The Washington herald., 1917-07-18
HOW TO KEEP LOVE.
correspondent asks these ques-,as romantic
By DOROTHY DIX.
The world's HLghest Paid woman wrIter


A correspondent asks these aues-
tions:
why is love the most perishable
commodity In the world7 Why DO
husbands and wives so soon fall out
OF love with each otherg
when the average couple get mar
ried they are almost idiotically senti-
mental, yet in few years-often In a
few months-they seem to cease to
care for each other. They are bored.
Indifferent. antagonistic, fighting like
Kilkenny cats instead of billing and
cooling like turtle doves as they did on
the hinder side of the altar. Yet so
no reason for the change in the tenn
perature Of their affection. Both hus-
band and wife are just what they were
before marriage SO far as personal
charm goes; both are good, respect
able people anxious to do their duty.
What has killed their affection so
soon? And is there any known pre-
servative in which romantic love may
be canned SO that 1t will. keep fresh
and sweet after the honeymoon"
Certainly. dear correspondent. there
Is a way to keep love. Put II up in
incense. That is a guaranteed recipe
that never fails.
Would you keep the fires of affection
forever alight In the breast of husband
or wife? Feed the flames continually
with words Of devotion and adulation.
Would you have your own love last
as long as life itself? Be sure the
voice that murmurs words OF praise
and affection In your ears will thrill
you as long as you have sense to hear.
The trouble with most men and
women. when they realize that they
have won another's heart and have
been married for love. Is that they
are like foolish youth who has come
into a fortune. They think that the
wealth Of affection that has been be-
slowed upon them Is inexhaustible,
and they draw upon II and draw upon
II, and waste 1t with a prodigal hand
until by and by they suddenly dis
cover that 1t is all used up and gone,
and there Is no more love left.
It has not occurred to them in the
days of plenty to hoard their treasure,
much less to add to It. Yet II Is no
more necessary to lay up some money
for the proverbial rainy day Of ones
finances than 1t Is TO lay up love
against the rainy day of ones physi-
cal and mental needs-the days when
ones youth has waned, and one s
charm is lost, and one grows dull
and tedious in conversation.
Never was there a more mischiey-
Gus idea than that we all start out in
matrimony with a fixed capital of
love that cannot be subtracted from
or increased. In nothing can you SO
easily go broke as in affection, and
no stock can be more readily inflated
than Heart Preferred. In reality it
rests with each of US whether We bull
or bear our own particular love mar
ket, and whether We become million
aires or bankrupts in affection.
Cupid does business largely on
credit, and IL is no trick at all for
him to borrow enough romantic cspi-
tai TO start a young couple out in an
ngagement. 1t Is only after marriage
that the question Of how to make up
the deficit resulting from the wear
and tear Of everyday life and keep
the capital stock at par becomes a
vital matter.
The only way II can be done Is by
adding continually to the visible sup
ply of love in the firm, and the mar
vel is that so few people do this.
No one expects a bridal trousseau
to supply one with clothes for a life
time, or a wedding breakfast to suf-
fee for food for thirty or forty years,
but the great mass of mankind never
seem to dream that the VOWS of devo-
ton they made during the days Of
courtship are not enough to last to
the end of time. but need constant
daily renewal.
A man will tell a woman before he
is married to her that she is the most
beautiful. fascinating, intelligent crea-
ture on earth. and that he adores her
wildly, madly, frantically. And after
he is married TO her he never men
tions the subject of love again or ex-
presses the slightest admiration for
anything she does.
In reality he probably thinks just as
well of his wife as he did of his
sweetheart. Perhaps he admires her
more. for the sense of possession gen.
orally throws a halo around the thing
possessed, and a man is apt to esteem
his wife superior to other woman Just
because she is his wife, as he thinks
his gun, his dog. his automobile bet
ter than those belonging to anybody
else.
He may appreciate to the fullest
every bit of the fineness of her, and
be deeply grateful for the sacrifices
she makes for him, but he never
bothers to tell her so.
After a while. IL he is sensitive, he
begins to perceive that her love for
him has lost some of its freshness
and bloom. Later he discovers that
it is withered and faded and, may be,
dead, and he wonders at it, and rails
at the falseness of women. But he
never realizes that the fault is his,
and that he killed her beautiful affec-
ton by neglect. Love can no more
live without being fed on love and
watered by constant assurance OF ad-
miration and appreciation than rose
can bloom In an arid and rainless des-
eTt.
Nor do women cherish the affec-
tion they have won a whit more
wisely than men do. When the av-
erage woman returns from her
bridal tour she lays aside the harp
on which she sung her husbands s
virtues before marriage, and
smashes the vessel in which she
burned incense at his feet She
expects him to take her love on
faith, as he expects her to take
his. Then before long she begins
to cry out that love is dead, not
realizing that she has starved it
to death herself.
She may think her husband just