The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1917-01-29
A Bridal
Commission
BY JOHN KEENAN,

happy, though, and / asked her why
she looked so melancholy-like
'I'l tell you, Mr.. Grimshaw." she said.
did you ever hear the song, No One
| to Love, None to Caressr Well, that's
| the way l feel. Father ever since
/ mothers death has been restless and
cross, and now he's goin' to give me
a stepmother haven't any brothers
or sisters to love, and I'm goin' to have
a stepmother to hate
"Why, Amelia" says l, "the thing for
you to do is to get married"
"How can l do that with nobody to
marry me-" she asked, awful sad.
How you TALK says |. You know
mighty well there's lots of fellers that
would be glad to git YOU"
I'D like to know where they are. If
you know any SIGH / wish you'd send
EN- around
"Sartain. I'll git you husband in
no time. Air you particular about his
bein' good lookin or havin' a farm OF
his own or anything like that?"
4Nb, all ithSAhas
won't be If you can fix me out before
paw brings that red headed wilder into
the house, cause know I've got to git
out when she comes IN"
"How much time is there?"
"Well, heard paw say the other day
that he calculated TO be married before
the end o. next month"
"Supposin' / send you n Teller that
suits You and you suit him, what Is
there In it for me?'
Il don't see what / can do for you,
Mr. Grimshaw, seem that l haven't
got cent in the world, and there isn't
any favor | know of that l can do
you. But / suppose'-looking down at
the foor-"havin' made the match.
you'd be entitled to kiss the bride"
This bothered me lot. | was to
fix up match by which another Teller
was to git all the kisses he wanted for
a lifetime, and l was to git one kiss
on the weddn' day.
1T seems to me. Amelia" l says,
that's like sellin' a man a house
wo'th a lot O. money for commission.
He gifts whole house, and the broker
gifts few dollars"
you forgit," said Amelia, that the
broker don't want oil the houses he
sells. What would he do with 'em?
Besides, when a man buys house 1t
argys that he's able to own a house
and wants house, and wants that
particular house. l don't see that the
broker earns anything more than his
commission. Do your"
81 don't see as he does" says l..
scratchin' my head. And l didn't.
Howsomever, l couldn't git 1t out o
my noddle that l was goin' to git the
little end o the bargain. But ! felt
sorry for Amelia powerful sorry, for
I'd had stepmother myself.
as it customary" says l, ito pay
commission before the transactions
completedf'
Not at ALL said Amelia. 'aThat
wouldn't do"
"Why not?"
well, the broker. havin' got his pay
wouldn't take any pains in the mat
ter"
IF he didn't do his work he might
return what he'd received"
''In that case he'd git double pay for
nothin-that is. If his commission was
a kiss"
isn't there somepin among business
men like payin' part down, the rest
when the deal has gone through"
That's got nothin' to do with bro
kers; it's when you buy piece of
property Yourself"
"Well," says, givin' 1t up, 81 reckon
I'll have to wait for my pay till I've
done the job"
| got up and was goin' out when
Amelia said:
'How soon are you goin' to send a
feller?"
Il dunno. Somehow don't like the
lions share"
We'll Mr.. Grimshaw, since you look
at 1t that way | don't know but
ought to make II more to your interest
to do the job. | might double the
commission, one-half payable In ad-
vance"
Now you're shoutin'," l said. and
instead of goin' away sat down ag'in
and TUX the first half o. my commits
sion. 1t tasted so good that began
right Off to banker for the other half
of my pay.
Amelia" l says, you couldn't pay
1t all I'm advance, could your"
"Sartain not. What would there be
to hold yoI to your work.
thort awhile, and then I said:
"Supposin' make the deal for my
self"
What do you mean by that?"
Il mean supposin' I jist take the
other Teller by the nape o. the neck
and put him out. Then, instead o.
actin as his broker. acquire the prop
erty In my own name"
Land sakes. Mr.. Grimshaww
That was all the talkin' we dona