Middletown transcript., 1917-05-12


today, got her to go with me to a
specialist" Her voice got little
harder and cooler. "Mother'll never be
well, Rose. Her heart is getting fab
by-degenerating, he called it. He
says we can't do anything except to
retard the progress of the disease. It
may go fast, or it may so slowly. That
| attack she had was just a symptom,
| he said. She'll have others. And by
and by, of course, fatal one"
Still she didn't look around from
the window. She knew Rose was cry
ing. She had heard the gasp and
choke that followed her first announce
| lnent of the news, and since then, ir-
| regularly, a muffled sound of sobbing
She wanted to go over and comfort
the young, stricken thing there on the
bed, but she couldn't She could feel
nothing but dull, irresistible anger
that Rose should have the easy relief
of tears, which had been denied her.
Because Portia couldn't cry.
"IIe said" she went on, "that in this
climate, living as she has been doing,
she'd hardly last six months, but that
in a bland climate like southern Cali
fornia, if she's carefully watched all
the time to prevent excitement or over
eXertiOn, she might live 4 good many
years.
so that's what we're going to do.
I've written the Fletchers to look out
place for us, and I've sold out my
business-tOOk an offer that l refused
month ago. AS soon as we hear from
the Fletchers, We'll begin to pack
Within week, hope"
Rose said a queer thing then. She
cried out increduously: "And you and
mother are going away to California
to live! And leave me here all alone !"
"All alone with the whole of your
own life" thought Portia, but didn't
say it.
Il can't realize it at ALL" Rose went
on after a little silence. ''It doesn't
seem-pOssibie. Do you believe the
specialist is right? Can't we go to
someone else and make sure?"
whats the use?" said Portia. "Be-
sides, if l drag mother around to any
more of Them she'll know"
Rose looked up sharply. doesn't
she know?"
NO." said Portia in that hard, even
0f 70
You know mother well enough to know
what she'd do if she knew the truth
about IT. Don't you know how it's
always pleased her when old people
could die-'in harness. as she SayS?"
The ordeal, or the worst of it, was
| over. Rose was dropping fOrlornlS
forward, one arm clasped around her
! knees, and she was trying to dry her
tears on the sleeve of her nightgown.
| The childiikc pathOS of the attitude
caught P0rtia like the surge of a wave.
She crossed the room and sat down on
the edge Of the bed. She'd have come
still closer and taken the girl in her
arms, but for the fear of starting her
crying again.
Yes" Rose said. That's mother.
And l guess she's right about it. 1t
must be horrible to be half-alive-to
know you're no use and never will be.
And you've gone through this all alone
without ever giving Rodney and me a
chance to help. l don't see why YOU
did that, Portia.''
"Oh, 1 saw it was my Job" Portia
said. in that cool, dry tone of hers.
at had to be done, and there was no
one else to do it. SO what was the
use of making fuss?'
"Well, there's one thing" Rose said.
Il believe it'll do you as much good as
mother. Getting rest And a
nice little bungalow to live in-iust
you and mother. II sort of
wish I was going, too"
Iortia laughed-a ragged, unnatural
sounding laugh that brought look of
puzzled inquiry from Rose.
"Why, nothing" POrtia explained.
"1t was Just the notion Of your leav-
ing Rodney and all you've got here
all the wonderful things you have to
do-for what We'll have out there.
The idea of your envying me is
something worth a small laugh, don't
you thnk?"
Roses head dropped lower. She
| buried her face in her hands. 81 do
envy you," she said. There was a
dull, muffled passion in her voice. 'Why
shouldn't I envy you? You're so cold
and certain all the time. You make
up your mind what you'll do and you
do it. l try to do things and just
make myself ridiculous"
you've got husband" said Portia
in a thin, brittle voice. ''That might
count for something, should think"
Eyes, and what good am to him?"
Rose demanded. "He can't talk to
me-not about his work or anything
like that. And l can't help him any
way. I'm something nice for him to
make love to, when he feels like do
ing it, and I'm nuisance when
make scenes and get tragic. And
that's all. That's-marriage 1 guess.
You're the lucky one, Portia."
The silence had lat ted good while
before Rose noticed that Portia had