Coulee City dispatch. [volume] (Coulee City, Wash.) 19??-19??, 1917-06-21
THE HELPER
By Pauline D, Edwards.

sure enough give me an invite TO put
my head on the log where 1 kill the
chickens. I've not only made a blum
der, but double blunder, in tryin' to
help two people at once. There was
Charlie Burnes mopin' around, pinin'
because he had no one to help him run
/, his farm, no companion or nothin, and
there was Susan Nutter with step
mother and unhappy at home. !
! thought they'd do well to marry, so
butted in and arranged the matter be-
tween .'em. had no interest in 1t; ]
only consented to be go-between out
O the kindness O. my heart. I'm an
old maid myself and wouldn't marry
the best man on earth. hain't got no
call to marry. l got my own house
and ground all paid for and 500
month from bond and mortgage be-
Sides So I'm out O. the matrimonial
question. But I'm not the only one
in the world to be considered. Mebbe
what'd kill me might cure others.
! Thinkin' that Away, I told Charlie
about Susan and Susan about Charlie.
praised Charlie to Susan, and this,
I together with the hard time she was
anxious to git him. But somehow or
mother she got the idea that if he
seen her he wouldn't have her, so she
told me could tell him If he'd take
her entirely on my recommend it 'ud
be go. Charlie he thought If she seen
what an ungainly Teller he was she
wouldn't have him neither, so he con-
sented didn't see no harm in this, for
Susan was pretty as peach, and Char
! lie was as fine a-lookin' Teller as ever
! follered pillow.
The mornin O. the weddin' helped
Susan to git on white muslin dress,
and when the other fxin's was all on
she looked lovely. The clock struck
the hour for the weddin', the house
was chuck full O. the neighbors-I fur
nished the cake and things-and up
drives Charlie in his two horse wagon,
with suit o. new store clothes on,
lookn' fine and manly. l met him at
the door and TUX him in to the settin'
room, where Susan was a-standln'
waitin'. Susan blushed little, and /
seen mighty pleased look come over
Charles face But there wasn't no
time to git acquainted, for the parson
stepped in. and before they knowed
it they was married. Then, after the
snack set in the dinin' room. Charlie
f11ly l, wife fn hn nd
driv' off, followed by the usual shower
o. rice and old slippers.
! Reckon you'll say there want moth
| in foolish about this, and l don't know
as there would "a been If it could "a
been done without go-between. Y'see
there's natural course SIGH things
have to run, jist like measles. A wrong
EN- in. In Charles and. Susan's case
the courtin and the gittin' used to
workin' in matrimonial harness was
throwed on to EN- oil to onct. If the
courtin' had been done in it's proper
time the new harness wouldn't "a been
so hard to get used to.
/ 1t wasn't three days after the we'd
afire, and she says, says she, Miss
/ Shaw, what'd you go tie me up to SIGH
man as that for?" whats the trou-
ble?' says I. "He never speaks to me
at breakfast no more'n If I'd come in
for hired help" ~ don't know nothin'
bout men, says l, "but ! hearn tell
that they have all sorts O. ways about
EN- that don't mean nothin'. If he don't
want to talk at breakfast, wait till
dinner. Mebbe he'll have somepin to
say by that time that's wo'th hearin'."
Well, she went away only half paci-
fed, and pretty soon in comes Charlie,
and he wants to know what had agin
him to marry him to woman who
talked all the time at breakfast-just
the time O. day he felt clipper and
liked talkin' himself-and wouldn't give
him a chance to get in word. tole
him l was woman myself and knowed
that there was times woman had to
talk and times she had to cry and if he
wanted to git one different from this
he'd have to git her made to order.
| For months they was arunnin' to me
complainin' because l got 'em into
fix, and l got mighty tired of it.
| One evenin' | got out my mare and
driv over to Charles farm. Charlie
was a-sittin' on the porch smokin' his
cob pipe, and Susan was inside dom
the supper dishes. I sit still in the
buggy, with the whip in my hand, for
knowed what was a-goin' to do, and
thought it 'ud be prudent to be ready
to move on student
Charlie" says, says l, II come over
to ak your parding for tyin' y up with
gal that's got one O. the worst tenn
pers ever hearn Of"
hadn't hardly got the words out O
my mouth before Susan comes to
the door wipin' plate with dishcloth
and fire in her eye. whats that v
say?" she says, mighty hot. II says"
says l, 1--WE come over a-purpose to
tell you, Susan, that I'm mighty sorry
for what I done, persuadin you to
marry the worst man in the world to
git on with. He's the consarndest'-
John reached down for the iron
scraper beside the steps, but he was
too late. Susan SHE'D the plate she
was wipin' at me, and it went within