Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1916-1918, 1917-04-20
Too Much Efficiency
by J. E. Rath.


1T calls the butler"
The efficiency man pressed it, then
took out his watch and kept his eye on
the dial. He looked up as Horace en-
tered the library and stood at atten.
ton
"Thirty-two seconds" he observed.
where did you come FROM Horace
II was in the dining-room, SIR
"a distance of some twenty or
twenty-five yards. You occupied thirty
two seconds in walking that distance.
Now, while l do not require you to
run, hereafter l shall expect you to
cut your time in half. That will allow
you sixteen seconds-ample. Please
call the other servants and have them
all report to me here at once"
1t was wide-eyed company that
faced the efficiency man, with Horace
standing little in advance and at one
side, like a n0n-commissioned officer.
They stared at the stranger with frank
wonder written on their faces.
"All here?' asked Hedge with faint
sarcasm.
There were eight in line
"My own maid is away for the eve
ming Constance.
very well; who are the others, if
you please?"
Horace, the butler, you know be-
gan Constance, after rebellious in
stance Of hesitation. Next to him is
Mary, the cook; next to her, Elvira,
the second cook; the next is Frank,
the chauffeur; next are Minnie and
Ruth, housemaids, next to Ruth is
Fanny, the laundress. The one on the
end is Siovanni, the furnace man."
Giovanni glowered as his name went
down in the little book.
"This completes the list, then =" ask
ed Mr.. Hedge.
s'1 forgot; there is another" said
Constance. George, the footman."
HE had an evening off, MISS" ex-
planned Horace quickly.
I'VE will do without him for the
present" said the efficiency man as he
reached into his pocket and drew
forth document that was already
ominously familiar to the three
Brookes. you will now give me your
close attention"
Raising his voice slightly, he pro.
ceeded once more to read aloud that
extraordinary instrument which began
Il, John W Brooke" after the fashion
of last will and testament. He read
slowly and clearly, pausing between
phrases, in order that full compre-
hension Of his words might be obtain
ed. When he reached the red seal, he
looked up and folded the paper.
81 am the Hedge referred to in this
document" he said. do you all under.
stand it,"
The eight servants remained silent
and, with one accord, glanced at Con-
stance.
you may indicate that you under
stand tiff you really do" said Con-
stance quietly.
Eight heads nodded.
Every WELL" said Mr.. Hedge. IRE
turn to your quarters"
The household help filed out of the
library with funeral steps. From the
hallway 1t was possible to distinguish
whispering, mingled with the noise of
retreating footsteps.
The efficiency man walked over to
writingtable, seated himself, picked
up pen, and apparently forgot the ex.
1stence of the three Brookes Con.
stance, her lips tightly compressed, re.
treated to the farther end Of the room
and stared into the glow Of an open
fire. Billy, uneasily thumbing a book
finally tossed 1t aside and disappeared
The opening and closing Of the front
door accounted for his maneuver. Alice
sought consolation in the Circassian
walnut photograph. She played the
loudest concert records she could find,
with frequent chances in the direction
of H. Hedge.
He was maddeningly oblivious.
Curiosity overcame Alice at length
She pretended to hunt for book, and
the search twice carried her past the
desk at which the efficiency man was
working But even two inspections did
not enlighten her. He seemed to be
working at a problem, but wholly I'M
like any she had ever encountered at
school. He was making diagrams, do
ing sums in arithmetic. and writing
all on the same sheet Of
paper. and he was intensely absorbed
in his work.
Half an hour Of silence ensued in the
and then the efficiency man
looked up suddenly and consulted the
reading Of large clock that stood in a
corner.
"Alice!"
The younger of the Brooke girls
could scarcely believe her ears. Size
looked up from her chair and stared at
him.
"How old are you?' he asked
abruptly.
Alice gasped and turned pink. She
rose to her feet and stood quivering.
1t was outrageous Constance walked
quickly to her, placed an arm about
her shoulders, and then directed a
look of scorn into the eyes of the ques-
toner.
''By what right you ask I do not
know" she said coldly. ut is easier,
however, to answer the question than
to argue. Alice is fifteen
THAT being the case. and the hour
now being ten o'clock" remarked H.
Hedge, Alice will kindly go to bed"
For an irresolute moment Alice
stood glazing at him, her pink cheeks
turning roster each second. Then.
when the tears brimmed over, she
turned and fed from the room
"1'bi,', cold Cnpctanco s.iS Shana