The Benson signal., 1917-12-29


What's the matter with you, child?'
Nothing" said Rose, "-nothing
that you'd call anything, at any rate"
POrtia smiled ironically. I'm still
the same old dragon, then," she said.
And then-"I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to say that, either. I've had a rather
worrying sort of week."
what is it?" said Rose. "Tell me
about it. Can help?"
"No," said Portia. ''Tve thought it
over and it isn't your job" She got
up and went to the window and stood
looking out where Rose couldn't see
her face. "It's about mother" she
concluded.
Rose sat up with jerk. "About
mother!' she echoed. "Has she been
i'll again this week? And you haven't
let me know! It's shame I haven't
been around, but I've been busy"-her
smile reflected some of the irony Of
Portia's-"and rather miserable. OF
course I was going this afternoon"
eyes," said Portia, II fancied you'd
wanted to see you alone first"
"Alone!" Rose leaned sharply for
ward. "Oh, don't stand there where
can't see you! Tell me what it u.s."
"Pm going to-" said Portia. "You
see, wasn't satisfied with old Muir
ray. I thought it was possible, either
that he didn't understand mothers
case, or else that he wouldn't tell me
what he suspected. So a week ago
today, I got her to go with me to a
specialist" Her voice got a little
harder and cooler. 'Mother'n never be
well, Rose. Her heart is getting fab
by-degenerating, he called it. He
says we can't do anything except to
retard the progress of the disease. It
may 60 fast, or it may go slowly. That
attack she had was just O symptom,
he said. She'll have others. And by
and by, OF course, fatal one."
Still she didn't look around from
the window. She knew Rose was cry
ing. She had heard the gasp and
choke that followed her first announce
regularly, muff1ed sound of sobbing.
She wanted to go over and comfort
the young, stricken thing there on the
bed, but she couldn't. She could feel
nothing but dull, Irresistible anger
that Rose should have the easy relief
of tears, which had been denied her.
Because POrtia couldn't CRY.
"He said," she went on, that in this
climate, living as she has been doing,
she'd hardly last six mon tbs, but that
in a bland climate like southern Cali
fornia, if she's carefully watched all
the time to prevent excitement or over
exertion, she might live a good many
years.
$50 that's what we're going to do.
I've written the Fletchers to look out
a place for US, and I've sold out my
business-took an offer that I refused
month ago. AS soon as we hear from
the Fletchers, We'll begin to pack.
Within a week, hope"
Rose said a queer thing then. She
cried out inGreduously: "And you and
mother are going away to California
to live! And leave me here all alone !"
Cali alone with the whole of your
own life," thought Portia, but didn't
say it.
Il can't realize it at ALL" Rose went
on after little silence. 'It doesn't
Seem-pOssible. Do you believe the
specialist is right? Can't we go to
someone else and make Sure?"
:What's the use?" said Portia. "Be-
sides, if drag mother around to any
more of them, she'll know"
Rose looked up sharply. doesn't
she known"
"No," said Portia in that hard, even
voice of hers. 81 lied to her, of course.
You know mother well enough to know
what she'd do if she knew the truth
about 1t. Don't you know how it's
always pleased her when old people
could die-in harness. as she says?"
The ordeal, or the worst of it, was
over. Rose was dropping forlornly
forward, one arm claSped around her
knees, and she was trying to dry her
tears on the sleeve of her nightgown.
The childlike pathos of the attitude
caught Portia like the surge Of wave.
She crossed the room and sat down on
the edge of the bed. She'd have come
still closer and taken the girl in her
arms, but for the fear of starting her
crying again.
"Yes," Rose said. '"That's neither.
And I guess she's right about it. 1t
must be horrible to be half-alive-to
know you're no use and never will be.
And you've gone through this all alone