The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1917-01-10
THE FACULTY MEETING.

The Faculty of the Greenville
Street Setback College met Satur-
day night to hear the inaugural ad-
dress Of the President and to pass on
papers of students. When the Presi-
wearing the gown, opened the door
to the main auditorium, he found
that the former President, Fur1li-
ture Kerr, had gotten in at window
and was already in the Presidents
chair, wearing an old bathrobe. He
insisted on calling the meeting to
order, saying that the new Presi-
dent should be escorted up to the
Presidents rostrum by at least Two
professors, introduced to him, and
that he should then introduce the
new President to the other members
of the faculty assembled. He stated
that he had written to the President
of the Georgia State Senate and
Ghat is the way things are managed
on all state occasions and he in
sisted that all the formulae Of such
occasions be gone through with. He
also stated that he had gone to con-
siderable trouble to write speech
of introduction, which was now IN
his system, and he intended to get
it out before he gave up the chair
or he would contest matters IN the
courts. having already employed his
On motion Of Prof. Mcmillan it
was decided, after some debate,
that former President Kerr carry
out the program on condition that
no member was required to stay In
the meeting and hear him speak.
After having cleared up his throat
several times, wiped his mouth with
a new silk handkerchief, the former
President advanced to the front of
the rostrum, and delivered himself
thusly: ~,
Friends, Romans, Countrymen and
Fellow Gladiators:- 1t is fitting that
as I lay aside the regalia of Presi.
dent of this institution, l SHOULD
be succeeded by my uncle, President
Stark, the most prominent member
of our family, except uncle Bill and
cousin Percy, who walks with q
stick, and lives in New Jersey. Be
ing in the furniture business and
the buggy business with uncle Jim,
I have had great opportunity to
Judge of his enticing qualities. And
INV salary not having been fixed for
the next year, and uncle Jim having
strong vote in fixing it, it gives
me pleasure to say that uncle Jim is
the best fitted man for the presi-
dency of this institution, next to
myself of course, upon whom. your
choice could have lit. .,
I hope and believe that he will
keep up the standard of this lnstltu.
ton as I have done in the past. We
have turned down great many pu-
pills who wished to enter our gates,
BECAUSE they were not prepared to
enter. hear of some now who DO
not believe in the little card lead
who want to enter the freshman
class, but they are not ready for the
primary department.
: I know that he will have some
difficulty in carrying on this college
in the way I have done, but turkey
covers a multitude of sins, and l
would advise the new President as
soon as he can get the proper in
gradients to give a large and pow
erful turkey supper. He should be
very select in extending invitations,
however, as by inviting too. many
unframed men to eat with him, he
will lower the dignity Of the office.
Of course all former officers of this
college consider themselves as being
already invited, which being the
case, will be there.
1t, therefore, is my pleasure to
vacate the seat of honor in this col
lege in favor of the new President,
who will be escorted to the stand by
Prof. Mcmillan and Prof. Bradley.
The new President having been
escorted to the speakers stand and
duly introduced, took a drink OF
water, reached in his pocket and
After feeling around for the speech
found he did not have his speech.
in all pockets, he advised the facul-
ty that he had left his notes in his
other coat pocket and that he could
not speak without them as he had
forgotten the very first word. He
asked time to 60 and get the speech,
but the members of the faculty
would not agree that the chair
should be vacant for that length of
time, with Profs Kerr in the hall.
So after some discussion it was de-
cided to give the President until the
next meeting to get his speech in
hand, Prof. Mcmillan announcing
that he would make a speech him
self at that time if the President was
not ready for action.
Tpo-z (8ted SHIN htnhrfr rfhmf hm