The Washington herald., 1917-11-14
Rupom
PsRuNs
Those German Habits.

ing against his wife, Lillian Frazer.
Nav sir?" answered Jess. ''she
turned de gas on me whilst All sleep
and 1t woke me up sizzin' into de
room"
Jess told an awful tale about his
wife. He said she threw a butcher
knife at him, put poison in his food
and then topped it off by turning the
gas on in his room while he slept.
Lillian didn't look at all fierce. In
fact she looked as harmless as a kit
ten with its claws trimmed. She told
the court that Jess had tried to starve
her.
1t all happened, she told the court,
because Jess had gotten himself an
affinity. He had q mormonish dis
position. she said.
But to prevent a murder from being
committed the court told Lillian to
furnish real estate bond of 500 or
go to jail for ninety days.
A Little Too Quick.
Talk about speed! Bill Hawkins is
the original speedster.
At o'clock one afternoon last sum-
mer Bill was introduced to a woman.
At 4 o'clock the same afternoon, he
had proposed marriage and was ac-
cepted.
The lady's name was Broadens
Jackson. Sounds masculine but it
isn't.
She was perfectly willing to take
Bill for better or for worse.
A month rolled by. Bill had a mil
lioa excuses for putting off the mar
riage. His bride-to-be handed over a
stove, rug and a chair. She was
anxious to get some rooms fixed UP.
Bill took the things He invented
some more excuses. Then he sold the
things. Bride-to-be found 1t out and
forgave him, but she said she would
like to have the proceeds of the sale.
Well, one thing brought on another
and when Broadens found out that
Bill was only making a monkey of
her and didn't intend to let her be a
blushing bride, she had him arrested
for larceny.
Sixty days." said the court.
John Has sTouching" Ways.
Last Monday John Blaine called on
Ethel Beane.
friends, but hadn't gotten to the stage
night, as yet.
hour in the little parlor. A boy ran
over from the corner drugstore and
called Ethel to the phone.
Left to himself John began a sur
vey of the room. All the time Ethel's
aunt was watching him, but he didn' t
know it.
lifting O small JisI 80 a. ,.....t.
John saw small watch. He put it to
his ear. No, it wasn't ticking. Very
quietly he slipped it in his vest pocket
When Ethel came in all out of
breath, her aunt called her. She
whispered in her ear. The poor girl
felt like a brick had hit her.
Going over TO John she sat down.
and stuck her tongue out at him. She
refused to talk. He coaxed and
coaXed. Twas no use.
When cop burst in the door John
tainted. The jig was up. And now
Ethers little heart is broken. But
II Johns bad habit is broken by a CO.
day sentence all will be we'll.
All Prisoners Convicted.
Whoever heard of a bean pie?
When Susie Calls and her friend,
Pete Brown. went into a Greek res
taurant last Saturday night to eat
supper they had no idea that thes
were going TO spend the night in the
lookup
Pete ordered a piece of pumpkin pie
for Susie. The first forkfull she cut
Off surprised her. ok-a-heah,
Pete" she yelled, dis pie is full OBJ
BEANS"
The waiter heard the remark and
came over Dat pie is no bean pie
he said, dat iss wot you call spump-
kin pie. Maybe a bean fell overheard
in it, dass ALL"
Pete didn't like the explanation. He
hit the waiter In the head with the
pie plate. For a few minutes the
place looked like a motion picture
comedy.
Pete and Susie were locked up. The
waiter got himself bandaged up. And
so the tragedy of piece of pumpkin
pie with few beans on the side,
cost Pete and Susie $40 apiece.
Jack Got His.
John Frost is his right name Folks
call him Jack Frost for short. For
| colored man, he has rather reddish
hair.
No one ever know him to do a days
work. yet he dresses better, eats bet
| ter and lives better than most peo-
pie who do work.
He has a system. It's a secret sys-
TEN. Not even the court found out
about it. All We know is that the
system failed because he couldn't col
! lect ten-spot to pay his fine.
Jack resented some remarks made
about him on Sunday night. He was
taking his girl to the movies. Two
men on the corner said something
! about his being a crook and a crap
shooter.
This was rather embarrassing for
Jack. He looked menacingly at the
pair, then went over and whipped
! the biggest one.
Harry Phillips. the whipped indi-
Vldual, had about eleven yards of
court plaster and bandage wrapped
/ about his anatomy.
The last We saw of Jack, the girl
was talking to him about getting
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