Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1917-06-14

framed for US. Sui1ice it to say that
they went into effect the next morning
according to schedule.
We met at breakfast. / am never al
my best before drink my first cup OF
coffee in the morning, and the thought
Of the inhuman way l was about to
treat my 'tummie" depressed me more
than usual. The table was CHASTITY
| white. unbroken by the usual cheerful
array Of steaming hot dishes. At each
place was large glass of water and n
napkin. What the napkin was for l
failed to discover. imagine 1t was
what the anthropologists would call "a
survival Of culture"
I'VE have fifty-eight five gallon bot
ties Of distilled water" Lucille in
formed us. Il wonder if that will be
enough. 1t amounts to nearly hun
dred gallons apiece"
| made a hasty calculation and de-
cided that hundred gallons of drink
ing water would last me the rest of
my life.
Mrs. Green, Lucile's mother. was pa
tiently cheerful and drank three glasses
Of water like sponge. l didn't care
much for mine. | had previously had no
idea that water was so fiat and taste
less. 1t is also an extraordinarily elus-
i've and clammy thing to put into an
empty stomach which Is eagerly ex-
recting bacon and eggs, mullins and
coffee
II feel better already" Lucille said
gayly as we left the table. "My mind
is clear-l have wasted none of my
vital energy in merely digesting food"
knew that she was quoting Upton
S. Clair, whom was beginning to re-
gard with disfavor, to say the least,
but refrained from voicing my opin-
ion Of a man who will help women to
get even more fool ideas than they can
think up by themselves.
took a cigar from my pocket, cut
the tip or carefully with a silver cut
ter Lucille had given me the previous
Christmas and was about to light it
when she stopped me.
NO, HO, HO, tOu I. Dlu 1 lOE-
get to tell you that while We are fast
ing we have to give up all stimulants
and narcotics, such as alcohol and to-
baccO"
"What-cut out smoking for a week?'
Certainly" she replied firmly. I'm
the first place, If you don't you will be
deathly i'll; in the second place, the
whole object of the fast is to rid the
body Of all toxic poisons, such as nicO-
tine, alcohol and so forth. BY the time
you have done without tobacco for
week l should not be surprised If you
never smoked again."
"Nor me either" I reflected gloomly
out loud. "Ill be dead"
"Of course If you don't care to make
the experiment" Lucille said icily, "Tll
put off the fasting for another week
until Frank Bopp is here. I'm sure he
will be willing to try It,"
This was waving red flag at me.
Frank BOpp was my rival. After her
reference to him l would have gone
without breathing for week if she
had suggested 1t. Bopp IS a thin, con
versational insect who can perch on
the arm of a girls chair and chirp by
the hour. Sometimes l regret that for
architectural and educational reasons
| can't do that, and then l remember
what other men would think Of me /.
| could. and I am solaced. l refrain
rom saying what think of the name
'Ropp."
Thus through my love and jealousy
vas led into deeper water or. shall
say. more water because somebody
handed me n glass of the stuff every
lew minutes. l drank 1t in the vain
nope that l could drown the inner
nan. who seemed to be yelling for
lclp all the time and kicking me Just
Glow the belt buckle when he didn't
;et 1t.
That morning we went for walk.
Walking Is the best exercise In the
world" Lucille stated. 1T is excellent
sor reducing surplus flesh around the
abdominal region"
Invariably she had little singer for
me concealed in any remark she might
make. | have since learned that this
is II sign that II woman takes n proprie-
tary interest in man.
Before we went she fed TOOtles, her
long haired pup. Tootles is one of those
lo2s so constructed by nature that
when You want TO look them in the face
You don't know where to look. often
wondcr If Tootlcs herself isn't in doubt
Us to which end to wag.
isn't Tootlrs going to fast. tooT l
protested. Cant she stand ii as we'll
rs can?"
Possibly she could do it," Lucille
said rs she gave her dog biscuit.
hut she hasn't intelligence enough to
understand why she should so without
Good"
I'm not far above Tootles in intelli-
,enCe. then" l remarked. but under my
breath this time. so she could not hear
After watching Tootles eat we went
walking. Whenever l go walking in
the city hire taAicah. If want to
see nature In all her grandeur do l so
tramping through the woods? l do
not. l buy n seat ut Y moving picture