davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
LUKE MpLUKE SAYS

Coneresswoman Jeanette Rankin an- nounces that next year she VIII pc eiecleu to the United States Senate. But sne Il be no novelty in the Senate. The senate already contains a flock of old malos.
 The man who thinks that he IS pelns worked to death always finds tune 70 take an hour off and tell you how busy he is
 Once in a while loves young dream dies of old age when the honeymoon enos.
 It is hard to make a bachelor under stand why some married women are Jeai- ous of their husbands. -
 The lad who sticks around a while after office hours to finish up a job sell dom has to ask for a raise in pay.
 The players on the Housekeepers' team did lot of swatting this season, but the players on the House Fly team managed to cover the usual amount or ground.
 We all know that some horses can run faster than others. But only few or us know the day they are going, to.
 A bride sure does like to have a tot Of fuss made over her wedding. If some brides had their way, the nuptial cere- mony would include a free street parade headed by a steam calliope and free red lemonade to attract crowd.
 When a man signs promissory note it sits down on his door step and waits for him.
 A lot of employees imagine that the boss wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he knew their personal opinion of him. But the fact of the matter is that the boss doesn't care two honks in hades what they think of him.
 The reason why sucker is always broke is because the money he loses is hard cash and the money he wins is easy velvet.
 It won't help much to pray to be deliv- cred from temptation when you have a sneaking idea that 1t isn't going to hurt to open one eye and takesa peek at it.
 When a man is sick he is big baby and wants everybody to quit breathing and wait on him. But when his wife is sick he has grouch and acts as though he was playing the part of the outcast
 ''fNr',-en From Home.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
THE MYSTERIOUS .w1LL1Es.

Col. D. D. Swinton in the Worlds Work.
 During the summer of 1916 an enemy agent trying to tap the wires in England might have been mystified to pick up some such messages as: Twelve Willies reach you today,' or Send tails for six females "Willie," pet cognomen adopted as suitable for the telephone and obviating the use of a code for teie- grams, was suggested by the fact that the first experimental 'Landship" com pleted though equally malevolent. was smaller and less powerful for evil than its immediate uccessor-eventually the type adopted. When the two creaturese were together they gave the ludicrous impress sion of being child and parent of a monstrous and evil brood. Hence, nat uraIly, Little Willie" and Big Willie" The Big Willies' were also somewhat unbiologically classified as males and fe- males, according to their armament. h. cidentally, to help to conceal the destina- ton of the tanks at the stage when any Illusion as to their purpose was pre- cluded, they were painted with the in- scription, With care. To Petrograd." in large Russian characters
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15

they would be in the north than they
 had ever been in the south-how much
 more money they would make-they
 jumped at the chance of finding the pictured Fl Dorado. While there is no way of ascertaining how many ne- groes left Alabama in the exodus, the number was considerable.
 For a month past many of those who went away from the south, in spite of the advice of friends, have been returning. Many of them were disappointed with their new surround ings from the start. The East St. Louis riots and other race troubles were rude awakenings. And now, with a touch of frost in the states north of the Ohio river, the negroes are reminded of winter. They are shivering with the cold. All those who joined in the exodus may not re- turn this fall, but it is safe to assume that a majority of them will. They will have no trouble in finding work either in the cities or in the agricul- tural districts. Once "back home" they will be apt to spend the re- mainder of their days in Dixieland.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
BANKERS AND THE NEW LOAN
By HOLLAND

the United States for money advances through exports to us after the war is ended. But the figures reported from Washington indicate that for some years Canada, Cuba and South America will furnish the larger part in money value of our imports and that several years must elapse before Great Britain can regain her preeminence as an exporting nation to the United States. Therefore, Great Britain and France and probably Italy will be compelled to liquidate their indebtedness to us which is represented by loans of American money.
 At the same time it is inevitable, this man of finance said, that we continue to export commodities in enormous amounts to our allies after the war is ended. Con- ditions of this kind reflect the belief that no matter how large the amount borrowed by the government from the American people may be nevertheless we shall be in very strong financial po- sition after the war is ended, and abun- dantly able to care for the interest upon bonds now issued or yet to be issued for war purposes. M M ss
 Another excellent reason for the preva- lent enthusiasm over the contemplated loan and absence of the kind of doubt which prevailed when the first liberty loan was offered, is to be found in the proceedings of two great conventions, which are to be held at Atlantic City in September. A great body of American business men is to hold one convention and substantially the exclusive topic that will be discussed will be how American business life can best cooperate with the government to the end that the war be successfully prosecute. The admins tration itself looks with such favor upon this gathering that one at least and pos sibly two members of the cabinet will address 1t.
 Later in September the American Bankers association will meet in an- nual convention at Atlantic City. These bankers will bring from all parts of the United States reports which will make 1t clear how far public sentiment ex- tends in favor of supporting the govern ment with all our resources financial and industrial. There will be some ref erence to the remarkable facility with organized only short time after the be- ginning of the war, has aided in mobi- lizing the financial resources of the country and how the federal reserve system will continue to aid, especially in facilitating the floating of the second liberty loan, so that there may be no visible disturbance of the money mar ket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
cAsxlblIaM4@an1lE
A BROTH OF A BOY

To the Editor of the Philadelphia Pub-
 lie Ledger
 Sir: The most stimulating thing about Sammee is his conceit
 A young officer passed me on the street today. I didn't pass him; the act was all his. From the thrust of his nose to the hang of his brooches he was 99.9 perfect-and 1001 aware of 1t. He was irreducibly superciliious. I could have scored three inches on him longitudi- nally and my waise measure surpassed every other dimension he had except his chest. But he didn't even disregard me- He didn't even stare me through mag nificently. I was the flagstone beneats his feet, too flat to be spurned too imponderable to be jumped on, too civilian to be chevied.
 Now, did I sheer on him? Did I grip my own bucolic stick and mutter scorn of his little swagger one, canted at a dissolute angle? Not for an eye blink To the contrary. felt surgent heart- ening, a glow of translated confidence For of all the attributes which equip the soldier no single one can carry him further or carry more before it than thIs same cool arrogance become ig- nited It is the genius of victory be- cause it is the essence of youth. No drive against odds will daunt this ir- resistible vanity, no douche of blood quench it. Exaltation of callowness and inexperience though 1t be, yet does this spirit compass the evocation of men and shall inform the snews of des- tiny.
 Step out, my boy. over me- through me, m me if you like. draft day may come for my nose, too, and we'll sniff in cho- rus Bayonet the Boches with your chin, saber 'em with intolerant eyes; mow 'em down with the cut of your clothes; shoot your cuffs at em; and as for your swagger stick, long may it wave! STANLEY K. WILSON.
 Swarthmore, Pa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
American Troops Are
 Eager for the Fray

l7THE morale of the American 0 troops in France could not be finer. All observers agree that our soldiers are not only undergoing cheerfully intensive training for the trenches, but evidence keen desire to get at the boche as soon as possi- ble.
 This is the spirit which informs the soldiers of democracy--if the unfor- tunate Russians could be possessed of the same feeling their speedy salva- tion would be assured. The Americans know why they are in France and they chafe at the necessary delay which prevents them from plunging into the struggle and aiding the gall lant French who have fought with heroism never surpassed in the worlds history.
 The extreme care shown in fitting our troops for the work they have to do indicates both the seriousness of the undertaking and the desire of our government not to sacrifice brave men needlessly. They will not be sent to the firing line until they have mas tered all the intricacies of modern warfare, but when they do make their appearance, the Germans will be fully aware of that fact.
 The German government, we may be certain, knows great deal about the enormous preparations the United States is making for war. Long since the Prussian war lords were con- vinced that American participation is no idle bluff, regardless of the tenor of their boastful speeches.
 It may be possible that Germany will see the hopelessness. of carrying on the war any longer and may of fer acceptable terms of peace before the full weight of American arms is directed against her, but if her mis- guided rulers succeed in retaining their power over the people, with the consequent prolongation of the war, when America does strike, there in the shell-torn trenches of France, it will shake the Hohenzollern throne to it's foundations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Negroes Returning
 From the North

r71HE exodus of negroes from the
 ll south to the north last spring was greatly regretted by owners of farm land and by employers of labor in the cities and mining districts. Vari- ous causes were assigned for the mi grafton. In the cities the complaint was harsh treatment on the part of the police and sheriff's deputies.
 In Birmingham not few negroes left because of the street tax. That was the most unpopular measure ever enacted into an ordinance. White as well as colored citizens protested against it, and now that it has been repealed it will never be resorted to again.
 The negroes who left the mining district gave as reason for moving into a new section of the country that they could make more money in the nofoh than here. In this they were mistaken, if the cost of living were considered Those negroes who left ihe farm could give no excuse. They simply got tired of letting we'll enough alone and without stopping to think, followed the crowd. Leaders of the race urged the negroes not to leave the south, but being told by labor agents how much more prosperous
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
THE WAY TO ENDURE

By G. K. Chesterton.
 The educated classes have adopted a hideous and heathen custom considering death as too dreadfulSto talk about. and letting it remain secret for each per- son, like some private malformation. The poor, on the contrary, make a great gossip and display about bereavement; and they are right. They have hold of truth of psychology. which is at the back of all the funeral customs of the chill dren of men. The way to lessen sorrow is to make a lot of 1t. The way to en- idure painful crisis is to insist very much that it is a crisis; to permit people who must feel sad at least to feel simpor- tant. In this the poor are simply the priests of the universal civilization, and in their stuffy feasts and solemn chatter ing there is the smell of the baked meatss of Hamlet and the dust and echo of the funeral games of Patroclus
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Must Feed Corn to Stock

T am not so sure that Alabama will reap the full benefit of the big food crops which she has made" said w. B. Castle berry of Taladega.
 It is true that the corn crop Is a rec ord breaker and that velvet beans, pea nuts. sorghum and syrup, and the hay crop make tremendous asset if con- served, but our farmers must learn that to get the most out of corn it must be Ted to hogs; to get the best results from hay, 1t must go into cattle. I feel that the farmers are beginning to travel on the right road. but they have much to learn on the way"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Transforming Harems
 Vexatious Problem

T7HHE high cost of harems is causing J no little concern to the French government. Among the colonial troops serving under the French flag are a number of Mohammedans and followers of other religious beliefs who practice polygamy. The widows of a black soldier who falls in battle are entitled to pensions, but the gov ernment is confronted by the neces- sity of apportioning the sum in a fair and impartial manner.
 According to recent dispatch from Paris, the law allows widows of black soldiers the same amount allowed the widowsof monogamist, but if there are, for instance, four sorrowing widows, each receives about one- fourth of the pension. Naturally, this is not enough to provide for their needs and doesn't seem to be an equi- table division.
 If the widow who has been married longest were given the largest share of her late husbands pension, that would satisfy our western ideas of justice, but it would leave the young est wife, and consequently the favor ite of her late lord, mere pittance.
 It is indeed delicate problem. The occidental mind is appalled, at the very idea of maintaining harem in these distressful times when food, gasoline and other necessities cost so much. Imagine having six wives and each one demanding a town car for her personal use! Even in the orient the harem is coming to be regarded as burdensome expense and for this, if for no other reason, has fallen into disfavor.
 The time may come when there will be comparatively few harems, al- though for musical comedy purposes they must ever survive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Comedy in Demand


 Our season starts Monday, September "A" said Brown Parkes, treasurer of the Jefferson theatre. The opening show will be The Million Dollar Doll snappy musical comedy.
 We have an unusually heavy season In the entire booking, however, the great majority are musical comedies. Oc- casionally we. may have a war play or something of a serious nature. The temper of the people at present, how ever, is something joyful and not the dry and serious type
 An unusually large number of requests have been made for the return engage ment of Twin Beds We will probably have this show but will not be able to announce the dates for sometime. The theatrical going people of the city can rest assured of some excellent shows'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Alabana's s Sweet
 Potato Crop

11H HE more fully Alabama's crop A production is set forth in of ficial estimates the more wonderful seems the result of the efforts of the farmers. A ,oO0-OoO-bushel sweet potato crop as compared with the production of 6,0OO,O0O in 1916 is in- deed prodigious gain.
 When, this states corn crop jumped from 67,OO0,OOO in 1915-the highest record year-to 89,O00,O0O bushels in 1917, it was a remarkable achieve ment on the part of the farmer-a gain of 28.9 per cent. But the sweet potato jump over the yield of 1916 is a 166.6 per cent increase.
 With the aid of the food prepared ness bureau all the big food crops of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Sorghum for Orphans, Home

A man came to me the other day out in the country" said John w. Stewart, superintendent of the Orphans home at Evergreen, and said, The people In my neighborhood asked me to ask you if you could use a barrel of sorghum
 It came out of kind heart but it was a foolish question. Any one ought to know that an institution that has to care for over 150 children could soon use gallons of sorghum for it doesn't take my large family of little ones long to lick the platter clean. I accepted it with thanks. Each year many barrels of sor- ghum and cane syrup are sent to us"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Birmingham's Great Industrial Showing

MO mineral district exception district
 the United operations mngham industries ham at the Birmingham Traffic Birmingham Chattanooga Memphis Nashville the O while admitting Birmingham of small plants than Birmingham other southern city are far bearing assertion
 complaining They
 
 little business depression here when ne country bottom"
 prosperous ndustriesage small industrial activities outstp it by 37 capital against Chatta noogas $52,535,730 Atlantas $29971,000 facilities labor conditions plants that the Birmngham rate than in the times
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
4Red,, Ford Goen I'd Frnnce

Red" Ford. one of Howard colleges famous football players, who has been teaching Latin and Greek at Howard Payne college in Texass passed through Birmingham on Tuesday en route to France" said Jasper c. Hutto
 He goes as one of the Young Mems Christian association college men who speaks French, to do .associational work. He is fine man in every way and pe- culiarly fitted for Young Mems Chris tian association work
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
GOD TIRES OF KINGS

By Emerson. God said, am tired of kings.
 l suffer them no moree, Up to my ear the morning brings
 The outrage of the poor Think ye make this bali
 A field of havoc and war. Where tyrants great and tyrants small Might harry the weak and poor? My angel-his name is Freedom
 Choose him to be your king; He shall cut pathways east and west
 And fend you with his wing. I will have never noble.
 No lineage counted great; Fishers and choppers and ploughmen
 Shall constitute a state Come east and west and north,
 By races as snOwflakes, And carry my purpose forth,
 Which neither halts nor shakes. My will fulfilled shall be-,
 For in daylight or in dark, My thunderbolt has eyes to see
 Ills way home to the mark.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Last Deer in St. Clair

T class myself as Nimrod," said La fayette Cook, the PeI City banker, 'but the last deer I killed in St. Clair county was in 1874, and my last deer hunt was in 1889, when I went out into the great Chamberlain basin in Idaho There l found that the deer had become so tame that it was rather poor sport. I had to watch closely to keep from killing more than the game laws allowed. miss the tlrne when could go back in the noun tains around Cook Springs and get good sport"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15

BEGINNING THE DAY-Grant, O Lord, that I may use all of the heavenly colOrs and the lovely melo- dies and the fair forms of this day as invitations to be sweeter and gcntler and finer. Speak to me through all the beauty of Thy world, and may Thy voice echo in all my living. In Christ's name. Amens-H. M. E..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
THE MODERN WAY.

Time was when despots ruled Ine earth And simple men bowed down before
 them; And what is more, seemed quite, content To have crowned head reigning OCT
 them. But wondrous changes have been
 wrought,
 Into the dust the tyrants tumble. While most kings who retain their jobs These latter days are meek and humble
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
TRUE ELoQUENcE.

Reginald Grabcoin asked me to marry him last night" said Miss Calder. I've never heard more eloquent proposal in my life"
 Did he use flowery language?"
 "oh, no. He said, Miss Gadder-Mar- iorie-my father is worth slooOOOOo and I'm his sole heir
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15

I Alabama should be marketed to ad- vantage If the commission merchant or the representative of the consumer does not grab for everything of food value at harvest time he will little later on. Before the winter is over every bushel of grain and every bushel of potatoes raised in the south will bring a fancy price. Let the farmer keep his equilibrium and all will come out we'll.
 With the splendid success of Ala bama's activities this year the crops of 1918 will show good increases, weather conditions permitting. All that is needed is encouragement for the farmer in marketing his crops. If he gets good prices this fall the next corn crop will be around the 100, ,000, ,000-bushel mark and the next sweet potato crop up to the 25,O0O,- 000-bushel mark.
 The Kaiser may have thought the col onel was pleased when he reviewed the VIII I.a1.z expression on the colonel's face when he reviews American troops
 *
 General Korniloff sprang from the common people, yet the Kerensky ad- herents would have us believe that he tried to go back on the common peo- pie.
 The proposed tax of $4,5000oO on pipe line transportation won't interfere with the sale of liquor in dry communities. It isn't being transported through pipes yet.
 ~~e-ASOA ready done so, they had better tell him that the Liberty motor promises to put the Hohenzollerns out of business.
 * A The prediction made sometime ago that if Prof. Scott Nearing were given enough rope he would hang himself, seems about to be verified American soldiers In France think 0 lot of Frenchnen, but they can't stand the poilu's smokes. Moral: Subscribe to The Age-Heralds tobacco fund.
 
 The Vigiiantes are also on the trail Of MT. Hearst who wouldn't feel natural if somebody wasn't giving him Hail Columbia" 24 hours a day.
  Latest pictures of MT. Hoover show that he is bearing up remarkably well under the strain of conserving the na- tion's food supply. Colonel George Bailey of the Houston Post receives a circus with open arms the beauteous bareback riders and ey- erything "Ben-Hur'' is coming down the line again. That will enable unsophisticated persons to make wagers on the chariot race. If Count Luxburg escapes from Ar gentina without having to dodge a few he may count himself lucky.
 < * American guns are roaring in France. but our gunners will not be satisfied until they begin to pulverize the Boche. If George Creel keeps on making he will never be able to get another job on real newspaper.
 
 If the Czar's janitor wants to get even with him, Nicholas Romanoff won't have much heat this winter.
 
 Over in dryest Atlanta the blind tiger continues to flourish. Is somebody wink ing at the tigers?
 |
 The shortage of metals in Germany evil dently doesn't include brass.
 *
 It's about time to lay away the old fly swatter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
HUMAN AFTER ALL.

HUMAN. AFTER ALL. A kindly man Was Abner Blue, Except, of course. When bills fell due, Twas then he showed A temper hot And much bewailed His luckless lot.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. A goodly man Was Ezra Boggs Except when he Was driving hogs. The stubborn things His patience wear, And then, by jings, He's apt to swear.
 Newark (O.) Advocate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
NoT so coMMENpARLE.

NOT so COMMENDABLE.
 'We'il have to raise Jobbles salary" said the head of the firm, T notice he stays in the office every night long after all our other clerks have gone.'
 Don't be in too big hurry to reward him." said the junior member. "Jobbles has a swarm of relatives spending a month at his house and he uses us as an excuse for staying away from home.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1917-09-15
Member of the Associated Press

Member of the Associated Press
 The Age-Herald is the only morning and Sunday newspaper in Birmingham carrying the. Associated Press dis patches.
 The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all news credited to 1t or not other wise credited in this paper and also the local news published herein.
 All rights of republication of spe- ctal dispatches herein are also re- served.