davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Luke McLuke SAYS:

It is strange how daintily a girl can
handle a cold in her head with a two
inch handkerchief when a man with a
cold in his head can't handle it with a
sheet
Once upon a time there was a man
who was so rich that he wouldn't ac-
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Our Joe Miller Contest.

l. D. claims that the oldest joke is the
one about the man who boarded YES
sci and approached an lrishman who
was on deck "My good man." said the
stranger, 'are you the mate Of this YES
SELF" No, your honor" replied the
Irshman. I'm the man that cooks the
mate"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

OF you remained at home last night long enough
to read the presidents message Time when preden-
al messages were read principally by painsakng proof
readers and intelligent composors but Mr. Wilson serves
at a time when there is something to talk about.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Is That So2
lIllc DOckcI J

The following suits were filed in the
circuit court of Jefferson county, Ken
lucky, on Thursday, March IA
Robert Shuck VS. Susie Shuck, di-
vorcc. Our friend Luke McLuke would
head this, "Oh, Shucks"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, what is the difference
between an optimist and a pessimist2
Paw-An oRimist is the man who is
selling mining stock and a pessimist IS
the man who bought it, my SON
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Gosh |

If some Of the other fellows will shove
over, we will find room for Ab Doman
of Washington, Pa, in the anatomical
museum in the Club.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Help

Ball Crank says it looks as though
the Hohenzolern dynasty is about TO
dynasty death,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Toa Girl on a Magazine Cover.

Darling you are growing bolder,
You VIII drive a man To drink;
In your wealth Of hair | notice
Purple threads among the pink
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Correct

In these four lines. I'd have you know,
I'm saying quite n heap.
Man wants little here below
Hut he wants that little cheap.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
You Know Him

He'll never make hit with me.
II you trust him you'll rue H.
lie knows just what 90 do, but hs
Does not know how 50 do IT,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
FooeYl

Has your husband gained any
strength since he joined that athletic
club?" asked Mrs Naybor.
"Oh, yes" replied Mrs Gabb "lt
is remarkable how strong his breath is
after he has spent an evening there
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Raus Nit Himl

There was fool guy named the Kaiser
who never got onto the suizer
The old u. s. A
Till there wes HI to pay
And now he Is Badder but walser,
W. H. u.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

Pennsylvania crude oil jumped 25 cents to high
record yesterday simply because Of scarcity of OIL If
that isn't enough to give oil in his hair, he's immune
from the greasy lure.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

Away, Put OFF Until Tomorrow III,
Mean Thing You Were Going to Dc
Today.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Our Daily Birthday Party

VUI UHI1J UIIVHu"J 1"y
Paul Painlcyc, late prime minister Of
France, born in Paris 81 years ago
today
Vice Admiral Sir John R Jellicoo,
chief OF staff of the British navy,
born 50 years ago today,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Lines Worth Remembering,

lie will always be a slave who does
not know how 10 live upon a little
Horace,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

You can't buy all the Red Gross seals hut be a goo,
port and bty your share and urge your ncghbor go
10 likewise.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

AS the abest aid to Mr.. Garfield fuel administrators u
mild winter and early spring hereby nominated.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
WHAT

We may be dumb.
hut please tell us, pray,
What has become
OF Chancellor Day?
Luke McLuko.
We may he dumb,
But tell W.. pray, a
what has become
OF william j?
Hastings (Neb) Tribune
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Oh. IoYl

Sarah Allgood lives on Divine street,
Columbia, s. C., and Cam B. Wright
has just been admitted to the First
Baptist church in that city,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
'CUKRM:EUKE
-.HS.C0LIJMN
@eyri9bf I@7
The Reason.

A happy man Ia Henry Hontn,
And he's contented, too, YOU bet;
And all because he never wants
The things he knows he cannot get.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
A Real Bird Man.

NIugh Sparrow Of Nashville, Tenn
has enlisted in the aviation corps and
will do some flying for Uncle Sam.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

Recent additions to the social as we'll
as to the business life of the city arc
Mr.. and Mrs, A. NJ. Goldstandt, their
daughter, Miss Edna, and their sons,
Messrs. Fred and Guy. OF the latter
Mr.. Fred Goldstandt is business man
and Guy a high school student Mrs.
Goldstandt is sister of Mrs. Harry
Gerson.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

Sampey who runs a restaurant Just
south of the postofiice, has gone back
y his first love and is now charging
% cents for his popular meals.
Yesterday the Lillian Russell fast
train between Shawnee and Tecumseh,
gave out two miles from Tecumseh and
a number of leading legal lights Of Ok
lahoma City were forced to tramp into
the Potts county seat.
Robert Peyton returned today from
Gainesville, Texas.
An amseur dramatic company COM
posed OF the members OF the military
service at Fort Sill aud their families,
is touring western Oklahoma.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Fifteen Years Ago.

Prof ] NJ Brownlee returned yester-
day from a lecture tour through Ar
kansas.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

You probably know they call the Germans Huns because
they act that way and not abbreviated form Of honey
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Ten Years AGO.

The many friends of Mr.. and Mrs. W.
{. Burke are rejoicing with them over
the arrival of a pretty baby girl at
their residence on North Shartfl ave
nue.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05

Copyright, 1917 by Il. c. Fisher, Trad.
Mark REGISTERED U. 8. Patent of'ics)
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
DR.. Ryan was in Lawton yesterday.

With plenty of material on hand, the
paving on Grand avenue is being
pushed
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
Names Is Name,
Our Daily Special.

!. Fryatt lives in Burnsyille, W. Va
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-05
SiDHlGHTS0NWARM0VES

ATURALLY surprised and shocked
being the French German
pose French do tbs unless be to show their savagery
kindly good
The French have mad Look Whist they did night
Dropped bombs Dotmund
Dropped Feurbach
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
EQNffXIz0NSo David
THE AMERICAN BEAUTY ROSE

After had kissed him lightly made the old quotation about
else apply the less ourselves
a a into s @ % 5 as
to that writing Mage what would be their reaction
hardly the rsdsa
But demonstrated you don't know what is coming to
s r. ,s
to that he is looking trouble going
every woman what this man
ee p w ss We" as pr that
one down earth with bang Il want what friend found
Well let see,where II oh here it The
IA listening yspia
down backbone Someone walking
7 turned little in chair and the
Ss0 affected me as no other had ever
very which curIed
:. wliss friend sapsd
ed crush against
soitne We said only the things that
fmy pre1t and finally asked her she knew whore
of not asked about her-1
merely said she was beautiful woman At last got down the
4 the phone surprised to hear
which was not very well Known '0 Tea at little place
hardly brains At the end
an hour she bored almost to extinction But the
rsnsnDsI the play a Fool There Robert
sas s sss
y n r as Of m the Was but now
less 50 far as she did mot have any smps ideas motives
Marsie confess was fast and furious for the vo
weeks when the in my heart -
M ALLOWING ny ssssS v %
s g ,a IND sss az. said . m call
to with me or NEE me somewhere
And then the woman really loved came back looked into
day night past
tro
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
Ally or Enemy?

We make life easy by our habits, or we make
it hard
Our nervous system grows to the modes in
which it is exercised" is the scientific explana-
ton of habit.
Some of us exercise our nervous system to our
advantage For example, we have good habits
of putting on our clothes neatly, quickly, and
without thought. And some of us have bad
habits of temper, or Of worrying, or over-eating.
We seldom recognize the power of any habit
until it is formed. But they are none the less
binding because we have not intended to make
them. -
What the new soldier in training suffers from
most is not the change in his food and collars,
but the making over of the habits of his body
to suit his new profession The walking habits
of the civilian are often bad and it takes months
of training to replace them with the easy march
ing habit of the regular army man.
Many human habits are being made over by
the war, and there is no reason why the soldier
boy should receive all Of the discipline and bene-
fit
Once in while it is good plan for all of us
to take stock of our peculiar assortment of
habits--and then to treat them as allies-or as
enemies. -.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
Mayor off WRONG

The Times wishes decided exception Mayor Fawcett
opposition the 1913 city budget
cause the time for him to tic BEFORE it adopted rather
after During the hearings and at the final council
levy agreed he appeared aquice what the other
councmen did His opposition to what he calls grab gme and
s. mad scramble" has developed
But protest the against levy in the
increased budget this stands for municipal
the mayors opposition the
cursed Tacoma at times in the
For what is the etxra be spntf
employees for thing Can worker the justice
the city has owedf place. larger police
departments both necessities the
ancient debt that was sadded on the ciys shoulders
The Times for low of We all But The
Tor seeing Tacoma ahead also and there
that
all that the momentum maintained that
We must have those policemen and
thus obtain promised reduction
debts We must city employees wages
nicipally
Some of the mayors critics intimate that his
has political motive They he going to for
spring and that this blast is campaign material
that true the must have political cunning for the
people OF Tacoma not 5mls
push back the old dead Tacoma They all be for the
@ IL mills must be to keep the city hitting
II the mayor going to for reelection suggest
platform the New Big Busy Tacoma platform the
lamented
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
ASTHMA SUFFERER

WRITE TODAY and will tell
you of the simple home treat
ment for asthma and bronchitis
which has cured many after
physicians and change of climate
failed. want you to try IL II
my expense. Drop me a card and
I'll mail you a 25c sample bottle
FREE. Geo. ]. Thomassen, Box
A-22o, Des Moines, Iowa.
Mill and logging camp owners
in eastern Oregon believe they
will have to employ women for
lighter work next spring.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19

Charles Il. Chamberlain, divis-
lon commander of the Sons of Vet
Grams for the Northwest, will hold
an organization meeting in the
Armory Friday evening, and will
install the officers Of the new Ia
coma camp.
The engagement of Miss LILLIAN
Streeter, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs.
Lewis Streeter, to Otto Voll OF
Seattle, has been announced.
Marriage licenses were issued
Thursday to Jesse w. Staten OF
Taylorville, ILL.,, and Emma o.
Wheelock Of Pana, H.; George
Bloncher Of Tacoma and Louise
Chamberlain OF Payette, idaho
Angelo Makrist and Minnie Bow
ers, Tacoma; Max Setback and
Agnes Knapp, Tacoma.
A dance will be given Saturday
evening in Spanaway by the Span
away Athletic club. Supper will
be served and good music furn-
ished. Saturday, Nov. 8, a ban
quet win be given for all playerz
who helped put Spanaday on the
baseball map this year.
Booster degree, American Yeo-
men, Will give . card party and
dance at Eagles hall Saturday
evening. Card playing will begin
at $3.50 and dancing at 1890.
Mrs. Grace Peterson. assisted BY
hesdames Atwood. Kincaid, By
ron and Mr.. Homer Pratt. will en-
tertain-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
JOC10fU

Dinner dances for members and
Camp Lewis officers will be given
every "wednesday night at the
Commercial club, as well as every
Saturday night hereafter. The
club has engaged 8. L. Spencer,
Formerly of the Washington hotel,
SEATTLE. and the Waldorf-Astoria,
View York, as superintendent of
he dining room. Arrangements
have been made by which wives of
members may do private entertain
ms IN the club rooms at short mo-
dee.
Maj. Gen. H. A. Greene was the
Drincipal speaker at the meeting of
10 Presidents council at the
Woman's clubhouse Thursday.
Don't think OF the army as q
oullection of ribald and licentious
ne5diers." said Maj. Gen. Greene.
They are your brothers, your
&usbands and your sons
Mrs. Edwin Sumner MeGill, or
Enpixer at large for the War
n1ofhers' league, outlined the plan
~ provide each motherless boy at
- front with a''war mother" to
VFfite to him and take thought for
~ comfort. Mrs. o. G. Ellis
Doke for the Liberty bond cam
@lxn. and Ray F. Carter. of the
16ofning camp committee, gave q
1lef talk.
ne auxiliary Of the. state
1rd. Company F. will entertain
& cards 1t Troop B headquarters
the Armory. Saturday evening.
fqoehments will be served.
&gl.g viii begin It . o'clock.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19
Cynthia
Grey's
Answers

Dear Miss Grey: am a young
married man much discouraged
by my wife's lack of co-opera-
ton. I encountered q misfor-
tune In business, thru ignor-
ance OF what a man has to go up
against. Since then / have
worked at my trade a. machin-
list, tho fitted by education for
another life. This does not
bother me. am willing to
earn my living in an honorable
way. But my wife II naughty
and insolent over this. have
found that the letters she sent
me during our courtship were
written for her by another per-
son and that she has no educa-
ton. Is this the reason she has
so little sympathy? She il fine
looking and has pleasant man
ners when she chooses to be
pleasant. We have q dear lit
tie boy three years old. I want
to do right by both Of them.
What would you advise me to
do In such Q case. I have wor-
ried and thought about 1t until
all Is dark before me.
DISHEARTENED.
A.-Both you and your wife arr
in the wrong. You have blamed
her for her lack Of education and
she has retaliated by beink unkind
to you. The situation has con.
tinualIy grown worse.
You must get back to funda'
ncntals--tO that love and mutual
helpfulness which Is tho only basis
of happiness. You have everything
with which to build happy home
ON this foundation. You have the
little child, q good trade, ability
good looks and good health.
Talk this over with your vito
frankly and kindly. Ask her tc
forget the past and It's differences
and seek with you tho happiness
of mutual love and kindness.
Dear Mis- Grey: Democracy's
first fundamental law is:
GREATEST GOOD TO ALL-in
its last translation. Now how
are we to hold democracy dear
and develop its divine direction.
and breathe and breed this will
full HATE we meet everywhere?
For every thought of HATE we
entertain even toward cruel
royalty's rulers and the rich, we
will have to pay interest COM
pounded in human sorrow, until
we learn higher law of being.
Water and oil mixed are neither
fit to drink nor burn. Democ-
racy and HATE mixed are
neither pure nor possible. And
the greatest failures OF all wars,
as in religions, has been In their
HATE, petty prejudices and bit
ing bigotry bred within the
hearts of little children. It Is
wars most sorrowful feature
worse than all the carnage and
Gripping of life and limb. It
will take generations of LOVE
and UNDERSTANDING to Grad
icate. L. r. B.,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19

Charles J. Sturgis of North
Puyallup hurt when auto goes
into ditch on mountain road.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19

OF rich Silk Velvet trimmed
with tailor bows Of grosgrain
ribbon, fancy feathers and Or
naments in colors Of Navy,
Taupe, Green, Plum, Red,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19

Member of the Bofipps
Northwest League of News
papers. the Newspaper I'm
terpriss Assooiatione and the
United Press Associations.
Entered at the postoffics. Ia
coma. WASH, ~ second GLASS
matter. Published by the
Tacoma Times Publishing Co.
every evening except Sunday.
Rates-By nail. 30 cents Q
month; SO q year: by carrier
In city, 26 cents Q month.
Telephone, all departments,
Main IL. OFFICES, Times
Building S1s Pacific avenue
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1917-10-19

The engagement of Miss LILLIAN
Streeter, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs.
Lewis Streeter, to Otto voll OF
Seattle, has been announced.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30
JUST LEAVE US ALONE.

In speaking of conditions in Idaho
from an industrial standpoint and to
what extent they have been affected
by recent session of the legislature, a
large employer OF labor says: 1.-THE
outlook for development is favorable
AS the passage of freak Legislation
Gripping to industries has been dis
couraged and the general sentiment
seems to be favorable to encouraging
the man who is maintaining a payroll
and furnishing employment. What
we need, so far as legislation is con-
cerned, is to be let alone.
Idaho has wonderful future before
it in developing its mineral and agri-
cultural resources, its waterpowers
and railroads.
Hold down taxes, assure the in.
weston and the laboring man square
deal, eliminate radical legislation,
and nothing can stop its rapid devel
opement.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30
AT LAST.

For three years the Orohno Tribune
has insisted that the Clearwater Re-
publican is controlled by the timber
companies, and is run in the interest
of timber companies. Now our dear
brother editor comes out and accuses
us of giving the timber people the
double-cross. Having tied the Repub-
lican to George Rubadew's coat tail,
and branded us with timber corpora
tion brand, it is, to say the least, a
mean trick for the Republican to re-
fuse to live up to the reputation
given it by Brother Crow. The tim
Der companies were satisfied with that
Nease cruise. They did not want the
deal exposed. They did not want the
facts in that Swinton deal with Jim
and Pat Blake and Blair Hoar ex.
posed. They did not want that John
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30

The country is unit for resis-
lance against German impudence and
aggression. We have rights that
Germany will respect at whatever
cost. We have rights on the high
seas. We are going to maintain
those rights, and fight for them if
need be. Here is the situation
Because Germany is fghtirg, Ger
many says: Il automatically take
unto myself all right to the high seas,
and the United States cannot have
free access. The United States will
sail it's ships only where | permit,
and sell and trade with only such
nations as Germany sees fit to allow.
Germany will murder American cit
liens who dare to ignore German con-
troll of the worlds trade, or who even
dare to travel in neutral ships on the
seas on any kind of business.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30

Molloy exposure printed. But the
Republican went ght ahead doing
what it believed it's duty, standing
by the people, regardless of conse-
quences, and long before the present
fight for Highway came up demon
strated to any unprecedented person
that the Clearwater Republican has
no connection whatever with the tim
Der interests. We are absolutely free
to follow the dictates of our own con-
science, and take orders from none
but our own desires, prompted by an
honest and fearless purpose to serve
the citizens of Clearwater county.
The Tribune pays us the compli-
ment of confessing that the interests
of the people are being ably defended
by the Republican.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30
THREATS TO RESIST LAWS.

The threat of revolution to over
throw our government comes with poor
grace from labor agitors who are al
ways seeking new laws for the inn
provement of the laboring masses.
1t shows that these leaders do not
at bottom believe in a government Of
law and order as our country is based
upon, but really advocate the methods
of the l. w. w. terrorism.
At a joint assembly of the Col.
orado legislature to consider the In
dustrial Relations act. Grant Ham
ilton as legislative agent of the
American Federation of Labor said :
~ represent the crystalized senti
ment of the American workers on thi
law and say they will resist it t.
the uttermost. We are inspired b,
the same spirit of revolt that moveC
our revolutionary forefathers. If thi
law is not repealed we will have re
course to the same power. We hav,
the courage to revolt and will not b'
found wanting
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30
Spring House Cleaning Time.

Let us send you one of our Vacuum
Cleaners and attachments for this
job. 1t will do your rug cleaning
also picture and moulding cleaning
without half the effort you usually
put forth for this work. Better still,
with one of these cleaners you can
have your spring house cleaning come
every week and keep your house free
from dust as you can do the work
quickly and easily with a VACUUM
CLEANER.
Grangeville Electric Light & Power
Company
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30
A tender hearted Hilliard

A tender hearted Hilliard woman,
writing to the Spokesman Review,
protests against boys killing squirrels.
She thinks it will tend to make them
bloodthirsty and make for war. And
for the same reason. I'VE protest against
the killing of bedbugs. 1t may tend
to make woman cruel, bloodthirsty
and warlike, and should be stopped.
Let the bugs multiply, and may this
good woman contribute her blood to
feed the bugs. We should not only
stop discriminating squirrels, that
destroy our crops, but encourage them,
breed them, and protest them, and
after few years they would require
all and more than the country can pro
duce to feed them. Then we should
move out and let the squirrels have
the country.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-03-30

1t is gratifying to find Socialists
all over the United States rallying to
the support of the government, and de-
nouncing the l. w. w. element who
are fighting the government and op-
posing every effort to prepare for the
impending war with Germany. The
Republican has always felt that real
Socialists were loyal to the country,
and while they were laboring for GER
tain reforms, would defend the nation
in time of impending disaster. Many
world renowned Socialists of the
United States have recently declared
their approval of the course President
Wilson is pursuing, and announce
their loyalty to their country.