Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-06-23
in the most vigorous steps 1
that they can take to ascertain the e.
act facts, and in such subsequent ~
ton q the facts warrant.
LITERARY ENTHUSIAST
He Loses Some Of His Enthudaa
Down In Arizona.
Thomas Fitch in Case ana Comment.

Thomas Fitch in Case and Comment.
IT shall plead guilty: your honor,
to the charge Of smashing this shop
keeper's window" said q hobo who
was arraigned before the police nag
istrate at Tucson, Arizona. on a
charge OF malicious mischief. pc
general plan for obtaining the neces-
sary material for q book I am about
to publish. But I want this court to
understand in me 1t q before 1t a.
different sort Of person from those
who usually appear here. I am an
English gentleman. cousin only
three times removed o Sir John
Bugslestone Of B%ugslestone Manor.
writing a book on prison life In Yam
keeland and in order to obtain ma.
terial for my book and import local
color to It, It IL necessary that ! be-
come an actual inmate o . short
time Of each Jail whose occupants and
whose environments ! describe: The
jails Of eleven states have had the
few days each, and / am now on my
way to the Pacific slope to complete
my labors. I paused here to obtain
material for a graphic and picturesque
description Of jail life in Arizona. I
have found that the easiest way Of
obtaining access to these places Of
confinement was to smash . shop;
accept in consequence q brief ~sojourn
in the county Jail. wherefore, your
honor, I am here"
May I inquire Of you, Sir John
Bugglestone's Third Cousin" said HIS
honor, whether II has been a part Of
your practice on such occasions. to
remunerate the s~hopkeepers for their
chs ttAraA i~h<aSO
"Why, no. your honor" replied the
accused, II have not really considered
It necessary to do 90. The incarcera-
ton which I suffered in consequence
Of each act was supposed to square ac-
counts with the sh%opkeeper. doncher-
know"
"Quite So" said the Judge. well.
when you write your chapter on prison
life in Arizona. you might mention
that in this Wild and woolly west our
courts entertain the same idea with
respect to the end to be obtained by
the punishment Of criminals that pre-
vailed in the now effete east before
1t became debauched by transatlantic
ishment Of the criminal is designed,
partly at least. to protect society by
lettering him from further acts Of
wrong-doing. This court appreciates
your enterprise. your spirit Of sacri-
fcing yourself. and your thrift, in not
paying the losses Of your victims in
your pursuit Of the noble calling Of a
British author. But plate-glass win
dows are costly hereabouts, and in
order to save the merchants Of neigh
boring towns from the ic%onoclastic
brickbats and paving stones which
may be precipitated by literary en-
thusiasts upon their shop windows,
and also to afford you an ample OPP
portunity to gather a full supply Of
local color for your forthcoming book,
! will sentence you to four months
imprisonment at hard labor on the
rock pile. The views of life, and Of the
rights Of other people that this discip-
line will impart to you will be Of bene.
fit to you in your subsequent career,
and the public roads Of this country.
as we'll as the literature Of England,
WILDE improved by your labor. Con-
stable, remove Sir John Busglestone's
third cousin"