davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
SLANG, SISTER OF POETRY
II Is the Opposite, However, Because
1t Consciously Aims to Be
in Bad Taste.

Slang. Geictt Burgess once said is
1.-THE illegtmate sister of poetry. that
makes with her common cause
against the utilitarian economy Of
prose" writes Professor Utter in Har-
per'S Magazine. Their common ground
is the realm of metaphor, as we are
quick To recognize. for we like to think
of our ready idiom as the stuff that
poetry is made of. Good night" we
exclaim TO express the fnaity of Il
lost cause. and ii makes US feel that
we are poets or that Shakespeare WAS
an everyday American to find it in
the same sense I'm Henry "" part /.
IF he fall in, good night or sink or
SWIM" Chaucer uses come OFF, and
Ego sit down." Shakespeare has mot
in it." Sheridan has cent II out" The
list might be prolonged; and when all
examples are put together one begins
to doubt whether all new slang is not
old poetry writ large.
Indeed. slang is poetry I'm just so
far rs II seeks the emotions through
the freshly edged metaphor. II is the
opposite of poetry in that II conscious
" seeks to be in bad taste. The DIFF
ference is In the nature Of the emo
ton II seeEe tn rouse. It's humOr Is
Fals.ah;an: ii speaks To us not in fun
only. If II IS not grotesque--if Il Is
funny merely because ii is new-its
career rs slang Is short; II either per-
ishes or becomes plain English. The
slang metaphor. too. pc the ephemerid
Of poety has short cycle of life with
startling power Of self-renewal. II is
like evolution afflicted with the speed
mania. type succeeding type so fast
that one l0Ses the sense of continuity
in the process. When careless col
legian Of George AIDES says. Father.
YOU talk like bod Of ashes" the fig-
ure Is not hard to recognize; 1t Is at
least true to type.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
zAPATA KEPT HIS PROMISE
Paid Back $4,000 Pesos He Forced
Bankers to Give Him to Feed
Hungry Men.

= One morning Emilio Zapata ISSUED
two proclamatiOns. One was a pro
hibition edict closing the saloons; the
other command for the bankers Of
The city TO assemble for n conference,
The bankers attended the meeting
They went In fear, dreading confisca-
zion OF their deposits. Only q few
days before the armies of General Car.
rama had collected forced loan" Of
ten million pesos from the banks
What mercy could be expected of the
bandit leader?
Zapata's speech was short and b
the point. "Caballeros," he said, my
men are hungry. | want $4,000 pesoe
to feed them for few days. You win
pay this. j promise you protection
You may carry on your business with
out mOlestatlon as long as you do not
aid the enemy. You may go when yoH
sign the order for the money" Thank
full to escape with such q modest de-
mand, the bankers did rs they were
ordered. Zapata kept his part of the
better pOliced than II has ever been
since Porfirio DiaZ was driven from
Mexico. But this Is the strange part
Of the story-strange to one wns
knows the system of confiscatioa
which has bled the business men Of
the country. Ten days later Zaputs
paid back the $4,000 pesos.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
OLD PRESCRIPTION
FOR WEAK KIDNEYS

A medicinal preparation like DR.. KID
mer's Swamp-Root, that has real curative
value almost sells itself. Like an endless
chain SYSTEM the remedy is recommended
by those who have been benefited to thoss
who are in need of it.
DR.. Kimer's Swamp-Root is a phy6
Clans prescription. 1t has been tested
for years and has brought results to count
less numbers who have suffered.
The success of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root
is due to the fact that it fulfills almost ew
cry wish in overcoming kidney, liver and
bladder diseases, corrects urinary troubles
and nentralizes the uric acid which causes
rheumatism.
Do not suffer. Get bottle of Swamp
Root from any druggist now. Start treat
men. today.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to Dr.
Kilmer & Co, Binghamton, N. Y, for q
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23

For the next section of the case We
must depend upon this teller. Agnew
Can you call him up and have him at
the bank early enough In the morning
TO give me an hour OF his time exclu-
sively?'
1T shall be DONE" pledged.
You will be there. too, Of course.
continued Marvel. and then as the
machine halted he leaned closer to-
wards me. and added in low tone:
Dream over the fact that a woman
manipulated those three checks and
that she had not less than twenty let
tiers to her signature"
! detected a tremor OF pleased hope
fitness in the tones Of BARLEY Agnew
as ! called him up over the phone at
his home somewhat later. and in
formed him that Resilius Marvel had
taken up the case and wished to see
him at the bank in the morning. and
that circumstances emphasized my
pr vious good opinion CT the poor
worried fellow and his prompt faith III
the famous protector OF finance
When | entered the bank a little
earlier than usual in the morning.
found Marvel and Agnew porting over
the signature books. With a card
filled with notations and several other
slips of paper in his hand. Marvel
finally came out from the teller 5
pen. He looked brisk and steam.
ed up for work in his character.
AS to Agnew. heard him laugh with
his old goodly cheer at some pleasant
remark Marvel made. and | felt GER
tain that a great load had been lifted
from his shoulders. Marvel followed
me into my Office and selected a tissue
slip from among his handful of docu-
ments 1t bore a transfer OF a name.
and read:
"Neva Orette Brantingham.'
That is the forger, If you can call
her SUCH" observed my friend "Ac-
cording to measurements the sigma
ture space occupied on those faded out
checks occupied a long but narrow
space II narrow. why not the dainty
and circumscribed writing of a femi-
nine hand? II long. then a name also
Of some length"
"Twenty-one letters" remarked
Il said not less than twenty" re-
minded Marvel; "a pretty close guess
had an advantage in my search
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23

| through the signature book-A. to q
rowed it down to the name on that
slip. Then the confirmation"
The confirmation" repeated
vaguely.
Yes. ct two o'clock yesterday af.
ternoon the teller finds that Neva
Ore;te Br nt'1gham withdrew her en-.
tire balance in the bank. amounting to
$4,000. Under the circumstances. as
you i'll comprehend, that is 5ignin.
can't"
was enough of a logician to realize
| that. having played her perilous game
to the safety limit, the clever de-
positor had no further use for the
bank and probably had for all her
available cash.
The teller has dim memory that
he had cashed other checks for tne
Brantingham woman during the past
few days" explained Marvel AT all
events. ! feel certain that when we
locate her we end the case"
THAT should not be difficult" ! OBJ
served The signature card will tell
who introduced her and will give her
address"
1T doesn't. and won't" interrupted
Marvel bluntly The account drifted
into the bank and was accepted with
out investigation. for 1t represented
respectable amount Agnew recalls
the Birmingham as a rather hand.
some brunette. seemingly wishing to
attract no attention. but he says he
would recognize those eyes of hers
on sight
There is no likelihood OF her
temperance at the baEk?"
Hardly" was the dry response.
'Then-what Eext?"
My friend did not appear at all con-
cerned as to the requisite procedure
in the case. realized that II the
remarkable progress primarily made
was a pressage of continued forward
movement. he would soon have the
$4,000. or the woman. Still. | won.
dered what his next move would be.
and how he would start into the in.
terminable jungle of the great city
practically without a clev, and that
too on the trail of a shrev'd swindler
who had SO successfully covered her
tracks up to date. Just as Marvel
arose to depart. Agnew burst into
the room. He was uncere'honious and
greatly excited.
I'm just finding my Wits" he de-
clared
That's good" nodded the great one.
with an encouraging smile
Il remember a very peculiar cir.
cumstance regarding the Birmingham
account. HIM, how | smiled and
stared at the time," and the face OF
the narrator expanded at memory OF
some apparently comical incident.
Won't you share the amusements
with us? delicately insinuated Mar
vel
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
AFTER IA YEARS
OF SUFFERING
hi, Lady Tried Cardui. Let Her
Tell You in the Following
Statement the Results
She Obtained.

Wise. va.-NIrs J. NJ. Elan, Of this
place, in writing Of her female
troubles, says: "This trouble went on
for II years, often was unable b
work and suffered badly ut .. times.
when l could not be on my feet at all
Really In bad health all the time dur
ing those IA years, and was never
without pain, with awful backaching.
had no appetite, was nervous, but at
that time my husbands sister -.
recommended that try Cardui, which
/ began to take and which has
caused me TO be In better health ever
since. In few days / felt that i'm
provement had begun. My back got
stronger and less painful. i got less
nervous and my appetite began to i'm
prove. In a few weeks my improve
ment was noticeable, and / got into
better health than l had had for IA
years. =. Ny walking before had been
very painful, and could not stand on
my feet to do any good. After using
these medicines, however, could walk
without pain and was able to do the
work and housekeeping for an ord
nary family. My back and appetite
were better and also my nerves"
II you suffer as Mrs. Elan did, taks
Cardui. 1t may be just what you need
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
TO MARRY OR NOT TO MARRY
You Can Argue Question From Numer-
Gus Points of View and Re-
turn to Beginning.

Socrates. asked whether IL was bet.
ically rcpl ed: "Whichevcr you do
you will repent" This view of the
holy estate is not unknown nowadays.
Ii is common complaint that men act
on the principle set forth by ThaleS,
whom Bacon and MOntaigne both
quote as holding that one is first too
young and then too old. A CORE
spOndCnt of the New York Sun. who
writes from Seattle. says more plously
that "the matter lies with God" If
you are to he married you will be
another application of the doctrine of
predestination. more cogently eX-
pressed IL the Italian phrase. "Che
sara. sara This is. perhaps, consid-
ering il too deeply.
The Seattle philosopher is more
practical i'm the advice he gives rs TO
ones attitude toward marriage Don't
worry" is the substance of It. There
is plenty of work to be done even by
the single. MANY of the noblest and
most useful men and women In the
worlds history never married. They
did more good in the world than II
they had hundred children" But
here we get into the region of the
ohiter dictum, of opinion not Of fact.
1t Is pure assumption To say that any
man or woman was the better for not
marrying. You can argue the ques-
tion from a dozen different points of
view and still come back 10 the start
ing point. "My life for me is the best
or It had not been" said minor
American poet. But his resigned at
titude isn't always easy.-Philadelphi
Ledger.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23

uman Quill as readily as the woman"
submitted Marvel
More So" asserted Agnew. You
don't see such odd exhibitions every
day, and that flashing hand of his is
hard to forget"
I'VE will find the man first. then.
announced Resilius Marvel deliberate
ly and with easy confidence-"ther rest
will follow"
! did not meet Resilius Marvel
again that day nor the next 1t was
difficult, however, for me to keep my
mind off the curious case into which
! had been plunged midway and then
left to augury and doubt. found my
self watching innumerable faces for
traces Of a long curling moustache.
and studied every movement of hands
w,ll manicured Without success. of
course. for the payee of the $1,000
was not only IN oddly, but a spe-
cialist Then about five o'clock in the
evening came the welcome call from
Marvel to join him at a designated
place
You have a couple of hours to
spare?" was his first question
More than that, il your program is
of the usual interesting character"
submitted.
I'VE will ia e the elevated D Won
derland. then" announced my COM
panion.
The Wonderland naturally sug-
gested the faker. the minor stage. and
such freaks as human quilts and like
specialties in the curio field.
Your man is there l suppose?"
concluded
Il have reason to believe SO. I know
than did when last saw you" lar.
rated Marvel That was the first
natural field of exploitation suggested
A man proud Of his handy pen finger
would bestow due care and attention
upoL 1t. | hit a clew at high-up
manicure parlor. Our man. If the ear
marks OF description do not fail. is
a weekly client there. | find that fin
ger nail of his Is true professional
asset"
professional" repeated-"in what
way?"
Did you ever hear OF the Profile
Scratcher?" hallenged Marve,.
Il never did," confessed
Neither did /, until this afternoon.
1t seems, however. that this is the
specially designation Of the $1,000
PAGE. He is a pleasure park appen-
dix. and at present is playing at Won
der.and We will have our FIRST sight
of him together
Wonderland was six miles away -
elevated. a fenced-in aggregation OF
tinsel and folly. and The crowds were
gathering and the electric blaze in
full LAY when we arrived My COM
panion made some inquiries. We
finally arrived at long row Of booths
and tents. The Mystic Lady" her
draoeried studio guarded nv a reel
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
Purity That PAYS.

Representative Haugen OF the agri
culture committee was talking at a
luncheon about the food bin.
'The prOfiteers who oppose this
BILL" he said, "are animated. Of course,
by the purest motives. Yes, the prof
iteers' purity Is unimpeachable. Only
it's such a profitable purity. 1t re-
minds me of the milkman.
"'Is your milk richer than Skin
ner's?' lady asked the fellow.
It's-er-it's very much purer,
ma'am' he stammered.
"'Purer? How sOT said she.
~ got filter said the milkman,
ON my pump"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
That's what ! came for" answered
Agnew. How wildly that man
comes back to mel"

That's what ! came for" answered
Agnew. How wildly that man
comes back to mel"
What manr' questioned my friend
The one who was with this Brant.
ingham woman the day I recall II
was directly after she had made her
Initial deposit. The man came in with
check signed by her. but could not
identify himself. He went away. and
in about an hour she appeared with
him and said he was the rightful
payee. The amount was $1,000 re-
collect that distinctly"
What was the mans name?" In
CURED Marvel hopefully.
The teller shook his head. and his
eyes seemed looking back through an
arcade formed of thousands and thou.
sands of names
Check returned long since. OF
course" he said. and no record made
here / can't remember the name,
but the mani" and again Aglew's
disabilities were aroused. and he
smiled broadly.
Describe him." directed Marvel q
tritle impatie7tly.
He wore long hair like an
actor, and had a curling moustache
like barber He was very dainty In
all his movements. ! set him down
nrst as a matinee idol Then. glanc-
ing at his hands. noticed how well
formed, white and delicate they were,
and fancied he was a piano player
When | told him to endorse the check.
he did something ! had never seen
done before. II stumped me-"
What was it," Marvel asked.
Vel, he placed the check before
him with a great flourish. extended his
hand. dipped his forefinger into my
inkstand and whirled of an exquisite
signature across the back OF the check
Say, it was done so prettily. that long.
nailed ringer of his beat the best alb
proved pen so nicely. that just stared
at him in profound admiration. Then
he bowed with the grace of a dancing
master and was gone"
What you mean to convey was
that the .ellow had trained his finger
nail into practical pen use?"
Well" explained the teller. lit was
! It slit like pen, but it held ink
and his chirography was ike eel
plate work"
You should almost recognize this
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
Their Favorite Wine.

An American 'Sammle' Is as fond
Of his wine as a German soldier"
remarked to an old sailor friend.
Yes" he agreed, but an American
sailor doesn't like the same kind Of
wine that German sailor likes"
why, how's that, uncle?" / asked.
We'll, you see" he answered with
chrS'kle. 1.-The German sailors like e
stick TO port"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
To Drive Out Malaria
And Build In The system

Take the Old Standard GROVES
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking. as the formula d
printed on every label. showing il b
Quinine and Iron in a tasteless .orm. The
Quinine drives out malaria. the Iroa
builds up the system. 60 cents
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
An Incentive

They say the girls over there in
France are so pretty and so chic and
so romantic. and so charming. and so
crazy over the American soldiers"
Here. where's the recruiting sta
ton? I'm no slackerw
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
An Innovation.

Talking about educational improve
ments, / would suggest to have school
rooms rugged like vessels"
"Why sol"
Because then they could have what
is much needed-a spanker boom"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
A NEGLECTED. COLD

Is often followed by pneumonia. He
fore IL is too late take Laxative QuinL
dine Tablets. Gives prompt relief 10
cases of Coughs, Colds, La Grippe and
Headache. Price 25c.-Ady.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23
Defined

What does the word kaiser
mean?'
"A lot Of epithets which ! trust
shall never hear you using. my boy"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23

The less a man says the more guesD-
ing his wife has to do.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1917-11-23

A good idea is one that can be car
ricd out and exchanged for coin.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1917-09-22
England Builds Ships
In Sight Of Materials

GLASGOW. Aug. 2s. - (Corre-
spondence Of the Associated Press)--
The shipbuilders Of Great Britain,
who will soon be turning out. virtual.
ly nothing else but standard ships
and war vessels. have one advantage
over the shipbuilders Of the United
States that will be hard to overcome.
They have nearly all their materials
at their back doors.
From the decks Of ships in one of
the yards in the north Of England,
for instance, everything used in the
construction Of vessels Is within sight.
Iron Is extracted from hills that look
to be almost across the street. Coal
comes from the same place. On the
other side Of the yard are the great
coke ovens, smelters. furnaces and
rolling mills. Plates and steel forms
may be carried from the mills to the
ships under construction in carts
drawn by horses. A single company
extracts the ore. prepares It with its
own fuel and sends It away from its
own plant as finished ships ready for
the sea. There are many such exam
pies here in the north. The success
Of more than one Of the shipbuilding
concerns may be partially traced to
the proximity Of materials used.
So great is the supply at the dis
posal of the shipbuilders that In many
cases they have entered into the man.
ufacture Of other things than ships.
One yard. which owns a great rolling
mill, turns out, in addition to steel
for its own tremendous needs. some
thing over 1000 tons weekly of great
steel forms which are shipped away
to be made into projectiles. Another
yard has turned over some Of its
buildings and sheds to the actual
making Of projectiles from steel TAX
en- from its own plant. Still another
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1917-09-22

Is engaged almost solely upon the
construction Of standard ships. and
thereby has released quantities Of Its
equipment to making steel for the
Germans.
Another had a large stretch Of land
in the rear Of it's place which before
the war was used mostly a. . slaa
dump and a storage yard for steel.
All this has been cleared away and
now the site 10 covered by big air
plane factory. Needless to say. this
plant is 80 isolated that the Germans
never could locate it. and II they did
know where It was. they never could
damage It.
The shipbuilders OF Britain are in
tensely interested in what the United
States Is going to do toward increas-
ing the shipping tonnage Of the world
and they are anxious to do everything
possible to assist in the plans. Only
one thing did they have to suggest:
they were unanimously agreed that
under no consideration should work.
ers in the yards be permitted to Join
the armed forces. When England
went to war the shipbuilding con.
Germs encouraged their employees to
enlist. but now. and for some time
past. with assistance Of the govern
ment. former employees are being re-
leased from the army and navy to re-
turn to their work. A ship builder or
a man with a knowledge Of ship build
ing is worth ten times as much to his
country in a shipyard. omcials say.
as he is in the armed forces.
The builders of ships for Britain
have all the material they need. and
gradually they are getting sufncient
number of men to do the work that
only men can do. Female workers
are all very we'll. they say. but wo-
man cannot handle an automatic riv.
eter or swing sledge.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1917-09-22
SEND MONEY HOME,
IS SAILORS SLOGAN

WASHINGTON. d. c., Sept. a.
That the average U. 8. Marine does
not sauander his money recklessly Il
shown by the fact that more than
1900 money orders were purchased
during August by U. s. Marines in
training at Port Royal, s. C.
Send money home," seems to be
sort Of slogan amongst the sea.
soldiers" who oficials report. pur.
chased $4,000 worth Of money or
ders at the government postofice a
Port Royal Immediately after the
September pay day.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1917-09-22

The Christian Science Society Of
klamath Falls. which Is a branch or
ganisation Of The Mother Church,
The First Church Of Christ Scientists,
In Boston. Mass. holds services al
lt3 South Fourth street. every sun
day morning at II O'Clock and ever.
Wednesday evening At 8 o'clock. All
are welcome.
Subject Of tho lesson for Sunday
September -, Matter"
The Sunday school session Is from
s:45 to l0:A5 every Sunday morning
Pupils are enrolled to the age Of 30,
The free reading room and free
lending library 10 open from $3.50 to
4:So on Tuesdays. Thursdays and
Saturdays. The Bible and all author.
ised Christian Science literature may
be read, borrowed or purchased.
Methodist Episcopal Church. Tenth
and High streets. Rev. George II.
Bennett. pastor. l1ss East street.
Sermon. II .. m. "The End Of
Summer" Solo BY Mrs. A. J. voys,
Sermon 3 p. m. Gods Pledge "a
You." Solo by Clara Calkins.
Evangelical Lutheran sedvices will
be held in Library hall at 3 p. M.
Rev. NJ. c. Rossman. who was In.
stalled here ON September 18th as
Lutheran pastor and missionary OF
Klamath county. and who has located
In klamath Falls. will preach In Eng
lish and German.
Subject. Luke. 1888.
All Lutherans. whether they be OF
English. Scandinavian or German de-
scent. and all others Interested are
most heartily invited.
Tho Episcopal prayer service will
be held in Library hall Sunday morn.
Ing at II O'Clock. All who arc in
terested are invited to these services.
. Q .
Church Of the Sacred Heart. cor.
ner High and Eighth streets. Rev.
Hugh Marshall. pastor.
First Mass at 6 .. m.
Second Mass at 1880 q. 10.
Holy Hour at 1880 p. m.
Weed day service. 8 o. m.
Q Q .
At the Eleventh street Baptist
church. Sunday. August 26th:
Rev. w. H. Cox. pastor. residence
335 Tenth street.
Sunday school at 10 .. M, M. p.
Perkins. superintendent.
Preaching by the pastor at II .. m.
b. Y. p. U. $3.50 p. m.
Preaching service at 1880 p. m.
There will be special music at each
service.