davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

man nature, and In the whole economy
of the providence of God in regard to
the physical world, everything is on
the march upward and onward. And
one thing is very certain, that neither
in the individual nor In the collective
mass has the intlmation of God in the
human conscience verified and fulfilled
itself. The imperfection shows that
we are not much further than the bud
somewhere we have right to a pre-
science of the blossom.-Henry Ward
Beecher.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Best Of References.

"The cook is leaving today and
wants me to give her recommends
ton, but don't know what to say"
"You might say she is good work
err"
"a good worker! She's anything
but that"
"Oh, don't know. She has worked
us for $50 a month and her board, has
MT e?"--Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Evolution and Immortality.

There is an element in evolution
which endears 1t to me and to every
man; think it throws bright CLEANS
on the question of Immortality. / see
that the unfolding series in this world
are all the time from lower to high
er, that the idea is not reached at any
point, that the leaf works toward the
bud, and the bud toward the blossom,
and the blossom townrd the tree. and
that In the whole experience Of hu-
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Aanlrations to LeadershIp,

John" said Mrs. Bracer, "you must
learn not to eat with your knife"
Don't worry about that. II we gel
few more millions an little more
pull you an nell be able to set the
style an make people that don't cal
with their knives look perfectly un
fashionable. Washington Star
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
The Early Huntsman.

1.-THE pilgrim fathers went out and
shot wild turkeys"
"The custom was much safer than
those of hunters today. A turkey is a
great improvement on deer Turkeys
sit up in trees where there isn't the
slightest possibility that man will
mistake a fellow hunter for one Of
them. Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Where She Was.

A small boy, who afterwards proved
to be nephew of one of the mayors
stenographers, was wandering about
in the city hall when one Of the off
cials there happened upon him.
"Well, sonny" inquired the man
genially, "for whom are you looking?'
For my Aunt Kate"
"Can't you find her?"
II can't seem to-"
"And don't you know here she is?''
mot exactly. She's in here some
where, tho, and know that the mayor
works in her office. ."-Harper's Mag
azine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Too Much Music.

I know an old fellow whose family
is very musical. He said to me one
day: "My eldest girl is pianist. My
son is a violinist. Jane, my second
daughter, is a flarpist. My wife Is q
vocalist, and my two boys, Peter and
Bill, are a flutist and trombonist.'
"And you," said, what are you?'
"Me?" said the old man. ooh, I'm
a pessimist Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
He Won.

Before you kiss me, Horace, lei
me tell you that Fred has, given Kitty
diamond ring. You have never given
me one"
Dearest, it is only girls who are
not precious in themselves who re
Quire the aid Of precious stones"
20, you may kiss me twice, Hor
ace!"-Fond du Lac Reporter.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

Garfield Tea was your GRANDMOTHER
Remedy for every stomach and intes-
tinal Ill. This good old-fashioned herb
home remedy for constipation, stomach
ills and other arrangements of the sys-
TEN so prevalent these days is in ever
greater favor as family medicine
than in your grandmother's day.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
His Best.

She (on board ship)-Mr. Jones, If
l fell overheard and were drowning,
would you jump in and save me?
He (hesitating, but honest)-By
Jove! Do you know, don't believe
| could. But tell you what would
do. I would watch you drown with
the deepest sorrow and regret.-Life.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

"This defendant is charged with
killing her husband" stated the attor-
ney. "Is there any reason why you
could not give her fair trial?"
"Well," replied Miss Oldgirl, who
wanted to be honest, II think men are
too scarce to be wasted that way
Judge
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Forced to Economic.

"Well, my boy" said the genial faith.
er-in-law, now that you have married
my daughter, trust that our relations
will continue to be most cordial"
II hope SO, SIR"
"But you surely don't think l will
regard you any less lightly now than
did before?"
"I'd hate to think that, sir, but
must warn you that since l have a
wife to support, can no longer afford
to buy the expensive cigars I've beer
giving you."-Philadelp Ledger.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Picked Eaas.

Boil fresh eggs one-half hour, then
put into cold water. In the meantime
have beets boiled until tender, remove
skins, cut in dice form and covered
with splced vinegar. Shell the eggs and
drop into the pickle Jars. This is an
ornamental pickle and considered very
good.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Order.

1t is half-past eight on the blossomy
bush;
The petals are spread for summing;
The little gold fly is scrubbing his
face;
The spider is nervously running
To fasten a thread; the night-goine
moth
Is folding his velvet perfection;
And presently over the clover will
come
The bee on a tour Of inspection.
Paul Scott Mower in January Cen
tury.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
(lranulated Eyehds,
Common Incident.

whats the trouble here?" asked
the policeman,
Nothing serious" answered the
movie manager zone of my patrons
asked woman in front of him to take
off her hat and she invited him out
side to hear her opinion of him.
Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

johnnie amt goin' to school any
more. Just because l snickered a lit
tie the teacher turned me over to the
principal and the principal turned me
over to pa!
Mother-Was that all?
Johnnie-No, pa Just turned me
over his knee.-Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

Mature always surpasses art"
II can't see it that way" replied the
man who wears arctic overshoes. "The
artificial snow they use on Christmas
trees is vastly preferable to the real
kind. Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

"Do you enjoy problem play?"
Sometimes" replied Miss Cayenne.
"It's the only way know of to talk
scandal without harming somebody
who actually exists" - Washington
Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
SeIf.Starter.

"I'll bet you do some cranky thing
to make your wife begin the trades
you complain Of"
Nothing in the cranky way doing.
She's a self-starter." - Baltimore
American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Her Difference.

"Why didn't Rastus marry dat Coo
pah gal?"
"Oh, she done funk at de last min
ute-wouldn't lend him dollah fob t.
git de license wif."-Boston Trans
cript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
MaYhe So.

"Flubdub seems to think none the
less Of his wife on account Of her in
creasing gray hairs"
"And why should he? He probably
caused most OF them. louisville
Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
A Question Resented.

Judge-Were you ever arrested be-
fore?
Raggles-Honest now, Judge, do
look like was bud jest maxim me
dayboo?-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Costly.

when do you expect to go abroad?"
mot for some time. 1t will take
several years after the war Is over
for us to recover from the expense of
having to live at home."-Puck.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

Young Mother-The doctor says
people shouldn't kiss the baby; it isn't
sanitary.
Caller-Poor little fellow; why don't
you wash him ?-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Inventory Time.

"What are you worrying about now,
girlie?"
"Oh, girl never really knows how
much a man loves her."
Christmas, however, gives one a
fairly good line on the situation."-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Such is Perversity.

Good advice is SO generally objec-
tionable that some men won't accept
1t even when you tell them not to
make fools of themselves Houston
Post ~
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
SUCCESS or A NEW REREnY FuH
DAGNCHE, KIDNEYS, RHEUMATISM.

Dear Mr.. Editor suffered for years
with backache. Last March ! tried
cAnuric" and have used this new kid
ney medicine recently discovered by
DR.. Pierce, and IL was wonderful the
way it eased the pain and gave me
relief in such short time. ! have
tried several medicines, but rAruric"
is the only one that gave satisfaction.
l feel it my duty to recommend
cAnuric Tablets"to any one who suffers
as did.
{ Signed J Mrs. MARGARET E. SNIDER.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Butter substitute.

A great saving may be effected by
mixing equal quantities Of good mar
garlne and fresh butter The mixture
tastes quite as well as fresh butter.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
We Get You, Madam.

"He used such grand words and ele-
CANT language" said Mrs. Blunderby of
a lecturer she mad heard: "he simply
electrotyped his audience. Boston
Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Acme Of nIah All.

swhat were those rare plaques
noticed on your dining-room plate
rail?" MY wife's first pies. sir."--
American Cookery.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
UnIucky 10.

"Do you consider 13 at table un-
lucky"
ut is il they're all hungry and the
turkey isn't unusually large" Wash
ington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

WANTED = Agents to sell Endless Neckties
Latest thing out; Is Ties in one. To show them
means sale. Get in the field for easy money,
Samples and terms. 75c. THE NECKTIE MAN
| La Grande Oregon
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16

DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription
makes weak women strong, sick women
well, no alcohol. Sold in tablets or liquid.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
But Thev All Do

Nothing is more futile than trying
to conceal bald spot.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-02-16
Lots Of Turns,

Lapland is the country for small
children
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
Tert of Presidents Speech
Continued from Page one)

taken, in ways which it has stirred us very deeply to learn of, but the ships and people of other neutral and friendly nations have been sunk and overwhelmed in the waters in the same way. There has been no discontinuation. The chal- lenge is to all mankind Each nation must decide for itself how it will meet it. The choice we make for ourselves must be made with moderation of coun- sel and temperateness of judgment be- fitting our character and our motives as a nation. We must put excited feeling away. Our motive will not be revenge or the victorious assertion of the phy- sical might of the nation, but only the vindication of right of human right, of which we are only a single champion.
 MEANS IMPRACTICAL
 When 1 addressed the Congress on the 18th of February last, thought that it would suffice to assert our neutral rights with arms, our right to use the seas against unlawful interference, our right to keep our people safe against unlawful violence. But armed neutrality, it nov appears, is impracticable. Because sub marines are in effect outlaws when used as the German submarines have been used against merchant chippii. g. It is i'm possible to defend ships against their at tacks as the law of nations has assumed that merchantmen would defend them selves against privateers or cruisers, vis- ible craft giving chase upon the open sea. It Is common prudence in s lch circum- stances, grim necessity indeed, to en- deavor to destroy them before they have shown their own intention. They must be all. The German government denies the right of neutrals to use arms at all with in the areas of the sea which it has pre- scribed, even in the defense of rights which no modern publicist has ever be- fore questioned their right to defend. The
 ntmation is conveyed u at the armed guards which we have placed on our yond the pale of law and subject to be dealt with as pirates would be- Armed neutrality is intellectual enough at best; in such circumstances and in the face of such pretensions it is worse than ineffec- tual; it is likely only to produce what it was meant to prevent 1t is practically certain to draw us into the war without belligerents. There is one choice we can not make, we are incapable of making. We will not choose the path of submis sion and suffer the most sacred rights of our nation and our people to be ignored
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
Rrnakfast

IT. D. sedgwick. in the Yale Review.
 Breakfast is the poetry of eating. Strong with the invigoration of sleep. still animated by the intimacies of soap and water, a man comes to his breakfast like boy; boy comes down like winged Mercury, and takes his seat as if alghted on a heayen-kissing hill. Break fast is the handiwork of Lucifer, Son of the Morning, and no doubt caused the ar rogance that wrought his fall. Freshness sits at your right hand, the dust of the day has not yet settled on your soul, and you meet your fellows like morning stars shining at each other. Good morning." What delightful. greeting! Did good evening" ever sound so musically as good morning" when the first frag- rance of coffee, mullins and homney bursts 1pon the anticipating senses. Trip ping down stairs is almost like flying, and pulling out ones chair gives the last fillip to appetite Everything is welcome and welcoming, The dogs wags his tail with more than his usual cordiality even to a stranger, and looks up for morsel with an especial supplication The cat purrs louder than ever; even summer flies lose a portion of their intolerble- ness. Porcelain turns a translucent cheek towards the suns kisses and crockery makes high resolutions of lightness and fragility, while silver gleams and gilt ters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
STOP! CALOMEL IS QUICKSILVER It's mercury! Attacks the
 bones, salivates and makes you sick

There's no reason why person should take sickening, salivating call omel when 50 cents buys large bot tie of Dodson's Liver, Tone-a perfect substitute for calomel.
 It is a pleasant, vegetable liquid which will start your liver just as surely as calomel, but. it doesn't make YOU sick and cannot sallvate.
 Children and grown folks can take Dodsons Liver Tone, because it is per fectly harmless.
 Calomel is a dangerous drug. It IS mercury and attacks your bones. Take a dose of nasty calomel today and you will feel weak sick and nauseated to- r.orrow Don't lose days work. Take spoonful of Dodson's Liver Tone .in- stead and you will wake up feeling great. No more biliousness, constipa- tion. sluggishness, headache, coated tongue or sour stomach Your drug gist says if you don't find Dodson's s Liver Tone acts better than horrible caiomel your money is waiting for you.-Adv.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
NATIONAL DEFENSE MEASURES FEATURE
 FIRST SESSION OF
 THE 65TH CONGRESS
,continued from Pnse One)

for rushing them through the House iu the form in which they were passed there ir tho last Congress.
 Popular subscription of a S50o oOo.o0o fund to aid France is proposed by Senator smoot, who is preparing a resolution au- thorizing the President to appoint coli lection committee. Should the entire amount not be subscribed by June l. Sem ator Shoot proposes that the government shall appropriate funds to fill it out to the half billion dollar mark.
 "Ths." Senator smoot explained. 'is my idea of the aid we should give France. because the only republic in the war ought to be assisted by the greatest republic in her fight to maintain the honor and dignity and preservation of her republicanism."
 Many suffrage measures were intro- duced. Representatives Heating, Cobra do, democrat, and Mondell Wyoming, re- publican, introduced joint resolutions for a constitutional amendment directing that the right Of vote shall not be denied on account of sex. Representative Baker of California, democrat, introduced a resolu- ton for 8 constitutional amendment ex- tending the right of suffrage to women.
 The Webb resolution of the last Con- gress for a constitutional amendment for nationwide ~prohibition was introduced by Representative Heating. Representa- tive Gallivan, democrat, of Massachu- sets presented resolution expressing the sense of Congress that there can be no permanent peace except on the princi- pie that governments derive powers from the consent of the governed.9
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
PRESIDENT WRITES MARITAL MESSAGE
 HR|S OWN HAND

Washington. April 2.-Reluctant up to the last moment to take the final step m the long controversy with Germany, ffesldent Wilson showed as soon as he got up early this morning that he was ready for the inevitable task
 before breakfast his address to Con- eress, written by himself on his type writer, was sent to the public printer Tn sealed envelope. Secretary Tumulty was called to the White House an hour carrier than usual, and the President gave word that he was ready to appear before congress just as soon as the House or ganized
 Realizing that it would be hours be- lore ne could speak, the President fresh- ened up on the golf links until noon. lie received frequent bulletins the progress of the organization of the House and expressed pleasure when told that speaker Clark had been reelected.
 Although it was the Presidents idea at hfst to wait until o'clock on the House and to postpone his address until tomor- row if prepara tions were not completed by that time he changed his mind as the day wore on, and determined to go to the capitol whenever the House was ready. Late in the afternoon Democratic Leader Kitchn conferred with the White House, by telephone and fixed the hour at o'clock.
 
 closely guarded than ever before. Not even the members of the cabinet were shown the text, although they knew in a general way what the President planned to say. MT. Wilson read proof on the address himself
 Throughout the day members of the Senate went to the White House for in- formatio, but were given no details The President saw no callers but during the afternoon he went to the state war aud navy buildings to see Secretary Daniels and Secretary Lansing.
 A great crowd assembled at the White House when the President left for the capitol. A reserve corps of police was 4alled out but there was no disorder.
 Patriotic songs, including My Country, 'Tis of Thee" The Star-Spangled Ban ner, Yankee Doodle" and Dixie" stirred the crowd to high pitch of pa triotism which broke into wild cheering when the President appeared.
 The presidential party was f1anked on both sides by motorcycle police and se- cret service men. The automobile took an unfrequented route from the eXecu- tive mansion, passed rapidly through a side street and approached the capitol from the north side
 Thousands of people had lined Penn sylvana avenue to see the President as he went along the usual route to the capitol
 A great demonstration was given him when he arrived at the capitol. Two troops of the Second cavalry from Fort Myer had cleared the entire plaza at the eastern front.
 Tine President remained up until nearly midnight tonight talking with Col. E. NJ House, who came to Washington to hear the address, and left at F o'clock for New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03

or violated. The wrongs against which we now array ourselves are no common wrongs; they cut to the very roots of human life
 PROFOUND STEP
 With a profound sense of the sol emn and even tragical character of the step I am taking and of the grave re- responsibilities which it involves, but in unhesitating obedience to what l deem my constitutional duty I advise that the Congress declare the recent course of the imperial German government to be in fact nothing less than war against the government and people of the United States; that it formally ac- cept the status of belligerent which has thus been thrust upon it and that it take immediate steps not only to put the country in more thorough state of defense but also to exert all its power and employ all it's resources to bring the government of the German empire to terms and end the war
 What this will involve is clear It will involve the utmost practicable CO., operation in counsel and action with the governments now at war with Germany and, as incident to that, the extension to these governments of the most liberal financial credits, in order that our resources may so far as pos sible be added to theirs It will in- volve the organization and mobiliza- tion of all the material resources of the country to supply the materials of war and serve the incidental needs of the nation in the most abundant and yet the most economical and efficient way possible. It will involve, the imme- diate full equipment of the navy in all respects but particularly in sup plying it with the best means of dealing with the enemys submarines
 5OO,OOO MEN NEEDED
 'It will involve the immediate ad- dition to the armed forces of the Uni ted States already provided for by law in case of war at least 500,000 men. who should, in my opinion, be chosen upon the principal of universal lia- bility to service. and also the authori-. zation of subsequent additional incre- ments of equal force so soon as they may be needed and can be handled in training. It will involve also, of course, the granting of adequate cred it's to the government, sustained, hope, so far as they can equitably be sustained by the present generation by well conceived taxation.
 q say sustained so far as may be equitable by taxation because it seems
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03

Features for today:
 Trianon: Anita Stewart iii "The More Excellent Way"
 Alcazar: George NJ. Cohen in Broad way Jones'"
 Rialto: Marguerite Fischer in "The Devils Assistant" Triangle: Irene Howley in Her Fathers Keeper"
 Strand: Ethel Clayton in Mans Woman"
 Colonial; House Peters in "The Girl of the Golden Vest"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
TN THE EPICTURESANDOUF

adapts it to the screen and introdue- himself 10 the moving picture worli. And the screen version will, without doubt. rival the original play in pop- ularity.
 The story has 10 do with a young man who spends his money on New York's great white way; gets into a lot of serious and ludicrous scrapes. and finally goes back home and takes charge of a chewing gum factory
 Broadway Jones' will be at the AL cazar all the week
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
SALUTE


  f America, thou the Thy welcome melting A thobbing As Heaven n theme
  The emblem  of Is, life thine,  Protected fall
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-04-03
MARGARITE FISCHER
 AT THE RIALTO

Margarita Fisehet in The Devils Assistant is the offering at the Ri- alto today.
 "The Devils Assistant" is dra- matte picturization of the drug evil, but with story which does not depend on the drug element for i ts interest and suspense.