Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1917-03-30

The bars are open somewhere and
somewhere hearts are light:
Somewhere the nighballs tinkle. some
where there's Scotch and rye,
But there is no joy in Georgia. the
old states gone bone-dry.
Yes. there is balm in Gilead. but
legally speakinG-there is no booze in
Georgia. The state awOke Thursday
morning to find that overnight the W k.
bolt had fallen from the blue. The
governor had signed The bill which
makes il almost a penal offense to wear
a red nose or breathe suspiciously.
Immediately. the, vast work of de-
struction-still legally speaking-be-
gan. From all over Atlanta went up
the sound Of crashing axes and break
inS glass. Every man was his own
Carrie Nation and, in compliance with
the law. proceeded TO obliterate the last
drink. Picture the scene!
The old prohibitionist who has been
downing the demon rum since he was
able TO read Ten Nights in Bar
ROOM" picks up the morning paper and
sees the glad news. Forthwith he
hastens TO the cellar clost and ransacks
its darkest depths. From a tangle of
old clothes and moth balls he pulls in
triumph the dusty half pint he bought
in 1897 and has been saving for 10!
these many years. against possible sick
ness He trembles with guilt as he
gazes at it: he is a law-breaker! Ruth
IessIy he filings the contents down the
drain pipe.
Here another man reads the paper
rushes TO the woOdshed. grabs an axe
til h
sIancing fearsomely to left and right
less the hounds of the law come upon
him before he has done away with the
prima facie-smashes into dust his cask
of beer,
There another plants a farewell kiss
ons.the cork of the quart he had re-
trieved from the express office Wednes-
day afternoon and, with averted face.
holds il upside down above the kitchen
sink TrickIe. trickle. trickle beats the
death watch from the non-refillable.
WHY THEY WE'RE LATE.
Thousands of Iaw-abiding citizens
were late TO the office-so legal report
hath it-with the excuse that they
were delayed by the duty of complying
with the law. Many of them bore cork
screws which they said they were going
to frame and hang upon the wall. so
the strange relic. would say:
Father. what. is this funny little
ding-bat?''
That my son. is a corkscrew: it was
a popular household pet i'm the Wet
Age: but the last of the species per-
ished in Georgia about the year 1871"
In Darktown the news that the gov
ernor had signed the bill precipitated
the widest legal scenes. Upright old
darkies. filled with a high sense of their
LOYALTY 70 the state. marched in regi-
ments to the Butler street sewer to
pour their sacrificial offerings upon
the altar of duty.
From The hills of north Georgia came
reports or the Jealous haste of the
moonshiners 10 meet the provisions OF
the law Broken distilleries were said
to be as thick as red bugs i'm July.
Corn whisky was poured into the head
waters OF the Chattahoochee by gal
ions.
out Of the hills Of Hsbersham.
down through the valleys of Hall.
flowed the ChattahOochee. fraught with
white lightning. Incoming tributaries
sweIIed the stream with the outpour
ing OF the citizens of twenty counties.
The sewers of Atlanta doubtless sent
I'D the fragrance of Milwaukee until
they emptied into the Chat.
RIVER a GLORIOUS HfGHBALL.
By noon Thursday il was rumored
that highballs were being scooped up
To order in the shadows near Bolton,
and that bars were being hastily erect
ed i'm every canebrake.
on and on will flow the river, in
crea sing its intoxicating qualities at
every town. until il reaches the open
sea. where submarine sailors will quaff
deep of the beer automatically sailed,
and residents along the shores of Yucca
tan will go down to the ocean with
many buckets to taste of the white
mans burden.
Yet tits a strange thing that of all
the wild rumoTs and reports. there are
none which tell of drunken fish and
rampssing water moccasins Certain
". since all Georgia is apouring out
today. the scaIy denizens OF the deep
must show some signs of inebriatiOn,