South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1917-08-05

u
, eyes out" ever since IL happened
She went to a girl friend, whose
I best fellow didn't wait TO be drafted
and who is now in a training camp,
to seek consolation. She was sure
/ he couldn't pass the medical exam
ination. He had every disease
known 20 the medical fraternity
As she related his ailments her eyes
| hlleG with tears. She awaited her
friends commiseration. Here's what
she got; We'll, If your friend has
! all those diseases, surely you don't
intend TO marry him! You would
be a darn fool. An invalid Of that
sort would be worse than no hus-
| band at ALI"
One of these same kind writes us
| thus Il wish you were young
enough 10 be drafted in the army"
Thanks for them noble sentiments.
Nothing would please US more than
TO be able 10 shuck those % years
and join our wellwisher in the thir-
ties.
The Russian jolt didn't shake US
much. It's effect will not be any
thing more than prolonging the
war and requiring our putting into
the field about 100000 at cost
of the trifing sum Of $15.OOO.O0O,OO
Some Of our local salesladies have
been attending a corset-ftting con-
vention at Chicago, but the proceed
ings do not enlighten us as to
whether Il was a round bale or
square bale affair.
Stanley Mcintosh leaves for his
old Kentucky home this morning
He mas been yearning for some time
for corn bread and contraband, alias
Kentucky hardware
In the summer time it is hard TO
tell whether a wife values her hus-
band most as her meal ticket or her
railway fare
In Denver one of the first men
drawn was a William Jennings
Bryan, who doesn't believe in grape
juice. is not a pacifst and who won't
claim an exemption. This bryan is
an uncommoner.
The advice economic in gaso-
line and save life" is not going to
appeal to the speedocracy. Have
you noticed any particular regard for
human life among the gasolunatics?
Cupid or Cookery" is the theme
of an effusion sent us this past
week. Not Cupid or Cookery" |
surely, but Cupid and Cookery
the team that is invircible
The secretary OF war suggests a |
tax Of five cents on all bundles de-
livered by stores This. OF course, |
would not affect the package the !
old man takes home, because the |
government has already collected a |
tax of $40 a gallon on that
Some partisans are so narrow and |
vindictive that they would be glad |
put under tribute rather than that |
their views should prove erroneous. |
Now that the east-end bridge has /
been held NO indefinitely would il /
not be a good time to get busy on |
tcat foot bridge across the river at |
West st?
Drs. Feigler. Graham and ivan |
RE of Mishawaka got their faces in |
the papers this past week. Some |
effete South Benders expressed sur /
prise that Mishawaka should have |
so many good looking doctors. while |
one fair matron phoned over to find /
out if any Of them were single. |
Imagine any Mishawaka man going 4
10 South BEND for a wife on sec
ond thought. we wonder If il were |
possible that these Benders mistook /
some of the embryo soldiers in the /
picture. for the doctors Their style /
Of costume was certainly fetching.
Band concert nights are great oc-
casions on which 10 bring 10 the \
surface the dress sporting proclivi- /
ties of our young people. Last night 1
one or the Town Eul-upS hdS NtNN~ /
rated with a cretonne shirt waist on /
which were painted grotesque char
acters visible at a distance OF two /
blocks In fact the waist was so |
loud that one could almost hear il \
talk. II created almost as much I.
excitement and interest as the con-
cert
silent picketing" has been re-
sumed I'm front OF the White house |
10y the silly element Of the suffra- /
get. but really fl is unusual 10 see 1
women OF that kind silent. As a /
rule they not only talk all the time 4
they are awake. but they dream they /
are having a joint debate when they I
are asleep.
Perhaps the citizens Of Chicago |
ought 20 be excused for many |
things Their craving 10 get /
chance at the ballot box to express |
a revised opinion of Mayor Thomp- /
son is simply unsettling them.
And DADDY" John Bernard has /