The Washington herald., 1917-11-18
GOOD
MORNING
JUDGE
y
aUuourn
PeRdhS
Too Rough On the Girls

E<4A
Too Rough On the Girls
Dennis Upton has a room at the
same house as Eliza Hall Ever since
she came there Dennis has been sweet
on the lady.
The other day he called her as she
was going upstairs. He took her lit
tie hand gently in his big paw.
"Ah can't let yo hold nah hand"
she told him.
Maybe yo' CANT" answered Den
mrs, but All got 1t gil the samee."
"Yo' has dat, alright" replied
Eliza, but what would nah husband
say eff he saw yo'?"
Dennis thought a minute. He thought
another minute. Then he decided
ehat he hadn't heard Eliza say she
was married.
The girl jerked her hand away and
ran up the steps. Dennis was right
behind her. He grabbed her and tried
to kiss her.
But she wasn't to be kissed by the
likes Of Dennis. She hollered muir
der. Then she got a warrant.
Dennis said the girl wanted TO be
kissed. But the court couldn't see
any evidence Of it and fined him SO.
The High Cost of swiping.
One loaf of bread for S.
This sounds like Germany. but IT
happened in the United States.
Friday morning Edward Allen got
up real early. He had a reason. At
Fourteenth and r streets he removed
a whole loaf of bread from someone's
doorstep.
He had 30 cents in his pocket, suffi-
cient to buy a real big loaf, had he
wanted to buy one.
Ed told the court he was saving
money TO bring his family here from
Georgia.
Then he was caught with the loaf.
he offered to pay the people for H.
but they refused to sell II.
There was a grocery store around
the corner. Why didn't he go there
and buy one?
And so the court assessed him s. for
swiping a Decent loaf of bread, and
even then he didn't get the bread, as
it was sent back where it came from.
Hoo!
Every morning. SO his wife says.
George Carter would get up about :
o'clock. perch himself on the edge OF
the bed and hoo like an owl.
Before November came around,
wifey didn't think so much about 1t.
She knew George took a little nip oc-
casionally.
But since that time he has been do
ing the same thing. Thursday night
she threw a shoe at him.
He turned around and said hoo
You. you lazy. sleep-disturbin', no.
account scoundrel, she retorted.
Hoo" rejoined George.
That was all he said for several
hours. Another shoe hit him and he
kceled over.
George wasn't at all crazy, because
he remembered who hit and why she
hit him.
He just did those little tricks, wifey
said. TO aGgravate her. He hated TO
see her sleeping peacefully.
The court placed WHEY on probation
but told her never to hit George in the
head again. Something might hap
pen. A flood, for instance.
Some Fellows Are Sensitive.
"Jedge, NAH gal got mad wid me
cause All didn't take her Joyridlng.
All Gums oftah her in de machine en-
she stuck he nose up at me. An
axes her why she did it, en- she gib
me some lip
You mean she kissed you:" asked
the court Of Herbert Crane. charged
with striking Louise Connor..
NO, Jedge." answered Herbert,
wen All said lip All meant impu-
dence. She talked back to me-"
she has a right to talk back to
you il she wants to-" the court ad-
vised Herbert.
Herbert had taken so long to keep
his promise about the fiivver ride
that Louise got tired of waiting and
she lost all taste for him.
Louise said she wrote Herbert a
letter. calling of the trip, but he
said he didn't get it.
When she turned up her little nose
at the 1919 model that Herbert
brought around, il was too much for
his nervous system.
And just for his temper he was
fined SO.
Good Advice, Maybe.
"Jedge. wot is a poah man gonna
do wen he Gums home at night en-
sees de dirty breakfast dishes laying
in de sink en- his wife saddin' round
de Streets" asked Bruce Bailey Of
The court
pitch in and wash the dishes him.
self and cook his supper" answered
the court. This state of affairs
doesn't give you or any other man
permission to beat up a woman"
Dat man is telling a fib." spoke
up May Bailey. the wife. 'All day,
Jedge. All was washing clos en-
tryin' to earn some money TO buy
dat man a pair of shoes"
well, he has certainly treated you
mean, hasn't he?" the court remark
ed. Here you are. working for him,
and he beats YOU for doing it
EFF yO' only knowed, Jedge." con-
tinued May, 'wot An has to put up
wild from NAH husband. He is de
meanest man in Georgetown"
We'll" the court decided. "Tli
place him on probation this time and
if he hits you again 1 am going to
send him to Jail"