The Washington herald., 1917-09-07
A Horrible Crime.

A Horrible Crime.
MARY Barnes complaining against
Milton Cray. Dis man he cum to
board wild me. month ago today.
All charges him four bones a week.
as long as he would stay. He paid
ME three weeks, right on time, but las
week he fell down. All axed him TO to
pay me, Jedge, afore he quit de town.
He sez, Awright, Ahm cumin' back,
en- pay yo all yo kale!' But All should
hab much better sense. den swallow
such a tale.
He sneaked his clos out de back
doah, All neber seen him go. But
folks dey say he talks about. de way
I lost nah dough-" CThe judge to Mil
toni. Now grub's too high, 1t Is too
scarce, to sneak away like that. Why
do you stoop to tricks like this? Some
day you'll fall right fiat. I'll give you
ope more chance to pay, this woman
your board bill. And IL you don't |
pity you, we'll put you on the grill.
why Girls Stay Single.
"Oh, Jedge, All wurks both day en-
night, en- den on Sundays, too. An
keeps nah rent paid up-to-date, nah
house it's furnisht new. En- yet An
has NAH troubles, wild dis cullud man
OBJ mine. He won't do right he'd
ruther fight, he's dat way rain or
shine. Las night he cum home full
of gin, en- axed me 70 his grub. All
les got fru a hard days wurk, a
washin' at NAH tub. All axed him to
be pashunt, but he only cussed de
more. He grabs me by nah neck en-
den, he slams me fru de door.
He slapped de chillen. Jedge, he
did, he tore NAH clos in two. he
grabs his razzer off de shelf, en- sez,
'Ahu murder you" CThe judge to JEFF
Matthews, a terror to his family. Il
see you are a dangerous man, when
YOU are full of gin. I'll send you
down for thirty days, to keep you out
of sin.
Some Cut-Up.
"oh, Jedge, one day las winter.
when it wuz snowin' fast, dis man
he Gums to me an seZ, 'Ah've foun'
nah man at last. He sez, Oh man.
do len me five, to buy nah hoss some
hay. I'll pay yo back, yo knows An
will. Nah ship comes in some day.
All lends de five to dis yere man. en-
nine months roll on by. / meets him
at a dance las night. en- he was aw-
full shy. All axed him 70 nah money
he sez, Jus cum outside All went
out lookin' 70 nah cash, en- got
punctured hide.
"Ah had nah lady fren' along, she
seen him draw his knife. He slasht
at me, he slasht at her; We thought
we'd lose our life"
THE judge to Lucas Payne. the
knife artist: This makes the sec
ond time now Frank you've been be-
fore the bar You'll have to stop
this cutting up, you've carried it too
far. I'm sending you to Occoquan
for four long months to stay. You'll
get the exercise you like. a cutting
up the hay"
why Men Stay Single.
"Pleez. Jedse, All has nah troubles
wild wife and chillen three. Nah nose
is on de grindstone cherry day dat
passes me. All neber has a cent to
spare, dey spends it in advance. Ahm
backwards two months in nah rent,
en- de seats right out nah pants. An
neber loafs, All neber drinks, JUS
wurks hard all day long. En- yet
nah wife. she's here en- sez, nah life's
one gran sweet song.
"Ah neber hit dis wife OBJ mine.
or thowed nah coin away. She's got
me wrong. indeed she has, do troot,
she dassent say"
CThe judge to Walter Holmes. the
henpecked husband: Now, Holmes,
you seem to be a man, your story It
sounds real. I'll give you one more
chance, my boy, 1 know Just how you
feel. GO home and start right in again.
Just keep on working hard. Don't fuss
or scrap or hit your wife, but treat
her like a pard."
Same Old Tune.
"Ah neber liked p'licemen. Jedse,
dey treats me mean yo see. All neber
yet done anything. dey hates to see
me free. Ah'se goin' to nah room