Tombstone epitaph., 1917-12-09
CHAPTER xxIli.-continued.

CHAPTER xxill.-centinued.
 -t6I
 There was something peculiarly hor- rifying to him In the exhibition Ran dolph was making of himself. He'd never In his life taken q drink ex- cept convivially. and then he took as little as would pass muster. Going off alone and deliberately fuddling one self. as n means of escaping unplcas- ant realities, struck him as an act of the basest cowardice. But for that picture of Rose he'd have gone long ago and left Randolph to his bemused reflections. Only Rose had asked him to drop in on the doctor for visit. Did she mean she wanted hin to try to help?
 He tried. though not very success fully. to conceal his violent disrelish of the task. when he said: Look here. Jim. What is the matter with you7 Are you sober enough to tell mel"
 Randolph put down his glass. T have told you" he said. ''rm Eleaaor's kept man. We'll kept. oh. yes! Beau tifuiiy kept. I'm nothing but pos session of hers! \ trophy of sorts. an ornament. I'm something she's made ! have a big practice. I'm the most fashionable doctor in Chicago. They come here, the women. in shoals. . That's Eleanor's doing. I'm a faker, fraud. l pose for them. play up. I give them what they want. And that's her doing. They go silly about ,1 s.. -,,l
 T haven't done lick of honest work in the last year. I cant work. She won't let me work. She-smothers me. Wherever I turn, there she is. smooth ing things out. trying to make 1t easy. trying to anticipate my wants. I've only one want. That's 10 be let alone She can't do that. She's unsuitable There's always something more she's trying to get. and I'm always tryin: to keep something away from her. and failing"
 And why? Do you want to know why. Aldrich? That's the cream of the thing. Because we're in love with cach other. She wants me to live on her love. To have nothing else to live on.
 "Do you want to know what my mo- tion of heaven is: It wouli be to go of alone. with one suit of clothes in handbag. oh. and fifty or q hundred dollars in my pocket-I wouldn't mind that; don't want to be . tramp--to some mining town, or slurn. where could start general practice: where the things I'd get would be accident cases, confinement cases: real things urgent things. that night and day are III alike to. I'd like to start again and be poor; get this stink of easy money out of my nostrils. I'd like to see if l could make good on my own.
 q came back from New York. after that look at Rose. meaning to do 1t {: meaning to talk 1t out with Eleanor and tell her why. and then go. Well, l talked. Talks cheap. But l didn't 20. I'll never go. I'll go on getting softer and more of fake; more dependent. And Eleanor will go on eating me up until the last thing in me that's me myself is gone. And then. some day. she'l look at me and See that I'm noth- ing"
 Then. with suddenly thicken,-d speech Gan afrectation, perhaps), he looked up at Rodney and demanded
 What are you looking so s-solemn about? Can't you take joke? Come along and have another drink"
 "No." Rodney said. I'm going. And you'd better get to bed"
 Rodney walked home that night like man dazed. The vividness of one blazing idea blinded him. The thing that Randolph had seen and lacked the courage to do; the thing Rodney de- spised him for a coward for havii.S failed to do-that thing Rose had done.
 Without knowing it. yielding to blind. unscrutinized instinct. he'd want ed Pose to live on his love. He'd tried 10 smooth things out for her. anticipate her wants. He'd wanted her soft. help less. dependent. She'd seen. even then something he'd been blind to-soine- th;..< he'd blinded himself to: that lcye. by itself. was not enough. That 1t could poison, as well as feed.
 But she had won, among the rest of her spells of victory. the thing she had OTtSIIaliy SCI out to SSt- eAAS
 ship and respect Friendship. ne re membcred her saying, was thing you had to earn. When you'd earned it. Il couldn't be withheld from you. Well 1t was right she should be told thai made to understand it to the full. He coulSn't ask her to come back to him Hut she must know that her respect was as necessary now to him as shed once said his was to her. He must sec Ter and tell her that.
 He stopped abruptly in his walk. His homes. as the Psalmist said turned tt water. How she aid he confront thai gaze of hers. which knew so much ahe understood so deepiy-he with th' memory of his two last ignomin'ous eh counters with her behind himf