Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-10-05
DON'T MARRY OUT OF YOUR AGE
LIMIT.
BY DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman
Writer.

4 lad Of twenty is in love with a NO
II man of thirty. The lady is will
go ing. but holds back because she
doubts the wisdom of marrying a man
so much Younger than herself, and the
couple ask my advice in the matter.
With all the earnGstness Of which
am capable | entreat them not to COM
init matrimonial hari-kari as such a
union is bound to be. Not once in a
million times does marriage in
which the woman is ten years older
than the man turn out successfully.
Practically always 1t ends in misery
and regret for both parties.
There are many discrepancies be-
tween a couple that time and effort
may adjust so that what seemed an I'M
suitable marriage when it took place
turns out happily. The poor and hum
BILE man an aristocratic girl marries
may make money and raise himself in
the world The illiterate and uncOuth
girl cultivated man takes to wife
MAY educate herself and acquire so.
ciety manner. People of different ma
tionalities may learn to speak the
others language and adopt the others
habits and customs.
But instability in age between
man and woman is a difference that
time aggravates and that grows worse
and worse every year. And this is
particularly true when the woman is
the older, because women age faster
than men, and while affection may
nimbly skip across the bridge between
twenty and thirty and call it nothing,
only duty can halloo across the chasm
that separates woman's fifty from a
mans forty years.
A woman is always older than man
is at the same age. She is born older.
A girl baby cuts7her milk teeth before
boy baby cuts his. Also she cuts her
wisdom teeth sooner. ;jhe learns to
talk before he does, and she has made
up her mind whom she will marry
and what sort of wedding she will
have before boy has found out that
woman, as a sex, even exists. And
she keeps up this running start on age
that she has gotten in the cradle, so
that she is an old woman while he is
still mere youth.
These are stern facts of nature that
no rouge or straight fronts or dieting
or massaging or thinking young
thoughts or milliners, or dressmakers,
can change one iota, and it is what
makes every marriage of mature
woman with boy tragedy. And the
gall and bitterness of the tragedy are
chiefly the woman's, for it is easier to
bear being tired of an old wife than
for the old wife to know that her
young husband is wearied unto 'learh |
of her.
There are countless reasons why a
a boy of twenty should not marry a |
woman of thirty. The first reason is |
that a lad of that age is not fit to
marry any woman of any age. He has |
not come to himself He doesn't even |
know what he is going to be himself |
still less can he guess what sort of a |
wife he is going to need and want.
The woman that charms and thrills |
a boy of twenty bores him stiff when |
he is twenty-five and is an insupport |
able affliction when he is thirty. Mems |
tastes change in women just as much |
as they @ in food, and man is NO |
more allured at middle age by the |
feminine qualities that charmed him
in his salad days than his appetite is
piqued by the lollypops on which he
was wont to feast as a school boy.
Marriage is a mans sized job, son.
1t is not for babes and stockings. Wait
until your shoulders are strong enough |
to bear its load and your character
and habits are formed. Then you will
be able to bring Judgment and discre-
ton and experience Of women to the
task of selecting a wife who will real
ly suit you And she won't be ten
years older than you are. You can
gamble on that. You never see
man of thirty marrying a woman OF
forty unless she has large and SUBJ
stantial bank account.
Another reason why boy should
not marry a woman much older than
be is because they miss the only basis
on which matrimony can be made a
success, and that is having the same
point of view, thinking the same
thoughts Ind liking to do the same
hings. This is impossible when there
is much disparity in age.
The boy husband wants tie amuse-
ments. the frivolties. the fun that Ge-
longs by right to him in the play time
Of life. but the wife has arrived at
sober middle age when she Is tired,
and desires to let out her corset
strings, and cut down the heels of Il
her shoes and wash off the paint on
her face, and be comfortable. She may 1
force herself to drag along with ner
youthful spouse, but there's no pep Il
Or ginger in her forced pref ense of II
pleasure, and she is misery 20 her