The Washington herald., 1917-12-16
Our Population has Increased.


who wanted to see the sights Of the
National Capital. He believed in kill
ing two birds with one stone.
He brought a suitcase filled with
eight quarts of frewater over with
him. 1t was his intention to make
the trip pay for itself.
He figured that a profit of two bits
on a bottle would do very nicely. He
got rid of most of the load. Folks
here have acquired a thirst since No
vember first.
Detective Howes nabbed the man
and the suitcase in a lunchrNom in
d street. The poor fellow was so
shocked. that he couldn't sleep all
, night.
Il see you are a business man."
said the court to Charlie Powers.
and you combine business with your
pleasure"
But, judge" persisted the liquor
seller, II haven't seen the Capitol or
the Library yet"
WELL" said the court. Il don't
think you will see them for a while
yet. either. Pay a fine Of 500 and go
to Jail for four months also and serve
another four months in default OF the
$780,"
One Drink $50.
"Jedge. All met a man in de park
wot owed me 45 cents. All asked him
for 1t en- he said he didn't hab it. He
said 70 me ter tex a drink Instead.
All drank six fingers OBJ whiskey.
Yes. but what did you annoy the
girls on the street for?' the court
asked Amos Prince.
id onaTaFpn
Amos. DE gals all like me en- All
like all de gals"
Amos was tickling some girls under
the chin when Policeman Hill walked
up and nabbcd him. Ordinarily the
girls didn't mind being tickled, but
on this occasion they were particular
about who did it.
He had Cancelled his debt for drink
Of bad whiskCy. If the cop hadn't
picked up Amos when he did the poor
fellow would have had a hatpin jabbed
in him.
Fifty dollars is quite price to pay
for six fingers Of whiskey. but what
can a guy like Amos do abOue 1t?
ZiE-E-1-s
ANDY Carter snores when he sleeps.
He keeps his mouth wide open. He
makes a noise like Il circular saw
going through a knot.
One night last week, George Nc
Lane. who has a room next to Andy
followed to him and asked him for
the love of Mike to let up on the
noise.
OF course Andy being in the arms
of Morpheus didn't hear him. The
way he was sleeping he couldn't have
heard Gabriel blow his horn.
George followed a few more times.
He went to Andy's room and looked
in. Then he went back to his room
and did some thinking.
A couple of minutes later he came
back with a piece Of absorbent cotton
soaked in turpentine. He stuffed it
in Andy's mouth.
Sounds like a man drowning fol-
lowed. George laughed until he al
most broke rib. Andy heard it and
guessed what was up.
A minute later George was leaning
up against the wall minus three teeth.
Andy was by his side waiting to give
him another dose.
In court George was reluctant
about prosecuting Andy. The two
having patched up their differences
and the court took Andys personal
bond to behave himself.
An Expensive Accommodation.
"Jedge. some frens' OBJ mine had
dare tongues hangin' out 70 a drink.
All had two half pints in nah pocket
en- All had mercy on dere suffering"
But didn't you know it was against
the law to sell anybody whiskey"
the court asked John Evans.
But Jedge. listen" interposed John,
"Ah didn't sell it fo' no profit. All
only charged 'em % cents a drink-de
same price dey used to sell it TO in dc
barroOms.
Evans was nabbed by Sergt. Bean.
He was dishing out some fighting
whiskey" to his friends in a/hotel.
He actually sold some right in front
of Sergt. Bean.
OF course Eveans didn't know that
the man in plain clothes was a cop.
But that didn't help him any.
You were very liberal with your
friends" the court told Evans.
charging them the same price they
do in Baltimore.
Il am thinking just now that these
railroads will soon declare an extra
dividend made possible by people
travelling to Baltimore to get whiskey.
Pay a fine of $500 and go TO Jail for
30 days"
A New One.
Who ever heard of a man with the
nerve to sit right by a fire these
cold nights and let it go out because
he was took lazy to put some wood
on it?
That s what Charlie Morton's S
wife says about him. And Charlie
couldn't prove that she was wrong
either.
Thursday night wifey went out
visiting. She left Charlie in the par
lor with explicit instructions about
the fire.
She was gone two hours. When
she returned the fire had got up and
gone visiting too. Charlie was sitting
| where she left him shivering.
Indignant. she UDbraided him