Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1917-06-13
MEN, WOMEN AND THINGS.
Nv Erank A Eddv


Now is the time that the flower of
young American manhood is springing
to arms and the flower of American
young womanhood is springing into
arms.
Every once in while a man is met
up with one who is good friend with
everybody except himself.
Some men take wives to get rid of
going to war and some men go to war
to get rid of their wives.
A man should always tell the truth
when he speaks, but it is not always
necessary to speak.
It is more r1anful to use your money
to buy a gun and shoot, than to use
it to purchase immunity from free
hooters.
If President Wilson had only waited
till after the summer commandments
had been held he would have learned
just how to have settled all our inter-
national problems without going to
to war.
Many mother has spanked her
young son until he howled like Com
manche Indian for fighting with her
neighbours boy and then went into the
next room and Rugged herself in de-
lirum of ecstacy because he knocked
the stuffing out Of his opponent.
The greatest problem that confronts
a woman is how to disclose her new
silk petticoat and show off her new
silk stockings at the same time.
Power is of no value unless it is
utilized. The muscular power wasted
by dogs in wagging their tails would
run thousand factories if it could be
concentrated and utilized.
The question now confronting the
citizens of the United States is wheth-
er they will"loan money for defense
and get it back or pay it out for idem-
nifty and never have it returned.
A colored man down south was ar
rested for stealing chickens and when
asked how he came out at the trial,
replied: 1.-THE jury done ent demo-
cratic and convicted me-"
If you are too old or too young to
fight the Germans, fight quack grass.
A woman never gets so old that she
does not look young when she is rock
ing baby to sleep.
When men fill up with booze they
want to fight, but when they want to
fight they keep away from booze.
One of the things that can't be ex-
planned is why it is so much harder
work for man to dig for a garden
than it is to dig for fish bait.
If Roosevelt is such a incompetent
man, why not send him over to France
and demonstrate his Incompetence?
Tho w NJ Gin o1x
lected.
protested woman hater to his knees
than five men who admire the sex.
Every married woman can speak
two languages widely different; baby
language and husband language.
Very frequently the only difference
between the millionaire and the man
that is broke is a million dollars.
The girls in an Eastern college say
the best way to judge mans char
acter is by his kisses. What we want
to know is if there is an opening in
that college for man to come and
demonstrate his character.
A man who will hide behind a wo-
map's skirts to avoid serving his coun-
try is only half man and a woman
VINO Will permit q man 10 cOnCeal Qlm-
self behind her petticoats for such a
purpose is only quarter of woman.
That mans a coward, traitorous dolt,
Curse him,
Who'd not get shot If Red Cross girl
would
Nurse him.
One of the funniest things in this
world is to see a gronchy old sinner
who never petted his own children, ex-
cept with shingle, bossed around by
his little. grandson. = "s ~
There is nothing that a small boy
enjoys quite 30 much as to listen to
his little chum yell when he is getting
q licking.
Every time girl sees man In un-