The Washington herald., 1917-06-17
C.L.NEARLY SOLVED /!
BY THIS FISHERMAN
Law Takes Hand and He'll Fish
No More.

Abraham Beach is the "fishingest"
man IN town-by necessity, not by pro-
fession- Last week Beach found him
self out OF a job, with wife and sew
eral children to feed. So he hired a
boat and started to dip shad in the
river, hipking that II he couldn't buy
groceries he could at least catch fish
and eat them. He was arrested.
Beach thought over his predicament
and wondered where he would get
money TO pay his fine. So he decided
TO fish some more and sell the fish to
paw the law. He was arrested again.
Now, with two fines facing him he
stin believed his salvation lay in the
river. Once more he dipped for shad,
and was arrested a third time. What
was the law when man and his fam
lily are hungry? mused Abraham. In
police court yesterday morning Judge
Pugh reminded him that the fishing
Is still good at Occoquan.
But I have a family and Job In
sight" protested Beach. He proved
that he did. and promised the court
10 forget where the Potomac River
was, and not to violate the fishing
laws again. He was put on probation.
Naughty, Charlotte, and Very Rude!
She sat in the movies watching
the gallant soldier hero rescue the
heroine from the clutches Of the Mexi-
can bandits. She hugged herset,
Charlotte Willis did, and wished that
il was she. The show over she wan
dered forth, and almost in frOHt OF
her was a natural guardsman," as
she called him. and he was almost
the image of the hero in the picture.
Charlotte eyed him just as other
maids eye their heroes, and he spoke
TO her.
But, alas. Charlotte had a hubby
and several little ones. The soldier
was very shocked to hear this sad
hill. hn fa11fn Char
lotte about his hard luck in the mat
ter. friend husband walked up and
demanded an explanation. 1t was not
forthcoming, and he ordered his err
ring helpmeet home. When they ar
rived, Charlotte's hubby upbraided her
severely. Charlotte, becoming very
peeved, hurled a pitcher at her hus-
band. 1t didn't hurt him much, but
perfectly good S.9S pitcher was
smashed into a thousand pieces.
lice court yesterday morning, ana
Charlotte will have to scrape up so
or go TO Occoquan.
The Passing of Alexander.
Judge, I want to go to Occoquan."
said Alexander Griffith.
The court looked around at this ex-
tTaOrdinary request, somewhat puZ-
Zled. Most of the prisoners try all
sorts OF antics and give all sorts Of
cACuEcS 70 keep ITOm BOlHS llcIC-
Alright" replied the court. IF you
want to stay away from liquor for
thirty days, I think I can Oblige you"
Alexander had walked into the
police station Friday and asked to be
put away. No one knew where he
came from and could find no charge
TO lay against him. At his own re-
quest he was brought up in Police
Court and put in Storage for a month
to allow the liquor to get out OF his
system.
ImpuIsIye Mister Keys.
Impulsiveness almost cost Phillip
Keys his life, and a line for violating
the food and drug laws. A few days
ago Keys bought some bichloride of
mercury to wash an injured hand. He
dissolved one of the tablets in a glass
Of water, and somehow or another,
instead OF bathing his hand in it, used
II internally. Keys employer testified
that once before in a similar ex-
hibitiOn of impulsiveness the man had
swallowed a cup Of lye from a coffee
pot. thinking 1t was coffee
What the court wanted to know was
why KEYS didn't have discernment
enough to inform the hospital au-
thorities that he took the drug by
mistake. and not allow himself to be
brought into court on a charge of
obtaining a deadly poison on false
pretenses. Fortunately he did not
drink enough of the drug to kill him.
The court gave him the benefit OF the
doubt and dismissed the case.