Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1917-03-08

BY MARY AQUN

That's what some one christened It.
don't remember whether it was one of
tine home guards or not. The -'itis. OF
course, is meant TO imply disease, as
au the ailments worth noticing in our
newspaper coIumns-exeept plebian
smallpox, which viii butt into excIu-
sive crowds at wilJ-have tits endings
to their suTnames- But Chapliuitis is
scarcely an operative case, In fact,
there is little remedy for IT. It Is near
er being second cousin TO that other
dread disease loveitis, and which
next TO ChapHuitis, we are perfectly
willing TO confess. for the benefit OF
Mrs Thompson, lis the only disease we
really enjoyed. in the old-fashioued
sense Of enjoying poor health
Always rebel, we recall quite dis
Iinctiy during our seventh year the ad-
vice Of the neighborh0od graunies TO
our young and inexperienced mother
that her eldest should be presented
with q ration OF measles, now they
were going the rounds, and have EN-
over with early" SaudE-haired, wa
rery-eyed Jennie Swanson had a fine
line of samples, and though our moth
er made several spectacular attempts
1O drag us TO the scene. she was not
successful i'm visiting the Swansous
accompanied by her wires pined. milf
rant daughter Overcome by the STRAIT
egy Of the grandmothers. Jennie made
her first social calI, after GONZALES
Cence, at our house and though we
promptly had business at the barn, the
fear took and We paid heavily for
our miraculous temper against be-
ing iuoeulated. Thank God. now
adays children are not invited To par
take Of disease. Wonder, sometimes.
how long or how short ahead the time
when there won't be any for auyone2
We've thought it will come just SO
soon as the chief conveyors-pO poverty
and ignorance sIumped into
graves.
Well. TO get back TO our ltises. We
had I0veitis. against which we did not
rebel about two years getting worse
all the time until q sudden cure was
thrust upon us, yet ever since have
been TRYING to run into the germ again
Perhaps it's one OF the childish DIS
eases. also We've had Chaplinlt1s
about the same length Of time and we
believe IE.5 going to last as long as he
Anyway. if anyone attempts TO give
us a cure he viii meet d swift and
awful end
Folk make terrific howl about
Charlie getting q fabulous sum for his
art of making hearts merry but to
his devotees he lis worth O. million a
leg His British brothers are scoring
him in the London Observer and in
other sheets of patriotic music death
dealing for sending $4,000 q few
weeks ago to help the allies. in place
Of crossing the sea battlefield to patter
his funny feet up and down in a trench
where no small hoys could see them
Dr. r---T-r q Fta-H
small boys Of America would give up
their marble money and Sunday schoot
uickels to form "a fund to protect from
the British lion every hair of their
idols head So happy frame or mind
did the Juveniles anticipate last night
at the Majestic that the Nlujer picture
preceding THE Rink was heartily
approved and heavily applauaed by
our aggregation OF little friends. and
when Charlie finally did come on, that
small boy to the end Of as and the
big boy next 10 us had q series OF con
voInft0us that viii do them lasting
good for week, or until Charlie comes
again. Indeed, if the invalEds only
could be germed with ChaplinItis sick
room stock would slump
The sort of fun that Chaplin pre-
sants lis carefully thought out, despite
it's apparent spoutaneity. Youngsters
following the nimble Chaplin never
viii be inspired TO burglaTies and
bold-uDs All the seven deadly sins
and seven deadly virtues are blue-pen-
cfIed. burlesQued. so that the high
lights of petty sham, silly love and
base crime receive their correct pro
portious-just plain IitIeness beneath
the NOTICE of any fuH-blOoded boy
And those clever touches Of what the
elite might term commences that
Chaplin so properly blends are simply
the mot too good for human natures
daily food of the poets description Of
lovely woman.
Should Won go 10 THE Rink" we
assure YOU You viii feel like skating
an the week. And that's much better,