The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-08
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

The George Ward and Arlie Barber
 gentleman's agreement not to make
 faces at one another In the political
 mirror fer the public's amusement may
 be shattered, for now when they ap-
 proach the looking glass to primp for
 the political show they will behold an other face, that of pr. Barrett, peering phonse and Gaston stunt there Is like lihood of grimaces. and the dainty lit- i tie powder rag will have to be laid aside and court plaster needed for nose
 bleed.
 I know each of the three gentlemen
 will protest that there will be no harsh low the belt, and that so far as vituperation is concerned. perish the thought Maybe so. but just wait. You can't run political show and draw crowd with candidates vieing with each other in bouquet f1inging, for the public is apt to yawn and go out in the middle of the performance, and vulgarly say that the whole blooming show Is tiresome or rotten.
 
 | Now, my friends-for I hope at this writing I can call each one of you l friend, and I do 1t now for later on may have to dodge a brick or two or stand up like good sport and take beating-while the dove of peace l is flying above us I will use the olive branch. So my advice to each one of you is to build your fences as tight and close as you can, and dig in as quickly as possible, for If you wait too long something is liable to drop on you out of clear sky, or blow you up from be- heath. It's common prudence to pre- pare against the enemies aircraft and submarines
 Just at present the political horizon 1 is clear, and the atmosphere exhilarat- ing. It always is at the beginning of few guns are unlimbered and the noise and the smoke begin to deaden ear drums and redden eyes, and then hot air will be liberated. and poisonous gases let loose, and epithets will hurtle back and forth, and all will know the war Is on.
 Whats the use pretending that it is going to be otherwise? It never was, and never will be. Sure some will say ere can't nresarva nv oalpo ana ha courteous and gentleman1y toward my opponent, I will retire from the race" Alright, my advice to any such minded is to get out while the getting Is good, for you will never get the office with out q scrap. It's nobody's office to be handed out on silver platter. This much I know-the public has made up it's mind that it is going to have hand in the hand picking"
 Do I not believe in peace on earth and good will towards men? Certainly I do, and I regret that nearly 20 cen- turies after these words of the heaven ly host fell on earth. that war and fighting is still a part of the days work I am no pessimist, far from 1t. live always on the sunny side of the street, but this does not blind me to the fact that up to date the Kansas prophet was right when he said The purif1cation of politics is an irridescent dream" I pray for the day when men will quit calling one another names, but it hasn't yet arrived in the polit- lical world.
 Now, George Ward has been abused for nearly quarter of a century, and can stand lot of it without finching. Arlie Barber has been in the spotlight only a few years, but he has no kick coming for lack of verbal brickbats thrown his way; but I am really wor- ried about pr. Barrett, the beloved physician of East Lake. fear that his feelings will be sadly torn before the race Is over.
 There might be some comfort to be gotten out of the situation if we could limit the cutting words and damaging charges to the candidates themselves. but to hope for such consummation Is a silly dream, for their friends will line up. and each crowd will get mad and excited, and everybody will be drawn in. so if you are sensitive get your nerves treated; if you are easily excited take a bromide; if you have corns on your feet, remain indoors, or somebody will be sure to step on
 your pet one.
 i I was shocked the other day to read some of the things that the blind poet
 Milton called one of the men with
 whom he was engaged in a political
 controversy. It wasn't cussing, but I felt about 1t like the fellow who, when Sam Jones reproved him for swearing,
 replied: MT Jones, if I had your line of slang I could easily quit being pro- fane." But in the old days men were I good haters, and when they broke even l a literary lance with one another they used up all the explosives in the dic- tionary.
 l It has always been a joke to me to hear some presiding officer in the midst of a heated debate remind the speakers that they must confine themselves to ly--