Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1917-12-23
TOnSOridI kuIture
In the Biz TOlrn

Somewhere in New York. Dear
b Folks Safety first has never been
my motto. / have never learned 70
shave myself
The other day ! tried the tonsorial
temple of the Hotel Gigantic, Just off
Broadway, on one o! those expensive
side streets. i went IN to be shaved.
not skinned. but the outcome of the
adventure proved conclusively that we
little know what the future holds for
us or what is waiting for us just
around the corner, The shaving was
literal and the skinning was paregor-
zeal, II l may use the term, but I
assure you they were equally painful.
always have stage fright when |
enter these places. ] seldom know
what to do with my feet and hands,
and ! am always painfully conscious
or the fact shat my haberdashery,
which ] am obliged to display without
restraint, is not fully up TO the re-
quirements of the Broadway mode.
Ny cravat smacks of the middle west
and my collars areN always at least
three or four days behind the style.
But I was glad upon this occasion
that | had made the plunge for II was
In the midst of the glittering splendor
OF this sanitarium for the removal of
superfluous hair that I met the Count
de Tonsorla and his wonderful bevy OF
female retaners.
Reception Committee Gets Busy.
gentleman whom l took to be the
porter formed a steering committee OF
one. He grasped me by my good right
arm as tho he were afraid | would
back out, and steered me over to the
hat boy. This porter was the clubbiest
In
couldn't remember Of having asso-
ciated with him at Ann Arbor, but he
treated me like an old college chum.
In less Time than 1t takes Mr..
Schwab to jot down an order for a
peck of shrapnel the hat boy, who is
the most active person in the burrow
OF Manhattan, without doubt had
completed the peeling process and
had prepared me for the initiation
He took my hat, cane, overcoat, coat
waistcoat. collar tie and overshoes.
and left me alone among strangers
with as little secluson as an X-rav
patient nj the Polytechnic. He handed
me small piece'of pasteboard. which
represented about every thing had
In the world.
Fortunately he left my trousers
shoes and socks. and ! figured that
l could sell those for enough TO get
home on If | didn't live too far away.
The human mind moves very fapidly
In an emergency They ten me n
drowning man thinks groht many
tmngs when he is going down for
the third time.
My conditions reminded me some
what OF the time ! joined the Yip-I-
Addy frat back in the dear old Prexv
Angells day.
When l got n closeup or my bar
Der, / found that he was not n bar
Der at all, but the Count de Tonsoria
or Milan, Italy. Anybody could tell
at glance that this nobleman didn't
nave to shave people for a living. He
was just doing It to be eccentric or TO
pay an election bet or something. Be
hind him | seemed to see a long line
or distinguished ancestors
l felt sure he could trace his lineage
at least as far back as Ptolenv. that
famous old tlehtly-laced kink. whose.
genuine remains may now be seen in
SOME half dozen of our best mn
seums. I figured that the Epvntion
strain got Into the Count de Tonsoria's
family about the time J. Caesar and
Mare Antony were fussing around the
outskirts of the Sahara desert with
their armies
a person will think of many things
while walking to the electric chair or
upon other occasions Of serious mo-
ment' remember that once. when
was called upon TO make n speech at
n banquet ! thot of everything that
had happened in my past life. | also
figured out the problem of the fourth
dimension and the conundrum as TO
why is goat nearly?"
In moments of stress a man figures
out everything except the thing that
ne wants figured out. In this instance
/ had figured, out the countH lineage
instead Of flgtring out the problem
of paying hk bill
Tucks Ahroud About Neck.
After taking one look at the count
1 decided to pay the price gladly. no