davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16

He-We'll have to give up our in
tended summer trip. My account.at
the bank is already overdrawn.
She = Oh, John, you are such a
wretched fnancier! Why don't you
keep your account in a bank that has
plenty of money?-Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Obtuse,

"Now, see here!" said the lawyer.
Before take your case | want to
know if you're guilty."
"Am l guilty?" replied the prisoner.
"Wot dyer s'pose. Dyer think I'd
hire the most expensive lawyer in
town if l was innocent?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Great Discovery.

Crawford-I see that there are 150,-
900 varieties of beetles. How did
they ever find that out?"
Crabshaw-Some fellow who owned
a bungalow in the country must have
tried hanging lighted lantern on his
front porch. Lamb.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
BROKEN DOWN
IN HEALTH
Woman Tells How $5 Worth
Of Pinkham's Compound
Made Her Well.
Lima, Ohio. -" j was all broken down
inhealth from a displacement One Of my

lady friends came to
see me and she ad-
vised me to COM
mence taking Lydia
E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound
and to use Lydia E.
Pinkham's Sanative
Wash. Ibegan tax
ing your remedies
and took SIS. .00worth
and in two months
VINO a xue1l wnunars
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
False Alarm.

"a man came into the Office who at
tempted to take my life"
GOOD heavens, John, was he an an
archist?"
"No, solicitor who wanted my BIZ
ography for complimentary write
up. - Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Splendid Nerve.

81 thought Janet would be very
nervous about running her automobile
herself, but the girl is perfectly fear
less."
~ should say she was. The last
person she ran over was a traffic cop."
Baltimore American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Exactly.

"Mr. Briggs was paying extraordi-
nary attention to the lady he took to
supper"
THAT was his wife"
"And said his attention was etxra-
ordinary, didn't II"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Strange Impressions,

"You go to moving pictures instead
of to the saloons?"
"Sure," !" replied Broncho Bob.
"Licker never made the world seem
wilder an dizzier than some o. them
films. Exchange
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Its Class.

"This garden must belong to some
body connected with the ZOO"
"Why?"
81 notice it has in it dogwood, cat
nip, horse chestnut, dandelions, ele-
plants ears and tiger lilies. "-Ex.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
How It Happened.

"Why did you leave your last
placer" asked the boss.
81 didn't leave it. 1t left me"
Rather strange, l should say"
"Not at all. worked in an ammu-
milton factory. indianapolis Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Misplaced,

Heat the club motion was made
to buy a handsome velvet carpet, but
it was laid on the table.
She-What queer place to put a
velvet carpet. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Wants American Lime.

A firm In Spain desires to represent
American manufacturers and exporters
Of general hardware and carpenters
and workshop tools,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
HAVE YOU A SWEETHEART

Son or Brother in camp or training for defense7
If so. mail him package Of Aliens Foot Ease,
the antiseptic Powder for Tired, Aching. Swol-
len Feet, and prevents blisters and sore spots.
Makes walking easy Sold everywhere. 25c.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
CUTICURA COMPILATIONS
Are Usually Remarkably Soft and
cIear-Trlal Free.

Make Cuticura Soap your everyday
toilet Soap, and assist 1t now and then
as needed by touches Of Cuticura
Ointment to soften, soothe and heal.
Nothing better to make the complex
ion clear, scalp free from dandruff
and hands soft and white.
Free sample each by mail with
Book. Address postcard, Cuticura,
Dept. L, Boston. Sold everywhere.
ADV.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
A Measly Haul.

First Burglar Hello, pard! l hav-
en't seen ye since you cracked dat crib
on Jenkins street. Git anything?
Second Burglar-Yes, but l didn't
know it until about week afterward.
l got de measles. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
A Crab.

"They say that what we eat makes
us what we are.
"Then old Flubdub must have lived
upon steady diet of crab meat all his
life. louisville Courier-J Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
His Reason.

Flatbush-You don't go to church.
Bensonhurst-No | don't.
but why are you so prejudiced
against the church,"
"Why? Say, wasn't ! married in
one?" Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Sad Prevention.

"Did Bill try to develop the top
speed of his new auto?"
"No; it turned out to be a case of
arrested development.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Too Busy.

"Is Mr.. Flubdub busy?" asked the
diffident customer.l
"Mr. Flubdub is always busy" re-
piled the pompous attendant.
"Well, let him stay busy"
And that's how Mr.. Flubdub lost a
big order. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
EFFECTIVE MOTH TRAP
NEW DEVICE TO BE USED IN
PLACE OF "BANDINa"
METHOD.
Attractive Place Afforded for Larvae
to Spin cocoons, and Prevents Es-
cape Of lnsects--Wlre Screen
ls Used.

A codling moth trap has been de-
yised by q. 81. Siegler Of the bureau Of
entomology, United States department
of agriculture, to be used as a substi-
tute for what is known as the "band-
ing" method for destroying the codling
moth. The banding method, in which
folded strip Of burlap is wrapped
around the tree trunk, demands con-
siderable amount of labor. and the new
trap is designed to minimize this.
The trap affords an attractive place
for the larvae to spin their cocoons.
and 1t prevents the escape Of the moths
after they emerge from these. The
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Accounting for Il,

"They say the death rate of the
country is. decreasing"
"Well, suppose, for one thing,
most of the Maine guides have been
drafted. Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Hitting the Spot.

IL am something of mind reader,
and can tell by your looks that you
are worried with dark thoughts.
eyes. | am thinking how we are
going to get our winter coal. "-Ex.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16

To keep clean and healthy take DIR.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu-
late liver, bowels and stomach.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
Bigger Pay for You.

Behnke-Walker Business College, Portland
Ore, largest in Northwest trains you in all busi-
ness courses. Enroll any time. Free Catalog.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16
DAIRY PROBLEM
is NOW SERIOUS
Milk and Butter Supplies De-
crease in United States While
Population Increases.
WASTES MUST Be STOPPED
Our Alice Are Short Large Quantities,
and tho Burden Of Replenlshment
Must Fall on North
America.

The food administration has Issued
the following statement on dairy con-
ditions:
Milk and butter supplies are de-
creasing In the United States, while
our population is increasing. The
dairy herds Of Europe are diminish
ing rapidly because Of the conditions
created by war, and there is no prob
ability Of improvement In these condi-
tions. The dairy problem In this coun-
try, therefore, is not only war emer-
gency problem, but one that will con-
tinue years after the war.
The worlds dairy supplies are de-
creasing rapidly for two important
reasons. First, the dairy cattle of Eu-
rope are diminishing, for Europe is be-
ing driven to eat Its cattle for meat;
second, the diversion of labor to war
has decreased the fodder supplies, and
the shortage of shipping has limited
the amount of imported fodder, and
therefore the cattle which can be sup
ported and the productivity Of the indi-
vidual COW have been reduced. Even
our own dairy supplies are not keeping
pace with our growth of population,
for our per capita milk supply has
fallen from 90 to rs gallons annually,
in the past is years. Yet, today we
must ship increasing amounts Of dairy
products to our allies.
Diverted to Germany.
The dairy supplies Of the allies In
normal times come to considerable
degree from western Scandinavia, Hol-
land and Switzerland, but under Ger
man pressure these supplies are now
partly diverted In Germany. The men
under arms and the wounded must be
supplied with condensed milk In large
quantities. The net result Of these
conditions, despite rigorous reduction
Of consumption among the adults of
the civil population In Europe, Is that
our allies are still short Of large guam,
titles and again the burden of the re-,
placement of this shortage must fall
on North America. The growing ex-I
ports Of dairy products from the United
States to the allies are shown In the
following table:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1917-11-16

Tho b,eb nr,ce NJ fodder and meat
IN Tho rrnitad statas during tbe mast
few months induced hv the nress,no
Erronoon demond has got nm danger,
ous currents IN th,s country asnec,al,v
,n tboso roo,ono denondent mon but.
tor and Tho sale ~ milf to mun,c,nal,.
nos having made n more nrof,tabIe
to soil tha cottlo FOR meot thop IN
toon thorn and nroduca dairy nroducts
Thnrosoro tho do,rv cottIo arc docreos 9.
,no n those aect,ons mo onlv SOC.
t,ons in witch dairy nrodpcts have had
a ,,sa In nr,ca In onnronr,ote nronor.
t,on 70 the ,ncreo co In cost of foods are
tho,a nroduc,no condensed MILF and
ohooso
s,nn,,.s Ar. n.crs.s,r,
orr boma m,lk and buttor .unn,,oS
oro thorefora decreasing while orr non
u,oaon /, ,noroos,n, Th,s doeo,annr
Of dairy hutter ia shown bv tbe soIes
30 morgor,ro which shows IN ,rcrooso
20 saveroI m,,,,on mounds nor month
ovor similar nerIods in 1o1s Do,rv
S,,ttor howorar bos Qualities u,h,on
nondnr a. ,,toIiv nooossorv Gov +ohlo
~
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
KNIFE BLADE IN MANS
 JAW FOR FIVE YEARS

ST. LOUIS, Mar. 2.-A jack knife blade, over two inches long, ar an inch wide was taken from the right jaw of Marion Chavis a Mexican, in St. Mary's hospital, East St, Louis. The surgeon who performed the orer- ation said the blade appeared to have been encysted in the jaw for five years. The patient has been unable to talk sufficiently to explain how i, came there.
 Chavis is a sheep butcher at the Swift packing house. Three weeks ago a roller fell and struck him 0. the jaw. A serious swelling resulted and an X-ray examination for what was at first supposed to be fracture of the bone, showed the presence of {. foreign substance.
 It now appears that the blade had been broken off in the mans chee@, and that protecting tissue was form : ed about it which rendered it Earlh- jess until the recent accident. This accident broke the end of the blade and caused a new inflammation which is now yielding to treatment
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
AMERICA'S PART IN WAR.

Would the United States, as an en- emy of Germany, be help or a hin- drance to the Allies? That is query that has occupied arm chair strate- gists ever since the war started, but 1t is looming to the fore now with a greater significance than ever, because 1t need no longer be considered an academic question. Opinions on the question, of course, are divided, and il would be impossible to answer it with inality.
 Dispatches from London said that the British public frankly rejoiced at the American governments action in breaking relations with Germany. The view was expressed in some aewspa- pers in allied countries, particularly in France, that Americas actual par ticipation in the war would measura- bly shorten it. German paper also are divided in their opinions, although the majority take. the view that we could not materially injure the cen tral powers for the reason that our money, our sympathy and our food supplies have been poured into En- gland, and Germany has been able to withstand the brunt, while the weight of our military and naval arm would be more than offset by the increased damage unrestricted submarine war fare will infiict upon England.
 Advices from Washington say that entente diplomats frankly hope the United States will stay out of war. They think Germany has deliberately provoked war with the United States in order to prevent munitions and foodstuffs from being shipped to the allies.
 That this view does not differ mate- rially from that held by the German leaders is a reasonable conclusion that is, it can be accepted as such if Germany's actions in the past few days can be taken as any criterion; and there is no indication whatever that Germany will modify her subma- rine program. The key to success, in the German eyes, is the starvation of England, and England can be starved only by the exclusion of food supplies from the United States, and apparent " her enmity would the quicker con- summate Germany's purpose, so She thinks.
 In the even of war it is not consid-
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
WARM WEATHER PREVAILS
 FROM COAST TO INFERIOR

The coldest weather reported ths morning from the stations between Valdez and Fairbanks was 15 above at McCallum. Fairbanks and Wort man each reported 25 above and Me Carty 26 above. Richardson report ed the highest temperature, 39 above and Salcha and Tonsina next with 34 above. The other stations report ed temperatures ranging from 2S to 32 above. The maximum local tem- perature during the past 12 hours, ending at o'clock this morning was 27, at which point the thermometer stood at that hour, and the minimum temperature was 23. The barometer is steadily declining.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

cred likely that an American army would be sent to France. It would take at least a year to equip and train an army for the trenches, and the question of transportation would be a difficult one in the event our ports
 were blockaded by submarines. Pos sibly too, the war would be over in that time; and it is also possible tha: the people would refuse to serve in an overseas campaign. The navy would be kept extremely busy il. guarding the sea lanes but that, ac- cording to unofficial expressions at Washington, probably is about as far as our military aid would go--unless. of course the war should be prolon.; ed for several years. In this event the United States with its immense would feel the pinch of hunger far quicker than the Entente Allies.
 The fact seems to be that we can infict comparatively little injury on Germany if we try, nor can Germany seriously menace us so long as the Allies control the seas, except to de- stroy our commerce. In any evert our pocketbook would be likely :o exercise a more potent influence iD the war than any other weapon we bave
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
ApDle Growers Meet

SEATTLE, Mar. Apple growers from Washington, Idaho and Oregon met here yesterday for two days session. Apples and other prob lems are the subjects of discussion. William F. Gwin, vice president and eeneral manager, and H. c. Fletcher, sales manager of the Northwestern Fruit Exchange; J. B. Adams. of Leavenworth, Wash, president of the Skookum Packers Association, and A. R. Rule, vice president and gen. eral manager of the North Ameri- can Fruit Exchange of New York, were among those that addressed the meeting today. Charles J. Brand. O.: Washington, D. C., chief of the office of markets and rural organization will deliver an address today.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
NORTH DAKOTA FARMERS.

The entire country is showing in- terest in the political experiment of North Dakota farmers which now is in the horny hands of the agricultu- ralists. The farmers movement in the general election last fall won a sweeping victory. A league of far mers, composed of 10000 men, nom,- mated candidates, and conducted a campaign on state-owned grain e!e- vators within the state and at rail- way terminals and similar issues of a class nature.
 The farmers nominee for goverao.' was elected by a vote of nearly five to one and the league captured every other elective office except one. It also elected three justices of the su- preme court, who favor state owned public utilities, as we'll as more than three-fourths of the membership Of the house of representatives. In .fc senate the farmers are outnumbere1 by three.
 The organization demands state ownership of flour mills, insurance against fire and hail. a state packing plant, rural credits and for the ex- emption of rural credits from taxa tion.
 The movement is directed by what is known as the non-partisan political league, which was organized two years ago as a protest against specu- lation on the board of trade and the alleged manipulation of the price cs grains. It soon became political factor and because North Dakota is essentially an agricultural state its membership was able to dominate tic situatio at the election of 1916.
 The league sustained severe de- feat a few days ago when it proposed a new constitution for the state coli taining radical provisions. The bill was defeated in the senate by small majority and as this proposal was the center of the legislative program the farmers nave been somewhat taken aback.
 There is a serious question whether g government controlled by one class of people-whethe farmers, lawyers. merchants or laboring men-can be to the best interests of a state; and that is why the North Dakota experi- ment is attracting general attention.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

Have you tried our Boston Nints in bulk at the Candy Kitchen. If
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
IS ASLEEP TWENTY-NINE
 MONTHS FROM SHE'LL SHOCK

PARIS, March 2.-Hatman, the French soldier who sustained she'll shock at the battle of the Marne and has since been in state of coma, has been sent from Perigueux to Paris to be examined by specialists. He was carried to the train on specially made wicker bed, and was accompanied by his wife, who was constantly with him in the hospital at Perigueux. During the last few days he has been seen to turn in his bed like an ordinary sleep CT, and when he has had enough of the liquid food which is given him he turns his head away, these being the only signs of consciousness he has given for twenty-nine months.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

A new stock of Al Fruit Tablets, Candy Kitchen. tf
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
TIDE TABLES FOR MARCH.
Compiled for Valdez Bay, by T.e Drncnnrfnr.

Compiled for Valdez Bay, by T.. Prospector:
 Friday, March 2- First high tide 7:02 a. m., 7.2 Second high tide 9:21 p. m., 5.3 First low tide 0:10 a. m., 3.7 Second low tide 2:47 p. m., 1.2
 Saturday, March g. First high tide S:26 a. m., 7.2 Second high tide 10:15 p. m., 5.S First low tide 2:07 a. m., 3.S Second low tide 2:49 p. m., O.9
 Sunday, March 4- First high tide 9:30 a. m., 7.5 Second high tide 10:52 p. m., 6.3 First low tide 3:29 a. m., 3.4 Second low tide 4:33 D. m., 0.5
 Monday, March 5- First High tide 10:1S a. m.. 7.9 Second high tide 11:21 p. m., 6.o First low tide 4:20 a. m., 2.S Second low tide 5:07 p. m., 0.S
 Tuesday, March G. First High Tide 10:59 a. m., S.2. Second High Tide 11:47 p. m., 73. First Low Tide 4:59 a. m., 2.1. Second Low Tide 5:35 p. m., 0.1.
 Wednesday, March 7-- First High Tide 11:36 a. m., S.4. First Low Tide 5:33 a. m., Is. Second Low Tide 6:00 p. m., 0.1.
 Thursday, March g. First High Tide O:09 a. m., 7.S. Second High Tide 12:O9 p. m., S.4. First Low Tide 6:O5 a. m., 10. Second Low Tide 6:24 p. m., O.1.
 Friday, March g. First High Tide O:34 a. m., S.1. Second High Tide 12:41 p. m., S.3. First Low Tide 6:36 a. m., 0.4. Second Low Tide 6:47 p. m., O.3.
 Saturday, March 10- First High Tide 0:5S a. m., S.5. Second High Tide 1:15 p. m., S.1. First Low Tide 7:0S a. m., 0.O. Second Low Tide TIP p. m., 0.5.
 Sunday, March H. First High Tide 1925 a. m., ST. Second High Tide 1:49 p. m., 7.7. First Low Tide 7:45 a. m., -0.2. Second Low Tide 7:39 p. m., 0.9.
 Monday, March 12- First High Tide 1850 a. m., S.S. Second High Tide 2:25 p. m., 7.2 First Low Tide S:16 a. m., -0.3. Second Low Tide S:07 p. m., IA.
 Tuesday, March 13- First High Tide, 2:19 a. h., S.9. Second High Tide 3:06 D. m., 6.5. First Low Tide S:56 a. m., --0.1. Second Low Tide S:3S p. m., 1.9.
 Wednesday, March IA First High Tide 2:54 a. m., S7. Second High Tide 3:55 p. m., 5.9. First Low Tide 9:44 a. m., O.1. Second Low Tide 9:16 p. m., 2.5.
 Thursday, March 15- First High Tide 3:37 a. m., S.5. Second High Tide 5:03 p. m.. 5. First Low T.;,e 10:42 a. m., 0.5. Second Low Tide 1O:05 D. m., 90.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
FRIDAY, MARCH 2, 1917
VALENTINE WEATHER.

VAIEN NIIN6 WE" tnEn. V VALENTINE weather! And keen through the chill of 1t W You can feel somehow the throb and the thrill of 1t,
 Just the blithe feeling that enters
 each sparrow head When sly Dan Cupid makes sharper his arrowhead That roguish rascal who seems to nonop- olize All of the love arts-among them improp- CT lies! Valentine weather! The snow's on the ground about; Rosy of cheek is the lad h, his "round- about;' Maidens go clad in their soft fluffy. furry things That were once worn by the growing or purry things. And see the postman. poor fellow. what will he do Bending his back with a burden of bilets- douE! Valentine weather. The old and the young again Write the same language and talk the same tongue again. And you and l, love, shall we not have pert in it. All the old rapture and all the old heart in it? Turn back lifes pages and join in the Joy again And just be happy-a girl and boy again!
 Life.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
For Rent.

Five-room house completely fLrn ished, Modern cOnveniences.
 2t ALASKA INV. co.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
CACHES SUPPLIES
 FOR GERMAN RAIDER

SAN DIEGO, March 2.-Accord- ing to various reports brought here indicate that a German vessel has been operating along the Mexican coast in the vicinity of Magdelena bay, and it is believed that it has Leen caching supplies for German raider
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

mediate divorce, "until my wife want ed to bring her other husband to live with us."
 Her other husband?" the judge in quired in an amazed tone.
 Yes, judge, her other husband, " said Palmer. We were married Janu- ary 22, 1917. We got along all right till one day she introduced me to another guy. This is my other hus- band,' she said smiling, and he is coming to live with us. Won't that be nice?"
 Palmer explained that he didn't know his wife had husband when he married her.
 The defendant in the action may be prosecuted for bigamy. it is said.
 Palmer will get his divorce.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

A. Ammon is shipping his horses to Cordovapn the Northwestern and will accompany them on that steamer, en route to the copper country, where he will spend the summer doing devcl- opment on his valuable copper prop critics.
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02
MEET MY OTHER HUBBY"
 SAYS WIFE TO SPOUSE

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio, Mar. 2.-C. D. Palmer has sworn off on matri- mony after two weeks of it.
 Ut was all right" he told the court when he appeared demanding an inn
Valdez daily prospector., 1917-03-02

SWEDEN has run so short in food supplies that she has passed decree prohibiting the peeling of potatoes and reduced her daily bread ration by half.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1917-08-29

sales mn TO IL a m. ........ 231 ,OC
sales nm to ~ noon.... 355. 7C
sales up to D. m.......... 4O2 &c
Sales up to p. m.......... 4S4,Su