davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
DOES NEW YORK NEED YOU?

cannot be scared. The morning trains are bringing them in by the hundreds this very day-and all the printing presses in the world could not drive them back. But 1t Is said for the pur- pose of causing every small-town man with responsibilities to consider carefully before coming whether he has a definite aim in coming and whether he has faith and conviction that he really has some thing to give to the big town.
 Don't come just for the ride. Don't come except from positive choice Don't come just because others are coming. The best rule of all is this-if you have no definite, compelling reason within yourself to come, don't come until you are invited Do your job well at home. If the big town wants you she will call you. hundred telegrams went out from New York today to various and re- mote parts of the United States carrying offers of good jobs to smart chaps who have done so well that New York has heard of them. Only last week met young man from Massachusetts who had just been offered an $S0O0 a year place in New York. He said he hadn't the least idea how the thing started-exT cept that he had done work that had been brought to the attention of several New York bankers, one of whom had looked him up and then flashed him the offer of job.
 "So leave your name and address with the local operator and go back to your knitting. New York is not tongue-tied. If she needs you she'll wire. Of course, if you think you are a bowling genius you will probabiy take the first train for Broadway-and maybe 1t will be just as we'll for you to do so. A genius is just as unhappy one place as another. But, genius or no genius, there won't be any brass band to meet you at Grand Central station"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

You often hear a woman wishing that she were a man. But you never hear a man wishing that he was woman.
 The old-fashioned man who thought that the mile covered by Maud S. in 2:Os would never be equaled, now has a son who gets arrested for covering a mile in :0S.
 We are as good a patriot as anybody. But the lad who thinks that he has to cheer and applaud every time the Amer ican flag is displayed in a fillum in the movies always did make us sick.
 We don't blame the average bunch of cabaret performers for beating it hur- riedly through the crowd and past the tables when they are singing in a cafe. They might not be safe if they stood still while they were bowling.
 A husband is an animal who imagines that every receptacle in the house except the ash tray Is meant for cigar ashes.
 What doth 1t profit woman to wear a $5O00 diamond lavalliere at ball when she wears her dress so> low that man doesn't raise his eyes high enough to see the lavalliere?
 We expect that by this time the cham pion pingpong player who married the champion tiddledewinks player, has raised champion tennis player. or q good dancer
 We have always found that those who have to be teased to sing can't sing. The henpecked lad who has to take his pay envelope home to the wife without opening it may be afraid of the woman who owns his name, but he isn't afraid of the man who owns his house when rent day comes around. And what has become of the fellow who let bees sting him to cure his rheuma' tism? This would be a better world if re- former was as anxious to reform him self as he is to reform others.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Sid. in the American Magazine.

Sid. in the American Magazine.
 IB6 N N old friend called to ask my tA\ advice the other day. He came sS @ to New York from a little h. diana town. He has a wife and four with him kept picturing him where he
 belongs-back in the old home town. If he had stayed there he might have worked into a 5000 or s1200 job, which would have been sufficient to satisfy all his needs and most of his wants He could have had a garden, a yard, a sav- Iings bank account and membership in the local lodge. Evenings he could have set on his porch and held converse with his neighbors. On the Fourth of July he could have been some punkins' at
 the neighborhood picnic. He might have become village councilman, he could have been on the committee to welcome the congressman when that great per- sonage came to town in search of votes. In other words, he might have had a real place in the community.
 'Now what does he get in exchange for the 5000 or s12oo that he earns in New York? We'll, suppose he gets a measly little flat with dark bedrooms, a fine assortment of cheap lunches, two
 chances daily to hang by his eyelids in the subway, a great fund of loneliness and a woe-begone feeling of uselessness. That is the trouble with these whal- ing big cities like New York and Chi
 cago. They are all right for men of
 known ability-nen of force and ambi-
 ton who have learned how to direct their
 talents. But they are hard on untried
 men-men who have not yet found them
 selves. This Is not said for the purpose
 of soaring venturesome and unattached
 young fellows of ability who want to
 try their muscles on the big town. There is no danger of soaring them. They
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Couldn't Do Without IT

The Age-Herald is frequently called upon to criticize verse. Mrs Lena Rivers Woods of Troy has submitted clever little poem. entitled "A Warning" to the editor of this paper, asking for a criti- csm. In submitting the poem she says: T started to send it to Henry Edmonds, our York boy, or rather,~I should have said, pr. Henry M. Edmonds, Birming- hams beloved pastor, as you people seem to have completely monopolized him. But mercy I'd Just as we'll be hung as have him smile one of those disappearing smiles. Much rather would I have The Age-Herald editor say It Is no good
 ''J. r. Woods, my husband, has been a subscriber for The Age-HeraId at least 21 years, to my certain knowledge: and when the subscription runs out, I never let him have 8 moments peace until he renews again, as I feel like member of the family is dead when it does not come every day.
 May the editor of it live to a ripe old age and continue to give thousands, yes, millions the great pleasure which I have enjoyed perusng it's pages. And may the Sundays edition continue to ever grow better and better as it has within the past few years"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
LINES

LINES By Henry Van Dyke. These are the gifts I ask of thee, Spirit
 serene strength for the daily task; Courage to face the road; Good cheer to help me bear the tray-
 eler's load; And for tho hours of rest that coma h.-
 tween, An inward joy in all things heard and
 seen. These are the sins fain would have
 thee take away ND Malice and cold disdain Hot anger. sullen hate: Scorn of the lowly, envy of the grsat. And discontent that casts a shadow ,9ray On all the brightness of common dSy,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
THE BRITISH MANICURE LADY

Homer Croy, in Everybody's.
 In English barber shops you do not have to pay for mirrors. deliberately tiled floors and manicure girl. Over there manicurist is considered the last vo- cable in the way of smartness The mani cure girl hasn't the run of the shop there as she has here; she has little cage down in one corner where she Is bottled up as if she were rare liquid. When a man wants to have any light housework done on his hands, he thrusts one of them through the bars, while the proprietor hurries up with newspaper for him to read. In America we would be insulted if the owner of the shop put something into our hand to read while the manicure girl was working on us. In England the art of jollying the manicurist is un- known.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Likes New System

My experience with the consolidated circuit court system has been entirely satisfactory so far" said White Gib- son. "and I believe the new system will prove entirely satisfactory to everyone, court officials 1itigants, lawyers and the public generally, before the present term is out. Of course there are some mat ters of detail yet to be worked out, but with the experienced and efficient clerks who are systematizing the business of the court, working together to one end, name- ly, expediency and efficiency. I believe all the kinks will soon be smoothed away.
 ''As an example of the expediency of the new system, I went to the clerks office yesterday and took number of consent judgments. I had no trouble in finding them on the dockets under the new order of things and I accomplished in few minutes work what would have taken considerable time under the old methods"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
WHY NOT SWAT HIM,

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
 Another form of the double distilled essence of pest whose frame work above his shoulders is composed of reinforced concrete, is the omnipresent nuisance Who insists upon breasting the current of pedestrian traffic of crowded street on the wrong side of the pavement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
SENSITIVE CREATURES.

Some women have been married for years and don't know yet how to cook"
 That's true. And if anyone ventured to suggest that they spend few hours daily in the kitchen, they would imme- diately retire to a private sanitarium and indulge in complete collapse"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
QUITE A DIFFERENCE

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
 According to the attorney generals of- flee, it's still crime to steal dozen of eggs, but not to grab off the egg sup ply and make s1.oOoooo by ordering the public to throw up it's hands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
How to Pronounce
 a Few War Words

! WHEN the average as .n newspaper w paper Ntongue-twisting names from the En- ropean war zone, while perusing the latest dispatches, he usually blinks at it and passes on. The chances are that he has seen it before and it has some what the appearance of an old ac- quaintance, but as for trying to pro- nounce it, life is too short.
 The indefatigable New York Times but nearly all newspapers are inde- fatigable, for that matter-has com piled list of the proper names most often met with in the war news and indicated their proper pronunciation. The list is too long for publication in full, and the limitations of The Age Herald's linotype machines make it useless to print the French and Elem { ish words. Besides, the Times has not been particularly happy in it's phonetic spelling.
 \ Once learned, Bucharest is easy to rehember. It Is pronounced "Boo-kar- rest" with the accent on the last syl- liable. Cettinje is "Tzet-teen-yeh," the last two syllables being emphasized. Czech is "Check." Dantsic or Dant- zig is "Dantsik.". Durrazzo is Door rahd-zo" or "Doo-rah-so." Jassy is "Ya-see." Lutzk is 'Loodz," Minsk is ~Meenz," Sarajevo is "Ser-ra-jayvo" and Scutari is "Skoo-tah-ree," with the first syllable emphasized.
 Perhaps no name associated with the war has been more banded about by newspaper paragraphers than Przemysl, which to our western eyes looks like an photographic monstrosity and seems phonetically unfit for civil lized ears. It is pronounced-if you can manage it-"P-jhem-izzle," the Nj'' being sounded as in the French word -four" The accent falls on the second syllable, which seems able to stand any amount of punishment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
PROMISE EASILY KEPT.

Your honor, let me off this time and I'll never appear before you again." pleaded the culprit. "Am I to take this as promise to reform?'
 ''Yes, your honor. And I might add that am on my way to Australia. If should happen to bachslide, some other court would attend to my case"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

The dean of women at the University of Iowa ordered a picture of nude woman and child removed from an art ex- hibit A lecturer on art announced that he would take his class of men and women to see the picture. Trouble is brewing at that institution of learning.
 <: * *
 If the Germans are really holding An- bassador Gerard as hostage of war, it shows that they woefully misunderstood the spirit of the American people. Am bassador Won Bernstorff and other Ger mans are as safe in America as they would be anywhere in Germany.
 The numerous professional and semi professional aviators in the United States may soon have an opportunity to do some flying for Uncle Sam who will not, how ever, request them to loop the loop or do the spiral glide
 
 The Associated Press was unable to supply the initials of H. L. Mencken of Baltimore, one of the American corre- spondents in Germany. Yet, he Is one of the brightest and best known newspaper men of the United States. 5; i: <
 The r11sh of Earr0ops ap1 h,,.+ro YJ,,., garians to take out naturalization papers shows that they think more of Uncle Sam than they do of Emperor William and Emperor Charles.
 A
 northern writer pays a deserved tribute to the black "uncles," "aunties' and ''mammies" of the south. Nobody appreciates them as much as southern people do.
 As last resort, Great Britain may make an effort to root out' the German navy, movement that would be re- garded with great interest by Winston Churchill. citizen of Birmingham says he has been standing off the life insurance a gents for 15 years. but he is beginning to show signs of weakening. * Some of these master thieves photo graphed for newspapers look like pleas- ant fellows. Maybe that's due to the care-free lives they lead < # *
 Press agents take may liberties with the English language in their efforts to round up lot of tired business men to see girl show. It was Boston newspaper that mis- took Meroz for a person instead of a place. Even Boston doesn't know every- thing.
 Now that the cold weather has abated, Birmingham plumbers have chance to draw long breath and count up their profits.
 * * A man deserted his wife because she was too fat Evidently hasn't room in his heart for the extra avoirdupois. < < These are the days when the telegraph editor with a fondness for big. black headlines is enjoying himself. * * * At their present rate of progress the efficient Germans will soon compel John Bull to go to sea in tub. E When an excited patriot can't think of anything else to say he warns us to "sit steady in the boat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
REALISTIC TOUGH.

'In movie melodrama, when the vii- lain seizes the heroine, miss that thrill ing line, How dare your"
 Pay some attention to the drummer in the orchestra. He expresses the he- roine's emotions beautifully"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Leave 1t to the President

T am certainly glad that the campaign for state offices is not on in full swing at this time,' said M. E. Morris, who has announced for state auditor "Of course the real work for votes will not begin for some months yet, but even If the state primary were only month off, it would be mighty hard now to get the attention of the voters.
 The minds of the people appear to be entirely centered on international questions. The possibility of war with Germany has overshadowed everything else and this situation bids fair to con- tinue as long as the relations are as strained as at the present time. I hope that we will be able to avoid declara- tlon of war. for despite the fact that there is little possibility of the United States being called into the worst of the European war on land, conflict would still be rather serious.
 However, I am like the great majority of people in the country-I am willing to leave it to President Wilson. He has demonstrated that he is amply able to take care of any situation which may arise l am certain that American honor will be protected and at the same time there will be no war if it is possible to avoid it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
MUCH WORSE.

MUCH WORSE.
 ''No doubt you have often been wearied by two men bragging about the merits of their respective timepieces?" "oh. yes. That's a common failing, I believe"
 But my sense of ennui at a time like that Is as nothing compared to the way feel when one of my neighbors begins to boast about the amount of heat given out by his marvellous furnace from a single shovelfull of coal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Eardlimg Discusses Practical Questions

wv the federal reserve board and an accepted authority on agricul- tural conditions in the south, and es- pecially cotton, discusses questions of vital interest in a letter to the Cas- tonia, N. C., Chamber of Commerce, published in The Age-Herald yester- day. Incidentally he points out the great value of the reserve system, "which has enabled the country to withstand without the slightest finan- cial tremor all the shocks and sensa- tions that it has experienced during the past two years, many of which would, doubtless, under old conditions have been followed by serious conse- quences."
 A strong advocate of crop diversifi- cation MT. Harding has never encour- aged the idea of cutting out cotton as the south's great staple; but like all true economists he stresses the inn sportance of intensive culture-five acres to the blow in some instances, and ten in others. He says that under present conditions it is hardly prob- able that an excessive supply of cot ton can be produced.
 If MT. Harding's advice is followed 1.-the growing of larger food crops X along with an adequate cotton crop he south will be on the road to great wealth this year. The floods and the sJ
 Z ravages of the boil weevil last sum- snsr reduced Alabama's cotton crop to han half of normal; but with
 le weather conditions this
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

BEGINNING THE DAY---O Lord, my God, put new song into my mouth! May my joy and my praise spring into music! And may the oid song be insufficient. May the new things which I find in my God call every day for new, new sons' In Christ's name. Amen.-H M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
SURE.

When woman does herself bedight,
 Somehow, 1t always seems to me, Although we men say she's sight,
 We mean the kind that's good to see.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
oLDsTERs TO THE FRONT.

oLDsTERs TO THE FRONT. To learn the latest dances
 The hoary heads aspire; They take all kinds of chances
 And never seem to tire. The cabarets frequenting,
 The gayest persons there; No afternoon repenting.
 But with a festive air, Each night sees them returning,
 With ardor to the quest; Their age there's no discerning They trip 1t with the best What keeps them lightly prancing? That's something no one knows: The music starts for dancing
 Away srandpopper goes
 PRINCIPAL CONTENTS. Lend me something to read" With pleasure. What do you want history, philosophy, fiction or poetry?' "oh, nothing heavy. Just lend me one # the late magazines and I'll read ad-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
ONE NOT NEEDEn

From the Anniston Star.
 Perhaps if war is declared it will be an incentive for Birmingham to get on the Warrior.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
BADLY FOOLED.

'Is that strong-minded Mrs. Grippits the sort of woman who knows where her husband is every hour of the day?"
 'No. Mrs, Grippits merely thinks she is that. sort of woman"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Milieary o. Peace
 Footing and War

WITT threatened war recruiting
 w for army and navy speeds up, but on peace footing men are slow to enlist The standard for enlistment is high and in a prosperous country like this a man who is good enough for army or navy service is capable of earning far better wages than Uncle Sam pays, although our sol- diers and sailors are better paid than those of any nation in the world.
 Before this governments break with Germany interest in the regular army had relaxed. Universal training and service was advocated by officers of the army and by few civilians, but even President Wilson was emphatic in saying he would not incorporate such a measure in his legislative pro- pramme. That was three weeks ago.
 Today military preparedness is hav- ing fresh impetus. Senator Cham berlain and other champions of com pulsory training have a stronger fol- lowing than they have ever had. The plan proposed is not militaristic in the European sense, because young men are expected to serve only a year-maybe only six months-with the colors and then pass into the re- serves. With such system the United States would have in time great body of soldiers, with maximum of efficiency at a minimum of cost.
 Patriotism has always been domi- nant in America.s When trouble is ahead men are quick to respond to call for volunteers. But to make real soldiers of the militia requires time. During the crisis a practical plan for meeting emergencies may be evolved. * *
 The fact thataMrs. visconti is said to know some lively gossip about Washing ton life has whetted the curiosity of scan- dal mongers from Maine to California and from the great lakes to the gulf. * l.
 There are still a few old-fashioned women who keep their hands busy with fancy work, but nowadays the tendency is to visit tango parlor and do fancy work with ones feet.
 * < *
 Whenever she thinks about those pes- tiferous U-boats Switzerland is probably glad that she has no navy to put in jeopardy.
 
 If MT. Bryan ever felt lonely in his life, he probably feels that way now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
PROGRESS.

Some years ago the motor car
 Was slightly held as just a freak; By jove, since then it's travelled far And now kills dozens every week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
Ready for "Play Ball'

''I am eager for the baseball season to start said Scott Chesnutt, we'll known umpire, yesterday. T have talked base ball throughout the winter and I believe I have played at least four seasons in that short space of time. Now with all of the preliminary training talk, I am more anxious than ever to get back at my old trade.
 q thought would quit baseball at the conclusion of the last season. but I changed my mind. I tried the travelling salesman game, but 1t can't touch the game am accustomed to. I hope to se- cure a berth as umpire in some leage in the south, chiefely because want to be near home.
 Baseball is a great game and the com- ing season will be- one of great success. Within another two weeks the training camps will be in full swing and then we'll have something to talk about-the real stuff, mean"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10
HOTEL LOBBIES
A Favorable Impression

My first impression of Birming
 ham has been favorable one," said Lytton Campbell of Chattanooga, who has come to Birmingham as manager of the office of the Buster Brown Hosiery Mills company. Tt certainly does seem to be a wide-awake city.
 All of the machinery for the stock ing factory that is to be started here has arrived and within two weeks we will be ready for operation. While the present mill will be a nice sized proJ- ect, if this Is a suctess 1t will be en- larged and more capital placed in it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

state should get back to a 1,2O0,0O0 or 1,4OO, ,0O0-bale crop this year in spite of the weevil.
 There is every reason to expect fair prices for the next cotton crop, and with continued progress in live stock husbandry and with new high rec ord in corn production the outlook for the farmer in 1917 is exceptionally bright.
 Reverting to diversification, MT. Harding, in concluding his remarks, says: No state can prosper if it's farmers devote their energies to the cultivation of single crop, be it cot ton or be it grain or hay. < In my opinion the greatest service that the farmers of the south can render their section, their country and the world in general is to coax from the soil during the year 1917 as great an abundance as possible of crops of all kinds"
 MT. Harding's letter to the Gastonia Chamb, Nof Commerce should be printed Namphlet form and dis tributed 1 dcast throughout the cotton belt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

Whenever she thinks about those pes tiferous U-boats Switzerland is probably glad that she has no navy to put in jeopardy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

The numerous professional and semi professional aviators in the United States may soon have an opportunity to do some flying for Uncle Sam who will not, how ever, request them to loop the loop or do the spiral glide.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-02-10

If MT. Bryan ever felt lonely in his life. he probably feels that way now.