The Washington herald., 1917-11-09
Rupoup
PERKINS

S IN
| The Crepe Is on Blanche.
Blanche's beau works In an under
taker shop. He is a very quiet. Sc
date fellow and very bashful.
The other day Blanche went to see
him. 1t semed to her that he wasn't
at all pleased to see her. She de-
cided to leave.
Shes puckered her lips Up for him
to kiss boodby. He did not see them.
She looked inquisitively at him for
a minute wondering what was the
matter.
"Yo is in jes' de right place 70
me to bang yo on the bean en- put
you out OBJ commission" she said
scornfully. "Ah knows OBJ no better
place TO bang yo one den right here.
| Up against his jaw came the ink
we'll. 1t Jared all his teeth. Glanc-
ing off his chin, 1t went through the
glass door.
Buanche has lost most Of her rage
now. She's out $50.
Everything Cost Money.
| "Jedge. how kin All help it ef things
costs a lot OBJ money? What is poah
folks guine do wen dey only has
81 or 50 to go to market with? Wen
All Gums homo wild little bit OBJ
stuff in nah basket nah husband has
nit en- mos kills me-
You are not charged with the high
cost of living" the court reminded
Ella Simms, who broke a brand new
chair over her husbands head
Chairs cost money. too." reminded
D H. a.
after you for stopping on the way
to market and spending money fool
ishly, you have no right to try to
kill him."
Hubert Simms, the husband. accuses
in the market and throwing the other
half away. Hence the fight.
Ella refused to stand for the accu-
| sation. Unlike most women. she pre-
ferred fighting to arguing.
But what Is the difference since
the husband has to spend more money
to pay his wife's fine? 1t was only
five spot.
Pity the Poor Bow-wow.
The other day Howard Biggs sent
his little boy to the store to buy a
cake of soap. He owns a little white
dog and wanted to give him a bath.
The boy, Clarence, stopped and
loitered on the way. The i'm
po-tance of washing the dog didn't
cut much ice with him.
In ten minutes the father was
running peli-mell down the street.
He grabbed his offspring by the ear.
He thrashed him.
Watching all this was Amanda
Craig. Amanda went over to How
ard and called him down about
whipping such a small boy. She
didn't know it was father and son.
Howard swore at her. She blush
ed. Then he planted his fist in her
jaw and blacked both of her eyes
Then she screamed.
A cop took charge of Howard
The dog got no bath that day. 1t
was rather cool for one anyhow.
Amanda didn't want to see How
ard go to jail, but she did want him
punished some way. He got $40
worth.
The Green-eyed Monster.
The lady mail carriers haven't a
thing to do with this story.
For a couple of months back Rose
Jenkins has been receiving per-
fumed letters from Richmond. This is
also interesting to Maggie Roane.
who used to receive the same kind
Of letters from the same man.
Maggie paid a social call at the
house where Rose roomed. On the
mantel she saw one of those letters.
She stuck it in her mum, so Rose
said.
The boy in Richmond pleaded with
Rose to believe that he had answer
ed her last letter. And Rose in
sisted that she hadn't received it.
A youngster in the house whis-
pered in Roses ear. From that min
ute on she was wise to everything.
She flew around to Maggie's room.
Harsh words followed. Rose called
Maggie one of those short ugly
things. Maggie picked up the pitch
er OF the washstand and Rose got
it back of the ear
So the boy in Richmond will not
have any explanation to make for
at least thirty days. Maggie is in.
She'll Never Marry Harry.
One Sunday after church Harry
Brady sought an introduction to a
pew in front of him. He was sue
cessful.
He and Ida Carter talked for quite
little while. Harry was invited
to call. He accepted. Ida went
away rather happy.
When she got home she called for
mother. Her purse was gone. No,
she told mother, she hadn't put It in
the collection plate.
Never once did she think of
Harry. Why should she? He was
a respectable looking man. He
didn't look like one of those things.
She mentioned her loss to an ex-
beau. Off-hand she mentioned meet
/ ing Harry. The man smiled. Then
he gave her a little information.
Harry was locked up. But no
purse could be found. They gave
him the third degree. Then 1t all
cleared up. He had spent Ida's
money to buy her a present. Quite
nice little scheme.
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