davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-13
BROUCHER'S SARCASM
BY HAROLD BRONSON.

Broucher had a naturally unpleas.
ant way Of expressing himself when
things didn't go to suit him and some
foolish person once told him that he
was delightfully."-, wickedly sarcastic.
That explained him. IL is rather an
awful thing when a man gets an idea
that he has a gift for sarcasm. He
is particularly apt to cultivate II.
Broucher became unpopular. He
was not really such a bad sort OF fell
low. not even ill-tempered, but he de-
veloped a sort Of carping habit Of
speech for the more frequent display
Of his gift and his associates natu-
rally got down on him.
1t was In his loneliness that he be-
gan his wooing of Miss Bardexter. the
meek and amlable little woman whose
nimble, white fingers ratified over the
keys Of the typewriter In the office.
Miss Bardexter rather admired
Broucher's style of talk. Perhaps II
was she who originally compllmented
him on 1t. Anyway, Broucher got
into the habit of lingering about her
desk and saying wickedly sarcastic
things about the other men in the
office. The upshot Of the thing was
that he married her.
But with the waning Of the honey.
moon II was different. II anything
went a little crossways he usually
called attention to 1t, and OF course
young housekeeper is not an old
one, and things will go a little cross
ways at first.
Then II was: Dearest, ! have OBJ
served with some pain that you are
not sufficiently considerate Of the feel
ings Of the young lady who has so
kindly consented to assist you In the
care Of the household. You must re-
member that girls in domestic service
have their feelings"
"Why, Courtney, deari am sure I
have always tried"
Eyes, yes, know. don't think you
meant to hurt her. but there is that
young man of hers and her girl friend
and her young man in the kitchen
now. / know they are there because
hear them very plainly. indeed. They
have been there three nights hand
running now, and you have never
once invited them to use the parlor
and the plano. so that they have been
obliged to put up with the kitchen and
mouth organ. Don't you think II
would be nice for you to go out and
invite them In. I'm afraid II do It
shall be tactless."
Mrs. Broucher would look at him
timidly and hesitatingly. and he would
sustain her look with an unpleasantly
bland smile. Then she would 60 out
to the kitchen. and shortly after the
sounds of revelry would cease.
But Broucher was not dissatisfied
when letter came announcing a visit
from his mother-in-law whom he bad
never seen; he said he would be more
than delighted. you see. we bore
each other so that any distraction Is
welcome" he said with a smile. and
patted his wife on her plump cheek.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-13
Happily Married.

"He's happily married"
"SO?"
"ies, he thinks marriage is going
10 exempt him from war service"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1917-09-13

DuN y. uAAlNCus bu6 uhA
baggage, for a months visit. and then
well. there was no trouble; she WIS
mighty sweet and easy.tempered
woman. But she seemed to take
Broucher so seriously. When he came
down a little late and observed that
he apprehended the consideration his
wife had shown In not waking him.
as he liked to be late at the Office. oc-
casionally-it looked independent
then did Mrs. Bardexter exclaim I:
swell should think you would be
afraid they might not like It."
you don't mean to say we have
eggs, dearp BrOucher said a little
later. This Is indeed a surprise. Nice
little change. isn't IT."
"Emmie said you had been having
them so often lately that You were
kind of sick OF them" said Mrs. Bar
dexter In a surprised tone.
"What did you put that roast In the
oven for. my own" asked Broucher.
"You have warmed II almost through.
I believe. and II would have been so
much nicer quite raw, to say nothing
Of the gas you must have used.
Haven't you a little really raw meat"
Mrs. Bardexter got up from the Ia
Bile, went out and came back with a
nice little piece OF raw beefsteak.
"Oh, mamma" said Mrs. Broucher.
Courtney doesn't really like raw
meat. He was just making fun. He
likes II quite well done and I'm afraid
Il is just a little bit undone."
Courtney. do you always mean
what you don't say7" inquired his
mother-in-law.
How could Broucher keep II up2 He
couldn't. All this happened In the FIRST
week and Mrs. Bardexter's stay was
prolonged to five more. People with.
out any sense Of humor are awfully
trying. but there is really no use In
lighting against them.
Courtney" said Mrs. Bardexter, ,
when she was leaving for her home
In Grand Rapids. "when- first came I
noticed that you talked very strange
ly, but you don't do II any more and
I'm glad Of II fOr Emmle's sake and
yours. kind OF think you were jok-
ING, but Jokes like that hurt some peo-
Pies feelings. You can't make a real
Joke out OF grumble aud a mean
hing isn't any more pleasant because
you say II with a smile. That's all
I'VE got to say. Now. don't tell me
hat you're going TO raise the lake
evel two inches with your tears for
ny departure. because shan't believe
'Ou."
II would tell you that" said
,rOucher. but honestly. I'll miss You.
nd hope L won't be long before you
ONE. 70 visit Us again. And--I be-
awe. Won Va 1. l,,.., M oooan
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
The Stupidity of Violence

The Times again deplores the re-
sort to violence, whether on the part
Of the street railway strikers or their
foolish friends. The general public is
the final arbiter in all such disagree
ments as those between the Wash
ington Railway and Electric Com
papy and its employees, and the pub
lie has shown a thousand times that
it will not tolerate disorder. The
sprinkling of high explosives along
the track last night, endangering the
lives Of citizens and destroying the
city's propertv. was the acme Of
stupidity. Those who are asking
for a Congressional investigation
should have made it clear that ma
terial of this sort was the last thing
wanted for the attention Of q Con-
gressional committee. With the
alienation Of the public sympathy
which was 80 manifestly on the side
of the strikers at the outset, the last
hope of winning the strike will have
rerished.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Civil War Veteran Faces
Sale of Home for Taxes
Followed By Misfortune, Takoma Park Pioneer
Will Lose His All Unless He Can
Raise Money.

ed across the highway he was forced
to insist upon its removal. with which
request Snodgrass complied.
GirdIes An Trees.
Snodgrsss has now girdled the rest
Of the trees In the parking In front
of his house.
81. planted those trees before the
town Of Takoma Park. was thought
Of" said the old soldier. They are
my property. and can do with them
what like I win not leave them
there after the way Takoma Park has
treated me-"
The Takoma Park authorities are
not planning any action against the
veteran for killing the trees.
What the next step In the old mans
night against the collection of the tax
will be he will not disclose.
The Takoma Park charter gives
the council power to advertise and
sell any property abutting on streets
found to have been specially bene-
nted by improvements In case default
Is made in the payment OF the amount
levied as benefits, and this has been
done In several cases.
The council some time ago. after
q referendum to property-owners ap-
proving the plan, decided to assess as
benefits against property abutting on
the new concrete streets two-thirds
of the cost of laying the street. one
third to be paid by the property on
each side OF the street and the other
third by the town.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
W. R. &'E. AND KING SUED
MeMorrow and Mahon, Union OIL
eIaIs, Demand $50, 900 Each.

An echo of the street car strike
and the bitterness that has been en-
gendered by IT Is seen in two damage
suits for $4,000 each filed in the Dis
trict Supreme Court against the
Washington Railway and Electric
Company and Clarence p. King, its
president
Edward McMorrow and william d.
Mahon, both officers and members Of
the general executive board of the
Amalgamated Association OF Street
and Electric Railway Employees of
America, who are directing the strike
here, are the plaintiffs In the suits.
They assert that statement pun
lished in the press Of Washington, ~
which their names were used, has n
jured their good name, fame, and rep
utation and damaged them In ths
amount sought
The petitions, which were filed by
Attorneys Ralston and Richardson.
declare that the advertisement of the
street car company refers to the cpl
sode In southwest Washington, where
control of a car was taken and II was
allowed to run Wild. causing consid-
erable damage.
McMorrow and Mahon assert that
the company's advertisement laid this
act at the doors of the Amalgamated
Association. and by naming them as
Officers of the organization. 1t was
the intention OF the company to
charge that they entered into a con-
spiracy to inJure the property of the
company" They declare they have
counseled and advised the members
Of the union to remain peaceful and
law abiding and refrain from acts OF
wrong-doing OF violence.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Trying to Dodge the Lightning

Not Germany for Germans nor
even Germany for the Hohenzol-
1erns, but the world for Kultur, is
the policy Of those now shaping the
destinies of the German people. For
this reason the daily stories from
Berlin Of the political reforms dis
cussed thereto take effect "after
the WARFARE nothing short Of SEN
sational. William II tolerating,
much more encouraging, vague talk
about q paradoxical peoples king
dom of the Hohenzollerns" has al
ready seen "pesce without victory"
written on the wall for him.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Organized Labor and the War

The Committee on Labor, of the
Council of National Defense, has
made a unanimous report through
its chairman, Samuel Gompers,
which should guarantee industrial
peace while the nation is at war.
The committee is a representative
one, having on it such men as Sec
retary of Labor William B. Wilson,
V. Everit Macy, president Of the
Civic Federation, Frank Morrison,
Warren B. Stone, Elisha Lee, and A.
Parker Nevin, representing labor,
capital, transportation, and manu-
factures.
Employers and employees are en-
joined against taking advantage Of
the war situation for selfish pur-
poses. It was the excessive profits
of British capital that inspired the
extortionate demands of British
labor at the beginning of the war.
Any changes made in the status quo
here are to be first investigated and
approved by the Council of National
Defense.
1t is urgently recommended that
existing standards for the protection
of the workers and the rigid en-
forcement Of labor and health laws
should be maintained, except where
the council holds that a departure
from these standards is necessary
for the country's safety.
Evidently the council wishes to
avoid the period of threatened
strikes and lockouts that so dam
aged the conduct Of the war by Eng
land. British experience, now Off
cially at our disposal, is a good
guide in showing the mistakes to be
avoided. And too much cannot be
said Of the patriotism Of organized
labor in declaring at the outset for
the permanence Of industrial peace
in the United States.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

by delay in seeking terms of peace.
Whether the army will have to be
sent to Europe is a question for the
future, which will hardly become a
pressing one within a year from the
date of passing the necessary meas
ures by Congress. But the army is
the key to the military and the
political situation. The prospect
that exhausted Germany may have
to face two million well-trained and
well-equipped American soldiers
next spring will be the most dis
heartening thing she has had to face
since Britain decided to enter the
war. And If the army is sent to the
battle-line, it will be the surest
means of compelling peace.
So, just as every pacifist effort to
keep the country out Of war at all
costs encouraged Germany to the
commission of new crimes which
finally became intolerable and pro-
voked war, renewed effort to pre-
vent the most thorough and ample
preparation for whatever task may
lie before us viii mean the post
ponement of the peace which the
pacifsts claim to desire. There was
never futile ism. Of modern times
at least, that was so admirably de-
signed to accomplish that which it
was proposed to avoid.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
WHATS ON PROGRAM
Interesting Events Of Importance
Scheduled Today.

Social meeting. Indiana Society. New Ebbdtt.
Meeting of National Agriculture Society. New
willard.
Musicale for the blind. Pavilion Z, Library Of
Congress, SIS p. m.
Meeting OF local branch Of Association Of
Collsgiats Alumni. New Willard.
Comrnercs, Twelfth and , streets north
Pstriotic evening by Home club Of pepar.-
ment OF Interior, p. m
Meeting Of Park View Citizens' Association,
assembly hall, Park Visw School Building.
Annual Davis. pri.. speakins contest, a.
sembly hall. administration building.
George Washington University, 2ass @ street
northwest, 8 p m.
Masonic Illustrated talk before Acacia Lodge,
No. Is; DeAolay Commandery, No. 4,
Knights Templar: Evangeli.t Chapter. Rose
Cr7ix. Ancient and Accepted scottish Rite:
Bethlehem Chapter, No. !. Order Of ths
Eastern Star.
ODD Fellows-Anity LCdse. No. n: Washing.
ton, No. Q. and Golden Rule, No. n; Fred
d. stuart Encampment, No. 7.
Rebekahs-Ladies' Auxiliary Of Canton wash
tngton, No. L
Knights Of PythiasrExceis.cr Lodge No. "A:
Capital, No. "a: Webster. No. !. and Ayr-
Meeting National American Woman sufrrsr.
Association. 1s2s Rhode Island avenue, Mrs..
Frances King Headlee, speaker.
Meeting, Sixteenth Street Heights Citizens
Association, home OF Robert Z. Heater, 1z17
Dogwood avenue. p. m.
Address, THE Negro In the Nations Crisfn"
By the Rev: J: Ifaneis 9resory. Of the Pso-
Bethel Lite5ary Society at the Metropolitan
A NJ z Church, p m
Address by Miss Henrietta szold, prssidsnt Of
7. W. H. A., mo Tenth street northwest.
SD. m.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

A correspondent to a morning paper
Indignantly demands that the bronze
statue OF Frederick the Great pre-
sented to this country by Kaiser Will
helm II, be returned.
II we are fighting Frederick the
Great we should also send back the
sword which that courageous and in
teresting old King presented To
George Washington.
OF course, constructively, We might
make out a case against old Frederick
we might hold him responsible for
drilling into the Prussians the mill
tary spirit which is SO extensively
noticeable today, and from that work
along very logically to an accusation
that he sank the Lusitania.
But, on the whole, IL seems more
reasonable not TO waste any nervous
energy on old kings and old swords
and bronze statues. We will need all
we have for actualities before we get
through this war.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
He's Filing His Sights

Now that Uncle Sam has finally
decided to carry a gun might e
well for international bad characters
to remember that in previous mixups
into which he has been bullied he has
established a reputation as a IA
nous shot. The old gentleman is not
exactly hair-trigger character but
he draws an almighty fine bead when
he finally gets his dander up.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Tomorrow.

Red Cross work. by TeacherT Club, club
rooms. e1 Eleventh street northwest, -
Reunion and reception. by General Alumni
Association, George washington University,
Rauschers. .. m.
Concert BY orpaeSSsur Male Quartet. Pct
worth u. e. Church, under auspices Of
Petworth woman's Club. y. m.
Meeting Of Loyal Legion and District Bel
gian Relief Commission. home Of Mrs. John
A. Logan. Eagle Lodge, 25:3 Thirteenth
street northwest. afternoon.
Meeting OF Capital Garden Club residence OF
Mrs. Samuel Spencer, eol3 Massachusetts,
avenue. I:30 .. m.
Meeting of washinEton SAFETY First AssO-
Reception by Kit Carson Post, No. !, Grand
Army Of the Republic, G.. A R. Hall. 8
p. m.
Annual business meeting and election Of off,
bitt, p. m
Meeting Of committee on public schools,
Washington Board Of Trade. 4:s D. m.
Address by J. Horace Mcfarland, on Ten
dencies In American Rosa Growing" lee
ture hall. Public Library, 8 p. m.
Monthly meeting Washington Delta Tau
Delta Club, chapter house, lsio N street
Meeting Connecticut Avenue Citizens Aaso-
eiatiOn' Army and Navy Preparatory School.
Monthly meeting Mt. Pleasant W. c. T. U,
residence of Miss Irene v. Banes, MOI
Thirtesnth street northwest. .. m
Resular nesting, Anacostia CitiIens' Associa-
tion, 2Og Nichols avenue. p. m.
Meeting Kivanis Club, New Cochran Hotel,
1880 p. m.
Masonic-Harmony Lodge, No. II; Takoma,
No. .: School Of Instruction: st. Johns
Mite Association; election, waahinkton
Commandery. No. l, Knights Templar
Order OF the Eastern Star-NaomI LodEe. No
8; Brookland, No. II.
Odd Fsllows-Eastern Lodge, No. Z: Har-
mony. No. .. and Federal City, No. 30; Co
lumbian Encsmpment, No. 1.
Rebekahs-Mt. Pleasant Lodge, No. O.
knights of Pythias-At. Vernon Lodge, No
s; Columbia, No. Is: Hermione, No. II and
Union. No. q: Friendship Temple, No. .,
Pythlan Sisters.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
An American Army for Compelling
Peace

As usual, the efforts of the pacifists
TO prevent the raising of an ade-
quate American army and TO limit
actual war operations to the navy,
If successful, could only result in
prolonging the war. or in allowing
Germany largely to dictate the terms
Of peace. Kitchener thought that
the war would not end until America
went in. America must prepare to
90 IN with all her giants strength
in order to end the war.
The American navy, Of course,
will help. It can release the
British navy from the task Of pa
trolling the continental American
coast both on the Atlantic and Pa
cifc. Americas joining the allies
blockade against Germany will
efectually stop the expectation of
certain needed supplies to Germany.
The afording Of unlimited credit to
the allies WI be an immense ad-
vantage. But there will be nothing
like the spectacle Of the training
and equipping of an army to be num-
bered by the million to overawe the
central empires and persuade them
that their case is a hopeless one, to
be worsened rather than bettered
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Say. Germany Cin Fight For Two
or Three Years More.


To the Editor Of THE TINES:
There seems to be an impression
abroad that Germany's fight is fought
and that her defeat is near. Upon
what is such an opinion based?
The greatest bulldog, finish fight
Of all history was that. OF the South
ern Confederacy. II Germany be as
determined as the South was a half
century ago, she will fight two or
three years more before yielding.
With a white population at the be-
ginning of the war of about 5000, 900.
the Confederates enlisted 10000 men
or one for every seven of the white
population. II Germany does as well,
she has enlisted 100000, three
fourths OF whom are now doing SER
vice. The odds against the South
were at least three and possibly four
to one, and the odds against Germany
cannot be more than three to two of
armed men. The South had no in
dustrIes and material destroyed was
not to be replaced; Germany is the
leading industrial country of the
world and better organized than ever
before.
When a nation is self-contained,
as Germany is today, the credit fac
tor may be eliminated from consid-
Grafton. There is nothing for Ger
mans to choose between complete
bankruptcy, which the world must
acknowledge and excuse, and partial
bankruptcy, with its burden which
cannot be shaken off.
II Germany has the courage ana
stamina OF the Southern Americans
in the civil war, she will fight a gi-
gantic. Wilderness campaign extend
ing over two and possibly thee
years. We may do weil to look for
another year In France. another year
in Belgium, and a possibly a year
on the Rhine. ROBERT JOHNSON.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
SCARED BY TRACK BLAST
Residents In Vicinity Of Strike Out
burst Manifest Alarm.

Powder on the tracks of the Wash
ington Railway and Electric Com
pany exploded last night about Q
o'clock, when an east bound street
car passed Ninth and East Capitol
streets. A window OF the car was
shattered and a nearby street lamp
globe broken. A woman passenger
tainted.
The explosion was heard for blocks,
and many residents for q time fear-
ed an attempt had been made to blow
up the Capitol, or that a Zeppelin
had visited the Capital. .
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
ASKS REcEIVERsHJP,

Nick Contos, a partner in the fruit
business at Ninth and d streets north
west. Is required to show cause April
Is why a receiver should not be ap-
pointed for the business in a rule
issued today by Justice Siddons in the
District Supreme Court.
The action is predicated on the
petition OF Bill Jones, who alleges he
Is a partner OF Contos. A dissolution
OF the partnership and accounting is
asked in the petition, which was filed
by Attorneys Edward r. Colladay,
Soterios Nicholson, and II. s. Barger.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Don Marquis
Column

Off Frinistere.
Off Finistere King Arthur rides,
Off Finistere in Brittany:
He hears the tumult of the tides
Beat in across the barren sea-
The sound is like the sullen roar
OF war within some distant place,
For round the aisles and up the shore
The angry breakers boom and race.
The good king wears his vizor down;
His form is bent; his head is bowed;
And mighty hosts of old renown
In serried files about him crowd.
They, too, throughout their spectral
lines
Seem weighted with the thought of
woe;
In their demeanor one divinss
Sad memories OF long ago.
Yet none of all, from king to hind,
Is girdled as with coward fears;
They set their faces to the wind,
And grip their swords, and couch
their spears.
still, STILL" they murmur, although
long
The battle rage, and far is peace
We will fight on against the wrong
Till horror and oppression cease!
For we are mantled with the right,
a Are armored with a holy mail,
And we will face the dragon Might
Until the bloody Dragon Quail"
Now that the springs tumultuous
tides
Storm on the land and scourge the
sea,
Off Finistere King Arthur rides,
on Finistere in Brittany
CLINTON SCOLLARD.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

The dismissal OF two Russian Of
fcers for losing q recent battle indi-
Gates that the new Russian gov
ernment Is in earnest about winning
the war.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10
Don't Forget to Give the Whale
credit.

Sir: Somebody is out with a story
that a Dutchman named Van Drebbel
invented a submarine boat in 1s20 and
that one David Bushnell. OF Connecti-
cut, invented another in 177s. and wants
US to give these men credit as origina-
tors of the undersea idea. That's the
way II always goes when genius does
something for the world. Justice de-
mAnds the truth. The real undersea
hero Of all time was Jonah.
ZEBINA FREDRIR.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

Richard Olney was a man whose
achievements in official life were only
equaled by the influence in pnblie
affairs which he retained to the close
Of his long career by the simple proc
ess of reticence about small affairs
and important contributions to the
thought OF the world about large
questions.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

Please" begs another contributor,
get Of the war and give US something
light and jolly"
II people don't quit talking like that
Wen publish a bunch OF spring poems
We have a lot on hand. The spring
poetry drive-(note to printer: don't
get an 81" on that word ''drive'')-is in
full swing. DON, MARQUIS.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

Let 1t be remembered that ths
American flag as borne by gallant
American aviators Is already flying
far above the battle line OF France.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

The German people may be tempted
to think that imperial promises ma
turing after the war may then be
treated as scraps Of paper.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

We do not wish to inject any element
Of farce into a serious situation but 1t
looks as II Cuba and Bulgaria were
going to have q hard time getting at
each other.
The Washington times., 1917-04-10

"Texas," says orson, 'is becoming
the Modern Promised Land. First the
Germans were going to give it to
Mexico and now there's q report that
they've offered 1t to the negroes. I
wish the Kaiser wouldn't worry 30
darn much about how he's going to
dispose Of Texas"