The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-04-26
learn to play "Tipperary" on his jews
harp and his tongue slipped.

iSoiH W pay iippefaiy Oh HIS Je"
s harp and his tongue slipped.
i 2 2 z
A 3-year-old boy became intereste
in peculiar noise, and asked what
r was. "A cricket, dear" replied hi
mother. "Well," remarked the it'll
] chap, che ought to get himself oiled.
r z & &
We are gratified to learn that J
Ogden Armour is spading up his from
yard and planting potatoes. But hi
would stir up more enthusiasm by
lowering the price of ham and bacon
4 Z 4
Pop" inquired little Bill, "what
am a millennium ?" "Shop said his
parent. "Doan' yo' know what a mil
lennium am, chile? It's jes' about de
same as a centennial, on'y it's got mo-
legs"
1t is said that the dollar once boast
ed of its superior value to the cent,
declaring the latter unworthy to be
in its company. "Ah," replied the
cent, you may be more valuable, but
attend Sunday school every Sun
day, while you are seldom seen there"
4 4 4
People found out that they could
get along without overdrawing at the
bank, and we are optimistic enough
to hope some day they will learn they
can do as well without having over
drafts at the grocery store and the
printing office.
what was all that cheering |
heerd as | rid past your place last
night?" inquired an acquaintance.
you folks sorter holding a loyalty |
meeting and whooping it up for the
Old Flag?" "Not precisely" replied
Old Bill Misgivens. "My Ia children
have got the whooping cough"
Now that a Georgia city has added
a stomach pump to it's detective de-
with a view to aiding in
he detection of violators of the "bone
Try" prohibition law, it is not unlikely
hat every well regulated home will
rave its pump in the medicine chest.
husbands who stay out late will be
more careful when they know their
wives can pump the facts out of them.
q Z &
at is my opinion" remarked Old
Bill Misgivens, "that lying is simply
form of insanity. The real, habit
al liar just imagines things are so
hat amt so just like any other luna
ic and tells them for the truth. There
'as Tiger Jack, for instance. Tiger
ack was one of the most picturesqe
nd earnest liars | ever knew, and
hen Jack was in his prime it wasn't
afe to dispute one of his lies. He
'as some fighter as we'll as liar and
idn't want any galoot to dispute his
ord. One day Jack and l were upl
ear Chamberlain basin when Jack .
ent up to big pine tree and looked
it earnestly for quite while. Then h
e says, Here was where l had about II
lie closest call a Teller ever had, l II
,ckon.' What was it?' says |. Why II
iys Tiger Jack, 'one day | was hunt II
lg elk up here when | wounded a u
all. He was the biggest bull l ever
re. Now / want to tell you that
hen you wound an elk bull and
on't put him down and out there
something doing and l see at once
lat it was time for Tiger Jack to
mt for shelter. | saw this here
ee about 100 yards away and made
r it. These here professional foot
GERS didn't have nothing on me.
ade that 100 yards in just five
conds flat. And mind you that bull
as right on my track. He was so
use that | could feel his hot breath
owing on the back of my neck as
ran. ! just did make it to this tree
d lodged behind it and commenced n
circle round it with the bull cir
ng right after me. But he couldn't II
IN quite as fast as | could and | H
med a little on him till at last l II
S just opposite to him, him on one
e of this tree and me on the ither. II
en- l commenced lodging to the
hit and left first looking at the
| on one side of the tree and then H
m the other. That confused him H
/ sort of forgetting himself he n
Irged right at the tree. You see
t the trunk of this tree is four II
t across. Well, I'm a telling you
t the head of that bull was so big
{ one horn went on one side of
tree and the other horn on the
err side. Right there was where
err Jack did some lightning think n
Yes, sir, just jumped and
bbed around that tree and caught
bull by both horns. AS soon as