davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

weight, thin pale cheeks, and that wearf.
ness Of muscle and nerve that Is generally
experienced by all sufferers with poisoned
blood.
Get a bottle Of s. S. S. at any drug
store, and in few days you will not only
feel bright, and energetic, but you Will be
the picture Of new life.
s. S. S. is prepared only in the labora.
tory Of the Swifr Specific Co.. 221 Swift
Bldg, Atlanta Ga. who maintain a very
efhcieRt Medical Department, where all who
have any blood disorder Of a stubborn
nature may write freely for advice.
5. 5. s. Is sold everywhere by all drug
stores.
Beware Of all attempts to sell you some.
thing Just as good" Insist upon S. s. 8.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Don't you dislike man who as
sumes to know more than his official
associates?" asked one statesman.
Yes" replied the other. "Particu-
larly II he makes good"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16
A Sure Revenge.

Wife-Do you like this pudding,
dear? Mrs. McBryde gave me the re-
pipe for 1t.
Hub-No; but l guess you can get
square with her by giving her your
recipe for mince pies.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16
Oroarlxed Charity,

That's funny sort of interpreter
you have here, He never says
word"
Hes poor deaf and dumb man we
are trying to help. Everyone must
live, you know.--Journal Amusant
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

"Ho everyone that thirsteth,"
Is advice nobody takes,
Just step inside a thirst shop
And you'll find 1t full of rakes!
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Wlfe-l would like to see a time
when there was nothing to do.
Hub-Well, II there was III be
hanged II you'd do it.-Boston Trans.
cript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Jack-Brldget, did my wife Just
come in?
Brldget-No, sir That's the parrot
you hear a.hollerlng g,--Judge,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Those suRfragertas are successful in
snms things One IVES good shot
ind plugged the kings hat with a
bundle Of LitaraIura, 1t wasn't light
raadIus
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16
YOUTtifLENE

1t will do all the name implies. AGENTS
WANTED. Men and women to intro
duce Youthelene products to consumers.
Big money. Write for offer. Schwinge
Bros, 229 Madison St., Portland, Or.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Suffragette aides were ducked in
London. No wonder, after the way
royalty has been ducking the suffra-
gettes.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16
Putnam Fadeless Dyes guaran-
tee satisfaction.

The man who goes to sleep in
church was scored by a minister No
excuse for him with SO many shady
parks all around.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Teacher-Where is Chile?
BERTHE (venturing a guess)-I-I-I
think 1t is In the arctic circle.-Tit
Bits,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16
Another great calamity.
And serious at that,
With the season now half over,
We must buy a new straw hat.

Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills put
the stomach in good condition in a
short time. Try them for Sick Stom-
lch, Biliousness and Indigestion. Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

According to the weather man those
rare days in June this year were just
a trifle rarer than ordinary.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

The Niohi NiGhi q japanese news
gBpar, is violent toward Urtls Sanuel
But Ihsn hen probably only scratch
III NIg1i Nilhi Httsak.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Modern Woodmen will get,lower in
surance rates. You would naturally
expect them to use the AK.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Sometimes an accident happens just
as an aviator is leaving the earth and
often it doesn't stop him from leaving
It
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

A 10000 acre vanilla plantation Is
planned for the island of Tahiti.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Student-How do you pronounce it,
professor, "maxixe" or "macheech"?
Old Observation-Disclosures, sir. l pro-
bounce it rank foolishness and waste
of time.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Residents OF two Ohio villages re.
Gently killed $4,000 rats in a month.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

A policeman arrested a skeleton,
but there were no bones in it for him.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

AS yet the aeroplane joyriders have
not made their appearance, but some
night they'll break into that Parkwa-
ter hangar.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

A milkman in Paris shot a million
aire because he said the latter started
a creamery and took the cream of
his business.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

The way of the joyrider is hard On
the man whose car they steal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

must be answered by office help trained
to execute the command promptly.
BY placing yourself under the guild
ance Of our expert teachers, you can be
trained in all departments of office
work ready to respond to the man
sger'S call instantly. Write for GAIA
iog today. A position guaranteed.
BEUTEL BUSINESS COLLEGE
Tacoma, Washington.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

These soundproof pianola and
phonograph rooms are great idea,
but fame awaits the man who builds
a soundproof garage.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

Spring fever has nothing at all on
the vacation bacillus as promoter of
lassitude.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

He bought cannon cracker,
Filled with dynamite;
He looked to see if it was out
!!! /; ~! Good night
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-03-16

The language of the flowers must
be dead one to the child who makes
SIG of paper for 10 cents.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13
Killed by Brothers Gun.

Edgefield, Dec. 6.-Tuesday after
noon. Sallie, the five year old daugh-
ter of Mr.. w. S. Culbreath, OF the
Rehoboth section of this county, was
accidentally shot and killed. A bro
ther of the little girl had been hunt
ing. and on returning home placed
his gun in a corner of the hall. While
playing hide and seek one OF his
children ran against the gun, and 1t
was thrown to the floor, causing 1t
70 discharge, the entire load enter
ine the breast of the child just below
tho heart. 1t had always been the
nractice of the boy on returning from
a hunt to unload the gun before plac-
ing it in the house, but on this oc-
casion, unfortunately, he neglected
to do so.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13
25 Planes Raid London.

London, Dec. 6.-Seven persons
were killed and twenty-one injured
in the air raid, Chancellor Bonar
Law announced today in the house OF
commons. OF the victims three were
killed and ten injured in London.
After several weeks of respite Lon
don in the early hours of this morn
ing experienced another German raid,
one of the most determined, but the
most futile, yet attempted. The first
warnings we're received shortly after
1890 a. M, when a group OF Gotnas
crossed the coast of Kent. Apparent
" they intended to make for Lon
don, but after dropping bombs along
the coast they made off seaward
again.
About two hours later warnings
we're given again when another group
Of raiders started up the Thames
but like their predecessors, after n.y.
ing over Kent, they returned the
way they came.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13
This Man His Own Grandfather.

l married widow who had a
daughter. My father visited our
house frequently, fell in love and
married my step-daughter. Thus my
father became my son-in-law and my
step-daughter my mother, because
she was my fathers wife. My STEP
daughter also had a son; he was, of
course, my brother and at the same
time my grandchild, for he was the
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13

the same time, and as the husband
of a persons grandmother is his
grandfather, I am my own grand
father.-EXchange
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13
plies Cured In E to II Days

vour druggist will refund money PAZo
OINTMENT fails to cure any case OF !tch1ng'
Hind Bleeding or rProtruding Piles In 6to 14days.
The frst application gives Ease and Rest soc'
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13

son of my daughter. My wife was
ny grandmother, because she was
my mothers mother. was my
wife's husband and grandchild at
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1917-12-13

Read The Herald, $3.50 a year.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
LOCAL SCHOOLS WILL
TRAIN RADIO OPERATORS
Director NTaEcc. of Department of In
dustrinl Education, TO Aid the
GoNernmcnt in Crisis.

The United States government is con-
fronted with grave difficulty in Sc
curing sufficient number of radio and
huZzer operators. II is estimated that
-at least 1900 are needed at once.
In order TO assist in this work. the
Federal Board for Vocational Educa-
ton has undertaken TO find out which
schools n the country are willing to
ole" such courses as will help the gov
eminent il the various cases OF emer-
geucy that may arise. The first effort
Is directed toward the training OF ra-
do and buzzer operators The Rich
moud school authorities were among
the first 10 offer 10 cooperate. and a
course Of instruction for the training
- nu%Zcg operators is to hc inaUGu-
rated Monday night at the Vocational!
Night school. sos East Marshall Street,
Twenty-Five men have already enrolled.
IN" plan !s 20 offer Intensive train
ine 10 mon who may be called in the
next two drafts in order that they may
he trained before being sent 10 camp.
Tho government desires that the mon
reach sc standard OF being able 10 send
aud rooolN. twenty words u minute.
when they viii hc given Il certificate.
When this certificate Is presented 10
tn" proper authorities at the camp the
applicant VIII be placed where his
training viii be OF the most benefit to
'he government /: I. member Of Tia.
class is compelled 10 leave b"ior. be-
ing able - reach the standard set by
tine government he will hc given a
statement indicating jus; how fast he
aau send aud receive.
IL BE- estimated tina, 900 hours will
be sufficient for the average man TO
reach the STANDARD, ANA some viii do
$50 i'm shorter time III order that
'ho men may be given every cppor-
unity 10 qualify ~ tho earliest pos
sr!o moment, INSTRUCTION w!ll bc Of
fercd five nights per week and no ma n
allowed to cutc" tn" class who cam
nu, attend al least three nights. The
equipment Will he open for practice
work practically all the ,iue.
Thsr" b. 10 charge Tor Instruction.
and "uy 'nau suffice, 10 tho draft il
eligible 10 enroll II is an excellent
opportunity for those who like signal
corps wor'. 20 secure Il certain amount
Of gcG training frco OF charge be-
fore going - camp. Any man eligible
20 ill= class may secure additional in
formation or enroll ~ consulting VI.
a. MaG"e. director of vocational cduca
'.cIa 800 Eas' Marshall Street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
MISS M. T. FIELDS HURT
IN AUTOMOBILE COLLISION
Cars Crash Ucad-On an Cary stree,
Road just BryOnd tho city
Limits.

As "A result Of a crashing automobile"
collision on the Cary Street Road. about
three blocks beyond the city limits.
Miss NJ I. Fields. who is living ia
this city with Mrs. &. II. Green. at
III West Grace street. is in tho stuart
circle Hospital in an unconscious con.
ditiun.
At . o'clock. when the accident oc-
CURED. Miss Yields was picked Up and
this morning she was still unconscious.
and all indications are that her con-
diti0n is very prccariouS.
Th" accident occurred between Two
autom obilcS driven by G. f. B,lnton,
who is an employee iii tho firm @! t..
y. Saindcrs''S Sous Company. and W.
NJ. Wash. who lives on Il. j.. D. route
No. $, across the road from the Ma
sonic Home. Tho automobile driven
10y ii!anton was coming 10 the city.
aud with him was Miss Fields. Wash
was driving an automobile going vcSt
ana had in his automobile another ;.ian
and two women.
From all Information gathered by
Detective Gordon Smith, who was OF,
me scene immediately after the mis-
nap 70 investigate the accident. Wash
was going vest and was driving ainnc
al an easy gait directly behind a buggy.
II Is said that he attempted to Win
around the buggy and turn off j. -
road going nortn. III making ;his
rather SHARP turn he ran hcad-o,i into
Mr.. Bianton. Miss Fields. who lives 81
I"unt Vernon Springs, nea" Peters
burg was in the car with Blanton aud
WAS the only person i'm either car wliI
was badly hurt. although the other.
were baSiy shaken UP ~ the collision
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
MONEY GIVEN TO FUND
PURCHASES TOBACCO ONLY
Expenses necessary to Work Arc Con-
tributcd to Organization With
out Cost.

Every cent contributed through The
Times dispatch 20 "Our Boys in France
Tobacco Fund" is spent for tobacco.
Al labor. freight. postage, literature,
publicity and other necessary Incl
dcntals are furnished without cost to
the organization. so that the -tmcri-
can lighting men are not deprived Of an
ounce OF weed which the people at
home have bought for their pleasure
and comfort.
Therefore, when you send in 81 YOU
may rest assured that it will buy four
packages. containing cigarettes. smok-
ing and chewing tobacco and cigarette
papers, each package being sufficient to
last 4 soldier or sailor for one week.
Nothing is in greater demand among
the boys in uniform than the good old
Nircinia weed. OF course, YOU are not
going to forget that Christmas box
Tor your boy at the front, but don't
forget that he also wants tobacco as
we'll for his less fortunate comradc in
arms who has left no one 1t home TO
send him a box of goodies and com
forts.
When you understand the comfort
you Will be providing for some moth
er's son who has given UP his all. YOU
won't fail to send in your dollar to
help him drive away the monotony and
gloom while in the service or his ma
lion in a foreign land.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
MAY CONTINUE TO ENLIST
IN NAVY OR MARINE. CORPS

Even after December IL registrants
may continue to enlist in the navy OF
in the marine corps, but not in the
army. upon presentation 10 the re-
cruting officer of IL certificate from the
local board TO show that his class and
order number are so low that he is no.,
within the current quota OF his local
board.
Men who registered under the selec-
tive service act on June =. 1917, and
y ho have since changed their places or
abode or post offices, Will save them
selves a great deal of Inconvenience.
and possibly serious trouble. II they
at once notify. in writing. their loca!
boards OF such change in address. ON
December II local boards Will begin
10 mail out the new QucStionaircS, and.
in order tina; they may he received
without delay 1t is essential that the
boards with which the men are regis
tered have their correct addresses.
1t is incumbent upon all registrants
TO keep themselves posted on all pro-
ccedinGs affecting tho draft. and fail
suit in the forfeiture of their right to
CLAIM exemption or discharge. Fail
urc TO receive 1t QUESTIONABLE will not
relieve .. man Of his obligation, and, If
hc does not obtain one. fill it in and
return to his local board lie is likely
to find himself placed in Class ! and
indicted into military service at once
If such should occur. and he is not
aware that ne has been called and
ordered TO report to a camp and he
fails l. res pond through this ignor-
area. ~" VIII find himself sought AS :,
d.serter.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
SUFFRAGE LEAGUE NAMES
DELEGATES TO WASHINGTON
Ncil-known Virginia Women TO At
tend National Convention-Mrs.
MCCIunS speaks Hero.

Mrs. Nellie McClunE, OF Canada. who
VII! speak al the jefferson Auditorium
tomorrow evening under the auspices
OF the Ecd Cross auxiliary OF the Equal
suffrage League Of Richmond. is TO be
one OF The speakers on the program
OF the forty-ninth annual convention
81 the National American Woman SUI
rage Association which Will he held a (,
tho Poll Theatcr. Washington, Dcccin-
Der l2-lG, inclusive.
The Richmond league feels particu-
larry fortunate in securing this speak kerr
OF international famc-Mrs. Nellie Nc
'lunG. who Will tell OF the war work
OF the voting women OF Canada
Scrcnty-cight Virginia women will
80 TO Washington next week as dele
gates from the Equal Suffrage League
81 Ni'?inia 10 the national conycn-
ton and among other details viii
max. report OF AN increase Of 1000
members ~ the year just closing This
gam Is said TO be the natural outcome
Q: progress. and is not due to any
concerted effort for Increased member
snap. the energies OF all surragists
haNiHE been concentrated upon all
forms Of war service
The personnel OF the Virginia dele
CATION is AS follows:
De!cgates-Mrs. George Richardson
Marion; Miss Lucinda Terry MrS. T. w.
Goodwin. Mrs. j. *. Graham Mrs
Frederick TiCc, and Mrs John NJ Miles
Roanoke: Mrs. j. H. Whitner. Roanoke
county, Mrs. John II. Lewis, Mrs
ii"n'y Mcdowell, and Mrs. Charles X.
smith, I.ynchnurS; Mrs. Goodwin VIII
lams, herrEvIl!s: Dr. Ka:e Waller
Barrett. Alexandria; Mrs George
Iarke Mrs. g. 9. Coupcr. Mrs. l.. G.
Mathews, Mrs. \. c. Dillingham; and
Mfs. Louise collier WilicoX. Norfolk
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
WAR SAVINGS STAMPS
MAY Be BOUGHT TO-DAY
Great Thrift Campaign, TO Continue
st. One Year. Gets Tn
-.sss. der Way.
DIRECTOR MADAMs RETURNS
Hcad Of Virginia Work Is Back
From Washington, Where He Held
Conference With National Com
mittee Officials.

War savings stamps will go on sale
to-day at the Richmond post oaice, AZ
We'll as every other post-oiiice in the
United States, and they may also be
obtained at banks, trust conlpanies.
railroad and express offices. depart
ment stores and numerous other aSen-
Giles which will he designated by tile
Treasury Department.
For a drive of twelve months, this
great campaign will set under way
throughout the country and the gov
erpment looks to every individual, rich
and poor. white and colored. 10 respond
to the call TO invest in war saving
stamps. No individual will be allowed
to purchase more than 500 worth OF
stamps at one time, and no one VIII
he permitted 10 own more than $1,000
worth. Thus It will be seen that IN
order TO reach the goal Of S2.0oU.GoO,-
600 fixed by the National War Savings
Committee it is going to be necessary
for every man, woman and child 20
get behind Uncle Sam and start with
out delay in buying war savings
stamps.
Colonel Thomas e. McAdams. direc-
tor in charge OF the campaign in Nir
ginia. returned to Richmond ycster-
day from Washington where he WAS
in conference with Secretary OF the
Treasury McAdoo and Frank y. VAN
derlip, chairman OF the National War
Savings Committee. According to d.
rector McAdams officials throughout
tho country have been fevcrishly at
work In order to have everything in
shape for the launching of the drive.
which will likely so down III history
as the great thrift campaign.
HOW ONE MAY OBTAIN
THRIFT CARD For St.1:
Thrift stamps. designed for the con-
venience of those people VINO cannot
invest at one time the sum OF S4.lc
in war savings stamps, Viii also be
available to the pubic to-day at IN"
same places where war savings stamps
may be bought. Each buyer OF thrift
stamp will be presented with thrift
card, 10 be filled with thrift stamps
and exchanged. when IL shows an in
vestment of 81. for a war savings
stamp. To the 81, however. the inNes-
tor must add, during this month and
January and one additions! cent for
each month thereafter, the sum OF -
cents. In return he will receive war
war savings stamp OF the value OF So,
redeemable by the United States Treas
ury on January !, 1928.
All war savings stamps bought dur
ing December vii! he sold ana dated
as OF January !.
A. an Investment; the war savings
stamps are regarded IL financial CIR
cles as being without superior. Under
United States law they compose Sc
curitie. the value OF which mus: en-
nance month by month there is no
chance whatsoever OF their decrease
in value To the investor their yield
is 4 per cen: per anau!n. compound
quarterly.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
NINETEEN MORE DAYS
Christmas shoppers In Evidence on
Brond street In Increasing
Numbers

There are only nineteen more shop
ping days before Christmas Saturday
~ Was noticed that the shoppers were
tlIcf"r on Broad Street than they
h"d h""n for weeks. No doubt they
W"r" doing some Of their Chris,,nas
hh"ppin#; but il seems that this year.
40 I"nhl. the mass Of people are wait
uG TN the day gets here bcfor.. they
hi" The presents for treir friends.
ans means that every day from this
ono on till the merry 18th the traffic
on thc streets will be heavier and the
chHscftion more disadvantageous to
summers. Many people are uttcrinC
th' moral shop carly and avoid the
'Nf". ~ begins to appear that. In
tnii" pf the war. Christmas shopping
Nl'I 20 ON as usual. auG that tiier.,
~ d great big chance to get left" IL
b""pi" don't get busy with their shop
irI now.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-03
OPPORTUNITY IS GIVEN
REC|sTRANTS TO ENLIST
Army Will Be Closed to Volunteers
i1iatle to Call After Dc
CcHIbcr 10.
DEFINITE RULES ANNOUNCED
Navy and Marine Corps Still Open
to Registered Men if Not Actually
Needed to Complete Quotas of hi.
visions Under Selectiye Draft.

opportunity, as wide as circum-
stances will permit, will he afforded to
registrants 10 enlist in the army and
navy between now and December l..
when the new selcctive service rcuula-
lions go INTO effect. according to an
nouncement made yesterday at the
office of Governor Stuart, based upon a
ruling just received from the provost
marshal general. Any registrant. even
though called by his local board to re-
port for physical examination. may en-
list until December Is upon presents
ton to the recruiting officer OF Il Ger
tiiicatc from his local board stating
that he Will not be needed to ill any
deferred percentage of the quota OF the
board.
Local boards. however. are warned TO
keep in mind that, regardless f the
rc-cNamination Of reg istrants under
the new regulations. each board should
keep available and should refuse par
mission to enlist TO sufficient num-
Der of selected men to complete de-
ferrcd percentages of their quota
caused by physical reflections at camp.
Every rcSiStrant who, under the old
regulations covering the first draft has
been examined, selected and notified of
his selection on the Old form, No. l4GD.
prior t" noon December 10. shall re-
main liable to be indicted immediately
into the military service in the order
of his liability as heretofore fixed by
his order number, unless and until.
upon any call upon his local board FOR
men. it shall appear that there is in
class | 4 sufficient number OF men
to till such call, Notwithstanding such
rcSistrant may have subsequently been
examined and classified under the new
regulations and placed In Il deferred
class.