The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1917-10-20

perhaps TO one or two, whose tested
love, honor and loyalty make doubt
seem Sacrilege. There are friends of
the mind, friends of the heart and
friends of the soul It is with the last
only that we have assurance and GER
tainty that open ears will ever be as
ISOLATED with closed lips. that any
message committed to them is stored
in the holy of holes of memory, where
speech can never reach it to reveal it.
In life, usually, the only absolute,
incOntestable insurance OF a secret is
to tell it to no one. If one does not
want a fact known it is wise not to
tell any part of il. Partial condolences
are dangerous, because in time the sep
arate pieces retained in the memory
of the listener may be carefully put
together, like the Irregular sections of
disSected map. Sometimes word.
suggestion, an inadYertent phrase,
meaningless in itself, vitalizes I'M
noted trifles of old memories, which
suddenly combine and stand out, vivid
and luminous in moment as u COM
plete revelation, such as the speaker
never intended to give There are
sometimes ordinations that are life
revelations in u word, autobiography
confessions in an unguarded phrase
Sometimes in the desire for sympa-
thy or advice, one is tempted to tell
home problem impersonally, or rather
in the third person, as the Iife-expe-
rience of some dear friend, with a
hazardous confidence in the safety Of
the alibi but the turning of a phrase,
4 sudden tension of emotion, a fever
iSh note of protest or plea may tend
to puncture the fraiI bubble of decep-
ton. The vicarious sympathy may be
Forthcoming, but it hardly pays for the
risk. The advice under such circum-
stances is valuelesS, because it is not
based on the absolute knowledge of
every detail requisite for true judg-
ment and counsel really beneficial to
| the one asking advice and help in
some individual crisis.
Circumstances, personality and char
acter are so interrelated that it is diff
ficuIt. impossible, indeed, for one hui
man being to give an opinion on the
merits OF Il question affecting two 9th
ers when he knows really little about
| them. Such advice might we'll be not
only worthless, but harmful. Far bet
ter is it to deny even this indulgence
to Oneself-for, after all, it is only an
| indulgence.
There is unwisdOm in talking too
| freely even of happiness in married
! life outside the home walls. 1t may
| give a new touch of pain TO one strug-
! Cling with serious heart problem and
unable to see a way out. 1t may be
| tax on the courtesy and patience of
| those who cannot be expected to feel
a deep personal interest in the
vaunted joys of another. Often in the
swift current of speech one may speak
! of some little domestic episode that
should be held too sacred for the ears
| of others. What may be sweet and
| dear, in the words and acts of either.
may seem but silly sentimentaIity
| translated by unsympathetic minds
and repeated with variations by wan
tOnly wagging tongues.
Should there be any drop in the
value of the home stock and one no
longer tells of the pearls of happiness,
| the very silence will be construed as a
confession and may bring a trail Of
humiliation or criticism and gossip. 1t
may entail lying and hypocrisy to sus-
tain the old record
True happiness rarely boasts; it ra-
! dates. If it really exists the little
world that cares at all, the few who
have real heart interest in the two, will
reach it in the eyes more truly than
| from the lips, more in the voice than
| in the words. 1t will glow and per-
| wade an atmosphere of sweetness,
! trust, peace and comradeship, mani
| Testing elf in a hundred little ways
| that tell the story without words as q
rose reveals its presence through its
| perfume, the sun the light and
warmth it radiates. True happiness
need not advertise; it has merely TO
! exist to make itself felt.
When the home problems assume
| the acute phase when confidence some
where seems compelling. then let hus-
band and wife confide more closely In
each other, realizing that their prob
/ lem must first be tried by this council
of two, if it is really to be solved at
| all. In the sweet, honest, full, frank
interchange of views, seeking, not the
| blame Of either, but the happiness of
| both letting no personal pettineSs or
false sense of momentary triumph
| eclipse the lookeG-fOr justice, and feel
! ing that, for the time, the great strug-
Cling, busy world outside is too micro
scopically small to be worthy of a
| thought, when weighed in the balance
OF their united happiness-their happi-
ness in union and unity-then, in such
a spirit, and only in such a one, great
| +hinrS hpPOu1o nOSSible.
1t is this spirit of the fnality Of the
| two, love recognizing no higher court
| of appeal in the world around them,
| that holds the ideal of married life so
high that it would seem the desecrat-
| ing hand of an outsider touching the
| ark of the covenant of their love even
to think of talking these matters over
outside the sacred walls of home.
Suggestions for Camp.