The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1917-03-23

The world do move. First we had a
Judas, then Benedict Arnold, and
now the tilIibusterer.
Spade up the back yard but save
the worms. They may be in demand
before the summer is over.
"Mexicans submitting to the BATH"
says southern dispatch. Impossible
don't believe word of it.
Many fellow sits at the head Of
the table and fondly imagines that he
is the head of the family, but
Between providing luxuries for the
inner man and the outer woman, this
life is just one long wall Of bills.
Ask any well read man to define
the term international joke" and he
will unhesitatingly say "Carranza."
No, we are not making any caustic
remarks about short skirts. We are
getting new pair of glasses instead.
Yes, Austria is willing to keep
peace with the United States, pro-
vided we are willing to back up and
be kicked.
Those twelve flibusterers have
written themselves place in history,
though the writing be nothing but
Shiny smudge.
Congress proposes to dam the Miss
issippi at cost of $40 100000. Wen
agree to dam it and Congress both
for half the sum.
| Garbage cans should be carefully
disinfected and laid away. There
may come time when they will be
in demand again.
There is no accounting for the ex-
travaganoe of American women.
Cabbage leaves are now being used
for personal adornment.
When you want to know what kind
of man fellow is, just get his
wife's estimate of men in general and
you will call his number.
When a bashful fellow pops the
question and she promptly snaps him
up, he begins to wonder what in
thunder he ought to do next.
We note however, that our brethren
of the press are consistently mum on
the subject Of civilization. So are we
for we never lament over dead dog.
The bum actor is the only man we
know OF who has cause to approve the
high price of eggs, for no man cares
to hucl a fortune at another these
days.
Senor General Don Victorano Car
rama has been duly and pompously
elected President of Mexico, but |
darned if we know which one Of em
he claims.
Eggs shaved two cents" says a
headline. Gosh. We always thought
these storage companies kept them
until they grew boards, and now we
have the proof.
The twenty-seven greatest liars of
the universe have been discovered
They are seniors in Princeton Uni
versity and profess never to have
been kissed by girl.
Even if nothing worse transpires,
some traitors in this country are
likely to be taught the value of re-
spect for the flag under which they |
get their bread and butter.
No man is too old or too young to
fight for his home and his rights in
this country, and if the worst comes |
we can put twenty million men under |
arms provided we can get the arms.
A fellow who has become multi
millionaire from war profits has
founded an institute for the study of
the consequences of war. Probably |
expects to be the whole-show himself. |
Health authorities predict that the
habit of riding in automobiles will
make Americans a legless race. We
have noticed a tendency in that direc-
tion, especially as it relates to pedes-
trians.
The war, after all, might have been
worse. Only 100000 men have been
killed thus far, with 100000 or so
minus arms, legs, eyes, and other
portions of their anatomy. Yes, it
might be worse.
How we long for the sight of a
freck!e-faced, bare-footed boy with a
stone bruise and genuine case Of
old-fdshoned bellyache. 1t would
assure us that nature after all has
not ceased to be kind to her children.
! a motion picture camera has been
perfected that will take 400 separate
pictures between the first and second
shots Of ck-tiring pistol, and
we're going to have one. We've hopes
OF getting snapshot at some OF our
delinquent subscribers rushing i'm to
pay up.