New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-09-05
Make Game of
Benedict XIV

What is your name| Gompers
asked him.
Benedict"
What trade do you pursue|
81 am not a workingman. I am =
servant, holy servant"
"Then, as you are a servant, you
are presumably 3 member Of the
Walters Union?"
mo"
What, then, are you-a scab?"
The priest fixed upon him his keen
eyes and said quietly and simply:
81 am the Pope of Rome. I am the
representative of Jesus Christ on
this SHINING earth. Let His name be
blessed from now to eternity"
Are you, then, not Socialist"
Gompers Gained himself somewhat.
"Well, what had your holy Jesus in
structed you to do? Did he instruct
you to brsg about peace, to conduct
a German propaganda"
The priest lifted his eyes toward
heaven, and with an Enthusiastically
pious expression he said sharply and
clearly: BLESSED are the peacemak-
ers, for they will inherit the kingdom
Of heaven. There shall be peace on
earth and good will to man."
The presiding judge became furi-
Gus. "He is lucky-Jesus-thst He
was crucified some nineteen hundred
years ago. Should He make such
monkey business just now there
would be very little ceremony; He
would be hung on a ,ree, like his
comrade, the industrialist Frank
Little was. Does any enc wish to
question the defendant"
A Yankee, who is the editor Of the
love letters in a Jewish provincial
newspaper, stood up and raised his
tiny fingers, resembling little worms.
81 wish to ask the defendant few
questions he said. "Mr Benedict,
did you ever read the blasphemous
literature of the Peoples Council, to
which there belong such greenhorns
as David Starr Jordan, La Toilette,
Bishop Paul Johns, Professor Kirby,
Professor Dana and still other for
cigners?"
mo, | did not read IT," answered
the Pope truthfully.
Are you a delegate to the Inter
national Conference at Stockholm,
together with Camille Huysmans,
Thomas and the atheist, Henderson ?"
mo. God save US sinners from
that"
Did you hear what Elihu Root
said about the pacifsts?" asked the
loye-letter editor Of the Jewish news
paper. Did you hear what Root,
and not Christ, said?"
"Who is Elihu Root?" the Pope
asked.
"Eh, you don't know who Root is?
Then you do not know beans. Elihu
Root said that those who speak about
peace ought TO be hanged before sun
rise"
God forbid" whispered the saint.
The Yankee then addressed the
president: Your military excel
lence, this defendant is simply an
old fool. / am sure that he is i'm
picated in no conspiracy with the
Germans. He does not know even
where Wall Street grows. Why, he
does not even know Morris Hillquit.
He should be only scolded, scared
and thrown out"
What is your opinion, Mr.. Pig%
Gompers turned TO the potbellied
one.
81 think" the latter replied, that
the old man is Juggling. He ought 20
be searched 20 ascertain whether he
has not concealed somewhere around
his body red member card of the
Socialist party. Who knows where
the Socialists might creep in"
The two policemen on the chicken
legs led the old man away to be
searched.
Next" ordered Gompers.
There was escorted TO the chair an
elderly man, with serious and In
telligent face.
your name?" demanded the pre-
siding judge.
Robert La Toilette"
"Are you a Lithuanian or 9 Cali
cian?"
II am from Wisconsin
well. we'll! Now | understand.
You come from the land where leber-
wurst is growing in the winter gar
dens. What are you peddllng?"
The man with the serious face an
swered: IL am United States Sena-
tor. This is known 10 all, and that
YOU are clowns and comedians will
also soon be known"
A storm Of applause broke out in
the courtroom. The presiding judge
ordered that all visitors be expelled.
| felt as though some one was shaH.
ng me by the shoulders. | awoke, and
,aw a policemen. Hey, Johnny" he
lovled, This is not Pullman sleeper;
: is a park"