The Washington times., 1917-04-18
Don Marquis
Column
Preface to a Book OF Arithmetic.

| IL is completed IL will be different
from any other treatise on arithmetic
in the world 1t will have no very
large numbers in it, for very large
numbers are not only vulgarly os-
| tentatious in themselves land there
fore offensive to persons of taste)
but they are immoral as well.
|
There will be a good many IS in 1t
and a good many 3s. Sevens and is
are attractive numbers. But there
will be few SIS and no more 6s than
are absolutely necessary. The figure
6 does not please the eye when writ
| ten, nor does the word six please the
ear when spoken. Five is an excel
lent number and 5 is a quaint and not
repellent figure; does very well; 1
/ Is often impressive; Is always in
significant; o, which is the gateway
to the fourth dimension. deserves a
separate treatise for that reason. And
there is a kind OF elegance about 0.
/ But IL is too much removed from life;
there is no passion about ii. some
how. We can admire o; we can won
der at II; we could never love Il. nor
sin for its sake; neither would II re-
generate us; it is lacking in heat and
humanity.
4
But satisfies us, POLITICALLY and as
man. 1t has been well called the
Perfect Number; all times, all climes,
all peoples, all literatures. have at
tempted to utter the mystic and un-
utterable virtues of Z. There are
Seven Pleads and Seven Sutherland
Sisters,\ Seven Hells and Seven Can
dies: from the Old Testament to Dun
sany's Gods Of the Mountain" 1t has
been invoked to impress us,<for 1t Is
strangely and inherently impressive.
The heavens declare its glory and the
J external and material world falls
naturally into heptagonal patterns
T.. =. naturally, or magically!' For
IL is a magic number Verse written
on a rhythmic scheme which regards
the occult properties OF seven is bet
ter than any other verse; and queer
things happen IN a seven-handed
poker game that we have never seen
happen anywhere else.
| Personally, we never had anything
| but good luck in our life, and we feel
that we always will be lucky, and that
Is because there are seven letters in
our last name; and when we die, at
the age of 105. we shall go and dwell
| for a while on the planet Saturn,
which is ringed with seven rings,
each ring being of a gorgeous color;
we shall wear a wonderful coat OF
| the seven primary colors and twang
a en-stringed harp, and to the
measured twanging of that harp all
| the people we didn't like will be COM
pelled to jump through and over
those rings. This Is no random
prophecy, we should state; IL was
I IA 70
membrance does not fail, to learn our
destiny, and the black -browed lady to
whom we paid the money-her name
was Isis, she said, and she was once
an Egyptian princess-also added
] that we would travel a great deal
and 1t might be we'll for us to be-
ware of a dark gentleman. We in
tend to take Isis up more In detail
when we write our preface to a
Dream Book"
But this Though it thrills us) is
too personal, perhaps, to be widely
interesting. Our own private super
| stitions, and mere questions or
taste, and speculations concerning
magic, would not of themselves have
been sufficient to induce us to write
our new arithmetic.
There are, as we have hinted, Moral
| reasons for the Work. II Is an
| Arithmetic With a Purpose. 1t Ii an
Arithmetic from which 'large num-
bers will be excluded: 1t is an Arith-
metic which is intended to be the
beginning of a propaganda against
large numbers.
For large numbers have an odd ef-
feet upon the mind of man. Briefly
4 lam rnaLa him wick ed
They seduce his spirit into all manner
OF vaInglory and irreverence and
megalomanfa. A statesman sees that
his country has a population OF 16.-
304129 persons, and he pores over the
| figures until they. induct him by an
evil magnetism into dreams OF armies
| and conquest and empire. A bank
clerk reads that Croesus was worth
SS6.924 .O6629 and he wrecks his life
and perhaps his country trying to get
/ twice as much; sheepherder dis
| covers that Norval fed S6S,46O sheep
upon the Grampian Hills and is no
longer a simple shepherd, but fe-
yered lunatic burning with the notion
/ that he must become the Napoleon OF
the Mutton Chop;-a scientist finds that
a brother scientist has counted 1885,
74S,666 germs clinging to the
| .0530T109Sth part of a square inch OF
bronchitis, and he sets out to discover
or invent a disease that will assay a
billion bacilIi to the square ipch. using
up hundreds of guinea pigs In the pro
cess. Large numbers exert a malign
influence upon the Imagination; some
thing unsocial and sinister and de-
tached from reality and demoniac
steals out of them like a vapor to cor
rode and corrupt the pink and inno-
cent convolutions OF the brain. At one
period the theologians very nearly let
| the world go to the devil because they
| got so busy disputing how many
angels could stand on the pointSof
needle. and they were perfectly we'll
meaning theologians at that.
But It is useless to multiply exam
pies. A casual glance through the
history OF the world is enough to con-
vince any open-minded person that
large numbers looked at too long
have been primarily responsible for
the ruin of all the individuals and
commonwealths that have ever been
ruined. So long as people stick to
dozens and scores they do very well,
teach them to think in millions" as
the saying is, and disaster follows. In
our new Arithmetic more stress VIII
be laid upon the Esthetic and Moral
Value OF suc7 numbers as the student
is encouraged to commune with, In
their natural condition, than upon