davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
The Irish Sea-CooR
By F. !. Sheath

I pear a very ordinary type among his fellows
but an Irishman, and especially a wandering
/ Irishman, in an "alien" regiment is bound TO
occasion a considerable amount of stir among
his comrades, and whatever mischievous
project was afoot George was sure TO take
a part in it. lie guyed the sergeant major
and the minor n. G. O.'s with merciless cum
ming and proved at once veritable JOY and
inspiration to his fellow Tommies and a
never-endnS source of apprehension to those
engaged in keeping order in the regimeEtal
billets. His conduct, however, was not OF the
criminal order, and when cook was wanted
for the company headquarters mess the COM
rGny commander was only too pleased to get
George to take up the position
New Responsibilities
With this change George once more re-
yerted to ultra-respec lie was once
more captains man." filling a responsible,
if humble position. The various \. c. O.'s
whom he had formerly baited now acquired
in his regard the status of fellow function
aries, each charged with definite commits
sion to be fulfilled within a definite sphere.
In fact. it was just as if he had been pro-
NOTED ships steward from deck hand and
had exchanged the fOrecsstle ideas with re-
gard to the ships officers for those of the
Quarterback, where mutual support and inter
dependence are the guiding principles. He
made an excellent mess caterer, and often
his spontaneous wit would chase away the
gloom when bad times hung over the bat
TALON and friends no longer sat down in their
wonted places. His captain held him in high
esteem. The sequel will show that George
was not ungrateful.
The long, dreary winter of 1915-I6
slipped away, the bloody spring affairs at
the Bluff aud st. Eloi passed into history,
and still George served as captains steward.
The Somme cloud doomed upon the horizon
and broke, and there came a day when
George found himself in front-line trench,
waiting to 90 forward with the second wave
of the attack The first wave had advanced
as far as some very deep wire uncut by the
bombardment, behind which was trench full
Of Germans and had taken cover in a shall
low ditch by the side of an overgrown road
about two hundred yards from their starting
point, while runners herocaly made their
way back to ask for further bombardment
One Of these men shouted out, Captain -
is lying wounded half way across" and Cap.
toin -- was Georges master. The front
line was being traversed by machine gun fire,
the bullets understanding all along the
parapet, yet without a moments hesitation
George mounted scaling ladder and disep-
peared over the top. And later, when the
attack had been pressed home, they found
master and man lying dead together
do not know whether "Moore's cook
house still exists or any of the other saps
and corners associated with his name But
his memory depends on no such visible sym
bols for its perpetuation. Whenever meet
any Of the "old boys" Of the regiment, snd
we talk of the splendid comrades now dead
and gone, the name of that Irish sea-cook
Is among the first to be mentioned.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12

clearly of late in some Of the testimony
before the committee appointed in England
to inquire into the determinations Of medi-
cal recruiting boards. Of course, the sys-
TEN there is much more complicated than
ours is at present, and some very serious
mistakes have undoubtedly been made.
With all the different categories involved, it
would be remarkable if there were not
many instances Of injustice. But a point
that is incidentally brought out Is the diff
fculty Of fixing tests that may permanent
ly be depended upon to work smoothly and
evenly all around.
There is no doubt that in the early days
far too many men were rejected. The
standards were too eXacting and some
times too pedantic for practical purposes.
Many notifications have been introduced
abroad, and before our ranks are filled ex-
perience will probably bring about further
changes here, too.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Haig and Wellington Converse

IFrom The sheNsd England Daily Telegraph
At a competitive examination recently in a
local elementary school one of the exercises
set was to describe an imaginary converse
ton between the Duke of Wellington and Sir
Douglas Haig. The idea was to see how far
the children had realized the changes that
have taken place in methods Of conduC ing
war. Some Of the essays were extremely
good, showing considerable historical knovl-
edge, as well as a fairly wide acquaintance
with the present-day science of warfare. And
some were unconsciously humorous In
which category the following comes our read
ers must decided for themselves;
Wood morning, Sir Douglas. how are
you keeping in these days of agony?
HI am we'll as can be- Let's see, thou
won great battle at Waterloo
YVES there has not been many battles
much fercer.
H-Happen not, but there are some been as
bad and happen worse. The other dav we
drove the Huns back fifteen miles on an eigh.
teen-mie front, and don't know how many
Huns We capchcred, and don't care, so long
as ! capchcr and kill some more.
W-How many did there look to be cap.
chcred?
H-oh, about 5000 killed and 10000 cap.
chered
W-lou made great success. Not a quar-.
ter Of one, or half of one, but a whole one
The battle OF Waterloo was bad enuf, but
the one that is going on now is lawful. Well,
goodbye | am going back TO my grave, all
nv thlnEs are out Of date
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Easy to Swim

To the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir: It's amazing what mystery la,
who don't know how to swim make o, .,
learning Of that very simple art. Why n,
as simple as rolling off log-snd lis N,
Quently learned in approximately that nr.
ner. Babies learn to swim before thew a,
walk among water-loving savage tribes, ui
get there are any number Of grown ne
among us who say they Garland don't
There's no person who can't learn 10 sE,.
or at least, support himself in the water, Z
ten minutes in still water. Walk out III
breast deep and then try 20 sit down on a,
bottom, With lungs full Of air you will t,i
you can't--the water will bear you up. 0,a
you have confidence the water viii sup,s
you the rest is simply getting the noe
above water for an occasional breath M
learning to propcl yourself through the vaH
From my own experience and obseryativ.
| should say that the breast stroke u
discouraged and kept from learning u.
counted would-be swimmers. It's uss aI
upon muscles rarely if ever used and &
therefore eXhausting. The leg stroke m
with il is mechanically impossible rs
stroke is pretty we'll dscredited nos, k
beginners seem 10 know no other. The n
paddle"-clawing downward with one lrl
and then the other but a short dsrs
ahead of your chin-has many adysHum
for the beginner. II keeps the head vel .
at all times and it requires only moyennr
we make many thousands Of times daily a..
which our muscles are amply developed ii
The only leg movements with this strsn
are from the knees-a downward kick
You can't sink with your lungs full Of az
However, if you lie inert in the water ysz'
head will hang lower than the remainder 4
your body. Paddle gently with your hand
and YOU will bring up your head I'LL yn
can breathe through your nose. Really, ihi,I
all there is to swimming Swim as low b
the water as possible-every unnecessary
lifting Of the head or body out Of Il,
water costs greatly in effort Famj.iira
yourself with padding about under ~
water. Open your eyes-water, salt or irei,
will not hurt them. HUGUEN0T
New Rochelle, n. Y, Aug. ., 1917
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Hoover and Nautilus

There is irony in the fact that it is war
rather than peace which brings the food
dictator to the world. War presents the
problem of food more graphically than
peace does. 1t is obvious that war results
in heightened consumption of food,
marked destruction of it and lessened
production of it because of limitations on
the number of hands engaged as pro-
ducers.
In peace time food shortages and their
attendant social ills are often hidden in
the mass of the worlds economic machin-
cry. Food riots such as New York saw
last winter are not frequent in modern
times, however startling they may be.
When nations compete commercially, m
dustrially and through the conflict OF
ideas, the dangers Of undernourishment OF
certain sections of the populace-by rea-
son of an always inequitable distribution
and of a reduction Of the birth rate by
the economic penalties which speculative
food prices impose on marriage are not
always evident. Nevertheless, they are
dangers which are real and insidious and
which war, with its testing Of national
strength, does no more than disclose.
Nautilus, it must be believed, never got
so far as to imagine Hoover. The famous
Essay on the Principle of Population
would have been, however, inferentially
an argument for food control if early
nineteenth century thought had developed
so far as to allow such control Of private
property. As populations increase, Nal
thus observed, the means of subsistence
become proportionately less adequate. The
importance Of war in the Malthusian doc
trine lay in its destructive power. War
reduced populations, 50 there would be
enough food to 60 around among those who
remained. No doubt this was depressing,
but Nautilus was an honest and coura-
geous man, who seemed to have a fond
ness for facts.
In our own time-in the pre-war period
there has been an unconscious attack on
the operation of the Malthusian law, an
attack which is apparent in study Of in
tensive food production, in multiplied
ton of the methods of transporting food
and in a critical attitude toward specula-
ton in food commodities. But the world
has had to wait for war itself to complete
the process-to take advantage of the
widespread tendency toward collective
control Of public processes and establish
food director.
The lesson Of war ought not to be wasted
when peace comes again. 1t may be that
the pressure of an industrial and economic
competition between nations, resumed on
a greater scale than ever before, will force
the state everywhere to retain the food
dictator. At least it would be folly for
America to surrender the lesson Of social
economy that other nations already have
Ilearned-and we doubtless soon will learn.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Oldtime Advertisements

To even the intelligent person who has
but little connection with business and who
knows life best through the medium Of
books the average advertisement in news
papers and magazines seems scarcely
worthy of thought beyond the immediate
object it has in view. Yet in a sense prob
ably the most accurate portraiture of man
and of the times in which he lives is to be
found in the advertising columns of news
papers. Shakespeare rightly looked at the
dramatic art at its best as holding up the
mirror to nature. Perhaps even in truer
sense the humble advertisement may be
called not only the mirror Of man, but the
glass of the time in which he lives.
As an illustration of this thought we re-
fer to a page of "The Boston Gazette and
Country Journal" for Monday, March ~,
1910, which gives contemporary account
Of the Boston Massacre, its causes and con-
sequences. Who can doubt the sturdy pa
triotism Of the Colonial American who sent
this advertisement TO "The Gazette:
WHEREAS fome evil minded Perfon or Per-
fons has fatty reported Of me the Sub
fcriber, That ! did on Saturday the Sd
Infant, make at my Shop a Number Of Clubs
for the Ufe Of the Soldiers; which Report
tends much to my Disadvantage. do
therefore hereby declare, that | never did
either make or caufe 10 be made, by myself
or any other Perfon, any Club or Clubs, or
any Sort Of Weapon, for any of the Sol
diery; and IL any fuch Thing was done at
my Shop, il was intrely without my Knowl-
edge. To the Truth Of which ! am ready
10 atteft on Oath. As witnefs my Hand,
ADAM AIR.
There are other advertisements in this
Colonial newspaper equally indicative Of
the times and the character of the people
who inserted them. As it was at the begin
ming of spring, many of the articles to
which their owners called the attention Of
the public were garden seeds, as in the
case Of Elizabeth Clark and Arwell, whose
shop was "sx doors 10 the southwark Of
the Mil-Bfidge," or Elizabeth Greenleaf,
whose shop was Eat the end Of Union
Street, over against the Blue Ball, while
Bethiah Oliver kept garden seeds also for
sale at her shop, Opposite the Rev. Dr..
Scwalrs Meeting House" There were
farms. houses and all sorts Of goods to be
sold = public vendue, while any ono who
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Britannia's RollcalI.

AZ I'm d dream ] saw hos.
Like sands beside the sea,
And every man was but the ghost
or what he used to be.
Yet still they marched with martial mien
Sears healed and cripples whole,
And answered, while with sobs between
Britannia called the roll.
We are the men who died for you
From castle, court, and hall,
The gilded youth, the tried and true,
Who had, and gave you all;
Noblesse oblige-at your command,
Through wars red gate we passed
To that strange unimagined land
Wherein the first are last.
We arc the men who died for you
In sitting, battling waves;
For US no tears, as tribute due,
On peaceful churchyard graves.
Instead, our weary bones are tossed
To alien deeps and bourns,
Where only for the loved and lost
The lonely seabird mourns.
We arc the men who died for you,
From factories, shops, and farms;
We dropped the tasks we used to do
And changed our tools for arms.
And in the inch by inch advance
Through labyrinths of caves,
We filled the ruined fields OF France
With harvests of fresh graves.
We are the men who died for you,
The disinherited,
The low born, slum-bred, reckless Few
Who also fought and bled.
In life dishonored and denied,
with the elect we stand,
They asked US where we lived and died,
We said-in No Mans Land.
We are the men who died for you,
Gathered from ends Of earth,
As welcome and as loyal too
As men OF English birth.
We gave to serve our mothers needs
Our love. our blood, our breath,
OF different breeds and different creeds,
But brothers all in death.
We whom the gods love died for you,
BY water, air or fire,
And some to wars wild wreckaGe threw
Rent Lutte and unstrung Tyre;
others shall hear your trumpets blow
when victory ends the strife,
We are content, for now you know
We loved you more than life.
JULIA S. DINSMORE.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Selaxed Physical Requirements

Occasional revision Of the regulations
for physical examinations under the draft
law must doubtless be expected, and it
would he unreasonable 70 quarrel with the
medical authorities for what may appear
10 indicate want Of decision in establish
ing standards. Such standards must be
determined more or less exPerimentally,
and a certain amount Of confusion at first
IL probably inevitable Some inconsistent
eies will be discovered, too, for unless all
the men were 10 be passed under a single
examiner differences Of opinion and judg-
roent must be made manifest now and then.
The difficulties have been shown pretty
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Mishandling a Fairy Tai.
Jack and the Beanstalk" FIJI.
Children Who See Il
To the Editor Of The Tribune.

Sir: Being greatly interested 4,
pictures for children, am astound.s ..es'
criticism in your paper, and a pr,.t e
others, OF the Fox film Jack and 49,
stalk" | protest with indignatio, osr'
both the film and the criticisms 's''s,
Evidently a child audience wa, -.
thing from Mr.. Fox's mind when - ''a'E
at least half Of "Jsck and the Re-. NAG
During much Of the film there wsrs -
all over the house crying as tbous J-N on
poor little hearts would break es'
Well acted the film certainly IA,
lightfully humorous in places and ,s s.S a.
But the humor in most cases did NJ, -'Ic
the children, and the realism in man "a. tsaa
struck terror to their souls. The ... E'''i
parts were dragged out to a lepyt1s ' .,s
unbearable even to grown-ups. Blood $50. -'s
ing down peoples faces is no sight for 80, ~
dren. W.
The good old fairy stories do NJ, !,
children's feelings and a picture has \. -. 80
to do so. The old writers for children 49, ~
stood child psychology. --@''
| don't know whether Mr. Fox ba, A..
on the box Office or what the trouble /. "
il he intends to make films for cbil5,.. - I,
had better forget the grown folks wbS. :
does IT,
After having gotten the children "a -.
to the theatre in joyous anticipate, :, :
beautiful fairy story there is shown ~
Jack and the Beanstalk," a Comedy a, ~
vilest, flthiest type-one not ft 10 be -
on any motion picture programme. II sss-.,
as though some one had taken that orr.
tunity to attempt TO deprave the nip5' :,
little children.
If the programmes announced as esp,ei,p,
for children are not safe for them, il /, ~.
they were forbidden the picture house, !.
the houses closed.
This letter may seem strong, but b,ll,,.
most parents, at least, will agree with ',
and | believe that you will always v,,,
your paper TO stand on the right side Of n,
very important question.
VIRGINIA SAUNDERS
New York, Aug. 10, 1917
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Preserve Central Park Reservoirs
Emergency
To the Editor of The Tribune.

To the Editor of The Tribune. .,
Sir: Would it not be unwise TO diseon.,,,
the u.c of the Central Park reseI'y, :,
Should not this densely populated i'l.-a j
tain within It's boundaries some ressl.,,i
water against emergencies? u Is co az
quite possible that the supply coming n y
above the Harlem River might pc '' C,f
some accident or through anarchiS' - ,st
man Vaccinations. In that case ''sn'E' al
ton lines would have TO stop rup-ri ,hs,
many thousands Of our dense Pop ,,gN
might perish from thirst before 'n''
obtain water. ,,,lr e
In case Of such catastrophe ne s.rf Us,
water in the reservoirs would De o'',. lsJ
none at all, and could doubtless ~ = h
solely for drinking purposes BY Ter Ter Of
discharge pipes and pumping 'ne Al ~
for distribution by motor wagon" ,;.k,y q
reservoirs would be emptied very IN opss
the ordinary discharge pipes were npE
New York Aug, ., 1917
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
Thanks for Aid for French Orphans

Sir: Nine. Blanche Bimont, who brings us
the funds generously contributed by the
friends Of France in the United States for the
delicate orphans Of the Mason Fsmiliale, tells
me Of The interest you took in the cause Of
our little ones.
Allow me to tell you Of our feelings Of
gratitude for the help you gave us in pub
fishing the "Cry Of Children
We hope TO save many Of tho children Of
France with our Maison Familialc.
Living is so high that we arc for the pres
cut unable 20 take all those who need our
care, but we hope for the best.
Thanking you again in the name Of the
Committee Of the Orphclinat des Armees and
in my own.
Believe me- very gratefully.
LOUIS JOURENNEMI.
Lc Uircctour General
Paris. France July ~. l"lT.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
The Cuckoo in Camp

Eric Parker. n The London SPECTATOR
Dark elms in deep June heat,
Poppies blazing in wheat,
Dust in a MINDLESS street,
Silence. And then
Unbelievable, sweet
Beyond oil voices Of spring,
You. from some copse unseen
Calling, calling.
You, calling back the May,
Rlackbirds singing all day,
Ny own Surrey lane
And brier budding green,
White-blown, virginia. gean
And primroses IN rain.
oh, and It's all 81 u gone,
And 7 ehn'ut he~r Won againi
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
A King Goes Fishing
From The Westminster GaEettcl

An article in a French paper describing
King George salmon fishing is too good to be
lost. Il runs Gin translation):
Gle is an angler Of the first force, this King
Of Britain. Behold him there, as he sits mo-
tionless under his umbrella patiently regard
ing his many-colored floats! How obstinately
he contends with the elements! 1t is a sum
mer day of Britain; that is'to say, day Of
sleet, and fog, and tempest, But what would
Won? It is as they love it, those who would
follow the sport. Presently the Kings float
begins TO descend My God! but how he
strikesl The hook is implanted in the very
bowels Of the salmon. The King rises. He
spurns aside his footstool. lie strides strongly
and swiftly toward the rear. In good time
the salmon comes to approach himself to the
bank. Aha! The King has cast aside his rod.
He hurls himself fiat on the ground on his
victim. They splash and struggle in the ICY
water. Name Of a dogl But it is Draw
Iaddje, The gillic, kind Of outdoor domes-
tic administers the coup de grace with his
pistol The King cries with very shrill
voice, Hip! Hip! Hurrah!' On these red
letter days His Majesty George dimes on a
haggis and a whiskey grog. Like true
Scotsman. he wears only kilt"
need not add that the description is meant
to be most complimentary to the King, in
spite Of the lively imagination OF the writer.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
A Life Giving Drink
or of The Tribune

To the Editor of The Tribune
Sir: In the hope that you may find yc.s
for it in your columns this letter seeks y
tell briefly of the work Of a small cornt
tee, one of the many organized by the Voc
ans Municipal League of the City Of NC
York. This committee has for fifteen year
brought comfort and relief to the over
crowded districts Of the city by supplying
drinking fountains of water cooled by 0
during the summer months, when the Vsii
in the pipes is Of temperature naussaais
for drinking purposes. The cold drink p
life-giving to the tired worker and % ~
sick, to whom it may be carried, and ke's
men by scores from saloons. On West Sr's'
between the Battery and Houston stree
there are about two hundred saloons ard ~
fountain at Seamsn's Church Institute ~
a constant stream of patrons through "
night as well as during the day.
About thirty fountains have been iHs'al'-
a few Of which have been discontinued o.
ing to changed conditions in the ne.gi'@
hood, while some are supported as memohlI
Sixteen are maintained by the efforts o. ~
committee and funds are needed 70 earn 7,
the work. The increased cost Of ice ana !
labor, the latter counting greatly in our y.
get owing to constant repairs in our ol''i.
etc, has raised the average maintenance o'l
of each fountain TO about one hundred do.H.
for the season. This money has been ~
by subscriptions and gifts, eked out oy "
tertainments. -
The committee believes that II this H'@
work were better known 10 would ma" %
appeal even in the times OF stress
Checks may be sent to the chairman
MRS. II. T. WEIDENEELD
Iced Water Fountains Committee Woes.
Municipal League, 10 West f0'A''
Street.
New York. 49, D. 1917
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12
CANADIAN RATES
vopy1cN RATES.
r-,.... q, N. Pc.,onos At New York Z" Second Gas
Mall Matter.

va, e,n purehas merchandise advertised ln IL.
-pyprS,E with absolute ssfety-for n disSausai1lol
i, an go THE TRIBUNE guarantees 70 pay SoII
$50 ,,r,- r,ouest No red tape No qrloolAs We N''
GOD promptly n the advertiser does not
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12

Owned and published daily BY The Tribune AN9'A 10,
New YORK Corporsticn OgdsH Rcd, Presiaent, ~. 81
noy,, vice PTssident Richard r. waldo seere,Hy ,,sr
500 r,,,.prsr Adde'S Tribune Buildtns lof N''''
street New York Telephone. Beskmm oV''
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-08-12

SUBSCRIPTION RATEs-By Mai. Postass i'''
side q Create New York; "A
Daily and sunday mos IS Daily Only. moan m
nIly ana sunday. mos AS DAILY only mon 400
pals and sunday. year $50 paiy ony, -, 30
sunday only. months, 10 sH'IA' wy