The Washington herald., 1917-07-14
"Good Morning
Judge''
Money worries Us Too, Charlie.

qulred money II suppeQ through MS
fingers. And Charlie determined that
the next bunch of money he saw he
would pounce on 1t before it had a
chance to escape. He found SIS be-
longing to Morris Sisselman the other
day and was SO rude as to forget 10
leave his card. That s25 caused quite
a little worry to its owner and he
went gum-shoeing around for It.
Charlie looked so guilty that he was
''pinchedI' At FIRST Charlie wanted to
see what a tender-hearted jury
thought about his fight with the high
cost Of living. but later changed his
mind when Il occurred to him that
these gentlemen have troubles OF their
own and he decided to let Judge Pugh
send him down for sixty days where
he will ha e q secretary to handle all
the cash for him and save him the
trouble of even drawing check.
Drat Them Cops!
Recently the police department has
taken all the pleasure out of life by
breaking up crap games. Anyhow, it
has a choice collection of bones" I"
much to the chagrin of certain
parties.
Thursday evening Clarence Greene
and some friends, sheltered behind a
wall in Browns Court, engaged in a
game Of craps. Clarence is something
like = 100-year-old elephant. When
he stoops his bones get stiff and he
gets up only with difficulty. When a
cop vaulted over the wall every one
scooted but Clarence and he was es-
corted to the police station. Forty
one new pennies were left on the
ground. Clarence left ave hundred
more pennies in Police Court as q
fine. He cursed his infrmity.
THAT. srstitude.,
Jim Brown. that's him, has found
out that being impolite is q bad propo-
s1tion. 1t Is not against the law to
be out Of job. no. against the law
to seek assistance. Tim was pam
handling along the street Thursday
and once in . while some one would
take mercy on him and slip him some
thing. Those who did not were con-
signed to q very bad place. Jim found
that with a little practice he could
outcuss an oyster fisherman anu
passersby objected. A policeman rode
up TO him just rs he had filled the air
with his own special brand OF cuss
words and told him to be quiet.
But he continued and was placed
under arrest. The court sent him
down for ninety days to get the
profanity out Of his system.
Just Wait Till November!
For some time Andrew ViehI has
had visions. They originally came
out OF a pint bottle and settled in
Andrews head. He couldn't sleep for
fear some German would put
dynamite in his bed. He couldn't eat
for fear some other German would
put ground glass in his food. He was
afraid to look at a woman for fear
she would De a spy in disguise. His
neighbors humored him but soon got
tired of sitting by his bed at night
with a shotgun to protect him. He
worried so much that he grew thin.
Then friends caused his arrest. The
court sent him down for thirty days
where ne will have all the protection
needed.
Poor, Gentle Naomi.
Capitola Dade and Naomi Brooks
had some words the other day in
the alley where Capitola lives. They
were not Sunday school words, but
just plain, catty cuss words. It was
about man, as usual, said man be-
ing Naoim's better half. Naomrs
motto was, when words fail, use a
stick" A scrap between two women
in an alley is a signal for a free-for-
all fight. as everybody else under
stands that they are invited, Just as
at an Irish picnic.
No nriptad ipVit atiopa ara 1Sad II
being the custom not to use any, as
paper is too high. Very soon the
whole regiment was fighting, and
Capitola sought refuge with mamma.
She got to the station house first
and swore out warrant for Naomi.
Naomi swore she was innocent and
was a perfect lady, but the court
failed to see any feathers cropping
out on her shoulders and fined her SO.
1t Wasn't His Face, KID.
A little masquerade party cost
Bob Russell, alias Clark, IS bill in
Police Court yesterday morning. Bob
and diked himself out in wom-
ans clothes. He wouldn't have
been discovered # he had kept out Of
the park at Sixth street, where GER
tain of the male sex have habit Of
flirting with girls. Some one fiirted
with Bob, and the sensation was de-
lightful. It wasn't long, however, be-
fore the flirting party got suspicious,
as Bob had in his excitement forgot
ten TO shave. A policeman was sum-
rnoned. Bob was brought into court
in the same costume he had worn in