Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1917-03-30
BY Carolyn Beecher.
CHAPTER VIII.

! passed the men of the town l knew
that they looked admiringly at me, and
this flattered my vanity. Had | stopped
to think / should have known that 1t
was at least partly due to my clothes,
which were in advance of the styles i'm
the town. But | imagined their glances
a tribute to my beauty, and resented
the fact that Robert forgot to contrib
ute his share to the extent he did before
VIC were married.
| craVed the admiration he was either
too busy or too worried TO give me.
| think | was in love with Robert
when | married him. ! tried to think
myself still in love. When | married
him the men | knew. the ones who had
courted me, we're envous Of him be-
cause he had won me. But as troubles,
or what | considered as such, came !
lost that something that makes life
between a man and a woman the holy
thing it was intended to be; and in it's
place came an unreasoning jealousy of
Robert because of his good looks and
distinguished bearing and a determine
tion not to demean myself by associat-
ing with the people he seemed deter
mined to make his associates.
/ very seldom went out. Robert de-
clared that we couldn't afford amuse-
ments if we kept Matilda, and as ! had
insisted she stay--at least for the pres
emit had to remain at home. Robert
claimed l was illogical when ! refused
TO meet the people he wished me to,
and yet complained of my loneliness.
BE little more sociable. Margaret"
he used to say, you'll have a better
time and 1t may help me, although
90 not suppose that means anything 20
you" he added, his tone reeking with
the bitterness he could not but feel
Women look upon life so differently
from men. Most of us have queer view
points, and no logic. Roberts way
with me was the way OF most big men
with women. of petty ideas. He tried
to soothe while he resented.
II am young and handsome" ] remem-
Der telling him, and very much alive.
IF you do not see it, other men do! J
want love and attention. You spend
your life in. that old musty office, and
expect me TO spend mine in this old ugly
house. I won't do it. l WON'T"
All women like to be admired. But
with me it was an obsession. ! watch
ed mems faces as I passed them in the
street and scarcely ever failed to see
what | was looking for.
A young healty woman whose hands
are idle is in just as much danger as
a young man under tive same conditions
danger of allowing erotic thoughts, I'M
healthy ideas to creep in and poison her
mind. Had | attended to my home in
stead of hiring Matilda, I should have
had money for healthy amusements, and
less time for brooding.
you have no business in the kitchen
Mrs. Senator Plunkett never put her
foot in Matilda said to me- You
belong in the parlor.'
Her crude statement was but the ex-
A. 7
wanted to be an ornament in my hus-
bands home, not a helpmeet. That /
was neither was pitiful, but didn't real
ize it.
Strangely, while giving no thought TO
my vows to love, cherish, and obey, I
expected Robert to live up to the very
letter Of his marriage contract. He had
promised to endow me with worldly
goods, as we'll as to love and care for
me; that he had not as yet been able to
make our expenses was a constant irrita-
ton.
7 often wondered why I should be so
Inundated. I was too immature to
know that the humiliations were but
stepping stones in rounding my char
acter.
In desperation-afte Robert had told
me Matilda must go because we needed
the money to pay our necessary expenses
Il had written to father. I told him as
little as I could. while making it plain
we needed help until Robert should be-
come established He replied in a cold
little note that he had done all he in
tended to when we were married, that
Robert must make his way independent
of him, as he himself had been COMPEL
ed to do when he was young man. He
sent me check for twenty-five dollars
Ca1f h. hod nd
then closed by again repeating that we
need not look TO him-that his family
needed all he had.
blamed my stepmother for that let
teri found out long afterward justly
so. 1 dared not tell Robert | had writ
ten father so said nothing save that dad
had sent me twenty-five dollars as y
present.
Get yourself something you need,
desr!' Robert said, land when you write
home be careful you don't say anything
to let your father think | either need OF
would receive any help. I'll win out
some way. but | will not put myself un
der obligations or run into debt--save
10 you" He smiled wryly as he finish
ed.
/ thought him Quixotic, yet his indie
pendent way of talking proved how right
had written father.
I was in my little chintz hung
dressing room when Robert returned
that afternoon. He looked tired, but
there was a CLEAN in his eye had never
before noticed look of command ne
had never worn for me.
Unless l get in some money by to-
morrow, Matilda must go" ne remarked
without preamble, as he, contrary to his
custom, Invested himself of his outer
clothing in my dainty quarters.
Matilda will not co. | declared,
quickly losing my temper.
"She certainly will" And he laid a
sheaf Of bills before me--bills from the
butcher, grocer. and other tradesmen
the total of which frightened even me
INTO silence.
CHAPTER TX.
IN HE next morning as Robert was
putting on his coat he very quiet
" remarked:
You must tell Matilda she must look