Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1917-06-06
MR.. NEWCOMER
DOES HIS BIT
Trials and Tribulations of a
Patriotic and Loyal
Citizen

A T THE sacred hour Of a. m. Mr. New
"A conner who had recently moved into
the Thrty-elghth Ward, arose, shaved
dressed himself with care, stuck an Amerl-
can flag in his hat and sailed forth hum
ming Sousa's stars and Stripes Forever"
determined to set an example for his pre-
cinct by getting card No 1 at the registra-
ton place.
The night previous he had been Informed
that he should register two blocks east For
a week past ho had been seeking this infor-
nation and finally secured it from the drug
gst
SO, eXuding patriotism at every step Mr..
Newcomer arrives betmes at the polling
place. As soon as it is o'clock he presents
himself and watches the registrar mark
No, ! on the card. After answering sew
cral of the questions he is asked for his ad-
dress, and upon giving it is informed that
the registrars for his division meet three
blocks east and one black north.
Feeling sure that he will at least secure
card No. he hurries to the designated
place. Cautiously he inquiries If this is the
proper place for him to register for his
address.
No, it Is not The gentleman should walk
three blocks north and three blocks west
Purchasing few cigars he starts out again
confident that he will get card No or O.
Perspiring freely he finally arrives at
the place, where he is Informed. upon in
quiry, that he has been wrongly directed
He should walk three blocks east and two
blocks north.
Having started out without his breakfast
Mr.. Newcomer now purchases a box of
crackers, and, munching them. he again
sets forth determined to register or perish
in the attempt
Not Like Election Day
After walking a total of seventeen blocks
he finds himself at the fourth polling place
to which he has been directed II is now
1880 n. m. Three of the five registrars
have arrived. They are busy with a num-
ber of employees from a nearby Industrial
plant, none of whom is naturalzed
Finally Mr.. Newcomer gets the attention
Of one of the registrars and is Informed
that this is the proper place for him to
register.
He draws near the table and reflects on
his experiences of other days Had It been
an election, members of every QUALIFYING
party would have called on him, given him
explicit instructions where to 60, how to
get there and what to do when he did get
there.
But politics and Government matters ,ra
two entirely different things. II would NOT
occur to a politician that there could he
any political capital in advising strangers
in the ward where they should present them
selves in Government matter or TO give
any instructions to their constituents as
TO the questions to be asked
But he is awakened from his reverie nv,
the sharp call Next" 1t is s O'clock TJo
takes his seat, The registrar laboriousiv
marks 40" on the corner Of the card and
proceeds somewhat as follows;
Yer full name"
"Uriah Bascome Newcomer"
spell IL; didje think 1 was a walIin,
dickshunary0"
The applicant spells his name out. and
then spells each word separately about fivs
times.
What age yer mex birthday"
'Thirty-one."
SAY thuty-one then amt got all day.
Wuz yuh born in thuh Slater"
mo, New York"
SAY. don't git fresh. That's Anerica
amt It? Are yuh nacherillzed?"
Don't need 20 be-"
None NV yer lip. Writes in ''Tlot
Naturalized'D. What race are yuh. white
or Caucasian"
Both"
II warn yuh. Anuther smart answer and
yuh git year in Jail, them's the Presidents
wurds." (Writes in "white").
"Enybudy dependin' on yuh?"
wife and two children"
Are yuh marrIed7"
Yes"
Claim to be szsmpt9 Think It over
,Wsg doa;t blame ,yuh. War can't. 4.