The Washington herald., 1917-10-28
GOOD MORNING
JUDGE
Cavemnn Dentistry.
BY RUDOLPH PERKINS.


She was a frail little wife.
For many long days she had put up
with a drunken husband, thrashing,
and many other things.
The other day she summoned up
enough nerve to tell her brutal hus-
band that she was going to leave
him.
When Weston Cephes heard these
words from his wife, Emma, he could
hardly believe his ears. He sat down
and thought minute.
She was a good little wife. She
cooked fine. She sewed beautifully
and she kept the house clean. II
she left him some other man might
cast his eyes in her direction, thought
Weston.
Anyhow she was not at all bad look
ing. So Weston walked up to Emma
and knocked out two of her teeth
just as calmly as he would eat his
supper.
This done he sat down and laughed.
Emma didn't laugh. Oh. no; she hur
ried out and got a warrant.
Instead of sending Cephas to Jail
the court fined him so.
How Unlike the BeIgians.
1t is nice thing to be able TO love
your enemies.
A few days ago Annie Gibson was
on her way TO the coal yard. Not To-
buy coal but to deliver some wash
ing. for man who worked there.
On her way she was jumped on by
Rosa and Ida Sims and their brother
Dempsey. 1t took three of them to
whip Annie. II she had been looking
1t would have taken six of them.
All kinds of weapons were used.
Bricks. bowls and pitchers and good
ness knows what not.
'Ah still likes NAH frens'?' Annie
told the court, "eben ef dey did jump
me en- beat me all up. All doan mind
a little thing LAX dat"
You are not refusing to prosecute
because you are afraid of them are
you?" asked the court.
Nav. sah," answered Annie, "Ah
refuses to proxicute becus' All doan
want ter bust up our long frenship."
No one knew what the fight was
about and the case was dismissed, but
Annie certainly got hers.
1t Won't Come Out in the Wash.
Friday Afternoon a woman customer
of a laundry called up the office
Look here she said, you are
charging me 60 cents for these
blankets when the list says only so
cents"
alright madam" answered the
boss. 'Fll look it up. The boss looked
1t UP. He could find neither hide
nor hair OF any record OF delivery
to that address and no return slip at
the Office for sixty cents.
He called up the customer again,
and got a description OF the driver.
Then 1T was all clear.
Harry Jenkins was called into the
office and questioned. Then he was
arrested. He had delivered the pack
age. marked 1t up and forgot to turn
the money in.
The man insisted he was innocent.
but the description given By the Gus
toner fitted him perfectly.
The court fined him so with an
alternative of thirty days in Jail.
Can You Blame Hint
"Jedge, All ak nah wife ter kiss
me wen All cum home las night en-
she wouldn't do it, en- 1t made ma
mad. Den All axes her ef some odde-
fellow had been kissin' her en- she
ups en- hit me-"
Too bad indeed Bob Parks had
grossly insulted his wife, and she
resented It. Any respectable woman
would
But Helen had only given him such
slight tap. And he had bruised
Helen up so. she will not be able to
, keep house for a month.
"Ah hain't used ter kissin' any
man wen dere breff smells like gin
en- fish," answered wifey. You can't
blame her a bit.
No matter what wiley had said, 1,
didn't justify Bob for trying to put
her away for keeps. Bob's too jeal.
Gus anyhow.
The court hates to see a womer
get mussed up and sent Bob dowr
for thirty days. Helen will support
\ herself as usual
Beaned.
Three men sat in a Greek lunch,
room partaking of that famou.
American dish of "A Thousand of A
Plate"
ITS h OF note dat dey doar
let fellow have some ketchup to put
on desc beans" said Harry Mintz
! peevishly to his compa Mons.
"Oh pleeza meester. don't usa dem
damn cuss words? asked the waiter
"Yo is cussIn' as much as All is
Louie" replied Harry. Right here
plate flew in Louie's direction. He
didn't see who did it.
The trio were ordered out Of the
place in three different languages
italian Greek and English.
Harry resented this. He fired ar
empty sugar bowl at Louie. Empty
is right. Sugar is too scarce.
Louis caught the bowl right on the
chin and its shape was altered con-
siderably.
Harrys finances are also altered
too as he &c oIt con