The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-12-11
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.

mated on the walls of every house ana
pasted on every womans mirror,
where she would see it thousand
! times a day-it would be the slang
phrase of~the day, FORGET IT.
The main trouble with women is
that they have too good memories.
They remember things too long, too
much and too often. The CHIEF OBJ
stacle that stands in their way to hap
pinesS is that they are carrying such
excess baggage of recolections OF the
past that they are handicapped by IT,
No matter what a woman's expert
ences in the past have been, whether
good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant
she can never bear to close the door
upon them. She is always turning
them over in her mind, dwelling upon
them, talking about them, living them
! over again in her imagination until
she makes herself nothing but per-
ambalating back number, and a bore
| to everyone she meets.
! This codd1ing of happy memories
ot the past gives us that almost I'M
bearable affHction, the woman who
has seen better days We all know
her. You have not been two minutes
| in her company before she begins to
! tell you of the almost regal splendor
| in which she wa5 rsared of the palace
| her home was; of the multitude of
servants; of the perennial gaiety that
went on: of what a belle she was. and
how many ranks of suitors-aH rich
and handsome-were signing at her
| feet; of the magnfficence of her trous-
seau; OF what a grand wedding she
had, and so on and on, and on, and
on, until she comes to the place where
she begins to weep and says she never
expected to come to this, and wants
| t know il you won't help her with
the rent.
OF course it may ceem harmless
thing for those rho in the present
have only bread and water to eat, to
feast upon the memories of the cakes
| and ale that they used to have in the
past, but in reality it is a most de-
moralizing thing to do. A woman
can make a dope dream of her former
grandeur that will just as much in
capacitate her for dealing with pres
ent conditions as if she was drugged
| with opium.
When you find a woman who lives
in the memories of her golden past
you will invariably find one who is a
/ Stacker, who is shiftless, lazy, untidy
and inefficient. She is the kind of a
woman, who, if she takes boarders,
will expect her "reminiscences of her
great uncle who was senator to
atone for the fact that her rooms are
! dirty and her meals never on time;
or, If she takes in sewing, will expect
her pedigree to make up for hooks
and eyes never fitting and skirts hang
ing in points around the bottom. All
the energy she needs to use in her
| business she eXhausts in remembering
the past.
1t is a great blessing to have been
we'll born, to have had a childhood
and youth full of sunshine and happi-
ness and plenty, but when they are
over, they are over. They are done,
finished, past beyond recall, and the
wise woman is she who puts them be-
hind her, who forgets them and lets
other people forget them. and who
WASTES no time in dreaming of halcyon
days that are gone, but who rolls up
her sleeves and grapples with today
and wrings something out of 1t that is
better and more substantial than a
vague memory.
If. however. the woman who ts
sloshing over with happy memories of
the past is pest, the woman who has
unhappy memories is scourge from
which the boldest Of US flee. She is
an incarnate wet blanket a human
Kill JOY, tear jug whose contents are
being continually spilled over US
At her approach every smile packs
up its little kit bag and beats IL for
the tall timber. She has hardly taken
her seat before she commences the
Had of her woes. She is a poor per
secuted creature whom nobody loves
or wants about, and whom everybody
that her employer doesn't appreciate
her, and shows favoritism to others
in the office. If she's rich. the peo-
pie she does things for are not CRATE
full enough. If she has children she
worries over them. If she has a hus-
band, he fails to come up to he,
ideals. If some one she loves has
! died, she never gets over it.
Naturally you are expected to joir
in with this dreary drizzle and minsle
your sobs with the lady's Iamenta-
tions, but what you want to do is &c
give her good shake and say "Fol
heavens sake, FORGET 1T"
suppose things have gone Hrons
with you. does it make them right tC
: brood over your grievance? Suppose
l you have suffered in the past. does i
make the day any cheerier to recall
that pain? Suppose people have dis
appointed you, is it any comfort tt
keep it fresh in your mind?
Why not forget it Put the whole
thing outside of your mind. Cast int
oblivion the things that worry YOU
You can do it If you will and for z
woman to keep herself sick misera bic
and nervous feasting on the memorie.
of past misery is as hideouS and neli.
rotic a thing to do as It would be FOL
her to spend her time c1awfng owe
the fostering bones in graveyard.
s If women would only make up thef
D minds to do little sensible forgettin,
it would go long ways toward pro
e noting domestic felicity. There ar
/; a great many women who are unha q
PLY married and who have husband
v who fall far short of being models O
8 domestic virtue. Also there are man,
men who are unhappily married an,
9 whose wives will never qualify in tn
= household angel class.
But men do not make a bad mat
Il ter worse by making a mental cata
Z logue of their wives faults and re
peating them over and over as if the
were a litany. Women do, and tn
e more they dwell upon the nemorie
= of their husbands shortcomings. tn
bigger they grow until they get s
It large they blot out all the sunshine O
t the world.
If wives would only forget it whel
e their husbands are irritable or sta
: out late, or are stingy, and especial
:. if they could forget it when their hus