Mohave County miner. [volume] (Mineral Park, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1882-1918, 1917-04-21
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ARE TROUNCED
BY OPPONENTS
IFrom Tuesdays Daily Minerl
BY Ring w. Van LOan)

@AAAA A-AN-S "S%9 "NOE%--Go $3.50
and crashing of teeth among the
heather tribe of Printerites, which
dwelt in the Land of Kingman. For,
verify, their prophets had been hand
ed bum steer and their people were
sore Of heart and did grieve. At the
beginning their prophets had said I'M
to them: Behold, this Arizona Stores
bunch are easy pickings." And the
people had listened with great joy
and had believed what was said Of the
prophets to be the real dope.
And on the morning of the seventh
day while the Printerite tribe were
pounding their ears and dreaming Of
great conquest did the crafty Arizona
Stores tribe meet by stealth and prac-
tice among themselves the mystic art
of the national pastime. And when
the presiding elders Of the Printerite
flock did go among their people and
seek to awaken them to lead them into
battle, did they meet with loud pro
testations at being awakened in the
middle Of the night, it being then the
ninth hour Of the morning. They
made protest unto the elders, saying
"Hath it not been said that we should
remember the Sabbath day and keep
it holy? How, then, do you come
amongst US with much brawling and
disturb our slumber?" But the elders
replied unto them: "Holy, our eyes.
If we do not wallop that outfit it will
be a holy shame. Get up and get
busy. We have warbled."
And the elders departed and went
hence, with some anxiety and much
wrath. At the tenth hour, the time
of battle being near at hand, the
eldeds made ready and cranked their
respective fiivvers and did again make
the rounds to pick up the fighting men
of their tribe who still snoozed.
And the warriors being ready, the
tribe departed and went to the battle
with Joyous mien. And at the tenth
hour they arrived at the battle ground
girt for the fray. But, 10, the battle
ground was as devoid of enemies as a
snake is of hair, and they consulted
among themselves and were exceeding
elders made ready and cranked their
elders, saying: "Where this enemy
which thou wishest US to fight? Be
hold, we have crawled out of our
warm hunks to do battle and now it
seemeth that we have been bunked.
Go to and bring forth the victims to
the slaughter" And some among
them did speak in loud tones and said:
''Verily is the battle ours by default,
for the enemy hath developed cold
pedal extremities and hath taken to
the tall and uncut"
But it came to pass that these peo-
pie which claimed the battle by de-
fault had not knocked wood and the
enemy crept upon them unaware and
did make battle upon them. And a
wise man arose amongst the rabble
and discoursed in a learned manner.
Behold, shall a judge be appointed
from amongst US; judge who hath
honesty writ upon his map, that we
may know what is what. And he shall
be called an umpire and his sayings
shall be a law unto US. For whose
ever shall dispute him, saying Thou
bonehead,' shall be swatted on the left
jaw with a ball bat"
And the people of both tribes agreed
and did appoint from their number one
who was wise and just to sit on their
disputes and likewise upon them,
should any among them get gay.
That it might be fulfilled as written,
"And an umpire shall not enter into
the congregation of the Lord, even I'M
to his twenty-ninth generation"
And it came to pass that the tribes
did battle, one against the other, I'M
til the twelfth hour. And the Arizona
Stores tribe did STAY a half-score and
three of the Minerites, and the Miner
ties did scalp but five of their enemies.
And the battle was declared ended by
the wise umpire, who visit that the
men of battle were hungered and
athirst. And the time of the battle
was declared five innings.
And the rules of battle, which were
descended from the Marquis of
Queensbury, were not departed from
but one time. 1t came to pass that
one warrior of the Arizona Stores
tribe did dispute with much talk de-
cision of the umpire. This warrior
was rebuked by the umpire, who said
unto him: every, say unto thee, 1
shall wallop thee on the coco if thou
doest not make myself scarce" And
forthwith he became scarce.
And the news of the battle, as wit
messed by the official prophet, was as