davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Ie..w Wheat OKLAHOMA CRY TIMES Eat
-FOUR BITES OF A CHERRY"
BY THEODORE ROOSEVELT.

TN HIS recent message to congress President Wilson
stated that in order TO push great war of freedom
and Justice to its righteous conclusion We must clear away
with thorough hand all mpcdimcnH to success and
added the very embarrassing obstacle that stands in our
way is that we at with Germany put not with her
allies"
He recommended that we declare on Austria and
added the same logic would lead also declaration Of
against Turkey and Bulgaria" But niercnaly and
for reasons apparent he advised against such action
The president is entirely right in stating that failure
hitherto 10 declare war the allies of Germany has been
very embarrassing obstacle to success and he is
entirely right in advising declaration OF war against
Austria incidentally, ! wish 70 point out that this is
precisely what insisted upon in these columns two months
ago and what had elsewhere advocated six months ago
and is worth while remembering that the administration
papers then assailed me for urging the which
although there has not been the slightest change in the
situation, the president urges
There was no justification whatever for failure to
declare war on Austria when we declared war Germany
and there is now no justification for failure to declare
on Bulgaria and Turkey when we declare Austria
There is no use in making four bites Of cherry There is
no in going little, but not much The pres
dent has message pledgng support to Rumania, but
is worse than an empty form send such message
unless forthwith declare Bulgaria The president
has appointed Sunday for the special expression of
sympathy with Armenia but such expression OF sympathy
is utterly meaningless unless we go to war with Turkey
The Auro Hungarian and Turkish empires must be broken
up il intend to make the world moderately safe
for democracy There must be revived Poland taking in
all the Poles of Austria Prussia and Russia; greater
Bohemia taking in Moravia and the Sovaks great ugo
Slav commonwealth including Serbia Croatia Bosnia and
Herzegovina while the Runanians in Hungary should be-
part Of Rumana and the Italians in Austria part OF
Italy
The Turk must be driven from Europe and Christian and
Arab freed Only in this we do justice to the
subject peoples tyrannIed by the Germans MagRrs
and Turks Only in this way the menace Of
German aggression which has become haunting nightmare
for all civilizations especially in the of small we'll
behaved, llberty-loyng peoples.
By declaring war on dermanys allies we do not commit
ourselves TO asking anything that is just for Our
allies But by failing to declare Germanys allies
we ourselves guilty Of injustice to allies.
Copyright 1917. the Kansas city starr
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
GENERAL HOFFMAN.

A Prominent to command division in France is in
- itself fine compliment to the military ability OF
Brgader General Roy Hoffman of this city and
Of qualification to his many friends General Pershing,
doubt is selecting his commanders for di-
visions and that thorough fighting be relied upon
to select them for fitness, and other reason There is
big task to do out there, and the army needs demand
that in high places we'll troopers in the ranks
be qualified to do it. Those who have known General o
mans close study of military matters and his zeal for the
he serves will not question his nes for the under
taking,
1t is also quite likely that he will be advanced in
rank we'll given larger and important cont
mand, and that he will be Major General Hoffman.
1t has been the rule TO place divisions command OF
major generals and probably exception will be made
in this instance Such promotion will be a fitting reward
to an officer and gentleman, who will give his country
the best he has, which is good.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

has a son who wonders why the other
half exists,
When a woman gives a party she is
afraid that one of the guests might 60
home hungry But When a man gives
a party he is afraid that one of the
guests might 90 home thirsty.
When a mars fixed income from an
estate amounts to $1,000 per year we
forget to laugh at him when he tells
us that he has an annuity OF $4,000 a
wear.
Any time a woman tells you that her
husband keeps no secrets from her you
know that her husband is a clever liar
who is an artist at keeping them.
No matter how homely a woman's
husband may be, she believes that ne
has an awSul time keeping chorus
girls and designing blondes from kid
naping him when he is down town
alone.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
RIppIINdRHY1IEs
DDMK Mason
vCoDyIvgtt IN7 /,
LAMENTATION.

WY HEN man. too tired to travI. J
w lies downGand cashes in, we|
w plant him in the gravel, AND
raise a mournful din; we buy somS
crepe and wear it; our grief, we can
not bear it; the passing OF such merit
is certainly a sin We sorrow for thd
nelghbor who's taken to the tomb whdl
turns from useful labor, to face un
timely doom; we say, The world seems
bleakcr. since Jim Adolphus Meekerl
grew weaker still and weaker and them
passed up the flume. How sad to con
template him, cut off while in his
prime He died. we had TO crate himI
and plant him in jig time he's in tho
boneyard dusty who was so good and
trusty his virtue ne'er grew rusty-his
going was a crime" But if old JIM
could twitter, perhaps he would remark
IFS not so doggone bitter, this slecp1
ing in the dark. where endless calnyid
rcigning I'm free from all the strain \
irg the hcartachc and complaining, and
all the cares that cark Beneath thd
vagrant thistle ! Slumbcr in the soil
no early morning whistle is calling me
to toll; I'm glad that those who love
me saw fit down here to shove me; 4
sleep while those above me go broke
for gas and oil. sleep while men are
breaking beneath their load Of fears 4
| sleep while hearts are aching, and
eyes are shedding tears; oh, friends,
cut out the weeping Mourn not for ono
who's sleepingl This stunt | will bd
keeping, for sixty million years %
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
PAVED ROADS PAY.

MANY LOCALITIES hesitate to tackle the paved road
" problem because Of the initial cost not to mention the
upkeep although the latter is item Of expense
But bold communities which have dared the risk have
found that the large investment pays in dollars and cents
to say nothing of the satisfaction Of getting there when one
starts good dirt road's fine highway until it rauN
which II does atsntervals and then it becomes slippery
slide on which motorist travels with chains and fear and
trembling il at all The hard surface road is there in all
sorts Of weather and that much to region given
to wide variety in climatic performances.
In many regions it has been demonstrated that paved
roads pay enough in increased land value, to cover the
cost and they also pay in several other Why moi
give them traR
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Luke McLuke Saws

Luxe mCLuke says
About the only time a woman doesn't
mind having reflections cast upon her
is when they come from her mirror.
a lot of people are puzzled over the
enormous Dry vote pollcd i'll Ohio this
year, but it is easily explained Rich
mond Pearson Hobson failed to help
the Vets by Stumping the state for the
Drys
When we say that a man is too fresh
we usually mean that he is spelling for
a fight
1t must be wonderful to he a young
woman of marriageabe age and not
know what your name will be year
hence.
II doesn't take many months OF mar
ried life to transform the kiss of love
into the kiss of investigation
Another reason why we love a Corn
Fed girl Is because it is easier to live
with 200 pounds Of curves than with
100 pounds of nerves.
The world is always willing to ad-
NIT that the man who admits he is
wrong is all right,
An oid-timer, Ovbo has been through
the mill, has to laugh when he hears
fellows in the middle wenties begin
to tell hard luck stories.
A man uses lot OF judgment about
buying cigars. And a woman uses a
lot Of Judgment about buying hats.
But neither can use that much judg
ment about selecting a husband for
their daughter
The old-taShoned man who used to
wonder how the other half exists now
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Our Daily Birthday Party.

Major General Sir John +. Capper
X {. B., who is the director general OF
the famous tank" corps OF the British
army, born fifty-six years ago today.
Sir Edward Wellington, who has
served as private secretary to Queen
Mary since her accession TO the throne
in 1910, born sixty-three years ago to-
day
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Diplomacy.

'They tell me that you insulted that
big bully Brown and got away with
it, said Smith, How did you do II? ?"
81 used diplomatic language" re-
piled Jones. 81 knew he would whip
me if | called him an ass, so | merely
informed him that Samson secured his
famous weapon from one Of Browns
ancestors, And Brown thought | was
complimenting him"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Our Ioe Miller Contest.

r. II. Layne claims that the Oldest
Joke is the one about the man who at
tended a party and the daughter of the
hostess sat down at. the piano and be
gan to yowl: MY Old Kentucky
Home" The hostess noticed that the
man was sitting in corner weeping,
and said to him in a sympathetic
voice: Are you weeping because you
are a Kentuckian" No" was the re
ply 81 am weeping because am a
musician"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Fond Mothcg (reading Our cap
tain is one of the best, and we're read
to follow him to II ! suppose 4
means the Hindenburg line.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Oh

"A sailors all nt sea on land"
A landsman said 10 me,
But | would have you understand,
I'm all at sea al sea"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
One Year Ago Today in the War.

David Lloyd George formally ac-
cepted the British post of prime minis
ter and first lord of the treasury; an
swering United States protest, Germany
admitted sinking the Arabia but CON
tended she thought it transport
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Lines Worth Remembering

Let us not run out OF the path O
duty lest we run into the way OF dan
Rowland Hill
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Giddapi

A fellow who rode In brOugham,
Had a coRchmRn ~ well as n grougham,
The broughHm was quite wide,
And quite lengthy beside.
For this fellow desired lots OF rOuRham
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

There is regret that Rumania inclnes to Join Russia
in the fool peace move but it is going add to the kaiser
difficulties in finding someone he can whip.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Here lately the sarmst has good deal toework on,
and for that reason should be the emphatcally
squelched This is time when all should keep then
heads on straight
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

bill seemed excessive, and Jones
kicked vigorously Whereupon the
upholsterer said something about war
tacks" And Jones, being a pay-triot,
settled without a murmur Ell Jay-El
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
The Wise Fool.

"There is plenty OF room at the top"
observed the Sage.
Maybe" commented the Fool "But
we are all fighting for lower berths" ="
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Bless Her Heartl

Miss Ethel Leglnskl a pianist Of the
yirtuous class, played before a large
audience and scored pianstic tri-
umph,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

At the Kansas City poultry show pullet sold for 500
but many X C. chickens have cost LOT than that
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

, Remember that the Knights Of Columbus fund is for
all the soldiers the same the Y. NJ c. A. fund. And all
the soldiers are for America.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Mean BruLel

ut isn't true that women are fond OF
retailing gossip" said Mrs. Gabb
> That's right" agreed Mr.. Gabb,
Most of them would rather whole
sale it,"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Smartcr-What is a Scotch mist2
SMART give it up.
Smarter--It is the mist that enters a
Scotchman's eyes when IT is his turn
to buy-Ball Crank
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

II Is apparent that the railroads need money some OF
them at least meet the needs Of But the railroads
have nothing on the rest of us, at that
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Rural carriers asking for pay account of
the l. C. Of l., which has total disregard for govern
ment employees or other bulwarks and palladiums.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Oh. Joyl

Mozart informs us that il we want
to reach the Pearly Gates We had bet
ter go to East Pittsburg, Pa, and APP
ply to the Heaven Express company
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Football claimed twelve victims this year which is less
than usual but sufficient to reconcile to the fact he
has outgrown that strenuous pastime
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
OLDSToRIBS.
INNEWTYpH
Twenty Years Ago.
.1f0m ZNe TIMES FILES

Twenty Years Ago.
The marriage license fees in the
probate court average $l3 per month, an
average Of l0Ii marriages in this county
monthly.
John Oman departed lsst night for
Kansas City where he will meet his
daughter Miss Lou, who is returning
from a visit in Iowa.
Major Neal of Darlington is visiting
friends IN the city today
d +. Harness today closed out iiS
store in Lexington and will come to
Oklahoma City 10 take charge of the
Oklahoma City Produce Co., Of which
firm he is a member
Fifteen Years Ago.
Mr. J H. Everest OF this city went
to Wichita the first Of this week AMI
on Wednesday night was married %
Miss Helen 6. Cormack of that city.
The ceremony was beautifully conducted
and very Impressive The guests from
Oklahoma City were Mrs Lamb, Mr..
Classen Mr.. and Mrs. {. II. Everest,
Mr. and Mrs Everest will be at homc
at 42O Pottowatomle till after Christ
mas when they have planned a trip to
Florida
Capitol Hill now boasts of having
ninety-thrce dwellings, five stores, one
lumber yard, one school house, one
church, one hotel and two more
churches Y be built in the spring.
II. L. Conn of Van Vert, Ohio, is
visiting his brother in law viii s..
Guthrie
Ten Years Ago.
Mr. and Mrs. J. Franklin Harbour
had as their guests last evening Mr..
and Mrs & b. Ames and Mrs, Henry
Oyerholser
Mr. and Mrs W. 7. S Hunt are now
occupying their new residence at H5l
ClaSSen boulevard and hope to receive
all their friends in their new home.
Santa Claus brought Mr.. and Mrs.
w D. Eastand their Christmas gift
little early and they have a perfectly
lovely baby girl at their home She
weighs nine pounds.
Mr. and Mrs George Lewis Cooke,
who were injured in a runaway acci-
dent last week, are recovering from
their injuries Mrs. Cooke, with the
aid of a crutch lis able to be about the
house.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Well W ELL

b. A. German and G C. Paris dwell
in peace and harmony in Hyatt, Tenn.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Why doesn't some magazine editor shS flash Of
originality, and use soldier picture for design
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
'HiST0RYBITSS
One Hundred Years Ago Today.

one hundred Years Ago Today.
l8l7-Edward Tuckerman, famous
botanist, born in Bosten Died at Am
herst, Mass, March IS, 1880.
Seventy-five Years Ago Today.
l842-England observed the tercen-
tenary OF Mary, Queen OF Scots
Fifty Years Ago Today.
l867-Rcar Admiral James S. Pal
mer, U. S D., who commanded the first
division OF ironclads at the capture OF
Mobile died at St Thomas, W. l.
Born in New Jersey in 1910.
Twenty-Five Years Ago Today.
lS92-David R. Hill of New York in
troduccd a bill in the United States
senate to repeal the Sherman silver law.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Oil prices however not the only prices making new
altitude records, an ultimate consumer sighs.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
'CUKFM:EUKF
-'HS COLUMN
Copyright f%7
Cheer Upl

Cheer up
Don't worry, Bill.
We're sure tO win,
Old Glory will
Fly o'er Berlin.
Don't fear the Hun.
Stick out your chin
This war IA won,
80 wear a grin.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Mercyl

He surely II q henpecked hound
His wife keeps nagging Henry Ham
med
He often dams IT, hut he's. found
Her flow ~ language can't he damned.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Warirell

The upholsterer presented Jones
with a bill for services rendered The
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Names Is Names.
Our Daily SneciaI

I. o Coyne lives at Tacoma, Wash
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Strange

As through this old world philosopher
rOHmH.
lie finds many things quite unfair;
While horses have hair, they have not
d any combs
While roosters have combs but no hair
Luke MCLuke.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Locked safe in the cellar Ia coy. warm
plaCeD
Right next 10 the furnace there lies
An Irish potato. without any face
But the dRdblaHted tuber has eyes
Minneapolis Labor Review.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
The Russian Of II.

The Russian Of II.
Office of General Manager
Great Siberian Lines
Kerenski.
Section Foreman-2j-Z.
Order-Hereaiter cut out all nom
essentials in your reports Get down to
facts, leaving %ur private opinion at
home, RemcmN<a.-a1eyity-B Breyity-
'Brevity--Bolski g. NJ, G. s r,
Bolski
G.. NJ G. 6. l.
Ofiaginski, Onaganski, Goneagain'ki,
-Kerenski, &. f. +.
Cranky.
lie ls a cranky man, is Dee
II must affect his liver;
But pity him, he has to he.
Because he owns n fliver-Ali.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Noticel

II she has no objection, we would like
to have Della A, Card Of Tacoma,
Wash, preside over one OF the stud
games in the Club.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

OUT UHIIy optUIdI.
About the Time You Think You
Have the World at Your Feet Your
Foot Slips.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Surel

Sure
II you're not blind,
You'll find this true;
Two of n kind
Are %.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07
Fifteen Years Ago.

Capitol Hill now boasts of having
ninety-thrce dwellings, five stores, one
lumber yard, one school house, one
church, one hotel and two more
churches Y be built in the spring
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Mr. and Mrs George Lewis Cooke,
who were injured in runaway acci-
dent last week are recovering from
their injuries Mrs. Cooke, with the
aid of crutrh is able to be about the
hnnSr
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

D. +. Harness today closed out iis
store in Lexington and will come to
Oklahoma City to take charge of the
Oklahoma City Produce Co., Of which
firm he is a member.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Major Neal of Darlington is visiting
friends in the city today
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1917-12-07

Santa Claus brought Mr.. and Mrs.
w. d, Eastland their Christmas gift
little early and they have a perfectly
lovely baby girl at their home. She
weighs nine pounds.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1917-06-05
F|Tz & SON
COMING To
CARY CIRCUS

IN these parlous days of biff. bingo
and bang, glove man who weighs only
$50 pounds sticks pretty close to his
division.
One usually thinks of Bob Fitzsim-
mons as one of those terrible heavy
weights" They remember his pictures
as depicting g stripping six footer. with
enormous shoulders. arms and hands.
They remember his defeats of such
giants as Peter Maher. Tom Sharkey.
Jim Corbett Ed Dunkhorst and Gus
Rubin And they form an opinion that
the Australian blacksmith was one of
the Willard type of lighting machines
a giant of flesh end bone.
1t makes Ruby Bob all the more re-
markable. then. when it becomes known
that he usually battled the giants of
the irng at 155 pounds: that he never
weighed over 100 in his life and N
most of his fights. he weighed less
than $50, The size of Mike Gibbons.
Packey Mcfarland. Mike O'Dowd. Ted
Lewis. Jack Britton-and only a few
pounds heavier than Freddie Welsh.
Just digest this statement. which is
almost unbelievable.
Imagine the lanky Australian black
smith battling men of the Jenr1es and
Dunkhorst type when he weighed only
six pounds more than did Freddie
welsh, lightweight champion, when the
latter fought johnnie Kilbane in New
York in April
F'itzsimmons. who is making the 1917
tour with the Sells-Floto circus. today
is the same active. hard hitting boxer
who is conceded to be the champion of
all champions. Although almost 81
years old. he sti1l boxes with a vim and
vigor and. with Bob jr.. himself
physical giant. IS able to put up a fast
and clever exhibition of the Queens
bury code He weighs only slightly
more tain 100 pounds today. showing
that Fitz has taken good care of him
self since his days of ring activity.
ITitzsimmons and his son will he at
Gary with the Sells-Floto circus Thurs
day. June Z.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1917-06-05
(SR2zRSsILzgNG RX|!G!E}EZZ|Z
FIRST AMERICAN CHAMPION
OF AUSTRALIA IS CLAbBY

Jim Clahby, SIR. of Hammond today
received copy Of The Referee of
Sydney. Australia, giving an account by
w z. Corbett of the Jimmy Clabby-
Tommy Uren battle which ,the Indiana
boy won making him the champion of
the country. II says in part;
I'VE have a new middleweight cham
pion in the person of Jimmy Clabby.
and he is the first American TO hold an
Australian title. Fritz Holland was
once, for some time. wrongly. and with
out the remotest foundation in fact.
credited with the ownership of the same
distinction. This. too. while Les Darcy.
the legitimate winner of the honors, was
yet with US and going strong
Before a larger crowd than is usual
~ seen at the Stadium nowadays. Clab-
by. on Saturday night last. proved a
greater force than Tommy Cren. from
whom the 160-pound crown was wrest-
ed. and his wider and longer experience
of tn eways of the 24-foot square en-
abled him, for the most part. to out
general his adversary slightly where
nearly all the battling occurred-at
closer quarters. and in holds, as a rule.
But he found Uren a hard nut 10 crack.
so hard that. reckoning UP the points oc-
casionaIy presented something of an
abstruse calculation. Referee Arthur
Scott was now and again seen between
rounds with his considering cap on. and
thinking hard before he noted his i'm
pressions in figures.