Licking Valley courier. [volume] (West Liberty, Ky.) 19??-current, 1917-02-22
ALL CLOCKS FAULT
UNCLE HI NOT TO BE BLAMED
FOR THE TROUBLE.
His Housewarming System Was All
Right, but Hard Luck Took a
Hand in the Game and Re-
suits Were Disastrous.

$50 your Uncle Hiram Peabody was
here while your husband was travel.
ing, and his wife was nursing her
grandchildren" said Mrs. Green, set
ting herself for a chat. 81 expect he
enjoyed his visit%
"MOst of the time" answered Mrs.
Biddle. 'tf1eswas as pleased as a boy
TO get here, and for a while he talked
as II he'd like to live in town, where
there were so many clever inventions
to look at. He's quite an inventor him
self, you know, and has all sorts of
automatic arrangements in his house
and barn. Even here he rigged track
down cellar to run the coal and ashes
back and forth, and fixed the clothes
lines new way the first week, and
was kind Of vexed because didn't care
for a trapdoor in the kitchen and a
,dumb-waiter to the cellar.
"Then he went into brown study
over something, and took to staying
down cellar most of the time. One day
i missed an old alarm clock from
Henry's den, the meat grinder, a spring
from the laundry door, the can opener
and the hinges from the salt box. just
then Uncle Hiram ran up the cellar
stairs, ,all mussed and sOoty, but smil.
ling, and insisted that / must go right
down and see his invention for open
ling the furnace drafts in the morning
1T was clever, too, with wires and pul.
Ileys overhead, and piece Of broom
handle fitted on the clock winder, SC
that when the alarm went off II
dropped welght-my meat grinder
mind you !-and somehow opened the
drafts, so that the house would be
warm when we got up. Uncle was
itickled to death with it, and of course
/ admitted it; but warned him moi
ito set his alarm too early, for our fur
mace has tremendous draft.
st worked first rate for few days
but the old clock got to acting up;
sometimes it wouldn't go off, and ther
kagain a little jar would start the alarm
while uncle was setting it, so he had
to come upstairs on tlptoe. The might
before Henry came there was colo
shnp and high wind, and we went tC
tbed early, for he va - arrive about
lsix In the morning. A6out two Evoke
lup with start. It was so hot could
hardly breathe, and there was strong
lscorehed smell. Then heard racket
iiike pots and pans falling downstairs
Burglars, or fire, or bOthT says tC
myself, all bewildered; and made fol
the upstairs telephone and called VI
the emergency number before l wa'
awake enough to know whether l want
led the police or the fire department
1t seems they understood | wantet
both. Uncle Hiram's room was empty
and I began to think. that maybe II
been hasty about telephoning. ! go
Henry's old revolver and went dowI
cautlously. The kitchen gas was burn
ing, and the cellar door was open, ant
the cooking things that hang in the Gel
larway were strewn all the way dowI
the stairs. Someone was down cellar
hanging around and saying things, ant
II thought uncle might be struggling
with burglar. So | called, 'Surren
der or I'll shootp But Uncle Hiram
called back:
"'Don't shoot, Maria, it's only me
Get me pail Of water, quick!
"You see, his alarm had gone off to,
soon; and as uncle had the warmes
room in the house, he had walked Vi
and rushed down to see about 1t. BE
fore | could get the water, two police
men and the fire engines came and
good big crowd, too. The house WASH
ON fire, but so near II there was no ful
In It; and the flremen said things tha
hurt uncle's feelings, and so did Henr
when he came.
"Poor Uncle Hiram wasn't the sam
after that. He hardly noticed the ma
chlnery blueprints Henry brough
nOine, WHICH shONcu hc WuS loN III III
mind, and he didn't even read the scien
,tifc journals. He lost his appetite an
began to criticize the food. About blue
bird time, when he heard that Aun
Julia was ready to come home, he
grandchildren being through with tn
measles, he insisted on going back t
lget things ready for her, l was wol
ried for fear he was going to be sick
but Aunt Julia writes that he's invent
ling new plow and n scarecrow wit
"a phonograph arrangement; so CUES
he's all right again."-Youth's Con
panion.
Not the First Time.