davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record., 1917-09-20
A LIBERAL SPENDER.

"He's a liberal spender."
"So?"
eyes, anybody but his wife can get
money out of him.
The Lambertville record., 1917-09-20
PALLS ON HER, TOO.

Bacon-Does your wife talk to
herself?
Egbert-Oh, yes; but she gets
tired of hearing it, too.
The Lambertville record., 1917-09-20
LUCKY.

"Johnny Green's lucky kid"
"Why?"
"He's got parents that don't care
how often he goes swimmin'."
The Lambertville record., 1917-09-20

Extra special show next MONDAY, SEPTEMBER oath
The Crescent Temple Order of the Mystic Shrine
picture show to it's members week ago. They wanted
picture out of the ordinary show different from yet
1000 went into raptures of delight when they
"SKINNER'S BABY with BRYANT WASHBURN.
This amusing piece the Monday
The Lambertville record., 1917-09-20

ews; vice-president, Elmer E
Hawke; secretary, Thomas R. Hunt;
treasurer, John S. Cray.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
OVER MILLION
MEN FOR FRANCE
Committee Gives Out Informa-
ton Regarding Force for
Oversee Service
BIG ARMY KEPT AT HOME
Officials Break Long Silence AS To
Number Of Men, But Keep ST.
Ience As To Order and
Time of Moving Troops.

Washington.-The war department
is planning to send more than SOC. 900
infantrymen to France. On the basis
OF two infantrymen TO one artillery
man, the ratio preserved in the or
ganization Of the new divisions. this
will mean that at the very least our
overseas forces will number 200 900
fighting men. OF the more than $780,
600 the United States will soon have
under arms the remainder will be re-
tanned in the United States as depot
troops from which the vacancies in
the expeditionary forces will be filled.
This statement the first authoritative
indication of the number of fighters to
go abroad, was contained quite incl
dentally in a bulletin from the com
mittee on public information. Officials
have hitherto maintained strict silence
on the matter.
No further information as to the
time or order OF the moving OF troops
was permitted to be published.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
GIVES SECRET OF SUCCESS
George w. Perkins Method is to Live
Every Day as IL 1t Were to Be
the Only One.

'My own method has been to live
every day as though IL was the only
day had To live. and to crowd every
thing possible into that day. Pay no
attention to the clock or what you
are paid, but work and live for all
that is in it-just as you play foot
ball-and everything else will take
care of itself" said George w. Per
kins.
2 THE head of the table is the place
where there is most room. 1t is the
tree that grows and grows until 1t
overtops the others that gets the most
air and sunshine. The thing for the
young man to do Is to strive with all
actual ability.
Pull is not necessary. Nor should
young man bother too much about
his wages. l never asked an increase
In my life. You can command sooner
or later what you are entitled to-if
you pre-eminently deserve il.
But you have got TO be ultra-proh-
cient in some particular thing. You
must stand out and do IL better than
the fellows around you whether you
are an office boy, stenOgrapher or an
executive. You must use your head
as well as your hands. Don't be afraid
to do extra work lest IL interfere with
your theater going. / don't go to the
theater half a dozen times during the
winter, not that 1 don't like it, but
there are other things more worth do
ing. "-Leslie's Weekly.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
ALLIES CLINCH
FLANDERS GAIN
Germans Keep to Shelter After
Counter Attacks Are
Repulsed.
CANADIANS STILL PUSHING ON
Grown Prince Not Yet Satisfied That
French Positions on Aisne Front
Are lnVulnerabIe, But Receives
Check Along Front.

London.-Their counter attacks hay.
ing failed with severe losses, the Ger
mans in the Ypres area of the west
ern front. have not resumed attempts
to recapture the ground lost to the
Anglo-French troops.
On the northern wing OF the Ypres
front. the French, after repulsing
heavy German counter attacks, made
further gains near the Steenbeke'
River. Elsewhere on this front. the
latest report from Field Marshal Haig
says, there has been no change. in
addition to their bag of more than
1,SO0 prisoners. the Allied forces cap
turing "a guns from the Teutons
While admitting an Allied gain along
the User Canal and near Bixschoote,
where the French advanced, Berlin
claims officially that most of the Brit.
ish attacks were repulsed. and that
Langemarck is still in German hands.
This claim of the German General
STAFF is denied officially in London,
which says that the British hold not
only Langemarck, but also ground
beyond the village. London also off,
cially denied that the fighting front
81
clares. Field Marshal Haig reported
ported the fighting front in the Ypres
area as being nine miles in length.
The German General Staff reports the
fighting as a full victory" for tho
Teutons, although admitting some re-
verses and claiming no gains.
Between Loos and Lens the Cana
dians are plugging away toward the
capture of the last named place. They
have consolidated and made secure
their recent gains and have made
further progress west OF Lens. The
number of prisoners taken here by
the Canadians now totals 1920, in
Guiding % officers
The German Crown Prince is not
yet sure that the French positions
along the Aisne front are invulner-
able. but his latest attacks here have
failed as did all his previous ones.
One German effort was on front
Of more than a mile in the region
OF the California Plateau. 1t was
stopped by the French artillery. The
French also checked German at
tack east OF Cerny The Crown Prince
took the initiative on the right bank
OF the Mouse, but his attacks were
broken up with loss
The Austro-German offensive in
southwestern Moldavia apparently is
slowing up before the stubborn re-
sistance OF the Russians and Ruman-
| ians. The latter are still fighting
/ desperately in the area of Fokshani
and the Sereth River and Field Mar
/ CHI no
! further appreciate progress. Petro-
! grad reports the repulse Of several
/ attacks in this area.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
UNCLE JoE's TRUE VERSION
Veteran Congressman Retells Green
Corn Story Which He Declares
Is Thirty Years Old.

Uncle joe" said a new member OF
the house TO Representative Cannon OF
Illinois, 81 heard a good story about
you and green corn"
Great guns, man. that story is
thirty years Old" said Mr.. Cannon.
well, l am new congressman and
l fell for It."
IF you are going to tell ii again"
went on Mr.. Cannon, ''let me tell it
TO you right. / have seen more YER
sions OF 1t than there are silk threads
In corn tassel. It's true, all right.
1T happened at the old willard ho-
tel when II used TO be run on the
American plan, with three meals a
day. am a light eater but am pow
erfully fond of green corn. One day
L had a neighbor on from Danville.
who took dinner with me. had
three orders of green corn.
Joe says he to me, how much
board do you pay at this taveraT I
told him. He looked at the stack of
corncobs, ruminated moment, and
then remarked: Don't you think 1t
would be cheaper for you to board at
a livery stablep"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
WORLDS NEWS IN
CONDENSED FORM

ASHEVlLLE, N. C.-Former sena.
tor John w. Kern. OF Indiana and
Democratic nominee for Vice-Presi-
dent in 1908. died here. He was sixty
eight years old.
WASHINGTON. Conversational
leaders were informed by Secretary
McAdoo that it would be necessary for
them TO authorize at this and the Win
ter session OF Congress an additional
$4,000 100000 for war expenditures. in.
Guiding further loans to the Allies TO
June 30, 1915 TO total about "a 900.
600 900. 70 Is estimated
MBUS.--Oairymen In north
eastern Ohio are throwing away milk
because OF disagreement over prices
with buyers. Gov Cox has been
asked 90 suggest some means for pre-.
venting the waste. The Ohio war
Defense Council has taken up the
matter
WAsHINcTONe-Presidsnt Wilson
gave his approval to the exemption
from the draft of men with families
VALPARAISO, cHlLE.--A strike Of
nitrate workers ln Valparaiso and
other Chilean ports has tied up ship
monts of munition materials 10 Amerl-
can and allied ports.
PARASITIC American troops In
France under command Of Major
General Sibert we're reviewed by him
in the presence OF French officers. who
were impressed by the spectacle of a
show of force by their new Ally
NEW YORK,-miss Honora May
OBrlen compromised The 1925 900 YER.
dict against John y Manning for
breach of promise FOR 100000 cash.
WAsHtNGTON--opnoral crowder
called the attention OF exemption
boards Co the fact that they had them.
selves been drafted and thst resig.
nations viii not be accepted except
or good cause"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Soldiers, Outfit Costly.

Washington.-The cost OF fitting out
each infantryman for service in France
is $l56.30. Figures made public by
the War Department show that the
cost Of the infantrymans clothing is
$lO1.21, of the fighting equipment,
$47.36, and of his eating utensils.
T73. Including 100 cartridges, each
infantryman will be equipped with so
articles of clothing, 107 articles in his
fighting equipment and IL eating uten-
sils.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
a Reasonable suppositlon

The farmer alleged freight train
Of the defendant company had hit one
Of his mules
Now. Mr.. Jones'" said the attor-
ney for the corporation TO the ag'
grieved party. who occupied the Wit
ness stand, will you kindly tell the
court whether or not your mule was
on the track. the property Of the de-
PENDANT, when hit by the traiuT
well. sir" replied Mr.. Jones, =
didn't witness the occurrence, bot !
suppose things MIST have been about
MS you say This was n pretty bright
mule and reckon n that train had
took out after him in the woods when
fringe the track there where he was
killed he would have got behind .
tree. Macon Telegraph
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
w. N. u. PITTSBURGH, NO. s4-.1917.
Frenzled Finance.

II just thought of a great scheme"
grinned the plumber.
''Hand 1t 90 me and I'll eat it," re-
piled the thin carpenter.
mo, this is on the level"
"What il is all about?"
''It is TO get in touch with all the
Daymasters In the country"
Yes"
~And find out when the pay day
comes"
Yes"
Then, on the pay day plan to go to
each paymaster and see how many en-
'VelOpes have not been called for"
'Huhr'
''Jben plan 10 take all the uncalled-
Tor pay envelopes and share them fifty
nifty with the paymasters."
As he turned to go the thin carpen-
ter shook his head and remarked sor-
1 rOwfully:
"And just to think, / used to know
you when you were all right."-Ex-
change.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
a Curious Stone.

Johnny came home from school sew
erRi times within n month with various
bruises on his face and body received
tn fights with his schoolmates, and on
che last occasion his mother threatened
him with severe punishment if he ever
engaged In fight again. Only a few
days after the lad appeared with a
Diack eye, and, scared by the stern.
maternal greeting "Well. sir?" he de-
parted from his usual truthful ways
and stammered
II fell down and hit my head on
stone"
and which got the worst Of it2"
BsKed his big brother.
'1Oh, the other fellow" answered
Johnny. Hes gone home with two
alack eyes"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
No lime.

An italian, having applied for citl-
zenshlp was being examined in natu-
rallzation court.
"Who is the president of the Unit
ed States?"
"Mr. Wis"
"Who is the vice president7"
mfr. Marsh"
"If the president should die, who
then would be presldent?"
"Mr Marsh"
could you be presldentT
"No."
"WhyT.
Mister You 'scuse. please ! very
busy worka da mine" -Everybodys.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Unfsvorable To pops's plans

London The comment iu German
newspapers reaching Amsterdam So
generally unfavorabie to- the pope's
peace note The German Catholic
papers express respect for The Pope's
initiative but consider The note dis
puieting as it regard Germany Inter.
ests. The Liberal newspapers view
the note as an appeal OF great hope.
fulncss The Morgon Post SAYS 30
does not see why Germany should ro-
feet the appeal The Tapcs Zeuung.
declares that the Popes peace pro.
Dosals would mean Germany ruin.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
A Good Comeback.

Tom Moore the poet. was the son
Of a Dublin grocer. without any push
ing on his part his genius and his un-
affected manner made him welcome
guest everywhere. All London went
mad over him On one occasion nj n
banquet he had made some brilliant
witticisms. A snob, thinking TO humil-
late him, leaned over the table 70 the
poet and quite audibly said. in n drawi-
ing tone:
"Pway, sir. wasn't yuor father a
grossah ?"
Moore smlllngly replied that he was.
Then. pway," continued the snob.
why didn't he make grossnh OF
your"
Moore quite affably reforted
Wasn't your father 81 gentiemanYr
"Of course he was" was the reioln.
der
Then why querled Moore. "ddn'i
he make o gentleman OF your
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
mo Peace Without Flanders"

Amsterdam.-Gen. Won Liebert. in
a speech, is quoted by the Deutsehe
Tages Zeitung as saying we can
not sign a peace before we have the
Flanders coast colonial empire and
maritime bases. Should we not real
ize this now we must prepare TO work
FOR 10 after the war in view OF the
next war" This may prolong the war
until Germany has been so beaten
that even our Pan-Germans cannot
think of the next war" says the Zeit-
ung
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
A peep Ahead.

This old millionaire and his beauti-
full bride. after their quiet wedding.
had "A quiet wedding breakfast. a deux.
Astrakhan cavair, eggs pompadour. a
truffed chicken. fresh California peas.
champagne-sO the quiet breakfast
ran.
my dear" said the old millionaire,
as the fruit course. superb Florida
melon, came ON, 'tell me, my dear
and he laid his withered hand on her
young one-''do you love me for what
/ am or FOR what / WASP"
The beautiful girl smiled down from
the window into the admring eyes
OF a young clubman who was passing
then she bent her clear. considering
gaze ON the gray ruin opposite and
replied
~ love you. George. for what you
viii be."-St Louis Post Dispatch.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

Martins Ferry o. Martins Ferry
was the scene Of two murders Sum
day the victims being Mildred BAN
uer. Negroes. and George Kovach. n
miner The Banner woman was
found on the river bank with three
knife wounds in her neck and the
police are looking for % Negro whose
arrest The woman had caused % short
time aro on thc charge OF selling D.
qnor Kovach wac shot In the back
it is alleged by a farmer who caught
him and another foreigner in his corn
Geld
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Armours Lose Plant.

Chicago. Fire believed 20 be OF
incendiary origin destroyed the Ar
mour & Co ice plant az Round Lake.
Ill. with a loss estimated by the com.
pany at 100000 Investigation OF
the company will be reinforced by
Federal operatives The ice plant is
said to be one OF the largest in the
world. II furnished the entire supply
OF ice for the Chicago packing plant OF
Armour & Co.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

lady while going downstairs TO
dinner had the misfortune to step
slightly on the dress Of a lady In front
~ aer. The man on whose nrm The
FORMER was leaning ruGely said aloud
80 fhat the couple in front might hear
always getting in the way like
t}aiaam's ass"
Upon which me lady whose gown
and been trodden on. turning round.
replied with q sweet smile:
pardon me. 80 was the angel who
stood iu The WHY and the ass which
er0Eo.r
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Child Of Seven Wants To Enlist

Pittsburgh, Pa.-Astounding the Off
GERS at the Emerson street armory OF
the First Pennsylvania Field Artillery
Brabazon II. Rutherford. aged Z. son
OF Mr.. and Mrs Brabazon Rutherford
OF 1852 Douglas avenue. applied for
enlistment. He is the youngest ap-
licant for military service in America,
and was dead in earnest He said
I'm tired waiting got TO go"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Troops sieze l. w. w. Leaders.

Spokane, Wash-James Rowan. dis
trict secretary of the Industrial Work
ers OF the World, and 26 other mem
bers OF the organization were arrest
ed at local l. w w. Headquarters by
company OF Idaho National Guards
men and placed in the county Jail as
military prisoners. Rowan had or
dered the general strike OF l. w. w.
labor in the Northwest to begin Mon
day.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Autoist is Killed: Six Injured.

Altoona, pam automobile carry
ing seven persons was hit by a Penn
sylvania railroad passenger train at
Bigler. near Clearfield. Ray Rupert.
% years old, of Huntingdon, Pa. was
killed. c. s. Rupert, his wife. son and
daughter, also OF Huntingdon, and ].
]. Hess and his wife OF Altoona, were
injured
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

a teacher asked her class 10 write
an essay on London She was sur
prised TO read the following In one
attempt
THE people Of London are noted
for their stupidity"
The young author was asked hoy
he got that ldes9n
fiease. MISS was the reply. 1T
soys ln The Textbooks the population
OF London Is very dense New yorb
Globe.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

when Mark Twain was young ana
struggling o friend Of his met him
walking through the streets with
cigar box under his arm. She said %
him:
"Mr. Clemens. whenever ] see you
there Is n cigar box under your aln.
I'm afraid you are smoking too mucn.
cit isn't that" said the impertufo'
able Mark 'Tm only moving again
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
SAYS PILE REMEDY
WORTH 100000 BOX

I have had itching piles ever since my
earliest recollection. l am SO years old
and have suffered terribly. 1 have tried
many remedies and doctors, but no cure
About weeks ago l saw your ad for Pc
terson's Ointment. The first application
stopped all itching, and in three days all
soreness. 1 have only used one 25c box
and consider I am cured, not feeling any
return of the trouble for 9 weeks. You
have my grateful heartfelt thanks, and
may everyone that has this trouble see
this and give your ointment, that is worth
= hundred dollars or more box, trial
Sincerely yours, A Newth, Columbus, o.
Peterson's Ointment for Piles, Eczema
and old sores is only 25c . box at al
druggists. Adv,
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
DIsTILLERlEs TO GOVERNMENT
Liquor Manufacturers Will Turn Plants
over on September 9th.

Liquor Manufacturers Will Turn Plants
over on September 9th.
Cincinnati ~ Distillers throughout
the United States will turn over their
plants to the Government for war pur-
poses the moment they C. sc on Sept.
8 under the requirements of the food
lew.
The following official statement was
issued by the National Wholesale
Liquor Dealers Association:
The plants will be held subject to
the necessities OF the Government fo-
.Le purposes OF making alcohol for war
munitions. Distilleries are as neces-
sary TO modern warfare as artillery.
1t takes nearly two pounds OF alcohol
to make one pound Of smokeless pow
der"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
euardsnan III FIeeina Nenro

Philadelphia Challenged by a mil
itary guard. Rufus Harris. a Negro.
is years old. started 10 run away. A
bullet from The guards rifle killed
him. Fayette Drever % years old.
q member OF the Federalized First.
Pennsylvania Machine Gun Company.
fred the shot lie said the Negro had
been acting suspiciously.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

Mrs. Knicker-Why do you think
she is a spy?
Mrs. Bosker-No other cook ever
STAYED as long
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
SKIN ToRTUREs

That itch, Burn and Scale Quickly Re.
lleved by cutioura-Trial Free.
Is takes about ten minutes to prove
that a hot bath with Cuucura Soap
followed by gentle applications OF
Cuucura Ointment will afford relief
and point TO speedy hcalment of
eczemas, feelings and lrrltauons. They
are ideal for all toilet purposes.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cutlcura. Dept. L.
Boston. Sold everywhere--Adv.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

Brown Ranks takes 81 great deal If
intcresht lu his business.
Green Never less than 10 por cent
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

Few men are brave enough 10 allow
q mlndreader 20 expose their thoughts
In the presence Of friends.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

40 sodder proof can be given bv a
man 81 DIS own litHencss than dis
oeiiei To great Carlyle
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

MUST Have Seen somewhere
Mother That hole was not ln your
glove this morning Molly
Molly Where was SC theu3
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

II thought Janet would be very
nervous about running her outomoDiIs
herself. but the girl Is perfectly fear
less"
81 should say she was. The iass
person she ran over was q traffic COP.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

A compartment for additional films
features 81 new camera carrying case
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23

Test mans professions by his prac-
tice.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1917-08-23
Got His.

What got you into jail?"
Il had lodged taxes so successfully,
explained the millionaire, that l got
overconfident"
"Huh?"
"And imagined l could dodge ALI
mony."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Bisbee daily review., 1917-07-11
LAND BANK IS HURTING UP
 ARIZONA LOANS
One National Farm Loan As sociation Already at Work in the State-Appraisers Working.

For the purpose of speeding up the work of the federal lank bank of Berk- eley additional appraisers are to be appointed for the Arizona territory at once. One national farm loan associa- tion in Arizona has been granted a charter and appraisers are now ap- praising the lands of members of two associations, and the applications for charters of three other associations are now receiving attention in Berke- ley.
 The federal farm loan board at Washington has recently made several rulings. interpreting the federal farm loan act, which are of interest to Ari- zona ranchers. Among 5aem are: That where homestead entryman on gov ernment land has in good faith occu- pied the land for the requisite period and made final proof by virtue of such settlement, his land office receipt may be accepted as evidence of basic title for the purpose of a loan under the
Bisbee daily review., 1917-07-11

feedral farm loan system. Where homestead entrymen commute at the end of 14 months and pay for their lands, the board will insist upon pay ent having been granted before loan will be passed.
 The board has also ruled that loans will be made on lands which are pri- marily agricultural lands, on which there are eases carrying the right to remove oils, gases or other materials. provided that the extent to which such use may interfere with the use of the land for agricultural purposes be talk en into consideration. In regard to stock raising, the board regards the use of money borrowed from federal land banks, for the purpose of purchas- ing sheep. as strictly within the pur- view of the law and altogether com mendable.