davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

he COuluH 40 iNt QUARTER
In any decent style.
lie couldn't do the pole vault
He couldn't put the shot,
But he could tell the coaches
How to do lot-pennsylvania
Punch Bowl
I'd give a dollar TO kiss you. my
love.
But you must be saving, Jack--sun-
Dial
Young Lady, (excitedly) Young
men, Old men, all are the same, mere
worms of the earth.
Voice-Yes, chicken gets them
all-Penn. State Froth.
Hanger-She appears to have
changed her clothes
Fanger- Most people disappear 10
do that-Dartmouth Jack O'Lantern.
lido you know. your classes re-
mind me OF Ford.
l0--How's that?
17-Oh. just bunch of nuts with
a crank in front of them.-Princeton
Tige.
Dyner-Say, waiter, your adver-
tlsement said: Dinner a dollar a
plate, and my bill is thirteen dol
lars.
Waiter-But you used thirteen
plates-Chaparral
She-DCn't you think Myrtle looks
ugly in that ultra low-cut dress?
He-Not so far as can see.-Jes-
te
Kind Lady--Oh, that man is intox-
icated--he looks in real pain.
Happy One-No-hic-, Madam. not
real pain.-iust champasne.--Fro
can't understand this code of
ethics.
What code is that?
The one which makes IL all right to
take a mans last dollar, but breach
OF etiquette 10 take his last cigar
ette--Penn Punch Bowl
I'm running this!" asserted Mr.
starting the water for his
bath.-Harvard Lampoon.
Hey. BILL how about that debt Won
owe NE? Did you forget it?
Not vet. Give me time.-Yale Re
cord
All students are advised 10 ac-
quaint themselves with the Rosenfell
members of a Hebrew
settlement, but the farfamed trio:-
Persia, Greece and Rome.-Penn.
Punch Bowl.
The Amalgamated Hoboes Union
was holding it's annual session.
Here is a report" Numbered the
chairman, from Atlantic City that a
tramp has been washed ashorel Who
has broken the rules OF the organiza-
tion?"
HE was dead" said delegate,
otherwise he would never have sub
nitted. Penn Punch Bowl.
Why is that fellow Carnegie sitting
on that pile of steel ingots over
there?
Oh, he's expecting a fight in Wall
street and he wants to be on his met
tle-Penn. Punch Bowl
Once upon time there was
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10
= - y !. = j, : :. = j. = > = ~ ! q
HOW To REMOVE STAINS
FROM CLOTHES

:. y
= HOW To REMOVE STAINS :
:. FROM Clothes y
s. Turpentme is used 10 remove \
y paint stains. Apply the turpen- =
y tine with a piece OF rag, and if y
> the stain is obstinate use little i
). ammonia as well. I
y Paratlin is also used for the 3
y removal of paint stains Dip J
i the stain into the parafIin, rub =
Z between the fingers and then =
:; wash thoroughly with soap and y
s water. =
= Ammonia will be found excel >
= lent for renovating and remoy- >
+ ing stains from blue serge =
! dress. Buy few cents worth >
: Of ammonia and dissolve it in =
= wine bottle OF hot water Place y
= the garment flat upon the table ).
y and thoroughly brush It until II 4
= Is free from dust Now pro i
:. coed to rub it well over with a !.
s. cloth soaked in ammonia water, :.
y taking care that every little y
4 stain is thoroughly rubbed. Re y
:. peat the rubbing process if nee s
, essary. Hang the skirt out on :.
: line in the air till dry and press y
:. on the wrong side with hot irons :.
= and damp cloth :.
J. very simple ana effective =
= method of removing the grease :
:. stains is the following: Place the :
:. stained part OF the material be- =
= tween two sheets Of blotting pa y
= per Press with q hot iron until s
: the grease mari, Is seen on the :
s blo.rlng paper Now remove the =
\. paper so that fresh piece Gov y
= ers the stain and press again. =
:. Repeat the process Till the stain y
=. disappears.
:. Gasoline is splendid for clean y
- ing white silk collar, but care =
: must he exercised III using Il. as =
!. it is highly inGammahle. Dip =
= piece of soft material into the y
> gasoline and then rub the stain y
4. cd part well. Turn the cloth as y
y soon as it becomes dirty. y
5. %
j. y y ! i :. = 4. ~ :. y s s. , = = =
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

Bernice is an awful prude.
News to me! Tell me why
Refused to ride with me when
told her the cars gears were strip
ped -Chapafral
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

VIII never know safety.
A grille who has never kissed
Is dangerous soc!ety-Columb is
Jester.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

A grille who has never kissed
Is dangerous society,
For, learning Just what she has
missed,
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

He couldn't kick a football,
He couldn't run mile.
He couldn't do the quarter,
In any decent style.
He couldn't do the pole vault,
He couldn't put the shot,
But he could tell the coaches
How to do a lot.-Pennsylvania
Punch Bowl.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1917-01-10

A grille who has never kissed
VIII not--well, III give but the
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
Billy Bunny and His Friends

Se didn't like ice cream. but gue0 he
did. for in a minute he began to smile.
I'm going down to the Old Mill
Pond. You won't see me again till
spring" =
what IRE you going to dot" asked
the little rabbit.
I'm going to crawl into the soft
warm mud" said Tommy Turtle. Aofd
North Wind isn't going to freeze the
end of my nose" and the wise little
turtle started on for the Old Mill Pond
and when he got there, he Topped over
the bank without another word.
Dear mel" said Billy Bunny, now
he's gone. Old Uncle Bullfrog is in the
mud at the bottom Of the pound, and
lots Of the forest folk have flown south.
There won't be many Of my friends left
before long," And the little rabbit felt
quite lonely. So he hoped away to-
ward tho Friendly Forest and by and
by he came to the stream where Benny
Beaver lived. And there was that busy
little beaver making his winter house
of sticks and mud 80 that when the
water froze he would be able to swim
out thru the cellar door underneath
the lea
Something's tells me it's going to
freeze tonight" he said to tho little
rabbit, "and I'm going to DO ready, yes
indeed" And In the next story you
shall hear about another little friend
whom Billy Bunny met, and he, too.
was getting ready for winter.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10

sists Of one building, 12o-4o feet: sis
secretaries; one moving picture ma
chine; one piano; one grafanola; writ
ing materials; magazines: correspond
ence tables: athletic supplies; game
tables; ice water: post office; money
order department.: savings department:
information bureau.
The first subscription to come into
the Iowa headquarters on this $4,000,
600 fund was by Alex Grimes, Iowa;
enlisted and was sent to Fort Logan,
Utah. He wrote back to Peterson:
The " has been life-saver to me
take to Camp Dodge that IS you owe
me and give it to the Army Y" Peter
son did this; the camp secretaries
brought It to Des Moines headquarters
as the first actual money to arrive, II
IS was that boys share, who was will
ing to give his life also, what ought
our share be?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
TINES REPUBLICAN, MARsHALTowr IOWA: NOVEMBER

Of the Uncertainty Of the Iowa river
in choosing its future channel.
Tama county has never used q four
inch plank ON an old structure. and this
is the first time Tama county has ever
used a four-inch plank on a new
structure. The reason for same be-
ing that the traffic on tlsA road was
very heavy and we could secure more
efficiency per dollar spent from four
inch plank than a three-inch. Another
reason is that we desired twenty foot
roadway which required the use OF
4x12 stringers twenty feet long as no
other material in twenty-foot lengths
was available. 1t might be advisable
to explain to the deluded writer OF this
article that especially on a well-traT-
eled road the planking will have to ne
replaced every three or four years
while the sub-structure OF a wooden
bridge will last from twelve TO fifteen
yeads. Using an argument simple
enough to understand would ask the
writer of the article if it would be good
economy to tear out the entire bridge
which has been in but a few years Just
because the planking is worn out.
The records show that during the
year Of 1916, Tama county constructed
more permanent bridges than any
other county in the state, that Tama
county spent almost as much for per-
manent roads and permanent bridges
as any other county in the state, that
Tama county has spent so much TOR
permanent bridges that they now must
resort to some new wooden bridges -
keep the bonded Indebtedness from IN
creasIng at a rate faster than the pres
emit taxes could retire the bonds In NJ
teen or twenty years.
/ feel that this criticism is like a
great many others, that 1t was made
from only one point of view ana that
1t would not have occurred If any In
yestigation Of the facts had been made.
A Hebenstreit, county engineer.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10

know the amount OF pay received by
the soldiers
A homesics boy is an easy prey. He
wants 10 forget.
What can we DO about !t? Listen
| again:
There must be Y. NJ. C. A. center
convenient 70 every American soldier.
The ~ is there as a safeguard.
A great club house awaited the boys
a, the port Of debarkation in France
with the welcome sign OF the red tri-
angle
Hu,s. buildings. shacks. tents, etc,
will be constructed wherever our sof-
der boys go even up TO the front line
trenches There is a splendid club
house and hotel In Paris at a rental
OF 100000 per year, which is head
quarters for our boys during their fur
loughs
Also a great pleasure resort in the
swiss Alps, has been rented, TO which
our Boys" viii be sent for their longer
turloughs.
We must spend nearly s12.oooooo in
France by July instead OF 100000,
winch We eNpcSltu itSI suing "oeiA
be needed.
Don't deprecate the conditions un-
less You are willing to afford personal
assistance in preventing them.
Don't raise hands OF holy horror over
the prevalence OF venereal disease in
the army unless you have first put
hand in pocket to help create the Y.
NJ c. A. war fund.
Don't dodge. Meet the facts fairly.
Inform yourself as to the prevalence OF
yenereal diseases not only in camps
but at home. Perhaps you'd best seek
general information. For the Lord and
the doctors only know where single
trails might end.
Thirty-1ive millions isn't drop in
bucket compared to the good it will
do in the right hands toward saving
young men.
Those young men are. coming home.
They are TO father the next generation.
How petty s35.OOo,oo0 looks beside
them aud the future OF the commun-
tiles.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
you TALK BACK TO Rem.

a woman made this remark: y see
the newspapers and magazines full OF
suggestions where and how women
may save for the war and l see that
most OF my friends have signed the
conservation pledge. Also l take note
that the average woman is figuring
ways and means of saving. But l
haven't yet seen a pledge paper cir
culated or signed where men have
agreed 10 abandon tobacco in order TO
save for the war. l have seen appeals
10 men who use tobacco TO double
their expenditures and when buying
for themselves buy the same quantity
for soldiers. And II appears that they
do il by the newspaper reports OF bar
rels alled by those purchases"
She went on. i haven't been in any
town OF any size for years that hasn't
q half dozen or more cigar and tobacco
stores. The druggist all sell cigars.
Some of the barbershops sell them I
am informed All the restaurants and
hotels sell them. i heard a man COM
planning the other day that the price
Of cigars had gone up but ! didn't hear
him say anything about cutting them
down on his daily allotment"
Then she shifted and led with her
left Suppose that 100000 men
smoke a half dollars worth Of cigars
and tobacco a day. Il would take about
four days abstinence 10 raise that $685.
100000 for the Y. NJ. c. A. wouldn't
it? A years expenditure would mighty
near pay of the first Liberty Loan,
wouldn't it? And what do you men
get out Of it anyway. sour stomachs,
ugly morning dispositions and an Of
fensive personal stencil
Why don't you lords Of creation do
something yourselves? Why don't you
have cigarless and tobaccoless days?
While suggesting so much 10 US women
why don't you organize a week OF no
tobacco, no down town lunches no
treating and the like OF that and turn
the money saved over to the Y. u. c.
A, the Belgians, the babies that are
starving while you burn up good
money for nothing except arterial
sclerosis"
Well, there 1t is. Somebody talk
back to her
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
yEhERAl DISEASES AND YMc.A

II ever there is to be a time when
the mealy mouthed prudery which re-
fuses to recognize facts is to be dis
missed ana conditions s.z----os .:,a;i-
~ and openly it is now when millions
Of young men are being called together
under circumstances that offer vice
its malignant opportunity.
Divisions might be formed OF the
soldiers who are out Of action on Eu-
ropean armies because Of Yene-eal dis
ease.
We have in our prudishness and with
a mistaken idea Of Refinement, re-
fused to discuss this menace which
exists and is widespread in peace and
which hnds its widest opportunity in
war. Let's discuss 1t now. At least let
US meet the facts squarely and face
to face.
Listen: In the British army alone
at one time, 100000 men were in the
venereal hospitals.
Some one has said: There has been
enough disease developed in this wal
to curse Europe for three generations"
Here in the United States and II
our advance rosts end forts beyond the
continent the government is using its
authority to keep this particular vice
away from the posts and cantonments
Even here there is as much failure as
success. The solder can be guarded IL
camp and posts but no government car
guard him from himself. Military order
or act Of congress can not remov.
temptation.
But in France and on foreign servic'
THIS per-, increases:
Government car Lot control sur
| re findings Of our solciers as 1t can II
this country.
Soldiers are scattered thru the vii
| lases II France, SOC to 1000 to VII.
laye, located in gaIrets. cellars. barns
| etc.-eat in me streets-no tents Of
barracks for fear Of being located b,
| German aeropIares.
| No stores, theaters, or any sort o
| legitimate arnusements.
Plenty OF wine and women. however
Our men get II per day, as mini
mum French soldiers get cents.
Greater the pay, greater the tenipta
ton. For the women of the Stseet
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
THE SPIRIT OFF DIES MONIES.
rvaorran Shield


What a tragedy that wherever man
goes, or whatever he does, he is beset
by temptations and vices. No sooner
had the soldier boys been modified
at San Francisco, one Of the first
army camps established than WHISKY
sellers began the erection Of small
shacks all about the carmp from
which to sell their liquid damnaton.
There's no patriotism about the saloon
man. He would make a drunkard OF
every soldier in time OF war, leaving
the nation in peril. To Des Moines,
where there are some forty thousand
soldiers, the youth and flower OF the
land, have come fakirs and prostitutes
by the score to undermine and impair
the health and morals OF the boys who
are working hard to At themselves to
fight a world war and save the nation.
Long years IN the penitentiaray Is the
penalty for prostitution in Iowa, and
the police and court officers OF Dies
Moines will see to 1t that the painted
hariots who have immigrated to Des
Moines will emigrate to the states
prison The law abiding fathers and
mothers Of this country have just
about all they can do to give their
sons to make UP the army, and their
hard earned dollars to equip and
maintain the army. They do not pro-
pose to have their sons debauched by
the rum seller and the harlot. Thanks
be we have an attorney general IN
Iowa who has the power and the cour-
age to remove any officer who fails to
enforce the law Let there be a tend
ency on the part Of local>officers to be
lenient with the leeches that swarm
about the cantonment-and off will
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
rAmA COUNTY BRIDGE WORK.

Editor Times Republican: I notice
an article in your paper taken from
the Peoria yidette, copy Of which Is
enclosed saying that Taua county was
placing nice, expensive 4-inch plank on
a rickety, dilapidated bridge, and going
further into detail explaining how
much money was wasted which could
have been utilized in building perna-
ment bridge. The party who wrote
that article is evidently believer OF
permanent construction for which he
should be commended. but 1t is very
poor method he uses in bringing out
his argument for permanent work. II
the writer Of the article had taken
about two minutes to investigate the
construction work he saw he would
have found out that afour-inch plank
of which he spoke was not being placed
On a rickety and dilapidated structure.
but was being placed on new wooden
structure. This wooden structure was
an overflow bridge on the Iowa river
and was being built Of wood because
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
SCALING DOWN THE BIG BIDS.

Government officials have decided 20
accept all OF the subscriptions to the
last Liberty Loan under $4,000 in
amount but the very large subscrtp
tons are 10 De scaled down and the
average citizen wonders why. The
real reason Is not given out but those
who have more or less intimate &C
quaintance with local bond campaigns
can see very probable purpose in the
fact that most Of the subscriptions Of
one 10 i've millions each were made
by big corporations where captains OF
industry are close to the big bankers
and probably subscribed as they did as
q guarantee that the loan should not
fail Il Is highly probable that when
the Santa Fe Railway Company sub
sc-ioed several million Il was upon an
un6srs-aa d!ng that its subscription
would be scaled down IN the event Of
Al oversuhscr.p,ion. for the Santa Re
IS a big borrower in its own business
at higher rates than the government
pays.
The same can be said o. almost all
the million dollar subscribers. The
New York district alone subscribed for
half the minimum amount Of three bill
lions required. II was done 10 insure
the success OF the loan from the start
and will ba 1ors ay,S- IN -ba oax- loo,
Now that approximately half a billion
is to be shrunk from the very large
amounts II will mostly come out OF
the New York district where the cap
tains Of industry all DO their banking
and still the New York crowd will be
left holding nearly a third OF the total
loan.
The big men Of finance are standing
by their government in financing the
sees the necessity for the preservation
Of his government more than the man
OF property. The big factories of the
country are being offered to serve the
government. The railroads have vol
unteered to be managed as one great
cooperative system in the interest Of
the government during the war. Tne
banks OF the land thru the federal re-
serve system are raising the money
needed for the war and everybody ex-
cept the coal baron seems to be trying
to do his bit. He and the housewife
who boards are out to prodteer.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
Masonic Meetings
Visitors Always WELDON

MARSHALL LODGE, No. 1903, A. F. &
A. M.-Special communication, Friday
Oct rs, 1880 O'Clock. Work in first de-
gree. John W. Wells, secretary; w. Il
Steiner, ". NJ.
siGNET CHAPTER. No. SO, r. A. M.
Special convocatton Monday evening,
Nov. -, at 7:So o'clock Royal Arch
and a feed Carl ShaSner, Il. P: John
W Wells. secretary.
STATED ASSEMBLY, King Solo
mon Council No. %, r. & S. NJ Mon
day, Nov. -. Regular business. 7. T.
Forbes. recorder: George Gregory. L NJ.
STATED coNcLAVE, St. AIdenar
commandery. No. 80, K. T. Tuesday,
Nov. -, T:s9 ,. N. For work Order
q Temple. L r Forbes recorder; Il,
c. Mueller. commander,
CENTRAL CHAPTER No. 81, o. z.
S.-Reguiar meeting for business Wed
nesdav. Nov. "a. 80 ?. n Mrs. George
Downing. secretary; Mrs =. z. Fred
srick. ". N
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
Mothers Prayer.

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Who rules the land and sea,
Protect my boy who fights in France
And keep him safe for me.
To Thou oh Lord look for strength
Ali else but Thou hast gone,
With my little lad across the sea,
My heart, his life the pawn.
1t seems TO me but yesteryear
When on his little knee,
HIS childish voice he lifted up
Twas thus he prayed TO Thee,
Now I lay me down 10 sleep,
l pray the Lord my soul TO keep,
If should die before l wake,
l pray the Lord my soul TO take"
The little lad who used TO pray,
Has now to manhood grown,
But ever straight his feet have kept,
The path to Thy dear Throne.
pray Thee Lord to bring him back,
But if this can not be,
Keep Thou his soul that we may meet
In Thine Eternity.
j. f. Chrisman.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
Carrot tea and lollypops
Make small Dummies take big hops.
But really do not know
II BOYS and girls would find It 50!

One morning, oh. so early, while the
frost was still on the grass and Mt.
Happy Sun was hardly out OF bed
under the misty hill in the east, Billy
Bunny hoped down the Pleasant
Meadow till he came to the Babblin2
Brook Perhaps he wanted to see the
little fresh-water crab, and perhaps
he didn't can't really tell, for the
first person he spoke to was Tommy
Turtle. Yes, sir. Tommy Turtle in his
little walk about house. And do you
know, think It must be very nice TO
be able to take your house with you
wherever you go. instead OF having TO
move out yourself on the first OF May.
Good morning" said Billy Bunny,
and Tommy Turtle pushed out his
head from under his shell roof, for at
first he had pulled his head inside, the
way he always does when he hears
noise.
"Oh. it's YOU" said Tommy. I
thought 1t was somebody else" And
then he winked at the little rabbit In a
very solemn way.
"My, but It's getting cold" said the
little rabbit, and he turned up his fur
collar. willie Wind is as chilly as an
ice cream cone" And this made
Tommy Turtle wink again, for mayo'
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
RIPPING RHYMES
BY Walt Mason.
WINTER GRIEF.


ported
whichever
and
a
against suspended from hook
the and set them on the
SHELF
there OF
chairs
that
breeze to water FOOLISH pan
and bust nose asn
n1pots
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1917-11-10
Topics of the Times

The most important business Of next
week is to see that 7. NJ. c. a. war
fund fully subscribed.
Censors in France say that half OF
the contents OF soldiers letters home
are descriptions Of the Y. NJ. c. A.
huts.
Canada, in the third year Of the war.
is now contributing annually more per
capita to their Y. NJ c. A. war fund
than the $50, 200, 900 asked OF the United
| States. Australia nearly twice as
much.
"The Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton has won Its place by unselfish
personal devotion to the soldiers well
fare and deserves staunch support by
our people at home."-General Per
shtng.
There are thirty-eight million men
under arms. Twenty-seyen million al
lies: eleven million central powers
| Two thirds of human race Is involved
Twenty times az many men under
arms than in any previous war. There
will be two and one-half million United
States soldiers and sailors under arms
by July l. This is a half million mors
than were under arms in any previoui
i war. Napoleon never saw q BATH
| fifteen miles long. The present battl,
line Of northern France alone is over
500 miles long.
This $s5,oo0,ooo fund means tina
there viii be a building, or so-callet
unit for every brigade (about 1901
men). The buildings are centers To-
all social. religious and edncations
work Of camp and field. Three hun.
dred buildings and 1000 secretaries ar
now in the camps Of this coaT:Eyst. HHsy-
i hundred buildings and 1000 secretar.
les will be needed by spring.
il A held unit Of the z, ~. g. A con