The Garland City globe. (Garland, Utah) 191?-1925, 1917-10-25

(COpy
DANGER OF ch APART
MENTAL
APART

lNNlS W uNJuSs lutlI SltllS ~ llldl
they walk side by side, within touch
ing distance of each other. II one
gradually quiCkens his pace until he is
yards ahead of the other and, I'm his
self-absorptiOn, increasingly wldens
the distance between them, they cease
to be two walking together and be-
come two walking alone. Marriage is
lifelong walk together of two who
have selected enCh other from all the
world. II Is community Of thought,
ideals, aims, needs and sentiments that
tends to keep them in step. II dONi
not mean n sacrifice of individuality,
nor does IL demand unanlmity Of opln-
ion, but there should ever be progress
siye harmony on essentials and pro-
gressiy sympathy on nonesscntials.
Some men feel pleasant glow of
satisfaction In fulfilled duty when they
divide generously with their wives
their material prosperity. If money
were the only thing In life, or oven
the greatest thing, their view would
he correct, but the really greatest
things In the world are those that
money cannot buy. When man finds
himself growing broader mentally and
does not share his new self with his
wife, he Is taking an intellectual elc-
vatOr and letting her trudgc alone up
the stairway rs best she can. When
ne grows into n larger and finer social
world and does not make her n part
of II he Is travelling In the purlOr-car
and keeping her In the day coach.
When the larger Interpretation Of life
aud It's problems strengthens his spir.
ituul aud ethical vision, while his wife
continues In the narrow horizon Of uu-
illuminated household cares, he is
mOuopollzing the telescope, which
brings things near and larger, leaving
her the microscope which only IN
crcascs the Importance Of her trillcs.
Growing apart mentally must, under
these conditions, become inevitable. II
may be that he alone Is to blame; It
may he her fault, or Il may be the blind
thoughtlcssncss OF both. Ills repeated
attempts TO talk over with her his
ideals, his dreams OF ambition, his
late her interest, 10 share with her his
intellectual uplift may be met with no
real comprehension, no sympathy, no
inspiring response. When cOmradeship
Ia marriage dies, Il really makes very
little difference what the pOstmOrtem
verdict rs 10 the decease may be.
When the husband Is out In the
world of business which tends 10 blend
with the social world, he may broaden
mentally as he prOspers materially.
lie travels over the country, aud In Il
wider acquaintance with men aud con
d.tlOns has many of the rough edges
of prOyinclnllsm worn smooth, lie
meets men OF attainment aud action,
men OF power and prestige, and under
u more stimulating environment devcl-
ops latent strength OF his own. lie
brushes UP against keen minds that
put new edge ON his thinking; he II
In closer touch with current thought
and opinion; he has acquired Il polish.
The keynote of his living, so fur as
society Is concerned, Is higher. His
tustes become more discriminating,
his demands more eXactlng. II he has
not been sharing these things with the
wife OF his youth, lac finds she has
been standing still while he has been
progressing.
She who faithfully struggled with
him and for him, helped him 20 get
the foothold Of his present success,
end became absorbed In working, plan
ming aud saving, may now be Il mere
drudge. lie has a new standard of
life now, and she falls sadly short of
II. lie measures things more super
IDEALLY, and though her heart may be
unchanged, her head Is not up To date.
lie may be ashamed TO Introduce her
into the new society of which he has
become part; she Is plain, unattrac-
tive, Oyerretlrlng or OyerlOquaclOus.
She Is aggressive in her dress and dis
play; she is not familiar with the rules
Vt the social game-with the tech
pique" of his new set.
The old equality between them has
been destrOyed-killed through ne
glect. IL Is not the work of a moment,
hut the slow, widening process Of years
of growing apart. But the realization
of it all may come in moment. There
may be suddenly an Illuminating flash
of consciousness, when he inyolun-
larlly faces 1t, in comparing her with
other women.
Some little mannerlsm of hers that
once was sweet, just because 1t was
hers, Jars on his sensibilities and
strikes a dlscOrdant note. Once he
did not care whether she thought II
was Homer or Carlyle who wrote
"Sllas Mariner" or whether she had
heard OF either author or book. Per
haps ut that time he did not know the
book himself. The red tape of So
ciety's cards. passwords and methods
may have become second nature to
him, and he Is unjust in his cOndemna-
ton of an ignorance which would not
have existed had he been sharing with
her his expanding life. He may no
tlce with a grating sense of dismay
that she does not put tie "oft pedal
on her laughter to conform to the
ripping notes of mirth pre-
scrlbed by tAe social code. She, too,
may have her saddening moments OF
Gnd refuse to enter q