The Washington herald., 1917-01-28
They'd break a millionaire

you give EN- They'd break a millionaire
in a year!'
Anything funny happened in here.
lately?" 1 queried as i poked my head
into the doorway of Representative
Campbell Cantrilrs office.
The tall, lean Kentuckian was nowhere
to be seen, but his secretary was on the
Job. In fact, it seemed to be his day al
home.
Don't know anything so howlingiy
funny that's happened around these ois-
gings lately" he replied, as he invited
me in, but 1 might be able to tell you
a little human interest story. Look around
you and see what You see!'
1t didn't take any looking around" for
me to see what l saw. Instead of the
Kentucky colonel, who usually occupied
the easiest chair In his daily perusal OF
the papers from down home" instead
of the lone female allotment to the COM
mittee, | gazed upon two more Kentucky
beauties who were taking life easy in the
big leather chairs, and who looked as
though they had come to stay.
1T looks like harem," / said, and
of course all harems have human in
terest stories Tell me all about IL.
"wer." said the Congressman's secre-
tary. when the Judge was running for
reelection last fall. in order to put
little more pep into the campaign. he
told his two stenographers who were
helping him down in the district that IL
they would work hard enough to pile up
a majority of 5000, he would give them
both a trip to Washington. Now the
Judge even in his palmiest days never
got a bigger majority than 1900, and he
felt perfectly safe in making so rash
promise
The girls. fired by the slluring pic
ture Of Washington which the Judge had
painted, with its brilliant White House
receptions, its handsomely gowned wom-
en- at the theaters and state affairs and
its wonderful public buildings redoubled
their efforts, and where but one key had
been touched before. several now lickety-
clipped at the same time.
Election night rolled around. and 10000
ma Jority was reported polled for the
Juage. Too bad he said to the girls,
great pity You didn't work little hard
err But the next morning, when all the
returns were in. a majority OF $500 was
assured. And so, you see what you see;
the visitors have arrived" concluded the
secretary with a wave Of his hand.
Yes" thought I to myself. as l looked
over the OUTFIT, "and when they depart.
the Judge will be a poorer but a wiser
man.
Congressman Hefiin, OF Alabama the
strongest anti-suffragist in the House. is
getting a lot OF fun out Of the picketins
going on at the White House. He sits up
on the hill in his steam-heated office, just
wrinkling up his white pique vest in his
mirth. while the ladies down at the other
end OF the Avenue stationed on their hot
bricks send up shivering appeals.
The other day an Ambassador plenipo-
tentiaress'' appeared at the Alabama
Congressman's office. A cold, cold wind
was blowing, and the temperature out
side must have been about 10 degrees
above.
MY, how sorry feel for those poor
pickets down at the White House,
opined the visitor. Cant you do some
thing, Mr.. Hefiin, to get them in out Of
the cold?"
"Why, madam, I'm willing for them to
come in out of the cold" replied Mr.. Hef-
lin. And the Presidents willing; he's
already invited them in to get warm"
81 know. Mr.. Hefiin, but can't you let
them come in out of the cold for all
timer"
Now, madam, IL you mean that you
want me to vote for the constitutional
amendment for universal suffrage, I can
not do that, but IL I can be OF any serv-
ice in the matter of hot coffee, foot
warmers, or any other courage-sustain-
ers pending the coming of spring, you
can count on me to my last dollar. Re-
member madam, that I come from the
State whose towering hills are the watch
towers OF chivalry-where men are sent
here to defend the women Of the nation,
and protect them from the struggles and
hardships of the cold. cold world. I
stand ready, and you have but to CALI"
A little man strode up and down the
halls of the House Office Building. point
ing a pistol at the travellers as they pass
ed down the public highway, and threat
! ening to shoot to kill.
Down the road came big mana hne,
large mark, said the little man TO him.
self, as he watched 1t loom up.
Throw up your hands" he demanded,
when the big man was almost upon him.
The big man instantly obeyed, but be-
| gan to plead for his life thusfy:
"oh. Mr.. Desperate. spare me! ! have