davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01
HE o IT MIXED.

The fish editor has received
the following story from a lady
who is a department editor On
a Chicago daily. She Wouches
for its veracity:
"You must be on your good
behavior this evening, George,
for the minister is to take dim
ner with u.s. said a Milwaukee
lady to her worser half as he
got home from his office in the
city last Thursday.
"What have you for dinner?"
queried the husband.
"Well, I know he is fond of
fish, SO I bought quite a string
Of small river fish, and several
larger ones from the dam"
"I'm not much at doing the
honors when we have a minister
at the table," said George
"but I guess we can get through
with it all right"
Half an hour later they were
seated at the table, and a bless
ing had been asked by the min
lister. 4 little %nervously the
head Of the family began dish
ing out the vegetables, and, turn
ing to the guest, said:
"Wll you have some Of the
little river fish, or would you
prefer some Of the dam big
fsh?"
The warning kick under the
table from his wife was unneces-
ksary He knew he had blunder-
ed, and cold beads of perspira,
ton started out on his forehead.
Il mean"-trying to repair
the error-"will you have some
Of the dam river fish or some OF
the big fshi'
Worse aud more of it, His
daughter slyly pulled his coat.
tail to bring him to his senses
"That is, would you like some
Of the river fish or some Of the
other dam fish,"
The deep carnation spreading
over the good lady's face didn't
mend matters a bit, and with a
gasp he plunged in once more
"Ahem! which Of the dam
fish do you prefer snyway9"
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01

LIVE OF NAOMI WISE. L tru,
story Of . beautiful girl ana how shs
waa killed By Jonathan Lewis I,
Randolph, Co, n. c., about 100 ysar-
ago, We include the song OF "Naom
WISE with the Book which 10 ue&tl,
printed and substantially boana. al
sent postpaid for Is cents
NEWSUM BOOK CO., S16 Newsuu
Bldg, King, n. O.
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01
""COMFORT'''
Dear Friends:

Some of you know me, and some Oh
you DON'T. So I take the liberty to in
troduce myself to the readers Of The
FoOl-killer. / am the Editors wife.
The above picture Of me was made
about twelve years ago., before I got
sick. For the past ten or eleven years
I have been almost an invalid most
of the time, and I have suffered more
than words can tell. Doctors and
medicines failed to do me any r
manent good; but by careful dieting
and strict attention to all the known
laws Of health. I have managed dur
ing the past few months to improve
my condition a good deal.
| can't do any regular work yet.
but I like to have some interesting
and useful thing to work at and think
about whenever I feel like it. So /
have undertaken to become a club
raiser for COMFORT" the we'll
known family magazine, my object be-
ing to compete for a valuable prize
which is offered to the person who
sends in the largest number Of sub
%scr1ptions by a certain date.
Nc doubt most of you r well &C.
quainted with COMFORT, SO it needs
n 0 Introduction. If you are already
takingg the magazine and expect to
renew some time soon, please send
your renewal to me. Or il you will
get up a club and send to me I will
appreciate it very" much. I will
handle your money and your names
carefully and send them straight on
to COMFORT. I won't get anything
N,Y% ~ e avn1~A $L4 oIra-4nr1 80 la-
ing your count on my list to-
ward winning the prize.
Knowing that you are all good
friends to my husband, the editor OF
The Fool-Killer, / thought you might
be glad to do this little favor for his
sick wife. If you will all help me just
a little I a easily win the prize that
/ SO much desire. Please help me
win, dear friends. You are my only
hope In this matter and I am depend
ing on you.
The subscription rates OF CON-
FORT are as follows:
One Year rs cents.
Three Years 80 cents.
Six Years 800
COMFORT 10 a large and interest
ing monthly home magazine, contain
Ing Sc or more big pages each issue.
It 10 the best cheap magazine pub
lished. Every family ought to get It.
Please send me your own subscrip-
ton for as many years as you can, and
II possible send me a big club Of your
friends. Remember you are doing
this for q sick wonas whose life will
be made brighter and happier by your
kind deed. Surely each and every
friend OF The Fool-Killer will be glad
TO do this much tor me. Write all
names ana addresses very plainly and
send remittance by postofnce OR ex-
press money order, registered letter
or check, and make all orders payable
to-:
MRS. CORA PEARSON.
| BOOMER, N. g.
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01

In o Pennsylvania town recent
ly a pretty typewriter girl was
arrested for being too scantlly
dressed. Doggon! She must have
been one Of these-here "visible'
typewriters.
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01

Writing this "funny stuff" is q
serious matter with me. The med
icine it takes to make me smile is
a big fat club Of subscribers with
. little blue money-order enclosed.
Please tickle me.
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01

A woman will tell you her age
until she is Is after which she
doesn't consider it any Of your
business.
The fool-killer., 1917-01-01
A RINGTAuED T.

Ii 1 was the editor of that paper
that calls itself The Woman's
Home Weekly, hang-taked if II
wouldn't feel like crawling into
a hollow log and never showing
my head among decent people |
again. If that fellow ever had
anything in the shape Of a consci-
ence, he has evidently dropped
at In the barn lot and let the COWS
eat it.
In an issue Of that paper which
has just come to hand / notice a
combination Of advertisements |
that are an insult to both God and
the devil, to say nothing of every
intelligent reader.
First, there is a very modest
advertisement Of the Haines
Liquor Cure headed in big letters,
"Stop Whiskey." I have my
doubts about there being much
truth in the claims made for these
alleged Liquor Cures, but if there
is | wish them we'll. And so the
printing Of that ad is an insult to
the devil, because its object is to
weaken his business.
Then right in the very next
column, on the same page and al
most touching the other ad, is a
great spread-eagle ad Of a big
Likker House where the reader
can buy headache and delirlum
Gremens at a dollar per quart. It
is illustrated with bottles and jugs
and headed, "Try This Whiskey at
Our Risk" Which would be
impossible. The poor fool that
drinks it must do SO at his own
risk. He is the one who will get
the headache and the jimmies.
And besides that one, | counted
five other big likker ads in that
same issue, totaling IS inches of
space given to nasty likker ads
in one issue of a paper that claims
to be a "woman's paper" Gee
whiz, but they must think the
wimmen are terrible drinkers.
was going to say that was an in
suit to the wimmen, but maybe it
amt. Maybe they do buy and
drink the stuff, else how does
such advertising pay in their
paper1
But it certainly is an insult to
God, and to every woman who Is
worthy Of the same.
Some editors are like most folks
they are out for the Dollar, and
they would just as soon peddle
rot-gu for the devil as anything
else SO long as it brings in the
cash. But that amt the worst Of
it yet. If they would just pande'
to one side it wouldn't look sc
bad. But after advertising stuff
to make drunkards, they have the
nerve to turn right around anc
advertise something that claims
to cure drunkenness. Trying tt
serve two masters at the same
time and get a rake-of from botf
of them.
Such q person, be he an editor
or what not, ought to be skinned
with q dull knife and set up to his
neck in o tub Of brine.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Lutheran Aid Sale
Nets Over $500

The annual Lutheran Ladies
Aid sale and supper given last Sat
urday was we'll attended and big
success in every way.
During the afternoon the ladies
conduct a sale of fancy goods and
quite a lot of nice things were dis
posed of. In the evening a big
chicken supper was served, which
sure was some spread, and was
partaken of by nearly everyone in
town besides quite a number from
the country.
After supper was served Col.
Knapp, the auctioneer, proceeded
to dispose of the balance of the
fancy goods at auction sale and
done fine job. The proceeds of
the supper alone was $65.75 and
receipts of the sale of fancy work
was over $135.0O, bringing the to-
tai over $4,000
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Farmers Have
Good Meeting

The Circle local of the Dawson
County Cooperative Farm &Stock
Bureau held a very interesting
meeting last Wednesday. Mr..
Mendenhall, the agriculturist was
present and gave a good talk on
what the organization had done at
its annual meeting. The securing
of seed and feed oats for the COM
ing year is the most vital question
before local farmers at the present
time and the bureau is trying to
work out some plan to supply the
demand for next year, and farmers
should keep in touch with the
lureau so as to get in on it.
Five new members were secured
at the meeting, making the total
twenty members now.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Meeting The Seed
Problem In Montana

Bozeman, Montana, November,
26-In 10000 letters just sent out
by the extension department of
the Montana State college practi-
cally every farmer in Northern
Montana is asked to report on the
supply of seed he has on hand of
barley, flax, oat and wheat; the
amount he can sell, or the amount
he will need to buy. By these in
quiries it is hoped that the college
can get information about the seed
situation in Northern Montana in
ample time to take whatever mea-
sures may be necessary to insure
an adequate supply for every far
mer when he is ready to begin his
spring planting.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Fine Showing

Dawson made a fine showing ir
the Second Liberty Loan. F. H
Hughes, county chairman, states
that the exact figures are moi
known here but they total very
near 100000.
This is indeed a creditable show
ing when one considers the adverse
conditions that prevailed here this
year.
The state of Montana held to its
record established in the first loan
and greatly oversubscribed this
loan. The state was asked for
SIS, 100000 and close to $21, ,000,0 900
was Observation-Disclosures Glendive.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
ing to keep himself informed of
any call upon him and to return
Immediately upon call.

A Federal licence is now requir-
ed in the United States for the leg
al possession of explosives, any
person having explosives and not
holding a licence therefor being
subject to fine of $1,000 and i'm
prisonment for one year.
Only citizen of the United States
and friendly countries may obtain
licenses. The purchaser of dy-
Mantle must state definitely what
the explosive is to be used for
when obtaining his license, and
will be held accountable for its
ust as stated and the return of
any that may be left.
With the strict enforcement of
law the Federal authorities hope
to prevent explosives falling into
the hands of evilly disposed per-
son. and to put stop to all fur
ther dynamite plots.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
More Mailing Tax

Upon every parcel or package
tranported within the United States
by parcel post on which the post
age amounts to Is cents or more,
there shall be paid a tax of one
cent for each Is cents or fraction
thereof charged for the transpor-
tation, to be paid by the sender.
The tax referred to above does
not apply to parcels where t h e
postage is less than Is cents. Spe-
cial internal revenue stamps are
to be used for this purpose. Post
age stamps are not valid for such.
The internal revenue stamp used
for this purpose must be attached
and cancelled by the sender, plac-
ing or causing to be placed there
on his written or stamped initials,
together with the date ON which
the stamp is used.
Internal revenue stamps for this
purpose will be available at post
offices. The above parcel post
war tax takes effect on December
1st., 1917.
No such parcels will be dispatch
ed until the above regulations have
been properly complied with by the
sender.
The tax upon a parcel requiring
Is cents is one cent and from 26
to so cents the tax is 2 cents and
so on.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Take Exams For
Postmastership

The Civil Service examinations
for the position of postmaster at
the Circle office was held at Glen
dive last Wednesday and at least
four Circle parties went in to take
the examinations. Those taking
it were: C. R. Miller, ]. K. Lowell,
c. A. Daily and Hobert Mexican.
Postmaster McClatchie has ten
dered his resignation as he does
not care for the job any more.
When the new postmaster takes
charge Mr.. McClatchie plans to
take trip down south during the
winter and see how things are
down there, but will most likely
return to Circle, at least here's
hoping that he will.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Charter Granted
For First Natl

We have mentioned before that
the Redwater Valley State Bank
of Circle was to be converted into
National Bank and we now have
the pleasure of announcing that
Circle boasts of a First National
Bank, the charter being granted
last Friday.
The fact that Circle now boasts
ola First National bank speaks
well for the town and its future,
and something we may all well
feel proud of. Circle is today the
only inland town in the state of
Montana, that boasts of a National
bank, which is another fact well
worth consideration.
1t means much to any town to
be able to boast of a National bank
and especially an inland town the
size of Circle, but as usual Circle
takes the lead, even in the bank
ing business.
That the Redwater Valley Bank
was successful in securing charter
for a National bank, in spite of
keen competition for the privilege
of starting such a bank here,
speaks we'll for the officers and
stockholders of the bank, and the
manner in which the business of
the bank is conducted.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
New Auto Licenses

Automobile owners are sending
in applications, to the department
at Helena, f or licenses for 1918.
The new license numbers will be
ready for mailing by the first of
next month and every car must be
adorned" with the regulation two
plates by January 1st., next. The
application blank points out that
"Officers will take up all cars op-
Grated after Jan. l, 1918, without
1918 plates. Review, Glendive.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

Recent investigations in the
use of cotton in war show:
A Pinch gun disposes of half
bale of cotton with every shot
fired; a machine gun in operation
will use a bale in three minutes;in
a naval battle like the one off Jut-
land over 5000 pounds in a min
ute are consumed by each active
warship; more than 10000 bales a
year are needed to provide absor-
bent cotton for the wounds of the
injured; one change of apparel for
all the troops now engaged in the
war represents more than a mil
lion bales.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Ford Plant To Be
Devoted To War

Henry Ford will build no more
pleasure automobiles until the war
is over. He will devote his entire
plant to the production of war nee
essities, such as tractors, ambulanc-
es, aircraft engines a nd sh e Is.
Through his representative, c. H.
Wills, he has offered to discontinue
all the ordinary touring cars, and
small commercial trucks.-Minne-
apolis Journal.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Yes, Who Made Him?

Some people were made to be
soldiers,
But the Irish were made to be
cops,
Sauerkraut was made for the
Germans,
And spagetti made for the wops
Fish were made to drink water,
And Buns were made to drink
booze.
Banks were made for money,
And money made for the Jews,
Everything was made for some
thing;
Most everything but a miser,
God made President Wilson,
But who in the h made the
kaiser? -Ex.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Bachelor Is
Burned In Barn

The finding of the charred body
of Charley Mignault in the ruins
of his burned barn Wednesday
morning was one of the mostshock-
ing things that has occurred in this
county for some time. Foul play
is feared. The unfortunate man
was about fifty years of age, a
bachelor, and has lived in this
county about eleven years. His
farm is situated in the Girard
country.
The barn burned at IL o'clock
Wednesday night, and fire was
discovered by John Harrison, who
is working on the Schalenburg
farm. He rushed over and endea-
vored to save some of the building
As the burning structure fell in, he
discovered the body of a man ly-
ing inside partly covered with
straw. The neighbors were arous-
ed and Sheriff Sullivan notified,
who in company with Coroner
Combes, DR.. Morrill, and County At
torney Brattin and his assistant,
Mr.. Warren, visited the scene and
made observations.
The remains were buried at
Lambert Friday. The deceased
was brother of Joe Mignault,
who is also a resident of this coun-
ty.-Sidney Chief.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

L. w. Curtis and family autoed
to Glendive Wednesday to spend
Thanksgiving with relatives there.
Ed. Lloyd is expected to return
10 Circle about the 10th of next
month. He is at present working
at Villa Grove, Ill.
Wm.Knight brought in two big
loads of sawdust from Richey this
week, to be used by Fritz Massar
in packing next years crop of ice.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30
Cooking Demonstrator
Here Today and Sat

Miss Nina Ogilvie of -Bozeman,
gave a lecture to the ladies of Cir
Gle and vicinity last Wednesday
afternoon which was fairly well
attended.
1t was announced last week that
she would give lectures and cook
ing demonstrations here next week
but there was misunderstanding
somewhere and instead she will
be here today and tomorrow.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

Now that American troops are
in the trenches the kaiser has
called every available man to the
colors. He maylaugh tAmerica's
little army, but his action shows
he is uneasy because of their pre-
sence in the trenches. Our presi-
dent is right when he says he
knows how to peace. The only
way is to fight.-Ex.
Early Ohio potatoes for sale at
Paxton.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

Guy C. Stephens received a let
ter this week from Kirk Stanley
saying that he had enlisted in U.
S. Army. He also asked him to
inform the parties, (memtioning
no names), who have charge of
his horses to tell them to turn his
horses loose till after the war.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

Two classes of German prison
ers are now detained in this coun-
try. One is comprised of sailors
taken into custody when the I'm
tied States entered the war; the
other consists of "alien enemies, "
civilians who have been arrested
and are now being held under
government regulations for various
reasons.
The principle detention camp is
at Fort Mcpherson, Ga, where ap-
proximately $50 war prisoners are
held; at Fort Oglethorpe, Ga,
there are 165 alien enemies; at
Fort Douglas, Utah. there are SIT
prisoners of war and 80 interned
Germans. Small detachments are
now temporarily quartered at Ar
my posts throughout the country,
but their number is relatively
small.
Altogether there are 1884 act
ual prisoners of war in the custody
of the War Department and about
400 interned aliens held at the re-
quest of the Department of JUS
tice.
1t is estimated that Germany is
now holding $50 sailors taken
from American ships by commerce
raiders and other German vessels.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

No passport is required by the
State Department to 60 10 Canada,
but persons subject to draft who
desire to cross the line are often
delayed while their cases are be-
ing investigated.
When any registered person de-
sires a passport or to 60 to Can
ada he may apply to his local
board for a permit. If he is not
likely to be called within the per-
iod of the purposed absence or if
the board is otherwise assured
that his absence will not result in
evasion of or interference with
the execution of the draft law, he
may obtain the permit by giving
his address and by agre ee-
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

K. F. Kirchner brought the
Banner family a real fine turkey
last Wednesday to which we done
justice yesterday noon. 1t sure
was a dandy.
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-11-30

Stories of Activities and Condi-
tions Throughout the u. S. and
on the Battle Fronts, from Wash
ington, D. C.
Norwich bulletin., 1917-03-21
REFUSED PRIVILEGE OF
 HOLDING sTREET MEETINGS. Central Labor Union May Take Steps
 Toward Calling City Meeting.

President Joseph Kucher of the Gen. tral Labor union announced at the regular meeting of the organization held in Carpenters hall on Tuesday night that the police commissioners have refused to grand the local Ma chinists' union the privilege of con- ducting street meetings The attend ance at the meeting was unusually large and the interest manifested at the meeting was keen.
 It is said the Central Labor union has taken up the matter of the refusal of the police commissioners and ex- pect to push 1t, and if necessary they will take .he steps to call a city meet ing.
 A joint committee of the Machinists' union and the Central Labor union waited on the mayor last week reIa- tive to the matter and it was stated by a labor official Tuesday night that the mayor refused to give out any statement. but left the matter entirely in the hands of the police commission CTS.
 The central body endorsed the strike Of the velvet weavers in Willimantic. The report of delegates concerning the hearings held in the state legislature stated that most of the bills introduced by abor were rejected.
 There was a lengthy discussion on the question of labor in the future guarding against tho sending of men to the legislature who will not CO., operate or look after the welfare of the workingman.
Norwich bulletin., 1917-03-21
Men,. Leaaue Meetinu.

The first meeting of the Mems club of the Greeneville Congregational church since it's organization was held in the church vestry Tuesday evening with a large number in attendance. The meeting opened with the singing of America Dr. R. R. Agnew, presi- dent of the club, presided, and the regular routine of business was trans acted. Following the business session, pr. Agnew introduced the speaker of the evening, Rev. Mir. Thatcher, of Jewett City, who spoke upon the sub ject The Lead Pencil. Rev. Mr. Thatcher likened one's life to the conn., mon lead pencil, saying that the pencil was composed of an outside and an inside. So it is with men: they have two parts, the inner man and the ex- terior man. The outside may be fine and shiny. but if the right stuff isn't on the inside the man will never make his mark in the world.
 Following the address, William Fleming recited two selections with much expression. o. ". Carpenter rendered several selections which were warmly applauded. The evening closed with the singing of the Star Spangled Banner by Arthur Blackledge, all join ing in the chorus.
 The Mems club was only recently organized and has a membership of nearly forty, with the prospect of more in the near future. The next meeting will be he'd in April.