The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1917-07-21
Many athletes are failing to pass the ply

Many athletes are failing to pass the ply
steal examination because of their over ex-
ertion of the heart. The rush of the chess
fends to save their country has not yet be-
gun.
A green reporter is known by his expec-
tation that newly married couple will have
something to say for publication
than our own do not have.
If we are to have an official hymn of hate
most of US would expect it to be played on a
steam caiIiope about the middle OF the par
ade.
We delivered an high school commence
ment address this spring in certain Kan
sas town and the only thing which the home
paper printed about the entire program was
THE truly graceful speaker is the man who
can fill his glass of water without spilling
half of it on the platform.
Economy in the use of punctuation marks
has gone far that the elimination of quo
tation marks is urged by some writer's. It
looks like a good thing because whatis en-
closed in them is seldom original anyway.
The worst pest in a small city newspaper
Office is the fellow who comes in and after
loafing around while wants to write a para
graph about how good an entertainer of
visitors the boss stenographer is.
Real homage in the United States is paid
to those persons who are sitting in dining
when it stops at the small town with
half its population down to meet the train.
Some neighbors brave a storm in the night
in darkness in order to watch whether the
folks next door get scared enough to go to
the basement.
Civilization has killed our interest and
curiosity in other people, but it has not
killed our expectation that other people will
be interested in US.
The most patriotic thing a girl can do
with summer engagements this season is to
repeat.
that Harold Bs Wright has not s written
book on war
The reason of the poor strawberry crop
this season can be found in the fact that the
pickers were hungrier than in other years.
Washington announces that food prices
went up only nine per cent. the last month.
The governm emit is kind to tell the people
how much the food does go up. Not many
of US would be able to find out otherwise
Congressman Blanton of Texas in one
day introduced bills to grant appropriations
totalling S118,OOO,00O to purchase sites and
erect postoffices in his district His constitu-
| ents will probably get mail rarely that he
sought to properly safeguard it.
Sunday morning on the farm the young
man used to salt the cattle. readjust the
windmill, and grease the wagon axles now
he thinkers with the spark plug, calls fol
| the baseball scores, and keeps up his frater.
nifty correspondence.
| 1t takes man to puncture the tissue OF
romance in the love letters of another man
: AS mining stock is found in all safety de.
post vaults books on Esperanto art
found in all private libraries.
How much can patron of a dining cal
/ look out of the window without betrayine
| the fact that he has not yet fully recover.
ed from his origin =
AS a guest in a hotel you are afraid tha
! they won't find out what you think of the &C
commodations; as guest in the home of
friend you are equally afraid that his folk.
| will find out
| The palace built in Palestine from which
/ the Kaiser was to rule the world was not 10
Gated by three wise men.
1t seems rather nervy to stick oul
name at the bottom of the column
when P. Caspar has written nearly al
of it.
But the signature is one of the con
entions of the business; so here goes
! DON MARQUIS