The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1917-01-11
SUNBEAMS

800 ~
~ has taken quite a
load off of my small three cor
nered mind-I always have won
dercd where Cain" and "Abel'
got their "house keepers, and
who was responsible for the first
"divorce suit" 1t seems Eve
wasn't Adams first sweetheart.
He had met Il blonde lady named
Lilly or Lilleth Il am not sure
about her family name). Any
way she and Adam didn't get
along not none "a-tall' and
Adam run her out of the truck
patch and told her not to come
back unless he "phoned for her.
Seems like she got a divorce (on
the grounds Of wife beating or be-
cause Adam refused to buy her a
fur coat and married again.
Hence Mrs. Cain and Mrs. Abel.
Then Adam was some sore" and
went to work on an old crib"
and made the right kind of wo-
man and named her Eve. I am
not sure that this is correct, but
as above stated | feel greatly re-
lieved in my head"
Let me see, we have the odor-
less onion, the puckerless persim-
mon, the thornless rose, and a
"brayless mule I suggested an
odorless skunk and now man
wants a "kicklcss mule. " Will
we ever be satisfied. Pretty soon
some foolish person will be want
ing something for nothing and
unless you watch EN- close they
will get it, too.
A man don't have to be an
"cditor" to get many of the
good things of life. DR.. Patter-
son butchered some hawgs' and
a beef last week and of course re-
membered Jim with some fresh
meat. If there were more big
hearted men like Doc there would
be fewer hungry grocerymen.
All | could say was thank you.
J. c. Berry, the tax gatherer
for New Home township, made
headquarters at Jim s place last
Thursday. j. c. says the delin-
quents will have to come to him
now as he has given them all a
chance and has called on most of
them.
notice that an "opcra star"
says that "oystsrs made her
gracefully slender well, by
go!ly, the last oysters | ate made
me feel about as slender as a
pork barrel and as graceful as
the bird called a bear and also
made me think ! wanted "hoss
Doctor Oh, yes, maybe l did
eat a dozen TOO many.
For goodness sake (and your
own sake too) get rid of that
crouch. A crouch is of no
earthly" use and you can't take
it to "hcaven' with you (they
don use them up thcre) and the
"othcr' place is full. So now is
the time and here is the place to
forget your troubles in helping
some one else to forget theirs and
the world needs sunny" folks
more than ever before. Try and
be sunny this year and see what
a different life it will be. Oh, it
will cost an effore yes? But try
it. Sunny folks tell me it pays.
Heaven deliver me from the
home where the best is always
saved till company" comes. Did
you ever try treating your family
like company" Who are so
good, so kind, so appreciative as
home folks. What does company
amount to when home folks are
gone. Don't be so foolish.
Soon the pos will sing Of the
flowers of spring and he'll think
down deep in his soul, that win
ter is past if no shadow is cast
when the ground hawg" comes
out of it's hole.
In Cuba tobacco is planted,
grown and harvested in 80 days,
and most of it is bought, sold,
chewed or smoked in about three
weeks in Peaceful Valley.
I spose this hard times and II.
c. of l.. talk has become habit,
and believe me it is a dad 'un."
No use "talkin' hard times.
Don't do any good. You might
as well try putting a blister on a
bald head to raise hair as to try
to improve conditions by settin"
round feeling blue. Get it out of
YOUR system. Be sunny, it may