Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-07-26
ON THE SIDE
Apology.
BAY HENKY npwARp wAnnnn

| ] {. DA. ~ &DWAHD WARNAR .-.
Apology. -
Dear FFtends,-T have no nipd for peetry to
day. Poetry7 Wen. then, yerssi The str;prin,
together of words and phrases doesn't apnesi
l have been shot. or the track. have ses,
Two rat women. Ono vas on . eepaty read
ana III bet shae.s'a good esski Ono vss on
city porch, and.11l bot she sleeps late sad look,
terrible In CURL, pApefs. "
Paetryf What It's poetry7 John Keats know
but be died IT tx.epty-fopr, A contemporary
Frank L. Stanton. once wrote . piece of poetr,
about autump. 'enthroued upon her hill with
all her ally tpppstsrs .bept haF." WHO els.
once wrote q poorpf I dunno; I forget. Per.
10 initiate. to sttsmpt. to grab the rsps and II,
to climb. But postryr think Nature is thu
only poet, afterhalL
But about h esfat women. Whenever I sec =
fat woman or a skinny man in y bathing suit
l invariably go OF my feed. Instantly ths sum.
nit OF Olympus is hseiouded. wonder what
Democritus Of Ahdera thought Of fat women
of either at tho same time. 1t unbaisRees my
mental universe. II I would weep. I chuckie:
IL I would laugh cry. Tbs thing is impos-
sible.
Leo&ipx FsFus<d.
When will be tho Aanus Miraeilis7 I've pro-
dicted that by October IL things will DO looking
toward peace, and IL may be 1917. Tho subst,-
tuition in Germany Of Q puppst dictator whose
- 80 (1fFHf "ASSo
strings are pulled by absolutlsFn, until such time
as tho tyTaDt shall show hts spiked heel to the
people. is a straw blowing toward popular re-
volt. No? Then I merely guess-and nv guess
is as good as another.
But I've often wondered what might happen
refuse to fight. I'd hate to BE- tho frat victim
In front of tho Katees's boot! But In tho end.
I've dreamed Of = United States Of Europe
but that vas long ago. in the academic days.
7 n a Inn~ar APaarN &~. A
Historical.
Was the pseping Tom of Coventry actually
struck blind for his curiosity? TIL bet not. I'll
bet ten to one Lady Godiva Wouldn't permit tho
gods to do 1t. For, after all, wasn't It n great
compliment to Lady Godtys, that for a mere
glimpse ono would take such a chance with
fate7
A Volunteer.
I'm no murderer-no assassin-yet in tho
name of humanity would I possess a Gyses
ring. that I might slip into wherever he Is and
have q moments interview With one Mr.. VIII
helm HohenEolieFn.
A Kit'. Luck.
Ihrned myself with a Bristol steel rod. entity
hunk ltne, copper shank SMELLS. patent leads, a
couple OF tnfeilthle spoons and q bottle of hair
oil, and went fishing. I nshcI ALI day scten.
tihcsily. Along toward evening I started homo
with nothing doing. On the dock ! saw .
freckle-taced. snAg-toothed. shock-headed. pig
eon-toed kid with q piece Of string. an old
rusty hook, some garden worms and . willow
bough. He had eight bass. half a dozen big
white perch and two satties.
Nice tackle you've got, mister" he said. his
eyes green with envy.
Yep; nice fish you've got. kid" I said. my
eyes green with envy. Funny, isn't i'll
I wonder what the Little Corporal would
think OF the warfare now wasins over the very
with his forennger up to his chin and his cooked
hat pulled to his ears? What would be his
thought of the military necessity of tear ra.
hand srenades. a%irpianes. shells that tear holes
break windows for four miles about, the De,
Of arts precious fruits!
We have progressed. We no longer Might've
annihflate. We no longer conquer. wo destroy.
We no longer hate-we rend with tho fury Of
Napoleon would 20 back to the
piow. The Molly Massires are respectable.
Getting along nicely. aren't we, And M
poetry yet; not a Joke; not even Charcoal Ephi
Calamity.
Because the English Earl Of Sandwich used "a
eat meat between pieces of bread Will. plavlnr
cards. we have been condemned to tbi. horr,h'.
expedient even to tho serving Of fra nkf,,rter
BY the way. no true gourpAnd will eat q frank-
furter unless 1t Is genuine dachshund.
The family name of General Tom Thumb. IN.
famous dwarf. was stratton. Do VOW care, 7
don't.
This Is not the age to worry about dwarf..
rms is the age when men tower. like tho Nc
Leans and the GordoGs. like Kitchsners whit.
baroarians. like the Kaiser. Does tho Kai,.r
tower! Indeed he does. but no is Q Tower of
Babylon! W
Sufficfent! IF you have been bored .h,u
promise 10000 masses for the repoao of vour
soul some day. II you have borne with m.
thanks-for ] was aweary of verso. For th,t
because you read me to this. I shall return to-
morrow TO the futuity of rimed thing. ?
snail tell you. perhaps. Of the ash-tree Yepsra.
ei ana or the serpent. Nithogsr, Enawinx
at its roots; OF tho deadly upas NJ
poison IVY or some other pleasant thing In
/ DO not care for prickiy pears. nor cactus no.
rattlesnakes. f' H'r
Isn't II PECULIAR? Isn't It almost VERDI
HENRY EDwARD