The Washington times., 1917-03-24
WEEKLY COMMENT
OF THE RADIATOR
Frank Discussion of Motor
Matters by The Times Auto
mobile Editor.
BY MONTE w. sOHN.


business.
We hope all Washington motorists
ARE present because, while some of
you may know more than the pro-
fessor. there are good many Of you
who, If we must revert.to classic con-
versation, are not hep to first prin-
ciples.
We refer to that etiquette of respon-
sibility known as the fortnightly
slapdown, or meeting Bill"
Bill is a modest guy at first.
But you can't expect Bill to be
modest forever.
His boss may be a tire man, an
accessory firm, or a garage
But he comes around to get square
with You,. and you should meet him
and settle up.
Some motorists, my children, make
q practice of avoiding Bill. They
sneak up alleys and in byways where
Bills boss won't see them. Or else,
when Bill comes along, about the first
Of the month, they deny all acquaint-
Rnce with him.
Bill has a decided mission.
Has Rough Time of II.
He doesn't butt in where he doesn't
belong.
But he has a rough time of it,
nevertheless. So many people who
feel the strongest OF business love,
for his boss, deny that they know
Bill.
Ned Negligence, Danny Delinquent,
Charlie Crook, and Frank ForEetit
nave done a lot to make Bills life
an endless marathon of fruitlessness.
Maybe this doesn't happen to you.
POSSIBLY it is because you are a
Door geezer with honest motives and
only q flivver.
Unfortunately, Ned and Dan and
charlie and Frank are often men of
rank in'the commercial world; men of
position and wealth.
they are too busy to bother with
sos accessory debts and 5000 tire ac-
counts which are nine months over
due.
And it isn't as though they weren'.
good for it.
Not at all.
We have heard them resent "the
aceA of jerks garage dunning me for
paltry $685." which is only fifteen
months old.
"And the Reason Was BILL,
A big accessory house had to go to
court to collect an account of 5000 be-
cause the money Mrs. N. got from
hubby to settle her account went to-
ward new clothes.
The list OF instances We could name
is long.
In New York a general supply
house which catered to the upper
West Side motorists, failed for $780,
600 in January.
And the reason was Bill.
He failed on the Job.
He was afraid OF offending Ned and
Dan and Charlie and Frank, because
they would ruin his boss business
among their set II he did. ..
And SO his boss went broke.
Next week Bill may roll around to
see you.
Don't snub him.
When the postman ushers him in,
don't give him the glacial glare.
In the language of the traffic cop
at Blank and Blank streets, "Come
across!'
Speaking of traffic cops, whom we
just casually mentioned, have 'yCu
seen the latest Buick"
This medium of the Buick sales de-
partment contains a beautiful spread
OF the Buick sedan crossing a crowd
ed thoroughfare. 1t looks just as
beautiful as though it were en- ad in
the Sateve Post.
Eut the traffic cop has his mitt
mp palm facing the driver, the car is
three feet from his brogans and the
sign distinctly says COCO"
Never have we seen a traffic cop
SO truly portrayed.
New York has the weirdest wealth
er. Says Harry S. Houpt. OF New
York, in a recent issue of that city's
Foremost Motor Medium, Americans
know that when the weather is
hot II IS also dusty. and that when wet
1t is generally muddy or cold and dis
agreeable"
Probably Harry has it from New
York's weather man.
The upper right hand corner of
the outside page of New YorllSs f.
NJ. NJ. may read. on occasion, Fair
and Colder Tonight followed by Cen
orally Muddy Easterly Winds"
G. A. NJ. writes to inquire. 81 have
driven my 1916 - 1885 miles,