New Britain herald., 1917-07-24
COMMUN UNICATED.
PLAY BALL!

Boards baseball team will meet the | "All Comers' nine at the sportfest to be held July 25th at Saybrook- blythe Sea.
 The com bined boards, with the may or, will constitute the "All Hots'' part or "h1ch has been unjustly accused of holding star chamber sessions, when In fact, they were in secret baseball practice. learning secret signals, how to put them over, etc, (also ct cetera) :. ILLS Honor will be in the box as the pl'cher who pitches the ball (not as the pitcher who came to the well olce too many times). George is sure some pitcher and can put them over in way that fools the batter some of .!le time, some of them all of the .iine' put not all of them all of the time. George will divide box honors 'aho receipts) with Al who is said to oe Court Jester, also suggester, and is known to be an. bilious also ambide- oxtrous himself
 The new safety board clerks, (not Harold, Howard or Bill), will keep the score dlstribu ice water or salt wa ter us needed, also some campaign, thot champagne) literature, ct cetera.
 ht cetera is great, it expresses so iiiuch and so clearly, it is instructive ana constructive without being de- structVe and His Honor dislikes any, thing that is obstructive of the plate when eating or putting them over". Free tickets now on sale; sale price So.oo (and good butter is worth it). Pardon the above discussion. The All Hots" baseball team should read, "All Stars baseball team.
 This all star game will be the event Of the season. You will see nine safe men, all of them workers for their city, and its good, and all with no thought of working the city; men of toll, also, who have promised to work in the municipal fields of Spuds, Get cetera), and whose promises still hold good, and are inscribed on the tablets Of fame. All residents of our fair city, except Howard (who sleeps here, it is true, and attends secret sessions of the police board, but not as chair man), all of these men, ready to sac- rlfice their salaries even, for the well fare of the city and ready to play ball, not politics, all of this outlay of time and brain tissue for mere promises and, badges. You all know about our pitchers George and Alfred (nuff 'sed).
 George is the King Pitcher and can serve them over in any style, high or low balls. and what he can't do in the way of curves Alfred will suggest in his wide experience, and then do it himself. It is proper per- haps. to state here that Alfred is
 for hn oi as we'll as for himself. and has sug- gested a cut in his own salary in his campaign for economy and efficiency
 And now, a real secret which has dodged the censor and secret service star chamber department of justice. Dennis has consented to play behind the bat. The writer once saw this truly great catcher in action and he saw real baseball Dennis stopped them all and retired only after an exhibition of gameness never equalled to consult the doctor. after stopping some hot low balls with his stomach, he stopped cold high ball fntended for his stomach) with his eye Dennis, as in the past, will work with George, Frank will do the backstopping for AL they having worked well together for year or more. coached by How ard, and if their signals do not (double) cross, they will leave the bushes for the big league soon. How ard says he won't play unless he can get in the box at least one inning, he says he has some minutes he can put over safely, but the management is skeptical and fear he might use his own teammates for targets.
 The Sufield- Berlin limousine route of taxis is needed and needed bad to convey the strategists, and Howard may have an inning. Gle will also have charge of the buttermilk booth) No grandstand plays or political speeches. Special and some val uable prizes have been offered for any startling plays and it is said an ex-chairman has offered safety pin (solid gold) said to cost Sl,5oO or more to the pitcher for the All Combers'' if he succeeds in beaning either of our pitchers, before, during or after the game Beaning in base ball parlance means hitting In the "coco" with some hard opaque suh- stance, the ball, the bat or some juicy brick, ct cetra. This generous and kindly offer of the ex-cha1rman IS sure to bring out similar offers from all ex-members of the safety board. And now the grand surprise.
 The mayor of Chicago will act as urnire. but his prime object in com ing is to meet Our George. He has read about our mayor in the Herald and Hartford Times and wants to compare shakes from hand to polit1- ca1 also milk shakes All in all the outing will be an occasion. Come early and bring your knitting. The peanuts and pop corn can be had at the same old price, but the bags will be smaller and the lemonade will he colored to suit the buyer.
 Get your tickets now. The tractor blows will leave for the scene early,