Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1917-11-05
BY DOROTHY DIX.
The Worlds Highest Paid Woman
Writer.

uNEOPLE often wonder" said the
- woman in gray, "why so many
married couples, who really love
each other and try to do their duty,
get along so inharmoniously together,
and particularly why inIaws may al
ways fight like cats and dogs. -
Il think that the wonder is all the
other way about, and that the anaE.
ing thing is that man and woman,
coming of different blood and tradi-
lions and brought up with different
ideas and tastes, adjust themselves to
each other as we'll as they do in tie
close confines of matrimony. And lis
a marvel that any woman can ever
come into another family without
causing friction. ~
Its one of natures grim little
jokes that, while our opposites at.
tract US before marriage, our oppo-
sites repel us after marriage. We fall
in love with man or woman because
he or she is entirely different from
the kind of people to whom we are
accustomed, but after we are married
this very difference irritates US and
gets on our nerves. And it makes us
persona non grata, as the diplomats
say, to our in-laws. ....t -
1T might not make for the good OF
the race for each of us to marry our
double, so to speak, but it certainly
would make for peace and happiness
in the domestic circle. Also, it would
stop divorce and make matrimony one
glad sweet song, for, after all, the
people we really enjoy are not those
with whom we are in a perpetual
argument, but those who think as we
do from politics to pie, and who look
at life from the same point of visw
that we do. :,
But we don't marry our likes.
When a young fellow goes to pick cut
wife, instead of selecting girl of
his own circle, he hunts around and
finds one who differs in every respect
from his mother and sisters, who
really represents his ideal of woman
hood, and he marries this outlinder, |
pumps her down among his own folks |
and expects them to fall on each 9th
er's necks and for everybody to be
happy and congenial. 49,. .. 1
is it surprising that "a man a3d a |
woman, who see everything in the
world from a different angle, clash?
Or that women of different families,
with different ideas on every subject
under the sun, when suddenly thrown
into the intimacy of family life, jar on
each other? The wonder to me is
that the melting pot of matrimony |
turns out as good product as it does.
Take my own case, for. instance. !
come of reserved New England fam.
lily, where individuality and personal
liberty amounted almost to a fetish. |
From the time | can remember had
my own room, my own desk, my own
my own books, my own be-
longings. ... ....-
My privacy was sacred. My mother
would no more have thought of open.
ing one of my letters or rumaging
through my desk than she would have
taken such liberties with the Presi.l
dent of the United States. Nor did
she ever catechise me about where /
went or what l did. She welcomed
my condolences, but she would have
thought it beneath her dignity and
mine to try to find out anything that I
did not voluntarily tell her.
We'll, along comes John, a young
Lochinvar out of the West, big,
hearty, expansive, with not single |
reserve in his whole makeup. OF
course we fell in love with other be-
cause we were the different poles
of humanity, and We were married
and went West to live among his I
people.
His sisters received me with
open arms, and, what was to me,
shocking and vulgar curiosity. They |
asked me million intimate questions
that made me feel that l was being
put through a third degree, but which |
| now know was inspired by only a |
and affectionate interest in
me- They paved over nay trousseauI
and tried on my hats and gowns and |
even borrowed such of my finery as
suited their tastes.
Il cannot tell you with what repul.
sion this filled me. 1t made them
seem savages to me, and ! MORALLY
offended them by giving them the ]