Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-02-27
JUST HARMLESS
LOVE MAKING
Girl Enamored With Cool
Young Man Seeks
Advice
BY BEATRICE FAIRFAX

A little while ago a letter came to
me which both amused and hurt me.
1t read something like this:
II am in love with q young man
whose feeling for me is, fear, moth
ing more than passing fancy. But
care for him SO much that l will be
willing to take almost any chance to
win him. And yet, when he wants to
kiss me and says that there is no harm
in little love-making. something
stops me. t.
please tell me what to do. Don't
say what you think you ought to say
because it sounds well, but what you
honestly would do if you were girl
like me-"
Now, it happens that what I would
do if I were that girl and had the
background of sane Judgment her let
ter indicates, and what 1 think 1
ought to say are one and the same
thing.
When man tells a girl there is no
harm in a. little love-making, he is
trying to salve his conscience and to
convince himself as well as her. Love
is either sacred or profane emotion
"a big thing or trifle. And no mod
ern sophistries about it can lead us
away from that. No psychology or
psycho-analysiS or other product of
modern thought can swing us away
from the fact that modesty is modesty,
respect is self-respect.
The Penalty
The girl who lets man kiss her
lightly, in response to the emotion of
the moment, because he is a man and
she is girl and the fact that this
kindles flare of feeling" cheapens
herself in that mans eyes and makes
herself seem to him unworthy of a
fine and serious love. And so it will
be as long as the world lasts and hu-
man nature is human nature. A man
may want very much to kiss a girl for
whom he has a passing fancy and may
fairly fight for his de1ire, but once
he has had it the desire is satisfied
and automatically it destroys it
self. This is, of course, the case of
passing fancy which my corre-
spondent described.
True love is different thing. 1t
declares itself honestly for what 1t
is, and it doesn't have to talk about
little harmless love-making," be-
cause it is above making cheap love.
Since 1t feels true love, it is big and
fine and staunch and sturdy.
"a little harmless love-making"
generally conducts business under
such cheap and undignified names as
"spooning," "mushing' and other
equally repellent terms. And there is
no way of getting away from the fact
that it is harmful to dignity and self
respect and all the dictates OF decency.
Dccency to the Winds
That is not too strong a term to
use, for whoever cheapens what
ought to be splendid and pure and
fine is actually throwing aside all and
with deep and reverent emotion. On
the other hand, there is cheap feeling,
eXpending itself standards of decency.
There is no such thing as "a little
harmless love-making." On the one
hand there is true love, big and un-
afraid, expressing itself sacredly
where 1t chooses and expressing itself
lavishly. 1t fizzles up like a sky-rocket
and there is nothing else. Passing
fancy" is delicate way of describing
it. 1t is a thing of the air and it dis
appears into thin air. Real love has
roots and substance.
The girl who accepts the cheap
tribute of mans passing fancy low
ers her standards and his. She grasps
at air and has nothing.
This is not the conventional ad-
vice of an older woman to young
girl. 1t is a statement of what every
woman knows deep in her heart of
hearts.