The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-09-28
Mans Folly.

Il
ter-looldng man than you are. It's
an awful mistake and you'n regret
1t all your life.
Jesse Coates did 1t. Very thought
lessiy he introduced Eleanor Grew
to Harry Kline Harry was a good
friend OF his and Jesse thought Il
perfectly safe. The test of a man
friendship for another man is 10
introduce him to your sweetheart.
Then note the results.
Eleanor got to be awful fond of
Harry. In fact, her head was SWIM
ming. Compared to Jesse, Harry was
regular Beau Brummel. Harry had
more money. more style. and he
/ could out-kiss Jesse a mile and a
quarter
A wide gap appeared between the
two men. Most natural thing in the
world
Jesse's patience gave out when FL
eanor gave Harry a ring. He had
worked SO hard to get money for
that ring.
He selected a neat-looking brick and
handed 1t to Harry.
Harry had his head all tied up.
Jesse has 90 days.
It's Cheaper Mt the willard.
Joe Merriam roomed at the house
of Stanley Holmes. He paid rs cents
a week room rent. S'not at all bad
as far as price goes.
One morning Joe's valet was late
In waking him up an he decided to
quit the premises. He followed the
horses for profession and it would
never do to be late.
But he forgot to ask for his bill
when he left. oh, well, twas a small
matter. he thought.
Stanley spotted him last Tuesday
and asked him about the cash.
Joe was talking to his girl at the
time and 1t embarrassed him right
smart.
Stanley had the nerve OF a gov
eminent mule, anyhow. Joes girl
might think he was a piker and shake
him. Then there would be trouble.
Stanley asked again for his money
in loud and unmistakable tones. Joe
told his girl to wait a minute, he
had some business to attend to.
He banged Stanley in the jaw, loos-
ened four teeth and made his nose
bleed. Not far away was a COP,
NONAN 10 put a EtOD
to these doings and fined Joe SO.
The KaIsers' Allies.
1t is no wonder the shipping board
had a wransle about steel for ships.
Steel was scarce. Dick Garnett and
Pinkey Wood were taking the steel.
So how could they build ships. II
these boys were turned loose in Pitts
burg. the town would have to shut
up shop. S'no joke.
They used a Missouri mule and
wagon to haul it away from a place
out on Bennings Road. The mule was
innocent, but he was an accessory.
That is why We mention him.
Policeman Little, a great big man.
saw the crime being COMMITTED and
asked the boys in the name OF denoc-
racy to let the steel alone.
They said they would think about
it for awhile. but Little got a little
impatient and locked up the whole
outfit.
Judge Pugh said he would have to
do something with the boys, else we
might wake up some morning and
find the navy yard denuded Of its
sixteen-inch guns. He fined them S
each. Sail so simple.
It Sure VIII Knock EN-.
Rachael Robinson was almost
killed. She was kicked on the shins
by Ella Smith. 1t was all about
man.
This man was RacheTs husband.
and he was trotting down the street
with Ellen. And Ellen's beau was
walking around with Rachel. They
urara "a
They met. Rachel called to her
husband to return to the fireside.
Ellen held him back and whisper
ed in his ear that Rachel had
man with her and she didn't need
him.
Rachel was impatient. She walk
ed over where Ellen was. leaving
Ellen's beau to watch IT all. and
fight started. Both men had sense
enough to duck and let the ladies
fight il out.
A bottle was broken over some
ones head end Rachel took the
count with a kick right on the
shin. Ellen knew OF the vital spot.
Rachel was arrested. The court
thought that both were to blame
and let Ellen go.
A One Legged jug.
North Carolina is very dry. But
IL is no drier than the throat OF
Otis Wren.
He hiked to town to buy a wood
en- leg. While waiting to have it
made he strolled around. He drank
several rounds.
He went into a Greek restaurant
and ordered some lunch.
When the waiter handed him the
grub. pandemonium started.
One dish was full of wiggling,
twisting. squirming. little white
worms. He yelled for the boss.
Dem is no snake" the boss said.
Dem is vot you call da spagett."
Otis couldn't see it that way. He
was absolutely sure that they were
coming toward his shirt front to
crawl in.
He smashed the waiter in the
jaw. He ran out into the arms OF
a cop. His one leg hampered him
a little.
The court was assured Otis was