davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

And where is the old bird who used to nIay the musical glasses at a con- cert?
 When a woman displays her temper after she is married she doesn't even pretend to disguise it as temperament.
 A man never realizes how lucky he is when a woman refuses to marry him until about 10 years after she has mar ried the other fellow and has developed into a fat woman with half dozen children.
 A wise man always throws out that one race won by the Tortoise and gets his coin down on the Hare.
 It isn't so hard for a man to control a bad temper when he knows that the other fellow can whip him.
 Some folks meet trouble half way, while others camp on troubles trail and dare it to come along.
 The req son why some people never thing before they speak is because they are afraid they will forget what it was they wanted to say.
 When some men drop a dime into the collection plate in Church they figure that they have paid for a stateroom OH lDe I1tdNtiIiy bApicSS anu SoSui GU a mansion with southern exposure on a corner lot in Heaven.
 A wife knows that gambling as ter rible thing when her husband loses But it isn't so bad when he happens to bring home the kale.
 The fact that woman has been married five times doesn't keep her from joining Societies that meet to in dignate and demand the suppression of the social evil
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
PRICES AND VALUES

One of the results of the changed cost of living in the past few years has been confusion of prices with values by those who try to measure the values of commodities today with those of decade or so ago. An anec- dote illustrative of the point is told in a recent circular letter by a lumber industry:
 Missouri farmer. as the story runs, kicked because his dealer offered him for $90 the same kind of a buggy that his father bought 20 years ago for $50 The merchant, upon investigation, dis covered that the father paid for his vehicle with 300 bushels of corn Where upon he offered to give his customer in exchange for 300 bushels of corn the following articles:
 One $90 buggy.
 One SIS wagon.
 One $20 suit of clothes,
 One $20 dress for his wife.
 One g dress for his baby.
 One s crob for the baby.
 One 8 box of cigars.
 $l0 worth of sugar.
 $lO worth of tea.
 s10 worth of gasoline.
 SIS worth of lubrcatng oil
 The farmer refused the offer. paid S90 for his buggy and departed satis- fied.-(St. Louis st-Ditspatch.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
ADVERTISED LETTERS.

Letters remaining uncalled for in the Postoffice at Juneau, Alaska, July 26. 1917. Parties wishing same. should call for Advertised letters, and give date of list.
 Alaska Peerless Gold Mining com pany. R. l.. Brewer, Olaf Fiske. Mrs s. Gaskell, John Gnauck. Gunnar Gabrielsen, T. Hirano CD, II. Hanson Miss Lilly Hanson, Henry JohansOn Skokum Johnson, William Johnson Mrs. Mintru, Gregorio Moreno. Mrs NJ. B. Morrison, Mir. and Mrs. John Mclaughlin, Oscar Otterstad, Martin Roaming, Mrs. Anna Wilson.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

"It's hard enough to find a good fashion for a woman who is plump" confesses Josephine. "But when my dressmaker showed me this pretty Parisian coat dress, with its simple lines and clever belt, l ordered one just like it in black serge and added an organdie collar"
 N Y H. Special
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
GEORGE T. SNOW TO
 CELEBRATE HIS 10TH
 BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY

George T. Snow, who went to the hospital several days ago for an operation, is improving splendidly. It is expected that Mr. Snow will be able to be removed to the home of his daughter, Mrs. c. P. Jenne, of the Spickett Apartments, in time to celebrate his roth birthday which will be next Monday.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
ONE STEP NEARER.

There pride and exultation when the news that the expedition under Gen. Pershng arrived vas received from France. America glad to know that American soldiers had brought hope and en- couragement France and there not much thought af that time about how much than before ihe men had come to the battle line
 Nov the country hears that the troops have been rnovo1 up . polnt where the sound of the guns is
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
SUFFER|NCS OF SURVIVORS ARE MOST APPALLING Victims of Boats Hit By Subs Go Crazy While Being Tossed About
 On the Seas THIRST SEIzES THEM Man is Bound Hand and Foot to Keep Him
 From Injuring
 Others
THIRST SEIzES THEM

LONDON. July 27. = Sufferings of the survivors of vessels torpedoed by German submarines are graphi- cally related in the official report of A. H. Blackman, chief officer of the steamer .Alnwick Castle, sunk some time ago. The submarine. he stated. sped away without sinking any of the boats containing the survivors. There were in the chief officers boat thirty-onc persons, in
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Our Joe Miller Contest

Walter O'Brien claims that the old est joke Is the one about the tramp who was dry but who had no money He walked into saloon and ordered whiskey The bartender placed the bottle and glass. on the bar. and the tramp filled the glass and swallowed the contents. Then he started to go. Come back here.' yelled the bartend- CT. as he pulled big. shiny revolver from beneath the bar Where's the money?" The tramp clutched at his heart and swallowed big lump. My, but you gave me scare" gasped the tramp. T thought that thing was stomach pump"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
WHO SHOULD ENLIST?
Steward GateWay.)

The wisdom of Alaskans enlsting for the war is subject for general discussion these days is ceded that there are no more men in the Territory now than needed for the various development projects under way. Also that the copper, fish, coal and gold mined in the territory compromise war supplies of inestimable value to the nation.
 With this situation in view it is selfevident that those actively engaged in Alaskan development are of value to the country here than in the army.
 Young men not engaged in vacations of particu- lar value to the Territory however cannot do better than to answer their country's call.
 Every branch of the service is open. but there Is special demand for gasoline engineers.
 This is of gasoline engines There are motor trucks motor troops transports, motor sub chasers motor airpanes motor driven batteries motor ambuances, motorcycles and automobiles in endless procession.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Nathan Hale Had Nothina On Him

The husband of the militant stuff had just received a telephone call.
 Your wife has been arrested in Washington for picketing the White House, and she has been sentenced to 30 days in the workhouse." said the voice at the other end of the wire. Have you anything to say?"
 Yes" replied the husband. 'I only regret that I have one wife to lose for my country"
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
FINE CoMMERCIA1 PRINTINo

The Empire Printing Company's Job Printing Department is better equipped for hne commercial and so- ciety printing than any printing office in Alaska. New machinery and equipment has recently been in- tailed. and more is under way. Mako us prove these statements by giving us your order. tf
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

TWO IN ONE - The EMPIRE'a gay for everybody. The EMPIRE'S ads" keeps the housewife informed of all sales and the news column are right up to the minute on tho 0ay's nows.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
LIBRARIAN RETURNED

Miss Margaret Green, librarian of the Juneau Public Library, who for the past month has been visiting a. Sitka, returned on the Spokane this morning and will resume her duties. She is at the Hotel Zynda.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

The more a girls photograph flatters her the more she is convinced how natural 1t looks.
 Some men are loaded down so heav- fly with good intentions that they can't make any progress
 The reason why woman has faith in her husband when he stays out all night Is because if you upset a bottle of ink on white tablecloth there wouldn't be any stains.
 What mas become of the old-fashioned mesmerist who used to show In the Town Hall and who made your boy friends act like monkeys?
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
THE MERCHANTS PROTECTIVE ASSOCIATION.

The Merchants Protective Association which en- tered it's second yesterday by the re election of Charles Goldsten, president; Arthur J. Ficken vice. president and A. Rosee secretary treasurer is one Of the vliest organizations of men that has ever been formed in the North Already it has done lot Of good work for Juneau, and 1t has a lot of work under way that will for community prog ress The reduction of the rate for electric current was direct result of it's initiative; appropriation or money for the improvement of the Gastneau Chan nel bar was another Many other things of more or less importance have been accomplished or are in process of accomplishment
 One of the results of the activities of the organi- zation has been the elimination of a great deal of the credit business by Juneau business houses establishment of custom of shorter credits. The re- suit Of this has been to make losses through bad credits less and business conditions satisfactory. Many improvements in business methods have fostered A number of items of legislation to make business safer secured through the efforts of the association.
 The plan to make Juneau the home port and one Of the termini of fleet of mosquito merchant craft is being worked through this business men,
 The Merchants Protective Association is alert and progressive It is conservative that it nvesti gates carefully before it acts. but departure from former conditions is too radical if it stands up under searching examination and the application thorough tests
 The enthusiasm displayed yesterday when Presi- dent Godsein and the other officers of the organiza tion reelected the evidence that the members realize that the energy. courage and ability of its presiding officer has had to do with creating Association the great success that unquestionaby s
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

constantly in their No further advance that will be unopposed by German steel be made.
 The thought is grave one, but it must be faced. America must be ready for the casualty lists that are coming before long. The countrys response will be a sterner resolve to the fighting through and a deeper individual of the fact that the war means sacrifice at the front and at home.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Under orders of the German government the Ger man people being told that the American Liberty Loan failure and the landing of American troops in France a fantasy" This sort of thing, it would seem. will make all the trouble for the powers that be when people finally learn how they have been fm.flammed.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Eair WarnInd

Avoid the fate of Oswald Craft.
 He was afraid of shot and shell! He married to avoid the draft,
 And now his life is simply-awfu
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
BITS OF BY- PLAY By Luke McLuke
 -:- Copyright by Cincinnati En-
 Quirer.

Fooey! A melon -choly has Blose. The huckster and it has bean said That while he needs his turn-up nose. He'll lettuce have his cabbage head.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
lck

This telegram won't be delayed. The man will send it quick; And, even though it is prepaid. Hell let is go on tick.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
CarrlaQe

She thinks her figures great. you bet. I speak of Mrs. Harriage; She never owned horse, yet
 She has a splendid carriage.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

True sons of Hibernia object calling Chancellor Michaelis Mike They protest that there is no Irish in him.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Turf

Too bad Noah didn't lose his scrap book when he landed on Mt. Ararat. A feller has just sent us in the wheeze about the girl who had to wear her combination suit for six months be- cause she forgot the combination
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

No less than 4OOO.OO0 Americans loaned money with which to fight Germany and 10000000 registered for service against Germany. The wooden sword oi America begins to look like Toledo blade-Louis vile Courier Journal.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Bless Her HeartI

She lives in Nashville, Tenn. and if TWO-LUKE- "MgBkTt5wk she IS in the same street car and you get tired of standing, you can Lena Ginster.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Factl

Though things you haven't seem to
 taunt, And those who have them seem to
 Haunt them; If you could get the things you want. The chances are you wouldn't want
 them.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Ouch !!

Why do they always pray for the widows in Churches?" asked Mrs. Gabb.
 Well, why shouldn't they?" demand ed MT. Gobb?"
 ''It seems to me that wives are more in need of prayer and sympathy than widows" replied Mrs. Gabb.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

The issue of autocracy and democracy seems to have somehow gotten through the Hindenburg lines into Germany itself
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Oh, Joyl

Dr. O. B. Brite, the Sarcoxie, Mo. dentist has offered to shine up the teeth of the members if he is elected to the club.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Oh l

Of course there are other sports in the town. But what we started to say was that Lon Tennis lives at Jas onville, Ind.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

It's peculiar thing that German Socialism should be so extremely national in Germany and anti national in the United States.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

The young Emperor of China who turned adrift some time to paddle his has returned to sit throne which may prove trickier than a canoe.- Louisville CourierJournal)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Do like your weather, sir?" she said Well. should gently prattle. If Eve had chosen Eden's site It would have been Seattle.
 Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
welcomeI

If she'n join the Club. we'll let An na B. Liveiy. of Covington, Ky. act as waitress in the dining room.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
O U A K E R O U p S
Philadelphia Record)

Philadelphia Record)
 When a girl is perfect poem the poet runs to meet her.
 Liquor improves with age, and so do people who let it alone.
 Where girls are concerned the good die young, the others bleach
 When fellow is short it's easy enough to tell him to get along.
 Many a man continues to live by his wits in spite of the high cost of living. Don't cross your bridge till you have come to it, and then it will be there to burn behind you.
 You never can tell. Many man has a checkered career who really isn't fond of checkers.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

In arranging to take the product all the steel mills in the country. if needed to carry the war. Uncle Sam shows that he expects to use steel bullets well silver ones.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Ex-Czar Nicholas offers subscribe to the Russian liberty loan" Nick may prove useful citizen of the Republic of Russia yet.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Why don't the Washington police scatter fe mice around the White House gates?
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Couldn't we compromise this wood and steel sl controversy by making 'em halfandhaf?
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Japan seems to be waiting for China to fall. like overrpe peach. into her lap-(St. Louis Republc.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw. what is the difference between a D. D. and an M D?
 Paw-The D. D. does the preaching and the M D. does the practicing, my son.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Greece will be the 18th nation to enter the wal
 on the side of the Allies That's for you.-(Seatts
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

TWO IN ONE - The EMPIRES way for everybody. The EMPIRES ads" keeps the housewife informed of all sales and the news columns are right up to the minute on the tav's neWs.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Names Is Names
Our Daily Special

Mrs. B. A. Friend lives at Word. Ark
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Some Senators appear to be endeavoring to mak' the food bilr ndigesble
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

When a fellow is short it's easy enough to tell him to get along.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Many man continues to live by hi wits in spite of the high cost of living
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Bar silver is up 80 cents and tho Gross of Gold is mighty mum.-(Portland Oregonian.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Where girls are concerned the goo die young, the others bleach
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

There is an H. and IL in Hohensollem- Brooklyn Eagle.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27

Liquor improves with age. and so d people who let it alone.
The Alaska daily empire., 1917-07-27
Luke McLuke Says

Love Laughs At Jokesmiths.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-03-12

O0rG Eyes, GraDalated EyeIi4s, Eye
hhamed by exposure to Sun, Dust and Wine
quickly relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Ne
sL.srting, just Eye Comfort. Al your Druggists
or by mail, Soc per Bottle. For Book of the
Eye free. ask Muri-e Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-03-12
ARMY NAVY
AERO SECTION OF
NAVAL MILITIA

An opportunity for men who wish to
learn the science of aerial navigation
has been opened in the proposed or,
ganiZation OF. an aeronautic section OF
the naval militia of Hawaii This sec.
ton viii be composed OF five officers.
one chief aeronautic machinist, 10 aer,
onautic machinists, 10 aeronautic me-
chanics and one hospital apprentice.
A full course in aeronautics will be
given including instructions in disas,
sembling, assembling. overhauling and
adjusting aeroplane and gasolene mo-
tors, and when the personnel of the
new organization has become efficient
ly skilled one or more seaplanes will
be loaned it by the federal govern
ment.
Examinations are to be held and the
members who are successful will be
enrolled as the national naval volun-
teers with pay from s45 to sos dur
ing active service and from $3.50 to
$3.50 in other than active service.
Applicants OF this section should
have experience in the care and hand.
ling of gasoline engines or possess
some knowledge of electricity, carpen-
ter work or the use of mechanics
tools. Men interested should apply to
Lieut.. H. w. Engel at the bungalow,
second floor. Palace grounds, between
I and 8 O'Clock Tuesday, Thursday
and Friday evenings or telephone 1910
between and $50 any evening.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-03-12
SCOTT Tells OF
!. N. c. A. WORkON
MEXICAN BORDER

Chaplain o. J. w. Scott, well known
throughout Honolulu and local army
circles as the popular chaplain of the
25th Infantry for many years, has
written an interesting letter to Off
Gals of the international committee
of the Y. NJ. c. A. regarding the work
of that organization among the troops
of Gen Pershing's command in the
Mexican expedition.
Chaplain Scott was the army chap
lain in charge of the work among
the enlisted men in cooperation with
the Y. NJ. c. A. army secretary. His
letters describes the splendid service
rendered during the several months
of the punitive expedition and the ex-
cellent response and cooperation Of
the soldiers in the entire enterprise.
His letter, written in collaboration
with Chaplain Moose OF the eth Cav
airy, is as follows: -.. .
Somewhere lin Mexico.
a. January 26, 1917.
AS We are closing our work here.
preparatory to moving back home,
wish through you to thank the Young
Mems Christian Association and the
several secretaries, who so gener-
ously helped us during our stay in
Mexico with the punitive expedition.
Your help has been our one reliable
and adequate source of supply. The
work we have done could not have
been accomplished without your as
sistance, which we assure you has
been greatly appreciated by all
branches of the service represented
in this expedition The Y. NJ. C. A.
tents have been crowded from first
to last, and almost everything used in
them games. paper. ink, reading mat
ter. Bibles. ETC.. has been your gift.
We had some trouble getting
started again after the Christmas wind
storm, which blew away our records
and tore our tents. We will not at
tempt, therefore. to give you an &C
curate statement of all that has been
done, in this informal report. The
tents have been very. very poDular
with all the men in camp. and have
done business to their full caDacity.
The electric light was furnished by
Chanlain Moose. 18th Cavalry. Cha plain
Scott. 10th Cavalry had charge of the
work. assisted by seven enlisted men
detailed from the different organiza-
tons in camp, both chaplains taking
their turn with the religious work.
We have had probably more than
10000 visitors to the tents since they
were opened at the time of Mr.. Wet
more's visit. September IS last. From
10000 to 10000 letters have been writ
ten there. The reading matter furn-
ished by you has probably reached
every man in camp over and over
again. Isolated outposts, the guaru
houses and hospitals have been sup
piled from time to time. Our Bible
class and song service have been
popular and we'll attended
It has been a great pleasure and
privilege to have had your coopera.
ton in the Masters work on this ex-
Dedition and we shall continue to pray
for your success always.
Very sincerely yours in His name.
JNO. NJ. MOOSE,
Chaplain 7th Cavalry.
OSCAR J. W. SCOTT,
Chaplain 10th Cavalry.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-03-12
First Regiment National Guard
and Naval Militia March
Under Hot Sun

Under glaring sun Honolulu's citi-
zen soldiers and sailors yesterday
morning turned out In review before
member OF the territorial legislature,
high officials of the territory. officers
of the army and interested citizens to
demonstrate the strength OF that BODY
which would back up Uncle Sans reg
ulars in Hawaii should emergency
arise.
For an hour this body Of men, con-
sisting OF all companies Of the LIST In
fantry, National Guard, with sanitary
troops, machine gunners, signal corps
and engineers, and the entire naval
militia Of Hawaii, bore the inspection
OF the territorial law makers.
New Commander Leads
The review was held In the big tn
angle formed by King street at It's
junction with Richards, and began ex.
actIy at 10 o'clock, when Col, w. r.
Riley, new commander of the LIST In
fantry, accompanied by Brig.-Gen.
Samuel ]. johnson, the adjutant gem
eral. led the members OF the military
committees from both houses past
the militiamen az they stood at at
tention, lining the makai side Of Mer-
chant street from the Opera House to
Fort street.
In the reviewing party were Presi-
dent Chillingworth OF the senate,
Speaker Holstein Of the house, Sena-
tor ]. H. Coney. Representative Ger
rit Wilder. Representative William
Miles and Mayor Lane.
Upon the return Of these officials
to the reviewing stand. the companies.
under command of Col Riley, turned
in squads right. marching down King
street until opposite the Judiciary
building, where they again turned TO
pass the reviewing stand.
Army OFFICERS on Stand
Among those In the stand, which
was situated on the nauka side OF
King street, near Richards, where
Governor Pinkham. Brig.-Gen. Fred
erick s. Strong, commanding the Ha-
waiian department Of the army;
Lieut. Col. Francis e. Lacey, chief Of
staff; Mai. Charles LincolH, in charge
OF militia affairs; Lieut.. Wallace c.
Philoon, aide to Gen. Strong; Lieut.
Col Richard c. croxton and Col. WI