Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1917-03-20
Quien Sabe
HIS COLYUM
-
SOLE YATES.

SOLE YATES.
The girl | love
Resembles me.
] weigh one hundred
Sixty three.
And 80 does she.
My arm when placed
Around her waist
Just fits-it's just
As long. we've found.
As she is round.
The very shoes
Upon her feet.
So sweet" fleet
Are number nine
The same as mine.
There now hangs on the west wall of my
chaste boudoir = placard in grey art board.
Glued On the card il a real Cuesta Rey cigar.
~tettered on the card appears this strange de-
vice:
Cigar
Given Ne
by
John Kendrick Bangs
Recognition
of
Distinguished Services
Writing Him Up.
4
a captain If the Fourth Infantry halted me
on the street Monday aud spake ominous words
"iou printed something in that paper ~
Yours " said he IN his best blood
curdling tones aud ] began 10
So visions " outraged womanhood and en-
ragged manhood. seeking my scalp In horror
and haste | wondered where III that outrageous
society c"lyum that ! also engineer | could
have said anything to bring a blush Or a flush
to the chaste cheek If the infantry line.
But the blacklist moment passes. and n he
went IN drclaiming il grew clear e. me that
h. was holding forth On nothing more scan
dalnus than u statement | had made IN this
Culyum concerning the Lewis machine gun.
| came out from the shelter IF the adjacent
awning pillar behind whose friendly strength
] had unconsciously edged at his first brutal
outburst. ana ut him tell me AL about the re-
suits If his personal pryings into the private
Hfr III machine guns. which %pryings. ~ avrrred.
had lowered his respect for Colonel L.ewis's
gun clear down into the bottom ~ the bulb.
confined my comment. necessarily, To we'll
timed mods and attempts % twist the Old map
int" a look Of intelligent understanding. When
d. had finished ! p%roffrrrd fcrhly that All J had
done was a. call. in 4 burlesque essay on our
navy. thu Lewis dcath- hose. the worlds best
seller IN machine guns" That | still maintain
il fact. hut the captain does not. lie main
tanned tie contrary with enthusiasm and elan
for another five minutes.
All | could gather from him was that a lead
sauirtrr called the "Riurt" was it's the
best by every test. | had a confused notion
that \ .Biurt test" was \ test for insanity. !
somehow hesitatcd To spring that little jewel
On the captain. The passers-hy were staring
and H. was becoming a bit scIf-conscious by
this time.
~ | hastily agreed WIFI everything Ht h""
said in his mastery acknowledgements m The
machine gun. and apologized for everything L
had said about machine guns in my mastery
treatise ~ the navy. Why not! A. a matter
of fact | know nothing ~ al about the ma
chine gun. but then neither do ! know any
thing about the navy.
However. I'll tell the world this: II ever in
this inland port | see an officer % the navy.
who might possibly have read that article 81
mine. bearing down ~ me on the public thor
oughfare. I shall hastily dig 4 deep hole in the
sidewalk with my bare hands. crawl ~ and
pull the hole III after me. If one army officer
can cause nae that much mental anguish about
one paragraph "a one machine gun. how much
could a naval officer cause about a whole treat
ise w thr entire navy: | ask 10 know: | ex-
pect no answer.
SHORT STOPS.
Sheer not AZ the imperfections Of 9th