The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1917-02-18
GR|O|RON CLUB IN
USUAL HAPPY VEIN
Event Repiete With Skits and Salliea,
Many of Which Were Good
Naturcd Jibt-s At President
QUALIFICATIONS OF
REAR-ADMIRAL DESCRIBED
Must BE Able to Cure a Gold and Play
Good Game of Goif-Hiram
johnson Receives Attention At
JokeSmiths' Hands.
OF
REAR-ADMIRAL DESCRIBED

Washington. Feb. I7.-Attenled by
its usual notable gathering. including
President Wilson, Vice President Mar
shall and members of the ca bnet. the
Gritifrotf ciab gave its annual dinner
here tonight. Speeches were made
by most of the distinguished guests,
but. following the custom of years.
they were in confidence and may not
be published without the express con-
sent of the speaker. Last year Presi
dent Wilson consented to the publica-
ton of his remarks after some days
had Ciapsed.
The dinner. as usual. was replete
with humorous skits and sallies di-
rected at current events. The leak"
of President Wilson's peace note to
Wall street came in for a heavy seor-
Ing al the hands of the Ministries.
Congress. public officials, the appoint
ment OF DR.. Cary 7. Grayson as rear
admiral. the suffrage pickets at the
White House, and many other mat
ters also fell under the sarcastic
scythe of the entertainers.
A highly humorous sketch detail
ing the troubles OF an immigrant at
Ellis Island. was one of the cleverest
Of the offerings A visitor disguised
at the manner in which the inspector
is questioning the applicant, took up
the examination.
Examines APPLICANT.
Visitor-who is the president Of
the United States?
Snure (applicantl w oodrow Will
son.
Visitor-what does he do?
Snure-Spends most of his time
lodging women with yellow flags
! Visitor-Who is vice president"
Suure--I don't know.
Nisitor--Never mind. we don't
either, Who makes the laws?
Snure--Woodrow Wilson
Nisitor-Well. If Woodrow Wilson
makes the laws what does congress
dor
snure-squanders money on creeks,
rivulets and bluffs-rnostly bluffs
visitor-What is the building called
in which congress meets?
Snure--A school for scandal
Visitor-What are the quaiifica-
tions for a rear admiral of the navy !?
Snure-To cure a cold and play a
good game of golf
Nistor--Can you read the consti-
tuition of the United States?
snure--I never have.
Nistor-Weli, a good many Judges
have nothing on you.
A number Of original songs dealt
with the leak OF the peace note Hem
derson Morsell sang I'm William
Wood, the Plumber, the Guy Who
Stops the Leaks" Representative
Wood. OF Indiana, was the man who
introduced the resolution calling for
an investigation Of the leak
The song follows;I
l come from Indianny,
statesman great and true.
And whom I smell scandal
| don't care what do;
oh. If hear a rumor
l follow II for weeks,
For I'm William Wood, the plumber,
I'm the guy who stops the leaks
Chorus
For he's William Wood. the plumber,
The guy who stops the leaks.
come from Indianny.
A statesman great and true
AT raisin hell I'm dandy,
don't care what / do;
I start the pot a-beiling,-----------
No matter how ii reeks.
For I'm William Wood, the plumber.
I'm the guy who stops the leaks.
Harry Stevens also sang a song on
the same subject Down On the
Leaky Way" II follows:
l could see chance to garner in
much kale
In my dreams. in my dreams:
could hear a voice that sounded like
wall
Calling me. 1t seems.
In my languid state l heard some
body saying: