davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
HOT SPRINGS ENTRIES,

FIRST RACE-Selling maiden 3year-olds and
upward; six furiongs. -Pasha. l0l: James c., lOl
Plunser, lO4; Miss Shot, lo4; Dr.. Prather, los;
Woody. loSi Patapsco. lo6; zudora. los Nepotism.
lo9; Adolante. 100; Lame Deer. 1lo; Grey Foot l1o
SECOND RACE Selling; Syear olds and upward
Sx furlongs. Elizabeth Thompson. 81; 'Jim wtnn,
lo4 BENJAMIN. l0S; Heir Apparent, 1o6: Oldmobie,
lb; Doctor Kendall l0s; Foeman. l0s; Cash on
Delivery, 100; Ralph s.. ITO; Estbsr L., LII; Ber-
mudian. n3; Freeman. ll3
THIRD RACE-Selnng; Syear-olds and upward
niue and seventy yards Helen James. los; Ool.
AcNab. l@; Milton Campbell. los; Lady Powers,
no; Voluspa, lo; Kneelet. no; Handful, 10.
FOURTH RACE-selling; handicap; ayearolds
snd upward; mile and onesixteenth. Handiemar.
100; Buz Around, l6; Thanksgiving, l6; Bryan
Boru, l06; Jack Reeves, I0e
FIFTH RAOE-SeIling; syearolds and upward
~ furlonss. Sister Susie, %; sTactless lo2;
Minnie A., lo2; minstrel, lo4; Bad Prospect, l0i;
Tsh, ld; VIII do. los; Ingut. los: Elsabio, lOs;
iealoaha. IN; Scrutineer, liz; King K. liz
SIXTH RACE-seuing; Syear-olds and upward
une and seventy, yards. Lady Ward, q; Alert s
Cnivator, los; Uncle Nun, iu; Semper stalWsrt
We feuar' loS; Emma Stuart. 10; Prime Mover lis.
sAprrpntics allowsnc. ri.ir,.a
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
FIGHT FOR POSITIONS
GROWS WARM ON HILL

The fight for positions on Georgetown's
1917 baseball team viii be on in earnest
from this out
During the past week Coach John
o'Reilly. Manager Cabana and Captain
Bill Cusack have been taking the candi-
dates along at top speed with the re-
suit that practically every one, with the
exception of the hurlers, are In at con-
dition to go nine innings.
Yesterdays practice. which lasted for
over two hours, was for the most part
taken up in hitting and fielding. In
an effort to get line on each and every
candidate, O'Reilly and Cusack were con-
stantly switching the players from one
position to another.
Finnegan and Cooney took turns on
the mound in ritiing them through to
the plate and both pitchers put plenty
Of zip on the ball. Finnegan seems
TO be farther advanced than any of the
hill aspirants.
With present weather conditions pre-
vailing for another week, 1t is the hope
Of the Blue and Gray's coach, manager
and captain, to be able to place a rep
resentative team in the field by that
time that will be in first class condi-
ton.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
Errors by Crane, Sawyer and
Judge Pave the Way
for Defeat.
BY JOHN A. DUGAN.

Augusta, Ga. March 12-with but two
Gays OF sun-baking In this Sunny South,
Clark Grifith sent his Nationals inte
the erst inter-club game this morning
Immediately after their initial military
drlIl. The Regulars won a seven and one
han-inning contest from the Yannigans
oy to ] count, as costly errors by
crane, Sawyer, and Judge in the second
and fourth innings paved the way.
Mollie Craft started the pitching for the
fannigans and allowed but three hits dur
ing his services on the mound, while
humphreys followed and was touched for
TOUR hits, three coming in the fourth in
nns, resulting In the regulars final two
counters.
Jim Shaw was found for a trio OF safe
olo"s during the first three innings he
was on the mound for the regulars. while
bert Gallia allowed the same number in
three sessions. Lefty Thomas worked
tne seventh and part Of the eight inning
tor both teams, and the lanky southpaw
GOT away without bingle being gathered
on his delivery.
Leonard opened the game with a
srounder to Crane which the former
Baltimore player fumbled. Foster fol-
lowed with blow at Sawyer, and in
hurry1ng the throw the comedian threw
over Judges head. Judge recovered the
oaI and attempted to head of Leonard,
VINO was beating II for third. but his peg
was bad. and when the dust had settled
leonard had scored and Foster was safe
~ stationed at the far corner.
AFTER Clyde Milan had grounded out
Ehner Smith hit over second base scor-
ing "Fatlma.''
Two more were added in the fourth
After Smith had grounded out to Judge.
hlce was given life on Sawyers sec
ond error and Shanks hit to right field,
moving Rice to third base. Mcbride
grounded TO Sawyer. who attempted 10
double up Shanks but his throw was
100 late and all hand were safe.
Eddie Charity then came through with
slashing drive to deep left field, scor-
ing Rice and Shanks. Gallia flew out
10 Berry and Leonard sent drive to
horace Milan. Captain Mcbride attempt
ing to score from second base on Leon
ARDS blow. but a brilliant peg by "Hoss''
got the Captain a yard of the plate.
The fanniGans gathered their tally in
The sixth when Menoskey was given a
base on balls and went to second on a
pass to II. Milan. Both runners moved
up when Sawyer went out. Foster to
Shanks. Ainsmith hit a slow one at
Mcbride which the dandy captain let
slide through his legs. Menoskey and
II. Milan racing over the pan. Clyde
Milan Telayed the ball to Leonard, who
touched the bag and Umpire Altrock
called "Hoss out for not touching the
cushion
Joe Judge got the only extra base
hit of the game when with two down
In the third he lined one to the center
field fence. The score:
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
b 3atter Reaches First in the
Four Innings in Which
He Works.
BY JOHN A. DUGAN.

Augusta, Ca, March 12.-oid Fox Grif-
nth barely gave his young athletes In
camp here time enough this afternoon to
eat the midday meal before he rushed
, them back to Sally League Park and
staged the second OF the inter-club con-
tests. After batting eight innings In
roasting, glaring sun. the contest was
called with the score tied at all.
DR.. Wyatt Yancey Ayres did the mound
duties for the regulars for four innings,
and from the way the Hillville saw
bones set the Yannigans down one would
think that he was in July form, as only
twelve men faced him and not q hit was
obtained Off his delivery. ...
The sawbones was opposed by Lefty
f'kok" Jameson, who allowed FIVE hits
ana held the regulars to one run, this
coming as a result Of Morgan's first err
ror. Flaherty relieved Ayers and went
three innings, in which time three blows
and one run were gathered by the Yanni-
gans, this tally coming as a direct result
OF his wild peg to the initial sack.
Dumont took up the burden for jamie
son, and the regulars touched up his
curves for five hits and one run.
Uncle Nick Altrock sent F1aherty to
the showers after the seventh inning and
had quite time stopping the Yannigans
when they jumped on his fiinginr for two
Leonard. Foster, and c. Milan proved
easy pickings for Jameson in the first
inning, but Elmer Smith started the sec
ond session with a two-base knock to
right center. Smith took a big lead on
the bag and the little southpaw nailed
him.
Rice went down. from Sawyer 10 Judge.
but Shanks caught hold Of one to his
liking and sent II over Cranes head for
three bases. With two down Mcbride
grounded to Morgan. who made a Door
throw TO Judge. Shanks trotting across
with the regulars first run. Jameson then
caught Mcbride of the bag and nailed
him by two yards.
Du Mont took I'D Jamieson's' hath. In
the NTH, and Mcbride popped out to
Judge Charity then singled to left field
ana scored when Eddie Flaherty polled
one over Smiths head for two bases
rlaherty overran the keystone sack and
was called out on the play.
Inc fannigans gathered their first run
In the seventh, when Flaherty made a
pad throw Of Menoskey's bunted hall.
Horace Milan and Sawyer both went out
easily, but Mike Moran smashed ono
past smith that rolled down into the
iett field corner. the former Capital sand
scoring.
In the seventh Henry led off with a
double to center field, and moved tn third
on Du Mont's single through short, Nor
gan then lifted long fly to Milan. scor-
ing Henry.
Inc game was featured by the work OF
Ptchers Ayers and Jameson, as the lat
ter caught three OF the regulars manning
and time and again pulled himself out
or hole by brilliant fielding. The score:
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
ToNIGHTs BOWLING SCHEDULE,

Southeast-Midnight Crew vs. Sanitary
Grocery.
Mt. Pleasant-Pirate VS.. Palm Cafe
Interbureau-Chemistry VS.. Entomology.
Commercial-Evening Star VS.. General
Baking Company.
ColumbIa-Joe and Frank VS.. Congress
sionals
Capital City-Ivory Soaps VS.. National
Laundry.
Northeast-American Ice No. VS. Nc
Hugh's.
Observation-Disclosures VS.. Auditors.
District-Royals VS.. Contenders.
Observation-Disclosures VS.. Casinos.
knights of Columbus-Nintas VS.. Fer
dinands; Salvadores VS.. La Sales.
Odd FELLOWSHIP. Pleasant VS.. Central
Bureau Engraving-Surface VS.. Nation
ais.
Northeast-MCHugh's VS.. Dixies.
Arcade-Arcadian VS.. Washington Ry.
Electric Association.
Alexandria City-Southern Railway vs.
Snorters.
Washington Ten Pin-Pioneers vs. Com
missioners
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

Thomas pitched for both teams.
fMcr'n battsd for Thomas in seventh
Tbr-c-base hit-Judgp. Stolen base-Sswyer. sacri-
zee hit Judgr. Double pIay-Berry to Judge to
AinSmith Left on bases-ReEulArs 4; Yannigans l.
First base on errcrs-Regulars. Bases balls
~ shaw. 2; on Gallia } Hits and earned runs
on shaw hits. in innings; OF GaIlia o
hits. Iuns in innings; on Thomas. o hits runs
I inning OF Craft hits runs in J inning
~ Humphreys. hits. l run in innings; ou
Thomas hit. in > inning Hit by pitcher
BY Ga!lis (Ansmithl. Struck out-By shaw };
By Craft. /: By Gallia. = hg Humphreys /: BY
Thomas . Umpire-Nick Altrock Time Of game
hour q mi1Ites.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
Stock Will Not Sign.

Mobile, Ala. March 12.-Mihok Stoch
third baseman of the Philadelphia Ma,
tionals, wintering here with MS wEe's
relatives, stated today that he would not
report to the training camp OF me PhliN
lies at st. Petersburg, Fla. stock is
holding out on account of the salary
question. He says that rather tran go
back at the money offered him ne viii
remain here and 80 in business with his
father-ip- laws
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

Earned runs-ResularA /; Yannigans l. First
base by errors-RegnlArs. 2; Yannigans. !. Left on
6ases-Regulars, }; Yannisans. T. Innings pitched
By Ayers, 4; by FlahTty. s. by Altrock !; by
Jameson. 4; By Dumont 4. Hits made-Of Ayers,
O.: OF F1aherty. 3; OF Altrock 2: of Jameson. 5;
of Dumont, s. Struck out-By Ayers /; by Flah-
erty. l; BY Dunont, 5. Threebase bits-Shanks
Moran. Twobase hits-Smith. Henry Sacrifice fy
Morgan. Stolen bases-Sauyer. 2: Menoskey L
Double play-Henry to Moran to Morgan to Judge
Wild pitch-Flaherty. Umpire-Clart Griffith.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
CAMP CHATTER
BRAVES.


Miami, Fla, March u. - Manager
otaIiinss. or the Braves. gathered his
players together early today ana gave
them lecture on the faults he had
found In their playing up to date.
After this heart-to-heart talk the
Braves and seminoles battled in their
third game.
RED sox.
Hot Springs. Ark. March l2.-wfth
Carl Mays. the famous pitcher back
In the Red Sox clan, the only remain-
ing holdouts are Hooper. Lewis and
Leonard. The Red Sox got down to
real hard work today
CUBS.
Los Angeles. Cal, March 12.-Phil
Douglas. original You Know Me- AL"
asked Jim Vaughn how many pitchers
the Cubs had on the roster today.
Eighteen." replied Vaughn. Douglas
shook his head mournfully. There's
sho' gonna be some bush league spe-
cial outa Chicago bout April 10" he
said.
|, An osteopath says Larry Doyle's
ankle may keep him on the bench most
or the time until July.
WHITE sox.
Mineral Wells. Texas, March L.
Kid Gleason. frst-mate of the White
Sox crew, Is also umpiring in the
practice games. No
argument-that is real argument-on
decisions. Gleason doesn't fine or ban
ish. He sentences the kicker to wear
a rubber shirt
Four first basemen are lighting II
out-Gandil, Jourdan. Henry and Has
brook.
TIGERS.
Waxahachie. TEXAS. March 12.-with
yesterdays to victory over the Fort
Worth. Texas. team under his belt,
Manager Jennings began speeding his
boys up today and real work. includ
ing the army drills. will be the order
from now on. All the Tigers except
Ing Cobb. Crawford and Witt are now
in camp.
GIANTS.
Marlin. Tex. March lc-George Smith.
Columbia University pitcher. is enjoying
visions OF a regular berth with the Giants
today. Smith held Dallas to five hits and
won his game. to o. Sunday. The Giant
rockies lost 10 Waco. 3 to 2.
DODGERS.
Hot Springs. Ark. March l2.-Manager
Robinson started in today to whip the
Dodgers into shape for their exhibition
games against the Red Sox The Dodgers
nave not forgotten the beatings handed to
them by Boston last fall and have hopes
of getting even
YANKEES.
Macon, Ga, March l2.-Three Yankee
rockies are making the veterans hustle
to hold their jobs. Knaupp. a second
baseman; Monroe, pitcher, and Bankston.
cutfielder. form the trio. Knaupp and
Monroe are certain to start the season
with the team
Shreveport. La, March 12-The Rhine
landers got away TO a flying start in their
spring exhibition workouts yesterday
when they took the local team into camp
I to 0. in a full nine-inning game. Tom
Clarke is hmping from a recent injury
TO his ankle. and several others are
slightly lame.
INDIANS.
New Orleans. La. March IAN en-
iarged repertoire. including q knuckle
ball and a splitter. were revealed today
by Smoky Joe" Wood in his workouts
with Manager Fohl.
I'm not going TO do a Jack Chesbro'
by trying to prolong my major league
career by using these new deliveries"
said Wood. my fast ball. slow ball and
curve ought to be enough to let me take
my regular turn in the box -~-
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
Regulars Defeat
Rockies in First
Ayres Pitches in
Mid season Form
ZACHARY SIGNS UP WITH
CROOKS FREDERICK TrAy

Bob" Zachary. one OF the a,u.
amateur aid collegiate carra -
ever seen in this city. has s,,,.. a
10 play during the coming season
win Tommy Crooks Y ...Ir-,as.
team In the Blue Ridge t.s.-rt
during the seasons Of --ls a-...
IsiS zach" played viii ,~-t,5a,.
University. In l914rand 49,. - a..
with Martinsburg In the ..
Ridge circuits and last year he No.
formed behind the bat for IN.
Steel Plant team' eC the Potomac
League.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

Sew York. March 12.-George M. cohan
s SONG to break into the baseball world
'o". The actor-playwright-prod 1t
secane SHOWN today. probably will buy
Nrge chunk OF stock In the Providence
NC IN the International League, which
i DC Ieorganized Otto knabe has
9 ana Ssr slip. W
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

Larry Gardner, third baseman OF the
Boston Americans. has rlgged up a hand
trap on the fender OF his automobile and
he gets a lot OF sport out OF the sport
alluring" by trying to break the clay
birds while the car Is in motion.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
HAVANA ENTRIES

FIRST RACE-Five And one-hsf furlorgs; 3-year>
olds and upward; claiming. Mai Tour %; Bray,
eS; Lola, q; Palm Leaf, l0S; Purple and Gold.
lO4; Louise Green. lo; Pass On. lo5; Eddie Mott,
los; Yorkshire Boy. Ito; Marvellous 10: Narnoc.
]. v, jr., no.
SECOND RACE-Fve and onehalf furIongs; j.
year-olds and upward; claiming. Little Wonder,
90: Plasciike. %; 'Nino Muchacho. los; Southern
Gold. l05; Felina, lOs; Lily Orme. l0s; Cooper
town. ITO; Sherwood, Ito; Cherry Seed. ITO; San
Jon, ITO.
THIRD RACE-FfVe furlongs: syear-olds and up-
yard claiming DiVan, l0l: Jim Ray, lG; Bulgar,
~: 'sktets. los; Bunice. los Granada. Ill; shad-
rach. 1l0: King Stalwat, lis: Deviltry. lis
FOURTH RACE-Fye furonEs: 3year-oIds and
upward; claiming. -FreShOt, %; Bob Blossom B;
'Lockland, %; Margaret Elhn. l0l 'Donner I0l
Jim L.. lo3; Masurka. lc3; Brown Prince lOe; Miss
Edith los; Elizabeth Lee. lo7; HaPenny, ITO;
Colors, Ill. =.
FIFTH RACE-Ffye and Onehaf furlcngs; Syear-
olds and upward: claiming. Immense, 50: .Cuddle
Up. 20; 'Birdman, lo4; sureget. los; Bulger. los;
Zsli, no.
SIXTH RACE-Mile and ons-sixteenth; 3year.
olds and upward: claiming. Glanaginty, o.; yaIar,
l05; 'Afmeda Lawrence. lG: Insurance Man. l0T
'orperth. Ios: Hedge Rose. no. Celtabel 10; River
King. IA
.Apurcutice allowance claimed
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
OoLUNBIA DUCKPIN LEAGUE,

Portland. oreg.. Is the only city In the
United States that has a trophy COM
petition in which only 2o-guage guns are
allowed.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
'Apprentice allowance claimed.

Between the rat and the shotgun, Mrs
Tony Macarella of New York was bound
TO get il. Terrorized by the rat, she yelled
TO hubby to shoot He shot, wounded
Mrs. Macarella-
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

DISTRICT DUCKPIN LEAGUE
ShrFmana
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
DOWN THE ALLEYS

:. r ANDREWS DUCkPIN LEAGUE
SSlsSmGn Contract
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13

Is. rs S5 o+ Totals. 20 ooo "a
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
Cohan Brakes Into Baseball

'Aprrrntie. allowance claimed.
The Washington herald., 1917-03-13
lsoSIC DUCKPIN LEAGUE.

SO 81 s.! Tot.b....... IS 5ss so
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19
Women s Serge Dresse
At $3.50

Quite the most charming Inexpensive models we
have seen this season They are Of excellent quality
serge choice of navy, copen, brown green on black
some are made with yokes and plated skirts others
with plain waists and plated skirts.
The new collars are Of same material and are
trimmed in embroidery.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19
a q @ n
q D ( s>DO

W0men's black kid button boots, dull KID tops,
vvelted so1es. shaped leather heels
Women's bright kid lace boots with dull kid
tops. wetted solos, shaped leather heels
Women's black and gray kid lace boots with
br1caded tops to match
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19

Women's brown lace boots. cloth tops to
match perforated vamp, imitation tips.
W0men's bright kid lace boots, with ivory
and gray cloth tops, several smart styles.
Women's tan Russia calf lace boots. low heels
cloth tops to match-a typical street shoe.
Women's brown kid lace boots, cloth tops to
ma welt sofes. shaped heels
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19
At 5000
W0man's brown kid lace boots, light we
-oIse. whole quarter stvle. shaped leather heels


Women's bright kid lace boots turn soLeG,
Whole quarters pattern shaped leather heels
Women's tan Russia calf lace boots, neat fit
ia- English last. imitation tips low heels.
Women's champagne kid lace boots. kid vamps
and cloth quarters to match. making light airy shoe
t9 match gowns
Womens brown calf lace boot, welted sole,
neat narrow toe last perforated vamp seams imitation
tips. shaped heels suitable for seni-dress wear
W0men's black kid lace boots welted soLes,
medium toe shaped covered heels also fer semi
dress wear.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19

Women's steel gray kid boots. white ivory
ve-tirg in soes butcher lace styles carrying saaPe1
covered wood heels
Women's gray lace kid boots, new style last
perforated rarnp seams. imitation tips, Louis heels
Toman's silver gray lace boots, made over ez-
trereIv stylish narrow last neatly scaloPed Fann
Ne. 90 u
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-09-19
At S 900

Mems cherry tan calf lace shoes. receding
toes plump heavy single soles have all the ear-ars OF
custom made footwear
Mems gun metal calf lace shoes, .receding
toes. good plump soLes.
Mems cherry calf and gun metal button shoes
cloth tops to match. for young men who want some
thing out Of the ordinary.
Mems Wei kid lace shoes. low toe, a conserva-
rive .a=r that well dressed men viii enjoy wearing
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-01
TIMES DAILY AVERAGE 9n 1hC
FOR OCTOBER. R............... JV,1fJ
"Saue the Waste and Win the War
ONE WAY OF LOSING $40, 900, 900.

MO. its not in the oil business; and isn't IN ZINC
~ mining industry; one way OF losing 2OWow each
twelve months in Oklahoma is by standing idle and letting
the bugs eat that much valuable vegetable life Our au
thority for the figures the best in Oklahoma being Dr.
C. F. Sanborn professor Of entomology at and col
iegc at Saltwater.
Dr. Sanbon spoke in this city yesterday to the school
teachers who were in Oklahoma City to attend their an
nual convention The teachers astonShed when the
scientist told them that the loss Of crops from insects
amounted to well above billion dollars each year in the
United States, of which Oklahomas share is somewhere
around &00o00O0
| Yes, there's a way to stop all this loss Dr. SanboT
tells us il is by having and more birds TO build
nests in the trees Another way is to have more small
lakes on Oklahoma farms the bodies Of water be stocked
with fish that will eat insects by the millions At the
same time the fish will mature and help largely to solve
the food problem that rising like specer every
hand
More rees--thas the call then the birds will come
provided We give them better protection than have in
the past True we've passed laws to protect game and
our state game and fish department is doing fine work
TO increase the number of fish and birds. But lot OF
individual support is going to he needed to make the
general plan a success Dr. Sanborn has told us how &c
save millions Let us heed this expert advice
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-01
THE RAILROAD LOAN.

WHEN congress meets, one Of the interesting bills that
w will claim the attention of the national lawmakers
will be authorizing the secretary OF the treasury to
lend $l0O0O0U0 various railroad companies which need
cars and anxious to obtain loan the basis
as those made to our allies in the war
1t is understood that much opposition will develop to
the proposed bill although there to be general assent
the need of the traffic lines in having additional rolling
stock to handle government traffic well as the in
creased freight shipments caused by active merchandising
Some statesmen declare that the application for gov
ernment loan by railroad executives is cunning scheme
to force congress in to authorize increase
Of freight which has been asked by OF the
traffic lines 1t has been pointed that the railroads
will offer to pledge their net earnings to guarantee the
loan and that when interest day along the rail
road presidents will step up to the cashiers desk and
with detected countenance that the net earnings
not quite enough to pay the interest the federal
loan Right then the obcctors the loan say will be
the opportune time to put in successful plea for the
higher freight rates that poor Uncle Sam will not lose
his interest
Then there arc others who sec in the proposed bill
movement toward federal ownership of railroads Whcr
the bill gets the calendar we're TO see a lively time
on this immensely important question.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-01

Christmas or her birthday comes
around
Maybe it is Just as well that the man
who lies hcncath a hcadStonc doesn't
know that his hcadstone lies above him,
A woman has more patience than
man, She expects to get her reward in
Heaven, but he wants his here on earth.
You can tell a Corn Fed girl that she
is worth her weight in gold, but that
won't make her anxious to take on
weight
II often surprises man how little
weight his words carry when he doesn't
weigh his words,
The first months of married life may
be fair and pleasant But you must
expect an occasional squall after the
baby comes along
Some mothers who see no harm in
the nurse yanking Baby up by the arm
would fire the nurse il she ever yanked
fldo up by the tail
They claim that the camera cannot
lie. But a photographer would Starvc
to death If he couldn't make a warl on
a woman's face look like a dimple in
her pictures.
When a man tells his troubles to his
wife, she sees to it that the poor boob
has plenty to tell