The Washington herald., 1917-08-19
The Eternal woman.

Marie Riddle had nothing the mat
ter with her face Friday morning,
but. oh what a difference few hours
make. John Walters has been court
ing Marie for a short while and buy
ing her soda water, taking her to
the movies and sitting In the parlcr
with the lights turned low, and all
that sort of thing. Friday night
Marie went out with another man.
Not being married to John she had
a right to do so. John found 1t out,
and informed Marie that she had dis
graced herself by doing this.
Marie said she didn't know so much
about that and John put his foot in
her face and the nails in his heels
played havoc with her complexion.
John had no business to treat lady
like that, and she gave him all his
presents back. Not only that. she had
him arrested and refused to make up
with him. John has lost his girl, and
SO bill.
A Pillow Case Case.
Rufus Howard and Moses Burns
room in the same house, on Second
street southwest. Somehow or other
the landlady is rather partial to
Rufus He gets a clean sheet on his
bed when Moses. does not, and the
girls around that way all are crazy
over him. He is no better looking
than Moses, but there is something
about him that attracted his land
lady. Moses has been standing these
little sights long enough he thonght,
and a day or so ago, he borrowed a
pillow off of Rufus's bed and went
to sleep. This happened while Rufus
was entertaining the girls down stairs.
When Rufus went upstairs to bed
he called downstairs and wanted a
pillow. He was told that he had one
and he happened to suspect Moses,
and as Moses was peacefully snoozing
he felt Rufus's reinforced concrete
fists in the jaw. He awoke and
yelled, dressed himself, ran out and
called cop to see his jaw. The next
morning he had Rufus arrested. Un-
less Rufus can rake up SO. he will
do without pillows for thirty days. s
We Next Present
It's too bad that Evelyn Walsh was
never trained for the Winter Garden
or the Metropolitan Opera House.
Neither of these two places realize
what they have missed. For a half
hour yesterday morning Evelyn. while
she was locked up after her trial.
treated the court to a series of out
bursts, some of il soprano, alto, con-
tralto, basso and the whole rigama-
role.
Lieut.. Pearson arrested Evelyn on
street southwest for not behaving
ladylike on the street and the court
fined her SIS. This didn't please her
bit and she told Pearson to join
the fireman's union in a warmer eli
mate. Bailiff Hurdle escorted her to
the cage and she let 'er rip. Some
one had a muffler handy and Evelyn
finally yelled herself hoarse and stop
ped.
Horner Was Cornered.
It's hard enough work to drag ones
self around, let alone doing anything
else. Ed. Horner. (no relation to
jack, has been wearing out the side
walks and his shoes for sometime.
He lodged enough jobs to keep an
army busy. Now and then a friend
would tell him where a job was and
Ed would go the opposite direction.
1t has always been a mystery how
a man with no money and no job
can get hold of liquor refreshments,
but they do.
Ed became acquainted with every
cop in Northeast and here is where
he got in bad. 1t is all right to know
some cops. but the kind they have
out there. II don't do at all to know
them. He will be introduced to Mr..
Whitaker and pay him a sO-day
visit.
Neither Could His Namesake.
"Jedge. All CANT stand up and
let no man hit me-" said Bob Lee,
who was arrested for fighting on
Seventh street, Friday evening. Bob
had several words with Field Sharp
that evening and neither being pac-
fists they came to blows.
Onlookers stood around looking
for the referee and a cop came up
and said, Boys you mustn't fight
I'VE amt fighting" chorused the
two, I'VE are scrapping." Luckily
no razors were pulled. nor were
there any bricks handy. Traffic on
Seventh street must go ahead,
fight or no fight. and the cop ar
rested the two. Sharp put up col
lateral and forfeited. Bob had no