Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1917-12-23
The Letters OF Lemuel Bean
By ROY MOULTON

matter how high il was, If only they
would not have me pinchcd for thrust
ing my plebian personality into his
patrician presence.
In a feeble sort of way, like one
who is trying TO curry favor with the
Shah of Persia, ! passed a few jocu-
lar remarks as he was tucking tho
shroui about my neck, but Z was OF
no use He owned more Riverside
Drive apartments tnan |, md there
was a social chasm between us which
could not hope 20 bridge.
In my extremity l even mentioned
my automobile. thot that might
bring us closer together and give rs
a common topic. for undoubtedly he
had automobiles by the score. This
frtllng, ] pulled my sure-fire gag
which has been heard in every musi-
cal show for the past 10 years.
There was a man whose hair was
failing out" said I, "and he waDt to
a doctor, and said. Doctor. my hair
is falling out. Can you recommend
something to keep my hair ~" and
the docto" replied. Yes, cigar box.
Ha! Ha!"
Pardon, please" replied the count
lean the head forward
But he didn't have me spoofed very
long. AS soon as he got down 10
business ] made up MY mind that
altho he might be a foreign noble
man. he was not shaving and sham
pooing Just to be eccentric. He had
barbered before.
1t is extremely difficult for ton
serial artist to disguise himself while
working ~ his trade. There are GER
tain cute little family traits which run
thru > the profession. Whether you
are being shaved In Portland. Maine,
or Portland, Ore, the artist will
give your nose the same tweak when
he Uses It as T. handle TO change your
perspective from east to west.
As coon rs the count had fastened
my nose under my left ear and filled
my rtpht ear with lather to be used
as needed about the face, knew the
truth. Al;h6s he might be e count,
he also belonged TO the Journeym men
BE Gbers' Union, the same as Bill
HICKS back home Wncn he had
filled my mouth ard eyes with lather.
preparatory TO going to the sink for
hot towel. which didn't want,
there was no room for doubt
Not Your Own Boss.
Out home when we 20 to have our
supertlrout habr rensoved we are
given an opportunity to say what we
want and what we don't want You
are also given plenty OF opportunities
to say II at the Hotel Gigantic, but
the opportunities come too late. The
count asked, me whether / wanted a
hot towel or cold one, and before
had time to answer he had given me
the cold one. BARRIERS like the count
dont ask you whether you want n
aH INN n u Czu 90 h1Yn 4,
until they are well along with the
process.
BY the time YOU have made up your
mind and pluched up the courage to
say that you don't want H. you have
got IT,
II requires considerable courage to
gainsay one of these tonsorialists of
foreign extraction.
S'Of course sou will want a mas
sage" he says, working PSYCHOLOGY
on you for an 1t is worth. Mental sug
gestions has long preceded the oral
one. He has been placing expensive
thots in your mind all the time he
mas been working on you. lie knows
that no man likes to be a piker in
barber shop. Men will do things ana
say things in barber shops that they
VIII not do or say anywhere else on
earth %
Somebody has said, "No man is a
hero to his valet" We would move
TO amend by adding "and every man
is an +. z. Mark to his barber"
He is afraid If he shows the slight
est incl!gation toward economy the
barber vii talk about him after he
goes out.
After Shaving. Skinning.
Well, after my shaving was thru.
the skinning came. The first was
purely physical and the second pure
" financial.
The thing ] went In for-the shave
was the cheapest thing / got 1t
amounted to 20 cents, but the counts
10 s1.00.
My feeble, but earnest, attempts to
soften this man had been all in vain.
had used my finest society small
ak and had mentioned things which
thot might interest him in re-