The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-03-29

THE EMMl
, Eyes, there seems to be an increas
in cranks these days. If the thin
keeps on for another rs years ther
will be about half the people of thi
here blessed country in the insan
hospitals of the land"
The teacher said: "What kind Of a
overcoat have you, James ?"
81 have woolly overcoat," an
swered James.
what kind of an overcoat has you
dog, Charles?"
"My dog has a woolly overcoat
teacher"
"Peter, can you take your warn
woolly overcoat off 2"
"Yes, / can"
Frederick, can your dog take of
his warm, woolly overcoat?"
mo, he can't"
"Henry, why can't dog take his
warm, woolly overcoat Off"
Because, teacher, God only knows
where the buttons arep
A doctor, called to the home of a
Mr.. Nation the other night, left with
out telling his wife where he was
going. When he returned rather late
the wife asked him where he had
been. Her displeasure wasn't less
ened when in reply to her question
he said: ~ was attending the birth
of Nation" "And never asked me
to accompany your" she answered re-
provingly. And then, "Were there
many there?" Gust the family and
myself" the doctor replied, as Re
kicked off a shoe.
at appears to me-, said Old Bill
Misgivens, as he planted his cold feet
on the radiator and rubbed his ears,
"that there are 'tarnal lot of people
geecfng crazy these days or else l am
falling behind the times. For instance,
| met up with a man the other day
who told me that he was working on
a one-man flying machine which he
says will be the handiest thing that
ever was. AS near as l could get at
it from the description, he expects
to fasten on a pair of wings and
tail piece and just soar away like
an eagle. He says that the wings
will be run by a small motor which
will get it's power from the heat of
he body of the flyer. He insists that
With his invention the natural heat of
he body will be ample to supply the
power to run the motor. So any time
he man or any member of his family
wants to take an outing all he will
ave to do will be to fasten on the
wings and tail piece and sail away.
When l expressed doubt about the
Of his invention he got
lot and said that | was an old fossil
nd ignoramus and back number, and
idn't know anything on general prin-
iples.
another man / met is working on
plan to store up the power of the
daho wind so that it can be used
0 run any kind of machinery or auto
mobiles or anything that has to use
over. Now, l got the idea at first
hat it was some sort of new-fan-
led windmill he was working on, but
e said that wasn't it at all. What
e proposes to do is to store the wind
over in some kind of storage bat
,ry so that it can be fastened to a
lachine any old time whether the
ind is blowing or not. He said that :
e had been making calculations in
iaho every year and as near as he
,uld come at it by careful calcula- :
on there is about a billion horsepow-
that just naturally is wasted every
ear, doing nobody any good and
lusing lot of profanity that people
i'll have to answer for hereafter. By
s proposed invention enough stored :
,wer to run all the railroads, street ;
r lines, pumping plants and machin-
y of every kind there is in the state I
ithout having any smoke and dirt as h
pen we burn coal. l sort of ques n
,ned the possibility of his getting i,
halter on the wind and he went V
yht up in the air; said it was just r.
CHI old fogies and knockers as me $
10 was keeping back the march of h
ogress. Of course, when | saw the VI
" he felt about it l quit expressing i,
ubts and told him one thing was +,
ad certain, and that was if his in d
ntion worked the way he expected a
had the biggest thing in the world. ST
said that just between him and o,
and the gate post he was certain o,
would work and that within 10 or II,
years he expected to make so much w
new that old John D. would look M
e piker. w
L hadn't hardly recovered from g,
t before | run on to Jim Dilberry sT
o said he had little confidential r.,