Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1917-09-20
WISHES HIS PAPER STOPPED
(Tom McNeal in The Farmers Mail
and Breeze.)


/ 1 wish you to discontinue sending
your vile and prejudiced sheet to my
address. A few years ago thought
there was some merit in your editor
ials on agricultural and other topics,
but since the war started the tone of
your paper has become more and
more hostile and abusive to me and
the manner in which my generals are
conducting the campaigns against our
enemies. until do not propose to
stand for it any longer.
/ can now see that much of your
agricultural advice was based upon
error or at least was not adapted to
the needs of this country. For exam
pie, you advised planting the dog wood
tree in the grain fields on the appar-
emily reasonable theory that the bark
would brighten away the crows and
other birds. Acting on this advice I
had my head farmer send to America
for young dog wood trees to plant in
the royal fields. The farmer advises
me that the bark of the dog wood
tree makes no more noise than the
bark of any other tree, and that in
stead of frightening the birds away
they come and roost in the branches
On another occasion you advised
crossing the milk weed with the
strawberry on the theory that in this
way during the strawberry season it
would be easy at any time to go into
the garden and gather as many plate
fuls of Strawberries and cream as the
royal family might desire. Three of
my best gardeners went insane trying
to make this cross and the fourth one
employed, after being told what
wished him to do, swelled up like a
poisoned pup trying to repress the
language which he would have used
if he had not been royal subject who
had been taught to understand and be-
lieve that "me und Colt" are partners
in running the universe and that I
am the head of the firm. 1 afterwards
overheard the gardner tell one of the
other hired men that he feared that
the emperor must have been affected
by the heat when he got that fool
idea in his head.
1 also had my gardener try out
y
nate rows of potatoes and onions so
the onions would cause the eyes of
the potatoes to water and thus sup
ply automatic irrigation for the plants
The gardener tells me that he got no
satisfactory results from the expert
ment.
l would not, however, have stopped
the paper on account of these disap-
pointing results, but when you accuse
me of barbarism and cruelty that is
to much. Fake the case of the Bel
gians about which you have had a
good deal to say. They brought all
their troubles to themselves. If they
had quietly permitted troops to march |
through their country and get into |
France while the French were not ex-
pecting it they would not have been |
hurt; my troops would have taken |
Paris and France would have been |
whipped before it could get ready to |
fight and the whole thing would have
been over with long ago, and the |
French would be busy right now pay
ing me an indemnity. But the foolish |
Belgians insisted on defending their /
country and killed large number of |
my soldiers. They also delayed the |
progress of my army until the French |
had time to get their army together |
and you see the result. The fight is |
going on yet and more than million |
Germans have been killed, wounded |
and captured. That is all the fault of |
the Belgians. They should be thankful
that / have not exterminated all of |
them who came into my power. Then
you say that deporting the men and
women from Belgian and France and
compelling them to work as slaves in
Germany violates the rules of civilized
warfare. The fact is that these men
and women went to work in Germany
from choice. They were given the
choice of being killed instantly or go
ing away from home to work in Ger
many When the matter was put up
to them in that kindly way, nearly
all of them decided to go to Germany
and work
The trouble with you is that you
either don't understand the situation
or will not acknowledge the plain fact
which is that am the only man really
qualified to rule the world. The Ger
man people under my rulership have
become superior to all other peoDie.