The Nevada County picayune., 1917-06-28

 in the Padded Cells. He came home in the Sabbath twi- light walking on his Ankles and bab- bling about Dandy Drive for the Long Hole.
 Regarding the other 37S Strokes he was discreetly silent.
 He told his Wife there was more in it than one would suppose. The Eas- fer the Swat, the greater the Carry. And he had made one Hole in seven.
 Then he took a Parasol out of the Jar, md illustrated the famous Long Drive with Moving Pictures, Tableaux, | Delsarte, and some newly acquired | technical Drivel, which he mouthed with childish Delight. | Now we see him buying Clubs, al- 1 though he refers to them as Sticks proving that he is still groping Neo- phyte.
 He thinks that shorter Shaft and more of a Lay-Back will enable him to 1 drive a Mile. The Gooseneck Putter will save him two on every Hole. Also, will the Man please show him an Iron l guaranteed to reach all the way down i to the Dimple and plunk it right in the Eye.
 1 Then all of the new Implements laid out at Home and Wife sitting back, listening to a Lecture as to what will be pulled off on the succeeding Day of Rest.
 She had promised at the Altar to Love, Honor and Listen. Still it was l trying to see the oncc-loved Adult ca vorting on the verge of Dementia and know that she was Helpless.
 He salllcd forth with those going to Early Mass. and returned at the Yes per Hour caked with Dust and ninety eight per cent Loeoed.
 It seems that at the sixth hole on the Last Round where you cross the CTick twice, he fell down and broke both Arms and both Legs. So he tore I'D the Medal Score. gave all the Clubs 70 1 the Caddy. and, standing on the grass Summit of the tall Ridge guarding the Bunker. he had lifted grimy Mitt and uttered the Vow of Pronunciation.
 In other words, he was Through.
 The senile Wrecks and the prattling Juveniles. for whom the Game was in vented, could have his Part of it for all time.
 Never again would he walk on the Grass or cook his Arms or dribble Sand all over the dark and trampled Ground where countless Good Men had suffer ed.
 No, Indeed.
 So next day he bought all the Para phernalia known to the Trade, and his name was put up at q Club.
 It was one of those regular and sure enough Clubs. High East Winds pre- vailed in the LockerKoom Every Member was q Chick Evans when he l got back to the nineteenth hole.
 Mr. Pallzey now began Co regard the l Ancient and Honorable Pastime as a compendium of Sacraments, Ordeals l Incantations, and Ceremonial Formali- ties.
 He resigned himself into the Gus tody of a professional Laddie with l large staring Knuckles and Dialect 1 that dimmed all tho memories of Lau- 1 der.
 1 Tn short time the Form was clas- sy, but the Score had to be taken out and buried after every Round. Mir. Pallzey saw that this Mundane l Existence was not all Pleasure. He 1 had found his Life-Work. The Lode l Star of his declining Years would be an even one hundred for the eighteen Flags.
 Wife would see him out in the Street. feeling his way along. totally unmindful of his Whereabouts. She would lead him into the Shade, snap her Fingers. call his Name, and gradu- ally pull him out of the Trance.
 He would look at her with q filmy Gaze and smile faintly, as if partly re- membering, and then say: Don't for get to follow through. Keep the head down-tight with the left-no hunch- ing-piyot on the hips. For Cuppy Lie take the Nib. If running up with the digger, drop her dead. The full St. Andrews should not be thrown in- to a Putt. Never up, never in. Lift the flag Take n pick-out from Casual Water but play the Roadways. To overcome Slicing or Pulling, advance the right or left Foot. Schatting and Socketing may be avoided by adding a hook with a top-Spin or vice verSa- The Man says there are tNenty-SiX Things to he remembered in Driving from the Tee. One is Stance. l for get the other twenty-five"
 Then the Partner of his Joys and Sorrows, with the account on the Deb it Side, would shoot twenty Grains of Aspirin into him and plant him in the Flax.
 Next morning at Breakfast he would break 1t to her that the Brassie had de- veloped too much of Whip and he 1 had decided to try a forty-nch Shaft.
 They had Seasoned Hickory for proolyF,ct p,YpEerc for I11nChpop and