Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-13
The Daily
Short Story
CONVENIENT HEARING.
By Oscar Cox.

/ Attn tlt tptlSfuSlOiA vi lut{HdT ne
tween the states there were number
! of old Negroes who had lived all their
lives on the plantation on which they
were horn, under kind master, who
preferred TO remain under the same
conditions as before. Many of them
were devotedly attached to the family
that had held them in bondage.
Colonel Archibald, the owner OF
plantation in Tennessee, came out Of
the confederate army minus an arm.
He called his former slaves before
him, most of whom had remained on
the plantation, and told them they
were free. Those who wished to leave
him were at liberty to do so. and
those who wished to remain would be
paid what the crops afforded. Nearly
all elected to remain.
The property adjoining the Archi-
bald plantation was bought by An
thony Grub, northern man. who had
gone south shortly before the out
break of the war and Joined the CON
federate army Of contractors, making
a pile of money which In some way
he managed to convert into United
States bonds at a very low figure. 1t
was to make himself solid with the
southern people that he espoused the
southern cause. He befriended Colonel
Archibald, lending him money with
which to begin anew to work his plan
tation for different purpose.
When Grub got Colonel Archibald
sufficiently indebted to him he began
to squeeze him with view 10 acouir-
ing his plantation through foreclosure
OF. mortgage. One morning he visited
his debtor. with demand for a paw
ment which the colonel was unable to
meet High words passed between
them and Grub was elected from the
house. Grub sued the colonel for as
sault
The only person who was nearby the
disputants at the time OF the fracas
was an old Negro named George Wash
ington, When the trial came of ths
Plaintiffs attorney called on George
for testimony.
George Washington said the law
yer, "if you are proud Of the honored
name you bear you will tell the truth.
Il the whole truth and nothing but the
u QAu 1pO fOn h1DH tut udtUIE Oh An
: oath?'
d Vas. sab An oath is what George
q Washingtons ladder said when young
: Geo'ge chopped down de cherry tree"
t The attorney was stalled. Those
y present smiled. The lawyer concluded
e not to try to beat into the Negroes
skull what an oath was, but to pro-
coed with the examination.
D.. Where were you, he asked. when
i this trouble between Colonel Archi-
Il bald and Mr.. Grub took placer
:, II war on de po'ch.'
Did you see this gentleman" point
g ing TO Grub, enter the coloneFs
t Officer"
}. NO sab. I didn see 10 gentleman
ct go into Colonel Archibalds office. /
/ scr dat man setten dar what sold rot
s ten aigs TO de army go into Colonel
Is Archibald's Office"
lie Checked again. the lawyer cast about
re for some other method of attacking
Id the witness.
n. George" he said presently. did
70 you hear hard words between Colonel
It Archibald and Mr.. Grub"
Dunno, sab. Tze mighty hard O
h. hearin'''
~ Tell the jury what you did hear
- spoken by Colonel Archibald"
I didn't hear notten Colonel Archi-
Il bald said. Mars Colonel war speakin'
y, berry soft Ma hearen want good
in enough 70 dat"
ne What did you hear Mr. Grub sayg'
to Il hearn dat man dar what sold de
Y army boots with paper soies say Gun
Of mel Archibald, { yo' dom pay me de
money yo' owe me you'll hab to turn
e, ober TO me de plantation and cherry
of thing on it; and Mars Archibald, he
n said softly, berry softly, Mr.. Grub. I'll
Oh pay you when I get de money TO de
of crop"
&c. Didn't you say your hearing was
he not good enough to enable you TO hear
"a what Colonel Archibald said when he
spoke softiy?'
Dat was when ma right ear was
I'm turned dat way Ma right ear mighty
ST. pom at hearen. When | heard Mars
ia Archibald say dat l turned ma LEI ear
: dat way"
u HIM. I expect you have ears fol
We what you want to hear. Tell the jur!
at what you saw of this trouble"
Ter Well sab, I sor dis pusson wha
lal sold wooden hams TO de army conner
oy out de doc mighty quick"
en- He was pushed by Colonel Archi
re bald, was he not?'
Id NO, sab. De arm wha' Colone
on Archibald would hab TO push him wi,
ire was ief' on de battlefield"
ON did you see anything to indicat
at that the plaintiff was forced out OF tn
I'VE house"
he Yes. ssh.''
ter What did you see?"
ent Il sor a boot de toe bein' bout te'
ign inches below de back coat buttons 0
in dis man what sold pounded stone #
medicine to de amy
"Ah-ha," I thought we should &c
an the truth at last ITO whom did thi
led boot helong?"
der Dunno, sah.n
ep- why don't you know"
on Cos de gentleman what owned d
ige boot was inside de house and dis fei
urt lab what sold"
ion "That1l do. Judge, I think I hav
ted proved by inference"
the There is no such thing as infer
IN ence in law" interrupted the judg'
red Case dismissed