The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-05-17
Tales of the Town

: "Mllkmaiu.
r Why wouldn't Billy Sunday make
, grand chaplain for the Roosevelt
division.
Another way to get rid of dande-
lions. Turn flock Of sheep into
your front yard.
After an army of 2 million men has
been recruited there still will be
enough men left at home to tell how
it should be done.
"Where do little boys go when they
smoker" asked the Sunday school
teacher. "Down the alley" replied
the kid on the back seat.
Exasperated by the increased price
of bread, Mrs. Bill Misgivens says
she would start baking her own bread
if she had the necessary capital.
When the French fathers named
that bloody spot on the Hindenburg
angle known as Gohelle, they seem to :
have chosen an appropriate name.
4 4
There is no blight in which some
blessing is not intertwined. For in :
stance a wooden-legged man does not
have to have but one shoe these times.
In every home the shelves and clo-
sets are filled with bottles Of medi- :
cine, purchased by some member OF :
the family who afterwards decided :
not to take it.
Another home problem is solved by :
firm of cleaners which advertises: :
"Notice-ladies- worry about :
your dirty kids when we clean them :
for fifteen cents?" :
A frugal Scot, wishing to light up. :
asked a number of fellow passengers =
for a match. None of them having :
one, Sandy said resignedly, "Aweel, =
I'll have to use yin O. ma aim"
"Why have enlistments been so slow =
here?" we asked "Have your :
young men no patriotism ?" yep =
plentyl" replied Old Bill Misgivens. e
'But Miss --, who is 40 years old =
if she weighs pound, threatens to =
kiss every man who enists." =
4 q =
The teacher had ben reading to the =
lass about the great forests. "And =
low, boys" she asked, (which one of =
,ou can tell me the pine that has the =
ongest and sharpest needles? 2" Up =
vent hand in the front row. "Well. =
'ommy" "The porcupine!" =
There is an old woman who makes =
great effort to keep abreast of the =
ines. Her opportunities, however, =
re circumscribed and she is some =
mes compelled to resort to her imagi =
alton She went to a church sociable -
tely, and as she entered the room one =
{ the attendants said: "Good even =
Ig, auntie. | am glad you came. We e
re going to have tableaux tonight" =
Yes, know" replied the old woman, =
smelt 'em when | first came in" =
at is a rule to which most good =
wyers adhere" observed a we'll =
Town attorney, "never to tell more =
an one knows. There was an incl =
mt in western town wherein =
yyer carried the rule to the ex- =
,me Counsel for one side objected =
a person whose name was on the =
arts register for some purpose or =
Ter on the ground that he was =
nd. The counsel on the other side =
lined to accept the assurance and =
handed conclusive testimony on the =
mt. Whereupon counsel for the =
Ter side arose and gave corrobora- =
e evidence as to the decease of the =
n in question. "Well' was the =
ly, 81 don't know whether he's =
ID or not" GAS l suspected. You =
II know whether he's dead or not" =
D. But do know this--they buried =
doVut q hloiNil iSo Vh SusPtNiVh' -
8 4 Z =
efore introducing Lieutenant De =
san, aide to General Joffre and -
onel Fabry, the "blue devil of =
nee" Chairman Spencer of the =
Louis entertainment committee at =
NJ. A. A. breakfast told this =
,dote which caused the greatest =
riment and enthusiasm: SIN Wash =
on, Lieuteant De Tessan was APP =
lched by pretty American girl, =
said: "And did you kill Ger =
soldier?" "Yes" he replied. =
tn what hand did you do it," she =
ired "With this right hand" he =
And then the pretty American =
seized his right hand and kissed =
Colonel Fabry stood nearby. He =
led over and said to Lieutenant =
ressan: Heavens, man, why =