The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1917-09-25
nv Good Morning, Judge
IN Human Interest Stories Of By
|. TX Police Court Happenings. PERKINS
By
PERKINS

as wharfage tax. Frank Redmond
acts in this capacity at the water
melon wharf. A few days ago Eugene
Ford was taking away a load OF
melons.
Frank ran up to him and asked for
the tax. He pushed Frank away He
pushed the District government when
he pushed Frank and got himself in
trouble. There was a fight and
Eugene's brother got mixed up In 1t,
too. II was because Ford didn't want
to give UP two jltneys to the District.
The very idea of fight going on with
lot OF colored men and water
melons! It's just like German fight
ing his own beer. And Judge Pugh
fined Mr.. Ford s. bill He's out a
hundred jitneys for not paying two.
The Unkind Cut.
Three years ago Dick Williams dec
orateS his wife's face with a Heidel-
berg scar. A sharp razor was used.
For his little cut-up Dick spent
almost two years In the lookup. And
In the meantime, wiley, who didn't
like him anyhow, was having a good
time with her gentleman friends. But
you can't expect man to stay away
from home all the time. Neither can
you expect a woman who had risen
socially to entertain a jailhouse hus-
band. Not so with Dicks WHEY. She
got wind of his coming over from
Baltimore 20 see her. He knew a
thing or two himself.
II would never do for wiley 10 have
her beau know that her husband
was ever in Jail. Oh no. She schemed
to get rid of the nut" when he
came. 1t was all set. Dick pokes his
head In the house Friday morning AT
2 o'clock. Wifey bit herself on the
lip. ran out and yelled bloody murder.
The cop on the beat knew Dick and
suspected that he was up to his old
tricks again. All very nice. She
said that Dick has punched her in
the mouth, but someone else heard
her say that in her own interest and
that OF her beau II would be better
to send him back to Jail Judge Pugh
discouraged this idea and set him free.
"snookie Ookums.-
''Tum tissum tootsie wootsie. oo's
ittel baby is 90, yum, yum" and lots
or other kinds Of mush was going
on in Henry Drury's parlor Sunday
a4ASAAN SNN"Ntll d TOOIuGT anu
her beau. Now, this man Henry is
an old married man, and such mush
makes him sick. It's so earn stale
He and his wife used to do that to-
gether thirty-five years ago. He lis
tened and he listened TO It for about
two hours and then he got hot under
the collar, and called to Annie Bur-
CESS, "Fo Gawd's sake, cut out dat
spoofin'; Ahse sick en- tired of hear
in it; homes de Lawd All am"
Well, the old crust! The nerve of
him to expect such delicious doings to
stop just because he didn't like it.
He didn't even stop to think how
much Mabel Graham liked it. The
girl was so busy she didn't hear the
command to stop. Henry got up in
disgust and pulled her lips away
from her beau's. Broke a kiss right
off in the middle, and then smacked
her in the same spot where she and
her beau had been SOLDERING. Henry
went back to his paper feeling bet
ter He was arrested and fined $40.
JUS n Friendly Chat.
Somebody shot a cat. 1t died. For
a week it laid in the back yard Of an
empty house, with a million flies
round It. This yard was next to that
of Annie jackson. All this time Annie
was wondering who the Germans were
in the neighborhood, because she
thought she smelled limburger. One
morning she found the cat in her
yard. She smelled a rat right away.
Just the night before she had an ar
gument with Corrine Talbert. And
so she thought that Corrine had
thrown it over just for spite.
She yelled to Corrine, and these two
had a cussing match, and outcussed
the man who invented cuss words.
Their husbands had sense enough 10
keep quiet. A cop heard II, and ar
rested both Of them. Why shouldn't
he? Women are not privileged char
acters when it comes to cussing In
public. l guess not The court mas
for a long time been trying to stop
something that might lead to murder
and so Corrine and Annie each lost
ten spot. Who got the cat we DO
not know,