The Washington herald., 1917-11-02
Vieus OF Interest the Women Readers of The Herald
Which Has the Greater Influence?
BY DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

There is a superstition current that
a maiden's character is as plastic as
a lump Of dough, and that IL a man
marries young girl he can mold
her into any Kind of q wife that suits
his fancy.
Innumerable men have fallen victims
Of this superstition. They have mar
ried silly little girly girlies who looked
as soft as mush only to find that un-
der their pliable exteriors there was a
sub-surface Of fool prejudices and
fixed Ideas as hard as granite, and
that they could change the rock of
Gibraltar just as easily as they could
alter their wives habits or modes of
thought
Heredity. environment and mother
had already been on the job for some
twenty years or more and placed their
stamp upon the girl too deeply for the
hand of any mere husband to erase It.
Nevertheless, in spite of all Of this,
matrimony Is the factory in which
character is really made, and while
DANOb anu
lay the foundations for it. and parents
and kindred and early associations
help to form II, it is the hand of hus-
band and wife who put the finishing
touches upon it. They are the maste-
craftsman who inscribe upon it, at
the last. their own personality.
1t Is true that no man can marry a
girl with any certainty that he can
daua1AV har f,,tn hi 81. L.
dreams. Nor can any woman cut
over a man according TO her little
perforated raper pattern of an ideal
husband. But no man and woman
can live together i'm the intimacy of
married life without being changed
by each other and in the end they
are pretty much what each has. con-
sciously or unconsciously, made the
other
No one can tell how this influence
will work. Sometimes it works for
evil: what is fine and noble in hus-
band or wife growing conmoner to
mix with the clay of his or her mate.
Just as often it brings a revulsion,
and what is highest and hest in man
or woman's nature is called out by
the meanness and sordidness I'm the
character of the one TO whom he or
she is married.
You will often notice the almost
Godlike patience with which a man
Will deal with the weakness and pet
tiness of a silly. vain. shallow wife.
Cnknowin-ly she has made him what
he is. Her lack Of every fine quality
has called out the finencss in him.
or you will see a woman hearing
with and forgiving man who is a
cad and a brute. He has made her
the almost angelic creature she is.
able TO suffer and he strong. big
enough TO look beyond the personal.
and sacrifice herself for the good OF
her children and society.
And, of course, ther is the reverse
Of this where the mean woman makes
her husband mean. and where the un-
princirled husband breaks down his
wife's principles.
Who has not seen 4 generous. OPEN
hearted man, fun of kindly thoughts
toward all the world. gradually grow
stingy and narrow and suspicious af-
ter a few years marriage to a par
simonious and bitter woman?
Who has not seen n girl of noble
and altrUis:ic ideals grow purse
proud and sordid and full of shifty
eXpedients after marrying a man
whose God was the money Gcd?
Certainly the brightest saints and
the blackest devils on this earth are
home made, for no other influence
on our lives is comparable i'm inn
portance with that OF our husbands
and wives. II is something We can
never escape for a day or an hour.
1t is always with US. 1t is like the
dropping of the water that wears
away the hardest granite.
As to which has the greater in
fluencc over the other, husband or
wife. that depends upon which Of the
couple has the stronger will and the
more determination to rule the roost
Also 1t is generally the one who is OF
the more ignoble nature.
Nothing on earth is more pathetic,
or more unfortunate for humanity
than that the family circle is almost
invariably dominated by the most
unworthy member OF the household
It is the man who is bully, or the
woman who is a shrew. who keeps
the family covering before him or
her because decent people shrink
with horror from the scenes that
crossing these domestic autocrats