The Yale expositor., 1917-11-01
Little Problems
&cMarried Life
By
WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN
THE SPECTRE OF CONSTANT
JEALOUSY.

(Copyrightl

JEALOUSY.
When a man is afraid to remark at
the breakfast table, even mildly and
casually, that, from what he has heard,
Cleopatra must have been q beautiful
woman, 1t is fair to assume that the
spectre of constant jealousy dwells in
that household. When a wife fears
to look at the moon because she may
be accused of admlring the man in 1T,
the husband needs to be gently re-
minded that he is taking a very rapid
shortcut to killing the love he seems
to hold so sacred. Love is fed by con-
fidence, trust, faith and serene restful
reliance. Morbid jealousy is poison
Of doubt, suspicion and injustice that
dulls the love it does not deaden.
Scientists tell us that every known
poison Is, In small doses, a stimulant;
In larger doses 1t is narcotic; in still
larger ii kills. In mild form Jeal-
ousy is inseparable from real love. 1t
is the hearts guardianship Of it's treas
ure. 1t is the hunger for the sacred
ness of sole possession; the righteous
demand to be first, absolute and SUI
preme. It is the instructive protest mt
even the thought of another sharing
in those little tendernesses, graceful
attentions, and words, looks and ex-
pressions of love that should be con-
centrated on one, not syndicated
among many.
This instructive jealousy, though
reused in an instant, falls gently to
sleep again with q smile of peace at
the recognition of a false alarm.
Jealousy, in any instance, must be-
long TO one of two classes. 1t is either
justified by the facts or 1t Is not; 1t
Is a right charge or an unjust one.
If justified, the one who causes IL may
do so, in one or two instances, through
thoughtlessness or because of a less
finely balanced appreciation of the de-
mands and duties of love, for some ma
lures are more wounded by look than
others by q blow. Here a few words
of gentle protest may bring new
course of action that is absolutely
jealousy-proof. If the offending acts
become a continuous performance, then
the offender is unworthy Of either the
love or the jealousy. But If the con-
slant jealousy be undeserved, the one
thus continuously storming in jealous
tempest is not worthy of the love and
loyalty thus traduced and put to scorn.
Nothing weakens loyalty and con-
stancy so quickly as morbid jealousy /;
nothing inspires, feeds, strengthens and
almost guarantees loyalty and con-
stancy like loving confidence, real COM
radeship and restful trust.
Jealousy, even when justified, should
not be permitted TO run away with dis
erection. The emotional pain it may be
natural to feel it may not be wise to
express. There is a tendency to an
emotional explosion that may wreck
happiness. 1t is a moment when one
should heed the advice of the sign at a
railroad crossing: "Stop, look and
listen" The first suspicion in mar
ried life may be more hazardous than
the first real quarrel. 1t may develop
an exaggerated estimate of the Inn
portance of what may have been mere
ly q foolishly indiscreet word or ac-
ton.
The offender, conscious of innocence
Of real wrong even in thought may
become angered and indignant at con-
demnatlon many sizes too large for the
offense apology for the minor thought
lessness may be withheld or If spoken,
ignored In the presence of the injustice
Of weightier charge. The burden of
injustice becomes shifted to the one
originally innocent. If the inadvertence
of a moment, now looming large, be
but an error of action, not of mind
or of heart, 1t should instantly be for
given and forgotten because explained
and understood.
If there be real reason for jealousy
In a trifle, wise action may confine 1t
to the trife. Jealousy through it's own
indiscreet expression may plant what
1t fears. Let the wounded one seek
to find the cause that led to the action
inspiring the jealousy. The wife,
through pique at being neglected, may
receive innocently and unwisely the
kind attention of another. The hus-
band, brought to realization of the
drifting possibilities Of his negligence,
may by special marks Of affection, re-
turning to the old courtship methods,
restore the old certainty of faith and
allness. II wise, he will let the con-
seriousness of his initial wrong keep
him from revealing too plainly his pain.
Angry protests and condemnation never
cure; they merely put a premium on
secrecy and deception. 1t does not re.
move the disease, 1t merely drives II
into the system.
In every instance OF jealousy the
innocent one should meet 1t ut the
beginning, at its earliest manifesto
ton. This means recognition and a
wise determination to remove the
cause, but does not justify blame or In