The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1917-09-07
eMApTER xx,i,.-continued.

~
Hkcre was something peculiarly hor-
f3Hktng to him In the exhibition Ran
In was making Of himself. He'd
newer In his life taken a drink ex.
ct couvivially. and then he took a.
4e az would pass muster. Going Off
a(he and deliberately fuddling one
st6, az q means Of escaping unpleas-
ant realities, struck him as an act Of
the basest cowardice. But for that
picture Of Rose he'd have gone long
ase and left Randolph to his bemused
Fe8ections. Only Rose had
asked him to drop in on the doctor for
visit. Did she mean she wanted him
to try to help2
He tried. though not very success
fully. to conceal his violent disrelish OF
the tnsk. when he said: "LoOk here,
linn! What is the matter with you?
Are you sober enough to tell me?"
Randolph put down his glass. II
have told yOu." he said. "rm EleanOr's
ksgt man. Well kept. oh, yes! Beau
uRBiy kept. I'm nothing but a pos
session Of hers! A trophy of sorts. an
sraament. I'm something she's made.
6ave q big practice. I'm the most
fashionable doctor In Chicago. They
, csQse here the women, In shoals.
Anf's Mes nOr's doing. I'm a faker,
aAraud. pose for them. play up.
I give them what they want. And
tAAf's her doing. They 60 silly about
MeS fancy they're In love with me.
haven't done lick Of honest work
III fhe last year. I can't work. She
waat let me work. She-smothers me.
WAerever I turn. there she is. smooth
f1S things out, trying to make 1t easy.
ntiug to anticipate my wants. I've
sndy one want. That's to be let alone.
SAs can't do that. She's Unsuitable.
M6re's always something more she's
saStng to get. and I'm always trying to
keep something away from her, and
fitting"
sand why? Do you want to know
way, Aldrtch2 That's the cream Of the
aAins. Because we're In love with
each other. She wants me to live on
her love. To have nothing else to live
-.
DE you want to know what my no
t0a Of heaven isl 1t would be to go
~ alone. with one suit of clothes In
q handbag, oh. and fifty or a hundred
aellars In my pocket wouldn't mind
that: don't want to be q tramp-to
sstQe mining town. or slum. where
csiiId start q general practice; where
the things I'd get would be accident
cases, confinement cases: real things,
urgent things, that night and day are
all aiike to. I'd like to start again and
be poor: get this stink Of easy money
cut Of my nostrils. I'd like to see II
csuld make good on my own.
II came back from New York, after
that look at Rose, meaning to do 1t;
meaning to talk 1t out with Eleanor
and tell her why. and then go. Well, !
talked. Talks cheap. But didn't go.
M never go. I'll go on getting softer
and more Of a fake; more dependent.
And Eleanor will go on eating me up
until the last thing in me that's me
myself IS gone. And then. some day.
she'll look at me and see that I'm moth
ing"
Then, with suddenly thickened speech
Gan affectation. perhaps), he looked up
at Rodney and demanded:
"What are you looking so s-sOlemn
aboute Can't you take Joke? Come
along and have another drink"
NO." Rodney said. "I'm going. And
you'd better get to bed"
Rodney walked home that night like
a man daxed. The vividness Of one
blazing idea blinded him. The thing
that Randolph had seen and lacked the
eourage to do: the thing Rodney de-
sDiseA him for q coward for having
fafled TO do-that thing Rose had done.
without knowing 1t, yielding to
blind, unscrutinized instinct. he'd want
ed,Rnse 30 live on his love. He'd tried
70 smooth things out for her. anticipate
her wants. He'd wanted her soft, help
lesA dependent. Shed seen. even then.
something he'd been blind to-some-
tAing he'd blinded himself to: that
love, b. itself. was not enough. That
Il could poison. as well as feed.
But she had won, among the rest Of
her spoils Of victory, the thing she had
originally set out to get. HIS friend
ship and respect. Friendship. he re-
membered her saying. was thing you
had to earn. When you'd earned 1t, 1t
couldn't be withheld from you. Well,
II was right she should be told that !;
made to understand It to the full. DE
couldn't ask her to come back to him.
But she must know that her respect
was as necessary now to him as shed
once said his was to her. He must see
her and tell her that.
He stopped abruptly In his walk. His
bones, as the Psalmist said, turned to
water. How should he confront that
gaze of hers, which knew 80 much and
understood so deeply--he with the
memory Of his two last ignominious en-
counters with her behind him7
CHAPTER XIV.
Friends.
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