davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
A. New Trade.

Skeets-I don't see you on the mes
senger gang now, Skinny. Where are
you workin'?
Skinny-Oh, I've got good job with
u dog fancier. When lady comes in
and buys a dog I teach her how tub
whistle.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
Simple Valentines.

The letter carrier did not always
have the task of delivering the love
greetings. The first valentines were
simple indeed. They contained moth.
ing more, in fact, thar the name of the
object of affection.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08

spoonful and il it doesn't straighte@E
you right up and make you feel flag
and vigorous want you to go back ews
the store and get your money. DO8-
sons Liver Tone is destroying tA@
sale Of calomel because it is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable, therefOCw.
it cannot salivate or make you sick
I guarantee that one spoonful Of
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean y0mT
bowels of that sour bile and consk3
pated waste which is clogging yong
system and making you feel miserable
| guarantee that a bottle Of Dodson'R
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam
lily feeling fine for months. Give it TO-,
your children. 1t is harmless; doesn't.
grippe and they like its pleasant tassA-
ADV.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
Probably Not.

Will the smoke inspector please ex
plain why so much of, the soft coal
SCOT settles ON the wfite-haired dog?
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
The Reason.

Teacher-What's your fathers name,
Bennie2 .-
Bennie-Same as mine-Watkins.
Teacher-But what is his first
name? What does your mother call
him?
Bennie-She don't call him nothin'-
she likes him.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08

Sore Eyes. Blood-Shot Eyes. Watery Eyes
sticky Eyes, all healed promptly with night
ly applications of Roman Eye Balsam. Adv.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
Not Scr Her,

He--Will you share my lot?
She1No; I do not care,to break wild
land.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08

New York city entertained 643 con-
ventiOnS in 1916.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08

At the Inquiries Bureau.
Excited Tourist-Information giyeL@
out here?
Tired Attendant-It has.-Yale Ree--~
ord. .-,. --..
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
THOSE AWFUL
CRAMPS
Suggestions that may save
Much Suffering

Msrvsville, Pa.-''For twelve years
Uttered with terrible cramps. /
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
q KODAKS & SUPPLIES
w. N. u, CHARLOTTE, NO. 6-1stZ-

WHICH arc .A4|A-'S the seat OF haY
trouble. DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescrfp--
ton regulates and promotes all the pr0per~
functions of womanhood, enriches th9
blood, dispels aches and pains, melan-
ccholy and nervousness, brings refresh~
Ing sleep, and restores health anM >
strength. It cures those disorders and,
arrangements incident to womanhood.
A we'll known agent which can By
procured at all drug stores is wPleasam1
Pelle ts," made up of the May-apple, the
dried juice of the leaves of aIoeS and the
root of jalap. First put out by DIR. PiereE-
nearly fifty years ago. ADV.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08

If you want good neighbors, be On@'
yourself.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1917-02-08
GIFTS IN PROPULSION
One Should Have Little Difficulty
in Making Choice of Pleas
ing Valentine.

wv YHEN Valentine day comes
M along new variations of the
old theme are shown in the
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06

Ga ct MeoIcm al SEN sitcrrilitc
Riaaho9 fIagct oucr, al (uifcrnc pou
iii Rsucrtoqt / rusinf @olcu buultc
orcr 10000 &oIaftcr, itcg en- Eau.
gcrmoniit pco Ram Seine rem on
ia: "Ce bar life brult Rcbct nof;
allie al Dem buroc uorct bunqt
REQ Oi5ic Cro iprang cuhucr
9iilsoulsmauo al polit Mace iuaucl.
iom ANDRE SIaUoncr ircm ior at Al
8aatampcu Oeu iortjcntc Strui Bro.
ilocntcn iii iaoui0t hiuorct Gam.
m%cnitpoct, men maottc 1Gue 0}ooct.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06
Bismarck, N. Dali
en- ncopcnoig
ErisforDpielie
paa SDmaifimer
ira ocm lite Smli al.

Sum SOlNc ri Den iOrtinttc Gu.
gang / Griiernc pan Hnamnterialer,
ium IDENTITIES uco SGbrifutioncn al
"NneUcuucu" Spmnitiner, blir ri
mot til, ira lite Suli al, at iOrbSic
Eriicu meo $3.50 iOr ale NiObeIerS
&cOtUmmen0c.
vi f%Orctor oeHnc BrisiOrboiclic
6piit uaicrnc men alli0cucl / OcH Sur'
Uiouina at U9rc &unOcr better nil
bctalc bette lilc Siurg euo ut bli til.
6uot Sumnitlner al riuacre aunlitct
Cuo DC Wiaifiucr, Vi / nureUls bar
iOIQt til EunoSmruo EnuOet Oucr.
&i haubcr Oerfor, at mar &c tran.
acr en- Sumnifin, &c Oa a~nifaiicr
Gem eli ri &c me NUOcller al "0ns.
%ucHncn", Oeu melt pupulGrc Waitlu
blGuot ~SnuOSmrno Amcrifa. Zen
or % blir frcmoclco Den biligitc Oh
beoite ny to Date SnmnitiH paH War.
tccrt.
3. PUBL. CO.,
DEBORAH, Iowa.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06

&ffe rGrc pes 6oIf, iom ipcfIlc.
rcr fig trinbc "a ieoe / IgOcOorcr,
@r. Hcooftgr, Get hmoc Ouffc
TororacIic, ON Iarmcrc / Norouc.
lien, iom iolgtc oct mcitc al i'm 6uc
De for minorc enc $50 Or. @llibrl.
blcu minOct ON, at en- Goic Tlour
poo IS Eluo nj toitcr ca. / Coll.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06

Snbc ira Stueu peo Sioen al
Ico igicn Sen oorifc Siticioimca
iticnuc ca beitio&uISc Nelo0i, 81
I'm Rcnp rurncoc uuiIfoarlipt
me0, mems bnm trufte. at III, "a
guouuc por hos oeul tunoe huul
"a hcnOc& Wauo oog boIoe Stl
nlco Noab / SlCrtet ~ tro0S alt.
Inuo 9uoo&guur0.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06
Oct o%ienfunonc Barn.

Oei SIeIt'uiloiS o0ih'
"SiI Sloen % SpGroet er gtpet.
er aipet al @elgienS 2ano,
CO Slpstning os frpicnoe digger
CT auinoe og Barn % Wano.
Sai Soiimun.
Secemberoagen or MORT % Nib.
@inoen Ipsber ON 8ooebicrnerne,
Enberlig fugtig og i'm, Iom ON Den
bar label meo Gleftricitet. St
bar regnet for liot iioelr, % Sp8-
terneS imaa guile SIuS ipetler Jig /
ipiGenDe G~langelinier / ben paooe
Stenbro. SporoogueneS Banter
nsr brirger andre Saruer root,
bIaat og grsrt, en- broget SpSoirt-
ming, iom giper Bette @aOebiueoc
i ben frembrpoenbe Sfumring en-
egen fantaitiif Sfjenbeo.
Ser err Srpngicl / Spen. Sit
IctoItiningerne i%traaler ira DC op'
lutte gutiffer. Sor ct flD9tlgt SlEt
er olt, Ion Ser pleier at ppre Dc
foreaaaenoe Nar, naar Den tore
Set nGrner fig. Nen ben, lont
fer nsiere til, mprfer bog, at Der
err en- Soranbring, Ell unoer'trem
al Sppnoing % llro.
Ser er arig / Serben. Sg man
Inter upilfaarligt, Iom ON man
aiennem 8ooerne3 2arm funoe
bsre @ienlpOen al be fierne aano'
ners 9renen. Nan Ter op paa
Sin1mclen, boor en- bleg Waone
fommer irem meuem TO oripenoe
Sfper, mems man tPnfer paa, at
hcnne Waane / andre 2onOe lpier
pper al @alplaoIerneS Grit.
@lobipIgernes monotone Hoab
Ipber: "gngelife frantic, tp'fe,
italicnIfe pg r~usiiife Ipiier!"
gn Game itnnoler % pe8er paa
"2e Sigaro", Tom itiffer op al
gluoI9lgerenS Woppe. 8a bun i
@pttc mos en- lioeu Sclpmpnt bar
faaet bet iranife @loo, farer benoe$
elf oper Spolterue, mems o.
IpinfIe Spnoer, Ser bolocr @lo0et,
ifiplper Tom | SSeber.
Sun err liben al Gert meo ct
blegt % inalt 9tnli8t, boict 9tGIc
20 Itorc merfe Zine. st islp9raat.
frelet Spar trGnger no un0er Der
forte SlsiIabat. Nae benoe3 @e.
rGgelIer er uroligc og bilrti9e, ol
naar bltn / SrGngiler fonmer I'll
at itebe en- forbignuenbe paa SCR.
met, bsier bun Sopebet nteb l1b,
isat S~siligbeb % mliTler ct bGnl
ret: "8aroon, Winlieltr - Tar
son, Wabume ...."
@a, biSie Ipiier! De bar pprc'
hcibes Gins Hpoiel be iioIte firt
Iooneoer. Sg bog fnn bun iffl
Iabe bore at lpIe ben1, babe 3,
iranIfe og De engelIfe, ionl er al
fer gallle, naar De fonlmer benz,
ibenoe, % sc bnnife. bpor bur
fun meo geIppr itoper lig igien
nenl til Weningen.
Ger fer intet al SetDoning
beoer oet iig. SGrera bar grape.
ig ncb / 2~ebegrape og Itao'
rpcrfor Dinonoen Tiger % Wlaanc
ser igienncm. Wten for bcnoe 6a'
set getponing. Srn pe0, at Del
fjpmpe$ ON Sen IioIte &eIt al ben
heS 6porelanoS SorO, % at ben
reS eneIte Ssn er Ser ct Ste0 bel
Sronten / Sc bclgilfe &pffcr. Wfel
ON ban leper enolui, ON ban G,
iitano I'll at tGnfe paa Iinc 6or
Glore, Ser moa boloe Sltl ion
lo~noilpgtigc / en- frenlmeO @p, cle'
ON ban mooife / Bette Gieblif Zig
ger 500 bcrneoe poo Be ilomifu
Sletter unoer Sen lapc % MORT
Iinterbimmel, set peO bun fife.
Mubamc Icmp iolbcr 9loOc
Iammen, topper set / MtltIien o.
saar oper NaaolbuSp!ooicn ll0oi
moo Geiterbro.
Sitn tGnfer paa Ben Slllioog s.
hlrn % heuoes Vtano forloo Srp3
lei for of reiic til 9onmurf, hpo
De bapoe aftolt at trGffe Iamnc'
meb noglc al oere5 8enner paa c
@abeiteo moro for Seliinger.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06
S~Maafprt0IlInger % bistorier.

De imaa 6iuare iuriqt uopcgeoc De
melt tiItrrffenoe Sing / Den irt
iteuOe llOitiling. Zen belgiite Ia
NE ieIte Saarcrne brGnoc paa fine
ainocr. SioIigere bapoe 9uonne
funnel faa auc line imaa EnIter
cpipIOt iom biSie IpffeIige Sern.
0{en M - eicoe bun Rag oper
Soucoet, baunc blm @reo NOT at
ipiIc2
2iot eitcr gif 8rlt Rcmp op oo
Sroppcu ! set @l@, buor bum %
henbcs Wfano 6oehc / ct Ecnliouat.
Ncoe poa ierItc Snl bar CT @nblro
ifpro nlco at o~iIepcrc ct SulctrT.
@ntrcosrcn Itoo aoben, % TO Imoo
@arnehoue0cr tittcnc lt0 / oct Eic.
blif. bun off forbi. Ger blco
iubIct bolt pes Suuet al @rancu
- met SEN Ianoflp1tigc5 Grim
foIot tlngerc cr,O ier, ga Bun lang
Iontt gif uiocrc op iii on0cn Sal.
Ger par nlerft / Strcn, ga bur
fom illb. @un funoe netop finite,
Of brlbc5 Nauo ioo I%ommcnhut.
fen / ben itorc 2pneitol peo &ills
Duct. Set iioite Go9ifiGr Ipite
npcr hans Saor, Tom bar blcuct
fuloItpnoig boiSt / bi>ie Maonocr.
San oreieOc Soueoet ON moo Oer
inotrpoeube.
"@r set sig, M}orgucritc? Oh
bar bel irtct mt bert?"
"9tei @altI. Sntet ON bore
to $50"
9a Gltn bnpoe toget Ssiet al,
fom bun ben % latte Jig ligcoocr'
for BAN. Sun itrafte Saoroen no
og rerte iogte pe0 bans, Der loo
folb % Hap pao bans anG. San
Iaa op meO ct li6et SniI, ser bar
Iom Ell Sof for benoc3 aiprteQn.
% Sc blep ii00enoe touie, mems
Wsrfet iGnfe0c fig tGttere % tGt.
tcre ooer Stiren.
s set tiliteoenoe Gprclic bier
ser Iltnget % ipiaet. Get par er
Solmc. WtaOanle Hemn hopOe bnrt
Sen ier, % bum bapoe lprt at Tor.
itud Sr6ene.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06

foriGrbeIig, al eli Reroififfelie ifaI
ia lila Otogt ouer en- Ration / Dor
opIpitc Sio, al oeune iammc Ration
itornrr no opcr fine @rrnier paa
ale aonter % iprcOcr 6oriGroelie,
EoclGg9clie % Sdmuer oucr Ratio
ncr o. 6oIfcilog, Tom tntct seller on.
iteoc enc at iaa Ieue % Uirte | 6rcO
Oct uitpl0igc @CIgien bleu fnilt, og
9eioItniugcu glort I'll Slauer % Oct.
Tom urrre er. 100000 friitne Mr..
meuiere lfoI pGre l~torp0oet, en0oa
oe intel gait gioroe. OtaleltGtcl al
@uoa 0aooe, @llbeIm oeu guoen,
funoc Ia biuorct Wtproeriet bare ue0
at aiue SuItanen ct &iuf men @iI.
belm aau life Ginfct. Ger blcu no.
get tnult, % "tnuic, tmIic" CT ct
Sr0, ser tIot los ira 9@jlhelm5 at.
beige &Gbcr. Sans Su'titibc fnuitc
M uulig et Sfolcbu2 WIot al Barn
/ uofuuten al &ou00u. IUrt, huor
gIoo "anuicrcu" blcO / tit Sicrtc. "a
ban nj bore ont ocuue &eItcaicrniug
Nuucruc % &anOalcrne uar GulIc
iammenIi9uet mco &Silbclm % bans
Norocr. Get er / Sanohc0 tine Erul
ter, Seller WiIbcIm5 GncuoiOaimrc
bar ircmbragt, Set tuifc Golt har
ingcu Auoel / tit Yan0a Stprc; men
oct tnife 6olf fan til inpcn0e on iioit
fomnle Ill at iao beoc baorot Tor ben
Siug, at DC bare blin0t lpirrt0c Som.
mau0o iitehcnior al oiiTttc lin Nci.
Ter, Ser, uuar alt fommCr til alt,
moo'fe bill uiie iig utiIrcQueIig. Get
IfuI0c life unorc mig, ON SiItoricr
fommcr iii at berctte Tor pore 81.
tcrfommerc, al 0emuc ~ioriUrocItdt
&rig bIcp lat iQoug al en- Gn1uul09.
tcllcr OF en- stiff moltbtgjUrliNg
@cucroIcr og StorpoIitifcrc, "a nt
aciicrcu leo al Stormuuo5Qalifut
% 0erior ioo meaet Iettere bIcu 81
piIIig Gcoifab ! &c ioupittighco5loiC
Ecrioner3 @Unher. Niitoricu tar
iltct onoet unbifuI0c aciiercn mc>
ior, buoo feet cr, ems at ban fanif,
life ioritoN, bpoo ban aior0c, ga 5ar
Loo NcIucoc los oucr &orocrilc.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06
"Ieilig cr Soroer
prGqtig er @ltoS SimnCl,
ifien er Siplen3 IilgrimSaong.

prpqtig er @ltoS Simrnel,
itien cr SiGlen3 Gilgrim5Qong. :"
SIM Iltffcoe u~bilfaarlig. No, ser
par Sioer bpor set iao no, iom ON
Spiet pur iluffct baaoc poa ,Sorocr
% / SimmelerL % $iIc8rim59ou.
gen blep iao ltenOcli9 tltnel -
0fen Ioa 9iolot oet netop ON life
at 9ipe tabt 80.
Ger blcp ringet noe poa Gntrr.
oeren. SRI 9tcnlD tpltftc life poo
Of lltffe op, Ser fom BOG oloriQ
GiGIter I'll bcrtbc Der / Sen fren,
meoe 30.
2an9iomnlc. fist i~iotfenoe Grin
Loo neO 40 0anqen. Get bar iuQ.
tens Sen tcoloaiife StlOent, ION
bococ ligeopcrfor, o. Iou oltiO ali
nrco bro0ercoe WorQenifo bientmc
Sans Elt0oclbuno bipfic0c ct Tal
8anqe.
Mco ct Hap 1ru Rcmp fin
GLANDS Saonb % reiitc Jig op, ID.
rigt Iuttenbe.
@uao bar set for ct Spruq, Sc,
loo bcrlOe? &nr set life Irouif
i~Dngcnoc, fuiorcn0c 6ranif? 90
2tcmmernc fjenotc bun 6,n
fife?
Geren gif op. Toa Sprifclcr
ItoO Ell bei, moger og foutet apin
ocititfclIc % Ell li0en merfeie,
Eige, butS tlrn9c og roQct fIoOIco,
Set Iau u6, iom ON set life pal
net I'll beIloe.
Irlt Hentp n0itootc ct Sfrig ol
brc0tc Nrmenc ito.
"Yuounc - Nponne!"
So, oct bar pirfeIig bcnoc. Gc
bar uirfcIi0 Doonnc, iom BIN
holbt / inc 2lrmc. Sffc ct Santa
Iibiueoe ifobt al henoc3 IromumJ
% 2Gn9iler, men en- lcpenOc IiNcl
Rigc, finn - 0cauprrc. - meae
tpnOcre % ipinflcrc emo ier, lang
blegere % mco ct ltotrpf / Zincne
ser uiitc, at bun bouOc uoItonc
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1917-07-06

Mrs. 9iitc0oI Clricn0e / en- 9(ui$):
"Gr set life ioruuocrIi9, &ona3 buao
icq Der IGicr - at Sc / 9(uitraIicn ct
Stco bar irm0et en- 6uQL iom bar ii.
re BEN. ann on i%fiannc, huorfor
Oen1c TlrQI cr bIct ilabt mcO oobbclt
ioo NANCE Ben Tom GuQIc / Glmiu
ocliQhc02"
N}r. &iitcooI: "Ii@ic 5rlIc cr
rimcligUi2 EoIitifcrc, airrriuq. oQ
pes at uUrc ioo uiomocrIig bcl0ig
u0rlitct al fin Sfnbcr uiIoc Sc mco
Sctbeo urre iitono til at Itoa poa
bea1c Siocr al Sfiqorocu poa en- Oh
Iumnlc Si0."
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06
How to Make Toast.

An expert eater of 80 years in his
little book for lnvalids puts this mat
ter Of making toast In a very satisfac-
tory way. He says: MANY seem
to think they have made toast when
they brown the outside Of a slice of
bread7 Have they7 The object of
making toast is to eyaporate all the
moisture from the bread, and holding
a slice over the fire to SINCE does not
accomplish this; 1t only warns the
moisture. making the inside of the
bread doughy and decidedly indi-
gestible. The true way OF preparing
1t is to cut the bread into slices a
quarter OF an inch thick trim of all
crust. put the slices in a pan or plate,
place them In the oven. which must
not be too hot, take them out when a
delicate brown, and butter at once"
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06

WI hated the woman and he want
"a to have his revenge on me in
death. That's why"
His anger Gained Nellie little; It
showed her that at least she had the
power to awaken some emotion in him.
even If 1t was not love.
81 want you to marry her, Ned"
she sobbed. "Then will wait for you
all my life. Maybe she'll die some
day. She can't live to be more than
ninety and then you'll be seventy and
/ shall be sixty-two."
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06

while they were praislng the hero
and when Williams opened his eyes
and said quite anxiously and impul-
sively before everyone:
"Francesp
I'm here, Tom" She went over to
the big couch where he lay and gave
him her hands, even with Miss Brock
ways eyes upon them.
Everybody safer"
Everyone" she assured him.
"It was only that blamed laundry
stove" he muttered, "but the smoke
got me by the throat"
The doctor turned around and softly
left the parlor. After him went Miss
Brockway and Mrs. Bardwell. and the
rest, last of all Roland, and left the
two from Ksntucky alone.
The ex-hero was silent, and in the
front parlor there was silence, too. un-
til Frances came out with a little hap
py smile on her face md wee smU5ge
Of black on her cheek.
Copyright. 1917. by the Mcclure Newspa-
per Syndlcate)
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06
NOTICE OF sHERIFFs SALE

State of Colorado.
County of Prowers. IS.
In the District Court
Peter Hoffman.
Plaintiff.
s. F. Kingston and Moses Kingston.
Defendants
Under and by virtue Of a decree and
ers and state OF Colorado. on the LIST
dessreed es that there is due the above
named plaintiff. Peter Hoffman. from
the s3oye on namee aee certsin promssory
Four hundred. fifty.eight and no-100
from the 1st day OF May. A; D. 1917.
at the rate OF eight per cent Is per
WHEREAs. in and by virtue OF said
decree and order OF sale, l, the under
signed. 1; c. Downing. Sheriff OF
lied. empowered and directed to ex-
pose for sale certain property herein
ter giving full notice of the time and
place of said sale according to the
course and, practice OF this court and
on execution for the purpose of realiz-
ing the amount SO found to be due the
Of suit and expenses OF said sale:
NOW, THEREFORE,. Public Notice
,s hereby Je6 EVEN thsf hSiv % on si7 Msig7nday "
the hour of ten o'clock. in the forenoon
of said day. at the West front door of
the County Court House in the City OF
Lamar Prowers County, Colorado. sell
at public auction for cash in hand to
the highest and best bidder the follow
ing described real estate situate in the
County of Prowers and State of Colo
rado, to-wit:
The East one hundred and fifty G5O)
feet of Lot Three (3), in Block b. in
Highland Addition to Lamar, Colorado.
together with all and singular the
privileges and appurtenances thereunto
| belonging or in any wise appertainlng.
and ali the estate. right. title. Interest
and claim whatsoever OF the above
named defendants and each of them.
| either I'm law or in equity.
Dated at Lamar. Colorado. June 9Th.
1917. o,,->-,>-c, ,e.,>
Sheriff of Prowers County, Colorado.
First pub. June 6, 1917.
Last pub. June 81. 1917.
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06

ways wanted It. He said my apple
pies would make n man of you. and
II It's humanity possible for any wom-
to try. But don't talk about love to
mel"
With which she gathered up her
skirts and fiOunced out of the room.
Ned was not likely to talk of love to
her. They had never got on together.
Miss Burt's temper was what is Gus
tomary in strong minded women, and
is politely labeled uncertain"
The thought OF marrying Miss Burt,
twenty years his senior, was the most
repulsive one that had ever come into
the young mans head. The thought
of Nellie was always with him. Now
Nellie was not in the least strong.
minded. She was as charming and
feminine as she could be, and they
loved each other to distraction.
But even at thirty Ned had not
wholly gauged the ways of women.
Nellie learned of the will almost as
soon as It was read, and Ned, calling
to break the news and announce his
eternal fidelity, was amazed to find
Nellie in tears.
go on and marry her, then" she
sobbed. 81 always knew you didn't
care anything for me-"
'But, dearest" protested Ned, "thJs
isn't right. came to tell you that ]
love you and want you"
"Yes. you can say that well enough.
wept Nellie. 'T'm not going to ruin
your life prospects. Go on and marry
her, and be happy with her."
Nellie, won't you listen to reasonP'
pleaded the young man.
"I am reasonable" retorted Nellie
''why should your uncle have put that
absurd provision into his will unless
he knew that you and that Burt wom-
an cared for each other7"
Because he was a mean old cur
mudgeon," shouted Ned, at last be-
ginning to GoW anIL because he
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06
Uncle Jabez's
Joker
4Ax.N
BY
GEORGE MUNSON

Copyright. 1916. by W. @. Chapman.)
81 leave the remainder of my world
ly goods to my only nephew. Edward
Lewis, with the proviso that, unless
he shall marry my housekeeper, Miss
Lucinda Burt, within three calendar
months, 1t shall revert to the said
Home for Incurable Horses at Lyons"
The lawyer folded up the will ''The
remaining clauses 1 am not at liberty
to dlvulge," he remarked. "They deal
solely with other legacies and have no
reference either to Mr.. Lewis or to
Miss Burt"
Ned listened in disgust and horror.
He had had a serious quarrel with
his uncle n month before the old man's
sudden death. and had left the house
where he had spent the better part of
his life. since his father died. And
grabbed old Uncle Jabez had humil.
lated and taunted him in this, his last
document.
For Miss Lucinda Burt was fifty II
she was a day. and not pretty at that.
She had been his uncle's faithful
housekeeper for twenty years, and she
made wonderful apple pies. In fact
Ned's uncle had advised him to marry
her on the strength of this accomplish
ment alone. But Ned had not taken
Uncle Jabez seriously. Who would7
To add to the young mans troubles,
he was desperately in love with pretty
Nellie Gray. the stenographer of his
uncle's business partner. He had
hardly penny saved. though he now
hnd good position. And his uncle's
twenty thousand meant lot to him.
As for Miss Burt, she shifted con-
temptuously-she was a strong-minded
woman-and came over to Ned.
am willing to marry you" she
said. '.to please Mr.. Jabez. He al
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06
New Paris Fashion.

OveraIls and hickory shirts are be-
Ing worn In Paris because the coal
shortage has closed the laundries.
Wen probably be wearing these gar
ments at the opera next season.
The Lamar register., 1917-06-06
Old Stun.

"A scientist can take one bone and
reconstruct a dlnosaur."
That's nothing. Our landlady can
take one bone and reconstruct a din.
ner."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-01

ably he had been tapping the wires during my
morning conversations.
Call for me?" asked the operator impa-
tiently, hoping Liebknecht would come across
with further details.
"Long distance been trying TO get you Tor
some time" she said Here they are"
picked up the receiver just as the neigh
boring church bells struck midnight.
1.-THE Overseas News Agency again." came
the drowsy, distant voice. That stuff we
gave you this morning was in effect for April
/ only. Invalid after midnight Sorry;
goodby."
Another call for you," sing-songed the OPP
orator.
"Liebknecht again; sorry about that revo-
luton of ours. The Kaiser called 1t of at
midnight; said it was just as All Fools Day
frolic. April fool"
walked out into the cool spring night,
wilted with despair. AS | entered the subway
kiosk little owl of newsboy thrust into my
hand an early edition telling me that Congress
was to meet to-day, April 2, to discuss grave
matters" My only consolation was that the
Russian Revolution, at least, was no April
FOOLS joke.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-04-01

Ivan Vasilyevitch, NJ. D."
Good morning, DOCTOR" | said, quite self
possessed by this time.
Member Duma you mean," he said, and
there was hint of reproach in his voice
About the French Revolution"
This certainly was big day!
French Revolution" gasped. what the
deuce are you talking about? France has
been a republic from way back in the '7Os.
ANY good history will tell you that"
Come, come now. don't be stupid. / mean
that this Russian revolution Of ours mustn't
be compared with the French Revolution any
more. It's got to stop. Do you understand!
Things are running just as smoothly over here
as in your own republic. And you've got
head start Of over f4O years. There are fewer
party lines in Petrograd than there are IN
Washington. And the Russian peasant Is
brick when it comes to keeping cool in time of
stress. He's as self-contained as q reader Of
The Atlantic Monthly Just thought Id call