Catoctin clarion., 1917-12-06
An Abuse Of
the Telephone
BY F. A. MITCHELL


Copyright. 1917. Western Newspaper Union.)
'Ill call you up about nine o'clock
and let you know the result"
"YOu can't call me up because I
have no telephone in my house."
mo telephone? Why, l supposed
every house had a telephone uowa-
days."
mine hasn't. 1t had one and l had
1t taken out"
"Why so?"
"Well. there's a little story about it.
II you care to hear it, I'll tell it to
you, You know, live out at Hibton,
an hours ride from the city. When
was first married, my wife was alone
all day, l being in town ut business,
so we concluded to put in telephone
SO that she could call me up once in
while to break her loneliness, or If
anything unusual occurred.
"Well, the first thing to be COM
municated was, Il caught the mouse
l set the trap for; what shall ! do
with it?' The next thing to be COM
municated was. Someone Is Ill in the
house opposite; the doctors convey
ance Is standing before the door
Then she called me up to ask me to
bring her a spool of thread when l
came out in the evening. must walk
six blocks to store where l could
buy the kind she wanted, and she
could get 1t by walking two blocks, or
send for 1t by telephone. ! told her
to do this and she said she didn't like
to ask the storekeeper to send so small
a package costing only two cents. 1t
was the same with an yeast cake.
But all this was nothing to what
happened one night when l stayed in
town taking an account of stock. At
ten o'clock l was rung up and my wife
said: I'm going to bed, dear, It's
awful to think that you won't be ut
home till tomorrow EVENING" tried
to cheer her by promising to go
home early the next evening, and after
telephOning half a dozen kisses |
hung up the receiver and continued
my work Ten minutes later l was
called again:
"'Reginal! Oh Reglnaldv
"'What Is it, dearT
"I hear sounds below. Someone Is
trying to break into the house.
"What could / do? l couldn't ask
my wife to go down and face a rohher.
asked her what the sounds were like
and she said they were like those
made by someone boring.
II now really became frightened
myself. / was not so much afraid OF
burglars attacking my wife; for l
knew that she had her bedroom door
locked and furniture heaped against
1t. What l feared was that she would
be frightened to death. However, l
must plan for her,
NJ called u council Of those working
with me In stock taking, stating that
my wife was locked in her room at
home while burglars were below bor-
Ing in the door, doubtless intending
to make hole to put in an arm to
remove the chain and open the door
All voted 1t complicated case. 1t
was suggested that l telephone the
police at Hilton to 60 at once to my
house, surround 1t and capture the
burglar. / wondered that | had not
thought of this plan myself for 1t
was very simple and telephone mes
sage from me from the city would be
as effective as from my wife in Hilton.
II called up the police In Hilton
and told them to go at once to my
house, where they would find some
one trying to bore his way in. The
man at the desk said that burglars
didn't really effect entrance in that
way, but he would send some men
right over.
"Whlle awaiting the result my wife
telephoned me that she had located
the boring. 1t was at the door of
storm shed which was held closed by
an iron hook. l thought that any
burglar who planned to effect an en-
trance to my house there was fool.
After unlocking the storm door he
would have to open the door within,
which was protected by an excellent
lock.
1T was not long before received
word from the police at Hilton. we
got him. He Is now In a CELL
II at once telephoned my wife that
the danger was past. But realizing
that she had suffered shock, said
that l would go home on the one
o'clock train.
IL reached the house about two
o'clock and found several Of the neigh
bors attempting to soothe my wife,
whose nerves had been terribly
strained. While sympathizlng with
her l received telephone message
from the police that their prisoner
claimed to be my wife'S brother and
desired that l come Immediately and
Identify him.
"'Great heavensl could this be so?'
II answered the summons immedi-
ately and on reaching the station,
there waiting for me sat Jim Cham
bers. my brother-in-law, true enough.
"'What In thunder he began.
"'What the dickens were you try
ing to break in-?"
81 had key to the side door and
was trying to cut away bit of wood
In order to lift the hook on the storm
door,
"'You've scared Mollie out Of her
senses. Why didn't you ringr
"I thought 1 could get in without
waking herr
"Thats the end Of the story and
the end of telephone In my house.
tf the things could be used only for
ouitimota nurnoSes thpy WOuld he n