The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-08-04
Awful Mistake
Bill Made

Bill Hepburn our artistick black
smith went to the co seat last Sat
terday as ushual.
Bill give out to his nabers Jest as
he was about to start that he had
some important bizness to transackt
over to the CO seat but everybuddy
knowd that the most important biz
ness which Bill Hepburn has over to
the CO seat is to git fullern goat
and come home and .disgrase hisself
land his wife and everybuddy else IN
Bingviile by his skandalus perceed-
|ings.
lest as Bill was about to drive off
his wife come out with jug and
askd Bill to bring her a gal of gasser-
lean in it with which she desired to
take some spots outen clothes or
something
Be that as it may Bill went to the
co seat and lickerd up as mulch as
his hide would hold and in addish1on
to that he purchased gallun OF
whiskey to bring home with him and
use in case of emergency to sober
upon we persoom.
At emmy rate Bill had two or three
swigs outen the Jug after he had
started back to Bingville and lest
afore he came to the bridge over
Snake Crick at the lower edge of
thort he would take lest one more
swig but in some manner nor other
he went and got the two Jugs. mkt
and poor Bill drunk about pint of
aasserlean outen the rone Jug afore
he reu1ized whot he was a doingi
Soon as Bill woke up to whot
.u-rib1e mistake he had made the
rasserlean begin to burn him like
FIRE and he ro1d often the waggun
seat and struck the bridge hard enuH
70 bust the blanks and This scairt
the horse writrh started on the run
M Main ST and diddent stop until it
sreechd the stable door all outen
-~ath.
Meantime Bill continued to boiler
Glen Gookins who lives necr the
bridge thort to goodness sumbuddv
was drownding and Glen grabd up
',is lantern being as It was Citing
darker fast and lit it and started on
the run lords the bridge and when
Ne reachd there Bill he iunpd to his
feet and started to run from Glenn
ike as If he had did somethink gi1tv
nj Glenn made up his mind to catch
nill If he had to chase him a mile
md 2 half
Bill run purity fast but Glenn gained
on him and at last Bill stopd and
grabd up big stone and fased Glen
and heft the stone above his head
and hollerd. '.Don't YOU come a step
nearer TO me Glenn. or lie bust your
head open with this stonep
"Wot are YOU a hollerin about"
saws Glenn. and "whv don't you want
me not to come no reerer to Won. YOU
alar-ed fool7" saws Glenn.
"Becuz." gasps Bill 1--WE went and
drunk most OF of gasserlean and If
YOU brung that lantern emmy neerer
TO me line liabul to explode that 5
whyp
Bill was so scairt that he was as
sober as a Judge by this. time and
nalkd home behint Glen who went
phead with the l7ntern keeping about
100 yds betwixt him and Bill
Soon as Bill reechd home he put
the horse away and went to bed in
distress from the gasser1ean which
he had imbibed. Next morning Bill
he had turrible headakes hlIt outside
Vt that he was O. K exsept he was
sick to his stomach and the very
thorts of gasserlean nossyated him
awful Bills wife started in to clean
some spots outen clothes with the
gasserlean, but the oder of same
drove Bill outen the house He wen.
TO the blacksmith shop where he set
With his head in his hands most OF
the day.