Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1917-06-08
ALL CLOCKS FAULT
UNCLE HI NOT TO BE BLAMED
FOR THE TROUBLE.
His Housewarming System Was All
Right, but Hard Luck Took a
Hand in the Game and Re-
suits Were Disastrous.

here while your husband was travel
ing and his wife was nursing her
grandchildren" said Mrs. Green set
Ting herself for a chat. Il expect ne
enjoyed his visit"
"Most of the time," answered Mrs.
Riddle. sHe was as pleased as boy
IN get here, and for a while he talked
as if he'd like to live in town, Where
there were so many clever Inventions
n loo,, at. He's quite an inventor him.
self YOU know, and has all sorts OF
automatic arrangements IN MS mouse
and harm. Even here he rugged track
down cellar to run the coal and ashes
hack and forth, and fixed the clothes,
lines a new way the first week. ano
was kind of vexed because didn't care
for a trapdoor in the Kitchen anu
dumb-waiter to the cellar.
"Then he went into brown stud!
over something, and took to staylh;
down cellar most of the time. One da!
7 missed an old alarm clock iron
Henry's den, the meat grinder, sprlns
from the laundry door, the can opener
and the hinges from the salt box. JUST
then Uncle Hiram ran up the cellm
stairs all mussed and SOoty, but Slnli
ing. and insisted that | must go rl$h'
down and see his invention for open
ing the furnace drafts in the morning
II was clever, too, with wires and pul
leys overhead, and piece of broom
handle fitted on the clock wlnder, 81
that when the alarm went OH II
dropped weight-my meat grinder,
mind you land somehow opened th'
drafts, so that the house would d
warm when we got up. uncle "a'
tickled to death with it, and of course
I admitted it; but | warned MIN moi
to set his alarm too early, for our fur
mace has a tremendous draft.
at worked first rate for few days
but the old clock got to acting up
sometimes it wouldn't go off, and the1
again a little jar would start the alarm
while uncle was setting it, so he hac
to come upstairs on tiptoe. The nigh
before Henry came there was a cole
snap and q high wind, and we went tt
bed early, for he was to arrive abou
six in the morning. About two WOKE
I'D with a start. 1t was so hot l coult
hardly breathe, and there was a strong
scorched smell. Then heard racket
like pots and pans falling downstairs
"'Burglars, or fire, or both? says tt
myself, all bewildered; and made FOL
the upstairs telephone and called W
the emergency number before l wa:
awake enough to know whether l want
ed the0poiice or the fire department
1t seems they understood l wanted
both. Uncle Hiram's room was empty
and I began to think that maybe It
been hasty about telephoning. go'
Henry's old revolver and went down
cautiously. The kitchen gas was burn
ing, and the cellar door was open, ant
the cooking things that hang in the Gel
larway were strewn all the way doWl
the stairs. Someone was down cellar
banging around and saying things, ano
I thought uncle might be struggling
with a burglar. So I called, 'Surren
der or I'll shootv But Uncle Hiran
called back:
Don't shoot, Maria, it's only me!
Get me pail of water, quick!
"You see, his alarm had gone Off too
ri
room in the house, he had walked W
and rushed down to see about 1t. Be
fore I could get the water, two police
men and the fire engines came and o
good big crowd, too. The house wasn't
on fire, but so near it there was no fun
in it: and the firemen said things thai
hurt uncle's feelings, and so did Henry
when he came.
Poor Uncle Hiram wasn't the same
after that. He hardly noticed the ma
chinery blueprints Henry brought
home, which showed he was low in his
mind, and he didn't even read the sclen-
tific journals. He lost his appetite and
began to criticize the food. About blue
bird time, when he heard that Aunt
Julia was ready to come home, her
grandchildren being through with the
measles, he insisted on going back to
get things ready for her. l was wor-
ried for fear he was going to be SICK;
but Aunt Julia writes that he's invent
ing a new pillow and scarecrow with
a monograph arrangement; so I guess
he's all right again."-Youth's Com
panion.