The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-01-31
Dolly Hears Mrs. Caudle, IT,, Deliver Some Very Pointed Curtain Lectures
 Mr. Caudle Has Taken to Playing Golf

8BM AIR. CAUDLE. what will you llWlI do next? You've taken
 SNS up dominoes. poker, bil- lizards, auction rum chess and now
 the Lord be praised, you've taken to
 playing golf! I don't know why I feel as
 do about golf, but it gets on my nerves terribly. Maybe it's because I know so little about it, and maybe it's because there are so many clubs used In playing it, the very name of club makes me think of your late hours and the way you keep the meals waiting and the de- moralizing effect such things have had upon our household. Then the names of those clubs you play with, 'brassies and putters' and 'caddies and things; why, 1 never could play golf myself; l wouldn't even know which end of the caddie to play with However, as I was
 about to say, what will you take to next? don't wish to upbraid you, my deal;
 Pm too tired and worn out for that.
 It's killing me, Mir Caudle killing me,
 tell you, this strenuous golf habit you've
 contracted.
 I'm afraid it will be my finish
 "Of course. MT. Caudle, l want you to
 enjoy yourself; l want you to have your
 pleasures, but where were you Tuesday?
 Late for dinner, out on the golf links;
 Wednesday, late again; again the golf
 links. Thursday the same old story, golf once more. Oh, you needn't twist and turn about in that manner, Mir Cau- dle; you know that every word I'm speaking is the unvarnished truth No, I'm not going to quarrel; l realized the utter futility of that years ago. But am going to say what I think, sir All 1 want you to do is to tell me who Induced you to take up golf! Any other man would speak to his wife instead of lying there in your nice warm bed like log. I say all I want you to tell me- MT. Caudle, is who induced you to take up golf. It's a rich mans game; it's fat mans game; it's an old mans game Now, MT Caudle, everybody knows you are not rich everybody knows you are not as fat as you are going to be some day; everybody knows that you go about boasting of your youth, and struttlng around pretending to be young and agile, So from your viewpoint none of these things could be the reason. The thing that I can't understand about you, Mir Caudle, is why you are such a hypo- crite When I asked you where you were all those three days when you came Ill late for dinner you told different story every solitary time. and I knew all the time where you were. Then why did ask you? Merely to see just how big whopper you'd tell in trying to de- ceive me. You've only played golf three times? That's quite enough; you are lost man. And to think you are among that class who are called the lords of creatonr Pretty lord, you are that can stay away from his wife and family and keep dinner waiting an hour and half. and everything getting stone cold and shriveled up, just to tag around a golf course following a foolish little old white ball, with long club trying to knock it into a hole, or over a what dye call it. bunker or something awful? What pleasure any sane man can get out Of such foolishness is Greek to a sensible woman. I pity you, MT. Caudle from the bottom of my heart.
 And to think you might be at your office making money for your wife and children when we need it so badly, in- stead of galvanting over the hills at the club or dear knows where But mo- anything but that. It's all over now, Mr. Caudle. You are lost forever; you've gone to destruction and l know who has