The Washington times., 1917-04-27
Don Marquis
Column
Map of a CoIyumist,s Average Day.

Map of a CoIyumist's Average Day.
Freddy Blank dropped in this
morning and stayed an hour and be-
fore he left wondered how we could
get out a column eve5y, day with so
many people dropping in to interrupt
us.
Freddy is a-person OF the keenest
perceptions.
Unknown person called up on the
telephone to recite a limerick he had
composed the night before while en-
gagged in being the life OF what must
have been an exceptionally witty
party. Said he knew himself the last
line was bad, as far as the meter was
concerned, and maybe the rhyme was
little off-but we could fix that up
all right. When would the limerick
appear? Please. he said, get 1t in
today's paper, IL possible. He had
] told several friends he was going to
phone il in and IL would be printed to-
day. eThey would buy the paper and
look for IL. Couldn't we GEE II into
one of the late editions. We promised
to stop the presses and make the
paper over and put 1t into the next
edition.
AS a reward for us, he said. he'd
come in and call on us some day and
bring some friends.
Sail from a gentleman who wanted
a lively little skit, not more than hair
a column long, advertising a bazaar
for the benefit of something or other
We could make It. interesting, he
thought Would we come to the
bazaar and make a humorous talk
II would give US quite a. lot OF ad-
vertisement IL we went and talked at
the bazaar. We might write a special
poem for 1t and come and recite the
poem. Upon 1t being tactfully pointed
out to the gentleman that II wouIo
take a day OF our time to-write the
poem and kill part Of another day 10
go and read II, he assured US that
that would not matter at all-the
bazaar was nearly two weeks off ana
we had plenty Of time. Hoped. upon
leaving, that he had not interrupted
US.
Call from boy connected with com
posing room wondering, IL we are
going to have any copy for the print
er today.
Call from old friend, who has just
connected with the - - Adver-
tising Company. Contribution In his
pocket mentioning the = Com
pany. A clever little thing. The sort
Of thing we ought to be glad TO get.
Hoped he wasn't interrupting. But Il
would do US good to be interrupted.
One trouble with us was we STUCK
too close to the office. Didn't mix
enoush. Would do US good to forget
the job oftener. Wed get more ioeas
IL we ran about more. We seemed
dull today-more so even than or
dinariIy-in fact. grouchy. Wanted
to know IL we had many callers who
broke into our day.
Call from gentleman with verse
Hbre poem. Read it TO US. Said We
could not have 1t unless we promised
not to change a line of 1t. Said he
wasn't in the habit of reading his
poems to people. but we were a kim
dred spirit We were so human
some how, he felt he could do II with
readily understand that II every one
read poems to us we would get but
little time for our own work, Did
many people call? Hoped he had not
interrupted us.
Enter office boy. Mumbled name Of
gentleman who wanted to see us. in un-
intelligible manner. Told office boy to
step to Hades and take waiting gentle
man with him. Office boy back in nf-
teen minutes with note. This person
was an old friend. fellow we really
wanted to see. It turned out, and now
he's gone OF with his feelings hurt
Long letter from elderly lady who
knew our fathers great-aunt in Ohio in
1857 inclosing poem in twelve cantos by
girl of seventeen Will we please go
over poem thoroughly and correct 1t
and send it back? And please do it
soon, as It is to be read at high school
commencement in June? Knows we
are busy, no doubt. but for this little
favor she will be so grateful. and could
we come out to Ohio for the commence
ment exercises in June?
Call from gentleman who says he
really hesitated to call for fear he
might interrupt us. and IL we will
look him up a book to read will sit
by the window and amuse himself
while we work. No, he doesn't want
any cheap fiction to read. or ana
poetry, either. Notes that we seem
to be preoccupied. Hopes we weren't
writing verses when he came in. 1t
must be frightful to be interrupted
in the midst of a poem. Do We write
as good verse one time as another,
or do we have times when we can
do better? Does just having. people
in the room annoy us, even IL they
don't say a word, when we are work
ing? Not at all? Glad to- hear that,
as we seemed to be looking a bit an
noyed. Why not chuck work awhile,
~ we felt Hurried. and come out and
have just one drink? No? Well, we
were wise not TO in the middle OF
the day, no doubt. What was our
theory. about the inspirational value
OF alcoholic stimuIants? Did we be-
lieve. for instance, that Poe could
actually compose verse when he had