Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-09-21

one, no one enamoured Of his or her
eTn opinion, and determined to ram
it down the throats of others, was
ever a charmer. You have TO put the
soft pedal down, good and hard, on
your own ego to qualify in the fas-
cinator class.
The first quality of the Charmer,
then, is Unselfishness-to be willing
to let someone else have the center
of the stage and monopolize the spot
light. II you can make people feel
that you appreciate them, that you
have the discerning eye that perceives
how good looking and intelligent and
generally admirable they are, they
will never be able to get enough Of
your society. There are more people
in the world starving for appreciation
than there are starving for bread, and
as long as you feed them on this they
will eat out of your hand.
Study the people with whom you
come in contact. Find out what is
the one little thing that each one
thinks that he or she does best-the
secret little pet vanity that every man
and woman alive possesses-and play
upon this as upon harp with thou.
sand strings, and you shall never lack
for auditors who give you the glad
hand.
The second quality of the charmer
is sympathy. Be all things to all men
and women. Weep with those who
weep, and rejoice with those who re-
joice. And do this not hypocritically,
but sincerely.
Keep your own heart so in touch
with the great throbbing heart OF
humanity that you are interested IN
everything that happens to your fell
low creatures, and you really share In
their happiness and sorrows.
sympathy is the most powerful
magnet in the world. We are all
drawn to the individual to whom we
instinctively turn with the tale OF our
misfortune or the story Of our sue
cess. The average man and woman
are not strong enough to be self
sufficient. They must have an audi
tor, somebody to whom they must
bleat out their woes or boast Of their
victories. ..* .-r
This is why there is no other
charmer who charms so universally
as she who makes Of herself a tear
Jug into which the weeps Of the un-
happy may pour themselves without
stint; who can listen with glowing
and marveling eyes while self-maoe
men tell her how they did it, and dot
ing mammas sing the sagas of their
wonderful offspring.
The third quality of the charmer
consists In keeping off the grass OF
other peoples little prejudices and
The born charmer possesses
a sixth sense, that. we call intuition,
which enables him or her to do this
He or she can tell be-
fore a thing is said or done whether
It is going to be agreeable or often
sive to others.
Lacking this subtle sense Of the |
born charmer, the girl who desires to
please must substitute for 1t intelll- |
gence. She must feel her way in
as carefully as mariner |
does along an uncharted and reef |
strewn coast. She must deny herself !
the sacred joy of argument, and
eschew all jokes, no matter how
humorous, whose point turns either
upon race or religion.
Furthermore, she must take the
trouble to find out about people so
that she may not make the mistake |
Of discussing matrimonial infelicity
with Divorces, nor penal institutions
with those who have sons and broth
ers doing time. There is really no
excuse for anybody trampling our
prejudices and hobbies and opinions
INTO pulp than there is for one to
tall over our feet in drawing room.
Such Doors and blunderers are
rightly relegated to the outskirts of
society. No young girl can do more /
10 advance her own interests than to
learn how to pick her way daintily |