Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1917-10-18
Little Problems
6eMarried Life
BY
WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN
DANGER OF GROWING APART
MENTALLY.

long walk together they seem instinc-
lively To adjus. their steps so that
they walk side by side, within touch.
Ing distance OF each other. II one
gradually quickens his pace until he Is
yards ahead of the other and. In his
self-absorptiOn, increasingly widens
the distance between them, they cease
to be two walking together and be-
come two walking alone. Marriage Is
a lifelong walk together of two who
have selected each other from all the
world. 1t Is community Of thought,
Ideals. aims, needs and sentiments that
tends to keep them In step. 1t does
not mean n sacrifice of Individuality,
nor does 1t demand unanim!ty of opin.
ion, but there should eve be progress
sive harmony on essentials and pro-
gressive sympathy on nonessentials.
Some men feel q pleasant glow Of
satisfaction in fulfilled duty when they
divide generously with their wives
their material prosperity. II money
were the only thing in life. or even
the greatest thing, their view would
be correct. but the really greatest
things in the world are those that
money cannot buy. When n nan finds
himself growing broader mentally and
does not share his new self with his
wife, he is taking an intellectual ele.
vator and letting her trudge alone up
the stairway as best she can. When
he grows into Il larger and finer social
world and does not make her u part
of it he is travelling in the parlOr-car
and keeping her in the day coach.
When the larger Interpretation Of life
and its problems strengthens his spir-
itual and ethical vision. while his wife
continues In the narrow horizon of un.
illuminated household cares, he is
monopolizing the telescope, which
brings things near and larger, leaving
her the microscope which only in
creases the Importance of her trltles.
Growing apart mentally must, under
these conditions, become inevitable. 1t
may be that he alone Is to blame; 1t
may be her fault, or it may be the blind
thoughtlessness Of both. His repeated
attempts to talk over with her his
ideals, his dreams of ambition, his
plans, purposes and progress, to stimu-
late her interest, to share with her his
intellectual uplift may be met with no
real comprehension, no sympathy, no
inspiring response. When comradeship
in marriage dies, 1t really makes very
little difference what the postmortem
verdict as TO the decease may be.
When the husband Is out in the
world of business which tends to blend
with the social world. he may broaden
mentally as he prospers materially.
He travels over the country, and in a
wider acquaintance with men and con.
ditions has many Of the rough edges
OF provincialism worn smooth. lie
meets men Of attainment and action,
men Of power and prestige, and under
a more stimulating environment devel'
ops latent strength Of his own. He
brushes up against keen minds that
put Il new edge on his thinking; he is
in closer touch with current thought
and opinion; he has acquired u polish
The keynote Of his living, so fur US
society Is concerned, is higher. His
tastes become more discriminating
his demands more exacting. If he has
not been sharing these things with the
wife of his youth, he finds she has
been standing still while he has beer
progressing.
She who faithfully struggled Will
him and for him, helped him to &c
the foothold Of his present success
and became absorbed In working, plan
ming and saving, may now be Il mere
drudge. He has II new standard O.
life now, and she falls sadly short o
it. He measures things more super
ficially, and though her heart may b
unchanged, her head Is not up to date
He may be ashamed to Introduce he
into. the new society Of which he ha
become n part; she" Is plain. unattrac
tive, Overretiring or overlOquacious
She is aggressive in her dress and dis
play she is not familiar with the rule
of the social game-with the "tech
nique' of his new set.
The old equality between them I'm
been destroyed--killed through NJ
elect. 1t is not the work Of a momen'
but the slow, widening process Of year
Of growing apart. But the realizatio
Of It all may colne in u moment. Their
may be suddenly an Illuminating flas
Of consciousness, when he lnvolur
tarily faces 1t, in comparing her wit
other women.
Some little mannerism Of hers thu
once was sweet, just because 1t wa
hers, Jars on his sensibilities an
strikes a discordant note. Once b
did not care whether she thought
WINS Homer or Carlyle who wrot
"Silas Mariner" or whether she ha
heard of either author or book. Pc
haps ut that time he did not know tt
book himself. The red tape Of g
clety's cards, passwords and methot
may have become second nature
him, and he Is unjust In his condemn
ton Of an ignorance which would n
have existed had he been sharing vii
her Ills expanding life. He may n
tice with a grating sense Of dismt
that she does not put the soft ped
on her laughter to conform to Il
proper ripping notes Of mirth pr
scribcd by the social code. She. to
may have her s%addening moments
realization and refuse to enter
world where she feels her inferiorlt
or not realizing. may. to his chngri