The Watertown news. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1917-1919, 1917-09-03
ON THE SIDE

well we'll, Mr.. Taft, 1 am glad to
ee you out again. Hope you run for
president next time old boy. You get
ny vote again." This was heard in
Jefferson last week, and several per-
sons looking around and a few strang
ers thought that they were gazing on
the real thing. Surely that was Mr..
Taft, for had they not seen the ex-
presidents picture in the papers, on
campaign bills and the lids Of cigar
boxes? But it was not William Howard
Taft after ALL 1t was Ed Mueller, who
runs the Jefferson House, and the
joke has been pulled times without
number, and Ed certainly makes good
in the part.
Persons passing along certain part
of Main street the other day were at
tracted by strains of music from
monograph on the inside Of store.
Music of this sort is not unusual, but
in this case, just outside the screen
door was a fox terrier, the exact re-
plica Of certain plaster of paris "his
masters voice" type of dog which is
used by a certain talking machine
company in their ads. However, in this
case, the photograph which was dis
coursing grand, opera melodies did not
happen to be of the "his masters
voice" type, and it appeared as if the
plaster of paris dog had come to life
to protest. Good bye summer, good
bye, good bye" sang the lady on the
record. "Ow-Ow-o-o-o-," protested the
dog outside the screen. Hes been
trained by the other guy to come over
here and queer Sales remarked "a by
stander Maybe he's practicing for the
fair" remarked another. At last the
dog disguised perhaps at the crowd
he was drawing-let out a final
mournful yowl as the record lady hit
the last high note, and with digni6ed
trot set off across the bridge.
Now that the fly season is here, a
few words of advice to ''fy swatters"
may be timely, as the etiquette of this
pastime is something which should al
ways be observed.
Restaurant keepers should avoid
swatting flies until the customer is
served with his eats, and then said
restaurant keeper should grab hiS
trusty fly swatter and sail in-taking
care to keep as close to the customer
he can all the time he is MASKING the
insects. A few lively remarks on the
part of the restaurant man in refer
ence to fly killing records also are
very appetizing.
Bartenders should observe the same
rules, but bartender can make things
more lively by occasionally swatting
with a wet towel and making the
corpses fly about and land on the GUS
toner. The same rule in regard to a
lively conversation as to fly killing
records goes with the saloon man as
with the restaurant keeper
When seated at a table with num-
Der of persons, part of them strangers,
person finding the remains of fly
in his "Murphies" he should pro-
claim long and loud, calling the atten-
ton of all the other guests to the little
stranger. This is far better than quiet
ly ditching the cadaver and saying
nothing, inasmuch as it calls attention
to the recipient of the favor who be-
fore might have been comparatively
unknown. Nothing like blowing your
horn, for no one will do it for you Be-
sides without doubt the restaurant
cook-pardon us, we meant chef-has
a few flies on hand which he puts in
your feed on purpose
Last of all, keep on "swatting."
Never mind the holes in the screen
where two flies enter at the demise of
one by your hand. Fly swatting is a
manly sport and develops the muscles
Of the forearm and steadies the eve
and stomachs of the bystanders as well
as the operator