davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01
ACCEPTED TT AS EVIDENCE

The following good one is told
at the expense Of a prominent
Fargo divine who told some
boys of the Bible lesson he was
to read in the morning. The boys
finding the place, glued together
the connecting pages. The next
morning the minister read on the
bottom Of the page, "When Noah
was 100 years old he took unto
himself a wife, who was'-turn-
ing the Page-"14O cubits long,
40 cubits wide, built Of gopher
wood and covered with pitch in
side and OUT
He was naturally puzzled at
this; he read it again, verified
it and then said: "My friends
this is the first time I ever saw
this in the bible but I accept it
as evidence Of the assertion that
we are fearfully and wonder
fully made"
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01
Us Talk Ii
Over

Well. dear sinner friends. this 10
The Fool Killer.
How does it set On your stomach7
II you like it, you can get more ut
headquarters.
The Fool Killer 10 not even Q forty
Neventh cousin TO any other paper ON
Earth.
Il stands In o class BY itself, and
III neld 40 % broad % the English
language.
pollar or halter.
You can put that down to start
With.
am the fellow that works at the
kump-handle on this pungent period
lcal Of thrilling thought. | print only
what ! write; ] write only what l
think: and I think what I doggon
please.
I own this entire establishment.
end Rockefeller isn't rich enough to
bay on share Of it.
Does that sound strange!
Well. bless your soul, | am o great
Zeal richer than old John.
never travelled any to speak OF, but
Z have read o great deal and have
ehunk some.
And then / started The Fool-ktll-
Ar Just to quiet my nerves and keep
the old press from getllng rusty.
From the seclusion of these wooded
Aills there will go forth each month
d bundle of literary dynamite that will
shake the rotten foundations of socie-
u and cause the Church Of Mammon
Z at least turn over In its sleep.
The Fool-Killer ig q monthly Mus
sard-plaster for the blood tolls OF So
Giety, Church and State.
It is sailed with wit, peppered with
humor and seasoned with sarcasm.
Every line cuts like Q whip, and
AEery word raises . blister.
Il you are q fool you had better not
subscribe for The Fool-Killer. II you
are wise you will. And &c that settles
b.
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01
NFATENENT.

OF the ownership, management, CIR
sulation, etc., required by the act OF
Aug. "a, 1912, of The Fool-Killer, pub
iished monthly at Boomer. N. c.. for
Oct, 1915.
Editor, James L. Pearson, Boomer,
n. G.
Managing Editor, James L. Pearson,
Boomer. n. G.
Eus. Mgr, James L. Pearson, Boomer.
n. G.
Publisher, James L. Pearson Boomer.
~. G.
Sole Owner, James L. Pearson, Boom
or, N. G.
(signed) JAMES L. PEARSON. e
Pub. and Owner.
Swan to and subscribed before me-.
this tlfe 9th day Of October, 1916
W. r. HUBBARD. Notary Public,
ny Commission sxpEes &aR. &C.
1913,
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

). This new revolution in Mexico
is the first one in nearly a week.
They must be getting awfully
civilized down there.
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01
Thoughts From The Thinkograph.

SSS1AS
blows up. Look out for yours.
It is a wonder how a flea keeps
still long enough to raise a family.
Hot times cost cold cash, and
are not worth. it.
Don spurn half a loaf because
it is not whole.
Making hay while the sun
shines is more n 8 hours.
Lead horses do mighty little
pulling.
Gratitude is harder to find than
Villa.
The best down-hill puller is
booze.
Modern conveniences are some
times nuisances.
Bull beef with a French name
is still tough.
Make an occasional enemy, or
cut no ice.
Adam didn't have to pay fifty
cents for pressing pants.
The mule is useful, but he sim
ply cannot sing.
A pup has more curiosity than
an old dog.
Distress signals are not for con-
tinuous use.
Love and submarines know no
law.
It takes a certain amount of
genius to put up a successful bluff.
A smile is just like putting
money out at interest.
In looking for opportunity, do
not dodge good hard work.
Do something other than second
the motion.
Those who seek adventure are
often looking for trouble, and
generally find it.
Worry is harder work than
sure enough work.
Don't get up early in order to
do nothing.
Fiction is in demand, because
the truth hurts.
Conscience is the alarm clock
Of our minds, but it is not always
wound up.
When a woman dresses to make
the men look, she is mad If they
do and mad if they don't.
Fine language is not necessary
If you have something to say that
is worth hearing.
Girls, a husband who is a good
provider is better than one who
dances all the latest bunny-hugs.
A woman can get most any YER
dict she wants from a jury if she
only cries wet enough.
Work hard and deny yourself
while you are young, so that when
you are old you may have things
you cannot enjoy.
Mexico is noted for raising cof-
Zee, tobacco and trouble.
An eminent physician says tape
worm will cure tuberculosis. but
does not say what will cure tape
worm.
Our present day social aristo-
cracy has cut Christ out Of it's
creed because He was born in a
D stable and had no monov
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

A printer gives the following
toast: "Woman-the fairest of
Natures work. The edition is
large and no man should be with
out a copy
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

Wulle we are whipping GermanyE
A mans religion is the true
sort if he uses it in his business.
A diplomat is a man who re-
members a Woman's birthday and
forgets her age.
Life should be considered a
measure to be filed, and not a cup
to be drained.
The Stars and Stripes and the
cost Of living have been raised
in the Danish West Indies.
The stone that keeps rolling not
only gathers no moss, but loses all
it ever did have.
The rich get what the poor
produce-everything. And the
poor get what the rich produce
nothing.
I see that the Russians have
crossed the River IA. And I can't
help wondering where that can
BIB.
The man who can be trusted to
do right when nobody is looking
at him is the right kind Of a citi-
zen.
When they get the ocean bed
filled up level full with sunken
ships, reckon what will become Of
all the water?
By exposing one niger with
sufficient publicity you can con-
ceal six others in the same wood
pile.
After all the cussing that Brayn
has received-and part Of it has
been done by The Fool-Killer-he
is the level-headest Democrat in
America today.
It has cost this country $780,
100000 to try to get Villa-and
fail. What will it cost to whip
Germany? Don't all answer at
once.
In the past three years Wood
pile has been twice defeated by
Mexico, and now he is fool enough
to tackle Germany. Don't that
beat the devil?
Our big threats against Ger
many will be more likely to "get
Villa" than our expensive hunt
for him did. If he don't laugh
himself to death it will be a won
der.
Marie hit upon a problem the
other day more perplexing than
George It's apple dumpling. She
peeped in between the uncut
leaves Of a magazine and said
"Mother, how did they ever get
the printing in there?'
-
The thing that puzzles me SC
bad is this: Why does our gov
eminent go into such wild tan
trums about defending Tour''
rights on the high seas and in
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

toast: "Woman-the fairest Of
Natures work. The edition is
large and no man should be with
out a copy"
Woodpile demands that Europe
shall have "peace between
equals" but it seems that Ger
many is not yet convinced that
she has any equals.
The men go to church to please
the women; the women go to
church to please the preacher;
and [ reckon at least a few Of the
preachers go to church to please
the Lord.
You may have a string Of blue
blooded ancestors as long as a
comets tail, but if you have
never accomplished anything
yourself-well, I wouldn't blow
much it | were you.
II the war would only kill out
the COMPOUNDED blood-thirsty jim
goes and stop at that, I would say
let it come-the sooner the better.
But the pity of it is that they are
the very cusses who will escape
while the good people have to SUI
fer,
The fellow who wanted a law
passed to dry up the ocean so as
to stop submarine warfare vas at
least hitting right at the seat of
the trouble. But if they keep on
sinking ships awhile longer at the
present rate they will have the
ocean so full that the submarines
can't operate nohow.
Here is the kind Of an obituary
a Tennessee editor recently gave a
delinquent; "Crook Floods died
last night, owing this paper for
ten years. subscription. It is re-
ported that he said just before he
pegged out that he felt like he
was floating upward. No doubt
Of it. Crook has got so low down
that he has to slide up hill to get
into perdition."
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01
PARAGRAPHS.

And what will Villa be doing
while we are whipping Germany?
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

A mans religion is the true
sort if he uses it in his business.
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

Woodpile demands that Europe
shall have "peace between
equals,' but it seems that Ger
many is not yet convinced that
she has any equals.
The fool-killer., 1917-02-01

A diplomat is a man who, re-
members a woman's birthday and
forgets her age.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18

son, Mathewson and Alexander, and
was built like JEFF Tesreau of the
Giants. There was no limit to his en-
durance.
"Tim Keefe, who was with the Giants
back in 1888, was also a master. he
was among the first pitchers to perfect
what is known as change Of pace
"The best catcher ever saw was
Buck Ewing, who caught for the Giants
when they won the worlds champion
ship in 1888 and 1889. l have never to
this day seen his equal, but little Wall
ters of the New York Yankees, reminds
me of Ewing's throwing on bases.
"Ewing was quick thinker and a
natural-born leader. Bill Lange, who
played for me when had charge Of the
Chicago National league club, was in a
class by himself as an outfielder. He
was a better outfielder than Cobb or
Speaker and a phenomenal thrower.
and one year he stole LOG bases"
allow about Billy Sunday?" Cap was
asked.
"Billy is q better evangelist than q
ball player" was the reply. "He was
the fastest runner that ever drew on a
spiked shoe when we played on the
Chicago team, but he didn't always ex-
ercise the best judgment in stealing
bases. He was an excellent outfielder
and fair hitter and his influence
among the Chicago players was good"
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
LAUDs HIS oLD-T|MERs
Were Superior to Modern Crop Of
Players, Says Arson.
Amos Rusie, Buck Ewing and Bill
LANCE Best Men Game Has Ever
known-Tim keefe Af5o Was
Powerful Pitcher.

Cap Arson, one of the daddies OF
baseball, believes the old-time ball
players were superior to the modern
crop. "Good baseball was played 20
years before the game was taken In
hand by the National league in 1876,
said Arson. recently. But OF course,
in those days there were not so many
ball players to be had.
"Yet with the present wealth Of ma
terial in the big leagues there are COM
paratively few really good players. In
my opinion, Wagner and Lajole, though
they are growing old, possess more
natural skill than the younger stars Of
today with the possible exception of
Ty Cobb and iris Speaker
When asked if he had ever seen any
pitchers better than Walter Johnson,
Christy MathewsOn, Alexander and
other modern stars, Arson said, "Yes. u
He believes that Amos Rusie, who
pitched for the Giants from 1890 un'
til 1899, was the greatest Of them all.
"Rusie had as much speed as John
son, better control and the fastest
curve ball I ever saw" said Arson. HE
was physically the superior of John
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
STRONG MINOR LEAGUE CLUB
Umpire Frank Connolly Praises JaeN
Hendricks for Way He Has Built
Up Indian Team.

Frank Connolly, until recently an
umpire in the American association;
and good one, too said the other day
that the Indianapolis Indians, Jack
Hendricks entries in the A. A. pen.
nant race, are one of the strongest
minor league clubs ever got together.
Hendricks has built the club up
himself" said Connolly, land in three
years he has got a bunch Of play.
ers together who look like sure pen.
nant winners in the league this year.
Only one member of the club, Kelley.
an outfielder, remains Of the aggre,
CATION Hendricks inherited when he
went to the Indiana capital with
Jimmy McGill. !
'The pitching staff Of the indiana
apolis club is its strongest point. Fill
lingim, youngster, is one of the best
pitchers Eve seen in many day.
Gene Dale, Rex Dawson, Jake Northl
rup, Try Kantlehner and Clint Rogga
make up the staff.
1.-THE A. A. Is faster this year than
1t has ever been before. There are
more good clubs in the league, and
1t is too bad there must be trouble
between the league president and his
club owners. The way 1 look ut III
wrangling takes much Of the color OUT
Of a pennant race" a/
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18

231 Gust Lewis Bergquist Mckenzie
232 Howard T.. Crum, Mckenzie
233 Thomas j. Craven, Mckenzie
234 Roscoe Basil Coons, Mckenzie
235 Roscoe DeLapp Crum, Mckenzie
236 Aloysusis Carrick, Mckenzie
237 Samuel R. Day, Mckenzie
23S Gustave Oliver Dobbe, Mckenzie
239 William E Dusterhoff, Mckenzie
24O Arnold S. Ellingson, Mckenzie
241 Reuben j. Fairchild Mckenzie
PAP Vinton P. Heaton, Mex enzie
243 George A. Hughes, Mckenzie
244 Thomas T. Hughes, Mckenzie
245 Harry H. Heagg, Mckenzie
246 Melvin George Kinney, McKen.
BAT Jacob w. Kubichka, Mckenzie
2lS Harry NJ. I1anders, Mckenzie
249 Indolf Leslie, Mckenzie
$50 Ferdinand w. l.ambrecht, Nc
KenZie
PSI Adolph r. Lambrecht, Mckenzie
252 Lewis H. p. LeatherS. Mckenzie
253 George w. LANCER. Mckenzie
254 George E. Manley, Mckenzie
255 Horace N. Menefee, Mckenzie
256 George A. Maxwell, Mckenzie
257 George Olson, Mckenzie
25S Felix Orlando, Mckenzie
259 Fred l. Putnam, Mckenzie
2GO Christian Pleisch, Mckenzie
261 Frederick l.. Rice. Mckenzie
1852 Wilburt A. Rodgers. McKenz
2G3 Wladiscof Savalich, Mckenzie
264 Jacob Veenstra, Mckenzie
265 Clifford NJ Whitney, Mckenzie
2GG Lloyd M. Wildfang, Mckenzie
267 Marcus d. Agnew. Menoken
26S Alva Virgie Anderson, Menoken
269 Lawrence John Agnew. MenOkel
27G William RyrAllison, Menoken
271 Myron Lee Baker, Menoken
272 Billie Bridges, Menoken
273 Nick Boulos, Menoken
274 Homer C. Craven, Menoken
275 Clifford S. Craven, Menoken
PIG Bernard 0. Duray, Menoken
277 Henry G. Ebeling, Menollen
27S Edward Ebeling, Menoken
279 George F. Groth, Menoken
ESQ Mick Gilikas, MenOken
2S1 Artist Gastros, Menoken
2S2 Paul Holmes, Menoken
2S3 Tracy D. Harris. Menoken
2S4 Clyde Harris, Menoken
2S3 Peter P. Jones, MenOken
2SG Sam KastrasnOs, Menoken
'2S7 Edward A" Klipstein, Menoken
2SS Harry Koulouris, Menoken
2S9 Gilruth H. feathers, MenOken
900 Emil Lere, Menoken
291 William Scott Meth, Bismarck
292 Harold Ben Olson, Menoken
293 David Anton Olson, MenOken
294 Floyd L. Owen, Menoken
295 Spheres Paulos. MenOken
296 Arthur Harry Roland, Menoken
297 Charles J. Roberts, Menoken
29S Harry Romanos, Menoken
299 Tom Renos, Menoken
300 Mike Siladi, Menoken
301 Harvey Spanberg, Menoken
1902 Glenn Vern Skinner, Menoken
?03 Simon Schaumburg .Jr., Menoker
3O4 Harold Alfred Welch, Menoken
3O5 Lawrence f. Wood, Menoken
306 Adrain Asbrdge. Bismarck
~ 307 Fred Berg, Bismarck
(To be continued.)
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18

York at $4,000, Big Ed got another pal
and battery mate in Ray Heating.
Sweeney taught Heating the emery ball
trick. The secret was too good for
Heating to keep all to himself. They
do say Ray told every pitcher he met.
1t Wasn't a secret at all very long, and
the first victim exposed was none other
than Heating himself. Eddie Collins
had Heating unmasked before Sat-
urday crowd at the Polo grounds.
The emery ball is barred in the ma
jor leagues. Anyone using it will be
subjected to severe discipline. Alert
as all ball players are, no trace Of the
evil has been disclosed. 1t does seem
in these days Of slow games that the
players are allowed too great leeway
in looking for the emery ball. They
often try to alibi themselves with just
such tricks as these.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
LIST Of REC|STRANTS~ FOR S[[ECTY[[ ORAE
PREPARED FOR iBURLE|CH COUNTY ANNOUNCED
TODAY INFORMATION BULLETINS TELL WHAT TO Do

The task of preparing the list Of.
registrants and numbering them seri-
ally has been completed by the Bur-
leigh county sheriff's Office, announc-
ed Sheriff John p French today.
One list has been mailed to Provost
Marshal General E. II. Crowder at
Washington, one list has been turned
over to the local exemption board, an
other is posted at the county court
house and one has been given to the
press for. publication.
The names are arranged alphabet
ically and by. precincts. TO find his
name registrant first locates the
precinct in which he registered and
then finds his name listed in alpha
betical order. .a....
The sheriffs Office has received it's
instructions, as well as copies of a
bulletin of information for persons
registered. These bulletins tell in de-
and gives instructions as to how to
proceed when the registrant is called
for examination, tells how to file
claims for exemptions and how the
registrant will be notified when he
has been selected for military serv-
ice. It. is expected that one Of the
bulletins will be mailed to each regis
trant. The sheriff's instructions COW
er many pages, that no information
may be lacking.
Burleigh county will furnish 1911
men for Uncle Sans selective service
army, according to the net quota
worked out today by Charles Leiss-
man of the adjutant generals Office.
Burleigh's gross quota is 209, and the
county is given credits for IS men
who have enlisted in some branch of
the service since April 2.
Gross quotas for other counties as
far as Mr.. Lessman had progressed
at 3 o'clock this afternoon are:
Adams, So; Barnes, 231; Benson,
l42; Billings, 80; Bottineau, 173; Bow
man, 81; Burke, 3d.. Burleigh, 209;
Cass, $50; Cavalier, ia.
From each of these gross quotas
credits will be taken to arrive at the
net number of men to be selected. The
total number of credits for the state,
as announced yesterday, is 2,l18.
The serial list for Burleigh county
follows, in part:
Lloyd c. Bandle, Braddock
2 Harold j. BroWnawell, Braddock
3 Arthur w. Feltheim, Braddock
4 Rueben w. Feltheim, Braddock
5 Alfred l.. Johnson, BraddOck
6 Clarence A. Johnson, Motif
Z Nels T. Johanson, Chicago, ILL.,,
1919 st, Louis
s Mike Plutsch, BraddOck
: 9 Nels A. Thompson, Braddock
10 Burns Bailey, Motif
II John A.rBenz, Motif Il e.
~ William C. Benz, Motif @
13 Jessie r. Carpenter, Motif -E
IA George F. Durfee, Motif
Is Ole Eggen, Motif e.
16 Edward DeHaan, Motif
II George Davis, Motif 81 -..4~
10 Charles F. Haust, MOffit Ii
10 Peter Van Hees,s Motif $500 EeE5y
20 John Homer, Moffit ,a
FL Wallace r. Johnson, Motif
% Jeppe T. JUL, Motif ..s
% Viggo Jensen, Moftit
"a Lloyd w. Kendall, Motif E.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
DRAFT PLANS BEING
RUSHED TO COMPLETION
CONTINUED from page one)'

CONTINUED from page one)
many officials believe the drafting OF
aliens, would be violation of tha
principles of international law.
Plan Worked Out.
Although complete reports from
seven states were still lacking today,
Provost Marshal General Crowder be-
gan final preparations for the nation
al lottery, which will determine the
order in which ten million registered
men will come forward for military
service.
The plan for the drafting has been
worked out in detail and approved by
Secretary Baker. 1t will be carefully
explained to press representatives be.
fore it is given out for publication.
The machinery for the lottery has
been arranged, and the only points
undecided are the exact location in
Washington where the drawing will
take place and the date. 1t was sug-
gested today that committee room
at the capitol be used. There are
many questions, such as wire facili-
ties, which must be considered, and
it is probable that General Crowder
and the correspondents will reach an
agreement on this point. The govern
ment will be ready for the drawing as
soon as the last state has reported its
work complete. If the last telegram
comes in the morning, the drawing
can be held the same day. II it comes
at night, it is probable the drawing
will take place the following day.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
.HENNEP|N BREWERY
IS IN RECE|YERSH|P
As DRY Law RESULT

Minneapolis, Mimi, July 18.-The
Hennepin Brewing company is today
in the hands of a receiver, stating
that it finds itself in financial difficult
ties following the recent extensive
spread Of prohibition in the northwest
and the restriction of liquor selling in
Minnesota.
District Judge c. S. Jelley late yes.
terday named Victor A. Johnson as re.
ceiver. Mr.. Johnson Immediately fur
nished $4,000 bond and commenced
arrangements to continue the opera
ton of the company's plant as a going
concern. The receivership was petit
toned for by three creditors of the
company. the company simultane ously
filing an answer asserting to the step.
See BergesOn's adv.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
RUSSELL FORD QUITS
Inventor Of Emery Ball Cannot
Get Into Condition.
Former New York Yankee Was Sup,
posed to Be SpitbaII Artist, But He
Never Used It-sweeney Gave
Secret Away.

Russell Ford, former major league
pitcher, announced the other day that
he had quit organized baseball because
he "could not get into form" He will
become draughtsman, his former EN-
ployment. % z
Ford originated the emery ball,
which has since been legislated from
the game.
The delivery was SO called because
emery paper was used to roughen part
of the surface.
The rough part, of course, height
ened the effect Of air friction so that
with practice clever pitcher could
make the ball break in all sorts Of
freakish ways.
Ford, for instance, supposedly spit
ball pitcher, never used a splitter. 1t
was the emery ball, instead, which at
will he could break in either direction.
When Ford jumped to the Buffalo
club of the Federal league and
Sweeney was induced to stay In New
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
RAPID RISE OF PUG GRIFFIN
LincoIn's Sensational First Stacker
Has Been Picked Up by Phila.
deIphia Athletics.

The rise of Pug Griffin, Lincoln's
sensational first sacker, Is one OF the
most remarkable in baseball. He was
picked up off the lots to start the sea-
son when Ray Schmandt was injured
in the last practice game prior to OPEN
ing the season. He started with a
rush and kept it up so that Schmandt
never got a chance to get back on the
bag. Now It is announced that Grimm
has been sold to Connie Mack. He Il
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18

Larry Chappelle would save money
If he purchased mileage book. he
makes so many trips between the mi
nors and the majors.
The White Sox are getting some
good pitching and winning quite reg
ularly. Faber, Scott and Cicotte have
all shown winning form.
The Three-I league. which voted to
adopt the double-umpire system, will
have to get along with one to the game,
according to President Tearney.
The Boston braves got inside the
player limit by releasing Catcher Ar.
thur Rico to Springfield of the Eastern
league under an.op:ion, of recall.
The Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, N.D.) 1916-current, 1917-07-18
It
/ always
keep:
aleu-
bottles
inthe
house
green and not finished fielder, but
he has murdered Western league pitch
ing from the day he broke In.
MISTAKE MADE BY MITcHELC
Seems to Have Erred In Judgment
When He Let Catcher Bill Fischer
Go to Pirates.

Fred Mitchell is great manager, no
doubt, but he seems to have made
mistake when he let Catcher Bill
Fischer 60 to the Pirates. The Ger.
man nobleman is putting up wonder.
full game for Callahan's crew. Chicago
is said to have let him SO because it
hail too many left-handed hitters, but
R:;;i hits both kinds Of pitching with
abandon. ,..4 .l4 .-.-..---s