Iditarod pioneer., 1917-04-14
ACCUSES KAISER WILHELM
 OF STEALING GIDEON'S STUFF

The following humorous communication | appeared in recent issue of the Seward Gateway:
 Editor Gateway: In re "der kaiser quit claiming to Mexico and Japan certain lots, tracts and parcels of land situated m the United States of Amerca-for and m consideration of their fighting for and talk ing it away from us announced in last Mondays issue of your paper, l desire to publicly protest, not so much agalnst the transfer as against the assumption by him of originality of thought and action ill the premises He is plaglarist (twofold) Tn this matter of 'ways and means"
 At the close of our civil war Gideon 1 Armstrong returned to Leavenworth, Kan, | and was "authorized and empowered" 10 ride in the express and mail cars of the Chicago. Rock Island X Pacific Railway Company, as messenger. He was one of those men who 'never grow old" and who made of the world a "playground" d"-a fur loving, good-living, man of free habits" whom all children and dogs loved. At this Gme about one-third of Leavenworth'G pop ulation consisted of negro refugees from the former slave states, and only about one of a thousand could read and write. Most of these people (and few white trash") lived along the bank of the Missouri river; q goodly number spent much time in skifs on the river. 'juggin' fer catfish" and 'ketchin drif wood" sawlogs and lumber which hoaed down at every June rise. Gideon offered these people a business op- portunlty. He had about 1000 dodgers printed which read as follows:
 'Wanted-lOO niggers to catch
 drftwood Give them half of
 what they catch.-Gideon Arm
 strong"
 Some of the dodgers were posted in con- spicuous places and the rest scattered about town. The few colored people who could read immediately got busy and told the!r colored brethren about the adv'tisement, and they eagerly "rose to the fly because it was printed For two or three days fol lowing the business part of town swarmed with colored men and boys anxiously try ing to find "Misto Gid-e-un Armstrong what wanted l00 niggers fer to Ectch drlfwood an 'ud gib 'um half wot dey kotch.' The business eventually went into "lquid ation,' and henceforth, until he "cashed in." "Gd-e-un' was always designated "the president of the Great American Drlftwood Association" Der kaisers" "hunch' no doubt was inspired by, but not fairly ac- credited to "Gid-eun," who, if he were alive today would surely ride "Wild Bill H." with spurs and quirt for his low-down "hogging" of another's originality.
 Furthermore, "as and for second cause of complaint: Some time last year life" printed revised map of the United States of America for reference tat the conclu 1 sion of this world war. which showed how the United States would be redistricted by the senior member of the tirm-"Me und Gott t'-when ready for the real estate busi 1 ness. study of said map very clearly | showed der kaiser" that in case Mexico and | Japan "doubleteamed" against and con quered the United States he could afford | to reward them by giving them "half of what dey kotch, and retain unto himself 1 the great Missouri and Mississippi valleys, | Eastern and Southern states
 In conclusion l will state that since read | ;ng last nights paper every resident of Seward, excepting Japs. Mexicans and Ger l mans, are exceedingly alarmed at the in tentions of the all-powerful @ descendant ! of AtiNa-"the Scourge of God" d"-toward l our poor old United States, and therefore an honPst-to- God cross -my-heart, hope-to 1 die-if-not-true" publication of your opinion as to the probability of this stunt being pulled off would be much appreciated and i prepare use for the worst" I am par ! ticularly anxious for reliable information because l have brother living in Kansas City, Mo, and if he becomes "Teutonized" l and l should be Jap banned" we would 1 never be on speaking terms again hence these tears. Robert L. Wever