Evening star., 1917-09-09
HEARD AND SEEN.

ally across is Lew Wallace. With hie
marble frock coat caught just as II
was tapping in a wild gale. Gen. Wal.
iace's eyes are focused on the end OF
his nose
Why go further. There isn't room
for detailed description, and every one
knows that the place is a place of
giooms The majority rules. and IL
Congress gets up any such fool stunt
as to turn over those old birds to the
District Of Columbia let's all see to 1t
that each member of the Senate ana
House has quiet half hour with the
most depressing bunch Of bronze and
marble in the world
Dick" Oulahan was talking to Q
group of White House correspondents
on the day of the honor parade. They
were discussing shop talk and Dick told
of a queerly worded story he had read
in an English country newspaper 1t
was about like this:
James Smith, fifty-tWo a carpenter
at Sloppingt Ion Prime. for the mur-
der of his wife. Ellen, forty-one. bar
maid at the Kings Bird. Olswich. under
most distressing circumstances. in that
he choked her while i'll in bed, today
suffered the extreme penalty for hts
crime. viz: Death"
This is not an exact quotation, but
near enough and the viz: Death.' is
absolutely accurate.
And now listen.
Mr.. Oulahan sent this story, clipped
from the country paper, to Sam Blythe.
who used it in his own story column in
a great weekly magazine. Tho sub
editors, after the manner Of their kind,
cutting. slashing. changing. just to
make sure they have done some work
that day. looked the anecdote all over.
and after viewing il backward and for
ward inside and out. struck out the
word viz and substituted namely
Not long ago Secretary OF War Baker
went over to Secretary of the Navy
Daniels and borrowed the L. S. 8. Sylph
for a little trip down the bay. They
borrow yachts and wsrships up there in
the departments just like ordinary
folks borrow umbrellas.
When the Sylph had reached its desti-
nation there was an English naval ves-
sci somewhere in the neighborhood.
The Englishman couldn't make out the
flag on the Sylph. 1t was a blue one
with four stars.
So the EnglishEan signaled:
What flag is that?"
To which the Sylph wigwagged:
The Secretary of Wars nag.
Thank YOU" ctirped the Britisher.
Don't mention it, replied the jackie
on the Sylph.
He thought that would end it. but the
Sylph was thrown into Mysteries when
the Englishman answered gravely:
Really, We won't say word about it,"
Talk about the returning traveller,
and how he feels his heart beat when
he returns to his native shore from a
long, long sojourn in a foreign land!
Here's Frederick lockwood. New Eng
lander by birth and a resident of Boz
gotta, Columbia. for eighteen years as
consul. newspaper correspondent and
general agent
He landed IN this country a few days
ago. perfectly tickled to death. as the
girls say, to get back to the q. s. A.
But did he fail down and kiss the
shores or offer burnt sacrifices?
He did not.
He had been longing for a good-sized
dish of corned beef hash ever since he
went to Colombia eighteen years ago.
He had been saving up a corned beef
hash appetite all these years. So when
he landed the first thing he did was
to go to restaurant and order Ave
portions of his favorite food.
EARL GOODWIN.