The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1917-12-04
h1l45l[BG


Dear Oscar:
AS thu turkey and cranberry sauce
! has subsidized enough to allow me to
get close enough to the table /
thought I would write yoc few lines
as regards my late lamented visit to
the wife's relatives down in Orange
CO. who treated me just as nice az
IL hadn't committed the ack of mar
rying into the family only a little bet
ter maybe owing to the fact that
forgot myself for a moment and went
and invited them to visit me which
of course they will do only am glad
to have them and aint kicking or
nothing but you know as well az / do
what It is to have few extra mouths
gaping at your table times like these
You set UP there at the table and look
like you just lost three and q Quarter
at dominos tir~ night before and your
wife ahems and says what ais you
and you mutter out / am sorry, only
can't pay you all this week but IL
you send the corn meal and fat back
around as per order / will promise
to pay up rext sat coming, and she
bushes and you forget and swallow
a. fish bone and the baby pulls the
gravy over in his lap and you say
that's hell to lose all that gravy and
she-the Wife, of course, fiys away
from the table and you rush into the
offus like It was raining only II amt
and the boss says IL you don't stop
drinking you stop work and amt Il
hell, Oscar Only, OF course / am
glad to have all of them come up
after all, but say, Oscar, what Is It
gets in a mans head and makes him
get loose-hearted and issue such free
tickuts times like these? 1t must be
on acct. of the war or something.
don't know and ! can't half think It
out now owing to the fact that
caught the hives from setting around
so long on that Orange co. red clay
and they are on my body and ! can't
never get to scratch my head and
how can a man think without his
hands?
/ reckon you heard that Jack Hor-
ner, who palms off Fisk tires, has
made his escape from BALTIC. Also,
Geo, Hanson wishes me to say to you
and others concerned that his puts
are falling short and he says 1t amt
no more wonderful than the feats Of
sugars and salt. You see, Oscar, ne Is
trying to get off one OF them rummy
jokes Ike n. Ivey pulls all the time
! va ~ 81 AOo pEAAt ~ Az AAEtAp htitGI
and nohow a man amt got no bust
ness making fun of the gov. II it can't
mfg sugar and salt fast enough ror
the greedy stiffs to stow away in their
sellers. Geo. makes jokes like ne does
puts, eh, old boy?
Parson Dade has issued answers to
Invitations what amt never been sent
out inviting him to the neighborhood
hog=killings-- How that-Easesl- lives
! from hog-killing to hog-killing on
what the white folks pass out to him
is mystery for the human bean
family to dissolve,
Well. Oscar, ! carried that old nun
gle-ieadeF Down to the hills with me
and / and you in our palmiest SPUR
lrel-huntinE days never done no bet
ter. Il lambasted eleven rabbits which
amt hurting the food conditions Of
the country none only I missed two
. shots but at that a Teller had not
I ought to worry as no bus. man fig
gers on 100 per cent profit all the
time. I done the best / could and
II them Sammies of our is as good
az regards them Huns the country Is
safe for democracy and maybe the
gov. won't take little Benny away
from his paw and leave the farm 'as
fninNs' of saanaa az Belgium lsaof Hfss-
perity and happiness.
And another angle ! wish to speak
| to YOU about in connection with my
rabbits is that | turned the passed.
of them over to the wife's people
where I stayed and | give you my
word of honor they never so much
as give me a red cent in return for
them. Can you beat 1t? OF course
| am n gentleman and I never said
nothing about It but you know how
Il is, Oscar, g Teller can't help think
ing and especially when he went so
far as to invite them up to stay with
him a spell times Ike these.
see In the Echo where they turned
that Mrs. De Sally. the Chile concarne
beauty, aloose and that them ladies
they had in the OcuQuan hoosegow IL
suing the gov. for A million and
got to stop now and write my wife
few lines what | couldn't pry aloose
from her family owing to there not
being no loose change In my pocket
for her fare only OF coarse that is
excuse and l left her their to sponge
a few days longer and amt It curious
how hard women in general are get
ting to handle only of course II I was
the Judge and was single TO rule the
coart az ! wanted to / would sentence
the last one of them to the red cross
Well. when I fully survive 1 will
let you have q few OF the latest news
OF the Ridge In the meantime don't
get too soft-hearted, and be sure to
look out for weasled faced human
beans with sharp turned up whiskers
You'rn