Bridgeton pioneer., 1917-03-01


rather romance than real life and do
not give all that real life needs. They
are of the sane order as the people OF
India, who believe that the wife should
die OH the funeral pyre of her husband.
| may be weaker than some women
or | may be stronger. Possibly may
have less depth of feeling. though that
l will not admit. | saw only in nursing
my grief Il dreadful life before me. ]
recognized the principle that no two
absorbing ideas can occupy the brain
at one time. l did all that | could to
interest myself i'll what was about me-
True, | did not at first succeed and
when | did only partially so. l dread
ed the word forget. and yet l realized
that to avoid suffering must tempo
rarily forget. | forced myself to feel
that after a time / would be reunited
with my loved ones and that mean
while l must. except occasionally, put
them out of my mind.
l made my home abroad Three
years after my bereavement / married
again. | did so partly because / was
lonely. partly because / wished for
man to rely upon, as is natural to any
woman. partly because the man mar
ried assured me that could give him
an interest in life and, lastly, because
l became attached to him He was an
American. like myself. and, being
wealthy. gave himself up to study.
He lived abroad that he might write
nEc
among the subjects Of which he wrote.
For five years after our marriage we
continued our residence abrtad. Dur,
ing this period children were born to
us. There was tacit mutual agree
ment between us that should not talk
saw that he would rather leave that
to me, considering himself as having no
part in it, and had no desire to make
him part of it. He was absorbed in
his literary work, and if I ever told
him even where | had lived he soon
forgot it.
Then he was called to America on
matter of some property that need
ed his attention. 1t was agreed be-
tween us that he should leave me and
our children in Lucerne, where we
were then living. He expected to be
absent not more than two months, but
soon after his arrival in America he
was induced to write for a publisher
work necessitating- his presence in
America. He suggested my coming
home with the children, but left me
to consult my own feelings in the mat
ter.
had never intended to return to the
United States, dreading lest it should
reawaken me to my lost world. But
with a husband and children that
world had receded further and further
from me till the consciousness Of it
had grown very dim. ! wrote my nls.
band that l would go back to the
western hemisphere and remain there
I was tired of moving about from one
place to another, and the children were
coming to that age when they should
have steady instruction at school. Our
boys preferred to bring up in Amer
lea. 1 therefore suggested to my hus-
band that he buy place in which we
might settle. He replied that he agreed
with me and would carry out my sug-
gestions. Later he wrote me that he
had bought place in the suburbs of
the city wherein it would be necessary
for him to do his work.
we arrived after dark I was de-
lighted at our reunion, as were the
father and the children. 1 did not ask
where our home was to be. 1 intend
ed to be satisfied with it, pleased with
it, wherever it was. We took a train
and III less than an hour alighted at
station, where carriage was wait
ing Tor us. 1t was very dark when we
reached our home, and I saw nothing
OF it till l stood in the hall. Then /
caught at a banister to prevent my
falling.
l was in the house l had left more
than ten years before with a blichted
heart.
My dear!" exclaimed my husband,
starting toward me.
But In a twinkling l had recovered
myself. And what had enabled me to
do so? The sudden appearance of an
object. All, those objects that come to
US. How much more valuable often
times than realization. l must at least
for the present spare my good man
the ineXpressible pain of knowing
what he had brought upon me.
Nothing" l replied. "A little giddi
ness at having been so long rolling at
sea-
Nothing you don't like. is there?"
he asked anxiously.
ION the contrary, am very wei
pleased. Let us see the rest of it,"
He took me into every room in the
house, house that had been sold
twice since l had parted with it and
both times with the furniture includ.
ed. Not for the world would 1 have
betrayed that these rooms, closets, cor.