davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

,hfobbing bean with few hours slum-
her is the same morning the nelghborS
pull, of an endurance contest between
a player piano and a lawn mower
The woman who attends bargain
sale OF silk stockings knows that she
is putting something away for a rainy
day.
When man comes around with a
flock OF compliments, you can save a
lot OF time by asking him right away
how much he wants to borrow.
1t is hard to say which has the
tougher job, the woman who goes down
town and works for living or the
woman who stays up town and works
husband for a living
1t is hard to please man, The blame
brute will want divorce Just because
his wife was thoughtful enough to clean
his pipe with soap and water
Charity hegins at home That is the
reason why we all make allowances
for our own faults,
There is only one bigger bore than
the man who is always talking about
what he has done, and that is the man
who is always talking about what he i,
going to do.
The average Prohibition agitator act,
as il the Lord is making a great mis-.
take in not leaving the management
of the world to the Dry bgotS.
A wise married man always remcm.
hers that his wife has her eve on him
even when she is looking IN another dl.
tection.
The world may he growing better
But the play that is denounced hy tn,
authorities makes more money than III,
play ,ha, is indorScd by the Clergy.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Luke McLuke SAYS

Some men not only give The Devil
his due but also pay him a bonus,
You may not believe it, Rut YOU have
TO pretend to use as much force to kiss
Young widow as YOU do to kiss a
young maiden.
We would hate TO he a Reformer and
have disposition that made us haIpy
only when We knew other people wer,
miserable
The way OF the tranSgreSsor is hard
The morning that YOU get into the hay
about dayligh, and Try to cool out your
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
One Year Ago Today in the War.

Oct a. l9l6-lrench captured strong
" fortified line OF German defenses on
Sommc front; French auxiliary cruiser
Gallla carrying 1000 French and Ser.
bian troops) and Cunard steamship
franconla transport sunk by German
submarines in Mediterranean.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

The observant citizen notes that Ring Lardner, famous
funny writer, is to the worlds series for newspa
pers Golfers Weekly announces that Ring Lardner is
now in Europe writing about the for that public alton
So Mr.. Latdncr must have airShip OF great speed to
get over such an expanse OF territory
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Oh. Docl

John {, Hopley of Bucyrus, Ohio,
claims tina, Doc Lewstadcr's Joke about
Whisky Is Your Enemy; Love Thine
Kncmy," was the first inscription on
the Rosetta Stone, and one Of the two
chestnu,s Noah took into the Ark with
him
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Our Daily Birthday Party.

Edward J. Pearson president OF tho
New York, New Haven and Hartford
railroad, born at Rockville Ind, fifty
four years ago today.
DR. A, Ross Hill, president of the
University OF Missouri, born in Nova
Scotia, forty eight years ago today.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Alta Bow

lie Is n hustler, is this Burns.
Much property he owns;
When he finds stumbling blocks he turns
Thom into stepnlng stOneh
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Our Joe Miller Contest.

Johnny Fay claims that the oldest
Joke is the one about the old negro who
prayed for the Lord to send him a
chicken, and no chicken came. The
next night he prayed for the Lord to
send him to chicken. And he had
ono before midnight
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Too Wealthy TO Fight.

The police OF Dayton Ohio. are
searching for Ona Pigg, who was draft
ed by the second district board and
who failed to report for entrainmcnt
for Camp Sherman.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Ouch |

"My daughter has a good ear for
music" said the Proud Mother, when
the Daughter got through singing
That so2" said the Caller "It is
too bad she can't sing with her ear,
isn't IT."
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

man at Capitol Hill says he has looked and looked
through newspapers and magazines and he cannot find
an advertisement, of liquor he thinks the stuff i, not
being made any more
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

II sure must bo bitter pill
To clever Lawyer Fifes.
While he can break most any Will.
lie cannot break his wifes
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
;SIDELlGHTS0NWARM0VES


II the Of
Ramadc Bgdad Euphrate river The
will stow YOU the position
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

Now, II oil is found on that OF ground that
bought by the state for $4,000 we've made good
investment Or, il drill and open up ledge
OF rinc the will make money from the lone
acre near the state house
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04


Pouncing upon the gar
riSon OF Ramadle without
any warning, the British
captured a Turkish force
of more than o,OOO men
with all their army stores
and complete equipment
| for an army division
This is the greatest sur
prise stroke delivered in
| Asia Minor since the sur
rounding OF General
Townshcnd's force at kut
in the first year OF the
war. and in a measure,
evcns UP the score for the
disaster which followed
the first British cxpcdi-
tion up the Tigris,
On the map the open
rcctangles are British
forces and the solid rec
tangles Russian forces,
| The Russian column
about Khanikin has been
pushed back slightly,
while the main British
column based on Samarra
is again on the move
northward in the direc-
tlon OF Mosul.
The Russian armies in
Persia, affected like the
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
C07FM:CUKF;
Ills COLUMN
@eyrigbt 1%7

Wuffi
The Eskimo said "I'd have you under
stand
The blubber'a delicious TO me,
And. while some folks live on the fat
Of the land
| live on the fat Of tho sea.
The Limit.
Smith is always trying to get the
most for his money" said Brown
"HeS" agreed Jones They tell me
that he always takes slow train in
preference to an express
Quick, Doc!
One of the clubs staff OF tu'k yank-
erS is requested to take trip to Johns
town, Pa, and do something for Iva
Sorghum
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

Won lndenburg had a ice day Tuesday. The Amer
can soldiers arc getting ready to give HIM a fate day.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Fooeyl !

A Kansas woman claims that her
husband tried to force her to drink some
carbolic acid. Her husband claims that
it was whisky he offered her Al that,
1t takes al expert to tell the differ
ence between Bone-Dry whisky and
carbOIlc acid.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
The Wise Fool.

"A word to the wise is sufficient"
quoted the Sage.
Then a lawyer must imagine that
the average jury is composed Of idiots"
commented the Fool
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

Most Of our men folks are marching
bravely to war. But Peter Shrinks lives
in Parkersburg, W. Va
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Learn One New Thing Each Day.
leroy |

Turner Sidebottom lives in Somerset
county, Kentucky
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
ODDS ToRlBS.
IN NNEWTYpB
Twenty Years Ago.
Prom Dhp TIMES PILES

Twenty Years Ago.
Mrs Fred Sutton went to Norman
today TO visit her brothers.
Miss Lou Polk. who has been visit
ing in Little Rock for the past five
months, has returned and accepted a
position as bookkeeper at Church and
Harrah'S
Prof NJ ] Patterson and wife. for
merly Adah Curnutt, arrived in the city
last night from lola Kan, where they
were married at the home of the brides
parents The newly welded couple are
OF Oklahoma City's best people and the
entire community extends its congratu-
lations
Mr. and Mrs. Al Welsh are visiting
III Kansas
Fifteen Years Ago.
Oklahoma City is now surer of get
ting a union station than ever before.
The railroads have practically agreed
upon fine structure, all terminals for
which have been secured. The station
will cost not less than $lS0000.
Mrs Fred Bogardus is arranging TO
build $500 residence in haywood.
Mr. Bass of the Bass & Harbour
Furniture company is starting a $500
residence
The streets of Oklahoma City ara
now in the muddieSt condition ever
Known here.
Ten Years Ago.
Mrs. Gus Taliaferro and Mrs. !. X.
Broughton returned home today from
Sweet Springs, Mo-, where they were
called by the death OF a relative.
Mr., 7. +. Hubbell, prescription clerk
at Roach and VeazeyS, was passing cir
culars yesterday on account OF the ar
rival of an .eleyen-pound boy at hi,
home Both the mother and son are
doing well.
The A. {. Roots arc moving into 4
handsome new residence on West Six
teenth street
Because OF the cooler weather and the
large amount OF ice stored. the PRICE
has been Jeduced from 80 cents to 10
this is in the downtown district where
easy access is possible.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Strange.

Like some more men In this broad land
A paradox lB Pete
He gets into hot water and
The poor boob gets cold feet
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Name, Ii Names.

Elzic Calico lives at Cottonburg, Ky
Our Daily Special.
We All Believe As We Hope.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Her HAndout.

when hungry tramps brace Mrs. Bland
She's wise, she doesn't call the cops
She says: Go to tho woodshed and
just help yourself to lots Of chops"
Luke McLuke
And II they do not like the chops.
This INDECENT and hungry host,
II makes the lady MAD as hops,
And then she hands them out a roast
Newark Advocate.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
TWENTY-FIVE Years AGO To-day

l892-Grover Cleveland addressed the
convention of the National Association
OF Democratic Clubs in New York.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
Fifty Years Ago Today.

l&7-Armed bands of Garibaldian,
were dispersed while attempting to in
wade the papal territories.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

ls+2-By treaty concluded at La
Pointe, the Chippewas cedcd largs
',racts OF land in Wisconsin to the gov
crnmcnt
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04
'HIST0RYBlTS,
One Hundred Years Ago To-day.

l8l7-Lord Hastings left Cawnpore
D -gin the war against the Pindarees.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

IWeHly feHrs ARO.
Mrs. Fred Sutton went to Norman
today to visit her brothers,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

Because OF the cooler weather and the
large amount of ice stored. the PRICE
has been yJeduced from 80 cents to 10.
this is in the downtown district where
easy access is possible.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-10-04

The A. {. Roots are moving into a
handsome new residence on West Six
teenth street.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-09-13
Some Reasons Why You Should Buy Your Royal Suit Now!
HOME CANNING

is Economical and Easy whenever you use the
"WEAR-EVER" ALUMINIUM ROASTER
Peaches, pears plums, beans-all kinds of fruits
and vegetables-can be put up at home at saving
in time, labor and money, if you use the "Wear
Ever" Aluminium Rooster. In this utensil Of many
uses, you can also prepare whole meal, in ovc
or on top of stove, all at one time And you can
use it as cake or bread box also. Come in and
let us show you the advantages of this Rooster.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1917-09-13
WINTER WEIGHT MUNSING

If you want that warm, snug feeling, (Which is OBJ
tanned only by wearing high grade underwear)
buy Munsing perfect fitting Union Suit
Priced at 1.25 to $500 for men or women, and
SOC to $3.50 for children.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
Not Our War
EDITOR THE TIMES

EDITOR THE TIMES:
Is it really necessary for Ameri-
can ships to enter into the war
zone. Or is it just the larger
profits" that take them to these
waters?
There are enough neutral coun-
tries, also possessions of Uncle
Sam, to keep every vessel, flying
the American flag, busy with their
trade.
If a bunch of fellows were
scrapping over some trivial matter
that didn't concern me or any one
else that kept their distance
think I'd take the other side of the
street.
There never was a war of the
peoples making and there never
will be. If it wasn't for the al
mighty dollar and a few curiosity
seekers there would never be a
chance of war with any country.
The laborer in this country gets
mere existence; why should he
be made to protect the big inter-
ests that make money out of any
war?
Three years ago this winter the
wages were cut in all of the log
cling camps from Is cents to 81
a day. Now that the cost of liv-
ing is so high the wages are JUST
BACK TO NORMAL. Does that
show any prosperity for the work
ing class.
That is why I say it isn't neces-
sary for American ship owners to
send their ships into the war zone
simply to make an extra dollar
that they don't need.
They use the American flag to
protect their interests and that is
all they give a hoop for, and they
know the American people are
back of the flag.
If another country was bring
ing the war over to us 1t would be
another proposition, but that isn't
our fight over there.
Respectfully,
w. e. WILLERS.
Vaughn.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
THE CLEARING HOUSE
Of Times Readers Ideas

I derstood that the trouble between
her and her husband had SO upset
her that she was sent to the insti-
tuition to get her into other sur
roundings and to fill her life so
full of work that she would have
no time to brood over her trouble.
Well, she found the work all right.
Havener was also her helper and
she did her work and his also,
while he was skylarking all over
the county in the county machine
with the matron.
Mrs. Wood bore insults from
Havener also from the matron.
Finally there was going to be a
banquet given by the doctors wife
to 80 of her friends.
Mrs. Wood refused to do the
extra work without extra pay and
was told by Mrs. Fletcher either
to do the work or hit the high
spots.
Mrs. Wood hit the high spots. |
personally know this woman. l
also know her divorced husband.
| asked him about the trouble be-
tween them and was told that 1t
was mainly caused by other peo-
pie. He is a good man, he was
hurt in the discharge of his duty
and the county should give him
some way of making his living.
He was good officer, courteous
and efficient. He was everybody's
friend and when in prosperity his
purse was always open to relieve
the needy and those in distress.
Next | want to speak about the
two nurses who were discharged,
Miss Willhite and Miss Bobega.
They were discharged for talking
against Mrs. Fletcher, in other
words Les Majestic"
Miss Willhite had been in the
institution since it was first start
ed. The patients used to say that
all she needed was a halo and
yet this we'll beloved nurse was
accused by the matron of being a
dope fiend.
This is the way the matron OF
Mt. View Sanatorium treats those
under her in authority. She
tramples upon the rights and privi-
leges of the help.
Yours respectfully, L.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
In Memoriiam
EDITOR THE TINES:

EDITOR THE TIMES.
The Methodist Preachers union
of Tacoma Feb. 5, adopted the
following:
Whereas, our worthy brother
and genial president, DR.. w. H,
w. Ross, d. D., has been taken by
the hand of death from the life
that now is into the life illimitable
from the association of the
brethren below to the comrade-
ship of the innumerable hosts
above; therefore, be it resolved,
THAT we extend our heartfelt
sympathy to the bereaved COM
panion, Mrs. w. II. w. Rees, the
daughter, Mrs. Rev. e. H. Gebert,
and the two sons, Revs. r. S. and
w. II. w. Rees, jr., assuring them
of our sincere interest in their sor-
row and bereavement.
THAT we express our sympathy
also to the church of which he
was pastor where he preached the
story of infinite love to rescue the
sinner and sanctify the saint
looking forward to the greater and
sublimer conquests in the all-eon-
quering Name.
THAT we will, when we meet,
from time to time, In our accus-
toned place, seek to keep in mind
his spirit of brotherliness, of cour-
age and good humor so aptly and
so genially administered.
THAT we pledge ourselves anew
to the task of carrying the mes
sage of the Divine Son of God to
lost and ruined race as we go
among the people; and to use all
diligence to preach the Christ
whom he so faithfully served,
looking forward to a never-ending
reunion with that bloodwashed
and innumerable thrOng."
G. l.. CUDDY,
r. v. P. DUNLAP,
w. T. RANDOLPH,
Committee.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
To the Donors
Vaughn.
EDITOR THE TINES:

EDITOR THE TINES:
The Associated Charities of Ia
coma hereby expresses sincere APP
probation and gratitude to each
contributor and worker for the
generous response to our appeal
for aid during the six-day cam
paign of Jan. 22-27, whereby
more than $1,000 was given the
cause we represent in cash and
pledges by more than 500 contrib
utors. while heretofore the work
has been sustained by about 100
subscribers.
To the noble band of women
who SO earnestly devoted them
selves to the cause for week with
splendid results, our gratitude Is
especially due.
We are again indebted to The
Tacoma Times for its generous CO.
operation and use of space in the
matter of publicity.
The storm of the past week has
emphasized the timeliness Of the
aid received, enabling the Asso-
ciated Charities to continue its
services where needed with money
in the treasury instead of an in
creasing deficit.
The trustees believe that all
contributors and workers have a
reward far greater than our pub
licly expressed thanks in their
knowledge that each has helped in
the service of One who said, ain
as much as We have done it unto
the least OF one of these, ye have
done It unto Me-
TRUSTEES OF THE ASSOCIATE
ED CHARITIES.
BY Chas. II. Hyde, President.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
Grammatical Error
EDITOR THE TIMES:

EDITOR THE TIMES:
have hobby for noting
grammatical errors and omissions
on signs or posters in public
places. One error of prominence
In an extraordinary conspicuous
place, read daily by hundreds, is
a Health Hint"
In substance 1t states that by
continued splitting or smoking in
the room the atmosphere becomes
unhealthy 1t should read that
the atmosphere becomes unhealth-
full. Persons and living things be-
come unhealthy, but not atmos-
pheres.
Persons breathing in these
noxious odors and harmful bac-
terra are liable to become I'M
healthy. Get the point?
OTTO j. HOOVER.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
Mich Goats
EDITOR THE TINES:

ELL lon LIE lmG os
There are quite a few ranchers
f., in our back country who would
like to raise milch goats, but can
not do so because no sure market
exists for goat products-milk,
cheese, meat, hides, fertilizer, etc.
In order to make the keeping
of milch goats a profitable indus
try, 1t will be necessary to estab-
fish a distributing center. This
center. in order to receive the
support of the ranchers necessary
to make 1t a success, should be
owned by the ranchers themselves.
The mode of procedure, to put
the milch goat industry on sure
and paying foundation in this
county, will be for all the ranch
ers in the back country, as we'll
as owners of small herds in the
city who contemplate making a
business of raising goats, to meet
with each other for the formation
of an association-to discuss the
various phases of the industry,
and raise what funds are neces-
sary to incorporate and get start
ed. a
My request is that everybody,
however slight his interest in the
subject, write to The Times on
the question. The discussion
ought to bring out much valuable
information.
Later a meeting might be called
by the rural development bureau
of the Tacoma Commercial club
or some other organization and
we might be able to get some
tangible results.
ANDERSON ISLAND.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
4s;s71i Plates

Every day someone comes into
our office with the statement
that they can't wear their plates,
because they will not stay up, and
fall while they are talking or. eat
ing, and their dentist said that
they would not be able to get a
plate that would stay firm and
not fall.
These are the cases we want.
We can take any mouth, no mat
ter what the other dentist said or
did, and with one of our Patent
Metal Suctions make any plate
stay firm and tight. Moreover,
we guarantee 1t.
Come i'm and let us explain our
Patent Metal Suctions and show
you a sample of our plates. We
make no charge for this service.
We are the largest~plate makers
on the coast. Plates om S. up.
TEETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT
PAIN.
We extract teeth without hurting
you by our own method.
GAS GIVEN WHEN DESIRED;
EXTRA.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-02-07
ANOTHER
FIGHT ON
BILL q!
Especial to The Times,l


OLYMPIA, Feb. Am at
tempt to put back into senate
bill 81 the teeth drawn by the
senate. after IA days of dicker-
ing and jobbing, was made in the
house today.
When the bill, as amended by
Senator Taylor to permit cities
to extend only municipal water
service beyond city limits, and
then only under regulations by
the public service commission,
came up in the house, Represen-
tative Reid of Spkoane offered
an amendment restoring the
light, power and street railway
provisions.
Representative J. H. Shattuck
of Kitsap made plea for the
house not to begin the scrap all
over again, saying the bill APP
piled only to the water situation
in Bremerton and Charleston.
The amendment was lost.
Bill Passes.
The bill was passed by the
house without change.
House Bill 4, by Reid of Spo-
kane, providing for the amend
ment of the constitution by the
initiative, went down to death
today when the house voted In
favor of the constitutional revi-
sion committees report recon-
mending an indefinite postpone
ment."
With it died house bill 1876 by
Knapp of King county, amend
ing the constitution so as to re-
store full home rule rights to
cities. The vote was "a to 20.
Indefinite postponement" was
recommended on the ground that
the legislature already had voted
to submit the question of a con-
stitutional convention to the peo-
pie. Representative Reid made a
losing fight for his bill.
Jimmy Speaks Up.
1.-THE people never have ex-
pressed a wish for a constitu-
tional convention" he said, but
they have demanded the right to
amend the constitution by initi-
alive"
An attempt. was made to ditch
the roll call demanded By Houser
of King county. Houser won.
During the short debate, ]. H.
Davis of Pierce said, I'm never
afraid to go on record against
amending the constitution by in
itiative."