Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1917-05-11

HOY Is dlrdm any way! asked
some one.
"Sick abed with infammatory rheu-
matism,'' Israel told them. Even since
his wife died ten years ago he hasn't
had any one to look after him proper.
ly. He hasn't had his victuals regu.
lar and hasn't had any OF the com
forts of home. lie ought to have a
h~ousekeeper. Hiram is pretty near,
you know, and is as contrary as a red
heifer. I've had a trained nurse to
come down from town to take care OF
him. Hiram is well fixed. He can
afford it. The pay is twenty-five a
week.
"Whew." blew Philander, ''she must
be pretty good! One of those young
things in a striped dress and a a as
big as a trade dollar?'
mo, street Her name is Mrs. Sam
uel p. Simpson, and she's got more
sense than | ever seen before inside OF
a calico dress. Hiram, he's got his
master at last!'
Hiram? Master him?" And Phi
lander smiled broadly. Lets have the
flannel, Israel"
Answering Philander's resounding
blows of the knocker on Hiram Har-
kin's front door, a comely person
promptly appeared in q spotless blue
and white uniform and an ample
snowy cap, fairly radiating protection
and comforting assurance. 1t seemed
to Philander as though she might be
capable of making those little mother
ly clucks peculiar to brooding hens.
"My name is Philander Perkins.
I've brought some flannel for Hiram
from his brother at the store" and
Philander bowed awkwardly and
knew it.
"Come right in, Mr.. Perkins, and take
a seat in the parlor while l get the
flannel on Mr.. Harkin. He will be
glad TO see you. l won't be more than
five minutes
4 don't know as | have time" fal-
tered Philander, who had all the time
there was. However, she had already
shut the door and all but pushed him
into the best room. He quickly noticed
that a revolution had taken place in
that temple and was soon cheerily bid
den to Hiram's room, a chair was plac-
ed for him and the door closed. The
sufferer was truSSed up in bed like a
large fowl prepared for the oven.
"Philapder, l am glad you have come.
l need the support of a friend. I feel
like a cornshuck in a gale of wind.
1 cannot realize that an in my own
house or that I'm myself at all.
1.-THE first thing she did when she got
here was TO fire all the medicine in the
house out of the back window, and
then she fled me as aforesaid. After
that she got four women and a boy
and cleaned house in three hours. /
overheard from Stebbins' boy they got
a w~heelbarr0w load of dirt out. The
furniture is all reset. l don't seem to
have anything to say in my own house
me that was born here. Philander, l
don't think l can stand it. What
would you do about it%'
"Do about it? Do about it? You old
salt mackerei, you've needed freshen-
ing for the last ten years! You just do
what you are told. You don't know
when you are well off. Just relax on
your old rusty hinges and surrender to
to superior power"
"Huh! You wouldn't. Philander."
well" said that person dryly, 81
don't have to. I'll be around tomorrow
to see that you are obeying orders"
Philander was conscious of a sense
Of satisfaction in being on the side of
the ruling spirit in che house and show
ed as much when he was taking his
leave.
Good day, ma'am," he offered bland
ly. "You will find your patient a lit
tie contrary, but your coming is the
best thing hat could happen to him.
He wants training more than any man
1 know, and If this spell does not kill
him he viii come out of 1t a new crit
ter. I'll drop in once in awhile. Any
help that I can give will be rendered
most gladly" finished Philander gal
lantly.
Mrs. Simpson smiled graciously and
thanked Philander in a nice superior
sort of way, as BETTING the general
manager of the situation, and that
pleased him, for wasn't he a superior
person himself?
"Philander," lamented Hiram Harkin
The next day. 'she's had all the win
dows open. She SEN down to the car
penter shop and got Abner up here.
They pretty neal tore the side of the
house out getting some of the windows
open. They hadn't been raised since
the house was built! Neither my moth.
er nor Mrs. Harkin would have them
open ON account of flies or dust or the
cold. Mrs. Simpson says it isn't safe
to live in a trunk with the lid down.
Now, what do you think about all
these notions?'
"Hlram, she will make a man of you
yet. You have lived In this old cocoon
TIN you are as afraid of a mouthful of