Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1916-1918, 1917-05-04
Too Much EFFICIENCY
by j. E. Rath.


shook him quite roughly, and was still
shaking him when Matilda entered the
room
Stop said Matilda tragically.
H. Hedge stopped the shaking
process. but still held Demosthenes
pendent by the scruff.
Put him down." commanded
Matilda.
What is it?" asked the efficiency
man, calmly surveying the struggling
philosopher.
"It?" repeated Matilda in an awful
voice at. That is Miss Comics dog"
You mean to say that this is really
a dog?"
Matilda choked In her soul she pray
ed that Demosthenes might not hear
the insult.
Put him down." she commanded
calmly. "He wants to bite me. And
whether he is dog or rat, do not
care to be bitten. | think l shall dis
pose Of him.
Matilda turned pale. Demosthenes
was to be disposed Of. Some horror
was afoot. She fed from the library
and sought her mistress upstairs.
He Is killing Demosthenes!" cried
Matilda.
Constance waited for no more. She
raced downstairs, two steps at time,
surefooted as mountain-goat, yet ap-
parently risking her neck at every
stride The efficiency man still had the
small black creature at arms length
when she appeared on the scene.
Drop HIM" cried Constance.
H. Hedge turned and surveyed her
with great gravity.
IF l drop him, he will bite me in
the ankle" he said. II object to being
bitten in the ankle. broke one once
and that is sufficient"
Constance dashed across the room
and gathered Demosthenes in her
arms. He was very small bundle, but
he snapped angrily at H. Hedge and
snarled in manner that would have
terrified stouthearted mouse.
Does that thing belong to you?" de-
manded H. Hedge.
Thing, He Is my dog"
What is his name-Molecule?''
His name Is Demosthenes.'
why so much name for a little
dog? It's ortionate--inappro
priate'
The efficiency man devoted another
moment Of brief study to his late as.
sailant.
in fact said Hedge, why keep tho
dog at all? A dog has no place in do
nestle economy 1t contributes nothing
to wealth or comfort; 1t is nonpro-
Queer. 1t is sometimes dangerous.
usually an annoyance, and invariably
an expense. What does it cost to feed
this dog?'
Constance utterded an exclamation
of contempt.
"Cost! Do you thing have nothing
to do but inquire into the cost OF keep
ing Demosthenes? What difference
does it make anyhow? All | know IS
that he cost five hundred dollars when
he was new"
And how long have you had him."
"A year. at least
Well mark on twenty per cent for
depreciation" said Hedge, after a
swift mental calculation. 81 doubt if he
would even bring four hundred now"
Sir"
mo secondhand or even slightly
used dog is worth as much as new
one. That's simply business. But in
spite of depreciation there Is. OF
course, no reduction in the cost of up
keep. Therefore, we are maintaining
an entirely useless and steadily de-
mr. +; mi u al 11,
increases in proportion to actual
value"
A secondhand dog, Constance was
speechless. Unconsciously. she Rugged
Demosthenes closer.
II do not think am justified in con-
senting to an expenditure for such a
wasteful purpose added Hedge eying
the dog with complete disfavor.
You are perfectly preposterous.
said Constance.
But scientifically correct" he re-
piled imperturbably 81 think shall
have to ask you to dispose of the dog
will endeavor to obtain the best price
possible"
Price, For my dog Do you thing
would sell him at any price?'
81 should certainly advise It, In fact,
] should be quite willing TO credit the
proceeds to your personal account"
Constance glared at him.
You are not possibly serious?'
Quite. admit that. in all probabil
ity. the cost per diem of this animal is
not large item. II is the principle to
which ! object. There are a thousand
and one trivial sources of expense in
this household.
II am checking them as encounter
them. Although none may be great in
itself. the effect Of each is to inculcate
wasteful habits and destroy a sense
of true economic values. while the
total expense of all is very consider
able sum. ] am here TO do my duty by
your father"
DO you know that my father gave
me this dog" inquired Constance tri-
The efficiency man did not seem
abashed.
Il am not concerned with the
source Of origin of any given thing in
this house" he said Il merely consider
II as a desirable or necessary part of
the establishment
Suppose my father had given ME
ST ri mr. "a irGtpai f,f :,