Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1917-03-08
His Majesty

Writers who praise very justly the
crews Of those thousands of steam
traWlers and drifters which are now
auxiliary to the British navy have gen
orally ignored an indispensable part
Of each vessels complement, the ships
dog. This neglect may be due to a
predispositiOn Of landsmen, who are &C.
customed to look upon the dog as a
noble animal; and there is nothing no.
bic about the ships dog-eXternally,
at all events. Appearances are against
him. So far from his being a gentle
man, he is, like Launce's dog Crab in
the 1.-TWO Gentlemen Of Verona out
side the pale Of canine culture. In
short, he is "an unmitigated bOunder,"
and the worst of it is that he knows it
and rejoices in it, says a writer in the
London Times. "Cheek" is stamped
upon his visage. To him there is not
so very much difference between kick
and kind word. Both are in the or
binary days routine. The kick diverts
his attention momentarily to someone
else; the kind word increases his pre-
sumption beyond human endurance.
Nothing in the world would make him
order himself loWly and reyerently to-
ward his superiors.
Your sailor dog Crab is always
mOngrel, partly because seafaring men
love plain things and partly because he
has strong "in'ards" and is never
sick at sea. When his ship is re-
turning to port he is the first to sight,
the lookout in the bow among the ropes
and chains, whose running coils he has
learned dexterously to evade. His nos
trils dilate joyOusly at each Whit OF
stale fish from the quay and he raises
alOft in the breeze a tail which in its
day has obviously taken many strange
craft in tow. His ears are cropped
and his face is blotchy. If nature has
manifestly intended him to be white
an appropriate bar sinister across his
left eye On the other hand, if his
parents had yearned for a jet~blacB
chip of the old block, by similar in
fernal intervention he will have tawny
eyebrows, a soiled shirt front, and one
white sock. His caricature of face
is what naturalists call ''protectlve,'
fox if you thrash him casually to ease
your temper you laugh and pat hin
instantly because "hes such a rummy
little beggar.'
Crab never grumbles, and he is sci
dom out of health. When he is he
chews Oakum as a substitute for grass
and thus regains an appetite which
would f1abbergast the Kennel club. He
will gnaw a crust that has voyaget
half around the world he will heavt
in a yard of untearable gristle as II ne
had a windlass in his stomach; or, ne
will crush a dozen or two Of the ships
cockrOaches as though they were 81
many cracknels. He seldom sets foo
on shore except when he is invited t.
follow the captain to the blue anchor
of an evening. There lying amid saw
dust and cuspidors, he groWls intermit
tent approval Of his masters opinions
Apart from display of the rOugh-and
ready chivalry of the sea when he fall!
in with some canine belle of the town
he holds no acquaintance with his tribe
ashore His contempt is undisguiset
for those landlubber Whelps who SLIM
round butchers shops or play the chit
fonier in refuse heaps. Just now he
is beginning to lose his temper witt
dog shirkers, for he is convinced thai
he is doing his bit" on the high seas
and his Whiskers have the wry anC
salt look of a fellow who has chivieC
U-boats through the North sea spume
Clearly, by his cOuntenance, he ha!
resolved never to be taken prisoner
Should his ship go down in action he
will be found no doubt with his little
cork jacket on, bidding defiance with
dying bark which hasn't got an "h'' il
it. Crab may be "a rummy little beg
gar" but he has a true British hear
all the same and as he would sa.
with his inimitable wink, Don't yol
forget it!'