Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-10-26
THE DIARY OF AN EARTHWORM

It
Moral)
BY Ellis Parker Butler
The story Of the pacifst of the fields
and the gluttonous Robin in which
shows the futility of clean con-
science and a peaceful manner of
life when opposed to brute force
and lack of the finer sensibilities.
CELLS Parker Butler is one of the
best known humorous writer's In
America today and a prolific contrib
utor to the popular magazines. He
first became widely known in 1906
with the publication of pigs Is Pigs
book that had a great vogue for
several years.
Among his other works are
French Decorative Styles" The In
cubator Baby" Perkins of Portland"
THE Great American Pie Company"
Confessions of a Daddy" "Kilo,"
THAT Pup" Cheerful Smugglers,"
Mike Flannery" Thin Santa
Claus" Water Goats" Adventures
of Submarine" and THE Jack
Knife"
Butler was born in Muscatine, Ia.
in 1869. He is married and resides
in Flushing, N. Y.)
APRIL 6-Ho, hum! Awake again
after nice winters sleep. / shall
begin my summers labors in few
days. I always like to rest a few
days after long rest. Nothing is so
restful as rest after rest, stretched
out snugly and thinking what might
think if / had a brain. We earth
worms arc the most favored of God s
creatures. often feel that the world
was created for us-otherwise, why
was 1t created? We are certainly the
highest Of Gods creatures, the su-
preme evolution, for we have shed all
the useless and ugly appendages and
organs of the coarser creatures. It
has taken ages to do this. but it has
been done. We have gotten rid of
eyes, ears, noses. legs, arms, tails,
brains and bones and reached the ul-
innate perfection. We are nothing
but mouths and stomachs. l have no
doubt that, just as we are, we are the
images of God.
APRIL 10-Yo, hum! / shall rest
a few days more. The weight of my
Importance weighs heavily on me. If
I did not stir up the earth in the
springtime and loosen the hard soil
there would be no vegetation and
then there could be no animal life.
Without RE there could be no world.
] am sometimes called Angleworm
No doubt this is o 'misspelling Of An
ge1worm, for-beautiful and good as
! am ~ certainly only little
lower than the angels. Then, too,
am someti~los called tFishworm. This
is no doubt a contraction of Elfish-
worm. becar Sc or my sprightly grace,
/ am SO elftille and dainty. think
sometimes, with gratefulness that I
am the most blessed of creatures, 70,
what other creature is so Shiny
None but the snail, and the suail Is
obliged to eat leaves, the coarse
thing! l know of no other creature
that eats only the clean, sweet clay.
APRIL 11-That horrid, ungodly
Pinchbug came scuttling into my
hole this morning, yelling that he
had heard the Robins were threaten
ing to come into this field this year.
/ remained quite calm. The Robbins
have never come into this field, so
why should they come now? The
Pinchbug was greatly excited and
tried to convince me that the dwell
lers in the field should prepare to pro-
tect their lives against the barbarian
Robbins. Such nonsence! told him
that within my sweet, Shiny skin l
had pure. white. harmless soul! l
suggested that we send delegation
or something to Robinland to ex-
plain the beauties of peace and a full
stomach to the Robins. He kept
shouting that we ought to prepare to
defend our rights and liberties. I
quoted the sublime words of Henry
j. Snail: Peace for the peaceful.
death for the death dealers" He lost
his temper and ran around in circles
l think he is fool.
APRIL 12-It continues quite cold
l think the Robin story Is all nom
sense and nothing but silly rumor
| have seen nothing of the Robins.
Pinchbug came into my hole again
today. looking for rough pebble to
sharpen his pinchers on He advised
me to get thorn and learn a bayo-
net exercise. told him frankly that
he was an idiot and that was pac-
fist and did not believe in war. He
asked me what l would believe when
j was in a Robins stomach. ! quot
ed Henry j. Snails sublime words to
him again. He had fl.
APRIL 13-Still cold. knew
that Robin rumor was nonsense. Not
a Robin anywhere in sight. That
Pinchbug is most annoying. He has
Pinchbug is most annoying. He has
organized the bugs and beetles and
has them drilling and now he is
talking Of conservation. He says that
those who won't fight to protect the
field must be made to fight What
nonsense. l told him the pure in
spirit had nothing to fear It is the
truth. | would rather have the Rob-
ins eat ny life md family a thou
sand times over than take up thorns
to shed blood. Blood is precious. bat
] can get another wife and family
any time.
APRIL 14-This seems to be
very late. cold spring. Pinchbu,s was
in again this morning and | tainted
him with his Robin nonsense. He said
] would not rdooriehennessglin3.
he had direct word from the South
that the Robins were on their way
to the North country. eating all man.