davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
What Do You Know?
QUIZ

I. What important religious event will be cele-
brated this year?
2. What Gar was called "The Terrble"?
3. William Carey died June o. 1884. Who
was he?
4. When and where was the first battle Of the
Crimean War?
.. What President was called the "stuned
prophet?
9. What four, great rivers Of Central Europe
rise in the Alps?
!. Where and when did n cliff suddenly slip
into the sea, carrying down u monastery,
cathedral and other structures?
3. What Is amalgam?
o. Who were the Amati?
10. What Is the area of the Amazon River
drainage basin?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09

The trip was delightful, particularly
when we were escorted through the
danger zone.-General Pershlng.
II Germany ever finds out that her
brand of terrorism can be thus invigor'
Ating she may feel inclined TO change her
methods. Showing the enemy a good
time is certainly not part of Teuton
policy.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
We Apologize. Governor!

"Oh, oh, OH" calculates Ralston, you
had better apologize to FORMER Gov
ernor Warfeld for calling him 'ex.' He'll
never forgive you. have heard him say,
AN Ex-Governor is a man who has been
Governor and would like to be again but
the people won't have him, whereas a
former Governor can have anything he
wants."
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
THE VOICE or SAPPHO

Lost Sdppho's voice passed on the tOind
today
In the perishing soprano Of lark
That called doton AprHs fot0er-ap-
pGreled 1Cdp;
And keen quick thrills Of color trayed
the dark,
As though Gods garment traiIed along
the east:
Faint. tender odors dritted from the
sea;
And splendid gold through all the sky
Increased
As her tcild lyrtc cry rang out to me.
Her strain fen qutuerin0 steeet, "For.
bear to IoUe";
Fell 11ith the old heart rittin0 Of
despair,
Fell IN a break of grief past telling OF,
'Forbear to loUe; oh, heart, torbedr,
forbedrp'
only to my 0riet-Shdrpened ear she cried,
HoiO could she knotO my heart last night
had diedi
rnTUTAy
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
ALL MY DAYS
All mV days acre tuH OF NE

All 4nV days qOere tuH Of NE
Ere nU first IoUe came:
Roses qCdLing into bloom,
Sunbedms dancing IN the room,
Stars that ttUinkIed through the gloom,
All 1ny days tCere full OF Hte
Ere my loUer came.
An nly days are empty notD,
Since mV true loves gone:
Flot0ers bloom and fotUers die,
Each ddyS sun sets IN the sky,
Stars are pale and cold and high
All nly days are empty noto,
Since nly lovers gone.
WILL LOU.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
MRS. EDWIN MARKHAM.

Here's that word poignant" when it
,0dS poignant. This is from Charles
Lambs essay upon Newspapers Thirty
five Years Ago" THAT would mean
about 1S00)
In those days every Morning Paper, as
an essential retainer to It's establishment,
kept an author. who was bound to furnish
daily a quantum of witty paragraphs. Six.
pence a joke-and 1t was thought pretty,
high, too-was Dan Stuart's settled re-
muneration in these cases. The chat of
the day, scandal. but, above all. dress, fur
nished the material. The length of no
paragraphs was to exceed seven lines.
Shorter they might be, but they must be
poignant.
fashion of flesh. or, rather, pink-col-
CURED hose for the ladies, luckily coming up
at tho juncture when we were on our proba-
ton for tho place of Chief Jester to rs
Paper, established our reputation In that
line. We were pronounced capital hand. -
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
WILL LOU.

The American Press Humorists will
meet in unconventional convention in
New York during the last week in June,
and II we can't find a suitable war cor
respondent willing TO brave bursting
bombs of laughing gas, wen go over and
report the thing ourself. We will prob.
ably go anyway. It will be a very i'm
portant meeting. President Dixon Mer-
rltt, OF the Nashville Tennessean. viii
offer as his annual message the correct
version Of his much-garbled masterpiece,
which most people recite In this fashion:
A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His till holds more than his belican.
And rum-ti- tum- tum,
Tum- tum- ti-tum- tum
Tum-tum- IT, tum- tum- -ti-the helican
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09
Who'll Buy a Painting7

Dear sir--Knowing the interest you take
in everything that tends 70 do good, or 70
alleviate distress l beg very respectfully 70
ali he he Italian &ssSciStions and privstes are
grfN,sI providing fer a cr yoontsry contribution In
money for that purpose. ] paint a picture
representing a view Of Venice utRly) that
h ErsSd y LpSha sD 0 Snd VHr SvoSns he amount
out your expenses Of advertisements.
Hoping. dear Sir that you will grant me
this favor, am, yours very sincerely,
PHILiP COTUMACCTo,
20l7 North Twenty second street.
BY slipping your letter in here. Philip
we can evade the advertising tax and thus
make our gross receipts virtually net
There is another virtue about the posi-
ton We are giving your adver No one
ever looks in this column for business
opportunities" but many of our readers
though poor, have warm hearts, and we
know by personal experience that they
often overappraise things seen here be-
cause they assume that the writer's in
tention IS good and that his heart is as
warm as theirs. We venture to believe
Philip, that enough readers will be
touched by your letter to make a re-
spectacle fund for the purchase Of your
painting. We already have a dollar in
hand TO start It, and we now ask all our
readers to contribute, if it be only a
couple Of pennies.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09

A Liberty Bond should be better
Investment than n loan to the Govern
ment to pay an indemnity TO Germany.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-09

The best story in this paper is what
sixty Bells DID" This moor. third aisle
no the right
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
THE LIBERTY LOAN.
CDallaS Herald.

Uncle Sans bayonet> are .iis,enins ON
the western front. and hi, dollars are
I~ingiing back ~ home. We can match the
war lord~ war measures man Tor man. gun
for gun. and dollar for dollar. and then
have enough men,. gun and dollars left
over 10 whip another Germany. America i
IN the war to a finish. III England totter~
and fails, ii France should succumb: If
all the other allieS should abandon the task
Of curbing the kaiser the United States
Will thigh on alone until democracy j. made
safe for the people of the world. There
VIII be no premature peace. because the
American people are not Of the type that
compromise on a question uf honor. The
obligarcy must 20: Pru>siani>m must be
crushed. and the kaiser must he put in a
place where he can no longer cause hi-
armies Ia overrun neutral countries. ravage
Women. mann children and rob thousands
upon Thousand of innocent people.
The citizens OF America have entrusted
to Uncle sam 4 new war fund of near five
billion dollar. Those dollars express their
determination to see an unpleasant lob
through. IL i a most decisive answer ic
the challenge thrown down ~ the arch
murderer at the age.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

bthi~t iitfdtu.1
a Dallas county wife killer. tried in Ellis
county on a change of venue. was convict
ed and sentenced to serve fave wears in
the penltentlary. lnasmuch - the defend
ant denied all knowledge of the CRIME and
therefore asserted his innocence some ma \
express amazement at the .iury's verdict.
thinking NJ was either a ease of brutal
murder or murder not at ALL. But jnries
have a way of compromising not only
themselves but the state a. well bv max
ing a mockery of the Jaw. Why. iuries have
been known To return verdict> of negligent
homicide, carrying a punishment Of II fine
where the facts disclosed the deceased was
hanged To a limb and allowed 10 remain
until animation wa entirely suspended be-
fore lowering the victim 10 the ground.
On. no. there was no intention 10 commit
murder: lu>t PLAYING q practical Joke.
And the wife killer who Drained hi> help
mae with a bootiack; he didn't intend Ia
Kill her. Just merely handed her Il love tap.
That's all. And then We proudly boast of
the Jury system being one of the bulwarkS
of our civilization.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
From Camp TraviS.l

After thr dust caused IN \ confused shut
H. ~ bed sacks anu blanket rolls had clcarc,
away ou Wednesday II last week. the non-cum-
missi"nsd officers on Company ~. depot 1871
sadr. discovered that vut vf .uD privat"S onlN
eight were lett tyr n. l. duty. These eight
Sad ~privntrs nov have hr,ufur thoroughly IA
miliar with tn tour II kitchen police duties
Incidentally 1t might lee mentioned that Fri
waite Erutschr. II brownsville. regrets that
n. I.'S. are necessary fur Sunday. However
u J. rumurrd that tho p~giyatcs have c%enspir"'
a. influence Top Sergeant Tandry e. detai
4 fev nun-coms to the kitchen.
Captain |. OIiryan. commander II uur com
pany. returned ~ H. "a saturday. November m
! after inSurinE the safe delivery NJ 800 men
uut IA oar company a. Camp Bowie. Texas.
Thr following promotions IL men from Gam
crnn county have recently been made IN uui
pointed sergeant IN the SECOND taiss"n Com
pAny. :Ilth anmnniti"n train. The promotion
coming ", soon after MIR. Vests enlistment
speaks well for his ability a. pick az his new
duties rs y soldier.
4 black cloud settled IN the ncighhurh""d
~ our barracks \ frw days back. aud suddenly
ten Vt cur NON ICONS. including S"rErants Ger
don ana Bradshaw and Corporal Weller. We're
drawn into the vortex 81 the aforementioned
cloud. We are reliably informed that our men
are making suud a. Instructors uf the soldiers
ol 4 darker complexion. Sergeant bradshaw
was overheard talking IN hiS sl"rr: Hey. yuu
Rastus. how dell d'yo urxprct a. Do right face
By turning to the lcttt"
Sergeant Irish" bradshaw says. You don't
have a. stand rcycillr ~ 4 murHin'. but you'll
draw more money Iay day u You d.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
MONDAY. NOVEMBER II. 1917.
AMERICAS CAUSE AND GERMANY's

AMERICAS CAUSE AND GERMANY'S.
Freedom j. the righiful inheritance of
all mankind. 1t has been wrung from it,
enemies with blood and suffering. The
hosts of men who have died for freedom
sake are marching today with the banner
of free Americans a. they march against
the kaisers' army. The people of Germany
sigh for free government a. all other PEG
pie not having this great blessing have
sighed for it. The IIohenzollernS stand
for the fast diving ideal of one man power
-of monarchiai government. of the long
deried obSes>ion of the divine right Of
kings. The German people may Cling to
their kaiser in this war through national
pride and a natural love of country. But.
outside of the million or 20 who represent
Germany's ariStocracy. her so-called high
horn, her ka~iser-conStituted ruling elas>,
the great heart of the German people i set
upon free government. And. even though
the kaiser may have hoped BY this great
world war to Danish socialism. which has
been the outgrowfh Of kaiseri,m. vet he
doubtless knows in hi heart ere now that.
after seeing li~ wanton sacrifice of mil
lions of the finest Of Germany's Young
manhood merely to crafty hi, lu,tful am
b%ition, socialism viii be- stronger than ever
IN Germany when the war j. ended.
IL i the kaiser. and the czar~ who have
created socialism.
America. based upon freedom. with m
independence wre~ted from unrea.oninc
rulers BY lovers If freedom. offers ~ ex-
cu>e Tor socialism. II knows 40 class Dis
iinctions except those which amy man may
set aside If he will-the distinctions which
reward success.
Thus stand the two cau>e--Germanv
Tor auiocracy. for territorial expansion.
Tor the qualification OF the personal amhi-
non lust Of power. greed of wealth ~ it,
iiohenzoilern~ America for the protection
"f the rights OF free government through
out the entire world ideals and in extreme
opposites N prInciple~-aniipodal IN every
respect. The Americans are fighters for
universal freedom: Germany /. fighting ~
perpetuate and extend her autocratic sv,-
lem OF one man power.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
Cameron Co. Notes
From Camp Travis

company:
IL the grade IL sergeant: rrivates Lester
A.. Smythe NJ Brownsville. Henry Gordon ~
brownsville. James l.. bradshaw ~ Browns
Vile.
To the grade II corporal: Trivatcs \. III.
Fernandez ~ brownsville. w. J.. Williams ~
San Iirnito. Il. II. rrrntiSs ~ Brownsville,
Troflo CrixelI. Dr.. ~ Brownsville. li"y III
Weller III. Brownsville.
Private cleo Mood If Harrington has been
appointed mechanic. and Private HuuldI
MuthrrShcad II San l;rnitu. a. huglrr.
~I'riyatcs John a.. lrrnti.s and Henry "
BELL are awaiting transfer e. ether branches
4 the service.
Private lee :. Erut>chc and \. ". Cham
pion are "a special dut..
The following men ~ Cameron county have
been assigned ~ Company -. 81 Machine Gun
Battalion: Egl,ort II. Cockc. John a. Flana-
gan. Carl g.. klinkcl. John g. I.utz. Frcdcrick
=. I, Der. Everett VI. Weaver.
Egls rt H. Cooke has been appointed ser
s.ant un recommendation IA thu company c"m-
handcr. Captain Clark Wright.
John \. Flanagan has been appointed first
class private 90 recommendation II tnr com
lany commander. captain Clark Wright.
John a.. lntz has been appointed corporal
"a recommendation ~ the company com
mauder. Captain clark Wright.
Frederick \. pher has been appointed Lance
corporal "a recommendation NJ the company
c"mmanirr. Captain Clarke Wright
Paul VI. West VI brownsville. who was enc
II ~ first 80 Cameron county men - leave
for Camp Travis. Texas. has recently been ap-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
PUTS KIBOSH ON GERMAN OPERA.

NEW YORK. Nov. l2.-German song
birds and the works ~ German composers
have been eliminated ny the management
of the Metropolitan Grand Opera Company
from the program prepared for the annual
season which III ID 10 u-hcrcd i'll al the
Metropolitan Opera House tonight. TIL,
opera this year j. 20 be given IN American
flavor To u greater extent than ever be
fore. The appearance 81 Xix new Amer
can women singer and the production ~
five operas and ballet new To New York
one of the operas and the ballet the work
of American compoScrs-will add interest
10 the Season.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
GUILTY SIGNS.

Ethel had announced that ~he would be
home to tea. but IL was nearly q 20 before
she arrived.
..Where have YOU been. dear!" asked
her mother.
walking" came the ter-e reply.
Ethel = mother shifted
.And with whom, may ] ask
mo one
NO one. my dear Are YOU quite >ure'
NO one REPEATED Ethel A. she slowly
pulled M endless hatpin from her nat
I'm that ease continued her mother,
will YOU please explain how IT l. that You
have returned with a walking stick instead
Of an umbrella ~
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
A
Saturday Evening Post.l

mummy hf'hHh- fHl.i
For war purposes the government limit
business gains in two wayS-fir,t, bv fix
ing prices 1T which commodities shall be
sold and services rendered second, bv tax
ing the profits. Put thi- proposition IL
any business man. Which would Won con
slider the more important, fixing your
prices or taking your profits
He would certainly answer. "Fixing my
prices. for unless the prices are tolcrablc
| shall have no profits 10 tax. y wrong
price would put me out Of business en-
tirely: whereas. If my business Yields u
profit It can live, even though the govern
ment takes q large percentage"
The les important function was per-
formed by congress. IN took five months
Of pretty continuous cxertion. with tire
mendou- friction all along the line. Only
with the greatest difficulty could the two
houses be- brought "a agree among them
selves or wit each other. At the very last.
after five months effort. II was reported
selves or with each other. At the very last.
deadlocked and the house might have to
take up the whole job again. The net re-
suit Of this grea. expenditure Of time
and energy i u compromise. which in de
tail plea-cS hardly anybody. and which
leaves 4 good deal Of i'll feeling.
The more important function Of fixing
prices was handed over to the executive.
\ comparatively few men. who knew what
they were about. gathered AZ i table in Il
thoroughly bu~ine~,like frame Of mind. cx-
aminod the evidence. heard significant
witnesses, thre,hcd the matter out. and
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
SpENnERS-

Americans spend in candy 300, 900. COZ
y year; they spend in patent medicines
S~loo'oo0,ooo 2 year: they spend ~l50. 600
ooo \ year for picture shows: they spend
T-oO.oOo.o p year for iewelrv: they
spend SOLO OO0.000 a year for spirit,
they spend S9l3.000. 900 for malt honor.
they spend 500. 0O0 600 for wines; they
spend 5000. 900, 900 for tobacco. Are
Americans poverty stricken So saith the
For1AN rh Record.
Thtre'f oyer three and 4 quarter billion.
81 Americans annual expenditure. fnr
things which they could do without. and
no account taken Of the many million
spent for chewing gum and MANY other mil
hons spent for other un-nece-~aric.-if ne
may coin the word.
Yep, we Americans are lavish ,pender-.
just now we are spending 40. Goa. 600. 600
in one year on war. And a. war pronhet-
predict, we may pend forty b.llion- on the
wal next year. We are not stunned hv the
cost. We Just 20 ahead and pay our bill
lions about ~ coolly a. we spend onr
nIrkcls.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

hamper the war preparations Of the coun-
try. The lash is contrary to the ideals of
personal liberty, but the Jail is the only
place for those internal enemies Of our
country. Every man who endeavors 10
prevent the enlistment of drafted men i'm
the army or who promotes labor strikes to
prevent the construction Of ships and war
supplies j. an enemy of the country. If he
is an American citizen. he j. a traitor. The
jail for the alien enemy. The firing squad
for the traitor.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
MEXICO DOING ITS DUTY.
(lIou> Post.l

Citizens Of the United States are sill
operating in the oil fields of Mexico. The
Brownsville Herald tells of a party Of
thirty five oil field workers passing into
the country of Carranza in one body a.
take care Of a new $1,000 barrel well
-ixty-two miles south of Tampico. 1t APP
pears that Mexican oil field i doing IL full
duty by the allies IN this hour of need. And
% 900 barrels Of oil l. \ pretty good daily
contribution even from 4 Mexico well.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

a wise movement is that of the govern
try 10 obtain passports. The freedom with
which this country has permitted ingress
or egres> of any and every one who cared
To come and go. without questioning their
business or requiring certification from
our consular representatives, may have
been instrumental in aiding enemy plots.
When a country is at war. it should guard
every border and know every one who
comes or goes through it, ports.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

quite promptly fixed prices for wheat, coal
iron. steel. cope and other commodities.
Naturally there was some grumbling, but
the prices ~ fixed were accepted with
general satisfaction. Still, there are sim
pie souls who view with alarm the general
tendency of the executive branch Of gov
eminent To gam power AT the expense OF
the legislative branch. y a broad propo-
-ition. such a gain j. necessary il the gov
eminent i, to 10 business III all.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
How Long Must | Suffer
From the Pangs of Rheumatism?

nent good. for they cannot possibly
reach these germs which infest your
blood by the millions.
S. s. s. has been successfully used
for Rheumatism for more than fifty
years. Try it to-day, and you will
find yourself al last on the right
track to get rid OF your rheumatism.
You can get valuable advice about the
treatment Of your individual case by
Swift Specific Co, Dept. ID At
lanta, Ga. IA
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
HIS REASON.

You'll nave 10 get another Doctor said
the one to the patient who had Just called
on him.
IAN | - i'll ~ that" ga-pcd the Suf-
ferer.
II don't know Just how III YOU are" re-
piled the man Of medicine. "hut ! know
You're 4 lawyer who cro~~-examined me
when | appeared a. an expert witness. Nv
conscience wont let me Kill YOU. and I'll
be hanged If | want 10 cure YOU. Good
day.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
TIT FOR TAT.

An lri-hman paid = visit To China. liz
was quick tempered and Il was not long
before ~ had high words with 4 native
who spoke very broken English. SEEING
a dish from u stall close at hand, Pat lei
flv with it. and the Chinaman'~ head wa
cut. On beng brought before the English
consul m was asked why he bad lnoultcd
the native.
"Sure.'' rc,Lied Pat. "he spoke broken
English. and | just gave him broken China
in return"
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
War In History
Monday. November II, 1914.

Germans tried un~uccc~~tullv I" ior''
back the British at lpre~.
Monday, November II, 1915.
Paris reported heavy artillery engage
mcnt~ on the Artoi- front.
Monday, November IL, 1916.
The French coriii,.r the capture Of the
village Of Sa%illi-cl. in the Soomc region.
Percy Hauehton, Harvard celebrated
coach. i developing = great squad
~ gridiron warriors al Cap DevenS. Aver.
Mas. -
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

Subscribers in the city Of Brownsville who
fail 10 receive THE HERALD regularly are
requested 10 notify the office promptly. Tele
phone No. 4. New subscribers should rcceiv
their first paper not later than the second day
after the order il in the office Of THE HER
AID. Every subscriber even in the most dis
tant sections Of the city, should not receive his
paper later than eco y. m.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
A Smile or Two
the SIGN OF RECENTNEss.

An Engli-hwoman went into an eeg store
and asked for fresh eggs.
Yes. mum. plenty ~aid the -hopman
them with a hen ON 'em are fresh"
: II don't zee any with u hen on them,
said tho lady. looking around for a nest
The letter hen mum. not the bird
Hen stands for n~oo-laid. mum-Ex-
change.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12
Is there no real relief in sight?

Doubtless like other sufferers, you
have often asked yourself this queS-
ton, which continues to remain I'M
answered.
Science has proven that your Rheu-
matism IS caused by a germ in your
blood. and the only way TO reach IL IS
by a remedy which eliminates and re-
moves these little pain demons from
your blood. This explains why lini-
ments and lotions can do no perma-
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

Checks should be made payable 10 The
Brownsville Herald Publishing Company. Bust
ness communications should be addressed Ia
the company, and items. letters, etc, intended
for publication should be addressed To Editor,
The Herald, Brownsville. Texas. Letters in
knded for publication should be signed with
the full name IL the writer. The name will not
be printed IL not desired. but il will be evil
ience Of good faith on the part Of the writer.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

Manager Patsy Donovan M the Huilnl"
Bi>on~ i keen for spring training ~ the
north instead Of hiking t. southern chimes
tu yet into baseball condition. On nv" "r-
ca,ion~ the Bi-on- trained near home amt
COPIED the International league pcnm--.
each time.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-11-12

For cleaning billiard table, a combined
brush and vacuum cleaner, operated by q
motor that can be supplied with ~urrrmt
from Il light socket. has been invented.