The Little River news. (Ashdown, Little River County, Ark.) 1897-current, 1917-06-30

Drive with Moving Pictures, Tableaux,
Delsarte, and some newly acquired
technical Drivel, which he mouthed
with childish Delight.
Now We see him buying Clubs, al
| though he refers to them as Sticks
proving that he is still cropping Neo-
phyte.
He thinks that q shorter Shaft and
more of Lay-Back will enable him to
drive Mile. The Gooseneck Putter
will save him two on every Hole. Also,
will the Man please show him an Iron
guaranteed to reach all the way down
to the Dimple and PUNK it right in the
Eye.
Then all of the new Implements laid
out at Home and Wife sitting back,
listening to a Lecture as to what will
of Rest.
She had promised at the Altar to
Love, Honor and Listen. Still, it was
trying to see the once-loved Adult ca
vorting on the verge of Delnentia and
know that she was Helpless.
He sailed forth with those going to
Early Mass, and returned at the Yes
per Hour caked with Dust and ninety
eight per cent Locoed.
1t seems that at the sixth hole on the
Last Round where you cross the Crick
twice, he fell down and broke both
Arms and both Legs. SO he tore ZIP
the Medal Score, gave all the Clubs 10
the Gaddy. and, standing on the grass
Summit of the tall Ridge guarding the
Bunker, he had lifted n grimy Mitt
and uttered the Vow of Remuneration.
In other words, he was Through.
The senile Wrecks and the prattling
Juveniles, for whom the Game was in
vented, could have his Part of it for
all time.
Never again would he walk on the
Grass or cook his Arms or dribble Sand
all over the dark and tralnpled Ground
where countless Good Men had suffer
ed.
No, Indeed!
So next day he bought all the Para
phernalia known to the Trade, and his
name was put up at u Club.
1t was one of those regular and sure
enough Clubs. High East Winds pre-
vailed in the Locker-Room. Every
Member was a Chick Evans when he
got back to the nineteenth hole.
Mr.. Pallzey now began to regard the
Ancient and Honorable Pastime as a
compendium of Sacraments, Ordeals.
Incantations, and Ceremonial Formal
ties.
He resigned himself into the Gus
tody Of professional Laddie with
large staring Knuckles and Dialect
that dimmed all the memories of Lau-
der.
In a short time the Form was clas-
sy, but the Score had to be taken out
and buried after every Round.
Mr.. Pallzey saw that this Mundane
Existence was not all Pleasure. He
had found his Life-Work. The Lode
Star of his declining Years would be
an even one hundred for the eighteen
Flags.
Wife would see him out in the
Street feeling his way along, totally
unmindful Of his Whereabouts. She
would lead him into the Shade, snap
her Fingers. call his Name, and gradu-
ally pull him out of the Trance.
He would look at her with a filmy
Gaze and smile family, as if partly re-
memberlng, and then say: Don't for
get to follow through. Keep the head
downright with the left-no hunch-
ing-pivot on the hips. For Cuppy
Lie take the Nib If running up with
the Jigger, drop her dead. The full
st. Andrews should not be thrown in
to Putt. Never up, never In. Lift
the flag. Take pick-out from Casual
Water but play the Roadways. To
overcome Slicing or Pulling, advance
the right or left Foot. Schlaffing and
Socketing may be avoided by adding a
hook with a top-spin or vice versa.
The Man says there are twenty-six
Things to be remembered in Driving
from the Tee. One is Stance. I for
get the other twenty-five"
Then the Partner of his joys and
SoOIIOWS, Will tliC dCSOunt VII Iilc lyCD-
it Side. would shoot twenty Grains of
Aspirin into him and plant him in
the Flax.
Next morning at Breakfast he would
break it to her that the Brassie had de-
veloped too much of a Whip and he
had decided to try forty-inch Shaft.
They had Seasoned Hickory for
Breakfast, Bunkers for Luncheon and
the Fair Green for Dinner.
AS a matter of course they had to
give up their comfortable Home among
the Friends who had got used to them
and move QUITO a strawboard Bunga-
low so as to be near the Shambles.
Mrs. Pallzey wanted to do the White
Mountains. but Mr.. Pallzey needed her.
He wanted her to he waiting on the
Veranda at Dusk, so that he could tell
her all about it from the preliminary
Address to the final FoOzle.
Sometimes he would come home en-
veloped in a foglike Silence which
would last beyond early Candle Light
ing, when he would express the Opin-
ion that the Administration at Wash
ington had proved a Failure.
Perhaps the very next Evening he