The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-06-07
effect along the Eastern front.
= 4

1t 4 4 q
% If there is as little grain in liquo
N as the liquor men would now have u
% believe, they should be put in Jail TO
e violating the pure food regulation
i and for lying to us all these years
: 4 4
All Italy needs from America jus
! now, according to the mission tha
: arrived last week, is coal, iron, chem
icals, steel, lumber, cotton, copper
brass, rubber and grain. Apparently
it feels able to keep itself supplied
with olives, lemons, mustard hand
organs and monkeys for time.
4 4 4
Little Eleanor had been to church
for the first time and on her return
home her grandmother asked her how
she liked it. ooh, liked it all right"
she replied, "but the men didn't act
a bit fair" "What did they do 2"
"Why, one man did all the hard work
and another man came around and
got all the money"
4 4
A new teacher had taken charge of
the class Of small boys. "What is
your name, please?" she asked one of
them. "Tom," he replied bluntly.
"Now, my dear boy" the teacher said
to him, "in school we must learn to
use full names. That is the proper
thing to do. You must always add
the last syllable and call yourself
Thomas" Then she turned to an
other boy, and asked him for his
name. "Jackas," he replied
= 4 4
A negro preacher was edited on
one occasion by the recital of a dream
had by a member of his church. "All
dis time" said the narrator, 81 was
a-dreamin' dat | was in old Satan's
dominions. tell you, pahson, dat
sho' was bad dream" "Was any
white men dere?" asked the dusky
divine. "Sho'-plenty of 'em," the
other FASTENED to assure his minister.
What was dey doing?" every one
Of EN-" was the answer, twas a-hold-
in cullud pusson between him an
lie fire."
We had friend who had been pref
" prosperous, but who came upon evil
lays. We met him one day and he
laid that he was pretty close to being
'usted, but he was still hoping. Then :
lie honked his horn, mournfully, and
lrove away, and we didn't see him
lgain till the other day when we
jumped into him on the street. "Hel-
o, old scout" we said. allow are
hings breaking now" "Fine," he
"Tm on my feet again"
'Bullyi" we exclaimed "How did
'ou do it," "Sold my car" The joke
vas so obvious that we didn't see it II
i'll after he had gone. 9
4 & 4 lC
AT the beginning of the Civil War ~
he standard physical fitness fixed by +
he United States authorities requir-
d a man to be feet, 8 inches in
eight in order to pass muster. A
Dung man went along with the other :
oys to enlist but when he came to II
he tallness test he was full two
lches short and was promptly told II
Y the recruiting officer to ego home II
nd grow up" The lad turned away H
jerking out between angry W
lbs "And so Ive-got to-let my |
to hell-because l amt |
ght feet highl" A little later on, it
ay be remarked, his country wasn't
particular,-or else it didn't want
take the sulphurous chances.
8 z & I
A well-to-do manufacturer who Z
lde hobby of archaeological re- {
arch was travelling in Palestine /
zen news reached him of an addition Il
his family. The manufacturer sac \
ced archaeological to parental joys. u
oviding himself with some water
m the Jordan to carry home for the
he at once set out for
ntucky. On the morning appointed n
the baptismal ceremony he arrived
the church ahead of the rest of
family in order to hand over the H
cious water to the preacher. AS
pulled the flask from his pocket
minister held up warning hand.
" now not now" he said softly III {