davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

After taking trip in a tank and
going over the tank stable and
proving grounds where the un-
calmly mechanical beasts have been
performing for our benefit, 1 am able
to answer a question which has puz-
zled so many newspapers at home
The question is. why are the
tanks always written about in the
press dispatches as though the
whole subject was chiefly humorous.
and the tanks themselves nothing
but great gawky jokes?"
The answer is that a tank do
ing stunts proves to be in fact most
eXcruciatingly funny.
FcatS Beyond Belief
With numbering, crashing aplomb
it does things which you simply
don't believe, even while the ludi-
crous performance is going on right
under YOUR very eyes.
When we arrived at this particular
tankodrome, number of the crea-
lures were paving the ground in the
center of a field, apparently eager to
begin the show.
The whole thing was unreal, bit
of Jules Verne, a Brobdignagian
horse show. Near the field sheds
and shops housed tanks in various
stages of construction and repair. In
one corner of the field number OF
the uncouth beasts had apparently
been let out to Craze.
! climbing aboard one which was
ready in the center of the field to
be put through it's PAGES, 1 found
an interior as neat and shipshape as
an ocean liners.
Smooth, Rapid Start
IT was clean and polished, its
walls painted white, and there was
even mating CARPET on the small
bits of floor space not preempted by
intricate machinery
Doesn't stay that way very long
when she's in action" said one of
the crew 1--WE are soon simnly liv-
! ing in mud. Mud works all through
her insides, in masses"
| AS smoothly as a. ship sliding out
| of port, the tank got under way
travelling considerably faster thar
! the passengers had expected pos.
sible.
When proceeding with portfolios
and doorways open, the interior i:
well ventilated, and the engines over
which two of the crew are contin.
ually tinkering. do not seem to be
raising any very deafening din.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
SCARCITY OF SUGAR

The Brunswick Volksfreund quotes
the Magdeburg Zentralblatt fur die
Zuckerindustrie for the following ac-
count of the German suSar-beet
crop:
Some daily papers have been
publishing a report, emanating from
a Berlin news agency, to the effect
that the strikingly good condition of
the beets will compensate to sub
stantial degree for the diminished
production caused by u decrease in
cultivation This is an exaggerated
statement which awakens hopes i'm
possible of fultillment Even with
a full crop the production could
amount at most to S4,0O0,O0O ctr.
Chundredweight) of raw value, while
i'm the last years of peace over 90,
100000 ctr. were produced. All
means must be employed to bring
the beet cultivation up to the peace
time level; until this is achieved the
sugar shortage will remain, for the
more or less good harvest results can
make very little difference"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
PUMPKINLEss PUMPKIN PIE

~ ONE wretch, very wisely un-
named in the dispatches from
~ Washington, has devised a
pumpkinless pumpkin pie, and ad-
vises Americans to eat it as a pa
triotic duty, thereby saving count
eggless omlets, and creamless milk,
and meatless mince meat, and wheat
less bread, and butterless butter, and
tomatoless catsup, and coffeeless cof-
fee because we believed the exigen-
cies of the war crisis demanded
some sacrifice - but pumpkinless
pumpkin pie! Who is to benefit from
that, pray? What are we going to
do with the pumpkins we don't put
into the pies? Feed 'em to COWS
Not at our house!
Cur friend from Washington would
substitute cornmeal for pumpkin III
the pie, and, we suggest, why not
let the COW have the cornmeal, which
she prefers, and let us have the
pumpkin, which we prefer? May
be we've got this conservation idea
all wrong, but our notion is that con.
servation of foodstuffs at this time
may be defined as using on oul
tables the cheapest forms of pro
visions that cannot be shipped
abroad, and If pumpkin doesn'
come into that class we don't know
what does.
Besides, we have a sneaking fond
ness for sinking our face deep int
quarter of inch-deep pumpkin
custard from which no effort hai
been made to extract the pumpkin
We suspect we are not alone in oul
criminal intent to violate the pump
kin section of the conservation regu
lations come Thanksgiving Day,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
FLOWING BY NIGHT

"HERE is nothing very funny
about Secretary of Agriculture
Charles e. Pattons suggestion
that farmers either club together
and buy farm tractors or else ar
range with some one to buy a tractor
and work it twenty-four hours next
spring and summer to get the fields
plowed and to keep them cultivated
1t has been demonstrated that an
Army truck can run twenty four
hours in crossing Pennsylvania. and
the experience of many a taxicab
has been that it .as fresh in the cold.
gray dawn as in the dewy eve And
neither is the idea of running a
threshing machine at II o'clock at
night to finish UP the wheat at a
barn so that schedule can be kept
at the next farm anything unusual.
Many a man in the country gets up
around 3 o'clock to get the cans to
the station for the morning milk
train.
Just because the idea that farmers
90 to bed with the roosters survives
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
WELL KNOWN PEOPLE

George f. Fonda, Bethlehem
Steel safety expert, who spoke here
last week, has been elected president
of the Lehigh Valley Safety Council.
Il. S. Cairns. who has been in
charge of the electric lines in Manila.
will become head of the Eastern
Pennsylvania trolley system in
Schuylllill county.
DIR. John G. Wilson. widely
known Methodist clergyman and
brother of Director w. ii. Wilson,
of Philadelphia, was seriously hurt
in an accident in Philadelphia.
Major Adam Carver. long iden-
titled with the National Guard in
York, will head the York unit of
the volunteer police.
Admiral +. X. Harris, who will
have charge of shipbuilding, was
formerly in command at League
Island.
Horace A. Beale. Parkesburg
ironmaster. is head of the committee
to look after welfare of Chester
county soldiers.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
PRESIDENT TENER

"O the suggestion that the Amer.
lean League of Baseball Clubs
pool players and receipts next
year so as evenly to distribute
strength and resources. has brought
this characteristic reply from Pres
ident John X. Tener:
1t is not in harmony with the
spirit of baseball. / do not believe
that the American League intends
taking any such action. l am
quite sure that the National
League club owners would not
even consider such a move. In
the first place, the satisfactory
placing of the star players would
be a difficult problem to decide; in
fact. it seems that 1t would be i'm
possible to accomplish in 1t way
which would be satisfactory to all
clubs.
This is just what might have been
expected of the former Governor.
Those who are acquainted with him
know that he would not for a mo-
ment countenance anything that
would reduce baseball from the
sportsmanlike game it is to purely
grabbing standard. It's in
line with his swift jab at the propo-
sition of exemption for ball players
from military service.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
THE GREAT ADVANCE

In my heart is the SOUND oil drums
And the sweep of the bugles call
The day Of the Great Adventure
And the tramp of feet is falling,
falling,
Ominous falling, everywhere,
BY street and lane, by field and
To answer the Voice appealing!
One by one they have put down
The tool, the pen and the racquet;
One by one they have donned the
brown
And the blue, the knapsack and
With a smile for the friend of hap
pier day,
With a kiss for the love that would
bid them stay
They are off by the train and
packet.
What fate, what star, what sun,
What field,
What sea shall know their daring ?
Shall the battle reek or the dead
calm yield
Their wreaths that are prepar-
ing ?
Shall they merely stand and wait the
call?
Shall they hear it, rush and slay and
What matter their swords are
barring!
We stand in the crowds that see
them go
We who are old and weak, un-
ready;
We see the red blood destined to
flow
Flushing their cheeks, as with
footsteps steady
With tramp and a tramp, they file
along,
Our brave, our true, our young, our
strong
And the fever burns us fierce. and
heady.
With God. then forth, by sea and
land,
To yonr Adventure beyond story.
No Argonaut, no Crusader band
Ere passed with such exceeding
gloryl
Though ye seek fields both strange
and far,
! Ye are at home where heroes arei
Such is the prayer we send YOU
| star
We who are weak and old and
hoary.
THOMAS WALSH.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
WE'LL NORTH. PROBING

TT ARRISBURG. among munich
II palities which have expended
thousands of dollars in the last
few years for the purchase of motor
fire apparatus. extension of water
mains and appliances for more
speedy and effective fighting of
flames, will take considerable in
terest in the inquiry which State In
surance Commissioner Charles A.
Amber says he will Immediately
inaugurate into the jump in fire
insurance rates in a large section or
PENNSYLVANIA. While the advance in
rates was in some communities, as
in Harrisburg. offset to certain ex-
tent by reduction of penalties be-
cause of improvement of fire fight
ing apparatus, there are some people
who would like to know the 1ustl-
fication for the increase and what
plane of efficiency or preparation the
fire underwriters consider as their
basis for calculation of risks and
penalties.
1t is not so long since we heard
a good bit about the pink slip" in
Harrisburg. Fire insurance rates
seem to have been steadily advanc-
ing. Assurance was given that when
this city improved its fire service
as suggested by a committee of OBJ
servers, who one year blew up fire
engine and refused TO pay the bill
for the damage, that rates would
come down. Instead, we have had
advances and penalties and when 1t
is ciphered down we are no better
off than we were some years ago, in
spite of putting a mortgage on the
city to buy motor fire apparatus, be-
cause that's what bond issues mean.
For Mr.. Amber it will be a great
opportunity, provided the legal de-
partment of the State government
rules that he has the power to find
out why the rates were advanced
The State Insurance Department has
been courageously administered
against life insurance crooks in the
last half dozen years. This is the
day of regulation in many lines
Hence any alleged attempt to take
unreasonable advantage of property
owners on the specious plea of losses
in other parts of the land, higher
overhead charges and necessity fol
maintaining dividends and surplus
at say sixteen per cent, may be
rightfully probed. Railroads, water
and electric companies are being
brought to book by the Public Serv.
Ice Commission, which has kept its
rate-regulating machinery we'll pol
ished up.
There should be some authority ii
the laws of Pennsylvania to enable
the Insurance Commissioner to cal
for a show down of reasons fol
boosting fire insurance. In this day
of higher prices for everything ant
our patriotic obligation to hay Lib
erty bonds, and to contribAte to the
activities to make our DSen fit tt
fight and to look after those left be
hind, we are rather sensitive to fur
ther calls upon our purses unles!
justified by conditions under which
enterprises just as important as fire
Insurance companies are now oper
ating in Pennsylvania.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
Less Barley For Brewing

The Hamburger FTuIII,; -. ,,;-st - :. g
ports that, owing to the average poor
results of the barley harvest, it is in
tended to assign to breweries only
about 10000 to 10000 tons of barley
monthly. so that the barley destined
for brewing purposes will be dispos-
ed of in about four to six months.
Omitting Bavaria. the peace-time
consumption of German breweries
amounts to about 1.2 million tons
of barley. The assignment in the
new harvest year would, therefore,
amount to not more than "a per
cent. of the time consump-
ton.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
LABOR NOTES


Ohio labor unions have a member
ship of 100000.
One French munitions factory en-
ploys 5000 women.
There are $4,000 Mexican miners
in Arizona.
Vancouver (B. C.) 'teamsters de-
mand nine-hour day.
Ohio unions will work for a week.
ly pay day law.
Union electricians in VConaevtiiout
have formed a state body. A
Pueblo. Col, $4,000 labor temple
is the only one in the state.
Railroad stenographers have a
membership of over 10000.
Every city official in Bicknell, Ind.
is union man.
Railway clerks have added 1000
members in the past four months.
North Yakima, Wash. Labor
Council issued a weekly labor paper.
Boxers at Vancouver, b. c., have
declared for daylight work.
Denver, Col, tailors have increased
wages % per cent.
Labor unions at Fargo, N. D., are
fighting private employment agencies
A strike of 1000 clerks on the Nor
thern Pacific was averted by the
granting of an eight-hour day and
an increase in wages.
Musicians at Halifax, N. S., have
organized.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
IN THE GLOAMING

Roaming
In the cleaning
May suit a romantic young clerk.
But when mans married
And possibly harried
He'd better
Go straight home
From work.
Springfield Leader.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 20. 1917

Peace Of mind must come in its
Ot0n time, as the tOdterS settle them
SelUeS into cletrneSS, as 10eH as
quietneSS; you can no more filter
your mind into purity than YOu can
compress it into cdlmneSS; yOu must
Eeep it pure if you tCould hare ii
pure, and thriOtC no stones into it ii
you 1Could haze it Quiet.-RCsKIN
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
GREAT MYSTERY

Why the patriotic senator from
Wisconsin had to die. instead of the
one who wouldn't have been missed.
is one of those things that no fellow
can find out.-Albany Journal.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
SOMETHING ROTTEN

The Nobel literary prize this year
has been divided between M. Pontop-
pidan, novelist, and M. Gjellerup,
both Danes. Evidently there is
something fine in Denmark, also
Detroit Free Press
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
HINT FOR QUICK ACTION

When horse stealing in the West
was young industry they used to
shoot horse thieves on sight. Well
auto stealing is still a young indus
Times-S Star.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

City Commissioner Gross is making
headway in the filling out of the river
embankment between Hamilton and
Kelker streets. This is protective
work ana represents economical ad-
ministratlon-
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
DO YOU KNOW
That Harrisburg is rapidly
forging to the front as central
point of the provision trade?
HISTORIC HARRISRIIRC

John Harris armed over forty men
at the outbreak of the French and
Indian war at his own expense and
stationed them along the river to
protect travellers.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
NO SHOE FOR WOMEN.

NO SHOE FUR WOMEN,
Customer-Why do you call that
the dumb shoe?
Salesman-Because 1t is made
without tongue
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26
SAVING FOODSTUFFS
NE EMBERs of the Harrisburg
M Chamber of Commerce yes
terday pledged themselves to

n n EMBERS OF the Harrisburg
M Chamber of Commerce yes
terday pledged themselves to
save each week
One pound of -four.
Seven ounces of meat.
Seven ounces of fat
Seven ounces Vi susar.
If every one of us does that our
Allies across the seas will have
enough to eat and we will help win
the war by keeping them in condi-
ton to fight.
That these shortages are not
imaginary is clearly shown by the
advertisements of various of the big
provision firms of the country ad-
vising the consumers to conserve.
Typical of these is the Franklin Re-
fining Company, which is giving
wide publicity to such propaganda
as this:
Our Government has asked you
to use sugar sparingly. We be-
lieVe that the people of this coun-
try will be glad to do their part
to conserve the sugar supply when
they know the facts.
These facts are as follows:
More than two-thirds of the
source of Europe's sugar supply
is within the present battle lines.
This has resulted in greatly re-
ducing the production of sugar in
Europe.
England and France and other
countries have been forced to go
for sugar to Cuba.
Ordinarily, nearly all of the
Cuban raw sugar comes to the
United States and is refined here.
chiefly for home use. This is not
In view of the exceptional
world demand for sugar there is
no surplus, and barely enough to
tide us over until the new crop
England and Atlantic Coast
States should use sugar sparing-
ly. No one should hoard or waste
it,
This company has no surplus
sugar to sell. 1t is working with
the Government to conserve the
supply, and to take care of the
Allies so far as possible.
Do not pay an increased retail
price.
Ordinarily such companies as the
Franklin are trying to create a mar.
ket for their goods. Increased sale.
mean increased profits, and de
creased sales mean decreased profits
Consequently, when the big grocery
manufacturers and merchants spenc
their money in order to depresl
their own markets the supply mus
| he indeed limited and conserva tioI
a necessity.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

RULING PASSION.

Floor Walker-Hurry out, Madam.
The stores aflre.
Mrs. Bargain-Oh. is it? Then I'll
Just wait for the fire sale.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Published evenings except Sunday by
THE TELEGHAPH PRINTING c.,
Telegraph Building, Federal Square.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

E. ]. .STACKPOLE,P Pres't s. EditoT-in-C Chfef
r. r. OYSTER. Business Manager.
GUS M. STEINMETZ, Managing Editor.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Labor unions at Fargo, N. D., are
fighting private employment agencies.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Declaring that he is fully con-
vinced that he received enough votes
legally cast to elect him to city coun-
Gil, William Ward. Jr., former mayor
of Chester. who was here a couple of
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

A strike of 1000 clerks on the Nor
thern Pacific was averted by the
granting of an eight-hour day and
an increase in wages.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26


Mr.. Jones election as president of
the Legislative Correspondents AS
sociation. composed of the newspa-
permen from all over the state who
come here to write the stories of the
General Assembly, was realization of
an ambition of years. Walter ].
Christy, of the Pittsburgh Gazette
Times, now the only surviving MEM
Der of the group of brilliant news
papermen who formed that organi-
zation a quarter of a century ago.
and others active in the Capitol Hill
work, quietly arranged the election
of Mr.. Jones, who was also a char
ter member. Lee Solomon. secretary
of the State Compensation Board,
then with the Philadelphia Record,
got Mr.. Jones consent to use his
name and with Mr.. Christy accumu-
lated enough votes to elect. Then
they said there was nothing doing.
Mr.. Jones was elected unanimously,
after speech by George j. Brennan.
of the Philadelphia inquirer, one of
the founders of the Glover Club. At
the dinners of the Muzzle Club, the
dining club of this
city. Mr.. Jones always passed the
big Stuart silver loving cup and
introduced each diner in his own
way. He was president for three
years.
Mr.. Jones filled quite a place in
Pennsylvania journalism and will be
much missed at "the Harrisburg end
of the wire" as telegraphers say.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Musicians at Halifax, N. S., have
organized.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Denver, Col, tailors have increased
wages 15 per cent.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Ohio labor unions have a member
ship of 100000.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

The Philadelphia Inquirer says
of the dismissal of Road Superinten-
dent Thomas r. Mcdowell in Ches-
ter county: THE incident illustrates
the evident determination of the
Brumbaugh wing to oust all state
employees suspected of flirting with
the Penrose organization. The new
appointee is a prominent and sue
cessful farmer with strong indepen-
dent leanings, in the inner circles of
which he has been active for sew
eral years. The control of the state
highway patronage is a powerful
feature in rural counties that are
actively engaged in road construc-
tion as is this and most of the small
army of foremen, supervisors, in
spectors, etc, are men of consider
able local political influence"
Declaring that he is fully con-
vinced that he received enough votes
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-11-26

Boxers at Vancouver, B. c., ha
declared for daylight work.
The Dolores star., 1917-08-31

Houston, Tex, Aug. 27.-Though
Houston generally breathed distinct
relief that martial law will end and
that the rioting negroes Of the Twenty
fourth infantry are no longer in a po-
sition to cause further trouble, county
officials expressed resentment that
forty Of them indicted here for mur-
der. should nave been taken from their
authority.
"The fact that they were removed
to Columbus, N. M, does not mean
that we will not ultimately take hand
in their punishment" said District At
torney John H. Crocker. "In my opin-
ion the court martial which will be
held by the military authorities does
not abrogate the right to trial by the
civil authorities. Those who escape
punishment in the military court will
be prosecuted in the courts Of Harris
county"
The Dolores star., 1917-08-31
FRENCH ADVANCE At vERDuN.
italians Continue Crushing Drive
Through Austrian Lines, Gaining
New Plateau Points.

italians Continue Crushing Drive
Through Austrian Lines, Calming
New Plateau Points.
Rome. Aug. 2S.-Slowly but steadily
the Italians are breaking down the re-
sistance of the Austrians around
Monte Santa, and making their way
east toward the border OF upper Car
niola. The Austrians have brought up
fresh troops, but latest dispatches say
the Italians have broken through the
lines at many places in spite Of the
stubborn Resistance.
The French gained an advance Of
1000 yards and captured 1000 men in
an assault near Verdun Monday. The
German assaults on the Aisne front
also have been blocked by the French.
Trench raids seem to be the chief
operations ON the British front. al
though artillery duels are in progress
on various sectors.
Berlin reports the capture Of Rus
sian positions near Jacobstadt> be-
tween Riga and Dvinsk. but makes no
mention of the fight east of Riga.
In Rumania the so-Rumanians
are still holding their own, having re-
taken positions lost near Scoveia last
week.