The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1917-07-19

sent commission OF her
eminent men to our shores to tell us
the story of her woes and tribula-
tions.
Among the places visited by this
commission was the capital of our
own fair state, and as was very proper
and commendable, they were rendered
a public reception. Unfortunately
bunch of sizzling sissies with which
the Sanity City is salivated, usurped
the management Of this function and
decided that it should be a strictly
formal affair" and in order to be adj
mitted the guests must array them
selves in the conventional ,garb Of
swelldom, silk hats and swallow tailed
coats.
Louis w. Hill, head of the greatest
railroad system in Christendom, per-
sonal friend and chum Of Albert, Bel
GUMS warrior king, who has donat-
ed most literally to Belgium's cause;
titular chief of corporation that has
donated more than a million to the
same cause, was informed by the tin
horn aristocrats that were mishandl-
ing the affair, that they would be glad
to have him present, but knowing his
democratic proclivitfes and contempt
of shoddyism, they also sent word that
unless he arrayed himself in the glad
rags of upper tendon he could not re-
cep. at their little reception.
L. w. Hill informed them that he
did not own a silk hat, and owing to
the high cost of living, he could not
afford to buy one at the present time,
that he would not know how to put
one on if he had one, and so he re-
manned at home. But Mr.. Hill got
most gloriously even; he went out and
bought eight plug hats and gave them
to eight policemen, and eight cops,
having the necessary wardrobe and
credentials, were admitted to the
shoddy shindig.
This constitutes the grimmest hui
INJURIOUS incident since the days that
Sampson went on a rampage and
wrung the necks of three score Phil
listines, stripped them Of their Sun
day garments and turned them over to
their relatives in payment of a wager
that they had won from him in I'M
sportsmanlike conduct.
The reception was success, every
one was properly arrayed in the uni
form of aristocracy, even down to
Louie's eight policemen.
This is no diatribe against social
customs, no spleenic seattle of men
who wear full dress on proper occa-
sions.~ We recognize the inalienable
right of any man to wear a decolette
vest, a coat with the front skirts lack
ing and to cover his brain thatch with
a silk tile whenever and wherever he
feels like it, but in these stern times
it is we'll to bear in mind that it is not
the chappies who sleep till noon, eat
their dinner at six o'clock and who
make attendance at social functions
in bang-tail apparel who have accom-
plished anything for the benefit OF
themselves, their country or humanity
and that fighters who win battles are
never uniformed in full dress.
There are over fifty thousand words
in the rich vocabulary Of our mother
tongue. Linguistic sharks inform u;
that these words can be formed int
ten billion different phrases, eacl
phrase expressing an idea, but in al
this multitudinous of thought produc
ing material, only one phrase can b.
! formed properly expressing the feel
ings of the multitude Of the sensible
of the sycophantic snobbery tina
makes full dress a condition prece
dent for attending a patriotic recep
ton and that is:
DAMMIT!
Frank Eddy in the Sank Cente
Herald.