Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-08-08
cn0RDg AN5
d I s c o II ID 8
LIFE's LIrTLE CONVERSATIONS.

~ ~ ACA man
And you had promised friead wife that
This summer you were going TO take
her
Somewhere in America where there
were
No heat or mosquitoes ana
You were going TO put in a solid month
there
Doing just as you pleased,
/ Not caring for expenses,
Though Of course you had it figured
that
It would cost you a certain amount.
because
II you stretched beyond the sum you
had allowed
For you would have to call on your
banker TO loan
You a bundle OF necessary on your
note
And you didn't like to do that be
cause
The last time you had to sign a nots
to get
Some needed coin you asked q friend
20 sign with YOU
And you discovered that he wasn't
any friend
AT all He was just a speaking &C
quaintance
And in the meantime your wife had
lot
OF nice clothes made. the light kind
the kind
| That she could wear only when the
weather was
Real warm and she rad put in weeks
getting
Her wardrobe all arranged and ready
/ To be packed away in the six trunks
that she had stored away.
Two in each Of the three bedrooms
on the
Second aoor. You found one Of the
two
Planted il your room when you
stumbled over
II the other night when you turned In
without lighting your way before you
entered
The room, because somehow an cleo
trio
Light makes one feel that it is hotter
Than it really IS. You fell over one
trunk
And you knocked your eight-dolIar
glasses
or your nose and while you were
Searching about for them, not think-
ing
That a light would have helped you.
You stepped on them with your right
foot on which
You had just put q shoe that cost you
twice
AS much as the same article had a
year age,
And then you switched the electricIty
to see how badly
The glasses aeFe damaged. but they
were not
Damaged, they we're NO longer glasses
You were SO angry that you didn
know whether
Or not It would be tAs haPpisst thiue
fo- ven
To do TO scrape up the ground glass
and take
Il Al a fatal dose. thereby ending your
Misery, but you thought it ever and
instead
You went into the basement and
found pair OF
Surprise cantaIoupes that friend wife
Had bought and had planted TO spring
on you at
The breakfast table. And you ats
them That
Made more trouble but you. sly old
fox.
SmooUhed matters over at the break
fast table when your
/ Wife cried and told you about tae
melons she
Had bought for YOU and how they had
been stolen by the
Maids besu the night bsfore, and you
laughed and
Said that you never did care for that
guy. anyway.
And you promised TO give him a piece
Of your mind the
Next time you saw him, and then tia
Maid told friend wife that her beau
had not called on her
The night Of the DISAPPEARANCE Of the
melons.
But she saw YOU sitting on the back
Feranda mqnching them yourself
Well, anyway, you and friend wife gel
Time tables and YOU decide the route
you are
To take. You will Ieave al in the
morning
Change cars At Chicago, where she will
buy such little
Things as she will need and which
she cant get at
Home because she wanted 20 beat if
away before the
First Of the month, and if she tried e
swell the account
He- merchant might register q kick
and might
Embarrass her BY requesting her to
pay up before she left.
Because he would suspect by her Bur-
chases that she wasn't going
To stick around home all summer
that the tAings
She vas buying were net for use
among the
Natives Leaving Chicago late ia the
afternoon you would reach
Your destination. If you had lot Of
luck.
Early the following morning. JUST in
time 70
See nature n all its dewy splendor.
BY noon you would be settled and your
wifs's
Trunks would he unpacked ana you
would be trying
To hgure out how you wers going to
use the bath
Tub in the event YOU felt the need Of
water contact during your
Aa "a