The Washington times., 1917-04-23
Don Marquis
Column
Preface To the Play. of EuripIdes.

| than we could summon to the crltlcal
consideration of any other Greek
dramatist. We know more about Eu-
ripides. We have read more of him.
We once read five lines of him in
the original Greek. 1t is true that
we did not know what they were
about when we read them, and should
not know now; but we read them
thirty or forty times, and something
about the manner in which we read
them saved a mans life.
We were fussing around the office
OF the Atlanta (Ga-) Journal one
morning about 3 o'clock. having just
finished an editorial which we thought
would likely elect Hoke Smith gov
ernor IL he were able to live up to It.
when we ran across a copy OF "lpht-
Renia in Tauris" 1t was q new edi-
tion and some trusting publisher had
sent it along in the vain hope that II
would be noticed. We happened 10
! know the alphabet and could mispro,
nounce a few words, and we turned
over the pages. wishing that we were
able to read the thing-it might give
us a chance to elevate our mind'
which was suffering from the fright
| full strain of writing about Hoke
Smith in such a way that even Hoke
would believe himself q statesman.
And thinking how great a man Eu-
ripides probably was, for all we
knew, and how superior to Hoke
Smith he must have been in many
ways, we got very hungry.
And went across the street TO a
little basement lunchroom kept oy
fellow named George. Stefanopoulous'
who always put so much onion in MS
Hamburger steaks one could not taste
the beef. II one poured enough
Worcestershire sauce over them so
that one could not taste the onions
they could be eaten. We carried Eu-
ripides with us, and George told us
proudly that there Is no more diner
ence between the Greek OF Euriptdes
and the Greek written and spoken In
Athens today than between the Eng
lish of Shakespeare's time and the
English of today. Inquiry revealed
that Georges knowledege of Shake
speare was about as extensive as our
knowledge OF Euripides, and SO we
cannot vouch for his statement.
InterruptlnB our course IN EsuTipiucs
some one or some thing has oeen
interrupting US all our life every time
we seemed to be on the point OF really
getting into the classtcs-in came
fellow named Henry.
Henry roomed with us. and roamed
with us at that time, and he was
chronic sufferer from false angina
| pectoris. This is q disease unknown
| to Euripides, but Alcibiades undoubt-
edly developed it) which has a the
effects upon patient and observer OF
real heart disease; no one takes 1t
| lightly but the doctors. In Henry's
case IL was aggravated by a fondness
\ for Georgia corn whisky and stun he
ate out OF tin cans. This diet did
things TO his stomach: his stomach
kicked to his pneumogastric nerve,
and his pneumogastric nerve gripped
his heart as with iron claws, squeezed
II to the size OF a peanut, twisted II
| like a fountain pen that won't un-
screw and convinced us that It would
never beat again. The mainS differ
ence between real angina and pseudo
| angina las far as we can gather from
Euripides) is that while both can
kill you, the real sort kills you more
quickly and kindly.
| henry pulleu a Hpdsm OF u "HIe
| George was telling us about Eurip-
ides; writhed abou-, and fell to the
/ floor semi-conscious.
l., Heat, applied to the heart. and
strychnine or aromatic ammonia, IL
you can get hold of them, are (as
Aesculappius would say) indicated"
So we sent Georges assistant to
telephone for a doctor and applied a
hot Hamburg steak, just out OF
Georges frying pan, to Henrys
bosom.
We had frequently helped Henry
die with his heart. but this time we
were alarmed.
George" said we. throw another
Hamburger steak into the skillet at
once. His pulse had stopped entirely.
And this steak is cooling"
Just then Henry's eyes fiuttered,
and he strove to speak. We bent over
the sufferer.
''rm dying" murmured Henry.
Pray Pray for me-"
| II caught us unaware: we could not
remember any formal petition. In
| desperation we took up Euripides,
| dnOs db the seCOIu
went hot and sizzling and dripping
with grease from Georges frying pan
| to Henry's heart. we began to chant
one OF the choruses.
There was something about a Basi-
leon in it, whatever a Basileon is.
|
Thank your' muttered Henry.
The third steak was getting cool,
and still Georges assistant did not
return with a doctor. Henry's chest
was cooling, too. His feet and hands
| were cold. He had no more pulse
than a wooden Indian or one of the
IRON dogs in Hoke Smiths front
yard. II we had known a real prayer
we would have switched to 1t from
Basileon.
| And just as we were putting Basi-
leon over the jumps for the eight
eenth time George Stefanopoulous an.
nounced:
"sIr, i have no more Hamburger
steak to fry"
MY God" said we, "Basileon-Ba-
sileon-dig up. something else-Ba
sileon-Basileon-fr an egg, George
l-Basileon-Basileo be quick
about It. Fry two eggs"
|