The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-01-24
BEES AND
MATRIMONY

By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1916. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

/ der1ng why Baker did not smile or
laugh, but he was born that way and
couldn't help it.
| When Mrs. Baker died, after many
| years Of quiet life, she left a'ds lighter,
| Minnie, seventeen years old. -iinnie
was totally unlike her father. She
| saw the humor of things. She was in
clined to be cheerful and gay. She
had always laughed more or less, and
her father had become used to it, as
she had to his solemnness.
| When the mother died the daughter
took up the housekeeping, and two
years had passed when she and Frank
| Williams fell in love. Frank was
pushing, industrious young man, and
he could at least have given her as
! good a home as she had. He was
rather afraid of the solemn faced ia
, ther, but had now and then called at
the house and been we'll received.
Young Williams had opened COM
mission house. The farmers brought
him in stuff to sell, and he shipped it
to the city. When he was receiving
or shipping. his goods covered a good
part of the sidewalk, but no one COM
planned. One day as Mr.. Baker was
strolling about he approached the COM
mission house just as a farmer had
unloaded four big baskets of eggs.
There was room for Mr.. Baker to
! avoid those eggs, and he would have
avoided them but for a big rat. The
rodent ran from under the sidewalk
to lumber pile, and Mr.. Bakers at
tention was thus distracted for the
moment He walked along with his
head turned over his shoulder when
his foot struck one of the baskets, and
he fell forward with a crash. AS was
afterward ascertained, he broke all his
previous records by breaking twenty
one dozen of the eggs. When he man.
aged to extricate himself from the
mess he was covered from head to
heel with the white and yellow yolks
of the eggs.
The farmer was one that could see
the humor Of things, and, though the
loss Of the eggs would be his, he fairly
rOared with laughter at the upset.
No one could remember ever seeing
Lemuel Baker in a temper, but he was
mad now as he rose up amid those
eggs. Hearing the laugher at the door,
young Williams came out Of his Office,
and, instantly recognizing his prospec-
tive fatherin-law, he began to laugh
too
"You scoundrels, you villainsw roar
ed Mr.. Baker as he stood dripping with
the yolks.
1t was when he heard the victims
voice that young Williams came for
ward and expressed his sympathies.
go away, sir; go away" was shout
ed at him. You had those eggs placed
there on purpose to trip me up. Look
at me! My clothes are ruined. Don't
ever enter ny house again or will
give you q lawsuit!'
At the back end Of Mr.. Bakers half
acre lot he had placed three hives of
bees. There had been no trouble with
them, and they had paid in honey for
their keep. Ok day as the owner sat
on his front verahda in his shirt sleeves
looking down the village street and
Minnie was upstairs in her room
grieving over the events which had
caused a separation between the low
ers q wandering COW appeared upon
the scene. She looked over the back
fence of Mr.. Bakers lot, and she saw
cabbages, cornstalks and other good
things to eat. She also took notice
that the fence was old and shaky. She
was tempted and yielded. She crashed
over the fence between two Of the bee
hives and brought them both tumbling
down, and the crash was heard for a
block around. The bees went for her.
Mr.. Baker was the next victim, and
he hurried through the front gate
and went downhill toward the peace
fully flowing river His yells brought
out the rest Of the population, and as
fast as they appeared at their doors
or gates the bees gave them all prop
er attention. 1t was figured later on
that at least 200 people, besides the
COW, received scars to show that they I
had fought CALAMITY and well. Mr..
pain and excitement be recollected
that bees and water are enemies. To
get rid OF the bees he must have the |
aid of the river. He could not swim
a stroke, and the water was deep, but /
when he reached the bridge over the
rail he dived.
The COW had no river to plunge into, |
and she had to keep on, believing at
every jump until she fell exhausted. |
As fate would have 1t, young Williams
was at hand to plunge into the river |
to the rescue Of the man who had dis
appeared beneath the surface, and 1t
was mostly by his efforts that rescue
was made He 1t was who comman-
deered a wagon and got Mr.. Baker
home, and he 1t was who got the doc
tor and helped him to extract almost
numberless stings.
And who was IL that rubbed and |