The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1917-08-10

CHAPTER xxlll.-contInued.

CHAPTER XxlIl.-continued.
-16-
There was something peculiarly hor
rifylng TO him In the exhibition Ran
dolph was making of himself. He'C
never In his life taken drink ex
cept cOnvlvlally and then he took N
little as would pass muster. Going of
alone and deliberately fuddllng one
self, as a means OF escaping unplens
ant realities, struck him as an act OF
the basest cOwardlce. But for that
picture OF Rose he'd have gone long
ago and left Randolph to his bemused
reflections. Only Rose had
asked him to drop in on the doctor for
a visit. Did she mean she wanted him
to try to help?
He tried, though not very success
fully, TO conceal his violent disrellsh of
the task, when he said: Look here,
Jim What is the matter with youY
Are you sober enough to tell me2"
Randolph put down his glass. 81
have told you" he said. "Tm Eleanor's
kept man. Well kept, oh, yesI Beau
tifully kept. I'm nothing but a pos
session of hers A trophy of sorts, an
ornament. I'm something she's made.
j have big practice. I'm the most
fashionable doctor in Chicago. They
come here, the women, In shoals.
That's Eleanor's doing. I'm n faker,
a fraud. pose for them. play up.
/ give them what they want. And
that's her doing. They go silly about
me; fancy they're In love with me-
II haven't done lick Of honest work
in the last year. can't work. She
won't let me work. She-smothers me.
Wherever turn, there she is, smooth
ing things out. trying to make 1t easy,
trying to anticipate my wants. I've
only one want. That's to be let alone.
She can't do that. She's Unsuitable.
There's always something more she's
trying to get, and I'm always trying to
keep something away from her, and
failing"
"And why? Do you want to know
why, Aldrich? That's the cream of the
thing. Because we're in love with
each other She wants me to live on
her love. To have nothing else to live
on.
"DO you want to know what my no.
ton of heaven is? It would be to go
handbag, oh, and fifty or a hundred
dollars in my pocket wouldn't mind
that; l don't want to be a tramp-to
some mining town, or slum, where
could start a general practice; where
the things I'd get would be accident
cases, confinement cases: real things,
urgent things, that night and day are
oil alike to. I'd like to start again and
be poor; get this stink Of easy money
out of my nostrils. I'd like to see If
could make good on my own.
81 came back from New York, after
that look at Rose, meaning to do 1t;
to talk it out with Eleanor
md tell her why, and then go. Well,
talked. Talks cheap. But didn't go.
I'll never go. I'll go on getting softer
and more of a fake; more dependent. |
And Eleanor will go on eating me up
until the last thing in me that's me
myself is gone. And then, some day,
She'll look at me and see that I'm moth
Ing"
Then, with suddenly thickened speech
(an affectation, perhaps), he looked up
at Rodney and demanded:
"What are you looking so s-solemn
about? Can't you take joke? Come
along and have another drink"
mo" Rodney said, "T'm going. And
you'd better get to bed"
Rodney walked home that night like
4 man dazed. The vividness of one
blazing idea blinded him. The thing
hat Randolph had seen and lacked the
courage to do; the thing Rodney de-
'pised him for a coward for having
allied to do-that thing Rose had done.
without knowing it, yielding to
,Iind, unscrutinized instinct, he'd want
ID Rose to live on his love. He'd tried
o smooth things out for her, anticipate
Ter wants. He'd wanted her soft, help
ess, dependent She'd seen, even then,
he'd been blind to-sone-
hing he'd blinded himself to-: that
owe, by Itself, was not enough. That
t could poison, as well as feed.
But she had won, among the rest of
Ter spoils of victory, the thing she had
set out to get. His friend
hip and respect. Friendship. he re-
nembered her saying was thing you
ad to earn. When you'd earned it, it
ouldn't be withheld from you. Well,
. was right she should be told that;
lade to understand it to the full. He
ouldn't ask her to come back to him.
tut she must know that her respect
'as as necessary now to him as she'd
nee said his was to her. He must see
er and tell her that.
He stopped abruptly in his walk. His
ones, as the Psalmist said, turned to
,ater. How should he confront that
pze Of hers, which knew so much and
nderstood SO deeply--he with the
Iemory of his two last ignGminious en- h
,unters with her behind him2 h
CHAPTER XIV. ID