The Washington herald., 1917-11-21
RuooupH
PERnNs

Sara Freeman was wandering
around town Monday evening feeling
very blue. She had worries.
Sara was on hef way to watch
certain house. She suspected that her
husband would call to see his old
sweetheart.
It was not long before she showed
up and went into the house. Sara was
very angry but she said nothing.
She Just waited.
Ten minutes later, someone lit the
gas in the parlor of this house. The
shade was drawn down, but Sara
could see the figure Of her husband
and the other woman very plainly sill
houetted on the shade
Presently friend husband chucked
the woman under the chin. Then he
held her hand. Then both came close
to the shade and partook Of one long
delicious soul kiss.
Sara saw red. She picked up a few
rocks and fired them through the
window narrowly missing the faces.
The woman, Ada Bold, had Sara ar
rested for breaking the window panes.
And poor heartbroken Sara had to
pay a fine of IS.
That Baltimore Oasis.
There must be something fierce
about this Baltimore liquor.
Not only does 1t cost money. but
1t does more damage than any WASH
ington liquor ever sold.
Last Saturday night Frank Bald
and some friends left this ten-miIe
square desert and irrigated their sys-
tenn in the Monumental City. .
When they got back they were
ready for anything that came along.
Especially so with Frank. When he
is sober he is a church sexton.
Leaving his pals on the street cor
ner at 2 a. m. Sunday Frank stag
gered into a "yokamy' joint and
gurgled into the ears of the waiter.
He was thrown out. He landed in
the arms of a policeman. His pals
made themselves scarce.
When they got Frank to the lock-
up. he was very unruly. He planted
his fist on the jaw of one of the cops
and put him to sleep.
1t was necessary to give him the
same dose before he could be han
died. His little trip cost him Just
SIS.
They VIII Tumble.
A few weeks ago Joe Hillman al
most ran over a young woman.
Joe drives a little delivery car. The
near accident happened on Third
street. He got out of the car and
profusely apologized to the woman.
She smiled at him.
He asked her where she lived. She
told him. He came around to see her.
She smiled at him again. These smiles
were making Joe lose his head.
And they were later on, to make
him lose his purse and his job. But
the poor boy didn't know a thing
about that.
One evening last week he stopped
his car at the girls house. Her name
was Marie Crown. She was some
queen" but uncrowned, Joe told his
friends.
When he got back to the boss. Joe
missed $14 he had collected. 1t didn't
occur to him then that Marie had re-
collected from him.
He was fired. After brooding about
1t for a couple of days he went to tell
his troubles to Marie. She was as cool
as an iceburg.
Something whispered in Joe's ear
and he pushed Marie aside and search
ed her room. He found some of his
money. And Marie is in for thirty
days.
The Poison Tongue.
"Jedge, dis man gossiped bout me.
He tole people dat All wuz runnin'
aftah a woman. Dat woman is mar
ried en- wot he said wasn't So
well, you did run after her and
you beat up her husband" said the
court to Albert IIolmes. charged with
assaulting Bates Miller.
Bates Miller was the man whom AL
bert said told tales on him. To clear
himself he went around to the wom-
ans house, got into an argument with
her. and then whipped her husband.
Then Albert hunted up Miller. Mil
Ter denied talking about him. But the
woman's husband accused Miller of
being the man who circulated the
gossip
Miller's jaw was knocked out of
place. Several teeth are missing. And
ever since he was whipped he had had
an awful headache.
Albert has cleared himself of being
a love pirate. But he couldn't clear
himself of the assault charge and was
fined $50.
IT'S A Cruel World.
Louise Manken and Ella Travers
are first cousins.
Louise is married. And Ella would
like to be. She is very ambitious in
this direction.
And instead of getting herself a
single man, she made eyes at Louise's s
husband. At first Louise overlook
ed 1t.
The husband, Clarence, paid very
little attention to Ella at first. But
Ella was very persistent, Louise said.
Sunday he and Ella went to the
movies. They saw a very spoony
picture. During the exhibition the
pair was holding hands.
Suddenly someone tapped Clarence
on the shoulder. He was wanted out
side. He went. While he was gone
Ella got impatient and followed.
When she reached the door she was
knocked over the head. Louise had a
poker hidden in her dress and Ella
got the benefit of it
And Of course Louise was arrested
and Of course she was sent to Jail for
thirty days.