The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1917-08-16
6 | f A n | n 6 s
From Orr EXCHANGES

-"Don't you find it hard these times to
meet expenses ''Hardi Man alive l
meet expenses at every turn
Teacher: Chow many kind. Of poetry
are there?" Pupil: 'Three." Teacher:
"What are they!'' Pupil: "Lyric, dra-
matte, and epidemic.
"Words beginning with 't-w,'" said the
amateur etymologist. ''like'twist and 'twirl,
have the value of turning or winding. Can
you give me another one?'' "Two."
-s'I'm very much afraid that Jimmie
isn't trying enough" wrote an anxious
mother to the teacher. ''You are quite
wrong wrote back the tired teacher.
Jimmie is the most trying boy in the class
-''They had lost their way in their new
and expensive car. There's a sign dear.
Are we on the right road?' With his fash
light he read, TO the Poolhouse.' YES
he answered. Were on the right road and
we didn't know it, -
Jimmy had not come up to his fathers
expectations at school. why is it that you
are at the bottom of the class?' Il can't
see that it makes any difference whether
am at the top or the bottom; they teach the
same at both ends
GA kind-hearted little city girl, visiting
in the country, saw one evening a mother
hen about to gather hsr brood under her
wings. The lite girl rushed up to the hen
and shouted: 'Shoo, you naughty thing!
How dare you sit down on those beautiful
little birdsl'''
For nearly two hours she inspected limo
leums. Roll after roll the clerk brought
out. but still she was dissatisfied. At last
he paused in despair. 'I'm sorry, madam"
he said, ''but if you can wait l can get more
from the factory. Perhaps you will call in
again." The prospective customer rose.
eyes, do" she said graciously, "and ask
for one or two with very small designs, suit
able for putting in the bottom of a canary's
cage
-"How is Robert getting along at Col
lege?" asked the minister, who was being
entertained at dinner.
"Splendidly," said the proud father, who
then went on to tell of his sons various
social, athletic and scholastic successes, and
the minister said it was fine thing to be
college bred.
That evening little James, who had been
an interested listener, said:
"Papa, what did Mr.. Brown mean by
college breadf'
''Oh, that" said papa, who had been
looking over his sons bills, sis four years
loaf"
little Fred had recently taken up the
study of physiology, which he found so in
teresting that he was eager to apply its
teachings in the home. Particularly as re-
garded the daily food, Fred was inclined to
condemn or approve uncompromisingly
from his physiological standard.
One evening Mrs. M. was serving some
fresh apple cider, when Fred's uncle joking
ly said, How about this cider being good
for US, Fredf'
Master Fred, looking very serious, re-
piled, I don't think it is very good for US,
Uncle Ray, for our Physiology says cider
contains ten per cent alcohol
is that so?' said Uncle Ray. We'll, how
can you explain the case of our neighbor,
Mr.. Franklin, who raised a great many
apples, made cider by the barrel, and all
his life drank quantities of it and yet lived
to be ninety-four years olds'
Little Fred felt his pet study was being
severely assailed, and it was up to him to
defend it with clinching argument, 50 with
quivering lips, he stammered, We'll, I-I'l
(-bet he wasn't very healthy when he died."