The Washington herald., 1917-01-07
Roundabout the Capitol
BY THE TATTLER.

Representative Cooper. of Ohio. invited
Uncle Joe Cannon to go to his nome
town, Youngstown, and make a speech.
Uncle Joe said he couldn't go. he wasn't
In speaking trim, but that he had rather
go to Youngstown than anywhere he
knew. And as he said 1t. Uncle Joe's
the Congressman by wandering on into
the following story:
Cooper, I got my wife out of Younss-
town. Seems like yesterday when We
stepped before that Justice Of the Peace
and were married. / was Just starting
out to practice law in Illinois. and besides
our railroad fare back home, I Just had
hundred dollars in the world. I hand
ed that hundred dollars to my little new
wife and told her to 60 the nearest store
and buy what we actually needed while
l stepped around to the courthouse.
In about an hour when / went to
Join her, 1 saw her coming to meet me,
much perturbed. She had spent $500 over
the hundred at the store and had come
for me to straighten things out. Right
then and there was up against my first
big responsibility. I wanted my wife
| to have those gods that she had selected
but couldn't have produced another dol
lar to have saved my life. So 1 went
In the store and told the young clerk
who had waited on her Just how 1t was
And he believed in me and shipped US
| the goods.
DO you know who that young clerk
was. Cooper? 1t was Marshal Field"
And Uncle Joe walked of with a mist
in his eyes.
! Senator Harry Lane, of Oregon, Is a
physician, and before he went into poll
tics was for many years superintendent
of the biggest insane asylum in his State.
| One day the Senator's secretary heard
| his bell buzz. He went In to see what
the Senator required but had hardly got
ten more than a foot in the room when
| he was startled with:
Look here, don't you ever go fishing
! for me again."
| Remembering where the Senator had
spent so many years and knowing what
association Is wont to do. the secretary
was on the verge OF backing gently out
of the room when he saw the Senator
| lift a letter from the pile he had been
/ signing on the desk before him. and hold
| it out accusingly
Then the secretary breathed freely
again In the morning mail there had
been letter from one of the Senators 9
! boyhood friends-a letter reminiscent of
the days when they had hit the trail to-
gether; had shared the same shack
cooked out of the same skillet, and had
fished and flshed and fished. Such a re-
freshing letter It was to pick from the
usual senatorial mail and having been
! up against much worse problems than
having to send a chummy sort of letter
back to a fellow-angler, the secretary
undertook the reply with much gusto.
He had viewed the result with q great
deal Of pride, saying to himself that even
the best Of strangers can fish together.
But the Senator would not have II So.
Bring your notebook in," he said.
You can answer all the other letters
you please without bothering me; write
to the President, to my wife or my
grandmother but when the time comes
to go fishing. I want to go myself"
And for nearly an hour the secretary
with his pencil and notebook went with
the Senator on such fishing trip as
there never was. No wonder the Sena-
tor didn't want to be cheated out of liv-
ing It over again!
OF course, the main topic Of converse
tion at the Capitol-outside of the cost
OF food and the raise in hotel rates and
salarfes-is the coming OF Congresswoman
Rankin. The superintendent OF the Cap
itcl Is busy figuring on where he is going
to squeeze in a boudoir-cloak kroom for
the fair lady and whether she prefers
pink or blue cretonne hangings. The
spoiled members are figuring on how
they are going to keep their feet where
| they belong and cut out smoking in the
committee rooms. The bachelors and
widowers among them are figuring on the
Hon. Jeanette herself
With one exception, they opine: Let US
hope 1t will not be summer when she
arrives, for II 1t Is and Tom Hefin bursts
upon her vision in his white finannels and
pink carnation, 1t will be all of.
The one exception. who happens to be
the Hon. Thomas himself Is keeping
quiet, for II Is a well-known fact that
he is violently opposed to woman suf-
frage. but that he is not opposed to fair
woman. Therefore, since Miss Jeanette
is an even mixture OF both, and II has
been proved that she can cook as good a
meal as she can make a political speech,
Mr.. Heflin finds himself in something Of
predicament. He is willing to go to any
lengths to make a good impression, and
he Is plainly worried over how he Is
going to live down his past activities in
opposition to what the Congresswoman
stands for.
Mr.. Chandler, Of New York, has been
Mr.. Sisson, of Mississippi, and two par
ticularly dashing widowers. Mr.. Goodwin,
of Arkansas, and Judge Cantrill, Of Ken
lucky, are also said to be in the run
ming.
But suppose q Congresswoman marries
a Congressman, what then, I have heard
the question asked would she have to
give up her seat in Congressr Hinds' Pre-
cedents has nothing on the subject and
nobody knows the answer. Even II SOL
omon had written the Constitution, in all
his wisdom he couldn't have forseen such
contingency.
Senator Ollie James, Of Kentucky, is a
big man-in stature and otherwise. I
don't know how many hundred pounds all
Of him weighs, but sufficient to have
made tremendous impression when he
hove in sight one night in a sleeper look
ing for a lower berth. All the bowers had
had been taken, and It looked like an
upper for the Kentuckian. In stentorian
tones he announced to the porter;
Il don't like this business oksleepinig in
an upper berth. The last time slept in
one, / broke through"
In less than five minutes. every lower
berth in the sleeper had been pressed
upon the Senator, and the porter heard
his chuckle as he walked through the