Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-06-08
CULTIVATE TACT
BY DOROTHY DIX
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman
Writer

IF ! were running a girls school
should make the cultivation OF tact
the leading study in the curriculum
It's all well and good for woman 70
have all the higher culture in books
that she can get She will need 1t all in
her business. but a knowledge Of the
differential calculus isn't In 1t in i'm
portance with the knowledge OF how
to manage the different pecularities
of ones family, and an ability to read
the stars is a poor thing when com
pared with an ability to read the
moods and lenses at sight Of the peo'
pie with whom one has to live.
| should begin jnstructing girl
babies in the cradle-for you can't be-
gin too early-in the gentle art Of get
ting what they want by smiling for II
instead Of bowling for it. Then
should teach them how to walk around
the angles in life instead Of humping
into them, and when they got into the
kindergarten class l should impress
upon their tender memories the folly
Of beating and bruis1ng themselves
knocking up against a stone wall, that
they can never hammer down, when
they might Just rs well climb grace
fully over it.
I should follow this up with classes
on How to do Things Without Giving
Offense," and lone Hundred Differen:
Ways of Getting There Without Tread
ing on Other Peoples Toes" and no
girl would 60 out Of my school with a
blue ribboned diploma until she had
learned to say, mo" without making
you feel as If she had thrown a brick
at you, and how to talk without put
ting her foot in her mouth, as an Irish
man might observe.
A man who has no tact is a poor
laundering bull in the worlds china
shop, but a woman without tact 10
mistake In creation. All Of us know
and dread her, for she is the person
referred to in the Bible where 1t says,
when ] would do good, evil is ever
present with me-"
She does harm where she means the
best. She hurts where she wishes to
Boothe. She makes enemies where
she desires friends, and with the best
intention in the world she can do more
harm In q minute than malice can
Invent In q year.
She Is foredoomed to blunder. In.
yite her to come to see you and she
picks out the time to arrive, un'
announced, when the cook has left,
and the children are down with the
measles, and your husband has q
crouch. Ask her to dinner, and she
manages to offend half the guests and
throw q wet blanket over the gaiety
Of the occasion.
She IL the kind OF friend who, with.
out wishing to offend you, tells you
that you carry your age well, and that
nobody would know that you were
forty-fiye unless they had grown up
with you as she did She remarks how
clever you were 20 put the table over
the worn spot In the carpet, and in the
same breath that she praises your new
diamond ring, says that she always
did think that small inexpensive
stones were In better taste than costly
ones. l. - -:a-.. = - 90 49,
II there is a sore place in your heart
she touches it with unerring aim, and
in any company you may bet dollars
to 6oughnnts that she will haul In
every forbidden topic, and discuss pri.
son freedom with the mother Of a
Black sheep, and the iniquity Of di.
yorce with q woman Just back from
Reno. She IL always, and everywhere,
a social blunderbus that IL liable to 60
off at any minute. and that Is Just as
likely to annihilate friends as foes.
Now you can't prevent the woman
without tact from being born. She is
one of natures blunders, but the pro-
vince Of civilization is to correct the
blunders Of nature, and that is why
every girl should be given a thorough
course In diplomacy before she is
turned loose on the world to soothe it |
or irritate Il.
Just think what the possession OF
tact means for the woman herself. It |
is the philosophers stone that enables
her to make friends, hold her bus.
bands affections, manage her house
hold, keep her servants, and run her
little world without friction or trouble. !
No woman ever yet ruled by force
Every woman may rule by the use Of
q little diplomacy, and there is nothing
In the world more pitiful than to see
the havoc so many, make Of their do
mestic affairs just because they refuge
to recognize this palpable fact.