Cheyenne record., 1917-09-13

| enough pocket money. But the idea
of an old unpaid grocery bill made mo
sick. talked things over with mother
the next day-told her wasn't going
to college-said was going to get
job. got her to let me run all the
accounts after that, and to attend to
everything. And got a job and be-
gan paying my way within week..
'If had thing like that to re-
member" said Rose unsteadiIy, '.Td
never forget to be proud of it so long
as lived"
II wish could be proud of it." said
Portia. But couldn't help making a
sort of grievance of it, too. In all these
years I've always made mother afraid
of me-always made her feel that was
somehow contemptuous Of her work
and ideas. I grubbed away until got
things Strengthened out, SO that her
income was enough to live on-enough
for her to live on. I'd pulled her
| through. But then
But then there was me-" said Rose.
II thought I was going to let you
CO." Portia went on fnflexibly. "But
things didn't come out that way-at
least I couldn't make up my mind to
make them-so you went 70 the uni
versity. I paid for that, and paid
| for your trousseau, and then was
| through"
Rose was trembling, but she didn't
| finch. "Wh-what was it," she asked
quietly, "what was it that might have
been different and wasn't? Was it
was it somebody you wanted to marry
that you gave up SO I could have
my chance?"
Portals hard little laugh cut like a
knife. "You have always thought me
cold" she said. $50 has mother. I'm
not, really. 1'm-the other way. 1
don't believe there ever was girl that
wanted love and marriage more than
I. man did want me to marry him
at last, and for while I thought
would. Just-just for the sake of mar
| rying somebody. He wasn't much, but
he was someone. But knew I'd come
to hate him for not being someone else,
and I couldn't make up my mind to
it. So took you on instead.
II stopped hoping, you see, and
tried to forget all about it. And. in
way, I succeeded. I was beginning
to get real jobs to do-big jobs for
big people, and it was exciting. That
made it easier to forget. I was begin
ming to think that some day I'd earn
my way into the open, big sort of life
that your new friends have had for
nothing. And then, a week ago, there
came the doctor and cut off that
chance.
"And yet" she leaned suddenly
forward, and the passion that had
been suppressed in her voice till now,
leaped up into flame-"and yet, can
you tell me what I could have done
differently I've lived the kind Of life
they preach about-a life of noble
sacrifice 1t hasn't ennobled me. It's
made me petty-mean-sour. It's
withered me up. Look at the differ
ence between us! Look at you with
your big, free spaciOusness-your pow
er of loving and attracting love! Why,
you even love me, now, in spite of all
I've said this morning. I've envied
you that-Tve almost hated you
for it.
mo, that's a lie! I've wanted to.
The only thing could ever hate you
for would be for failing. You've got
to make good! You've had my share
as well as yours-you're living my
life as well as yours. I'm the branch
they cut Off so that you could grow.
If you give up and let the big thing
slip out Of your hands the way you
were talking this morning, because
you're too weak to hold 1t and haven't
pluck enough to fight for 1t :"
Look at me-" said Rose. The
words rang like a command upon
battlefield.
Portia looked. Roses blue eyes
were blazing. II won't do that" she
said very quietly. II promise you
that" Then the hard determination
in her face changed to something soft:
err and as If Portals resistance count
ed no more than that of a child, she
pulled her sister up in her arms and
held her tight. And so, at last, Portia
got the relief of tears.