The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-07-26

first thing she proceeds to protect
her canned fruit.
Suffragists will have realized a
age-old ambition when men wear kilt
and women put on overalIs.
A man takes his vacation as sooi
as he gets the money. A married wo
man takes hers when she dies.
& & z
| Mr.. Hoover urges US to "save the
fats" Certainly-if we did not, whom
would the leans play ball with.
4 z 4
Nearly every mans initials are IA
miliar to his townsmen, but nobody
knows his middle name until his
daughter gets married.
z Z 4
The present war has been likened
to a game of "Rummy" The quicker
the players ditch their kings and
queens the better off they are.
Z & 4
A real enjoyable moment for bar
Der is when some thrifty fellow tells
him about his safety razor blade that
has shaved seventeen times without
being resharpened.
4 = &
Colonel "Hetty" Green gave his
bride half million dollars in cash for
a wedding present, setting a fashion
which would prove popular with the
were it put into general prac-
ice.
And now Senator La Toilette IS Sc
ng if he can't make himself still more
by opposing the bill to pro-
ide for a great aerial fleet. Appar-
ntly Fighting Bob" proposes to do
Il his fighting with his mouth.
Don't wait for appendicitis before
aving the appendix removed" says
Chicago surgeon. Now q dentist
ught to come forward and advocate
lie extraction of healthy teeth, be-
luse they might ache some day.
A recruiting officer in town the
her day approached a young fellow
liking a COW. young man." said
e officer, "Why don't you go to the
ont 2" "There amt any milk at
at end" was the reply Of the young
How
Every night my husband dreams
'out days on his fathers farm"
id Mrs. Old Bill Misgivens. Every
ght he talks in his sleep and says
about That's boss on
u, that's boss on you. Let's shake H
ainr'" II
A negro porter had enlisted and II
Is waiting for military duty. "Are Il
u going to make will before you H
George ?" he was asked "Thare H
IT but one kind o. will Use inter- H
ted in, dat is, will | get back" was H
; reply. H
Two lawyers before a country JUS H
e recently got into wrangIe. At H
t one of the disputants, losing the
ltrol of his temper, exclaimed to II
opponent: "Jim Rogers, you are y
biggest jackass | ever set eyes -
m" The justice pounded the desk
called loudly: "Orderl Orderl .
i seem to forget that | am in the 1t
M" pc
e 4 4 yo
t the trial of man charged with NC
ault, the state brought into court er
the weapons used a rail, an AK, si'
: of tongs, saw and rifle. The pi'
counsel exhibited as the pa
n mans weapons a scythe blade, ny
tchfork, pistol and a hoe. The rul
IS verdict was Resolved, that an
the jury, would have given a dol an
10 have seen the fight" col
Or three successive nights the new ~,
proud father had walked the floor -,
the baby. On the fourth night he ~,
me desperate, and on arriving L.
e from the office unwrapped a H.
e of soothing syrup. ooh, i
es," exclaimed his wife when she -,
the label, what did you buy that e.
Don't you know it is very dam Vii
us to give child anything like tha
q? Don't worry" was the hus- sa,
S tired reply "I'm going to take
yselfl' =,
z 4 q ,.
70 Emmett men who are tall and nho
er and each of whom boasts to =
'ther that he is the thinner, at r.
ID the circus here couple of II
S ago. Before entering fhe biy II ,