The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1917-07-11

lodges a meat-tin.)
Bill "But is things that bad in
Blighty, Harry? ?"
Harry: bad. It's worse than that.
It's one long blooming fatigue on
emergency rationsi from revelly to
I,revelly. Everything is altered from
what 1t used to was
Paddy: Have they been after
shifting the Nelson Monument? ?"
Harry: SCI dunno. You can't see the
| old Horashio for the advertisements:
Tosdo this and to do that-by order;
land oil the orders is contrary"
| Bill: This ere rumor that they've
stopper racing. it amt true, Harry, is
it? For Gawd's sake. Harry, don't
tell us they've. been and gone and
stopped racingr'
Harry: (after taking a solemn puff
at his pipe: THAT'S just what I do
tell YOU
Paddy: .sinsation, in which the
Judge and jury also joined.'
Bill: Poor old Blighty! And I've
got a father and two bright young
brothers at home"
Sandy: IF you're a specimen
| "a brief but violent interchange of
iprojectiles of empty meat-tins.)
Bill: poor old Blightyt No Derby
Day! No City and Sub! No Newman
ket! No sweeps!''
Paddy: TITS asshame, so it Isl And
us with our quiet little race meetings,
and our football matches and our
crickets, and our compositions, nice
and convenient. behind the liner
Strewth. 1t must be awful.
Sandy: But the whisky's still to
be had"
Harry: sIp a manner of speaking.
If it's you're luck DAY you'll find a
pub. open, and If you've the wealth of
a Battalion @. M. S. you'll be able
! to buy drink. If It's not a week
end. it may be a whisky. Boys.s just
listen to me- The day before I cross
ed the submarine pond I bought a
Ibitter-and what do you think it cost
Sandy: "A kick On your bomb
proof shelter
Harry: "shut it! 1t cost me six
pence
Chorus rstrewth."
Bill: "And here they begs you, with
tears In their eyes, will you please
have a little tot of ru1n!''
Harry: Tobacco, now! And fags!
We can't get out of the way oe them
out here, can we? But at home the
price is going UP in tuppences like
a blooming taximeter. goes in down
at Poplar to buy an salf ounce Of
shag. and 'thruppence apenny, If
you please, SIR says the medically
unfit behind the counter Blimey!r
Sandy: .sThe puir ladies, the puir
1addies. ] wonder now, what they
hovo ~, r,ov For srrffo,,
Harry; ttThem,s the things that
mostly touches -iis men. But look at
the women. Course everybody sd do
ing pack drill at home, except the
conscientious objects and, instead of
doing time they're marking 1t, but so
long as 4 man has his smoke and his
glass he doesn't mind. With atwo-
man it's different When she's been
sweating at 1t in a factory all day,
or p'raps all night, she wants her bit
Of change and amusement when she
comes off duty So to make things
easy for her they've a whacking tax
| on the theatre tickets! And should
not wonder If they go and close all
the theatres altogether presently.
Sandy: i. And turn them into Gov
eminent Departments for the produce
ton Of clerks and statistics
Harfy. rdPS you re right,
though ! dunno whaheth ell you, re
driving at. But It amt right when
we get free Charlie Chaplins and Bat
TALON rags. and the brightest birds
and swankiets stars OF the West at
our little old concerts that the missus
and Kids should be put upon like
this-
Sandy: s'But. Harry, man, this is
important! DO we have to pay the
taxf,'
Harry mo error! When we are
on leave or wounded or anything
i they treat as as civilians Course If
a blooming millionaire cougs up free
tickets for a whole platoon there's no
tax, But II want to treat the missus
and kids it's stump up, Tommy
Sandy: We'll, that. beats Bannock-
burn Taxing the trenches
Paddy: The company will now
oblige with three cheers for the gal
liant lads in Khaki,
Harry: II had lonk talk with my
missus. And she's fair goth the
hump what with this and that
Don't know how to make both ends
meet, she don't Food FOODS a lux
urys Potatoes and sugar? Find, the
Lady's kids game to it. Prices? You
never saw anything IKE that in the
five bob ring. And everybody seems
to be making a bit out of the nissus,
pore old girl! You never saw such
tricks and lodges. They wouldn't do
1t IL we was homer
Chorus: mo, by Gaud! No by
Gaud!'
Paddy: ..And it it was myself was
at home they wouldn't be starving
the snissus and kids
Bill. 9'sWe1I, you just amt at home,
SO you needn't worryI''
Paddy: but I will be!"
Sandy: sonyhow, they're no under
discipline
Harry when was you last home
on leave? And was you under the
'fluence from the start to finish !?
They're under fifteen million and
three-quarter disciplines-and it's the
odd quarters is the most trouble. Fiji
teen million billion and three-quarter
orders all at ONCE, and all contrary.
And they amt them plain. satisfac-
tory orders you've got to obey and
have done with it They're blamed
voluntary orders you ought to obey,
and It'd take a Scottish Canadian In
a Irish regiment to find his way
about in them"
are %
Harry ssNot hair Anvhodu raan