davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The courier-index., 1917-11-02
SPECIAL KENTUCKY COURSE

A keen eyed mountaineer led his
overgrown son into a country school
house. This here boys arter lar.
nin," he announced. What's yer
bill o fare?"
Our curriculum, sir" corrected
the schoolmaster, embraces geo.
graphy, arithmetic, trigonometry-"
"Thatll do" interrupted the father
'sThat'll do. Load him up well with
triggernometry. He's the only poor
shot in the family. Peoples Home
Journal.
The courier-index., 1917-11-02
SHERMAN SAID IT

What are these?"
"War biscuits. What about emf"
"Sherman said it. That's all
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The courier-index., 1917-11-02
HEROIC HUNS
Young Otto Wolff of Germany
Is trnlY doing finet

For, 10. he has quite recently
Killed Baby Forty-nine!
The Fatherland is not surprized
That Heinie Schultz's bosom SWELL
With pride, for all have been advises
He's poisoned twenty-seven wells
Life
The courier-index., 1917-11-02

Won Tirpitz says it is unwise to
set date for the collapse of England
as a result of U-boat warfare, for
political reasons" The principal po-
litical reason is that the majority OF
the world is determined there shall
be no collapse.
The courier-index., 1917-11-02

Since it has become known that
Won Bernstorff asked his govern
ment for $4,000 to Influence Con-
gress." many members of that body
are wondering if that really was
Von's estimate OF their price.
The courier-index., 1917-11-02

We all admit that half loaf is
better than no bread but there isn't
darn bit of enthusiasm in the adj
mission.
The courier-index., 1917-11-02

waa ~ proportion Of two MAJ az fronts
os'efn 'front.' to,.ssA. on the The" as "a the
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

=" I wonder how Jake Preus's s
shoes would fit my feeti" quer-
led Odin Halden to himself, as
he sat in the Spiders Den and
gazed thoughtfully at his
brogues.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

AS has been the case most of
the winter and for many months
before, County Auditor Hahen
could not be found around the
marble-lined courthouse last Mon
day morning. He had hidden
himself.
Many who sought him did so
through personal appointments.
Those appointments were made
both with and by royal sanction.
His vassals expected him to be at
least in the throne room. One
elderly gentleman came all the
way from New independence
township. He came by appoint
ment. He always has been a loyal
Halden man. He went away with
a bad taste in his mouth. Others
were just as badly disappointed
or put out and their number was
not few.
AS usual, King Odin's servitors
could not tell where he was or
when he would be back to his cas-
tle-like courthouse. There the
voters and taxpayers stood, loll-
ing around the outer office and
the halls, like a lot of Johnnies at
the stage entrance Of a theater,
waiting for a popular actress.
The poor, neglected public fully
expected that they could catch
sight Of their servant, the King,
after the legislature adjourned.
Where he was, no one knows.
He may have been very i'll at
home; he may have been up in
the Wolvin building, carrying the
latest war news from Adams Of
fee to Olcott's office and then
back to WINDOWS bailiwick. Or
he may have shot down to St.
Paul for a bit of cabaret Sunday
night. No one knew definitely.
Loud complaints are made by
men Of high degree and men of
low degree as to the extreme diff
ficulty in getting personal audi
ence with County Auditor Hal
den. 1t is stated that Clerk of
the Court johnson, Treasurer
Vivian, Register Of Deeds CALI
gan, especially County Surveyor
Anderson and even Sheriff Mein-
ing and County Superintendent
of Schools Young, whose duties
take them abroad, can be found
at their desks in office hours,
where one can interview them or
take shot at them, as may be
desired.
Let a man come from some re-
mote rural region fifty miles from
the courthouse and ask to see
Halden. A deputy takes the name
and learns the business if posi-
BILE. Then he fox-foots back to
the Spiders Den to report. If
the interview is inconvenient or
likely to be unpleasant to his
royal highness, the deputy is in
structed to report that County
Auditor Halden is not I'M and that
no one knows when he will be in.
Then, if the visitor is suspicious
or has actual knowledge that the
auditor really is in and pounds
vigorously on the hall door of the
secret retreat, no attention is paid
to the pounding, no matter how
much it may make throbbing
brow ache and jump.
More than once, Auditor Halden
has been reported as very i'll at
home when, in reality, he was in
st. Paul, listening to the cabaret
songs at the expensive hotel st.
Paul.
Recently, a farmer from Cotton
called several times to see his
servant personally. Other SER
wants did not know whether the
king Of the courthouse was at
home, down town or out of town.
Finally. by some good luck, the
persistent granger bumped into
the auditor in the hall and man.
aged to get his personal inter-
view.
That Spiders Den is a very
Il
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05
MANY COURTHOUSE CALLERS CANNOT
FIND THE COUNTY AUDITOR.

Farmer Harris Profitably Pulls Some stumps-An-
other Farmer Cuts Much Hay from Damaged
,MeadoW-COmplacen Commissioner Reads Not
What He Signs-Big Batch of Boards Never
Reaches the Harris Highway-Road Foreman
Practices High Finance-Carelessness Causes
Tractor Cylinder to Burst.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

49,. ,-'
most consistent sports in Duluth
informs the Rip-saw that he re-
Gently tore off a lot Of ragtime
music on her piano.
The FOUNDERS report that
there's a "classy place" at
Fourth avenue E. with a goodly
number of lady occupants. There
are hotels too numerous to men
ton where no questions are
asked. There's no need to enum-
crate. The Rip-saw is not a di-
rectory for blind pigs and red
light joints. Any decent patrol
man can give the higher-ups a
complete list. The. foregoing are
but illustrations. .
"Rasty" Wright dare not come
back to Duluth. If he does, a
bench warrant will be issued for
him. -
The foregoing was a boasting
remark made by chief McKer-
cher a few weeks ago. "Rasty"
Wright, a professor in the Col
lege for Games of Chance, had
been arrested, released on $100
bail and then had jumped to
Superior to avoid trial.
Under the Troyer regime, jolly
old "Rasty" was kept on the
jump. He even served a few
months at hard labor at the
workfarm. His face and form
were persona non grata to the
authorities. -.
After Troyer went out, "Ras-
ty" came in. He started up a
night school on Michigan street
where he taught suckers the
merits or demerits Of royal
flush, bobtail flush, the differ
ence between three of a kind and
two pair. He gave object les
sons in how to use the "Indiau
face" when bluffing on a ten
spot. Then he got pulled, per-
haps through some bungle, and
declared a vacation.
Jolly old "Rasty" is back in
Duluth. He is in danger of no
bench warrant because no formal
complaint ever was made against
him. Bench warrants are issued
only when a man does not appear
in reply to a formal charge.
If chief McKercher still be-
lieves that Professor Wright
dare not show up, in Duluth, he
is respectfully referred to the
hotel lobbies. restaurants and the
old night school rooms on Mich
igan St.-the chief knows where.
If the police authorities really
want jolly old "Rasty' and can
not find him, the Rip-saw's chief
detective will undertake to- pro-
duce his manly corpus and even
his fox terrier.
Nothing doing, Of course.
Commissioner Silberstein ap-
parently finds trouble with the
pool rooms. If he believes that
too many boys frequent them, a
quiet word to his patrolmen will
bring results.
Commissioner Silberstein re-
Gently said something about clos
ing up saloons that sell booze to
the soldiers. It's almost scan
dial the way some Of the soldiers
lick up red liquor. It's an insult
to the uniform and the flag to
see a drunken soldier wrangling
or staggering on the street. Civ
ilians wonder why they cannot
do their boozing at their bar
racks. To date, not saloon has
been closed or disciplined for
making the heroes drunk.
Chief Troyer built up an eff
cient force Of honest policemen.
Many of those men are yet on the
force. They declare that they
are likely to be disciplined It
they do their full duty. The Rip
saw is informed that the officer
who pulled the millionaires IN
Madam Wallace's place some
weeks ago was taken off his
downtown beat and banished to
beat in the bushes.
These patrolmen know all the
blind pigs, bawdy places, gam
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05
CHRISTINE'S GARDEN OF DELIGHT BOOMS
BUSINESS FOR BREWERY.

Powerful Public Demands Moral Spring Cleaning
for Dulutll-Madam Wallace Still Conducts Her
Satanic Salon in Hotel Brunswick Jolly Old
'Rasty" Wright Resumes His Glasses I'm His
College of Chance on Michigan Street-POOl
Rooms and Staggering Soldiers Problems for the
Police. * ...-s..~.>.. . -. & -.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

cannot reach it even by telephone
if the telephone girl has instruc-
tions to the contrary. And even
if the royal ear is open to tele-
phonic messages, she is not ex-
| pected to connect the inquirer if
she is not pretty well assured that
the connection will be. persona
grata to his royal highness.
That Spiders Den is the very
heart Of St. Louis county poll
tics. More plotting than audit
ing is done there, if all tales are
| true. The real center OF govern
ment for. the G. O. p. of St. Louis
county is in that Spiders Den
instead of Lee Willcut's office
in the First National Bank build
ing.
There are two entrances to the
Spiders Den. One is from the
hallway and the other from the
main office Of the auditor,
through the big vault. No Swiss
guards are maintained but there
are double locks on the doors.
One is the regular. but very per-
feet lock, provided for all the
courthouse DOORS, The second
lock is a special Yale design. Of
the three keys to- these Yale
locks, King Odin carries one,
chief deputy auditor Walker
carries another and the chief en-
| gineer of the courthouse, a faith
full vassaI Of his majesty, carries
the third.
This little story illustrates how
Konge Odin, when weary with
affairs of state and desirious of
rest and quiet, can conceal and
lock himself away, either from
peasant or plutocrat.
County Auditor Halden is the
| only public servant in the county
who can successfully evade his
masters, the taxpayers and
voters.
A stockholder in the marble
lined courthouse-a meek and
lowly taxpayer-with hat in
hand, was transacting business
with auditor, Halden via the per-
son Of Deputy j. 0. Walker.
In walked q member of the
board of county commissioners.
"Where are those papers I've
got to sign?"/ he queried in a
hasty tone Of voice.
Deputy Walker pointed to a
pile of documents on a nearby
table.
The county commissioner hast
lily, very perfunctorily and with
out the slightest interest in what
he was signing, stuck his John
Hancock on the dotted lines and
then made his exit with speed.
He failed to remember the old
behest, Carefully read what you
sign" He could not take oath
as to what he actually had
signed. He never looked at the
titles Of the papers, to say moth
ing of their contents. It was
nearly as bad as if the cashier
+! Of the First National Bank
signed cashiers check in blank
aud then handed it to some one
to fill in for any sum desired.
This little incident, dear tax
payer, shows how a county COM
missioner can be careless and un-
mindful as to how he transacts
business for his masters-the
people.
Once upon a time, a former
commissioner and auditor Halden
paid a royal visit to Northland
township. They were entertained
in the home Of Charles Harris.
AS a matter Of courtesy and
royal favor, the good Harris was
given a contract to pull stumps
| from some road right,of-way to
the extent of $125. Soon after
the royal visit, farmer Harris
made, out a bill for pulling 1925
worth Of stumps and then made
oath before Justice Of the Peace
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05
SAWDUST
AND
SHAVINGS

OHAVuN1S
When Col. Weiss is away, Lit
tie Tammany always is in danger
Of losing an intrenchment in the
city hall.
"It is to laugh, smokers
commissioner Farrell every time
he hears city hall civil service
mentioned.
Those chaps who are boarding
eggs and potatoes in Chicago
should be made to eat 'em, skins,
shells and all.
What's the sense in paying
$4,000 year to a county sur
veyor who surveys nothing but
his salary check?
In these troublous times, CON-
missioner Voss's most perplexing
problem is, "How will that af-
feet me politically?"
Walter Gonska now knows
something as to how Daniel felt
when the heather dropped him
down into the lion s den.
That "Silberstem prestige"
may be bit dented but it is
still in the ring and able to put
in q punch now and then.
"Don't hit me with that
brutal club!' exclaims commits
sioner Silberstein every time any
one says "recall" in his pres
ence.
John E. Samuelson,s alleged
city attorney, must have some
idea as to how old Damocles felt
with that whopping big sword
hanging over his head. -.
Representative Anton Bergen
setms very happy over getting
home alive. He reports that he
had some fierce tussles down in
the halls Of state legislation.
The man who muzzleth not the
OK when he treadeth the Mas
ter's corn, also gives his en-
ployes a raise in salary, unasked,
in such troublous TINS as these.
As previusly stated, the. Rip
saw advocates scrubbing out the
courthouse only where it is
dirty. Clean offices and cor
ners need no waste of good soap
and water.
Let Is gladly join hsnds with
good brother Hartley in secur-
ing public ownership Of the In
terstate bridge and a Scent fare
between Duluth and Superior
a distance about half that be,
tween central Duluth and Nor
gan Park.
Walter Gonska was a Chris
tian and the safety commits
sioner threw him to the lions. To
make a Roman holiday COM
plete, Chief McKercher now
should toss Dorothy Hill into
the arena, as the Christian Maiden.
The boys who have had oc-
casion to interview Mr.. Acton,
st. Louis county's imported
50, 500 county road engineer, de-
clare that he has every indica-
tlon OF being as smooth as monu-
! mental alabaster.
Representative Bessette states
that he got through ten Of the
bills in which he was most
closely concerned. That's a
mighty good record. Mr.. Bes-
sette undoubtedly is a man with
future, not a blasted past.
If there was an universal s.
cent trolley fare between Du-
luth and Superior, many of the
booze dealers, gamblers and red
light ladies Low about to infest
Superior undoubtedly would
come to Duluth to spend their
tainted money.
If Commissiner Farrell cannot
redeem all his campaign prom
ises of two years ago, let him
join hands with G.. G.. Hartley
Al n..1-AI
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

On still another occasion up
there in Northland township,
there was "a movement on to
create labor for idle citizens by
running goodly drainage ditch
from Three Lakes to, Cloquet
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

Environment has much to do
with our moral and physical
health. A full-time health officer
should be accompanied by a full
time effort to keep Duluth Morally
clean.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

Public LibSry
Iaullna. Minn.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

Business concerns In Central
Duluth get the exclusive benefit
of all transient trade. They
should not begrudge New Duluth
any advantage from the trolley
line extension on any terms.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

If Commissiner Farrell cannot
redeem all his campaign prom
ises of two years ago, let him
join hands with G.. G.. Hartley
and the Duluth Herald in get
ting a Scent fare from Mime
sofa Point to the banking GEN.
ters Of Duluth-about three
mucS. !,
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

If there was an universal s.
cent trolley fare between Du-
luth and Superior, many of the
booze dealers, gamblers and red
light ladies Low about to infest
Superior undoubtedly would
come to Duluth to spend their
tainted money.
The Duluth rip-saw. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1917-19??, 1917-05-05

That Spiders Den is q very
secret and inaccessible place. You
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
4 MOVE IN THE
RIGHT DIRECTION

For the past several years efforts
have been made to cultivate the lands
of eastern Nevada by dry farming
methods. With few exceptions fail
ure has been the result, and it is now
generally conceded that the rainfall
of this section is too light for inten-
sive farming.
Several months ago the Western
Pacific railroad organized a coloni-
zation department. In looking over
the situation, they exclaimed "Water!"
and with characteristic energy went
to work developing the water re-
sources of the country.
And now comes the Southern Pa
ciic, with its immense land holdings
in Nevada, and states to the world
at large that what is needed is water,
after having experimental for many
years with dry farming"
1t has been demonstrated in Hum
boldt county that sufficient water may
be pumped from wells to raise crops.
The great drawback heretofore has
been the fact that the ordinary set
tier lacked funds to properly clear
and equip a tract of land and live I'M
til a crop could be secured. However,
if the two great transcontinental
lines running through Nevada are
prepared to advance the necessary
capital, extending payments over a
term of years that can be met by
the settler, the problem would seem
to have been solved, and Nevada may
look for a speedy settlement of its
immcnse tracts of fertile lands.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
BUREAUCRACY

The reduction in the price of BIZ
luminous coal-of i~ncalculable value
to manufacturers and railroads. TO
be followed by a reduction in the
price of anthracite-of equal value to
householders. And both these bene-
fits were secured. be it remembered.
without the enactment of n statute
and without recourse to any power
of government. They were secured
by an appeal to the reason and the
patriotism of the coal operators. Sim
liar action in other lines would doubt
less produce similar results. But that.
of course, would not create any Off
ces, which would not enable the Pres
ident to put authority into the hands
of deserving Democrats, would not
permit the expenditure of a lot Of
money.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
When You Have a Cold.

1t is quite true that many persons do
not consider a cold as a serious matter,
but, on the other hand, there are many
persons who are too easily scared by
the common ailment. There are some
things which should be tried at home
to see If some relief cannot be gained.
Frequently a cold is developed because
of the systems need Of rest, therefore,
it is obvious that rest will do much to
drive the uncomfortable condition
away. The next important step in the
campaign is to keep the system cleaned
out. Drinking plenty of water and
breathing in inches Of pure, fresh air
are also quite essential. Since colds
are contagious, n cannot be too care
full. In place of handkerchiefs one
should use squares of soft muslin or
cheeseclOth, which can be burnt after
being used.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
AGENT GOOD BUSINESS MAN
Indianian Credited With Deal That for
Its -shrewdness Would Be
Hard to Beat.

Last summer I'm q suburban town,
when a circus was billed for the city,
the bMposters came. to cover the dead
walls with the tlaring announcements.
Near the railway station was a build
ing that had it's walls annually deco
rated. The station agent, who was in
no way related to the owner OF the
building. saw the walls being deco
rated, near the station, and thus ac-
costed the billposter:
Does pa know you're putting up
them bills heref'
why. no, l didn't think there'd be
any trouble"
Il know" the agent replied, but 1
don't think pad like this"
The Snowman handed him a ticket
for the circus.
"Wen, l don't know about this" said
the agent. "If you didn't ask pa, l
don't know whether you'd better do
this or not"
The blIposter gave him another
ticket.
won't that fix it?'
"WeH," replied the agent, spas awful
particular, but l guess l can fix it
The owner of the building later
heard the story, and going to the agent
demanded the tickets, explaining that
the building belonged to him. The
agent declared that IF the building
does belong to you, it was my idea,
wasn't itY' This apparently settled
the matter. as the agents little girl
ate peanuts at that circus and watched
with wondering eyes the different acts,
and she was accompanied by her IA
ther.-Indianapolis News.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
SAVING DEMOCRACY

The New York World was among
the metropolitan newspapers which
made outery against the prohibition
amendment to the food-control bill
and it treated the subject with ex-
ceeding f~rankness. To adopt prohi-
bition, argued the World, would split
the Democratic party in a division
as fierce as that occasioned by slav-
cry; and the Southern Democrats,
in consequence, would find them
selves "in exclusion from power at
Washington"
Here was argumentum ad hom1-
men,, couched in terms which even
the most obtuse of Southern Demo-
Gratis could understand. 1t may even
have reached the White House; for
on the very day that this solemn
warning appeared in the World the
President summoned a quartette of
Democratic Senators into conference
and took action to retain beer and
wine among the personal liberties"
that the World had declared were
always the sacred charge of the Dem
ocratic party.
The skill of the Democratic leaders
in turning a moral issue to partisan
effect has had frequent demonstration
of late. He kept us out of war
and was reelected. He got us into
war to make the world safe for
democracy"-and took into his hands
the most %stupendous political power
the civilized world has ever known.
He bans whisky, which is chiefly
made in Kentucky, where the Demo-
cratic party has no fears and be
would retain the manufacture of beer
and wines in states where the Demo-
Gratis require extraneous aid to give
them a majority. According to the
New York Worlds reasoning. how
ever, the Democratic party avoids a
split like that occasioned by slav-
cry" and in addition the language is
enriched-for we understand that a
man in New York who used to ask
the ~barkeeper for "a tub of suds,"
o demands "a Woodie" for the
shaking of his thirst.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12

Our Cousin Joe has no confidence
In anybody except strangers. If his
W brother were in the jewelry bust
ness Joe wouldn't buy a pin or a lodge
emblem from him. If he needed any
thing Of the kind he would purchase it
from some perfectly reliable fellow
that he had never seen before and
never expected to see again. If a good
substantial citizen that Joe has known
for 20 years should try to almost give
him a lot on n Of the best streets of
the town Joe would laugh at him.
None of you sharpers a trick me-"
Joe would say, and then he would buy
a lot in the Rocky mountains from
someone he had never seen or heard
OF before.-Claude Callan in the Fort
Worth Star-Telegram.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1917-07-12
WHEN HE

The Minister - Trust in God and
keep your powder dry.
His Doting Mother wonder how
long before he'll be a general.
His Militant Father-Bully for him!
His Pacifst Uncle-Dear me! Dear.
dear met
His Proud Aunt-He gets his brave
spirit from our side of the family.
His Little Brother-Geei / wish |
could go.
His Little Sister, wish l had .
dress like that uniform.
His Chum-I hope he pays me that
five bucks before he goes.
His Best Girl-Isn't he grand!
His Girls Chum oh, you must
give me a military button for my col
lection.
Their Next Door Neighbour sup
pose they'll be more stuck up than
ever now.
Drill Sergeant - Oh, Gawd!- IJas.
Gabelle, in Life.