davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Sir Beerbohm Trees Tact.

AS most people who have the pleas
ure Of his acquaintance know perfectly
well, Sir Beerbohm Tree is a very tact
full man. He is also an exceedingly
critical judge of good cigar, and
heartily detests the smell even Of
bad one.
He was alone in a railway carriage
when a young man entered, and, sit
ting down opposite to him, pulled
away heartily at tweed" too awful
for words.
'Are you aware, SIR" inquired Sir
Beerbohm in his most impressive man.
ner, that this is not q smoking car
riage?"
With an apologize remark, the
youth flung his humble smoke out OF
the window A minute later he OBJ
served incredulously: "But-but you
are smoking yourself"
"Quite So" replied Sir Beerbohm
blandly, "but thought you might have
conscientious scruples. Er-have one
Of mine?"
The youth selected with alacrity a
prime imported Havana from the prof
fered case, lit up, and soon the pleasing
aroma from two excellent cigars per-
vaded every corner of the carriage.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
She Had the Ham.

A certain lawyer who was a candi-
date for a municipal office went out
canvassing one day and knocked at a
cottage door. The door was opened by
a woman.
"Is your husband in, Mrs. -" in
CURED the lawyer.
"No SIR" was the reply, ''but I know
what you want. My husband is sure
to vote for you because you got him on
for stealing that ham last week"
mo, no; alleged stealing of the
ham," corrected the lawyer.
ALLEGED be blowed!" was the woni-
ans reply. "We've got bit of 1t left
still. Lemme give you a sandwich cut
uf 1t, sir!'
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
From Out the Skies.

Joe Flaherty, the tallest prisoner
ever to come into the hands OF the
local authorities, was arrested by P0-
liceman Tom Edmunds, the shortest
man on the force, after Flaherty Is
alleged to have accosted a number OF
woman pedestrians with whom ne
came in contact while pursuing an al
coholic course along Park acenue.
Edmunds caught sight of the Of
fender about a block away, and gave
chase.
you're pinched," he yelled up at
his captive.
"Well, leave go of my knees and
reach up and take my hand hlc-
cuped Flaherty-Anaconda Standard.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
LIMIT ON LoNDONERs' FOOD
Under New Regulations, Proprietors
of Eating Places Must Keep Rec
ords of All Meals Served.

Under the new London food restric-
tons proprietors of eating places must
keep a record of all meals served.
They must not serve more than speci-
fed amount each week. The following
is the scale of allowances per meal, the
Toronto Globe states:
Breakfast-Meat, ounces; sugar,
81 ounces; bread, 2 ounces; flour, 1
ounce.
Luncheon-Meat, ounces; sugar,
81 ounces; bread, 2 ounces; -four,
ounce.
Dinner-Meat, 5 ounces; sugar, 81
ounces bread, 2 ounces; flour, ounce
No meat or flour is allowed in place
of tea or sugar. Tuesday is designat-
ed as meatless day in London, Wed.
nesday in the provinces.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
4,4S7 bushels worth
Net profit after
paying for farm
and all cost. 80.
s2,472.67

S. Joseph and Sons Of Des Moines,
Ia, are looked upon as being shrewd,
careful business men. Having some
spare money on hand, and looking for
suitable investment, they decided to
purchase Canadian lands, and farm
them.
With the assistance of the Canadian
Government Agent, at Des Moines, Ia,
they made selection near Champion,
Alberta. They put 240 acres Of land
in wheat, and in writing to Mr.. Hew-
lit, The Canadian Government Agent
at Des Meines, one of the members OF
the firm says: II have much pleasure
in advising you that on our farm five
miles east of Champion, in the Prov
ince Of Alberta, Canada. this year
Q916) we harvested and threshed TO-
600 bushels of wheat from 240 acres,
this being an average of A bushels
and 10 pounds to the acre. A con-
siderable portion of the wheat was
No. 1 Northern, worth at Champion,
approximately $1.s5 per bushel, max
ing total return of $19,610, or an av-
erage of $S1.70 per acre gross yields.
And by aid Of thorough system were
able to keep the cost Of growing wheat
at about % cents a bushel."
Messrs. Smith & Sons of Vulcan,
Alberta, are growers of wheat on
large scale and have demonstrated
that there is greater profit in Western
Canada embarrassing than probably in
any other business anywhere. Speak
ing of their experience Mr.. Smith
says:
Il have three sections of land at the
present time and am farming yearly
1000 to 1,400 acres of land. My re-
turns from the farm for the past two
years have been around 2O09o, that is
for every dollar 1 have spent 1 have
received three, now l do not know
where you can do that well.
'This is surely the country for the
man with the small capital as the land
is still reasonable in price, payments
in long term and work of all kinds for
every man to do. l feel that if l was
turned out here without dollar that
in less than ten years l could own
section of land and have it we'll
equipped"
Western Canada's soil and climate
is suitable to granting large and prof
liable yields of wheat. many so large
that those not acquainted with the
facts hesitate to believe the reports
sent out by the farmers in that coun-
try. AS an evidence of their sincerity
in reporting correct yields atfidavits
Of a couple of grain growers are repro
duced.
81 Newell J. Noble, of the town of
Nobleford, Province of Alberta, do
solemnly declare that from 1000 acres
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
FARMING NOW
A BUSINESS
The Modern Day Farmer Applies
Business Methods and Seeks
More Than a Living on
the Farm.

A nationwide cry is being made for
more economy and greater production,
and probably never was the need of
foodstuffs equal to that Of the present.
Grain prices are the highest in the ma
tons history and today the agricul-
tural fields of America offer induce
ments that are unequaled in any other
line of commerce or business. The
ideal life is that close to nature, en-
Toying the freedom of Gods great out
doors and fulfilling a duty to human
ity by producing from a fertile soil
that which is essential to the very ex-
istence Of less fortunate people who
are actually starving to death for food
stuffs that can be produced so eco
nomically in the United States and
Canada.
High prices for all grains, undoubt-
eddy, will be maintained for number
Of years, and it appears a certainty
that the agriculturist will reap
bounteous return for his labor and at
the same time carry out the demands
of patriotic citizenship. A wrong con-
ception has been generally noticed as
to life on the Farm" 1t has been,
to q large extent, considered as only
a place to live peacefully and afford a
living for those who are satisfied with
merely a comfortable existence. Such
a wrong impression has been created,
in q measure, by the lack of systema-
tic business principles to farming in
general. But today farming and agr1-
culture have been given supremacy
in the business world and require the
same advanced methods as any other
line of commerce. In no other bust
ness does a system adoption pay bet
ter than on the farm, and it is certain
that there is no other line Of work,
that, generally speaking, needs it as
much. The old idea of getting living
off the farm and not knowing how it
was made and following up the details
of each branch of farming to get the
maximum of profit, at the least ex-
pense, is fast being done away with.
Farming is now being considered as
q business and living is not sufficient
for the modern agriculturist; small
per cent on the investment Is not
enough, the present-day farmer must
have a percentage return equal to that
of other lines of business. The prices
for produce are high enough, but the
cost of producing has been the factor,
in many places, that has reduced the
profit. 1t is the application of a sys-
tenn to the cost of various work on the
farm that it is possible to give figures
on profits made in graingrowing in
Western Canada.
Mr.. G. a. Wright of Milo, Iowa,
bought a hundred and sixty acres of
land in Western Canada for $500 in
December. 1915, and took his first crop
from 1t in 1915. After paying for the
land in full and the cost Of cultivating
it and marketing the grain, he sold his
grain at $1.55 a bushel Ga low price
compared with the present market),
had surplus Of s2,472.67. His figures
are as follows:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
No Rest for Him.

'Mrs. Calder says she is thinking Of
going to a private sanitarium to rest
her poor, tired nerves."
Doesn't she ever suspect that Mr..
Calder has poor, tired nerves?"
ooh, no. According to her point of
view, Mr.. Calder, little round-shoul-
dered person, who weighs about hun
dred and eighteen pounds. is a cave
man who doesn't know what it is to
suffer-"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

to me at times. Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills re-
stored me to health and want to thank
you for the good they have done me. !
have had quite a bit of trouble and
worry but it does not affect my youth
full looks. My friends say why do you
look SO young and well?' l owe it all
to the Lydia E. Pinkham remedies. y,
Mrs. RoBT SToPIEL, Sage Avenue,
Washington Park, Illinois.
Ifyou have any symptom about which
you would like to know write to the
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn,
Mass, for helpful advice given free Of
charge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
The People OF India.

The population of India is far more
diverse than is generally thought. They
talk about $50 different languages, and
are divided up into 43 distinct nation
alities. There are 1887 main castles.
besides a large number of subcastes.
There are 2OO,OOO,OOO Hindus, from
which Great Britain can draw fighting
men; 100000 Mohammedans, while
among the Hindus there are 100000
of degraded people of no caste, whose
touch, or even shadow, Is supposed to
cause pollution.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Too Bad.

postal rates between the United
States and the Danish West Indies
have now been reduced from 5 cents
to cents"
II always like to take advantage of
q bargain" said Mrs. Flubdub, "but
unfortunately l don't know soul in
the Danish West Indies to whom
could write"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
FIERY RED PIMPLES
That Itch and Burn Are Usually
Eezematous-cuticu Quickly Heals.

1t needs but single hot bath with
Cuticura Soap followed by a gentle
application of Cuticura Ointment to
the most distressing, disfguring
eczemas, itchings and burnings to
prove their wonderful properties. They
are also ideal for everyday toilet use.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Goino to Helm.

$50 your husband Is anxious to do
something for his country"
''He certainly is"
"Will he join the army or navy?"
"No; he's too old for that"
He'll raise vegetables in the garden,
I suppose, then?"
"No; he's too old for that, too"
what can he do, then?"
ooh, he'll Join the home guard and
swat flies all summer"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
True Friendship.

The silence. the reserves. Of a true
friendship are more eloquent than its
speech. The language of the heart in
the hour of its necessity fills up the
caps of the broken speech, and what
the lips cannot articulate, love inter
nrets and love fulfillS.-DOnald Sage
Mackay.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
What is Castoria

substitute for Castor Oil. egorlc,
and Soothing syrups. 1t is pleasant 1t con- neither
Opium Its its
thirty constant for the relief
Constipation Fauen Wind Collie and Diarrha aayng Fevers
arising regulating the Stomach and Bowels
assimilation Of Food; giving healthy and natural Sleep
Chldrens Panacea-The Mother Friend
Bought and which has
under
All limitations and but Experiments that
ande ndanger the health OF Infants and ~
Chidren-Experience against Experiment ~ <AZyNzN.
%ZL<<~
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Still There,

Every time put anything down in
this house somebody comes along and
moves it," stormed Mr.. Twobbls.
Not always, my DEAR" answered
Mrs. Twobble, sweetly.
"Prove it! Prove it,"
"How about the carpet in our guest
room?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Sure EnnIIdh.

81 see the surface of roads is planed,
scarifed, rolled and made ready for
use in a single trip over them of
machine that a Pennsylvania has in
vented"
That's all right, but what I'd like
to know is. how the hens know the
roads are ready for use first?'
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

which one has
called, "the mold
or experience of a
SHINING saint who
comes back to COG
in full communion
and service"
David, 1t must
be remembered,
was a man at one
time In full com.
munion with God,
even though he
so greatly sinned,
as this Psalm in.
dicates. Through
a S d d en- and
strong temptation
he committed the
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Too Much for Iommie,

Mother wants you to come right
over and see Tommie," said the little
girl.
what seems to be the matter with
him?' asked the doctor.
HE can't swallow. His teacher gave
him some big words to spell today, and
we think some of 'em got stuck in his
throat
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
The Eirs: Eraser.

India rubber was used for the first
time rs an eraser in ITO. when very
small piece was sold for three marks.
# was. however, many years later be
fore it was put into general use. Prior
to this the crumb of bread was used
for eraSng purposes.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Adamantine,

She (sweetly)-Five men have pro
posed to me and I've refused them all
because none of them measured up to
my ideal.
Long pause.
He-I know what you're thinking.
She-What?
He-That I'll be the sixth, but you're
wrong, kid, you're wrong.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Attorneys. Bankers, Insurance Agencies

Make your service complete, place
your court and fidelity bonds and
burglary insurance in the WORLDS
LARGEST SURETY COMPANY" from
your own Office.
We solicit inquiries for agencies
from those desiring our IMMEDIATE
DELIVERY SERVICE,
AGENCY DEPARTMENT,
NATIONAL SURETY COMPANY,
lis Broadway, New York. N. Y.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

fered with female
trouble, backache,
nervous spells and
the blues. My chill
dren's loud talking
and romping would
make me 80 nervous
I could just tear
everything to pieces
and I would ache all
over and feel so sick
that I would not
want: anyone to talk
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
FARMERS ARE WORKING HARDER

And using their feet more than ever before
For all these workers the frequent use Of
Aliens Foot-Ease, the antiseptic powder to
be shaken into the shoes and sprinkled in the
foot-bath, increases their efficiency and in
sures needed physical comfort. 1t takes the
Friction from the Shoe, freshens the feet,
and prevents tired, aching and blistered feet.
Women everywhere are constant users Of
Aliens Foot=Ease. Don't get foot sore, get
Aliens Foot-Ease. Sold by dealers every
where, 25c.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Chance for the Better.

"Now, this is where the plot begins
to thicken," remarked the budding dra-
matist as he started to read his sec.
ond act.
Il sincerely hope So" said the man.
ager. ut couldn't very well be any
thinner than it has been so far"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Had Enouuh.

shall 1 put another record on the
monograph"
1--WE have heard about fifteen, have
we not?"
"Yes'
Pm willing to take your word for all
the others being equally as good"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

Medicine is occasionally necessary TO
helm the system. recover its normal func-
lions That is especially true in Spring.
Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills are an
ideal medicine. They combine tonic anu
laxative properties. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

If you want to get the worth or the
bargain in life cultivate gladness.
The one who mopes does not enjoy
himself, and surely no one enjoys him.
Exchange
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Thrift.

Roly-Does your wife believe in do
nestle economy?
Poly-YeS; she saves all the scraps"
TO be served for breakfast.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
OH Mercy!

"What do you do with your wrist
watch when you go to bed?"
"Put is under the mattress"
"And doesn't it interfere with the
ticking at ALP"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Minhf RA Either.

Rural Editor (reminiscently)-1 re-
member when my first subscription
came init brought tears to my eyes
Friend-Tears of emotion, or was
the first subscription paid in onions1
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
To Drive Out Malaria
And Build Tn The system

Take the Old Standard GROVES
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking. as the formula is
printed on every label, showing it is
Quinine and Iron in tasteless form. The
Quinine drives out malaria, the Iron
builds up the system. 50 cents.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
For Home Consumption.

Backyard farms should be conducted
solely for the purpose of supplying
vegetables for home consumption.
There should be no thought given to
selling to your neighbors; plan the
entire farm" for your personal use.
Your neighbor has an equal opportu-
nifty to produce vegetables. and If he
has not availed himself of his oppor-
tunity, the loss Is his.-A. T. Hastings
in Golfers Weekly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

Two extensive deposits of high
grade white marble have been dis
covered i'll Guatemala and will be de-
veloped by capital from the United
States-Buffalo Times.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Time to Go Slow.

Ime to Go SLOW.
''The officer said you were exceeding
the speed limit in your car"
That's silly, your honor"
"Why is it silly?"
81 guess you'd think it silly if you
knew where I was going"
"Where were you going?"
ITO my dentists
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Ionu and Short of It,

81 wonder why it takes pay day so
long to come around?"
ct only seems long when you're
short, and the shorter you are the
longer 1t seems"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Returning a Kiss.

"What's that mark on your lipsT
ooh, kissed a girl on the hand"
"Oh, I see. And she returned it."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Well Known to Editors.

Well Known to Editors.
"They say he's a well-knoWn au-
thor"
"How so?'
"He's had at least a hundred stories
declined"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

When the average man has saved
dollar he celebrates the event by
sQuandering 81.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
The Returning
Saint
By REV. JAMES M. GRAY, d.
Dean Of Moody Bible Institute.
Chicago

TEXT-Restore unto me the joy Of thy
salvation; and uphold me with thy free
spirit.-Psalm SLIP.
This is one Of the best-known and
most highly praised Psalms of David.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

The occa sional use Of Roman Eye Balsam
at night upon retiring will prevent and re-
lieve tired eyes. watery eyes, and eye strain.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
NERVOUSNESS J
AND BLUES
SYMPTOMS of More Serious
Sickness.

Washington Park, Ill.-"I am the
mother of four children and have sui.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Common AffIiction.

Common AffIction.
"Dubson talks a great DEAL but he
doesn't say anything"
There are many people in this
world like DobSOn.'
"Yes?'
"They suffer from a paucity of ideas
and a plethora of words"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Scanty Buying.

"Economizing at your house"
Rather By the time the cook has
held out enough for her own needs
there isn't enough dinner for US, and
we have to go downtown and eat at
restaurant"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

Why buy many bottles Of other vermi-
fuges, when one single bottle Of DR.. Peery's
vermifuge Dead Shot, will act surely and
promptly? Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08
Father of the MAJ

Father Of the Man.
Hatch-Is he very much henpecked?
Batch-He even has to mind the
baby.-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1917-06-08

81, 4s2.18-S4, 492.1S
The circle banner. [volume] (Circle, Mont.) 1914-1939, 1917-10-12

hat so smartly worn, the half-insolent
smile, the little gesture with which she
raised her understanding about her
unlocked the floodgates.
Market Ketton had seemed well
enough a few minutes ago. John had
felt healthy appetite for his midday
meal, and certain interest concerning
deal in barley upon which he was
about to engage. And now another
world had him in its grip. He flicked
the mare with his whip, turned away
from the inn, and galloped up to the
station, keeping pace with the train
whose whistle he had heard. Standing
outside was local horse dealer of his
acquaintance.
''Take the mare back for me to Peak
Hall, will you, Jenkins, or send one of
your lads?" he begged. Il want to
catch this train"
The man assented with pleasure-it
paid to do a kindness for Strange
wey. John passed through the ticket
Office to the platform, where the train
was waiting, threw open the door of
a carriage, and flung himself into a
corner seat. The whistle sounded. The
adventure of his life had begun at last.