The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1917-02-23

4
You don't sayr'
"Yes.-The paper simply couldn't ex.
list without him."
| THAT so? Queer Colonel Starbuck
never told me anything about him.
unused the caller.
"Ch, you know the colonel. do your
asked Blake.
"Yes. we're what might call slight
ly acquainted. l had little business
transaction with him the other day"
"SolI you gold brick, suppose"
and Barney winked humorously at the
rest OF the STAFF.
| Don't know yet whether 1t will turn
out to be gold brick or not Reckon
| shan't worry any If it does. I've In
vested in gold bricks before, and the
way | figure 1t it's nobody's business
but my own II do it again.
"Oh, ! see," said Barney smoothly.
"a tri6e touchy on the gold brick ques-
ton. eh. Mr.-er-Hayseed, Is it?"
Not quite. Hayden happens to be
my name. Didn't make quite as slick a
guess as you did on the Horace. But
go ahead and call me Hayseed If you
like. You can remember that name
better than Hayden probably, and
guess it fits me about as well as the
other. anyhow. Don't it strike you
that way?''
"Oh, no, you're no hayseed! You're
right from Chicago or New York city
anybody could tell that from the cut
Of your jib!' And Barney again passed
the wink to the others, who all felt in
duty bound to roar at the managing
EDITORS wit.
mice, genial staff you've got. Chuck
full of fun, amt they? l hope they're
not laughing at me. Hain't got
back, have II"
That's all right, Uncle Horace"
purred Barney. Don't go to getting
excited. The boys are just spelling for
little fun-been working under steam
pressure tOday-but none of them would
ever be guilty of--er-by George, they
have, just the same! But 1t doesn't
read, please Kick Me- 1t says, We're
From the Farm And If l only knew
the deep dyed villain who pinned 1t on
you I'd discharge him this instant-yes.
sir, this very instant-and I'd tell him
not to come around again until tomor-
row morning." he added in a stage
whisper as he stepped around behind
the rural looking visitor and removed
the offending sign, deity replacing it
by another handed him by one of the
crowd, reading, "Turnips For Sale"
There; that looks better" observed
Barney, at which everybody roared
promptly once more.
mot quite so much levity, boys" said
Barney reprovingly. II am going to
show our friend here through the Ar
gus establishment, and l want to see
how well you can behave WHILE
Biff!
A big wad of paper came sailing
across the Office and carOmed on the
ear of the caller.
THAT was our baseball editor who
did that" explained Barney coolly.
Force Of habit. suppose. He proba-
bly, imagined he was throwing ball ut
first base Don't let that happen again.
Higgins"
"All right, sir" glibly responded the
young man who had thrown the paper.
Mistake, anyhow. / was aiming at
the wastebasket."
well seeing you've apologized. it is
all right" said Barney. with mock So
lemnity.
"Now, Mr.. Hayseed-I should say
Hayden-you have already been intro
duced to our baseball and society edi-
tors, and If you will cast your optics
over the rest of the collection of gen.
fuses before you will enlighten you as
to their duties, so that when you go
back to the farm you will understand
the seoeet of the Argus success in
gathering and disseminating the daily
news Of the entire world, including the
city and county Of Boomopolis.
1.-THE exceedingly tall, thin young
man with the short hair and promi
nent ears is Mr.. Perkins, our secret
service reporter and war correspond
ent His build, as you will notice, fits
him Admirably for the position. He is
so thin he can crawl over a transom
without the slightest difficulty"
"You don't sayw
Fact, / assure you. And that is
why thin man has marked advan-
tage over a 200 FOUNDER. 1t requires
less gas to carry him, and IL he falls
from balloon it doesn't muss him UP
so much as it would n fat man, there
by effccting big saving i'm doctors
bills for repairing broken ribs, ETC."
Il see. Quite an idea. that"
Yes. and. besides. thin man occu-
pies less space and leaves more room |
in the basket OF the balloon for the |
wireless message apparatus. You sec,
as fast as the war correspondent In n |
balloon gets message ready to send |
in to the paper he grinds it out OH n
wireless sending machine, something |
like a photograph, and it goes flying |
off into space until it strikes the Aerial |
Wireless Telegraph line, over which it |
whizzes through the air with almost |
lightning speed until 1t reaches the |
Argus office. 1t would do you good to |
see our Office boy catching the mes
sages in a wire basket as they come |
flying In ut the window"
"Well, wellI"