The Lakeland evening telegram., 1917-06-30
An Ineffective
Revenge
By ALAN HINSDALE

A vehicle stopped at the country res !,
idence Of Mrs. Van Arsdale, and man.
taking phonograph from it. carried 1t |
to the front door Miss Birdie Van |
Arsdale was sitting on the porch at the |
time and asked him what she could do
for him. Presenting the phonograph, .
he said.
Il am introducing the burglar alarm /,
phonograph. 1t is especially designed
for unprotected families and renders
other defenses unnecessary. 1t Is con
nected electrically with such openings
In the house as would be considered
available by burglar, wound ready
for use, and on his breaking the con
nection the clockwork IS set going.
The machine then addresses the bur
glar, who, finding his presence In the
house to be known. beats precipitate
retreat"
The prelude to such encomiums as
drummer knows how to pour out upon
what he has for sale caused the young
lady to call out:
"Mother Come here"
Mother came The salesman repeated
what he had already said and contin-
ucd IKE trOtting horse en- an endless
track
"lf the burglar ia one OF the desper
ate kind any member OF the family
who has been awakened BY the phono-
graphs first words may move slide
marked Shoot" and the report Of n
pistol will be heard. This slide point
ing to another. rs to call the police"
Mother and daughter exchanged
glances. They were deprived OF mans
protection and never went to bed with
out poking canes and umbrellas under
their beds Mr.. Van Arsdale was
obliged to spend his summers In the
city and was rarely with them. When
he came up he lay like watchdog on
wire inclosed portion Of the porch,
and his wife and daughter slumbered.
Mrs. Van Arsdale asked the price OF
one OF the monographs, drew a check
for the 500 asked. and after the new
owner had been duly instructed the
drummer departed
1t was Saturday evening. Mr.. Var
Arsdale had written that he would not
be able to spend the week end with his
family, and after the house was closed
for the night Mrs. Van Arsdale and her
daughter placed the phonogrnph at the
A. xa;r 1noH n tn
front door. The salesman had put II
all the connections, and there was moth
ing to be done except make the attach
ments. These things having been at
tended to- the ladies went to bed, ant
sleep and oblivion reigned over all.
Mr.. Van Arsdale changed his minf
and went home.
1t was just twenty minutes to ].
when Mr. Van Arsdale arrived at hom'
and stepped lightly on to his porch tina
ne might not awaken his wife anC
daughter. His out Of door bedding no
hcing provided, he thought he woul'
20 upstairs stcalthily and get It. In
serting his night key, be opened tn
door and as he stepped into the hal
felt his foot catch in some obstruction
such as fine wire or light string
What was his establishment to hear
sonorOus voice burst forth:
AHA! You thought to get In her
without our knowing 1t, did you? Ac
vance at your peril I've got the dro
on you! An inch further and you're
dead man y
1t must be admitted that such a n
ception on entering his own house ha
a marked effect on Mr.. Van Arsdal'
The only motion he made was throw
ing ND of his hands. BE could not sc
the speaker, but he supposed the speai
er could see him, since he had declare
that he had the drop.
At the first challenge of the intrude
Mrs. Van Arsdale and Birdie both sill
! out of bed and made for the positio
of the phonograph, reaching 1t Just
the talking machine pronounced th
words "a dead man."
rs he going out?" whispered Mr.
Van Arsdale, shivering.
NO" replied the daughter. Il thin
I can hear him down there near ii
door"
Push the slide calling the police"
Birdie felt for the slide, but, not b
ing able to see In the dark, struck II
I wrong one. There was a shot, follo'
, ed by the words" Well, then, tai
, thatw
, Something was heard to drop In Il
/ hall below.
, what have you done7" cried Z
mother frantically. 81 told You
! move the slide calling the pohc
! You've killed him.