The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-11-08

s A shirt may be said to have reach
ed middle age when all the tail ha
< been cut off in patches for the col
: lar band.
. Civil service is a musical instru
, ment used most exclusively by thu
{ fellows who are in office and like
! their jobs.
War has brought into common use
another word-camoufage What
does it mean? Ask the man who
drinks near beer.
There is one consolation in the in
creased postage. 1t will cost your
creditors an additional cent TO dun
you by mail every month.
4 4 4
They're vaccinating calves in the
BramwelI country. What? No, no.
Not the calves you are thinking about.
The calves are being vaccinated for
blackleg.
Z 4 q
Bette, who was spending a few
weeks in the country, heard rooster
growing one morning and stamped her
foot angrily, exclaiming: "Oh, you
shut up; you don't lay any eggs"
Until the sugar shortage is over,
your sweet tooth may as well be
pulled. Those whose sweet teeth are
false, of course, may leave them in
the sugar bowl on the sideboard.
81 think you said, Rastus, that you
had brother in the mining business
in the west" "Yeh, boss, that's
right "What kind of mining-gold
mining, silver mining, copper min
ing?" "No, sab, none O. those; kali
somining."
Two men were being taken to the
penitentiary. "How long is you in
for?" Jim asked John. "For three
years." replied John. "How long is
you going to stay?" asked John.
"From now on replied Jim.
z 4 4
A man went into hardware store
and inquired how much a bath tub
for a child cost 1.-TWO dollars and
half" was the reply. "W -h-e-w"
whistled the customer. "We1l have
to go on washing the baby in the
coal scuttle till the prices come down"
One evening a small boy was sitting
close to his fathers chair studying |
his grammar lesson. The boy looked |
up and asked, "Papa, what part of
speech is woman?" "Part of Speech"
replied the father in apparent aston
ishment. "She amt no part of speech.
She's the whole DANCED thing"
4 q z
Harold, aged 7, was being reproved
for throwing away an apple core of
wholly incompatible with
war economy. "There are many poor
his mother explained, "who
would be only too glad to have what
you have thrown away. "Well," re-
torted Harold, "what good will it do
them if l have to eat it,"
Smart things are not always said
by college professors or those who
make business of showing off their
brains. About the smatest thing we
ever heard was said by motherly
I'D soul who makes no pretensions to
education, brains or superior knowl-
,dge. She was just an ordinary hui
nan being. On being asked why she
lad never remarked she replied, 81 !
lave never run across a man l would [
rade my pension for"
Queer, isn't it the hearts desire of !
ONE people. An old miner, who had t
lug and prospected and then dug {
ONE more, suddenly struck it rich. '
laid he: Yesterday | was poor; to- i
ay | am rich. l was just asking my t
amily the other day, now that we
ould have things, what they would h
ather have. Now, John, he wants a o
orse, and Molly wants a new dress,
nd Susie says she'll take books. BY d
he way, wife, what would you rather d
ave-" said he turning to his spouse. il
he old lady never hestitated minute d
Well" she said, "Pm pretty tired a
ltting wood with a dull ak; I'll take Il
new ak" a
z Z q =
Don't take my valued time to tell
bout the pranks of H. C. L. l know
takes lot of dough to keep fell
W on the go, to pay the rent and buy
lie shoes and clothes and other things
e use, to pay for milk and eggs and
eat and other things we have to eat;
1T when your woes you would re-
,arse remember that they might be
orse. Be glad you have the price to