The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1917-10-26
Little Problems
@cMarried Life
By
WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN
(Oopyright)
THROWING OVERHEARD THE OLD
FRIENDS.

In that famous journey of, Jonah the
prophet, from Joppa to Tarshish, near
ly three thousand years ago, when the
wind and the tempest rose, and the
great waves washing over the little
craft threatened to submerge 1t, they
threw Jonah overheard that the light
ened ship might ride easier in waters
smOothed into peace and tranquility.
In this twentieth century, the old time
friends of the husband are often SIM
ilarly cast overheard from the ship of
matrimony the" its burden may be
lightened and ,,e waves of home dis
cord may be stilled.
The direct primitive simplicity of
the Jonah incident is rarely followed
today. 1t is usually accomplished by
tact and tactics, by seeming innocent
comments and criticisms, by delicate
diplomacy, by placing the friend in an
exposed position which makes it seem
that he merely fell overheard. 1t is
the final result of gentle, gradual
pushes instead of one bold, fearless
toss.
When a girl marries she does not
feel that the curtain has been rung
down on the nearest and best in her
old life. Her girl friends do not give
her up for lost and feel that she has
passed forever out Of their love, SYM
pathy, regard and companionship. Her
life has but broadened; they will visit
her and she them as of old they will
take interest in her new world and
she will retain as best as she can the
threads of the old relationships.
The husband usually is honestly glad
that her days alone may be frightened
a little by these friends, that she is
getting out of life all the happiness
that she can. OF course he, has very
little appreciation of her old admir-
ers; her fervor of approval of their
good points seems to be more senti-
mental than judicial; he cannot Inn
agine what she can possibly have ever
seen in A, or B, or the others down
the alphabet of her men friends. Wild
enthusiasm over them is hardly to be
except when they camp around the
house at all hours and make it impos-
sible for him to have quiet talk alone
with her, he is usually cOmplaisantly
tolerant if not cordially encouraging.
He does not always receive similar
courtesy and consideration.
When q man marries, even his
truest, wOrthiest and best friends,
those who have been close to him, who
have been his confidants, his chums
and his comrades, feel with sadness
that it has now come to the parting of
the ways. They bid him goodbye, in
spirit if not in words, as though he
were going to some island in the
South seas and they might never see
him again. 1t is not the natural drift
ing apart that comes from his absorp-
ton in his home, with new duties and
responsibilities that they fear; it is
that they will be disqualified by his
wife-and that her secret influence
will be turned against them. OF course
they do not think she is just the One
they would have picked out for him.
for a man rarely does approve of his
friends wife as quite good enough for
him, but they are willing to be mag
unanimous, and let loyalty and charity
wipe away prejudice, and even believe
that she is the wonder her husband
declares.
If she be wise, for her own sake
and that of her husband, she will try
to make them her friends, too, and
guard carefully against their even be-
ing washed overheard, much less be-
ing thrown ruthlessly into a sea of
forgetfulness. If they already happen
to be her friends as well, they usually
will be admitted into the home on her
ticket and have a comfortable orches-
ira chair, but often, when it is other
wise, the husband alone can issue but
q pass emitting the bearer to stand
ing room only.
There are some wives who show a
strange jealousy In trifles. They have
a hunger for allness; they are not sat
isfied with being merely supreme, and
first and best and mest-they want to
be "only." They are not content with
being the sun Of his life; they want to
be the sun and all the consultations,
too. They want to corner his emo
tional output and control the entire
market. They often seem to consider
his affection, regard, esteem, liking
and favor as his emotional cash and
that IL he spends the least bit Of it
elsewhere it is taking just so much
from them. Their constant fear of
competition is a poor tribute to their
own powers.
When a man first tells his sweet
heart or his wife about his best friend,
in his loyalty. generous pride, and con-
f1dence that he is speaking to welcom-
ing ears, he may boom him unduly.
Soon he may become conscious in a
vague way that the audience is a bit
cool and unenthusiastic, his words do
not seem to carry over the foOtDghts
and the applause is faint and perfume
tory. When he tells of the time when
they roomed together at college and
pledged eternal friendship, it seems to
her just a bit young and sentimental.
When his voice trembles little at the
episode of the mining camp when his
friend nursed him through the fever
she says: "Never mind, dear, now you
won't need him, you have me to take
care of you"
The recital of q story of his friends
sense Of humor does not appeal to her ;
it is weighed in the balance and found
wanting. Every. good point she dis
counts in a quiet, Elusive way he feels
but cannot combat, every virtue is
shown to have some failing wrapped