davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1917-04-01
OH, molly HOSES!

Say, listen to this, and then go
off and throw conniptlon fit and
puke up your liver
Mr.. and Mrs. Bob Fltzsinmons
have got into evangellstic game a
la Billy Sunday, and Mrs. f. has
her Fitzy-witzy studying the
Bible in the hope that he may yet
be able to give Sunday clubs and
spades and beat HIM ..t his own
game.
Formerly Bob pounded the
everlasting stutfing out of an op-
ponent in the fighter S ring cheer
ed by the base mob, himself the
exponent Of brutality. Then he and
Mrs. Fitz would have a lew mari
tlal differences more or less pep
perry, and maybe a bout or two Of
connubial fsticutf.
Later, when Bob lost his punch
and had his face beaten out Of hu-
man semblance, he AMI the Mrs.
oapered before the footlights at SO
much per caper. Now, having
ceased to be drawing card there
and having completely etfaced
and marred the image of God in
themselves. they propose to lead
or drive us along the saw-dust
trail straight to the e|ysian fields
of the New Jerusalem.
Oh, Molly Hoses! Don t this re-
mind you of a pair Of skunks
bathing in altar Of roses?
Now don't understand your
Grand-Pap to say that souls
should not be saved. Every par
doned sinner can elect himself an
evangelist and point out to other
wrecks on the ocean Of life the
only safe harbor, and should dc
so; but for no able failure in
all the other avocations he has
tried to pop suddenly into the pull
pit smacks of filthy lucre, spon.
dulix juice, and the desire for
unearned increment. Maybe
IN misjudging Bob, but if | an
| propose to ask him to go or
one Of his preaching debauches
and accept no contribution for his
efforts. Lets count the money
end as cut off and see if his en-
thusiasm wanes.
| It's a sad thing to see people
giving the soured and polluted
dregs Of a mis-spent life to Goo
Almighty, after gaustering al
over the devils territory oozing
energy and sin at every pore a.
long as youth, health and success
were theirs.
| Seems to me I can sorter hear {
voice saying to such painted
squaws and picked bucks: ode
part, We cursed! I never knew
you'll"
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1917-04-01

like it Or not, I am going to have
it that way.
/ wish | knew which bird is my
good angel. l would go right this
minute and take it whole hand
full Of nice fresh crumbs,
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1917-04-01
THE DOPE COLUMN.
w. l.. England, in Lenoir News

w. l.. England, in Lenoir News
Oscar Shell is now offering
chewing tobacco with each shave
Ed Hoover's settin' hen died. on
him the other day-he borrowed
one from Laurie Hall to fill out
the unexpired term.
Measles "are' but molasses
"is''. Surely the way Of the COR
rect speaker is hard.
Last summer while taking q
bath Peter Angley mistook the
whet-rock for the soap. Most all
the skin has growed back.
! Glen Munday left on the train
Saturday for Waxhaw. He was
a day behind in leaving on ac-
! count Of not being able to make
up his mind which way lie d walk.
He had car fare one way.
Roy Martin, dope dispenser and
general nuisance at Ballew s, said
a man asked him the other day to
fix him up some medicine quick.
as he was about to die with "in~
SIDE information.'
Hill Powell was three minutes
late on the job yesterday morn
ing. He says plantin his tater
patch caused the delay; also he
said he might a bin later on the
job if the eyes on the seed po-
tato he swapped a COW for hadn q
give out.
| The News Editor secured q
cash subscriber the other day and
with the proceeds purchased hinr
self one. Of these new-fangled
shine-in-the-dark kind Of watches.
He says it. regular nuisance as
every time he takes it out in day
light he feels like he's cheating
himself and when he has occasion
to know the time at night, he in
voluntarily reaches up and turns
off the light.
Hill Powell stole his wife's
octagon soap wrappers which
she's been savin' to get a pianer
with and ordered off for a fine
razor. Hill is lettin' the stubble
grow SO he can give it good try
out when it comes. He is also
complaining of the long delay In
transit, and is threatening to go
!, over to Valmead and get shave
from Ralph Tuttle.
A Kind Husband.
, A few members of the local
| organization of Sons of Rest were
| keeping the dust from the up-
| holstery Of a new Overland Sun
, day afternoon. One said the pro-
, per thing to do was to get mar
5 ried, and that he would do so only
he was afraid he couldn t be kind
a to his wife. why he said.
l "last night ON my way home
: saw man actually holding q
' lantern SO his wife could chop
wood"
The fool-killer. (Moravian Falls, N.C.) 1910-1917, 1917-04-01
BIRDS AND ANGELS.

Bang-ouch! an idea hit me!
Did ever such an accident happen
to you9 | just got.to wondering
what an angel is, anyhow. I have
heard the preacher-man say that
the angels are all about us and
that they have wings and tail
feathers and so forth. | have
never seen anything in real life
that looked much like the pictures
of angels that they print Ill the
Sunday-school papers, and | have
at last come to the conclusion that
maybe nobody else ever saw one,
either. Hence the pictures must
be more guess work than any
thing else. And maybe the guess
has missed farther than it shot.
Wouldn t it m ghty-nigh jar the
buckle berry seed out Of your hol-
lar tooth ii it should turn out that
the little common everyday bl DIS
Of the forest are the angels! |
don t know of any argument to be
used against that idea and there
are several good ones IN favor OF
it. For one thing. the birds are
certainly the most innocent little
critters we have any knowledge Of
and their songs approach nearest
to what we would call heavenly
music Of any melody that has
played tag with my ear-drums
since ] can remember.
And the wings there your are
again! The birds have got EN-.
And their easy, graceful fight
gives them all the dignity of
heavenly beings sent down here to
watch over us poor weak, blund-
ering mo1'tals.
And the birds seem always
happy, just as we might imagine
an angel would be 1t s clear
case they have got more sense
than we have. They don t take
upon their shoulders a great bur-
den of business, only to go broke
and get the blues and cuss out the
whole works like we do. When
ever the world around them looks
blue and dismal and trey can t
muster up courage to hop out on
limb and sing hallyluyer, they
at least have sense enough to stay
in their houses and keep their
mouths shut. A bird s policy is tc
sing glad songs or say nothing
They never growl. If they can I
make the world brighter they re
fuse to add to it's gloom.
might go on and think uE
dozens of angelic attributes thai
the birds have, and you will have
to scratch your head mighty hare
to think of a single human trail
4 that belongs to them.
| If an angel is a spirit being,
don t see why it couldn t inhabi
La birds body just as we'll as not
| Anyhow. whether the rest Of yo1
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22
t-gpoterfuls int Gismeer.

Mus Berlin miro geihrieben: Grit
iest lit es mogli6, Der Seffentlihfeit
aenntnis gu geben BON Der @lan5-
leiitung eines unlerer utWoote, Die
ieIbit in Der an berporragenoen 2a-
ten 70 iiberreiden @eidifte unierer
unterieebootsfriegfibrung cine be-
lonberc Stenung einnimmt.
Gin oeutibes us8oot, oas i'm
nGrolifen gismeer opcriert bate,
bradte elm bon b~elabei1es ruff
ides Munitionstransportidiff, ben
Der ruifilden freipinieen Slotte an.
seborieen 9ampfer Sud)an (3781
Gonnen) in einen unierer Horoiee-
bdfen elm. Diele 8egebenbeit uno
Die oamit pe~rfndipften 8esleitum-
lt1noe befannt 81 geben, perboten
bisber militdriihe 8riinoe; nadoenl
oieie nunmebr weggefa1en iino, itebt
elmer e~ingebenoen Shi!oerung nidts
mebr I'M @ege.
0as lt-9oot ii6tete int nor6lideil
@ismeer i'm S6neetreiben einea
Oampfer, Der, nod : feiuen bobcr
F. T Maiten 5u i6lieBen Elm Silfs-
f~reuSer fem muBte. Ndber berange-
fominen Ite1te oas ltnterleeboot felt,
oaB DER Dompfer feline 4rmierung
al 8oro bate. gs taldte oaber aui
uuo belt i'm nit einem 8%ancneu.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22

einen oeutiden Safen ein5ubringe11,
miro ser 2eIer lelbit ermeIien fon-
ltett.
Ser abiolrte @ert Ser Wani=
tionslabu1g bes Sudan belanft it'd
ouf ungefabr 5 Millionen Dollars;
Ser re(atipe @ert fir &ublano uno
oamit audi ser gerluit lit ieood Elm
melt boberer. Or. Dillon, Scr be-
fannie engliide Bllbli5iit n1lo iebr
quite &enner Der ruiIiiden 8crbalt=
niiie, erflarte fiir3lid, ooB in gon5
&uBlano bisber MIR et1pa 10000 Sc
I6oiie am Gage ~bergeitel(t meroen
fonnen; mitbin tpiiroe Die an 8oro
bes Sudan befinolide @el6oBmuni-
ton oaein ser MISREPRESENTATION
Der geiammten ruiiiiden &riegsinolt-
ltrie glei6fommen. Nad Mnli6t oes
Wilitarfritifers bes ongeie6eren
englifden glottes Stem States=
man" lit Ser ihne1e 3uiammcl1brlld
Mumaniens i11folge Wnnitionsmat1=
gels erfolgt, nno 5par ba6e Die g.
plol ion in 4rd)angelsf oas Shifiul
GumGl1iens enti6ieben. Walt
broud)t bas 1enben5iole oieler Iuf-
foiiu1a, oie grfolee ser oeutlden
fvortiebune nuf @eite =
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22
Die DeMftge Gage.

Ser ltnterieebootfrieg INTRO in
ldarfter @eiie ~fortgelest. 3ablre:=
DIE Sdiffe iperoen p%erienft. Der Ser
febr auf Ser Norolee bat nabe5n anf=
gebort. Sn 9eutidlano tit mali
bod befrieoigt. @ieoer paren auf Ell
mem p~erlenften S1iffe mebrere ame=
rifaner, bod tpurben iie gerettet. Sn
unierm gerbdltnis 81 Deutidlano
uno Seiterrei6 fat ii6 nod ni6ts
aednoert. 9eutihlano ioa Die 8efan=
genen bonn ugarromoale" freigelallea
baben.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22

Mn Munition u1lo ariegsgerat
bate ser brett BON amerifa gefom-
meme 9ampfer gelaoen:
ettpa 225,O00 @ei6oiie BON 81
rs uno 30,5 3entinteter Ga,
fiber,
10000 8ilogramm Eulber,
10000 ailogramm Trinitro,
toluol,
iiber 100000 Climber nno 3iino'
fdrauben,
Z 2aitautos,
mnGberno 10000 8leibarren,
ettpa 5000 Observation-Disclosures,
200 ganen Soblenleoer,
500 Stolen Stad)el6rabt.
@n Ded bate oas 5diff auBer.
Dem cine eroBerc Ir5abl (147 Stiid9
StobIflaiden NIT Sliiifisfeit aitr Or.
aeusung siftiser @aie selaoen. Die
SprengItofflaouns mar in 4ilten NIT
Ser aufIdrift Sigh erploiipe" per>
Itnit.
Gs lit ieoenfaGs bcnlerfensiuert,
baB amerifaniide 5irmen AUDI aif-
tiae 8aie in bic 2iite ibrer 2tefe-
runsen fir 9eutidlanos Seinoe anf-
genommen baben uno oieie Cite
fabrifmGBig i'm @roBbetriebe beritel'
len.
@eI6e be~rborrogenoe ieemdnnii6e
unb militGriide 2eiitun9 es lit, Ell
nen nit Bod)eraoig erploiipen Stof-
fen iiberlaoenen 9ampfer init elmer
i'm bodIten @raoe un5uperldiiigen,
oufidiiigen, an 3abl mebrfad iiber-
legenen 9eiatune melt iiber 1000
Seemeilen bintpes iber Elm BON
feinoliden &riessldiffen uno 8aft-
! fo~br3eugen tuimmelnoes @ebiet in
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22
o. 8. & .. H. taauptIinie.)

W. q. G 9. y. ton1ptltnie.)
30. 1O1-Siinyet 2tmfteb. BON Rem Or.
lnnS .......:.:......4:4O BORN.
SO. 102 Suniet 2imiteb. bon Gm Srans
CISCO S:03 BORN
30. 7-@dueusus. bon Stem Orleans.
Lev uuIu'.
80. 8-Sdnenaua. bon Sci gio ......
SO. e-euniet grpreb. bon Sem Ors
no. 1owenniet Grpreb. ron sm srens
CISCO S:5U rddfm.
abfatr,-
30. 1O1--9nn1ei Htmtteb. nod Gun
Srantisco 1850 borh.
10. 102-Suniet 2imiteb. mad Stem Or
leans ......... 400 bornt
no. 7-@hnensug. mad Sci Rio 49,.
10. s3,56neisne mad aep Orleans.
................ 1915 natm.
10. 9-@uniet grpreb mad gm Srans
cisco $3.50 nndtr1.
80. 10-Sunfet @rpreb, nod 0etp Or
Special 9airs erpreb mad gaale gak
$3.50. ........ IL Mitterla6t.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1917-02-22
SYmr,a gtpM m.

MnfunYY -
10. 3o1-wom Soufton. Bort 2apaea.
Dietoria. guero $50 7:05 nddm.
Abfnhrt-
Nn. 802-Na6 gnero. gietoria. Hori
3dbaea. 9ouiton :. ..8:15 BORN.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22
CITY IN BRIEF

Nearly every town in the state is
making a bluff at wanting the new in
sane asylum.
A farmers organization has pur-
chased the c. C. Banks general store
at Lansford.
The city council of Langdon has de-
cided to open a rest room for the la
dies of the city and country.
A carload Of $500 rabbits We're re-
Gently shipped from Hettinger. They
brought return of about 5000.
!. L. Doherty, editor of the Dunn
County Settler, had piece of steel
removed from his eye last week which
was a momento Of recent fire.
Ole Windingland of Edinburg re-
Gently had the misfortune to have his
left hand crushed between the pulleys
of feed grinder and had to have the
hand amputated above the wrist.
A Golden Valley merchant shows he
has the nerve to take the bull by the
horns. He offers a $3.50 prize to the
person bringing in the largest number
of mail order catalogs.
E. j. Goebel, licensed embalmer and
manager of the Weinrebe undertaking
parlors, left for Grand Forks Monday,
where he is attending the annual con-
vention Of the state undertakers.
Steps have been taken to purchase
a large gate as an entrance to the
square which has been fenced off and
containing the grave Of Sitting Bull
at Fort Yates.
The barn on the Emanuel Arnold
farm, north of Anamoose, was wreck
ed by the blizzard week ago. Thirty
head of cattle were in the barn at the
time. One animal was killed by fall
ing timbers.
Hugh E. Taylor, who returned last
week from the Mexican border with
Co. D has accepted his old position as
manager Of the shade and linoleum
departments at the Weinrebe furni-
ture store.
Just as George Grayton, farmer
residing south of Kildeer, left the
basement of his home after attending
to the fire, the furnace blew up, tear
ing hole in the side of the house
foundation. The safety valve had been
left off when the furnace was installed.
Mr.. Grayton escaped without injury.
A. R. Thompson, a former resident
of Minot, who has been living in AL
berta for years, is now located at
Orion, Alta, new town four months
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

The men of the Zion Lutheran
church gave their fifth annual lutefisk
supper at the church basement Tues
day evening, several hundred attend
ing. Nearly 600 tickets had been SOLD
before the hour for the supper and
scores bought tickets at the door. Mar
tin jacobson himself disposed of 200
tickets. The supper consisted Of Lutte
fisk prepared by experts and the vari-
Gus delicious Norwegian pastries. The
supper was served by the men, who
appeared to advantage in their snow.
white coats
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

old, where he is conducting large
general store. The town has four
general stores and other business en-
terprises in comparison. Mr.. Thomp-
son says big crops were raised last
year and the prices are high and he is
doing fine.
The Independent regrets to learn
that George FAIRIES, publisher of the
Williston Herald, is quite seriously ill.
Williston surgeons advised him to sub
nit to an operation, but he has gone
to Battle Creek, Mich, to enter the
Sanitarium and hopes to escape the
knife.
P. L. Michalitz, the we'll known
South Prairie farmer, II miles south
of the city, will hold an auction sale
of horses, cattle and farming imple-
ments on March 9Th. He has an es-
pecially fine lot of draft horses and
attendance from this section.
Cliff Waldron, the 16-year-old Nc
Leod youth who was unprecedented by
authorities week ago for burglariz-
ing the Mcleod postoffice and lumber
yard, has been sentenced to five-year
term in the state reformatory and two
years in the federal penitentiary at
Leavenworth, Kansas.
Jay H. Brewer, a prominent type
writer man, was Minot visitor Sat
urday. Mr.. Brewer represents the
Royal Typewriter Co. and spends the
winter months at this work, but dur
ing the summer months he lives on his
fine farm near Plaza. He has a $500
barn, a good house and other improve
ments on the farm. Mr.. Brewer has
been reader of the Independent for
years and his better half refers to it
as "the child Of his heart"
Watch the papers for. the "Dirty
Six"
Professor Stauffer, one Of the fac
ulty of the Surrey schools, was in the
city Wednesday night, attending a
Masonic Chapter meeting.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22
\ N0Y WRITTEN IN A COUNTRY
C0ALRTN

00N WRITTEN IN A COUNTRY
COALBIN.
- furnace tolls the knell of falling
n oteam,
1Ae coal supply is virtually done,
And 1t this price, indeed, it does not
Az though we could afford another
ton.
New fades the glossy, cherished an
3 thracite;
The radiators lose their tempera-
ture;
Hew i'll avail, on such frosty night,
The "short and simple flannels of
ne poor"
Aous4 in the icebox, fresh and newly
hid,
The rude forefathers of the omelet
deep,
No eggs for breakfast till the bill is
paid;
" sannot cook again till coal is
6heap.
Can Morris chair or PAPER mache bust
Revivify the falling pressure
gauge?
Chop up the grand piano if you must,
And burn the East Aurora parrot
cage!
Full many a can of purest kerosene
The dark unfathomed tanks Of STAN
dard Oil
Shall furnish me, and with their aid !
70 bring my morning coffee to a
boil.
The village collier (finty-hearted
beast)
Who tried to hold me up in such a
pinch
My soon be numbered with the dear
deceased;
I give him to the mercv of Judge
Lynch.
sSThn Dirty Six" have a number of
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

. . q 80 o o o o @ o 8 8 o 8 8
. FARMERS SEED EXCHANGE 9
. II you are in need of seed Of .
= any kind let US know your re- 9
. quirements. We aim to furnish 8
. the best obtainable of all seeds s
. used in North Dakota at the low s
. est market price. s
. D . - 9 o o o o o o o o O 8 6
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

Something is being started by the
"Dirty Six"
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

ton. The socks, collar and cuffs are
good contrast, the latter being pique.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

Tho Dirty SIX have a number of
cards up their sleeves.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

The Haynes Light Twelve" for
1917 is a masterpiece of multi-cylin-
der perfection. Vast power, record
speed, marvellous flexibility and light
ming pickup blend with upkeep econ
omy in characteristic Haynes fashion.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

But take $4,000 cars. Let $4,000
average everyday motorists run them
for 1OO,OOO,OO0 miles. Let them
drive over all kinds of roads - in
weather fair and foul-for periods up
to nearly three years.
There you have test. There you
have a true examination for endur-
ance. The results of satch use mean
everything. .... '..,.,a
And such is the 100,OOO,OOO mile
endurance run" which assures the
long life and permanently loaU after
costs of each Haynes.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

Demands always exceeds the sup
ply of Haynes cars. We advise early
action again this year.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-02-22

A 10O,OO0,O0O mile endurance
rum" by some $4,000 Haynes Light
Six" owners during the past 2A
years, is made the basis for all state
ments herein contained. For the 1917
Haynes is akin in power-plant,
weight, and principal mechanical
structure to Haynes Light Skies" of
the past 80 months.
Fifteen thousand owners have
found these cars close to mechanical
perfection. A few minor structural
betterments have been the limit of
change. This despite our quarter
century of motor car building exper-
fence.
Thus-in 1917 cars, which we be-
lieve, for refinement and smodernness
Of equipment excel all other new
models-are you able to know accu-
rately in advance:
That upkeep will be Extremely louU
for years to come. That good per-
Torrance is permanent. That long
life is certainty. That depreciation
will be slight.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1917-08-03
ARE YOU ONE OF THEM?

There are great many people
who would be very much benefited
by taking Chamberlain's Tablets for
a weak and disordered stomach. Are
you one of them? Mrs. M. R. Scarf,
Baldwinsvi1le, N. Y, relates her ex-
perfeuce in the use Of these tablets:
81 had a bad spell with my stomach
about six months ago, ana %as
troubled for two or three weeks with
gas and severe pains in the pit Of
my stomach. Our druggist advised
me to take Chamberlian's Tablets.
I took 2 bottle home and the first
dose relieved me wonderfully, and |
kept on taking them until was
cured" These tablets do not relieve
pain, but after the pain has been re-
lieved may prevent its recurrence.
+. (adv-july)
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1917-08-03
WESLEY BIBLE CLASS Fedora
TON.

The Wesley Bible Glasses of the
Sunday Schools in the Louisville and
Kentucky Conferences of the South
ern Methodist Church are planning to
meet at Kavanaugh Camp Ground,
August 8, 9.
The place of meeting is a historic
spot and is ideal for such an assem-
bly,. Last year, at the first meeting
of the Federation, some twelve hun
dred enthusiastic Bible Class Workers
came together. The program for the
approaching meeting is one of un-
usual strength.
Among those who are to speak are
Rev. Chas. D. Bulla, D. D., Superin-
tendent Wesley Bible Glass Depart
ment; Rev. Frank M. Thomas, D. D.,
Of Louisville, KY; Rev. E. B. Chap
pell, D. D., Sunday School Editor
Methodist Church, South; Rev. S. A.
Steel, D. D., of Shreveport, La; Hon.
L. B. Finn, Franklin, KY, and 9TH
ers. The program also includes con-
ferences for the discussion of prac-
tical Bible Glass problems.
The opening session will begin at
two two o'clock, Wednesday after
noon, August 9Th, and the meeting
will close with the evening session,
Thursday, the 9th.
All Wesley Bible Glasses in the two
Conferences are expected to send rep
resentatives. In addition to these,
Presiding Elders, Pastors, and all
Sunday School workers are members
of the Federation. No registration
fees will be charged and the cost of
entertainment is very low.
Arrangements for this meeting are
being looked after by Mr.. G. ]. Nu-
gent, Louisville, KY, Filed SECRETARY,
Middle, Division; Mr.. j. H. Dickey
President, Louisville, Ky; Rev. G..
H. Greer, Danville, KY, and Prof.
C. E. Dudley, Darlington, Ky.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1917-08-03
IF YOU WERE A BOY.

philadelphia Evening Ledger)
If you were a boy this morning,
wonder what you would do.
Was ever a day more perfect,
Was ever the sky more blue? -
I'm speaking to you, grave senior,
I noticed you as you went
Hot-footing it into the city,
To add to your cent per cent.
I noticed your sober manner,
Your very important LOOKS;
And noticed your boy beside you,
The schoolboy with his books.
I saw-and you saw-where the river
Sweeps down to the "swimmin'
AZ hoie," sec a,esss esas
Another boy playing hockey
A boy with a fishing pole.
If you were a boy this morning,
/ wonder what you would do.
/ saw you STOPPING to whisper
A word to the boy with you.
It seemed to me then you told him
That the truant boy was a fool, =
That nothing ripens manhood
Like the moments spent in school.
With fresh blue sky above you
And the green fields under it,
How dare you utter such nonsense.
o, liar and hypocrite?
If you were a boy this morning,
A boy with heart and a soul,
You'd be, in spite Of a licking,
The boy with the fishing pole. =
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1917-08-03
INVENTION TO cDESTR0Y. THE
HATED SUBMARINE.

A Washington special to the New
York World says:
fhe Ivy departments two-fold
progr an In this war, based partly
Jon the prospect of perfecting de-
vice to detect submarines at ten
miles, was outlined to the World.
eff the device is perfected-and
the best brains in this country are
secretly working on it day and night
"a Gordon of destroyers will bottle
the U-boats at their base. It if is not
a combined naval and aerial attack
must be made upon the German coast
and the occupied coast of Belgium.
The submarine, it is agreed, must be
| eliminated before the war is won.