Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1917-10-26
HIS SATANIC MAJESTY ADVOCATES
IN FAVOR Of THE KAISER

Louis Syberkrop has acquired
much fame as author of a satire on
Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests have
come to him from Tumulty, Secretary
| Daniels and Roosevelt, and people in
every state of the union and in Can
ada have asked for copies of Mr.. Sy-
berkrop's article. Here it is:
1.-The Internal Region
June 28,1917.
ITO Wilhelm Won Hohenzollern
King of Prussia, Emperor of All
Germany. and Envoy Extraordi-
nary of Almighty God:
my Dear Wilhelm:
II call you by that familiar name
for ! have always been very close to
you, much closer than you could ever
know.
From the time that you were yet
an undeveloped being in your moth
er's womb have shaped your destiny
for my own purpose.
Nero. the Roughneck of Rome.
I'm the days of Rome I created a
roughneck known in history as Nero.
He was a vulgar character and suited
my purpose at that particular time.
In these modern days classic demon
| and efficient supernatural was need
ed. and as l knew the Hohenzollern
blood, l picked you as my special in
strument to place on earth an annex
of hell. I gave you abnormal ambi-
ton, likewise an over supply of ego
tism, that you might not discover
your own failings; twisted your
mind to that of mad man with GER
! tain normal tendencies to carry you
I by, most dangerous character
placed in power; l gave you the pow
er of hypnotist and certain mag
netic force that you might sway your
people.
NOTHING Wrong With Sword Arm.
II am responsible for the deformed
arm that hangs helpless on your left
for your crippled condition embitters
your life and destroys all noble inn
| pulses that might otherwise cause me
!, anxiety but your strong sword arm
is driven by your ambition that
/ squelches all sentiment and pity:
| placed in your soul deep hatred for
ell things English, for of all nations
on earth | hate England most: wher-
ever England plants her flag she
brings order out of chaos and the
hatad Cross follows the Union Jack
under her rule wild tribes become
tillers of the soil, and in due time
practical citizens; she is the great
civilizer of the globe and l HATE
HER. ! planted in your soul cruel
hatred for your mother because SHE
was English and left my good friend
Bismark to fan the flame l had kin.
died. Recent history proves how well
our work was done. 1t broke your
royal mothers heart, but gained my
purpose.
1.-The inherited disease of the Ho-
henzollerns killed your father. just as
it will kill you, and you became the
ruler of Germany and tool of mine
sooner than l expected
Sends Three Evil Spirits.
ITO assist you and further hasten
my work, I sent you three evil spir-
its, Nietzsche, Treitschke and late,
Bernhard, whose teachings infiamed
the youth of Germany, who in good
time would be willing and loyal sub
jects and eager to spill their blood
and pull your chesenuts, yours and
mine; the spell has been perfect-you
cast your ambitious eyes towards the
Mediterranean, Egypt. India and the
Dardanelles and you began your great
railway to Bagdad, but the ambitious
archduke and his more ambitious
! wife stood in your way. 1t was then
that l sowed the seed in your heart
that blossomed into the assassination
of the duke and his wife, and all hell
/ saddled the crime on to Servia
saw Won set sail for the fiords of Nor
way and | knew you would prove an
alibi. How cleverly done, SO much
like your noble grandfather, who also
secured an assassin to remove old
King Frederick of Denmark, and lat
er robbed that country of two pro-
vinces that gave Germany an oppor-
tunity to become a naval power.
Murder Is dirty work. but it takes a
Hohenzollern to make a way and get
by.
/