Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-10-02
PATSY KILDARE
THE OUTLAW
The Shape of the Earth
By JUDD MORTIMER LEWIS

7 AM using up most OF my time thinking
L about how 1 am going to be an actress
Friday night. When had made the coffee
this morning and Topped the pancakes and
drank some milk and ate some bread and
butter I went and took a swim. / shall
take one every day now. for an actress
ought always to be good and clean. Then
went to school, getting there before any
one else and sitting on the walk until the
other kids began TO come. After that Rowdy
and I walked around among them, but none
OF them started anything or even opened
their faces.
was looking for the little foreign girl and
when l saw her went over intending to
borrow my shoes to wear Friday night, but
you ought to see the way they look They
are all busted at the toes and half the but
tons are Off, so they are Of no use to a real
actress like me.
Miss Willie my teacher, has never asked
me what my father said when | told him
that she said he was splendid. think she
must have stopped chasing my father and is
chasing the wood merchant now as fast as
she can 60 l was thinking of that when
went out into the hall TO get a drink Of
water Then. as I had my lessons I stood
by the door of one of the other rooms where
the big kids are and was just in time to
hear the teacher telling the kids that the
earth is round like a ball or an orange.
What do you know about that?
/ could feel my ears sticking straight up
when ] heard her say that, and | had a
notion to go and tell the principal about It.
Then ! remembered that none OF the kids
in that room was a friend OF mine so
thought 1t would be a good joke TO let them
believe the earth is round. Some time they
Will make monkeys Of themselves before
people and they win have II coming to them
for they ought to have more sense than to
believe such stuff. I went back TO my seat
and laughed behind my book at the way the
teacher was fooling the kids in the other
room. Even Peanuts Feeney would know
better than TO believe that the earth Is
round and hardly anybody has less sense
than Peanuts, He had no more sense to-
uay than to put some OF my hair down the
mole In his desk where the nlkwell goes and
then to put the we'll in the hole and squeeze
it down tight
when ] got up to recite my hair stuck
ana 1t nearly pulled me over backwards
The teacher sat there looking at me and
an the KIDS were giggling and Peanuts was
sitting with his book against his nose and
seeing nothing So / took the inkwell out
inc teacher screamed and Peanuts jumped
and mat made the ink run down his face.
me teacher came and grabbed me by the
arm and took me to the principals office
win my toes just touching the floor. Rowdy
came along growing all the way and only
waiting for me to tell him to go to it.
The principal said 1T has been quite
While, Patsy, since you have been to see
me. What is it this timer" [ told her
and then she sent for Peanuts and he said
1t wasn't true and / am too Irish to let
any one say that don't tell the truth. I
reached for him and the principal grabbed
me and then took us back to our room
When we got there she looked into the hole
where the inkwell belonged and found one
OF my halrs in It, Then she made Peanuts
stand before the whole roomful Of kids and
say that he was sorry, which he was, for
ne was good and scared by that time Then
the principal told me to take my seat and
she took Peanuts back to the oflce with her.
Inc principal is a very smart lady, for I
don't believe that even l would have thought
OF looking into the hole.
After school Rowdy and went out 10
Mr. Rockrudder's house to tell Alice that I
am an actress, Alice huEgsd me and as
II was very late she and her father would
not let me 80 home, which was what 1
hoped. Mr.. Rockrudder held me on his
Knee for quite long time, which made me
KIND OF tired He seems to think he owes
me something for blammlng Alice on the
bean and curing her OF being crazy.
Alice gave me one OF her niEhties when
went to bed In the same room with The
music machine and Alice came in to sleep
with me. pushed her out and locked
the door and said; II don't think YOU ara
crazy any more but you have got 10 prove
II before you sleep in here" could hear
her laughing when she said. Good might.
prayed. Dear mother which art In
heaven were you surprised when God told
you l am an actress? I'll bet the people
SEQ me dance Did you hear the teaohsr
who said tho earth Is round like a bali or
an orange? Isn't that the limit? / hona
you liked the way handed II back 10 pea
nuts Feeney. Amen"
y..ISs. Is,n,%s MI!bE : another rst.y kildare ad