The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-11-03
LIE 7 TIERS OF
TWO WOMEN
By ZOE BECKLEY.
Again From Kate Osway, Spinster, to
May Bond, Wife.
By ZOE BECKLEY.
New York, same old date,
except that it's past midnight.

May Bond, Wife.
New York, same old date,
except that it's past midnight.
May Dearest:
don't know what 1 was thinking of.
must have lost my senses temporar-
lily; certainly my sense of gratitude
to G. ]. For altho c. j. and have
quarreled fifty times in the last few
years, he is nevertheless the person
who means most to me in life. 1 am
half fiancee, half mother, to c. ].
cannot picture my existence with c.
]. permanently gone. 1 am not happy
with him. Nor would 1 be without
long now that 1 guess we belong to
each other He is not yet free to
marry, it 8 true. And I'm not sure
I'd marry him if I could.
The whole affair depresses and
smothers me. Yet | see no way out.
man would be to commit murder.
Two persons cannot build happiness
upon anotner's heartbreak!
1t all came over me when Paul
Danskoi besought me this evening to
marry him Immediately and go with
him on a trip he is make thru the
west. 1 wanted to say yes. Oh, May,
how 1 -longed to stop thinking and
worrying and let myself go. 1 felt
like shutting my eyes and 1eaping out
would happen.
But cold reason came. 1t always
comes and spoils things. The vision
of G. j. rose before me-his kindness,
his fire sensitiveness, his breeding, his
elegance, his talent for devotion, his
understanding of me. Yes, for all our
differences and clashes, his under
standing of mel And 1 felt a sudden
fear of this strange foreigner whom
scarcely know. For c. J. is of my
kind, and Paul Danskoi is not-he
Is of different country, with a strain
of a different race even, different
ideals, different viewpoints as to
everything.
And impulsively, Maize, told him
about c. ]. 1 told him everything
how 1 felt that was pledged forever
to him and that there was no way out.
Paul looked at me strangely mo-
ment, with narrowed eyes and lips
pressed to thin line. I thought it
was contempt. I expected him to
turn on his heel and walk out of the
room. For an instant 1 hoped he
would. I felt it would settle every
thing that was tormenting me; close
the gates of my prison forever and
spare me the pain of beating myself
further against them.
There is always" he said at last,
"a way out 1t takes courage some
times to find it. Have you no cour-
age, Kate?''
Not enough" I answered weakly.
Besides" 1 added. stiffening my
spine a little at his stab there are
other considerations. 1 mustn't mar
ry YOU"
What other considerations ?" he
interrupted, and could see he read
clear thru to the bottom of my mind.
''Ah, yes-I know" he laughed grim
ly race prejudice! You needn't re-
gard that as barrier, Kate. If
hadn't known from the first moment
I saw you that your mind was teach
able, that you were incapable of treas
uring prejudice founded upon ignor-
ance alone, I should never have
spoken to you. Leave that problem
to me, Kate. This other fellow-this
C. J.-is the only problem I recognize
as standing between you and me. Tell
me-look at me squarely-do you love
him ?"
May--May-I don't know what I
answered I was torn with doubt and
conscience; all at sea; unable to know
my own mind. I only know that 1
begged him to go; that pleaded with
him not to tempt me into happiness
1 had no right to, no chance Of
- And he went.
And I am alone and miserable and
unnerved and blind-groping in the
dark with nothing to guide me, not
even knowing what 1 want.