The Washington herald., 1917-07-10
why the Rush, Edwardf

Several days ago Edward Luttor
read in the paper that Uncle Sam was
going to get rid of all the whisky
But Edward would beat him to It, and
he cornered quite a little of IL with
his Saturday night enevelope. BY the
time Sunday morning came the sigh
of several bottles with no one to take
care Of them proved too much for Ed.
ward and he began sampling each one
to see IL they came UP to the bar.
keeps recommendation.
Then he went into the street and
fell into the arms of a cop. He needed
no support, he thought, and then he
cussed so loud the neighbors got out
their gas masks. The court fined him
200 >jitneys for being drunk and pa
rolled him in the disorderly case.
George Lets Father DO II.
Nobody works but father at the
house OF George Miller, sr. George
Miller. jr.. is the boy who sits home
smoking his pipe OF clay and waits
for poor old father to put bread on
the table and shoes on his feet. And
he is a very ungrateful boy, as he
| steals what father earns and sits
around for his loving parent to bring
something else home.
The other day George, jr., swiped
lot OF old iron. which father was
| saving so he could buy a winter suit,
His theft OF this broke the old mans
heart and he had his son arrested.
Father told the court that he was the
ant and his son was the grasshopper
just as In Aesop's fable. The court
thought the same and sent George
1r, to occoquan for thirty days.
Please Go Way and
Just because a policeman was inn
pertinent enough to wake him out of
a deep slumber, Jim Jonas will spend
thirty days at Occoquan. Jim drank
so much red liquor Sunday morning
that he couldn't keep his eyes open
and he 'fiopped" and was sleeping
the sleep of the peaceful in Fenton
street when he was rudeIy awakened,
Washa masha." said Jim to the
| cop. "Cansh yuh let a gemmar
shleep." cit up" replied the COD
you amt no owl. do your sleeping
in the night time 'Yesh I'm ar
owlsh," said Jim, "cansh yuh shee
ah got feddersh." He did have a little
| droopy one in his hat.
And now Jim will have thirty long
snooZes at Occoquan and unless the
inmates howl these snoozes will be
uninterrupted.
Always a Woman In II.
For the last six months Jake Dove
has been as useful to his family as a
safety razor at Bloodfield ball. II,
worked hard to keep from working
But as long as he let the girls alone
his patient. long suffering family said
nothing. Heretofore when Jake 20,
tired of doing nothing he stopped and
took rest, but a few days ago he
got lady friend to help him.
This was the straw that broke the
camels back and his family showed
him the door. Then the long arm o,
the law reached out and sent him
down for ninety days.
Jim Had Indigestion.
Sunday morning Jim Morr got VI
on the wrong side OF the bed, and
not only that his coffee was cold
when he came down to breakfast.
Ordinarily Jim is in a good humor
but that day a thousand little glooms
danced all around. He had difficulty
at first finding some one to fight II
out with. Finally three other fellows
who work at the same garage, show
ed up and Jim began to be cross and
pick a fight. These boys didn't want
to fight as they an had just Joined
the church. But Jim would fight
anyhow and he presented one OF
them with a Heidelberg scar on the
cheek with his penknife.
This boy didn't like the German
decoration on his face and had Jim