The Washington herald., 1917-09-22
1N Good Morning, Judge"
KN Human Interest Stories of ; By
Nv Police Court Happenings. knSfsNS paRRfNs
RUDOLPH
PERKINS

with him. Then she stuck her tongue
out at him and told him she never
wanted to see him again. What Al
bert said we don't know. but anyhow
he smacked her jaws and she cried
some more. She had him arrested
but repented and the court released
him on personal bonds. They will be
married soon.
So Long, Mary.
Mary Marberry sweeps out houses.
She used to work for Mrs. Simon.
ANY stray money she sees laying
around on the floor she just sweeps
II right on out. like any other trash.
She should go to a tailor and have
mt. 1t all happened because Mary
was collecting odd bits Of money to
buy a Pierce-Arrow, and it didn't
make no-never mind Just where the
green stun came from, either. One
day Mrs. Simon went upstairs to get
some money to buy a Herald, and
when she got there her pocketbook
was bare.
She didn't even need to hire Sher-
lock Holmes. She knew Mary's' dis
position. But she wasn't sure about
the disposition Of the money. She
called Mary and gave her the third
degree, but Mary thought that 1t
was all within the law" and that
possession was nine points Of law.
She promised to pay 1t back. but her
employer was afraid that she might
steal 1t again, and so the bluecoat
came with the warrant. Twenty lone
dollars in all Mary had lifted" On
the stand Mary said she did and she
didn't. Sixty days.
Nothing Unusual.
Irene Green wears a green hat and
a green suit. She Is not Irish. Clara
Hart and Irene are old pals. They
were not acquainted with Cora
Brown. Cora was out of their set
Cora Is married. and has seven chill
dren. Goodness gracious! The other
day the two aforesaid ladies were
standing talking TO their gentlemen
friends. and Cora walked up, so they
said. and accused Clara of trying to
steal her husband. Nonsense! Clara
didn't want a ready-made family.
Irene butted in and took Up for Cora,
she said. Soon all three were tan
gled up on the street. The men knew
better than TO mix in, and walked OF.
Cora says something totally different.
The two girls started the rumpus, she
told Judge Pugh, and he must have
believed her, as he told her to go
home.
s-s-sh, Spies Are Around.
Let the Gold Dust twins do your
work Two twins, Samuel and En-
Cant 1nnE rf1fIrh alike
two Fords; only more so. Where
one is the other is close by. and
what one does the other one helps
him. And now the Ethiopian Da-
mon and Pythias are in jail to-
gether, as the court was loath to
separate two inseparables. 1t was
like this:
Three times in the same place
they swiped a bale OF cotton. The
boys backed a wagon up to the
place each time. Policeman Livings-
toms business was to see that this
cotton was not put aboard a Ger
man submarine lying in the Po-
tomac. and he halted the wagon and
arrested the boys. They were taken
to the same station house and
brought to court together and have
gone to the same Jail for one year
each in the same Black Maria
oh, Tell Me, Pretty Waitress
A whole lunch for 10 cents. A
punch in the eye for nothing and a
$40 fine for the punch. Walter
Williams was hungry. There is a
Greek lunchroom on Seventh street.
Him for it. There is also a classy
little waitress there, too. That's
why the place does a big business
and can sell a lunch for 10 cents
with a glass of water on the side.
Walter fiirted with the waitress
lady. She didn't like IL. Walter
did. That's why he kept it up. The
girl appealed to the boss. Boss
came in and lectured Walter. Wal
ter swore.
Then he got up and started out
without coming across with the ten
cents Boss holloaed murder. Lots
of noise. Commotion. Fight. Boss
got hit in the eye Policeman came
running in. More noise. Walter
got locked up. He was the one who
hit the boss. whose name we can't
spell. 1t doesn't make any differ
ence now that Walter didn't have
the $50, because he went to the coop.