Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1917-03-10
PARENTS MUST
EARN RESPECT
Have to Give Children Benefit
of Experience Without
Force
BY BEATRICE FAIRFAX

L wonder noW many boys and girls
to-day have the blessed feeling that
their very best friends are father and
mother!
Not every parent can give his chill
dren a heritage of wealth and social
standing. Children have not the right
to expect that-but the thing to which
! they have an absolute right is the feel
ing of friendly understanding.
Parents have to earn respect and
deserve confidence. In this practical
show me" age they do not get it
otherwise.
Life sweeps on very rapidly nova
days. The son of the uneducated i'm
migrant is the college professor of to-
morrow, and the daughter of the i'll
llterate scrubwoman is the great prima
donna of the future. Life would not
be worth much if each generation were
not producing individuals OF higher
type than those of the last generation.
The child is inferior to his parents
in just one thing-experience
Parents have to give children the
benefit of their experience without
forcing it upon them. The younger
generation is cropping toward knowl-
edge. You might tell baby one hun
dred times that fire burns, but for real
vivid knowledge on the subject moth
poor little blistered finger which fol-
lows tour of discovery right into the
| flame of q match. The older genera
ton can save the younger generation
great deal of actual experience of
how fire burns If it guides very clever
livery tactfully.
Each one of us is embarked in u
little boat of our own personality
which has to go down the stream of
life. The most loving parent in all the
world cannot get into his child's slliff
and show him how to guide it. The
parents who tie heavy ropes to the
boats of their childrens personality
and try to draw them upstream are
cruel, and they have no right to be
surprised when the children lean out
wilfully and cut the ropes.
The parents Who reach out with
their oars and try to push the chill
dren's barks into tiny havens seldom
succeed. The little boats drift into
ports they never wanted to make and,
resting discontentedly for time, drift
out again.
The successful parent is the one
who shows his children how to steer
themselves.
Suppose father finds that his
daughter is interested in boy whom
his mature judgment decides to be ut
terly unworthy. If he says to the
again." he arouses natural antagon-
ism. Instinctively the girl resents her
fathers criticism of her choice of
friends and feels that it is q criticism
of herself. Instinctively, too, her 10y
atty flames up in defense of the friend
whom she feels is not being given a
| fair chance.
Suppose, on the other hand tie
father sits down quietly with his
daughter and says: Helen, / don't
quite understand your liking for Joe
Brady. Perhaps I am doing the boy
an injustice. Will you tell me what
you see in him. Helen can do no
less than respond to this equal to equal
attitude on the part of her father, and
her sense of fairness makes her give
him a hearing when he tells her what
he does not like in Joe Brady. She
has no right to resent this attitude,
which really has been a compliment to
her. and she naturally tests Joe along
the line of her fathers objections to
him.
Perhaps she does hope to find errors
in her fathers judgment. but she feels
instinctively that he is fair and square
and that she too must be fair and
square and confess if Joe proves un-
worthy.
There is nothing undignified in talk
ing matters over quietly with your
childrE1. They are individuals with
tastes and desires. They have a right
to a hearing, and far from forfeiting
their respect if you give them fair
play,you win their absolute confidence
and esteem.
The parent who forbids without
explaining the reasons for his attitude
arouses ugly emotions. ranging from
stubborn antagonism to a sneaking de-
termination to do it anyhow. All forms
of tyranny in government have gone
out, and ruthless commands do not
appeal to the younger generation.
No whit of respect or dignity is sac
rificed by the mother or. father who
says quietly: "These are the reasons
why l disapprove of that course. and
know that when you understand
them you will agree with me-"