The Washington herald., 1917-08-28
Man. .Chicken,, Trouble.

"Jedge, All buys me chicken 70 to
have 70 nah Sunday dinner en- All let's
II out in nah yard to git some fresh
air so 1t would feel better when All
KILT 1t and II disappearanced," COM
planned Martha Williams, OF Snow
denis Court, looking straight at Curly
Butler. who she says. swipped 1t. The
chicken had been used to having its
morning walk around someone's yard
and since II was so near death, Martha
decided to allow II one more breath
ing spell.
Next door Curly Butler had his
eagle eye on it and he hypnotized the
chicken and It jumped the fence. But
Curly made a bad job of numbering
it and spilled enough blood for blind
man to trail him. He said the chick
en- just walked up to him and asked
him to wiring its neck. He obliged 1t
and very soon Martha got hungry and
missed her dinner. Curly must go
down for thirty days and pay a $40
fine, as he swore like a pirate when
he was arrested.
"storms and Storms"
A couple Of years ago Joe Myers
used to go with Bessie Storms. He
is married now, not to Bessie but to
widow with a ready-made family.
Bessie went to Virginia to do her
grieving and only came back last
week. Joe has had a hard pull with
someone else's children and during
that last few days lost interest COM
pletely. He saw Bessie at a movie
show Saturday night. He had but a
few cents. because wifey got it all
for market money.
Bessie had some money, as she
worked as a maid in a hotel and
saved. Joe told her his wife was dead
and Bessie believed him. Some loud
mouth person telephoned to a drug
store near Joe's home and informed
Mrs. Myers of what Joe was doing.
She was already for Joe when he
came in at midnight. The children
were all asleep, but they awoke when
they heard a stick crash against
Joe's skull. He had wifey arrested.
She promised the court not to do so
again and was released on her per-
sonal bonds.
Charlie should Eat Words.
Down on third street southwest is a
Greek restaurant, or rather what the
citizens down there call a cookshop.
Yesterday morning at 2 o'clock Charlie
Dixon and some friends dropped in to
have some lobster a la Newburgh,
Charlie consumed several entrees and
when he had finished his demi-tasse
some of the boys started an argu-
ment.
1t would have been all right II no
one had gotten profane. Charlie
wanted to know why the h they
were cussing as they all had come
from church just a few hours ago.
'Ah never heerd sich d. langwidge"
remarked Charlie. As for himself he
didn't care, but some strangers might
come in and it would sound like h.
The Greek waiter shouted in his own
tongue for them to stop swearing, but
these boys couldn't understand, and
he whistled for a cop. Charlie was
the only one cussing when the cop
came in and as it is, he is out S.
"Jush n shouse.-
Il care nozzing for policemans and
they cansh res me-" gurgled John
Shaw out on H street northeast Sum
day afternoon. John had been told
several times by a cop who knew him
to keep of the street, since he was
very shaky about the feet. "Washa
care. Imsh not fraid OF you. 1 can
lick the wholesh plice department. 4"
replied John.
IAN right said the cop. "since you
can't take good advice you'll have to
come with me. Then the circus