davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

About the nearest you came TO
knowing that ~the wiser the big
ash' ofttimes the bigger the bite. .
was a small notice in Detroit
paper 20 the effect that advertising
ras being Illegally solicited in the
name % the National Yardmas-
tiers association" for mythical
magazine. and that funds were be-
Ing collected for sick and d'sa-
bNl'y benefit association for Detroit
ysrdmasters
Dapper. good takers, we'll
trained in the arts" OF the profess
sioual solicitor. these two young
men. who always play the game
nh big men because the i1ttHs
can best AFFORD to lose. we're only
sorry that they had 20 leave town
90 soon
The picking was fine" one OF
them said 10 the man who brought
the information TO the Ad Mirror.
but our business keeps us moving
We could make a million II We
stayed
OF necessity these sort Of scala,
sAgs must jump in and Jump out
with The dough" They we're In
Detroit about two days.
Their stunt" was 10 open
mythical ornces in the Ford build
INK. then get On the telephone and
introduce themselves 10 the "nsh"
a. "yardmastsr" In Delray or
Milwaukee Junction. or somewhere
else. II the "hsh" appeared 10 be
biting" that day. they would out.
line briefly the proposition and
make an appointment
But II the Ash shifted a skepti.
ca snifae. The "yardmasters" black.
listed him. and refused TO keep
their appointment.
After the herring were an lined
up, the "ysrdmasters" disseminated
quickly. and drawing upon the gul.
llbllity % the prospect pictured 70
him the unfortunate circumstances
of the yardmasters OF Detroit. in
hning unable 10 get lie iHAHFanee
because Of their hazardous work.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
~ OR. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crans)

Billy Sunday is aiming at New York
City. He is to tackle the big. worldly
metropolis this spring. and il he can
bring the Gothamites to the mourners
bench he and those backing him win fesl
Justly proud.
l therefore take the liberty of offering
slight suggestion to the evangelical
cohorts before they proceed to give bat
tie to the hosts of darkness that domi-
nate the unregenerate island of Manhat-
IAN II will save them infinite time, sweat,
and money, if they will adopt it. and
their campaign in this place will go
Town to history in glorious victory.
1t is this. to-wit, namely:
Arrange things SO that everybody that
gets converted will become CHEERFUL.
That's all.
There are various divisions that sep
arate people into sheep and goat groups.
There are rich and poor, educated and
Ignorant, cultured and boorish, saint and
sinner, blonde and brunette, and so on.
But the greatest. horse-highest and
hog-tightest fence in the human pasture
is that which separates mankind into the
two classes. Sunny and Gloomy.
II anybody will come along with Cos
pei that is sure TO make its converts
Sunny, cheerful, bright, and happy. he
will corral Us all in short time.
The trouble, the fundamental trouble,
WITH Billy's goods is that. while the line
of talk is fine, the samples are often un-
inviting.
If the churches were all full Of cheer,
as they ought to be. and as they adver-
tise. they would be crowded with Gus
toners.
There are too many sour, gloomy. sad.
wretched, and doleful people who call
themselves Christians. Hence slow bust
ness in the meeting house.
II every good man were a glad man
the millennium would be along pretty
soon.
The great obstacle to prohibition Ii
that booze makes folks cheerful, for .
few minutes at least.
The lure of the great hell-roaring white
way is that they have Cheer there, Of q
lind
Wherefore, il the Reverend Billy win
out forth his ukase and see that 1t 10
1beyed, that every church member, pray
pr meeting attendant. and Sunday School
xoer must from now on cheer up. radi-
ate sunshine, say abaft to complaints,
fault-indings, and grumblings, and show
the world that religion makes them just
plain happy, he will be able to set down
in his diary:
New York Veni, vidi, vici.'
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
Empty Is the Cradle, Baby's
Gone"

Little Empty cradle. treasured now
with care.
Though Thy precious burden IL has
fed
How VIZ mss the locks OF curly
golden hair.
Pesplns from the tiny snow-white
bed.
when those dimplsd cheeks and ut
tie laughing eyes
From the rUmpied pillow shone.
Then ! gard with gladness. now /
look and sigh.
Ebpty IL the cradle. babys gone.
CHORUS
Baby's lsf, her cradle for the Gold
DER the siivery waters she has
flown.
Gone 20 Join the angels. peaceful
ever more.
Ebpty IL the cradle. bsbys gone.
In . grassy valley II a messy mound.
Underneath my little darling
sleeps.
Blossoms sweet. and roses. cluster
all around.
Overhead the willow. silent. wespr.
There I laid my loved one Ia the
long ago.
And my heart doth sadly moan.
Tho shes with the angels. stili
fam would weep.
Empty is the cradle. baby's gone.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

from the legs 20 the heart. stand
ing congests the veins with blood.
The veins stretch. dilate and be
come curved and We have a typical
case OF varicose veins.
Frequently the trouble starts with
an itching or an eczema of the legs.
Other times there IL pain and
swelling and sometimes a chronic
ulcer develops Hardly ever does n
vein burst with n great loss ot blood
Naturally any form OF exercise
that calls the leg muscles into use
Will help prevent Yaricose xelnA-
After they have developed they
may be relieved by rest At such
times the feet should be kept NJ
above the body level as much az
possible so that the force OF gravity
does not add 10 the stagnatlon.
Flannel bandadger will also give
relief. by supporting the veins.
These wrappings should be cut on
bias TO give elasticity and wound
around the legs from the bottom UP.
vartcose veins may usually be
cured by an operation In which the
diseased veins are dlssected.
The veins in the legs are numer.
Gus. When the diseased veins are
cut out other small veins enlarge
and take up the blood formerly car.
ried by the vessels removed by the
surgeon
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
of Course, If 1t Were
Frothy Musical Comedy

Students of the best in drama have
Just had an opportunity TO enjoy re-
vival Of Shakespeare portrayed by the
man who is generally conceded TO be
alone at the head of his class.
And Detroit's Wanted culture and
scholarship has not turned out.
High society. as we cal il, appears to
wish none Of Shakespeare. for during the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

stetson university. at De Land.
Fla. In TO hold It's annual Founders
day exercises today. with an ad.
iress By Dean shaiier Matthews. OF
he divinity school Of the Uniyer-
sity OF Chicago. az the leading fea
ture OF the program.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
No Telllna.

A rather paironizing individual
from town was observing with con.
siderable interest the operations OF
farmer with whom be had put up
Tor a while.
As he watched the old man row
the seed in his field the man from
the city called out fscetiously:
Wen done. old chap. You row;
I reap the fruits"
Whereupon the farmer gnnned
fnd replied
Maybe you viii. | am sowing
hemp. ladies Hone Journal
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
Stung!

There must be some mistake in
my examination marking. don't
think deserve an absolute zero"
complained the student
Neither do l." aged the instruct
or. but It's the lowest mark I'm
allowed TO give
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

cOse veins.
This is because
they do not walk
enough TO permit
the leg muscles 20
push the blood
thru the veins.
The blood has
an uphill climb
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

given OF that esteemed gentleman who Is now.
alas no more.
murmur OF applause went round the crowded
court
II presume" continued the learned counsel.
that you were very intimate with the testator
during his lifetimc7
The witness hesitated and biushed q crimson
red "Nn-no." he answered lamely. I'm fact.
never saw him in my life
But really. sir" cried the barristsr In sur
prise Il fail 10 how you could give such an
accurate and Gathering description OF him IL you
never saw him"
The witness gave very sickly smile.
Perhaps you-will understand better" he sai1.
when tell you that married his widow"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

clever lingo" OF
two emerge tic
yardmasters a
few days ago TO
the tune OF about
$500.
You didn Z hear
nything about H.
yer likes 20 ad
been a sucker "
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
Health Questions Answered

n. P.--What are the causes OF
stye7
Irritation OF the eye.lid by unclean
fingers. dust containing germs. or
eye strain.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
From another Point OF TeD
Bv C. 7. S

What a fine country this will be when
a lot of fellows get 70 demanding the same
respect for the flag here at home that
they demand for il abroad.
An Attitude Of Service Liberal Use a. tire
Word Please" VIII Bring Big Returns IN
Public Patience
TT uetrha II tfrr guy that Fs
Electric Railway" news
Could see how punk his crews compare
with courteous car crews OtherVhere
He'd find a little tine 70 spare
To catch the public's views
He says the whole darn surplus went
To build more street car tracks
Now this "a very ane indeed
But 30 what al your patrons need
IL TIE sowing 81 some Friendship seed"
Which your equipment 'ac1t
Col HuemVltaris.
Personally" observed our old friend
Doc. well-known and popular chiropodist,
81 maintain there are some things 90 be
said in favor Of the ~ D-stop system.
My own particular complaint is that il is
getting to be the habit Of the motormen
10 skip and forget 10 stop.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

Il came 10 dividing the spoil.
but an inspiration helped them
out.
Look ere" said one Of the
lucky men. let me ave the
mouth organ. and I'll give up
all claim TO a share In the tick
or. Then 'ow would II be II I
nlaved vou ann hing and fha
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
Laugh With Us

The learned counsel in the great VIII case
literally bsamed with Joy. Here was witness
who was everything a witness should be.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

congratulate you, sH' NC
said. Enthusiastically. Your
memory for detail does you in
finite credit. And on behalf OF
the numerous relatives OF the
testaior who are present In
court I should like TO thank
YOU for the very Gathering.
though none the less truthful.
49, go, haua tuaf
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

planning that something must
be wrong with baby. that IL
was crying the whole day. The
mother thought for a moment,
and then suddenly Frightened
up "A she said:
II remember now. Baby's
last nurse was black one.
You VIII find the Stove polish
on the nrst shelf In the kitchen. :
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

With a view to propitIating his captors. an
obese prisoner handed over his watch and q
mouth organ 10 four men Of the Bleakshire Regi.
mani DffncuItias arose uhsu
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

one as guesses wot tune IL is takes the watch -
This was agreed 10 and the musician did play
something and he played that something pretty
badly Then came the guessing.
None OF you II right" declared the instrs
mentalist is II 10 be the nearest. or shall
play something else7"
Nearest" came in chorus.
"Tobbins takes n. then" was the verdict He
was long way the highest. Beer. beer. glorious
beer wasn't arr bad guess; was playin' "A
pants the art for coolin' streams"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

A number OF Detroit shippers
and manufacturers fell for the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
The Keep Well
Column
CAD VEINS

People who are on their feet
whole LOT often suffer from yari.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

Don't you find II hard these
times TO meet expcnses7"
ifaFaf Man alive. I meet III
pcnses al every turn
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

That is to say, the Cleveland team
comes here April II Tor four games after
which the baseball season will open.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16

A young mother who had Just returned iron
india, engaged a new nurse for her baby. One
a.. H.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1917-02-16
REVERSED ENGLISH

As one who has eonducted saloon IN this city
for many years ard speaking In behalf OF al De.
trot sstoonkeepers 7 want 20 say that Police
Commissioner CoUzens 10 the best friend .se nave
ever had. In view o. the Fact thst ~e have only
little over year left In which 70 get ours he q
the very man for the place. 20 my way Of think.
ing. Mayor Marx could not have done In. a.
loonkeepers better turn. nor could he have
named man who would prove more satisfactory.
We feel deeply grateful 70 the mayor. every one
OF ia.
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19
THE NERVE BREAKING GAME

War is a nerve breaking game The
tension of the struggle affects not only the
soldier i'm the trenches, but the people at
home as well. Even the ministries fall as
the result Of the over strain.
OF the nations now at war all have
changed their ministries since the war
began. NViana was replaced by BRAND
and BRAND by Ribot, in France; Lloyd
George succeeded Asquith; liza was sup
planted in Austria Salandra in Itlay; Ven
izelous in Greece; Nicholas and his whole
regime went out bodily in Russiawhile even
IN the neutral nations ON the fringe of the
war zone cabinet changes have been the rule
and not the exception.
a logical explanation of the many
changes is that men who have the moment
Gus problems To solve. and are daily called
upon 20 make decisions that determine the
lives of thousands and on whose success the
fate of their nation rests wear down with
the strain
This has been especially true of the
older men. Perhaps they were more sus-
ccptible for the reason that the scale ON
which the war has been fought. the means
employed the utter disregard for the human.
tiles displayed by the PotSdam pirates, have
so altered their modes of thot. SO destroy
ed their sense of values and compelled the
use OF new standards. new methods of pro-
cednre So divergent from all they have been
Used to they have worn out their physical
and nental strength in the tircsome effort
60 keep abreast of the times.
kf II can. and does. thus affect the great
mel, authority il has, to degree, a similar
affect on the people and the ordinary iudg-
lncnt can not be placed on their action. Ii
iS hard 20 say AT this distance whether with
all tho SORROW they have experienced with
the alternating stimulous of joyful victory
and dread defeat, the German people have
been so duiled. or 50 sharpcncd. that a via
lent reaction viii take place against, or sub
mission be given the authorities who led
them into the war; should gigantic de
feat be visited soon upon the PrusSian arms
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19
WHY WAIT +?

The City Council last fall passed an or
dinance requiring that all residences within
the sewerage districts be connected with the
sewerage system The owners of the pro
perty know this. OF course they know that
they can be compelled 10 make such cont
nections. Then why should they wait to be
forced to take such action.
While il is the duty of the council 10
order such connections and the duty of the
mayor as chief executive of the city To see
that the proper officials enforce that order.
II is, nevertheless just as mnch the proper
~ owners duty Ia make proper comectios
without this order from the council. The
right-minded citizen will not with malice of
forethought endanger the lives of his family
or his neighbors family, by permitting con-
ditions 10 exist which will aid in bring
ing on another typhoid epidemic
Why then should those who know that
by not making the proper sewer connections
they are violating the laws of the city pro-
ceed Ia make the proper connection without
waiting for the council TO proceed with the
formal order.
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19
THE GERMAN UPHEAvEL

The American people are inclined to
take most rhodomontade view of the sit
uation since the fall of the Bethmam Holl-
veg cabinet in Germany. They see in the in
termal crisis a weakening of the German
spirit and therefore believe that Germany
cannot solve the problems at home while
fighting abroad.
While there may be reason to hope that
the mSeating of the famous, "scrap of pap
er" chancellor will improve conditions. it is
remote. Ii must still be remembered that
it has occasioned no change in the mil
itary leaders. The army advocates of ruth
less warfare, the army advocates of the
" Hamburg to the Persian Gulf, policies the
Jmkers under the leadership of the Crown
Prince, are still i'm the saddle.
Ii might even have been better for the
allied cause 10 have Bethmam-llollweg re-
main at the head of the cabinet and persue
his course until the opposition raised TO a
more determined point and finally bursting
the bonds of wartime restraints, staged a
revolution which will bring an end 10 Ho-
henZollciniSm.
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19

meet them half way, and, as man help to
make better conditions for those associated
with him in the great industrial world.
But that is not the point. The wage
situation will adjust itself if the employers
and the employees will keep their heads. The
thing that must be done now is to serve no.
tice to the itinerate agitators of the |. w. w.
that they are not wanted here. They will
give Ontario wide berth if they know that
there is a home guard here ready for action.
The city park which for the past few
weeks has been a nesting place for these NAL
contents should he cleaned out every day.
There is plenty of work for every American
these DAYS. The man who lies around the
park when food crops are awaiting hands
at the wages offered here now, should be
made to suffer. If he will not help to har-
vest crop he should not be permitted to en-
iov the benefits of other mems work. This
is no time for quibbling or half way meas
wes. The |. W. W. has reached the end of
his string. 1t is time to pull it in and let
him know that he will have to seek other
places for his activity.
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19
GET READY NOW

Ontarians should get ready Ia greet the
j. W. W. Now is the time To prepare Ia
project the crops of this region from the
traitors. An organization perfected now
may save great quantities of crops and per-
halS lives.
The anarchists who are seeking in time
If national stress To exploit their insane
tlhp,ries of government must be forced 10
reSlRe that they are lin the vast minority.
The trouble with the majority of these
anarchists is this; they think they repre-
'>fau vast numbers of their fellow men. while
M realisy they represent but few. This del
lSism arises from the fact that the average
merican is not going round Spoutng his
olitical beliefs. While he may think that
pnditions are not pedfect in this country
ie has sense enough To realize that a per-
fc'F condition will never exist in humane
Institution. The fiannel-mouthed /. W. w.
mistakes the silence of the multitude for as
SenS 10 his deStructice theories and acting
ON that supposition is emboldened To pro
ceed with his reign of terror
Whether or not the L. w W. menace is
the result of a German propaganda il is i'm
material, the effect is the same. No loyal.
lAsesrican viii fomen: .r)uble in any in
csSifx al this time and s.us endanger the
lsss ~ hci'fedS ni Aanl 'can sold; rs. That
rFtf Sa t'e, wa siy mptS snca tactics
Ihsf ,.p'ss IS sSvwlsc a traitor Who.
while lnsSine naAenSe p,ofits as the result
of abe war, anu knowing that he cost If lis-I
ng IS Increasing for his empl ees, does MOI /
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19
BUSINESS AS USUAL

One of the slogans of the day is ''Busi-
ness as Usual" That may be alright but ii
is hard To see how business can be as usual.
IL should be most unusually big these davs.
The ranchers are due To get better prices for
the crops than ever before. There are less
mortgages on property among the farmers
than ever before. Fewer farmers have been
compelled TO borrow money to harvest their
crops or pay their taxes. The banks are
filled with money as never before. An these
are conditions which in times of peace would
have made business 50 much better than
usual that the author of slogan like, ..busi-
ness as usual would have been houned out
of the country.
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19

ne war is still going on. There Is still
a need for bandages, for congresses for kit
ted work for sponges, and for everything
that the women Of the r. Cross have been
ordered u make. The Y Is not waiting
uI'on the arrival Of cool ather, and 50 the
Ontario Red Cross workers should not wait
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19

p The Pledge. pledge my allegiance to
Ny Flag and to the Republic for which
II stands; one nation, indivisible, with liber-
ty and justice for ALL
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19


y; D. Tires Auto iAseu|
Accessories
THE FORD GARAGE
=. Erbie Haynes. Manager
agents for Ford Motor Can
"a
"A
developing Prinilnf)
= Amateur Finishing Price rl,ll
. THE BURREIk STUDIO
Enlarglng coprlsl
"a
'Hey Grain se,,
sasks, Poultry supple, /
CASH GRAIN COMPANr
Forwarding
GET A sAxoNi
SAXON SALES co.
A. $. Brown, Agent.
It's An Ideal Car
: Breadlng Stock Ineudalos
/. Poultry supplies
ONTARIO PRODUCE 90.
Geo. Howe. Manager
. Wholesalers In Poultry and Ers
. Shining ParIor
+" PEOPLES PRESsAnf
. VIM. Tailor Prop
Ladies and Gents Tailoring
. Work Guaranteed
.
> steam. Hot Water. Air Heaul +
, u. \. PLUMBING a HEtTIN
COMPANY
} Plumbing and Sheet Metal wd
; Indian Motorcycles and supplf
}
All Kinds OF Second Hand Cod
%. u. FRANKiINs
Bought and Sold
Second Hand store
See Our Bargalns
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19

. A Good Bank
. In Good Country
I. FIRST NATIONAL BANK .
. Capital and surplus 100000 .
, .
: Beds stoves Furniture, Dlsher .
> New end Second Hand Goods I.
, Bought and Sold
, McDOwELL's EXCHANGE .
STORE
, Linoleums. bicycles, Sewing .
Machines. Trunks
.
.
Commercial aud Job Printing .
Tho Art Studio
THE ART STUDIO .
J. T.. kidd. Prop.
) Photograph. Portraits and Views .
Fresh and salt Meats .
; PALACE MEAT MARKET .
n. H Tunny. Prop. .
. our Service win Please You
;
. Z.
> Pamery Confectionery
PURITY BAKERY .
Makers OF
. Rream Krust Bread
.
t. .
Deliveries
ELDRIDGE DAIRY
Leon Eldrdge. Prop.
Special Deliveries for all
% occasions
; .
Wagons Hacks -- Buggies
STUnEBAKER BROs COR
PORATION or UTAH. o.
There are None Better Than
the ssudebaker
..
Expert Repairing .
". ". LErsON
Watches Clocks. .Jewlery. %
Cut Glass Gold and silver Plate
81
I'VE GIVE SERVICE THAT
SERVES"
ONTARIO NATIONAL RANK 81.
We invite Your Business on the
Baisis OF Security and Accuracy
Good cows---GOod Service
ONTARIO DAIRY
o. Bingaham. Prop.
We can Furnish Milk or Crtam
in Large Quantities
-
kodAks statioery
ONTARIO PHARMACY .
The Corner Drage Store
The Rexall Store
Fountain Service Taat Pleases
ontariO's Only Tailor 81
II. COPE -,
Have Your Suit Made Just For
- Ill
I.
Glassware. cr0cksry, Tinware .
THE VARIETY STORE .l
C. Z. commings. Prop {.
In our Lines We can Save You
Monsy
.
No Order too Large None too
WILSON BROS :. a
The GrOeers
No Long Waits No short 4
Weights .
81
"HoNE-- 48-J PHONE
rRiSTIN0--at me right price Al :
e argus oans.
rHosE-- AL -PnoNR
The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1917-07-19

PEiSTINo-at shs right price Il
ne argus Oaes.
rHoSE- se-5 ----PnoNR