davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
LIKE M,LuKE SAYS

A man is an animal who will drink 27 beers and eat one free lunch sandwich in a kaif and then blame his stomach trouble on what he ate.
 Every member of the family likes to see mothers birthday come around. Father wants a new reading lamp Son wants a mirror for the bathroom so he can shave in comfort. Daughter wants new toilet water atomizers So all three wait for mothers birthday to come and they buy her the lamp and the mirror and the atomizer and use them them selves.
 We have had the pleasure of listening to the greatest orators this country has produced But for impassoned appeal let us refer you to a colored gentleman who is addressing a pair of dice when his last two-bits are at stake.
 The men folks in Kansas are chivalrous cusses. When woman voter registers in that state she need not give her age. She need only admit that she is oyer Fl. A married man thinks that he is up against it in inventing new excuses to spring on his wife. But imagine his pre- dicament If he married widow who had heard all of the excuses before.
 Isn't it about time that we quit all this gulf about the land of the free and the nome or HDeTty. A DuliCl Oi ldIlIi- CTS, lawyers. professional reformers and politicians, who, by chance, happened to be elected to the United States Senate, have voted to force the District of Co., lumbia to go dry These zealots hail from Roan Mule, S. D.; Naked Dog, Ore Tie Siding, s. C.; Hickvile, Me-, and other great centers of civilization. They know that they won't have to live in the national capital under prohibit fh,f nitiz <,F Washington do not want prohibition, yet thev use a little brief authority to fet- ter fellow Americans Hooray for lib- erty! We'll bet that if the graves of the men who signed the Declaration of In dependence were opened we would find that those old patriots had rolled over in their graves.
 Some of these days the female reform CTS will get together and have law en- acted prohibiting children from playing with pet dogs because the children are liable to give the pet dogs some kind of a disease.
 By the time Congress has prohibited the newspapers from printing advertise ments of liquor, tobacco, sports and amusements, our reading matter will probably be confined to the Gentlemen's Home Journal, and the Champion Male Crocheter and the Champion Male Bean Bag Player will be our heroes.
 The law compels us to kill cattle that have the mouth disease. But it won't even let us mutilate humans who are af- elicted with the same ailment
 Man is mean cuss It tickles him to learn that the husband of the girl who turned him down gets drunk and beats her up every night.
 Our idea of a hypocrite is a married mar who sings -Rlest Be the Tie That Binds "
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
NED BRACE WRITES A BIT ABOUT SOME OF THE SUCCESSFUL MEN OF BIRMINGHAM

1NWo civic and development bodies in Birmingham will do good
 rather than harm.
 The more bodies we have rivalling one another in the development spirit the better.
 And again there be more opportunity for the fellows full of hot air to dis tribute it during these winter days. The grouches, too, can open their safety valves and get the poison out of their systems
 man is often better man after he has been given full opportunity to say all the mean things about his fellow he thinks he knows, and after he has abused his community to his full limit Even
  rattlesnake becomes harmless after he has bitten several victims and exhausted his poison bag.
 I have seen wild men enter Congress the legislative halls who afterward be- came great constructive statesmen Sem ator Tillman of South Carolina is a notable example. He entered the Senate with a pitchfork, jabbing it into every thing.
 Now he has become splendid con- structionist-a man of rare judgment and conservative leadership, an authority on foreign relations-a great man.
 IL Birmingham we have many construc- tionists who have done and are doing rare work.
 Erskine Ramsay, the millionaire mining engineer and inventor, came here but few years ago on a salary of seventy five dollars a month. He probably makes three times that amount daily now, and he earns every penny of it. He applied himself. When on salary he tried to do four or five times as much work as his associates drawing the same salary
 Young George Morrow, Jr, quit the army to go in machine shop here. and he has made that machine shop make money as it never made it before. He
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

1 loves work and he plans with the sys- tenn taught him at West Point. < * Will Harding was forty dollar a month clerk in the Berney National bank when I first knew him. He studied bank ing, loved work and after serving for years as president of the greatest bank in this section became chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank board in Washing ton-the highest pinnacle of honor a banker can reach in America. He won it upon merit for he had not even the flimsiest political pull
 * a
 Look at David Roberts and Ben Roden, young men whose fathers died leaving them undeYeloped coal properties. Both have developed them in the most modern manner and are making good in their work
 And there is Rick Woodward and Camp bell Maben who assumed the burden for These two young men are making the great manufacturing plants earn dollars where the earnings were dimes in the past. They have the inherited stuff in them, and the energy of youth
 Look at George Connors, who came over from Atlanta and picked up some wrecks of steel and iron working plants. He put the stern stuff behind building them up and is swapping his make for gittering gold so fast that he wears the smile of the original Klondiker
 * *
 coal and the metals who make money  here
 I know man, feeding the inner man, who is becoming of fabulous wealth be- cause he feeds his fellows real good food. Chris formerly had fruit stand under an awning on a corner A few years ago he opened a lunch counter under the shadow of the Empire building. He made money, and the yearning came over him to go back to Greece with his accumu- lated wealth. He sold out and went to Pireus, when his old friends met him, and he distributed coin among them in gifts like unto drunken sailor. For. two days
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
Many Visitors cnn,inu

T have just returned from Florida" !" said F. F. Stovall, general agent of the Illionis Central and the Central of Georgia, yesterday. "The state has never had such an influx of visitors. It is estimated that fully 30 per cent more visitors are passing the win try months there.
 AS a consequence of this unusual popularity, it seems almost impossible for one to get accommodations at the big hotels. Rooms are reserved for several weeks in advance, and com mand big prices The owners of the big hotels must be reaping a harvest of gold, for, to all appearances, the visi- tors are loaded with money bags"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

he remained It was not Birmingham. Forty eight hours of Greece and he town
 The man to whom he had sold his lunch counter had not done we'll Chris bought him out for some two thousand dollars rowed some eight thousand dollars to fit up the place in modern sanitary style and add tables to the lunch counter ef- feet.
 Chris selects and buys everything him. self and will have only the best. whether it be over the counter or on the tables of immaculate linen
 The hotel people will tell you there is no money in selling food Chris will tel; you to the contrary. The first eight months in his newly fitted up place he made a net profit of eighteen thousand dollars, and he is keeping up the pace. He don't owe a dollar; he feeds an aver age of one thousand people every twenty four hours-his doors are never closed. and he feeds them well and at the most moderate of prices. He uses eighteen hundred eggs day, and never a cold storage one.
 am told Chris Colias has accumulated fortune nearing the hundred thousand dollar mark, and he has done it by in- telligent work and service.
 could tell of scores of others, but a word about a gentleman of the ministry who has built up a thriving Baptist church in Pratt City. Without knowing him, took occasion in this column some months ago to critcise him. Both Dr. Dickinson and my associate MT. Frank Willis Barnett. tell me I made mis- take. and that he is a young man of splendid character and promise and de- serving of encouragement. It gives me pleasure to make the amende honorable and to hope that I may have the oppor- tunity sometime in this column to tell cf great and noble work he shall do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
BY THE NORTH SEA

By Algernon Charles Swinburne. land that is lonelier than ruin, sea that is stranger than death. Fa" fields that q rose never blew in, Wan waste where the wind lacks
 eil,
 Waste endless and boundless and
 bowerless,
 But of March blossoms fruitless as
 free, Where earth lies exhausted as powerless To strive with the sea. Far fliclkers the flight of the swallows, Far flutters the weft of the grass Spun dense over desolate holiows, More pale than the clouds as they pass: Thick woven as the weft of a witch is Round the heart of a thrall that hath
 snned, Whose youth and the wrecks of it's riches Are waifs of the wind. The pastures are herdless and sheepless, No pasture or shelter for herds; The wind is relentless and sleepless. And restless and songless the birds; Their cries from afar fall breathless. Their wing are as lghtnings that flee: For the land has two lords that are
 deathless-
 Deaths self and the sea.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
HARD TO ANSWER.

'pThe spirit of your wife wants to speak to you" said the medium, as pale, blue light crept into the darkened room.
 What does she want to say to me?"
 Just moment. Ahl She asks where you have been."
 "Now, isn't that just like woman? She's been dead five years and during that time I've been in thousand places
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
THE POPULAR ATTITUDE.

You and your friend were arguing about peace. remember. Yet, you nearly came to blows
 Don't jump to conclusions, sir. We were not arguing about temporary truce, but permanent peace, and every body, neutrals and belligerents alike, seems to think that's worth fighting for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
ADRlFT WITH THE TIMES
POLITICAL NOTE.

The "suffs" berate the President For merely standing pat, Who yet a cordial message sent To Carrie Chapman Catt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
NOBLE SACRIFICE

From the New York World.
 My brother-in-law," says an English comedian, ''is now member of the royal flying corps" Artemus Ward more lay. ishly offered all his wifes relations to put the rebellion down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
Buttom Connes Off
 and Causes Woe

A FTER twenty-eight years of more |GA or less connubial bliss, John and Elizabeth Meyers were estranged, merely because a button came off Johns waistcoat. The couple appeared in the domestic relations court of New York.
 A week before he departed from the Meyers home, John told Magistrate Harris, the Hateful button came off and he asked his wife to sew it on. As often happens in the best regu- lated families, there was no response worthy of the name. The button stayed off. John made the same re- quest every day for week and then, patience having ceased to be virtue, in his opinion, he went away.
 Mrs. Meyers acknowledged to the court that she didn't seWpn the but ton. She said: q was housekeeping and it was my busy week." To normally constituted man, particular ly one who had been married long enough to grasp the dread significance of housekeeping, that explanation would have been all-sufficing. Not so to John.
 The judge appears to have been normally constituted. At any rate, he said: Every man should know enough about sewing to be able to put on a button in an emergency" and decided that John would have to pay Elizabeth $5 week unless he re- turned to the family radiator. He also expressed the hope that John would "get sense."
 Every woman will sympathize with the wife in this case, and most of the men. Attendance at cabarets is no excuse for not sewing on buttons, but housekeeping with good housewife is mild form of dementia which at Jacks her at periodic intervals and hanishes all other considerations from her mind, among them the comfort and convenience of father.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

the stage batter of the rankest vaude- ville team, but the stage talk was pure English undefiled in comparison with the slang used by the two happy misses At Alexander City they spied canine and here is what one of them gurgled "oh, look at that perfectly precious bull dog. He is the loyeliest thing ever saw. Amt he just darling?' There was much more. but this is all I can remem- ber
 Robert Palfrey Utter. author of Every Day Words and Their Uses, has word for those who defend their use of slana on the ground that it will ultimately como
 (Continued on Page Eight)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
POETIC THEMES.

The curse of riches poets sing
 And praise the low estate Of shepherds, free as birds awing
 And simple hearts elate. The flow'ry mead, the blushing rose
 The pure, sweet-flowing Till, Blue skies, the sun that westward goes
 Bewitch their senses still.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
A CLEAR SAYING.

 This boarding house keeper is sppar- entity doing well, despite the fact that her prices are moderate and the cost of food is so high"
 'Ill tell you the secret of her success. Most of her boarders are fast young men who are seldom able to negotiate a breakfast and she's just that many meals ahead of the game
 A LARGE ORDER. "Did Dubwaite carry out his plan to read aloud to the family in the evening ?' '.No."
 What was the matter?"
 There was too much diversity of tastc in the family circle. Mrs. Dubwaite in- sisted on suffrage literature, Gladys Dub waite wanted him to read from her fa- vorite photoplay, magazine, Della Du5- waite demanded a sex novel and Dub waite himself had a hankering for tho sporting page of his newspaper"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
Large Plans for
 Music Bienmial

ID IRMINGHAM has played host to O number of large gatherings, but with the exception of the Confed- crate reunions which have been held here, it is safe to say, perhaps, that the forthcoming music biennial-the biennial convention of the National Federation of Music Clubs-will bring the greatest crowd of visitors. The assemblage of veterans being purely southern institution, most of those who attended came from states south of the Mason and Dixon line.
 This musical convention will bring delegates from every section of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

BEGINNING THE DAY-Bathe me, 0 God, in Thy dew. Descend upon me. EnveIOp me. Cover me as with a garment rich beyond dreams. For l am not fair to look upon. The senses are not pleased with me. But Thou, my God, art fnirer than the light. Be Thou nay inner heart, my spoken word, my all. Amen.-H. NJ. F..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
NOT TO BE CONSIDERED.

NOI TO BE CONSIDERED. Madam said the persuasive agent. T have here household necessity. Tho price is only s1. Now"
 Before you go any further, said the woman at the door, 'let me show you why you are wasting your time" Very well, madam
 If you were not stranger in town you would know that I am married to man who never spends nickel with out grooming. According to his point of view, nothing that costs sl is a household necessity"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
GLASS BY ITSELF

a CLASS BY ITSELF "Thmblewit is going to be chau- tauqua star"
 Does he propose to instruct his audi ences or merely to entertain them?" Neither. He will play selections on xylophone
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

Against the blown rose may they stop their nose That kneePd unto the buds.
 Antony and Cleopatra.
 * * *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28
SOPHISTICATIoN.
7,e.}-d3,ueQ
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

While knowledge is desirable,
 Not so, we wish to say, The worldly kind that you will find In every cabaret.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

Young George Morrow. Jr., quit the army to go in a machine shop here. and he has made that machine shop make as it never made it before. He
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-28

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second class matter un- der act of Congress. March s. lS79
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
DESTROYER DOWN WITH q
The Navy Department Reports the
Chauneey As Having Collided
With Another Vessel.

Washington, Nov. 21.-Twenty-one
Americans are believed to have been
lost when the small United States DIES.
Chauncey sank following a col
lision on patrol duty in foreign water
early Monday. The remaining seventy
officers and men of the crew were
saved. according to first dispatches
made public by Secretary Daniels
today.
The committee on public informa
ton gave out the following authorized
statement:
THE %Chsuncey, a small American
destroyer on patrol duty in foreign
waters, was sunk early Monday morn
ing.
First dispatches indicate that TWEEN
ty-one lives were lost.
The Chauncey was an old type de
stroyer, built in 1902, displacement Az
tons, crew ninety-one officers an,
men.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
BRITISH PREMIER STANDS PAT
LIoyd-eeorge Defends Himself in Roue
ing Speech in House Of Commons
Scores a Triumph.

London, Nov. 20.--Premier Lloyd
George defended himself in the house
of commons this afternoon against the
first serious attack his administration
has faced, and so far as the commons
is concerned his defense seemed high
ly successful: the prime minister's adj
mirers call it a triumph.
The attack was focused upon two
points -the character of the war coun-
ell which the premier announced in
Paris and the condemnation OF the Al
lies past strategy, which he pro
nounced in his Paris speech.
Former Premier Asquith was spokes-
man for the opposition. His speech
was not in the zone Of an attack, but
a sharp criticism Of the new plan for
allied control of the val and a vindi-
cation of his own government, for
which he remarked that he himself
and the present premier had each had
his particular share Of responsibility.
1t was keyed in a much milder strain
than the first hostile outburst from
the newspapers and sections of the
Liberal and Conservative parties which
greeted the premier on his return
home.
The Welsh leaders reply was a
characteristic fighting speech of the
type which has made him famous.
There was no thought Of r%etraetion for
anything he had said or done. no hint
OF an apologize strain which some ex-
pected for what had been called the
Paris indiscretions.
There were some passages which
would have made old school parlia-
m%entarians, stepped in G%ladstonian
traditions of stately courtesy, vince,
as when he said the attacks made him
feel as if he were crossing the chan.
mel in a storm on a small destroyer.
But Mr.. Lloyd-George always brings
something Of the touch of the stump
speaker into the commons, and this
gives him a stronger appeal to the
greater audience outside.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
ALIEN ENEMIES 70 REGISTER
President Wilson's Proclamation Pro-
hibits' German Subjects From En-
tering District Of Columbia.

Washington, Nov. 20.-All alien en-
emies are required to register and to
obtain permits for travel, under a
proclamation issued today by Presi-
dent Wilson. Enemies also are pro-
hibited approaching within one hun
dred yards of water fronts, docks,
railroad terminals, or storage houses
and are forbidden to enter or to reside
in the District Of Columbia.
The proclamation, issusd as a sup
plement to the n declaring a state
of wal with Germany, provides fur
Their that an alien enemy shall not,
except on public ferries, be found on
amy ocean, bay. river or other waters"
within the United States. They are
forbidden to fly in airplanes, balloons
or airships and to enter the Panama
Canal zone.
The attorney general will draw up
the rules for registering. Violation OF
the rules will cause the offender TO
be interned for the duration of the
war.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
GIVE WILSON A CLEAR FIELD

Washington, Nov. 2O.-Formal n
nouncement was made today that the
railroads of the United States had de-.
cided, II any crisis should arise, to
place their interests in the hands Of
President Wilson for protection and
such disposition as he may deem nee.
essary to prevent interruption Of
transportation during the war.
The four railroad b~rotherhoods,
which have made demands for in.
creased wages, have agreed to media.
ton of the dispute, but have refused
an unconditional submission Of the
questions to a board of arbitration.
Today's announcement by the rail.
road war board is regarded by officials
as eliminating the possibility of a
strike by giving the President a free
hand so far as the railroads are con-
cerned when he meets the brotherhood
leaders in conference here next Thurs.
day.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
THE ROCHESTER BOAT LANDS

London. Nov. 21.-The missing boat
from the American steamship Roches
ter which was sent to the bottom by a
German submarine November 2 has
Just landed at a port in Ireland, the
British admiralty announced today.
The boat contained five men, the only
survivors from the original boats crew
Of twelve.
The boat was commanded by the
first officer. Two men died of expos
ure and one became insane and jump.
ed overheard. Just before they reach.
cd the coast four others died. OF the
remaining tive, only the first officer
was able to walk. The hands and feet
of the four others we're badly swollen
and immediate medical treatment was
necessary.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
Children Cry
FOR FLETCHER'S
ORIA
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE
WITH WILL ANNFvFn

Notice is hereby given, that Let
tiers of Administration with win an
nexed on the estate of Upton Wilson
deceased, were granted to the under
signed on the 9th day of November.
1917, by the Probate Court of La.
tayette County, Missouri. All per
sons having claims against said es-
tate are required to exhibit them for
allowance to the undersigned within
SIX months after the date of grant
ing said letters, or they may be pre-
cluded from any benefit of said es-
tate; and if such claims be not ex-
hlblted within one year from the date
OF granting said letters, they will be
forever barred.
Witness my signature on this 9th
day of November, 1917.
M. ID. WILSON,
Administrator with will annexed.
Attested by Stephen N. Wilson, Judge
Of Probate for Lafayette county,
Missouri.
(Seal)
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1917-11-23
AMERICANS DEMAND UNITY

London. Nov. 19.-Col. Edward NJ.
House, head of the American mission,
has received a cablegram from Presi-
dent Wilson, stating emphatically that
the United States government consid.
ers that unity OF plan and control be-
tween all the Allies and the United
States is essential in order to achieve
a just and permanent peace.
President Wilson emphasized the
fact that this unity must be accom-
plished if the great resources of the
United States are to be used to the
best advantage, and he requests Colo
mel House to confer with the heads Of
the allied governments with a view to
achieving the closing possible cooper.
alton.