The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-11-15
farmer SMITHS
BITTER LESSON
Christmas Mall Order Ship
ment Proves Nightmare.
BARGAINS" ARE A DELUSlOM

After UnpaeI,ing Goods. Quickly Goes
TO Home Town Store, Sees What He
Buys and Makes Vow Never Again
10 Patronixs Catalogue House--No
More Wonder Book STUFF.
tcopyriEhtod. 1914. by Thomas J. suillvanl
Experience n the name men give
their follies aud their sorrOws. IL Is
tho successive dlsenchantmont OF the
things OF llfe.
IL IN reason enriched by the spoils OF
tho heart. Al least that IL Smiths in.
terprctation OF experience
pisanreeabie Brand OF Wetness.
One December Il happened that the
weather mnn seemed to consplro with
the mail order man. lie turned out
dlsagreeable brand OF wetness that flll.
cd the farmers with n dlstaste for the
/ "open road" that David Grayson 30
optimistlcally praises ia all seasons.
But All farmers are not optimistic,
like David.
Farmer smith liked the comfort OF
his sheltered home. so be naturally
was attracted by an Invitation from
the mail order house 10 sit down I'm
an easy chnlr before the IRE aud select
his Christmas supplies from the pages
OF wonder book left at his front gate
by the II. u. ID. man.
Wonder Book Solves Problem.
The idea seemed mighty attractive
and comfortable lie thought no might
as we'll experiment once anyway.
SO he and his wife had a nice time
nlling out the yellow order slip accord
ing 90 their needs ana revenue.
Then they sent Il on its way 20 the
firm which promised them thrilling bar
gains In all lines OF merchandise from
pins 70 palaces.
The smiths had made one trip TO
town. The day had been characterized
by haste, hunger aud worry. They
hadn't had time 20 buy what they
wanted.
SO the catalogue seemed 10 solve the
problem for them. IL seemed as II II
were going 20 save them lots OF ume
energy, money and brain fag
Shipment Arrives
IL was a beautiful pre-christmai
dream made up In -four measures OF
comfort, confidence. curiosity and hope
The awakening came afterward. IKE
wise the disillusionment
} Their shipment arrived two days be
fore Christmas. This was very reas
surfing. But II necessltated specin
drive OF nine miles 10 the nearest ex
press Office.
The @. o. ID. express charges wer'
unexpectedly high. The first inhma
. ton 0f a mistake came with the real
ization that the express charges ex
eeeded the difference In price betweei
home store aud catalogue house art
cles.
Trafic had been congested ana th
massage rough. Damage was visible
smith hoped II wasn't serious. but h
took his stun home with unpleasant
. forebodings. ana that night when ID
. family was asleep he ana his VII
. opened the package IA the kitchen
. Caused Smith TO Swear.
There was a lot OF excelsior 20 VI
pack, but when the work was done an
the contents stood revealed there was
verbal fireworks display on the part
smith. who forgot for the moment tina
. he was a deacon In the church. an
. Mrs. Smiths tears were bitter.
. The parior lamp was scream II
embellishments were hyid enough
4. light a colOred Baptist church witbo'
the aid OF acetyiene.
The handcraft Battenberg looked
n IL had been made on a sweatsho
machine intended for ogeralls. III
guaranteed pure wool oyercoat assu
ed them az glance how thorough
they had been feeced
. Passing az the balance OF the "a
legged bargains" the baby's stockii
was the piece DE resistance OF the
Christmas feast II WAS tnrlatan a
Al fair. decorated with green and n
sarn tassels ana Oiled with Junk th
snied the discard OF one eel