Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1917-01-13


Of success In his class when ma
ture gives way under the strain just
behind his ears, and the consequences
are horrible In the extreme. / know,
because | was that kind of a fresh
man and / had that kind of trouble,
and | was operated upon for IL by my
elders and betters. 1t was a success
ful operation Most Of them are. But
Il makes me writhe still to think of II.
OF all the cruelties on this savage old
earth the custom Of operating upon
freshman for dOmus ballOOnIcus, with
out giving him ether, IS the most heart
less and inhuman. The Humane so
ciety ought to broaden It's scope n
very little so that ii could take In
freshmen and give them the protection
II Is lavishing on the dumb varieties
OF animals.
Looking back from this period Of
ripper wisdom, l can see every excuse
for the freshman whose hatband
breaks with loud crack along I'm the
winter term. Freshmen are young
some Of Them inCOnCeiynbly young.
The bones of the head. you know, are
soft and elastic in the very young.
They haven't the stern resisting power
Of the older noodle cases. You take n
Seyenteen-year-Oldfr freshman with wide
sutUres in his green young skull and
I'll his head full Of compliments and
responsibilities and admiration and
success Churn these all up and mix
them with a few cigarettes and a little
spare time In which to think about
himself and what is the result? The |
mess begins to ferment and put pres |
sure on the skull. And what happens |
then? That young chaps head begins |
10 expand and swell and get vast and |
Dubious and full of gas, and II leaks |
down into his conversation, and pres
emily he is firmly convinced that If |
yoH were to set him In the center of |
darkest Africa and let him talk for a
few hours the monkeys would be wear
ing dark glasses and quoting Latin.
1t isn't the freshman's fault. It's a |
disease of his youth. I have no pa |
tience with the people who think that |
when Il young fellow of eighteen gets |
to making funny noises about himself
and stands around on the horizon wait |
ing for science TO come and determine
his height by triangulatiOn he is going
TO be lifelong annoyance and ought
to be drowned like Il supernuOus pup
by. 1t isn't the first time in his life
that he has been loud and unnecessary.
and if he goes into politics it will not be
the last time. OF course, he is very
great nuisance, and | am i'm favor of
compelling him to 90 around with his
head I'm n grain sack for about six
months. But he will get over it; and
he has better chance In college than
anywhere else. because the upper-clasS
men in college have studied this mat
ter and have given II their careful at
tention. Let a young man who is try
ing 10 wear one Of the rings of Saturn
for n hntband escape from college into
the world In this condition and II will
probably kick him to death trying to
cure him. But leave him In school for
few months and at the end of this
time. II he has not been overlooked
and has had proper care and treat
ment, he will be wearing a thimble for
skull cap and 1t will be coming down
over his ears at that.
Before I had attended Siwash col
lego three months l had mislaid my
shyness and modesty and was a roar
ing. unmitigated nuisance. When I
considered what I had accomplished
in those three months l felt so proud
that IL was difficult for even me to
imagine the respect to which / was
entitled. had come to Siwash young,
unheralded. unknown, bashful. timid,
understood and ignorant, and had. by
my own sterling worth and ability
forced immediate recognition. l was
president Of my class. had led the
rooters through the football season and
had invented four new yells. had
made the banjo club. | was mentioned
for cotillion leader. | had got over
my fear of strange girls and was so
popular that II almost broke my heart
when took young lady to party to
think OF the blighting disappointment
that would canker In dozen gentle
bosons. I belonged to the finest frat
In college-had chosen 1t myself after
SuitIuiiS lHt Oh OID-
er applicants.
The president spoke TO me by name.
The college paper joked about my In
fuence. Siwash was better college for
my coming. OF course, was wasting
my time. but was no snOb. and even
II IL wns little school | intended to
stick to II until my junior year any
way, and pull II up-give 1t some tone.
And wherever I went-to Yale or Har-
vRrG or Columbia-to finish I'D. |
would always think kindly of Slwash
aid defend IL.
After | had reflected along these
lines for couple of hours along
about the middle of November I used
10 look douhtfully ut a couple of troll
ley poles and fold my ears back before
dared tc edge through between them.
| remember. oh, how plainly. the
first little shadow that fell across NV
bliss. II ives in Lit. class. made #
rather n point to attend classes.
though II was unnecessary. for I didn't
suppose my professor would have