The Washington herald., 1917-12-18

Once there was a woman who need
ed some Christmas money. She set
about to get some, lest she be en-
barrassed later on.
Instead of going in her husbands $
pants pocket, like other women do.
she went through those Of her en-
ployer.
He couldn't resist, because he was
sick ahed. She sneaked in when he
was asleep and performed the ancient
and honorable touch"
After this touch" the woman got
'sick" and asked the wife Of the man
she robbed, could she so. home Oh,
yes, she could, poor thing.
When the man awolSe and looked in
his pants pocket, he thought he knew
who did it. But he was mistaken. He
accused the wrong woman.
After a little gumshoe work the
crime was fastened where it belonged.
The thief was given twenty-four
hours to come across with the hard
cash.
She couldn't do It. 1t was too hard
Money was too scarce, almost as
scarce as coal.
Birdie Robinson, she of the gentle
TOUCH" must serve thirty days, one
day less than the number Of dollars
she pinched.
Another Hobson.
Gillian Hobson 0rom Alabama), was
walking around the street SUNDAY
afternoon with an empty feeling In
his breadbasket.
The friends who were with him sug-
gested that they 60 into a Greek
restaurant and get some Irish stew.
They went. After sitting there
about a minute. Hobson complained
: about the slowness of the service. It
was quite unlike the Willard he toIa
! the waiter.
Some hard words followed. Then
profanity. Hobson and crowd were
told to vamoose. They refused. Then
they were put out
| AS he got to the door, a cop nabbed
Hobson and "frisked" him. A gun
and razor were found on him.
| He was locked up. His friends
were turned loose. The police ais
quite sure they prevented a murder.
! In court Hobson said he used the
razor to shave with. The court in
quired who he was going to shave
with the gun. He couldn't say.
So the court said ninety days, jusr
as easy as could be.
It's . Cold. Cold World.
Sunday afternoon Bill Gibbs
stood out on the street cursing his
luck and the cold Weather. He
hadn't an overcoat to his name.
So he sneaked into q hotel and
hung around the cloakroom. 1t was
not long before he spied several
nice overcoats which he decided to
possess.
When no one was looking he
stole one. He sneaked out and tried
It on. But, darn 1t all, it didn't
He swiped another. That didn't
mt. He swiped a third. All, this
one mt him like the paper on the
wall.
In the meantime the owners of
the coats got busy. So did the po-
lice. Soon Bill was in a narrow
cell.
One of the coats had money in
1t. What Bill did with 1t, good
ness only knows.
When he gets out of jail, he won't
need an overcoat. He will need a
Palm Beach suit. The court gave
him four months.
Agnes Needs Life Insurance.
Judge. my husband told me to pre-
pare myself for another world. He
told me to say my prayers three times
day.
He said that he was practicing to
stay in jail Q lcng time. He was get
ting used to a narrow room. He said
he was going to kill me-"
We'll, what is he doing all that
for?" the court asked Agnes White,
who had her hubby. Bob White, ar
rested for threats.
don't know. Judge" answered
Agnes. Hes been telling me that for
long time and am agraid he's
FOOLISH enough to keep his word"
1T was all a dream, Judge" spoke
up Bob. Il was telling her about a
dream l had and she thought I was
talking about her."
Bob and his wife have been sep
arated. This makes the third time
that she has brought him into court
to make him behave himself.
The court told him he must furnish
n real eefafa hr,,S - <oon -. = - - !,