The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1917-10-26

UT NOT EedjlZlHB, may, TO his cnaRrln, |
insist on her rights. Usually she bold
~ takes the plunge into the social |
waters, confident that she will, some
how, get back to shore
She may live, In his presence, in an
atmosphere Of patronizing tolerance,
fearing at every word that she may
stumble into some pitfall of mispro-
nunciation or an inadvertent phrase,
or, growing self-assured and reckless,
she puts on a full head of steam in
the presence of a position requiring
tact and just crashes through it like
an engineer running his train over a
burning bridge. His bearing may reach
its melting point; in his acquired SUI
persensitiyeness he puts fictitious val
ues on points where she is deficient
and his tolerance fades into positive
neglect. He may then devote his
whole time to finer minds, fairer faces
and freer morals. How far they may
drift apart, no one can tell.
1t may be that it is the wife who
advances mentally, and he who is the
laggard. The increased prosperity
may mean close confinement for him
TO the drudgery of business. The So
ciety of few old friends, survivals Of
the time when he was poor and strug-
Cling, may be all he cares for. Litera-
ture may not appeal to him. His daily
paper supplies all his needs. The ac-
tivities of the world of modern science,
thought and culture have for him no
real interest. His wife, left free to
the rounding out of her mind and life,
may develop taste for reading, for
companionship that is mentally worth
having, for original thinking, for the
charm of true conversation, for the
discussion of subjects of real impor-
lance. She may gather around her a
circle of friends who feed her mental
hunger and stimulate her thinking. He
feels vaguely out of place with these
new friends of hers, like poor rela-
| ton at Christmas dinner.
She has found her way into the land
of the intellectual and has established
a residence there, while he, in. his
loneliness and isolation, is camping on
| it's frontiers. He feels somewhat a
stranger in his own house at social
gatherings of her friends. He may
chafe under the feeling that he is on
| the wrong side of the proscenium
arch; that he is not one of the per-
formers, but merely a spectator. He
longs to cut out all ''this heavy intel.
lectual business and go off quietly
with friend or two and just sit, and
talk, and smoke.
This growing apart mentally may
assume any of u hundred phases. Hus
band and wife may be subjected t.
any class of differing environments
that change their mental standpoin
and their moral sympathy. New idea
and new ideals may sweep old land
marks of mutual understanding far on
to sea. 1t is a sad outgrowing of
union Of love and companiOnship,
growing unsatisfiedness where speec
that meets no sympathetic respons
lapses into silence. When sympath
and recognition of ones ideals az
found only outside the home wall:
when the instructive impulse to tell 0
n success or a failure turns to som
one else, when ears grow hungry TO
outside praise there is serious DANCE
to the happiness of married life.
1t is so easy to keep together if boil
realize the vital Importance to all tina
is sweetest in life in keeping in step
in true comradeship. Talking owe
the affairs of their individual live
and their life in common, the hopes
the longings, the doubts, the joys ant
the problems, gives each the basis %
knowledge from which most truly Il
understand and advise each other
Reading the same books, discussing thu
same current events, hearing the sans
music, seeing the same plays, criticiz
ing the same pictures, having deares
friends in common, agreeing on thu
same spiritual and ethical attitude to
wards life, and sharing in Thoughts
and plans will do much towards max
ing a growing apart mentally an i'm
possibility.
This keeping in step does not meal
the sacrifice of the stronger TO tn
weaker, but the stronger ever, through
love, raising the weaker to highe
planes of thinking and living. 1t Il
not necessary that they should evel
agree as to the value of each other
pursuits or views, but that both SHOULD
know them, understand them and re
spect them and be lovingly toleran
where they are not united in their sen
timent or desires. They should Civ
ever their best to each other.
When the husband is a clever, de
lightful companion at some one else
dinner-table, but sad, still-life stud,
in silence at his own, he is not givini
his best at home. He is retaining hi
best for the export trade and reserv
ing none for home consumption. Whel
the wife has charity, consideration AM
sympathy for the cares of others out
side the home, and only sharpness ant
sarcasm for those inside, the time
table of that home requires instan
revision or there will be q crashln