South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1917-11-14

-NOW VIII SAuN you just HON
DANES are. on Monday morning my
old lady tells me better drop
around places where / know guys.
and do a little plugging for this suff-
rage racket, because, she says, the
| DANES want TO get all the votes they
| can.
So l do it. l get her 20 stake me
TO 40 bucks, as / explain TO her a
| guy out for votes must have a taw
TO work with, so she gives il TO me
and tells me 10 buy a suit of clothes
out OF what is left. but TO be sure
and get the votes. and bring home
the change.
Well now. ] work like a dog
| dropping in and out OF places and
| seeing the lads here and there. and
| getting them to vote for suffrage,
! besides which l get licked twice on
| account of taking punches at fresh
guys who say they will not vote for
the DANES.
I suppose I drop in and out of as
many as 200 places, from Tonnes.
up in Harlem. TO the Dutchman's,
| down in William St, and thousands
of guys promise me they will vote
| for my racket, including many wait
| ers and taxicab drivers and all such
as that
or course my 40 bucks is not much
dough after 1 really commence TO
| cover ground, SO l send a messenger
| boy up 10 my joint with a note TO
my old lady telling her the cam
/ paign is going great and to give the
bearer 80 more.
Then, after 1 send him. get TO
thinking that the chances are she
will not have the right change in
the house, and that maybe she will
decide TO follow the messenger back
| to the place where 1 am to help
me get the votes. So l leave that
place without waiting for the mes
| senger to come back, because IL is
not a place where a dame can get
votes anyway.
/ telephone later TO the telegraph
Office from which I get the messen-
| ger to see il he lands the 40, but
| il seems there is nothing doing, an
! they talk very hostile to me and ask
me do l want 10 get their messen-
ger boys assassinated; which. Of
| course, do not, what with labor be-
/ ing so scarce, and all
Well, I do not know yet just how
many votes the danes get all told
| but / am responsible for many thou
sands of them, so about three bells
"Wednesday morning 1 go home. full
/ OF speed, and all such as that, think
ing I am st in great on account Of
my wonderful work, only TO find I
stand just like a broken leg around
my joint.
Instead Of being all smoked NJ
over our wonderful victory, my old
! lady wants 20 know right away
where / am since Monday morning
and OF course / cannot tell her eX-
aCtly, because l am so many places.
And that is the way DANES are. al
ways hollering about one little OLD
/ Tuesday that a guy is away. when
/ ne Is doing his best to help their
racket along.
My old man used to say there is
no use trying TO make them under
stand practical politics, and I guess
| that is So Ny old man spends
many a year about practical politics
out in Colorado, where they are
voting so many years that none Of
them will admit now they vote tn"
! first year suffrage comes in. and he
/ says he comes TO the conclusion IL
cannot be done.
Nv old man says the trouble with
DANES is that they are too square,
and. OF course. there is no use try
ing to do anything in practical pol
tics with square people. You just
have 10 let them go along. That
/ is why my old man gets so disgust
ed. and quits.
He says a dame figures it is not
square TO put the names OF dead
guys on the registration books and
vote them at election, even though
/ the other side will do IL II you do
not do il first, and my old man says
| il is simply no use fooling with
people who have ideas such as that
Ny old man used TO say most OF
| his gray hair comes from sitting up
at night trying 20 figure some way
/ of influencing the female vote OF
/ our town. but he never gets any
where with IT,
He is telling me one time about
guy BY the name Of Frank some
! thing. who figures out a wonder
! full system OF doing II. which my old
man says is a sure success II this
Frank does not go TO work and gum
| IL himself.
Ny old man says this Frank Is the
| slickest guy he ever knows in prac-
teal politics. He says that five min
utes after the returns show some re-
/ form measure carries. this Frank
/ can sit down and dope out a way 20
beat IT, My old man says things
such as the headless ballot and the
direct primary are just a laugh to
Frank.
Well my old man says. this Frank
studies suffrage for 10 years. and
then he comes 10 the conclusion
that the only way 20 influence the
Il