Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1917-07-06
Pumpkin Hill News
Some New Pickles

ANN ANNM \ ~
J. Slick Deadbeat, the Pumpkin Hill
mechant, got in some new pickles,
Monday. These pickles are quite an
improvement ove the last barrel Of
pickles Slick got about forty a
ago and a lot Of Pumpkin Hill and
vicinity have come to Sticks store to
admire them. Slick is quite tickled
at this and has put a sign on the bar
rel, reading For Sale" He reckons
he will sell some just as sOon as his
customers, who are a bit sceptical, get
a little more familiar with the new
article. There's no use denying it,
Slick is right there when it comes to
keeping up with the times.
AL Roper, the COW puncher of Gu
cumber Valley, came to Pumpkin Hill
Saturday and got here just as the
members Of the Pumpkin Hill Brass
Band were getting ready to play the
Hobby Horse Gallop" in front of
Slim Plugs livery stable. Al spied the
boys from a distance, swung his rope
and headed that way in a jifFy. When
he got fifty feet from the barn ne re-
allied his mistake and turned back.
AL says that he thought at first that
the band boys were a bunch of stray
steers when he saw their horns, but
soon changed his mind when he heard
them below.
Brainy Cord has sworn off sleeping
on feather beds. Brainy claims that
every time he rolls up in the feathers
to take a quiet nights snooze, he gets
to dreaming and imagines he's a duck.
Monday night he thought he was a
whole flock of ducks and when his wife
saw him he was diving with the NAL
lards in Bill Mutten's pond. When
rescued, Brainy had his nose all bis
tered from humping into fish.
81 Gets Orders
81 Rubbins, who runs the Pumpkin
Hill blacksmith shop, has received or
,ders from the town board to put some
pads on his anvils, so they won't make
much noise when he hits on them.
Sis shop is next to the cemetery and
some of the folks there have been rails
ing a kick about the racket. The
views of the Pumpkin Hill News are
strictly in accord with those of the
town board. A cemetery is a place Of
rest and the sooner 81 finds it out the
better.
Slim Plug has planted some cat
tails behind his cor crib to scare the
rats out.
Lem Saucepan carries a lightning
bug in his watch so that he can tell
what time it is after dark. }
DR.. Tanker, the Pumpkin Hill den
fist has installed a new pair of PIN
cheers which are slightly smaller than
his old pair. Doc says that in the
past he had considerable trouble in
getting the old pinchers in some peo-
pies mouths, yet he prefers the big T
ones because his patients can't swal-
low them so easily.
Smiley Popeye, who has no stable
on his place, says that his COW has
been giving mighty thin milk of late,
owing to the rains. Smiley claims he
can't afford to put up a barn, so he
has painted the COW to make her
water proof. Smiley is quite an artist
when it comes to painting cows.
Silas Fibber, who used to cross
Snake river every day to chase the
crows off his fathers hay rake, is
afraid to 60 near the water now since
he heard some one Jay that fish bite.
The horse doctor of Cucumber Valley
was called to Pumpkin Hill Saturday
night to attend to Hank Parsnip, who
accidently swallowed a horseshoe nail
while picking his teeth.
Ever since Goldie Dimple heard that
potatoes have eyes, she refuses to take
her bath in the cellar.
Bill Mutton put a chunk of ice in
his pasture Monday to decOy some
snow birds which he wanted to kill for
supper.
Nifty Higgins nearly got picked
Sunday night while eating cucumbers
preserves in Mrs. Leghorn's boarding
house.