davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

The reason why there is so much dis appointment in this world is because we all expect too much.
 A growing boy takes so many chances swimming. skating and climbing and en- dures so many cuts. rusty nail wounds and burns that the wonder is that there. are any grown men at all.
 If woman happens to have a good figure the other women in the neighbor- hood like to say that she goes without enough to eat in order to buy expensive corsets.
 There may be only one devil, but he must have about 100000 department ex- ecutives. It would be impossible for one devil to attend to all the work in his line.
 who is such perfect lady that you get the impression that he wears knee length stockings, a gauge undervest and a cor set
 The world is growing better You do not see any more of those old-fashioned pictures in which the bride is standing up and the groom sitting, and the bride has her hand on the groom's shoulder and both look as miserable as if they had just swallowed peck of bichloride tab lets.
 Now that they are regulating every thing, the prohibitionists might pass a law prohibiting a man who has hairy legs from wearing a nightshirt and com polling him to wear pajamas. The reason some of them look so funny when they are dressed up is because a woman will wear any old thing if she thinks 1t makes her look younger. The trouble with handsome men and pretty girls is that they are always ham dicapped by the fact that they know they are.
 What has become of the old-fashioned boy who used to sleep in a trundle- bed ? A girl will rave over a movie fillum hero that she wouldn't live with for two
 hours If they were married. If it is your child. 1t is cute. If 1t is neighbours child, it Is impudent. Any time you see a man who doesn't | like a dog you will notice that the dog doesn't think much of him. either.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
Three-Mill Tax
I'm St. Clair County

NUU A0Se Ss49SAA NRVSSG4SV
 e T. CLAIR county voted the B. G mill school tax last Tuesday, but the majority was small-only SO. There was comparatively light vote, and County Superintendent of Educa- tion George W. Floyd writes to The Age-Herald that the small majority was due to the fact that "strong oppo- sition arose during the last few days of the campaign through misrepresen- tation by opposing parties"
 St. Clair is one of the best counties in the state, but it had narrow es- cape from falling into Marshall coun- tvs class-the only county which has defeated the tax-by not organizing thoroughly.
 Friends of the public school should take nothing for granted. The coun- ties in which school tax elections are now pending should wake up. No voter should be allowed to be ignorant of the provisions of the new amendment. No right thinking citizen, when he be- comes informed, will ever vote against a special school tax.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
PATRICK HENRY'S WAR SPEECH

could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have suppli- cated; we have prostrated ourselves be- fore the throne, and have implored it's in- deposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and parliament. Our pe- titions have been sighted; our remon- strances have produced additional vio- lence and insult; our applications have been disregarded, and we have been spurned with contempt from the foot of
 the throne. In vain, these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and recon ciliation? There is no longer any room for hope If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve inviolate those inesti-
 mable privileges for which we have been so long contending; if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged and which we have pledged ourselves never to aban-
 don until the glorious object of our con- test shall be obtained-we must fight. l repeat it, sir we must fight. An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that l is left us
 They tell us, sir, that we are weak unable to cope with so formidable an ad- versary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week or the next 1 year? Will it be when We are totally disarmed and when a British guard shall | be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inac- tion2 Shall we acquire the means of ef- fectual resistance by lying supinely
 our backs and hugging the delusive phan- l tom of hope until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are
 not weak, if we make proper use of those
 means which the God of nature hath 1 placed in our power.
 ! Three millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty and in such a coun-
 try as that which we possess are invin-
 cible to any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir. we shall
 just God, who presdes over the destinies
 of nations, and who will raise up friends
 to fight our battles for us. The battle
 sir, is not to the stronger alone; it is to
 the vigllant, the active, the brave. Be-
 sides, sir, we have no election. If we were
 base enough to desire 1t, 1t is now too
 late to retire from the contest. There is
 no retreat but in submission and slavery
 Our chains are forged. Their clanking
 may be heard on the plains of Boston.
 The war is inevitable. And let 1t come.
 I repeat it, sir let it come.
 i It is vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. 1 Gentlemen may cry peace, peace but
 there is no peace. The war is actually be-
 gun. The next gale that sweeps from
 the north will bring to our ears the clash
 of resounding arms. Our brethren are al- ready in the field. Why stand we idle
 here? What would they have? Is life so
 dear or peace So sweet as to be purchased
 at the price of chains and slavery? For
 bid it, Almighty God. I know not what
 course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
Keep Patriotism I'm Straight Course

IL IS not ngh 1t is of few  It not decent point the finger
  criminal autoclacy Is at war Attorney all that loyal Americans and calm Willis the courthouse meeting which prejudice questioning the intentions
   thesep They themselves the thought 
   o will
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
ImduseriaI Leader
 Appreciates Negro

T1HHAT was an admirable address
 A of J. R. McWane, president of the American Cast Iron Pipe and Foundry company, before the Real Es- tate exchange on the negro exodus. It was timely, for not only does Bir- mingham and the Birmingham dis trict need dependable negro labor, but the agricultural south needs the negro.
 MT. McWane is at the head of a corporation employing 1000 negroes, and the president bears testimony to the faithfulness of their service. MT. Mcwane stressed the idea that if we nro to keep the negro contented his 1I<lng conditions must be improved S6 compared with those of other days,
 nd hs must receive more humane
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

From the Washington Post.
 C0NlTIE speech from which the following | is an extract was delivered by l = Patrick Henry at Richmond, Va, in old St. Johns church. The occasion was a resolution introduced March 23, 1775, in the Virginia convention, to put that commonwealth into a state of de- fense against Great Britain. The speech, | in part, is as follows:
 | Mr. President, it is natural for man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against painful truth and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this l the part of wise men engaged in great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we 1 disposed to be of the number of those who having eyes see not and having ears hear not the things which so nearly con- cern their temporal salvation? For my part whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide | for it.
 q have but one lamp by which my feet
 
 perience. NJ know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And, judg- l ing by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of British ministry for the last 10 years to justify | those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the house. Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately re- ceived? Trust 1t not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with kiss. Ask your selves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with those warlike preparations which cover our waters and necessary to a work of love and recon ciliation?
 I Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that force must be called in to win back love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation-the last argu- ments to which kings resort. I ask, gen. tlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen asign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy in this quarter of the world to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir; she has none. They are meant for us they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose them? Shall we try argument Sir. we have been trying that for the last 10 years. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing.
 'We have held the subject up in every light of which 1t is capable. but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to en- treaty and humble application? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves longer. l Sir, we have done everything that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
AN APRIL SONG

AN APRIL SONG Iris a time of mirth and gladness, Poets yield to April madness, Quite bewitched by spring. Though they dwell up in an attic, Green leaves bring a mood ecstatic' Till theyre bound to sing There's no bird whose heart is lighter, Through lifes grime prospect brighter Dawns upon their view. What is fame and what is money? Cloudless days, and warm and sunny, Fading hopes renew.
 TROUBLE BREWING sir" said the man with a martial air your country is calling you" I'm not denying it," replied the meek looking citizen, but if that sort of thing keeps up much longer my country is going to have some words with my wife
 EXPECTANT What did the doctor adviser "A change of scene'' Do you think you will get it?'' "I have hopes. It's about time for some new advertisements to be painted on the billboards out my way"
 PERSISTENT BORROWER "Glthers is an optimist.'' "Yes?"
 "He makes a joke of his poverty" Why shouldn't he The joke is at the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
HOTEL L0BBHEs
Boy Scouts Fine Body

"It was a great sight to see tue Boy Scouts promenading through the streets yesterday morning, ready to offer their services to the city" said Secretary Bob McDavid of the Bir- mingham Real Estate exchange. It actually looked like war. When a per son observed those well trained boys, it wasn't hard matter to see that they will make excellent soldiers when they are old enough The Boy Scouts institution is one thing in Birmin gham that l believe everybody is agreed is above the average. You usually find somebody kicking everything and ev- erybody, but I have never heard any body say one word against the Boy scouts The band should be able to render great service to Brmingham in case of war"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

aid shall constitute prime force for the success of this club, prizes may be of fered once each year for the best results obtained the intrinsic value and char acter of such prizes and rules for con- testing for same to be determined by the members of the club
 That children under 16 years of age shall have preference in the distribution of prizes, and every effort shall be made to promote and encourage the efforts of young people in their endeavors for the attainment of skill
 Women who labor thehnselves without the efforts of their husbands and fath- CTS, shall, in the distribution of gies, have second choice to youthful endeavor- CTS.
 Clubs have been formed at Dora. To- lande. Brookwood, Searles. Calumet, Townley, Altoona, Myota, Margaret, Ac- No. 265. on '"The Home Vegetable Garden,' D gotten through Senator Bankhead from the government, have been distributed and 5000 more ordered. The coal opera tors bulletin on the subject Is out of print but will be reprinted.
 T think it Is a healthy sign when a score or more big operators combine to improve the living conditions of those em- ployed by them. Each organization in the movement offers prizes and gives help in the way of furnishing stock blowing. fertilizers or seeds.
 The officers of the Coal Operators as- sociation is guarantee of the success of the enterprise which promises to beau- tify. elevate and better in every way the comfort of their employees. G. B. Mo Cormack is president. Charles F. De- Bardeleben. vice president. and James l. Davidson. secretary treasurer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
Will Not Be As
Slow As Emglamd

Slow As EmglaMG
 THE United States navy will be N kept busy in this world war. Whether the army will be required to do much fighting will depend upon developments; but big army we must have in readiness, and assuming that the administration military bill, to be introduced in Congress Monday, is adopted, no time will be lost in assembling raw recruits in training camps.
 When the European war started the mistake England made was in trust ing to her old volunteer system. If the British government had gone to conscripting at once it would have been economy in the end, from every point of view.
 The United States will not make the same mistake. The President will first call for volunteers to fill up the ranks, but if the response is not suf- ficient to satisfy the military authori- ties then the commander-in-c chief will order the drafting of enough men ito raise the first 500,000 of the new force of young soldiers" by the late summer, and another 500,000 shortly thereafter. The training will be in- tensive.
 This is a time for speedy action or the part of the war department Every officer will be on his mettle of course, and in few weeks large units of new men will be on the roao to military efficiency.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

treatment from the officers of the law. And he practices what he breaches. His company's plant is a model from every point of view. Every negro employed there not only earns good wages, but is made self respecting. Few negroes that get on the pay roll of the company ever leave.
 The Tennessee company and other prominent corporations treat their negro operatives we'll, but no indus trial leader, perhaps, has given more thought to labor welfare or observed the negro at closer range than MT. McWane. His remarks should have a far-reaching effect for good.
 A Portsmouth, O., restaurant has sub- stituted Yankee fried spuds'' and "Yan- kee pot roast" for German fried potatoes
 
 and German pot roast. Still. there are any number of patriotic Americans who drink Bavarian beer-if they could get it.
 * <: ::
 The highest priced star in burlesque has had a quarrel with his manager. Whats the use of being high priced if one can't prove it to the satisfaction of all concerned by quarrelng occasionally with ones manager?
 *
 If General Carranza thinks the psy- chological moment has arrived to smite Uncle Ssfn, it will show beyond perad- venture of doubt that he believes ev- erything the Teutons tell him. Very little informa ton about the new Russian government is being published, but nothing has happened yet to stop those sleds speeding home from sibe- ria
 The ''lady from Montana was show cred with flowers and candy" She seems to have needed a few extra handker- chiefs more than bouquets and bonbons. A 1 'The Hohenzollerns must go,' says the Philadelphia Inquirer. And send the Hapsburgs along to keep the Hohenzol- lerns company. 1 bibulous person doesn't have to read l the handwriting on the wall to know that his supply of liquor is going to be cut off July l.
 The Russians and the English have started a get-together movement in the near east which is robbing the Turk oi his rest.
 The Hon. Jeannette Rankin broke dowr in Congress and cried. Hasn't the Hon woman?
 | * * * Patriotic Americans in large number are preparing to spend the summer, ant possibly next winter. somewhere II France"
 Those German agents needn't thini they can lure southern negroes away just when watermelon time is drawing near.
 The automobiles of Nicholas Romanof will henceforth be marked with plaiI IN. R."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

The trees are beginning to clothe their bare limbs, but the chorus girlies have no idea of doing anything like that.
 * * It isn't surprising that Senator Varda- man voted No" He is constitutionally opposed to supporting the President.
 % N Service on board those submarine chasers will not call for much swabbing of decks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

BEGINNING THE DAY-O Tomb! o Death. Once I thought that they bIackness was irretrievable, thy reign eternal. Once l thought that failure and despair and sin were the victOrs. I thought that man was the creature of circumstances and ot inherited evil; that the pail was the rightful garment of life. But since I have met God I know that night leads to day, and that dehth
 the beginning of life.-H. M. l.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
A FAIR WARNING

From the Montgomery Advertiser
 If Birmingham turns around and elects Commissioner Barber president of tho city commission, we shall promptly with draw our sympathy from Birmingham and assevereate that the Magic City brought it on herself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
THE IMPOSSIBLE

Oh, life would surely be more gay
 And there would more contentment be, If every one could have his way
 And every couple would agree.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
PLAYING IN HARD LUCK

PLAYING IN HARD LUCK DO you indorse this back-to-the-soil 
 Don't my action prove it?' asked the motorist q hardly ever take my car out for spin in the country that I don't have to crawl under the darned thing and put my back to the soil"
 ENTIRELY ARTIFICIAL According to the programme this prima donna is native Hawaiian" 50 I see. The clothes she is wear ing came from Paris the Hawaiian song she is singing was written in Tin Pan Alley and the golden brown of her skin came out of makeup box"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
HIS PAINFUL DUTY

From the Cincinnati Times-Star.
 We wonder if the submarine comman- der who ordered that the Aztec be tor pedoed had ever heard of Bethmann-Ho weg's beautiful sentiment that Germany did not wish war with the United States
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
War Against SparroM

George B. Ward has found the boys of Birmingham with him in waging a war against the English sparrow.
 Even if the campaign to rid the city of English sparrows is not a complete success, we will have the pleasure of knowing that hundreds of these pests have been eliminated" said MT. Ward. "The boys of Blr- mingham are cooperating in this movement splendidly' and I have re- ceived several hundred sparrow eggs. The city is paying 2 cents each for these and one cent for the dead birds.
 'It would be fine if the boys would determine to continue making their spending money from the bounties they receive. By exterminating the sparrows they will aid the city beau tiful idea and the cleanup week."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
Country Is Calm

It Is quite remarkable to note how calmly the country has accepted the of ficial declaration of. state of war;" says Rogers, Brown & Co.'S weekly market report. When the trouble in Mexico be- came acute about two years ago, and it looked as though the United States would declare war on band of outlaws, great deal more excitement was created than today when we announce to the world that we are to enter in the war against the greatest military organization in ex istence. The calm but firm spirit of the Presidents message is reflected through out the country and industry is going forward steadily
 For sometime in the iron and steel business the feeling has been that, re- gardless of our participation in the war, prosperity would continue for at least a year or two, and buying has gone on ac- cordingly. While during the past week pig iron buying has not been quite so active as it has during some of the weeks immediately preceding, the most notable effect of the action of President Wilson and the Senate is the withdrawal from the market of several furnaces.
 These producers, with their order books in a very satisfactory condition, appear willing to wait few weeks before selling out entirely, believing that much higher values will rule and there seems to be firm foundations for such belief. Without a doubt this country will be called upon even more extensively by the allies for supplies. and if our government inteneds to get on war footing, 1t will have to purchase heavily from the iron and steel producers Unless conditions enter which are not now perceptible this will bring about an actual shortage of pig iron Buying for 1918 continues at lively clip, the orders and inquiries com ing from diversified interests, demon strating that the prospect of future ac- tivity is quite universal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

Things sweet to taste, prove in digestion sour. -Richard H.
 * % *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
MODERN TYPE

Here's millionaire who is real pa- triot."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07
Pittsburg Man Likes City

Birmingham is a fine town" said Larry Doyle, Pittsburg newspaper man, in town with the Pittsburg Pirates. 'I have often heard Birmingham called the 'Pittsburg of the South, but I did not have the slightest idea that it was city of 100000. The resources of Birmingham are great, under stand
 "Burleigh Grimes, a pitcher for the Birmingham club last season, has told me much about Birmingham and really began to think it was a big city. And, sure enough. it is. The resi- dential section is beautiful.
 T can see no reason why Birming- ham should not grow to be the largest city in the south and that within the next 10 years. The war with Germany will cause more men to be employed here and on account of the number of steel plants and other industries, the population should continually increase. You have fine town and if I ever decide to move to the south Birming ham will be my first stopping place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

-----, Alabama, have associated our the purposes hereinafter set out and do adopt and establish the following consti- tuition and bylaws for the government of same.
 CONSTITUTION.-~AR 1-NAME.
 Section 1. This organization shall be known as "The Peoples Garden Club of Alabama
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-07

Most preambles, whereases, therefores, be it resolved, etc, make mighty dull reading, but the document from which I'm going to quote Is an exception