The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-22

. Ana IN the dltcn,
We have no notion now who's whosky
Or witch is witch.
| The old proverb that "grass never
| grows on busy street." probably is
the reason why men are bald headed
and women have no whiskers on their
chin.
~"Are you the editor" asked the
merry farmer as he showed open the
office door at all depends" replied
the old man, con whether you want
to make a kick or pay your subscrip-
ton"
| held four diamonds, pat, before the
draw,
| raised the boys the worst you
ever saw.
| drew a club, but made them all lay
down,
A man must have some slick in his
| craw.
| One man has received an envelope
from a United States military camp
| in France, directed in the handwriting
of his son, but containing only a note
from the censor, which read: "Your
son is well, but his letter is too newsy.
The Censor"
"Have you anything that you can
recommend to cure a cold?" rasped
the would-be customer "No, sirl"
wheezingly replied the honest drug
gist. Last night | had in stock near
ly forty infallible remedies, but this
morning, as you observe, | have a
cold myself"
Corn meal is such an easy substi-
tuition for wheat flour that we wonder
at the popular objection to it. Just
consider the work and fuel saved on
one morning meal of corn cakes. The
average growing boy will worry
along with II to IA corn cakes, where
as it's hard to drive him away from
the table with less than Sc wheat
cakes.
"How are you getting along with
your sorghum making?" asked a |
neighbor of Old Bill Misgivens. "Just
tollable," replied Old Bill. eve broke
the sorghum mill luther day and since
then we've been sorter smashing the
cane with a hammer and running it |
through the clothes wringer. 1t |
works middlin' we'll except when one
of the children gets hung up in it or
they try to run a cat through it or
something hathaway"
Why do newspapers, in speaking of |
a new baby at the home of Mr.. and
Mrs. So-and-so, invariably refer to
it as fine 10-pound boy or pretty
8-pound girl? Because the editor OBJ
jects to going loaded down with armor
plate? Frinstance, suppose The In
dex would say: doctor Ketcham
left a scrawny, squalling, ugly, red
faced, bow-legged 5-pound brat at
the home of Ugo Soakem and wife
Tuesday night" By the time Doc
Ketcham and Papa Soakem got thro
with the job The Index would need
a new editor.
The war and high prices of eggs
have brought forth some remarkable
inventions, not the least of which are
those contributed by one d. F. Roach
of New York. One of these is trap
nest that gives the patriotic hen
chance to not only "do her bit" by
laying the eggs that supply the SOL
diers with their breakfasts, but also
gives her substitute for Natures ,
failure to endow her with growing |
powers. A little American flag is
built on the top of the nest in such
a way that when the hen lays an
egg and tries to leave the nest the {
flag raises and fiutters in the breezes !
as a signal to master to come and !
gather the fruit. /
1t seems that when fellows Golfers :
will hardly hold another bone, most |
every man who knows him offers to !
let him have friendly loan. But {
when he really needs assistance to
keep from going down and out, there
is no money in existence whose owner
wants to hear him shout. Fair wealth :
err friends are always near us as long i
as fortune deigns to bless, but they're r
the ones who never hear us when we !
send out the 0 S. Remember when =
you're making money to put little e