davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15
Tits ond Ob0f

uncle in distant state and employed
an attorney to get for him his share
of the estate After much delay the
lawyer sent for his client and said:
II have collected your share Of your
uncle's property, and here is state
ment Of your account" The account
rendered showed many items Of ex-
pense, such as taking dispositions, no.
tary's fees, court costs, travelling ex-
penses, etc., considerable charge In
favor of the attorney for his serv-
ices, and only small balance for the
nephew. After examining and pom
dering over the statement for quite
a while, the client looked up and
said to the lawyer, "Was that your
uncle or mine that died?"
+ / + !
George r. Graves, Nicola, Iowa,
sends the following:
A RELIC OF FORMER TIMES
Sale Sill Printed in Days When HUI
man 0i6VCFY was TCTH1ttkGO W.
This Country
Into the hands of A. V. PaulsOn, q
postal clerk of Atchison, Kan, the fol-
lowing sale bill, printed before the
Civil War, has just come as his prop
erty. It describes the proposed sale
Of slaves and other chattels:
Estate of Missouri, County Of Pike
TO whom it may concern. The under
signed will, on Tuesday, December 20,
1916, sell at public cutlery on my prem
Uses, where old Coon creek crosses
Mission road, the following chattels,
to-wit: Six yoke of oxen, with yoke
and chains; three negro wenches;
four niger bucks; three niger boys;
four niger girls; three bedsteads with
beds; two prairie plows; one barrel OF
picked cabbage; one lot Of niger
hoes; one hogshead tobacco; one spin
ming wheel; one loom; twenty-three
foxhounds, all well trained; lot of
coon, mink and skunk hides and lot
of other articles. Terms will be made
known the day Of sale. am going to
California. Free headcheese, apples
and hard cider for all. Come and
have good time
S 5 5
A Missouri woman recently rushed
into telegraph Office and informed
the operator that her husband had
gone to st. Louis to get banner for
the Sundayschool, but she had for
gotten to tell him how large the ban
ner was to be and the inscription to
be placed upon It, She then wrote
a telegram containing the needed in
formation and handed it to the oper-
ator. 1t read: "My dear James, Sa-
voy Hotel, ST. Louis: Unto us child
is born, eight feet long two feet wide"
The husband is still In st. Louis, and
it is rumored that he isn't coming
back.-Ex.
/ / ! /
1t was about as difficult to educate
the public mind that the schoolhouse
should be social center as 1t was in
augurate the organ into the churches.
A debating society in an Ohio town
many years ago, having asked for the
use Of the schoolhouse in which to
hold their meetings, received the fol-
lowing reply from the director:
"You are welcome to use the school
house to debate in, but such things as
railroads and telegraphs are impossi-
bilities and are rank infidelities. There
is nothing in the Word of God about
them. If God had designed that his
intelligent creatures should travel at
the frightful sped OF is miles an hour
by steam. he would have clearly fore
told 1t through his holy prophets. IL.
~ AA<,snA ~ Gatan ~ load inarnnrfa1
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15
Never on a Jury

How is it that a registered voter
can reside in Baraboo and be in bus
mess for many years and never get
on jury in the circuit or justice
courts? x. Y. z.
Baraboo.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15
SOCIETY SHOULD DO MORE.
FOR THE CRIMINAL

One cannot meet Thomas Mott Os-
sorne or study the work that he has
done in the reform OF prison condl-
Mons at Sing SING without feeling
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15
Ollapodrida


you something timely question
ask, please send to this department.. Limit all
muncations 300
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15
Old DAYS

In 1842 most of the farm houses
were log houses with fireplaces in
stead of stoves. Where we lived in
New York state stoves had just be-
gun to be used by the well-off, and
that winter our schoolhouse was fur
nished with stove, and the first day
of school a few of us got so sick from
it's heat that we had to go home,
but we soon got used to it. The
teacher had evening schools and all
attended. He taught geography by
repeating in concert. We learned the
counties Of New York like this; Chau-
tauqua, Chautauqua: Erie, Erie; Nj
agara, Niagara-and in the same
manner we learned the rivers, capee
and nations Of the whole world. And
the animals in rhyme:
Alligator, hedgehog.
Anteater, bear,
Rattlesnake, bullfrog,
Anaconda, hare.
Buffalo, woodchuck,
Wolverine, goose;
Whip-poor-W Will, chipmunk,
Jackall, moos.
Turkey buzzard, swan
Humbird, fee,
Wild horse, fawn,
Musk rat, bee.
Weasel, wildcat.
Penguin, puma,
Alligator, Swiss rat,
Wild goose, llama.
Reindeer, black snake.
hex, nightingale,
Martin, wild drake,
Crocodile, quail.
Musk OK. oce1ot,
White bear, doe,
Chickadee, peacock,
Bob-o'-link, crow.
Polliwog, fox,
Catamountain, lynx,
Prairie dog, OK,
Panther, mink.
Glowworn, wren,
Salamander, snail,
Plover, prairie hen,
Greenland whale.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1917-03-15

Toads and frogs there were, very
numerous. And in the mill pond the
big bull frogs In deep bass would
growl, Better go round; better go
round" And the little peep frogs
shrilly cry, Pretty deep! Pretty
deep!" Then again the big fellows
would growl, You'll be drowned !;
You'll be drowned"
BENZ. SIMONDS.
Barab0o, Wis.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
The Inevitable.

When Congress convenes next month of the
first duties of President Wilson is to urge that it de-
clare war Austria. -... l. -.-.
The present position of the United States is anom-
alous; it has been rendered all the so by the
issuance of the alien enemy proclamation, which makes
rigid rules for the conduct of Germans in the United
States but leaves the Austrian the Bulgarian and the
Turk among US free to roam where he listeth. OBJ
viousy absurd since it is known fact that many of
the leading enemy agents in this country are of Aus
trian citizenship.
Furthermore, glance at the equivocal position we
hold in the conference abroad which Col. House and
his coadjutors have been sent to attend They are
urging unity of counsel and action upon nations which
have borne the brun of three years. and have been
striving to attain coordination through labyrinth of
practical difficulties In receiving the American logic
they point to singular failure to achieve unity
the objective of common enemy. We are not making
war on the central empires-we making on
Germany Yet American soldiers the Western front
and possibly the Italian front-may clash at any
time with Austrian divisions.
We treat Austria as entity separate from Ger
many. The reason is obscure; doubtless the hope of
cleavage between Germany and Austria is still active
in Washington. Yet the President in his Buffalo ad-
dress made graphic picture of the pan-German hege-
mony not as something to be attained, but as some
thing already accomplished If that picture of real
lied pan-Germanism does not make Austria in reality
Prussan province, if it does put Vienna under
the domination of Berlin, we do not know what it
does The President declared that victorious Ger
many would have undisputed sway from Hamburg to
Bagdad. Austrian fortunes irretrievably
linked with Germanys that she could not break away
from them even if she would.
If it is dangerous to permit German aliens to be at
large American territory, without restriction, it is
equally dangerous to allow Austrian aliens to do So
The dictates of prudence and call for
declaration of war on Austria
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
The Magnificent Rejoindef Of Lloyd George

We are indebted to the British premier for the first
tangible assurance about the submarine have had in
many months. It has been in some degree discounted
by the weekly report tonnage losses issued by the
British admiralty, whose welcome story of the steady
decline in the power of the U-boat has already been
commented upon in these columns. 1t dramatic
stroke indeed, for Lloyd George seeking
ter-hrust for the mordant and unparng speech which
he had made for the Parisians inform the house of
commons and incidentally the world, that five German
submarines had been destroyed on single day, thus
lifting the veil for a single feeting glimpse of the pre-
cously guarded of the British navy regarding
the fate of those Prussian hornets of the which
never return to their home bases.
Lloyd George followed his revelation by a masterful
assertion that the submarine almost thing
of the past The house of commons friend and foe
alike, cheered him wildly, for there was not a man
there who did not grasp the importance of the
who did think it far outwcghed the deplorable
collapse Of allied hopes in Italy the disemper in
Russia. In this belief the majority of Americans will
support him. We are far from believing that the sub
marine has played its final card If it is on the wane
if it has been mastered if only partially,
satisfied knowing indeed that the whole future of the
war depends upon the uninterrupted flow of and
supplies from the United States to Europe. When
command of the is assured the United States, it
will worry about what Russia does, Italy does
it is well able to handle the Hun itself
In speaking about the new inter-alled war council
the premier clearly under the necessity of standing
by his guns and yet conciatng the violent opposition
that his plan has uncovered He says that Washington
is anxious 60 step further than he is ready
to CO. and to grant the council executive powers He
declares that the future may show the granting of
these powers the council imperative, but that he
cannot traverse the full distance now.
The near future will show whether President Viii
son will make fight for the principle he is sup
porting will accept the Lloyd George compromise.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
The Way 1t Appeared.

Speaking at dinner, Senator Thomas Sterling, of
South Dakota referred to the trte saying that appear
sometimes deceitful and told the following
story as example:
One afternoon Western train was tagged at a
country tower to receive orders On either side moth
ing visible the passengers but large cornfelds
Even the tower obscured by bend in the road
When the train stopped it CHANGED that farmer
in field close to the track and the conductor be-
ing acquainted with Uncle Josh, he stopped beside the
road and pleasantly chatted with him while waiting for
the signal to proceed.
This is certainly the limit" exclaimed one of the
passengers, who had peevishy been watching the
ducor and the farmer 1T beats any ralroading that
l ever heard of"
I don't quite get you, old man." responded the man
in the seat beside him. "To what are you referring?"
ITO what am referring!" exclaimed the first point
ing to the conversational group. Gust look at that !
Think of holding train eight minutes while the con-
ductor talks to a blooming hecker Philadelphia
Telegraph.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

boat doesn't have TO walt until the
submarine comes near, for the mother
ships deck is a landing platform for
bombing aeroplanes. which Will ac-
company the feet, flying out from the
mother ship by day and night TO
watch for the undersea enemy.
The inventor claims that his boat is
practically unsuitable. A system OF
bulkheads makes IL 50, he assertA
The soldiers, going across TO fight
for their country. in q transport con-
voyed by a mother ship would have
their own vessel protected by the gun
ners and aerial scouts and bombers on
board the mother ship. and IL them
boat should be torpedoed there would
be the mother ship near by to ,pick
them up.
The Scientific American points out
that the BogeTt mother ship incor-
porates the three measures Of defense
and attack necessary 10 beat the
U-boAts. First there are the guns on
the mother ship; secondly, the making
such vessels unsuitable in so far as
possible; and thirdly, the use Of air
plane scouters and bombers at sea
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
Heavens Best Gift to Man.

An ideal wife is heavens best gift to
So says the Rev. Wilbur w. Mckee pastor of a
Methodist Episcopal church at Syracuse, N. Y.
We agree with him 1t would be hard to find a
man who doesn't
p The Rev. Mr.. Mckee goes farther. He tells us
what combination is necessary to make of these
heavens best gifts
"The ideal wife" he explains, is home maker,
peace maker intellectual companion, indus
trious co-worker, and restful woman"
Have you one in your home?
If not why not? There several million
ideal wives in these United States.
And there would be millions of them, we
confidently believe if there ideal husbands
The same combination which goes to make the ideal
wife meets with our idea of the ideal husband
The who is good home maker Eyes indeed,
be home makers, too), a peace maker Omen
do that, also), intellectual companion, in
dustrious co-worker, and restful man. is an ideal
husband.
Most often you'll find that the ideal husband has
an ideal wife. Exceptions? Of course, but they
vince that we're right in assertion.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
MOTHER SHIP TO GUARD |.
BOYS GOING TO FRANCE
American Inventive Genius Is Working to
Make Safer the Journey Through
U-Boat Infested Waters.

Mothers Of boys who are going
'over there" to fight for the honor
and independence Of this country may
be needlessIy worrying about the
ocean voyage their boys must make
to get somewhere In France"
Those submarine dangers may not
be as great in the future as they have
been In the past
For our soldiers may go over in
transports conveyed by a mother
ship"
A mother ship" IL the latest device
of American inventive genius to beat
the German submarine.
1t Is the product Of John L. Bogert,
New York consulting engineer, and is
taken seriously by all scientific jour
nils and marine experts.
The mother ship" is designed to be
the sea protector Of transport vessels,
although she herself would carry both
freight and human cargoes.
The mother ship would convoy fleets
Of transports.
-Four 5-inch caliber guns would be
mounted on her beck, for use in case
a U-boat is sighted. But the mother
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
Ballad of Broken Things.

The toy skillful fingers may repair
Is dearer far in fearful childish eyes
Than all remaining treasures whole and fair,
For here is tragedy that beauties.
The broken doll assumes heroic guise-
Puts on halo and angels wings
The saints must die before we canonize-
The broken things are the immortal things!
Yea, shattered gods the heart of man ensnare
'Tis the SCARED loveliness we praise and prize;
To wreck and ruin fealty we swear
How near ones soul the Coliseum lesl
And see, ere straining flight may scale the Skies
Ere she may know her lifes true wakenings,
From ashes must the tabled bird arise
The broken things the immortal thingsl
Ruin and dust and ashes of despair
On these build our shrines; and here our cries
Of alteration and exalted prayer,
Ascending like the smoke of sacrifice,
Halo waste lands and homes. On dying sighs
Are waited seeds of perfect coverings;
The Christ accepted death, and He was wise
The broken things are the immortal thingsl
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY o. THE YEAR.
Nv John Kendrick RanEs,
AUTUMN LEAVES.

Like TO watch the autumn leaves go
by
Whirling. twirling, Ger the country
lands.
Flirting Caily meath the autumn sky
All regardless Of hfe's tangled
skeins.
Pirouetting with the crispy breeze.
Careless seeming of all things OF
woe,
FIXING on the winds above the trees
Like a flock of happy birds they go.
Would that I my destiny might greet
Smiling and happily as they.
Heart all full of cheer. and dancing
feet,
Onward pressing rough the
CLANCY day.
Copyright, IsI7)
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
Business High School
Alumni Plan Meeting

The first reunion of the Business
High School alumni in eight years
will be held Saturday evening, Decem-
Der s, at s o'clock in the assembly hall
of Business High School.
Following the reunion a minstrel
show and dance will be given. Those
who will take part are: Emma Nor
rizi, Mildred Raymond, Ruth Hon-
man, Raymond Vaughn. Edward Non
Elf, Robert McMackin, William Bailey
and Carl Gill.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

cas slogan if invasion of soil is to be prevented
There ID but one other way-that great and infinite
God may see fit to put it into the hearts of men to
cease their carnage and again live together in pece and
brotherly loye Let those who believe in God pray
increasingly" to that end.--The DaylLetter.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

'pecial Correspondent Of The Washington HerAl
New York, Nov. 20.
Back home one night
I went to see.
broadway After Dark"
At the town hall.
And saw a city slicker.
With a smooth tongue.
And oily ways.
Foil Honest Jim.
For the hand OF the gal.
And in the last act
Plain Old Jim.
Refused to eat.
At the same table.
with the william.
Il won't sit thar" he said.
by that thar city chap"
He amt done right"
BY our little Neil"
And then they showed.
Brooklyn Bridge at night.
And 1 swallowed my gun.
And now Broadway.
Is pitch dark after night.
And I went. out.
Looking for a thrill.
And carried a pocket lamp.
And a piece of rubber hose.
And whistled.
To keep up courage.
And some one followed me.
knew he was a crook.
For he was smoking.
A Turkish cigarette.
And when 1 stopped.
He stopped, too.
And I ran and so did he.
And after two blocks.
began to fly.
At least it seemed so.
But he kept right on.
And at last I gave up.
And sank down at the curb.
And he came up.
And touched me.
And crossed his fingers.
And said: You're It"
Then his keeper came.
And said Come on, Czar."
1T is getting late.'
And he took him.
Into a great gray house
And over the door.
Was the sign:
Private Sanitorium."
Why didn't the big stiff.
Tell me he was a nutH
I'm no mind reader.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

Something. is going to happen to the auto men,"
says Washington dispatch Many, many times have
set out for the garage saying Just that, but the
something always happened to US.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
PLAIN TALKS By John d. Barry

But TO expect too much would be
foolish as well as Unscientific.
That old scientist had the right at
titude He tried To see things a.
they were without blaming them for
being otherwise
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

Bavarian newspapers poking sarcasm at King
Ludwig because he eats three square meals a day.
But gee! what's king for?
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

Even the fellow who fights and runs away can
return from the war with honorable scars. He will
have been vaccinated against typhoid, smallpox and
gangrene, anyhow
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

Besieged government troops in the Kremlin of
Moscow reported to be able to hold out for ten
days Hurrahl There's something in Russia that can
hold out for ten days, at last
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

Something of that philosophers
state of mind We ought TO try to ac-
quire
OF all times We need it most now.
And those of us need it particularly
who most depIore the condition OF
the world and who are tempted to
denounce mankind for letting it get
into such a condition.
The worst belligerents at this time
sIe the pacifsts," l recently heard
a humorous observer declare. They
" ant to fight all those that don {
agree with them. They can't for
give the fighters and the friends OF
ighting even for being sincere.
The best belligerents," he went
on. "are those who are actually en-
gagged in the trenches. Some of them.
when they first go out to fight. feel
a personal bitterness. They'd like
to take their enemies one by one and
strangle them to death.
But, after a while, most Of them
recover from that feeling. They get
little intimate glimpses of the enemy.
they have friendly exchanges and
they can see that those fellows over
there are just as human and sincere
as they are themselves. They go
at fighting, then, as they would go
at any other impersonal job that has
to be done
There is a man in the Middle West
who since the beginning Of the war
has been violently in opposition: His
paper was denied the mails.
Persons admire him for his cour-
age. But 1t is courage without dis
cretion and without complete under.
standing OF the situation.
The editor is now campaigning for
free speech.
On this subject President Wilson
has spoken with his usual clcsrness.
He recognizes war as situation
where special conditions have TO be
met in ways that DO not operate in
peace-time.
Beneath this kind OF situation lies
a mental condition that is always
associated with warfare and that
ought to be taken into account by
anyone who wishes to understand
war in all its expressions.
War is an absorbing phenomenon
on the surface. 1t apparently con-
tradicts most Of what we have &C
Quired through civilization even while
it uses the products of civilization
for its purposes.
But il really is no phenomenon at
all. 1t is perfectly natural de-
velopment And for this reason it
is all the more appealing as n study
and all the more profitable in its
lessons.
To understand a war, however, one
must become familiar with the null
titude of forces that lie behind it
When the present war is studied IN
this way it is bound to reN cal its,lf
as the most significant war Of his
tory.
To resent IT, then, TO judge harshly
those who helped 10 bring it on and
who are actively keeping il going,
would be like judging and rescnting
the ocean tides.
There has been a vast amount Of
time consumed in bringing the world
into its present state. There Will he
a much vaster amount consumed in
carrying it on toward perfection.
Perhaps the mar, el is that it should
have gone so far and that the pres
ent. not only in spite Of hut actually
by means of the CatdClysm. should
contain so much hope.
1t looks now as if the world might
be purginC itself Of some hideOUs
disease and preparing to start aIong
the road Of democratic progress.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
L'ENVOI.

Q Belgiuml There is victory that dies,
Power that undernines the thrones of kingsl
Fear not defeat; disaster glorifes-
The broken things are the immortal thingsl
Blanche Weitbrec, in the New York Times.
The Washington herald., 1917-11-21

There is a man in the Middle West
who since the beginning Of the war
has been violently in opposition: His
paper was denied the mails.
Persons admire him for his cour-
age. But 1t is courage without dis
cretion and without complete under.
standing OF the situation.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1917-07-03
GIRLS! MAKE LEMON LOTION TO WHlTEN
 AND BEAUTIFY SKIN

Tn all weathers the skin and com- plexion can be kept wonderfully clear, soft and white by the use of this mex pensive lemon lotion which any girl or woman can easily prepare.
 The juice of two fresh lemons strained into a bottle containing three ounces of orchard white makes a whole quarter pint of the most re- markable lemon skin beautifier at about the cost one must pay for a small jar of the ordinary cold creams. Care should be taken to strain the lemon juice through fine cloth so no lemon pulp gets in, then this lotion will keep fresh for months. Every woman knows that lemon juice is used to bleach and remove such blem- ishes as freckles, sallOwness and tan and is the ideal skin softner, smooth ener and beautifier.
 Just try it! Get three ounces of orchard white at any pharmacy and two lemons from the grocer and make up aquarter pint of this sweetly frag- rant lemon lotion. It naturally should help to soften, freshen, bleach and bring out the roses and hidden beauty of any skin. Those who will make it habit to gently massage this To- ton into the face, neck, arms and hands once or twice daily may be re- paid With skin that is flexible and young looking and peach-like com pleXion.--Advt.