Connecticut western news., 1917-02-08
The Cure of
 Joel White By M. QUAD Copyright, 1916. by the Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.

! by circus menageries.
 Joel White bought butter. eggs. hides. | potatoes and other things of farmers
 and shipped them to New York. He ! was known as q quiet. honest man and had the respect of all. He had been
 ill business five years when the time came that he had to go to New York city. When there he went to the zoo. The place was great surprise to him. He was fascinated. Instead of making Il visit lasting two or three hours, hn i spent the best part of three days look ing at the beasts and birds, and then could hardly drag himself away. When he reached homo lie could talk of noth
 ing else to his family. and he had q ] certain wildness of eye which his wife | did not like at all However. he went 1 to bed at the usual time and slept quietly through the night. | When Joel arose next morning and
 sat down to breakfast he looked at the
 food placed before him with great con tempt and said to his wife:
 This is no food for lion. Go down ] to the butcher shop and bring me five 1 pounds of raw meatr'
 Why, what do you mean. Joel:" she
 asked in astonishment.
 Il mean that 1 am full grown lion
 and that l shall kill half dozen per 1 sons during the day"
 The Wife ran out and got three or four men, and when they entered Joel
 retrcated to the back yard and there | roared and snarled and paved the | earth like au angry lion. Two doctors
 came and examined him, and the yer dict was that he had gone tcmporari- ly Insane. The lIau-lion was nuarLCl at day and night and next morning l looked and acted as sane as anybody He did not remember that he had play. ed the lion, and the doctors said that | no one must tell him. He went to business and for three days was all right. Then he awokc to declare that
 he was an elephant. The attack came
 upon him just as he had left his gate | behind him to go to store. He began swinging his right arm as an elephant swings his trunk, and he sent forth trumpet blasts.
 Joels elephantine fit lasted two days 1 and then suddenly left him. He picked
 Up his business at just the point where
 he left it and did not seem to realize
 that he had lost any time Then he began to perform" again, and his performance" created sudden and d great shock.
 Joel White was a member of one of the churches and was always in his
 pew of a Sunday. He was there on
 this particular Sunday, and he was a close listener to the sermon. When it was about half done Joel suddenly sprang to his feet and yelled out:
 Look out for me! I have turned
 into q rhinocerosr'
 With this he began running up and
 down the aisle. The people rose LID
 and hurried out as fast as they could, but he bumped against full score
 and sent them sprawling. The doctors were very doubtful if he would recover from this last illu-
 sion. For two days he remained sullen | and silent and did not seem to recCg-
 nize even his wife. Then he awoke. as it were, ard was his real self again. When Joel came to himself again he
 was plainly told of his past perform
 anceS. He was utterly astonished. Those things were blank to him. and
 he wept over them. So great was his
 earnestness that it was agreed to give
 him last chance. If he played zoo 1 on that town any more he must be shipped off to the state asylum. One morning Joel was mailing up
 box ill front of his store. As he work
 ed away at the box he suddenly emit ted sound between a hiss and
 cacllle, and, throwing away the ham, 1 mer and nails, he cried out:
 From. l have been turned into an ostrichI And don't let them pluck out
 my feathers"
 With that speech he went running
 up the street with long strides. and
 the town was soon in an excited state again. Joel hadn't committed any dam age when he came across a tin ped dler's rig which was standing in front of d house. and the peddler himself had just come out of the gate after a call.
 Look out! Look out!" cried Joel us
 he came striding up. "I have been turned into a ostrich, and if 1 kick you once shall break all your ribs!''
 Look out yOurself"' shouted the peddler. "I am an ostrich myself and if there is any kicking to be done you
 bet your boots I shall have a hand
 in it.''
 Joel made an awful kick at him, but
 missed, and ill return was fairly turn
 ed around by the shoe which struck
 him. Then he received two mole
 kicks and escaped a third by starting
 off on a run. Seeing that the pedIle
 was after him. he leaped a fence and
 came down on his head on the other
 side.
 first haIinya1 thof I0als