davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02

pany. He never knew Just what start
ed it, unless it was his careful plac-
ing of a chair for the young woman
and his deferentlal-and perfectly
natural-pause, standing, until she
was seated.
DO, for PHYS sake, sit DOWN. she
broke out, half petulantly. And when
he had obeyed: "Well, you've spoiled
it all, good and hard"
Smith was unable to imagine where
in he had offended.
"Really?" he said. "What have 1
dOne?"
ut isn't what you've done; it's what
you are" she retorted. "You have
committed the objectionable sin by
turning out TO be just one of the
nlnety-nine, after all. II you knew
women the least little bit in the world,
you would know that We are always
looking for the hundredth man."
Under his smile, Smith was begin
ming to understand what this aston
ishingly frank young woman meant,
She had seen his relapse, and was
calmly deriding him for it.
"You may pile it on as thicllly as
you please" he said, the goOd-natured
smile twisting itself into the construc.
tion-camp grin. Then, with malice
aforethought; rs 1t one of the require
ments that your centennial man SHOULD
behave himself like boor at a din
ner table and talk shop and eat witt
his kAife7"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
Germany Great Potato country.

Germany and Austria Hungary have
been producing more than twice as
many potatoes as the United States,
France, Belgium, England, Ireland.
Scotland and Wales. In 1914 the Unit
ed States produced 409,921 900 bush
els, while Germany in the same year
grew 1,674,377000 bushels, or more
than four times as many as we. Last
year we produced only 2S5,437 900, or
less than One-sixth the average potato
yield of the kaiser's people for the
three years beginning with 1912, while
in one year-1913-they dug from the
ground just a few thousand less than
100000 bushels.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
at Is Not Because Lack Bravery"


rot wanting to be on q ranch-and the
reason was not because you were not
brave. Nov I wouldn't care to go
because a ranch sounds so big to me.
1 admit am little timid."
"Pinky, you would be frightened
too," said Grandfather Perky Pig.
Indeed that is not the reason" said
Pinky.
, "Then make haste and tell u.s." said
Miss Ham.
II would not like to be on RANCH"
said Pinky, because would have to
move from here. 1t is not the ranch I
mind but the moving. Now If had
been born on q ranch-then it would
have been different. But was born
in the barnyard and in the barnyard
I'll stay-with my special home of the
Pig Pen. To go to the ranch would
mean great, long trip. And I'm not
one for moving!"
1--WE all know that" said the other
pigs.
mo, 1t is not because lack brav-
cry" said Pinky, strutting around and
waving his little crooked tail, "but be-
cause hate to move. There are some
who like it. They just want to change
and they think by changing they are
getting something finer all the time.
"But for my part know I am well
off where I am, and am just going to
stay-that's ALL"
"a good reason" said Perky.
II wish I had thought of that" said
Miss Ham, "instead Of saying that /
was afraid of a ranch"
"Too bad you didn't" said Pinky
proudly. He knew he had given a
very fine reason himself.
"Well," said Perky, 'it's nice to
have stylish cousins who wear black
suits with white belts, but would
rather stay home too. The Home Pen
is all right, say"
And every pig agreed that moving
was not thing pigs liked and that the
Pig Pen was the best place after all.
For then they could be as lazy as
they wanted to be, and yet they were
well looked after and had a good pig
time.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
CTo BE CoNTINUED.)
Beginning EARLY.

"Father, aren't little girls sllly?"
'sDo you think so, SOM Mother and
I were thinking you might like to have
a little sister"
"Thanks, father; but don't trouble
on my account, because I've got all
can. do to keep away from those girls
at school. 1 don't mind their giving
me presents, but do hate to have
them tag after me going home from
school,"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
An Explanation.

Charlotte had been taught to say the
grace before each meal. One day she
was invited to little friends for din
ner. When the father and mother OF
charlotte were seated for dinner, Brad
dock. a three-year-old brother. bowed
his head and said: "Amen, God. Char~
lotte's gone"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
Nothing Too Good for Josh.

"How's your boy Josh doing in the
army"
"First rate" replied Farmer Corn
tossel, although his mothers little
disappointed. She speaks about the
slowness of Josh's promotion every
time she sees in the paper that the
same old general is still holding his
lob"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
CAUSE SMITH TO MAKE AN IMPORTANT DECISION
THE PLOT AGAINST COL. BALDWIN IS AT WORK

synopss-J Montague Smith, cashier the Lawencevle Bank
society leader engaged
wrongfuy accused of dishonesty by
employer and urged by his guilty to
irrigation dam construction
mountains where he gets job John Smith,
superior attracts attention from the
the official staff the
financial Smith demurs because
investigated but Colonel Baldwin president
claim land
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
Heredity,

Jamie-Gee, your grandma is spry
old lady!
Jennie-Well, hadn't she ought to
be? Her father lived to be a centaur,
and her mother was almost q cent?
pede.-Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
A Startling Reply.

'Did you hear what happened when
the. young electrician who has been
calling on her, asked Katherine to
marry him."
"What happened"
"She shocked him with a positive
negative"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
CHAPTER VIII.
The Sick Project.

Brewster had grown into city-charter
size and Importance with the opening
of the gold mines in the Gloria district
and the transformation of the sur
rounding park grasslands into culti-
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02

The plot which Eastern capi-
taIists have made to steal the lr-
riaation ditch from the original
owners is unfoIded in the next
installment. John Smith acts
with decision.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
hohhy,a Golden RnIa.

Bobby" said the teacher, "can you
repeat the golden ruler"
"Yes, ma'am," replied Bobby. "Do
unto other fellows what they would
like TO do to you"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02
ORIGINAL Antipathy.

"What do you think of this move to
conserve food supplies?"
"Oh l never did care for cOnserves."
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1917-08-02

WoMAN's GROWING GLORY
is her hair. If yours is streaked with
ugly, grizzly, gray hairs, Use la Gre
ole" Hair Dressing and change it in
the natural way. Price $1.00.-Adv.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

We would not be the pupils and dis
cfples Of the Papists, but their masters
and lords. We, too, would strut 1t q
bit, and be arrogant with these jack.
asses. And, as Paul makes boast
against his crazy saints. so make
boast against these my iackasses. Are
they doctors? So am l. Are they
learned? So am I. Are they preach
ers? So am I. Are they theologians?
So am 1. Are they controversialists
SO am !. Are they philosophers; So
am I. Are they dialecticians? So am
I. Are they teachers? So am l. Do
they write books? So do l. And I will
go farther in my boast. I can explain
the psalm and the prophets. They
cannot. l can interpret. They can
not. Why, if there be only one among
them that can understand Alright a
foreword or chapter of Aristotle, l
am ready to be tossed in blanket
And that is the sort of twaddle which
Luther substituted for the authority
of Christ"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
LIST SPOILED BY ADULATloN
Great Piano Virtuoso Never Employed
to Best Advantage the Great Gift
That He Possessed.

It is only when we remember LISTS
profession that we can read the riddle
he presents. From childhood up, he
was the idolized piano virtuoso. He
was petted and adored all his life. He
was smothered all his life under the
adulation showered upon him in every
capital of Europe, showered upon him
In every tangible form by women of
the highest society. His was not a
character profound or fine enough to
right itself. He never managed to de.
velop out Of that stage, to contact
with truly nourishing things. On the
contrary, he became completely up
rooted, came to exist entirely in this
modern Capua, came to love it and to
crave the rose leaves and the clouds
Of perfume. His music is largely an
inspiration toward it, an attempt to
perpetuate about him the admiration
and adulation, the glowing eyes and
half parted lips, the heaving bosoms,
It is mechanism for procuring for
himself the Pascha power he desired.
Indeed, beside List, Chopin seems a
veritable anchorite. True. Liszt in
terested himself in music for another
reason. If it served to procure him
the particular "place in the sun" that
he craved, 1t furnished him also with
most engaging pastime. He inter-
ested himself In music as one might
interest oneself in sport as one be-
comes more proficient in it. He stud
led its rules, its teachings, it's tricks.
With what keenness he mastered them
his compositions show. But that inter-
est was only minor. The other was
the major.-Paul Rosenf1eld, in Seven
Arts Magazine,
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
FEW BIRDS SING IN AUGUST
MIdseason Month Noticeable for tho
Absence Of Music From Natures
Feathered Creatures.

Once upon a time when we had
something to. say about August we
spoke on it as natures silent month,
remarks the Terre Haute Star. Al
most instantly we were reproved by
readers who said that in August the
locusts and some dozens CT their kin
made the month noisy, If not musical.
Confessedly, when we wrote Of Au-
gust as the silent month, we were
thinking Of birds, not bugs.
The song sparrow, the red-eyed
vireo and sometimes the ovenbird try
to take from August its value as q
synonym for silence, but of what &C.
count is the music of three when their
thousand fellows refuse to sing?
August is the molting month and
Noting is a painful process. The
oirds do not feel like singing, and,
mostly, they do not sing, but it is high
ly probable that they would not, even
If nature were not insisting on a
change Of feathers. The reason is that
the season is late. Housekeeping was
pushed forward because roofs were
likely to leak.
August, however, for it's main part,
will hold It's silent record. It is the
midseason and it shows forth together
some Of the beauties Of summer and
Of fall. The belated rose blossoms
with the early aster and the goldenrod
stands between. August has neither
the full glory Of burning July nor of
cool September, but it shares in some
vmal part Of the glories Of each.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
MURDER AT cARRlcKMAcRoss.
Thos. Martin Accused of Shooting
Peter Byrne of cioughvalley.

Following an inquest at Carrickma-
cross on the body of Peter Byrne, 81,
Cloughvalley, who died from a revol-
yer shot. .Thos. Martin, caretaker, La
velle's farm, Trostan, was brought be-
fore special court, and remanded on
the capital charge. John Campbell,
Bath ST., Carrickmacross, said he was
in Mr.. Magee's shop, and had drink
with Martin. Byrne came in, and said
something about "landgrabbers." Mar
tin followed him out, and witness
heard a shot and saw Martin on the
ground, and Byrne bending over him.
Byrne said: "You done it," and fell.
Dr. McCaul deposed that the bullet,
judging by the wound in the abdomen,
might have been fired by man on the
ground.
Mr.. Magee said Martin took a re-
volver from under his coat while in
the shop and faced Byrne, but went
out when witness protested. Witness
heard the shot after Byrne had gone
out, and went to see what had hap
pened. Byrne was bending over Mar
tin, but made for witness, and caught
hold Of him, and said II got it" or "I'm
DONE" The jury returned verdict
according with the medical evidence,
and added that the shot was fired by
Martin.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
OLD RAILS TO JAPAN
Large Quantities Shipped From Puget
Sound Points.

Large quantities Of old steel rails
are being shipped from Puget Sound
to Japan. They are 56 and 66-pound
rails laid originally on logging rail-
roads in western Washington and or
sidetracks and minor divisions Of the
Northern Pacific railroad.
The rails first cost was S24 ton.
Japanese brokers are paying $40 ton
for them, and the japanese railroads
pay 500 ton for them, because they
are unable to get rails elsewhere.
Twenty-three hundred tons Of old
rails have been shipped to Japan from
Seattle in the last few weeks and 800
tons from Tacoma. Another 800-ton
shipment has been assembled at Seat
tie, WASH, and still another 5OO-ton lot
will be ready in week or two.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

But Father Baethin fears he has
drawn a good many jokes from his
bag at the expense of the newspaper
men, and is therefore very happy to
find this: The late Archbishop Ryan
was present as a guest at a dinner
given in honor of the annual gather
ing of the delegates of the Interna-
tional League of Press Clubs. Being
unexpectedly called on to offer a few
remarks, Il am willing to speak," he
responded, "but 1 am at loss for a
subject" "Why not take the press?"
suggested a journalist. Quick as
flash came the reply: Because, in
this country, the press is not SUBJ
ject; it is monarch of all it's surveys"
(Needless to say, this witty response
antedated the present condition of af-
fairs, when the press is compelled to
do homage to censorship
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

There is an Irish priest in the Prov
ince of Quebec who deserves to- be
popular. He is hail fellow we'll with
every one in his village, asks for con-
tributions, and gets liberal ones, from
Catholic and Protestant alike. One
day a delegation of Baptists called on
him-men who had frequently con-
tributed to his church-and told him
they were going to erect new Bap-
fist meeting house, as the old one was
too small, and asked him to subscribe
to the fund We'll, boys" he said,
after slight hesitation, "you know
my religion forbids my doing that, but
/ will give fifty dollars to help tear
down the old meeting house."
From the christian Century,: A
Southern clergyman tells of certain
congregation whose annual report to
it's UNCONVENTIONAL authorities regu-
larly reads like this:
Number added last year by bap.
tism, none.
Number added by letter, none.
Number dismissed by letter, five.
Number of members who have died.
three.
Amount raised for home missions,
nothing.
Amount raised for foreign missions,
nothing"
Each year the letter closes with this
request: Pray for us, brethren that
we may continue faithful to the end"
The Duke of Leeds and his Anglican
chaplain were met one morning by his
Grace's shoemaker. What have you
there, Walkden?" said the Duke. "A
pair of shoes for your Grace" he re.
piled. The chaplain looked at the
shoes, and asked the price. Half a
guinea, SIR Half guinea for a
pair of shoes!" exclaimed the chap
lain. "Why. could go to Cranbourn
and buy better pair of shoes than
that for five and sixpence"; to which
Walkden replied: "Sir, l can go to
stall in Moorields and buy a better
sermon for twopence than his Grace
gives you a guinea for" The Duke
clapped the shoemaker on the shout.
der, and said: Excellent retort,
Walkden, make me half dozen pairs
of shoes directly"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

A well-known Catholic journal cele-
brated the golden jubilee of it's founda-
ton. Floods of congratulatory mes
sages poured in, some very solemn, all
serious, except that of his Grace of
Philadelphia, whose felicitation to the
editor, referring to the paper, was:
MAY it's golden jubilee be perpetuated
by crowns of gold for it's editors in
the world to come, the only kind of
gold and the only place to obtain it to
which editors during the last fifty
years could have looked" IN. B.
Gentle reader, is your subscription
paid up?)
Once Archbishop Ryan remonstrat-
ed with priest whose silk hat had
long since seen its best days. II
would not give up that old hat for
twenty new Ones" said the priest; 1T
belonged to my father, who fell in the
uprising of 49," "And evidently fell
on that hat" said the Archbishop.
Turning from aged hats to aged hui
mans, w. M. is fond of telling the
story, apropos of longevity, of the
Barnum's side-show agent who, seeing
an extraordinarily old man chopping
wood, wanted to engage him as a Gu
riosity for the show. The old man
said, "I'll have to ask Dad" WHAT.
Is your father alive? May see him?"
dad will be out directly; he's up,
stairs putting Grandpap to bed"
Amusing as this anecdote is, the fol-
lowing appeals to me more, not only
because it is true incident, but be-
cause it contains that touch of pathos
which marks the greatest humor:
Father Roach of the Ohio apostolate
brought Father Goebel to visit an old
man in the country who wished to re-
ceive; he entered the room and found
man of seventy years or more. After
his confession had been heard, one of
the women entered the room and said
to the old man: "Come out now and
let your father go in" So the "boy"
came out and his father went ina
man of ninetysix years.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

A farmer in Montana once upraid-
ed Bishop Blank, of the Episcopal
Church, for offering to give. Commun-
ion to all who believed in the whole
Nicene Creed. do you know" the
farmer said, that old Nicene did not
believe in the divinity of Christ; And
to think of this creed being patched
up by Nicene, and made a confession
of faith for the Episcopal church," 1t
was little rough on "old Nicene."
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
To Care for Children.

Three detachments of specialists In
diseases of children have been recruit
ed in the United States by the Red
Cross, and will be put to work caring
for the little ones in charge of the new
children's bureau of the Red Crossl
tuberculosis and diseases prevalent
among children will be combated.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15

During the regular pastors summer
vacation the sermons at the Baptist
meeting house were preached by we'll
known minister's visiting in turn. A
list Of coming attractions was posted
In the vestibule. One morning, when
making his announcements for the
coming week, the days incumbent
mislaid the slip containing the name
of his immediate successor, but he
supplied the information in this fash
ion: con the way out you will find
the preacher for next Sunday hanging
up in the vestibule."
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1917-12-15
FATHER BAETHlN's BAG OF
JOKES.
Compiled by Benjamin Francis Musse'

A young lady who had just married
a Presbyterian minister was asked by
local reporter where the happy
couple intended to live. cat the old
manse," said the bride. The reporter
was little shocked by what he con-
sidered her discourtesy, but neverthe-
less ended his account of the wedding
with this statement: "After the
honeymoon the couple will live at the
old man's"
The Lamar register., 1917-08-15
Surprisinu Auntie.

The following. related by the Atchi-
son Globe, is one little boys idea OF
n pleasant surprise party: Little
Fritz Kruger, Globe carrier, recently
was unfortunate enough to break his
leg. Soon after the accident he learned
that his aunt. Miss DOruthca Kruger.
would arrive within day or two from
Crete Neb., and he urged his parents
not TO inform his aunt that he had
broken his leg. II want to surprise
her when she comes" the little fellow
said. when his aunt did arrive she
assumed TO him that she had not
learned Of his accident. On going to
his bedside, she asked him why he had
gone to bed so early. "'Cause 1 was
tired" he said, but finally he added
that Il surprise party was In store for
her. Then he threw back the covers
and showed the cast Of his leg and
smiled triumphantly. It was his idea
Of the most successful kind Of sur
prise party.
The Lamar register., 1917-08-15
al Believe Austin Is a Strong Rebel
Sympathizer."

Pneve some TO see You In n wOouen
kimono. Tad's too well fixed to steal
cattle, and IL he runs arms It's be
cause he's a galvanized Grlngo' him
self-married a Mexican, you know"
When mealtime drew near, both
Jones and his daughter urged their
guest to stay and dine with them, and
Dave was glad to accept.
after supper I'm going to show you
our town" Blaze declared. ITS the
finest city In south Texas, and grow
ing Ike n weed. All we need Is good
farmers. Those we've got are mostly
hack-to-nature students who leaped a
drug counter expecting to light in the
lap Of luxury. In the last outfit we
sold there wasn't three men that knew
which end Of a mule to put the collar
on. But they'll learn. Natures with
'em, and so am l. God supplies 'em
with all the fresh air and sunshine
they need, and when they want any
thing else they come to Old Blaze.
Amt that right, PalomaT
"Yes, father"
Paloma Jones had developed won
derfully since Dave Law had last seen
her. She had grown into a most whole
some and attractive young woman,
with an honest humorous pair Of
brown eyes. During dinner she did
her part with a grace that made watch
ing her pleasure, and the Ranger
found 1t a great treat to sit at her
table after his strenuous scouting days
in the mesquite.
I'm glad to hear Jonesville is pros
perous," he told his host. "And they
say you're in everything"
''That's right; and prosperity's no
(Continusd on page 81
The Lamar register., 1917-08-15
Foodstuffs Instead Of Cotton.

Planters I'm the fertile Laguna dis
trict near Torreon, Mexico, are sub
stltuting war crops for cotton this
year. Having learned that the de
mand for corn, wheat and other sta
pie foodstuffs would be heavy ard
prices correspondlngly high, the Mexi-
can hacienda owners have plowed up
their cotton lands in this famous cot
tGn-growlng district OF central Mexico
ard have planted food crops.
The Lamar register., 1917-08-15
Lese- e-MalestY.

Lese-mnjesty in Jurisprudence signi-
fes any crime committed against the
sovereign power in a state. Among
the Romans "crlmen lnesae majesta-
It's" denoted charge brought against
citizen for acts Of rebellion, usurpa-
ton of office, or general mlsdemeanors
OF a political character, which were
comprehended under the title Of Of
fcnses against the majesty of the Ro-
man people. In the reign Of Tlberlus,
according TO Suetonlus, 1t was lcse-
aiesty TO fog a slave or to chnnge
ones clothes in the presence Of any
Image Of the emperor. Germany gives
the law very vigorous force In all crid-
cisms Of the emperors official acts.
In the United States this form OF
treason Is without constitutional rec
ognltion Constitution Of the United
States, Article III, Section lid.