The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-09-26
"Good Morning, Judge ?
Human Interest Stories Of
Police Court Happenings.
RUDOLPH
PERKINS

a new suit every day, great big far
ing pink sleeve-holders, has a little
caterpillar moustache on his upper
Up. smells like the five-and-ten-cent
store. wears a noisy necktie, spats,
white vest and patent leather shoes.
Some baby! His mother raised him
from a real little fellow.
.. The girls are just plum batty over
| this Ethiopian Beau Brummel. That
is. all except his wife.
Some time ago a distant relative
died and he came in on the insur-
ance money. He stopped work. WHEY
soon had to take in washing.
Monday afternoon he was walking
down Sixth street and someone made
remark about his being =, fool
niger, strutting around like a ban
tam rooster while his wife sHeated
at the tub"
fight followed and Ha ~ got
mussed UP for fair. He also was ar
rested. A woman testified who saw
the scrap. She also said she had
been going with Harry. thinning him
single.
Harry promised to put on his work
ing clothes and relieve wiley fem the
tub, and was paroled for six months,
at her request.
A Horrible Crime.
Would you rather pay this woman
IS or go to jail?" the court asked
Herbert Johnson, charged with jump
Ing his board bill.
We'll. II it's all the same to you,
judge" replied Herbert, 81 will pay
the six and stay on the oLtside."
A man who Jumps a board bill
these days does something almost as
bad as murder. 1t is actually high
way robbery and exceedingly cruel.
The court says n man sneaking
out the back way with his suit case
is as bad as robbins the Banl, Of Eng
land.
And that is what Herbert did, only
he never thought his Iandlady was
| looking.
He went to another house and paid
his board in advance.
He was trailed al the -ay.
When the cops nabhei him, Her
bert swore he diiln't know anything
about 1t. But TIC police wanted %
know why he sneaked out. That dues-
ton stumped him.
If he don't come o"ross with the Sc
bill. he will have 4 chance to board
with the governn cnt for thirty DAYS,
and he won't have to pay for it with
anything but hard Ncrk.
The DoIefuI Days Are Near.
Judge. IL you will put me on pro.
hibition, I'll never touch another
| drop" pleaded Nelson Keagle.
You mean probation" suggested
the court. prohibition will be here
November the LIST anyhow"
Nelson was charged with destroy
ing private property (the German
method, being drunk and disorderly.
He got soused on the job, got fired
and came home to take it out on his
family.
He smashed every dish and orna-
ment in the house where he and his
wife lived. The goods belonged to
the landlady. That didn't make any
diff-o-bittance. WHEY ran out Of the
house and summoned Policeman Doo-
lin. He is an Irishman and he hand
led Nelson like he was just weeks
old.
When WHEY told the story about
Nelson's ramrage the court decided
to send him to Jail. This didn't
SdtlSiy "lIey, because as bad as Nell
son was he works and pays the board
bill once in a while. And so wiley
pleaded with the court to SUSPEND
sentence, which was done.
Are You Married.
Every time Joe Springer saves up
some money. something happens and
he has to get rid of 1t.
Tough luck,
Last week he had s237 saved up.
He's married man and eggs are
worth so cents a dozen.
He did something marvellous. This
$2.5 was In a vase on the bedroom
manteL He thought no one knew it.
It's no use trying to fool the
women. They know all about every
thing.
Anyhow WHEY bought a new hat.
Joe thought it was real pretty and
congratulated her on her taste and
her thriftiness.
Poor fish, II he only knew,
The other night Joe had a peculiar
feeling. He was irresistably drawn
toward the vase on the mantel He
shook it. 1t was empty. His heart
jumped up in his throat.
He got mighty mad. He thought
Of the new hat lying across the bed.