El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1917-02-23
IDEALS AND
PARENTHOOD
DIV BEATRICE FAIRFAM.

= WONDER how many boys and
girls today have the blessed feel
- ing that their very best friends are
father and mother,
Not every parent can give his chill
dren 4 heritage OF wealth ana social
standing. Children have not the right
to expect that-but the thing 20 which
they have an absolute right is the
feeling OF friendly understanding.
Parents have to earn respect and de-
serve confidence. In this practical
Show me" age they do not get It
otherwise
Life sweeps on very rapidly nova
days. The son OF the uneducated imui-
grant IS the college professor of to-
morrow. and the daughter OF the Hit
crate scrubwoman Is the great prima
donna of the future. Life would not be
worth much II each generation were
not producing individuals OF higher
type than those OF the last generation
The child is inferior to his parents
in Just one thinS-experience-
Parents have TO give children the
benefit Of their experience without
forcing it upon them. The younger
generation is cropping toward knOwl-
edge. You might tell a baby 100 times
that fire burns. but for real vivid
knowledge on the subject nothing i'm
presses that baby so wildly as poor
little blistered finger which follows
tour of discovery right into the flame
OF a match. The older generation can
save the younger generation a great
deal Of actual experience Of how fire
burns If Il guides very cleverly-very
tactfullyi
Each one Of US is embarked in a 1T
tie boat OF our own personality which
has to go down the stream OF life The
most loving parent in all the world
cannot get into his child's skiff and
show him how to guide II Inc par
ents who tie heavy ropes to the boats
of their children's personality and try
10 draw them upstream are cruel. and
they have no right to be surprised
when the children lean out wilfully and
cut the ropes.
The parents who reach out with their
oars and try to push the children's
banks into tiny Ravens seldom succeed
The little boats drift into ports they
never wanted to make and. resting dis
contentedlv for time. drift tut again
The successful parent IS the one who
shows his children how TO steer them
selves.
Suppose father finds that HIS
daughter IS interested in q boy whom
his mature Judgment decides 20 he ut
terly unworthy If he saws 70 the girl;
Il forbid you TO see that boy again." he
arouses natural antagonism- Instinct
lively the girl resents her fathers criti-
cisrn OF her choice OF friends and feels
that Il IS q criticism Of herself. In
stinctively. too. her LOYALTY flames I'D
in defence OF the friend whom she feels
is not being given a fair chance.
Suppose. on the other hand. the faith
er sits down quietly with mis- daughter
and says; Helen. I don't quite under
stand your liking for Joe Brady. Per
hans I am doing the boy an injustice
VIII you tell me what you see in HIM"
this equal to equal attitude on the part
OF her father and her sense Of fairness
makes her give him = hearing when he
tells her what he does not like in Joe
Brady. She has no right 70 resent this
attitude. which really has been = com
pliment 10 her, and she naturally tests
Joe along the line OF her fathers OBJ
jections 10 him
Perhsns she does hope 10 find errors
in her fathers judgment. but she feels /
instinctively that he is fair and square
and that she. too. must be fair and ,
square and confess II Joe proves IN /
worthy.
There IS nothing unGignified IN talk |
children. They are individuals with |
tastes and desires They have a right /
to a hearing. and far from FORGETTING
their respect II YOU give them fair play. |
you win their absolute confidence and /
esteem.
The parent who forbIds without ex- ]
planning the reasons for his attitude I
arouses ugly emotions. ranging from !
stubborn antaEonism 10 a sneaking de-
termination to do 4 anyhow. All forms I
Of tyranny in government have gone I