davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
And Then We Would
Say: Nov Do, Please, Be
Sure and Come Up Again"

Some folks load a gun, go out in the
brush and hunt up trouble.
Some also have time on their hands.
Some have TO discuss and cuss or their
lives are full of gloom.
Here's an organization of Southern
California mesdames who formally meet
70 formally discuss this:
What would do if. when the fire was
going for dinner, my husband should
come in with stranger and ask If dim
ner could be ready in twenty minutes,
and | had on hand bread, butter, fruit
and a few cold potatoes, half raw
onion. one quart of milk, six eggs, lit
tie boiled rice, few cooked carrots, and
nothing else but salt, pepper, vinegar,
spices and bunch of parsley"
We're only mere man, but we know
what we would do.
In 10 minutes we'd give that stranger
a corking layout of bread, butter, fruit,
potatoes. eggs, onion, milk, rice and car
rots, and if he turned up his nose at it,
we'd take him by the throat and make
him eat that bunch of parsley.
But then. what would women's socie-
ties do, if they didn't have something to
discuss?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
The Lost Bazaars
By Daniel n Henderson

I always said that before I got
Tied down by q wife and Kids.
ia 90 90 see the great god Budd"
An the Sphinx an PyrAmids-
Tvs the big b&zaArs I want most 70
see
What read In . RiplinE book
Has kept me wishin day an night
For chance 10 80 an look.
I've been vorkin' steady in Jubbs
garage.
An rye saved what I could have
spent
FOR tobacco an moviss-sn' now
could take
Ny tour Of the Orient.
rst last night on the sofa with
Nance.
Somehow let myself slip.
An kissed her. an mentioned what
I'd saved.
But not word OF my trip
Wei. Nance isn't bold. yet she drop
ped a hint
That lots o. folks married on less
An. you see, I couldn't act selfish
60 the matters settled. 7 guess
Til give her my savin's to nt up .
nat
But to-day as cleaned ths cars.
A voice kept sayin'. You paid for
with your oriental basaars."
Golfers
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
Anniversaries

iso1-Congrsss repealed the law
preventing the natives OF an enemy :
country from becoming citizens Of
the United states
in2--That part OF West Florida
vest OF Pearl river annexed 20 Louis
Isi7--Admirai Sir John Thomas
Duckworth. celebrated English
naval officer in the Napoieonic wars.
died at Plymouth, England Born
Feb. %. 1884.
isso-Bin for a national road from
Buffalo 90 New Orleans rejected In
house OF representatives
ls4z-Act OF congress authorizing
contract 20 be made with Robert l.
stevens OF New York for the building
OF an iron war steamer. 20 be shot
and shell proof
iBts--Prussian government sent
assistanoe 90 schleswtg and Hoistein
against Danes
tsss-PresIdent lincoln shot By J.
wilkes Booth.
tss1-Ths United states voluntarily
paid $4,000 TO relatives OF the Itai-
iahs lynched In New Orleans
lSst-oen. Henry W. slocum. noted
civil war commander, died At BROOK
I'm, n y Born at Delphi. n y
fSo6-The body OF John Paul Jones
was discovered in Paris by Cen. Hor-
OWE YEAR AGO TODAY IN THE
WAR
Italians captured Lohbia Mountain
Russians carried by storm a height
in CAiicta.
Turks reported 90 have been routed
BY Russians west OF ErEerum.
Bombs dropped on constAntinopie
By three British aeroplanes which
covered 800 miles.
ToDAY's BIRTHDAYS.
Rear Admiral Albert W. Grant
commanding the Atlantic submarine
force OF the United States navy. born
Ia Maine. 81 years ago today.
Princess Beatrice. youngest dauRh-
ter OF the late Queen Victoria and
aunt OF King George ". born 80 years
ago today.
Or. Martin q. Brumbaugh governor
Of Psnnsylvania. born In Huntington
county. Pa. So years ago today.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

vsrtns His assertions and
With advertisers hsrsn the the dollar fails TO
recognition
honest advertisers does not dishonest dvsrssrs who may Ss
applicable
preserving the integrity Of .dvsine and protsens the advertising
will
eonseered The printed Address
Mirror The Times Detroit Mick
know he
mend a corporation.
The Adj does
The Harroun corporation win
completed and i installed
q w veeks
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
No Compulsion

The great menace 20 democratic
institutions in this country is not
physical war, but the movement
for compulsory military service.
Democracy means. II n means any
thing In political life. the freedom
OF the Individual. Government II
Justified only as II contributes to-
ward the establishment Of this
right II we wish 10 set up an
autocracy. q plutocrAcy. or an
oligarchy. compulsion viii be an
inevitable part; but II we are to
continue the great American sx.
ment Of a government OF. by aud
for the people, individual freedom
must be preserved
Tho a majority In democracy
may vote war. II has no right 20
vote the minority into the army n
n be a Just and necessary war there
win be no lack OF volunteers: n n
be unjust and unnecessary II should
not be supported. And who In a
democracy should decide for each
individual whether be is 10 con
tribute his life 20 the war. hls
neighbOrs. or himself3
The difference between a volm.
teer army and an army OF con.
scripts lies In the fact that voiun-
teers fight when they wish: where
~. conscripts must fight when their
leaders wish. II marks the differ.
ence between a democracy and an
autocracy. A volunteer army will
never be used against free institu-
tons A conscript army begins by
dsByiRg ths PFtEaa- essential te- free
institutions. individual liberty. ard
ends with the subjugAtion OF all
democracy
Let the government make such
preparation for defense az the PEG
pie. after full and fair discussion
may decide. Let II provide for such
an army and navy as may be
thought best But let II be manned
BY volunteers. There IL q natural
impulse to serve ones country. In
youth and early manhood there IA
pronounced willingness 10 night
Such men will gladly take the
necessary training for volunteer ser.
vice n the army and navy be pu,
on a rational basis. Our trouble
has come from attempting 20 graf,
All autocratlc practice upon a demo
cratic institution. Wipe out mi,
relic OF European privilege, human.
ize the military service by makins
all enlist az privates and work their
way up. and there will soon do.
velop the sympathy and eficiency
that mark commercial life.
No majority nor any number OF
citizens has any more night IN
compel a man TO enter the army
than 20 force him 70 be a minister.
or merchant, or q chauffeur. or a
policeman. They may appeal 20 the
citizen 10 become a soldier. a. they
ray ask him 20 become a police.
man; but they should offer sum.
cicnt inducement IN the one case
~ In the other. II II no more the
DUTY Of one man 10 be a policeman
or soldier than another; nor does
Il square with democracy 10 require
al men 10 become soldiers. For by
the very act OF eompulsion the
foundation Of liberty IL undermined.
and free institutions will hasten 20
their end Compulsory military SET.
vice is incompatible with democ-
racy The Public
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
Bits
~ DR. FRANK CRANE
Copyright 1915. by Frank Craus)

Behold, We put bits in the horses
mouths"
That is perfectly good text which
you will find in the Bible if you know
where TO look.
It's marvelously suggestive. Didn't
you ever wonder why horse goes about
the streets so meekly, drawing loads
that do not interest him, standing hours
IN one place, and again trotting along.
for no reason at all. as far as he can see,
Just for some within of the little two
legged creature that drives himf Do
you know whyl
II is because the man knows how To
put bit in the horses mouth, and the
horse doesn't know enough to spit II out.
And why do the toiling millions TO ON
toiling, underpaid. underfed, cowed, and
dumb, while few favored ones eat pie
and dress in purple and fine linen? And
why do the loafers give orders and the
workers obey them? Answer: The bit
is in their mouth and they don't know
chouBH 10 get ll out.
Why do the millions in Germany and
Russia march out and get shot without
the slightest idea of what it's all aboutf
Answer again: Bits. They're bittsd and
ridden to their death even rs the horse
is driven whittier and why he knows
not.
Why do all the poor boobs of this
world move docilely along doing the will
and pleasure of few clever onesf
Why do thousands Of citizens vote for
men and measures they know or care
nothing about, simply because the bosses
Of their political party give the wordf
Why have the multitude accepted
creeds they did not understand and con-
sented to practices they abhor, at the
bidding of hierarchies, from the days Of
Egypt down TO these timesi
Why are people content to remain I'M
der the wasteful sway Of competition
when they might prosper and be happy
IN co-operation7
Behold, they are horses, and the bits
are in their mouths.
A man once went to see friend of his
who had recently got job in an insane
asylum as keeper. He found him out on
the farm Of the institution overseeing
gang of some dozen insane patients,
strong, husky hellows, cutting grass. He
said to the keeper:
Il should think your position here
would be dangerous. These fellows are
big and strong and could easily overpow-
er you. What would you do IL they were
to get together some time and come at
your"
And his friend the keeper replied: IF
they knew enough to get together thsy
wouldn't be here"
And If the peasants who are shooting
the daylights out of each other in Eu-
rope knew enough TO get together, they
would all go home.
Alas for the horsel He cannot get the
bit out of his mouth
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

ness.
The mobilization OF the country's
agricultural products must go hand
in hand with preparations for put
ting factories and ammunition
plants on war footing. The health
OF a nation depends in q large meas
ure upon its food.
The wanton destruction OF food
is as much OF a traitorous act as
sheltering a national enemy or de-
Froying arms and ammunition
The housewife must be econom-
teal in the preparation OF food and
must cook II we'll. 30 that meals
will be tasty and digestible and
waste will be eliminated.
Preparedness against preventable
disease should include vaccination
against typhoid and smallpox.
Germany saved enough men from
smallpox in the past 10 years 10
Offset her terrific losses at verdun.
according TO health experts.
Fewer men were killed In the
armies OF the north and south In
The civil war than have died from
typhoid fever in the United States
In the past 10 years. Yet this dis
ease 81 entirely preventable
Reduction OF the infant mortality
rate viii help repair the wastages
81 var.
Figures compiled by Canadian
health officials show that the Do
minions losses since the European
war started are considerably less
than the loss from preventable dis
ease az home during the same
period
The no population 81 a country
after war depends largely upon The
yiRor with which health ofncials
prosecute campaign against pre-
vcntable disease.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

r. q Pam troubled with pain
al the top OF my head AZ times. my
face hushes. head feels heavy and
have poor circulation. Am also very
nervous"
Constipation might cause all OF
your symptoms. but I would advise
you 10 have a complete physical ex-
animation. The examination should
include urine and blood pressure
teskA.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
Headed on

did you tell her when you pro
posed 10 her that you were un-
worthy o. her. That always makes
bit with them"
7 was going 10. bat she tosd n 10
ne hrue~-<Puuh'
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

Cant do that, neither. He never had his
picture taken"
II am afraid. then, must decline"
Decline! What for Haven't you painted
Moses? You didn't have a photograph OF him
did YOU? No, I thought not. Well. my father
haint been dead nearly as long az Moses N
YOU can paint Moses you ought TO know enough
10 paint my father"
Approaching the situation the artist vent 20
work and evolved such a portrait he thought
might satisfy 30 original a son
"Corkeyl" exclaimed the ART patron on seeing
The completed painting. That almost knocks
The stufnn' out Of Moses; bat go, hsw ~ 80
ehnnEedf~
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
from Another Point of VieD
A Detroit reports the first fly.
Also that il was swatted.
A CONCLUSION

We have been thinking the matter over and
we have concluded that n is the fact that most
OF the automobiles are made here. and not our
pavements. which gives us tho distinction OF
being the automobile city
Uncle Sam might put over a coup by
making the first call for men recently
married.
We take il that not few Of those
young men are taking brides with the
idea of escaping service in the navy. Wait
until they find themselves paying for the
rigging.
Lloyds are betting 10 TO ! that the war will be
over I'm 90 days. We'd take a chance. but We
want TO see the pcsky thing over with by that
time
II the spy system has gone into effect
on our police force, we respectfully sub
NIT herewith that there would appear TO
be need of some more spies to spy on the
spies.
Wasn't last Wednesday. beautiful. sprngiiks
dayi ----.---------
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

Number OF newspaper men were
collaborating In an obituary no
dee.
What shall we say OF ne
former senatorP" asked one Of
the men.
"oh, Just put down That he
was always faithful 90 MA
trust ?"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

American. Sick
ness will hamper
the national en-
cheney. whether
among soldiers or
n o. combatants.
Disease proven.
ton IL a good
form OF prepared
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

them and have MADE US iaugh al Ineh.
But we would pity the playwright who
would try the thing on ms today.
Only recently We saw our National
Guard go away to Mexico, on a mission
that gave every promise at the time Of its
mobilization of being no joking affair.
Now the First battalion of the Michi-
gan naval militia has gone on another
cruise, that is to be neither pretty soft"
NOR Joy ride"
Il has gone to WAR,
The men are the first to go and will
b the first to see active service
Many of those who shifted and sneered
md doubted haven't as yet given the mat
tsr Of going to war very serious thought.
Some of them are perhaps very thank
al at this time that they were not
counted in on the annual cruises that were
tnlsn not at all seriously by those who
Id not take them.
The Michigan naval militia is composed
q young men from our best TODD fami-
~. accustomed to plenty; accustomed TO
swing orders instead of taking them
mAccustomed TO hardships.
Tor them the hardships of war must
prove ''harderships."
Tor many Of them there is nothing in
: material sense that could be added 10
what thsy have.
Individually they have nothing what
svw 70 gain and everything to lose.
Thsy have fine homes, plenty Of money,
lasss circles Of friends, club memberships,
susps, golf courses, social standing, in
nnonce.
They have all of the things that many
a N are left 30 hope for, and the posses
don of which has been set by many a
young man as his goal of contentment
and happiness.
These, the members of the Michigan
naval militia give up and leave behind
with willingness TO sacrifice them and
their lives In the bargain-F0R THEIR
COUNTRY.
We need no proof beyond that which
these young men supply that American
patriotism knows neither place nor class.
We need no further proof that our
country has SUCCEEDED with its prin-
cip1es Of democracy, when we see blue
jeans and evening suits come off together
Tor q garb of khaki and jackets of blue.
The cheers that rang thru Detroit's
streets as the First battalion of the naval
militia marched on to entrain for Some
where" were richly deserved.
We doubt not that those who mistak-
insiy considered that annual cruise not
ut all seriously were among those who
cheered loudest.
These cheers were not alone for the
young men in line.
They were for mothers and fathers. and
sisters, and sweethearts, too-these max
ing, as willingly, the great sacrifice that
war calls for.
Cheers for mothers are great
They appeal to our noblest impulses and
make us mindful again of how much we
owe TO them.
These lives for which mothers risked
THEIR lives, they offer now freely to
their country.
Let's not forget to cheer when we see
our men marching away, for cheering
them is cheering mothers.
With them at this time we experience
the sentiment and the spirit of sacrifice
in the lines Of ~The Old Man and Jim"
Goodbye. lads; take keer y'rselves.
.<I.1I
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
The Keep Well
Column
-
HEALTHt

Keeping in good health by right
living is the patriotic duty OF every
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14
Laugh With Us

A wellknovn comedian one day while fuI.
filling an engagement In Dublin was walking
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

Greatness comes By doing great
fblnu.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

stout lady. when an Irish wo-
man with a basket brushed
rudely against her.
You had better walk over
me-" said the comedians wife
irritably. The Irish woman
turned round, cooily viewed
her from head 90 foot. and
replied:
Faith. ma'arn. II would be ca
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

Upon the recent death IN q western town OF
politician who, AZ one time, served hts country
- luh
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

Are you the man who painted that ere Mo
ture OF Moses In the Bulrushes'?" asked a eo,,n-
tryman Of an artist who had recently startled
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

oil paintings.
Yes" replied the artist.
All right; then want you
10 paint my father"
Certainly. N ne viii give me
a few sittings."
Cant do a.; he's dead"
Let me have a photograph
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-04-14

And" queried cynical member OF the xruuu.
shall we mention the name OF the trustr'-
Puck.
New Britain herald., 1917-11-05

farm. If you consider this year alto gether by itself, and the potato crop independent of other problems of the farm, 1t seems that that price Is too high, that the former is asking some thing he has no right to ask for his potatoes. But, granting that there is in potatoes at $2 per bushel at the farm a clear profit of 50, or even 75 cents per bushel, what does that mean? It means that the back coun- try farmer. for once in his life, is making a profit on one thing he is raising. It may possibly, mean for some men who have been able to grow potatoes at low cost and mar ket them advantageously at a big profit. For the average back country farmer however, 1t means that rare thing-an opportunity for once for real profit making.
 But do not think that this means r spending-spree on the part of the back country farmer. Rather, it means in many homes there will be some added convenience. I have in mind just now a family of fine people who, probably, have never taken a bath in a bathtub. It may become possible now. I think of another fam fly. splendid people, where a little profit of this kind may mean the in stallation of a modern stove, and in another the installation of running water in the kitchen sink, which does tnot mean the great luxury of hot and E cold running water, but simply a supply of water from the we'll. have no doubt that the life of many wo- man in the country will be less filled with drudgery in consequence of the profit on potatoes this year, if there is a profit. But that is not all. For many another farmer good profit on his potatoees this year means that he
 will be able to buy some of the mod ern machinery that is growing more and more essential on farm. lie may be able to buy a gasoline en-
New Britain herald., 1917-11-05
THE TWO LOANS.

While Russia has just completed its second war loan Austria announces it's seventh. The former country, torn into two separate and distinct camps, has rallied around to the Kerensky government to the tune of two billion rubles. The amount asked for was four billion. A ruble is, or was, worth slightly more than fifty cents i'll American money. At the present rate of exchange 1t is hardly worth thir- teen cents. Yet this does not detract one iota from the work of the Rus- sian people in subscribing to their second war loan. All things con- sidered Russia has done we'll to even float the loan.
 In Austria things are different. The people have Germany to thank for a repulse of the Italian invaders and this will go long way in having an effect on frightened purse strings. From the beginning of the war, Austria has f1oated two loans a year,-in May and November. The time Is there- fore due for this seventh loan. Were
New Britain herald., 1917-11-05

zine which will multiply the results in g. potato digger or a small auto truck.
 I hear city people say. over and over Think how shiftless these far mers are. Why doesn't that man have an auto, instead of driving that team of horses? Why does that man use those antiquated farm imple- ments?" We'll, the answer Is that he has never been able to get ahead enough to buy the devices that he needs, and he has been too cautious to mortgage his future by buying them. He realizes the risks. If pota- toes this year had gone to 75 cents, many a man who invested hard earned savings in potato growing would have lost heavily. Further more the profit which the farmer might possibly make this year, on his potatoes would mean that, if he were a keen and energetic man, his farm was really a paying enterprise this year. He could show it to be by statement of his business for the year, and thus prove that for this year he had made a real success. That will enable him to borrow money and ex- tend his operations and to undertake larger operations next year, with ad- ditional equipment, and more seed and fertilizer. Not only that, but a profit on the farm will enable him, if he so desires, to borrow on the farm itself through mortgage, and, possi- bly,, buy additional land.
 This much it will mean to the indi- vidual farmer. What may 1t mean to agriculture, in general, in the coun- ty? It may mean that agriculture, being really profitable and not just a way to eke out an existence with long CT hours and harder work than any other business in the world, other men would see their way to go into farming, and the marginal farm might be brought inot use again. At present we do not see herds of peo- ple just falling over each other to get out on to the farms perhaps to work from 4:30 in the morning until 7 o'clock at night at hard manual labor and to put their money into one of the most risky businesses on earth.
 Tn other words the paying of good price for potatoes this year to the farmers of this section means the investment of that much, and a good deal more in the agriculture of this country
 In addition to this may l say that I believe many farmers are making a great mistake in holding their pota- toes for excessively high prices.
 Self1shness never pays in the long run.
 OTIS H. MOORE. Hartford County League, No. 45O
 Asylum street, Hartford, October
 30.