Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1917-11-04

ietl-, breakfast He haven't enough
Of punch tu swish lu H.t.U.. house
f} oat q the sugar bow. ~ Glu-
IeI we can whip The Hlr.I ar. fe d..
equator around ta, North Pole. That's
Oh, hlrd & folk wc are.
We have always been told shat o.d
Eff.l,ncy Bill tEe u.s' efficient m.s-
tahc-waker in the world la, th,
thumb print % every uaU .r fllr
country that he bias "a record OF the
number u sold Filings boz every
American mouth. where. when and
why every American was born ana
how many times ~ ha, ordered Ger
man fried instead ~ French fried po-
tlfors
These rumors began Go worry my
wife. Lueila. some time ago, and she
began seeking war spies. Then she
got ua doing ii A fellow gets a
lot of things hy marriage that way.
lu Two weeks 4 was worse than she
was IL was then that ! started ont
or ms wild career as an unofficial
JOS estifator.
one day 81 stranger came 10 our
house. went down in the basement
with "A lantern and copied lot of fir
urcs off the ga, meter. He acted 50
WysteriOusly that DOB. wife was Ger
tain he represented the kaiser and was
endcayoriHg 10 ascertain the exact
gas supply OF this country for the
purpose Of trausfusing such gas into
bombs.
They are using lot Of gas in
Europe now. YOU know she said.
Not as much as is being used IN
America" ! replied. hopefully The
visible supply in New York wouldn't
keep LaFOl.ettc going more than ten
minutes"
She didn't know. poor thing that
our regular gas man was laid up al
home with Eastritis-aud that he had
sent a substitute.
on the very next day a mysteriou.
stranger had come and had craWlct
under our house on his stomach an,
/ had examined the water pipe.
There" said my wife, they ar,
/ finding out how 20 poison the water
supply
She found another one at the cor
ncr drug store the next day and tW,
/ others followed her home.
When / left the house she said
IT there is weiners and sauerkrau
on the bill at lunch today be sure an,
order II, aLL don't order French en-
dive or English plum pudding Re
member the kaiser knows everything
that is going on in this country
Spies Under the Beds.
The efficiency Of the German sp
is nothing short Of marvellous.
There IS always liable 20 be a sp
under your bed here In New Yorb
Even IL il is a folding bed and yo
let Il down yourself before you jun
In for the night. there is liable TO b
a spy under 1t, just the same, waitin
10 hear whether you are going To sa
l.l 4
| You must be careful not 20 say any
thing favorable TO Uncle Sam, becaus
| the spies don't like IL.
| Well. | soaked up n hide fun G
this theory and then l started out {
| hunt spies When | began huntin
| them. | found one every three min
| utes. While other patriots were swat
ting flies, | was spotting spies. | neVe
: was good at figures. l have ncvo
even attempted to count the Fords, $
/ | will not attempt to say how man
spies | found the first day
| | had scarcely left my house whe
| / found the first one He was foi
| eigner, certainly and he was lyin
| flat on his stomach In the street. peer
| ing down into a manhole. The mar
hole led to an electric lighting coudu
and, so far as l knew. far down int
the earth. From his position, l wa
| certain he was trying 10 get some lr
side Information about the Unite
states Maybe he was investigator
| our internal affairs and was tryin