Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-12-31
The Daily
Short Story
now Europe WAS MADE SAFE
FOR ROYALTY,
BY Oscar Cox.

There was once principality some
whore In Europe-the censor has taken
the principal points out of this story
whose territory consists of only a..
few square miles. The prince being
of the royal blood and an associate nm
equal terms with the other soyereisns
of Europe. was required to keep I'm
their style, though he did It on an in
finitely small scale. He had one gen.
eral, one Judge. one executioner. His
army consisted of hundred men di-
vided into 10 companies consisting of
10 men to company. Everything else
was on a proportionate scale. But the
general, except when on duty. was
butcher; the Judge the only policeman
in the principality, and the soldiers
were laborers. The executioner was
the parson officiating over the little
church 20 by 80 feet in area, one-third
OF which Is taken up by the royal Dew.
The parson was meek little man .n-
competent TO decapitate chicken.
All worked well In thu princivs nv
for many years. There were 10 Grim.
| inals to try, or TO punish; the prince
spent his time visiting his royal rels-
tives, SO that his living was provided
for, and the people. who were taxed
only to provide for the royal pocket
money, were happy.
| Then suddenly came trouble. The
general Of the army was caught in the
act of treason. A neighboring king.
whose territory consisted OF many
millions of square miles, wantsd the
principally for a pasture for bis cows,
and bribed the general of the prince
] for a consideration to let down the
bars of the fence 'inclosing the prince
ly territory, and admit the kings army
without resistance on the part Of the
princes forces. The plot being dis
covered in time. the other European
sovereigns frowned upon it and stop
ped it. Had it been carried through
they would have held conference.
and in order that the peace OF Europe
might not be disturbed, would have
winked at it. AS it was, the only ac-
ton required WAS to try the general
| for high treason and cut off his head.
But the Judge, who, il has been said.
was only policeman, knew nothing
about law and was incapable of con-
Quoting trial. The prince got over
the difficulty by ordering trial be-
hind closed doors; and when they
were opened a warrant was produced
by which the general was condemned
to death. It was taken to the prince,
who signed 1t. and the pen with which
he affixed his royal signature was sent
to the sovereign Of the most powerful
empire as q token that imperialism
was absolute in the principally.
/ It remained now only 10 carry out
the sentence by beheading the gen
eral. A meeting of the privy council
was held, at which it was unanimously
agreed that the executioner could not
be relied upon to carry out the SEN
tence and the members deliberated
on what was to be done in the prem
ises. One suggested that the general.
being butcher. was far better fitted
to cut off his own head than the execu-
toner, who was a parson. Where
upon another member suggested that
the two be surreptitiously made TO
change places and the butcher be made
TO cut off the head of the parson This
would satisfy the powers
But the prince, who was a just SOW
ereign, would not hear of such a ne
farious deed. and dismissed the eoun-
Gil, saying that he would lay a plan
for carrying out the sentence himself
Until such time as he could find an
eXecutioner he would take the gem
erals parole and release him from
confinement The general willingly
gave his word not to leave the princi-
pality, and the next morning was 10
be seen peacefully swinging his cIeay
CT in his butcher shop.
Now the king Of the country who
desired the principally for his COW
Observation-Disclosures that this story
: has been censored and all names have
been deleted- hearing that the general
was engaged at his usual business.
sent deputation to the prince 10
protest against such a fragrant Onis-
sion of royal duty 10 punish treason
representing that If such leniency
were practiced by the crowned heads
= of Europe the world would at last be
cursed with all the horrors OF demoe-
racy.
; To this the prince replied that rath-
er than see this he would consent TO
the massacre of every one Of his sub
liects. The leader of the deputation
replied TO this that If the prince so.
p desired his royal master would send
his own executioner to deeapitate the
general
A few days later the kings exeeu-
toner arrived. His guard Of honor
, numbered 500 men. armed with the
most deadly implement of modern
warfare. They took the general IRON
) his shop and the kings execuuoner
! dispatched him. Then the prince was
t shot down, and when the executioners
/ were finished there was not human
being left in the principally
The executioner, attended BY his
guard, went back to ths king, who
, asked him if he had acceded to the
request of his royal cousin, and the
eXecutioner assured him that he had
done his work so we'll that the prinei-
, pality was now ready for his maiess
, TVS COW pasture.
This is an instance Of how the bless
ings Of royalty have been saved TO the
, world by one royal cousin assisting
! another in depressing treason The
! principality is now COW pasture
I Who knows but that it might have
been a vast plant for the manufacture
: of comforts for the people?
= / and Harrison streets Friday nigh.