The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1917-03-15

HlIi iBHty
For, so think mother does her duty
And keeps her faith with honor and
with God;
| didn't raise my boy to be coward,
I'd rather have him dead and turned
a clod.
A woman considers a mustache a
considerable achievement if her son
raised it.
The town mans garden will have to
be awfully poor not to be Of some ac-
count this year.
Since Idaho went bone dry the ice
man will have fewer refrigerator Sc
crets, but when he does have one it
will be good one.
The discovery for cure for Bright's
disease practically reduces humanity's
unvanquished foes to one. There is
no sovereign balm for old age.
Saturday was Old Bill Misgiven's
unlucky day. He bought quarters
worth of beans uptown and lost three
of them on the way home.
Rice as a substitute for potatoes
may do fairly well for while, but
when the price of rice goes up what
shall we have as a substitute for rice
In the good old days the dealer
stopped the spout of your oil can
with spud, and thought nothing of
throwing in a red onion when you
bought can of sardines.
4 4 &
When a girl dreams it is that she is
being married in a church crowded
With former suitors who are crying so
oud that the strains of the wedding
march can not be heard.
"Checkbooks for women" say we.
woman always knows to a cent how
much she has overdrawn, because she
,eeps the stubs faithfully checked up.
4 man never knows until the bank
ellis him.
"Willie, you are going out to din
Ter. You may ask for second piece
# cake if you really want it, but
here's one thing l wish you to re-
MEMBER" "Yep, ma" Whatever
ou do, don't ask for a second helping
f potatoes"
The most terrible calamity we have
card of in many years happened to s
'oise man. He was returning home
rom Salt Lake and walking along the {
ard cement pavement let his grip I
all. s
"What is the president going to t
O? ?" we asked Old Bill Misgivens, i
Tho never lacks for an appropriate g
nswer. cav, | don't know what he s
going to do" replied Old Bill. "But f
he'll drop into the tailor shop any v
ay and litsen to the board of |
.rategy assembled around the stove, Q
e can mighty soon find out what he @
lght to do"
A man may tell certain lies and not
iolate his church obligations or the {
lies of good society. These lies are |
n the list: How many miles his car /
an make on a gallon of gasoline; how
e can shave himself quicker and bet
n than any barber can; how his cleo
'ic light bill is only $1.79 a month
nd he keeps five rooms light as day )
\ night; how he doesn't feel a day
der than he did when he was 30.
Colored conversation: wasn't that
wful about SAM" Flows that?"
When he went home Saturday night
e found his wife in another mans i,
rms. Sam, he gets his shotgun, :
1oots that man, kills his wife and \
len puts the barrel in his mouth d.
nd blows his own head off," "Yess, J
lat's bad, but it might have been I
orse." might have been worse? I
hat do you mean?" "Well, if it had
zen Friday night it might have been
e." ;,
4 4 4
A certain man has polite way OF y
Hing one of his neighbors the tight =
It tightwad in the whole world. His !,
,ighbor was arrested for chicken d
ealing, the other day he says, and
hen hailed into court there was only
lie piece of evidence to prove him
lilty. He had been repeatedly seen CO
It'll feathers on his hands and in his W
ckets. "He isn't chicken thief" a
e Judge found, "but is just naturally ~
tight that he holds onto every dol -
r he gets until the eagles moult at
lst three times"
GLOW much are calories? want o.