Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1917-10-19
Little Problems
@cWarried Life
By
WILLIAM GEORGE JORDAN
DANGER OF GROWING APART
MENTALLY.
lCopyright)

When two friends start out for a
long walk together they seem instinc-
lively to adius. their steps sc that
they walk side by, side, within touch
ing distance of each other. If one
gradually quickens his pace until he is
yards ahead of the other and, in his
self-absorption, increasingly widens
the distance between them, they cease
to be two walking together and be-
come two walking alone. Marriage is
a lifelong walk together of two who
have selected each other from all the
world. 1t is community of thought,
ideals, aims, needs and sentiments that
tends to keep them in step. 1t, does
not mean q sacrifice of individuality,
nor does it demand unanimity of opin-
ion, but there should ever be progress
sive harmony on essentials and pro-
gressive sympathy on nOnessentials.
Some men feel a pleasant glow of
satisfaction ia fulfilled duty when they
divide generously with their wives
their material prosperity. If money
were the only thing in life, or even
the greatest thing, their view would
be correct, but the really greatest
things in the world are those that
money cannot buy. When man finds
himself growing broader mentally and
does not share his new self with his
wife, he is taking an intellectual ele-
~atOr and letting her trudge alone up
the stairway as best she can. When
he grows into larger and finer social
world and does not make her a part
of it he is travelling in the parlor-car
and keeping her in the day coach.
When the larger Interpretation OF life
~and it's problems strengthens his spir-
itual and ethical vision, while his wife
continues in the narrow horizon of I'M
Illuminated household cares, he is
monopolizing the telescope, which
brings things near and larger, leaving
her the microscope which only in
creases the Importance of her trifles.
Growing apart mentally must, under
these conditions, become inevitable. 1t
may be that he alone is to blame; 1t
may be her fault, or it may be the blind
thoughtlessness of both. His repeated
attempts to talk over with her his
ideals, his dreams of ambition, his
plans, purposes and progress, to stimu-
late her interest, to share with her his
intellectual uplift may be met with no
real comprehension, no sympathy, no
inspiring response. When cOmradeship
in marriage dies, it really makes very
little difference what the postmortem
verdict as to the deceaSe may be.
When the husband is out in the
world of business which tends to blend
with the social world he may broaden
mentally as he prospers~ materially.
| He travels over the country, and in a
| wider acquaintance with men and con-
| ditions has many of the rough edges
| of prOvincialiSm worn smooth. he
meets men of attainment and action,
men of power and prestige, and under
| q more stimulating environment deya-
| OPS latent strength of his own. lie
brushes up against keen minds that
| put a new edge on his thinking; he is
| in closer touch with current thought
| and opinion; he has acquired polish
| The keynote of his living, so far as
society is concerned, is higher. HIS
| tastes become more discriminating,
| his demands more exacting. If he has
not been sharing these things with the
wife of his youth, he finds she has
been standing still while he has been
progressing.
She who faithfully struggled with
him and for him, helped him to get
the foothold of his present success
and became absorbed in working, plan
| ming and saving, may now be mere
| drudge. He has a new standard OF
| life now, and she falls sadly short OF
it. He measures things more super
ficially, and though her heart may be
unchanged, her head is not up to date
He may be ashamed to introduce her
/ into the new society of which he has
become a part; she is plain, unattrac-
tive, overretiring or oyerloquaclous
| She is aggressive in her dress and dis
play she is not familiar with the rules
| of the social game-with the tech
| nique" OF his new set.
The old equality between them has
been destroyed-7killed through ne
glect. 1t is not the work of moment
At the slow, widening process OF years
| of growing apart. But the realization
| of it all may come ir moment. There
may be suddenly an illuminating flash
| of consciousness, when he involun-
| tarily faces it, in comparing her with
!! other women.
Some little mannerism of hers that
/ once was sweet, just because it was
| hers, jars on his sensibilities and
| strikes a discordans note. Once he
| did not care whether she thought II
was Homer or Carlyle who wrote
"Silas Mariner" or whether she had
| heard of either author or book. Per
haps at that time he did not know the
book himself. The red tape of So
ciety's cards, passwords and methods
| NAV have become second nature to