The Washington herald., 1917-02-18
PATRIOTISM features
GRIDIRON Club Dinner
Emphasize Stand with President for
America First"
CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE.

finest buckero that ever straddled a
broncho. This is All Sin. the heather
Chinee. This is Hiram Johnson, Cali
forny's favorite native son-of-a-gun,
United States Senator by 100000 majority.
And this is William H. Crocker, one
of our niftiest little millionaires. Salute
you buzzards.
Alkali Ike-Wall, eff that amt my old
friend Try Bennett Hello, Try!
Bennett-Hello. Alkali! What are you
doing back here?
Alkali-Thought I might get a Job in
the line of my art.
Bennett-Nothing doing. Chamberlain's s
is gone, likewise Hancock's, and Shoe
makers is getting groggy. We're all
sheep In the hands of the Sheppard, of
Texas. The old towns going dry.
Member-The best one to explain
that mysterious little affair out in
Californy is All Sin, the heather
Chinee.
All SIN
Which wish to remark and my language is plain
That for ways that dark and for tricks that are
vain,
oalifCrnys mighty pecuhar-rhich the same I an
here to explain.
Hiram J. was his name. and shall not deny
For bluffns the game what that name might imply.
Though his smile it was chidlike and bland.
Twas November 7th and soft the skies.
Which 1t might be inferred Hiram ]. likewise.
Yet he played it that day OF, dear Charley Hughes
In a way that surely despise.
when it came time to vote Hiram J. took a hand
Though he claimed twas a game he did not un-
derstand
And his smile it was childliks and bland.
The voting W nete' CMFwetaoinhrdlu cmfwyp
The Voting On a hat I
And my feelngs shocked at the state Of Hy's
sleeve
Chuck full OF double-cross ballots. the same with
intent to deceive.
The result, as we know. convulsed the whols land.
And here's Hiram j., who did not understand.
And his smile it Is childHke and bland
Mr. John Snure, OF the Des Molnes
Register. the new member of the club.
was initiated with pomp and ceremony
the scene being the examination room at
Ellis Island. Mr.. Snure was duly exam
ined, among the questions asked him
being:
What is the building called IN which
Congress meets?"
Answer-"A School for Scandal"
What are the qualifications for a rear
admiral in the novy?"
Answer-"To cure cold and play a
good game of golf"
Name the principal streets leading to
the Capitol
Answer-"Pcnnsylvani avenue. North
Capitol street. South Capitol street and
Wall Street"
Are you an anarchist" Answer-'TSo
am a member OF the press gallery"
At this point the chairman of the COM
mittee said: "Mr. president, 1t Is evil
dent that this man is entitled to admission
to the United States. and his answers in
dicate ne would make a good member OF
the Gridiron Club. The question was put
to a vote and Mr.. SnUre was declared
elected
The old-time melodrama figured in the
dinner last night, the heroine the hero.
the villain, the adventures. the myste-
rious man and the old faithful servant
all playing their part.
The name of the play was THE Waif."
The heroine enters. sobbing. The villain
says: why are you crying. my DEAR"
The heroine answers: THE other girls
won't play with me-" and they say
don't know who my father is" What Is
your name?" asked the villain. They
call me Administration Leak" answers
the heroine
Villain (Aside)-Administra Leak!
At last 1 have found her; and now that
have found her she shall be mine for
ever. CTo Heroine): Adminlstration-Ad-
die-may I call you Addie?-cry no more
have loved you, girl; yea, since margins
have existed. have 1 worshipped you Fly
with me. We will sell the market short
and every luxury In the world shall be
thine. The pearls OF the Orient shall
girdle your neck. You shall have eggs