The Washington herald., 1917-03-18
THE WASHINGTON HERALD. SUNDAY MARCH Is. 1917

venture into tune. It seemed to afford
the youth inspiration.
1T you'll give me chance I'll stage
an act" he began. .Whereupon the d.
rector ordered him to move like q bum
BILE bee. and plunged down the stairs to
hold the curtain another minute.
At the end of that time the stage d.
rector, the audience and the orchestra
leader thought they were going mad.
Out before the footlights staggered the
tenor youth, carrying before him on q
gilt chair the half-dressed-up figure OF q
man whose head wabbled helplessly-hke
a baby who has not yet learned to sit up.
Over the back of the chair hung q tailed
coat. On the lap of the limp individual
reposed pair OF dancing pumps. Putting
somewhat the youth begged the leader
to stop his noise and let him get conf
Dental with the folks who had paid their
last cent for tickets to this performance.
Then. to the writhing horror of the
stage director. he leaned over the lights
and told the exact truth.
He told where his partner had bought
his jas-and the audience giggled. He told
them just what the chorus men had done
to try to revive him, and the crowd titi-
tered. Fe repeated part of what the d.
rector had said when there was that
awful wait-and folks began to ask each
other who is he" And then as he
signaled for q music cue and announced
that he was going through with hts job
anyway. he sang his tender, romantic,
wooing song-laboring. meanwhile. to
complete the drunk's toilette. Every time
he struggled with a collar button the au-
dience shouted. When he finally sue
ceeded in hiding the stockings with the
pumps. and fastening UP a dribbling gar
ter with an imaginary hairpin. they ap-
plauded violently and roared with glee
Meantime, the man with the valuable
legs was struggling painfully back from
the bliss of unconsciousness. The crowd
thought that was the funniest thing. The
tenor sang a second song and let him
struggle-breaking from the sweetest
tones of sticky spotlight sentiment to
feel his partners pulse. or to smooth his
hair, or Jerk him erect. schooled to that
brand of humor the populace rose to an
orgy Of appreciation. Their applause
brought the drunken one out of his happy
daze.
"Whe'm l." he demanded Grossly.
The tenor reassured him. Then. as he
staggered to his uncertain feet, the or
chestra leader heard the singer whisper
trantically:
"Quick-the dance stuff"
They saw him lead into the first few
steps of the dance with which they closed
their act
For a moment the leg man teetered,
staggered. caught himself and teetered
again. His sodden. blank face lifted
toward the house and the galleries, that
flooded him with applause And then
the music. the beat of his friends shoes
on the stage boards, the familiar face of
the orchestra leader, began to have an
effect The years and years of dancing
this dance had trained him into an autom-
NJ ohan nIe
certain movements to certain bars Half
consciously he took the first few steps,
then swung hazily into the familiar
routine of entertaining. His partner,
linking elbows with him, swept him
along.
The stage director says that he thought
the audience had gone into mysteries.
Every time the disheveled one lurched,
his partner swung erect. Every time he
stumbled, the partner, with a fake
stumble. brought him upright again.
The electrician, in r, laughed until tears
ran into his moustache, and even the di-
rector began to look more human-some-
thing like a seasick person who is
beginning TO suspect that, after all, he
may soon begin to take an interest In
food
When 1t was all explained to the dancer
next morning 1t took a raise of salary to
convince him that such a thing had
really happened. But by rehearsing him
all next day the singer and the stage
director got him to repeat the per-
formance next night. Their one-man-
drunk dance is a feature at the-oh, you
hsrTe ali seen it-or at least one OF the
ffty-seven copies of It
The dancer has come out for prohibi-
ton. He says that one lucky jag is abou.
all a man can expect in a life time.
Besides" he confessed wearily last
night, being drunk ceases to be blissful
when it isn't inspirational. l lost all in
terest in being fool Just as soon as
was paid to act the part every night.
Copyright, Isl7)