davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1917-04-04

Notc let US haze compulsory uHiver-
sal militorH service, oivin0 an equal
burden, an equal responsibility, dH
equal opportunity to all men in Amer
icd, asin0 all Of Us as zoe are needed
trithoTt discrimination bettoeeH poor
and rich, IN accordance t0ith our ei-
fectiueness and our possibilities.
You are too serious" writes an In
constant Reader who Is plumb dis
gusted with us. Where has the old
genial Don Marquis gone? You should
keep off the war;
Where has the old genial world gone?
1t has become too serious. 1t should
have kept of the war.
The kaiser's cession Of certain Amer
lean territory to Mexico becomes
more and more interesting. The feel
ing is growing stronger that it may
be trifie difficult for Mexico to fore
close on the mortgage.
The Washington times., 1917-04-04

Take up Lounge Lizard" "Parlor
etc. and work up A Social
Menagerie.-A is the AUX OF the ball
room whose unfortunate feet play him
false: they were awkward from birth
and they stutter when the music re-
quests him to waltz.-Preface to a
Dream Book: show psychological proc
esses by which dreams actually do
come true.
The Washington times., 1917-04-04
Here's the Materials You Can Do
the Rest Yourself.

We have a rott, memory. So
when We get a hunch for something
to do for the column we write IL
down on a slip OF paper that we may
remember to do II tomorrow. We have
a rotten memory. We can never re-
member where we have put those
sheets of paper. But cleaning up our
desk today a lot OF them sifted out of
the debris. We made a thorough
search and found a whole scuttleful
of such notes
The Washington times., 1917-04-04

Try and remember to read Louis
Untermeyer's book OF verse and slam
It; he slammed mine-Why the devil
do people who say they like my work
not give me more time to do 1t in?-
Work gag out of Automat lunch
room: Automat OF the Breakfast
Table?-Could there be a wen on a
head of cabbage?
The Washington times., 1917-04-04

We wonder II We could get away
with it (just for this once) II we just
printed a bunch of the notes and left
it to you to work up a column out of
them? There are several columns
here II any one has the ambition to
go to II and get them into shape. Am
bition is what We lack today. 1t IL
splendid weather for a war, but no
sort of a day for work. Anyhow,
here are the notes; here are the
wheels that go round. Here Is a lot
of dope in a condition Of arrested
deyelOpment
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

the integrity of the former admins
trations. involving the good names Of
hundreds of the best citizens of the
state, and the sooner the investiga-
ton is completed the better it will
be for all concerned.
This is no time for mock heroics.
1t strikes us that the governor show
ed poor taste Ia hurting the thun-
derbolt on the occasion of Lincoln
day celebration. If he Is as positive
in his convictions that there is a
niger in the woodpile somewhere,
as his reiterated assertions would
lead one to believe, then he should
have made his suspicious the sub
ject of a special message to the legis-
lature. Matters of this character are
OF such vital public concern that they
should be handled in the most deli
cate and dignified manner possible.
or course, the entire community is
specializing upon the probable out
come of the investigation. The gov
ernor insists that he has the goods
in his possession, and as a rule he
knows what he is talking about. And
still, in company with a great ma
jority Of the citizens. we are not pre-
pared to believe as yet that he is
going to disclose any s2,500,000
graft. Neither do we believe that an
inspection of the records Of the state
department and institutions will un-
cover anything OF criminal conse-
quence on the part Of former state
officials.
What then, can the governor be
driving at? The probabilities are
that he has in mind two things.
First. the recovery OF certain coal
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

Somebody got excited the other
day. when it was reported that the
lower house had adopted new cal
endar system, and got the idea that
the action taken applied to the Gre
gorian calendar. Although it was =
false alarm, the fellows state OF
mind was not at all surprising.
There are individuals in that body
who would not hesitate a minute in
an attempt to revise the universally
, accepted scientific method of meas
uring the course Of time and desig-
mating the periods of the seasons;
that is, IL they happened to have ten
spare minutes at their disposal.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24
(From Goodwin's Weekly }

NfrOm GOOuWln Neekly.)
1t is just the same old story-blg
talk and little deeds. This legisla-
.ture is in no sense whatever an i'm
provement on the others. In point
of .rudimentary craftsmanship, it
does not even measure up to the av-
erage town council of the COW coun-
ties, 1t has done nothing to date
but waste words, time and the tax
payers money. And its chief and
only claim to distinction is based on
the fact that 1t has promised more,
talked louder and longer, and done
less than any other legislature since
statehood.
This state OF affairs at the capt.
toll is a genuine disappointment to
all good citizens, and extremely diff
ficult to understand. Much was eX-
pected of the present Legislature,
for much had been promised. The
people had grown weary OF the old
Republican legislatures because. per-
haps, they were entirely too conserv-
alive in their promises, and too tame
to be trustworthy. And so II was
decided that we must have a change.
Hence II was not strange that the
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

of several tail feathers, and the prob
abilities are that by the end of the
session he will have learned that the
peacock is not the only bird who has
a right to sit on the roost. SenatoY
Armstrong; shot at him, to the el.-.
feet that lit is the business of the
senate to pass a practicable public
utilities measure, and not to regulate
the EARTH" was masterpiece in
satire. Also, it had direct appli-
cation.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24
GIVE SYRUP OF FIGS"
TO CONsTIPATED CHILD
Delicious "Fruit Laxative" can't harm
tender little Stomach, liver y
and bowels.

Look at the tongue, mother! II
coated, your little ones stomach, liver
and bowels need cleansing at once.
When peevish, cross, listless, doesn't
sleep, cat or act naturally, or is fever
ish, stomach sour, breath bad; mas
sore throat, diarrhma, full OF cold give
a teaspoonful OF California Syrup Oh
Figs" and in a few hours all the loulI
constipated waste, undlgested fooaI
and sour bile gently moves out OF il'
little bowels without gripinS, aud you
have a well, playful child again ASH
your druggist for a 50-cent bottle q
California Syrup OF Figs" which con'l
talns full directions for babies, chp
dren OF all ages and for groWn'ups'
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24
The Best Recommendation.

The strongest recommendation
any article may receive is favor
able word from the user. 1t is the
recommendations Of those who have
used 1t that makes Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy so popular. Mrs.
Amanda Gierhart. Waynesfield, Ohio,
writes, chamberlain Cough Rem
edy has been used in my family Off
and on for twenty years and 1t has
never failed to cure a cough or
cold" Obtainable everywhere.
ADV.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24
A WASTE OF WORDS, TINE AND TALK

Democrats gained control of the law
making branch of the state govern
ment, for their platform promised
a thorough renovation of everything
under the sun. And to make doubly
sure that nothing would handicap
the new legislature, the people quite
properly made it all OF one political
complexion.
So much for the people. They
knew exactly what they wanted and
how to get It. So far as they were
concerned, the new order of things
was instituted at the polls in Novem .
Der. and II was simply n matter OF
counting the days until her chosen
representatives could assemble and
officially confirm their act. But the
Democratic leaders exercised more
foresight, for they had been in the
game long enough to learn that there
is many a slip twiXt the cup and lip.
They realized that they would have
an inexperienced collection OF law
makers on their hands. men who
might easily be hoodwinked into for
getting their promises and doing
something detrimental to the public
interest. Therefore. in the interest
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24
DO YOU WANT CASH

For your farm or other pro.
perty? If so, write to Far
mers s. Traders Bureau,
C7f3, jamestown, n. Y
adv. $50.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

head and permit him to, guide him
self. 1t may be too, that Uncle Joe
Cannon was right when he said that
thereGwas such thing as a law
making body being too ID
unanimous" to amount to anything.
The career of the prohibition bill
clearly illustrates the character and
competence of the Legislators. Here
was a measure that was made the
pet of the session. 1t was drafted
by parties having no official connec-
ton with the legislature. 1t was the
first measure introduced in the
house. All other matters were made
of secondary Importance until that
was off their hands. The plan was
to pass 1t Immediately in its original
form. And still, 1t took five weeks
to get the bill to the governor, and
during this time the lower house b.
particularly unanimous action re-
versed itself again and again.
| Then when the bill had reached
the governor, and 1t was found that
1t was weak in its definition of the
very object of its aims, the house re-
fused to stiffen the measure to the
point where it would preclude all
possible litigation. But this body
did, however, monkey with the meas
ure long enough to reopen 1t for
general consideration, and forwarded
it again to the governor without put
ting 1t upon roll call and final pass
age, as the constitution and the law
require. All this happened, notwith-
standing the fact that the house has
a legislative expert to guard against
just such blunders as this.
The mistake was not discovered
until the bill had been signed and
deposited with the secretary of state.
Then the question was raised as to
the constitutionality of the act, and
it was proposed to either re-enact
the original measure or pass a new
one in its stead But the wise heads
held confab, and after due deliber-
alton decided that instead OF going to
all this trouble they would simply
| IrA
appear that the bill never was re-
turned to the house or opened for
discussion. Great It was certainly
an original scheme, and no one but
a Democratic lawmaker would have
had such a fancy idea. or the pre-
sumption to put 1t into effect.
1t may stick. We hope it does.
but the point is that this is the stripe
OF the statesmen who are making
laws for the great state of Utah.
II Is good that the legislature lost
no time in appropriating the $685.
600 which Governor Bamberger de-
sired for the purpose of inquiring in
TO the alleged mismanagement of the
states affairs. OF course, If the gov
ernor succeeds in recovering 500
for every dollar expended in the en-
terprise. II will be q profitable ven
ture.
But the people OF the state are
more anxious to learn the true state
OF affairs than they are to realize
upon such handsome investment
Besides, the governor has challenged
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

OF all concerned, they forthwith ap-
propriated to themselves the law
making prerogatives of the legisla-
tors-elect, and proceeded to draft the
proposed measures and to organize
the legislature in advance.
The result was that when the real
legislators came to town they found
all the preliminaries of the session
dispensed with, and the track cleared
for a flying start. 1t surely looked
as though the people at last were
going to get real run for their
money. Then what happened? The
legislators met and took an inventory
of the tremendous amount of import
ant work before them. This done,
they then took stock of their own
inexperience and decided to employ
Legislative experts to expedite the
work of the session. Thus, with
their program formulated, their Off
Cldl lltdSu lto DItpdl Gu LOT lulTOduC-
ton, expert counsel at hand to steer
them clear of technical shoals, the
steering committee ever present to
lend assistance, the lobbyists barred
out, and the legislators all of the
same political belief, it surely seemed
that the legislature would break all
records.
They did. The record has been
already cited. The moral permits Of
several deductions. 1t may be that
you can surround legislators with so
many safeguards as to check all ac-
ton. All men admire the high
stepping horse, but you can checl:
his head so high that he loses con-
fidence in himself and plumbers in
his steps. Because of this trait, old
horsemen prefer to give a horse his
head and permit him to, guide him
self. 1t may be too, that Uncle Joe
Cannon was right when he said that
thereGwas such thing as a law
making body being too Id
unanimous" to amount to anything.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

lands; but this is no new discovery.
The former state administration was
fully cognizant of this mistake 1--WE
use word mastake advisedly), and did
everything in its power to reclaim
these tracts. And secondly: 1t may
be that the governor proposes to ex-
pend the $4,000 in experimenting
along the lines of greater efficiency
in the administration of the states
affairs; with the hope that eventu-
ally. in the saving effected, this in
vestment will be multiplied a hun
dred-fold.
If this Is the idea, then we need
only say that this is likewise a sec
ondhand proposition. We have
known former state officials who
have made a study of this plan for
years, and who have openly advo-
Gated that steps be taken in this di-
rection. In fact, had Governor Bam-
berger's opponents been elected, he
would have been pledged to the ere
alton of an efficiency commission,
with just this identical thing in view.
But as we said before. this is no
time to indulge ID mock heroics, or
to spill bad blood, or to make foot
ball of mems regulations. The ex-
ecutive Is insistent that something
be done, and the former state Off
Gals are willing to entertain the most
searching inquiry into their admins
trations. Moreover, many of them
have volunteered every assistance
possible. So let the investigation
proceed.
We have been of the opinion all
the time that Senator Olson bit off
more than he could chew when he
undertook to bull his pet public utili-
ties bill through without permitting
it to be substantially amended He
made his bluff stick in committee,
but the hill struck snag on the
floor of the senate. At the present
writing Olson's fellow legislators are
occupying themselves in pulling out
it's tail feathers, and it will be q
mighty tame bird before it gets out
OF their reach.
All of which is as 1t should be
Had Olson been able to put his so
clalistic scheme across, industry II
in Utah would come to a standstill
II was the most drastic piece of leg
islation proposed in the history o.
the state, but by the time the gov
ernor and the conservative elemen
in the legislature get through toninl
1t down, it will look, as some sale
the other day: more like a gentle
man than a bandit"
The fight over the bill ought t.
prove to be liberal education TO
its arrogant author. He. too. lk,
his measure, has suffered the los
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1917-02-24

Call at this office and get big
bundle Of old newspapers for nickel
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-09-19
HOW ABOUT DAD?
BY Berton BraIev

There's been a lot written about
the brave mothers who are giving
their sons to war. And no one will
quarrel with, the words of praise ut
tered in their behalf. 1t Is Impossible
to overestimate the sacrifice they
make in the service of their country.
But I want to speak about the IA
theirs.
A boys babyhood and youth belong
very largely to his mother. His ia
Their and he may be the best of pals,
but because the father is at his work
all day, while the mother is at home,
there cannot be the same intimacy.
1t Is not until the boy verges on
manhood, till he reaches that time in
his life when he is ready to play the
game with men, hat father and son
find themselves in a closer relation
ship. Then Dad discovers that the
kid" talks his language, and the
kid" learns that Dad is not only Dad
but a bully good companion and
friend who understands his point of
view as no mother, however loving,
can hope to understand.
This is the time when the father
and son plan together on the boys
immediate and mor distant future,
when they have long smoke-talks and
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-09-19
A CHANCE IN NAME, NOT IN SPIRIT

The meeting of "producers and consumers, at st.
Paul is not a meeting Of protest; so we are told. Mr..
Townley says SO, and as 1t Is his meeting he ought to
know. The purpose Of the meeting has been changed
in name. When the meeting was first announced, and
when with it was announced the Fargo meeting which
has just been held, the Fargo daily organ Of the Nom
partisan League gave notice that the purpose of the two
gatherings was to protest against the action of the food
administration in fixing the price of wheat at 1920. It
that an effort would be made through the influence Of the
protests at these meetings. to have the subject reopened.
Mr.. Townley tells us now that this is not a meeting
of protest at all. There has. therefore, been a change in
the meantime. But the change has been in the title Of
the meeting, and not in it's spirit or the purpose for which
it is called. The fact seems to be that the men who have
been talking disloyalty quite openly have come to the
conclusion that that Is not good policy. The federal gov
eminent has shown such signs of activity that there is
good prospect that the repetition Of some of the express
sions used publicly a few weeks ago would now land the
speakers in jail. And there are a good many thousand
families in the northwest whose sons are going to the
front. Parents and friends Of these young men do not
relish the idea of a campaign whose chief effect must
be to make the chances of the return Of these men more
remote than they would otherwise be. Hence. in the
language Of the street, 1t has been decided to put the
soft pedal on the disloyalty stuff.
We are therefore being given a series Of meetings
whose purpose is to assist tho government" to help it
posed, Of course, to take the curse off. And the title
having been changed, the contents remain as before. 1t
is just as impossible for Mr.. Townley and his satellites,
among whom is numbered the governor of North Dakota,
to hold a loyal meeting as it is for the Peoples Council
to do the same thing. Where the spirit Is that of opposi-
ton to the war. that spirit will make itself manifest, no
matter under what name it's devotees assemble.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-09-19
OLD TIMES IN THE NORTHWEST

Two local men were discussing their experiences in
the Red River Valley some twenty-odd years ago One
OF them had started out about that time as a peddler.
Somewhere north Of Ardoch he had traded a pair of
overaHs to a farmer for three sacks (six bushels) of oats
the farmer furnishing the sacks. His conscience troubled
nlm-so he says-for six bushels Of oats and three SACKS
seemed a lot to get for one pair Of cotton overalls The
oats made quite a load for his small wagon. and at Ar
oocn ne sold them to an elevator man. He does not re-
member what he got for them, but he does remember
that for oats and sacks he did not receive enough to
make a fair price for the overalls.
In those days this man bought eggs and butter. He
pousht Dutter Tor I'VE cents a pound, and eggs for six
cents a dozen. He used butter to grease his wagon
wheels Tor he could buy two pounds of butter for the
price OF one pound of axle grease. What effect the sail
In the butter had on the spindles deponent saith not.
The other man had at about that time operated
q mai farm. One summer he MIXED six COWS. all in
u ioW o MIX Butter was worth eight cents a pound
when 1t could be sold at all, and he W a long WAY
from market. Instead Of making butter, he would take
eacn pail OF milk, fresh and foaming, as it was drawn
ana pour 1t into the hog trough. It made fine hog feed
But hoss were worth only three to four cents a pound
live weight, and they were not in demand at that
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-09-19

themselves and give some. to the
small neutrals. Nor is this true only
of foodstuffs. For instance, we are
now supplying the fishermen of Dem
mark n Sweden with petrol and
benzine to run their fishing boats. We
are getting two thousand tons OF
Rumanian petrol and benzine weekly
with which to run these boats.
Blames 1t ON Wilson.
Fats and meat are scarce, but 9TH
er foodstuffs are being substituted.
The worst time Of the war is over for
Germany, and the harvest will be
good for all Of central Europe, with
a fair average harvest for Germany"
Regarding Americas entry into the
war. Leube expressed the prevailing
beliefs among the uniformed Ger
man public. He said:
I'VE, Germans, will stick together
SO long as the other fellows say they
are going to knock us out. The Ger
man people, however, do not believe
the American people want to knock
them out. They are convinced that a
majority OF the American people are
not in favor of a against Germany,
and that the American people and
congress would not have come out for
war II Wilson had not hypnotized
them into it. Wilson is not popular
with us, because we blame him for
the continuance of the war;
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1917-09-19
GERMANY REGRETS

Germany expresses regret over the Argentine incl
dent. Her expression of regret is sincere. She is sorry.
But her sorrow is not that she has inisbehaved, but that
she has been found out. That is the extent of the Ger
man otflc1al regret for any incident in connection with
which she Is caught playing a double part. Doubtless 1t
has been inconvenient to the German government to
nave her treachery exposed. Therefore she is regretful
that it has been exposed. But that is as far as the re-
srets go. There is no contrition, any more than there
was contrttion over the sinking Of the Lusitania, or over
the disclosure of the Mexican correspondence. There
will be no amendment There may be the adoption of
different methods. More skill may be used. But the
spirit OF treachery is still there. and 1t will express itself
in its appropriate manner. 1t can do nothing else.