The Washington herald., 1917-11-23

New York Nov. e2.-Have you
little eschewer in your home II you
have put your little eschewer in
cage and let him eschew like the
very dickens for a couple OF days. II
he is a really frst-c!ass eschewer he
can clean up and aid Mr.. Hoover.
Several New York hotels have the
following announcements on their
menus:
This hotel will give a rebate to all
guests who eschcw sugar. cream,
bread or condiments.
The correct procedure for an
eschewer bent on eschewing is some
thing like this. At dinner time the
eschewvr enters the dining-room Of a
hotel wearing the determined express
sion of a qualified eschewer. He is
net by the head waiter. who recog-
niZes him as an eschewer and escorts
HIM TO a table.
Then the head waiter beckons to a
common waiter and the common
waiter leans over and says respect
fully:
What will you eschew today. SIR"
The eschewer ponders over the bill
Of fare. We'll" he says at length,
Il guess Ill eschew a condiment,
whatever that is"
Very good. sir" says the common
waiter. in admiring tones. and then
ha yells to the kitchcnff One condi-
mcnt eschewer."
And SO the eschewer sits right there
sternly eschewing his condiment ana
SlOrifying in his esChewanCe, while
the other guests sit and stare with
envy because their education had been
so sadly neglected that they never
had learned to eschew, and the wait
ers stand around gazing in awe. And
what does the eschewer get for his
cschewing?
He gets per cent off his check;
that is, he gets ; per cent of il he
eschews either sugar, cream, bread
condiments. But if he is an accom-
plished csChewer he can eschew all
four of them at the same meal, then
he gets 20 per cent off his check.
Now is the time to eschew.
War Is a great social leveler. A
son of wealthy Fifth avenue fam
lily was about to leave for his can
tonment He was saying goodbye
to his mother when a noise in the
kitchen attracted their attention.
The mother said: Jack. that hired
girl has got some one in the kitchen
again. Go order him out.
Jack departed for the kitchen, but
soon returned and said: Sorry
mother. but 1 can't turn him out"
Cant turn him out?" said the
mother. why can't you turn him
out"
Because. dear mother. he's my SER
geant."
Two newspaper artists have been
OCCUPYING a studio in Gramercy Park
for five years. They came to New
York together and were a sort of
Damon and Pythias combination.
One went into the naval reserves
and the other tried for aviation but
failed on account Of his eyesight.
The other week the sailor boy
dropped in before breakfast. He said
he was going out for a little cruise
and the handclasp was a bit firmer
then usual as he said goodbye
A few morning ago the artist at
home received this cablegram from
France: Arrived. Safe" His friend
on the other side. And when / saw
the artist at home he turned his
head and shook some suspicious
drops from his eyes. But he was
might proud.
High up atop a skyscraper in a
bungalow built for two 10 a war
widow" She is the wife of Earl
Carroll, the Feist song star. She
Is a little French girl who speaks
very little English. Her husband
is learning to fly at camp. Their
bungalow has Just been finished. She
must occupy 1t a!on1 now until after
tie war 7 saw too the other
day and she was knitting and sfrs
pas mighty proud pf her sacrifice.