davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

her chin in her hand and thought.
that hour ever be up? What would
Mamma say when she came II nd
found that Jane hadn't darne the
hole in the handkerchief? Goodness
me, she was tired--oh-so-tired
and
Just then "A remarkable thing hap
pened. From right before her very
eyes. the needle jumped out OF the
handkerchief and hoped to the edge
of the table. And presently the
thread, seemingly of its own accord
began to pull itself out of the eye OF
the needle.
"Gracious" cried Jane. And she
sprang from her chair and ran to the
side of the table to see if anyone were
pulling it. But
"Ha. Ha" cried n shrill voice right
behind her. Jane turned.
There stood three of the queerest
little figures she had ever seen. They
looked like Brownies and they were
laughing and grinning at her in mos'
tantalizing fashion. They were dressed
alike. in tisht-fitting garments thai
covered them from head to toe and
showed what fat little "tummies" they
had.
The one IN front-the one who had
said "Hn, Ha."-was holding a needle
in his tiny hand--the very needle
which Jane had thrown on the table
And the queer little follow right be-
hind him was holding the thread!
"Oh." cried Jane.
Don't be afraid. Jane" said tn;
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
x In the Beginning x

Would you believe. Jack, that th.
huge tree grew from n tiny seed no
larger than a pea" he said
"Whew! You don't say So" ejacu-
lated the boy.
Yes" continued the uncle. little
by little it has taken to itself bulk
and form. Learn from this what can
be done in our efforts to perfect our
selves If we will be content to grow
in knowledge by slow degrees. Many
of the things which you and the other
children in your class cannot under
stand just now will. by perseverance
and effort, soon be clear to you. One
new fact day is something gained.
but by diligence you can do much bet
this tree which is so perfect now, had
easy sailing in the beginning? No. it
had to strive against winds, and
storms, and the burning rays Of the
sun, and it did this IN the beginning,
when it was but a slender little plant"
Uncle waited for his words to take
root. and then he continued: "All
beginnings are difficult, and therefore
it is important that you pay special
attention at the outset. January is
the beginning of the year. and 1t is
the time when you should begin to
form your habits that you mean to
continue throughout the other eleven
months"
Jack looked up at his Uncle and his
Uncle knew that he understood.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

with quite nice crowd OF children
coats and one or two big girls, in the
audience. Sammy got up and made a
speech first, giving sketch Of Caesars
life. When he got through everybody
clapped as loud as they could and
cried, Hear! Hear" Then the con-
cert began.
At first Caesar would not sing ont at
all. He went through all the motions,
but his voice was mere whisper. But
Sammy played alone on his mouth
organ for Il while, then the dog shut
his eyes and began TO howl-oh, my.
how scared some OF the little ones
We're! BLANC, plang! went Bob's wash
boiler. Fee, fee! went the flute. Zum,
yum. went the comb. But Caesars
voice was the loudcst OF all.
More children came and more pins
went into the box that little Peter
held. The concert was in full blast,
when suddenly in burst two men. one
carrying a revolver and the other a
stout club.
What Is this racket all about ?" do
manded the man with the revolver.
'lts-it's concert" replied Sammy.
"a concert. is it?" said the man.
"Why, you've scared the neighbors out
Of their wits! They thought a murder
was being committed and sent for me
I'm the Sheriff. And he threw open
his coat and showed his badge.
"We-we're awful sorry" stammered
Sammy. at was real fine music.
Caesar, my dog. has a fine voice. We
didn't mean to scare anybody, Please
don't arrest u.s.
"Of course not" replied the man
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

pOsSlbIN W. Nt'N'ii'''' - N'i'.N'''4s
remarked. "But SGT her 10 work with
needle and thread and-well she's just
|horrid. She hates sewing--and she's
Pail thumbs as they say!"
Which was the truth. Jane loved to
I''mcss Ground" with pots and pans in
thc kitchen, as old Aunt Dinah put it:
but 1t seemed absolutely impossible for
bier to sew without pricking her finger
hnd losing her temper and accomplish
bng nothing whatsoever.
For that very reason, Mamma was
bill the more insistent that Jane learn
how to sew. Every little girl should
know how to handle her needle"
Mamma would say, land you must be
patient about 1t and try. even il you
don't like sewing. Why, my dear, one
&b~ur Of an afternoon three times a
:eek is not very much time to devote
Ito so important a task; and if you
will only be interested in your work
you will find that the time will pass
livery quickly indeed"
one aftcrnoon-and not so long ago,
|either--Jane was making Il feeble at
tempt to darn a small hole in one Of
her handkerchiefs. But Jane was not
Interested at all. As a matter of fact,
|she was in n horrid temper Every
thing seemed to 20 wronG; she had to
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
How Monkey Traps Are Made

trapping of monkeys is a difficult op-
GRAFTON. However, nothing could be
farther from the truth than this
hypothesis. Monkeys are easily
caught, not by heavily built traps, but
by sheer ingenuity and the simplest
sort of articles. A monkey has vari-
Gus vulnerable points of attack. so TO
speak; and these are cupidity curl
osity, covetousncss or greed, and a
truly wonderful initiative faculty.
A trapper can take pair of boots
into the jungle, drop them down with
in sight of monkey and soon have
that monkey in a cage. The boots
on his feet appear to be the same
as the boots he leaves: but here Is
where the monkey is mistaken. As
soon as the visitor goes away, the
monkey deScends from some tree and
thrusts his own feet into the boots.
The inside is covered with glue, and
he sticks fast; also the boots are
weighted with lead and chained to-
gether. Thus Mr.. Monkey finds him
self helpless because he was too
| initiative.
The trapper may chain a gourd
/ Illleu WITH COIH VI SOUle OlNFT
| to a heavy log. Mr.. Monkey comes
: along tastes the food, relishes 1t and
wants more. There is no limit to his
greed. He thrusts his hand into the
small opening in the gourd and his
fingers close around a large supply
of the food. Then he finds himself
unable to withdraw his hand. The
trapper advances and captures Mr.
Monkey, because the animals think
ing-cap and his Unsuitable greed are
such that the simple expedient of re-
leasing the food never occurs to him
as n means of escape. So thereafter
Mr. Monkey either lives In a circus
| cage or does tricks for an organ
! grinder
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

ute"
Bob Joyce willingly opened the gate
and came to where Sammy was sitting
on the top step of the front porch of
his home. In front of Sammy sat his
big. yellow collie dog. named Caesar.
"Well?" said Bob inquiringly.
Listen" said Sammy, and picked
up a mouth organ which was lying
beside him. Listen to this. It's beau
tiful."
Sammy blew a few quavering blasts.
Instantly Caesars spine seemed to
grow stiff: he threw back his head and
drew his whiskers forward. Sammy
blew a few more strains. and Caesar
began to tremble with emotion. Then
a queer, hollow sound came up from
his chest--deep. deep down. Sammy
played on and the dogs voice rose with
tho strains; he shut his eyes and made
noises of such a weird. unearthly kind
/ that Bob looked over his shoulder and
muttered: "Oh, Gee" But he appre-
ciated the music and began to beat a
light tattoo on his washboiler. The
sound was--well, it was just indescrib-
able, that's all.
Nov, what do you call that, Ell"
demanded Sammy, proudly. isn't that
beautiful"
We'll" said Bob, IL don't know
bout beautiful. bui it's---it's fine mu-
SIC"
Sure, it's fine music" cried Sammy.
Caesars fine dog, he is, You'd have
to look round the world before you'd
find another dog like Caesar. / mean,
a private dog. Course there's plenty
of clever dogs in circuses and on the
stage"
Yes" agreed Bob, Caesars some
dog He's some singer"
"Do you know" said Sammy solemn
ly, "Id ruther hear Caesar sing than
Miss Ellie up at church,"
mo" exclaimed Bob. You dom,
say So Well, its natural cause hes
your own dog. You saved him wher
he was little
I'D give him credit even IL III
wasn't my dog" replied Sammy. 90
know good voice when ! hear 1t
You know what I'm going to do? Tn
going TO have concert in the barr
this afternoon. and Caesar is going tc
sing"
Bob began to be quite interested, as
he was business man in his way.
Lets charge three pins and your
sister can make us some signs-bill-
boards, you know. TN be great" he
said.
"Can you bring that drum" asked
sammy, grinning and pointing at the
washboiler
Il guess | can" replied Bob. cts
got leak in It, and ! was Just taking
1t to be mcnded. We won't need 1,
until wash day"
Just then Sammy's sister, Title
came out OF the house. She was two
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

while Tille got her comb and tissue
paper ready and got Buster Hunt, the
twin who had the flute, and her little
brother, Peter. and went to Hills
barn.
There was quite a crowd there al
ready. Most everybody - that is
among the boys-had something to
play on. Sammy and Bob. with the
help of the others had made plat
form out Of old boxes, for the mu-
sicians to sit on, and n special tall
box was set up in the middle for
Caesar. Soon the performance began
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

&A NV that the New Year is fairly
started, and you are back in
school again" said Uncle John
- to little Jack, his favorite, "how
do you like it, and how are things go
ing?"
"Pokey." answered Jack. laconical-
~. Then he hastily added: you see
| was sick the last half of the Old
Year, and | remained in Glass L and
am repeating the work. Just now at
the beginning the work seems very
slow. Teacher takes up so little new
each day"
80 she should" answered Uncle
John. for much depends on the be-
ginning. a solid foundation is i'm
portant for permanent structure"
Uncle John and Jack were out walk
ing when this conversation took place,
and the Uncle stood still before a high
brick building, He pointed to it and
said:
See yonder building? 1t was made
by placing one brick upon another. II
is so In all great works. Your whole
life Is made up of one little moment
after another. You walk by putting
one foot before the other. Drop add
ed TO drop makes the vast oceans
Therefore, never despise little things
as tho greatest labor becomes easy il
divided into small parts"
They walked on in silence for n few
moments until the Uncle stood still
again. this time before a tree.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
And Bob With Iacl
.AndA Also TIE The Ihcyaw To CONF.

piled Title. Grandma doesn't like
noise. Let's have it over at Hil's
place"
Hills place had been vacant for over
a year and there was n great old barn
in the yard where the children liked
TO play. as II was far enough away
from the neighbors to be out of ordi-
nary ear-shot The boys both agreed
that Hills place was the ideal spot
for concert. Then Tillie got her
paint-box and crayon and all three
children set to work and made signs
or posters, reading like this:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
@OURPUZZLE
LI.OORNER
DIAGONAL.

DIAIONA AL.
If the following are written one be-
low another. their diagonal letters be-
ginning at the upper left hand corner
and ending at the lower right hand
corner will spell girls name.
/. Comical or funny.
2. To cook as in an oven.
8. Weary.
4. Dismal.
s. An article of wearing apparel.
RENERStLS.
1. Reverse a word of five letters,
meaning to drive back and find the
victim of a dread disease. -. Reverse
n word Of four letters, meaning sin,
and find existing. 3. Reverse a word
of four letters, meaning portion, and
find a snare. !. Reverse n word of
FIVE letters. meaning a dwarf. and find
a note in music
ANSWERS.
DEMONSTRATIONS. l. DrOU. g.
Roast 3. Tired. 4. Lurid. ,. Dress
REVERSALN-1. RcpetLepcr. 9.
Eril-liuc. 3. Pdrt-trdp, 4. Ninim-
Mtnin1
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

try over and over again before she
could thread her needle; and then.
after 1t was threaded. the loose end
would catch on something-and 1t
would have to be threaded all over
again! Besides, she pricked her finger
at least three times in the first ten
minutes-and it hurt, too,
Finally Jane threw the handker-
chief down on her little sewing table
in disgust. Il just can't do it-and l
WON'T she declared to herself in
anger. Il don't care what Mamma
says, so I don't"
She gave q big, deep sigh and, rest
Ing her elbow on the table, cuppcd
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

founder, who lived down in the
ocean, where the waters were
0 still and dark, and where the
bottom was just like a big sandy floor
as far as he could see. Now, Gray.
Back was n queer shaped little fell
low, for he was as fiat as any pan
cake you ever saw, and no thicker
than very thin cracker.
He was what one might cal
q left-eyed fish, as he had habit O,
turning over on his side, and looking
up towards the world of light and air,
with that little left eye of his
Now. when he did this. of course
his right eye couldn't see anythin,
but the clean. smooth sand of tn,
bottom,
Now, any eye would get awfully
tired of looking at sand, sand. moth.
ing but sand. SO, that little eye, tn,
one that looked down all the time
got in real bad humor about it
1t wanted to see the big fish SWIMMING
above, and the beautiful marine plants
that waved about in the sun-lit water.
So it just strained and strained trying
to see over the high forehead. Every
day it tried harder than ever before
! 10 get WneTe IL COulu see upwards.
In fact, it tried so hard that the little
head ached dreadfully, but that little
eye never gave up and one day 1t
was perfectly delighted to find that
/ il was actually getting around on the
upper side. Wonderful to relate, that
little under eye, in its constant efforts
| to see upwards, had succeeded in pull
I ing the bones Of the head clear
around until the two little eyes were
, on the same side.
When the little useless eye had set
tied comfortably alongside of the
upper eye. it was perfectly satisfied.
and never tried to move any more.
SO now you know how 1t happened
that founders have both eyes on the
81 me side. They were not born that
way, but the curious fact is just the
result of that one little bottom eyes
determination to become a top eye.
When little Gray-Back would see
a big, hungry looking fish coming his
way. he would just cover himself up
in the sand, and leave only his two
little eyes showing, and the big fish
would swim right over him-and
never know he was there.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

This way to hear the great singing
dog"
Come to the concert at Hills
place."
Caesar the marvellous dog tenor.
Come and hear him,,."
Then Sammy and Bob, with Caesar
trotting at their heels went to tack
up the signs and also tell all the
children they saw to come. Mean
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
CAESARS CONCERT

years younger than Sammy. but she
was clever, plucky and full of good
ideas. The boys told her of their plans
and Title was quite delighted
Il can play on a comb dandy" she
said, land one of the Hunt twins has
a flute. But | don't think we'd better
have the concert in our barn"
"Why not?" asked Sammy.
because it might be too noisy" re-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18


trapped. AS matter of fact, the
monkey came from Asia. Africa or
South America. The last mentioned
have nostrils widely separated whereas
the Old World monkeys have them
close with a narrow nasal septum.
One might readily imagine that the
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

AY, Bob" called Sammy Roop,
as he spied his chum sauntering
down the street. carrying a
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
JANE AND THE
NEEDLE'S.EYE
GNOMES

EFT Jane so into the kitchen ana
try to cook, ana she's as happy
and earnest as child could
l nossiblv be" Mamma frequently
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18
HOW LITTLE GRAY.
BACK CHANGED
HIS EYES

= TITLE Gray Back was q baby
founder, who lived down in the
ocean, where the waters were
still and dark, and where the
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-01-18

II EN- we see IN the street an
organ grinder with his little
red-capped pet monkey, we
seldom stop to think of the
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
RENEWED TESTIMONY.

No one in Paw Paw who suffers
backache, headache, or distressing
urinary ills can afford to ignore this
Paw Paw woman's twice-told story.
1t is confirmed testimony that no
Paw Paw resident can doubt.
Mrs. S. H. Harris, LaGrave and
Pine Sts., says:-"I suffered for a
long time from a lame and aching
back and before using Doan's, could
find nothing that would relieve me.
tired easily and had no comfort
when sitting or lying down. l suffer-
ed so severely at times | was kept
awake at night. Doan's Kidney Pills
procured from Lorgwell' Bros. store
went right to the spot and rid me Of
the trouble" Statement given No
vember 3rd, 1906.)
On October 9Th, 1916, Mrs. Harris
said: when / have any signs of
my kidneys being disordered Doan's
Kidney Pills always relieve me-"
Price 60 cents at all dealers. Don't
simply ask for kidney remedy-get
Doan's Kidney Pills-the same that
Mrs. Harris had. Foster-Milburn Co.
Mfgrs. Buffalo, N. Y.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21

REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS
Earl E. Copley & w. to James
Cotton ct al. Pei. Blk. as" Decatur
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21

$1.0O
Edward ]. Rawson & w to carney
Udell, Pei. Blk. ar" Decatur-$1. 90
julius J. Guse & w. to Charles
Gnodtke & w. Pei. Sec. 33, Covert
$1.00
Charles J. PAUL G. w. to John w.
Swoap e. w. Pei. Sec. II, South Haven
100000
Lester Hoyt & w. to Rosina f.
Hamilton. Pei. 23 acres, Sec. %, AL
mena-$1.00
Stanford Overton to John S. Waller
& w. 224 acres, Sec. IL, Bangor
$4,000
Leland r. Warner to Joseph Tan
chen & w. Pei. Sec. 26, Waverly, $1.O0
Ella M. Moulton to Anthony Peck
Northrop, Pei. Blk. 1, Hodges AID.
Lawrence-$1.00
Robert Everton Cushman & w. to
Hedwig Mann, Pei. Ia acres, Sec. 16,
Hartford-$1400.00
Neal S. Oaks ct al. to Claude Gray
& w. Pei. Sec. Fl, Decatur-$1.0 90
Phillip Kamp & w. to Jacob Stark
Pei. Sec. 35, Columbia-S1.O
Ralph Kooistra & w. to Joseph
Kouw, Pei. Sec. 10, Decatur-$1. 90
South Haven Board of. Trade to
Marshall Castings Co. Pei. Sec. 10,
South Haven-$1.00(
Ludwig Gunderson & w. to Sylves-
ter Hogmire, Pei. Sec. 20. Arlington
$4,000
Charles G.. Burhans & w. to Mar
shall Cotton Pei. Sec. 35, Paw Paw
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
PROBATE COURT PROCEEDINGS

Estates Of
John f. Wilcox, decd. No claims
led. Estate closed to creditors.
William III. Havens. decd. Order
allowing final account and assigning
residue.
John Quakenbush, decd. Order al
lowing final account and assigning
residue.
Ellen Arlene Forbes, decd. Order
granting authority to Administrator
to mortgage real estate.
Francis Pennoyer, Minor. Testi-
plony of Freeholders filed. License
to sell real estate issued.
James Stewart, decd. Order al
lowiK final account and for payment
o. cl ms pro rata.
Nay H. Cobb, Incompetent. Or
der appointing Calvin d. Myers as
Guardian. Bond issued.
Emma A. Baker, decd. Bond filed
and letters of Administration issued
appointing Appraisers and hearing on
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
Al .GsS~
Always Have PERUNA r.

Mrs. L. A. Patterson. 1899 Kentucky
St, Memphis. Tennessee, writes:
Il have been friend of Peruna
for many years. l have used 1t of
and on for catarrhal complaints and
found 1t a very excellent remedy.
! have a small family of children.
Times are hard with us, but l can
scarcely afford to do without Peru.
ma, especially during the season of
the year when coughs and colds
are prevalent. We always recon.
mend Peruna to our neighbors, for
the benefit it has been to u.s."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21

Der A.. d. 1917, have been allowed
for creditors to present the claims
against said deceased to said court
for examination and adjustment, and
that all creditors of said deceased
are requested to present their claims
to said court, at the probate Office,
in the Village of Paw Paw in said
county, on or before the 9Th, day Of
April A. ID. 1918, and that said claims
will be heard by said court on Mon
uay vie 9th; day of April A. d. 1913,
at ten o'clock in the forenoon.
Dated, December LIST, A. d. 1917
VIM. Killefer
45tS. Judge Of Probate.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
FreshWater Eels.

Freshwater cells are said to be very
clean feeders; they are sometimes seen
cropping the leaves of watercress and
other aquatic plants as they float about
in the water; but they are immense
devourers Of spawn of all kinds Of
fish.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
Legal Notices.
STATE OF MICHIGAN.
The Probate Court for the County of
Van Buren,.

In the matter Of the estate of
William H. Holt, deceased.
Notice is hereby given that four
months from the Both, day of Novem-
Der A. d. 1917, have been allowed
for creditors to present the claims
against said deceased to said court
for examination and adjustment, and
that all creditors of said deceased
are requested to present their claims
to said court, at the probate Office,
in the Village of Paw Paw in said
county, on or before the 1st, day of
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21

April A. d. 1918, and that said claims
will be heard by said court on Mon
day the LIST, day of April A. d. 1918,
at ten o'clock in the forenoon.
Dated, November 30th, A. d. 1917
VIM. Killefer
45tS. Judge Of Probate.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
claims. Claim day. April 22nd.

claims. Claim day, April 22nd.
Adelber Mcguire, decd. Petition
for appointment of Admir-. filed
Waiver filed. Order appointing Paul
d. Mcguire Admr. Bond filed and
letters issued. Claim day, April %
Mary c.. Reed, decd. Bond filed
and letters testamentary issued to w.
c.. Fogelman. Order appointing APP
praisers and hearing on claims.
Claim day, April 22nd.
Mary M. Merrifeld, decd. Will
and petition to Pre- ,te Will filed.
Hearing January 14tn, 1918.
Edgar j. Benson. decd. Final &C
count filed. Hearing January 18th.
Eugene H. Reynolds, decd. Peti-
ton for appointment of Administrator
filed. Hearing January 18th.
Julia Laughlir, decd. Warrant
and Inventory filed.
CIRCUIT COURT PROCEEDINGS.
New suits filed:-
Myrtle Pike VS.. William Pike
Bill for Divorce.
Hattie Corcoran VS.. John +. Corco-
can,-Bill for Divorce.
Michigan Central r. r. Co. CA
Corporation) VS.. Charles +. Ashley,
County Drain Commissioner, ct al
Certiorari.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
MARRIAGE LICENSES ISSUED.

Dirk Grasdyk, %, Decatur
Nellie Hank, Is, Decatur.
Clifton Thomas Morgan, 80, Covert
Florence Nettie Friend, 27, Covert.
joey Lyle Rediker. 21, Lawton
Nellie Burlington, Is, Lawton.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21

In the matter Of the estate Of
John d. Sherman, deceased.
Notice is hereby given that four
months from the 1st, day of Decem-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1917-12-21
Boobies Bio Idea.

Bobbie dining out with his mother,
In a CHASTITY whisper)-"Oh, ma, slip
me your powder puff I've spotted the
tableclOth."