davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
D,ARTAGNAN TO PERsHING

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
 Gazing gaily down from his panel in the rotunda of the Hospital des Invalides overlooking the tomb of Napoleon, says D D'Artagnan-"H Hail to thee, Black Jack Pershing! One for all and all for one, I cry you a merry welcome to France. But yester morn twas Aramis advised be of your coming! The noble Athos drank a beaker with the Baron du Vallon in your acclaim. Meet the four of us this night by the statue of Alexander Dumas in Pere la Chaise and thou shalt be in- ducted to the rights and honors, yea, the very mysteries, of the Brotherhood of Les Trois Mousquetaires And says Black Jack Pershing: Beloved ghost. dougt not shall De there. Nor yet alone; for I shall bring with me the spirits of Daniel Boone and Dayie Crockett, not to mention Paul Jones and Mad Anthony Wayne, who cannot be unknown to thee! They, too, would be enrolled i'll thy noble Order" And Napoleon, turning over in his coffin, exclaimed "If there is to be a contest for the royalties of fighting about the grave of that immortal Nigger, count me ini'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
A WARNING TO NovELIsTs

From the London Globe.
 It is about time that our novelists be-
 stirred themselves, and prepared for the
 after-war period. Peace may break out
 and find them totally unready.
 At present, of course, all is we'll with this industrious class With heroic sub- alterns and smooth speaking, square headed spies, and lovely amateur nurses to put through their well practice paces, they can carry on
 But the time will come when they will
 have to find an entirely fresh set of puppets. They cannot go back to the pre-war characters. Never particularly realistic, these will be utterly impos- sibie in the new world after the war Our standards will all have changed; and the most guileless stenographer will revolt at the dilettante dukes and male vclent marquesses, in whose doings anc | savings she reveled at one time. Wher everybody works, the establishment with 26 servants will be 'old stuff" ever l in the pages of ''narcissus novels.'' | Our popular fiction factors will have ! to scrap the old marionettes and takt look at the world as it will be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13

From the Pittsburg Post.
 6N HE strong arm of the Duke of
 Wellington was felt everywhere
 2 in England during his long career as politician and soldier, and 1t seemed to dominate generally but in his own home. As soldier his sternness won for him the title of "The Iron Duke, but his strong will power failed com pletely when 1t came to dominating In his domestic affairs.
 Unfortunately in the choice of wife Wellington was the victim of an un- happy home and an ill-mated marriage. At Waterloo he was able to make the armies of Napoleon waver before nln' but at his own fireside he was so little the ster that he absented himself from home just as much as possible.
 In the first place, Lady Wellington was always utterly unsympathetic to the personal interests of her distinguished husband. Before Wellington had won his fame, he approached Lord Longford with request for the hand of his daughter Catherine in marriage. This was refused because the young soldier had but a meager income, and it was not considered a suitable match.
 Piqued through the disappointment, Wellington went to India, and remained there number of years without com municating with Catherine. Here he won fame as soldier, and upon his re- turn home he found less objection on the part of Longford. He renewed his suit and Lady Catherine received him with open arms. Wellington longed for a home something he had really never en- joyed for his parents died when he was quite young. They were married.
 Shortly after the wedding Wellington
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
A FORGOTTEN BEST SELLER

'Northanger Abbey" but Horace Wal pole writing to Hannah More said ne really did not care to say how little he liked 1t.
 Mime. D'Arblay's fame (she had married French exile in 179S) mus rest chiefly upon her Diary" She haa known the great of the world of Lon don through a long and stirring pe- riod of history and they all appear IF the pages of this entertaining work She had been during some years keep CT of the robes to Queen Charlotte anc she made royalty talk and act inti- mately for her readers. She saw mucr history made in France both during the empire and the hundred days. She was in Brussels when Waterloo was fought and Thackeray is believed te have drawn upon the Diary" for the incidents connected with that battle in Vanity Fair" But it must be be lieved that as novelist Fanny Bur. ney is almost forgotten
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
LIKE M,LuKE SAYS

Any unmarried girl who has reached the age of 30 can tell you that early marriages are to be advised against
 Any time you think that woman can't listen quietly when someone else
 is talking, just get a glimpse at one who has her ear to keyhole.
 Another cheerful liar is the lad who tells you about all the fine positions he is offered and who has to stick to his same old $20-per-week job. A woman's idea of economy is how
 much car fare they could save if her | husband only had sense enough to get an automobile. After carefully preparing speech and committing it to memory and re- I hearsing it for four weeks, man will get up and start in with the statement | that he did not expect to speak on this l occasion.
 | And there wouldn't be so much trouble in this world if a girl devoted at least
 as much attention to selecting her hus band as she does to selecting her hat
 No man ever joined the new thought or Christian Science cult while he was
 suffering from tootha che. 1 There are lot of folks in this word who burn their bridges before they reach them.
 | Once in awhile a married woman i: I almost as much disappointed in hel !, dressmaker as she is in her husband. Tell man something that he knows
 and he will regard you as philosopher Tell him something that he doesn t know ! and he will regard you as a liar. l Ever notice that a waiter receives z l tip in a manner that indicates that he l expected more?
 l Some of the women folks have learned I how to sharpen lead pencils But the, | all get off a street car the same way. When you are in a movie show ant hear a lot of pop-eyed boobs applaud ing the hero and hissng the villun i, the fillum, it Is hard to realize that w
 have compulsory education in thi country.
 Any man who has been married longe than that can tell you that the 30 years war wasn't the longest in history
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Exeolliag the Worth of the Derby Hat

WHERE are all the derby hats
 WV of yesterday?" asks the Providence Journal, which seems to think this time-honored headgear has gone to join the hoop-skirt and side whiskers.
 But the Journal is mistaken. While nobody with the price of "straw' wants to wear derby hat in summer time, it still has it's uses during cold weather. It is true that the derby IS in sense fragile It never looks the same after having been stepped on or sat on, but what other hat of all the head covering invented by man can equal 1t in longevity? In few weeks a straw hat, particularly in Birmingham, looks like a relic of the ash barrel, and only by dint' of re- peated cleanings can 1t endure for brief season. Soft hats won't stand half the wear and tear a derby does, and furthermore they have an alarm ing tendency to lose color and shape.
 There are derbies of ancient vim tage that have been worn, to the neighbors' certain knowledge, for years and they still keep off the rain. And for holding it's shape in all weathers, a derby is the envy of the fat woman who can't hold hers.
 Bestow upon it kicks and cuffs and senseless jibes, but the old reliable derby is going to finger in our midst while freakish hats come and go.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
A KING OF TANG

By Wang Pc, A. D. 64S-676. There looms a lordly pleasure tower
 OCT yon dim shore,
 Raised by some King of Tang, Jade pendants at his girdle clashed, and
 the golden bells
 Around his chariot rang. Strange guests through sounding halls al
 dawn go trailing by.
 Gray mlsts and mockfng winds; And sullen breeding twilights break in rain on rain. To lash the ragged blinds. The slow, sun-dappled clouds lean down OCT waters blue, Clear mirrored one by one; Then drift as all the world shall drift The very stars Their timeless courses run. How many autumn moons have steeped those palace wallsi And paled the shattered beams. What is there royal builder now? A Lolk
 of dust?
 An Emperor of dreams? f8
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13

From the Kansas City Star.
 0 S7 OW many readers who were re-
 JHl minded of Jane Austen sy
 = reading in "Friends from the
 Boo,x Shelf" in the Star the other day
 that she had been dead a hundred
 years. were also reminded thereby of
 Miss Austen's great contemporary
 Mme D'Arblay? Not many, perhaps.
 Not many even If we count those who
 recognize In Mme. D'Arblay the Eng
 fish authoress, Fanny Burney.
 Yet Miss Burney's fame was estab-
 lished long before the author of Sense
 and Sensibility" had been heard of. So
 secure was it, indeed, that in almost
 the same year in which that novel was
 brought out, and for which Miss Aus
 ten received f170. Mime. D'Arblay pub lished "The wanderer. or Female Diff hculties," and was paid f7000 for 1t. True, 1t has been said of "The Wan
  fish public bought it because it was written by the author of "Evelina, or a Young Lady's Entrance Into the World" a book that brought her the friendship and admiration of the great Burke. Sir Joshua Reynolds. Sheridan, Garrick, Doctor Johnson praised it. and this young woman of 26 woke up. like Byron, to find herself famous. All ready she had begun the celebrated "Diary" that was to extend over a pe-
 riod of 72 years
 Mme. DArblay Is not to be com pared to Miss Austen as novelist A girl who grew up under the literary l influence of Doctor Johnson and wrote l five-volume novels in which all the characters talked like Doctor Johnson would be likely to lack something of | the lighter qualities that entertain In l fiction Sir Joshua Reynolds sat up all night to read "Eyelina.' but Sir Joshua heard the clock strike. "Eveiina" was published in TITS and four years later 1 was followed by "Cecelia, or Memoirs I of an Heiress" Macaulay says she got ] f20O0 for 1t. There were five volumes l of it and it's style can be guessed at by the fact that Edmund Burke great lily admired and eulogized it. Present ! day readers do not. however. take readily to novels written in the style | of "Reflections of the Revolution in 1 France" Another five-volume novel, "Camilla. or a Picture of Youth" ap-
 peared in 17ss. Miss Austen admired it and drew upon 1t in her novel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Children to Sing

We expect to have a great time at Capitol park next Sunday afternoon, . said Robert Lawrence, director of the community singing in Birmingham. The services for the afternoon will be espe- cially for children and the day has been designated as the children's day of the community singing. We exepct to have the older people just as usual, or perhaps larger number of them, and a great crowd of children. Children certainly will try their best to sing when they are asked, and they are going to do some good singing next Sunday, we believe. We hope to make it as delightful for every one as possible"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
lAMlMaps1eH.
WHY THEY BURIED HIM

From the Iopeka Journal.
 Tt is rule to which most good law yers adhere observed a well known attorney. never to sell more than one knows. There was an incident in a western town where lawyer carried the rule to the extreme.
 Counsel for one side objected to a person, whose name was on the court 8 register for some purpose or other, on the ground that he was dead. The coun- sel on the other side declined to accept the assurance and demanded conclusive testimony on the point.
 "Whereupon counsel for the other side arose and gave corroborative evidence as to the decease of the man in ques- tion.
 But, sir how do you know the mans dead?" demanded opposing counsel.
 s'Well.' was the reply. I don't know. It's very difficult to prove AS I suspected. You don't know whether he's dead or not "'No But I know this-they buried him about month ago on suspicion!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
DUKE OF WELLINGTON

gagged to another during his absence But the engagement was broken of when the word came that he was rel turing home full of honors. The duka felt he had been deceived and he rel scented the deception. The coming i'd light of each successive imperfection il his wife intensified his sorrows, and made him feel that the many honors| that were being heaped upon him by th1 British nation were hardly worth whileI
 When he was engrossed in the affairE| of state Lady Wellington did not takf| any interest in his views or share hi] anxieties. In every way she was uS; qualified to fill the high position tI which the Duchess of Wellington right fully belonged They differed even ilI the smallest matters, and their tastei seldom agreed.
 One thing which resulted in great unl easiness to the duke, and caused him much displeasure, was his wife's habit of admiring him in public. She loved to show off her famous husband which was, of course, painfully distaste( ful. In spite or the Idcl tnat she "a given a liberal allowance, she insiste$ upon running into debt. Wellington uncop genial home life made him an unI demonstrative father and he never played with his children nor made com1 panions of them.
 The duke once complained to con- fidant of the extravaganza, insinceritJ and flightiness of the duchess, but afte1 her death he hardly ever mentioned hel name Disappointment in marriage wat the one tragedy that came into the liff of England's greatest soldier. Despite his great activity, his life during his las' years was lonesome one He never f,c inan
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Crops in Marshall

Crops in Marshall county are looking fine,' said Edward L. Barrett. T have just returned to Birmingham from a trip through Marshall and adjoining counties and found that the outlook Is pleasing. The cotton crop, while it was planted a little late, and only in comparatively small quantities, is looking healthy and promises to make a good crop In all sections of the county the planters have had good rains and the farmers say they will make a big crop"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Negroes Scarce
 But Crops Large


 1T T was feared that the negro exodus 4 from the south in the early part of the year would make it difficult, if not impossible, for Alabama to in- crease it's food crops, so earnestly urged by the United States agricul- tural department. But the corn crop of this state promises to be the larg- est in it's history; something like two million bushels more than that of 1915, which was a record breaker. Other food crops are larger than usual and as for the raising of live stock, there is a great gain over last year.
 Since crop diversification has come to be the policy" of the south, and especially of Alabama, the cotton acreage is comparatively small If a normal crop of cotton had been at tempted the negro would be more missed than he is. He made a mis- take in leaving Dixieland, and when he returns, as many of him" will, he will be welcomed.
 But the white people of the south can do wonders when they try, un- aided by colored labor And the har- vest of this year will prove it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Pleasant Days

Tt is very much to my regret that cannot be in school in Birmingham again this fall,' said Thomas NIGEL hainey. Last year I attended Howard college I very much enjoyed the year out there and the course of instruction took, am sure, will be of much bene- fit to me for many years. I am going to study medicine at Tulane next year and am anticipating a good year there, for know it also is a good school, but it is not like being in school here at old Howard. I will not soon forget the pleasant days I spent there.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Publishers Invite

Federal Supervision
 A T it's recent convention in Ashe- A vile the Southern Newspaper publishers association passed a reso- lution urging that the federal trade commission be given power to control the manufacture and sale of news print paper. Under this plant the production, distribution and price of news print paper would be determined by government authority. Manufac- lures, jobbers and publishers would all be subject to the governments s rulings in carrying on their business.
 While it is the earnest desire of publishers everywhere to buy paper as cheap as possible, consistent with sound business methods, and thus tighten one of the heaviest burdens they have to bear, The Age-Herald believes that the news print problem can be solved satisfactorily without federal supervision.
 It would seem that self interest led the publishers association to indorse a plan which is too drastic and in wolves too much paternalism. The American government is rapidly be- coming paternal in it's functions, be- cause of the war, but there is world of difference between food control and paper control, which would mean in the long run the control of the publishing business. One is necessary to win victory for America and her allies, while the other is simply a matter which concerns certain class of business men and has no bearing on the war situation, either in America or abroad.
 If the present tendency toward turning everything over to the gov ernment is continued, there is no telling where it may stop. It is but a step from government supervision of one business to another-from control of products vital to the successful
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Watch Your Teeth

When I first began to hear the doc tors attribute so many things to un- sound teeth," said Judge H. P. Heflin, T thought it was ust a new fad and would pass away, but I have learned that they never told one-half of what defective teeth can do, for I have been undergoing a siege with mine and have lost IT pounds through malnutrition. of them pulled out and am beginning to pull myself together
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Made Allowance

Tn the present time we see and hear much of the people who always give tit for tat and in fact there are a great number of people who bear that spirit" said Dr. George Stuart, pastor of the First Methodist church. T very much admire the spirit of the good na- tured man who was kicked by a mule. That will be all right he said I am not going to do anything to you to try to get revenge. I'll just let you off by remembering who your father was.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13


 manufacturers have intelligence enough to settle their own differ ences on a fair and amicable basis. IPresidemG's Protest
 and Fervid Appeal ! 1B RESIDENT WILSON'S protest 4 and appeal to the business in terests of the country-mine opera tors and manufacturers-"to put aside every selfish consideration and to give their aid to the nation as freely as those who go out to offer their lives on the battlefield" issued Wednesday night, was timely and telling. As it was written to meet conditions of the immediate present, it will not have the place in history that other documents of state must occupy, but it is as Illuminating in it's wisdom and as stimulating in it's patriotic fervor as anything that has eminated from the Presidents heart and brain.
 MT. Wilson is distinguished for his fresh and forceful English. In this appeal his power of expression has, perhaps, never been surpassed. Just prices will be paid by the gov ernment and the public during the war, but the President warned bus1- ness men that no extortion will be tolerated. MT. Wilson expressed con- fidence that business in general would be found loyal to the last degree and declared that the problem of "war- time prices," which would mean "vic- tory or defeat" would be solved rightly through patriotic co-opera- tion.
 In explaining what was meant by just price the President showed a clear apprehension of the law of busi- ness economy, and he laid down those principles by which the conscience of the business world could be recon ciled with concrete action. Only truth and justice will exalt the commercial life of nation just as it requires righteousness to exalt nation itself.
 Patriotism" asserts MT. Wilson in one of his most moving passages, "leaves profits out of the question. In these days of our supreme trial, when we are sending hundreds of thousands of our young men across the seas to serve great cause, no true man who stays behind to work for them and sustain them Dy his labor will ask himself what he is per sonally going to make out of that labor. No true patriot will permit himself to take toll of their patriot ism in money or seek to grow rich by the shedding of their blood" An appeal such as this was sorely needed. It may not prick the con- science of everyone for whom it was intended, but if it does not make the l desired impression on the great ma jority of them, then business inter- ests must be hopelessly callous. But the class whom President Wilson Is seeking to reach will, it is be- lieved, ponder and act as becomes all genuine patriots.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
AN INEXPENSIVE JOURNEY

AN INEXPENSIVE JOURNEY I took trip to fairyland
 That did not cost a cent; A railroad folder came to me, And that was how I went. Mid scenes of magic loveliness l let my fancy roam And thus. a little while, at least, Was very far from home. The mountains lowered wondrous high, With snow upon their peaks, And rugged valleys lay below The kind trapper seeks. Cool winds of make-believe sprang up And drove the heat away, And as L turned the pictured page I had a holiday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
Steady March of
RuliH1g Dernocracies

10 EPUBLICS are more and more 4N in vogue and the time is not far distant when monarchies will be extremely rare. The English will hold tenaciously to the crown, but the British monarchy is only monarchy in name. In no country in the world is democracy more triumphant than it is in England. Public sentiment, developed through agitation in the press and on the hustings, rules there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
ALWAYS SOMETHING MORE

By Robert Louis Stevenson.
 There Is no end indeed to making books or experiments, or to travel, or te gathering wealth. Problem gives rise te problem. We may study forever. and we are never so learned as we would We have never made a statue worthy oi our dreams. And when we have discov. cred a continent, or crossed a chain ol mountains. it is only to find anotheS ocean or another plain upon the farther side. In the infinite universe there, ii room for our swiftest diligence.>an tt spare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
HOTEL LOBBIES
AIabama can Feed Itself

T made the trip from Columbus, Ga, to Montgomery" said Rev George E. Brewer of Notasuga, for years state chaplain and I was greatly heartened to see the wonderful crop prospects. I believe for once Alabama is going to feed itself and save the money that has been going west We have the lands, the water, the climate, and the people, and it's a shame that we have not heretofore been self-sustaining in the way of food for man and forage for cattle"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
BLOW ro A HELPFUL sPIR11

BLOW TO A HELPFUL SPIRIT
 Are you knitting anything for tt soldiers?"
 Pm trying" said the petulant beaut, but I'm dreadfully discouraged"
 why so?'
 rI'd much prefer to make sofa pillow for the boys, but everybody seems { think they would be out of place in tt trenches"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-07-13
MUCH TO LEARN

"Dubwaite tells me that he is practic- ing strict economy"
 But he still maintains several auto mobiles and Mrs Dubwaite has a great many more clothes than she needs.'
 I'm afraid the Dubwaites are like a great many other families in America. They will have to practice economy a long time before they acquire proficiency in the art"