davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
PriestIy Humor.

The guests at the silver jubilee of
Rev. James Lynch of st. Martin of
Tours parish, Brooklyn, learned, in n
very simple way, of the secret of his
great success amongst his people. Here
is his speech, which, for cold and un-
romantic truth-telling, has never been
surpassed: "Dear brethren: At my
silver jubilee 1 was anxious that you
should make n fuss over me- You have
actually made fuss over me. L am
grateful. When the memory of the gilt
ter and glamour of this day shall have
passed away, you may forget that the
bishop was here; you may forget the
beautiful sermon preached; you may
forget the beauty of the church and the
sweetness of the music, but you will
never forget that it was the one occa-
sion since my arrival here some years
ago that, on entering the pulpit, did
not talk about the collection"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
EYES OF THE YOUNG PEOPLE
Backward Student Rapidly Makes Up
Lost Ground When Astiomat-
ism Is Corrected.

The oldest boy in the class had
been called upon to read and had pro-
duced humiliation on the part of his
teacher, who was entertaining n WIS.,
itor. The boy bent over his book,
studying out the words one by one.
Smaller children read the lesson off
quickly. Thoroughly despairing of
Tom, for that was the dull boys name.
the teacher addressed the visitor
"What would you do with hopeless
pupil like that?"
"Have his eyes examined" the an
swer came quickly.
"Why, I never had thought of that"
gasped the teacher, and then with the
Tom as he sat in his seat crouched
down over his book and her sharp ad-
monition to sit up straight; of his ut
ter failure to copy problems or SEN
| tences written on the board; of his In
ability to learn, which came not from
lack of trying, but from what she had
termed "dumbness."
The teacher visited Toms father
and mother After considerable per-
suasion they consented to take the boy
to an oculist. Tom was found to be
suffering from astigmatism, which
caused the words on printed page to
double and dance before his eyes. A
pair of glasses corrected the difficulty,
and Tom returned to school able to
see as well as any normal boy. He is
still handicapped by being two years
behind his grade, by painful lack of
self-confidence and by reputation of
dullness. However, all of these handi-
caps are being rapidly overcome.
A child who needs glasses needs
them at once and not several years
later. To wait until he has grown
older on the plea that he will break
his glasses or outgrow them is to do
him an irreparable injury.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
10 CENT "CASCARETS"
FOR LIVER AND BOWELS
Cure Sick Headache, Constipation
Biliousness, Sour Stomach, Bad
Breath-Candy Cathartic.

No odds how bad your liver, stom-
ach or bowels; how much your head
aches, how miserable you are from
constipation, indigestion, biliousness
and sluggish bowels-you always get
relief with Cascarets. They imme-
diately cleanse and regulate the stom-
ach, remove the sour, fermenting food
and foul gases; take the excess bile
from the liver and carry off the con-
stipated waste matter and poison
from the intestines and bowels. A
10-cent box from your druggist will
keep your liver and bowels clean
stomach sweet and head clear for
months. They work while you sleep
ADV.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
AGreaf Discovery
(BY j. H. WATSON, NJ. d.

Swollen hands, ankles, feet are due to
q dropsical condition, often caused by
disordered kidneys. Naturally when the
kidneys are deranged the blood is filled
with poisonous waste matter, which set
ties in the feet, ankles and wrists; or
under the eyes in bag-like formations.
AS remedy for those easily recog-
nized symptoms of Inflammation caused
by uric acid as scalding urine, back
ache and frequent urination, as well as
sediment in the urine, or if uric acid in
the blood has caused rheumatism, lum-
bago, sciatica, gout, it is simply wonder
full how quickly Anuric acts the pains
and stiffness rapidly disappear.
Take a glass of hot water before meals
and Anuric to flush the kidneys.
Step into any drug store and ask for
Anuric, many times more potent than
lithia and eliminates uric acid IS hot
water meits sugar.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
Better keep peace than make peace
END STOMACH TROUBLE,
GASES OR DYSPEPSIA
"Pape's DiapepsIn" makes Sick, Sour,
Classy Stomachs surely feel flne
In five minutes.

II what you just ate is souring on
your stomach or lies like a lump Of
lead, refusing to digest, or you belch
gas and eructate sour, undigested
food, or have feeling of dizziness.
heartburn, fullness, nausea, bad taste
In mouth and stomach-headache, you
can get blessed relief in five minutes.
Put an end to stomach trouble forever
by getting large fifty-cent case of
Pape's Diapepsin from any drug store.
You realize in five minutes how need
less it is to suffer from Indigestion.
dyspepsia or any stomach disorder.
It's the quickest, surest stomach doc
tor tn the world. It's wonderful.-Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
That Swampy Section.

Church-You know my brother
bought some property down on Long
Island and built bungalow, and he's
called it Submarine.
isn't it?
"Oh, no; you see down in that To-
cality nearly everything is under wa
ter O lot of the time"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
ACTRESS TELLS SECRET.

A we'll known actress gives the follow
ing recipe for gray hair: To half pint OF
water add l OF. Bay Rum, a small box OF
Barbo Compound. and \ oz OF glycertns.
ANY druggist can put this up or you can
mix 1t at home at very little cost. Fuu
directions for making and use como in
each box of Barbo Compound. 1t wild
gradually darken streaked. faded gray
hair, and make 1t soft and glossy. It will
not color the scalp. is not sticky %
greasy, and does not rub on. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Send l0c to DIR. Pierce, lnvalids' Hotel
Buffalo, for large trial package of Anuris
for kidneys-cures backache.-Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Male and female slaves were solo
publicly in the fairs of England dur
ing the fourteenth century.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
Lively Aid to Cupid.

Eighteen residents of the Pueblo
(Colo) Young Mems Christian associ-
alton dormitory have been married
since that institution opened Its doors
about n year ago.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
THOUSANDS HAVE KIDNEY
TROUBLE AND DON'T KNOW IT
A Trial VIII Convince Anyone.

A Trial VIII Convince Anyone.
Thousands of people have testified
that the mild and immediate effect Of
Swamp Root. the great kidney. liver and
bladder remedy, is soon realized and that
it stands the highest for its remarkable
results in the most distressing cases.
Symptoms Of Kidney Trouble.
Swamp Root is not recommended for
everything but if you suffer from annoy
ing bladder troubles. frequently passing
water night and day. smarting or irrita-
ton in passing, brick-dust or sediment.
headache. backache. lame back, dizzi-
ness, poor digestion, sleeplessness. nerv-
BUSINESS, heart disturbance due to bad
kidney trouble, skin eruptions from bad
blood, neuralgia, rheumatism, lumbago.
bloating, irritability. worn-out feeling,
lack of ambition, may be loss of flesh or
sallow complexion. kidney trouble in its
worst form may be stealing upon you.
swamp-Root 10 Pleasant to Take.
If you are already convinced that
Swamp-Root is what you need, you can
purchase the regular ffty-cent and one
dollar size bottles at all drug stores.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
A wOMAN'S BURDENS

are lightened when she turns to the right
medicine. If her existence Is made
gloomy by the chronic weaknesses, deli
cate arrangements, and painful disorders
that afllict her sex, she will find relief and
emancipation from her troubles in DR..
Pierce's Favorite Prescription, If she's
overworked, nervous, or rundown" /" sh.ss
finds new life and strength. It's power
full, invigorating tonic and nervine whicis
was discovered and used by an eminent
physician for many years, in all cases OF
afemale complaints" and weaknesses. For
young girls just entering womanhood
for women at the critical Uchange OF life;r
In bearing-down sensations, periodical
pains, liberation, Inflammation, and every
kindred ailment, the uFavorite PreScrip~
tionr is guaranteed to benefit or cure.
Or. Pierce's Pellets cure biliousneaA
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

pearance, he was outlaw and doomed
to death without hearing.
Il know from what quiver this ar
row comes ~ said Charles, his lips
white with rage. at is shot by that
degenerate noble, Albert of Geieis -ein.
BY st. George of Burgundy! G@.hing
shall save him after such ap 'gr, Us
this! 1 will hang him to Il Lest
steeple in Nancy and his Hs.r liter
shall choose the meanest her y in
my army for husband!''
Little more than week later. on
the 1st of January, 1477, in II bitter
dawn of ice and snow, there came II
sound like the roar of an avalanche.
The officers rushed to their posts and
were cut down by men who appeared
here, there. everywhere. The artil-
lerists manned their guns, and found
that they had been spiked. The Swiss
poured through. A red glare broke
out and lit up the scene. The Burgun-
dian camp had been fired at four ends.
When day broke the duke of oxford
found the body of Charles, duke of
Burgundy, lying mired by waterhole,
and near him, in the disguise of Bur-
gundian man-at-arms, lay the body of
Count Albert of Geierstein, the avenger
of the Vehm- Gericht.
"Anne of GeierStein" has for its
hero and heroine the son of the er-
lied duke of Oxford, the loyal Lam
castrian, and Anne. daughter of the
strange and eccentric count of Gel
erstein (Vulture,s Rock), a castle in
the Swiss Alps. The nouel is not
one of SCOTS great ones. but it is
Dorthy and sound, and it possesses
a sentimental interest to his admir-
ers because it represents tDhat may
truly be called the sunset of his
genius. He had his first paralytic
seizure in the year following its
publication.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
FOR ITCHING, BURNING SKINS
Bathe With Cuticura Soap and Apply
the Ointment-Trial Free.

For eczemas, rashes, itchings, irrita-
tions, pimples, dandruff, sore hands,
and baby humors, Cuticura Soap and
Ointment are supremely effective. Be-
sides they tend to prevent these dis
tressing conditions, If used for every
day toilet and nursery preparations.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. l.,
Boston. Sold everyvhere.-Adv.
Remorse is memory that has gone to
seed.
Turkey has put bakeries under gov
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
An Empty Echo.

Money talks" observed the Sage.
"Yes," replied the Fool. But all
some of us hear is the echo"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

If you wish beautiful, clear whit,
clothes, use Red Cross Bag Blue. At al
good grocers. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Japan has goldfish farm that has
been in continuous operation since
l763.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

The United States coastguard in 191e
saved / ,507 lives.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Siam has resumed the cultivation
of cotton. once n leading industry In
that country.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Two Beauties Of This World.
Stella-What is always beautiful?
Bella-Snow and any woman who
gets in the papers.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11
The Kind 1t Was

The Kind 1t Was.
"Did you have a fine kind of auto
mobile trip?"
ut was nothing but fines"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Those who object to liquid medi-
eines can now procure Peruna Tab.
lets.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

The chain of French forts from
Verdun, now being so fercely fought
for, to Nancy, which form one COM
bined system of defense for French
Lorraine, lie in a region famous in
history and legend. None is more
thrilling than the capture of Nancy
by the Swiss. This episode and the
destruction of the Burgundian army
are fine part of Sir Walter SCOTS
Anne of Geierstein."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

New York city has eight pension
funds
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

SPECIAL NOTE sample bottle of BY enclosing
to medicine They will also send book Of
md who
Swampoot
wenkno
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1917-01-11

Turkey has put bakeries under gov
ernment rule.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-05-07
SUNK 1851, 800 IN
BASEBALL VENTURE

Sew York. May --That the late
Robert ward who al the time of his
death. Oct is 1915. was president O.,
the Brooklyn FederaIs and vice Dreet-
dent of the Federal league lost for
tune i'm baseball was disclosed bv a
report OF the appraisal Of his estate.
Prior TO his entrance in baseball his
fortune had been estimated al more
than SIS 600 00o BY appraisal it de-
creased TO $1.159.l58.
1Ir. Ward held promissorv notes OF
the Federal league and the BROOKLYN
club amounting to 500 SEQ. With the
promissory notes. total Of 1851 500
was sunk ia baseball
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
RICHMOND TIMES DISPATCH: SUNDAY DECEMBER 8, 1917.

energetic efforts Of the Civic 'Associa-
ton OF Richmond and various local or
CARNATIONS 10 interest people in the
subject
The Civic Association has used vari-
GUS efforts TO interest the citizens
circular letters. appeals 10 employers.
large display advertising in all four
daily papers da? after dag. and a house
TO house canvass in various parts OF the
city. y. A. Hawkins, chairman Of tho
associations registration committee.
and Dr. ID. Z. Anderson. the executive
secretary. have been particularly active.
and report that many citizens who had
not paid their poll taxes fcr several
years have como forward and doac
their duty. The Citizams' Association IN
Ninth Precinct Madison Ward. on tho
South Side: In the Eighth Lee. on the
North Side, and In Barton Heights ia.
also made active Can.asscs in the rrc.
cincts, and reports substantial results.
II is pointed out that without active
efforts payments would have fallen
even far below the usual number on &C
count o! the absence Of soldiers and
the absorption Of tho public in pa
triotic enterprises.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
CHRISTMAS CLUBS WILL
PAY OUT LARGE SUMS
Total of s575,0O0 10 lie Dr.bur.cd Thi.
Week &c Local
Snyers.

approximately $4,000 Will be dis
tributed in the next few days by Rich
mond financial institutions to about
1900 members Of the Christmas saw
ings clubs. which are conducted by sew
placed in the mails this week The
savings clubs since their inauguration
several years ago. have grown exceed
insiy popular. Small weekly payments
are made for nifty weeks, the banks
paying the nominal interest and mall
ing checks for the entire savings two
weeks before Christmas.
The Old Dominion Trust Company.
which absorbed the Richmond Bank
and Trust Company. tho pioneers in the
field. Will make the largest payment.
This inetitution's club had member
ship 81 1900. and will distribute S21O.-
900. These checks were placed in the
nails last night; The American NJ
tional Bank is second, with a distribu-
ton OF $4,000 TO 5000 members on
Tuesday. The Church Hill hanks club
viii pay ont $4,000 10 100 members
and the West End Bank about $4,000
The payment ID" the Merchants Ma
tional will total approximately $4,000
but this bask conducts it's club merely
for the convenience OF some fe"
patrons.
All banks will continue their Chris
mas clubs next year. and there will Ot
several additional institutions in ;ht
ranks Of those featuring this innova
ton The clubs will he opened Deccm
her IL. payments 10 he made each week
for ifty weeks.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
Only One More Day
to Pay Poll Taxes
Persons Who Wish to Vote il.
Next Election Haze Short
Time 10 Qualify.
=. Poll taxes must be paid tomorrow

Poll taxes must be paid tomorrow.
IT citizens are to qualify TO rote in
the 1918 city elections. tho State cleo
ton laws requiring that taxes must be
paid SIX months prior Of election day.
Many citizens have already paid their
taxes. and have qualified TO participate
in the spring elections. yc, there are
hundreds that have not performed this
function.
The first election TO occur will be tho
regular election Of all members of The
Common Council and some OF the Board
OF Aldermen. which will DC held June
II. This will be preceded by the Demo-
cratic primary for those positions in
April. but voters mus, be qualified for
the regular election. IL they are TO
participate i'll the primary. Usually
only between 1900 and 1900 men paN.
their poll taxes, but there arc about
$4,000 adult white males in Richmond
1t is overlooked by many people tina,
the law now requires payment of pol,
taxes. whether man wishes 20 vote O.,
not. but under the Constitution col
lection is cnforciblc only after three
years have elapsed. Unusual interest
has been attached to the paymcn. of
poll taNcs this yea. because Of IN.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09

accord. as far a. H. Eucs. with modern
thinkinS. t1A-payinc people of Rich
Moud. ,hey believe, and Will provide
substantial imi rorcmenta at an early
date. which. preventing thorough
;conSidera Ion OF the entire matter.
should charter commission be
elected /. the future.
The association declares that the re-
cent action of the Council committee
was decidedly encouraging. and that II
viii Join with thousands Of good ci,i-
zens II congratulating this committee.
should 1t rtrommend changes that, Will
simplify our government and put Rich
mohds plan OF municipal management
on par with progressive principles
and ~ actice."
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
Concert Mt Soldiers. Home.

y concert will be given in Randolph
Hall at 3 o'clock this afternoon for
tho Veterans OF the r. y. zee Camp Sol
dier.' Home by the Fontainc Orchestra
OF eight pieces. The concert will take.
tho place Of the usual night .crvice in
the chapel
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
Gorgeous Fruit Baskets.

Corgeou, Fruit Baskets.
Imported Ha sl,e;s filled to over.
flowing. with the choicest and
most ncau:ifu! fruits-an artistic
sit; that is bound TO DC apprc-
ciatcd. SSEcts made up at all
prices. Delivered when wanted.
Extra Sheiicd rccan..
We offer az special i;om the
i!ncst paper shell, large Louisiana
Iccans--:crncthinE extra fancy
md attra ctive.
Rememher the Soldier Roy.
At Camp.
E. Satisfy his sweet tooth with
box of flnc candles. hoX Of
ciSars--or send him a Gordon
.Smithticid: Ham. cooked and ready
10 cat.
Hctter Order Now.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
Give Military Rail-.

The Richmond Blues Battalion Eir.
Einia State Volunteers. will give mill,
tary ball on Saturday. December %
at tho arnory. Funds realized from
tho sale of tickets will be used TO heir
defray tho cost OF cQuippin:, the BAT.
TALON. which now has q strength OF
about 100 men.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09

Imported and Domestic Fresh
Fruits.
Casaba Melons
Malaga Grapes
Indian River Oranges &..
Grapefruit and Tanscrincs
Anjou Pears
Choice Pears and Bosc' Pears
..OrGEop Apples x
Pipp!ns. Wincsaps and Lady %@
.ARpics .
Ponicaranatcs,. - ~
Imported Baskets &c Fresh
Fruits -. -.
Fresh rcrsimmons tf &
Cranbcrrics; ~ IS
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
l'ure Cnndics
For the I<iddies.

We have a largo variSty Of spe-
cially selected Candies for the
holidays--Hard Candies. Cnoco-
latcs, Nut Ccntcrs. ETC. sold by
the poundTput up in our OWN
boxes to your. order.
Popular Prices.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
administrative BOARD
s!RECOMMENDED TO CO
5GNic association Announces Definite
Policy for Reorganization OF = :
City Government. -..'.'' "','
PUT POWER IN MAYORS HANDS
Would Have Richmond's Executive
Vested With Authority to Appoint
and Remove Heads OF All Depart
- ments.

Directors OF the Civic Association
announced yesterday the definite policy
OF that organization at this time. and
the changes it believed necessary at
once to improve the city's govern
mental machine. They recommend the
abolition Of the Adm illustrative Board.
and the creation Of groups or divisions.
under which all departments now di-
rected by the board will be grouped
with their heads assisting the Mayor
in an advisory capacity.
Tho association believes that the
Administrative Board. without regard
TO its ersonnel Is at variance with
tho recognized principles Of municipal
government i'm our times, and Is no
longer sustained by an enlightened
public In Richmond" The association
thcn recommends. after the abolition OF
the board. the creation OF divisions
Under which the present departments
under the Administrative Board shall
tie grouped with such departments as
1t. may prove convenient aud wise 10
group them, the placing of those groups
under heads. who may De the heads Of
Some existing departments. and who
2hall assist the Mayor as an advisory
council.
WOULD HAVE MAYOR
- NAME DIVISION HEADS
THE appointment OF these heads
shall be by tho Mayor OF the city. who
shall have the power OF removing them.
and who shall supervise the work OF
stbe departments of the government. In
fosr Judgment. although some other
Eslmple pian-likc the city manager
iDlan recently adopted in Norfolk
yan iKh, be considered preferable should
Shc whole matter be later considered By
Ia charter commission. AID although
|1pauy detailed changes In the charter
|@m'g ht &c demanded in tho interest Of
sfconom-, efficiency and Icspons Utility,
;thc,ideas we have outlined are mini
I'm On OF changes which citizens might
Sna turElly expect at this time If tho
schartcr Change Committee makes pos
Ts!hlc the simplI.cations - government
10 the extent described. II will deserve
ithe commcndation and cooperation 0!
Fall good citizens
II Directors OF the association assert
sthat the recomme udations they made
Hiwouid not he what could be termed n
S'onc-.nan" government, aSalns, which
tmuch bias been said on tic floor of the
jC'i'y Council. They declare. II to be
Essimp!e. fixes responsibility. and is in
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09

the marriage Of their daughtcr. Euen.
to +. Graham Powell. OF North caro-
lima. I'm pIav:!l". rucsda: evening. At
the parsonage OF tho First Enotist
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
514 to SIG East Broad Street
Check This List for Your
Fruit CRkc

Fancy Ma laga Loose Eaisins
Sultana Eaisins. lib. cartons
Glacc Citron
Orange and Lemon Feel.
Spices. Figs and Dates
Snelled walnuts. Almonds and
Pccans
Capitalized Fruits
Home made Fruit Cakes
Homemade Mincemcat
Plum Pudding. /. .. and 4 ID
Sole agents for M"-ida,c Rut-
ter AMI for pccrfoot Farm
= Fresh Fork Sausage.
Thcsc articles are. In Il class
by themselves.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09
J'oNcit-Ni0ornln n.

PETERSBURG. VA December s.
Mr. and Mrs. s. J. Moorman arno-nc.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1917-12-09

Church. The ceremony wos persorhr.d
: ny ROY. }. 4. Hicks. pastor or the
church and Az Cid friend OF Inc bride
and her family. ~ -" ME-
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-01-25
WILSON AT CAPITOL
DESPITE CRITICISM

Washington. Jan. oi.--President Will
son made two visits to the capitol to-
day for conferences in spite of criti-
cism of his course voiced in the senate
yesterday by Senator Jones of Wash
inston and repeated freely in the
cloak rooms by other Republicans.
The senate remained in session while
the president was seeing callers in his
office, just outside the senate chamber.
The door Of the room was left open.
On previous visits the presidents
conferences have been devoted entirely
to parts of his legislative program.
but today he had appointments with
several men and women outside of
congress, including Mrs. William Chm
minis Story. presidents general OF the
y. \. r., frank p. Glass, vice presi-
dent Of the American Newspaper
Publishers association, and Mrs.