The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-06-22
innocent bird, into the opening Of the
net intended for me-"


err Hes going to cryr' and the like
Here. fell was going to say fel
low bachelors; alas, l can call you
such no longer!-I took that first steI
which leads to the f1nal, inevitable fall
l turned and Joined her. Like the In
ebriate who sips the first glass of wine
that he knows will drag him down tC
his ruin. submitted myself to a pres
ence which l knew would steal away
my brains. might as well have swal
lowed laudanum."
run for a stomach pumpr"
walk him!'
Pour water down his throaty"
These and other such calls came
from the unsympathetic members OF
the club. The benedict continued bis
confession:
My intention, gentlemen, in joining
her-so persuaded myself; whom the
gods wish to destroy they first make
mad'-was to say something to her to
cause her to desist in her intention to
enslave me. I began in this wise: If
my circumstances were such as to en-
able me to marry l should esteem my
self honored beyond measure in being
invited by a lady in every way so cal
culated to inspire my esteem. But my
income, only $4,000 year. is barely
enough for my own
Cries Of Dead give away!" Selfish
, brute" "I'll bet she's going to cry!"
"Who said cry? asked the confessor
surprised.
Il did, replied the homeliest member
That's exactly what she did"
Il knew it," said the homeliest mem
Der. "A member of the club told me
in confidence that certain instructions
are laid down for the girls, the princi-
pal Of which is to cry"
The confessor groaned and went on:
I'VE were walking toward the girls
home and at this point reached her
door. She burst into a passion of tears
and ran into the house. shutting the
door behind her.
Il stood looking vaguely about me,
not knowing just what to do. wished
policeman would come along and run
me in. l had an underlined sense of
having comSsitted crime. 1t seemed
to me that had plunged dagger into
the heart Of the girl who had left me.
l went to my club, lighted cigar,
smoked 1t two minutes and threw II
away. I went into the billiard room,
knocked the balls about for two min
utes more, threw down my cue and.
showing my hands in my pockets, walk
ed up and down in the hallway. Sew
eral of my friends came in, but some
how wanted to get rid of them. They
all wanted to know what was the mat
ter with me. One Of them pestered
me, telling me about some liver pills
he had used with great effect.
81 dined at the club with another.
1 surprised him by ordering my des-
sert Immediately after the soup and
undertook to carve a bird In cross sec
tions. You see, the poison had entered
my blood and was crawling through
the veins to the heart. When the din
ner was over I told my friend l was
sick and was going home to bed.
lied. l had never before told a deliber-
ate lie. You see, the effect Of this In
dian flower with its noxious but ecstat-
ic perfume, Facilis descensus Averni,
which, being interpreted, means, When
a man makes false step the descent
into iniquity is easy
when one has committed crime he
feels an irresistible desire to visit the
. hn
where my crime had been perpetrated
was few steps from the home of the
girl who had inoculated me. went
there. l was possessed with desire
to apologize for a sin hadn't commit
ted. rang the bell. went into the
house and sent up my card"
"Gone up"' cried voice.
Hell never go there any more" said
another.
Gentlemen" continued the confess
sor, Il sat with wildly beating heart In
the drawing room till heard rustic
Of skirts and a tap of a tiny heel on
the staircase. moment later there
In the doorway stood-what shall
call TIA vision of loveliness.
dream
Gentlemen, | have finished"
"Go onr' Don't wish I'd had one
like thatr' Peaches and cream are
nothing to it, and other such indeli-
cate, or, at least. irreverent, cries filed
the room The president raped for
order
Fellow bachelors" he said, I'VE have
all listened to the confession Of our
unfortunate ex-member. and / know
there Is not one of US who has not lis
tened with exuberant sympathy. Ex-
pressions Of opinion as to the amount
Of the fine he shall pay are now in or
der. You are aware that the amount
lies between 500 and $780,"
"I move" cried a voice that on ac-
count Of the united pressure brought to
bear and the boycott Unusual circum
stances) the fine be remitted entirely"
"And | move.' said another, that
the fine be doubled. It's my opinion
that our ex-brother was a willing vic