davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
Boys From Camp
Merritt Treated
(Continued from page y

\OOuIluucu lIOtu Pd6O ~
Mr.. Carson opened the program with
his inimitable rendition Of casey at
the Bat" which the soldiers all en-
joyed because one Of their number
bore that name. His recitation
caught the crowds amidships.
Mrs. Middleton sang some patrio-
tic songs during the feast, and was
,oundly applauded.
Edgar and Ayers Darby gave one
of their laughable black face sketches
entitled "Kaiser Bill, or Why Boys
Leave Home" They were at their
best, and their songs and persifage
were greatly enjoyed. Many of their
hits about the war caused great joy
to the soldiers, especially their refer
ence to Kaiser Bill. The Darbys are
always popular favorites, and did
themselves proud on this occasion.
An interesting event of the evening
was the "three cheers" given by the
visiting "Our Boys" for Mrs. Lucas
unde- the lead Of Secretary Burns, Of
the camp Merritt Y. M. C. A.
The visitors were from Base Hos
pital Corps &C, Medical Department
u. s. A.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
Mince Pie As
Is Mince Pie

Last night, when "The Palisadian"
forms were being put on the press
ready to be printed, and everybody
was busy and slightly hungry, as they
had missed their dinner in their en-
deavor to have the sheet on the street
on schedule time, Mr.. Logan, editor,
came in the shop laden with a big
package, and said:
"Here boys, is a mince pie from
Mrs. Logan"
Soon after, during a respite, the
pie was cut up and distributed among
the boys. In less than ten minutes
the huge pie had disappeared from
view.
We are all wondering now whether
anybody had ever tasted better mince
pie than the one we killed. We doubt
it very much. Gosh, it was delicious.
A regular humdinger. The way it
disappeared from view down the fell
lows throats would make anybody
sit up and take notice. They had the
pie eating champion beat mile. 1t
actually melted in your mouth, SO
you see it wasn't any trouble at all
to make it vanish quickly.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08

Mary Gates. What are you reading
dear?
John Gates: A sermon.
M. c.: Who wrote it?
J. G. (gloomily): A young man.
M. G.: You don't seem to enjoy it.
J. G. Shortly: I'm not humorist.
Besides, it's sermon, or supposed to
be sermon, and we mustn't read SER
mons as we do editorials in Punch.
Respect for the cloth, my dear.
M. G.: There, there! Do read some
thing else. There's a splendid thing
in
J. G. desperately: l can't. I've
not only got to read it but I've got to
tell the young man who wrote it what
l think of it.
M. G.: Well, tell him. Maybe it
will do him good.
j. G.: But / can't tell him.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
"A Pair OF Queens
Al B. F. Keith's
Hudson Theatre

"a Pair of Queens" said to be full
of mirth provoking situations and
teeming with fun, will be the attrac-
tor offered at the Hudson by the
clever Keith Players next week.
The story revolves about a shoot
ing incident at cabaret performance
when Peter Cranky, banker, and
John Shelby, his brother-in-law, are
attending a mythical meeting of bank
directors.
Cranky escapes in the excitement,
leaving his overcoat behind him and
by mistake carrying with him the
coat of the wounded man.
Cranky makes this discovery just
as his wife arrives home from vaca-
ton trip, and the police get on his
trail.
The action takes place in the Cranky
home,, and in their efforts to screen
Chai.by and Shelby, with the aid of
Mrs. Cranky and Martha, house.
maid, affairs are beautifully mixed.
Polly Webb and Madge Toilette, the
women to whom Cranky and Shelby
had been devoted at the time of the
fracas, turn up at Cranby's home to
mix up matters still more. Madge
finds the wounded mans overcoat, re-
moves the $4,000 contained in wal
let she finds in pocket, hides it in
her garter and, on being arrested by
detectives, throws it into waste
basket where it is later found by the
maid.
This detectives appropriate it after
making ludicrous search for Cranky
and Polly obtains possession of the
money and all evidence discriminating
Cranky and Shelby and the detectives
are foiled and the innocence of the
susected banker established.
The farce abounds in laughable sit.
uations, and many Of the lines are OF
the kind that have become bywords
wherever the play has been presented
Jack Roseleigh, Dorothy Shoemak-
err, Jessie Pringle, Joseph Lawrence,
Betty Brown, and every other member
of the company will be seen in the
cast.
The attraction to follow "a Pair
of Queens" will be George Broad
bursts great play erich Man, Poor
Man."
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
Red Cross Drive.
CONTINUED from page y

Continued from page u
the Red Cross in this drive will re-
eeive q transparent window-sheet to
be hung in the window of his home
As additional members Of the family
join the organization small Red Cros-
ses are to be pasted on the transpar-
ency. On Christmas Eve lighted can
dies will be placed directly behind the
transparency to illuminate the Red
Cross. Church bells will toll from
1880 to 8 o'clock on Christmas Eve in
honor of the organization and its
work Of mercy.
The campaign opened on Saturday,
December /. Meetings will be held
in Rutherford, Sunday; Hackensack
Monday and New Brunswick, Tuesday.
Rev. Robert Davis of Englewood,
N. j., who has been at the front, will
tell vivid story of what he saw
there. He is one of the best speakers
in the state.
A host of four-minute takers will
be at work during the entire cam
paign.
Five hundred thousand workers in
this state will be sought in the prelim-
mary drive.
Day and night meetings VIII be
held and every Red Cross member in
the state is expected to work in the
campaign through the local chapters.
The following is the Red Cross
Christmas pledge:
Our Christmas Greed.
/ believe, with all my heart and
soul, in the Brotherhood Of Man.
I believe that theh ighest duty Of
Mankind is to aid the suffering.
believe the American Red Cross
to be our Nations strong right arm
in this respect.
believe we shall emerge from this
crucble of fire a purer and better
world and shall realize the spirit of
the holidays, "Peace on earth, good
will to men,"
I pledge myself to make every eff
fort and to make every sacrifice to
this end, and gladly promise to be-
como worker in the American Red
Cross Christmas Membership Drive,
December II to December "a, 1917.
This Red Cross Christmas campaign
should be one of the most wonderful
campaigns New Jersey has ever wit
messed.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
Current Topics.
BY Anthony Gross.
For "The Palisadian."

For "The Palisadian." 8f
Strange Career Of Carl Shurz.
This war has been filled with
strange anomalies, and the strangest
Of them is the attitude Of the aver
age German American of the second
generation. Take for instance, Carl
Schurz's son. The old man, as we
all know, was sentenced to be shot
for revolutionary tendencies. He
made his escape, came to this coun-
try, and here he had accorded to him
the opportunity for growth, expansion
and fame. He was successfully min
lister to Spain, and General in the Civil
war, Senator from the State of Mis-
souri,, and member Of Hayes's Cab
met. He wound up his wonderful
career as the Editor of the New York
Evening Post. When he wanted to
return to his native land, Bismarck,
who was then the ruling power in
Germany, only granted permission af-
ter the urgent appeal of our State
Department, and then permission was
granted for only limited stay. One
would think, in view Of these facts,
that the son, with full knowledge Of
his fathers experiences, would be
strongly pro-Democratic, to say the
least, yet strange to relate, this man
is intensely pro- German. cannot &C.
count for it upon any other basis, ex-
cept that Of insanity. ! leave it to
the reader to analyze the situation
with these facts before him. y
There have not been very many
good war stories told, or at least none
that have come to my attention up to
this date, but here is one worth re-
lating. A Russian Jew was taken
prisoner by the Germans, and wrote
home to his wife, as follows:
"Dear Becky:
I am very happy here. have all
the liquor l can drink, all the tobacco
want to smoke, all the food that i
can wear, and altogether my surround
ings are very happy indeed.
Affectionately,
KEY.
P. S.-Those who thought different
ly were shot yesterday" IS
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08

and fascinating. The operators are
allowed frequent rest periods, which
they spend in a sunny and coy room
provided for their use. They may al
so secure their lunches at cost In q
dining room maintained in the CEN
trail Office building. In addition, it
gives young women an opportunity to
serve their country in very material
way, for the furnishing Of telephone
service is as important as the manu-
facture of munitions.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
EARTH TREMBLEs.-Ed.

"In the midst Of the world war Ger
many lies like q peaceful garden Of
God behind the wall Of her armies.
Then the poet hears the giant strides
of the new armor-clad Gerbany; the
earth trembles, the nations shrek, the
old era sinks into ruin. Formerly
German thought was hut up in her
corner but now the world shall have
its coat cnt according to German
measure, and as far as our swords
fash and German blood flows the
circle of the arth shall come under
the tutelage Of German activity
Poem by Fritz Philippi, entitled
"World- Germany" o., p. 40
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
G.: Don't be foolish. OF course

M. G.: Don't be foolish. OF course
you can.
J. G.: can't. A respectable col
lege president isn't supposed to use
that kind of English, much less ad-
dress it to very young and very i'm
questionable clergyman.
M. G.: Fiddlesticks! It will do him
good. Has he preached it yet!
J. G.: l think he has. Wait, I'll
look at his letter. (He consults the
Lottery Well-he does say something
about it-but he doesn't make it quite
clear
M. G.: Why did he send it to you
anyhow?
J. G. Consulting the letter AGAIN.:
He-isnt quite clear about that either.
M. G. (impatiently): Well, for good
ness sake, what does he say in the
sermon?
j. G.: My dear, the sermon is less
clear than the letter. It's profound
piffle! / have notion (smiling sig
nificantly)-I say ! have q notion
that his parishioners suspect he isn't
very good American, and that this
is his answer.
M. G.: Well, doesn't he at, least
make that clear?
J. G.: Very. He isn't-a good Am
erican.
M. G.: But maybe he thinks he is.
J. G. (rather doubtfully): It's
possibility.
M. G.: What are you going to write
him? a
J. G. with feeling): O, I'd like to
use strong language.
M. G. (admiringly): Do!
J. G. (cynically): My dear, it won't
do. (He leans back and joins his
forefngers meditatively) My dear, |
shall tell the young mani shall tell
the young man it's duck of a SER
mon, but not to do it again.
M. G. (apprehensively): But he
won't understand.
J. G. (smiling wickedly): His par
ishioners will.
(Curtain).
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08

Persons: John Gates, president Of a
mid Western college.
Mary Gates, his wife.
Place: A study.
Time: Within memory.
Curtain rises on John Gates, seat
ed at study desk, scowling over man.
uscript. His wife, also seated, knits
laboriously. She pauses.)
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08

Once upon time man gave girl
an engagement ring set with opals.
And after she married him he dis
covered that opals are unlucky.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
The Pacifst's DUN
Cosy Corner.
For the Comfort and Edification
of the Little Group"
CRITICIZING PREACHERS
A Sketch
With Apologies to B. Shaw.

For "The Palisadian."
TEXT: New York Times, Dec. 3,
1917: "The Federal Council Secretary
Thought the Sermon Patriotic and
Not Pacifstic, But the Other Two
Gave Opinions Not Unlike That of the
Philadelphia Jurist Who Said the Ac-
cused Was Not Guilty, But Must Not
Do 1t Again"
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08

You never know when you are 60.
ing to stub your own toe. So if you
know Of anything that would bring dis
grace to any man or woman, forget it
and keep on forgetting it.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1917-12-08
Present Version.
From Life.)

Stella-Did he pay you compli-
ment2
Bella-Yes, he said ! looked sweet
enough not to eat.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13
Brooklyn Scouts to Plant
Crops in Prospect Park

On two acres of land in the midst OF
Prospect Park, Brooklyn, roses and viO-
lets and hollyhocks will give way to
potatoes and corn this summer. Park
Commissioner Raymond V lngersoll
agreed yesterday to allow members of
the Boy Scouts to cultivate the two
acres as a demon tration garden.
The land will be ploughed and har-
rowed for the boys by the Park Depart
ment. and the Brooklyn Council Of Boy
Scouts will provide the seed and the
workers The boys will plant, care for
and harvest the crop. One acre will be
put in corn, the other in potatoes.
The work Will be under the direction
Of Scoutmaster Lester Harrison, Of
Troop p. Brooklyn The planting will
begin in a week. Mr.. Harrison's troop
is listing this week all the vacant prop
erty in the Bedford section Of Brook
Ign and will seek permission TO put it
all under cultivation. Other Scout
troops in Brooklyn intend to do the
same work.
Dr.. Charles c. Boldnan. Of the Edu-
cational Department of the Department
of Health. issued pamphlets to the 20,-
600 teachers in all boroughs yesterday,
advising the instruction of their pupils
in gardening. An effort Will be made TO
obtain hundreds of vacant lots through
out the city for the children TO cult
vate during their summer vacation.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13
Farm, Loans Reflect
Food-Raising Campaign

Washington. April T.. The govern
meut'- appeal 20 the farmers 10 put
forth extraordinary efforts TO increase
food production on account OF the wa
has brought a food Of new appllca-
tious for loans 10 the Federal Farm
Loan Bureau.
Reports from tho twelve Federal
Land BANKS indicate that the farmer
viii call for about Sl25O00,0 600 worth
Of these per cent loans this year,
all Of which money Will be made avail
able TO enable the farmer succes fully
90 meet the war emergency.
The money which Is loaned to farm
crs is procured by the sale Of farm
loan bonds. The bonds bear AZ per
cent interest. The Federal Farm Loan
Board has already made plans 70 float
about 500. 100000 Of these bonds. The
Fcdcr-l Farm Loan Board announces
,..- D. believes the farm loan bonds
VIII find "a ready sale because they
bear rate per cent higher than the
war bonds and because they are
backed by the farm land values Of the
country; they are exempt from all
form Of taxation; the bonds OF each
Of the twelve Federal Land Banks are
Endorsed by all the other eleven banks,
and every dollars worth Of bonds rep
rcsents two dollars worth Of care
fully appraised farm land as security.
The Federal Farm Loan Board urges
that II is Just as much a matter OF
patriotism to buy these farm loan
bonds as to buy the war bonds. be-
cause this money will be used to
finance the American farmer and en-
able him to meet the demand for in
creased food production.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13
America n eeds
Workers at Home,
Says President
Wants Only Those Who Can Be
Spared to Join Fight
ing Forces

Warrington. April j.. President
Wilson, replying 90 offers of members
Of Congress and other officials 90 serve
N tho army. has declared his belief
that working the civil departments Of
government ct this time is Just as i'm
pcrtant as military activity. The Ad-
rinistration holds that tho United
States can do its part toward defeating
Germany only by attaining utmost cf-
hciency in all branches Of the national
life.
Many members Of both houses Of
Congress and some important officials
have written TO the President propos-
ing to resign their posts and serve in
the army and navy Many of them
have had previous military service.
Leaders i'm various industrial ACTIVE
tics who have written 10 tho President
and members Of the Cabinet on the
subject also have been informed that
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13

'hc government view is that only men
VINO can be spared from their usual &C
tIvitics should join the fighting forces.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13

agricultural body in each state, and
county urban and other local bodies.
Detailed recommendation arc made
for increasing tho acreage in spring
wheat in tho Northern states, the corr
area. and the production Of oats
sorghum, barley, buckvhea,, navy
beans. potatoes. sweet potatoes. pea.
nuts and animal products.
Compulsory Farming Urged
"Ouc Of tho principal limiting clo-
meflts Of food production" IL Is do
clared, rs the labor supply on the
farm. The plan for public defence
hould include as definite a provision
for enlistment for food supply as for
service at the front.
More than two million boys between
tho ages OF fifteen and nineteen years
IN tho cities and towns not now engaged
in productive work vital 10 the nation
constitute the most important labor
resource, hitherto unorganized and un-
utilized, but available for this emcr-
Sency.
The plan for military enlistment
should he broadcned TO include IN the
national service those who. by reason
Of their age or physical condition, are
permanently or temporarily incapaci-
tated for active military duty. but who
are able 10 render the government
equally indispensable service m the
production of food, supplies and mum
tions. This enlistment should include
three classes Of men men beyond mill
tary age. men of military age but not
accepted for active military duty and
boys under age for enlistment"
When directed by tho President. II
is added. the Secretary Of Agriculture
should have power. after advising with
the Council Of National Defence as 10
the necessity Of such a step. 20 take
over and operate such businesses ne
may be warranted. i'm manner similar
10 roccivership.
"1ho fixing of maximum or minimum
prices need not be undertaken az thu
time the resolutions declare. but tho
fact that such a course may become
necessary in the future makes advisable
the creation Of agencies which will
facilitate government action when the
necessity may arise.
I'VE appeal also to the youth OF the
nation TO put forth every effort 20 pro
duce foodstutfs IN gardens and fields
There could be no better expression OF
true patriotic devotion TO the country.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13


Albany. April 70 School children
Of New York may bc modified TO help
tI tho demand for the 100000 mon
hat the farmers Of the state say they
need 20 husband their crops. Elon Il.
Brown. majority leader IN tho state
senate. said to-day that he would iu-
troduce a bill providing for tho mobi-
lization Of all boys able and willing TO
do farm work during the summer
Other plans for increasing the food
production Of the state arc crystalliz-
'ng rapidly. Governor Whitman is
eager 60 make New Yorks prcpara-
tons Tor war as efficient as possible,
and is boz close touch with the Federal
authorities concerned I'D the problem.
The state Agricultural Society VII
hold meeting here tomorrow. which.
10 is believed. viii result lu closer 90
operation between the state and the
farmers.
at happens now that the success or
failure OF our country In the ptuli-C
struggle depends as much upon our
capacity 90 produce the ncCcsearIoe Of
life FOR the support Of our own people
and Of our allies as upon any other
one thing, and perhaps that Will be
tho vital determining factor" sod
Senator Brown, In introducing his Bill.
1T is necessary that all Of the poo
pie Of the State Of New York should
understand. and that all the people Of
the United States should understand.
that n man would be patriotic or
If q child would be patriotic he sholld
limit his consumption and increase his
production TO the utmost. and ! pro-
pose. before this Senate closes, to Of
fer a bin for the cons Iteration Of the
legislature which will, during the
tendency Of this war, relate oar
schools to the compulsory educational
provisions so that such children as
are able and are disposed NAV dur
ing this war engage in agricultural
labor
81 am perfectly acquainted with The
situation in that respect, and speak
of no imaginary condition of affairs.
] know that hundreds of thousands of
dollars worth. and perhaps millions
of dollars worth. Of crops were wasted
in the State Of New York for the lack
Of agricultural labor 10 harvest thom
and more lost from lack of agrlcu.t-
ural labor to plant them. and / there
fore think it is a matter not only Of
the highest privilege that every child
should share the patriotic spirit Of
the country. and they more than we,
because they are going TO have to meet
the problems of the future.
1T is matter of practical appl.ca-
ton that the children of the country
should understand that many of them
can. and should. to their capacity.
help bear the burden of the country
At this time; and if YOU are to give
me a man who viii be a citizen worth
having give me man who, when he
was r. boy. wanted TO be and was
patriot
The Administration hopes to be able
10 apply some remedy to growngly
alarming situation through co0pera-
ton with the farmers as a result OF
the census Of material resources Of
the state 10 be made in conjunction
with the census of man-power author
lied by the Robinson law. Such
census will be conducted by the Re
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-13
u. S. Unable to Use
Offer of Wool Trade
Prices Swing Upward as Mar
ket Reopens After
Conference

Boston. April 12.-The Boston Wool
Trade Association. which two weeks
ago suspended business in order to
take an inventory of all stocks on hand
and offer the supply to the United
States from patriotic motives at prices
prevailing on April ?, to-day was m
formed by committee Of the asSocla.
ton that the offer had been declined
at Washington The committee re-
ceivcd the following letter from Der
rard VI. Baruch, chairman Of the com
mittee on raw materials Of the Ad-
visory Commission Of Council of Ma
tional Defence:
I'm view Of the facts as related to
Is. ! think it would be unwisc and un-
fair to longer defer decision on the
magnificent offer Of the wool dealers
i'm Boston. Philadelphia, New York, Chi
cago and st. Louis. 1t does not seem