davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
White Way Suggested
For Fifth Avenue

a VISITOR to Birmingham thinks
IN Fifth avenue from the Terminal
station to the Tutwiler hotel should
be more brightly illuminated.
The suggestion is good one. There
was a time in the early history of Bir-
mingham when Fifth avenue was
fashionable residence street, but 1T has
sadly deteriorated. To speak frankly,
it does not make a favorable impress
sion on first sight and there is little
to commend it from an esthetic point
Of view on a closer inspection.
There are already indications that
Fifth avenue will in a few years be-
come thriving business thorough
fare. Improvements are being made at
frequent intervals. Stores, shops and
other places of business are supplant-
ing the frame structures, some of
them in a deplorable state of neg
lect, which were formerly the homes
of wealthy and influential families.
But the avenue is still in that transit
ton stage when it is neither one
thing nor the other. When the last
ranshackle house is gone and a build
ing worthy of Birmingham has taken
its place we shall see thoroughfare
transformed.
In the meantime, the heavy traffic
along Fifth avenue justifies system
Of street illumination similar to the
"white ways" in the business district,
but the lights should extend from the
Terminal station, past the new post
office building to Eighteenth street.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27

would keep the rural free delivery
deficit within bounds. If there are
preventable leaks, they must be
stopped, but as the pay of the car
riers who work all day is none too
large, it would be mistake to reduce
them. 1t may be that slight increase
for certain classes will be favorabiy
considered. But the Postmaster Gen
eral and the congressional committee
on postoffices and postroads should
get together and work out a plan OF
REIMBURSEMENT which would save Uncle
Sam millions of dollars without ma
terially lessening the efficiency of
service no longer regarded as lux
ury, but a necessity.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
LIFE ON A BATTLESHIP

uniform of the day prescribed by the
commander-in-chief and signalled to the
fleet by the flagship At S:15 turn to"
is again piped by the boatswain's mates,
and the final touches put to cleaning up
for the day, shining the brassworl and
cleaning the guns. Quarters for muster
and drill is usually at o'clock, When
every man on the ship who can be, spared
from his duties falls in with his division
and is inspected. As soon as all divisions
have reported to the executive officer,
the general alarm to battle stations is
sounded and all hands go on the run to
their general quarters This is the
most important drill in the battle fleet
and no one is excused. 1t is the prepa-
ration for battle, and becomes such
part of the daily routine that the call to
battle stations creates no excitement if
sounded at midnight and no matter
where our ships may be now by the
touching of a push button on each snip
every gun can be firing in less than two
minutes
All is not drill and work, however, in
ing, boxing and football get his earnest
attention. Every ship has an allowance
for athletics, and usually a ship spoken
of as home is good sporting ship"
Baseball of course, has the most fol-
lowers every ship having a team. Each
division of the fleet has sort of a
league of its own, the champions of each
division eliminating one another, until
finally two only are left to compete for
the fleet championship.
Frequently ships give smokers or min
strel shows and invite the members OF
other ships to attend. Huge stages and
"bleachers' seats are erected on the
deck and the ship gaily decorated. Box
ing is encouraged, and great interest is
attached to other championship bouts
staged at these smokers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
Seals Sale Will
Show Large Total

E7NHE Red Cross Christmas seals
u sale throughout the state, for
the benefit CT the anti-tuberculosis
cause, will continue until December
81, The campaign has been quietly
conducted, but preliminary reports in
dictate that the total receipts will be
larger than usual. Especially crafty
isg has been the activity of the teach
ers IN the rural schools. Every school
Il strict has been well organized and
children have been liberal in their
purchases Of the little holiday tokens.
Good campaign work in the remain
ing days Of this week will add mate
rally to the tuberculosis fund,
of which there is more need than ever.
The fact that notwithstanding the va
rious appeals made recently in behalf
Of humane institutions and war relief
causes the anti-tuberculosis work has
not been overlooked, shows that the
people have walked up to a realization
of the far-reaching Importance of the
white plague sanatorium.
The jefferson county organization,
with limited means, has accomplished
incalculable good and with increased
financial support the operations of the
association will be- materially extend
ed. Everybody can afford to buy
seals, which sell for penny apiece,
and no one with any feeling for suf-
fering humanity should rest satisfied
until he or she has made a small cor
tribution through this inexpensive me-
dunn.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
LUKE MpLIiKE SAYS

When nature was making some men
she gave them too much jaWbone and
not enough backbone.
And there wouldn't be much wrong
With this world if we were all as perfect
as we think we are.
Our idea of an odd man is one who
won't try to get even
A man will get mad so times a day, and
that's all right. But Ii his wife gets
mad once DAY he wants divorce
After all, a genius is merely a man
who becomes inconsistent to a certain
degree.
There is some pleasure in cussing a
balky horse because the animal will show
home constituencies. But what pleasure
is there in cussing a balxy automobile?
You can't blame a hog for being a hog
But you can blame man for being chat
way.
Ever notice how low wages are when
you want to work for the other fellow,
and how high wages are when you want
the other fellow to work for you?
1t doesn't matter what town a man
halls from, he is willing to bet that mis-
town has the best fire department in the
country.
Any married woman can tell you that
brute is man who won't let his wife
and his children impose on him.
A man who is poorly dressed may be
rich. But when a woman is poorly
dressed she is poor
This would be great world il every
body was as pleasant and smiling as the
agent who wants to sell you something.
1t may seem strange, but it is fact
that the women Who do their own house
work are not the ones who suffer from
nervous breakdowns.
A man may love his wife from the bot
tom Of his heart and still have a lot OF
room left at the top
When two men are telling Stch other
how hard they work. each is thinking
what monumental liar the other is.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
Engineers Earned
Deserved Promotion

r I is gratifying to know that men,
y bers of the American railway en-
gineers unit, who dropped their tools,
seized rifles and fought CALAMITY
against the Germans at Cambria, will
be given promotions. They deserve
not only the praises heaped upon them
by French and American military lead
ers, but the more substantial reward
of commission.
These men did not go to France to
fight, but to build railroads. While
this work is noncombative in charac-
ter, it is of supreme Importance and
hazardous when carried on, as in this
instance, close to the firing line. The
American engineers, with a spirit
worthy of their forebears and their
country, showed that they could fight
as we'll as they could build. Their
explrit Weakened thrill of pride in
America and it showed our French al
lies the temper of the American forces
sent abroad.
Adaptability is national character
istic of ours-one we may lay claim
to without being suspected of empty
boasting. 1t was never shown more
theoretically than by the American cngi-
neers at Cambria.
II you were Trotzky and had been
drawing a salary of s12 week on
.. socialist sheet in New York before you
went over to take charge of Russia,
wouldn't it make you mad to have lot
of Cossacks guarding Russias gold sup
ply?
1t is an easy matter to spot the gift
book that was selected in a hurry.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
Where Business-like
Economy Is Needed

III HE rural free delivery has been
= great educator. 1t has
brought farm life into closer relation
with the outside world; has enabled
the farmer to keep himself informed
about the markets and has made home
in the country all the pleasanter.
The early advocates of the rural
free delivery did not claim that it
would be self-supporting The sys-
tenn was established for the public
good, and the government in promot-
ing useful service touching millions
Of people, could we'll afford to meet
the expense of operation, even if the
deficit appeared larger than was
at first estimated. But the sta
tistics of the postoffice department,
set forth in the Postmaster Generals
annual report, show that the receipts
from the rural free delivery ran be-
nd the congressional appropriation
\ S3t. OOO, 900 during the last fiscal year.
Tliis was caused to large extent by
the phrcel post business.
The average annual pay of the car
riers on the $4,000 routes was SITE.
The average time of work was less
than four hours, although many car
riefs put in the whole day.
IN view of the big war expenditures
N the government Congress will be
Nailed upon to retrench in several d.
Y ,etieas. Strict business-like economy
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
A LESSON IN ENGLISH

From the Kansas City Star.
If we were instructing the young idea
how to shoot in the way of writing good
the story of an adventurer at sea in the
current issue of the Atlantic The story
is entitled 'rorpedoed," and it's author
is Lieut.. Albert Kinross. The unusual
thing about it is the way it begins
THE first torpedo struck us at a few
ing"
With that sort of a beginning who
could resist reading the rest of the ar
ticle, You know you are in the midst
OF things at once. Most writers would
have begun with a lesurely account of
the departure of the liner and where the
stateroom was located, and how many
persons were on board and how they
felt and all that
But Lieutenant Kinross instinctively
feels that his readers aren't interested
in those things at all. What they want
to get at is the adventure that began
when the torpedo hit So he starts them
right off with that ia scinating sentence,
"1he first torpedo struck us at a few
minutes past 10 o'clock in the morning.
1t is rare gift in a writer to tell his
story and stop when he gets through
Most persons find the achievement ut
terly beyond them. They simply can't
resist making an Introduction and nan
ending. 1t used to be a set habit with
a certain instructor in English to get his
pupils to write a theme and then in
struct them to cross out the first and last
paragraphs and see how the composition
was improved.
There used to be a minister in Kansas
City with delightful but rather pro-
longed literary style. So he yielded to a
suggestion from some of his friends tina
he stop at exactly 1890. no matter where
he might be in his sermon. He always
had his manuscript before him, and he
never got to the end. He would caress
the last few pages lovingly and then
stop abruptly at the appointed time.
The curious thing was that nobody
would have known that he hadn't come
to the end of his discourse as it was
originally written.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
THE GRAVE

By James Montgomery.
There is calm for those who weep.
rest for weary pilgrims found,
They softly lie and sweetly sleep
Low in the ground.
The storm that wrecks the winter sky
No more disturbs their deep repose,
Than summer evenings latest sigh
That shuts the rose.
long to lay this painful head
Ana aching heart beneath the soil,
To slumber in that dreamless bed
From all my toll,
For Misery stole me at my BIRTH
And cast me helpless on the wild;
! perish-O my Mother Earth,
take home thy Chiid
On thy dear lap these limbs reclined,
Shall gently molder into thee;
Nor leave one wretched trace behind
Resembling me.
Hark! strange sound affrights mine
ear,
My pulse-my brain runs Wild rave!
All, who are thou whose voice hear?
- am the Crave
THE Grave, that never spake before
Hath found at length tongue to chiae;
o hsten! Il will speak no more
BE silent, Pmde!"
art thou a Wretch of hope forlorn,
The victim OF consuming care?
Is thy distracted conscience torn
By fell despair?
"A bruised reed he will not break;
Affections all his children feel;
He wounds them for his mercys sake,
He wounds to heal.
"There is calm for those who weep.
A rest for weary Pilgrims found;
And while the moldering ashes sleep
Low in the ground,
1.-THE Soul, of origin divine,
God glorious image, freed from clay.
In heavens eternal sphere shall shine,
A star of day.
"The Sun is but a spark of fire,
A transient meteor in the sky;
The Soul, immortal as its Sire,
Shall never die.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27

Rush McNair Hoag, in Leslies.
II N our new navy two things survive
from the old order; the hammock
and the bag. Port and starboard
have gone and so has the grog, but as
there must be room to mount and oper-
ate the guns and turrets, to carry the
ammunition and fuel supply, and with
the complement of a battleship at a
thousand men, the hammock will remain
with u.s. The sight of a sailor Juggling
his bag and hammock through the streets
should, however, be no more, since he
no longer has to carry his hammock with
him when he is transferred. small
trunk, similar to that in use in the army,
and which could be racked. should be
substituted for the bag
In the morning at reveil thousand
pairs of feet hit the deck, and the ship
bursts into life. Blankets are neatly
folded in the hammock and rope lash
ing is used to do the hammock into a
neat bundle. Each man then unhooks
his hammock from his billet and carries
it to the stowage space provided. Fifteen
minutes are allowed for this and when
the decks are cleared, morning coffee is
served A half hour after reveille, turn
to- sounds and in the two hours before
breakfast the decks are wet down, men
wash their soiled clothing, scrub the
decks, the dirty paintwork, the ships
side, giving. such house cleaning as the
average residence gets but twice a year.
At 1880 breakfast is served, portable
tables let down from their racks over
head, dishes passed to the various mess
men from central scullery, and then
the food brought from the galley. A
cafeteria system tried out on a few ships
has proved a success, the food being
served more quickly, warmer and more
appetizing.
At o'clock all hands must be in the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
"MECCA THE INvIoLABLE,'

From the London Chronicle.
Mecca was compared by Burton to
Bath, but has been lilened by other
writer's to Florence without beauty"
1t has had full share of flood, fire and
sword, but is said never to have suf-
fered from any serious epidemic.
This seems the more remarkable be-
cause the city lies at the lowest level of
a valley which must be cesspool, and
the sewage, having no outlet, percolates
into the wells. The immunity, ascribed
by Mohammedans to miraculous interpo-
sition of Providence on behalf of Mecca
the Inviolable," is due to the dry climate,
the fact that most of the inhabitants
have the fine physical vigor needed for
a long journey, and the absence of des-
titution
The thousands seen begging are "beg-
CARS at fair" reapng the harvest OF
wealth brought by pilgrims.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27

Henry Miles Alden, in Harper's Maya
zine.
Publishers themselves may read with
aast books they would not choose to pub
lish and magazines quite different from
their own book manuscript or a pc
riodical contribution, declined by one
publisher, may be eagerly accepted by
another But what is to be said of an
Offering which runs the whole gauntlet
without a single welcome?
In the case of book where a con-
siderable risk is incurred by the pub
Usher, the universal rejection may be
due simply to reasonable caution. The
Broad Highway" Jeffrey Farnors first
novel, was turned down by several Amer
lean publishers to whom it was first Of
fered and who perhaps showed excessive
timdity, chiefly because it was wholly
English in its atmosphere and local color
and, besides. reflected past rather than
contemporary conditions.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
PAINFuL MEMORY.

Mrs. Grabcoin has a great deal OF
common sense"
so I've heard"
For instance, she doesn't object to
meeting people who used to know MI
Grabcoin When he wore overalls
That's the proper spirit"
rHowever, it still humiliates her to
think of the time when Mr.. Grabcoin
went TO Z. dinner party wearing tan shoes
and a rcd necktie with his new dress
suit"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
SCRAP OF PAPER.

Il hope you got at least one useful
Christmas present."
= thought so for i. wt.lc.'
what was the slfr?1
"a check"
Nothing could be more useful than
tnat."
Alas, it was returned to me marked,
No funds 3"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
Glad to Get Back

1T is good to set back to Alabama, -
said DR.. A. ]. Moon, for years dean of
Howard college, but who last fall accept
ed a chair in Latin and Greek in Sim
mons college, Abilene, Tex. II was
reared at Lineville ana nave been over
visiting relatives and friends and find
that the praphite industry is revolutions
izing the surrounding country. The lack
of cars to haul it away seemed to be
the only dark spot on the horizon.
have been in the awful drouth region OF
Texas, but Abilene proper is growing
and prosperous in spite of the distress.
ing agricultural situation in west Texas
was glad to learn that Birmingham
had at last gotten her stride and was do
ing such great things in a civic way
knew it was in her blood if some
thing came along big enough to stil
her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
Campaign Bloody and Successful

"The Red Cross campaign, just ended,
has been one of the bloodiest and hardest
fought campaigns as well as one of the
most successful in the history of Bir-
niingham," said Paul Chalifoux, land
the people of Birmingham and the entire
district responded most literally
Although the various committees
worked the city thoroughly a number of
voluntary subscriptions have come into
the local headquarters and in my opin-
ion the total result of the drive will
aggregate AZ, 500 members /"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
RARE SPORT.

Pa brings back his childish days
While upon the floor he plays
Half the night with certain toys
Santa g:ves to little boys.
Seems to think it lots of fun
AS he makes an engine run;
AnNiocsly, with close-set lips,
Sends a train upon it's trips,
Then, forgetting his cigar,
Monkeys with motor car
Never a more trim machine,
That requires no gasoline.
Other things mechanical
Hold his simple soul In thrall,
Till ma says, her patience fled,
Henry Topper, come to bed"'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27

BEGINNING THE DAY--O God,
the voices come crowding to my
ears calling me day and night. They
are SO many and so insistent. Lord,
helm me to choose among them. Help
me to find out Thine and follow 1T.
7 am confused without Thy guild
auce and wisdom. I am clean and
undismayed when L have waited for
the leading of my God. Amen
III. NJ. 4.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
VAIN WISH.

THE pigs of this country don't real
ize it, but they are helping to win the
war, Just the same"
quite true. And after I see the way
some would-be patriots wear themselves
our and everybody else without accom-
plishing anything, l wish they could do
as much as the pigs ana De as little con
cerned about it,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27

1t was afterward accepted by the first
English publisher to whom it was sub
mitted, and for the very reasons that
interfered with it's acceptance in this
country. 1t achieved remarkable sue
cess and was talked and written about so
extensively that there was no longer
doubt in the minds OF American publish
ers concerning it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
NO DEPRIVATION.

Are you having any 1ightless nights
in Brindleburg?"
Sure replied the old resident Be
sides, we don't need many lights in this
town. We've only got one picture the
atre and every man, woman and child in
the community could find the way to it
hlintfolded"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
CHEESE FROM SLEEPS MILK

From the Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
servation in this country is the making
Of cheese from the milk of sheep, an
industry that has grown up suddenly in
the west. Two years ago there was
not single cheese factory in Montana,
it is said. while now there are 10. One
Grated by Italians. They leased a flock
of 600 ewes and took them to mountain
pastures where they are milked twice
daily the days milk making about 100
pounds of cheese 1t Is also said that this
type of cheese, which is valued for it's
high quality. is made by Greek shepherds
in California.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
EFFECT or THE DRoUTH.

This magazine writer says wasl
ton is a city of salutes
81 presume he refers to the large bis
Der Of army and navy officers there, hit
one time IGNORED salute is missing from
the capital now
"And what is that?"
Here s how
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
HARD LINES.

HARD LINES.
The Demon Rum
Is rather glum
Who used a smile to wear;
He's hedged around
And quickly found
In his most secret lair.
Time was when he
In wicked glee
Laughed loudly, though berated;
But here of late
1t is his fate
just to be confiscatcd.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
AND ELSEWHERE
Late Train Responsible

My wife and 1 had a sure enough
Christmas gift" said Allie Nelson.
christmas Eve we were sitting
around the fire and both thinking
OF our son. James, who is at Camp Shell
by at Hattiesburg, lieutenant in the
artillery. 1t was the first Christmas he
had ever been absent. and we were
hoping against hope that somehow he
would get to come home. Just as we
had given up and were resolved to stand
it as best we could, in he walked look
ing every inch soldier. Yes, we were
thankful and mighty proud of our boy.
He had just dropped in to see us for
the night, having to leave on Christmas
morning, but a delayed train made it
possible for him to have Christmas din
ner with US. 1t was one time when we
blessed a late train
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1917-12-27
GOOD WAY TO sTARvE.

do you agree with the poet that They
also serve who only stand and wait n
q dare say that's true in some cases."
said the practical man. but it would he
a 2oos TeHcy in help-yon:aslf restau-
Tart
PAUL COOK