New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1917-05-06

man and woman act, IN when ne
does the "businessO: understand you
write vaudeville acts.
Me (meekly. with forced modesty):
Yes. I've been accused Of it.
TN: Well, what do you charge for
an act?
, Me: That depends on whether you
want to buy it outright or pay roy
atty.
T. NJ: Well. what's the difference?
Ne: If you give me royalty, based
on your salary, keep the act up to
date for you put in timely stuff
once in while
T. NJ: Uh-huh. And suppose we buy
it right outflow much would that be?
Ne: Five hundred dollars.
7. NJ: Well. suppOsing I gave you
the idea for the act, would that make
any difference?
Ne: 1t depends on how much of the
idea you have.
T. NJ: Oh, have the whole idea
all you have to do is fill in.
Me Crying TO look interested: Well,
let's hear it.
T. NJ: Well docking around the Of
fee to see if you have a stenographer
hiding behind an ink we'll to take down
any ideas that might be mentioned),
here it is: The wife and l open with
song-a double version of "Me and
Ny Gal" It's old, but we do it diff
ferent. Then the wife goes Off to
change to her swell pink evening
dress and ! do my waltz clog - you
know, with the knee stuff-like this
Then the wife comes back and sings
this here new Won Tilzer song, and Won
Tilzer himself told her she got more
out Of it than anybody that ever sung
it. Then | come back in a swell Palm
Beach suit and we do They Called It
Dixieland" for finish, with fast
dance. Now, that's the idea-all you
have TO do is fill it in.
Now. that may sound like fiction, but
it isn't. That man really thinks he
has an idea for an act.
a woman came to me one day and
asked if couldn't write an act around
a good "cow girl" dress that she had
bought to wear in a show. The show
had played one week on the road and
then went to the storehousc for long
run. Several weeks ago well-known
dramatic actress asked me if | could
write a comedy act TO fit a set Of
scenery that she had used for a dra-
matte act that went on the shelf after
a single week.
Here are a few Of the letters that
have received from time to time
every one of them is bona fide. The
first man evidently had an ambition
TO be a female impersonator. The let
ter was written on Hotel Aston sta
tionery, which may mean something
or nothing;
What would you charge to write
nc kid song and Nell Brink
ley song, the same as Julian Eltinge
uses? I have $4,000 worth Of wonder
full gowns and / always wanted to be
a woman actor ! graduated from Pro
fessor IS Toe-Dancing School, and
when call | will bring my diploma.
An carly reply would be appreciated"
etc.
A fellow in small Pennsylvania
town evidently had read about the high
cost OF paper, for his letter is short
and 10 the point:
Dear Sir: What would you charge
10 write sketch for three cowboys
and an Irishman?"
A young man in Des Moines, Iowa
must have heard about the lack OF
novelties in stageland, for he suggests
something that even George Jean Ma
than would have TO admit is novelty
Dear Sir: 1 have been studying TO
be contortionist for the last year
and would like 10 get dramatic
sketch 10 use for vaudeville theatres.
| want TO use girl and three men.
The girl has a good voice and the
men have had lot OF amateur OK
porience. intend TO make business
Of acting; so yoa see. il my sketch IS
a good one, ] will always 20 to you
for the rest Of my sketches. Let me
know your price and how soon ! could
get the sketch"
A fond mother with a wonderful