Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-11-09

would say every one Of them was
bound to end in divorce. But they
don't. Somehow they rub along,
though the attrition gives them the
worn and weary aspect that makes
married people generally look about
ten years older than their bachelor
friends, male and female.
"And even when there is no great
insurmountable obstacle, like diff
ference in brain or moral outlook, be-
tween husband and wife, there are
thousands of little differences that
have to be smoothed out and that
make the first few years of married
life a hard road to travel Now, in
my own case, married one of the
dearest, most Iovable, most generous
men the good God ever made, but the
first ten years of our married life was
full of friction between US and with
lis family, because he and had been
reared in such different home atmos-
pheres and had such different points
of view.
"aIy people we're prim and puri-
tanic, with rigid codes of conduct.
Each individual child of us had its
own room, its own belongings, its own
privacy, and we would no more have
thought of using each Others things
or intruding on each other than We
would have intruded on stranger.
We were taught reticence about our
own affairs, and that to talk about
our plans was to indulge in a sort OF
weak garrulity.
my husband, on the contrary, came
of happy-go-lucky family, demon
stratiyely affectionate to each other,
and where everything was held almost
in common, and nobody had, or wanted
to have, any privacy. Everything that
everybody did was talked over ex.
haustively before and after 1t was
done, and was the subject of unlimited
free advice.
You cannot imagine how all OF
this grated on my every sensibility.
It seemed to me the very quintessence
of the vulgarity of family life. | al
most died of silent fury the first time
my husband asked me whom letter
was from that / was reading, and it
was months before | had sense en-
ough to perceive that what prompted
his question was not jealous desire
to pry into my correspondence, but
just a loving interest that made any
thing that concerned me, even my let.
tiers, of interest to him.
1T shocked me to hear him tell Of
his aspirations. | thought it weak
Dragging, until in course of time
learned that it was just his affection
ate desire to share his hopes with
those dear to him.
"And his family equally misjudged
me. Because couldn't discuss with
them a new dress or hat, before II
bought it, they thought me secretiye.
Because have never been able to tx-
press a millionth part of what felt,
they thought me cold, and because !
couldn't overcome the habit that had
been instilled into me from my baby
hood and accept the things they Of
fered to lend me, they thought ne
proud and exclusive. So | will al
ways be an outsider. to my husband
people. Perhaps that is the reason
that most in-laws get along so badly
together. It's family characteristics
that neither side can help having tnat
makes the family circle perpetual
prize ring.
In domestic life it's the little things
that count Nearly all of US could
forgive our husbands or wives some
one great big sin if only they were
congeniaI and sympathetic and COM
paionable about petty everyday af-
panionable about petty everyday af-
giyable is the everlasting antagonistic
attitude-the husband or wife who
never thinks the way you do, who