The Washington herald., 1917-07-04
Driver Sees DOUBLE
and Lands in court
Rum-Inspired. He Fancies He Is in
Two Cars.

lWO SdIS.
Charles Henson, acting on Monday
as the skipper of a sca-going motor
car of ancient vintage, came abrupt
ly to the conclusion that he was oper-
ating two cars. The evil thought, 1t
Is believed, was whispered into his
ear by ]. Barleycorn, optical mex
pert.
A perctly harmless car of the
same notorious make, approaching
from the opposite direction, speedily
resolved itself into two, onrushing
Juggernauts. Charles tried to drive
his two vehicles between them, with
disastrous results.
Charles removed both his hats,
placed one on each steering wheel of
his opponents car, and emitted dou-
ble-barreled profanity for some mo-
ments. All his illusions were dispelled
yesterday, however, when he was fined
$50 in the Police Court.
.sing Me to sl-e-ep-
There are some people who do not
appreciate high class singing, as
Charlotte Davis found out to her so=-
row. Every night Charlotte sat on her
back porch, and then Tetrazzinni went
into oblivion. Often the dog next
door howled. but Charlotte kept or.
Neighbors began to lose flesh and sleep
and the freshman had nothing to COL
lect the next day. Charlotte became
peeved at some remarks about her
singing and let a water pitcher fly at
John Hume, an innocent bystandeT.
John appealed to the court for protec-
tion and Charlotte was fined $40. This
is the first time she ever sang herself
to Occoquan.
Jim Jams Germans.
A policeman strolling up Wisconsin
avenue on Monday afternoon saw Jim
Hillman sitting in the street near the
curb. He arrested Jim who objected
to being pulled out of the trench,
as he called 1t, until he had thrown
few bombs at the Huns across the
way. His bombs were two empty
whisky bottles and the offending
Huns were several trees on the other
side of the street. I'm a sholjer,"
said Jim. Cant you shee I'm killin'
Germansh." The policeman grabbed
him and Jim begged to be put where
the Kaiser's men couldn't get at him.
ho SONAl Sclll ulIll " OCGOlNdllB
where he is to get in a real trench
and dig clay for the brlckyard.
Loves Labor Lost.
Tobey Shreve worked two whole
years in a powder mill to get enough
money to buy a ring and some nick
nacks for his lady love. He brought
them to her in Southwest Washing
ton Monday evening, and expected to
go back home a prospective bride
groom. Heretofore the path of love
had been as smooth as a sealskin coat.
On entering the house Tobey found
Jessie. the pride of his heart, enter
tanning a rival. Tobey wanted to see
what kind of critter it was that had
wormed his way into his sweetheart's
affections, and upon close eXamina-
ton found that the "critter' was
wearing all the jewelry he had en-
trusted to Jessie and was smoking
his cigarettes and wearing his clothes. |
Tobey saw red for a few minutes and
then thrashed him. He was fined $40. !
sam soaks Cop.
A visit to the Annapolis Junction
training camp for the new army |
worked havoc with the imagination |
of Sam Hollidge. Sam was in Police |
Court yesterday morning with the ap-
pearance of a man who had just come |
from a Verdun trench. Brim full of !
the fighting spirit on his return Sam |
had to get the fight out of his sys-
TEN, and after 1t failed to wash out |
with a few drinks. he set upon Police
man DoOlin at Fifteenth and H streets |
northeast.
Doolin was no German, and natur-
ally he fought back until Sam looked |
as though he had stepped into a /
bucket of blood. Instead of one /
charge, Sam had three against him, |
and the court fined him $40 altogether. |
On the plea of his wife that Sam was
needed at home to fight for his six |
children, the court placed him on
probation.
Bad John White.
Jesse James and Nick Carter books, |
combined with the boyish imagination
OF John White, are responsible for
John going to jail for ninety days.
According to the evidence, John is /
ever proud of being a "roughneck."
He ran away from the reform school
and armed himself with a razor, sharp
enough to cut hair without bending
it. He had no whiskers, and the
court saw no reason why so young
a man would want such a weapon.
Habit was as strong with John as
limburger, and he can't even eat a
meal without hurting something or
some body. Judge Pugh sent him TO
Jail and cautioned him to find some
way to get the badness out of his sys-