Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1917-02-16

~ L v III AAot ao1A
are of the same order as the people OF
India, who believe that the wife should
die on the funeral pyre of her husband
| may be weaker than some women
or l may be stronger. Possibly F.! may
have less depth of feeling, though that
I will not admit. | saw only ia nursing
my grief a dreadful life before me. L
recognized the principle that no Two
absorbing ideas can Occupy the Dram
at one time. | did all tHat / could TO.
interest myself in what was about me.
True, l did not at first succt ed and
when l did only partially so. / dread
ed the word forget, and yet l realized
that to avoid suffering | must tempo
rarily forget. l forced myself TO feeb
that after q time | would be reunited
with my loved mes and that mean
while | must. except occasionally. put
them out of my mind.
| made my home abroad. Three
years after my bereavement l mar led
again. l did SO partly because l was
lonely. partly because l wished for a.
man to rely upon. as is natural TO any
woman partly because the man | mar
ried assured me that | could give him.
an interest in life and, lastly, because
| became attached to him He was an
American. like myself. and. being
wealthy. gave himself up to study.
He lived abroad that he might write
books which required his presence
among the subjects of which he wrote.
For five years after our marriage we
continued our residence abroad. Dur
ing this period children were BORN to-
us. There was a tacit mutual agree
ment between us that | should not talk
about the world in which | had lived.
saw that he would rather leave that
to me, considering himself as having no
part In 1t, and l had no desire to make
him a part of it. He was absorbed in
his literary work, and If l ever told
him even where | had lived he soon
forgot it.
Then he was called to America on
a matter of some property that need
ed his attention. 1t was agreed be-
tween us that he should leave me and
our children in Lucerne, where we
were then living. He expected to be
absent not more than two months, but
soon after his arrival in America he
was induced to write for a publisher
a work necessitating his presence in
America. He suggested my coming
home with the children, but left me-
to consult my own feelings in the mat
ter.
I had never intended to return to the
United States. dreading lest 1t should
reawaken me to my lost world. But
with a husband and children that
world had receded further and further
from me till the consciousness of 1t
had grown very dim l wrote my bis
band that l would go back to the
western hemisphere and remain there
| was tired of moving about from n
place to another, and the children were
coming to that age when they should
have steady instruction at school. Our
boys | preferred to bring up In Amer
lea. | therefore suggested to my hus-
band that he buy a place in which we
might settle. He replied that he agreed
with me and would carry out my sug-
SCDllOho. ~ liz N1OlC Tx LhdL LIZ
had bought a place in the suburbs of
the city wherein it would be necessary
for him to do his work.
We arrived after dark. l was de-
lighted at our reunion, as were the
father and the children. | did not ask
where Il home was to be. [ intend
ed to be satisfied with it, pleased with
it, wherever it was. We took a train
and in less than an hour alighted at
a station, where a carriage was wait
ing for US. 1t was very dark when we
reached u home, and | saw nothing
of it till l stood in the hall. Then 1
caught at a banister to prevent my
falling.
l was in the house l had left more
than ten years before with a blighted
heart.
MY dearr' exclaimed my husband.
starting toward me.
But in a %twinkling 1 had recovered
myself. And what had enabled me to
do so? The sudden appearance of an
object. All, those objects that come to-
us! How much more valuable often
times than realization! must at least
for the present spare my good man
the inexpressible pain of knowing
what he had brought upon me.
Nothing" | replied. "a little giddi-
ness at having been so long rolling at
sea-"
Nothing you don't like, is there ?'~
he asked anXiously.
"On the contrary, l am very well
pleased. Let us see the rest of it."
He took me into every room in the
house, a house that had beer sold
twice since l had parted with it and
both times with the furniture includ-
ed. Not for the world would l have
betrayed that these rooms, closets, cor
ners. with every bed. table, bureau,
had been familiar to me from child
hood. But when it was Over l passed