The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1917-03-24
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A Widows Experience
By ESTHER vANDEyEER


place was but short distance fron,
ours. Indeed, the rear line marked tho
iiniits OF both places. On one side of
TINS line was the playground of the
several children. boys and girls in.
Guiding Edward and myself. who lived
Id the neighborhood. | can remember
as far back as when was seven wears
OH and Edward nine that in playinr
Keep house he and | always PLAYED the
part Of husband and wife. There was
swing on this playground. and Ed.
wards father put up articles for n
boys gymnasium. 4 little house four
or i've feet high was built for us girls
ana furnished with Toy furniture. At
times we would leave our dolls there
all night, first putting them To bed
When grew taller | could not IN
derStand how cou.d have stood ul-
right in that little house. Ana what
seemed more remarkable TO me was that
| Edward could have done 50. Tor hcva>
always a large child And remember
that when he had been away 10 school
for long while aud came back H. was
taller than the house
by this time we were grow linz oat 81
Childhood into that intermediate pci. od
when, though boys and girls may feel
love. they are not likely to express it.
1t is a period Of transition from child
love to real love. The boy mind is taken
up with athletic spots, while the girl
hides her secret almost from herself
Indeed, so nehulous is this period that
in my own case il Is difficult for me 10
recall my exact feelings | remember
them family and as existing at inter.
walls. They We're rather small portion
of my girls existence than the whole
of it,
When was sixteen was awakened
to the true condition by the marked
preference displayed by another girl
for my Edward From that time my
love became the principal instead of
minor part in my lite. ! failed to con.
ceal my jealousy from him. and this
brought out his own consciousness OF
what was between us There was no
formal declaration no conventional
giving Of the hand, not even the 10y
ers kiss He merely said something
about the other girl. ! know not what,
but il assured me there was no change
In our position since the days when
we played husband and wife at keep.
Ing house-no change In the position
but great change In the condition
1t had then been like winter bud, bur
il was now swollen under spring sun
ready to put forth leaves
sometimes wished that | could have
experienced the proposal that other
girls seemed to regard the next most
important moment in their lives To
their marriage. Edward and had no
occasion for proposal. our love was
rather, as | have said an unfolding Of
bud than the birth of butterfly
The only abrupt part of II was when
he gave me the first kiss treasured
that in lieu of proposal
When we were married great changes
had occurred. | had been left alone IN
the world. so ii was arranged that Ne
should occupy my house, our living
room was on the second floor, over
looking the playground where we had
pretended to be husband and wife
The faint dream of childhood had been
developed to realization of almost
perfect happiness If there could be a
perfection on earth these five years of |
my life, from twenty to twenty-five. /
were such a condition Two children |
were born TO us. boy and girl /
What seemed strange to NE was that, /
though / gave them a b0uudless love. f,
,rat which bore their father. Instead /
of being diminished, was increased. I
Truly love must be. like space. infinite. /
Cp to this point there had been an |
expansion OF happiness suddenly /
there came check our younger i
child Sickcucd ana died have de
scribed with some miuuteness what 4
have likened 10 the gradual unfolding
Of flower ! have 10 heart 10 give
more than a brief mention Of its blight
ing Within few months after the
first death second occurred. AMI
within another year lost my husband
For a time was in sort Of col
iarse in which did not take enough
interest In my surroundings 10 be at
fected by them After one has met
with a serious accident or has been
operated upon by surgeon the senses
are deadened: then comes the begin
ming of pain Ii was 20 with me
When | became myself my surround
ngs were painful TO me Some per
sons similarly situated nurse their
grief by living in such surroundings
longed TO get away from them
Friends advised me to seek recovery
n the many new scenes and interest
ne objects that are to be found abroad
took their advice. ! sailed for Eu-
,ope. leaving the place where ! had
,een so bappy In the hands of an agent