davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

pro-German reactionaries will disap- pear. The entente allies will be more strongly cemented than ever. At any rate they are preparing now to make their supreme effort.
 After he voted against the armed ship bill. citizens of Jonesboro, Ark. sent Senator w. F. Kirby 30 pieces of silver. However, they were 10-cent pieces, so the citizens of Jonesboro were not out much Maybe there was something to the Ras- putin legend, after all. Nick Romanoff seems to be just about as popular in Rus sia as Bob" LaF'olette Is in America. China has plenty of coolies but she doesn't consider that any reason why she should fold her hands and let Ger many drown them by the shipload
 As long as King George of England continues to have less power than Pres ident Wilson, he is reasonably safe on his throne.
 A Birmingham fisherman came home the other day and acknowledged that his luck was poor. Boy. page Diogenes!
 
 Liquor Is being sold surreptitiously in Georgia for B quart. That puts Ala bama and Georgia on the same footing.
 * * w
 'Tis pretty question whether the rail- road heads or the employees are more pa triotc Time will have to decide that. railroad strike would play hob with the movies Fans might even be com pelled to see the same picture twice. * * There is certainly no fault to be found with American battleships as photo graphed for the Sunday papers. . Grand Duke Michael didn't hold the re- gency long enough to make many more enemies than he had before. * * * If California will just behave, relations between the United States and Japar may continue friendly.
 Inauguration day bid7sfair to carry of a few more prominent citizens before i is moved up to. April.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
'M ADDY, tell me a tale?
 

1N ADDY, tell me a tale? Where is the man whose boy ha sn't asked him for a story?
 We'll. this is going to be an elephant tale If you are not interested in big game, just skip this.
 This tale has to do with Miss Fancy" It seems that her keeper has been worried because his pets ap- pendix has been giving trouble Tale bearing has gotten lots of folks in sure enough trouble.
 
 Learning about the situation I got George W. Rollins. now with the Great CT Sheesly shows, and for years with Frank Bostick; and Percy Phillips who probably knows more about elephants than any living snowman, to go with me out to the Avondale zoo. Both of these men are animal lovers. They were as keen to see Miss Fancy as the average baseball fan is to go to the first game of the season.
 
 They fired question after question at me to know how old she was, how big she was. how kind she was. and what care was taken of her, etc. Her keeper was on the watchout for us; hurrying up to her house we found her staked out in the open. Hello. old girl," said Percy Phillips, "how are you feeling this bright morn ing?" Miss Fancy" seemed instinct lively to recognize the voice of a friend and stuck out her trunk to be petted.
 Phillips and Rollins both went into ecstasy over Miss Fancys tail. didn't know before that this was a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

mark of beauty in an elephant It seems that the amount of hair on the end of Fancy's tail was unusual and as elephant fanciers they immediately noted it.
 The next thing to attaract their at tention was her splendidly formed head. They made much of it. In fact they were enthusiastic over her many good points. They talked so openly and freely about her attractions that I was afraid they would embrace the dainty miss. I imagined I caught her blushing.- I'm almost sure she game me the wink, as much as to say, "I've got elm going. I'm some little girl"
 They asked many questions about her habits. They wanted to know if she was "fighty." If she was good natured. If she got lonesome. To have over heard the conversation you would have thought they were asking about a woman instead of an elephant
 They were greatly interested in learn ing about the number of children who got to ride Miss Fancy. It made her go up in their estimation to know that she was gentle enough to give pleasure to the little ones.
 They were highly entertained at Miss Fancy's love for the swimming pool. and were sorry to learn that she had been forbidden to take any more baths in it.
 Phillips who is one of the greatest elephant trainers and exhibitors in Amer ica, was curious to know if Miss Fancy had forgotten her old circus stunts. Both Rollins and Phillips gave Miss Fancy careful looking over. and told her keeper many things that will be
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

We are suspicious lot. We know that no man can be honest and carry a diff. ferent umbrella every time it rains.
 We could have improved on nature. We would have fixed things so that the rose would retain it's fragrance as long as the moth ball does.
 It is sad day in the life of an 1S- year-old by when he begins to figure that he would hate to be as old as his daddy and know as little.
 Some married womed haven't enough to do to keep them busy. But it Is diff ferent with the woman who marries a man to reform him.
 And old kind of a man can start a woman talking. But tho man has never been born who could stop her.
 The moment some men get into a store they start hunting for a cuspidor
 Every now and then you will see the man who can drink or let 1t alone, and the man who can't get drunk on beer, rolling home together about a. m.
 When a man returns 10 his home town after a weeks absence, he Is secretly disappointed because there isn't brass band at the depot to welcome him.
 A man can sit up all night and play poker and fell wide awake. But if his wife asks him to go t. a picture show with her, he yawns and claims that he has to work the next day and has tc have some sleep.
 Why do people laugh when a little, thin, shrinking man walks along by the side of a big. fat. aggressive looking wife?
 About the surest way we know of tc lose an affinity is to marry her.
 The trouble of saving up for a rainy day, some men find, Is that it always rains the next day.
 It is hard to understand women. Most of them would rather bo married than b. happy.
 What has become of the old-fashioned man who used hair oil? If nature has given a girl corn fec shape it is an absolute waste of time t try to convince her that knee lengtf skirts and invisible hosiery and wishbone deep waists can lead to pneumonia. We have always wondered why som angry housewife hasn't invented tra, attachment that can be fastened to cigar and that will prevent the ashe' | from getting on the rugs. In lot of cases the honeymoon end long before the wedding tour is finished
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

helpful to him in keeping her in condi- tion.
 They were glad to learn that The Ags- Herald had made 1t possible for the chile dren of Birmingham to have such q big pet for their very own
 One of them asked the keeper if the editor ever came out to see her. Sure" said he. why MT. Barrett thinks a.s much of Miss Fancy as if she was one of the family" It was the keepers pride in his charge.
 I was greatly pleased to hear the show men speak so enthusiastically about the elephantine beauty of Miss Fancy.
 
 They were astonished to know that such splendid specimen was obtained at so low figure Rollins confessed that for several years he has had an eye on Miss Fancy and that if the children of Birmingham ever have to part with Miss Fansy he wants chance to bid on her.
 Avondale park made great appeal to them. They went into rhapsodies over the spring that comes gushing out of the side of the hill. They both hoped that large and permanent zoo was one day to be found on the hillsides.
 If you are 8 tired mother or overworked father. get an afternoon off and take the kiddies out to see Miss Fancy. It will help you and delight them, and give her company.
 Here Is a suggestion. If it meets with the approval of the boys and girls The Age-Herald will let all of the school chill dren guess at the weight of Miss Fancy and give three prizes to the ones mak- ing the closest guess.
 F. S.-Miss Fancy Is now fancy free and out of debt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
Likes Tuscaloosa Spirit

q had practical, personal proof the other day of Tuscaloosa's famous spirit of hospitality" said John Sparrow. "T
 T was down there on business and when I got through found I had about seven minutes in which to catch my train taxi was my only hope, but I could not find one just then and was about to resign myself to missing the train when a young gentleman in an elegant car said: Jump right in; I'll get you there in time. And he did. During the swift ride to the station I learned that my transportation host bore the name of Jemison-a name very well known to all Alabama"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
EATING ON THE STAGE
n the Pittsburg Dispatch.

TIUlII- tll6 IIttSUurg IISpHtCH.
 You may imagine that an actor enjoys thes meal he sits down to in a. play. but be it ever so savory the most loathed food on record is that served on the stage. When one has to eat and drink the same thing six nights Tn the week and twice during matinees it becomes monotonous and actors declare they can- not look the stage food in the face with out 1t nauseating them In Turn to the Right" Mrs. Bascom serves her prodigal son and the two crooks with a real meal. "Muggs." one of the crooks drink his glass of milk with especial gusto. Last fall. when the milk strike was on. 1t was impossible for the prop erty man to get milk, so he had to give them condensed milk thinned with water. "It was awful" groaned 'Muggs,'' re-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
Ammissona Wants
 Dr. Lang Back

A STRONG fight is being made by &A the Anniston Star and influ- ential citizens to have Dr. Geroge Lang, vice president and professor of history at the Southwestern Presby- terian university, Clarksville, Tenn, appointed president of the Alabama Presbyterian college at Anniston. The E educational board of the Alabama Presbyterian church will meet at Montgomery, March 20, to consider naming a president of the institution.
 pr. Lang was formerly connected with the Alabama Presbyterian col lege and so deeply entrenched himself in the affections of Anniston people and so impressed them with his ability as a constructive educator that they are anxious to have him return Speaking of him, the Star says:
 During the year that he held a
 chair in the college here George
 Lang endeared himself to thou
 sands of men, women and young
 people of the city. His place in
 the social, educational, religious
 and civic life of Anniston was
 unioue He lived outside the class
 room, as well as in it, and in that
 way became an asset to Anniston
 and to the college at once. He has
 been greatly missed since he
 went away, and the Anniston
 star believes the people of this
 city would welcome the opportuni-
 tv to get him to return here.
 The Star states further that the Presbyterian college at Anniston is tat a critical period in it's history where it must either go forward con < siderably next year or perish" Dr Lang, who is familiar with local con ditions and is scholar of ripe at fainments, an alumnus of severa noted universities at home and abroad is believed to be the ideal man to build
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
DYING CHRISTIAN TO HIS SOUL

By Alexander Pope.
 Vital spark of heavenly flame. Quit. oh, quit this mortal frame! Trembling, hoping. lingering, flying; Oh, the pain, the bliss of dying! Cease, fond nature. cease thy strife And let me languish into life Hark, they whisper; angels say. Sister spirit, come away. What is this absorbs me quite, Steals my senses. shuts my sight Drowns my spirit. draws my breath? Tell me. my soul! can this be death? The world recedes; It aisappears; Heaven opens on my eyes; my ears
 With sounds seraphic ring Lend, lend your wings! I mount! I fly Q grave! where is thy victory2
 death! where is thy sting?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

passive, race. They are as putty to the white folks, If they be with good people they are good. But you can make of him an honest man or thief. How few ne- groes are other than they have been made? How few of them have been un- faithful to a trust when they have been educated to it?
 Our old cook, in my childhood, raised from slavery days in the family of my mothers mother, was the best in the world How well I remember the days she made potlicker for us five little ones and how I wish had some now.
 That dear old woman is entitled to a tombstone high enough to reach the skies above, rather than the simple one we children erected to mark her grave.
 And there are, and have been. thou sands like her.
 And of the automatic pianol Perfect rot
 Have you ever been to a negro church, and heard the melody of their soulful tunes? The symphony of their appeals reach right up to Heaven. When the old and the young chant together under the leadership of the old Black Nanny and the white whiskered old Uncle, the mel- ody reverberates and swels and sym pkonizes throughout the girders and slabs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
How poor nm instrument May do an evil deed.
 Antony and Cleopatra.
 < < *

BEGINNING THE DAY - God grant that the ancient verities shall keep their lustre for my soul. May truth md honor and courage never grow stale. Forbid that love and sacrifice should ever become trite in my thought or speech. Let me brood over them until they shall shine above the brightnesa of the sun. In Cbrist's name. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
WHY THE JA1LoR WAS LETT

From the Rochester Democrat and
 Chronicle.
 driven men to desperate expendients in the city of Birmingham They en- tered the city jail storehouse and carried away 46 24-pound sacks of flour three sacks of feed, six 50-pound sacks of meal and over 100 pounds of meat. The reason, presumably, why they did not carry away the jailer was be- cause in their opinion he was not edible.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
Illiteracy in Next
 Federal Census

WITH reasonable progress in pub w lie school education in Ala bama this year and next we should fir/a large falling off in the number of illiterates in the federal census of 1920. The percentage of illiteracy in the United States in 1910 was " Iowa had the lowest--1.7 per, cent and Nebraska next to the lowest 1.9 per cent. Louisiana had the high est percentage of illiterates-29. South Carolina came next with 25.7 and Alabama next with 22.9.
 Now that the compulsory school at tendance law Is soon to go into effect virtually no children of school age will grow up unable to read and write. Only those who for sufficient reasons, such as lack of accommoda- tions, will be exempt from attending school next fall. The 3-mill school tax will be voted in most of the coun-
 within the next eighteen months and hat will greatly advance popular edacltion.
 Eye counties, including Jefferson, have already voted the tax levy, and elaes .ons are pending in six others. Sis five or seventy additional school W ings are to be erected in this --u sy at once at cost of $400, 1000, and $1 100000 worth of school build ings in Birmingham as soon as archi- tects can draw the plans. This great forward movement is the result of the new tax levy.
 By the time the next census is taken the iIliteracy percentage should be cut down not less than one-half, and by 1880 it will be near the vanishing point.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

as the Germans had undoubtedly found our range.
 At dinner that night Matania. rumpling his hair with excited hands. suddenly shouted: Fool that I ann Why didn't save that mud d-covered drawing and have 1t published to show how near I came to being killed todayn'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
MAKING IT UNANIMOUS

MAKING IT UNANIMOUS Tis hard to be pacifical When everyone you meet In crowned hall. or trolley car, Or on the busy street, Declares he hates the Prussian clan : And all their wicked ways, And hopes we'll be at war with them In less than 30 days. And peace at any price has, lost Whatever hold 1t had The statesmen who were strong for it Are chastened now and sad. One need not be a jlngo nor A Wall street tool to say, "Defend the Starry Banner and The grand old U. s. A"
 SEEMED LONG Mrs. Gabblous paid me lengthy visit today
 How long did she stay?" Twenty minutes"
 'Do you call that long?" You don't know Mrs. Gabblous, do your" AN EMPTY DREAM T hear Dubson is thinking of marrying an heiress."
 ''Yes. Dubson began to think of mar rying an heiress about 20 years ago and shouldn't be at all surprised if that were his last conscious thought"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

calling the period. At the tea party in "old Lady sl'' Nancy mas line; Its mighty tasty. For this Lee Kugel has to provide her with different kinds of cakes each day or so, yet she says she never wants to go to another tea party outside of the theatre as long as she lives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

Has the Monarchy
 Come for Good?
 ID USSIA has long been famed for UN her statesmen, painters, musi- cal composers and writers. Her liberal leaders have now developed a new talent. that of conducting great revolution with little bloodshed.
 While reports of all the things that have happened at Petrograd in the last few days are conflicting, it is fact that the Romanoff dynasty has toppled and that the people, through their representatives in the Duma, for the first time feel themselves potent factors in the government of mighty nation.
 It is the purpose of the liberals to rule Russia through committees for the time being. If their plans work well a modern commonwealth may be established. If dear old China can get along without an Emperor why not Russia?
 It would be like miracle, however, if the Slav empire could rest satisfied long without a monarchy, for the art of self-government cannot be ac- quired suddenly. Grand Duke Michael says he is willing to ascend the throne if the people want him for their mon arch, but that is what they do not want. He is brother of the abdi- cated Nicholas, and the Romanoff dynasty is absolutely repudiated. r. Intrigues there will be and assas- sinations will become common again, but if Russia ever has another sov- ereign his power will be extremely Limited and he will claim no kin with Romanoff.
 In the meantime Russia will give a better account of herself in the war
 than she had been giving of late. The
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
TINED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE CRITICS OF ! THE NEGRO AND TELLS OF HIS HUMAN SIDE

of that old church until it makes music like the violin of an Ole Bull.
 And yet one could say that in these souls there is not the making of men and women. Of the pure of heart any thing can be made. Of laughter and song and melody and goodness and gem tleness education may bring forth the best support of greater race.
 Should anyone say that one bone-headed and fIat-footed criminal negro, entitled to the asylum or the penitentiary, should be the millstone around the neck of race.
 There be bad whites and bad blacks, but the majority of both, with opportu mites, become of the good.
 It is our duty of the south to aid and educate the negro-to help the successors of Booker Washington and Council to make good citizens rather than criminals of them.
 If you don't believe the negro is an artist as well as an honest workman, drive by that little country home of mine on Shades mountain this afternoon and look at the childrens swimming pool overhanging the bluff It was built by Shorty the blackest and best old ne- gro in Alabama
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
7,A}d3oaea

TOO SLOW How do you like your new chauffeur. Chugwtz?' 'He seems a reliable fellow'' "Yes?"
 "Still I'd rather pay a fine for speed ing occasionally than miss every train l try to catch on 10 minutes notice"
 GETTING IT OVER WITH T love her dearly, but can't get up enough courage to propose My boy, wait until summer comes, 'ewen?"
 Lead her out to hammock. The chances are that she will ask innocently, will this hammock support us both?'' 'Go on'' That will be your cue to answer, don't know about the hammock. but I'd be glad to-
 A JARRING NOTE This movie is supposed to show among other scenes fashionable, dinner party.'' 'Tve noticed that" If were producing photoplay of this sort would show the star tho proper way to use his knife and fork"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

Now doth the busy bard indite A breezy little fishing rhyme; | And all who read what he doth write | Aver he should be doing time. PROOF TO THE CONTRARY Tt is whispered by the neighbors that
 the Jobbles are living entirely on break fast food"
 "Jobble is a proud man. If he hears that story he'll have his revenge, all right
 What will he do?" Hell probably order his cook to fumi- gate the neighborhood with the odor of fried steak and onions
 TIME FOR IT Genial sun and Skies of blue, Signs that spring will Soon be due. Tell me, if you Had a wish, Would 1t be to Go and fish? Birmingham Age-Herald. Nossiri we have No ambsh For to amble Out and fish.
 Here in Georgy, Listen, mate, They charge three bucks A quart for bait. Macon Te1agranh
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18
Take Care of the Rubes

Deputy United States Marshal Will Ford had his pockets picked at the street car nival given for the benefit of the Confed- crate Veterans the other night. MT. Ford was telling the circumstance to his as- sociates in the federal building, and Dis trict Attorney Robert N Bell came across with this: Well, I'm heartily in favor of doing all we can for the old veterans, and the show. I understand, was a big suc- cess. I have no objection to holding a street carnival for such good cause, but do think ample protection should be furnished for the rural patrons"
 And MT. Ford didn't say a word.
 Prudence Ncff Praises EIman
 The feature of Mischa Elman's reel tai the past week that appealed to me most was the splendid programme he gave us'' said Prudence Neff, Birmingham's well known and popular pianiste.
 T consider Mr Elman's recital the most beautiful that I have ever heard given in this city; in the first place, he uluH ldhe us TOT a set ol 1noilycouuleS down here like lot of the others have done, and he didn't try to put Us off with a hackneyed old programme, but he gave us just as good programme as he would have given in New York at Car negie hall or anywhere else. He never did for a moment come down from the heights He was superb He is 8 master of tone. big lines, majestic expression and erical presentation. His was display Of true genius, and I enjoyed hearing him as I have enjoyed few other violinists in the world"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

FIT PUNISHMENT Now doth the busy bard indite breezy little fishing rhyme; And all who read what he doth write Aver he should be doing time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

up the institution. Annistonians are proud of their college and naturally do not wish to zee 1t retrograde. Has the Monarchy
 Come for Good?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-03-18

pro-German reactionaries will disap- pear. The entente allies will be more strongly cemented than ever. At any rate they are preparing now to make their supreme effort.