davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08
On the
Spur. Of the
Moment
My Morris Miller
The pcor Mt.

(My Morris Miller
The Poor Nrt.
| met man who groaned a groan
As he went on his way:
Said !. "Now tell me why you moan
And why yonr hair is gray?
Have We lost loved ones in the wars,
Or is your wife a shrew?
Have We large bills at all the stores?
Are these what worry your"
ZIG
Said he, I've lost none in the wars,
My wife is not a shrew,
Nor have I bills at all the stores.
Except, of course, few"
Then tell me why you wag your head
And moan Mt such rate.
Come tell me now" In rage l said,
Its growing rather late!"
And then I seized him by the ears
And shook him to and fro,
Come. now. why AL these means and
tears?
Tho readers want to know"
He turned to me a doleful eye,
His mouth did ope and shut;
Said he, II moan and this is why:
Alas, I'm off my nut!
This morning when l came to don
My clothes. I tried--it hurt
To put fifteen collar on
A number sixteen shirt"
Todays Sheer.
Many n car carries an eight-cylndcr
engine and one-cylinder driver
Yes Indeed.
never stole bayonet,
never hope to steal one.
But can tell .pu this, you bet
I'd rather steal than feel one
A. MAN NAMED SNIFF DIED IN
NEW YORK RECENTLY AT THE
AGE OF NINETY EIGHT THE
JOKES ABOUT HIS NAME WERE
FINALLY TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08
DANCING.

Classes for adults and Children PIT
vate lessons. can Miss kearney.' BAG
black.-Adv.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08
None!

Thou mans estate brings many woes
And many sorrows: griefs and fears,
Yet none of them compare with those
That every youthful urchin knows.
When Mother scrubs his neck and
ears!
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08
PLEDoEs:

Delta Rho fraternity announces the
p1edSihk 6t r. cfftng Or Philipsbure.
ffefpert Harry .swede''
Dahlberg Of Butte.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08
To Be Sure

To Be Sure.
Optimist: This is a nice place to
live"
Pessimist: ITS unhealthful!" -
Optimist: "A lot of people manage
to live here
pessimists "Yes, and a lot die
here!"
The Hen.
Be kind and tender to the Hen,
She's natures favorite child.
She's white or brown and then. again,
At times she's meek and mild.
She gives us eggs most every week,
That is her little chore,
And yet she's often mild and meek,
AS we have said before.
Be kind to natures fayorite child,
She has a lot to do.
Remember that at times she's mild,
Sometimes her eggs are, too!
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08

A. MAN NAMED SNIFF DIED IN
NEW YORK RECENTLY AT THE
AGE OF NINETY-EIGHT. THE
JOKES ABOUT HIS NAME WERE
FINALLY TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08

Yes Indeed.
/ never stole a bayonet,
I never hope to steal one.
But l can tell spu this, you bet
I'd rather steal than feel one.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-03-08

Today's Sheer.
Many n car carries an cight-cylindcr
engine and n one.- cylinder driver.
The sun., 1917-05-14
NATION ORDERS
5 STEEL SHIPS
L. s. Shipping Board Signs
First Contracts for Part Of
100000 Tonnage.

WAsHINGroN. May 1s-Contrac,s for
eight steel ships aggregating 7o,4oo tons
have been signed as the first definite
step In the Governments shipbuilding
programme. the shipping Board an
nounced to-day.
The ships are contracted for to be de-
livered as follows: Two in May. two in
June, two In September and two in Octo-
ber Of next year.
In addition. William Denman. chair
man Of the board. and Major-Gen.
George w. Goethals. who will have SUI
pervislon OF the construction work. have
completed a deal for 10000 tons more
of shipping. contracts for which will be
passed and signed.
Two-thlrds of the tonnage bargained
for will he in wooden ships and will
form the first instalment of the 5000
900 tons which it is purposed TO build in
the next eighteen months. The work
will be rushed with all possible speed.
The eight steel ships will be of more than
s 900 tons each and will be built by the
Los Angeles Sh!pbuld!ng and Dry Dock
Company. They viii be Of one OF the
types adopted as standard. which has
been developed by the Los Angeles con-
Germ and has proved unusually satisfac-
tory on the Pacific coast
Chairman Denman will appear to-
morrow before the Finance Committee OF
the Senate to explain the need for a
large appropriation.
The Shipping Board plans 70 have built
within the next eighteen months AT least
900 ships. steel and wood. Of more thar
5000 900 aggregate tonnage. Bills 10 be
introduced in Congress this week call FOL
an initia! appropriation Of s4oo.0o0.oO0
Later an additional S350.0o0,000 will bs
asked. and II this Is no. enough Still
more will be sought.
Under the bills TO be introduced th'
Government: will he empowered 70 requi'
sition shpyards II necessary TO haster
construction. and in an emergency could
take over the countrys steel mills out
put and put it into shipbuilding. ohi'
! clals. however. believe The power Wi! no.
have 70 be invoked
The sun., 1917-05-14
RECLAIMED FRANCE
TO Be REBUILT NOW
w. II. Cole, Engineer, Arrives
to Float Bonds for Re-
construction.

Plans for the reconstruction OF the
devastated territory In France and Bel
gium were announced yesterday BY Will
lam Howard Cole. an American engineer
who Ia the technical director of the So
ciete Generate Industrlale an organlza-
ton composed Of French capitalists and
engineers to cary out what Is probably
the greatest constructive undertaking In
the history OF the world.
Mr.. Cole. who arrived here Saturday.
is provided with practically unlimited
powers TO make contracts, buy materials
and machinery and charter ships He
will float an initial bond Issue of s9,
000,0 900 guaranteed by the French Gov
ernment. and before his return TO France
he expects to arrsnge for the expendi-
ture of three times that sum.
The fact that France will not walt for
the end OF the war TO begin the enor-
nous task OF reclaiming the territory
destroyed by the Germans indicates COM
ple:c confidence that all reconauered
provinces are safe from future German
, occupation. The work of rebuilding
homes and factories will be started al
most within carshot of the enemy guns.
The first consideration, Mr. Cole said.
Is 10 get the people to return to their
former homes They are now scattered
over all parts of France: as soon as
temporary shelters can be constructed
the people will be brought back to begin
| from the bottom and reconstruct the
ruined towns and villages as nearly as
possible along the lines existing before
! the war.
| America is looked upon as tho banker
who must finance the suffering coun-
! tries OF Europe in the reconstruction
period after peace is won.
! Coal shortage is one OF the graves'
| problems facing the French industries
/ Mr.. Cole has submitted plans to the
/ Government for Harvesting the water
! power of the Alps and concessions have
been granted to manufacturers OF Lyons
and other cities where this power Il
| available. II is expected that within
SIX months 10000 horsepower can be
/ developed from the waters OK the Rhont
! al an expense OF 100000.
| The directors of the Societe Generate
( Industra.e include some OF the greatest
/ Industrial heads of France. such as Gen
! MarChand. ex-senator Raimon. Leonce
! Blanchet. f, de Marchena. u. pelore and
| Nevdier Dayioud, Mr.. Cole will go t
! Washington Wednesday TO confer witt!
| officials Of our Government
The sun., 1917-05-14
HARDEN SAYS CHINA
TOOK RIGHT STAND
German Editor Asserts War IL
Conflict of SUord and Spirit.

AMSTERDAM, via London, May Ia
The current number of Die znkunU.
Maximillan Hardens Berlin newspaper.
is entirely devoted TO Germanys twelfth
cneny--China Herr Harden asks how
such a peace loving and anti-war Power
came TO declare war" on Germany, and
replies by citing at great length from
his own works letters purporting TO
have been written by the late Ii Hung
Chang relating to experiences OF the
famous Chinese statesman in Europe
describing Germany a. nothing but a
war camp and telling Of tho all mighty
Emperor and of Germary's commerce
which he describes az the great idol
dominating every thing.
The corruptlble considers every one
corrupt nle," is Herr Hdrden's retort 10
those Germans who aliege that CHINA
was bought body and soul with dollars
lie r!diCulcs as stupid the notion that
China is arm,ng against Japan
Herr Harden thinks there Is nothing
surprising in thiua's choice when she
secs a revival of the ancient struggle
OF the sword against the spirit.
The sun., 1917-05-14
HOLLWEG SEEKS
AUSTRIAN HELP
Chancellor Hurries to Vienna
After Conference at Front
With the Kaiser.

BERLIN, via London. May l3--While
the batting of the Imperial Chancellor
is going on. the events OF the past forty
eight hours would seem to indicate that
DR.. Won Bethmann-Hollwegs position
continues to be absolutely secure. The
Chancellor returned from a hurried visit
to Great Headquarters Saturday morn
ing and left the same night for Vienna
after having spent the day in comforting
with the Re!chstag party leaders with
many's war aims.
Both his visit to Great Headquarters
and his trip to the Austrian capital were
made in connection with the thancel-
lor's declaration covering the war aims,
which he will submit to the Reichstas
Tuesday. Both the Government and the
Middle Road parties are deslrous OF
avoiding an extensive or acrimonious
debate. and Representatives Of the latter
will unite IN a Joint statement or pre-
sent independent coiTc.ding declarations
/; Is contended that the Chancellor
holds enough strong cards in the pres
ent military situation. the success of the
t'-bpdl - tllt ltNOlu SlNti " al wan q iit
the Improvement IN the food situation &c
beat on his opponents, who have beer
a, his heels for months past.
Adolph von BatoCki, president Of the
Food Regulation Board in Germany
has asked permission TO resign. accord
ing to Berlin telegram, owing TO severe
criticism by members OF the Reichstat
OF his administration OF the food supply
While permission 10 retire has been tenn
porarily withheld, II is expected hi:
resignation will be shortly announced
constituting a severe setback for th'
Conservative party leaders.
According to n Brussels despatch re
ceived by way Of Berlin the Governor
General In Belgium BY an ordinance hs'
divided the ministries o: Agriculture
Science and Art and Industry and Labor
into Flemish and Wa.loon ministries
! The order will go into effect June Is.
The sun., 1917-05-14
PARLEY OVER WHEAT
CRISIS ON IN CHICAGO
Trading in July and Septem-
Der Futures May Be Stopped.

CHICAGO, May l3-Thirteen members
OF the board of directors OF the Chicago
Board of Trade, Joseph p. Griffin, its
president two prominent non-member
grain men and the boards attorney.
after a long conference to-day on the
wheat crisis. announced tonight AT Q
o'clock that 1.-The verdict" would not be
ready until some time tomorrow. II Is
understood that they are considering
these two courses.
To discontinue trading in July futures
and possibly September also.
To close the exchange entirely.
Mr.. Griffin said after the conference
There's plenty Of grain In the country
to carry through. II 1t wasn't for this
hysteria, this wild frenzy that has seized
America and the allied and the neutral
Governments as well---the whole world
thered be no such prices paid for
wheat"
Have you heard any report that the
German Government had put up money
to buy grain to boost the price to injure
tho Allies and make them pay higher
for wheat" he was asked.
Yes. Two heard that rumor, I've
heard It often, But doubt that there's
a word of truth In it
The sun., 1917-05-14

The argument OF the House anti-liquor
mon is that in the hope Of speedy
agreement on the provisions Of the con-
scr!ption measure they have not insisted
heretofore on the Incorporation of liquor
legislation. but now tina; the discussion
had been thrown open again and there
appears little chance that the army bill
will be finally agreed upon for some days
they feel free to force their fight
1t is probable that the Howard amend
iirut VI. :Ccc: w!.h cors'do-a hla orro-
siton because il does no; make the ex-
emptions that are made by the Cummins
amendment The Cummns amendment
prohibits only the use OF cereals grains.
sugars or syrups in the inanufa cture Of
intoxicating liquors The Howard amend
ment prohibits the use Of any foodstuff
whatever. prohibition which probably
would be construed TO include grapes
and all other fruits and which would
prevent the manufacture Of wines and
: brardies as well as beers and whiskeys
The Howard amendment also as II
stands makes no exceptions as TO liquors
used for mechanical, Industrial. sacra
| men,a! or scientific purposes.
The sun., 1917-05-14
ZEEBRUGGE U-BOAT
NESTS BOMBARDED
English Warships and Air
planes Wreck Submarine
Sheds-63 Killed.

ROTTERDAM. May 13.-Acoording to re-
ports received here the naval attack yes
terday on the German submarine base at
Zeebrugge. on the Belgian coast. was the
most destructive yet made by British
warships. Two submarine sheds were
blown up. Sixty-three persons were
killed and upward of a hundred others
were taken to hospital.
LONDON, May l3-An offlcia! state
ment issued this evening by the British
Admiralty relative to the naval and
aerial bombardment of Zeebrugge SAT-
urday morning says:
"A very heavy bombardment OF the
important area at Zeebrugge was sue
cessfully carried out Saturday morning
by a portion Of our forces under orders
OF the Dover Nice-Admiral The Royal
Naval Air Service rendered valuable CO.
operation and over fifteen aerial COM
bats occurred. in which four enemy ma
chimes were destroyed and five others
were driven down out OF control. Two
OF our machines failed to return. One
Of these descended In Dutch territory
and was interned.
BERLIN. May l3-'Enemy monitors.
during fogey weather early Saturday
morning, shelled Zeebrugge from a great
distance" says an official statement is
sued to-day by the German Admiralty.
''Our batteries replied. There was no
loss OF life. Slight material damage WAS
done. Two enemy airplanes were shot
down."
There has been considerable talk in
London that the British Admiralty was
preparing to attack the submarine peril
by attempts to destroy the bases from
which the C-boats operate, The attack
on Zeebruggs may be the result OF such
a policy.
The sun., 1917-05-14
SAYS VESSELS SUNK
WILL BE RECOVERED
Hamburg Paper Announces
Nsw German Salvin9 Device.

AMSTERDAM, via London, May IA
The problem Of salving ships sunk by
submarines Is solved. according to the
hamburger Fremdenblau, which says
that German naval engineers have per-
fected process of raising ships from
the bottom of the sea. Details are with
held, except that specially equipped sal
wage vessels will be employed and that
they Will be able to operate even In
stormy weather.
The Fremdenbldtt. which, as an ex-
ample. puts the value Of the ships sunk
IN Feoruary alone at what It calls the
moderate figure of s1SO,00O, 900, saws
that the number OF ships sunk and their
favorable position in most cases for
raising guarantee for many years after
the war plenty of work and a rich
proft.
The sun., 1917-05-14
Provision for Appeal.

Mr. Howard's amendment makes the
customary provision that IL the distiller
or brewer 50 disposseseed OF the food
materials used in the manufacture OF
his products Is dissatisfied with the
award he may sue to recover the diff
ference between the award and what
he regards a 5 a fair price. The suit ma y
be brought in any court Of competent
jurisdiction.
Taking the Senate action as basis
cf judgment, members Of Congress said
to-day that there appeared every llkeli-
hood that the liquor industry would be
brought to dead standsti!l during the
period OF the war. There had been a
disposition in the House to sidetracil
liquor legislation FOR the time being in
favor Of the measures which were re-
garded as more strictly war legislation
but this intention has been abandoned
and tire Senate has taken the lead in
getting through Il dry amendment.
Not only will "A hgh; be made 10 adon.
the drastic Howard amendment to the
Lever bill but an effort Will lie renewed
10 shut OF the sale or gift of all liquor
TO soldiers and sailors. a proposal which
was made originally by the House hut
which was discarded when it reached the
Senate in the army bill. The Senate
coutented itself with leaving the matter
IN the hands OF the President,
The sun., 1917-05-14
YOUNG oUAKERs WILL FIGHT.
Friends to Make No Effort to Es-
cape Conscription.

Although the conscription bill as it
was reported out of conference in Wash
ington exempts Quakers. leaders Of that
faith said yesterday that many Of the
younger Friends, while they will not en-
list voluntarily, will make no effort to
escape service. Elizabeth Il. w. Hoag.
one of tho ministers Of the Hicksite
Meeting, in Rutherford place. said yes
terday that 1t Is probable that only a
few Friends will stand by the old Qua
ker peace conviction.
Leaders among New York Quakers are
planning ambulance and relief work, and
this problem will be brought to the atten-
ton of tho yearly meetings, which will
be held within a fortnight. The Friends
of tho Orthodox and Hicksite meetings
will not take action that will commit
them to war. but neither group will CEN
sure Friends who ''do their bit" as In
divlduals
The sun., 1917-05-14
FIRST U.BOAT CHASER READY.
New York Navy Yard Finishes Nes-
vel Laid Down April I.

WAsufSGToS. May 13--The New
York Navy Yard has launched the first
o. the new submarine chasers. accord
ing TO announcement by the Navy De-
partment to-day. The keel was laid on
April and in Ave weeks the 10 foot
vessel was in the water.
The New Orleans Navy Yard. which
also began construction OF one OF these
craft on April !. has the ship about
ready for launching. The whole navy is
watching the race in the building or
cwbmarirs chasers and there Is lively
competition not only between the navy
yards and the private builders but be-
tween the Government yards themselves.
The sun., 1917-05-14
Kaiser Sends for American Dentist.

COPENHAGEN London, May 3Emperor William recognizes
personal
by the fact that he has summoned
his Newton Davis of Pgua Ohio to visit
the imperial teeth
Of between Germany and
the United and royal family and the highest Off
cas the continued to paonize their respective me
dentists Each crisis was marked by almost ludcous
attended
possible departure of the American dental experts =. -,
the official Interpretation OF his
Government regarding the continuance of
of but of the
of neutrality" by the United States.
The sun., 1917-05-14
SPAIN PROTESTS TO GERMANY.
Notes sinking of steamer Carmen,
VIII Establish Patrol.

MApRIp. via Paris, May 13,--Ths
Spanish Government has sent note of
protest "a the German Government con-
cerning the torpedning Of the steamship
Carmen. which was sunk within Spanish
territorial waters
The Spanish Government, 1t is an
nounced. will also establish a patrol by
dest+oyers between the Cantabrian coast
and France.
The sun., 1917-05-14
LONDON BUS DRIVERS STRIKE
Traf'c Is Virtually NJ StandatiIl
In Capital.

IoNpoN. MAY l3---Omri Illus traffic
throuehou London was virtually at a
standstlll to-day owing 10 sudden
strike Of the drivers. their grievance
being the non-rccogn,tion OF their UNION
by tho operating companies
The strike seems to have been almost
spontaneous. many of the strikers them
selves being unaware that strike had
been ordered. Employees on several
affiliated street car lines Joined the
strike later IN the day.
The sun., 1917-05-14
HOLLWEG ON WAY HOME.
Confers With Emperor Charles and
His Foreign Minister.

ViENNA. via Amsterdam 10 London.
May l4--Dr, Won Bethmann-H Hoiiweg
hal luncheon Sunday with Emperor
Charles and Empress Ita Later he
dlncd with Count Czern!n, the Foreign
Minister. and started on his return for
Berlin in the evening,
The discussion which tho Chancellor
started with Count Cxernin will - con-
tinued In Berlin shortly.
The sun., 1917-05-14
WOULD TURN BAT INTO SWORD.
Dixie Governor Says Hall Players
should he In Trenches.

RALEIGH, n. c., May l3.--"Ths man
who can play professional baseball
ought to be either In a trench or In a
furrow,' said Gov. f3Ickett in an ad-
dress issued to-day to tho people OF
North Carolina. urging that baseball
leagues be disbanded and that the peo-
pIe of towns and cities use idle hours
and idle men In making food for them
selves
Tho Governor advised the cities and
towns TO have vacant lots ploughed and
turned over free OF rent and with for
tiii.sr 70 people who win cultivate thsm.
The sun., 1917-05-14

The Chancellor's attitude apparently is
dictated by consideration OF the CON
dtlons in Russia and by the feeling that
1t Ia best to avoid any statement Of
terms a. the present which would either
pin down the Government 10 accept less
than is possibly obtainable II tho Rus
sian dislnteEration continues or which
nigh. cause Russian sentiment to realize
that tho future Of the nation is endan-
gcrcd by a continuance OF internal party
strife.
Apparently under no condition will
Germany undertake any military opera
tions on the eastern frontier which might
revive the national spirit in Russia. Eer-
lin is full OF stories brought back by Of
ficers and soldiers OF the peaceful con-
ditions on the Russian front whore no
military operations are being UNDER
taken.
The sun., 1917-05-14
CALLS FOR LATIN AMERICA AID
John Barrett Urges Action to Get
Food From south.

wAsHINGroN. May 13.-South and
Central America can decisively help II
not completely solve the future food
problem OF the United States and the
European Allies, says John Barrett. di-
rector of the Pan-American Union. In
a statement issued tonight he advises
that our southern neighbors be supplied
with capital, agricultural experts and
engineers to increase their food produc-
tion by development OF their vast un-
used fertile acres. He also suggests the
appointment OF a commission Of experts
on Latin American questions to CO.
operate with the defence council.
Latin American exports include wheat,
cattle and virtually everything else
grown In the United States, besides the
fruits and sugar Of the tropics.
The sun., 1917-05-14
GERMANS TO CURTAIL TRAVEL.
Trains Needed for Armies Between
May 10 and 30.

AMSTERDAM. via London. May IL
Sale Of railroad tickets at Berlin will
he restricted FROM May 16 to May 20.
according to a despatch from that city.
The German people are requested to
refrain from using the railroads for
pleasure trips, an, It is explained. trains
and engines Will be needed for the
armies, the maintenance OF the popula-
tion and for war services generally.
The sun., 1917-05-14
BRAZIL WILL SEND
WAR EMBASSY TOU. S.
Advocate of Hostilifies With
Germany Appointed ENJOY.

RIO DE JANEiRo, May 13.-It is re-
ported by tho newspapers here that
President Braz has appointed DR. Ruy
Barbosa, Ambassador to Argentina and
an advocate OF war between Brazil and
Germany, to head special embassy to
visit the United States.
1t is understood that information Is
being sought by the Brazilian Minister
of War regarding the possibility of
eventually obtaining arms and ammuni-
tion from great industrial Power.
From the character Of the quest Ions
formulated Brazilians are led to believe
that the electives of the Brazilian army
are about to be increased in number.