Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1917-11-16
WHEN THE FAMILY INTERPRETERS.
(Copyright)

has been wrecked on the rocks of fam
lily interference. If it were customary
to erect tombstones to the memory
Of dead loves the cause of the death
Of marital happiness in thousands of
homes might be given in the chiselled
epitaph: "Died From an Overdose of
the Interference of Relatives!'
If there be one place in the world
where the justice Of "home rule"
should be unquestioned, that place is
the home. Marriage makes the cou-
pie new firm, an independent partner
ship, not branch house under the
management of parent company.
1t was interference and bad advice
that spoiled the first marriage, started
the first quarrel, and broke up the first
home in the world in those early days,
long, long ago when Eden was the only
spot on earth that had even q name.
This was the first lesson to man and
now after sixty centuries some people
have not learned it yet. Husband and
wife must work out their own problems
In their own way.
The problems Of two must be solved
by two. They need only kindness,
sympathy, a reserve Of help in emer-
gencies and a free open field all the
time. There is no justification for Cos
sip, criticism, complaint, condemnation
and incendiary meddling by members
Of the family. These things should be
put on the list of unnecessary luxuries
in the home and gently, firmly, definite
ly cut off.
We may sometimes be privileged to
help others to live their lives it is ar
rogant assumption for us to attempt to
live their lives for them. We are told
that we should not bury our talents,
but there is one talent-that of spe-
cial aptness for impertinent manage
ment Of the affairs Of others-that we
should carefully wrap In a napkin and
on some dark night, quietly bury for
ever.
1t is in the first years Of married
life that foreign interference Is most
u JlhS anu anu IL llllo vel
time when it Is most conspicuous and
dominant. No need for the family to
remind the wife that the husband is
not eighteen karat, that he will never
make fortune, that they fear greatly
and then let their fear expand into a
long catalogue Of detail that fades
away into the dim perspective of the
unspoken. After the goods are bought
and sent home and cannot be returned,
what is the use of discouraging the
purchaser?
The wife may think she has the fin
est little home in the worldi every
thing seems beautiful to her and she
has even pride in the array of cooking
utensils, dazzling and new in aluminium
and tin, and the dishes ranged care
fully on the pantry shelves. She often
stands at the door and smiles as she
looks into get the general effect at
glance. When the family makes q
tour of inspection, her indiscreet sis.
ter may say, "Oh, what a mite of a
kitchen. You can only wash the small
dishes like cups and saucers in little
| box like this" 1t had never seemed
small to her, none of the rooms seemed
small; they held so much love and
hope and happiness that the size die
not count; but now her heart sinks
and the Joy note seems gone and {
cloud comes over it all and she begins
to compare her home with that of some
friend and it suffers. She thinks Of
all the other deficiencies pointed on
by the visiting inspectors. She tries
to be brave so she will be smiling
when he comes home but it is hard tt
keep back the tears.
When her husbands sister tells he
in confidence, "just to put you on you
guard so you will know how to handl,
to her as a surprise and grief, for i
does not seem possible he could eve
speak q cross word. When she hears
still in confidence, about the "girl h
was so much in love with two year
ago and was going to marry" she feel
twinges of vague jealousy and sh
wants to be alone.
lie too may suffer from the earl
stages of family interference If hi
mother begins her maternal vlvlsec
ton of his wife. She doubts If sh
will prove good housekeeper, but 40
course we have to hope for the best.
Soon the family may begin q can
paign of education on how she shout
manage him. She hears with irritauo
the words: "You surely won't let hiI
smoke In the parlOrl You know yo
can never get the odor out of the cui
tains and that cartridge paper drink
In smoke like plotting paper absorb
ink" If she weakly assents they IL
crease the dose; II she rebels the
think she is overconfdent and settin
her right becomes more than q plea;
ure-it Is a duty. "Never permit hir
to be five minutes late at dinner. Jus
assert your independence" is the mex
shot from this peace-congress in til
interests of domestic war.
The husband may return home in tn
evening and find the wife nervous, Il