davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

This is a mean old world. If man
is always well dressed and well groomed
other men start story that he wears
a corset
When a peaceful citizen sees a man
with a prominent Adams apple who is
wearing q sport shirt, you can't blame
the peaceful citizen for starting case
OF assault and battery.
Unless girls folks have an income
| they do not go to the expense of giving
her coming out.
The reason why girl doesn't mind
having red hair is because her mirror
shows her that 1t is golden.
| married woman will go around the
| house with her hair off and looking like
something the cat dragged in. And then
| she will wonder why her husband hunts
himself an affinity.
/ Some husbands are SO mean that the5
won't quarrel with their wives because
it costs SO much to make up.
1t must give the old stork an awful
pain when he runs across a married
woman who Is as proud of her poodle az
other married women are of their babies
A farmer may miss lot of excitement
But he doesn't have to nave a specialist
treat him for insomnia.
Don't go around carrying a chip on,
your shoulder. Some lad Is likely to
| come along and drive 1t into your neck
One good thing about the pockets in
| the skits is that girl doesn't find il
necessary to lug AROUND a fancy gunny
| sack in order to carry a stick of chew.
ing gum, a handkerchief and powder
rag.
Why did the women folks wait unit
| fall to decide to make the skirts shorter
in order to economize on dress material
Don't they know that the summer cars
will soon be taken off?
The girl who marries "a man to reform
him never has to complain about mar.
ried life being monotonous
Our women folks are getting prettiel
each decade. And we are glad of it. A
woman ought to be pretty to console he
for being woman at ALL
No good housekeeper wants to be |
liar But 1t is hard for her to admi
that it came from the bakeshop wher
a guest praises the cake.
! Every married man sympathizes wit
ireland. He knows how hard it Is t,
acquire homo rule.
Before you get her she smells Xix,
tattar of roses. After you get her shs
smells like altar of liver and onions.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
ASKING A GREAT DEAL.

AOh1INT a NfthAL 1S1A@AAS
I'm told new type of sleeping car
has been invented. with berths which will
enable person to stand erect while
dressing or undressing"
'That isn't the kind of improvement
that want to see most" replied the
modest man.
NOR"
81 wish somebody would invent a sleep
ing car in which could sleep late in the
morning and could get to the lavatory
half dressed without encountering the
freezing glances of every woman in the
car"
INTERPRETING WITH WAR WORK.
Look here, young lady! cried the
chauffeur, 'if had been second slower
in applying the emergency brake, you
would have been run over and maybe
killed"
knitter, with Unsurpassed fury. You
made me drop stitchG'
REFORMATION.
you never can tell about woman"
Maybe not"
After several years of vampiring in the
movies, Vera vesselich, known in her
home town as Maggie Simpson, has set
tied down to a quiet domestic life"
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
ALFRED C. EAVES HEREBY Frank Willis Barnett

alight with glory at their courage. I
have large patience with women who
make much of the mon who are ready
to lay down their lives If Uncle Sam
requires 1t of them.
am taking Alfred Curtis Eaves as
type of our best young manhood.
Many will remember him as a high
school boy, and every boy and girl
since 1898. when it's doors opened in
Birmingham, ought to feel a special
pride in him that he did the manly
thing without compulsion and put
aside society, family and business, and
made haste to serve in the ranks of
those who were going to the help of
England. He had Just reached his ma
jority when he heard the call. He
could have remained here and had, a
good time without anyone's crtticiz-
ing him. 1t wasn't a bit of patriotism
that his native country was calling
upon him to do. but somehow the
need came floating across the seas
that Englishmen were hard pressed,
and after the awful casualties there
in the trenches when they were I'M
prepared and needed men 1t was like
him to go.
He went to Toronto and volunteered
and was sent to the great training
camp at valcarter. near Quebec,
where he remained three months be-
fore going with the Sixty ninth c. e.
F. canadian expeditionary force) to
England to be further trained near
Brighton. He left Canada in April,
1914.
His regiment was in the second phase
Of the famous battle of the somme. There
is vivid description of it by Gibbs in
the Times of September 49, 1915. 1t must
have been veritable hell of shot and
shell, surprising anything of its kind
ever known up to its time in the his
tory of warfare.
Tt fell to the Sixty-ninth c. E. F. to at
tack Courcelette, the scene of some of
the fercest fighting of the entire war.
IL was tnere that the FAMOUS English
tanks were first brought into play,
crashing through the big sugar refinery
as though 1t was an eggshell It was the
beginning of the time when England was
to show the Germans that with an equal
number of men and guns and ammunition
they could Outright and out-shoot them.
IF seams ha nd to realize that one of orr
boys, raised here in our midst and used
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
Like Graduate Work
In Great University

m N another page of today's Age
VI Herald will be found an arti-
ticle by Charles Wallace Collins, a
young Albanian and at one time a
citizen of Birmingham, describing a
branch of the government that is lit
tie known to the general public the
legislative reference service of the
Library of Congress, of which Mr..
Collins has charge.
1t is distinctly educative and in
many respects is like graduate work
in great university.
1t will be read with great interest
by lawyers and students of economics,
and the more widely known this de-
partment of the library becomes the
more general will be it's use. Several
experts are employed there to assist
Mr.. Collins in his research labors, and
every visitor to the library interested
in government finance or legislation
bearing on any phase of constitution
al or international law will be well
coined and accorded the most cour-
teous attention.
1t will be recalled that. Mr.. Collins,
the writer of the article to which at
tention is directed, is the author of
two books of high value" The Four
teenth Amendment and the States"
and "The National Budget System
and American Finance" the latter
issuing from the press of the Mac
MILAN company of London and New
York, only few weeks ago.
"The Fourteenth Amendment" is an
exhaustive treatise, and while it is
expressed in technical language, it is
a work that has an appeal for the
average layman of studious habits
"The National Budget System" was
intended to meet a public want and is
altogether free from technical terms
1t has already gained favorable com
ment from many distinguished pub
licists.
But not the least important of Mr.
Collins constructive work is his de-
velopment of the reference service Of
the Library of Congress, about which
he now writes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

to- the best, should have passed through
such battle without being harmed, to
lose his life in going to the aid of
mighty proud of him.
A letter, after six weeks suspense for
father and mother, came from the colonel
of his regiment telling how Alfred had
wanted to go to the rescue of one Of the
wounded men who was exposed to the
shell fire, but was warned not to do so,
as it might cost him his life. The Of
ficer passed on. but our Birmingham boy
couldn't hear the cries for help without
trying to give aid, and he was found
dead with a hole in his head lowering
over a wounded Canadian.
-
II you can visualize the scene without
having q grip at the heart and tighten
ing in the throat hold you in con-
tempt, for out there somewhere in
France Birmingham boy died to keep us
free Yes, and word will soon be COM
ing back that more of our loved ones
are giving their life's blood for their
country, and then, perhaps, some people
will quit asking why America is in this
war.
I am sorry for any city, state, or ma
ton that has put aside hero worship.
Even dour old Thomas Carlyle gave us a
series Of splendid pictures of heroes who
were worthy to be enshrined in the hearts
of mankind, and SO instead of letting
hero worship die out I want it revived;
and that's one reason why I have told
the story of Alfred Eaves.
Yesterday asked DR.. Eaves about the
date of Alfred's death and was told that
it took place Just one year ago. Now, we
all know that DIR. Eaves has stood in this
community and in this state for a noble
and unself1sh work. His fight against the
great white plague has been waged hard
and long with little help, and yet being
the father of Alfred he has fought on,
and will unto his death.
Now, here Is chance for Birmingham
to do a worthy thing. The first blood
of the war so far as we are concerned was
shed by Alfred Curtis Eaves. I suggest
that 1t would be a gracious and appro-
pirate thing to raise memorial and call
It after him, not memorial in stone or
brass, but building to be erected out on
Red mountain at the tuberculosis camp.
If this meets with response, let those
interested get together and formulate a
Plan and work out the details. I believe
the public will do the rest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

Say what you please. the world will
never Cease to respect the man who
gives his life for his country.
/ am thankful that here in Bir-
mingham we do not have to go out
side of our own boys to find heroism,
for long before America got into the
war son of DR.. George Eaves, an
Englishman by birth, but an Ameri-
can by adoption. was stirred to go to
the help of the mother country.
Without any publicity or desire for
notoriety, young Alfred Curtis Eaves
quietly babe good-by to his family
and few friends and crossed the
Canadian border and volunteered for
service.
1t was a high purpose and a coura-
geous heart that made him give up
place and position and go out to bat
tie for what he thought was the right.
The blood of his English ancestors
was calling to him and he could not
live a life of ease and comfort
The test comes sometime in life to
every true man to take the road of
sacrifice. and there is something
splendid in the way in which Alfred
chose to walk in it with head erect,
even though it led to the can
mons mouth. and to death.
Txy
the crash of battle, ought not to let
those who volunteer to fight for our
liberties go unrewarded If they give
up their precious lives to safeguard
our democracy, and we ought to frown
upon everyone who holds lightly the
need and try to make it appear thai
it's the glamour of war and not any
sense of responsibility which makes
our lads go to the front.
Yes, sir; take off my hat to the
boys in khaki. am willing that they
should step proudly and walk as II
they owned the earth. I like to see
their cockiness. The very spirit of
youthful braggadocio is pleasing. Let
them swing their swagger sticks to
their hearts content. To me they are
fine bunch and I am strong for
them.
It's foolish to try and laugh at or
chide women for loving the soldier
boys The eyes Of grandmothers light
UP at their presence. The eyes of
mothers look on them with wistful
PRIDE The eyes OF sweethearts are
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

Without making any comparisons
with Atlanta. New Orleans. New York
or any other city. I am firmly con-
WINGED that Birmingham is the best
place in the world in which to live.
The two years that have spent here
have been delightful. The good people
of Birmingham make strangers feel at
home from the day they take up their
residence in the most attractive resi-
try; and the sentiments which 1 and
my family feel toward Birmingham
may be expressed best in the lines
which 1 shall attempt to quote from
memory:
There Is a place in every land the
pride
Beloved by heaven Ger all the world
beside.
Where brighter suns dispense serener
lights
And milder moons emparadise the
night
That is home--of all the earth SUI
The fairest. dearest. sweetest spot
of all the rest"
In leaving Birmingham for even g
short time. until the war ends, 1t is
arated from those who have been
kinder by far to me that have de-
served.
Among other regrets in leaving Bir
mingham is that my duties in Wash
ington. or wherever the surgeon gen
eral may think that can best serve
will not give me the time to continue
the series OF articles on food con.
servation and health that I have beer
contributing to The Age-Herald. Ev
cry physician knows the need for the
public to be educated upon matter.
pertaining to personal hygiene, par
ticularly regarding diet and nutrition
and the preparation of these article.
has given me pleasure. They have
been hastily prepared in the few spar,
moments of busy doctors daily du
| ties and I realize their imperfection
| but If they have carried the message
Of rational eating to anyone they hav'
been worth the trouble to the writer
The best that have hoped for Is tina
something that / have written nigh
stimulate an interest in the subject o
| individual hygiene that might Undue
some to read and study the reall,
good books on diet and nutrition an
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

In ending the series of articles at
least for the present. that I have pre-
pared on food conservation and health,
believe that I can perform no better
service than to urge those who may be
interested In personal hygiene to purchase
and read the book. How to Live" II
one will give half hour day to study
ing this book. in a month he will have
more scientific and accurate information
about individual hygiene than he has
ever dreamed Of before. In the intro
duction of How to Live" ex-President
Taft says: Il commend this volume to
the earnest consideration of all who de-
sire authoritative guidance In improv-
ing their own physical condition or In
making effective the knowledge now avail
able for bringing health and happiness
to our people,.
have urged, not only for patriotic
reasons, but for promoting health >and
longevity, that one should not eat meat
more than once day. that cornbread
should be used as a substitute for wheat
for at least one or two meals day,
and that the person who is overweight
should cut down the use of fats and
sweets, not only for his own well being
but to help win the war. have also
expressed the opinion that coffee, tea
and caffeine drinks that are sold at the
soda founts are stimulants that should
not be taken regularly. desire it I'M
derstood that I am not a reformer but
have expressed opinions for those who
read to accept or reject as they may
see fit.
In closing the series I can perhaps do
no better than to quote the lines from
Burns:
I'm ploughmans phrase, God bid ye
speed,
still daily to grow wiser.
And may ye better 'reck the reed
Than 'eer did the adviser"
Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
State Fair Only
Three Weeks Off

1T7 HE gates of the Alabama State
u Fair will be thrown open three
weeks from tomorrow and there is
reason to believe that the attendance
will be exceptionally large. All our
fairs have been we'll worth seeing, but
the forthcoming event win be the best
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
HOW TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH

FROM Farm ana tlreSide.
In brushing the teeth, the brush
should be held across the teeth and at
the top Of the gums of the upper jaw.
The bristles should be drawn down to
the bottom of the teeth, following the
spaces between. The lower jaw Is then
treated by beginning at the gums and
drawing the brush up toward the top.
In this way the teeth are cleaned and
al, particles removed between them. Be
sure that every tooth is scrubbed. Then
take the brush and go over them all
oIce more, working this time with cir
cular motion so that no particle Is left.
Rinse the mouth with water, ana the
work is done.
Even with great care there is some
times a slight accumulation Of tartar, so
every week you must give the teeth a
treatment especially to remove this. It
is easily and quickly done standing In
front of a mirror. Take an orange wood
ton around the top. Dip this into lemon
juice and then into powdered pumice
stone and rub the teeth. The discolored
parts will very soon disappear. When
the operation is over. rinse the mouth
with a glass of warm water that has
a teaspoonful of soda dissolved in It.
! The soda will neutralize the effect of the
lemon. Another homely but very good
way to remove the tartar is to scrub the
teeth once or twice week with COM
mon table salt, wetting 1t thoroughly
before using. The care Of the teeth
/ should begin in early chtldhood-only
in this way can your teeth be preserved
and early habits usually last through
| life
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
Mystery of How
Money Was Spent

6OSEPH B. MARTINDALE, at the
~ time of his death in a hospital in
New York, president of the Chemical
National bank, not only robbed an
elderly lady who was one of the bank s
large depositors of 100000, but
squandered his own estate, amount
ing to several hundred thousand dol
lars; and what went with the money
is still mystery. Officers of the
bank have not been able to find any
thing that would suggest motive.
Mr.. Martindale was married, but
he and his wife were separated for a
time. They We're reconciled, how
ever, shortly before his death. They
had, to all appearances, lived a quiet
life. Mr.. Martindale had no expen-
sive habits-so far as his friends
knew. If he ever specialized in Wall
street no one connected with the bank
was aware of it.
He had never been suspected of
wrongdoing of any kind. The money
he stole from the elderly lady and the
squandering of his own fortune
amounted to about $1,00O,0OO. At one
time his income was fully 100000 a
year. Here then is mystery sur
passing the exciting tales of fiction.
1t is hard to realize that a man
who started out in life with high bust
ness ideals and was grounded in
probity should have yielded to temp
tation and gone over the moral
precipice.
AS youth he earned a good salary
and before he was thirty-five began to
save at rate that made him rich.
There was no evidence of his being
avaricious. He accumulated for
tune honestly and was considered one
of the solid men of New York as well
as one of the best of finaRciers.
While not much has been traced
that throws light upon the dead mans
populations, it has been discovered
that he began to steal from the banl
sixteen years ago while he was as
sistant cashier.
The Chemical National is one of tn,
strongest banks in this country ant
the depositor whom Mr.. Martindal
robbed was promptly reimbursed GU
of the undivided profits. Any maj
working for bank who "rolls high
will bear watching, but in case lik
Mr.. Martindale's there was no ap
parent reason for suspicion.
The United States comptroller O.
the currency will put additional safe
guards around the institutions h
supervises, but after all men occupy
ing places of responsibility must b
trusted. Fortunately most men ar
honest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

BEGINNING THE DAY-HeIp me,
Lord, to go quietly with Thee to-
day, and in Thy strength to meet
all things. Help me not to complain
if the burden grows heavy, or to
whine if my disaster comes. Help
me, O great God, to play the game
through, and to meet Thee in the
evening unashamed. In Chrlst's
name. Amen.-H. Nj. e.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
AND ELSEWHERE
AIabama,s BountlfuI Crops

This is bountiful crop year Cor
AIao anna said J. G. Whitfield. 4 have
returned from an extended trip over the
state and I never saw finer crops In
this section.
The beauty of it, too, is they are d.
VersR1ed. alabama farmers have re-
sponded nobly to the call for increased
food production. thereby proving them
selves progressive and patriotic. This
rat year, following several lean ones, is
welcome indeed. Providence and the
farmers have done their part for the
state"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
THE IMPERTURBABLE BRrroN

From the London Globe
LORD Roseberry's motor car smashed
into motor bus at Walham Green re-
Gently. Beyond some broken glass and
dented panels, however. no damage was
done. A feature of the incident was the
imperturbable demeanor of his lord ship.
who throughout the mishap continued
his perusal Of small voiume which en-
crossed his attention.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16
ITALIAN CIGAR LIGHTER

From the Popular Science Monthly for
October.
The Italian substitute for the neat and
convenient cigar lighter found in every
American cigar store is a long rope
lighted and placed outside Of the to-
bacco shop. 1t is made OF cheap hemp
OF rope waste, and even Of rags twisted
roughly into shape and held together by
strings Of twine The improvised lighter
is made by the storekeeper himself.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-09-16

of them, both from agricultural and
amusement points of view.
The live stock exhibits, especially
beef cattle and dairy cows, will be
highly educative. We have had dairy
demonstrations before, but at this
years fair Auburn will have the most
complete demonstration ever seen In
the south. 1t will be feature that
should attract cattle raisers and
dairymen from every state in the cot
ton belt.
The farmers, as rule, have spare
time in October, but owing to the un-
precedented crops this year the har-
vest will keep them busy until No
vember. But the Importance of the
fair will justify every tiller of the soil
and every grower of hogs and cattle
to stop work for a few days and come
to see and hear what will be of real
profit.
1t is said that most of the men ex-
empted from military service because of
physical disability could be taken in
hand and made fit for the firing line.
Some of those chaps would have to be
caught first.
If the Russians don't hurry up and
pull themselves together with an asser-
ton of common sense the late autoc-
racy will be in a position to say, I
told you so.''
II Count Luxburg Is willing to con-
cede that he is a notorious ass" the
Argentines may be willing to let by
cones be bygones-for the present, at
any rate
'.Deroy Day" in Birmingham would
have been greater success If the
weather man hadn't permitted summer
to horn in and spoil the festivities,
q
Turn a few fiEst-class reporters loose
on murder mystery like that involving
Mrs. King, and the fiction writer's have
to take a back seat.
John Barleycorn's last gasp. Macon
News. IT'S the fashion SO to speak. but
John has great many gasps left in
his system yet.
One things certain. Sweden's King
doesn't dare to interrupt while his Ho-
henzollern spouse is INDUCING in her
morning hate.
Another form of camouflage is the
kind that makes you think a modern
grandmother, seen across the street, is
a chicken.
American troops training at Yaphank,
N. T.. could spread terror among the
Germans by carrying that name to
France.
Tightwads should begin working on
their purse strings. 1t will soon be
time to subscribe for some more Liberty
bonds
Editor Kelley of the Chicago Herald
says his paper is no white-livered paci-
fist. Bring on your damage suits!
Cowboy hats are no longer popular in
Chicago. Further proof that big Bills"
erstwhile popularity has vanished.
n
The circumstantial account of the way
the British sank eight U-boats is Just
bit too circumstantial, what7
y
With Triest almost in their grasp,
there's apparently no stopping those
hard-hitting italians.
X X
You never can tell. The chap who
sings lover There" the loudest may be