davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
"APRILE FOOL"
EDDYTORIUL

Being as Aprile 1st Cor in luther
wds., All Fools Day. falls on the
holy Sabbath this yr. which is to-
day, Bingville folks celebrated yes
terday (Satterday) as Aprile Fool
Day ruthern wait until Monday
which is termorrer.
Aprile Fool Day was quite a
sucksess in our midst according to
what we have heerd and quite a
number of our most respeckted cit
t1zens was made fools of during the
day by a few of OUR pracktikal
Jokers who aint got no respeckt for
age or ennythink else we mite say.
Yves Woodruff our expert hunter
& trapper foold Cy Hoskins tur-
rible and Cys Madden a wet hen
about it too. Erly yesterday morn
ing Yves he went to Cy and told
him that he had happend to be
down Snake Bend way on Friday
(which was the day before) and
had happend to see Malachi Wiki
ms and that Malachi had told Yves
to please tell Cy Hoskins when he
got back to Bingville that he de-
sired to borry $1,000 from him and
would give him mortgage on his
farm as security and also that he
needed the mummy so bad that he
would pay Cy 10 perct. intrust on
the $1,000 which as ennybuddy
who has emmy head for fggers kin
calkilate up would amt. to 500 per
annum which certingly is a hand
some rate of intrust.
Well, when Yves told ~ that
Cys eyes begin to sparke1 and he
started in to rub his hands in an
tlclpashion and thankd Yves kindly
for delivering the message and said
he would make rangements to get
down to Snake Bend before sunset
that day or bust fer fear Malachi
mite git outen the noshion of pay
ing stitch a big rate of intrust. Cy
said it was opportoonitty that he
couldn't afford to miss being as a
rule he diddent git moren Z or s
percent intrust on mortgages, altho
he allus got all he could squeeze
outen them as he held mortgages
aginst.
Everybody knows that Cy Hos
klns has made every cent he has in
the world by jest foreclosink NOR
cages on widders & orfans and
others who was at his mercy.
Everybody also knows that Cy
Floskins has the LIST doller he ever
ernt in this world and that he will
hang onto it like grim deth until he
passes into the next world. Cy is
SO stingy that he begrudges duck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
Personal Breefs

While cleaning up the Boogle offs
last wk we happend to come acrost
quite a number of old and anshient
coppees of the Bugle some of which
was dated as fur back as the War of
the Rebellyun which started in 1865
Being as the war in Yurrip was a 60
ing on at last accts which we heerd
the war news in these old coppees ort
to be very poplar & intrusting at this
partick1er time We don't charge emmy
more becuz these papers is stitch vally
bic old relicks-eatch copy is only the
reglar price of cts while they last
First come LIST served GET THE LAT
EST NEWS FROM THE 'FRONT.'
Miss Mile Underwood has returned
home after a deeliteful VISIT with
friends at the co seat where she says
she met some turrih1e high toned sos
siety people also some Mise yung men
who was very complimentary to her
and told her she was very bootiful.
Well. Milly would be rite purity if it
wassent for that wart on her nose
Dave White our poplar ard accom-
modating undertaken says this has been
a turrible hard winter on him in his
partickier line of bizness Dave saws
he cant remember winter in Bingvile
sinst he went into the undertaking biz
ness here 30 yrs ago when everybuddv
was SC doegoned helthy. Dave SAYS
several of our most respeckted citizens
was sick enuff at one time or another
to raise false hopes in his hart. but
somehow or luther they managed to
pull thru. and that whilst he likes TO
see everybody enjoy good helth it is
certingly fatal to his bizness. Dave
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31

and talked some of moovine away
from Bingville and to some other town
where there is more sickness.
LATE Henderson dropd into the Bugle
offs one day last wk and after fishing
around in his overcoat pocket for quite
spell he brung out two fine Baldwin
appels and laid EN- on our desk with
his compliments. They was as red and
plump and glossy as could be- Who
can beat this for Baldwin appels this
time of yr. LATE seems to have tur-
rible good sucksess in keeping his
appels loneern ennybuddy else. Why
don't others who have Baldwin appels
leave us a few Cor a peck so that we
can see and publish in the Bugle how
they compare with Seths.
Jim Hall while floating some logs
down Snake Crick tother day went to
lump acrost the crick on top of the
logs and his foot slpd and he went
in eileen over his head in icy worter
which was seven # deep if it was a
inchl Jim was good cal surprised
speshia11y when he went to come up he
hit his head a awful belt agin the under
side of log that made him see stars
and like to of RENDERED him unconshus
Jim managed to git ashore. but he was
soakin wet and had to quit work and
go home and change his clothes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
Country Correspondence
SLAB CITY

Jemima Peppers of Hickory Corners
has retd home after being the gest for
sevl days of Missus Sam Hanson. Je-
NINA was accompanied by awful cold
in her he'd which she ketched while
here
Jaspar Tarbell ariz before day tother
morning to git his stock fed afore
breakfast and while coming down stairs
in the dark his # slipd and he fell the
rest of the way spraininq his ankel very
painful Jap says he calkilates if that's
the reward he gifts for rising afore day
light he cakilates hell lay in bed until
dayite hereafter.
Arioch Perkins offers his farm for
sale this spring. 1t consists of 40 akers
of swamp land and stone. Arioch has
been trying to sell his farm for the past
10 yrs. and will probly keep on trying
to sell it for the next 10 yrs Emmy
buddy desiring to purchase farm of
SWAMP land and stone will please see
Arioch.
Hester Jones who was widderd yr.
ago and married Sim Hall after her
greet had subsidized six months later
don't pear to git along mulch better
with her second than she did with her
LIST. so roomer says.
Jake Romans would like to be in
formed how to git rid of rats in his
oats bin Ennybuddy havink had rats
in their oats bin kindly confer with
lake. VOX POPULI.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
Local Squiblets

There was very slim congregation
in church last Sunday morning owin'
to the almost impossibul condishion OF
the SITS. The mud and slush was over
shoe top deep in some places and not
moren knee deep in others. AS a re-
suit Rev Moore our behaved paster
preechd 70 Sim Hines the jannitter who
bids fires in the church and Deacon
Snodgrass who lives Jest back of the
church and was abel to elm a fence
and git to the church door without
gittin his # muddy. BY the time Rev.
Moore was half thru with his sermon
both Sim and the Deacon was asleep.
so Rev. Moore slamd shet the Bibel
and left the church in deep disgust also
left Sim and the Deacon still asleep.
Sim woked up LIST about 2 p. m. and
hurreed home to dinner The Deacon
diddent wake up until most o'clock
and he sed he thort the sleep refreshd
him purity nigh as mulch as the SER
mon would of if he had of herd it
Mrs. Martha Tucker sent our wife a
delishus skwash pie tother day made
outen some skwashes which she cand
last ottun and the pie was wlot we
mite say perzactly whot the Dr. orderd
1t certingly did fetch the spot under
our eddytoriul belt We. ct three
quarters of said pie at one setting
whereas our wife ct only one quarter
but then we etc good cal Eastern our
wife do
The sleddin seems to be most gone
hereabouts. This is largely due to the
absents of snow and the presents of
mud # or two deep. Bige Barker
diddent reulize that the sleddin was so
poor until Friday mornink when he
hitchd up to his bobsled and started
with two bosses pullin it to the co seat.
He got as fur as the foot of Teck Hill
when he stuck in the mud and the
bosses couldn't bulge the sled a intch
further so Bige had to git two more
bosses from Alb Snyder and hitch on
to git his sled out and turned around
lords home. Alb said the langwidge
Bige used on this ospishus occasion
was almost sinful to lissen to-
If you desire to keep posted on whots
a going on not only in your midst but
also throughout the sivvylized world
why don't you reed the Boogle? Why
remain a ignorunt ignyramrnus when
for the ridicklus sum of s. per annlm
you can git the Bugle for whole "
and become a intelligent talking and
thinkink huming being? Don't ,ntinue
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31

a drink outer the crick which runs
thru his pastchure.
Well, Cy's old bald-faced mare
happend to be sick and being as this
mare is the only horse he has poor
Cy had to go and hire horse from
Enoch Smiley who charged him a
doller for the use of it altho Cy he
beat Enoch down to this price from
a doller and a half. Cy hitched
up the horse Cor ruther mare) to
his buggy and he driv lickettv split
down to Snake Bend and hunted up
Malachi and told him that he would
be willin to lend him the thousand
dollers he wanted perviding NAL
achi would give him 1st mortgage on
his farm and pay him 10 perct. in
trust as he had told Yves Woodruff
he was willin to do.
Malachi lookd at Cy with his
mouth open and wanted to know
whot in Sam Hill he was talkin
about being as it wassent clear to
him. Then Cy explained what Yves
had told him and Malachi begin to
laff right in Cys Ease and told Cy
that being as he haddent saw hide
nor hair of Yves Woodruff for at
least munth he calkilated that
Yves was jest putting up leetle
Aprile Fool joke on him When Cy
reulised this was moren likely he
got mad, so Malachi says. and shuk
his fists and swore sofnethink aw-
full, altho Cy is stanch piller in
the Bingville Church and goes evry
Sabbath and contributes to the col
leckshion plate all the Canadian
dimes and coins with holes in EN-
which he happens to git in the
course of bizness. !
Mrs. Seth Dewberry wife of our
lion hearted town constubble fooled
Seth like everything Jest after mid
mite on Aprile Fool day morning.
Mrs. Dewberry happend to wake
up jest after midnite and i ockurd
to her that it was Aprile Fool day
and she thort she would fool Seth
if possibil who was a layin there
beside her in bed sound asleep and
snorin his fool head off and maxim
stitch a turrible racket that she
couldn't git to sleep agin and she
thinks that whot woke her up in the
1st place. so she thort she would
not only fool her husband, but also
put stop to his snoring so she give
him a sharp nudge in the ribs and
Seth he rubd his eyes and set up in
bed with his hair all standin on end
and desired to know what Mary
Jane wanted-that's his wifes name
Jane.
Then Mary Jane told Seth to for
goodness sake git up and go down
and anser the front door becuz sum-
buddy was k11ockin and was prob1v
in distress so Seth he gifts outen
bed half asleep and without stopin
to put on his pants he starts down
the stairs when he happens to think
it mite be burglar wanting in at
that hour of the mite so he come
back and got his six shooter re-
volver and snuk down stairs and
opend the door with one hand and
the revolver in tother but of course
there wassent nobuddy there and
Seth closed the door in disgust and
started up the stairs in the dark
and stubd the toe of his bare foot
and fell and the revolver which
was cockd went off and the bullet
went so clost to Seths bare foot that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31

to waller in the slow of darkness
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE BUGLEl
Hen Weathersby prop of the Bingville
genl store sold a pr of felt top lumber
boots to Ham Snyder last wk and the
ST day he wore them they perspired
seemd to US a good cal discouraged
his # so that in the evg when he tux
EN- off he couldn't skeercely walk. Ham
wanted Hen to take back the boots and
give him his money back hut Hen re-
foosed on the grounds that the boots
had been wore and was of no use 10
him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
FASHION
ABLE
DRESS
MAKING

desire to inform the ladies of Bing-
vile g. Vicinity that ! am still in the
fashionable dressmaking bizness as
ushual | have inst returned from the
co seat WHARF | have been visiting with
nv sister for wk and during this time
have been studying the latest per-
vaiIing spring styles which are to be
saw in the co seat. If you desire to
have ennytllink did in the line of dress
making come to me and I will did it in
the latest STYLE for you IF you will
come to me | will garryntee that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1917-03-31
YOU WILL HAVE A FIT

IF YOU contemplate purchasing new
clothes this spring give me call and
will show you pickshers of the latest
spring styles in the fashion magazines.
No charge for consultashion. J also
have on hand bootofool samples of
dressgoods for inspeckshion- | also
perform alterashions in clothes, re-
pairs and ennythink else in the ladies
tailoring line Call on me at my resi-
dence Yours for the latest style,
MISS PHOEBE HILDERBRAND.
Fashionable Dressmaker.
also
Robes ct Mantoze.
Bingviile.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29
Christmas Ribbons

CHRISTMAS, without ribbons TO
Stie UP packages, and to fashloa
into dainty gifts, would lose much
Of Its charm. What inexpensive elfk
affords more pleasure to q little girl
than bright coiored hair bows3
Taffeta ribbons, extra heavy quail
ity suitable for hairebows. black,
white and the wanted colcrA I'd
Csc, 2sc, $50
AL silk MORE ribbon from to I
inches In width, for hair bows and
sashes, the yard. 2oc to 8se.
All silk plaid hair bow ribbons
excellent quality. the yard. q and
29c.
Fancy ribbons In light and dark
warp prints and stripe effects for
making camisoles and bags. the
I'd % to $f.1e.
Boudoir caps Of dainty silks and
laces, an ideal git. 500 to $2A
Main Fioos
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29
Leather Gifts

oNvENlENcEs for tho travel
Yer, necessities for the homo and
a hundred and one suggestions for
the gift seeker are to be found In
our leather goods section.
Hand bags Of pin seal, crepe, NOR
roco and goat feathers. priced from
s1.75 to $1,000.
Shopping bags Of morocco. cape
goat and seal grain, leather lined.
S1.75 to $3.50.
Flat purses Of walrus. crepe seal.
morocco and vachette feathers,
S1.oo to 5000.
Travelling sets, fitted With ivory
or ebony fittings, $3.50 to $500.
Manicure sets in leather cases
withfiyory fittings. 59c to $500. !
Main Floor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29
Letter From
Santa Claus

North Pore, Nov. l, 1917.
Dear Children;
I have received many letters
from you already and most OF
them ask me, rather wistfully,
whether ] am coming around
this year ION account Of the
war, you know. So / thought
would answer lot Of your let
tiers at once by writing to the
NJ. L. Parker Company, who will
publish it In the papers for you
to read. This is where | expect
to make my Headquarters until
Christmas.
I have been very busy for
long time now, making things
for the soldiers and sailors and
sending them away, across the
ocean and to the training camps
in this country. l have also
been making and sending things
to the little orphan children in
Belgium and France and all
those other places where the
terrible war is being fought.
Not many Of these things
have been toys and such. Most
OF them have been useful things,
to wear, to eat, or to really use
in other ways. 1t is long time
since | made so smany useful
things instead OF SO many toys,
and can tell you that it was
pretty hard for me TO remember
how to do it.
know it was right for me to
do 1t, even if it has made me
short of the things that / usual
ly have for you. I think-and. /
hope | am right-that you are
glad to have me do it and that
if | had written to ask you about
| it you would have told me TO go
ahead.
So many of the soldiers and
sailors were children like your
| selves only a little while ago.
Perhaps they don't look - for
ward to Christmas with the
same eagerness that you do, but
like to think that the things l
have made and sent them make
them happier and more comfort
able while they are fighting for
US.
And now to answer your ques-
lions about coming around this
year. OF course, you all know
what Christmas day is-that il
was Christ's birthday and that
is why we make 1t holiday.
That is one reason why I have
always looked upon Christmas
LAS the children's special day,
So, in spite of the war and Of all
the time I have spent sending
things to the soldiers and sail
ors. | expect to come around
this year as usual. No, not quite
as usual, because ] expect the
things ! can bring you will bear
the marks of what | have been
doing for the others. I shall not
bring quite so many toys, par
| ticularly the expensive kind,
yet my little children must hsve
toys and candy or it would not
seem like Christmas to them.
| For the larger children I will
bring more useful and practical
things that will be just as pleas
| ing. Certainly these new things
will carry just as much love and
good wishes as ever.
| | don't see why I should fer
| get you or pass you by entirely
| because of the war work | have
been doing and expect still to
do. After all, it is your day
and it is my pleasure to see TO
it that you are remembered as
usual expect to arrive Sat
urday, December LIST, Meet me
in Toyland, Third Floor, at
Parker's.
Your old time faithful
SANTA CLAUS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29
Neu GLOUes

vAIHAT better gift can you think
w Of than a nice pair Of gloves.
for they arc always acceptable and
q uift that Is most useful.
Ireland's washable Waller Kid
Gloves in grey. white or cham
paigne, pair. $2-s6.
Women's Kid Gloves. plain black
or contrast stitching. pain. 500 to
>2.o8.
Women's khaki Auto 0auntlets.
fleece lined, pair $3.50.
Women's Grey Suede and Tan
Kid Gloves, FUR lined. t4bo.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29
DAINTY Necku,ear

CtFTs that fulfill their misslsa
Min the most charming way are
those that are Z erace5sa ao1rnoss5-
edgement OF the taste and prefer.
ence OF the qlver. Our necicNeaf
section unfoids 4 treasury q Int
such christnas suggestions.
Stocks and Jabots Of satin,
georgette crepe. net and nne orient
al and flet laces, DOC to @225.
Dainty organdie and Swiss COL
lars and dress sets, SOC to $3.50.
Collar and dress sets Of satin,
georgette crepe. pique and benga-
Iine In the new roll effects, some
hand embroidered 600 to $225.
Satin and georgette crepe vests,
both high and dat collars. $50 to
S1.s8. -maln Floor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-11-29

4 liable, always sure to be grateful
iy received. II Is gratifying indeed
to find such aeaortmepts AZ these
to select from.
Kayser silk hose In colors Of
grey, flesh, champaign. blue and
other wanted colors. pair 500.
Eiffel Silk hose made Of splen-
did quality of silk. comes In black
and white As well as all the desir-
able colors. pair, $1-39.
ETHEL pure silk hose in the new
CT colors of gold. suede, beaver,
khaki brown and many others. pair.
$50.
Novelty SIX hose IN . variety Of
colors and stripes, many pretty col
or combinations, pair, $15Q
Hand painted silk hose pure sink
with dainty designs Of flowers. blue
birds and rose clocktng also bead
ed effects, pair $500.
Main Floor
The Detroit times., 1917-07-06
Commanders Ordered
To Save All Shells
Possible
BOYS OF IL ARE
CALLED TO ARMY
Big Percentage of In
fantry Made Up
of Lads
By WILLIAM PHILLIP sIMMs

WITH THE BRITISH ARMIES
IN THE FIELD. July 6.--Sohe OF
the countless makeshifts with which
Germany is tiding over. her dearth
OF war metals and war power were
revealed at headquarters today
First OF all; prisoners say there
Is a fierce demand from the Ger
man fighters for more guns and
that orders have been given by Ger
man commanders for curtailment
in their expenditure OF shells wher.
ever possible
The captured cartridge shell cases
are OF steel now.
Lack Of brass and copper has
made the enemy try this metal for
ammunition cases for field guns and
howitzers. Steel cartridges are also
being issued 10 soldiers now. At
tempts have been made To make
these steel cases available for use
in machine guns. but up 10 the
present they persist in a tendency
TO burst and jam the guns
Captured automobiles from tho
German lines show construction al
most without brass or copper. Mo
tor lorries show fabric and wooden
tires instead OF rubber
Fstimates from prisoners give
about IS per cent Of the present
German fghting infantry made up
OF men 81 and % years old From
70 10 Is per cent are men averag-
ing 20 Lads Of ~ are now being
brought 10 the front in large num-
bers and about five or 10 per cent
Of the fighting infantry is made mp
Of these YOUNGSTERS German pris-
onors say home depOts are now fill
ing up with 1Syear-old youths and
even boys OF II are undergoing ey-
animation preparatory TO conscrip.
ton.
The Detroit times., 1917-07-06

May BEGIN
SATURDAY
Local Boards Are Urg-
ed To Finish Work
BY That Time
II. S. THEN READY
TO SELECT MEN
BV WEBB c. MILLER.

rffN ~ - 'FftN'ftt g NAhhfA 4 ff"N
WASHINGTON. July 6.-The
draft lottery will be staged in the
capitol on the day following com
pletion of organization OF the local
exemption boards
The minute the local boards are
completed and have numbered more
than 100000 registration cards. we
will be ready for the draft, accord
ing 10 the official announcement Of
Provost Marshal General Crowder's
Office today.
Genera Crowder has insisted that
the boards finish their labors before
Saturday.
He emphasized that every day
lost now means day lost in or
ganization of the armies OF the
United States"
In a message 10 every board. Gen
eral Crowder declared II is an i'm
perative national necessity that the
serially numbered copies of the
cards be in the hands OF tho states
adjutant general and another copy
be mailed TO Washington before Sat
urday.
"The first test Of the efficiency Of
the great national war organization
on which you are an important
member comes now" the messages
read. This is the most important
element in the conduct of war
II is plain 10 see how great is the
nations dependence on each partic-
ular man in whom the president has
expressed his confidence by appoint
ment TO a local board
The Detroit times., 1917-07-06
Doom of Whisky Is
Sealed: Beer and
Wine To Escape
MAY BE PUT UP
TO PRESIDENT
Likely, However, That
Mild Drinks Will
Be Uncurbed
BY ROBERT J. BENDER

WASHINGTON. July The IA.
nous trial OF booze. beer and Wine
in the United States senate is near
ing an end After three weeks OF
wordy battle. the CO is expected 20
go 60 the Jury late today a vcf
dict may come before sundown
There is no question MS io ihc
fate OF spirits They viii be- given
the death penalty Beer and wine
are expected 20 survive The sen
ate chamber was crowded carly to
hear the final specChc- hceinnlne a.
. y. m. Under decision handed
down late yesterday. debate today b.
limited 20 10 minutes bv trh "ua
tor on the section of fhc food bi'l
under which an oi me famous boN
eraees are now subject fo conNc.
tion.
ON the different question as ihey
will be voted on the following pro-
dictions were made today
To prohibit Manufacture of pIrIts
and leave the fate of beer and Wine
10 the president wet- and Rcruh-
lean drys viii cons Hnio mtl
majority against ucl Forfc'
To prohibit an thfcc spirits hocrs
and wines about 800 radical vote
will be cast favornE such q verdict
with majority against H.
To prohibit spirits and NOT in'ar
fere with beers and wines an ovrr-
whelming verdict is expected
with these question disposed of.
the senate expects tu q pose o' tilr
whole food measure by noN Wed
pesday or THURSDAY