Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1917-11-15
IOWA MANS SATIRE ON KAISER,

IOWA MANS SATIRE ON KAISER.
Loni~ Fvberkrop Of Creston. MIMI,
mas acq AREA much fame in recent
weeks as author of a satire on Kaiser
Wilhelm
1t is purported to have been written
from the Pinnacle of Infamy, He'll.
Requests have come to him from
Tumulty. Secretary Daniels, Roosevelt
and many others prominent in public
affairs as we'll as from many people
from every state in the union, and a
large number In Canada for copies Of
the production. The satire runs like
this:
The Internal Region, June 20, 1917.
ITO Wilhelm Won Hohenzollern, King
OF all Germany and Envoy Extraordi-
nry Of Almighty God:
MY Dear Wilhelm:
! II can call you by that familiar name
Tor l have always been very close to
you, much closer than you could ever
know.
! From the time that you were yet
an undeveloped being I have shaped
your destiny for my own purpose.
In the days of Rome I created a
roughneck known In history as Nero;
he was vulgar character and suited
| my PuiPOoc NJ IHHI particular time.
In these modern days a classic demon
and efficient supernatural was need
ed and as 1 know the Hohenzollern
blood 1 picked you as my special in
strument to place on earth an annex
or hell. 1 gave you abnormal ambition,
likewise an over supply Of egotism that
you might not discover your own fail
ings; twisted your mind to that of a
mad man with certain normal tenden-
hv =
character placed in power; gave you
the power of a hypnotie' I'd a certain
magnetic force thar light sway
your people. 1 an. ye. Die for the
deformed arm that han helpless on
your left side. for your crippled con-
dillon embitters your life and destroys
all noble impulses that might other
wise cause me anxiety. but your strong
sword arm is driven by your ambition
that squelches all sentiment and pity:
I placed in your soul deep hatred for
all things English, for all nations on
earth I hate England most; wherever
England plants her flag she brings
order out of chaos and the hated cross
follows the Union Jack; under her rule
wild tribes become tillers Of the soil
and in due time practical citizens; she
is the great civilizer Of the globe and
1 HATE HER. planted in your soul
a cruel hatred for your mother because
SHE was English and left my good
friend Bismarck to fan the flame had
kindled. Recent history proves how we'll
our work was done. 1t broke your roy
al mothers heart, but gained my pur-
pose.
"The inherited disease of the Hohen-
zollerns killed your father, just as Il
will kill you. and you became the ruler
of Germany and a tool Of mine sooner
than 1 expected.
ITO assist you and further hasten
my work l sent you three evil spirits.
Nietzsche, Treitschke and later Bern
hardi. whose teachings inflamed the
youth of Germany. who in good time
} would be willing and loyal subjects
and eager to spill their blood and pull
) your chestnuts-yours and mine the
spell has been perfect-you cast your
! ambitious eyes toward the Mediter-
d. ranean, Egypt. India and the OAR
/, danelles and you began your great rail-
way to Baedad, but the ambitious
archduke ana his more ambitious wife
) stood in your way. 1t was then that
sowed the seed in your heart that
blossomed into the assassination OF
l the Duke and his wife, and all hell
smiled when 1t saw how cleverly you
saddled the crime on to Servia. I saw
you set sails for the fjords of Norway
and knew you would prove an alibi,
: How cleverly done, so much like your
noble grandfather who also secured an
assassin to remove old King Frederick
of Denmarck. and later robbed that
country of two provinces that gave
Germany an opportunity to become q
naval power. Murder is dirty work but
it takes JIohenzollern to make away
and get by.
your opportunity was at hand; you
set the world on fire and bells of he'll
were ringing; your rape on Belgium
caused much Joy; 1t was the beginning
: of a perfect hell on earth, the destruc-
ton Of noble cathedrals and other in.
finite works Of art was hailed with
Joy in the Internal regions. You made
war on friends and foe alike and the
murder of civilians showed my teach
: ing had borne fruit. Your treachery
toward neutral nations FASTENED a uni
versal upheaval the thing I most de-
sired Your under-sea warfare is a
master stroke from the smallest mack
eral pot to the great Lusitania you
show no favorites; as war lord you
!. stand supreme, for you have no mercy;
you have no consideration for the baby
clinging to it's mothers breast as they
both go down into the deep together.
! only to be torn apart and leisurely de-
1 youred by sharks down among the cor
ais
y 81 have strolled over the battlefields
of Belgium and France. I have seen
! your hand of destruction everywhere;
, it's all your work. super-fiend that
. made you. have seen the fields Of Po-
land, now wilderness fit for prowling
beast only; no merry children in Po-
land now; they all succumbed to frost
and starvation. drifted down into Ca
, licia where formerly Jews and Gentiles
. lived happily together; found moth
ing but ruins and ashes; and felt
, curious pride in my pupil. for II was
all above my expectation. ! was In
Belgium when you drove the peace
full population before you like cattle In
to slavery: you separated man and wife
and forced them to hard labor In
trenches. have seen the fiendish rape
committed on young women and those
who were forced into maternity while
cursing the father Of their offspring.
, AMI began to doubt II my own inferno
was really up to date.
You have taken millions of dollars
from innocent victims and called II in
demnity; you have lived fat on the land
you usurped and sent the real owners
|, away to starvation. You have strayed
away from all legalized war methods
and introduced a code Of your own. You
!, have killed and robbed the people of
friendly nations and destroyed their
property. You are liar. a hypocrite
opd hluffar nj tho est ms uttudo