davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
Roundabout ToDn
Theodore Roosevelt Will FIeReach the Trenches
Railroad Educating Young Men For It's Officials

present ambitions have brought ont
a lot Of good stories about him one
Of these harks back to the time when
he was appointing Gen. Jobn
Pershing and other young army offf-
GERS over the heads OF their seniors
and doing other radical things in tbe
line of making appointments. 1t va
all the talk-the precedents that he
was breaking. About that time. the
pope died and two Irishmen fen to
discussing who would be the new
pope Both had lived IN the United
States long enough TO be Thoroughly
American and to take on the idea OF
most Americans that the universe
revolved about the United States. As
Roosevelt was at that time the big
gest man in the United States, It was
but natural when Pat asked Mike
who he thought would be the new
pope, Nike should answer:
i don't know. Pat, but I hope to
the lord that Teddy doesn't appoint
Protestant"
Another one that has been revived
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
HatrIOtS

THE country calls for men fight against foe;
hno is the man who springs without delay
the TO lead his comrades fray
ne g his sword and thinks all the workshop
We
Jealous stare while we go padding to the bank greasy
doubloons WED gladly
would
tread grandsI
close sundy deals involving
the the YOU understand; wen
private plan the lure of profit ure Of
greed -
Adams MASON
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
WILL SERVE HOT ROASTS'
AT DUTCH LUNCH TONIGHT

Roasts will be served the members
of the University club tonight with
ing as chefs. The Gridirone-s will
have an open meeting and Dutch
lunch at the College club rooms at
$50. to which all members OF the Uni
versity club and their friends are in
vited. It will also be a Dutch treat"
pav-aS-vOu-enter affair.
Tuesday Will be preachers day at
the weekly club luncheon Bishop A.
J Schiller, Of the FL PasO diocese. will
he the guest of honor and Rev Percy
Knickerbocker will be the speaker.
The club luncheons are open to guests
OF club members
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
Roundabout Town
BY G. A. MARTIN,

go at the head OF any considerable
number OF American troops" This
tnoWs that there is still some pos
ltical fear Of the former Rough
Rider colonel
Others believe that the presence
OF Col Roosevelt on the war front
would have a depressing effect on
the Germans. P. F. Burgess is one OF
these and he wants to see the colonel
get to the front as soon as possible
and is ready TO go with him, so
ready in fact. that he has organized
company and IS awaiting the call
for Captain Burgess and company"
Mr.. Burgess believes that II Roosevelt
went 10 war at the head OF a force
Of Americans and came back alive.
he would be the next president-and
the chances are that for the first
time IN his life, r F. Burgess would
scratch the Democratic ticket. if ne
lived and came back for Teddy's
men always have a habit OF sticking
by Teddy in after years.
Discussion Of Mr. Roosevelt and his
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

make a swift, 100 mile run for doc
tor. if the party happens to be away
from civilization With a spring
wagon, the same TIP would consume
about 20 times the same amount Of
time"
.EI Paso is less excited over the
war than any place have visited IN
six months" said ". R Patterson, OF
Kansas City. 4 suppose the rsvolu-
tion in Mexico has so accustomed the
people here to war that 1t has no
horror for them East OF the Ms
sissippi the people talk nothing hut
war and everybody seems to be get
ting ready to take a hand in It Here
all the talk is about business. the
rising values OF real estate and the
instituting Of new Industrial enter
prizes. This is about the busiest
town have found west OF New York
Kansas City not excepted Back in
Missouri and Kansas the people are
up in arms against the food spec
ulatOrs who bought the farmers
food crops at the old prices and are
demanding four and five hundred per
cent profit"
The only possible thing that could
happen to check Ell Paso's building
campaign this year" said b c. frost.
will be inability to get building ma
teriaL It is now a difficult after
to get steel. and lumSermen tell ne
the lumber mills are away behind
on their orders. The government is
now in the market as q big buyer OF
building material and the railroads.
| am told. will be hard pressed 70
handle government business after
June It would be a good idea there
fore for those who want to build 10
get in their supply orders now"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
Ell PASO WILL DO WELL TO-
HEED WAR SECRETARY'S HINT.
(BY n. D. 81

Washington May 25Seatg Be the department has addressed 70 The
modification
surroundings and immoral influences Our responsibility this matter not open
aloD nil drafted
be surrounded By dem@zu environment leave anything
Mill henfO mealh M
The this force mill be made DhO h" not YET become
10 Mill that and
period life Dh questionable modes indulgence easily outlets for 1ubet
physical vitality.
mo- only have HesPab RESPONSIBILITY this matter the families and communities
and determination
TO bound military do everything
promote The health and the vitality o. mal
Il determined that nell as the surrounding Dhhn s
nobe o
neoeSanv dnt the local authorities
noonuo author %
guard rh the large through Dhh
nil constantly be paang
CANNOT BE OTHERWISE ACHIEVED PUR
THOSE NEICHBORHOODS WHICH
BE SECURED"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
DETAILS PATROLMEN TO
FIVE RESIDENCE STREETS

Four patrolmen have been detailed
to patrol Montana, Piedras, Bliss,
Woodward and Tularosa streets.
every evening in an effort to clean
out petty thieves who prOwl around
this section OF FL PasO. according to
police chief B. ]. Zabriskie.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

W 1HETHEH Theodore Roosevelt
NJ win get to the front or not
is the main topic Of CONVEX
zation in FL Paso as in every other
community in the United States.
There is about an equal division Of
opinion as TO whether he should go
or not, with e shade the best Of it, II
anything, in favor OF the colonel.
IF Roosevelt gets over there. he
viii be another Napoleon" said
well known man. g man who is so
well known that the mention Of his
name would almost cause a gasp,
considering his radical view Of the
very radical expresident- Roosevelt
would soon be in command Of the en-
tire American army" he said, and
I would not be surprised to see him
get command Of the entire allied
armies and make himself master OF
Europe, once he got the chance TO
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

Mrs Horace " ToTner wife Of con
gresham Towner. OF Iowa. has been
elected president OF the congressional club
OF Washington, an organization composed
OF wives OF members OF congress
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

The United States war department has
made an appeal to the young women OF
the country to take up telegraphy.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
The Daily Novelette,
THE ADDER.

CLEOPATRA. lounging on her
III sumptuous tortoise-fur divan,
~ suddenly raised her left eyebrow.
(See Alexis Cludd's Facial Oddities of
Famous Women.)
mo wonder I had trouble meeting
the butchers bill this week" she NUT
tered musically. 4 must be spending
a fortune entertaining Anthony And
he hasn't brought me so much as a
box of Studded dates for a month. 1
think I'll just count Up what I've
spent on that pill lately"
And she rang for a slave and had
him fetch her account book and her
Hotsands' patent lightning adder.
(See Patria Kelly's Ancient Methods
OF Computing-)
HIN" she figured. checking up the
items. HIN, S11.S0, $3.50. h'h HIN.
so forth and so on, so on and such and
such-total, S13O.35. Well. what do
you know about THAR
Snee's Thirteen Things That Cleo
patra Used to Get Into'O, she threw
the patent adder on the third shelf
(see Bellamy Hams Construction Of
Early Egyptian Longing Rooms.")
Or, strictly speaking, she merely
threw il towards the third shelf, for it
toppled down again and hit the top
OF her head between the index bone
and the majella, killing her instantly.
See( Ignew Bows The Sexes as
Throwers.")
Being the true history Of how Cleo
patra was killed by an adder.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

Secretary OF the interior Lane declares
that the women Of this country waste
enough foodstuffs in one week 20 feed the
Belgians for one year.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

A bill has been introduced IN the Brit
ish parliament, which IL It becomes law
will permit women to vote.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

have artistic natures that lead them
into carelessness and extravaganza
Copyright. 1917, by. the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

Atlas Peck has been approached by
Slim Pickens for a war loan of fifty
cents.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28

Owners of dogs should secure
their license tags at once" said
William McSain. Within a short
time the city will award a contract
for dog catcher and then all dogs
that have no license tags viii be
picked up and placed in the pound
Af'er being kept certain length Of
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-05-28
By DUNK LOTT.

Education is doing a heap for nearly
everything except a mule
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12

NOTE: Folks in town and adjoining
places are delighted with the results
theyhave obtained by usingo oANURIC,"
the newest discovery OF DR.. Pierce, who
is head of the INvALIDs' HOTEL and
SURGICAL INSTITUTE, in Buffalo, N. Y.
Those who started the day with a back
ache, stiff legs, arms and muscles, and
an aching head [ worn out before the
day began because they were in and out
OF bed half dozen times at night are
appreciating the perfect rest, comfort
and new strength they obtained from
DR.. Pierce's Anuric Tablets. To prove
that this is a certain uric acid solvent
and conquers headache, kidney and
bladder diseases and rheumatism, if
you've never used the vAnuric,n cut
this out and send ten cents to Doctor
Pierce for large sample package. This
VIII prove to you that uAnuricp is
thirty seven times more active than
lithia in eliminating uric acid-and the
most perfect kidney and bladder cor
rector. If you are a sufferer, go to your
best druggist and ask for a 50-cert box
OF eAnuric." You run no risk for DIR.
tlerce's good name stands behind this
wonderful new discovery as it has for
the past half century for his cGolden
Medical Discovery which makes the
blood pure, his rFavorite Prescription
Ior weak women and his cPleaans
Pellets" for liver ills. All DR.. Piece'a
medicines can be had in Tablet foSm-
py mail or at drug store.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Causes for Lack Of Sleep.

In cities multitudes do not know
what muscle fatigue" is, nor of the
deep sleep that follows day of pure
ly muscular work. A second cause for
lack of sleep is the general use of cof-
fee, tea, cocoa and alcohol.
Many persons are firmly convinced,
because they have slept shortly after
taking one of these, that they are not
kept awake by such beverages; but us
a rule they are. The physiological hour
for sleep is ignored by an artificial
hour dictated by drugs.
A third reason for lessened sleep is
the evening entertainment habit, de-
spite the necessity for early rising. The
theater, opera, bridge-party, ETC., un-
duly waste the sleep time. A last rea-
son for lack of sleep is nerve-cell ex-
haustion, among the causes of which
in our cities may be named the almost
continual light-stimulation (rhythmic
electric signs, etc.) and sound-stimula-
tlon.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12

animals do. OF those using the first
named device to make themselves
ARMED to the teeth" the bramble, the
gorse, and the holly are familiar in
stances. Among those which protect
themselves with venom as reptiles do
are the deadly nightshade, or belladon-
ma, and the nux vomlca. Less de-
structively inclined are those plants
which are simply protected by their
disagreeable taste. The common but
tercup, which is one of these, is gener-
ally Stunned by horses and cattle. A
plant which, like the skunk, is pro-
tected by dlsagreeable smell, is the
figworm. Only that hardy and insensi-
tive animal, the goat, will touch 1t.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12

the winter palace. In five years the
Gostinny Dvor was ready, and the fair
removed to it's new quarters. There
after 1t developed with great rapidity.
The Mini Novgorod fair begins Of
ficially July 2S, when solemn service
Is held in the cathedral, after which a,
cross procession leaves the church and
wends its way to the chapel of st. Ma
carius. Here another service is con-
Quoted, and after the fair flags have
been duly consecrated and sprinkled
with holy water they are Simultaneous
ly run up and the fair is declared for
mally open. The bulk Of the goods,
however, is still unpacked and not be-
fore August are all the shops open.
On that day is celebrated the memory
of st. Macarius (Makari Jeltovodski)
and a cross procession makes the
round of the fair inclosure. Septem-
ber 7 the flags are lowered, and all
settlements on account Of bills of ex-
change entered into at the fair must
be concluded.
Strictly speaking, the great fair Of
Mini Novgorod constitutes combi-
nation or congeries of several markets
whose terms Of activity are not neces-
sarily concurrent. Thus the first mar
ket to do business is that for textile
goods, lasting approximately from July
29 till the beginning of August (old
style). The second is the fur and down
market, which runs from about August
20 to early September. The third is the
wool market, from August 29 to Sep
tember %, and the fourth the raw
hide market, which starts about Au-
gust 23 and continues until the end
Of the navigation season.
Serves as Clearing House.
If firms abstained from attending
the fair, they would run the risk Of
losing touch with old customers, who
would patronize other firms accord
ingly. 1t has to be borne in mind that
the Mini Novgorod fair is not only a
place for the conclusion Of CONNER
cial transactions; 1t is also center
for the delivery of goods against
previously concluded bargains and for
the settlement of bills Of exchange.
This circumstance affords another
incentive to attendance at the fair in
order to receive payment from in
Vulnerable small clients-a task which
the banks are not in position satis-
factorily to discharge. Again, did
firms remain away from the fair, their
absence would tend to engender
doubts as to their stability, and in
this manner undermine their credit
with provincial customers.
The Mini Noygorod fair is a con-
venient rendezvous for both buyer and
seller. The former is nearer to the lat
ter than at Moscow, and 1t is there
fore far easier to gather information
as to his commercial standing and
reputation, a matter Of no small i'm
portance In country when long-term
credit is the rule and not the excep-
ton.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Pan Handle Poultry Show.
In connection with Farmers AM

In connection with Farmers and
Housekeepers' Week.
The Poultry show and the Univer-
sity of Idaho Farmers and House
keepers Week have become an annual
date. The show will be held this year
in very comfortable building on
Main street; the prospects now are
that it will be the new Masonic Tenn
pie.
A special premium Of $1,000 will be
offered for the largest and best dis
play in each class, and $500 special
premium for the largest and best dis
play in the show. Our premiums will
be liberal, and prizes promptly paid.
Many new coops have been built this
year and the association has money
in the treasury.
Write l.. R. Scott, Moscow, Idaho,
for information regarding the Poultry
show, also to secure the premium list,
which will be out about January first.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Short course for Miners.

The winter short course for miners
and prospectors at the University Of
Idaho opens January next at Mos
COW, and continues for eight weeks,
ending February %.
This is the fifth term of the short
course at the University of Idaho, and
an unusually large enrolment is in
dicated for this year. There are no
entrance requirements, nor is there
any age limit. The students ages
have run from 1S to 66 years, and
every man who has taken the course
has found that it has improved his
earning capacity. Last year II men
enrolled in the course, coming from
all parts Of the northwest.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Pats BIunder.

During camp parade of the bu-
glers recently an Irish corporal was in
charge. He was asked by the COM
manding officer if all the buglers we're
present, when he replied: "No, sorr,
wan man absent"
"Well, them" said the officer, "go
and find him and ask him what he
has to say for himself"
A few minutes later Pat came run
mig back. "Shure sorr," he cried,
"and weren't we pair Of buffers not
to know 1t? 1t wor meself. Bedad,
sorr, OF forgot to call me own name
entoirely."-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Difficult Indeed.

Shamus O'Callaghan sat at the door
of his cottage, his head bowed on his
hands, and sobbing with emotion. His
friend, Terrence O'Halloran, CHANGED
to pass.
"Arrah, ye're looking very sad the
day." he said, laying sympathetic
hand on the mournful ones shoulder.
"Ah, and it's feeling very sad am" /"
responded Shamus. "Oi've lost me
mother-in-law."
Lost your mother-in-law? said the
surprised Terrence.
"Ay," replied Shamus. "Oi tell ye
it's very hard to lose your mother-in-
law"
"Hard!" exclaimed Terrence. BE
gorra, me bhoy, it's almost impossi-
BILE" Chicago News.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
SUFFERED FROM BACEAGHE and
kidney TROUBLE FOR YEARS.

Dear Readers Il wish to tell you
that l suffered from backacke and
kidney trouble for years. l heard of
Doctor Pierce's Anuric Tablets and 1
tried them. They cured my backache.
! hope people that are troubled with
backache will give them a good trial.
] am sure they will not fail to benefit.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. GEO. DEMINa.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
About Finished.

II saw that pretty girl smile at you
in puzzled way, as If she thought
she might have met you somewhere" F"
"Yes. We were almost engaged at
the seashore last summer"
"Ah!"
"The smile you saw was the fag end
of June filtration" - Birmingham
Age-Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12

"Who is the gentleman being sup
ported TO his chambers by group of
sympathetic friends?"
Merely political prophet who
guessed wrong
"Do you think he is cured of the
habit?'
"No, indeed. He'll be guessing again
in week or two"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
The Futures Rrlaht Hone.

Grandpa thought pa was going to
turn out to be something wonderful,
and pa is confident that son will make
mark in the world. Each generation
seems to realize that it is failure,
but 1t is betting on the next genera
tion.-Forth Worth Star-Telegram.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Barnyard Stringency.

"Why have the hens quit laying?"
"They have their troubles" replied
Farmer Corntossel, "the same as other
folks. They're worrying about the
high cost Of chicken feed.'-Washing-
ton Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Easily Dazzled.
iby susceptible to feminine

"Is Gadsby susceptible to feminine
charms?"
Judge for yourself. He once bought
a translation of the Koran from a
blue-eyed, golden-haired book agent,
thinking it was opular novel.
Birmingham Age Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
All Slaves of Habit,

We are all so much the slaves of
habit in our appetites that 1t is with
great reluctance we make any change
in our dietary. We want what We
want, whatever the cost, If we have
the price, and while we loudly COM
plain about the cost of living we con-
tinue to buy in usual quantities. Yet
it is within the power of the house
wives of the country to force prices to
a lower level by united action in the
practice of kitchen economies. - St.
Louis Globe Democrat.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
A Giveaway.

Kid Brother-How soon are you and
sis goin' to be married?
Accepted Suitor-She hasn't named
the day yet, Willie. l hope she
doesn't believe in long engagements.
Kid Brother-She doesn't. ] know,
cause all her engagements have been
short. Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
They See 1t Frequently.

Uncle Si-Umph-I reckon you high
toned club fellers never git up soon
enough to see the beauties o. sunrise?
City Nephew-Oh, we see it often,
Uncle, but it's when we're coming
home. me.-Jacksonville Times Union.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Can't See Through 1t.

"True," persisted the wretch who
was trying to swap his glass eye to
the bartender for a drink of whisky.
1T is not a genuine optic, but it is
such a clever imitation that you can
not see through the de- option. Kan
sas City Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
LAND FOR SALE
In Kern County, California

20 acres fenced and having old well.
about five miles from Bakersfield, Cal
ifornia, near highway. Good alfalfa
land or potatoes and other vegetables.
Good crop is being raised on adjoining
land. Near good homes and schools.
Only five miles from Bakersfield. Low
price and easy terms to the right man
who wants some good land and good
location where;he can do we'll. Address
M. A. Green, 1922 Mission Street, San
Francisco, California.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Sigh of a Sufferer.

'"I'll tell you what to do for that
cold" said the solicitous friend
please don't. I've taken so many
different kinds of prescriptions for
this cold, don't believe it's any long
er what's the matter with me-
Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Remembers Her Bible.

1.-TWO fellows declare that they can
not live without her."
"And which has she decided to
marry?"
"The rich one. She says the other
could get into heaven easier If he
should really die" Boston Tran
script.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
A Loyal Lad.

Office Boy-De boss kin see no call
ers dis mornin.
Insistent Visitor-Say, I'll give you
a quarter to take this card to him.
Office Boy-Aw, shucks! He gives
me bigger wages for not doin' it.
Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
Passing of the Ink.

"a drop of ink makes millions
think"
ut used to-" replied Mr.. Penwiggle.
Nov it merely makes some busy man
wonder why you didn't use a type.
writer. ."-Washingt Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
A Babel.

Everybody at the party was talk
ing at once!"
"They were quite right" comment
ed Miss Cayenne. Everybody might
as well talk. There was absolutely
no fear of interrupting anything worth
listening to."-Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
lemueps Criticism.

Little Lemuel-Say, paw, are you a
self-made man?
Paw-Yes, son, and I'm proud of It.
Little Lemuel-But, paw, why didn't
you use looking glass?
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
His Views.

"I cough q great deal"
"Try rubbing your throat with gaso-
line"
"Huh! I'd as soon cough as honk."
Kansas City Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-01-12
OF Course.

"My friend, the glazier, has sad
life."
"Why shouldn't 1t be? Isn't it fulp
of panes. s."-Baltlmor American.