The Washington herald., 1917-10-24
CHASING EGOEs
~ DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer

I'VE hear a great deal about mar
riage. being a failure and the fire.
quency of divorces" said the wom-
an philosopher, but when you sit
down calmly and contemplate the
miracle that, has to be wrought In
can adjust themselves to each other
SO that they can live together In
comparative harmony. the wonder is
that any marriage is success and
that divorce isn't universal.
THE reason why nearly all mar
riages are the marriages Of the
young Is because It is only the young
and Ignorant who have foolhardy
courage to believe that man and
woman with different strains OF blood
In their veins, who have been brought
up in q different environment, who
have been bred to different habits,
customs, and ways of looking at
things, who have different tastes ana
different standards. can have magic
formula pronounced by a preacher
over them In a church and be really
made one and go home and live In
peace ever after.
Those Of US who are older know
better, and that's why very few peo-
pie over forty years old have the
courage to try the matrimonial ex-
pertinent. We know that IL Is as
hard for the leopard to change MS
spots as 1t is for US to get away
from our family ideals or alter the
custom that we have followed all our
lives. OF course most Of US do man
age to achieve the transformation to
some extent, at least, but no one can
deny that it is an unpleasant pro-
cess, full OF pickering. misunder-
standings and hurt feelings on both
sides.
Particularly on the brides part.
Most women salt down the first two
or three years of their marriage In
brine and never think of them with
out a gulp in their throats.
For you see that attraction on op-
posites that draws a man and a
woman together in the first place and
makes them want to- marry each
other, works the opposite way as
soon as they are married and makes
them antagonize each other at every
turn.
"The cold. hard, stern man. for in
stance, has a fatal fascination for
the warm hearted, loving woman TO
whom affection is the very breath OF
life. She marries him. and dies OF
starvation for the tenderness il Is
not in his nature to give. Or the
cultivated scholarly man is irresfs-
tibly drawn to the little doll baby
girl who has nothing on her mind
except the latest thing in hats. He
marries her, and spends the balance
.a1 fz1a nd
perishlng for intellectual companion
ship.
OR the girl who is nothing but an
animated fashion plate, and who
cares for nothing but the gaiety OF
restaurants. theaters and parties.
marries a man whose heart and soul
and life are bound up in some upiift
work. Or the man whose dream Of
domestic bliss is a suburban home
with a perambulator on the front
porch and a hot dinner awaiting the
6:i5, deliberately picks out a profess
sional woman for a wife who Is more
unalterably welded to her own latch
key and pocket book than she ever
will be TO any man, and to whom all
babies are brats.
"Old Dame Nature. who is the most
constituencies matchmaker on earth,
and whose activities are carried on for
the good of the race and not the
happiness OF the individuals con-
cerned. precipitates luckless couples
into such incongruous marriages every
day. You would say every one OF
them was bound to end in divorce.
But they don't. Somehow they rub
along. though the attrition gives them
the worn and weary aspect that
makes married people generally look
about ten years older than their bach
clor friends, male and female.
And even when there is no great
insurmountable obstacle. like a Diff
ference in brain or moral outlook.
between a husband and wife. there
are thousands OF little differences
that have to he smoothed out and
that make the first few years OF
married life a hard road to travel.
Now. in my own case. / married ono
of the dearest, most lovable. most
generous men the good God ever
made. but the first ten years of our
varied life was fun OF friction be-
tween US and with his family. be-
cause he and I had been reared in