The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1917-04-26
EXfenuafiOn

DI ever tell you about Long Archi.
bald Allison McGregor? Inquired the
grayest-haired reporter.) "Or Judge
Six-Months," the vags called him. He
was stern old Scotchman for you
on the bench-ya'as. But-say !-out
with the boys. he set 'em pace!
Still. in court, well-they used to say
that when he got bored listening to q
case he'd just turn, wearylike, to the
clerk, and humble, "Six months" and
that eRded that case.
Anyhow, saw him do thing once
I was hanging around his courtroom
one morning, picking up space, when
an ancient vag stood up for sentence ;
a drunk and disorderly." The Judge
looked tagged. There'd been politi-
cal ratification meeting, night before.
He automatically put the routine ques-
ton as to whether the prisoner had
anything to offer in extenuation.
The old vag tipped him Il wink out
of one red eye. leered around at us
reporters to make sure we were on,
and yanked the throttle wide open.
swell, jedge," he says, "they's a.
many good ex-ten-u-a-tion fer cap
ital IL of IL good time like l had last
night, but I amt lucky enough to be
carrying them around in my jeans.
There's the swell clubhouse. That's
q mighty big ex-ten-u-a-tiOn-"
Talk about your shocks! A 'stcen.
thousand vOltage to the nth power
short-circuited around that news ta-
BILE in the miliionth part of Il second,
and paralyzed every good MpOrtorial
right arm clean down to the sure
'nough diamond splinter on the ex-
treme tip of the rep0rtorial pen-point.
Each of us lamped or Judge Six
Months from beneath cOyly dropping
eyelashes. But the judge never turned
hair; looked II bit bleaker, perhaps,
but game; Scotch game. Noncommit-
tai. Though. ON second thoughts,
wouldn't say noncOmmittal was ex-
actly the word.
"But-it amt fer me-" the old vag
chirped on; nope. Not fer the likes
Of me-"
Nothing for him to worry about
see? He hadn't any job to lose. lie
was going to he sent up, anyway.
Judge-baiting was perfectly safe
pastime, and he went to it! Question
was. how long would Old Six-Months
play up?
''Then." goes on Old Blcar eye, "a
champagne jays supposed to be the
worst ever-but 1t don't lead to the
lookup; not usually. And-there's the
$40 taxi. It's expensive. but it comes
cheaner in the long run than the police
wagon. You betcha! And-jest fer
another little OIL ex-ten-u-a-tiOn-
there's the cop that knows his star will
set fer good if he lands his charge at
the police station when he's due ut a
big Queen Anne bungalow on the
heights. Now, jedge-" says'e, Il
amt got all them ex-ten-u-ations, and
you have. But" you could see he
sOrta admired or Six-MOnths' grit
"rm II good sport, same's you. l amt
kickin', ner sayin' you don't deserve to
git off. You do. I'd git off, myself, If
[ had half yer pull. The pots yourn.
I don't buck no pair of deuces ag'in Il
royal flush. They're all yourn-all
them eX-ten-u-a-tiOns. amt got nary
an eXten-;in't got even 81 ten in my
britcheS pocket to pay my fine. So-
| it's do time fer yours truly. amt
aworrying- an l don't hold it ag'in
yuh. jcdge. You had Il rip-roarin' time
on champagne. and | want SO fur he
hind on bug juice. Say!-I bet your
heads bigger'n mine, this mornin!
But--LOrtlee you can afford an as
sOrtment of hats. Soho hard feelin's,
jeige. When 1 git out I'll be glad to
take another on yuh. BY that time
you'll be gittin' off yer milk diet yer
SELF"
The old vag paused tentatively. Nc
Gregor politely gave him time to get
rid of anything che he might happen
to have ON his chest.
"Wcll." the old scout pipcd up again,
with IL sort of satisfied grunt, "git Il
move on. ledge. I'm in a hurry to be-
gin wor Il out that six months. I've
got Il date on fer a regular ripsnorter,
come next Christmas time. VISIT YOU
could make it SO as to jine us, jedge,"
polite as basket of chips.
Well, say. There was big laugh
coming. But not just then. Not-just
then. Old Six-M0nths had political