davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
TALKING ZULUESE.
The Majors Fine Bluff When ~ Was
Put to the Test.

There is a certain pool and billiard
hall in New York much frequented by
writer's. baseball players and others of
the learned professions. Also the es.
adjustment is a favorite loating place
for number of more or less interest.
ing characters. Among the regular
habitues is an elderly gentleman
known as 1.-THE major" whose CONVEX.
sational speciality is to claim close
personal acquaintance with the habits.
customs, languages and royal families
of all of the out of the way places Of
the earth 1t has been estimated that
if the major had visited all the far
countries he says he has visited and
had spent the time in each of them he
says he spent there he would now be
something over 300 years old.
Not long ago some one in his pres.
ence mentioned Zululand. That was
enough for the major For twenty
minutes he entertained the audience
with an account Of an expedition led
by him into the uttermost wilds Of
Zululand, where, according to his
statement, he was entertained for
many months by chief, from whom
the major professed to have acquired
a fluent knowledge Of the native
tongues and dialects.
The next day newspaper artist
who was born in Spain and who has q
complexion almost as dark as a Moor y
dropped fn Seeing him, the proprietor
had an inspiration. He told his plan
to the artist and to half dozen 9th
ers, and then, followed by the rest, he
led the illustrator over to where the
major sat and introduced the pair to
each other. giving to the swarthy
stranger an unpronounceable name.
Major" added the proprietor, "this
gentleman is Zulu who has been in
America many years. He Is homesick
for the sound of his own language
again. That's why have brought him
to you
This was the cue for the dark con
spirator. Clinging fast to the majors
hand. lie poured out rambling stream
Of mingled Spanish and Portuguese,
with Il series OF CluChS. SIuhIS anu
gurgles interpolated.
The major listened intently until the
other paused for breath. Then, with
mighty snort Of disdain, he wrested
himself free, and as he broke through
the circle he was heard to say to the
proprietor:
"Never allow that person to come
near me again Why, the low bred ruff
fan doesn't speak anything but low
ew-Saturday Evening Post
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Entirely Too Literal.

He was terribly in love with the
girl. and he was eloquent about it.
If she hadn't been intensely feminine
and therefore intensely inquisitive and
practical and unidealistic he could
have got away with his plea. He said
in part:
For you would sacrifice friends
ambition, honor, fortune career-nay
more
But here she interrupted him. She
asked:
"Since when did you have all those
lovely things?"
And he groaned and went out into
the night Women ruin all romance
they are so literal and materialistic.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
YES! LIFT A CORN
OFF WITHOUT PAIN!
Cincinnati authority tells how to dry
up corn or caIlus so It lifts
off with fingers.

You corn.pestered men and women
need suffer no longer Wear the shoes
that nearly killed you before, says this
Cincinnati authority, because few
drops of freezone applied directly on a
tender, aching corn or callus, stops sore
ness at once and soon the corn or
hardened callus loosens SO it can be
lifted out, root and all, without pain
A small bottle of freezone cost very
little at any drug store, but will posi-
lively take off every hard or soft
corn or callus. This should be tried,
as it is Inexpensive and is said not to
lrritate the surrounding skin.
If your druggist hasn't any freezone
tell him to get small bottle for you
from his wholesale drug house. It is
fine stuff and acts like charm every
time.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
SAVING a Desperate Man.

why did you get engaged to Harry!
You swore that you would never, nev.
er have anything to do with such a
man."
Eyes, dear. know did. But-well,
1 wouldn't have accepted him it he
hadn't made such dreadful threat"
"Oh, that old stall about rushing out
and committing suicide?"
mo; worse than that"
But any Of those threats are bluffs,
/ suppose he said he'd kill the next
man who called on you, eh?"
mo, no! I've heard that before.
Dearie, he threatened that If did not
accept him he'd 60 and propose to you.
And l believe he would have done 1t
too. He was perfectly desperate"
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
SHE GAVE HER TESTIMONY.
And Also Told How She Came to b
a Witness In the Case.

Senator Tillman, discussing an inves,
tigatiOn said the other day:
Some evidence is malicious. 1t re-
minds me of old Mrs. Bling.
Mrs. Bing, a thin, wiry old lady,
took the stand in case against one
John Bang. The lawyer began:
"'Now, madam, you will please give
your evidence in as few words as pos.
sible. You know the defendantf"
"'Know who|
1.-The defendant, Mr.. Joshua Bang.
"Josh Bang! reckon | do know
him and don't know nothin' to his
credit, nuther, Why
"'Pleasc answer yes" or no to my
questions
"What questionsY
"Do you know Mr.. Joshua Bang?
"'You ask Josh Bang if know him,
Ask him if he knows anything about
tryin' to cheat pore lone wilder like
me out of three-year-old cow. Ask
Now, madam
"'Ask Josh Bangs wife about that
thar brick she put in a batch O but
ter she sold last summer. Ask
"'Tf csc matters, madam, have moth
ing to do with
"'Ask John Bang about lettin' his old
mother die IN the amshouse. Ask
Mehitabil Bang about the time she was
caught III u neighbours field milkin'
four cows on the sly. Ask
Really, madam, do you know any
thing about this case or do you not?
"'No, | don't know nothin' about it,
but I've had it in for them Bangs for
the last thifty-scyen years, and l got
myself called as a witness so as to get
even. l guess I've done it, too. Good
aftern Don, sir Washington Star.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
is an easy thing to say

It's an easy thing to say
What another man should do,
But it's different through the day
To be quite so strict with you.
You can see what's right for them
Very clearly as you go,
And it's easy to condemn
When they falter or are slow.
But it's mighty hard to do
Every minute Of the day
Only what is good for you
And to keep the narrow way.
Detroit Free Press.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Too Stale For Them,

Will Tellum was furious He dash
ed into the editorial sanctum over the
PROSTATE form Of the office boy and
confronted the editor himself.
"Look here." he beloved "This
paper said | was liar!'
ooh, no, it did not replied the ed
itor calmly.
"It did, say"
81 say no!'
"Well, some paper said it, splutter
ed Tellum.
"POssibly it was our contemporary
down the street." said the editor
sweetly, lingering a paperweight, eve
never print stale news"
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

one day when
he had an ap-
poin TIM ent at
Windsor for II
o'clock he was
overwhelmed at
h earl in & t h e
clock strike the
noon hour just
as he was pass
ing through the
hall. Furious at
b ein g half a
minute late, he
raised his cane
and smashed the
g la s s of the
clocks face. The
k i n e, knowing
nothing of the
c oc k episode.
let him off with
a slight repri.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

time that the earl called on the king,
however, he was received less gra.
ciously.
HEREFORD said his majesty, how
came you to strike the clock?
1.-The clock struck first. your males
ty," was Hertfords immediate reioin
der
The aptness Of the speech and the
mock solemnity of the culprit in deliv-
ering it won the kings laughter and
forgiveness,-Youth's Companion.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
DON'T MIND ME-"

scraps of bread, bits of meat, leftover
canned corn and fruit and other odds
and ends.
The south side man was proceeding
homeward with as much dignity as he
could muster under the circumstances
when he tripped over curbstone,
struggled frantically and finally flop
ped. The basket turned over and over,
scattering the contents for yards about.
A pretty girl who happened to be
passing attempted to help the PROSTATE
man regain his footing.
"Oh," said the man. don't mind me.
I'm all right
AT any rate" the girl smiled, glanc-
ing at the wrecked basket, II know
you will let me help you gather up
your lunch. Youngstown Telegram
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

A freshman in New York univer-
sity who was asked to write theme
on his first impressions Of the city be-
gan with this:
1.-The most amazing sight l ever saw
was the skyscrapers Of New York
crossing the Hudson on a ferryboat.'
Such optical illusions of relative mo-
ment are not uncommon Pittsburgh
Chronicle
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

LEI NATURE TAKE IT'S COURSE"
have feeling that I'm not going to
live very long"
Nonsense! Give up smoking"
"Never smoked in my life, DOCTOR"
swell. stop drinking"
81 am a total abstainer from alco-
holic drink"
"Well. try going to bed earlier; get
more Sleep
"Hm always in bed by 8 O'clock"
"Oh, well, all can say is, my dear
sir, that ! think you had better let
nature take its course. You're alto.
gether too good for this world"
EverybOdy's Magazine.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Il Sounded Hopeful.

A young man who was not particu
larly entertaining was monopolizing
the attention Of pretty dabutante
with a lot Of uninteresting CONVERSE
ton.
NOW, my brother" he remarked in
the course of dissertation on his fam.
lily, rs Just the opposite Of me in every
respect. Do you know my brother?"
mo" the debutante replied demure
~, "but should like to."-New York
Times
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
The Last Straw.

A south side man who keeps a few
chickens has been getting table scraps
for chicken feed from the home of his
sister, who has large family. Call
ing for the first time in week, he
found a half bushel basket filed with
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

There are people who would do great
acts, but because they wait for great
opportunities life passes and the acts
Of loving kindness are not done at all
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Premature,

With rounding lips and an air Of
great Importance the small boy Of a
Sunday school In Belfast impaired the
happy fact to his teacher.
"The devils dead" he said SOL
snnly.
"What makes you think that7" said
the startled teacher.
dad said so,' explained the small
boy. II was standing in the street
with him yesterday when funeral
passed, and when dad saw 1t he said,
Poor devil; he's deadr"
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Pat Scored,

An Irishman named Pat Carr was
met by an Englishman one day, who
said to him:
"What's your name?"
"Carr," said Pat.
"Well, well,' said the Englshman;
you're the first car ever saw going
without an ass, so you're great sight
to me-"
"Begob,' said Pat, you're not the
first ass 1 saw going without car, so
you're no sight to me."-London Globe
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
- The -
Scrap Book
A Unsuitable Blow.

Ever punctual himself, King George
Ill expected similar punctuality in
others Lord Hartford knew and re
spected his royal masters wishes So
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Ambition,

Do not dare to live without some
clear intention toward which your liv-
ing shall be bent. Mean to be some
thing with all your might. - Phillips
Brooks.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24
Hopeless Case.

With fear and trembling be approach
ed the doctor. II know there's some.
thing wrong with my heart. doctor. ]
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1917-05-24

Liquor ads. will be barred from the
North Dakota mails after July 1.
The secretary of state has issued
nearly $4,000 automobile license tags.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20
FAMILY AVOIDS
SERIOUS SICKNESS
By Being Constantly Supplied With
ThedlOrd's Black raughl.

McDuH. Val suffered for severs
years" says Mrs. ]. Is. Whitaker, Of
his place, with sick headache, and
stomach trouble.
Ten years ago q friend told me 10 try
hedtord's Black raught, which ] did,
and | found II 10 be the bes. family medi-
cine Tor young and old.
keep Black raught on hand all the
time now, and when my children feel q
little bad, they ask me for a dose, and II
does them more good than any medicine
they ever tried.
We never have a long spell OF sick
ness In Our family, since we commenced
using Black Draught."
Thedford's Black Dfaught Is purely
vegetable, and has been found 10 regu-
late weak stomachs, aid digestion, re-
lieve indigestion, collie, wind, nausea,
headache, sick stomach, and similar
symptoms.
II has been In constant use for more
han 10 years, and has benefited
han a million people.
Your druggist sells and recommends
Black DTaught. Price only DC. Get 2
Rzckage to-day. n IA
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

The saving Of time and strength are
two OF the important subjects to which
you should give attention in mapping
out your business career, and tbs time
90 begin saving time aud energy Is
right now, when you start looking foi
q position. Try to realize that mo.
e. are golden. and that physical
strength-hculth-is q better asset than
any other upon which To- build success.
Now let ne explain "a point here.
when I say "s0Vc time and energy 1
mean, rather, conserve them. Make tho
best possible Use OF the hours, not nee.
c%ssarily by crowding aS much into them
az you possibly can, but 10y doing the
necdful things In their proper time.
similarly, with your strength and en-.
crgy. by sHving' mean not 90 cN.
cft yourself 90 the utmost capacity of
your strength, but 60 upportion your
strength to worthwhile things. IN DO.
ing So. remember you are storing up
energy and conserving your strength.
just as 70 storage battery stores clc,.
tricity.
BEFORE YOU set out on your hunt for
work make up your mind that if YOU
meet with disnppoinimcnts-Nhich ynu
probably Wiil-thc next dav is very
likely g. bring better fortune. and amy.
way You may take heart of grace u
the thought thar YOU are breaking
ground uli the whilc-Cround 70 may
ne. that viii yscld you rich returns iu
the future, when you may need them
even more than you du Dw. and whom
tou least YNu4ft them 2uu nIg rlf
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20
National Suffrage
Organizer Is Busy
Forming Clubs Here

Santa Pc. n. NJ. San. 80 Mas,
GctrJio' Watkins. national suffrage
organizer. i- In N,w Mexico for this
month organizing suffrage ciuu. tus-
Hilary to the national Miss NltHius
itinerary ,s as follows silver city.
lGth and l7th. san Iurcl1L l,th.
Sucurro. 18Th and goth Santa Fc.
-3d. Esd and 14th; Las Vegas. 2lth
Ration. s,th, Albuquerque gam and
3Oth G1lup lst and "a of Fehruar,
While iu Santa be % conference VIII
De held 10 consider the a~dyislb.!lty
of submitting q sunroEc amendment
in New McXIco at this time. ON ace
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20
THE CHURCHES
CcnirnI N,cnnc McihnlL.l.

Near hiah school. Joshua G.. Jones,
pastor.
sunday school. o.i5 a. IA; Joshua H..
Major. superintendent.
Junior league. 3 p. m.
Ladies' Bible study class Tuesday.
. 90 y. m.
At II O'Clock the pastor VIII speak
on Love. II Primary. Properties.
Fcrmancnce."
~ s.30 .. M. there viii DE % Niu
cal given NJ this hour by tho choir and
senior Epworth league. The chou wall
also give special musls at tue morning
hour.
There b. always q hearty welcome
awaiting all who desire - worship
with rs.
North Fourth Street sunday school
1900 North Fourth street.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20
nrondwnN Chnstian nmrch.

Randolph Cook, minister, residence
l20 South broadway. church next
door. phones 1885 and 1858.
sunday school 9i5 r. M; Prof.
Roscoe hin. superintendent.
The minister will preach M u %. IN.
Topic, Gods Message to the World
Through CHRIST.
st 1875 D.. M, Hcv. -. r. Scliards
will occupy the pulpit. preaching on
The Conversion of the Ethiopian.
Christian Endcavor, Juniors, Q 80:
Intermediate. SIS; Seniors 630 D
NJ. Good music. practical sermons.
and a welcome for an.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

West silver, at sixth street, Edward
+. SchueleT. pastor; parsonage adj
Joining.
An services in the English language
Strangers welcome.
Services at II a, m, and Z 80 y. m.
Morning theme, The Prayer Tor In
Of Faith" Mrs. Beal will sing
"One Swectly Solemn Thought" cam.
brosej.
Evening, The first az a series OF
SUNDAY Evenings With OId Testament
Characters. The subject viii 10
abraham
Sunday school. 9:4j a.. m.
christian Eudcavor. e o. p. m.
"Wednesday, 80 p. m., training les
son aud Bible study.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

nary %. Al the Presbyterian church
at \ o'clock. The following program
viii 8c rendered.
orean-ta) chorale. a minor. ..
Observation-Disclosures. Cesar Frnnck
orean-(b) schorzo. 5th sonata.
.........tas..s. Alex, Gutlnnnt
Mr.. =. Stanley Seder.
Michaelais Aria. from Carmen. .nizet
Mrs. s. u. Miller.
Arietta Waltz. In the Caimness.'
from Romeo and juliet. Gounod
Mrs. Ray Bailey.
story Of Counod's opera Faust. told
by Miss Ethel Hickey. with the fol-
lowing selections from IN, opera
Waltz chorns rom tho Fair Scene
Ladies Chorus.
siebel's Flower Song 20 entte
Flower. l Pray" .............
Miss Hurtensc Switzcr.
Soldiers Chorus-"Giory and Love
10 the Men Of Ola" ..........
Mixed Chorus.
Trio-"Hciy Angels" ..........
Mrs. n. L. Bradford as Marguerite
AT. ]. l. Lnpine as Faust
Mr.. y. W. Nichols. a. Mephistopheles
Fiuale-"Angel's Chorus .........
Mixed Chorus.
Chorus director. Miss Jennie Trott.
Accompanied Mrs. Mabel stevens.
Himoc. Air. T.. Stanley seder. Miss
Aiine Bixler.
Program arranged by Mrs. Brad
ford. Mrs. Himoe. and Miss Estelle
valck.
Chorus-Mrs. r. L. Bradford. Mrs.
y. W. Bennlng. Mrs. j. o. schwent-
ker. Mrs. r. W Nichols. Mrs. Ray Raj
ley. Mrs. s. u. Miller. Mrs. 4. l.
Deering. Mrs r. y. Miller. Miss Hor-
tense Switzer. Miss Haze Kieke, Mrs.
.Cnas. Mechanism. ars. r. @. Metz-
gar. Mrs. GEORGE T. Everitt. Mrs. y.
a. Adams. Miss Olive Everitt; Mr.
John Could. Mr.. J. l. Lapinc. Mr.. r.
stanley seder. Mr.. Orin Padel. Air.
r. W. Nichols. MIR. Louis Hesseldeu,
Mr.. NJ. Panidino. Mr.. Robert Sew
eli. Mr.. George F.. Everitt.
This program is the second given
by the club which is open to the pub
lie. Three others will be given dur-
ing February, March and April. The
opera Martha" Is booked for May.
Sir. T.. l.. Bradford VIII entertain
the members OF the advisory hoard
on Friday afternoon.
Mrs. J. NJ. Mercer. the president
OF the club, has been TO FL Pato 10
undergo a slight operation. but is at
home and recovering rpasdly.
o .
stercoptlcon lecture Rcpcatcd.
The s~tereopticon lecture on the l. ;
reclamation service. given by AIRS. -.
II. Long before the Tuesday Literary
club. was repeated AT the baptist
chnrch Friday evening before a large
| aud appreclative audience. Tue pro
gram was enriched by special music
by Misses Flora Marshall, Grace
| Stortz and Lorraine Long and Mrs
Benning.
Ycomen Install Officers.
The Brotherhood OF American
Yeomen held their annual installa-
ton Tuesday evening. The following
officers were installed:
Past foreman. w. ]. Congdon;
honorable foreman, Emil Jacobsen
master Of ceremonies, John stanord'
| correspondent. Mentz Aleson; chap
lain. Mrs. John stafford; Lady Row
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

Corner Lead avenue and South
Third street. Charles Oscar Hickman.
pastor; Miss Edith Gorby. dcaConess.
Public worship. II q. m. and 90
p. m. Morning theme. The Religion
Of Tomorrow Evenings Sermon
will hc the second Ia the series ON
The sermon on tho Mount" entitled.
The Christian COMPARED To- the Nor
alist.'
Special music, morning
Anthem. The Lost chord. tSuii-
.vaul.
Solo. How Lone wit Thou Forsct
Me. -.......... ~tSpedks.D
Mr.. Robert Sewcll.
Evening. anthem. Held by Ny
sayiof's Mighty Hand" .tAscholy.1
solo. Evening Prayer" by AIRS. y.
". Benning.
Sunday school. 9f5 n. m. Junior
League. 330 y. m. Epowtrh League.
g 80 y. N.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

Christian Science services are held
IN the Woman's Club building. Gl2
West Gold venue every Sunday norm
ing at II o'clock.
sunday school. a;45 o'clock; We'd
nesdav evening meetings at 5 O'Clock.
Reading room per daily except
sundays aud holidays from I Co = p.
m, In room IS, y. T. Armijo huildinE.
a free circulating library including
MI the works Of Mary Baker Eddy
ana other authorized Christian Science
literature is maintained In connection
with the reading room.
The public g. cordially invited tn at
tend the sunday services. the Wednc,-
dav evening meetings and to visit the
reading room,
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

Corner Coal aud broadway; A..
Toothaker. minister.
sunday school. a:4b n. m.
Preaching service. II n. m. sermon
by the pastor. Subject: THE Purpose
of Johns Gospel, Its Message to You"
Special music.
v. =. \. q. T.. $40 y. m.
Gospel service. 1880 y. m. Subject.
The Peril OF Forgetting Jehovah.
Everyone cordially invited.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

Carl Schinid. pastor. Residence. h0i
South High street. Phone 20tT.
our services are held In the Public
library. corner OF Edith street and
Central avende.
Sunday school. 10 a. m.
German services. II a. m. Subject:
Christ, our Comfort In Death"
English services. 7;3O y. IA. Subject;
Casting All Our Cares Upon Him.
English services every first and
third sunday of the month Ia the even
ing; German services every sunday
morning.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1917-01-20

Meets every sunday st aitt0a. M.
All are cordially invited 10 Join now.
EVANGELIST cam Amending will preach
for the last time At 5i5 y. M. sub
lect' Jacobs Ladder" Why not
come and hear him this onSe2