rolls fed at the Rockefeller Institute,
and submitted an inexpensive break
fast, luncheon, and dinner menu Of /
good, reliable foods, inexpensive, yet |
At to put pep" in any honest, hard
working house-fy.