The Lamar register., 1917-02-14
calamity"
BY HENRY JAMESON.

folding linen. She was the head nurse
and Joe was the elevator boy. He
showed her the Kittens injured paw
and she stroked the mewing object
pltyingIy. Her brown eyes We're very
soft.
what can we do with her, Joef I'm
sure the superintendent wouldn't allow
% kitten in the ward"
But. nurse, the men would hide II
when the superintendent comes. See
the poor little creature is trying O"
play"
So It was that Miss Mattesons
scruples were overcome. The broken
paw was bandaged and Jim, the man
in the diet kitchen, made the kitten
bed behind the range. Jim named her
Calamity" and she grew and thrived-
becoming much too lively, In fact, for
it was necessary to keep her out of
view when the superintendent or her
assistant appeared in the corridor.
Calamity at once entered upon Sc
ries of disasters that proved her
worthy Of her name. The first was her
fall into the soup can. Fortunately II
was not scalding hot. The ward had
been served, but the men In the diet
kitchen had no soup that day.
Calamity presented such a iiattened-
out appearance another time after
patient accidentally lay on her that
Pat, the garbage man, said on viewing
her: "Begorry, It's a bicycle poOmp she
do be nadin' to fiji her out ag'in." The
bathroom man failed to see her the
day she took a nap In a pile Of soilcd
linen and she went down the clothes
chute. The Iaundryman, however, re-
stored her to her anxious owners. Not
long nfterward she fell into the bath
tub. which was half full Of water. Arti-
fetal respiration was resorted to be
fore she was finally resuscitated.
Some OF the windows in the ward
were not provided with screens and
DUR very warm spell they were
opened The flies became troublesome
and when Miss Matteson applied for fly
paper she received instead a scathing
reprlmand from the superintendent for
allowing the patients TO open those
windows. Then the youngest inferno
suggested experimenting with rosln
and castor oil. They finally produced
II sticky hy-paper that answered every
purpose. At any rate it took two days
to remove all traces of it from Calam-
ity after she rolled up in a sheet Of IL.
The man IN the drugroom grumbled
over the amount Of alcohol required by
the ward at that time. Whether II was
while they were experimenting with
the mucllaginous decoction or while
Calamity was being treated to alcohol
rubs" that Cupid took "A hand. IL Is
certain that love affair had its be
ginning about that time. Miss Matte
sons brown eyes took on a dreamy ex-
preston and the youngest inferno
found it necessary to visit his typhoid
cases many times a day.
patient was admitted one day
whose case puzzled all the physicians.
He lay in a stupor with n perfectly
normal temperature, but a rapid pulse.
At times he could be aroused to an
swer questions, but oftener he remain
ed silent with closed eyes, There was
no trace Of any drug about him. He
was alone in a private room.
Going in the morning Of the third
day to take nourishment to him Miss
MnttesOn discovered him with wide
open eyes and as She approached the
he'd he called out: Good morning,
nurse" Then. noticing Calamity. who
was following her, he asked lis that
your kiiteng VIII you put her here
beside meg"
As the nurse turned 10 pick up ca
lamity the man dealt her IL blow that
fclled her to the floor. Then springing
from his bed he suutched up wooden
tray and raised 1t over her head.
Al that moment Pats Irish terrier,
who followed him about the hospital,
appeared in the corridor and at sight
Of her enemy Calamity ran clawing
and splitting straight up the madmun's
back. He was clad in a single thin
gurment and her claws brought the
blood wherever they touched him. lie
was so startled that he dropped the
tray.
just then the youngest inferno mp
peared on one Of mis- numerous visits to
the ward. He overpOwered the crazy
patient and, calling for help, soon had
him firmly tied.
Miss Matteson lay like one dead up
on the floor. When the other nurses
arrived the youngest inferno was try