The Columbus courier. [volume] (Columbus, Luna County, N.M.) 1911-1920, 1917-04-06
WONDER OF INFANT
How One Ever lives to Grow Up
PulIlss the Married Man.
pshy nss - Merry Halrtrssdth &c
sapes Every psy a. Heroine IN
elcodcurdllna Movie DRAINS.


-
The married man dropped on . rark
bench bestde bic bachelor friend. gasp
inr for breath and wiplnr the cold pcg-
.pirsticu from his forehead He had
iust spirited W wards 60 rescue q baby
from the sftack ~ = hlg, vlcious mon
.rei which had attempted to snatch y
cracser from him. BEFORE nv bad
reached the scene tho hehy had
cracked the dog on the nose with n
spcon and rent n bowling out q the
park.
u never could ngure on, how babies
ever live 10 grow M" be confessed
lighting = cigarette with hands thst
atlli shook The heroine Of The Dan
gers ~ Daphne aud those other blood
curdiing thrlflers 10 moi, have more "a
Ventures IN = reel than . baby has In
= dsv And yet I cant remember ever
having seen 9 really Damaged baby
They can chew everything from
glassware y sofa cushions with every
IGN " satisfaction and contcntment
only rarely do they have to- be
bumped on the hack or shaken upside
down. Apparently they have tho n
sesiion " q stone crusher or v con
crete mixer. They seem 10 Net more
nutriment ont NJ = bedroom slipper or
= newspaper than n regular human
being could derive from . New Ems
land boiled diuner.
HTkaw a.w .raaI 5000 $500
rconful n people without ever fettinR
stepped on and eau pull n cats tail
With lmpunity. I have seen 4 baby
cllmh out of = hlgh chnir or crib aud
fall more than Ne own height without
appnrcnt Inconvenience. II doesn't
natter whether n lands on head, hack
" side A drop Of the same sort
sculd probably lay w an athlete for q
couple of weeks A. the lcnst.
Another thing about babies ! can't
understand IA that they are apparently
Spartans or else lmpcrvious 10 pain. !
have never yet see n baby cry after
my mishsp unless somebody was look
ing ~ A.
They Gao run full az into a chair
and regard II ~ a huge Joke. ! have
seen = baby who wes tumhled over hi
the front wheel Of an automobile get
~ chuckllng and demanding moFe, A
pair Of twins I knew were fond ~ ait
ting together on the floor TO bang each
other nmicably with building blocks.
"of course n somebody picks N y
baby after n has banged itself and
sympathiEes with n and rubs the hurt
port II begins to realize something IL
wrong and yells, usually on the chanc,
Of getting a graham cracker or Other
delicacy.
u am not denying that they cry y
good deal, but ! am convinced that
they do Il only on the theory that II
pays 70 advertise A baby win cry in.
dustriously for long periods for what
n wants. hut rarely wastes many tears
because Il has hurt itself.
some babies, older and more expert.
enccd 10 the ways Of the world than
others. will sneak a hasty look around
the room after they have fallen down
and bumped themselves, sum up theif
chances Of getting either o bite 10 eat
or Q reproving spank, and then either
emit heartrending cries or crawl Into
seciusion under o table,
AS they grow older they get more
and more into the habit Of making II
known when they are hurt. when they
reach the age Of fourteen or ~ they
are nearly as much IN need OF gym.
patty as grown men who almost With
out exception roam around the world
hunting for somebody to tell their hard,
luck story to and very frequently yell
long before they are hurt"