davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-03-04
fore we have them in New York?


The FAT MaN-I tell you we 90,
them before they're written.
THE SICK Man (indigndntly)-How
can you do that?
The FAT MAN-l wish you wouldn't
ask me. The answers awfuiiy compli.
cated. You've got to know a lot Of
higher math. Wait and ask Euclid about
it. We don't have any past and future
you know. None of that nuisance about
keeping shall and will straight.
THE SICK MAN - Well, | must say
that's quite a stunt. You get shows be.
fore they're written.
THE FAT Man - More than that
We get some that never do get written
Take that one of Ibsen's now, 'Merry
Christina"
TIM SICK Man GretfulIy)-Ibsen,
The FAT Man - Yes, it's beaut.
full, sentimental little fairy story with
a ghost for the hero. Ibsen just thought
about it and never had the nerve to 20
through with it. He was scared people
would kid him, but thinking things
+L,ox,, CO ,t-ifh nc
THE SICK MAN - Then I'd think
sixty-six round Van Cortlandt for my.
self.
The FAT MAN-You could do that
But why Van Cortlandt? We've got
much better greens on our course. II,
a beauty. Seven thousand yards long
and I've made it IN ffty-four.
The SICK MAN (suspiciousIU Did
you hole out on every green or just est
mate?
THE FAT Man (stifly)-The score
is duly attested. I might add that it
was possible because / drove more than
four hundred yards on nine of the
eighteen holes.
THE SICK Man - More than four
hundred yards? How did you do that?
The FAT MAN 1t must have been
the climate, or (though1ully) it may be
because wanted so much to drive over
four hundred yards on those holes.
THE SICK Man (ICith Just SHADE
of ScOrn) $50 that's the trick. guess
nobody'd ever beat me on that course;
I'd Just want the ball in the hole in one
every time.
The FAT Man (in gentle reproof)-
No, you wouldn't. Where you and an
going pretty soon were all true SpO's'
men and nobody there would take an ur
fair advantage of an opponent.
The SICK MAN-Before | go want
to know something. There's fellown
l25th Streets been awful decent to me.
Is there any coming back to see people
here? a pGuSe.)
THE FAT Man i can't explain o
YOU yet. but it's difficult to Arrange
that. Still, I wouldn't say that there
never were any Summing parties iron
beyond the grave.
THE SICK Man (shiUelHg) - The
Gravel I'd forgotten about that
THE FAT MAv-Oh, you won't 80
there. and, what's more, you won't bea
the funeral, either wish | could keep
away from them. I hate funerals. TheT
make me mad. You know, they sa'
"Oh. Death, where is thy sting JUS
as if they had pretty good hunch
had one around me some place after al
And you know that Other-"My trlends
this is not a sad OCCASION" but the!
don't mean it. They keep II sad. Ine'
simply won't learn any better. | sup
pose they'd be little surprised to know
that you were sitting watching Kao'
bourne pitch to Ed. Delehanty with me
bases full and three balls and t"0
strikes called. Two runs to WIN sn'
one to tie.
The SICK Man 49, VIII Radbourp'
pitch?
THE FAT MAN-Sure thing.
The SICK MAN--And, say, VIII LEV
u
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-03-04

I've been seeing
things this after
noon and talking
to myself.
The NURsE-No;
your temperature
is almost normal.
The SICK Man
GncredulOuSly
Almost normal?
THE URsE-
Yes; under a hun
dred.
She goes out
quickly and quiet
ly. The Sick Man
turns to his fat
friend.
THE SICK Man
What do you make
of that? Less than
a hundred. That
oughtn't make me
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-03-04

CAST OF CHARACTERS
A Doctor
A Nurse
A Sick Man
A Jolly Little Fat Man with
a Red Face
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-03-04

got a nice face.
Yes; you've got a
mighty nice face.
You'd stop to help
a bum in the street
or a kid that was
crying.
THE FAT Man
| have stopped for
beggars and chill
dren.
The SICK Man
There, you see; |
told you. You're
kind and consider
ate. Deaths the
cruellest thing in
the world.
THE FAT Man
(Uery much Ggi-
tGted)-Oh, please
don't say that,
1t isn't true.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
HIGGINS TRIUMPHS
OVER STAR RUNNERS
Defeats HaLpin, Meredith,
and Diamond in Quarter
Mile Race.

NEW YORK, Feb. 13.-Joe Higgins
of the Irish-American A. c. won the
suburban quarter, the feature race At
the annual games OF the knights OF
st. Anthony at the Forty-seventh
Regiment Armory in Brooklyn last
night. Tom Halpin, the lanky flyer
from Boston, trailed him home, and
then came Ted Meredith, OF the Mea-
dowbrook Club OF Philadelphia
Westmore Wilcox, of Harvard:
Binga Dismond, the negro runner of
the University OF Chicago, and Joe
Dernell, OF the Boys Club OF Nthis
city, finished in order behind Mere
dith. Higgins covered the distance
in 81 3-5 seconds.
Higgins Jagged behind until near
the finish. Then he set sail for the
leader. He first passed Wilcox, then
Dismond, Meredith, and finally Hal
pin. The Boston runner fought game
ly to beat him to the tape but tie
judges declared that he was about
two inches behind the Irish-Ameri-
can A. c. runner at the finish. Mere
dith had enough speed to beat Wilcox
for third place.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
WILL HOLD MEET
Central Stages Water Events for
Freshmen and Sophomores.

Central High School will stage a regu-
lar Tuesday freshman-sophomore dual
swimming meet at the school today. The
usual events will be on the program
with special 22o-yard invitation event
Entries for today's events follow:
320-foot relay-sophomores Newby,
Harrison. Cockerille and Cullen; fresh
men. Maitland, Connolly. May. and
Stiles.
One-length special for beginners
Sophomores. Chestnut and Coleman !;
freshmen, Rhodes and Smith.
5O-yard breast stroke swim-Sopho-
mores. sandifer and Newman; fresh
men. Connolly and Maitland.
lOO-yArd swim-Sophomores. Houston
End Cockerllle freshmen, Connolly and
Stiles.
Fancy diving-Sophomores. Baer and
Coleman; freshmen. Little and Joyce.
5O-yard swirr-Sophomores. Harrison
and Houston: freshmen. May and stiles.
Plunge, for distance - Sophomores.
MorreIl and Newly; freshmen. Zuber
and Posta.s.
One-length life-saving race-Sopho-
mores. Newly and Newman; freshmen.
Dickey and Coleman
5O-yard back stroke swim-Sophomores
Newman and Morrell; freshmen, Pearly
and Connolly.
Two-length special for beginners
Sophomores. McGehee; freshmen, Keen
and Matlerson.
edward swim-Sophomores. Cullen
and King; freshmen. Wilton and Pal-
man.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
FOUR GAMES HOLD
ATTENTION TODAY
League Contest and Three
Others Booked for School,
boy Basketers.

Four gamues are on the books for
the scholastic basketers today. Bust
ness and Central will furnish the fsa-
ture contest of the afternoon. The
teams are tied for second place in
the High School Basketball League,
and today's battle will break the
deadlock.
Both teams furnished a whirlwind
game in their last meeting, when the
score was twice tied at the end of
extra periods. Central won by % to
81 when the battle was finally
stopped.
Props VIII Battle.
The Army and Navy Props have
scheduled a game with the George
town freshmen in Ryan gymnasium
today. Cassell, the Preps' crack for
ward, has recovered, and will prob
ably be used against the Freshmen.
Buck Wise, former Business star, may
get q chance against the Georgetown
men.
The Props have been challenged by
the Friends Select School team, and
the game will probably be arranged
for a neutral floor inside of two
weeks.
80. Eastern to Play.
Eastern goes over to the Gonzaga
gymnasium for a return game with
Coach Roddy's youngsters. The East
erners held the Gonzaga quint to a
close score in their last meeting. Tech
is making ready for the game with
Eastern on Friday and will play the
Carroll Institute team tonight.
There are but three more games
in the high school series after today.
Tech meets Eastern on Friday and
Western plays Central.
Western Wins One.
Western defeated the st. Albans
School team in the Western gym in a
Iistless game yesterday. The score
was 2s to 21. Neither team showed
much spirit and the game was pro-
ductive OF little basketball worth
watching.
Morse, OF st. Adams. distinguished
himself by getting seventeen OF the
teams points. shooting six baskets
from the floor. Western used twelve
players during the contest
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
FULTON FINDS EASY
VICTIM IN WELNERT
NoU Seeking Other Bouts Pre-
iminary to Match With
Jess Willard.

NEW YORK, Feb. I3.-The cham
pionship hopes of Fred Fulton, the
Minnesota giant from Nebraska, are
considerably stronger today. Nego-
tiations are on for a match between
Fulton and Frank Moran. Jim Coffey
or Carl Morris, preliminary to a match
with Jess Willard for the worlds
championship.
Fulton added fresh glory to his
glitterinE laurels with foolish ease
last night at Madison Square Garden.
OF Charley Weinert, the -
Jersey heavy, in less than two rounds
Using q long. snaky left that -
fast as lightning Fulton chopped his
lighter opponent to pieces and weinert
was helpless. Referee Bill Brown
stepped in and ended the unequal
combat.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
TRAVIS IS DONE
Coils "Grand Old Man" Bows to
Inevitable and Surrenders.


According to a dispatch from Palm
Beach. where he has been spending the
winter. waiter J, Travis has decided to
bow 10 thesinevitab1e and to allow him
self to be ousted automatically from the
ranks OF the amateur golfers-by ehe new
ruling Of the executive committee OF the
United States Golf Association. barring
links architects. The veteran declares
that he IS now through with tournament
play, and SO comes to a close the career
OF one OF the most picturesque figures
IN American sport.
Travis won the metropolitan title In
1900. the second time II was played for.
and today. after a period OF seventeen
years, he still commands champions
game. Perseverance and a true esti-
mate Of the part that putting plays in
the game OF golf sent Travis along the
road from local to national fame, and
Il was but a step from there to inter-
national prominence.
In 1904 he successfully invaded the
home OF golf. After all these years he
remains the only American amateur who
has been able to carry on the blue rib
bon OF the British links.
II sentiment played any part at all in
such case as this It seems that golfers
must clamor for the United States Golf
Association TO deal leniently with
Travis.
His days as an amateur exponent OF
the game are over. so II Is the earnest
wish Of tho great many who have been
able TO appreciate his worth that he
will still find IT in his power to do as
much for The game in the line TO which
he has committed himself as he did AZ
a PLAYER and that every course which
he lays out will be OF championship
caliber and a monument 10 himself. the
Grand Old Man" of American golf.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
FURY WILL HANDLE
BASEBALL AT TECH
Former Georgetown Player Will
Take Up Duties With Manual
Trainers.

Tug Fury. former Georgetown
catcher. will again coach Technical High
School in baseball this spring. accord
ing to Leonard Brown, faculty adviser
on baseball at the school
While no contract has been signed
by the former Georgetown player, mat
ters have been talked over and 1t II
understood that Fury will have the first
call II arrangements can be satisfac-
torily arranged. Fury coached last sea-
son.
Played at GeOrgetown.
Fury has been actively engaged in
baseball for several years and has had
experience in coaching. He was
catcher while at Georgetown and also
played in the outheld.:
In connection with baseball it is an
rcunoed that meeting Of the high
school athletic advisers has been set
for Friday afternoon at 2;4s, at the
Y. N. c. A, and the baseball schedule
will be talked over.
Boosts Long Series.
1t Is expected that the twenty game
series will come up for consideration
again this spring. The long series was
PLAYED last year and was success
except for the fact that there was
difficulty in obtaining grounds.
There are several opponents or the
proposed long series this season while
several coaches and advisers believe
the twenty-ganae series the best for
the schools. The matter will probably
be, thoroughly threshed out at fridays
meeting. ~ st,.N.4E.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13

Mullin, and Terry shine with the
White Sox.
Cleveland offers Morton. Lsmberth
Bagby. and Coveleskie.
GrInmen Have Five.
The Grirmen have Elmer Smith
Joe Leonard, Sam Rice, Joe Judge.
and Bert GaIlia-
George Sisler, Johnny Lavan, and
Ernie Koob should be with the
Brownies many years.
Pipp, Gilhooly, Cullop, Russell.
Walters, and Shocker are with the
Yankees.
Scott. Shorten, Shore. Ruth, Mays,
and McNalIy are the Red Sox young
sters.
OIdsters Are Passing.
The oIdsters are passing from the
big leagues. Youth just must be
served. that's all there is to It.
Ed Walsh, Larry Lajoie. Bill Carri
gan, and Ward Miller are American
leaCuers to hear the sound OF taps.
Mordecai Brown. ChrIsty Mathew
son, Joe Tinker, Chief Bender. Gavvy.
CraVath, Otto Knabe, and Mike Doc
Ian are National Leaguers who have
gone.
Chief Meyers, Eddie Plank, Jack
Coombs. George Chalmers, FRED
Snodgrass. Chief Wilson, Bob Bescher.
Johnny Evers. Honus Wagner, Sher
wood Magee, Jimmy Austin, and Lar
ry Gardner are rapidly approachinR
the close OF their diamond careers
in the FIRST rank.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
WRESTLE TOMORROW
oIIn and Roller, Heavyweishts,
Feature Card at Lyceum.

John olIn and DR.. Roller. two OF the
foremost contenders for the worlds
heavyweight wrestling championship.
meet on the mat at the Lyceum tomor-
row night in the feature bout OF an at
tractive card.
In another match Joe Turner. the local
favorite. will take on Jack Jordan in a
middleweight contest to a finish. Turner
was injured in a match with Irs,inger
at Atlantic City and has been out OF
the game for a month. He is now in
good condition.
Two out OF three falls will decide the
Olin- Roller encounter. The preliminary
bout VIII begin at S:l5.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
LAND RELAY PLACES
Washington Boys Make Good on
Catholic University Four.

Nicholson and Rooney, two former
Technical High School lads, have
made places on the Catholic Univer-
sity relay team, which will run in
the Georgetown meet Saturday night
at Convention Hall
Kean and Driscoll were the other
lads selected by Coach Mulligan for
the Brookland four. Driscoll is a
miller, and has already distinguished
himself.
c. u. will enter others in the vari-
Gus events. Last nights trials were
held at the Arcade.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13

Jimmie Smith, world famed tenpin
bowler, and John Gengler. known
over the country as Count Getz," are
hitting the big naples in a sensa-
tional manner on their national toyr.
Recently in a series CT matches at
Blnghamton, n. Y, Smith established
a worlds record for nine straight
games, and Gengler averaged well
above 200. Following Is the unusual
record OF the pair, In which Smith av.
eraged 2,402-0:
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
CHANEY HANDS OUT K. o.
Knocks Willie Jones Through Ropes
in Flftk Round.

BALTIMORE. Md, Feb. 1S.-George
Clancy dealt out such terrific lacinG
to Willie Jones, OF Brooklyn, here last
night in five rounds that the latter
was forced to quit after falling
through the ropes.
Jones never had a chance. CLANCY
chased him all over the ring, raining
hon.. SaEa LsGts and rights
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
PRESENTS N0VIcES
Western Contingent Sixteen Strong
Sends Entries for Meet.

Western High School will put six.
teen athletes in the Georgetown meet
who have never raced before this sea
son. The Red and White also has
three relays entered in the various
classes.
In the 5O-yard novice Western has
LittIehaIes, Hout, Wight, Myers, Alb
bott, and Johnstone. In the 50-yard
scholastic Littlehales, Wight, Hout.
Abbott, and Johnstone are entered.
while in the quarter Payne, Mcintyre,
Hout, Gardner, and Fisher will run.
The relay teams arc expected to
be announced tomorrow after trials
today.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
WALLACE RETAINS TITLE
Defeats KiIIeen In Deciding Pocket
Billiard Contest.

Walter Wallace retained his title
as amateur pocket billiard champion
of the city last night when he de.
feated Eddie KilIeen in the deciding
match of the tournament held at the
Grand Central. wallace won by 100
to 63.
KilLeen played below his form. His
position shots were erratic and his
general performance poor. The vet
eran Wallace showed exceptional
generalship and his safety play was
brilliant.
Sam sindheimer, one OF the most
skilled players in the city, challenged
the winner of the match to play 500
points. in 100 O-point blocks. for a purse
to be put up by the Grand Central
management. His challenge was ac-
cepted and the match will get under
way in two weeks.
The largest crowd that ever at
tended a pocket billiard match in this
city watched last nights contest.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
PROMINENT GOLFER DEAD.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass, Feb. 13.--
Arthur II. Goodale, prominent in ANA
teur golf circles and one OF the low
mark men In the Massachusetts, Golf
Association handicap list, died at his
home yesterday after a brief Illness
He was thirty-one years old and had
won a number of prizes.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
DATE FOR GOLF EVENT SET
Women's Western Tournament to
Begin on August 27.

CHICAGO, Feb. 13.-The 1917
women's Western golf championship
will be held during the week of Aug
ust 81 at the Flossmoor Country Club,
Chicago. The offer OF the club has
been accepted by the officials OF the
Women's Western Golf Association.
The date is subject to ratification
by the club, as it>had not definitely
been set when the offer was made.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
Totals 455 4sO 523 1 ,43s

Cleveland Stars, feminine tenpin
combination, OF Cleveland, recently
rolled u game OF 1.003 which is be-
lieved to be a record for women. The
game was rolled against strong
team of men, and, although the wom-
en- won two games out OF three, the
men triumphed on total pins by a
margin of IS. The sets were 2,T27
against ZIP.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
GAMES RESUMED
eaIIaudet Starts College Basketball
Activities TomorroM.

Gsllaudet will start up the college
basketball activities for the week
with a double bill tomorrow. In the
afternoon the Gallaudet lads are
slated to meet the Temple College
basketball team, Of Philadelphia, and
at night Eastern College. Of Manassas,
Va, is scheduled.
Thursday George Washington will
meet the Temple players at the Y.
NJ. c. A. On. Friday Georgetown meets
Trinity. of North Carolina, while
Catholic University is down for q
game with North Carolina A. and NJ.
Saturday Catholic University plays
Trinity in Carroll Institute gym
nasium.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
WILL DISRUPT TEAM
HarVard's Football Men Want to
Serve Under Teddy.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. Feb. 1S.--war
will disrupt the Harvard football
team. Capt-elect Walter II. Wheeler
has already communicated with Col
onel Roosevelt. asking that he be ad-
mitted as a private In the coloners
proposed division in case OF war.
Wheeler has seen six months serv-
ice along the Verdun front, having
driven an ambulance, and now wears
CroiX de Guerre. given him for
bravery under fire.
Julian L. Lathrop and Milton Nc
Donald are other Harvard men who
have sought to enlist with Roosevelt.
while Robinson and Harte, of the
football team. intend to follow suit IL
the country eventually is thrown into
war.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13

Many major league players may
find themselves transported to the tall
sticks when summer comes, as a re-
suit of their fraternity activities.
They won't be exactly blackllsted,
either. The magnates have decided
to look upon their holdouts as con-
spirators and no manager is anxious
to keep conspirators and disorganiz-
ers in his ball club. John Henry may
not be barred from the American
League, but certainly his activities
this winter VIII hardly Undue Man
ager Griffith with confidence in his
loyalty.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
HERMAN BEATS sANoow.

CINCINNATI, Ohio, Feb. 13-Peta
Herman OF New Orleans, gave Sammy
Sandow. local bantam. a ten-round
boxing lesson here last night II was
Herman's first bout since winnlg tho
bantam championship.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
]. DUNN is LEADER
OF DUCKPIN LEAGUE
Tops Fourteenth Street Rollers
With 105-16 Average.
Has Best Set.

]. Dunn, OF the Henderson-Rowe
team, leads the bowlers OF the Four
teenth Street League with an aver
age Of 1o5-16 for "a games. Dunn also
holds the high set record, 374. The
league averages:
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
YoUNG's ICE CREAM co.
Records.

High individual AVERAGE. Dunn. 10-ls.
High individual game-Burtnor. I5..
High individual set-J. Dunn, S7t.
High team game-Henderson-Ro Rowe Co., Ss6.
High team set-Phelps Bros. Co., I.5S5.
Greatest number spares-Kamm, 81
Greatest number strikes, Crowley and Burt
ler. l..
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
LOCAL QUINT ROLLS
HYATTSVILLE TEAM
Duckpin Series Opens in Mary
land Town Tonight-0ther
Matches.

Armiger. Wood, Watson, George,
and vaeth, representing the Palace
and Grand Central alleys, will meet a
star team OF Hyattsville on the Hy-
attsvIIle drives tonight In the opening
section OF q duckpin series.
Three games will be rolled at the
Maryland hamlet and five here. The
latter will be contested probably next
week. In the Hyattsville vowlers the
locals face worthy opponents. The
Treasury team, OF the Departmental
League, a strong combination, fell
before the Marylanders in a recent
match.
A team chosen from the Palace
Two-Man League. and Jim heads
quint, Of the Center Market League,
clash at the Grand Central this after.
noon In five games. which open q ten
game match. The second five will be
rolled at the Palace next week.
George, May, Brosnan. c. Thomas, and
Armiger make up the Palace combt-
nation, and the Head rollers are J.
Head, Steve Coster. E.. Kettler, and
K. Kettler.
The National Capital girls team,
which was scheduled to roll a team
of the walbrooke Club in Baltimore,
Saturday, will take on the latter IN
the Monumental City next Saturday
night, the match having been post
poned. The walbrooke girls are said
to be unusually skillful, several aver
aging above 90.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
You are going to the Georgetown
track meet Saturday night OF course

II Is not so much the desire to see
willard beaten that the hunt for log
icaI contenders has been carried on.
II is simply the desire for a change
on the part of the fans and a desire
for change (meaning money! on the
part Of the promoters and managers.
In defeating Johnson, Willard did the
boxing game a.service. In refraining
from defending his title he has the
complete alibi-there was nobody
1t. Interviewed in Chi
cago as OF the possibility Of
his being an accomplice in
the wilIard-Fulton bout, Jess vii
lard said that he was as willing as
Barkis, provided that the promoter
met his terms and that Brigadier
General Public continued to believe
that Fulton was the logical conten-
der. Champions have become great
sticklers for logic In the matter Of
contenders these uays.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
The American League schedule
contains several surprises.

Charlie Cox, Georgetown's grad
uate manager. who has been i'll for
some seven weeks. is at last able to
come out and visit his friends. He
has weathered a serious operation
and, while some weight has disap-
peared. he expects to be right on his
job within a week or 30. II is un-
fortunate for Georgetown's big track
meet that Cox has been confined to
his bed in the University Hospital,
for the graduate manager Is skilled
In handling such affairs. However,
with Cox back on the Job. athletics
at the Hilltop will not be neglected
for the remainder OF the college year.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
Grmen Oppose Reducing Quint
BOB THAYER'S
Sporting Gossip

II Mike Gibbons keeps on running
he may catch up with Les Darcy.
The Washington times., 1917-02-13
Maekmen Have Many.

Connie Mack presents Witt, Elmer
Myers, Catcher Meyer, Thrssher.
Sheehan, Nabors, and Picinich.
Pep Young, Harry Heilman, Gun.
nishham, and Ehmke Rre with the
Tigers.
Feisch Claude Williams, Ness Nc