davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
WILLING TO SELL.

Gertie-You ought to get some
thing for that cold, BERTHE.
Bertie-Well, how much will you
give me Sketch.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
JUST A LITTLE.

"Matt sure has nerve, hasn't he? ?"
81 guess yes. The other day he
asked an automobile salesman for a
sample" THE Lamb.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
APPROPRIATE EJACULATION.

Dentiat--Arc you game, sir? For
You'll have to have all your upper
teeth pulled out.
Patient-Then I'll do it, by guml
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
STILL SOME HOPE.

She-The man Imarry must be a
hero.
He-Don't be discouraged. 1t isn't
as bad as at.-Burr.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
DURATION.

Venus-How long have you been
in the army?
Mars-Oh, about three cheque
books.-London Punch.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
BY COMPARISON.

"Did you miss your first husband
very much?"
"Not until after l married my
second"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
CONSIDERATE GIRL.

"Did you scream when he tried to
kiss you?"
"No; there's poor man in the
next fiat who is very sick"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
REJECTED.

He-How'd you like a pet dog?
She-Now, Charlie, haven't | told
rou that | don't intend to marry?
Express.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
OLD AcQUAINTANcES.

Schulze-Say, Joe, have the fac
ulty met yet?
Joe-Sure. They've been friends
for years.-Yale Record.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
AMATEURS WALL.

He-Somcbody has pulled up the
beans.
She-Oh. John-not both of
them Judge.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
GOT MoNoToNoUS.

'Why don't you call your hotel
THE Breakers any more?"
cav, everybody had to crack all
,llcged joke as he paid his bill.''
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
lMPoSSl BILITY.

81 understand his wife is an inn
possible creature"
"Ouite so. She is his intellectual
inferior"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
FORCE OF NECESSITY.

81 wonder how the real facts in
that story came to leak out"
81 guess it was because it
wouldn't hold water"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
EoUlVOCAL.

"Mis Flirty seems to have had
some very lurid adventures.
"Come, now, she's not really as
red as she's painted"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
WELL EXEMPTED.

"I see they have decided not to
draft the blanket Indians"
"Just as well. They would be
continually running to cover"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
Fresh New Lumber

the largest and most uptodae in our business history
and includes all standard sizes and styles in hemlock
=. 7ine yellow pine, and such other woods as special
Hay require and all the prices are surprisingly low
GU consider the quality and the way everything else
IvanCed in cost Our
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
DRY TO HIM.

"Is this a dry town ?"
care you q stranger here?"
81 am"
at is"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
NO DISTINCTION.

"Is there any place where man
honestly believes a woman is his
equal?"
Certainly. The tax Office"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
A LONG ONE.

"See the peafowl. Hasn't the bird
a beautiful dress?"
eyes, mamma" said the little
girl. "Wears train, too"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
CAUSE AND EFFECT.

"Do you sing to your baby when
he cries?"
"No, he cries when l sing to him"
Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
STRICTLY BUSINESS.

"Does our hostess play bridge
whist?"
"No; she doesn't play it, she works
it."
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29

Mr.. Milk Bottle-Why, Mr.. Rye /
| thought you were a family liquor.
Mr.. Rye-Sho' | wush. But an
unscrupulous barkeeper reflled me
with tanglefoot (Hic.)
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
WOULD HELP.

"They say history repeats itself"
81 wish it would repeat today's
lesson for me. | can't do it, if the
professor calls ON me-"
The Lambertville record., 1917-11-29
,ofing Materials

slate shingles and several kinds of prepared roongs
nch for many purposes superior to either slate or
nnges and less cost The use of prepared rcohngs IS
growing and only cheap kinds for cheap
structon but the costly kinds that last as well as any
oher roofing and always give satisfaction, We will show
Won samDles of them all Our line of
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
RULERS OF THREE
MEET
Important Conference Is Wei.
coined BY King Haakpn Who
Says Each Country Small But
Combined They Are Powerful

cfIRtsTlANfA, November S0---( Asso.
Glazed Press The conference Of the
scandinavian countries, participated In
by the kings OF Denmark, Sweden and
this country and the three premiers
and other prominent advisers Of the
three monarchs was opened yesterday,
1T was arranged for the discussion Of
the many serious problems which the
Reotral Scandinavian countries are call.
ed upon TO solve because OF the var
aud 10 devise why's aud means, through
n cooperntion Of interests, to solve them
OF TO mitigate the i'll effects that are
being so seriously felt.
At yesterday 3 session Of the confer
ence King Haakon welcomed bis royal
guests and their advisors, aud King
Gnstave replied. 80. r Eg
( In formally opening the proceedings
King HaakOn referred to the separation
of Norway and Sweden and said that
this was the first time since such separa-
tion that monarch of Sweden had
visited Norway.
Upon the need Of alliance and coop.
eratian he said: % Each Of our couu-
tries is small in itself, we have not
the wealth, the power, the population
which the greater nations enjoy, but,
even IL we are small taken each alone,
taken. together we constitute q force
that must be reekoned with by any
Of the great nations We can and must
command consideration when the ques-
tion of safeguarding and maintaining
our independence and the right TO freely
dispose of our own destinies are con-
cerned. - 2oeE
He commPuted upon the necessity Of
o thorough understanding between the
three Seandinavian powers and the de-
sirability Of strong and hearty co
operation in plans that must be thor.
opghly coordinated for the good Of the
peoples Of all Of their countries.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
MRS. De SAULES GIVES
DINNER WHILE IN JAIL

MINNEOLA, New York. November
30 Associated Press)-Inmates Of the
jail in this little Long Island city had
the best Thanksgiving Day dinner in
their experience Yesterday, when they
were the guests of Mrs. De Saulss. now
on trial for murder Of her late husband,
Jack De Saules, popular club and so.
ciety man and one time star of Yale
football team. There were not many
inmates at the Jail, but the cost of the
dinner served to them was more than a
hundred dollars and was betrayed by
Mrs, De Saules. . y H.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
Use WATERWAYSTO
RELIEVE RAILWAYS
Important Suggestions To Aid
traffic Problems Are Made
In Washington Conference

WASHINGTON, November S0--(As,
soriated Pressl-Plans for the relief of
traffic congestion are going forward, A
conference was held yesterday at which
number Of important suggestions
were made. These include the use Of
inland waterways more extensively than
ever before and the employment Of mo.
tor truck trains where found practical.
Secretary of War Baker proposed
that lake tugs shall be employed to tow
barges through the inland waterways
throughout the winter. If the storms
will permit such traffic through the
Great Lakes in the winter and they
can be kept open through the ice q ev
would be used on the lakes, otherwise
in such other waterways as may be ap-
plicable. ..~. Sd, ..".,'. r@f. ~
Another suggestion was to use motor
truck trains TO tighten the strain on
the railroad freight handling. These
were proposed to be used extensively
In Pennsylvania.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
ANARCHISTS
INVOLVED IN PLOT TO
KILL KING OF ITALY

SEATTLE, November 30 49, CAS-
sociated Press) Explanation Of
the recent rush to purchase can
ned fruits and vegetables has been
found in the propaganda alleged to have
been spread by an Italian anarchistic
society which has strong pro'German ten
denotes. .'-.
Insistent stories TO the effect that
the government was about to seize all
canned fruits and certain other stores
that had reached the housewives of the
city and made them anxious to fill
their larders in advance of such seizure
have been traced by =, M. White, i'm
migration commissioned, to this Italian
society of known ararehistie principles.
Their purpose is supposed to have been
opposition to food conservation pro
gram and to unsettle public sentiment.
1t is believed that this society is fur
ther involved in plans that had been
laid for the assassination of the King
Of Italy.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
BREAD PROF|TEERERS
FACE PROSECUTION
0verCharges Alleged Right In
Wheat Belt

FARGO, North Dakota, November
30 Associated Press)--Though Fargo
is situated right in the heart of the
wheat belt its residents are paying
more for their loaves of bread, getting
less for their money, than are those of
other sections of the country. The food
administration has taken the matter
up and promises reductions.
Bakers we're yesterday notified by
the food administration that they
would have to at once make their
prices conform to actual cost Of pro
duction plus the same reasonable profit
that bakers in other communities are
allowed. The federal authorities said
that a loaf selling for fifteen cents here
is no larger and weighs no more than
the ten cent loaf sold elsewhere and
that bakers faced prosecution in case
Of refusal to make prices conform tc
demands,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
Note DespatchedtO BerinFOr-
eign Office on Request Of
TrOtsky With No Delay
GERMANY IS QUITE READY

YIASHINGTON, November 30( Associated Prcss)Negota
w tons peace Russia and Germany already
under and Sweden is the Intermediary note asking for
has been despatched the Berlin foreign office from the
legation Peograd This conveyed London
in Exchange Telegraph despatch. & mar # .tv
request Trotsky the lieutenant of enne chief
sentative OF the BosheVks and other radical elements which con-
sued the Kereny and peace party the ambassador from
Perograd the intermediary between
Germany negotiations looking towards peace this
despatch said Without delay the Swedish minister acted and
warded foreign Office Berlin proeng which
is be followed by negotiations for peace. T.. 81.
t.4aes# CONFIRMATION FROM BERLIN .f#ts
Practical confirmation of this and indicating the receptive mood
which Germany stands dispatches from Berlin which
that Germany stood ready into negoaons& peace
with Russia and that delays would be placed in Of such
negotiateS Plsse et ths sending sissares to Berlin
with full powers well under way he said and
tnued: ztsf$%y s9 ..r.tR" -a" & E.T.'% -a
1T out wish hope that these efforts will be in such
concrete shape bring about the peace desire"
ASSURES COUNTRIES SELF-GoVERNMENT
Referring the proposed form OF for Luania and
Courand he said We shall respect the right of those people
determine for themselves what they desire and
shall that largely them but shall them give
themselves constitutional form Of government and that will
correspond to their condition and fulfill their needs.
4 BOLSHE-VIKIS FIND EXCUSES
Remarks alleged to have been made confidence by OF the
French Rumania the Russian commanding
eral Of the Ruana forces used in BosheNk newspapers
Pcrogad excusng the seeking of this time
Dispatches from Peograd tell of the publication of article which
pupors quote NJ Henri Bertho chief OF the French military
mission Rumania, under date line OF asSy November 25
saying the Russian he had been requested by
military officials OF France for and them
there"
He did speak he reported said national
missioner but confidence he the patriotism the
highest Russian command when he expressed his belief that
facing the under the conditions which he had
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
SUSPECT MAY HAVE
BEEN GERMAN AGENT
Man Arrested Thought To Have
Been Active In China

LOS ANGELES, November 30-tAs-
sociated Press Karl Frederick Wied,
man, who is believed to have formerly
been a German consular agent in China
and while so engaged to have been also
employed as a eartOonist for various
newspapers in the Orient, and TO later
have enlisted in the United States ser
vice in the. Philippines was arrested
here yesterday.
The arrest of Wiedmau is believed to
have been under presidential warrant
for no information of another warrant
was obtainable from any of the federal
court officials. He has said TO have
been under surveillance almost all Of
the time he has been in this city,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
IUAREz DARKENED
IN FEAR OF VILLA
Troops Sent South To Reinforce
Federals and Many Mexi-
/. cans Cross Rio AGrande

sJUAREZ, Mexico, N0yember 30---,
ifAssaciated lFrss) lJunTezs vas Apfasl-
tically deserted last night with few
soldiers even on the street. The
famous keno game was closed and
lights that usually burned brightly
were ,darkene1. Hundreds have cross
ed over the line to FL Paso and few
| from FL Paso crossed the Rio Grande
last night. There is another Villa alarm
| and many have left in the fear that
Juarez is again to be battle ground
with the once idol of northern Mexico
and later hated bandit as the attacker.
All troops stationed at Juarez have
been hastily sent south to reinforce
the federal troops which are said 10 be
| engaged with Villa whose main com
mand s said to be in the vicinity of
chihuahua City. ..-.l
One. Body Repulsed
Reports that reached here yesterday
afternoon said that u Villista force
had been met and repulsed at Laguna
and there were unconarmed reports of
n battle between federal cavalry and
V lllu mann uOu9 hNhi Shih hu"hu'
City.
When the bandit leader was south
of Presidio reports were received from
there that his next objective was to be
Juarez and he would proceed from
there to Chihuahua City. 1t is con
sidered that he has merely changed hi'
plans sufficiently to attack Chihuahui
City first and that if successful ther,
' will proceed against Juarez.
! Movement Not New
! The Villa movement is new one
phaving no connection with the Feil
DiaZ or other revolutionary move
ments according to Gen. Porfrio Orne
las, permanent commander Of the Oiin
aga garrison. The new movement
called the Conventionist party, and is
> in fact, a revival of the former move
ment by villa called the Conyent ionis
movement, following the convention o
t revolutionary ehieftains at Aguaseali
, entes. " ..}.s =.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
DRAWS RIFLE AND
SHOOTS WHEN ASKED
TO ATTEND MEETING

BILLINGS, Montana, November 80
- Associated Press) Emil Koski, a
Finlander, minor and labor agitator re-
fused yesterday to attend an can't
sedition meeting" and put up armed
resistance when O committee sought to
escort him to it. Tonight he is in Jail
awaiting the action of q coroner 5 jury
and facing charges of murder or at
least of manslaughter.
KOski has been one of the foremost
of the element here that is accused of
having caused serious agitations. Yes
terday a "liberty committee" called
upon him and asked him to attend the
anti,sedition meetingn which was to
he held. This he refused to do and,
seizing a rifle which he had in his
room. he opened fire upon the members
Of the committee. All of his shots
went wild but ope bullet struck Mrs.
Anna Jackson, killing her instantly.
Koski was then disarmed and taken
to jail under arrest. rAaa
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
TwORegirnents
Of Hungarians
Fight Fiercely
Differ In Tongue and Uniform
and Mistake Each Other For
Enemies On Italian Front

ITALIAN NORTHERN HEAD
QUARTERS, November 30--tAs-
sociated Press)-Two Hungarian
regiments fought one another bit
terry and all but exterminated each
other on the Asiago front on Wed
nesday. This became officially
known yesterday. They mistook
each other for enemies and both
were all but wiped out before the
mistake was recognized and they
were drawn apart. .ng a."
Two Hungarian regiments, one
composed Of Czechs and the other
Of Galician Poles, speaking. differ
ent languages and wearing differ
ing uniforms and accoutretnents
came upon one another unexpect-
edly in the midst Of the general
engagement which was in progress
on the Asiago sector. They mis-
took each other for enemies and
each quickly engaged the other.
A terrific hand TO hand en-
counter was soon in progress.
Rifle fire was followed by a charge
and. bayonets and hand grenades
were brought into use. Finally
but not until both regiments had
been decimated, the mistake was
rectifed and they were disentan-
gled and redrawn 70 the rear.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
BREAD AND POTATOES
MUST FEED GERMANS
Supplies Adequate But Restric'
tons Needed

AMSTERDAM, November 30 As
soriated Press)-Germany has an ade
quate food supply for the winter but
many restrictions of diet will have to
be employed TO make it so. The Prus,
sian food regulator, made this state
mrut in Berlin yesterday. @.
In his report on food conditions and
supplies in the empire, Won Waldow
said that the grain reserves would be
larger this winter than they were last
winter and that the potato crop was
satisfactory. Sugar Germany has in
the same amounts as formerly.
The food regulator said that bread
aud potators would have to be the
chief food for the people, Tx
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
FIRE DURING STORM

SIOUX CITY, Iowa, November 30
Associated Press) Fire yesterday oc
casioned losses Of $3.50, 900 IN the busi
ness districts Of this city, Thsre was a
severe storm raging and the firemeu
had to fight the flames from verita
BILE lake Of mud and water.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
BIG GUNS ON
WEST FRONT.
PROMISE NEW
SOON
Heavy Artillery and Raids Won
BY French Reported In Several
Western Sectors Indicating
New Battle Front
BRITISH ARTILLERY is
:. NOW SMELLING CAMBRIA
Italians Are Aggressive and Try
Counters On Huns w Teuton
Defeat Near Seacost Told BY
Rome

NIEW YORK, November 80
IN (Associated Press Signs
of increasing activity multiplied
on the Western Front yesterday
while il Italy aggressiyeness was
displayed by the forces Of Italy
in launching counters against the
common enemy. The Austro-
German forces made no headway
in that theater and the German
official dispatches Of yesterday
issued in Berlin made small men-
ton Of activities in Italy. The
British are shelling Cambrai.
On the Piave River the situa-
tion remained unchanged last
might. The opposing armies had
battled throughout the day. but
the massed attacks Of Teutons
lacked the violence and strength
of Wednesday. .s
TEUToNS REPULSED
Repulse OF strong Teuton
forces with heavy losses north
east Of the seaport Of Avlona was
reported from Rome. This re-
port said that on all sectors the
Italian arms had held their own
during the days conflict.
Dispatches from Berlin show
that the vigor OF the Italians IS
unabated and tell OF counters
made against Monte Tomba
which, they claim, were failures.
CAMBRIA SHELLED
Before Cambrai the British
have brought up their artillery
and are shelling the town. This,
also, is reported from Berlin. 1t
indicates the complete consolida-
ton of the British in their new
positions before the beleaguered
City. -.. -. III.
In Northern Alsace there was
+ an unusually heavy artillery fire
t which was mentioned in the of
fetal report issued in Paris. This
report said that in the Aisne sec
tor there had been a series oI
heavy artillery actions during the
day and that in upper Alsact
i there was an artillery duel q
' magnitude in progress, presagiht
other activity. -.a.:. s...
n FRENCH WIN RAIDS
An enemy raid was repulseC
y, north OF Carnilet while in th'
0 Argonne sector French force
9 successfully raided Germai
& trenches taking a number Of pris
a oners. Il.
n For the past three days, Berlil
v reported, there has been furiou
y artillery conflict near Policapell
o. and on both sides OF the Meust
it A French attack upon Deppe,
Il was said, met with disaster an
re was repulsed, E#, .
ID Bavarian forces were reporte
Sc Sc to have taken prisoners larg
number OF Belgian soldiers. 1.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
DECORATE NURSES

LONDON, November 10 Associated
rressl.-A ribbou decoration for nurses
and women hospital workers is to be
awarded shortly by the rritiSh m'Iitary
authorities.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30
ALLIES BEGIN CONFERENCE
Supreme War Council Is Formed


Paris yesterday with fifteen represented Its
allies
n of the Z
Great
Britain and France and Italy represented will take up the
of win
council and will thus bring about of
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30

" ING HAAKoN Of Norway is host at the Scandinavian
N Conference which opened yesterday Norway. This
will discuss Of the greatest moment the Scan
dnavian countries and policies necesstated by the
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30

ess osntrifueals n. =. per ID. pr -
Price, Hawaiian basis. !. $50 tf3A0o
Lsrt prsvtous quota-
The Hawaiian gazette., 1917-11-30

,i4
The Washington times., 1917-09-21
The New Exiles
By DAVID LAWRENCE.
Many Families Being DpOssed of Their Homes Without Suent
Notice Because of Lack Foresight By the Government.

Emphasis has been placed upon the advantage Go the
Government special board that shall have for its single
duty the housing of bureaus in offices wherein the
important work of the Government be done with some
degree of comfort employees Advantages of economy
also be enumerated but from the viewpoint of the people of
Washington apparent that unless the whole business is
systematically handled great hardship will be imposed
many families
Suddenly to commander apartment house, giving
the tenants weeks notice to entirely uncaled for
yet in two apartment houses families have been given just
that time to seek other places to live The Government
ought to give tenants at least month six weeks espec
ally in these extraordinary times when it not the easiest
matter in the world for eed families to find apartment
house that suitable both to price and location Had
the Government exercised foresight situations such as are
arising would have been avoided There still Is time to
deal with this question because the United States Govern
ment will continue to expand and to requston apartment
buildings
The Washington times., 1917-09-21

how happy l was and how cruelty
/ suffered when it ended.
Silly? OF course, it was silly
so many interesting things are,
aren't they? And yet
remember a very handsome
actor once who said such a nice
thing about the girls who used to
write letters to him and send him
howers and threaten to commit
suicide if he didn't call them up
on the telephone.
Poor things!" he said, they
didn't care a cent for me-they
only thought they did. What they
were in love with was love and
the ideal they had created.
"They saw me always playing
the part of hero, rescuing the FIR
lorn. helping The perishing, MAJ
ing love TO a poor girl with Miss
MIliors angling for me, jumping
The Washington times., 1917-09-21
Save the Time of the Registrants

Now that the War Department has about decided to
anime all the men who June last to de-
termne the number available for future drafts of the Ma
tonal Army it behooves the District authorities here to
plan the examinations with such that there viii be
minimum loss of time to those summoned.
Of the $4,000 registered in the District of Columbia
many are employed in Government Offices Their chiefs can
If should not be for them be absent half day.
If the District boards will only plan system OF appoint
ments and require regsrants to be puncua the examna
tons need take only an hour the most The business men
of Washington well the regrants would appreciate
it very much arrangements made for examinations
without the long waits that have been experienced the
opuous cities of the United States where the quotas
were many times larger than that required of Washington
in the first draft For examinations of all the regsrants
is finally ordered this city will be faced with task many
times greater than had with the first draft About 1000
men were examined for the first quota More than ten times
that number to be summoned The Times earnestly
hopes that this question systematically handled by those
who have the matter in charge.