Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1917-10-26
WONDER OF INFANT
How One Ever Lives to Grow Up
Puzzles the Married Man.
Baby Has as Many HaIrbreadth Es-
capes Every Day as Heroine in
Blood urdlIne Movie Drama.

The married man dropped on . park
bench beside his bachelor friend gasp
ing for breath and wiping the cold per-
SEPARATION from his forehead. He had
just sprinted so yards to rescue baby
from the attack of a big, vicious mon
grel which had attempted to snatch a
cracker from him. Before he had
reached the scene the baby had
cracked the dog on the nose with q
spoon and sent it bowling out of the
park.
81 never could figure out how babies
ever live to grow up" he confessed.
lighting a cigarette with hands that
still shook. 'The heroine OF The Dam
gers of Daphne and those other blood
curdling thrillers do not have more ad-
ventures to a reel than a baby has In
a day. And yet can't remember ever
having seen a really damaged baby.
'eThey can chew everything from
glassware to sofa cushions with every
sign of satisfaction and contentment.
Only rarely do they have to b@
thumped on the back or shaken upside
down. Apparently they have the d.
6N5tAOA u o GLOaG CAuSAlCk VI u CO2~
crete mixer. They seem to get more
nutriment out of bedroom slipper or
a newspaper than a regular human
being could derive from q New Eng
land boiled dinner.
"They can crawl around among a
roomful of people without ever getting
stepped on and can pull a cats tall
with impunity. / have seen a baby
climb out of high chair or crib and
fall more than its own height without
apparent inconvenience. It doesn't
matter whether 1t lands on head, back
or side. A drop of the same sort
would probably lay up an athlete for a
couple of weeks at the least.
Another thing about babies I can't
understand is that they are apparently
Spartans or else imperviOus to pain. !
have never yet seen a baby cry after
any mishap unless somebody was look
ing ut it.
'"They can run full tilt into a chair
and regard 1t as a huge joke. / have
seen baby who was tumbled over by
the front wheel of an automobile get
up chuckling and demanding more. "A
pair of twins / knew were fond of sit.
ting together on the floor to bang each
other amicably with building blocks.
"Of course II somebody picks up q
baby after 1t has banged itself and
sympathizes with 1t and rubs the hurt
part 1t begins to realize something Is
wrong and yells usually ON the chance
OF getting a graham cracker or other
delicacy.
Il am not denying that they cry q
good deal, but I am convinced that
they do it only ON the theory that II
pays to advertise. A baby Will cry In
dustriously for long periods for what
1t wants, but rarely wastes many tears
because 1t has hurt itself.
Some babies, older and more experi
enced in the ways OF the world than
others, will sneak a hasty look around
the room after they have fallen down
and bumped themselves, sum up theil
chances of getting either a bite to eat
or a reproving spank. and then either
emit heartrending cries or crawl into
seciusion under table.
AS they grow older they get more
and more into the habit of making II
known when they are hurt. When they
reach the age of fourteen or SO they
are nearly as much in need of sym
pathy as grown men who almost with
out exception roam around the world
hunting for somebody TO tell their hard.
luck story to and very frequently yell
long before they are hurt"