The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-09-27
Dorothy DIG Says
BY DOROTHY DIX
WorId's Highest Paid Woman Writer

Don't Marry Out of Your Age Limit.
A lad of twenty is in love with a
woman of thirty The lady is willing.
but holds back because she doubts the
wisdom of marrying a man so much
Younger than herself, and the couple
ask my advice in the matter.
With all the earnestness of which
I am capable 1 entreat them not to
commit matrimonial hari-kari as
such a union is bound to be. Not
once in a million times does a mar
riage in which the woman is ten years
older than the man turn out success
fully Practically always it ends in
misery and regret for both parties.
There are many discrepancies be-
tween couple that time and effort
may adjust so that what seemed an
unsuita BILE marriage when 1t took
place turns out happily. The poor
and humble man an 'stocrat &c girl
/ marries may make money and raise
himself in the world. The illiterate
and uncouth girl cultivated man
| takes to wife may educate herself and
acquire a society manner. People or
different nationalitieS may learn to
| speak the others language and adopt
! the others habits and customs.
But instability in age between a
| man and woman is a difference that
| time aggravates and that grows worse
and worse every year. And this is par
| ticularly true when the woman is the
| older, because women age faster than
/ men, and while affection may nimbly
skip across the bridge between TWEEN
ty and thirty and call it nothing, only
| duty can halloo across the chaSm that
separates a woman's fifty from a
mans forty years. (
/ A woman is always older than
man is at the same age. She is born
older. A girl baby cuts her wisdom
| teeth sooner. She learns to talk be-
| fore he does, and she has made up
| her mind whom she will marry and
| what sort of a wedding she will have
before a boy has found out that wo-
| men, as a sex even exists And she
| keeps up this running start age
| that she has gotten in the cradle, so
that she is an old woman while he is
| still a mere youth.
These are stern facts of nature that
no rouge or straight fronts or dieting
| or massaging or thinking young
| thoughts, or rnilliners, or dressmakers
can change one iota, and it is what
| makes every marriage of a mature
| woman with boy tragedy. And the
gall and bitterness of the tragedy are
chiefly the woman's, for it is easier to
bear being tired of an old wife than
| for the old wife to know that her
young husband is wearied unto death
! of her.
| There are countless reasons why a
boy of twenty should not marry a
woman of thirty. The first reason is
that lad of that age is not fit to
marry any woman of any age. He
hasn't come to himself. He doesn't
even know what he is going to be
| himself. still less can he guess what
sort of wife he is going to need and
want.
The woman that charms and thrills
a boy of twenty bores him stiff when
he is twenty-five and is an insupport-
able affliction when he is thirty.
| IA o6 i,,V
much as they do in food, and a man
! is no more allured at middle age by
the feminine qualities that charmed
him in his salad days than his appe-
tfte is piqued by the lollypops on
which he was won't to feast as a
school boy.
Marriage is a mans sized job, son.
1t is not for babes and stockings. Wait
until your shoulders are strong enough
to bear it's load, and your chara cter
and habits are formed. Then you will
be able to bring judgment and dis
erection and experience of women tic
the task of selecting a wife who will
really suit you. And she won't be
ten years older than you ara You can
gamble on that. You never see a man
| of thirty marrying a woman of forty
unless she has a large and substantial
bank account
Another reason why a boy should
not marry a woman much older than
|
on which \matrimony can be made a
J success, and that is having the same
point of view, thinking the same
thoughts, and liking to do the same
things. This is impossible when there
| is much disparity in age.
The boy husband wants the amuse-
ments, the frivolities, the fun that
; belongs by right to him in the play
time of life. but the wife has arrived
at sober middle age when she is tired
-ot
strings. and cut down the heels of hel
shoes and wash off the paint on hel
face, and be comfortable. She may
force herself to drag around with hei
youthful spouse, but there's per
l or ginger in her forced pretence oil
self and a poor play-fellow for Friend
Husband.
, Still another reason why the mar
, riage of boy and a mature woman il
a fatal mistake is because it strikes al
, two of the most pronounced weak
, nesses in the masculine character. One
of these is the fear of ridicule. Mer
: have far less moral courage and are
much more conventional than women
: as is proven by the fact that ever,
man dresses exactly like his neighbor
! and would rather face a barrage fire
than weaS a hat with a brim a quarter
| of an inch wider or narrower than hi:
, fellows.
Now custom has decreed that tn,
: wife should be younger than the hus
band, and has made the old wife Of
r the young husband a figure of fun
} Therefore, if an elderly bride possess
ed every charm and virtue under th'
sun it would not keep her young hus
band from being ashamed of her. mo-
l prevent him writhing under the tor
l ture of having some ninny mistake
I her for his mother.
The other weakness such a mar
riage probes to its secret bottom ii
mans pet vanity of posing as thu
head of the house. No man with
: wife older than he is can ever b.
l that No man ten years younger thai
: his wife can ever be oracle to her
1 She has seen so much more of life
D felt so much more, experienced 81
much more that she can only be toll