davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
The Radical" Plot.

Nothing could be more absurd than the allega-
tions of uprising OF the American elements of
rag-tag and bob-tal that our own domestic
version of the Bolsheviki and nothing could be
more absurd than to imagine that even quasi
intelligent anarchists could take such conspiracy
seriously
The police could handle such an uprising as
that, which would have about one-tenth the power
of Sir Roger Easements crack-brained revolt of
Sim Feiners in Dublin. If the enemy agent in
the United States could ever be brought to use
such methods as the fomenting of armed
rebellion against constituted authority, it would
be easy job to catch and crush him.
Unhappily, he looks with more favor on such
sneak methods poisoning the food of American
soldiers at cantonments, injecting infection into
Red Cross bandages blowing up munition plants
and using the poison gas" of sedtion and false
hood
1t may be that the superheated brain of some
fool underling of the Berlin foreign office
trained in the school as Herr Zimmerman
and Count Luxburg-may have conceived the
grandiose project of creating civil war in the
United States. Surely the mentalties that thought
ireland ripe for successful revolt against
England, that thought the Hindus of India would
rise en- masse when broke out and throw off
the yoke of the British tyrant, that sought to
persuade Mexico to declare war on the United
States so as to regain her lost provinces of Texas
and Arizona, are not aboYe thinking that armed
A -
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
Coordination and Confidence.

Under the arrangement whereby the railroads are
to be controlled by the government, alarm should
come to those holding stocks bonds In fact all
curtes should appreciate in value, for under Director
General McAdoo's control the elimination of much of
the overlapping of service will curail operating
Penses without materially affecting revenues.
Coordination is the greatest need of the country
this time There will be and SANDERS stories Of
graft and of theft petty ealousies and serious in
trgues there always will be in times of great stress
but these will be but squalls in the storm and the ship
of state will weather them, never fear
The people should have and must have confidence
in the governmen-and he who weakens it is traitorou
to degree This does that just criticism be
wthheldfor storm signals have their use-but il does
that this S time for building the political
chinery at the expense of the people. Too few have
sensed the importance of this conflict, and unless the
people aroused to the seriousness of the situation
future taxes may be dictated from Berlin.
The Herald is not an alarmist but it does see the
in all this apathy and in all this cocksureness
that is without substantial backing The United States
is doing big things in big way-but it is being ham
pered by the ignorance of its critics and the propaganda
of its enemies
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
NOT In UNIFORM.

They haven't no khaki nor battleship blue,
They're kind of a nondescrpt sort of crew,
Hard-handed and husky but not like you meet
On the holystoned decks of the battleship fleet,
Nope, these here is only the everyday guys
That handles the vessels what feeds the allies,
But-stop an consider bit what they mean
These lads of the merchant marinel
They sails with cargo of beef or of steel
Or T. N. 7. maybe, or bacon an meal,
An so they goes wallowin, loaded for fair,
To feed an muntion the folks "over there"
An if they gets over they sighs with relief
An comes back to take on more biscuits an beef,
An if they gets sunk-well, it's plain to be seen
That's rough on the merchant marine.
They don't get much glory for takin' chance
On dyin' while steamin to England or France,
For if they gets rescued from drownin' one trip
They just comes up smn' an finds new ship.
An if they goes down in watery grave
There isn't no half-masted flags thatll wave,
An yet they're real heroes who're doin' their bit
Not askin' no special approval for it,
An that's just the reason we otta be keen
For the boys of the merchant marinel ..
.-.- -BERToN RRALEY.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Special Correspondent Of The Washington Herald
New York, Dec. 27.-The full force
of the war has been felt along New
York's Slippery Row. which is that
section of Eighth and Tenth avenues
where all the leisure hours are spent
in tho festive sport of rushing the
can" The Jolt came right from the
White House and was aimed at the
great institution OF real democracy
"tSe sCuttle OF suds."
In tho thoroughfare made famous
by song writer's and infamous by
truck drivers it was agreed that the
order was a blow below the belt. In
the good old days with a slick ten
cent piece and a big tomato can, the
darkest life could be made to spar
kle like a diamond in Kitty Gordon's
lorgnette and throats of sandpaper
made as the falls of Niagara.
But alas! After January l. beer, the
proud stepsister OF old J. BarleycOrn.
must contain no moro than 80 per
cent alcohol.
Where once Harry sent Joe around
the corner to Mikes place for a gal
lon Culp Of amber and foam Harry
must now send a good-sized WASH
boiler for the same.
In place Of the customary dime, II
one would procure enough OF the bev-
eraCe to make any aPprcciable dent
in Harry's sorrowful outlook upon
life. -four hits"-in parlor parlancs
that's fifty cents-will he necessary.
Along Eighth and Tenth avenues
where people Of all ages can be seen
pushing the can from daylight until
midnight-the doorways are being torn
out and made larger so the tub bril-
gade may form and pass, coming in
and going out.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
Cornered the Witness.

The conversation in a Washington club turned
to the grilling that witnesses sometimes sub
ected tc, when Representative Samuel J. Nichols,
of South Carolina, said he reminded OF little
incident along that line.
Recently man in a Southern city called
to the witness stand in important criminal case,
aud herng known an artistic tippler he was int
mediatey attacked this vulnerable side by the
opposing lawyer.
"And now Mr.. Jones'" said the legal light after
the usual skirmishing, you arc a drinking man..
you not?"
THAT, sir" rctorted the witness. dignifedly
Strengthening himself in the chair, "is my bus-
ness~
"Of course, Mr. Jones'" was the easy rejoinder
of the lawyer. Now tell the court, please, if you
have any other business Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

revolts of the Bolshevik and enemy elements in
this country might be brought about.
But that it could get much further than these
same superheated beery brains we refuse to be-
lieve Even Leon Trotzky could get ehuckle out
of the Teuton idea that his friends of the East
Side and the /. w. w. would declare war on the
United States government. Nothing could be fur
ther from the thoughts Of these vermin than to
join in any overt rebellion against the govern
ment. They work in the dark and under cover
Even these rat-holcs are becoming unsafe for them
however, and the Department Of Justice Is turning
the screws tighter all the time.
In time the Bosheviki bark, the Shilka, that is
said to have arrived on the Pacific Coast with
arms and ammunition for American rebels, will
join the Flying Dutchman and other phantom
ships
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
sincerely help rather than maliciously

sincerely help rather than maliciously
hindering our cause.
AS another horn of this matter,
which we presented sometime ago TO
our readers, It might he recalled here
that representation will not be en-
tirely denied to our warriors after
the war is over. On the contrary, a
very formidable line Of them will be
seen in the halls OF Congress at no
far distant day. The warriors blood
will boil when our nation is assaulted
in the future-if II ever Is again,
after the present cOnflict-and the
pacifist and the obstruCtioniSt, one
and the same individual SO far as our
national honor is concerned. will not
have an opportunity to lead our ma
ton down the almost fatal pathway
where he led it for the three or four
years just previous to the present
war.
The lawmakers OF the future will
have enough warriors among their
number so that the sensible states
men who are already in Congress
cannot be stampeded and overrun by
fanatics who preach idealism in a
world not half ready for it.
The mixture will be beneficial. It
| will prevent us from becoming loggy
| in our patriotism. 1t will help us to
preserve what we are now fighting
for.
Expressions OF regret that the Presi-
| dent had decided to take over the rail-
roads were NOT heard around Con-
gressional halls yesterday.
There were many expressions of
qualification, however, that the EX-
ccutive had decided to take this
course. Congress is ready now to
watch the proceeding with all eyes
and with all ears it will listen for the
walls, if there be any, from the pub
| lie.
The belief is that much good will
develop from the situation. Without
trying to analyze the feeling of each
member 1t might be nearly correct to
| say that this expression covers the sit
uation: That II will be clearly DEM
onstrated that the nation could hard
ly own the roads and do Justice to the
people.
But it will be just as clearly dem
onstrated that the railroads CAN
make a multitude of improvements in
their operation, and that once shown
the way they can conduct themselves
more efficiently in the future, and
that a stable and perpetual relation
ship can be built up between the roads
and the people which will help them
both.
II this latter end Is achieved the
means by which 1t Is achieved will be
praised. 1t is that that we are looking
for and which once acquored we will
rejoice over in common with Congress
and the roads.
| THE OBSERVER.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
More and Better Bands
Part of u. S. Program

Ta-a Ia ia ta-a Boom,
Sammy is going TO have good music
and lots OF II.
The bandmaster and his crew will
play a prominent part in Sammy :
young life.
And sailors. too. They'll have bet
ter music than ever before. John
Philip Sousa has been spending a
deal Of his valuable musical time
building UP a wonderful hand at the
Great Lake Training Station north OF
Chicago. and the future admirals sure
do appreciate his efforts.
Every cantOnment has its own
handsome for each regiment is the
War Departments program. These
bands are made up OF selective SER
vice men, young fellows who played
in their home town hands before
Uncle Sam called them 10 the cOlors,
young fellows from big cities most
noted bands and ,-Chestras.
Gen. PershinE has ordered that all
army bands be improved and strength
encd so the troops may have the in
spiration Of first class martial music.
American army bands will be increas-
ed in strength from twenty-eigEt
pieces to approximately the French
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

number. fifty men In addition "a
these French bands have as high as
siNty-six drUmmers and trumpeters.
Every effort will be made 70
strengthen our bands. both over here
and in France. Enlistments OF bAnds-
men will be sought, and every selec-
tive service man who can play band
instrument will be given a chance 10
make good at footing q horn or
pounding a drum
French officers believe that q large
measure Of their success at Nerdun
may be accorded their musicians.
At the front, bandsmen act as
stretcher bearers and in other ways
assist the hospital corps.
Back at the base they help Sammy
forget the mud and dangers Of the
first line trenches.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
Il Is Their Right.

Postmaster General Burleson wants to abolish the
unions of postal employees. Letter carriers don't need
any unions says Bureson because they working for
the government, not private employers Public opin-
ion" is sufficient protection for government employees,
AYERS Burleson.
Public opinion" when prodded by the demands
and arguments of an efficient employees organization,
may protect government workers. But public opinion"
left to itself will do nothing The proof of this that
public opinion" has done nothing for many years to
help the gvernmen worker, who during that time has
been giving service for the rate of pay, although
the purchasing power of dollar has gone below 50
cents Under present conditions government employees
are among the worst exploited groups of workers in
the United States and Uncle Sam has unwittingly be-
come a sweat-shop operator.
So much for public opinion" substitute for
employees union But this is not the real to
Burleson The real answer is spiritual one
ter of wages and the increases thereof Collective bar
gaining and the right organize have higher values
than be expressed in dollars and cents. Denial of
these rights is theft Of the privileges of manhood and
womanhood in free republic.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Mr.. Brisbanes Washington Times boldly an
nounccs that it called the turn the Presidents
proclamation taking over the railroads and naming
McAdoo dictator, basing their prophecy on the first
paragraph OF David Lawrcncc's story of December
H. Why not reproduce the second paragraph Of
that same Lawrence story which says that New
York paper had made the same announcement a
week previous?
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
Sly Shots at the SoIons.
by THE OBSERVER.

Be IT said here that Senator Cum
minis indicates that those who are be-
ginning TO frame Presidential states
for 1920 need not consider him at all.
His friends do not want him TO make
formal announcement, however. for
they think the error Of forgetting the
West and remembering the East Il
just beginning to penetrate the dones
Of some OF the Eastern politicians.
The East will not be without candI-
dates, however-boy. see IL you can
get Senator Weeks on the wire.
Senator La Toilette does not mosey
around town with the same ease that
he used to. He gIances furtively from
side to side now-and invariably has
his son with him. And he rides taxi
cabs now, where he used TO patronize
the street cars very frequently. Evi-
IDENTIFY there is a reason.
Gen. Sharpe insisted that labor
troubles were the cause Of delay in
filling orders for army overcoats and
the like. And yet the general couldn't
tell Stanley King by sight and hadn't
any more idea of what Stanley was
doing to settle those troubles than the
man in the moon. Some Quartermas-
ter, we say.
Senator Frelinghuysen brought out
several questions about "the mystic
rious Mr.. King" He is the man re-
ferred to as Secretary Bakers labor
adviser. But what functions he had
no member OF the committee had been
able to learn thus far.
The shipping inquiry is going ahead
and already has had some results.
so Senator Fletcher thinks. Probably
the stimulus OF public scrutiny is be-
ginning to count. The public serv-
ants usually get buster when they
know that their acts are being given
the twice over" by investigating
bodies. Such bodies are good for US
They are an essential in our form OF
government.
Word has reached here that Repre-
sentative Stephens and Ross Ham
mond, of Nebraska, are lecturlng on
the results OF their trip to the firing
line. II is said that the former may
run for the Senate-and there are
whispers that the latter would like to.
! Stephens is a Democrat and his friend
Republican. One may run-which
| one no one knows-but they will never
| oppose each other, for they are bust
| ness associates and lifetime friends.
II Senator Baker it becomes, the Di-
| rector of the Mint will find a welcome
among the members of the upper body.
He has friends there who will do for
him when he gets there what they will
do for Joe Davies when Wisconsin
has a chance to send the latter to the
| upper house.
II Secretary McAdoo operates the
railroads in su>h a way as to earn
the Presidential election in 1890 the
| chances are that he will be kept at
| the railroad job. That's what one sa-
! CaciOus Representative suggested yes
! terday, and We throw the thought TO
| the public for discussion.
incidentally, watch Brice Claggett.
who, until only few months ago. was
a newspaper reporter. He will be vice
president OF Uncle Sans transporta-
! tion trust ''agin" the balmy June days
! come, we will wager. Frank Wander
! lip cannot claim all the honors now
for climb from the press typewriter.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
Cause Of Telegraph Wires Singing.

The singing of telegraph wires is
sometimes regarded as a weather
prognostic, though opinions differ as
to the kind of weather It foretelIs.
There has been much discussion as
to the cause OF this sound. Probably
1t is simply the Aeolian harp effect.
and its occurrence depends chiefly
upon the direction in which the wires
run. Variations in the pitch OF the
sound depend upon changes in the
tension Of the wires with varying
tsmpslstYrh
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR.
BY John Kendrick Bangs.
THE MADMEN.

THE MADMEN.
I'm told It's not quite sane
To smile in midst of pain.
II that be true, how sad!
All martyrs must be mad
Who meet the things of fear
With courage true and cheer.
All heroes bold who go
A-singing toward the foe
Must be II this be true
A dIppy-headed crew.
And men of sacrifice
Can't be considered wise
II haply they shall quafr
Their bitter cup-and laugh.
All well, II mad or not
I'll choose the smiling lot.
And grin that l should be
In such good company.
Copyright, 1917
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Evidently the railroads in the East have found cars
load with COAL for they say they short of
engines and the Western lines have promised to loan
them locomotives. While the Western roads are about
it they ought to loan them some roundhouses and
freight depots and yards.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28
/ WHA1 They SAY AT
'1HE WASHINGTON HERALDI
IT T. u u
"What Has He Done?''

Thus would the great Napoleon question those who brought
to him recommendations for best fitted for this
that.
NOW. The HERALD is submitting itself a. . news
paper that best fitted for local merchants place their
advertisements in Because from every angle The HERALD
is leader in the matter Of RESULTS and economy In
speaking of results the kind that and pro-
duce profit.
1t is universally known among most every business
man in Washington that The HERALD has earned the
largest percentage of home circulation the National Capital
for the past year. Furthermore this percentage
ing every day. home paper brings results because is
read in the home where all shopping trips start. But
home newspaper published in the MORNING is far
valuable from the standpoint Of producing advertising re-
suits because adyertises TODAY for TODATS BUSINESS
This i. a brief answer to what have done2"
But only a starter what going to do1
ADVERTISE. and remember the three rules that lead
10 RESULTS, PROFIT and SUCCESS
Frst-Advertise!
Second-Advertise!
Third-Adyertise!-
And use The HERALD.
IZee~ E-S-
@J~ 0z~.~
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

What makes the sugar kings so darned mad is
that Hoover didn't shortage and then let them
fix their own prices Gosh just think of Spreckels
having mountains of raw sugar, shortage of refined
at hand, and then Hoover fixing prices at cents or
thereabouts! OutrageouS!!
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Herr Trotzky may have much trouble in putting
down Kerensky Kaednes and Kornilof had
with our X K. K after our civil war.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

O~,e more we read that Nicholas Romanof has
fled from Siberia We don't blame him. In fact we're
beginning to believe Nick showed good when he
abdicated.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Fuel experts announce that two pounds of seasoned
wood have fuel value equal to pound of coal.
Hurrayl How it does warm fellow up to learn the
values of things he hasn't!
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

.}ombers have wrecked part of Gov. Stephens
home at Sacramento. But what does governor of
California want with whole home, anyway?
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

No farther enlistments will be re-
ceived IN the Naval Dental Corps,
il has been announced. The corps
is filled and has several dental sur
geons on the inactive list. Until
these are given active duty no
others will be commissioned
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Military experts state that the bellgcrents on the
Western front about equal as to man-power
This would that generaship and munitions would
settle it. A long war? Save, save, savel
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Jess Willard made offer to fight for nothing
He's beginning to see what he's really entitled to-
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Estimated that one-quarter of American life insur
ance companies assets tied up in railroad securities
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Anyhow, there's some sweetness in seeing the sugar
kings biting each other.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

How many more generally faulty" submarines has
Uncle Sam got in service?
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

United States is exporter of dyes Thus
is another German cnch punctured.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Rock carp as a rule do not wear red
ties. There IS a carp in New York.
however. that is habcrdashed with
the gayest OF scarlet neckpieces. In
papier-mache form, this fish is mount
ed in the "drawinE-r OF n place
where Broadway snortsmen gather.
The tie is as famous IS its surround
incs. 1t once belonged 10 Oliver Os-
borne-the elusive double of the we'll
known lawyers-who dallicd with the
affections OF a pretty little milliner.
1t was salvaCed from divers ef-
fects by a reporter just before Oliver
became a nonpaYinC guest of tho city.
In spirit of levity the scribe draped
It over the unsuspcCtinG carp's neck.
There II has hung for a year.
The other night a man who had en-
joyed his dinner TO the fullest entered
the place. He took one look at the
odd riscatorial effect and then spread
red-sealcd document upon the Ia
bic.
This Is my application for life in
suranCe," he volunteered, somewhat
thickIy Il Just wanted to re-read
that line which says: Are you fire.
quently subject to hallucinationsT
Some weird stories Of nersccu-
ton came out of the investigation of
dope ficnds'' by a legislative invcsti-
eating committee in Gotham. Many
told of being held by force in various
cures. However, 1t was not made
clear that most of the men who tcsti-
fed were probably under the influence
of drugs while tcstifying and 'rO-
mancing'' is one OF the drug addicts
minor passions. The fact is that rep
utahle drug and drink sanltariums
will never take patient unless they
have his voluntary consent The men
tai status is a big factor i'm dctermin-
ing the cure, it is argued, and unless
the patient is willing to put up n
Gght and wants to he freed. little can
hc done Many go to these SANTA
RUINS simply to aPpeasc their fami-
lies, and when they are released be
sin all over again.
There will leap EaiIy from the press
shortly a volume entitled THE Broad
way Anthology" In this book the
press agents of Broadway bare their
souls and the souls OF their employers.
1t will tell how many startling stories
have been gently hoisted into the first
pages of the metropolitan press.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Senator Frelinghuysen brought out
several questions about the mystic
rious Mr.. King" He is the man re-
ferred to as Secretary Bakers labor
adviser. But what functions he had
no member OF the committee had been
able to learn thus far.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

The East will not be without candI-
dates, however-boy. see IL you can
get Senator Weeks on the wire.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Gen. Sharpe insisted that labor
troubles were the cause of delay in
filling orders for army overcoats and
the like. And yet the general couldn't
tell Stanley King by sight and hadn't
any more idea of what Stanley was
doing to settle those troubles than the
man in the moon. Some Quartermas-
ter, we say.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

Senator La Toilette does not mosey
around town with the same ease that
he used to. He glances furtively from
side to side now-and invariably has
his son with him. And he rides taxi
cabs now, where he used to patronize
the street cars very frequently. Evi-
IDENTIFY there IL a reason.
The Washington herald., 1917-12-28

II Senator Baker it becomes. the Di-
rector of the Mint will find a welcome
among the members Of the upper body.
He has friends there who will do for
him when he gets there what they will
do for Joe Davies when Wisconsin
has a chance to send the latter TO the
upper house.