The Coconino sun., 1917-11-09
IOWA MAN COMPOSES
 SATIRE ON KAISER

| Louis Syberkrop, or Cfeston, iowa, has acquired much fame in recent weeks as author of satire on Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests have come to him from Humility, Secretary Daniels, Roosevelt and people in every state of the Union and in Canada for copies of his article. It is:
 "The Internal Region,
 "June 28, 1917. "To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern, King
 of Prussia, Emperor of All Germany
 and Envoy Extraordinary of AL
 mighty God:
 "My Dear Wilhelm:
 "I can call you by that familiar name, for have always been very close to you, much closer than you could ever know.
 "From the time that you were yet an undeveloped being in your mothers womb have shaped your destiny for my own purpose.
 "In the days of Rome, created a roughneck known in history as Nero; he was a vulgar character and suited my purpose at that par ticular time. In these modern days classic demon and efficient super criminal was needed and as I know the Hohenzollern blood picked you as my special instrument to place on earth an annex to hell. l gave you abnormal ambition, likewise an oversupply of egotism, that you might not discover your own failures; I twisted your mind to that of mad man with certain normal tendencies to carry you by, a most dangerous character placed in power; l gave you the power of hypnotist and certain magnetic force that you might sway your people. l am responsible for the deformed arm that hangs helpless on your left, for your crip- pied condition embitters your life and destroys all noble impulses that might otherwise cause me anxiety, but your strong arm is driven by your ambition that suuelches all sentiment and pity; I placed in your mind deep hatred of all things English, for of all na- tions on earth I hate England most; wherever England plants her flag she brings order out of chaos and the hated Cross follows the Union Jack; under her rule wild tribes become till lers of the soil and in due time prac- tical citizens; she is the great civ ilizer of the globe and HATE HER. | planted in your soul a cruel hatred for your mother because SHE was English, and left my good friend Bis mark to fan the flame had kindled. Recent history proves how we'll our work was done. It broke your royal mothers heart, but have gained my purpose.
 "The inherited disease of the Ho- henzollerns killed your father just as lit will kill you, and you became the ruler of Germany and a tool of mine sooner than I expected.
 "To assist you and further hasten Imy work I sent you three evil spir- its, Neitzsche, Treitschke, and later Bernhardi, whose teachings inflamed the youth of Germany, who in good time would be willing and loyal sub jects and eager to spill their blood and pull your chestnuts, yours and mine; the spell has been perfect you cast your ambitious eyes toward the Mediterranean, Egypt, India and the Dardanelles and you began your great railway to Bagdad, but the ann lbitious archduke and his more ambi- tious wife stood in your way. It was then that I sowed the seed in your heart that blossomed into the assass- lination of the duke and his wife and all hell smiled when we saw how cleverly you saddled the crime on to Servia. I saw you set sail for the fjords of Norway and I knew you would prove an alibi. How cleverly done-so much like your noble grand father, who also secured an assassin to remove the old King Frederick of Denmark, and later robbed that coun- try of two provinces that gave Ger many an opportunity to become a na- val power. Murder is dirty work, Ibut it takes Hohenzollern to make a way and get by.
 "Your opportunity was at hand; you set the world on fire and bells of hell were ringing; your rape of Belgium caused much joy. It was the beginning, perfect foundation of a perfect hell on earth, the destruc- tion of noble cathedrals and other in finite works of art was hailed with Ijoy in the internal regions. You made war on friends and foe alike and the