The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-02-01
Tales of the Town
A Boys Remarks to His Stomach

All my pennies don't | spend
In getting nice things for you?
Don't | give you lots of cake?
Say, stummck, what's the matter
That you had to go and ache?
Why, loaded you with good things
Yesterday, ! gave you more
Potatoes, squash and turkey
Than you'd ever had beforel
gave you nuts and candy,
Pumpkin pie and chocolate cake
And last night when | got to bed
You had to go and achel
Say, what's the matter with you?
Amt you satisfied at all
gave you all you wanted;
You was hard just like ball;
And you couldn't hold another bit
OF puddin', yet last night
You ached most awful, stummick;
That amt treatin' me just right
I've been a friend to you, have;
Why amt you a friend of mine?
They gave me castor oil last night
Because you made me whine,
Pm awful sick this mornin'
And Pm feelin' mighty blue
Becoz you don't appreciate
The things | do for you'll
We always want somebody to lead
US, even into temptation.
4 4 4
To an elderly woman "home" is
the town where her children are
buried.
Recipe for living to ripe old age;
Get an incurable disease and take
care of yourself.
Men have done a lot of foolish
things, but they have never picketed
the White House.
It is easy enough to give boy one
of these new fashioned names, but it
is mighty hard to make it "take."
The Bible is about the only author
ity man is able to quote without
being charged with doing it incor-
rectly.
A mans value after death depends |
a great deal whether he was kill&
by a railway train or died a natural
death.
Tommy, who was reprimanded for
teaching the parrot to swear, replied |
that he was just telling it what it
must not say.
"Have your neck shaved, sir?"
asked the barber "Nope!" replied
he chair holder. 81 can't see it, and
lobody else cares"
\ miss is as good as a mile, they say,
But | know a miss who's worth
he twenty-five thousand miles that
reach
All the way round the earth.
A young man recently married on
ne principle that two can live as
leaply as one, and proves it. He
Dent every cent he made before he
as married, and he does yet.
When the frost is on the pumpkin
ou may browse in dreams of joy, /
1T when snow is on the sidewalk,
ct your shovel out, old boy, rhapso-
yes Old Dave Stokesbery. :.
A woman asking for divorce says a
lie had no objection to making the Il
ing for the family all these years, /
1t could find nothing in her vows
her to keep her husband
smoking tobacco.
Dorothy" said mother, eff you are e
ID you won't go to heaven. Don't a
u know that?" "Well," replied lit =
, Dorothy, "I've been to the circus a
ID the lecture course already. | can't b
pect to go everywhere" ST
You can believe it or not, as you
ease, but the boss of this column
vagaries can prove chat a mosquito Oh
is very day jammed his bill into ca
e bald spot on the boss's dome of -
ought. The bump is still there. 81
q 4 & y
The Wichita, Kan, police have been -
ked to find woman, of whom no ="
scription is given except that she r
S the letter &c" tattooed on her y
:. Perhaps you can think of a ~ ~
rider job for police force, but we y
at.
& 4 & -.
A reader, in answer TO our query bs
ere the Russians who have crossed pl
river IA, can BIB, suggests that we ia
! map and &c. That's all right, m
the most up-to-date war man a e..