Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1917-05-24
The BACHELORS
CLUB
There Was a Penalty For
Marriage
BY RICHARD MARKLEY

n-t-E-s-.t--s--g- II -. :,
The Bachelors club was an associa-
ton Of men who regarded themselves
as being especially happy in not hav-
ing wife. child or home and who look
ed upon women as designing persons
who made il their business TO enslave
men. usually 10y some underhandcd
means altogether reprehcnsiblc.
The Bachelors club came TO order,
the president in the chair.
"lNlow bachelors" he said, zone OF
our number has committed matrimony.
Edward Hammerton has taken 10 him.
self wife | will read article : of
our constitution. applying TO his case:
when any member shall become en-
| gagged or has been married he shall pay
a fine and his membership in the club
shall cease. lie shall state the arts by
which he was SHARED. II there are palli-
ating circumstances in Ills case lie shall
| not pay the whole fine. but such portion
OF II as tho club may consider Just
! amount in his case.
MIR Hammerton will now make his
statement"
Il assure YOU, gentlemen" said the
retiring member, that no intention
whatever TO desert YOU ever entered
my head until diabolical combination
OF young women in the town where /
live forced matrimony upon me. These
persons organized club based on a
custom prevailing in foreign land
Between the mountains Of India and
Persia. | have since understood. is "A
powerful tribe. among whom the ladies
can choose their own husbands. All Il
single woman has 10 do when she
wishes 10 change her state is 70 send
servant 10 pin Handkerchief 10 the
hat or The man on whom her fancy
lights and he is obliged 10 marry her
unless he can show that be is too poor
TO purchase her at the price her father
requires.
Inspired b, this suggestion from
land where secret vcnomous methods
undcrlie all social conditions. every un-
married woman in the town where I
live formed a club-rathcr. entered upon
a conspiracy-io force the bachelors
into matrimony. one morning. being
about 10 leave my home. on taking my
hat from the hall closet something soft
and scented futtcred against my hand
! shuddcred had touched The Indian
poison flower and was reminded Of its
waxen petals aud its seductive odor.
Taking the hat 10 the light. saw
pinned 10 it blue silk handkerchief
IN one corner OF which was embroid-
cred my monogram in white silk
thread. Observe. gentlemen. tie in
sinuating method of this designing
creature. She not only knew how dear
10 every man is his alma mater, but
she was aware that blue is tile color
Of my college
Mind YOU. gentlemen, | did not at
the time know OF this society or of
its malevolent purpose. for the mem
bers kept both secret 90 long as posi-
BILE. ! asked my butler how the hand
kerchief came to be pinned To my hat
he said that the servant OF Miss Euge-
MIA TomliDson. living at the other end
OF the street. had called before was
out Of bed, asked for my hat and at
tached the handkerchief Why he had
done SO be did not state.
Going TO my club after had break
tasted | sat down Ia cigar and u
paper In the paper | read full a.
count Of the organization and piac-
tees OF this pestilent Indian plant that
had been imported TO our soil. also
read a list OF the bachelor heads that
had already fallen and was aghast TO
see the names OF two OF my most init
mate friends
Great heavens | cried. the per-
have already received deadly Black
Hand notification"
The lady who had thus marked me
for matrimonial misery. both from her
beauty and general attractiveness was
all powerful. Any man on whom she
pinned the skull and crossboncs must
walk the plank. There was no hope
for him Nevertheless. though seeing
the signal Ia hcave -. ! made up my
mind 10 pay no attention TO it, sim
ply sailed on, minding my own busi-
ness
why didn't you take to an aero
planeT n member interrupted.
Rats" "Buncombe." Brave boy"
and the like greeted the speaker.
One week after the receipt Of The J
signal. he continued. the period given /
bachelors hy this club :
met one OF my most respected women /
friends on the street. She cut me dead. /
The same day met several others ana
received The cut direct from an Here +
was indeed q boycott You must re-
member. gentlemen. thar. although We
10 not wish 10 surrender our indcpond. i
ence To these creatures a. hc ostra.
cizcd by lhcu is Il serious natter Din
time was our hy cyory unmarried
woman IA town i:csideS Tile iAo~t at- .
iractiyc married women Wcrc honorary
members of br ciph and ioiucd ifp
boycott
And thcr. gentlemen appeared Tie
most aiuriag feature or tnl. malignant
ln~t of al' my feminine az.
luainianccs Mc 'hn .rl iHio whose
tolls it was intended iHu shnam far
\ seductive blush mcl~pr,ad hcr fca.
lures. a heu Ngrra smile rarcd Her
vermilion lips aaa showed two rows If
pearl- beneath tiirn = mndcs dro. sing
" the eye. These women Who had
united to assist Ga uar'ng mt wcrc ali
denying me me hcncd, af ihcir society
For the purpose 81 driving ire like an