New Britain herald., 1917-07-12
The Startling News That Harry Un-
 dcrvOOd's Letter Bore for Madgc.

woods letter to his wife began abruptly, and in the fippant words l could visualize the handsome, sneer- ing face of the man who had caused me so many moments uneasiness by his extravaganza of speech and ac- tion toward me.
 ' The time has come the page ran on, "as our gifted old friend the walrus SO patty remarked, to talk of many things and persistent among the other perpleXing problems-l hope you get that alliterative touch, my dear-is what we are to do with our little marital mix-up? You doubtless remember that when we legally jumped over the broomstick a hundred years or so back we agreed that if the time came when one of us wished to break off the handcuffs the other wouldn't Ob- ject I suppose it would be more courteous of me to wait until you gave the signal-you have shown signs lately of being a bit restive- but there are reasons which l will unfold to you later why I should at this juncture ask you for freedom. Isn't that the way they say it? It will also be good line for the divorce court. Am I not thoughtful to plan everything out for you?" My eyes were hot with anger as raised them to Lillian's. She met my gaze calmly, but I could see past the mask to the tortured depths of her eyes, and knew that She was suffering keenly.
 Pleasant epistle, isn't it?" she queried quietly. "But go on. You haven't skinned all the cream off it yet"
 I resumed the reading with an in- ward protest
 "T may be permitted to recall to your mind, I trust, that neither one of Us had any youthful ideals to be shattered when we hit the hike t7- gether. And both our populations l will not say our characte for those, of course, my dear Lii, are of a very high order-needed white washing badly. Oh, of couse, babes unborn were guilty beside either of us, but you must confess that my connection with that unfortunate financial deal, and Morton's divorce suit against you rather branded us as black sheep.
 "The Fascinating Draper
 nave put one COHlpldluI Ol tlo years we have spent together, and that is the fact that in the last few months you appear to have forgotten all about our tacit agreement to be- gin life together again, putting away from us all former entanglements. We have suited each other very we'll, jog-trotted along together decorously, and I shall always remember you as a good old scout.
 But when you transformed your- self into an old woman because of some fool idea that a lady decked with cosmetics was not a fit com panion for a child, and decided to bring your daughter home I saw the end for me. I have no taste for the Victorian female, early, mid or late, and I loathe children.
 'So I take my pen in hand to let you know that I am we'll hope you are the same, and that in all prob. ability we shall never sadden each others eyes any more. I really have but one regret in the matter, for I imagine you will rather welcome the news, and that Is the promise to be a better man to you,' which I made your charming friend, Madge-how l could love that woman if she's only let me-just before I left for South America.
 But I've done her one service A certain beautiful damsel who dis turbed her dreams for a long time will trouble her no more. The fas- cinating Draper party who did such dramatic stunts for Dicky's sake, has finally decided that she prefers a stronger character, to wit, ME, and -lr> quiesce in the wishes of so charming a creature. I can't have Madge Grace can't have Dicky, so we have decided to console each other, settle down in this part of the world, which just suits us, and live exemplary lives for the rest of our days.
 'If I Had an Imagination.''
 Naturally you wonder how she got here? Well, to tell you the truth, I | never have quite lost sight of her l since the time she went nutty and | tried to do the Dutch act. I always l had an idea in the back of my brain that in time we might hit it off,
 So I trust you will be a good scout and get divorce as quickly as you can. Not that we need any lit tie formalities down here, but it much married if we ever wanted to l come back to the states.
 "I suppose Madge will chortle over the fact that her father properly scorned me when he got on to my new plans. He evidently has a soft spot in his heart for you, and thinks your heart might be broken over my defection, or something like that How little he knows! He has gone