The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1917-05-10

issued by the an
cient order OF SUI ~
preme prevaricators duly signed By
the secretary Of state OF his internal
majesty U. K. 4. Nother-so you see
it'S regular and you may look tor
things to happen. Heretofore ! have
coafined myself to the truth as you
Know, but in future there will be NO
restrictions and can tell lie If /
want to. But to one who has ad-
hefed to the straight and narrow way
as long as have it will be some job
to deviate and only on occasions
where a lie will be real benevo-
fence will tell one Hoping that
this explanation may. III measure
prepare you for any little prevar'ca-
tons which may appear in. future |
wai proceed to make smiles on
your phiz where only was yester-
day. Thank you.
The Old Missouri or the New,
which, Well let's see. In the Old
Missouri we had IL I-2c corn. 2 I-zc
hogs, Cos wheat, farmers owned their
homes: we had more money because
all had something to sell (at a low
price), plenty to eat and more to
wear than the average citizen puts On
today Especially the women). In
the New Missouri what-hogs sIs85;
wheat $3.r5; corn (uhere you can
find it, sr7s; nothing to sell at a
high price; money in the banks
(owned by the bankers). Which DO
you prefer the Old Missouri or the
New?
hate 70 see folks indulge in TOOL
ish prejudice. I can understand how
honest folks are sometimes misunder-
stood and when a gossiper attacks
my friends fbehind their backs) | al
ways make my protest plain. The
gossiper is always ready to interpret
the motives Of others by their own
narrow conceptions and when meet
one of this species I always feel like
striking them where their brains
ought to be or kickin' EN- where they
are. Quite so.
A fellow came into my place
'tother' day and asked: Are you the
agent" Not yet" says I. "but
soon. At present am the bureau OF
information, also walking encyclo-
pcdia boss doctor and other things
too plenty to mention usually kept
in a cross roads store). what is il
you want to know" He asked,
when will the next train go west
and ! says. says l, Just as soon as II
leaves here" He then asked how
far it was to the next station and
told him it was s inches over S IL
miles and the length Of pick handle
He then borrowed 'chaw which
told him he could keep. and said he
guessed he'd walk on. also promised
To remember NE in his devotional ex-
ercises at 7:3o p, m.
Go on in the path OF duty. climbing
the ladder OF fame, and il you get
there before | do remember ] am
coming too.
know a man in this here town
who wants to go to war. He likes
the smell Of powder and he loves the
cannon's roar. But when conscrip-
ton comes around this warlike mar
to seek. III bet 2-bi,s (if he is found
he's over age, 3 weeks. 7Anyont
want the money!
II Roosevelt wants to go SC
blamed bad why not furnish him
ticket Zone way. He is about thu
only person in the U. S. (who dom
amount to anything) that we car
spare just at present He might b.
of considerable use to- the allies. be
cause II German soldier ever 60
a good, square look at him, he 9TH.
soldier) would either surrender o.
drop dead.
Winter is lingering so long in TIL
lap of spring here in Peaceful Vallel
that some folks think il scandalou
and are saying things. Awful hart
to please all the people, amt it.
Many of Us old fellers, think Of it.
will be eliminated by the draft. SOM
of Us will be glad Of it. But the spir
it of rs still lives in the 'gizzards o
q few of US and we would ratf1e
shoot than hoe corn. But we will d
our part in some capacity. We sho
will and ! just want to say in clos
ing: