davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
Lazy but Lueky.

Although Alfred had arrived ut the
age OF 81 years, he showed no inclina-
ton to pursue his studies ut college or
In any way adapt himself to his faith
er's business.
Il don't know what I will ever make
Of that son of ,mine." bitterly COM
planned his father, a shustling busi-
ness man. .ss.5.s54.. Me-.
Maybe. he hasn't found himself
yet" consoled the confidential friend.
"Isn't he gifted in any way 2"
"Gifted?" queried hia father. well.
should say he is! He ain't~got a
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
THE MORNING SMILE.
Nsvle Again.

The pretty girl Of the party was
banterins the genial bachelor on his
reasons for remaining single
"No-oo, ! never was exactly disap-
pointed In love-" he meditated. Il was
more what you might call discouraged
You see, when was very young be-
came very much enamored of young
lady OF my acquaintance; was NOR
ally afraid to tell her my feelings. but
at last l screwed up my courage to the
proposing point. l said. Let's get mar
ried.'
"And she said, Good Lord! Who'd
have us!'"-Everybody Magazine.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
Talk Oh 1,O,,

Two men sat on the cGrbing In front
of thirst parlos. B0thswerc scowllng
darkly into the radiant face OF per.
feet day. and each Of the gentlemen
appeared to be harboring grievance
against the world at large.
Said one:
Say. Jaxxbo. what are you sniff1in'
for I'm askin' yoS. why tn weeps?"
Jazxbo raised his head and propped
1t UP with callOused hand.
Amt Igot plenty cause to weep?
Amt | got cold in the head:"
The other member of the duo gruht.
ed contemptuously. and looked at his
companion with some scorn in his eye.
Yea, you got cold. ou've been
caught in the draft, that's, all. and
you're blubberin' about It. Why man.
you're lucky. I'm tellin' you somethin'.
you're lucky. Cryin'' cause you're go.
in to war. You won't even have to
boil out another shirt"
The curbstone orator paused for
breath. and continued:
I It's us poor cusses. who are stayin'
at home that have to bear the burden
OF this war. not you fellows. that have
the glory Of marchin' off to battle"
At this point, Jazzbo managed. by
careful manipulation, to edge in a.
word. and asked his partner the cause
of his kick.
Again the volcano erupted., "Yon
got nerve to ask me .why I'm peeved?"
the companion shouted. when you
know as. we'll as LIDO that beer has
JULY"
|, Tn 10 1np ro1
arms and went in for "a little of the
same"
The fire department had to respond
in self protection last night to a call
which marked Episode Three in the
unfortunate sentimental adventures OF
| one Of the city firemen. This young
| man had taken out the spare automO-
| bile of the fleet made by the depart
| ment In order to bring his girl from
her ranch west of town to the carni-
val. Twice before he had tried it. but
| the first expedition came to grief In a
breakdown just outside the city limits
and the second terminated with the
gasoline supply on country road
Last night the frantic voting man took
l cNGly siEiiuSl iSCiueul nv
| filled the gasoline tank to the top and
went over the machinery from radiator
to license tag. And he got his girl 10
town and the carnival.
Then from the top of the ferris
wheel ne glanced down just In time t6
see flames shoot from the engine OF
the parked automobile and he reached
the street just one jump ahead Of the
fire department. come to throw water
and jeers in equal proportions. Mex,
time he will borrow the street depart
ment's buggy when he wants to &C
calling. H.l
Mature sometimes takes vengeance
in an inspired way" said young mar
yesterday. when was a boy one o.
my worst infections was q prim young
dressmaker who detested' children ant
put the burden Of Her spite on me be
cause happened to. live next door. Al
these years I've cherished grudg,
against that woman, and today fat,
gave me satisfaction. I received an an
nouncement saying that the lady hat
become the mother Of twins"
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
An Awesene Momant.

Two negroes were, caught; in a ter
rifle Thunderstorm in the south and
took refuge in a barn: but before they
could enter they were completely
drenched. The thunder crashed and
peeled between flashes of lightning
and binding dashes OF rain.s One OF
the darkies thought maybe a little
strong language would ease his mind,
but his companion demonstrated with
him. Look heah. yo' Charles Richard
--yo' quit yo' cussin.' Don't yo' know
dat Gawd's got 70. completely in his
power jest now ?"-The Argonaut,
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

A number of wounded soldiers have
arrived at the hospitals from the front
to show that our men lost no time il
getting into action. Perhaps some OF
them We're killed. The conscientious
DIRECTORS will do we'll to cease theil
activities before these death lists ar.
rive. We fancy they will not be es.
pecially active after that.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

rollment of all the young men who
have entered the service Of their coun-
try from their congregations.
The idea is that public prayers shall
be offered every Sunday for these
boys"
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
HITS FROM SHARP WITS.

The only difference between med
ding and investigation Is that we al-
ways investigate and the other fellow
meddles.-Chicago News.
Try to. look at 1t this way: III my
country draws me It shall get prize;
ii 1t misses me shall get a blank
Memphis Commercial Appeal.
sas1s &'+
Anyway. no little thing like a world
war is going to deprive the small boy
Of his chance to so to q circus.-
Omaha Bee.
Women's skirts won't be materially
shortened during the war period. Some
Of them really can't be and at the same
time serve as skirts.-Nashville BAN
ner. .&i
Few men are az slow to anger a.
they are to- pay.-Deaerete News.
"a - -
Always, there are many whose do
ings are made up mostly OF instruc-
tions to others.-Aibany Journal
set8ss
Most '.born leadersr, very soon forfeit
their birthright.-Deseret News.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
AVOID Am.

man who Is always asserting that the
world IL growing worse. and that air
wen aclua'nteo w'tn .nsmse.i ana Pc
lieve* others are no bstter- than he II.
-Madisonville (Ky.) Hustler.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

"Cnhung traitors" is Colonel Roose-
yelts classification of the ]. w. w.
leaders who are throwing obstacles in
the way of the war machine. The
colonel has them right and if the gov
eminent is not bluffing very soon there
may not be so many of them unhung.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

In the August, Review Of Reviews.
Frank II. Simonds. who has become
tho best known as well as the most in !.
terGsting writer on the military phases
OF the war. offers the conclusion that
1t will be fought ont within year.
The Germans. he says, have be-
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

There ought not to be much diff
ficulty in the campaign to increase the
popularity of the American apple II
the Montana apple is used for that
purpose.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

The Chicago Tribune is again talk
ing of the war after the war. One war
at a time, please, and no more of that
than we are obliged to have to keep
us from becoming the kaisers mes
senger boys.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Ten minutes each day with the fly
swatter is fine exercise. 1t quickens
the vision and dcepens the muscles Of
the arms. We find that this health
hint is necessary to the public welfare,
though we hoped earlier in the year
that the unusual Montana summer
would cause us to forget it.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
darned thing that wasn't given to
him. "-Harper's Magazine.
Grammatical knoiyle J,

s- Grammatical knowledge.
When General Leonard Wood was a
small boy he was called up in the
grammar class. The teacher said:
Leonard. give me a sentence, and
Well see II we can change 1t to the
imperative mood" E'
The horse draws the cart" said
Leonard. q
very good. Now change the SEN
tence to an imperative"
Get OPP" said young Wood.-Chris-
tian Register. s.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

While Montanans are not envious,
they would be quite willing to change
places with Kansas until the long rain
in that favored state is Mt an end.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

We hope Miss Rankin is enjoying
her vacation, though Butte is not quite
the place. we would choose as n re-
pair shop for tired nerves.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

We may guess that kerensky mas
been benched since his name has not
appeared on the batting list for sew
eral days.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Fire when you are ready, MI
Hoover" said Uncle Sam pointing to
the pirate ship of the food spectators.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17
WILL PRAY ron soLo,Eas.

Rev. DIR. David G. Wylie has sent q
blank to every one of the thousands of
Presbyterian pastors In the United
States, which is to be used for the en-.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Good luck to the pope. We will agree
that he is superman II he can put
4 stop to this war.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

IAziness is a crime If you're poor
and n disease II you're rich. Ding
hamton Press.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Keep calf and when it grows
into a COW the COW will keep you.--
Chicago Daily News.
Keep you broke too, il we have more
summers like this.
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Most "born leaders" very soon forfeit
their birthright.-Deserot News. II
The Daily Missoulian. [volume] (Missoula, Mont.) 1904-1961, 1917-08-17

Few men are az slow to anger a.
they are to pay. -Deserete News.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
SAM SAYS
FLOUR MUST NOT
Be HIDDEN AWAY
Some Foodstuffs May Well
Be Treasured For
Future
FALSE ECONOMY TO
BUY In QUANTITIES
Loss Through Spoilage Is A
Serious Problem To The
Housewife

Prepared by the office OF Information, de-
partment of agricultural
Buy -four In small quantities and pro
tect 1t carefully from spoilage. Sound
-four milled from standard wheat ex-
hlbits very little tendency to decom-
pose when stored in proper manner,
Nevertheless there is a considerable loss
Of -four through spollage as result OF
improper storage, particularly during
the summer months. Housekeepers on
the farm and in the city should pur-
chase -four in accordance with their
needs only. 1t Is false economy for
the honsekeeper to purchase larger
amounts of -four than can be used
within q reasonable length of time
This may be barrel for large fami-
ly. More often 1t will be the fifty
pound sack. ANY storage OF -four In
excess Of the consumers needs consti-
tutes boarding, which under present
circumstances Is nn unethical and rep.
rehensible practice, Of no profit to the
individual who practices 1t, but In
furious to the best interests of the peo-
pie.
Since 1t is the duty of every one in
the present situation particularly to
avoid all waste 1t is incumbent upon
each one so to store the normal stock
of -four as to eliminate all waste what
soever The precautions that are re-
quired have been well worked out In
practice and are stated as follows:
There are three cardinal principles of
-four storage. Flour should not be
stored In the cellar, since the cellar is
rarely free from dampness, even
though special -four bins have been
built In. 1t is common to find odors In
a cellar, and -four absorbs odors and Is
contaminated by them. The cellar Is
cool, but Is usually too damp. Flour
should not be stored in the attic of the
usual type. The temperature Is too
high in summer, there is no circulation
! of air, and the -four Is likely to acquire
musty odor. Flour should not be
stored in the pantry or kitchen except
In small quantities, since the tempera-
ture Is certain to be uneven and the
-four Is likely to be contaminated by
odors.
If practicable every household should
possess a small room for storage of
nonodorous commodities. Such room
is best located on the north side of the
building. 1t should be ventilated, and
cool and even temperature should he
maintained Where such a room is not
available a closet may fit the require
ments we'll. The bins or containers
should be kept clean, and when an old
stock of -four is exhausted the contain
er should be carefully cleaned before
new stock is placed.
Naturally the -four must be guarded
from vermin. Flour should be exam
ined occasionally to see that decompo
sition has not begun. Conserved IL
this manner, the sack Of flour In th'
household and the larger stores of th'
retailer can be utilized practically t'
the exclusion of any waste through
SDOilape
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Wife Says Life Was Threat
ened By Husband, Also
Seeks Divorce
HOLDS SUTTLES AND
Bliss TO GRAND JURY
Administrator Of Rogers Es-
tate Files Statement;
Court Notes

Maude V. Dowds filed an answer and
cross-petition to the divorce petition
of her husband, Thompson Dowds, in
the common pleas court Friday deny
ing the material allegations made by
the plaintiff and alleging that her hus-
band has been an habitual drunkard
ever since their marriage.
Mrs. Dowds denies that she has re.
fused to perform her houehold duties,
but says that in addition to them she
is often forced to care for their live.
took and do other work about the
farm. She charges that her husband
has threatened her life on various oc-
casions with shotgun. Mrs. Dowds
asks that she be given divorce and
the custody of their children and prop.
er relief. B. r. Sapp is the attorney
for Mrs. Dowds.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
80 The A---~
Scrap Book


'"Thls applicant, gentlemen" began
the chairman OF the education commit
tee, who was considering The appoint
mcnt Of a new head master. states
that he Is a,splcndid disciplInarinn. can
converse nucntly In five languages has
won upward Of a hundred medals and
certificates and has been praised by
several government Inspectors as an
ideal schoOlnnStcr. There IS, however
one drawback TO his application. Our
rules require that the children should
be taught singing, and he admits that
he does not know one note of music
from another
vigorous discussion followed, some
favoring the application and others go
ing against 1t. but the argument was
finally brought to close by the quiet
est member Of the committee, who dry
~ interposed
'Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen-Do
not let us deprive ourselves OF the scrv-
tees Of this paragon for trihing obsta.
Gle. If he cannot teach the boys To
sing, let him teach them to play tho
trumpet. He blows his own remarka.
bly, WELL
After this bit OF sarcasm the paragon
was passed over In favor Of a more
modest applicant Globe.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Rinu REGULATIONS,

Maurice Maetcrlinck. the Belgian
poet. playwright and philosopher, was
once conversing on variety of topics
with an American girl when she said:
II see that pugilists fight in a ring.
What kind of ring is it, Mr.. Macter-
linck? You are an athlete, and so you
ought TO know
The poet, pushing back his thick pep
per and salt hair, smiled and replied:
"In the ordinary sparring match, lin.
tied to seven or eight rounds, an en-
gagcment ring Is used, but when it's 6
fight to finish they always employ
wedding ring"
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Battery Members
HCpnTcd


Mr.. and Mrs. John Baltzell, assisted
by Mr. and Mrs. o. G. Underwood and
Mrs. Andrew Proper, entertained at
their home in East Ohio avenue Friday
evening in honor of five members OF
Battery T. Music was furnished by
Harold Ahrendt, violinist, accompan'
led by his sister, Miss Agnes. at the
piano. Refreshments we're served and
very enjoyable evening was spent
by all.
The members of the battery present
we're: Chief Bugler Oliver Walker,
Harry and Wallace Cummings. Arthur
Garrad and Raymond Swigart. Other
guests we're: Mr.. and Mrs. Fred A.
Ahrendt, Mr.. and Mrs. Swigart, Mr.
and Mrs. Charles Baltzell and daugh'
ter. Miss Bernice, Mr.. and Mrs. An
drew Proper, Mr.. and Mrs. o. Z. un'
derwood, Misses Sadie and Lucille
Coadon, Marie Barber, Herbert Spang
ler Charming Whitney and the host
and hostess.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Too Deep.

At the first training camp at Platts,
burg. an .undeysized. rookie was one
day struggling along through mud that
threatened to enrulf him and his pack.
The company were singing, and when
they came to the chorus he Joined in
with Grewls-and' srunbles,that seemed
to come from well down toward his
belt Beyond. doubt, melody was not
his forte. 4 big, hulking sergeant
came. along.
whats the matter? What are you
bowling abOut?'
I'm singing bass" explained the
"rookie."
Don't do it, my boy" said the SER
geant. You're too deep down already.
You come up to the surface and get the
air"-Youths Companion.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Picked a Good Time,

Smithers got a job in a coal yard
running empty freight cars down hill
The boss warned him to Keep the brake
on and be careful or thered be smash.
Smithers said he would look out.
For a week Smithers did his best.
Then one day he got Needless, and six
empty freights dashed down the hill
like the wind, crashed through the
wooden bunker and landed on Their
sides in the creek.
The boss, yelling and waving his
arms, ran full tilt from the Office, but
Smithers forestalled him quietly.
You needn't come cusSin' and swear
in at me-" he said. 1--WE quit. Phil
adelphia Bulletin. rr..
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Don't Mind.

Don't mind II you're feeling bad.
il won't be long before you're glad.
Don't mind II you're feeling blue.
There's something somewhere waiting you
To LIT the shadow and your care
And heal the haunting, dark despair.
Don't mind It II the day goes wrong.
Perhaps before the night a song
VIII rise around you sweet and clear,
Like magic music to your ear,
And all your weary heart will feel
Responsive to its sweet appeal
Don't mind It II you feel cast down.
Tomorrow you may wear tho crown.
From out the shadows over you
Today tomorrow's sun win strew
The gladdcning and uplifting beams
That fill the heart with brighter dreams.
Baltimore sun.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
BOY THROWN FROM
PONY; ARM BROKEN
Hunts Station Lad Meets
With Painful Injury To
Right Elbow

Frank, the nine-year-old son of Mr..
and Mrs. Charles Van Alta of near
Hunts Station, suffered fracture and
dislocation of his right elbow Thurs
day evening while riding a pony near
his home. The frisky animal threw
the child from its back and he fell in
such a manner that his elbow struck
a stone in the road.
The child was brought to this city
and an X-ray examination of his arm
made by DR.. S. E. Deeley showed the
above injuries.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Fabric Gloves.

Fabric gloves have gained a great
vogue since the beginning Of the Euro
pean war. One sees women wearing
them for all but evening occasions.
Some of the fabric weaves are so fine
and so cleverly made that one cannot
tell them from suede at a short di5-
,ance, and they are shaped to the hand
with a care rfiat was never before be
,toweA on this kind of glove. Gray is
host effective, as are some shades OF
,ueIe and tam.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
WILL HOLD SPECIAL
SERVICES AT THE
ST. PAUL'S CHURCH

A corporate celebration OF the holy
communion will be held at the st.
Paul's Episcopal church next Sunday
morning at $3.50 a. m. for the boys of
the parish who have enlisted in the
service of our country. Their families
and friends are invited to join with
them in this service. 1t may be the
last opportunity before they are moved
to cantonment to receive holy com.
munion in the home parish.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
Miuht Have the Habit.

A man was very sick. He had good
doctor. but the doctor was puzzled
about his case, so lie held consulta
ton. -Four other doctors came, looked
wise. shook their heads and went away
Then the original doctor summoned the
patients wife.
II must tell you that your husband
is IN serious condition." he said. I'll
he is religlously inclined should ad
wise that you send for minister with
out delay"
"Yes, DOCTOR" answered the wife
"Shall just get the family minister
"r will he need consultation!-Cleye
land Plain peader.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1917-08-28
TO SECURE ONE.
NAN IN EVERY 4
FROM LAST zoo.
Only 81 Percent Claiming Ex-
emption Because Of
Dependents
BELIEVE 65 WILL BE
QUALIFIED FOR ARMY
Draft Board To Have Nest
Egg Of Fl For The
Second Call

There are two outstanding features
In connection with the last 200 men
called by the draft board to complete
Knox county's quota in the new nation
al army.
One of these is the fact that but
b2R% are claiming exemption because
OF dependents as against nearly 9O%
In the first 10 examined two weeks ago.
The other feature is that the board
believes 1t will be able to certify to
the district board one man cut of cv-
cry four instead of one in five, as was
the case with the first group
AS is seen from the resume Of the
work above there are 80 mon who make
no exemption claims. The board cs-
Inmates that at least II claims will he
denied, so with the 15 men already cor
tilted, there will be a total of 60 Knox
county young mon ready to be called
TO arms by the government. OF these,
but A will go the first CALI leaving
the local board nest egg" of 81
men for the second call if it ever
comes.
During the next few days, the board
will busy itself examining the lO5
claims for exemption which have been
filed with it. OF these, but three are
because of support of parents and one
because of religious objections, loav-
fro hoI Of cd wi m
make the support of their wives and
families the basis of their claims.
On Thursday two men, Monroe
Elites of 21O West Ohio avenue and
Claude Zeigler of Maplewood avenue,
failed to appear and a third, Dan L..
Chase, was certified to the Miami Coun-
ty board for examination.
OF the remaining AZ, SO were passed
and 13 rejected, while James A. Brick
er, member of Battery f, was not
examined. There were % claiming
exemption and presenting no claims.
Those who passed and claimed eX-
emption because of dependents are
Arthur L. Gilbert, Hoy Lunde, Clinton
Reed, Edgar C. Cochran, Lewis Sar-
gent, Jr., Clayton NJ. Borden, William
Hall, Daniel f. Doup, Stanley ID. Mas
teller, George c. Stamm, Amzie T,
Hunter, j. f. Kinney, John G. Lever
ing, James o. Staats, William ii. Ran
som, James A. Greer, George Knecht
Jerry Harding, Elmer J. Kaylor, Ross
e. Wolfe, Edgar j. BlochGr and Harry
H. Willard.
Those who passed and made no eX
emption claims are: Orlo Spearman
Sidney B. Sage, Walter Robeson, liar
ry r. Gardner, Roscoe w. Porter
Luther ID. Welch, Lester Page, Franl
]. Clutter, William y. Kilgore, Jr., ed
gar J. Weber and Thomas e. Fike,
Those who failed to pass the exam
ination are: Charles G, Carter, Clay
P. Lytle, Humphrey d. Smith, Carl M
Taugher, Charles e. Welsh, James w
Tighe, ]. B. Foote, Floyd E. Borden
C. Lee Wolfe, Ray Hoeilick, Edsa
Michaux, Glenn Vince, Wcndall' w
Stillwell.
In addition, Mark Hanna Cam ant
Harry F. Brown passed "Wednesday
claim exemption because Of depend
ents.
Jacob Karr, a patient at the Ohi
State Sanatorium, was rejected ThurS
day. He was examined for the WI
loughby board.