The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1917-09-06
SUNBEAMS
Dear friends: -

=.
hunted diligently. But luck wa
'agin' me. Toward night / was re
turning to camp, heart-sick, foot-sor'
and wearn and then / saw dec
standing hroadside on in easy range
Breathing a silent prayer Gust &
steady my nerves. cracked dowi
on him and he fell dead. Rushing
up / was, about to cut its throat wher
! heard buzzing noise. On looking
around l found that my bullet lat
ter passing through the deer) had
hit bee hive full of honey. The
honey was running out and !, hastily
stopped to get stick to plug the
hole and caught rabbit Angrily
flung the rabbit from me and with il
killed six quail. Completely over.
joyed at my good luck ! snatched
my cap from my head, swung il
around and caught three snipe. Did
l get the job? How can you ask
such question.
Some one has asked what effect
the chewing of gum has on the stom'
ach. Well, now that all depends on
whose stomach is meant. Me? 0, 1t
always makes me ill by my stomach
to see anybody 'chawing gum
There's only one thing to be said in
favor of the habit. Its use is con-
fined principally to the women and
while their jaws are occupied 'chaw-
in gum they don't talk so much.
Another one wants to know why
strawberries disagree with some peo-
pie. would say that it is not so
much the berries that disagree as It
is the price of said berries. ~
Still another would like to know If
fried chicken is healthy for break
fast. Now that all depends on how
successful you are the night before in
stepping the no. 6's which thu
farmer sent along to help you over
the fences. Yes, it all depends.
g. read of man who wanted to be
exempted from war because he had
to support his mother-in-law. Now,
by golly, l claim it takes more grit
to do that than it does to face a
firing squad. The examining board
thought he would be safer in the
trenches and kindly refused to allow
him to sacrifice his life Cat home).
Another fellow said he was no good
as a soldier because he had fits. /
opine that a good many of the boys
will have fits the first day or so, but
after that / rather suspect the Ger
mans will think they have the rabies
and won't stand on the order of go
ing, but 60 at once.
They say one attraction at coun-
ty fair somewhere in Missouri) this
year will be three-legged pig.
Now wouldn't that stop your clock?
Why two-legged hogs are very CON-
mon in this section and have seen
several game hogs. Talk about at
fractions, umph.
Just as ! go to press this question
arrived. why do have no thirst
for water?" Possibly one reason is
that this party was bred in old Ken
lucky where water is used only tor
washing automobiles or he may have
(Which is more likely been living
down where the Budwiser flows.
Don't be alarmed, your appetite will
soon demand water. You will have
your choice of going bone dry or
drinking water. You have pervert-
ed taste which will soon disappear
as you will be unable to procure the
wherewithal to appease it.
T'other day / got notice from The
Times to come in and pay up. Now.
what do you think of thatl Q, yes,
I'm behind, four or five years on my
subscription and 'spose' ! should
60 in and pay up, give the editor a
'cussin' and stop my paper, What
10 Il an editor for anyway If he amt
aecommodatin'. That's the way
most people talk. Not mel. The ed
itor gives Us his best So times year
and he needs and should have his
money promptly and anybody who
takes Z paper and refuses to pay for
= is in the same class of folks
made mention of recently. Az for me
/ propose TO be more careful in the
futpre. 8
And that reminds mel heard OF
: man who was in arrears six yeafs
on his subscription. His eonscience
(eyidently) snaote him and be weat
= and paid up not only that but he
SAsa afnnA Cor five vAAra e0uld