davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Hearing the Trump.

Agnes--I don't like to play bridge,
with Mrs. Blank. She's so deaf that
she never hears the declaration.
Gladys-Of course she doesn't. She
will never even hear Gabriers trump
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
rhe ldiots.

Gust think of tia full table d'hote
dinner for thirty cents: oysters. soup,
fish, roast duck. salad, ice-cream,
fruit, demi-tasse!" #s
where? /! +! I" 9a
81 don't now-but just think Of I'll"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Not Used 70 the. Water,

Lady (glving little advice) And
always be careful OF your associates
A boy often becomes like those he
associates with"
3 Fishmonger's boy--"Why, I've bin
with fish all me life. and can't swim
q stroke"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
what Ia Mi.sed.

Miss Peachley-Do you believe in
'co-education, Mr.. Higgins?
Mr.. Huggins-Indeed do. i shall
never forgive myself for neglecting
to take a postgraduate course at Vas
sar.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Partners h Crime.

Doctor Ito patient) Your case is q
very serious one, sir, and think a
consultation had better be held.
Patient (too sick to- care for any
thing Very well, doctor. have as
many accomplices as you like.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
conlsis tency.

s;t - sff ~ OVUosoASssSyssfsis ~ ~
rob, couldn't love him!"
why not2 XIX
"ie wears . wig! The very ideal"
Then the dears creature removed
two rats. some puffs. a coronet braid,
. pompadour and switch, and sat
down to peruse novel.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
In the Asylum.

Keeper-The man went crazy fear
ing he'd forget the combination.
Visitor-A bank-clerk, suppose?
Keeper-No, sir; an expert cocktail
mixer!
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Scale of Values.

"IIe forgets that he owes me his
life!"
That's nothing; he even forgets
that he owes me $5!"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
TUESDAY, APRIL II, 1917.
A AsIsR q oR d. !,

Las u Es0R
y naughty Citizen Got Some vary
Pertinent Advice.
"A naughty citizen once strolled into
the Supreme Court at Washington
when an argument was being heard
and took a seat In the Enclosure re-
served for lawyers. After he had been
there a few minutes an attendant
came over and asked him: Are you
q member of the bar" Il
The naughty person wasn't, but he
took out his card with a flourish and
handed It over.
The attendant received the card
gravely, carried 1t to the clerk, who
glanced at it and gave some instruc.
tions. q. s b h. sis gt.sTk4
A moment later the naughty citizen
was touched on the shoulder and ask
ed to retire, lt4i :, AZ. i.5, Il
"Why?" he asked. Il sent up my
card. It usually gives me seat in
any court in the Nland.."
Certainly" said the attendant;
"but please retire. !"
The naughty citizen did retire.
When he got out in the corridor he
fumed and fused bit. al is
aSir, I" admonished the aged Negro
at the door, who has been there for
many years, think it over. Don't do
no persiAagln. bout that cot. II you
should git In contempt Of them you
amt got nobody to appeal to but
Cod" i.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17

Mrs. Bryde Look, dearie, there's
a fly in the preserves ] made this
morning!
Bryde Poor thing! I, bet it's the
worst jam he ever got into! -Evening
Telegram.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
In Trouble.

whats the matter?"
"Just quarreled with my wife"
"What about?"
"She said that woman whom "
met was beautiful, and / agreed"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
GOOD Proof.

Mrs. Knicker-H How did you know
your husband was working down in
the ofnce?a. q, s.
Mrs. Youngbride--I telephoned. and.
Central said. Busy"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
mixer.
His Way.

Gladys Beautigirl-He kissed me at
the door, but promised not to tell.
Dolly Swift-And, of course?
Gladys Beautigirl-Oh. he repeated
it before he left!
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Can You Beat Il

Can You Beat Il?
Mabel-So you and Jack don't
speak. What's the trouble?
Marjory-We had a dreadful quar-
rel about which loved the other most.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Tho Ready Retort.

(which paper do you find has the
largest summer circulation?" inquired
the customer in the general store.
Ely paper, l guess" said the pro
prietor.
Full OF catchy matter, eh ?" Queried
the customer.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17
Definition up to Date.

Pat-An' phwat the divii is a chafin'
dish?
Mike-Whist! Ut's fryin' pan
that's got into society,""
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17

Callerls the manager In?
Office Boy What is your name.
please?
1 Caller-Just tell him it is his old
friend Bill.
/. Office Boy Then he's, gone out. 4
heard him say that il any bill came
he wasn't in.Ally Sloper.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17

Officer-This is no place to sleep.
Tramp know dat, officer. but you
cops won't put Teller on to de good
places.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1917-04-17

.1'm afraid your wife is very bad
still, James?'
''Ah, yes, Miss. But do all can.
I read her the burial service twice a
day to get her used to it!"-Pick- Me-
I'm.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23
GRANDMA NEVER LEI
HER HAIR GET GRAY
She. Kept Her Locks Dark and
Glossy, with Sage Tea
and Sulphur.

When you darken your hair with Sage
lea and Sulphur, no one can tell, be-
cause it's done SO naturally, SO evenly.
is mussy and troublesome For SO cents
you can buy at any drug store the ready
to-use preparation, improved by the addi-
ton of other ingredients, called "Wyeth's
Sage and Sulphur Compound" You just
dampen a. sponge Or soft brush with it
and draw this through your hair, taking
one small strand at a time. By morning
all gray hair disappears, and, after an
other application or two, your hair be-
comes beautifully darkened, glossy and
luxuriant
Gray, faded hair, though no disgrace,
is a sign of old age, and as we all de-
sire a youthful and attractive appear
ance, get busy at once with Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound and look years
younger. This ready-to-use preparation
is a delightful toilet requisite and not a
medicine. It is not intended for the cure,
mitigation Or prevention OF disease.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23
WoRTHEN WONDER WORKERS
The Great Nerve and Brain Food

The Great Nerve and Brain Food
Highly recommended for Nervous
Debility Nervous Prostration, Prema-
ture Decline, Drainage, Lost Vigor, Re
productive Incapacity, Paralysis and
Paralytic Tendencies, Decline Of
Strength, Premature Old Age. Loss of
Ambition Insomnia, Melancholy, Ner-
vous Dyspepsia, Kidney and Bladder
Trouble and Constipation.
These tablets will be found valuable
in the treatment of the various De-
bilitating Diseases of men and in the
most extreme asses of Nervous Pros
tration in women.
GUARANTEE-We will send six
boxes Of Worthen 3 Wonder Workers
to you for $500 and guarantee them
to give satisfa action or return the mon
ey.
Price $1.O0 box 6 boxes, So.
Sent by mail on receipt of price.
THE WORTHEN WONDER WORKER
CO., Boston Mass.
for sale by E. T. Whitehead Company
RUB MY-TISM -Antiseptic, Relieves
Rheumatism, Sprains, Neuralgia, etc.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23
CHAMBERLAIN'S TABLETS

These Tablets are intended especially
for disorders of the stomach, liver and
bowels. If you are troubled with heart
burn, indigestion or constipation they
will do you good.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23

Why look old when Mildredina Hair
pomodv will restore your gray hair to
~ natural color in few days, destroy
.ho dandruff germs, stop falling hair,
and olive new life. Free sample, 10
cents.
THE MILDRED LOUISE co.
Boston, Mass
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23

Representative in Hall
fax county. One with experience
preferred. Address Dees Marble and
Granite Works, Greenville, N. G. St
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23
No Need To Rub

L~SKF stiff sore muscles apply
oloan's Liniment to the pain
or ache, it quickly penetrates
and soothes 7vifhout rubbing.
Nneuma 5lsm, govt, lumbago, neuralgia,
its use. Cleaner and more promntlv effecy
tive than mussy plasters or ointments i
ooes not stain the skin or clog the pores.
Inc family medicine chest in thousands
OF homes has place for Sloan s Liniment.
AT all druggists, Csc. SOC. and 81. 90.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23

A gray or baldheaded man is consid-
position in an enterprising concern, he
is turned down and younger looking
man secures the job. Mildredina Hair
Remedy prevents hair falling, restores
gray hair to it's natural color. Free sam
pie, 10 cents.
THE MILDRED LOUISE co.
Boston, Mass.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1917-02-23
DIR. u. F. KEEL
successor TO Dr.. 4. L. s.iveru,o;
M o D E L 3 A E Der SHO'

J. D. Smith, Prop.
Skilled Barriers Sanitar,
Methods, Sharp Steel Best
Service
Electrical Shampoo aua
Massage Machines
ENTE..TAINNE NT WHILE 70
- WAIT
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22

The amazing activity Of Italian war"
riors in the Alps seems to continue the
tradition Caesar set when in winter
campaigns he defied the snow-clad
mountains in order to hold or to extend
the frontiers of the empire. The Caesar
who bridged the Rhine was brother
in-arms to brave Cadorna, says Phila-
delphia Public Ledger. The Ro-
man legionaries who live for us
in the pages of the Commentaries
seem to have their reincarnation in the
men who station their guns in the
eagles aerie and convey their wound
ed over wire ropes across yawning
abysses. Who said Italians were de-
generate scions Of the. ancient heroic
stock? The war has shown the world
no sturdier warriors than these. With
the forces of nature herself arrayed
against them, they have removed noun
tainS, and in their prowess it is as
though Caesar himself were on earth
again to defy and finally subjugate the
German war lord who has assumed
and disgraced the name the great Ital-
ian wore who ruled the world.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
Clock DiaIs for Summer.

Instead Of moving the hands Of the
clock forward and back at the time OF
changing from standard to summer
time, and vice versa, plan recently
proposed in England is to have clocks
provided with an adjustable dial. The
circular disk of the dial would be put
in place by screws in curved slots, and
the Cial would be rotated through one
hour space at the time Of making the
change, leaving the hands untouched.
1t is claimed that this plan is especial
ly desirable in the case Of striking.
clocks, the hands of which cannot be
moved back. The position of the dial
would also indicate whether the clock
was keeping summer or normal time
The objection to chis procedure, OF
course, IS that practically everybody
tells time from position Of the hands
without any attention to the figures On
the dial.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
MESSAGES FLOAT FOR YEARS
United States photographic Office
Tells of Finding Of Bottle Set
Adrift In 1914.

Several instances Of messages in
bottles having floated about the Pa
cifc for years before being recovered
have been announced by the United
States photographic office.
A bottle was set adrift by Capt. S.
Nagahue of the Tamba Maru, Japan
ese, August II, 1915, 900 miles east of
Kamchatka, was recovered May 10 last
near Moelips, Wash. Another bottle,
set adrift in December, 1914, off Cape
Corrientes, Mex, was found February
90 last 24O miles north Of Christmas
island, in the latitude Of the Hawaiian
islands.
A third bottle, tossed from the
schooner W. II. Marsten by Capt. W.
Wann February IA, 1915, 2,04O miles
east Of Chile and 66O miles south Of
Easter island, was picked up January
81 last four miles south of Wanganui
island, New Zealand.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
Solves Problem of Stray Whale.

Monterey, CAL, has solved the ques-
ton of what to do with stray whale
that is washed up on shore. After dis
posing of the flesh and oil to refinery,
the bones may be mounted on shore
and kept as a permanent natural his
tory exhibit.
That is what the city officials did
with whale which was washed ashore
there, according to the Popular
Science Monthly. It waS welcomed
with open arms ard the bones were
saved as an educational feature for the
benefit Of the school children Of the
city and for interested adults.
Since there was no building avail
able large enough to accommodate it,
it was set up in an open lot and fenced
IN
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
Steel Shortage in Australia.

Stocks of steel plates, tin plate and
galvanized iron are low throughout
Australia, and the demand is acute, ac-
cording to consular advices from Mel
bourne. There is at present very
little prospect of outside relief, and
an effort is being made to manufacture
these goods in Australia. Recently
representatives of company in New
castle and one in Melbourne were sent
to the United States to purchase
machinery for making steel. The high
frelghts and shortage Of supply offer
o great incentive to the manufacture
Of lines that would have been consid-
cred impossible to produce before the
war.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
eAI Sc SCHOOL OF HUMoR.
The women who are running frc

The women who are running from
one place of registration to another,
rather than reveal their ages to the
gossiping neighborhood in which they
live. have been driven to it by the guf-
flaws of those fun lovers who regard
gray hairs and all other signs of wis
dom and worldly experience as fit SUBJ
jects for ridicule. The great heehaw
school Of humor loves shining mark,
and INDUCES in uproarious mirth over
everything that should not be laughed
at, says New York Herald. In the
midst of the disciples of this witless
cult it is funny to be married, and
still funnier to remain single. 1t is
funny to be fat and equally funny to
be lean. A long-haired man is quite
rs funny as one who is bald. The
mother-in-law, who in nine cases out
of ten is the real self-sacrificing moth
er of her brood of grandchildren, is
quite as ludicrous in the eyes Of those
jocose ones as the sold maid," who
more than earns her keep by doing the
marketing and relieving her married
sister of nursery cares. Our national
sense of humor is in woeful need Of
q reformer who will teach us the differ
ence between sacred things and the
various forms Of vulgarity and pre-
tense that should be laughed out Of
existence.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
SHRINE OF THE "HOLY COAT"
Cathedral at Treves Contains One OF
Most jealousy Guarded Relics
of the Roman Church.

At intervals of many years the old
Prince Bishopric Of Treves, wakens out
of it's half-slumbering condition and
becomes the center of great pilgrim
age. Besides it's numerous Roman re-
mains. this quiet old town, claiming to
be 1900 years older than Rome, is the
shrine of the "Holy Coat" one of the
most jealousy guarded relics in the
possession of the Roman church.
The citizens of Treves are very
proud of this seamless garment, and
they have given it prominent place
on their coat-of-arms, says the Dundee
Advertiser. It was not until 1196 that
the "Holy Coat" was placed over the
high altar, but it was not exposed to
the public gaze for some three hundred
years afterward. 1t was Kept in Sc
cret place Of the cathedral known only
to a few, and there were many who
doubted it's existence. A guide book
of 1914 says:
"The existence Of the relic at pres
ent is rather doubtful-at least, 1t is
not visible. The attendants Of the
church say it is walled up" All doubts
were removed in 1914, when Archbish-
op Arnold announced q centenary
jubilee, at which it was exhibited to a
million and half of pilgrims from all
parts of the world. The coat is a loose
garment with wide sleeves, very SIM
pie in form, of coarse material, dark
brown In color, probably as the result
Of age, and entirely without seam OF.
decoration. ,t~.,:'
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
FRENCH SCOUT THANKS U. S.

An amazing letter from one of Les
Eclaireurs de France, or French Boy
Scouts, fighting in the trenches, has
been received by New York Scout,
Sidney Polacsek, of sol East One Hun
dred and Fortieth street. AS trans.
lated it is as follows:
"Dear Friends of France:
ct an. cousin to NJ. Oubringer Mar
Gel. AS he receives q great many let
ters from America and cannot answer
them all, he has given me your adj
dress.
81 am q young (poilu) soldier OF
France of the class of 1917, conse-
quently I am hardly twenty years old
I am in the trenches about 40 meters
from the (Boches) Germans. Because
am so young I am often lonely and
even more so because I have only an
aunt left in France. My parents are
civil prisoners in Germany, and per-
haps they are dead, for / have heard
no news of them since September
1914. I am here to avenge them a.
will avenge them.
"It is with pleasure that we have
learned in France that America has
ioined the side Of the allies to fight
the savage Teutons. so I assure you
that victory is certain for the allies
who are struggling for human civiliza,
ton. Long live America! and long
live France!
"From one who would like q com
.panion to dispel his sorrow, am your
humble servant,
"MAXIME COUQUERET."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
The United States is short Of beef

The United States Is short Of beef
and long on fish. The people Of this
country eat less sea food than those
of any other nation which has avail
able supplies so great as ours. The
problem is to save the beef for ship
ment across the ocean and to consume
here the fish which cannot be econom-
ically shipped. The country must con-
serve wheat, too, and eat instead such
grains as cannot be sent to the
trenches.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
AMONG THE SCOUTS.

Charity begins at home; also patriot
ism. The Troop 8 Boy Scouts Of Lyn'
brook, N. z, have recognized the fact
that there is work right at hand, and
they have offered to care for Civic
park, cutting the grass and ralling the
walks.
There is a limit to boys endurance
even though ne is trained Scout. He
must have time to eat, ITO sleep, tt
play. N.nety-nine times out of hun
dred, though, the Scout will run th:
scoutmaster off his legs.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
THE MEANING OF SCOUTING

A Veteran Scout, going lone highway,
VIII come in the evening, cold and gray
To a chasm vast and deep and wide,
The old scout will cross In the twilight
dim.
The sullen stream holds no fears for him:
But he'll turn when safe on the other
side
And build a bridge to span the tide.
veteran Scout" says pilgrim near,
!"You are wasting your strength with
building here;
Your tourney will end with the ending
day,
You never again will pass this way.
Why build you this bridge with time so
dear?"
The builder will lift his old gray head.
He will point DER the trail where his
journey led =,
he will say,
.oTbera followeth after me today
A tenderfoot scout who must pass this
way.
This gulf that has been as naught to me
To a fair-haired youth may pitfall De;
He, too. must cross in the twilight DIM
The Boy Scout movement has built Tor
me,
And I am building this bridge for him. :"
W. G. Quaif.
The Boy Scout movement means
honorable citizenship, character and
efficiency. It means men, physically
strong, mentally awake and morally
straight. This is the fundamental need
of our country today. The whole move
ment is much broader than the concep-
ton some have of it. 1t is natures
way Of bringing about the things that
the church, home and school are striV-
ing Tor.
The Boy Scout movement is not DOM
mated by class spirit, and 1t IS not
mere boys club. 1t has no barriers
of cast, wealth and sect, and because
Of its democratic spirit 1t is here to-
stay. It is not fad and 1t Is not an
accident. Owing to the intrinsic merits
Of the movement, it is bound to live.
First, the boy likes it. 1t appeals
to his manhood and to his sense of ro-
nance and adventure; it gives him self
respect and respect Of others; 1t is
challenge to the sturdy elements of his
character which he cannot reject.
Second it is school of training and
development he cannot receive other
wise. There is an undeniable discip-
line in it which the boy needs. 1t
trains his sense of honor and con-
sciousness for service. In being Boy
Scout he will be a better boy and
better man.
The movement is the keynote to
true American preparedness, and is
worth the emulation Of every man and
woman in the United States; for every
boys home training is strengthened by
the scout organization.
The bird leaves its nest before 1t
can fly; the cub must leave its den in
order to become the king Of the jun
giles, so must the boy mingle with his
fellows, under proper leadership, be
fore he can develop the strongest
character. 1t is Boy Scouts business
to help to save; but it may be added
that if the need should arise, the train
ing a Boy Scout receives will help
him when he is man to be good
defender of the country and one who
will be 100 per cent physically strong
and mentally awake.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22

Now We are advised that we mustn't
use any more starch on our Shirts
utilizing it rather for blanc mango and
other so-called food products, and we
have written our washerwoman.asking
if this oughtn't to apply also to our
union suits, feeling that possibly an ap-
peal on broad patriotic grounds may
have some weight with her.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22

Like a good many business men,
Uncle Sam is protecting his borrowings
the bonds issued and sold to his own
people-by lending at the same rate
of interest to his allies. And, to COM
plete the endless chain, the money
loaned to the allies is being largely eX'
pended in this country, so our own
people will get the benefit from it.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22

We have not worried about the mini
mum price theory so far, being conf
dent that old Max will always get oui
number and the Mini will remain dis.
tant while Max is around.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22
CITATION
State of South Carolina Court of
County of Edgeield. ! G ommon
Pleas.

County of Edgeheld. Z ommon
Pleas.
w. NJ. Rowland. Plaintiff, VS.. Lucy
Philpot, Defendant.
Notice to Creditors TO file and
prove claims.
All persons having claims against
the Estate of CHARITY Phiipot, Jr.,
will please take notice that they are
required by Order of Court in above
cause to file aud prove'same before
me on or before the lst day of
October next, (l9l7), or their claims
will be forever barred thereafter as
provided in said Decree, as to any
and all funds now in my hands as
Master in re the above stated cause.
J. Fl. Cantelou,
Master for Edgeield County.
Dated July Is, 1917.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1917-08-22

Not the least of our contribution to
the allies to excite resnnctful atten-
ton abroad was the consignment OF
the great American army mule. On
all sides was heard the French equiva-
lent Of the wish that he would have
more power to his kick on the field.