davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

Diet COPS sing after eating twelve
cents worth.-Headline.
A song of sixpence.
All, RIGHT, RUCKERvILLE, COME
ON IN
From the Winchester CKy.) Republi-
can.)
The New York Evening Sun copied
our Ruckerville correspondents solil-
oouay on booze which appeared in the
Republican week before last. 1t con-
tanned some original poetry that SEEM
ed to tickle the New York jays. Our
Ruckerville poet could fill their col
umns with better stun still if they
would only recognize genius and give
him a chance.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
Hades and Texas.


He'll being to some extent largely a
matter of imagination, and DIR. Adler
being resident of New York, some
wicked and uninformed persons may
be.inclined to say that he cannot imag-
Inc that there could be any other
place to compare with It in wicked
ness as those of us who have been
there and seen the other side know
that the hell OF New York is fairly
balanced by the heaven OF New York
DR.. Adler does not appear to have
ever heard OF the man who had been
down in Col. Ed Houses State, who
said after seeing things at their best
or worst, that II he "owned both hell
and Texas he would rent out Texas
and live in hell" From which IL would
seem that there are worse places than
hell. But the Baptist brethren In
New York need not worry about DR..
Adler-the Rev. BILLY" Sunday will
look after him.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

"Santa In F1owerland' Is the title
OF an amateur playlet to be given
here. He generally comes in a
sleigh in snow time, but then. per-
haps, he is going to do his Christmas
giving early.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

Holland has just had q taste OF Bel
gium's experience with German prom
ises. Holland had the assurance of
Germany that Belgium refugees who
had fled to the Netherlands would
not be molested IL they returned to
Belgium. They returned, and then
the deportations began.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

= william Penn's last prayer ror
Philadelphia has just. been hung up
in bronze in the city hall. That must
be the answer, nobody ever prayed
for New York until Billy Sunday vol
unteered to do it.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

From the far West comes the sug-
gestion, passed along to the managers
OF the Washington poultry show, that
whatever the gate receipts. the egg
gathering privilege ought to make
somebody's fortune.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
Don Marquis
Column

A contortionist fellow down South
Scorned the Prohibs and laughed at
their drouth,
For 1t tickled and stung
Like champagne on his tongue
When his foot went to sleep In his
mouth.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

The Boston Globe suggests that
$50 o,OOO.O 900 leak ought to attract at
tention, even from a plumber. Yes,
but he wouldn't go looking for II
with a lighted match.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

ment assured which, with reasonable
tariff and shipping laws, should keep
the country first commercially
among the powers.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

There are times when talcum pow
der displays gunpowder proclivities.
Powder on the mustache of a rival
won a husbands alienation suit in
Baltimore
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
LETTERS FROM READERS
Comment on Current Topics In
Communications to the Editor. 2

To the Editor Of THE TINES:
] learn from the Congressional Record
of January 10 that the Senate has de-
Un-t-d Sits to be q crime. This Is q
matter Of great importance to US. all.
and 1 wish you would explain 1t further.
The Pr-s-d-nt is q public servant II
1t is a high crime and misdemeanor to
criticise him. It must be a crime to
criticise other pubic servants.
Should I be locked up II I should crit
icise the C-r-ner back in my home
county? OF course no one would now
dare to criticise a S-n-tor, but how
most carefully on our guard. Lese ma
jesty Is no joke in European countries.
from which the Senate has imported it,
and 1 will bet 1t will be no joke here.
For instance, / hear many rude, un-
sympathetic persons saying that Mr.
L-ns-ng must be one OF the greatest
men that ever lived because he has
made Mr.. Bran look like a statesman
and anybody would have said that was
absolutely impossible. It Is evident
there must be no more comment Of this
kind
1t also appears from the Senate pro-
ceedings that to criticise the Emp-r-r OF
Aus-r-a Is q crime and at least as bad
as the other. am anxious to know
just where we stand now about these
things Do you think I could be al
lowed to criticise> Kathie Schratt?
Yours very truly.
oRRIN c. BUTLER.
P. S.-I have adopted the above style
of spelling because looking back over
the records find that a century and a
half ago, when England was dominated
by the archaic ideas that now rule the
cave dwelling gentlemen on Capitol Hill.
writers were able in this way to escape
the prison cell I am taking no chances.
I venture to commend the same kind Of
orthography to Senator Lodge He
seems to be in imminent danger and Is
too good q man to ornament the jail to
which he is plainly heading.-O. c. B.
Washington, January 16.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
A Lesson To Him.

By the time Mr.. Lawson gets
through with his present adventure
in high finance he will probably.
feel like the colored person down in
old Missisip who was about to 4.
executed, and being asked IL he had
anything to say, replied with some
degree of emotion: "Well, Boss, dis
suahly be a lesson tub me-"
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

The best thing about the webb-Ken-
yon law is the crimp It puts in the
fellow who believes in prohibition for
other folk and knows just where to
get his own supply.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

The speculation as to whether Adam
ate an apple, an orange or q ounce
has been revived.
We have always thought ourself
that the story symbolized the fall Of
humanity through the invention Of
the boarding house, and the fruit was
likely a prune.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

Because q man utters platitudes,
that is no sign he is more sincere
than the fellow who makes epigrams.
But the maker of epigrams is less
likely to be showed into places of
mower and prestige by the public.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

An Innes painting has just sold for
$4,000. Goldberg had better be look
ing to his salary laurels.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
Tint Royal Ronanee.

.SGid Louis Qainse to Kansds Lou
"Je voas odoref o, m'dime=-vorsp
.SGid KonsGs Lou to Lo1is ouinre:
GETTING ALL THE FAMILY
TOGETHER.
(From the Jackson (Ky) Times.)
Miss Lucy Holiday, of Somerset,
and Miss Sara Holiday, Of Hazard,
spending the holidays with their uncle
and aunt, Mr.. and Mrs. NJ n. Holiday.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

Shakespeare from the standpoint
OF a lawyer"-well, he did start the
movement to open law school courses
to women students,
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

NatIonal-Wliiam Gillette, In "A Successful
Calamity" 1:9o and $50 p. m
BeIasco-"Experiencs," 2:15 and SIS .. m
Keith's-Vaudeville, 2:l5 and Sis p. m
Poli's-'Tittle Woman" s15 and SIS D. m.
Observation-Disclosures, 3:lS and SIS D. m
Loew's Columbia-Motion pictures, 1919 -
m. to II D. m.
strand-Photoplays 10 r. m to lo:s0 p. m.
Garden-Photoplays, 10 4. m to io:n .. m.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17

The Germans seem able to start a
new peace move as soon as the allies
stop one.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
Here and There
In the News

There was a testimonial dinner in
Philadelphia last week in honor of
Augustus L Daix upon his reelection
to the State Senate. The gang" was
all there, and they had a great time.
United States Senator Boies Penrose
appears to have been the piece de
resistance of the occasion, and was
lauded to the skies by his faithful
friend, State Senator McNichol, Mho
declared that he did not aspire to
leadership, but wished -only to con-
tinue as a loyal follower Of the great
est Of leaders, Senator Penrose. He
is a man." said Mr.. McNichol warm
ing up to his work, "who has been
assailed on every hand, but he has
come out untarnished, with q charac-
ter as pure as the driven snow"
"Oh! the snow, the snow, the beau
tiful snow"
And so on. McNichol Is an artist
whatever may be said OF him as q
contractor.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
where Ii HeIlG

De Felix Adler, head of the Society
for Ethical Culture, has been brought
to task by two Baptist ministers for
saying that there Ii no such place
as hell, and that it was unfortunate
that BILLY" Sunday Is going to New
York to worry people about It. As
Lift Bradley, the poor and unedu-
Gated colored person, said, Hell must
be a most 'ow daeious' kind of q
place." and a. the gifted Christopher
Marlowe put It about 400 years ago
"all places shall be hell that are not
heaven, something must be for
given to DR.. Adler, whoIhas. lived In
New York for many years. One Of the
Secretaries of the Treasury IN Wash
ington described New York in verse
not many years ago, and occasional
visitors from the provinces have
brought back distressing accounts of
what they saw and heard while they
were there and fancying that they
were really moving in the best cir
cles.
The Washington times., 1917-01-17
Comparing Penalties.

The other day, the keeper OF q
cafe in Paris was fined $4,000 for
selling absinthe in violation of the
law, and his license to do business
was taken away from him II the
Sheppard prohibition bill should be
passed by Congress the penalties will
not be severe, but they will be suf-
ficently severe to make the business
OF making and selling alcoholic
liquors In the District an Improbable
business, the fines running from $500
to 81 900, and the term Of imprison-
ment from thirty days to twelve
months.
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20

and two clerks were busy answering
the telephones and speaking 70
those who called personally. II is
estimated that about 500 com.
plants were received yesterday.
The IS carloads placed on team
tracks were unloaded yesterday and
the mayor received a record OF the
names OF dealers who obtained the
supply. by applying 10 these deal
ers many OF the citizens begging for
relief were provided with half.
ton Coal dealers were getting
larger supplies. the mayor said. and
with these conditions prevailing. ne
declared he did not see any need
OF oonnseation today.
Efforts are being made, said Mr.
Marx. 20 check carloads consigned
20 coal brokers which are nov
held in yards just outside the city
II I, is being found that these are
being held they will be brought
into Detroit and distributed among
householders. The railroads have
engaged q car checker 10 trace
shipments OF this kind
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
FOUR CHANGES
IN CIVIL SERVICE
ARE ENDORSED

With the approva. ~ the common
council Tuesday night. four amend
rients 20 Detroits civil service laws
Will be submitted 20 The people In
he spring election. The amend
wents were gwen the Endorsement
o. the civu service commission Mon.
Jay
One would give hority To the
heads OF the city departments to
employ lahorers al 50 day or Ter
v .thout the nscesSi:, OF taking civil
tsryice examinations. or benz pass
ed on BY the meE'bers Of the com
mission
Another proposed clause would
empower the commission 10 rein
,tate an employee wpo has rssisred
IN good standing for a period 81
three wears. Stili anoSher amend
Went provides tina, any employ dis
q ished with promotion nads by
he department head may have 10
days 10 nle protest. The fourth
amendment would give the commits
sion authority TO lass on the pay
rolls % the nate. department
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
New State Central
Committee Chosen

Following are the members OF Inc
new state central committee. a.
chosen by the various district eau
cuses
District No. /, John w. Smith and
William Gutman, Of Detroit. No. 2,
W. A. Goodman OF Monroe. and Tim
othy H. Ryan OF Jackson: No. ,.
Otto Ihling OF Kalamazoo. and B.
d. German OF Coldvater. No Z. +
G Reid Of Allegan. and r W.
Broughton OF Paw Paw: No. s,
Claude T. Hamilton Of Grand Rap
Ids. and ChaS H. Mcbride OF Hol-
lsnd. No S. Fred VI. Alger OF
Crosse Pointe. and Frank Colbert OF
Pontiac. No. 7. VIM. T. Hosner OF
Romeo. and VIM n. Cook Of Akron.
No. s. John Baird Of Saginaw. and
VIM VI. Smith Of 81. Johns; No 9.
Martin Brown OF Leland, and Gard
ner T. Sands Of Pentwater: No. 10.
James 4. Davidson OF Bay City. and
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20

QUASH CASE BY
PAYING WIFE $3.50

Mrs. Marguerite Basseman SUED
Charles Crookedacre and Herman
l.embkie for a large sum OF ucney
u csuse they sold liquor to hrr hus.
land, according 10 her allegation
tuesday her attorneq. Proctor Knot.
Ovens appeared In court TO get jus.
ucc fof her and was opposed By
sVt-lat WesseIliOus. OF Grand Rap.
i4s TIE defandanis keep e road
lou-s AZ WoOdward-ave. an ths
Srenmile-road.
According TO Mrs Basseman's
allegations che had warned the ga.
iconkepert not 10 sell liquor tn her
hus band. Before the case could o..
heard in court the parties got ~
rcther and settied for t275. which
sas paid 10 the woman
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
ASKS MORE. PAY
FOR C0UNSELS
Dingeman Also Wants Assist
ants To Abandon All
Private Practice

Work OF the corporation counsels
once viii be divorced from all pri-
yate practice. and members OF the
city's legal stan viii hereafter have
TO abandon all personal work II an
ordinance drafted by Corporation
Counsel Harry J. Dngeman IL
adopted by the common council.
Tuesday night
The proposed enactment was be
fore the ordinance committee Tues
day morning and received unani-
nous Endorsement
In addition 10 providing for the
separation Of the city's and private
legal work. the ordinance viii set
a minimum salary IN the corpors.
tion counsel's once OF $500 year.
instead OF $500 as az present. onlv
two men would be affected in the
event OF the ordinances adoption.
They are Vincent NJ Brennan and
James II. Lee. who now are receiv-
Ing the minimum salary Other
tufAuOeis VI euc Htau Nv AtNNi' Hir
$500. having been In the city's
service greater length OF time
IF we prevent the assistant cor
poration counsels from engaging in
private practice. II II reasonable
,ha; the minimum salary be made
more than 1850" said Mr. Dinge
man. Tuesday. Assistant county
prosecutors now are receiving 81
500. and know that the assistants
in this ONCE have a greater volume
OF work than those In the county
prosecutors Once"
Mr.. Dingeman has set maxi
mum OF 5000 in the amended draf.
instead OF $4,000.
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
COUNTY NOW HAS
S16,500 DEFICIT

Altho the books % the Wayne
county auditors Tuesday morning
showed a deficit OF 1880 In coun.
~ funds because OF the delay In tn
collection % taxes resulting from
The contest OF the board OF super
visors and the state TAR commits.
sion. $4,000 IL sill Ia the county
bank accounts. some $4,000 worth
% outstanding checks being attn
uncashed. Technically. Wayne
county IL broke"
AreS2g Treasurer John p ". Yer.
gov has engaged 30 extra clerks 10
take care OF the rush In the col
lection % taxes that IL expected
when the deferred payments are 70.
ceived, beginning March /.
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
HAVE VISIONS
OF BULL MARKET

Commission house men feel that
the Detroit stock ex change is or the
eve % a bull market. The growing
strength 81 the New York market
and its likeness 20 its former self
tuesday morning are believed 10
forecast An upward trend
tuesday mornings trading on the
local exchange. however. did no. in.
dsoate any upward movement Tram.
ections were few and far between
rrices were at the low level OF the
last feH weeks and interest ssmed
Il BE- In od.i lots
Odd lot prices for Paige were
around % IL REQ car. SO Ia and
Michigan STAMPING 1881
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
AID. MITTER ASKS
INVESTIGATION OF
MILK COMPLAINTS

Believing that inferior milk IL
now being delivered 70 Detroi, con.
sgmers by some OF The city dealers.
Aid. Ralph G. Mitter. OF the Four
tenth ward. will ask the common
council Tuesday night TO instruct tie
hoard Of health 70 collect samples
rom all dealers Immediately and
make q thoro analysis.
Mary complaints have been
made recently concerning dealers
who have been deliver ng an infer.
ior quality OF milk" said AID
Mitter In view OF The statement
;hat Al increase In price is con
templated soon. I think the board o.
health should investigate That -
Why sm presenting the resolution
10 the aldermen tonight"
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
PUNISHMENT BY
TEACHER STARTS
$4,000 ACTION

Thru his nest best friend hCn
,tanty koncewicE - years old a
r mulus. has brou chr suit In cir.
cult court for o.e0o damages
gainst Its school teacher. Martha
Gardner. for injuries - alleges che
Inflicted upon him ~ith a olus
The ooy alleges that the corporal
punishment Was imposed Jan, -.
last. Ills bill u complaint states
that he IL sull inca?acitatrd.
The sui, IA brought tAru Ken
stanty's elder brother, Peter
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
ARMY TRAINING
VOTED DOWN IN
PENNSYLVANIA

HARRISBURG. Pa. Feb ge-
Compulsory military training vas
voted down in TIE education commit
tee Of the house % repre- entaliv,s
today and a bill by w-. J. Bradr
Ct PhGlAdelphla, reported uniayor.
ably. Il would have compelled train
ing Of al males over IS wears % age
in any school. or college. public
private or parOchial
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20

WASHINGTON. Feb 2o.-Mai.
Gen. John J Pershing. the last man
in the Uni;ed states army to al.
tain that rank Is expected here to
day 20 be given permanent com
mand 81 The department Of the
south. succeeding Maiden. Fred
erick Funston Pershing automati.
caily passed into temporary com
msnd % the department with the
death Of the picturesque Kansan
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
FUNSTON TO
REST BESIDE
THE PACIFIC

orncers and men OF the United
states forces on the border as vel
as his many friends in civil life
turnout the country.
The Arduous work undergone BY
Gen. Funston In directing the forces
under bis command in the recent
Mexican troubles. Is believed "a
have undermined his constitution
some time ago he fought or an
attack OF heart trouble similar 70
that which caused bis death.
Arrangements for the funeral were
20 Dc completed today.
Born In 1854 General Frederick
Funston nrst donned a uniform in
: $50. when. AZ the age OF 81. he
loined llbusterirg expedition In
ard OF the Cuban revolGuonists. Tn.
II; be reached the age Of IS be Nss
newspaper reporter. and for few
wears af'erw ard hello minor neli
position under the Federal depart.
ment Of Agriculture
Early IN life be had an ambition
q enter the army by way OF West
FONT. but failed IN win out IN .
competitive examination.
Altho possessing no knowledge
% military tactics he served with
distinction under the Cuban leader
Conner and soon was appointed TO a
responsible command among the IN.
Surrectos At the outbreak 81 the
spanish war be was ~
fused commission gith Skaters
expediuonary fore but was given
command u tha famous Twentieth
Kansss regiment with which he
vas destined 10 win renown in The
Philippines
he WAS stationed in san Francisco
for a time and there married Miss
Ella Blankheart. OF Oakland. who
accompanied hin: 20 the Philippines
with his command Tie regiment
arrived there Just Ia time 10 get
into The thick OF the inzurrection
headed b. Aguinalao
Funston and the I Ecntieth Kan
sss made an envlabie rcoori In the
subsequent hard hshting and be Was
rewarded with the medal OF horUr
and a commission as brigad.er gen
cral Il volunteers.
But his most enduring fame cane
a. result; q his capture OF AKulnal
90. a dar,ns plan. which he ccaeiv.
ed and carried thru without a hi;ch.
A coo psny OF loyal Philippine
scouts. disguised as insJrrectos and
commanded BY Funston and several
ether American officers. were landed
from a gnnboat AZ > point within =
few days march OF AEuinados head
quarters.
The white oficers posed "a pris-
cners Of the Filirin1s WHO gave ont
that they we're on their way 10 onsr
their services 10 Aguinaldo and acre
bringing The American prisoners Of
rank "a a mark OF good faith
Wher they reached the insurger
i headquarters the pTlfcner turned
~ commanders. AyuinAldo's guard.
were shot DOWN and Re himself vs.
selzed. rushed 10 Tire coast and
I placed aboard a waiting gunboat
vhlch landed him safely In ;he
hands Of be American authOriiies
! 81 Manila,
For this exploit Funston was made
.a,tlsff yerefsi =ssf H. F-s7ssf-tf,
army and received the thanks % rs
nation
His work AZ Vera Cruz and on ~
torder resulted IT. bis promotion 4
the rang OF major general
He VAS regarded ~ army head
"a one OF he most fearless and eai
Gent officers IN the United State
forces.
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20
DEARTH OF FUEL
MAY KEEP 10000
FROM SCHOOLS
ICsatisses from page o.eD

sales department; ~ the United FNlel
4 supply company. declined 10 dis
cuss the coal situation az {, applies
20 The schools other than 20 state
thar his company would deliver
coal 20 The board % education as
aeon az Il was delivered 10 the com
pany
The high schools which face a
clCse down because % coal shortage
are Northeastern. Cas- Technical.
Southeastern. Northern and Joyce
Junior The grammar schools
which may be closed this afternoon
or tomorrow are: Bellevue. John.
sou. YYaErHg. vEwBnTY. DNyS
Bishop. Owen. Wabash. Farrand.
Fairbanks LIllibridge and Marcy.
Mayor swsmped BY Calls.
The mayors ONCE Tuesday morn.
ing stlll was being swamped by
calls ~ citizens who declared they
werc unable % get coal from their
regular dealors Capt Alvin Hicks
The Detroit times., 1917-02-20

Edward Dresser Of Big Rapids: No
n. IL r.. Dotsch OF EscAnAba. and
Herman Lunden Of Lewiston; No,
II. Robert II. Shields OF HouEhton,
and Robert A. Douglas OF ironwood:
No. IL, John s. Haggerty and c.
w. Burton OF Detroit