Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-10-19

that rankIe like fostering thorns in
ones memory.
IF the no argument rule prevailed
in every h:uIseGold It would st'anS-e
the family spat al It's birth and assure
that atmosphere Of peace and mar
mony in the home which is the only
air in which Cupid can breathe. or
course no man and woman are going
to think .like on every subject under
the sun. That is impossible. but they
need not argue over the points on
which they differ.
let the man concede TO his wife her
perfect right to think as she pleases
about subject Let the woman grant
her husband the privilege of his opin-
ion. Let them even state them once,
and then il they disagree. drop the
matter and turn TO more harmonious
topics for discussion. Put the soft
pedal on the argument and you have
at least laid the foundations for a
happy home.
The second rule for how TO be- hap
py, though married is. to CUT OUT
THE, BOSS STUFF. This goes both
ways for both husband and wife.
Modern conditions and modern
thoughts have rendered the old idea
that there had to be head of the
house, who was sort OF flat-sized
grinding-tyrant as extinct as the
Dodo. Marriage had ceased to be an
autocracy. 1t has become demo
cracy.
Because a man has married
woman gives him no right over her,
body and soul, no right to control her
every act, to dole out pennies to her
instead of giving her fair share of
their mutual income; no right to i'm
pose species OF domestic slavery on
her. Because woman has married a
man gives her no right to henpeck him
to death with petty tyrannies, TO tell
him what he shall eat and drink, and
when he shall come home, and where
lie shall smoke, and a thousand res
traints upon him that irk him to mad.
ness. . <..
Whenever you find couple who
are wise enough 10 give each other the
widest possible degree of personal
liberty you will find couple that has
made the most success of matrimony.
The querulous, complaining wives are
the ones beating impotently against
the doors of homes that have been
made jails by their husbands. The ex.
trayagant women are the women try
ing to get even with husbands whom
they believe to be holding out on them.
The husbands who lie to their
wives about having to work at night
when they are out with the boys are
them punch the clock. The husbands
and wives generally who jump over
the bars are those who are .bossed at
home to such an extent that they are
willing to risk anything to get away
from their keepers. for a little while
and have breath of freedom. (
The third rule for how to be happy
though married is to determine to
MAKE GOOD ON THE JOB. The
elementary part of this is work No
marriage is successful unless the man
can furnish the money to support it in
comfort. No home can be successful
unless the woman sees to II that the
home is clean and orderly, and the
table well spread with properly pre-
pared food. /.
Then comes the spiritual part. No
marriage is successful If the husband
grouches and glooms at home and says
things to his wife that he would not
dare to say to any other woman on
earth who had an able-bodied brother.
No marriage is successful If the wife
makes of her home place Of tears
and nerves, and peevishness, and
whining, and complaints, and nag.
ging. .
TO make good job of marriage a
man and woman must consciouly and
determinedly give to it their best and
brightest They must put more self
restraint on themselves in dealing
with each other than they would il
they were dealing with their best Gus
Toner. or their most cantankerous
boss. and they must study each others
whims and peculiarities and deal with
these more taetfully than they would
il they were diplomats arranging an
international dispute.
Finally a young couple who wishes
to be happy though married should
make up their minds at the very begin