The Sentinel=record., 1917-02-18

10 you know Hazel Jones" Quer- Jed one of the wandering mlnstrel- correspondents.
 Why yes." was the response. she is one of the silent sentinels at the White House gates,
 Do you know Hazel had an awful accldent?"
 Is that so? What happened to iazel?"
 Why. one of those big fat squirrels in the White House grounds bit off her ear"
 That's horrible. Did they km the squirrelg
 No indeed The president said t wasn't the squirrels fault, and the president was right"
 "I must disagree alth you The president was wrong"
 Well. suppose you were squirrel and sou were hungry and yon couldn't get any pork chops, or lamb chops beef steak or fried onions. or any thing like that, and you were Just a plain. oll-fashloned squirrel with an appetite for nuts, and for eight hours in the rain and snow and the sleet somebody stood in front of your house that they called Hazel l leave it to you. The president was right. he sure was right"
 Camping Tonight was a song to lhe suffrage sentinels, running thus; We're camping tonight on the White
 House grounds. Give us a rousing cheer; Our golden flag VIC hold aloft,
 Of cops we have no fear. Many of the pickets are weary to-
 night
 Wishing fos the war to cease Many are the Chilbla!ns and frost
 bites, too.
 IL is no life of ease.
 Tom Lawson, Barney Baruch Charley Sabin and Otto Kahn ap peared as a quartet. singing They met Tom Lawson in the Street Barney and Charles and Ot. He said. You boys appeared to know More than the public ought;
  Now won't you come to Washington And tell about the leak? They whispered No. no, thank you
 Tom,
 And didn't give a squeak But Tom came, willing, eager. too,
 And said they should be brought So Henry sent a sergeant-at-arms for Barney and Charles and Ot. Now boys. said Bob, come iel. Us all About this inside ring They whispered No. thank you, Bob, And didn't tell thing.
 Dr. Grayson, whose nomination as medical director of the navy with rank of rear admiral, was another target for musical shafts to the tune Of Captain links"
 He's an admiral rear. in the new
 navy, His name is Dr. Cary C. And though hell seldom go to sea, He's an admiral in the navy; And if the navy has a chill
 Take pill, take pill, No battleship will have the grip While he's admiral in the navy" In iniating a new member of the club, John Snure, correspondent of the Des Moines Register-Leader, pseu. do Ellis Island officials conducted an immigration examination for adm,s- sion
 Inspector to applicant sharply. Born" Applicant "Yee
 "Business?" Rotten"
 Foreign country"
 "Ioway'
 "Who is preident of the United States" Woodrow Wilson" What does he do?' Spends mot of his time dodeing women with yellow flags"
 Who is the vice-president
 "I don't know"
 Never mind. neither do We.
 Who makes the laws D"
 Woodrow Wilson"
 T Wilson makes the laws. what does congress dO?" -Squanders money on creeks r.y' lets and bluffs. mostly bluffs
 What is the building called ir which congress meets?"
 "A school for scandal
 "AI hat are the qualifications for a rear admiral of the naV?'
 ITO cure a cold and play 2 good game of golf Are you an anachist?' No. I'm a member of the Press Glllery."
 Thereupon the applicant qualified 1 fer admission.
 In the inauguration Of Ira F. Ben nett. originally from Carifornia. as p esident Of the club, a group of Cali fornia bad men" and Senator-elect