The Washington times., 1917-08-19
Vain and Hollow
Is the Career
OF the BurleSquer

even Washington-the cleanest,
shadiest, sweetest scented city in
country-even leave Washington TO
Join a burlesque company. Not very
often, to be sure, but often enough
to be too often, does a girl turn her
back on this real city and her head to
the city of eternal mirage where
everything is other than it seems and
nothing seems as it is. They leave
good homes, doting parents, oppor-
tunity for education and advance
ment, all for the hope Of dancing
gayly and singing blithely behind a
row of lights which have shone on
more unhappiness and disillusion
than all the other lights Of the world
combined.
Their ultimate goal is the big
time" circuit where in beautiful
theaters they will enrapture and
amuse even more beautiful audi
ences. They soon learn that the
first step on the ladder Of the big
time" is the rung Of burlesque, and,
years afterward, that the last rung
of the ladder which both ascends and
descends is burlesque, too.
From a nicely cushioned seat at
a matinee, it all looks so alluring, so
fascinating, 50 enthralling. Just for
once to be that bedizened creature in
the silver sequined chiffon! Just for
once to whirl and twirl and sing and
trill before a great audience! Just
for once to hear the swell Of applause
and to smile down and kiss ones
finger tips in reply! Life at home,
waking up in the same cool, blue
chintz room every morning, drink
ing breakfast coffee out Of the same
rose wreathed china cup every morn
ing, seeing the same people, hearing
the same talk is all so endlessly dull,
so hopelessly nonotonous.
And so with her eyes full
Of a vision glimpse of from the 81
side Of the footlights, she sets out to
her first rehearsal and this is how
its goes:
1880 q. m. I
The muddy alley.
The stage door.
The struggling in.
The disrobing.
The disillusion.
The disgust. y!
The curse under the breath.
The legs that are bowed.
The knees that are knocked.
The feet that are fiat
The underfed pony.
The over the age limit chlorine.
The lady with the name like
series of typographical errors.
The slump in the producers op-
timism.
The owners slant at the Morning
Glories", to be.
The strain on the eyes.
The headache thereafter.
The. mufled groan.
IL g. m
The ~aIl ready" i
The rust in the piano strings.
The cracked soprano.
The Volley of oaths.
The rising temperature
The rising tempers-
The wish that burlesque had never
been invented.
The prayer to be hcme In bed and
asleep.
The boarse shout of the musical
director.
The effort to humble the words
nobody knows.
The general profanity.
The soaring mercury.
The rouge that runs.
The pony that giggles.
The humidity.
The false curls.
1880 a. m.
The beer for the prima donna ..
The longing eyes. II
The parched lips.
The smack Of satisfaction.
The beam on the rest OF the COM
pany.
The pessimism OF the comedian.
The whispered joke IN the lead
ing lady's ear.
The turned shoulder.
The nose in the air.
The general gloom.
The intermission.
II noon.
The song of the prima donna.
The bored expression.
The absent minds.
The thought: could put some pep
into that song.
The forgotten cue.
The cold peTspiration.
The mumbled apology.
The hasty prompt from the wings.
The broken garter.
The bent safety pin.
The chlorine out of step.
The indignant denial.
The fine iotted down for future