Middletown transcript., 1917-03-24

On the day when X. had told Max his
reason for giving up his work, Sidney
spent her hour with Max that evening
as usual. His big chair had been
drawn. close to window, and sne
found him there, looking out. She
kissed him. But instead Of letting her
draw away, he put out his arms and
caught her to him.
"Smile at me. You don't smile any
more. You ought to smile; your
mouth"
'I am almost always tired; that's all,
Max"
She eyed him bravely.
aren't you going to let me make
love to you at all? You get away be-
yond my reach"
Il was looking for the paper to read
to you"
A sudden suspicion famed in his
eyes.
Sidney, you don't like me to touch
YOU any more. Come here where l can
see you."
The fear of agitating him brought
her quickly. For moment he was ap-
peased.
That's more like it. How lovely you
are, Sidney!' He lifted first one hand
and then the other to his lips. Are
you ever going to forgive me?"
"If you mean about Carlotta, for
gave that long ago."
He was almost boyishly relieved.
What a wonder she was! So lovely,
and so sane. Many woman would
have held that over him for years-not
that he had done anything really wrong
on that nightmare excursion. But so
many women are exigent about prom
ises.
"When are you going to marry me?
1--WE needn't discuss that tonight,
Max. Can't we talk things over when
you are strOnger?"
Her tone caught his attention, and
turned him a little white. He faced
her to the window, so that the light fell
on her.
"What things? What do you mean?"
He had forced her hand. She had
meant to wait; but, with his keen eyes
on her, she could not dissemble.
Il am going to make you very un-
happy for little while"
"Well?"
'I've had a lot of time to think. 1t
%hn< 7 nnt
Jealous. l was at first. 1t isn't that.
It's hard to make you understand. l
think you care for me"
"But, good heavens, Sidney, you do
care for me, don't your"
"Tm afraid I don't, Max; not
enough"
She tried to explain, rather pitifully.
After one look at his face, she spoke
to the window.
"I'm so wretched about it. thought
1 cared. To me you were the best and
greatest man that ever lived. I-when
1 said my prayers, L But that doesn't
matter. You were sort of god to
me-"
He groaned under his breath.
mo man could live up to that, Sid
ney."
"No. see that now. But that's the
way 1 cared. It's just that 1 never
loved the real you, because I never
knew you"
When he remained silent, she made
an attempt to justify herself.
"rd known very few men," she said.
Il came into the hospital, and for a
time life seemed very terrible. There
were weaknesses had never heard
Of, and somebody always paying for
them. l was always asking, Why?
Why? Then you would come in, and a
lot of them you cured and sent out.
You gave them their chance, don't you
see? Until l knew about Carlotta, you
always meant that to me. You were
like Railways helping"
The room was very silent. In the
nurses parlor, few feet down the cor
ridor, the nurses were at prayers.
'Yea, though walk through the val
| ley of the shadow of death"
The man in the chair stirred. He
had come through the valley of the
shadow, and for what? He was very
bitter He said to- himself savagely
that they would better have let him
die:
''YOu say you never loved me because
you never knew me. I'm not a rotter,
Sidney. Isn't it possible that the man
you cared about, whO-who did his
best by people and all that's the real
me?'
She gazed at him thoughtfully. He
missed something out of her eyes, the
sort of luminous, wistful greatness,
Measured by this new glance, so clear,
so appraising, he shrank back into his
chair.
"The man who did his best is quite
real You have always done your best
in your work; you always will. But
the other is a part of you too, Max.
Even if l cared, I would not dare to
run the risk"
She took a step toward the door,
hesitated, came back, and put light
hand on his shoulder.
"Im sorry, dear Max"
She had kissed him lightly on the
cheek before he knew what she intend
ed to do. So passionless was the little
caress that, perhaps more than any
thing else, it typified the change in
their relation.
When the door closed behind her, he
saw that she had left her ring on the
arm of his chair. He picked it up. It
was still warm from her finger. He
held it to his lips with quick gesture
In all his successful life he had never
before felt the bitterness of failure