Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1917-04-04
Interview With One Who Sells by
Mail

Mail.
am The Mail-Order King.
/ thrive on the downfall of COM
munities.
/ have built up a colossal fortune
from customers whom l have never
seen.
Never have / done nor will l ever
be known to do anything for the
benefit of the communities that sup
port me- My customers are not my
neighbors; they are personally un-
known to me. / care not for their
veal or woe. l have no interest in
their schools or their churches. l
pay no 1.-THE of their taxes.
When they are sick l comfort
them not, nor do l extend credit to
them then or during bad crop sea-
sons.
Good roads do not interest me;
nor churches. Nor do any of the ac-
tivities that go to make life worth
living for the farmer or the dweller
in the country concern me.
What's that, James? A gentleman
to see me? Have him searched and
show him in. But wait! What does
he look like? A farmer, you say?
How do you know what a farmer
looks like, James? Sometimes l
think you almost forget your place.
Tell the farmer to go to the
No, on second thought I'll see him.
Admit the farmer!
So you're a farmer, are you? Well,
you've got a nerve, forcing yourself
into my library this way. WHAT'S
that? Your mortgage due? Well,
I'm generous; I'll take up your mort
gage if you've got good piece of
land and if the interest is right
provided you pay me good bonus.
You want credit for merchandise
during the hard times, and charity
for the sick family up the road? You
want me to contribute to your chart
ties-yours in the country!
Absurd!
Go to your local merchant.
I'm kept busy with charities in MY
lOwn Home Town.
But these people need help, you
say-and they have always been m!
customers? Tut, tut! They have new
Ter been my customers except wher
they had cash. They have always
lgotten credit from their own home
merchant. Now they should go tc
him for their charity. Credit ano
lcharity, in my mind, are on par.
Unless, of course, there's lot OF
free newspaper publicity in 1T
There is no advertising in extending
Icredit to you or charity to your
Ineighbors up the road. The big
newspapers would never even heal
of it.
own a home by the seashore and
another in the mountains. And an
other among the palms of Southland
And a private yacht. My cellars are
stocked with rare wines. Princes ant
potentates are entertained in m!
home. My wife and daughter lead
the fashions. / dress them in fine
raiment and deck them with spark
ling jewels.
In Short, I'm Some Guy-and I'm
busy. Don't bother me with your
petty affairs.
If you want to buy goods, kick in
with the cash and my men VIII see
what they can do for you. But don
worry me with your little local az
fairs. Above all, don't run to me
when you are sick or in distress. Go
TO YOUR local merchants. If they re-
fuse-go to the devil!
Chances are those sick folks up
the road will never produce any
thing more worth getting, anyhow.
I don't sell collins. And If they DO
get on to their feet again l know
how to bring them into the fold. just
offer them an extra half pound OF
sugar in a deal and they'll Jump
for it-and pay me my usual snug
proflt on the balance of the bill.
James, show the gentleman out
The Crucible.
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