The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-06-28

THE BACHELORS |
CLUB
There Was a Penalty For
Marriage .
By RICHARD MARKLEY .
By RICHARD MARKLEY

80,
The Bachelors club was an associa-
tion Of men who regarded themselves
as being especially happy in not hav
ing wife. child or home and who look.
ed upon women as designing persons
who made it their business to enslav"
men, usually by some underhandel
means altogether reprehensible.
The Bachelors club came to order.
the president in the chair
"Fellow bachelors" he said. "onc 0:
our number has committed matrimony
Edward Hammerton has taken to him
self wife. l will read article of
our constitution, applying to his case:
when any member shall become en-.
gagged or has been married he shall pas
q fine and his membership in the c!lh
shall cease. He shall state the arts by
which he was shared. IL there are ra.!.-
ating circumstances in his case nc 81
not pay the whole fine, but such portio'
of 1t as the club may consider Il Jus.
amount in his case.
"Mr. Hammerton will now make his
statement"
II assure you. gentlemen" said the
retiring member, that no intention
whatever to desert you ever entered
my head until a diabOlical combination
of young women in the town where
live forced matrimony upon me. These
custom prevailing in foreign land.
Between the mountains Of India and
Persia, l have since understood, Is
powerful tribe, among whom the ladies
can choose their own husbands. All
single woman has to do when she
wishes to change her state is to send
servant to pin a handkerchief to the
hat of the man on whom her fancy
lights, and he is obliged to marry her
unless he can show that he is too poor
to purchase her at the price her father
requires.
Inspired by this suggestion from a
land where secret venomous methods
underlie all social conditions. every un-
married woman in the town where 7
live formed club-rather, entered upon
conspiracy-to force the bachelors
into matrimony. One morning, being
about to leave my home, on taking my
,, hat from the hall closet Something soft
and scented fiuttered against my hand
l shuddered. | had touched the Indian
poison flower and was reminded Of It's
waxen petals and its seductive odor
Taking the hat to the light. saw
| pinned to 1t blue silk handkerchief
! in one corner OF which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe. gentlemen, the IN
sinuating method of this designing
| creature. She not only knew how dear
to every man is his alma mater, but
she was aware that blue Is the color
of my college.
Mind you, gentlemen, did not at
the time know Of this society or Of
its malevolent purpose, for the mem
bers kept both secret SO long as possi-
bic. asked my butler how the hand
kerchief came to be pinned to my hat.
He said that the servant Of Miss Euge-
MIA Tomlinson, living at the other end
of the street. had called before was
out Of bed, asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief Why he had
, done so he did not state.
Going to my club after had break.
tasted, l sat down to cigar and q
paper. In the paper l read full &C.
count Of the organization and prac-
tices Of this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported to our soil. also
read list of the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast to
| see the names Of two of my most init
mate friends.
Great heavens l cried, the per-
spiration starting out ON me, and I
have already received a deadly Black
| Hand notification"
"The lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery, both from her
| beauty and general attractiveness, was
| all powerful Any man on whom she
| pinned the skull and crossbones must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him Nevertheless. though seeing
the signal to heaye to, | made up my
mind to pay no attention to 1t. l sim
| ply sailed on. minding my own busi-
ness"
why didn't you take to an aero
plane?" member interrupted.
Rats" "Buncombew Brave boyv"
and the like greeted the speaker.
Zone week after the receipt of the
signal" he continued. "the period given
blacklisted bachelors by this club, l
met one Of my most respected women
friends on the street. She cut me dead.
The same day met several others and
received the cut direct from all Here
was, indeed. boycott. You must re-
member, gentlemen, that. although we
do not wish to surrender our independ-
ence to these creatures, to be ostra-
cized by them is serious matter. In
time l was cut by every unmarried
woman in town. Besides, the most at.
tractive married women were honorary
members OF the club and Joined the
boycott
And then, gentlemen, appeared the
most alluring feature Of this malignant
| cahana Of oil mr.