The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-08-09
Tales of the Town

o WELL, sir, Pm the surprisdest man
e | reckon, in New Canaan.
J. The wonder is, ! know enough
i To come in when it's rainin'.
. | looked into the window
OF the postoffice today,
t And there | saw a poster
$ That was pointin' right my way
With his long accusin' finger
And his fierce accusin' eyes,
) That seemed to turn sspd follow you
: In way that | despise,
Then ! began to wonder who
That artist had in mind,
And what he was accusin' Of,
AS if he couldn't find
A soul to stop and hear to him.
| says, "Pll bet my hat
There's some mean cuss in this here
town
That he's a-pointin' at,
"Who never seen his dooty clear,
Ner done his darndest yet.
But Uncle Sam'll tend to him.
And mighty guick,-you betl"
kept figurin' for who
That miscreant could be,
And finally / got afraid
That mebbe it was me.
You can bet it is hot day when
the ice man grumbles about the
weather.
Next to almony, the average man
hates to pay poll tax worse than any
other obligation. :
"This is no pleasure trip Pm on to-
day" said farmer Saturday. 81
came to town on business. l was out
Of tobacco"
Maybe the French veterinarians :
Who found a way to muffle the bray
If the army mule could do something :
or the American motor cycle. :
About the only difference between :
icing in the army and editing news
'aper is that you are sure of three :
quare meals day in the army.
An Irish soldier saw a shell com :
ng and made a bow. The shell missed :
i'm and took off the head of the man :
ehind him. "Sure," said Pat, eve :
ever knew man to lose anything :
y being polite. :
= =
The average woman can find a GER :
ain number in the list of drafted :
umbers quicker than man can. She =
as the habit of going through lists =
f figures such as $2.9S, so, 498, .39,
tc.
newspaper story quotes a distill-
r as saying that whisky may soon =
stail at % cents drink. Even then =
good many men who cant af- =
'rd" comforts for the family will find =
lie money for it. =
There should be law against serv- =
& one person with two halves of =
fferent cantaloupes. No matter how =
'od the second half is, it never tastes ::
good as the one you have just =
It used to. And no two specimens =
ste alike. =
The Sunday school teacher had ex- =
aimed the familiar Bible story at =
lgth, and then asked Tommy if =
expected to be among the sheep =
among the goats. 81 Dunno" said =
mmy, doubtfully. FLOWS Teller =
tell when his ma calls him lamb =
his pa says he's a COMPOUNDED =
2" =
visitor to Ireland was bidding =
ewell, and said to an attendant: =
'od-by, Pat" Good-by. yer honor =
y God bless you, and may every =
r of our head be candle to light =
II soul to gloryw "Well, Pat" he =
|, showing him bald pate, "when =
t time comes there won't be much =
a torchlight procession =
-
n elderly colored woman put her =
t over her head during a rain. =
m she was stopped by younger =
red woman, who said: "Put your =
t down, auntie, you're showing =
r anatomy" 81 don't care if l =
replied Auntie, "I's had this yer =
tomy SO years and this hat is =
/ new" =
e q =
18th man on second and tue out, =
Hans Wagner dropped thrown =
in Wednesdays game, and the =
ties lost. Old Honus probably =
Id not be blamed, however, as it =
dn't have made much difference =
he held the ball. The Pirates are =
st place and more than one hun =
points behind the next COMPETE =
4 { =
country church, not long since, =