Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1917-07-04

Amos Gray, Il used TO clerk IOr AARON
Pike. over at the harbor. He was as
kind-hearted a man as you would wish
to see; but he liked his joke, or, rath-
err. his two jokes. never knew of his
having any more, but it was surprising
how those two lasted him. When you
come to think of it, there is sight of
wear in a joke.
"One of 'em he always brought out
in the latter part of December.
"Do you realize he would say,
some evening when there were a num-
Der of people in the store, that Christ
mas and New Year don't come the
same day Of the week this yearY
"Well, at that someone would be
sure to begin to reckon up, and then
like as not offer to buy peanuts for
the crowd if Aaron wasn't wrong.
When Aaron had proved that he was
right he'd chuckle over it till clos
ing-up time. Then he'd pack that joke
away, so to speak, and have it out as
good as new the next December.
ellis other joke came in April.
Aaron always had daily paper at the
store and, of course, it was natural for
people that came in to pick it up and
read it. The first day of April, in
stead of that days paper he would
have another one that he had been
saving up lying on the counter. 1t
would be dated April first and, when
y oo1~o vi Crhf tho
same day of the week; but it would be
several years old.
'sWeu, year after year it never failed
that someone, and often two or three,
would read that paper without once
realizing that it wasn't fresh news.
"One year we had a lot of fun hear
ing Joe Brown read out loud and make
his sarcastic comments. Joe was on
the opposite side in politics, and he
had q good deal to say about the pa
per's raking up dead issues to deceive
the public.
Later in the day old Uncle Higgins
came in for a quart of molasses, and
saw him pick up the paper and look
at it for a minute. was just going
to speak to him about it, but ne laid
1T down and seemed to be in a hurry
for his molasses; so I said nothing.
about an hour afterwards young
Seth Green, who had been loafng in
the store half of the forenoon, came in
again with broad grin on his face.
"'You've got another victim for
your old newspaper joke, Aaron! he
sang out before everybody in the store.
Then he went on to say that Uncle
Higgins had just started off in his
cart for Bayport, to buy a secondhand
wheel chair that Cole. the furniture
dealer had advertised for three dol
lars He was terribly afraid it would
be sold before he got there says Seth !;
and when I asked him where he saw
the ad, he said he found it in today's
paper at the store
"Then Seth haw-hawed right out,
but nobody joined in. The picture Of
old Uncle Higgins, who was as poor as
poverty, driving six miles to Bayport
to buy q wheel chair for his bed-ridden
wife, only to be disappointed when he
got there, didn't strike the rest Of us
as very comical.
"'And you never told him the ad
was six years oldY says Aaron.
"sWhy, no., says Seth, kind of taken
yaback. wasn't going to spoil your
joke
"Don't you know that joke ought
to be spoiled before it gets to be a
mean ona?' says Aaron. Then, after
thinking a minute, he says: TIL see if
can't spoil it myself; and at that he
stepped to the telephone.
"'This is Pixies store at the Har-
Dor we heard him saying. Got a
secondhand wheel chair to sell? Well
Ia new one, then? What is your very
lowest price to me? All right. Old
Mr.. Higgins from this place will be
along later. When he asks to see the
secondhand wheel chair that you adj
vertised, show him the new one; and
let him have it for three dollars, OF
two and half if he beats you down,
Charge the rest to me. Do you get 1T
Goodbye
"Then Aaron took the old newspaper
and tore it up. This is getting to be
little too expensive says he, 'and
/ guess I'm done with it.
$50 after that, in the room of two
jokes, Aaron got along with one."-
Youths Companion.