The Washington herald., 1917-02-26

Dear Folks: Although Lon IL a true
blue American. not long ago he Joined q
certain sect knowed as tn Snoopists. an
while there amt much difference in them
an ordinary folks, so far as eatin',
drinkin', an touchin' one for coin is con-
cerned, they live their lives by another
calendar entirely. an their New Year
starts on March /.
o. course it's dead ag'n tn rules for
any other than members to get a slant at
their dope, but as tn kid has hilxed out
I'm gonna take a chanct an throw what
I found on tn screen.
MARCH.
Early in tn month tn Sun Is friendly.
an later Jupiter is in benefic aspect, but
Mars, Mercury. Neptune, an a mess O.
them Ill bush-league planets will carry
on simply scandalous, an be evil in
sway. All Josies should wear extra
weights IN their barrel skirts, espe-
cially when turnin' corners.
TIL wet workers of tn District Of
Columbia will nearly succumb to tn on
rushin' wave of prohibition, but at tn
very last moment. when threatened with
tn bone-dry amendment. heaps Of tn,
''white-ribboners' will turn turtle an
blow. an tn Sheppard bill will die. there
by causin' tn Amalgamated Order O.
Bartenders to give tremendous ball, at
which full-pints will be tn favors when
tn dance calls for prizes
Tn rule is likely to increase accidents
particularly where basebalrs concerned,
as Venus. Mercury, Neptune, an tn rest
of tn planetary commission have de-
creed that it's now or never for tn Old
Fox to come over. an II tn Nationals
will keep hustlin they'll have a swell
chanel to cop. Uay down, GingerD
Mars gives warnin' that IL tn English
navy don't let somebody know where it's
been hidin' for tn past couple O. years.
folks in these parts will think it's Joined
Dorsey Fultz.
Under this configuration tn temper is
likely to be affected unfavorably, an
domestic harmony is supposed to be
easily disturbed, therefore, IL tn Missus
chirps up an says, 'It'sth' movies t'night
Fred"' you'd better make 1t tn movies.
or you might get iron.
TIL conviction an sentence of a famous
handbook man will serve as a warnin' for
tn rest of tn profession to be careful
how they take bets on th' races from any
but policemen. Secret Service players,
BARRIERS. an their regular clients.
Danger from overeatin' durin' this
period will be a a'unknowed quantity. Any
person caught with potatoes an onions
at IN same meal Will be naDle to a nne,
an a increase in his income tax.
Th' early part of tn month will be a
lucky planetary government for peanut
venders. small flag merchants, an toy
balloon peddlers. They should push 1t
to tn limit.
TIL month is said to be most tryin' for
women. especially If they be doin' picket
dooty, as tn majority of folks are gettin'
turrible sick O. seein' them babies stickin'
around.
It's a most unIucky time for buyin,'
but lucky for borrowin'. that Is If you
can find a nut soft enough to hand
tn "stuff'' over.
Persons whose birthdate II is have tn
augury Of happy an prosperous year,
providin' they attend to their own busi-
ness, an refrain from all kinds q
knockin'. Girls should be exceedin'ly
cautious in their dealin's with tn opposite
sex, an never overlook tn fact that
there's many a rooster featurin' a au-
tomobile who dasn't go home on account
of his board bill.
Children born durin' this month are
likely to be splendid banjo players, or
fine lace knitters, ar should always be
able to take cafe ofNthemselves.
DOPEY DAN.
Note-Lon says thenA Alexandra folks
certainly have found a lot of business to
attend to In washington since tn Old
nominian has xent en-a ydry.-