The St. Joseph observer. [volume] (St. Joseph, Mo.) 1906-1932, 1917-05-26
THEY DO NOT
COME BACK

"These are dark days for the horse"
said the old liveryman, but he will
come back. Man can never invent
anything that will permanently take
the place Of the horse. People will
get tired of buying gasoline for auto
mobiles, after a while, and then the
horse will have his turn again" THE
horse is been" observed the mo-
tary public, "and has-beens never
come back. Whenever an institution
of any kind Is being backed off the
map, the friends and admirers OF that
institution talk as you do about the
horse, and they always lose out, Away
back i'm the morning of history, men
went down to the sea in ships that
were propelled by oarsmen. The oars
men usually were slaves, or citizens
who had been convicted in the police
court. They had no rockpiles then.
and if a taxpayer filled himself with
red vinegar, and then went home and
beat his wife, and manhandled the
furniture, the urbane jurist before
whom he appeared in the morning,
would give him 3 months, or maybe 1 0
years. on a galley. The hardy marin
ers of that time thought it was a great
business, pushing a ship along with
oars The speed fairly made their
heads swim, and they were satisfied
that no better method would ever be
discovered. When sails were intro
duced they were boisterous in their
mirth. Sails would do well enuf. to
help out the oarsmen when the wind
was blowing in the right direction, but
no one but a fathead would depend
upon them for a long journey. Yet in
a little while sails had superseded the
old plan, and the oarsmen had to get
Jobs as fruit tree agents. The sailing
ship had everything it's own way for
more than 1000 years. 1t was the
unanimous opinion of all who follow
ed the sea that it had come to stay.
Then man went to work and invent
ed steam. or at least he invented a
machine that steam would operate and
it was claimed that this engine would
drive ships and wagons and all sorts
of conveyances faster and farther than
they ever went before It is easy to
imagine the scorn and ribald merri-
ment of the old salts. The idea of try
ing to travel over the briny deep with
out sails! Could anything be more rid
iCulOus? Steamboats, were introduce
ed, and they worked all right, but the
old timers said they would fizzle out.
They were mere playthings, and dang
erOus ones at that. People would soon
discover that they were false alarms.
and then the sailing ships would come
into their own again. But you know
what happened. There are a few sail
ing ships left, but they are almost as
lonesome as driving horses or kero-
Sene lamps. II was the general belief
that wood was the only proper mater
ial for ships. There were many fine
old songs about hearts of oak, and
wooden walls, and all that kind of
thing; and the old timers raised
howl of derision when somebody said
iron ships would be better than wood
en- ones. That was the most idiotic
idea! Anybody could see that an iron
! ship, if it didn't go to the bottom
would be too heavy to navigate. Yet
! the wooden ship has Joined the trot-
| ting horse and the tallow candle and
all the other back numbers. Nothing
! ever comes back when it has been Of
| fiCially declared a has-been. The set
ting hen used to be considered an asset
before the incubator was discovered,
but now she's considered a liability,
and is ducked in a tub Of water."-
Walt Mason.