davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1917-03-01
The Foot KisserS and GOd-Easers
Have Strong Hold ON Texas.
(CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE. J

He can't say such things in English. and
outside church, without exciting derision
But the miW in the Netardus cocoanut runs
out, IN the next statement of his in the Post:
A man Of such propensities is dangerous men,
Der of the human society, and were it not for
the fear of punishment he would stop at no evh
or crime to satisfy his depraved cravings And
yet when such destroyer of peace and harmony
among citizens is arraigned before the tribunal Of
Justice, accused Of demoralizing the public with
the product OF his degraded mind, he is declared
by the jury innocent as a lamb DESPITE all
evidence to the contrary-he is declared to be a
law abiding citizen
Mob law will prevail and be on the increase in
the State of Georgia long publications poison
ing the minds of the public are permitted, nay
abetted by the postal department, to be circu-
lated. The citizens of Georgia. in having their
State heralded throughout the world as a State
where mob law reigns supreme, have been only
reaping what some of it's literary perverts have
been sowing. S. P. NETARDUS.
Flatonia, Texas.
One OF those LITERARY perverts' must have
written the unutterably lascivious Latin
which was o. KID by Italian popes and which
goes through the mails to Roman priests.
teaching them how to strip the virginia.
modesty from women in the cess-pool Comics
slOnal.
The name of the literary pervert is AL
phensus Llguori, and he is Saint in Netar-
dus pagan church.
[ have no doubt that Netardus possesses a
copy of the Moral Theologv' of the Italian
saint, and that he himself has undressed many
a shrinking girl with those lewd, filthy, lust
full questions.
If the jury in my case had Been trying
Llguorl, they would no doubt have found him
guilty; but inasmuch as [ had been too modest
to translate his nasty stuff, and had put it
aside in an Appendix, for the use of the
learned few, the jury saw that I had care
fully observed the literary custom of Rev DR..
Anthony Froude, Edward Gibbon, Martin
Luther Hallam, Thomas Carlyle DR.. San
ger, DR.. Fowler, Macaulay, Hume, Burnett,
Turner, and the Editors of such works as
The Decameron, Pepys Diary, Arabian
Nights, and st. Augustines City of God"
If Netardus will buy copy of that favorite
papal classic and read the Saints theory of
sinless racial propagation, he will have some
filth that is equal to Liquors..
What's worrying these American footl1ssers
is, their realization of the fact that they are
up against such a fight as they have not had,
since they arere PUT DOWN By the Ref0yma-
ton.
We are going to put them down, again
The salvation of our laws and institutions
demands it.
When they declared war upon us, in 1908,
by proelaiming in this country the Italian
church's damnable marriage-law, peace was
at an end
They began it, and now we will fight it out
to the bitter end.
Their foreign church and their foreign laws
shall not rule this Republic.
Their foreign church has got to obey our
laws-aH Of them!
Their foreign laws must keep out of here
ecery one of them.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1917-03-01
Baptist Preacher i'm Richmond.
Virginia, Sees the Roman Peril!
Powerful Sermon OF Rev. Geo. w.
Mcdaniel. I'D. I'D.

\ the April number of U'atSou's Magazine,
we will publish in full the mastery sermon
alluded to In the TimeS-Dispatch as per the
following brief notice:
Says knights of Columbus Are Attempting to
Capitalize Name of George Washington.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Knew Fathers Weakness.

Johnny B, who has seen eigh!
go by, no very long ago de
veloped a fondness for playing nook.
ey. from school. After two or three
offenses of this kind he was taken tc
task by his teacher.
Johnny She said, 1.-THE TEXT time
you are absent / want you to bring me
an excuse from your father telling me
why you We're mot here
II don't want to bring any excuse
from father pratested the boy.
.Why not?' asked the teacher, her
suspicion plain
"'Cause father isn't any good at
making excuses Mother finds him
out every tImeRehoboth sunda-
Herald.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
GIRL oF SOLDIERS WIFE


IsA fourteen-year-old schoolgirl be
camesn soldiers wife III Brooklyn re-.
Gently, thus following the example OF
her mother, who became the bride of'
one of Uncle Sans men In khiki i4H
months ago ag
Matte Lee Hudsbeth OF Douglas,
-Artz,. was the latest bride the
Rr0oklyn Eagle. The soldier boy WHO
became her husband is David Eugene
Henry OF Spring, Tex. The bridegroom,
lis only twenty-five md a member OF
the Twenty-secord infantry, now sta
TONED at Fort Hamilton.
The girls stepfather went abroad
with General Eershing and is now
Somewhere In France Ills wife
planned to join him and came East.
White waiting passopfts here her
daughter netfHenry, with whom she
became acquainted in Arizona two
years ago.
While the brides mother is absent
in France her daughter Will remain
here and will attend school.
ArHTtE 49, 49, MEINA * AEL
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Same Old Lectures.

On Il certain occasion Professor
Br,inder Matthews OF Columbia uni
ssersity. speaking jokingly of his age,
said he trusted that he was not SO
old that the students could play on
Tim the Hrick he nee IA tried on a
senior professor in his own college
days.
Professor Blank" he said, was our
most venerable instructor, and he
could be just a little irritable at times.
Once, noticing that a member of his
class who sat right under his eye
never took any notes or paid the
slightest attention to his lectures, he
stopped atsfTlptlY and demanded
See here, young man, what do you
mean by coming into my classroom
day after day Inc eve taking notes?'
81 have my fathers, was the stu
dents conlptaeent reply."--Youth's
Companion
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
The PoIitcst Man.

Vice President Marshall declares
that The politest man lives In Newark,
Ohio. Mr.. Marshall made a campaign
speech there Inst ran When he was
about half through, d man made his
way quietly from the rear Of the room
up to the edge of the platform, watt
ed until Mr.. Marshall paused to swal-
low, at the end of the paragraph, and
then offered to shake hands With the
vice president.
I'm sorry, hut I'll have to bid you
good night the a said. 1--WE got
to go home now."-F. G. Kelly, in Col-
Hers Weekly.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

AN0THERGEEjNlIlllu6 III MKo
SERNES E0R NOTHING
Hy Frsd q Kally

81 Frsdc Kaliy
WAlters9.gGIfford director of the conns
ell Of national defense ana HI advisory
scOynMniesion and su~bcornlnittee. is.ssNhy
re1epn#of his title. non1sna boss IL
bie agalaxy Of business H~tarsN-gray haired
railroad presidents. Captains and naator
generals s0f Industry. SS#
And yetA@Gifford Ii A@blonde Y man
only S2Syeafzgoldi
What OF mar is clifford ans.
how. to be doing such Important things
with so few Years behind him?
Well, he was graduated from Harvard
at 20, and then set out to- get himself 2
Job-just like anybody would. He vas
without any particular pub, and had TO no
toga OF Embellishments and state
his willingness to be one OF their brigh.
young men. He got a cierkship in the
company.
Six years later there was just one thing
between Clifford and starvation. chat one
thing was a nice little salary OF $s5,000sas
year! He had developed Into q reorgan-
|izer OF railway and mining properties in,
the west. All. you understand. III the
space of six years after leaving college.
When summoned by Secretary OF War.
Baker to his present job. which pay no
salary atSall. not ever street car fare,
Clifford was an officer and statistical ex-s
pert of the Bell Telephone at a
neat, almost gaudy, salary. His specially
is fgures--fgures that are arranged in
tables to express human averages. Young
as he is, Clifford is one of the pioneers
of the new science. of business statistics in
che United States. A humble of the mod
ern policies OF the Bell telephone system
are founded on the investigations of Gif-f
ford's statistical department., All his train
Ing in this line Clifford acquired after
leaving the university, but before he was
30 years old, he was back featuring at
Harvard or the subject in which he had
become expert.
"A good deal of the effectiveness of the
work OF the council OF national defense to-
day rests, in a measure. on the pre,imin-1
airy efforts Of Clifford as secretary Of the
Industrial defense committee OF the inava
consulting board.
When called to Washington last fall to
become director of the council of national
defense. Clifford was on his honeymoon.
Besides being married and blonde and 81,
Clifford Is, a trffle bald in front is heavy
Just on the jagged edge OF becoming fat
and looks older h a he really is. His ia
vorite pastfme is riding around from one
place to another on a horse.
Gifford's associates. say that the secret
of his success lies to a considerablee extent
inshis ability TO keep track of the little de-
tails, as we'll as the larger features OF
whatever he is doing.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Japan Doing Her part.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
n signal reception which the mikado
to Admiral knight, who is in charge Of
the. Ameratsan Asiatic squadron, Is not
eoe ssssf When Is 5 j anel Distant. Is e q the sb lazt
to its neigkbor from across an ocean
which has ever been a bond of union be-
ceremonial nature OF the visit may be
exaggerated at this time. nothing that
makes make r.. for g a. c=ontinuing f~risnd5ahip BE-
snated: Hence the social amenities! that
have been features of the visit Of ADJ
nm for sending home the body of
Ambassador Guthrie in a man of war
q Y g new meaRisg and one that must
that tine Tnited states,l through a new
and bitten TWISTED thread 81 apsan eseol re1
latioris under conditions that call for the
GREATEST stactfulness. Germany, fer in
using funds ilavishky in China to restore
the monarchy, and more to carry fon an
the Unfted States, too, SO as to Entbroil
those who are allies of war in what Ger
many hopes may be a continuing @sontro.
from ithe zimmermann plot. the middle daeM
psychology Of German diplomacy, eiiled
with iuversweening egotism, was not above
whispering ITO Jgpan that m would
support her in an anti-American policy
and even lin actual warfare. This I'M
HplifIv no NTeaQ the Japanese character
and the American which has male crude
effort the jokefof the war5will mot, how
ever. discourage the German rnarplots
WIZ will keep on striving to convince
America, through insidious agents, that
Japari's somewhat natural tutelage OF
Ciffna is altogether selfish, sinister and
wholly anti-American.
And at the psychologist moment 1t is
expected that We shall be stampeded
the open or shut door campaign, with
the Pacific painted as closed to our ex-
lake. or course, all ofSus know that
none harm has been done to american
interests in the Pacific by our W
unwise Shipping legislation than uky Japan
in competition in 20 years.
ties, calls for tonly.a modicum oftcommon
sense ON the part OF the statesmen of
this country and those of Japan with 8
fun and free definition of all the con-
{trOyersial phrases which a stirred up
/ trouble In the past. This will bring about.
or rather will continue, those friendly re-
lations tSrat both countries sincerely be-
/ Europe is to-day a frfghtfulF example of
what the old fashioned diplomacy ned to.
and what we want to see between our
selves and Japan is a new fashiQneG dfpio-
macy, that OF the open book and of the
shirt sleeves variety. in so far as the
shirt sleeves style means getting down to
the essentials OF the case and honestly
should. This VIII eliminate the marplots
and confirm as understanding thai Will
last. II the administration perceives. this
the future Will be underwritten in the
Pacific in a way that will go far to make
the west and the east meet and act as ONE
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

Ynsss lasa aa ss sos plaee2Ss9la
sas asssla s. 49, 49,. 81 a aaag ssM sa1ssl let
2svW aSS soso aa1s.. sog asolasa sN l1ne ssll*
s MAl0 spoass ss oh
III ao.,T s l'.As n i .'i ssgsIkur aAe
Sss lolseu $500 nv !. ner as nIas qla
$3.50 W ssp ec. ilsE ~ auotasson De-
leW.sla.ss l.eaopinaon o.sa. narasneae
~ assVls to.siil'aA " we npor1aii
n MvllsIas stls Ahes
ss u. 5vl.e s ass1s ssss' lsnI
-. #ssSe sluse LIS 9n4ssasht ~
yo '.,Ts' ...a.4, sgSa
s.a j NJ 81 q Wy Wy ]. WIS BIZ. gssas rs WIS
49, 81 s..e ullcsis ss,ls1ns
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Need ! Geraa. e. Macedonia.

Herbert Corey, In the National Geographtc
Magazine.
The malaria bearing mesquite Is a really
dangerous enemy in Macedonia. Last year
the allied troops did not realize what the
Macedonian mosquito can do, apparently.
They were not prepared. In consequence
fully one-half OF their strength was out
[pf action because. of malaria.
During n period more men were In.
valided home than arrived on ships. i
heard of battalions with Is per cent OF
their men on their backs, and OF com
panies in which only five men were 1T
tor duty; The well men watched +
dugouts, but the sick men responded to
can when an attack was made: Even In
the midst Of winter one saw yellow faced
men fa,tering along the Monastir road
toward some nea by hospital. It often
took them a day TO cover fiye miles. At
Inight5they sometimes slept in the mud,
wrapped in blankets that had been soaked
by the days rain. They aid not COM
plain. what was the use?
Conditions have improved for future
campaigns. The allies are on higher
ground, for one thing. They nave cut
their way through the Bulgarian lines
until they ave reached the hills. There
Always be malaria here until Maced0nia
- drained and oiled. Panama fashion.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
What Allied Smith.

a plainly dressed 1nan. who intro
dIced himself as Mr.. Jchn Snhth,
walked 5infoa DOCTORS office IN q Texas
town, and, having explained his swmp-
toms, asked the doctor how long it
would take to cuHre him. 1he doctor,
who had treated the visitor with every
possible courtesy, replied:
You VIII rsssnire careful treatment
under my, personal supervision for
about two months before. you are able
to resume your labors in the bank
Doctor. yeml are fooling yourself. ]
am not Slniaih the banker, but Smith,
the street can. driver
rs that sso2 Well, my good fell
low, I don't see what you came to see
me for
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
a Mean Advantage.

The 1~canninesS'' OF the Scottish
4peopleis aptly illustrated in the fol
lowing:
The other days Two boys of about
twelve. years of age quarreled and fin
;ished up with blows. In the tussle
one of the combatants got knocked
down, and while still on the ground
queried:
s"Wad We hit q chap when he's
doom
ma CALAMITY responded the vic.
tor.
"Ah, weel,'' quoth the vanquished
vet cautious youngster. sI'H be here
it'll We gang ava ."-TTtBits.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
A sad Memory.

Awaiting herself of her ecclesiastical
privileges, the eergYman's wife asked
questions which, coming from anybody
else, would have been thought imperti-
nent.
Il presume you carry a memento of
some kind in that docket you wear9''
she said.
Yes, ma'aln,' said the ~parishioner,
ut is q lock Of my husbands hair"
but your husband Is still alive the
lady exclaimed.
Yes, ma'am, but his hair is gone"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
SKIN TORTUREs,
That Itch, Burn and Scale Quickly ne.
lieved by Cuticura-Triai Free.

Il takes about ten minutes to prove
that a hot bath with Cuacura Soap
followed by gentle applications Of
Cuticura Ointment will afford relief
and point to speedy healment of
eczemas, itchings and irritations. They
are ideal for all toilet purposes.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, C~uticrra. Dept. q
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Now She's Angry.

He--I wonder what the meaning OF
that picture IS? The youth and the
maiden are ina tender sattttude.
She--Oh. don't you seea. he has
Just asked her to. marry him, and she
Ns accepting him. How sweet! What
does the artist call the picture?
He tloodSing about)-Oh, 6 see. It's
written on d card at the bottom
AEold.',
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
Utter indifference.

No wonder she's unhappy. She
doesn't know where her husband is
half the time
"a great many wives don't know
where their husbands are half the
time"
Perhaps SO; but he doesn't even
take the trouble to make her think She
knows where he isl
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
What Did He Mean?

Mulford-Your wife used to sing
and play a great deal. | have mot.
heard her lately.
StRfora-Since we have had chill
dren she has had no time.
Mulford-Ah. children are such a
blessing .-~Everybody's Magazine.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

Some young men would get along
better if they had less point to their
shoes and q little more to their CONVEX
sation.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

Sometimes you can pick out fools by
their questions md wise ones by their
answers. And sometimes you can't.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

A factory in which radiuln is being
produced has been opened in Scotland
by a Scotch chemist.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

The chairman of a meeting uses his
fgayei when he wants rapt attention.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

When 4 fool foesa't acc like a fool
~ fools 4 lot ofSothers people.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
His Theory.

Does your husband subscribe to tie
theory that kissing transmits gerrfass'
No; he thinka that germs are most
Ilys transmitted by money, andgis very
careful not to .hnnd me any"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

The ilsasa who iteiex for q thing mSsr
get it by lively scratching.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23

Lots of n who have an aim in life
lack AMBITION.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
. Doris, idea.

Doris father raised chickens, and
Doris understood all about setting
hens. One day she was taken to see
the new litter Of puppies. They were
curly black balls cuddled down beside
q smooth tam mother.
Are those really Emmy Louis pup
PGes?' Doris asked.
Yes, dear she was told
@'Well, then" she remarked Ia a dis
giated tone, @She couldn't have sat on
her 0wn eggs
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
embarrassed.

ssYou ought to- have seen Gladys'fn
der stunning bathing suit
II tiaoughtI DughtFnot to-
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
"A Puzzle

Ece cream is made from mflk sugar
and q II Is bound to be ncslrisIh-
ng.
'.sTkat may Be, but I'm hanged II l
zee hoxv It can <entain heat units.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1917-08-23
No

No Chance.
-Y@s, sir; n hours uninterrupted
reading each evening would make
YOU
"Undsterrupted. Where do you
think my wife Spends her eyenfngx?:'
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-11-24
Taking No Chances

Uncle Joe" Cannon dearly loves IL
circus, especially one with Il large
monkey. a baboon. or an ape. In this
connection he spins Il yarn.
When Il boy, down in North Caro-
lima. Cannon and a cornfield negro
went to Il circus together. Upon IN.
tering the sideshow.. they We're at
tracted by large ape. 1t was an
enormous brute, the largest, Cannon
says, that he ever has seen In his 81
years of existence. The negro vas 50
fascinated that he refused to bulge
from the cage. Long after all the other
folks had passed into the main tent,
the negro was stalled in the sideshow.
Finally, satisfied that nona except
Cannon was about, he approached the
bals.
How be you?" he asked the ape.
No answer. The negro looked
around again, to make certain that he
was not observed by strange eyes.
How is it," he asked again.
Still no answer; and u third time
he spoke to the ape without receiving
a reply. Then he burst out:
Oats right. Don YOU say a single
word. If YOU does, sdey'n have. YOU out
of dat nice straw lan'sa hoe Nm llcuh
hands in minute"
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-11-24
Germans Invisible Aeroplane
Is Newest Terror of the Air

Germany has recently developed an
airplane that is said to be almost in
visible. BY it's use raids may be made
without the raidng machine being ex-
posed to fire from land batteries. II
this achievement is perfected and re-
suits in producing an aerOplane that
cannot be seen the effects are past
calculations. Raiders might descend
to within {. short distance of the earth
and destroy at their will. and still offer
no target to the defenders.
Since the aeroplane became of prac-
teal utility scientists have racked
their brains for some method of rem
dering it invisible. In this new ma
chine of the Germans it is reported
that the wings are wholly invisible at
u distance, only the body remaining as
a mark for the eye of the enemies.
This greatly reduces the visible bulk
of the new plane, and thereby renders
it just SO much harder to see.
When the supply OF cotton began
to run low in Germany numerous sub
stances were tried for the manufacture
of aeroplane wings. Also cotton was
highly inflanmable and the cloth had
a tendency to become water logged
when a plane was caught in the clouds
during "a storm. This made travelling
more difficult.
\ good many materials were tested
without satisfactory results. The
Germans are said to have hit upon the
plan that may ultimately lead to a
wholly invisible aeroplanc. The wings
of these new machines are manufac-
tured out of "a composition which de-
ponds upon a chemical called casein.
This chemical comes from a very COM
mon and somewhat surprising source
-huttermilk. 1t is found in ordinary
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-11-24
rs Years Ago
What Missoula Was Doing
on This Date in 1892.

Tuesday morning after Charley Cur
It's, the newly elected sheriff of Lewis
and Clark county, and gone to the
hotel and to bed from the dance. a
party of about 40 of the best citizens
of Missoula awakened him and ten
dered him the keys to tho city. Cen
eral Curtis says he never struck Il
town like Missoula for hospitality.
Owing to bad weather yesterday the
shooting tournament at the baseball
grounds will be continued today.
There are about $50 fine turkeys in
the pen at the grounds to be disposed
OF yet.
The hotels Of the city are spreading
themselves in the way of preparing
fine dinners for today. The Florence
and Missoula in particular have ar
ranged elegant menus and families
who do not care to go to the trouble
OF preparing big dinners will find
feasts that would suit the most expe-
ricnced gourmet
The peoples party Of Missoula has
about completed arrangements for the
issuance of their new paper
Hutton. one of the. Twenty fifth in
fantry men. who We're reported yes
terday as deserters, returned to the
fort and gave himself up.