Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-03-25
SHAW GOES
RIDING AT WAR FRONT
In Truly Shavian Style, &c g. S. Sets Down His Views
on OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Humorist Sees Ypres
Before and After War Began
!. BOMBA RDMENT.

Everything Was different The
weather was again bright. hui in
tcnsely cold The language OF the
country was English in all its dialects
The farmhouscS and villas had no roofs
no floors. large holes in the walls and
il" Inhabitants. rho trees were chiuped
ana SCARED anu here and there broken
off short y man lying by the road
SIDE was not a tramp taking a siesta
hut gentleman who had lost his head
There was no EcIsian carlton but
plenty OF German music: an imposing
"rchestration in which all the instru-
menis were Instruments OF percussion
! cannot honestly say | dislikcd it: The
big drum always cNcites me. was
not yet in the town. but | was unmis-
takab>Y In the fprcs salient. and tho
Boche was sendinc them over as
persistenny as the gentleman next
door 10 Mrs. Nickleby sent cucumbcrs
and marrows over the garden wall I
was reminded Of him by the fact that
in the whole countryside there was an
extraordinary prevalence OF gas and
CATERS Room. W h zzzzz z--hoom.
whizzznzz-boom, whizaa1zz-ail FORTS
slmo dtminucndo: then. crcsccndo motto
subito. whizzzz2z bang. clattcr. In
such a bans and CHATTER had the ccn-
tleman by the roadside lost his head,
Well, IN tim" OF peace he might have
lost II much more painfully and mis-
chtevously. There worse WAYS cf
ending ones walk OF luc.
Stimulated by tho orchcstration. the
ear develops an cxtr. ton horse power:
and presently am again in Nprcs It's
houses arc standing like tho villas and
farmhousos: but. like them. have no
roofs. No floors. nothing but shelter
against shrapnsl. the Germans having,
with exemplary perseverance. converted
a city OF comfortable homes for friend
~ people into effective cover for any
troops that may SEQ nj at any time TO
use the town for anti-G erman military
proceedings.
Thus il the Bochc on the warpalh
Knocked by The Demon "f the un-
intended, who has glorious time Of
II when the drums begin 10 beat.
Everythins is arranged at the front
with military precision and order. but
nothing ever happens as il was ar
ranged. Out Of hundred orders.
forty-nine arc Wash out" the poetic
formula which cancels Even the
visitor is soon shaken out OF his
civilian routine of order and punctu-
atty In tho morning the captain pro-
poses; in the afternoon the general
isposes--mostiy by very agreeable
invitation which is joyfully treated
as an order
SHAW DISCOVERS HE
iS 4 SPORTSMAN
Yprcs. then. defended and done in as
to its hearths. its 'oors, its roofs and
its domestic amenities. still rcars it's
walls undaunted 10 the sky. and stan
provokes the German artillery 10 send
over and give an interest TO a tour
Of its streets that was lacking in the
happy season OF the MONDAY carlton.
An aeroplane few across above me:
q British aeroplane tas it happened.
did moi see a single Boche in tho air
during my eisht-day visitD: and pres
entity the sky about him lowered into
puff halls. He sailed on riumphantiy
and had AL extraordinary lapse OF
patriotism. and indeed of decency. when
the puFf balls and the bang bang OF
The aircraf, guns stopped. apparently
discouraged
Forgetting that the warrior in the
sky night asily he one OF my own per-
sonal friends. demanded why the
guns did not keep IL up. II seemed TO
me in;oierahly pcrfunctory to them to
give in SO soon. 1t was explained /"
me thai thc guns would have L" be re-
laid TO bring them on a target that was
travelling at loo miles hour. As
person Of my Intelligence ought TO have
known This without having To be told.
! was somewhat abashed and also 4
little horrif"d on reflection by the dis
Of Ia.
have so often reproba ted: that Of a
sportsman.
My guide took n" interest in The ar
tillcry beyond enabling me 10 circum-
vent certain persons whose duty il was
to keep peopl. out Of the more danger
Gus parts Of the town, and insisting on
fun speed across the square and pas,
tho shattered tower and twenty or
thirty Yards sample Of facade that
was once tn" Cloth Hall. He was
gigantic officer. An lrishman Of the