The Alaska citizen., 1917-08-06
A Cheechaco's Trip
 Over the Valdez Trail

" ~ ~ VI - Cd ~
 new par The one night. after
 ,ho mud had dr-d on my sui. the
 garment fell or. a hook in road house and Was shattered to such au extent that | Tea zrd tha, Was due
 10. d nyw suit p readymadcs Later on | ben, over tp lar and brok" my
 mud.vncrustod l. Y. D.7 in several
 places. md then tendcrly removed
 my collar button and placed it in a hand grip n or6 r to come through the trip with lie part Of my ap paroI intact. II Was the only per
 .onaI effect l w. able to salvage
 Early in lhe lip l noted the ab- sonco ot tlubel n rhi, country. e- r,ciauy a1cnz r'r right 0. way os the trail. Now know how ,r LU pcnrd All of ise timber within a mile ur mole c. the trau had hneu cu, down 10 pr. autos out of mu. holes ,hlnk we must have cu enough timber t. build aH rho roaa houses on the all Al tn" begin ning of the tri. l hoastcd ol m' prowcss us oodsman, and, o' course, | Was el.cted to handle ,h. axe. A, exhibit A" see several and s.mdry bIi-tera l.. ,he writer's har | couldn't conc i've ol how a roa. could get so Il. ddy until We snr prscd road CT al their layomt. sport ot uappia innocent and m su,pectins autos n lalrs &s well as layers of mud To the innocent spectator it al. ared as if they picked out a par cularly muddy hill then searched yund for d deposit of sticky gumbo and heaped it ur on the road. Fr.n then on our only hope was to g., over the road b" fore the repar crews had ch"nco to poster ir.
 A feeling of sadness comes oye' me when I realize that I will never be able to wind D the family phono- graph again. l Lad to crank up th' Ford so many tines that now every time | give my right arm twist ing motion feel a faintness coming over me.
 When We We. in the worst ot the mud, a pedestrian came walloW- ing through it. | was told that such pedestrians are designated by the name 'musher." Quite appropriate, thought, for il must feel like walk ing in mush to nike over the trail after a heavy Iain
 And before tho end of the trip l discovered that had the makinSs of d Russian diplomat, as my "hisN CTS had grown to extensive propoI- tions. One roadl ouse man asked ne if | had vowed not to shave until Hughes is elected, and if l were not sure that there is a clos"d season on roadhouse p.oprietOrs, l would have slain him on the spot. Once we missed getting a tow from d team of horses We were .ubmer9ed in mud and the team walked right over us without detecting our pres once. If we had had periscope with the words Truth Wagon" on it. We would have been saved. Or floating buoy to mark the spot where We went down would have suHiced also,
 And thus, on reaching Fairbanks, | made a wide deyour of all buildings that looked like 4 jail and made for clothing store. There l bought d complete outfit, excepting the collar button, which l had been thoughtful enough to put i'll my grip,
 And at the conclusion of my mud pilgrimage I hereby solemnly swear that l am no shrinking violet ad- verse to notoriety or publicity, and that they can name all the lakes and mountains after me that they may see fit, but name the Valdez trail after me and I will fight to the last drop of blood that the mos QuitOes left in me.
 HrnnNrCtnE7 EC