New Britain herald., 1917-08-08
How Robert Savarin Disclosed to Madge the Depth of His Love for
 Lillian Underwood,

Lillian Underwood.
 I seated myself mechanically upon the copinv of the rustic bridge near Marvin at Robert Savarin's request to listen to his story. I was glad to sit down, for my knees were tremb- ling beneath me. I had not realized how great had been my hidden fear that the delicate compass needle gov erning Robert Savarin's newly re- gained mentality had been swerved from it's course, until the calmness of his voice and manner treasured me.
 "rm not a man to beat about the bush, Mrs. Graham" the artist began, looking down at me with grim line about his expressive mouth which told me that the man was greatly moved by some hidden emotion. And l don't imagine that it will be news to you when I tell you that I loved Mrs. Underwood in the long ago days when I first knew her.
 He paused as if for an answer gave it promptly.
 1T have thought of it, certainly, l replied.
 II wish I could paint Lillian Gale for you as she was when l first Knew her." he went on, and every lnhec- tion of his, every shade of his express sion breathed the love he had had for Lillian so long ago, which was sure he still felt for her. "Of course, she was the prettiest thing imaginable, as anyone who looks at her now can see. And she was such an eager, frank, wide-eyed young creature. with the sacred fire of ambition consuming the body and soul of her."
 His words tumbled over each other as if he couldn't get them out fast enough. It was as if he were trying to utter years of repressed passion and admiration in moment.
 "Of Course Loved Her."
 Tt isn't in my power to express all her fresh, girlish enthusiasm meant to me at that time" he went on. She came into my life when l was much discouraged in. my work, and in aid ing her with what small effort could, I found my own enthusiasm come back to me. Her freshness of viewpoint startled me out of the rut of despondency in which I had been travelling.
 of course I loved her. I don't
 
 tact with her as was when she stu died in my studio, could have helped falling in love with her. But as I look back on it now in the light of a later experience, there was rever- ence, almost worship, mingled with my love. It was as different a feel ing from the mad infatuation that later ruined my life, as heaven is re- moved from he'll"
 His eyes gleamed with excitement as he referred to the woman who had sent him into 1 5 years of mental darkness, and I saw his hands shake as with the palsy. l hastened to bring his mind back to Lillian. and in my perturbation said the first thing which came into my mind.
 Why in the world didn't you tell her of your feeling for her?'
 I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips, for look of poignant regret overspread Robert Savarin's expressive face. But the excited gleam left his eyes, his hands ceased trembling, and he answered my ques- tion quietly.
 I Have Wondcrctl."
 Because I was years older than she, and was an artist without any material success with which to care for a woman as I wished to care for her. Besides. my disappointments had made me morose, irritable, no companion for a fresh-hearted child. So I closed my lips and thanked God that she never suspected my feeling for her was any deeper than her care less, girlish friendship for me-"
 I could have cried out with the un- conscious irony of his words. Care less girlish friendship"-this was the way he had imagined Lillian regard ed him in those long past studio days. And she had made a girlish idol of him and had hidden it in her heart of hearts, fearing that the man she adored-who she was sure never thought twice about her-might gain some inkling of her feeling toward him.
 But since I have learned of the tragedy that life has meant to her." the artist went on, 1T have wondered if it wasn't a hideous mistake I made at that time. Surely even a mar riage in which the love would have been only upon my side would have been better for her than the lot that was hers"
 How I longed to tell him that if Lillian had guessed he loved her she would have been happy beyond meas